A DIALOGUE Between two Church of England-Men Concerning Matters of RELIGION, As set forth in the PULPIT.  Francis. 
HOw now, Neighbour William, you have put on a very Solemn Face this Morning; pray, what makes you so Sober?  William. 
Oh! I have had my Head full all this Night of nothing but Fire and Faggots; and when I awaked this Morning, I could not persuade myself to open my Eyes, or stir Hand or Foot, thinking I had been fastened to a Stake in Smithfield. And the cold Sweat is not off me yet.  Fran. 
This was a very Unseasonable Dream, considering the Peace we now enjoy. But what should raise these Fancies in your Head at this time of the day?  Will. 
I can't tell, unless it was the Relics of a Sermon I heard the last Sunday, in which were made several severe Reflections upon the Papists; they were not named, yet every Body knew the meaning. And I believe this has raised all the Frightful Notions, and horrid Ideas I had in the time of the Popish Plot. And to tell you the Truth, these thoughts have been the subject of my Meditation for these Two Hours, and I cannot tell how to get them out of my Head.  Fran. 
Fie, fie. All this in a Dream was pardonable; but Awake and Serious, and still to go on with these Phantoms, reflects upon your Judgement. Can you fear a Thunderbolt, when there's never a Cloud to be seen in the Sky?  Will. 
Ay, but the Gospel must be fulfilled. Don't you consider, that our Ministers preach to us the Gospel? And have not they, these many years, been showing unto us, with the Bible in their Hands, the Cruelty and Bloodiness of the Papists, their Secret Conspiracies, and Open Violence, their Treacheries and Falsehood, their Murders and Assassinations. And when I reflect, that at this day, we have so many Papists on every side of us, Papists in Power, Papists Counselors, Papists Commanders, Papists Justices, so many Papists Soldiers, every one a Sword by his side; and what is worst of all, such a Number of Plotting Jesuits walking the Streets, all in Disguise, that no Body can tell how or when to get out of their way: how can I think of this without trembling? Well, I shall certainly never dare to go to bed again without a double Guard at my Door: And whensoever I lie down, I must expect to rise with my Throat cut.  Fran. 
You begin to raise the vapours in my Brain: And now you have put into my head, what the Papists are even according to our Gospel, I can't tell how to think myself safe amongst them. If any one should have told us Seven Years ago, that within so short a time we should have come to be under their Government, could we possibly have survived the News? Would not this voice of Terror and Death have left us without Spirit or Life? We were then, I remember, afraid of the very Name and Shadow of a Papist; and could we imagine it possible for us at any time to live in Peace and Safety, with their Hand, and Sword over our Heads?  Will. 
No certainly, if there was any Truth in our Gospel, this could not be possible.  Fran. 
Ay; but now I think on't; there's no Gospel to be believed contrary to our Senses. And therefore since we See and Feel ourselves in Peace and Safety amidst so many Papists; we must not take those Sermons in a Literal Sense, which told us so much of the Bloodiness of the Papists, and that there could be no Peace expected for Protestants under such a Government.  Will. 
This would be some Relief to an afflicted Soul, were this Doctrine a Church of England Doctrine. But I fear you have a mind to flatter me into a little Comfort, by some vain imagination of your own.  Fran. 
No, you may rely upon what I tell you; I have heard it from Dr. Stilling fleet, Tillotson, Tennison, Sherloc, Pellin, and the rest of our Ministry, that when any thing in the Gospel contradicts our Senses and Reason, it is not to be taken in a Literal Sense. And do you now apply this Principle to our present Circumstances, and see how far it may work upon you. Have not we been under a Prince of that Persuasion for above Two Years? We have had so many Papists in Office, as you contemplate; so many Papists Soldiers, and such a number of Priests and Jesuits on every side of us; and yet have we not all this while enjoyed our Liberty? Have we not possessed our Estates in quiet? Has any force been used upon our Persons? Has any one's Property been invaded? Have our Throats been in danger from their Swords; or our Houses from Fire-balls? Have we been oppressed with Taxes, or wasted in Wars? Call in your Eyes and Ears, your Hands, all your Senses and Reason to witness, and if these declare to you the Truth of what I tell you; what disturbance can all the Sermons you have formerly heard, and now hear, cause in you; since from the Information of your Senses, you are assured, that those Terrors and Prophetic Threats of Misery and Slavery, contained in them, are not to be understood Literally; but in some other Sense, which I believe Scholars and Politicians can give a better account of than I?  Will 
You give me some ease: Death withdraws itself from before my Eyes; my Heart gins to dilate itself, and my Blood returns into its Vessels. But pray Neighbour, now you put it into my Head, what should be the meaning then of all those Sermons we have heard from our Pulpits, concerning the Papists? When I come out of Church, I cannot imagine the Papists to be any thing but Fools and Idiots, Monsters of Impiety and Barbarity. And yet in my Conversation and Contracts with them, I find them to be like other Men: And now, as you say, we have more fully experienced, in the Reign of our present Sovereign, that in the enjoyment of our Liberty, the Peace and Welfare of the Nation, we have as great Blessings to expect from a Papist, as from any Protestant Prince whatsoever. How are these things to be reconciled?  Fran. 
You put me upon a very Ungrateful Subject. But for the relief of your troubles and mine own, I'll lay before you some Observations I have made upon the Pulpit, I hope no body ever-hears us.  Will. 
No, no danger. Pray go on, and by a charitable Discourse perfect your Cure; for if you leave me as I am, I fear on the next Sunday the Noise of Popery will make me Relapse.  Fran. 
I'll tell you then: About Seven Years ago, I took a resolution of making a Collection of all such Sermons as should come out in Print: For thought I, when I have them by me, I shall be able to read them at leisure; I can with more seriousness apply myself to that Divine Study, and from their Information, as from the Gospel, learn Truth and Falsehood, what to embrace and what to fly. As I had resolved, so I did; intending by them to steer my Life, my Judgement, and my Conversation. But Four Years were not well over, when I discovered my mistake, and found that all was not Gospel, which I had taken for Gospel.  Will. 
Let not this be told in Gath, nor mentioned in the streets of Ascalon. Pray what do you mean? Is it not the Gospel then, we hear from the Pulpits?  Fran. 
The Text is out of the Gospel; but for what follows, it depends upon the Preacher; and requires the Consideration of the Auditory before it be trusted. You know we are often advised from the Chair, Not to go Blindfold, nor take things upon Trust; and this (as I find) they intent should be understood of their Sermons, as well as of other things, that are proposed to us. However, one thing I have observed in the perusal of my Collection; that when Preachers in their Sermons treat of Morality, directing their Flock to the Observance of a Good Life, teaching them to love their Neighbour, to be at Peace with all men, to Forgive Injuries, to be Merciful, Patiented, Humble, and Sincere, to do no wrong, etc. In this case, besides their Text being Gospel, the Word of God generally spreads itself throughout their whole Sermon, and they are to be hearkened to like to an Angel of God. But when you hear them begin to talk aloud of Parties and People, of Papists, Jesuits, Dissenters, Plots and Designs, when you hear them usher in a Discourse with, There are a sort of People in the World, etc. Then stand upon your Guard; for at this time they begin generally to leave the Gospel; the Auditory is to consider and believe them as far as they think fit: but for their Bibles, they may put them up in their Pockets; there being nothing of all this to be found there.  Will. 
This is a good Observation, and I hope will secure me against all Relapses. For now when I go to Church, I shall know when to believe, and when to suspend all belief; I shall be able to distinguish, what is to sink into the Heart, from what is to pass no farther than the Ear. Hitherto I confess. I have been so Inconsiderate, as to take all for Gospel, that I heard from the Pulpit: and this has been unhappily the occasion of my Misfortune and Trouble; it has filled me with Fears and Jealousies, and made my Life uneasy. And indeed I could not well avoid this mistake, seeing that I scarce ever heard any Parson, whether upon a Moral Subject, or upon Plots and Jesuits, but he seemed to read all alike out of his Bible.  Fran. 
Yes, but you are to consider the difference between the Pulpit-Bible, and the Pue-Bibles. Those, which the People have in their hands, contain nothing but the Pure Word of God, without any Addition. But those, which you see held forth from the Pulpits, have a great deal more in them, than ever was writ by the Evangelists, or others of the Sacred Penmen. They have Notes in them of every man's own writing. Can you ever imagine that all that you have heard in Sermons of the Popish Plot was writ or known by the Apostles?  Will. 
How could I tell, but They being favoured with the Spirit of Prophecy, might foresee what was to come in our days: and by some hint or Mystic Expressions give directions to our Preachers, how to behave themselves, when such things should happen. And, if I am not much mistaken, I have heard it proved in a Sermon, that Oats and Bedloe were foretold by the Scripture; and that any one that had but a competent Spirit of Interpretation, might easily discover, that These were the Two Witnesses mentioned in the Apocalypse.  Fran. 
I can't tell, but it might be in some of the Ministers Bibles at that time; but I question whether it be there now. For as I told you, Their Word of God is not always the same, it changes and altars according to Times and Seasons, especially when the Subject is Plotting. But as for the People's Bible, I dare be bound 'twas never in any of them. Did you ever find it in yours?  Will. 
I took always the Preacher's word for it, that 'twas Authentic Scripture; but, I confess, I could never read it so in mine. There might be so much difference in the Edition, as there is in other profane Books, for all as I know. But indeed, one thing I have all along observed, which hits very well with your Remark, that whilst the Ministers are discoursing upon Morality and a Good life, the People sit very Serious and Demure, but something Dull, as if they were hearing a Repetition of what they had often read themselves, in their own Books; but still with their Bibles in their hands: But when the Ministers turn from that Subject, and enter upon Jesuits, or fanatics, or upon Plots; then the People begin to perk up themselves, to stand up Brisk and Attentive, lay aside their Books; as if what they were then hearing, were something New; such as if they did not make it their own, whilst 'twas dropping from the Pulpit, might be lost, and could no where be found in their Bibles at their return home.  Fran. 
You are in the right on't, for there's nothing of all this to be found in the Bible. Nay, many times, 'tis so far from being the Word of God, that it has no relation to it; but is built on no better Foundation, than a Narrative of some Knight of the Post, a Popular Rumour, or some Uncertain History.  Will. 
What! And yet pass for a Sermon?  Fran. 
For a Sermon? I'll warrant you, I can show you hundreds of Sermons, that have been preached before the Gravest Assemblies in the Nation, and influenced them in as good earnest, as if the Holy Ghost had been the Mover; and yet had no better Text to prove what they delivered, than the Word of Villainous Man,  Will. 
You confound me quite. What the Word of Men delivered for the Word of God; and of Villainous Men too!  Fran. 
Yes, of Perjured Villains, of Miscreants. So that I can name you several Eminent Men, after they have taken their Text, as they must do, out of the Bible, fall presently to their Dividing, Expounding, Proving, and Application, and in these, follow so closely Oats and Bedloe, that a Man would take These Doctors for the only Commentators upon the Text. And I believe it must be These Sermons, that have filled your Head thus with Stakes and Faggots.  Will. 
I doubt not, but these have been greatly the Occasion of my Distemper. But You are my Physician, and I hope you have pretty well cured me. However, I think I had best stay from Church Three or Four Sundays, for fear if I should go there and hear again a Noise of Popery, I might be surprised, and take all for Scripture, that's delivered with the Bible in hand, and so my Distemper should return upon me. People that are newly recovered, ought not to be too venturesome. What think you?  Fran. 
Never fear: Remember, but the Directions I have given you, and go upon my account. If you are the worse for't, I'll undertake to cure you for nothing. I have only applied to you a General Remedy as yet, and you are the better for't. But I have other Particular Receipts far beyond all you have had hitherto.  Will. 
Well, I'll observe your Directions; but if I hear any thing there, and am the worse for't; you shall be sure to hear of me again.  
FINIS.