Questions, concerning Conie-hood, and the Nature of the coney.  
Of which, under the Moderatorship Of Honie-mouth Stengler, Conie-cacther: Merie-Pate, the knave of clubs, Being Aunswerer.  
To take degree in the same faculty Shalbe disputed: In the afternoon-howers, euenings& night-times, amongst a great Concourse of all students in the same faculty, these next eating, playing and bibbing kalends, in the Regent house of Phantastiques.  
As they were studiouslie Acted in germany.  
Smiling, who tells a profitable truth,  
In sweet Conceit, enfouldes a needful Purge,  
Rude Bobbes are bitter, Pleasure plastereth ruth,  
Which just Remorse from guilty soul might urge.  
But he, which takes no warning, fowle or fair:  
Gulled with Gobbes, I wish him black despair.  
red, understand, judge.   

To the right worshipful, S. S. Esquire.  
SIr,  
happening to find by chance, among my Law-papers, the original print of this Pamphlet, in Latin, as it was acted at Wittenberg in germany during my abode there and afterwards sent over to a friend into England. I thought good, in as much as wise men join all their pleasures with some profitable consequence, to deem it worthy your view, wherewith your Worsh at time of your leisure with your recreation may behold in the way of a iest, many earnest absurdities of mens conversations. May it please your W. to accept of it, I haue my wish.  
This 4. of june 1595. Your Worships devoted. R. R.   

A Table, or Trichotomy, by a coney of the eighth position, of the matters contained in these Questions.  
Conihood proceedeth from the 

Spirits 

In great personages.  
In men of note.  
In learned men.  
In such as in any such kindes, would be so accounted.    
Humors in 

Drunkards  
Gluttons.   according to the 4. humors 

Sanguine.  
melancholy.  
choler.  
Fleame.    
Elements, 

grave 

Counterfeit behaviours.  
hypocrisy.    
Light 

In ordinary entertainings.  
In dauncings.  
In apparel of 

colours.  
Strange, fashions.  
mixed fashions.    
In vain dalliance or Courting.         


ter is litigious, yet hanging in controversy, it shall much avail to mark in what region many of our continent are possessed with this sickness: For, Like will to like.   

VI.  
out of the foresaid definition, it may easily be conceived, that there is not only one kind of this disease, but diuers. For, some Conie-hood doth consist in the Spirites, some in the humours, and some in the elements, in the manner of a fever, as hereafter shall more largely be declared.   

VII.  
FOr, that Conie-hood, which doth consist, in the spirites, is most commonly to bee deprehended in great personages, in men of note, and in learned men, as also in such, who though they bee not such, yet they would bee so accounted. For, these Conie-men bear high and proud mindes, who in respect of themselves despise all their inferiors, they praise and proclaim their own acts, although sometime they lye shamefully: and they speak nothing but sentences or rhymes or otherwise, making verses in their own commendations they publish them in other mens names, to the end that they may bee thought the candlesticks of their country, and are men of differing tongues.   

VIII.  
As for example, when at a civil table, one man will haue all the talk, and will overrule all the company to his own conceit: who will only give directions, and boast of his own learning, although he bee a fool: who will always be disputing, singing& drinking a health,& yet is not able to perform any thing; who makes much babble of his riches, and hath ever in his mouth an hundred thousand and a thousand thousand,& yet is but a poor fellow, who boasts of the mistress, when skarsly, or not at all he can prevail with the maid, and in a word, such an one as doth profess himself seen in all faculties, and is always finding out new learnings, and new towards, and will refute all others.   

IX.  
OF the same barrel are they, which go Semitary-wise, stalking through the streets, casting up the head, dancing the measures in their gate, as though they were weighing their legs: they flow in large cloaks, they lift up their nose, as though they would hook heaven with it: and they do diligently observe where men are trouped, that going by them, they may be pointed at with the finger: who will boast himself to be a Gentleman, whereas indeed he is a very clown, and hath a follower, himself being never fitted to bee a master: and such as will wear gold rings, when as yet their calling or other quality would not admit it. For all these kindes of Conie-men( and the like) grow from the highnes of the mind, and are Conies in the highest degree.   

X.  
COnie-hood, proceeding from the humors, is that, which cannot be in men, while they be sober, but then beginneth, when the brain or belly, is become foggy with wine or Ale, as are all those, who can very well behave themselves while they be sober, but as soon as they be drunk, they then grow dead-sicke of this malladie. And these kinds are again divided according to the four humors, blood, Melanchocholy, choler, Fleame.   

XI.  
FRom blood proceeds that kind of Conie-hood, which breaks out into laughter, whereby the coney man makes- a iest of himself, and willingly gives the company occasion to laugh him to scorn, or when he is vexed and rubd in dead, and doth well perceive, that it is given him to that end yet he thinks he bobs others, and is easily persuaded to any thing.   

XII.  
THat Conie-hood which proceeds of Melancholy, is, when in feastings appointed for merriment, this kind of Conie-man sits like Mopsus or Corydon, blockish, never laughing, never speaking, but so Bearishlie, as if he would devour all the company, which he doth to this end, that the guests might mutter, how this his deep Melancholy argueth great learning in him,& an intendment, to most weighty affairs and heavenly speculations.   

XIII.  
COnie-hood proceeding from choler, is in him, which amongst mirth, having but one cross word given him, straightways fals to his weapons, and will kill and hacke piecemeal the quick and the dead through superfluity of his manhood( like a Goat)& doth this for this purpose, that the standards by may say, that he is a tall fellow of his hands, and such an one, as will not swallow a cantell of cheese.   

XIV.  
THe Flegmaticall Conie-hood, is that, which grows of too much faithful drinking, wherethrough by too often carousing he is constrained either at board, in bed, or in dancing, to speak substantially by disgorging himself, upward or downward. This humour( when he is disburdened and yet faithfully put down) ceaseth to be Conie-hood,( whereas the rest do keep the name of Conie-men, after the dead overpassed) and therefore, now is not called a coney, but anaduisde fellow, and one that speaks by distinct spaces, and fals under the example of gravity in the Elements.   

XV.  
IT remaines to speak of that Conie-hood, which is placed in the Elements. To which end understand, that there are two kinds of bodies Elementary, grave or weighty, and light: whence according to this διχοτομί, or twofold division of Conie-hood: some are said, Conie-men of gravity, or honesty, or religion: and some of levity, lightness or folly.   

XVI.  
INto this kind( thick and threefold) men of superior place fall headlong: and no marvel, seeing they are with others, of a like birth and kind. But the Conie-hood of gravity especially shows itself in mens manners, by which one may easily perceive, if the party haue studied and propounded unto himself a civil proportion& decency in his behaviours. And if he haue not done so, you may be bold to refer him to this kind of Conie-hood.   

XVII.  
AS he which is devoted to courting of women, and supposeth, when he hath spoken, that he hath spoken either Nectar, or a thunderbolt, or, who sometime, when he should be vncouered, keeps on his Bonnet, expecting to be first saluted: and when he doth wrong to another, looks through his fingers, to see if the other do as much again unto him. In general, whosoever savours of the distinct speaker, mentioned in the fourteenth position, may bee called Conie-men of gravity.   

XVIII.  
THe Conihood of levity or lightness, is the last, but of al others is the most common and general. For, hither we refer the fashions of apparel, the wagging and wringing of the body, the kissing of the hand( like jack an Apes) the leg, the leg and the half,& the two legs and three quarters, either in entertaining or dancing, either by men or women.   

XIX.  
AS for example they which haue never been out of their native country, or if they haue been a while from their mothers dug, vpon their return, gird themselves to a sword, use diverse and strange fashions of apparel, with the great belly( which we call the breeding of Conihood) a goodly Millan, or strange bonnet, deep ruffs, close breeches, like Pithagoras letter Y.( whence we call these sloppes Pithagoras hose, or the Ypsotonicall truss) pumpes and pantofles,& such other foolleries, who give every man the beck( as desirous to be reputed some body) tear the ground with courtesies, and use other innumerable settings forth and reverences.   

XX.  
OF kin unto these, be those Conie-men, which wear in part French, in part Dutch fashions, and are folded up in diuers colours, as read, yellow, green, white. Out of which number, the sad wearers of black, are ever excepted.   

XXI.  
NEither is this Conie-hood of lightness in apparel onely, but also in dancings,& other like actions, in which they caper, whip about the house, now affecting the Italian, straight the Polonian, anon the English, and then the German action, to the end, they may thrust themselves into some opinion with silly wenches. In regard whereof, we term these the venereous or loving Conie-men: and when they haue done, commonly borrow a foolish kiss,& by all means endeavours to honour his mistress with sillie poems, or constrained, or simplo melancholy glances and aspects.   

XXII.  
THe companions of this kind of Coni-hood are termed Cornelius queasy, Cyglio Pilemerandius, Fulenspegelius, Poken-gius, paul Heed thyself, Papa of the bald Mount, Claus stultus, all ignorance, Pride, lust, abominable Lusts, gluttony, scurrility, impudency, smugnes, which are in some more, in some less. And in general, all the whole troupe of Hobby-horses, who take pleasure in things light, momentary and uncertain.   

XXIII.  
THe signs of this Conie-hoode, are laughters till they chucke, loudness of voice, wanderings up and down, apish actions, sudden iumpings, rolling of the eyes, long hair after the fashion of women, the apparel, the gate: whereunto any man may add more, whosoever shal consider of behaviours according to this Arte, and examines himself in his own skin, according to that saying, All things are full of fools, or foolishness. Therefore is emptiness no where allowed in nature, whence I conclude, that the Ancients were deceived, who maintained the contrary, and he that shall manitain the contrary in any man, but especially in himself, it is at our convention to be overruled, that he only shal be the eighth wise man.    

CORONIDES, or Questions to be disputed for pleasure.  

1 Whether Conie-hood, may bee as well in women, as men? Which is affirmed.  
2 Whether any man taking himself by the nose, may apprehended withall diverse kindes of Coni-hoods, as well concerning the quantity, as the qualities? Both which are affirmed.   
FINIS,