THE DELIQUIUM: OR, The Grievances of the Nation DISCOVERED IN A DREAM.  

FRom Evenings Coffee, laced with long Argument  
Of the Kings Power and Rights of Parliament,  
And hot-brained Company, who make it their Vocation,  
Waving their own, to mind th' Affairs o'th' Nation;  
Whose Noddles for these many Months have been  
Hatchers of Grievances unfelt, unseen;  
ill-mannered Fools, whose Ignorance is Hate,  
They understand not, therefore blame the State.  
Their real Grievance is their want of sense,  
Beasts in all things but in Obedience.  
cloyed with their over-busy Cant( in equal plight  
Of laughter, scorn, and grief) I bid good night:  
troubled to think of England's Grand Disease,  
Groaning with th' burden of such Sots as these,  
To bed I went, where restless long I lay,  
despaired of Sleep, and waited for the day:  
Lord!( said I) must our Monarch ne're have rest?  
The more indulgent, th' more he is oppressed  
With Fools that know not, think not what they want;  
Their Desire granted, they'l soon cure the Grant:  
Yet the King's still in fault! methinks I see  
Tears flowing down the Cheeks of Majesty.  
If I am troubled, how much more is He,  
Who bears the burden of their Calumny?  
Thus lay I long, my Soul quiter spent with Sighs,  
When Sleep insensibly stolen o'er my Eyes.  
From lump of Flesh unchain'd, methought my Soul  
Through Dark unwholesome Foggy Mists did roll,  
horror increasing still, methought I came  
To the dire Mansions of Eternal flamme,  
The Gates of Brass transparent were, and thence  
Flew Azure Flames with smoke of nauseous stench,  
With a confused noise of Howls and Groans,  
Such as would melt( if any thing can) Stones.  
The horror quelled my Spirit, that I stood  
' Maz'd and insensitive as ston or Wood,  
Till by a Friend revived; cheer thee, quoth he,  
This place as yet is not designed for thee.  
He lead me through the Gates, where lo, a place,  
Larger then all this lower Worlds vast space,  
The Torments gave some light( else dark as night)  
A pale bituminous discoloured Light,  
myriad of wretched Souls my Fancy viewed,  
weltering in Flames, with Pitch and Brimstone strewed.  
Just at the Gate th' Infernal Senate sate;  
For know, that Hell's no Kingdom, but a State;  
A Democratick State; for it affords  
( As I was  told) no King nor House of Lords:  
Tho' Lucifer's a kind of Prince, he sate  
But Chairman, or rather Speaker to the State;  
A Troop of Ghastly Fiends surround his Chair,  
All which of a Select Committee were,  
Who( having played their Devils part so well)  
Had been Elected Burgesses of Hell:  
Two who were lately to Eutopia sent,  
Stood now for Members of the Parliament.  
O Yes was straight proclaimed; Appear, appear,  
You that are Candidates; mighty Lucifer  
Assures his Vote for him who merits best  
For his Eutopia Service; All the rest  
To Lucifer with formal Bows submit;  
They would consent to what His Grace thought fit.  
Python appeared; Great Sir, said he, since I  
Went with this Honourable House's Embassy,  
T' Eutopia, I ha' brought that Realm to be  
An't please Your Grace, in all Conformity  
To Your desires; But first I must confess  
Letters of Credence from his Holiness  
( Your Grace's Correspondent) I procured  
To some Lords there; whom I before insured  
By my Ignatian Friends; O! they're a Crew  
Of the most hearty, diligent and true,  
Zealous unwearied Boys, to propagate  
What may conduce to th' Good of this Our State:  
Had they but Cunning equal to their Will,  
This Place with human Souls they'd quickly fill;  
You'd need no other Fiends: These did my work,  
And privily about the Realm did lurk:  
Some ign'rant Bigots they engaged, and some  
Only with th' pleasing pride of Martyrdom;  
Some by Ambition's Bait were finely caught,  
All things at once boldly to venture at:  
But I confess, though all my Art I tried  
To bring the Great Almanzor to Our side,  
I failed; But then I got it buz'd that He  
Would soon make one in the Conspiracy:  
This tickled and engaged them in that PLOT  
Which by th' Eutopians ne'er will be forgot  

In short, This Honourable House knows well  
How I've deserved a Burgess-ship in Hell;  
If not, we've some Jesuits here can tell.   
Then through the House a murmuring Applause  
Shew'd that they all inclined to Python's Cause.  
When Syphax, th'other Candidate appeared,  
Great Sir, said he, I hope my Cause( when heard)  
Will gain your suffrage; Mighty Sir, You know  
M'Opponent's method was a while ago  
used by Cantarogax, Your Agent then  
To th' same Realms, though but in vain; since when  
Others with like Effects have used it; I  
used the experienced Rule, Presbytery:  
This was the method, Mighty Lucifer!  
That brought Ten thousand Rebel Souls a year  
For twenty years together to this place,  
For Python's part, an't please Your Grace,  
He hatch't a Plot I must confess; but what  
Effects did this his so much talked of Plot  
Produce? Why faith he even sent here no more  
Than those who were Your Grace's own before.  
For my own part, I to the House will give  
Of all my Actions a short Narrative.  
In grave and comely Hypocritick Dress,  
Bearing the outward form of Godliness,  
I clothed myself, and to Eutopia went,  
Haunted the City, Court and Parliament;  
And in short time picked up a numerous Crew  
Of all Religions; every Sect a few:  
I made all those my own who took great pains  
To make their seeming Godliness their gains:  
All those who use Religion for a fashion,  
Or seen to thrive by th' ruin of the Nation;  
All who'd at Court their expectations crost,  
Or by ill manners had Preferments left:  
All those who were engaged in the late Broils,  
In the King's Death and the three Nations Spoils,  
And had this King's late Act of Grace abused  
By their unnatural Ingratitude:  
All who had lost their Games, and now would fain,  
For their own turn, have the Cards dealt again.  
I found one fit at last to steer these right,  
A Favourite of theirs, a much famed Wight,  
Capricio called, and thereby hangs a Tale,  
Meager his Visage is, his Face as pale  
As his Deeds black; Dame Nature sure designed  
That by his out-side men might know his mind:  
Hell●s in his Body, and his shrivl'd Skin  
Seems dropping from his rotten Bones within:  
His Corrupt tortured Body does convey  
Fresh Spleen and Rancour to his Heart each day,  
Which lest it should o'erflow, or by mishap  
Be overcharged from Sun or Fleece, a Tap  
Is in his Body fixed, with curious Art,  
Which from his double Envy-canker'd heart,  
By pumping, does exhaust th' exundant Juice,  
Reserving still enough for's daily use.  
With this half Fiend I many Consults had,  
And we at last this Resolution made:  
Almanzor's due Succession to oppose,  
Among his many unprovoked Foes:  
We choose young martion, not for any love,  
But to undo the Youth, as time will prove:  
Poor easy Prince he little thinks that we  
Prostituteth is his weak Credulity  
To our own use, to Anarchize the State,  
And hasten his too soon intended Fate:  
Disgusted Lords we got some two or three,  
To put their helping hands to Anarchy.  
Amongst the rest one Libertino named:  
Of him I must confess I was ashamed,  
His vicious Life did much disgrace the Cause;  
But, 'twas enough, his hate to King, Church, Laws,  
And Government in general, drew the rude  
Unthinking, Jealous, Headlong Multitude  
To esteem him so that he this Title bears,  
One of the Protestant Eutopian Peers.  
With these in close Cabals sometime I passed,  
And forged a feasible Design at last:  
'Twas thought without some provocation 'twere  
Not fit our Cause in public should appear:  
I pitched upon a Rogue, the truth to tell,  
Has not his Fellow even here in Hell,  
Upon our Crew we forged a Plot, which he  
First brought to light; A Re-discovery  
He made as soon, Swore to, and was believed,  
Then our good Party sound themselves aggrieved,  
And cried aloud, THESE TORY'S, Bretheren, see;  
Behold, we say, the Lords Delivery.  
This was some Bishop sure, or Masquerader.  
Soon after this a Son accused his Father;  
forward and backward Swears, at last he Vows, Sir,  
He was subborn'd by that same Papist Towzer.  
Things went on well, and now they thought 'twas time  
The Ladder of Rebellion they should climb:  
The Senate sate; High for the Good Old Cause,  
Magna Charta, and Fundamental Laws,  
No Arbitrary Power, but We must give  
Necessary Limits to Prerogative,  
Though the King mayn't, yet We may break the Laws,  
Punish at pleasure, though without a Cause;  
Then must Almanzor be excluded, He  
Has too much Spirit, too much bravery;  
They must and will have presently Redress,  
Of a long Bead-roll of Grievances.  
And these are such as the K. won't, nor can't,  
Nature and Conscience will not let him grant:  
If not, no Money, Sirs, what e're come on't;  
A Fig for Foreign Foes, so the K▪ want.  
Councellors must be taxed, and most of all  
Hali, whom they had nought to charge with all,  
But only 'cause he could discern the Weather,  
And judge when Elements would clash together;  
They do not think it safe that any Lord  
That has but sense, should sit at Council-Board;  
Those that sit there should in their Foreheads have  
Their Beast-ships Mark of either Fool or Knave;  

Who loved the K. was Voted strait to be  
Betrayer of the Subjects Liberty;  
And their old long-lov'd Darling Property.   
Capricio tells them next, they want a Prince  
Fit to be trusted with the Rule; and since  
The present King's not such, they think 'twere fit  
That they be trusted both with Him and It.  
In short, I've brought that Kingdom, now of late,  
In all Conformity so near our State,  
That whosoever sees both, will surely Swear  
'Tis an exact true Pattern of This here.  
Then such loud shouts from all the Senate came,  
That I awaked, and found it but a Dream.    
FINIS.