modern book plate SPES LUCIS AETERNAE. Robert Pitcairn WRITER TO THE SIGNET. modern book plate I. Johannis Whitefoord Mackenzie Armigeri. modern book plate HONI SOIT MAL Y PENSE The Last and HEAVENLY SPEECHES, AND GLORIOUS DEPARTURE OF John Viscount Kenmuir. EDINBURGH, Printed by Evan tiler, Printer to the Kings most Excellent Majesty, 1649. For the whole Nobility of Scotland, and others having voice in Parliament, or Committees. WHereas the Testimony of a dying Nobleman, deeply wounded in Spirit is the surest and most unsuspected Argument of the Truth, I have thought fit to make known to all the l●ve●s of GOD, and the work of his right hand, The heavy pangs of conscience and torment of mind, wherewith a Nobleman not long since was exercised with, upon his death bed, for not countenancing the Cause of GOD when he was publicly called thereunto in Parliament; and to discover the fountain of those terrors and griefs that others may learn by his example, not to displease our dreadful Lord Jesus Christ, either by unsound dealing, or withdrawing themselves from his work; and seeing it was that late Nobleman his earnest desire that all should be discovered and laid open to you( Right Honourable) It shall not be impertinent( especially in this condition of time) to acquaint you with this following relation. John late Viscount Kenmuir, having come to the Parliament holden at Edinburgh June 1633. was present the first day, did stay but some few days, thereafter, not having courage to glorify God by his presence when his Cause was in hand, deserted the Parliament, under pretence that his Lady was sick, went home to his own dwelling house of Kenmuir in gallovvay, and as Jonas or David, slept securely in his sin, about the space of one year without any check of conscience, till about the beginning of August 1634. his affairs occasioned his return to Edinburgh, where he remained some few days, not knowing that with the ending of his affairs he was to end his life, he returned home with some alterations of bodily health, and from day to day sickened, till the 12. of September next ensuing which was to him fat all, and the day of his death. But the Lord had other thoughts then that this Nobleman should slip out of this world unobserved, and therefore would not have him to die without some sense of his sin, therefore it pleased the Lord to afflict his body with sickness, to shake his soul with fears, to drop in bitterness in his spirit, and make him altogether sensible of the power of eternal wrath for his own good, and the good of others in after ages who may be warned by his example never to be wanting to the cause of God, when they have any opportunity, and never to wrong their conscience, which is a tender piece and must not be touched. So as Nahaz King of the Ammonites would make no accommodation with the Inhabitants of Jabesh-Gilead, 1 Sam. 11. but upon that condition, that first he should thrust out the right eye to every one of them: So Satan makes himself never master of men till first he thrust out the right eye of their understanding. Hence is it that the false hopes of carnal men, blind and deceive their mindes, many times to their eternal destructions, making them to see things in false glasses, showing them either the profit, pleasures, or preferment, with the fair flourishes of foolish expectations or deluding promises, but under this bait Satan hides the sting and torment of conscience, not suffering them to see how bitter a thing it is to be any ways wanting to a glorious and dreadful Lord for any by-respect; This is the way how Satan hath ensnared many Mighty, Wise, and Noblemen, making them to nibble at the golden bait, and worship that gold in the coin, that they would have abhorred in a melted Image, and so catching the wise in their craftiness: and as the Apostle speaks, 2 Tim. 3. 13. when they are deceiving they consider not that they are deceived themselves, and are so blinded that they become confident of the constancy of sublunary things, not so much as thinking, how unstable is the foundation of that house, honour or preferment, that is laid upon the ruins of GODS▪ House, wanting illumination to see, or hope any thing beyond time or death, which is so strict a porter that it will not suffer any to come in, or go out of this world but stripped and naked. But now( Right Honourable) when I am to Represent to you, how fearfully the Spirit of this Nobleman was wounded( whereof the Writer hereof was an eye witness) I shall not think that any will so construct it, as to have been a fit of madness or melancholy; I know that their be many mockers, who will not believe that their is any such thing, as the unexpressible trouble of a troubled spirit, Though Job and Jeremiah, David, Hezekiah, and Gods eternal Word have given very many expressions to the contrary, as these, Hath God forgotten to be merciful, and Solomon, Prov. 18. 14. But a wounded Spirit who can bear it: Some have chattered as Cranes, and mourned as Doves, others casting out fearful cries, as oules in the desert, others shrieking as the Pelican, and as this Nobleman said when his conscience was upon the rack, My soul hath raged and roared. I shall further desire you earnestly to consider, that the trouble and tempest of this Noblemans mind, was not for voicing against, but onely deserting the Cause of GOD, which is scarcely counted a fault in these times, this may teach every man to tremble, rather then to be any ways wanting to the cause of GOD, but still to stand to it with courage for the truth, the peace of conscience being such an inesteemable treasure. So the wound of a wounded spirit is a most unexpressible terror, nor none can describe it, but he who hath tasted & tried the same: It impareth the health, drieth up the blood, wasteth away the marrow, pineth away the flesh, consumeth away the bones, maketh pleasure painful, and shorteneth life, no wisdom can counsel it, no counsel can advice it, no advice can persuade it, no assuagement can cure it, no eloquence can move it, no power can overcome it, no sceptre can affray it, no enchanter can charm it: Who dareth meet with the wrath of these? O holy Lord of Hosts, who can put to silence the voice of desperation? It breeds such hurly-burlyes in the mind of him that laboureth under it, that when it is day he wisheth for night, & when it is night he would have day again, his meat doth not nourish him, his dreams are filled with fears, his sleep forsakes him, all outward comforts are uncomfortable; Then consider that if in this life, the torments of the soul be so fearful; How much more terrible shall it be to sustain the torments of Hell, where that which is here finite, is there infinite; where that which is here measurable, is their unmeasurable; How great is that ocean of sorrow, whereof this is but a drop, how hot is the flamme of that fire, whereof this is less then a spark: What will then avail Balaams wages, or Naboths Vineyard, or Achans wedge of gold, or Gehezies bribe, or the lust broker Ionadabs credit with a Kings Son, or Iudas his 30. pieces of silver, what will avail the rich rewards of many treacherous murderous emissaries, or the mighty promises made to many night-plotting birds, who writ in obscure characters, who work wisely, and plot in darkness against the holy Covenant and those who are dearest to the Lord, the Innocents of the earth, and apple of God his own eye; what will pensions and promotions to high dignities avail them, who are lifted up for betraying the Cause of GOD, Church or State, when not onely the blood of Iesus Christ, his Apostles and Disciples shall be required at their hand, but all the blood from Abel to Zechariah, from Zechariah to Iesus Christ and his disciples from them to the last Martyr that suffered under the ten cruel Emperours, and all the Popes, from them to the poor Waldenses, from them to the holy Martyrs that suffered under Queen Mary of England, and all the Martyrs of the massacre of Paris, & all the cruel roasted Martyrs of the Spanish Inquisition, from them to that incomparable murder of the Martyrs and holy ones of Ireland; When all that blood, I say, shall be required at their hand, Who is able to stand before thee, O holy Lord of hosts! when thou shalt once begin to speak a word in thy wrath, and vex wicked men in thy sore displeasure? Rememher therefore that conscience is placed in the soul as GODS own deputy, and GODS notary, there is nothing passes in our life good or evil which conscience notes not down with an indelible character, conscience writes all mens iniquities as the sin of Judah was written, Jer. 17. 1. With a pen of iron, and with the point of a diamond, conscience doth in this our pilgrimage, as travellers upon a journey, it keeps a daily Diary of every thing that occurs in the whole course of our life, and then conscience is as a thousand witnesses, itis an eye witness, and a pen witness, bringing testimony from the authentic Registers and Records of the Court of Conscience, blessed is the man who followeth the injunctions, dictates, prohibitions and determinations of a good and right informed conscience, and hearkens to all the incitements thereof: Oh that every man would remember how dangerous a thing it is to resist the checks of conscience, for in so doing we fight not only against our own light, but against the light of the holy Spirit, and grow to such a sottishness and induration in sin, that no admonition is able to forewarn us, neither can any punishment work upon us when once we have suffered ourselves to be hardened by degrees, the smallest means will provoke us, but the greatest cannot revoke us from sin and impiety. Conscience is of the nature of the eye, the least mote, the least touch is offensive to it, and yet the learned Physitians affirm, that although of all the parts of the body it be the most tender, yet if that web which is called( shirrus oculi) come once upon it, of the most tender and sensible member, it becomes the most insensible of all the body; this should instruct all men to fear the Lord greatly, and tremble at his Word, to be exact and strict in watchfulness, fervent and frequent in prayer, least through long custom in sin, the conscience come to a palpable induration, and so as the Apostle speaks, Eph. 4. 19. Past all feeling. David Psal. 37. 37. Desires that we should observe, and we shall find that the upright man shall have peace at last, which followeth the warfare of this life, and bringeth glory and immortality with unwithering Crowns, yet there be many so foolish to get the first peace, that they loose the second, Saul would have peace with men, but lost his peace with God himself and his crown. The Jews refused Peace with Jesus Christ to have peace with the Romans, and when they had killed Jesus Christ, they lost their peace both with GOD and the romans: Look back to former times and it shall appear, that it never went well with them, who to please men offended GOD, or for the faults of men would discord with God; This way of impiety never had, nor shall have good success; so that there is no delight to the delight of a good conscience, let that bide in the breast be always kept singing. The many manifest testimonies( beside this dying Lord) that other dying persons both in this Kingdom and England have given to this present Cause, the Covenant, and Work of Reformation, are not to be passed in silence, for both the Servant, of GOD in the Ministry, as Mr. Alexander Henderson, and Mr. George Gillespie, and many others of younger years, have to the death encouraged all they left behind them to be constant therein, and have expressed their hope and confidence, the Lord should yet build a glorious House for himself in this iceland, not to speak of the Printed Testimonies of the man of God and Martyr Mr. Geo: Wishard, & that heavenly man in our times, Mr. John welsh, & then those who have opposed the Cause, or have been misled by evil counsel, as the L. Boyd, who was shaken with terrors( as this Nobleman) and others who have expressed much terror of conscience, and their deep sorrow in counterworking the work of the right Arm of the Lord, many such have been both in Scotland and England: all this I lay before your eyes( Right Honourable) that as you would be blessed with the blessing of the right hand, and likewise have your houses built upon earth, That you would exalt the holy Covenant, which notwithstanding of all the wisdom, understanding, or counsel that is against it, yet shall it be as oil among the liquours, have no intelligence with them that forsake it: Be not against it in your hearts, and as it is said, Dan. 11. 30. have no indignation against the holy Covenant. It was the last and most earnest desire of this( Nobleman) Right Honourable, That being warned by his example, you might not split upon that rock, nor stumble upon that ston whereupon he had stumbled, when he was very weak, these were his words, tell them, As they are now, so I have been, and ere it be long they will all follow me; Remember therefore that God hath set you( Noblemen) as stars in the firmament of honour, upon your influence, depends the whole course of the inferior world, The offence of great ones keeps off many, the piety of great ones brings in many, It should make your hearts to tremble, when it is said, that few are saved; But when salvation is straightened in a more narrow compass, and GODS Word, 1 Cor. 1. 26. hath said of Noblemen, that few are saved; this should stir up all men, but principally Noblemen to tremble at GODS Word, and endeavour with heart and mind, and might to make their calling and their election sure, 2 Pet. 1. 10. There is nothing so base under the Suns circuit, as to see those who are lifted up through civil Nobility to be under the power of their lusts. John Chrysostom compares such men to a King taken prisoner, who is forced to serve with his Crown upon his head, and his royal apparel upon him: Let therefore Spiritual Nobility be superadded to Civil, and then to your Coronets you shall add a Crown of life, and a Crown of glory to your costly garments: vicious great men are as Uzziah, they carry their leprosy upon their brow, the faults of great men are like eclipses of the Sun, most eminent to all the world. Its not the antiquity of your Families, nor the long discent of an ancient pedigree through many Noble or Princely Branches that can make you Noble, true Nobility consists in that adoption, by which you are made the sons of GOD, children of the King of kings, and Brethren of the eternal Son of GOD; the titles of this Nobility are not written in old rotten or moulded parchments, but are more ancient then the heavens: labour therefore to be the Sons of GOD by Regeneration, which is the ornament of blood, and the first flower of the Guarland: fools may be lifted up, and think what they please of Civill Nobility, but the most royal blood is in the most Religious heart. If therefore( Right Honourable) you be among men as mountains over valleys, be as those mountains of which Solomon maketh mention, Cant. 4. 6. be mountains of myrrh and hills of frankincense, and not as those mountains of the Prophet, Osee 4. 13. who had nothing but incense and Idols upon their tops, and so causing the people to err, become their snares and stumbling blocks, if you be elevated in the world as cliffs above the sea, be as watch-Towers, not as mis-placed Beacons, or lowering rocks: If you be stars, be suns to be chariots of light and life, and not prodigious Comets, to pour out malignity upon the four quarters of the World; and rest assured, that how much more you are with GOD, and united to his Majesty, so much the greater shall you be; The more conformable you are to the Lord of glory, so much the more shall you behold the earth in contempt under your feet, and Heaven in Crowns over your heads. The last and Heavenly Speeches, and glorious Departure of John Viscount Kenmuir. UPon the last of August 1634. which was the Sabbath of the Lord, when this Noblemans body was much weakened, he was visited with a Religious and Learned Pastor; who then lived in gallovvay, not far distant from my Lord Kenmuir his house: he rejoiced at the coming of this Pastor to his house, and observed and spake of a directing and all Ruling Providence, who had sent to him such a man, who had been abroad from gallovvay for other occasions, and had returned sooner then his own expectations was, or his business could permit: after supper about eleven hours at night my Lord drew on a conference with the said Pastor, saying, I am heavily weighted and affrighted in soul with two great burdens, The one is fear of death, the other extreme and vehement bodily pain; but the former is heavier then the latter, for I never dreamed that death had such a sour and austere, gloomy, and such a terrible, and grim-like countenance; I dare not die, howbeit I know I must die, what shall I do for I dare not venture in grips with death, because I find my sins so grievous and so many, that I fear my accounts be ragged, and out of order, and not so as becometh a dying man. The Pastor answered, My Lord, there is a piece of nature in all men( the Believers not excepted) whereby to them the first look upon death is terrible and fearful, but my Lord, believe in him who died for you, and look the second and third time upon deaths face, and if you be in Christ, you shall see Iesus hath put a white mask upon death; and I dare say if this be the time of your dissolution, I trust in God you shall both change your mind and words, for if you have a good second in the combat( such as is onely Christ) your Lord will possibly let your conscience wrestle with the fears of death, yet he is beholding fair play, and I hope Christ Iesus shall not be a naked beholder, and say( deal it betwixt you) as he doth in the death of Reprobates, but shall lend you help, for borrowed strength is all your strength here; yea I hope Iesus Christ shal give death the reading stroke; But my Lord, I fear more the ground of your fear of death, which is( as you say) the conscience of your sins, for there can be no plea betwixt you and your Lord, if your sins be taken a way in Christ, for then death looseth its action of Law against you, you being in Christ and therefore make that sure work and fear not. My Lord answered, I have been too late in coming to God, and have deferred the time of my making my accounts so long, that I fear that I have but the foolish Vitgins part of it, who come and knocked at the door of the Bridegroom too late, and so got never in. The Pastor said, My Lord, I have gathered by experiences, and observed in sundry, and especially in your Father, that when they were plunged over head and ears in the world, and had cast down old barns, and built up new again, God come in a moneths space and less, and plucked them from their deceiving hopes, before ever they got half a wombfull, yea or a lucky mouthful of the world, and this my Lord, looketh like your care, for you know how deep yourself hath been in the world, in Building, Planting, Parking, seeking Honours, and now belike your summons are to a short day. My Lord answered, itis true, I have been busy that way, but my intentions were honest, and only to free myself of burdens and business. The Pastor not being content with such a naked answer in such a weighty proposition, drew the conference about again to his fear of death, and to a reckoning with his Lord; and said, my Lord, you know that it is one of the weightiest businesses that ever you put your hand to( to die) elpecially seeing judgement is at deaths back; faults in your life are mendable by repentance, but one wrong footstep in death is conjoined with eternal loss; for there is neither time nor place to r●●●ate of evil and bad dying; therefore I entreat you my Lord by the mercies of God, by your appearance before Christ your judge, and by the salvation of your soul, that you would here look ere you leap, and venture not into eternity without a testificate under Iesus Christ his hand, because it is the curse of the hypocrite, Job 20. 11. He lieth down in the grave, and his bones full of the sins of his youth. My Lord replied, when I begin to look upon my life, I think all is wrong in it, and the latenesse of my reckoning affrighteth me, therefore stay with me, and show me the marks of a child of God, for you must be my second in this combat, and wait upon me: His Lady answered, my heart, you must have Iesus Christ to be your second, unto the which he said hearty, Amen. Then said my Lord, but how shall I know that I am in the state of grace? for while I be resolved, my fears will still overburden me. The Pastor said, my Lord, hardly or never doth a cast away anxiously and carefully ask the question, whether he be the child of God or not. Then my Lord out of desire to be persuaded of his salvation, excepted against that mark, and said I do not think, that there is any Reprobate in Hell, but he would with all his heart have the Kingdom of Heaven. The Pastor having differenced to him, what sort of desires of salvation falleth in Reprobates: My Lord said, you never did see in me any tokens of true grace, and that is my great and only fear. The Pastor said, My Lord, I was sorry to see you carried so fearfully away with temptations, and you know whether by word or writ I did give you warning that it would come to this that you see this night: I would wish your soul were deeply humbled for sin; but to your demand, I say, I thought you had ever a love to the Saints▪ and even to the poorest and silliest who carried Christs Image, howbeit they could never serve nor pleasure you in any way, and John saith, 1 Joh. 3. 14. By this we know we are translated from death to life, because we love the Brethren: with that mark he was after some obj●●tions convinced. The Pastor asked him, my Lord, dare you now quit your part of Christ, and subscribe an absolute Resignation of Jesus Christ? My Lord said, O Sir, that is too hard, I hope He and I have more to do together then so, I will be advised ere I do that. Then my Lord asked, what mark is it, to have judgement to discerna Minister called and sent of God, and an Hireling; The Pastor allowed it as a good mark also, and cited to him John 10. 4. My sheep know my voice. At the second conference, the Pastor urged a necessity of a deep humiliation, and said my Lord, you know Christ must have such souls to work upon, and not the whole: My Lord said, God knoweth, but that is a needful( must) oh if I could get him, but sin causeth me to be jealous of his love, to such a man as I have been. The Pastor said, be jealous of yourself my Lord, but not of Iesus Christ, and know that there is no meeting betwixt Christ and you, except you be weary and laden, for his Commission from the Father, Isa. 61. 1, 2, 3. Is onely to the broken hearted, to the captives, to the prisoners, and to the mourners in Zion. Whereupon my Lord said with a deep sigh, and with tears God sand me that, and thereafter reckoned out a number of sins, which said he, are as Serpents and Crocodiles before my eyes: thereafter my Lord said, but this hath been a sudden warning that God hath given me, what shall I do, I am afraid to die, and I can neither win through death, nor about it. The Pastor said, My Lord, death and you are strangers, you have not made your acquaintance yet with death, I hope you will tell another tail of death, ere all the play be ended, and you shall think death a sweet messenger, who is coming to fetch you up to your Fathers house. Upon this he said with tears, God make it so, and desired the Pastor to pray. At the third conference my Lord said death bindeth me straight; O how sweet a thing it is to seek God in health, and in time of prosperity to make our accounts; for now through bodily pain, I am so distempered, that I cannot get my heart framed to think upon my accounts, and the life to come. The Pastor said, My Lord, itis a part of your battle to fight against sickness and pain, no less then against sin and death, seeing sickness is a temptation. My Lord said, I have taken the play very long, God hath given me five and thirty years to repent( and alas I have misspent it,) and now I see an ugly sight, then he covered his face with a linen cloth, and bursted into tears and weeped sore. The Pastor said, My Lord, they be far behind who may not follow, think not your time so late, Christ his door is yet half open, you have time to throng in, and your time is not all spent as yet, itis I grant far after noon, and the back of the day is now, yea the edge of your evening, but run fast that ye lye not in the fields, and miss your lodging. Upon that my Lord said with his eyes lifted up to heaven: Lord, how can I run, Lord draw me and I shall run, Cant. 1. The Pastor hearing that, desired him to pray, but he answered nothing, but within one hour after, he called for the Pastor, and in the hearing of his Lady and him, he prayed divinely and graciously, with tears; The contents of his prayer, was a bemoaning to God of his weak estate, both inward and outward; for said he, Lord I am oppressed with pain without, sorrow and fear within, I dare not knock at thy door, I lye at it but scraping as I may, till thou come out and take me in; I dare not speak, I look up to thee and wait on for a smatk and kiss of Christs fair face) O! when wilt thou come? At the fourth conference, he calling for the Pastor said, I charge you go to a secret place to God, and pray for me, and take help of others with you, and do it not for the fashion; I know Prayer, will pull Christ out of heaven. The Pastor said, my Lord, what shall we seek from God to you, give us a commission from your own mouth. My Lord answered, I charge you to tell my beloved that I am sick of love. The Pastor said, shall we seek life and recovery to you? He answered, yea if it be Gods good pleasure, for I find my fear of death now less, and I think God is losing the roots of this deep grown three of my soul so strongly fastened to this life. The Pastor said, My Lord, you must swear a Covenant to God, that if he restore you to this life again, you shall renew your obedience to God, and that Iesus Christ shall be dearer to your soul, then your Honours, Pleasures, Credit, Place, Baronies, and Lands and all that you have: he said ere the Pastor had ended( I trow so) and all to little for him; and by Gods grace I bind myself under the pain of everlasting wrath to bide by that Covenant, if the Lord should restore me. The Pastor said, my Lord, our hearts are deceitful above all things, See that you be honest and steadfast to Iesus Christ in your Covenant; then he red to him the 78. Psal. 36. of a false Covenant, that men often make under heavy troubles, and verse 34. when he slay them, then they sought him, and they returued, and inquired early after God, and ver. 35. and they remembered that God was their rock and the high God their Redeemer, and ver. 36. Nevertheless they did flatter him with their mouth, and they lied unto him with their tongues, and ver. 37. For their heart was not right with him, neither were they steadfast in his Covenant: My Lord said, when he heard this red, in despite of the devil thatis not my Covenant: my Lord took the Bible, and said mark other Scriptures for me to red, and he marked to him the 2 Cor. 5. Rev. 21. Rev. 22. Isa. 38. Psal. 38. John 14. These places he turned over, and cried frequently, Lord for one of thy love-blinks, O Son of God, one sight of thy face. The Pastor said, my Lord, your prayers and your tears are come up before God, and Christ hath obtained a Pardon for you: my Lord took the Pastor by the hand, and drew him to him, and said with a sigh and tears, good news indeed; thereafter he called the Pastor and convened such as went with him to pray for him, and said have you gotten any heavenly liberty and access to God in Christ for my soul, they said they had, and he rejoiced, and said then I will believe and wait on: I cannot think but my beloved is coming leaping over the mountains, and skipping over the hills: When any friends or others come to visit him, whom he knew to fear God, he said at the first, go try your power with God for me, go and pray; he sent two of them at their first coming to him to the wood of the Kenmuir, expressly to pray for him; after some cool of a fever( as was thought) he said to a Gentle woman who was a good Christian, who at his own desire, attended him continually Marion, I desire one word of the Pastor, who being called, came, to whom he said smiling, joy now, for he is come, Oh! if I had a tongue to tell the world what Iesus Christ hath done to my soul. But after this, my Lord conceiving hope of recovery became exceeding careless, remiss, and dead, and seldom called for the Pastor, for the space of two days he continued so, hoping to recover, howbeit upon no terms he would not perm it the Pastor to go home to his Kirk and flock till the Lords day was passed, this coldness gave occasion( to my Lady and the Pastor and other his friends and lovers) of heaviness, seeing his care for his soul so exceedingly slacked, this made the Pastor go to the physician, and asked his judgement for his life, who answered plainly that there was nothing for him but death, which would be certain if his flux returned, which in effect did return; this made the Pastor go in to him, and say my Lord, I have a necessary businene to impart unto you, and he said, say on. My Lord, you are not ware of a deep and fearful temptation of the Devil, by the which your soul is dangerously ensnared, you have conceived hope to return back again to this life, but I tell you my Lord, ere it be long, you shall be presented before the judge of quick and dead, to receive doom and sentence according to your works, I have warrant for me to say this, therefore I beseech you my Lord, as you tender your own souls salvation, be not deceived ere it be long, time will be no more with you eternity is drawing on, your glass is shorter then you are ware of, Satan would be glad to steal your soul out of this life sleeping. The physician likewise seconded these speeches, and faithfully gave him warning of the danger of his disease, and told him for the salvation of his soul, it was his wisdom to be prepared, and told him plainly, that he thought his time should not be long; after these words, he took the Pastor by the hand, and said that he found faithful and plain dealing, this man and I will not sunder till death sunder us; now I will set aside all things, I know one thing is needful; it was but the folly of my deceiving heart, to look back over my shoulder to this life, when I was fairly on once in my journey towards heaven, and therefore he caused all men to go out of the chamber save only the Pastor, and caused him close the doors and confer with him anent the state of his soul. The Pastor after prayer, said my Lord, I perceive I have been deceived and your Lordship also, for your joy I fear hath not been well rooted, neither your humiliation so deep as need were, we must dig deeper again, and seek a lower foundation, for when I bethink me of your coldness in devotion, and your untimous relenting in the necessary work of making your reckoning with your Judge, upon vain conceived hope of recovery of health, I see certainly the work is not sure, one pin is loose: Your Lordship knoweth this Church and country hath been grievously offended at many gross and open sins in you, both against the first and second table of the Law, and upon this the Pastor burdened him with sundry particulars, and told him plainly and said, my Lord, my mistake of the case of your soul, hath been from hence, that you have never cleared yourself of many predominants and bosom sins, whereof I both spake and writ to you, and you may remember how malcontent you were, at a sharp Letter of many particulars that I writ to your Lordship, and how at your house of Rusco you made half a challenge of it to me; for I found you always witty to shift, and cover any thing, whereof you were rebuked, howbeit, at my first coming to this country, when you fided too much with a Gentleman of your name who killed a man vildely, you promised willingly to receive and take in good part, what I freely told your Lordship was amiss. Whereupon my Lord rec 〈…〉ed out a number of fearful sins, which because Iesus 〈◇〉 hath covered, The Pastor will never discover, but amongst all, he ingeniously, and freely confessed his sin in deserting the last Parliament, and said, God knoweth I did it with the fearful wrestlings of my conscience, my light paying me home within, when I seemed to be glad and joyful before men, yet I did for fear of incurring the indignation of my Prince, and the loss of farther honour, which I certainly expected, but wo, wo be to honours or any thing else bought with the loss of peace of conscience and Gods favour. The Pastor being strucken with fear and astonishment, at the reckoning of those fearful sins, which my Lord had keeped close, notwithstanding of such fair appearance of a sound mark of grace in his soul, as he had conceived, did then stand up, and red unto him, the first eight verses of the 6 to the Hebrews, and discoursed to him of the far on-going of Reprobates in the way of Heaven, and of their taste of the good Word of God, and of the virtues of the life to come, and yet are but Reprobates; and cited also Rev. 21. but the fearful and unbelievers, and the abominable murtherers, whoremongers, &c. shall have their part in the lake that burneth with fire and brimstone, which is the second death, and told him what everlasting burning was; and with that the Pastor turned his back upon him, and said now my Lord, I have not one word of mercy, from my LORD to say to you, God hath sealed up my lips that I dare speak nothing to you but one thing, the wrath and ire of God Almighty. My Lord hearing this, with tears cried out so, that they heard him in the with drawing Room and in all the houses about, Then he said, God armed in wrath is coming against me, to beat out my brains; I would die, I would not die, I dare not live, O what a burden is the hand of an angry God? Oh! what shall I do? Is there no hope of mercy. Thus in a fearful agony he lay a long time weeping, so that those who attended broke in, and said the Pastor had no skill, he w●●●d kill him, and others said I pray you be ware, you will 〈…〉 il to thrust him in despair: The Pastor not content with those speeches did bear with them, and went to a quiet part, and sought from God his salvation, and words from God to speak to this patient, and some said that the Pastor was a miserable comforter. After this another Pastor came to visit my Lord, to whom my Lord said, he hath slain me, and before the Pastor could speak for himself, my Lord said, not he hath slain me, but the spirit of God in him: The Pastor said not I, but the Law hath slain you; and my Lord I say yet again, the God of heaven hath a terrible process against your fathers house, and a deep and a bloody controversy, with the stones and the timber of the house of Kenmuir, and my Lord your name is in the pro●●ss, see how you can free yourself, God is not mocked. The other brother red to him the history of Manasses his most wicked life, and how the Lord was entreated of him, and gave him mercy, but the former Pastor went still upon wrath, and asked of him, saying, my Lord, you are extremely pained, I know now both in body and mind, what think you of the lake of fire and Brimstone, of everlasting burnings, and of utter darkness with the Devil and his Angels. My Lord said w● is me, what can I think of it, I think if I should suffer my thoughts to dwell upon it any space, it were enough to cause me go out of my wits, but I pray you man what shall my soul do? The Pastor answered, my Lord, I am where I was, God knoweth I dissemble not, I have not one word of mercy to speak to you; only I know Christ hath not given out the doom against you, the sentence is yet suspended, therefore mourn and sorrow for the offending of your God. The Pastor said what( my Lord) if Christ had given out a sentence of condemnation, and come to your bed-side and told you of it, would you not still love him, and trust in him and hang upon him. My Lord said, God knoweth I durst not challenge him, yea howbeit he should not love me, yet I will still love him, yea though the Lord should stay me, yet I will trust in him, I will lye down at Gods feet; let him trample upon me, I will die if I die at Christs feet. The Pastor finding my Lord claiming kindness to Christ, and hearing him cry often O Son of God! where art thou, when wilt thou come to me? Oh for a love look! Then the Pastor said, is it possible my Lord, that you can love and long for Christ, and he not love and long for you, or can love and kindness stand only upon your side? Is your poor fectless unworthy love, greater then infinite love; seeing he hath said, Isa. 49. 15. Can a woman forget her sucking child that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb; yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee, ver. 16. Behold I have graved thee upon the palms of my hands, &c. and therefore your loving and longing for Christ, is a fire of Gods kindling, my Lord, persuade yourself, you are graved on the palms of Gods hands. Upon this my Lord with a hearty smile, looked about to a Gentleman a good Christian, whom he had commanded to attend his body, till his dying hour: Man, saith my Lord, I am written upon the palms of Christs hands, he will not forget me, Is not this brave talking. The Pastor finding him weaker, said my Lord, the marriage day is drawing near, make ready the marriage Robes, set aside all care of your estate and the world, and give yourself to Meditation, Prayer, and spiritual Conference. He was observed after that to be always upon that exercise, and when none was near him he was overheard praying, and many times when to our sense, he was sound sleeping, he was at prayer. After a sleep he called for the Pastor, and said I haven been troubled in my sleep with this, that being at peace with God, I am not also at peace with men, and therefore sand for such a kinsman( with whom I am not reconciled) as also for a Minister that had before offended me, that I may friend with them, which was done quickly. When the Preacher came, he said I have ground of offence against you as a natural man, and now I do to you, that all men breathing could not have moved me to do, but now because the holy Spirit commands me, I must obey, and therefore I freely forgive you, as I would wish you to forgive me; you are in an eminent place, walk before God and be faithful in your calling, and take heed to your steps, walk in the right road, hold your eye right, for all the world, decline not from holiness, and take example by me. To his Cousin, he said serve the Lord, and follow not the footsteps of your Father in Law( he had married the Bishop of gallovvay his daughter) learn to know that you have a soul, for I say to you the thousand part of the world knoweth not they have a soul, the world liveth without any sense of God. He willed the Pastor to sleep in a bed made upon the ground beside himself within the chamber, and urged him against his will to lye down and sleep, and said you and I have a far journey to go, make you for it: some four nights before his death he would drink a cup of wine to the Pastor, who answered, I receive it my Lord, in hope you shall drink of the pure river of water of life, proceeding from the throne of God, and from the Lamb; and when the cup was in his hand, with a smiling countenance he said, I think I have good cause to drink with a good will to you. After some heaviness, the Pastor said, my Lord, I come with news to you, he answered, what be they; The Pastor answered be not afraid of Death and Judgement, because the Process that your Judge had against you is canceled and rent in pieces, and Jesus Christ hath trampled it under his feet, your Dittay is burnt; My Lord said very pithily with a smile, O that is a lucky tail, I will then believe and rejoice, for sure I am that Jesus Christ and I once met, and will he not come again: The Pastor said, my Lord, you have gotten the first fruits of the Spirit, the earnest, and Christ will not loose his earnest, therefore the bargain betwixt Christ and your soul holdeth. He asked the Pastor, what is Christ like that I may know him? The Pastor answered, He is like love, and altogether lovely, Cant. 5. 6. Love cannot but be known wheresoever it is. The Pastor said, my Lord, if you had the man Christ in your arms very now, would you not thrust him to your heart, howbeit your breasts and side be pained with a stitch: He answered, God knoweth I would forget my pain▪ and thrust him into my heart, yea if I had my heart in the palm of my hand, I would give it him, and think it too unworthy a gift for him. He complained of Jesus Christ his going and coming, I find, said he, my soul drowned with heaviness, when the Lord cometh he stayeth not long. The Pastor said, wooers dwell not together, but married folks take up house together and sundereth not, Jesus Christ is now wooing, and therefore he fedeeth his own with hunger, which is as growing meat, as the sense of his presence. He said often, Son of God, when wilt thou come, God is not as man that he should change, or as the son of manthat he should repent; those that come to Christ, he casteth not away, but raiseth them up at the last day. Still after peace and full assurance of reconciliation, he cast back his eyes to his sins and mourned. The Pastor discoursed to him of the new Jernsalem, and the glory of our Fathers house up above, and said what will you think, my Lord, when Christ shall dry your watery eyes, and wipe all tears from your face, and lay your head upon his breast, and embrace you in his arms, and kiss you with the kisses of his mouth. He said I want words to say what I think, but I know Heaven is above the commendation of all earthly men, howbelt they had the tongues of angels. He was heard to say in his sleep, my well beloved is mine, and I am his, being asked if he had been sleeping, he said he was asleep, but he remembered he was giving a claim to Christ in his sleep. Another time after sleep he wakened with exceeding great joy not long before his death, saying I have felt an extreme sweetness, which did arise from the lower parts of my body and come up to my heart as sweet perfume, and so filled it that I was not able to contain the same, but as a precious perfume, it diffused itself through the whole rooms about me with a most delicate and odiferous smell. The Doctor of physic desired him to say over the words again, which he did, and said he felt joy unspeakable and glorious. After a sound sleep in the dawning, the Pastor said, my Lord, where lay Christ all night, did not your well beloved lie as a bundle of myrrh betwixt your breasts, he answered, nay not berwixt my breasts, but within my breasts locked in my heart. He asked when will my heart be loosed and my tongue untied, that I may express the sweetness of the Law of God to my own soul, and before the Pastor answered any thing, he answered himself, even when the wind bloweth. Being asked by the Pastor, if ever he had benefited by the word of God in public, which he had heard preached these many years, he answered, I never come to your Communion, but I was filled with the sense of God, and Christ was powerfully born in upon my soul, that do my best I was not able to hold him out, but in would he be, whether I would or not, but oh, oh I my wonderful out-breakings, for the Saints I was inclined to; the Devil and temptations took me at such a neck, as I could not win by unhurt, but oh! strong, strong Jesus, O the deep of his love that would not want me. Being asked what was his judgement, anent the Ceremonies now entred in the Kirk of God, answered I think and am persuaded in my conscience, they are Superstitious, Idolatrous and Antichristian, and come from Hell, and I repute it a mercy, that my eyes shall not see the desolation that shall come upon this poor Church; Its plain Popery thatis coming among you, God help you, God forgive the Nobility, for they are either key-cold, or ready to welcome popery, whereas they should resist, and wo be to a dead time-serving, and prophant ministery, they are but a company of dumb dogs. He called his Lady, and a Gentleman who was a friend to his Lady, and had come from the East country a good way to visit him with the Pastor, caused shut the chamber door upon all others, and from his bed directed his speech to the Gentleman, saying, I ever did find you kind and honest to me all the time of my life, therefore I must now give you a charge, which you shall deliver to all the Noblemen you know, and with whom you are acquainted, go through them, and tell them all, how heavy I have found the sprite of the Lords hand upon me, for not giving testimony for the Lord my God, when I had occasion once in my life at the last Parliament, for this foul fault how fierce have I felt the wrath of the Lord my God; My soul hath raged and roared, I have been ript up to the heart, tell them that they will be as I am now, encourage others that stood for the Lord, tell them that failed, that as ever they would wish to have mercy when they are as I am now, that they would repent, and crave mercy from God; would to God I had such an occasion again to testify my love to the Lord, for all the earth should I not do as I have done, tell them. To a Gentleman a kinsman of his, he said I love your soul and I love your body; you are a blessed man if you understand it, because ye may have the blessed means of the word preached beside you, and seeing you are but a tender man of body, I would not have you to drown yourself so much with trysting and fasheries of this world( as I did) who knows but you may be the first man may follow me, my greatest grief is that I had not the occasion of good means as you have, and if you yourself make not the right use of the occasion of your means, one day they shall be a witness against you; Alas take example by me, I was a fool and lifted up with folly, and now when I was at the very top, I was taken by the Lord, when I expected least: The Lord hath smitten me, therefore take example by me, and leave the world and the fasheries of friends timously, tender your soul, and tender your worn body; if I were to live in the world again, I should not vex and fash myself so much as I did, but should dwell at the Rusco the most part of my life, that I might have the happiness of the exercise of hearing Gods word preached, as you have, good Cousin use the counsel of your Pastor. To a Lord that was his brother in law, mock not at my counsel my Lord, in case you follow the course you are in, you shall never see the face of lesus Christ, you are deceived with the merchandise of the Whore that makes the world drunk out of the cup of her fornications, your soul is builded upon a sandy foundation; when you come to my estate, you will find no comfort in your Religion, you know not what wrestlings I have had, before I come to this estate of comfort: The Kingdom of Heaven is not gotten with a skip or leap, but with much seeking, thrumbling and thrusting. My Lord Herreis not liking this discourse, did press to break it off, by these words, saying, my Lord, I thank you kindly, I am content to see your Lordship so resolved, if I had known of your Lordships sickness, I had seen you sooner; my Lord Kenmuir answered, I pray God give you grace to make good use of your coming; seeing you are now come, contemn not good counsel, for I have interest in your Lordship, and loves your soul, and I must exoner myself as I will be answerable to God. To a Lady that was his own sister, who knows sister if the words of a dying brother may prevail with a living sister, alas! you incline to arotten Religion, fie, cast away this rotten dregs, they will not avail you when you are brought to this case as I am, the half of the world is ignorant and goeth to Hell, and knoweth not that they have a soul; itis a wonder to see any to know that they have a soul; red the Scriptures, they are plain Scottish Language, to all who desire wisdom from God, and to be lead to Heaven. To a Gentleman his neighbour, your soul is in a dangerous case, but you see it not, and as long as you are in the case you are in, you will never see it; I pray you as you love the salvation of your soul leave these courses: you must seek out another way to Heaven then you are in, else look to land at Hell; there are small means of instruction t● be had, because the most part of the ministry are profane and ignorant, search Gods Word for the good old way, and search and find all your own ways. To a Gentleman his Cousin he said, you are a young man, and knoweth not well what you are doing: seek Gods direction for wisdom in your affairs, and you shall prosper, and learn to know you have need of God to be your friend. To another Cousin, David, you are an aged man, and you know not well what an account you have to make, and if you were in the case I am in, you would count more of your accounts then you do. I know you better then you believe, for you worship God according to mans devices, ye believe lies of God, your soul is in a fearful case, and while ye know the truth you shall never see your own way aright. To a young man his neighbour, because you are but a young man beware of temptations and snares, and above all, be careful to keep yourself in the use of means, resort to good company, and howbeit you be nicknamed a Puritan and mocked, yet care not for that but rejoice and be glad, that they who are scorned and scoffed by this godless and vain world, and nick-named Puritans, would admit you to their society, for I must tell you when I am at this point as you see me, I get no comfort to my soul by no second means under Heaven, but from these who are neck name Puritans; They are the men that can give a word of comfort to a wearied soul in due season, and that I have found by experience since I did lye down here. To one of his natural Sisters, my dove thou art young, and alas ignorant of God, I know thy breeding and thy upbringing well enough, seek the Spirit of Regeneration: Oh! if thou knew it, and felt the power of that Spirit as I do now, think not all is gone because your brother is dead, trust in God, and your father liveth, & beware of the follies of youth, give yourself to reading and praying, and careful hearing of Gods word, and take heed whom you hear, and how you hear; God be with you. To another Pastor, Mr. James, itis not holiness enough to be a Minister, for you Ministers have your own faults, and those more heinous then other, I pray you be more painful in your calling, and take good heed to the flock of God, and know that every soul that perisheth by your negligence shall be counted to you soul-murtherers before God, think not but such a man as I may at this time give a wise man counsel, take heed in these dangerous dayes how you led the people of God, and take heed to your Ministry. To his Chaplain who then was Mr. George Gillespie, you have carried yourself discreetly to me, so that I cannot blame you, I hope you shall prove an honest man; If I have been at any times harsh to you, forgive me; I would I had taken better heed to many of your words, I might have gotten good by the means that God gave me, but I made no use of them: Now I see it was God sent this Pastor unto me, because he resolved to stay longer at Irwing; The Lord hath now let me see my ways, my soul hath been troubled for them, but my God hath given me comfort, and hath begun to loose my tongue, God be thanked for that which I have gotten, I look for more, great is the work of mercy that is shown to me now the love of God is made known to my soul, and I am grieved for my ingratitude against my loving Lord, and that I should have sinned against him, who came down from the Heaven to the earth for my cause, to die for my sins; The sense of this love born in upon my heart, hath a reflex making me love my Saviour, and grip to him back again, The sparks and slaughens of this love, shall slic up and down this bed, so long as I lye into it. To another kinsman he said, learn to use your precious time well: Oh! alas the ministery in this country is dead, God help you, ye are not right lead, ye had need to be busy among yourselves, and the knowledge God hath given you, use it and practise it, men are as careless in the practise of of godliness, as if godliness were nothing but fashious words, sighs and shows, but all these will not do the turn: O! but I find it now hard, to take heaven by violence and to thrust in at. To two Gentlemen neighbours, Its not rising soon in the morning, and running out to the Park and stone-ditch, that will bring peace to the conscience when it comes to this part of the play: you know not, how I have been beguiled with the world, I would counsel you to seek that one think that is necessary, even the salvation of your soul, be continually casting your accounts, let not your reckonings be behind as mine was, but count with your own souls every day and every night. To a Cousin, Bailie of Air, Robert, I know you have light and understanding, and though you have no need to be instructed by me, yet have you need to be incite● care not over much for the world, but make use of the goo● occasions, and means you have in your country, for here is a pack of dumb dogs, that cannot bark, they tell over a clash of terror, and a clatter of comfort, without any sense or life. To a young Cousin, and another young Gentleman that was his friend, Sirs ye are young men, and ye have far to go, and it may be some of you have not far to go, and if it fall out that your jovrney be short howsoever its dangerous, now are you happy, because you have time to lay your accounts with Jesus Christ: Sir, therefore that your reckoning be made daily, least you be taken( as I am) to make your accounts, and to have all your senses to seek about you, suffer not therefore this example, that you see of me to slip unobserved, but make your best use of it, I entreat you to give your youth to Jesus Christ, for it is the most precious offer and acceptable gift you can give him, give not your youth to the devil and your Lusts, and then reserve nothing to Iesus Christ, but your old rotten bones; It is to be feared, that then he will not accept you, learn therefore to watch and take example by me. He called Bishop Lamb, who was then Bishop of gallovvay, commanding all who were within the Chamber to remove, and had with him a long conference; exhorted him most earnestly, not to molest or remove the Lords Servants, and not to enforce or enthrall their Consciences to receive the five Articles of Pearth, nor to do any thing against their Consciences, but to behave himself meekly toward them as he would wish to have mercy from God. The Bishop answered, my Lord, our Ceremonies are of their own nature but things indifferent, and we impose them for decency and order in Gods Kirk, they need not to stand scrupulously upon them as matters of Conscience in Gods Worship: My Lord Kenmuir replied, I am not to dispute with you, but one thing I know, and can tell you out of dear experience, that these things indeed are matters of conscience, and not indifferent, and so I have found them, for since I did lye down in this bed, the sin that lieth heaviest upon my soul and hath burdened my conscience most, was my withdrawing of myself from the Parliament, and not giving my voice for the truth against these things that they call indifferent, for in so doing I have denied the Lord my God. When the Bishop began to commend and encourage him for his well lead life, and did put him in hope of health, and praised him for his civill carriage, and legal behaviour, saying, he was not an oppressor, and without any known 'vice, he answered, my Lord, thatis no matter, a man may be a good civill neighbour, and yet go to Hell: The Bishop answered, I confess my Lord we have all our own faults, and thereafter insisted in long discourse, that my Lord thought impertinent, this made him interrupt the Bishop, saying, what should more, I have gotten a gripe of Iesus Christ, and Christ of me, God be with your Lordship. On the morrow, the Bishop come to visit him, and said my Lord how do you, my Lord answered, I thank God as well as a saved man hastening to heaven can do; after that he had given the Clerk of Kirkcudbright a most Divine and grave counsel anent his Christian carriage, and how he should walk in his particular calling, he caused him hold up his hand and swear by the LORD that he should never consent, but to oppose to the election of a corrupt Minister or Magistrate. He said to his Coach-man, you will now go to any man, that will give you most hire, but do not so, go where ye may get best company, though you get less wages, yet will you get the more grace;( he made him hold up his hand and promise before God to do so) because your calling is subject to drunkenness and company. To two young Serving-men that came to him weeping to get his last blessing, he said, content not yourselves to be like old wives with a superficial show of Religion, to make a show of blessing yourselves in the morning for the fashion only, yea, although you would pray both morning and evening, yet that will not avail you, except likewise you make your account every day: Oh! ye will find few to direct or counsel you, but I will tell you what to do, first pray the Lord ferventlie to enlighten the eyes of your mind, then seek grace to rule your affections, ye will find the good of this when you are as I am, he took their oath to strive to do so; and as he counseled them, he made many Divine and powerful Exhortations so many sundry persons, that all might be hardly written for length; he caused every man to hold up their hands, and swore in his presence that by Gods grace, they should forbear their former sins, and follow his counsel. After that he had exhorted many Friends and Servants, as they were going out of the Chamber he said to them stay( Sirs) I have somewhat yet to say, be not deceived with the World, for me I have played the fool and brought the house of Kenmuir to the perfection of a complete fabric, as it was never before, and busied my sell exceedingly, and when I came to the top of my hopes, and thought to enjoy them, the LORD came and plucked me from my hopes, thereafter I did see my own folly, and this also I observed in my Father, take example by me, and be not ensnared with the World. There be some who seek the world too carefully, and some too greedily, & many unlawfullie, and men have it so much in their mind, that they are upon the World in the morning, ere they come out of their bed, & before ever they seek God: Sirs, set your hearts to give pains in sad earnest for the Kingdom of Heaven, I will tell you, the heavenly Kingdom is not gotten with a skip or a leap: I find it now, there must be thrusting and thronging and climbing to enter in; It is a straight and narrow way; his omission of prayer in the morning time, through needless foils and distractions touched his conscience, this he confessed with regrate. He was giving a Divine counsel to a Friend, and restend in the midst of it, and looked up to Heaven, and prayed for a loosed heart and tongue to express the goodness of God to men, and thereafter went on in his counsel, not unlike to Jacob, Gen. 49. 18. Who in the midst of a prophetical Testament resteth a little and saith, Lord I have waited for thy salvation. He gave his Lady divers times, and that openly, an honourable and ample testimony of holinesse and goodness, and all respective kindness to her husband, and craved her forgiveness earnestly, where he had offended her, and desired her to make the LORD her comsorter, and said he was but gone before, and it was but 15. or 16. years up or down. He spake ordinarily to all the Boys of the House, Servants, Butlers, Cooks, omitting none, saying, learn to serve and fear the LORD, and use the means of your Salvations carefully, that you put not your accounts to the hinder end of the day as I did foolishly, I know what is ordinarily your Religion, yea go to the Kirk, and when ye hear the devil or Hell name in the preaching, ye sigh and make a noise, and it is forgot with you before you come home, and then ye are holy enough, but I can now tell you the Kingdom of Heaven is not gotten so easily; then your Pastors and guides misleadeth you, They are but a pack of dumb Dogs, use the means yourself and win to some sense of God, and pray as you can morning and evening; if you be ignorant of the way to heaven, God forgive you, for I discharge myself in that point toward you, and appointed a man to teach you, your blood be upon yourselves; The little knowledge that you have, if you would use it carefully, and with a good Conscience, the Lord would led you on farther, and teach you his ways, but your form is to ask for that Master who will give you most hire, and little care you to live in good Company, where you may find the means of Salvation, and so ye spend the time all over in the ignorance of GOD; he took an Oath of his Servants, that they should follow his advice; he had a Speech severally to every one of them; he was so far humbled that he said to every one of them( the meanest no excepted) if I have been rough to thee, or offend thee, I Pray thee for Gods sake forgive me, and among others, one to whom he had been rough, said, your Lordship did me never wrong, I will never get such a master again, yet my Lord urged the boy to say, My Lord, I forgive you, howbeit the boy was hardly brought to utter these words. He said to all the beholders about him, Sirs, behold how low the Lord hath laid me. To a gentleman burdened in his estate, Sir, I counsel you to cast your burdens upon the Lord your GOD. A worthy and Religious Gentleman of his name come to visit him four dayes before his death; he beholding him afar off, said, Robert, come to me, leave me not till I die; thereafter being much comforted with the Gentlemans words, he would have him to wa upon his body, and being more and more comfort with his speeches, he said, Robert, you are a friend but to my soul and to my body; this Gentleman asked hin saying, my Lord, what comfort hath your soul in your love towards the Saints; he answered, I rejoice at it; then he asked what comfort have you in bringing this Pastor who attends you to gallovvay; he answered, GOD knoweth that I rejoice that ever GOD did put it in my heart so to do, and now because I aimed at Gods glory in it, the Lord hath made me to find comfort, to my soul; in the end, I would counsel all men that thinketh to die, to lay up many good works against the time of departure: the Ministers of gallovvay murdered my Fathers soul, and if this man had not come they had murdered mine also. In the hearing of my Lady Herreis his sister, a Papist, he testified how willing he was to leave the world, that he could not command his soul to look back again to this life, he did so long( as he said) for his soul-full of the well of life, that Papists may see that these who death in this Religion, seeth and knoweth well whither they go, and that we are by death fully loosed from the love of this world, for the hope of our own Fathers house. It was told him, that Letters were come from some of his friends to him, he caused deliver them to his Lady, saying, I have nothing to do with them, I had rather hear of news from Heaven concerning my eternal salvation. It was observed, when any came to him anent worldly business, that before they were out at the doors, he returned unto praying, conference, meditation, or some spiritual exercise, and was exceeding short in dispatching all earthly business; yet so as he took the pains to sign all needful Writs when he was required, likewise he recommended the case of the poor to his friends. When he was wearing weaker, he fell in a swoon, and being awaked, he said with smiling, and signs of joy to all about him, I would not exchange my life with you all, nay not with you who are Ministers, I feel the smell of the place where I am going to. Upon the friday in the morning 12. September, which was the day of his departure, he said to the Pastor, this night must I sup with Jesus Christ in paradise: The Pastor read to him, 2 Cor. 5. Rev. 22. and made some short notes upon such places as concerned his estate: After Prayer he said I conceive good hope, that God looketh upon me when he gives his servants such liberty as to pray for me: Is it possible that Jesus Christ can loose his grips of me, neither may my soul get itself plucked from Jesus Christ. He earnestly desired sense of Gods presence, and the Pastor said, What, my Lord, if that be suspended till you come to your own home, and be before the throne clothed in white, and get your harp in your hand to sing salvation to the Lamb, and to him that sitteth on the throne, for that is heaven, and who dare promise you upon earth, There is a piece of nature in desiring a sense of Gods love, it being an apple that the Lords children delight to play with; but, my Lord, if you would have it onely, as a pledge of your salvation, we shall seek it from the Lord to you, and you may lawfully pray for it, earnest prayers were made for him, and my Lord testified that he was filled with the sense of his Lords love. Being asked what he thought of the world, he answered, Its bitterer then gull or wormwood. Being demanded if now he feared death, he answered, I have tasted death now; Its not a whit bitter, welcome the Messenger of Jesus Christ; he never left off to mourn for his sins, especially his deserting of the Parliament. The Pastor said to him, My Lord, their is a process betwixt the Lord and your fathers house, but your name is taken out of the Process, dear and how dear was heaven bought for you by your Saviour Jesus Christ, I know there is wrath against my Fathers house, but I shall get my soul for a prey, which words he had frequently in his mouth, oft times also he would say is not this a sweet word that God saith, As I live I delight not in the death of sinners; he said often I will not let go the grip that I have gotten of Christ, though he should slay me I will trust in him, and lye at his feet and die there, and lye at his door like a beggar waiting on, and if I may not knock, I shall scrape; another word was ordinary to him, O Son of God, one love-blink, one smack, one kiss of thy mouth, one smile. When he had been deep in a meditation of his change of life, he made this question, what will Jesus Christ be like when he cometh? it was answered, all lovely. The day of his change being Friday 12. September he was heard pray divinely, on which day he said to the Doctor, I thought to have been dissolved ere now; The Pastor answered, my Lord, weary not off the Lords yoke, Iesus Christ is posting fast to be at you, he is within few miles; he answered mildly, this is my infirmity, I will wait on, he is worthy the on-waiting, though he be long in coming, yet I dare say he is coming, leaping, over the mountains, and skipping over the hills, if he were once come, we should not sunder. The Pastor answered, some have gotten in this same life their full of Christ, howbeit Christ is oft under a mask to his own in this life, and will have them kissing him through a mask, yet even his best Saints Job, David, Jeremiah were under desertions. My Lord answered, what are their examples to me, I am not in holinesse near to Job, David, or Jeremiah, The Pastor answered its true my Lord, you cannot take such wide steps as they did, but you are in the same way with them, a young child followeth his father at the back, though he cannot take such wide steps as he, yet this hindereth him not to be in the same way with him; my Lord your hunger overcometh your Faith, only but believe his Word, you are longing for Christ, onely believe Iesus Christ is faithful, and will come quickly. To this my Lord answered, I think it time Lord Jesus come? Then the Pastor said, my Lord, our nature is in trouble to be wholly upon our own deliverance whereas God seeketh first to be Glorified in our Faith and Patience and Hope, and then it is time enough that we be delivered, he answered, Good reason, my Lord be first served, Lord give me to wait on, only Lord burn me not to dross. Another said, cast back your eyes, my Lord, upon that which you have received and be thankful, at the hearing whereof he presently broke forth in praising of God, and finding himself weak, and his speech failing, some more then an hour before death, he desired the Pastor to pray, which he did; after Prayer the Pastor cried in his ear, my Lord, may you now sunder with Christ; he said nothing, nor was it expected he should speak any more, yet a little after, the Pastor ask 〈…〉 ye any sense of the Lords love, he answered, I have sense, The Pastor said do you not enjoy, he answered, I do enjoy, thereafter the Pastor said, will ye not sunder with Christ, he answered, by no means, This was the last word, not being able to speak any more. The Pastor asked if he should pray, he turned his eye towards the Pastor; in the time of that last Prayer he was observed joyfully smiling, and looking up with glorious looks, as was observed by the beholders, and with a certain beauty, his visage was beautified, as beautiful as ever he was in his life; he expired with loud and strong setches and sobs, being strong of heart and body, of the age of five and thirty yeers: The expiring of his breath, the ceasing of the motion of his pulse( which the physician was still gripping) trysed all precisely with the Amen of his Prayer, and so died he sweetly, and holily, and his end was Peace; he departed about the setting of the Sun, September 12. 1634. Blessed are they who die in the Lord. FINIS.