WOMANS WIT: OR, The Lady in Fashion.  
A COMEDY.  
Acted at the Theatre Royal.  
BY His MAJESTY'S SERVANTS.  
Written by C. CIBBER.  
— Careat successibus opto;  
Quisquis ab Eventu, Facta notanda putat. Ovid.  
LONDON, Printed for John Sturton, at the Middle-Temple-Gate, in Fleestreet, 1697.  
PLAYS Lately published, Timoleon, or the Revolution, a Tragi-Comedy. The Roman Bride, a Tragedy. The Old bachelor, a Comedy, by Mr. Congreve. Love's a Jest, by Mr. Motte●x. Printed for J. Sturton.   

THE PREFACE.  
THIS Play not having answered the Ends of my Writing it, the Reader I presume may reasonably expect that( according to Custom) I should endeavour to demonstrate that they who disliked it are either Fools, or Poets: Now my sole dependence being the judgement of an Audience, 'twere madness in me to provoke' em. And I may with more safety, and less trouble, persuade 'em into a good opinion of their sense, than my own. 'tis dangerous to Quarrel with a whole Town, as 'tis difficult to please 'em; there is no Appealing to Apollo's Court, after an Illegal Sentence from them, their Will is Law, and 'tis but reasonable it should be so, since they pay for their Power.  
I am willing to stand to my Prayer in my Prologue, and to aclowledge it has had a Favourable Fate: I intended( but I had some considerable hindrances, which the Reader shall know presently) to have made the Town some amends in this Play for their Extraordinary Favours to my First: For I am so far from that vanity of thinking myself Considerable enough to have received any Prejudice from my Enemies, that I am ready to aclowledge 'twas want of Merit in the Play, not understanding in its Audience, that made it meet with no Kinder Reception. All I propose is to lay down some Excuses why it is not more deserving. But tho' I am ready to confess its defects, yet I would willingly be thought able to mend them. My first Hindrance was my want of time; for rather than lose a Winter( the Profits of my other being so considerable) I forced myself to invent a Fable: Now my first was Spontaneous, and consequently more easy: The one was the Kindly Product of my Fancy, this of my judgement:( I mean of that little judgement I have) That was a Cherry gathered in July; this was merely ripned by Artifice in April, 'twill hardly admit of a Dispute, which must of consequence have the more Natural and Pleasing Taste.  
Another Hindrance was my too nice observation of Regularity( which tho' I pretend not exactly to have followed, yet perhaps I am something nearer than most of our late Comedies) the Scene never breaking in any Act but the Third, and then not to an unreasonable distance, nor without a necessitous Occasion: The time I think is obviously comprehended in five Hours. But this Confinement is a great hindrance to Variety of Incidents, which provided they are natural after they are brought in, I think may very reasonably divert us, without observing that strictness. And tho' I am ready to grant that a good Play is much the better for being Regular, yet on the other side, it must be allowed a Double Art and Labour to make it both Regular and Diverting, and of the two, truly I don't see but men of the greatest sense had rather have their Fancies pleased, than their judgement; and I can't help Wishing, tho' too late, that I had given a loser rain to the former.  
Another inconvenience was, that during the time of my Writing the two first Acts, I was entertained in the New Theatre, and of course prepared my Characters to the taste of those Actors, and they having the two most experienced, I might there( without discouraging the People of this House) have expected a more Masterly Performance. In the middle of my Writing the Third Act, not liking my Station there, I return'd again to the Theatre Royal, and was then forced, as far as I could with nature, to confine the Business of my Persons to the Capacity of different people, and not to miss the Advantage of Mr. Doggett's Excellent Action; I prepared a low Character, which( tho' I dare not recommend it to the Reader) I knew from him could not fail of Diverting; I have seen him Play with more success I own, but ne're saw any Man wear a truer face of Nature; and indeed the two last Acts were much better performed than I could have proposed in that other House; the difference is only this, had it been there I had proposed some Scenes more of a Piece with the former Acts: But however, the performance of the whole was better than my Expectation from so thin, and I may add so uncertain a Company: For we are no more sure of the Honest Endeavours of some that are Honestly paid, than they are of Bread when they leave us: I was forced to writ to the Mouths of those I knew would speak as well as they could, and not think themselves above Instruction: Every one did their best, and I thank 'em: But however a Fort is in a very poor condition, that( in a time of General War) has but an handful of Raw young Fellows to maintain it.   

PROLOGUE.  
MOST Authors, when their barren Labours fail,  
Still let their secret Vanity prevail;  
And when they're damned by you, turn Wits, and rail.  
'tis not, say they, our writing well or ill,  
But as the Town's i'th' mood, of damning still;  
Sense, Humour, Wit, and Plot, tho' never so nice,  
All take the Tincture from their vain Caprice:  
Their weak Digestion, and their Sickly taste,  
Nauseates this Hour, what feasted 'em the last.  
Our generous Soul now's of another Mind,  
He thinks you are to Mercy well inclined;  
Show you a Beauty, and you'll soon be kind.  
Nor do you care from whence the Charmer springs,  
Let her soft Voice but please you while she sings.  
By blessed Experience this our Author knows,  
Tho' from the Stage his humble Muse arose.  
Your Approbation was so kindly shown,  
It swelled so high,— you swore 'twas not his own.  
But tho' it were, you still thought fit to spare  
The three, for what it might hereafter bear;  
Nor damned the Poet for the worthless Player.  
This Thought confirms him, if he fails you now,  
He must his Fate to want of Merit owe,  
And thinks the greatest Merit is in pleasing you.  
You'll pay him well, if you approve the Feast,  
And you are sure best Judges of your taste;  
If he can please—  
You'll hardly starve him by a spiteful Fast.  
H● hopes the best, but does your Judgments trust,  
O● save, or damn his Play, he'll think you Just.   

THE EPILOGUE.  Spoken by Miss across. 
YOUR Servant Gentlemen, I am come to try  
What I can do to save this Comedy:  
'twere hard should a refusal be my hap,  
When all I ask, is but a harmless clap.  
A single critic I'd not fear to mawle,  
A Look would soon make one his doom recall;  
But what am I( poor thing) among you all?  
Well! I'm engaged i'th' Cause, and must go through it;  
You are but Men, and therefore I'll pursue it.  
I've heard there are some Ladies of the Stage,  
That cock their Eyes, and dare a critics Rage:  
Now I would fain by gentle softness move you;  
Ah! Jesu!— How a clap would make me love you.  
Beaux will be kind, I see it in their Features,  
They are of such tender, melting Natures;  
Look now! Were ever seen such lovely Creatures?  
Heaven's! How their Smiles become' em! O! such Graces!  
I'll swear a Frown would spoil their pretty Faces.  
Dear Sirs be kind, and let this Play but pass,  
We'll stop at nothing to deserve the Grace,  
We'll hang our Stage all round with Looking-Glass.   

The Persons.  
MEN.  Mr. Harland. Mr. Cibber. Mr. Penkethman. Mr. Powel. Mr. Dogget. Mr. Smeaton.   
WOMEN.  Mrs. Powel. Mrs. Knight. Mrs. Rogers. Mrs. Cibber.   Mrs. Kent. Servants and Waiters.   
The Scene St. James's, and the Time of Action, Five Hours.   

Womans Wit: OR, THE Lady in Fashion.  

ACT I.  

SCENE, An Anti-Chamber.  Enter Longville, in his Night-Gown, his Valet waiting. Lon. 
LAguerre!  La. 
Sir!  Lon. 
Is my Sister stirring?  La. 
I saw her in the Garden above an hour a●● Sir, I ●elieve she is now in her Closet.  Lon. 
Leave word with her Woman I am alone, and when she comes out, desire to speak with her. ( Exit Laguerre.) I have observed of late, she has lost her gaiety, is much alone, and last Night, when I informed her of my Lord Lovemore's Constancy to the Ungrateful Leonora, she exrpess'd a soft Concern, that seemed to flow from somewhat more than common Pitty. 'twould trouble me to know she loved a Man, who every moment begs that Pitty from another, she wants from him; a Man whose Virtues are his ruin, who never doing ill himself, thinks it the highest Crime to doubt the Conduct of his Mistress. I have often striven to wake him from his Lethargy, and am still resolved while there is hopes, never to give him o'er, About this time I expect to hear from him— Who's there?  Re-enter Laguerre. La. 
Sir, my Lady will wait on You.  Lon. 
'tis well! has no one been to speak with me this Morning?  La. 
Only Mr. Pertwitt, Sir, the Author of the last new Play, he has left his Dedication, and says, he will Dine with you.  Lon. 
The Devil's in that Fellow, I find it's as Dangerous to say a Civil thing to a Dull Poet, as to an old Lady: For they are equally sure to libel your judgement, by telling the World, you like both their Face and Fancy: When he comes give him Ten Guineas, and let me hear no more of him  Enter a Footman. Foot. 
Sir, here is a Letter for you.  Lon. 
Who brought it?  Foot. 
A Servant from Madam Olivia.  Lon. 
Bid him stay. Exit Footman.  ( Reads) 
" I sha●l be in Town about Three a Clock ( if my Lady Manlove can spare you) you will know where to find Olivia.  
Kensington, Wednesday Morning.  
If my L●dy Manlove can spare me! so, if she grudges another my Company, 'tis a sign that she has a mind to it: I'll appoint her a Meeting, and laugh at her groundless Jealously: Nay, I know she wont spare her self, when she reflects how fair a Declaration she has made me. Exit,  Enter Emilia, ( sola) Emi. 
Neither Devotion, Honour, Reason, Patience, or Complaint, can stop the fever of my distempered Thoughts: despair, and Love, like double poisons, swell my Soul, yet with alternate heat and could refuse to kill, and spitefully support a wretched Being!— Was ever Maid thus cruelly pursued by an unhappy Passion! To see the Man adored still Prostrate at my Rival's Feet, while her dissembled Coyness but inflames him more!— They talk of Men's despair! their Racks, and Tortures! those are Pleasures, to the Torments of a Womans secret Love! for they have still the privilege of Speech, of soft Complaints, and dying Murmurs: But we,( hard Fate!) are even Condemned by Natures Laws, to an eternal Secrecy. For Love can never break the Prison of a Virgins-Breast, while Modesty and rigid Honour are its jailers. O Lovemore! Why wert thou Born to wrong thyself, and ruin me?  Enter Longville. Lon. 
Sister, good morrow! I have a Present for you, ( gives her a Writing)— Laguerre. give this Letter to the Servant below. Exit Laguerre  Emi. 
What's here? Pray Brother, double the Favour, and without giving me the trouble of a tedious Perusal, let me know the Contents of it.  Lon. 
'tis your Portion, Sister.  Emi. 
My Portion?  Lon. 
'tis true, my Father left you to my care, and by his Will, gave you Ten Thousand Pound, Provided, my Consent were not wanting to your Marriage: Now, I know, there must be an uneasiness, where there is the least confinement: Therefore to free you from all doubt, and that your fear of my consent may no way check your Inclinations, I here resign my interest in your Fortune; when you can find a Man, whose Merit challenges your Esteem, or whose faithful Passion claims your Pitty, be lavish in your Gratitude, and Crown his wishes with your Bed and Fortune.  Emi. 
In every thing, you show yourself the best and kindest Brother still: But yet, I hope, 'twill not displease you, if I return your Present: Marriage is a dangerous Journey; Love's a blind Guide, and those that follow him, too often loose their way, No! when I Love, it shall be with security, your Opinion shall first Encourage and Protect me.  Lon 
But Love Emilia, is a Tyrant Absolute, and never waits for saucy Council: The time may come, when you will wish your Fortune at your own disposal! D'ee believe it impossible you should ever Love?  Emi. 
Ha! I am betrayed! his Words, his Looks have quiter disarmed me! ( aside.) Why Brother do you ask so strange a Question, that I should ever Love! You know I am a Woman, not cruel in my Nature, and have a Heart, which when you advice me to dispose, I shall not rather die than part with it.  Lon. 
And are you sure, you have not? Did you never Love, Emilia?  Emi. 
That word has ruined me! Oh never let me see the Day again! ( aside.)  Lon. 
Ha! she is disordered! Then my fears are true: ( aside.) Why are you surprised? I charge you with no Guilt, Emilia.  Emi. 
O! I beg you ask no more. ( turns away)  Lon. 
Ha! No more! nay, then I must have all! Dear Emilia, think me not a Faithless Guardian, that would take a base advantage of thy Love: Look on me as I am thy careful Brother, that thinks his Life no longer useful, than in serving thee: Nay, even in thy Love I'll serve thee, and hope 'tis in my power too: Come, lay aside thy Fears, and reason calmly with me.  Emi. 
Reason with you! Why do you wish me plunged in Deeper Misery? For Reason ever sets a wild despair before me.  Lon. 
Do not indulge these Melancholy Thoughts; name me the Man, that thus disturbs thee?  Emi. 
Then indeed, you will pitty me!— I owe my weakness to your nearest Friend.  Lon. 
I think, my Lord Lov●more is my nearest!  Emi. 
Indeed, he b●st deserves that Happiness.  Lon. 
But such a Friend will never make my Sister wretched  Emi. 
Al●●! His Love, which su●e out weighs his Friendship, aims ●very hour to me 〈◇〉 another happy.  Lon. 
H●●●●ve, Emil●a, is grounded on your Rival's Virtue, and judge yourself, how wea●●s that Foundation.  Emi. 
I grant she is inconstant, loose, and dangerous, as the Sand; yet, his Eye, the false optic of his Love, presents her as a fixed unshaken Rock whereon he vows to build his Happiness.  Lon. 
But I shall shortly turn the Friendly end o'th' Tube, and draw her failings nearer to his view: Of which this very day, I have engaged to give him a clear convincing Prospect.  Emi. 
Which way; I beg you let me know; for 'twere a second Happiness not to see him wretched.  Lon. 
Thus it is— In a Dispute yesterday with my Lord, concerning Leonora, I urged his weakness home, and laid her falsehood clear before him. At length, my Friendly Arguments brought him to this Conclusion. About an hour hence by his free Consent, I am to visit her, and have leave to feign myself her Lover, and urge my Passion with all the seeming tenderness that Friendship can inspire, and if my Art can drag from her, the least acknowledgement of Love for me: Or but an ungenerous Contempt of his unwearied Constancy, he vows, his deep Resentment should for ever tear her from his Heart.  Emi. 
It has a Face, indeed; but how will my Lord be witness of her falsehood.  Lon. 
I have already bribed her Servant, who is to place him where, unseen, he shall both hear, and see it all.  Emi. 
There's Danger in the Attempt: Be wary Brother, for should her artful Eyes ensnare you too, then I were doubly wretched.  Lon. 
Nourish no such Fear, Emilia, I have a triple Guard upon my Heart, the baseness of her Soul, my own Honour, and a Sisters Peace.  Enter Laguerre. Lag. 
Sir, my Lord Lovemore!  Emi. 
farewell! I'll study to deserve your Care: I dare not stay; excuse me, lest my Guilt betray me.  Enter Lord Lovemore. 
Brother, your Servant, I'll leave you to your Business.  L. Lov. 
We have none of that Consequence, Madam, to be preferred to your Company.  Emi. 
My Lord! I beg you will excuse me: I am in hast, 'tis Chappel-time.  L. Lov. 
'twere a sacrilege unpardonable, Madam, to hinder your Devotion, a Universal Blessing to the World.  Emi. 
My Lord, your Servant. Exit Emilia.  L. Lov. 
Your Sister, Charles, is a very agreeable Woman; why don't you look out a Match for her, you are her Guardian.  Lon. 
I have her Fortune to dispose of, my Lord: But not her Inclination, when she has chosen, I am ready to pay down the money.  L. Lov. 
Her money may raise many a false pretended Passion, and young Women seldom want a little hardened Vanity to stamp it into Currant Love.  Lon. 
I hope, my Lord, in a little time to give you a very fair Proof of her judgement.  L. Lov. 
Prithee, let me understand you.  Lon. 
'tis yet an Infant secret, in a Day or two it may speak plainer; in the mean time, my Lord, how stands your Resolution towards my Design upon Leonora?  L. Lov. 
Faith, Charles, I have yet some scruples, but as they rise, my Confidence in thy Friendship still removes 'em: What time do you propose to visit her? ( Looking on his Watch)  Lon. 
Now this Morning.  L. Lov. 
You will be too late 'tis within half an hour of Twelve.  Lon. 
Time enough! We shall find her at her Toilet till two, I'll warrant you.  L. Lov. 
That's scarce time enough to set your Peruke: For I suppose you design to Comb her into Compliance. A First Rate Beaux at least? Do you consider how much time is required in the making such an Animal?  Lon. 
Half an hour does it as well as half a score, Man.  L. Lov. 
You would be of another Opinion, if you were at my Lord Tiffle-Tops Levee.  Lon. 
No, no! 'tis not that his Lordship has occasion to employ half the the Morning at his Glass: But the soft Rogue can't part with his own Dear Image under six hours Admiration: For a powdered Wig is as soon put on, as an Uncomb'd one: 'tis not a fine Coat, but Affectation that makes a Fop: and that you know is a kind of Surtout, a Man may slip it over his clothes.  L. Lov. 
Then you think a little Affectation will certainly Recommend you.  Lon. 
Take the Boxes round upon the full third Day of a favoured Poet, you'll scarce find three Beauties will allow you a Gentleman without it: I never knew your fine set up Woman of Quality, that did not spend three parts of her Life in studying the Art of Je-ne-scais-Quoyity!  Ld. Lov. 
Well, I yet hope you are mistaken in Leonora: What you call Affectation, to me has always been the Height of Breeding, a Modest Freedom, an Agreeable Gayity, and an Invincible Coldness.  Lon. 
I am sorry my Lord your Disease is so desperate, that nothing but the Exposing her can Cure you: For I own 'tis much against my Nature to Triumph o'er a Womans Weakness: But if Women are Weak, who shall Trust' em? And if I see my Friend in Danger, shall not I show the Snare prepared for him?  Ld. Lov. 
'twas thus I had excused you to myself before: But do you believe her false through Weakness, or Design?  Lon. 
O she wants no Wit, my Lord.  Ld. Lov. 
How then do you propose to win her by an affencted Passion, when my Sincerity cannot move her?  Lon. 
Your Sincerity never will my Lord: She is light by Nature, hates a Man that Preaches Virtue by Example, and shows the bareness of her Principles by the firmness of his own; She loves a Wretch that joins with her in Vanity, your Gay Unthinking Spark, by the Comparison of whose Nonsense she admires her own Wit: Beside, I have some Reason to believe she likes me.  Ld. Lov. 
What Reason?  Lon. 
By her publicly declaring an Aversion to me.  Ld. Lov. 
She will not deny it to your Face I warrant you.  Enter a Footman. Foot. 
Sir, my Lady Manlove is in a Chair below, and desires to know if you have any Company with you?  Lon. 
Though I am loathe to trust my Person with her, I would be civil to the Mother of your Mistress, my Lord: Desire her Ladyship to walk up, and tell her I am alone: It won't be amiss first to expose the Mothers Character▪ ( aside) This is the third Visit I have had from her this week, my Lord.  Lord Lov. 
How came you so intimate?  Lon. 
One day unfortunately commending the fullness of her Eye, or so, she could not rest till she had taken me aside to ask me, if my Designs were Honourable? And ever since she is eternally labouring to convince me, that she has no real Aversion to Matrimony.  Ld. Lov. 
You see what 'tis to be Complaisant, Charles.  Lon. 
If you step into that Closet my Lord, perhaps you may particular something that will surprise you; however, your time won't be lost, there lies a Milton upon the Table.  Ld. Lov. 
You'll oblige me.  Lon. 
Here she comes! away my Lord. [ Ld Lov. goes into the Closet.]  Enter Lady Man-love. Lon. 
Madam! Your most humble Servant, this is an unexpected Favour.  L Ma. 
Why a Favour Sir! D'ee think I'll ever grant a Favour to any Man. I'll swear we Women of Quality had need live locked up in a Closet, if we would avoid Scandal. Can't one pay an harmless Visit, but you must immediately conclude one designs you a Favour, I vow to Gad I came with a design to b●, a Favour o● you.  Lon. 
'tis a Favour Madam, that you will make use on me:  L. Ma. 
Use you? Really Sir, I don't understand you? What do you mean?— But come!— To let you see I dare rely upon my own Conduct,— Come Sir, I will venture to sit down by you.  Lon. 
Oh! Mad●m, you honour me. ●●ey sit.  L. Mar. 
Well! Mr. Longville, you little think what a secret Busi●●●s I have to Communicate to you! I hope we are private! Pray let us be private, and I will lay it open to you.  Lon. 
— ( to Laguerre) Wait without!— Now! M●dam!  L. Man. 
You must know Sir, that I came to advice with you about!— about a— I'll swear Mr. Longville, you look mighty well to day!  Lon. 
— That might be said more justly of your Ladyship, Madam!  L. Man. 
O Lord! I! Oh! Jesu! I am all in a flamme! such a Colour! Prithee do but feel my pulse a little!— So if I can but get into Discourse with him, I may save my Business for another Visit to Morrow. aside.  Lon. 
They are very high indeed Mad●m; but you look the better for it.  L. Man. 
Is't possible! well! Mr. Longville, I am inclined in real Charity, to encourage all your Offers, if it were only to keep you from ill Women; for I know there are some so ravenous of you, that they follow you to your Chamber in a Morning, and have the Confidence to force themselves upon you; Now Dear sweet Mr. Longville, don't encourage these confident Creatures: Let me beg it of you for your own sake.— pressing his hand.  Lon. 
So! I fi●d no Woman sees an ugly Face in her own Glass. aside.  L. Ma. 
I'll swear I could find in my Heart to visit you every Morning, merely to prevent those wicked Creatures having their ends of you.  Lon. 
That were too great a trouble! No! Madam I have an admirable way to avoid 'em: Shall I show you how I would use such a Woman? I ask your Pardon, Madam, but supposing you were such a one!  L. Man. 
Oh! foh! I hate to act an odious Part: holding his hand.  Lon. 
Why, you can't miss it, Madam, you need but sit as you do!— Now Madam, squ●eze my hand a little.  L. Man. 
O! Jesu! I could not do it for the Universe! lets it go suddenly.  Lon. 
Then I must suppose you had done it, Madam, upon which I flatly, tell her that—  L. Man. 
Pish ( Rises) Lord! What care I what you tell her: If you will let me tell you my Business, say so!  Lon. 
( Walking after her.) I say, Madam, I tell her, that my Inclinations lie elsewhere; that she flings away her time; that her Fondness is more disagreeable than her Person; that I wonder at her impudence in taking Civility for Love: That she is ugly without Exception, Coy without Coldness, in Love without Hope, Nice without Offers, Wanton without Youth, Kind without Courtship, and Craving without Conscience.  L. Man. 
Well! Well! have you done yet?— Pish!  Lon. 
That her keeping Company is Design, that her Designs are Man, that her Man is Every body; that Nobody is hers; that her Charms are quiter exhausted, and Time writes upon her Fore-head,— Pray Remember the Poor!  L. Man. 
Prithee! What a Humour's this?  Lon. 
That her Modesty is more painted than her Face, and both so much, that no Man can see e●ther of them.  L. Ma. 
Mr. Longville!  Lon. 
That her Company is worse then Sickness; and that I had as lief be visited by the Small Pox.  L. Man. 
Pish! Will you never ha' done?  Lon. 
That in short she is so detestable, that even the Pleasure of Revenge could not raise me to give her a Clap. The Devil's in't if this won't undeceive her! aside.  L. Man. 
I don't understand him! Sure, he can't mean all this to me! I find I must tell him my Business to put him out of this Humour! Prithee, Mr. Longville sit down a little, I want some of your Advice Man; Lord! you have quiter tired yourself!  Lon. 
Now, Madam, your Commands! they sit.  L Man. 
I suppose Sir you are not ignorant of my Lord Lovemores Passion for my Daughter: Now Sir he being your particular Friend, and I having a particular Inclination to serve any one that is your Friend, Mr. Longville, I have resolved to make my Daughter mary my Lord out of Hand; and have contrived a way to make her sole Heiress of my Husbands Estate.  Lon. 
This is obliging, Madam; But how can it be while you have a Son living?  L. Man. 
Ah! don't call him my Son Mr. Longville, Education can't Polish him! he is of such a slovenly Nature, he is fit for nothing but a Clergyman: Now you must know all my Family being catholics, I have a Mind to make a Priest of him, and have accordingly provided him a governor to go with him to St. Omers: Then Sir I being his Guardian, and having the Estate all in my own Hands—  Lon. 
Will take care it shall never come to his. ( aside.) But why a Priest, Madam?  L. Man. 
To prevent his Marrying Man, and then his Estate comes of Course to my Daughter, and so to my Lord, and his Heirs.— Beside, one is not sure of his getting safe to St. Omers!  Lon. 
inhuman Devil! A Priest! Death! She is going to Ship him to Barbadoes! ( aside.) Well Madam! Wherein can I be serviceable to you?  L. Ma 
You! Why you can— you can— Lord! Can you do one no Kindness d'ye think? Let me see!  Lon. 
Not the Kindness you think on; Death! How she's puzzled for a Pretence for her Visit? aside.  L. Man. 
Pish!— O Gad! I had like to have forgot! you must know my Business hither was to get you to— to— to a! O! to persuade the Boy to go.  Lon. 
So! Now she has found it. aside.  L. Man. 
Now Dear Mr. Longville, ( pressing his Hand) Let me beg of you to use all means possible to persuade him; for I know the Boy will do any thing at your bidding.  Lon. 
Well Madam, I'll use my Interest to serve you— in your kind. aside.  L. Man. 
Wil● you give me your Word, and Honour?  Lon. 
Both, to have my hand again. aside.  L. Man. 
Nay! but you must give me your hand upon't!  Lon. 
Why you have it, you have it, Madam!  L. Man. 
Pshah! but you don't give it me hearty!  Lon. 
Humh! She will have a squeeze, I find. ( aside.) There Madam, 'tis hearty.  Enter Laguerre. Lag. 
Sir, Young Mr. Rakish desires to speak with you, immediately.  Lon. 
At last I am delivered. ( aside.)— Bid him walk up.  L. Man. 
O! Jesu! Mr. Longville! I would not be seen for the Universe.  Lon. 
O! you need not, Madam, here's a back way.  L. Man. 
Well! but my Dear Charles, when shall I see you about this Business?  Lon. 
In a quarter of an hour, Madam, at your own House: I have some private Business with your Daughter: When I have dispatched it, I am at your Service. ( Pressing her to go.)  L. Man. 
Well! I have the prettiest Closet to show you Mr. Longville!— I'll swear I have no mind to leave you yet: Can't I step in there, till he is gone, a little? ( offering towards the Closet)  Lon. 
The Devil! ( aside.) Madam, upon my Honour, I will but Dress and wait upon you. Here he comes! away Madam!  L. Man 
Well! Adieu, my Dear, dear, dear Creature! Ex. L. Man.  Lon. 
Come my Lord now I'll release you.  Enter Lord Lovemore. 
Did you hear us?  Ld. Lov. 
Yes, and am amazed! Prithee! What does she mean by St. Omers, and her Son, it can't be real?  Lon. 
Too sure my Lord, I have heard of it before.  Ld. Lov. 
I am sorry she should make me her Pretence for so base an Action! How shall we prevent it?  Lon. 
That I will undertake: But first I will let you see your Mistress has a Hand in't. ( aside.) Laguerre! My clothes!  Enter Young Rakish. Lon. 
How now Jack! What's the Matter?  Y. Ra. 
O! Charles I am undone, if you don't stand by me! my Father's just at my Heels— my Lord your humble Servant.  Ld. Lov. 
Poor Jack! What hast thou done to him now Man!  Y. Ra. 
Done my Lord? Pox take him: only nothing but a piece of Justice; for the old Rogue had the Conscience last Night to offer to Cheat me of Fifty Pound, tho' he knew 'twas all I had in the World, and in return, I very fairly nicked him of Five Hundred upon the square.  Ld. Lov. 
Prithee how was it?  Y. Ra. 
Why you must know, my Lord, he would ha' put the Doctor upon me, and Communicated his Design to Ned Friendly, who immediately  told me of it; upon which( unknown to him) I flung away the Doctor, and clapped into the Box a Pair of True mathematics: Fortune was on my side, and in less then two Hours I fairly nicked him of Five Hundred Pound.  Ld. Lov. 
Well! and what would the old Gentleman have?  Y. R. 
When the Business was over, Ned laughed at him, and  told him what I had done; upon which he whipped out his Sword, and in a great Passion swore, if I did not refund the Money, he would disenherit me before to Morrow Morning.  Ld. Lov. 
What Answer did you make him?  Y. R. 
Why faith, e'vn took no notice of him: but very fairly slunk away to his Goldsmith, and to hasten his paying the Money, politicly  told him, I had just killed a Man: Egad the inhuman Son of a Whore took hold of the Opportunity, and made me pay Fifteen p●r Cent. for Expedition.  Lon. 
The rest you secured in Specie, I suppose!  Y. Ra. 
Ay! ay! here it is, all in Gold, my Boy! Prithee, Dear Charles, secure it for me; as for my Life, which I know he will pursue, I'll venture to defend that myself.  Enter a Footman to young Rakish. Foot. 
Sir, your Father's just coming up! one of the Servants ignorantly  told him you were in the House, and he immediately drew his Sword, and has searched every Room below for you.  Y. Ra. 
'ounds! the Money! the Money, Charles!  Lon 
There! into that Closet; and take the Key on the inside, till we have appeased him. Young Rakish goes into the C●o●et. Laguerre, lock up this. Gives him the Money.  Enter mayor Rakish with his Sword drawn, he searches the Room. Maj. 
Where is this Rogue! This Villain! This sharping Dog?  Lon. 
Why how now mayor! What in a Passion Man?  Lon.& Ld. Lov. 
Ha! ha! ha! What's the matter mayor? ha! ha! he!  Maj. 
No! no! nothing but Murder, nothing but Murder shall satisfy me.  L. Lov. 
What is it you look for mayor?  Maj. 
Only a herdman, my Lord, was not he here with you just now?  L. Lov. 
A herdman with us Sir!  Maj. 
One that is in the Road to the High-way; do you know Jack Rakish, my Lord!  L. Lov. 
I knew him for a very honest fellow Sir.  Maj. 
— Why I got him— That very Dog did I get.  L. Lov. 
I don't question that Sir.  Maj. 
But you would Sir, if you knew how he has served me— Nothing vexes me, but that I can't swear a Robbery against the Dog; for then a Man might have had some hopes of the forty Pound upon his Conviction.  L. Lov. 
fie! mayor, you should give him a better Allowance, that his Necessity might not force him to such Extremity!  Maj. 
Allowance! a Dog! has not Nature given him a strong Back? let him live by that; let him turn Beau, and live upon tick; let him lie with his Laundress, get in with his Semstress, help his tailor to Custom, Dine with me, Bilk his Lodging,— and now and then sharp a Play in the side Box.  L. Lov. 
This I know he is very often forced to do: But Faith. mayor, it don't answer the Character of a Gentleman.  Maj. 
A Gentleman! O●nds! don't I see fifty there every day, that have no Income but their Wits, and yet have very good clothes upon their Backs!  L. Lov. 
And carry all they have upon their Backs! Come, come, you must allow better Man.  Maj. 
Allow him! What a Pox! Don't I allow to D●ink, and Whore, and Fight, and Roar where he pleases, provided he keeps me Company— the Devil a stroke else— I co'd— I will have my share, while I live old Boy— No! no! Old Jack must come in for a bit of Wickedness by the By, or so— must take Care of old Jack!— old Jack must be taken care of— Allow him Quotha'! What a Pox! must the silly Dog needs be a bubble? Can't he take the Pleasure of Lewdness without the Folly of paying for't? odds bu'd I sometimes break half a dozen Commandments in a day, and it never costs me a Farthing.  Ld. Lov. 
Say you so, mayor? Faith I would advice you to publish your Receipt, it may Reform most of our young Fellows about Town.  Maj. 
How do you mean Reform! ha! Old politic of the World?  L. Lov. 
Why look ye! if we could once lessen the Charge of Lewdness, you long-lived niggardly Fathers would certainly take it up; and 'vice would look so nauseous in Sixty odd, that one, and twenty would grow ashamed on't.  Maj. 
But, Sir, my Son is not ash●m'd o' his 'vice, and I'd have you to know I am a— a very lewd old Fellow! But I don't pay for't, I don't pay for't, like a raw Inns of Court Beau, that is just set up for Iniquity.  L. Lov. 
Prithee, mayor, how do you Manage your Pleasures, that you say they cost you nothing?  Maj. 
I'll tell you, my Lord, I'll tell you how I spent the day before Yesterday: I got up, and dined with Sir Bartholomew Bumper, Drank my two Bottles and half with him by five a Clock— Then called in at the Play( Impudence my Ticket) picked up a Parson's Wife, gave her the Remains of an old Clap, and so pawned her at Phillip's for three pints of Spirit of Clary:— After this I called in at the Rose, found three or four young strong Dogs damnable Hungry, sent a Porter for a slice of Sir Bartholomew's Brawn, drank my two Bottles more, called for a Bill, Brawn paid old Jacks Club, old Jack reels into a Coach, Bilks him, slips to Bed, wakes in five hours with a steady Hand, and no aching Head, by the Lord Harry.  L. Love. 
Well said, mayor!  Maj. 
There's management for you! Why could not my Dog-Rogue of a Son do this? He wants a thousand Pound with a Pox to him! Odsbu'd I lose time, I must ferret the Dog— Hey! where abouts a●e you? Soho! jail bide! looks about.  Y. R. 
( Peeping.) Igad I had as good show myself, while I have a Friend or two to stand by me. He steals behind the mayor, and walks softly after him.  Lon.& L. Lov. 
Ha! ha! ha!  Maj. 
Unconscionable Rogue, a thousand Pound at one Clap! aside.  Lon. 
Why you that spend no Money mayor, methinks should have no occasion for it: But was it a full thousand Pound, say you?  Maj. 
Umh! not a full thousand Pound: Look ye I won't lie neither: But may I never more hear the Dear Glugg, Glugg of a full Flask, if it was not above eight hundred.  Y. R. 
That's a lie! Claps him on the back.  Maj. 
O Dog! Villain! Rogue! Sirrah, How dare you look me in the Face? Draw! Draw! Rascal! They hold him.  Y. Ra. 
Yes Sir! Draws, and stands on his Guard.  Maj. 
What you will Murder me in cool Blood! will you Dog!  Y. R. 
Yes Sir! I believe I shall: For I don't find myself angry yet.  Maj. 
Why Sirrah! Newgate! am not I your Father, ha!  Y. R. 
Look you Sir! if you are my Father, I draw in Obedience to your Commands; if not, upon my Enemy— stand off.  Maj. 
Now have not I one word to say to him— This Impudence melts my very Soul— There's a Look! There's a Forehead! There's Brass for you! The Rogue would make an admirable Player in the old House; odd b'ud! I have more mind to kiss him, then to be angry by half— Well! Sirrah! What have you to say for yourself?  Y. Ra. 
Nay, first old Gentleman! Lets hear what you have to say against me?  Maj. 
Have you not Bit me, my Dear Son?  Y. Ra. 
Have you not starved me my Dear Dad?  Maj. 
Have not I loved you— you yound Dog?  Y. Ra. 
Have not I return'd it, old Hock!  Maj. 
Have you return'd it— sauce!  Y. Ra. 
Yes Sir! By this generous Confidence in your Love, in taking the freedom to win your Five Hundred Pound, well knowing that so Trivial sum could not hurt me in your Favour.  Maj. 
Umh! Here's a Rogue!— Well! and so! you think I will forgive you!  Y. Ra. 
Dam me! Sir, who dares say to the contrary?  Maj. 
Ah! the Rogue has me now! That Look has quiter dissolved me; Odsb'ud I can no more ressist him, than a Patenteè can a pretty Wench, when she demands an unconscionable salary in the Play-house. Well! I must forgive you then! humh!  Y. Ra. 
I knew you would, or else I had never nicked you.  Maj. 
Why look you Sir, then even set your Heart at rest: For before these Gentlemen, I solemnly declare that— that— I do forgive you, upon Condition.  Y. Ra. 
What Condition?  Maj. 
Uumh! That I have my Money again!  Y. Ra. 
The Devil!  Lon. 
Come Gentlemen, you shall leave the Conditions to me; my Lord and I have just an hours Business together; I'll bring the Money with me to Lockets. between one and two; where we'll Dine, and set all to rights again!  Maj. 
Say no more my little Charles, I'll go before, and bespeak Dinner! But hark you, had not you as good let me take the Money along with me?  Y. Ra. 
I bar that old Gentleman! no! no! Possession is eleven Points in the Law!  Maj. 
A rare Look that!— it's a good Look!— the Dog has a good Look!  Y. Ra. 
Come, Old Jack! let's you and I take a whet of Racy Canary before they come— My Lord, your Humble Servant; by Charles.  Maj. 
Hold! hold! my little Jacky, not too fast— Cede Majoribus.  ( Pulls Young Rakish back, and goes out before him.) L. Lov. 
A Pleasant Couple these!  Lon. 
Ay, and only Pleasant, when they are Coupled.  L. Lov. 
Right! they are like the two Parts of a Drunken Song, very indiff●rent music, unless you hear 'em both together.  Lon. 
But now and then they may be endured the better to relish the Harmony of a refined Conversation. Come, my Lord, now for Leonora.  L. Lov. 
You remember the Conditions, if you fail in your Attempt, you are never to speak against he● more.  Lon. 
Agreed: if I succeed, the consequence will reward me.  L. Lov. 
You see Charles how fond I am of being still your Friend, that I dare hazard all my Happiness in Leonora, merely to satisfy your jealousy, not my own.  Lon. 
You would be Jealous too my Lord, were you less a Lover, and I more favourable; were I less your Friend: 'tis my Care of you that makes me Jealous; and the Generosity of your Love, that will not let you doubt your Leonora.  
When Beauty gives the Lover warm desire,  
Love d●ives him blind and headlong to the Fire;  
But Jealous Friendship does his Pow●r Despise;  
Awakes his Reason, and uns●als his Eyes. Exeunt.   
The End of the First Act.   

ACT. II.  

SCENE, Lady Manloves House.  Leonora at her Toilet, her Woman D●essing her. lo. 
trifle!  Tri. 
Madam!  lo. 
Let's see this Mornings Letters.  Tri. 
There are only these half Dozen Madam.  lo. 
No more! Barbarity! This 'tis to go to Hyde-Park upon a Windy Day, when a well dressed Gentleman can't stir abroad: The Beaus were ●orc't to take shelter in the Play-House I suppose: I was a Fool, I did not go thither, I might have made ten times the havoc in the side Boxes.  Tri. 
Your Ladyship's being out of Humour with the Exchange Woman, for Shaping your Ruffles so Odiously, I am afraid made you a little too reserved Madam.  lo. 
Prithee! Was there a Fop in the whole Ring, that had not a side Glass from me! Nay, even that Insensible Wretch Longville, watched the Circulation of my Chariot with an unusual Assiduity. The Humility of his Bow has given me some hopes of Revenging the Affront he put upon me last Week.  Tri. 
O Dear, Madam! I always took him for a well bread Gentleman! could he Affront your Ladyship?  lo. 
O in the grossest manner! He sate two whole Hours alone with me in my Dressing Room, and was as far from making me any offers of Love or gull antry, as if I had been his Mother.  Tri. 
Perhaps your Ladyship gave him no Encourag●ment Madam.  lo. 
quiter contrary! I languished in my Glass, laid my Neck bare, smiled on him, talked of Love, made him draw on my Gloves, tie on my Necklace; nay, take my Dormouse out of my very Bosom: But all in vain, he did it with all the coldness of a Brother, no more moved than if he had been my Husband. O he tortured me so I could not bear him!  Tri. 
I am afraid Madam, by this Uneasiness your Ladyship likes him?  lo. 
No Fool! But 'twere an uneasiness not to have him like me.  Tri. 
You know Madam, he's engaged to Olivia, and I am confident can have no good meaning any where else.  lo. 
His meaning could do me no Prejudice; let him be once my Lover, I'll soon led him into the Road of Honour.  Tri. 
I suppose Madam, your Ladyship would not have him travail as far as Marriage.  lo. 
Marriage! No, no! This Face is not to be flung away upon a Husband yet: I Love as your great Generals Fight, not for Peace, but Glory: Marriage is a m●er Cessation of Arms: When I can hold out no longer I am secure of an Honourable Retreat in my Lord Lovemore: The Reputation of his Sense, and his six Years Constancy, sufficiently satisfies the World, that I am not at a loss for a Husband.  Tri. 
Your Ladyship has a very working Brain Madam, you were Born to Conquer.  lo. 
And bread so too! I began my little Wars of Love before Th●rteen, heaved my Breasts at Twelve, and entertained my Train of Dangling Beaux with all the affencted Coldness of One and Twenty: Nay, even then had a Soul so sensible of Glory, I Fought my three Duels a Week, killed now and then my Man, and as one fell, was still designing on another.  Tri. 
For Heavens sake, Madam, Did your Ladyship use to Fight Duels,  lo. 
Stupid Creature! 'twas Leonora Fought: Her Eyes inflamed the Combat, she drew the Sword secure of Conquest; for both the Victor, and the Victim were Leonora's still.  Tri. 
Madam, my Lady Manlove.  Enter Lady Manlove. L. Ma. 
Good morrow Child, What not dressed yet?  lo. 
I am just Ready, Madam, has your Ladyship been Abroad?  L. Man. 
Ay, I have been with Father Benodic about your Brother Joh●ny. He will be here this Afternoon: And just as I had left him, whom should I meet coming out of his Lodgings but Mr. Longville.— He s●ys, he has some Private Business with you, Child: He will be here in a moment: Prithee make what hast you can with him, that I may talk with him further about your Brothers Journey.— I long to have the Dear Creature in Private again. ( Aside.)  lo. 
I'll observe you, Madam, I will soon Dispatch him.  L. Man. 
Prithee do Child, in the mean time I'll go a●d prepare your Brother. ( Exit L Man.)  lo. 
Some Private Business with me!— Nay then.— ( she Prides, and se●s her self in her Glass.) Oh Jesu! This is a frightful Head! Here trifle! Fetch me that with the Blew Knts. ( Takes off her Commode.)— D'ye hear! my Crimson Gown and Petticoat.— O! I can't contain myself! Methinks I see him at my Feet! despairing! Dying! Breathing out his last Complaint of Love!— Why don't you stir you senseless Creature! Hold! hold! Stay a little! Lay down the Head! Go you and wait below, to give me notice of his coming. And d'ye hear, sand lettuce to Dress me in the next Room, here he may surprise me.— Go! go! Make hast Lump! For my Revenge is more Impatient than another's Love. ( She runs off bare-headed, her Gown loose about her, &c.) Exit trifle at the other Door: And then—  Enter lettuce, who in hast takes up the Things, and follows Leonora; after which, Enter trifle, with Lord Lovemore, and Longville. Lon. 
Where's your Lady?  Tri. 
Hearing you were to be here, Sir, she went immediately into the next Room to change her Dress.  Lon. 
D'ye hear that, my Lord?  L. Lov. 
Is her Decency a Fault?  Lon. 
Her Design is.  L. Lov. 
Prithee no more, I am Impatient till thou hast proved thyself a Mad-man.— Come! Where's my Post?  Tri. 
Here my Lord, in this Avenue.— There's a Door upon your Right Hand, that leads you to the Back Stairs.  Lon. 
When I pull out my handkerchief, let that be your Cue to go round, and come in at this Door, as tho' you knew nothing of what had past.  L. Lov. 
I shall observe you, Sir.  Lon. 
Be sure! Whatever you hear, don't let your Resentment Discover you before your time: For should she find you overheard her, she will certainly face you down, she knew of your being there, and that she received me kindly only to Revenge your Affronting jealousy.  L. Lov. 
Humh! ( Smilling.) you are mighty Cautious— I give you my Honour to observe your Directions.  Lon. 
Follow trifle, my Lord, [ She places L. Lovemore unseen.] Here, Child, there's another Purse for thy good Service: Let your Lady know I am here.— [ Exit trifle.]— So! Now for a little Scandalous raillery upon your Top-Beauties of Quality to Recommend my judgement in her: Let me see! Which will be my best way to deliver my Passion?— Pox I need not study set Speeches: For she has so much of the Coquet in her, that you can no more fall from the Discourse of Love in her Company, than you can be Raised to Act it in her Mothers: My Design has hitherto been so Prosperous, I can hardly think Success will fail me now.— Beside the Liberty of my Friend draws the Curtain to my Sisters Hopes.— But, see! She is here!  Enter Leonora new dressed. lo. 
Lord!— Mr. Longville! What Accident has blessed us with your good Company? For unless some extraordinary Business brings you, you are no more to be seen, than a Lawyer in Term-time.  Lon. 
O! Madam! My Life's an eternal Term, Love's my Cause, and you are my Judge.  lo. 
Poor Wretch! I have him now! ( Aside.) I shall be glad to be of Counsel for you.  Lon. 
To tell you the Truth, Madam, 'twas a little of your Advice I now came for: For my Cause is coming on this very Moment: Gad take me it has cost me the Lord nows what to qualify me for the Bar of Love: I am resolved now to make my Appearance! Have you perceived no Alteration in me, Madam, these two Days?  lo. 
I'll swear, I think I have! Won't you sit, Mr. Longville.  Lon. 
Hey! who's there?  Enter a Footman to Longville. 
Bid the Coach-man go home and— let five of my Men wait me at Chaves's, you only below, I am in Private.— Hey! let 'em all stay, I'd have the World know where I pay my Devoir. ( Bows.)  lo. 
Well, I swear, Mr. Longville, nothing speaks a Gentleman more than his Equipage, the whole Ring Yesterday took notice of your Chariot. Ah! Jesu! Such a lolling easy Air! Then the Six clean Creatures that Drew it had their Mains and Tails so finely curled and powdered, that their very motion gave a new born sweetness to the evening.  Lon. 
Do you know, Madam, that the great Du●ch Beau, Minheer Van Powderback offered me a Hundred Guineas for a Brace of their Tails, to make him a Peruke.  lo. 
Let me die! But you are a second Phaeton! This Equipage and Chariot, were enough to set the whole Beau Mond on Fire! Jesu! 'tis not Ten Days ago, since you were the strangest Rough Creature, always in a Plain Coat: But two Horses to your Coach, a single Footman behind it, and scarce Powder enough in your periwig to whiten the inside of it.  Lon. 
Ha! ha! Gad take me, Madam, your ladyship has hit me.  lo. 
But Jesu! who is this Powerful Beauty, that has wrought this wondrous Alteration?  Lon. 
Your ladyship is very intimate with her: Can't you Guess her Madam?  lo. 
O Sir! 'twere hard to do that among so many Beauties, as this Town affords.  Lon. 
Beauties! ha! ha! Pray Madam, do me the Favour to name one of those things y●u call Beauties? That a Gentleman can bear the Thoughts on?  lo. 
O! Fie! Mr. Longville! there's a World of' em! What do you think of my Lady Slattern Pinchit? She is an Heiress, understands the Management of a Family to a Miracle, and I'vow has really a great deal of Wit.  Lon. 
Ha! ha! ha! my Lady Slattern Pinchit! I must confess she has Two Thousand Pound a Year to Recommend her Nauseous Houswifry, which is enough to turn ones Stomach! Pray, Madam, let me give you an account of a Visit I made her, at her Lodgings at the Bath last Summer.  lo. 
O Filthy Irish Creature, the very Apprehension of it gives me the Vapours: For Heav'ns sake no more!  Lon. 
Nay Gad, Madam, it's worth your Hearing: You must know I had a mind to surprise her: When I was got up Stairs I Bolted into her B●d-Chamber, where I found my Prudent Lady, and her Couzen, Bare-headed at Dinner— upon the Remains of a could Leg of Lamb, and Cucumbers!  lo. 
O! my Soul!  Lon. 
The sight of me driven them immediately into the Closet, from whence they cursed, and stormed at me through the Key-hole, worse than if I had caught them Naked: In the mean time I took a view of her Chamber, and found under her Chair half a Bottle of Bristol-milk, upon the seat of it lay her Garters, and a Pair of Green Worsted Stockings, and upon the Back of it hung a daubed Diaper Napkin above an Inch thick of Pomatum.  lo. 
Insuppo●table!  Lon. 
Upon her Toilet lay the Overplus of her Complexion, in the Print of three Re● Fingers upon the corner of a calico Nightrail.  lo. 
O! I shall Die!  Lon. 
Upon the Chest of Drawers lay a Pair of old Slippers, with a Dirty svit of N ght clothes, a Pound of Butter, and a Raw Phillet of Veal wrapped in the tail of her Bathing Smock.  lo. 
A●! ●queling out.  Lo●. 
I'gad, Madam, if you are no better at Pointing me out a Conquest, I shall even be forced to attack your Ladyship.  Le. 
O Jesu! I'll name all the Town first! Not but I believe I may stop at Fine Mrs. Cour●ly, she that my Lord Cou'd-n'●-brook fought about.  Lon. 
I'll commend her to see how she will take it. [ Aside.] She is very Handsome, Madam, and all the World allows her a Woman of Extraordinary Breeding!  lo. 
Do they so Sir! Nay I'll swear I can't blame you, really she is very much a Gentlewoman! so easy! so Free! so agreeable and good humoured! I vow to Gad my Lady Censure, and I were ready to fall out about her, she says she is the most affencted Piece, that ever crossed the Drawing-Room, one of her sideling Curt'sys turns her stomach.  Lon. 
Why Faith, Madam, as my Lady says, now and then she does screw her self confoundedly.  lo. 
O the most intolerable, vain fantastic Creature breathing; the deuce take me Mr. Longville, if she had ●ot the confidence to report that Sir John Lovewell was killed upon her account?  Lon. 
Ridiculous! all the World knows, Madam, he fell a Victim to your Eyes! S' Death! how loth she is to lose the Glory of a Man's murder! Aside.  L. Lov. 
( Behind.) What does he Fool with me? Is this the worst of her he can show me? Women are all censorious: But now it may be complaisance to him, that makes her so: I will have patience; for should I interrupt him, there wu'd be no end of his idle Jealousies.  Lon. 
Still wide, Madam, the Lady I mean is one whose sense, and Beauty, even envious Wit can find no fault in.  lo. 
Jesu! Mr. Longville, this is a compliment to the whole Sex to believe there can be such a Woman: I'll swear I would give the World to know her.  Lon. 
Will you hear me, Madam, if I name her? have I your word, it shall not ma●e you leave the Room.  lo. 
Prith●e, why should you think that? You don't intend to conjure with her N●me, I hope.  Lon. 
No, Madam, I only dread the magic of her Eyes!  lo. 
●esu! what makes you so Grave?  Lon. 
'twere an Insolence unpardonable, Madam, to see a Malefactor Merry at the Bar.  lo. 
What do you mean?  Lon. 
To take my Trial, Madam, for the crime of Love; Therefore I claim the Promise of your Counsel; and beg to know if it were possible for a Lover to make his Passion grateful to you, in what manner wu'd you most willingly receive it? delivered with a gay Assurance between Jest and Earnest, or with a Rough Downright Bluntness; or else with all the Passionate Submissive Vows, that Love and Truth could teach him?  lo. 
Your own Reason will resolve you. A real Passion can't be Jested with, and your Rough Lover is a Brute: No! I own 'tis Tenderness, and soft Complaint, a Dying look, Heart-breaking sighs, and Tears alone could move my nature to a Relenting Pity.  Lon. 
So! now she has instructed me! I shall go on with a good Assurance! [ Aside.] You could not sure despise a Lover so complaining. ( Sighs.)  lo. 
Nature itself abhors so Barbarous a Thought.  Lon. 
Then give me leave to kneel before you.  L. Lov. 
Ha! This is to the purpose. ( Behind.)  lo. 
The Fool's undone! ruined past Redemption! Jesu! Prithee rise!  Lon. 
Not tell you assure me, that you believe me serious.  lo. 
Well!— a— Rise! I dare do that, while you are sitting. ( They sit.)  L. Lov. 
Confusion! she rejects him not. ( Behind.)  lo. 
I'll vow you surprise me, Mr. Longville! I never dreamt of love from you!  Lon. 
My Lord Lovemore, Madam, being long my Friend before he was my Rival, obliged me to conceal my Passion from the world, and you: Nay so sacred was my Friendship, that even opportunity, which Madam, our Intimacy has often given me, could not hitherto betray me to a guilty Glance.— But now the violence of my love forces me to confess my Soul, to sacrifice that Friend, and curse him by the name of Rival: Therefore in spite of Bonds, ( Kneeling.) to you I offer up my heart, and should his Interposing Vows but rob me of a smile of yours, his life's the Sacrifice I'll make to your Mistaken Charity.  lo. 
fie! Mr. Longville, this to me! Lord! what do you mean?  Lon. 
What the Devil shall I say now? ( Aside)  L. Lov. 
So tame at the Discovery! ( Behind.)  Lon. 
In Pity, Madam, think me real, and if you have already blessed him with the Rich Treasure of your conquered Heart, be at least so generously cruel to confirm the truth of it to a miserable despairing Wretch, and from this moment my Passion shall be dumb, and trouble you no more.  L. Lov. 
Ha! I am tortured with my Fears. ( Behind.)  lo. 
( aside.) Well is there any Rapture like the glory of a Prostrate Lover? Now to raise his Giddy Hopes, while like his shadow I still fly before him, seem always near, yet never to be o'er taken.— Pray rise!  Lon. 
Never while my Rival stands before me in your Favour.  lo. 
Jesu! sure you are not in Earnest.  Lon. 
Your coldness, Madam, tells me indeed you would not have me so.— Nay then my Rival has your Heart, and you in Generous Pity to my Love, would fain conceal it— ( Rises.)— No Madam, there's no● but this to choose, that since I can't be yours to be no more.— Madam! Farewell. ( Unbuttens himself.) May you be happy in my Rival's Love.— His life I would not, dare not touch because 'tis dear to you— But th●● I sacrifice my own. ( Offering to Draw.)  lo. 
Ah! for Heavens sake what do you mean? ( Holds Him.)  Lon. 
To trouble you no more. ( struggling.)  lo. 
Lord! I hope you won't offer any mischief! hear me but speak!  Lon. 
You have said too much already: Pray let me die in quiet. S'Death will she hinder me, or no? ( Aside.)  lo. 
O dear Mr. Longville don't talk of dying! Jesu! if he should kill himself here he wou d all spoil my Floor: Beside I shall loose the Pleasure of fooling him. [ aside]— Pray give me your Sword!  Lon. 
Madam, Despair, and life are Insupportable.  lo. 
Hold! O hold!— You have touched my soul so tenderly, that with a thousand Burning Blushes I must entreat you live, if Hope can save you: O! never let the fear of any Rival shock your Hopes, and least my Lord Lovemore, his Person, and his Grave Behaviour were ever my Aversion, had not my Mothers Commands forbade me I had long ago informed him so.  Lon. 
surprising Comfort.  L. Lov. 
Pernicious Jilt. ( Behind.)  Lon. 
'twas reported, Madam,' twu'd have suddenly been a Match between you.  lo. 
What he may report I know not: But when I mary him, assure yourself it shall be when I despair of any one else.— A dull constant Ass born to hear the burden of a slighted love. A lump of Lime only to be fired with could Water.— Think no more of him, had I not vowed a single life, your Merit above the world wu'd charm me into Marriage. But since that Blessing is denied me, let me at least live happy in your Friendship.  L. Lov. 
By heaven her very words to me. [ Behind.]  Lon. 
Now! I have enough! ( Drops his handkerchief.) Friendships too could a climb, our Mutual Happiness can never flourish there: No! Madam, 'tis only loves warm Soil that ripens all the Blooming joys of life, and makes that life, but one Eternal Harvest.  L. Lov. 
So close! I want Patience.  Lord Lovemore comes forward. 
Madam, your Humble Servant!  lo. 
Ah—! ( Shricking.) I'll swear my Lord you frighted me.  Lon. 
I don't like his coming in that way.  L. Lov. 
I thought, Madam, Mr. Longville of all Mankind had been your Aversion, and that nothing but his being my friend could make you endure the sight of him, I hope you think better of him now, Madam.  lo. 
What Devil brought him to surprise us in the only Guilty Minute. Nay I must confess my Lord, I did not think him so unpleasing, while he was your Advocate.  L. Lov. 
O! then he was Kneeling for me all this while!  lo. 
Umh!— a— ay! my Lord! ( faltering.) Jesu! you don't think it was upon his own account! This was a lucky Turn.  Lon. 
How she fastens her self in the Noose. ( Aside.)  L. Lov. 
Methinks, Madam, he over-did his Part! To Press his Arguments in melting Kisses upon your Snowy hand, those were too warm for Friendship.  lo. 
O' my soul he's jealous, Mr. Longville! ha! ha!  L. Lov. 
I ne're was jealous: I found you false before you gave me leave to doubt you.  lo. 
You are serious, my Lord! ( Affecting a surprise.)  L. Lov. 
Had you been ever so with me, I had not found myself your Fool so late: should I talk with you I should still appear your Fool: For no one sure can part eternally( as I must now) with the hopes of his desired Happiness, without a Painful Thought; and I am loth to expose my weakness: I shall not aggravate your Wrongs to me: But leave your Conscience to condemn you:— Farewell for ever; and since my Truth, and Honour, are so ill rewarded, may henceforth none but Fools, and Villains Kneel before you. Going.  lo. 
Stay, my Lord!— I must not lose him so: For I know the Town will never tell his story to my advantage. ( Aside.)  L. Lov. 
My Love shall never call me back, good manners may. ( Aside.)— Your Commands, Madam.  lo. 
My Lord, you may be in an Error, and I hope have more Generosity than to condemn me unheard, therefore—  Lon. 
Hold, Madam! I find your drift, and faith 'twere too Barbarous, should I betray you to a farther guilt by suffering you to excuse what you have already shown. No! Madam, my ends are answered, and now 'tis time the Jest should go no farther.  lo. 
What do you mean?  Lon. 
To throw aside the mask of love, and show a Bare-faced Friendship, and to tell you, that I never loved you, ne're admired you, nay always had an ill opinion of you: that I was jealous of your affencted coldness to my Friend, and therefore feigned myself his Rival; that you with Artificial Blushes have approved my Passion, and seemingly( for I ne're thought you real yet to any one) placed me nearest to your heart: where heaven knows I never wished myself, I only searched it for a Friend, and faith, Madam, had I found him there, I had retired with joy, I ask your Pardon for my Intrusion into your Favour, Madam.  lo. 
Confusion! tricked! betrayed! caught in the very snare that I had laid for him! Now the Malicious Town will Triumph!  Lon. 
May my Lord go, Madam!  lo. 
My Lord, this usage ill becomes your Honour, or my Quality; as for the insolence of your Friend, I cu'd expect no better from a Rejected Lover.  L. Lov. 
I saw no great signs of his Despair, Madam: But to satisfy you better, I have over-heard every word you have said this half hour.  lo. 
Then I am betrayed indeed! That Devil Longville has rescued him from ruin: confounded 'em both, I shall never dare to show my Face again!  walks disordered Lon. 
Really, Madam, I can't blame the judgement of your Belle-Passion: For Gallantry, Equipage, and Grandieur, are prev●iling Orators.— Hey! let my Men wait all without, I'd have the World know where I pay my Devoir.  lo. 
Fellow! scornfully.  Lon. 
Madam!  lo. 
Sir I have nothing to say to you! Pray be gone.  Lon. 
Why in such a Passion, Madam!  lo. 
Lightning blast thee.  Lon. 
Take not a Womans Anger ill! Turns short, and sings.  lo. 
Curse of my Treacherous Folly, that urged me to believe his Passion Real— O that it were! Ha! Can't it be made to seem so?— A sudden thought revives me!  L. Lov. 
Well! Madam, I ask your Pardon for consenting to the Extravagance of my Friends Attempt: But if you have a Thought that can condemn me for't, now freely give it Breath: For after this you'll never see me more.  lo. 
My Lord you know this Apology is needless: I only desire to speak a word with Mr. Longville before he goes. smiling.  Lon. 
Me! Madam! with all my heart. they go together.  lo. 
( To her self.) Now Assist me all the subtlety of Woman!— If there's a spark of Love remaining in that Bosom,( pointing to Lrd. Lovemore.) lend me a Smile to light it into jealousy! What tho' his flamme be out, I have seen a dying Taper kindled with its own smoke!— O! to make him burn again, and work a brave Revenge upon this Wretch, this poor Extinguisher!  Lon. 
Madam! I have not heard you say very much all this while!  lo. 
Come a little this way! shee seems familiar with him.  Lon. 
What the Devil has she got in her Head now!  L. Lov. 
Ha! I don't like that whispering! S'Death she smiles on him!  lo. 
( Aloud) Never fear that! if he offers to draw, my Servants will part you before there can be any Mischief.  Lon. 
S'Death! I don't understand you; hark you, Madam!  lo. 
I know my Dear, what you mean; I will tell him all myself.  Lon. 
'ounds! my Dear!  lo. 
Prithee! Ridiculous!— Why should we conceal it longer! Both he, and the World must know it in a little time.  Lon. 
S'Death! She racks me!  L. Lov. 
And me! aside.  lo. 
Come! I am weary of my odious part: Beside, my Lord has no Reason to take it ill of you, since, as you own, he only wanted a Pretence to leave me for another.  L. Lov. 
Unheard of Treachery! aside.  Lon. 
I find Madam, you are designing me a Kindness, and Faith 'twere pity to balk this fit of your good Nature. Pray go on, Madam, Methinks I would fain have my Lord satisfied— What a Jilt you are. aside.  lo. 
Nay, I am resolved he shall know all— In short, my Lord, what you over heard there, was his particular Request to me to give you a Pretence for leaving me, and at the same time to conceal his real Passion, by feigning a feigned one to me; and since I find, my Lord, that you have been long engaged elsewhere, I tell you this to let you see I have been before hand with you.  L. Lev. 
Confusion! he has been my secret Rival! Sure Hell n●'er formed so close an Artifice! aside.  Lon. 
Ah! Dear Madam, I am obliged to you: But faith this won't do: Your humble Servant— Come my Lord!  L. Lov. 
No Sir! don't think it shall: Tho' I have been this Ladies Ass, I will be yours no longer: I don't wonder now you thought her false to me!  Lon. 
My Lord! amazed.  lo. 
fie! Mr. Longville, no more of this! The Farce is over now, and I can't bear any thing from you, that looks so like indifference.  Lon. 
confounded your Kindness!  lo. 
Nay I vow I ask your Pardon! And since I find you are so unwilling to Reveal it, 'tis not gon so far, but we may blind him still: 'tis but your seeming to use me ill again: Now begin to rail at me!  Lon. 
Stupendious Impudence!  L. Lov. 
Insinuating Slave! aside.  lo. 
So! so! very well I'll swear! ha! ha! ha!  Lon. 
Fury! Monster!  lo. 
Better yet! O! I shall die!  Lon. 
Harpy! Fiend! Devil!  lo. 
Admirably well acted, I'll swear— so now take up a little.  Lon. 
I shall observe you, Madam!  L. Lov. 
So soon Instructed Sir! aside.  Lon. 
I find there is no Remedy but Patience! the more I strive, the faster I am entangled— my Lord I must confess I cannot wonder at your Amazement. But as a Token of my Innocence— offering his Sword to Ld. Lovemore.  lo. 
Be sure you keep your Countenance. aloud in his Ear.  L. Lov. 
S' Death! am I become your sport!  Lon. 
Exquisite Devil! astonished.  L. Lov. 
No Sir, keep your Sword! You may have occasion for it— Farewell— Exit Ld. Lovemore, hastily,  Lon. 
Confusion! he is undone! I've ruined both myself, and him! Something must be thought on speedily.  Leonora looks gravely on Longville, and on a sudden burst into a loud Laughter. lo. 
Ha! ha! ha! he!  Lon. 
Very well! Your Tune may be changed, Madam, my Wits won't be idle.  lo. 
Wit! from thee! I shall as soon dread it from a Country person: Go Sir, to your Friend, he'll thank you for the Pains you've taken, and certainly admire your Wit! ha! ha! ha!  Lon. 
Damn her she has unmanned me, almost worked me to the Thoughts of a Revenge. muses.  lo 
Ha! I see my Mother coming! I'll set her upon him to heighten my Triumph.  Enter Lady Manlove. L. Man. 
Well Child, have you done with Mr. Longville yet?  lo. 
O Madam the saddest Accident! Poor Mr. Longvi le's Distracted! Look how he Chaffes and Frowns! His Fit's upon him now! He abuses every one he speaks to, has almost frighted me out of my Wits.  L. Man. 
I'll swear I thought his Behaviour this Morning was a little strange; good lack! Can't you guess at the Occasion Child.  lo. 
I don't know what to think, Madam, but my Lord Lovemore tells me you are the occasion, he says he has never been right since your ladyship protested against a second Marriage.— Dear Madam; won't you speak to him?  L. Man. 
Lord! that ever my rashness should be the occasion of such a Misfortune! How wild he looks!  Lon. 
( To Himself.) To what a plunge am I reduced? I am not only in danger of forfeiting his Friendship: But of his loosiing himself again to her: My Life! my Friend! my Honour, all's in danger: For should he challenge me, my Innocence will not let me answer him! If I refuse, the World may think it fear. should I fight, and Fortune put his life into my Power, even the Gift of that were not enough to clear my Honour; for in his heart he'll think me still a Villain.  L. Man. 
Well! I can hold no longer; the poor man raves. ( Weeps.)  lo. 
It works as I cu'd wish. ( Aside.)  Lon. 
S' Death! the very thought on't makes me mad!  L. Man. 
If you love my life, Mr. Longville, let me know that thought, or I shall run m●d too? ( Takes hold on him.)  Lon. 
Confusion! am I fallen into her Clutches!  L. Man. 
D●a● Mr. Longville don't be thus frighted: For I had rather break a Thousand Vows, than see you in this condition: All the World shan't persuade me: For I am now resolved to mary you.  Lon. 
Hark you, Madam, who puts you upon this?  L. Man. 
Lord! wh— wh— why do you stare so? [ Trembling.]  Lon. 
To hear a Woman of your years talk thus: Pray, Madam, how old are you?  L. Man. 
Why do you talk so wildly?  Lon. 
I say, Madam, how old are you?  L. Man. 
Nay dear Sir, don't let my Age discourage you: For I hope still to be the Mother of many a dear child, provided I deserve for 'em by your Reasonable Endeavours.  Lon. 
Let me tell you, Madam, you are now big with a false Conception, and will certainly miscarry of it. ( Going.)  L. Man. 
O I can't part with you, while you have a thought that wrongs my Honour. ( Holds Him.)  Lon. 
That's impossible! thy Face protects it: Age and Ugliness lie entrenched in thy hollow Cheeks, and bid defiance to all scandal: yet thou art every day displaying thy Colours of White and read, to make the World believe thou art in action still.— Come! come! Madam, you had as good give over beating up for volunteers: For the Devil a Man will you raise to starve in those Winter Quarters. Exit.  lo. 
Ha! Gone! I am afraid, Madam, this Madness is affencted: I really believe, because I refused his Addresses, he was resolved to be revenged by affronting your ladyship and me.  L. Man. 
How! His Addresses! Nay then I'll be revenged! Olivia shall revenge me: For I will go, and tell her of it immediately.  lo. 
O! Madam, I have such a story of him for your ladyships Ear.  L. Man. 
Prithee! let's in, and have it at Dinner. Exit Lady Manlove.  lo. 
What a malicious Devil is this Longville? To rob me in one minute of the Pride of all my Conquests. Why let him go! I have still the Glory of a Brave Revenge to Boast! Perhaps his life may pay for't: If all the Devils in our Sex can ruin him, it shall! An unform'd Mischief lies rolling in my thoughts, and tells me I shall Triumph! That Men should ever match their Wit with ours! What but a Woman cu'd thus fooled his treacherous Friend, and a Resenting Lover? Lovers or not, we still defy Their Boasted sense! But when they love, what Slaves, what Wretches do we make' em? How easy 'tis to look 'em into ruin?  
If they wrong us, we seek a Brave Revenge,  
When we are frail, we make the injured Cringe,  
Our Eyes prevail, when sullen Reason's deaf,  
Our Tears persuade 'em,— and the Fools believe;  
While false, we Lordlike reign, and only find,  
'tis being true, that ruins Woman-kind. Exit.   
The End of the Second ACT.   

ACT III.  

The Scene a Dining-Room in Longville's House.  Enter Olivia, and Emilia. Emil. 
PRithee, my Dear think better of him.  Oliv. 
I never shall! he won't give me leave to do it— If he valued me, or took any Pleasure in my Commands, he wu'd take less in my Lady Manlove's Company, he lives there I think.  Emi. 
Bless me, can you be jealous of him with a stale Widow, he is no younger Brother, my Dear!  oily. 
He is a Man, consequently a thing that's vain, and loves to be admired.  Emi. 
There are such Out-cast Fops indeed, who rather, than not be liked at all will take up with the Common Favours of an old Lady. But I can't think my Brother so necessitous a Lover, having already merited the good opinion of my Dear Olivia; nay I must believe he merits it, or you would not so often have confessed it.  oily. 
I am not ashamed to own myself in an Error.  Emi. 
Your greatest Error is your Doubting him: Come! you shall think better of him, 'twill oblige your Friend: I am in Pain while you are thus severe to him: Have I no Power? Dear Olivia.  oily. 
Kind Emilia! I cannot think thou wouldst use that Power, did not thy Brother's Innocence persuade thee: O! I could devour thee for thy Generous Faith to him. [ Kisses her.] And if I love him well 'tis for his tender care of thee.  Emi. 
He loves me best, in loving you so faithfully: Indeed he loves you. I am sure he does: For he has taught me hitherto, to avoid most Womens Friendship: But when I mentioned you! O! How he pressed me to my applauded Choice, and charmed me with your virtues.  oily. 
This from a Friend assures me to be happy: But is he not to bl●me my Dear?  Emi. 
Take it on my word not now: 'tis a Business of Concern, that keeps him there, I want time to tell you what: Have but a little Patience and his return will satisfy you: Prithee be Good humoured, he won't be long I am sure! Here's the Harpsicord to Divert us in the mean time. Come! I will have a Lesson.  oily. 
Prithee, I can't Play. [ Uneasie.]  Emi. 
Nay, I won't Court you, but make you! There! There! Gentlewoman. [ Pulls her to the Harpsicord]  oily. 
Lord! I am n't in Humour now.— Prithee! Can't you sand to my Lady Manlove's.  Emi. 
Humh! I find she sticks in your Stomach still.— Who's there?  Enter a Servant. 
Step to my Lady Manlove's in the Pellmell, and tell my Brother here is a Lady stays for him,— make hast. Exit Servant.  [ Olivia smiles on Emilia, and begins to Play.] Emi. 
O! have I put you in Tune, Madam.  [ The Tune ended Emilia says.] Emi. 
Nay, nay, you shan't give over so! I will have a Song too.  oily. 
Nay if I sing—  Emi. 
If you don't, I shall be very angry, Madam.  

[ Olivia Sings.]  

Tell me, Belinda, Prithee do,  
( The Wanton Caelia said.)  
Since you'll allow no Lover true,  
( Inform a tender Maid.)  
Are not we Women Fools than to be so?  
Belinda smiling thus the Sex betrayed.   

Men have their Arts, and we have Eyes,  
We both believe, and both tell lies;  
Tho' they a Thousand Hearts pursue,  
We love to wound as many too.  
Yet still with Virtue! virtue! keep a Pother,  
We look! we love!  
We like! we leave!  
We both deceive!  
And thus are Fools to one another.    oily. 
What is not this Fellow come back yet? Well! I am out of Patience.  Emi. 
Prithee what time did you appoint my Brother, that you are so uneasy?  oily. 
I sent him word to meet me at my Father's at three this Afternoon, where I find he has neither been, or left any word for me.  Emi. 
Why what a Clock do you take it to be now?  oily. 
Past the Hour I am sure: 'twas after two before I came from Kensington.  Emi. 
To see how slowly hours move with Absent Lovers: Now my Watch wants above ten Minutes of Two.  Oliv. 
I don't know, I am sure it's past Three by my Inclination.  Emi. 
Prithee set it back a little: But see here is the Messenger: Now I suppose, you may let it go as it will.  Re-enter the Servant. 
Did you see my Brother?  serve. 
No, Madam, he has not been there this Half-hour.  oily. 
And don't they know whither he went.  serve. 
No, Madam: But my Lady Manlove desires to speak with your ladyship, and bid me tell you, that perhaps she can satisfy you; if your ladyship stays here long she will wait upon you.  oily. 
No! no! I'll go to her, she will be an Hour a setting her self out: Come my Dear will you go along with me: Well, I am sure I shall hear no good of him.  Emi. 
Perhaps not, if my Lady Manlove has any thing to say of him. But however I will bear you Company: How did you come, my Dear?  oily. 
O prithee make hast, my Coach will carry us. Exeunt.   

The Scene Changes to Locket's in the Street.  Enter Lord Lovemore in a Chair. L. Lov. to the Chairman. 
HOld!— ( To his Servant.) step into Locket's, and inquire if Mr. Longville be there.— Don't say I would speak with him.  Exit Servant and Returns. serve. 
He is not there, my Lord, but they expect him every Minute.  L. Lov. 
Set me down.— There. Gives them Money.  Chair. 
God bless your Honour. Exit Chairmen.  ( Lord Lovemore goes to the Door.) L. Lov. 
If he comes this way I am sure of him.— But I am not sure of my Revenge in so public a Place.— Let me see how shall I manage him. ( Muses.)  mayor Rakish appears in the Bellcony smoking. Ma. 
A Hey! Dog! Son of a Whore! some more Wine here, Quick.  ( One speaks within Ringing a Bell.) Within. 
Here Tom! Dick! speak there!— Coming Sir.  Ma. 
Who's that, my Lord Lovemore! Od's-heart we have stayed this Hour for you! Where's Charles, Man? where's Charles?  L. Lov. 
He won't be long, I wait for him: We'll be with with you presently.  Ma. 
Prithee make hast, Odsbud the Rarest Haunch of Venison, and Colliflowers— A Hey! Dinner there. ( Exit mayor.)  L. Lov. 
I have thought on't! there I shall be sure of him. Hey! Waiter!  Enter a Waiter. L. Lov. 
Have you e're a Back-Room empty?  Wait. 
Yes, my Lord, you may have the Lion.  L. Lov. 
When Mr. Longville comes: Be sure you show us there.— ( Exit Waiter.)  
How Basely has this Man betrayed me, had he like a Generous Friend to me confessed himself my Rival, I then had only grieved to have found him so, and thought that Leonora's Charms were irresistible: But like a traitor thus to throw a foul Aspersion on my Love, secretly to insinuate that I am false to her! O 'tis the Basest lowest act of grovelling Treachery! Had he ten thousand lives I would serve 'em all to my Revenge. Ha! he is here, I'll take him while my Resentment's warm.  Longville Alights from another Chair. Lon. 
I am glad to find you here, my Lord, I would fain speak with you.  L. Lov. 
Come, let's walk up; we are stayed for.  
( Within.) Welcome Sir! Please to walk this way Gentlemen.   

The Scene changes to a Back-Room in the House. A Waiter shows in Lord Lovemore, and Longville, and Exit.  Lord Lovemore claps too the Door, and locks it. Lon. 
HA! so sudden! Nay then 'twas well that I prepared myself.  L. Lov. 
You guess my meaning Sir?  Lon. 
I apprehended your Error, and it grieves me.  L. Lov. 
Dost thou not blushy?  Lon. 
For what? because a Woman has outwitted me? If so my Lord, yourself should change your Colour.  L. Lov. 
I find thou art grown an hardened Villain.  Lon. 
When your amazing Jealousy's my Judge, the worst of Villains. My Reason is in Health, and construes nothing ill from a distempered Friend.  L. Lov. 
Have I not Reason to be sick of thee?  Lon. 
Thus far you have: When as a Friend I offered you a Cordial for the Infection of Leonoras Eyes: She in Revenge persuades you 'tis a Poison: I cannot blame your Fears: But till you find the Poison work, believe me still your Friend.  L. Lov. 
So Artful, Sir! You would have me respite my Revenge till you have fixed my Leonora, Married, and enjoyed her! Confusion! Didst think I would resign her tamely to thy Arms? Monster no! Thou never shalt Triumph there till thou hast made thy way through me— Draw— And if thou hast any Title to her Heart, dispute it like a Man: For I am now resolved, but one of us shall live to claim it.  Lon. 
By heaven you are on the brink of ruin, hear me: but— you know it is not fear that holds my Arm.  L. Lov. 
'tis worse! Thy close designing Craft; Thy Aim is still to Cheat me with a pretended Friendship! No more! I will not give thee time to form a new Evasion: Therefore Draw; for I have sworn to satisfy my Revenge, and injured Love.  Lon. 
What if I renounce all Claim to Leonora, or bind myself by solemn Contract never to speak, think of, or see her more.  L. Lov. 
So Tame! No! Even this is not enough to save thy Life: For tho' thy despicable Baseness now prompts thee to forswear thy Love, yet still thy foul Detraction has for ever ruined mine. Leonora thinks me false, and only in Revenge has favoured thee: I slight thee as a Rival: But as a Villain am resolved to end Thee— Guard thy Life.  Lon. 
Give me but an hours Time to prove your Error; Nay, but a Moment now! Hear me but speak!  L. Lov. 
Draw, or I'll nail thee to the Ground!  Lon. 
Nay then!— By heaven I will be heard,  Presents a Pistol. L. Lov. 
Ha! What means the Villain!  Lon. 
Stir not as you prise your Life— And now I'll own myself a Villain! I mean for my betraying Leonora, had not you been blind to your scorn: For though I knew her false, I took too base a way to prove her so: Nothing could excuse me but the height of Friendship! Were what I have done presented on a Stage, all generous Souls would hate me for the part I have acted: But since my good Intention is so ill rewarded by your ungrateful jealousy, I here retort the Villain back; and in defiance of thy Rage, thus Arm a Madmans Frenzy.  [ Offers him another Pistol.] 
I would answer with my Sword, but, as you know, being disabled by a late Wound in my Arm, I thought if you were resolved on Death, this was the surer way too for one of us to find him: Now make your choice my Lord.  L. Lov. takes one. L. Lov. 
Now! thou art a worthy Rival! No more, but Both retire; and then advancing, as our Fate directs us, never let us meet again. They Advance from each end of the Room, and fire on one another; Lon. Falls.  Lon. 
Now Leonora's Yours! Fly my Lord, and save yourself.  L. Lov. 
No! I have killed thee bravely, therefore will not fly: Thy Life was forfeited to thy breach of Friendship; and tho' the Law has no regard to an honourable Revenge, yet there's a higher Power that controls its Rigour, where I am sure so just an Action will have Mercy.  
( Within.) Open the Door there! Open the Door.  L. Lov. 
Who are you?  Y. Ra. 
Friends, my Lord! your Friends.  
( Within.) Hey! A Lever there! Let's break it open.  L. Lov. 
You shall not need. ( Unlocks the Door) Now Gentlemen you may enter.  Enter the mayor, Y. Rakish, a Gentleman, and several People of the House. Maj. 
Why how now my Lord! What the Devil have you more stomach to a brace of Bullets, than a good slice of Venison? A Pox on your forced Meat, odsbu'd I don't like it.— Why what's the matter Man?  Y. Ra. 
Ha! Longville Wounded!  Gent. 
Pray my Lord, how came this?  L. Lov. 
That you shall know another time; let it suffice I own myself the Man, that killed him; I Glory in the action, and will answer it to the Law.— Pray Gentlemen keep out the Crowd, for I would not give Fools a holiday before my time.  Maj. 
Clear the Room there!— You Dog! Run for a Surgeon quickly,— let's see, what is there no Hopes? Here! here! Jacky help him up a little— ( They set him in a Chair.)— What a Devil is he quiter gone! Plague on't, now must I go to Law with his Executors for my Five hundred Pound: why, what an Unfortunate Son of a Whore wert thou to leave it in his Hands.  Y. Ra. 
Any Hands, but yours dear Daddy. Ha! he stirs.  Ma. 
Ah! Dear Charles, the Five hundred Pound! What hast thou done with it? speak! speak! my dear Boy, where is't?  Y. Ra. 
S' Death, Sir, is that a Question to ask a Dying Man?  Ma. 
It is too much Money, Sir, for a Dying Man to run away with.  Gent. 
Here, some fair Water there.  Lon. 
( Rising.) I am obliged to you for your Care, Gentlemen: But at present there is no occasion for it.  Ma. 
What a Devil does he walk before he is Dead?  Y. Ra. 
Why how now Charles! Alive again, and unhurt! How is't?  L. Lov. 
Ha! what Devil has instructed him thus to baffle my Revenge?  Lon. 
And now my Lord, I'll prove myself again your Friend: I feared your jealousy would break into some Extravagance; and to deceive its Rage, took care to Arm you with an Unloaded Pistol: I knew the Noise would bring in People to prevent a sudden Mischief, and give me time to clear my Innocence; which if I now don't convince you of in an Hour, Dare me to the field, if I refuse you then, think me a Villain still, and Post me for a Coward.— If you believe I speak this out of fear my Lord, you wrong your Conscience: For I have given Proof, when your occasions called me, that I esteemed my Honour more than Life  L. Lov. 
I own it true, and 'tis that thought encourages me to embrace the Offer, in the mean time I will struggle with my Reason to believe thee Innocent.  Maj. 
Look you, my Lord! Tho' I know nothing at all of this Business, yet I know Charles is a very Honest Fellow, and I'll stand by him. If he must have occasion for a second, Odsbu'd old Dick's his Humble Servant. ( Claps Lon. on the Back.)  Y Ra 
Nay then, Sir, little Jacky's obliged in Honour to be my Lord's.  Maj. 
Well said, Wickedness! There's an Ingenious Dog! now, rather than be out of mischief, will he fight with his own Father.  Y. Ra. 
Why saith Old Gentleman, you have lived out of all Conscience, and unless I make an Hole in your Lungs, I find I shall never make one in your Estate.  Maj. 
It's a Good Lad!— Why thou wilt have a Thousand Pound a Year, my little Jacky, if thou art not hanged before I die.  Enter a Waiter. Wait. 
Gentlemen! your Dinner is upon the Table.  Maj. 
Come, come, walk in my Lord, I am resolved to see you Friends again,  L Lov. 
I shall be glad of an Occasion, Sir.  Lon. 
Fear not, my Lord, my Honour is engaged to give it you. Exeunt.   

The Scene Changes to Lady Manlove's House.  Enter trifle and lettuce. Trif. 
WEll lettuce, this is a Rare Family we live in: For what between the Amours of my Lady Leonora, and the over-fondness of her Mother my Lady Manlove, we are in a very fair way of making our Fortunes.  let. 
Nay, for my Part, I have no reason to complain: For if I have but a mind to a particular svit of Knots, or a Gown of my Ladies, 'tis but commending her Complexion in a quiter contrary colour, and the Business is done; and if you have but a new Intrigue to entertain her with, her Souls your own. O law! did I never tell you how she served an Amorous Book of mayor Rakish's t'other day.  Trif. 
No Prithee! how was it?  let. 
Why you must know, last Week she borrowed a French Novel of him, and being  told there was one deadly smutty page. in it, she very discreetly begged him to double it down, that she might be sure to avoid it: But when she gave him the Book again, that poor page. was more Thumb'd and blurred, than the beginning of a School boys Accidence.  Trif. 
Ha! ha! and no doubt but she took more Pains to get it by heart. But hark you lettuce, now you talk of a School-boy, how stands you Affair with my Lady's Son, Mass Johnny?  let. 
O in a very fair way, I can assure you: He pretends to comply with his Mother's Design in going to St. Omers: But I know it's only his cunning to try whether or no I shall be concerned to part with him: Now I am unwilling to loose him by being too forward, and am resolved to drive things to an extremity before I consent to mary him.  Tri. 
How! to mary him, why I thought you only designed to make a Fool of him.  let. 
Why that's making an Husband of him I think: O Dear, here comes my Lady, I'll tell you more anon. Exeunt.  Enter a Gentleman with Olivia, Emilia, and Lady Manlove. Gent. 
( to Olivia.) What I have  told you, Madam, is word for word, as I had it from Mr. Longville's own mouth; Well, Ladies I have performed my Duty, and now must beg your Pardon; I left him at Locket's, and promised him to return immediately.  L. Ma. 
Cousin, Your Servant.  oily. 
Sir, I thank you, I am glad you have eased us of our Fear.  Gent. 
Madam, Your Humble Servant. Exit Gent.  Emi. 
Now, my Dear, I hope you are satisfied of my Brother's Truth.  oily. 
It seems my Lord is not yet satisfied of his Friendship.  Emi. 
But you hear he has engaged to convince him of it in an hour.  Oliv. 
When he does that, I shall know how to settle my Opinion.  Enter to them Leonora. lo. 
Ladies, Your Servant: I hope you have heard Mr. Longville is alive still.  Emi. 
Yes, Madam, and I hope will live to give a Proof very shortly both of his Love and Friendship.  lo. 
As for his Friendship that I can't answer for: But I confess I have no reason to complain of him as a Lover.  oily. 
How, Madam!  Emi. 
You have no reason to complain of him as a Lover!  L. Ma. 
O Dear Ladies! Is that such News to you? Well I find of all People your near Relations never trust one another with their Love-secrets.  Emi. 
This Insolence is insupportable! ( Aside.) Pray, Madam, what Proof has my Brother ever given of his love to you?  lo. 
Nay I can't swear, that he has given any certain Proof, for now a days Men offer Marriage, as their Interest directs them, not their love.  oily. 
I see Women are more vain, than Men are false: Now, Madam, I am concerned, and I must tell you, you are the last of Womankind could make me so far jealous of Mr. Longville: I know the Race of Man would fall, were only he and you alive to raise it.  lo. 
I see Vanity, Madam, is a raging 'vice among our Sex, and when it meets with a Disappointment, it knaws itself to Envy. [ Scornfully.]  oily. 
Yes, and Revenge too Madam, which I find is now your aim for Mr. Longville's disappointing you of my Lord Lovemore.  lo. 
All Happiness, Madam, is Opinion; believe he loves you, and you are happy still.  oily. 
No, Madam, let Opinion be your security, I will be contented with Demonstration: Were there no other way to satisfy my Lord Lovemore's jealousy, I would mary him this very Minute,  Emi. 
( to lo) Dear Madam, say all the provoking Things you can to make her pursue that Resolution, if it be but to heighten your own Triumph!  lo. 
●ow Madam! mary him this very Minute? Why sure you would nor ravish him: For I can never believe he will consent to it.  oily. 
You are not the first Lady, Madam, that has mistaken Good Manners for Love.  lo. 
Nor he the first Man, Madam, that has concealed his love with Good manners: Look you, Madam, not that I am fond of Publishing my Conquest: But if you will give me leave I will writ to him this very Minute, and you shall judge what Interest I have in him by his Answer.  oily. 
You had as good let it alone, Madam, it's ten to one but he disappoints you again.  lo. 
However, Madam, you will give me leave to try my Power, [ Smiling] Some Pens and Paper there.  oily. 
What are you going to do, Madam!  lo. 
To writ to Mr. Longville, Madam.  oily. 
[ Pausing.]— I declare it she provokes me!— And dare you let me see what you writ, Madam?  lo. 
Freely, Madam, if you'll give yourself the Trouble.  oily. 
P'shah!— Well! Madam! Pray give me leave to writ to him too?  lo. 
All the reason in the world, Madam.  oily. 
I am amazed! why, Madam, will you writ to him?  lo. 
With your Permission, Madam.  oily. 
Sure I don't understand you! I mean to Mr. Longville!  lo. 
Ay! ay! to Mr. Charles Longville this Ladies Brother, I will writ to him to meet me within half an Hour, at Mrs. Siams, the Indian-House here in St. James's Street, and for both our satisfactions, do you appoint him in another Place at the very same time.  Enter a Servant with Pens and Paper. oily. 
So Positive! This to convince you Madam. Sits to writ.  Emi. 
[ to lo.] I don't know what your meaning may be: But I am sure, Madam, my Brother will be obliged to you for his Happiness: You'll gain him more in one minute, as her Pretended Rival, than half an age of love could purchase him.  lo. 
[ Aside] Poor easy Fool! His Happiness! no his Ruin, or my Wit shall fail me. [ Sits to writ.]  Emi. 
[ to L. Ma.] Methinks, Madam, this is a very odd undertaking for a couple of Ladies to draw two several Bills upon a Gentlemans Heart, and both payable at sight: 'tis well if he don't prove a true Banker, and make them wait his leisure for the Payment.  L. Ma. 
O Madam! the Fund of love is never so low, young men have always a little running Cash to supply a present occasion.  Emi. 
Ay Madam, but one had as good be without it. It is commonly upon very hard Conditions.  L. Ma. 
I'll swear, Madam, there you are in the Right: For now a days a Woman can no more expect to receive a Billetdeux in Honourable love, than a Bill of Exchange in all Ready Money.  Emi. 
Ay Madam! You see what ill Women, and Clippers have brought us to!  L. Ma. 
Nay, Madam, don't lay the Fault upon us Poor Women: For to my knowledge 'tis the false men, that offer their Base love.  Emi. 
But the Women— take it, Madam.  L. Man. 
Not all of 'em, Madam, as you would say yourself, if you knew what severe Repulses I have given young Mr. Rakish; Nay, I can assure you the Old Gentleman, the mayor too has made his Attempts: Well, Madam! If I thought you would be secret I could tell you more too.  Emi. 
Than I desire to know I find! [ aside.] if you please, Madam, another time. Well— have you done, Ladies?  lo. 
Yes, Madam! I have finished mine.  oily. 
I have but two words more— So!  lo. 
Now, Madam, if you please we will red' em.  ( Leonora Reads her Letter.) 
My Resolution still holds of meeting you in half an Hour( accor- to your first Appointment.) at Mrs. Siams, Dear Mr. Longville be careful of my Lord Lovemore, whom you will find it hard to over-reach a second time: While he is deluded nothing can disturb the Happiness of your  
LEONORA.  Emi. 
Phooh! She'll never sand this Letter.— Come my Dear, Now let's hear yours.  Olivia Reads. 
The Town is in a very scandalous Story concerning your Quarrel with my Lord Lovemore: Pray let me see you at my Fathers in half an Hour: For I am impatient till I know the real Truth: Fail not a Minute, as you prise the Quiet of Your  
OLIVIA.  Emi. 
The Quiet of your Olivia! Nothing but Death I am sure will hinder him from obeying so kind a Summons.  lo. 
Very well! If you'll give me leave, Madam, I will Seal it for you.  oily. 
O! I won't trouble you Madam.  lo. 
No Trouble Madam: Pray oblige me. ( oily. gives lo. the Letter.) Have you your Seal about you Madam! ( to L. Man.)  L. Man. 
I must know your Design. [ aside.] Ay Child!  L Man. pretends to be some time feeling for her Seal. lo. 
[ softly to L. Man.] Now, Madam, do you keep them in Discourse a little, while I alter one word in her Letter.  L. Man. 
Ha! What word?  lo. 
Instead of her Fathers, I will put in Mrs. Siams, the very same Place Mr. Longville is to meet at.  L. Man. 
Admirable! But what will you do with your own Letter?  lo. 
That I will take care by a pretended Mistake shall come to my Lord Lovemores Hands. Ask no more Questions, Madam; give me the Seal quickly.  L. Man. 
O! Now I have found it!— There Child. ( Aloud)  [ L. Man. gives lo. the Seal, and goes to the Ladies; while they seem to talk, lo. alters the Letter, and seals it.] lo. 
There's your Letter, Madam. to Olivia.  oily. 
Who's there?  Enter a Servant to Olivia. 
Here! step to Lockets, and give this Letter to Mr. Longville! If you don't find me here, bring me an answer to my Fathers.  ( lo. offering to seal her own Letter.) oily. 
Hold! Madam, once more for my Satisfaction, let me see if this be the same Letter you showed me?  lo. 
The Consequence would have convinced you, Madam; but I can't blame you for believing your Eyes.  oily. 
'tis the same. [ she returns it to lo. who seals it.) Pray let me see you sand it however.  lo. 
Within there!  Enter a Servant to lo. 
Run with this to Mr. Longville at Lockets. ( he is going) De'e hear!— stay below till farther Order. softly.  
It requires no Answer, make hast again. aloud.  oily. 
Emilia! are you not amazed? You see she has sent the Letter! He will not meet her sure!  Emi. 
I know not what to think!  oily. 
would I had never sent him mine: I begin to fear her now.  Emi. 
Don't let her see you do, I am as impatient of the Event, as thou art.  oily. 
Dear Emilia, go with me to my Fathers, I am in a thousand fears, and dare not trust myself alone.  Emi. 
Ladies your Servant.  lo. 
Your Servant, Madam.  L. Ma. 
Dear Ladies, your most Essential humble Servant.  lo. 
trifle. Exeunt.  Enter trifle. Tri. 
Madam.  lo. 
Look me out a Hood, and Scarf, and Mask, and bid Sam. come to me.  Tri. 
Yes Madam.  L. Man 
[ aside.] I am resolved to Encourage her in this Design, because it forward my Revenge upon Mr. Longville, for slighting the Advances I made him.— Well, my Dear, while you are pursuing this Affair, I'll take care to dispatch your Brother Johnny; when he is once disposed of, let me alone to manage the Estate; the sturdy Oaks shall bow their Head, I'll make 'em know their Mistress. Exit.  Re-enter the Servant to lo. lo. 
Have you my Letter?  Ser. 
Yes Madam.  lo. 
Go to Lockets, and sand it up to my Lord Lovemore by a Waiter: If my Lord questions you about it, face him down you bid the fellow give it to Mr. Longville. Exit. Ser. I think my Project cannot fail: For by my Lords Resentment, or Olivias jealousy, any way my Ends are answered: It has all the various Motions of a Clock, and Points me to the Day, the Hour, nay the very Minute of Revenge. Exit.   

The Scene Changes to Lockets: Lord Lovemore, Longville, the mayor, his Son, and a Gentleman are Drinking at a Table.  Ma. 
ODsbu'd my Lord, you are not Merry: I am sure Charles is a very honest Fellow: But you don't look as if you were hearty reconciled to h●m: Pox o' these handsome young Jades, they are good for nothing but to put People out of Humour.  L. Lov. 
You mistake me Sir, I am never Merry: And to satisfy you that I am not our of Humour, Pray Sir, lend me the Flask! Come, Sir, ( to Lon.) to a right Understanding between us.  Lon. 
I thank you, my Lord: I don't like this Ceremony.  Enter a Waiter, with Olivias Servant at the Door. Wait. 
Is Mr. Longville here, Gentlemen?  Lon. 
Ay! Who would speak with me?  Wait. 
A Footman waits at the Door, Sir.  Foot. 
Sir, I have a Letter for you.  Lon. 
Ha! From Olivia! [ Reads] um!— um!— Let me see you at Mr. Siams in half an Hour— Humh! How comes she to Fancy that Place— Um!— Um!— Fail not, as you prise the Quiet of your— Olivia.— So kind! This is Fortunate! If I can persuade her in this Humour to make me some acknowledgement before my Lord: Sure! That must convince him of my Innocence. ( He whispers the Footman, who goes out.) Gentlemen, I must ask your Pardon: I have a little urgent Business fallen out!— And now my Lord I propose in less than an Hour, to give you the satisfaction I promised you.  L. Lov. 
Where shall I find you?  Lon. 
If you please, my Lord, at my own House.  L. Lov. 
I'll not fail. Walks apart.  Lon. 
Come, Gentlemen, I'll make the Venison mine. There!  ( Throws down two Guineas.) Y. Ra. 
O fie! Charles! Your Club is not half this, by no means.  Ma. 
Let's see! let's see! ( snatching 'em out of Y. Ra. Hand.) What is't? Two Guineas! Odsheart, this is too much of all Conscience! Why! What dost thou mean?  Lon. 
Gentlemen, I brought you hither!  Ma. 
( Pausing.) Well!— a— I'll pay your Club, Charles: Don't forget to ask me for the Overplus.  Puts 'em into his Pocket. Y. Ra. 
Humh! If he does Sir, you will put him in mind on't, I suppose.  Ma. 
Why what's that to you, sauce! What have you to say to it?  Y. Ra. 
Nay Sir, nothing at all, not I: The Guineas are good Guineas, and in my Opinion, they are in very good Hands too.  Ma. 
What you have a mind to finger 'em, have you? Brass! Humh!  Y. Ra. 
No Sir, I seldom meddle under five Hundred.  Ma. 
Odso! that's true, my little Jacky! Charles! the Five Hundred Pound, you forgot that my dear Boy.  Lon. 
I ask your Pardon mayor: But I have lest it below: ( to a Waiter.) Bid your Master sand me up that Money I gave him.  Exit Waiter: Y. Ra. 
Pshah! you need not give yourself that trouble, Charles, I have no great occasion for it now.  Ma. 
Humh! That's true again, my little Jacky! But you know a Body would be sure 'tis safe! Humh!  The Waiter Returns, and gives the Money to Longville. Lon. 
( to the Gent.) Dear Ned I must engage you to be Trustee: If the mayor won't come to composition, keep it till I see you again: My Lord your Humble Servant, Gentlemen I am yours. Exit.  Ma 
O that's well! but Prithee Ned, let's see, if it be right, my dear Boy.  Offering to take it from the Gent. Y. Ra. pulls him by the Sleeve. Y. Ra. 
Hark you Sir! I am considering what will be my best way to dispose of this Money.  Ma. 
Humh! Dispose of it didst thou say! Newgate! Humh!  Y. Ra. 
Ay, Sir, for you know these are very good times to improve ready Money in!  Ma. 
Ay, and impudence too, my little Jacky: For now a days if a Man have but a good Brazen Face, it does not signify whether he has any Money in his Pocket, or no.  Y. Ra. 
Why therefore, Sir, I considered 'twas no great Matter how little you carried about you.  Ma. 
It's a good Lady! Hark you! Jacky!— Was you never out of Countenance?  Y. Ra. 
Humh! Yes Sir, for you sometimes, as last night, when you cheated me of my fifty Guineas.  Ma. 
That Face will get the Dog an Estate in time.— Well! then thou hast a mind to improve this Money Jacky?  Y. Ra. 
Ay, Sir, if you would but put me into a way.  Ma. 
Why so, I will my little Jacky, I'll tell thee what thou shalt do with it presently, let's see! what is all in Gold!  ( Offering towards it Y. Ra. steps bofore him.) Y. Ra. 
O! you need not trouble yourself to look upon it, Sir, it's all Gold to my Knowledge.  Gent. 
Come! Faith mayor to make an end of the Business you shall even divide it, that is give your Son one half in hand, and( as a careful Father ought) lay up the other, till his occasions call for it.  Ma. 
Ay!— That is give him all, and take the rest to myself! Why really if it were not for a little scandal, a Sharper is a very good Trade, I see.  Y. Ra. 
What's that you say, Sir? Dammee! A Sharper! I suppose you have a mind to tilt for it?  Ma. 
I should make a very Poor Dog of thee Jacky, if it were to be decided that way: that's a good look, however. ( Aside.)  Y. Ra. 
If you think so, Sir, I would have you try.  Ma. 
sayst thou so my little Jacky? with all my heart— Odsbu'd I have a trick to over-reach the Dog ( Aside.) Look ye Ned! Lay the Money fairly upon Table.— Now draw Jacky Scabbard, and all, my Dear Boy: For I would not willingly thrust a sword into my own bowels. I'll only show thee what old Jack could do upon occasion; judgement my Lord.  Lord Lovem. 
How now, mayor, what Fencing upon a Full Stomach?  Y. Ra. 
Only Exchanging a Thrust, or two, my Lord, for a little Money.  Ma. 
Ay! ay! For every Thrust I receive, thou shalt have an Hundred Pound, Jacky, but if I disarm thee not one Farthing.  Y Ra. 
Done! Sir,  Ma. 
Done! my little Jacky.  Gent. 
Well! Gentlemen are you agreed? shall it be decided this way?  Y. Ra. 
Ay! ay! Sir, we are agreed! Come old Gentleman!  Ma. 
Look you my Lord! Here's my Guard! Here I stand! and there's my Hat, ( Throws it by.) you are ready Jacky?  Y. R. 
Ay, Sir! come on!  Ma. 
And there's my Wig you Dog: [ Flings it in his face, and disarms him.]  Y. Ra. 
S'Death and Hell! Sir! you don't think I'll take this?  The mayor draws his Sword, and seizes the Money. Ma. 
Tum! Tum! dum, &c. ( Sings carelessly.)  Young Rakish. 
Dammee! Sir, I expect fair Play for the Money.  Ma. 
Tum! Tum! dum. Keeping him off with his Sword.  Y. Ra. 
judgement! Gentlemen is this Fair?  L. L. 
Faith Jack all that I can say to the Business is— that the Old Gentleman has been too hard for thee.  Gent. 
Nay you were disarmed that's certain.  Ma. 
( Looking his Son in the Face.) Tum! Tum! dum! &c.  ( Pockets the Money.) Y. Ra. 
Here! Waiter, what's to pay? ( Out of Humour.)  Ma. 
A Bill here for the Gentleman! Sir, my Humble Service to you.  Y. Ra. 
Sir, I don't care for Drinking.  Enter a Waiter, with a Bill, and a Letter. Wait. 
Here's a Letter for your Lordship.  L. Lov. 
Who brought it?  Wait. 
A Footman below, my Lord.  L. Lov. 
Bid him stay.— ( Exit L. Lov.)  Ma. 
Here you, stay and take your Reckoning, whose Money's this?  Gent. 
It's my Lord Lovemore's, Sir, and there's mine  Ma. 
Why how now Jacky? What Melancholy! I find thou art a true Englishman, always dull at the Payment of a Reckoning.— Well! Hang-dog in consideration of some late Misfortunes, I don't much care if I Treat thee to Day.— There.—  ( Exit Waiter.) 
Tum! Tum! dum! ( Going away Singing.)  Y. Rak. 
So! I find he is resolved to carry off the Money! S'Death, I'll try if I can bully him into Composition:— Hark you, Sir, if you are not in extraordinary hast, may I beg the Favour to know whither you are a going?  Ma. 
Why dost thou ask my Dear Smock-face?  Y. Ra. 
Because, Sir, I have some Reason to believe it may be to my Lady Manlove's, and let me tell you, Sir, it won't be convenient: For I am going thither. ( Surlily.)  Ma. 
( Pausing.) Hast thou nothing else to say to me? Brass! Humh!  Y. Ra. 
If you do go, Sir, Perhaps you may repent it: For in Plain Terms— I shall not care to see you there.  Ma 
Very Good!  Y. Ra. 
You will disturb us, Sir.—  Ma. 
Disturb you! Humh!  Y. Ra. 
Then I shall grow angry, Sir.—  Ma. 
Shalt thou!  Y. Ra. 
I hear, Sir, you make Pretences there.—  Ma. 
dost thou!  Y. Ra. 
And I advice you as a Friend to give 'em o'er.  Ma. 
( Pausing.) Say no more, my little Jacky. ( Going.)  Y. Ra. 
Sir, I have a great deal more to say. ( Stays him)  Ma. 
Say it.  Y. Ra. 
Why then, Sir, I won't bear a Rival in my Love.  Ma. 
Is this all? is this all? You dear Blushing Rogue you?  ( Pinching his Cheek.) Y. Ra. 
In short, Sir, I find your Good Nature, and my Fortune are so very low, that I am resolved to mary her.  Ma. 
To mary her? very Good!— Now, but upon condition I will give thee back this five Hundred Pound, Thou wilt renounce all claim to her, is not it so my little Jacky? Come! speak, you dear Rogue.  Y. Ra. 
Why look you, Sir, in consideration, that you are my Father,— and a Gentleman, that I have a Kindness for, make it a Thousand Pound, and I'll have no more to say to her.  Ma. 
A Thousand Pound, my little Jacky?— Wilt thou' ba●e me nothing?  Y. Ra. 
I am always at a Word, Sir.  Ma. 
At a word, my little Jackey! Nay, then, for a quiet Life d'ee see, I will give thee— I will give thee— let me see! What shall I give thee?— I'll give thee! I will give thee— ( Pauses.) The Devil a groat, my little Jackey.  Exit Ma.& Gent. Y. Ra. 
So! Now may I go hang myself:— 'S Death! is there no way to be revenged of this old Fellow?— Ha!— Igad my Lady Manlove has given me encouragement! Her Joynture's worth two Thousand Pound a Year, beside the Guardianship of her Son. Let me see! Here's Revenge, a good Estate, Marriage, and an old Woman all together in one Dish: Now to consult my stomach a little! Revenge is a pretty hollow Bit, that's the Truth on't, and two Thousand Pound a Year is well enough for a young Fellow to piddle upon: But then again, Marriage is Hell, and an old Woman the Devil.— Humh! Igad, and so is any Woman after a Months Possession. Pox on't, I'll even humour my good Fortune, and pursue her, and so dear Daddy look to your Hits: Old! why so: much the better! would she were Fourscore! For Igad upon second Thoughts, when a Man is to be noos'd, who the Devil would complain to be tied up in a rotten Halter. Exit.  Re-enter Lord Lovemore with the Letter open. L. Lov. 
Confusion! Is this the Proof he gives me of his Innocence? But I'll not leave a Thought unsatisfied. Here! Waiter.  Enter a Waiter. 
Where's the Fellow, that brought this Letter?  Wait. 
He is here, my Lord.  Enter Leonora's Servant. L. Lov. 
Come hither Friend, to whom had you Orders to give this Letter?  Ser. 
What Letter, my Lord!  L. Lov. 
Why this Letter from your Lady.  Ser. 
O dear, I brought a Letter to Mr. Longville, I hope your Lordship has not opened it.  L. Lov. 
This Fellow  told me, 'twas for me.  Ser. 
O Lord I am undone! As I hope to be saved, my Lord, I only asked if your Lordship was here: Because my Lady charged me not to give it Mr. Longville before your Lordship: Why did not I bid you give the Letter to Mr. Longville?  to the Waiter. Wait. 
I beg your Pardon, my Lord, I understood him your Lordship.  Ser. 
O dear! I shall be turned away! Pray, my Lord let me have the Letter again, I'll try to seal it! O! I am ruined, what shall I do?  L. Lov. 
Fear not, I will take care of thee, it requires no Answer. Exeunt. Ha! There's yet another Proof behind, she tells him here she will meet him at Mrs. Siams, according to his first Appointment. There will I wait for him: If he keeps his word!— If! Why do I doubt it? Does not every Circumstance convince me that he will? O there is no security in Man! Here might the World expect that I should curse my Stars, and raging vow Revenge: But I( so soft is my relenting Nature) could weep to see how Men can damn themselves: But what's impossible to Womans Eyes? Had he not loved, he might have still been Honest: For he has given me Proof, in Danger and Distress, both of his Courage and Fidelity: But now with one infectious Glance of a resistless Woman, his tainted Soul breaks out in an ungrateful Villain, and a Coward.  
Men may a thousand ways their Virtue prove,  
Yet still be counterfeit, when touched with Love.  Exit.  
The End of the Third Act.   

ACT. IV.  

The Scene, Lady Manloves House.  Enter Lady Manlove, and Father Benedic. F. Ben. 
MAdam vat you tellà me abote your Son, is one ver' glorieuse Action: You sall' avè your Revard in the toder Varle: For vidout doubt de best way to dispose of your shile is to pote' im in de way to heaven.  L. Man. 
Why truly Father, I always had Inclination to the Church: But you must know Sir, I found my Son Johnny had naturally a quick Wit, therefore I knew a good Education would spoil my Design: Now Sir, that nothing might be wanting on my side, I have taken care to breed him at a private Country School; and notwithstanding the natural dullness of his Master, I gave him a particular Charge to keep him in Ignorance: For I all along designed him for a Churchman.  F. Ben. 
O! Dat is vel, Madam! Ma foy! Sometime d'Ignorance in de Priestè is ver necessary to support de Cause of de Shursh: Vor ven de Paisant see dat de Preistè do himself of b'leive All de mystery of de Religion, den de Paisant will b'leivà too. Botè ven de Priest be Vise Man, neider de priest nor de Paisant beleiva noting at all.  L. Man. 
Indeed, Father, 'tis a great Misfortune to the Church, that the wicked laity can't be confined from believing according to their erroneous Reason.  F. Ben. 
O! you say ver vel, Madam! Ma foy it vu'd be much great deal better for de Shursh, if dey had no raisin at all! Vell! but madam vere is your Sone?  L. Man. 
He is making himself ready for his Journey: Pray Sir, let me beg of you to use your utmost Authority: For you'll find him a stubborn Creature, and very hard to be kept under.  F. Ben. 
Me war', madam! let me alone, let me alone.  L. Man. 
Really Sir I am almost ashamed to give you all this Trouble! Pray accept of these fifty Pieces, as an Earnest of my acknowledgements.  F. Ben. 
Ah! Fi! madam, de Shurch no take de Money.  L. Man. 
Nay, dear Sir, I won't be refused.  F. Ben. 
Umh! Vell! madam, if you please me vill byy your Sonè some Bookà ( takes the Purse.) Vere is he, Madamè, vere is he?  L. Man. 
Putting on his Boots below Sir: The young Rogue is so fond of being on Horseback, that nothing will serve him but riding Post to Harwich.  F. Ben. 
Dat is vell, madam, me vill go put on my Bootà too.  L. Man. 
Dear Sir, I am afraid, that riding so hard will Discompose you.  F. Ben. 
O! madam! Note at all! Ven de priest do undertake to Promote de Cause of de Shursh, he always go vip, and spur, vip, and spur, like de Diable.— Adieu Madam. Exeunt severally.  Enter Mass Johnny ready dressed for his Journey, and lettuce following him in Tears. Mass Johnny, 
What dost thee dangle after me for?  let. 
Well Squire, I knew the Time, when you would ha' been glad that I would ha' followed you: But I find now you never loved me. cries.  M. J. 
It's a lie!— I did love you, so I did!— and so I do still.  let. 
And can you have the Heart to leave me then?  M. J. 
Remember the back Closet up two pair of Stairs, young Gentlewoman— Yaah! you could squall louder then, when I did but offer to see, whether you Garter'd above Knee, or no.  let. 
Why I don't Garter above Knee, you may feel here then? sobbing.  M. J. 
What do I care? I won't feel there, I'll feel which way I please, or I won't stay.  let. 
No Squire! You are mistaken in me, I am not such a one neither, I'll die before I'll be your Whore.  M. J. 
And I will be hanged, before I will be your Fool.— Why Dick! why dost not get the Horses ready?  let. 
You shall not leave me then.— She hangs upon his Arm. If you will stay, I will be kinder to you: Do but try me, till to morrow: I won't cry out no more, indeed now: You shall tie my Garter, where you please, if you won't go.  M. J. 
Will you let's Buss you then? ( Surlily.)  let. 
Yes! in a civil way. ( Kisses her.)  M. J. 
Well! But will you Promise to love me now? and be free with a Body?  let. 
I'll love you, as long as I live, if you won't leave me. ( crys.)  M. J. 
Well! well! what do you whawle for?  let. 
I am sure' twu'd break my heart to part with you! Pray, dear Squire don't go!  M. J. 
What d'ye keep such a Baaling for? I tell you, I won't go.— Let's Buss you again.  Lady Manlove seeing them, stops at the Door. L. Man. 
What's here? my young Rogue, and that Impudent Quean in close Conference?— I'll observe' em.  M. J. 
But will you promise to mary me to Day, if I won't go?  L. Ma. 
So! ( Aside.)  let. 
mary you! ay! Poor Fool! You may be sure on't. ( Aside.) But won't you forsake me then, and use me ill?  M. J. 
I tell you, I won't use you ill, you Fool you.  L. Ma. 
O! I han't Patience, the Rogue's just Ruining my Design!— Why, how now, Sirrah! what are you doing there?— and you Mrs. Flirt! I'll teach you to Debauch my Son! I will you Stinking Jade you.  M. J. 
What d'ee strike her far, Mother? what d'ee strike her far? You shan't strike her no more. Inter posing.  L. Ma. 
How! Sirrah! shall not strike her? you saucy Rogue! I will fell you to the Ground.  M. J. 
Wu'll ye?— I'll try that— [ He holds her Hands.] Now strike me to the Ground? Can't you? ●et's see you strike me now? [ They struggle.]  let 
[ Aside.] What an Unfortunate Discovery was this? to be caught just as we had agreed upon Articles: But however I don't fear him, for I know he will mary me now, if it be only to contradict his Mother— Dear Squire don't anger my Lady so! Pray, Sir, let go.  M. J. 
Why, if she will be quiet, with all my Heart, I don't meddle with her. [ ●ets go his hold]  L. Ma. 
O! O! the Rogue has sprain'd my Arms, I shall not be able to stir 'em this Twelve Month.  let. 
I am glad to hear that; Then I shall have a Cessation of Double-Fists this Twelve-Month.  M. J. 
Look you, Mother, I am sorry for't, I did not design you no harm, not I: But why should you offer to strike the Poor Girl so?  L. M. 
Sirrah, what's that to you, how dare you justify her?  M. J. 
Why may be I have a Kindness for her, what then! and look ye, Mother, to tell you the Truth, indeed I do think you ought to be acquainted with the Business, you must know I— I design to mary her.  L. M. 
And dare you tell me this to my Face, Sirrah?  M. J: 
Why how should I tell it you behind your Back:  L. M: 
Sirrah! How dare you think of such a Thing? You Jackanapes!  M. J. 
Don't 'ee caal me Names, Mother, Don't 'ee caal me Names: But if I do think on't how can I help it? And Pray why should not I think on't as well, as you? I suppose you thought of a Husband, and why should not I think of a Wife? You have had your swinge already! Ico'd my father was noa Flincher, was not I born of your Body pray, and why should not I get some Body upon some Body else's Body?  L. M. 
Was ever heard such Impudence! Sirrah! I shall turn over a new leaf with you: Your governor shall know, what a wicked Rogue you are! I'll make him flay your Back-side for you!  M. J. 
I don't believe you will! Ico'd, an' he meddles with me, I may chance to lay him upon his Back: He flay my Backside! He! Kiss— won't he?  L. M. 
So Sir! this is very fine Language!  M. J. 
lettuce, do you slip away into my Chamber, and I will come to you presently— Exit lettuce.  Enter Father Benedic Booted, &c. L. M. 
O Father! I am glad you are come, your pupil here, my Son Johnny, has been making Love to one of my Impudent Maids, tells me to my Face, he will mary her, he won't go his Journey not he!  F. Ben. 
Lettá me alone; lettá me alone; Come, come, Madam,' is bettre to give him de good vard:— How you do, Young Gentleman;' owe you do? me fall be ver' glad to 'ave de care of you.  M. J. 
Ay, and you had best have a care of me.  F. Ben. 
You no feara dat; Dat is ver' vell: Now you be one good shile. ( Pats him on the Head.)  M. J. 
What d'ye Tap me oth' Head for. ( Surlily.)  F. Ben. 
O! me lose you, Maitre Jeanny, me loaf you.  Chucks his Chin. M. J. 
Let my Chin alone wu'll ye? Strikes away his Hand.  F. Ben. 
Vat you mean! strikea me! Vat you mean? me sall 'ave de Vip for you.  M. J. 
Who's that you will have the Whip for? You Loggerhead you? Who will you have the Whip for, ha!  Doubling his Fist. F. Ben. 
Loggerhate! Jernie Bleu! Vat is dat Loggerhate?  M. J. 
You may go look! it's such a Fool as you are.  F. Ben. 
De Fool! a ha! me onderstanda dat ver' vell! you callá me de Fool! Humh!  M. J. 
Why don't you hear I do Dunderpate?  F. Ben. 
Dunderpate! ye vous pry, madam, vat is dat Dunderpate?  L. Ma. 
O! a very Scurrilous Name, Sir, won't you break his Head for't?  F. Ben. 
O! lettá me alone, Madam: Ecoutes, Maitre Jeanny: Vat vill you say, if vor de Loggerhate, vor de Fool, and vor de Dunderpate, me sall give you, one, two, three slap of d' Shops. Maitre Jeanny, Humh?  M. J. 
Why I say if you give me such another word, I may chance to wipe you crass the Jaws?  F. Ben. 
Ver' vell! vere is de Reverance you 'ave vor my person?  M. J. 
O Lord Sir! I do Sir-reverence your Person.  F. Ben. 
Allons, dono askà me de Pardonne, askà me de Pardonne.  M. J. 
Ask your Pardon for what? for what? Can you tell you owl you? Ask your Pardon— Here give the poor Boy his Hat!— There! Now I ask your Pardon—  He strikes off his Hat, and Periwig, and discovers the circled upon the Priests Head. M. J. 
( staring upon him) A hey! What a dickens have we got here?  F. Ben 
Ah! queen Grande Malheure! vat sall me do? Il à Decouver in a Couronne.  L. Man. 
Undone! ruined! I shall never get the Rogue to go now.  M. J. 
( to F. B.) Pray Sir, What Trade are you?  L. Man. 
He is no Trade Sirrah: But a Civil sober Gentleman, that I have prevailed with to be your governor.  M. J. 
He my governor! What to make a Papish of me? Look you Mother, as for Religion d'ye see? Truly— I can't well say what I am of: But Ico'd this I know, that I won't be a Papish; It's a hard Case, if a Man must go to the Devil, he shan't take out his Sins in what sort of Wickedness he pleases: For my part I'll even go the way of the Flesh, I am resolved the Spirit shall not carry me, Ico'd I won't be Priest-ridden thither: Not but I believe this same Gentleman knows the Road as well as a Dover Post-horse: But I am not so hot upon that Journey, and so I will pull off my Boots, d'ee see.— Tall! lall! lall! ( He sits down to pull off his Boots, and sings.)  L. Man. 
You impudent young Rascal! How dare you offer to pull off your clothes? Sirrah! I'll have your Bones broken, I'll make you change your Tune.  M. J. 
No! you shan't! Tall, lall, lall!  L. Man. 
You saucy Rogue! do you laugh in my Face! I'll whip your Eyes out. She offers to take F. Benedics Whip.  F. Ben. 
No trouble yourself, madam! letta me alone!— ( to M. J.) Allons! pote on your boot, Maitre Jeanny!  M. J. 
( looking in his Face.) Tall, lall, lall!  F. Ben. 
Vat is dat ta, la, la, la! Me say pote on your boot!  Smacks his Whip. M. J. 
Ay, it's no matter for that, I won't change my Tune! Tall, lall, lall.  L. Man. 
Hold Father, don't be too severe: I find there is no Dealing with him; we must even try what fair Words will do.  F. Ben. 
Ma Foy! Madam— me beleiva dat is de best way.  L. Man. 
Johnny! My dear Johnny don't be so wilful! Prithee mind what I say to thee.  M. J. 
Why ay, Mother, now your Note's altered d'ye see, I don't care if I do change my Tune.  L. Man. 
Now thou art a dear Child! Come, that's my good Boy, prithee put on thy Boots again; see! Here's money for thee: Thou shalt have every thing thou canst ask for.  M. J. 
( aside.) Say you so: Ico'd then I'll serve you a rare Trick: That Money will buy lettuce a pure Topping to her Wedding clothes. Why look you Mother! Because you give me good words now, if you'll give me that Purse, d'ye see! and make father Baald Pate walk down stairs, I will put 'em on again.  L. Man. 
But will you promise me to go your Journey too?  M. J. 
Pooh! I will, I tell you.— Why don't he go?  ( He sits upon the Floor to put on his Boots.) L. Man. 
Dear Father, don't let us across him in this good Humour: Pray be gone.  F. Ben. 
Vid all mine' art, madam, Maitre Jeanney me be your ver' humble Servant. ( exit.)  L. Man. 
Why dost thou sit upon the Floor Johnny?  M. J. 
Pooh! What does it signify?— Where's the Purse, Mother?  L. Man. 
That's a good Child: Put on the t'other Boot, and thou shalt have it.  M. J. 
Pshah!— Why there' tis!— You see what 'tis to be Civil to a Body.— So! Now give's the Money.  While she talks to him, he steals a Gimlet out of his Pocket, and fastens her Gown to the Floor. L. Man. 
Well, but will you promise to get on Horseback, as soon as you have it?  M. J. 
What d'ye think I would tell you a lie, Mother, and look you in the Face o' this Manner?  L. Man. 
That's my dear Boy, there 'tis to do what thou wilt with.  M. J. 
( Rises and pulls off his Boots again.) Tall, lall, lall!  L. Man. 
How now! What does the Fool mean?  M. J. 
No Fool, no Fool Mother.  L. Man. 
You wicked Villain, I'll— ( Offering towards him, she is held by her Gown.) Ha! What's here! Hark you Sirrah! Rogue! What's the meaning of this?  M. J. 
Why, that's because you should not follow me! Look you, Mother, always tie a mad Bull to a Stàke! tall, lall!— and there's my Tune again for you now. Tall, lall, lall!  Exit singing. L. Man. 
Was ever Woman plagued with such a stubborn Rascal? What shall I do— ( endeavouring to free her self.) O! how the Rogue has rammed it in?— Who's within there? If I live I'll be revenged! I'll mary the lewdest Fellow about Town, nay the most notorious Rogue of a Lawyer, but I'll keep his Estate from him.  Enter a Servant. serve. 
mayor Rakish, Madam, and his Son desire to speak with you.  L. Ma. 
They could not take me in a Better Time, neither of 'em shall want Encouragement; Here, Prithee undo this.  serve. 
O Dear, Madam, this is Master Johnny's Gimlet, I am sure, it is the very same, that he tacked Mrs. trifle, and person Waggish together with.  L. M. 
Where is the Rogue? did you see him?  serve. 
Yes, Madam, he just now put Mrs. lettuce into an Hackney-Coach.  L. Ma. 
And did he go with her?  serve. 
No, Madam, he is some-where about the House.  L. Ma. 
If he offers to go out, be sure you Dog him, and bring word immediately.— Go, bid the Gentlemen walk up.  serve. 
They are here, Madam. [ Exit Servant.]  Enter the mayor, and Young Rakish. Maj. 
Madam, your most Humble Servant: Odsbu'd! It is a Month since I kissed your ladyships Hands. ( Offering towards her Y. Ra. steps before him.)  Y. Ra. 
It's an Age, Madam, since I did; therefore, as a long absent lover, ought to do it first. ( Catches her Hand.)  L. M. 
O Dear, Sir, I'll swear you Hurt me.  Y. Ra. 
Can there be harm in such a Tender Grasp of Love? Madam, your Raging Charms bound like a rolling Deluge o'er my Soul, and choke me with Excess of Passion! Ah! the very Pangs of Death are on me, I beat and struggle like a Drowning wretch for life, and these my last Convulsions.  Maj. 
Uumh! ( Aside.)  L. Ma. 
( Aside.) Well, I really believe I might have satisfaction enough in such an Husband, without considering the Pleasure of Revenge.  Y. Ra. 
( to Maj.) Will you make it a Thousand Pound, Sir?  Maj. 
' Oones you Dog, I'll lay your Head upon both your Shoulders. ( Apart to Y. Rakish.)  Y. Ra. 
( Turning quick to L. Ma.) O take me to that Healing Bosom, wrap me in the warm folds of Love, feed me with the Balmy Sweets, that flourish there, give me new life, and nurse me to an Infant Dotage.  L. Ma. 
( Aside.) O! I shall Faint, I am not able to contain myself!  Maj. 
[ Softly to Y. Rak.] Jacky, Thou shalt have an Hundred Guineas, Prithee, let her alone, my Dear Boy.  Y. Ra. 
[ Starting back he jostles the Maj.] Where am I? Sure 'tis Elysium! For Mortal Flesh, could never feed so high, I surfeit with Delight: my Soul's all over Bliss: my ravished Senses ache with Pleasure, and I grow faint with Gazing.  [ Throws himself on her Bosom.] L. Ma. 
O I die: I die: [ Aside.]  Maj. 
Jacky, my Dear Jacky, thou shalt have five Hundred Pound.  Y. Ra. 
Thus let us ever live; thus blessed with one Perpetual Round of Circling Pleasure, still Fainting with Excess of Love, and waking still to new Reviving Joys.  Maj. 
' 'ounds, how the Rogue has dissolved her?  Y. Ra. 
You see, Sir, what Posture my Affairs are in: Nothing but a Thousand Pound can forbid the Banes.  Maj. 
sayst thou so my little Jacky? [ Steps between 'em, and Draws.] Then there lies your way, down Stairs Dog: go, get you gone, Sirrah.  L. Ma. 
Ah, for Heav'ns sake, what do you mean?  [ Holds the mayor.] Y. Ra. 
O don't be frighted, Madam, I'll tell you the Business— You must know, Madam, there is a Young Lady here in the Pallmall, of a Prodigious Fortune, whom it seems my Father here, positively designs I shall mary, or he will disinherit me; and so let him, Madam, if he pleases, for my part, I confess my Soul, and Blood, Madam, are entirely Devoted to your ladyship; and if I were to die upon the spot, Madam, I solemnly declare, Madam, I would not renounce one tittle of that Etern●l Passion I have avowed for your Ladiship's most inde●●b●● Perfections. [ bows, and Ogles her.]  Maj. 
Umh! [ astonished.]  L. Ma. 
O fie! Sir, This is most inhuman to force your only Son to mary one he can't love: Come, Sir, for my sake spare him: Pray put up your Sword.  Maj. 
Well, Madam, for your sake d'ee see I— I will sheathe my Indignation: But by the Pleasure of Drinking all this is a more Notorious lie than ever came out of the mouth of an Irish Evidence:— But now, Madam, to the Business I came for: Look you, Madam, if you and I make a match, d'ye see; you must expect every ten Months for the first seven years Twins, Madam,— I always get Twins— That whelp's a Twin, Madam, and the Product of my Juvenile Recreations.  [ Young Rakish all this while makes Love in dumb show behind the Major's Back.] L. M. 
Let me die! But this is Irresistibly Persuasive.  Maj. 
I am very Proud, Madam, your ladyship likes what I say to you.  L. Ma. 
Well, I swear, Sir, you have such a way— and such a Son.  Maj. 
Madam, I have a Thousand Pound a year clear Estate; no Children in the world but this Boy here, I shall drink him dead in a Fortnight, and then, Madam, after my death the Thousand Pound a year's your own for ever: How say you, Madam, do you like of it?  L. Ma. 
Ay, Sir, But now let me hear your Sons Proposals.  Maj. 
Pshah! a Beggar! a Poor Dog, Madam.  Y. Ra. 
Madam, 'tis true, I have not one Groat in the World, have no hopes of any thing: For the very moment that I mary you, I am sure to be disinherited: Madam, as a Friend, I beg you to believe this true, for I could sooner die, than cheat you with a Pretended Fortune. [ Kneels.] But if the Raging Violence of an Humble Passion have any Merit in the Eyes of Virtue, then strew your Pity here, and raise me with a kind Reviving Hope.  Maj. 
What a Tongue the Dog has? ( Aside.)  L. Ma. 
O Dear, Sir, Pray rise.  Maj. 
Pshah, Madam, words; words! mere air; Odsbu'd, I have an Argument in my Pocket, that uses to convince a Woman sooner than all the Poetical Raptures in Christendom. Look you, Madam, the only certain Proof of a Lovers Passion is, when he parts with his Money: [ Takes out a Purse.] Therefore, as an Earnest of my Affection, give me leave to lay this five hundred Pound at your Feet.  Y. Ra. 
Which when you mary, Sir, you know, will be your own again.  Maj. 
Hold your Peace, Sirrah: There, Madam, dispose of it at you please. [ Gives it into her Hand.]  L. Ma. 
O Dear, mayor, this is an Extravagant Piece of Gallantry!— Jesu! How heavy it is— Pray, Sir, do me the Favour to hold it for me: Gives it Yo Ra.  Y. Ra. 
( Leering upon the mayor.)— Tum! Tum! Dum!  ( Sings, and walks about.) Ma. 
I must murder the Dog! I must murder him. ( aside.) Oones! Madam! I could have held it for you.  Y. Ra. 
( Aside.) But not so fast, as I shall.— Tum! Tum! Dum!  Ma. 
I was in hopes, Madam, you would have made a Better use of the Money!  L. Ma. 
O Dear, Sir, can I express my Concern for you, a better way, than by being kind to your Children.  Ma. 
Ay, Madam, but not to my Rival.  Y. Ra. 
Ha! Igad a good thought comes into my Head: look you, Sir, if you'l give me leave to speak a word or two in private with this Lady, I will immediately convince you, that in her disposing of this Money she has had no other Consideration than your Interest.  L. Ma. 
What can he mean? [ Aside.]  Ma. 
Why thi● might be done Jacky, if I could but persuade myself to trust thee.  Y. Ra. 
Why, Sir, you shall not trust me out of your sight.  Ma. 
Humh! sayst thou so, my little Jacky? Nay, then I do give thee leave.  Y. Ra. 
Madam, if you please— Takes her to one side o'th' Stage.  Enter Mass Johnny Behind. M. Jo. 
So! lettuce is safe enough now, and I co'd let 'em lock me up an' they can.— Hey day! who have we here?— I find my Mother has a Colt's Tooth left yet, I warrant these are a couple of Suitors now!— Ico'd, I will put in with 'em— Sir, your Servant: [ To the mayor.] What don't 'ee know me?  Ma. 
Know thee? Prithee who art thou?  M. Jo. 
Who bee I— why I bee— I bee— I co'd I don't know what to tell him, not I— why I be Mother's Zon, don't 'ee see what I bee.  Ma. 
Ay my Dear Lad, I see very plainly what thou art: But want to know who thou art? Who is thy Father, Child?  M. Jo. 
Who?— I have ne're a father at all.— But I believe I shall have shortly: For I see my Mother there is providing for herself.  Ma. 
How! thy Mother? What! is thy Name Johnny?  M. Jo. 
May be it is— What then.  Ma. 
Why then very shortly thou wilt be my Son-in-Law.  M Jo. 
May be not— That's as I shall like you, may be.  Ma. 
Odsbu'd, you young Rogue, I'll Buss you into Good Humour. [ The mayor offers to Kiss him, and he struggles.]  M Jo. 
Let me alone, be quiet, w●'ll ye? You shan't Buss me. [ Kisses him.] Ptah— [ Spits.]— What a Plague do you Slaver one so for? You my father in Law? Yes, so you shall; Ico'd I'll do your Business.  L. Ma. 
[ To Y. Ra.] Why really, Sir, if this be true, I must needs own he is a very Barbarous man to use his only Son at this Rate: If you think I can serve you by Farthering this Innocent Revenge, Sir, you may command me.  M. Jo. 
Hark you, Mother.  L. Ma. 
O you wicked Rogue, are you there?  M. J. 
Lord, don't 'ee be angry, Mother, I come to talk with you about Business.  Y. Ra. 
O pray, Madam, give the Young Gentleman leave to speak however.  M. Jo. 
A good sort of a Civil Gentleman; I may chance to do him a Kindness for this, I'll assure you, Sir, I will, if I can. I am Good natured enough, when People are Civil to me.  L. Ma. 
Well, what have you to say, Sirrah?  M. Jo. 
Say,— why I understand that this Old Soldier here, is a suitor to you, and to tell you the Truth, I don't like him: He is a strange hurly burly sort of a man, he has Buss'd and Slaver'd me here, whether I would or no, and has Prickled my Face, till my Eyes are all of a water.  L. Ma. 
You saucy Rogue is this your Business? Know then Sirrah, that this Gentleman shall be your Father-in-Law, if he pleases: Come, Sir, if you dare trust yourself alone with me, I have something to propose to you from your Son, that very nearly concerns the Happiness of us both!  Maj. 
Odsbu'd! Madam, you over-joy me! But has that Dear Dog put in a word for me at last then? has he? Jacky! Thou Dear Son of an Happy Dog of a Father: Buss me you Whelp, you Dear Bastard! Buss me— odd! I will remember thee for this my little Jacky! Odsbu'd I will!  ( Exit with L. Man.) Y. Ra. 
I shall give you cause I believe.  M. Jo. 
Lord! Sir! How can you let him Slaver you so! Don't it make your Nose tingle! Odsfish! he is gone away with my Mother too!— Shall I fetch her Back again, Sir? Ico'd, an' you say the word I'll do't.  Y. Ra. 
No! No Squire let him alone, he will be little the better for't.— A good sort of an impudent Face this Young Dog has, he may be useful, I'll strike in with him. ( Aside.)  M. Jo. 
Pray, Sir, been't you a Suitor to my Mother?  Y. Ra 
Ay Squire! What do you think of me for a Father-n-Law?  M. J. 
Ico'd I like you very well! Better by half than that Old Soldier. What a deuce do you let him take her aside so for?  Y. Ra. 
O! it's a Design I have in my Head, Squire.  M. Jo. 
Ay sir; But do you know what Design she may have in her Hea● look you, Sir, I mean you well, I wu'd not have you trust her too far neither, Ico'd you don't know her, Sir, you don't know her.  Y. Ra. 
Well! Squire, I am obliged to you for your Good meaning, and in return will acquaint you with my Design upon that Old Soldier.  M. Jo. 
ay!  Y. Ra. 
You must know then.—  M. Jo. 
But hark you, Sir; Pray by the way who is that Old Soldier?  Y. Ra. 
Only my Father, Sir.  M. Jo. 
Hoh! hoh! Ico'd then I find you ear no more for your Father, than I do for my Mother. Well Sir, but pray go on.  Y. Ra. 
About an hour hence, Squire, I shall privately mary your Mother, who in the mean time, by my Allowance is to flatter the Old Gentleman with the same Hopes, and( to revenge a severe Quarrel I have to him) is to appoint him a meeting( just when our Marriage is over) at a Friends House of mine, where I shall have a public Opportunity to laugh at his Disappointment, and invite him to my Wedding Supper.  M. Jo. 
Ico'd, that's well enough! O Dear Sir, shall not I beg the Favour of you to get the person to do me a small Job too? odd! I have a Tight young Girl here hard by that I have a main mind to be married to!— Sir— won't you speak a word to him to tack us together a little?  Y. Ra. 
How Squire! to tack you together! whom have you advised with in this Business? Who is it, you have a mind to mary? are you sure she is fit for a Wife?  M. J. 
I don't know Sir, but I am sure she is fit for an Husband.  Y. Ra. 
Ha! Igad! there can be no harm in tying the Young Rogue of a Slipknot! This was a lucky Discovery, something may be made on't. ( Asid) Well! Squire, I'll do all I can to serve you.  M Jo. 
O Dear Sir! I am mainly obliged to you.  Y. Ra. 
Nay, I won't only lend you my person, but my Money too: Nay, my very Cloths; Igad I will make a Gentleman of you.  M. Jo. 
Wu'll, ye Sir? O law! ( overjoyed.) Ico'd t●en my Mother shall make a Fool of me no longer— Sir, ●s I hope to be to be married, I had rather call you father, that any man in Cursendome.  Y. Ra. 
P'sha! Pox! I'll be a Brother to the ●an: ( Hugs him) Prithee call me honest Jack, we'll smoke an● Whore, and Roar, and take a Bottle together.  M. J. 
Is your Name Jahn? why my Name's Jahn too! Odszooks! that's brave, honest Jahn! How is't Boy? Dammee. ( struts.  Y. Ra. 
Why that's well said, Boy! Igad! thou swear'st like a Gentleman already.— Come, my little rak! Now let's take one cheering Flask before the person does his Business; then get Drunk, break Windows, mawle the Watch, and Bed our new married Wives in the Round-house.  M. J. 
Ho! Boys! God a mercy Brother-Father-in-Law. Exeunt.  Enter Olivia, Emilia, and Leonora. trifle putting on her Hood and Scarf. oily. 
There you mistake me Madam, 'tis my Amazement, not my jealousy, that brought me hither: I own I do wonder why Mr. Longville should disappoint me: But never can suspect his Honour. Speak to her Emilia, for I want Temper to conceal my Fears. ( aside to Emi.)  lo. 
Call a Chair there. ( to a Servant.)  Emi. 
Then you will go Madam?  lo. 
I am preparing for it, Madam.  Em. 
One serious Question more, and I have done, Madam: Do you really expect to meet my Brother at Mrs. Siams?  lo. 
Jesu! Madam I can't imagine why you should question that, after this Lady has confessed he has already disappointed her: But to satisfy you, he expects me this very Moment, he is now at Mrs. Siams,— or my Servant lies, that dogged him. ( aside.) Look you Madam, I don't desire you to believe one word I say: But if this Lady and you will give yourselves the trouble to go thither, I fancy you will find him there.  Em. 
Insupportable. ( aside.) Really Madam, you have an Admirable Talent.  lo. 
I hope Madam, I have not been guilty of any ill Breeding.  Em. 
O fie! Madam, all that you do is with a very Court-like Air: You are resolved to stand it out I see.  lo. 
W●at is't you mean, Madam?  Em. 
I mean, the groundless Jealousies your Malice now would raise between my Brother, and this Lady— He love you! You will as soon persuade me you deserve it, Madam I know, that in' ●is Soul he scorns you.  lo. 
Not so much as I scorn Revenge; I dare say, had I been fond of a Triumph, Madam, I might have had it in a public Wedding. ( Mr. Longville offered it.) But out of Friendship to this Lady, and yourself, I have been content to mary him in Private. I'll out-face this obstinate Devil, tho' I forfeit my Revenge for't. ( Aside.)  Em. 
How Madam, my Brother married to you! to you?  lo. 
To me this Morning, Madam, Sister I may say. ( Mildly.)  Em. 
Sister! ( Angryly.)  Enter a Servant. Ser. 
Here's a Chair Madam.  lo. 
Ladies your Servant, I shall expect you at mistress Siam's. Exit.  Ol. 
Why, have I lived to see this Day? Oh, I am despicable now! I shall be pointed at; the public Merriment of malicious Tongues: Thou were't my Friend Emilia; why didst thou not tell me of my Weakness, that I was Credulous, Conceited, vainly Fond to think my easy Love could fix the Faithless Temper of a Man. But thou alas! were't soft believing Woman, like me unskilled in Injuries: Therefore in fear of none, easily deceived by every show of guil'd Virtue; married! perfidious Man.  Em. 
Believe it not Olivia! Come! we'll follow Leonora: let his own words, nor hers condemn him.  Ol. 
You would not have me see him sure!  Em. 
I would not have you punish him unheard: For, oh! I know his Innocence, tho' now o'er-cast, will shortly break these sullen Clouds, and gilled you with a smiling Joy: Alas! my dear Jealousie's the Disease of Love, a Pain— 
Which first, or last all Lovers must endure:  
But none can speak the Joys, that wait the Cure. Exeunt.    
The End of the Fourth Act.   

ACT. V.  

The Scene, an Indian House.  Longville is discovered looking on his Watch. Lon 
I Wonder why Olivia comes not, the Time's expired, and I am unwilling to fail in my Promise to my Lord Lovemore, who I know will be upon the Rack till I have performed it: But I'll have patience; For I am sure her Generosity, tho' late will furnish me with an Occasion.— Come! Mrs. Siam, what new Indian Toys have you? ( He goes to the Counter.)  Enter Leonora masked at a Distance. lo. 
Longville, here first! 'tis, as I could wish!— hark! I hear some body stealing up stairs! [ She looks out.] Ha! muffled in a Cloak! O! for a Glimpse of him!— My Lord Lovemore, as I live! his Disguise tells me what he comes for, and I hope mine will help me to answer his Expectation: My first Care must be, by some seeming Accident to let him know me: my next to tell this Wretch( who must not know me) some formal Story, that may oblige him to make such Answers as may reasonably incline my Lord to think himself the Subject of our Discourse.  [ She goes to Longville, and talks with him in her Mask.] Enter Lord Lovemore in a Cloak. L. Lov. 
So Punctual! Ha! that must be Leonora 'tis her stature! ( Leonora turns back, pretending to wipe her Face, and gives Lord Lovemore a sight of it) By heaven 'tis she!— I saw her Face!— Wu'd I had never seen it!— Or cu'd but Dream again the promised Raptures of her Virtue: For there was Pleasure in the Vision, infinitely surpassing what we taste in any waking joy: O! there is no Happiness but in Eternal sleep! Ha! [ Observing Lon and lo.] Do I not sleep? Rather let me think, that this is all a Dream! 'tis liker far, Amazing! Incoherent, and Unnatural!— I find I am but a stranger to the World, another man perhaps would wonder at my Amazement! Suppose I should surprise him now ith' very act of falsehood? Will he not sink into the Earth with shane? must not his Conscience burn him up with Blushes? I should resent this Usage, and I will; But, as a brave man ought, Despise him for his Treachery, and forgive it all! Nay more! I'll do a Friends last Duty, and wound him with the tenderness of my Resentment: But stay!— lay hold on all Advantages! something may be gathered from their Discourse— I'll observe' em. ( Lon. comes forward with lo.)  Lon. 
( Aside.) Who the Devil can this be, that is so fond of Acquainting me with her Circumstances?  lo. 
Then you advice me as a Friend never to see him more?  L. Lov. 
Ha! It must be me they talk of. ( Aside.)  Lon. 
I suppose, Madam, you can't expect to be Extraordinary well used if you do.  lo. 
Why, I am sure he loves me still.  L. Lov. 
I hope not, Madam. ( Aside.)  lo. 
Hang it I believe my best way to silence his Resentment, will be to writ him a Civil Letter to acknowledge the severity of my Revenge, and beg him for his own sake never to see me more.  L. Lov. 
For my own sake, that I never will. ( Aside.)  Lon. 
P'sha! Damn her Revenge, what is't to me?  lo. 
What think you of it?  Lon. 
O the best thing in the World, Madam, I'd advice you to step into the next Room, and do it immediately.  ( Pressing her to go.) lo. 
Well! you will peruse it for me?  Lon. 
Ay! ay! any thing to serve you  lo. 
( Aside.) With your Throat: I hope, Sir, you have endangered it to serve me: I'll step aside, and let the Mischief work, I see it lowering yonder in that Brow. Leonora retires.  L. Lov. 
I'll surprise him now, while Leonora is withdrawn: Not knowing that I have seen her Face, possibly he will swear it was no she he talked with!— Are you at leisure, Sir.  Lon. 
My Lord Lovemore!  L. Lov. 
What is't you start at?  Lon. 
To see you here, in this Disguise! you frown, my Lord!  L. Lov. 
fie! that were to confess my Anger: dost thou think thyself beneath it? I smile upon thee.  Lon. 
I understand you not.  L. Lov. 
When saw you Leonora?  Lon. 
This Morning, I am not ashamed to mention it: But why should that disturb you now? I thought an Hours time was given me to clear myself, it is not yet expired my Lord.  L. Lov. 
I can't think you'l keep your word with me.  Lon. 
I don't use to forfeit it, nor do I think it I shall, if no Misfortune across me.  L. Lov. 
Has Leonora  told you so?  Lon. 
Explain yourself.  L. Lov. 
If you were that Enemy you have professed yourself to Leonora, I cannot think at such a time as this, you would meet her here.  Lon. 
Who dares affirm it?  L. Lov. 
I saw her here, this moment saw her here with you.  Lon. 
Then she was here with me, when I saw her not,— next time, my Lord have better Proof e're you condemn so near a Friend as I am; you saw perhaps a Woman talk with me in a Mask, who I believe might know me: For she seemed fond of making me her confident, I listened to her till her impertinence had quiter tired my curiosity: And this Woman I suppose your jealousy has taken for Leonora.  L. Lov. 
Whom did you take her for?  Lon. 
A stranger! I know her not, nor ever care to see her more.  L. Lov. 
Ha! take heed! for if I prove thee in a lie, it will be then dishonourable to talk with thee.  Lon. 
Speak lower: while we are unheard, my Friendship teaches me to bear, but my impatient honour will be justified.  L. Lov. 
Honour! dost thou not blushy to name it?  Lon. 
My Lord, it is not well to bear thus far upon my Friendship, if you wu'd have me think your meaning honest, I do demand a Reason for this Usage.  L. Lov. 
( Amazing.) But that I cannot give my Eyes the lie, I should myself believe thee wronged: But to confounded thee in one word, give me a living reason, why I see thee here.  Long. 
I came to meet Olivia here, by her own Appointment.  L. Lov. 
S'Death and Hell; you will not tell me 'twas Olivia you now talked with!  Lon. 
I mean it not, Olivia has not yet been here.  L. Lov. 
Why then are you here so Early?  Lon. 
Because Olivia charged me, as I prized her Quiet, not to fail a minute: Besides the time has been expired almost this half Hour.  L. Lov. 
Confusion! why is not she here then?  Lon. 
Have a moments Patience, and I'll sand to her to know the reason, in the mean time, my Lord—  L. Lov. 
Away! now thou condemn'st thyself, thy dull Invention's tired, and thou wants time to give it breath.  Lon. 
This from another man would urge me to a fatal Answer: By heaven now I would not have you credit me! No! go on! be obstinate, believe the grossest things of me your Malice can suggest, I will not offer more to clear myself till Demonstration shakes her head, and makes you blushy for these unfriendly wrongs.  L. Lov. 
( Pausing.) I know not why I should: But a resistless Curiosity tempts me to see how far thou wilt drive this: Prithee be sincere, by heaven if there's yet a way in nature left to clear thy Innocence: I here engage my Honour, as far as mortal Patience can to wait the issue.  Lon. 
Had you said this sooner, some words my Lord, might have been spared between us: But I have done, Olivia now shall speak for me; her Presence shall convince you where I have given my heart: That Leonora ever had my scorn, as now, I hope she has yours.  L. Lov. 
Thou talk'st with such a calm indifference, I dare not yet resolve where I shall fix my Thoughts.  Lon. 
No matter where my Lord, let 'em Rove, a moments. Patience will recall' em.  L. Lov. 
I am satisfied. [ They part.]  Re-enter Leonora Behind. lo. 
O! I could run mad, that subtle Devil has talked him into Reason. What can it be that stays Olivia thus?— Were she here, her Resentment wu'd confirm his jealousy, and bring the mischief to perfection. Ha! Fortune sends her to my Wish! Now to prepare her.  Enter Olivia, and Emilia:( Leonora stops them at the Door.) L. Lov. 
Ha! Olivia here too? what can this mean?  lo. 
( to Olivia.) There he is, Madam.  Oliv. 
O! Emilia help me.  lo. 
Now Ladies I hope you are satisfied, what Interest I have in Mr. Longville.  Emi. 
'tis impossible! I'll not believe it scarce should he himself confess it; this is some Trick! he is imposed on! wronged! basely wronged, I am sure 'twill prove so.  Oliv. 
Excuse him not Emilia! I'll shut myself from all the World, and never see the face of Friend again. ( Going.)  Emi. 
Be not too Rash, Dear Olivia, hear him speak first: If he is not able then to clear himself, may all the Punishments his Perjury deserves be mine, if I not join with thee to hate and scorn him.  lo. 
Ay! Madam! Pray stay to examine him however, not that it will be to any Purpose, for to my knowledge he will deny our Appointment, or that he has so much as seen me here.  Emi. 
Nay then I must believe he has not, Madam; I'll have the Truth from him Emi. goes to Lon and oily. turns away in tears.  lo. 
( aside.) Poor harmless Thing, how it frets; I have raised her to my Ends. Now let her go on, while I stand by and laugh to see her forward my Revenge.  L. Lov. 
( aside.) When will my Distraction end! Emilia thinks her Brother wronged! Olivia weeps to see him perjured! I proved him guilty! And yet he starts to hear himself accused, while Leonora leaves him unconcerned: I dare not leave him till these Contradictions are unraveled.  Lon. 
What Riddle's this, Emilia?  Emi. 
How Brother a Riddle! Indeed I grieved at first to find you here! But now could weep to see you justify your Crime.  Lon. 
Away— this Mirth's unpleasing now, where's Olivia? ( He leaves her.)  lo. 
( to Emi. aside.) Is not your ladyship well? Madam, will you please to make use of my Spirits?  Emi. 
Fury!  lo. 
Your Ladiship's Humble Servant, Madam.  Lon. 
( to Oliv.) If either may, Madam, I have most reason to complain: For I have expected you here this Half-hour.  oily. 
Me! Did you expect me here?  Lon. 
Not with such Displeasure in your Eyes, I must confess, Madam: But I have with great impatience waited here for your Commands.  Oliv. 
You dare not justify it?  Lon. 
You cannot doubt it, Madam,  Oliv. 
This Audacious Insolence is beyond Resentment, from you it strikes my Thoughts with Horror!  Lon. 
This Anger, Madam, is a Double Rack, while you conceal the Crime, that has deserved it.  Oliv. 
Is then the Repetition of your Guilt so pleasing? Base Man! why did you sand so fair an Answer to my Letter, when at the s●me time you had resolved to meet another Woman here? Was it not enough to wrong me by an abhorred Abjurance of your Vows: But you must Barbarously expose me to the Triumph of an insulting Rival!  Lon. 
Madam, you confounded me, what Rival?  Oliv. 
Away! I have heard, and seen too much already; Reputation bids me fly you now, Farewell Ungrateful Wretch, and may the shameful memory of my wrongs lie Rooted in your ●eart for ever.  Lon. 
Yet stay, and hear me.  Oliv. 
Never.  L. Lov. 
Hold, Madam! before you go, give me leave to over-reached my wrongs with yours.  lo. 
( aside.) It ripens now!  Emi. 
Ha! My Lord Lovemore here! This must be Combination: But I am resolved to find the Truth before we part: Tho' even my Brothers guilt, or what's yet worse, her hateful Triumph should confounded me. ( Aside.)  ( Emi. locks the Door, unseen, and takes out the Key.) Lon. 
I red Resentment in your Eyes, my Lord: Out with it! For while Amazement makes me tame, I can bear it all.  L. Lov. 
Madam! ( to Oliv.) to justify that Resentment, or to clear the Sacred Honour of a Friend, I beg you faithfully would resolve me one Question: Was it by your desire, or commands, that Mr. Longville came to meet you here?  oily. 
So far from that, my Lord, that 'tis the only Place on Earth, I wished he might avoid.  L. Lov. 
Now, Sir! If my jealousy has wronged you, let it appear before this Lady, if not from this Moment let Eternal Enmity divide us.  lo. 
( Aside.) Ha! ha! ha! Poor Soul he is Dumb! Now my Revenge is perfect, and so poor! easy! cheated! Jealous Fools! Farewell! ( She offers to steal out, and finds the Door last.) Ha! the Door locked! Confusion! I am betrayed! some Devil has counterplotted me; should Longville know me my Revenge is lost: No matter I am above his Anger, and am still secure in this, I'll bravely face 'em to the last. ( Aside.)  Lon. 
One word more my Lord, and I submit: But since my future Peace depends upon your Answer, I beg you would directly give it me, without the least Enquiry, on what Assurance I demand it.  L. Lov. 
I'll answer you.  Lon. 
Then give me instantly an honest Proof, that you have seen me here with Leonora?  L. Lov. 
Hell! and Furies! Is this your Question?  Lon. 
Nay, my Lord, your Promise.  L. Lov. 
'tis true, and there's my Answer. ( Pointing to lo.)  Lon. 
There! how! where, my Lord?  L. Lov. 
Why there! there! Leonora's there! That's she.  ( lo. Unmasks.) Lon. 
( amazed!) Ha!— Nay then! There's the Devil has bewitched us all.  L. Lov. 
What can this Amazement mean?  Em. 
Why are you surprised Brother? Did not you know that was Leonora.  Lon. 
— Not I! by all my Hopes of Happiness! I took her for a stranger, and as such have ignorantly conversed with her:—  Em. 
Now Olivia!  L. Lov. 
Ha!  Ol. 
I am amazed! what can this mean?  Lon. 
That this Lady, I presume, can best inform us: Madam, I confess, I ought not to expect a Favour from you: But yet there's something might be done for both our Honours.  lo. 
Sir, I have nothing to say to you.  Lon. 
Madam, I scorn the low Revenge of a public Triumph: But for your own sake hear me: I freely own for all you have done to me. I have given you a severe Occasion: But yet I hope the World, and you will pardon me: I knew you loved my Friend, and grieved that nothing but my exposing you never could wean him from your Eyes: Now since every Circumstance convinces me, that those Aspersions I now lye under are but the Continuance of your just Revenge, if you'll but clear my Honour by a generous acknowledgement of what you have done to ruin me; you bind us all to an Eternal Secrecy, and me in any Honourable Command to serve you with my Life.  Em. 
Dear Madam, cannot this Goodness move you to an Act so just; nay, and so Glorious too for you? For no one sure can hear your Story  told, but must confess your Wit inimitable, and your Revenge uncommon: No Tongue can speak its Praise like yours, whose Art first raised it to such a Wondrous Height.  lo. 
Madam, I red your secret Triumph in your Eyes: But I am above your little Spleen.  Em. 
Madam you wrong my Thoughts, what I asked of you, I was ready to receive as a real Obligation.  lo. 
Then, Madam, expect none from me.  Lon. 
Nay, then Madam, we must talk on Equal Terms; Now, my Lord hear me.  Em. 
Hold Brother, first let me speak: You are the suspected Criminal, and thus I charge you.— About Two a Clock this Afternoon Olivia, and I visited my Lady Manlove, where we had a full Account from a Gentleman, of your late Quarrel with my Lord Lovemore: Leonora smiled at our Intelligence, and to our Amazement, would persuade us, that you were really my Lord's Rival in her Love; adding withal, that you had lately offered Marriage to her: Nay, and to give us a more convincing Proof of it; she desired, that we would see her writ to you, which she did, and showed us the Letter, wherein she appointed you a Meeting in half an Hour, here, at Mrs. Siam's.— Olivia, more out of a sportive Curiosity, than to satisfy any jealous Thought, begged the same Liberty, and she likewise appointed you to meet her in the same half Hour at her Father's.  Lon. 
Ha!  Em. 
The Letters both were sent: But our Amazement yet continues: Olivia is disappointed, and we have found you here with Leonora: Now, you are free to answer.  Lon. 
Then Truth's in Labour of my Innocence, and thus she is delivered, there's my Answer. ( He produces Olivia's Letter.)  Ol. 
Ha! what's here, my Lord, Emilia! see, here's the Witchcraft that has wronged us all! my Hand counterfeited by Leonora in my own Letter! see! she has blotted out my Father's, and interlin'd Mrs. Siams, the very same Place that she had appointed him her self.  L. Lov. 
What have I done? my shane confounds me! How shall I dare to meet him? ( Aside.)  Ol. 
But hold! there's one thing yet unanswered, if there were no Intimacy between you, and Leonora? What Encouragement could she have to writ to you? What Answer did you sand to her Appointment?  Lon. 
By all that's Sacred, I had no other Letter from Leonora, nor any Appointment whatsoever.  L. Lov. 
No, Madam, here I am bound to speak, he never had that Letter, by a pretended Mistake I find it came to me, merely to keep my frantic jealousy awake; That brought me hither. ( shows the Letter.)  Ol. 
Emilia! Now I am happy.  Em. 
O let me embrace my Brother! At this Discovery nothing but Tears, or Madness can express my Joy.  Lon. 
My dear Emilia!  lo. 
( Aside.)— Lightning part' em.  Ol. 
But pray, my Lord, how could you expect to find Mr. Longville here, when you knew he had not received the Letter, wherein Leonora had appointed him?  L. Lov. 
'twas written with such malicious Art, it left no room for Doubt: For here she says, she will meet him at Mrs. Siams, according to his first Appointment: I thought a second Needless to a secret Lover, which now with shane I own, I then believed him.  Lon. 
Nay, then your jealousy was just my Lord: By heaven I cannot blame you now: But since your Temper is recovered, I beg you would confess your Fears, and give me every Jealous Thought, that wrongs my Honour.  ( Emilia unlocks the Door.) L. Lov. 
By heaven, by this dear Embrace I have lost 'em all: O Charles! if thou hast yet one glowing Spark of Friendship in thy Heart, pity me, for those unwilling Injuries I have done thee, canst thou forgive me?  Lon. 
Not while you ask Forgiveness, that's a Fault I can never pardon.  L. Lov. 
Wilt thou forget' em?  Lon. 
Why do you remind me of' em?  Em. 
( To lo.) The Door is open Madam!  lo. 
destruction seize' em! Now my last Hopes of him are lost: I have nothing lest to hid my swelling Heart; but to affect Indifference.  L. Lov. 
Methinks I have not atoned thy injured Friendship, till I have confessed before the faithless Leonora, that I am hers no more.— Now, Madam—  lo. 
Now, my Lord, are you going to tell me, you have lately discovered a Secret, that all the Town has known these six Years, which is, that I never cared one Farthing for you.  L. Lov. 
This Obligation, Madam, was unnecessary, I needed not this Wit to work me to Indifference.  lo. 
Nor, I, your Indifference to make me angry, your whole Sex is an Eternal Subject for my Spleen: How many wretched Fops have I daily at my Feet, who think themselves much nearer to my Heart, than you: Nay, had you not viewed me with anothers Eyes, you still had been my Slave, your Love had lived on Air, and languished in an endless Hope: 
But I confess you bravely this may boast;  
Of all the Fools, that knew me to their Cost,  
You are the First, that e'er my Eyes have lost Ex. lo.   L. Lov. 
How easily are Men deceived in Love? There's not a 'vice now reigning in this Woman, but what appeared to me the happy Conduct of altering Virtue: But now the false lethargic Dream is over, at last I have thrown the Reins on Reason's Neck, and have out-stripp'd the lagging Mischief far behind me: But here's the careful Guide, that led me to the Goal! O! Charles! How have I wronged thy Friendship, even to the H●z●rd of thy Life, and Honour? The Crime still hangs upon my faltering Tongue, and Silence speaks my shane.  Lon. 
This is too much, my Lord, but if you needs will over-pay the trifling Debt, let me direct your Friendship here.[ Turning to Olivia.] I have a starving Heart, that long has been this Ladie's Prisoner, here you may exert your Charity: For I perceive I owe her more, than faithful Love can pay.  L Lov. 
( To oily.) When Lovers are so poor in Merit, Madam, Beauty should pass an Act of Grace, and take the Moiety, that Nature lends us.  Ol. 
My Lord, I see no want of Merit in Mr. Longville. There needs no more to recommend his Cause: And since he has so severely proved himself your Friend, I'll make it not his Interest to deceive me.— Mr. Longville, if in those few Years you have talked to me of Love, I have been too slow in my Returns, impute it not to an insensible neglect: For I have long studied, tho' unable, to repay it: And I perceive your Merit's swoll'n so high, that I am bound in Prudence now to check the Debt, and let it run no farther, your Conduct has deserved my Heart, nor do I dare with-hold it longer, lest I should repent hereafter, that it was given so late.  Lon. 
This Goodness is above the Reach of Mortal Virtue, it speaks Divinity, and like the Blessings we receive from heaven should only be return'd in silent Adoration.  [ Kneels and Kisses her Hand.] Ol. 
Rise, Sir, from this Moment I am yours.  Em. 
Now, dear Olivia, you are mine too, the Name of Sister binds us ever.  L. Lov. 
This is as it should be, and while my Friend is so, I must be Happy.  Lon. 
( Aside to Emi.) And now Emilia, there is a Blooming Hope for thee, which time can only ripen: Mean while entrust thy heart with me, and be assured thou ne're shalt blushy, when I think fit to part with it.  Emi. 
This is beyond a Brother's love: Words are but empty Thanks: My Future Conduct best will speak my Gratitude.  Lon. 
Thy Past has well deserved my Friendship:— But no more! Here is Company.  Enter Young Rakish. Y. Ra. 
ha! Dear Charles I am Glad I have found you, my Lord, your Humble Servant, I have brought a rare Piece of Diversion along with me.  Lon 
It never could be more welcome; for all you see here are Friends.  Y. Ra. 
I am glad to hear it: But if you were not, I wu'd engage to make you laugh.  Lon. 
What's the Business?  Y. Ra. 
Only my Father, and I, that's all.  L. Lov. 
Why truly thats enough to make one laugh at any time.  oily. 
O Dear, is this the Gentleman, that is so free with his Father?  Y. Ra. 
No, Madam; But I am the Son of a Father, that is very free with me, the Soul of me, my Pleasures I mean, of all the Vices this Town affords,( and thank Heaven it's pretty well stocked) I can't keep one to myself for him; He sheeps me at my own Weapon, he out-drinks me, out-whores me, out-swears me, out-lyes me, out-wits me, and( which I'll never forgive him) he— out-lives me too.  oily. 
Why should you wish for his Death! Does not he allow you?  Y. Ra. 
Yes, Madam, all manner of wickedness: But the Devil a Farthing to purchase it.  oily. 
How can you live without Money?  Y. Ra. 
Faith I begin to be weary of it, and have this very Hour laid a Design to bring the Old Gentleman to a Reasonable composition: I have Rivall'd him in my Lady Manlove, Elbow'd him out of her Favour, and have at last squeezed him out of five hundred Pound provided I renounce all Title to her Inclinations.  Lon. 
And have you done it?  Y. Ra. 
For ought he knows I have, and for ought she knows I have not; in short, I neither design to quit the Lady, nor to keep her any longer, than she serves my turn.  L. Lov. 
How so Man?  Y. Ra. 
She is now below with my Father choosing her Wedding-Gown, have a little Patience, and the Farce will begin.  Lon. 
But hark you, Jack! have you taken care of her Son, as I desired you? I hope he is not gone to St. Omers?  Y. Ra. 
No, no, I have spoiled him for that Journey, I have Married him.  Lon. 
How?  Y. Ra. 
No harm, I'll warrant you: see! here comes my Father, pray observe us— you'll all stand by me upon occasion?  Omnes. 
All! all!  Y. Ra. 
A word with you, Charles. [ They Whisper.]  Enter the mayor, with Lady Manlove. Maj. 
Wish me Joy Charles! Wish me Joy!— ha! my little Lovemore too! Give me thy Hand my Dear Boy! Wish me Joy my Lad!  L. Lov. 
Joy! Of what mayor?  Maj. 
Of a rare Fleshly Feather-bed, you Wag, and two Thousand Pound a Year to wallow in— Odsbu'd she's a Soucer.  Lon. 
Leave it to me. ( ●o Y. Ra.)  L. Ma. 
Ladies, your Servant, I protest I little thought to find so much Good Company upon such a Fortunate Occasion.  Emi. 
Mayn't we know the Occasion, Madam.  L. Ma. 
I'll swear, Madam, it's such a Critical Point I don't know whether my Modesty will be able to go through with the Discovery.  Y. Ra. 
If you please to give me leave, Madam, I will help you out a little.  Maj. 
Ay! ay! tell 'em my little Jacky.  Y. R. 
Well, Ladies, now we are all together, the short of the Business is this: This Noble Lady here generously considering my Sufferings under the Tyranny of an Unnatural Father, and being sensible that by reason of my Indefatigable love to her, I was in a perpetual danger of being disinherited, has out of her abundant Goodness piously consented to revenge me of the said Unnatural Father, by this public Disappointment of his Hopes, having to his utter confusion already taken to her loving Husband the Individual Person of me his lawfully Begotten Son— John Rakish.  Maj. 
Humh! What is all this? Do you know, Madam? What the Devil is it?  L. Ma. 
All truth, Sir, to my knowledge, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so take me, John Rakish Giving him her hand.  Maj. 
Oones, and Hell! I'll chine that Dog to the Navel. Draws.  Lon. 
O by no means, mayor, Prithee put up your Sword, you'll frighten the Ladies.  Maj. 
Prithee Dear Charles let me come at him: O! He is a Bitter Dog! I can't bear him. Trembling with Passion.  Lon. 
Psha! Psha! Prithee be Pacified, if he must be run through the Guts, he will deserve it an hour hence, as well as now: Besides, I wu'd have you hear what he can say for himself: you know he does not use to be Tongue-tied upon these occasions.  Maj. 
Odsbu'd! and that's true, my little Charles! I will hear the Dog, I will hear him,— and if I am tricked, I am satisfied I shall have the Pleasure of half a dozen rare impudent Faces, from the unrighteous Bastard to back his Roguery however.— Come hither Jacky.  Y. Ra. 
Well, Sir!  Maj 
Ay! That's the look! Hark you Iron-face! Art not thou. perjured Rogue? dost not thou expect to be split and broild upon the Devil's Gridiron.  Y. Ra. 
I don't apprehended you, Sir.  Maj. 
Didst not thou promise Dog! to renounce all Claim to that Lady, provided I would quit my Title to the five hundred Pound?  Y. Ra. 
Ay, Sir! But I remember what Pains you took at Locket's to day to Cheat me of it: Chaw upon that, and then tell me whether you can blame me for what I have done?  Ma. 
O! not in the least, my Dear Hell-face! Thou hast obliged me to the last degree by Marrying this Lady here: The least I can do now is to settle my Estate upon thee, which thou shalt have with a vengeance, that is to say I will instantly make love to her Daughter, offer her my whole Estate for a jointure, cut off the entail, get a whole litter of Children, and disinherit you, you Dog!  Y. R. 
Look you, Sir, there I forbid the Banes, that Lady is now my Daughter, and I will not have my Family disgraced, by admitting such a notorious Rakehell for my Son-in-Law: In short, your pretences are utterly against my content, and I positively declare you never shall have my Blessing.  Maj. 
What a across Old Fellow this is now! Oones! I'd give five thousand Pound to make the Whelp my Father-in-law.  Y. R. 
Come! come! Sir, for a Great deal less Money, you shall still make this Lady my Mother in-law.  Maj. 
Ha! sayst thou, my little Jacky! why art thou not Married thou Dear Dog, art thou not Married, Ha! speak?  Y. Ra. 
So far from it, Sir, that upon condition you will immediately sign this Paper, which will entitle me to four hundred Pound a year during life, and at your Decease the rest of your Estate, I am willing this very moment to resign the Lady ●o you.  L. Ma. 
Base Man! you won't offer to sell me?  Y. Ra. 
Don't you trouble yourself, Madam, I'll warrant you. And to satisfy you, that my meaning's honest, the Writing is so Drawn, that unless you actually do mary the Lady you are not obliged to give me a Groat.  Maj. 
sayst thou so, my little Jacky? [ He peruses the Paper.]  L. Ma. 
Audacious Villain! have you served me thus: I will be revenged.— Here mayor! ( Gives him her Hand.) upon condition you never do give that Villain a Groat, I will mary you this very moment Gratis: Nay do but engage to disinherit him before to Morrow Morning, and I h●re immediately promise you six thousand Pound in ready Gold and Jewels, to satisfy any Extravagance you shall think fit.  Y. Ra. 
So!  Ma. 
Disinherit, Madam! Odsbu'd your ladyships too merciful! An Audacious Rogue! to think I could be such a Villain to wrong a Lady, Madam, of your unspotted Virtue! 'ounds! I never heard such an impudent Proposal since I was born!— Madam! If he were now at the Gallows with the Knot under his left Ear; nay, if the Word were given for the Cart to drive away, Blood! and Brimstone! I would not part with Eighteen Pence to Reprieve him.  L. Ma. 
On that Condition I am intir●ly yours  Ma. 
'ounds! Madam, I'll ruin him within this halt Hour, I'll drive your Revenge quiter through his Soul; nay, I'll sand for the two Mischief-makers of the Nation, the person and the Lawyer, and make them clinch it on the other side.  Lon. 
What the Devil! shall we do now, Jack! was ever such a Disappointment?  Y. Ra. 
Faith! Charles she has out trumpt me thats the truth on't: But I cant't lose all Man, I have Pain in my Hand still?  Lon. 
What do you mean?  Y. Ra. 
Her Son! her Son, Boy the Rogue has chosen me for his Guardian; He will be here presently, I'll manage him to fetch her about I warrant you.  Lon. 
Igad that's lucky, I am glad you are sure of a Trick to save yourself at last, in the mean time Jack try what a Court-Card will do, play your Impudence upon them.  Y. Ra. 
Mum!  L. Ma. 
Now Devil I am revenged of you.  Y. Ra. 
I fancy not, Madam,— I suppose your ladyship does not know these are the Writings of your Son Johnny's Estate, by him the said Johnny this very day stolen, out of your Cabinet: which because I am his Guardian, I will thus re put into my Pocket.  L. Ma. 
Monster! you his Guardian?  Y. Ra. 
At your Service, Madam.  L. M. 
You dare not tell me so?  Y. Ra. 
O! I have a great deal more to tell you, Madam, I must ha●e a Thousand Pounds out of your Hands to morrow Morning, to put him and his Wife into an handsome Equipage.  L. Ma. 
His Wife!  Y. Ra. 
His Wife, Madam— she has had as good an Education as your Ladyships Service could afford.— lettuce I think her Name is.  L. Ma. 
Undone! Undone!  Ma. 
Ha! Madam! What's the matter now?  L. Ma. 
O! My Child's ruined for ever!  Y. Ra. 
That's as you please, Madam.  L. M●n. 
What says the Monster?  Y. Ra. 
That your Son, Madam, shall not be ruined; provided you will promise me not to mary that old Fellow there, unless he signs my Settlement. In short, Madam, upon that Condition, I will not only resign your Son, and his Fortune into your Hands again; but will likewise engage to find a lawful Expedie t to disannul his Marriage too; which if you don't immediately comply with me shall be an eternal secret: So even let him squander away his Estate as he pleases, I'll make a shift to glean a handsome livelihood out on't I warrant you.  Emi. 
Nay, Madam, this is a very generous Proposal: Now if your Son's ruined, you are the occasion of it.  Ol. 
We all entreat for him.  L. Man. 
Madam, I beseech you don't name it: I'll not believe a word he says, I dare swear this is all shame, a poor Pretence o●ly to get his Ends of me.  Ma. 
Oones, Madam! You have nicked it: But if it were true, let me alone to manage him, I know him by Experience: Why, the Dog had the Impudence t'other day to ask me to lend him Fifty Pound, and in less than a quarter of an hour I brought him down to three and six Pence.  L. Ma. 
No! no! Devil! I will hear of nothing but Revenge. aside to Y. Ra.  Y. Ra. 
Nay then, Madam, it's time for me to provide for myself; here comes one I an● ure will stand by me.  Enter Mass Johnny with lettuce, and a Gentleman in a Parsons Habit. M. J. 
Tall, lall, lall! ( singing.) A hey! Where's Brother Father-in Law?  Y. Ra. 
ha! my little sprig of Lewdness, how dost thou?  M. Joh. 
How do I? why I am Married Boy! How should I do?  Y. Ra. 
Give you Joy, Madam! ( Saluting lettuce.)  L. Ma. 
What do I see? Undone! ruined!  Maj. 
Humh! the person there too! Nay then Mischief is not far off.  M. Jo. 
Well! but hark you John! how do my Mother, and you agree, what been't you Married yet?  Y. Ra. 
O Lord! Squire, no! nor am not like to be; she is just going to be Married to my Father.  M. J. 
Icod I thought as much! Did not I tell you, you did not know her? Did not I tell you so? look you Jahn there are two things she never kept in all her life, that is— a Fast day, and a promise! to my certain knowledge, her word is but wind, and Icod she no more valves to break one, than t'other.  Y. Ra. 
Well Squire! it shall never trouble me, as long as I suffer upon your account: For to tell you the truth, the real occasion of her Discarding me was my Friendly Promotion of your Marriage: But there's a very easy way to reward my service, which is that upon condition my Father will sign this Writing, you will generously condescend to choose him for your Guardian.  M. Jo. 
I'll do't an'twere ten times more to serve you: lets see the Writings, I'll do't Icod.  Y. Ra. 
There Sir! ( Gives him the Writings.)  M. Jo. 
( to the Maj.) Look you Sir! You Mr.— Mr. Jahn's father here, I don't know what your Name is not I: But if you think fit d'ye see! to sign this Paper, I'll make you my Guardian.— That's all I have to say to you,— so take, and look it over.  Maj. 
Let's see it my Dear Lad.  Y. Ra. 
Madam, I am sensible a word from you would finish the Business, if you will stand my Friend I am still ready to disannul your Son's Marriage.  [ Aside to Lady Manlove.] L. Ma. 
Alas! heaven knows I would do it were there but a Possibility of your making your words true.  Y. Ra. 
Madam! This Gentleman's Word and Honour shall be your Security.  Lon. 
Madam, I will engage for him.  L. Lov. 
And I.  Em.& Ol. 
And all of us.  L. Ma. 
Well! I find it's in vain to contend with him: Therefore Dear mayor, sign it immediately, and from this moment all I have is yours.  M●j. 
O Madam! a word from you would make me do ten times more; for the six Thousand Pound in ready Gold, and Jewels, runs in my Head confoundedly, I long to be at it: And as for Jacky, I reckon within four or five days I shall neck off this Annuity again at the Groom Porters; and so have at him. ( He signs the Writing.)— So! there Charles, ( Gives it to Longville.) You are engaged to see him perform Articles 〈◇〉 she keeps his word, much good may do him.  Y. Ra. 
Come Squire, are you contented this Gentleman shall mary your Mother, and be your Guardian?  M. Jo. 
Yes I be!— and so let him take my Writings, and pray don't' ce Cheat me now! It's for Jahn's sake I tell you that.  Y. Ra. 
Well, Madam, now to dissipate your Fears, in one word I must acquaint you, that your Son Johnny, and my Brother Elect, is not Married.  L. Ma. 
How not Married! you over joy me, Sir, make it appear, and you shall never want a Friend in me.  M. Jo. 
What a Devil makes you raise such a lie now?  Y. Ra. 
Prithee my Dear Squire don't interrupt us.  M. J. 
I will' terrupt you then, what do you shove me for? I be Married, so I bee! yes I bee! I bee! ( Raising his Voice.)  Y. Ra. 
Silence! Come Mrs. lettuce, pray satisfy my Lady, and this Good Company concerning your suspected Marriage with this young Gentleman.  M. Jo. 
Ay, ay, do, let her speak, withal my heart Icod! see! who will Prove the liar Mr. Jahn.  let. 
Well Squire! since I must speak then, I declare before my Lady, and this Good Company, that I neither am your Wife, nor ever will be.  Y. Ra. 
Now Sir, what say you.  M. Jo. 
I say she lies— she is my Wife, and you know it well enough, and the person knows it too: What a Rope did I give him two Crown Pieces for!  Maj. 
'ounds! I don't know what to make of this Business: One says ay! and t'other says no; Prithee Dear Domine put us out of our Pain, come Answer to the Question, are they Married, or not?  Gent. 
I must confess, Sir, at your Son's Request, I did Mumble over a Parcel of Words, that satisfied the young Squire, as well as if they had been caconical: But to convince yond, that it was not in my Power to injure him that way, I am no person: But his Humble Servant and Kinsman Ned Friendly.  ( Throws off his Gown.) L. Man. 
Mr. Friendly! Dear Sir, this was kindly done of you.  let. 
Madam, upon my Knees I beg your Ladyship Pardon, I must confess I had like to have married my young Master, had not Mr. Rakish's Care prevented it: But he soon convinced me, what an uneasy Life I must have expected from your Ladyship, and the rest of his Relations: But to satisfy you, Madam, That I never intend to have any Thoughts of him as long as I live, Mr. Rakish has been pleased to give me his Bond to pay me Forty Pound a Year during Life, provided I immediately leave the Town, and go and live with my Friends in the Country, which I faithfully promise your ladyship to perform to Morrow Morning; and so dear Squire farewell! Pray wish me a good Journey, as I do you a better Wife, and many happy days.  M. Jo. 
( half crying.) What will you leave me now? Are these your Tricks? Pray give me my Purse again, since you won't mary me, young Gentlewoman, you shall have no fine clothes, I'll tell you that! Give me my Pa●●● wull ye?  L. Ma. 
Sirrah, let her alone, That Purse you Purloyn'd from me, and she shall keep it: Nay, to reward her Honesty, I'll present her with this Ring, as an earnest of my future Kindness.  let. 
I humbly thank your Ladyship.  M. J. 
What! And so I am to be cheated out of my Money too! This is all long of you— Mr. Jahn! ( crys.)  Y. Ra 
Come! come! Squire don't be troubled, when you want Money, come to me; in the mean time hark you in your Ear: I have as pretty a young Wench in my Eye for you— She will be in Town in two or three days— Mum!  M. J. 
P●●a! What do I care for a Wench! If I can't have her, when I have a mind to it! Here I thought to have had such a Night on't now! and now the person has said Grace, you tell me I shall go to Dinner a Month hence.  Y. Ra. 
Why then, to stay your stomach, go with me to the last Act of the Play, and I'll show you one that ne'er denied a Man twice in her Life.  M. J. 
Ay so you say! But I warrant she will pluck me by the Hair, if I offer to meddle with her.  Y. Ra. 
Come! Come! I will stand your Friend, observe what I say to your Mother— Madam, your Son is sensible of his Error, and desires your Ladyship will take him into Favour again. And from this time he has promised never to disobey you.  M. J. 
No! no more I won't indeed Mother, if you will but let me go with Mr. Jahn to see the Play to Night?  L. Ma. 
Well be Obedient for the future, and no reasonable freedom shall be denied you.  M. J. 
O Lord! Thank you dear Mother, Icod I am glad we are Friends again! Lord! I am so glad!— Won't' e buss me Mother. Kisses.  Y. Ra 
So! Now I hope we are all Friends.  Lon. 
Well mayor! Are you satisfied that your Son has performed his Articles? Shall I deliver him the Writing?  L. Lov. 
O! By all means! Upon my word mayor he has deserved it.  Maj. 
Why the Dog has done something for't, that's the Truth on't. Tho' I will lay fifty Pound, I have seven to four upon it, before to morrow Morning.  Y. Ra. 
Well Sir! ( to the Maj.) Now I wish you Joy; and thank you for my Settlement, tho' it's an hundred to one but the World will think you have given it me because you could not help it.  Maj. 
Ay! And I warrant Jackey, they will be apt to say too, that thou art as well satisfied as if I had given it thee with a good Will.  Y. Ra. 
Ay Sir! People will out with their bold Truths now and then; but come Gentlemen, How shall we dispose of ourselves this Afternoon? What think you of the Play?  Lon. 
With all my Heart! And after that, I beg my House may Entertain us; where we'll reflect at leisure upon the happy Changes in our Fortune: But Yours, and Mine, my Lord, are owing both to the successess Wit of one inveterate Woman: From whence we may observe, that Virtue ever is the secret Care of Providence: Had Leonora been less my Enemy, I never could have proved myself so near a Friend: Her plotted Injuries to me, are now my Glory, and her own dishonour: 
And may the blessed Event this Truth Record,  
That Good a●d Evil Actions are their own Reward.     
FINIS.