Dr. Oates' ANSWER To COUNT TECKLY's LETTER, Giving Him a True Account of the Present Horrible Plot.  
May it please your Excellency,  
THe inexpressible favour you have shown to the Adorer (not only of his Mahometan Majesty the Grand Signior, yourself, the Mahometan Laws, and Religion, but also of your Excellency's Discenting Principle from your Christian Master, which is a true Parable with us here in these; Kingdoms) has filled me with amazement to find a Poet of our Party, to answer the incomparable Letter you were pleased to honour me withal; For indeed I am not good at writing or reading, my business is only Plot-vouching; for which (I thank Mahomet) I am famous all over the World. But at last (rather than be silent) I have by many importunities, persuaded him that was Author of a Famous Book, (that I believe your Excellency has heard of) Entitled, a Popish Successor, etc. to write this Answer, which will inform you the truth; the whole truth, and nothing but the truth: which is more than ever I swore, or said in all my life before. In the first place I do from the bottom of my heart assure you (which is more than I durst say of my swearing in the late Popish Plot, tho'I had one Prance an Eminent Murderer by Oath; to back me with a well sworn improbable Murder of a Famous Justice of the Peace) that I have as good wishes and hearty Prayers for the Mahometan Cause, as any man breathing in Christendom, of which I am under colour a Member, tho'never Baptised; and have ventured my Damnation as far as any that puts forth Christian Colors on a Mahometan Design, as I shall give your Excellency a true Relation. In the beginning of my true swearing, (of which every body is sensible) was to the Earl of Shaftsbury's contrivance, I knowing of the truth of the matter, but was resolved to make myself Famous, as you are sensible I have. I must needs acknowledge myself a sincere adorer of Mahomet by my persecuting Oaths against the true Lovers of the King of England, whether Protestents or Papists; (I mean not the the True Blue Protestants) for as I told your Excellency before, They were for the Mahometan Cause, we have always stood by. Therefore to answer your Letter without many more Parentheses (tho' my life does admit of the Devil and all; who is best acquainted with all my proceed) (as our Seamen say) from Stem, to Stearn. I am, and all the Mahomeatan Protestants, under persecution; for the shame Popish Plot which was to introduce a true Fanatical Conspitacy, that is also confounded: Therefore we have designed a day of Humiliation, (not only for the defeat of our Un-Christian Cause here) but so. your Mahometan Cause before Vienna, as the Christian Gazettes do inform us, whose truth we strive to confound, by our good wishes, and daily Mahometan Prayers; and yet we cannot prevail. At the Christian Thanksgiving for the Discovery of our Horrid Conspiracy, did we not abuse the Government, and affrons the Clergy, by sending up perfidious Notes to their Pulpits, wherein we justified (those that rightly suffered for contriving the death of the King and the Royal Family) to be absolutely Murdered and yet this does us no good, neither lies it in my power (for what would it avail me to tell your Excellence a lie) to resist by those Methods your Excellence requires? for upon the faith of (what shall I say) a Gentleman, that I am none; a Doctor I never was, and a Christian (my Father being an Anabaptist) would never make me. But (by Mahomet whom I adore,) I know nothing of the Black-Bills by me sworn in the No Popish Plot: for instead of thousands, I never saw one, nor does it lie in my power to tell you what they are like. Therefore I cannot assist his Majesty, the Grand Signior, with any thing of that kind: For by our Prophet Mahomet, they were invisible to me too. I perceive, now our Cause is in its Wane, 'twill expire like the snuff of a Candle, having no Sun to renew its light by; unless the Son of Perdition, which will cast a damned purblind Reflection. For the Spanish Pilgrims (as I have already sworn, I will not tell you a Lie, tho' I scarce know how to frame myself to a Truth,) was an Aldersgate-street Contrivance, to carry on our Design; and a Stratagem to amuse the Rabble; for upon my Mahometan Faith, there was never any such thing. Therefore his Majesty, the Turkish Emperor, and my ever Honoured Prince, cannot possibly expect any belief from them. I am extremely willing to change my Climate, had I but money to bear my Charges: for (being in the vein of speaking Truth) I was forced to pawn some of my Contribution plate to redeem me from the tenterhooks of the Poultry Compters which, an't please your Excellence is a place, a man cannot get clear of without tearing his : And indeed mine began to be out at Elbows, for want of a Plot-allowance. (Nay) my Plot itself I was forced to pawn, to Archibald Sparks Sergeant at Mace belonging to the Shrievedom of London, who has no more Faith in my Plot, than a Jew has in Christianity: and now I have nothing else to pawn, unless it be my Soul to the Devil, which I fear he will lend nothing upon, (being his own already) without a Bribe Therefore I do not find any possibility of my going to wait on my Grateful Master the G. S. my Janissaries have left me, having no faith in my swearing, when there is no money stirring And now the Giant Perjuries of your humble Servant, are dwindled to the Dwarfish belief of a Loyal Subject; so that I lie exposed to Jack Catch in his Office. I must confess I began to be tired with our True Blue Protestant Bums, (having Buggered almost the whole Party over) that I long for those Mahometan backsides, assured me in the Grand Signors Masculine Seraglio. But that I now despair of, unless his Mahometan Majesty, by a speedy supply of money from his own Treasury, do redeem me from the Justice of those Christian Princes, I have (I must needs confess) by my Perjuries abused, and set all honesty in a flame, which is now like to scorch me to death: except I say, the G. S. and yourself, (who have expressed so much love to me) relieve your Vassal: for by Mahomet, I adore you before the Crucified Saviour you designed to persecute. For I was just to the True Blue Mahometan Cause, and will continue steadfast. For I will Lie for it, Swear for it, go to the Devil, and be Damned for it, if it will do the Cause any good. If you will send Money to bear the charge of their Voyage, I do not doubt but to bring the G. S. a hundred thousand True Mahometan Protestants, that (since your Letter) I have recommended your Excellencies respects too. Nay, a great part of them are in the Village of London; and do talk, and will do as much for the good old Mahometan Cause, as ever. Our Prince Mon-Teckly has given us the slip; but Bethel-Teckly is as vigorous a Cause-monger still as any man, and will be ready upon the least Summons to head us, with the help of Sir William Waller, who lies ready at a Bawdy-house in Holland, and can easily give us his assistance, as he has promised; for he was the man that burned his Saviour in Effigy, and therefore is true to the Mahometan Cause. But for those Commissions you mention, I confess by the Mahometan Faith, I never saw one of 'em myself. And for the Vessel that brought me from Spain to Islington in a days time, to tell you the truth, was a great Lie of mine, because I would be thought a worker of Miracles. The True Protestant Mahometans (send but money) you shall have them all; but the Black-Bills, I deny: the Spanish Pilgrims, I know nothing of: the Irish Ruffians, was a Shame: the French Army was a Dream: Purbeck Invaders, was a trick to raise the Country: Screwed Guns, and Chewed Bullets were a Jest: but the Protestant-Flails, and Blunderbusses, were a real Truth, to destroy the King, and all the Royal Family: and beat out the Brains of all their Loyal Subjects. And if they will serve you, you may command them, from your Excellencies great Admirer,  
From the Amsterdam Coffee-house. Oats.  
FINIS.