A CONFERENCE BETWEEN THE GHOST OF THE RUMP AND TOM TEL-TROTH. Together with her sad Complaint of that dismal and total Eclipse that is like to fall out on the 20th day of April, 1660.  GHOST 

Now like a ghastly spirit I do appear,  
Who once in Pomp, this Commonwealth did Steer  
Which way I pleased, But now at last I wots,  
No Voice is for me, or my daughter Scot  
To sit. Our falls decreed, we must retire  
From hence to flames of ever burning fire.   
Printed for Mistress Nurse the Rumps late Matron, and are to be sold at Kings-land-Court near the Bishopric of Durham.   

A CONFERENCE BETWEEN THE Ghost of Mris. RUMP, and her Adversary Tom Telltruth.  Ghost. 
WHat art thou that dar'st presume to appear on this sacred ground? whence come you thus booted and spurred, I should known you, as being formerly acquainted with you, but 'tis so long that I have quite forgot thy name, pray let me crave it.  Tom. 
In the name of blackness what art thou that thus disturb'st the Peace of an bonest passenger, by thy ghastly countenance and shrill voice? Surely I am in England! or else I'm much mistaken, but this thy usage makes me doubt, for that I have so long been banished from my Native Country; Pray take compassion on a wand'ring stranger, and lead him not astray, he was sent to England, & if it be so that you prove a happy guide, his name shall soon be discovered to you.  Ghost. 
'tis England, England! which I and my confederates have usurped the Government of, and should have none still, had not the Siren voice of a cursed Judas betrayed me. But pray let me know your name?  Tom. 
Why then to put you out of doubt, my name is Tom Tel-troth, that have been banished for conscience sake out of my Native Country above eleven years.  Ghost. 
Oh Tom, it seems than you have a time wherein you may show your face which thus long we have compelled you to hid.  Tom. 
You compelled me to hid my face, why pray, what are you that have compelled me so much?  Ghost. 
Why have you then forgotten your Sovereign Rump that cast you into your long Exzile.  Tom. 
I know well enough there was the Fag end of a Parliament set at the Stearn at Westminster when I was forced to fly, but little thought I they had removed their Senate house from thence to this place. But pray tell me are you that Power (Rump as you call yourself) if so i'll assure you something is in the wind: have you of late been humbled for your sins, or what's the matter you have chosen such a lowly house to sit in such Malencholly weeds to adorn you withal.  Ghost. 
Full sore against our wills are we confined to this station, we nourished a bird to pluck out our own eyes, who under pretence of remvoing a late obstruction couched upon us, hath totally extirpated us from our habitation, vile Traitor and disloyal Subject as he is, we come to thee for judgement, and if as truth thou art thou wilt but Cohere to us and be so prevalent with the English People, as if thou pleasest we know thou canst, we will not tell thee how well we will reward thee.  Tom. 
And are you met withal at last: and have you no place to settle your Rump upon? ho! ho! it makes my worship smile, I did think as much that your Ambitious wings at last either would be clipped, melted, singed, or subjected to some other disastrous chance, and are you caught in one of your own traps, a Jest worthy to be filled upon the Records of Will Summer.  Ghost. 
Nay prithee Tom (for now I can think of your name, for my own ends) do not flout so: you may endanger my health: for I am late escaped from the perils of a hard and terrible teeming if ever pity moved you, have compassion on a poor distressed weak despised friendless Rump.  Tom. 
Why what would you have me do for you?  Ghost. 
Only help me up the stairs in Westminster Hall that lead you know whether, for I am so weak I am not able to stand, much less to go alone, and notwithstanding my weakness for necessitas non legem habit if I take not possession again before the 20. of April next, I lose my right by the Laws of the Nation and am undone for ever; therefore good Tom pity the case of a poor sick and weak Rump.  Tom. 
Alas I cannot contribute any thing to your relief, for if I should put forth any thing to vindicate your innocency and harmlesness, and witness against the illegallity of your exturpation, the people would stone me for a false and lying prophet, and not receive it as the Oracle of Tom-teltroth.  Ghost. 
Well hazard that, we know the simple meaning of the people so well, that if you will but register us in your table book we shall imediatelv be invested with the Robes of Saints again, by the honest simple people of England.  Tom. 
Well Admit I should play the Doctor for once and make your feeble Rump sit again, what can you say for yourselves for demeaning yourselves in your office if you chance to nestle thereagain?  Ghost. 
Oh we will become the mildest of Rulers, and the mercifullest of Governors, we'll ease the Nation of all the heavy burdens we have brought upon her, which none can remove so well as we have laid them on, we'll vanish oppression and covetousness far from our Land, and utterly blot them out of our remembrance and will make glad the heart of all men from the Plowmen to the Merchant, and make her a Land that shall flow with milk, and trading shall flow in so great an abundauce that men shall not be able to find places to hoard up their treasure, all these and what else may be desired will we perform. Honest Tom play thou the man and we care not.  Tom. 
Nay but hold a little, two words goes to a bargain, I do not intent to buy a pig in a poak neither: you have made a very fair speech and when I have construed it I can say something to you, you say you will become the cruelest of Rulers and the unmercifullest of Governors or Tyrants, you will ease the Nation of all the heavy Burdens that is of all the money, plate, gold, Jewels and whatsoever riches she has saved from your ravenous and insatiate paws, because none can remove them so well as you, that you mean by your new found ways of Sequestration, Taxes, imposition, Excise, unreasonable Customs, Monopolies and other new found fangles of your own brains, you will establish oppression and covetousness in a far greater light in the Land then ever, and most vigorously revive them in the Book of your remembrance, will you make glad the hearts of all men from the Ploughman to the Merchant, viz. such as are joints of the Rump but none else, but will make sorrow prove the sops of both the Church and State's man, and give your fanatic purity such a large liberty of conscience that without dispute then the Churches indeed shall suffer Martyrdom, and the Bells shall serve for Coin to cheat the people whilst you follow the rule of Haslerig and Preduaux in hoarding up the good mettal-baggs, the State's man let you alone to plague and punish for he shall live by the sustenance of Gall and bitterness which shall be all the milk and honey shall flow in the Land, from your store houses by trading, Is meant the Lobstertorean trading with the people upon free quarter whereby their gains will be so great that they may put the same in their eyes and see never the worse, and thereby they will be (I must confess) much puzzled to find out such small places of hoarding up as their gained treasure will require, and at last you conclude very notably all this, and what else may be desired you will perform, 'tis not at all by me doubted but that you will perform the contempt now, how do you think if I should take the pains to Register you and set you forth in your colours the people will be either so mad and foolish to trust or believe you, therefore rest yourselves contented for believe and you have had a fair time of it 10. or 11. years my masters what have ye no reason at all: there's reason in roasting of Eggs, pray let me go for I fear if you detain me any longer upon this helpless and vain account I shall at last learn the Language of the Beast, you see 'tis dark and I them a stranger in this Land, so that I scarce know my own father when I met him, he has so altered his tongue since I have saw him last and to tell you the truth, I have never a penny in my purse to buy a light, and I fear you will hardly afford me one out of your bounteous negerallitie therefore it is but reason you grant me a conductor and none so fit as Atkins that I may smell my way like a bloodhound what say ye Gentlewomen can you grant my request.  Ghost. 
I grant it only let me sprinkle you with a little holy water, which it may be may purge you from your filthiness, and open your eyes to have a right reflextion on me, for your last exposition has only grounded a conceit in me, that the change of the Climate has form you and intolerable Lunatic, nurse Haslerig bring me hither a Bottle of sweet water of Mrs. Scots own distilling that I may make this churl an aderifferous Gentleman: Quick, you see 'tis late.  Nurse. 
Here's the Bottle pray sprinkle him to the purpose or not at all.  Ghost. 
Nay Tom: What wilt not have a dram you know not the excellency thereof.  Tom. 
Pray tell not me of your poisoning stuff d'ye think I them mad to be charmed: if you will grant my request if not i'll groble out my way i'th' dark following the sent of this thick Vapour.  
Ye cold A—st Rump that sat so long for nought had you your Egg to perfection brought you had not thus forlorn been left god wots to the mercy of the rope and slaughtering knot and farewell for I came but to tell you a few true Jests of your own Coining.  
One of the Ghosts Emissaries. Oh what a wonderful thing is this that men should know all our actions, and dive so into the secret of hearts to tell what I did in my life; Can better Lipsolve been used than I applied for the salving up the sore of the Commonwealth's destruction, and yet in his construction he should hint so netlingly and truly at every particular point of our intentions, so well veiled by me, but I cry ye mercy his name is Telltruth, I did not think he had his name for nothing, for had he been a thousand time in thee Mrs. Rump, he could not have spoken more prophetically than he has, well: I see there's no hopes of recovery i'll return to my infernal habitation, for it's in vain to prosecute the Design any further for a hundred to one, but he has blazed the truth of all before now, and has given all men time to provide for encountering us.  GHOST. 

Before i'll go to my infernal place  
Of torment, i'll adventure here a space,  
And like the Phoenix will at last expire  
And build a nest shall make the world admire,  
Of pure refined glister yellow Gol●,  
And choicest Gems which now my Coffers hold,  
And there i'll flutter with Icarius wings,  
Upon my Nest till all those glittering things,  
By bright Sols Beams shall swiftly opperate,  
My Rumpish body there shall penetrate;  
And make me drop from th' top of th' lofty Tree,  
Such Ashes, that a Phoenix like to me  
Shall soon appear; With that a horrid cry  
She gave, and made the very Earth to fly  
About, and straight at least a thousand more  
Black Friends appeared the like ne'er seen before,  
With thundering, lightning, flashes from the Sky  
And Smoking stinks, Tom's valour for to try,  
Which Tom beholding, in a grivous fright  
Departing nimbly bid the Ghost Good-night.   
Finis Coronet Opus.