A Pleasant New Song called The Coney BARBER, Or, A young Lady's Delight, how she trimmed her Maid, when she was on the Straw asleep.  
To a pleasant new West-Country Tune.  
 

YEa Females draw near, some news you shall hear  
of a Lady that is very well known,  
She is one of the name, that is right for the Game  
but strangely preserved her own;  
Though tender in years, as it plainly appears  
No fear could her Faculty awe,  
For a Vow she hath made to be one of the Trade;  

which hath made you laugh hah, hah hah, hah.    

No thoughts could expire her earnest desire  
a Coney Barber to be,  
With Instruments neat, and all things complete  
in short provided had she,  
Her Powder in Box for perfuming your Locks,  
The best that ever you saw,  
Her Raisor so kine if you had filted between,  

it would have made you laugh hah, hah, hah, hah.    

And likewise her Yever, there is none can procure  
in Fair or in City or in Town,  
Her Washing-Ball sweet, if that you do meet,  
the like if you please to lie down,  
●er Sissers and Come, will be sure to reach home,  
〈…〉 hair for to 〈◊〉  
 

   

She can paint, she can porl, crisp, powder and curl,  
The French or the Spanish Cut.  
Mischeators or Bear, or what you will wear,  
each Hair in order she'll put,  
For brushing, for rubbing, for lathering for frubing,  
Whether it be a Frost or a Thaw,  
Her Water Pot, she keeps always hot,  

for to make you laugh, hah, hah, hah, hah.    

When Febus addressed, to view the North West  
and Vesper had sealed up the day,  
She was not afraid to make use of her Trade.  
in the place where she used to play,  
Where she found out a Maid, whom herself had laid,  
Who sound slept on the Straw,  
She gave her a trim, if you thither had been,  

it would have made you laugh, hah, hah, hah, hah.    

She slumbered, she, steeped, she sighed and wept,  
strange Visions were inter inseared  
She seemed to spy, one shaving so nigh,  
who trimb of the Skin with the Beard,  
And likewise she dreams, and also proclaims  
Some Rook or else some jack Daw  
W 〈…〉 to the Fair, for to sell of her hair  

   

She was nimble and quick, though she hath gotten the Trick  
yet she dares not her fingers to knock  
Lest she should affright, the Slumber in wait,  
before she had ordered her Lock;  
For betwixt the heaps, she opened the Lips  
And found never a Tooth in the jaw,  
She tripped away without any pay,  

that hath made you laugh, hah, hah, hah, hah.    

With weeping cross, she lamented her Loss  
till the Coney Barber she had found,  
And by a great name, had gotten the Fame  
throughout all the firsenty round,  
They wrangled, they jangled, they strangely entangled  
Like Cats they scratch and they claw,  
It would a yield you delight, for to see such a fight,  

and a made you laugh, hah, hah, hah, hah,    

This Barber complains she so paid for her Pain  
and the Boys cries it for a may-game,  
To her Mother she goes for to punish all those,  
who dares to give her that Name,  
Her Friends being wise, they thought to surprise  
The business while it was raw,  
To a justice they giss, which was the way to suppress,  

and to make you laugh, hah, hah, hah, hah,    

Then a brave Troop of Horse, provided there was.  
for to have the businesses well skand  
You must think for a while, how his Worship did smile  
when first took the business in hand,  
He told the time, would extinguish the Crime,  
And the Boys would forget what they saw,  
Likewise time would repair, the loss of that Hair;  

that hath made you laugh, hah, hah, hah, hah,    

Then Mistress Tell-Truth would have taken her Oath,  
that this Maid stole one grain of her Wheat,  
And much to discover, to have her bound over,  
the art was more heinous than great,  
For his Worship knew well when Women Rebel  
No justice therefore could her awe  
For he bid them deride on every side;  

and burst out with a hah, hah, hah, hah,    

This Maid still said, that she would be paid  
for losing the crop of her Field,  
The Fountain so near with a half year  
a better Cut might yield,  
For the Caves was so bare, that no action lay there  
Nor any Commencement in Law,  
For they rid out like Mome, and so they Rid home,  

which 〈…〉