ADVICE to the PAINTER, From a Satirical Night-MUSE, FOR Limning to the Life the Witnesses Against the Right Honourable, Anthony, Earl of Shaftsbury.  
PAINTER, Draw near, Draw here the leering Look,  
Of th' Bygot Bloodhounds when they Swore on th' Book,  
Licking their Lips, and Tantalising for  
Moore Noble Blood than was th' poor Joiner's Gore:  
Limn to the Life, how looked that Breathing Devil  
(Who Damned the Gospel for the grandest Evil)  
When Sworn upon't, and th' fame Blasphemous Tool,  
Would prove, THAT God (by whom he Swore) a Fool:  
He'd need to Think so, and God's Book a Fable,  
As did the POPE (his Father) Curs'dly Babble;  
Lest th' Book should Curse Him, and God prove so Wise  
As to Repay with Wrath his Perjuries:  
Next, Limn that Frontless Blade, who Boldly said,  
That Hyde, and Hallifax, would see Him paid  
Nobly, that Durst this Noble EARL Traduce  
With TREASON Home, as if th' Old Say, in Use,  
From Hell, Hull, Hallifax, He would turn Thus,  
From Hell, Hyde, Hallifax, Deliver us:  
Surely, those Noble Lords will Vindicate  
Their Honours, from his Slanders sublimate:  
PAINTER, go on, show Thy Dexterity  
In Limning th' Rest of that Rascality:  
Those Sons of Beli-al, Knights of the Post,  
Incarnate devils, Jesabels' Suborned Hoft,  
Against our Naboth; To remove that Rub.  
Which stops their Running Bowls, their Wits they Club,  
Charging this Loyal Lord with Blasphemy  
‛ Gainlt God and King, Treason and Treachery:  
PAINT, All those Miscreants, as Belching out  
(From their Black Slabering Mouth, and Snotty Snout)  
Their Thunder-Thumping Lies, and Oaths so sharp  
As would shout through a Marble Wall, Had th' Harp  
And th' Harrow Hanged (their Doom) together Better  
They'd pierced our PEER, for Words as well as Letter.  
Paint them with Pockets large, well lined with Gold,  
(The price of Innocents' Blood, Bought and Sold)  
Which with its Splendour Dazzles Eyes, and which  
Mere Mercenary Mortals doth Bewitch:  
It but one ANGEL could make Balaams' Ass  
Speak, then what may not Many bring to pass?  
Yea, goodly GUINNYS, Double Angels All  
And more than so, able to Conjure small,  
Yea, and Great Devils up, make ASSES Speak,  
And Swear, so far as th' Devil's Arse in Peak:  
As Beelzebuh; that Prince of Hies, them Fly-blows,  
Which makes men think, they're all the Devils By-blows.  
ONE Swears this EARL aimed to Depose the King,  
And Enthrone Buckingham, a likely Thing!  
Another Swears, This Earl would Crown Himself,  
Yet ALL Deposed, He's for a COMMONWEALTH:  
Lo, th' Inconsistency, of th' Evidence,  
Both with itself, with Truth and Common Sense,  
Like the False Witnesses against our Lord,  
Which could not with Themselves, nor Truth accord.  
Confounded Thus, those Babel-builders be,  
Their Testimonies plainly Disagree:  
If He designed to set up Buckingham,  
Then to Enthrone himself must be a Shame;  
For a Republic if he did pursue,  
Then neither of the former can hold True:  
Right Babels-Lrats, whose Tongues divided are,  
Whose Legs, as well as Language Interfare:  
Thus far their Impudence boldly bore-up,  
Mark Painter here, what 'twas that made them stoop,  
A London Jury's (not like jezreel,  
Which found the Bill through haughty Jezabel  
'Gainst Faultless Naboth) Cross-Int'rogatories,  
Confound those Pests in their Repugnant Stories.  
This Wealth, Wise, Sagacious JURY well  
Weighed every Circumstance. They could not sell  
The Life of such a Peerless PEER at th'Rate  
Of shabby sham's of Mercenary Fate:  
Improbable and Contradicting Things  
O'rcrules them, and the IGNORAMUS brings;  
Which was Received with most loud Acclamations  
Though Lying Thompson calls them Sibilations:  
Painter, Draw here the Eel-pye, that ('tis said)  
Those Witnesses at Fountain Tavein had  
Sent them, wherein eight Ropes wrapped up like Eels  
Were ready there both for their Necks and Heels:  
A fit Collation for those Rogues in Grain,  
Who Durst th' Escutcheon of this Earl so slain.  
Draw next, the Court's broke up, and th' Evidence  
Would Sneak away without the People's Sense,  
Had they not feared a Shower of Stones would brain them,  
But th' Gallows claims its Right, th' Sheriff must Man them,  
Coaches those Beasts, while he did more than's Due,  
Lackeys this Damn d (his Coach-defiling) Crew,  
Conveys them to th' Savoy their Sanctuary,  
Where their strong Guard's the Red-Coat Soldiery:  
There must we leave them Lodged, till Tyburn take them,  
With its Tippets, if God's Grace do still forsake them.  
Then turn thy Table Painter, take in time,  
Thy liveliest Colours, thy Vermilion prime;  
Be brisk to Limn to th' Life this Lord's Enlargement,  
After so many Months of's Tower Confinement:  
Were th' Bells and Bonfires his Congratulation,  
With Shouts at th' IGNORAMUS Declaration:  
What more would have been for his Welcome Home,  
Had not preventing Prudence Timely come:  
Disdaining to be Popular. He'll not offend  
The Court, or Country, neither Foe nor Friend:  
He hath enough, that hath but men's affections,  
Without their Bells, Bonfires and Acclamations:  
These are but Complimental Things (the Heart is all  
To God and Men) and to great Minds but small:  
Show, How this Peer is Handed to His House  
Whence th'Villains Swore Him, and his Neck to th'Noose:  
Once more God brings him off, to's Habitation,  
God make him more to save both king and Nation;  
Gain the King's Favour, and Advance His Crown  
Sat at His Helm, a Pilot of Renown.   

LONDON, Printed for Charles Leigh, 1681.