queries: Or a Dish of Pickled-Herring shred, Cut and prepared according to the DUTCH Fashion. For the squeamish Consciences of English fanatics, who pray for the New building of their Old babel. English coat of arms, circa 1665 Printed at Amsterdam for the use of the High and Mighty States of Holland, and re-printed at LONDON, 1665. queries. Or a Dish of Pickled-Herring, &c. I. wither the Hollanders Government by States is not better than Monarchy by some Millions, by their usurpation over Royal Privileges and Properties? II. Whether Lucian did well to make Hell governed by States? III. Whether the States of Holland( who ●eny Kingship to be Jure Divino) may not lawfully affirm there are no Devils; since Scripture commands them to deny themselves? IV. Whether their Land may not be compared to the Ingredients of a Black-pudding; since their patches of ground in the water, seem like the knobs of Fat, or Oatmeal not well stirred together in the Blood? V. Whether we may not judge them cruel and merciless to all who have dealing with them, since they are so to themselves; for rather than want Fuel, they will fire the very foundation of their being, the Earth? VI. Whether we may not call Holland a Green-Cheese in pickle, by reason of its watery situation: And whether lately thousands of its Inhabitants were not souc'd by the English, to make them bear some analogy to their Country? VII. Whether they have not a shorter cut to Hell than the people of other Kingdoms and Nations; since their Country is so low? VIII. Whether it may not be called Hell, since all erroneous tenants, with the Authors of strange and unheard of villainies flock thither, as to their proper Centre? IX. Whether England be not samson; since it hath torn the Dutch-Lyon's Jaws asunder? X. Whether any now know what their Hoghen Moghenships are doing; or whether they know now what to do. XI. Whether if a Malefactor were condemned to be hanged, a man could find any other three for that purpose than a Willow, which makes them pilfare Timber elsewhere for Shipping? XII. Whether a Dutchman can break his Neck by leaping out of his own Window, since he is not like to meet with ground, till he sink to the bottom of a River, or the Sea; for their Houses stand like Privyes, in Moathouses over the water? XIII. Whether Dr. Lamb living there might have feared that Death by Stoning( which he received at London) there being so sew stones, that the living ones are as plentiful, except what are employed to the Paving of Streets: wherefore it is called the Buttock of the World, since it is full of Veins and Blood▪ Water) but no Bones hardly in it( Stones)? XIV. Whether Holland be not a mere Paradox; since its Inhabitants fish in the Water for Fire, and having taken thereof, spread it on the Land; which then appears to the beholders imagination, a Green-Cheese overspread with black-soap. Their Horses are Wood, which carry the Bridle in their Posteriours, and their Bellies contain their Burdens, and the Wind is the Spur that pricks them on? XV. Whether if Mount Atna or Vesuvius be Hells fore-gate, Holland is not the Postern. XVI. Whether that Text ( They are all become abominable, there is none that doth-good, no not one) doth concern the Hollander? XVII. Whether to shake off Allegiance( as they did from their lawful sovereign the King of Spain) for Christian-liberty, was not Don Quixots Argument to turn loose the galley-slaves, because God and Nature had made them free? XVIII. Whether the United Provinces( dis-united by water) may not be ranked with Magallaus Insula Latronum, or iceland of Thieves, who stolen his Cock-boat. XIX. Whether the water they use be not very Cordial, since it is Aqua Coelestis, distilled from the Clouds: However I am sure it is Aqua fortis, or forti●a, Strong-water I mean; for using it with one hand, you must hold your Nose with the other? XX. Whether they believe the World will be burned( as some of them were lately at Sea) since they make it appear by daily experiment, that its matter is combustible. XXI. Whether the Dutch Sea Captains have not lately found out the art of flying, without other wings,( then what their fears p●ocured them, their Sails) and that it is fit they which come after should understand this old invention, revived to prevent what danger might ensue for want of knowledge thereof? XXII. Whether it be not requisite the States should canonize those for Saints that die in their Service, who since there are but two Worlds, ought at least to be honoured in one? XXIII. Whether the Wisemen of Gotham would not have been horribly puzzled to have found out in Holland an Hedge for their cuckoo? XXIV. Whether Escutcheons are not in Holland more plentiful then the Gentry, since there every man is his own Herald; never fearing to have a Coat, if he hath so much wit to contrive one? XXV. Whether they regard not their Houses, and Utensils therein contained, more then themselves; for though they neglect their own formlesse unlickt Cub-Ships, yet to be sure the other shall not want any thing of their native beauty: Hence may be said they keep their Houses cleaner then their Bodies, and their Bodies then their souls? XXVI. Whether at any time they are so nice-conscienc'd, as not to turn Religion out of doors to let in Policy? and whether the most borish among them, if he gets wealth, may not quickly be made a Statesman? XXVII. Whether this may not be a real truth, that their Country is the God they adore, War their Heaven, Peace their Hell; and that they love not any but for Interest; but the King of Spain they hate worse then the Devil? XXVIII. Whether a man may not sooner convert a Jew, then persuade a Dutch-man contrary to his humour; For custom is his Law, and his Will is Reason? XXIX. Whether in the late expedition at Sea, they trusted not more to their Yard arms, then their own arms, to secure themselves from that mischief would have( justly) fallen on them? XXX. Whether he may be now said to be a man of Spirit, since that failing him he lost his courage; neither hath he seldom any but what he borroweth from Brandy? XXXI. Whether Pickled Herring, Butter, Onions, and Holland Cheese, be not the ingredients which make an ordinary Dutch-man; which the heat of the Sun under the Equinoctial in a Voyage to the Indies consolidates? XXXII. Whether his Body, Hands and Face are made of the same mole or composition; for his Body when naked seemeth a Christian-European, but the rest Hellish-Aegyptian? XXXIII. Whether they were not bread before manners were in fashion, since they hold civility and courtesy a late useless invention, and good for nothing but to steal away mens hearts from their worldly affairs? Surely they would make good Justices of the Peace, not so much for the slenderness of their wit, but because they neither respect persons nor apparel. XXXIV. Whether the love of gain, upon what dishonest ground soever, be not as natural to them as water to a Goose, or carrion to a Kite? XXXV. Whether it would not puzzle a philosopher to define a Dutchman, whether fish or flesh; since he draweth his food and breath as much or more from the water then from the land; however foul I am sure he is. XXXVI. Whether Dutch-men would wonder to see Iron float, since every thing is so made to swim among them? XXXVII. Whether they would not have forborn to use their virulent expressions against the King of Spain, had they not been formerly his Subjects; neither would they have dared to contend with the King of England, had not they wronged his Sacred majesty and People so much, they knew not how to render him satisfaction equivalent. XXXVIII. Whether mine. here will not venture the daubing of his faced Cloak, by carrying home three penny worth of Pickled Herring when he meets with them in his walk, rather then go without them? XXXIX. Whether when his belly is full, he beareth the resemblance of a full grown Oyster boiled? XL. Whether they will not tolerate any thing rather than hinder traffic; and will not stick to entertain the Devil( should they know him so) and trade with him, should the Fiend assume the habit of a Burgo-master, and show them merchandise. XLI. Whether you may not be what Devil you will at Amsterdam, provided you push not the State with your horns? XLII. Whether if any one hath lost his Religion, he may not there find it again, it being an University of all sorts of Opinions, which grow there like stocks in a Nursery, without either order or pruning. XLIII. Whether by this their boundless toleration, they place not their Commonwealth in a higher esteem than Heaven itself, since they had rather offend God then cross their republic. XLIV. Whether the Father and the Son were not created together, since observation tells us, there is not to be found among them any demonstration of Duty or Authority to distinguish them? XLV. Whether their women would not have indifferent good faces, did they not mar them in making. XLVI. Whether a Dutch sailor is not in continual danger of having his legs swallowed up, by reason of the wide gaping and yawning of his breeches at knees? XLVII. Whether a Dutch-woman may not be compared to a Monkey chained by the middle, for she had rather want food, then want links to hang her keys in? XLVIII. Whether a Dutch-man be longer eating his dinner, then an English-man preparing it? XLIX. Whether the English have not the better over the Dutch in drinking,( as well as in other things) having lost it long since by prating too much over their cups. L. Whether we mortals may not reckon the Hollander in the Massacre at Amboyna amongst the Gods, since they did there put off all humanity? LI. Whether Rudis indigestaque Moles, was not a saying expressed by Ovid, relating to the Hollander? LII. Whether it had not been much safer for the Hollander to have made use of their own fails for fuel, rather than to have fell foul on our Coleships? This I can prove by many Chaldrons of Reasons drawn from theirs and our experience? LIII. Whether it is not sitting that the States should now make an Act, wherein it should be lawful( as it is thought by some needful) for the widdows and Orphans of the deceased in the late expedition, to make away with themselves by hanging in the Air,( since their Husbands were destroyed by two other Elements Fire and Water) lest they joining issue with some malcontent persons, it should cause an alteration in their Government, and verefie the saying, The mighty shall be brought low? LIV. Whether the Commonwealth of Holland hath any other mark of Christianity than the grand prosecution of its interest, which is to make their calling and election Sure? LV. Whether the common Proverp, That bought wit is best, may not now be justly acknowledged by the Hollanders with a sad Probatum est? LVI. Whether it may not be said( when the Dutch Fleet set sail to Prosecute injustice( it being then a hot season after their could Winter) That they went out of Gods blessing into the warm Sun? LVII. Whether old Van Trump by carrying a Broom in his main-top, did signify that he would be the Scavenger of the British Seas, or that he would have ●ad the then Commonwealths cobbler to have furnished with old shoes, or old Boots?( will you buy any brooms.) LVIII. Whether Holland Cheese will not sweat coming on our cost for car oof our great Guns; or whether it would not dissolve or melt awa● rather before it comes by the heat of their own Fire-ships? L●X. Whether they look not on this as the Essence of their hodge-podge Religion? That the power of the Sword belongeth to him that can lay hold on the Hilt. LX. Whether Opdam hath not shown us, that the speediest way of sailing to the Antipodes, is in a Dutch Bottom? LXI. Whether if the Dutch dare play out their game at Ruff, and that they will once more Shuffle, it is reasonable for us to Cut? LXII. Whether Captain Smith for sinking one of the Dutch Admirals, may not truly as well as Honourably be said, To have hit the right nail on the head? LXIII. Whether he that can say no more at present, hath not a sufficient excuse to hold his tongue. Finis.