b'PS 3319 \n.m M9 \nCopy 1 \n\n\n\n/km \n\n\n\nFRE:NrCH\'S \n\nNO 99. \n\n\n\nMY WIFE\'S MIRROR: \n\nA \n\nCOMEDY, IN ONE ACT, \' ^ \n\nBY \n\nED. G. P. WILKIN g. \n\n\n\nWith Cast of Characters. Stage Bvsiness, Costumes. Relative \nPosition.s, etc. etc. \n\n\n\nAS PERFORMED AT THF PRINCIPAL THKATRKS. \n\n\n\nPRICE. \n\n\n\nNEW-YORK : \nSAMUEL FRENCH, \n\n121 IVASSAL\'-STRFET. \n\n\n\nVii CEMS. \n\n\n\nFRENCH\'S \n\nJ \n\nCjjc Slctina EOitfon. \nNo. XCIX. \n\n\n\n-=\xe2\x99\xa6\xe2\x96\xa0?= \n\n\n\nMY \n\n\n\nWIFE\'S MIRIiOR: \n\n\n\n\xe2\x82\xacc \n\n\n\n^ COMEDY, IN ONE ACT. \n\n\n\nB Y ED. G. P. W I L K I N S. \n\n\n\nTO \xe2\x96\xa0WHICH ARE ADDED, \n\n\n\nA Description of tho Costume \xe2\x80\x94 Cast of the Characters \xe2\x80\x94 Entrances and Kxit\xc2\xbb \n\nRelative Positions of the Performers on the Stage, and the whole of the \n\nStage Business. \n\nAS FIRST PERFORMED AT LAURA KEENE\'s VARIETIES, N. T. \n\n\n\nNEW- YORK : \nSAMUEL FRENCH, \n\n121 NASSAU-STREET. \n\n\n\n\n\n\nCCast of t})e ffijjaractets,\xe2\x80\x94 (My Wife\'s Mirror.) \nLaura Kecne\'s Varieties, N. Y. 1856. , Cincinnati, June, 1856. \n\n\n\nMr. JR. Racket, Mr. Geo. Jordan. \nMr. Pax Peaceable, T.B. Johnson. \nMr. Vingt-un, Howard. \n\nJohn, Mrs. 7"s serv\'t. Carpenter. \nMrs. Jt. Racket, Miss Laura Keene. \nMrs. Torpedo, relict \\ \n\nof the late Culcmel 1 \n\nTorpedo, nfthe 1st j \n\nUtah Dragoons, J \n\nMiss Kate Reignolds. \nMary, - Miss McDonough. \n\n\n\nMr. Racket, Mr. Mortimer. \n\nMr. Pax Peaceable, Tannyhill. \n\ni)frs. Racket, Mrs. I. C. Frost. \n\nMrs. lorpedo, Mrs. "VV. H. Leighton. \n\n\n\n(Jtostumcs.\xe2\x80\x94 (My "Wife\'s Mirroe.) \nMR. RACKET. \xe2\x80\x94 Fust, Morning dress. Second, Promenade. >y \nMR. PEACEABLE.\xe2\x80\x94 Black suit, white cravat, no beard. * . \'^ \' \nMRS. RACKET. \xe2\x80\x94 First, Morning dress. Second, promenade. \nMRS. TORPEDO.\xe2\x80\x94 Modern. \n\n\n\nManagers are notified, that b}\' provisions of the Act of Con- \ngress, approved August 18, T856, they are liable to a penalty of not less \nthan SlOO per night, should they play this piece without permission of \nthe author. \n\n\n\nSTAGE DIRECTIONS. \n\n\n\nEXITS AND ENTRANCES. \n\nL. means First Entrance, Left. R. First Entrance, Right. S. E. L. \nSecond Entrance, Left. S. E. R. Second Entrance, Risrht. V. E. L. \nUpper Entrance, Lef\'. U. E. R. Upper Entrance, Risht. (1 Centre. \nL. C. Left of Centre R. C. R^cht of Centre. T. E. L " Third Entrance, \nLeft. T. E. R. Thrd Entrance, Right. C. D. Centre Door. D. R. \nDoor Risht. D. L. Door Left. U. D. L. Upper Door, Left. U. D. R. \nUpper Door, Right, \n\n*\xc2\xbb* The Reader is supposed to he on the Stage, facing the Audience. \n\n\n\nMY WIFE\'S MIRROR. \n\n\n\nSCENE I. \xe2\x80\x94 A Breakfast Room, tcith Garden beyond. In addition to \nthe usual furniture, there should he a practicable Book Case, r., a Table, \nwith breakfast ready set, l., and two Lounges, R. and t., with Work-table \nin c, covered with books, a China or plaster vase ; practicable fire-place. \n\nEnter Racket, c. d. \n\nHac. I\'m ferociously hungry. I wonder why the d \xe2\x80\x94 1 Mrs. R. does \nnot appear. [Looks at his watch.] Half past eight ! Ah ! there was a \ntime when you didn\'t breakfast at nine o\'clock, Mr. Racket I \xe2\x80\x94 Great \ntimes those, my boy. Club, frequently; station-house, sometimes; no \n\nend of whist and whiskey, and well, that\'s all over Sic transit. \n\nHere I am, five days married to the loveliest of women ; 1 positively \nadore her I \xe2\x80\x94 so ethcrial \xe2\x80\x94 a sort of crinoline angel. She does come it \nrather strong on Longfellow. Good gracious, how hungry I am \xe2\x80\x94 won- \nder if she thinks I can breakfast on trochaics \xe2\x80\x94 I prefer chops. \n\nEnter Mrs. R.^cket, a \n\nMrs. Rac. [Steals behind Racket, leans on his shoulder, looking i7i his \nface.] I my love, you are the most faultless of men. \n\nRar. [Twirling his moustache.] Flatterer ! [-4\xc2\xabjtie.] I wish I had my \nbreakfast. \n\nMrs. Rac. No, my adored one, I do not flatter. I see you as you \nreally are \xe2\x80\x94 of perfect goodness \xe2\x80\x94 handsome as Apollo \xe2\x80\x94 chaste as Ado- \nnis \xe2\x80\x94 a mind of angelic sweetness \xe2\x80\x94 virtuous as a sermon \xe2\x80\x94 poetic as the \neditor of the Home Journal \xe2\x80\x94 etherial as \n\nEnter Mary, c. \n\nMary. Breakfast, madam. \n\nRac. Thank Heaven I \n\nMrs. Rac. Disgusting interruption! Serve it. [They sit at the break- \nfast table ; Racket, l.. attemptingr, but irithout success, to cojiceal his \nenormous appetite, and Mrs. R. looking at him rvith wonder and alarm.] \nWas not that literary soiree of the Dusenbery\'s a splendid aifairl How \nyou enjoyed it! \n\nRac. Yes \xe2\x80\x94 delicious \xe2\x80\x94 splendid \xe2\x80\x94 so intellectual. [A.^ide.] The moat \nvillanous apology for supper that I ever saw. Coffee, if you please! \n\nMrs. Rac. I had such a splendid chat with that beautiful Graphnap- \nkinzen. \n\n\n\n4 MT WIFKS MIRROR. \n\nRac. Grab what 1 \n\nMrs. Rac. Not Grab \xe2\x80\x94 Graph \xe2\x80\x94 Graphknapkinzen \xe2\x80\x94 formerly editor \nof the \n\nRac. Have another chop 1 \n\nMrs. Rac. No, thank you \xe2\x80\x94 editor of the Slykinhabgerbatz Dcmokrat. \nHe was exiled for his \n\nRac. Awful butchery. \n\nMrs. Rac. What \\ \n\nRac. Oh ! I meant the chops ! \n\nMrs. Rac. Exiled for his attachment to the popular cause, and now \nhe seeks in a foreign land \n\nRac. [To Mary.] Spoons ! \n\nMrs. Rac. Seeks in a foreign land that repose beneath the tree of lib- \nerty which was denied him in his own \xe2\x80\x94 and where he hopes to \ntaste \n\nRack. Sausages! \n\nMrs. Rac. Don\'t you like the German type of character, my dear! \n\nRac. Infinitely, rny dear. [.4s?(ie.] I can\'t read a word of it. \n\nMrs. Rac. If there had been no Germany we should have had no \nGoethe. \n\nRac. No lager bier. \n\nMrs. Rac. No Sorrows of Werter. \n\nRac. No Liniburg cheese. \n\nMrs. Rac. No Carl Von Weber, i \n\nRac. No Max Maretzek. \n\nMrs Rac. No Beethoven. \n\nRac. No symphonies in XX Minor. \n\n3Irs. Rac. No sonatas in G. \n\nRac. No Gottschalk. \n\nMrs. Rac. No soirees \xe2\x80\x94 no matinees. \n\nRac. No hand organs. \n\nMrs. Rac. Where they play such delicious things \xe2\x80\x94 so dreamy. \n\nRac. [Aside.\'\\ Yes ! I always go to sleep. \n\nMrs. Rac. So metaphysical that no one can understand what they \nmean. \n\nRac. That is a recommendation, my love. \n\nl_They come down. Mrs. R. takes a book from the table, and sits \nreading on lounge, r. ; Ma. Racket takes the Art of Cookery \nslyly out of his pocket, and commences reading also. \n\nMrs. Rac. [Raisins^ her head.\'] What are you reading, my love 1 \n\nRac. [Reading.] Ah! yes \xe2\x80\x94 what am I reading\'? [Confused.] Well \n\nit is \xe2\x80\x94 that is, it isn\'t [Aside.] What the d \xe2\x80\x94 1 shall I say 1 Don\'t \n\nyou know what my favorite authors are 1 \n\nMrs. Rac. It is a volume of poems \xe2\x80\x94 Longfellow or Walt Whit- \nman 1 \n\nRac. Longfellow. What a stunner ! [Aside. \n\nMrs Rac. I thought so ! You choose the delicate, heavenly aspira- \ntions of the American Tennyson \xe2\x80\x94 the sweet bard of fancy \xe2\x80\x94 because his \ninspired mind claims kindred with your own. How deliciously you \nused to read poetry. Read for me a little of Endymion. You will\xe2\x80\x94 \n\n\n\nMT WIFE S MIRROR. 5 \n\nwill you ? It will remind me of those happy hours when I met you \nfirst ; when we paced the breezy colonnades at Long Branch together, \nand drank in the incense \n\nHac. Of bad cigars. [Asid*. \n\nMrs. Jiac. Read, my love. \n\nHac. [Aside.] Here goes for a coup d\'etat. I think we had better \ntake a walk. [Conceals the book in his jiocket. \n\nMrs. Rac. Oh no ! I insist upon the reading. \n\nRack. \\_Asidc.] What am I to do \\ \xe2\x80\x94 when one has been married only \na week, one must obey. My love, I\'ve lost the book. \n\nMrs. Rack. Oh, no. you\'ve not \xe2\x80\x94 you put it in your pocket. \n\nRack. [Aside] Well, if I must \xe2\x80\x94 necessitat, and so forth \xe2\x80\x94 I think \nI remember a bit of Endymion. [Opens the book and pretends to read. \n\nThe rising moon has hid the stars, \nHer level rays, like golden bars, \nLie on the landscape green \nWith shadows brown between, \nAnd silver-white the river gleams. \nAs if Diana \xe2\x80\x94 Diana \xe2\x80\x94 Di \xe2\x80\x94 Di \xe2\x80\x94 \n\n\'\xe2\x80\x94[Aside.] Dem, di\'s! [Closes look.] Excuse me, my love, I\'m a little \nhoarse. \n\nMrs. Rac. Oh, no ; your voice is so pure, so tender \xe2\x80\x94 it is absolutely \ntearful ! \n\nRac. As if Diana \xe2\x80\x94 Diana \xe2\x80\x94 [aspens book very much confused] \xe2\x80\x94 to make \nbeef-steaks with mushroom sauce ! \n\nMrs. Rac. [Running to him and snatching the book from his hands.} \nWhat are you reading ] \n\nRac. What a fool I was ! \n\n3frs. Rac. Good gracious ! \xe2\x80\x94 oh, dear ! \xe2\x80\x94 it is the Cookery Book ! \n\nRac. [With expression.] Yes, ma petite bijou, it is the Cookery \nBook, the most useful as well as the most entertaining of publications. \nAfter all, my love, marriage is only a community of defects : we sit \ndown to cat the dinner of life together \xe2\x80\x94 j\'ou take the etherials and I \ntake the solids \xe2\x80\x94 you send me the venison-steaks, and I will allow you \nto feed continually on Charlotte of Russia. I avow it, I am a gour- \nmand \xe2\x80\x94 ynu worship Longfellow, I adore Delmonico. \n\nMrs. Rac. [Sorroufully.] But you may cure yourself. Try a fash- \nionable hotel by the sea-shore, where you get nothing to eat, and the \nwater-cure. \n\nRcic. No, it is too late ; and since you know my taste, I will go to \nyour cook and give her my favorite receipts ; you, too, will please me \nby informing yuurself, so that you may give her orders, and when we \nare alone, instead of eternally discussing Goethe and Longfellow, wo \nwill pass in review the works of Ude and Soyer and the mighty mas- \nters of the culinary art. Farewell ; I will go and order a dinner to my \ntaste. [Exit (c), reading book. \n\nMrs. Rac. [Sobbing \xe2\x80\x94 sealed c] Oh, how miserable 1 am I This is \nmy poetic husband I \xe2\x80\x94 my angel ! \xe2\x80\x94 my divine perfection of a man !\xe2\x80\x94 \n\n\n\n6 MY wife\'s mirror. \n\noh, what\'s this 1 [ Takes up book from lounge she has been reading, and \nreads aloud.] " The Legend of the Devil\'s Mirror. Beelzebub had not \nyet left the paternal roof, when one day a celebrated tourist arrived in \nthe lower regions, and, with his grand accounts of foreign parts, in- \nspired Beelzebub with the idea of travelling. He set out upon the \nsubterraneous railroad and naturally visited New York, where some of \nhis family had high places in the city government. He directed his \nsteps towards the Park to pay his respects to Satan, who lived in a \nlarge building with a marble facade called the City Hall. As he walked \nalong Broadway, all the New Yorkers laughed. He was surprised and \nirritated. Beelzebub thought himself an Adonis ! He had never \nlooked in a mirror, but his cousin Ashtaroth took him to a shop where \nlooking-glasses were sold. Beelzebub uttered a cry of horror ; the \nmirror reproduced exactly all his imperfections ! \xe2\x80\x94 his flaming, diaboli- \ncal glances, and his frightful red beard. Beelzebub softened the fire of \nhis eyes, put his beard into the hands of Phalon, became elegant, wore \ntight trousers, and was admitted into the best society, and cultivated by \nBrown. The defects shown to him by his faithful mirror, needed only \nto be seen to be corrected." Well, that gives me an idea ; I will be \nmy husband\'s mirror. I will copy his defects exactly in order to cor- \nrect them. I will be the devil\'s mirror ! La Bruyere says that the \nheart of a woman is like a mirror, receiving an impression from every \nobject, but retaining none. I\'ll make his sarcasm a fact. \n\nEnter Me. Racket (c). \xe2\x80\x94 Mrs Racket runs up to hm smiling. \n\nMrs. Rac. Well, mon ami, have you ordered an artistic repast 1 \n\nRae. [Surprised.] How does that interest you ? \n\nMrs. Rac. How ! Did you not say that marriage was only a com- \nmunity of defects ! Well, I am somewhat of an epicure. \n\nRac. [Disgusted.\'] Bah ! you who are so spirituelle \xe2\x80\x94 so poetic \xe2\x80\x94 so \ncharming \xe2\x80\x94 [gaihj] \xe2\x80\x94 for I own, without flattery, I could not have found \na more delightful little wife. \n\nMrs. Rack. Have you ordered a large eel pie 1 \n\nRac. [Tenderly.] My dear Susan, I desire to speak seriously ; to you \nI have devoted my life \n\n3Irs Rac. And baked potatoes 1 \n\nRac. [l. Impatiently ] Let the dinner go to the d \xe2\x80\x94 1. I w=is telling \nyou [tenderlyl that to you I had devoted a life of eternal tenderness. I \nshall never forget our first interview \xe2\x80\x94 it is a memory full of enchant- \nment and sweetness \n\nMrs. Rac. (r) With butter sauce 1 \n\nRac. [Irritated.] Why pour butter sauce over our love ? It seems \nto me [reproachfully] that you no longer love me, and I relied so much \non your aflection ! But it is mine for life \xe2\x80\x94 for life, is it not ^ By \nlittle attentions, I hope to preserve it always. \n\nMrs. Rac. Like hermetically sealed lobsters. Apropos of lobsters, \nI saw some in Centre Market, yesterday. Can\'t we have some salad \nfor dinner 1 \n\nRac. This is disgusting. \n\nMary passes c. d. with dish. \n\n\n\nUT wife\'s mirror. 7 \n\nMrs. Jiac. [Jvmping up and running to Mary \xe2\x80\x94 retnrns with a large \npiece of pie, vhich she eats voranousli/ \xe2\x80\x94 to Mr. Racket.] You were \n8;iying [iiioufh full] some-something about our al-i\'cclion. \xe2\x80\x94 Oh, how \nnice this pie is ! \n\nRac. [ 117*0 /las been striding about the roojn bursting with rage.] \nStop, madam ! It is my duty to tell you the truth ! You are, madam, \nfriglitfuliy ujjly when you talk in that manner, with your mouth full. \n\nMrs. Jiac. [Affecting to sob, but laughing behind the pie.] This is \nthe first time you have ever reproved me \xe2\x80\x94 you\'re a brute \xe2\x80\x94 you\'ve made \n3\'our wife\'s pie wet with your wife\'s tears, and it don\'t taste good \xe2\x80\x94 \nyou\'re a monster \xe2\x80\x94 that\'s what you are. I never knew you to scold me \nbefore. \n\nRac. [Coldh/.] I never knew of your defect before. \n\nMrs. Rac. It is not a defect \xe2\x80\x94 it is only an infirmity \xe2\x80\x94 we all have \nthem. I have a voracious appetite. \n\nRac. But, madam, I like only slender and delicate women. Horrible \nthought \xe2\x80\x94 you will \\)ecomc fat I \n\nMrs. Rue. But I will if I choose. \n\nRac. [Threatening.] Then we will be two. I never can live with a \nfat woman ; bah ! \n\nMrs Rac. I have a right to become as fat as I like. The Code does \nnot forbid it : it is not a legal ground for divorce. Ask O\'Gonor ! \n\nJiac. Come, my dear Susan, listen to me. It would be cruel to have \nthis disenchantment bc;!iin only a week after marriage. If you desire \nto please me. 3-00 will avoid tills per[)elual conversation about cooking, \nand you will cure yourself of gluttony ; it is a vulvar, repulsive, dis- \ngraceful defect, which drove Adam and Eve out of their paradise, and \nwill drive us out of ours ! \n\nMrs. Rac Indeed! But you cultivate this sin. However, if it dis- \npleases you, I will promise to correct it ; but be careful not to set me \nthe example. If you read the cookery book. I shall have a relapse, \nand that is always more serious than the first attack. \n\nRac. Ah! that terrible volume ! [Takes up book.] See! here I con- \nsign it to the flames ! [Throws it in the fireplace. \xe2\x80\x94 They embrace \xe2\x80\x94 \nGrand tableau of reconciliation. \nEnter Mary tcith letters \xe2\x80\x94 Gives one to Mrs. Racket, and one to Mr. \n\nRacket, who goes R. and reads. [Exit Mary. \n\nRac. [Reads.] \n\n" Sir, \xe2\x80\x94 I accept the verbal challenge, given by you, yesterday, and \n" my friend, SnilV Kin, of the 3G9th Regiment, New York State Mi- \n" litia. will meet any friend of yours, and arrange preliminaries, pre- \n" paratory to my doing myself I he honor of blowing out your brains. \n\n" In the words of Marcy to Palmerston, receive the assurances of my \n\xe2\x80\xa2\' distinguished con.sideration. \n\n" Pax Peaceable. \n" The Uxion Ct.uB, ) \nMonday Morning.\'\'\'\' ) \n\nRac. So here\'s something I do like \xe2\x80\x94 I\'ll go at once. Here, boots, \ncoat, every thing. [Embraces Mrs. R. and runs out. \n\n\n\n8 MT WIFE S MIRROR, \n\nMrs. Roc. [Heading at the same time \xe2\x80\x94 Exits to be nearly simulta- \nneous.^ \n\n" General Order No. 1. \n\n" My Dear, \xe2\x80\x94 Are you under arrest, and obliged to stay at home 1 I \n\'* hope you are not kept in Barracks by your husband. I think the \n" wife should command the post. But come and see me. Bring your \n" heart, and your crotchet-work \xe2\x80\x94 no ceremony ! fatigue dress. AH I \n" ask is, when I pass you in review, let your friendship be strong \n" enough to defy the closest inspection. Come at Two and you shall \n" see the Seventh Regiment, the elite corps of our beautiful garrison \n*\' of New York, parade. (Signed) \n\n" Alexandrina Torpedo." \n\nMrs.Rac. Here, Marianne, my cloak and hat, it\'s nearly two \xe2\x80\x94 order \nthe carriage \xe2\x80\x94 no, I\'ll take the stage. [Exit. \n\nSCENE \\l.\xe2\x80\x94 Boudoir of Mrs. Torpedo. \n\nEnter Mas. Torpedo, r., hummini>: the Ralapla, music in the Daugh- \nter of the Regiment, and imitating drum beat, a la Alboni. \n\nMrs. Torpedo. Bravo ! Splendid company that Light Guard ! What \nwould Broadway be without Dodworth, and the Twelfth Regiment? I \nshould like to kiss them all, especially the Pioneers. I like to cultivate \na taste for the militia. It preserves the public peace, and makes Broad- \nway look pretty \xe2\x80\x94 sets up target companies, encourages the plated cake- \nbasket trade, and is the best school of the soldier \xe2\x80\x94 not that the cavalry is \nequal to the Utah dragoons, when we commanded them. Oh, those \nwere jolly times. \n\nEnter John, giving military salute, and card. \n\nMrs. Tor. Ah ! It\'s that Pax ! [To John] Let him approach \xe2\x80\x94 right \nabout face, march ! I think I\'ll have to marry that man. \n\nEnter Pax, hurriedly \xe2\x80\x94 Dropshat and cane. \n\nPaz. [Diffidently, but not stuttering.\'] I \xe2\x80\x94 I \xe2\x80\x94 I\'ve d \xe2\x80\x94 d \xe2\x80\x94 done it ! \nMrs. Tor. You\'ve done it. What 1 \nPax. (l.) Oh, I\'ve cha \xe2\x80\x94 ch \xe2\x80\x94 ch \xe2\x80\x94 challenged \xe2\x80\x94 h \xe2\x80\x94 him ! \nMrs. Tor. Oh ! yes ; that little affair in Broadway, yesterday. \nWell, you\'ll kill him, of course, and then we\'ll be off to Canada. \nPax. Y \xe2\x80\x94 y \xe2\x80\x94 yes ; but \xe2\x80\x94 but \xe2\x80\x94 \n\nEnter Mrs. Racket, l. \xe2\x80\x94 Runs up to Mrs. Torpedo, a7id embraces her \n\nviolently. \n\nMrs. Tor. There! Recover! [Holds her out at arm\'s length."] Stand \nat ease. [Looks at her watch.] Five minutes past two; you will con- \nsider yourself under arrest. Well, how\'s the husband ! \n\nMrs. Rack, (r ) O, beautiful \xe2\x80\x94 such a dear ! Such \n\nMrs. Tor. (l.) Ah ! you\'ve been married only a week, that\'s plain \nenough ; but you will allow me, my child, to continue my examination \nof a subject in which I take a profound interest. This gentleman has \n\n\n\nMY wife\'s mirror. 9 \n\njust confessed to rae that he has an affair of honor. He knows that \nthese things charm me. When one has commanded the Utah dragoons, \none may espouse, for the second time, a man who is willing to prove \nhis courage on the field of honor. \n\nMrs. Hack. So this gentleman \n\nMrs. Tor. Is my intended, whom I have the honor to introduce to \nyou. Mr. Peaceable, I present you to my dear friend, Mrs. Racket. \n\n[P.1X shakes hand, and takes c. \n\n3frs. Rack. [To Mrs. Torpedo.] But are you not afraid? \n\nMrs. Tor. Afraid ! no, the duel decides me. Mr. Peaceable has a \nthousand good qualities, but we have commanded the Utah dragoons, \nwhile Mr. Peaceable is in the civil service of the United States, a \nweigher and guager in the custom-house, and an original Buchanan \nman ; and he is so unfortunate as never to have had the slightest quar- \nrel with any one. \n\nMrs. Rack. But I think that is a great merit. I am married to the \nmost amiable and peaceable man in the world. He is merciful even to \nthe mosquitoes ! \n\nPax. (c.) So \xe2\x80\x94 so \xe2\x80\x94 am \xe2\x80\x94 I. \n\n3Irs. Tor. [To Pax.] Silence, sir; no talking in the ranks. [To Mrs. \nR.\\CKET.] My child, if he is so peaceable, you ought to send him to \nBarnum, to retrieve his fallen fortunes, or ship him to Paris, for the \nconference. [To Pax.] According to your account, the person \xe2\x80\x94 I don\'t \nknow his name \xe2\x80\x94 whom we have called out must be a bully, for he \n\nPax. I\'ll t \xe2\x80\x94 t \xe2\x80\x94 tell you \xe2\x80\x94 [Stutters.\'] \xe2\x80\x94 all about it I was coming \ndown Broadway, when two ladies were coming up : they had very \ngreat hoops, and crowded me to the wall, when he endeavored to pass \nme with his dog ; the dog got between my legs \xe2\x80\x94 I trod on his tail \xe2\x80\x94 \ndog run under ladies\' hoop \xe2\x80\x94 lady disgusted \xe2\x80\x94 policeman poked dog out \nwith sticks \xe2\x80\x94 great crowd \xe2\x80\x94 people laughed \xe2\x80\x94 he very indignant \xe2\x80\x94 said I \nhad mutilated his dog \xe2\x80\x94 demanded I should apologize to the dog \xe2\x80\x94 \ncouldti\'t do it \xe2\x80\x94 he threw his hat at me \xe2\x80\x94 soon after, heard something drop \n\xe2\x80\x94 station-house \xe2\x80\x94 Judge \xe2\x80\x94 policeman \xe2\x80\x94 five dollars \xe2\x80\x94 blood \xe2\x80\x94 that\'s all ! \n\nMrs. Rack. Horrid wretch \n\nMrs. Tor. And that\'s enough! a most deadly insult. When we \nwere commanding the Utah dragoons, the Colonel of the Arkansas \nrifles said we were a no such tiling. We fought in a trench, six feet \nlong, three feet wide, and four feet deep ! with Colt\'s revolvers, pio- \nneer\'s axes, and two four-pound howitzers, lent us in the most gentle- \nmanly manner by Captain Bragg, of the regulars. We were wounded, \nbut all of ours called out all of the Arkansas rifles ; and such was the \nhavoc, that their junior Second Lieutenant, who had the fever and \ncouldn\'t come out, became Colonel of the regiment. \n\nMrs. Rack. What brutes ! \n\nPax. [Friohtencd.] But the bloodshed in duels is what displeases \nme. I might have a scar. \n\nMrs. Tor. Never mind, a scar is an lionorable decoration. I trust \nyou will return from the field of honor with your arm in a sling ; I shall \nthen receive you as the Spartan women would have greeted Leonidas, \nif he had ever returned. I shall say, receive Pax, my hand \xe2\x80\x94 it is \nyours, to console you, and especially to take care of you. \n\n\n\n10 MY wife\'s mirror. \n\nPax. I\'m exceedingly obliged \xe2\x80\x94 [Aside.\'] \xe2\x80\x94 and exceeding frightened. \n\nMrs. Rac. But I cannot see why you should fight. This is a civi- \nlized community. We are not in California ; one can walk out here \nwithout a Bowie knife. Your adversary, sir, must be one of your bit- \nterest enemies. \n\nFax. bless your soul, no \xe2\x80\x94 nothing of the kind ; he is one of my \nbest friends ; but he is proud and passionate \xe2\x80\x94 awfully so. Went to \ncollege with him. He used to punch the heads of the entire police, and \nwas rusticated for shying champagne bottles at the president\'s head. \nW\'e used to call him Robert, the Devil. \n\nMrs. Rack. [Astonished.] Robert ! \n\nRax. Yes. madam \xe2\x80\x94 Robert Racket ! \n\nMrs. Rack. Good heavens ! my husband ! \n\nRax. Her husband ! Goodness gracious. \n\nMrs. Tor. Her husband! Gracious goodness. \n\nMrs. Rac. [ Weeping to Pax.] Oh I sir, I entreat you to relinquish \nthis duel ; run away \xe2\x80\x94 go to \n\nRax. With p\xe2\x80\x94 p\xe2\x80\x94 leas \xe2\x80\x94 [Crosses to L. \n\nMrs. Tor. [To Pax.] Silence ! sir. Eyes right. [To Mrs. Racket.] \nTake courage, my dear, it is terrible ! but it is a point of honor. \n\nRax. [Courageously \xe2\x80\x94 Crosses to r.] It i.\xc2\xab a point of honor ! \n\nMrs. Rac. [To Pax. She speaks savagely, and he shrinks from \nher.] But this point of honor pierces the heart of a woman. When is \nit to be ! \n\nRax. To-morrow \xe2\x80\x94 seven A. M. \xe2\x80\x94 Weehawken. \n\nMrs. Rac. Then I will prevent it. I will run home and talk to Rob- \nert. I will soften him with my tears ! He is as gentle as a lamb \xe2\x80\x94 a \nJove. [Runs out c. l \n\nPax. [Aside] Yes, as a lamb in a rage, and a dove in a high \nfever ! \n\nMrs. Tor. Now, sir, for our pistol practice. \n\n[Exit, R., marching \xe2\x80\x94 saying, as he steps \xe2\x80\x94 left, left, S^c \n\nSCENE HI. \xe2\x80\x94 Same as Scene I. \xe2\x80\x94 Case of Pistols on table, v. e. l. \nTrick dove to fall at pistol shot. \n\nEnter Racket, c. \n\nRac. "Well, everything must be ready by this time for our little affair \nto-murrow. I don\'t hardly think Pax will come to taw, though he does \nwrite so ferociously. If he don\'t, then it is nose pulling, and \n\nEnter Mrs. Racket, c, throws off her bonnet, and runs to Racket. \n\nRac. (l.) Why, my love, your bonnet is farther oft\' your head than \never, and there is no occasion for that with the present fashion What\'s \nthe matter ! \n\nMrs. Rac. (r.) [Leads Racket down to the fool-lights \xe2\x80\x94 looks ear- \nnestly in his face.} Tell me, my love, have you not the amiability of an \nangel ? \n\nRac. [Lauohs.] What a queer question. \n\nMrs. Rac. It is a serious one. Listen ! Are you not peaceable ? \n\n\n\nMY wife\'s mirror. 11 \n\nRac. As General Pierce! \n\nMrs. Rac. Then why, sir, are you going to fight a duel to-morrow 1 \n\nJiac. Me fight a duel \xe2\x80\x94 well what then ? How did you find it ouf! \n\nMrs. Jiac. Never mind ! I will oppose it. [Seizes pislols] I will \nstop it, as the border ruffians treat the Massachusetts abolitionists ; I \nseize your arms. \n\nRac. Oh! that\'s of no consequence. The seconds bring the arms. \n\nMrs. Rac. [Excited ] What are you about to do ! I implore you to \nthink of it. You would shoot your college friend. The man who \npresses your hand cannot tread upon your dog\'s tail without your cut- \nting his throat. \n\nRac. [Li a rage.\'] Silence, madam I You know nothing of these \nthings. I tell you I was insulted, laughed at, and all for that miserable \nfellow. I am not calm, I am not peaceable. I am not the Broadway \nlounger, the quiet Sybarite you think me. No, I have fought several \nduels, and killed my man when I was abroad. You call me a bully. \nWell, a bully let it be, then ; but every time an insulting word has been \nwhispered in my ears, I have sent a bullet at the ears of the insolent \nfellow who uttered it. This Pax I will kill \xe2\x80\x94 I will have his blood. \n\nMrs Rac. [Implori7igly.\'\\ Now, my dear Robert, compose yourself. \nThink if he should kill you, I should die also; and if you conquer him, \nyou will have murdered a poor young man, who seems full of gentle- \nness. \n\nRac. No, he is an infamous wretch, and Pll smash him as I do this \nvase. \n\n[Takes China vase from table, and throws on the stage, stamping \nvith his feet. \n\nMrs. Rac. This then is the angel I have chosen. [Weeps.] I will try \nthe mirror again. [Goes to him and shakes his hand vigorously.] It is \nwell, Robert ; you have stood the test. \n\nRac. [Astonished!^ Stood what 1 \n\nMrs. Rac. The test, I had prepared for you. If you had consented, \nlike a common-place man, to sacrifice yourself for your wife, I should \nhave despised you. Heaven has made us for each other. I burned \nwith anger, when I heard of the in^ult. He dare to tread on your dog\'s \ntail ; you must have his blood ! blood ! ! \n\nTine. [Stupified.\'\\ Mirabile dictu ! \n\nMrs. Rac. (Jh ! how I wish I was a man ! I would be your second. I \n\xe2\x96\xa0would abuse every one I did not like, and shoot them afterwards. I \nwould walk Broadway in the middle of the pave, and bully all the stage- \ndrivers. If any one looked askance at me \xe2\x80\x94 blood ! If any one touched \nmy elbow \xe2\x80\x94 blood ! I would have been a brave man. \n\nRdc. Yes ! like the parsons, who give away rifles in church, you \n\xe2\x96\xa0would have made yourself supremely ridiculous. \n\nMrs. Rac. [Joyously.] Do you think so ! You will not fight, then. \n\nRac But I will. I never recoiled from an affair of honor. \n\nMrs. Rac. ^\\\'ell, then I will be worthy of you. [7ukcs up pistol.] Do \nyou know that I can shoot. We used to do it every day at Newport. I \ncan ring the bell three times out of five. I could blow out a man\'s \nbrains. [Goes up to the window. \n\n\n\n12 MY wife\'s mirror. \n\nRac. [Aside.] Women have nothing to do with brains. \n\nMrs. Rac. Reply, Oh, Lion ! Are you satisfied with your Lioness 1 \n\nRac. I prefer to lie down with the lamb. But since you have taken \nup your character of lioness, you no longer oppose the duel, and \nto-morrow \n\nMrs. Rac. \\_At the window.~\\ To-morrow. Do you see that dove yon- \nder ! Well, if I were in your place, I would aim at that insolent fellow, \nas 1 aim [Aims \xe2\x96\xa0pistol.~\\ at that dove, and would kill him, as I am going \nto kill that bird. [Fires, bird falls. \n\nRac. [Mitch affected.\'] Madam, this is infamous. To kill a turtle- \ndove \xe2\x80\x94 the symbol of fidelity. What had this poor bird done to you ? \nSee how he suffers ; haw he struggles against death. His family were \nperhaps expecting him at the dove-cote I He had his little home, where \nhe was beloved \xe2\x80\x94 his heaven, where he was free. He falls \xe2\x80\x94 he is dead ! \nand why 1 Because a woman has chosen to exhibit her address. No, \nit is not a woman. It is a tigress ! \n\nMrs Rac. Ah ! You reproach me, for having fired upon a bird, while \nyou are going to kill the friend of your childhood. I ask you, what has \nhe done to you? Has he insulted your wife, or profaned the memory \nof your mother 1 No, he has simply given a pin-scratch to your vanity, \nand this vanity replies by a pistol. You may think yourself a man of \ncourage, but I tell you that a man of true courage is he who devotes \nhimself to his friends, not he who kills them. I implore you, renounce \nthis duel. \n\nRac. You have learned me a good lesson. But I cannot now \nrecede. I would if it wore possible, without being accused of cow- \nardice. \n\nEnter Mary with card, gives it to Mrs. Racket. \n\nMr.t. Rac. What ! Peaceable, so soon. It is to-morrow. \nRac. You see it is no longer in my hands. \n\nEnter Pax. \n\nPax. [To Racket.] Sir, [S/utters] I have anticipated the dreadful \nmoment. You insulted me, sir, and my duty is \n\nRac. To fight me, eh? \n\nJ/;-.s. Rac. [To Pax, seizinn; Mm by the hand.] Oh! Mr. Peaceable, \ndo not kill him. \n\nFax. {^Placing his hand on his heart, and taking a melordramatic atti- \ntude.] Be calm ! I am incapable of it, madam. I have been thinking \nthat I have an important duty to fulfil. \n\nRac. What! \n\nPax. [Solr.innly .] A duty to humanity. This morning I met Mrs. \nRacket, her grief affected me deeply ; I am not a monster. I am not \na grizzly bear m human shape, I cannot see a widow and orphans in \ntears. \n\nRac. Not an orphan! \n\nFax. Never mind, there would be a widow ; I will not make that \nsplendid creature a wiaow. I have put an extinguisher upon my anger; \nI have said to myself I must renounce this duel, from sensibility. My \n\n\n\nMy wife\'s mirror. 13 \n\nimpetuous disposition at first carried me away, but I thought of your \nlovely wife and {Extends his hand, Racket takes it. \n\nRac. ITo Pax.] And now we are friends again. \n\n[Pax twirls his hat and looks very foolish. \n\nRac. Weil, my boy, what\'s the matter now 1 \n\nPax. Do you know Mrs. Aiexandrina Torpedo\'? \n\nJtac. No ! What sort of a woman is she \\ \n\nPax. Splendid creature \xe2\x80\x94 sort of Juno, and all that sort of thing \xe2\x80\x94 \nwidow of a Colonel in the Utah Dragoons \xe2\x80\x94 passion for bowie knives. \nMy heart is enrolled in her regiment \xe2\x80\x94 I fight under her colors \xe2\x80\x94 that is, \nI don\'t fight \xe2\x80\x94 and as she was very anxious for me to fight, I will be \nparticularly obliged to you if you won\'t mention the strong proof of \nmoral courage I have just given you. \n\nRac. \\^Laiighing.^ I promise it. \n\nPax. Let it be understood, then, we have fought. \n\nRac. To the death ! \n\nPax. No, not to the death, exactly, as we are both alive, that would \nbe slightly improbable. But if I could give her some proof \xe2\x80\x94 a scratch, \na scar \n\nRac. [Taking vp his pistol.} AH right, old fellow. Stand over there, \nand I\'ll wing you beautifully. \n\nPax. [Frightened.] Oh! no \xe2\x80\x94 no \xe2\x80\x94 no jokes \n\nRac. I have it, Mr. Peaceable. Nothing will look so well as to have \nyour arm in a sling. [Produces black silk handkerchief.] Present your- \nself to the Colonel\'s widow thus, and I am confident she will say here \nis my hand for your arm. [Binds his arm.\'\\ It belongs to the ladies to \nlook after the wounded. There you are, my Caesar. Remember I have \nyour secret \xe2\x80\x94 if I should tell her \n\nPax. Good heavens ! \n\nRac. Don\'t be afraid ! Be discreet, and I will be silent. But if I \nwant you, you are my slave. \n\nPax. I swear it. \n\nEnter Mrs. Torpedo, hurriedly. \n\nMrs. Tor. [Seeing Fax.] Ah! has it come ofTT \n\nMrs. Rac. Oh ! yes \xe2\x80\x94 no great harm done. He has a slight wound. \n[Pax and Mrs. Torpedo speak aside. \n\nPax. [Smiling.] I have the honor to announce to you my approach- \ning marriage \xe2\x80\x94 I have enlisted. \n\nMrs. Rac. In the Utah Dragoons 1 \n\nMrs. Tor. Precisely. \n\nRac. [Aside.] Poor fellow, it would have been better for him if I had \nshot him. \n\nMrs. Rac. Two hearts bound together with black silk. Charming \nspectacle. \n\nEnter Mk. Vingt-un, bows to the Ladies. \n\nVingt-un. I am sorry to break up this delightful quartette \n\n[Mk. Racket makes telegraphic signs to him to stop. \nAnd particularly, madam, I beg pardon for taking away your husband, \nbut he is engaged to our circle at the club, and is an hour behind time. \n\n\n\n14 MY wife\'s mirror. \n\nMrs. Rac. Ah ! yes, the club \xe2\x80\x94 delightful place, no doubt. But why \ndon\'t you have ladies in your circle ! It must be terribly dull. \n\nPax. [Looking at Mbs. Torpedo ] Yes! like a night without stars. \nWhat ! is there no place for the better half of humanity ! \n\nVingt-un. [Not noticing Racket, whose signals increase in vigor.\'\\ \nOh ! yes ; we constantly have the Queen of Diamonds, the Queen of \nHearts, the Duchess of Spades, and the Marchioness of Clubs. \n\nMrs. Rac. [To Mr. R.] So you pass those nights in gambling which \nyou told me were spent at the bed-side of your sick uncle. [To Vingt- \nun.] Is it true] \n\nVingt-un. It is as you say. \n\nMrs. Rac. [ With affected gaiety. "l And do you play high 1 \n\nVingt-un. Not very. Racket lost, however, ten thousand to a gen- \ntleman from Mississippi the other night. \n\nMrs. Rac. [To Racket.] Is it possible T \n\nRac. [ With decision.\'\\ Yes ! I am rich, I can afford it. Let us go, \nVingt un. Hurrah for the card table ! \n\nMrs. Rac. Yes I Hurrah fot the card table. [Rings bell \xe2\x80\x94 enter ser- \nvaril.] Mary, a table and cards. [Mary brings down table and exits.l \nPlay, gentlemen, not at the club, but here. I will join in the game. \n\nRac. You ! \n\nMrs. Rac. Yes ! I am passionately fond of gambling \xe2\x80\x94 I love a \ngreen table studded with gold and notes as the turf with daisies. I \nlove to pass the night with my eyes fi.xed on a set of senseless pictures \ninvented to amuse an idiot, and used to make idiots of sensible men. \nDecidedly, my love, we were made for each other. \n\nRac. [Asidc.\'\\ So I have married a glutton and a gambler. Mem.\xe2\x80\x94 \nsuspect marriageable young ladies, especial!)\' poetic blondes. \n\n[He sits down and deals the cards, playitig with ViNGT-UN. \n\nMrs. Rac. I will bet a thousand dollars on my husband. \n\nRac. What an extravagant little wretch ! \n\nMrs. Rac. Come, make the game \xe2\x80\x94 who takes my bet 1 \n\nMrs. Tor. Not I ! I abhor all gambling, except chess, and that re- \npresents a combat. [Sternly to Pax.] I am glad you never play. I \nnever would have consented to marry a gambler. \n\nMrs. Rac. Mr. Peaceable, will you take my bet ? \n\nPax. Thank you ; I never play except with the small sword, and I \nam not yet very strong. \n\nMrs. Rac. [Takes him aside.\'] Bet against me, or I will tell her \nabout the scarf. [Whispers in his ear. \n\nPax. Great heavens ! I take the bet. \n\nMrs. Tor. I shall burst with rage ! \n\nRack. [To Vngt-un.] You win. \ny Mrs. Rac. [To Pax.] And so do you. \n\nhac. [To Vingt-un.] Shall we double the stakes 1 \n\nVingt-un. With pleasure. \n\nMrs. Rac. [To Pax.] I will bet you two thousand on my husband ; \nand in addition, I will bet you my carriage and pair against your horse \nand Rockaway. \n\nMrs. Tor. [To. Pax.] If you take that bet, I will never speak to you \nagain as long as I live \n\n\n\nHT wife\'s mirror. 15 \n\nMrs. Rac. Come, sir, I am waiting. \n\nRac. [To Mrs. R.] This is madness! One would think you had \nbeen cradled on a faro-table. \n\nMrs Rue. \\\\\'hat, my love, are you not charmed to see me sympa- \nthize with your tastes 1 [To Pax.] How long must I wait for you, \nsir\' \n\nPax. Madam, I cannot take that bet ; I have nothing. I \n\nMrs. Rack. Very well, sir ; how is your wound \n\nFax. I will take the bet. \n\nRac. [^Irritated ] I have lost again ! The cards are bewitched. "We \nwill double the stakes again. \n\nMrs. Rack. And I will bet my country-house on the Hudson. \n\nRac. Madam, you will ruin me ! Leave the room ! \n\nMrs. Tor. [Looking at Pax.] I\'ll tear your eyes out ! \n\nPax. [To Mus. R.] Madam, I have nothing to bet with. I have only \na lodging-room in the Fourth Avenue. \n\nMrs. Rac. Very well. By the way, where do you buy your black \nsilk scarfs ? \n\nPax. [Hastilr/.] I forget ; I have four lots on Murray Hill. I will \ntake the bet. \n\nRac I have lost seven thousand dollars ! \n\nVingt-un. [Going out.] And I have won them I \n\nRac. [To Mrs. R.] You are mad, woman! Our carriage \xe2\x80\x94 our \ncountry-house \xe2\x80\x94 all are lost ! What can be more odious than a female \ngambler ! You are positively horrid \xe2\x80\x94 your rosy cheeks havq become \nyellow \xe2\x80\x94 your bright eyes are haggard ! Looking at you has disgusted \nme with gambling. 1 will never touch another card. \n\nMrs. Rac. You are then cured ? \n\nRac. [Severely] What is it to you, since I am about to quit you \nforever 1 I will not live with a gambler ! \n\nMrs. Rac Are you going \'[ \n\nMrs. Tor. [To Pax.] And I will never marry a gambler. Adieu, \nsir. \n\nPax. [Aside to Mrs. Racket.] It is time to justify ourselves. \n\nMrs. Rac. [7\'o Mr. R.J So you desire a separation ! \n\nRac. I am resolved upon it ! [A.side.] Poor thing I \n\nMrs. Rac. Then I must take a decided step. [Walks up stage. \n\nRack. Good heavens ! she is going to throw herself out of the \nwindow ! [Mrs. Racket sits at centre table, and begins to read. \n\nMrs. Tor. Well, that is cool ! \n\nPax. As if it was iced ! \n\nRac. What, do you have the courage to sit down tranquilly and \nread when I have announced that I am about to part from you forever ! \nY\'our frightful defects have destroyed all our happiness, and you are \nas stolid as an iceberg. \n\nMrs. Rac. Listen ! [Reads from hook.] " Beelzebub, who had never \nseen himself in a glass, looked one day in a Venitian mirror, and utter- \ned a cry of terror. The mirror copied exactly all his imperfections ! \xe2\x80\x94 \nhis flaming eyes, and his frightful red beard. He softened the lire of \nhis eyes, put himself into the hands of some Broadway artists, became \n\n\n\n16 MX "Wife\'s mirror. \n\ncharming, elegant, and fashionable ; for the defects shown him by his \nfaithful friend the mirror had all disappeared." \n\nRack. What does it mean 1 \n\nMrs. Rack. It means, my love, that I have been your mirror. I am \nnot a glutton nor a gambler. Our betting was a humbug. You [/o \nMrs. Torpedo] can marry Mr. Peaceable ; he is not a gambler, and is \nas brave as a lion. [Racket embraces her.] I have corrected you ot \nyour faults, for the devil did not think himself handsome when he \nlooked in the mirror. \n\nRac. [Shakes hands with Mrs. R.] I acknowledge the corn. And \nnow that every thing is settled, let\'s celebrate the event by &fete. \n\nAll. Agreed ! \n\nMrs. Rac. To the Varieties ! \n\nMrs. Tor. I am going to the Tabernacle, to the Anniversary of the \nSociety for the Spread of Sharpe\'s Rifles, Colt\'s Revolvers \xe2\x80\x94 \n\nMr. Peaceable. Schiedam Schnapps \xe2\x80\x94 \n\nMrs. Tor. And true religion all over the world. The exercises are \nrefreshingly warlike. \n\nRac. Very likely ! But we not being philanthropically inchned, will \ngo to the theatre. \n\nVingt-un. And I, not being theatrically inclined, will go to the Club, \nwhere we hold the mirror up to nature through the medium of a full \npack. \n\nMrs. Rac. As Wallack says, in Jaques \xe2\x80\x94 " So to your pleasures." \xe2\x80\x94 \nWell, are we all ready \xe2\x80\x94 hat, gloves, my lorgnette \xe2\x80\x94 all right ! \n\nRac. Go! [^They all go up. \n\nMrs. Rac. [To Mr. Rac] Have\'nt you forgotten something? \n\nRac. [Looking about him.] I believe I\'m all right \xe2\x80\x94 what\'s the row. \n\n3Irs. Rac. [Brings Racket doiDn.\'\\ Why some of our friends [look- \ning at audience] may expect some moral reflections. \n\nRac. From our Mirror \xe2\x80\x94 ah, yes, beg pardon. I did forget that inter- \nesting ceremony. You\'d better do it. They rather hke you \xe2\x80\x94 and it is \nyour mirror. Pitch them something a la Hiawatha. \n\nMrs. Rac. [To audience, solemnly.] \n\nIf you ask me whence this farce is. \nWhence this furor of My Wife\'s Mirror, \nI should answer \xe2\x80\x94 I should tell you \xe2\x80\x94 \n\nAll. Oh ! Oh ! [Laugh. \n\nMrs. Rac. [To Pax.] Well, Achilles, you try it. \n\nPax. [ With dignity.\'\\ Ladies and gentlemen, the moral of this piece \nis \xe2\x80\x94 [All laugh. \n\nRac. Oh, that\'ll never do \xe2\x80\x94 nobody cares about morals, now-a-days, \nexcept political editors, when they desire to pitch into an opponent. [To \naudience.] My wife requests me to show you \xe2\x80\x94 no \xe2\x80\x94 that is, yes \xe2\x80\x94 I \nmean that our mirror will be exhibited every night. \n\nMrs. Rac. And, ladies, if there are any of you that have fast hus- \nbands, try the soothing system, and take a look at \xe2\x80\x94 \n\nRac. My Wife\'s Mirror. \n\nTHE END. \n\n\n\nLIBRARY OF CONGRESS \n\n\n\nFRMCH\'rAMIIRldrMAilT^ \n\nPkice 12i Cents each. \xe2\x80\x94 Bound Volumes $1. \n\n\n\nVOL. I. \n\n1. Midsummer Night\'s \n\nDream. \n\n2. Popping theQ,uestion. \n\n3. I>a I our de Nesle. \n\xe2\x96\xa0I. Deal" as a Po^t. \n\n5. Therese ; or. the Or- \n\nphan of Geneva. \n\n6. Flying Dutchman. \n\n7. New Footman. \n\n8. Pleasant Neighbor. \n\nv&. IV. ; \n\n25.1 Game of Life. \n2G.U,ittle \'Treasure. \nS/iKing Charming, i \n28.irocahonlas. / \n\n29./Komance & Reality, \n.so/ f^ea of Ice ^ \n\n.Slj Ol\' ckn;alcer\'s Hati \n32V Married llitke. / \n\nVOL.VII^ , \n\n49., Married Life. ( \n\n50. Tom Cringle. \\ \n\n5 1. \'Swiss ( oltsge. \' \n52.lJane Kyre. \n.5:{, Young VVidow. \n.\')4.(Wenlockof Wenlock. \n55. 1( >\'Flan igan and Fai- \n.50 { Irish Post. [ries. \n\n\n\nVOL. IL \n\n9. Ireland As It Is. \n\n10. Giuiie \xc2\xbb( Love. \n\n11. Ral}; -Picker of Paris. \n\n12. Fkddy the Piper \n1.3. Ernestine. \n\n14. dombey & Son. \n\n15. iSkven Clerks. \n\nIB. Bcyaa-Q^Jjynn. , \xe2\x80\x94 \n\n\n\nVOL. III. \n\n\n\n17( Irish , \n18.\\David \n\n\n\nAssura\' ce. \n\n--., d Ciipperfield. \n\nl9.^Ugalino \n/20 \'\'J\'emptation. \n21. i\'\'orty Thieves. \n2. Paddy Carey. \n\'i |\xc2\xbbrian Boroihme. \n24.jTwo Gregories. \n\n/ \n\n\n\n\n\n\n, VOL. V. / \n\n33. King\'s Rival. \nSV^\'Love and Murder. \n35i Carpenter of Rouen. \n3G. "Ireland and America " \n37. Jewess. [ness \n\n38. J\'retlv Piece of Husi- \n.39.(Irish "Hroo>n Maker. \n40. ;./Ethiop. \n\nV- VOL. VIIL I \n\nv\\. Ilenriettf. the Forsaken \n\n58. Alineilip Rosi- of Killar- \n\n5t. My I eighbor\'sWife.[ny\' \n\n0(1. l^^h \'i\'ig.r. \n\n61 . Krer.ch f^py. \n\n(iii. Rose of Ltrickvalo \n\n03. 1\' P., or the .\\!an &. Tigel \n\n04. To Oblige Benson \n\n\n\nVOL. VI. \n\n\n\n4). Pilot. \n\n4-J. Pauline. [X-?. \n\n43y To I\'aris and Kack for \n\n44< That Blessed Baby. \n\n4o.yi\'o Pareiits& Guardians \n\n40.]Three Guardsmen. \n\n47.|()ur Gal. \n\n48. Night and Morning. \n\n"^ VOL. IX. \n\n65. Tamille. \n\n06. Eustaclie naudin. \n\n07. I\'ariKsi .Maltravers. \nCy. Bold Dragoons. \n\n09. W. plof Wish-ton-Wish \n\nite .>-ecrets. \n7lV Irish Yank\xc2\xbb"e. \n\nLast Days of Pompeii. \n\n\n\n\n\nVOL. X. \n\n\n\n\nVOL. XI. -\' \n\n\n\n\nVOL. XIL \n\n\n\n\n(In Press). \n\n\n\n\n(Fn Press). \n\n\n\n\n^iii Press). \n\n\n73 \n\n\nT( mpt\'st. \n\n\n81. \n\n\nBen the Boatswain. \n\n\n89. \n\n\nBold St oke for a Hue- \n\n\n74 \n\n\nA Good Fellow. \n\n\n82. \n\n\nAwkward Arrival. \' \n\n\nDO \n\n\nCrown Prince, [band \n\n\n7.1. \n\n\nCherry and Fair Star. \n\n\nH3 \n\n\n\'Hen Bolt. \n\n\n91. \n\n\n\n\n76 \n\n\nGale llreezly. \n\n\ns4 \n\n\nCrossing the Line. \n\n\n!I2. \n\n\nS\'ailor of Prance. \n\n\n77. \n\n\nKsrnPH\'lda. \n\n\n85 \n\n\n\n\n\\)X \n\n\nUnfinished Gentleman \n\n\n7.S. \n\n\nOur Jemima. \n\n\nhO \n\n\nTwo Queens. \n\n\n94. \n\n\n\n\n70. \n\n\nMiller\'s Maid. \n\n\n^\xe2\x96\xa07. \n\n\nThumping l-epacy, \' \n\n\n95. \n\n\nHouse Dog. \n\n\n\xc2\xab). \n\n\nPttt r Wilkins. \' \n\n\n88. \n\n\nJonathan jlradford. \n\n\nno. \n\n\nMii.eralli. \n\n\n\nMr. F. has over lOO.COO Plays (o fill orders from, published in Kurope and America. \nPlays se: t by ^!ail on receipt of Price. \n\nAmerican Plats, 121 Cents each, or 10 for $1.00. \n\n{[^" All orders will receive prompt attention. \n\nS. FRENCH, 121 Nassau Street, New York. \n\n\n\n'