The Happy Return of the Old Dutch MILLER.  
To the Tune of the First.  

[ 1]  
GOod People of England, I hope you have had  
Experience of my Art in my Trade;  
For I am the Miller that was here before,  
And ground Women young, of four or five-score.  

Then make hast Customers, bring in your Tribes;  
I'l quickly dispatch them without any Bribes.  
For I am so Zealous for Whiglanders Crew,  
I'l cure their Distempers with one Turn or Two.    

[ 2]  
And now( for your comfort) I am come again,  
To cure the defection amongst all your Men;  
Whether they be Factious, Stupid or Lame;  
Let's see e're a chemist that can do the same.  

Then make hast Customers, &c.    

[ 3]  
If you have e're a City that's troubled with Simples;  
That's over-rich grown, and has Rebellious pimples  
I'l strip it of all these defects in an hour,  
And make it submit to the King or the Tower.  

Then make hast Customers, &c.    

[ 4]  
If you have an Old Cripple that sits and designs,  
Which way to destroy the King and his Vines;  
Or if that his Tap stand in the wrong place,  
And piss above Navle, I'l cure his Disease.  

Then make hast Customers, &c.    

[ 5]  
In my Mill I will put him, 'twixt two Sainted Whores,  
Who shall raise his Rudder with help of their Oars:  
Between their warm Bellies, like Pug, he shall l●e,  
Till they suck out his Senses, and leave his Tap dry.  

Then make hast Customers, &c.    

[ 6]  
Then out of the Stew I'l hang him o'th' Top  
Of one of my Sails, at the end of a Rope:  
There in the wind he shall swing up and down,  
Till he caper and grin with th' best monkey in Town.  

Then make hast Customers, &c.    

[ 7]  
If you have e're a Fop that's proud of a String,  
And fain would aspire to the Throne of a King:  
Bring him to my Mill, I will presently show  
If he's qualified for a Monarch, or no.  

Then make hast Customers, &c.    

[ 8]  
If you have e're a Lord that's Pimp to his Wife,  
And to hid his Horns would venture his Life:  
sand Her to my Mill, ill venture a trial,  
To make Her as Honest as e're He was Loyal.  

Then make hast Customers, &c.    

[ 9]  
If you have e're a Slabering Lord that's a Fool,  
And sits in Cabals, a Kingdom to Rule,  
And stands for a States-man: I'll make him as able  
As ever a Helper in all his own Stable.  

Then make hast Customers, &c.    

[ 10]  
If you have e're a Lord that used to Preach  
I'th' Top of a Crab-Tree, above all your reach,  
And still the Lords Supper exposed in Lambs-wool:  
sand him to my Mill, I'll Reform his Skull.  

Then make hast Customers, &c.    

[ 11]  
If you have e'r a Knight that's Knave and threadbare,  
That deals in Neck-Laces, and such kind of Ware:  
And stolen the best Plot, now hides it in Bristol:  
Bring him to my Mill, I'll make him confess't all.  

Then make hast Customers, &c.    

[ 12]  
If you have, or had, any Sheriffs that are Whigs,  
That have cut off some Heads, and are cutting off Legs  
Bring them, and their perjured Juries together,  
I'l turn 'em all round in my Mill with the Weather,  

Then make hast Customers, &c.    

[ 13]  
If you have e'r a Doctor that has ne'er a Mouth,  
But a Hole in the place for a Nose, North& South:  
Put him in my Mill, it shall make him speak Sense  
Behind and before, like a Quaker in Trance.  

Then make hast Customers, ctc.    

[ 13]  
If He has been perjured Ten Thousand times o'er,  
And for want of employment begins to grow Poor;  
I'l make him as Rich( if he know his own Name)  
As when he came Mumping from Flanders or Spain,  

Then make hast Customers, &c.    

[ 15]  
If Forty Religions he dares to Believe,  
And yet Preacheth Blasphemy, Fools to deceive:  
Put him in my Mill, with more of the Grist,  
I'l make him a Devil, a Man, or a Beast.  

Then make hast Customers, &c.    

[ 16]  
If you have any Plots, either shame Ones or True Ones,  
Bring out the Contrivers, both black ones& blew ones:  
I'l either Refine 'em from all their past Ill,  
Or else I will strangle them All in my MILL.  

Then make hast Customers, bring in our Tribes,  
I'l quickly dispatch them without any Bribes;  
For I am so Zealous for Whiglanders Crew,  
I'l cure their Distempers with One Turn or Two.     

LONDON, Printed for Allen Banks, Anno Domini, 1682.