Impossibilities, OR,  
A matter of nothing, yet some thing you'll find  
I know in the reading, will pleasure your mind,  
Then hear it I pray, and when you have done,  
You'll say that the thread is handsomely spun.  
To the tune of, I sigh, I sob, etc.  
 
 

IMprimis, When men do begin,  
To follow virtue, leave off sin:  
When women think it no disdain,  
To do indeed the very same,  
Than you may say, and justly too,  
The old world now is turned anew.   

When Newgate is a place for Nuns,  
And through Cheapside a river runs,  
When Charingcross has such a face,  
To justle Paul's out of her place:  
Then you may say; and not till then,  
The world is full of honest men.   

When wood doth hew into the sea,  
And coaches do the horses draw:  
When darkness doth outshine the light,  
And Snails surpass the arrow's flight:  
Then you may say, etc.   

When Lucipher an Angel turns,  
And when in hell no fire burns:  
When stars as thick as hail do fall,  
And new Bride well no hospital:  
Then you may say, etc.   

When men are proned to such good will,  
That they to no one do no ill:  
When ships do sail on rocks of stone,  
And when the Whale has ne'er a bone:  
Then you may say, etc.   

When what is worst doth turn to best,  
When Crabs with Swallows build their nest:  
And when Musicians scorns to use,  
Such crotchets as they should refuse,  
Than you may say, etc.   

When morning dew doth fall at night,  
And men lift crutches with a slight:  
When little children yet unborn,  
Do say that many wears the horn:  
Then you may say, and not till then,  
The world is full of honest men.   

When Westminster doth eastward stand,  
And touches neither sea nor land:  
And when therein you cannot see,  
A Lawyer that will take his fee,  
Than you may say, and justly too,  
The old world now is turned anew.   

When Usurers will gratis lend,  
And every one their lives do mend:  
When the Moor has washed him clean,  
and Turnbull street has ne'er a quean:  
Then you may say, etc.   

When Hens tread Cocks, & Cocks tread Geese,  
And ganders kitten like cats and mice:  
When as the earth doth bear no Moles,  
And little Foxes have no holes:  
Then you may say, ctc.   

When oil and water do agree,  
And deadly foes attoned will be:  
When Smithfield is a field of grass,  
And when the Ox doth ride the Ass.  
Then you may say, etc.   

When Sorcerers do leave their charm,  
When spiders do the fly no harm:  
And when the Blackbird leaves to sing,  
And likewise Serpents for to sting:  
Then you may say, etc.   

The second part  
to the same tune.  
 
 

WWhen men their chiefest care do make,  
To feed the poor for pities sake:  
And when tradesmen do apply,  
To do as they would be done by:  
Then you may say, and not till then,  
The world is full of honest men.   

When Lechers they do leave their lust,  
And do those things are good and just:  
When Harlots do Susanna's prove,  
And none but husbands dear love,  
Than you may say, etc.   

When the blasphemer leaves to swear,  
And unto goodness doth repair:  
When old men do encounter youth,  
And liars speak the very truth,  
Than you may say, etc.   

When lovers they do constant prove,  
And never deign for to remove:  
When little vailies top tall hills,  
And bad men leave their wont ills:  
Then may you say, etc.   

When rich men do esteem the poor,  
And feast 'em till they cry no more:  
And when the streets you may pass free,  
And yet not scarce a beggar see:  
Then you may say, etc.   

When servants do their Master's sway,  
And blind men lead the ready way:  
When dumb men talk with eloquence,  
And lame men run with eminence:  
Then you may say, etc.   

When Gunpowder doth leave his force,  
And every Pharaoh feels remorse:  
And when no sessions needs to be,  
Because all men loves honesty:  
Then you may say, etc.   

When all the prisons here about,  
Have justled all their prisoners out:  
Because indeed they have no cause,  
To keep 'em in by common laws:  
Then you may say, etc.   

When birds in waters deep do lie,  
And fishes in the air do fly:  
When water burns and fire doth freeze,  
And oysters grow as fruits on trees:  
Then you may say, and justly too,  
The old world now is turned anew.   

When as the spruce and courtier too,  
Shall bid to compliments a dew:  
When little Bees shall castles bear,  
And fly so with 'em through the air:  
Then you may say, etc.   

When as Zacheus shall restore,  
His ill got goods unto the poor:  
And when the Camel shall espy,  
A way to pass the needles eye:  
Then you may say, etc.   

When snow falls black, and crows be white,  
And all things that are wrong turn right:  
When silly lambs do causes plead,  
And wear long gowns of melted lead:  
Then you may say, etc.   

When Turks do leave their Mahomet,  
And all day long in churches set:  
When Pagans do believe in God,  
And likewise fear his direful rod:  
Then you may say, etc.   

When men with pearl do fatten hogs,  
And coward dear do menace dogs:  
When men on sands their seeds do sow,  
And pear trees they do downward grow:  
Then you may say, etc.   

When Phoebus spreads his beams by night,  
And Cynthia doth by day give light:  
When God in mercy is resolved,  
That this same world shall be dissolved:  
Then you may say, and justly too,  
The old world now is turned anew.    
E. F.  
FINIS.   

London Printed for Edward Wright, dwelling at Christs-Church gate.