EPIGRAMS and satires: Made by Richard Middleton of york Gentleman.  
Veritas odium parit.  
Stantifirmè, nullus lapsus.  
LONDON, Printed by NICHOIAS oaks for joseph HARISON dwelling at the sign of the Grey-hound in Pater Noster-Row. 1608.   

To the Gentleman of condign desert William Bellasses.  

TO patron more then truth hath here set forth  
And art in these ensuing Epigrams  
Shall justify, I'll not desire your worth;  
My merit shal not cringe with bended hams  
To crave the censure of obstreperous tongues,  
To comprobate m'inulcerd innocence:  
What I haue writ imputed are no wrongs,  
But unto such whose fury I'll not dispense,  
Mildly to judge or at the least dissemble,  
To attribute each Histerologie  
unto themselves and at surmises tremble,  
judging to be what they're not fit to be:  
For application now is grown a trade,  
And by construction, best the worst is made.   

But if you deem my style too petulant,  
( Outstripping th'limits of chast modesty)  
Or think mine elate verse too insolent,  
( Shrouding great mens crimes in dishonesty.)  
think that the passion to describe the error  
Of such apparent mischief, swelled in time,  
To a deformed Chaos, makes a terror  
In patientst breasts, much more in satires rhyme;  
Therefore I drain the sinews of invention,  
To further length, then reason would admit,  
Yet rightly judge my muse no reprehension,  
Can justly merit( so the best think fit)  
Yet this I'm bold, and will aver it true  
To say, my verse onely hath form from you.   
RICHARD MIDDLETON.   

EPIGRAMS.  

Ad Lectorem.  
judge as thou list, I do not crave thy favor,  
To please myself, I haue employed my labour.  
Yet if thou'lt courteously think well of this,  
A second book shall mend, the first's amiss.   

In Campalum.  
CAmpalus scorns my verse; and what care I?  
I scorn him too, if he scorn poetry.   

In Ebrium.  
NOw do I wish that the egyptians order  
Might be observed in our drunk disorder,  
That every one might be inioynd to tie  
Vpon his head some bide or stinguing fly,  
Who with her biting or her music making  
Might keep the drowsy drunkard still awaking.  
For Ebrius lately drinking custom kept,  
Till drunk he fell i'the streets, and there he slept.   

In Promum.  
AS this world goes ther's none are Gentlemen,  
But those who are enriched with the earths treasure;  
The time hath brought Promus to honor then  
For he gets store of wealth by liquid measure.  
marry his gentry stands in his apparel,  
And that's drawn from the Ale-stand and bear barrel.   

I love no lasse but Nany. In Moechos.  
IF from these words mens thoughts did not dissent,  
Each with his own, full well would rest content:  
But when they sing, I love no lasse but Nany,  
Their meaning is, they scorn not to love any.   

In Mercatorem.  
MErcator turned bancke'rupt of late,  
But twas in policy to uphold his state:  
For had he paid his creditors their due  
( As by his bonds he was bound to deal true)  
His wealth might cofferd be in a small room,  
Or else himself laid low in earthly tomb;  
But by forswearing he did purchase store,  
And by his usury, still augments it more.  
Tis a damned time when villains perjury,  
Begins their states and stands with usury.   

In Longatum.  
LOngato amorous in his Maias eye  
prayed her for a spurt of venery,  
Consenting she his art'rizde strunt he drew,  
And to'es venereous game he hastily flew.  
Hastily begun; but th'end was not in hast:  
For two long houres Longato spent in waste  
Ere the distilling ardour of his reins,  
Bedewd his Maias lust in satiate veins.   

In Eundem.  
MAias forsake Longatoes proffered love,  
For drunk of late, he swore no womand kind,  
Should him unto lascivious habit move:  
And then the drunk-proud-foole, waxed so kind  
He like a Catamite, kist all men about him,  
While they laughed at his folly and did flout him.   

In Eundem.  
LOngato is grown stout, I cannot blame him,  
For two houres lustful combat cannot tame him.  
But he is proud I guess the reason why,  
His sundry Punques manage his bravery,  
For not the bare fees of a pursuivant  
maintain his riot; no his saliant.  
Insulting place hath other paths in store,  
And tracts his gains from many a common whore.   

In Eundem.  
MAias faire son, charmed Argus hundred eyes,  
But proud Longato charms not Maias thighs.  
For worse then Argus eyes they'll still be waking  
Till eyes, thighs, lust, do fall a sleep with shaking.   

In Eundem.  
LOogato'es proud, he scorns to drink with me,  
I'll be proud too, I scorn to writ of thee.   

In Causidicum.  
TWo neighbors dwelling both within one town,  
At discord fell about a patched groune.  
And were so wilful bent no friends advice,  
Should end their svit, but onely laws device.  
Intending thus to work each others end,  
They commence svit and toward London wend  
travailing along, one of them 'haps to find  
A nut shckt off the three by Autumnes wind.  
The other seeing him stoop to the ground,  
cried half of that, his neighbour there had found,  
Which he denied, and said, though twere a straw  
Ere he would give him half heel tri'te by lawe.  
But at the last, th agreed he should haue it  
To whom after advice the Lawyer gave it;  
The nut was kept vnshalde: and on they go:  
unto the lawyer, whom in brief they show  
How by the way they found a nut, and he  
Should hau't to whom his worship would decree;  
The laweyr called to see the nut,( and as  
These neighbours  told the matter that did pass)  
The crafty Lawyer cracked the shell in twain  
eat up the kernel; and in pleasant vain,  
unto each of these clients that hop'de well  
He distributed equal half a shell.  
This being done seeing they were deluded,  
They grieved in mind, and twix't themselves concluded;  
To leave the lawe: for though they took all pains  
Causidicus would sure haue all the gains;  
For by this action they did understand  
The profits of their suits came to his hand.  
Then taking leave of him meriely they said,  
This casting dead of yours, wise hath us made;  
The kernel you haue eat, and the shell now  
( A fitt fee for your cause) we give to you.  
Come neighbour wee'll be friends, our suits are ended  
A nut is better lost then money spended.  
Were Lawyers still used thus, they might wear gowns  
As totterd third-bare, as Friers shaven crownes.   

In Debanum.  
FOure-eid Debanus with surveying care  
looks earnestly at a rebellious hair,  
Intending to correct th'insultnig growth  
Of that rebellions branch, when in good soothe,  
The Gentleman with two eyes on the stool,  
perceives foure-ei'd Debanus is a fool,  
To let his own affect swim in high tide;  
To drown himself in a presumptuous pride.   

In Maiam.  
MAia of late is turned politician,  
And Laticero an Arithmetician;  
In her erected front none can espy  
The littlest type of her dishonesty.  
Yet Laticero( who knows well her guise)  
Counts sixty times hath been between her thighs.  
And from himself by one can multiply,  
With twenty she hath vs'de lusts property.  
Thus Maia cannot keep herself to one;  
But lies with any ere she lye alone.   

In Eandem.  
MAia doth swear shee'll be no more a punk,  
But when she swore so, surely she was drunk;  
Shee's married to a priest( most tall of limb)  
What will she be when she doth cuckolded him?   

In Oenophilum.  
FLat pancht Oenophilus doth affect my rhyme,  
And thinks them not much different from the time.  
But know you how he got his cens'ring wit?  
From the wine hogshead he exhausted it.   

In Vaginiam.  
VAginius changeth good points into bad,  
Such as his friends do wish he never had;  
His trade he changeth into idleness,  
humility into disdainefulnes:  
civility to prodigality,  
And to disorder his formality.  
So that of all points that himself hath made,  
He keeps not one point to maintain his trade:  
That if he turn not from his loitery,  
he'll turn himself to'th point of beggary.   

In Puriam.  
AT cards and dice Puria could never win,  
Therefore she loues no game but blunt pushpin.   

In Parcum& Prodigum.  
A brawl did grow twixt parcall usury  
And profuse riot, voided of strangury,  
Th'one termd retentive 'vice, frugality:  
The other his gentlemans quality.  
Words grew so hot, that neither each forbears,  
But closely fall together by the ears;  
Old father pukfist, knits his arteries,  
First strikes, then rails on Riots villainies.  
Prodigus again, swears by the thing not evil,  
Ere he turn usurer he will turn a devill.  
But had I there been vmpeer in the fray,  
The divell should then, haue usury snatched away.   

In Belum.  
BElus the iustice knight is very wise,  
And in his iudgments, words and acts precise,  
In causes of huge moment and import;  
He'll not presume to deal in any sort:  
As levying our Monarchs subsidies  
Taxes, tenths, fifteens and such services;  
But he's the fittest man in knightly-rage  
To make a seruant content with her wage:  
Which if she should refuse, this is his way,  
He doth command she sit in stocks all day.  
Thus Belus( wisely) in small faults doth pry,  
And lets great matters of the law slip by.  
But the truth is, Belus hath so small wit,  
That for small matters, he is onely fit.   

In Eundem.  
BElus hath purchased store of lands of late,  
Now let him purchase wit to stusse his pate.   

In Eundem.  
Had jeroboam lived in these daies,  
Intending to erect idolatry,  
Two golden calves in Bethel he might raise,  
Without expenses of kis treasury.  
And male and female framed in their kind,  
So huge a pair a man can hardly find.  
More honoured in the country for their goods,  
Then Ieroboams calves in Bethel woods.   

In Conitium.  
INto a brothel house Conitius turned,  
But he came home after his prick was burned.   

In Eundem.  
COmitius like a common hunted fox,  
Is crafty now, since he possessed the pox,  
And swears he'll use his wife and go no more,  
Into the hot concavity of a whore.  
Trust him who list, not I, let him forsweare'em  
He can as well be hanged as forbeare'em   

In Salternum.  
SKipiacke Salternus in his mystery.  
Is very proud through peoples flattery  
And dancing well he likewise thinks his sense  
Can manage matters of huge consequence:  
Therefore he apts his tongue to talk as round,  
As he doth frame his legs to politics sound.  
But trust me by good proof, his talk is such  
As plainly shows he loues to talk too much.   

In Tunacum.  
TUnacus bad a feast, but stolen away,  
And left his bidden guests the shot to pay.   

In Eundem.  
O hateful! Tunachus in his proud state,  
esteems them abjects whose unworthy fate,  
Hath thrown them low, and in a scorned disdain,  
thinks God cannot rear up their state again;  
Thou worst of earth, and worst of the earths nought,  
Bane to thy state, for fostering such a thought:  
thinks thou thy baseness( shrouded in proud weeds)  
appears not to the world by thy loathed deeds?  
Assure they self they do, and thy blunt pen  
( That makes thee swagger, so 'mongst gentlemen)  
maintains not thy proud state: for who so looks  
Shall find thee fettered in the mercers books.   

In Theosiluum.  
ANd whither is she fled? or in what place  
Hath pure Religion coupt herself from men?  
That now she dare not manifest her face,  
But like a shadow comes and goes again?  
I shadow like she comes and therefore dead:  
For seeming piety hath usurped her stead.   

survey the doctrine of the learndst divines,  
And if their actions with their fawes agree,  
Religion then those heavenly breasts confines;  
And from all public scandal ever free.  
Ah! but their lives are evil, and yet we dare not  
speak what we know, yet truth must speak and spare not.   

DId Theosiluus in his house retain,  
A modest matron chastfully appearing?  
And was she not let blood in such a vein  
That Theosiluus his discredit fearing,  
Would in connubio iungere this maid  
unto his man, who bobd her as t'was said?   

but( wisdom) he refused; thus ruminating  
If sociali lecto I adjoin  
This others tried stuff, some will be prating  
It was in conscience, cause the fact was mine.  
No I refuse her, time itself shall try,  
Who was the author of this bastardy.   

THis( wit) the man cleared a huge suspicion,  
Of the supposed crime; then judge I pray,  
How nere the master was to lusts condition;  
Being in the house no other males but they.  
Yet the most earn'st professors of the truth,  
May sometime serve, and play a trick of youth;  
Then Theosiluus be not dismayed a whit,  
Lust made th'offence, though thou bearest blame for it.   

In Torrum.  
CAuse Torrus wants a beard, at the first sight,  
A man supposed him an hermaphrodite:  
Admiring that his statures corpulencie,  
Should of beard-haires, haue such great indigencie.  
Yet though he want his beard I knew time when,  
That Torrus bearded twenty proper men.   

In Vesicanum.  
WHat's he? who? you great man so corpulent,  
That he may seem to bear the firmament  
vpon his shoulders; Oh let him alone,  
He once was counted virtuous and known:  
For gentle, courtuous and affable,  
That few to him might haue been comparable.  
But since that damned fiend Longatoes pride  
possessed his breast all virtue set aside,  
Learning abandond, he falls now a bouzing,  
And hath no other ioy but in carouzing:  
So that thereby this credit he hath won  
gross as a hog to be, round as a tun.   

In Macrum.  
MAacer plays well at bowls, but he hath lost  
As much as twenty unjust pardons cost.   

In Macrum.  
MAcer is lean, yet fats himself with gold,  
What he unjustly doth is not controlled:  
He sues a pardon for a murthrers life,  
The strangler of her husband( accursed wife)  
And hangs the pilfering thief whom poverty  
Drew headlong into thefts enormity.  
Gold she gave Macer, said she would amend,  
Words, he gave Macer, brought him to his end.  
Iustice farewell, injustice I embrace thee,  
I will turn statesman, all I can I'll grace thee.   

In Flaminios.  
FAire plants most like good fruit to haue brought forth,  
Had not your pride diminished your worth;  
Yet though your wealth and statures be so high,  
Your pride doth merit lasting infamy.   

In Histrionanum.  
WHat service Histrionanus goes about,  
Tis for his masters credit out of doubt:  
If he and all his raggamuffins sect,  
Out of the ssumme of cities rogue select,  
In the high time of Sermon do frequent  
His maisters cellars, and incontinent  
Gulpe up a hogshead of fresh double bear  
( That some to bear themselves do stand in fear)  
Yet Histrionanus doubteth not to say,  
Tis his lords credit they go drunk away.  
Nay if he harbour with a whore all night,  
Tis his Lords credit he will swear outright.  
Thus while his masters credit he would win;  
He wracks his own, for none will credit him.   

In Fabritium.  
HIs Sire a drunken smith his trade began,  
And yet his son must be a gentleman.  
Fabritius I could well endure thy name,  
So thou hadst virtue to confirm the same.  
But( las!) what gentry can there rest in thee,  
When base affects jump best with thy degree?   

In Virunam.  
TRust me Viruna, I am grieved at thee,  
Thou wouldst so wilful lose thy memory,  
To exempt none at all from a whores name,  
When thou hast oft been branded with the shane.  
But( if I do not judge amiss) I deem,  
As th'art thyself, others thou dost esteem.   

In Nosyrum.  
WHen one trade failes Nosyrus doth begin,  
To use another for his gain therein.  
As first the taylors nimming occupation  
He hath abandond; and in derogation  
Of that fools lofty trade, he hath betook  
himself a broker; in each merchants book  
he's registered to take up sundry wears;  
For gentlemen( wherein he wants no shares:)  
For by his intercourse between them both;  
Both he deceives, or else he would be loathe.  
And his last trade, an office must be called,  
Is catching men, a Sergeant he's instald.  
Now would I know if any man can tell,  
For which of these sins must he go to hell,  
Stealing, deceit, or wilful perjury,  
In Tailers, Brokers, or in Sergeants fee.   

In Eundem.  
IF Tailers, Brokers, Sergeants trades should fail,  
What would Nosyrus do to get his living?  
Or in what office might he best prevail,  
For his most gain, that men might still be giuing?  
Then this I guess( if he do not abhor it)  
To turn promoter he's a fit man for it.  
In the three last we may find as much evil,  
As several temptations in the devill.  
As dangerous to this our common wealth,  
As Aconitum to a sound mans health.   

In Glabreum.  
GLabreus of late lay with a common whore,  
But now he swears, he'll iogge wit her no more:  
Cause to his labour she did add this mead,  
That time by time his hair fell from his head.   

In Eundem.  
GLabreus, in age, thou needs not fear hairs fall;  
For happy thou in youth thou lost it all.   

In Causidicum& Medicum.  
CAusidicus hast thou no eyes to see,  
Pompilia revel in her luxury?  
Shall Medicus usurp thy nuptial bed:  
And plant brow-antlers on thy secure head?  
Shall the dumb trees on Helicons green banks,  
bear record thou art randg'd in cuckolds ranks?  
By a slim'd venial? for shaine abhor him,  
None but lascivious appetites cares for him.  
But do as th'wilt, were't my case as tis thine,  
' Should give no glisters more to me nor mine.   

In eosdem.  
THe Lawyer and physician do agree  
Almost both one in livings sympathy;  
The one by peoples pride, strife and disdain,  
Th'other by riotous surfeits gets his gain.  
But in this case they both jump without strife,  
That they both lodge with one lascivious wife.   

In Dollabellam.  
signor Pancrates in his sapience,  
Saith this word Pulchritude is no eloquence.  
Now to approve my rhyme in making verses,  
A tale of Dollabella he rehearses.  
He saith Dollabella is so big,  
And so embossed with fat of swine and big,  
That he cannot with hands superiors  
remove the excrements from his posteriors.  
Therefore Pancrates said, this fat gross hog,  
Is still associate with a little dog;  
who when his master walks to ajax seat,  
T'auoid the superfluity of his meat,  
duly attends( said he) and is so kind,  
Lickes with his tongue the excrements behind  
But if his dog be absent, what is then?  
He will not call his maides or serving men;  
To sponge the place; but( in a cunning kind)  
A stake hard by the privy you shall find  
covered with cloth, standing some half yard high,  
Whereon he purges his concavity:  
And stooping down towards the stifned stake,  
With cloth thereon his tail he clean doth make.  
This did Pancrates say, then blame not me,  
I made but th'rime, let him the author be.   

In Messalum.  
IF that he spartans law had been in quest  
( A naked man a naked maid possessed,  
That each by others eye might choose their love,  
And to the sight limbs correspondence prove)  
Then had not Messalus been so beguiled  
To wed a woman seven moneths gon with child.  
And to haue horns the first day he was wed,  
Of that times growth clapped close unto his head.   

In Foeneratorem.  
OLd Foenerator is so miserable,  
That with his usury he will keep no table:  
But all day long scouring his swords from rust,  
He gnaws the sinews of some offell crust.  
marry tis proper to himself, for he gnaws  
Th'artries of men by his extorting laws.  
That if he leave not gnawing, tis in doubt  
The fiend will gnaw his bones, within and out.   

In Fraudento.  
FRaudento is retired from the war,  
honourable much without a wound or searre?  
marry his tattered clothes he came home in,  
witness d th'indur'd the skirmishes for him.   

In Eundem.  
GO to Marcella now, and let her know  
What a great change travail hath brought thee too  
In learning clean conveyance and much more  
skilful to run, then thou wast heretofore.  
And bid her not mistrust to go with thee;  
But haue an eye the prentice do not see.   

In Tertiam.  
TErtia doth call me base and so is she,  
None but base pride scorns honoured poetry:  
She'll not dispense forsooth at all with me  
Thought she my verse wrapped her in infamy:  
Yet greatly fears my Lintius sighted muse  
Should spy the fault she commonly doth use.  
And troth she need not fear me t'is well seen,  
Long from her husband she di●●oynd hath been.   

In Spuriam.  
IN this proud age a nettle-bush( spruce lasse)  
Bastard by nature's married to an ass.  
Now let the Genelogist calculate.  
How much the offspring will degenerate.   

Ad Lectorem.  
IF any think that he who writ this verse,  
Is clogged with more faults then he can rehearse,  
Gain'st any of them whom his exasprat pen  
Hath slightly touched, let them know this in men:  
Ther's emulating spirits that envy  
The prospering height of others dignity;  
And yet mistake me not, I mean not them  
That by condign desert advance their famed.  
Macerated envy scarce speaks ill of those,  
Whom virtues self with honour doth enclose.  
But when the muck-hill rascall overspread  
With heaps of 'vice on his presumptuous head,  
Dons such a vizard t'out face villainy,  
And sets defiance at black infamy,  
Thinking his greatness can out swai's offence,  
Tis he, with whom my muse will not dispense.  
Then let all such as know their faults herein,  
refrain their common appetite of sin:  
For let them think no credit they shall get,  
By blaming th'author in revealing it.  
And in conclusion thus;( excepting none)  
Mend each of you yourselves, and he'll mend one.   
FINIS.   

Times Metamorphosis.  
Made by Richard Middleton.  
Imprinted at London 1608.   

TIMES METAMORPHOSIS. OR Tempora mutantur& nos mutamur in illis.  

OVID thy writ is true; times changed then,  
But much more now amongst this race of men.  
Are not times changed when Caius progeny  
Can flash it out in courtlike gallantry,  
swear, but precisely, talk demurely too?  
Not as his pleading father wont to do,  
To make his jeering voice sound in the ears  
Of's clients, iudges; no, Equestre fears  
To attempt ought, unworthy the degree  
Of his new knight-hood, stain to gentry.  
But is't not strange his thoughts should so aspire  
To put in execution his desire  
even in the birth of his minority  
To mount himself in pride and jollity.  
And closely with his two associates;  
adjoin themselves in company of states,  
And by insinuation purchase that  
Which some as they unworthily haue got?  
Equestro, th'art a knight, I'll not conceal it,  
But many men conjecture thou didst steal it.  
Th'art changed with time, and time doth change with thee  
Thy knighthoodes old, time alter that degree;  
For now a man of better worth then thou,  
Would rather l●ue as his then thou art now,  
Cause such as thou dishonorest that name,  
whilom an honour, now a public shane.  
Our worthy poets( Inginers of wit)  
portray these knights in colours; what for fit?  
But to be represented on a stage  
By the shank buskind actors, who presage,  
A death of gentlemen, plenty of knights;  
Fit for the stews, but far unfit for fights.   

Time changes ho! when lisping ●asoim  
Is turned venerean lascivious;  
sequestering often his expected sight,  
From company of's wife lovely delight,  
And riot with a Senators choice love,  
Swagger whole nights: Cassius do not disprove  
This axiom, which Phocylides writ thus,  
Veneris nouitas, auget dedocus.  
dost thou blushy Casaius? then I will forbear  
To whip thee further: for I do not fear  
But there is hope in thee, thou wilt amend:  
When all thy loss is known that thou didst spend.   

What? sinstering Syluio, thou art changed with time:  
An therefore subject to a critic rhyme.  
But thou art sad, what is the matter man,  
Thou art so tug'd with grief and woe began?  
Is it because thy Giant is enclosed  
In Barathrum t'imprisonment exposed?  
●et that not grieve thee, thou wilt keep thy lands  
as well as Briareus with his hundred hands.  
So thou but keep thy two hands from the dice,  
Body from drabs, faith follow mine advice.  
What grinning now? then I haue angered thee;  
What not? O then I spy the knavery.  
Thy jealous wife is grown suspicious,  
And feels thou art not so luxurious  
Toward herself as thou wert wont to be:  
And therefore Hic& vbique follows thee.  
Now I haue hit it, theres the bitter gull  
That makes thee, drunkard, beast and prodigal.   

monsieur Liberio how hath time changed you?  
You are not at jerusalem or now,  
But by your swartie visage, French aspect  
( According to a vulgar intellect)  
You haue saluted tawny Africa,  
Or been in confines of faire Syria.  
How do the Pagans now in Palestine?  
You cannot tell, beyond France transalpine  
You did not march; O now I smell a fox,  
France to hot, and there you caught the—  
There you lay sick, and at your back returning  
Of wonders did you tell, not of your burning  
And gave it out at every ordinary  
Thou wouldst be married to a votary.  
For which deserts( meriting all mens praise)  
Thou wert d●●d knight( a scandal in these daies.)  
How hast thou paid the Costermongers lasse  
For codlings, and thy fruit? ha● you gulled asle  
leave off thy ●eering, she must needs haue money,  
Follow him wench( hath watko) in the coney.  
he'll pay thee all, or else he'll pawn his raiment.  
But th'wench is sent away without her payment.  
Fie, fie, Liberio, thou hadst ill respect,  
To undertake what thou couldst not effect.  
But time may change thy mind and thou mayst hem  
With measuring place, earthly jerusalem.   

PUlchrius, th'art changed a lad but yesterday,  
Clad in a homely svit of russet gray:  
veiling thy bonnet to thy fathers groom,  
Doing obeisance to each servile clown;  
But now, crept into Lords affinity:  
And linked in a noble progeny.  
And since your marriage in that worthy state,  
Your pristine equals you disdain with hate.  
Dost thou start Pulchrius? do not slinke away,  
hark what th'apothecaries man doth say,  
Nay, pray you slay. I judge that by his look,  
Th'art deeply fetterd in his masters book.  
Good morrow to your worship Pulchrius,  
Here is a note but not contagious  
unto your worships state, where you may know  
What for Tobacco, what for pipes you owe.  
What is the sum? twenty four shillings sir,  
' Zblood, but a trifle, how you keep a stir:  
I'll pay you all, be it as much and more.  
Pu●chrius for shane discharge this ancient score.  
How, can you not the vigour of your purse,  
Cannot so large a quantity disburse.  
Then I percen●e by thee, the best may want,  
Money with 〈◇〉 as beggars is as 〈◇〉.   

BArbato, I salute thee, how dost man?  
What silent, mute, or sullen? I do scan,  
Thine adle-headed brain is studying  
About preciseness, or else versifying.  
Why dost thou wear this beard? each common jade  
Can iest at it; sh'art I do think t'was made  
To stop the entrails of some empty Cushion,  
Therfore snapped off, t'is clean worn out offashion  
But thou dost think it shows thy gravity,  
And actuates thy skill in poetry.  
A Poet said I? I haue heard it often,  
That thou didst scandalise some Gentlewomen.  
Making a catalogue to describe their natures  
And dim the virtues of those choicest creatures.  
How fare our London Poets? thou wast there,  
But smallest profit came unto thy share:  
Thou couldst not frame the level of thy sense  
To architect their verse; therefore from thence  
Thou camest to york, and livest as thou was,  
A self-conceited fool, a silly ass.  
Th'art changed with time,& I may judge with it,  
The gravest Beardmen haue not greatest wit.   

HOw hath time changed Siguior Collegio,  
monsieur precision Academico.  
That he is glewd to his apparel so,  
One knows not whether he doth stand or go:  
He never walks without a special grace.  
observed in decorum of his place.  
And by's behaviour one may well espy,  
Collegio doth intend to sanctify  
Th'exterior show; therefore to his estate,  
He joins Barbato his assotiate.  
In the Cathedral middle spacious walk,  
These two must often commune there& talk:  
But what their conference is, that know not I,  
Yet I may guess, to some conformity  
It tends, of outward action in behaviour  
How to salute with the most easiest labour  
As thus to bend, t'oncouer mutter words,  
That sense to them, no sound to us affords:  
Or( which more liklier is) how to get glory,  
And good-esteeme of men, by seeming holy.  
Wherein if these precisions should haue praise,  
Time must needs change as odious to these daies.   

Luscus th'art changed, thy voice( me think) is changing,  
By haunting females, and by often ranging  
Into their forests; york can witness rightly,  
To what Saints shrine thou pays devotion nightly.  
For thee I scorn my eternising pen,  
Should range thee in this rank of gentlemen:  
But that I mean to show by verse and art,  
What a proud fool, a painted ass thou art,  
The base dependent of a noble man,  
If he can purchase but an old satin svit  
In's own surmise he's strait a gentleman  
But his opinion I can well confute:  
For Robert green doth say and wisely scan,  
A velvet slop makes not a Gentleman.  
Then this dependent wheresoer'e he passes,  
shall be esteemed amongst the rank of asses.   

I mary Sir, what Sapientio?  
How hath time changed you, that thus you go  
Clad in these costly suits? not answer me?  
Then I perceive th'art proud, O loathed degree,  
When that which nature did provide  
To cloath us with, should be the means of pride!  
So haue I seen a muck-hill overspread  
With tapestry, whereon a Prince should tread:  
The tapestry removed, twas then perceiu'd  
To be a muck-hill, and mens sights deceived  
Like thee Apolloes image once was clad  
With raiment, jewels, which the Tyrant had.  
Yelipped Dionysius; O saith he,  
This garment is too much to warm for thee,  
In the estiuall of a sultring heat:  
So wert thou stripped of thy garments neat,  
And clothed as thou deserud'st, then as it was  
Th'wouldst look most like an image of could brass:  
Num, senseless, dumb, without accomplishment,  
Not meet to wear such proud accoustrement.  
Art thou obliged in duty, to some trull,  
Thou'lt change thyself to such a servile guile,  
To wear a nitty look of sulphred hair,  
And let it spread and dandle in the air?  
For shane scorched off like Dionysius,  
Let not the Barber see so disingenuity,  
Sovgly a deformity in man,  
That bears the title of a Christian.  
I pray thee speak, what wearst it for? I see  
Thou hast surueid the English History  
Of our S. George and bevis; and because  
These two did dam and stop the greedy maws  
Of Lions, with the fleeces of their hair  
It therefore seems in immitating care,  
Thou dost allude to them; O foolish vain:  
When thou wilt make that habit a disdain,  
Which God gave man for his chief ornament,  
Making him image of his government.  
Then change it, cut it off, for it may eath,  
Grow to such length, as may choke up thy breath.   

IAno is changed from a Christmas stage,  
Whereon he played a lover that in rage  
Did stab himself, unto a husband now,  
Pressing a palm, and making it to bow:  
T'is known, although a palm suppressed with weight,  
Laid flat vpon the ground, and nere so strait;  
Yet the more prest, the more it yields again,  
Still mounting upward; This is Zanoes pain:  
Let him weigh nere so heavy, this palm bow,  
Iearkes upward still, Zano thou must allow  
This axiom: thou wilt press the palm so long,  
Thou'lt weak thyself,& make the bow more strong.  
Art thou at leisure Zano? prithee then  
Tell how thou stolist thy wife: these gentlemen  
Would gladly hear it: and you be so scornful,  
I wish thy gadding wife may make thee hornful.  
Trust her not Zano, she may chance deceive thee  
And as she ran with thee, like she may leave thee.  
I do much fear continuance of affect,  
Grounded vpon no worth modest respect,  
But on a womans lustful appetite,  
Heat of luxurious blood affection light,  
That on nights prospect of spruce Zanoes play,  
Should make her love him so to run away  
With this transformed counterfeit. Strange age,  
When women choose their husbands on the stage:  
But time hath wrought this change, by this we prove.  
Women as men, brook no delay in love.   

kinsman to Englands King, the eleventh by name,  
After Brutes landing on this chalkie frame  
Of Albions Isle( founder of Leicester town)  
How canst thou frame thyself unto the gown,  
And flat-cap; come demonstrat now some case,  
T'wixt John an oak, and John at style, your place  
Or wit at lest cannot resolve this doubt  
Who enters next in tail, lease date being out?  
Pardon. Centurio, a mistaking sin,  
I took you for a student of Graies inn.  
But I haue changed my mind, no student now,  
A Gentleman transformd, I know not how.  
This sable suit of rash semblable cloak,  
keeps no fit method, with a rapiers stroke.  
What so soon changed and all vpon my words?  
Tis well your state such change of suits affords.  
Now maiest thou revel with Mauritius love,  
Absent and present, and yet never prove  
The subject to a Poets lacerating  
In a blank verse; since thy degenerating  
Is now conformable, strut with a steadfast ham,  
And scorn the drenching of an Epigram.   

TIme changeth yet, behold Ridentius  
The Poet that hath been so fabulous  
unto the people; sir why did y'imploy,  
Your Cambridge wits vpon so base a toy,  
As were the comedy, and Tragedy,  
Which the spectators judge most worthily  
To be your folly? but your fluent wit,  
Could not contain itself within the limit  
Of his circumference, then in verity,  
It belched out the dregs of Poetry.  
Tut fear not man, be not discouraged,  
Had but thy several plays be managed  
With skilful actors, they had been thy praise,  
Where now they're mentioned unto thy disgrace.  
Calumnious spirits who malign thy worth  
Are those that do divulge thy follies forth.  
Scandals are common now, opprobrious tongues  
Are bufied still to charge best men with wrongs.  
Come lets consult, shall we not haue a place  
'Gainst Christs nativity? tut man say not nay  
Let not thy learned nurse be silent most  
When it should gain the credit it hath lost  
Let stupid wits coop up their patched verse,  
Let time obscure their works, no tongue rehearse  
The Stanzaes of their forced invention,  
But thine late subject unto reprehension.  
Discharge from thy free cell, tut let 'em flee,  
Worse then they were, in faith they cannot be.  
There were some libels cast to scandalise  
( fetched from the dungeon of a bare devise)  
Thy works invention and thine apish action  
To rail vpon; these were the giddy fashion  
Of spirits turbulent, that thought to raise  
A cloud, to dim the sun-shine of thy praise.  
There was another schedule writ, but more,  
Much more surpassing those that went before.  
Then the'xpert soldier trained to the wars  
Doth the vnskilfull.  
I had a sight out now if my memory  
fail not my meaning, heres the mystery.  
Kisaes new fashions, Kisus called may be:  
For th●asse that writ it, is a reeling baby:  
He and the actors of this Comedy  
Do spill their Barmy wits in soppery:  
But tis no matter how the Scene doth pass,  
Th'actors are asses, and the author ass,  
After the Scene is laughed at in the hall,  
The book would serve stop mustard pots withall:  
For in this style, no method is or sense,  
Thereforet' is tedious to the Audience.   

GRaccius th'art changed indeed, and tis not strange,  
In thee to see so often wavering change.  
First private man, next a faire Ladies spouze,  
Supposed Moechus wandering cur to rouse  
The tamest Deere, next turning Caualeere  
To swagger, carp, confure, rail, domineer  
In every ordinary, and from his loud pheere  
To sequester himself oft in the year.  
Graccius how art thou changed since she is dead  
With whom unworthy thou didst couch in bed?  
mary unto the Tyrants brazen bull  
Of Agrigentine, which being crammed full  
Of human corps, did roar with such a main,  
As though it senseless felt, yet felt no pain:  
So thou full gorged with wine, begins to brall  
In scorned disdain, and fearelesly to call  
This man a leaden ass, and this a dolt,  
This a most simplo guile, this a wild colt.  
And with such calling speeches, scurrill jests,  
Thou makest music at their solemnst fests:  
But would the Gentiles be aduis'd by me,  
They should so canvas thy scurrillity,  
That thou durst never once presume to name  
An honest spirit to a public shane:  
But they are wiser, knowing when th'art full  
With cups of wine, to bellow like the Bull.   

A Great change, behold Calphurnius,  
The Poet that hath been ridiculous  
For's misbehaviour; how now man, what news?  
What stir in Ireland? do the kerne refuse  
To become subject, do the rugged slaves  
Continue( as they wont) rebellious knaves?  
prithee recite, or let thy muse relate,  
Thou bearst a register, within this pate  
Of pristine acts: they say that thou canst writ,  
Much like a Poet critike, and indite  
Most Clearkly; ist not true? Most true indeed:  
I thank m'inspiring Genius, for a need,  
Ile summon up the subject of my wit,  
And enact wonders with a rhyming fit.  
Faith mad-caps, if I do uncase my pen  
To writ the basest subiects; what will then  
ensue? I'll dim the brightness of the sky  
With pithy verses of my poetry.  
But I am mute, let other Poets rage,  
I keep my studies for a public stage:  
Yet must my wit contain itself in bounds,  
Lest( Acteon-like) it feed his own deaths hounds.  
Tis well ( Calphurnius) I see thou art wise,  
Thou'lt not divulge th'ingenious mysteries  
'mongst gulls, these iron-witted Plebeians,  
These rustike animals Stercorians.  
contain thyself, let not each servile swain  
Hug thee within his arms, and drink the gain.  
leave but thy guzling, and abandon pots,  
Thou'lt make an hundred of our Poets sots.  
Trust me Calphurnius I affect thee much,  
And if thou prou'st me, thou shalt find me touch.  
duly use company apt for thy degree:  
And all thy fault shall rest concealed for me.   

TIme Changeth still, and we are changed with time:  
And I haue changed the method of my time  
To a more general critic; who can contain  
His patientst wit, within a silent strain,  
That sees Pandulphoes pride, Attourneies gown,  
wave with the wanton wind, himself a clown,  
swaddled in self opinion, but in sense,  
( If brought to proof) an infant? get thee hence  
Pigmey-attourney, actor, Christmas plaier,  
I scorn to seat thee in my verses chair.  
But what is he of such a brazen sense,  
object opinion, duld with his offence.  
That sees and duly marks the vacillation  
Of Stadius mind, his usury transmigration?  
Fuluius lascivious habit, pride and gesture?  
Licinus perjury? Tatius pilfred vesture?  
Pharmachus feigned devotion, fond preciseness?  
Pantalias lux'ry, and admired niceness?  
Her fie, nay fie, away, what do you mean?  
think you my state, shal warrant me a quean?  
Who would not think that sees Flaminius brawling?  
Quintius revolted? and tarqvinius falling  
From true religion: but that heauens great frame,  
Should scatter thunderbolts to ding the same  
unto eternal darkness? or that the earth  
Should even haue swallowed all these at their birth:  
Who with their several crimes are so wrapped in  
By times swift change, Sin is with them no Sin.  
I hate m'aspiring muse should once descend,  
To mark the base employment, or attend  
To character th'umors of Foenor Son,  
Strutting Fraudento; whose impression,  
Is so far discrepant from medesty:  
As it is next to pride and foolery.  
I scorn to writ of every. Lawyers lad,  
Who like some of our new dubd Knights are clad  
And let with such presumption in the street,  
They'll not vail bonnet to the best they meet.  
Great change of time: O times impurity,  
When such base slaves assume gentility!  
Yet for their pride& that doth bring thē loathing  
They're Aesops apes, tricked up in costly clothing  
'mongst whom being taught to dance, mask, walk upright,  
Wherein the lookers on took great delight.  
A learned Philosopher did scatter nuts,  
Then they left dancing, fell to feed their guts:  
So these base off-springs, asses in their gestures,  
Painted like Apes, and images in their vestures,  
Do what they can, sweeten themselves with fumes.  
They're but black crows decked with the peacocks plumes.   

ANd now at last, times Metamorphosis  
Concords now with my rhymes Antiphrasis.  
A satire lately, now in mildie style,  
I meditate and muse, and musing smile,  
To think how th'readers will conceit my verse,  
Wherein Paraphrased I do rehearse  
Times objects, men in times conformity,  
changed into villainous enormity.  
Saith one, he lacks his wits, and wants his senses  
To writ of nothing, but of mens offences.  
O, saith another, he is too too plain,  
He doth not use a critic Poets vain:  
He describes men too large; the third doth say,  
Then why should we, his harsh invectives way?  
And troth, the last opinion in my sense  
deserves best praise, why should men take offence?  
To red their own intemprate 'vice portraide,  
When others to their teeth their faults upbraid:  
But every man will haue a several censure,  
To wrest my verses with a false conjecture:  
'Gainst the intention: No judicious spirits,  
I envy no man, or malign their merits.  
Such bitter stinging gull was never mixed  
With pureness of my style: nor haue I fixed  
My humble muse, vpon so high a pin,  
That it should scourge the world, publish all's sin  
This I protest,( and I will stand unto it)  
Twas no malignant fury made me do it:  
But t'was the revolutions of these times,  
And mens retrogradians made these rhymes.   
FINIS.