A CENSURE OF Mr. Judas Tull His Lampoon.  
NAT. Tull! One of the most infamous Names in the City, whose Life is as a continued Vacation; and though a Man professing the Study of Law, all the Year with him, is out of Term. His whole Work is to do Nothing, or worse than Nothing; to Lampoon Ministers, Mr. Alsop and Mr. Williams in particular, with Stories to my knowledge he never believed, nor heard, but were the Result of a fruitful pregnant Invention. In short, his Life is a System of Iniquity; he would betray his best Friend, and Master too, for less than Thirty Pieces of Silver, with Judas his elder Brother; unless the Money be told by Pence, and this after Vows and Protestations (repeated often) of Fidelity to me all his Days. He is a Man, tho' of the best Wit, yet the worst Morals. Thus is he like Nebuchadnezars Image, his Head of Gold and Feet of Clay. The monstrous Fables he told of others, as well as myself; is one Reason among many? Why so many Loath his Conversation. Let him never Repeat o'er the Creed in Company, lest they that hear him should disbelieve it, as much as himself, thinking nothing true that he says. I have heard of a Seaman that was thought to be dead, being to be thrown overboard; says he, I am not dead. Said one, I do not believe him, he was ever such a lying Rogue.  
This is the Monster the Bapts have chosen, when Minge wrote like a Jack-Pudding, to Lampoon me like a Buffoon. They found the one feeble at arguing, and therefore employed this stoutly to Rave to get a Penny. A Club of them treated him from Night to Night, to make a Libel against me. How, sent they him away? Not a fresh Man sure? He thinks he hath too much Wit.— Were these Plungers plunged into their Liquors? No; but the Liquor were poured down a-main. It is well the Custom here is pouring, else were they plunged in, they would drink up a River.  
In John's Baptism, That they than talked of, there is nothing belongs to them but, O Generation of Vipers! A perpetual blemish to them and their Cause.  
Nat. Tull, of whose Atheism and Madness; all the City hath long rung, is a Chrispian Bapt. his Father was a Lay-Speaker among them.  
In some Swearing Company, tho' restrained before others, Judas hath sworn at such a rate, no Gallant could out do him; this he could not deny when reproved by some of us.  
For Drunkenness: he can continue from Morning till Night.— Woe to you of this Club, that thus puts the Bottle to his Mouth. For another Sin, how shameful is it, when talking of the open common Whoredoms of Mr. T. to say in all this, You do but draw my Picture! This, I will give an Oath, I and others heard him say.  
For Idleness, who will trust him? I once employed him in a Law business, pitying his Poverty; and after he received my Money, he served me such a Trick, that it is no wonder the Bapts themselves never care to employ him, except it be in Lampooning the true Baptists. What he did with his large Patrimony, and afterwards went up and down like a second Cain. What attempts he made against his own— Fame talked much of: I once spared no pains nor cost upon him, hoping his Reformation on fair Promises; but some men were true Prophets who told me I would repent it. He about two Years since, being poor, desired me to get him a Place; and after some sad Reflections, That he had forgotten his Philology, said he could wish to become a Boy again, and desired me to help him. I consulted his Brother, who told me, that he could not govern himself, but must be in subjection; when I tried him a few days, and entertained him freely, and gave him a great number of valuable Books: I told him he was a forward Youth, and needed no Discipline here, but if he played the Truant, and was unnecessarily absent at learning time, I would put him off; but said I, what if you come in Drunk? You must be strapt. To which he consented, But though he, as well as some others once, never were like to have one strap for his Book, yet he muched so often, I grew weary of him: And perhaps he thought, should he be strapt as often as Drunk, it might sometimes be more than once a day. When the poor Old Woman dies, to whom he is said to be an intolerable Burden: who shall take care of him? will he not go up and down ready to stink for want of good Linen, like a Brother Pot-Companion—  
Nat. Tull, as all know, was once a great Advocate for me about the wonderful success of my continued pains with a few, and my Discipline also) I being paid according to success. What he told the Dean himself is well known: He being sometimes at my House, Day and Night, but now unsays all, and the occasion was, I found him lately as drunk as drunkenness itself, and so abusive, that I thought his Conversation intolerable.  
A great Grecian among the Bapts, before their great Men on the Examination of a Lad, what he had done in ten Weeks, took me by the hand and said, I beg your pardon; I must confess, I have ridiculed the Wonders told of you: All is true, but how such great Work is done in so little time, I cannot imagine. I will hereafter be as great an Advocate for you, as I have been a Censurer.  
In answering vain Objections against me, there is no end; who shall judge a Man's Actions that knows not his Circumstances? I am paid sometimes more than ten Pounds for one Years learning only, besides Table. But now to the Libel. In short, Judas, thou and many know tho' some do not.  
1. that Mr. Williams, Mr. Woodhouse, and others, appointed a Meeting at my House, about Stories set on foot by Mr. B. concerning the Son of Mr. S. two years since about Learning, and Discipline. All said, never were greater Lies told, than those against me. I satisfied others that send for me, or come fairly to me. This is well known.  
2. What Methods I take, I can do my great work by, not without, and I have tried all. All is done to more than the satisfaction of the best I educate, let their Years be what they will. Who regards them in Westminster, Winchester, and many famous Schools: He that comes to me must speak Latin or Greek in Common discourse when he is able, etc.  
3. I have consulted Aged Ministers, and learned Gentlemen for Advice.  
4. Mr. Benjamin Keach a Bapt, told me that all the Bapts were satisfied when I wrote them a Letter about an ignorant Boy, a Preacher of theirs, of unparalle'ld Imprudence.  
5. I meet with those of many Years more than twenty, that cannot read an English Chapter and Psalms well, nor talk common Sense, Yet greedy after Learning. They (and their Fathers too) desire they may be governed as others are. Some of ten Years old are more wise, and orderly than some of more than twenty.  
6. I am very glad when I can get a good Usher, which sometimes I have had a Considerable Time. Then I only teach Learning, and Discipline I leave to him. And I wish I could always so speed. I should not endure those pains I sometimes do.  
7. No Scholars live more pleasant than mine do. I have often said it, and can prove it.  
1. That not one Sickly Lad ever came to me but he grew Healthy. Of which I have now one great Instance.  
2. Never a Vile Boy whom none could Tame or make bad only at a Common Rate, but hath been sober. Another such Instance is now with me. As great as ever was known.  
3. No Dunce, who could do nothing in many Years ever stayed here, but Learned Considerably. One as much like a Natural as was possible for one to be, that was none, in a few Months made and talk true Latin often according to Rule. A Blind Person from his Infancy, That the Reverend Mr. Maudit takes care of, and commonly Examines every Saturday in the afternoon, since July last, hath Learned, as Lillys Grammar, Cato, Fables, Ovid de Tristibus. So a Great way in Ovid Metamorphosis, Erasmus, (Formulae Loquendi almost Memoriter, Nomen Clatura, so) and other Books. Hath construed many Scores of Chapters in Latin in the Old and New Testament. Hath made not only good Epistles, but Themes above 2 Months. Talk true Latin Commonly all day. And Occasionally Learned the Kings of England, with Remarkable Passages in their Reigns. The Twelve Caesars out of Leigh. Saturday Nights and Sabbath Day Nights. All Clarks lives in Quarto, and many Divinity Books.— Much more have some Learned in the Time, and he had, if not blind. These things are not done in a Corner, Come and see. May I say to all Sober Men I know. Not to others, that on a design shall deny what they confess here.  
Alas! Had I given this Poor unemployed Mercenary Jack so much Money to write against them, as they gave him to write against me, he had soon done it: He cares for no Cause, but for Money, but I must Learn that Rule. Pity the Poor. I stopped a Severe Letter he wrote to Dr. Ker for what he did to a Young Man, and Justified the Doctor: As for other Stories shown up and down in the Lampoon, which I have not yet seen I confess.  
1. I have answered W. C. his Trepidantium Malleus Intrepidanter Malleatus, and B. C. the Quaker to their Confusion, and the Satisfaction of all Men, and this Accuser too. Let him say what he will, I care not to be told of Intervals from Fits from them that have none from theirs Roaring when he ran to hear. (Oh)! Men condemned to die, was it in that Terrible Fit he feared his Turn would be the next Sessions? He Rambles like this Brother Mr. Minge Make Water, (did he so when Dipped as well as others.) In the Title he Name's only my News Years Gift Occasional Passages there. This is to Satisfy the Wise Bapts that shall say. This is no Answer to the Epistle to Mr. Keath.— In the Epistle he mentions, The Three Particulars in my Epistle. That John declares he Plunged no one, etc. This is to Satisfy the Mob that shall say why is not that Epistle Answered. Was ever such a Vile Trick done till Mr. Make Water wrote.  
2. This Judas had a hand in Socks and Buskins against Mr. Alsop, where he is called Lunatic, Madman, Graceless Person, as well as I.  
3. For my Religion, I have pleaded Old Protestanisms against Innovators. The Crispians said I had written well against the Baxterians they said, I had written well against the Crispians and the Anabaptist said I had done well against both. And they both now say, I have written unanswerably against the Anabaptists. And the few good Old Protestants in London, say I have done well against them all.  
Ob. But have I not done what I blamed M- Jacob for saying against the Bapts. No, nor never thought what he said. See my Apology. It is not convenient now to Name.  
I dare Challenge any Man to tell what Baptist ever wrote so faverably of the Bapts, as I in that Epistle to Mr. Keath, Tho I confess I am sorry none of them talk with half that Indignation against their Bristol Reformer and Sister Roe, as against me for my Necessary mentioning it:  
For my part, I speak it Soberly I do believe. The Three Dippers lately discovered, and many more have done, sometimes what the reforming Bristol Rogue did, and I will give this reason. The other Sisters were silent, and made no Confession, till Mrs. Roe told all. Now had she been silent too, the thing had continued as a secret— I challenge any Bapt in that City to deny the story.  
And because the learned Bapts in this City, appear not in Print knowing they cannot answer my Epistle and therefore imply a Minge, and a Tull. I am sorry I am forcced to Challenge them an to open Disputation, about the Three propositions in that Epistle, That John the Baptist declares he plunged No Man etc. And also about my Three propositions in this Book, but if they will deny the Second, I will not swear to it, For I grew weary of Fools or Knaves. Minge cannot hid his folly and ignorance.  
Projicit ampullas & sesquipedalia verba.  Hor. de Art Poet. 
One would think every word in Mat. 3.11. were against plunging.  
J. John that opened the way for the Gospel; and its plain simple Administration, could he bring in a Yoke worse than Circumcision? Must this be taken away that signifies mortification of what all are inclined to, for a thing that tends to, and too often ends in Uncleanness?  
Indeed— Indeed John if thou didst plunge, I cannot well understand thy Words, nor Luke the best Grecian neither.  
Baptise— Not Bapt or Plunge; for after much consideration, I now declare ' its my Opinion, that Baptizo never signifies to Plunge in all the New Testament.  
You— What plunge the tender Sex? What those that had Pains in the Teeth, etc.  
With Water— Not in it; for some might say, Minge, Minge; and if St. Francis whipped the Devil till he made him roar for pissing in the holy Pot, as the Papists Fable; what do they deserve who thus do in the Water of Baptism? Show yourselves Men, O ye Transgressor's, (Dippers) say it if you dare, that God works such a Wonder to stop the Fountains of Nature in you all in your Dippings▪ But if you say, this is but an Argument a posteriori, not a priori. I Answer jocularly: I believe you find some of you, in the Water, it is from both. Thus have you, like the Woman in the time of King Solomon, took away a living Child, and put a dead one in its Place, taken away true Baptism, and put in Plunging, not as in a clean Place indeed, but sometimes as in a Jakes, where they are dipped in Waters of more sorts than one. Away filthy Beasts.  
1. What good News would there be for Physicians and Apothecaries, should plunging prevail, which Heaven forbidden? Come away Mr. Doctor. One is grown deafish,— Come Mr Apotheccary, Another is a Barking, as if he would bring up his Heart— Come my Wife, my Daughter, she will die by this Cold, as others have done. How is it so many Bapts look pale, more than others.  
I was told before I saw the Lampoon (which I saw not till all afore written was done) that there was Tulls Hint of Sodomy, which he had privately hinted also, what will they invent next. Several things I should say and do about some other matters, are such mistakes, My Friends, are angry with me, that I replied and expect a promise, I shall not do it again. This being, say they, a Trick to divert you from your Invincible Arguments against Plunging, for such, (Mr. Fuller, Mr. Woodhouse, Mr. Shower, Mr. Keith and others say they are) I close all.  
O God, if ever I abused my Body with Mankind, this way hinted; or ever once did any thing that had a tendency thereunto; (or ever abused my Body with any Womankind either) Let this Sin be as the unpardonable Sin, never to be forgiven in this World, nor in the World to come, Amen, Amen.  
These Men, as Fame says, have sometimes confessed they could not charge me with bad Morals, but only with imprudence, A high Commendation from such Infamous Persons.  
FINIS.