The Crafty MISS, Or, An Excise-man well fitted.  
Being a true Relation of an Excise-man who lately in the County of Kent, had received the sum of fourscore pounds, and lighting into the Company of a Crafty Miss who gave him the Chouse for it all; and riding away with his Gelding, left in the stead a Mare which she had stole; for which Mare he was arraigned, and narrowly escaped the severe penalty of the Law: which may be a sufficient warning to all Excisemen far and near, to amend their lives, to hate a Miss, and love their Wives.  
To the Tune of, Moggies Jealousy.  

THere was an Excise-man so fine,  
road into the County of Kent,  
And there he received much Coin,  
for that very business he went:  
He met with a jolly brave Miss.  
her beauty was fair to behold,  
But she gave him a judas kiss,  
and showed him a trick for his Gold.   

She rod on a bonny brave Mare,  
he rid on a Gelding also,  
He whispered a word in her ear.  
strait way to an Inn they did go  
He was of a pretty Condition,  
he called her the joy of his life,  
And then without any suspicion,  
they passed for Husband and Wife.   

They set up the Mare and the Gelding,  
and called for a Supper with speed,  
Their Wine it was plentily filled in,  
and lovingly then they agreed:  
O than they were hearty merry,  
their joys did begin to abound,  
They drank up full brimmers of sherry  
and the Glass it went merrily round,   

He had not the sight of his folly,  
fond love had so blinded his eyes,  
O then he was hearty jolly,  
he thought he had gotten a prize,  
Then whilst they most lovingly greeted,  
he thought he was certainly bless,  
But ne'er was Excise-man so Cheated,  
O now comes the Cream of the jest.   

He pulled out a Purse full of Gold,  
which he had received for Excise,  
And said to his Landlord, behold,  
keep this till next morning we rise;  
His Miss she did call him her Honey,  
and strait to embracing they fall,  
But her mind still run on the money,  
to give him the Chouse for it all   

And while he was snoring and sleeping,  
she thought it no time to delay.  
But giving the Landlord a Meeting▪  
O thus unto him she did say:  
My husband he has not the power,  
to rise although it be day,  
Yet he hath appointed an hour  
to pay all this money away.   

The time doth begin to expire,  
then prithee now saddle his Steed,  
And Landlord I do you desire,  
to fetch me the Money with speed:  
The Innkeeper he did believe it,  
and fetch her the fourscore pound,  
And she was as glad to receive it,  
she neither spared Horseflesh nor ground   

But when the Excise-man did waken,  
and found that his Miss she was fled,  
And seeing himself thus forsaken,  
lest he had been sleeping a Bed,  
O then how he rapped and thoundered,  
he was in a Choleric heat;  
His Pockets was pilleged and plundered  
he found he had met with a Cheat.   

The Landlord the Chamber did enter,  
and bowing himself to the ground,  
Sir have you forgot where you sent her  
to pay in the fourscore pound?  
The Landlord no sooner had said it,  
but then he was daunted straightway  
But yet for the sake of his Credit,  
O never a word he would say.   

But then he was fretting and petting.  
he had ne'er a penny of Cole,  
His Miss rid away with the Gelding,  
and left him a Mare she had stole:  
For which they did soon apprehend him,  
in sorrow he then did complain,  
For they to a Prison did send him,  
where he did till Sizes remain.   

And there he was reigned at the Bar,  
besides all the Money he lost.  
O now you Excise-men beware,  
you see in your Courting you're crossed  
The Bill it had like to been found,  
because he had called for his Wife▪  
Is cost him many a pound,  
and had like to had● cost him his life.   

This was in Rochester City,  
the truth you may certainly find,  
The people afforded no pity,  
but said he was served in his kind:  
But now the Excise-man is sorry  
that ever he met with this jade,  
For sure she had learned her jurry,  
she lacked but a stock to her Trade   
FINIS.