THE GENTLE CRAFT.  
The second Part.  
Being a most merry and pleasant History, not altogether unprofitable nor any way hurtful: very fit to pass away the tediousness of the long winter evenings.  
By T. D.  
Newly corrected and augmented.  
Haud curo invidam.  
LONDON, Printed by Elizabeth Purslow, dwelling near Christ Church 1639   

To the Master and Ward●● 〈…〉 worshipful company of the Co●●● in London, all continuance of health and fect brotherly affection.  
ONce more hath good will embolde●●● me, to present unto your Worships, my worthless labour, to manifest the good affection I bear to this fraternity: and finding, you lent a gentle look on the first part of this History, I have been the more bold to proffer you the second: for having bound myself by promise to perform it: and you perhaps claiming promise as a debt, expecting payment, I bent all my study to keep touch: whereupon I tender this small trifle unto you, only craving at your worship's hands, a good opinion of my poor endeavours. And albeit this pamphlet doth not minister matter worthy your grave view: yet in regard of the subject, I trust you will deign to esteem it sigh so well as I could, though not so well as I would, I have sought herein to procure your delight: and although you find not all the men spoken of, which is promised in the first part, yet think it no faintness in me, but fault of good instruction: and again, for as much as these men here mentioned, were all of this City (whose story grew longer than I supposed) and the other of the country: I thought good so to break off, and to defer their story to another time, when I may more perfectly speak thereof. In the mean space I commend your Worships to the protection of the most highest.  
Your Worships in all he may. T. D.   

To the Courteous Readers health.  
GEntle Reader, you that vouchsafe to cast courteous looks into this rude Pamphlet: expect not herein to found any matter of light value, curiously penned with picked words, or choice phrases, but a acquaint and plain discourse, best fitting matters of merriment, seeing we have herein no cause to talk of Courtiers or Scholars. Notwithstsnding, if you found yourself over charged with melancholy, you may perhaps have here a fit medicine to purge that humour, by conferring in this place which Doctor Burket: or if you meet with round Robin, he may chance rhyme it away. I tell you among Shoemakers is some solace, as you shall see by Tom Drum's entertainment, and other mad merry pranks played by the Greene-King of S. Martin's. If that will not suffice, you may in meeting with Anthony now now, have such a fit of mirth, with his firking Fiddle, that it shall be a great cause to expel choler. And so I leave you to your own liking, whether you will enter to see this sport or no: stand back I pray, room for a Gentleman, for you cannot come in under a groat.   

CHAP. 1. Containing the History of Richard Casteler: and the first of his love  
THE l●uely Maidens of the City of Westminster, noting what a good a husband Richard Casteler was and seeing how diligently he followed his business, judged in the end he would prove a rich man: for which cause many bore unto him very good affection, & few there was that wished not themselves to be his wife: insomuch that he having the custom of all the pretty Wenches in the City, by that means knew the length of every Maiden's foot so well, that he about all other best pleased them: On the Sundays when he came into the Church, the Maid's eyes were so firmly fired on him, that he could neither look forward, backward, nor on any side, but that he should be sure to have a wink of one, a smile of another the third would give a nod: and to be brief, they would all cast on him such gracious looks, that it was easy to guess by their outward countenance, their inward good william.  
And when in his Holiday's attire he passed along the streets, the Maidens (after their business was done) standing at their Master's doors and spying him, would say thus one to another: Now verily there goes a proper civil young man, wise & thrifty: yea such a one as in time will prove wondrous weal high, and without all doubt, will come to great credit & preferment these and the like words would they use of him continually, whereby he had among them such a ●enerall good opinion, that as he stood a days at his cutting board, he should be sure to have twenty curtsies made him in an hour, by Maidens that passed up and down: some would bestow on him dainty sweetnosegayes, of the fairest flowers they could found, and other some would bring him handkerchiefs of Cambric, and divers such like favours, well bewraying their friendship towards him.  
But among many that secretly affected him, I will only tell of twain, because above all the rest, their merriments do only remain in memory, the one of them was called Margaret, of the spread-Eagle, but more commonly known by the name of long Meg of Westminster: The other was a proper neat wench named Gillian of the George, both of them as wily as they were witty, who among all the Maids in Westminster were repused to be the best servants; having therefore good wages, they maintained themselves gallantly, and therewithal so honestly, that no man could quip them with bad living, though afterward it fell out otherwise, as in this history you shall hear.  
Margaret was a maiden borne in Lancashire, in height and proportion of body, passing the ordinary stature of women, but therewithal very comely, and of amiable countenance, her strength was agreeable to her stature and her courage as great as them both: she was of a quick capacity, and pleasant disposition, of a liberal heart, and such a one as would be suddenly angry, and soon pleased, being readier to revenge her wrongs by weapons, then by words: and therein did she differ from the nature of other women, because she could not abide much brabbling: and so heedful was she of her behaviour in her younger years, that her good properties far exceeding her portion, she was woo●d by divers, but would be won by none, for the man whom she most loved, lest thought upon her. And albeit she manifested her good will by divers means, yet did Richard little regard it, having his mind nothing bend unto marriage, by means whereof Margaret grew into such sad conceits as changed her cherry cheeks into a green wan countenance: in-somuch that every one wondered to see her pensiveness.  
At last it chanced that Margaret having occasion to go into London, it was her good fortune to meet with Gillian of the George, whom her mistress had sent thither to buy Comfits, and Caraways, with divers other sweet meats, for that they had a banquet bespoken by divers gallant Courtiers, which that night pointed to come thither: but so soon as Margaret spied her, she smiled, saying: Gillian now in good sadness welmet, (if thou be'st met a maid) and ill met (quoth she) not meeting so good a maid as myself: Tush said Margaret; it is good for us to think well of ourselves, for there is enough that think ill of us: marry I defy them quoth Gillian that thinks ill of me, and I respect as little their speech, as they do my profit. For a woman with a good life, fears no man with an evil tongue: If you be so hot quoth Margaret where the wind blows so cold, what will you be by that time supper is ready, where the fire will be as fierce as your choler is great? and mistake me not good Gillian, though I said men think ill of us, I mean not thereby that any go about so blemish our good names, but I suppose they think not so well of us as they might do that do not love us so well as to marry us.  
Nay said Gillian if that be all, I am at a good point; for though my maidenhead be some what burdensome to bear, yet I had rather keep it, then bestow it on a bad husband: but though I say it, though I be but a poor wench, I have choice of husbands enough, and such as I am assured in my conscience, would both love me well, and keep me gallantly. Wherefore then do you not marry quoth Margaret? in my opinion it is the most pleasingst life that may be, when a woman shall have her husband come home and speak in this sort unto her. How now Wife? how dost thou my swéet-heart? what wilt thou have? or what dost thou la●ke? and therewithal kindly embracing her, gives her a gentle kiss, saying: speak my pretty mouse, wilt thou have a cup of Claret-wine, White-wine, or Sack to supper? and then perhaps he carves unto her the leg of a Capon, or the wing of a Chicken, and if there be one bit better than other, she h●th the choice of it: And if she chance to long for any thing by and by it is sent for with all possible speed, and nothing is thought too dear to do her good At last having well refresh themselves she sets her silver whistle to her mouth, and calls her maid to clear the board: then going to the fire, he sets her on his knee, and wantonly stroking her cheek, amorously be chockes her under the chin, fetching many stealing foutches at her ruby lips, and so soon as he hears the Bell ring eight a clock, he calls her to go to bed with him. O how sweet do these words sound in a woman's ears? But when they are once close between a pair of sheets, O Gillian then, then: why what of that quoth she? Nay nothing saith Margaret, but they sleep sound all night. Truly quoth Gillian there be many wives, but few that meet with such kind husbands: but seeing you ask me why I marry not, in troth Meg I would tell thee, if I had time to stay: but I I fear I have stood too long prattling here already, and therefore farewell good Meg, when I see thee again, thou shalt know more of my mind.  
Nay Gillian hear you quoth she, go but a little way with me, and I will go home with you as strait as a line, for I have nothing to buy but a score of Quinces, and couple of Pomegranates, and that shall be done in a trice: Gillian was contented for her good companies sake to stay a while, and as soon as Margaret had made her market, they settled themselves to go homeward, where by the way Gillian entered into this communication.  
You did even now demand a question of me, and very desirous you were to know why I did not marry when I was so well offered: Trust me Margaret, I take you to be my friend, which makes me the more willing to unfold my fancy, being as well persuaded of your secrecy as I am of your amity, and there-upon I am the more willing to make you copartner of my counsels. Fire in straw will not be hidden, and the flames of affection will burst for that length, though it be long kept under. And truth it is that I have forsaken good matches, for I might have had Master Cornelius of the Guard if I would, who as you know is wealth, and therewithal of very good conversation, yet there was one thing made me refuse his kind offer: what was that quoth Margaret. I pray thee tell? Quoth she, he loved not me so well but I loved another ten times better, and therefore it is not good for hands to join, where hearts agree not. Not Meg, not, there is a youth in our street that nearer touches my heart and better pleases my mind, notwithstanding he shall go nameless, for it is an old proverb, two may keep counsel if one be away. Nay then quoth Meg, if you dare not trust me tell nofurther, notwithstanding I have had credit in as great matters as yours, for many a man hath put his life in my hands, & found no hurt thereby, and as many women have committed their secrets to me, as men have ventured their bodies with me. Go to Margaret, you are disposed to jest said Gillian, but swear by thy Maidenhead that thou wilt never bewray my liking, nor prevent me in my love, & I will show thee all: nay fie do not so quoth Margaret, show not all for shame, lest more see it then myself, for so may they blush at thy boldness, and nothing commend thy modesty: but it is happy that I have a maidenhead left to swear by: else I perceive I should know nothing of thee: not trust me quoth Gillian, for such a one as cannot keep her Maidenhead, will never keep a secret, and that made Katherine of the Crane to be such a blab: but now Meg I will proceed to the matter. What do you think by Richard of the Rose, the wakeful cock of Westminster?  
O h● quoth Meg, is that the man? there is no reason I should think amiss of him that every man commends: nevertheless, he is no body in respect of riches, being but a young housekeeper of one years standing, a man God wots unacquainted with the world's guise, and to speak truth nothing comparable to Master Cornelius. I will tell thee what quoth Gillian, that man which needeth neither to flatter with his friends, nor borrow of his neighbours, hath riche● sufficient: and he is most poor that hath lest wit, by which arguments I am able to prove, that the Cock is as wealth as he is wary, for he will sure be beholding to no body, or to as few as he may, and it is all ways to be noted that men of such minds do never prove beggars.  
Margaret hearing Gillian so stoutly to take Richard's part, perceived by her vehement spéches the great affection she bore to him, and finding that she was sick of her own disease, Margaret sought means to remove the cause of her grief, & thereby thrust herself into the greater sorrow: And the policy she used most herein, was to speak altogether in Richard's dispraise, seeking thereby to dislodge her love, and the more firmly to plant her own, whereupon she uttered her mind in this sort.  
Well Gillian, seeing you bear so good an opinion of Richard of the Rose, I would not for a bushel of Angels seek to dissuade you: but because you request my opinion how I like the man, in troth I will tell thee my mind without fraud or flattory: I confess that Richard is a gentle young man, courteous and kind, diligent about his business, and wary in his dealings, which argues good husbandry. Notwithstanding, I like not these over covetous fellows, of such greedy minds, such penny fathers, and pinchf●●stes, that will not part from the paring of their nails, nor the dropping of their nose, if they thought it would yield them but the fourth part of a farthing. Tell me I pray thee what joy should a woman have with such a churl, that would grudge at every halfpenny that is laid out that in a whole year would not leave a farthing worth of mustard unwritten in his book: And such a one I fear will this Cock prove, for me thinks he looks with a hungry nose, and howsoever you think of him, I know not, but I verily fear though he be a Cock by name, he will never prove a Cock of the game. Again he is but a dwarf in respect of a man, a shrimp, a Wren, a hop of my thumb, such a one as a body might hide in a wrinkle of their buttocks.  
Well Meg quoth she, you are privileged to speak your pleasure, but should another thus mistearme him, I would tear her face: I tell thee true I had rather have a winner then a waster, a sparer then a prodigal spender: for when a man in his youth, hath gotten something with pain, he may the better spend it in his age with pleasure, and fare better it is he should be thought covetous, then careless; his stature and proportion of body pleases me well enough, for it is no matter how great he is, but how good he is.  
But Margaret seeing our talk hath endured so long, that it hath brought us both home, let us at our parting be mindful of our promises, to keep secret whatsoever hath been said, for little knows the young man the depth of my mind, and therefore would I keep it close, till I saw some sign of good will proceeding from him, for it becometh not maidens to be wooers, though willingly they could wish to wed where they best fancy, and so farewell sweet Margaret. Adieu gentle Gillian quoth Margaret, until our next meeting, when I hope I shall further understand of your proceedings in your love.  
When Meg had thus understood her mind, and saw how she matter went, she sought all means possible to preventher, as hereafter shall be shown.   

CHAP. 2. How Margaret requested Richard to the eating of a Posset at night: And how her Master's buttocks was scalded therewith.  
IT chanced that against Whitsuntide, Margaret stood in need of a new pair of Shoes: Therefore in a morning betimes she came to Richard of the Rose to bespeak them aforehand, and the more to declare her kindness, and to win his good will, she carried with her a bottle of excellent good Muskadine, which one of the Yeomen of the King's wine seller had bestowed upon her: and to make it relish the better, she carried with her a dainty piece of powdered beef, and the tender carcase of a cold Capon, and thus pleasant began to greet him. All health to the kind cock of Westminster, that with the Lark gréetes the Sun rising with a cheerful note, and mounts above many to the love of pretty lasses. Tell me quoth she thou bouny Lad, wilt thou take the length of my foot, and make me a good pair of shoes against Sunday? that I will Margaret quoth he, therefore let me see thy foot: there is both my foot and leg said Meg, I am not ashamed to show either of them, for I am not legged like a Crane, nor footed like a Fly, and therewith lift up her  to the knee, whereat Richard smiling said; a little higher Meg and show all: whereupon she suddenly replied in this sort: soft Richard not so, for I will tell thee one thing.  
Every Carter may reach to the garter,  
A Shoemaker he may reach to the knee,  
But he that creeps higher shall ask leave of me.  
Good reason quoth Richard, leave is light, which being obtained a man may be bold without offence, but this only is my grief. I have never a Last in my shop long enough for thy foot: then I would they were all fired quoth Meg. He that will be counted a good workman must have fools to fit all persons and I muse that you which strive to be counted excellent, will want necessaries: Fie Richard fie, thou shouldest never be unprovided especially for women.  
Well Meg quoth he, be contented, consider you are a woman of no ordinary making, but as in height thou overlookest all, so in the length of thy foot thou surpassest all; therefore I must have a pair of Lasts made for the nonce, and that shall be done out of hand: I tell thee Dick quoth she, as high as I am, I am not so high as Paul's nor is my foot so long as Grausend Barge. Notwithstanding quoth Richard, a pair of Lasts to fit thy foot will cost as much as a hundred of faggots which will not be bought under ten groats: if they cost a crown quoth Meg, let me have them; what man rather than I will go without shoes I will bear the charge thereof myself and in token that I mean troth, take there the money, thou shalt found me no Crinkler, but one that will reward cunning to the uttermost: I love not to pinch for a penny, or stand upon terms for two pence, if I found my shoes good I will not shrink for a shilling; In troth quoth Richard frank customers are worthy of good ware, and therefore Meg doubt not, for thou shalt have as good a shoe as ever was drawn upon woman's foot, God a mercy for that sweet Dick quoth she, and seeing thou sayest so, I will bestow this bottle of wine on thee to breakfast, beside that, I have brought here a modscome that will prove as good a shooing-horn to draw down a cup of Muskadine as may be: and therewithal she plucked out her powdered beef and her cold Capon; Richard seeing this, with thanks to Margaret for her meat, reached out a couple of join stools, and after that they had laid a cloth thereon, they down did sit, at which time many merry speeches did pass between them. And at that very time there was in the same shop, amongst a great many other men a pleasant journey man called round Robin, being a well trust fellow short and thick, yet very active and pleasantly conceited: for singing he was held in high reputation among all the Shoemakers in Westminster, and he would scant speak any thing but in rhyme. This jolly companion seeing them bend so well to their breakfast, and nothing at all to respect him, in the place where he sat cast out these merry speeches unto them.  
Much good do it you masters and well may you far,  
Beshroe both your hearts and if you do spare:  
The wine should be naught as I judge by the smell,  
And by the colour too I know it full well.  
Nay faith quoth Meg that's but a jest,  
I'll swear quoth Robin 'tis none of the best.  
Taste it quoth Meg, then tell me thy mind:  
Yea marry quoth Robin now you are kind.  
With that Margaret filling a cup brim full, gave it into his hand saying: Now taste it Robin and take there the cup. Nay hung me quoth Robin if I drink it not up.  
By my Maidenhead quoth Margaret, I see that thou art a good fellow: and to have thee drink it up, is the thing that I crave.  
Then swear quoth Robin by the thing you have,  
For this to swear I dare be bold:  
You were a maid at three years old.  
From three to four, five, six, and seven,  
But when you grew to be eleven,  
Than you began to breed desire;  
By twelve your fancy was on fire:  
At thirteen year's desire grew quick,  
And then your maidenhead fell sick:  
But when you came unto fourteen,  
All secret kisses was not seen:  
By that time fifteen years was past,  
I guess your maidenhead was lost.  
And I pray God forgive me this,  
If thinking so I think amiss.  
Now by my honesty quoth Meg you do me mighty wrong to think so ill of me: for though indeed I confess, I cannot excuse myself, for women are not Angels, though they have Angels aces: for to sp●ake the truth might I have had my own hearts desire when time was, I would rather have chosen to lie with a man then a maid, but such merry motions were out of my mind many a dear day ago, and now I vow that a maiden I will die.  
By this wine quoth Robin I dare swear you lie,  
For were I as my master by this good light,  
You would lose your maiden head ere twelve a clock at night.  
With high derry derry,  
If it be not gone already.  
Nay quoth Margaret your Master scorns me, he kéeps all his gowns for Gillian of the George: a pretty wench I confess, having a proper body but a bad leg, she hath a very good counteance but an ill colour, and you talk of desire, but her desire I doubt will bring her the green sickness, if your master like a good Physician give her not a medicine against that malady: why Margaret quoth Richard, hath she told you so much of her mind, that you know her grief so well? It may be she hath quoth Margaret, but whether she did or not, it is sufficient that I know so much: But I think quoth Margaret you are not so besotted to make any account of a Tallow cake.  
No faith quoth Robin, a nutbrown girl,  
Is in mine eye a Diamond and a Pearl:  
And she that hath her cheeks cherry read,  
Is ever best welcome to a young man's bed.  
Certainly quoth Richard, which is the best or worst I know not yet, nor do I mean hastily to prove; and as Gillian of the George, as she hath no reason to hate me, so she hath no cause to love me: but if she do, it is more favour than I did ever merit at her hand, and surely were it but in regard of her good will, I am not to scorn her nor for her favour to feed her with flouts, but for her good thoughts of me to think well of her, though not so well as to make her my wife: Well said Master, quoth Robin.  
In this sort grinned you still,  
So shall we have more sacks to mill.  
Trust me quoth Margaret, I speak not this so much to disgrace Gillian, as for the regard I have to your credit: but to make an end of Gillian and this jest altogether, let me entreat you soon at night to come to our house; and think this, though your cheer chance to be small your welcome shall be great. I know that this Summer (and especially against these holidays) you will work till ten, and I promise' you by eleven I will have as good a posset for you, as ever you did taste on in your life. My master is an old man, and he commonly goes to bed at nine, and as for my mistress, I know where she will be safe till midnight mass be ended, so that for an hour we may be as merry as pope john: what say you Richard quoth she, will you come? In troth Margaret quoth he, I hearty thank you for your good will, I would willingly come but I love not to be from home so late.  
I think so quoth Robin lest you should miss Kate,  
But take my counsel, when you are with Meg:  
Suppose you have got fine Kate by the leg.  
Robin said he, thou art so full of thy rhyme, that often thou, art without reason; thou seest that Margaret hath been at cost with us to day, and it is more than good manners to charge her further, before we have made amendss for this: and beside that late walking in the evening brings young men into much suspicion. Tush quoth Margaret, once and use it not, is not such a matter: therefore sweet Richard you shall come, and you shall not say me nay, therefore I charge you on pain of displeasure not to fail, and forget not to bring round Robin with you, and so farewell.  
No faith quoth Robin, it shall not need,  
I am bidden already and so God speed.  
Who bade thee quoth Margaret?  
What are thy wits so unsteady?  
You did bid me quoth Robin, have you forgot already?  
Why then I pray thee good Robin said Meg, do not forget in any case, and put thy Master in mind thereof if he should chance to change his opinion, or overslip the time through greediness of work for I faith Robin if thou bring him along with thee, I will think the better of thee while I live: why then quoth he.  
And as I am no knight,  
We will come to eat the posset soon at night.  
Now Margaret was no sooner gone, and Richard at his cutting board, and Robin set on his stool, but in comes Gillian of the George, bringing in her apron the corner of a Venison Pastry, and a good deal of a Lamb pie, who with a smiling countenance entering the shop, bidding Richard good morrow, asked if he had broke his fast? yes verily quoth Richard I thank long Meg, we have been at it this morning, and had you come a little sooner you had found her here, for she went away but even now, and I verily think she is scant at home yet.  
'tis a lusty wench quoth Robin gentle and kind,  
And in truth she bears a most bountiful mind.  
Gillian hearing Robin to enter into Megs commendations, began to grow jealous of the matter: out upon her foul stammel quoth she, he that takes her to his wife shall be sure of flesh enough, let him get bread where he can: 'tis such a bold betrice, she will acquaint herself with every body. Notwithstanding this I will tell you Richard, the less she comes in your company, the more it will before your credit. And howsoever she deserves it, God knows, I cannot accuse her, but I promise' you she hath but a hard report among many. But letting her rest as she is, see here what I have brought you, and with that she gave him the Venison and the rest, and drawing her purse, she would needs sand for a quart of wine, Richard sought to persuade her to the contrary, but she would not be entreated; what man quoth she, I am able to give you a quart of wine. That's spoke like an Angel quoth Robin.  
And this I do think,  
If you be able to give it, we be able to drink.  
Hereupon the wine was fetched, and so they sat them down to their meat, at what time they fed not so hearty on the Venison pasty, but Gillian's eye fed as greedily on Richard's faour: & as soon as the wine was come, she plucktout of her pocket a good piece of sugar, & filling a glass of wine tempered well therewith, she drank to him saying: here Richard to all that love you and me, but especially to him whom I love best: let it come quoth Richard, I will pledge him whosoever it be.  
So will I quoth Robin without any fail,  
Were it the best Hippocras, I would turn it over my nail.  
Then Gillian looking round about spoke to this effect: verily Richard here is a pretty house, and every thing handsome by Saint Anne, I see nothing wanting but a good wise to keep all things in his due kind: whereunto Robin made this answer.  
Now speak thy conscience, and tell me good Gill,  
Wouldst not thou be that good wife, with a good will?  
Who I? alas quoth she, your Master scorns me, he looks for a golden girl, or a girl with gold, that might bring him the read ruddocks thinking in a bag, and yet possible he were better to have one with less money, and more housewifery: for my own part I thank God, and in a good time may I speak it, I would not come to learn of never a woman in Westminster, how to deal in such affairs: I think no less quoth Richard, and therefore I pray God sand you a good husband, and one well deserving so good a wife: with that Gillian fetched a great sigh, saying; Amen I pray God, for it is a sinful thing to lead a sinful life, except: Nay, say your mind, speak your mind quoth Richard: Why quoth she? it is written, that we shall give an account for every idle word, and that ill thoughts are as bad as wanton deeds: it is true quoth Richard, than God help us all quoth Gillian, but if I were married, I should remove a great many of them. Why then marry me quoth Robin, and thereby prevent the peril of bad thoughts: hark in thy ear Robin quoth she, I would thy Master would say as much and then he should soon know my mind.  
Ha', ha', quoth Robin, I faith you drab,  
And would you have him to stamp the crab?  
Why what is the matter quoth Richard? nay nothing quoth Gillian, but that I was bold to jest with your man, and I hope you will not be offended if he and I talk a word or two. There is no reason I should quoth Richard, and therefore confer at your pleasure, and the whilst I will be busy with the Lamb pie, than Gillian rounding Robin in the ear, spoke in this sort unto him. I perceive you can spy day at a little hole: you may see Robin, love is like an unruly stream that will overflow the banks if the course be once stopped, as by my speeches no doubt you have noted: nevertheless how forcible soever fancy is, it is thought small modesty in a maiden to lay open her heart in those cases, but I am of opinion that affection growing as strong in a woman as a man, they aught to have equal priv●ledge, as well as men to speak their minds. Robi●, I take thee to be an honest fellow, and it is the part of a man in cases of honest love to assist poor maidens: counsel the key of certainty, which makes me to require bo●h thy counsel and help In truth Robin to be●laine, I love thy Master with all my heart: and if thou wouldst be so much my friend to break the matter unto him and therewithal to procure his good liking to me, I would bestow on thee as good a suit of apparel as ever thou wast m●ster of in thy life: whereunto Robin answered, saying, 
here's my hand Gillian, at thy request  
I'll make a vow I'll do my best,  
But for my apparel grant me this,  
In earnest first to give me a kiss.   
There it is quoth Gillian and I do protest, that upon that blessed day, when h● gives his happy consent to be my husband, at the delivery of thy apparel I will make that one kiss twenty, and hereupon shaking hands, they came to the tabl● and set them down again. Richard marking all, said nothing, but at her approach to the board took the glass and drunk to her, giving her thanks for her cost and kindness: she gladly accepting the same, bending her body in stead of curtsy, took it at his hands, and with a wink drunk unto Robi●, and so taking her leave of them both as light as a Do she ran speedily ho●●.  
So soon as she was gone, Robin told his Master it was the pleasantest life in the world to live a Bachelor, during which time he could neither want good cheer nor good comp●ny: I marry quoth Richard, but what I get one way I spend another way, while I pass the time in trifling about nothing: you see quoth he, here is a forenoon spent to no purpose, and all by the m●ans of a couple of giglots, that have greater desire to be playing with a man, then to be mindful to follow their business: but if I live I will suddenly avoid both their delights and their loves. I tell thee Robin, I accounted their favours full of fraud, and their enticements dangerous, and therefore a man must not be won with fair words as a fish with a bait.  
Well Master quoth Robin, all is one to me, whether you love them or loathe, but yet soon at night let not the posset be for got.  
Believe me quoth Richard, if I rest in the mind I am in now, I mean not to be there at all. O than you will lose her love, quoth Robin for ever and ever Amen: that, said his Master is the only thing that I request, for the love of a shrew is like the shadow of a cloud that consumeth as soon as it is seen, and such love had I rather lose then found.  
But yet quoth Robin, this once follow my mind  
Though by her love you set but light,  
Let us eat the posset soon at night:  
And afterward I will so deal,  
If you will not my tricks reveal:  
That they shall trouble you no more,  
Though by your love they set great store:  
For one another they shall beguile,  
Yet think themselves well pleased the while.  
Verily quoth his Master, if thou wilt do so, I will be Megs guest for this once, and happy shall I think myself to be so well rid of them: Hereupon being resolved, they plied their work hard till the evening, and when the Sun was crept under the earth, and the Stars up in the skies, Richard having his shop window shut in and his doors made fast, he with his man Robin, took their direct way to the spread Eagle, where they no sooner knocked at the door, but Margaret came down and let them in, with such a cheerful countenance, as gave perfect testimony of their welcome. Now Richard quoth she, I will witness you are a man of your word, and a man that hath a respect of his promise: I pray you heartily come near, for to have you come in my office, is my desire: but tell us first quoth Robin, was your office never a fire? Y faith no quoth she, you see the kitchen is large and the chimney wide: but how many rooks quoth Robin, hath the goodness of your kitchen tried? I know not said Meg, how many or how few: trust me quoth Robin I think even so. Go to quoth Meg, I smell out your knavery, and guess at your meaning, but taking it to be spoken more for mirth, then for malice, I let them pass. Then taking Richard by the hand, she had him sit down saying, good Richard think yourself welcome, for in froth I have never a friend in the world that can be better welcome: I thank you good Magaret said he.  
I thank her still quoth Robin, with thanks of every degree,  
For you that have all the welcome, shall give all thanks for me,  
Why Robin q. Meg, be not offended for thou art welcome to me, I faith quoth he, you bid me welcome when you have nothing else to do.  
Herewithal Margaret very neatly laying the cloth, with all things necessary, set a dainty minst pie on the board piping hot, with a great deal of other good cheer, and having sent another maid of the house for a pottle of wine, they fell to their meat merrily, whereof when they had eaten and drunk, Margaret stepping from the board went to reach the posset, but while she had it in her hands she suddenly heard one coming down the stairs: Gods precious quoth she, my Mastercomes, what shift shall we make to hide the posset, if he chance to see it, we shall have more anger than ten possets are worth with that she quickly whipped into she yard, and set the posset down upon the seat in the privy-house, thinking it there safest out of sight, for her Master being an old crabbed fellow, would often steal down to see what his maids were a doing, but God wots that was not the cause; for the old man being raised by the looseness of his body, came hastily down to pay tribute to Aiax, where when he was come, he clapped his buttocks into the posset, where with being grievously scalded, he cried out saying, alack, alack, help maids, help, or I am spoilt for ever; for some spirit or devil in the foul bottom of the privy hath thrown up boiling lead upon my buttocks and in this case like one dancing the trench more he stamped up and down the yard, holding his hips in his hands: Meg that better knew what the matter was then her master, ran into the house of office with a spit in her hand, as if she had been purposed to broach the devil, and there casting the well spiced posset into the midst of the puddle taking the basin away, said, how now Master, what is the matter, who hath hurt you, or are you not hurt at all? Hurt quoth her master, I fell thee Meg, never was man thus hurt, and yet I am ashamed to show my hurt: bring me a Candle quoth Meg, I tell you Master, it is better all should be shown, than all should be spoilt: and there with casting by his shirt, spied both his great cheeks full of small blisters, whereupon she was fain with all possible speed to make him a medicine with salad oil and houseléeks, to assuage the fury of an unseen fire. And by means of this unhappy chance, Richard with his man was fain secretly to slip away, and to go home without tasting the posset at all: which was to Robin no small grief, and yet they could both of them scant stand for laughing, to think how oddly this, lest fell out.  
I am quoth Robin, forty years old and more,  
Yet did I never know posset, so tasted before:  
I think his eyes in his Elbows he had,  
To thrust his arse in the posset, or else he was mad.  
His master answering said, believe me Robin, I never knew she like in my life, but by the grace of God I will never go there no more to eat a posset: and so going to bed they slept away sorrow till morning. At what time Margaret coming thither told them she was very sorry they were so suddenly broke from their banquet; but Y faith Richard (quoth she) another time shall make amendss for all.   

CHAP. 3. How the Cock of Westminster was married to a Dutch maiden, for which cause Long Meg, and Gillian of the George, wore willow Garlands.  
RIchard Casteler living a long time a Bachelor in Westminster, after many good proffers made unto him, refusing all he at last linked his love to a young Dutch maiden dwelling in London, who besides that, was of proper personage, and comely countenance, and could do diverse pretty feats to get her own living To this pretty soul went Richard secretly a wooing, who for half a year set as light by him, as he did by the Maidens of Westminster, And the more he was denied, the more desirous is he was to seek her good will, much like to an unruly patient, that most lunges after the meat he is most forbidden: and such is the fury of fond Lovers, to esteem them most precious, that are to them most pernicious: he scornfully shuns such as gently seeks him, and woos her earnestly that shakes him off frowardly: but while he was thus busied to make himself blessed by matching with a Maiden in London, round Robin cast in his mind how to set the Maiden's wits a work in Westminster, which he effected as occasion was offered in this sort.  
Margaret and Gillian coming often by the shop, cast many a sheep's eye to spy out their beloved friend, and after they had many times missed him from his business, they thought either that he was grown lovesick or lazy: but knowing him a man to be mightily addicted to the getting of money, judged that it was not idleness, that withdrew him from his business, but rather that he was gone a wooing to one pretty wench or other, for loving hearts have ever suspicious heads and jealousy is copartner with affection: whereupon Margaret entered into these speeches with round Robin.  
I muse much quoth Meg, where pour Master lays his knife a board now adays, for seldom or never can I see him in his shop: trust me, I doubt, he is become thriftless, and will prove but a bad husband in the end: tell me Robin said she, I pray thee say where doth the Cock crow now?  
Not so said Robin, my Master will not that allow,  
I must not show his secrets to one or other:  
Therefore you shall not know it though you were my mother,  
Yet thus much by thy speech I plainly do see,  
Thou thinkest not so well of him as he thinks on thee.  
Margaret hearing round Robin rhyme to so good purpose, asked if he knew his Master's mind so much? truly, quoth she, if I witted he bore any spark of love toward me, it should neither go unregarded nor unrewarded, therefore sweet Robin let me know whereupon thou speakest; fear not my secrecy, for I will rather lose my life then bewray his love. Hereupon Robin said, that his Master was very well affected towards her, and that if it were not that Gillian of the George did cast searching eyes into his actions, he would long ere this h●ve uttered his mind: but quoth Robin, he is so haunted by that female spirit, that he can take no rest in no place for her, and therefore the more to quiet his mind, he hath left his shop to my charge, and betaken himself to wander the Woods so wild.  
These words uttered by Robin made Margaret's heart leap in her belly: wherefore taking gently her leave of him, she thus began to meditate on the master: Now do I well see that the tongue of a wise man is in his heart, but the heart of a fool is in his tongue: and Richard quo h she, hast thou borne me such secret good will and would never let me know it? Iwis, Iwis, soon would thy sorrow be assuaged if thou soughtest remedy at my hand: well though the fire be long suppressed, at length it will burst into a flame and Richard's secret good will, at last will show itself, till when I will rest myself contented, thinking it sufficient that I know he loves me: and seeing it is so, I will make him sue and serve, and dance attendance after me: when he is most courteous, I will be most ●●y, and as it were scorning his proffers, and shunning his presence, I will make him the more earnest to entreat my favour: when he says he loves me, I will laugh at him, and say he canfaine and flatter well: if he affirm he be grieved through my disdain, and that the lack of my good will hath been his greatest sorrow, I will say alas good soul, how long have you been lovesick? pluck out thy heart man and be of good cheer, there is more maids than Malkin: though I do lightly esteem thee there are some that perhaps will better regard both thy grief, and thy good will: and therefore good Dick trouble me no more.  
Thus must maids dissemble lest they be counted too courteous and showing themselves over fond, become the less favoured, for a woman's love being hardly obtained, is esteemed most sweet, therefore we must give our lovers an hundred denials for fashion sake, though at the first we could found in our hearts to accept their proffered pleasures.  
Thus in a jolly humour Margaret letted home, flattering herself in her happy fortune, in which delight we will leave her, and make some rehearsal of Gillian's joy: who coming in the like manner to Robin, ask for his Master, was certified by him, that for her sake only he lived in such sorrow, that he could not stay in his shop, and therefore was fain to drive away melancholy by marching abroad. O Gillian (quoth he) had it not been for two causes, he would long ere this have uttered his mind unto thee, for he love's thee above measure: Y faith, quoth Gillian, is it true (Robin) that thou dost tell me? Doubt not of that (quoth he) do you think that I will tell you a lie? I should gain nothing by that I am sure: if then you will believe me you may, if not choose, I mean not to entreat you thereto: Nay good Robin (quoth she) be not angry, though I credit thy speeches, yet blame me not to ask a question, ask what you will quoth Robin, I respect it not, and I may choose whether I will answer you or no: 'Swounds, now I have opened my masters secret, you were best blab it through all the town. Nay good Robin that is not my mind quoth Gillian, but I beseech thee, let me know those two causes that keeps thy Master from uttering his mind: Nay soft, there lay a straw for fear of stumbling quoth Robin, hold your peace Gillian, it is not good to eat too much honey, nor to gorge you with too much gladness: let it suffice that you know what you know. Nay good sweet Robin quoth she, I pray thee make it not dainty now to tell me all, seeing you have begun: the day may come that I may requited thy courtesy to the full: Say you so, Gillian quoth he? now by good Crispianus soul I swear, were it not that I am in hope you will prove kind to my Master, and be a good Mistress to us when you are married, I would not utter one word more, not not half a word, nor one syllable. Well Robin quoth she if ever I come to command in thy master's house, and to carry the keys of his Cubberts gingling at my sides, thou shalt see I will not keep a niggards Table, to have bore platters brought from the board, but you shall have meat and drink plenty, and be used as men aught to be used in all reasonable manner. And whereas you seem to make doubt of my kindness toward thy Master ha' Robin, I would thou knewest my heart.  
Robin hearing this, told her this tale, that his master loved her intyrely, and would long since have uttered his mind, but for two reasons: the first was, that he could never found fit opportunity to do it, because of Long Meg, whose love to him was more than he could wish, and such as he would gladly remove if he might: for saith Robin, though my Master do not care a straw for her, yet she casts such a vigilant eye upon him, that if he do but speak, or look upon any, she by and by powts and lours, and many times inveyes against the parties with disgraceful terms, which is to my Master such a grief, that he is fain to keep silent, what otherwise should be shown: and the second reason is this, that because he is not so wealth as he could wish himself, you would disdain his suit, and make no account of his good william. Who I quoth Gillian? now by these ten bones it was never my mind to say him nay. I tell thee Robin I do more respect his kindness then his goods: he is a proper youth and well conditioned, and it is far better to have a man without money, than money without a man. Why then good Gillian quoth Robin, hearken hither three days hence, and you shall hear more, but in the mean space look you play mum budget, and speak not a word of this matter to any creature. I warrant thee Robin quoth she, and so away she went being as glad of this tidings as her Master was of a good Term: Now when his Master came home, his man Robin asked him how he sped in his suit? verily quoth he, even as Cooks do in baking of their pies, sometimes well, sometimes ill. London Maids are wily wenches: on Sunday my swéet-heart was half won, but now I doubt she is wholly lost. Now she is in one mind, by and by in another, and to be brief never steadfast in any thing.  
Tush Master quoth Robin, stoop not too much to a thistle, but take this comfort, that what one will not another will: I tell you Master, Crabs yields nothing but verjuice, a sour sauce good ●or digestion but bad to the taste, and these nice minions are so full of curiosity, that they are clean without courtesy: Yet well far the gallant girls of Westminster, that will do more for a man than he will do for himself. What is that said his Master? marry quoth he, get him a wife ere he is ware, and give two kisses before he calls for one. Th●t indeed is extraordinary kindness quoth Richard, but their loves are like brai●ed wares, which are often shown, but hardly sold.  
Well Master quoth Robin, you know your two old friends Meg and Gillian: I, what of them quoth Richard? Introth quoth he, I have made them both so proud, that they pr●nce through the streets like the King's great horses: for I have made them both believe that you love them out of all cry. And I beshroe thy heart for that quosh Richard, for therein thou dost both deceive them, and discredit me: I assure thee I like not such je●ting.  
Now gip quoth Robin are you grieved at my talk?  
And if you be angry I pray you go walk.  
Thus you do never esteem of a man,  
Let him do for you the best that he can.  
Richard hearing his man so hot, pacified him with many cold and gentle speeches, wishing if he had begun any jest, that he should finish it with such discretion, that no reproach might grow thereby unto him, and then he would be content: whereupon Robin proceeded in this sort.  
Upon a time Margaret according to her wont manner came thither, whom Robin persuaded that his Master was newly gone into Tuttle field, and that he left word if she came she should do so much as to meet him there: but quoth he, take heed in any case lest Gillian of the George spy you, and so follow to the place where my Master attends your coming, who I dare swear would not for all the Shoes in his shop it should be so: and therefore good Margaret if you chance to see her, go not forward in any case, but rather lead her a contrary way, or make some quaint excuse, that she may leave your company, and not suspect your pretence. Tush quoth Margaret, let me alone for that, if she follow me she were better no, for I faith I will lead her a dance shall make her weary before she have done, and yet shall she go home as very a fool as she came forth, for any goodness she gets at my hand: and therefore farewell Robin quoth she, for I will trudge into Tuttle fields as fast as I may.  
But look quoth Robin, you lose not your Maidenhead by the way.  
Robin presently thereupon runs unto Gillian, saying what cheer Gillian, how goes the world with all the pretty wenches here? it is a long while since I have seen you.  
I faith Robin quoth they, we rub out with the rest, but what is the news with thee?  
Small news quoth Robin yet somewhat I have to say,  
All Maids that cannot get husbands must presently marry,  
They that cannot stay,  
But hear you Gillian a word by the way.  
And with that (rounding her in the ear) he told her that incontinent it was his Master's mind that she should meet him in Tuttle fields, charging her if she met Margaret of the Crane, that she should in no case go forward, but turn her steps some other way, for quoth he, my Master cannot abide that great rounsefull should come in his company.  
For that let me alone quoth Gillian, but trust me Robin, it could not have come in a worse time this twelve month, for this day have we a mighty deal of work to do, beside a great buck that is to be washed: why then let it rest till another time quoth Robin: nay quoth she, hap what hap will, I will go to him, sith so kindly he sent for me; and thereupon making herself quickly ready, into Tuttle fields she got, where at last she espied Margaret with a hand-basket in her hand, who as suddenly had got a sight of her, and therefore made a show as if she gathered herbs in the field. I wis that craft shall not serve your turn quoth Gillian, I will gather herbs as fast as you, though I have as little need of them as yourself.  
But in the mean time Robin got him home, and heartily laughed to see what pains these wenches took for a husband. O quoth he, what a merry world is this, when Maids runs a madding for husband's, with hand-baskets in their hands? now may I well swear what I have seen.  
Two Maids run as fast as they can,  
A mile in the fields to meet with a man.  
Then how can men for shame say that Maidens are proud, disdainful or coy, when we found them so gentle, that they will run to a man like a Falcon to the Lure, but alas poor souls, as good were they to seek for a needle in a bottle of hay, as to search for Richard of the Rose in Tuttle fields: but hereby do I know their minds against another time, if my Master should chance to request their company.  
Thus did round Robin deride them when he found their fondness to be such: but to leave him to his humour, we will return to the Maids that were so busy in picking up herbs in the fields: wh●n Meg saw that Gillian would not away at last she came unto her, ask what she made there? Nay what do you here quoth she? for my own ●art I was sent for to seek Hearts-ease, but I can found nothing bu● sorrel: Alack good soul quoth M g, and I come to gather thrift but can light on nothing but thistles, and therefore I will get m● ways home as fast as I can: In doing so you shall do well quoth G●llian, but I mean to get some Heart's ease ere I go away: Nay Gillian quoth she, I am sure I shall found thrift as soon as you shall found Hearts-ease, but I promise' you I am out of hope to found any to day, I pray you get you gone then quoth she, what would you so fain be rid of my company quoth Meg? for that word I mean not to be gone yet: I faith Gill I smell a rat.  
Then quoth she you have as good a nose as our grey Cat: but what rat do you smell tell me? I doubt I doubt if there be any rat in the field, you would fain catch him in your trap if you knew how; but I faith Meg you shall be deceived as cunning as you are. Then belike qd. Meg you would not have the rat taste no cheese but your own: all is one for that said Gillian, but wheresoever he run I would have him creep into no corner of yours: Your words are mystical quoth Meg. but if thou art a good wench, let us go home together: not so said Gillian, as I came not with you, so I mean not to go with you.  
Not quoth Meg? before God I swear I will stay as long as thou for thy life. In troth quoth she, I will make you stay till midnight then. Yea quoth Meg? now as sure as I live I will try that. And in this humour sometimes they sat them down, and sometimes they stalked round about the field, till it was dark night, and so late, that at last the watch met with them, who contrary to Gillian's mind, took pains to bring them home both together: at what time they gave one another such privy flouts, that the watchmen took no little delight to hear it: But their Mistresses that had so long missed them from home though they were very angry with their long absence. yet were glad they were come again. And ask where they had been so long, the watchmen answered, that the one had been to seek Hearts-ease, and the other to gather thrift and therefore that they should not blame them for staying so long to get such good commodities: Verily quoth their Mistresses we will not, for no marvel if they stayed out till midnight about such matters, seeing we have sought it this seven years and could never found it: and in this sort this jest ended.  
Within a while after this, Richard through his long wooing, had gotten the good will of his swéet-heart, and therefore making all things ready for his marriage, the mat●er being known through Westminster, Margaret and Gillian, had tidings thereof with the soon, who coming unto Richard said he was the most false and unconstant man in the world. Have I quoth Meg, set my whole mind upon thee to been thus served? Nay quoth Gillian, have I loved thee so dearly, and endured such sorrow for thy sake, to be thus unkindly cast off? And I quoth Meg. that never thought any thing too much for thee, that loved thee bet●er than my life, that was at all times ready at thy call, and ready to run or go at thy commandment to be so undeservedly forsaken, grieves not my heart a little: Nay quoth Gil●ian could you make me leave my work to wait upon th●● in Tut●le-fields? Nay did I wait there half a day together quoth Meg, at thy request to be thus mocked at th● hand? Now I wish it from my heart, if thou marriest any but me, that thy ●ife may make thee as errant a Cuckold as ●ack Coomes. So you ●re very charitable quoth Richard, to wish me no worse than ●ou mean to make your husband: but when did I request th●e to come into Tuttle-fields? What have you so weak a memory quoth she? I pray you ask your m●n round Robin wrether it were so or no: Well quoth Robin how then? wherefore did you no● speak with him at that present?  
You know it comes in an hour, comes not in seven year,  
Had you met him at that instant you had married him clear.  
A vengeance take her quoth Meg I could not mée●e him for Gillian. And I could not meet him for Margaret, a mor in take her ●d Gillian. Richard perceiving by their speech there was a pad lying in the straw, made this reply. It is a strange thing to see how you will blame me of discourtesy, when the whole fault lies in yourselves: had you come at the appointed time, it is likely I had married one of you, seeing my mind was as well addicted to the one as to the other: Why may it not be yet quoth they, if it please you? not so said Richard, you speak too late, men gather no grapes in january, my wine is already provided, and my wife prepared: therefore I thank you both of your good wills, though I be constrained of force to forsake you the maidens being herewith struck into their dumps, with water in their eyes, and grief in their hearts went home, to whom Robin carried two Willow garlands, saying.  
You pretty souls that forsaken be,  
Take here the branches of the Willow tree,  
And sing loves farewell jointly with me.  
Meg being merrily inclined, shaken off sorrow in this sort, and gently taking the willow Garland, said: wherefore is grief good? can it recall folly past? no: can it help a matter remediless? no: can it restore losses, or draw us out of danger? no: what then? can grief make unkind men courteous? no: can it bring long life? no: for it doth rather hasten our death, what then can it do: can it call our friends out of their graves? no: can it restore virginity if we chance to loose our maidenhead? no: Then wherefore should I grieve? except I went to kill myself: Nay seeing it is so, hung sorrow, I will never care for them that care not for me, and therefore a Fig for the Cock of Westminster: by this good day I am glad I have scaped him, for I do now consider I should have never took rest after four a clock in the morning, and alas a young married wife would be loathe to rise before eight or nine: beside that I should never have gone to bed before ten or eleven, or twelve a clock at night by that means, what a deal of time should I have lost about other women: have him quoth you? now God bless me, I swear by Venus, the fair goddess of sweet love, in t●● mind I am in, I would not have him, if he had so much as would lie in Westminster Hall. And therefore Robin this Willow garland is to me right hearty welcome and I will go with thee to Gillian presently, and thou shalt see us wear them rather in triumph, then in timorous fear. Well said in good sadness, quoth Robin thou art the gallantest girl that ever I knew. But when she came to Gillian, Robin stayed for her at the stair foot: they found her sick in her bed, fetching many sore sighs, to whom Margaret spoke in this manner. Why how now Gillian, what sick a bed? now i'll for shame, pluck up a good heart woman, let no man triumph so much over thee, to say thou gavest the Crow a pudding, because love would let thee live no longer: he content quoth she, and take courage to thee, death is a sour crabbed fellow.  
Ah not quoth Gillian, death is sweet to them that live in sorrow, and to none should he be better welcome then to me, who desires nothing more than death to end my miseries: What now quoth Margaret, whose Mare is dead? art thou a young wenc●, fair and comely, and dost thou despair of life? and all for love, and all for love. O fond fool worthy to wear a coat with four elbows, this were enough if there were no more men in the world but one, but if there were two, why shouldst thou languish, much less knowing there is so many to he had. O quoth Gillian, what is all the men in the world to me now I have lost Richard whose love was my life. I pray thee rise quoth Meg, and let us go drink a quart of Sack to wash sorrow from our hearts. O quoth she, I cannot rise if you would give me a hundred pound, nor will I rise for any man's pleasure: what quoth Meg, if your father sent for you, would you not go to him? Not quoth she: would you not go to your mother? no: but what if your brethren requested you to rise? Y faith I would not quoth she: say that some of the King's Gentlemen entreated your company? never prate, I would not go to the best Lord in the Landqd. Gillian, nor to no man else in the world: Not quoth Meg, I am suit you would. Quoth she if I do, say I am an errant quean, and count me the verleit drab that ever trod on two shoes. Nay quoth Meg, seeing you say so, I have done, I was about to tell you of a mat, but I see it is to small purpose, and therefore I'll keep my breath to cool my pottage.  
A matter said Gillian? what matter is it sweet Meg tell me? N●, no quoth she, it is in vain, I would wish you to cover yourself close, and keep yourself warm, lest you catch an ague, and so good night Gillian. Nay but Meg quoth she, good Meg if ever thou didst love me, let me know what this matter is that you speak of, for I shall not be in quiet till I know it: tush 'tis but a trifle, a trifle quoth Meg, not worth the talk: your sweet heart Richard, hath sent his man Robin for you, and as he tells me he hath a token to deliver you. What quoth Gill, is that true? Where is Robin? why comes he not up, truly quoth Meg, he counts it more than manners to press into a Maid's chamber▪ beside he would be loathe to give any cause of suspicion to any of your fellows, to think Ill of him or you, for now a days the world is grown to such a pass, that if a Maid do but look merrily upon a young man, they will say strait, that either she shall be his wife, or that she is his harlot: but if they see a man come into a woman's chamber, they will not stick to swear that they have been naught together; for which cause Robin entreated me to come unto you, and to certify you that he stayed at the thrée-Tunnes for your coming: but seeing you are a bed I am sorry I have troubled you so much, and therefore farewell good Gillian.  
O stay a little good Meg quoth she, and I will go along with you and with that on she slipped her petticoat, and made such haste in dressing herself, that she would not stay the plucking on of her stockings nor the drawing on of her shoes: why how now Gillian quoth Meg, have you forgot yourself? remember you are Ill and sick a bed: Tush quoth she I am well enough now: but if you go forth to night you are an arrant drab, and a very quean quoth Meg: Tush 'tis no matter for that, said Gillian, grief hath two tongues, to say, and to unsay, and therefore I respect not what you prate, and therewithal she ran down the stairs after Margaret, who got Robin to go before to the three Tons, where when Gillian came, she asked him how his Master did, and what his errand was to her.  
Soft: First let us drink quoth Robin, and then let us talk,  
That we cannot pay for, shall be set up in chalk.  
You speak merrily, quoth Margaret, whatsoever you mean, but I would I could see the wine come once, that I may drink a hearty draught; for sorrow they say is dry, & I found it to be true.  Then drink hard quoth Robin, and bid sorrow a due. 
Thus when they had whipped off two or three quarts of wine, Gillian began to grow as pleasant as the best, and would needs know of Robin, what it was he had to say to her; nothing quoth he, but to do my Master's commendation, and to deliver you his token. This token, quoth Gillian? What, a Willow garland? is the matter so plain? is this the best reward he can give me for all my good will; had he no body to flout but me? Yes by my faith, quoth Meg, it was his mind that I should bear you company, therefore, look what he sent to you, he did the like to me, and that thou mayest the better believe me, see where it is.  
O intolerable injury, quoth Gillian, did I take pains to rise and come out of my warm bed for this? O how unfortunate have I been above all other in the world? Well, seeing I cannot recall what is past, I will take this as a just penance for my too much folly; and if Margaret will agree, we will wear these disdainful branches on his marriage day to his great disgrace, though to our continual sorrow: content quoth Meg, all is one to me, look what thou wilt allow, I will not dislike, and so paying the shot, away they went.  
At length, when the marriage day was come, and that the Bride; in the midst of her friends was set down to dinner, Margaret and Gillian attired in read Stammel petticoats, with white linen sléeves, and fine Holland Aprons, having their Willow garlands on their heads, entered into the Hall singing this song:  

WHen fancy first framed our liking in love,  
sing all of green Willow:  
And faithful affection such motion did move,  
for Willow, Willow, Willow.  
Where pleasure was plenty we chanced to be,  
sing all of green Willow:  
There were we enthralled of our liberty,  
and forced to carry the Willow garland.   

This young man we liked and loved full dear,  
sing all of green Willow:  
And in our hearts-closset we kept him full near,  
sing Willow, Willow, Willow.  
He was our hearts-pleasure and all our delight,  
sing all of green Willow:  
We judged him the sweetest of all men in sight,  
Who gives us unkindly the Willow garland.   

No cost we accounted too much for his s●ke,  
sing all of green Willow:  
Fine bands and handkerchiefs for him we did make,  
sing Willow, Willow, Willow.  
And yet for our good will, our travel and pain,  
sing all of green Willow:  
We have gotten nothing but scorn and disdain;  
as plainly is proved by this Willow garland.   

Then pardon our boldness, thou gentle fair Bride,  
sing all of green Willow:  
We speak by experience of that we have tried,  
sing willow, willow, willow.  
Our over much courtesy bred all our woe,  
sing all of green willow:  
But never hereafter we mean so to do,  
For this only brought us the Willow garland.   
Their song being thus ended, the Bride said she was hearty sorry for their hard fortune in love, greatly blaming the Bridegroom for his unkindness; Nay, do not so, quoth Meg, for you shall found him kind enough soon at night: but seeing he hath disappointed me in this sort, it shall go hard, but I will make shift to loose my maidenhead as soon as you shall loose yours, and you shall make good haste, but I will be before you. O God, quoth she, have I been so chary to keep my honesty, and so dainty of my maidenhead, that I could spare it no man for the love I bore so hardhearted Richard, & hath he served me thus? Well Gillian quoth she, let us go, never will I be so tied in affection to one man again while I live; what a deal of time have I lost and spent to no purpose since I came to London? and how many kind offers have I forsaken, & disdainfully refused of many brave Gentlemen, that would have been glad of my good will? I think I was accursed to come into his company: Well, I say little, but hence forward, hung me if I refuse reason when I am reasonably entreated; trust me, I would not for a good thing, that my friends in the country should know, that one of my ripe age, bone & bigness hath all this while lived in London idly, like an unprofitable member of the commonwealth; but if I live, they shall hear that I will be better employed, and so adve good Gillian. Thus Margaret in a melancholy humour went her ways, and in short time after she forsook Westminster, & attended on the King's army to Bullio, and while the siege lasted, became a laundress to the Camp, and never after did she set store by herself, but became common to the call of every man, till such time as all youthful delights was banished by old age, and in the end she left her life in Islington, being very penitent for all her former offences. Gillian in the end was well married, and became a very good housekéeper, living in honest name and same till her dying day.   

CHAP. IU. How round Robin and his fellows sung before the King.  
THe King's Majesty having royally won the strong town of Bullen, victoriously he returned & came into England, and according to his accustomed manner, lying at his Palace of Whitehall, divers of the Nobility passing up and down Westminster, did many times hear the Shoemaker's iournymen singing; whose sweet voices and pleasant songs was so pleasing in the ears of the hearers, that it caused them to stay about the ●oore to harken thereunto: Robin above the rest, declared such cunning in his song, that he ever obtained the chiefest praise; and no marvel, for his skill in pricksong was more than ordinary, for which cause the Singing-men of the Abbey did often call him into the Quire. Now you shall understand, that by their often singing in the Shop, the journeymen of that house were noted above all the men in Westminster, and the report of their singing went far and near, in so much that at the last, the King's Majesty had knowledge thereof, who hearing them so greatly commended, caused them to be sent for to the Court. Whereupon round Robin and his four fellows made themselves ready, and their Master being of a good mind, against the day that they should go before our King, he suited them all at his own proper cost, in doublets and hose of crimson Taffeta, with black Velvet caps on their heads, and white feathers; on their legs they had fine yellow stockings, pumps and pantofles on their feet: by their sides each of them wore a fair sword; and in this sort being brought before his Majesty, upon their knees they craved pardon for presuming to come into his royal presence: The King seeing them to be such proper men, & attired in such Gentlemanlike manner, bade them stand up: Why my Lords, quoth he, be these the merry minded Shoemakers you spoke of? they are most dread Sovereign, said they; certainly, said our King, you are welcome every one, but who among you is round Robin?  
My Liege quoth Robin, that man am I,  
Which in your Grace's service will live and die:  
And these be my fellows every one,  
Ready to wait your royal Grace upon.  
How now Robin (said our King) What, canst thou rhyme?  A little my Liege, quoth he, as I see place and time. 
His Grace laughing hearty at this pleasant companion, told him that he heard say he could sing well.  
Trust me, quoth Robin, at your Grace's request,  
You shall well perceive we will do our best.  
Hereupon the King sat him down, where many great Lords & Ladies of high estate attended on his Highness. And being in the Christmas time, after the master of merry disports had performed all his appointed pastimes, Robin, with his fellows had liberty to declare their cunning before our King, but the Majesty of his Princely presence did so amate them, that they were quite dashed out of countenance, which his Grace perceiving, gave them many gracious words of encouragement, whereupon they began in this sort, singing a song of the winning of Bullen.  

The Song of the winning of Bullen sung before the King by round Robin and his fellows.  

IN the month of October  
Our King he would to Dover:  
By leave of Father and the Son:  
A great army of men,  
Well appointed there was then,  
before our noble King to come;   

The valiant Lord Admiral,  
He was captain General,  
Of all the royal Navy sent by Sea:  
The fight was worthy to behold,  
To see the ships with shining gold,  
And Flags and Streamers sailing all the way.   

At Bullen then arriving,  
With wisdom well contriving:  
The armed men were set in battle ray;  
And Bullen was besieged round,  
Our men with Drum and Trumpets sound,  
Before it marched courageous that day.   

Then mark how all things chanced,  
Before them was advanced,  
The royal Standard in the bloody field;  
The Frenchmen standing on the walls,  
To them our English Heralds calls,  
Wishing in time their City for to yield.   

Our King hath sent to prove you,  
Because that he doth love you,  
He proffered mercy if you will embrace:  
If you deny his kind request,  
And in your obstinacy rest,  
Behold you bring yourselves in woeful case.   

Quoth they we do deny you,  
And flatly we defy you,  
Fair Bullen is a famous Maiden town;  
For all the deeds that hath been done,  
By conquest never was she won,  
She is a Lady of most high renown.   

When they so unadvised,  
His proffer had despised,  
Our Ordinance began to shoot amain;  
Continuing eight hours and more,  
For why our King most deeply swore,  
Her Maiden-●●d that he would obtain.   

When thus his Grace had spoken,  
He sent her many a token,  
Fiery balls, and burning brazen rings:  
Fair broad arrows sharp and swift,  
Which came among them with a drift,  
Well garnished with the grey goose wings.   

This Maiden town that lately,  
Did show herself so stately,  
In seeking favour, many tears she shed:  
Upon her knees than fell she down,  
Saying, O King of high renown,  
Save now my life, and take my maidenhead.   

Lo, thus herself she ventured,  
And straight her streets we entered,  
And to the market place we marched free:  
Never a Frenchman durst withstand,  
To hold a weapon in his hand,  
For all the gold that ever he did see.    
Their song being ended, our King east them a purse with fifty fair angels for a reward, commending both their skill and good voices, and after much pleasant communication, they had liberty to departed; and when they came home, they told to their Master, all their marriment before the King, and what reward his Grace had bestowed on them; and pouring the gold down upon the Table, the same being truly told by their Master, every man's share came just to five pound a piece. Which, when round Robin saw, he swore he would bestow a supper upon his Master and Mistress that night, though it cost him two angels; which his fellows hearing, and seeing Robin's liberal heart to be such, said, they would join with him, and laying their money together, would have all the Shoemakers in Westminster to bear them company.  
Content, quoth Robin, with all my heart;  
And twenty shillings I will spend for my part:  
And as I am true man, and sung before our King,  
As much shall each of you spend before our parting.  
So shall we have music and gallant cheer,  
Sack and Sugar, Claret wine, strong Ale and Bear.  
This being concluded, they met all together at the sign of the Bell, where they were so merry as might be, at what time Robin began to blame his Master, that had not in three years space gotten his Mistress with child. Hold thy peace quoth he, all this while I have but jested, but when I fall once in earnest, thou shalt see her belly will rise like a Tun of new Ale: thou knowst I am the Cock of Westminster.  
I, quoth Robin, you had that name,  
Moore for your rising, than your goodness in Venus' game.  
The company at this laughed hearty, but seven years after this jest was remembered; for in all that space had not his wife any child: Wherefore Robin would often say, that either his Master was no perfect man, or else his Mistress was in her infancy nourished with the milk of a Mule, which bred such barrenness in her; for till her dying day she never had child. And after they had lived together, many years, at last, Richard Casteler died, and at his death he did divers good and godly deeds: among many other things he gave to the City of Westminster, a worthy gift to the cherishing of the poor inhabitants for ever. He also gave toward the relief of the poor fatherless children of Christ's Hospital in London, to the value of forty pound land by the year; and in the whole course of his life he was a very bountiful man to all the decayed housekeepers of that place, leaving behind him a worthy example for other men to follow.   

CHAP. V The pleasant Story of Peachey the famous Shoemaker of Fleetstreet in London.  
Much about this time, there lived in London a rich Shoemaker, and a gallant housekeeper; who being a brave man of person, bore a mind agreeable thereunto, and was therefore of most men called lusty Peachey: he kept all the year forty tall men on work beside Prentices, and every one he clothed in tawny coats, which he gave as his livery to them, all with black caps and yellow feathers; and every Sunday and holiday, when this gentlemanlike Citizen went to Church in his black gown guarded with Velvet, it was his order to have all his men in their liveries to wait upon him, with every man his sword and buckler, ready at any time, if need required.  
It came to pass upon S. George's day, that this jolly Shoemaker (being servant to the Duke of Suffolk) went to the Court with all his men after him, to give attendance upon his noble Master, which some young Gentlemen more wanton than wise, beholding & envying his gallant mind, devised how they might pick some quarrel, thereby to have occasion to try his manhood: quoth they, did you ever know a shoemaker, a souter, a cobbling companion, brave it so with the best, as this fellow doth? see with what a train of hardy squires he goes, what squaring lads they be they look as if they would fight with Gargantua, and make a fray with the great Turk, and yet I durst lay my life they dare scantly kill a Hedgehog: mark him I pray, I warrant you there is never a Knight in this country that goes with so great a train. Swoons, quoth one, it were a good sport to draw, & try what they can do. My Masters be advised quoth another, and attempt nothing rashly: I tell you this fellow is a hardy Coin, he is currant mettley-faith, and whensoever you try him, i'll warrant you shall find he will not fly a foot. With that comes by lusty Tom Stuteley, and Strangwidge, two gallant Sea Captains, who were attired all in Crimson Velvet, in Mariners wide stops that reached to the foot, in watched silk thrum hats and white feathers, having Pages attending with their weapons, who seeing a cluster of Gentlemen in hard communication at the Court gate, asked what was the matter? Mary Captain quoth they, we are all beholding to yonder lusty Gallant, that hath so many waiting on him with Tawny Coats: 'Sblood, what is he, quoth Stu●eley? he seems to be a gallant man said Stra●gwidge, whatsoever he be: and were it not I see him in the Duke of Suffolk's livery, I should have taken him by his train to be some Lord at the lest: Nay quoth Stuteley, he is some Knight of good living. Gentlemen quoth they, how your judgements deceive you: it is certain he is as good a Shoemaker as any is in Fléetstreet. What? is he but a Shoemaker quoth Stuteley? O how that word makes me scratch my elbow: Can a Shoemaker come to the Court with more Servingmen at his heels ●hen Captain S●uteley? see how it makes my blood rise: O the passion of my heart, how the villain squares it out? see, see, what a company of handsome fellows follow him, it is twenty pound to a penny but they were better borne then their Master: not so quoth the Gentlem●n, but I think their birth and bringing up was much alike, for they be all Shoemakers & his stool companions: now by this iron and steel quoth Stuteley, were it not that he is attendant on the good Duke, I would have him by the ears presently. I will lay an hundred pound, and stake it dow●● strait, that Captain Strangwidge and I will beaten him and all his forty men. The Gentlemen being ready to set this match forward, greatly commended the Captain's high courage: notwithstanding they would not hazard their money on such a desperate match. Well Gentlemen quoth they, you say he dwells in Fleet street, and that he is a Shoemaker, never trust us more if we become not his customers, but the crossest customers shall he find us that ever came to his shop for shoo●s. Nay quoth Stuteley, we will bespeak Boots of him, & thus we will raise our quarrel: when they are made, if they come not ●n easy, and sit on our legs neatly, we will make them pluck them off again, & presently we will beaten them in pieces about his pate, which if he seem to take in dudgeon, and with his men follow us into the street for revenge, if we make them not leap before us like Monkeys, and force them run away like shéep-biters, let us loose our credits and Captainships for ever.  
But what if you should chance to kill any of them said the Gentlemen: swoons quoth they what care we, we are bound to sea on a gallant voyage, wherein the King hath no small venture, and without us it cannot go forward, so that it is not the death of twenty men can stay us at home, and therefore when they should be seeking of us in Fléetstréet, we would be seeking out the Coast of Florida.  
You say well Captains quoth they, and no doubt if you do any such thing we shall hear of it: for the report thereof will be famous through London. Within a while after S●uteley and Strangwidge, having thus determined, came into Fleetstréet, and making inquiry for Peachies shop, they were by every man directed to the house: where, when they were come, they called for the good man of the house: the foreman of the shop demanded what their will was? why knave quoth they, what carest thou, let us speak with thy Master. Gentlemen quoth he, if you lack any such commodity as we make, you shall find ●e sufficient to serum you, for to that end hath my Master set me in the shop. Why jack-sauce quoth Stuteley, you whoreson peasant, know you to whom you speak?  
The fellow being very chfleeick, and somewhat displeased at these disdainful speeches, made him this round answer: ask you to whom I speak quoth he? I goodman flat cap said Strangw●dge, we ask to whom you speak? sir quoth he, I speak to a Velvet foole, a silken slave that knows not how to govern his tongue: with that Stuteley swore like a mad man and presently drew out a dudgeon haft dagger that he had by his side, and began to lay at the fellow, which one of his fellows seeing, fling a Last at his head and field him to the ground: S rangwidge thereupon drew his sword, but by that time the fellow had took down his sword and buckler, which hung in the shop hard at hand, and therewith so well defended himself, that S●rangwidge could do him no hurt: and by that time Stuteley recovering crald up again.  
But Peachie hearing a great hurly burly in the shop, came forth and demanded the cause of the quarrel? his servants told him that those Gentlemen had given the journeymen very ill words: How can they choose but speak ill quoth Peachie, for it may be they never learned to speak well: whereupon he went unto them saying; how now Captains, how grew this quarrel twixt you and my men?  
Thy men quoth Stuteley? thy Rogues, and thyself is no better that brings them up: sir quoth Peachie, your wong me too much, and get you quickly from my door, or by this sun that shines, i'll set you packing, & therefore never think to outface me with great looks, for I tell thee Stu●●ley and Strangwidge both, did you look as big as the Devil I fear you not. And you forgot your manners too much to give me such base terms, for I would you well knew I keep forty good fellows in my house, that in respect of their manhood may seem to be your equals. O intolerable Comparison quoth Stuteley, flesh and blood cannot bear such abuse. I'll tell thee what (quoth he) if we two beaten not thee and thy forty men, I durst be hanged up at thy door. Fie, fie, 'tis too much odds quoth Peachy, dare you two take ten? nay dare you fight with five? Take that and try quoth Strangwidge, and therewithal gave him a sound blow on the ear: nay this is too much quoth Peachy, put up this and put up all: Stuteley and Strangwidge (quoth he) if you be men, meet me in Lincolnes-Inne-fields presently: Content quoth they, & thereupon went their ways. P●achie fetching strait his sword and buckler, called his man john Abridges to go with him, charging all the rest not to stir out of doors, and so into the fields they went, where immediately they met with these lusty Caveliers. The Captains seeing him come only with one man, asked if there well all the help he had? I will request no more quoth Peachie, to swinge you both out of the fields.  
Brag is a good Dog quoth Stuteley, but tell us, hast thou made thy Will, and set thy house in order? What if I have not quoth Pe●chie? Why then quoth Strangwidge, for thy wife and childrens sake go home again and do it, or else get more aid about thee to preserve thy life.  
Why how now Master quoth john Abridges, come you into the field to fight with women? why these be two disguised butter whores i'll lay my life, that have more skill in scolding then in fight: but hear you quoth he, if you be men, leave your foul words, and draw your fair weapons, and because I will spare your middle piece, if I strike a stroke below the girdle, call me Cut: 'sblood shall we be thus outbraved quoth Stuteley? and therewith drawing their weapons, they fell to it lustily, where P●achie and his man laid so bravely about them, that they beaten both the Captains out of breath, in which fray, Stuteley was wounded in the head, and Strangwidge in the sword arm, but at last they were parted by many Gentlemen that came in good time to prevent further mischief.  
The Captains got them strait to the Surgeon, & Peachie with his man went directly home: and while they were a dressing, Peachie hearing how they were hurt, sent to S●uteley a kerchief by one of his men, and by another a scarf to St●a●gwidge, by the third he sent a bottle of Aqua vitae, wishing them to be of good cheer, for he intended to be better acquainted with them ere long. The Captains finding these favours to be but flouts, were more grieved thereat, then at their hurt, and therefore with many disdainful speeches, they refused his proffered courtesy.  
And you shall understand that afterward Peachies men by two and two at a time, did often meet and fight with them, and so narrowly would they watch for them, that they could be in no place in peace, insomuch that the Captains found fight work enough, & a great deal more then willingly they would, whereby they received many scars and wounds in the body, so that lightly they were never out of Surgeon's hands. Upon a time it chanced that being upon the point of their voyage, and shortly to go to sea: Stuteley and Strangwidge having been at the Court, and newly come from my Lord-admirals' ledging, before they came to Charing-cross, they were encountered by a couple of Peachies men, who presently drew upon them, and laid so freely about, that the two Captains were glad at length to house themselves for their refuge: Now a plague on them quoth Stu●eley, shall we never be in quiet for these quoystrels? never were we so ferrited before, swownes we can no sooner look into the streets, but these shoemakers have us by the ears: a pox on it that ever we meddled with the rascals: 'sblood they be as unlucky to be met, as a Hare on a journey, or a sergeant on a Sunday morning, for ever one mischief or other follows it, Captain S●rangwidge (quoth he) there is no other shift but to seek their friendship, otherwise we are in danger every hour to be maimed, therefore to keep our limbs sound against we go to Sea, 'tis best to find means to quiet this grudge.  
Then said Strangwidge, it were good to do so, if a man knew how: but you may be sure they will not easily be entreated, seeing we have so mightily abused them in speech. Thus they cast in their minds divers times by what means they might he reconciled: and albeit they sent divers their friends unto Master Peachie, and by his m●n, yet they would not yield, nor give consent to be appeased, nor to put up such wrong as they had received without further revenge: so that the Captains were at length constrained to make suit to the Duke of Suffolk to take up the matter: who most honourably performed their request: and so the grudge ended betwixt them, to the great credit of Master Peachie, and all his men.   

CHAP. VI How Harrie Nevell, and Tom Drum came to serve Peachey of Fleetstreet.  
THe fame of Peachey, running through England by means of the frays which he and his men had with Stuteley and Strangwidge, it made many of that occupation desirous to come and devil with him, for beside that he was a tall man of his hands, he was also an excellent good workman, & therewithal a bountiful housekéeper. Among many other that was desirous of his service, there was one called Tom Drum, that had a great mind to be his man, a very odd fellow and one that was sore infected with the sin of cogging: this boasting companion sitting on a time sadly at work in his Master's shop at Petworth, and seeing the Sun shine very fair, made no more to do but suddenly shrouded up S. Hugh's bones, & taking down his pikestaff, clapped his pack at his back, and called for his Master, who coming into the shop, and seeing his man prepared to be prancing abroad, demanded what the matter was that he followed not his business.  
O Master, qd. he, see you not how sweetly the Sun shines, & how trimly the trees are decked with green leaves? Well & how then quoth his Master? Mary sir quoth he, having a great mind to hear the small birds sing, and seeing the weather fit to walk then to work, I called you forth to take my leave and to bid you farewell, I hope sir I have no wager in your hand.  
Why no quoth his Master, thou wilt be sure to take an order for that, and therefore seeing thou wilt be gone, adieu. God be with you good master quoth he, and farewell all good fellows of the gentle craft, and therewith he departed.  
The journeymen of the Town hearing that Tom Drum went away, according to their ancient custom they gathered themselves together to drink with him, and to bring him out of town: and to this intent, up they go with him to the sign of the Crown, where they parted not till they had drunk a Stand of Ale dry.  
Which being done, they bring him a mile on his way, carrying a gallon of beer with them: & lastly there once again they drink to his good health, and to Crispianus soul: and to all the good fellows of Kerbfoord: which being done, they all shook him by the hand, and with hallowing and whooping, so long as they can see him, they bid him a hundred times farewell. So soon as he was gone out of their whooping, the sweat réeking in his hand, and the Ale in his head, he trips so light in the highway, that he feels not the ground he goes on: and therefore being in a merry vain, and desirous to drive out the weary way, as he walks he gins thus pleasantly to sing.  
The Primrose in the green Forest,  
the Violets they be gay:  
The double Daisies and the rest,  
that trimly decks the way,  
Doth move the spirits with brave delights,  
whose beauties Darlings be:  
With hay trickfie, trim go trickfie,  
under the green wood tree.  
The singing of this song awaked a young Gentleman whom sorrow had laid asleep on a green bank by the high ways side. Who having unadvisedly displeased his Parents, in a choleric humour departed from them, betaking himself to travel, thereby to try how fortune would favour him abroad: but having now spent all his money, he was in a woeful taking, not knowing what to do, for never had he been brought up to any trade, whereby he might be able to get a penny at his need. Wherefore being in this distress, he was fully purposed to go to London, and there to learn some occupation, whereby he might keep himself a true man, and not to be driven to seek succour of his friends.  
Now therefore when he heard Tom Drum so trimly tune it on the way, raising himself from the sad ground, he awaited his coming, at whose sudden sight Tom Drum started like one that had spied an Adder: & seeing him provided with a good sword and buckler, supposed he had been one that waited for a fat purse: for which cause he began thus to enter parley with him. Good fellow quoth he,, God give you good morrow, but ill speed. Why sayest thou so quoth Harrie? because said Tom by the good light of the day thou mayst see to pass beside me, and that by thy spéeding ill, I may speed the better: what hast thou such store of money (quoth Herrie) that thou art loathe to loose it?  
Not by my faith quoth he, I have so little that I cannot spare it: for I assure thee all my store is but one poor penny, and that thou mayst see under my little finger. Why then quoth Herrie if I were minded to assault thee, it should be more to rob thee of thy manhood then thy money: but tell me what pack is that thou bearest at thy back? Mary they be Saint Hugh's bones: Saint Hugh's bones quoth Herrie, what is that? a kind of commodity said Tom which I cannot miss, for they be my working tools.  
I pray thee said Herrie what occupation art thou? sir quoth he, I am a Goldsmith that makes rings for women's heels: What meanest thou by that said Harrie? I am quoth Tom of the gentle Craft, vulgarly called a Shoemaker.  
The happier thou art quoth Harrie that thou hast a trade to live by, for by that means thou carriest credit with thee in every place: but tell me good friend, what is thy name, and how far dost thou travel this way? sir quoth he, I travel to the next town, but my journey is to London, & as for my name I am not ashamed to show it: For my name is a Noun substantive that may be felt, heard, or understood, & to speak the truth I am called: who there, I trust sir you ask for no hurt, you are no Bailiff nor Bailiffs man, are ye? no not I said Harrie: God's blessing on you quoth he, I love you the better: for I was never so afraid jest my Hostess of the George in Petworth had sent you for to arrest me, for I think I own her some ten Groats of the score, set up in very fair Chalk, as one of the principals of her house is able to testify: but I pray God sand her meat, for I verily think I shall never sand her money. But yet quoth Harrie, I know not how to call your name: verily said he, I am called Thomas Drum, or Tom D●um choose you whether: Well Thomas quoth Herrie, I perceive thou art a man & a good fellow, therefore I will not be strange to open my need unto thee. I have been unto my parents untoward, and more than that not knowing when I was well, wilfully I came from them: and now that I have spent all my money and worn myself out of credit, I have utterly undone myself, for I am not worth a groat, nor no man will trust me for two pence. Why then quoth Tom thou art not worth so much as goodman Luters lame nag, for my Lord of Northumberlands huntsman would have given half a Crown for him to have fed his dogs: notwithstanding be of good cheer, if thou wilt go to London with me, I will hear thy charges, and I faith at the next town we will be merry and have go●d cheer.  
Alas quoth Harry, how can that be seeing you have but one penny? I tell thee what quoth Tom, wert thou a Shoemaker as I am, thou mightst go with a single penny under thy finger, and travel all England over and at every good town have both meat and drink and lodging of the best, and yet have thy penny in store, as when we come to Gilford you shall soon see. Believe me quoth Harry, that is more than any tradesmen in England else can do.  
Tush quoth Tom, shoemakers will not see one another lack, for it is our use if we know of a good fellow that comes to town, wanting either meat or money, and that he make himself known, he shall need to take no further care, for he shall be sure that the jornymen of that place will not only give him kind welcome, but also provide him all things necessary of free cost: And if he be disposed to work among them, he shall have a Master provided by their means, without any suit made by himself at all. Verily quoth H●rry, thou dost ravish me with the good report of th● passing kind and courteous trade, and I would spend part of my gentle blood, to be of the gentle Craft: and for thy courtesy if thou wouldst teach it me, I would anoint thee a gentleman for ever: Wilt thou say and hold quoth Tom? Or else hung me said Harry: then said he anoint me a Gentlemen, and I will shape thee for a Shoemaker strait. Thereupon Harry took his knife, and cutting his finger, all to smeared Tom-drum's ●a●e with his blood, that he made him look like the Image of Bred-stréete corner, or rather like the Sarazines-head without Newgate.  
Tom Drum, seeing him do so, said he might by that means as well anoint him a joiner, as a Gentleman: Nay said Harry, I do not deceive thee I warrant thee, seeing this blood did spring from a Gentleman, if thou wilt not believe me, ask all the men in the town- Malin, and they will say the like.  
Well I'll take thy word quoth Tom. And therefore look that presently thou strip thyself, for I will cast thee in a Shoemaker's mould by and by: Harry perceiving his meaning did what he willed, and so he was suited in Tom's attire● and Tom in his; so that Harry bore the pike staff and Saint Hugh's bones: and Tom swaggered with his sword and buckler; and coming in this sort to Gilford they were both taken for shoemakers, and very heartily welcomed by the jorneymen of that plac●, especially Harry, because they never saw him before: And at their meeting they asked him and if he could sing or sound the Trumpet, or play on the Flute, or reco● up his tools in rhyme, or manfully handle his pike staff, or fight with a sword and buckler? believe me quoth Harry, I can neither sound the Trumpet, nor play on the Flute: and beshroe his nose that made me a shoemaker, for he never taught me to recon up my tools in rhyme nor in prose.  
Tom hearing him say so, told them that he made him of an old serving m●n a new shoemaker: When was that (quoth they) marry saith he, when I was anointed a Gentleman, I think this face can show, that I have gentle blood about me: Why then quoth they thou art but a painted Gentleman, but we must accounted this young man wise, that to avoid misery betakes himself to follow mystery, for cunning continueth when fortune fleeteth, b●t it will be hard for such as never were brought up to the bodily labour to frame their fine fingers to any course faculty.  
Not a whit quoth Harry, for labour by custom becometh easy. Thou sayest true said Tom, I durst lay a good wager I have made more shoes in one day then all the jorneymen here have done in a month: with that one of the jorneymen began to chase, saying, how many a pair of shoes hast thou made in a day? I made quoth Tom, when the days were at longest, eight score pair of shoo●s in one day.  
O monstrous detestable lie, (quoth they) and thereupon one ran into the chimney and cried, come again Clement, come again. Whom call'st thou quoth Tom, I call Clement carry lie, that runs Post betwixt the Turk, and the Devil; that he may take his full loading ere he go, for the best jorneyman that ever I knew, never made above ten pair in a day in his life: and I will lay my whole years wages with thee, that thou canst not make twenty pair in a day, as they aught to be: I should be ashamed but to do as much as another, ●nd I never saw him yet that could out work me, yet dare not I take upon me to make a dozen pair of shoes in a day: but it is an old saying, they brag most that can do lest. Why thou Puppy quoth Tom, thou house Dove, thou Cricket, that never crept further than the chimney corner, tell me what Countries hast thou traveled?  
Far enough quoth he, to prove as good a workman as thou art: I deny that quoth Tom, for I have been where I have seen men headed like Dogs, and women of the same shape, where if thou hadst offered them a kiss, they would have been ready to have snapped off thy nose: othersome I have seen, that one of their legs hath been as good as a penthouse to cover their whole bodies, and yet I have made them shoes to serve their feet, which I am sure thou couldst never do: nay if thou wilt go with me, if thou seest me not make an hundred pair of shoes from sun rising, to sun setting; count me worse than a stinking Mackerel. Now verily thy talk stinks too much (quoth they) and if thou canst do so, never make further journey, but try the matter here.  
I tell you quoth Tom, I cannot try it in England, nor yet in France, Spain, or Italy, nor in any part of the l●w countries, nor in high Germany, Swea●hland, or Polonia. We think no less (quoth they) nor in any part of the world beside. Yes quoth Tom, I can do it as we travel to Russia, for there every day is five and fifty of our days in length: nay I'll tell you further quoth Tom, in some parts of the world where I have been, it is day for half a year together, and the other half year is continually night: and go no further quoth he but into the further part of Scotland, and you shall found one day there (in the month of june) to be four and twenty hours long: and therefore my Masters w●ile you live, take heed how you contrary a traveller, for the rain you shall but be ●oray your own ignorance, and make yourselves mocking stocks to men of knowledge. And travellers (quoth they) uncontrolled, have liberty to utter what lies they list.  
Master's tell me quoth Tom, were you not borne in Arcadia? Not (quoth they) but why ask you? because said Tom, that country doth more abound in plenty of Asses, where they swarm as thick as Bees, in Sicily we have cause to give you thanks (quoth they) for calling us Asses so kindly: not so said Tom, I did but ask a question; but seeing you are so cunning, tell me what Country breeds the best Hides, and Leather, and from whence have we the best Cork? our best Cork comes from Portugal qd. they, but the best Leather grows in our own land: I deny it quoth Tom, there is I confess good Cork in Portugal, but the best grows in Sparta; but for Hides and Leather there is none comparable to that in Siciona: where I have made a man a pair of shoes that hath lasted him a twelve month to toil in every day. O 'tis a gallant Country, for I tell you what, there is never a shoemaker in England that kept so many men as I did at that time.  
Then said the rest, thou speakest thou knowest not what: Master Peachy of Fleetstreet kéeps continually forty men a work, and the gréen-King of Saint-martins' hath at this time little less than threescore journeymen.  
Then is pretty well quoth Tom, but what say you to him that for half a year together, kept waiting on him above a hundred men that never did him stitch of work? this was a shoemaker of some account: but who was that quoth they? Mary quoth Tom, simple though I stand here, it was myself, and yet I never made brags of it. O what a shameless liar art thou quoth they, we never knew thee able to keep one man. Now by this bread said Tom, you do me mighty wrong, & were it not that ye be all of this gentle Craft, which science I do so greatly love and reverence, this Iron and steel should make it good upon your flesh for I tell you once again, I have been Master of an hundred men, and put sixteen score to the hundred: I pray you tell us (quoth they) what men were they? what men were they quoth Tom, they were vermin: in troth quoth they we thought as much, and we commend you for telling truth, and we suppose if you were well searched we should found twenty vermin waiting on you still. But tell us Tom, art thou minded to be Master Peachies man? I am quoth he except he will make me his fellow. By the Mass (quoth they) than wert thou best to have thy wards ready, and thy hilts sure, for he receives no servant before he tries his manhood; so much the better quoth Tom, and for that purpose I post up to London. Thus having had at Gilford very good cheer, the jorneymen of the town paid for all, and beside gave them money in their purses to spend by the way, and so toward London they went with all speed.   

CHAP. 7. How the wild Knight Sir john Rainsford for burying a Massing Priest alive, was fain to leave his Lady, and forsake his house, till he had obtained his pardon of the King: who meeting with Henry Nevell, and Tom Drum, went with him to serve Peachy of Fleetstreet, where for a while he became a Shoemaker.  
YOu shall understand that at this time there lived a gallant Knight called Sir john Ransford, who was for his courage and valiant heart inferour to few men living he kept a bountiful house, and a brave company of tall men to wait upon him. To all the poor round about where he dwelled, he was very charitable, relieving them daily both with money, and meat; he was a famous Courtier, and in great favour with the King, and the only thing that disgraced his virtues, was this, that he was something wild in behaviour, and wilful in his attempts, often repenting sadly what he committed rashly.  
It came to pass upon a time that as this courageous Knight was riding home to his own house, there was at a certain village, a corpse carried to be buried, the deceased father of five small children and the late husband of a woeful Widdw, whose poverty was such, that she had no money to pay for his burial: which thing Sir john the parish Priest doubting, would not by any means do his duty to the dead man, except he might first have his money.  
The Widow and her children, with many tears entreated him to do his office, but he would not be persuaded, saying?  
What you beggars, would you have me open my sacred lips to invocate and call upon the King of Heaven, to receive thy husband's soul, and to persuade our great Grandmother the earth to wrap his cold body in her warm bosom, for nothing? I tell thee no: first shall his soul fry in the flames of purgatory, till it be as thin as a pancake, and his body remain above ground till the Crows have picked his carrion carcase to the bore bones: and therefore leave your puling, and prate no more, lest you make me as choleric as a quail; and there withal, as he was going away, the poor Widow falling on her knees, plucked him by the gown, saying,: good Sir john, for sweet Saint Charity, say one Aue Maria, or one Pater noster, and let my poor husband's corpse be covered, though it be but with one handful of holy ground.  
Nay Dame quoth he, do you remember at the last shrift how you served me? you would not, not forsooth you would not: and now good Mistress I will not: no penny, no Pater noster, that is ●at: I pray you now see if your honesty be sufficient to keep your husband from the Crows. I thought a time would come at length to cry quittance for your coins: and with that word away he went.  
The poor Widow seeing his obstinacy, with a heavy heart turned into the high ways side, which was hard adjoining to the Churchyard, and there she and her children woefully begged of the passers by, some money to bury their father's dead body.  
At last Sir john, came riding with all his men, of whom the poor Widow in this manner began to Ask his alms: good Sir quoth she, if ever woman's misery moved your heart to pity, give me one penny for God's sake, toward the burying of my poor husband: in like manner the children cried, saying, one penny for Christ his sake, good Master one penny. Sir john, hearing their lamentable cry, and seeing the dead corpse lying there, as ●t why the Priest did not bury it?  
O Sir Knight quoth she, I have no money to pay for the burial: and therefore the Priest will not do it. Not quoth Sir john? by God's blessed mother I swear, I'll make him bury the dead or I'll bury him alive: whereupon he willed one of his men presently to go to the Parsonage for the Priest, and to bring him thither immediately, his men did so, and forth came Sir john, in his gown and corner cap, roughly demanding who would speak with him?  
That would I, quoth Sir john Rainesford: therefore tell me, how comes it to pass, that according to order you put not this dead corpse into the pit? Sir, quoth he because according to order they will not pay me for my pains.  
Above all men quoth Sir john, Priests should respect the poor, and charitably regard the state of the needy, because they themselves do teach charity to the people, and persuade men unto works of mercy: and therefore Sir john, seeing good deeds are meritorious, do you win heaven by this good work let the dead possess their one: I so they shall, said the Priest so I may not lose my due: for I tell you further, I count it little better than folly, to fill my soul with pleasure by emptying my purse with coin: will thou not bury him said the Knight: No not without money said the Priest; I pray thee said the Knight let me entreat thee for this time to do it, because the woman is poor. Then let me entreat ●ou to pay me quoth the Priest, because you are rich. Sir john Rainsford seeing him stan● so peremptory on his points, swore a deep oath, that it were best for him to bury him, or quoth he. I'll bury thee; bury me said the Priest a fig for you, and bury blind bayard when he is dead, or the dogs that your Hanks will not eat. The Knight at these words being marvellous angry commanded his men to take him up & cast him into the grave: his men made no more to do, but presently upon their Master's word took up the Priest, and wrapping him round in his gown, put him quick into the grave, and the rest cast earth upon him as fast ●s they could, at what time the Priest cried out, hold, hold, for God's sake, let me rise and I will bury him Nay soft quoth the Knight, thou art not like to rise, no rising here before the general resurrection, that thou shalt rise to judgement, and therefore quick as he was they buried him, which being done, he commanded the Sexton to make another grave for the dead man, and sending for another Priest, he; sat him if he would bury the dead without money, who making twenty legs, shivering and shaking with fear, answered I forsooth with all my heart, for they are knaves and no Christians that will not do it.  
Now when the dead man was buried, the Knight gave the poor Widow an angel in gold to comfort her and her children, and so road his way.  
When he came home, he fold his Lady what he had done; who greatly grieving thereat, wished he had pa●● for twenty burials, rather than he had made that one burial. 'tis done now said the Knight, and undone it cannot be again, though with grief I should kill myself.  
Now you shall understand, that the Dean of the Diocese, having word hereof, road up presently to London and made a great complaint thereof unto the King, which when his grace had considered he was very wroth thereat and therefore sent down pursuivants to apprehended the Knight, but he before had forsaken his house, and wandered in disguise up and down the Country. His Lady in the mean space made great suit for his pardon, being therein assisted by divers great Counsellors, and Noble Lords, who much lamented the Knight's case: notwithstanding they could hardly forbear laughing many times when they thought upon this mad prank.  
But as Sir john disguisedly wandered, he chanced twixt Gilford and London to light in the company with Harry Nevell and Tom Drum: But Harry viewing him well in the face, descried by his countenance what he was, and marvelling much to see him in such distress, made himself not known, but sounded him in this sort.  
Sir quoth he, whither do you wander this way, or to what place travel you? Gentle youth quoth he, fitly dost thou ask me whither I wander, seeing indeed we do all but wander in this vale of misery: dost thou demand whither I travel? nay rather ask wherefore I travel, or wherewith I travel? and then could I soon answer thee: sbones quoth Tom, I durst lay a haporth of Ale, that the Peasant is in labour with love.  
Nay quoth Sir john, hadst thou said I traveled with grief, and that I was in labour with sorrow, than hadst thou said right, for I may say to thee, I have had a sore labour continually this month in pain, and yet is not the time of my deliverance come, wherein I should be freed from this untoward child of care: thou didst think I was in love, O would to God it were so, for while I was in love, my days ran forth in pleasant hours, but I am cast off like a lump of earth from the gardiner's spade: I love, but I am not beloved, but rather hated and despised.  
Tush quoth Tom, bridle these foolish passions, for I'll tell thee what, hunger assuageth love, and so doth time, but if thou be not able to do any of these, then to take an halter, which if thou dost use as it aught, if ever thou complain more, of sorrow or care, never trust my word for a couple of black puddings.  
Belike, said Sir john, thou hast been some hangman that thou art so cunning in the nature of an halter: but howsoever thou accountest it good, yet it is an Ill word four times a year at Newgate, and as small comfort is it to me to hear it rehearsed at this time.  
Indeed said Harry, these are unsavoury terms to be spoken to a sorrowful man: neither have any of us great cause to be merry at this meeting, considering the hard cases we are in, that are both masterless, and moneyless, which if God do not soon sand us, will 'cause our sudden misery.  
With that the Knight turning his head, plucked his hat to his eyes to hide the tears that trickled down his face, saying, O my masters, want of money cannot make a man miserable, if he have health and liberty, to work for his liding, but indeed the frowns of a good Master, the displeasure of a good Master, the hate of a good master, may easily make a servant miserable, as by mine own experience I have seen, & to my grief but lately felt.  
What man, be blithe said Tom, and never grieve so much for the Ill will of a Master. God keep me from being of thy mind, for if I should have grieved at the Ill will of every Master that I have served, I verily think I should have killed a proper man long ere this; for I am sure I have had as many Masters, as there are Market towns in England, and yet perhaps quoth Harry, none so good a Master as his was.  
Never did man speak truer word said the Knight for he was to me good kind and liberal, but howsoever he hath banished me his house, yet shall my heart serve him while I live: now doth it come in my mind, how happy they are that live in his favour: how blessed they be that enjoy his presence; O were my head once again shadowed under his fair roof, it would expel all unquiet thoughts, which like millstones presseth down my heart's comfort.  
What, would you go devil with him again quoth Tom? fie what a base mind do you bear; were it to me, by this flesh and blood, I would rather run as far as jerusalem to seek a Master. Tom, Tom (said the Knight) I know this, wealth makes men lofty, but want makes men lowly, and commonly gentle. Master's have proud servants, but had I been as wise, as I was wilful, I might have led a happy life, but if tears might satisfy for mine offence, I would quickly recover his favour.  
Hereupon the woeful Knight would have parted their company, but Harry secretly conferring with him had knowledge how his grief grew, and making themselves known the one to the other, agreed to go to London together, and there to try what fortune would befall them.  
The Knight took great comfort by this conference, and having store of gold about him, made them great cheer at Kingston, and in the end was content to take their counsel: and coming into Fleetstreet, Tom Drum brought them to Peachies house, where such means was made: that at last upon the trial of their manhood, they were all entertained; and so well Peachy liked of Sir john, that he vowed he should not be his man, but his fellow.  
Within short time after the Frenchmen had landed in the I'll of Wight, about two thousand men of war, who burned and spoilt the Country very sore for which cause the King had made ready an army of men to go thither. Peachy at his own proper cost, set forth thirty of his own servants, well armed at all essays, and himself as Captain over them mustered before the King: who liked so well of them, that he chose out seven of that company for his own Guard; at what time Sir john, in disguised manner shown there such good service, that thereby he won his Majesty's high favour, and was by him most graciously pardoned. Peachy was hereupon made the King's Shoemaker, who lived long after in great favour and estimation, both with his Majesty, & all the honourable Lords of the Court.   

CHAP. 8. Of Tom Drums vaunts, and his rare entertainment at Mistress Farmer's house, the fair Widow of Fleetstreet.  
THere lived in Fleetstreet at this time a fair Widow, who was famous for her beauty, as she was esteemed for her wealth, she was beloved of many Gentlemen, and sued unto by divers Citizens, but so deep was the memory of her late husband engraven in her heart, that she utterly refused marriage leading a sober and solemn life.  
Harry Nevell having his heart fired with the bright beams of this blazing Comet, sought all means possible to quench the heat thereof with the floods of her favourable courtesy: and lacking means to bring himself acquainted with so curious a piece, be wrayed by his outward sighs, his inward sorrows: which upon a time, Tom Drum perceiving, demanded the cause of his late conceived grief, saying, How now Hall, what wind blows so bleak on your cheeks now? tell me mad wag, hath Cupid and you had a combat lately? why lookest thou so sad? hath the blind slave given thee a bloody nose, or a broken head? O, no Tom quoth he, that little tyrant aims at no other part but the heart, therefore 'tis my heart, and not my head that bléeds. With whom Hall, with whom art thou in love, tell me man? it may be I may pleasure thee more in that matter then my Lord Mayor: therefore I faith Harry say who is it? never be afraid man to unbuckle your Budget of close counsel to me, for if I be wray your secrets call me dogs-nose, and spit in my face like a young kitling.  
I tell thee Harry, I am holden in greater account among women than you are ware, and they will more willingly show their secrets to me then to their ghostly father: But art thou so in favour with fine wenches quoth Harry?  
I faith Sir I, quoth Tom, and I fro I have not lived thus long, but I know how to make a woman love me, by a cunning trick that I have: I durst lay my life, I will make a dozen maids run after me twenty miles for one night's lodging, striving, who should first bestow her maidenhead on me.  
That trick surpasses of all that ever I heard quoth Harry.  
Nay quoth Tom, I'll tell thee once what a merry prank I played, God forgive me for it: upon a time on a Saturday in the morning, I went into East cheap of purpose to spy what pretty wenches came to Market where I saw a great many as fresh as flowers in May, tripping up and down the streets with hand baskets in their hands, in read stammel petticoats, clean neckerchiefs and fine holland aprons as white as a Lily: I did no more but carry the right leg of a Turtle under my left arm, and immediately the wenches were so enamoured with my fight that they forsook the butcher's shops, and enticed me into a Tavern, where they spent all the money they should have laid out at Market, only to make me merry: and never had I so much to do, as to be rid of their company where they were ready to fall together by the ears, for the kisses they would have bestowed upon me.  
But it may be quoth Harry, your art would fail me now, to help your friend at a dead lift: not so said Tom, and therefore if there be any in this street that thou hast a mind unto, thou shalt carry but the head of a dead crow about thee, & it shall be of force to bring her to thy bed were it fine Mistress Farmer herself. But art thou acquainted with her quoth Harry, or dost thou think thou couldst prefer a friend to her speech? I quoth Tom, why I tell thee I am more familiar with her then with Doll our kithen-drudge: why man she will do any thing at my request, nay, I can command her in some sort, for I tell thee she will not scant be seen in the street, though some would give her twenty pound for every step, and I did but slightly request her to walk into the fields with me, and strait she went, and I never come into the house, but I have such entertainment as no man hath the like: for as soon as ever she sees me set footing on her checkquerd pavement, presently with a smiling look, she meets me half way saying, what my friend Tom-Drum? honest Thomas, by my Christian soul, heartily welcome: then strait a chair and a cushion is fetched for me, and the best cheer in the house is set on the table, and then sitting down by my side in her silken gown, she shakes me by the hand and bids me welcome, and so laying meat on my trencher with a silver fork she wishes me frolic, at what time all the secrets of her heart she imparts unto me, craving my opinion in the premises. I assure thee said Harry, those are high favours, well be wraying the great friendship that she bears thee, and I much marvel that thou being a young man, wilt not seek a wife that is so wealth, and so make thyself famous, by marrying Mistress Farmer, for it is likely she could well away to make him her husband, to whom she opens her heart's secrets.  
'tis true quoth Tom, and I know that if I spoke but half a word she would never deny me: nay she would spend ten of her twelve silver Apostles, on condition I would vouchsafe to be her husband. But wots you what Harry, it is well known though Lilies be fair in show, they be foul in smell, and women as they are beautiful so are they deceitful: beside, Mistress Farmer is too old for me.  
Too old quoth Harry? why man she is not so old as charingcross for her gate is no● crooked nor her face withered: but were she an hundr●d year old, having so strong a body and so fai●e a face she were not in my opinion much to be misliked; yet in my conscience I think, since first her fair eyes beheld the bright sun, she never tasted the fruits of twenty flourishing Somers: nor scant felt the nipping frosts of nineteen cold winters, and therefore her age need be no hurt to her marriage. I'll tell thee my mind quoth Tom, after a wom●n is passed sixteen years old, I will not give fifteen blue buttons for her: but tell me Harry, dost thou like her? if thou dost say so, and I will warrant her thy own.  
Gentle Tom Drum quoth Harry, the true figure of unfeigned friendship, and the assured Map of manhood, do but prefer me to her acquaintance, and I will request no greater courtesy. Here is my hand quoth Tom, it shall be done, and on Thursday at night next we will go thither, and then thou shalt see whether Tom Drum can command any thing in Mistress Farmer's house or no. The day being thus set down, Harry had prepared himself a fair suit of apparel against the time, and beside had bought certain gifts to bestow on the fair Widow: Tom Drum in like sort had dressed himself in the best manner he might, still bearing Harry in hand that none in the world should be better welcome than he to the Widow: which God wots was nothing so, for she never respected him but only for the shoes he brought her: but you shall see how it fell out. The day being come, Tom taking Harry by the hand, and coming to the Widows door, took hold on the Bell and rung thereat so lustily, as if he had been bound seven year's Prentice to a Sexton: whereupon one of the Prentices came strait to the door, saying, who is there? Sirrah, quoth Tom Drum, 'tis I, open the door; the fellow seeing it to be Tom Drum, with a frown asked him what he would have? who answered, be would speak with his Mistress. My Mistress is busy quoth the fellow, cannot I do your errand? Not marry can you not quoth Tom, I must speak with her myself: then stay a little quoth the boy, and I will tell, and with that in he went, leaving Tom still at the door, where they sat till their feet waxed cold before the boy returned. By the Mass quoth Harry, whatsoever your credit with the Mistress is I know not, but the courtesy is small that is shown you by her man: Tush quoth Tom, what will you have of a rude unmannerly boy? if any of the Maids had come to the door, we had been long ere this brought to their Mistress presence: therefore once again I will use the help of the Bell-rope.  
At his second ringing, out comes one of the Maids, saying with a shrill voice: who the Devil is at the door, that keeps such a ringing? why you quean quoth he, 'tis I, what Tom-Drum quoth she, what would you have? I would speak with your mistress quoth he: trust me said the maid, you cannot speak with her now, she is at supper with two or three that are suitors Master Doctor Burket is one, and Master Alderman larvice the other: tut quoth Tom tell me not of suitors but tell her that I am here, then good enough: well I will quoth she, and with that, claps to the door again, and keeps them still without. This gear works but illfavouredly, yet said Harry and you are little beholding either to the men, or to the maids, for aught that I see▪ that will not show you so much favour to stay within doors: 'tis no matter, Harry quoth he, but if their Mistress should know this she would swinge their co●ts l●stely for it: and with that, one of the bays opening the door, told Tom that his mistress would have him sand up his errand, 'sblood quoth he, is she so st●tely that she will not come down? I have seen the day when she would have been glad to have spoken with me: I quoth the fellow, it may be so, when you have brought her a new pair of shoes, that hath pinched her at the toes. Come Harry said Tom, I will take the pains for this once to go up to her, by my faith but you shall not said the fellow, and therefore keep you back for you come not in here: Tom Drum seeing himself thus disgraced before his fellow Harry (being very angry) asked if this were the best entertainment that they could afford their Mistress' Friends? And therewithal began to struggle with them: which their mistress hearing, started from the table, and suddenly came to see what the matter was, who being certified of Tom Drums sauciness, began thus sharply to check him, why fellow quoth she art thou mad, that thus uncivilly thou behavest thyself? what hast thou to say to me, that thou art thus importunate? no hurt quoth he, but that this gentleman and I would have bestowed a gallant of wine to have had three or four hours talk with you.  
I tell thee said she, I am not now at leisure, and therefore good honesty trouble me no more: neither is it my wont to be won with wine at any time; gods Lord quoth he are you grown so coy? if you and I were alone I know I should find you more mild: what must no man but Doctor Burket cast your water? is his Physic in most request? well I mean to be better entertained ere I go, for there is never a Felmming of them all shall out face me, by the morrow Mass I swear. Mistress Farmar seeing him so furious, answered he should have present entertainment according to his desert; whereupon she made no more to do, but quietly went to her servants, and willed them to thrust him out by the head and shoulders: which presently they performed. But Harry was by her v●ry modestly answered, that if he had occasion of any speech with her, the next day h● should come and be patiently heard and gently answered: with which words after she had drunk to him in a goblet of Claret wine, he departed, and going home he told Tom Drum he was highly beholding to him for his courtesy in preferring his suit to Mistress Farmer: surely quoth he, you are in very high favour with the fair woman, and so it seemed by your great entertainment: I pray thee Tom tell me how tasted the meat which she set on thy trencher with her silver fork: and what secret was that she told in thy ear? trust me thou art precious in her eyes, for she was as glad to see thee, as one had given her a rush, for when after many hot words she heard thee draw thy breath so short, she for very pity tumbled thee out into the street to take more apre: well quoth Tom, flout on, but I am well enough served, I'll lay my life had I not brought thee with me, never a man should have had more welcome than I: and now I consider with myself that it did anger her to the heart when she saw I was purposed to make another copartner of her presence: but it shall teach me wit while I live, for I remember an old saying, love and Lordship brooks no fellowship; but when this matter was made known to the rest of the jorneymen, Tom-Drums entertainment was spoke of in every place, insomuch that it is to this day a proverb amongst us, that where it is supposed a man shall not be welcomed, they will say he is like to have Tom Drums entertainment. And to avoid the flouts that were daily given him, poor Tom Drum forsook Fléetstréet, and at last went into Scotland, being pressed for a Drummer at Muskelbrough field, where the noble Duke of Somerset & the Earl of Warwick were sent with a noble army where, Englishmen and Scots meeting, there was sought a cruel battle, the victory whereof fell to the Englishmen at what time there was slain of the Scots to the number of 14. Thousand, and fifteen hundred taken prisoners, where we will leave Tom Drum till his return, making mention how Harry Nevell behaved himself in the mean space in London.   

CHAP 9 How Harry Nevell, wooed Mistress Farmer and deceived Doctor Burket: and how they were both beguiled by a Apprentice that dwelled in the house, who in the end married her.  
Mistress Farmer firing the hearts of many with her beauty, was wondrously wooed by Doctor Burket, who would give unto her divers rich gifts, the which though they were fair and costly, yet Mistress Farmer would hardly accept them, but even what he in a manner by perforce constrained her to take, lest by his cunning he should insert therein some matter more than ordinary, that might move any motion of love, contrary to her natural inclination: upon a time Harry Nevell coming thither, and finding the Doctor very diligent to breed the Widows content, whereby he greatly hindered his proceedings, cast in his mind how he might disburden the house of the Doctor and get opportunity to prefer his own suit. At last lighting on a device fit for the purpose, in this sort he dealt with the Doctor; there was an Egyptian woman that at Blackwall was in travel with child, and had such hard labour, that she was much lamented among all the wives that dwelled thereabout. Harry Nevell coming that way, and hearing thereof, thought it a fit matter to employ Doctor Burket about, while in the mean space he might the better be, wray his affection to the Widow.  
Whereupon he sent one to him attired like a serving man, booted and spurred, who coming to the Widows house all in a sweat; laid load on the door demanding for Master Doctor: what would you with him quoth one of the Maids? marry quoth he, my Lady Sunborne hath sent for him in all post hast, and therefore I pray you let me speak with him. I will presently do your errand said the maid, whereupon running up she told him that my Lady Sunborne hath sent a messenger in very great haste to speak with him. Doctor Burket hearing that, and being well acquainted with the Lady Swinborne, took leave of the Widow & went to the messenger, saying how now good fellow, what would my good Lady have with me? Sir said the messenger, she would desire you if ever you did tender the life of a Lady, to make no delay, but presently to put yourself a horseback, & come to her, for she is wondrous sick: I am sorry for that said the Doctor▪ & surely I will make all speed possible to come to her: whereupon the Doctor took horse and immediately went with the servingman. H●rry hearing of his departure, came to the Widow with a smiling countenance and thus merrily began to woo her.  
Now Mistress Farmer, happy it is that a youngman once in a month may found a moment of time to talk with you: truth it is that your good graces have greatly bound me in affection to you, so that only above all the women in the world I have settled my delight in your love, & if it shall please you to requited my good will with the like kindness, I shall accounted my birth day blessed, & remain your faithful friend for ever. Gentle man quoth she, for your good will, I thank you, but I would have you understand, that the less you love me, the better I shall like you, for your delights & mine are not alike, I have settled my fancy on a single ●●e, being a Widow unméete to marry, & unapt to love; once indeed I had learned that lesson, but my school master being untimely dead that taught me, I grew forgetful of all those principles & then I swore never to follow that study more: wherefore if you will become a faithful friend to me, let me be assured thereof by this, that from henceforth you will not any more trouble me with this matter, & thereby you shall bind me to think the better of you while I know you: & do not think I speak this of any affection proceeding from myself to any other, or for the desire of any benefit proffered by any other to me.  
Fair Mistress quoth Harry, I know it is the custom of women to make their denials unto their lovers, & strictly to stand on nice points, because they will not be accounted easily won, or soon entreated: alack dear Dame consider nature did not adorn your face with such incomparable beauty, & framed every other part so full of excellency, to wound men with woe, but to work their content.  
Wherefore now in the April of your years, & the sweet summer of your days, banish not the pleasures incident to bright beauty, but honour London streets with the fair fruit of your womb & make me blessed by being father to the issue of your delicate body; & though your beauty as the spring doth yet yearly grow, yet in the black winter of old age it will not be so, & we see by daily experience, that flowers not gathered in time rot & consume themselves: wherefore in my opinion you should do the world intolerable wrong to live like a fruitless figtrée.  
Nay then Sir quoth she, I perceive you will grow troublesome, and show yourself no such man as you profess yourself: and seeing among many I request but one thing at your hands, and you refuse to do it for my sake, I may say your friendship is more in words then in works: wherefore I perceive I must be constrained to call my Maid for a cup of voiding beer ere you will departed.  
Nay Mistress quoth he, I will save you that labour, seeing your love commands me, & I pray God grant you a more favourable mind at our next meeting, & with these words he departed.  
Now you shall understand, that this gallant Widow had in her house a very proper youth which was one of her aprentices who had a long time borne his Mistress great good will: whereupon he became so diligent & careful about all things committed to his charge that thereby he won much commendations among all the neighbours, & was for the same highly esteemed of his Mistress: who after he had long concealed his grief at last unburdened himself of so●e sorrow, by making a friend privy to his passions, who comforted him in this sort ●tush m●● quoth he what though she be thy Mistress, & thou her prentice, be not ashamed to show thy affection to her: she is a woman wise & modest, and one that however she answers thy demand, will not think worse of thee for thy good will: therefore try her, thou knowest not how fortune may favour thy suit, and the worst is she can but say she nay: O quoth he, if I were out of my years. I could have some heart to woo her, but having yet three quarters of a year to serve, it may be some hindrance to my freedom if she should prove fr●ward.  
Tush stand not on those terms, said his friend Francis, she will never requited kindness with such discurtesse, and therefore William prove not a fool by being too fearful.  
O my dear friend Francis, quoth he, how can I suppose I should speed well, seeing she disdains Doctor Burket, and refuses Master Alderman, & will show no countenance to gallant Master Nevell; what a bad reason is this quoth Francis, some cannot abide to eat of a Pig: some to taste of an Eel, othersome are sick if they see but a Crab, and divers cannot away with cheese: yet none of them all but do live by their virtuals, every man hath his fancy, & every woman will follow her own mind, and therefore though she found not an Alderman or a Doctor for her diet yet she may think William her man a fit morsel for her own tooth. I wis quoth William, thy reasons are goo●, and I have advantage above all other suitors to follow my suit, being in the house daily with her, and every evening when they are away beside she hath appointed me this after ●oone to come to her Closet, that I may show her my reckoning and accounts & in what sort her state standeth: wherefore seeing I have such occasion, I will no longer trifle out the time: but so soon as that business is ended, put myself to the hazard of my happy fortune: wherefore good Francis farewell till I see thee again, & how I speed, at our next meeting thou shalt know. The time at last being come that Mistress Farmer had appointed ●o have her books cast over getting into her closet she whistled for her Maid, & bade her call up William, & quoth she let him bring his books of account with him: the maid did as her Mistress commanded, & up comes William with his books under his arms: & after he had very reverently done his duty to his Mistress, she had him sit down saying, now William let me see these reckonings justly cast up, for it is long since I have cast an eye into mine estate. Mistress quoth he, doubt not but your estate is good, and your accounts justly kept for I have had as great regard thereto as the goods had been my own. Therein quoth she I am the more beholding to thee, neither shall thy true service go unrewarded if I live; or if I die thou shalt not be altogether forgotten.  
These kind speeches greatly comforted William's heart, whereupon he fell to his reckonings roundly, till his mind running too much on his Mistress beauty, sometimes he would miss and count thrée-score, and fourscore, nine-score: Nay there you fail quoth his Mistress, and over-fell forty, for three and four is but seven, 'tis true indeed Mistress (said he) and three times seven is just five and twenty: I tell thee quoth she, 'tis buton● and twenty, what fellow begin you to do●e in your young years?  
O my dear Mistress said he blame me not if I do so, seeing your sweet presence hath made fare wiser than myself to do●e: O my good Mistress pardon my presumption, for being thus bold to unburden my heart's grief unto you, my hearty love to your sweet self is so great, that except you vouchsafe favourably to censure, and kindly to judge thereof, that the sorrows of my mind will wound my very soul, and make my life loathsome unto me.  
Wherefore my good Mistress, despise not your poor servant, but yield unto him such succour, as may prolong his days with many blessed hours.  
His Mistress obscuring her beauty with lowering brows, (like foggy vapours that blot the sky) made him this answer: How now Sirrah, hath my too much mildness made you thus saucy? can you set your love at no lower a pitch, but you must mount to be Master of your Mistress?  
No Mistress quoth he, no master, but your servant for ever. Go to, leave your prating quoth she, or I will break thy head I swear, have I refused as thou seest, a grave and wealth Alderman that might make me a Mistress of worship and digni●y, and denied master Doctor of his request, who as thou ●●owest is at this day esteemed the cunningest Physician in London, and divers other honest and well landed Gentlemen, and among the rest young Master Nevell, whoas some say is decsended of a noble house, and whose love I dare swear is to me most firmly devoted so that in my heart I am persuaded he loves the ground the better that I tread on: & should I, (I say) forsake all these to make my foot my head, and my servant my superior to marry thee which art a Apprentice boy?  
Nay Sir quoth she, seeing you are grown so lusty, 'tis time to tame you and look to your steps: therefore I charge you leave the shop and get you into the kitchen to help the Maid so wash the dishes and scour the Ketiles; and whereas since my husband's decease I have given four nobles a year to a water bearer, I will make thee save me that charges, for it is well seen, that too long the water Tankard hath been kept from thy lazy shoulders, and if thou scornest to do this, get where thou wilt; but if thou wilt remain with me, so long as thou hast a day to serve, thou shalt be thus employed.  
Hereupon she called up her man Richard to supply his place, and to be foreman of the shop, gracing him with the keys of the counting house: which William seeing, sadly went out of her sight, woefully to himself bewailing his hard fortune, but yet such was his love to his Mistress, that he rather chose to be drudge in her kitchen, then to change her service for any other. All the servants in the house much mused at this alteration: but to no creature did his Mistress tell the cause thereof, but kept it secret to herself: toward the evening, forth he must needs go for water, at what time he wanted no flouts of all his fellows, nor of many of the neighbour's servants: where meeting with his friend Francis, discoursed to him the whole cause of his disgrace: he greatly chase thereat, persuaded him never to endure such base drudgery, but rather to seek preferment in some other place.  
Notwithstanding William would not follow his counsel, but rather chose patiently to abide all brunts night being come, and supper ended, William was set to perform his penance for his presumption in love, that is to say, to scrape the trenchers, scour the kettles and spits, and to wash up the dishes: which he went about with such good will, that it seemed to him rather a pleasure then a pain.  
His Mistress closet joining to the kitchen, had a secret place therein to look into the kitchen, were closely sitting, she earnestly beheld her man how he bestirred himself in his business: Whereupon she entered into this consideration with herself. Now i'll for shame, how Ill doth it beseem me to set so handsome a youth to such drudgery? if he bore a man's mind he would never endure it, but being of a base and servile condition, he d●th ●asily endure the yoke of servitude, and yet I am too blame so to think, for if he had stubbornly disobeyed my commandment how could I otherwise judge, but that in pride and disdain he thought himself too good to be at any direction: some servants would in such a case have given me many foul words, and rather malapertly set me at naught, and forsake my service, then to have endured the terms of disgrace that he hath done by this means: but hereby it is evident that love thinks nothing too much. Well Will quoth she; the virtue of thy mind shall breed better thoughts in thy Mistress, which shall make her reward thy good will in a large measure: see see how neatly he goes through his work, how handsomely he handles every thing: and surely well may I suppose that he which is so faithful a servant, would certainly prove a kind husband, for this hath been no slender trial of his constant heart. With that hearing the Maid and some other of the servants talk with him, she lending a heedful ear to their speech, heard them speak to this purpose: good Lord William quoth one, I marvel much that you being of so good parents and having so little a while to serve, will be thus used at her hands? it were too much if you were but this day bound apprentice, to be set to such slavery: I swear quoth an other, I have three times longer to serve than you and if she should bid me do as thou dost, I would bid her do it herself with a morin: I'll tell you what quoth the third, I'll be plain and use but few words, but I would see my fair Mistress with the black Devil before I would do it.  
Well we●l my masters quoth William, you are mad merry wags but I take it as great favour done me by my Mistress thus to employ me, that thereby I might have knowledge how to deck up a kitchen that meeting with a bad huswife to my wife I know how to instruct her in household affairs: I care for no such favour said he.  
Their Mistress hearing all, said nothing, but determined to try them all what they would do ere it were long: wherefore being now greatly affectioned to her man, covered her love with such discretion, that none could perceive it. For Master Doctor being newly returned, came thither puffing and blowing saying, he was never so served since he was borne; quoth he, since I was here, I have at lest ridden an hundred miles with an arrant knave that carried me I knew not whether: he road with me out of Bishopsgate forth right as far as Ware, and then compassing all Suffolk, and Norfolk, he brought me back again through Essex, and so conducted me to Black-wall in Middlesex to seek out my Lady Swinborne, my good Lady and Mistress: at last I saw it was no such matter, but the villain being disposed to mock me, brought me to a woman Egyptian, as black as the great Devil, who lay in childbed and was but delivered of a child of her own colour: to the which in despite of my herd they made me be Godfather, where it cost me three crowns, and I was glad I so escaped, and who was the author of all this deceit but Master Nevell? but if ever I come to give him Physic, if I make him not have the squirt for five days, count me the veriest dunce that ever wore velvet cap.  
Master Doctor quoth she, I am very sorry you were so used, notwithstanding to make Master Nevell and you friends I will bestow a breakfast upon you to morrow, if it please you to accept my offer. Fair Widow quoth he, never a one in the world would have urged me to be friends with him but yourself, and I am contented for your sake to do it: and thus till next morning he took his leave.  
Next day as soon as she was up she called up one of her men saying, Sirrah run quickly, take a basket and fetch me a bushel of oysters from Billingsgate; the fellow frowning said, I pray you sand another, for I am busy in the shop.  
Why knade quoth she, I'll have thee go, quoth he, make a drudge of some other and not of me, for to be plain I will not go. Not quoth she, call me Richard hither: when he came, she desired him very gently to fetch her a bushel of oysters.  
Why Mistress quoth he, my friends set me not here to be a Porter to fetch Oysters from Billingsgate. I tell you true, I scorn you should require any such matter of me. Is it true quoth she? very well, I will remember this when you forget it. Thus when she had tried them all, she called her man William, saying: sirrah goodman scullion take the great close basket, and fetch me a bushel of oysters from Billingsgate, & look you tarry not. I will forsooth Mistress quoth he, & presently away he went with such good will as none could go with better, being marvellous glad that she would request any thing at his hands.  
When he was come again, with a smiling countenance she said, what Wilkin art thou come already? it is well done, I pray thee bring some of them up into my Closet, that I may taste how good they be: yes forsooth quoth William, and after her he went, the Maid likewise carried up a couple of white manchets, and with a Diaper napkin covered the table. Now Maid quoth she, fetch me a pint of the best read wine: I will forsooth said the Maid.  
Mistress said William, if it please you, I will open your Oysters for you; I pray you do quoth she: then taking a towel on his arm, and a knife in his hand, being glad he had gotten so good an office, shown himself so feat and expert in his occupation, that he opened as fast as his Mistress could eat.  
Believe me William quoth she, you are nimble at an oyster, and quick in carving up shell fish, though dull in casting up accounts, I pray thee tell me how many shells are in three and thirty oysters? Threescore and six said William: you are a witty youth quoth she, if thy speech be true it must then needs follow that I have eaten three and thirty oysters, have also devoured threescore and six shells, which is too much for one woman's breakfast in a cold morning in conscience, and therefore I had need quickly to give over, lest I break my belly with oyster shells: whereupon she called her maid, saying: come hither joane, and bring me a goblet of wine that I may wash William's shells from my stomach.  
Indeed Mistress quoth he, if you take my words so, I spoke without book: it is true quoth she, for they are always without that are never within, and either thy knowledge is small, or thy blindness great, or oyster shells very soft, that I should eat so many and never feel one: for surely, if there be threescore and six oyster shells in three and thirty oysters, there must needs be as many more in three and thirty oysters: and to affirm my words true, behold here the shells that were out of the oysters, now show me those that were within the oysters. William seeing his Mistress thus pleasant, began to gather some courage to himself, and therefore thus uttered his mind: Dear Mistress, needs must I prove both blind in sight, and dull in conceit, while your fair eyes that gives light to the Sun obscure themselves, and dark the glory of their shine, when I seek to receive comfort thereby: and the want of your good will makes my wits so weak, that like a barren tree it yields no fruit at all.  
True quoth she: three times seven is just five and twenty: but tell me what is the cause that moves thee to desire my favour, and to request my good will? Good Mistress pardon me quoth he, and I will tell you: whereupon she replied, saying, trust me William, my pardon is easier to be gotten then the Popes, and therefore be not afraid to proceed. Why then my dear Mistress, seeing you have so graciously granted liberty to my heart's advocate, to plead at the bar of your beauty, and to open the bill of my complaint: know this, that hope against hope persuaded me to labour for your love, that gaining the same I might be called a blessed man by winning such a wife.  
What Will quoth she, art thou not ashamed, that such a youth as thyself, a lad, a stripling, a apprentice boy, should in the ignorance of his age, cumber himself with the cares of the world, and wantonly take a wife, that knows not how to guide himself? I tell thee fellow, first learn to thrive, and then wive. O my dear Mistress, said William, let not pleasant youth which is the glory of many be a disgrace to me: neither without trial dear Mistress disable not my manhood, which now I take to be in his chief prime.  
Nay quoth she, if thou wilt have thy manhood tried, prepare thyself for the wars, and purchase honour by beating down our country's foes, and so shalt thou wear the golden wreath of honour for ever. In troth Mistress quoth he, I had rather have my manhood tried in another place. Y faith where quoth she? by my troth said he, in your soft bed, which is far better than the hard field: why thou bold knave quoth she, it were a good deed to make you a bird of Bridewell, for your sauciness. Believe me Mistress quoth he, I am sorry you should be offended, rather will I get me into a corner and die through disdain, then stay in your sight and grieve you? and with that away he went. She seeing him so hastily departed, called him again saying: William come hither, turn again you faint hearted coward, what art thou afraid of Bridewell? use thyself well, and I will be thy friend: the young man that with these words was revived like a sick man out of a dead sound, turning merrily to his Mistress, gave her a kiss, saying: on that condition I give you this. How now sir quoth she, I called you not back to be so bold: in good sadness do so again, and I will give you on the ear.  
Nay Mistress quoth he, if that be all the danger, take then another, and lay me on the ear (so I may lay you on the lips) and spare not: nay then said his Mistress, I see my too much softness makes thee saucy, therefore for fear thou shouldest catch a surfeit, I charge thee on pain of love's displeasure, to get you down about your business, and see that all things be in readiness against my friends come: why go you not? what stand you in a maze? pack I say and be gone.  
And thus my dear Mistress quoth he, parts my soul out of Paradise, and my heart from heaven's joy: notwithstanding you command and I consent and always let me find favour, as I am forward to follow your precepts, and therewithal away he went.  
He was no sooner gone, but she having determined what to do, sent for her friends, at what time the Alderman coming thither, and Master Doctor, she had also invited Master Peachie and his Wife, and with them came gallant young Nevil.  
When they were all set at the table, after they had well tasted of the delicates there prepared: Mistress Farmer told them for two causes she had requested their company that day to breakfast: the one was, that master Doctor and young Nevil might be made friends: and the other that in their sight she might make herself sure to her husband, that they might be witness of their vows.  
The company said, they should be very glad to see so good a work performed: whereupon she calling up all her men servants, spoke to this purpose. My good friends and kind neighbours, because I will have none ignorant, of that which is to be effected, I have presumed to bring my servants into your presence, that they also may bear record of the reconciliation betwixt Master Doctor and Master Nevil, and therefore my Masters, if your hearts consent to an unity, declare it by shaking hands, that it may not be said, that my house was the breeder of brawls, and on that condition I drink to you both: the Gentlemen both pledged her, and according to her request ended the quarrel.  
When this was done, she merrily told them, that among her men she had chosen her Master: albeit quoth she, this matter may seem strange in your sight, and my fancy too much ruled by folly, yet this my determination I purpose by God's grace to follow, hoping it shall breed no offence to any in the company, in such a chance to make mine own choice.  
Her man Richard, & the rest that supposed themselves most graced by her favours, began at this speech to look something pert, and all the company held opinion that she bore the best mind to the foreman of her Shop: for first of all turning her speech to him, she said: Richard come hither, thou hast greatly to praise God for making thee so proper a man, thou art a neat fellow, and hast excellent qualities, for thou art not proud, nor high minded, but hast a care to thy business, and to keep the Shop: and because I have committed great matters into thy hands, I pray thee go down and look to thy charge, for I have nothing more to say to thee at this time.  
The fellow at these words looked as blue under the eyes, as a stolen Codshead under the gill: and going down the stairs shook his head like one that had a flea in his ear.  
Now come hither john quoth she, I must needs say thou art come of good parents, & thou know'st they bound thee not Apprentice to fetch oysters from Billingsgate like a Porter, nor to have thy dainty fingers set to drudgery, therefore good john get you down after your fellow, for here is nothing for you to do at this time.  
Her man William, that all this while was playing the scullion in the kitchen was then sent for, who coming before the company with his face all begrimed, and his  all greasy, his Mistress spoke in this manner. What a slovenlie knave comes here? were not this a fit man think ye to be Master of this house and Lord of my love?  
Now by my troth said Mistress Peachie, I never saw a more unhandsome fellow in my life: f●e how he stinks of kitchen stuff: what a face and neck hath he? a body might set Léekes in the very dirt of his lips. I think in my conscience three pound of Soap, & a barrel of Water is little enough to scour him clean: the like flouts used all the rest at poor William, to which his Mistress made this answer.  
Good Lord my masters, how much do your sights deceive you? in my sight he looks the loveliest of them all, having a pleasant countenance, and a good grace, and so pleasing is he in every part to my sight, that surely if he will accept of me for his wife, I will not refuse him for my husband: her friends looking one upon another, and marveling at her speech, thought verily she had but jested, till such time she took him by the hand, and gave him a kiss.  
Whereupon William spoke thus unto her: fair Mistress, seeing it hath pleased you, beyond my desert, and contrary to my expectation to make me so gracious an offer, worthy I were to live a beggar, if I should refuse such a treasure: and thereupon I give you my heart and my hand: and I receive it quoth she, for it is thy virtue and true humility that hath conquered my former conceits, for few men would have won a wife as thou didst. Not, how did he win you said Harris Nevil? by fetching oysters from Billingsgate quoth she, which I know you would not have done, seeing all the rest of my servants scorned to do it at my request: 'Sblood quoth Harrie, by feching of oysters: I would have fetch oysters, and muzzles, and cockles too, to have got so good a bargain.  
The Alderman and the Doctor looked strangely at this matter: nevertheless seeing it was not to be helped, they commended her choice, saying: it was better for a man in such a case, to be favourable in a woman's eyes, then to have much gold in his coffers. Then did she set her black man by her white side, and calling the rest of her servants (in the sight of her friends) she made them do reverence unto him, whom they for his drudgery scorned so much before: so the breakfast ended, she willed them a●l next morning, to bear him company to Church, against which time, William was so daintily tricht up, that all those which beheld him, confessed he was a most comely, trim, and proper man, and after they were married, they lived long together in joy and prosperous estate.  
Harrie Nevil became so grieved hereat, that soon after he went from Master Peachie, and dwelled with a Goldsmith, and when he had been a while there, committing a fault with his Master's daughter, he departed thence and became a Barber-Surgion: but there his Mistress and he were so familiar, that it nothing pleased his Master, so that in half a year he sought a new service and became a Cook: and then a Comfetmaker dwelling with master Baltazar, where after he grew something cunning, having done some shrewd turn in that place, he forsook that service: and became a Smith, where their maid judeth fell so highly in love with him that he for pure good will which he bore her, shown his Master a fair pair of heels: and then practised to be a joiner, where he continued till he heard his Father was sick, who for his abominable swearing had cast him from his favour, but after he had long missed him, and that he could hear no tidings of his untoward and wild wanton Son, he sent into divers places to inquire for him, and at last one of this servants lighed where he was, by which means he came to his father again: who in a few years after, leaving his life, this son Harrie became Lord of all his lands: and coming upon a day to London with his men waiting upon him, he caused a great dinner to be prepared, and sent for all those that had been his masters and mistresses: who being come, he thus began to common with them My good friends, I understand that a certain kinsman of mine was sometimes your servant, and as I take it, his name was Herrie N●v●ll: who as I hear, used himself but homely toward you, being a very wild and ungracious fellow, the report whereof hath been some grief to me, being one that always wished him well: wherefore look what damage he hath done you I pray you tell me, and I am content with reason to see you satisfied, so that he may have your favours to be made a freeman.  
Surely sir said Peachie for mine own part I can say little, save only that he was so full of love, that he would seldom follow his business at his occupation: but that matter I freely forgive and will not be his hindrance in any thing. Mary sir said the Goldsmith, I cannot say to: for truly sir he played the thief in my house, robbing my daughter of her maidenhead, which he nor you is ever able to recompense, though you gave me a thousand pound, yet I thank God she is married and doth well, I am the glader of that said the Gentleman, and for that fault I will give toward her maintenance forty pound.  
The Barber hearing him say so, told him that he had injured him as much, and had been more bold a great deal than became him, whereby (quoth he) I was made a scorn among my neighbours. Tush you speak of ill will said the Gentleman, if your wife will say so I will believe it: to which words the woman made this answer. Good sir, will you believe me there was never so much matter, the youth was an honest fair conditioned young man, but my husband bearing a naughty jealous mind, grew suspicious without cause, only because he saw that his servant was kind and gentle unto me, and would have done any thing that I requested: notwithstanding I have had many a fowl word for his sake, and carried some bitter blows too, but all is one, I am not the first woman that hath suffered injury without cause: alas good soul said the Gentleman, I am right sorry for thy grief, and to make thee amend. I will bestow on thee twenty Angels, so your husband will not take it in dudgeon; the woman with a low cursed gave him thanks, saying: truly sir I am highly beholding to you, and truly I shall love you the better because you are so like him. The smith likewise for his maid said all that he might, to whose marriage the Gentleman gave twenty pound: thus after he had fully ended with them all, he made himself known unto them, at what time they all rejoiced greatly, and then after he had bestowed on them a sumptuous dinner, they all departed. And ever after, this Gentleman kept men of all these occupations in his own house, himself being as good a workman as any of them all.   

CHAP. X. Of the green king of S. Martin's and his merry feats.  
THere dwelled in S. Martin's a jolly Shoemaker, he was commonly called the Green king, for that upon a time he shown himself before King Henry, with all his men clothed in green, he himself being suited all in green Satin. He was a man very humorous, of small stature, but most courageous, and continually he used the Fencing: school when he went abroad, he carried always a two handed sword on his shoulder, or under his arm: he kept continually thirty or forty servants, and kept in his house most bountiful fare: you shall understand that in his young years, his father dying, left him a good portion, so that he was in great credit and estimation among his neighbours, and that which made him more happy, was this, that God blessed him with the gift of a good wife, who was a very comely young woman, and therewithal very careful for his commodity: but he whose mind was altogether of merriment, little respected his profit in regard of his pleasure: insomuch that through his wasteful expense he brought poverty upon himself ere he was ware, so that he could not do as he was accustomed: which when his daily companions perceived, they by little and little shunned his company, and if at any time he passed by them, perhaps they would lend him a nod, or give him a good morrow and make no more a do.  
And is it true quoth the Green king, doth want of money part good company, or is my countenance changed, that they do not know me? I have seen the day when never a knave of them all, but would have made much of my dog for my sake, and have given me twenty salutations on a Sunday morning, for one poor pint of Muskadine: and what, hath a throd bore cloak scared all good fellowship? why though I have not my wont habits, I have still the same heart: and though my money be gone, my mind is not altered: why then what jacks are they to reject me? I, I, now I find my wife's tale true, for than she was wont to say, Husband, husband, refrain these trencher flies, these smooth faced flatterers, that like drones live upon the honey of your labour and suck away the sweetness of your substance. I wis, I wis, if once you should come in want, there is not the best of them all, that would trust you for tengroates': by which saying I'll lay my life she is a witch, for it is come as just to pass as Marlins' prophecy. I would the other day but have borrowed 12 d. & I tried 13 f●inds, & went without it: it being so, let them go hung themselves for I will into Flanders, that is flat, and leave these slaves to their servile conditions, where I will try if a firkin barrel of butter been worth a pot of strong beer, and a load of Holland cheese, better than a gallon of Charnico: and if it be by the cross of this sword I will never stain my credit with such a base commodity again.  
With that he went to his wife, saying: woman dost thou hear? I pray thee look well to thy business till I come again: for why? to drive away melancholy, I am minded to walk a mile or twain: but husband quoth she, were you there where you laid your plate to pawn? I pray you is it not misused? and is it safe? wo●an quoth he I was there, and it is safe I warrant thee, for ever coming into thy hands again, thou knowest I borrowed but twenty mark on it, and they have sold it for twenty pound: 'tis gone wife, 'tis gone. O husband's quoth she, what hard fortune have we to be so ill dealt withal? and therewithal she wept, f●e quoth he leave thy weeping, hung it up, let it go, the best is, it never cost us groat: were our friends living that gave us that, they would give us more: but in vain it is to mourn for a matter that cannot be helped, farewell wife, look to thy house, and let the b●●●s ply their work. The green king having thus taken his l●ave, went toward Billingsgate, of purpose to take Barge: w●ere by the way he met with Anthony now now the firkin Fiddler of Finchlane: What master quoth he, well met, I pray whither are you walking? a●● how do all our friends in saint Martins? Will you not have a crash ere you go?  
Y faith Anthony quoth he, thou knowest I am a good fellow, and one that hath not been a niggard to thee at any time, therefore if thou wilt bestow any music on me do, and if it please God that I return safely from Flanders again, I will pay thee well for thy pains; but now I have no money for music: Godsnigs quoth Anthony, whether you have money or not, you shall have music, I do not always request coin of my feiends for my cunning: what, you are not every body, and seeing you are going beyond sea, I will bestow a pint of wine on you at the Salutation: sayest thou so Anthony quoth he, in good sooth I will not refuse thy courtesy, and with that they stepped into the Tavern, where Anthony called for wine: and drawing forth his Fiddle began to play, and after he had scraped half a score lessons he began to sing.  
When should a man show himself gentle and kind,  
When should a man comfort the sorrowful mind?  
O Anthony now, now, now.  
O Anthony now, now, now.  
When is the best time to drink with a friend?  
When is it meetest my money to spend?  
O Anthony now, now, now.  
O Anthony now, now, now.  
When goes the King of good fellows away?  
That so much delighted in dancing and play?  
O Anthony now, now, now.  
O Anthony now, now, now.  
And when should I bid my Master farewell?  
Whose bounty and courtesy so did excel?  
O Anthony now, now, now.  
O Anthony now, now, now.  
Lo ye now Master quoth he, this song have I made for your sake, and by the grace of God when you are gone I will sing it every Sunday morning under your wife's window, that she may know we drank together ere you parted: I pray thee do so said the Green king, and do my commendations unto her, and tell her at my return I hope to make merry.  
Thus after they had made an end of their wine, and paid for the shot, Anthony putting up his Fiddle departed seeking to change music for money: while the Green king of Saint Martins sailed in Gravesend Barge. But Anthony in his absence sung this song so often in Saint Martins, that thereby he purchased a name which he never lost till his dying day, for ever after men called him nothing but Anthony now now.  
But it is to be remembered that the Green king's wife became so careful in her business, and governed herself with such wisdom in all her affairs, that during her husband's absence she did not only pay many of his debts, but also got into her house every thing that was necessary to be had, the which her diligence won such commendations, that her credit in all places was very good, and her gains (through God's blessing) came so flowing in, that before her husband came home, she was had in good reputation with her neighbours: and having no need of any of their favours, every one was ready to proffer her courtesy, saying good neighbour if you want any thing tell us, and look what friendship we may do you, be sure you shall found it.  
I neighbour quoth she, I know your kindness, and may speak thereof by experience: well may I compare you to him that would never bid any man to dinner, but at two of the clock in the after noon, when he was assured they had filled their bellies before, and that they would not touch his meat, except for manners sake: wherefore for my part I will give you thanks, when I take benefit of your proffer.  
Why neighbour we speak for good will quoth they: 'tis true quoth she, and so say they that call for a fresh quart to bestow on a drunken man, when they know it would do him as much good in his boots as in his belly.  
Well neighbour quoth they, God be thanked that you have no cause to use friends: Marry Amen quoth sh●e, for if I had I think I should find few here, There and the like greetings were often betwixt her and her neighbours.  
Till at last her husband came home, & to his great comfort found his estate so good, that he had great cause to praise God for the same, for a warm purse is the best medicine for a cold heart that may be. The green king therefore bearing himself as brave as ever he did, having sworn himself a faithful companion to his two hand-sworde, would never go without it.  
Now when his ancient acquaintance law him again so gallant, every one was ready to curry favour with him, and many would proffer him the wine. And where before they were wont scornfully to thrust him next the kennel, and nothing to respect his poverty, they gave him now the upper hand in every place, saluting him with cap and knee: but he remembering how slightly they set by him in his need, did now as slightly esteem their flattery, saying: I cry you mercy, me thinks I have seen your face but I never knew you for my friend. Not quoth one, I devil at Aldersgate, and am your near neighbour, and so much the worse said the Green king: wherefore quoth the other? Because said he, I think the place meet for an honester man. I trust sir said his neighbour, you know no hurt by me.  
Nor any goodness quoth the green king, but I remember you are he, or one of them of whom once I would have borrowed forty pence, yet could not get it, if thereby I might have saved fifty lives: therefore goodman hog, goodman cog, or goodman dog, choose you which, scrape no acquaintance of me, nor come any more in my company, I would advice you, lest with my long sword I crop your coward's legs, and make you stand like Saint Martin's beggar upon two stilts. The fellow hearing him say so, went his ways, and never durst speak to him afterward.   

Chap. 11. How the Green King went a walking with his wife, and got Anthony now now to play before them, in which sort he went with her to Bristol.  
THe Green king being a man that was much given to go abroad, his wife upon a time, thus made her moan to him: good Lord husband quoth she, I think you are the unkindest man alive, for as often as you walk abroad, you were never the man that would take me in your company: it is no small grief to me, while I sit doting at home, every Sunday and Holiday, to see how kindly other men walk with their wives, and lovingly bear them company into the fields, that thereby they may have some recreation after their weeks weary toil: this pleasure have they for their pains, but I poor soul could never get such courtesy at your hands: either it must needs be that you love me but little, or else you are ashamed of my company, and I tell you true you have no reason either for the one or the other. Certainly wife said he, I should be sorry to drive any such conceit into thy head, but seeing you found yourself grieved in this kind, let me entreat thee to be content, and when thou shalt perceive that my love is not small toward thee, nor my liking so bad to be ashamed to have thee go by my side, Thursday next is Saint james day, against which time prepare thyself to go with me to the fair, where by the grace of God I'll bestow a fat Pig upon thee, and there I mean to be merry: and doubt not but I will walk with thee till thou art weary of walking. Nay quoth she, I should never be weary of your company, though I went with you to the World's end: God a mercy for that wife quoth he, but so doing I doubt I should try you a very good foote-woman, or a bad flatterer.  
Thus it past till Thursday came, in the mean season meeting with two or three other shoemakers, he asked them if they would walk with him and his wife to Saint james fair: That we will with all our hearts: but will you not like flinchers fly from your words quoth he? To that (they said) if they did they would forfeit a gallon of wine.  
Tush said the green king, talk not so me of a gallon of wine, but will you be bound in twenty pound a piece to perform it? Why what needs bands for such a matter quoth they? we trust you will take our words for more than that. My masters said the green king, the world is grown to that pass, that words are counted but wind, and I will trust you as little on your word as Long Meg on her honesty: therefore if you will not be bound, choose, I will make no account of your company. The men hearing him say so, knowing him to be a man of a merry mind, after their wits were all washed with wine, to the Scriveners they went, and bound themselves in twenty pound according to his request.  
They had no sooner made an end of this merry match, but as they stumbled into another Tavern, who should they meet but Anthony now now: who as soon as he spied the green King smiling with a wry mouth he joyfully embraced him with both his hands, saying: what my good master well met, when came you from the other side the water? by my troth you are welcome with all my heart. God a mercy good Anthony quoth he, but how chance you come no more into Saint Martin's?  
O Master quoth he, you know what a dainty commodity I made at your parting to Gravesendbarge? Yes marry said the green king what of that? why quoth he by singing it under your window, all the merry shoemakers in Saint Martins took it by the toe: and now they have made it even as common as a printed Ballad, and I have gotten such a name by it, that now I am called nothing but Anthony now now.  
Why Master i'll tell you, it hath made me as well acquainted in Cheapside, as the cat in the cream pan: for as soon as the Goldesmiths' wives spy me, and as I pass along by the Merchant's daughters, the apes will laugh at me as passes: beside that all the little boys in the streets will run after me like a sort of Emits. Anthony now now says one: Anthony now now another: good Lord, good Lord, you never knew the like: hear ye master? I am sure that song hath gotten me since you went, more pence than your wife hath pins: and seeing you are come again, I will make the second part very shortly.  
But hearest thou Anthony said he? if thou wilt come to me on Saint james his day in the Morning, thou shalt walk with us to the fair, for I mean to make merry with my wife that day: Master quoth he, by cock and pie, I will not miss you. And thus after they had made Anthony drink he departed.  
Saint james his day at last being come, he called up his wife betimes, and bade her make her ready, if she would to the fair: who very willingly did so: and in the mean space her husband went to his cupboard, and took thereout forty fair sovereigns, and going secretly to one of his servants, he willed him to take good heed of his house, and to see that his fellows plied their business: for quoth he, I go with my wife to Saint james fair, and perhaps you shall not see us again this seven-night: Well Master said the fellow, I will have regard to your business I warrant you. Wherewith he called his wife, saying: come wife will you walk? with a good will husband quoth she, I am ready: with that Anthony now now, began to scrape on his treable vial, and playing a huntsup, said good morrow master good morrow, four a clock and a fair morning.  
Well said Anthony quoth he, we be ready for thy company, therefore along before, and let us hear what music you can make. Fie husband quoth she, take not the Fiddler with you for shame: tush be content quoth he, Music makes a sad mind merry: so away they went, and at Saint Giles in the fields he met the rest of his company: well found my masters quoth he, I perceive you have a care of your bonds: so away they went with the Fiddler before them, & the Green king with his two hand sword marching like a master of Fenc going to play his prize: when they came to the high way turning down to Westminster, his wife said: i'faith husband we shall come to the fair too soon, for God's sake let us walk a little further. Content wife quoth he, whereupon they went to Kensington, where they broke their fast, and had good sport by tumbling on the green grass, where Anthony broke his Fiddle, for which cause the Green king gave him ten shillings, and willed him to go back and buy a new one.  
And now my friends quoth he, if you will walk with me to Brainford I will bestow your dinner upon you, because I have a a mind to walk with my wife? they were content, but by that time they came there, the woman began to wax somewhat weary, & because the day was fare spent before they had dined, they lay there all night: where he told his friends that the next morning he would bring his wife to see the George in Colebrook, and then would turn home: but to be brief, when he came there, he told them flatly he meant to go to Saint james his fair at Bristol: for qûoth he my wife hath longed to walk with me, and I mean to give her walking-worke enough▪ But sir quoth they, we mean not to go thither: before God but you shall quoth he, or forfeit your band. The men seeing no remedy, went along to Bristol on foot, whereby the poor woman became so weary, that an hundred times she wished she had not come forth of doors: but from that time till she died, she never entreated her husband to walk with her again.  
An hundred merry feats more did he, which in this place is too much to be set down. For afterward Tom Drum coming from the winning of Mustleborow, came to devil with him, where he discoursed all his adventures, in the wars: and according to his old cogging humour, attributed other men's deeds to himself, for quoth he, it was I that killed the first Scot in the battle, yet I was content to give the honour thereof to Sir Michael Musgrave, notwithstanding quoth he● all men knows that this hand of mine killed Tom Trotter that terrible traitor, which in despite of us, kept the Castle so long, & at last as he cowardly forsook it, and secretly sought to fly, with this blade of mine I broached him like a roasting pig. Moreover, Parson Ribble had never made himself so famous but by my means. These were his daily vaunts, till his lies were so manifest that he could no longer stand in them. But after the Green king had long lived a gallant housekéeper, at last being aged and blind, he died, after he had done many good deeds to divers poor men.  
FINIS.