Mercurius Verax:  
OR THE PRISONERS PROGNOSTICATIONS For the Year 1675.  
Wherein are Prophesied Several TRUTHS of very great Moment, yet to come to pass: Which, he that contradicts, let him have a care he does not find them true by EXPERIENCE.  
By the Author of the first Montelion, and satire against Hypocrites.—  {αβγδ}. 
LONDON, Printed for R. Cutler. 1675.   

The Explanation of the almanac.  
HAving on the upper part the Months, and under them the figures for the days of the Month, from 1 till 31. under them your Dominical Letters, and in the lower part the Letters for the days of the week, from Sunday to Saturday; on each side you have the year of our Lord from 1660 till 1687. on each side them is your Dominical Letters. Now to know your day, first, find out your year, next your Dominical Letter against that year, which letter find in the lower part of the almanac, and the letter under this is the day of the week for your observation for the whole year. Only every Leapyear you have two Dominical Letters, which you must observe, the first for January and February, and the next for all the year after.  
IN the year 1660, you find the letters AG. A directs you to Saturday for January and February, and G. to Sunday for all the year after: so that you find the first Saturday in January is the 7 day, and under that Saturdays for that Month, and under February 4, which are saturdays for that Month: But in March you must observe G. which directs you to Sunday, so that the first Sunday in March is the fourth day, and so you reckon forward. April and July, the first Sunday is the first day of the Month, and so of the rest. In the year 1661. you find your Dominical letter F. which directs you to Monday, which is your Observation for that year, and so you find the rest: and when you are at 1687. you may begin again.  

A perpetual almanac.  Domin letters Year of our Lord Apr Sep. Jun Mar August May. January.     July Dec   Nov * *       Feb.   Oct. * * A G 1660 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 4 D F 1 5 C E 2 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 6 B A D 3 7 G C B 4 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 8 F A 5 9 E G 6 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 1680 D C F 7 1 B E D 8 29 30 31 * * * * 2 A C 9         3 G B 1670 G F E D C B A 4 F E A 1 5 D G F 2 S M T w T F S 6 C E 3 1687 B   

General Judgments on the Year 1675.  
SOme Men took a great deal of Notice of the Year 1666, perhaps more than they needed; and therefore we have thought fit to take as much Notice of the year 1675. We do find Mercury in a plaguy dull humour, looking like a Fellow without money: Many Astrologers are of opinion that he had over-wrought himself or overdrank himself the night before; whatever be the Cause, it portends most mischievous Events, especially the Breaking and Undoing of many sorts of People, more especially among those two Degrees called the Gentry and Commonalty of the Nation. For when men begin to find themselves in debt, then they eclipse themselves, of which there will be many to be seen in our horizon, but of that more hereafter. Never does a man come to have his worth known till then, for a sergeant or a bailiff shall dig him out of the Earth, with as much Diligence as if he were the Oar of Mexico; and never ceases till he has hide him again in some obscure place or other, never to be found, but, by chance, like a Pot of old Roman coin: But the deuce is in that sullen piece of Formality, Madam Astrea, who having the scales of the World in her own hands, will notwithstanding neither keep public nor private Fortune equal; which makes many a man cry the Devil rot him, if he ever he had such cruel Fortune in his life, to see Dice run against him as if they were in open Hostility with his Patrimony. And yet the bewitched Coxcomb will never give off till his Estate and his Cloak lies both in the Lumber together; poor Squire in Cuerpo, stripped out of his means, as the Countrie-man calls it, as a man would uncase a rabbit. This scabby humour, like the Itch, runs up and down the City, abounding with the Off-spring of the Gentry, with more fury then the Sicilian fire overran the Country about Messina; so that in every street there are scarce any other Lamentations to be heard, but of the ill husbandry of the Masters, the Prodigality of Servants, till at length they fall into the Common shures of poverty, Fleet, Kings-Bench, Counters or Ludgate; where they will never leave their old wont neither, but play at One and thirty for Farthings rather than stick out. 'twas well Juno, the Devil of a Goddess for Envy and Emulation, was made none of the Planets, and yet, by the Sequel of Influences, either she, or some other as bad as her self, has, a vengeance, great power in the sky; most probable to be that Jezabel Venus; for women are so outrageously mad to see one Neighbour finer then another, that many men are forced to pawn their Consciences, as well as their Credits for one story of Lace more upon their Wives Petticoats: As if women thought mens fancies did not climb fast enough without such a Love-ladder. But how can these Women think to thrive? for no sooner are their husbands in the Climm, but reflecting upon the cause of their Sorrow, they curse 'em to the pit of Hell, for two causes; first, because they will never come near them, after they have sucked their Counter tills as dry as their Bones: secondly, when they do come, 'tis always with Taunts in their mouths, and so gay withall, that they do but the more enrage the Creditors that sees them go so fine with their money.  
There is another most malevolent Aspect, very active in the notching the Credit of some that would be thought Aldermens fellowes, men that make a great noise upon the Exchange: Which is the reason that this year many shall be seen to fall from the pinnacle of their Countrie-houses to a Lodging in the Rules at three shillings a week: but there is a great difference between those that are gathered to their fathers and these dead men in law, for the one carries nothing along with them, these will let nothing that they have got slip out of their clutches; these Prison-Pismires are such as have laid aside all their Credit for the Reputation of being diligent providers against the winter of their misfortune. Some think the Conjunction of Mars and Venus to be a great enemy to the prosperity of these men; for that they plodding only how to get Estates and cheat their Creditors, grow quiter regardless of Love and Honour. Yet some Astrologers there are that shrewdly suspect Cepheus to have a finger in the Pie, because he sits in such a musing Posture in his groaning Chair: though some say, Men are now grown so knowing in practical Knavery, that they need nothing of his celestial Theory to make them more expert. Others believe that Fortune being a Whore her self could never endure any that were grown old and had left the Trade. Others believe the Influence not so fatal, while the propitious Conjunction of other men's Estates in their own hands, in Mortgage, contributes so much to their own Happiness Yet shall their Creditors think the Stars too favourable, and curse them as bitterly as ever person cursed Meroz. What shall the poor stars do? the Creditors curse them for being too kind, the rich Debtors curse them for not being kind enough: Thus ye see the Stars of Heaven, as well as the Stars upon Earth, are subject to Scandal and hard Words, and hard Usage: Nay, and if Mortals could but reach them, you would find their glittering Spheres as much battered as the Windows of Van Putten's House in Holland. But what malicious Planet that is which pesecutes the Poor journey-men Taylors, Weavers, cobblers, Tinkers, Butchers, and the lower Tribe of Masters, most Astrologers are at a stand to discover; some say, 'tis Aquarius, a certain son of a Tankard-bearer, translated into the Zodiac for giving meate, drink and lodging to some poor Poet. If it be he, he is as testy as Justice Overdoe, and as great a Pretender to Reformation; for much about this time you will find abundance of that sort of cattle, before mentioned, suffer under his Mittimus, merely for their extravagant Propensity to put and Nine-Pi●s. These men at length become the Gibbeonites of the Prison at the devotion either of the Constables of the Counters, or the Stewards of Ludgate, or else make Skewers in the Common side of the Kings-Bench, born only to show the little d●ff●rence between Men and Beasts; only, the one can speak, the other not, unless there be something more of Addition then what Nature infuses. You may be sure such sulphurus Matters, as Debtor and Credi●or, can never meet but strange alterations of Air must ensue, which is the reason of those d●sperate thunder-claps to be heard every day in Guild-Hall. — Hang him Dog, I lent him my money out of my Pocket.— Cursed cur, I only was bound for another, and here the Son of a Whore sues me to Execution.— No, I'll have no more mercy on him then I'd have on the Devil.— Let him rot in Goal and be poxt.— I'll see him damned ere I'●e pay him a groat.— I'll make him sh●t as small as a Mouse— By this light, I owe the Rogue not a ●arthing.— He's a cheating Dog, and I'll prove it.— Hey, Clerk, Where is my Execution?— Where's my judgement? Never such a forsworn wretch upon God's earth— Be sure to lay the Rogue fast— A rough and stormy season truly; but such is the Nature of the climate neither do we see any Position of the stars likely to remedy it.  
Should we foretell the death of some City-Serjeants and Guild-hall Attorneys, 'tis a thing we might do very safely, and 'tis very probable to come to pass: But what avails the ceasing of one Plague when another follows in the neck on't. Could we prophesy that no more of those places should be sold, we might then foretell a great Reformation, and the return of a fair glimpse of the GOLDEN AGE. But this other Prediction of ours shall most assuredly come to pass by reason of the terrible influences of the Dog-Star upon that sort of cattle, that these Fellows shall swallow many a fair piece of the King's coin, which they have as little right to as the man in the Moon. But what remedy? complain— and they'l tell their Superiors as Gusman hath it in his first Chapter, That they had not their Offices for nothing, but paid soundly for them, and therefore must lick themselves whole out of other mens necessities. Prudently therefore the same Gusman avers out of Aristotle, That the greatest wrong that can be offered to a Common wealth is the sale of Offices. Many Causes this year shall be tried, and the witnesses shall swear point blank to the truth, but the Jury men shall find quiter Contrary. Neither do we find that the Corruption of some Talis men will cease so long as this world endures. We are afraid some Talis man or other is crept into the sky, by the help of some Astrological Under-sheriff or other, to make all this Mischief: Whom to suspect we cannot device, unless it be that sneaking fellow called Auriga or the Carter, probably some Middlesex Farmer: of which there are some of them, formerly well said and well drenched, that for a Wager shall whistle Law at the Plough tail with ere a Northfolk Dumplin of them all: I have seen of these Catt●l appear among the jury men that are truly returned, just as in Job we find the Devil appearing among the Angels before God: and there are those that have them always ready, according as they shall be bespoke, as good Farriers have always store of Horse-shoos by them, to fit all sizes of Hoofes. So that Plaintiff or Defendant need not be beholding to the Stars to know his good fortune, if he have well consulted these Soothsayers.  
But who the Devil dubbed these, forlorn dregs of Mortality, the clipped Knights of the Post? Astrologers are at a Stand: some will have Proteus to be their Father, because of the several Long-lane shapes and dresses that they appear in; for they are sometimes Divines, sometimes Country Gentlemen sometimes Physicians, sometimes Merchants, sometimes Serving-men, as the thing to be sworn to requires them to be in Office. Astronomers will allow them no room in Heaven, for that Perjury is the only Crime that is punishable among the Gods: Therefore, saith Tostatus, they are an Apparent Argument for the Excellency of Man above Angells; Coruptio optima est pessima. Therefore are men so much the more Excellent than Angels, by how much they, the more corruption of Mankind, are worse then Devils.  
These men, with the Epicureans, place their chief Happiness in this World, counting the meanest Conveniences thereof great Blessings; such as Pots of Ale, and sixpeny Cuts of Ram-alley Roast beef: With the Sadduces they hold the Mortality of the Soul, otherwise they would never sell their Salvation so cheap; half a crown a time, come as often as you please. Yet are they of great use among a certain Generation of Vipers called anointed Knaves. When an anointed Knave comes with these finishing Tools of his to complete a Tittle, there is no resistance, the case is made so plain: then shall you see without friar Bakon's Art, the strange Motions of Terra firma out of one Family into another: Mountains, without the help of Faith removed out of one man's Possession into the possession of another. If you aim at the life of a man, they put down all the time, observing poisons of Ethiopia, they'l do your work so gentelely and so legally, that you get Repute by the Prosecution. They'l swear, that such a one lying asleep, they saw his soul go out of his mouth booted and spurred, take horse, ride to such a place, do such a murder, commit such a Felony, or act such and such Treasons. Now because( as Boccalini saieth) that it is so hard a matter to punish a false oath without discouraging a true one; such as rob upon the High-way, and take but 10 shillings from a man, shall be hanged; and these sons of Perdition that strike at the root of Life, Estate and Fortune, shall only loose their Ears, which they value no more than Esop's Cock did Diamonds: Pieces of flesh, which they hold, made in opposition to the great Maxim in Philosophy, That Nature does nothing in vain, as being of no use in the body of Man.  
'tis good to fight with Silver weapons, for then thou shalt overcome all things, saith the Greek Poet: Which is the reason a true Suborner is never without a Guard of these janissaries at his heels, especially in Term▪ time. These are they that so cordially pimp for the Devil, as if they thought him to be Disposer of all Inheritances; as Lord of the World. They have made a Feoffment of their Souls with Livery and Seisin to Satan, only taking a short Lease back again. And therefore are resolved to make all people they have to deal withall turn Tenants to their Landlord. If a councillor or Attorney chance to take their Fee, what villainies must he not conceal? what Treacheries, what Forgeries is he not bound to be privy to? what defences must he not make o● injustice and wrong? what, the worst of actions must he not strive to palliate, daub over with the fucus of forced Eloquence, quiter contrary to the dictates of either Reason or Conscience? Those that have calculated their Nativities, banish them from the society of men, as the most dangerous and treacherous persons in the world; and wonder, finding it so much threatened by the stars, that no more of them are hanged; there being no Crime in the world that more deserves death. About this time many significations derive themselves from Mars, who is Author Bellorum. Now he being in one of his greatest Dignities with Mercury, such a Conjunction portends many strifes and animosities among men, for a fiery Planet in a sign of the same triplicity, receives an addition of violence to its own intemperate nature. This is the reason of those swarms of ignorant Solicitors, and worse then ignorant Attorneys, whose multiplication would prove a greater plague to this Nation then Vermin to the Egyptians: therefore among the well regulated Common wealth of the Lacedemonians Law suits were not heard of. And well did Charles the 9th of France, who, to prevent needless and numberless suits of Law, ordained that whoever commenced a svit of Law, should deposit such a Sum with the Judge, to receive it back, if his cause were good, or forfeit it, if the same proved frivolous. Not worse did James of Arragon who banished Semeng Rada a great Pettifogger for his being famons only for quirks and wil●ss in Law: But better did Galeatius of milan, who hanged another for his excellent Art of multiplying suits. Surely such bands of Locusts, might be better employed then in the Ruin of the Poor and needy, whose Cries why they do not call down Showers of Brimstone and Fire upon these impious Miscreants, when some Casuists have not been able to answer, it has made them totter in their Divinity?  
But what is the matter that our Astrologers keep Hercules so close mu'd up up in the sky, when we have so much need of him here upon Earth? Here is one more to make up his Labours a Bakens-dozen, that will more renown him than all his other twelve: Nay, let him bring Theseus too; here's work enough for them both; for there be a sort of Augean Stables about this City, whose Keepers never cate Less then two poor folks at a meal, more cruel than Diomed that fed his horses with human flesh; more inhuman, more merciless than the great robbers Sciron or Pityolanthes, more terrible than the Lerenean Monster, should they be broyl'd roasted, gridled, singed, baked ten thousand years in Purgatory, they would be as sooty as when first put in. But Cruelty seldom goes unrewarded, and such is the Happiness of these fellows, that they seldom last above a Pope's Reign, being generally poisoned either with lim'd, sack or stumm'd Claret, in less then five years. Saturn's a melancholy sign, and who can hinder him from being as froppish and as humer some as he pleases upon his own day; which is the reason that there be some Citizens that can as well be hanged as keep out of the Nine-pin Houses in Moor Fields on a Saturday, to be out of the sight of those ghastly apparitions that haunt their Ghosts at the heel of the week. Poverty and Necessity the Gods of the Andreans, that could stop the mouth of Themistocles, cannot appease the wrath of a City Creditor; the Proverb reversed, Dunn upon the Devil. whose empty money bag, twisted about his hand, is as killing as a Gorgon's head; and therefore 'tis well the poor man is out of the way he's only practising the sports which are to be his only Recreations in a short time: and what a kindness it is for a man to be removed from the cares and labours of this world to the sweet pleasures of drinking and kettles? 'tis well these Desperado's in Estate are not so strong as samson; for they would not then put their Landlords key under the Door, but take away key house and all. What abundance of Travellers should we meet upon the road with Houses and Shops furnished? And what Landlord, seeing a man standing upon the seashore with his house upon his back, swearing he would sand it to the bottom of the Ocean, but would come to any composition? Besides they were out of the reach of the Law, for there is no Statute in Polton against removing of houses, so a man Carry them whole without breaking: But the limits of fate are certain; the cobbler cannot go beyond his Last, nor a man beyond his strength; there was but one Nisus, one Hercules, one samson, the first two never arrested that we red of, and for the latter how he paid off his Creditors we very well know. Therefore now a days 'tis better for debtors to fall to their Prayers, beseech, entreat, lye, flatter dissemble, swear, forswear, set an Instrument to work with the wise, such tricks as these,  Sint semper studiis arma parata tuis. 
If these will not prevail, expect no other deliverance but as Daniel got out of the lions Den, or Jonas out of the Whales belly.   


January's Observations.  
THE Weather is very could, and Charity far more could. The womens Benevolence flows all into the convention Channel. Their husbands bosoms hard frozen like the weather, not to be thaw'd by all the steams of Plum-broth and Plum-Pye that make such mists in their kitchens; Only the Cellar man, in hope to be paid at one time or other, and partly out of the lechery they have in cozening and cheating with false measures and nasty Tobacco, is at length contented to let his dear Euridices, his Beer and his Brandy take a little air out of his Infernal regions. But the hot strumpets leave such violent claps behind them in the Pockets of the poor Prisoners, that no Aqua fortis cats so violently into a fob as they do. Only the Cellar man has one Recipe to stop the violence of the gonorrhoea, by crying in a Lion-like tone, I'll trust no more. Yet men that are picked up in the holidays have not so much reason to complain; for though they fare not so well as they might abroad, yet they are sure to be kept from surfeiting where they are, surely 'tis a hard case that such Enormities are winked at, that where poor men ought to have most, best and cheapest, there they have the worst, least and dearest of all things. Now the reason is such that all the seven wise men of Grece could not have given the like; because the Master Keeper lets his Cellar at a Rack rent, because he himself has paid so dear for the Custody of his Den: A strange kind of Chymistrie, however it came to be allowed of, that a man should be permitted to purchase an Iron-barr'd alembic, to act contrary to nature, while he makes it his business all his life to extract something out of nothing, and having reduced men to nothing out of the Caput mortuum of their perished Estates, to make himself something: who could have thought A Jailor had been such a chaldean Magician before?   

February's Observations.  
THis Month many men shall be carried over to the Kings-Bench, with Habeas Corpuses; a piece of sheeps skin, that would make you believe that beast to be the most subtle and cruel in the world: Truly 'tis a beast of a strange Kidney after death, and as we are apt to believe, the only beast that cries quit for quo with his Devourer, man: by and by devouring him alive for feeding on his dead carcase before: wicked Conspiracy between the silliest of Creatures, the sheep and the Goose, to be so sharp in their revenge: which makes men seem the greatest Sots in nature to be made such Fools of, by goose and Sheep. Thus are the cunning foxes carried away by the violence of a Sheep-skin into the Hesperiant Gardens of Southwark, where, though there are no Golden Apple Trees growing, yet they shall find many Lions waking for their Security. Some say that the Prisoners themselves are changed into Golden Appletrees, which so long as they bear fruit, the lion is as gentle as a read Herring, but if they whither and grow dry, they are presently cut down and made fuel for the Common Goal. Nay your two janissaries, your Brace of guardian angels will forsake you for want of a little Chamber rent: Otherwise Polyphemus himself is civil enough, and will be content to have his own eye put out for a while, while Ulysses escapes under the belly of his Golden fleece. Now under what Planets the tipstaffs and Waiters were born, we cannot well conjecture; we believe Mercury, though not as he was a god, but a Gusman. They are a sort of Vermin that believe not only the Moon, but all mankind to be made of green cheese, so like Rats and Mice do they altogether live and feed upon it. They are clearly of Horaces Opinion, or at least seem to have been his Scholars in this one particular, for they measure the credit of a man, and repute of his Virtues, according to the length of his purse, and depth of his chest. This month the wandring Planets of this Region have Liberty, by their Rules, to boult out of their burrows up and down into the City, and laugh at their irreligious Creditors.   

March's Observations.  
BUt now 'tis Vacation, Every man to his Cage, No budging without the Territories of S. George. Room enough a-conscience for the holy Exercises there performed, Diceing, drabbing, drinking. Venus is very Powerful here, but Bacchus much more, being indeed the very Baal Peor of this place. As for the stars of the first Magnitude, you shall find them at the Leg or the Golden lion; but all must not be such, for then what would the lesser orbs of Alehouses do for the Comfort of their inclining Influences. But, quoth the Creditors, What tidings does your heavenly Post bring ye concerning the payment of our Debts? not a tittle by Jove. No my dear friends, this is the Land of Oblivion. Not a quartern of Brandy but is an Antidote against Sorrow, not a pipe of Wine, or a barrel of Beer, but was perfect Letye. In a short while they forget you, in a long time you forget them. Alas, should all men pay their debts, Some would have nothing left, and others would have all; there would be no flux and reflux of Fortune, should the Tide run all one way, no loss aswell as again, and cheating would have too great an incoragement should it always prosper. Prove that ever, in any age of the world, all men paid their Debts, and we will entreat the stars to let ye have it so again. But do you think to alter the course of Nature for your humours? Having received this sad news from the heavenly Intelligencer, the Poor Creditors are as various in their Humour as the weather. The Mercer shakes his head and cries, I'll spend five hundred pounds before I'll be thus trapann'd. The Milliner cries — Hang't give us t'other Cup of Sack 'tis well 'tis no worse— by my soul the Gentleman seemed to me to be such an honest man, that I would have trusted him with all the goods in my Shop. The Poor tailor holding his hands under his Arm pits, well quoth he, I know as cunning a fellow as any is in England, and if there be ever a trick i'the Law, Begarr, I'll make him smoke for't. Ad's foot he owes me beside for above a twelve months Lodging.— But a Pox a my Wife she is so willing to entertain handsome Gentlemen.   

April's Observations.  
THE Semstress melts into tears like the Month, and cries, He might have been more kind to her, she was sure she was none of his back friend— 'twas a most ungentleman like part to undo a poor woman in both senses. But let them all say or do what they will, Prisons are like the Well in Derbyshire, that turns the tenderer substance of Iron into ston, so when a man is once put in prison, his heart becomes Petrify'd to that excess, so that neither the soft words of a flattering Creditor, nor the most sharp and piercing execrations of a passionate one, can make the least impression therein. Now Astrologers, unless they can have the Goodluck to lye with their Mistresses, being generally very poor, and great Borrowers, make a Dispute, whether a man ought to be compelled against his will to pay his Debts or no? Saturn a Sage Planet and a great Law-giver among the Latins, was positively in the negative: for, saith he, If according to the maxim of the Law, no injury can be done to him that is willing; then it follows, that all injury must be done to him that is unwilling: now what greater Injury can be done to a man, than to compel him to pay Money against his will, whether he has it or no? Again, no man was ever compelled to lend money; what reason then why a man should be compelled to repay it? Otherwise lending of money seems a kind of invention of man to trepan his fellow creature, to lend him money that he may afterwards make him his miserable slave and vassal and triumph over his Calamity. Then up stepped Jupiter, and said, There was no reason, that that man who imprisoned the body of his Creditor should be paid one farthing of his Debt, though it were to the ruin of the Creditor's wife and family. For, quoth he, There can be no greater Mischief done to a man than to captivated his body, and deprive him of his divine privilege of Freedom; he then that intends the ruin of another, ought to have the same ruin intended, to himself: and he is wise that expends in Charity at home whatever he has, rather than relieve his perishing Adversary.   

mays Observations.  
THey that deny Prisons to be Baudy-Houses are as much mistaken as' ere they were in their lives, and may as well deny the Seven Planets; or, that Venus was translated to the Sky for being a Nunn and not a Whore: Surely the greatest Commendation to a Prison, is, that it renders Matrimony most savoury, where the pleasures thereof are most stolen: but it most extremely commends their Charity one among another, for lending their chambers to their fellow Prisoners. For which some allege the lawfulness of Matrimony; others, that are for the more noble way of Pimping defend themselves by the example of Heliogabolus who was wont to lend his Baths and Wenches to his friends and acquaintance when ever they desired it. And to tell you the truth you will find so little of Mortification among them, that they are generally of Solon and Aristotles opinions, that Whores are not onely useful but necessary in a well instituted Common-wealth, such as generally all Prisons are, especially Ludgate, and the Fleet. Corporeal Recreations, they cry, Mitigate corporeal punishments. Neither was it ever recorded among them, that any one that was ever put in ever prayed himself out. And some have observed that on blackfriars side, where you may hear them as duly at Sternhold and Hopkins as at their morning draughts, and when their devotion is loudest yet that here their boxes are always emptiest.   

June's Observations.  
COmets and eclipses are generally the forerunners of strange Alterations in the sublunary world. But they were never yet so lucky as to foretell humanity in an under keeper; Not all the Influences of Sun or Moon, constellations or single stars could ever alter their unalterable dispositions. Men before, but coming to that office, metamorphosed on a sudden into Tigers, Wolves and cannibals. They may strut in fine clothes, fat with feasting on the forbidden fruits of extortion and selling unlawful liberty at such unlawful rates, that Nero could do no more when he gave more then Parthia was worth to the Parthian King to teach him the Art of necromancy, though what will a Prisoner not do, that has it? what will he not expend, to conjure down, and appease the evil daemon that so torments and haunts him worse then the Ghost of Agrippina? Yet if any of them would be so kind as to melt into Mercy and honesty we would certainly have a Cabal of Astrologers to place him in the Sky. What a miraculous thing would it be to see a Christian Officer shining in the room of a heathenish constellation? The Jaylor in the Acts fall down at the feet of his two Prisoners, when he saw such a terrible Habeas Corpus come from heaven toremove them. But it is to be feared; had those Prisners been here now, the Earth might have shook as well as the Prison,' ere it could have shaken the heart of an English Petty Tyrant, that since the cannot alter them one way, they are resolved they shall be as unalterable another way; for by the unanimous consent of the whole host of Heaven, never any one of them, from the highest to the lowest ever did or shall die worth a groat.   

July's Observations.  
'tis fair weather and therefore get ye gon to the Fleet, and there behold the noble Art of Chese-bowling; Angels, Boardend and Game:— Two pieces o'the Game; a piece the End,— Five to one o'the Cast,— A pleasing Noise for Creditors to hear! But who can help it— for these are your Trustee-men that have laid up their Estates in Lavender, and must have their Recreation, not to be confined to humours, though humours confined them. And thus you see, if men can keep their Estates what your Capias, and your Latitats signify. If you have a mind to walk into their Chambers you shall there find them as merry as Lords; some at dice, some at cards, some drinking, some roaring: and, you must know that if the Clerk be one that knows how to spread his bread and butter with his thumbs, 'tis not all your Art can keep 'em within the walls of the Bowling-Alley, or gate either. But have a Care of out-running the Constable. For when all's gon there's no more to be had: They'l sooner trust their Souls with the Devil, than a Prisoner with sixpence. If after you have spent all you can live upon moldy Proverbs of good Husbandry, old Sentences of Repentance, or enumerating your kindnesses in Prosperity to the Letter men, you may. And therefore endeavour to be one of Solomon's Sons, and keep Company with none of them. Have a care of lying too much out of doors upon Security, for 'tis but a scurvy thing to be visited in kindness twice or thrice a Month by Clericus in libro, and his two Gog-Magogs, with rugged cudgels and grimm faces, when the end is only to milk and sponge. Otherwise you may blame the stars when your own folly becomes your ruin: For if Prisons must be, and men must be arrested, it is the greatest Argument in the world, for men to play the knave, and when they find themselves to begin to sink, to keep something for Self-preservation. Extremities will happen to all sorts of men, as well good as bad, and therefore they determine best, that best determine for their own safety.   

August's Observations.  
HE that thinks that Larks will fly roasted into his Mouth this Month, will be deceived, and therefore let every man look about him diligently to his Business, and keep out of Prison while he is out. 'tis Harvest time, and therefore be sure to reap the Benefit of good Advice out of other mens harms. If a man has a Creditor that is overcholerick, let him not be too hasty, for 'tis time and straw that mellow Medlars. Some are of Opinion that there is neither Love nor Hunger in Prisons, because the ston walls are so seldom broken, but there's another reason that secures them, for both Lover and Hungry person are so continually tired with breaking of their Oaths, their Faith, their Vows, Promises and Words, that they have neither time nor strength left to perform any other exploit. He that in an Hundred pounds worth of Law, finds a half penny weight of Love shall be a very happy man. But he that finds a true friend in his Adversity shall be far happier: when thy Adversary makes use of a Lawyer, do you make use of a Lawyer and a half. He that has brought his Noble to Nine-pence, let him never spare at the bottom, and when he has quiter thwittend his Milpost to a pudding prick, let him in the Full of the Moon go and hang himself; least Poverty and could Weather take him napping together. He that has bit upon the Bridle, let him strive to make silver with his Teeth, and endeavour to recover himself by faring hard.   

September's Observations.  
THis Month the gods being met in Council, where there is also present, the great Judge Rhadamanthus, Advocate general Minos, and Eacus one of Jove's learned Council. Themis makes her Complaint that finding such a Reformation in our Architecture, she would fain have return'd to the Earth again, but that she was so disturbed with the Weekly Clamours in the Common-Hall, that she was forced to retire: Rhadamanthus urged, That though some Cities might have freedom to have the Law among themselves, yet that the Algazils and paltry Lictors had no permission to buy and sell the Law as they pleased, to make Combinations among themselves against their Clients; to let go Judgments by Default, to take Exorbitant Fees, with an hundred more of the same Nature. Eacus urged that Courts filled with the loud echoes of brangling and litigious Boyes and imperious Catch-poles, had too irreverent a Resemblance of a Court of Py-Pouder: Mines urged that there was an Office to which the Character of Noctes atque dies belonged: the Sinks and Common Sewers into which all the Malice Envy, Rancour and Hatred of inveterate People spend itself. Where the Tenter-hooks of Oppression always are in such public View, that Man, Woman, or Maid can hardly pass by Woodstreet or the Poultry, without being catchthold of. Where men sit at receipt of Injury, and mourn at the tranquillity and Peace of Neighbours.   

October's Observations.  
THis Mouth Themis appears again before the gods, for Astrologers say, There are Terms in Heaven, as well as upon Earth: Rhadamanth urged that men did ill to undertake the Defences of trivial and immodest Causes: that it was their Duty to tell their Clients the truth of their Causes, and to dehort them from Contention, rather than to encourage and exasperate people already by the Ears. That it was unusual to see Hominem solenni legis linteo velamine decoratum crouching to inferiors: That it was not seemly to see Gentlemen hawking after the trivial defences of bawdry or infamous Scolding; looking about as greedily after their Prey, as the Turks, on set days, gape for Mahomet. Pluto, always feed in bad Causes, urged that they had paid large Sums for their places. But old Saturn casting a Sardonic smile upon him, called Pluto, Poltron and Bocca di Porco; for, said he, There is nothing arm's a Purchaser more with defence of unjust Dealings, than money given for an Employment, which makes Petty Courts, where Law is made to be like the Bush, to which while Sheep repair for shelter, they are sure to loose a Fleece. Then Minos urged his Complaint, you may guess against whom, The very sweepings of the Nation, who after three or four times Breaking, thrust themselves into Varlet's Offices, to torment others, as they had been tormented before. But would men from daily Experience discover what Tricks they play, what Leiger-de-main they use, what juggling there is among them; it were an easy thing, by the Assistance of the Stars, to tell their Fortunes, and prognosticate their Removal from all the public places of the City, where their Attendance might be rationally dispensed with.   

November's Observations.  
THere shall be great Bickering in the Country about Under-sheriffs places, and there's Fifty pounds odds, according to the Humour of Venus; and then it goes hard with the Country Prisoners: for is it not Reason the poor Country-slaves should pay, when their Keepers petition for Relief? But they that buy dear must sell dear: and therefore 'tis a strange thing, how blind some people will be, for though they have a Writ in their Pockets, and the person walks just under their Noses, yet they cannot see him for their lives: which proceeds from a wonderful Conjunction of Sol and Luna in Palm of the Right hand. The Station of Saturn in Sagittary foretells the Failing of many Country Farmers: and their Credit is no sooner fly-blown, but the Magot-Bayliffs, are at their tails immediately. Now the poor Country People knowing no difference between Fiery Trigons, and Fieri fae●as, Ca. Sa. and Ca. Dra. Excom. Cap. and Mar. in Sag. Take all to be Conjurers or Astrologers; especially when they find them so truly Calculating the Fatal Destiny▪ of their Estates; But which are best Conjurers or Returna Breviums they cannot say, But the Stars are just, for the Year's no sooner out, but they meet either with the Pipe Office, or Hell: where the first Punishment is to lye ten thousand years in the Sweat of their own Bayliff's toes.   

December's Observations.  
SOme Charity is intended this Month by well disposed Persons for the Relief of poor prisoners in several Places: and some few of the Richer sort shall sand Baskets of scraps to the poor people: the refuse of their public Tables pretending it to be Charity. But Theseus and Piritheus denies it so to be: swearing by Pluto and Cerberus, that it is a frantic relic of the Number 666. to call it either Benevolence or Charity, for they say, That it can be no Charity to sand the Orts and scambled Mammocks of a superfluous Table, that they knew not what in the world to do with else, especially when there is never a Bone that has not been supervised and diligently corrected and amended above three or four times by the most elaborate Stomacks of the place. To tell ye the Truth on't, what strange Constellations did rule the Charity-basket in 74. we are not well able to say: however 'twas worth the seeing to take an Observation from thence, of the Dimensions of some mens Benevolence. Certain it was, that year was very severe, which caused many poor men to blaspheme one of the most noble Virtues. Charity ought to flow frank and free from the kitchens of public Magistrates; their Scraps and Mammocks is no more than what the poor senseless Animal expects for his Service, and claims as his due. He that will be Charitable must Give, Give his own, and that which is wholesome and convenient: So that, he that only sends from his superfluous Banquets the Orts and Fragments of other mens Contributions, may have the Honour to give Admittance to the Poors Basket, but never get the true Character of a Charitable person: for she is a most chast virtue, and not to be adulterated by fictitious Imitations and Ostentations of Realities. But what need so much Charity; when all the Prisons have their Foot-Posts running from place to place with Boxes and Petitions for the sake of Jesus Christ and the Good Time: But truly there are so many Heresies and Sects that care neither for Christ, nor his Good time neither, that the Trade of Begging for Christ's sake is hardly worth following now a dayes; and all Helps are little enough, especially, when ye consider, That 'tis not a small thing that must maintain a proud Master and his Wife to boot.    


ANATOMY of the Body.  
Ale and Head& Brains Brandy. Cravatta Neck& Throat Louzia, Short-pot Arms& shoulders Long-pot. Cursed Breast& stomach Mundungus Aurum Heart& Back Potabile. Clean sheets Bowels& Belly Fetherbeds. Thread-bare Reins& Loins Gowns. Gonorrh. Secret Members Fetida. Balneum Thighs mary. Rub and Legs a good cast. Briba Feet Cerberum.   

Rules for Husbandry.  
SOw the seeds of dissension from the first of January to the last of December. October, January, April, May and June. If thou hast a cunning Creditor to deal with, Set a Knave to catch a Knave, for those Months contain the usual Terms of the year. In april and September gather thy Rent, and if thou hast a good Crop, make good use of it, for 'tis the best Flower in thy Garden. At Mdsummer shear they Tenants with new Leases, and at Michaelmas cut thy Coat according to thy Cloth. At Christmas, when thou hast got Money in thy Pocket, 'twill be good pruning of Taylor's Bills. In January, February and December, being idle Months, sow all thy wild Oats: In March, if thou hast a good Stock, set up for thyself: then be a good Husband, and thou shalt reap well for thyself. Have a care of letting Coneys burrow in thy Shop-book, 'twill be hard Ferreting them out again. Make Hay while the Sun shines; but have a care of thrusting thy Sickle into another man's Corn. Have a care, in a dear time, of parting with thy Hay, unless thou hast good store of Oats for it. He that has an expensive Wife, let him lop off her superfluous extravagancies at the beginning of the Year, least they grow in a short time past his Reach. Hearts-ease is a rare Flower, keep good store of it in thy Garden. And as for Flower gentle, a good Husband would not be without it that hath variety of Dealings in the world. Ragwort, a Weed, keep it out of thy ground: But for Herb-grace, keep it all the year long if thou canst.   

Eclipses.  
AN Eclipse is the Interposition of a ston doublet between a Man and the Street.  
When a man is first arrested and carried to the Hen and Chickens, or Rose and Crown,( to the unspeakable Scandal of the Law, at the expense of 2 s. per night, for onely lodging, besides the continual Visits of Serjeants, who,( like Physitians) seldom go away empty) this is called a Half Eclipse.  
When a Man is hurried from thence for want of Money, into the counter, or by deuce, to Ludgate, or elsewhere, by Hab. Corp. this is a Total Eclipse.  
Sol, or Man, may be eclipsed an hundred several ways;  
Women, or Luna, are not so generally eclipsed, and then they must be either Maids, Widdows, or sole Traders.  
Of both these Eclipses there will be some thousands this year, one with another. But they shall be only visible in the proper orisons, or Jayles where the Eclipsed Bodies move.  
Yet some of these Eclipses shall become visible in Ethiopia, Persia, China, Barbado's, Virginia, and other remote parts, being such as have made escapes, or else withdrawn themselves by Connivance out of the Rules.   

Of the Houses of the Planets.  

January.  
HE that in Prison wants both Fire and Chink,  
Where had he better be, than there d' ye think?  
You'l say in Hell— for there's both heat and gold;  
Not so, for that's as hot, and this too could.   

February.  
But better were he to be Stallion tame,  
To some( like Messalina) swinging Dame:  
For then exhausted, breaking Arm or leg,  
For Ale and Capon he at length may beg.   

March.  
Taylors trust not in March, or if ye do,  
Be merciful like April, never sue;  
For March of April borrows, but ne'er pays,  
Yet April never brought Action for her Days.   

April.  
Fathers must die; and then in happy hours,  
Just like the Month, their Heirs rain golden showers:  
'tis for the Month, quoth they, to wash the Earth,  
Our tears are salt, and therefore little worth.   

May.  
Like to the Fields, young Gallants now appear  
As brisk and gaudy as the springing year.  
Their golden bags shine in their tropic hight,  
Who ever then could think it should be Night.   

June.  
The Portion's coming, Fill the t'other quart,  
So is the Girl, powder on't, there's the smart:  
But hang't, as long as there's Cash i' this life,  
A Kennel of Whores is sauce for a Wife.   

July.  
Squire, do you want another thousand pound?  
You may command it, Squire, on your own word:—  
I know your Father well, that's under ground,  
And therefore while it lasts, near spare my Hoard.   

August.  
Squire, 'tis twelve Month now, since first, I lent;  
And men are mortal, pardon my intent,  
I only do't for something, Sir, to show;  
Not to make use of, Heaven above doth know.   

September.  
Sir, I've an Execution against ye— how—  
And ne'er arrested— We can't tell— 'tis so—  
What's to be done?— Sir, here's a House hard by,  
A piece in hand— wee'l keep you privately.   

October.  
What have ye seen your Friend yet? no— the whereas mad—  
Y'are here so long— a Crown— and I'll persuade,  
There's one more Writ— We knew't not by my Soul;  
Another had it, we could not control.   

November.  
Has the Dog served me thus? to stay's no purpose:  
Get me an Attorney, I'll have an Harpus Corpus;  
I'll sing i'th Bench a Boat, a boat,  
And I'll see the Rogue hanged,' Ere I pay him a groat.   

December.  
At length the man in Execution dyes,  
Like Tavern Guests, that reckoning has defraid;  
Up comes the Drawer Death, and smartly cries,  
Y'are kindly welcome, Gentlemen, all's paid.    

The usual Fairs in England.  

At Layton-Buzzard, on St. Martin's day.  
THis Fair is altogether for Fools, viz. Those that bring their Hogs to a bad Market; those that buy and sell, and live by the loss: Those that have a mind to purchase false Heraldry, and St. Martin's Gentility. For Jaylor's Honesty. Prison-Cellar-mens Pride. Turnkeys Knavery, Prisoner's Idleness, Shopkeepers Prodigality, prentices falsehood, Gentlemens beggary, Gamester's Treachery, Chancery Suits, Jury-men's-Consciences, Physitians Ignorance, Pothecaries Learning, Creditors Mercy, Serjeants Piety, and Souldiers Religion.   

At zeal in Devonshire. On Valentine's day.  
FOr Holy Sisters, mendicant Preachers, schismatics of all sorts and sizes, musical Parish-Clarks, Needy Curates, rich Queristers, godly fiddlers, Ceremonious Quakers, humble Dancing Masters, Trusty Chamber maids, and chast Whores: Several wears are likewise here to be sold, as Foxe's Works, Naylor's Last Will and Testament, Durants sweet Sippets of Consolation: New Lights of Four i'the pound, Geneva Coif's and cross-cloths, set forms of night Discourse among the Brethren. For shoes that will tie of themselves: For Looking-glasses with Fancies ready set, as if Butter would not melt in their Mouths. Cordials for weak Speakers. Barrels of Pickled nonsense for Strong Holders forth. Opiums to procure Repentance, Wash balls for sin; and many more Trinkets of the same nature.   

At evil in Summersetshire, on St. Judas's day.  
FOr Knights of the Post, Kings Bench-liberty Fleet-Oaths, fobb'd City actions, Sheriffs-court pleadings: King's Bench, Fleet and counters Offices. Caps for the Memory made of Prisners skulls that dyed in Execution; for Dispensations, for Perjury, and in brief for all sorts of Knaves in grain.   

At Maiden▪ Bradly in Wiltshire.  
FOr cracked Virgins, Expensive Wives, thievish Nurses, Portionless Matches, riotous sons, undutiful daughters, Claps, Gonorrhea's and Suburb-Quacks.   

At Dunstable in Bedford shire.  
FOr all sorts of cattle, as Bull-pated Country Pettyfoggers, Goatish Clerks, Bear-Bayliffs, Bore-Serjeants, lion-like plaintiffs, Sheepish Defendants, Fox-like Conveyancers, Litigious Asses, Dromedary Proctors, and Pack-horse Promoters, Foxskins for Scriveners, and Badgers-sur for Usurers.   

Horn-Fair, at Charlton in K●nt, on St. Luke's day.  
STallions of all Sorts, Coachmen, and Gentlemen-Ushers for great Ladies; Monkeys and Island-Curs for private Uses, Licences for polygamy; Cures for cracked maiden-heads; Remedies for weak Backs, Complaints, Excuses and Pretences for all sorts of Women; treacherous Midwives, Nurses for Bastards at small rates. Forms of Bonds for putting off Children. Speedy helps for Barrenness, Cloaks for Adulteresses; with twenty more Knicknacks of the same Nature.    
FINIS.