A PETITION From the iceland of SILLEY, Being in the West part of ENGLAND.  
Wherein some of their grievances and oppressions are laid open and manifested, together with their sincere affection to the prosperity and good of the kingdom of England.  
Sent by the last Post from the aforesaid iceland of Silley, in a Letter to some of their Country men in London, desiring to have it published with a general consent of the iceland of Silley.  
Wherein is expressed the state of the time, and the diurnal occurrences of this present age.  
London, printed for Thomas banks. August. 12. 1642.   

A Petition from the iceland of Silley, being in the West part of England.  
THat whereas we the Inhabitants of Silley being neither wise mens eldest sons, nor possessed of any great means whereby our wits and goodwilles should be held in contempt, have not hitherto dared for fear of derison to sand forth handfuls of our affections in black and white, or to make our tedious protestations and Petitions as the Leatherbreeches in the several Counties of England have done, though our intentions towards the King and Parliament are as clear as class, and more transparent than the obscure maligniry of those country Annimalls and quarreling Caveleires, men of great stomacks, better feeders than fighters: We therefore knowing that foolish modesty can never make us thrive in worldly favour, have joined all the strength of our wits together, and little enough to draw forth and describe the face and picture of our sorrows and grievances, and also in ample manner lay down the substance of our desires. showing first that we being poor innocent creatures of the iceland of Silley, that have no golden fleeces on our backs, whereby to tempt any injuries, nor have any Lawyers amongst us to pole our estates, nor any swaggering friends and acquaintance that will bee ready to borrow money of us and never pay us again, nor any detractors or backbiters to blast our reputation are like a people therefore much troubled in mind that wee should live unworthy of wrongs and injuries, which are so common and frequent in England, that neither the King nor subiects can escape the sting of malicious tongues, whereas wee surfet with content, never fearing any thing, no not so much as a Sergeant as many Gentlemen do in England. And now of late having understood by fisherboate that came from England of certain discords arising between the King and Parliament, upon what ground and small reasons wee cannot apprehended, so that the whole land is like to be divided into fractions for picking quarrels in the Church-windowes, we smelling our danger a far off, and out of a dear affection to ourselves, esteeming our lives to bee presious in our estimation, do therefore earnestly and heartily desire that we may dissemble ourselves together in a posture of war, and that we may have Bills, bows, arrows and spears, and all kind of murdering engines sent unto us, whereby wee may according to our necessity arm our corporal bodies, and if our enemies should appear in field( which we heartily wish they may never do) we may kill them seven miles before they come near us, and moreover we desire that wee may have some red terrible ill looking Uisard sent to us, together with a ship full of the strongest garlic so that having put on those scarefull Vizards we may affright our enemies with our very looks, and blow them away, with our strong scented stinking breaths.  
As for Bishops we care not greatly whether there be any in England or no, for our constitution is not so hot that we can endure none, nor our affections so could, that we cannot permit any, onely we humbly desire that all our Bishops may be spiritual Bakers, that they may make their bread of doctrine as gentle as Ginger Bread, so that old women may mumble it up as in old time they did their Pater Nost●rs, and we beseech these Ghostly Fathers that they would bee sure to fleece their dioceses, and to put in some poor scholar of Silley or some Silly scholar to be their Curate in some Country village, and moreover that they would never strain their voices to preach too much, and that never doing any good while they live, they may after their decease build a college in one of the two Universities.  
And moreover it is our humble desire that wee may be better acquainted with the new sects of Roundheads being so like to us the inhabitants of Silley, for all their doctrines, opinions and tenets which they maintain do all smell strong of the Isle of Silley, so that as the Papists do fetch the derivation of their Church from Rome, surely the Brownist and these Roundheads had their original from one that was born in Silley, for is not their mad kind of Preaching in Tubb● a silly Faction, are not their teaching against the back of a ●haire and ignorant instructing at a Tables end all silley ●nventions, besides their short circumcised hairs makes them all look like Sillyes, it is ourhumble petition therefore that they may all domineer in the city, and pull down Ministers out of the Pulpit and never troubled by the King or Parliament, because it doth appear by their mad actions, factions, and disturbances of the Common-wealth that they are a kin to the brethren to the brethren of Silley as well as of Scotland, and if they should lack means, which I hope they will scorn to do, the Silley Roundheads being willing to helpeone another, I would have such as be afflicted there to remove themselves,& not to fly over into new England, but unto the Isle of Silley, and I think it were a great happiness to the kingdom if all the Rounheads would leave England, and with one general consent go to inhabit in the Isle of Silley, that there they might exercise their silly R●●igious feats free from the censure of the world, and the trouble of the Common-wealth; who doth wish them all hanged on sign posts, we desire them therefore in this our Petition to pack up their tools being tradesman, and take with them their wives and children, and a Bible or two, and so the conduct of their revealing Spirit, pass over to inhabit in the Islland of Silley.  
Humbly likewise beseeching that the King and Parliament would not be dogged one towards another, but concur in affection and abominable love one to another, for discord doth bring forth nothing but murdering and Killing in kindness, and if our skin be slashed and cut, who can mend it, or who can borrow another of his neighbour? besides who would desire to have his eyes pushed out of his head with a musket bullet, or a piece of his skull sea●ed off with a Cannon bullet? therefore we desire waking, dreaming,& thinking that there may be store of Pease as there hath been always in the Markets, and that wee may live in soft ease, and content without and trouble, but not a word of fighting, for we the Inhabitants of Silley are men of weak stomachs that do hate guns and Gunpowder, and therefore we are willing to bee undone upon any condition rather than to have our dearly beloved bodies suffer the hardness of the warres; And therefore wee humbly beseech that howsoever discontents may arise, and some body may be offended, we name no body, yet in a holy and wholesome pities of our bodies, we desire that the noise of warres may be silenced, and peace generally throughout the land embraced, and no noise heard in our jerusalem, but kitchen Drums, that is chopping of pothearbs on sunday mornings, that so we may not be put into such fears& terrors to the spoiling of the wits of the Inhabitants of Silly, especially women of Silley or silly women, who near use to pray or bless themselves, but at the sudden report of warres.  
As for Militia, tis a word we understand not, unless it be displayed in the proper colours of displeasing and offending in contending about this word, sye upon such words, Militia according to the interpretation and desire of the Isl●ders of Silley is to set ourselves in a posture of eating like Hungarians, drinking Flemmings, and talking of Hull, Sir John Hotham, york, and the Prentices Resolution, which wee commend highly, and do think that there are some of the iceland of Silley that have as invinsible stomachs, whose knives nor swords would not be put up at the affront of a Barley pudding, nay it is kowne that wee men of Silley for want of knives have drawn our swords to open Oysters, what dare we do then to make honour wait vpon us? as she hath done some times upon the men of Silley or silley men, but in these times though we desire some what, we desire no honour we love our heads better then to have them fall off, for too much ripeness of wit and dignity, and therefore we humbly desire that our Petition may be accounted as it is the unseasonable and unreasonable requests of the subiects of Silley. Now that you may never know the conclusion of what wee would obtain, we will commit the rest to the close custody of silence, and not writ any thing more for fear it will be too much laughed at, but tis no matter, tis usual in these times for ignorance to deride wisdom, cobblers and Brownists to jeer Doctors, Rounheads to be wiser than square Caps, and conceited women to be Preachers, and fools to bee farmers sons in despite of Aldermens heirs. We therefore the Inhabitants of Silley last of all desire, that none presume to read this Petition unless he believe that the Islanders of Silley will stand stiff to all Declarations, Protestations, and Reformations as any of the Rounheads or Caveleires who are a thought wiser than we the Inhabitants of Silley.  
FINIS