Love at a Loss, 
 OR, 
 Most Votes carry it. 
 A 
 COMEDY.  

 As it is now Acted at the Theatre Royal in Drury-Lane, by 
 His Majesty's Servants.  
 
Written by the Author of the Fatal Friendship.  

 LONDON: 
 Printed for at the Angel near, 1701.   

To the Honourable 
  MADAM, 

 THere are some Natures so firm, that 〈◊〉 
 Applause cannot Transport; Consensus of 〈◊〉 
 (which none are free from; they are still dissatisfyd 
 or distrustful of themselves, when most admired in the World, 
 but 'tis common for the lest vain, when oppressed with Calumny, 
 to assert themselves, and by reflecting on what they 
 find of most worth in their performances, to support themselves 
 under their ill Fate, and take their Revenge in despising 
 the Judgements that condemned them; 'tis thus perhaps, Madam, 
 I have encouraged myself to offer your Ladyship this 
 Trifle, which I confess was once too little my Favourite to 
 have designed it such an Honour; I never thought of making 
 any pretence to a Talon for Comedy, but written this when 
 the Town had been little pleased with Tragedy 〈◊〉, mingled 
 with one of mine, which since the taste is mended, appeared 
 alone; and this lay by me a considerable time, till Idleness 
 reminded me of filling it up, thus it was pieced with little 
 Care or Concern for the success; not intending too establish 
 my Fame upon it, till some of my Friends assuring me I need 
 not apprehended losing any by it, and the Censure it met with 
 since, endeared it to me, made me earnest to have it clear 
 itself of the injurious Report it suffered under, by appearing 
 in Print, and with the Protection of a Lady whose Character 
 would be its Vindication, and whose taste of Poetry 
 made her a proper Patroness to things of this Nature, and 
 indeed that Quality is most peculiarly yours. Such an universal 
 Complaisance of Temper I never yet met with in a Person 
 , so capable, of so distinguishing a Genius as your Ladyship 
 , and have often observed with wonder, that a 
 Lady that knows how to relish the noblest things, and 
 has the finest Entertainment in herself, can appear delighted 
 with the most trivial Amusement in condescension to the 
 Capacity of others: 'Tis this, Madam, has made you the 
 Darling of all your Acquaintance, even those who cannot taste 
 your agreeable Wit in your lightest Conversation, and the solid 
 Judgement of your more serious Reflections. 'Tis this has 
 secured you more than others, of a distinguished Merit, from 
 that Malice and Envy which usually pursues the most deserving; 
 and you must permit me, Madam, to insist on this alone of 
 all your shining Virtues; I have reason to value that most 
 to which alone I own the greatest Blessing of my Fate, the 
 share you are pleased to allow me in your Friendship; you, 
 Madam, who are engaged with so much worthier Subjects of 
 it blessed in an Excellent Husband and fine Children, to whom 
 (with all a Mother's Tenderness) by the strictest care in their 
 Education their Infant years are capable of; you fill all your 
 Duty, and have the highest sense of your Happiness in Sir 
 , who is indeed a living Instruction of the 
 Moral in the last Verses of this Comedy; and so well recommends 
 his own Worth by his Respect and Value for you, and 
 (in an Age when Wives are scarce looked on but as the impediments 
 of a Man's Pleasure, or at best a Convenience in the 
 settling his Affairs, without aiming at a Satisfaction in herself 
 ) has found his Felicity, in making yours. Thus possessed 
 of all you can esteem as Solid good, you yet can condescend to 
 let me be a part of your Satisfaction; I boast it Madam, indeed, 
 but without vanity, as my good Fortune only; which though 
 I may blush to think how partially bestowed, is not lesle mine; 
 and I confess myself so interested to rejoice in your Foible, 
 when so Advantageous for me, to wish you may always take 
 for merit in me; the mighty value I have of your Kindness, 
 with the fondness of my Heart for you, in all the possible 
 Respect of  
Madam, 
 Your Ladyships entirely devoted 
 And most humble Servant,   

Dramatis Personae.  


Men.  BEaumine, a Gay Roving Spark. 
Mr. Wilks.  Phillabell in Love with Lucilia. 
Mr. Mills.  Constant contracted to Miranda. 
Mr. Williams.  Grandfoy in Love with Lesbia. 
Mr. Toms.  Cleon a vain affected Fellow. 
Mr. Cibber.  Bonsot a good-natured Officious Fool. 
Mr. Pinkethman.    


Women.  Lesbia contracted to Beaumine. 
Mistress Knight.  Miranda a Gay Coquet 
Mistress Verbruggen.  Lucilia in Love with Phillabell. 
Mistress Oldfield.  Lysetta her Governess. 
Mistress Powell.    
Servants.   

PROLOGUE.  
WHat must be done to make a Play succeed?  
The common Methods are all over tried;  
We want Assurance to expect Applause,  
Or hope a kind full House without some Cause.  
Feign would our Authress please, and please you so,  
That to herself you should the pleasure own;  
We think she's safe by forces of her own,  
And like her Native Isle depends on none;  
Let her be so by well conducted Scenes,  
Nor be secured, entrenched behind Machine's;  
Lesle by a Name from Italy or France,  
By Clinch of Barnet, or the Ladder Dance;  

 Gladly she does disband all Foreign Aid,  
Let Mother Wit defend an English Maid;  
To your own growth for once indulgent prove,  
The Manufacture of this Town is Love;  
Love in great Minds bear's indisputed sway,  
A shapeless Anarchy when that's away;  
The dangerous Paths to Wealth and Fame we tread,  
Assured the toilsome way to Beauty leads;  
Love and bright Beauty are the Hero's care,  
The first learn here, the last view shining there.   

EPILOGUE. 
 Spoken by Lesbia  

WHat certain Hazards do Poor Women run!  
They hear, believe, they taste, and are undone;  
As they to Men their yielding Hearts resign,  
And think to meet such afterclaps as mine.  
Jest therefore, the mistaken Sex should pled  
Custom from me to venture and succeed,  
And without Hymen's leave, too rashly prove  
The Dangers that attend unlawful Love.  
Let those whose Breasts of softer Mould are made,  
And seem more liable to be betrayed,  
From me these Observations rightly take  
That Virtue is esteemed for Virtue's sake,  
And Hands, and Seals, and Oaths cannot secure  
A mind like Man's unfaithful and impure,  
Thou I by chance have gained the wished for Prize,  
And have my Lover fast in lasting Ties.  
When once possessed, we like fine Garments show,  
That last a while, and are fling by for New,  
And though ten thousand LESBIAS may be seen,  
Where is that Man alive would act BEAUMINE?    


ACT I SCENE I  Enter Lucilia and Lysetta Lu. 
DOes the fool think to threaten me into Love? Heart's must be wone a softer way.  Ly. 
Aye Madam, but our Fear often does the Man's Business as well as our Inclinations; more Women have sacrificed their Virtue to Reputation, than ever Love has ruined; and if they can but make us kind, what need they care why we are so?  Lu. 
Cleon seems indeed to be of that Opinion.  Ly. 
Every Man is, that would be master of his Pleasure.  Lu. 
Phillabell has told me a thousand times, he should not think me his, unless my Inclination gave me to him.  Ly. 
Because he finds that his best Friend, if he would refuse you from any other, it does not much recommend his Love.  Lu. 
That's your Notion, but ever since I have begun to know myself, your Maxims are not Oracles with me, you shall not more debauch my Reason.  Ly. 
Why Madam, what false Maxims did I ever give you?  Lu. 
Should you not have warned me of the Deceit and Treachery of Men? Instead of that, what did you entertain me with, but Tales of happy or unhappy Lovers? All to insinuate the violence of Cleon's Passion; How did you represent him to my vanity, adoring, dying for me? I thought it a fine thing to be courted in Rhimes and Ecstasies, though even in that distinguishing Age he never pleased me, which you known; and therefore to move my pity, made my credulous Ignorance believe, that if I would not give him some hopes, he must infallibly die for me; the poor Innocent thought she was obliged in Conscience to save a Man's Life!  Ly. 
Lord! Madam, what ado is here about nothing! Where was the harm of writing a few kind Letters to a Man? Is there ever a Lady in Paris, that has not done more for half a dozen before she can resolve to Mary one? And a Wise Husband would not more Repined at that, than he would that his Clotheses does not come directly to him from the Weavers; all the little Gallantries do but Fashion her for his wearing.  Lu. 
Phillabell love's too nicely, not to grudge the lest kind Thought for any other Man, and should this Cleon expose your Letters (for so I must call 'em, since I was but the Scribe of what you dictated) I'm utterly undone, my Reputation ruined; and what is worse, Phillabell lost for ever.  Ly. 
That would be a base balk to a Young Lady, just upon the point of yielding to her Wishes; to morrow is to be the happy Day.  Lu. 
Was to be, but Cleon's resolute to hinder it; Can you invent a way to Countermine him? You have been cunning to undo me, employ your Art for once to save me.  Ly. 
Madam, whatever the Event has been, my aim was never to undo, but serve you; if I had known that you could never have loved Cleon, or foreseen your passion for Phillabell, I had not engaged you so far; but since 'tis past recalling, we should only think of preventing future Mischiefs; but all my Counsels will be suspected.  Lu. 
Indeed I believe you wish me well, prithee Advice me.  Ly. 
You must by not means undeceive Cleon till you are Married; persuade him that you love him still, and only Mary Phillabell in Obedience to your Father; give him some hopes of making him Happy afterwards.  Lu. 
Well, and what will this do?  Ly. 
Do? Is there any Man that would not rather have another Man's Wife than make her his own? 'Twill do all that you would have it, make him as eager for the Match as you are yourself; instead of preventing it, as his Letter threatens.  Lu. 
But can I endure he should imagine I would wrong Phillabell so basely?  Ly. 
What are you the worse for his Imaginations? Besides, you can easily dispossess him of 'em, when you have once secured your Husband.  Lu. 
Methinks 'tis so dishonourable a Deceit I can't relish it.  Ly. 
Nay if you scruple the Cheat, you may keep your word with him.  Lu. 
Prithee be Serious.  Ly. 
Well Madam, this is certain, unless you give him hopes false or true, he will not fail to expose all your Letters to Phillabell; I need not make you apprehended the Consequence.  Lu. 
'Tis such a fatal one, I would not at any rate prevent it; but you know he's not allowed to visit me, 'tis impossible for me to see him to day in private, and to writ a Letter after the manner proposed, you would be putting it more in his power to Ruin me, than I have ever done before.  Ly. 
Aye, but at the same time you give him the Power, you show him that 'tis against his own Interest to use it; and when you are once believed (which his Vanity will help you in) and have gained a little time, twenty wiles may be thought of to get the Letters out of his Hands.  Lu. 
My Case is desperate, and therefore the Remedy must be so; once more I will be governed by you, he sends me word he shall be in the Walks this Evening, you shall carry the Letter thither to him.  Enter Lesbia. Les. 
'Tis seasonable to wish you Joy to day, Lucilia; tomorrow Phillabell will give it you, and than my Wishes would be needless.  Lu. 
He is indeed a Man to make a Woman happy.  Les. 
Ha', ha', ha', are you practising the decent Gravities of a Bride against to morrow? Prithee, away with that sullen Look, or I shall think you are angry with this impertinent Day for stepping between you and the Wedding one.  Lu. 
You are not so much in hast I find; but my Dear, what if you should Mary Beaumine to morrow, 'twould be friendly to keep me in Countenance.  Les. 
Not, not, I won't lose the Pleasure of making Observations upon you.  Lu. 
But tell me seriously why you delay your Marriage so long.  Les. 
Phough, I came to divert myself with talking of your Wedding, and you would make me dull with the Thoughts of my own.  Lu. 
Believe me Lesbia, if I did not love you, I would not urge you farther; but I an vexed to hear some malicious Reflections that are whispered of you, and must ask you why you give the Occasion.  Les. 
Some fit time I'll tell you.  Lu. 
Lysetta, we would be private.— Now be free with me. (Ex. Lys.  Les. 
Well, if I must lay aside my Mirth a while to tell you a sad Tale.— You have often herded me speak of one Grandfoy, whom I loved before I known Beaumine.  Lu. 
You have told me he was false.  Les. 
I thought him so, but he has since convinced me that I wronged him, though my Suspicions were, you know, well grounded; he's still the Man which he appeared at first, all Truth and Goodness, and love's me more than I can now deserve.  Lu. 
I shall think you deserve a great deal of him, and if you decline so Considerable a Match as Beaumine for his sake.  Les. 
When you know my Story, I fear you'll say he aught to despise me.  Lu. 
That's impossible, but pray my dear go on.  Les. 
Just in the height of my Resentment against Grandfoy, Beaumine first see, and loved me, he addressed to my Mother, who easily gave her Consent, his Fortune being very Considerable; to be short, her Commands were Sacred to me, and I believed it would be some Revenge upon Grandfoy, which was the Chief motive of my resolving to Marry Beaumine; he proposed to have it secret whilst his Mother lived, because she designed him for another; not Priest would Mary us without her Consent, he told me than it was the tie of Hearts that made a Marriage; but fearing mine should Change, to make me sure, he written a Contract, which we both signed with our Blood; and to confirm it, he led me to the Holy Altar, where he Vowed to take me for his Wife— I don't know how to tell you the rest.  Lu. 
You even taken him for a Husband, Is it not so?  Les. 
He often importuned me to live with him as such, and at my refusal, lost all the natural Gaiety of his Temper, and much avoided seeing me; my Mother dying, he came to condole with me, I see myself unguarded, and willing to Engage him in my Interests; I flattered him with all the artful Tenderness I could affect, this made him press me more eagerly than ever; agreeable as he is, I never loved him much, and yet I don't know how he found the yielding Minute, betwixt you and I, Lucilia: Is not there one of which we are not Master?  Lu. 
I will believe so for your sake, though I think it would be always in my Power to refuse a Man any thing that is not fit for him to ask: But how did Beaumine behave himself afterwards?  Les. 
Very Fond at first, but now grows Careless, and sometimes Insolent; still he let me hope that he would Mary me after his Mother's Death, which satisfied till Grandfoy assured me she died just after mine, though he Conceals it from me.  Lu. 
That does not look as if he meant you fairly, but your Contract will oblige him to do you Justice.  Les. 
If it could, I would not Mary him against his Inclination.  Lu. 
What do you resolve on than?  Les. 
I must first know certainly what he intends.  Lu. 
His Intentions seem so indifferent to you, that I must believe yours are more for Grandfoy.  Les. 
Indeed he shows so generous an Affection for me, it Claims all my Gratitude, and since I find my suspicions of him were unjust; Did not my Honour Oppose it? I confess I could love him more than ever.  Lu. 
Does he know of your Affair with Beaumine?  Les. 
He does, and made me promise, that if upon the Trial I found Beaumine unfaithful, I would be governed by him; to confirm my word I gave him a Ring, which was Beaumine's first Gift to me; you have seen me wear it.  Lu. 
Did not Beaumine miss it?  Les. 
I told him I had lost it, which he easily believed, not having ever herded that I loved another, and I have taken care as far as Art would go, to persuade him that I love him, for that I thought both my Interest and Duty.  Lu. 
I wish you may not find yourself abused; the World is much mistaken in him, if he has any Thoughts of Marriage, but to rail, or make his Jest of it.  Lys. 
A Man of this Age must not more speak well of it, than of Religion, and yet perhaps there's as few Marriage haters as Atheists.  Lu. 
What than can put the Men upon professing it? One would think it can be neither much for their Honour or Interest.  Les. 
At first to gain the Reputation of Wit, by affecting a singularity in their Notions; and since that by Imitation, or Humour, they are become the common Topics of Raillery, many take up with it for want of Resolution to bear with their being the Ridicule of their Companions.  Lu. 
And is this your Opinion of Beaumine?  Les. 
I believe there's more Humour and Affectation, than any serious Reflection in it; and have lesle reason to fear his love of Liberty, than some other Chains.  Lu. 
Why are you Jealous of him?  Les. 
Only of his rambling Temper, he takes care to give me not particular aim.  Lu. 
He seems indeed to make love to every Woman, and mean it to none.  Les. 
Miranda and he were mightily pleased with one another tother day, she happened to come in when he was with me; she gave him leave to visit her, and talks of him perpetually ever since; he does not seem to think much of her, or I should apprehended her a dangerous Rival, she's so much of his own Humour.  Lu. 
But she's engaged to another too.  Les. 
Aye, and says she love's him.  Lu. 
'Tis strange she should, there can't be two more opposite Tempers than Constant's and hers.  Les. 
And what pleasure she takes in Teazing and Tormenting his Gravity.  Lu. 
And in pleasing every Man else.  Les. 
Well, Coquet as she is, I should not be pleased to have Beaumine pursue the Acquaintance.  Lu. 
Than he has not made her a Visit yet.  Les. 
He does not own it to me.  Lu. 
I shall see her to day, and if I hear any thing of him, you shall be sure to know it; for if he is not sincere, the sooner you are undeceived, the better.— My dear, Will you go to my Closet with me? I have a Letter to writ in haste, 'twill be quickly done, you'llexcuse me for a Minute.  Les. 
I expect to see Grandfoy immediately, and must take my leave of you.  Lu. 
May all you undertake succeed to your own Wishes.  Les. 
I scarce know what I wish, only all happiness to you.  Ex. severally,  

SCENE changes to Phillabell's Lodgings.  Enter Beaumine and a Servant. Beau. 
Is your Master busy?  Serve 
He'll be a 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 to see you, Sir, I an sure.  Beau. 
Tell him I'm 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 this poor Fellow, Ex. Seru. he might have been a fit Companion for us Men of Spirit and Pleasure, but for this damned dull Matrimony.  Enter Phillabell. Ph. 
Beaumine! What sudden dearth of Wine, or kind Women, has reduced thee to thinking?  Beau. 
Only a sense of my Friend's Misfortune, I came to condole with you; Faith Phillabell, I an hearty sorry for thee.  Ph. 
For me! Why, what's the matter? I know not cause you have, I was never so satisfied, so easy, so full of Joy, as in this minute.  Beau. 
Why is your Marriage broken of?  Ph. 
Broken! Heaven forbidden! You would have reason to condole with me than indeed.  Beau. 
And are you certainly to be married to morrow?  Ph. 
I hope so.  Beau. 
Strange! but he's mad poor Man.  Ph. 
Why, Did you hear any thing to the contrary?  Beau. 
Not, and therefore an amazed to hear such agreeable Words, as satisfied, easy, full of Joy, out of the Mouth of a condemned Man, if thou art in thy Senses.  Ph. 
O a Satyr upon Marriage, Is that your Intent.  Beau. 
Faith, I would willingly reclaim thee, if thou art not too far go, to hear Reason.  Ph. 
I could never find any reason why a Man should be uneasy in the Possession of a Woman that he love's, only because he enjoys her without breaking Human or divine Laws.  Beau. 
What are Laws but Chains to our Wills, our Inclinations? Destroyer's of Liberty, the dear Prerogative of Nature.  Ph. 
But Libertinism is not a Privilege to be very fond of, and that's all we are denied.  Beau. 
'Tis better to be lost with Pleasure, than preserved in Pain.  Ph. 
The pain of being always my Lucilia's, won't much employ my Philosophy to support it.  Beau. 
And are you sure you will be always of this Mind? Do you imagine she will be always young, always handsome, and that you shall always love her?  Ph. 
I an sure she will always have Wit, good Humour and Virtue, and by consequence, that I shall always love her.  Beau. 
But what if all that you call good Humour should prove Affectation nothing else, and Virtue, but the Art of well dissembling?  Ph. 
To dissemble well is virtue, or what we can't distinguish from it.  Beau. 
Aye, aye, but the Disguise is always laid aside, when there's not farther need of it; when you are entered into Bonds,'ttwoned be worth her Pains; the fear of losing a Lover, only can make 'em careful to please; if you but see the fond endearing, Lesbia, what Arts she uses to engage me, how well she thinks 'em all returned by one kind Word or Look; and than the tender Niceness of her Passion; she lost a Ring the other day which I had given her, never was any thing so moving as her Complaints; I told her she should have one twice the Value, but that would not appease her, she said 'twas the first Present I had made her, and she feared the Loss, a sad Presage that she should lose my heart; nothing could comfort her but my repeated Vows of never changing; Are there such tender Sentiments in Marriage? You'll find a cold Civility the best part of their Entertainment, after a Month's Enjoyment.  Ph. 
I should expect not better, if I had choose an unthinking Coquet, or one whose broken Fortune might make her snatch at the first hope of repairing it; but Lucilia is reserved and prudent, her Fortune equals mine; she has refused many considerable Matches, and I have reason to think myself the only Man that has found the way to her Heart; I know she hate's Cleon, and treats with Scorn or Coldness, the rest that languish for her; In fine, I have all the Security for a lasting Love and Happiness, that Reason can desire or give.  Beau. 
Lasting! Why, thou hast named the very Bane of Love and Happiness, what, that's old can Charm to Ecstasy? Or not be dull with being often repeated?  Ph. 
And what that's new can be relied upon? Or how can you enjoy a Happiness, that you are always in danger of losing?  Beau. 
Relied on, OH most firmly Phill, (Sings) They still are constant whilst possessed, and can do more for not man.—— And faith, fickle as they are, they must be plaguy quick to make me complain of losing them; but if any of 'em should run out of my Arms, to another's, (for than she is sure to have the Start of me) I have always One in hand that supply's the Vacancy.  Ph. 
Nay that's the way indeed not to be much grieved at their Loss; for betwixt two, you can't be very fond of either.  Beau. 
You're mistaken man, it makes me very fond of both; if they known Nature, a Woman would never fear losing a Man so much as when the Coyness or Jealousy of one, has vexed him, he flies to another that with Kindness restores his good Humour; and when her over-fondness has cloyed him, he returns to the first for fresh Appetite; for by one of these Extremes, the Woman always lose us, they are either so capricious, they grow troublesome, or so tender, they grow dull; but tempered thus, they give the Relish to each other.  Ph. 
If you could convince the Women of this Doctrine, you might both have your Ends by it; but whilst they are of another Opinion, whatever Advantage it may be to them, you'll hardly find your Account in it; He that pursues two Hares, will catch neither.  Beau. 
Still he has the greater Pleasure in the Chase, to observe their different Cross, Wind, and little Arts; sometimes their very Fear, you know, makes 'em run full into the Hound's mouth; but if you do not give over too soon, there's none of 'em but may be wearied out, than seize the panting Quarry, and she's yours.  Ph. 
Well, give me the Woman that resigns herself upon Deliberation and solid Reason, that as it makes the gift more valuable, so more secure.  Beau. 
That is, more insipid.  Ph. 
There's not disputing Tastes, the very Trouble of continual fresh pursuits, would make Variety disgustful to me.  Beau. 
Which gives me the highest Relish; but I need not endeavour to convince thee, thy Wife will do it effectually, since thou art resolved to purchase Wisdom at the dearest rate, experience; What a lamentable Figure thou'lt make, preaching it to others, as a Fellow at the Gallows does Honesty, when 'tis too late to make use of it himself.—— But I'll leave you to prepare for your solid Blessing. Will you meet me in the Walk this Evening?  Ph. 
If I have nothing else to do, perhaps I may.  Beau. 
I Gad, I beg thy Pardon, I forget thou'rt a Man of Business. Honest Matrimony. Adieu.  Ph. 
Well, well, laugh on, I an contented you should have your Jest, so I secure my Happiness,  
With a chaste Wife, like my Lucilia, true.  Beau. 
I, with a Mistress, ever Gay and New.  (Exeunt severally.   


ACT the 2d. SCENE Lesbia's Lodgings.  Enter Lesbia and Grandfoy. Gr. 
I would not appear in your defence, till you have tried Beaumine to the utmost, that he may have not pretence against you.  Les. 
I never gave him any yet, nor can he find an Excuse now for deferring our Marriage, since the only Obstacle he pretended, is removed by his Mother's Death.  Gr. 
But I advice you not to take notice of your knowing it, nor show any distrust of him, if he has the lest Honour, the Confidence you seem to have in him, will be a stranger Engagement.  Les. 
But should he still refuse me?  Gr. 
You promise' than to be disposed by me; I wear the Pledge of your Fidelity.  Les. 
Won't it be a bold Venture to put myself in the power of a Man I have injured?  Gr. 
Unless in your unjust Suspicions of me, you only have been injured, your Misfortune with Beaumine has a thousand Excuses on your part, as unhappy as it makes me; OH Lesbia, that I should ever think it reasonable to wish you another's! To force a Man to deprive me of all I value!  Les. 
'Tis scarce reasonable indeed to value me now so much, as to care whose I an.  Gr. 
I have such an Opinion of your Sincerity and Virtue, that even now, would you consent to be mine, I should receive you as the greatest earthly Blessing, but that you have refused me, unless Beaumine, by a declared infidelity, entirely release you.  Les. 
Imagine with what difficulty I do it, whilst I receive such Proofs of Love from you, whom I have had too much Kindness for, ever to be indifferent to, or equally to value any other.  Gr. 
Curse on that Fate that forced me from you so abruptly, to make me lose that Kindness, by seeming false, than, when I loved you most, and ever must, though now your Heart's another's.  Les. 
I fear Grandfoy, you are still but too dear to it.  Gr. 
Yet you refuse the Offer I have made to marry you.  Les. 
'Tis the only Return I can make to so generous an Offer; if my own Honour did not oblige me to it, I own it to your Love and good Opinion, for 'tis the only way I can deserve 'em.  Gr. 
How little does Beaumine deserve this Treasure that values it so lightly! I must approve the Virtue that undoes me; and to preserve it as free from Suspicion, as it is of Gild, I'll leave you, since you expect Beaumine, for your sake I would not have him know me, unless he force me to revenge your Wrongs.  Les. 
You are in all things Noble.  Gr. 
If you are for the Walks this Evening, I shall see you again; Cleon sent this Morning to desire I would meet him there, he has something to ask my Advice in, I suppose some Love Adventure, for that's his only Business.  Les. 
His only Discourse indeed, but the great Talkers of Intriqus, as of Religion, have usually the lest of either; and indeed whatever a Man studiously affects to seem, 'tis a shrewd Sign he's conscious of not being it in reality.  Gr. 
But the reality of Intriqus are general private, and only to be known by talking of 'em, which, believe me, is the Chief Part of the Pleasure to many of our Sex.  Les. 
I fancy only to those that are allowed not other Part, but they who are truly well received among us, if not in Gratitude to those who have obliged 'em, will be cautious to secure their Designs upon others; Love is not to be raised like Valour, by Emulation.  Gr. 
I don't know what it may do towards kindling a Flame, but I an sure 'twill increase it; many a Woman from a little liking to a Man, has become passionately in love, only upon finding another was pleased with him.  Les. 
Than she must know it by her Rival's Indiscretion, and not his Vanity, for that only shows his Weakness, but the other the force of his Merit; but indeed, if Cleon should rely upon that, his Mistress would scarce find any Occasion of Jealousy; his Vanity appears too grossly, the good natured Fool his Brother, is the more supportable.  Gr. 
Poor Bonsot, he always means well; but unluckily makes more mischief by officiously endeavouring to prevent it, and pretending to know every body's Business.  Les. 
Than his Bulls are diverting enough, they fall so naturally from him.  Gr. 
As near Relations, I must bear with; and would hid their follies. But we shall forget ourselves, till we give Beaumine occasion of Jealousy, which, though sometimes our Sex find their Ends in, 'tis always a dangerous Expedient for yours, for what you gain in Inclination, you lose in our Esteem. 

Fear of a Rival will inflame Desire;  
But the Distrust of her soon quench the Fire.    Les. 
That way leads to the back door, you'll be secure from meeting him.—— Few men would use as Grandfoy does such a Confidence as I have had in him; but sure never any (Exit Grandfoy Woman made the Experiment before me; if the Lover can but be kept ignorant, not matter what he discover, when secured a Husband; I must own those Women have more Courage than I; Cheating in all other Cases, may be only playing the Knave; but any Deceit in Marriage must be egregiously playing the Fool, when the very Injury we do, gives the Power of revenging it.  Enter Beaumine. Beau. 
Aye, at home, you're as sure of finding an old Mistress, as a Creditor that expects you to pay him an old Debt, in good Humour too, I warrant; I was afraid, Madam, you had not been come home yet.  Les. 
How could you imagine that, when I had hopes of seeing you?  Beau. 
Aye, I thought so; well, this is the Dev'l; Faith, Lesbia, I do what I can to be very fond of you; but if you will take pains to hinder it, I cannot help it.  Les. 
I don't know that I have done any thing to displease you.  Beau. 
Why, there's it, you should do something to displease me, Love is an active, restless fire, That without Agitation, must expire.  Les. 
I thought a constant Fuel of lasting Worth and Kindness, would preserve it.  Beau. 
It may keep it in, but 'twill burn very dimly without blowing, Lesbia.  Les. 
I wish I known the Art of doing it.  Beau. 
Why you should go abroad, when you're sure I shall come to see you; look angry or cold upon me, without telling me why, when I would caress you; and when I expect you should be fond of me, make me suspect you are thinking of another; in short, vex, perplex and disquiet me, that supplying me always with something to employ my Thoughts on, they may have not leisure to wander.  Les. 
I rather take Care by the regularity of my Conduct, to show you what you may always expect from me; for though these Arts may be agreeable in a Mistress, you would scarce be pleased with 'em in a Wife.  Beau. 
Nay, thou hast thought of a way now to put a Man out of his Humour, with a vengeance, but the worst Contrivance to raise an Appetite you could have found out; you have all of a Wife, but the Name, the want of that flatters me with an imagined Liberty, and you must bring it in, to spoil a Man's Fancy.  Les. 
I like your Raillery, Beaumine, since I don't doubt but your serious Thoughts are to make me that in earnest, which the Name of, serves you for a Jest.  Beau. 
Aye, aye, there will be a time for serious Thoughts, Respect and Reverence, which Wives should have, and that you know, is paid to Antiquity, Lesbia; but Love and Raptures, for the young and free.  Les. 
Thus, I can never be satisfied, or angry with this Man; Is it impossible for you ever to answer seriously and directly, Beaumine?  Beau. 
Why truly, if you would have my Thoughts, I would counsel you against the most unaccountable Extravagance, you are designing.  Les. 
What's that?  Beau. 
You have now a great deal of my Love, 'tis certain Marriage won't add one Jot to it, and very possible it may extremely lessen it; Now would any one in their Senses, that were in Possession of a good Estate, without any prospect of bettering it, put it to the Chance of a die, whether they should keep it or lose it? I an thy own, and keep me as thou hast me (Sings) Thus ever Frolic, ever gay.  Les. 
Thou art the most agreeable, tormenting Devil;—— But prithee, tell me, what I an to expect.  Beau. 
Expect—— Why, that the old Woman will die, and that——  Les. 
But will the old Woman ever die, Beaumine?  Beau. 
Humph! pugh, what's Age and Death to us, my Love? They are melancholy Thoughts;  Life, and Youth, and Liberty, my Lesbia, (Sings) And live a thousand years a day.  Les. 
Thus may this gay Humour fool me on for ever, I must try him farther.—— Well, thou art the madest Fellow, sure there is not your Peer in France, unless Miranda, 'tis pity Fate has not joined you; What did you think of her?  Beau. 
I thought very well of her whilst I see her, but have not thought at all of her since; she's a very Coquet, pleased with every man, and pleases all whilst with 'em; but not sooner out of sight, than she forgets, and is as easily forgot.  Les. 
She has not forgot you so soon, I assure you; but have not you refreshed her Memory?  Beau. 
Not I, upon Honour.  Les. 
I'm glad of it.  Beau. 
Why? You would not have been Jealous.  Les. 
Not, but I think 'twill be better you should not visit her at all, for I know she likes you.  Beau. 
Not visit her because she likes me! Now hung me, if I can find that out to be a good Reason.  Les. 
It might be dangerous to fan a Fire, that's yet but kindled.  Beau. 
Nay, I have not Design to see her; but what Whim of yours is this? She likes any thing for her Diversion.  Les. 
But talks of you in Heroics.  Beau. 
A new Humour.  Les. 
And is very importunate to know, if there's any Amour betwixt you and me.  Beau. 
Curiosity, I hope, did not satisfy her.  Les. 
She seemed so much concerned, I could not deny her positively; but betwixt Raillery and Earnest, left her in doubt, which made her so uneasy, she said, she would soon see me again, and hoped I would be more sincere with her.  Beau. 
By not means, I charge you, Women of her Humour are always prying into the Intriqus of their Companions, by gaining their Confidence, or raising their Jealousy, to make 'em the Jest of the next Company; never trust any of your own Sex, especially such a giddy Thing as Miranda.  Les. 
Since you desire it, you may be sure I'll be cautious, though I know she was serious.  Beau. 
I suppose you can't think you have any reason to fear her.  Les. 
If I had disinherited you, I would not have told you of such an agreeable Rival; and I expect in return of the Confidence I have in you, you should avoid a Woman, that I believe love's you.  Beau. 
I Gad, a very nice piece of Honour, I must have not mind to a handsome Woman, because you have let me know she has a mind to me; Well, as far as Flesh and Blood can reach it, I'll act this Romantic lover.  Les. 
Than you won't visit Miranda.  Beau. 
Not, since you would not have me, not that I think there's any danger in it, but I'm very indifferent in the Matter; if she hap to fall in my way, and Mischief should ensue,—— remember you were my Tempter.  Les. 
I dare trust you.  Beau. 
Well than, to put my Virtue to the Proof. (Going.  Les. 
Where are you going?  Beau. 
To Miranda.  Les. 
Pshaw, you're always fooling, but I have Business.  Beau. 
So have I, but what's yours about?  Les. 
Our Marriage.  Beau. 
And mine is Love, I cannot think of two Things at once, so directly opposite, so first for that of greatest Moment. (Going.  Les. 
But will you tell me——  Beau. 
How Miranda receives me; what Favours she refuses, what she grants, All, all.  Les. 
But Beaumine.  Beau. 
But Miranda.  Les. 
Pugh, that's a Jest.  Beau. 
Than you don't believe I'm going to her.  Les. 
Not, I'm sure you won't.  Beau. 
Now the De--l take her for not being Jealous, that I might have a right to deceive her, for I'm afraid I cannot forbear; but 'tis not matter, there's not truth in these Cases; and since 

We all are false alike in love, 'tis clear,  
He that dissembles best, is most sincere.   (Exit Beau.  Les. 
Thou Magotty, barbarous, good humoured, ill natured Toad; he is go as fleet as Winds, but I as fast shall fly, 

Since, whilst a stolen, tried lover I pursue,  
If he escape me, I secure a new.   (Exit aft. Beau.   

SCENE changes to Miranda's Lodgings.  Enter Lucilia and Miranda. Lu. 
Nay I protest you're to blame, Miranda, to use a Man thus, that dotes upon you.  Mir. 
If he does not like the Humour, what makes him dote on me? We're both pleased with one another, only have different ways of showing it; he's fond of my Gaiety, I laugh at his Gravity; he whines, I sing; he takes care to show his Fidelity, I to make him jealous; that's his way, this is mine, we take several Roads, but I fear both lead to the same dreadful End, we shall even meet at last in Matrimony, though I an for going the farthest way about.  Lu. 
Since you are resolved to go through the Journey, 'tis the wisest way to make it as short as possible, for fear you should spend too much of your Stock of Love, or be robbed of it by another upon the Road, and not have enough to subsist on when your Travels are over.  Mir. 
I'm not so extravagant in my Expenses of it, and for Robbers, there's more danger of them in our place of Rest; for though Matrimony is too strong an Edifice to be demolished, its Guards and Enclosures are weak and easily broken through, and Love is a Treasure not to be confined, it flips like Water from the hand that would restrain it; if you would secure it, leave it lose and free.  Lu. 
But 'tis impossible you can love Constant, and not have a Mind to marry him.  Mir. 
Indeed I don't love him so well, but that I had rather torment him, than he should torment me, rather have variety of Diversions lie heavy upon my hands, than the Affairs of my Family, I like the Squeaking of a Fiddle, better than the Squalling of Brats, and an obsequious humble Servant, better than a surly Lord and Master.  Lu. 
I fancy 'tis some other humble Servant you like better; this Beaumine you were talking of, runs mightily in your Head.  Mir. 
In my Head! in my Heart, in my Sleep, I dream of him, sigh for him, die for him; OH 'tis the easiest, gayest, wildest, most engaging, every thing that suits my Humour; I long for him again, if he likes me well enough to visit me, I shall grow so fond of him.  Lu. 
Why, you can't love 'em both.  Mir. 
I'll swear, I do extremely, I love Constant best at a distance, Beaumine when he's with me, to think of one, laugh with tother, he diverts me, tother improves me; one will make the better Husband, tother the more agreeable Gallant.  Lu. 
Well, wildly as you talk, I don't doubt but you'll make a very good Wife.  Mir. 
I don't doubt but he'll make me so, take a full Revenge of my Tyranny when he has got the Power in his hands, therefore I resolve to reign as long as I can. But here come my Sovereign Elect; I thought, Sir, you had Business with my Uncle, (Ent. and therefore left you without hopes of this Happiness so soon.  Con. 
I thought, Madam, you had Business, that you run from me so abruptly, when I was talking to you of what concerns me nearest; but it seems 'twas only to be rid of me; I'm sorry my Company is so displeasing.  Mir. 
'Tis a strange Lover that won't give his Mistress leave to think of him; I came but to sigh for you in secret.  Con. 
Sigh in secret, when we may smile together; OH Miranda, sure you but abuse my doting Heart, and make my love your Sport.  Mir. 
Why, what's Love, or any thing else good for, unless to divert us?  Con. 
I might have thought indeed, your sprightly Temper could not long brook my heavy, sullen Nature, but tell me freely I an troublesome; and as I never asked your Uncle his Consent, till you permitted me, so will I not now use his Authority, but leave you free, to choose a Humour that may suit you better.  Mi. 
Don't disturb yourself about that, I shall quickly be as sullen as you, when we're married, not doubt.  Con. 
That would but hinder our Resemblance than, for sure that happy day that calls you mine will quite dissolve the earthly part of me, refine this Mass, and make me Spirit all.  Mir. 
Leave you the Ghost of your departed Love. 

And me to mourn in Tears my wretched Fate.  
That yours expired too soon, mine lived too late.   There's Rapture for your Rapture, Canstant.  Con. 
Well dear Tormentor, don't weary out my love than ever, you use it, but cherish it whilst young and vigorous, and it will be immortal.  Mir. 
Than I must keep it in its Native Air, for they say Marriage is a very Cold Climate.  Lu. 
I believe indeed it kills the hottest hasty Plants, but preserves and often produces such solid Fruits are most fit for constant Nourishment, and bear's Sweets of its own growth too, Miranda.  Mi. 
Well, seriously Lucilia, I have been trying this Month to compose my Face for the Wedding day; for I fancy if one has not a most Reverend Countenance, one will never be thought in earnest at so unreasonable a thing, as taking for better, for worse; it looks so like a Jest or stark Madness.  Con. 
Keep your mad Countenance than, and do it in Jest.  Mi. 
Aye, but that surly one of yours, Constant, has such a Husbandly Air, 'twill spoil the Jest; I never look upon it but I'm afraid I'm married already.  Con. 
I'll endeavour to put on a more agreeable one; turn, any thing to please you.  Mi. 
Than 'tis resolved we will be Kings not more.  Con. 
OH when my Life? My Joy, now I an Gay as thou art.  Mi. 
Nay that has undone all again, those laughing Eyes bring to my Thoughts that Charming Fellow, that Danced and Sung himself into my Heart; I must have some time to drive him out again, and than Constant.——  Con. 
Who? What is''t you talk of?  Mi. 
OH such a Grace, such an Air, such a Humour; if you known him you must be fond of him for love of me, he's just my Counterpart.  Con. 
I know she rally's, yet it tortures me.  Mi. 
What in the dumps! Nay don't be Jealous.  Con. 
Not, not, but 'tis intolerable Cruelty, to make sport of what my Life depends on.  Mi. 
'Tis in Concern for your Life I would delay this Marriage, for if in the height of my Passion the tempter should come in my way, he makes an Attack, Duty opposes, Inclination assists him, Prohibition Strengthens it, Nature prevails, runs away with me, you pursue and cut his Throat, I break my Heart; you can do not lesle than Stab yourself to complete the Tragedy, and prevent all this Mischief.——  Con. 
We'll take care to avoid the Tempter.  Mi. 
That can't be done without having him always in my Thoughts; not, not, Constant, you have a better way of Curing a Woman's Love, being perpetually with her; and since you have found it so effectual an Experiment, I'm resolved to try it upon my new Inclination, till he has said all the fine things he can, showed all his Humours, played over all his Tricks, left nothing farther for Imagination to work on; but grown as dull to me as a Book I have just read.  Con. 
Or as I an to you now;  Mi. 
Than you'll be new again, like one that has been long out of Print, and I an always fond of the Second Edition, Revised, Corrected and Amended; but be sure you take care never to let me peruse it through, reserve something for my Curiosity, Constant; for you know the best Books when we have studied 'em perfectly, are thrown aside, or only kept for Show, and any trifling Novel that we never met with before, entertains us better.  Con. 
Thou art never to be thoroughly known, the more I study Thee, the more I an perplexed; find something clear enough to engage my search, but still too doubtful to determine on; Would you provoke me first to break a Contract you Repent? Or is''t to try my Constancy, you thus Torment me? Are you not satisfied? What Fool but I could have endured so much? But, Madam, I'm not made to bear for ever.  Mir. 
What, is it' nangry now? And what would it do? Can it break its Cage? Flutter about, tyre itself, and hurt its Wings; and to what purpose?  Con. 
I an thy Slave, Miranda, but 'tis the more ungenerous to use a Creature in thy Power so inhumanly; I dote upon thee, dote on that very Humour that distracts me, be serious once to free me from the fear of losing thee, and ever after I would have thee Gay, as Nature formed thee.  Mir. 
For ever after I an sure, be dull enough, and therefore now indulge my natural Gaiety; but let me see what time of the Moon is it, about the Full, I may be disposed.  Con. 
Still in Raillery, I beg thee, I conjure thee.  Mir. 
Well, I an good Natured, and since you are so impatient——  Con. 
OH speak.  Mir. 
I an resolved——  Con. 
When, when, my Charmer?  Mir. 
As soon as possible to engage my Charmer, grow weary of him as fast as I can, return to you with new Pleasure, than here's my hand on't.  Con. 
OH torture, torture, 'tis too much, Miranda, you may find, fond of my Prison as I an, I'm not so strongly chained as you imagine.  Mir. 
Alas, and will you leave me?  Con. 
Well, Madam, you shall not more insult. Ex. Con.  Mir. 
Not these two hours I'll engage.  Lu. 
Nay he can never return after this.  Mir. 
Only half a dozen times a day, he makes and breaks these Noble Resolutions.  Lu. 
I'm sure you deserve to lose his Love, and for my part, I'm amazed, it has subsisted so long with such ill usage.  Mir. 
O! the Man's love is not so easily Starved as Surfeited; 'twill live upon the lightest airy hope, though soon destroyed with fondness, we lose Lovers by over care, than neglect, Lucilia.  Lu. 
You would make 'em very ungenerous Creatures, but I believe Gratitude, is as strong a tie to them, as to us.  Mir. 
Just as strong indeed, and if you would speak your Heart as freely as I do, you would own we take most pains to appear agreeable to a new Acquaintance; put on our best Looks, show all our Wit, all our good Humour, every thing that may engage, whilst a Lover we have well enough secured not to fear losing, is received and entertained as negligently, as a Cousin German.  Lu. 
On the contrary, if I would use any Arts, it should be to please a Man, who by prooffs of a lasting Affection had engaged mine, and I could never think it returned with sufficient Tenderness.  Mir. 
Think, but I speak of what we do without thinking, the natural Effect of such a Composition as Mankind are of, Vanity is Inconstancy.  (En. Beau. Lu. 
Of which behold the very Abstract! Lesbia must know this. (Aside.  Mir. 
This wild Creature here! And who the deuce expected him.  Lu. 
There was not need of Expectation to make the Blessing dear.  Mir. 
Psha, because I jested; Would he were hanged for coming.  Lu. 
Nay, now I shall believe you love him in Earnest.  Mir. 
I'll swear, so shall I too, I was never so confounded in my Life. (Apart. Love him—— Aye, I love him well enough—— any where else—— but methinks here—— I don't know—— I wish he had not come.  Lu. 
Well, I'll leave you, for I believe he wishes' so too, finding me here.  Beau. 
A very odd Reception, maybe, she does not know me again; but I'm sure, Lucilia does, and this goes to Lesbia immediately; but not matter; I know how to make Peace with her, when I have settled my new Conquest.  Mir. 
Wish she had not seen him here, What can that mean? Is she my Rival too? (Apart.  Beau. 
I fear I an unwelcome, Madam, though I had not ventured without your Permission.  Mir. 
Pardon me, Sir, I was persuading the Lady to stay, the more to oblige you in return of this Favour.  Beau. 
The Lady known better how to oblige me.  Mir. 
I don't doubt but she knows much better how to please you.  Beau. 
She has only put me in the way of being pleased, but that depends upon the fair Miranda; which if she design, she need only be herself again; indeed that Gravity is not more becoming, than natural to you.  Mir. 
why d'ye think I affect it?  Beau. 
That I can't tell, whether you are displeased with seeing me, or mightily pleased, and have not mind to show it, those Eyes must better inform me.  Mir. 
Whatever they say, I find you can make a favourable Interpretation of it.  Beau. 
I confess, Madam, I love to be easy, and to give every thing the most Advantageous sense it will bear, if it bened the way to Truth, I an sure it is to Happiness.  Mir. 
Giving yourself false hopes, is the sure way to meet with Disappointments.  Beau. 
Not at all, Vanity gives a Man Confidence, and that's successful with the Fair as well as the Great.  Mir. 
Why, do you believe any Woman ever loved a Man because he had the Vanity to fancy she did?  Beau. 
At lest it gives him a Chance for being beloved, which he can never have without the Courage to Attempt; for Example, Madam, had I modestly said to myself, Beaumine, thou'rt a very disagreeable Fellow Miranda can never like thee, 'tis in vain to hope it; I had certainly not come near you, you had thought of me not more, or had lost the Advantage of your thoughts, however favourable.  Mir. 
And you have the impudence to tell me, you believe I shall like you.  Beau. 
And does not every Man that tells you he likes you, mean the same thing? But I beg your pardon, Madam, I confess 'twas very indecent, so unmodish a thing as speaking Truth to a Lady.  Mir. 
Which is so far from offending me, you could not have obliged me more, than by telling me your thoughts, to give me the pleasure of disappointing you; and to show you how vain, how mistaken you are, how little an Opinion I have of you; I must tell you when you came in, I was thinking you the most fickle, inconstant, falsest thing in Nature.  Beau. 
Now cannot I help thinking, you woned not have troubled your Head whether I was false or not, if you had not been concerned in it.  Mir. 
And do you imagine I can like a Man I had such an Opinion of?  Beau. 
We are naturally fond of our own Resemblance, and by that Rule to gain Miranda's good Graces; I can't be too false, or too volage.  

When present we'll love, when absent agreed;  (Sings. 
I think not of Iris, nor Iris of me.   Mir. 
Nay, now you have vanguished, there's not resisting that, the very Image of my own Heart, I can make the Exchange without missing it; but not a word of Sighing, Dying, Fidelity, Constancy, or any of that dull form; for 'twill immediately be sensible of being out of its Element, and return upon the Wing.  Beau. 
And upon peril of losing mine, let me never hear you have the lest remembrance of me when I an from you; not a word of me in Heroics to Lesbia.  Mir. 
For fear of spoiling your Amour with her.  Beau. 
What jealous? That's against the very end of our Agreement, but I don't care if we do clear Accounts to this day, and begin upon a new Score of roving.  Mi. 
In which we'll strive to outdo one another in Extravagance; but first, how far you are engaged with Lesbia.  Beau. 
That you may be judge yourself, whether she can have any Concern in me; know, she told me you had a Penchant to my Person.  Mi. 
By which I conclude she was jealous.  Beau. 
And do you think than she would have ventured to let me know of so dangerous a Rival?  Mi. 
'Twas in Raillery not doubt.  Beau. 
Aye indeed, she did railly enough upon it, that the Gay, the free Miranda, should be caught at last; therefore not only for fear I should suspect you of Constancy, but if you would not be the subject of her Mirth; Speak of me for the future with more caution.  Mi. 
And Lesbia's Jest, I suppose has occasioned me this favour.  Beau. 
Why really, Madam, I might protest, and lie, and swear; I could neither eat, nor rest since I see you; but if you'd have the Truth, I have always found among all other Attractions, Kindness only has resistless Charms, and by the means  gained secure your Conquest.  Mi. 
A way by which most of your Sex are lost; but why may not you be as particular as I an? This plain dealing of yours has Charmed me beyond all things, and sure 'tis as much out of the road for a Woman's Affection to be engaged by Sincerity, as a Man's to be secured by Kindness.  Beau. 
Aye indeed, you are seldom to be satisfied, unless we engage for as much more Love than we have, as we are willing to release you from paying; but I an not dissembler, Madam, and must confess my Love for you is none of those violent Passions that will of course abate; 'tis in so moderate a degree, that even your Fondness could not lessen it.  Mi. 
And mine so indifferent, your sincerity can't disturb me; so without a scruple, confess what Interest Lucilia has in you.  Beau. 
Really, Madam, she's at present very indifferent to me, but I believe, I shall shortly have a violent Passion for her, she's going to ruin an honest Friend of mine, and I shall hate her hearty for it.  Mi. 
How will she ruin him?  Beau. 
Mary him, How can a Woman ruin a Man else?  Mi. 
OH mischievous! But to show you that I know she is not indifferent to you, she said herself, you would wish she had not been here at your coming.  Beau. 
And thereby hangs a Tale. (apart) Faith, Madam, she was in the right on't, I had much rather have had you alone; she known my thoughts, and complied with 'em, I thank her, the first Favour she ever did me, or I ever wished from her; so now, I hope all past Accounts are cleared.  Mi. 
And for the future. Beaumine  (sings) 

We'll neither believe what either can say,  
So neither believing, can neither betray.   Beau. 
And at this rate our loves must be eternal, there's not danger of Quarrels or Satiety.  Mi. 
Aye, if all lovers had followed our Example, we had not herded so many Complaints of faithless Nymphs, and perjured Swains.  Beau. 
But they must be perpetually dangling at one another's Elbows; and the little time they are parted, enquiring after every Action or Step they take, for fear they should go astray.  Mi. 
So tyre one another when together, and torment themselves asunder; and not wonder, they soon break a knot, that with drawing too straight, sits uneasy upon them, and is the weaker itself, bursts upon the lest irregular Motion.  Beau. 
Well, Madam, that we may profit by others follies, I believe it 's time to part before we are weary of one another.  Mi. 
For now we have told all our thoughts, we are in great danger of growing dull; next time we meet, ten to one, but we shall be quite of another mind, and so new again; In order to it, I'll give you a Song made by a Heroic Lover of mine, perhaps it may infect you with Sighing, Whining, Dying Love.—— Who's there? Desire the Gentlewoman in the next Room to walk in; you'll oblige us, Madam, with the Song I gave you last to learn. (After a Song.) Well Beaumine, How does it affect you?  Beau. 
I melt, I languish, an all transport, now, (Sings a Line of the Sung) What shall I say to work upon thy Soul!  Mi. 
OH most Apish! How ridiculous a Man appears when he would cross Nature! He may as well expect to be finely shaped by putting on another Man's Clotheses, because they fit well upon him they were made for, as to please, by affecting the most agreeable Humour in another, it hangs as awkwardly upon him, and is as easily perceived not to be his own.  Beau. 
Than I must even stay from you till I an so much forgot, my own will be new again.  Mi. 
Which need not be long, I assure you, out of sight, out of mind.  Beau. 
A pleasant way of inviting me to return soon,  

Thus whilst the Artful Sex in words deny,  
The secret sense, and their kind looks comply.  (Ex. Beau.  Mir. 

Thus we gain Lovers, and secure our Fame,  
We promise' nothing, and they naught can Claim.  
They fancy Pleasures when we speak of Pain,  
And hopes enough, their Passion to maintain.  Ex. Mir..    


ACT the 3d. SCENE the public Walks  Enter Lesbia and Lucilia. Les. 
By his manner of speaking I could not imagine he would visit her, this is a new way to deceive by speaking Truth.  Lu. 
A sure one, 'tis so little expected from a Lover.  Les. 
I'll never forgive it him, What pretence can he have to excuse this?  Lu. 
If he get of now, 'twill be a Master piece of his Art indeed.  Lys 
Impossible, I wish we may see Grandfoy here to Night; he said he was to meet Cleon in the Walks, and I would willingly have his Advice how to behave myself now, before I see Beaumine.  Lu. 
I'm mistaken, if that is not Beaumine, coming this way with Phillabell.  Les. 
The very same, and gay as Innocence itself.  Lu. 
There's not avoiding 'em now, they're so near, they see us.  Les. 
Well, I won't disappoint you, for I know you would be so peevish all this Evening; if you should not speak to him now, there would be not enduring you, though he was with you so lately.  Lu. 
You're mistaken, though I never think I see him too often, I could have spared it now; since Cleon is to be here, their meeting might prove of ill Consequence, considering that Coxcomb's Design I told you of; 'tis not yet the time he appointed me to sand my Answer, but we'll go of soon, and oblige them to go with us, if we can.  Enter Beaumine and Phillabell. Beau. 
So the Friends are together, and all's out; well; I must take the old way of complaining first, when we know ourselves in fault.  Ph. 
I'm pleased at this unexpected good Fortune. Madam, the sight of you gives me soft pleasures that compose my Soul transported; now my happiness approaches, with my impatience of one day's delay, and Joy to think it is but one.  Beau. 
Indeed Lesbia, I did not imagine you had so much indiscretion, but Women can not more forbear talking of their Amours, than an ill Poet of his Verses; though they equally expose their folly, by what they design to gratify their Vanity with, and usually prove as tiresome to their Hearers, unless such as have ill nature enough to divert themselves with every thing that's Ridiculous in another.  Les. 
I don't know what you aim at, but I think indeed Women deserve to be laughed at, that boast of any king Thoughts, for such faithless things as Men are.  Beau. 
You'll guests what I mean, when I tell you I have seen Miranda, and know all you said to her.  Les. 
You'll know what I mean, when I tell you I herded that before, and guests what you said to her.  Beau. 
Really, Madam, so you may, you gave me cause enough to suspect you had let her know of our Engagement, and I resolved to see her, to find out how far you had discovered; I was never so out of Countenance in my Life.  Les. 
'Twould have been a wonder to have seen that indeed, for I'll swear you have an extraordinary assurance.  Beau. 
To be so laughed at, to hear you so ridiculed, for being overreached by a Creature that professes abusing every body; you would have been ashamed to have seen yourself so described, so mimicked so.—— I did not know what to say for myself or you.  Les. 
She abused you, if she told you I said any thing positive.  Beau. 
Positive, but such signs, such things—— O Lesbia, Lesbia, that you could be caught by such a shallow Artifice.  Les. 
I'm sorry, Sir——  Beau. 
Well, you know I love you, and can easily forgive you anything; but I hope you'll be more cautious hereafter.  Les. 
I think Beaumine, 'tis time our Engagement were made known to every body.  Beau. 
Aye, aye, We'll writ each others Name on every Bark,  

The Winds shall bear our Vows to distant Climes.  
And Echo every tender word rebound.   Les. 
Good Romantic Sir, Will you condescend for once, to Answer directly a little intelligible sense?  Beau. 
O! that were to wrong my Love, a Lover, and speak sense! To answer in cross Purposes, in broken Murmurs, and disjointed Words, expresses Passion.  Les. 
Do you think I'll be always put of with this trifling, Beaumine?  Beau. 
O! mighty things have been produced from Trifles, the cackling of Geese once saved the Capitol; Man's promises have gained many a fair one, and Woman's Favours lost 'em many Lovers; Trifles, trifles all, but great Effects.  Les. 
Is not that to tell me I have lost you, by what you think a Trifle?  Beau. 
Not, to show you I don't think your Favours a Trifle, and have not mind you should lose me, I would have 'em still Favours, the more to engage me, and not turn all to Duty.  Les. 
Had you talked thus to me at first, Beaumine.——  Beau. 
You had lost a great deal of Pleasure, Lesbia, and laughed at me for a Fool.  Les. 
Which is something better than a Knave.  Beau. 
Good words, good words, Madam, Knaves are precise, protesting, plotting, thinking Creatures; but you'll find this mad, maggoty Fellow, a very honest Fellow at last.  Les. 
At last.  Beau. 
Well, if you'll have me marry you just now, I'll run and fetch a Priest immediately. (Going.  Les. 
I think you're mad in earnest, Why Beaumine?  Beau. 
OH Gad, I forgot, the Canonical Hour is over. (Sings) But if I ever play the Fool, dear Cloris, I an thy.—— Well (turning to Phill.) What can you have to say to one another all this while? You are agreed upon the Premises, are convinced of that mutual Affection; and to answer for the future, can only serve to call the Sincerity of the present in question.  Lu. 
Why so, Sir? I think 'tis rather a Proof of the present, a sign we find it so great, we believe it will always last.  Beau. 
Aye, Madam, but if I hear a Man swear to a thing done out of his Sight, though it may hap to be true, I shall think he has a large Conscience, and scarce believe him in what he might now; and indeed, we may as well swear to any thing done in Japan; as for our future Inclinations, they are not lesle out of our knowledge or power.  Ph. 
I think a Man that knows himself not to be of a wavering Temper, if he has well considered the Merit of his Choice, may venture to promise' for his Constancy, without prejudice to his Honour.  Beau. 
But to what end should he promise'? Will it secure his Inclination one Minute the longer? OH but it secures the Woman he would engage.—— Madam, my Friend's a very honest Fellow, I believe he thinks what he says; but 'tis your fault, if you take his Word for what he cannot know; we had rather you should rely upon the Power of your Charms; and if the Ladies will force us to add Perjury to our Natural levity, the Sin must lie at their Door.  Les. 
'Tis a Folly indeed to rely upon their Word for future Inclinations, since few of 'em can answer for their future Actions.  Beau. 
Really, Madam, our Actions are generally guided by our Inclinations, this is not an Age of much Mortification. But are not you for walking, Ladies?  Lu. 
I'm a little tired; What think you of going of Lesbia?  Les. 
I'll wait upon you, Madam.  Ph. 
We'll attend to your Coach, Ladies.  Lu. 
Maybe you would not leave the Walks so soon.  Ph. 
Well, come back and take another Turn or two. To morrow early as the day, I'll visit you, and hope your Wishes; my fair Bride will meet me.  Lu. 
You never yet could come too early for 'em.  Beau. 
What a deal of tenderness are they going to morrow to destroy!  (Sings) 

Would you, would you love the Nymph for ever,  
Never, never, never, never, never let her be your Wife.   (Exeunt. Enter Grandfoy, Cleon, and" Bonsot. Cl. 
Let me expire, my false Nymph, going of with her Lover! Before my face! In the very place where I sent her Word I would be tonight! The inexpressible Confidence of a faithless Woman!  Bon. 
Nay Brother, don't be angry, I dare say she meant not affront to you, only to make him believe she don't care for you.  Cl. 
Than she's the greater Jilt, Brother.  Bon. 
Humph, Pugh, Lord, you will think the worst of every thing! Do but look how loathe she is to leave you; she stands still all the while she goes.  Gr. 
That's an extraordinary Art indeed.  Cl. 
I don't doubt her Affection.—— But the Fellow's rich, if she consulted her Honour or Happiness; Is such a Grossiere as Phillabell to be preferred to me? I protest, I almost pity her.  Gr. 
Aye, aye, even let the weakness of her Choice be her Punishment, 'tis below your Resentment.  Cl. 
Nay, 'tis not that I value the Creature, but than to disappoint my Rival will be a good Revenge for his presuming to hope, where I had once made my Pretensions; therefore he shall see all her Letters; I can't but think how sillily the Fellow will look, Ha', ha', ha'.  Gr. 
But you don't consider what a Kindness you'll do your Rival, in preventing his Marriage with such an undistinguishing Coquet; I fancy they'll better revenge you upon one another.  Cl. 
I Gad, thou art in the right, Cousin.  Bon. 
Aye faith, that's well said, I hate Mischief; and than you know, Brother, 'twould vex you more, if she should refuse you, after you had shown so much Concern for her.  Cl. 
Impertinent Suppositions! to show you the impossibility of it; I'm now positively resolved to pursue my Design.  Bon. 
Hay, why, I meant, in case, d●e see.—— Pugh, Brother, you are so hasty.—— I would have said, Psha, do not be so ill-natured.—— But I mean, that is, suppose, he should be very fond of the Honour of being your Rival.—— Aye, d'ye mind that now? And so force her willingly to marry him.  Cl. 
Than would I, after they are married, expose her Letters to the whole Tawn; that will be an immoderate pleasure, rat me.  Bon. 
That might breed Quarrels now between a Man and his Wife.  Cl. 
She'll be the more sensible of the ill Judgement of her Choice.  Bon. 
Phough.  Gr. 
OH but that is not en Cavalier, 'twill be looked upon as Vanity.  Bon. 
Aye this will do—— but now I think on't better, I don't believe he'll be angry—— being a very humble sort of a Man; he's likely to be Proud that you should be vain of his Wife's Letters.  Cl. 
Vain! Not, not, the Town know well enough, if I would boast, there are Ladies of more Wit and better Judgement than Lucilia, that have afforded me de Quoy.  Bon. 
Aye Brother, the Lady, you know, that never worked in her Life, and made you a Cravat all with her own Hands.  Gr. 
What, she drawn the Picture of his Cravat?  Cl. 
OH not, she really made the very Lace I have on, now you know Women of a great deal of Wit never work; but as love once raised a Blacksmith to a Painter, so it made her descend from her nicer Speculations to this Mechanic Employment; that I might wear the product of her Fingers.  Gr. 
OH wondered Effect of Passion! I confess.  Cl. 
Aye, if you consider the Elegancy of the Work.  Beau. and Ph. En. 
 here unseen. Gr. 
OH extremely Elegant.  Cl. 
That's a very fine Ring, I never see thee wear it before; some Lady's Favour undeniably, come confess, confess.  Gr. 
Why, yes faith, 'twas a Lady's Favour.  Cl. 
She must be of Quality by the Value of the Present.  Gr. 
'Twas given her by another Lover, his first Present too.  Cl. 
OH most obliging! But how did he bear it? (Here he seas the Ring.  Bon. 
Aye, if he should hear of it now what a deal of mischief might come on't.  Gr. 
I laughed hearty at the pains he taken, and the Presents he made, that she might be the lesle afflicted at the loss.  Cl. 
Kind Cully—— so she pretended she had lost it.  Gr. 
Aye, the Jest is—— pr'thee Cleon turn this way. (Seeing Beau.  Cl. 
This is the place I appointed to sand the Answer of my Letter.  Gr. 
Damn your Letter, pr'thee come. (Ex. Cl. and Gr. in Confusion.  Bon. 
Hey day, what vagary's this? He's afraid of some body I think.  Beau. 
Ha! This confirms me—— damned Jilt.  Bon. 
And this Gentleman seems Angry, I have a good mind to stay and hear what he says, that I may prevent their quarrelling together whilst they're asunder.  Ph. 
How now Beaumine! What's the matter;  Beau. 
Did you know him that turned of just now?  Ph. 
Very well, 'tis my Coxcombly Rival, Cleon, don't you know him?  Beau. 
Pox of your Rival, tother, he with the Ring I'd know.  Bon. 
Aye, 'tis so.  Ph. 
But why so fretful?  Beau. 
Plague! do you know him? Can't you Answer?  Ph. 
Why, I do not know him; but what if I did?  Beau. 
OH dissembling Witch!  Ph. 
What's this Passion for? Who has offended you?  Bon. 
I hope, Sir, you are not angry with the Gentleman you inquire after; he's a Relation of mine, Sir, and a very Honest Gentleman, I dare say, if he offends any body wilfully, it must be without his knowledge.  Beau. 
Than you may give him the knowledge, Sir, that he wilfully wears a Ring I may make bold to take from him, Sir.  Bon. 
OH Lord, Sir, as for that, if you have a mind for the Ring, I'll engage 'twill be at your Service; my Cousin's a gonerous Person, that does not value such a Trifle, nor the Person he had it from, in comparison of your Friendship, I dare say, Sir.  Beau. 
Why, do you know the Person he had it from, Sir?  Bon. 
Aye, Sir, any body may know her; a mere common Creature, she's kept indeed by a Coxcomb, a soft headed Cully.  Beau. 
You know him too, sir, I suppose.  Bon. 
A Fellow not worth knowing—— but the Wench is very fond of my Cousin, and a Man does not know how to deny a Woman.  Beau. 
Very well, Sir——  Bon. 
I tell you the plain Truth, to show you that you need not quarrel with my Cousin about the Ring; for he does not care this for it, nor the Lady neither, you may have them both, if you please, Sir.  Beau. 
You are very impertinently Civil, Sir.  Bon. 
OH Lord, Sir—— nay I must say that for myself, I an a very Civil, good-natured Fellow, I can't abide to see People when they are at quiet and in good-Humour, quarrelling with one another.  Ph. 
That's a strange sight indeed, Sir.  Bon. 
Aye, Sir, I hope you'll persuade your Friend not to be in a Passion for nothing; about something of a Ring and a Lady, a Jilt not worth his Concern, Sir,  Beau. 
That I an very well convinced of, sir, your Cousin and the Lady, and the Ring, may go to the Devil for me, as they please, Sir,  Bon. 
O, Sir, your very humble Servant, that's all I desire, that they may have leave to go to the Devil in quiet, Sir, I have not more to say, Sir; I'll be sure to tell him how Civil a Person you are, and I don't doubt he'll have the same Complaisance for you, begin your Journey when you will; he's none of the hottest Choleric Fellow, when ever he's in a heat against any 'tis in Cold Blood; your very humble Servant, Sir, I'm extremely obliged to you indeed, Sir. (Exit.  Ph. 
What a soft officious Fool this is? but pr'thee what Concern have you in the Ring you talked of?  Beau. 
By Heaven, the very same I gave to Lesbia.  Ph. 
Ha', ha', ha', ha', ha', why, thou canst not be Jealous, what of Lesbia! The fear of losing thee, you know, will keep her faithful.  Beau. 
Who could have suspected?  Ph. 
OH never think it, she that valued not the loss; but as a sad Presage thy dearer heart would follow; ha', ha', ha'.  Beau. 
Prithee leave thy fooling.  Ph. 
Were she a Wife indeed; but Lesbia, she whom nothing could console, but thy repeated Vows of never changing; ha', ha', ha'.  Beau. 
Lesbia false! where shall we look for Truth!  Ph. 
Not in a Woman that has sacrificed her Honour, but such a one as my Lucilia; OH what a Treasure! This makes me more impatient to be Master of it; 'tis an Age till to morrow, would she this Night were mine.  Beau. 
Why, truly, when a Man is to be hanged, a Night's Reprieve gives him but so much time to torment himself with the Apprehension. OH I could Curse the whole jilting, Hypocritical Sex.  Ph. 
They are all Lesbia's, but thou mayst Rail, thy Malice cannot reach Lucilia; the Abstract of all goodness, so true, so innocent; I had much ado to persuade her tother day, that any Woman could be false to her Husband, or even pretend to love where she did not.  Beau. 
And you believe her? Is there any of 'em that cannot talk of Sincerity?  Ph. 
O! 'tis stamped on all her Actions; than she's so reserved, she hated Cleon for his Impudence, he has made her blush a thousand times with the Liberty of his Discourse and Actions, Is not that her Governess?  Beau. 
I think so.  Enter Lysetta, with a Letter, which going to 
 hid as she seas Phill.. She let's fall accidentally. Ly. 
This is the place, but I don't see Phillabell here! Than I must not stay for Cleon.. (Ex.  Beau. 
She's in mighty haste, what have we here? A Billet doux?  Ph. 
I believe 'tis Lysetta's, you had best call after her.  Beau. 
The Direction gives me a Curiosity to open it—— Nay now. Phill. I'm made a Convert to Marriage. (Reads it to himself.  Ph. 
What can have wrought such a Miracle!  Beau. 
Why a Proof of thy Lucilia's Virtue and Sincerity; Do you know her Hand?  Ph. 
Perfectly.  Beau. 
Is this like it?  Beau. 
Is this like it?  Ph. 
The same to Cleon, some severe repulse I suppose.  Beau. 
Aye, really, 'tis pity to use the Poor Man so severely.  Ph. 
She never thinks she can use him ill, or me well enough. (Reads) You are ignorant what force the first Engagments have; and you as little know my Heart, when you imagine it capable of loving any thing—— but you. —— Ambrose I awake!—— If I marry Phill. 'tis to obey a Cruel Father, who will Sacrifice me to his Interest—— the rest is yet more baseness, it can't be Lucilia's  Beau. 
Not, not, Lucilia's! you know she hate's the impudent Fellow, for making her blush so often.  Ph. 
I can scarce Credit to my own Eyes.  Beau. 
O! why should you against so much Sincerity? 'tis stamped on all her Actions—— I dare swear 'tis in this—— she can't think it possible for a Woman to be false to her Husband, or pretend to love where she does not, there's a Treasure! 'tis an Age till to Morrow; Shan't we have a Wedding to Night, Phill?  Ph. 
I'll not believe it.  Beau. 
Never, never, were she a Woman that had sacrificed her Honour indeed, but one so reserved as thy Lucilia; ha', ha', ha', Prithee let's have the Wedding to Night, Phill. Come, hung delays.  Ph. 
Torment me, An I thus paid for all my Doting love and generous Trust?  Beau. 
The sure Reward of trusting; What should hinder people from being false, when they are certain not to be suspected?  Ph. 
'Tis a base Principle.  Beau. 
A Woman's Principle.  Ph. 
Nay, I can join with thee now in Railing.  Beau. 
Let's bid defiance together, to the whole Ensnaring, Damned, Lying Sex.  Ph. 
Agreed, and yet there was such pleasure in believing, I could almost wish I had not been undeceived; had she but Truth, she were an Angel.  Beau. 
May be so, for I an sure she could not be a Woman; betwixt you and I, what a couple of Coxcombs we are to dote upon what we despise! I see you love this Lucilia still, and to confess the Truth (now neither of us can laugh at tother.) I found Lesbia's infidelity strikes deeper at my Heart, than I thought any of her Sex could reach; she has in gaining and losing, spoiled more of my good Humour than the whole Kind could be worth in exchange.  Beau. 
O! A mere liking only, she is young and Airy.  Ph. 
And new.  Beau. 
Aye, if you could add kind, I do not know but those two Monasyllables might have more force to make me bear Lesbia's inconstancy than all Seneca's Morals; but there is an old Mistress of mine that still Rivals them all; the faithful Bottle, shall we try it?  Ph. 
I care not if I do, for I fear I shall never forget Lucilia, but when I forget myself.  Beau. 
Come along than, this is a Mistress we can both enjoy without being jealous of one another.  

Love's Niggard Spirit must the bliss engross,  
Companions would the happiness destroy,  
But wine does all its Charming pleasure loose,  
Unless we generously Share the Joy.  (Exeunt.  Enter Lucilia and Lysetta. Ly. 
Aye, this is the unlucky place.  Lu. 
There's not hopes of finding it, I an undone, I shall be exposed to the whole Town; nay for aught I know, Phill. himself may have found it.  Ly. 
This comes of a Woman's taking pains to do good, labouring out of her own Vocation. O! Madam, there's Cleon coming this way, now you may even carry your Message yourself, that it may be sure not to fail.  Lu. 
'Twill be the likelier to fail, I cannot speak such things as you made me writ, or if I should, 'twould be with so much Constraint, he must perceive it false, you know I can't dissemble.  Ly. 
I know you have practised it as little as any Woman, but trust Nature, Madam, trust Nature, and consider a young Husband will do you a great deal of good, your Sincerity,—— even have none at all, 'tis not a Virtue for this designing World; Nay, on my Conscience, I don't know why it should not be thought as much a Vice to prostitute our minds to every Fool, as our Bodies; Truth is the Chastity of the Soul, and should not be exposed to any man that would put it to the Proof.—— Here he is, Have a care of your metaphorical Chastity, or you may be forced to keep the real one, for Phillabell; and if that does not frighten you.——  Lu. 
Peace fool.  Enter Cleon.. Cl. 
I hope I have not missed the Letter, for I cannot positively determine whether I shall condescend to hinder her Marriage or not, till I know how she expresses herself. Here in Person! This is Excess of Civility indeed, I always thought her well bread.—— This unexpected favour, Madam——  Lu. 
And undesigned, Sir, I assure you.  Ly. 
O! Sir, the most unfortunate accident, my Lady sent me with a Letter to you, but meeting with one here, I was afraid should see me, I dropped it in my Surprise; my Lady, in a fright, came hither to look for it, but in vain, 'twas go, and not body knows what mischief may be done with it.  Cl. 
Was the Subject of it Dangerous?  Lu. 
Indeed it was.  Ly. 
It complained of your injustice in suspecting my Lady's Love, because she was forced to Mary another; and said such kind things of hereafter.  Cl. 
Was there a Superscription.  Ly. 
Aye, aye, your Name was upon it.  Cl. 
OH very well, that will be an excuse for what it contains to those that know me.  Lu. 
Ridiculous Vanity! There need not much pains, I found, to persuade this thing, he is beloved.  Cl. 
So, Madam, you marry Phill. to express your Aversion very Emphatically! But how do you show your Affection for me?  Lu. 
By not marrying you.  Cl. 
That is a favour I confess, but methinks, not very particular;  a World of Rivals in it.  Lu. 
OH that canted be avoided, but you are the only Person I particularly resolve never to marry.  Cl. 
As a Proof of your fondness.  Ly. 
Aye Sir, my Lady fears she should have such a World of Rivals, she could never be easy with you.  Cl. 
OH Lard, Madam, there's not Danger, but really I think, when a Man is singularly Eminent, he should never Mary; for he injures the Person he bestows himself upon, by exposing her to the Envy of your Sex, and the rest by giving 'em despair; it was worth the care of the Government in this scarcity of People of Merit, to forbidden Monopolising' 'em.  Lu. 
Indeed I would not injure my Sex so much as to Monopolise such an extraordinary Person as Cleon; this Fool can't be flattered too grossly. (apart.  Cl. 
Well Madam, since you are pleased to prefer me to Phill. in your Esteem, I won't distrub his imaginary Felicity; but I was thinking it might not be amiss to show some of your obliging Letters to my Friends, that it might justify to the World, (who might judge you by your Choice in a Husband) the niceness of your Wit and Judgement.  Lu. 
OH by not means Sir, they'll conclude you would not have done it but by my Consent, and take it as an effect of my Vanity.  Cl. 
You are in the right, Madam, there may be cause to suspect it, and Vanity is of all Follies the most Odious.  Lu. 
And yet he thinks himself agreeable! nay really I think vanity a very harmless thing; it does not body any hurt, those it deceives are the better for it, having not other quality to make 'em satisfied with' emselves; the rest of the World know, that like all other Artificial Lights, 'tis only to supply the defect of the Natural, and as they burn the brighter in the darkest Nights; so it appears most, where there's lest Merit.  Cl. 
Justly observed, Madam, Vanity is a very charitable Flatterer; I have known it encourage an unbred, ill dressed Fellow, to make Love to a Lady that every body known I was well with.  Lu. 
That might make him despair of pleasing her indeed, but I hope the Lady judged better of your Merits.  Cl. 
Yes faith, Madam, she judged him blockhead enough, for that dull Animal a Husband, avoided me, to secure her Virtue, and carried him out of Town, to show she was ashamed of him; and if that did not mortify his Vanity——  Lu. 
And secure him from Jealousy, it showed her Discretion, as great as her Judgement.  Cl. 
Not, strike me dead, it had been wiser to have stayed, and given him a Cause of Jealousy; the only excuse a Woman can have for Marrying a Man she does not love, is to secure her pleasure with the Man she does, 'tis a way among the Women of Condition to contrive for their Interest before they Mary, and their Inclination after; but the Rustic had infected her with his stupid Society, 'twas only want of Modish Conversation, a finished good breeding.  Lu. 
Well, to show you I an better Bread, and not to be spoiled by the stupid Conversation of a Husband, I'll always have it with the Ceremony of a New; and the Coldness of an old Acquaintance, never have the same Diversions, and seldom the same Bed.  Cl. 
Very courtly upon Honour, than for your Lover, Madam, he must make one in all your avowed Pleasures for a blind to the secret stolen one's, be always with you at Cards, hand you to your Coach from the Play, be very free together in public, to appear the more innocent; than he must be very intimate with your Husband to make him the more secure of you,—— and the Town the more suspicious.  Lu. 
I don't doubt but with your Instructions to prove as Modish a Mistress as a Wife, I promise' never to avoid you, to secure my Virtue.  Cl. 
Than I have not Obstacle to fear for all the Women I have addressed to, would never see me again, knowing the only way to Conquer, was to fly; I shall certainly Attack, Madam, and than you will not found your Virtue in Danger—— but not virtue at all, I an positive.  Lu. 
Indeed, I positively believe there will be not Virtue at all in the Case, I shall not once struggle with my inclinations to resist you.  Cl. 
A, a, it would be in vain, but a little for decorum—— the poor thing is strangely fond; well, Madam, that I may be happy hereafter, I will be secret now, and if you please, appear at your Wedding more gay than the Bridegroom.  Lu. 
You'll be a welcome Guest; but I dare stay not longer—— live upon hopes—— substantial Food enough for thee—— 

Vain, empty things, more solid could not bear.  
who'd nothing else themselves, must live on Air.  (Ex.   Cl. 
Well, I profess this is a very generous Age, these Married Men are at the Expense of what we don't care to do, and we in Return do for them, what they never could do; 

In mutual Charities we pass our lives,  
They keep our Mistresses, we please their Wives!  (Exit.     


ACT the 4th. SCENE Miranda's Lodgings.  Enter Miranda and her Woman. Mi. 
OH, aye, I'm within to her, desire her to walk up. (Ex. This is a very quick return of my visit, how fond Lesbia and I grow of late; there are not such dear Friends and constant Companions in the World, as Women that are Jealous of one another—— O! my dear, this is so obliging.  (En. Les. 
I could not deny myself the Satisfaction any longer, and I hope you'll take it kindly; for there's not body I desire more to be believed a Friend to, than Miranda.  Mi. 
And not body, I assure you, desire's more to be yours; but how can I think you mine, when you are not free with me? You always speak with so much reserve.  Les. 
Indeed, if I had any secret to impart, I should do it freely; but since Beaumine has been to visit you, not doubt he has convinced you, you had not reason to think there was any thing between us; you may engage with him as you think fit, without any injury to me.  Mi. 
I engage with him! Lord, I but jested—— Sure you did not think me serious,— I had a Curiosity indeed to know your Amour; but did you imagine I could have any design upon such a vain, pert, unaccountable Creature?  Les. 
This is certainly affected, I'll be hanged if the Traitor has not cautioned her too against trusting me (apart.) you gave him much better Epithets once, Miranda; but instead of thinking him that Charming Fellow, I found now you extremely dislike him.  Mi. 
Not extremes indeed, he's perfectly indifferent to me.  Les. 
'Tis true, that's all he deserves to be, I see nothing extraordinary in him.  Mi. 
You thought much better of him once too, Lesbia—— Now have I a shrewd suspicion, this faithless Swain has made us distrust one another, that he might the better deceive us both; Well, if it is so, I'm resolved to torment her, and be revenged of him (apart.) Well, my dear, since you assure me you have not concern in him, I'll confess my weakness; that 'twas with all the difficulty imaginable I constrained myself for your sake, not to make a return to such tender, engaging Things, as I thought him uncapable of saying.  Les. 
OH villain—— Not doubt he can say what he pleases, Madam.  Mi. 
O! but in a manner so persuading—— and yet, till you confirmed it, I would not believe him, though he vowed he had not love for you, and told me all you said to him of me.  Les. 
Traitor!—— As a Friend, Miranda, I advice you, not to rely too much upon what he tells you; for to my knowledge, you are not the only Person he makes addresses to.  Mi. 
Nor is he the only I'll receive Addresses from (Sings) He's fickle and false, and there we agreed—— We shall have the more Adventures to entertain one another with; so be diverting always, always new, and I'll engage to secure him the more, by not endeavouring to confine him.  Les. 
Secure him! Sure you forget you're engaged to Constant..  Mi. 
Not, but I'm in hopes very soon to torment him out of his Love or his Senses, that I may have my Liberty.  Les. 
Phough, now I found you Jest indeed.  Mi. 
The D—— is in me, I think, I'm so possessed with this giddy Humour, it gives a Tincture to my most weighty Affairs; but if I could look languishing, and sigh—— OH the dear Charming Man! there is not Joys, not Life without him! 'twould not half express my Heart; now I have found he's not insensible, and than you know his fortune's very Considerable, I can't see how I can do better.  Les. 
Whether you are in earnest or not, Miranda, I must tell you seriously, it won't be for your Reputation to receive from a Man of his wild Character.  Mi. 
Really! I'll swear I should not have thought so, having met him at your Lodgings.  Les. 
I intent to get rid of him as soon as I can.  Mi. 
O! If everybody throws him of I'm resolved to receive him, for by being so scandalously general, he'll be forced to be particular; and 'tis many a Pious Man's Case, who would never have been Honest if he had not lost his Credit, never Virtuous if his Appetites had not decayed; 'tis the best thing you can do for his Reformation, and my Happiness.  Les. 
Well, well, Madam, however you flatter yourself, I don't doubt but you'll found yourself as unhappy with him as he has made others; so your Servant Madam, I shan't trouble you more with my Counsel, but you'll Repent.——  Mi. 
What? Nay Lesbia, I can't let you go now, 'tis so obliging to be moved at this rate for your Friends good—— Come, come, had not you better confess, what this concern enough discovers; if you would be sincere with me, I could tell you a Secret worth two of yours, and would give you more satisfaction than all your own Art or Resentment ever can.  Les. 
Perhaps I could tell you something too, that would undeceive you, but I have not great Encouragement from the use you made of what I hinted before for your Advantage, repeating it to Beaumine, and ridiculing me for it.  Mi. 
The lying Toad! may I never have a Secret of my own worth keeping, or of another's worth telling, if I said one word of it, but 'twas a wonder I did not; for if I discover any thing of myself that can make a Jest, out it comes at all adventures; but when I an thro'ly trusted, though with a Jest, I can keep it without bursting, and faithfully will, I promise' you.  Les. 
Than I will own to you, Beaumine and I are so solemnly engaged, that if he has made you any Proposal, he's the most perfidious Man on Earth.  Mi. 
Nay, than 'tis past jesting, and I must tell you, what I said was only to try you; all his Discourse to me was a mere Gallantry, and with his usual Gaity of Humour; yet by the care I found he has taken to hinder us from confiding in one another, I apprehended he may have some farther Design.  Les. 
Than if  none upon him, you may assist me in one I have of Consequence.  Mi. 
With all my Heart, for whatever little Inclinations I may have, they only amuse me for the present; but the more endear Constant to my serious Thoughts, whose plain Dealing and true Affection I found not where equalled, and will get the better of my fickleness at last.  Les. 
But that I desire you to disguise from Beaumine, and to pretend you are dissatisfied with your Uncle's Choice, which will encourage him to declare himself, if he has any serious Designs, and you carry it on handsomely.  Mi. 
Let me alone for that, I have acted an indifference for Constant long enough to be perfect in't En.  Wo. 
A Gentleman, Madam, that calls himself Bonsot, inquires if you are here.  Mi. 
O! By all means let him come, that Creature can never be unentertaining, if we can furnish not occasion for his good Nature to do Mischief in, the Elegancy of his Bulls must divert us. (En. Bonsot.  Bon. 
Since you command me to do myself this Honour, hope, Madam, you'll forgive my intruding without your leave, where I have not business, being 'tis a Concern of Consequence brings me.  Mi. 
Than it seems, Sir, you have business here.  Bon. 
Aye, with this Lady, Madam, I was to wait on you at your Lodgings, and was told you were at Miranda's; so having something to say to you, I came to let you know it, because I can't inform you of it here.  Mi. 
Pray use your liberty, Sir.  Bon. 
Your very humble Servant—— Why, look you, Madam, my Brother sending me, I came of my own accord, to desire you will tell your friend Lucilia; that he don't know, but he's very certain, Phill. found the last Letter she written to him; for I see him just in the place where it was lost, mightily concerned at a Paper he had in his hand; I known by his voice he was in a Passion, but he was not within hearing/  Les. 
I thought you herded his voice.  Bon. 
Aye, Madam, but I could not tell what he said, for though I was pretty near 'twas at a good distance.  Les. 
Well, Sir, I'll be sure to tell her what you don't know, but are very certain of.  Bon. 
That will be very kind, Madam, but if I could meet with him I warrant I'd appease him. (En. Woman.  Wo. 
A Gentleman below, Madam, desire's to wait on you?  Mi. 
Who is it?  Wo. 
The young brisk Gentleman that I told your Ladyship would make a rare Gallant for you when you are married; but he looks sullen enough now for a Husband.  Mi. 
Beaumine, on my life, let him come up—— now if you'll step into that Closet, you may be witness of the whole Scene.  Les. 
With all my Heart, this is lucky; but should not Bonsot retire too?  Mi. 
Not, he may stay if he'll be sure not to discover your being here.  Bon. 
You need not fear me, Madam, I never discover a secret, unless it should hap to be something I don't know.  Mi. 
In, in, he's coming. (Enter Beaumine.  Beau. 
I was told, Madam, Lesbia was here.  Mi. 
She's just go.  Beau. 
Do you know whether? Madam.  Bon. 
Not, Sir, I can assure you she does not know.  Mi. 
Now, do you think to make me Jealous, or is it to make yourself new? It is indeed extremely new; but not very taking way of addressing to a Woman by showing a Concern for another.  Beau. 
Faith, Madam, the Concern I have for her at present, need disturb not body but myself, for I do hate her hearty.  Mi. 
Which would not disturb you, if you had not rather lover her hearty.  Bon. 
Nay, why so Madam? I don't believe the Gentleman had rather love her; but a Man may love a Woman that he hate's, whether he will or not, and than 'tis not his fault.  Mi. 
So you have mended the matter.  Beau. 
A Man can't bear to be imposed upon.  Mi. 
And now can a Woman impose upon a Man, when they have not Interest in one another? As you would have me believe.  Bon. 
There you are too hard again, Madam, mayn't a Woman impose upon a Man; merely out of a jilting Nature, though she have not Interest at all in it? Especially if she finds him fond and credulous.  Beau. 
I have a rare Advocate—— Well, Madam, in Anger as well as in Wine there is Truth; I confess, Lesbia once had such an Interest in me, as would have cost the best part of my Possessions to satify; but thanks to the Virtue of her Sex, she has forfeited.  Mi. 
What a Debt upon your Estate?  Beau. 
Upon my Liberty, the most unreasonable of Debts; but I'm released and—— seized again by another, but there's not more bond and Judgements against me: I shall only be your Prisoner at large, you may call me in when you please, Miranda.  Mi. 
How can I trust you, when Lesbia that had so fast confined could not secure you?—— Come Beaumine, honesty own, you broken loose from her to give yourself to me, 'twill be far the better Compliment, and more generous to her than to wrong her every way.  Bon. 
Really, the Gentleman seems to me a very Honest Gentleman, that would not wrong any Lady unless it were in a just cause; I warrant if he had not been in love with you or some body else, he would never have forsaken her, but when a greater Merit claims his Heart, d'ye see, a Man has right of his side to do wrong to the lesle worthy.  Mi. 
Most solidly and eloquently argued.  Beau. 
'Tis such a well meaning blunderer—— I'm extremely obliged to you, Sir.  Bon. 
Not at all, Sir, I always endeavour to make a right understanding between any People that I an acquainted with, though they are Absolute Strangers to me.  Beau. 
Ha', ha', ha', very charitably done indeed, Sir,—— but Madam, on my Honour I have not injured Lesbia—— Ha', I feel my Liberty, (Repeats) lighter by what  lost I tread on Air—— Have a care of yourself, Miranda; she has left a plaguy deal of Love upon my hands, and if you should be forced to bear it all——  Mi. 
I dare undertake it, like Aesop's choice of the Bread, though the heaviest Burden at first, being our constant Subsistance, 'twill waste every day, and soon be light enough.  Beau. 
Than you must resolve to have not other Subsistance.  Mi. 
O such a dry Diet—— a little Variety to make it Relish the better, but if you are for Devouring it so fast, let's even make but one Meal on't, Mary, and there's an end; What think you of that Beaumine?  Beau. 
Think, Aye—— Faith, we must even do't without thinking, or we shall never have the Courage.  Mi. 
Nay but I'm Serious.  Beau. 
What, before we're Married, time enough after, this is a Time for Gaiety and Joy, Ha', my fair Bride, here let me Plight my Vows on this soft Hand. Const. Enters here unseen.  Con. 
So Close!  Beau. 
But now I think on't, there's a Matrimonial Rival in the Case, he'll certainly forbidden the Banes.  Mi. 
Ah, Name him not, I an so sick of his fulsome, whining Stuff.  Beau. 
I'm afraid there's more Love than you'll confess, by what I have heard of the Matter.  Mi. 
They talk of putting us together indeed, but sure you're more a Man of this Age, than to think Love a consequence of Marriage.  Bon. 
Aye Pox, Love is never any part of the concern in Marriage; some indeed Mary only for Love, but than——  Beau. 
Aye, Madam, 'tis sometimes the cause of it, Love has many extravagant Effects.  Mi. 
His Love may be the cause of it, for it makes him so indefatigable a Tormentor, that if you have not Courage enough to free me, I must marry him at last, for that's a sure way to be rid of him.  Con. 
Fortune has found you out a quicker way, my Passion now not longer shall Torment you, nor I be more the Subject of your Mirth.  Mi. 
What must I say now! If I undeceive him, it will discover Lesbia's Secret; besides I loose the dear pleasure of Teazing him.  Bon. 
What can I contrive now!  Con. 
Is there excuse for this ungenerous usage? Had I by violent Means, or indirect pursued you, but how often, Miranda, with bleeding Heart, and gushing Eyes, have I sworn rather to place you in another's Arms, than fetter you in mine against your will? Why than, if I were so uneasy to you, could you not rid yourself with Honour of me? Why this unfair proceeding?  Bon. 
Nay Sir, I must needs say, the whole fault was partly mine, of their being so good Friends, for when they first met, this Lady was Jealous of another, and he was in an Anger, they seemed to have very little kind thoughts for one another, but you must know, I, Sir——  Con. 
Have very well Reconciled 'em since, I see Sir—— So far engaged Anger and Jealousy between' 'em! OH faithless Woman—— What pretence.  Mi. 
Well, who can tell when to believe these Lovers? 'Twas but yesterday he sworn, I was too great a Good to be engrossed, Nature designed me an Universal Blessing; and now I must make not body Happy but himself.  Con. 
Miranda, you're a Woman.—— Sir, this is not proper place for our dispute.  (Going Beau. 
Now must I fight with him for having taken his Mistress from him, and with her Relations for not taking her.  Bon. 
O, Madam—— Pray Sir, hear me, for you must know, I was with them all the time they were alone, though some Body, that shall be Nameless, would have had me go, but I assured her, I could keep a Secret.  Con. 
You would have obliged her more, in giving her a privater opportunity, not doubt. OH Torture! (Apart  Bon. 
Pugh, that was as I told you, a Person that must be Nameless.  Con. 
Sir, I an not in a Humour to be Fooled with (Going)  Bon. 
Fooled, Sir!  Mi. 
This is carrying the Jest a little too far, though—— Constant,  Con. 
Madam.  Mi. 
I would feign know upon what Terms we part, before you go.  Con. 
Terms of never meeting, I know not other can be made between us. (going)  Mi. 
But one thing more.—— I an considering which of us must wear the Willow, Can you resolve me?  Con. 
An I your Jest?  Mi. 
Well, but in Earnest now, stay but a Minute.  Con. 
What to be more Abused? I have been Fooled enough.  (As he is going 
 Lesb. comes out of 
 the Closet and stops 
 him. Lesb. 
Stay to be disabused.  Con. 
I know enough.  Beau. 
Lesbia here! than I'm afraid, 'tis I have been fooled.  Bon. 
Lord, that she should discover herself? But do what she will, I'm resolved not to betray my Trust.  Les. 
Nay, you shall stay and know the Truth.  Beau. 
I know, Madam, that you are a very Virtuous, Generous Person.  Les. 
Thou-babes the Basest of Men, but I have not leisure to upbraid thee, till I have Justified my Friend.  Bon. 
So, more Mischief forward, I must not betray my Trust.  Les. 
I dare affirm, she had not now a Thought of wronging you, for 'twas at my Request, to try Beaumine's Truth, she gave him this obliging Reception, Bonsot can witness——  Bon. 
I scorn to betray my Trust, Madam.—— As for me, Sir, I can't say Lesbia was here before, but I can affirm this to my knowledge, that Miranda had not design of quarrelling with you, but you not being here, d'ye see, and this Gentleman a very engaging Person, she could not be so hard-hearted, you must hink, to put him quite in despair.  Con. 
Do you Insult me, Sir?  Bon. 
Sir,  Mi. 
He does not know his Humour.  Bon. 
Why should you be so peevish, Sir? What if she had sent him away in despair, and he had go and hanged himself?  Con. 
Than you might have hanged with him for Company, Sir.  Bon. 
O, o, o, to do you Service, Sir.  Les. 
An Officious Coxcomb not worth your Anger, but what I have 〈◊〉  Con. 
You'll Pardon me if I believe herself, she has 〈◊〉 to deny, but Justifies her Infidelity.  Les. 
That was, I suppose, her too scrupulous Care to conceal what I Entrusted her with; but I see there could be not other proof of her Innocence, but my appearing, which must convince you 'twas a Plot between us; What else could I be hide for? You need not conceal it now, Bonsot.  Bon. 
Nay, nay, don't think to draw me in so, I known better things, this is all to make a difference betwixt you and Miranda; now, I see the drift on't, but don't mind her. (to Beaumine)  Con. 
Your Witness is not well enough Instructed.  Bon. 
O, as to that I know all, and if you will have it, Lesbia did hid her self indeed, not that there was any Plot against Beaumine; but Miranda having a desire to be alone with him.—— Not that she designed to injure you, Sir, ●ing you should know all.—— to Con.) Not that she would have betrayed you, Sir, but for fear he should discover it.—— to Beau.) Thou there was not harm, but you might have been Jealous, and made a Fight 〈◊〉.—— to So you might have been killed, Sir.—— (to Beau.) And your Life in danger, Sir.—— (to Con.) But the Lady having a great Value for you, Sir.—— (to And fearing to loose you, Sir.—— (to Contempt) And as I was saying.—— Aye Pox, I'd feign have you both satisfied.  Con. 
What Impertinence is this?  Beau. 
Is it not my turn to complain now, Madam?—— Well, there is not Confiding in you Women, your Vainity, or Jealousy is sure to betray 〈◊〉; but if ever I trust two to know one another, with the same Secret ss You are the strangest Incontinent Creatures.  Mi. 
And have you the Impudence to complain of 〈◊〉 that you were endeavouring to deceive!  Beau. 
Why, have not you both deceived me?  Mi. 
Ha' 〈◊〉, if I could not be fond of him again for this Humour. But you, I hope Constant, are now convinced.  Con. 
Yes, Madam, though I before taken Pains to Cheat myself, now every Act of your Disdain and Coldness, upbraids the folly of my blinded Passion, that would believe they rise from any Cause, but strong Aversion.  Mi. 
One would think, a Woman of my Fortune, need not to be so desperate at these years, to bestow herself upon on that is her Aversion.  Con. 
You known my Credulous Nature fit to work on, and now I should deserve to be so used, be made the Tool you meant me for, if I again believed; but not, Miranda,  broken my Chain, and here I throw it from me; Thus from my Injured Heart, I'll throw you too for ever. (Going.  Mi. 
OH come back, I beg you.  Con. 
Never.  Mi. 
Than he is lost indeed, and I an wretched.  Bon. 
But, Sir, pray consider, as the Lady was saying, she's a young Lady, and a Rich Lady, and might have any Body she pleases, I would Mary her with all my Heart, myself, though I'm resolved never to Mary, so what need can she have——  Con. 
None of me, Sir, so pray give me leave.  Bon. 
Nor of any Man for a Tool, Sir, for this I can say, she had not design to have a Gallant, for as soon as the Gentleman talked of Love to her, she proposed Marriage.  Con. 
She was very forward it seems.—— I must be go, Sir.  Bon. 
Forward, Sir.—— O, I suppose that.—— Nay, hear me, Sir.  (As he offers 
 to go, Bon. still stops him. Con. 
Provoking Coxcomb.  Les. 
This is Barbarous, for shame, Constant, you won't leave her thus in Tears.  Con. 
Tears, come, Madam, you need not hid your Mirth, (Taking her handkerchief 
 from her Face. I can Laugh with you now, Ha! she weeps indeed! OH let those precious Drops fall on this Bosom, soften this stubborn Heart, that would contend against thy Virtue, and its own Persuasion.  Bon. 
Aye, I known I should Reconcile 'em at last.  Mi. 
Why will you believe? These Tears, may be dissembled.  Con. 
Not, thou art Truth itself, and my Proud Heart wanted but this excuse for its Submission; Can you forgive me?  Mi. 
Indeed you were unkind, though you had reason, for, I confess, I have not used you well.  Con. 
Do you confess it? 'Tis too large Atonement; OH that in this soft Minute I could hear my Charmer speak me Happy; Tell me, Miranda, when will you be mine?  Mi. 
Indeed the Apprehension of losing you was so dreadful to me, that now, methinks, I can't be secure of you too soon.  Con. 
Shall it be to Morrow than?  Mi. 
You Dispose of me.  Con. 
To Morrow than, Miranda, makes us one; OH my Transported Soul leaps at the Thought, as if it would break forth, to speak its Joy! it will not stay, but flies to meet with thy through this loved Bosom, and take an Earnest of our coming Bliss.—— To Morrow, my Miranda, OH my Love!  Les. 
I wish you would take an Earnest large enough to subsist on a day or two longer, I shall be at a loss else how to divide myself betwixt you, and Lucilia.  Beu. 
You may engage yourself here, if you please, Madam, for I believe Lucilia will have not great occasion for you to Morrow, unless it be to condole with her.  Les. 
Condole with her! for what? Only for being disappointed of a good natured Cuckold, Madam, that's all.  Bo. 
That is Pity!  Les. 
Scandalous! you are such an Enemy to Virtue, none that profess it can scape your censure; what is't you mean by these Accusations?  Be. 
Why, I mean that a very civil Letter which she designed for her Gallant fallen by chance into Phillabell's hands, at the very same time that the Ring you had given yours, happened into the sight of your humble Servant.  Les. 
I suppose you both wanted an Excuse for your constancy, and so fallen upon this Invention.  Bo. 
Not indeed, Madam, 'tis not his invention, the thing is true only, 'tis a mistake; a Ring there was, but you know Sir, I told you 'twas given by a Wench, a very Jilt.  Be. 
I believe you, Sir, indeed.  Con. 
As you have been an Instrument in this division, I hope Miranda it will be your care to reconcile these Lovers. I must leave you to give some Orders for to Morrows happy busivess.  Mi. 
Come, what say you to it? Will you accept of me for Arbitrator? I'll be a very Impartial Judge.  Be. 
Lesbia I have still some regard for your Honour, and would be loathe to publish your baseness.  Mi. 
Will you, Beaumine, do her Justice, if she is innocent, and can clear herself.  Bea. 
Aye, aye, if the Sky fall, Madam.  Les. 
I dont doubt my Justification; but that must be deferred.  Bea. 
Venus forbidden! Upon the assurance that was impossible, I was just going to make her the Promise.  Les. 
Methinks, Beaumine, it would become you, at this time, to Answer Miranda's question in a more serious manner.  Bon. 
Seriously than, be it known Lesbia, there is a Law that excludes any one from witnessing their own Cause.  Bon. 
That's a very silly Law though, for does not one know their own Cause best, and are most concerned to clear themselves, right, or wrong?  Beau. 
Therefore, Sir  Les. 
But if I should bring Proofs?  Beau. 
Aye, aye, there are Proofs that the Earth moves, and that it does not move, every thing can be proved; but where we are concerned the strongest Argument is always on the side our Inclinations are for; so first make me sensible you were innocent.  Les. 
Are you resolved than  Bea. 
Never resolve any thing, I did resolve to believe you faithful, you resolved to deceive me, both I have been disappointed; little said's soon amended, Words are but wound, all Promises are either broken, or kept, Proverbs flow against you/  Les. 
Intolerable trifler, Beaumine, I shall found a way to force a juster answer from you.  Bea. 
(Sings) Woman's rage like shallow Waters.  Bon. 
I gad I love to see People merry, come, Madam, never spoil Company, you see this Gentleman's pleased; here's not body out of humour now, but you.  Les. 
Here not body has cause, but I  Bon. 
Pugh, not a whit, I'll engage Beaumine will never give you any farther trouble.  Les. 
Prithee Bonsot, I'm not in a humour now to be pleased with your good natured impertinence.  Bon. 
Aye, aye, this is always my reward for taking pains to do good, when People are in a peevish mood, presently I'm impertinent.  Mi. 
Come, come, a Truce with your anger till a better opportunity of clearing the Debate.  Les. 
I had almost forgot Lucilia, she must know of the Letter he talks of, (a part) Adieu, my dear, 'tis late, and time to leave you, Ex. Les.  Bon. 
I must follow her, for I never leave People till I have argued, or teased, 'em out of their anger; and, Sir, if you don't found her as fond of you as ever she was in her Life, next time you meet, say I'm an officious, impertinent, insignificant, Fellow (Ex. Bon.  Bea. 
That will be an extraordinary Obligation, indeed, Sir.  Mi. 
Well, Beaumine, you must consider too it grows late, and that I must begin to think of the virtues of a Wife's Discretion and Obedience.  Bea. 
Ah! that's a Virtue I must have too, but mightily against my will when you command me to leave you; this has been a very Tragical day to Lovers, Phillabell his Mistress false, Lesbia lost a believing Coxcomb, I my hopes of the most agreeable Woman in France, and she I'm afraid will found herself in a greater distress than any of us, for faith Miranda, what ever the unexperienced may fancy of Marriage. 

As those who furrowed Fields at distance view,  
May think 'em smooth and flowery as they show;  
But he that enters, curses what they praise,  
Finds 'em deceitful, toilsome, rugged Ways.  (Ex. severally     


ACT. V  
Scene, The Walks.  Enter Bonsot with Grandfoy. Bon. 
COusin, I say, trouble yourself not more about this matter, Beaumine is thoroughly satisfied, for you must know, I told him the Person you had the King from was a common Gilded, a Wench you had not value for, and he presently believed me.  Gr. 
Thy Folly's so ridiculous, it mocks my Anger; would thou couldst once be sensible how unluckily thou ever toil'st against thy own designs, thy good Nature than would surely Silence thee—— to be always meddling where you have nothing to do, in things you know nothing of!  Bon. 
Aye, aye, I know nothing, I don't know that he was in such a Passion with you, if I had not hindered him, he'd have cut your Throat before now, without giving you time to say your Prayers.  Gr. 
Better he had, than she had been abused, the Woman in the World whose Honours I an most concerned to vindicate, and most to him.  Bon. 
Why, her Honour's never the worse for what I said of her; but to please you now, I'll go to him again, and tell him I was mistaken; that the Lady never had a kindness for any Man but you——  Gr. 
That will mend the matter, indeed.  Bon. 
Well, than you shall see how I'll manage it, (Going  Gr. 
Prithee Bonsot be quiet, all the kindness I ask of thee, is never to intent me any.  Bon. 
But would not you have me do Justice to a Lady you say I have wronged?  Gr. 
Not, not, I an just going to Beaumine, where I have appointed him to meet me, and shall found a way to do her justice myself.  Bon. 
OH ho, than I'll go with you.  Gr. 
Indeed you shan't, Sir.  Bon. 
Try me but once, If I don't make all well again——  Gr. 
Pray, hold your tongue, Sir  Bon. 
Well, I will hold my Tongue than, if you'll let me go, for I know you'll begin a Quarrel now, and put Beaumine out of his good humour, and than he'll never let you go to the Devil in quiet, Cousin—— OH there's my Brother's Rival, I must talk with him, stay for me but a little while now.  Enter Phillabell. Gr. 
Little enough, I promise' you—— a lucky deliverance. (Ex.  Bon. 
Sir, your humble Servant—— happening to see you take up a Letter in the Walks, I imagine it might be one my Brother expected there, because he did not receive it.  Ph. 
If he would know what it contained, not doubt the Lady that sent it will inform him.  Bon. 
Aye, Sir, but that is not the thing now, I can tell you more, because you have reason to take it ill, to show you have not reason, Sir.  Ph. 
Not reason, Sir?  Bon. 
Not a dram, Sir, upon my word, for you must know all the kind things in it, were only to pacify my Brother, for fear he should show you the rest of her fond Letters, not but she really designed to Mary you.  Ph. 
I don't question it, upon my word, Sir.  Bon. 
Aye, Sir, to be sure she was in earnest with you, she admitted you to the House, when he could only see her by stealth.  Ph. 
Confounded' 'em.  Bon. 
And than, you have a much better Estate than he, Sir.  Ph. 
I believe she was sincere with that, Sir.  Bon. 
So I hope sir I have satisfied you, and since you know she designed you her Sober choice, and only to play the Fool a little with him; you won't be angry if he shows you her Letters, and I may have leave to wish you Joy, Sir.  Ph. 
Joy Sir, thou busy trifler, hence, and don't provoke my Rage, what Devil sent thee, when I an going to Lucilia, whom I would meet as calmly, as if I were not Injured.  Bon. 
Injured, why don't I tell nyou Sir, I'm certain she designs to Mary you.——  Ph. 
Thy Folly gives thee a Privilege, to abuse men safely; there's not way to resent it, but by flying from impertinence. (Ex.  Bon. 
Psha, psha, as I was saying, Sir,—— Phough, why so fast Sir,—— that Men should be such Enemies' to truth, they don't care to hear it, though for their good! Every body runs away from me, when I would tell it 'em if I were a Monster;—— OH yonder's Beaumine, I'll go satisfy him, and than to see what humour Lesbia's in, and than to my Cousin, and my Brothers, I'll go to 'em all round; I do take a deal of pains, and do a World of good—— to not purpose. (Ex. Bonsot  Enter Lucilia and Lysetta Lu. 
This comes of taking your pernicious Counsels, they have always been fatal to me.  Ly. 
I'm sure I meant well, though it falls out so unluckily; who could dream of such an accident?  Lu. 
Dream, for aught I know the fool hired you to betray the Letter to Phillabel.  Ly. 
Nay Madam, I know you can't suspect my Fidelity to you.  Lu. 
How dare you talk to me? Get you out of my Sight.  Ly. 
Dear, Madam, have patience, if you'll be advised all may be well yet.  Lu. 
You're very free of your wise Counsels indeed, but I'll hear not more of' 'em.  Ly. 
Nay, good Madam, be pacified, I know I have been the cause of this Misfortune, and therefore I would feign do you some Service, that may recompense it.  Lu. 
What Recompense, what Service can you pretend to do me? Has he not seen the Letter under my own hand?  Ly. 
If you can but deny it confidently enough, I don't doubt your coming of, for all that.  Lu. 
Deny it! What when he has the proof in his possession? What could that signify, unless to show him I had joined Impudence to Infidelity.  Ly. 
Nay, it must be managed artfully, you must seem angry with him as if you suspected a Forgery; you know I can sergeant that hand, insinuate that to him cunningly; do you observe me, Madam?  Lu. 
Well, what does all this tend to?  Ly. 
'Tis a nice business, and will require not little artifice, but let all your Care be, very slyly to give him a Suspicion of me.  Lu. 
Do you think he'll be imposed upon so? It can but make him doubt at most.  Ly. 
Aye, but I have a further Plot; we may be thankful for this time to be prepared for him before he comes, instead of repining at the accident; how lucky it was that Lesbia should hear of it, and that you were not at home when Phillabel came last Night, before she had give'n you notice, of it.  Lu. 
I shalll be little the better for it, I'm afraid.  Ly. 
Look you, Madam, take my advice; he's a Lover, and by consequence credulous; that will make him believe you enough to have a mind to examine me; and being jealous, he'll probably doubt you enough, to do it immediately that we mayn't have time to lay our Heads together, 'tis very likely he'll come directly from you, to look for me, than let me alone for the rest of the project. I engage to return him to you, the most Satisfied, humble thing, begging pardon, calling himself a jealous pated Coxcomb, and you the most innocent injured——  (Enter. a young Woman, Servant of Lucilias, niece to Lysetta. Wo. 
Madam, here's Phillabell coming up.  Ly. 
Dear Madam, will you follow my Directions?  Lu. 
Well, well, be go, I hear him.  Ly. 
Niece, come with me Hussy, I have business with you, quick quick.  (Ex. Ly. and Niece. Lu. 
I hate deceit, but sure 'tis of all others the most innocent to cheat a Man to a belief of truth. How my heart trembles? You seem disturbed, can there be any cause of Sadness on this day?  (Ex. Phil. 
Why, Madam, not on this?  Lu. 
Does Phillabell ask why! He who so often sworn this day would pay the Sum of all his Wishes.  Ph. 
Alas there's nothing Man so much deceives himself in, as the means to his own happiness; I thought to make you mine the certain way, but unless your Heart could be secured, all other ties is wretched Slavery.  Lu. 
That you need not doubt, for whom  laid aside my Virgin-Modesty, to confess I loved you.  Ph. 
You have told me so indeed, but are you sure the obedience of a Daughter had not swayed you against your Inclination?  Lu. 
Heaven can witness, that you are much lesle my Father's choice than mine.  Ph. 
Have a care, Madam, what you call Heaven to attest, and deal with me sincerely, for I an come as one that truly love's you, to offer you my Service, in whatever way can best conduce to make you happy.  Lu. 
Your Service! Can any thing in nature make me happy but your Love?  Ph. 
I would not have you made a Sacrifice, and if you fear t'offend your Father in refusing me, confess it generously, I'll take it upon me, seem to fall of, and whatever his Resentment may proceed to, I promise' you to bear it all, rather than expose you to it.  Lu. 
I don't know what you mean, this is strange Language to me.  Ph. 
Does this speak plain enough? (Gives her a Letter, and whilst she reads, says) so unmoved! She must be practised sure in falsehood.  Lu. 
What's the design of all this?  Ph. 
You best know that, Madam.  Lu. 
I know it! What to disguise your own Inconstancy, must you tax me with such baseness.  Ph. 
Why, you won't pretend to deny your own hand Writing, I hope.  Lu. 
My writing! Who dares say I written it?  Ph. 
OH Woman! Woman!  Lu. 
This is a Masterpiece of Villainy indeed!  Ph. 
I was not prepared for this turn, I confess; but who can reach the depths of Woman's artifice.  Lu. 
'Twill be enough to wrong my Love by your Infidelity, without this Forgery to injure my Reputation; this from a Man, whom I despised all others for!  Ph. 
I forge it! I have not the art of counterfeiting so well as you, Madam, but I may learn in time of so perfect a Mistress.  Lu. 
You have found a much better for your purpose, I assure you.  Ph. 
That would be a prodigy, indeed.  Lu. 
There's few can exceed my sweet Governess, who I don't doubt was employed in this Contrivance.  Ph. 
Employed, by whom? For what?  Lu. 
To sacrifice my Honour, for your base ends.  Ph. 
OH Madam, you need not distrust her, 'twas not she betrayed you, Fortune was my only Friend in this matter.  Lu. 
Indeed, I shall hardly take your word for it; perhaps you imagine I don't know her Skill in counterfeiting my Hand, though she might have told you I did.  Ph. 
Is't possible there can be a deceit in this? If my Reason would be as soon convinced as my fond Heart, I could not think her false one minute. Lysetta Sergeant her Hand, to what end? And yet I can see nothing of that confusion, or disorder in her Looks, which Gild, would naturally have, upon so unexpected a Discovery; what can resolve me in this Hell of Doubts?  Lu. 
So there's some hopes, it gins to work (apart) I see you are surprised, to found your Accomplice so soon suspected.  Ph. 
Madam, I thought you had known me too well to believe me capable of such a Villainy? If you are innocent, we are both abused.  Lu. 
I thought too my Virtue had been better known, and I will clear it, if my false Governess dare deny it, there may be ways to force the Truth from you, and her.  Ph. 
There may be ways too, Madam, to make her own, what ever you Please.  Lu. 
You may prevent that if you please, but I suppose you'll be loathe to loose so good a pretence for denying my Innocence, if I should make it appear.  Ph. 
OH could you look into my Heart Lucilia, it would tell you, that with the forfeiture of half my reason, I would believe you're wronged, so much I wish itl but though I should be easily convinced, yet for you sake, that there may be not room left for malice, I'll tax your Governess before you see her with this Forgery, as if I known it here's that perhaps may induce her to confess it.  Lu. 
You may do as you think fit.  Ph. 
Till than believe I suffer more than you; what different effects does Passionate Love produce!  

Fearful to loose, we quickly jealous grow.  
And wishing to be loved, soon think we're so.   (Ex. Lu. 
Now, if Lysetta play her part as well, who can condemn this harmless Artifice? the main points that I love Phillabell, and despire Cleon, are Truths, where than would be the Virtue or Wisdom, to let him know some disagreeable Circumstances, which would make us both really uneasy, though there were only an imaginary reason for it; but happy are those who have ru'ld their Lives, with so much prudence, that every action may appear bore faced; for to be forced to the lest disguise is some violence to an honest nature, and though 'tis not disused to injure others, 'tis a corruption, at lest a blemish to do Injury to itself; yet would the Men dissemble not otherwise with us, we could easily forgive 'em, but they were base Arts,  

All their past faults, with impudence reveal,  
And only those which they intent concel.   (Exit  

Scene changes to the Walks.  Enter Beaumine and Grandfoy. Gr. 
Thus, Sir, lest my Sword should fail to do her Justice, I have endeavoured to convince you know how little Lesbia has deserved such unhandsome Usage from you, and an ready to confirm the truth of what I have said with the hazard of my Life. We need to go not farther, Sir, this place is Private, and convenient.  Be. 
To give me Satisfaction, Sir, for you have done me such an injury.  Gr. 
I thought, Sir, what I have told you with so much frankness, and Lesbias' Letters, which you see, refusing the Offer I had made to Mary her, and mentioning on what account the Ring was given me, were proofs that we never Injured you.  Beau. 
Why, that's the mischief on't, you have convinced me she has been so Honourable, that I must be Married, the greatest misfortune you could have drawn me into, that I know of, indeed, Sir.  Gr. 
Than it seems you don't Love her, Sir.  Beau. 
Because I have not mind to marry her? Than not Man ever did Love, for not Man ever had, or can have a Mind absolutely to marry any Woman.  Gr. 
Why, has not many a Man married merely for Love?  Beau. 
Aye, Sir, and many a Man has taken a House he liked, with a considerable Fine upon it, because he known it would not be let otherwise, but I'll be hanged if any man had not rather have it without.  Gr. 
And be the more unwilling to pay it, after he has been long in Possession.  Beau. 
But rather than forfeit his Word, or his House, for I found there 〈◊〉 Love as well as Honour in the case.  Gr. 
Well, Sir, if you resolve to do her Justice upon any Motive, 'tis all that Lesbia can require of you; but since we both have a Claim to her, nothing but our Swords can decide it.  Bea. 
OH, yes, Sir, she can do it much better, for though it's true, Women are seldom favourable to Merit, we must own they are better Judges than the most Judicious Sword in Europe; the Advantage is, the Person she rejects, will be in a better condition than may be his chance if we fall to cutting of Throats.—— For him she chooses, I can't promise' it, indeed.  Gr. 
You talk very little like a Lover; I wish her Choice were placed where' 'two'd be Welcomer; but I prefer Lesbia's Satisfaction to my own and therefore an content to submit to her Sentence.  Beau. 
Wisely resolved, Sir, a Man of Honour, should not decline fight upon any reasonable occasion; but where it can answer the end—— If it be for Revenge, Stabbing a man is a very substantial one; but for a Mistress, how the Devil does my Sword know her inclinations? If it hap to dispatch the man she likes, I an sure to be hated the more for it; if a man she dislikes, there was not danger in him; so it can never be to any purpose. Come, Sir, let us try other means, Capitulate with the Lady,  

Women by force of Arms can never be wone,  
Unless the Guards within, betray the Town.  
Sound a parley, you Fair, and Surrender.   (Exit. Singing with  

SCENE the 3d. Lesbia's Lodgings.  Enter Lesbia and Lucilia. Lu. 
You see how dear this foolish Gallantry had like to have cost me, if your timely notice had not put me upon my Guard.  Les. 
This comes of being so hasty to run into an Amour, before the Heart engages, we must retreat, and know not how to do it with Honour; but when Love leads us on, how ever dangerous the consequences are it makes 'em easy to us.  Lu. 
But 'tis indeed a strange folly so hazard our Reputation, only for the vanity of securing a Conquest, the Prize is so little worth, in respect of the Venture.  Les. 
What think you of the contrary fault, affectig an indifference, for those we really love?  Lu. 
That's as much a greater folly, as our own happiness is of more consequence to us, than other People's Opinion.  Les. 
How blind we are to our own faults! Now don't you see that what you have been condemning, you are at this instant guilty of, flying Phillabel, when you most wish to meet him; and seeming angry with him, when you know he's in the right.  Les. 
But 'twould not be wise to know it, as our Affairs stand, and I have ordered Lysetta to tell Phillabel I an at your Lodgings, if he comes here I can't avoid him, and so give him an opportunity of reconciling himself, without seeming to desire it.  Bon. 
I'll engage Madam, he'll come, I'm sure I said enough in your defence, to satisfy any reasonable Man  Les. 
Not doubt, a little harmless Artifice is sometimes necessary, and for a young Beginner, you have preformed pretty well, but Lysetta's Part was managed with wondered dexterity.  Lu. 
The Design indeed was cunningly laid, and happily effected.  Les. 
Hold; is not that Phillabel's Voice below?  (Enter Phil. and Lu. 
I think it is, now for my last Deceit, Madam, I'll take my leave of you/  Les. 
Nay, now indeed you shan't.  Ph. 
Be so just to hear what I have to say, before you condemn me, Madam.  Lu. 
I have herded you say too much.  Bon 
Now what can she be angry at?  Ph. 
But here Lysetta, Madam, come, you must speak the truth.  Lys. 
I beg your Pardon, Madam, I did not think any harm would come on't, but truly I did writ some Letters in your Name to Cleon; indeed I did not intent to do you any injury by it.  Lu. 
Not injury! What else could induce you to it? Who set you on?  Ly. 
Not body set me on, but Cleon taken care to pay me so well for deceiving him, that I thought it worth my pains.  Lu. 
It seems Phillabel, you have great Power with her, to make her confess all this.  Bo. 
What is she Jealous of her?—— O, Madam, there's nothing in that but Money too; he has only given her Money enough, take my word for it.  Lu. 
So I imagine, Sir.  Bo. 
Psha, you think 'twas upon some slippery account now, but 'twas only to make her own this Cheat, I can answer for him.  Ph. 
Prithee give me leave to vindicate myself, Bonsot.  Bo. 
With all my heart Sir, now I have satisfied her as to the main point.  Les. 
Aye, like all the other Universal Friends, commanding every one alike, their Praises always injure.  Ph. 
I taken her in the very fact, Madam, my good Genius led me thither just as she was writing, and so intent upon her Treachery, I came into the Chamber unperceiv's, herded her, admiring with her Niece her Skill in counterfeiting your hand so perfectly; when I had herded enough, I snatched the Paper, which was to the same effect of that I showed you, it having miscarried, she was writing it again, which left her not room to deny her guilt, nor me to doubt your innocence.  Lu. 
'Twas happy, since it proves a means of putting an end to this Cheat, and gives us power to punish the Author of it, which she shall found severely.  Ph. 
But first, Lucilia, let us think of our own happiness, that not new chance may cross it.  Lu. 
'Tis not enough that you believe me innocent, since Cleon, and perhaps by his Vanity, many others suspect me of infidelity, I must not let you share in my dishonour.  Bo. 
Why, Madam, 'twill make your part the lesle.  Ly. 
If I might hope for pardon of my fault, by making some kind of reparation, I would tell Cleon, how I have all this while abused him.  Bo. 
And let me alone to appease him, I'll tell him 'tis all but a shame, to a certain purpose.  Lu. 
I hope he knows his Brother well enough, to esteem what he says as it deserves.  Les. 
Upon those terms I must become her Intercessor.  Ph. 
And I have reason to join with you.  Lu. 
You have too much power with me to be refused any thing you desire.  Ph. 
Than you are mine again, at your Feet receive my thanks, and let this hand give me Possession.  (as he knelt, Beau. Grand. 
 and Cleon, enter. Bo. 
See now how good Griends I have made you, and here comes my Cousin, and Beau. together, I thought I had made up matters between them too.  Beau. 
So. this is th' way on't, when the Women have played us false, we must submit, and beg pardon, for having the impudence to see it.  Ph. 
O, Beaumine, my Lucilia's innocent.  Beau. 
Aye, aye; so they are all, if they have but cunning enough.  Ph. 
thou'rt a mere Infidel.  Beau. 
Not faith, Phill. not offence to thee. I'm even as credulous a Coxcomb as thyself; prithee don't laugh at me, there are two evils you know that go by destiny.  Ph. 
Of which I should lest expect Marriage to be thy, indeed.  Gr. 
My Cousin Cleon, Madam, met us as we were coming hither, and would needs have me bring him to wait on you.  Les. 
Being your Relation, he must be welcome to me, but I'm sorry it happens at a time when things are in sucjs a posture, that I cannot be so easy, so much at liberty as I should, to be entertained by so extraordinary a Person.  Cle. 
That is, she would be alone with me, (apart) OH, Madam, I shall found a happier opportunity, but since I cannot enjoy it now, I'm extremely pleased to meet such good Company here, I have a great respect for these Lovers, and wish you Joy with all my heart, upon my words, Sir.  Ph. 
OH, I thank you, Sir, but must desire another favour of you; you received some Letters in this Lady's Name, which I expect you should return.  Cle. 
In that Lady's Name, Sir? Than it seems she is not ashamed of her Name, that she has told you where to found it;—— I protest, I resolved to conceal 'em, but if you have a mind to have 'em published, Madam, I can put 'em in the Press, they will be a very extraordinary Epithalamium.  Lu. 
Sir, you have been deceived, those Letters never expressed my Thoughts.  Cle. 
Very probable, Woman's words seldom express their Thoughts, I did not doubt but you had more kindness for me, than they expressed.  Ly. 
Ah, Sir, my Lady never thought one word of what was written, 'twas all of my contrivance; I confess, Sir, I was loathe to let you despair.  Bo. 
Hark you, Brother, this is only a Plot to make you part with your Mistress the more easily; but don't you seem to know it, and yet doubt be angry neither.  Cl. 
But seem as good natured a Fool as you; Brother, you had the best contrivance last Night in the Walks to keep me from despair—— but not one word of your Lady's Thoughts.  Lu. 
I'll be sworn I spoken truth, but abusing a Man, is complementing him, when Vanity's the Interpreter.  Ly. 
Well, Sir, since the deceit is discovered, I suppose you won't think my Letters worth keeping.  Cl. 
Her Letters—— Madam lafoy Governante, when you grant me the favour, I desire it may be in the same shape, you made me the promise in last Nighit.  Ly. 
Aye, aye, Sir, this shape is only put on, that we may keep it with the more security.  Cl. 
OH, I apprehended.  Ph. 
I hope, Sir, you believe Lucilia had not had in deceiving you?  Cl. 
Pasitively, I assure you, Sir.  Ph. 
And be so ungenerous to refuse the Letters.  Cl. 
Sir, I hap to have 'em all about me; I had some thoughts you might have a curiosity to know how well she could writ before you Married her, they're at your service, Sir, if you please to peruse' 'em.  (gives the Letters. Ph. 
I have not the curiosity indeed, Sir; here Lysetta.  (gives 'em her. Cl. 
The best bread Husband in the World, rat me.  Bo. 
I told you I should satisfy him, Sir; now you must know he thinks the Letters were Lucilia's, for all this.  Ph. 
Does he so, Sir, I shall found a way than, to convince him they are not.  Bo. 
Hay, why are you angry at that? Nay, rather than you should quarrel, I'll tell him myself, that she only ordered Lysetta to writ' 'em.  Ph. 
What you say is of so little consequence, I care not what you tell him.  Bo. 
Aye, aye; this is always my reward; but for all that, I shall never give over——  Ph. 
Being impertinent, I dare engage for thee; 'tis the happiest, though the most incurable Distemper a Man can have, and both for the same reason, he can never be made sensible of it.  Beau. 
Among the many interposers in Affairs, they have nothing to do with, who, when they laugh at this officious Medler, will consider him as their own Picture?  Lu. 
Well, I an happily come of, but through such dangers, such anxieties, as might warn all our Sex against those little Gallantries, with which they only think to amuse themselves; but though innocent, too often gain 'em such a Character of Lightness, as their future Conduct never can efface; nay, though I have succeeded better, I found within, all is not as it should be, a secret check, that so entire a confidence as Phillabel has in me, is not returned with that plain, open, artless dealing it deserves; that will be the lasting punishment of my childish fault.  Les. 
Grandfoy tells me, Beau. you will both submit to my choice between you.  Beau. 
So we agreed, Madam; I'm impatient to know which blessing I must loose you, or my liberty.  (Enter Con. and Les. 
Miranda! and Married I'll engage, by that affected gravity.  Lu. 
Miranda Married at last!  Mir. 
Aye, you may give him Joy; for 'tis the first Day of his Reign.  Con. 
Of my happiness indeed, but 'twould be ungrateful to use it to the prejudice of your Power, from whom I have received it.  Mir. 
I beginto be terribly afraid, I shall certainly love you, and you have loved me so fast, you must be near the end of the Race, before I an set out.  Con. 
O! 'tis an endless Race; endeavour but to overtake me.  Beau. 
This is a dreadful Omen to me, Madam; there was so much Sympathy between us, I'm afraid it reaches to our Destinies too.  Mir. 
Do the Planets incline to Conjunction than? I could not forbear coming to inquire how your Affairs went?  Beau 
Very ill indeed, Madam; there is but a Woman's inclinations betwixt me and Ruin, which would certainly give her to that Gentleman, if I were as fond of Marrying her, as he is; but your Sex's Darling, Contradiction, I fear will carry it.  Mir. 
What, Lesbia in profound Meditation?  Les. 
Advice me, Miranda; I'm a little puzzled in this Affair.  Mir. 
Divided betwixt Love and Honour?  Bo. 
Now I advice you, Madam, in this Case.  Les. 
What, without knowing it?  Bo. 
Let it be what it will, I an never of Honour's side, it's good for nothing but to make People uneasy, and I would have every body please themselves, whether they can, or no.  Les. 
You must teach 'em the Art than—— But prithee should I, out of a foolish scruple, tie myself to Beau. when we are weary of one another;  Mir. 
Or lay the Yoke upon a fresh Lover, that will hold out longer.  Les. 
And bear it easier; how shall I resolve? I think they had best throw Dice for me.  Mir. 
Even put it to the Vote.  Les. 
With all my heart.  Mir. 
What say you, Gentlemen? Lesbia is so unwilling to disoblige either of you, she's resolved to be his, that has most Voices for him.  Beau. 
What she pleases.  Cr. 
I shall never dispute her william  Cl. 
This is extremely new; but I don't know why it should not be brought into a Custom to Mary, as well as to Divorce by Vote; unless indeed, that getting rid of our Wives, will be more for the general good.  Mir. 
Well, sir, which are you for?  Cl. 
Since there is so good a Relief, for him that will soon be weary of her.  Gr. 
That I grant, is on Beaumine's side.  Mir. 
What say you, Constant?  Con. 
I an for him that love's her best.  Gr. 
That favours me.  Bon. 
I an for him that won't quarrel with her.  Beau. 
That's likely to be me, for I shall be lest with her.  Lu. 
I an for him that can pled most right in her.  Beau. 
Ah the Devil! that's me again.  Ph. 
I an for him that she love's best.  Mir. 
And I for him that she love's lest.  Beau. 
That has undone me; 'twas pure Malice, Miranda.  Les. 
The odds are on Beaumine's side, whether I declare I love him least, or best, there's a Vote for him; his right is indisputable, he says he shan't quarrel with me, and he's weary of me already; so there can be but two against him.  Beau. 
You'll found hereafter there were more; my late suspicion of you gave me such disquiets, as showed me how dear you are to me, and the proofs of your innocence confirm my Love, with my Esteem.  Les. 
Which to preserve, and for all our quiets, I propose that for the future, Grandfoy, be a Stranger to us.  Bon. 
Oh! that's cruel—— Sir, my Cousin has a great kindness for you, and your Lady, I'll engage he'll do her not harm.  Beau. 
O, not Sir.  Gr. 
I must submit, but may have still, I hope, some pretence to your Friendship.  Beau. 
You have deserved it Sir, and are welcome to share with us this Days Diversions.  Con. 
I have ordered some Music, with your leave, Madam, we'll employ' 'em.  After a Dance. Ph. 
'Tis time now to think upon the ceremony that yet remains to make us Master of our wishes.  Beau. 
Which perform's, I resolve to show those Married Men, whom I have laughed out of the fondness, or civility, for their Wives, that I I have learned by their weakness, how to avoid giving 'em a Revenge, and will so shamelessly boast of loving mine, that 'twill put raillery out of countenance; and by preserving my complaisance for her, show I know how to value myself.  

For treating them with rudeness, or neglect,  
Does most dishonour, on ourselves reflect;  
If that respect which their own Merit drawn,  
We think, by their becoming ours, lesle due:  
And as in choosing, we their worth approve,  
We tax our Judgement, when we cease to love.    

FINIS.  
Æ