Arsy-varsy: OR, The Second Martyrdom of the RUMP.  
To the Tune of, The Blind Beggar of Bednall-green.  

1.  
MY Muse, to prevent lest an after-clap come,  
If the wind should once more turn about for the Bum,  
As a preface of honour, and not as a frump  
First with a sir-reverence ushers the Rump.   

2.  
I shallnot dispute whether longtailes of Kent,  
Or Papists this name of disgrace did invent;  
Whose Legend of lies, to defame us the more,  
Hath entailed on us Rumps ne'er heard on before.   

3.  
But not on its Pedigree longer to think,  
(For the more it is stirred the more it will stink)  
'Tis agreed the Rump's first report in the Town  
Did arise from the wooden invention of Brown.   

4.  
Old Oliver's nose had taken in snuff,  
When it sat long ago, some unsavoury pu 〈…〉  
Then up went the Rump, and was firked to the qu●ck,  
But it settled in spite of the teeth of poor Dick.   

5.  
Then the Knight of the Pestle, King Lambert, and Vane  
With a sceptre of Iron did over it reign:  
But the Rump soon resettled, and to their disgrace  
Like Excrements voided them out of the place.   

6.  
It did now, like a Truant's well-disciplined Bum,  
With the Rod of affliction harder become;  
Or else like the Image in Daniel it was,  
Whose head was of Gold, but whose tail was of brass.   

7.  
It endured the first heat, and proved no starter,  
But sung in the midst of the flames like a Martyr  
And whisked the tail like a terrible Farter,  
And sounded most cheerfully, Vive Sir Arthur.   

8.  
But the next fire Ordeall put into a dump,  
Sir Orlando the furious chief joint of the Rump,  
That he looked like the picture of Richard the Third,  
Or like an ejected and frost-bitten to—   

9  
'Tis said that his Durindana he drew,  
And a Wight on the Road most manfully slew;  
But, pardoned by Charles, made good what they tell us  
How ill'tis to save a thief from the Gallows.   

10.  
Being now to be burned, he soon did expire,  
For he was but a flash, and would quickly take fire,  
So that their fuel upon him to spend,  
What was it but Coals to Newcastle to send?   

11.  
To bring 'em to th' stake as in order they lie,  
Harry Martin the next place must occupy;  
'Twas expected in vain he should blaze, for he swore,  
That he had been burnt to the stumps before.   

12.  
Tom Scot for the Bum most stiffly did stand,  
Though once by a Bum he was foully trapand;  
But Time and his Office of Secretary  
Had learned him his business more private to carry.   

13.  
Some thought he arrived at his dignity first,  
By being so well in iniquity versed,  
The mystery of which he hath practised of late  
In his function, which was, to be bawd to the S 〈…〉   

14.  
Hob Morley in silence did suffer the loss  
Of his Rump, and with patience took up the C 〈…〉  
That to see him so findged and so scorched you w 〈…〉 ear  
No camel more meekly his burden could bear.   

15.  
The Speaker was thought to the Rump to be true  
Because like a Part at the first he burned blue,  
But straight he was cunningly seen to retire,  
For fear to endanger the Rolls in the fire.   

16.  
St. John a mortal of flesh and of blood,  
Swore by St. 
* He hath a great kindness for that Saint, not because of his Keys, (which he knows he shall never make use of) but in reference to Peterborough Minster, the stones of which built his new House.  Peter the example was good:  
So facing about and shifting his station,  
He turned o'er a new leaf in St. John's Revelation.   

17.  
Harry Nevil that looks like a Mahomet's pigeon,  
Accused to be of a stateman's Religion,  
Is left to his choice what process he'll have,  
To be burnt for an Atheist, or hanged for a Knave.   

18.  
Now stop thy nose, Reader, for Atkins does come,  
That shame to the Breeches as well as the Bum:  
To wish he were burnt were an idle desire,  
For he comes provided to shit out the fire.   

19  
But lest he without a Companion should be,  
Here's Lisle that comes next stinks worser than he;  
So foully corrupt, you may placed in your Creed,  
Such a Rump 〈◊〉 alone such a Fistula breed.   

20.  
Poor Ludlow was bogged in Ireland of late,  
And to purg-him self came to the Rump of the State;  
But gravely they told him he had acted amiss,  
When he sought to betray the Rump with a kiss.   

21.  
Ned Harby was sieve an herb John in the pot,  
Yet could he not scape the dysasterous lot:  
Scarce churched of the Gout was the trusty old Squire,  
But he hoped from the frying-pan into the fire.   

22.  
Robin Andrews was laid on last as they tell us  
For a Log to keep down the rest of his fellows;  
Though he spent on the City like one of the roisters  
Each morning his 
* Some Authors hold it was but three halfpennies, but Poetry will not admit of broken numbers.  twopence in Sack and in Oysters.   

23.  
Next Praise-God, although of the Rump he was none,  
Was for his Petition burnt to the Bare-bone:  
So Praise-God and Rump, like true Joseph's together,  
Did suffer; but Praise-God lost the more 
* Courteous Reader, he is a Leather-seller  Leather.   

24.  
There's Lawson another dag-lock of the tail,  
That the fire to avoid to the water did sail;  
And in godly simplicity means (as they say)  
To manage the Stern, though the Rump's out of play.   

25.  
But Overton most with wonder doth seize us,  
By securing of Hull for no less than Christ Jesus,  
Hoping (as it by the story appears)  
To be ●ere his Lieutenant for one thousand years.   

26.  
Lord Monson? Oh Venus! what do you hear?  
I little thought you were a Rumper I swear:  
But an 〈…〉 Lord will thus far avail,  
He w 〈…〉 cloak to cover the tail.   

27.  
To 〈…〉 Mr. Salsbury's come,  
With 〈…〉 Gold that fall from the Bum;  
●ure 'twas 〈…〉 eccor, for I must tell ye,  
It smell as were turning to th' Alderman's jelly.   

28.  
Brother Pembrock comes last, and does not disdain,  
Though de●pis'd by the world, to bear up the train;  
But after new lights so long he did run,  
That they brought him to Bethlehem before they had done. 
Not Bethlehem in Judea, (for he is none of the Magi.)    

29.  
Thus the Foxes of Samson that carried a Brand  
〈◊〉 their ● to destroy and to burn up the Land;  
〈◊〉 the flam 〈…〉 eye had kindred themselves do expire,  
〈◊〉 the D 〈…〉 i've them brimstone unto their fire.