A RELATION Of the Defeat of the Rebels in the West, With an Account of their Plundering and Defacing the Cathedral Church at Wells, &c.  
STop Perkin, stop; Perkin Warbeck, Prince Pretty-man of Lime, the Taunton Comet, and Ignis Fatuus of the West, has with open Violence broken into the Church of Wells, thrown the Pulpit out of the Windows, and run away with the Roof. He hath robbed us of all our Spiritual Ornaments, like Sir William Waller, all under pretence of Popish relics; Consecrated Plate, Gallons and Pottles: We have not a Cup nor Chalice left to wet the Lips of a Thirsty Sinner.  
Oh! 'tis a dismal pain! We may all Ring backward now; this Cacafogo has set the Church on Fire, and melted down all the Leads. Yes▪ we may Ring, and make a noise till our Tongues drop out of our Mouths, and our Breeches be exposed to the open Air: None will be so Charitable to cover our Nakedness: What shall we do? Set Fire to our Wheels, and Hang ourselves to an Eternal Silence in our own Ropes? No matter, for should we be for ever Silent, all the Land will Ring of this Action; not a Pancridge with a Brace of Candlesticks, but in a lamentable Knell will bewail the misfortune, and desolate Estate of Wells and Glassenbury.  
The Grove Assemblies and Field Conventicles will only Envy us, who must needs now conclude our Conversation to be there, who have no other Roof but Heaven for our Covering. Besides in this time of the Warfare of the Saints, when Stables are Churches, it may prevent our Cathedral from being turned into Stables, for such Conversions are usual with the Saints, where Rebellion is Religion, and sacrilege Devotion. But who says Perkin has no Devotion, that can Whine out a Religious Cant with Ferguson, and has his Pockets stuffed with Bibles like Olivers Porter. O brave Perkin! There's your True blew Protestant, who in defiance of Popery, has vowed to support the Gospel by Defacing the Cathedrals, and Batter Babylon by Erecting Babel. This is a Method the very Papists, nay the Pope himself would Forswear; to take up Unjust Arms against Caesar, and Settle Religion by pulling down the Churches. 'tis a stretch beyond the Boldness of Absalom to Rob the Sacred Temple, and bring the Spoil into the Tents of Israel.  
But why this Religious Plunder? On what Golden foundation on does he intend to build his Church, that will not admit a Leaden Roof to stand? Was it out of Zeal to the Cause? Or Covetousness of the led, to find them Victuals or Ammunition? Had it been Irish state, it might have served to Heal the Soldiers Bruizes, and to Cleanse ill Blood, or but good wholesome Straw, it might have served for Provinder for his Horses▪ but led, and so many Tun too; save us from a great Gun. If the Rebels have such ostrich Stomachs, that they can digest Mettal, led, and could Iron; sure they had their Bellies full on monday last, enough to furnish them for a Voyage into the other World, when several thousands with Ferguson, lay dead upon the spot, and all it's thought, of a Surfeit of too much led, of over-charging the carcase with cold-Iron.  
The Tyrant, who to supply his present occasion, with a touch turned the Leads of St. Peters-Church of Rome into Gold; had some philosopher, who pretended it was done by the power of the Sun-beams reflecting so many years upon the Elevated Roof. But thou hast no more of Wit, than the Phylosophers-Stone, who can make no other conversion of led but into Bullets, which return ten fold upon thyself, or hammer it out into half-pence for want of Money,( as the Saxons did their Leather) bearing the Character of thy name, that is to thy Eternal memory, Rebel, traitor, Son of a w—,  
Poor Perkin, I ever feared the ill consequence of thy folly and groundless ambition; thy robbing of Churches, Rape and Plunder, were but ill Omens, and could never come to a better end. How couldst thou expect to come off with the loss of less than 15 hundred after the robbing of a Cathedral, when Cambyses lost 50 thousand for but attempting to Plunder the Temple of Jupiter Ammon, but a Heathen Deity? there were others who fared no better at Delphos, but what were either destroyed soon after, or ruined in the attempt: This I fear will be thy Fate suddenly, and all thy ungracious Adherents, with Grey, Goodenough, and the rest; when thou after so great a Defeat, past all Hope, as well as Grace, will come to some unlucky end, and we again shall have a new Roof, and flourish in spite of sacrilege and Rebellion.   

London, Printed for T. N. Anno Domini, 1685.