DIALOGUE upon DIALOGUE: OR, L'ESTRANGE, No PAPIST nor jesuit; BUT THE Dog TOWZER: Shewed in a short and plain DIALOGUE BETWIXT Philo-Anglicus and Philo-L'Estrange.  Improbis ipsa nequitia Supplicium. Phi. Ang. 
HOW, now Name-sake, what's become of Towzer?  Phi. Le. 
What Towzer mean you, Sir? there are many Doggs of the Name, sir.  Phi. Ang. 
I mean the goliath Towzer, and the Diana Towzer, or because you seemed to like it in your discourse with Pragmaticus the other day, the Gogmagog Towzer, that once so roused and towz'd the Nation with his Pen, both City and Country, whorrying all sorts of People, and after whom the Hue and Cr● went, that he might be taken and Collerd up.  Phi. Le. 
O Sir, if that be the Towzer you mean, 'tis he that broken his Halter in effigy, and whom the Devil lashed out of the Parliaments way, whilst the cunning jesuits looked on, with Trouble to see their poor Bandog forced to hid his Head. But if I did know where he was, I should not tell you; it may be he is gone to Scotland for his friend H.B. had a Letter from Him the other day.  Phi. Ang. 
No, no, he is, I believe nearer home, and begins again to groule, and foist secret and seditious Pamplets, as he was wont, incognito, since the Dissolution of the Parliament. But since he is no Papist, nor jesuit, as you most learnedly have made Pragmaticus believe, why don't he appear as he was wont?  Phi. Le. 
He wont appear for reasons best known to himself. It is not for fear of such Fellows as you. But I hope yet to see Towzer triumphant: the day is coming, that he will appear in splendour, with a Whip at his tail, and a Bell about his Neck, and then you shall see your poor sneaking curs will run away with their tails between their Legs.  Phi. Ang. 
Oh! Oh! that is when Mack enters with the Popes Procession. When his Holiness his great to shall be enshrined in St. Pauls Church, and Te Deum sung at the first saying of Mass in St. Peters.  Phi. Le. 
For all I have so rationally convinced Pragmaticus, that he is no Papist nor jesuit, I see you still believe him one.  Phi. Ang. 
If I don't believe him one, there are many thousands that do: but as for my own thoughts I may keep them to myself.  Phi. Le. 
Do you think then that Towzer is of no Religion? what dare you believe that he is no Protestant? and not a better Protestant than the Peer that made the Speech● o homines! o morer!  Phi. Ang. 
Shall I tell you what I think? for since you say, I dare not think him a Papist, neither barefaced, nor in Masquerade, then I will think him a Luke-warm Protestant.  Phi. Le. 
A Luke-warm Protestant: what is that?  Phi. Ang. 
Why it is such an one as at this time ought to be spewed out, 'tis such an one that would conjoin the Mass and the Common Prayer, it is such an one that would Entail the Crown to a Popish Successor, such an one, that under the name of a Protestant would fain Crush to pieces all Dissenters: Such an one who would fain see Arbitrary Government flourish in England, and that almost hates the name of a Parliament: That endeavours to promote a Faction, and to set up the Image of Nebuchadnezar, and to make all men to fall down and worship it; one that ralls at Petitioning and scoffs at all appearance of Goodness and Sobriety.  Phi. Le. 
Hold, hold, you'l be out of Breath anon. Can Towzer be all this and no Papist?  Phi. Ang. 
Yes, yes, he is a reeling Protestant, only reeling towards Popery, but when the Altar is set up he'l fall flat before it.  Phi. Le. 
But Towzer says, he is a true sincere Protestant, one of the Church of England, a reformed Papist, and ought not I to believe him? Sure he best knows his own Religion.  Phi Ang. 
You may believe him if you please, but so long as he Barks Romish, I cannot but think, with many others, that he Eats of the Popes Bread, and if he be not of the Popes Religion, he is so much the worse to defile his own Protestant Nest; and to tear it almost to pieces with his Scratching Claws. A three is known by its Fruit, and we judge only of Towzer by his Barking, which is almost plain down Romish. Has he not whorried all the World besides: and has he not fawned and gloz'd on the very Plotters themselves, and their Adherents? has he not generally given occasion of Offence? I say, if he be not a Papist, he is then a very unlucky Towzer, that has set the whole Troop of the little curs of the Parish a Barking at him.  Phi. Le. 
Poor Towzer! I see there is no pitty among you: methinks you should not run a Dog down, that is under Affliction.  Phi. Ang. 
Affliction, he says, is the way to promotion: no doubt but he has generous Masters, that can and will pay him well for his Sufferings. We find he is the same Towzer still, and the Nation is so well acquainted with his Barking that they know his voice, tho they cannot see the Ban-dog.  Phi. Le. 
He has a loud voice if you can hear him out of Scotland.  Phi. Ang. 
He has a roaring Voice, that has been heard through the 3 Nations; and of late we have heard some of his new ●amphletical Howlings and Growlings since the Dissolution of the Parliament. Besides there is one Trinculo, a great knawer of Popish Bones, that used to Bark much against Petitioning, and Sir William Waller, now newly employed to sand about and spread all the Seditious and Libellous Barkings of Towzer and others.  Phi. Le. 
Who is this Dog Trinculo?  Phi. Ang. 
One that formerly hated Towzer, but now the Cause the blessed Cause, and the Popish Faction, the new Protestant Religion, the Luke-warm Masquerading Church-men have untied Towzer and Trinculo: And Towzer is a very honest Protestant Cur with Trinculo.  Phi. Le. 
Where dwells this barking Trinculo?  Phi. Ang. 
At the sign of the Popes printing Press, with a Kite made of the Cities Petition flying over it.  Phi. Le. 
Oh I know him now, he has been a sleep ever since the Parliament began, as if he had took Opium.  Phi. Ang. 
'twas mear Dog sleep: but now he begins again to Bark and is become Towzers, Machs, and the Popes Setting Dog.  Phi. Le. 
I see there is no dealing with you, you are far worse than Pragmaticus: but for all your Malice to Towzer, I say, I can prove he is no papist and no jesuit.  Phi. Ang. 
With the same learned Arguments that you used to Pragmaticus? Such convincing and knock-down Arguments? But they wont down with me.  Phi. Le. 
Nay, I will use others if you please to hear them, and just such pithy ones as Pragmaticus used to prove Towzer a Bapist and Jesuice.  Phi. Ang. 
I know you are good at building Houses with Cards, and then blowing them down again; at raising of Airy Giants, and then laying them on their backs; you learned this Conjuring trick of Towzer, 'twas one of his Master-pieces. But let us hear you. As for his being a jesuit you may spare your pains. Though a Married Priest and jesuit may be Dispensed with, witness L. C. M.  Phi. Le. 
Well then, I say Towzer is no Papist because he says so himself, and you ought to believe him.  Phi. Ang. 
Belief is an Art I am not Master of, unless convinced by Reason or Demonstration, both which has made me believe other ways, and many Thousands beside.  Phi. Le. 
Nay, if nothing else will serve your turn, I ●a● done wi●● you. But stay, I say then Towzer is no Papist, because his own Conscience tells him so; what say you to that?  Phi. Ang. 
There is something in that indeed. But he has described so many strange sort of Consciences, that I believe he knows not his own, and besides I have but his word for it; and he may have a lying Conscience for ought I know.  Phi. Le. 
Nay, If you won't believe Conscience, I know not what to say to you; for that ought to be believed before Oaths or Proofs, be they never so plain. But I have another Knock down Argument for you, and that must make you of my Mind.  Phi. Ang. 
What's that?  Phi. Le. 
Wh● Towzer has often barked against the Papists, and is a pretended Abhorrer of them, as well as of the Fanaticks, therefore he can't be a Papist.  Phi. Ang. 
Ha! ha! he! You have knocked me down indeed. There's many a jesuit has done the same; They can rail at their Friends, praise their Enemies, hug those they intend to stab, drink with you and cut your Throat, as well as being Priests, wear Perrukes, Swords, and swear God Damn me,— O! there's more than all this done for the Cause.  Phi. Le. 
But one Argument more and the Devil go with you, if you are not convinced. Towzer has been always Loyal to his King, and therefore no Papist.  Phi. Ang. 
Towzer says so, but there is a question if one can be at once faithful to the D. and Loyal to the K? But have a care what you say, the Papists will take it unkindly to hear you say a Papist can't be Loyal. I hope the D. is very Loyal, as well as Towzer, and yet he is a Papist, what say you now?  Phi. Le. 
Well to satisfy you and all the World, if you please, Towzer shall swear he is no Papist, and take any Oath or Test you shall give him.  Phi. Ang. 
That won't do: none of those Bones will choke a Papist; alas they can swallow them as easily as a J●gler a Knife or a Cup. They have cunning evading Tricks an Oath Legerdemain you are not acquainted with; nay, they can Die with these Oaths in their mouths, and go to Heaven immediately.  Phi. Le. 
I see you are an hard foul-mouthed Beast, such an one as Towzer inveighs against, that will believe nothing.  Phi. Ang. 
Give me but one Argument, in which I can find but any thing of sense or reason, and he believe you.  Phi. Le. 
Why Logically thus: Towzer is no Christian, but every Papist is a Christian; ergo, Towzer is no Papist.  Phi. Ang. 
By the French Kings garlic eaters, this smells strong of Reason, and here's my hand on't; I'll never call Towzer a Papist Dog any more, but plain unchristian Towzer.  Phi. Le. 
I am glad I have converted you, I never Dialogued any body in my life, but I convinced them at last: poor Pragmaticus went away the other day as well satisfied as could be, and no doubt but with my Arguments he will convince the whole Nation, at least the better and more learned sort, that poor Towzer is no Papist.  Phi. Ang. 
But to satisfy my Conscience, and the more to confirm me in this Opinion, that Towzer is no Papist, but a plain Pagan Towzer, let me ask you some few Questions.  Phi. Le. 
Ask what you please, I shall endeavour to satisfy you.  Phi. Angl. 
Why does Towzer still endeavour to turn all the Papists Plots into ridicule? and why did you( for you are his Scholar and speak his words) after your drolling with Pragmaticus, say, perhaps, some of those bloody things might be true? perhaps— t'was an ugly word, and looked like a Papist.  Phi. Le. 
Why, wont you give a fiddler leave to use his Fidle-stick? Touzer is so used to droll and jest in all he says, that he can't forbear: 'tis only his Humour; but, he made amends, and granted Pragmaticus, the Papists might be all what he charged them with, and the Authors also of the last great Plague in London.  Phil. Angl. 
There was a Jest: but, Let me tell you, Tho they were not Authors of the Plague, they have been of a worse to the whole Kingdom since that, by their damnable Conspiracy.  Ph. Le. 
I grant you that, but still Towzer is no Papist, tho he laughs at all those Plots after his way.  Ph. Ang. 
Nay, if it be only his humour: 'tis well enough. But how shall I know that Papists are Christians?  Phi. Le. 
Because we were Reformed from them, and because they are full of boils, Sores, and blains of Errors and Abuses; and are not Towzers nor Cats, nor Wolves, Dragons, nor fiery Serpents.  Phil. Angl. 
Very good, They are not those Creatures in specie, but all those, and far worse allegorically, as many poor Christians in most Countries can testify, and thousands of harmless Indians in America. They are Christians, I grant you, in nomine, but, in practise as far from the Apostles, as the Pope is from St. Peter, or the distance of Heaven from Earth. Therefore, if Towzer be not a Papist in nomine, by name, is he not one by Nature, or Allegorically?  Phi. Le. 
Nay, nay, if you run to Allegories, I'll leave you: I have nothing to say to Allegories. I say, the Church of Rome is Christian, 'tis no matter how: and I have proved it. And, that Towzer is no Papist-Christian, but Touzer, grinning, snarling, snapling, railing, and dialoguing Towzer, with a whip and a bell, with which he will lash shortly this brazen faced Age, this impudent Age in which we live.  Phil. Ang. 
Well, be not angry name-sake Philo: I am convinced, that Towzer is still Towzer, and so farewell.  
When Popes in England shall Successors shit,  
Sir Crack-Fart Towzer will be made a Knight.   

London, Printed for H.B. 1681.