The Fortunate Lawyer: OR, THE Young Students New Family, BEING A Pleasant and True RELATION of a Young LAWYER, who lately Picked up a Fleetstreet Night-Walker, and Civilly Handed her to his own Private Chamber, in an Eminent Inns of Court; where, after a whole Night's Dalliance, She (with little Trouble) Presented him with a Boy and a Girl; who now Lies-Inn, in the Lawyer's Chamber  
WHatever other Trade fails, the daily and important Work of Propagation, the fulfilling of the First great Commandment, Increase and Multiply, tho' the other Ten are almost neglected is certain to go on: And indeed, the supplying the Race of Mankind under the Reign of Wars and Battles, may be no disacceptable Service to the Commonwealth; whilst the Men are pressed away to one Service, 'tis fit the Women should be Pressed too, for Recruits.  
Accordingly, a certain Gentleman of the Long Robe not far removed from the famous Temple Cloisters, (a true cloisterer, as you'll find by his Recluse Life) having cast an Owl-Light Glance upon a certain Fleet street Evening Walker, of the soft Feminine Gender; very courteously invited the Fair Pilgrim to a private Geil of his called his Temple Chamber, for a gentle Night's Repose: The kind Itinerant, not over cold this warm Spring Season, readily embraced the generous Proffer, and with a Hand and Heart, to Have and to Hold, a Bride for a Night, the Match was struck up, and the kind Pair went forward to the grand Importance, Consummation.  
As to her Habit, she was pretty well Rigged, tho' a little Vnstay'd, being in a kind of a Lose Bodied Gown, for some particular Reasons, as you'll find by the sequel. I dare not say, she had a Beau shape, being indeed a little Oversizeable about the Wast: But our brisk Amourist, that stood not upon those Niceties, made at present no other Inquiry than into her upper Tire, the good Face he discovered, as deferring the Examination of her Middle Region till a fit Opportunity. Hand in Hand they moved to his Apartment, where with no great matter of Ceremony, the Damsel, being full as nimble as himself, Vnpinned and Disrobed as quick as the Spark, and got to Bed with as frank an Expediti on as himself; when he came to the kind Hug, and Amorous Twine, he found her a pretty Plump Armful, being a little more than ordinary round in the Girdings, upon this he seemed a little startled, but the kind Damsel soon dissipated that Surprise, by assuring him, That as full as he found the Meat in the Pot, there was still Room enough for a Cook in the Kitchen: The Spark was soon satisfied in that Point, and resolved to Balk no Manhood on that Score: For now, out of a double Generosity, a little Charity, as well as Love, he remembered he had either heard or read somewhere in Culpepper's Midwivery, or some other such Learned Treatise, that Benevolence helps Production; and therefore, out of a Principle of more than Common Goodness, he resolved to bestir himself rather Brisker than ordinary, on so Generous an Account: It's true, he could make no new Plantation, where the Crop was so Rank, and the Harvest already so forward; nevertheless he would not be wanting in all the Good Offices before mentioned; and if it were not too late, (if possible) to put a Nose to the Hans en Kelder; though he had no other Finger in the Pye.  
How hearty he fell on to the Young Turtle, or rather Plump Partridge, I shall not relate; 'tis sufficient to tell my Reader, That a stout Nights Exercise created a sound Morning's Sleep. When our tired Gamester, as loudly Snoreing as if he had been at Wages in Lubberland, the poor Girl began a little to gruntle: A certain troublesome Rumble put her to a little more than ordinary Uneasiness. To be short, as much as she had had of the Help of a Man before, she wanted a little Woman's Assistance now. But to see how Destiny provides for the Distressed! it so fell out, that without the least Motherly Matron's Hand or Aid, she fairly dismantled her whole Load, viz. no less, than a Brace of Lusty Bantlings, with almost as little trouble as drooping the Crow a Pudding.  
All this while her peaceful Bedfellow slept on; so far from waking, to lend her Back a kind Hand, (and, no doubt, as little dreaming of this young Nursery laid by his side) that the whole Mi●wi●rey was performed, before his Eyes were so much as opened.  
When fair Broad Day, and the Mounting Sun had unsealed his Lids, his First Salutation was the Harmony of a Brace of Dimintive Squealing Pipes; perhaps, none of the most Grateful, tho' otherwise very Natural Music: The kind Mother, too, joined in the Chorus, by wishing him Joy of the Increase of his Family.  
I cannot tell you, (for indeed, it is almost impossible) what Astonishment struck our Young Man of Law, at this unexpected Discovery: However, he found, that his Culpepper had spoken Oracles, and himself had played an Expert Scholar, under so Gamaliel a Doctor: For the Benevolent Gentleman had made the Productive Experiment, by a Probatum est.  
Well, Sweet Meat must have Sour Sauce: He has not Danced so Briskly, but he must Pay the Fiddler as Extravagantly: For, here's Household Charges like to ensue; and no less than a whole Brace of Jolly Twin Brats, a Young Coke and Littleton, said at his Door, without the Trouble of an Hand-Basket, or any such Slovenly Conveyance: The Mother has fairly Dropped 'em, the Parish is as fairly Cleared of 'em, and the Gallant as fairly Entitled to 'em, by Virtue of her Tenant in , as the Best Patrimony in the whole Kings-Bench Rolls.   

LONDON, Printed for J. Sharp, at the Cock and Fountain near Fleet, street, 1695.