THE VISION OF Purgatory, ANNO 1680.  
IN WHICH The ERRORS and PRACTICES of the Church and Court of ROME are discovered: WITH THE Influences they have upon THIS and Other NATIONS.  
Written by Heraclito Democritus.  Quicquid agunt Homines, Votum, Timor, Ira, Voluptas, Gaudia, Discursus, nostri est Farrago Libelli. 
LONDON Printed by T. N. for Henry broom at the Gun in St. Pauls Church-Yard. 1680.   

 St. Peter's Basilica and four figures, two with speech bubbles 
VISIONS OF PURGATORY  
St. Peters at Rome.  
Purgatorium  
Tantae molis erat Romanum condere gentem Suis et ipsa Roma viribus ruit.  In nomine Domini Cavete vobis Papa   

To The READER.  
TIS generally very long, good Reader, before the Author to you can hit upon the first Sentence, and the Reason is because he hath so much to say for himself, that he doth not know where to begin or make an end. For my Part, I shall only say what I think others will say of me: Pray then make Room, for here comes a Huge Lusty Fellow, who seems to be the great-Grandchild of the Colossus at Rhodes, who hath his Brains by Inheritance, and his Brazen-Face ex Traduce; and he will say that I stolen Poor-Robin's Jests out of Poor-Robin's Intelligence, and put them into Poor-Robin's Dream; But I will deny his mayor Robin, his Minor Robin, and his Robert by Consequence; and when I have done, I will Kick, Cuff, or Cap Verses with him for his for his Ears, if he have any. He will no sooner be dispatched, and carried off with 600 Camels and 40 Dromedaries, but I foresee an Enemy altogether as formidable, tho but a little Man; for he comes frowing, and will tell me very seriously that this way of Writing is Scurrilous, and Base, That 'tis with a Spirit of Sycophancy, or heresy, for that I scoff at Sacred things, That I am Guilty of Detraction, That 'tis a Libel. Good Reader, show me but how to make a Leg, and then I will do well enough with him: I will tell him that I scoff at nothing Sacred, as Michol did David's Dancing in the linen Ephod, or as the Fanaticks do the Surplice and other decent Ceremonies of the Church; for tho' the Surplice has no inherent Holiness in it, yet to abuse it is Impiety, as to steal it is sacrilege: But when Burying in Flannel must be Antiscripturian, and in a Monks Hood Meritorious, I think either of these Opinions as contemptible as 'twould be ridiculous to go a suitor in a Rug. I rather Pity and Deplore the Mistakes of the Church of Rome in things necessary to Salvation then deride the Absurdities of them, since I know that this way of Raillery, and in things of that nature, lessons the Veneration due to the Truth of them, and is one great occasion of Scepticism and Atheism, too general in the Christian World: I will tell him that I am not Guilty of Detraction, which as their Aquinas saith, is Denigratio Famae Alienae per Verba occulta. I Instance in nothing but what I have from their own Authors, from our own Experience, or from those Writers whom I thought unprejudiced, I do not quote them, because it is unneedful, and the Index Expurgatorius will have them. I will tell him, That after all, the Vices of any particular Persons do not occasion me to separate from this or that Church, but the false Opinions and wicked Practices which this or that Church publicly Authorises, and is the visible occasion of such Practices. I will tell him that I am not guilty of libeling as when Sanballat sent an open Letter to Nehemiah, Taxing him with an Intent to be King, or as the malcontents of England tax this King with an Intent of being an Arbitrary Monarch, as the late Rebels Libel'd his Father, as their seditious Preachers libeled the Loyal Clergy, after the Example of their Brother Campian the Jesuit, who does it with one unmannerly Noun Adjective, but without either Sense or Reason, and in the height of Popery cries out Quid Clero Anglicano putidius? But I must tell Father Campian's Executors and Administrators, that tho the Catalogue of their Authors be as long as of their Petitioners, yet they want some few things called Honesty and Piety, some of them want Learning, and all of them Loyalty. I need not tell you what the Men of the Church of England have Written, I can tell you what every true Father and Son of it will do, they will to the last Man oppose the Jesuits and all Romish Errors and Practices as resolutely as Father Campian threatens that they shall offend us, or Convert us after their way; for which, were there no other cause, we are justly Irreconcilable to the Church of Rome, both as Men and Christians.  
I had thought at one time to have thrown these Papers into the Fire, and to have taken Metrocles his Advice, and with him have said {αβγδ}; But since I have preserved them to show, that( although they have debauched our young Gentlemen by this way of Writing) nothing is so subject to be exposed as a Fool, a Knave, a Jesuit, and an atheist.  
If you and I, good Reader, should disagree, we will be Judged by the standards by, and since we resolve to be sometimes Serious, sometimes Merry, let us now begin, and do you either— and I will tell you a Story.   

ERRATA.  
page. 1. Line 2. for 1679, red 1680. P. 3. l. 12. for Ample Theatre r. Amphitheatre. P. 5. l. 15. for Purgitoria r. Purgatorio. P. 7. l. 14. for take r. took. P. 22. l. 2. for to r. may. P. 28. l. 9. for here r hear. P. 32. l. 15. for Council r. Councils. P. 33. l. 28. for mast r. most. P. 37. l. 7. for there r. their. P. 42. l. 21. for skulls r. Souls. P. 47. l. 4. leave out like. P. 56. l. 26. for Captain r. Capuchin. Pag. 59. l. 15. for Duodecaldrum r. Duodecaedrum. P. 62. l. 28. for Articlas, red Articles.   

THE VISIONS OF Purgatory.  
Anno 1680.  
THe great Solemnities of Easter in the year 1679. had drawn an infinite number of People from all Italy, and the World, to Rome, to attend the Magnificencies of that time and place: some went to procure Pardons, and Indulgences for themselves; others to redeem their Friends and Acquaintance from Purgatory. Some went to Earn, others to Buy Heaven, all of them to bartar a little of this World for a great deal of the other; so that the Bills of Immortality were mightily increased in most mens opinions, by the vast concourse of so many Devotes; that is, Religion was the great Business of the place; but for my part, Seeing was Believing to me, who went only to satisfy my Curiosity: At my first entrance, I thought the whole City had been in an uproar at Salt-Eel; until upon farther observation, I found them more in earnest, going in such solemn Processions, and doing such severe Penances, that the streets were slippery with so much blood as might seem sufficient to atone for all the guelves and Gibellines had  shed in so many ages; and did well enough become the grandeur of the Spiritual Jurisdiction: but among all the ceremonies worthy my observation, none occasioned me so much wonder, as the Bull of Excommunication, which from the Vatican on Maundy-Thursday, was pronounced against all schismatics, and heretics, Jews and Turks, Pagans, &c. that is, against all that dissent from the Romish Principles; the form of it was so dreadful, and the manner of it so Pompous, that in humble imitation of the last Trump, it seemed to concern all Mankind. For my part, the crowd and throng of people about me, with the astonishment and sudden thoughts, this last Entertainment had raised in me, wearied both my Body and Soul, so that for Ease and fresh Air, I retired to the ruins of old Rome.  
I sate down by the Skeleton of an ample theatre on the Banks of tiber, and began to digest those thoughts, which the circumstances of the day, and the solitariness of the place afforded me; but being thoroughly weary with continual travail, and so suddenly at ease, the Fresco from the River adding an exceeding pleasure to my repose, I began to let go my Sences, and unexpectedly fell asleep.  
But the deep and melancholic impressions the late transactions had fixed in my Imagination, suffered it to be so little at rest, that I dreamed myself into the agonies of death: my Soul upon its separation from the Body, flew unconceivably swifter than an Arrow from a Bow, and I became in an instant volatile, as the Sun-beams; I flew methought in Air invisible, as a Butterfly in the Moon, until by wondrous Intelligence, and an unexpressible power, I was acquainted that I was on my way to Purgatory; and that I had left the patrimony of St. Peter above, for that beneath.  
Altho the dismal apprehensions of death( which cause the greatest commotions in the Animal Spirits) had so disordered mine, that it was unusual that I did not instantly awake; yet my natural curiosity( which had carried me o'er a mighty part of the world to despise danger and ruin) did so well temper my amazement, that I was constrained to continue my Dream, which conveyed me to a place of all others, the least known to us living: and since the lofty industry of Man hath of late ages unfolded so great a part of the Map, and brought so great a Blessing to the earth, as the true discovery of its superficial Globe; I thought a voyage to those Wonders, which we supposed to lie in the Diameter of such a Mass of matter worth my undertaking; knowing that all the Relations in Legends, Trentals, Dirges, Masses, and in all the Philosophical Cabbala of the Roman Church, are as far distant from Reality, as the Reports of the Jesuits Miracles in the Indies, are from matter of Fact: 'tis true, this last Order of Men, have an excellent way of advancing the most Romantique Bantrum in the World, to an eminent degree of Probability; and can grow as rich by a Fiction, as ever the Poets were poor: They may without Blasphemy cry out, O quantum hae Fabulae de Purgatoria nobis divitiarum tulére! for these Spiritual Virtuosi have of late so cultivated, and improved those Regions, that they are the richest in the Universe and altho( according as they please, and other men believe) They lie deeper than the profoundest Seas( the common Grave of Mankind) or lower than all Mines, yet they yield more Treasure to the Apostolical Exchequer, than those of Potosi. Now you cannot but wonder what means should procure so great a veneration for a place which is nothing near so old as St. Pauls, no, not so old as Ludgate or Newgate either; for altho Pope Gregory the Great was the Author of the Invocation for the dead; and Eugenius the I. ordered Missals, yet it was not credited, as an Article of Faith, until the Council of Florence, in the year 1439. ( Eugenius the 4th, then Pope) I am sure it is not much longer ago since the more than probable opinion of the Antipodes, was confuted by an infallible Anathema. But to show you by what means this place is of more consequence than the whole Roman Empire came to be such; do so much, good Reader, as go along with me into a by-place, and see that no body is coming, and I will acquaint you instantly.  
It is no mean observation, that the Church of Rome retain some Opinions and Ceremonies, that have almost a parallel correspondence with the old Pagan Institutions of that place, and seem only to cover the Wolf with Sheeps clothing: and as among the Jews there were many who were termed Judaizing Christians from that Veneration they bore to the Ceremonial Law, so among the Gentiles too the new Converts could scarce forget the respect they had for the Heathen Theology, especially where it came nearest Christianity, in determining the certainty of Rewards and Punishments after this life; Now the depth of all their Mysteries lay in the great esteem they had for the memories of famous and beneficial Men that were departed; which their funeral Obsequies, Invocations, &c. abundantly testified before their Conversion, and the great care they take to preserve the relics, and Ashes of Saints after: so that that opinion which at first was retained in private by some,( and with good restrictions) was afterwards enlarged, credited, and professed by some Fathers, and later Councils( whose Writings in such cases are as Apocryphal to the Doctrine of the new Testament, as the History of the Macchabees to the old) that this is very probable may be shown from a late instance in the Conversion of the Japannese, who were so solicitous about the State of their deceased Heroes, that they along time refused the terms of Salvation, altho after their Baptism they gave as great testimonies of their Faith and Constancy, as some early Christians. Well then, after all, let it be granted that your Authors are able to prove it from the light of Nature, or the Pens of Heathens; that some Fathers have mentioned it, as St. Austin, and St. Bernard; and that the error of Origen added to it too: we grant, that to the words in the Maccabees, you give some seeming hints of it in the New Testament; That our Saviour never opposed it among the Jews: and that 'tis not half so difficult to prove, as the lawfulness of Murdering Princes, and turning their Kingdoms into Common-wealths: yet after all, the great and main Reason of this opinion, is the necessity of it to uphold the grandeur, and maintain the extravagancy of the Roman Church.  
I do not design to abuse or scoff at any thing that is truly Sacred in the Church of Rome, or justly civil in any foreign State: 'tis most unjust to injure the memories of the dead, and most impious to laugh at the state of the damned, but when men shall make that an Article of my Faith, which may damn many Souls, but is not Essential to the saving any; when they shall dress it up with ridiculous circumstances, and silly incoherences; when the Pope shall plunder me of my Loyaly to my lawful Prince; and this Doctrine shall endanger my Obedienc to God: I cannot forbear searching into the bottom of this design; and having found it, acquaint the World with the depth of it.  
When, I say, I consider, and find this Doctrine to be the great motive to most of the public villainies of this age; a Doctrine grounded on a mixture of small hopes, and faint fears, and consequently taking away the energy of both; I have a vast desire to let the Reader know it, as well as myself, in that impartial Description I am now making of Purgatory, and if he will have a little patience, we shall show presently: nevertheless, before I begin, it will be very convenient to know how natural and necessary this Doctrine is to the Church of Rome; which after that it began to decline from its Primitive Purity, and to exceed the bounds of the Spiritual Dignity, through the several infamous vices, of which, most of the Prelates have been so notoriously guilty, as to equal the most wicked Emperors: After that, the voluntary Donations of good Princes, were not sufficient to satify their Ambition, Covetousness, and Lusts; they took occasion from the ruin of the Empire( as many of them of late have done from the divisions of Italy) to lay the foundation of their uncontrollable Greatness in the West; and after the ruin of the Eastern Empire, to seize the Supremacy of the World; which they had laid claim to long before. But it being impossible to keep all the Christian World in Obedience to their supernatural Prerogative, without a Power and Dominion over the Consciences of Men: there was nothing could so effectually do it, as the making the Pope in this world the Judge of mens Consciences, by Confession, and by Absolution,( if the Pope please) the rewarder of their actions in the other: thus gaining upon the public calamities of the World, and the general Ignorance of the times; thus joining St. Pauls Sword in Commission with St. Peters Keys, and to their Canons, Councils, Leagues, Confederacies, Decretals, adding the Inquisition; they laid the foundation of a Babel, whose top was not so near Heaven, as the bottom of it to Hell.  
Nevertheless, this mighty mass of Contrivance had fallen to confusion, had not the Errors of the Romish Church naturally produced a sect of proselytes, whose Doctrines seem the consummation of its Monstrous Opinions, and whose Orders and Institutions are Essential to the maintenance of them.  
The Divinity, and Morality of the jesuits are excellent Commentaries on the Canon-Law, which gives the Bishop of Rome the Supremacy over all Kings, and Potentates; which the jesuits have confirmed, by showing most heavenly means to take away all that oppose it: and yet this is not sufficient, but they usurp the Dominions of the King of Terrors too; Death and the Grave are Tributaries to them: and they have sequestered a place beyond them both, commonly called Purgatory, a place of the greatest Importance Imaginable to the Court of Rome; for thither all the Courts of Repentance are adjourned; there all that pay not their Fines here, are Spiritually, or Corporally punished, until they are replevin'd for less; as is evident in that profound Volume of Pardons and Indulgences, lately Printed at Rome: and that which the Superstitious Mistakes of former times caused only to be Imagined; the great expenses Men now adays are at, make to be Really, and Sensibly believed. And that which was no body knew what, or where, is now excellently defined, described, divided, subdivided, in that curious Model the Cardinal Bellarmin Composed, and in other pretty Inventions of later date; so infinitely advantageous to the Jesuitical adventurers, that without it that Order of Men could never have procured the vast Interest they have in the World.  
I am forced to make this necessary digression, not only for your better understanding the Reasons of things I shall hereafter discover; but because I had a great way to go; for although, as I at first  told you, I flew swifter then an Arrow from a Bow, yet it was thus late ere I could get from the 7 little Hills of Rome to those vaster ones of the Andes in Peru;( those tall and sturdy Mountains, that subdue the Thunder, and swell into deserts above the Clouds:) no sooner was I mounted on the top of these exceeding heights, but that I was instantly thrown down a deep valley, so profound and dusky, that the Sun scarce sent thither any Deputy-Light; on the side of a Rock near the bottom was a Cave, whose entrance was obscured with a thick foggy Hurricane: as soon as I was absorbed in the Aerial Quag, I perceived my Soul rapt in Vehicles, whose grosser qualities might make me capable of sensitive punishments, with all my faculties refined beyond your Imagination.  
I was glad to see, feel, and understand myself again, but infinitely more surprised to hear at some distance, a mighty number of People, who all like the Pilgrims to Loretto incessantly cried, Ora pro nobis; I presently found them to be an Oglio of all Nations, Conditions, and Constitutions, who were all bound for the same place with me, methought I never saw human Nature in such variety at once, such degrees of Fear, Hope, Despair, Anger, Folly, that they all seemed to act over again, what they in their lives had done, both in public and private.  
The first sort I took especial note of, were a great many Zealots, who invoked the Names of several Saints; some petitioned St. Peter, some St. Paul, others called upon the strangest names that ever I heard in my life, nor can I imagine who they belong to, except the Indian Brackmans; some Freeholders of Nova Zembla, or some persons of Quality in Terra Incognita.  
There was a little crooked fellow, crept into the corner of a Rock upon his knees, his Cheeks were swelled like a Trumpeters, I got as near him as I could conveniently; but all that I could learn, was, that his mouth was full with the name of some Bombast Saint: he was mumbling it like a Cat in a Corner, but would not part with one Syllable of it.  
His reserved Humour made me retire to others, whom I perceived to be abundantly more free, and thought themselves very fortunate to make their addresses to Saints A-la-mode, as Campian, Garnet, &c.  
Others were mentioning great persons, as Emperours, Kings, and Champions; I was resolved to do at Rome as they do; and therefore with a Bongrace I beseeched St. Nero, St. Heliogabalus, and St. Julian; I had not thrice invoked them, before I perceived, that several( who were near me, and observed by the Calmness of my Countenance, that things were pretty quiet within) had borrowed my Tutelar Names with great Devotion, and mighty hopes of success; I observed in them a great alteration for the better, and for fear they should Pray to me too, I hastened forward; and overtook a Person in the Habit of a jesuit, marching very disconsolately. I resolved to make use of this opportunity, for my better Intelligence, and therefore in the most humble posture imaginable, Father, said I, your Reverence would Merit exceedingly, if you would assist us that linger behind with your seasonable advice: as soon as I had done speaking, he put a face o'er his shoulder, that would have soured Honey, one of the most sourly Aspects that ever I beholded, 'twas so venerable, that my hair stood up at it. Reverence, Sir?( replied he) a Pox on your Reverence; and then was silent for a time. I durst not breath for fear I should move him a little more; when on a sudden he held up his rest, And, Is this, said he, the Mantle of the Prophets? Is this that Immortal Buff that should secure me from all harm? might I not expect to be invisible, as well as invulnerable in it? To climb the Heavens on an enchanted Bromestaff, as soon as mount thither in this unhallowed Jerkin? Was not Jonas as secure under his Gourd, from the flaming Sun, as I am from the fire of Purgatory, under this mushroom-Capuch. Oh that I should put my trust in this most Christian turban! Could I think that to be butted in this habit would atone for those many Innocent's I sent untimely to their graves! For all those ruins, and mournful desolations I left behind me! Oh that I could throw those Robes from me, which like the Tunica Molesta, adds to my Torment! but tis too late to repent, or rent my Garments.  
He had just ended his complaint as a Capuchin who was very near, and overheard him, burst into excessive laughter; and looking earnestly on me, Is it possible said he, that the adorable Garb of a Jesuit should be cumbersome to this man? Can he fear any danger or affronts, whilst he is muffled up in this Celestial Livery? cheer up Sir( said He) there is some most accomplished Talisman against fire in these Robes, or some Secret fob to hid your most sensitive faculties in; Pray let me ease you by unridling the mysterious Intrigues of this habit. With that he turned up his Cassock, which was Richly lined with Silks, and so contrived for carriage with pockets, that it was difficult to find them all out; in some of them we found Agnus Dei's, Veronica's heads, beads, and strange relics in Tobacco-boxes; in others whole Comb-cases full of Indulgences Pardons, Commissions to Rebel, Murder, Burn, to be perjured in the highest degree,( and some other works of superrogation) with Love-letters, Assignations, Bawdy Songs, libels, and the Mass: and are not these Sir said the Capuch.( looking austerely on him) most excellent preservatives against heats and colds? Could you imagine there should be so much inherent holiness in these Garments as to secure you from punishment for sins, by taking away the guilt of them? Oh ye Charming power of new fashions! was there nothing among all the ancient Institutions of our Church worthy your respect and esteem, but the Rules of this order of men? Who seem to cancel all that is old in Religion( I mean Piety) and to make it all Ceremony and State-policy. 'tis now, continued he, that four hundred years are past since several Learned and judicious writers have endeavoured to prove the great damage the Church would suffer from instituting new Religious Orders among us; and forty years are scarce gone over since we have seen effected by the Jesuits alone, what they could not have imagined, such as do fatally forerun the ruin of the Church of Rome. This is Father( said I) what I can hardly believe, and their actions less aim at. Their manners do( said he) and their worse Doctrines: they will lose the hearts of the World as the excellent spirit of Cristianity first gained them; and altho' their Interest at present in it is great, and disproportionable to their vows; yet they will at last naturally contract that envy which is just to them: but besides all this they have shown themselves monstrously ungrateful to those Princes, who have been their best Patrons; they have endeavoured to ruin the Interests of the Austrian Family, who first Established them, for no other Reason but because it at present declines from its former grandeur: its true in the Empire of Germany, Kingdoms of Spain, and Naples, they manage the domestiqe concerns to the Princes advantage, so long as they are consistent with their own; and in the Jndias they are the best part of the Colonies; yet in Europe where the affairs of Christendom are in general debated( as lately at Nimmeghen, that great Mart of policy) they privately encouraged the most Victorious Arms, Knowing that they can best Reward them in times of peace, and bearing things fairly and Indifferently to the Eyes of the World, they will be secure and flourishing amids the ruins, and desolations of succeeding Wars; these things must in time open the Eyes of catholic Princes, and let them see that they are not so much obliged to the Jesuits, as to fortune, and success for all those services they continue to them. And since they manage an interest distinct from all others, and which they are obliged to prosecute, altho with the ruin of Cristendome; all wise men will soon see from whence those jealousies, and discontents arise between the Princes of Europe, and the first motives to those Wars that divide the Christian World. Tis true there were Wars and fightings enough in the world before there were Jesuits,( for it was formerly the Popes Business) but the Devil is pleased to think them the fittest Instrument now adays; for it is well Known what animosities they have bread in Poland, ever since they endeavoured to make that Kingdom not Elective: what Wars they have brought upon the Venetian State since the disgrace they received in that Commonwealth: in France they fomented the League: occasioned the conquest and ruin of Portugal: and procured the Azores to the Spanish King, and then most flourishing Monarch of Europe: They were the secret Incendiaries to stir up the people of England to the late unnatural Rebellion; and when they had done, they reproached that Nation throughout all the World for the unparellell'd villainy, and Murder of the King; and in their writings they pretended to abhor and detest what in private they most zealously prosecuted and acted: and indeed not only the King of England, but all Protestant Princes to be irreconcilable to our Church, tho' but for their sakes,  
Father( said I) interrupting him, I wonder that these things do not dispose the Christian Princes to serve them as they did the Templars, those Sons of Thunder vanished in a moment like Lightning, without any injury to the Church.  
Oh no Sir( replied he) that cannot be; their General sitteth so near the Pope, that he cannot fall without pulling him after him: for the concern of the Church of Rome doth now so far depend on the Court of Rome, and that on the Order of Jesuits, that whatever alteration shall happen to the one, must certainly reach the other; nay their General seems not only to have equal Authority, but to usurp the Title, and dignities of the Pope; he is frequently styled Christi Vicarius; the very second General of that Order Jacobus Laynez was by the name of Pope Julio the 3d. And if ever another of that society should be chosen they would more strictly confine the popedom to that Order then it is now to Italy: in the mean time they were bold enough to encroach upon it, when they Impudently demanded that one of their Order should always attend the Nuncio.  
There are other practices by which they will render themselves, and consequently the Church of Rome,( which Authorises them) odious to every particular man; and those are their abominable Morals; such doctrines of Libertinism as none but a Jesuit, and the great old Dragon, just let lose from the bottonles pit, could have contrived: for altho' such Principles may for a time find entertainment in the hearts of licentious, and debauched Persons; because they give a liberty of Sinning to any degree, by pardoning at any rate; yet the most Execrable Villains in Nature do as often question the Authority of their absolution from the Guilt, as the lawfulness of the Commission of their Sins; and altho' they are willing to adjourn their Penance until they go to the other World; yet they fear their reception there will not be so favourable, or their release so speedy as the Jesuits are pleased to make them believe: for they have contrived a Purgatory( to which we now hasten) which cuts out all the Dreams of the Jndian Brachmans, Mahomets Paradise, the whimsies of the most barbarous Nations, or the Dominions of old Pluto, either for the wonders of its Workmanship, or invention, or gain and Revenues; There they have whole magazines of afflictions of all sorts, and sizes, fitted to every temper, constitution, and condition; cruel twinging and corroding pains, which they can tie up, and let loose in an instant: and on the other hand most speedy, and infallible Salvo's for every aifflicted complexion: these do all excel all former inventions as much as the new Philosophy does the old, or any thing you shall hereafter see does Tantalus his Cucking-Stool, and all of them of exceeding value; for whilst poor chemists are sooty with groping for the Philosophers ston, they shine great and glorious on the Throne of Confession, and draw mighty taxes from those Rosicrucian Dominions: but they will not be long invisible to us, for we now approach a place of the greatest action in Imagination; there are all sorts of men busy to undo what ever they have done in their lives( as if the surface of things tho' never so secret on Earth were reflected on those fires, as the face of the Heavens on the Waters) Tis in that Place of plain dealing we shall be acquainted with all the Intrigues of the new Casuistical Divinity, which to human Reason are across purposes; its there we shall see the truth of things naked as the Soul at its departure, or the body at its birth; there are all secret imaginations, and private contrivances forced into public actions; all the revels of the mind; all the hidden Plots, and most retired and deep Machinations to Subvert governments, destroy Kings, ruin Empires, and embroil the World: the very Sanctum Sanctorum of Iesuitism: and in a word the most Ridiculously villainous Genius of these latter days.  
He had no sooner done speaking but we were diverted with a prospect through a delicate Cascade into the richest fields in the World, here is( cries the Capuch.) Limbus Patrum; mark how yonder apoplectical hero, freed from pain by a most wholesome palsy, stalks and grumbles for want of Employment; and is weary of his Quietus est. Truly Father( said I) I thought I had entred the Elysian shades, and I am sure I have red of this place in the Minor Poets. Then we passed by Limbus Infantum, a place renowned for innocency, as the other for ease: but our Business lay in neither of them; for that we marched forward through a narrow, and dusky passage between two Rows of Yew-trees until we came to a wall of great height adorned with a magnificent Gatehouse, o'er the Portal were to be red in Burnishing Gold these words: Orate Pro Animabus A B C.  
By this time a great number that followed, over took us, and the Portcullis being drawn up at the hours of Mass( to let those out who were to be released) obliged us to enter in at the same time: now my teeth began to chatter; and I expected at the first step to have fallen up to the Crotch in Snap-dragons; when to my great amazement we entred one of the largest and most beautiful Courts that I have seen, the Capuch. who observing by my countenance that I was disappointed of my expectation, took me by the hand, and smiling, wonder not( said he) that instead of a house full of fire and smoke you are come into the Jesuits college; for all people who expect any favour in Purgatory must pass this way: for altho' by their Orders They are not obliged to pray for the dead; yet they dispose of 
Hospin:  the greater part of the World who are bound for this place; they being not only the chief and most fashionable Confessors of this Age; but also considerable Officers in the Camera Apostolica  
And now we are here, these Gentlemen in their habit, and as attendants on him shall give us an opportunity of viewing the customs, and manners of this place.  
By your leave( Father said I) this place looketh more like a Prison then a college; for tho' tis Beautiful within, tis as strong as a Castle: surely these people will put our Souls into the Stocks, or nail our intellectuals to the Pillory.  
You have not so much reason( replied the Capuch.) to fear as they have, they know well enough that they have Enemies in the World, and therefore they are Jealous, and love to be secure: did you never here of their college at Prague, that was so well provided and furnished with all manner of Ammunition? and that other at Cracow in Poland, which the Turks thought to have been a Garrison of christian janissaries? But let not these things affright you, be bold and follow me.  
With that he mounted a pair of stairs which lead into a large room ore the Gate-house; I was surprised to espy a great number of grave Austere persons sitting around a table, in the middle of which lay a corps so mangled, that I thought that they had the man in the almanac for the first dish.  
What place is this Sir( said I) the Anatomy School? no, no( quoth the Capuch.) it is the Council of the Holy Inquisition; at the very name my heart beat a march to my legs, which would certainly have run a way with me, if I could have thought to escape so; but I was forced to take courage, and began to look about me: the Chamber was hung around with their famous exploits, which were their Murders in the Valtolin, in France, Germany, Spain, and Italy: their Massacres in several parts of the Earth; but their wonders in America took up a whole side of the room; there was a voided place for britain; but their design was not yet finished: so that here was the Map of the World deluged with Blood.  
I went to a great Chest, which was filled with sundry Rarities, as Carabins, Pitchforks, brimstone, and fire; but one thing I took great notice of, and that was a Coin of Pope Gregories the 13th with this Motto Strages Ugonothorum; as currant Money as that with which the Spanish mastiffs were solemnly paid for Hunting, and Killing the poor Indians. Whilst I was viewing these things 7 or 8 Rich men were recommended to fire and faggot for no body knows what, when, or where, by an Order from the Inquisition.  
We were pretty well satisfied with what we had seen in this place, and retiring, I espied o'er the door the Banner of the Inquisition: The Coat was the Popes, and King of Spains Arms; and are these( said I) the Insignia of this powerful jurisdiction which bares such a sway in the World? The four ancient Monarchies of which were described by four Monsters: but this truly Fifth Monarchy can never be represented, nor can any disharmonious Union in Nature Emblematize that power that endeavours the Corruption of Grace: surely this is another Pagan ordinance; the dead seem all alive as in the Hades of Homer, but cannot sentence the Living, except they drink human Blood, which is the life of man: all of this Council were of a pale, and yellowish complexion; looked with ghastly Visages, as if some secret flamme had burnt their Entrails; and were continually tormented with the anguish of a wrathful mind and Tyrannous Enclinations mixed with zeal, which made them look like the Heaters of the fiery furnace; and and if Intemperance translated Ulysses his men into Swine, these had the faculties of mad dogs.  
We passed from them through an antechamber into a stately Combination room, which was filled with no better Company; for altho' they sat with Countenances so demure, as if their hearts had been busied with the best thoughts that can enrich the Soul of man; yet when I perceived the furniture of the table, which was Bell, Book and Candle; and among them Escobar, Lessius, Molina and Campian, I no longer doubted their concerns, nor needed I; for in that instant Campian stood up; and since( said he) your reuerences cannot but Know, that in my Epistle to Queen Elizabeths Privy Council, Printed in the year 1583 I have thus declared; That as touching our Society, be it known unto you; that we have a League all the Jesuits in the World, whose succession and multitude must overeach the Practise of England, cheerfully to carry the across which God shall lay upon us; and never to despair your recovery so long as a man of us remain to enjoy your Tyburn &c.( and Creswell said the same) it is in vain for us any longer to palliate our pretences; and altho' the Councils of Constance, and of Spain, the Sorbon college upon the Murder of Henry the Fourth seem to condemn this practise upon particular accounts, and to temporize with some difficulties; yet the Doctrine of those Authors do abundantly confirm it( with that he pointed to aside-board-table that was loaden with a vast number of folios containing the Canons, Council, Decrees, Bulls, Excommunications, and several Murdering Ordinances and Injunctions of the Roman Church) so that( continues he) I Know not whether we have been more successful in smothering or undertaking after discovery, or admireable in the contrivance of them; yet in this last design upon England we shall engage as many testimonies against us, as in all our practices against Queen Elizabeth, and King James, since managed by as many as those altogether; and yet we must still prosecute according to our universal assent and consent for the Future. At the end of this sentence, all the Fathers unanimously stood up: and laying their hands on their breasts, did in most solemn manner renew their vows of Fidelity, and Secrecy.  
I began to look upon them with some esteem, thinking that men of their parts and Learning would not be so solemnly engaged upon Trivial accounts, or be rashly concerned in a Business to which they had no fundamental Right. And therefore turning to the Capuch. Father( said I) It seemeth strange to me that these men, who are born the subjcts of different Princes, between whom there have lately happened mortal, and bloody Wars; and between whose parents and Relations there has always been a different Humour and National Antipathy, I say 'tis strange to me that these men should so hearty, and unanimously agree in the same opinions, and practices. Pray tell me, is Zeal, or interest the Cement of this Society? Truly Sir, replied the Capuch. These two things put together make the mast accomplished Jesuit; for you must understand that the Novices are brought up under such strict rules of obedience to their superious, that 'tis no wonder that they can so easily forget Father, and Mother, and their duty to their Prince, and Country. Then they have such impressions of esteem and value for their Fathers fixed in their minds from their youth, that when they arrive to the highest preferments, and their Reasons to the best improvements, their Iudgments can never blot out those Characters so long stamped in their Memories, so that 'tis no wonder that they teach others, and practise themselves what they were taught. And this is the reason that they are so ready, and officious to instruct the youth, because by that means they shall engage the generality of men to a good opinion of them.  
Now altho' those who are admitted into their society, take a vow of perpetual poverty, and resign their property, yet 'tis all to their own Comunitie, from whence they again receive all the conveniences of life, without those cares that attend those that stand on their own legs, or fall by themselves. There are many of the seculars among them, who are employed in several Trades, and altho' they must give an account to the Society; yet 'tis their sufficient Interest to be thus Employed, for in the mean time they live, and enjoy the comforts of life to what degree they please; and altho' they may fear the Hangman, shall never need to fear their Creditors: as for example, suppose( what was very true) that one of them Keep a Tavern in London, first he is supplied with a good stock, then with good intelligence from the Vintages; and 'tis a very hard case if he have not good custom from his own order, who may occasion much money to be spent there by their too numerous acquaintance; to be short, they all move in the highest sphere of Ambition in the World: for to be Captain in an Army, wherein all Europe might be Engaged against the Turks, shall not so much encourage a man to show his valour, and conduct, as it shall move a man to show his obedience and parts to an order of men composed of all Nations, for whom he hath so great veneration, and who seem to fight all the Interests in the World: this make them the say, as in Salomon, Come with us, cast in thy lot among us, we will all have one purse: this makes the greatest villainies, that may promote their Interst, seem the most glorious Atcheivments: this makes them venture their Lives madly, like the Circumcelliones, and die desperately beyond Example.  
We went down a pair of backstairs into a stately cloister, which lead directly to a chapel Extraordinarly adorned with rich Plate, lively Hangings, and something resembling the Jesuits Church at Antwerp; but I took especial notice of the Effigies of several Persons, who in all History do seem to me as ill villains as any that are mentioned in the vast Catalogue of memorable mankind, and might as ill become such a place as Judas, there were the Portraitures of Ravilliac, Jacob Clemens, and of several other Assassins, whom success in their designs had made as infamous, as their punishments remarkable: but here their memories seemed somewhat more precious, for they were mounted above the Clouds on the wings of Angels, and crwoned by Cherubims with wreaths of Light: over against them were the resemblances of those unfortunate Princes, who fell by there wicked hands, but were more rudely used by the Painters. whilst I was viewing them, my Ears were as much surprised with a consort of Flutes, Tabors, loud Bagpipes, and such sorts of oriental music, as use to set the Turks and Tartars together by the Ears: I expected some sacred Masquerade, such as the Jesuits( who have well red men) do now a days oblige the world with; or such as the Church of Rome, formerly used( for there was a Church in Florence Burnt down with that 
Mach. Hist.  fire that was made to represent the descent of the Holy Ghost) but I was mistaken; for there entered between two sour ill looked worm-eaten Jesuits, a fellow so terribly Grim and stern, that there wanted only the sign of the wild-man to represent him too.  
Truly I was a little fearful at the first, and my hair stood up to compliment his; he had a stiletto in his right hand, and the Mass in his left; so that I shunned him, and drawing towards the Capuch. Father( said I) it seems strange to me, that this fellow, being possessed, and coming hither to be exorcized, should be suffered to bear such a weapon in his hand. Oh Sir!( replied he) you mistake the business, this fellow comes not hither to have one Devil taken from him, but to have several Legions put into him; the Jesuits are now entering this man, and with more subtle arguments then ever the old Serpent invented, do prompt him to Sin against the light of nature, without any motives to real, or seeming Good: he is now instructed to destroy the person of a great King, without any hopes of escaping the punishment due to such a villainy, and how they reward him in Purgatory you shall understand by and by; 'tis true thirty thousand Masses were an Apostolical donation, but you will find them as Insignificant as an Eclogue of Virgil, or two staves of the catholic Ballad.  
The dreadful circumstances of instructing this parricide, filled me with horror, and amazement; and the solemn manner of consecrating the weapons, wherewith he was to give the fatal Blow, seemed to add a wondrous Impiety to their malicious, and diabolical designs; and altho' I well enough knew, that after all their pretences of charity and piety, yet they aim at nothing less then an unlimited power, and greatness; yet I did little think they should ever endeavour to attain it by such Maxims; by doctrines ten thousand times more villainous then the Alcoran, which the Natural barbarity of the cannibals never taught them; and the Hang-man of Scythia would have burnt at the stake; by doctrines so cowardly base and barbarous, that Sergius seemed a Saint to the Devil Ignatius, whose undivine motto was, Cavete vobis Principes. These reflections made me turn to the Capuch. and ask him what particular Reasons do move the Jesuits to prosecute all Christain Princes, and especially the King of England? I( said I) know the Cannons of Rome long before the Order of Jesuits did abundantly instruct the Papists to these practices, and most of the Christian World have felt the effects of them; but the English have the most reason to know them, from the frequent and notorious villainies practised in that Kingdom.  
You put me now upon a question( said I) which I should not resolve, were I the person my garb denotes me; but waving this until another occasion; The Order of Jesuits seem to be raised by the Pope, in opposition to the happy Reformation, which was not perfected before they began to stir abroad; and they have incessantly amnoyed you in several undertakings, which all your Historys from that time to this day mention, besides in many things not generally Known.  
The revolt of so noble a Kingdom as England, from the Roman yoke, exceedingly grieved his holiness, who immediately sent out his new instituted Ianisaries to reduce that Province; but they in short time overawing their Grand signor, were far more inclined to that expedition from the hopes of improving their own Interests, and the greatness of their Order, which according to their rules, is to be preferred before the safety of Christendom; now there is no place so convenient to overlook it as England, which doth balance all Europe, and hath in the last Ages given a check to the dangerous Growth of any one people, it would be very advantageous to settle in that Kingdom for their public concerns: but besides they would soon procure great Revenues, and privilidges from the Inhabitants, of whom they of the Roman Religion, are the Jesuits friends, and few of them Jansenists, or unreformed catholics: and that is another motive, for eversince their first attempts upon England in the days of Queen Mary, they quarreled all other Priests, who had brought in Popery, and endeavoured to turn them out; and in a late dull Pamphlet, entitlued Iansenia, they seemed jealous that their quarrel in France might endamage them in England: 'tis true they used some other Priests, and seculars in the late Plot, but it was upon necessity.  
Another Reason of their wicked Industry is, the facility of perfecting their attempts from the divisions, and animosities among the people( for what resolutions can be expected in them who are divided by so many new and various Enmities?) they occasioned the late Civil Wars, and altho' they did not work to that end they intended them, yet they thought they had more effectual means now from the increase of Roman catholics, from the inveterate hatred all other sects show to the Government both in Church and State.  
There are another sort of Persons, they are very intimate with all, and they are the Atheists and Libertines; the one managed by their excellent Doctrine of Demonstration, the other by that of Probability, pretty discipline for them whose skulls are of the complexion of the five Dutch senses: the one have scarce the goodness to be ambitious, and both so drowned in their lusts, and indifferent to Religion, that they will never die in defence of a Government; to the preservation of which, the Articles of our Church are so essentially Necessary: Now the only difficulty the Jesuits stick at, is to be certain that they are favoured by that Prince, whose assistance they require in the recovery of that Kingdom. The Spanish Kings are the true sons of the Roman Church, and consequently their Chief Patron; they were styled in the days of Philip the Second no less then Apostles( as were Manes his 12 disciples) so they had a powerful influence upon that Prince to move him to an invasion which proved unsuccessful; since so mighty a power was so easily, defeated nothing less than the most victorious Arms of Europe must make the second venture; and therfore the F: K. must be moved to this Expedition; the great, and chief motives to which, are their own Interests, and not either love or Loyalty to any foreign State, or Zeal to the Roman Church.  
The Capuch. having ended his discourse, backned to me to follow him; and so I did through a dark Alley, which lead to a little Brason-Gate, through which after we had descended eight or ten steps, we entred into a large Vault directly under the Chapel; at the first I could not well tell whither I felt the could or darkness of the place; but immediately after I espied a Table, as I thought just under the high Altar, covered with a Crimson Carpet, distaind with black Scorpions, Spiders and Toads, and set out with Six dim tapers; by the light I then perceived the arch of the Vault to be enammel'd with the Devils hand writing, which contained the names of several Conjurers, done with the flamme of a Candle: at some distance from the table were seated in strange Habits, and with Cloudy looks, several modern Devil-mongers, who came to assist at the Blackest Ceremonies in the Church of Darkness.  
Among them the most remarkable was Pope Paul the Third, who excommunicated Henry the Eighth, altho Pope Julio his predecessor would have transferred to him the Title of Most Christian. I say, that Pope Paul the Third, who to his other Impietys added the abominable Sin of Necromaneis, so far was the head of the R. C. from keeping the Commandments of God, that he had more Devils than one: He was here seated in a Chair of State, crossleg'd for good luck; the place looked like an Indian Pagode, into which there now entred a tall, slender Jesuit, in a rob made of the skins of Embrio's, and the great old Dragon for a Crest to his cornered Cap; who marching towards the Table, and kneeling down, began to invoke several wicked Spirits, and the Ghosts of famous Wizards. When he had done, he sacrificed the fore-skins of janissaries, with an Offering of Snapdragons; and then arising, he drew a circled of Wild-fire about him, and holding a Snake in his Right hand, he spake these Lines in a hollow and murmuring Voice,  

Now all the Daemons of the Air  
Of England's ruin do despair;  
The Influence of sullen Stars,  
And foreign and domestic Wars  
Have done their worst:   

And the destroying Angel too  
Hath done what death's Imperial Sword can do,  
To make that people more accursed,  
With Plagues, and Jesuits, Fire, and Sword, have gone,  
To work out Britain's great Confusion;  
With them the Vices of the Age combine,  
And carry on the great design:   

But all the Powers of darkness cannot do,  
The Nations Guardian Angel is our foe.   

II.  
Forth from the dark Abyss of fate,  
From the deep Conclave of Hells state,  
I now invoke these elder Evils,  
The last reserves of fighting Devils;  
Daemons without head or tail,  
Daemons of Fanaticism rise,  
In various forms, and wondrous wise;  
You only can prevail,  
You never fail.   
After a little pause there appeared the How Do ye, or The present State and Genius of Fanaticism; but in such a miscellany of Garb, that Hobbs in ten miles riding could never patch together such incoherencies; he was the great hieroglyphic of Jesuitism, Puritanism, Quaquerism, and of all Isms from Schism; he had on his head a Broad-brimm'd hat, like a Quaker, only the Crown was out, which discovered that he was shaved; his face was a medley of tempers; he seemed to cry, laugh, talk, spit, snivel, all in a wind, and he looked like the Compass; he was up to the arm-pits in a Tub, which reached down to his ankles, one of his feet was cloven, and from the cleft went this Motto, Divide& Impera; but one thing I took especial notice of, and that was a Label from his mouth, containing these words, We have a Law, and by our Law he ought to die, because he maketh himself a King.  
All the assembly made their respects to this Apparition; and the Conjurer having done his Ceremonies, spake as followeth.  

To Thee, most powerful Genius, are we come  
On embassy from thy Confederate Rome;  
The last of times Commands us both to join,  
To Judge, Condemn, and Kill our foes, and thine:  
No difference can be shown 'twixt us and Thee,  
So long as[ non-sense understood] agree  
With[ fallible Infallibility.]   

Long our unwieldy means, and vast designs,  
Bigger than Mountains, deeper than the Mints,  
Have proved but uneffectual trifling toys,  
But Womens valour, stratagems of Boys;  
When you from little undiscovered things  
destroyed 3 Kingdoms, and unthron'd two Kings:  
Thou didst them to such civil wrath dispose,  
They had triumphed,  
If only all the World had been their foes.  
Go, and once more let thy tempestuous Zeal  
Thy power in them to all mankind reveal;  
Great pestilence of the mind, we trust in Thee,  
Maggot of Conscience, true Lycantropy;  
Let them to real Wolves, and lions turn,  
Whilst they with ignorant indignation burn;  
Be only men by knowledge of their force,  
Like monstrous Tartar make them man, and horse:  
So they'll conclude the Worlds great Tragedy,  
And metamorphosed from Humanity,  
Be Cadmus's or the Serpents strange posterity:  
For as mad men do their own lives annoy,  
So bodies politic themselves destroy.  
Let natures Wars destroy those babes of Grace,  
As Angels fell in battle from their Place.  
No need of more anathemas from Rome,  
All will be Anti-popes, and sanctify each others doom.   
These words were no sooner ended, but the Poetical Conjurer was rapt up in Flames, crackled like bays, and Himself, and Audience, and all disappeared; so that we were left in the dark; and feeling our way out, I was astonished with a strange noise, as if briareus had been at Hotcockles with all his hands. I asked the Capuchin what was the meaning of this noise, who  told me, that if I was a Novice among them, I should soon know, for that next to this Vault was another, where they punish the Novices by terribly affrighting them; and with such severe Bastinadoes that some of them never come out alive again, which made me hasten away with all speed imaginable: as soon as I thought myself out of danger, I began to reflect on what I had seen. I was strangely surprised to find Pope Paul the Third in such wicked Circumstances, which made me tell the Capuchin, that although the Jesuits Morals might easily convince a man of their practices; yet I mightily wondered that the Popes, who are elected from among the Inhabitants of the greater part of Christendom to be Head of the Church, should ever be guilty of such Vices, as they are commonly charged with; that a man who is to sit in the eyes of all the World, and in a Place to which neither Honour, nor Riches, nor any thing else, but the most excellent spirit of a perfect Christian, should advance him, with the consent of such a number of rare Understandings as are to assist him; that he should sometimes prove the Monster of the Age, is the Mystery of iniquity to me.  
To you Sir, replied the Capuchin, can he appear any otherwise to you, since he is your mortal Enemy, so long as you deny his Supremacy; which perhaps your judgement is not directed to allow of?  
Good Father, replied I, mistake me no; for 'tis not because the Pope thinks me an heretic( and therefore would infallibly Carbinado me, if he could catch me) that I consequently think him an Adulterer; and although Pope John the Twelfth was a great one, I never red that he sent his Nuncio thus far for a Wench; and therefore I speak of those gross Immoralities and Personal Vices their own Historians report them to have been guilty of.  
You say right, quoth the Capuchin, these things are best shown by matter of Fact, brought to us by the faithful reports of impartial Historians.  
The Kingdom of England is so far distant from the Court of Rome, that they have disproportionable apprehensions of it, which is sufficiently seen in that the Kings of that Nation have done Penance according to the Popes proud order, whereas he himself was shut out of Rome, and the States of Italy did always as little value his Spiritual Arms, as his Temporal; The Florentines in the year 1478. slighted the Popes Interdiction, commanded their Priests to celebrate Mass, summoned a Council of all the Prelates of Tuscany, wherein they appeared to the next General Council from Sixtus the Fourth, who basely agreed to the dreadful Murder of Lorenzo di Medici in the Cathedral of St. Reparata, and for hanging the Assassin a Priest, unjustly waged War with them. And the Venetians choose a Bishop of Vincenza in despite of Pope Julio the Second, who therefore procured the League of Cambray against them; and at this day they pay no Pensions to Cardinals, nor do they care for a favourable Election; nor is any in possession of a bnfice by any Grant, or Nomination of the Popes( unless first approved by the Council) and they are so wise as to find out a trick to prevent the effect of the Popes Patent. So that many may look upon the goodness as well as the greatness of the Popes at too great a distance; and that because they are ignorant of the present State and Policy of the Court of Rome, or by what means he and his Courtiers come to make up that Court; this we know from those Historians who are, or were of that Court, and sufficiently obliged to it not to discredit it in such a manner, and yet they are forced from the power of manifest Truths to record many extravagancies; and we may suspect that Pope Adrian had good cause to throw the Statua's of Marforio and Pasquil into tiber, rather than that people should daily red worse things than the Scriptures in the vulgar Tongues; and although I believe their Libels no more than their Legends, there may be more Grounds of Truth for the former, than for the latter. But further, Sir, if you knew by what means some arrive at that Dignity, you cannot think they will keep it better than they got it; how often hath it been procured by Factions and Usurpations, by Stratagems and Interests infinitely different from the simplicity of the first apostolic Elections? how often have there been Schisms in that Church? and how many disordered Popes after due Election have the City of Constance been fatal to by General Councils there held, and called to reform them? But to prevent this for the future, they have a new Raggione di Stato, and that is, that Cardinals may not go out of the State of the Church without leave from the Pope, and so they prevent those Councils, before which they have been formerly summoned to appear. The order of Cardinals, from whence they are chosen, have been made infamous by the lives of several unworthy and undeserving persons among them( too many to name at present) who may arrive at the Popedom as well as others: Pope lo the Tenth created 30 Cardinals at once, and would have made Raphael of Urbin one among them for moneys due to him for Pictures; I will accuse them of no more faults than they have been guilty of; but it was a cunning trick of the Jesuits to cury Pope Paul the Third( a man of his Inclinations) by telling him, That if he by his wickedness should damn the World, he could not be questioned for it: and truly if we shall have no better for the future, than the generality of them have been these last 500 years, I wish the prophesy of St. Malachias Archbishop in Ireland, in the year 1140. 
Vid. Flosculi Historici.  had been One thousand years old.  
Father, said I, methinks these Popes are not such crafty old Foxes as I always fancied them; I think Pope Paul the Third might have been more wise than to seek the recovery of England by the Black Art; Does he think after the defeat of their Armada's abroad, and discoveries of their Plots at home, to conquer us with a Regiment of enchanted Bromestaves? does he lay aside all the Heroes of Christendom and turkey, to engage Oberon, Robin Good-fellow, and Tom Thumb against us? will he make his Jesuits, who are real Plagues to us, turn Magicians to make counterfeit ones? Alas he had better turn the Sieve by St Peter, and St Paul, to know who stolen us from him; we are as far out of the reach of these little designs as the Moon, which( were it a face according to the Hypothesis of Sign-posts) would laugh at the Dogs that bark at it.  
You do well, replied the Capuchin, to bantrum yourself with these extravagant animadversions; but I must tell you, how little and inconsiderable soever they seem to you, yet do they abundantly testify their malice to be very great; which when it cannot prevail with Heaven, and Providence to determine your ruin, seeks to the Fates and nethermost Hell to contrive it; and I must tell you they have found out a nicking Devil,( a Devil of their own complexion) from the effects of whose unreasonable malice, that Heaven alone, which hath hitherto prevented them, is still able to preserve you; but you shall see more of this in another place.  
He had no sooner done speaking, but we were by a By-way, which I shall not find another time, brought into a wide place, which was sultry hot with the Multitude crowding into the mouth of Purgatory: The entrance gave us a strange and unusual Prospect; it looked like the Cave of Custoza, between Padoa and Vincenza, or the ston Quarry near Maestricht, no Labyrinth more intricate, like Nero's Hundred Chambers at Bajae; there were several By-ways which lead into the several divisions of Purgatory; but before I came to any particular one of them, I perceived my Capuchin violently hurried away, and carried before a grave person, who sat in a Chair, and suffered none to pass, before he had examined them. I was forced very near him, but with a good will, for I was desirous to understand his employment. I immediately perceived him to be the Confessor▪ General, for as soon as the Capuchin was got to him, he asked several questions concerning the course of his life, and began to upbraid him for being a Jansenist; at which the Captain  told him, that he was no member of the Roman Church, and consequently no Jansenist; that he died a Protestant, being ashamed to be of that Church which did authorize, and that publicly too, such manifest Villains.  
The Confessor  told him he should find much Civility in respect that he had forsaken Jansenius, although he had turned Turk, and so dismissed him.  
The next that came to Confession was a young Woman, with whom he was at the old sport of Questions and Commands, Crambo and Cross-purposes, which were so lascivious and impertinent, that the Woman, though formerly an impudent Whore, was more ashamed than afraid to answer him.  
My turn came the next, and after my respects done, he asked me what my name was, I thought that if ever a good thumping name would do me a kindness, it might do me one now, and therefore I confidently  told him that my name was Honorificabilitudinitatibusque. He looked very wishly upon me all the time I was saying my name, and as soon as I had done, Sir, replied he, I suppose you are some Cardinals Nephew, that come hither to make yourself merry, I wish you good diversion.  
I made no delay in taking my leave, but packing up my heels, I passed away with all speed imaginable; I had not gone ten steps before I overtook my honest Protestant Capuchin, who tarried for me. And now Sir, said he, you shall see enough of Purgatory before we part; if you will but retain the memory of that equal Constitution which carried you through all the Climates of the World; for Purgatory is not such a mass of Fire laid in Piss, as some imagine it; or such a Fire as Philip the Second of Spain burnt 150 Protestants in at one time; nor such hot fire as was used in Q. Maries days; but this Labaratory of the Pope is composed of the Quintessence of the four Elements, of the Blas or Air, and Glass of Water, &c. but follow me.  
I knew not which way to turn, and therefore was contented to go along with him; although the place we were already in was exceeding hot, for we walked up to the ankles in scalding ashes, and our backs were scorched as if three Suns had shined upon us at the same, although the place was very dusky, for we had a mous-coloured Firmament: The noise was various and dismal, but after a small time, I began to distinguish what I heard; for I could hear at some distance a fellow crying out in a lamentable tone. All ye that pass by, and enter in, take Pity of me, and of yourselves too: I could not well understand his meaning, and therefore drawing nearer him, I perceived that he was loaden with a great Chest, which with the heat and burden did infinitely perplex him; he looked like an old Officer of the goths and Vandals; there was nothing regular about him but his hat, which was a Duodecaldrum, and no ill model of the Fortifications of Maestricht; In the the name of the Pope, said I, what art thou? What, said he, a poor Rogue, who not having the fear of the Pope before mine eyes, feloniously and Jesuitically did take, steal, and carry away this Cargo of relics at the Plunder of a Religious house in Alsatia; and for my punishments do bear the Burden of these venerable Antiquiquities, which amount to 200 weight. I should be freed from this torment if I could but procure the owners of them a Sum of Money in exchange of them. Well, said I, let me see them, if there be any thing considerable, I will be the Chapman; with that he very readily gave me a sight of them. Here is, said he, a Bowl of Curds and Cream made of the Milk of St Luke's Cow: here is Julius Caesar's Nut-croom: here are the Shoes in which St Ignatius went bare-foot to Jerusalem; here is the as Sacrum of one of the 11000 Virgins. Those are all common, said I. Are they so, replied he, Well then here is half a pound of the Chaos,( and then he looked big.) This said I, is but indifferent. No, Sir, said he, pray Sir have a little patience. Finally, here is the Horshoe of the Horse, that begot the mere, that Foal'd the Foal, that was the Horse, that brought the man, that saw the man, that saw our Lady of Loretto's chapel fly from Judea into Italy.  
Truly friend( said I) this is a Horshoe of quality; Oh! Sir( cries he) it is renowned for doing many Miracles, and performing sundry feats of activity; it will fetch, and Carry, and Jump over a stick for the Pope, 'tis the very first Horshoe that ever kept Witches out of an house, and( to the Immortal honour of this Horshoe) the Grand signior by the advice of the Mufti hath Commanded, that all the Tabacco-stoppers in his Dominions should wear the sign of this Horshoe: nay there was a talk in the Divan that the Imperial half-moon should be abrogated.  
He would have gon on half an hour longer in the tradition of this utensile, had not I interrupted him by asking him how it came first to be revealed to the World: it was( replied he) first discovered by a Jesuit, who endeavouring to find a way to China by land, and traveling through a Sandy desert in the Eastern parts of Tartary, he( to his great comfort) espied as he thought a Hors-footing; when as to his greater amazement he over took this poor Horshoe all alone, from which there came a voice which asked him the way to the Holy Land; the holy Father wondered at the zeal of it, and after he had given thanks to the Seven Champions, under whose protection he had traveled thus far, he resolved to return, thinking that he had now an opportunity of gaining more then by the conversion of the Chinois; to be short, instead of directing it to Jerusalem, he brought it with him into Flanders; where the people paid it great veneration, and him a great deal of money for his pains.  
I burst into excessive laughter at this long, and Impertinent story of an Horshoe; and turning to the Capuch. Father( said I) The Jesuits will certainly render themselves very contemptible, and Ridiculous, by attempting to impose upon the World after so gross a manner.  
You are mistaken( replied the Capuchin.) they do not go about to cheat all the World into a belief of these fooler●es, these are little tricks of Legerdemain to Cajole the Rabble; they have Articles of Faith of all sorts, and sizes, and fitted to the Fancies, Humours, and Tempers of all sorts of men: for themselves they have delicate, curious, metaphoric●l Articlas; Kings and Princes may have what they please, only they must believe them to be their friends, from the pious Soliloqiues of Ignatius Loyola, Cavete vobis Principes. Now for Grandees, and Ministers of State they have Articles of great moment, as for example, that the French King has a Title to the Empire;( And I believe that he will rob the Pope of that considerable Article of universal Monarch in short time:) Now for those Roman catholics, who are of honester principles, and who have declared that they detest their morals and practices, or are ignorant of them; they let them believe what they please( tho' we should not trust them to do what they might) only the superstitious Ignorant Rout, the Inepta Turba, as they call them, are cheated into a belief of those lying wonders.  
Father( said I) these devices may secure their Interests in R. C. Dominions, but what will they signify in Protestant Countries, where the people are incensed against them? Oh Sir( said he) do not you know that if a Jesuit is designed for England, he lays aside the Habit of his Order, and not only so, but he walks every day in a different disguise: so 'tis with their stratagems they are var●ed according to the several opinions, humou●s and Interests of men, and still designed to the same main end( the advancement of then society) they have not made so many different Articles of Faith in all Europe as they have made Schisms and Heresies in England( I had like to have forgot Scotland.) Now as those comely Articles I before mentioned are grounded upon Interest and superstition, so are all the Heresies of great britain, which destroy the Church of England, as the other maintains the Church of Rome; only with this difference, that the superstition of those goodly people, who call themselves Protestants, is more Fatal to the ruin of the one, then the superstition of the Papists is able to uphold the other; nay the violence of your Reforming zeal in the late Wars was such that all the ages of the Wo●ld cannot parallel its extravagancies. cromwell understood this so well, that it was the first thing he did after he had received a Commission from the Earl of Essex, to inflame his Soldiers with this Diabolical valour, by which whilst they thought they fought the Lords, they fought his Battles, to the ruin of their Properties, as well as their Princes Prerogative. But you shall farther understand this, when we come into a place of Purgatory called Puritania.  
Whilst the Capuchin was thus discoursing, the Fellow, who shew'd us those forenamed Rarities, held a scroll in his hand, which the Capuchin took from him and opened: The Title was, The Solemn League and Covenant. As soon as ever I saw it, I trembled, as if I had been brought before the Committee for the unpardonable Crime of being Fatherless and Motherless; What are you afraid of cries the Capuchin? here, take hold of it, 'twill not bite you; the Sting is out, and the Venom of it is discovered; Why, Sir, said I, is it venomous? Ay, quoth the Capuchin, 'tis the strongest poison that ever was composed in France; whoever took it immediately run mad, and bit and worried all those that endeavoured to recover them to their right minds; and when a great number had been possessed, and wanted opposers, then they devoured one another; and if this fellow would but give you as good an account of it as he has done of the Horshoe, 'twill prove the tallest Relict by the head and shoulders; 'twould pose 40 confounded lying Jesuits, and as many Tub-preachers to tell all the pranks it hath played in the World; it hath done more mischief than all the Earthquakes that ever happened; for although one of them once ovethrew 12 Cities in a night, this overthrew three Kingdom in a day; it has occasioned all the villainies, public Murders, Plots, Conspiracies, Confederacies that have been in the World; and yet in every age it has appeared in different shapes, like the Devil, who they say first learnt to turn himself into an Angel of light by it: Some are of opinion that Ovid stolen some of his Metamorphosis from it, and do confidently affirm that the armed men that sprung from the Serpents teeth▪ which Cadmus had sowed, were Levellers; 'tis impossible to tell all that it hath done in so remote ages of the World: But to come nearer our times, in the year 1619. the Bohemians raised Arms, made a Godly Covenant, the same in substance with the Scotish, by men of the same humour with our Presbyterians, had the same ends to take away the Bishops Lands; but what was the consequence of that War? The zealous party were utterly undone and confounded that began that War with the Emperor, to take away the Bishops Lands, which they accounted the Flesh and Bones of the Whore of babylon. What think you of the Holy League in France, as they called it, wherein the Guisian Faction was supported by the Pope, King of Spain, and Duke of Savoy? Pray who were the chief Agents in that Rebellion, but the Priests and Jesuits, who then managed the Spanish Interest, because that King was then the eldest Son of the Church? what was the design of it but the Alteration of the Government of France, the destruction of the Royal Family, and the enlarging the Popes Authority? What were the effects of this holy War but unnatural and cruel Murders and Slaughters, irreconcilable Hatreds, the ruin and desolation of that most flourishing Kingdom? How mad and sottish was their Zeal, when in their holy fortitude they destroyed those very Altars for which they fought? and what was the final consequence, but the Murder of their natural Prince by the hands of Jaques Clement, and the Slavery of the People? nay after Henry the Fourth had quieted France, and thought by Kindness and Compliance to have gained his Enemies, as well as he had secured his Friends, how did they requited him by the hands of Ravilliac? Now for this Solemn League and Covenant, 'tis the very Brat of that Holy League; 'tis as like the Daddy as ever it can look; it has the same pretty cloven foot, and the same pretty little Roman nose; for what difference was there betwixt the 16 Tribunes, and Council of 40 in Paris, under the League and D. of Mayenn, and Oliver's little Parliament? had it not the same design? the same Agents? the effects of it will not soon be forgotten: Did not we lose as great and good a Prince as ever France had? I am sure the people of England had so lost their Liberty and Property under those Massionello's they had set up, that it was great mercy and clemency that they recovered it under their lawful Prince. Now what ingratitude? What a spirit of Jesuitism is there in those people, who go about to ruin him, as they did his Father of blessed Memory? Did not the late troubles begin with base and scandalous Libels? were not the people filled with unreasonable fears and jealousies? were they not enraged with furious frenzies, and an undistinguishing mad Zeal, wherein, like Mad men, they destroyed their best Friends, and truest Benefactors? and went about to avoid Popery, as melancholy men do hanging, by strangling themselves for fear of it. The Lord Digby, in a Speech in Parliament against Petitions of the Rabble against Bishops, tells the House, That instead of a Bishop in every diocese, they would have a Pope in every Parish. I am sure they either had a Jesuit, or one of his appointing. The Scots accused the King of Popery, and at the very same time called in the French by a Letter to that King, for which London was imprisoned. Now may not any man in the World( cries the Capuchin) think that the Doctrine of this Godly Covenant( holding it up) is purely Popish and Jesuitical? it has the perfect Mein and air of the French, and if I be not mistaken, 'tis the very hand-writing of Cardinal Richlieu.( a man that will turn the Kingdom of Darkness into a Commonwealth, if the Jesuits do but assist him) Do not you think that the people of England have a great deal of reason to admire French Commodities? are not they mightily beholding to them for revealing a Charm of that power, and of those good qualities by virtue of its purity? is it not a strange thing that Episcopal men, alias Malignants, should despise this poor little in nomine Domini, which hath done so many Miracles, that if I should tell you all of them, you would conclude that the Horshoe is no more to compare to it, then Tom Thumb is to the Great Mogul? This had to do with a bigger thing than the Lady of Loretto's chapel, for it turned St Pauls Church into a Stable( as the Jesuits afterwards turned it into Ashes) a Horshoe does but keep Witches out, but this found them out, and hanged whole Conventicles of them together: On the other hand 'twas a good Preservative against hanging and sequestration; If a man did but take it fasting and praying, he presently found himself in a good fat bnfice, or some other profitable Employment; and immediately after, all his hair came off, his head was as round as a Globe, which you know is an hieroglyphic of Sovereignty; it could raise Armies and Taxes; sometimes for diversion it cured four or 5000 men of all diseases in one day; once upon a brave warm evening it did a pretty trick. What was that, said I? What, quoth he, it turned a Quaker and a mere into a centaur; it's impossible for me to relate all its exploits; but do not you imagine that it smells of Brimstone? No, said I, but it has a kind of Haut-Goust, with being kept too long. But why do you fancy that it stinks of Brimstone? Why, said he, because it will split a sixpence, that is, it divides the Effigies on the one side from the Arms on the other. I do not understand your meaning, Father, said I. No saith he, do not you know that it distinguisheth betwixt the Authority and the Person of the Prince? Ay, Sir, said I, but can any man imagine that half a Sixpence is a Sixpence? No, quoth the Capuchin. What is it then, said I, a Threepence? No, said he, 'tis nothing but a dead piece of Silver, and so if the Authority could be separate from the Prince, then he is but as another man; but this Authority is derived immediately from God, and all the World cannot put them asunder which God have joined together; and if he that Clip, Split, or Deface the Kings Coin( which is the emblem of his Power and Goodness) is guilty of Treason, surely he that by such false and dangerous Positions endeavours to deface the sacred character of Majesty, is a traitor, and so are all they who took this Covenant, and do not from the bottom of thier hearts renounce it.  
Well, well, Father, said I, all good men are abundantly satisfied with the truth of what you say, concerning this Position; but to me it does not only seem very dangerous, but very ridiculous; is it possible that so many men should be gulled by such a piece of Equivocal nonsense, to venture Lives and Fortunes, Soul, and Body and all? that men to avoid Popery should shelter themselves under the very first Principle of Jesuitism? but pray let us have no more of it. Yes, replies the Capuchin, I will only tell you the reason why it prevailed so much upon the Rabble of England in 2 or 3 more of its Pranks; it taught the Beggar to ride the great Horse; it put Tinkers and cobblers into the chief Offices and Dignities, and turned the whole Kingdom topsy turvy; and they say the Juncto resolved once upon an Order, that Women should go on their heads; These are the Feats this little French relict has played: All the Wine in France could not do much; for that will only make men drunk, but this made them mad, and was very binding about the Rump.  
The Capuchin and I were so busy in discourse, that we did not regard three or four modish fellows dancing and curvetting about us, as if the heat of the ground had taught them their Honors, as Banks did his mere; until one of them interrupted us by desiring to look on the Covenant, which the Capuchin held in his hand: As soon as he had it, he turned to his Companions; and look ye here, cries he, this is A-la-mode de France; 'tis mightily Embarasse, cries a second. Are not these English men, Father, said I? I had no sooner asked the question, but he that had the scroll in his hand, threw it down, and in the greatest Passion imaginable, English, cries he! I hate the very name, I had rather have a French Disease than English Health. Then lifting up his eyes, Hencefoward the Fates and I are eternal foes for destining my birth in so unmannerly a Climate: Why was not I a F. Dog, rather than an English man? who( continues he) talks of nothing but old fashioned Honor, Virtue, and Renown; the French alone are the gay and gentle People of the Age, and to whom alone the World is so much indebted for that great Charter of liberty granted the Senses. I am so angry with my Country, cries a second, that I spent my English Estate in France, and was resolved not to enjoy any thing in England, but what I could get by force: For my part, cried the third, there is nothing so much troubles me as their Laws, which were they put in execution, there would be no living for men of our quality among them.  
At this I asked the Capuchin what they were, who  told me that they were Highwaymen, Hectors, and Ranters.  
These are a sort of people, whom the Jesuits by their excellent Morals, have made as fit for their purposes, as the other were by their furious and pecipitated Zeal; whilst they are in the height of their Debaucheries they are utterly disabled from doing any public good or service; for the little stratagems of Wenching and Drinking are more considerable with them than all real Worth and Generosity; and they think a French Shrug, or a modish Oath the very perfection of Human Nature: Now when they have consumed their Estates, and a disgraceful want forces them to retirement and consideration; a deep discontent succeeds their Intemperance, and base resolutions of living upon the spoils of other mens Goods are the consequence of embezzling their own: If things be peaceable and quiet, then they disturb none but those that travail the Road; but if there happen to be any public discontents or divisions in the Kingdom, then without either consideration of Religion, or Loyalty, they will be very ready to improve them according as they shall suppose them conducing to their private ends; but we have had examples enough of this nature. Pray let us hear what this man has a mind to say.  
With that I observed a person applying himself to me, and after respects done; You seem to be offended, Sir, said he, with what these three ingenious Gentlemen have spoken; but could you lay aside your natural Prejudice, or had you their Education, you would be of their mind.  
I know that all men have a pleasing Veneration for the place of their Birth, and think well of their own Country, be it never so wild and barren; and of their native Customs and Manners, be they never so rude and insipid; and the Familiarity of those who first knew us, and were acquainted with our Innocency, is excusable; there are those, who when they have nothing to be proud of, will be proud upon the public account; and there are men in the World that think Edinburgh as good a City as London, and those that think London as good as Paris, the experiment has been tried upon Indians, who could never be complimented out of their Barbarism by the best usages of a civilized place, but have returned with an eager joy to their primitive nastiness.  
Sir, said I, I perceive what you aim at, and do most humbly thank you in the name of my Country, for the obliging similitude; I suppose that you design about the next Full of the Moon, that the English should be Cannibals; you may have red the Character a pitiful French Pedant gave the World of us some few years ago, in return of an affront done by some foolish Boys; and this is no new trick of the Jesuits and R. Priests, they reproached us in Constantinople, in King James's time, until the Turks were ready to knock them on the head for their pains, being convinced that they were a pack of defaming Rascals; they have had the impudence and vanity to Burlesque our most solmn and public transactions of State, as if the People of England should go into Flanders to learn to speak English; I am sure they will never speak well of us, or give us that Character, which is due to any National virtue or Excellency. In the year 1594. one Bozius Eugubinus, a Priest, wrote a Book against Machiavel, entitled, De Robore Bellico, and dedicated it to Clement the Eighth, wherein he reckons up and magnifies famous Exploits of Christian Princes; but not a word of the English. I suppose he had forgot the business of 88. or perhaps he thought it an heretical Trick. The Jesuits occasioned the late Wars in England, and were instrumental in the greatest villainies of them, and yet one of them in a Book entitled, Flosculi Historici, concludes with the Murder of the King. I question whether he did so much detest the Fact, as glory to tell it to our shane.  
Ye may thank yourselves, Sir, replied he, ye were a brave and generous People, before your revolt from the Church of Rome, but since that ye degenerate from the ancient Spirit and Gallantry of your Progenitors.  
In what pray Sir, said I? I believe there has been as great Examples, I say as many, and more examples of Valour, and Learning since the days of Henry the Eighth, as there was in all the time between his Reign and William the Conquerors, and that the Jesuits know very well; and although they possess their proselytes with an opinion of their singular Learning and Parts, above all Orders of men, yet the Church of England is able to match them in any good Knowledge; and our two Universities have trained up as great Scholars as all their Seminaries put together. Therefore since they cannot Baffle us openly, they go about to ruin us secretly, by propagating Enthusiastical opinions, fitted to the natural Pride and Ignorance of the common people.  
I had a great deal more to say upon this Subject, but the man broken out into so violent a Passion, that if he had not spoken, his nose would have bled, and therefore looking very sternly upon me, I tell you Sir, said he, the English are grown very barbarous and savage, and since the Reformation are dwindled into Baboons, and were the truth known, are born with Tails, and cannot see until they are nine days old: They were a gallant people when they were the Children of Rome; but now the French are only A-la-Mode in Religion and Manners, and to them seem as Gods that dropped from Heaven, and rebound on the Earth ever since.  
I made bold to think that this man was either a Jesuit or a Devil, that could so suddenly alter the shape of his Discourse, and from a wheedling Harange fall immediately into a scurrilous Invective: Nor was I much mistaken; for the Capuchin seeing my brisles rise, and mouth open, and abundance of anger just at my tongues end, was resolved to set me on more fiercely, by telling me that he was Commissioned by the Jesuits to propagate the Gospel of Ignatius his 24 Evangelists, which contains excellent Systems of Robbing, Plundering, and Cutting throats after the newest Fashion; the most accomplished methods of Rebellion and Sedition, grounded upon Principles of Atheism and Libertinism, which joined to superstitious fears and jealousies, occasioned all those late Troubles that turned the greatest part of England into a Wilderness, and too many of the Inhabitants into Owls and Dragons; for there is none so fit to be a Captain to Rebels, as he that has been a Thief; and none more ready to alter the Government and Customs of his Country than he that too fond admires those of other Nations. Thus they endeavour to render the people of England odious and contemptible to all the World, and to make them out of love with themselves, they report there is nothing left among them since the Reformation but what belonged to the Picts and Druids; that they are changelings and Fairies, and do nothing but nip R. C. all night long; and therefore 'tis they look upon them with less esteem than the Spaniards did upon the Cannabals, whom they destroyed with Guns; and the English escaped pretty narrowly from their Gunpowder: And is it not a strange thing that after the defeat of so many Stratagems they should go about to take them, as we do monkeys, by laying French Habits and Manners to wear.  
Pray Father, said I, I know no just Reason that the Jesuits have to be such restless Enemies to the English, unless it be that they are lately out of love with Martyrdom. Must we be damned by Bell Book and Flambeaux, and all and every one of us rammed into a Gun, because we do not date our houses Stilo Novo? as if an almanac could not be true unless it has directions from the Corns on Pope Gregory's Infallible to? Must we be utterly abolished for a pack of Heretical Clowns, because we don't make legs to old Clouts?  
No, no, replied the Capuchin, 'tis not for any thing of this nature; 'tis because ye do not tread gently, but ye walk so slovenly over abbey Lands; and they would show you how to move more neatly, if you would be pleased to let them dance an Ecclesiastical Jig called a Procession. Truly Father, said I to the Capuchin, I always thought that the differences between the People of England and the Church of Rome, had been grounded upon material Points of Doctrine; I little thought their could be such irreconcilable Feuds upon such trivial accounts as you just now mentioned; I thought the rooting out a pestilent heresy had been the great business; or the Conversion of us from damnable Errors( as they account them) had been the main end of their Zeal and Industry; and yet methinks they go about by indirect means infinitely different from those methods that were used in the first Ages of Christianity; wherein we meet with no such Casuists as the Angelical Order of Jesuits afford; we find no Learned Apologies for the newest Fashions; they never preached down Idolatry, or any other prevailing sin, by Preaching up Libertinism and Immorality: Poor ignorant old fashioned Souls, they did not know the modish distinction betwixt Caesar and his Authority: they never had the heart to encourage men to Robbery and Sedition as Captain Ignatius his Disciples have, who seem rather of the Society of barrabas, then of Jesus; as for the Primitive Christians, they had not half the Policy the Jesuits have, nor had they the Compendious way of Conversion; what a world of Christians did Jesuits make in a short time in the Western Indies, among the most savage Americans? whose Blood they mingled with the Waters of Baptism, contrary to the opinion of the Dominicans; that[ the Inhabitants should be reduced by Preaching and without violence] but the Jesuits find this latter a quicker way, for they think there is no such Argument as Gunpowder, and no such Preaching as with Ammunition; and although it be not according to the old way, yet 'tis the more modish, and infallible way; and used by the Infallible and holy Pope Size Cinque( in the days of Queen Elizabeth) who thought that Religion might be propagated by a kind of Back Gammon, as Military Discipline is by Chess.  
The Capuchin and I had talked away the Jesuit and his Companions, and were all alone at the foot of a hill like that of Vesuvius in the Kingdom of Naples; our feet were parched with the hot scalding Sands, and therefore we made hast to the top of it, which gave us a prospect of most of the Regions of Purgatory; we could see at a distance, and in dusky valleys, some Cities built like those in Africa; so that every house seemed a Prison, and a place of Penance: Then sandy, and black deserts, and Wildernesses over-run with Scorpions,& Serpents: beyond them a mighty Ocean of Salt Peter, which roared and belched continual Flames, as if Thunder and Lightning had been turned topsie-turvy; on the other hand lay a deep, and profound Valley, like a Sea of Darkness, which was bounded with exceeding high Mountains, vomiting Flames of different colours, which gave no certain Light. The whole Horizon was perpetually moistened with a Burningpricking due, as if the Firmament had sweat with heat. I presently concluded that it is a great deal worse to be sent to this place, than to be transported to the Barbadoes; and yet I was resolved to pass over it, if possible; with that I began to descend the Hill, but the Capuchin stopped me, and  told me that my hast had like to have hindered me of the sight of some things very remarkable. See you not, says he, yonder stately Cupola on your left hand? 'tis the abode of those who neither perfectly merited Heaven, or deserved the Torments of Purgatory; and there they must stay for a short time, until they are better provided for by the Pope, for they were Martyrs of State, more than of Religion; and although the one is as considerable in the Roman Church as the other, yet those persons were deprived of the Honor allotted them, both because they did not succeed in the execution of their designs for the interests of Rome, whose Motto is, Prosperum scelus virtus vocatur.  
Therefore, as some Popes have lost the Honor of Infallibility by being often surprised in their Judgments; so those are not the perfectest Saints, because they unfortunately, or indiscreetly managed those Works of supererogation.  
We were now just entering a Gatehouse, which had on the top a great many Skulls, fixed upon high Poles, and at some distance I observed a great number of people about Corps which had been quartered, and were stitched together again; some wept over it, others dipped their Handkerchiefs in the Blood that issued from it, and all devoutly attended it to a stately Building just before us; as I came nearer I thought I heard a Requiem sung, as it were by dying echoes, and the Bells rang out a melancholy Gloria; I thought too that we had entred the Pantheon in Rome, for all round about there stood a great many Persons in such fixed Postures with burning Tapers in their hands, that they looked like Statua's; whilst I was gazing about me, there opened as it were a Scene at some distance, and discovered Ignatius Loyola in a Chair of Estate. He was attended with several eminent Cardinals, but amongst them none more busy than Cardinal Gudiccion the Jesuits first Patron; at the back of the Chair stood three or four Popes with their Triple Crowns pull▪ d over their eyes, and very much out of humour, for the encroachments the Jesuits daily make upon their Successors by reason of those extraordinary privileges they had granted them. I did not as yet certainly understand what was to be done in this place, and therefore I asked the Capuchin, who bid me have a little patience, and I should presently know; and withal asked me if I knew whose Pictures those were that were hung upon the Pillars; with that I looked more wishly upon them, and  told him that I thought they were the Resemblances of Guido Faux, Campian, Garnet, and of some others. They are so, said he, and although they were Rebels and Traitors in England, yet the change of air made them Saints instantly, and they were canonised in this place for what they were Hanged, Drawn, and Quartered in another, and you shall see the same trick done immediately. He had no sooner done speaking, but the Corps, I spoken of before, being laid on a stately Altar in the Center of the Rotonda, St Ignatius, the Popes and Cardinals attending, arose up, and after a Consort of loud music, like that which was used at the adoration of Nebuchudnezzar's Image, they unanimously cried out all, Hail St. Coleman junior:) after this Sentence his Body became all relics, and about his head the badge of Saintship began to down; and he had the honour to be first canonised, for it was much to their satisfaction that he died a Martyr: but I did not know the reason why he was styled St. Coleman jun. until the Capuchin  told me that there was another of that name at Melk in Austria.  
After he was dispatched, there was a scroll delivered into the hands of Ignatius Loyola, which they said contained the Merits of Father Pickering. I could not get a sight of them; but you may easily guess at them in a frosty morning. The Assembly was long debating his Case: but the result of all was, that he had rendered himself uncapable of Saintship by his silly Bargain; for, said they, if instead of 30000 Masses he had agreed for 30000 Crowns, he had been as good a Saint as ever pist, but the want of so many Masses suppose him a Sinner; and he supposeth himself imperfect, until they are said in his behalf. Upon which enquiry was made how many had been said; and when it could not be proved that the one half had been said, the Father was put into such a Consternation, that in despair he protested he had better have taken the Scots 30000 pounds, or rather than fail, Judas his 30 Pence, and so away he sneakt.  
Nor had councillor Langhorn any better success, for after his case was opened, and a Jury of Saints impanneld; the Verdict was, That his dying a Martyr had utterly disenabled him from being a Saint; and that if he had so well pleaded his case as to have saved his life and the credit of the good old Cause, his merits would then have made him worthy of the most Splended Canonization that ever the Church of Rome saw, and a day of jubilee had been instituted for his sake. But now his Mittimus was made, and He thrown ore the Bar to make rome for Three of the Popes Bum-bailifs, Green, Hill, and Bury; at the sight of them the whole Assembly was stupefied with so sudden grief, that there was a Profound silence for a time, until the Eloquent Santarillo arose from his seat, and in the name of his Order gave them thanks for their zeal, which was very agreeable to his Doctrine, but not so prudent and successful as He could wish; with that He lifted up his hands, and his Eyes stood Cock't like triggers to his tongue, which at last flew out with these violent, and pathetical Expressions.  
Oh ye Stars! and Destinies! ye Fates! and thou great Goddess Fortune, whom Rome and all our World adore! by what strange miscarriages do we dispose thee to be so uncertain, and unkind to us? To us, whom thou hast Raised to the highest Mountains of Hopes and given the Prospect of Three most glorious kingdoms? To us, who have fallen down to thee to our Ruin, and worshipped thee to our destruction? Is our and thy power limited with the bounds of those unfortunate Islands, which by how much the nearer they seem, are by so much the farther off▪ We seem in reality to have possessed them, but to have lost them in a dream. Were we secure beyond all fears only to be defeated beyond all hopes? Or hast thou shown the uttermost of thy favour, and displeasure in one moment, and perverted the Order of thy unkindness in us; who fell diametrically from the Zenith of Happiness and Enjoyment to the Nadir of misery and loss? Doth the same prophesy reach our, and the Turkish Empire( whose outmost Extent is foretold, to be the German Ocean) Our Empire( I say) which by our Religion, and traffic we have extended, to both the Jndias and bounded with both the Poles? Or is that other World Guarded by a more mighty Power then thine, which only permits our designs to be ripe for our destruction? Which confuted our Infallible Armada in the very Haven, and dissolved into tuneful, Squibs, and Harmonious Crackers those mighty magazines of destruction, which were sufficient and ready to amnihilated Three kingdoms at one blow, and make them more another Chaos then another World.  
Which have confounded, and brought to nought our last preparations and contrivances, the Compendium of all our former Projects in which we have made our most Powerful Attempts by Engaging all our Interests in Earth, Heaven, and Hell.  
The Audience observing that this Rhetorician had not half vented himself, and being desirous of plainer terms, the whole discovery of the Plot was Related,( as we have it by public Authority) Nemine Contradicente( for the Jesuits like Devils believe what they would not have the World know,) but when mention was made of Sir edmond Bury-Godfry's being carried off on horseback, of his being discovered by a dark lantern, and of the miscarriag of the Consecrated Gun: Ignatius L. Himself beckoned to the Audience, who were attentive to hear him; and since his Disciples the Jesuits have wrote so many panegyrics to his Honour, and Renown, and do magnify him as the greatest Example of Piety and Learning; I here g●ve you an instance of both in his Speech which was to this effect.  

My most Beloved.  
Concerning Horsmanship I can say but little, being in the days of my Humility but a poor Foot Soldier; but my Speech at present shall consist of two things, to wit of Guns, and Darklanthorns.  
Truly as for Darklanthorns, they do most properly belong to deeds of darkness, ever since the People, that came along with Judas, had them, and therefore it was a great mistake in these Gentlemen to make use of one; they might have taken example from Guido Faux, who had better have taken Will in the wisp for his Guid, for that betrayed him; and to prevent the like inconvenicney for the future, I do ordain that all my Disciples for ever after wear a little Wild-fire in their Pockets( I mean some composition fit to take fire) with a small tinderbox, for what is there that does greater things then Fire? for as Pope Urban the Fifth said of the Agnus Dei which he sent the Emperor( A little will do as much good as all of it.) Therefore having this in one pocket, and your Knives well whetted in another, according to those orders I have given you, I think they will be safe enough; for as for Guns, there is no need that ye carry them about you, for those are silly weapons that cannot do half so much good as Gun-powder alone does; for that will kill many Thousands at one Blow, nay on the other hand, these Guns do mischief ever since the Wild Arabs and Jndians got them, for we cannot come at them to Blow them up, and therefore they are upon even terms with us; nay moreover since those Arabs got them, they endanger the Pilgrims going to Jerusalem, and the Caravan to Mecha, so that they do much hinder all Religion, nor do they promote ours; for if the heretics care not far our Canons, what will they care for our Guns? of what standing they are I cannot well tell, but the word Bombard denotes them to be very ancient; for Bombard comes from Lombard, and that from Longobard, and that is, ye know, old Time.   
As soon as this learned speech was ended, the Capuchin and I hastened out as fast as we could( for the new Saints began to smell for all their Canonization) and so did others with us: for just as we were got into a back Court, a poor Mendicant friar who learned on my shoulders( and whom I afterwards understood to be a Jansenist) cried, What a Blunderbuz is this Ignoramus Loyola? I expected that He would have derived saltpeter from Saint Peter. 'twas his fortune to be overheard by a Jesuit, who frowning on him, after half a dozen well seasoned names of Rogue, Rascal Vagrant, &c. How dare you( quoth He) affront the Founder of our most glorious Society? Do not you understand our Interests, and Quality in the World? Are not we the main Pillars of the Church? and what are you, but a company of Ecclesiastical Tatterdemallions and Scarecrowes of the spiritual Harvest, and the very forlorn hope of the Church Mendicant.  
He spoken this so passionately, that one of his own Order took particular notice of him, and therefore pulling him by the arm; good Sir( said He) be a little more-moderate, for what have we got by this way of buffonery? But to be justly wounded by our own Peison'd weapons, wherewith we have unjustly wounded the reputations of others( who in good earnest are better Saints then any that were made to day) how ill does it become us to scoff, and deride the Poverty of this good Iansenist( I say) that poverty, whereof we have made so solemn a vow? Can we hinder the World from taking a just and particular account of that mans life and actions, of whom we have  told so many prodigious, silly and Blasphemous Lies? What have we got by our East Jndia Miracles, but the repute of vain Impostors? Do you think that the World will not take especial notice of us, who intermeddle with all the concerns of it? Do you think that we may always Libel great and eminent Princes as our Education, or Natural disposition leads us, without the imputation of Villains, who only deserve a satire? or Assassin them without being accounted Traytors, who justly deserve an Halter? No, no, Sir, these things will not do, unless we can alter the very Essence of Truth, or deprive those you call heretics, of the advantages of Learning; all our morose Sanctity will prove in the end to be but Cruelty and hypocrisy: as it was in those Imps of ours the Fanatical Rebels of England: and whilst we endeavour to establish our particular Greatness, we shall ruin the Glory of the Church.  
This was the honestest Jesuit that ever I heard speak; and therefore I was resolved to remember a Face that had so good a Tongue to it; but how strangely was I surprised to meet with my old friend the Gentleman, whom we lost at our first entrance into the Jesuits college?( and who was so cruelly vexed for the Cheat they had put upon him in persuading him to be butted in their Habit) I perceived he was resolved to be even with them, for as soon as he saw me; Come Sir, said he,( taking me by the hand) you and I, and that honest Capuchin, will keep closer together for the future; and if you will follow me,( I think I cannot go amiss for the Jesuits are everywhere concerned) we shall meet with diversion enough. We went with him to a Back-gate, where stood a Guard to keep out a number of men, who were very desirous to get in; as soon as we came up to them, I was amazed to find Milton at the head of a company in short Cloaks, short hair, and with white Caps turned up under black ones: but before I could take particular notice of any one man, I was diverted by Milton, whom I observed to be very earnest with a Provincial of the Jesuits( who stood there to give orders) and because he was a man of singular Eloquence, I took a great deal of pains to hear what he said, which was to this effect: May it please you Reverence to consider how I am injured, who am denied the honour which is so easily granted to men vastly beneath my Merits, and Deserts; for what can any man do for the promotion of your Interests that I have not done? Did not I constantly attend your Consults, and observe your Orders? Did not I promote the late Rebellion in England by all the Artifices Imaginable; by siding with the malcontents and seditious Rabble, who wanted a man of my Parts and Learning to gilled their Treasons, with pompous pretences of Justice, and Reformation; and to urge them to greater Excesses? Did not I bestow the best Flowers of rhetoric for Garlands to adorn the heads of victorious Traytors, and triumphant Usurpers? and gave them a Counterfeit Majesty with the robes of Eloquence? Were not the people gulled to part with their Religion, and Property to those to whom I had given the glorious Titles of Preservers of the Commonwealth, and Redeemers of their Liberty? Have not I shaken the Crowns of Princes in that unparalleled Book of mine against Salmasius? Have any of you thundered against Monarchy at that rate? No, not any of you; not Baronius himself, who called it an Adulterine Name, and A Tower of Babel; Well then do not I deserve?  
He would have gone on, but that the Jesuit interrupted him, by telling him, That if he did still really wish the welfare of their Order, he would not desire such unreasonable Honours; for( continues he) suppose we should Canonize Ravilliac( a man mightily deserving) would not the World think us poor Politicians that should thus hazard the displeasure of the French Crown( whose friendship is our chief interest? and should we thus publicly declare to the World, that you and your Companions were very instrumental to the carrying on our designs, under the Notion of Commonwealthsmen, Nonconformists, &c. our old Game would be at an end; Have you not heard what ill success the way of Petitioning hath lately had? therefore we must desire you to rest yourself contented for a while; and if ever the universal order of things come to our disposal, you shall not be forgotten; for we design to new model the World, and to change the whole Frame of Government in our universal Fifth Monarchy; and then shall a different Character be put upon the transactions of these times, and what is now 'vice, shall then be Virtue; the whole Body of Religion shall be transformed, and Heaven itself shall have a new Hypothesis.  
But Sir, quoth he, What is it those Gentlemen pretend too that are behind you?( pointing to Knox, Buchanon, Goodman) I confess they have followed our Examples, and Principles; have been injurious to some Princes, and have troubled the Peace of some States; but upon what account you may know from Marshal, Burgess, and some others their reverend Successors, a Pack of Rascals so endowed with Knavery, that any one of them would ruin a Monarchy for a good fat Sequestration; and some of them would hang a whole Parish for the bnfice; they are no friends to any Governments, or Communities, any longer then they are encouraged with the best Preferments in them; nor are they Enemies to any, but upon the account of their own private Interests; this is so true, that these very men, after they had bawled at Monarchy so long, that by the help of the Rabble they had brought all things into confusion, and by that means had got their hands full of Sacrilegious pennyworths of Church and Crown Lands, they were very zealous to restore that Government in Oliver, which they had destroyed in the ruin of King Charles; and the Committee declared that the Person, not the Name, was displeasing; and for the better security of what they had gained, and for the prevention of those disorders by which they had undone the Loyal Party; they who so long Canted upon the privilege and Birthright of every Englishman, enacted that none should have Votes in Elections, but those who were worth 200 Pounds: and therefore we will not trust them any more than they will one another; and if they be not contented with the Reward they receive in this place for maintaining our Principles, and for being instrumental to our designs, we will sand them back again to Scotland.  
At this they all retreated very quietly; in the rear of them appeared Hugh Peters, whom, when the Jesuit saw, he crossed himself three or four times, and turning to us, There goes a fellow, cries he, that has so far outdone the Devil, that he hath been often about renouncing his old name, ( neck) for that of ( Hugh) Oh! cries the Capuchin, that is an encroachment upon the Popes Prerogative( to change his name.) No, Sir, replied the Jesuit, he fears his friend neck Locryer may take it ill.  
As soon as they were gone, I asked the Capuchin if he knew whither they went; or what was their Reward; who  told me that we were now very near Puritania, and that there I should be satisfied; in the mean time let us take a little diversion, for, cries he, that is a place of Business.  
Although I was very desirous to see what became of those venerable Elders, yet because the Capuchin had promised that I should meet with them in their proper places, I was contented to follow him through a nasty stinking Lane( like that of Whetstones Park) which lead to an old ruined Gate-house; over the Portal, was in Letters of Azure( Orate pro Corporibus nostris.) As soon as we were come up, the Capuchin, turning to the Gentleman in disguise, You Sir, said he, must in this Habit procure us entrance into this place, which is the Region of Women: with whom the Jesuits are the most prevailing men in the World; for besides the great privileges they procure them in this place by allotting them easy Penances, and pleasing pains, consisting only in the melancholy Remembrances of past Joys, which according to the Doctrine of their sublimated Alcoran, shall last no longer than their Contemporary Lovers are fitted to go with them to Heaven: Pray whoever laid such irresistible Obligations upon the succeeding Sex? For whilst poor phlegmatic Northern heretics can extend their Uncatholique Fancies no farther than an Indian Gem, or sometimes in the Dog-days make bold with a Star to express their Perfections: They soar above the brightest excellency of Cherubims, and Seraphims, as you may red in that excellent 
Jes Mor.  Canto a Reverend Father sent his incomparable Delphina( and which before 'tis ten years older will be ad usum Sarum.) But besides their accomplished skill and knowledge of what will please them, they are not ignorant of any one thing that may terrify or affright them: and this is very advantageous to them; for 'tis incredible what they gain from Superstitious, Hypocondriacal Widows of the Roman persuasion. And besides, this natural disposition in Women is very convenient to the carrying on any Fears or Jealousies they foment in those States where they intend a disturbance; and therefore when they expatiate themselves so freely in Commendation of the Eyes, Noses, and Lips of Women, they are very unkind and ungrateful to forget the Milt.  
The Gentleman was all this while knocking at the Gate, which at last was opened by one who looked like the Trull of a Mamaluck. What have we here, cried I, one of the Furies? No, no, quoth the Capuchin, 'tis Pope Paulus Venetus, which used to Paint himself, and desired to seem a Woman; he has only changed places with Pope Joan, who is gone among the men; but you may observe that he has the Modesty of a Woman, for he is ashamed to be seen: And indeed it was not long before he was out of sight, so that I was forced to divert myself with other objects. The Place seemed a mighty large Park, enclosed with an exceeding high Wall, in which there was such Variety, that it might be the Compendium of the whole World: Here was all sorts of Climates, all Degrees of Heat and could fitted to the different Ages, and Conditions of Women, among whom none were so unkindly used to my thinking, as a number of pretty well complexioned Lasses, who stood up to their Chins in Snow, and the tears that flowed from their eyes dropped down in Icicles: I asked the reason of this extraordinary severity, and the answer was, that they were thus punished for loving heretics. I afterwards asked if there was no punishment for the Concubines of Priests, Cardinals, and Popes; but I was  told, to my abundant satisfaction, that they were of Ecclesiastical Jurisdiction, that they had a Plenary Indulgence by reason of their Function, and many other privileges as being Spiritual Feme-Covert, and that being thus Ecclesiastically Humbled, they ought not to be profaned or Corrected by any outward Violence or Secular Authority. I was now got into a sandy open Place, which was as immoderately hot, as the other was excessively could, and yet for all that there was a great many Dutch Women set upon Stoves, until they were so smoakt, that a Jew would not touch them for fear of Westphalia Hams. I left this place( which was somewhat too hot for me) for one much more delightful, wherein were several rows of Trees set it Quincuncial order, which made very pleasant and shady Walks, and refreshed with Christallin Fountains; but in one thing it was extraordinary, and cut out all the Gardens in the World; for instead of Singing Birds the Boughs were loaden with whole Flocks of Cupids, who sung a thousand times better than Syrens, or Eunuchs, and made the Air as pleasing to the Ear as it was with the richest Perfumes to the nostrils. This is( cries the Capuchin) the most doleful place of all Purgatory; and yonder poor Solitary Lady is tormented beyond any thing you can expect; Cupid and Death both together shot their Arrows; and her very imagination is wounded with the indelible Idea of her best Beloved; for whose Body she hath prayed more earnestly, than ever he did for her Soul: see how suddenly she is upon her knees, invoking his Tutelar Angel and Namesake Saint, to be kind to him; who is not like the Ancient Amoretto's engaged with Green Dragons, and Giants; but destroying heretics Men Women, and Children: or in the more dangerous exploits of smoking and Drinking.  
I was very desirous to view her exactly( because they say that People in Love are very devout) but she vanished in a gloomy Arbour, and left us to pursue our journey, who were now come into a spacious open place, in the midst of which there stood a May-pole, and about it more Women than a man can see in all the times he lives in the World; and yet I think that there was more Languages, than Nations: Such twittle-twattle, that I thought every one of them had a worm in her tongue, and was just going to run mad. There were 5 or 600 old Women got under a Hedge, and telling such direful Stories of heretics and Hobgoblins, that they almost affrighted one another out of their Wits, and 'twas well they had no hair upon their heads, for if they had had any, it would have stood up, and for ought I know, three or four more such Lies would have metamorphis'd them into Trees. I thought there had been a Carnival in another place, for all the Women were in Masquerade; there were the Bona Roba's of Spain, the Courtezana's of Italy, the Madammoiseils of France, the Jilts, Punks, Holy Sisters, and the Et-cetera's of England. I began to be weary of such impertinent Company, and therefore I hastened as fast as I could; but by the way I was obliged to take notice of a long building like an Hospital; What place is this, said I to the Capuchin? 'tis the Repository of those venerable old Bawds, replies he, who have mightily improved his Holiness's Customs, and for their pains have several Immunities in this place. I had no time to visit it, being directed by the Capuchin, who bid me follow him. We were now come to the foot of a steep and craggy Rock, on the top of which stood, as I thought, an old Saxon Castle. Father, said I, it will be very troublesone for us to climb this place. No, said he, here is good company will recompense your pains; these young Ladies by the way of Penance are obliged to go as far as it is troublesone; at this I turned me, and looked, and 'twas just as he had said; for there were a number of straight Lasses in white Vails, and barefoot, who for some misdemeanour, best known to themselves, and their Confessors, willingly underwent this severe Discipline: we were now almost at the top, when as one of them set down and began to rub her feet with the Palm of her hand, and looking up as if at her devotion, made me imagine that they had a peculiar Predominant Saint for every part of the Body, as the man in the almanac has a Constellatian or Sign in the Zodiac; and therefore I drew nearer her to hear what Saint belonged to the Foot; but she was at the old Exorcism of Out Nettle in Dock. I would willingly have heard a little more, but that I was afraid I should have lost the company of the Capuchin, and of the other Gentleman, who made such hast forward, that they were got to the entrance of that place I took for a Castle, which within was a very handsome and spacious cloister, in which as I walked I kept a distance from several iron Grates, wherein I feared there might be some Ravenous Beasts. As soon as the Capuchin perceived it, You are cried he, more afraid than hurt, go nearer, they are the tamest Creatures in the World, and indeed they were none of the fiercest; for instead of a tiger, or Lion, there sat one of the most beautiful nymphs that ever I had seen; I began to take Courage, for a Stoic would have turned Champion himself to have relieved so comely a Virgin from such undecent restraint; and therefore coming close to the grace, Pray Madam, said I, what is the Reason that you( whose looks discover such a World of Innocency, should thus like a Malefactor reserved for extraordinary tortures) be securely confined? I hope Sir, replied she, you will think my Innocency the Occasion of it, when you shall know that I have suffered this Imprisonment from my Childhood, then which there is no worse Purgatory in Nature, and I assure you that the next thing to Hell is a Nunnery; and therefore I wonder not at the Protestant Ladies who are so Zealous against Popery, which lays such unkind Obligations upon us. But Madam, said I, why do you find fault with what you so solemnly made choice of? Indeed Sir, replied she, my free Will was not then come of Age, and so would any physician in the World say, who know as well as the Pope, for all his Infallibility, or my Father and Mother either. Pray, said I, let me see some Works, which for all your Torments in this place you have curiously wrought, to your great commendation. Because, Sir, says she, you are my Country man, I will show you the best I have: with that she fetched a good Halter; Look you here Sir, said she, this is most excellent work, and very strong. I perceive, Madam, said I, that ye are very kind to your Confessors, for they sometimes in England wear them for your sakes.  
A Bell that rung gave us notice that we should hasten out of this place: just at our going out we heard these words in a sweet tunable Voice,  
For what greater Plague can on Women be laid,  
Then to live a young Virgin, and die an old Maid?  
This young Lady, whoever she is, crys the Gentleman, has been in the Cage a great while, for she sings well: She would sing a great deal better( replied the Capuchin) if she were out. But pray Sir, said he to me, do not stay behind, for if my Lady Abbess catch you alone, she has cruel long Nails, and will scratch your eyes out. This made me keep as close to him as I could, who now lead us into a little Grove encompassed with a very high Wall; but it was so shady, and withall the light we had so like Cloudy Moonshine, that we could but just perceive a Jesuit carelessly walking, and doing 50 antic Postures. Lord Sir, said I, this poor man has certainly been scratched, and is now Meditating Revenge. Oh! Sir, replied he, you are mistaken, he is busied about other things; He is Ordered by his superiors to Preach to the discontented schismatics of England, and my Memory fails me if he be not a York-shire man; I am sure one very like him, whom I have seen at Sevil in Spain, was oftentimes Transported by a rigid Independent, who Traded to Malaga, and knew as certainly that he was a Jesuit, as that he was a man, and at that very time when that Sect was Predominant, and were for whipping the Whore of Babylon till she Pist Blood; and therefore I rather think that he is learning to Cant: But if we retire into this Arbour, we shall overhear him, for he cometh this way. It fell out as I could have wished, for at another Arbour over against us, he stopped, and laying his hand on his Breast.  
'tis true, cries he, she is an heretic, but I love her, I adore her, and what signifies a little heresy among such a World of Perfections? 'tis but the black Patch of the Soul, and like shadows set out the Sun, which hath its Blemishes too: But what is heresy? or what is her heresy? Is she a Quaker, Muggletonian, Adamite, Ranter, Fifth Monarchist, or of the Family of Love? why then she is an heretic of our own making, and I know the worst of her: Is she an Independent? why then she differs from the other just as the elder Sister does from the younger; but suppose she be a Presbiterian, what then? Oh! heart, do not break, prithee, stay a little; why! if Dominion be founded in Grace, she will certainly obey me, and besides we are both of a temper; For does she love Kings Lands, Bishops Lands, Malignants Lands, Houses, Tenements, Hereditaments? so do I with all my heart. Does she hate Princes, Governours, and old fashioned Authority? So do I with all my Spleen: Does she love sour looks, and a speaking Nose? then she will love me; but love is not my chief business; I have a Revenge to gratify, the great concerns of Destruction are committed to my charge: and how shall I save her from the common Ruin( from which none of those fools we make use of shall escape, we will no more own them to be Papists, then they will own themselves now.) Well since I must Preach to them, I had as good learn now. We are the true Israelites, and they the Canaanites, and therefore since we must possess the Land and destroy the Inhabitants, and I must save her, I'll make her an Harlot.  
To her a man of God I'll be,  
And she a Holy Sister unto me.  
At these words he stepped into an Arbour, and I turning to the Gentleman in the Jesuits Habit; Sir, said I, good Sir, if you have any thing else to put on, lay aside this Garb, for certainly they that wear it are the greatest Villains in the World, and yet how like them( now I think of it) are our Separatists? for they are for taking Possession, for destroying the Inhabitants Root and Branch, and in order to it they make use of false expositions of Scripture, for Rahab was not an Harlot in his sense: and therefore I am ready to believe that most of their Teachers in the late times, were Jesuits in Disguise.  
I had no sooner done speaking but out he came: Instead of long Robes he had on a short Geneva Cloak, a starched Band, and his Ears( which were made to stretch like his Conscience in cases of Perjury) began to sprout above the Border of a black and white Cap. I perceived that he could not forbear laughing at his ridiculous Disguise, and little thinking that any body was so near him, he spake as followeth.  

As Jove of Old in Council of the Gods  
Put on grave looks, Divine and Solemn Nods,  
Austeerly managed in the grand Debate  
The great concern of Universal Fate;  
But when retiring he was pleased to breath  
In wanton Revels ore the World beneath,  
In various Shapes and uncouth Forms he came  
To hid and pleasure his unglorious flamme;  
And tho he Masquerading left the sky,  
And Hoofs and Horns concealed his Deity;  
Still he regarded the Supreme Design,  
His Shape was Beastly, but his Power Divine.  
Destructive Thunder did his Hy men sing,  
And Earthquakes danced  
And Tempests roared, and Hurricanes did ring.  
So I, who from the great Cabal of Rome,  
Whence Empires now receive their final Doom,  
To th'other World of heretics remove,  
To taste the pleasures of forbidden Love.  
My Politicians frowns and jealous Eyes  
Which from black thoughts of deep Destruction rise,  
Do change for this more tame, more innocent disguise.  
My Power, my Craft, my Malice is the same,  
Tho' silly looks conceal my dreadful Name.  
At once I'll pleasure my Revenge and Love;  
I hate like Jupiter, I love like Jove.  
But grerter Plagues more Popular Ills shall show  
Themselves from me,  
Since Cupid's Arrows flew from Nola's Bow.   
So away he went, as if he doubled his Obedience to his Order and his Love, and which made him the most blind is not yet determined. As soon as he was gone, I began to consider that this humour in a Jesuit was very different from what he is enjoined by the Rules of his Order; which are, That no Women should come into their Houses, That they should not take the Charge of Nuns,( for they may have the same Fortune the Cordeliers lately had in France) and besides they are obliged by a Vow of perpetual Chastity. But the Capuchin  told me that they might well enough differ from their Rules, which contradict one another, and besides the several Immunities they have procured since their first Institution. Their great Goddess Fransisca Romana( whose Bed where she lay with her Husband was a perpetual Martyrdom, and Shop of Miracles) sufficiently sanctifies all their Irregularities which are in order to their common Interest.  
We followed him with all the expedition imaginable, but we could not overtake him, which made me despair of seeing more of him, until the Capuchin  told us, that he would led us a nearer way to the place where his chief business lay, and indeed it was not long before I heard a noise like the Roaring of the Sea, and coming nearer, we saw a small Vessel ready to Transport all Passengers. Father, said I, tho' the Pope may lay Claim to the mere Mortuum, or the Lemane-Lake, yet I thought these Seas had not been under his Jurisdiction. Oh! replies the Capuchin, do not you know that he pretends to be the Universal Monarch of the whole Globe, and to manifest to the World, That he is the great Leviathan: There have appeared several Monk-Fishes, Frier-Fishes, Nun-Fishes, &c I have heard indeed, replied I, that there is not a Beast on Earth, but hath some Fish that resembles it in the Seas; but pray what Fish will represent a Jesuit? Truly, says he, I do not know that Gesner has ever a Monster fit for that purpose; but to my thinking a Herring is the most like him; for first they go in such Shoals that the Whale is afraid to come too near them. Secondly, they frequent the Coasts of England; and Thirdly, they are never good till they are Pickled, hanged, and Dried: But let me go on with my former Discourse, in which I endeavour to acquaint you with the Popes Neptuneship, which consists in his Jurisdiction over all Minerals of Brimstone, Salt Peter, &c. for he alone does Rule and Govern Salt by the Power of Exorcisms, and can turn it either into Fire or Water, as he please( and as the Poets report of Proteus) and therefore 'tis a Folly for Kings or Princes to pretend any Right to it, when he will not suffer the Sun or Moon to have any thing to do with it; and that Philosopher that shall ever hereafter affirm, That the Sun is any way the cause of its Saltness, shall be as sure of an Anathema, as he that held the Antipodes: For let a man observe, and an ordinary man will soon perceive the reason why it is fresher in the Frigid Zones then 'tis in the Temperate, when as there are so many Thousands of Monks and Jesuits in the latter to one in the former: So great a Jurisdiction does he claim o'er all Waters, that he will Rig out a Fleet the next Jubilee to cruse in the Waters above the Firmament, wherein he thinks some heretics may Rove; but as for these particular narrow Seas he pretends a Right to them ever since they were the Purgatory to the Invincible Armada, to which he was Godfather, and which, because it did not fight valiantly against England, Scotland, and Ireland, the Winds and Seas dashed in pieces, and swallowed up, and Fought for heretics,  
He would have gone on with his Discourse, but that we were ordered to Land; being now come ashore, we climbed up a steep Hill, the top of which entertained us with a Prospect, which moved me the most to Compassion of any thing that ever I had seen in all my days. We saw great and rich Corn-fields and Plantations utterly trodden down, as if the Hunns and Vandals had lately Visited them, whilst the miserable Inhabitants Cursed and Ban'd those for whom they had lately prayed. Then at a distance we could see great and Populous Towns and Cities in flames, the enraged Soldiers fighting through Blood, Fire, and smoke at once to gratify their Covetousness and Revenge, whilst those few that escaped them carried away nothing but Wounds and heavy hearts: Then on the other hand lay slaughtered Legions, and groaning Armies, which dissolved into carcases in a Moment, and enriched the Soil with their Blood and Marrow, which needed no such Improvements. Not far off were a numerous Rabble Triumphing and Insulting over grave and Reverend Personages, whom after various Affronts and Indignities, they basely Murdered; here Widdows stupied and silent with Grief, there Orphans drowned in Tears; now we might see men committing unspeakable villainies, Rapes, and Murders, and anon sighing and groaning at a Zealous Lecture, where their Blasphemous Nonsense was as intolerable as the Noise of their Guns was fatal. Bless me! cried I, what place is this? surely the very farthest place of all Purgatory, and the very next to Hell itself. This is, replies the Capuchin, the Peopledom of Puritania, or to be short, it was the State of Great britain in the late Civil Wars, which were begun and carried on by the Jesuits: Now because they did not work to that end they designed them, and that in several Occurrences( which a wise man may easily observe) they had carried on their business a great way( which for a time was utterly quashed in the Restauration) yet when they perceived the old Leaven still remain, and the old Humour still to be worked upon, they thought it convenient to begin again, well knowing that for all the Noise against Popery, and the losses that many private catholics sustained, yet they were still the Gainers by those too numerous proselytes they won in our Confusions, and that the Church of England, the only great and main Bulwark against the Church of Rome, is weakened by them. Father, said I, I observe that the main Arguments the Jesuits and Romish Priests used to persuade men to embrace the Romish Faith( after they had ruined the Government of the Church of England) were, That there was no visible Church among us, &c. The other consisted in inveighing against us, under the name and Notion of Protestantanism, into which they had crammed all the Enthusiasms of Europe, and Heresies of the last Age; and thus they thought they had utterly baffled the Church of England with the new fashioned Sophism of Comprehension. New fashioned one! cries the Capuchin, 'tis an old fashioned one, for in the year 1583 there was a Book Printed at Paris, Written by Raynolds a Student at rheims, against ●hitaker▪ wherein he goes the same way to work, but he has one Argument which is now utterly Abrogated. What is that, pray Father, said I? Why replies he, observe in his Conclusion, Pag. 556 He does not only Charge the Protestants that they give infinite variety and differences of Religions, disordered Congregations, Sheep controling their Pastors, and Scholars presuming to teach their Masters, but, says he, in the Civil Common-wealth, disobedience against the Magistrate, Contempt of Princely Authority, Spoil and ruin of Churches and palaces, of all things Sacred and profane. I Remember Sir, said I, that I have red the Preface to that Book, in which he complains that 'tis very hard for them to know what to refel or dispute against, because of the continual Change and variety among us; but he is pleased to quote Dr. Whitegift, affirming it of the Puritans, and so it cannot properly be objected against the Church of England, which since its Establishment is as little Guilty of Innovation as of Rebellion. But the Church of Rome, cries the Capuchin, is Guilty of both, for it Teacheth and Preacheth that Rebellion which it Condemned in the Protestants, in the Lutherans of Germany, the Hussits of Bohemia, and the Calvenists in France, and of which it falsely accused the Church of England. Now, cries he, suppose there was a general Conventicle of all the inspired Bigots and Enthusiasts in Europe, and suppose them to meet after they had Dieted on nothing but Coleworts for six Weeks, yet would they not vent so many wild Phantasms and disagreeing frenzies, as the Consistory of Rome has different Projects; no, the Devil himself has not so many shapes in his Wardrobe of Darkness; for if you go along with me, ten thousand to one but I show you some of them put in practise.  
I willingly followed him, because he lead us towards a place which was not altogether so dismal, yet there was a hideous noise, and espying a great multitude in the Fields, near a Town, I thought they were imitating the Siege of jericho, until coming somewhat nearer, I perceived they had almost finished the 151 Psalm, which begins.  From Turk and Pope defend us Lord. 
As soon as we came up to the skirts of the Congregation, they had done singing, and the Preacher had begun his Prayer, of which we could not distinguish one Syllable, and yet the Company about us was very Devout, only one man seemed more at leisure to Answer the Capuchin, who asked him how long they had been singing, and whereabout they began. Sir, said he, I have turned it down, if you please to see. With that the Capuchin red softly.  To Bind their Stately Kings in Chains, Their Lords with Iron Bands. 
The Capuchin smiled on me, but observing that Mr. Predicant had ended his Prayer, and had now begun his Sermon, we resolved to hear some of it, tho' we ventured a Piece of the outward Man. The Throng was very great, and the Geneva-Bibles very numerous, and they too began to swell and take up room with Proofs and Dogs-ears: nevertheless we got so near that to my great amazement the Speaker proved the very same person we had lately seen in the Jesuits Habit, and lately seen in the Jesuits Habit, and who Transforming himself like Jove, spoken so like an heroic Lover, and was going to Propagate his Gallantry. His style was as different from the former as his Garb, and altho' I could not learn his Text, which probably might be taken out of Wits Common Wealth, yet that part of his discourse which I heard was to this effect.  
Ye are the Lords people, my Beloved, his secret ones; ye, I say, are his chosen Vessels in the days when the tall Cedars were humbled, and the meek of the Earth pulled down the Mighty; how did poor Conscience rejoice when it was set at Liberty? Yea verily it was waggish it did so exult: In those days the Power( a Cordial thing for Conscience) my Beloved, was emptied into several Vessels, and those Vessels were the best that would hold the most: Ye were poor weak Vessels, but being empty, would hold a great deal: Oh! what a joyful striving was there to fill the empty Vessels? I say, when the Power was spilled on the ground, how pleasant was it for the Babes of Grace to scramble, as it were, for it after a Godly sort: For to you, to you, my Beloved, belong all these outward things; to you, the Lords Saints, belong his Creatures, to you belong the Gold, the Silver, the Brass, the Pewter, the Copper, the led, the Wood, the ston, the— the Hemp, and every precious thing; and ye enjoyed all those things in the days of Zion, but now these are the days of babylon: for now Popery, accursed babylonish Outlandishness does abound, and therefore these good things are in the hands of the Wicked, and are employed in Building high Places, Monuments, and Idols. Beloved, Wood and ston and lead were not Ordained to make Idols, but for the good of Mankind to make Bullets and Castles. And yet, O Lord! these wicked Image-mongers and Idol-Wrights say that we are Popish, Beloved. What do you think the Lard will say when he hears of these things? Oh! therefore pled his Cause, your own Cause, the good Old Cause; show yourselves not to be Popish, in destroying every Popish thing, in plucking it up, in pulling it down, up and down, my Beloved, the Lord will not only like your Zeal, but the Pope himself, after his Conversion, will thank you for it, yea ye will thank yourselves for it. And therefore let the Youth, the young Youth pull down Bawdy Houses, those Suburbs of babylon the Harlot; Let Porters, holy Porters, men used to great Burdens, help to carry on the Lords work. For my part I have laboured both openly and in private, as is well known to the Saints, for a Reformation: I have withstood the Beast face to face; I have Confounded his Language, a Language, my Beloved, that will Blister all true Protestant Tongues, and Rot their Teeth: now there is a great deal of this Language in the Common-Prayer-Book, for Episcopal men say it in Latin, only they cast a Mist before your Eyes that can behold nothing that is Popish. Oh! my Beloved, have a care of that Book, for if you lay it under your Pillow, you will certainly dream of the Pope; if you set it next your Bibles, it will certainly run away with them, or at least fetch all the Clasps off. Beloved, the Bishops use it, and by a certain Spell in it, will turn themselves from coal-black to Milk-white in a Moment. If this Idol and its Worshippers be not pulled down and destroyed, in vain do we Preach, in vain do ye Pray against Popery and Popelings, which are now coming upon us as the philistines were upon samson. Let us therefore break those Cords wherewith our hands are tied, for if we lye still till our heads are shaved by the Witchcraft of this Dalilah, then shall we be as other men: Take therefore Jeremiahs advice, who was no Episcopal man, Come let us join ourselves in a perpetual Covenant, which shall never be forgotten.  
As soon as he had spoken these words, there was a great hurly burly in the Crowd, and such a confused Noise, that he was forced to leave off. He looked so pale on a suddeen, and all the People about us were put into such a Consternation, that I wondered what was the matter, and looking round about me, I perceived the Company began to disperse themselves confusedly, some this way, some that; I thought the Conventicle might be disturbed by the care of the Magistrates, whose coming might cause such a panic fear, and therefore turning to the Capuchin, Sir, said I, I believe we shall be put in Limbo for our Curiosity by and by; but I do not much care, if we can but have the Speakers Company. They do no more fear the coming of a Justice of the Peace, replied the Capuchin, then of a living Crocodile, some thing else is the Business. He had no sooner done speaking but there was a great Cry, Arm, Arm, Arm, the French, the Spaniard, the Anakims are coming: some reported that they heard great noises of heavens, and Tempets under Ground, which seemed to confirm the News of the great Vault that was digging from St. Omers to Colchester: others swore they dreamed it, and therefore were very sure that it was true. Some talked of flying Armies, and invisible Dragoons; others were telling dire Portents, others reading old Revelations, and strange Prophesies of unusual Revolutions, which disposed them to dark thoughts and melancholy Apprehensions; and after they were thus curiously prompted to run mad, and had left their employments in a Tumultuous manner, there was a strange and sudden Rumour, That the great Scarlet Whore was coming with a mighty Army that had saucer Eyes and long Claws, which put them into such an horrible Fright, that they could no longer be kept in order by their wiser Governors, whom they were ready to destroy, because they would have quieted them, and that under the notion of favouring Popery. But when News was borough that these strange Monsters were at the Towns end, never did the Passion of fear act its part in such variety as among these people; Some were desperate and ready for a Sally; others considered that a Truce with Mammon upon necessity would be convenient, and therefore were disposing themselves in Order to it; and to that end one was making a Crucifix, others had got old Mass-Books, and others were learning have Maria, and the Pater Noster: But among the rest, I observed an Aged Zealot( who had groaned fervently at the Conventicle) with a Common-Prayer-Book in her hands, which she hugged and kisst most Devoutly; but when one of her Acquaintance  told her that she would find never the more Mercy upon the account of that Book, and that if she had never a Mass-Book, she had better take the Directory, she scornfully threw it against the Ground, saying, Get thee gone thou Carnal Idol, I see the Saints must never put their Trust in thee.  
The Capuchin and I were resolved to know the true occasion of this disturbance, and therefore we hastened to get out of Town as fast as we could; but before we had gone a quarter of a Mile, we were stopped by a mighty Multitude, who had secured 14 or 15 poor Gipsies, and three or four Germans with Rare Shows; they Insulted and Triumphed over them, and threatened them, some Marching before, some behind, with Clubs and Glaves Erected, and sometimes out of perfect Proess bid them stand in the Kings Name, then for diversion bid them hasten forward until they were brought before the Magistrate to be examined; who finding them to be what they were, dismissed them with what they deserved: but when the Rabble understood that they were only poor Fortune-tellers, and not at all given to Superstition, they very zealously flocked about them to know what was predestined for them. The Germans had not so quick a dispatch, for many a long time doubted what those little Images in their Boxes did mean, and were searching for the Mark of the Beast upon them, until the forementioned Preacher, who was purposely at hand,( and under the notion of a Licence in Dutch, received a Letter of Intelligence from his Society)  told the people that they were innocent poor men, that those were only Dutch works, and did represent Protestant Princes; upon which they were Peaceably dismissed.  
Altho' this Tumult and Uproar was well quieted, yet I perceived that these people were miserable Subject to unreasonable fears and jealousies, and were perpetually tormented with the Scar-Crows of their wild Imaginations, which made them not only the most unhappy, but the most unpleasant people in the World, and I desired the Capuchin not to stay any longer in this place. He was as willing to be gone as myself, because he was willing to Communicate some things to me, but we could not find a conveniency of discoursing for fear of being overheard, until we came into a Solitary place, a great distance from the Town. I then asked him what end the Jesuits had in rendering the very name of Popery thus odious to the Common People. So long, replied he, as they do conceal the nature of it from them, they will bring it in under another name, and that by overthrowing every thing that Diametrically oppose it under that Notion. But we see the Reasons of it in the effects it produces; for after that their intended Violence by Papists and foreigners was prevented, and all their bloody Intrigues discovered( the surprising relation of which, put the whole Kingdom ininto a Consternation) the several Divisions, which they had before fomented and prepossessed with a false and scandalous Opinion of the Church of Englands Inclination to Arbitrary Government and Popery, looked upon the established Authority with jealous eyes, and by their separate Counsels and hasty and disproportionable Resolutions, rendered the Government uncapable of taking that wise and orderly course with such base and cruel Traytors, as the known Laws of the Land Justifies; that thus whilst two Neighbours foolishly contend, not only the Thief, but the Murderer too, might steal away.  
Nor is this the only After-Game they designed, but moreover by increasing unreasonable Fears and Jealousies, and by thus taking away the Succours of Reason of State they might precipitate the whole Nation into those Absurdities, which if not timely rectified, might end with what they designed to begin, the Blood and ruin of King and People( which God forbid.) And to that end they Magnified the Plot themselves, by undeserved and scandalous Aspersions and Reflections upon great and Loyal Personages; and the schismatics were made to believe that all the conformists in the Kingdom were inclinable to favour them too: Now this is no new trick; for Mr. Pryn that seized the Archbishop of Canterbury's Papers, and found the discovery of the Plot designed against the Kingdom of England by the Jesuits under Cardinal Barbarino, basely abused the Archbishop and King, as Privy themselves to that Plot( which they a while kept secret in order to a clearer discovery) until the King was forced to leave London, and oppose as formidable an Enemy; and though it was evident that that Scottish Rebellion was raised by the Jesuits in order to their designs, yet were those very Rebels afterwards kept up and maintained by the Parliament against the King. In vain can the Church expect to be free from that Calumny which reached so glorious a King, the Defender of it, and such an excellent Prelate, a Father of it; to manifest whose Integrity and Innocency, nothing more could have been done under Heaven that they did not do, being both Martyrs of it. But what is it that some Men will not believe? Just a little before the discovery of the Plot, I heard a person of no mean Quality affirm, That there was no difference but in words insignificant between the Church of Rome and of England; but I do assure you he had little logic about him at that time, and less Divinity, and immediately after he forfeited all his History, in saying that King James was inclined to Popery. What is it, I say, that disaffected, vain, and Fanatical men will not say or do? Why may not any man as well say that the Church of England is Popish, as that the Presbiterians were no Rebels? Some would be ready to swear it, if it were not for an unlucky hint in the Lord Cooks Institutes, page. 12, who speaking of all kind of Treasons, saith, Preparation by some Over-Act to depose the King, or take him by force and strong hand, and to Imprison him until he hath yielded to certain Demands, this is a sufficient Over-act to prove the Imagination and compassing the death of the King, this is to make the King a Subject, and to despoil him of his Kingly Office. The Presbiterians were notoriously guilty of this, they Imprisoned King Charles I. in several places, and at last in the Isle of Wight. Now what will the Presbiterians say to this? why, they will say, they were so affrighted with the thoughts of Popery, that they did not know what they did, altho' it was what the Pope himself would have them.  
But pray Father, said I, interrupting him, do not they accuse us of Popery for retaining some Ceremonies and decent Rites still in use in that Church?  
Why, replied he, they are very necessary, convenient, &c. in the Body of Divinity, and therefore because the Pope has two Toes, I should cut off mine from the Body Natural. But pray let me go on with my Discourse; there is another thing that affrights them most horribly, and that is, That the Church of England favours Arbitrary Government; Indeed those that are such Enemies to Monarchy will object any thing against those who will maintain and defend it: and yet I am sure that a true Father or Son of the Church of England will be no more assistant in the introducing tyranny and Oppression, then they have been in promoting Rebellion; for tho' he would be ever so Loyal as to give Caesar his due, yet he will never give him that which is not, he is so like the Ancient Christians that he will die before he will resist his Lawful Prince, or actively obey him in any thing that is as positively forbidden as it is to Rebel against him, or to resist him upon any account. Therefore as the King of England would be the most mighty Prince in Christendom were his Subjects all of the Church of England, so the people would be the most happy on Earth, since they should neither need to fear Tyranny or Popery either at home or abroad: Nothing but our Divisions and Separations occasion these fears; and nothing occasion them but the Jesuits, the Devil, and the Spleen, and therefore let but any man red the History of the Kingdom of England, and he will find the vast difference between the Church of Rome and of England, in the several troubles and Fatal Discords that either arose, or were promoted by Popish Deposings, Interdicts, and Excommunications, from the Conquest to the Reformation; and the times and Transactions since show us how the Presbiterians, Independents, &c.( those great Anti-anti-Christians) differ from it too, for they count it lawful to resist and oppose and compel Christian Princes, and in order to it make what they please unlawful. Thus like the old Pharisees they strain at a Gnat and swallow a Camel.  
Father, said I, they themselves are most like the Papists, and deal with this Doctrine as they do with the Decalogue, take away one Commandment, and subdivide the other into unnecessary distinctions  
They differ from them, replies the Capuchin, as the Persians do from the Turks, are great Enemies, but both Musselmen. Thus do they endeavour by all means to ruin that Church by Violence, whose great glory is, that it was Reformed without it; nor do they want fit Instruments to carry on their designs, even among those that profess themselves most their Enemies; And those generally are such whose Fortunes are but mean, or who have not been Encouraged by the Church or State, as they think they deserve. It is remarkable that the great Preachers and Promoters of the late Rebellion were Country School-Masters, poor Vicars, and Curates, whose Parts were too mean and confused to appear in public in a Peaceable and quiet Kingdom, and therefore took the Compendious way of Rising by Disorders and Confusions; and many who were Persons of better note, upon the account of supposed Injuries, and Disappointments, fell off from their Duty and Allegiance; but to all these are added now those Aged Politico's, Old Rebels fat with Plunder and Sequestration, who hope that the next Return of the Saints shall be so lasting, that they shall not stand in need of a second Carnal Act of indemnity. Now, said the Capuchin, smiling on me, since you have been so kind as to accompany me thus far, I will show you how the Pope has disposed of their Reverend Cooperators who are marched off; for beyond those smoking Rocks which you see on your Left Hand,( through which there is a dark and winding Passage lately found out) stands a ruined Cathedral like that of St. Paul's, at the West-end of which lies the Effigies of King Charles I. fallen on the ground, and at the Entrance two men in armor, but the one is Cardinal Barbarino, the other Cardinal Richlieu, who will easily admit us upon a pretence I have ready made. I found all things according to the Capuchin's promise, but at our entrance into the place( which was larger then the Synod-House at Dort) I was amazed to see the whole Committee sitting intermixed with some of the Assembly of Divines. Father, said I, were these silly ill looked dirty Senators chosen by the Shires and Corporations? No, replied he, they are the Knights and Burgesses of the several Religious in England, Scotland, and Ireland, the Orcades, and Hebrides. Here is a World of them, Sir, said I. There is, replied he, a whole Barn full more of them a little way off, and some of them are privately retired to Bedlam. But, Pray Sir, said I, what does Oliver cronwell represent? what Religion? For he sets yonder behind them all, somewhat advanced upon a kind of a Throne. You shall see immediately, cries the Capuchin. He had no sooner answered me, but there entred seven or eight yellowish Olive-Coloured Men. I thought it had been an embassy from the Moors, until one of them, the most ancient, stepping forwarder then rest, spake as followeth.  
We the dispersed Jews, having for many Ages preached all the Corners of the World for our long expected messiah, did think that we had at last found him in you, from several remarkable occurrences, wherein you seemed to fulfil our Cabala in raising up this most Renowned Sanhedrim, by the Advice and Assistance of those your rabbis, who do not only in words testify their good-will to Zion, but also by the Circumcision of their Heads denote the same thing; under these you have overthrown the Kings of the Earth, and have terrified the Gentiles of Rome; and therefore when you had thus Auspiciously blown up the Trumpet in Zion, we came over to your Protection, who after we had presented you with many Talents of the Gold of the Land of Havilah, you neither refused us, nor our Old-Testament Gold; but you neither fulfilled our Prophesies, nor your own Promise; for altho' you  told us that the Church of Paul( by reason of the Idol-Worship of the Church of England) was somewhat too babylonish for a Synagogue at the present, and that when the Lords Horses had stood some longer time, it would be fitter for us, yet we are further off now then ever, for now( in opposition to us) the Gentiles of London are Building their second Temple far more glorious then the first.  
As soon as he had made his Grievance they retired, and the Capuchin turning to me, in my Conscience, cries he, I believe these Jews will buy the Moon one of these days, when she is in the Wan and at the cheapest, and these Saints have such a Right to the Creature, that they will sell them it, for 'tis not long since they were for puchasing Harlemmeer.  
The Jews were no sooner gone, but there was a Quaker in their Room, who made his speech without his Address, which was to this effect,  
And to you, Oh Friends! is my Speech directed, to let you know the Evil of our days, for now we are in darkness by reason of oppressing Ordinances, which enjoin us to pull off our Hats, to pay Tithes, &c. the first is a Popish way of Worshipping one another; and therefore we have a sore desire and longing to be freed from these things; and although to hid our designs we have Procured a good friend to vindicate us, yet none of the Lords people have been so zealous as we: For did not friend Green in the 12 Month in the year 1662. warn the Parliament to let Peoples Consciences alone? yea with threatenings of many Enemies he warned them; and who ever in the days of Battle behaved themselves so like mighty men as we did? and would do again if we had a motion to it; But how little do we help Episcopal men? for now we disclaim the shedding of Blood upon any account; by which means we are not at all serviceable to Kingly Government; to which we are greater Enemies, than if we were sworn Enemies; We do not give any assistance to any public Concern; and never use the Law but to chastise those who defend it: We drink Charles his Health, and do not drink the Kings; a Conveniency the Jesuits themselves borrowed of us, when at their deaths thus protested they had no design to Kill the King, but would have killed Charles. So that whereas some say we are beholding to the Jesuits, we say they are beholding to us. Some base Malignants paint us with Windmills on our heads, and with Mares in our hands, whom therefore we account Idolatrous, and given to Pictures.  
He would have gone on but that a slender tall thing, like a Devil in a Hop-sack came behind him, and almost affrighted him out of his Wits, three or four of the Committee crossed themselves before they were ware; but I perceived it was only a Man wrapped up in Blankets, from whose Mouth and Nose, the only visible parts about him, came these words:  
Verily, Oh Reverend Sages! I appear before you in this Place, that ye may see, and know the sad Condition of the Saints at this day, who are so far from a toleration, that they are bound by Cardinal Ordinances even in the Grave: I am in this Garb by reason of an Act, commonly called, The Flannel Act, which forces us whose Bodies are as tender as our Consciences to be butted not in Flax, not in Hemp, but in Wool. Ye all knew how little the Saints love sheeps-clothing, or the Babes of Grace delight in Blankets; but moreover this is a Pagan Ordinance, from three Pagan Spinsters, Clotho, Lachesis,& Atropos; nay Jason, that old Heathen, was a Woolman. Nay, what is worse, 'tis Popish, for did not the Pope sand a Token of Consecrated Blankets but the other day to the Empress of Popish Germany? but this is not all the Popery that infests England, poor Old England, I wish it were New England; but there are many other dangerous signs of it: for now even the People of the Land go a Whorig after Cuffs made of Popish Beads; and in opposition to your Protestantships, there is a Juncto of Carnal Philosophers, called the Royal Society, who would improve your Trades that ye might not mind the things of Grace, and Dominion. The very name of them is Popish; but that's not all, for they do Popish Miracles; they have Brazen Oracles, Speaking-Trumpets filled with the Language of the Beast, wherewith they can say Mass, which shall be heard an hundred Miles, and which noise is as fatal to the Ears of Saints, as the sight of Basilisks to their Eyes; to our Ears, I say, which after that the Carnal Law of the Land was abolished did grow and spread into Types of our Adoption, and Symbols of our Covenant, and unasinimity: but besides this, they have Stills, and what do ye call-ums, to make holy Water, which indeed are nothing else but the Whore of Babylons Pisspots. These are great Grievances; but this one more afflicts us than all the rest, that the Wicked after all affirm us to be most of all Popish. Indeed Popery is a Pestilence, and we cannot help Infection; but Poor Conscience bid us utterly deny it for her sake, who hath done as good turns for our sakes; and therefore we are as true to her as to the Covenant, which some of us maintain by Renouncing.  
We must confess that the Jesuits have been in our Assemblies; for we cannot Reform oftener than they can transform; which put the Saints into such fears that they dream of nothing but Monks and Nuns, and such horrible things all night; and look under their Beds, and in the Collars of their Doublets, for Priests, and Jesuits, who they say can now certainly turn themselves into Night-mares and He-Cats, and suck out all their Protestant Breath; these dreadful things disturb our Peace, and there is no redress; for our Petitions have no end, and all our holy Fibs are brought to nought: In a word, we are such miserable Saints, that we have not the happiness to be Militant: Ye yourselves, most honourable Sages, are not free from this imputation; for 'tis certain that the Pope has been among you ever since your first Session.  
This last Sentence put the whole Committee into such a Consternation, that they never had so much sense to so few words in their lives, so that they were all silent for a long time; until Goodman Speaker arose, and with 16 Hums, and 15 Groans, adjourned them for that time.  
They hastened out with all speed imanagible, fearing, as some suppose, that the Pope might lye under some Chair with his Pockets full of Gunpowder; and the Capuch. took me by the hand; and after he had lead me into a pleasant, shady-place, free from noise and company( where whilst I was viewing the neighbouring Rocks,( which were very like a great many I had seen before) he was transformed into the shape of an aged hermit, his Beard seemed to grow like the famous Abbess of Cordubas's Hair, and leaning on a Staff, he spake as followeth.  

Wonder not at this sudden Change you see,  
Wonder less at the Worlds Inconstancy;  
Wonder at nothing that an Age does bring;  
Since Charles a Martyr died, because a King:  
At nothing Atheists, or bold Rebels say,  
Since Jesuits preached, and Presbyters did pray:  
For since Religion itself is made  
A mask to Vallany, and common Trade;  
Rebellion too Antiquity does pled;  
The Aged Sun nothing more strong shall see,  
But all the self same sad variety:  
For all the mischiefs that shall e'er arise,  
Are still old Evils, but in new disguise;  
Old Lusts, old Pride, old Fears and Jealousies,  
The restless Ghosts of old departed Heresies,  
Are the true Causes of all Plagues that come  
From Flesh, and Blood, from Hell, Geneva Rome.  
Therefore,  
Projects, Cabals, Intrigues shall never cease,  
This Kingdom never, never shall have Peace,  
Till Treason by its Reward is dreadful Grown,  
And 'vice by its Just Punishment is known;  
Till ignorant bold Zeal is kept in awe,  
As 'twas of old by Thunder and the Law.   
As soon as he had said these words, he let fall a scroll open from his hand, in which, as it were with Letters of Blood, was written, Rome Reformed, and betwixt a frown and a smile he vanished, and I awaked, &c.  
FINIS.   

Some Books Printed for Henry broom.  

DR. Comber's Paraphrase on the Common Prayer, in four Volumes in Octavo.  
Seneca's Morals in three Vol. Octavo.  
Dr▪ Heylin on the Creed, in Folio.  
The Fathers Legacy to his Friends, containing the whole Duty of Man.  
Dr. Du-Moulin's Week of Prayers.  
Christianity no enthusiasm.  
Dr. Woodford on the Psalms.  
— His Divine Poems.  
The Guide to Eternity.  
Precepts and Practical Rules for a Truly Christian Life.  
Mr, Camfield's Discourse of Angels.  
The Reformed catholic, or the Love of Jesus.  
The Lives of the Grand Viziers.  
The History of the Savarites.  
Bp. Wilkins Real Character in Fol.  
— His Natural Religion.  
The History of the Irish Rebellion in Fol.  
The Life of the Great Duke Espernon.  
Montluck's Commentaries, Fol.  
Bp. Cousens against Transubstantiation.  
Mr. Simpson's Compendium of music.  
Dr. Combers Advice to Roman catholics.  
Dr. lloyds several Sermons and Tracts in Defence of the Church.  
Dr. Spratt's four Sermons.  
— His Plague of Athens.  
Speed's Maps in Folio and Octavo.  
Six Witty Conversations,  
Pharmacopoeia Londinensis, in Fol.  
Spencers Works, in Fol.  
Mr Banister's airs.  
Dr. Whitby against Host Worship.  
The Fair one of Tunis.  
Barbett's practise of physic.  
Vossius of the Winds and Seas.  
Pool's Parnassus in English.  
The scholars Guide from the Accidence to the University.  
Mr. saracens Works.  
Cent●m Fabulae.  
Anatomy of the Elder.  
Artis Oratoriae.  
Sk●nner's L●xicon in Fol.  
Education of Children▪  
Sir Kenelm Digby's Receipts.  
Virgil Tr●ve●●y.  
Lucian Burelsque.  
The Exact Constable.  
The Planters Manual.  
The complete Gamester.  
Dr. Glissons Anatomy.  
Glisson's Common Law Epitomis'd.  
Dr. Ford's Sermons on the Man whose Legs and Arms rotted off.  
Seneca's Morals.  
Erasmus Col. in English.  
Tully's Offices in English.  
Five Love-Letters.  
toleration Discussed.  
Mr. Claget against Dr. own, in two Parts.  
Bromes Songs and Poems.  
— His Horace, with others.  
Lord Castelhaven's memoirs.  
Sir Philip Meadow's Wars of Sweden and Denmark.