WRENS ANATOMY. DISCOVERING His notorious pranks, and shameful wickedness; with some of his most lewd facts, and infamous deeds; both in his government of Peter-house College, and domineering in three Bishoprics, to his perpetual shame and infamy. Matthew Wren speaks over a desk with writing implements, petitioned by priests and church wardens only canonical prayers no afternoon sermons Altar-cringing Pristes' Churchwardens, for Articles. Woe be unto the Pastors that destroy and scatter the sheep of my pasture, saith the Lord. Jerem. 23.1. Printed in the year, That Wren seized to domineer, 1641. WRENS ANATOMY. SECT. 1. His birth, parentage, and education. THe world since its first creation, being by the fall of man, something degenerated from the first perfection and purity of nature, wherein the most blessed Almighty was pleased to vouchsafe it, the nature and quality of exceeding good, and by the fall of man, sin entering into the world, and by sin death and corruption of nature, ruling and conquering all living creatures, so that by sin, death, corruption, and depravation of nature, and natural things; the world hereby not being what it was at first, at sundry times, and several ages, and in divers places, from various causes, or rather imperfections and blemishes of nature; it hath been observed to produce monsters of several kinds, some of one fashion, and some of another, some whose causes were known and understood by the learned & judicious, and some whereof the reason was inscrutable; but of all Monsters, those Monsters in soul, seem more marvellous than those which are either deficient, or redundant in body. The subject that now we are to treat of, hath not been esteemed a Monster in body, nor a wonder to behold in person, but whether a monster in soul (if he think to have any) or a wonder to behold his profession and practices, I leave to other men's judgements; who (not so much as feeling the least part of h●s tyranny) shall but only hear, that one procreated of * He was born in Cheapside, his father (being an Haberdasher of small wares) kept the corner stall, next unto Cheap-Crosse, & was brought up in the University of Cambridge. ordinary parentage, some well disposed kindred, in so eminent a City (as being the chief in the Kingdom) and brought up in so famous an University, should commit so many monstrous outrages, and such prodigious wickedness. 2. His first preferments in the University. DUring his time at Cambridge, he first attained unto a fellowship of a College, which was the beginning of his rising, and so spent some years in that place; where whilst he was fellow, there fell out an accident, which I cannot pass by, but as it was reported to * By a credible person yet living. me, I shall relate; this Mr. Wren greatly frequented one Mr. Parishes house, and this Mr. Parish had a very handsome and proper woman to his wife; in whose life time, Mr. Wren lived a bachelor, and since her death hath married a wife of his own, and they say, he hath preferred or provided for Mrs. Parishes children: but to the matter; this being known and well noted in the Town, that the little bird fluttered so often about Mr. Parishes house, it happened that Dr. Batchcroft was in election to be Master of Keys College, which Mr. Wren hearing of, said, What? He? Why he is not a fit man to govern a College; which words came to Dr. Batchcrofts ear, who afterwards upon some occasion speaking to Mr. Wren, said; I thank you Mr. Wren, it seems I had your good word, yet methinks, I might be as fit a man to govern a College, as you to govern a Parish; which word strooke Mr. Wren with silence. After this, Mr. Wren attained to the degree of Doctor, and obtained to be Master of Peterhousse, and was preferred to be Clerk of the King's Closet; where he got the length of Canterbury's foot so exactly, that the freshmen of Cambridge smelled his Bishopric at least two or three years before it fell, knowing him to be a notable crafty insinuating fellow, as they would often say among themselves. 3. His bringing Latin Service into the College. THis wicked Wren, being Master of Peter-house College, and Clerk of the King's Closet, besides other preferments, being intimately familiar with Canterbury, and being a quicksighted bird, and of an active spirit, perceived the times drive so hard after Popery, he smelled the way to a Bishopric, and studied nothing more than to please the Papists, and Canterbury; and among other devises, he was noted to be either the first or one of them who brought in use again, Latin service in his College; thinking that young Students being trained up therein, and used thereto, would be an introduction to Latin service in Churches; which when he should come to be Archbishop, might be effected: and in the mean time, thought it would be excusable if any question should arise, because the Rubric of the Service book, doth allow private prayers in any tongue that they themselves do understand, (perhaps intending foreigners and strangers Churches here in England) which words he spied, and wrested to his own advantage, and so brought up Latin Service in Peter-house; and by his example, some other Colleges did the like. 4. His introducing Altars, and bowing thereto. ANother of his feats, and that no small one to please Canterbury, was the bringing in of an Altar, which was the direct way to the bringing in of Mass; for in vain should the Prelatists & Papists, labour to bring in the Mass, if there should not first way be made for to bring in an Altar, which after that they had but gotten that, and Latin service, and that both these were well settled, and all quiet, the work were more than almost done; for how easy were it for the Priest, having an Altar, and Latin service, to say Mass, there being so little difference, and the Country people so unable to distinguish them, or to discern the diversity between Latin service, and Latin Mass, and how easy were it for the Prelatists to dispute and cavil upon transubstantiation; especially when Controversies must be decided by Bishop's an● Archbishops, and they to have power of undoing other Ministers, that should oppose them▪ all which this wicked Wren well knowing, he first practiseth to bring in an Altar, and to do it smoothly, he first for many causes him moving, makes an Altar of a Table, and tumes it Altarwise, that so it may have an Altars place, and after that it only wants the name, and for that purpose he will not all on a sudden baptise it anew; but first promiscuously confounds the names of Table, and Altar; calling it sometimes one, sometimes another; and an Altar in one sense, and a Table in another, that so at last he might call it an Altar altogether; and then being an Altar indeed, and having both name and place, the materials (if need be) might easily be changed from wood to stone, and so having Latin service, or Masses, a Priest, an oblation, (as one of his Chaplains called it) and an Altar, the● wanted nothing that could give the Pope and Canterbury content, but only worshipping the Host, or Sacrament, which himself practised and performed in his own person, as hath been proved before a Committee, and bowing to the Altar, which he, and all his, and many others did; so that hereby, he had almost done all that could be desired by the Jesuits, or requisite for a reconciliation to Rome. 5. His being made Bishop of Herefore. THese things being so bravely performed, and handled with such dexterity, and admirable skill, gave Canterburyes little grace such Archcontent, to see his little bird so active, nimble, stirring, and so real, he thought to requite him well, both for his reward, and encouragement, and to animate others to follow his steps, and likewise to enable him to do more, and greater service; he plods with might and main, to advance this wicked Wren; and the Bishopric of Hereford falling then void, he with all haste and speed, procures him to be made Bishop, and so he is immediately, and now the little bird having done his Arch-grace so great, and such illaudable service, he is gotten into his Pontificalibus, and so having him for his fast friend, and ready to promote him higher, he studies nothing more, than to requite his Grace, and to manifest his further deserts. 6. His procuring Cousins to succeed him in the College. ANd to show himself mindful of his work, and watchful care, looking as well behind him as before, he remembers what service he hath done in his Mastership of the College, and considers how conducible to the purpose it will be, to leave his like in his place, and after much debating with himself, he can fierce find in all England, an ill looked Machiavelli bad enough to succeed him, but Popish Cousins; him he pitcheth upon, he having lately played his notorious pranks, in silencing Ministers (being visitor of York) and having long been known to hold Popish opinions, to have written Popish Books, and to have played many notable Popish parts, and persecuted Master Smart, and many others; for reward of his deeds, and furtherance of other services, he shall be the man to succeed him; he only of all men in England shall be Master of Peter-house, and indeed (to say truth) of all the wretches in England, he is most like unto wicked Wren, and cursed Canterbury, and therefore let him take it; and so farewell Friar. 7. His notorious Articles, called Wrens Articles. AND now this wicked Wren being in his Pontificalibus, and having attained to the first step towards the long desired honour and splendour, to which his ambitious mind aspired, hoping at last to arrive at the very Fastigium of Arch-Prelacy, (if Gregory come not between) his next business is to hold his Visitation; which that he may do it laudably, to cursed Canterburyes content, he plods and ponders such mischievous and most abominable Articles, that he, and the devil to help him, could devise; and these he intends to foist upon the poor Churchwardens, whom he knows to be such handtamed slaves, to the Prelates his predecessors, that the stoutest of them all, durst not disobey his Prelateships pleasure, but nolens volens, must obey, though to the hazard of their souls, or else if any should but so much as dare to refuse, he should be beggared and undone, by this cruel proud wretch, and therefore he very well knowing their necessitated submission, lays on load, both for them and the Ministers; verifying the old saying, Set a beggar on horseback, and beele ride boyond measure; so this wicked Wren, draws such Articles, as the wisest and learnedst Churchwardens in England, could not possibly know how to answer in their presentments; and thus he gins his projects. 8. His harrowing the Diocese of Hereford. THese Articles though they were most odiously base, and more than half devilish, yet that poor ignorant Country durst by no means refuse them, though they should all have sworn to betray their own Fathers, such was the rage and insolency of this cruel proud tyrant; and thus having received these Articles, and taken the oath, they all became Wrens sworn vassals, and bound in conscience upon their oaths to present unto him any man that should discourse profanely (as he esteemed it) at mealetime, touching Religion, or the holy Scripture, thereby to make men afraid ever so much as to mention God's Word, or any goodness, and enjoining an impossibility of avoiding manifest perjury in the Churchwardens, who could not possibly if they had been so many Spirits, have been present, waiting at so many several men's Tables at once; and likewise they were bound by oath, to certify by their presentment, whether the Ministers expounded the holy Scriptures according to the sense of the ancient Fathers? which was a task requiring Churchwardens better learned than ever Bishop Wren was, and rather requiring the Doctors of the Chair to be Churchwardens, and come to Bishop Wrens Visitations. And thus it pleased the great wisdom of God to besot this doltish Ass, as not to see his own blind foolishness in these and many such like abnominable absurdities put upon the poor Churchwardens. Which Articles with his other lewd and tyrannous demeanour, made such havoc in the Church, vexed and molested the Church Officers, grieved the people, excommunicated, presented, molested, so many innocent people, suspended, deprived, banished, beggared, so many honest, able, religious, painful Ministers, that this miscreant wretch, the devil's Plow-Chu●le, did even harrow up the whole Country, so that he brought it into a most miserable case, as ever did any Antichristian Prelate. 9 His translation to Norwich. THis wicked Wren having thus mischievously behaved himself in Hereford, and having made such hurly burly, and such stirs, that all the whole Country was in grief, vexation, and unquietness, and having swept out, by one villainous trick or other, by one tyrannical practice or other, all the most painful, honest, and lest Ministers; and in their places, brought in idle drones, dumb curs, idost Shepherds, and Altar-cringing Asses, and thereby having rendered the Country very flexible and tractable to Arminianism, Papism, Prelatisme, or Atheism, partly by fear of his tyranny and cruel practices, and partly by taking away their good and faithful Shepherds, who stood in the gap, and would be ready to speak for the truth, so that the Country might seem very reducible to Popery for any succeedant, and being become very disquiet and dangerous for himself so odiously hated, to reside in it any longer, under whose heavy burden and pressure the Country groaned, in so short a time; it was now become high time for that little devil cursed Canterbury, to bestir himself for his Journeyman Wrens sake, and to prevent a forcible detrusion or some such dangerous attempt, he thought it best by a timely translation to take him away, both to reward his diligent service, by promoting him to a better place, and to rid him of the cumbersome enterprises he had entered too far into, (having done all that could be done or desired in that place,) and also to make way for his further service, to do as much in another Diocese; he procured with all haste, care, and diligence, his translation to the Diocese of Norwich; too good a nest for such a shameful unclean bird. 10. His silencing and depriving fifty or sixty Ministers. AND no sooner was this Matthew mischief, or wicked Wren settled in the Prelatical dignity of Norwich, and being very mindful and studious of his Arch-masters will and pleasure, and knowing singularly well, that nothing could be so pleasing and acceptable to cursed Canterbury, as to do mischief enough, to persecute all good religious people, to oppose all profession of Religion, to hinder all good Preaching, to root out all practice of Religion, to profane the Sabbath, to forbid all Lectures and afternoon Sermons, to suspend, silence, deprive, banish, imprison, and ruin all good Preachers, faithful Pastors, honest Ministers, and faithful labourers in God's harvest, that so there might be none left that could teach the Word sincerely, truly, powerfully, none that durst profess and practise Religion honestly, uprightly, boldly, thereby to make way for Popery, the only thing in the world, which he knew very well Canterbury desired and aimed at, and at which he saw him drive with all his force; but presently this ungodly wretch was so far from mending his manners since he left Hereford, that rather growing worse, by seeing how Canterbury had stuck to him, and rewarded his former projects, he falls to work lustily, without either fear or wit, and prosecutes his purpose, so keenly, so eagerly, as if he were stark mad, and not a Minister in the whole Country, though never so conformable a man, if he be but any reasonable Preacher, but that he will have him down, and doth so bestir himself, that at one Visitation he silenced, suspended, deprived, imprisoned, or drove out of the Country, no less than filthy or threescore of the best Ministers in the Country, all at one clap, and turned many of them, their wives and children, out of all their living and maintenance, for any thing he either knew or cared a begging. 11. His silencing of Master Ward of Ipswich. THis notorious wicked wretch this Matthew mischief was in these his wicked acts and lewd enterprises, so far from bearing with age, reverencing grace, regarding learning and true abilities for the Ministry, respecting pains, or commiserating the wants of families and children, that he still without any of these respects aimed principally to do the most hurt to the best men, his care was chief to suppress good men, to oppress religious men, to repress all piety and grace, and to impress his stamp of Arminianism and Popery in all places where he had to do. Among many other honest, good, and gracious men, who felt the sting of this venomous Scorpion's tail, that ancient, famous, good, and painful man, Master Ward of Ipswich, was one who because he was an able, eminent, and noted man, therefore so much the more at him did this venomous Viper swell, and took such speech course to bring him down, that he never rested till he had it effected. 12. His putting in wicked and corrupt Arminian Ministers. AND as this infamous wretch, and lewd Prelate, was most vehemently circumspect to watch all opportunities to do all the harm he could in the Church; to spy all advantages against all good men; to be notoriously subtle in finding faults; mightlly aggravating the smallest, where he found any; wonderfully cunning to make faults where none were, desperately wicked, to outface the innocent, to suspend honest Ministers for scarce any cause, to silence them without a cause, not suffering them to preach afternoon's without his Licence, which perhaps he would not grant, to deprive the best men sometimes for very small causes, sometimes and most often for denying his innovations, imprisoning, degrading, banishing for what cause he pleased, or merely for his pleasure, the poor men being utterly remediless; the Arch-antichrist, and this his Journeyman Prelate being both so vehemently resolute to sweep out all that they thought untractable to Popery, so to empty the Churches, to void the Country of all good men, to make way for innovations and mutations, and as he was likewise most eager, keen, and active, to innovate, change, altar, and deform what he pleased in or concerning the Church, to erect Altars, to remove Tables, to make rails, to set up Tapers and Candlesticks, golden plate on Altars, embroidered and carved images, crucifixes, Saints pictures, and such babylonical idolatries, so was he most fervently zealous, and most wonderfully careful to introduce a Ministry that should yield to all things, to bring in such as he knew most certainly to be for all turns, for all purposes, for all matters whatsoever should be put upon them, such as would be willing to omit preaching, to observe bowing, crouching, cringing; to set up Altars, to worship Altars, to speak for Altars, to preach for Altars, and to be ready to alter both the Church and themselves at his will and pleasure, and frame themselves for all sizes, for otherwise though he had been never so wary, and circumspect to root out all good Preachers, never so active and diligent to bring in innovations and alterations, all had been in vain, all to no purpose without this, without placing and bringing in such as were for his purpose, and therefore this he was most careful of, this he thought would make sure work for all the rest, so that hereby we may be certain what to think of them that he thus brought into Churches. 13. His worshipping the Sacrament of his Altar. AND thus this Matthew mischief, or wicked Wren, having thus ungraciously effected the most of his damnable plots, facinorous acts and idolatrous services, practising so much superstition in his own person, and compelled others to the same, having rooted out like a wild Boar, many hundreds of better men than himself, having wasted the Church, and made havoc of the servants of God, and having set up so much idolatry, and compelled so many thousands to the same, to the eternal hazard of their souls, partly by sore constraining them to bow down to his altars and images, and partly by sleight and satanical cunning, deluding them in causing all the pews and seats to be so contrived, that the people must of necessity kneel down and bow towards the East, where he had placed his Altar Altarwise, and having exercised his whole power, might, and authority, for the suppressing of powerful preaching, prohibiting all Sundays after-noone-Sermons, weeke-day-Sermons, and all catechising, except the common Catechism in the Service-Booke, and all exposition of that Catechism, but only the bare Question and Answer, lest as he and his Officers said, the expounding of the Catechism and Service-Booke, should be as ill as Preaching; and commanding all Bells to be rung alike, that thereby people should not know where any Sermons were, and where only prayers were; and having thus set himself wholly against Preaching, and not that only, but likewise against prayer, not suffering any prayer before Sermons, but only that in the thirty-ninth Canon, a notable piece of Canonical nonsense, nor suffering any prayer at all after Sermons but only Gloria patri, etc. He grew still more and more rooted in sin and not only bowed to the Altar, but also bowing to the Sacrament, and elevating it above his head, that the people, being behind his back, with his face towards the East, might see the same above his head, as the Priest useth to do in Mass, which the Papists call the elevation of the Host; at which elevation they use to fall down and worship it, so that Satan having fully possessed his heart, in stead of growing better, he waxed continually worse and worse, so that it is marvellous to consider, that one imp to the devil, though he were possessed with a legion of devils, should do him so great service in so short a time. 14. His translation to Ely. AND now, lastly, having committed so many outrages, and villainies, and filled so many Countries with so much superstition, idolatry, and Popery, and having silenced, excommunicated, deprived, or banished so many honest Ministers, besides all others, at least fifty godly, learned and painful Ministers, in two year's space, with many more other times; and having so played the arch persecuter, that England never had nor heard of the like; far worse by many degrees, than ever bloody Bonner, or graceless Gardiner were, their Religion, times, and laws considered, and compared with this wicked Wrens; he grew so hatefully odiously abominable again to the very vulgar and common people, that for fear lest Ipswich Seamen should hurt his satanical corpse, he smelled no Mustard, and for the safety of his person, was glad some certain time to make buttons in private, standing in great need of his old arch-friend and Master-Prelate once again to stand his Journeyman-Bishop in some stead by a friendly and timely translation, lest by some violent mischance or other, Gregory should be wronged of his due expectations, which his sure friend and Master the arch-prelate, not unmindful of his state, nor forgetful of his services (whom he intends for his own successor at his advancement to the papal chair, if Gregory cross not them both in the very nick) he befriends him with a desired removal to the unwelcomming chair of Ely, where his goodness not much increasing he stays, expecting only one other translation by the favourable equity of our Worthies, now assembled for such purposes, from his chair of Prelatical residence, to be suspended from all earthly affairs, at the triangle posts near the Church of St. Egidius in campis, to which Justice I leave him. FINIS. MYEDIR.