REMARKS UPON E. Settle's NARRATIVE nile Aliud loqueris quam Thesea, Perithoumque Teque putas Pyladi, Calliodore, Parem. Dispeream, si tu Py adi prestare matellam Dignus es, aut Porcos pascere Perithoi LONDON Printed and are to be sold by A. Banks for the Author, 1683. TO THE READER. And is E. Settle turned Recanter! nay then, there may be some hopes of the conversion of the Devil and all his Angels. But his own fellow Poets will not believe it; they, in their Prologues, say he has only turned Cat in Pan. And thus again all our hopes touching the Devil expire. For alas, he is no more converted then Satan himself,& this his pretended Recantation and Narrative, proves only an Expedient to satisfy the importunate cries of his necessity. What signifies the submissions of such a sordid animal to an offended Prince, that shall prostrate himself at the Feet of any Common Harlot, that will but be at the expense of a Bully, to correct his misdemeanours. Forgiveness is too high for such Spaniel-cowring. Such a one does not repent, but basely fawn under the terrors of what he deserves. Like the Devil, he only believes he has done a miss,& trembles. Therefore he is not forgiven, but only spurned, contemned& let live. And now shall such a slave, fettered in the chains of his still clamouring transgressions, be thought a Credible Umpire to determine the cause of Popish Treason and Murder? shall he be the proper Judge of National Wisdom and Justice? shall his tainted breath be thought sufficient to blast a Popish-Plot, upon all the strictest scrutinies& inquiries of moderation& prudence so voted to by the highest assembly of the Realm? Consider, Readers with yourselves, and so farewell. REMARKES UPON E. Settle's NARRATIVE AND now the Whiggs may thank themselves. They had once the Great Settle on their sides. There were but Nine Muses, and four& a half were Whiggs— But now for want of a little Contribution-money to defend him from Taylors Bills, and Landlady's scores, they have lost this mighty Champion of Theirs. 'tis an ill thing to provoke the slaves of Patrons, that have no where to feed but at other mens Tables; that have no bread to put in their heads but what their Patron affords 'em: for these Tenants at Will under other men's Roofs must sneak and cringe, and if a Patron will have 'em, must damn their souls, to save their Bodies. The Tories therefore would not loose the opportunity, but finding such a Belisarius as Elkanah, deserted, first by his Patron Roffee, that kept the King's arms against the Dukes Theatre, and forsaken by his Aldersgate street Patron, presently caught him up, fed him, and set him to work. 'twas all one to Elkanah, what cared He? He followed the Dictates of his necessity, and, Ingenij Largitor venture. The Whiggs therefore were nothing at all beholding to him; for it was not any good opinion of their cause, or upon any true Ground or principle of virtue and reason that he did them service. But being a needy pedlar of words, sold 'em to the best Chapman, as the Italian Bravos prostitute their pistols and still etto's to all the lewd Designs of mischief. Nay he is so vain and ostentatious to make the world believe, that his Satyrs had effectual gull, and that the Blemishes of his Pen would most severely stick where they lighted. And who d'ye think must be the first that was to feel the signal Effects of his wrath and disgust? No less a parsonage then his Rooyal Highness. This he thought was Par Congressus, and would render his famed immortal. And what was all this for? Because the Duke was not pleased to gratify his humour about an Idle Play. A crime assuredly of a most high nature, scarce within the bounds of pardon, for an inconsiderable Play— Wright to bend the force of his poetical Licence in the defence of a cause by himself not approved, and consequently to put an Imposture upon the Nation to endeavour to dethrone the kingdoms Heir, on purpose to satisfy his Rancour and Revenge against the Duke. And all this not out of his zeal for the public Welfare, but out of Malice forethought against the second person of the Realm, contrary to his conscience, his judgement and opinion. It is a small satisfaction for so high an offence, to come with a glozing panegyric and think to cover former injuries with the tawdry vail of a piece of flattery. For if ascribing praise be a doing Honour, the person that Honours must be truly qualified to give it. But the world will hardly be brought to believe, that it can be any more Honour for a person of Sublime worth and dignity to be applauded by a prostituted pen, then for a Lady of high birth and untainted virtue to be extolled by a common strumpet. Rather will they believe that such a Magnifyer would not stick to take the same hire again to commit the same transgression, were he in the same wide world under the same Temptation. More then this; had he determined to have shew'd the reality of his penitence by the cleverness of his proceedings, it had been more proper for Mr. Settle to have stormed his own book, and to have battered it with all the force of his Tragic-fury, thn to fall with such a hungry Appetite upon the Plot, which receives no farther Detriment from this assault of his, but only that it will be thought to have been so Charitable as to have fed him all this while of his last Retirement. And had he not, in his own conceit quiter amnihilated the Plot, the Lord knows how long he might have eat and drank upon the Plot. But it seems he was weary of dieting too long upon one dish. All his Friends, even to the Draggle-tayl'd Female are sorry for him, and wish him a good Concoction; yet they vehemently fear 'twill cost him a most terrible surfet. Plots and Poultrey-Counters are wicked hard of digestion. Our Narrative-Monger might have learnt discretion from the Observator: He was wise and politic, and always wary how he denied the Plot itself; and therefore lived upon it for several years, only by Skirmishing with the Witnesses. He, like a wasteful prodigal, Ruins and consumes all at once, before he knows where to have more; for 'tis to be feared he wants learning to enlarge upon the Critic History of the Old-Testament. But Mr. Settle will never leave his B●y●sh-Tricks. Had he repeated his Narrative, as he was wont to do his Tragic Scenes, by bits and Scraps to the Scullers in Roffee's Ale-Boxes, they would have given him better advice then he has taken. But Mr. Settle was misled by many, and those the greatest men in England, whom he would involve in the same Crime. So people infected with the Plague, out of a particular Malice inherent to that disease, labour to bring others under the same Contagion. To which purpose they find him endeavouring to set up for a new Evidence, though, according to his usual folly, a day after the Fair, and accusing the dead for bidding him speak more favourably of Rebellion. A thing altogether as improbable as any thing he has objected against oats and Bedlow, that a person of that known Experience and reserved Wisdom, were there nothing else, should make such an open Declaration of his mind to such a one as Mr. Settle. For deep and wary Politicians will not so easily trust a Hireling. And therefore Macnamarr and zeal for that. He whom the towering Poet in his Epistle to the Female-Prelate calls Englands fastest Friend, of whose great services for England, the most ignorant of the Orcades were full; whose Counsils to the King were unshook by frowns, and unbrib'd by honors; he who had so Strenuouslly and so justly laboured to defeat a dangerous Faction, no less threatening then a growing Phaeton, this flattering Sycophant, having spent and forgot his Dedication money, without any respect to Gratitude or his own Reputation safely now besmears that once adored Honor, pronounces all this to be more Poetic Flames, and damned Flattery, and accuses his deceased▪ Patron of a most improbable piece of Treason. And therefore what man of sense or reason will so far prejudice himself, as to believe a scribbler of his Profession( for so he Stiles himself) that runs a trust upon the hopes of a Dedication, and studies Encomiums with the same Mercenary Soul, as fiddlers play at Bridegrooms Windows? 'tis either we thank your Lordship, or a pox take him, as the sum reveals itself and defrays old debts. I say what man of sense or reason can believe such a Miscreant Writer for all his Canting and recanting, though he cant and recant till Dooms-day? However, the Tide being turned and he having tasted other Obligations, the Narrative-Merchant complains, that this great man, and many others of the same Quality misguided him. But therein he tells the World a most gross untruth. For if his own words are printed right, while he wrote for them they guided him very right. For then in his Dedication to the Tories, Pocket— inspired no doubt, as now, he tells the world, That their Absolons and Achitophels and the rest of their Grinning Satyrs against the Whiggs had this unpardonable fault, that the Lash was more against a David then an Achitophel, while their Ranning down of the Plot, at so extravagant a Rate, savoured of very little less then Ridiculing of Majesty and turning all those several Royal Speeches in Parliament on that Subject only into the double-tongu'd Oracles that sounded one thing and meant another, He calls it farther the Branding the public justice of the Nation, and affronting even the Throne itself. Nay he goes yet one step farther, and says, That the Tories who will believe no Popish Plot, may as justly come under the Denomination of Fools, as they that David tells us, said in their hearts there was no God. This was one who says, he was no Hypocrite, for he wrote what he thought: no Clod-pated fiddler that sung against his Conscience. So then at that time, while he acted according to the Principles of integrity and Censcience, those great men of England certainly could be none of his misguiders. They could never be said to be his misguiders, who encouraged him, as much as in him lay, to repress the insolence of those that sought to Ridicule Majesty and brand the public Justice of the Nation. Now then what must he be, but a contemptible Renegado from his integrity, and a flashy Revolter from his Conscience, while he falls into those very Crimes that before he so justly taxed in others? A young Balaam, whom the Popish Baal Peor's have hired to curse a Plot against his Prince and Country. Wonder not then that this new Proselyte of Satan has made use of his utmost force to Ridicule Majesty and brand the justice of the Nation in Opposition to his first sincerity and Conscienee. For 'tis observed, that there are none so violent, none so Zealous Enemies, none that study more the Extirtation of Christianity then our European renegadoes among the Turks. All this while, who is this mighty giant? 'tis but Mr. Settle still. Now hear his own Description of himself: A thing so nameless and inconsiderable, that he is only to be described by Negatives. which are now to be altered according to that shape into which he has Proteus'd himself; that is to say, a person of no integrity, nor repute, no value, no belief, no credit, no Conscience. Now whether the mature Deliberations and Examinations of his Majesties Council& both houses of Parliament are to be arraigned at once by such a worthless animal as this, let all the sober part of the Kings Dominions judge. But you'll say, he is now a Recanter: a Recanter in the Devil's name. He recants that ever he did according to his Conscience, he is sorry that he did not ridicule Majesty, and brand the public Justice of the Nation. This is such a Recantation, that wherever it passes for such begets a strange conclusion, that there is but one great Knave in the Nation, and all the rest are Fools. For as for his personal offences against the Duke, they stand cowring only under the shelter of a short flourishing submission, not half sufficient to expiate injuries committed out of Malice and Revenge, and contrary to Conscience against so great a parsonage. For which it could be no satisfaction to decry the plot wherein he was never in the least concerned. So that Mr. Settle is the first since Adam' that ever altered the course of Recantations, and repented of acting against his conscience. But if you will not give him leave to recant, you may admit him to reform. For he says he is resolved to renounce both the Whore and the bawd. A blessed Reformation. But it is so contrary to his Genius, which is another sort of conscience of his too, that it is never to be expected. There are those charms in Salisbury-Court and Drury-Lane, that a young man of his robust temper can never resist. But you'll say he does not mean those sort of Whores and Bauds; no, no, he'll never make a Narrative against them, he's as great a friend to them as ever, and 'twas for love of them he wrote this Narrative; he means the Lust of Revenge which he gratified, and the Plot that rose up to lend him means and opportunity.' Thats but a shame. As if a man so bent to gratify his lust as he was, and a man of so much invention could not easily have sound out a way to gratify his passion, had the Plot never been. 'twas not the Plot neither, but the debate in parliament that arose from other circumstances that gave him the opportunity. But because he? could not revenge himself upon the parliament, there fore he resolved to reck his spleen upon the ●lot. Thus 'tis plain to all the world, that his continued lust of revenge, and no good intent to the public good, has been the occasion of all Mr. Settles malice against the Plot. So that whatever ammositie he may have against the bawd, he has not renounced the Whore yet. But now enter satan in Mr. Settles likeness, breaking ground and raising his first batteries against the plot, accusations upon accsations. It has furnished the world with an Ocean of guilded zeal and hypocrisy. Of which the chiefest president is his noun dear Self. It has made the greatest Atheists the greatest sticklers for R●l●●on; And is that such a crime? to bring Atheists to believe in God? But it seems tis Mr. Settles opinion. It brought the m●st rigid Fanaticks to the Church of Englands communion and Sacrament. And is Mr. Settle angry at that? yes— for, it was to capacitate them for offices of trust. And if they were thereby fitted for those Trusts, what should hinder 'em from having them It made the greatest true Protestant Citey Dons perjure themselves. That's as far fetched as his Mask of Orphens and Eurid●ce in the Empress of Morocco. For one swallow never makes a Summer. But the Poet thinks he is versifying, and therefore takes the liberty of a Romance. Others believe he meant Citie-Dun's, instead of Citie-Don's. For the first indeed may deserve the lash of his pen; as having been frequently Thorns in his side. The Plot would have made the Metropolis independent from the Crown, lopped the Prerogative and borrowed the Militia, to fight against Black Bills, Thus you see he is still Gratifiing his renounced whore, Lust of Revenge; for you must know the Poet has a peculiar Antipathy against B●lls of any sort what er'e they be, ever since the persecution of his Taylors: besides 'tis an entrenchment upon his Profession for any other people to utter any thing that so much as smells of a Hyperbole; a Liberty which Poets allow only to themselves. Though while he himself was talking hyperboles of another Nature, he might have let the Brown Bills pass, without calling the Corporal. In the mean while the Poet is to understand, that men Scholastically bread when they speak of Military Affairs, may not always be so fortunate as to express themselves in proper Military Terms. Tis enough to save the Plot from the Destruction of Settl●s Briarean Folly, that there were several Discourses of Military Preparations 'tis no matter what the weapons were, nor how called, whither the Discoverer spoken like a Cutler or a Gunsmith, or a Hermit. But such School-Cavils, Quibles, Quirks, and Quiddities you shall meet with all along in this same Plot-Menippus's Narrative; as if the solemn Determinations of the supreme Councils of the Nation were to be confuted and baffled by such a slicer of cucumbers, a mere Romantic Whiffler in Scotus or Zabarell. It has made the whole Body of Antipopish Dissenters in their highest Enmity against Plots and Rome, desire to be incorporated with the Church of England. What strange Crimes has this Retainer to other mens Trenchers found out against the Plot? For certainly no greater felicity could befall this Nation, then a happy union of all in General that profess the Protestant Religion against their Common Enemies the Papists. Such a League none but Sons of Belial would presume to grin at. And surely the Church of England most hearty desired it as much as the Dissenters, and is still ready to receive them into her Embraces. Now if this were the design of the Plot, why did not the Plot bring it to pass? Nothing but ill luck: For the Papists smelling the Plots intention, presently set all their deep-mouth'd Hounds upon her, that in a short time hunted her to a Fault: and now here's Jowler Narrative has started her again, and is resolved alone to run her quiter down. Now I would fain know whither Mr. Settle has not done like himself to show a dislike of the Union of the Nation? And next whither such a Son of Division deserves to be patron'd in a Hogstie. Then the Plot writ the Association. If he mean the pretended Association. 'twas a Bastard, and so more-like to be got by himself. If he mean the Association propounded in Parliament, he ungratiously bespatters that high assembly of the Nation, which was so far from proceeding in what was proposed without his Majesties good liking, that they petitioned him for his assent. But what signifies all this from a Bartholmew-Fair Booth-man? a Strowller about the Country with Farces, that betrayed his Friend Bose, who was cannon-shot to pawn his plate to supply his empty pocket, to the Pillory and Banishment. All which the poor man patiently suffered, rather then reveal him the Author of that damnable Lampoon, called a Game at Cards, presented inconsiderately to Mr. Duboys. And we may with as great probability believe that the hard Fate of his Friend frighted him into this conversion, and being of a Lampooning Nature, put him upon this Lampoon against the Plot. Which is no nine days wonder to them who have but cast an Eye upon his venomous Invectives against his Royal Highness. From the severest punishment of which there's nothing certainly protects him but the baseness of his Condition, while men of Repute and quality, the more unhappy in their Errors, suffer for less then the Hundredth part of what this Prostitute scribbler has done. But the world does not perceive the policy of this lofty rhymer; for could he but turn the Plot into a Fable, he would soon turn the Fable into a Farce. That, he thinks, would be a Rarie-Show indeed, to carry like Scarroons Comedians, from County to County among the Papists. 'tis ten to one but he has begun to build Sconces already upon the Credit of the Project: And more then this, 'tis said that the Jack-Puddings begin to Petition him already for places. But as Lust of Revenge against Princes, and Treason to Friendship seldom go unpunished, let him have a care this Lampoon upon the Plot be not the last Act of his Play. For he is to understand, that this Lampoon upon the Plot, which never any yet but professed Papists and Ribalds durst attempt, is a Lampoon upon Majesty, a Lampoon upon the Lords and Commons of England, a Lampoon upon the honour of the Judges, the learning and wisdom of the Kings Council, and the Integrity of the Juries. Worse then Varlet, he has endeavoured to besmeare the Throne with innocent Blood; to new die the Graceful-Robes of Peerage with the Crimson Stains of Cruelty and Oppression; to dishonour the Commons of England with the Character of Barbarous and Blood-thirsty; to involv the Judges, the Council, the Juries promiscously in the horrid crimes of Corruption and perjury: and all this, to offer up the Guiltless, the Beloved of God, to the Moloch of a Romantic-Plot. What no true Christian, no Man of Common Morality would have been bribed to undertake for the Guerdon of an Empire, this audacious Butter-flie of a rhymer has ventured at, for the small gains of a Dedication, and a little paltry Coppy-mony, to satisfy the hunger of his Debauchery. A Recantation, if it may be called so, and not rather a more fatal relapse into manifoldly worse transgressions then he recanted, purchased at a dear Rate. Yet greedily bought up by many, of whom Piety itself has this Charitable persuasion, that er'e this they have better considered the unhappy Consequences of their belief, and will therefore Sacrifice the Pernicious Sheets to the Flames which they deserve. Some men perhaps may not so well know, but all are to understand that this is not the first Recantation that Mr. Settle has made. It as natural as mud to an eel, for Mr. Settle to make Recantations, sometimes out of fear, sometimes out of necessity. And it is hard to say which has the most Predominant Influence over him. He has twice given it under his hand that his Mother was a Whore. Once to Mr. O. as not finding himself any way prepared to die,& as unwilling to forsake the Devil& his beloved works. Another time there was a Certain Gentlewoman that shall be nameless, who became so far inveigl'd with his Poetry that by her he increased the world with the Issue of two years. Afterwards, whither out of love or hatred, that he might perfect the work of undoing her, is uncertain, he would have married this Gentlewoman; but she having doubtless had the woeful Experience of his Poverty, and well understanding that four naked legs in a bed are not sufficient to maintain a Family, rejected his Suite. Which so inflamed his Lust of Revenge, that he came and broke her Windows, resolving to set a Bawdy-house Mark upon her Lodging. Presently the Gentlewoman complained of his ill usage to a Friend: and as the complaints of Women soon find a compassionate Champion, her complaints were not fruitless. For the Gentleman taking his Opportunity, soon called the Valiant Window-breaker to an account, and gave him so severe a Cane-Correction, that Mr. Settle, who was always indulgent to his Bones, and kind and merciful to his own flesh, not enduring that sort of Discipline, fell immediately into his never failing way of Recantation, and among the r●st of the Conditions proposed to him, readily, patiently,& willingly condescended to acknowledge himself the Son of a Whore. And this is the second known time that Mr. S●ttle has Valorously avoided the Just Indignation of his Enemies by defaming the Womb that bore him, and acknowledging himself the spurious Brat of Adultery. Yet this is that Contemptible He, who pretends to convince his sovereign of errors and Faylours in his Justice, and to put all the Lords and Commons of England upon writing Penitential-Psalms for an Inhuman Prosecution of the Innocent. And therefore, Quis quis Stolaeve purpurave contemptor, Quos colere debet, laesit impio versu, Erret per urbem, Pontis exul& clivi, Interque Raucos ultimus Rogatores Oret caninas panis Improbi buccas. Nevertheless, after all these crimes, far worse then those, for which he so severely sends his Lybian Empress to the other world, he vainly flatters himself in strange advantages that shall acctew from his betraying thus both his Soul and his Conscience and doing injury to Heaven. For he that endeavours to insinuate such bloody Aspersions u●on Gods anointed, and those high dignities next to him, injures Heaven itself. Nor is it the A●●ulation of his Majesties Halcyon reign, disturbed by a Plot will serve his turn, while he labours to extinguish the Prosecution of those that disturb it▪ I say after all this, oppressed with the thoughts of his future happiness, he falls into an Endymions Dream, and sancies to himself that he has now shaken hands with his troublesome Compan●on Whigg●s●, by which perhaps he was too strictly confined at least to public sobriety and moderation( for otherwise Whiggism, not Phylacteriz'd about with libels and Lampoons, walks about as freely and as unmolested, as the most Loyal. He that drowns himself in Healths to the King) and therefore he shall be at Liberty to look sense and Quality in the Face; which he pretends to have done before, when he was seduced by great Persons. But his meaning is, that now he hopes by his Conversion, as he terms it, to be in a capacity to return to his former vain and luxurious life among the young Extravagants of the Town, where he shall have nothing to fear, unless the watchful Eyes of bailiffs and Serjeants cause him to pull in his Horns, and creep back into his Shell. Far be it otherwise from all persons of Repute and Quality to admit him their presence contaminated with Ridiculing Majesty, and branding the Ju●tice of the Nation. Rather let him retire among the Turks, where if they want it, he may defend their Alcoran, or among the Jews where he may make a Studious Comment upon their Fabulous Talmud,. So employed he may perhaps linger out for some time a life borrowed from Justice, unless his despair give him up to a more early Fate. Here the Scene Changing, Enter Narrative, Solus, with a flourish. And here you are first to observe the scope of the Libeller's idle Discourse, which is to manifest, What an unthinking Pack of Jehu's the Papists were, through the whole Plot, and what Lunacy and Infatuation driven' em. Not considering what an Unthinking, lunatic, Infatuated Fool he was at the same time: For the Lunacy and Insatuation of the Papists, in their proceedings against heretics, is so well known to all the World, that he might have spared his labour. In the next place you are to take notice, that the weapons that he has chosen to make use of to play his prise withal, are Quibble, Evasion, Contradiction: Weapons which he has stolen from the long since baffled Vindication of Roman catholics, Stafford's Memoirs, The Morocco priest, and such like inconsiderabe Champions of Popery; and has now only new ground and whetted, lest they should be known again by their rusty Compexion. For who ever has red the lame objections which those Pampleteers have made against the Verity of the late dismal Popish Contrivance, shall find this Insolent Plot-Bravo to have only been their Ape, and to have mustered up their repeated Fallacies and Evasions to support his Insigificant, Rascally Recantation. And now that he may be thought to begin well, his first undertaking is to assassinate the Belief of the Intended assassination of his majesty. To which purpose, after he has been prying and peering up and down for Absurdities, Contradictions, and Impossibilities, to obliterate the Consult in April, which he calls the Hinge of the whole Plot: He is extremely also astonished, that in Pickering's trial, the Consult should consist of Fifty persons, which at Langhorn's trial were dwindl'd into Eighteen or Twenty: But the greater wonder is, That an Inconsiderable namless Fellow, by his own Confession, and which by the Attestation of others, never valued his own Oaths, Vows or Protestations, should be so nice a critic upon other mens, and yet speak so little to the purpose. For the Consult, as all Councils, Synods and Parliaments are said to consist of their full Number, tho' tis Ten to One, whether they may be all present at one time. Besides, there might have been Fifty at First, and but Twenty when Langhorn was there. But says Monsieur Narrative, The reason why the Fifty dwindl'd into so small a number was, because 'twas proved, there was never a Room in the Tavern would hold above a dozen; which is notoriously false: For the woman that came to Swear against her own House, became the laughter and contempt of the Court, and the Judges told Langhorn, that she had been very unfortunate in her evidence, to be so peremptory in what the standards by knew to be so untrue. Now what becomes of this Puny Argus's Pun of Fifty and Twenty being alike in the Sacred deliverers arithmetic. The Verum necessarium was, that there should be a Consult. 'twas not Verum necessarium, whether there were fifty or twenty, so there were enough to make a Consult. But this same Evidence-splitter has nothing to say to matter of fact; he only Trades in Contradictions, Absurdities& Impossibilities, Sad ware, God knows, to lay at the Top of the Basket, if he hath any better; and we would willingly allow him as much Wit as a Costermonger. For to Swear there were Fifty at Pickering's trial and Twenty at Langhorn's, was no contradiction: For in Contradictions Alterum negat ubique but the Swearing of Fifty is no denial of the Twenty, nor the Swearing of Twenty any denial of Fifty. Mr. Slipstring with all his perspicacious peering, does not find any Oath positive, that there was but just Fifty at Pickering's trial and no more, or but just Twenty and no more at Langhorn's, so that the Ubique negans being wanting in the same subject, the Contradiction vanishes. Looking a little further, we spy a Miracle, that Whitebread in January, should red an account of a crime, at St Omers, not committed till March following: That was somewhat strange indeed, but being more strange then True, the Miracle ceases. For the demonstration of Januaries Packet, relating to the error committed, had no relation to the time of the Penance. Whitebread might give an account of the Error committed in January and Pickering not be punished till March, without a Miracle. But he desires the Reader not to be puzzled to imagine how Pickering could present a Gun, between a Pistol and a Carbine, in a place there was not so much as a bush or a briar to shrowded a Pignee, and not be apprehended or seen by any of the Kings attendance. The Devils's in this fellow for putting shams upon the World. In the first place the Oath does not affirm that Pickering presented the Gun, but that finding the defect of the Flint, he deferred the Action till another time. Then he forgets that there was a very thick Grove at the end of the Pallmall, where His Majesty might have made his unfortunate approaches, as well as to any other part of the Park. In the next place, fellows prepared for such desperate designs, bigoted with a Belief of Merit, and present hopes of Heaven, are not such Milk-sops as the too often bastinadoed Settle, to fear Apprehending or being presently mangled to pieces. Nor is there such an Impossibilty but that a Villain so daring might have made an escape. For we red that the Duke of Buckingham was stabbed by a bold and resolute Ruffian, in his Chamber, talking with Monsieur Sobieze, in the middle of his Army; and yet the Historian says, he got away undiscovered: Yet when they saw the Duke weltering in his Blood, every person looked upon one another, marveling who should do that horrid Act, till Felton stepped out and discovered himself. And thus one of your Plot-slayers main Impossibilitys falls to the ground. And I have dwelled the longer upon this unpleasing Story, to show how little Credit there is to be given to what follows, when he has acted so weakly and faintly, where his dead-doing hand against the Popish Plot, should have struck most keenly home. Suppositions and Objections are frivolous, fallacious and villainous; but let him Answer this, wheher it were not more probable that the Papists, a people generally of debauched and murderous Principles, that bear no consciences towards heretics, persecuted by Penal Laws, should be induced out of their hatred of the Protestant Religion, and for the Advancement of their own, to remove the obstacles of their freedom and happiness by the Destruction of a heretic Prince, then that a few inconsiderable persons without any support or encouragement, should dare to Create such a horrid and bloody Plot of ther own heads, and then venture their lives by daring to justify it to the face of King and Parliament: And therefore this same crawling insect of a Protestant Poet, might have employed his time much better then in disgorging his insolent Gibes upon the Divine prevention of such Infernal Mischiefs. As little Reason he has to make Chimerical Armies, the sport of his loose Wit: For let him sneer at Armies of Satyrs and Centaurs marching through Cheapside, the bubbles of his Tragical Pericranium, yet the intent of raising Armies,& the Promises and expectations of foreign Aid, the Nerum necessarium, were not only Sworn by the Evidence, which he derides, but evidently demonstrable out of Coleman's Letters. What else means this signal passage? We have a mighty Work upon our hands, the Subduing of a Pestilent heresy, which has domineered over great part of the Northern World, a great while. There never was greater Hopes of Success since the Death of Queen Mary, till these our days. But the Opposition we are like to meet with, is also like to be great, so that it imports us to get all the Aid and Assistance we can. And all this the Narrative-monger did once so really believe, that he upbraids and taxes those he once called Tories, for being so nice and scrupulous for mistrusting a Popish Plot, for want of sufficient Circumstances, when they could believe a Protestant Plot, without either Witnesses or Circumstances at all. And for disputing about raising of Armies, and not one Commission found, and yet could swallow the raising of a Protestant Army, without either Commission or Commission Officer. Nay, the very When, Where or How, were no part of their Considerations. But now, by what ill fate heaven knows, but only for a little Pocket money, the same Scruples, the same Niceties, are crept into Mr. Settles Conscience; finding it no doubt as empty as his Pocket. And therefore, mounting upon the Rosinante of his own Vain Wit, he undertakes, like another Don Quixote, to Fight French Armies, Spanish Armies, and Armies of Jago Pilgrims, without so much as the help of one Sancha Pancha. He would make ye believe, that the French King was half a Protestant, as having ravished from the Pope, the best flowers in his Garden, and bidding Defiance to the Thunder of his Excommunications: And thence insinuates that the French King cared not what became of the Plot or the Popish Religion in England. Not considering, that the most bigoted Prince in Europe, Charles the V. at the same time that he was designing the destruction of the German Protestants, besieged and took even Rome itself, and held the Pope Prisoner in his own City; and never minding that the French King was then, as now, aspiring to the Univerfal Monarchy, and might be therefore glad of an Opportunity to get footing in England, not out of any Religious Design, but to make it the Acquist of his Ambition. As for the King of Spain, he tells us, his condition was such, that he had occasion for ten times more Armies then he had. As if a broken Merchant might not put out a sum of money, for his own advantage, at the same time that an Execution was Seizing upon his Warehouse. He is mighty merry at the thoughts of the Blind, which the jesuits found out, of throwing the Death of the King, upon the Presbyterians. Tho it be well known to all the World, that it has been since, their chief design to throw the whole Plot upon their backs. And it is to be feared, that some unwary people, who call themselves of the Episcopal Party( for I leave out the Papists, who want no information) do half believe it already. So far was it from being such an impudent piece of Madness or Lunacy as this Ninny-hammer of a Narrative-Monger, would make it; the worst at Absurdities, Impossibilities and drawing of Consequences, that ever red For the due joining. For were not his Genius wholly at the Devotion of his Pocket or his Codpeice, he might all along have observed, how the Papists themselves are puzl'd to disown a plot, but onely they would fain remove the Load of the Reproach from their own Shoulders. But then to talk of a Massacre, is the greatest sport to him in nature. For quo he, what need so many Commissions for the preferment of Popish Bishops, Abbots and Priors, when the People were all destroyed? Hold a little— Men do not always perform what they speak in their Passion. They that tereaten'd not to leave a man that pissed against the wall. did not always put the utmost of the Menace in Execution. And the wiser sort, when they are once sure of the day, think it better to triumph over the Living then the Dead. On the other side the Papists have not been so compassionate to the heretics, that a Massacre of the most Barbarous Nature, may not be laid to their Charge. Witness that of the Albigenses, where they destroyed Men, Women and Children, with an exorabe cruelly, even to the depopulating of a large Territory. Nor may we omit the Irish Rebellion, a mere Inundation of Murder and Massacre. that spared neither Sex nor Age nor Parent, nor Friend, nor Relation, till it was stopped by force; and therefore, notwithstanding Mr. Shallowpates mirth, it would have been but ill trusting the Papists in England, had the Plot gon on. Now whether they would have cut our Throats with Brown Bills or blew Bills, thats not the Question. All this while, here's nothing to the business, here's nothing said to the verum necessarium: for still the substantial part of the King's Evidence agrees with Coleman's Letters, that there were endeavours, and large endeavours too used among the Papists in England to subdue the pestilent heresy of Protestantism, and to procure all the Aid and Assistance they could get. And therefore the extravagant Discourse of men flattering themselves with conceited hopes, which many times elevate the Fancy, even to a kind as Luxuriancie, is no Argument to invalidate the more subtle and solid Part and Conduct of the Plot. No, no, the Plot was too deeply laid to be undermined by such a young Sophister as Settle, or to be torn from the Cheeks of Truth by the Off-spring of a Toothdrawer. He takes great Advantage from the different accounts which oats and Dugdale give of the various Discourses they heard of the management of the Design. We understand him,— he would have had all the several Gangs and clubs of Plotters have all just jumped in one and the same sense and opinion, like the Translators of the Septuagint. As if he could be such a Nicodemus, so blockishly ignorant of the world, not to know that where several people are engaged, there will be several Sir politic Woodbe's, that will be putting their Oar i'th Boat where they are concerned; one will be proposing this, another that, and many a Fool's boult will be shot, and this Discourse, though never so simplo is Treason, and fit to be known by way of Circumstance. But from hence to bring a Conclusion there was no Plot! where was this Son of a Barber born? But now, quoth our Impertinent Plot-Thrasher, what think ye, if I prove the work was to have been done by no Armies at all? Why truly had he had any thing else in the world to do, he might have spared himself the labour; for so long as it was to be done, the cheaper they did it, the less it would have cost' em. However Ireland, one of the Executed jesuits, was of opinion, that there was no way to bring the business about but by a considerable force, which he mustered up to Fifty thousand, affirming a less number would not suffice. Neither did Langhorn absolutely deny at his Trial the having of Commissions, only he denied them to be seen upon his Desk. But I will not dispute the Case farther with E. Settle; for perhaps he might know more of the Plot then they that were hanged did. And therefore for Jago-Pilgrims and Flandrian or French Armies, if he will not have 'em to carry on the Plot, let him take 'em to Garrison his own Castles in the Air. As for the Irish Plot, he swears by all the Idols of the Moabites, there could be no such thing: for if there were, then the King of Spain was a Blockhead, and the King of France a lunatic, and ought to come to E. Settle to be better instructed in State-Politicks; for which, when they have learned effectually, they shall only make him a Leg, and thank him in two Verses broken of Horace, — Dii te, Damasippe, Deaeque Verum ob Consilium donent Tonsore.— Now because most of his Romantick Objections against the Irish Plot depend upon Plunkett's Trial, upon which he was condemned, I shall not trouble myself to make any further Defence for Courts of Judicature, then what has been made already. He is very inquisitive after the Reason why Pickering was to have had 1500l. and the four Ruffians but 20l. apiece? What's this to the destruction of the Plot? Every man makes as good a Bargain for himself as he can; and it is the property of a Ruffian to demand less for killing a man, then for lam-basting him. If they were Gentlemen of Rank and Quality, as he says they were, which was more then the Evidence themselves either knew or said, 'twas a sign they undertook what they did out of pure zeal and not for Money, as the Recanter wrote his Narrative. But these are Questions fitter for the Discussion of a Country Barbers Shop, then to trouble the thoughts of Rational men. For what tho Bedloe were the son of a cobbler? What absurdity thence arises, but that he might be proffered his share of five thousand pound to head a band of Bravo's to execute a Murder? The jesuits knew murder was dearer in England then in Italy. However since the Son of a cobbler Swore it, why should the Son of a Barber Question it? 'twas pity the jesuits had not known Mr. Settle at that time, to have made him their Treasurer, that he might more equally and uprightly have proportioned to every one their shares according to their Rank and Quality. No doubt but he would have given them an Excellent account of their Money at the Plots end. Tis a strange'thing; nothing well please this Plot-Swashbuckler. 'tis such a Mr. Find-fault, why whats the matter? Why now forsooth, Sir Ed. Godfrey was not murdered to his mind. Now if he were not murdered according to the Protestant Poets mind, as he would have had it done, if he had had a finger in the murder then it could be no Tragedy, for he is old Dog at a Tragedy; and if no Tragedy, then was Sir Ed. Godfrey never murdered. But as if Heaven had infatuated all that go about to defend that execrable Murder, he makes such false Passes, such fallacious Objections, and mistaken Applications, that neither the Blockhead King of Spain, nor the lunatic King of France, ever committed grosser Errors in the height of their Stupidity. For the Barbers Son does not observe that what the cobblers Son declared before the Lords, in reference to the fact itself, was only by relation from others. For that neither at the trial, nor before the Lords, did Bedloe undertake to distinguish the Parties that did the fact. In the next place, the Barbers Son does not observe, that there were Parties engaged in his murder; the Cobler's Son's Party, and Prance's Party. Now it happened that Prance's Party got the start of Bedloe's. But when the fact was committed, both Parties closed, and fed their Curiosities with the beautiful Object of a murdered heretic. Which is the true sense of Bedloe's Deposition, tho this Recanting Plot-Killer would so fain scrue it to his own wicked purpose. Thus it is plain that Bedloe's Oath was either previous to the Fact, in relation to his Contract with La Phaire, or post factum, in reference to his being carried to view the dead Body. Prance Swore to the positive matter of fact, as it was acted by him and his complices, and so to all the succeeding circumstances of Removal and concealment of the massacr'd Body, till the Murder was laid a sweetening, near Primrose Hill. To this Monsieur Flim-flam makes his first exception, that the Murder was committed without one syllable to any Questions asked, or the least dispute about sending for Depositions, &c. that is, he would have had them have made a Prologuee to their Tragedy, as he was used to do; but their Circumstances would admit of no such delays. Then he admires, that such a Fact should be committed in the sight of a sentinel, who had ten times more Authority and Power to prevent the Quarrel, then the Justice of the Peace had; forgetting that it was positively sworn that there was no sentinel there. In the next place he is angry, that the Murderers did not lay the Body in the Street, and come out like Felton, and bravely confess the Fact, but that they removed him from place to place, as their Fears and Jealousies prompted them, and the heinousness of the Crime required; which he looks upon as a great Absurdity. And now, what may we think of such a Bungler as this, who having undertaken to vindicate Murder and Treason in the highest degree, and the Innocence of the Papists, under such a bloody Charge of Impious Plot, and Infernal Conspiracy, with a glorious presumption to have outdone all others that went before him, could find no better Implements to advance his Reputation of being the Wonder of his Age for completing such an Herculean Labour, but a company of moth eaten, baffled, silly, nitty Objections, and pretended Absurdities, which his old Sculler-Pot-companions would have been ashamed of? We may justly believe that for half the Sum proffered to the Cobler's Son, the Barber's Son, had he had as much courage to assault a man, as to lift up his hand against a surprised Woman, would not have stuck to have committed the same inhuman Murder himself? Yet after all these Paltry Reflections upon the cruelty and strangeness of the Assassination, he has the insolence to affirm, that after Hill, Berry and Green were apprehended, all Difficulties were removed, and all Differences adjusted: As if the Judges of the Land sate in their High Courts of Judicature to reconcile the Incongruities and Incoherences of perjured Evidence; a Crime certainly not to be forgiven by injured Authority. Having made this frivolous Attack upon Sir Ed. B. Godfrey's murder, he falls into another ecstasy, and admires that of all those Letters and packets of Treasonable correspondence sent by the common Post, none should be intercepted, none preserved by the Discoverers, for the justification and proof of the Discovery. Where's the Improbability? For the King has no Inquisitor that sits in his public Office to break up Gentlemens Letters; it is that which the great obstruction of Commerce will not allow. And yet there was a certain packet sent by the common Post, directed to Father Beningfield, which by an unlucky Fate, mist falling into the hands of those who would have made better use of it. No man can be so indiscreet as to believe that the Irish Rebellion was carried on without correspondence, and yet it broke out like a Torrent without discovery. And then for the latter Part of the Objection, the Protestant Poet has made a most clever Answer to it himself. For when the Cardinal put this Question to Pope Joan's Witnesses, Can you produce those Letters? that is to say, such Letters as were to prove the D. of Saxony's heresy. The Protestant Poet makes Answer, No, my Lord— For still the cautious Damasus made his Soul His Treasons Cabinet; all dangerous Papers No sooner red, but burnt.— So ingenious he could be for Pope Joan at a pinch; but in his Countries and a discarded Protestant Cause, the greatest Bufflehead in Nature. His Post-script is like the Fools Part in a Fortune-Playhouse-Comedy, to make the sixpenny Gallery Sport; you there finding him a perfect Jack Pudding, and like another Merry Andrew, telling the jesuits, what He, the Worshipful Protestant Poet would have done, had he been of their Consult. And under the Cover of a Fancy of his own, mistak'nly carried on, beyond sense or Reason, drolling with the King, and taxing the Duke of Ormond of ill management; so that in the next Popish Plot, he has bespoke himself to be a both sides. On the one side, chief Manager of the Plot, on the other side, President of the council, and Lord Lieutenant of Ireland. But it is high time to have done with such an impertinent Son of Necessity, the general scorn of his Recantation, and disdain of his Nefarious Attempt being sufficient to condemn him. And indeed it might be expected, that ere this he should have condemned himself. And that we might have had Tidings of his drowned carcase being taken up at White Friers Stairs, by some of his old Friends the Watermen's Boys. The lightest punishment to which he could have sentenced himself for having thus at the instigation of his Belly, so boldly presumed to vent an Infamous and Rebellious Libel, with all the reflections that hungry falsehood and poetic Forgery could invent, upon all the Judicial Proceedings of the Nation. A new surprise upon the Kingdom, which cannot well be determined whether greatest, at the Irreligion of a converted Infidel, defending Acts of Impiety, or at the Confidence of a Subject contending against the Justice of his Sovereign. For to give him Dilemma for his Dilemma; Either he is in the right, and the Embody'd Prudence and Justice of the Nation were in the wrong; or the Embody'd Justice and Prudence of the Nation were in the Right, and he is in the wrong. And then what sort of open Retaliation he deserves for the worst of Crimes, they whose Wisdom, whose Justice, whose Integrity, in the highest places of Dignity he has so insolently and scandalously reproached and affronted, are best able to determine. Nor is there any thing that can pretend to save him, but this one single Expedient, that while all Men know him to be a mere Natural Animal of a Poet, his whole Recantation and Narrative must be taken for a Fiction. FINIS.