MELANCHOLY'S BANE: OR, Choice, Pleasant, and Profitable RECREATIONS. Gathered out of many most famous and industrious searchers of Art and Nature's Secrets.  
BY EDWARD FOUNTAIN, an expert Artist, Living upon London-bridge, next door to the Angel.  
I've often heard, a Bow still bend, grows weak:  
And too much worldly cares the heart may break.  
Pleasure with profit, any one can brook:  
And you may find both, in this little book.  
If that it may your kind acceptance find,  
These harmless lines will recreate your mind.  
Printed at London 1654.   

1. How to make hair to grow.  
Take half a pound of Aqua Melles, in the spring time of the year, warm a little of it every morning when you rise in a sauser or such a thing; and tie a little sponge to a fine Box Combe, and dip it in the said water; and therewith moisten the very roots of your hair in combing it, and it will help it to grow long, thick and curled in a very short space.  
How to write letters of secrets several ways that can be read by none without this instruction following.  
Take fine alum, beat it small, and put a reasonable quantity of it into a little water, then writ with the said water, the which writing cannot be read, but by steeping your paper afterwards in fair water.  
You may likewise write with Vinegar or Joyce of a Lemon, or of an Onion; then when you would read the same, you must heat your paper against the fire.  
Moreover, if you, will anoint a piece of paper with Candle-greace, and lay it upon an other white Paper, than wright thereon, next open your Paper asunder, & strew a little Powder upon your Paper, and whatsoever colour your Powder be of, your writing will appear of the same colour.  
How to make Hair of any colour to become black.  
Take a little Aqua fortis, put therein a groat or six pence, according to the quantity of the foresaid water, then set both to dissolve before the fire. Lastly, dip a little sponge in the said water, & wet your beard or hair therewith, but touch not the skin.  
How to make a Candle burn in water, and endure a long time.  
Take a Candle and stick at the bottom of it as much Lead as will make it stand upright in a pale of water and not sink, and the said candle will endure burning therein a wonderful long time.  
How to take out spots of Oil or Grease.  
Take the Bones of Sheep's feet, burned him almost to ashes, then bruise them to Powder, and put of it upon your spots, and lay all before the Sun when it shines hottest; when the Powder becomes black lay on fresh in the place till it suck out the spots, which is done in very short time:  
How to keep Meat fresh and sweet a long time without Salt.  
Put your Meat in Flower, Meal, or Bran, and therein it will keep fresh and sweet along time, or else cast beaten Coriander seed and Vinegar on it, and it will do the same.  
How to make a Powder that will make good Ink in an instant.  
Take Gall and Coperas, as much of the one as of the other; beat this into Powder, mingle it, and put it into a little water, and on the present it will be very good Ink. Likewise if you strew of the same Powder upon white paper and write thereon with a little fair water, the letters will appear presently black.  
An experienced conceit, how to make Hens lay Eggs all Winter thorough.  
Take the tops of the Nettles, when they begin to come unto seed, and dry them: which so dried, give a little of the same, with Bran and Hempseed mingled together, to your Hens, and they shall every day after lay you an Egg a piece.  
To make flesh seem to crawl full of Worms.  
And to do this, take Harpstrings, and cut them into very short pieces, which strew upon meat, being taken hot out of the Pot, and those pieces will then move and stir about, like unto living worms.  
How to make Roots to have what proper form you will on them.  
To do this, take such green Roots which be big, like as be the Briony-roots, Radish-roots, and Rape or Navew-roots, and of any of these Roots carve and cut as you list, and after put the same into the Earth, letting it there so long remain, until the same carving be covered with a skin. And on such wise may you make the counterfeit Mandrakes, in fashioning in the Briony-root, as both Mattheolus and Cardane do write, the form of a man with a Penknife; and setting the same Root again into the Earth, with the head of the Root turned downward, and a little Barley put under it, which after will clear and hang fast into the head of the Root, and appear like unto the hair growing out of the same.  
To write what you list on a Steel Dagger or Knife.  
To do this, take an Ounce of Saltpetre, and an Ounce of green Copperas: beat these grossly together, and after put the same into a strong bottle of glass, distilling a water of it; which water use on this wise: First, take yellow or red Wax, stretching the same upon the Dagger or Knife, so far as you will draw or write thereupon, unto the thickness of a paper lease, and somewhat more; after, draw or write therein what you list, drawing or writing unto the Steel; and then fill that hollow drawing or holes with the distilled water, which within a day and a night will have eaten it sufficiently. And the like may you draw and do on any other piece of Steel.  
How to make a hollow Ring to dance by itself, a proper secret.  
To do this, take a Ring round about hollow, into which put Quicksilver, and stop the same fast that it run not forth. After heat the Ring somewhat in the fire, or let it lie near unto the fire, and being hot, lay the same on a Table or Stool, which by and by after will begin to dance of itself, until it be cold again.  
How to make an Apple to move on the Table: a proper secret.  
To do this, take an Apple, and cut the same in the midst; and in the one half make a round hole, putting therein a black Beetle, and so lay the half on the Table, and it will then move.  
How to eut an Apple into many pieces without harming of the skin or paring.  
To do this, take a most fine Needle with a small thread, and thrust the same by little and little under the paring, and thrust it in again right against the place, until you have so gone round about the outside of the Apple. And this also remember, that you thrust the Needle thorough the paring at straight corners one against the other of the Apple; and this so often do, until you come again unto the first place where you began.  
And if so be you would divide the same in six or eight pieces, then draw the thread again by a like distance, always taking heed to divide the Apple under the skin. And when you have thus done with the Apple, and the pieces yet covered with the skin, then draw out the ends of the thread and you shall after divide the Apple within, without harming of the paring or skin, into so many pieces as you list. And when you have thus drawn out, and taken the thread quite away, you may keep the Apple so long as you think requisite.  
A Pretty conceit, how to catch Fowl without a Net.  
To do this, take Arsenic, putting the same in water, and in that water boil Wheat, or any other grain, and cast the same forth unto Fowls: and so many as eat thereof, will not be able afterward to fly away. And take the juice of Gelidone, and infuse Wheat in the same, letting it remain there for three days: after, give the same to Fowls to eat; and such as eat thereof, you may after take with the hand. Also, take Wheat putting it in Wine-lees, and let the same remain there eight days: after that, put it into the juice of Celandine and Horehound, to steep; which so done, then give of the same unto the Fowls to eat; and such as eat thereof, cannot fly away.  
How to make a blown Bladder to dance and skip about from place to place.  
To do this, take Quicksilver in a Bladder, and lay the the Bladder in a hot place, and it will after skip from place to place, without handling.  
An excellent conclusion, how to put an Apple into a Viol.  
Hang the Vial on the twig of an Apple tree, and put a young Apple in the mouth of the Vial, and it will grow therein. And so ye may do with Grapes, or other fruit.  
To make fish or flesh seem raw.  
Take the blood of a Goat, or of a Kid, and dry it, and keep it from the air, then cast on Fish or Flesh that is hot, and it will seem raw.  
A new Receipt for a Cook, how with one Spit, and with one fire, to keep one Capon raw, the second to boil; and the third to roast.  
Provide a long Spit, and put thereon three Capons, Chickens, Pigeons, or what you please, (only three:) then make a long fire, and lay them thereto, and let one turn the Spit: Then, on that you would keep raw, pour continually cold water; and on that you would boil, pour scalding liquor; and that which you would desire to roast, baste it with Butter, and so bread it.  
A very useful secret for the making of divers Inks.  
1. Golden Ink. Take Crystal beaten, and temper it with the white of an Egg, and write, and when it is dry, rub it over with a gold Ring.  
2. Silver Ink. Take Black-lead, temper it with Gum-water, and write upon the black paper; and when it is dry, wipe it with linen cloth, and it will shine like silver.  
3. Yellow Ink. Take Saffron, and Argil, and temper them with Gum-water, and it will appear a perfect yellow.  
4. Green Ink. Take Verdigrease & Argil, grind them together on a Marble stone with a Moller: then temper it, & it will be a perfect green colour.  
How to make a sportive Conclusion with a Cat, by putting her into a small washing-bowle in a Pond, Thames, or other River.  
Bring forth a small Washing-bowl, and put therein a Cat: then shove the Bowl and Cat into a great Pond, the Thames, or other River, (in a calm.) When you have so done, manage your Spaniels or other Dogs that will take the water, or be apt to bait a Cat, and you shall have dainty sport: for the Dogs with their feet will turn the bottom of the Bowl upwards; the Cat being in the water, will still flee to her little Pinnace she first boarded, namely, the Washing-bowl; betwixt which will appear a terrible Sea-sight in fresh water.  
How you may serve a Tapster such a trick, that he shall not be able to froth his Cans or Jugs.  
Provide but in readiness the skin of a Red Herring, and at some time or other when the Tapster is absent, do but rub a little on the inside of his Pots, Cans, or Jugs, and he shall not in any wise be able to froth them for a long time after, although he would. This is a conceit to cousin the Tapster when he would cousin you.  
How to take Crows, Kites, Magpies, or jackdaws, alive.  
Take any piece of raw Flesh, or Liver of a Beast and slice it into small morsels, that they may swallow it: then take the powder or slices of Nux Vomica, and (making holes in the flesh) put it into the same, and lay it where they haunt; and presently after they have eaten of it, they will take to a Tree as soon as they can, suddenly totter and fall down; where you may with hands easily take them: but they will quickly recover again.  
How to find cut a delusion of the Vintners, in mixing Water with their Clarets and Whites, or Honey with their other sweet Wines.  
If you suspect your French Wines (as Clarets or Whites) to be mingled with water, (which you may partly perceive by the thinness about the verge or brink of the glass;) the best way to find out the delusion thereof, is, to put a Pear pared into the glass; and if it doth swim aloft upon the Wine, it is a pregnant evidence that the Wine is perfect, and unmingled: but if it sink to the bottom, then of a certain water is mingled therewith.  
If you likewise have any suspicion of your sweet Wines, (as Canaries, Maligoes, etc.) that they should be mingled with Honey; you may find out the trick in this manner: Take a few drops of the Wine, and pour them on in a hot place of Iron, and the Wine will soon dissolve, but the Honey remain and thicken.  
How to make a most excellent Water, which I always use to fasten Teeth that are lose, to clear the Gums from putrefaction; to cause them to grow if need require; to sweeten the breath, and finally to divert away the Rheum from that place, it being very astringent, and cleansing.  
Take two ounces of good White-wine vinegar, sour ounces of Rosemary flower water, Myrrh, Mastic, bowl Armenick, fine Dragon's blood in leaf, of each an ounce; Roch-Allum burnt, and fine beaten Cinnamon, of each half an ounce; a pint of fair water, and half a pound of good honey, with a little Benjamin; mingle all these together, and put it to boil for a quarter of an hour, skimming it well, then take it off, let it cool, and set it up in a Viol for your use: gargoyle your mouth well with a little thereof every morning, and before and after meals: I cannot extol this secret too much, having experimented it with good success to many people of equality, within this City of London, as I can justify.  
Of a vessel which contains three several kinds of liquor, all put in at one bunghole, and drawn out at one tap, severally without mixture.  
The Vessel is thus made, it must be divided into three Sells for to contain the three liquors, which admit to be Sack, Claret, and White-wine: now in the bunghole there is an engine with three pipes, each extending to its proper Sell; into which there is put a broach or funnel, pierced in three places, in such sort that placing one of the holes right against the pipe which answereth unto him, the other two pipes are stopped; then when it is full, turn the funnel, and then the former hole will be stopped and another opened, to cast in other wine without mixing it with others.  
How to draw out also without mixture: At the bottom of the Vessel there must be placed a Pipe or Broach, which may have three Pipes, and a cock pierced with three holes, so artificially done, that turning the Cock, the hole which answereth to such of the Pipes that is placed at the bottom, may issue forth such Wine as belongeth to that Pipe; and turning the cock to another Pipe, the former hole will be stopped: and so there will issue another kind of Wine, without any mixture: but the cock may be so ordered, that there may come out by it two Wines together, or all three kinds at once: But it seems best when that in one Vessel and at one cock, a man may draw several kinds of Wine which he pleaseth to drink.  
How to find at any time which way the wind is in ones chamber, without going abroad.  
Upon the planching or floor of a Chamber, Parlour, or Hall, that you intent to have this device, let there come down from the top of the house, a hollow post, in which place an Iron-rod, that it ascend above the house ten or six foot, with a Vane or a Scouchen at it, to show the winds without: and at the lower end of this rod of Iron place a dart which may by the moving of the Vane with the wind without, turn this dart which is within: about which upon the plaster must be described a circle divided into the 32 points of the Mariner's compass, pointed and distinguished to that end; then may it be marked by placing a compass by it; for having noted the North point, the East, etc. it is easy to note out all the rest of the points: and so at any time coming into this room, you have nothing to do but to look up to the dart, which will point you out what way the wind bloweth at that instant.  
How to roast a Capon, carried in a budget at a Saddle bow, in the space of riding five or six miles.  
Having made it ready and larded it, stuff it with Butter, then heat a piece of Steel which may be form round according to the length of the capon, and big enough to fill the belly of it; and then stop it with butter, then wrap it up well, and enclose it in a box in the budget, and you shall have your desire. It is said that Count Mansfield served himself with no others, but such as is made ready in this kind; for that it looseth none of its substance, and it is dressed very equally.  
How to make two Marmousets, one of which shall light a Candle, and the either put it out.  
Upon the side of a Wall, make the figure of a Marmouset, or other animal or form, and right against it on the other Wall make another; in the mouth of each put a quill or pipe so artificially that it be not perceived: in one of which place Saltpetre very fine, and dry, and pulverised, and at the end set a little match of paper; in the other place Sulphur beaten small; then holding a candle lighted in your hand, say to one of these Images by way of command, blow out the candle; then lighting the paper with the candle, the Saltpetre will blow out the candle immediately; and going to the other Image (before the match of the candle be out) touch the Sulphur with it and say light the candle, & it will immediately be lighted, which will cause an admiration to these which see the action, if it be done with a secret dexterity.  
A Cure for Corns.  
Steep your feet (the space of a quartar of an hour, going to bedward) in warm water wherein hath boiled three of four sorts of sweet smelling Herbs, as Rosemary, Time, Hissop, Spearmint, or the like, then pair a little of the outward hardest part of your Corns, having a care you cut not to the quick, then apply the breadth of your Corn of this plaster upon each Corn, and as much fine Leather upon that as will keep it from sticking to your stockings, continuing and renewing this plaster as need requires for a whole week, it will soften the very roots of your Corns, so that you may easily pick them out with the point of a penknife.  
An infallible way to take away Hair without cutting or shaving.  
Take unslaked Lime, steep it in a little water, then take two parts of the said Lime and one part of Opimentum, knead them together in form of Paste, apply of this Paste to the place where you would have the hair to fall until it be somewhat dry and no longer, then take it off, and the hair will come with it very easily; lastly, wash the place with a little Rose-water, which will both corroberate the place, and take away ill smell.  
A new delectable sure and easy way to catch Ravens, and many other sort of fowl alive.  
Spread Bird-lime or Pitch upon brown paper somewhat thin, then make this paper up in form of little funnel dishes, a little bigger than a Raven's head or any fowls head that you would catch therewith, let not the bottom or small end thereof be pierced quite through, then make little holes in the ground that such fowl frequents which will serve to prop up the said funnel; put therein little bits of any raw flesh, or what else you find such fowl as you would catch most greedy after, and you shall see rare sport, for these paper funnels will stick to their heads and blind them, they will fly to and fro and fall at the first thing they hit against ordinary; then if you be but nimble enough you may take them up alive.  
The Countess of Kent's cure for a stinking breath.  
The Countess of Kent's powder good against all malignant and pestilent diseases, French Pox, small Pox, Measles, Plague, pestilent malignant or Scarlet Fevers, good against melancholy dejection of spirits, twenty or thirty grains thereof being exhibited in a little warm Sack or Heart's horn Jelly to a man, and half as much or twelve grains to a child.  
Take of the magistery of Pearls, of Crabs eyes prepared, of white Amber prepared, Heart's horn, magistery of Coral, of Lapis contra yerva, of each a like quantity, to these powders infused, put of the black tips of the great claws of Crabs to the full weight of the rest, beat all these into very fine powder, and searce them through a fine Lawn Searce, to every ounce of this powder add a dram of true Oriental Bezoar, make all these up into a lump or mass, with the Jelly of Heart's horn, and colour it with Saffron, putting thereto a scruple of Amber grease, and a little Musk finely powdered, and dry them (made up into small Trochises) neither by fire nor Sun, but by a dry Air: you may give to a man twenty grains of it, and to a child twelve grains.  
Lac virgineum.  
Take of Alum four ounces, boil it in a quart of Spring-water, to the third part: afterwards take of lethargy beaten into fine powder half a pound, White-wine vinegar a pint and a half, boil it to a pint, strain both the waters, then mix them together, and stir them about till they are white. It takes away pimples, redness, and sun-burning, the face being washed with it.  
I have some things extraordinary, which I cannot communicate to any but them that have need of my help, and will make use of me. What I have writ here, is very good and necessary; yet know my manual operation excels them beyond proportion, in which I presume to be as expert in as any man in Europe whatsoever he be; as the approbation of some of the best Doctors of this age shall justify if need requires.  
I glory not in knowing or doing much, but in doing well that little which I undertake, and the things which I undertake are these:  
First, I draw out hollow Teeth or roots though never so short, with wonderful dexterity, facility, and ease.  
I make even smooth and plain, Teeth that are extravagant or sharper, longer, or ruggeder then the rest.  
Hollow Teeth that for some reason you would not have drawn, as the falling in of the check, or an invincible apprehension or fear, or the like, I can stop them so that they shall neither ache, putrify, nor smell ill.  
I have the best secret in the world, absolutely and infallibly, to make Teeth most perfectly white and clean, though never so black or rusty.  
Foreteeth that are lose, I can fasten very well in less than half an hour.  
I can set in Artificial Teeth so well, that none can possibly know them from natural ones.  
Finally, I cannot choose but convince their ignorance, that are against drawing hollow Teeth or roots; their common foolish objection is, that I do it more for my own profit then the Patient's ease. I say they may as well object the same against all other Arts, Sciences, or Trades in the world; for it is evident and clear, that the drawing of Teeth from others is as necessary for thein; as the profit is for me; by reason that all the Art in the world cannot make a perished Tooth sound again, nor hinder it from infecting the next adjoining teeth in time. Besides hollow teeth breed often a stinking breath, a canker in the mouth, and other diseases in the body, and their intolerable aching is able to make a body fall into a dangerous Fevers; all which inconveniences may be shunned by having such teeth and roots neatly drawn. Lastly, if it be true that it is good to take the broken from the whole, or that one scabbed sheep may spoil a whole flock, or that it is good and necessary to repair imperfections of nature with Art, than all that I have said herein is true, and so I rest fully satisfied.  
To conclude, as there is no man free from the aspersions and slanders of envious tongues, so I shall think myself sufficiently vindicated that the discreeter sort will suspend their judgement at the first view until they hear what others will say that have been under my hands, for I desire no other praise save what they can justly give me: and though some out of ignorance or malice, or both, cannot distinguish between an Operator and a cheating Mountebank, yet none can deny but that in all vocations there are some honest men, as well as knaves; both which I hearty wish may prosper, and far as they deserve, and no otherwise.  
I live upon London-bride, next door to the sign of the Angel, and am at home all the morning till eleven a clock, and from three in the afternoon till night.  
All Soldiers troubled with the  I will ease in courtesy, the poor for God's sake.  
FINIS.