/'^c5 -

I

AjcSi ^ ^/ ^ ^ot^ ^ .
- c/-jra

72

Lei’s build a home!



UNiyER5ITY^

XJBRMIE6

Yale University Archives



Lefs Bnild a home!

• Marriage

• The Family

• The Fation

by a Trappist



NIHIL OBSTAT:

Fr. M. Mauricius Malloy, O.C.S.O.

Fr. M. Albericus Wulf, O.C.S.O^

Censores

IMPRIMI POTEST:

^ Fredericus M. Dunne, O.C.S.O.
AbhaSy B, M. de Gethsemani

die 15a Augusti, 1942

IMPRIMATUR:

I^J. A. Floersh, D. D.

Archiepiscopus Ludovicopolitanus
• die 25a Julii, 1942

1st Printing 10,000

2nd Printing 10,000

3rd Printing 20,000

COPYRIGHT 1942

by the

ABBEY OF GETHSEMANI, Inc.

DeacTdified



TO

FATHER CARL

Our Lady^s Assumption 1942



Just a Word

“To pervert, both in private and in public
life, the moral sense begot and fostered by

the Church, to lead human society back to the
miserable conception of paganism—after
having almost effaced the last vestige of

Christian wisdom and decency—such is the
dream which too many, alas! seek to realize
today. God grant that their attempts be
fruitless. In keeping with their purpose, the

efforts of the wicked are primarily directed

against the family, for they see clearly that

the corruption they seek to bring upon society

will surely be effected once they succeed in

overturning the foundations upon which the

family is based, since the latter is the nucleus

of civil society. Hence divorce laws are

introduced to put an end to the stability of

marriage. Hence children are forced to follow

an official teaching so often estranged from

religion and ruining the authority of parents

in a matter of the highest importance. Hence

countenance is given to the spread of a

shameful habit of selfish indulgence which

contravenes the laws of nature, strikes a blow

at the human race at its very source and strips
the marriage tie of all its sanctity.” These

words explain the purpose of our little work.

They are taken from a letter of His Holiness,
Pope Benedict XV, to Father Mateo rejoicing
over the abundant fruit the work of the
enthronement of the Sacred Heart in the homes
has borne and exhorting him to persevere in

an “apostolate so successfully begun.”

We must save the home; this is imperative
if we wish to save society. And only a home
founded upon the solid principles of Christian-

ity will serve as a bulwark against the in-

vading forces which threaten our very exist-

ence. To put it briefly, we must go back to
Christ and, to quote again from the above-



mentioned letter, ‘‘to follow Christ is to be

permeated with a lively and constant faith

which not only acts upon the mind and heart,

but likewise governs and directs our conducts*

Christ is the Way back to safety and sanity;
carnality, sensuality and materialism bring us

to destruction and insanity. Which do you
prefer ? The Eternal Wisdom willed to inaug-
urate the work of Redemption in the bosom

of the Holy Family. Today’s world needs

redemption badly, but it will not be redeemed

unless there are genuinely holy families

modeled after the pattern, so simple yet so

sublime, of Nazareth. And it is quite logical,
for the family is the source of life and the

first school of the child. If the fount is

poisoned the nation will certainly perish!

The following considerations should rather
have been entitled “Topics for discussion”

since they are not at all complete and since

they are only intended as starters or provoca-

tives of thought on a subject of paramount

importance: your home.



Divisions

PAGE

Just A Word 4

Opening Scene 7

Prosperity, the Nation, the Home 13

A Word on Marriage 19

Don's Party 23

Let's Build A Home 30

Christ, the Cornerstone 32

Religion and the Home 39

More About Marriage 42

Parenthood: Parents and the Home 45

Lunch Time 57

Your Home and the Commandments 61

A Little Heaven 67

Closing Scene 70.

Conclusion 71



Let^s Build A Home

I. Opening Scene.

“Say, mother can I have the gang over
tomorrow night?”

“Tomorrow night? Sure, Don. What's up?”
“Well, I promised to have them over some-

time and I think tomorrow night would be a
good night because they all seem to be so fed
up on running around and not really having

a good time.”

“I thought you had a nice time the other

night.”

“We did, in a way, but it was just cruising
around as one of the fellows puts it—just
purposeless going from here to there.”

“I think I get it. You want a safe port to
cast anchor. Is that it?”

“Something like that, mom. You always
seem to get the idea.”

“Don't forget that I was a youngster once,

and though things are a bit different today

from what they were in my childhood days,
human nature is very much the same.”
“Say mom, that's a concession. Everybody

says that our generation is on the rocks, and

here you practically say that the young people

in your day were about the same as they are
today.”

“Just a minute! Don't go too fast. I said

that human nature is very much the same but
you must admit that times have changed. For

one thing, the speed of everything—including
our lives—has picked up considerably. Back
in the buggy days everything moved along
with proportionate speed: slow and thought-

ful; but today, everything moves along
”

“Speedily and thoughtlessly, I suppose,”

broke in Don. “I admit that you are right in

a way, mother. We do speed along and seem
thoughtless and careless, but you'd be sur-



8 Let’s Build A Home

prised at some of the thinking the fellows are
doing nowadays—even the girls.”

‘‘No reflections on my sex, fellow.”
“0. K. I take it back. But seriously, the

fellows and girls do get down and think every
once in a while. Do you suppose they’re satis-
fied to be drifting along aimlessly and getting

nowhere? They’ve got dreams and ambitions

just like you and dad had and they want to

get somewhere. But, oh, I don’t know. . . .

What’s wrong, mom?”
“As I see it, Don, when you go cruising

around looking for a safe port to cast anchor

you need a compass, a reliable one, and I’m

afraid that many young people haven’t got
such a compass or competent guide or rule

to bring them in safely to port.”

“Will you be just a bit more explicit? I
know what a compass is—learned about it
in the Boy Scouts; and I know what a guide
is. He is used on hunting and mountain climb-
ing expeditions and is supposed to know all
the trails. And when the trail ends, it’s his
job to lead you over the rough and unmarked
places. And rules—they have those in foot-
ball. They tell you what you can do and what
you can’t do and the penalties for infractions.”

“Right. And just what kind of a sea
voyage do you suppose you would have with-

out a compass; or expedition without guides;

or football game without rules?”
“The ship would probably never reach

port, the expedition would get lost and, boy!

what a mess the game would be! It would
probably turn into a free-for-all, especially if

the rivalry was keen.”
“Like between Notre Dame and the Army.

Now life is a voyage, an expedition and a
game. Take away the compass, the guide
and the rules and what happens to your life?”

“I think I get it, mom. A fellow has to have
a guide he can trust, one who has been tried
and found trustworthy; a guide who can cope
with every emergency and who will lead him
on from one conquest to another until he

attains his goal.”



Let’s Build A Home 9

‘‘That’s about it. You do think, don’t you?”

“Now, mother, no digs—I told you we do
think once in a while. Hey! look at the clock.

It’s time for me to get back to classes. I won’t
forget what you told me and I’ll have some
questions ready for you. Be on your guard.”

“Forwarned is forearmed—I’ll be on the
alert. But how about the party?”

“Gosh, I almost forgot about that.”

“You can take over the house and dad and

I will go down to the show.”
“Oh no, mom. We want you and dad to be

here too. I know all the fellows think you’re

swell because you treat them so nice when

they call for me or whenever they drop in.
And dad’s a pal.”
“Nice of you to say that, Don. All right,

we’ll stay home. And I suppose you’ll want
lunch.”

“Well, since you mention it .... a piece of

home-made pie or cake and some sandwiches

wouldn’t go bad.”

“And do you want dad to get something to
drink? Punch or highballs or something?”

“No, thanks. Let’s forget the drinks. It

seems that every place you go nowadays you

have to take a drink, whether you want to or
not. It’s so senseless, especially if you have

no taste for it at all. I like a drink once in

a while but I can’t see this idea of pouring

down one drink after another just for the
effect—just to get a kick out of it. And I
don’t think there is a more disgusting sight
than to see a woman drunk. It’s bad enough
when a man makes an animal out of himself
but when a woman does But I better
rush off. Thanks, mom—don’t forget the
lunch!” And giving his mother a hearty filial
kiss he dashed down to his convertible, which
was waiting to run him over to school.
And mother stood at the window and waved

to her 17 year-old son as he pulled away from
the curb and sped down the street. Yes, she
was proud of him. He was just beginning his
senior year in the Catholic High School and

was doing well. She thanked God that they



10 Let^s Build A Home

had been able to ^ide him safely this far
and whispered a prayer that God might con-
tinue to guide them in guiding this the last
of their sons to the home port, and that Mary,
the Star of the Sea, might light his path over
the tempestuous sea of life.

‘^Lunch,” she mused. '^Something to eat.

These boys are regular beggars, always ‘bum-

ming a handout.’ What will it be? pie, cake,
doughnuts, sandwiches ? I’d better look

through my index ”

“Oh hello, dad. You surprised me.”
“I was just making a couple of business

calls and I thought I’d drop in and see how
you were getting along.”

“Glad you did. I’m just trying to gather

some ideas for a lunch for tomorrow night.”

“What’s coming off tomorrow night?

Club?”

“No. Don is having his gang, as he calls
them, in for the evening and he hinted that

a lunch would be welcome. Any suggestions ?”

“Aw, all youngsters like pie and sandwiches
and maybe we could pop some corn.”

“That’s an idea. Remember when we were
youngsters how corn-popping and taffy-pulling
were favorite indoor sports?”

“I surely do, and it was real fun. I don’t
see why we can’t have those ‘good old days’
today,” he went on, musingly. “To many
today the home is just a place to get meals
and hang your hat, a wayside inn at which to
stop for a rest before starting off again on

the wearying search for pleasure, whereas it

should be the very center of everything. In

those days your whole life pivoted about the

home. You received your early education
there. Your first lessons about God, the

Blessed Mother and the saints were learned

at mother’s knee and as you grew up the home
and home-life had a very definite influence in

the formation of character. And even enter-
tainment. You didn’t go out and buy a good
time—you made it up in your own home:
games, story-telling, candy-making. ... Oh
I don’t have to tell you, mother. You enjoyed



Let’s Build A Home 11

those good times yourself and you know what

an important part your home had in building

you into a tender and devoted Christian

mother and a loyal and faithful wife.”

“That’s a long speech for you, dad, and,

thank you for the compliment. Yes, the home
means everything in the raising of children

and its social influence is invaluable. Re-

member how Father Carl spoke on that a
couple of Sunday ago? and how he called our
attention to the Encyclical of Pope Pius XI

on Christian marriage which stresses the

supreme importance of the unity and indissol-

ubility of Christian wedlock and lays bare the

forces undermining the sanctity of the home?”
“I think that was one of the best sermons

he ever gave. He realizes that the home is the
very foundation of human society. Undermine
the home and you undermine the nation, for a
nation will be very much what its homes are.”
“The truth of that is very evident in our

own day. Look at the number of homes
broken up and then look at the wretched

condition of society. God has never blessed
an age with equal material benefits and yet

there never was more widespread poverty,

misery and distress. Take away the home and
everything seems to go: God, religion, charity,

morality
”

“Or put it the other way: take God away
or put Him out of our lives and the home
goes, and everything noble and worthwhile

goes with it. God must remain supreme in
our homes and in our lives. If God is not
the supreme Ruler and Defender of a home,

no family can hold out against the fierce in-

roads and invasions made upon it today. And
it is we parents, first of all, who must recog-
nize that we are not masters even in our own
home—^we are creatures and subjects of God
and it is to Him that we must render an
account of those entrusted to our care.”

“Yes, and I think that if parents did stop

and realize their responsibility they would be

more zealous to fulfil their duties towards
each other and towards their children. I liked



12 Let’s Build A Home

the way Father Carl likened parents to
stewards into whose hands God has committed
the priceless treasures of human souls—souls
He prized so highly that He came down and
died for them and for which one day He will
demand a strict accounting. That will be a
dread day and especially for parents who have
neglected their duties.”

‘‘Well, mother, we’ve tried our best and we
can only trust in the mercy and goodness of

God towards poor sinners. This matter is so
important that no one can afford to overlook

it—neither parents nor children.”

“Yes, the children have to learn to love the

home, but it is the parents’ responsibility to

make the home the place it should be. Many
people condemn the younger generation but
are they entirely to blame ? Look at the

homes—if you can call them such—that some
of the youngsters come from: no God, no
respect for religion or law, no respect for

each other, quarrels, abuse, drunkenness and

all the rest. How can we expect those children
to be ideal, noble and God-fearing?”

“Oh, even such youngsters can turn out

O. K. if they are caught up by good compan-

ions or other good influences”; said dad, “but

they’ve got two strikes on them when they
come to bat and it’s a tough fight. There
was a young fellow in this morning. He
looked so down-in-the-mouth. After he fin-

ished his business I asked him what was the
matter. Well, it was a story we’ve all heard
quite often lately: broken home, no religion,

no aim in life—just drifting aimlessly. ‘Why
work, why struggle, why be noble when all you
get at the end is a nice headstone?’ he asked.

‘My grandfather was a lucky guy—^he honestly
believed he’d have a chance to make up for
mistakes in another world after he got

through with this one. He worked for some-
thing. But as for me, my parents broke away
from all that; they didn’t take any chances

on a future life, believe me. They’ve taken

all they can out of this one; they don’t even

bother to keep promises. They’ve been



Let’s Build A Home 13

divorced twice. It doesn’t matter much, I

suppose, but if I had a kid, I’d darn well see

that he learned to believe that he was at least

a couple steps above a horse or a cow.’* I

sent him over to see Father Carl. I hate to

see these youngsters, with such potentialities

for the good and noble, going to rot because

they were never brought up by proper parents

in a proper home.”

‘‘You don’t feel any worse about it than I

do. Oh, if parents would only realize that the

home is the first and fundamental training
school for their children and that nothing can

replace the home! The Sisters and Priests
and teachers worthy of the name can do and
are doing much, but they are only supple-

mentary—^the home is the primeval school and
the parents are God-appointed teachers,

especially the mother.”

“This is all very interesting, and I know
I could talk family with you for hours; but if

we want bread on the table I’d better be get-
ting on. If you need anything, call.”

“Bye, dad. Dinner at six. Oh, and on your

way, why not stop in and ask Father Carl to
come over tomorrow night?”

“That’s a splendid idea. He likes the young
people and they all go for him. Bye.”

And while dad is making his calls and
mother is looking over her recipes and Don is
at school let us touch upon the subject of the

conversations we have just listened-in on: the
home, the family and marriage.

II. Prosperity, the Nation, the Home.

We cannot lay too much stress on the im-
portance of the home and the family. Nations
rise and fall with their families. Our own
national history bears witness to this truth.

When did we enjoy the greatest prosperity?
and by prosperity we do not mean material
wealth. The sooner we change our standard

Actual case quoted by Alice Douglas Ke'lley
in her splendid pamphlet, “Boys, Girls, and Stan-
dards."



14 Let’s Build A Home

of values the better off we will be; and the
sooner we learn that we are born to live in
the world and not for the world, the more true
prosperity we will enjoy. Now prosperity
means successful progress and progress, in
turn, means a movement forward, a gradual
betterment, an advancement to a higher stage.
The application becomes clear when we stop
to reflect just where man is supposed to be
going and what his destiny is. If I were
born for this world, to live here for a short

time and then go down to a grave which would
mark the end of everything, I would be quite
willing to agree that prosperity means the
amassing of wealth, the attainment of honor

and position and all the rest that the world

has to offer. But man is born for higher and
nobler things: “Dust thou art, to dust return-

est, was not spoken of the soul.” Man is born
to be a son of God and to share the eternal

inheritance with Christ, his elder Brother. We
repeat: man lives in this world but he is
bound for heaven; and any progress, to be

real progress, must be a forward movement,
must approach him to his goal and final end,
whi^h is God and the possession of eternal
joys. Anything that takes him away from his
goal or hinders that progress is definitely

opposed to prosperity. We can build vast
steel and oil empires, we can put every wheel
in every factory in motion and we can give
everyone at least $30 a week plus ham and
eggs and yet if God does not come into our

considerations our country will not be truly

prosperous—nor will its pseudo-prosperity last
very long. What a fragile thing is material
prosperity! We all heard it crash some years
ago and the experts are still trying to piece

it together. Might we suggest that they call
in—if we may so speak—the divine Artisan
who some seons back called our poor world out
of noting and handed it over to man in good
order: “And God saw that all was good (Gene-

sis 1:25), that all was the way it should be?
He, and He alone, is able to restore sanity and
order to our poor topsy-turvy, insane, material



Let’s Build A Home 15

and pleasure-seeking world; and He will if
we only bow our proud heads and adore the
one true God—if we get down on our knees
and pray!

In the introduction to his excellent work,

‘‘The Holy Ghost,” Father Leen sums up very

compactly the basic ailment of today’s world:

a materialism that drags heaven-bound man
down to earth and crushes him, a materialism
that feeds him on bread which makes hungry

where most it satisfies. He writes: “Now it
looks as if there were about to sweep over

all the civilized peoples of the world, a philos-

ophy which threatens to corrupt utterly the

minds, the hearts, the manners and the morals

of all men. ... It is not merely bodies but

souls that risk being whelmed and drowned in

the destroying waters of this ‘modern deluge’

that, having taken its rise in the near East, is

spreading itself out on every side, East and

West, and carrying disaster in its course.

This evil system of thought degrades man to
a degree to which he was never, hitherto, de-
graded, since the foundation of the world.

Rejecting God, denying all religious, spiritual,

moral and even intellectual values, the philoso-

phy of the Communist menance, with a savage
intensity and a diabolical energy of apostolate,

proclaims that man’s horizons are limited to

this world and consequently that his aspira-

tions should soar no higher than the satisfac-

tion of his material needs. Having wherewithal

to be housed and clothed and fed, having a

sufficiency of bodily comforts, and being pro-

vided with the means to secure a satisfying
measure of sense gratification there is nothing

more to be looked for. Any ideal beyond or
higher than this is folly—is more than folly,
because it becomes a pernicious error militat-

ing against the well-being of the mass

—

Humanity. The fundamental principles of this

philosophy of Communism can be figuratively
and not inaptly compressed into this terse

statement: ‘On bread alone doth man live’—

a

statement which is seen to be a direct chal-



16 Let’s Build A Home

lenge to, as well as a flat contradiction of, the

philosophy of Jesus Christ.”

Man is hungry—very hungry. A recent
writer shows us modern man under the symbol
of a wolf roving hither and thither in the

endless and loveless desert that is Western

Civilization .... a howling human animal
crying for eternity.” Nor will Marx or Stalin
or Hitler satisfy that hunger. Jesus Christ

once said, and He is Truth Itself: ^‘Not in
bread alone doth man live but in every word
that proceedeth from the mouth of God.”
(Matt. 4:4). Man can taste or he can gorge
himself on the food of the flesh but it will

never satisfy, for it is only the food that comes

from the Spirit of God that will still the long-
ings of his heart. Saint Augustine was most

right when he wrote: ^'Thou hast made us for
Thyself, O Lord, and our hearts can find no
rest until they rest in Thee.” The only remedy

for society is a RETURN TO GOD—God must
again be enthroned in our hearts, in our homes,

in our courts, in fine, in our private and public

life. God must reign and we must serve; and
those who do serve will tell you happily that
to serve is to reign.

Now our forefathers founded this nation
upon the solid foundation of a firm belief in

God and an unshakable confidence in His

divine Providence. It was with hearts full of
hope and with God overhead that they sailed
from European ports and, once landed, that

they pushed on into the untamed vastness of

the New World. Many of them were looking for
an asylum where they could worship God in

keeping with their consciences. It was God
they were seeking, and each cabin that went

up was a little temple in which husband and

wife and children joined to praise the God of
all and to call His blessings down upon the
infant nation. The meeting-house was first
of all a house of prayer and then matters of

material welfare were discussed. Like the

early Christians, they invoked the blessings of

God upon their every undertaking. These men
—our fathers—had a true sense of values.



Let’s Build A Home 17

They knew that God must come first and man
second; that the spiritual welfare takes prece-

dence of the material well-being. And it was
in those days that our country prospered

—

spiritually, materially and politically. From a
handful of colonists it grew into a loosely

joined body that could challenge the mighty

British Empire. Their strength lay in God

and they were defending their God-given

rights of life, liberty and pursuit of happiness.

We suggest a thoughtful reading of the
Declaration of Independence and the memor-

able address of Patrick Henry, ‘'The War
Inevitable, March, 1775.” It will give an insight

into, and an appreciation of, the deeply re-

ligious spirit of our founders—they recognized
God and did not ostracize Him from their
daily lives, their struggles and successes, or

their politics.

And it is this same spirit upon which the
nation’s homes were founded. God was the
supreme Ruler of each home, over each heart

and hearth—and that is as it should be; and
where God reigned supreme. His Immaculate

Mother was enthroned as Queen. Founded
upon such an unshakable foundation, what

towers of strength the pioneer homes were
and what noble characters they produced! The

best and greatest in our land came from
homes where God’s dominion was recognized
and where religion was not just a Sunday
morning affair but was the very life of the
family. Whenever anything was to be decided,
God was invoked; in times of sickness, trials
and hardships, hearts and eyes were raised to

the Crucifix where they found both strength

and inspiration to carry on bravely and un-

flinchingly. We who enjoy the fruits of the
pioneering hardships of our forefathers cannot

realize the almost insurmountable obstacles

they had to meet and hurdle. It was not the
work of pigmies but of giants which carved
out this our United States from the untamed,
unexplored, unmapped stretches of wilderness
which extended unknown miles to the west.
If their homes had not been cradles of man-



18 Let’s Build A Home

hood and if they had not been inspired by
noble ideals they could never have accom-
plished the task. They found their strength
and ideal in God.
However, we do not wish to imply nor to

give the impression that our nascent country

had the appearance of a vast religious com-
munity where every one was a saint and where
there was nothing to mar the symphony of
praise being offered to God. Unhappily there
were evil men. Pioneer homes were productive
of villains as well as heroes, of Arnolds as
well as Washingtons, of Booths as well as

Lincolns. Who has not read the novels of
Zane Grey whence arises the awe and fear-
inspiring figure of the rustler, the stagecoach-

bandit, the claim-jumper, who, shooting from
the hip, could “bulls-eye” man or beast within
the range of one or two miles? We may
question the marksmanship of these rough
characters but we cannot deny that there
existed men who had dethroned God and had
either placed themselves, gold, furs, cattle, or

land on the pedestal. I wonder if we haven’t
their counterpart today in the racketeer, the

hi-jacker, and in the numberless ^little

CaBsars’ so glorified by the films! And on
the other hand there were the religious

fanatics whose witch-burnings and other

equally condemnable practices led to many
abuses and did more to harm than to further
the cause of religion and national well-being.

Between these extremes there was the good
Christian home which, as we have indicated,
cradled the men to whom we owe our existence
as the land of the free. Free themselves from

the slavery of the lower passions they could

and did hand on freedom to their posterity.

Look into the homes, into the lives of our

nation’s truly great men. There was nothing

there of that selfishness, that avarice, that

greed and lust for power, which characterizes

the lives of many of today’s demagogues.
Lincoln came from a poor wilderness cabin,

but it was a home; and his public life was just

one noble sacrifice for his country—a sacrifice



Let’s Build A Home 19

so tragically consummated by the assassin’s

bullet. He was great, not in the way the
world calls great, but with a greatness that

comes from within—a greatness of soul. Only
a truly great man could write and deliver the
‘'Gettysburg Address” or compose the famous

and well-known letter sent by the martyred

President to Mrs. Bixby. Lincoln is an out-

standing example, but who can number the
multitude of truly great souls formed, reared

and cultivated at the firesides of our truly

Christian homes? Thank God there are still
many such homes today in our land producing
gigantic characters; but no one can deny that

the home as an honored institution has
suffered terrifically under the assaults of

neo-paganism, godlessness and material philos-

ophies. The home must again take its place
as a venerated sanctuary, and the family, as

a most forceful unit for national stability,

peace, happiness and true prosperity, must

be re-established on the solid foundation of

religion. God must again reign over our
hearts and our homes and then He will reign
over our nation—and where He reigns there
we find peace and prosperity and the happi-
ness we are all striving after.

•

III. A Word on Marriage.

Now of all agencies the Catholic Church is
the one which has done the most to foster,
sanctify and to preserve the home and family.
Recognizing the fundamental and essential
need of the Christian family. Pope after Pope
through the long centuries of the Christian
era has from his watchtower in Rome kept
watch over the home and has sounded the
alarm at the approach of danger. But too
often have their alarms fallen on deaf ears.
Like the Divine Master whose spokesmen and
vicegerent they are, the Vicars of Christ
have met coldness and opposition, and have
even had to undergo persecution because of
their noble attempts to save society from its
own folly. Men did not believe Christ, so it is



20 Let’s Build A Home

hardly surprising that they do not believe His

Ambassadors; but it is to their own cost. The
Son of God once said: ‘‘He that heareth you
heareth me; and he that despiseth you,
despiseth me” and “he that believeth not shall
be condemned.” (Luke 10:16; Mark 16:16).
History bears out the truth of these words of

the divine Master—if we need anything to
substantiate the truth of His words. The
tragedy of individual lives, of society, and of

nations is a sad witness to man’s perversity

and persistent pride, for what is more prideful

than to prefer our word and our way to God’s ?
In viev^ of the conditions, needs, errors and

vices affecting the family and society in His

day, our late Holy Father, Pope Pius XI,

published His masterful Encyclical “On
Christian Marriage.” Grieving that a “great

number of men either entirely ignore or shame-
lessly deny the great sanctity of Christian

wedlock or even, relying on the false principles

of a new and utterly perverse morality, too
often trample it under foot,” the Pontiff felt

it his duty to raise his voice “on the nature

and dignity of Christian marriage, on the

advantages and benefits which accrue from it

to the family and to human society itself, on
the errors contrary to this most important

point of the Gospel teaching, on the vices

opposed to conjugal union, and lastly on the

principal remedies to be applied.”

The pages that follow are invaluable. It

would be well for all—Christian and non-
Christian, Catholic and non-Catholic—to pon-
der the basic truths contained therein. A
return to a sane and religious outlook on

marriage is imperative if we wish to save
society and our civilization. One of the most

disastrous scourges that ever swept our

country is the vice of divorce, which destroys

the home. Now the home is the base and
foundation of the state. It follows that we
must stop divorce or ruin the state which

cannot continue to exist if its base is allowed

to crumble and fall. While many people are
divorced and some of them make new homes.



Let’s Build A Home 21

the inevitable trend of divorce is to break up

many more homes than it builds and to reduce
notably the number of children. And when a
home is broken up the parents and children
are separated, and the sweet ties that bind

father and mother to their offspring and to

each other are broken forever—and what hap-
pens to the children ?

We must learn to approach marriage with
a different attitude of mind—^with a religious
attitude, for Christian marriage is a Sacra-

ment of the New Law. Let us repeat—man
is born to live in the world and not for the

world, and thus everything he does should

approach him to his last end: God. Now
marriage is not just an adventure of short

duration—it is a state of life. It is, if we
may put it this way, a vehicle by which hus-
band and wife and the children entrusted to

them go to God. Man and woman bound to-
gether in a sacred union by a generous sur-

render of their persons one to another for

the whole span of life mutually aid each other

in attaining to their last end and in guiding

their children. In the mind of the Divine

Institutor it is something permanent, some-

thing stable and not just a flash of passion.

This union, thoughtfully and seriously entered

into, God blesses with an abundance of grace

and helps to enable the parties to fulfil their

God-given duties. Too often nowadays mar-

riage is entered into without much thought
and, what is more tragic, when the parties
are in such a condition that they cannot think.

What can we hope for from such marriages?
And then there are the marriages contracted
with the thought that ‘Tf we don’t agree, we
can always get a divorce”—and if you have
the price, a divorce is scandalously easy to

obtain in our courts. With such a mind how
can the parties hope for or expect the peace

and happiness they are seeking? and what

kind of a home will they have ?
And how many marriages are not entered

into under the spell of a romantic moon? The
parties suddenly decide to run off to one of



22 Let’s Build A Home

our matrimonial marts and get married.
Without seeking the advice of anyone, without
a thought of the future, without a speck of

reason they plunge into what God intended
to be a permanent union. One of the most
important—in fact, the most important

—

investments a man has to make, he makes with
a fluttering heart instead of with a clear

head and solid reason. The heart must play
some part, we grant, but it should not sup-
plant the reason—supplement, not supplant.
Would you think of investing a fortune in a
certain corporation because they send out

beautiful engraved announcements or because

the president of the concern has a pleasing

personality ? And supposing the company was
sound, you would hardly invest your all with-

out seeking the advice of friends or business

associates. Why invest your life with less
care and consideration? A large percentage
of divorces are traceable to excessive haste.

‘‘A young man takes a sudden fancy to a girl.
It is probably kindled by her complexion, her

contour, or the radiance of her eyes. A whirl-
wind courtship ends in a sudden elopement.

They awake from the honeymoon to discover

that they are as different from one another

as day is from night. The divorce court will

not be idle long.” (O’Brien, “Faith of

Millions.”)

If marriages were entered into with more

leisure and thought there would be no need

for many to lament afterwards: “If I had only
stopped to think! If I had used my head in-
stead of my heart I would have seen how
blind and foolish I was! I would have real-

ized that character, disposition, intelligence,

understanding, sympathy and unselfishness

are the things that count in making for the

happiness of the home and the permanence of

the union, and not the texture and color of

skin, radiance of eyes, contours, athletic

ability and other pleasing but superficial

items.”

No one has yet found a satisfactory substi-
tute for prudence and common sense. In a



Let’s Build A Home 23

matter of this importance the young* people

should exhaust every bit they have and draw

on that of their pastors, their parents, friends

and associates. The words of a ditty, popular

a generation ago, seem very apropos here:

‘‘Will some one kindly tell me.

Will some one let me know.
How I picked a lemon in the garden of love
Where I thought only peaches grow?”

IV. Don’s Party.

With these few thoughts in mind let us go

back to dad and mother who are awaiting the
arrival of Don and his friends. Placing a
vase of flowers, mother looks over at dad

comfortably hidden behind the evening paper.

“They ought to be coming in pretty soon.”

“Oh, it’s early yet. And you know how
long it takes some girls to get ready. Of
course, you were an exception

”

“Now, dad, no remarks.”

“Did you ever hear the story told about the

famous American humorist. Bill Nye?”
“I don’t think so.”

“Well as a young man he called one Sunday
afternoon upon his lady friend to take her for
a buggy ride. He waited in the parlor for
what seemed to him an eternity—probably a
matter of an hour. At last the young lady
appeared, groomed with meticulous nicety.
She had just opened the door to go out to the
waiting surrey when her eyes fell upon the
lean and patient horse. ‘What!’ she ex-

claimed indignantly, ‘do you expect me to ride
behind such a skinny nag?’ ‘But, my dear,’
replied Bill Nye, ‘when I arrived here this

afternoon that was a fat horse’ ”!

And struggling to keep a straight face,
mother rose gallantly to the defence of her

sex when the door broke open and the invaders
invaded.

“Here we are,” announced Don. “Dad and
mother, meet the crowd.”

There followed the usual round of introduc-

tions, hellos, pleased-to-meet-you’s, pleasant-



24 Let’s Build A Home

ries, etc., and under the charge of their hostess
the young ladies were led out to renew lip-
stick and rouge and to see to the other inevit-
able fixings-up that feminine vanity makes
so imperative. The fellows were soon at
home. Pipes and cigarettes were lit and with

the host’s permission, Walt, the ‘professor,’

invaded the library while Don and Jerry tried
out a new arrangement on the fiddle and
piano. Dad had the others cornered and was
repeating his Bill Nye story.
“Well Don, what’s the program?” asked

mother as she entered with her Venuses.

“Oh, we can roll up the rug and dance.
There are some good orchestras on the air

tonight. Of course, that’s just a suggestion.

What do you say, Dick?”
“O. K. wth me. . . .”

“Hey, Don!” broke in the ‘Professor,’ “can

we look through this family album?”
“Sure. I don’t think the folks will object.

Will you, dad?”

“Of course not. Go ahead.”
And who does not like to look through

family albums? They all made a rush for it
and soon, album pedestaled on a hassock, they

were in a huddle over scenes of another day.

.... It was a veritable babel of “Ohs, aws,
how kuaint,” etc., and each change of scene
brought its need of explanation which Don did
his best to supply. There was the old stuc-
coed homestead with its woodshed in the rear,

an institution whose disappearance in favor

of the garage and the oil-burner marked a sad

passing, for it was in the old woodshed that
many valuable lessons were impressed on the
minds—and anatomies—of young America.
Then there were picnic scenes, family groups,

uncles and aunts, wedding pictures and, oh,

how lovely the brides looked in their high-
necked, hooped gowns and how gallant the
grooms with their very stiff collars and flow-

ing moustaches. And here was an old daguer-
reotype of grandma when she was a girl, and

all the rest that a typical album should con-

tain



Let’s Build A Home 25

Dad and mom stood and watched the group
of typical young Americans. Ranging in age

from 16 to 21, they represented that most

important age period during which youth

passes into manhood and womanhood and

strikes out alone to face the world. They

wondered if the youngsters before them, so

engrossed in souvenirs of the past, were pre-

pared to face the future. Like the rest of

young America they danced, they smoked,

kept rather late hours, drank on occasion and

sought entertainment and recreation. Though

young in experience they all had, like other

young people of their age, tasted something

of the emptiness of the philosophy which

taught them to “eat, drink, and be merry, for

tomorrow we die”; they all recognized the
senselessness of a drifting and purposeless

life. They had ambitions—they wanted to get
somewhere and “having fun” wasn’t the goal

in life. No, they were not going “sour” on

life, but they were looking for something

more substantial, something more permanent,
something more reliable than the materialist,

the neo-pagan had to offer. Even though
most of them had been trained up in Christian
homes and grounded in Christian principles
they paused thoughtfully on the threshold of

adult life. There was something more than
curiosity in the “whys” they were asking.

Their parents had taught them that this or
that was “not nice” or positively evil. Now
they wanted to know why, and it was their
right to ask. Not that they had any right to

question authority but they wanted a rule, a
standard to go by when, after they had left
their homes or their parents had died, they
were faced with problems or situations to
solve. Seriously religious and thoughtful Chris-

tian parents could and did give satisfactory

answers; but what about the broad-minded,
the enlightened, the “intelligent” parents ?

What can they tell their children when they
ask, why? In her splendid pamphlet, Alice
Kelly gives their answer to the childrens’ why:
“Here is the world, and here is life. Do what



26 Let’s Build A Home

you can about it. We can tell you our own
experience; we can warn you that some things
are ‘not nice’ that other things are ‘wicked,’

that still others will make you ill—^but we can
give you no good and sufficient reasons why
you should be ‘nice’ nor why you should pre-
serve your health, other than those fallible

ones of social expediency. We have no rule
of life to give you. We believe we have
brought you into a world which has not much
to offer you, and since we have emancipated
ourselves from the ‘old beliefs’ we cannot hold
out to you any hope of anything after this

existence—so you must do the best you can.
We can only scold or weep or agonize or
punish, when you get lost in the fog into
which we ourselves have sent you.” And with
that ‘bon voyage’ they launch their offspring

on the sea of life. Can we be surprised at the
number of shipwrecks ? Even though they
get to “know their way around” at an early
age, is it fair to send them out without a

compass to an unknown destination?
Did you ever watch a ship being fitted out

for an expedition? Nothing is overlooked;

every emergency is provided for. There are

charts, compasses, sextants, sounding instru-

ments and every other instrument of which

there might be a possible need. The captain

or leader of the expedition hopes for the best

but prepares for the worst. Provisions of all

kinds are stored on board—foods, clothing,
medicines and everything that will contribute

to the 'welfare of the crew and the success of

the voyage. Now, can parents be less wise,
less provident, in launching their children on

the adventurous and no less dangerous expe-

dition of life? Can they afford to overlook
any possibility where the successful voyage of

the child is concerned?

And the children are demanding this guid-
ance, this direction from the parents. They

want a rule of life—a rule, a standard, by
which they can live happy and successful

lives. When they get out on the storm-tossed
sea of life, how are they going to conduct



Let^s Build A Home 27

themselves if they have no tried and depend-

able rule to go by? a rule that will care for

every emergency and pull them through the

tight places? Catholic parents have that rule

and those of them who live by it themselves
and hand it on to their children live happily

themselves and make for the success and
happiness of their children. Alice Kelly re-

lates the following: “I had a very dear friend,

mother of a large family, who lived through
the adolescence of her children with undis-

turbed placidity. Her relation with her entire
family was one of the most beautiful things

I have ever known. She said: ‘No, I do not

worry about the children. They go to confes-

sion and Communion regularly and they all
have strong Faith. They cannot be doing

anything wrong^”

And the writer knows a large family of ten
children. Based on the solid foundation of

Faith, that home was a model to imitate. And
as the children reached marriageable age they

married and their homes are reproductions of
the parent home. Religion, mutual respect

and love of parents for each other and for the

children make of these homes little heavens,
little havens of happiness where God and
love reign supreme. And today, the aged
parents, like wise admirals, have retired to a

small home where they live quietly and hap-
pily, contented that they have done their God-

given duties by raising up honorable citizens

for the state and for heaven. They continue

to follow the affairs of their children but with-

out anxiety or fear for they had “fitted’’ them
out wisely for the voyage to the home port.
But to get back to our group. . . . Dad and

mother are brought out of their reverie by

the sound of the door bell. They start for
the door but Don is ahead of them.

“I’ll go; it’s probably Father Carl.” And
opening the door he admitted the cherished

friend of the family—a friend who had ever
been loyal and who had given invaluable aid
in guiding and directing the children. Dad
and mom felt that they could never repay his



28 Let’s Build A Home

kindness. Brought up to respect the Priest

and the Priesthood, they reverenced their

visitor and had always taught their children

the same respect and devotion. They were

waiting for him as he entered.

‘‘Good evening, Father Carl. Welcome to

our home.”

“Good evening. It’s nice to see you again.

Don warned me about this gang ”

And by this time the gang had encircled the
priest and hosts. Most of them knew Father
Carl and loved him. He was soon introduced
to the others.

“Don, take Father’s things. And, Father,

what is your pleasure?”

“Well everything was so quiet when I came
in that I didn’t think the youngsters had

arrived as yet,” answered Father as he set-

tled himself in his favorite arm chair near
the fireplace.

“Now, Father. We can settle down and be
quiet once in a while,” returned Larry. ‘We
were looking through the family album and

imagining just how things were back in those
days.”

“I imagine they must have been rather dull

even in the gay nineties,” broke in Mary Eliza-
beth. “They didn’t have the radio, the talkies,

the automobile, and a lot of other things that

go to make life interesting.”

Father Carl smiled. “That’s true. They

didn’t have as much as we have today but I
think they enjoyed life as much if not more
than we do.”

“That calls for an explanation,” rejoined

Mary Elizabeth.

“Well,” started the Priest as he looked at

the youthful audience literally at his feet

—

some on the floor, others on footstools and

hassocks, “do you vivacious, peppy, full-of-life,

people ever stay in one place or stick to one

thing long enough to enjoy it? You’re rest-

less—always on the go from one place or
thing to another. Isn’t that about it?”



Let’s Build A Home 29

'‘You’re right, Father, but it’s the spirit of

the age—speed, and take pleasure like every-
thing else on the wing.” This from Joe.

"Now tell me, do you find satisfaction in

such a hurried, such a superficial existence?”

"Not real satisfaction,” contributed Walt.

"We may have some fun and get something
of a kick out of it, but it really isn’t satis-

fying.”

"Aw, he’s just an old kill-joy,” cut in Larry

good-naturedly. "He wants everybody to

settle down and be real quiet and read all

the time. That’s why we call him the pro-
fessor.”

"Extremes are always bad,” said the Priest.

"In medio stat virtus.”

"I know what that means,” boasted Don.
"It means that if you think about, dream
about, talk about and eat cream pie all the

time you get sick and tired of it.”

"In other words,” took up the priest, "we
must practice moderation in all things. What
is that saying .... ?”

"All work and no play makes Jack a dull
boy,” spoke up Irene.

"But that works both ways,” defended Walt.

"Some people want to play all the time and
never get down to serious reading.”

"And some people want to read all the time
and never play,” went on Irene. "Whoever
marries you will always know where to find
you. She will just have to look for a book

and
”

"Don’t mind them. Father. It goes on like

that for hours,” explained Don. "They’ll

probably wind up by having you marry them

one of these days.”

"Good! What the world needs today is
good Catholic marriages or, to say the same

thing in another way, good Christian homes

and families.”

"But to get back to this question of run-

ning around and restlessness—what would
you suggest?” asked Paul.



30 Let’s Build A Home

‘‘Moderation for one thing,” replied the

Priest. “Do you think it is necessary to go
out every evening?”

“If you had the kind of home I’ve got, you
wouldn’t care to stay around even one

evening a week,” answered Paul. “You see.
Father, my folks have been divorced and
married a couple times and, well, there’s not

much home left for us kids. We just come
and go more or less as we please and they
don’t worry a whole lot about it. If I hadn’t

met up with Don and his gang I wonder where
I would be drifting by this time.”

“I’m sorry to hear that about your home.

Come over and see me tomorrow and we’ll
have a talk about it. Maybe I can help.”
“But I’m not a Catholic, Father.”

“That’s all right. Drop over any time.”

“Thank you. Father, I will.”

V. Let’s Build A Home.
Noticing that some of his disciples were

getting a bit restless. Father Carl asked Don
to get a large sheet of paper and a crayon.

“We’re going to play a new game,” he an-
nounced. “I want all of you to help me build
a home. I thought of it on the way over—

a

conversation with a young couple about to be

married gave me the idea.”
“Who’s going to get married?” questioned

Alida with typical feminine inquisitiveness.

“Rex and Catherine,” replied the Priest.

“I think you all know them. They’re quite a
popular couple. . . . But to get back to our

game—we’re going to build a home and each
one must contribute his part.”

And spreading out the sheet of paper on
the little table provided by dad, he continued:

“We’ve mentioned family, home, marriage,

divorce, restlessness, study, play, radio, good

old days. ... Now let’s all pool our ideas and
see if we can put up a model home.”

“First of all, before beginning the actual

construction work, what do you do?”

“Get a loan from the Government,” cracked

Larry.



Let’s Build A Home 31

‘‘Go to the foot of the class, young man,”

smiled Father Carl. “And now that we have

successfully negotiated our loan, what is the

next move?”
“Pick out the lot, I suppose,” offered Alida.

“And then what?”
“Clear away stumps, brush or whatever else

may have accumulated and then start dig-

ging,” this from Don.

“Didn’t you forget something?” asked the

Professor.

“Oh, are you here?” bantered Irene. “What

did we forget?”
“How about a plan?”
“Good for you,” exclaimed the Priest.

“What a bunch of builders we are! WeVe
started to dig and haven’t even a plan to go

by.”

“I wonder. Father, if that isn’t the trouble

with our lives—^we either haven’t or don’t
follow a definite plan,” said Jerry quite seri-

ously and thoughtfully.

“That’s just what mother and I were talk-

ing about yesterday,” added Don. “Have you

thought about it any more, mother?”

“Yes, Don, quite a bit and I think Father

will give you your answer as the building

goes on.”

“Of course, we can’t build or live without
a plan,” agreed Father Carl. “It would be

as senseless as to launch a ship without rudder,

compass or destination. It doesn’t take much
to figure out just how successful a voyage
that ship would have

”

“Or how fantastic some of our sky scrapers
would look if they were constructed without

a plan—just haphazard piles of masonry. ...”
“Like the block houses we used to build

when we were kids ”

“That wasn’t so long ago, the way you
act! . . . .”

Remarks and “cracks” piled up and without
dampening their spirit and humor. Father
guided them back to their task of building.
“Now that we all recognize the need of a

plan, let’s get on with our building. Here,



32 Let^s Build A Home

Walt, you’re an artist and an architect. Sketch
the home as we proceed.
'The first thing, as was suggested, is to

pick out our lot. I don’t think anyone would
deliberately choose the slums to locate his
home—usually people look for a quiet and
respectable neighborhood. How about Glen
Oak Addition?”

"0. K. with me. . . .” "too far from town. . .”

etc., etc.

"Aw, let’s not argue about it. Glen Oak
will do. Father. What’s next?”

"We have to clear the ground of stumps
and accumulated rubbish.”

"And did you ever see an empty lot that
didn’t have piles of this or that or bill posters

on it?” observed Joe.

"Now before a young man and maid go
about getting married and forming their home,

what must they get rid of?”
"Bad habits,” offered Marilyn.
"Anything that may pop up later on and

spoil the marriage,” suggested Alida. "Just

like the stumps in the empty lot—if you don’t
get them out, root and all, they may damage
the sewers and plumbing later on.”

"Good. Anything else ?”

"Well I think that if you scrape away self-
ishness you’ve prepared your ground pretty

well for the big step,” summarized Walt.

"Splendid! Selfishness has absolutely no

place in the home. Man and wife must live
for each other and for the children—and the
children for the parents. All must work to-
gether for the good of the home. Such self-

sacrifice is the noblest and most far-reaching

of all virtues. It is just another word for

true love; and without love, what is a home?”

VI. Christ, the Cornerstone.

"If you are satisfied that the ground is

cleared, we’ll get down to digging and laying
the foundation. Now I think you will all admit
that the foundation is the most important part

of the house. What do you suppose would



Let’s Build A Home 33

happen to the Empire State Building if the

foundation was not deep and solid?”
“It would probably be all over Fifth Avenue

by this time,” came in Dick.
“It never would have gone up as high as it

did if they hadn’t sunk a good base in the first

place,” offered Jerry.

“Right. Now our lives are the same. If
they are not solidy ‘foundationed’ they will

never rise—they will be worthless.”
“Didn’t Our Lord say something like that

—

something about a house built on a rock?”

asked Alida.

“Yes, He ended His beautiful sermon on the
mount with that simile. Saint Matthew has
recorded His words for us in the 7th Chapter

of his Gospel
”

“Here it is. Father,” announced Walt and

he proceeded to read: “Every one therefore

that heareth these my words, and doth them,
shall be likened to a wise man that built his
house upon a rock. And the rain fell, and
the floods came, and the winds blew, and they

beat upon that house and it fell not, for it

was founded on a rock. And every one that
heareth these my words, and doth them not,
shall be like a foolish man that built his house
upon the sand, and the rain fell, and the floods

came, and the winds blew, and they beat upon

that house and it fell, and great was the fall

thereof.”

“There’s your foundation,” concluded the

Priest: “And who is the rock?”
“Christ Himself,” answered Irene.

“Good. Walt, there’s the first, the corner-

stone of our foundation.”

And Walt sketched a block and inscribed it:

Christ

“Now then,” continued Father Carl, “Christ
is the Cornerstone of our edifice : He should
and must be the rock upon which our indi-
vidual lives are built and upon which our



34 Let’s Build A Home

homes are founded. After the Last Supper
Our Lord was addressing His Apostles for the
last time and in the course of His remarks He
said of Himself: ‘I am the way and the truth
and the life. No man cometh to the Father
but by me.’ (John 14:6).”

“In other words,” observed Joe, “if we want
to go to heaven we must go through Christ.”

“Right.”

“Then He is the guide, the rule, we are
looking for,” declared Don.

“Right again. Take Christ out of our lives
and out of our world and what would we have ?
Our age is living on borrowed Christianity
now. The only thing noble or decent in the
lives of those who have rejected Christ is
what they have retained of Christianity. Take
that away and what will you have?”
“The paganism towards which we are

drifting at an alarming speed to-day,” re-

sponded Walt.

“How are you going to stop the drift.
Father?” asked Paul. “We’re being pulled

or carried along almost against our will. We
were born into an almost de-Christianized

world and almost imperceptibly we take on
the character of our surroundings.”

“Well now you’ve opened up a big topic for
discussion which I think we had better leave
for some other time. Right now, to answer

you in a word—cling to the rock which is
Christ, follow Him as your Guide and set Him
up as your Model, and you can’t go wrong.

If you cling to Him all the forces of Hell can
not overcome you, for with Him you are a
majority. One of the things that offends

God the most is that we do not put enough
trust in Him. You do not hesitate to trust a
dear friend, a pal, with your life: why not
God? He was Friend enough to die for us;
He came down to save us and to bring us the
force and strength to meet and overcome all

the obstacles along the way of life—^why not
trust Him? Sometimes when faced with the
trials and hardships of life we recoil, we feel
how utterly powerless we are of ourselves to



Let’s Build A Home 35

fight against the overwhelming forces of sin,

injustice and paganism—we feel ourselves
dragged into a whirlpool. It is especially then

that we must reach out and grasp His hand
and we can be sure that He will guide us
surely and safely. Christ came not only to

pay the awful price of our redemption but

also to lead us to God. He is our Model to
imitate and our Guide to trust and follow.”

‘'Now you’re answering my. question,” inter-

rupted Don, “but could you be just a hit more

practical ?”

“Yes, Father. Christ lived some 2000 years

ago and conditions were quite different then

from what they are to-day. How is He our
Model and how can we imitate Him to-day?”
asked Joe.

“If you want to double for a great actor or

actress, what do you do?” asked the Priest.

“Well,” answered Larry, “first of all you

have to know him very well and then you
have to learn to do everything just as he

does.”

“Or, in other words,” took up Father Carl,

“you have to reproduce him; you have to live

him. All right. Now Christ is our Model.
We must study Him and see just how He
acted in the face of the vicissitudes, the trials,

the joys, the disappointments and the various

circumstances of life.”

“Yes, but. Father, we can’t all go out and
preach the Gospel. Fathers and mothers have

to care for their homes and families and we
work and go to school. How can He be our
Model in these things?” asked Mary Elizabeth.
“And, too, Christ never went swimming or

golfing or to dances
”

“And He never drove a car ”

These and other remarks that followed

showed that they were really thinking and
that they were seeking a rule, a guide. Father

Carl reached out his hand:

“Here, Walt, give me that Bible. Now let’s
all page through it together. It’s the most in-
teresting and valuable book we possess and it
contains the answers to all the possible



36 Let’s Build A Home

Vhys’ of our earthly existence. It is a most
consoling friend and, in addition, it is the

greatest love-story ever written, for it is the

story of the love of a merciful and forgiving

God for His fickle people. The Book of Gen-
esis—the first Book of the Bible—begins with
our coming out from God and the Apocalypse

—

the last Book—ends with the coming of Christ
who is to gather us back to God ”

Answering questions and giving a running

commentary on the early Books, the Psalms

and the Book of Wisdom he came to the Gos-
pels. They were very interested to find that

the first and second Chapters of the Book of

Wisdom, written some thousands of years ago,

contained an explanation of the world events

of our own time: in the first Chapter is set
forth God’s benevolence towards man and in
the second there is an analysis of the philoso-

phy of life which man will frame when he
revolts from God. (We suggest a careful
study of these two Chapters.)

‘‘Gosh, I didn’t know the Bible contained
so many interesting things,” confessed Jerry.

“Sure, you can learn a lot and spend many
an enjoyable evening reading the Bible. Not
so long ago it was the custom for the whole
family to gather together each evening to

read the Bible. It had a definite influence on

their lives and made them great men ”

“Good for you, ‘Professor,’ ” approved

Father Carl. “Yes, the Bible and Religion

had a very definite influence on the homes and
families of our ancestors. We should return
to the custom. But to get back to Christ as
our Model. The Gospels contain not only a
life of Our Lord but a picture of Him. If
you want to learn to know Him, just look at
His portrait in the accounts of the sacred

writers. Someone mentioned dances. Well,

it doesn’t mention that Christ ever attended

any but He did go to the wedding feast of
Cana ”

“And that’s where He worked His first
miracle,” put in Larry,



Let’s Build A Home 37

‘‘Yes,” took up the Priest, “at the request

of His thoughtful Mother who sought to save
her hosts from embarrassment He changed
water into wine to add to the cheerfulness of

the feast. Christ was not gloomy. He was
very cheerful, friendly and obliging and we
can suppose that He attended other social
gatherings where by the charm, the dignity

and nobility of His manners, the kindliness

and thoughtfulness of His disposition He ex-
emplified all that a Christian gentleman

should be—and what a lady should be, too, for
the virtues and nobility of Christ’s character

were shared by the most charming of all

women. His own Immaculate Mother Mary.
Now you can attend your social affairs with
this picture of Christ before your minds. It

will inspire you to act as gentlemen and ladies

should and your activities will take on a new
character and give much greater enjoyment.
Not long ago I was deeply moved at a public

dance given by a Catholic young people’s

club. The dance was about to begin when the
president of the club held up his hand for

silence and going on his knees led the Hail

Mary which the other Catholics present and
kneeling answered, unashamed and unembar-

rassed, though there were quite a number of

non-Catholics present.* Of course, you can’t

do that at every social affair but it will illus-

trate what I mean. Take Jesus and Mary
with you when you go out and you can’t go
wrong.”

“Gosh, that’s ideal. Father, and the idea is

swell; but what about all the temptations that
come up when we go out?—and there are
many ...” asked Don.
“Yes, the temptations are many and violent

and it is easy to fall—and you would fall if
Christ didn’t help you. But here again He is
not only our unfailing help but also our

Model, for Christ Himself was tempted in the
desert. Bead Chapter 4 of Saint Matthew and
learn from Christ Himself how to battle and

This actually happened in the ballroom of a
large hotel in one of our large midwestern cities.



38 Let’s Build A Home

conquer temptations. And always remember:
you are not alone in the fight: Christ is always

there and with Him you can do and overcome
all.”

And in answer to the many questions, the
Priest proceeded to show how Christ is the
Model for all in every age and condition of
life, whether hardware merchant, insurance
broker, woodworker, student, factory laborer

or professional man, married or single. All

classes can find their inspiration in Him who
is truly all to all. As a child and growing
boy He is the perfect example of obedience to
parents and lawful superiors. And as a
young man we see Him working in Joseph’s
carpenter shop. At the end of the long and
hard day’s work He finishes His simple meal,
helps Mother Mary and then occasionally seeks
the companionship of some of the other young
men of the village. He did not live an isolated
life but took part in the social affairs, the

recreations and the gatherings of the villagers.

To them. He was the son of Mary and the
carpenter, Joseph, and as such He attended
the Synagogue and associated with those

around Him. He was perfectly human and
humanly perfect. God and Man, He adapted
Himself perfectly to the life conditions sur-

rounding Him and filled perfectly His role of
Son of man. And in all these circumstances
He is a model for us—parents and children
alike. He did not rebel at the injustice of His
fellow men, at the evils of the day, but accepted

them as dispositions of His Father’s will and

with indomitable courage he carried on. When
later on in His public life He is insulted, out-
raged, and made to undergo terrific suffer-
ings, He bears all patiently and resignedly. He
thunders and drives the money changers out
of the Temple when it is a question of His
Father’s honor; and He is moved—even to
tears—when it is a matter of human misery
and suffering. Yes, Jesus is our Model, our

Life. He is the Eock upon which we must
build our lives. Father, mother and child can

all find their guide in Him and a home “foun-



Let’s Build A Home 39

dationed” on the solid and deeply sunk rock of

Christ, will raise high—even to the highest
heavens; and like the Church which is founded

on Christ, the gates of Hell will not prevail

against it.

VII. Religion and the Home.

^‘Now I think we are ready for our second
stone,” continued Father Carl. “Any sug-
gestions?”

“Well Christ is the Cornerstone and we
must base our lives on Him so I suppose His
doctrine would be our second stone,” reasoned

Walt.

“Yes, but give us one word that takes in
all our relation with God and man.”

“Morality,” offered Anne.

“Dogma,” this from Theresa.

“Philosophy,” suggested Don.

“How about calling it religion?” demanded
Joe.

“That’s it—religion,” took up Father Carl.
“We’ll call that our second stone, Walt.”

And Walt added it to the first. . . .

Christ Religion

“Now, what is religion?” asked Father Carl.
“A system of faith and worship,” answered

Irene.

“Belief in God,” contributed Jerry laconic-
ally.

“Here’s a definition I ran across the other
day,” offered Walt. ‘Ht’s the complexus of
our duties and relations to God and to man.”
“That sums it up pretty well; but, strictly

speaking, religion has God for its object.”
“I know. Father, but if you adore God on

Sunday and treat your fellows unjustly the
rest of the week, I don’t think you have much
religion,” commented Dick.
“In other words, religion consists in a be-

lief in and a worship of God and fair treat-
ment of your fellow men. Is that it?”



40 Let’s Build A Home

‘‘Well, when we were going through the
Bible I read that Christ said that the whole

Law and Prophets were included in a double
command to love God and neighbor. That
would be my idea of religion,” said Paul.
From the general discussion that followed

we glean that religion is not only something to
be believed but something to be lived

;
not only

a code of dry beliefs to be taken out on Sunday
morning and put away nicely for the rest of
the week but a definite way of living, of
dealing with God and man. Essentially, re-
ligion is the complexus of our relations and

duties to God, but practically it also includes

or comprises our contacts with our fellow men.

It is, in a word, a composite of faith or belief

and practice.

Man must worship. There is in him an
imperious necessity of worship—a necessity
to practice some religion. Do away with the
true God and man must replace Him with one
of his own invention. Man realizes—and
rightly—^that he is insufficient in himself; he
must have a god: either recognize the true

God or make one. Man is looking for com-
munion with something beyond and above his

individual self, and this search cannot end nor

the longings be satisfied in anything created.

Nothing in nature can or will satisfy the soul

which hungers for God who alone can fill it

—

for God is the food of the soul. We have all
experienced this insufficiency of nature and

the need for God. And when faced with the
towering adversities of life, to whom can we
turn? We can only cry out with the Psalmist:
“Take hold of arms and shield: rise up to

help me. Bring out the sword and shut up the

way against them that persecute me: say to
my soul: I am thy salvation.” (Psalm 34:2-3).
We can be as bold and brazen as we will in

denying His existence—insane, the Psalmist
calls it (Psalm 13)—^but we need God and we
cannot do without religion, which is the way

to God, unless we wish to be miserable here

and hereafter. And unless the home is sus-
tained by a love of and belief in the one true



Let’s Build A Home 41

God, the least wind of adversity, the ‘'huff

and puff” of Satan, will infallibly blow it

down. At best, married life has its many
problems and difficulties; devoid of God and

religion, parents cannot hope to meet and solve

them satisfactorily. And very often, homes,
threatened with wreckage due to some mis-

understanding or some real problem, have been

spared such tragedy by the helps which re-

ligion affords. No one can deny the salutary
effect of religion on the individual with its

logical effects on the home and society. Let

us return to sanity by a return to God and the

faithful practice of religion.

In his pleasing manner. Father Carl had

supplemented the more serious remarks with

stories, relations of experiences, and thus had

aroused and sustained their interest, even

calling from them accounts of experiences,

anecdotes, conversions, etc. However, they

were not a quiet group. They were up and

down, moving about and munching on the fruit

and candies so thoughtfully set about the room

by the hostess. Dad and mother took part in
the discussions but they preferred to remain

in the background and leave the direction in

the capable hands of their revered friend.

The old question of one religion being as
good as another was brought up and discussed.
It was dismissed as being absurb, insane and
illogical. A little thoughtful and sane reason-
ing will demonstrate that. And someone
brought up the accusation that the Catholic

Church is old-fashioned and behind the times.
An accusation which is equally ridiculous for
the Catholic Church is the only social body

that has been able to live through the changing

ages since its divine foundation and to meet

the varying demands of each period. She

alone holds the solution for today’s ills, and

after today’s governments, man-made religions
and other human societies have gone back to
the dust, she will still be solving tomorrow’s

problems, for she is not teaching man-made
doctrine but, with Saint Paul she can say,

“Not I but the Lord. ...” (1 Cor. 7:10).



42 Let’s Build A Home

VIII. More About Marriage.

These discussions on belief in God and re-
ligion as fundamental led quite naturally into

a discussion of one of the basic and crying

problems of our age: marriage, which Father

Carl proposed as the third stone in the foun-

dation.

Christ Religion Marriage

Marriage can be and is one of man's greatest

blessings and joys and yet so terribly often it

turns into tragedy. And why? Because it is
not looked at in the light of the God who insti-
tuted it. It goes without saying that you

cannot have a happy home without a happy
marriage, and you will never have a happy

marriage unless it is approached and gone into

with the proper attitude of mind—and the
modern attitude is not the proper attitude! Let

me suggest again a thorough and thoughtful
reading of the invaluable Encyclical of Pope

Pius XI on the subject where he points out
what marriage is and should be and the

modern evils opposed to it.*

Before the enlightened moderns formijiated

their very convenient theories, Christian

marriage was looked upon as something

sacred—as a holy union which bound the
parties to each other ‘‘until death do us part.”

The words still find place in the ceremony but

do the bride and bridegroom realize what they

are promising? And too: “for better or for
worse.” How bad is “worse?” And how
“worse” does it have to become to serve as an

excuse for severing relations? The writer

knows of a case where the husband was

granted a divorce because his quite-a-bit-

smaller wife kicked his shins. The judge

suggested boxing gloves but, nevertheless,

The America Press, 53 Park Place, New York,
published a splendid translation in 1936 with

questions and references.



Let’s Build A Home 43

granted the divorce. Everything was legal

but we wonder just how the divine Judge
would decide such a case; or rather, how will
He decide it on the last day?
Like many other things that are sacred in

character and should demand reverence,

marriage is considered by many merely as a
means to satisfy the animal in man. Must

everything be sacrificed to the all-devouring

passions? Love, home, family, children, re-

ligion—and yes, even God—must either be
crushed underneath or pushed aside when the
passions demand satisfaction. Poor man! And
when will he be satisfied? When will his
passions be appeased? One, two, three . . . .

how many ‘‘marriages”? Saint Jerome, writing
on the divorce evil in his day, stated that there

was living in Rome a woman who had married
her twenty-third husband, she herself being

his twenty-first wife. Conditions, thank God,

have not become quite so bad to-day, but, will

we soon have to lament with Tertullian that
“divorce is the fruit of marriage?” We know
what happened to the powerful Roman
Empire. As a logical consequence of the riot
of divorce and immorality, of infanticide and

childlessness, which followed the stripping of

marriage of its sacred character, Rome had no
Romans to fight for her and she went down to
her destruction. In an adres’s to the members
of a graduating class at Notre Dame Univer-
sity, the Honorable Joseph Ransdell urged that

we “take this lesson to heart and apply it to
our own times. Simultaneous with the change
in the sacred character of the Roman marriage
came the belief that the marriage tie could be
broken; and once this idea was prevalent, fre-
quent divorce became only a matter of time.
As soon as the seal of religion was removed
from marriage, it became a mere transient
union. . . . The same is true of modem times.
As long as the Catholic view of marriage was
accepted throughout Christian countries, and
its sacramental character acknowledged, di-

vorce was unknown. But when the specious
doctrine that marriage was a civil contract, or



44 Let’s Build A Home

civil status, in which the Church had no con-
cern, was promulgated by the early reformers,
the sanctity and indisolubility of that relation
was denied. . .
The Church has ever considered and will

ever consider marriage as something sacred

—

something beyond the power of any human
law or human perversity. She teaches to-day
as she has always taught, that marriage is a

sacred and permanent union; and in this she

is only respecting and repeating the words of

the divine Master who, replying to the ques-

tion of the Pharisees, ‘Ts it lawful for a man
to put away his wife for every cause?”, said:
‘‘Have ye not read that he who made man
from the beginning made them male and
female? And he said: For this cause shall
a man leave father and mother, and shall
cleave to his wife and they shall be two in one

flesh. Therefore now they are not two but
one flesh. What therefore God hath joined
together, let no man put asunder.” (Matt.
19 : 4-6 ).

In every marriage there are two elements:

the divine and the human. God instituted it

as a Sacrament and formulated the laws

governing it; and man enters into the contract
by a surrender, or rather, by a union of wills

and bodies. Now, on His part, the divine
Lawgiver does not force the wills of the parties

—they are free to enter into the union or not

—

but once they have entered into it they must

abide by His all-wise rulings. Man cannot
without dire and tragic results attempt to

legislate for Almighty God or turn the sacred

bond into a vehicle to serve his perverse

purposes.

Listing the blessings of matrimony as off-

spring, conjugal fidelity and the Sacrament,

Saint Augustine summarizes very succinctly

the purpose and the whole doctrine of

Christian marriage. He is quoted by Pope
Pius in his Encyclical:

“By conjugal fidelity it is provided that

that there should be no carnal intercourse



Let’s Build A Home 45

outside the marriage bond with another
man or woman; with regard to offspring

,

that children should be begotten of love,

tenderly cared for and educated in a re-
ligious atmosphere; finally, in its sacra-

mental aspect, that the marriage bond
should not be broken and that a husband
or wife, if separated, should not be joined

to another even for the sake of offspring.

This we regard as the law of marriage by
which the fruitfulness of nature is adorned
and the evil of incontinence is restrained.”

A thoughtful reading and re-reading of these
words of the holy Doctor will shed a brilliant
light on today’s attitude towards marriage and
will serve as a guide or standard for those
either interested in the problems of marriage
or contemplating the step. Based upon such
a doctrine, the home will rest securely; but,
robbed of its sacred character and considered
only as a means of gratifying the animal or
serving selfish ends, marriage will serve as a
very unstable foundation and the home, totter-
ing from the very beginning, will soon crash.

IX. Parenthood, Parents and the Home.

‘‘Christ, religion, marriage,” read Father
Carl as he surveyed Walter’s plan. “I think
we should have another stone in the foundation
before proceeding to the superstructure. What
will it be?”

“Love,” suggested Irene.

“Yes,” replied the Priest, “but love is really
the basis of marriage, for it is only true love

that will unite the parties, heart and mind,
and inspire each to sacrifice all for the other.
Let us recall that we have our Guide in Christ,
our fundamental base and code of living in
religion and we have the true doctrine on
marriage, now . . . .”

“Father and mother,” broke in Larry.
“Someone must get married and establish a
home and unless a home has a good father
and mother it just isn’t a home.”



46 Let’s Build A Home

‘‘Quite logical, young man,” smiled Father
Carl. “All right, Professor, we’ll call that our

last stone.”

And the Professor obediently drew his last
block. . . .

Christ Religion Marriage Parents

“Now,” took up Father Carl, “if you had

the privilege of choosing your father and

mother, what kind would you select? Or, to

put it in another way, what qualities would

you wish them to possess?”

He was flooded with answers. For the most
part they were fully satisfied with the parents

God had given them and they did not hesitate

to say what they thought of these ultra-modern

parents who were setting the pace for the
youngsters. Their vehement condemnation of

such parents was inspiring and their comments
showed that parents who had “gone modern”
either to suit their own whims or in an attempt
to gain the “admiration” of the young, were

not only not admired but were definitely not

wanted. Thoughtful Walter insisted on the

duty of the parents to realize the dignity of

parenthood and the destiny of those whom God
places in their care.

We cannot insist too much on the importance
of good parents. Some years ago the writer
attended a lecture by a well-known sociologist.

In the course of his address, the speaker stated

that more than 85% of the cases of child de-
linquency were traceable . to bad homes and
negligent parents. We wonder what the per-
centage is today. Just a moment’s reflection

will convince anyone that if parents neglect

their God-given duties and let the children

grow up “wild,” without any moral training,

we cannot hope for much from them in the
future. And what about society? The mosaic
is only worth its component fragments!

Homes do produce noble characters, but,
alas! they also produce criminals. In an ad-



Let’s Build A Home 47

dress to college graduates, Bishop Sheil of
Chicago stressed the importance of the home
as a training school. To illustrate the tragic
consequences of parental neglect, he narrated
the following incident:

‘‘When I was a young priest,” he said, “I
ministered to the religious needs of the prison-
ers at the county jail in Chicago. Early one
wintry morning I was called to accompany a
young prisoner, twenty-three years of age, on
his death march to the gallows. He had com-
mitted a number of robberies that culminated
in the murder of a policeman who sought to
apprehend him. Just before the noose was to
be placed around his neck, he was asked if he
had any final word to say. Looking around
the death chamber, he spied a little group of
relatives who had come to witness the execu-
tion. Pointing his finger at his father, he
cried out: ‘I am about to hang because that
man, my own father, failed to do his duty.
He allowed me to run with hoodlums and
gangsters all hours of the day and night. He
never warned me against their ways, never
told me where it would lead to. Now I die in
disgrace on these gallows because my father
neglected to do his duty. He, rather than I,
should have this noose around his neck. He
is the criminal’.” The story needs no com-
ment. Where is your son going?
As we have indicated on another page, a

right attitude on marriage is indispensable.
Equally indispensable is a realization of the
dignity of parenthood. The primary end of
marriage is the procreation of children

:

parents become for the moment co-sharers with
Almighty God in bringing a human being into
existence. Now, a consideration of man’s
dignity and his destiny should convince parents
of the nobility of their office of parenthood.
Pope Pius XI, speaking of the child as the
first fruit of marriage, goes on to point out
the sublime destiny of man: “How great a
boon of God this is and what a blessing of
matrimony is clear from a consideration of
man’s dignity and of his sublime end, for man



48 Let’s Build A Home

surpasses all other visible creatures by the

superiority of his rational nature alone.

Besides, God wishes men to be born not only
that they should live and fill the earth, but

much more that they may be worshippers of
God, that they may know Him and love Him
and finally enjoy Him forever in Heaven; and
this end, by reason of man being raised by
God in a marvelous way to the supernatural
order, surpasses all that eye hath seen, and

ear heard, and all that hath entered into the

heart of man. . . . But Christian parents must

also understand that they are destined not only

to propagate and preserve the human race on
earth, indeed not only to educate any kind of

worshipers of the true God, but children who
are to become members of the Church of
Christ, to raise up fellow-citizens of the saints,

and members of God’s household, that the
worshipers of God and Our Saviour may daily
increase.”

And besides begetting children, there is
entrusted to the parents a mission hardly less

honorable than that assigned to Joseph and

Mary at Nazareth: the mission of fashioning
youthful hearts and minds according to the

divine Model. Their children, made to the
image and likeness of God and redeemed by
the Precious Blood of Jesus Christ, must be

guided and led, their feet must be safely

placed in the paths of virtue and nobility.

Whether their offspring will reach eternal life

or be plunged into eternal damnation is for the

parents to decide! We say this with reserva-
tion, of course, for the parents cannot be made
responsible for every reprobate—people do go
wrong in spite of splendid parents and fault-

less home training—^but the child is father of
the man and unless the parents see to his early
formation, they cannot expect to dodge the

responsibility for subsequent failure.

The dignity of parenthood is sublime but the
responsibility is immense. Let the parents

weigh it well for one day the Father of all

will ask them how they acquitted themselves
of their God-like duties. Parents may hand



Let’s Build A Home 49

over their task to others—to sisters, priests
and teachers—but nothing can ever substitute
for the home-training a child should receive.

The mother’s knee must be—and so it was
intended by God—the first school. There the
child must learn the noble art of loving God
and man; there he must receive his first

lessons in respect for God, his fellow men and
himself; there must the plastic mind of the

child receive the noble impressions which only

mother-love, mother-instinct and mother-char-

acter can stamp on it. If a child is robbed of

this early training there will be a void in his

life, in his character, that nothing will ever

be able to fill. Father and mother begot the

child—it is their duty to finish the work of
nature by training the young plant that it may
grow into a towering oak and reach even to

the highest heavens.

But in order to fulfil their sublime office

worthily the parents must be what God intends
them to be. There is a saying in Philosophy
which applies very well here: ‘‘Nemo dat quod

non habet: you cannot give what you haven’t
got.” It is but good common sense. How can
parents impart character, virtue, nobility, and

the other qualities that go to make genuine
men and women if they lack these virtues
themselves? If father and mother have no

respect for God and His religion, if they have
no respect for each other, how can they expect
their children to love and respect God and
themselves? If they do not respect the laws

of God and the commonwealth, should they be
surprised if their children turn out anarchists,

with no respect whatsoever for law and order?

or if the children refuse them the respect and

obedience that is due them as parents? And
if the parents fail in their duties towards their

children, have they a right to complain if the

offspring fail in ther duties towards them?

If the parents are unruly, harsh, selfish and

immoral, can they hope that the children will

be noble, generous and virtuous?

It is only when parents are deeply convinced
of the sublimity and responsibility of their



50 Let’s Build A Home

office that they will be the right kind of

parents^—and that conviction must come before
and not after the marriage, for the foundation

of the home is laid on the day of the marriage
and not after the children arrive. The time
to safeguard the home begins on the very first
day. Even before God blesses the union with
a child, the home has been prepared and if its
first development is not right it can only with

difficulty, as it enlarges, grow into the right
kind of a home. And how is the right start
to be made ? Simply by parents supernatural-
izing their lives, by directing all their energies

to attaining the goal of our earthly existence:

eternal life, and by letting the thought that

we are bom to live in the world and not for
the world color all their activities. In a word,

let parents base their lives on a firm belief in

God and on the realization that our only

reason for existing is to glorify God and to

save our souls and those He has placed in our
care. Christ once promised—and His promises
are never broken—that if we seek first the
kingdom of God all things would be given us:

peace, happiness, true joy and eternal life.

And experience shows that it is the parents
who are conscientiously seeking the Kingdom
of God that have true peace and happiness in

spite of trials and hardships and who reign as
king and queen over noble households.

With a view to producing the right kind of

homes, the Church (in her old-fashioned way)

has always insisted on the importance of a

serious and thoughtful courtship. We say
serious and thoughtful to distinguish it from

the modern idea of courtship which is con-

sidered as a time for levity and amusement.

Certainly, the young people should have a

‘‘good time” but that is not the principal

purpose of courtship which is the most

important period in a young person’s life.

It is while “going together” that each must

find out whether the other has the qualities

needed to be a good husband or wife. As
we have indicated on an earlier page, good
looks, athletic ability, etc., are pleasing but:



Let’s Build A Home 51

not essential. Character is what is needed
in a good husband and wife, in the future
father and mother. Has he the character,
the qualities needed to father my children
and to build up a happy home? Would
I choose her to mother my children, to train
and develop them? He’s an excellent golf
player, but what kind of a father and husband
would he make? What about his religion?
Marriage won’t change the character of the
parties suddenly! You will be quite the same
—the same qualities, defects, weaknesses, ten-
dencies—after you say ‘‘I will” as before.
Don’t think that the boy friend .who has no
respect for you during courtship will enthrone
you as queen in his home after marriage. And
if she is fickle and scatter-brained now, and
thinks only of running around, she will be the
same after the ceremony. Dont’ look for
miraculous changes—in spite of ardent prom-
ises ! Living together may and very often does
erase some defects but generally you remain
fundamentally the same after marriage as be-
fore. The time to decide ia before the mar-
riage, not after. And the thoughtful young
people during courtship will be the happy
parents after marriage.

Now what qualities should we demand in
the good father and mother? What qualifies
would you require? Make your own list. It
is not our purpose to detail them in full but
merely to give an indication.

First of all, as we have insisted throughout,
the parents should be deeply religious, and by
that we do not mean that they should make a
parade of their piety or that they should be
continually preaching to their children. This
is not at all necessary and is often very harm-
ful. Let their religion be so much a part of
their character and so influence their actions
that there will be no need of preaching. If
the children see that their parents have a love
and respect for God and practice their religion
faithfully, they will be inspired to love and
obey them. If father and mother have a deep
respect for one another, the children will not



52 Let’s Build A Home

fail to reverence them. If every phase of the

home life is penetrated with a truly Christian
spirit, the children cannot but take on a nobil-

ity of character. Today’s parents must return

to some of the good old-fashioned practices

which had such a definite influence in the

formation of men and women in past decades
—practices simple in themselves but rich in
fruit. For example, there is grace before and

after meals. One of the greatest sins of our
age is ingratitude—ingratitude towards God,
parents and benefactors. Parents themselves

will testify to this. Many children take all
they can from home and fail,—or should we
say, forget—to say ‘‘thank you.” And how
many are there who think of thanking God for
health, sunshine, liberty, friends, success ?

The little practice of grace—^which means
thank you—^before and after meals would do
much to train us in the habit of saying thanks
to God and man. And then there is the Bible
reading we mentioned before. Families used
to gather—some still do,—and the father
would read a chapter or maybe a few verses
and give an explanation which very often

would give rise to very profitable discussions.

Not only did they acquire true knowledge and

wisdom and the answer to the day’s problems

by this practice but they were blessed with an

'increased love for and closeness to the Author

of those chapters: God Himself. It is said

that we take on the character of the books we
read. If we read trash, our minds will soon
resemble a trash heap. While on the other

hand, if we read books with character, our

minds are definitely influenced and ennobled.

And can we find a book with more character
than the Bible ? And we might also recall the

happy practice of night prayers in common,

still found but, alas! only too rare. Immedi-

ately after the evening meal the family joined

voices and hearts in thanking God for the

blessings of another day and begging His

continued protection over their lives and their

homes. How could men help being noble and



Let’s Build A Home 53

virtuous when these and many other little
practices formed a part of their daily lives?

And then, parents should be such as to
attract and enjoy the most intimate confidence

of their children. If they take a sympathetic

interest in their plans and projects and prob-

lems, the childrens’ hearts will always be open

to them. Parents should play and plan with

their offspring. Many parents are too grown-
up. The happiest parents are those who get
down on the floor with junior or Mary and
play train or dolls. And as these youngsters
grow up dad and mother will not be excluded
from their plans, as many parents complain
that they are. Can we blame the children for
seeking recreation and counsel elsewhere if

dad hides grouchily behind the evening paper

and mother, tired from gadding about all day,
has no time to plan and dream with Mary
who is passing through her first stage of
romance? To sum up, parents must be pals
to

^

their children. It is quite natural that

children should turn to their parents when
anything is to be done or decided but if they

meet only a half-hearted or even cold response

they will go elsewhere. It spells tragedy in

many cases when the parents lose the confi-
dence of their children.

If we compare the home to a human body
we can liken the father to the head and the
mother to the heart; and the analogy is quite
fitting. Not that dad had no heart or that
mother has no head, but each fulfils in a
peculiar way the role symbolized by the heart
or head. God’s way is the best and He made
the father to be the head of the family. The
head is not directed by the members of the
body but guides and directs them. But strength
and rule must be tempered with gentleness:
this is the mother’s role as the heart. The
strength of man is required for the protection
and upbuilding of the family but the gentle-
ness of woman is just as necessary to restrain
that strength and to sustain it.
Commenting on the words of the Apostle

St. Paul: ‘‘Let women be subject to their



54 Let’s Build A Home

husbands. . . Pope Pius XI brings out
beautifully the relationship that should exist

between the head and heart of the family

:

‘‘This subjection, however, does not deny

or take away the liberty which fully be-
longs to the woman both in view of her
dignity as a human person, and in view
of her most noble office as wife and

mother and companion; nor does it bid

her obey her husband’s request even if not

in harmony with right reason or with the
dignity due a wife; nor, in fine, does it

imply that the wife should be put on a

level with those persons who in law are
called minors, to whom it is not customary
to allow free exercise of their rights on

account of their lack of mature judgment,

or of their ignorance of human affairs.
But it forbids that exaggerated license

which cares not for the good of the

family; it forbids that in this body which

is the family, the heart be separated from

the head to the great detriment of the

whole body and the proximate danger of

ruin. For if the man is the head, the
woman is the heart, and as he occupies the
chief place in ruling, so she may and
ought to claim for herself the chief place

in love.

Again, this subjection of wife to hus-

band in its degree and manner may vary
according to the different conditions of

persons, place and time; in fact, if the

husband neglects his duty, it falls to the

wife to take his place in directing the

family. But the structure of the family

and its fundamental law established and

confirmed by God, must always and every-

where be maintained intact.

With great wisdom Our predecessor

Leo XIII, of happy memory, in the

Encyclical which we have already men-
tioned on Christian marriages, teaches

with regard to this order to be maintained

between man and wife: “The man is ruler



Let’s Build A Home 55

of the family, and the head of the woman,

but because she is flesh of his flesh and

bone of his bone, let her be subject and

obedient to the man not as a servant but
as a companion, so that nothing be lack-

ing of honor or of dignity in the obedience

she pays. Both in him who rules and in
her who obeys, since each bears the image,
the one of Christ, the other of the Church,

let Divine charity be the constant guide

of their mutual relations.”

Further comment would be superfluous. If the
relationship described above exists between the
parents, the home will be ‘‘Home sweet home.”
Do not think that it is the indulgent parents

who are most loved by their children. The
greatest affection of children goes out to

parents who were loving but firm and who
worked for their welfare regardless of their
whims and caprices. And by firmness is not
meant severity. A father or mother can be
very firm in saying “no” to a son or daughter,
or in disciplining^ them in this way or that,
and at the same time be very loving and kind.
Children do not respect weakling parents who
give in, who prefer passing peace to the last-
ing good of their offspring. Children are like
men: they hate to submit to others but when
they find someone who is really their master,
and especially when it is for their own well-
being, they admire him. Let father and mother
be firm but loving masters in their home and
the children will be happy and loving subjects.
Did we go on, our list would be intermin-

able. I feel sure that the reader will be able
to complete it for himself. There is self-
sacrifice, the basis of true love; consideration

for others; a love of the home and home-life;
an unshakable belief in the supernatural and
in the sublime dignity and destiny of man;
and an intense love of God, and the things of
God. We cannot repeat too often that religion
must be the solid ground upon which we found
our lives and homes. We are destined to go to
God and religion is the way, the only way.



56 Let’s Build A Home

Riches, honors, position, your success and that

of your children will all vanish one day. If

God and religion were not a part of your life

here below, you will face eternity with empty

hands. And parents, what will the divine
Judge say? What will your children say?

Under the able guidance of Father Carl

the discussion went on with much life and

interest—Don is telling how when his older
brothers were just kids dad used to take them

out to the end of 7th Street in the winter time

and go sledding:

‘'He ‘belly-flopped,’ rode end on the tobog-

gan and did just like all the kids. I think you

had more fun than all the youngsters put to-

gether, didn’t you, dad?”

“I don’t know about that, but we surely had
great fun. And I wasn’t the only dad there:
many other fathers took their youngsters out.
And, to get back to our subject, I think that

is a great need today: joint recreation:

parents and children together, sledding, golf-

ing, swimming, camping, studying, planning.

Let them do things together. In that way
they will share happiness as well as ups and

downs and each will benefit by the company

of the other.”

“That’s a splendid idea, but,” protested

someone, “aren’t children or parents to do

anything or to go anywhere without the
others ?”

“Don’t take our host too literally,” pleaded

Father Carl. “It is quite natural that each

has favorite activities, recreations, etc., in

which the other does not take part. Because

dad bowls it does not follow that the whole

family should bowl. But there should be a com-

munity of interests in the family—each should
work for the welfare of the whole and when
anything of serious nature is to be decided

which affects the whole, why not hold a family
council? Too often nowadays young people

get themselves, and very often the whole fam-

ily, involved in some legal affair, some busi-

ness deal, without so much as consulting the



Let’s Build A Home 57

others. I suppose it is the independent spirit

of the age but prudence dictates otherwise.

‘‘And too, there is this question of marriage.

Many enter it without even a thought of con-
sulting parents or brothers and sisters or

someone older than themselves—and very often
with tragic results. Someone has said that

love can be a mild form of insanity. Often-

times I have heard young married people say

that they must have been crazy to marry such

a person. . . . Perhaps they were. When
young people are enamored of each other, they

are in a trance—delightful, maybe, but there
must be an awakening. And then ! They
say love is blind. At least it is not always

clear-sighted. That is why consultation will
do the young lover no harm. . .

X. Lunch Time.

“Come and get it?” broke in Don from the
doorway in spite of his mother’s injunction to
announce lunch like a gentleman. Then
catching himself, he begged in his most polite

way, “Would they please come in to lunch?”
Catching Marilyn by the arm he intoned,
“Here comes the bride” and led the party to

the buffet which mother had literally loaded

with home-made delicacies.
Making sure that Father Carl and dad were

served first—dad protesting that he should
wait for her—mother turned the buffet over
to the youngsters. Hungry hands reached out
and soon the buffet looked like the South

after Sherman had passed through. Noticing
that there were no napkins—it was really
Don’s fault, for mother had told him to put
them out—Larry villainously repeated a story
he had read in the “Reader’s Digest” some

months before.

“It seems,” he narrated, “that at a buffet

supper at Harpo Marx’s home in Hollywood,
guests were inconvenienced to find no nap-
kins. Noticing it, Oscar Levant ‘covered up’
for his friend. ‘Due to the high cost of liv-
ing,’ he announced, ‘there are no napkins—^but



58 Let’s Build A Home

from time to time a woolly dog will pass
among you’.”

The story met with mock disgust, boos, and
other acclamations of appreciation. ‘‘Truly a

prophet is not without honor except in his own
country,” thought Larry. However, Don
caught the hint—could he miss it?—and soon
the guests were supplied with napkins and

apologies.

The conversation became quite general. Don
was telling of the boxing matches he had

attended some evenings before. The main

bout of the evening was between an Italian
and, well, he didn’t know about the other.
There were the usual announcements, instruc-

tions to the fighters and, as the newspapers

put it, “8,000 spectators were on edge.” “And
just as the gong sounded,” went on Don, “the

Italian made a big sign of the Cross and
sprang from his corner. I tell you I was

impressed and from the remarks I heard I

know a lot of other people were too.”*

“Blood will tell every time,” came in Jerry.

“It tells in cattle, in horses and in dogs; and

it tells in people too. If you have been brought

up in the right kind of a home it will show
through your actions. That Italian probably

has a good old pious mother who taught him
to say his prayers and to begin everything,

even a fight, with a sign of the Cross.”

“The early Christians never began anything

without a prayer or the sign of the Cross,”

added Walt. “What Latin words did they
use. Father?”

“The usual form was ‘adjutorium nostrum

in nomine Domini—our help is in the name of
the Lord,’ but there were others. Many
people keep up the custom today.”

“I know dad never starts out with the car
without a sign of the Cross and some little

ejaculation,” offered Joe.

This actually happened in a small city of
Kentucky.



Let’s Build A Home 59

‘^Yes, and it has brought us to our destina-

tion and back safely many times, I am sure,”
finished dad.

‘^That’s something like ‘blessing the hour’,”

said Irene. “I know a little old French lady
who says a Hail Mary when the clock strikes
the hour. She calls it ‘blessing the hour’ and

so dedicates each waking hour to the Queen

of Heaven.”

“That surely is a beautiful custom,” com-

mented mother.

Then everybody began to remember this

little incident or that: how mother pinned
miraculous medals on their swimming suits

before they went out, or made sure they had
their scapulars of Our Lady; how the kids
always made a sign of the Cross before plung-
ing into the “old swimming hole,” etc., etc.

“I admire these customs,” spoke up Paul.

“Why don’t you Catholics keep them up? or,
to be frank, why are you Catholics ashamed
of your religion out in public? You have, to
my mind, the only true faith, a faith that
meets every exigency of life and a faith that

fits in everywhere and,—well, I don’t know,
you seem to back up when it comes to ‘practic-
ally’ practicing your faith. I don’t mean to
be offensive. Father, but I feel I can be frank

here.”

“You are quite right, Paul. Many of our
people do just that. They believe firmly but
hesitate when it comes to the every day prac-
tice of those things distinctly Christian. They

take on the ways of the world readily enough
but. . . .”

“They just don’t live up to their blood,”

finished Alida. “I was out to dinner the other
day with a Catholic young man and before
beginning to eat I signed myself and said

grace, quietly and reservedly. He protested,
saying that you were not supposed to do that
in public. Well, I don’t believe in making a
big show of it, but why should I be ashamed
of my religion? Christ isn’t ashamed of me,
why should I be ashamed of Him? And I told
him too. . . .”



60 Let’s Build A Home

^‘Good for you!” applauded Dick. “My
mother is the same way. She says that people
who know you are Catholic and who see that
you don’t live up to your faith don’t think
much of you as a man and, quite naturally,
look down upon your religion. And on the
other hand, they respect your religion and you

if you are a man of conviction and practice
your faith.”

“And your mother is right,” agreed the
Priest. “Very often just a sign of the Cross

in public is enough to attract a soul to the

Church. A Christian, and more particularly,
a Catholic, is a marked man in his community
and if he is brave in conquering human respect
and even fear, he will do much for the good
of religion. He bears the mark of Christ on
his soul and if he is a real man, all his acts

will bear the same stamp. Paul Claudel has

some beautiful words on this in his meditation

on the sixth station where Veronica wipes the

face of Jesus. It goes something like this:

‘Teach us, 0 woman brave, to conquer human
fear.

To whom Christ is not an image but the truth.
Will come the questioning glance of other men.

He dwells on higher plane; he thinks apart.
Some strange love holds him distant; he is

not the same.

An adult man, he says his beads; he tells his
sins;

Friday he fasts; and with the women goes to
Mass.

Of course, he rouses laughter, yet he irritates.
Let him beware, for on him rests the eye of all.
Let him beware each step. He, sign and

symbol is.

Each Christian, though unfit, is likeness true
of Christ.

The face his soul doth show is reflex small
Of that true Face of God, debased yet glori-

ous.’

And Saint Paul, too, urges the Christians to live
up to the high vocation to which they are called.

“It all goes back to the home and the train-
ing received there. If the children are trained



Let’s Build A Home 61

up in a good atmosphere where God and His
religion are respected and practiced and where

these little observances are a part of the daily

life, they will develop into men and women of
character and conviction and will bear worth-

ily the stamp of Christ.”

“You know, Father,” observed Joe, “many
people really shudder when the word religion
is mentioned, but you make it so sane and
logical. As I get it, it just means living a
good, clean, common-sense life in keeping with

God’s laws. Is that it?”

“Very good,” praised Father. “Yes, it is

just leading our normal life, enjoying the

normal recreations, carrying on our legitimate

business, according to the wishes of God and
for God;—and always with this thought in
mind: I am made for God and Heaven and not
for this earth and hell. A little thinking will
show you how logical Christ is, how safe it is
to follow His way and how much happiness is
to be found in loyalty to the King of kings.”

“It all comes back to Christ, then,” summed
up Don. “He is our Model to imitate, our
Way to follow, and our trusty Guide over the
paths of life.”

“Yes, He is the Rule of life you are looking
for. Follow Him and you will never go wrong.
When you come to a crossroad, when you are
faced with a temptation, a trial, ask Christ:

He will tell you the way. He is a trusty Guide,
having been over the road before. In His 33

years on earth He faced all the ups and downs
we have to face and He knows how to meet
them. Ask Him. He will not only tell you but
He will help you—if you let Him—over the
rough places. . . . And that brings us back to
the house. . . .”

XI. Your Home and the Commandments.

They had all finished lunch by this time
and the girls had helped mother take the
things back to the kitchen. Meanwhile Walter



62 Let’s Build A Home

had finished his sketch. It looked something

like this. ...

Father Carl eyed it with good-natured

criticism, picking out flaws in size propor-

tion, styling, etc. The rest examined it with

even more ‘‘venom.” Poor Walt was crushed.
It was Don who staved off further persecu-
tion by bring the conversation back to

Christ as the Guide of our lives.

“How about finishing our house, Father?”
“All right. Let’s see ... we have our foun-

dation—a very solid one—but it is useless
unless we build upon it, unless we practice
what we believe. Now the framework of our
little house represents our lives, or rather,

those means intended to direct our lives in

accordance with our beliefs. And here is
where we come back to Christ, our Guide.
Jesus not only taught a doctrine. He lived it.
His whole life can be summed up in one word,
obedience—obedience to the will of His
Heavenly Father. And that is just another
way of saying obedience to the laws of God.
“Now the law of God under the Old Testa-

ment can be summed up in the Ten Command-
ments which, in spite of the remark I heard

the other day: that the 20th century had made
a joke of them, retain their full force to-day as



Let’s Build A Home 63

ever. When Christ came and set up the new
dispensation, He summed up the law and the
prophets in a two-fold command of love: love
of God and neighbor. Why not label the up-
rights, in fact, the whole framework of our

little house, the Commandments of God and

of the Church for they regulate our conduct

in accordance with our belief while at the same

time they save and protect us from moral in-

vasion and ruin? Let them act as a protect-

ing wall against the spirit of atheism,

anarchy and so-called liberty so prevalent to-

day. In a word, let the foundation represent

our Dogma, what we believe, and the frame-
work, our moral code: what we are to do.

‘Teople protest that the law of God restrains

them and takes away their liberty. How about
the guard-rails along the highway? Shall we
have them removed since they prevent me from
plunging off into the ditch ? Laws are benefi-
cial guides, not harmful restrictives. The

divine Lawgiver expresses His will in His

commands which He intends as guides to lead
us to Him. All He asks is obedience, and
obedience we owe Him since He is God and
we are men. He the Creator and we the
creatures.

“It’s getting rather late to go into details

on all the Commandments, so let’s single out
one which has a close relation to our little

discussion. What is the fourth Commandment,
Joe?”

“That’s easy. Father. Honor thy father and
thy mother.”

“In other words, obedience, and that seems

to be an extremely difficult assignment for

the 20th century. We have heard so much and
have been taught so much about ‘rugged indi-
vidualism,’ freedom to develop, no restrictions,

etc., etc., that our age seems to have forgotten

the meaning of the word obedience.”

.“Well, Father, you must admit that it is
hard at times to submit your will and judg-

ment to others, even if they are your parents
or legitimate superiors,” defended Anne.



64 Let’s Build A Home

‘‘Oh, granted. Obedience is very hard and
irksome at times but if we have the proper
respect for our parents and superiors and
realize that they command us in the name of
God, the command will take on an entirely
different appearance. And as a rule the com-
mands given are not so terrible. In fact, if we
would only stop to think for a minute we would
see that parents have only the welfare of their

children at heart. I know that when dad or
mother says that you cannot go out with so
and so or that you must do this or that, or
that your dress is too short, you know better,
but, as I say, just stop to think for a minute

and you will realize that dad and mother have

been through it all and that they know pretty
well what they are talking about. Would you
rather have them be indifferent and let you
come and go just as you please, as many
parents do to-day?”

“Gosh, no. Father,” came in Anne again.
“We do think we are pretty big sometimes and
that we know it all, but I guess you are right.
In the long run the folks know what is best.
I know myself that if I had listened to them
I would have been spared some heart-breaks.”

Everyone had something to say on this

question of obedience. In the exchange.

Father brought out that the Church always

insisted on respectful submission of children

to their parents and to the lawful ecclesiastical

and civil authorities. He also showed that the
Fourth Commandment has another side: the
duties of parents towards each other and to

their children. The parents must first of all

love and obey God and lawful authority and

have a mutual respect for each other before

they can expect loving obedience from their

offspring. Husbands are to love their wives

as Christ loved the Church (Ephesians 5:25)

and wives are to be subject to their husbands

(Coloss. 3:18) and together they are to bring

up their children in the discipline ad correc-

tion of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4). Parents

direct their children in the name of God. Let
them so live and be such that the children



Let’s Build A Home 65

can look up to and respect them as their God-

given guides to eternal happiness.

In this matter, as in all things, Christ is

our Model of obedience. His life at Nazareth

is summed up by Saint Luke in the following
verse: “And He went down with them, and
came to Nazareth, and was subject to them.”

(2:51). When Mary and Joseph asked Him
to do something. He saw the will of His Father
in their requests and when they advised or
counseled anything. He, the Angel of the Great

Council, submitted His judgment to that of

His own creatures. What a sublime example
for us!

And to parents in particular do Mary and
Joseph give a splendid example. To cite but

one instance in each of their lives: When the
Angel Gabriel announced the stupendous fact

that God wished to become incarnate in her

womb, Mary, with incomparable humility,

bowed before the divine will and spoke her

“fiat,” “May it be done unto me according to
thy word.” And when some months later God
sent a messenger to Joseph and told him to

take the Child and His Mother and to flee into

Egypt, the foster-parent of the God-Man did
not speak a word but rising in the middle of

the night left all things and fled with his

precious Charges. Both Mary and Joseph
obeyed because they saw an expression of the
will of God in the words of the Angel. Today,

God speaks to parents by means of the Ten
Commandments, the Commandments of the
Church and her ministers, through legitimate

authority and superiors. Can they claim an
exemption which the Son of God Himself did
not claim? Can they refuse obedience when
Joseph and Mary submitted so humbly and
readily?

Though sublime, the little home of Nazareth
must be reproduced in today’s world by
basing our lives and families upon Christ and
imitating His example. When writing to his
beloved Philippians, the Apostle urged them
to “let this mind be in you which was also in
Christ Jesus . . . (who) emptied Himself



66 Let’s Build A Home

taking the form of a servant .... humbled
Himself, becoming obedient unto .... the
death of the Cross.” (2:5-8). And exhorting
them to like humility and obedience he con-

tinues: ‘'Wherefore, dearly beloved, (as you

have always obeyed) .... with fear and
trembling work out your salvation, for it is

God who worketh in you both to will and
accomplish according to HIS good will. And
do ye all things without murmurings and
hesitations; That you may be blameless and
sincere children of God without reproof, in
the midst of a crooked and perverse genera-

tion; among whom you shine as lights in the
world.” (12-15). And who can deny that o :
generation is "perverse and crooked?” And
it is so precisely because of pride and dis-

obedience. With Lucifer, the world cries to

God: "Nom serviam—I will not serve!” A
reversal is imperative! Obedience is the only

things that will save the world to-day and that

obedience must begin right in the home. And
this brings us back to the beginning of our

little work : the nation takes on the charactei

of the homes. If the Nazarene spirit of

humble obedience to God and to lawful
superiors reigns in the home it cannot but
radiate far and wide and make for a peaceful,
happy and prosperous society. The contrary

is obvious. Eebellious parents—rebelling
against God and His laws—and rebellious
children—revolting against the authority of
parents or guardians—will not make peaceful
and law-abiding citizens. ,Our overcrowded

prisons and the wretched state of society testify

to that. Obedience may be a hard word, but
injustice, crime, war, depression, misery and

suffering are much, very much, harder. Christ

once said: 'My yoke is sweet and my burden is
light. And He is right—ask those who obey!
On the other hand, what price disobedience!
And what has been observed of the Fourth

may be said of all the Commandments, for
they all involve humble submission to the will

of God, hut for our own good! A moment’s
reflection will show how insane it is to refuse



Let’s Build A Home 67

service, since each act of disobedience retires

us further from our end and goes to make life
more miserable. A thing becomes more perfect
as it serves more perfectly the end for which

it was made. So it is with man: the more

perfectly he submits himself to his Creator the

more perfect and happy does he become and

the closer he approaches to his end. Only

humble submission will lead us to God. Today

our lives and homes are being threatened by

the invasion of ‘‘commandmentless” philoso-

phies. We can only be saved by getting be-
hind the protecting wall of God^s will. Now
when an army is confronted with threatening
numbers, it draws closer together. Every unit

feels the need of cooperation. Petty differ-

ences disappear, the authority of officers is

unquestioned, effort is unified, with the result

that frequently the very danger of destruction

is made the occasion of efficiency and victory.
And so with the home. Everything tends to
disrupt and break it up. In the face of this

threat the members of each unit—the family

—

should draw closer together and should co-
operate with the Great Captain is saving the

home. And this salvation will come only if
the officers (parents and superiors) under

the Great Captain obey His orders and in turn

are obeyed by those under them. Peace,

security, order and happiness will be the result

of humble submission to the divine Commander
and that submission must first be found in the
home, for the home cannot hone to face the
invasion successfully without the safeguard''

of religion.

XII. A Little Heaven.

And glancing at his wrist-watch. Father
Carl concluded

:

“That ought to do for the framework. It’s
getting close to my bed-time.”
“Don’t forget the siding and the roof,” re-

minded Alida.

“Why not cover our framework with the
love of God and neighbor? Then we will not



68 Let’s Build A Home

have a veneer but a genuine siding on our
house: everything we do and say will be
clothed in charity,” suggested Walt.

“Splendid idea,” praised the Priest. “I’ll

let you work out the details: windows, doors,
etc. What about the roof?”
Larry was waiting for the question and

came in quickly: “Divine Providence, for God
watches over us always; and what better roof
can we have over our heads than the watchful,
loving solicitude of our Heavenly Father?”

“Very good. Surely a house based on God,
sided with charity and roofed over with His

Providence will not go down in the storm.
And such a house, too, will be a lighthouse in
this stormy world of ours.”

“We have our house now. Father, but how
about the fuimishings?” asked Irene.

“I’m going to let you move in and furnish
it yourselves for, in the words of Edgar A.
Guest, “It takes a heap o’ livin’ in a house t’

make it home. . . .*

“It isn’t the price or style of your furniture,

the loveliness of your curtains and linens or

the up-to-date-ness of your equipment that

makes it home. A poor man’s cottage is more
often a home than the rich man’s mansion and

it is so because God reigns over the cottage

and where God reigns there we find peace and
happiness in spite of poverty and hardships

—

maybe even because of poverty and hardships
for then the cottage resembles more closely the

modest home in Nazareth.

“Father Mateo tells the following story in

connection with the splendid work of the

enthronment of the Sacred Heart as the King

of the home : H was once celebrating the
marriage of two young people who were very
poor, and they asked me to enthrone the King
of Love in

.

the cottage that very day.

‘Promise me,’ I said to them, ‘to treat Jesus

as a Friend, as if you really saw Him. His

Heart will bring you happiness it spite of the

troubles which are sure to come to you.’

Read the whole poem, “Home,” by this author.



Let’s Build A Home 69
**

‘A few years later the young man came and
called for me: ‘My little wife is dying/ he
said. And in fact she was most grievously
ill, but at peace and breathing a sweet and

infinite calm. The only treasure to be seen
in that poor little hut was the picture of the
Heart of Jesus, which I had presented them

with and enthroned on their marriage day.

After hearing her confession I was rather
surprised that in so bitter an hour such a

heavenly peace should reign there; so, wishing

to find out the reason, I said to her: ‘Before

going to heaven, come tell me, my child, have
you been unhappy since your marriage?’ She

opened her eyes wide in great surprise, and,

raising herself up, said to me: ‘What! You

who on our wedding day committed us to the
King Jesus, and brought Him to us to be the
Friend of this little home, you ask me if I
have been unhappy with Him? Never, Father!
not for one second! We have had to suffer,
we have had our struggles also, that is quite
inevitable; but could we be unhappy with
Jesus, the King and Friend of poor people and

especially of this cottage?’ And then, taking
her young husband by the hand she said to

him: ‘And you, what have you to say? Have
you been unhappy? In a broken voice, yet in

words which were almost a canticle of the

soul, he answered: ‘Father, we have had a
hard struggle; such is life but as she has said

to you, wiSh Jesus our Friend, we have seen
happy, oh, so happy! He is the Master, He
comes to take her away; but soon He will
come down for me, and then, up there in

heaven, we shall be united in happiness with
Him, just as we have been happy with Him
in our little home!’*

“The sublimity of this story needs no com-
ment.”

“Gosh, Father, that’s beautiful,” commented
Mary Elizabeth, visibly touched.

Quoted from “Jesus, King of Love,“ by Rev.
Mateo Crawley-Boevey, SS. CC., The National
Center of the Enthronement, Sacred Hearts
Academy, Fairhaven, Mass.



70 Let’s Build A Home

Nor was she the only one who was touched
by this simple but sublime account. And the
Sacred Heart will work the same miracle of
peace and joy in your home if you let Him in,
for He is the God of peace and joy.

^‘Now just to help you along I’ll suggest

the following furnishings which the Christian

home cannot do without: First of all, the
Sacred Heart must be enthroned as the King

and Mary as the Queen of the home. They
must be set up and given the place of honor

in the home and nothing should ever be done
to displease them and nothing should be

undertaken without consulting them. Secondly,

there must be strong but fatherly authority.

Children need direction, correction and even

punishment at times. Thirdly, there must be

a filial respect and loving obedience on the

part of the offspring. And lastly, love for
each other, an intense love. . . .

‘‘That’s putting it very briefly, but I must

be on my way.”
“Aw, Father, it’s early yet,” protested Don.

But Father was not to be dissuaded, and

with a few pleasantries he took leave of the

youngsters. Dad and mother prolonged their
“good-bye” out to his car as was their custom.

When they returned to the house they walked
into a typical old-fashioned home scene.

XIII. Closing Scene.

Alida and Marilyn had, with the help of

Don, dug out a couple of their hostess’ aprons

and were busy cleaning up the dishes,

and Paul, more in the way than anything else,
were “helping.” Paul was telling Don how
very fortunate he was to have such good
parents and such a real home in every sense
of the word. Out in the drawing room, Walt,

chewing on his pipe, was finishing his sketch
while Irene, loyally patient, was thumbing
through the Encyclical on Marriage and was

probably musing how happy she would be after
she had married her bookworm. And quite
caught up by the spirit of the 90’s, Jerry was



Let’s Build A Home 71

banging away on the piano trying to revive
some of the ragtime of the period and then

mellowing into on a bicycle built for

two. ...” No one could doubt that he was
really enjoying himself. Snatches of his

melodies were heard over by the huge fireplace

where Joe and the rest were popping corn and

roasting marshmallows. All in all it was a
happy scene. Every one was having a good
time—and they were making their own enter-
tainment and not roaming about buying it.

Even Mary Elizabeth had forgotten all about
her radio and modern devices and was getting

herself all stuck up with marshmallows roasted
in the old-fashioned way. . . . Dad and
mother smiled. The scene took them back

some years—34 years—^to the family parties
they had known and especially to one evening
when, in front of a log fire, dad had nervously

asked mother to come and build a home with
him. Storms had risen since then and winds

had blown, but their home had stood fast—it
was founded on rock; Jesus was Master and
Mary was Queen.
When the hour grew rather late, the young-

sters were loath to leave their haven of happi-

ness where they had found real enjoyment and
healthy recreation for both mind and body.
However, they were compensated by their
gracious hostess who extended to all a standing
invitation to ‘‘cruise around and drop anchor”
whenever they wished. Good-natured banter-

ings accompanied their “Good-night and

pleasant-dreams”—and we do not doubt that
all had pleasant dreams of a really enjoyable
evening.

Conclusion

We would conclude these homely pages with
an earnest appeal to you to love your home
and to make it the very center of your life.
Rich or poor, you can have a happy home. If
your home is not what it should be, whose
fault is it? Ask yourself this question seri-
ously and then strive to remedy the defects.



72 Let’s Build A Home

Although the home is really formed on the
very first day of married life, it is never too

late. Parents may he aging and the children
grown, but a start can still be made and suc-
cess attained through the good will and honest

cooperation of all. Consult the divine Archi-

tect, for “unless the Lord build the house, they

labor in vain that build it” (Psalm 126:1),

and then build along the plan suggested in the

foregoing pages. We promise you a happy
home. The saddest words ever recorded and,
indeed, the most tragic, are the following taken

from the First Chapter of Saint John’s Gospel
“.

. . . He came unto His own and His own
received Him not. . . .” He is knocking at the
door of your heart and of your home. We
plead with you to admit the Divine Caller with

His untold treasures of happiness and peace

—

a joy and peace that only He can give. Bring
Him in and, after having enthroned Him as
King and Mary as Queen, hang up the legend

:

HOME SWEET HOME.



BOOKS AND BOOKLETS
Supplied by the Abbey of Our Lady of Gethsemani

Don Edmond ObrecM, Abbot of Gethsemani

Life and Teachings of St. Bernard, by Buddy

St. Bernard on the Love of God, cloth 1.50

The Real de Ranee, cloth 3.00

Holy Abandonment, by D. Lehodey, cloth 4.0&

The Man Who Got Even With God, cloth 2.00
The Family that Overtook Christ, cloth 2.75

Three Religious Rebels, cloth 2.75

Compendium of the History of the Cistercian
Order, cloth 4.00

Soul of the Apostolate, by D. Chautard
paper 1.00

cloth 1.25

Radiating Christ, by Plus, S. J 1.00

Father Joseph Cassant, Trappist Monk
paper 75
cloth 1.00

Brother Yvo Poussin, Trappist Brother
paper 75
cloth 1.00

Sister Louise Te'ssier, Trappistine Lay Sister
cloth 1.00

Cistercian Spiritual Directory, by D. Lehodey,
2 vols. each 1.75

Lt. Michael Carlier, Trappist Monk, cloth 2.00
Jesus, King of Love, by Fr. Mateo, cloth 1.00
The Cistercian Life’, paper 50
The Faith of Millions

paper .50
cloth — 1.50

The Holy Rule of St. Benedict (new trans-
lation), cloth 1.00

Descriptive Booklet of Gethsemani Abbey
paper 25

BOOKI.ETS
Are You?—Retreat Book
Fiat! Remake Your World—God’s Holy Will
Life is a Divine Romance—for Women
The God-Man’s Double—for Priests
What’s Wrong?—College Graduates
Set the World on Fire—the Holy Ghost
Whait are You Doing to Jesus Christ?
Doubling for the Mother of God—for Nuns
Whispers from the Wings—Seauel to the above
Do You Want Life and Love?—the Blessed Sacra-

ment
Have You Met God?—Instructive Reading
For Your Own Defense—in Military Service
To Mothers Whose Sons are in the Service
A Message from Those Kille’ft In Action
Help God be a Success—for Medical Profession
24 Hours a Catholic—Prayer Book
An Hour With Christ—Holy Hour Book
Eventually: Why Not Now?—Retreat
A Startling Thing for You
Apostolate of the Contemplative
St. Bernard, Master Magnet
Let’s Build a Home

10c each. Reductions on quantities



PRINTED IN U. S. A.