A Short TREATISE Of the Epidemical Diseases of these TIMES. Communicated by a Loyal Pen, in a Letter to the Right Worshipful Sir G. B. Knight and Baronet. licenced and Published according to Order. Difficilie est satyram non Scribere. LONDON Printed, and are to be sold by R. Vaughan, in Black-boy Court in St, Martins le Grand. A Short TREATISE Of the Epidemical Diseases of these TIMES. SIR, LOndon hath as great a stock of jealousies and fears, as those which furnished out a war: and although the City suffers under many diseases, no one is so Epidemical, as this jealous fury, or frenetic zeal. The Reverend Bishop hath set up Lectures for a Cure, which first gave an occasion to the Disease; to try if the Monster may be killed by her own weapons;& even some of the weapons are anointed to work a cure by Sympathy; St. Pauls Church is much crowded, but it deserves an Oeodipus to resolve, whether more go out of curiosity, or devotion. Some say they could love that in a Tavern, which they abominate in a Church, and could be willing that the Devil only might be served in State. But it is to be hoped that what Hippocrates, Terpander and Timotheus reported of music in the extremity of phranticks to do Miracles; may at length be effected in the miraculous cure of these madmen. The music or curiosity which brings them to Church may in time convert them, who speak of it now openly in St. Pauls Church, as the curious Athenians did of St. Paul, What means this babbling? As yet a worse Devil then that of Saul possesseth them. That which appeased his, can only raise this, and enrage them, more then Saul ever was against David, against our princely David, because he would have God served like him, with Lute, Harp and Organ. Scurrility wanders about every part of the City, and verifies the Proverb, Qui Calvino obsequitur, calumniatorem esse oportet; he who is a Disciple to Calvin, hath took a degree in Calumny. prejudiced fancies may be persuaded into any thing, according as the old saw in metre, as the fool thinketh, so the Bell tinketh. A zealous man( of the society of the twang, who supplied the place of the Organ in the Church) averred the Organs instruments of profaneness,& set up only to instruct swearing, the great ones sounding nothing but zounds, zounds, while the lesser squeak'd out, faith and troth, faith and troth. These news can make a Sister sigh at the Abominations of the profaner age: and the Wolves in Sheeps clothing howl themselves hoarfe by bawling against what they call Antichrist. It would be well if they could instruct them in Faith and Truth, and not thus to make the wounds of our Saviour useless, made to unite all in the bond of Faith, Truth, and Charity; so proving themselves, what a Bishop hath made them Antichrist. So far hath Church music been able from having the effects, even that Tavern music hath had on the ingenuous, to be able to extasize& put into fits of devotion. The Surplice, Tippet, Hood, the ornaments of Bishops, Deans, and Prebends, are all offensive, even to many of those furred Citizens, who for the City honour, and their own, wear Gowns, Hoods, &c. And without they would make all Companies guilty of fools badges and liveries, could not easily defend their own. Thus we may guess at the madness of elapsed times, and the not more sober judgements of many in these, who could endure the Chains and Pageantry of the mayor and Aldermen, not boggle at the Judges Robes, Sergeants Quoif, nor their Mr. Sermon-makers Cap, with as many seams as a Lute hath strings; yet decry the least ornament in the Episcopal clergy. Thus these Adamites in understanding, who by the tasting forbidden fruit, have made some discoveries of their nakedness, can think the Fig-leaves of hypocrisy nearer the primitive pattern, then Aarons garments, which have Urim and Thummim perfection and light engraven on them. Every Presbyterian Pulpit calls for a through Reformation, but sure it is unattainable by the half crazed nodles of there Cock-braind Sciolists, without they can arrive to that degree of madness, as their quondam Disciples the Quakers have who like the Enthusiasis of old, have run out of their wits to entertain, what they call a Deity, and have completed their so long struggled for Reformation, by not onely renoucing all Doctrine and Disciplne in Church, but Decency and Order in State. The poor finging men in Cathedrals, give occasion to scandal. Those Surplices which should emblemmatize innocence, Nonconformists report smutched in Alehouses, will have them divide the day betwixt God and the Devil, as if they only practised by an Anthem in the Church, to afford Belial an orison in a Catch, while they take their cups more devoutly, then they sing their Psalms. Some compare them to Mourners hired in Ireland, to howl over graves, inaffected with what they are hired to instruct others, will not allow them to elevate Devotion in any, whom they would teach us believe are defective of all devotion in themselves; having no motion above Properties or Puppets, and casting their eyes like the picture of a Iack-an-Apes, moved by wire, and making a noise upon a drum in Bartholomew Fair. But the Brethren may take a more opposite and charitable resemblance from themselves, who translated what they called Antichristian in the Organ, into their more sanctified Noses; while ha, Haugh, and hummh, went in consort, till Church and State run out into discords, indevout as these singing Men formerly, with gesticulations like Puppets and Properties, howling for hire on Fast-days, and tuneing their pipes merrily on the Thanksgiving; many by talking of Religion to others, have arrived to a, degree of it in themselves, if their own professed conversion, and our charity render us not mistaken in both. The Reverena Bishops, like their Royal Master, do good and hear ill. These Empricks in divinity cannot be content to be paring the Corns in the feet of the Church; but they would be Pysicking of the Head. All the Rhapsodies of flaring and scurrilous fancies, the spurious issues of every idler brain in all ages, must be laid to these Fathers. Neither their Learning, Moderation, Piety, nor Power can prevail for them, nor their own dutys keep these accursed Sons from attempting to discover nakedness in the Fathers of the Church, though they discover nothing above their own cock-braind follies. Now to the great ingredients of a diurnal Advertisements. There is lately printed a Book, entitled Annu Mirabilis. Wonders from Air, Earth, Water, Fire, as if all the Elements conspired to punish the wickedness of such a monstrous people, who could prefer their own liberty, a good Prince, his just right, before the Tyranny of snivelling Usurpings, and perfidious Apostates, kneaded up betwixt Dirt and Blood. As if God had no greater blessings to bestow upon a Nation, then the destruction of it by Locusts, or such vermin, which are quickened only out of the putrefaction of an intemperate Climate. The Legend takes date from August the first 60. to May 61. In this excellent and unparel'd piece( give me leave to call it so,) since it may outvie a Talmud, Alcoran, all Popish Legends, and pious frauds: you may fine the prodigies of all ages renewed in ours, with stories adapted to them. Here you may meet an Apotheosies, as true as that of Romulus, Iulius Caesar: Regicines are cut in pieces, like Romulus, to be deified; must be slain, and have a star, like Iulius, attending their Limbs over Aldgate: or, as the Saints would intimate, it is such a Star guiding such Wisemen to Jesus, as can think Murder, Treason, and hypocrisy, the only way to Heaven. Five naked men are seen in the sky. The story of their fellow Saint, Father Garnets Straw, will be shamed out of fashion. He was sainted by appearance of his shape in straw, these derive their Saint-ships no lower then by appearances in the Heavens. Mark what follows. To revenge the death of the Saints: you have Hail-stones big as Walnuts, dreadful whirlwinds, Rivers dried up, While Frogs and Toads are supplied from the Air, sudden reins, terrible Tempests, and raging Tides, Armies in the Air, many Suns, as many Meteors, which must denote the fall of great Men, the death of Princes, desolations like those of Germany, the revolt and division of the people: and thus we must conceive, if, after all these wonders Pharaohs, heart be yet hardened, and will not let these Children of Israel go away with the spoil of the Egyptians, viz. Church-men and Cavaliers, he and his host must be swallowed up in a read Sea of blood. The Devil hath got a Bishop already, and appeared in his shape to a Scholar at Oxford. If he appeared there, sure it was but once, who appears so often in this lying Pamphleter. The cause must needs be disowned by God, which needs the Father of lies to support it. The Devil which appeared in the shape of a Samuel, need not in theirs, who, outside Saints, may be more to his advantage, to keep inside Devils. A Cathedral appears in the air with some glimmering kind of glory, but soon obscured by black clouds, and consumed by Fire; while a little obscure Church of Presbytery appears glorious out of her ruins, and all this Verily, verily, and In good soothe, as certain as the fire from Heaven, mentioned by their fanatic Brightman, destroyed the Antichrist at Rome, in the year 1650. or their Sedgewicks Dooms-dayes came. farewell Church; now for the State. Blazing Comets, resembling Swords, and darting Fire must be seen( by God knows only whom, and when, but as true as the rest, and the rest as Lucians true History,) impending over White-hall, farewell King: over the Parliament Houses, Adieu Parliament. Thus Heaven and Earth can keep no truce with them, who could violate the good Scottish Covenant, made for the preservation and honour of King and Parliament. The Children of Babylon require of them Songs. How can they sing in a strange Land, or a Land estranged by singing Babylonish superstition? All who correspond notwith their whimzies are incurable Babylonians, must perish by the Sword, or these great Apostles will have Fire called down from Heaven to destroy them. Next enters the old Presbyterian Prologue to War a Book entitled, A Petition for peace, with the Reformation of the liturgy. I must confess with Zanchius, Non novi istam Reformatorum Theologiam, I understand not the Divinity of these Reformers, who pray( if I may use the Fathers words against heretics) Quasi multitudo verborum praevaleat apud Deum, as if multitude of words could onely prevail with God, and by all their canting quotations of Scripture, teach us only to remember that of our Saviour, to beware of those hypocrites which make long prayers, and use vain repetitions, as if they should be heard only by their much babbling. The model resembles a country Taylors Cloak-bag; and as soon Christianity might be conveyed to the Turks in such a Cloak-bag made by the Contexture of a thousand lists, as Religion conveyed into the English by the uncouth Contexture of so many shreds of Scripture, made into a liturgy by these Arch-Botchers of Reformation. Who soberly peruses them, will think them mad above the relief of Hellebore. The Priest in Acosta may seem equally sober, who hearing a gipsy cant in Scripture Phrase, phancyed himself born anew of that Mary, who could not conceive less then by the holy Ghost to bring forth a Messiah; who, by the advantage of an unhappy memory, tortured in as many places of Scripture for the proof of his Divinity, as these writhe into a Liturgy; or D. Causabons countryman, who related the joys of Heaven till he talked himself into a Phrensey. She, who gathered up Oysters& Cockle-shels, broken Glass, and every glittering gaiety; and persuaded her self each was a present from an Emperour espoused to her, made rational discourses if compared with theirs, who by the advantage of an Ursins Cathechism, Calvins Institutions, a Wollebius, scraps of Fathers, gleaned from common place Books, or fragments of History from the prejudice byassed Centuriators, a Geneva Bible, a Concordance, a little dabbling in Keckerman for division and sub-division, fancy themselves strange rabbis in Divinity; when they are onely shallow-Puddles, which seem to show Sun, Moon, Stars, all the glories of Celestial bodies, and yet may be fathomed with a little finger. But these shallow waters will be always making the greatest noise, as they did at the late conference with the Praelatical Clergy, where they were exceeded in all things beside clamour. St, Augustine foretold the effects of such Conferences, in Quid promovebis exercitatissime Scrpturarum, &c. If the most exercised in the Scriptures defend, it shall be denied; if denied, it shall be defended. A voice may be lost, but nothing gained beside the anger of schismatics. The pious Concessions of the Learned& Reverend Fathers to gratify these Babes in Divinity, weak ones in faith, cannot satisfy the strong in passions; as the last word at the conference, they must have the first in print, by a rare new liturgy, lest the Bishop should put his foot in the pot before them who allow common Prayer, no name above pottage, though that they so call may resemble that pottage the Angel brought Daniel, while this of theirs can resemble none better, then that which made the Prophet cry out, There is death in the Pot. Hence some fear this conference may produce effects, answering those of that gigantic and dishonourable Colloquy at Hampton Court, whence we derived that Deluge of miseries, which over-run Church and State. Thence sprung that brain-sick generation, which afterwards pretended to be of Gods Privy Council; could distinguish betwixt the Elect and Reprobate, an opinion which lent a City of refuge to the Ignorant and a Sanctuary to the most impious, if they could attain to the kuack of dissimulation. Hence every Hypocritical Sniveller, insignificant in the State before, became considerable, while addle whimzies of overheated brains were brought in competition with the till then unquestioned, and at least legal profession of a Church. But( God be praised) we need not fear Sparrow-blasting, or danger from those, who, Sparrow-like, open from ear to ear, callow and unfledg'd, chirping upon every hedge, and leaving their own nests defiled. For though the disease is as Epidemical as ever, we are better provided with Antidotes. The Parliament Act is now to be put in execution, which provides that the Bag-pipers of sedition of little livings and less worths, must no more tune their Pipes in opposition to Authority, to make themselves the Darlings of the Rabble. No sanctified bellows made by the advantage of an Anti-clergie Lecturers Lungs, can blow Fire about 3. Kingdoms, since the most Reverend and most pious Prelates will provide grave and sober Divines to dispense the milk of the Word, to cure the Wild fire which kindled all our combustions in state; and by their own frequent visiting of their Sees, provide against those inundations of Irreligion, profaneness, and Hypocrisy, which might over-run the fences of the Church. Thus the Episcopal clergy shall sacrifice more to Minerva then Bacchus, the Antiepiscopal shall no more sacrifice to his belly, provide himself and family feasts out of the fasts of the Brethren, or ruins of our Church. Could this fail, we cannot believe his Majesty by being over gracious, should take away all grace from his Subjects: give them his Crown in his Prerogatives, his Sword in his Militia, or sceptre in a negative voice, and lend them occasion, if not in desire, yet in effect to be Regicides, entrust the baffled Presbyter to be cheered by his more politic younger Brother of Independency, and the Independent in dividing the spoil one to destroy the other. It is ill trusting of Goods in Thieves hands, in hopes they may fall out. If all is not granted, nothing is granted. Now, now is the time: the cup of abomination is full, and the Saints would be pouring it out upon the Earth, by a snotty plot. All Sects must again twist into an association, make a rope of sand, must do miracles. Herod and Pilate must be made friends, the Presbyter who reviled, and the Independent who crucified, that both may be against Christ. Presbyter and Independent make up the Antichrist, while they pretend to be against him, as if the only way to be for Christ, was to be against the Christ of the Lord, our anointed sovereign, and his Prophets the Holy Bishops. There are many here imprisoned; whether the statute against Gypsies lays hold on them, or they are committed for Witch-craft, is incertain. Some say they have been always canting vagrants in opinion; others that they are guilty of Rebellion, which is the sin of Witch-craft; and we may suspect theirs a sin not unlike to this, which is so incapable of repentance: else they could admit nothing so opposite to gratitude, and allegiance to his Majesty, to the late Act of Oblivion, to neighbourly love, to the discreet care of themselves, as to embroil themselves in what they are inconcern'd, and so render them Traytors to the King, Vipers to their native Country, forfeit their right, disoblige his Majesty hazard their own happiness, and instruct the world who were the contrivers and fomenters of all our ruins, by a Covenant which obliges to nothing beside Repentance. No Ceremony, no Bishop; No Bishop no King. Loyalty is the superstition, and St. Hier. Remedy against Schism, Hier. ad Evag. in Schismatis remedium factum est quod postea unus electus, &c. Nisi exors quaedam& ab omnibus eminens potestas Episcopo daretur, tot effent schismata quot sacerdotes. Episcopacy, is the Disease which troubles them, who could willingly admit as many Schisms as Priests, by denying a pre-eminence to the Bishop And since as S. Ambrose, heresies cannot arise, St. Amb. Non aliunde Haereses exortae, aut nata Schismata, quam ind●, quod sacerdotes non venerantur. but by rendering the Priesthood contemptible, except their own Linsey Wolsey upstarts e face popelli, out of the dregs of the people, like the Priests of the seditious jews in Iosephus all they cannot make so, they would render so by scandal. All who disdain the phaneies of the loser times, and walk not ungirt that they may be no longer unblessed, are entitled men of the cir-cingle. A lean Priest is resembled to a walking staff bound about with a black Ribbon; his look must prophesy a dearth of the food of life in the Land or his Quadragesimal face must foreshow a strict Lent, and call to remembrance the fasts of the Church. A fat clergy man must be one of plump Bacchus his Priests, and even the Boyes will upbraid him of improvidence for trusting so great a Tun to the mercy of one hoop, viz. A caconical belt. At the sight of a read faced Person, they cry out of the brick which must build up Babylon, declaim against Antichrist in his nose; the Roman rubric, or our Church Calendar must be seen in his holiday face: It would be well if simony allied none to Antichrist( which the imcomparable Dr. Hammond will have to be Simon Magus,& happy for this Nation, if those( who are falsely aspersed with superstition) be not found real Idolaters; so St. Paul calls covetous Persons. Here is a great noise about Pluralities and Non-residence, amongst the Non-comformists; but I fear a more just complaint among the poor Cavaliers, who have expended BLOOD and FORTUNES in the Cause of Religion, and yet amid the Glories of the clergy, by their want of Charity, can find some not onely making all Religion vain towards them, but even amongst themselves, while a Curate of no less parts, and perhaps more sufferings& loyalty truckles under, and does Hackney work in Divinity for an inconsiderable salary, to one who owes a Mandamus to bribes, or pretences, &c. Such a Dr. as King james upon the like case menaced with the shaving off of his great Beard, and sending again to School in his long Coat, who an Old man in years was but a Baby in Divinity, vy'd with his poor Curate. Thus our Gracious Prince in these HAPPIER REVOLUTIONS hath more cause then his less pious Predecessor Henry the Eight had to complain of old Mumpsimus and new Sumpfimus to a Parliament. Few resemble old Bishop Fisher, who would rather embrace poverty with a poor old wife at Rochester, then by an Exchange, gain a more plentiful dowry. Yet, our scarce to be paralleled Thorndike, by a Sanhedrim of jews, a whole Assembly of Divines, contents himself with a Prebends place: And I lately heard the pious Dr. Thriscross praise God for the attaining, what he called far above his deserts, A stipend of fifty pound per annum at the Charter-house. In the case of the clergy and Cavaltry, reduced to beggary by Loyalty, we cannot expect less then the fashions of Beggars, howling noise, sores, and sufferings; the least necessity attended on by the greatest pretences, Impudence and Ignorance, the old mass-priests for preferment seldom miss, like some rapacious and counterfeit Beggars in the dealing of the dole of state a triple share, while unserved virtue silently bewails the real want of merit in others; and perhaps her own nor less real necessity If the streams issuing from the Fountain of all Honor intended to fructify Loyalty, be perverted, to water the plants of rebellion, the fault is not in the Fountain, but in the perverter. If exhalation are raised which produce Comets and Meteor, portentous to Kingdoms, or they descend in Thunder, Storms and Lightning, which render a Land Barren, instead of those benigner showers, which make all things fertile; the fault is not in the Sun, but in the corruption of our prutred climate. Our ROYAL SUN doth good to all, Good and Bad, Friend and Enemy, shines upon Dunghills as well as Gardens. It can be no wonder, if a stench be returned for beams, as well as those Odours of virtue, which may perfume the higher Region of the Court. All things are not patent to his beams. Though the Sun is entitled to an all-seeing-eye, to gratify our fancies; we cannot believe all affairs unobscur'd to Majesty. Kings may be therefore allowed the liberty of Looking-Glasses, and even those of the Muses at the sight of which no one is affrighted, except he resembles the deformed fellow in that of Tom Randolph, at the uglines of his own shape. The aspiring Minion may be seen in A Sejanus; Conspirators in A catiline, Every man in his humour, and every man out of his humour, is Personated in Iohnsons Works; even from the perfumed Court guile to the City Widgin. The zeal of the Land, brought in for a Puppet to adorn Bartholomew Fair, may show the Whimzies of ours. Tribulation& Ananias in the alchemist these Saints, who had got a ston in their noddles, which might renew a Golden Age, and introduce the fifth Monarchy for the Rule of such Utopian Zealots. Here are great accusations against Players. The old Spirit of Histriomastix is conjured up, to be troublesome and petulant against these fellows, who( as some affirm) can represent nothing so vile, as what they really are in their own persons. If so, it would not be amiss, while plays are used as Mr. Busbie used marshal( who gelded him for his Obscenity) that Actors may be castrated, to take away the occasions of Scandal. If this Turkish mode could not preserve the chastity at the one, it might rarely advantage the voices ar the other Theatre, where some say they are kept bare; sure they must owe it to their Ingenuity, which bestows no greater badge then that of beggary on her Servants. None can deny them the most lively Representations, Else the siege of Rhodes so frequently seen before our City Gates, could not persuade some it must be as long in acting here, as before that City. Their Neighbours Lord it like those of the other House, those former Pig-wiggins of State: But with the Cat in the Fable discover themselves still in their beloved Beggars Bush, or Iovial Crew, and have the advantage only of Will and the Wits with Scenes, that they can be bold with an alchemist of Bens, who can give a reputation to the worst of metals, while the worst of his works can excel the whole Opera of others. These are the the quibbles of some Dablers in wit or slight Freshmen in Poesy. The Ladies( those she critics, who by relation of Sex pretend affinity to the Muses) will have their concerns, though their judgements, like their beauties, is but skin deep, and as many patches may be required to make up the defects of the one, as the ruins of the other: inconcern'd in the Players Girls patches( which the Zealots call Lusts Idols, the spotted Calves of egypt, set up in such Idolatrous houses to be worshipped) can be troubled to see a Lady translated into a Beggar, and that joan which used to be as good as my Lady, in the dark only, a Lady now must represent before the eyes of all people, to the disgrace of Mercenary honour, which cost their Husbands so dear to Courtiers, to gratify their idler humours. The City zeal flies high, and taking an Arise from the Pulpit, will allow theatres only Nests of profaneness, and a brand of Levity must be affixed to the Visitants. Men of the same profession are seldom friends. The pulpit& Stage are in competition. The Pulpit pleads custom, two or three apprenticeships served, the Votes of two Houses, and what is most obsetvable, Bishops and Stage plays were voted down on the same day, that the Mime and satire might be both confined thither; The Church having no grave Fathers to reprehend, and the Muses wanting a Looking Glass to represent their 'vice, made a whole Land the Stages of Rapine and Blood; The Tragedies which came from the Pulpit carrying always the most danger. They have spoke their Prologues, but we need not fear the silencing of them before they re-act their bloody Scenes. Good josias, nor Good Hezekiah ever went to see Stage plays; belched out one of the Shimeis, who will not leave railing, not throwing stones against David; but let them take heed lest the Inquisition for blood find them out, and they descend not into their Graves with peace, as the little and contemptible Person John james( as the Saints will have it, Another Zachaeus) hath climbed up a three to see Christ. And God grant none of these Ambitious Pablers, or Bable-builders, may so climb,& instead of seeing a saviour, or reaching of heaven break their necks& fall down into a Pit of Eternal destruction,& make some neither dis-ingenious, nor dis-loyal, accuse Laws made ad terrorem Populi, of harshness, while they take hold on such idiots and lunatics as may be allowed favourable constructions in the most enormous transgressions of the Law. The Presbyter in his own defence can scarce produce a Council or Father; yet against stage plays may muster up an Army to fight against this Bell and the Dragon set up in High places. But the good minded man, Histriomastix, may onely swell himself in a volume, to instruct the World, onely he is mistaken, as the rest of his brethren, whose valour onely proceeds of their Ignorance, who ( More Andabitarum pugnant) fight always blind-fold. Logomachies, Sciamachies, Homonyma's and Circulations are befiting such Champions, who have nothing beside the Chymara's of their own vertiginous noddles to combat with. St. Cyprian, Isidore, Haymo, Anselm▪ &c. might couple Players and Whores, Playhouses and Brothers, as Tacitus ranks stews and theatres. Prosper truly name them Mimical uncleanesses, Damascen and Eusebius call them Schools of Lusts. But sure we have no Heliogabulus, who will have Whores introduced, not to Personate but really do the act of sin upon the Stage. No Roman Theatre styled by Tertullian the Temple of Venus, where Whoredoms were privileged, and Adulteries not numbered among Vices. No graecian Actors to introduce swimming Whores in Cisterns, with Postures, more sinful then those of Lust-provoking Aretines Pictures. We have no Tragedies dedicated to Bacchus, not Comedies to Priapus. Drunkenness and Lust are not the only Ingredients in plays, where instead of representing the follies of others, they Acted their ownshames. If 'vice is introduced, she is attended by Punishment. Who could love a dirt besmeared Whore made black as her own guilt, or be enamoured of her naked exposure, when it is only for the Beadles Whip? Pillory'd Ears never rendered Cheating Amiable, nor a turn at Tyburn, ever made villainy counted precious. He who flies a Sermon, may be over-taken at a Play, while a delight may be translated into a Sacrifice. No Sempronius Sophus need give a Bill of divorce to his Wife, for visiting Stage plays, nor do we want the Constitutions of justinian to make it lawful. St. Cyprian need not fear Virgins made Mothers without Husbands &c. The Fathers might writ Books of Retractations; And St. Cyprian himself might cry out, as some did of him, Lactantius, Victorinus, and Hilarius, Quanto auro& argento& vest exiit ex Aegypto? While the Wine or Devils Poesy becomes the scourge of them in their Members, lashing them out of their follies, enriching Christianity with the Ornaments of egypt, which St. Austin applies to Arts and Sciences; Heathen Inventions, but taken from them, as egyptian spoils, and translated to the use of the Church. The Rich Gluttons care for his Bretheren, may not now seem fruitless, while the Grave makes her returns upon the Stage, which his Alliance in Bestiality may hear, could they neglect Moses and the Prophets. Could Cato survive, he would not only enter to go out, but sit and be delighted; where he might hear more Wisdom then he was entitled to. The greatest Philosophers might rejoice to find here their Long dreamed on Elixir, while Ben the onely true alchemist Converts all metals into Gold by the advantage of the Laboratory, of whose brain the Wisdom of Greece and Rome the Riches of all Ages became tributary to ours, and enriched the English Tongue. plays of less value then his, have furnished out a Statesman: his very scraps gleaned up by other, have made a competent stock of wit to drive a Trade in Poetry, and taught the Courtly Thing without the addition of profaner Damme's discourse enough, to make a compliment. Had he not been an Age from being understood, one Play of his, might have laughed more into Wit and Virtue, then twenty tedious Lectures,( as it was not long ago) who to the eternal dishonour of the Pulpit, took more veins in a single one, then most in twenty Sermons. Impertinent and unnecessary School Questions( which King james complained of to the Arch-Bishop) with some insignificant scraps of Greek and latin tortured in, tormented some Pulpits. Invectives against Church and State, Whimzies about Antichrist, the accomplishment of Bright mans melancholy Dreams, and such stuff as was to be studied only in Bethelem college; laid siege to others, while mouth Granado's were vented to raise Combustions in three Kingdoms. Neither were the gigantic and dis-ingenious discourses of Religion better managed( except in the incomparable Bishop Laud, the Reverend Hooker, Chillingsworth, and some few; as since in the most excellent Dr. Hammond Dr. Sanderson Thorndike, &c.) These loose and loop hol'd fancies, onely served to multiply Words, and the Itch of dispute proved only instrumental to produce( what the Ingenious Sir Henry Wooton would have inscribed on his Tomb) The Scab of the Church; and thence gave occasion to the distemperature, which so many years hath discomposed the State. It hath been the unhappy fault of some Priests, most Actors, and not a few Poets, by evil lives to have scandalised the best of Doctrines. The Troubles which poor Ben endured for his Labours to reclaim Ignorance and Atheism in Court, City, country, might have entitled him to a State Martyr, could he have been guilty of so much Hypocrisy, as might have made him capable of the name of a Saint. No man can misdoubt him, what every Poet calls himself, a Prophet, since a fatal experience hath found verified the discoveries in Iohnsons Plays have proved of greater Truth and more Consequence, then the fanatic Notes, licenced to the disparament and ruin of a Church, affixed to Evangelical Revelations. It is great pitty he should hear ill of all, who taught all, who were capable, to speak so well. This makes me enlarge of him, who, Homer like, comprehends all Poets, and though some entitle him a drunken one, no vomit could be so bad as might not be licked up— and, even at a third hand, seem excellent to those idiots, who have Ignorance and Impudence enough to despise his works. If there be any Play made up of a Cupid and a fiddle, or such as our French Comedians Act, the Machines of Diana and endymion, or Orpheus descending into Hell, according to the description of the pious and chast Ovid, in his eleventh Book of his Metamorphosis, let them fall into the hand of the Executioner, the zealous Histriomastrix. I could wish every Roscius a Cicero; Poesy will never want a Sir Philip Sidney, and Ben. johnson will be precious to Ages, while Histriomastix( like the Flatterers in Adrians time, fume punitur fumos vendens) who vents smoke is punished with it, and serves only to light Tobacco. The Use of plays is lawful, but the Abuse, like the Corruptions of best things, proves of worst Consequence. I could wish every Gentleman would learn his Calling, by a Treatise so entitled, and written by the sober and learned Pen of an excellent Prelate. He who affects music may hear it employed in a Diviner Service, and need not expend his Money for the loss of Time. If this take not, may the Elder Brother( like him in Fletcher) traverse the Stories of the Ancient Heroes, red over the Lives of the Great& Good-men, distill the sweetness from the Poets spring, and digest all into manners; and not, like his Spruce Courtier, know no use of the Moon, beside the lighting him from Taverns, plays and Brothels; or the benefit of the Sun, except to wear slashed Doublets. May no Fools be ready to Sacrifice on the Altar of Fortune in a Shop of deceit; A game House. No Knights mis-employ their Swords( as some report) in that dishonourable piece of Knight Errantry, to relieve the distressed Ladies of the Stews, nor suppose the Emblem of Chevalry is only to be made use of like a Scotch Spur, while Noble Families are swallowed up in Solomons deep Pit( so he calls a Whore) Rottenness siezing upon Bodies, Estates and Names for ever. If the printed Catalogue of Whores, Bawds, Pimps, scandalise not our City, Rome and Naples, nay, all Italy and Spain cannot outvie us for Brothels. His pious Majesty spoiled their Mart at St. Iameses, where meazled Swines flesh, and the flesh of such Asses was exposed to sale, as from an Itch might produce a neapolitan Scab, to endanger a whole Nation. Neither could such Nests of vermin be tolerated( against his Command) to fructify only for the Gallows, if negligent and corrupt Officers did not put in for half sharers with them, in the hire of Iniquity. I heard his late Majesty tell an Officer, the Old Earl of Nottingham, when he heard a Servant swear, swore two or three great Oaths, that if he did so again, he should be laid by the Heels: and how a swearing Earl entreated his Royal Father; every profaner of Gods Name might have his Tongue bored through with in hot Iron. Thus this Most Excellent Prince intimated how his Officers, instead of reforming others, instructed Sin by their Examples, and most like the Earl, who threw Squibs, Crackers, and Wildfire in his oaths, and broken wiser heads then his own at Masks, would be numbered among the Saints; yet to the dishonour of God, his Royal Master, and Himself, could gratify the Devil with such mouth Granado's, as might endanger Church and State. Our ROYAL MARTYR,( whose pious foot-steps our Gracious sovereign follows) in a Proclamation before our Army at Doncaster used these( or not unlike) words? If any one cannot leave his Drunkenness, his Swearing and proneness, we command him to depart our Army, being confident God will bless us with a fewer, if a more Religious number. Thus, could either example or precept have prevailed, the best of Princes( like him whose foot-steps he followed in the read way of the across) should not have been scandalized by our Pharisees, for conversing with Publicans and Sinners; nor could the People have been raised up by them against their King; to cry, Crucify him, Crucify him: The greatest victim which suffered in so unworthy a way since our Saviour, for the Sins of a profane, and by the Sins of an Hypocritical Generation. profaneness and Hypocrisy have been the twin Devils who have troubled Church and State; but the Devil when he appears in the shape of an Angel of Light, always carries the most danger; Thus Lucifer can draw the Stars into a Conspiracy against God himself, and what he could not arrive to in Heaven can attain to in Earth by dethroning Gods Vicegerents. But though the Diseases seem as dangerous as ever, and there may be some new, we need not be discouraged, while the Head and Body afford mutual Assistance to Master, with Gods blessing( as his Majesty hints) all difficulties. The good Physitians of the House of Commons at the first Consultation strook at the Root, enervated all the Kings and their own Enemies, while they supplied him with the Sinews of War, which may give security at home, and reputation abroad. They who adorn their Princes with Crowns and sceptres of Gold, and deny them it in their Revenue, Crown them only for Sacrifice, resemble those who put a Crown and Purple on our Saviour; cry, hail King, and intend to Crucify, and can never want means. A Court will supply a Iudas; who, having bought a place, rather then want something to sell, will sell his Master. Weak-sighted Parliaments by unseasonable prying into Sun-beams, the Princes Actions, have made themselves blind and giddy: but here are no prejudiced fancies to mispresent Objects, no Icterick or bloodshot Eyes, which apprehended nothing beside their own Colours; no one so ignorant as to ascribe twinkling to the Stars, when the defect is in his own weak sight. And though as in all Bodies, some Members are more honourable then others, and some cannot be name without scandal in any body, yet( to use his Majesties Words) the Lords Spiritual and Temporal and Commons of England met together to consult for the Peace and Safety of Church and State, by which Parliaments are restored to their Lustre and Integrity) we cannot doubt any Member may be useless by not holding a Correspondence with the Head, or not Contributing to the good of the Body, by which only he may hope for preservation. Experience verifying his Gracious Speech, Who loves not the Head, cannot love the Body politic: and whosoever doth not reverence this Parliament, can have little love for his Majesty. Here is no danger of dismembering by partial Votes; rendering useless by seditious Tumults. Reason will not be condemned for an evil councillor, or a Loyal Conscience, called a malignant Disease in the Heart, till desperation or want of opportunity to depart, or fear of certain plunder must be the only bonds to hold a little Remnant together from dissipation. No Venerable name of Parliament is made a Stale to Countenance pernicious Councils, and acts of a close Committee. No mountebank of State by printed Papers which canting terms will cheat the Vulgar of their coin, and by unseasonable Purgings, Vomitings, and Blood letting, bring the whole Body politic into an Atrophy, or Consumption; we need not fear a stranger Monster, who can survive the loss of an Head of the constitution of a Turkish Sheep, who runs all into Rump. How fortunate were our countrymen, could they be brought to understand their own Goods! And it was not a Misery entailed on Mankind, to be made happy and blind at the same time. Some say we have a Golden Age already, while Gold is the price of all Things. An ass mumbling upon Thistles thus laden, hath more rhetoric then all Cicero's Orations. Some fear the Merchants will all turn jews, since so many jews are turned Merchants, that the Old Christian Faith will scarce pass upon the Exchange. The common City goose gaggle, as if there was an Invasion of Gauls,& the numerous French here wolud destroy the Capitol. The Grandee's hear ill for their Retinues of foreigners, and the people cry out like the Ancient English Priests, Their Habitations are given to strangers. Or some are pleased to imagine them as stupid as Herodes Son, who had 24. Pages to learn him the Letters of the Alphabet. They can need no less number of French lackeys to remember them of that Gibrish. But the Ingenious books of Mr. Roger L'estrange mind us of Paganism while he by his writings so much resembles a Primitive Christian, by Apologies, Caveat's, Modest pleas, relapsed Apostates, as if like a Father of the Church, he had not only to do with Heathens, but heretics. His books have as much juice as his Adversaries want, who by the defect of it, run all into a Rind: Yet this Iuicy Author dis-relishes on some palates, who to the Sweet Gobbets they have taken in, would not admit of any sour Sauce. He is presumed to be of no thriving Constitution, as not dappled betwixt Knave and fool, the Italian Composition out of which is made up Preferment. I need not inform you when the Queen of Sweden last treated ambassadors, or the King of Poland went a Hunting, or that his Holiness hath a Sore to, or a Great Cardinal a Cough, or how the Banditi rob in Italy, or the lackeys in Paris. A Don is sick in Spain, a marquis married in France. By the next you may hear of the Recovery of the one, or the Loss of the maiden Fort by the Valour of the other, what effects this Sore to may have on Christendom, and what the Cardinal Coughs for; But I shall contract, least I may seem Probationer for the place of A States Scavenger, their jakes Reformer, a Labour which might require another Hercules. I have gone beyond my last already, and may cry out with the unfortunate Wolf in the Fable, who gained nothing beside Stripes, for his services. I am no priest? what need I sing Dirges's no Lawyer, what need I decide Controversies, no chirurgeon; What need I pretend to pluck out Thorns? yet, in the cause of God, the King, and Country as I heard that incomparable Lady, Isabel, late Countess of Northampton say) we must be content to do and suffer any thing. And in relation to my profession, I may be allowed to State a Disease( though not to intermeddle with the diseases of State) and to prescribe, should it be( as many of our Profession do) without Knowledge,( since of all Diseases, ignorance is the most Epidemical) I may hope to be forgiven, though I can pled no privilege from my calling; while I render you by a tedious perusal a true Patient. You Sir cannot be affencted with such Diseases, who supply no grosser humour to swell( what K. james called) the Kingdoms Spleen by an un-necessary tumour, occasioning Leanness to the whole Body; His Majesty needs not fear from such Subjects( what his Royal Grand-Father did) to be made King of London only; The Tittle, additional lustre to a Court, not recompensing his dearness of Provision, the making their own Honors cheap, nor the loss of affection of his Subjects in the country: while Owl and Bat were the only country House keepers, and the howling of the Poor at a Mock Beggar-Hall, the only music which attended the Nativity. You( Sir) traffic not in our Burse of Blasphemy and Ir-religion, take up no New fashioned Faith in Trust with Clothes; wear no manours on your back; have no ston in your Head; nor turn A City alchemist converting your country Dirt into Gold, to furnish your pocket for a game School; or to offer up to the she Calves of the Season; make no enclosures at Home, to fence out the Poer, and lay all in waste at London, till you fall into worse Ditches then were digged for the ruin of others: and your Person as well as Land may suffer an enclosure. But I must forbear what is impertinent in respect of your Honoured self, and dangerous in relation to others. Mad men, not only menace, but( experience verifies) often hurt their Physitians. And should a Cure be effected on any of those lunatics, who like the Mad man living at A Sea-Port, could suppose all the Riches of the harbour his own, the physician might be only recompensed with curses by restoring those senses which may give notice of a Poverty, and hinder the benefits reaped from a deluded Imagination. Yet how inacceptable soever to others, I shall not appear ingrateful to you, who am as far as Virtue, Merit, Relation, Honor, can oblige Sir, Your most affectionately devoted cousin, to serve you J. C.