TIME VINDICATED TO HIMSELF, AND TO HIS HONOURS.  
In the presentation at COURT on Twelfth night. 1622.  
— qui se mirantur, in illos  
Virus habe: nos haec novimus esse nihil.   

TIME VINDICATED.  A Trumpet sounded. FAME entereth, followed by the Curious, the Eyed, the Eared, and the Nosed. FAME. 
Give ear, the worthy, hear what Time proclaims.  EARS. 
What? what? Is't worth our ears?  EIES. 
Or eyes?  NOSE. 
Or noses?  
For we are curious, Fame: indeed, the Curious.  EIES. 
We come to spy.  EARS. 
And harken.  NOSE. 
And smell out.  FAME. 
More than you understand, my hot Inquisitors.  
Is it not so?  NOSE. 
We cannot tell.  EIES. 
It may be.  EARS. 
However, go you on, let us alone.  EIES. 
We may spy out, that, which you never meant.  NOSE. 
And nose the thing you sent not. First, whence come you?  FAME. 
I come from Saturn.  ERRS. 
Saturn, what is he?  NOSE. 
Some Protestant I warrant you, a time-server,  
As Fame herself is.  FAME. 
You are near the right.  
Indeed, he ' is Time itself, and his name KRONOS.  NOSE. 
How! Saturn! Chronos, and the Time itself.  
You ' are found: enough. A notable old Pagan.  EARS. 
One of their Gods, and eats up his own children.  NOSE. 
A Fencer, and does travail with a sith  
in stead of a longsword.  ELSE. 
Hath been oft called from it,  
to be their Lord of misrule.  EARS. 
As Cincinnatus  
Was, from the plough, to be Dictator.  EIES. 
Yes.  
We need no interpreter, on, what of Time?  FAME. 
The Time hath sent me with my trump to summon  
All sorts of persons worthy, to the view  
Of some great spectacle he means, to night,  
To ' exhibit, and with all solemnity.  NOSE. 
O, we shall have his Saturnalia.  EIES. 
His days of feast, and liberty again.  EARS. 
Where men might do, and talk all that they list.  EIES. 
Slaves of their lords.  NOSE. 
The servants of their masters.  EARS. 
And subjects of their Soucraigne.  FAME. 
Not so lavish.  EARS. 
It was a brave time that.  EIES. 
This will be better.  
I spy it coming, peace, all the impostures,  
The prodigies, diseases, and distempers,  
The knaveries of the Time, we shall see all now.  EARS. 
And hear the passages, and several humours  
Of men, as they are swayed by their affections:  
Some grumbling, and some mutining, some scoffing,  
Some pleased, some pining, at all these we laughing.  NOSE. 
I have it here, here, strong, the sweat of it,  
And the confusion (which I love) I nose it,  
It tickles me.  EIES. 
My four eyes itch for it.  EARS. 
And my ears tingle, would it would come forth:  
This room will not receive it.  NOSE. 
That's the fear.  Enter CHRONO-MASTIX. CHRON. 
What? what? my friends, will not this room receive?  EIES. 
That which the Time is presently to show us.  CHRO. 
The Time? Lo I the man, that hate the time  
That is, that love it not; and (though in rhyme,  
I here do speak it) with this whip you see,  
Do lash the Time, and am myself lash-free.  FAME. 
Who's this?  EARS. 
'Tis Chronomastix, the brave Satire,  NOSE. 
The gentlemanlike Satire, cares for nobody,  
His forehead tiped with bays, do you not know him?  EYES. 
Yes Fame must know him, all the Town admires him.  CHRO. 
If you would see Time quake and shake, but name us,  
It is for that, weare both beloved, and famous.  EYES. 
We know, Sir: but the Time's now come about.  EARS. 
And promiseth all liberty.  NOSE. 
Nay licence.  EYES. 
We shall do what we list.  EARS. 
Talk what we list.  NOSE. 
And censure whom we list, and how we list.  CHRO. 
Then I will look on Time, and love the same,  
And drop my whip: who's this! my Mistress! Fame!  
The Lady whom I honour, and adore!  
What luck had I not to see her before!  
Pardon me, Madam, more than most accursed,  
That did not spy your Ladyship at first,  
To ' have given the stoop, and to salute the skirts  
Of her, to whom all Ladies else are flirts!  
It is for you, I revel so in rhyme,  
Dear Mistress, not for hope I have the Time  
Will grow the better by it. To serve Fame  
Is all my end, and get myself a name.  FAME. 
Away I know thee not, wretched Impostor,  
Creature of glory, Mountebank of wit,  
Self-loving Braggart, Fame doth sound no trumpet  
To such vain, empty fools: 'Tis infamy  
Thou servest, and follow'st, scorn of all the Muses,  
Go revel with thine ignorant admirers,  
Let worthy names alone.  CHRO. 
O, you the Curious,  
Breath you to see a passage so injurious,  
Done with despite, and carried with such tumour  
'Gainst me, that am so much the friend of rumour?  
(I would say Fame?) whose Muse hath rid in rapture  
On a soft ambling verse to every capture,  
From the strong guard, to the weak child that reads me,  
And wonder both of him that love's, or dread's me!  
Who with the lash of my immortal pen  
Have scourged all sorts of vices, and of men!  
Am I rewarded, thus? have I, I say,  
From Envy's self torn praise, and bays away,  
With which my glorious front, and word at large,  
Triumphs in print at my admirers charge.  EARS. 
Rare! how he talks in verse, just as he writes!  CHRON. 
When have I walked the streets, but happy he  
That had the finger first to point at me,  
Apprentice, or journeyman! The shop doth know it!  
The unlettered Clerk! maior and minor Poet!  
The Sempster hath sat still as I passed by,  
And dropped her needle! Fishwives stayed their cry!  
The Boy with buttons, and the Basket wench  
To vent their wares, into my works do trench!  
A pudding-wife, that would despise the Times,  
Hath uttered ' frequent pen ' worths, through my rhymes,  
And, with them, dived into the Chambermaid,  
And she unto her Lady hath conveyed  
The seasoned morsels, who hath sent me pensions,  
To cherish and to heighten my inventions.  
Well, Fame shall know it yet, I have my faction,  
And friends about me, though it please detraction  
To do me this affront. Come forth that love me,  
And now, or never, spite of Fame, approve me.  At this the Mutes come in, THE ANTIMASQVERS. FAME. 
How now! what's here? Is hell broke lose?  EYES. 
You'll see.  
That he has favourers, Fame, and great ones too,  
That unctuous Bounty, is the Buff of Belins-gate,  EARS. 
Who feasts his Muse with claret wine, and oysters,  NOSE. 
Grows big with satire,  EARS. 
Goes as long as an Elephant:  EYES. 
She labours, and lies in of his inventions,  NOSE. 
Has a male poem in her belly now,  
Big as a colt,  EARS. 
That kicks at Time already,  EYES. 
And is no sooner foald, but will neigh sulphur:  FAME. 
The next?  EARS. 
A quondam justice, that of late  
Hath been discarded out ' o the pack o'the peace,  
For some lewd levity he holds in capite,  
But constantly love's him. In days of yore,  
He used to give the charge out of his poems,  
He carries him about him, in his pocket,  
As Philip's Son did Homer, in a casket,  
And cries, O happy Man, to the wrong party,  
Meaning the Poet, where he meant the subject:  FAME. 
What are this pair?  EYES. 
The ragged rascals?  FAME. 
Yes.  EYES. 
Mere rogues, you ' world thinke'em rogues, but they are friends,  
One is his Printer in disguise, and keeps  
His press in a hollow tree, where to conceal him,  
He works by glowworm light, the moon's too open.  
The other zealous Rag is the Compositor,  
Who in an angle, where the ants inhabit,  
(The Emblem's of his Labours) will sit curled  
Whole days, and nights, and work his eyes out for him.  NOSE. 
Strange arguments of love! There is a School master  
Is turning all his works too, into Latin,  
To pure Satyric Latin; makes his Boys  
To learn him; calls him the times Iwenal;  
Hangs all his School with his sharp sentences;  
And o'er the Execution place hath painted  
Time whipped, for terror to the Infantry.  EIES. 
This Man ofwarre i'the rear, He is both Trumpet  
And Champion to his Muse.  EARS. 
For the whole City.  NOSE. 
Has him by rote, recites him at the tables,  
Where he doth govern, swears him into name,  
Upon his word, and sword, for the sole youth  
Dares make profession of Poetic truth,  
Now militant amongst us. To th'incredulous,  
That dagger is an article he uses,  
To rivet his respect into their pates,  
And make them faithful, Fame, you'll find you ' have wronged him.  FAME. 
What a confederacy of Folly is here.  They all dance but Fame, and make the first Antimasque, In which they adore, and carry forth the Satire, and the Curious come up again. EIES. 
Now Fame, how like you this?  EARS. 
This falls upon you  
For your neglect.  NOSE. 
He scorns you, and defies you,  
H'as got a Fame on's own, as well as a Faction.  EIES. 
And this will deify him, to despite you.  FAME. 
I envy not the 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉.  
'Twill prove but deifying of a pompion.  NOSE. 
Well, what is that the Time will now exhibit?  EIES. 
What gambols? what devices? what new sports?  EARS. 
You promised us, we should have any thing.  NOSE. 
That Time would give us all we could imagine.  FAME. 
You might imagine so, I never promised it.  EIES. 
Pox, then 'tis nothing. I had now a fancy  
We might have talked o' the King.  EARSE. 
Or State.  NOSE. 
Or all the World.  EIES. 
Censured the Counsel,  they censure us.  EARS. 
We do it in Paul's.  NOSE. 
Yes, and in all the taverns.  FAME. 
A comely licence. They that censure those  
They ought to reverence, meet they that old curse,  
To beg their bread, and feel eternal winter.  
there's difference 'twixt liberty, and licence.  NOSE. 
Why if it be not that, let it be this then  
(For since you grant us freedom, we will hold it,)  
Let's have the giddy world turned the heels upward,  
And sing a rare black Sanctus, on his head,  
Of all things out of order.  EIES. 
No, the Man  
I' the moon dance a Coranto, his bush  
At's back, a fire; and his dog piping Lachrimae.  EARS. 
Or let's have all the people in an uproar,  
None knowing, why, or to what end: and in  
The midst of all, start up an old mad woman  
Preaching of patience.  NOSE. 
No, no, I'd ha' this-  EIES. 
What?  FAME. 
Any thing.  NOSE. 
That could be monstrous:  
Enough, I mean. A Babel of wild humours.  EARS. 
I, all disputing of all things they know not,  EIES. 
And talking of all men they never heard of,  EARS. 
And all together by the ears o' the sudden,  EIES. 
And, when the matter is at hottest, then  
All fall a sleep.  FAME. 
Agree among yourselves,  
And what it is you'd have, I'll answer you.  EIES. 
O, that we shall never do.  EARS. 
No, never agree.  NOSE. 
Not upon what. Something that is unlawful.  EARS 
I, or unreasonable.  EYES 
Or impossible.  NOSE. 
Let it be uncivil enough, you hit us right.  EARS 
And a great noise.  EYES. 
To little, or no purpose.  NOSE. 
And if there be some mischief, 'twill become it.  EYES. 
But see, there be no cause, as you will answer it.  FAME. 
These are mere Monsters.  NOSE. 
I, all the better.  FAME. 
You do abuse the Time, these are fit freedoms  
For lawless apprentices, on a Shrove-tuesday,  
When they compel the Time to serve their riot:  
For drunken Wakes, and strutting Beare-baytings,  
That savour only of their own abuses.  EYES. 
Why, if not those, than something to make sport.  EARS 
We only hunt for novelty, not truth.  FAME. 
I'll fit you, though the Time faintly permit it.  The second Antimasque of Tumblers, and jugglers, who abuse the Curious, and drive them away: led in by the Cat and fiddle. FAME. 
Why now they are kindly used, like such Spectators,  
That know not what they would have. Commonly,  
The Curious are ill natured, and like flies,  
Seek Times corrupted part to blow upon:  
But may the sound ones live with fame, and honour,  
Free from the molestation of these Infects,  
Who being fled, Fame now pursues her errand.  Loud MUSIQVE. To which the whole Scene opens, where Saturn sitting with Venus is discovered above, and certain Votaries coming forth below, which are the Chorus. FAME. 
For you, great King, to whom the Time doth owe  
All his respects, and reverence, behold  
How Saturn, urged at request of Love,  
Prepares the object to the place to night.  
Within yond darkness, Venus' bath found out  
That Hecate (as she is Queen of shades)  
Keeps certain glories of the Time obscured,  
There, for herself alone to gaze upon,  
As she did once the fair Endymion.  
These, Time hath promised at Love's suit to free,  
As being fit to adorn the age,  
By you restored on earth, most like his own:  
And fill this world of beauty here, your Court.  
To which his bounty, see, how men prepare  
To fit their votes below, and thronging come  
With longing passion to enjoy th' effect!  
Hark, it is Love gins to Time. Expect.  VENUS. 
Beside, that it is done for Love,  
It is a work, great Time, will prove  
Thy honour, as men's hopes above.  SATURN. 
If Love be pleased, so am I:  
For Time could never yet deny  
What Love did ask, if Love knew why.  VOTARIES. 
She knew, and hath expressed it now,  
And so doth every public vow  
That heard her why, and waits thy how.  SATURN. 
You shall not long expect; with ease  
The things come forth, are borne to please:  
Look, have you seen such lights as these?  The Masquers are discourered, and that, which obscured them, vanisheth. VOTARIES. 
These, These must sure some wonders be!  CHORUS. 
O, what a glory 'tis to see  
men's wishes, Time, and Love agree!  A pause. There SATURN and VENUS pass away, and the Masquers descend. CHORUS. 
What grief, or envy had it been,  
That these, and such had not been seen,  
but still obscured in shade!  
Who are the glories of the Time,  
Of youth, and feature too, the prime,  
And for the light were made?  VOTARIES. 
1 Their very number, how it takes!  
2 What harmony their presence makes!  
3 How they inflame the place!  CHORUS. 
Now they are nearer seen, and viewed;  
For whom could Love have better sued?  
or Time have done the grace?  Here to a loud Music, they march into their figure, and dance their ENTRY, or first DANCE. After which. VENUS. 
The night could not these glories miss,  
Good Time, I hope, is ta'en with this.  SATURN. 
If Time were not, I am sure Love is.  
Between us it shall be no strife:  
For now 'tis Love, gives Time his life.  VOTARIES. 
Let Time then so with Love conspire,  
as straight be sent into the court  
A little Cupid, armed with fire,  
Attended by a jocund Sport,  
To breed delight, and a desire  
of being delighted in the nobler sort.  SATURN. 
The wish is crowned, as soon as made.  VOTARIES. 
And CUPID conquers,  he doth invade.  
His Victories of lightest trouble prove.  
For there is never labour, where is Love..  Then, follows the main DANCE, which done, CUPID, with the SPORT, goes out. CUPID. 
Take breath a while, young Bloods, to bring  
Your forces up, whilst we go sing  
Fresh charges, to the Beauties here.  To the Masquers. SPORT. 
Or, if they charge you, do not fear,  
Though they be better armed than you:  
It is but standing the first view,  
And then they yield.  CUPID. 
Or quit the field.  SPORT. 
Nay, that they'll never do,  
They'll rather fall upon the place  
Then suffer such disgrace.  
You are but Men at best, they say,  
And they from those ne'er ran away.  Pause. CUPID. To the King. 
You, Sir, that are the Lord of Time,  
Receive it not as any crime  
'Gainst Majesty, that Love and Sport  
To night have entered in your Court.  SPORT. 
Sir, doubt him more of some surprise  
Upon yourself. He hath his eyes.  
You are the noblest object here,  
And 'tis for you alone I fear:  
For here are Ladies, that would give  
A brave reward, to make Love live  
Well, all his life, for such a draught.  
And therefore, look to every shaft,  
The Wag's a Deacon in his Craft.  Pause. CUPID. To the Lords. 
My Lords, the Honours of the Crown,  
Put off your sourness, do not frown,  
Bid cares departed, and business hence:  
A little, for the Time dispense.  SPORT. 
Trust nothing that the Boy let's fall,  
My Lords, he hath plots upon you all.  
A pensioner unto your wives,  
To keep you in uxorious gives,  
And so your sense to fascinate,  
To make you quit all thought of state,  
His amorous questious to debate.  
But, hear his Logic, he will prove  
There is no business, but to be in love.  Pause CUPID. 
The words of Sport, my Lords, and course.  Pause 
Your Ladies yet, will not think worse  To the Ladies. 
Of love for this,, They shall command  
My Bow, my Quiver, and my Hand.  SPORT. 
What, here to stand  
and kill the Flies?  
Alas, thy service they despise.  
One Beauty here, hath in her eyes,  
More shafts then from thy bow ere flew,  
Or that poor quiver knew.  
These Dames  
They need not love's, they ' have Natures flames.  CUPID. 
I see that Beauty, that you so report.  SPORT. 
Cupid, you must not point in Court,  
Where live so many of a sort.  
Of Harmony these learned their speech,  
The Graces did them footing teach,  
And, at the old Idalian bralls,  
They danced your Mother down, she calls.  CUPID. 
Arm, arm then all.  SPORT. 
Young Bloods come on,  
And charge: Let every Man take one.  CUPID. 
And try his fate.  SPORT. 
These are fair wars,  
And will be carried without scars.  CUPID. 
A joining, but of feet, and hands,  
Is all the Time, and Love commands.  SPORT. 
Or if you do their gloves off strip,  
Or taste the nectar of the lip:  
See, so you temper your desires,  
For kisses, that ye suck not fires.  The REVELS follow, which ended, the CHORUS appear again, and DIANA descends to HIPPOLYTUS. CHORUS. 
The Courtly strife is done, it should appear,  
Between the Youths, and Beauties of the year,  
We hope that now these lights will know their sphere,  
And strive hereafter to shine ever here:  
Like brightest Planets, still to move  
In th'eye of Time, and orbs of Love..  DIANA. 
Hippolytus, Hippolytus.  HIPPOLYTUS. 
Diana?  DIANA. 
Shee.  
Be ready you, or SHAFALUS,  
To wait on me.  HIPPOLTUS. 
We ever be.  DIANA. 
Your Goddess hath been wronged to night,  
By Love's report unto the Time.  HIPPOLYTUS. 
The injury itself will right  
Which only Fame hath made a crime.  
For Time is wise,  
And hath his ears as perfect as his eyes.  SATURN. 
Who's that descends? Diana?  VOTARIES. 
Yes.  VENUS. 
By like her troop she hath begun to miss.  SATURN. 
Let's meet, and question what her errand is.  HIPPOLYTUS. 
She will prevent thee, Saturn, not t' excuse  
Herself unto thee, rather to complain  
That thou and Venus both should so abuse  
The name of Diana, as to entertain  
A thought, that she had purpose to defraud  
The Time, of any glories that were his:  
To do Time honour rather, and applaud  
His worth, hath been her study,  DIANA. 
And it is.  
I called these youth's forth, in their blood, and prime,  
Out of the honour, that I bore their parts;  
To make them fit so to serve the Time  
By labour, riding, and those ancient arts,  
That first enabled men unto the wars,  
And furnished Heaven with so many Stars:  HIPPOLYTUS. 
As Perseus, Castor, Pollux, and the rest,  
Who were of Hunters first, of Men the best,  
Whose shades do yet remain within yond groves,  
Themselves there sporting with their nobler loves:  DIANA. 
And so may these do, if the Time give lean.  SATURN. 
 Diane's purpose we do now conceive,  
And yield thereto.  VENUS. 
And so doth Love..  VOTARIES. 
All votes do in one circle move.  CHORUS. 
Turn Hunters then,  
again.  
Hunting, it is the noblest exercise,  
Makes men laborious, active, wise,  
Brings health, and doth the spirits delight,  
It help's the hearing, and the sight:  
It teacheth Arts that never slip  
The memory, good Horsemanship,  
Search, sharpness, courage, and defence,  
And chaseth all ill habits thence.  
Turn Hunters then,  
again,  
But not of Men.  
Fellow his ample,  
And just example,  
That hates all chase of malice, and of blood:  
And studies only ways of good,  
To keep soft peace in breath.  
Man should not hunt Mankind to death,  
But strike the enemies of Man;  
Kill vices if you can:  
They are your wildest beasts,  
And when they thickest fall, you make the Gods true feasts:  
The end.