vs '~67 D/·6.3: 60-60 .(-M-IL DoD 6060.1-M-lC BISON - Department of Defense ... The ''Caring'' Role In A Child Care Center Staff Development Series Military Child Care Project Part III Relating To Children ... DoD 6060.1-M OFFICE OF THE ASSISTANT SECRETARY OF DEFENSE WASHINGTON. O.C. 20301 MANPOWER. RESERVE ArrAIRS 0 1 APR 1982 ANO LOGISTICS (Military Personnel and Force Management) FOREWORD This series of manuals for Child Care Givers on DoD Installations is issued under the authority of DoD Instruction 6060.1, "Training Manuals for Child Care Givers on DoD Installations," January 19, 1981. Its purpose ii to prov~de child care giv~rs with training materials that include the latest techniques and prbc~dures for the safe care and guiding development of children entrusted to their care. This series of manuals, DoD 6060.1-M-1 through DoD 6060.1-M-17, was developed under the auspices of the Department of Health and Human Services by the Department of Army, in cooperation with the Navy, Air Force, and Marine Corps. The provisions of this series of manuals apply to the Office of the Secretary of Defense, the Military Departments, and the Defense Agencies (hereafter referred to as DoD Components) whose heads shall ensure that the manuals are distributed or otherwise made available to all child care givers on DoD installations and that these materials are used in regional and interService workshops, seminars, an'd training sessions. This series of manuals is effective immediately. Send recommended changes to the manuals through channels to: Director, Personnel Administration and Services Office of the Deputy Assistant Secretary of Defense (Military Personnel and Force Management) (ASD(MRA&L)) • Washington; D.C~ 20301 DoD Components may obtain copies of this series of manuals through their own publications channels. Other federal agencies and the public may obtain copies from the Superl.nbmdlmt of Documents, U.S. Government Printing Office, Washington, D.C. 20402. R. Dean Tice Lieutenant General, USA Deputy Assistant Secretary For sale by the Superintendent ot Documents, U.S. Government Printing OIDce · Washlnl(ton, D.C. 20402 • DoD 6060.1-M-lC The "Caring" Role In A ChildCare Center Project Director Marlene Scavo Research Director Judith Briscoe-Kleven Consultants Elizabeth L. Diffendal Barbara Lake Linda Willoughby Staff Development Series Military ChildCare Project Ft. Lewis,Washington Part III Relating To Children • .. PARr III TABLE OF CCNl'ENI'S Page nn'R:DJC'I'IOO • • • • • • • • • • • • . . . . . . 145 ID'l CAN Ylidays celebrated and the languages spoken in the ·center. Be Aware That Disabled Or Hardicapped Children Have The Same Needs As Other Children Don't Use ~That Will Blrt Feel:inqs You might ask yOuself if anythinq makes. you disabled. . If Y.0\.1 wear glasses to correct your vision, you may be said to be disabled. The way parents and other people around disabled or handicapped children deal with the handicap sanet:imes detem\:ines hew "harvli.capped" a person · really is. In other words, there can be a difference between ''being handi~" and "havinq a handicap" -it can all deperld. on ·hew well the person leams to deal with it. When an adult leams to think ncre about· what she can do rather than. what she can't, thiD;ls acre often go in a P9sitive direction. If you emphasize and react to what a child with a disability can achieve, you will help that child on the road to greater self~nfidence and iniependence -just as far any other child. OVerprotection.. is never healthy for any child. It is mst iltq;x»:tant to help disabled children help themselves, not just ·to do everything for them. Children with disabilities have similar needs and feelinqs as other children. When any child canes to a child care center for the first time, it can be a strange and fearful occasion. There is no need to expect that a retarded child, for instance, because he is not totally aware of his world, will be less fearful. You may worXler, at this point, h::M you will meet the exceptional needs of the special child and still pmvide the same good care for the other children in the center. There is no total solution, but as you spend mre time with the chil~and becx:lle mre canfortable with the child care settinq and the other children, it is likely that this problem will fade into routine and the "differences" will provide a wel.c::x:me break. IXN'T SAY 'l.K[S: SAY THIS: BACKWARDS: Mentally or em::rtionally disturbed• . CRIPPLE: Physically dj sabled. DEAF AND DtlMB: Hearing iitpti.red, unable to speak, or retarded. DEJroR-!EO: Physically handi capped. OCN 'T SAY THIS: J::U.m': FAT SLOB, FATSO: FREAK: amr:HBACK, HCN:H: mPER: mror: LlMPY, GIMPY: MENmL: mmLIAN miar: KXJN Fll.C!: M)RJN: 001' RIGB'r: PSYCIO: SCXIZ: SPAZ: WATER H!AD OR WATER ON 'mE BRAIN:. SAY THIS: Slat learner or retarded. Ova'weiqht. Retarded, etc. SaDeone with qlasses. Seizures, such as with epilepsy. Anyone wb:) is different. CUrved back. Fran Hyperactive. Retarded. Physically disabled. Mental or ~cnally disabled. DI::M'l 1 s Synd!:auec . DI::M'l I S Syndrane• Retarded or slow to leam. JUst say, "has a handicappinq con:li -~ n ~on. Mentally or E!llCticnally disturbed. Schizophren:i:c. Sl1ould not be used as slanq. A child la.ckinq CCOPdinatial (muscle control) usually a child with cerebral palsy. Hydrocephalus. • • • • Sane Often Asked Questions And Situations To Explore • • Children adjust to the same situation in different ways. For one thing, no situation neans exactly the same thinq to all children. Experiences will have different meanings for each child, depending upon past experiences and i.nbom differences. Belnq taken to a new place may mean pleasant possibilities to one child and disturbing posswilities to another. We know that the sum total of a child's experience usually is ncre iltpxtant than any sinqle experience. Therefore, it is desirable to have eaCh experience contribute to ItV1ldJ']q the child feel mre secure and adequate. We need to recognize that behavior has n. For instance, wtliiUnq, teasinq, sulkinq, and lilllyinq are not o themselves problems, but synptaDs which tell us the child is either unhappy or ill. Children wb:) are forced into makinq adjustmmts for which they are not ready are less prepared for aey further adjustment. 'nle damage they suffer may be evident indirectly, as in greater dependence, increased irritability or a loss of creativity. You can, however, help children feel mre secure by being aware of and helping them with their feelings. • WHAT N:XliD m.J 00 lF ••• • Jimny, wtJ) is four and a half, canes to the center every day. He prides h:imself a1 lalafiD; all the rules of the roan. He often c::ates to tell yo1 that SCIDI!CXle is z:unnin; in the roan, not sharinq, sayinq ''bad" words, etc. The children are beqinninq to stay away fran Jimny and often get arqry with him. What wculd yol say to Jjmay to stop the tattling? A. "J:i.nmy, I'll watch the other children and take care of them just as I de you. I would like yol to play' and if sc:meone does sanetllin; wrong, you may tell them the rule if I den't see what's happeningJ but den~t c::ate to me, please. 11 B. "You take care of yourself, Jimny, and let me take care of the children who break the rules. Nobody likes a tattle-tale. 11 c. "I'm glad you knatl the roan rules, J:i.nmy, but net all the children knatl them as well as you de. It is Irr:f job to help them learn and rEI!IStlber the rules, and I will de that. It is your:~job to rE!Illl!i!tber the rules and have ftm while you are here. I take care of all the children in this J:Oan, and I will tell than !xM to behave. 11 Answers On Bottan Of Next Page SUe, who is three and a half, wants to hang on you and be with you all the time. She fol.lows you around and does not want to play with the other children. ~can you help SUe becare ttm'e independent? Answers Fran Previous Page A. Tell SUe to choose an activity and go with her to that activity. Stay with her a few minutes and then say, "SUe, I am going to another table, l::ut I will cane back to see you in a few minutes. n Be sure you do go back. B. Tell SUe that today you are very busy so she IlllSt play with the other children for awhile by herself. C. Tell SUe that she is a big girl now and that she must not hold on to you any rore, but must play with the other children. Reassure her that you really like her very much. Choiae A ia not a good solution beaause it aon!inues to make Jimmy an enforcer of rules. While you have e=Plained your role in the room to him, you also are aZZowing him to take on part of the teaaher roZe, and the tattling wiZl not stop. Choiae B is rather harsh and labels Jimmy a tattle-tale when he is trying to help. He may end up being aonjUsed. Choiae C is best beaause it e=Plains your role and assures him you wiZZ explain the room PUles to the ahildren. You tell him what his role in the room is and reassure him that you are a:UJare that he knows and follows the rules. Ponnie iS five years old. ~1hen he doesn't get his own way, his first reaction is to hit, kick or push other children. Even when he is playing, he is very rouqh and always wants to be first. How can you, the caregiver, help Rennie learn ncre acceptable behavior? Answers Fran Previous Page A. When Ronnie hurts another child, tell that child to hit Iamie back. B. When Rormie hits another child, tell him you will not allCM him to hit others and that you will not allCM then to hit him. Say, "In our roan, we use w:nUs to tell people when we don't like what they are doing. If you hurt scmaone, then you will have to sit down and play for awhile." Keep an eye on Rormie, and when he is playing well, tell h:im you like the way he is playing. When he hits, rE!!tCVe him :imnediately and make him sit away fran the other children. c. Tell Rennie that he may not hurt children and that if he does, you will have to tell his parents not to bring him back to the center. Choice A is the best answer because you are he~ping Sue to gradua~~y ~et go of you and be on hezo own. Make the time Cl1;)ay fr9m her graduaZZy ~ongezo and ~ongezo unti~ she is ab~e to p~ay on her own most of the time. Choice B auts Sue off abrupt~y and wiZZ make her more inseauzoe and mozoe c~ingy. Choice C wi~~ not he~p Sue even though you are reassuring hezo~ because you have not convinced her that she can be on hezo own. Just because you fee~ she is a ''big" gizo~ witt not he~p hezo fee~ she is ab~e to be away fzoom you. John is four years old. He has been caning to the center far a ncnth ani still seems very shy ani afraid to take part in any activity. He sits by h:imself most of the time and does not talk to you or the other children unless he is spoken to first. He then responds very quietly and does net say nuch. You are ccncerned about h:im and 'A01ld like to help h:im. What can you do? A. Say, ''John, today you my paint at the easel. I want you to make a picture for your mother. cane and slDI me your picture when it is finished." B. Say, "John, today you may paint a picture. I will stay with you while you paint. I'm sure your mother will be pleased with your picture." c. Say, "John, today you may paint with any color ~tyou like. You may cover as nuch of the paper as you like. " Answers Fran Choiae A doesn't teach Ronnie anything about Previous Page how to hand"Ls his behaviozt. It onLy teaahes hitting. Choiae B is the best answez-beaause you are Letting Ronnie know you wiLL not aaaept his Pough aations and why his aations azte not aLLowed. You aLso are Pewarding his good behavioP and taking aation when he misbehaves. Choiae C thzteatens Ronnie with aation you pPobabLy aannot take without the diPeatop's pePmission. You are not heLping Ronnie Zeaztn aaaeptabZe behavioP. Answers Fran Previous Paqe Choiae A aouZd be f~ightening fo~ a ahiZd who is unsure of himseZf. You ~e asking him to make a pia~e whiah he may not fee Z he aan do. AZso, you ~e asking him to show you the pia~e, and he may not be SUZ'e enough of himseZf to show his piature to you. Choiae B aouZd aZso be f~ightening fo~ the same ~eason as Choiae A. AZso by staying with him whiZe he paints, you ~e making him mo~e dependent on you. UnZess you know his mothe~ weZZ, you shouZd not assume she wiZZ be pZeased with the piat~e. On.e ~eason John may be so shyis that his mothe~ has vecy high standards. Chi~en shouZd paint to pZease themseZves, not someone eZse. Choiae C is the best answe~ because you a~e setting up a situation whe~e John aannot faiZ. You ~e not asking him to make a oicture, just to aove~ the pape~ with some paint. -When he has finished, you aan easiZy p~aise him by saying, "I Zike the aoZo~ (aoZorts) you used, John~" HeZpJohn go f~om situations whe~e he is suacessfuZ byhimseZf to situations whe~e he can be successfuZ with one o~ two othe~ chiZdren and then in the g~oup. As John feeZs bette~ about himseZf, he wiZZ be Zess shy and withdrawn. cne of the roost irrpxtant t.h.i.nqs to rE!Oelli:Jer in workinq with handicapped children is that in nest cases, they are more ncnmal. than handicapped. Children in wheelchairs may not be ablJ!·to walk, l:A.lt they can use their hands, eyes, ears, and brains to take part in activities. Deaf children cannot talk, or perhaps have difficulty tal.kinq, l:A.lt they can datmmicate their needs and can take part in. many activities. Mentally retarded children may need to be with a younger group of children rather than with their age .level, l:A.lt in roost cases, they also can take part in many activities. Concentrate on what children can do, not what they cannot do. Get as many facts as you can about a child's handicap. Often parents can be helpful in tell..inq you what to expect fran a child. Handicapped children, like non-handicapped children, cane fran a variety of family lifestyles. 'nley may be spoiled or ove::protected. They may be too aggressive, too passive, or have other problems which are also c.umcn to non-handicapped children. Your job is to help all children feel ccmfortable and happy in your roan. • t-iHAT l\'OUID YOUDO IF ••• Jerry, who is four years old, has both a hearing and a speech problem.He has trouble tellinq you what he wants. He wears a hearing aid so he· can understand what you are saying if you look at lUm and have lUm standclose to you while you are talking with him. Jerry is trying to tellyou sc:mething as you stand near the table at art time, but you cannotumerstand h:im and he is becaning very frustrated. What can you, the caregiver, do to help Jerry? · A. Tell Jerry to speak very slowly and youwill listen carefully to h:im. B. Stoop down so you are at Jerry's level andrepeat the words you understand that he issaying. Ask h:im questions about what he issaying that can be answered with yes or no. c. call a CO""'Nerker over to the table and seeif between the two of you, you can tell whatJerry is saying. Answers On Bott:an Of Next Page 171 Donna is four years old and is mentally retarded. She is in the two-year-old roan. She is larger than the other children, and When she becanes aggressive, you are concemed she will hurt another child. How can you help Donna becate less aggressive? Answers Fran Previous Paqe A. Tell Donna that she is a biq qi.rl and can hurt the other children \Om she hits them. Ask her to be your helper and qive her special little jc::bs to do. B. watch Donna very closely1 and when you see her go:inq towards another child, take· her by the hand and lead her to another activity. c. If Donna hits another child, say1 ''No hit tine]1 Donnan in a stem VOice and lead her away fran that child to another activity. Choice A may work, but you are asking Jerry to do something that may be very frustrating to him and he may decide it's not worth the effort. You do not show him that you can understand some of what he is saying. Choice B is the best answer because you are l-etting Jerry know that you do understand some of what he is saying. AZso, you are questioninghim, which shows interest, and he can probabl-y answer yes or no quite understandabZy. Choice C couZd be embarrassing to Jerry and woul-d certainl-y caZZ the other chiZdren's attention to his handicap. Marcia, who is five, was born with one cu:m missinq fran the elbow daNn. She manaqes very well and takes part in the roan activities. Ha.r.lever, ym have noticed a few children mak:inq fun of Marcia, and she is becani..nq l.tCSt \mCCDfortable. HeM can you, the careqiver, handle this? A. Tell the children that it is cruel to make fun of Marcia. Explain that they are makinq her feel badly. B. Durinq group time, talk about how nobodylooks exactly the same way. Sane people are short, etc. Marcia's missinq az::m will undoubtedly c::cme up, and you can then explainthat Marcia was bom this way just as sane of them were bor:n with thinqs that make them look differently. Then talk about what all of thEm have in camcn eyes, ears, nose, ncuth, hail:. . c. Explain to Marcia that the children wb:) are makinq fun of her don't understand why her a::m is missinq and that she sOOul.d just ignore them. Tell her you think she is very pretty and that most of the children reallylike her. Answers Fran Choiae A is not the best answer beaause you are Previous Page forgetting that Donna, whiZe the size of a · four-year-oZd, is aatuaZZy onZy two. She wiZZ not understand what being a heZper means and probabty witt be unabte to do the speaiat tittte jobs you give her. Choiae B wiZZ be very time-aonsuming and may be frustrating for you and Donna. It is unfair to assume that Donna is going to hit every ahiZd she approaahes. Choiae C is the best answer beaause you are treating Donna as a two-year-oZd, whiah soaiaZZy and mentally she is. Her age may be four, but her abilities are those of a two-year-oZd. Answers Fran Previous Paqe • Choice A lJi7,7, proobabZ.y not worok because you have not ezpZ.ained why Marocia 's am is missing. The chi'tdzeen aroe proobabZ.y making fun of hero because they aroe fearofuZ. of the unknown. Choice B is the best anBUJero because you aroe invoZ.ving the whoZ.e group in a discussion. Marcia's handicap is ezpZ.ained simpZ.y and underostandabZ.y. In discussing Z.ikenesses as we7,7, as differoences~ you heZ.p the chiZ.droen become morae underostanding. Choice C does not he Zp the group underostand Marocia 's handicap. Marocia needs he Z.p with group acceptance~ and you aroe just teHing hero you accept hero; but you aroe not heZ.ping hero deaZ. with the other> chiZdroen . 177. Be Aware Of Your "Style" With Children Your "Skills" can Always nuprove Every caregiver has his or her own way of being with children. We call this special way of Eeiii(j with a child the careqiver's "style.n Your "style" of qivinq care to children canes frau your past experience, what you believe about children and heM you feel about yourself. "Style" of careqivinq is very different frau Q'le IS IIskillII in takinq care Of children. A "skill" is a task you can do well. For example, you have seen a careqiver with the special "style"_ that looks scmeth.inq like the Pied Piper. It may have seEilled when that caregiver appeared, a c:tbwd of children surrounded her almost :imnediately. You were seeinq the out+-lGCJl1~-~e of that caregiver1 s special "style." When the Pied Piper beqan to tell the children about the robin seen D'i ldinq a ne$t that morninq, the caregiver1s "skill" was shadnq. We think that by W%kinq throlqh these m::Xlules your "skills" in 'NCL'kinq with children may change. Since your "style" of careqivinq is nme a part of your persona+ity, it may net chanqe. In other words, "style" is more the way you cane across to others that has been developed fran the time you were born. "Skills" are probably scrnethinq of which you are mre aware and may s~ychange by watchinq saneone else W%k or by readinq scme new hints or ideas. As you can well imaqine, there are many styles of careqivinq, and in every careqivinq team, these many styles will be seen. Idealiy, the team shculd becane aware of these styleS and match the caregiver "style" with the activities for which she or he is responsible. If this is dale, many more of the gcals of quality child care can be reached. By na.rl you are probably ~inqwhat style of careqivinq you have. Try the "Style Scale" on the next page and find out! Circle the nlDber which you feel best agrees with what you believe or de. .. 1. While ta.lk:ing with children, I touch than. 2. Children s1Dlld take partin rule makinq. 3. Children smuJ.d not be punished for their ~doings. 4. Children• s leaminq takeS plaCe all of the time, both during planned and m1planned activities. 5. When I am telli.nq a child what to do, I usually start with "I •..•••• !" 6. Children should be allowed to make their own choices. • 7. I believe ch.ildren sOOul.d be praised and encouraged. 8. The plans for the day shculd be able to be chahged. Usnally True l l . I l l l l l Total Score Sanet:imes Seldan True True 3 5 3 5 3 5 3 5 3 5 3 5 3 5 3 5 -- What Is Your "Style"? If your score was U or below, then ~"style" of careqiving is saaet:hinq like "Touchable Tina's." W:n"king with small groups of children ani qiving spedal help to the child with a pmblan are what "'1'ouchable Tina" does best•. Or perhaps your scare was hiqher than U, but la.er than 26. '!his is llllCh like. the scare of "Friendly Frank" who.'is successful in meetirJq new c:hildren ani wcrkil1q with qroups of ch.ildren. li:Jwever, if your score was 26 or above, then you may be geed at qivinq instructions ani helpinq the qroups of children move fr:aD a1e :t'OCDl to another, like "Ccol-hn·dsd Reidi • " Whatever :your score -remember, your "style" of careqivinq is part of your perscmality ani just as it takes all kinds of perscnalities tc make up the ~ld, it takes all k:inds of "styles" of ~ivers to make up a child care center. Recognize Your OWn Feeling's About Differences • Evexy careqiver l'ias likes arx1 dislikes when it canes to children. careqivers are not perfect and cannot like all children the same. If you becaue aware of your likes arx1 dislikes, the you can understand sane of your feelinqs tcward certain c:hildren arx1 why you sanetimes act the way you do. For aanple, a1e caregiver told us she liked sad children. When we questioned her further, we discovered that when she colld make a sad child lauqh or feel better, she, the careqiver, felt gcod. In ·the United States, many of us have not had a close friendship or much ·EtXp:)SUre to people who are racially or cultumlly very different fran ourselves, or with people who have disabi 1 jties. Lack of exposure may create fear when faced with these differences. This is very natural. It is jmportant for you to be aware arx1 latest about your preference, for example, for a child who cleans up his plate rather than a "picky eater. " An awareness of. your preferences will keep them fran beoc:minq preju:iices. '!hat is, the ncre sensitive that you are to your own reactions to differences, the better able youwill be to assure that your preferences do not affect your behavior in a way that will make the child feel that she is not liked. Discriminatial in any fol:m is especially damaqillq tc yamg children who are fa:ming their self~and have no way of understandi.nq behavior. · It is hal:mful because they don't understand it. As we r..ave said before, children cane in all shapes and sizes. On the next paqe, you can find out hew you feel about sane of these shapes and sizes. LIIther. When a child c:Xmes to a child care center, she or he bec::ates one of many, and you nust face the question about lxM to help the child becx:me part of the gmup of children. Greeting chil dren waxml.y, naking them feel welcane and usingtheir names will help the children feel ilrp:>rtant. Sate children will neve quickly into the groupwith no hesitation. Others may need help. You may need to hold and canfort children who are upset because their parents have gone. Quiet children may tl«aed you to take them to a groupof childl:en involved in looking at books and remain with them for a short tine. Showingchildren the equitment and activities in the roan also helps them knew what to expect and what they may do. Saret::i.nas the easiest way to help children adjust to a gmup situation is to let them kncw you understand hew they feel ("I knew you feel sad, because you miss your nether." "I knc:M you feel scared. There are so many children. "J A single statem:mt \\OrkS best with young children, then drop the subject.. :Ebt.lever, keep reassuring the child throughout the day. Activities which encourage the cooperation of several children -nalting a valentine box for the roan, playing games like Facner In The Dell ·-help children feel like part of a group. Displaying art \\Ork, which the childl:'en have done, on the walls of the roan also gives chil dren a sense of belonging to the gmup. can you think of sc::ne other ways to help children becone part of a group? You~ the caregiver, ltllSt face arx>ther question 'whSi working with the children1 s groups. How can you handle the group of children? Is it better to \\Ork with then in one large gmup or sixml.d there be several smaller groups? How can ·yoU \\Ork with each i.ndividual child in the group? The arlS\\1erS to these questions are not \.7~ve Individna1s Atterlticn Within A Group easy. There are many thinqs you must consider: the total n\mlber of children in the group, their aqes, heM many caregivers are workinq with you, the interests and needs of the children, and your persalal.ity. Although there are many thinqs to consider, keep in mind :that learning to be part of a qroup is a major task of younq children. They need to have experiences in both laxqe and anal1 groups. By beinq a part of a group, children learn that they de not live alone in the world and the needs ~rights of others must be considered. Oti.ldren need to feel that they are loved and ~ .inq part of a group gives than feelings of security, confidence, and belonging. But, if the group is too large with too many children c:rc:M:lec1 in one area, children may be frightened. Larg'e groups are tiring for children and may be the cause of accidents or mi shehavior. It is usually easier for both you and the children if the groups are kept smaller. Instead of ooe large group listening to nusic, it may be better to have several snal.l g:r:oups doing different activities in each area of the roan. This does not rrean children should never be brouqht together as a large group. When there is an ~treason to de so, you -should not hesitate. It is better to ·gather the children in a large group when you have sanething to discuss with all of them, such as, going on a field trip, preparing them for special eventS at the center, or reminding them of playgmund safety rules. Ycur center probably has a pre arran;ed signal, such -as blinkinq the lights or singing a scnq, to quiet the children and brinq than together. Use the signal and save your voice. And remsnber, the time the children are kept in the large, group ~be brief. When you have a child who is very uncanfortable joining either a small group or a large group, you sholld try to give that child attention within the group situation. For example, while ta1kii'iq with the child, you can still be glancing briefly around the roan at the other children -or you can allow the child who is uncanfortable to sit close to you while you read a story to the others. In a center, the individual child and group both need your attention. Sanetimes when the children are in snail groups, you may have to explain to a child that there are too many children already involved in a project or an activity (building blocks, making a sand castle). In this case,. you nust tell him that he will have to wait a tum. Teach Respect Taking turns and sharing are daily experiencesFor Each in a child care center or arry time a group ofOtherIS Rights children is together. A child can learn torespect his rights and the rights of others ifyou help h:im understand that: • he can keep a toy that he is using • he may have any tDy that is not bein; used • he may take only the toys he can use • he tm.lSt wait for a toy that another childis using • he may ask others to have a tum or to share • he must give..everyone a tum on major piecesof equiptalt (swings, climbing bars)and wait in line for his next tum • he may share his toy with others Help Children '!here are times when a child must be rem:wed franWith Their a group ~for inappropriate behavior -hitting,Behavior kicking, tantrums -and helped to solve herproblem. When this happens, the child is out ofcontrol and needs your help to regain control.It is better to rem:we the child to another roan,if at all possible, where she will have onlyherself and you to deal with until she againhas control of herself. When she is ready toreturn to the other children, you should helpher find a place in the group again, perhapsin a favorite activity. Pay Attention Working with groups of children is different fran,To and often ncre demanding than, \04Crking withGroup CUes an indivi.d1.Jal child. By detemi.ning what isbest for the children in the group, you willalso detet:mine what is best for you, the caregiver.If the children are becaning very noisy and afew are ~silly, which bothers the others,it1 s time to get the attention of the childrenand maybe chanqe activities. If the.childrenhave been sitting quietly with puzzles, and youbegin to notice wiggling and arguments startingto take place, perhaps the children need to dosanething rccre active. The behavior of the children can be your guide. By focusing on what isbest for them, you are helping the children takepleasure in being part of the group. 219 • • • Scme Often Asked Questions And Situations To Explore 221 Children can be helped to learn what tO expect in a child care ~ter by, mst importantly, -YOO -and YOQr genuine love and concern for them. Love and huqs are a::NrAGIOUS. If you love, you will be loved in retur.n. Don't be afraid to show that you care•••and, above all...CARE. With your help,. children will learn what life in a center is all about. Renelnber, if we fail to help children understand what to expect, we only increase their feelings of being little and helpless. • WHAT i'OJID YCXJ DO IF ••• Matt has finished his lunch and is wiqgl.inq in his chair while he waits for the other children to finish eating. What can you do to keep Matt occupied while the others finish? A. Say: ''Matt, you may go and look at a book while the rest of the children finish lunch." B. Say: "Matt, stop wiggling and wait quietly until eveeycne is finished eat.inq. The rule is that we sit at the table until everyone is finished eating." c. Say: "Matt, since you have finished your lunch, you. may clean up the scraps off the floor and put them in the trash. You will be my helper. " Answers On Bottan Of Next Paqe Janet, who is two and one half, goes over to Chad, who is two, aQd takes his truck away. Chad .imnediately begins to hc:Ml and tries to pull Janet's hair. What do you, the caregiver, do? Answers Fran Previous Page A. Say: "Janet, Chad had that truck first. ~qive it back to him. You can play with it when he is finished playing. " B. Say: "Chad, you have played ~th that for quite awhile. Why don't you let Janet play with it nt:M, and I'll find you another toy to play with. " c. Say: "That's Chad's truck, Janet. cane with me and I'11 find a truck for you to play with." Choice A is the best answer because it gives Matt something pZeasant and quiet to do away from the group untiZ aZZ have finished eating. Choice B foraes Matt to stay in his chair where he wiZZ continue to wiggZe and probabZy disturb the rest of the chiZdzten. The ruZe is not a verry good one. Choice C is not the best answer because white being teacher's heZper is sometimes fun, in this instance, it probabZy is not. AZso, Matt wiZZ stiZZ be around the Zunch tabZe and may interrupt and sZow down the other chiZdren who are stiZZ eating. Jennifer has played actively all na:ninq and is excited about shopping with her nDther after na.ptime. She says she isn't sleepy and is wigqlinq and sitting up on her cot. HeM can you, the caregiver, help Jennifer settle dcwn? Answers Fran Previous Page A. Tell Jennifer to lie dcwn and when all the children are asleep you will let her get up and look at a book. B. Tell Jennifer that at na.ptime all the children ImJSt rest and to lie dcwn. Say that she will soon be able to sleep and when she wakes up, her nDt:her will be there to pick her up and take her shopping. c. Tell Jennifer to lie quietly on her cot and you will cane to her after the other children ar~ resting quietly. Go to Jennifer and sit quietly beside her and rub her back. Choiae A wiZZ not work with'two-year-otds beaause they don't understand sharing or waiting for a toy. Choiae B wiZZ not work because-again ahiZdren at two do not understand sharing. Choiae C is the best soZution beaause Chad gets his truak and you redireat Janet to another toy. TWo-year-oZds do not understand Zengthy expZana tions. Aations with this age group work best. Betsy1 who is five and a half1 has just begun caning to the center and is havinq trouble foll.owinq the limits. You suspect that she canes fran a tane where she is ~owed to do anything she wants. It is cleanup time, and Betsy refuses to help pick up the scraps of paper amund her table. What do you, the caregiver, do? A. Say: "Betsy, in this roan, we all help clean up after playtime. I wcul.d like for you to pick up six scraps of paper and put them in the trash basket. Then you may go to the roq for storyt:ime." B. Say: "BetsyI if you don't pick up the paperI you will have to sit in the time-out chair and not listen to the story." c. Say: "Betsy1 in this roan, you. must clean up your scraps. NcM I will help you today, bu~ tarorrow1 you will have to pick up the scraps yourself." ~sFran Choice A defeats the purpose of naptime and Previous Paqe gives Jennifer and the other chiZdren the idea that if they are restZess, they ~iZZ be abZe to get up. Choice B is not the best a'n811Jer because you are not reaZZy heZping Jennifer by mentioning the shopping trip. You ~ZZ e~aite her more. Choice C aZZows you to get the other chiZdren settZed down, and then you can heZ.p .Jennifero reZ~ more by PUbbing her back and not taZ.king to her. She ~iZZ probabZy go to sZeep once she reZ~es enough. Children are sittinq down for story and ltllSic just before lunch. They all have to wash their hands before lunch. Hew can you, the caregiver, best hmldl.e this situation? A. Say: "Boys and girls, we are going to sing sane songs before lunch. I will call a fert~ names at a time. When you hear your name, go and wash your hands and then cane back and sinq with us. " B. Say: "After we sing a fert~ songs, it will be lunchtime. The boys may line up to wasn their hands first and then go to the table. The girls will line up after the boys, and wash their hands. " c. Say: "While we sing sane songs, I want the girls to go and wash their hams and then cane back .and sing with us. When all the girls have washed their hands, then the boys may go. When everyone .has washed their hands, we will eat lunch. " Answers Fran Choice A is the best answer because you have Previous Page tol-d Betsy the rul-e and set a reasonabl-e number of scraps for her to pick up. You have ezp7Ained e~actl-y what she is to do. Choice B does not erpl-ain the rul-e and threatens Betsy. She is l-earning nothing about Zimits and how to adhere to them. Choice C gives Betsy the ruZe~ but then. you do not have her adhere to it. You give her an "out" which she wi7,7, probabl-y erpect you to do everyday. • Joe, wbl is 5, is playi.nq in the block area and is buildinq hiqh towers and kickinq them over. You are afraid another child will get lmrt. You explain to Joe that the rule in the block area is that blocks are to be used for bid1dinq, not thrcwinq or kickinq. Joe continues to kick his tcwers. What de you, the caregiver, do? A. Say: "Joe, no m:re playing with the blocks for you! New go sit in the time-out chair until you can rE!I'OEit'Cer lXM we play with blocks." B. Say: "Joe, since you den1t seem to be able to rE!I'OEit'Cer heM to play with blocks' you will have to leave the block· area and not play with than any ncre this nmninq. Perhaps this afternoon or t.acDl:rOW you will retetber the rules for blocks and can play with then." C. Say: "Joe, remember I said den1 t kick the blocks? Now if I catch you kickinq than a1e mre time, you will not be able to play with the blocks aqain. " Choice A is the best an8U1er because aZZ. the children UJi,7,7, be kept busy during ha:ru:bJJa.shing time. AZso, aZZoLYlng a fe~JJ at a time to wash wiZZ not create waiting and confusion in the bathrooms.. This wi7, 7, speed up the process. Choice B is not the best anB7A1el" because none of the children wiZZ have anything to dO whiZe the hantizJJashing is taking pZ.ace. Chi Zdren have a very difficuLt time waiting in tine, and this process wi7,7, create problems. Choice C atzows a Zarge number of ahil.dren to wash their hands at one time, and there 7JJi 1,1, be too tong a period spent waiting for a turn. This witt create problems. 'l!le c::hildren have been involved in a variety of activities and it is new time to clean up and get ready for group time. What is the best way to hmlle this SII:IOthly? A. Say: "Boys and qirls, it is cleanup time. Everyale, stop ncw and put l!MaY the tcys, paper. and c:raycns and ccme to the ru;." B. Say: "Boys and qirls, in a few_minutes when I blink the lights, we will clean up. Watch for the l.iqhts and clean up quickly when they blink." C. Go to each activity and slay, "It is nt:111 time to clean up." Make sure they have started to clean up before you 90 to the next group. Choice A does not state ths ruZe and wiZZ p:robabZy make Joe an.gey so that whsn hs gets out of ths time-out chai~ and goes back to the bZocks~ ths ruZe '~.JiZZ be broken again. Choice B is ths best anS'I.Je~ because you are Zetting Joe know that in orde~ to ptay 7.Ji th the b Zocks ~ hs has to remembe~ the ruZes. Removing him f:rom the bZocks fo~ a period of time '~.JiZZ reenforce the ruZe. He '~.JiZZ Zearn that ptaying with bZocks is a privilege that has ruZes which must be foZl.01JJed. Choice C is not a good anS'I.Jezt because you are taking no action to reinfo~ce ths ruZe. AZso~ whsn you say~ "If I catch you~" it teZZs Joe that hs cannot kick bZocks when you are looking~ but may get C1.7.Ja.Y with it when ·you are not Zooking. Jack, who is two aJXi a half, is playing with the sam and keeps throwing it out of the container cmto the floor. You have. told him twice that the sand stays in the sand-table and ItllSt not be thrown on the floor. What do you, the caregiver, do nt:M? A. Tell Jack you will give him one mre chance and then he will have to go to the time-out chair if he throws the sand aqain. B. Say: "Jack., I told you the sand stays in the sand-table. Now cane with me and we'11 fini sanething else for you to do. 11 C. Say: "Jack, I told you not to throw the sand. Now you can't play with it anyncre. 11 Answers Fran Choice A gives the chiZdren no warning~ and you Previous Page wiZZ probabZy have to go around to each group, teZZing them to cZean up now. This sZows down the proocess. Choice B is the best ans'I.JJero because the chiZdren wiZZ have some time to finish theiro pZay and wiZZ be roeady when you bZink the tights. You wiZZ not have to roemind as many chiZdren a second time if you use this approoach. Choice C s Zows down the c Zeanup process because you have not given the children time to finish theiro pZay. By l.!Jaiting foro each group to finish and begin cZeaning up, the process wiZZ take much Zongero. SUe and Jamie are both four years old. ~love to play together, but they often quarrel over who is to be first, and each seems to want to play with the same toy. They cxme to you to settle all their argunents. How can you, the caregiver, help them to share and play ncre hcippily with each other? A. "SUe and Jamie, you must take turns. Now Jamie, you can play with~ doll first and be the DDther, and then give SUe a turn to be the mxher." B. "SUe and Jamie, since you can't play nicely with each other, you had better each play in a different place and not play together for awhile." c. "It sounds to me as if ya.i tw:> are having trouble decidinq hew to play l'x:nlse. COUld one of you. be the aunt, or neighbor, or grandmother, while the other one is the m:rt:her. Perhaps you can think of a way that both. of you can take care of the 'baby' tcgether. " Answers Fran Choice A T.JiZZ probably not WOl'k because Previous Page ~-yeaP-olds don't undel'stand about chances Ol' thl'eats. Action is the best policy. Time-out chail's aPe confusing to the two-yeaP-oZd and makes him feaPful. Choice B is the best answer because you _have to z.a. him U}hel'e the sand be'tongs, and since this isn't WOl'king, you l'edil'ect his attention to anothel' play aPea. Again action, not wol'ds, wol'ks best T.Jith the two-yeaP-oZd. Choice C does not heZp Jack find something eZse to do, and you lJiZZ. pl'obabZy have a tempe!' tantl'Um on yoUl' hands lJith this appl'Oach. Answers Fran Previous Page Choiae A does not aZZ01JJ the ahiZdren to make their o1Jm deaision on how to pZay. You make the deaision for them and are encouraging them to aontinue to aome to you with their arguments. Choiae B does not soZve the probZem beo.ause you are separating the girZs and not aZZowing them to work out a solution. Choiae C is best beaause it states the problem as you see it and suggests alternative ways to p.lay. You also are encouraging the ahilaren to try and work out their own solutions. This wiZZ eventua.ZZy pay off by having them aome to you less for soLutions. / • A POSTVIEW Hen! are sare new situations with possible ways of hanninq them. Circle the answer you think is correct row that you have worked thmuqh this first ncdule. You can find out lx:M IlllCh you have leamed about :rour mle as a cm:eqiver in a child care center by cx.ap~.rinq your cloice of answers with our answers (see paqe 253). AS AN INPOR£0 CARmiVER, WBM' NXJID YOO DO IF ••• 1. Tr:ina1 s father tells you that 'l'r:ina, a five-year-old, has gone back to soilinq her pants, after havinq been totally toilet trained since aqe two. The father asks you what sOOul.d be done. As a careqiver, you: A. SUggest to the father that perhaps Trina shculd be seen by a doctor. B. SUggest to the father that Tr:ina, like so many other children, is begjnn.:inq to soil herself because she is jealous of her baby sister. c. Sugqest to the father that Trina1s eating' habits may need to be changed. 2. Mary is paintinq a huge valentine and asks you what two colors she can mix to make pink. As a caregiver, you say: A. "Mary, the colors that make pink are red and white." B. ''Mary, do~remember when we mixed paints? What color did we use to make the other colors lighter? Gocxi! Now what oolor might. you add to the white to make pink?" c. "Mary, first take sane white paint and then add sane red. Add ally a snall am::runt at a t::iinfl! so you can get the pink you want." 3. Clint, who is six, has been workinq hard at leaminq to print his name. He amtinual.ly puts the "l" first in his name and then the "C." Clint has just finished Q:)inq this. He waJ.ks over to you and asks you to a:mteut on his work. What can you say to help Clint c:on-ect his mistake? As a caregiver, you say: A. "Clint, here, let me sb:lw you how }'OUr name is printed." B. "Clint, the 1 i, 1 1n, 1 and 1t 1 are in the right places. Now try puttinq the 1CI first and. then the 11 I 11 o c. "Clint, you can de a better job than this. Now try aqain." 4. It is alncst tine for the chi.ldren to go outside to play, and they are finishing a variety of activities. It is time to clean up, and you wool.d like for than to de this without a lot of CCilfusicn and noise. As a ca.reqiver, you say: A. "Boys and qi.rls, it is alllcst cleanup time, so try to finish what you are deinq. I will tell you when it is cleanup time." B. "Boys aDi qirls, the first children to clean up quietly will be the first to go out and play." c. "'Soya and girls, it is time to clean up." Then qo to each activity ani help than get started. s. carl, an eiqht-year-old, has been playinq baseball. While tuming' to catch the ball, he runs into the outside wall of the center. At first, carl lies quietly. Then he begins to thrash his axms and vaait. You are afraid carl is goinq into shock. As a caregiver, you: A. Tell the other children to amtinue to play. Then you pick up carl, take him to the center, and cover him with a bl.anket. B. Ask saze of the children to help c:any carl to the center. Then ask the direct:cr to examine carl. c. Ask one of the other c:hildren to go and get the director. The di.rectcr will examine carl and take the proper steps in carinq for him. 6. Tan, age three, always cries when father leaves. Father has cane back several times to canfort Tan. Since you w::nlld like to help both Tan ani his father, as a careqiver, you: A. Tell father the plans for the day and assure h:im you wi.ll stayclose to Tan for a wrt period of time. You then sugqest to father that he Call after an lrJur or so and receive a report on Tan. B. Tell fatber this often ~with three-year-olds. Then su9gest the father stay for awhile ·unt.i.l Tan gets involved in SOlie activity. c. Tell father that children usnal Jy stop cryi.nq shortly and that · he sb:luld laave. Alae explain that you will Witch TaD c:arefully. 7. Each time the other caregivers are unhappy with sanethinq at the center, they ask you to speak with the director. You are becatdnqc:oncexned that the director may think you are a troublemaker. As a c:areqi.ver, you discuss the situation: A. With the careqivers who request you to speak with the director. B. With the director and explain h::M you feel. c. With your friaxis ~fini out what they \tQlld do. 8. Anthony ~calls people names when he does not get his way. This carries over even to call inq the careqiver nanes, like "Bossy," when he is asked to oo sanet:h.in;. How can you help Antlxmy leam ucreacceptabl.e behavior? As the careqiver, you: A. Tell Antb:my you carJZ'Ot allcw h:im to call anlQ'le names. Then say, "In our roan, 'We tell people h::M 'We feel witmut name-callinq. I£ you call people names, then you will have to sit c3Jwn and oot play for awhile. n B. Tell Anthcny when he calls people names, they think he is silly.Then say, "Anthony, I want you to ·think about other w.ys of talkinq to people wi.~t cal 1.ing then names." C. Tell Arlth:xly name-callinq is a bad habit. Then say, "Antb:;)ny,I am go.inq to ask your nether to wash your DCUth out -with soapwhen ycu call people names at heme. " 9. Ann, wt¥) is five years old, was bom with a1e leq shorter than the other. She is able to neve about quite freely: lxlwaver, sare of the children tease her and call her "Liltpy." As a caregiver, you: A. Tell Ann that children cbl't ucderstand about her leq and suggest that she explain it to them. Then give Am saxa tilre in fmnt of t;he children to talk about her handicap. B. Tell the children durinq gmup tilre that you am gcinq to discuss the ways people lcok different. Ann•s l.ilrp will probably a:rne up, alonq with the dif:ferax:as allCI'1CJ the other • children. Then have the children discuss hal people am the same. c. Tell the chil.dren they should net call other children names. Explain that people wbc are handica;ped feel badly about t:hansel.Ve&. Ask the children to think of ways they can nake Am feel better. 10. Prissy is very interested in pl..ayinq with the large bloclcs and other large muscule toys. When Prissy•s nether o:::mas to the center, she always asks if Prissy has painted today. She then bec:aras very upset if Prissy has nct. As a caregiver, you ~: A. "Prissy did net want to paint tcday, but she did want to play with the blccks. Playjnq with bla::ks is a. of Prissy's favorite activities.11 B. "Prissy did net get axound to paintinq today. She usually paints such excellent pictures, and I am sure sha will paint mre in the future. 11 c. "Prissy really enjoyed playing with the bl.oc:1cs t:cday. 'l'orrcrrow, we are goinq to talk about oolars. I have an .art activity plarmed \titi.ch I think Prissy will enjoy." ll. Pepe, who is two years old, tries to grab one of Jane.•s l.al:ge puzzle pieces. Jane begins to whine cmd tries to push Pepe BMa.Y. As a camqiver, you ~ • A. "Pepe, Jane had the puzzle first. I camct alle7fol you to take another childIS tD':/•II B. "Pepe, that is Jane•s puzzle. Here, you nay play with this puzzle of an apple." c. "Pepe, you nust wait your tum. You may have the puzzle next." 12. When Debbie, a four-y~ld, becanes angry she pinches other children. Many of the parents have oc:.nplained about bruises they see on their children, where Debbie has pinched them. How can you help Debbie find amther way of dealing with her angry feelinqs? As a careqiver, you tell Dehbie: A. "I cannot allow you to pinch the other children, Qebhie. In our · roan we tell people lxJw we feel instead of pinching them." If Debbie pinches aqain, tell her she IIL1St sit dcwn for awhile and not play. B. "Debbie, IrOthers and fathers are lly, you be the teacher, and, Julie, you and Gina are the students. Next, Julie, you can be the teacher and finally, Gina can be the teacher." · 15. Juan, a very active three-year-old, continually tries to cl:imb the slick part of the slide in the activity z:cc::m. He gets in the way of the other. children when they tcy to use the slide the, correct way. You have told him twice that if he wishes to slide, he can clJmb the ladder like the other children. What Q:) you do 't'DW1 As a caregiver, you say: A. "Juan, ytJU have been told :tDI to use the slide. New a:me with me, arK! we will find sc::methi.nq else for you to Q:)." B. "Juan, you have one ncre chance to use the slide the right way. • If you tcy to clim the slick side again, you will have to sit in the time-out chair." c. "Juan, you have been told net to try to clJmb thiS part of the slide. Now go find sc:mething else to play." 16. Darla, aqe four, has a qreat deal of trouble sittinq next to a:tri other chUd durinq st:ceyt:im!. Today, it was necessary to ask her to neve several times because she a:mt:inued to bother the. chiJ.dren next to her. When Darla' ItCther left today, she said, "I wmt you. to tell me b:M Darla dces today, because I have told her she cannot be a bad girl when she a:mes to the center." When the ItDther retums, she asks, ''Well, :tDI was she?" As a caregiver, you say" A. "Darla was better tcday. I only had to neve her a fat t:imes dllrinq st:oryt:ime." B. "Darla had trouble sittinq quietly today, 1xlt I am sure she will :improve in the future. She seems to lea:m rapidly." c. "Darla is tryinq hard at the center. I am plaminq to tell her b:Jw well she does when she sits quietly at stcryt:ime. n 17. Melvin, in the scb::lol-aqe :rcan, often runs into thinqs. Today, he has fallen fxan the slide. First Melvin cries and then he begins to c:at;)lain about his am hurtinq. You are wcnderinq if Melvin's am is broken or if he is play-actinq. As a caregiver, you fill out an accident ~rtand then: A. wait tmtil his parents arrive. At that time you explain to the parents what happened and request they take Melvin to the doctor for an x-ray. B. Ignore Melvin's CX~~Pl.aints, blt watch hlm closely. If Melvin ncves his am, you will kmw it is not broken. c. Take Melvin to the director. Then, the director can examine Melvin's am and take the proper action. 18. Tarmy is painting when the neighbor arrives to get him. The neighbor is in a hurry because her own children are alx>ut to arrivel'x::rce fran sc.OOOl. She says that she cannot wait for Tarmy to finishhis painting. As a caregiver, you: A. Tell Tatmy he ImlSt leave row and can finish the painting tCJ'rl:)rrow,or he may take it 1xrre to finish. B. Tell Tarmy to find his coat and hat. Explain to him theneighbor1 s children will be o:ming·· lxrne soon and he Im.lSt• hun:y• C. Tell Tcmny he can finish the painting. Then tell the neighborit will take only a few minutes and her children will understand because they are older. 19. ronald1 s rrother is late caning for him. He has been prepared toleave for sane tiire, and now he keeps de'nanding, ''Where is mynether? When is she cariing?" As a caregiver, you: A. Tell ronald his rrother will be bere soon and he smuld findsatething to do until she arrives. B. Tell rk>nald his nether will be here sh::>rtly. Then help rk>naldbusy himself with an easy-to-put-away activity until shearrives. c. Tell Donald he must learn to be patient, to sit down and waituntil she arrives. 20. Terry, a four-year-old, is seated for snack time. Today you areserving popcorn and Terry begins to throw his at a friend. Youexplain to Terry that snacks are to eat, net to throw. When youturn your back Terry begins to throw the popcorn. As the caregiver, you say: A. "Terry, I will keep your f'OJ;:COrn for you until you can rememberthat r;opcorn is to eat, not to throw." B. "Terry, no rrore snacks for you. Go sit in the time-out chairuntil you can rernanber what snack time is for. " C. "Terry, remember, I said not to throw the popcorn. Now stopit!" 251 " • • • • • • OOR ANSGS Situation 1 A Situatial 2 B Situatial 3 B Situetion 4 A Situatial 5 c Situatial 6 A Situation 7 A Situation 8 A Situation 9 B Situation 10 c Situation ll B Situation U A Situation 13 A Situation 14 a Situation l5 A Situation 16 c Situation 17 c Situation 18 A Situation 19 B Situation 20 A 253 ~U.S. GOVERNMENT PRINTING OFFICE: 1982 0-371-118 • • • • " ' SUNY/BUFFALO UNIVERSITY LIBRARIES 1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111 . 3 9072 02229013 8 . .. )