THE REMARKABLE PROPHECIES In Order to the PRESENT TIMES:  
The One of GILPINE GIRNIGO, One of the Heritable Poets of the old Thanes of Gilliquhimnee:  
The Other of Sir TRISTRAM, Clerk of the Kitchen to the Knights of King Arthur's Round Table.  
The First, faithfully Translated out of the Original Ersh, by Alister Mackfaddock, Principal of the College of Laganachadrum:  
The Other, out of the old Saxon, by Gustavus Gans, Dreelmaster of Buxstihow.  
The Third of Quean GVINIVERE, that was principal Gigot, and dry Nurse, to Sir Lancelot du Lake; He that was the great Avenger of the Injuries done to cracked Chambermaids.  
Amsterdam, Printed by Joacim Nosche, Anno DOM. 1665.   

The Publisher to the Reader.  
Their Prophecies are apted to the Elevations of your Understandings, much better than he that wrote the Scouts of Cockeny: Yet the Cockeny way is no new thing; for many are of opinion that D. Rabelais Garagantua and Pantagruel was to typify, that the late Covenant should bulge out from the ribs of the French League: Neither is it much out of purpose, considering the insatiability of their Maws, and how many thousands each of them had devoured. Some Pedants again are of the mind, that the great Contest of Berkles, Poliarchus and Archombrotus was not the Kingdom of France in the Person of Argenis, but who should be Professor of Rhetoric in the College of Sorbon. Others again will needs have Sydney's bloody Combats of Musidorus and Pyrocles against Amphiolus and Anaxius, to be grounded upon no other Quarrel, than who should be Knight at the Parliament for Montgomery-shire; and that old Basilius and Kallander were two Justices of the Peace in the County that took great delight in guzelling nappy Ale. But they are highly mistaken, that thought Zelman and Gynoecia a couple of Hermaphrodites. No, no. If their delights had been double, their passions had been mutual: but of this no more. Only I tell you, as to their Predictions, the weakest Noddle cannot miss in the sense, since every one takes upon him to interpret Merlin and Thomas the Rymer. If you meet with any difficulty, it's but some night or other; Go and keep a Rendezvous with some Coast-side Wives, who will clear you. Farewell,   


THE PROPHECY OF GILPINE GIRNIGO.  
IT shall fall out in those days, that the thieving and whoring Planets, Venus and Mercury, shall gender Comets and Meteors male and female, with as great facility as Aberlady sands cast up Skait bubbles: Then will the time be, that the Cod and Killing in the Northern seas will riot, in as great plenty, with the Harrigals of Dutch Tarpalians, as the Country Farmers do with stibble-geeses after the Coronation of their Corn-stacks; And the din Cow of Denmark, that should have lowed at the Basse, shall be sucked yell by the coast-side Witches of the Firth; And the black Bull of Barrostownnesse shall be gelt by a fanatic zeal, because his bellowing so much resembles the great Pipes of an Organ; And the Goat with the gilded Horn, that was sometime Valentine to a Venetian Magnifico, shall be gallanted by the black Ram of the Bonrock, that swum the Loch of the Lowes, and cured three hundred Ewes of the Greensickness; And at the crowing of the Cock of Killimure, the black Hens of Forfar shall begin to keckle; When the blue Boars of Buchan begin to bristle, it will be hard to keep the Swine of the Kers of Gowry from briming; The Messengers of the Marquisat of Minnibole's will summoned the Haddocks of Balantrae before the Lords of the Session of Glenape, and charge them upon the account of spoilyie, for eating up the green beer that grew on the haunches of Griven; The Generation of the Clyd-side Saints, that were begotten upon the steam of Mackgibbons wine, shall persevere in their Dutch Devotions, among the sanctified Sisterhood of Clout the Kourches: The Ghosts of those Warriors that fell at Flowdown and Bannockburn, shall be invited to a Reconciliation-supper by that great subterranean Monarch King Oberon: The place is Pentland Hills; and to protect them from the night air, the cloth is to be laid under a Dock-leaf: The entertainment is Spoon-meat, composed of the juice of Snails, and seasoned with the seed: of the Fairn. Some three weeks, three days, and three minutes after, there shall be heard and seen many strange apparitions and threatening voices, mingled with sorrowful shriekings, in and about Arthur's Seat and Salisbury craig's: The Cyclops of Culrosse shall make such noise in soddering of Girdles, to arm the Curassiers for Gladsmore, that the Common-bell of Edinburgh shall scarcely be heard betwixt the West India Tullip and the Cross. But the great expectations the World laid up for that bloody and dreadful day, shall be at a period, and the Society of Prophecy-mongers may dispose of their Brains for other Curiosities. Oh! but to think on the Drudgery that comes to the share of the little Poets, in making funeral Elegies, lamentable Ditties and Epitaphs, patched up of as many pieces as was Dametas Armour, in memory of their slaughtered Friends that are to pe●●●… on that ●a●a●… Lothian Heath. But yet there's one comfort; It's agreed by articles, the Party overcome is obliged never to make war for the future; so that fierce and implacable quarrel, that has so long continued 'twixt the Amazonian Generations of Heroinaes', shall at length be decided: viz. The Eastern Vestals, that trade in white sand to scour the caps, against the Western Widows that deal in Abercorn Mussels. She that commands the sandy Militia, is Letronia Atramenta, daughter to a laborious Schoolmaster in Musselburgh: the other is Barbary Bucky, Relict to a New-haven Oyster-dregger. What the event of the battle will be, the Author says, his Mephistopheles adviseth every body that's curious, to repair to the Magistrates of Haddingtoun, the day after the fight, and there they will get sure information. Thus much for Gilpine.   

The Prophecy of Sir Tristram.  
WHen Stranger-stars shall piaff among the celestial Families, with feathered Moustaches, and East Friezland beards and a brass countenance, equal to a French Dancing-master, then shall the Wives of Leith be quit with the Husbands of Corstorphine; and the fanatic faction of Calidonia shall be so feeble, that there shall be none to countenance the villainous Act of the West-kirk, but a few drunken besotted Elders, who (if they had their due) should bestride the wooden Horse, with a Ruff of Quart-stoups, and a brace of Pint-bottels for bandstrings. About the same time the pickled Herring in Holland shall be at twelve stevers a piece; and the Town of Amsterdam, in imitation of Algiers, shall court the great Turk's friendship with a Tribute of Catamites fattened with butter, milk and black beans. Then shall the Prediction of Sibylla Loytburnia be fulfilled, viz. That when Mahumet is glued to the stern of a Squab-skipper, the Whore of Babel will turn up to Presbyter John, who shall gender a race of Usurers, whose bounty will furnish the recusant Brethren with Ringo roots and Mondungoes: Providing still, they oblige their Bellmen, Readers and Beadles to conform, in regard they are members not capable of the Benevolence. In this 1665. the long Wars that was between the Pearling-weavers daughters of Athens and the Websters daughters of Lacedaemon shall be decided by a Match at Stoolball, in the fields of Philippi: and the vanquished Party is to pay a Tanzie-cake of the quantity of an ordinary Millstone. After that, they are, with a consort of Bagpipes and Strathdown Trumpets, to give a meeting, in the Plains of Pharsalia, to the Link-bois of London; where, after they are wearied with dancing Levaltoes and Pantelons, they will go to pairing, and beget such a race of Brats of both sexes, as will be sufficient to plant the Commonwealth of Utopia.  
About the same time there will appear a Generation of Renegado stripling Pedants, who, after they have skaffed a little Philosophy among Foreign Universities, will return home, fraughted with as many lies, as will either slide them into some little prattling employment, or furnish them bread and beef from old Wives, for retailing their Fables. So much for Sir Tristram.   

Queen Guinivers Prophecy.  
WHen Saturn peeps out of the Clouds, and shows his bushy beard, than the Mare-swine of the Channel will be vapouring with Dutch Caps, and carousing with their Brandee; and, according to the custom of that Nation, after they are sottishly drunk, in imitation of these upon whom they are gnawing, they will go a whitling with their knives, by way of snedding and sneering, and make such noise in the Valleys of the Deeps, that Neptune will be forced to order his Life-guards of Sturgeon to go and chastise their intemperance. About which time the saucy She pherdesse, Urania of Zealand, will be reduced to gather Bait for the White-fishers of the Texel; and the Belgic Lion shall be so contemptible, that she will scarcely be admitted in most parts of the World to officiate the duty of a Cattone for catching of mice. In these days there shall come a Greek Mountebank to Calidonia, and with him bring an Antilope, between whose horns shall be fixed a Swing, that will cure old Wives of the Rickets that's past sixty. Many more strange things; As, the Tinkers on Tinto top will match with the Black-smiths daughters of Pickentillum: And Count de Cord a Muscovitter shall marry the Countess Ragotsky; and after they are largely entertained with Garlick-water by the Hospital Waywood of Walache; they will, in quest of Honour, repair to the Dominions of Chawfair and Sunnyside, where the Prince of the Country will entrust the charge of his Male-fleet to the Count, and that of the Females to his Lady. The Court of Admiralty on these parts is managed by a Brotherhood of B. B. that, for all generous and requisite qualifications, they much transcend the Confraternity of the Rosy Crucians.  
In the north part of Albany, the renowned City of Bonaccord from hence shall never have Spits and Raxes imprisoned, during the holy days of Christmas: For he that had his head situate in a Cambric web (like a plotted Hog's snout in a large plait) will be removed; and the horns of these that were of his Tribe, will be so far sned, that there will be no danger from their pushing: And both the Men and Women of them that are left (even Tamburlaine Trampit and his wife) will despise their conversation. And if any of them, in a fit of diffidence, mind to skip into the Hothouse of Eternity, there will still be found Kilmarnoch Edges, and seldom Cany Sweet-pots wants water.   
FINIS.