〈◇〉 CAVEAT FOR WIVES To love their HUSBANDS OR, Pleasant News From HELL.  
Written in Italian by that Grand Politician NICHOLAS MACHIAVEL And now Translated into English for a CHRISTMAS-GIGG.  
LONDON, Printed in the Year 1660.   

A CAVEAT FOR WIVES To love their HUSBANDS. OR, Pleasant news from HELL.  Written by NICHOLAS MACHIAVEL. 
woe God( says Machiavel) in the ancient memories of the valentine actions how that a wholly man,( whose strictness of life was in those times had in great admiration) being on a time very devoutly at his prayers was wrapped into a vision, wherein he saw the souls of many men who dying in the disgrace of God went to Hell, all or the greatest part of which complained, that their wives were the occasion of their coming unto that miserable place; whereat Monos and Radamantus and the rest of the infernal Judges wondered extremely, nor could they believe the calumnies which those men so generally threw upon the feminine sex to have any coherence with truth, but the complaints daily increasing and report of them being made to Pluto, it was thought convenient that this case should be maturely examined before all the infernal Princes, and that course taken by them which should be thought most convenient, either to discover the fallacy, or discern the truth. In pursuance of which a council being called, Pluto spake to them to this effect. Although I( dearly beloved) by celestial disposition and absolute and irrevocable fatality possess this kingdom without control, none can be obliged to any judgement heavenly or earthly, yet because it has been always accounted a part of prudence to take others advicee, have deliberated to be counseled by you how, I ought to govern myself in a case, which without a prudent management, may redound to the infamy of our kingdom for the souls of all those men who come into this our kingdom, complaining that their wives have been the cause of their so great misery, and this seeming to us impossible, wee doubt least should wee proceed to give judgement according to this relation, wee might be esteemed too cruel, and not giving it as, sufficiently severe in and too little lovers of justice, and on the one side fall into the scandal of being accounted light and vain, on the other side of injust, both which rocks we being willing to shun, we have called you that you might help us with such counsel as might preserve this kingdom, which hitherto hath been maintained without disgrace or infamy, in the same state for the future.  
To every one of the Princes respectively, this case seemed to be of great import, and worthy serious consideration, so all of them thought it necessary to find out the truth, yet they differed extremely in the manner: some proposed the sending of one, others of more into the world, who under the shape of men might personally inform themselves of the truth of the complaint, others again thought it might be performed without so much trouble, by forcing divers souls by several torments to confess it. But the greater party counseling the sending to earth, that course was determined on. But then another difficulty arose, for there was none who would willingly undergo that travail, it was therefore put to the vote again who should be sent,& at length to avoid partiality, concluded that the lot should determine it, the lotts being therefore cast, it fell upon Belfagor arch-devil( but before his fall from heaven arch angel) who though somewhat unwilling( yet constrained by Pluto's command) fitted himself for the journey,& to be obedient to whatsoever was in the council determined concerning him, which was, That unto whomsoever it should fall to undergo this business, there should immediately be given One Hundred thousand ducats, with which he should depart to this world, and under human shape take a wife, and with her live ten years, and afterwards feigning himself to die, return to Hell,& by experience relate to his superiors what were the burdens or Commodities of Marriage. It was likewise, declared that during that time he should be subject to all the burdens and ills incident to Mankind, as Poverty, Prisons, discontents, jealousies, sickness, and all other misfortune unto which men run, unless by his cunning or ingenuity he could free himself from them, Belfagor having therefore accepted of these conditions, and the money comes into the world, and having of his estate provided himself of Horse and Servants enters most honourably into Florence, which City above all others in the world, he choose to seat himself in, as the most fitting place for those who would live by usury,& causing himself to be called Roderigoti Castilia he took a house near the Borough of all Saints, and not to let people know what he was, he gave out, That when young he departed from Spain unto Syria, and had in Alleppa gained his whole estate with which he was now restored into Italy, to take a wife in places more human, and to a civill life, and his disposition more conformable. Roderigo was a very handsome man, And seemed to be about thirty years of age, which together with the great rules which in few daies he made show to have, and his civil and courteous carriage made many noble Citizens of Florence who had a great many daughters, and little money to offer him them in marriage. Among all whom Roderigo choose out a most beautiful dansel called Honesta, the daughter of Amerigo Donati, who had likewise three sons and three other daughters almost marriagible, and though he was of a most noble family, and of very good account in Florence, yet in respect of the great Charge he had, and likewise of his nobility, he was indeed but poor. Roderigo kept a most magnificent and splendid marriage, nor did he spare of any cost which might make it complete or equal to any other feasts of the like nature, being by the laws imposed upon him before his coming from hell to be subject to all human passions; and therefore soon after he began to take pleasure in the honour and pomp of the world, and to love to be praised amongst men, which was some cause of no small expense, but besides that he had not lived long with his wise Madam Honesta, but he fell in love with her beyond measure, nor could he live if at any time he saw her sad or displeased; yet so much pride had she with her nobility brought to Roderigo's house, that Lucifer never had so much, and he who had proved that of both, thought this of his wife the greater. But still it increased more and more when she had found out the great love which her husband bore her, whereby she perceivd that she might every way rule over him, so that she doubted not only to command him, but to abuse him with villainous words and scolding language, which though it were an incredible trouble to Roderigo, yet nevertheless the respect he had to his father in law his friends the tie of matrimony, but above all to the love he bore her made him endure it with patience. I shall omit the grand expense which he was forced to be at in clothing her after the new modes and fashions which abound in Florence, his being forced if he would be at peace with his wife to help to mary her other sisters which cost him no small sum of money, for after this he was constrained to gain quietness from her to sand one of her brothers with cloth into the Levant, the other with silks into the West, and to open a shop for the third in Florence, by which means he spent the greatest part of his fortunes. And moreover in the times of Cornevale and midsummer when that City of Florence by ancient customs use to feast, and the noble Citizens treat one another with sumptuous Banquets, Madam Honesta not to be inferior to other Ladies in those entertainments forced Roderigo to exceed all others in splendidnesse. Yet all these charges made not so great a hole in Roderigo's estate; as what she spent on her lovers, when under pretence of going for devotion sake to visit some Nunnery she met them at private Conventicles, which though her husband as our women now when they go to Lectures was sensible of, yet would he have patiently endured this with the rest; could he but have lived quietly at home, or that by these means he might have had liberty to have peaceably expected his ruin. But it fell out quiter contrary, for notwithstanding his insupportable expenses, her insolent nature still increased, and there was neither maid-servant not man who could endure the house long, whereby Roderigo's affairs went daily to rack by reason he could not keep any servant to look after them; for those Devils who in the habit of servants came with him from hell, choose rather to return into the fire of hell then remain there under herimperious brawlings. Roderigo thus enduring this tumultuous and unquiet life had now spent the greatest part of his estate, and began to live upon the hopes of his returns from the East and West, but having good credit, and still resolving to live according to the port he had first maintained, he in the mean time took up money at interest, which made him begin to be noted as a person in a decaying condition, to hasten which on a sudden news came, that one of the brothers of Madam Honesta had played away all those goods with which he was entrusted, and that the other returning with a ship laden with goods without having insured them, was with them himself drowned; upon which news the Creditors of Roderigo judging him now gone( though they could not yet discover it because their money was not yer due) took counsel together, least he should take occasion to fly before the day of payment. On the other side, Roderige seeing his case now desperate, and knowing to what the infernal law bound him, thought by all means to fly, and one morning early mounting on horseback, and living nigh the meddow-gate, gets by it out of the City, but his Creditors having watchful spies upon him, the news of his escape was immediately brought to the Magistrates, who soon ordered the pursuit of him; nor indeed did the Serjeants onely, but the whole City run after him; so that he not being above a mile from the Town when this Rumour was raised, found himself in an ill case,& therefore resolved to leave the road& traverse the fields, but not being able by reason of the many ditches, to go on horseback, alighting, he ran across the Vineyards till he came to the house of John Matthews a Countrey-fellow, to whom he made known his condition, promising, that if he would save him from the hands of his enemies who pursued him to make him die in prison, he would make him rich, and would before his departure give him such an account of the w●y, that if he did not like it he should deliver him into his enemies hands. John Mathews, though a country-man, was a stout fellow, and knowing he could not lose by the business was content to undertake it, and to that effect thrust him under a woodstack, which he had no sooner done but the pursuers arrived, but could neither by threats nor promises persuade John Mathews to confess he saw him, whereupon they passed forward, but not finding him neither that day nor the other, Returned to Florence. When all things being quieted John Mathewes takes Roderigo from under the stack, and requires him to perform his promise, to which Roderigo answered, Brother, thou hast obliged me very much, and I am resolved by all means to satisfy thee, and because thou shalt believe that I can do it, Ile tell thee who I am. Here he recounted who he was the laws he had to come out of hell, and the taking of his wife &c. And then  told him that the way whereby he would make him Rich should in fumm bee this, That when he should hear that any woman was possessed with an evil spirit, he should believe that it was he that was within her, and assured him that he would never go out till he came to fetch him, whereby he might have occasion to make himself be paid as he pleased, and having made this conclusion he vanished. Nor were there many daies past, but there was spread abroad a rumour throughout all Florence how a daughter of Mr. Ambrogio Amadei was possessed with a Devil, nor were her parents wanting to use all those remedies which are commonly used in Italy in like cases, putting on her head the Cap of St. Zanoby and the mantle of St. Geo. Gualberto, all which things Roderigo laughed at, but to make it clearly appear that it was a Devil, he disputed in latin and discovered the sins of many, among which he  told of a friar, who under a young Friers habit, had kept a wench four years in his Cell, In the mean time no remedy was found, till John Mathewes hearing of it, proffered Mr. Ambrogio to cure his daughter for five hundred Florines which he willingly agreeing to give, John Mathews causing several masses to be said to colour the business, whispered to Roderigo that he was come, and that therefore he should be as good as his word, to which Roderigo answered that he was content, but that he was not yet enough to make him rich, and that therefore as he was gone out of her, he would enter into the King of Naples daughter where he might have what reward he pleased, and that then he should trouble him no more. Which words ended he went out of the maid, to the pleasure and admiration of all Florence, nor past their much time but the news was spread that the King of Naples daughter was possessed, and no remedy being found, John Mathewes, whose famed was now abroad, was sent for, who being arrived, after some feigned ceremony cured her, but Roderigo before he partend out,  told him, Thou seest( saith he) that I have observed my promise in making thee rich, and therfore being disobliged in that, I am not bound to thee in any thing whatsoever, therefore be content to come no more before me, for if thou dost, as I have hitherto don thee good, so I will for the future do thee harm. Thus John Mathews having finished his work at Naples, returned to Florence very rich( for the King of Naples had given fifty thousand ducats) thinking now to enjoy himself, and not dreaming that Roderigo meant to offend him, but those thoughts of his were soon disturbed by certain new's from Prance, that the Kings daughter there was possessed which extremely perplexed John Matthews both to think of the power of that King, and of the words which Roderigo had spoken him, but whilst he was thus perplexed( no other remedy being found) comes a messenger to desire him to come and cast the Devil our, to whom he feigned himself sick and unable to go, whereupon the King sent Ambassadors to the senate who forced him much against his will, being therefore come to Paris, he first began to argue with the King, and ●●… ll him, That it was true that he had heretofore cured some who had been possessed with Devils, but it could not from thence be thought that he was to cure all, for that there were some Devils of so perverse a nature that they feared neither threats nor enchantments, nor any Religion, but however he would do his duty, and if he could not prevail, desired excuse and Pardon, to which the King passionately answered, that if he did not do it he would hang him, John Mathewes was extremely troubled at this, but however, putting on a a good heart, he caused the Kings daughter to be brought before him, and whispering in her ear, humbly recommends himself to Roderigo, remembering him of the benefit he had done him and telling of how much Ingratitude he would be example of, if he should abandon him in so great necessity. To which Roderigo answered, ah Villain, traitor, how durst thou appear again before me, dost think to boast that thou art made Rich by my means, I'll make thee and every one else know how to give and take away at pleasure, and therfore before thou goest from hence Ile have thee hanged, whereupon John Mathews, not seeing other remedy at present, thought to try his fortune another way, and sending away the possessed, tells the King, that as he had said before there were some perverse divels whom nothing could prevail with, and this was one of them, but however he would try a farther experience, which if it prevailed his majesty had what he desired, if not, he should be at his mercy, which he hoped he would use with that compasion which his innocence deserved. In the mean time( sai's he) your majesty shall erect a large theatre, capable to contain all your Barons, and the Clergy of this City, the theatre shall be covered with cloth of Gold and silk, and in the midst of it an altar erected and on the Sunday morning your majesty, with the Clergy, and all the Princes and Barons of your Realm, with Kingly Pomp and splendid and rich habiliments shall assemble upon it, having first celebrated a Solemn mass, shall cause your daughter to be brought, and moreover in one corner of the theatre shall be placed at least twenty persons with Trumpets, horns, Drums, Cornets, Symbals, and all manner of loud music which when I lift up my hat, shall, sounding those instruments, advance towards the Altar, which things together with some other secret Remedies will, I hope, dispossess the Devil, These things were punctually ordered according to his desire, and Sunday Morning being come, and the theatre filled with noble personages and the whole place with people, the mass being celebrated, the possessed was brought to the Altar, conducted by two Bishops, accompanied with many other persons of quality. But when Roderigo saw all this pomp and splendour, he began to reason with himself thus, what hath this foolish fellow thought to do, doth he think to fright me with all this show: does he not know that I am used to see the pomp of Heaven, and the Furies of hell? but I shall chastise him. In the mean time John Mathewes coming towards him, began again to pray him that he should depart; oh( sai's he) you have found out a fine invention, what dost think to do with all this foppery, dost think by this to escape my power, or the Kings anger? no, Ile have thee surely hanged, and thus one praying, and the other still denying, John Matthews thought fit not to loose any more time, lifting up his hat, the loud music advanced sounding, at which sudden noise Roderigo amazed, demanded what the meaning of it was, to which John Matthews replied, my Roderigo, tis thy wife who is coming to find thee out here. Twas beyond belief to think how much Roderigo was moved to hear his wife name, but so much it was, that not standing to think whether it was possible or not that she should be there, without replying any thing, in a great fright he immediately fled away, leaving the Kings daughter dispossessed, and choose rather to return to Hell, there to give an account of his actions, then again with so many disasters and discontents undergo the matrimonial yoke. And thus Belfagor returned to Hell to give account how much mischief a wife breeds in a house, and John Matthews who knew more then the Devil went merrily home.  
FINIS.