THE TEARS OF THE PRESS, WITH REFLECTIONS ON THE Present State OF ENGLAND.  
LONDON, Printed, and are to be sold by Richard Janeway in Queens-Head Alley in Pater-Noster-Row, 1681.   

THE TEARS OF THE PRESS.  
THE Press might be employed against or for itself, according to the Good or Hurt its labours have spread abroad in the World. Look on them on the one side, you will confess the Tears of the Press were but the Livery of its Guilt; nor is the Paper more stained than Authors or Readers. The Invention of Printing, whether as mischievous as that of Guns is doubtful: The Ink hath poison in it, the Historian as well as Naturalist will confess: For Empannel a Jury of Inquest, whence Learning or Religion hath been poisoned, and, Scribendi Cacoethes, dabbling in Ink will be found Guilty: For,  
Learning hath Surfeited us; for amongst other Excesses, that of Learning may Surfeit us according to Tacitus, and this was true before Printing, when the Cure of the Disease( most are sick ( nisi te scire hec sciat alter) of Publishing; which was harder by reason of Laborious Transcription, Vanity or Contradictions, Employing the Pen even then. Of the former, let Dydimus the Grammarian led the Van, of whom Seneca saith, Quatuor millia Librorum scripsit, miser si tam multa supervacua legisset, That he wrote 4000 Books, miserable Man if he had red so many Pamplets; and in those Controversies about Homer's Country, whether Anacreton offended more in Incontinence or Intemperance, &c. most of them being stuffed with such, or Grammatical Questions: A Disease continued, if not increased since Printing, two much declining things, for the Declension of Words. Witness such laborious Works in Criticisms needless.( I asperse not the wise Choice of useful queries in that Study) The Result, it may be, of many Pages, is the Alteration of a Word or Letter, its Addition, or Substraction. O painful Waste Paper! How empty is the Press oft-times when fullest? Empty, we must aclowledge that which Vanity filleth, as we may well think, when it issueth some poetic Legend of some Love Martyr, or some Pious Romance, of more than Saints ever did, or some Fool, busied about Government, in the Neglect of his own Affairs and Sphere. What Pamphlets these Late Times hath swarmed with, the Studious Shop-keeper knoweth, who spendeth no small time at the Bulk in reading and censuring Modern Controversies or News; and will be readier to tell you what the Times lack, than to ask you what you lack. We live in an Age wherein was never less Quarter given to Paper. Should Bocaline's Parliament of Parnassus be called among us, I fear our Shops would be filled with Printed, Waste Paper, condemned to Tobacco, Fruit, &c. Hardly any Cap-Paper would be in use, till that of Legends, Pamphlets, &c. were spent. How justly may we take up that Complaint in Strad. lib. 1. Praelect. 1. wherein he brings in Printers, complaining against rhyming( poetic they would be called) peddlers into the Press; Quique noctu somniant, boec mane lucem videre illico gestiant, already what Danger are we in of eating up Antichrist confuted in the Bottom of a Pie? Or to light Tobacco with the dark Holdings Forth of New Lights? To see the Antinomian honeycomb holding physic( at the Second Hand) in a Stool-pan sure argueth a Surfeit in the Press, that thus swarmeth with Vanity or Controversies; which is its worst Fault, as being the Mischief of a Sadder and engaging Consequence. Alas, what now is the Press but an Office of Contention, issuing rather Challenges than Books? When Pulpits grow hoarse with Railing, then doth this take up the Quarrel, that oft admitteth of no Arbitrator, setting the World on Fire of Contention, Schism and heresy; introducing Strife, Wars, and Bloodshed. Alas, how miserable is Truth torn by Antilogies, and little better than Scolding, and suffereth more by this Pen and Ink War, than by Pike and Blood-shed: By how much more captivating of Assent, Sophistry is than Success among reasoning Souls( that coming nearer Reason, than Success, doth Justice) And we know Truth is oft watered by Martyrs Blood, receiving more Strength from the Red-Letter'd Days in an almanac, than whole Tomes of Pro's and Con's. And what Truths, politics or News suffer by the Press, is Weekly experienced: It is nothing to kill a Man this Week, and with Ink, instead of Aqua Vitae, fetch him Alive the next; to drown two Admirals in one Week, and to buoy them up again next; so that many of those Pamphelets, may be better termed, The Weekly Bills of Truths mortality, than Faithful Intelligences of Affairs.  
Nor fareth it better with Peace than Truth; the Feathers and Plume seconding the Quarrel of the Quill, from Inveighings to Invadings, Declarations to Defiance, Remonstrances to Resistance; and that to Blood.  
The Press rippeth up the Faults and Disgraces of a Nation, and then the Sword the Bowels of it. What Printing beginneth by way of Challenge, its Contemporary Invention, Guns, answers in Destruction Accents.  
And the enormities of the Press are caused partly by Writers, and partly by Readers.  
Among Writers, some writ to eat, as Beggars examine not the virtues of Benefactors, but such as they hope or find able or willing, they ply; be they good or bad, wise men or Fools, so do they beg of any Theme that will sell, true or false, good or bad, in rhyme or Prose, and that pitiful or passable; all is one, Ink must earn Ale, and it may be Three penny Ordinaries; writ they must against Things or Men( if the Spirit of Contradiction prove Saleable) that they can neither master nor conquer; sparing neither Bacons, Harveys, Digbys, Browns, &c. though nought else do they obtain, except such a Credit as he did that set Diana's Temple on Fire, to perpetuate his famed.  
Another sort are discoverers of their affections, by taking up the Cudgels on one side or other; and it is come to that now, that Author scarce paseth, that writeth not Controversies, Ecclesiastical, Political, or Philosophical; though far better it were for public good there were more( deserving the Name of Johannes de Indagine) progressive pioners in the Mines of Knowledge, than Controverters of what is sound; it would lessen the Number of Conciliators, which cannot themselves now writ but as engagedly biased to one side or other; but hese are Desiderata vereor semper desideranda, hangs wanting, and to be desired( I fear) for ever.  
A Second Cause of the Enormities of the Press, ●re Buyers, the Chapman's Vanity, and weakness of Choice, maketh the Mart of less worthy Books the bigger. Such is the Fate of Books, as of other Ware, the courser the Ware, the more the Seller getteth by it: Examine the Truth, and it will ●… oo evidently appear, that in these times the Book●… eller hath frequently got the most, by those Books ●… hat the Buyer hath got least, being not only the ●… uck of Rablais's Bookseller, that was a Loser by ●… is Book of Seneca, and judgement, but abundantly repaired by that Ingenious Nothing, The Life of Garagantua and Pantagruel. What Age ever brought forth more, or bought more Printed Waste Paper? To red which, is the worst spending of Time( next the making them) and the greater price given for them, and far above their Worth.  
But the Distemper of the Press being so various and hazardous, what Cures can we pro●… ose?  
Why truly, for them in Fieri, no such Correcting the Press, as breaking it; but the chiefest Help is Prophylactical, a Care preservatory; also an Index Expurgatorius of Vanity and Whimsies, would save Paper from being so stained, and would keep it from Burning( it may be) by the Common Hangman, and so a Nation less molested, idle persons better employed: But not to make our Eyes sore by only looking on the Hurt, let us turn them on the Benefits of a well Employed Press, and then we shall see it a Mint of solid worth, the good it hath done( and yet may do) being inestimable; It is Truth, armoury, the Book of Knowledge, and Nursery of Relegion; a Battering Ram to destroy and Overthrow the Mighty Walls of heresy and Error, and also communicative of all wholesome Learning and Science, and never suffering a want of the Sincere Milk of the Word, nor Piety's practise to be out of Print( and that not only in one Book) constantly issuing out Helps to Doing, as well as knowing our Duty: But the worth of the Ware-House will be best known by the wears, which are Books, which will herein appear; which also no prudent man will deny that they are.  
For Company, good Friends; in Doubts, Counsellors; in Damps, Comforters; Times Prospective; the Home Traveller's Ship or Horse, the busy Man's best Recreation, the Opiate of Idle Weariness, the Minds best Ordinary, Natures Garden and Seed-Plot of Immortality; Time spent needlessly from them is consumed; but with them twice gained; Time captivated and snatched from a Man by Incursions of Business; Thefts or Visitants, or by one's own Carelessness lost, is by these redeemed in Life; they are the Souls Viaticum, and against Death a Cordial.  
FINIS.   

TO THE READER.  
POor England resembles a Ship Tossed with many Turbulent Waves, perpetually in danger of shipwreck, greatly to be pitied, in that Rome and Hell Combine against its Felicity, with respect to its Religion and Property; in the one, to over-throw God's Honour; in the other, to put a period to our Prosperity, desiring to make us miserable in the loss of our Estates; or which is Worse, in the loss of our Souls: In the one, aiming to Divest us of our Rights; in the other, to Deprive us of our Salvation: Our Estates they would have, but they will not abate of our Souls in the Bargain. But to our good, has the Mercy of God Disappointed them, and Preserved us, notwithstanding their Plots cunningly laid and devised on the one part of Destroy us; but failing there, on the other to Defame and Incense us, in Wronging the Presbyterians with False Accusations, and endeavouring to Incense us against them with Unjust Prejudices. But both have Thriven alike, viz. The one being discovered before put in Execution, and so hindered; the other detected timely, and so quashed; the like fortune hath befell their further designs. But what effect these growing Conspiracies may produce, we know not; our Enemies being restless to Disturb and Subvert us; and our Escape seeming Dangerous and Doubtful: But however our Industry on our part is required, success in Gods hands alone is; we must therefore work in doing our part with Diligence, and wait on God with Patience; for at present our state looks darksome, as it is endeavoured clearly to be Illustrated in this following Dialogue, between Jeroboam, an Ill-wisher to our Good and Prosperity; and one inclining to that Party that would destroy us, in emptying us of our present Enjoyments, and willing to make us Sin, in endeavouring to Proselyte us to themselves: The other is Jehu, one standing for the Nations Good, though it may be on a rotten bottom, affecting that in Notion, which he will not stand to in Reality; the Prolocutors representing the present miserable state of the Nation; to wit, either inclined to Popery, or but Talking Protestants; the one which is professedly nought, the others but seemingly Differing; the Protestants in cord, in their hearts, such are most certainly very scarce.   

The Present State of England. Set forth in a DIALOGUE BETWEEN Jehu& jeroboam.  Jehu, 
HOnest Jerry, how dost?  Jerry, 
Oh honest! very good; but I'll assure thee, I am not over-loaden therewith: But what News? Ha!  Jeh. 
Ah, sad News indeed! Poor England is Circumvented with Plots and Projects, for its Ruin; Rome, France, Hell and Devils, Combine to subvert its Prosperity!  Jer. 
Come, come; with all thy whining hypocrisy, pretending a sincerity of kindness for thy Country, but in very Truth intending no other than a narrow Spirit and Design, for thyself, in either being counted what thou art not, or have that conferred on thee which thou never deserved'st.  Jeh. 
Well mayst thou be called Jeroboam; for as on the one hand thou revilstest me, so on the other, thou art an irresistible incentive to my Passion; in Reviling me, thou art evil in stirring up my Wrath, thou thereby art a cause of my doing Ill; I tell thee my Passion against thee is so boiling, that could I find in my Heart to offer thee Violence.  Jer. 
Do thy worst; but I have touched thee to the quick, thou art struck in the right Vein of thy odious hypocrisy, intending all John does, is for Johu's famed, Promotion, or Advantage.  Jeh. 
But Jerry, be as slight and frivolous as thou wilt, in very Truth, I must tell thee, that England, at this present, is in no good Condition.  Jer. 
Pish, Pish, Heed not every pragmatic Prater, that hardly any more than a Joynt-Stool, understands the sentiments himself delivers, with respect to the safety or the danger of the Nation.  Jeh. 
A way Jerry, with that thy scurrilous Aspersion against our Sagaces, even those who are Prudent in foreseing the evil that is coming upon us; be it known to thee, that our Nation is not so empty( as thou falsely wouldst persuade me it is) of Men able to give out prudent Sentiments of the Aspect of Affairs. Nay, things look so gloomy, as that an half-Eyed and witted Person may perceive.  Jer. 
Ha, Ha, Every prating Coxcomb, having no more Wit, than my Father's old Cap, tattling in a Coffee-House, must be counted Wise even to a States-man, though speaking as much Sense and Reason, as a cobbler or Carter, or as much as some such Fellows are usually Endowed with: Nay, some of them, it may be, of no higher,( at least-wise, not much higher) Function.  Jeh. 
You do not well, I'll assure you, thus to scoff at every one Concerned at the present imminent Danger of our Nation; every one so concerned and speaking, is not a Fool.  Jer. 
And I believe, no Conjurer.  Jeh. 
But because I am well acquainted with your thwarting Temper; waving this Argument, let us between ourselves seriously confer, and consider for our Satisfaction, or at leastwise my own, if thou art absolutely unconcerned, whether or no thy Native-Country prospers, or Groans under the most burdening Grievances.  Jer. 
Jehu, I am persuaded, that should be greatly regarded by them in Place and Authority, whose incumbent Duty it is: But knowing thee to love Applause, and active in any thing whereby thy Itch of Ambition may be gratified; pray go forward in thy Discourse.  Jeh. 
Those in Place, I grant herein to be concerned; therein thou speakest honestly: But however, we are not thereby engaged to an absolute Unconcernedness, whether or no we Flourish or Decay. And as to thy heavy and injurious Loads, which thou imposest on me, I tell thee, Thou art here thyself guilty of that Guile, whereof thou so much accusest me; inasmuch as thou( I am persuaded) art not willing to touch as much as one of the least of them, with one of thy Fingers.  Jer. 
sayst thou so, then in plain English I tell thee, take away applause, and the bottom of thy Zeal falls out, and then it will be could, Jehu; but Jehu I know thee, in vain is it for thee to endeavour its Covert by Lying, thou greatly affectest Ostentation, it is the very Basis of thy actions; thou art Cock-a-Hoop for this Man, that Man, this Party, the other; against this, for that; not for that such an one is an honest Man, and endeavours the Nations good in the preservation of Religion, to which Hypocritically so much thou pretendest, and makest a noise about; But that Jehu, Jehu may have Acclamations; Oh Jehu is an honest Man, and a good Protestant!  Jeh. 
Come, leave thy wonted flouting, and severe censuring, by looking into thy own Bosom, to see whether no vain Glory or Ostentation there dwelleth.  Jer. 
Say on, what thou hast in mind to speak, feign wouldst be at something whereby self-conceit in thee may be tickled, but know that I'll be none of thy Flatterers.  Jeh. 
Well, but dost not think England to be brought to a low Ebb? dost not think it to be in danger of Popery?  Jer. 
Do not talk of Danger of Popery many mens brains are at a low ebb, and so in danger of Folly.  Jeh. 
Why certainly thou wilt not make proclamation of thyself to be such a Villain, with this discourse thou entertainest thy Tory Companions, but take heed to what thou now sayest, or be it at thy Peril.  Jer. 
Pish Simpleton, I deny not a Popish Plot in general, but I believe we make more noise and stir than needs, I cannot think the Papists in general to be so treacherous, therefore why should we be so obstreperous?  Jeh. 
I know thee well to be a decliner to that wicked Party, but this would I demand; if in very dead their intentions of subverting the Government, and extirpating the Protestant Religion, are clearly manifested, and that by an harmonious testimony of several before engaged in their cursed Designs, and not holding a Correspondence together at that time, yet not disagreeing in their Depositions, but unanimously confessing the main Body of the Papists herein to be concerned?  Jer. 
What man! Every Papist in England, Away, Away, be not so credulous.  Jeh. 
Some Papists I exempt, in saying the main body of them, some it may be might be too poor to be trusted.  Jer. 
Admitting this, dost not think the Presbyterians would easily be induced to be their Coadjutors?  Jeh. 
No, by no means, although falsely and wickedly accused; which Sham-Plots have so plainly and perspicuously been detected, insomuch that nothing remains to be said, but Qui vult decipi dicipiatur; who is more Blind than he who will not see? who shall give heed to that wicked Woman Mrs. Cellier, or rather Devil Incarnate? Who shall believe her for the sake of the Bloody Blader? who shall give heed to such a piece of Jesuited antiquity, a peerless Match for Impudence and Confidence?  Jer. 
Who shall give heed to thee, so opprobriously defaming? hath this Woman ever injured thee?  Jeh. 
Yes, she hath me, inasmuch as she contrived the subversion of the Nation in general, and so consequently of me, as I am a particular Member thereof.  Jer. 
Ay, thou art a special Member thereof, no more caring what becomes of it, than my Dog, so thy fat carcase be not starved, nor thy full Coffers exhausted.  Jeh. 
Oh most uncharitable Wretch, wouldst afford me no better Comparison than that of a Dog, in my love to my country, loving nothing but my Interest, and what tends to its promotion? but Jeroboam, I know thee to be wicked; tell me I pray thee what is thy Opinion of famous Mr. Le-S—.  Jer. 
Oh Mr. Le-S— a worthy Gentleman!  Jeh. 
Of what, of a Rope?  Jer. 
Not as much as thyself.  Jeh. 
Mr. Le-S— and such as he is, are the Rats and Mice of the Kingdom, disturbing and devouring; but he has lately defended himself from the Charge of being either Papist or Jesuit, but let his Works Praise him.  Jer. 
Ay, and they do it better than thy Prating praiseth thee; But being we are a little engaged in discourse, Prithee what dost hear of a Popish Successor? there is a mighty noise about it.  Jeh. 
Ay, and no wonder, for if to such an one we were in Subjection, how could we expect our Liberty and Property to be in safety?  Jer. 
Ha! Dost not think him to be endowed with Nature, to love others, or at least himself, to have a Prosperous and Quiet Reign over peaceable Subjects, though in Religion differing?  Jeh. 
No verily, do I not believe any such thing.  Jer. 
But what if he will Promise it?  Jeh. 
I will believe him, so far as I'll credit any Man on the Word of a Papist.  Jer. 
Why Sir, a Papist; what has no Papist, dost think, either Truth, Conscience, or any thing in him looking like Religion, or Moral honesty?  Jeh. 
Ay, Ay, Religion and Honesty too, abundance of it they have,( that is) such as it is: their Religion instructs them to ruin, Kill, Massacre Protestants under the name of heretics; and their Honesty is to be faithful amongst themselves, in their damnable Plots contrived in order hereunto, though it be managed with the vilest Perjuries, lies, most false Equivocations, and wretched'st Protestations, and that even at the hour of Death, in Vindication of the Church catholic.  Jer. 
high, Perjuries, Lies, Equivocations, and false Protestations! and that when in Punctum Mori, at the hour of Death, just entering another World, and so in themselves persuaded, and to us professing; and Christians too, though in a different Party from thyself, would at that solemn hour pawn their Consciencies, and relinquish their hopes of a better Life; what art Mad to talk thus? Dost not think them then bona fide to declare the very truth?  Jeh. 
Come Jerry, be not Rash and Foolish, in the one by thinking to deceive me, in the other by aiming to Vindicate them; are not we well acquainted, that whatever is by them spoken in defence of their Church is Meritorious, and any Discovery against it is damnable, according to their Religious and Honest Doctrine? though in very Truth their accounted Merit is Damnation, and a faithful Discovery may through Gods Grace be a means of opening a door for Mercy.  Jer. 
But with all thy sense, prithee what expectations of Mercy could these men pretend to, thus dying, as thou with all thy Charity judgest?  Jeh. 
Only depending on a Popish Dispensation, which as they say, gives them Absolution, as doubtlessly did Harcourt, Whitebread, Gavan, Turner, Fenwick, &c. and my Lord Stafford since.  Jer. 
Pish, a mad Fellow art thou, to feed thy Fancy with such prejudicial imaginations; what dost not think them to be men of greater sense and Prudence than so?  Jeh. 
No, it's well enough known, notwithstanding all their sense, Reason, Wisdom and Prudence, that they were Members of the Romish Communion, embracing the wicked tenants of that Church; and that some of them were Priests and Jesuits, to whom it's natural to Equivocate, and by practise can manage it with the greatest Facility.  Jer. 
Thou art so Obstinate, I know not what to say to thee; for me to go to persuade thee contrary to thy received Opinion, were to persuade thee to believe thou art not a man in substance and proportion, or that when thou showest thy folly, to persuade thee to believe that therein thyself art not wise; two arguments of equal difficulty to manage; being thy fears are so great of Popery, prithee tell me what thy Thoughts are concerning the Blazing-Star which lately appeared; does it not presage some considerable event shortly to follow it?  Jeh. 
Yea certainly.  Jer. 
And may not that be good as well as bad? may it not signify that the D. of Y. shall reign many Years King of England, in case he survives his Majesty that now Governs, whom we all ought to pray for, that his Reign may be prosperous and long.  Jeh. 
Ay Jerry, I believe that it may betoken such a thing as thou speakest of, but not before his Head and Face becomes as bright as the Star, and his Beard as long and full; the first to signify his bright illustrious Innocency, and then the last follows in course, viz. his long reaching Dominions and Rule.  Jer. 
Well for all thy Scoffs, I tell thee plainly that thou art a Rascal, digest it as well as thou canst, I believe for thy part, if thou livedst under a Popish Government sooner for thy part wouldst Turn than Burn.  Jeh. 
Burn Popery, I am persuaded if ever it comes into these Nations, it will not be, Will you turn Papist, or have your carcase fried? No, but to Hack, hue, Cut in pieces by sudden Massacring.  Jer. 
And how dost think this will come to pass?  Jeh. 
Nay, how should I tell? certainly by our remissness, and our Enemies Vigilancy; for they Watch for harm, whilst we sleep in security as we vainly imagine.  Jer. 
What is requisite in Order to our Enemies disappointment, in thy Opinion, prithee?  Jeh. 
Certainly, to understand our own Maladies, to slight our Enemies Smiles, not to suppose them to rest, because they are not just now bussing.  Jer. 
Well, come we shall have something now.  Jeh. 
And well too, thou mayest hear me if thou pleasest.  Jer. 
Go on.  Jeh. 
If we understand not our Maladies, we can't apply suitable Remedies, and so our Disease may grow incurable; now the greatest Malady infecting England is Popery, which would be brought in; the effectual way of suppressing thereof, is indisputably by the unanimous consent of King and Parliament, together with good Officers, and Ministers of State being Elected, and the Cankered Popish turned out.  
The other way is to slight our Enemies Smiles; better is the Frown of a Friend than the Smile of an Enemy; an Enemy smiles on us with his Forehead, but murders us in the interim in his Heart; his Smiles are Deceit and ruin, in that he cunningly looks like a Friend, that the better he may exert his Enmity; hence many are deceived, and most infallibly ruined; this is the reason why his intended Mischief appears not, though laid open never so clearly, by reason it is cloaked under a confident Smile, and pretention to Amity, when in Reality there is nothing but an intention of Enmity, and the foreste and grievous hurt.  
By our resting from our Vigilancy against them because not always Stirring, is dangerous; for doubtless they lie slumbering that we may fall asleep, and thereby with the greater advantage they arise and devour us: But it is time for me to depart, I would have had some more discourse with thee, but the time permits not.  Jer. 
Why, art Departing? then I say Farewell Mr. Statesman.  Jeh. 
Well, and I say, pray be not such a professed Enemy to thyself, Nation, and all: Do not make it thy business to run about to disparaged the Kings Evidences, to make voided the Plot, to render it as a Ridicule; for I tell thee, England is in no good Condition, I fear.  Jer. 
And so I believe thy Brains are, which run a wooll-gathering, to I know not what.  Jeh. 
Some other things I had to say to thee in our Discourse, but I wave them; next time we meet, we may( by Divine leave) Discourse further; at the present, Farewell.  Jer. 
God b'w'ye.  
FINIS.