\\ \ \\ \\ Cornell University Library Ithara, New York FROM TH E BENNO LOEWY LIBRARY COLLECTED BY BENNO LOEWY 1854-1919 BEQUEATHED TO CORNELL UNIVERSITY HU: rsity Lib: PR 4879.16012 rn Srey The Obliviad: a satire. With ni HOM A ; THE OBLIVIAD. A SATIRE. THE GULF OF OBLIVION. THE O- BLIVIAD: A Satire. WITH NOTES. TOGETHER WITH ADDITIONAL Notes, PREFAce, AND SUPPLEMENT, BY THE AMERICAN EDITOR. AND Tue PrerrperuaL CoMMENTARY OF THE ATHENAUM. L William Leeeh 3 \ Af@y carevenhOnour. Diom. Schol., apud Bent. @s bre tis pas Wérpy éxl rpoBafr: Kabhwevos, iepdy ixOby "Ex wdyrowo Sbpate Aly Kal fvomt XarKe. liad. Lib. xvi. v. 406, Sed nos obliterata quoque scrutabimur: nec deterrebit quarundam rerum humilitas, Plin. Hist. Lib. xiv. Procem, NEW YORK: JAMES MILLER, 779 BROADWAY. LONDON: B. QUARITCH, 15 PICCADILLY. MDCCCLXXIX. ( fate tlie ASF 7. 127 Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1879, by Dr. WILLIAM LEECH, In the Office of the Librarian of Congress, at Washington, D. C. Trow's oy PRINTING AND BookBtnDING CoMPANY. 205-213 Mast Twelfth Street, New York. TO DIONYSIUS LARDNER BOUCICAULT, ESO. DEDICATION. N one respect at least, I may, without impu- tation of vanity, claim kindred with Boileau ; who said of himself, ye saz pew louer: for, just now, I am not i th’ vein to praise. To be plain, could I find a better, to him I would de- dicate in place of Boucicautt; the Congreve, or shall I rather say, Southerne of the age, who, after a long interval, has again raised the price, not only of plays and prologues, but of wit. I have declared war against the block- heads of the day, and naturally seek an alliance with the foremost of the opposite powers; for when it is known under what conduct I take the field, I cannot fail to enlist on my side whatever there is of genius and erudition in the nation. It is now upwards of half a cen- tury that the dullards have it all their own way; DEDICATION. still, even thus, am I willing to bring the mat ter to the last arbitrement, which is ridicule, that weapon of all others the most formidable to the dunce, as it is to the knave and hypo- crite. Cut, thrust, and parry; if I fail, let it, at all events, be confessed, that I drew pen in a worthy cause, and. that I had the counte- nance of BoucicavuLtT. “Nec tam Turpe fuit vinci, quam contendisse decorum est.” Tue AUTHOR OF THE OBLIVIAD. NAMES OF PERSONS CELEBRATED IN THIS POEM. The first number shews the Book; the second, the Verse. Aff. Appendix. Supp. Supplement. “I would have the Names of those Scribblers printed indexically, at the beginning or end of the Poem, with an account of their works, for the Reader to refer to;"’ [which accoun?, in the Obliviad, will be found in the Notes. ] SwIFT, to Pope, Dublin, July 16, 1728, fay” For an INDEX, including, with the Names, the principal Matters in the Poem, turn to the End of the Volume. A. Accius Labeo, i. 140. Ainsworth, J. S. i. 253. Ames, Mrs. iv. 313. Arnold, Mathew, i. 157. Arnolds, iii. 399. Aristarchus, iv. 143. Arthur, King, iii. 109. Ass, Full-bred, i. 268. —, passim. Athenzads, ass above. Atreus, iv. 61. Attila, the Hun, iv. 146. Aytoun, iii. 243. B. Baboon, the Raw, iv. 17. Baines, Edward, M.P., i. 219. Bancroft, Poet and Historian, iv. 224. Barnard, ii. 103. Barnum, iii. 267. Bats, iii. 264. Bavius, i. 46. Baxter, Wm. Ed., M.P. i. 219. Bear, German, iv. 174. Beecher, Mrs. Stowe, iv. 281. The Rev. H. W. iv. Supp. 16. Berkley, The Hon. G, &c. i. 179. Besaleel, ii. 81. Blackmore, iii. 110. Blockheads, passim. Beeotians, iii. 60. Bootblacks, iv. 26. Boulton, iv. 364. Bourgeois Gentilhomme, iii. 162. ii PERSONS CELEBRATED IN THIS POEM. Braddon, Miss, iv. 58. Brentano, iv. 354. Bret, vid. Harte. Brigham Young, iv. Supp. to. Brougham, iv. 361. Brooks, iv. zbid. - Browning, ii. 276. iii. 260, Buchanan, Robt. i. 137. iii. 186. Bull, John, iii. 211. Bullfrog, iv. 411. Bulwer, The Rt. Hon. i. 61. iii. 7O. Burdell, Mrs. iv. 326. Burritt, Elihu, i. 202. Butler, iii. 398. Byron, Hen James, iii. 395. Byron, Lord, iv. 281. Byron, Lady, zd. C. Calcraft, the Hangman, iv. 70. Caponsacchi, Priest, iii. 289. Cardinals, iv. 394. Carlyle, Thos. iv. 143. Carpen, Mr. R i. 193. Catiline, ii. 236. Chaos, i. 113. Chariclea, i. 254. Cheerilus, iii. 124. Chorley, the Melodious, ii. 327. Close, the Poet, ii. 211. €ockney, ii. 283. Codrus, i. 225. iii. 412. Colonna, Guido, ii. 72. Cora, vid. Crutch. Coyne, iii. 395. Critick, who hanged himself, ii. 313. Cromwell, iv. 153. Crutch, Emma, puzain, ili. 17. Cumming, the Rev. i. 157. Dz Day and Martin, iii. 174. Delian Diver, iii. 176. Dennis, Critick, i. 124. Dick, vid. Dickens. Do. vid. Dixon. Dickens, iv. 11. Dinah, Miss, ii. 33. Dixon, Hepworth, hero of the Poem, fassim. Doggerel, ii. 34. Dogs, Educated, ii. 303. Domitian, iii. 403. Donkeys, ii. 303. Doré, iii. 144. Dunces, real names, i. 4. Dundreary, iii. 205. Dun, the follower of Gregory, iv. 70. E. Eggleston, the Rev. Ed. iii. 387. Eliot, Miss George, iv. 104. Ephemera, i. 67. Erebus, iii. 141. Eumenes, King, i. 222. F. Falstaff, iv. 460. Fagin, i. 374. Famine, iv. 453. Farnie, iii. 399. Ferret, i. 88. Field, Miss Kate, iv. 319. Fraser, of the Magazine, i. 179. Froude, i. 158. G. Gilder, the Sonnetteer, iii. 397- Garroter, ii. 409. 4 PERSONS CELEBRATED IN THIS POEM. iii Genseric, the Vandal, iv. 146. Gladstone, iv. 392. e¢ infra. Gleigh, The Rev. i. 157. Geese, i. 270. Goose, ii. 188. Gosling, zid. Goth. i, 331. Gran Virtuoso, i. 248. Gregory the Great, iv. 70. Grubs, i. 65. Gyon, friseur, ii. 173. H. Harte, i. 168. Hay, ballad-monger, iii. 397. Head, Sir Francis, i. 158. Helmbold, iv. 245. Hemerobion, i. 67. Hepworth, vid. Dixon. His Reverence, iii. 387. Hog, i. 269. Holland, Josiah G. iii. 360. Hollingshead, John, ii. 113. Holmes, Mrs. iv. 319. Hottentots, iv. 247. Houghton, Baron, iii. 399. Howitts, i. 94. Hudibras, iii. 176. Hughes, Thos. M.P. i. 217. L Ignorance, Goddess of, ii. 51. Judy, iii. 176. K. Ketch, Jack, iv. 70. 464. Kinglake, i. 179. L. Lady Waiters, iv. Sup. 20. Lais, the Courtezan, ill. 17. Launcelot, App. 24. Leming, the Rat, i. go. Lemon, Mark, iii. 396. Lilliput, Prince of, iii. 424. Locker, Frederick, iii, 186. Locusts, ii. 96. Longfellow, Wad. i. 164. iii. 410. Lully, Raymundus, ii. 295. Lytton, Ed. Rob. Bul. i. 142. M. Mackay, Charles, LL.D. i. 141. Mackheath, the Highwayman, iil. 77. Maelstrom, i. 145. Magruder, Dennis, iv. 419. Manning, Miss, iv. 104. Mark Twain, iv. 411. Marsyas, iv. 540. Massey, Gerald, ii. 112. Mayhew, Henry, i 93. Mayor of Liverpool, iv. 50. Do. of Manchester, ibid. Medea, iv. 62. Melville, Geo. i. 179. Melley, i. 217. Mercury, iv. Supp. v. ult. Merlin, 4p. 28. Mill, Jno. i. 217. Miller, Joaquin, sud fix. Thos. ii. 112. Minnows, i. 70. Mole, i. 74. Moloch, iv. 456: Moulton, iv. 309. Monmouth, Geof. ii. 71. Morris, ii. 81. Moses, Jew, ii. 389. Mormons, iv. 305. Moxon, ii. 212. Mudie, ii. 75. iv Mulock, Miss D. M. i. 93. Mummy, i. 223. N. Nasby, iv. 361. Neale, The Rev. i. 179. O. Oblivion, the Goddess of, i. 115. Onan, iv. 299. Ouida, Miss Ram, ii. 34. 83. Owl, iv. 443. P. Pamphile, Modiste, ii. 214. Pardee, iv.-365. Peck, /d7d. Pentheus, i. 314. Peter the Great, ii. 355. Petronius, i. 283. iv. 513. Pilgrim Pastors, iv. Supp. 18. Pio Nono, iv. 394. Plummer, ili. 393. Poet Close, ii. 111. Pompilia, iii. 295. Preceptor, in Lucian, ii. 300. Proctor, Mrs. iv. 309. Proctor, Barry, i. 142. Proculus, iv. 308. Punch, iii. 169. Q. Quixote, Don, ii. 76. R. Rachel, Madame, iv. 465. Rag Pickers, i. 93. Ramage, ii. 178. Rat, Norwegian, i. go. PERSONS CELEBRATED IN THIS POEM. Reade, Jno. Mund. i. 137. iii. 393- Reade, Mr. Charles, iv. 440. Reeve, iii. 399. Reid, Capt. Mayne, i. 93. Romance, i. 287. 313. 328. Roosevelt, iv. 364. Ruskin, i. 158. S. Sabin, Joe, i. 43. iv. 375. Sala, i. 350. iv. ITT. Saltus, iii, 334. Saunders, the Unsocial, iv. 329. Sears, iv. 242. Settle, iv. go. Sewell, C. Missing, iv. 104. Shang, iii. 336. Sibyl, iii. 262. Silius, iii, 103. Sin, i. 290. Sir Tristan, App. 24. Slawkenbergius, ii. 152. Snakes, i. 57. Southcote, Johanna, iv. 325. Swinburne, Alg. ii. 217. 276. iii. 207. Sylla, the Illiterate, iv. 441. as Taine, the Sensation Hist. iii. 341. Tars, King of, ii. 73. Taylor, Bayard, i. 93. Tennyson, Laureate, i. Io. ii. 278. iii. T10. 142. Thersites, ii. 47. Thornbury, ii. 113. Tilton, iv. Supp. 20. Timotheus, the Musician, ii. go, ’ PERSONS CELEBRATED IN THIS POEM. Toads, i. 57. Torrens, Wm., M.P. i. 217. Trimalchion, iv. 25. Trollope, Anthony, iv. 193. Trowbridge, iv. 414. Turpin, ii. 71. Turk, iv. 430. V. Venus Meretrix, ii. 212. Do. the Various, iv. 517. Vermin, i. 75. Vulture, iv. 57. W. Walt. vid. Whitman. Warner, iv. 413. Whang, iii. 336. What: Is-It ? iii. 267. Whitman, iii. 334. Wood, Mrs. Henry, i. 94. Worsley, i. 140. ¥. Yankee, i. 163. Yonge, Charlotte, iv. 104. Ze Zoilus, i. 44. iv. 541. % % & #, 1. 374. ii. 413. % % 4%, iL 4I5. % &, il. 417. Lisl OF WORKS QUOTED, AND OF AUTHORS NAMED, IN THE OBLIVIAD.: TITLE, TEXT, NOTES, PREFACE, AND DEDICATION. Sumpsi, non Surripui. ‘Tn order to assist those who may wish to verify my references, and also with a view of indicating the nature and extent of the materials which I have used, I have drawn up the following list of the principal works quoted in the present volume.”.—Buckle’s History of Civilization in England, Ostendere, non Ostentare, [For Authors reviewed, consult Index.] AcapEMy, The. A Weekly Review of Literature, Science, and Art. 4to. London. ADDISON, The Right Honourable Joseph, Works of. 4to. 4 vols. Tonson, London, MDCCXXI. AELIANI Variz Historie libri XIV. cum Interpret. Justi Vulteii, et Notis Variorum. 8vo. Argentor., 1713. AESCHYLI Tragediz Septem. Gr. cum Versione Latina. 8vo. 2vol. Foulis, Glasgue, 1794. ALEXANDER. Cy cémence-lhystoire du tres vaillat noble preux et hardy roy Alexadre le grat. 4to. Lyon. Sans date. ALISON, ARCHIBALD. History of Europe, from 1789 to 1815. 8vo. tovols. Edinburgh, 1840-1842. ALUREDI BEVERLACENSIS. Annal., sive Historie de Gestis Regum Britanniez, Libris IX. Ed. Hearne. 8vo. Oxon., 1716, 8 LIST OF WORKS QUOTED. ARBUTHNOT, JOHN, M.D., The Miscellaneous Works of. 8vo 2 vols. Glasgow, 1751. Idem. In Pope’s Correspondence, Works, by Warton. 8vo. g vols. London, 1797. APOLLINIS Versiculi, seu Delphorum Oracula, qua supersunt. Amstelodami, sine Anno. ARIOSTO, Orlando Furioso, con Nuovi Discorsi di G. Ruscelli, nel principio de Canti. 24mo. 2vol. Venet., 1561. ARISTOBULI, Vit. Alex. apud. Athen. Deipnosophist. ex edit. J. Schweigheuser. 8vo. 14 vol. Argentorati, 1801. ARISTOPHANIS Comoediz Novem. Gr. et Lat. cum Emendationibus Jo. Scaligeri. 12mo. Lugd.-Bat., 1624. ARISTOTELES, Apud Athenzum, De Deipnosophistis. Not. Var. Schweighzuserus. vo. 14 vol. Argent., 1801. ARISTOTELIS de Pcetica liber, Gr. et Lat. Versionem refinxit, et Animadver. illus. Tyrwhitt. 8vo. Oxon., 1806. ATHEN#I Deipnosophista, cum Not. Varior. et Animadvers. Schweighzuseri. 8vo. 14 vol. Argent., 1801. ATHENZUM. A paper, with Reviews of Novels of the Week, and Advertisements of Writers out of place. London: near the Strand. Ausonil, D. MaGNI, Opera Omnia, ex Ed. Bipont. In Usum Delphini. Not. Var. Valgy, Londini: 1823. BACON, FRANCIS, LORD, Works of. Edited by Basil Montagu. With a New Life. 8vo. 17 vols. London, 1825. BAPTIST PORT Phytognomonica. Fol. Neapolis, 1583. BASIL ST. Op. Om., Gr. et Lat. Opera et stud. Garnier et Maran. Fol. 3 vol. Parisiis, 1721. BAYLE, Dictionnaire Historiq. et Critiq. 3°. édit. corrigée et aug- mentée. Fol. 4 vol. Rotterdam, 1720. BEATTIE, JAMES, LL.D. Essays on Truth, Poetry, Music, and Classical Learning. 8vo. 2vols. Dublin, MD,CC,LXXVIIL. BEECHER, WARD, The Rev., Trial of, on Charge of Crim. Con, 2vols. 8vo. New York, 1876. LIST OF WORKS QUOTED. 9 BEHN, Mrs. APHRA, Plays by. The Second Edition. 8vo. 2 vols. London, 1716. BELGRAVIA, A London Magazine. Piccadilly. BELoT, M. JEAN, Les CEwvres de, contenant la Chiromence, l’Art de Mémoyre de R. Lulle, &c. 8vo. A Rouen, M.DC.XL. BENTLEY. A Dissertation upon the Epistles of Phalaris. With Answer to Boyle. 8vo. Bowyer. London, MDCCLXXVII. BERGERI, lo. GVILIELMI, Stromatevs Academicvs. 4to. Lip- sie, CID IDCC XLV. BEvyYs, Sir, of Southampton, the Son of Guy Erle of Southamp- ton. 4to. * BIBLIA SACRA POLYGLOTTA, ex vetustiss. MSS. Edidit Brianus Waltonus, S.T.D. Fol. Londini, 1657. BICHAT, XAvV. Recherches Physiologiques sur la Vie et la Mort, 8vo. A Paris, An. XIII. BLACKMORE, SIR RICHARD. Prince Arthur: an Epic Poem, in Ten Books. Fol. London, 1696. BLUE Laws OF CONNECTICUT, Quaker Laws, &c. Compiled by An Antiquarian. 1I2mo. Hartford, 1838. Boccaccio. Il Decamerone, Nuovamento corretto, e con diligen- tia stampato. 4to. Firenze, 1527. BOcCALINI, TRAJANO. La Secretaria di Apollo. Che segue gli Ragguagli di Parnaso. 24mo. Amst., MDCLIII. BOILEAU DESPRE£AUX. Ses CEuvres, avec des Eclaircissemens don- nés par lui-méme. Brossette. Fol. 2 vol. Amster., 1718. BOISROBERT, FRANCOIS METEL DE. Recueil de Contes. Let- tres. Paris. Bosto ANTONIO. Roma Sotterranea, Opera Postuma, nella quale si tratta de’ sacri Cimiterii di Roma. Fol. Roma, 1632. Bossu, Le Chanoine. Traité du Poéme Epique. Nouvelle Edi- tion, revié et corrigée. 12mo. Paris, M.DCCVIII. BosweELu. Life of Johnson. With Additions, and Johnsoniana, By Croker. tovols. 12mo. London, MDCCCXXXIx. 1* 10 LIST OF WORKS QUOTED. BOUCICAULT, Dionystus LARDNER. London Assurance, A Co- medy in five Acts. London, 1841. BOYLE, THE HON. CHARLES. Bentley’s Dissertations on the Epistles of Phalaris, Examined by. 8vo. London, 1698. BRENTANI Opera Omnia que extant. Fol. Vol. 17. Novi Eboraci, 1878, BRITISH ESSAYISTS, with Prefaces, Historical and Bidgraphical. By A. Chalmers. 45 vols. 12mo. London, 1808. BRUT-Y-BRENHINED, or The History of the Kings of Britain. By Tyssilio. In Welsh Archeology. BUFFON, CEuvres Complétes. Daubenton. Nouvelle Edition, par Lamouroux. 4ovol. 8vo. Paris, 1824. BULWER, EDWARD, LorD LYTTON, Novels. 28 vols. London, 1876. Poetry and Miscellaneous Pieces, in many volumes, by several Publishers, in various places, at different times. BuRTON, ROBERT. Anatomy of Melancholy in Three Partitions. By Democritus, Junior. 8vo. 2 vols. London, 1806. BUTLER, JosEPH, D.C.L., Right Reverend Father in God, Bishop of Durham, Sermons by. 2nd ed. London, 1729. Byron, LORD, GEORGE GORDON NOEL. Works, with his Life and Letters. Moore. 12mo. 17 vols. London, 1833. CapMI Litere Sexdecim,,cum Lit. IV. SIMONIDH, et EPI- CHARMI Lit. quatuor. Fol. Ex Cod. MS. CALCRAFT, The Hangman, Letters of. Printed, published, and sold, in Wellington Street, Strand, London. CAREW, THomas. Poems, Songs, and Sonnets; together with a Mask. 8vo. Edin., 1824. CASSANDRE, Roman, par La Calprenede, (Gautier de Costes, sieur de). 8vo. tovol. Paris, 1642. CATULLUS, TIBULLUS, et PROPERTIUS. Interpretatione et Not. a Silvio. Inusum Delphini. 4qto. Paris, 1685. Ca#saRIs, C. JULI, Opera, studio Montani et Scaligeri. 8vo. Amst., 1670. LIST OF WORKS QUOTED. Il CHARICLE, (De Amoribus) Athiopum Regis Filia, et Theagenis, Libri X. Gr. et Lat. 2vol. Argent., 1798. CHESTERFIELD, Earl of. Letters to his Son, with other Pieces. Published by Mrs. E. Stanhope. 8vo. 4 vols. London, 1774. CuHor.LEy, H. F. Twenty Opera-Books, paraphrased from the French, German, and Italian. London, by the Thames. CHRISTIAN DOCTRINE in the Second Century. 12mo. London, 1824. CHRONICLE, The London, or Universal Evening Post, with Intro- duction by S. Johnson. January, 1757. CICERONIS Opera, ex ed. Oliveti et Ernesti sedula recensione ac- curata. 18mo. 12 vol. Londini, 1820. CLARISSA HARLOWE. The Complete Works of Samuel Richard- son. Mangin. 8vo. 19 vols. London, 1811. CLEOBULUS. Septem Sapientum et eorum qui cum iis adnume- rantur, scite dicta, Consilia et Pracepta nimirum, Cleobuli, etc. 8vo. Parisiis, 1551. COLERIDGE, S. T. Specimens of his Table Talk, compiled by Thomas Allsop. 8vo. 2 vols. London, 1835. COLMAN, GEORGE, Junior. My Nightgown and Slippers. Quarto. London, 1797. COLONNA, GUIDO de. Historia destructionis Troie composita per Judicem Guidonem de Columna. 4to. Lovanii. ConFuCcIuUS Sinarum philosophus, sive scientia Sinensis latine exposita, Studio PP. Soc. Jesu. Fol. Parisiis, 1687. CONGREVE, WILLIAM, The Dramatic Works of. 12mo. 2 vols. London, 1773. CouRTEZzAN, Life of, by H——- D——. Printed, and to be found, in Holywell Street, and in Another Place, near the Strand, London. CRANTZ, DAVID. History of Greenland, from the Dutch. 2 vols. 8vo. London, 1767. CRETENSIUM, seu, potius, MINOIS, Leges. Codex Vet. in Aid. Vat. Sine anno et loco. 12 LIST OF WORKS QUOTED. CRITICAL REVIEW. 8vo. London, 1756. DACIER, MADAME. Des Causes de la Corruption du Goust. 12mo A Paris, M.DCCXIV. DEFOE, DANIEL. A Journal of the Plague Year: By a Citizen who continued all the while in London. 8vo. London, 1722. DEMOSTHENIS Orationes Philippice. Gr. et Lat. Ex recensione Jos. Stock. 8vo. 2vol. Dublini, 1773. DENNIS, JOHN, The Select Works of. 8vo. 2 vols. London, 1718, DERBY, EDWARD, Earl of. The Iliad of Homer rendered into . English blank verse. 8vo. 2 vols. London, 1864. DICTIONARY of the English Language, with a History and Gram- mar. JOHNSON. Folio. London, MDCCLXXIII. D1oDoRI SICULI Biblioth. Histor. Gr. et Lat. Interpret. L. Rho- domano. Fol. Hanovize, 1604. DIOGENIS LAERTII de Vitis, Decretis, et Responsis, celebrium Philosophorum, Lib. X. 8vo. Stephanus. 1570. DIOMEDES SCHOLASTICUS. MS. in Royal Library. DIPHILUS apud Athen. L. ii. c. 46. Fragmenta Comicorum Grecorum, col. et dis. Meineke. 8vo. 4 vol. Berolini, MDCCCXXXIX. D'IsRAELI, Isaac. Curiosities of Literature. Seventh edition. ‘8vo. 6vols. London, 1824. Dixon, HEPWORTH. Works. in 27 vols. Besides those which he is daily Inventing. Thames, London, See Index Vitandorum. Don BELIANIS. El valeroso e invecible principe Don Belianis de Grecia, hijo del emperador. Folio. Burgos, 1587. Don QUIXOTE De La Mancha. Compuesto por Miguel de Cer vdntes. I2mo. 4 vol. Burdeos, M.DCCCIV. DoRsET, EARL of, Poems by. In Minor Poets. Two volumes Dublin, MDCCLI. DRYDEN, JOHN, The Poetical Works of, with Notes by Rev. Joseph Warton, Rev. John Warton, and others. 8vo. 4 vols London, 1811. LIST OF WORKS QUOTED. 13 Idem, The Prose Works of, with Notes, Illustrations, and Life. By Ed. Malone. 4 vols. 8vo. London, M.DCCC. DuBus. Réflexions Critiques sur La Poesie, et sur La Peinture. 1z2mo. 2vol. A Paris, M.DCCXXXIII. Dunciap, The. With Notes Variorum, and the Prolegomena of Scriblerus. The second edition, with some Additional Notes. I2mo. London, 1729. DUPLEIX SCIPION. L’Histoire de Henry le Grand. Fol. Paris, 1632. ENCYCLOPDIA BRITANNICA, with Supplement. Seventh edition. 21 vols. 4to. Edinburg, 1842. EPICURI FRAGMENT. lib. II. et XI., de Natura, in volum. papyrac. ex Herculano eruptis reperta. Orellius, 8vo. Lipsiz, 1818, ENNII FRAGMENTA, ex edit. Hieron. Column, accurante Fr. Hesselio. 4to. Amstel., 1757. ESPRIELLA, M. A. Letters from England. From the Spanish. 12mo. 3 vols. London, 1807. EuMENIS, Pergami Regis, Codicis Mss. chart. pergam. nuper defodit et emendavit Schliemann. Londini, 1877. EuRIPIDIS Opera Omnia. Lat. interpret. Scholiis Ant. et Eru- ditorum Observat. 8vo. gvol. Glasgue, 1821. EustaTui, Arch. Thes. Commentarii in Homeri Iliadem et Odysseam. Fol. 4 vol. Roma. 1542. Faust. GOETHE, I. W. von, Werke. 8vo. 60 vol. Stuttgart, u Tubingen, 1827. FIELDING, HENRY. History of the Adventures of Joseph An- drews. 12mo. 2 vols. London, 1742. FLECKNOE, RICHARD. Miscellania: or, Poems of all Sorts, with divers other Pieces. 8vo. London, 1653. FLETCHER, JOHN. The Captain, a Play. Dramatic Works of Beaumont and Fletcher. With Notes, by Colman. 3 vols. 8vo. London, 1811. FRANKLIN, THOMAS. The Tragedies of Sophocles, from the Greek. 2 vols. 4to. London, 1759. 14 LIST OF WORKS QUOTED. FRASER’S MAGAZINE. A Monthly. 8vo. London. GALATONUS, apud A‘lianum. Junii de Pictura Veterum lib. III Fol. Roterodami, 1694. GALLI CORNELII, seu potius MAXIMIANI ETrRUSCI, Elegie. Ex Recensione et cum Notis Wernsdorfii. 8vo. London, 1838. GaRTH, SIR SAMUEL, M.D. The Dispensary, a Poem, with a Play. Fifth edit. 8vo. London, 1703. Gay, JOHN. The Beggars’ Opera. 4to. London, 1728. GELLU AULI, Noctes Attice, cum Notis, et emendat. Grcnovii. 8vo. Lugd.-Bat., 1687. GesTa ROMANORUM. Ex gestis Romanorum Historie notabiles, de viciis virtutibusque tractantes. 4to. Lovanii, sine anno. GIBBON. History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire. 8vo. 6vols. Dublin, M.DCC.LXXXIX. GIFFORD, WILLIAM. The Baviad and Meviad. The sixth edi- tion. 12mo. London, 1800. GLADSTONE, The Right Honourable W. E. His Interview, at Tea, with Pio Nono, Brentano, New York, 1875. GOODNATURED MAN. A Play. By Oliver Goldsmith. 4to. London, 1768. Gray THOMAS, The Works of, with Memoirs. By Wm. Mason and T. J. Mathias. gto. 2vols. London, 1814. Idem, The Letters of, with Memoirs, by Wm. Mason. 12mo. 2 vols. London, 1807. GREENE, ROBERT, The Arcadia or Menaphon of. Camilla’s Alarum. Quarto. London, 1587. Guy, EARL OF WARWICK. Cy commence Guy de Waruich, Chevalier d’Angleterre. Folio. Paris, 1525. HALL, JOSEPH, Satires by. With Illustrations of Rev. Thomas Warton, and Notes of S. W. Singer. t2mo. Chiswick, MDCCCXXIV. Havwoop, Mrs. Etiza. The Secret History of the present In trigues of the Court of Caramania. 8vo. London, 1727. LIST OF WORKS QUOTED. 15 HeEtrR AT Law, by GEORGE COLMAN, the Younger. 8vo. Lon- don, 1808. HERODOTI libri novem, quibus Musarum indita sunt nomina. Ex Recens. Aldi Manutii. Fol. In domo Aldi, 1502. Ejusdem Homeri Narratio de vita, cum Valle interpret. Folio. Excud. H. Stephanus. Anno M.D.XCII. HESIODI Opera qua extant. Gr. et Lat. Not. Op. et Stud. Heinsii. qto. Ex offic. Plantinoraph., 1623. Heywoop, THo. The Hierarchie of the Blessed Angels. (A Poem in Nine Books.) Folio. London, 1635. HILL, FANNY. By John Cleland, Gent. With Pictures, taken from Nature. Pocket Edition. Wellington Street, Strand, London. HIPPocratis Opera, Latina Interpret. et Annot. Illustrata. Anu- tio Fesio. Fol. Francof., 1595. HOGARTH, WILLIAM, The genuine Works of. tI1y plates. Atlas folio. London, 1820. HoLmEs, Dr., On the Physiology of Versification. New York, 1875. Homeri Ilias. Ex Recensione et cum Notis, Samuelis Clarke. Nova Editio. 8vo. 2vol. London, 1832. Ejusdem Odyssea. Grace et Latine. Edid. Samuele Clarke. Editio secunda. 8vo. 2 vol. London, MDCCLVIII. HORATII Opera. Interpret. et Not. illustravit Desprez. In usum Delph. 8vo. Dublin, MDCCLXXIX. HUDIBRAS, by SAMUEL BUTLER, with Annotations by Grey. In two vols. 8vo. London, 1799. HUET, PIER.-DAN., Eveque d’Avranche. De Origine Fabularum. Paris. HumgE, Davip. History of England. With the Author’s last Cor- rections. In13 vols. 18mo. London, 1794. HUNTER, JOHN, F.R.S., The Life of. By Drewry Ottley. 8vo. London, 1835. 16 LIST OF WORKS QUOTED. JEFFREY OF MONMOUTH. Galfridi Monemutensis de Origine et Gestis Regum Britannorum. 4to. Paris, 1508. JENNER, ED.,M.D. An Inquiry into the Causes and Effects ot Variole Vaccine. 4to. London, 1798. JOHNSON, SAMUEL, the Works of, edited by A. Murphy, with Life. 8vo. 12 vols. London, 1792. JosEPH ANDREWS, History of the Adventures of, by Henry Field- ing. 12mo. 2vols. London, 1742. JULIEN STANISLAS. Exercises Pratiques d’Analyse, de Syntaxe et de Lexigraphie Chinoise. 8vo. Paris, 1842.. JUNIUS, the Letters of, including Letters under other Signatures. Edited by Woodfall. 8vo. 3 vols. London, 1812. JUVENALIS JUNII et AULI PERSII Satire, ex edit. Rupert. et Ke- nig. 8vo. Londini, 1830. Koran, The, or Alcoran, from the original Arabic ; with Notes. By G. Sale, Gent. 2 vols. 8vo. London, 1825. La BRUYERE. Les Caractéres. Ou, Les Mceurs de ce Siécle. Edition collationée sur celle de 1696, Paris, 1866. La FONTAINE, CEuvres Complettes, Précédées d’une Nouvelle Notice sur sa Vie. 8vo. 3 vol. A Paris, M.DCCC.XIV. LANCILOTTO DAL LaGoO, Lillustre e famosa Istoria di, e di Molti altri Cavalieri. 8vo. 3 vol. Venezia, 1557. LANGBAINE, GERARD. An Account of the English Dramatick Poets. 12mo. Oxford, An. Dom. 1681. LARDNER, DionysIus, D.C.L., The Electric Telegraph Popular- ised. 12mo. London, 1855. Las Cases. Mémorial de Sainte Héléne. 12mo. gvol. A Paris, 1840. LATHAM, ROBERT GORDON, M.D., F.R.S. A New Edition of Johnson’s Dictionary. London, 1870. LATIMER, HUGH, Bishop of Worcester. Works, edited by Rev. G. E. Corrie. 8vo. 4 vols. Camb., 1845. LIST OF WORKS QUOTED. 17 LAVATER, JOHN CASPER. Essays on Physiognomy, from the French. Engravings. By H. Hunter. 4to. 5 vols. London, 1789. Livit PaTIVINI Historiarum ab urbe condita Libri qui supersunt. 1zmo. 6 vol. Londini: ex Officina J. Tonson. MDCCXXII. LOCKE, JoHN. An Essay concerning the Human Understanding. 8vo. 2 vols. London, 1731. LONDON TIMES. Folio. Printing-house Square, Blackfriars, in the City of London. LONGINI de Sublimitate Commentarius. Nova Versione, Notis, et Fragmentis. Zacharias Pearce. 8vo. Londini, 1794. Lucan Pharsalia, cum Not. Hug. Grotii et Rich. Bentleii. 4to. Strawberry Hill, 1760. LUCIANI Opera. Gr. et Lat. Schol. ac Not. Varior. Cura Hem- sterhusii et Reitzii. 4to. Amstelod., 1743. LucreETI CaRI de Rerum Natura, Lib. vi., cum Animadvers, Ric. Bentleii. Wakefield. 4to. 3 vol. London, 1796. LULLI RAYMUNDI Opera Omnia, per Baccholium collecta, et edita per Yvonem. Salzingerum. Fol. 10 vol. Moguntie, 1722. Macautay, T. B. Critical and Historical Essays contributed to the Edin. Review. 16mo. 5 vols. Leipsig, 1850. MAGINN, WILLIAM, LL.D. Writer in Fraser’s Magazine. 8vo. London, August, 1836. MAILLARD, Cordelier. Sermon préché, et éoussé, le se dimanche de careme, en la ville de Bruges. 4to. 1500. MaLTHus, T. R. An Essay on the Principle of Population. 3 vols. 8vo. London, 1817. MANLEY, Mrs. DELA RIVIERE. Secret Memoirs and Manners of several Persons of Quality of both Sexes. 12mo. 4 vols. London, 1741. MAROLLES, MICHEL de. Mémoires. Fol. 2 vol. Paris, 1656. MARTIALIS Epigrammatum Libri XIV. Interpret. et Not. Illus. Vincent. Collesso. Londini, MDCCXX. 18 LIST OF WORKS QUOTED. MARVELL, ANDREW. Poetical, Controversial, and Political Works. By Ed. Thompson. 4to. 3 vols. London, 1776. MATHIAS. See Pursuits of Literature. MENAGIANA, Ou, Les Bons Mots de M. Ménage. Nouvelle Edi- tion. I2mo. 4vol. A Paris, M.DCCXXIX. MENANDRI et PHILEMONIS Reliquie. Gr. et Lat. cum Notis Hug. Grotii et J. Clerici. 8vo. Amstelod., 1709. MEN OF THE TIME, containing Biographical Notices of Characters, (Good and Bad), of both Sexes. Eighth edition. 8vo. Lon- don, 1872. MENZINI, BENEDETTO. Satire, con Annotazioni di Salvini, Biscio- ni, ed Altri. rzmo. Londra, 1820. MERLIN, I’Enchanteur, Le Roman de. Remis en bon frangais, par M.S. Boulard. 12mo. 3 vol. Paris, 1797. MILTON, JOHN, The Poetical Works of, with Notes of various Authors. By Thos. Newton, D.D. 8vo. 4 vols. Dublin, MDCCLI. MINos, Rex Crete et Quesitor Inferorum. MITFORD, MARY RUSSELL. Our Village; Sketches of Rural Character and Scenery. 8vo. 3 vols. London, 1835. MONBODDO, LorD. Ancient Metaphysics; or, the Science of Universals. 4to. 6 vols. Edin., 1779. Idem. Of the Origin and Progress of Language. 8vo. 6 vols. Edinburgh, 1773. MONTAGUE, LaDy Mary WorTLEy. Letters and Works. Edited by Lord Wharncliffe. 8vo. 3 vols. London, 1837. MONTAIGNE, Essais de, Avec Les Notes de M. Coste. Nouvelle Edition, 12mo. 1ovol. A Genéve, M.DCC.LXXX. MONTESQUIEU, MONSIEUR DE, Saying of, in Anecdotes of Books and Men, by Spence. 8vo. London, MDCCC.XX. Mor!, de optimo Reipublice statu, deque nova insula Utopia, libri II. 8vo. Glasgue, 1750. MoTTE, ANTOINE HoupaR de la. L’Hiade, Poéme, avec un Discours sur Homére. Paris, 1714. LIST OF WORKS QUOTED. 19 NasH, THOMAS, in Preface to Greene’s Arcadia. NENNI, ABB., Historia Britonum, apud Gale, Script. Quinde- cim. Fol. 2vol. Oxonie, M.DC.XCI. NICEPHORI CALLISTI Opera. Fol. 2 vol. Paris, 1630. OGILBY, JOHN, Homer his Iliads, translated, adorned with Sculp- ture, and with Annotations. Folio. London, .1660. OLDHAM, MR. JOHN, The Works of, with his Remains. 12mo. London, MDCLXXXVI. OmaAR, Second of. the Caliphs or Successors of Mahomet, Sur- named Al-Farouk, the Divider, from his skill in distinctions. OvipII Opera. Interpret. et Not. Dan. Crisp. Helvet. Ad usum Delphini. 4to. 4 vol. Lugduni, M.DC.LXXXIX. PALINGENII, MARCELLI, Zodiacus Vite, id est, de Hominis Vita. Lib. XII. Lugduni, 1608. PaLL MALL GAZETTE, a daily paper. Northumberland Street, Strand, London. PALMERIN D’ANGLETERRE, Fils du Roi, D. Edoard, Histoire de. Trad. du Castillan. 8vo. 2vol. Paris, 1574. PALMERIN L’OLIVE, L’Histoire de; traduit du Castillan, par Jean Mangin. Fol. Paris, 1546. PARACELSI BOMBAST ab Hohenheim Opera Medico-Chemico- Chirurgica. Fol. Vol. 2. Geneva, 1658. PARENT DU CHATELET. De la Prostitution dans la ville de Paris. 8vo. Troisiéme edition. Tom. II. A Paris, 1857. PAUSANI@ Gracia Descriptio. Edidit, Greca emendavit, &c., Carolus Godofredus Siebelis. 8vo. 5 vol. Lipsia, MDCCCXXVII. PERRAULT, CHARLES. (Euvres Choisies, avec les mémoires de Yauteur. Par M. Collin de Plancy. 8vo. Paris, 1826, PERSIL FLaccI AULI, Satirarum Liber. Ex Editione Casauboni. 4to. London, 1789. PETER PINDAR, Esqr., the Works of. By John Wolcott, M.D. 8vo. 5 vols. London, 1794. 20 LIST OF WORKS QUOTED. PETERS, SAMUEL A. A General History of Connecticut, from its first Settlement. 8vo. London, MDCCLXXXI. PETIT, Leges Attica. Gr. et Lat. cum observat. P. Wesselingil. Fol. Lugd.-Bat., 1742. PETRONII Satyricon. Cum omnibus Omnium Not. et Commen- tariis. Excud. Johannes Mercerius, M.DC.XXIX. PHILOBIBLION, The, A Bibliographical Journal. By G. P. Philes. 4to. New York, 1862-3. PINDARI qua extant Opera, Grece et Latine. 8vo. 2 vol. in ed. acad., Glasgue, 1779. Pio NoNo, his Holiness, Interview at Tea, with the Rt. Hon. W. E. Gladstone. Brentano, New York, 1875. PLATONIS Opera Omnia. Gr. et. Lat. Annot. Stephani. 11 vol. 8vo. Valpy, Londini, 1826. PLINnu Historia Mundi. Libri XXXVII. Cum Indice totius operis copiosissimo. Fol. Lugduni, M.D.LIII. PLUTARCHI Opera Omnia que extant. Gr. et. Lat. cum doct. vir. Not. Fol. 3 vol. Lutetie Par., M.DC.XXIV. Pore, ALEXANDER, the Works of, with Notes by Warburton, Warton, and others. 8vo. g vols. London, 1797. PORSONIANA, by Maltby. In Table Talk of Samuel Rogers. 8vo. London, 1856. PortT# BAPTIsT& Phytognomonica. Folio. Neapolis, 1583. PROPERTIL SEXTI AURELII, Carmina, emendavit et annotavit Carolus Lachmannus. 8vo. Lipsia, 1816. PuBLiIus SyRus. Phedri Fabule, et Publii Syri Sententiz. 24mo. Parisiis, 1729. PURSUITS of LITERATURE. A Satirical Poem, with Notes. Eighth edition, revised. 8vo. London, 1798. PUTEANI, EryctI, Pietatis Thaumata in Protheum Parthenicum, unius libri versum, et unius versus librum, stellarum numeris sive formis 1022, Variatum. 4to. Antuerpice, 1617. PUTTENHAM, GEORGE. @he Arte of English Poesic Con- triued into three Bookes. At London, 1589. LIST OF WORKS QUOTED. 21 QUINTILIANI de Institutione Oratoria lib. XII., cum Notis var. Burmann. 4to. 3 vol. Lugd.-Bat., 1720. RALEIGH, SIR WALTER, Works. Now first collected. Life by Oldys and Birch. 8vo. 8 vols. Ox., 1829. RAMAGE, CRAUFURD TAIT, LL.D. Beautiful thoughts from Greek Authors. 12mo. Liverpool, 1873. REHEARSAL, The, with Notes, and Critical view of the Authors exposed. By Villiers Duke of Buckingham. 12mo. Edin., M.D.CC.LIV. RICHARDSON, SAMUEL, The Complete Works of. By Rev. C. Mangin, M.A. 8vo. 19 vols. London, 1811. ROMANT DE LA Ross, commencé par Guill. de Lorris, et achevé par Jean de Meun. Folio. Paris. RuBETA, Vision of. By L. Osborne. 8vo. Boston, 1838. SABINI, JOSEPHI, que superstint omnia, Libri, Fasciculi, et Cato- logi. Vol. 365. Novi Eboraci, in vico Nassau, 1878. SaInTtT EVREMOND, CEuvres Meslées de. Seconde Edition, Re- veiie. 4to. 3 vol. Londres, Tonson, MDCCIX. SALLUSTII que extant, in usum Delphini, recensuit et Not. addi- dit D. Crispinus. 4to. Parisiis, 1674. SALVINI, ANTON. MARIA, Abate. Lettera Scritta d’Italia. 4to. Londra, MDCCXXI. SANADON. Horatius Q. Flac. Poésies, traduites en Frangois. 4to. 2vol. A Paris, 1728. SANAZZARI Opera omnia Latina scripta, nuper edita. 8vo. Vene- tiis, in edib. Aldi, 1535. SCARRON, PAUL, Anecdote of, in Curiosities of Literature. By I. D'Israeli. SCIENTIFIC REVIEW. London. SCOTT, SIR WALTER, The Works of. Novels, Tales, Romances, Poems, &c. 8vo. 17 vols. Abbotsford Edition. SENECE L. ANNI Opera omnia; ex ult. Lipsii et Gronovii emen- dat. 18mo. Vol. IV. Lugd. Bat. Alzev., 1649. 22 LIST OF WORKS QUOTED. SENEC. Trageed. cum Notis J. F. Gronovii. Recensuit I C. Schréderus. 4to. Delphis, MDCCXXVIII. SETTLE, ELKANAH, City Poet. The Triumphs of London, on va- rious occasions: and other Works. 4to. London, 1671-1718. Idem. Plays, being nine in number, Poems, &c. London. SHADWELL, THOMAS, Esquire. Poet Laureat. The Squire of Alsatia. 4to. London, 1688. SHAKESPEARE, The Plays of. By Johnson, Steevens, Reed, and Malone. The sixth edition. 8vo. 21 vols. London, 1813. SHERLEY, SIR ANTHONY, his Relation of his Travels into Persia. Penned by Sir A. Sherley. London, 1613. : SILII ITALICI Punicorum lib. XVII., cum Notis Variorum, curante Arn. Drakenborch. 4to. Traj. ad Rhenum, 1717. SISMONDI, J. C. L. de. De la Litterature du Midi de I’Europe. Troisiéme edition. 8vo. 4 vols. Paris, 1829. SLAUKENBERGII HAFEN. de Nasis Fabella. 8vo. Londini, 1780. SMITH, ADAM, LL.D. An Inquiry into the Nature and Causes of the Wealth of Nations. 8vo. 3 vols. London, MDCCLKXXXVI. SOPHOCLIS Tragediz Septem, ex edit. Brunck. Grece et Latine. 8vo. Vol. 3. 1786. SOUTHERNE,THOS., Works of. 2 vols. 12mo. London, MDCCXXI. SOUTHEY’s Common-Place Book. Edited by his Son-In-Law, John W. Warter, B.D. 4 vols. 8vo. London, 1849. SPECTATOR, The, In British Essayists. By Alexander Chalmers, F.S.A. 8vols. 1zmo. London, 1808. SPENCE, REV. JOSEPH. -Anecdotes of Books and Men. Published, with Notes, by S. W. Singer. 8vo. London, MDCCCXX. SQUYRE OF LOWE DEGRE. 4to. London. ‘‘ Strange and whim- sical, but genuine English performance.” Ritson. STANIHURST, RICHARD. The First Four Bookes of Virgil’s fEneis, Translated by, into English heroicall verse. 8vo. London, 1583. STOWE, MRs., Vindicated. With photographs, from Nature. Ed. 15. 8vo. 2vols. Boston, 1878. LIST OF WORKS QUOTED. 23 STOWE, HARRIET BEECHER. Lady Byron Vindicated: A His- tory of the Byron Controversy. 12mo. Boston, 1870. STRABONIS Rerum Geographicarum Libri XVII. Gr. et Lat. Cum Variorum Animadversionibus. 2 vol. Fol. Oxon., 1807. SWIFT, JONATHAN, the Works of, with Life and Notes, by Scott. 8vo. Ig vols. Edin., 1814. Tasso, TORQUATO, La Gerusalemme Liberata di, con le Anno- tazioni di Gentili e di Guastavini. Fol. Roma, MDCCLVII. THACKERAY FRAN. The History of Pendennis. 3 vols. 12n.0. Leipsig, 1849. THEOBALD, LEWIS. The Persian Princess; or, Royal Villain : aPlay. 1I2mo. 1715. TuHucypipis de Bello Peloponnesiaco Lib. oct. Gr. et Lat. Ex recens. Wassii et Dukeri. 8vo. 8vol. Glasguz, 1759. TIssoT, sur !Onanisme. 12mo. Lausanne, 1791. TRIBUNE, The. A Newspaper, published daily, Sunday excepted, in New York, U.S., N. A. TRISTAN, Histoire du Trés-vaillant, Noble, et excellent Cheva- lier. Rédigée par Luce, Chevalier. Fol. 2 vol. Rouen, Mil. CCCC.IMII.XX et 1X. TURPINI de Vita Caroli Magni et Rolandi Historia, emendata et illustrata a Sebast. Ciampi. 8vo. Florentia, 1822. Idem. Archevesque de Reims, La Chronique de, faisant mention de la conqueste de Trebizonde. 8vo. Lyon, 1583. ULPIANI DOMITII que vocant Fragmenta. Curavit Gustavus Hugo. 8vo. Berolini, 1834. VARRONIS, M. TERENTIIL. Opera que supersunt. Jos. Scalig. Excudebat H. Stephanus, in-8. Anno 1573. VID CREMONENSIS, de Arte Poetica, lib. II]. Po&mat. Didasc. emend. Olivet. 12mo. Vol. 3. Parisiis, 1812. VIGNEUL-MARVILLE. Mélanges d’Histoire et de Litterature. Nouvelle Edition. 12mo. 3 vols. Roiien, M.DCCI. 24 LIST OF WORKS QUOTED. VIRGILII MARONIS Opera. Interpret. et Not. Ruzus. Secunda editio. 4to. Amstelodami, M.DC.LXXXX. VITRUVII de Architectura libri X., cum Notis variorum. Joan. de Laet. Fol. Amstelod., 1649. VoPIscus, FLAVIUS, apud Hist. August Script. Sex. Isaacus Ca- saubonus ex vett. libris recensuit. 4to. -Parisiis, M-DCIII. WALPOLE, HORACE, Manuscript Note on Bayle. voc. Brachmans. PHILES, Philobiblion. New York, 1862. WaRTON, JOSEPH, D.D. Essay on the Genius and Writings of Alexander Pope. 8vo. 2vols. London, 1756. WINKELMANN. Histoire de Art chez les Anciens, trad. de l’alle- mand. 4to. 3 vols. Paris, 1802. Wormil Olai Danica Litteratura Antiquissima, cui accessit de prisca Danorum Poesi Dissertatio. Fol. Hafnia, 1650. Ejusdem. Hist. Animal. quod in Norvag. e Nub. decid. 12mo. Hafnie, 1653. YOuNG, Edward, The Poetical Works of. 12mo. 4 vols. Lon- don, 1774. ZOILI, Homeromastigis, Opera Omnia, in Oblivione recondita. Tamesis. Olymp., VC. CATALOGUS VITANDORUM. Dixon, W. Hepworth. Spiritual Wives. 2 vols. 8vo. London: 1868. DovE OF ST. MARK, in Songs of Italy: by Joaquin Miller. 18mo. Boston: 1878. FANNY HILL, or Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure. John Cle- land. 2 vols. 12mo, London: 1750. Har.ot, HIsToRY OF, with the Names of the principal Pimps and Puffers in her pay. 4to. Wellington Street, Strand, London: 1868. Laus VENERIS, and other Poems and Ballads. By Algernon Charles Swinburne. London: M DCCC LXVI. PETRONII Lusus Diversorum Poetarum in Priapum. Cum notis varior. 8vo. Leipsiz: 1781. 2 THE OBLIVIAD: A SATIRE. PREFACE OF THE AMERICAN EDITOR. HIS Satire was put to press a few years since in England, but, before publication, was suppressed, by influence of some of those therein ridiculed. The only copy saved, and this even in detached sheets and proofs, having come into the possession of an American gentle- man, himself an author, and who then had some business in London, he thinks the present a good opportunity, and desires now to offer it to the world, as a work it would willingly form a judgment of: from which, as well as from another recent instance, it would appear, that America, long the refuge of patriotism, is now also likely to become that of wit. Precisely in this way, as the Reader doubtless remem- bers, came out also the first edition of the Dunciad ; of which the editor writes, ‘‘ How I came possest of this Poem, is of no concern to the Reader; but it would have been a wrong to him, had I detained this publica- tion: since those ames which are its chief ornaments, die off daily so fast, as must render it.too soon unintel- 28 PREFACE OF THE AMERICAN EDITOR. ligible. If it provoke the Author to give us a more per- fect edition, I have my end. Who he is,” the editor concludes by saying, ‘‘I cannot tell, and (which is great pity), there is certainly nothing in his style and manner of writing which can distinguish or discover him.” But the curious part is, that both Dunciad and Obliviad, having been written in London, should have appeared, thus anonymously, in remote countries, the one in America, the other in Ireland; at that time, for every purpose, considering the operation of steam and electri- city, at as great a distance from England as America is now. Why the Author, whoever he may be, should thus have wished to keep his name concealed, it is not diffi- cult to conjecture; besides the Dunciad, many other satires have come out in this manner, among which I may mention Young’s, and the Pursuits of Literature,* with Rubeta, a Production of our own; an anonymous publication may be used to give an impulse to curiosity, but chiefly to screen the author, who may have ridiculed friends as well as enemies, and might not wish to double the number of the latter, by an offence given to both; which is often not the less felt though but a jest be in- tended ; for, /eviter volat, sed graviter vulnerat. Some eminent names have been mentioned ; but very much at a venture, since the Author has taken the most effectual way to conceal himself by writing in a style not at all of the present day, but rather in that of what is sometimes * Pursuits of Literature.| The author of which work writes thus of the author of the ‘‘ BAviaD,” an Imitation of the first Satire of PERsius: “He has divulged his name zmprudently, Such compositions require secrecy for their effect ; especially if they are published at an early period of life, and still more if the poet commences his career with satire.” THE Pursuirs oF LITERATURE, Am, Eb. PREFACE OF THE AMERICAN EDITOR. 29 spoken of as the classical period of our language: at least, so it appears to me. It is now more than half a century since any thing of this description, with some trivial exceptions, has been published; on which account, Literary Satire is little familiar to the present age, though very much needing it, by reason both of the immoral tendency of some writings, and the degeneracy of taste in all. As it was necessary to find a hero for the piece, which is formed upon a fable, that man especially was chosen who was most conspicuous as well in one of these respects as the other; one, let it be remembered, who has been outrageously disrespectful to ourselves, and whose only excuse for the indecent views of life he has drawn, is, that the Americans sat for the picture. He it was, as editor of the ‘‘ leading literary journal” in England, with the wealthy owners of it, who endeavoured to strangle this Publication in the cradle: he has been here recently, and given lectures; but his real business was to collect materials for new books and new insults. Against him the Author appears in a particular manner incensed; and, indeed, he is used very much as was the keeper by the elephant he had goaded, who trampled him under foot, and, as if for his sport, tossed again and again into the air. However, not this man only; Browning, Swinburne, Dickens, with a host of others, occupy the view; and, as in the Iliad, through whole books the principal character is withdrawn ; until, in the end, he receives the coup-de-grace, with the well-merited chastisement. In fact, as a general perversion of taste is assumed, so the Author attacks all modern writers almost indiscrimi- nately, American as well as British, male and female. He sees them all sinking into one common pool of Obli- 30 PREFACE OF THE AMERICAN EDITOR. vion, and drags them up, one after another, to examine and describe them. His opinions entirely coincide with my own, and, I am satisfied, with that of the large mass of the Public. Almost every thing published is a novel, or assumes the form of one; people are allured to read, and then speak of the ‘‘trash”’ which they have read. The times, therefore, are propitious for satire; since there wants but ridicule to give an edge to that censure already present in the minds of all of us. Ridicule, as elsewhere styled by the Author, that last resource when argument and reproof have failed, is in the very essence of satire; this tends to exaggeration, as we view grubs in a microscope; plainness of lan- guage adds to the effect, and images apparently coarse are sometimes found necessary to complete it. This is said lest the Author should be exposed to an undeserved reproach ; from which, further, he is amply defended by the example of Dryden, Pope, and Swift: authors with whom in this, as well as in other respects, we must com- pare him (though it be but zmpar congressus,) if we would know what he is, or assign him a place in the ranks of the Invective. The numerous Notes attached contribute to vary the Reader’s entertainment, a sort of side dishes, or hors @ euvres, shall I call them; to which -Notes the Editor has added a few, subscribed Am. ED., with the design of explaining London localities, and of illustrating some passages. Side by side with these, the Commentaries of the Athenzum will also be found, zz /oc., with Ep. ATH. below. A few interpolated passages, when not marked by inverted commas, the anachronism will readily distin- guish. PREFACE THE FIRST; OR, SERIOUS. T no period, I believe, in the history of our Litera- ture has it been at once so popular and so wotthless as at present. Such, in fact, is the infatuation of both writer and reader, that Reason addresses them in vain, and there is left us but the last resort in Ridicule. This once felt, the way is open for proof; and it is then, with united forces, both of our light and heavy, that we carry the point. Ina word, Satire takes the field, modo tristi, sepe jocoso ; but if she too fail, and that national taste, like national spirit, once debased, can never after- wards be restored, there is no help for it, but admit the Vandals. Prepare, therefore, to see our monuments overthrown, our Universities shut up, Pope and Addison neglected, and, since things are coming to the worst, Browning and Bulwer read. ‘¢ Literature,”’ said Napoleon, ‘‘ has become the food of the Vulgar, while it ought to have been reserved ex- clusively for people of taste.” That which once, indeed, while it entertained the scholar, disdained not to teach others, now addresses itself entirely to the crowd, and falls to the level of their deficiencies; for such have at length become by far the largest body of readers. The result is that every thing is careless and incorrect ; hastily 32 PREFACE THE FIRST; OR, SERIOUS. compiled ; and with an eye more to the quantity than the delicacy of the feast. A three volume novel of the most inartificial construction, false to nature, or follow- ing her with a mechanical servility; a book of travels, written in a few weeks, and made up of the most trivial particulars; a poem which is but a romance in verse, with enough perhaps of the uncommon and fantastic to make a mode: these are the belles-lettres ‘‘ of the peri- od;” and the once famous union of elegance with know- ledge and instruction can no longer be endured. The pride of our literature is, in fact, sneered at by those of the new school; which if any one doubt, Jet him ask Mr. Anthony Trollope, or hear him speak at those public dinners of which he appears to be so fond. The Chinese, as we know, have two species of religion ; one, a grosser superstition, with many idols, for the multitude ; another, formed on the precepts of Confu- cius, for the few. Such is the utmost Lcan hope for the condition of the nation at present; that we have yet a re- spectable body amongst us who revere the great doc- tors of our learning, religiously peruse their books, and view with a mixture of disdain and pity the abject fol- lowers of Dixon, Dickens, Morris, and the rest. But if there is a decay of Taste, have we not the ad- vantage, you say, on the side of Morals? Youth is now early introduced to vice, and made to know the world. So that when he enters upon life, the betting-room and the brothel, among other things, are familiar by antici- pation, and he knows already to distinguish a jade in the one place as the other. Elopement, bigamy, incest, intrigue, adultery, poison, manslaughter, murder, de- bauchery, theft, forgery, with all such, are made easy in the novel, as Miss Braddon, for example, has written it, and the mind receives no distaste for study. Or if, hav- PREFACE THE FIRST; OR, SERIOUS. 33 ing passed youth without this advantage, one desires simply to lead a virtuous life, has he not a couple of volumes which shew, among other things, that to debauch his neighbour’s wife, is, by ‘‘ higher law,” no breach of the commandment? so easy is it, by the new way, to be good. The objection is ingenious; but before proceeding to reply, perhaps I had better await a new book ona “‘ high- er law” for taste also, by the Author of the two just mentioned volumes, of which he weekly gives us some specimens, and examine both together, as well to obtain ‘time to arrange my remarks, as for the sake of brevity, of which I am willing to shew a very necessary example. 2* PREFACE THE SECOND; OR, IRONICAL. INCE acknowledged universally that ‘‘ this nineteenth century’ has surpassed all others, and left them be- hind, as it were, in the race of merit, as of time, the only desire is that an ample memorial be kept of it, and a com- plete record compiled, before too late, of the illustrious, but chiefly of our * authors, whose numbers so increase that few or none can recall their names, to say nothing of their works. I confess that, so far as I am concerned, having naturally a bad+ memory, though without the excuse of being a wit, I find myself bewildered in the throng of excellence, and have written out, in alphabeti- cal order, a list of authors, until commencing with Ains- worth, I can already repeat as far as Browning. In ad- dition to which, since the Cretans{ put their laws into * But chiefly of our Authors.| Of whom, the Author might have added, to justify his undertaking, Dr. Johnson declared, that the renown of every nation rested chiefly upon them, Am, Ep, + A bad memory.| ‘* Wits have short Memories and Dunces none.” DuncziaD, B. iv. v. 620. Am, Ep. $ The Cretans] An instance judiciously selected, as the Cretans were famous for legislation, especially under Minos, who afterwards was elected Judge of the Supreme Court in the Zower Regions, Am, Ep, 36 PREFACE THE SECOND; OR, IRONICAL. verse, and that the Germans * set the alphabet to music, I have sought some method of this sort, that the ear might assist the understanding, and have with that aim expressly composed the following poem, into which I have inserted as many of the freshest and most modern names as it could possibly hold.| Which poem repeat- ing often, sometimes as I lie wakeful at night, I can now sing off some six thousand names, over and above those which, with aid of my catalogue, I had before attained to. What, therefore, I propose is, that, with assistance from Government, or, that failing, with patronage of some wealthy Publisher, having completed my alpha- betical list, (a thing of years), it shall be made the main end of education, in primary schools, upper schools, and Universities, to con it over, to the neglect of all other parts of study; that scholar being esteemed most learned who can call most names, as he is in China { who can repeat the greatest number of letters: and that, mean- while, and subsequently also, the verses which I have * The Germans.| Another instance ‘of judgment, as the Germans are renowned for Music; whence it used to be said, that the nations ruled with a divided empire, France the land, England the sea, and Germany the air. Am, Eb, + Possibly hold.) 1 have already quoted from Dr, Johnson, the great Minos of criticism ; let me quote him again, where he says, that the chief merit of a Compiler is to put into his book all it can hold. Am, Ep. t As heis in China, &¢.] Theexact number of characters, or letters, in the Chinese Dictionary, or alphabet, is 42,718, of which it is deemed suf- ficient to know 9,000, to fill the place of Imperial Historian; as we learn from M, Stanislas Julien, Hxercices Pratiques de Lexigraphie Chinoise. Avant-propos, Whence our Author might have taken a hint, and instead of requiring the student, however industrious, to commit to memory the entire list, should have deemed the one-fifth, or a selection from the choicest names, sufficient, as is the usage among the Chinese. Am. Ep, PREFACE THE SECOND; OR, IRONICAL. 37 arranged to the same end, that is to say, the following Poem, be universally studied, and stowed away in the cranium of each, to the extent of his capacity. “‘ Nocturna versate manu, versate diurna.”’ The toil of which if great, let us weigh the advantages. First, this question of education * is finally settled. Se- cond, that other dispute of the Classics + is put to rest also; for setting aside that we surpass our predecessors, Ancient’ as well as Modern, and therefore have no use of them, our time is little enough for ourselves. Third, since merit, like water, can not mount above its level, and that we have already reached the highest, there is no need for new Authors, who, in vain attempts to as- cend, must only knock their heads against the impossible. Nor need, (I may add, as a corollary to the foregoing,) of other books than the list above described, and the Poem, which, like the Koran,{ as they contain all that is essential, the remainder are superfluous, and may be destroyed. I expect objections to my proposal. Some, in the pride of popularity, may imagine that it requires noth- ing adventitious to keep them in recollection ; as if there were no limits to the human mind, and that every man * Question of education, &c.| Namely, whether education should be extended among the Public, and what it should consist of: questions in English politicks. Am, Ep. + Dispute of the classics.| Whether they should not be dispensed with altogether ; a heresy first moved in Scotland, and lately in England. Am. Ep. + Like the Koran, &c.] We learn, on the authority of Abulpharagius, that the Caliph Omar consigned the famous Alexandrian Library to the flames: for, said he, if the books agree with the book of God, they are superfluous; if they disagree, they are pernicious, and ought to be de- stroyed. Am. Ep, 38 PREFACE THE SECOND; OR, IRONICAL. was a Syrus, who could call the roll of his soldiers, or a. . Scipio, who could salute by name all the citizens. Others, out of a suspicion natural to such, may fancy that I design but a sort of satire upon them; when, in reality, I write but as the politic French understand raillery, a seeming censure, but real compliment ; in-so- much that the following, especially, had better be styled a Complimentary Poem, into which are hoisted only the most deserving names, and the prime favourites of the Public. Of whom the more discerning must soon be conscious how much they are indebted to me; who otherwise had sunk into a long night, where the God- desses of Oblivion were certain to seize them: “ carpere lividas OBLIVIONES.”’ With more reason dol fear the reproaches of each who, with equal claims, finds no remembrance; and who having written himself dow,* a thing it has been said which none but the author can do for himself, discovers that I have made no effort to write him up, an art quite in the power of another, as the reviewers and puffers of the day can all testify. To lessen whose chagrin, let me inform such, and all those who on looking at the Index, miss their names from it, that it is my design to add a fifth book to the Obliviad, as a fourth + was added to the * Written himself down, &¢,.] When, in the famous controversy be- tween Bentley and Boyle, on the Epistles of Phalaris, the opponents of Bentley threatened to write 42m down, he replied that to write an author down none could do but the author himself. Am, Ep. + As a fourth was addet to the Dunciad\ At the suggestion of War- burton; whereby the unity and coherence of this famous Satire, through introduction of foreign 'topics, were much injured: a warning to our Au- thor, Am. Ep, + PREFACE THE SECOND; OR, IRONICAL. 39 Dunciad, that all may be treated alike, and that it shall be in the power of no man to accuse me of partiality. For in this matter, I repeat, I am entirely disinterested, having neither friendship nor enmity to gratify, and aim- ing only at general* approbation. * Aiming only at general approbation.] Modest enough, it must be allowed, Am. Eb, ADVERTISEMENT. REWARD. If any Person be possessed of a more perfect copy of this Work, or of any Fragments of it, and will communicate them to the Publisher, we shall make the next Edition more complete; and, moreover, a Rewarp is hereby offered, for every recovered verse, £5. 0. 0.; for every hemtstich, £1. 0: 0.; and for every separate word, 1'/; payable by us on delivery, and no questions asked. THE OBLIVIAD. ‘Book THE First. THE OBLIVIAD. BOOK THE FIRST. ARGUMENT. 7 Muse having been invoked, and the purpose of the Poem signified, the brood of Scribblers is at once introduced, their numbers stated, and kinds described. Alarm is then expressed lest the whole land be overrun with them, as with rats or other vermin, and even the po- tency of Satire is doubted. But here the Poet vindicates Providence, and explains her plan: Deep in the centre of the Earth, beneath the bed of Thames, are vast vaults, called of Oblivion, into which all the crew of Authors, with their works, sink, as they appear, and are got rid of. Of these a flood, as for awhile it choked the cloaca maxima, is described, and the names given of some of the minor sinks. By so wondrous a contrivance only as this of Oblivion, with its tributaries, could the refuse of mind be got rid of, with the prodigious accumulations of paper. All have turned authors, taught and untaught, to the ruin of our prosperity. But here again is Providence defended: For if Writing, as the Poet imagines, be a Pestilence, it drives out a worse, defecates the Brain, and gives vent to Taciturnity. The various epidemics 44 ARGUMENT. which have ravaged the Earth recounted ; all which have successively disappeared, except the Influenza, and this of Writing, complaints having a close analogy. Further, all are shown to have come from the East, including Romance, whose person is described, the allurements she makes use of, the prodigies which foretold her coming, and the.darkness which accompanied it. Nourished, like a weed, in barren places, she is herself poisonous, and, which ends the Book, the Poet cautions us against her. THE OBLIVIAD. Boox THE First. F Man’s chief folly, thence the fruits which spring ; What want, what vanity, and lucre bring ; What Authors rise to earth, how next they fall, Those authors’ names, and what the end of all; NOTES. THE OBLIVIAD.] There might have been a time for Satire; but that time is passed ; and, in the present advanced age, it is, simply, out of date; a practicable anachronism, if we may coin an expression. Pope wrote in his day; but we question if the best that Pope penned, 72fadib/e as he was then thought, would pass muster, before a critical Martinet, with us. For, in the first place, for wit, essential to this species of composition, there is a vulgarity about it, that we leave to our cab-men; and as for vigour, we leave that, with their daily slang, to our porters: modern delicacy will not endure it. And, besides, there is a refinement, a softness, a simplicity, in- fantile sometimes though it be, an ethereal elevation, and absence of all gross matter, which places our writers beyond the shaft of the Satirist, who has then nothing to aim at; for, as Smart said, in his Horace, the censurer strikes against the solid, so we say, he’ grasps at the impalpable. We have been at the pains to go over these four Books, as Satire is so much a novelty, a sort of vara avis, these many years past, and find in it no evidence whatever of genius, unless we so call a continued irony, and bur- lesque, on our best authors, Some exceptional passages, it is true, rises 46 THE OBLIVIAD. Book I. Sing, Muse, that dost in Grub street sinks delight, 5 The tuneful staircase, and the breezy height ; NOTES. above the rest ; after which, he sinks again, into his own Oblivion. What he evidently aims at is, to bring us back to a pedantic and obsolete period, when Boileau and Dryden, with the writers of Anne, studious of the dz- zigue, thought it excessively clever to fleer at and contemn writers with more nature than themselves; as, for instance, De Foe;—to an age, when the Wits and Scholars had it all their own way, and Reviewers were unknown, at least in the modern sense. We can tell him that although he had the ability to reproduce the Dunciad itself, it would not avail him, or make us overlook the ¢amezess of Tennysonian verse, the zazve of Browning, or the xature of Swinburne. It is easy to raise a laugh, and nothing is out of the reach of ridicule, but ezvy will appear at the bottom, and despair, by dint of sense, of equaling that inaffable fineness, and, what shall we call it, indefiniteness, of the New-School; wherein every latitude is given to fancy, every license to thought, and no censure to the absence of it, pro- vided the language be fine. What we now want is colour, contrast, free- dom of pencil, and breadth of canvass, with originality of drawing; possess- ing which, all that used to be called correctness, grace, manners, and moral, are things ‘‘ stale and unprofitable,” as Shakespeare expresses it. As might be expected, in a writer that aims at the classical, we find an abundance of allusions to both Ancients and Moderns, and of scraps from their writings; but, we are confident, that all of them are at second hand, and are determined to make inquiry, and send a “iterary detective, to fish out the thefts: a task reserved for our Second Notice, in a future xo, And this, although he has, in an zxderhand manner, in a letter, covering an en- closure, with a design to corrupt us; (now waiting to be called for, at our desk, as we never return communications ;)—and, notwithstanding those many complimentary remarks interspersed throughout his pages: in number three hundred; a voluminous writer, forsooth ! Epitor oF ATHENZUM. Ver. 1. Of Man's chief folly, &c.] This parody on the noble intro- duction of Milton, if it serve no other purpose, will at all events, serve to show, how a great poet can be degraded by a smad/ one, Ep. ATH. Ibid. chief folly,| Namely, writing, which every one thinks himself capable of, whereas it is certain, that not above one or two in an age are blessed with ability for this purpose; as demonstrated, and explained in full, in Book II. of this Work, which see. Book I. THE OBLIVIAD. 47 Or if those liv’ried haunts more please thy view Where scrawls my Lord, and scrawls my Lady too ; NOTES. Ver. 2, What want, what vanity, and lucre bring ;] That is to say, if I rightly understand the Author, what books are written to relieve the writers thereof from want, what out of vanity, and what to make money by. AMERICAN EDITOR, VER. 4. Those authors’ names,] ‘‘ Again,” said Swift, in a letter to Pope, ‘‘I insist, you must have your Asterisks filled up with some real names of real Dunces.” In the first, or Dublin edition, asterisks only were used, ; Swift’s recommendation is in accordance with the primitive license at Athens, until the law M} évoparl Aéyew was put in force, and Menander reformed the stage. Am. Ep, IMITATIONS. VER. 1. Of Man's chief folly, &¢.] ** Of Man’s first disobedience, and the fruit Of that forbidden tree, whose mortal taste Brought death into the world, and all our woe.” PARADISE Lost, B.I. v. 1. VER. 5. Sing, Muse, that dost in Grub street sinks delight, The tuneful staircase, and the breezy height ; Or if those liv’ried haunts more please thy view Where scrawls my Lord, and scrawls my Lady too ; Dhence thee I call, and by Oblivion’s brink, Leach me, O teach, with Tennyson, to sink ;] ** Sing, heavenly Muse, that on the secret top Of Oreb, or of Sinai, didst inspire That shepherd, who first taught the chosen seed, In the beginning how the Heav’ns and Earth Rose out of Chaos: Or if Sion hill — Delight thee more, and Siloa’s brook that flow’d Fast by the oracle of God ; I thence Invoke thy aid to my advent’rous song, That with no middle flight intends to soar.” PARADISE Lost, B. I, v. 6. 48 THE OBLIVIAD. Book I. Thence thee I call, and by Oblivion’s brink, Teach me, O teach, with Tennyson, to sink ; 10 NOTES. Ver. 5. Sing, Muse,| In this exordium are given the various topics, and purpose, of the Work, with the invocation, agreeable to the practice of the great poets, and to the precept of VDA, in particular. *¢ Vestibulum ante ipsum, primoque in limine, semper Prudentes leviter rerum fastigia summa Libant, et parcis attingunt omnia dictis, Que canere statuére; simul ccelestia Divim Auxilia implorant, propriis nil viribus ausi.” Poéticorum L. ii. v. 17. Am. Eb. VER. 6. The tuneful staircase, &c.] Images sufficiently familiar to those who mount the shady steps, and inhabit the unceiled garrets, of Grub street, that famous abode of authors; where an unfortunate sous-a-liner must have sojourned, who, not long since, writing to Paris, described thus the whole London metropolis, and honestly told but what he saw, or, what he Heard, if the Athenzeum will so have it. Am. Ep. Ibid. the breezy height,| Where the Zephyrs are felt, as in the Poet: ‘‘high in Drury-Lane Lull’d by soft Zephyrs through the’ broken pane.” VER. Io. teach, with Tennyson, to sink ;] Not with the design of sojourning there, but of searching for those therein lost, as expressed in the next couplet. Ibid. with Tennyson, to sink ;| Had he said, with Tennyson to soar, it had been more to the purpose; but, unfortunately, the word sizk was enforced by the zecessity of the rhyme, in this rkymer, to give him his true name, And, now that we are in the humour of criticism, and are not dazzled by great names, Milton himself, in the passage above quoted, might have writ- ten sacred instead of secret ; sacred top, Again: ‘* frst taught the chosen seed In the beginning,” is mere tautology, And, ‘¢ how the Heav’ns and Earth Rose out of Chaos,’’ Book I. THE OBLIVIAD. 49 There through thick night to grope my doubtful way, And thrust up each vile scribbler into day. NOTES. is flatly opposed to fact; as the Scriptures informs us, that ‘*God created the heaven and the earth,” which, therefore, did not vise out of Chaos, or any thing else. ; *¢ Siloa’s brook that flow’d Fast.” ‘When, for the second time, the BiBLE contradicts him: ‘ The waters of Siloa’s brook that go softly,” or slowly, Might it not have been said to this «prince of poets,’? as mothers do to their children, ‘*Go, and read your Bible, sir.” Ep, ATH. Ibid, to sink ;] It is not at all unlikely that the hasty Critick, such “as he especially of the Athenzeum, who had so often decided on the merits of Works of which he had read but a few words at the beginning, or pos- sibly had read none at all, may boast of his justice in not condemning this one until he had toiled as far as the end of the tenth line, where the Author asks the Grub-street Muse, to teach him to ‘‘ sink.” ’Tis all from Horace, said the critick in Pope’s day; ‘tis all from Pope, says he of the present. ‘The art of Sinking in poetry, is that of the false sublime, when the author descends to as great a distance as others ever rose, before inverted rules were invented: the primitive hint of which is in Falstaff, witty himself, and the cause of that wit in other men. ‘I have a kind of alacrity of sink- ing,” said he ; ‘‘if the bottom were as deep ashell, I should down.” (MER- RY WIVES, Act. 3, Sc.v.) From Falstaff it passed to the EARL OF DorsET, in his verses to Howard : *¢ So, in this way of Writing without thinking, Thou hast a strange Alacrity in sinking.” From Dorset, Swift and Pope next took it; since whose time it has be- come so trite that the Author of the present original performance is parti- cularly desirous of contradicting any possible report that he has taken it up; full evidence of which can not be wanting to any Student who reads in this book a few pages further. After all, perhaps this ‘‘alacrity of sinking” is in Homer, that Common upon which all authors, by immemorial usage, have the right to pasture; so that no one takes any thing from any one else, but from Homer, which is as if he took it from Nature. 70 mémo1, } wan eAadpds avhp, as peta nvBiorg- Ei 84 wou nal mivrg év ixOvdevti yévoito, 3 50 THE OBLIVIAD. Book J. But chiefly thou, maternal Dulness, show Whence all the scribbling crew, and where they go ; NOTES. TloAAobs by ropéweey dvhp 58e, rhbea dipav. Nyds dmodpdonov, ci nal Svomeupedos efn* “Os viv & wedly é& trmwy pela xuBiord. Intap. Lib. XVI. v. 745. When a man, being hurled headlong from his chariot, An :ctive person, truly, said the other ; how nimbly he dives ! That fellow, I «arrant, had he been at sea, would have brought us up an abundance of oysters; with so much skill does he sink; és peta xvfiorg: how nimbly he dives! It has more point in Homer than in any of the rest. To show how much the poets were indebted to Homer, the painter Gala- ton represented him in the act of vomiting, while all the rest were busy col- lecting what he had thrown up: an image better left hid in the Greek. “Tardrov 38 5 Ewypdpos eypape roy wey “Ounpoy aitdy euobyra, Tovs BE BAdous woinras Te éunuecuéva apvoperous,” ELIANI Var-Hist. Lib, xiii. cap. 21. Ibid. Tennyson] As it is the main design of this Work to call to memory the names of certain authors, already sunk, or rapidly sinking, into Oblivion, I intend to give a short sketch of the chief of them, among the Notes, in addition to what is said in the Text, that the Reader may not be at a loss; and, commencing with the Laureate, here make known that he wrote, was applauded, and is forgotten, These ‘‘ Biographical Notices,” however, as they are generally overcharged and ilattering, the Reader very likely conjectures, what is the truth, that they were written by the authors themselves, There is an annual Publica- tion called ‘* Men of the Time,” from which is sent to the various Writers, and other distinguished persons, throughout Christendom, and beyond, a Circular, with blank spaces, to be filled; as here follows: BLANK CIRCULAR. Mr. Mrs, or Miss, (as may be,) please fill up the enclosed, and return it to us, for Publication, Name; or, if you have reason to hide it, your assumed name, and aliases Date and place of bixth; garret or cellar ” Head or breech presentation If born with a caul Book I. THE OBLIVIAD. 5I Thou, from the first, wide o’er the lumpish earth 15 Sat’st brooding, goose-like, and gave each to birth: NOTES. Father (if known) Mother (if known) Sucked, or bottle-fed If ever sent to school Whether taught to read and write What College it was designed to send you to To what trade you were put At what date you ran away If charged with theft or other offence When and where you fell into the company of Writers for the Press How you were first taught to pick up scandal First book that you wrote How damned When put into jail for debt, or other cause How often you visited at the Work House, as near as you can remember The garrets you were successively driven out of State, particularly, when you commenced to tipple The Gin shops you frequent, and have frequented What induced you to turn Reviewer The nature of your connexion with the Atheneum, or other sheet of the sort If publickly horse- whipped Successive dates (week and month) of your later Publications Titles thereof, briefly ; as, the ‘* Pocket-Picker ;” ‘* Prostitution Unveiled,” &c. How often you were given a dinner How often you went without one Date of Pension, with amount VER. 13. maternal Dulness,) As it has been said of the gods of Homer, that they have ever since been the gods of poetry, so has the Dul- ness of Pope been to the Satirist ; but as Homer did not create his deities, so neither did Pope, for we find Addison, many years before, speaking of the god of Dulness, in his papers on Wit. Am. Eb. VER. 15. Thou, from the first, &c.] In this passage I have followed Milton, who followed Moses, Gen. Cap. i. v. 2; yet have I kept closer to Hesiod, a Zrafane author, as was proper, considering the subject I am 52 THE OBLIVIAD. Book I. An evanescent as a worthless breed, Brought immature, and to the ditch decreed ; NOTES. writing on, And now here, I wish to call to mind what was once said of a book, that it had not learning enough to. keep it from putrefaction; a fate which, in my own case, I shall take care to prevent with as much Attic salt as I can possibly strew over my pages, and here by a bucket of the rock-salt of learning itself, which I have found ready quarried in Rawleigh’s History of the World; but which salt, it is certain, he never put a pickaxe to, but got a certain Dr. Robert Burrel, Rector of Northwall, to do it for him. , *¢ After the creation of heaven and earth, then void and without form, the spirit of God moved upon the waters. The Seventy Interpreters use the word superferebatur, moved upon or over: ixcubabat or fovebat, saith Hierome, out of Basil; and Basil out of a Syrian doctor; ‘ Equidem non meam tibi, sed viri cujusdam Syri sententiam recensebo,’ (saith Basil): which words, izcubare or fovere, importing warmth, hatching, or quickening, have a special likeness, ‘ Verbum translatum est ab avibus pullitiei suze in- cubantibus, quamvis spirituali, et plane inenarrabili, non autem corporali modo:’ The word is taken of birds hatching their young, not corporally, but in a spiritual and inexpressible manner.’’—Rawleigh, Hist. B. i. c. i. s. vi. . i This passage, most likely, Milton had read, and took from it his image of érvoding on the abyss, which is a mighty sublime one, and very proper for me to imitate, with that a/teration which the zature of the drood made necessary. IMITATIONS. VER. 15. Thou, from the first, wide o’er the lumpish earth Satst brooding, goose-like, and gave each to birth.] ** Thou from the first Wast present, and with mighty wings outspread Dove-like satst brooding on the vast abyss And mad’st it pregnant.” PARADISE Lost, Book i. v. 19. Guz) St Taly ‘Iuelpov giddryros éxéaxero, Kal f° eravicbn Mdyrn. HEsiop, THEOG., v. 176. Book I. THE OBLIVIAD. 53 Misshapen things which from the parent fall, Or live just long enough to give a squall ; 20 Sink from a blow, or when much clamour made, While some, like sickly plants, but bloom to fade. Yet, numbers perishing, a crowd you meet, And still the brainless claim their own the street : For Dulness, teeming in her monstrous womb, 25 Gives birth to more and still for more has room ; To each.in turn her vile embraces lent, At once conceiving and parturient ; Of favour’d prostitutes in this the first, And in an idiot offspring only curst. 30 NOTES. VER. 23. numbers perishing,| The mutability of Authors is obviously a necessity in the plan of nature. If creatures were never to die, the world would soon be overstocked ; and if all writers were to live, where could we find museums, book-stalls, back-rooms, and bedlams to contain them? Thus it is that they pass away successively, and that new ‘successions of Dixons and dunces crowd upon the earth, VER: 24. the brainless] Lest it should discredit the writer, let it be known that human creatures have not only lived without brains, but been born without them, sucked, cried, and performed various other functions ; and, also, that among other races of animals, whole families are acephalous, and consequently as devoid of brains as the vermin in the text. VER, 28. At once conceiving and parturient ;| The wonder of this is lessened, if we credit the statement in Pliny, that mice, which surpass all creatures in fecundity, have been found pregnant while yet in the womb: ‘¢ Apud Persas vero preegnantes et in utero parentis repertas.” Pin. Hist. Lib. x., cap. 65. VER. 29. Of favour'd prostitutes in this the first,] Notwithstanding a few examples to the contrary, of which Buffon furnishes one, physiologist§ are of the opinion that superfcetation is shut out by the laws of nature, Ibid. favour'd prostitutes] Although, as a rule, it is true that ‘* prostitutes’? do not conceive, yet, of our own knowledge, could we shew a case ‘*¢o thecontrary,” of a favoured prost.tute, Ep, ATH, 54 THE OBLIVIAD: Book I. Nor less had nature from the first design’d, Who saves her sons e’en in the meanest kind, That the dread void might find a fresh supply, Replenish’d from this vast fecundity. Earth to her inmost depths in all parts full, 35 Or vacant only in the critick’s skull ; Where thought nor learning in the dark recess, But noise alone, which speaks its emptiness ; NOTES. Ver. 33. the dread void, &c.] On this principle, for instance, the great natural theologian Pailey accounted for the vast hordes of mice in the waste of Tartary, that every part might be full, Am. ED. VER. 36. Or vacant only, &c.] Exceptio probat regulam. Ibid. vacant only in the critick's skull ;| According to the Peripate- ticks, nature has implanted in all bodies, over-and-above their other attri- butes, an especial Zorror of the void, as of annihilation itself; for if this vacuum should spread, and interpose between us and the influence of the stars, nothing less than the entire destruction of this fair creation must fol- low. The vacuum in the critick’s skull, therefore, being nothing less than an impassable space, the zzane profundum of Lucretius, set between us and the heavenly influence of the productions of genius, there is a universal hor- ror and dislike of such, as tending to plunge us into total apathy and dis- taste, Why men take, naturally, such a pleasure in knowledge, and aim so incessantly to attain it, is, on the principle thus explained, made manifest enough ; since knowledge is nothing else than the A/exum, or the apposite to the vacuum, flying from which, we’are thence hurried into the other extreme, But, since nature makes nothing in vain, and that vacuity itself is a part of her plan, perhaps we must look upon the critick in the same light as we regard the Evil Spirit, or, that through hate of which, and avoid- ing it, we are made to hasten towards and admire all that is good. And, in point of fact, what is an arch Critick but an arch Demon, that would enter Paradise, and deprive us of all that is pleasant and beautiful? ‘* We have now,” said JOHNSTON, ‘‘ amongst other disturbers of human quiet, a numerous body of Reviewers,” Preliminary Discourse to the London Chronicle, VER. 38. —_#0ise alone] Whence it would appear that the critick’s skull Book I. THE OBLIVIAD. 55 Mere idle voices made all sense to mar, That puzzling sounds may seem oracular. 40 But not all times have sent an equal brood, Or countries claim’d the loathsome multitude. In ancient Greece scarce seen the spawn to spread, Save when some Zoilus had shown the head. Not so in Rome; increased the blund’ring throng, 45 And Bavius blind brought all the blind along. In Louis days again they burst to birth, Till Boileau rose, and swept the slime from earth. Then Pope appear’d, and braved the grov’ling band, Nor left, unlash’d, one dunce in all the land; 50 The Dixons of those days saw sneak to view, And to their native kennels kick’d the crew. NOTES. is not a vacuum coacervatum, or utter vacuum, as noise had a place in it, but disseminatum ; for of these there are two kinds. VER. 40. That puzzling sounds may seem oracular.| Alluding to the oracles at Delphos, which were written with studied ambiguity, that the prediction might still quadrate with the event. Am. Ep. VER. 43. l1 Ancient Greece scarce seen the spawn to spread, Save when some Zoilus had shown the head.) Greece was the only country in which Literature flourished for any number of years, everywhere else appearing but asan exotick and deciduous plant, Even this Zoilus was not an author, but acritick, and not of Athens, (although he studied there, as Sabin at Oxford,) but of Alexandria, where, however, he got so little encouragement that he was like to starve: the model of all sticceeding detractors, a wretch who desired only to insult, censure, and make himself hateful. “Hpa 8¢ ayopevew Kax@s, kal arexOdverOar moAAots oxoryy elxe, nad poyepds Hy 6 Karodainwr. ZELIAN. Var. Hist. Lib. xi. cap. ro, Ver. 46. And Bavius blind, &e.] Mr. Dennis, celebrated critick of a past age, ventured a doubt that Bavius headed in Rome no inconsiderable party against Virgil, as Settle in London against Dryden ; a thing but too probable. 56 THE OBLIVIAD. Book I. Propitious times; but since what swarms arise, Spread wide o’ér earth, or shut out all the skies. Not sut-drops sent upon the growing blast 55 From some foul furnace, ere the smoke.act past ; Not showers of toads, not snakes which sometimes seen To fall, and hateful hiss along the green, NOTES. VER. 51. The Dixons of those days, &c.} Some friends have somewhat officiously suggested, that from the frequent mention of Dixon in this epic, I should rather entitle it the Dixoniad; while others would style it the Hepworthiad, as more heroic; while others still (for people are very fond, as I have ascertained since I commenced author, of expressing = difference of opinion,) are for calling it the Athenzead; but I myself have rather in- clined to Obliviad, for reasons which will appear by-and-by. The present Dixon, ‘‘ of an old Puritan family,” (how it runs in the blood!) was author of a tragedy which can not be said to have been forgotten, for it was never known, except to ‘‘a few friends,” who damn’d it in silence, as Dryden’s expression is; wrote ‘‘ Literature of the Lower Orders,’’ with a design to prove himself one of them, which he was; sunk, it was thought, to the lowest, when he became Editor cf an obscure sheet called the Athe- nzum, until his Spiritual Prostitutes”? came on the town, beneath which is nothing. : i Dixon is of Manchester ; which sometimes has made me exclaim, when I have heard some Cockney inquire, if there were anything new in /iZeratoor ? Adyeral 7 Kawdy ; yévorro yap by Tt Kawvdrepoy, } Maxedov avhp “ASnvatous KatamoAeuar, kal Ta Tay ‘EAA}vor Sioxay ; Of which the following is a close translation: What new? Can anything be more new than that a man of Manchester should rule the Press, and give law to Literature ?— We used, formerly, in Lancashire, to speak of a Gen¢/eman from Liverpool, but of a Man from Manchester: also, of a fe//ow from Bolton; wherein as there is no College, it was a fellow of Dixon’s sort. VER. 56. the smoke act] An Act in England to compel those burn- ing large quantities of coal to consume the smoke, and thus abate the sut- drop nuisance, Am. Ep. Ver. 57. Not showers of toads,| ** Toads, as we all know,” says the historian, ‘‘are filthy in their aspect, live in damp, obscure, dark places, and crawl out only by night :” are ‘looked upon with great aversion by the major part of mankind,” Of the genus yaa there are more than fifty sps- Book I. THE OBLIVIAD. 57 In numbers such; nor such the maggot breeds When crawls the carcass in the mass it feeds ; 60 Not e’en when copious Bulwer writes the book, And reams on reams supply the pastry-cook. NOTES. cies: Maxima, the great toad ; variadilis, the changeable; ridibunda, the jocular, with a voice human; domdixza, the laughing toad, for there is more than one such; dean, the bull frog; ventricosa, the tumid; cum multis aliis ; salsa, the salt; musica, the musical; venenata, the envenomed ; bufo, the common toad: full blown Bufo, said Pope; this he applied to the patron; but the resemblance, in general, is more to the writers, or rather reviewers, (with the exception of mzsica, claimed by the poets,) as the names sufficiently indicate ; of which additional evidence may be found in the following: ‘‘ This toad, then, who had taken up his residence under a hol- low stone in a hedge of blind nettles, I used to watch for hours together. It was a large, lumpish animal, that squatted on its belly, and perked up its hideous head with two glazed eyes, precisely like a Critical Reviewer.” GIFFoRD. How these creatures fall in showers is as much a puzzle to philosophers as how animals crept first out of the earth, agreeable to the hypothesis of Epicurus: ‘*Cum prorepserunt primis animalia terris,”’ 2 Hor. Sat. L. i. S, ili, v. 99. - By the way, there is a Satire, voluminous too, entitled Aude¢a, after a va- riety of toad, the ruddock, from which a species of poison is extracted, as we read in JUVENAL: “‘Occurrit matrona potens, qu molle Calenum Porrectura viro miscet sitiente rwbetan.” Sat. i, v. 69. VER. 60. When crawls the carcass] I knew an Anatomist who got a pre- sent of a whale, which he dissected, and left in an open place, intending to cut all away, except the bones, for a skeleton. But, on returning after some days, an enormous mass of maggots had got possession of it; which first devoured the whole carcass, and then one another, until all disappeared. Where they came from, said he, for the science of Histology had not then made much progress, or where they went to, is equally strange; but gnaw away they did, like so many reviewers on a folio, and so vanished. VER, 61. copious Bulwer] It was the wonder of the Age in which he lived how this author found time for any thing else than writing, (to call 3* 58 THE OBLIVIAD. Book I. So num’rous they ; but, more, the scribbling kind Assumes all shapes, and to no name confined : NOTES. things by their prevailing names;) for, certainly, if his-works merited the reading, a student would require no other books, as, with that degree of at- tention demanded by good authors, Bulwer alone would occupy the most diligent ali his days, I have made the most indefatigable search for them, on stalls, in the waste paper shops, and the Museum, (not having, at that time, those other means of dredging for dead books,) and have ascertained the number of nine thousand, nine hundred, and ninety-nine, being only one volume short of the whole number a great scholar allowed to a complete library. Yet did this, the most industrious of men, make, in addition, ex- cursions on horseback and on foot, deliver himself of speeches, marry, beget an author, and perform all the ordinary functions of an animal creature.— O! le gran virtuoso, VER. 62. supply the pastry-cook.] We think we had heard of the pastry-cook before. Ep. ATH. So had I. Horace has it, in effect, though he but speaks of the grocer: ** Deferar in vicum vendentem thus et odores, Et piper, et quicquid chartis amicitur ineptis.’? Epist. Lib, ii., 1. v. 269. In which he is followed by PERSIUS: ‘¢Linquere nec scombros metuentia carmina, nec thus?”? Sat. i. v. 43. To the grocer MarTIAL adds the fishmonger, as others the pastry-cook ; ‘*Ne nigram cito raptus in culinam Cordyllas madida tegas papyro, Vel thuris piperisque sis cucullus.” Lib, iii, Ep. ii, v. 3. ** Quod si non scombris scelerata poémata dones.” Ibid. Ep. L. v. 9. 6 Si damnaverit, ad salariorum Curras scrinia protinus licebit, Inversa pueris arande charta.’? Id. Lib. iv, Ep. Ixxxvii, v. 9. Perhaps, when Martial speaks of wrapping salt mackerel and spices, in Book I. THE OBLIVIAD. 59 Now grubs on earth, these next ascend the sky, 65 Wing with the breeze, live their short day and die ; Ephemera best styled, though men insist Upon a borrow’d name, the Novelist ; NOTES. this way, he means it in a friendly sense, as thereby to preserve these accursed compositions, as he calls them: sce/erata poémata, Ver. 66. Wing with the breeze,| Id est, go with the crowd. VER. 67. Ephemera] Otherwise, the hemerobion, for the same reason, that it lives butaday. The life of longer lived insects of this kind, says the Naturalist, is regulated by the multiples of seven: thus, the gnat and the maggot prolong their days to three times seven; while others reach an ex- treme old age at four times this number, being viviparous, like the human creature, the life of which is also thus regulated; some of this species drop- ping off at three,.and some at four, times seven, the grand climacterick being reached when it is multiplied by nine, at which time, or at 63, in the course of nature, man, like the others, shrivels up, and dies. Consult Puiny, Hist. Nat. Ibid. LZphemera best styled, though men insist Upon «a borrow d name, the Novelist ;} To correct this passage, rather read hebdomadal; Hebdomadal best styled ; for the novelists appear weekly, and, in the Athenzeum, ‘‘ Novels of the Week” is always an article by itself. Ep. Atu. IMITATIONS. VER. 62. reams on reams supply the pastry-cook:| The modern Italians continue the usage of their forefathers, and wrap fish in printed paper, which with them is a/ga vilior ; as with us, since our fishwomen laid aside the straw and weed. At this desecration of the fish, fepoy ixédy, held sacred by the Ancients, Apollo, writing from Parnassus, thus ex- presses his regrets, through his Secretary BOCCALINI: Lssendo grandissima vergogna, che la maggior parte dé libri, choggidi si stampano, vadano per le mani, non de’ literati, ma di coloro, che vendono il cauiale. ed il pesce cotto. Al Cardinal Bembo, ed al Boccaccio, Reuisori nostri. To the devil with those who said all our good things before us! or, in other words, ‘* Pereant qui ante nos nostra dixerunt.” 60 THE OBLIVIAD. Book I. These, light and nimble, more affect the flood, And mingle with the minnows in the mud: 70 These microscopic in the sink you seek, That to the magazine are swept each week : Untiring some through antiquarian ground Grope their blind way, and with the mole are found : A vermin breed, some take a sick’ning name, 75 And feed and fatten on the imps of fame ; While sounds discordant many more betray, The hoot, hiss, howl, the chatter and the bray ; *Mid whom each mongrel whelp his treble tries, That but some cynick critick in disguise : 80 These, with what else capricious chance can bring, The kind equivocal, and two legg’d thing, Spawn’d, dropp’d, and litter’d, farrow’d, hatch’d, extend, And all the land befoul from end to end. Vast hordes of mice defaced his fair domain, 85 These Smintheus banished to their caves again ; NOTES. VER. 70. minnows in the mud:| For as minnow comes from m27i- ma, the mud is the proper place to find it, agreeable to the Law, ‘‘ Semper in obscuris quod minimum est sequimur.”—ULPIAN. 1. g. de reg. Jur. VER. 75. A vermin breed,| Said the illustrious physiologist Hunter, when told of some critick on his researches, All creatures are naturally fed on by some species of vermin; classing the critick as the vermin of the man of genius; though vermin was not the word that Hunter used, a Scotchman, who spoke out plain. VER. 82. two legg’d thing,| Plato’s definition of the creature man, a two-legged thing, without feathers, Am. Ep. Ver. 85. Vast hordes of mice| This year all western Asia, Roumelia, and Thessaly, have been overrun and devasted by successive armies of mice ; a very ancient pest in these countries, and anterior to the time of Homer, VER, 86. These Smintheus, &c.] Ido not pretend to inform a man of William Hepworth Dixon’s learning, editor of the Leading Literary Jour- Book I, THE OBLIVIAD. 61 From Enna wide the rabbit swarm’d about, But soon the ferret drove the nuisance out ; Once Britain pester’d by her native rat, Him the Norwegian gnaw’d, and him the cat: 90 NOTES. nal, &c., why Apollo was called Smintheus, from oulv6os, a raz; the best explanation of which is, that the rat, being the primitive symbol of night, Apollo, the god of day, drove him to his lurking place: just as criticks, being also of the gnawing, vermin, hated, hungry, and midmight breed, seek concealment, and skulk before the beams of knowledge, of which, of -all creatures, they are the most intolerant. VER. 87. From Enna wide the rabbit swarm’ d about,| The ‘*Omphalos of Town,” said Bulwer, affectedly. As he was at the trouble of appending a note, he might have added, that Enna was thus called, as being the zave/, around which all the other parts of the Island were convolved: dugieAloow, circumvolvo, Delphi, situated, as the Ancients supposed, in the mdd/e of the Earth, was called terre umbilicus, VER, 88. the ferret drove the nuisance out ;] Not so in the Ba- leares, of which the natives begged of the Emperor Augustus the aid of an army to exterminate them. ‘‘Certum est, Balearicos adversus proventum eorum auxilium militare a Divo Augusto petisse.” PLIN. Hist., Lib. viii, cap. 55. VER. 90. the Norwegian] These rats, known, in the language of the country, as the Leming, are said to fall in showers on the plains of Norway, where they devour all that comes in their way, and attack the in- habitants, Pestem Locustarum simillimam, said Scaliger. In despair of all other means, the priest at length routs them with an EXORCISMUS. ‘¢ Exorcizo vos pestiferos vermes, mures, aves, seu locustas aut animalia alia, per Deum patrem omnipotentem, ut confestim recedatis ab his campis, nec amplius in eis habitetis, sed ad ea loca transeatis, in quibus nemini nocere possitis: sitis maledicti, deficientes de die in diem in vos ipsos et de- crescentes, quatenus reliquize de vobis nullo in loco inveniantur.”’ OL. Worm. Hist. Anim. quod in Norvagia quandoque e Nubibus decidit, Of which passage the following may be accepted as a translation : All ye, I exorcise, pestiferous vermin, reviewers, reptiles, poetasters, and other scribblers, and nibblers whatever, in the name of your common Pa- 62 THE OBLIVIAD, Book I. But, say, what ratsbane, in our last defence, What potent purge can scour these scribblers hence ; How Muloch, Mayhew, Taylor chase, and Reid, With Wood the Howitts, and how stop the breed ; NOTES. rent, which is the Devil, that forthwith ye depart from these places, nor any longer infest them, but that ye sneak off into your native holes, where is nothing to gnaw but yourselves, like rats, which ye are: be ye accursed, wanting in pen, ink, and paper, and turned out of doors from this very day ; in-so-far that no remains of you shall be found in any court, corner, or lane, in these kingdoms, whichsoever. Amen. Oremus. VER. 93. MZlock,] Miss Dinah Maria, who published, in 1849, her first novel; her second, and her third, and her fourth, and her fifth, and her sixth, and her seventh, and her eighth, and her ninth, and her tenth, and her eleventh; I am out of breath; her twelfth, thirteenth, and her four- teenth, fifteenth, sixteenth; I really cannot repeat how many more, in suc- ceeding years, to the latest date. Obtained a “literary pension,” that is, a pension miserably small, in 764; in ’65 married Mr. George Lillie Craig, who died in 66; fast work, that identical year in which Miss Dinah sent four books to the press. O/ la gran virtuosa, Ibid. Mayhew,] Henry, spent a short time at Westminster School, went off to sea, and was articled to a solicitor; a sea atlorney, I suppose, as Byron called it. Accomplished youth, he now writes for the Magazines ; brings out Farces ; discloses the ‘‘ Wonders of Science ;” tries ‘‘ Tricks of Trade ; ” shews ‘‘ Whom to Marry, and How to Get Married ;”’ compiles *¢London Labour and London Poor ;” and, was last collecting materials, it is said, for the ‘* Rag-Pickers of the Press.” Ibid. Zaylor] Bayard; early courted the Muse, by whom he was jilted; wandered away ‘* Afoot,” with a ‘‘ Knapsack and Staff;” ‘* became con- IMITATIONS. Ver. 92. What potent purge, &c.] ‘‘What rhubarb, senna, or what purgative drug, Would scour these English hence?” MACBETH, Act v. scene 3. Book I. THE OBLIVIAD. 63 What best on Earth the grievance to expel, 95 Or, Heav’n against us, how to move all Hell. The Publick sure might well the funds advance, As last year 'gainst the cockchafers in France ; NOTES. nected with The Tribune newspaper ;’’ wooed the Muse once more ‘‘ Down East,” and again sought consolation in ‘‘ Travels,” Ibid. and Reid,| Captain Mayne. After five years tuition among the savages of Missouri, and a course of military in Mexico, was carried off to the common sink of Oblivion near the Thames, therein to cast ‘* Rifle Rangers,’’ ** Scalp Hunters,” ‘¢ The Young Yiigers,” ‘ Bruin, or the Grand Bear Hunt,” with some fifty works besides, all deserving. VER. 94. Wood,] Mrs. Henry; ‘‘ whose father, being head of a leading glove manufacturing firm at Worcester, (famous also for a piquant sauce, ) she inherited his literary taste, and at an early age married Mr, Henry Wood, a gentleman connected with the shipping trade.’ Aborted first in the New Monthly and Bentley’s; since which, prolific as a princess, she out- numbers with her offspring the years; thus: in 1860, twins; in 1861, trip- lets, besides an abortion, for so I may call a small book issued for the bene- fit of the ‘‘ Lancashire Operatives ;” in 1863, quarter of a dozen; ’64 en- titled her to the Queen’s Bounty, for besides certain Daughters, she gave two Males and an Heir. In the following year we find but one registered ; however, she conceived again, and dropped twins, in 66; being now, as I am informed by a Man-Midwife, I mean a Publisher, gravid again. A well- sown furrow, to use the term of Euripides, oetpe téxvwy BAona; for a com- parison between the fecundity of which, and that of the earth; ‘‘ fecunditas muliebris, cum Agri fertilitate comparata ;” consult BERGERUS, Stromateus Academicus, cap, xviii. Ibid, Zhe Howétts,] What an inveterate weed is Romance ! The Quakers, of whom Mrs, Howitt is one, could not grub it from their garden. Besides romance, toiled at poetry and the drama; gave, in conjunction with Mr, Howitt, many children of the brain, as well as of the body, all literary, Father, mother, daughters, an entire progeny to the press, IMITATIONS. Ver. 96. Or, Heav'n against us, how to move all Hell.) ‘«Flectere si nequeo superos, Acheronta movebo,’’ Virc, Aneid. vii v. 312, 64 THE OBLIVIAD. Book I. Or must the nation ’neath the curse be brought, And Satire in her age assist in naught ? 100 Rash reader, doubt not; Providence o’errules, Who keeps apart some limbo for her fools; From ill apparent draws substantial good, And but to wash our sins invoked the flood; Removes herself the mischief she began, 105 And vindicates the wisdom of her plan. NOTES. Ver. 97. The Publick sure might well the funds advance,] Asif our taxes were not heavy enough already! See our Pamphlet on this subject. Ep, ATH. Ver. 98. As last year 'gainst the cockchafers in France ;] Ina single day, reports a Journal of Amiens, upwards of two millions of these insects were brought to the Town-Hall. Price, rof. the hectolitre. Mixed with lime they make a manure. In England the great swarm this summer was of ants, which pierced the surface of the earth, and spread all over the country. Advancing across Waterloo Bridge, they were met by the great steam roller, and crushed in great numbers; but in vain. These industrious creatures were winged and wingless ; for so are authors, part destined to flights, the poets, part to drudgery, the prosers, and all to Oblivion. VER, 106. vindicates the wisdom of her plan.) ‘The impiety of the above verse, from Virgil, receives a rebuke, as the Author manifestly intended, in this vindication of Providence. Am. Ep. IMITATIONS. % VER. I02., limbo for her fools ;} The Limbo of Fools is on the backside of the world; but not so this place which I am about to describe, ‘©All these upwhirl’d aloft Fly o’er the backside of the world far off Into a Limbo large and broad, since call’d The Paradise of Fools,’ TaraniseE Lost, Book iii. v. 493. Book I. THE OBLIVIAD. 65 ’Neath Thames’ foul bed, a vault from human sight Hides its vast concave in the realms of night ; No deep-sea dredgings here have bottom found, And, as no light finds entrance, heard no sound. 110 Here her wide Catacombs Oblivion keeps, And, where no news disturbs her, Lethe sleeps ; To Chaos next yawns this eternal Cave, And thence if things proceeded, this their grave. The Goddess here, a Shape that seem’d of Gloom, 115 And like some solemn statue on a tomb, Fix’d on a throne, with an unchanging mien, Where all lay dead, throughout that dismal scene : Fell was her face ; where Pride some joy yet cast, That all must yield to her strong sway at last, 120 When Fame has ceased to utter, Life to stir, And Earth itself but one vast sepulchre. NOTES. Ver. 113. Zo Chaos next, &c.] It was an opinion of the Epicureans, that all the worZs (ominous sound !) of Nature would, in the end, descend into Chaos; but as to all the works of those antipodes to Nature, the scribblers, for them, in the end, that is to say, next week, Oblivion is the proper receptacle. Chaos, the classic student need not be informed, signifies to yawn, xdw, isco ; thus, chaos yawns; and Oblivion yawns; the public yawns; and all nature yawns; at mere mention of the mass of the stupid: whence it appears that the day of doom approaches, and that one wide yawn must soon prove the opinion of Epicurus, above mentioned, to be correct, that in chaos, (or a yawn,) all things shall terminate. IMITATIONS. VER. 112. Lethe sleeps 5] «* Quam juxta Lethes tacitus prelabitur amnis, Infernis, ut fama, trahens OBLIVIA venis,” Lucan, L, ix., v. 355. 66 THE OBLIVIAD. Book I. Here hastes incessant all the waste of mind, Through sinks unseen, but in the depth design’d ; NOTES. VER. 124. Through sinks unseen,| Dennis, in his ‘‘ Remarks on the Dun- ciad,” objected in particular against the ‘‘high heroic games,” exhibited on the Strand: ‘For is it not monstrous,” said he, ‘‘to imagine they could take place in the master street of a great’ city; a street eternally crowded with carriages, carts, coaches, chairs, and men, passing in the greatest hurry about private and public affairs?’”? To this we find the counterpart in the following: ‘Sinks unseen; w#seen they certainly are; in opposition to which, we confront the fact, that they have never been met, whether in the laying of pipes for gas or water, or in the digging of drains, to carry off all the other kinds of refuse, But not this only ; according to him, (the author,) to the remotest corners of the earth, these channels of his are present, and make part of the original foundation of it!”—Ep. ATH.—A thing to shock credulity, Ido not deny; but which, yet, is not at all more amazing than a matter in Science, at present familiar to every one; namely, that, as used in sending messages by the telegraph, a current courses zigzag in the earth, through channels zseenz, and which, moreover, haye never been countermined or intercepted by any pipes, drains, courses, or obstruc- tion whatever. ‘< Of all the miracles of science,” said Lardner, ‘surely this is the most marvellous, A stream of electric fluid has its source in the cellars of the Central Electric Telegraph Office, Lothbury, London, It flows under the streets of the great metropolis, and passing on wires suspended over a zig- zag series of railways, reaches Edinburg (or any other remote place,) where it dips into the earth, and diffuses itself upon the buried plate. From that IMITATIONS. VER. 114. And thence if things proceeded, this their grave.] Lucretius says of the Earth, **Omniparens, eadem rerum commune sepulcrum,” L. V., v. 260. The universal parent, as the common sepulcre of all things. Which Mil- ton applied to Chaos, *¢The womb of nature, and perhaps her grave,” And which I have altered, to suit the oderz system of the Universe. Book I. THE OBLIVIAD. 67 With their dead works the race of writers go, 125 And, spite of well-paid puffing, sink below } (For though the tall plumed hearse, the parish cart, May bear, ’tis not their unimmortal part ;) The mass of matter and the motley throng, As through arterial drainage, thrust along. 130 NOTES. it takes flight through the crust of the earth, and finds its ows way back to the cellars at Lothbury!!!” ‘* The Electric Telegraph,” By Dionysius LARDNER. p. 25. The greater wonder, indeed! for this ‘‘stream’’ that we are describing, which, in a like manner, ‘‘ flows under the streets of the metropolis”’ un- seen, and “through the crust of the earth,” fails to find its way back, from the ‘‘ buried plate,” to the ‘‘central’’ cellars and garrets of Grub Street, but is lost by the way, and sinks into Thames, as can easily be conceived ; for, as Mr. Bays said, ‘‘nothing so easy when understood.” VER. 126, spite of well-paid puffing, sink below;| Seemingly having no power of spontaneous puffing, unlike puppies and other creatures, that generate wind, anc float, some days after submersion. VER. 128. their unimmortal part ;| The Ancients had a notion that man was fourfold : the flesh, the shade, the mazes, and the spirit ; of which the ground took the first, the second hovered around the tomb, the third sought the lower regions, and the fourth those above; as in these verses, attributed to Ovid: *¢ Bis duo sunt homini; manes, caro, spiritus, umbra: Quatuor ista loci bis duo suscipiunt. Terra tegit carnem, tumulum circumvolat umbra, Orcus habet manes, spiritus astra petit.’’ But we, the Moderns, have changed all-that ; and divide this creature man into three, of which the mortal part seeks the earth, the immortal, vari- ously, the higher regions and the lower, but this third, or wsimmortad, part, Oblivion. VER. 130. As through arterial drainage,| A very exceptionable phrase, since the word arterial comes from aer, air, the early anatomists having supposed that the arteries were filled with it,-like the wind-pipe, or arteria aspera, as they called it, whereas we now know that these vessels contain the life blood itself; whence an additional impropriety, as our artificial 68 THE OBLIVIAD, Book I. Heavens! what a crowd had choked the common sewer, When crowds on crowds impell’d the mass before, Till last week’s heaviness by this push’d on, Gave forth one gurgling sound, and all was gone ; No record left of all the worthless list, 135 Those that full puff’d by praise, and those that hist. Buchanan, Reade, like dogs, have had their day, And, with the Laureate, then passed away ; Then Homer, when three thousand years were pass’d, Press’d by the weight of Worsley, sank at last ; 140 Then Mackay, too, contemn’d of all the Nine, Then Lytton all thy works, and Proctor thine: NOTES. channels carry off, principally, but the refuse and waste of the body, in the same manner as those other sewers of Oblivion do those of the mind, Ibid. arterial drainage,| To (ree the Thames from the filth of the Metropolis, two capacious drains had just then been constructed, and run parallel with the river, into which disembogue all the tributary sinks, Am, Ep, VER. 137. Buchanan,] Robert; spes altera Rome, heir to the Laurel ; ‘writer and reader of verses, the delight of Hep. Dixon, to whom he has dedicated ; candidate for Oblivion in a new piece, puffed of the metaphysi- cal sort ; of whom, and his writings, more anon. Ibid. Reade,] Jno. Edmund, verseman and proseman, produced ‘‘ Cain the Wanderer,” ‘‘Catiline” and ‘‘Italy,” after which ‘‘ The Deluge,” with a chaos of ‘‘ Drama,” ‘‘ Vision,” ‘* Revelation,” ‘‘ Paradise,” ‘* Lyri- cal Poems,” and ‘‘ Laureate Wreaths,” Ver. 140. Worsley] One of the moderz translators of the Iliad, who, at present, number three hundred and seventy, being three hundred more than the famous ‘‘ Interpreters’? One of the ecient translators of the Iliad, was named Accius Labeo, a famous man, in PERSIUS: “* Non hic est Ilias Acci, Ebria veratro?”’ Sat. i. v. 50. Ver. 141. Mackay,| Charles, LL.D., wrote, among other Joetical pieces, ‘‘ The Hope of the World,” ‘ Voices from the Crowd,” ‘* Legends Book I. THE OBLIVIAD. 69 Review, book, author, undistinguish’d duck’d In common sink, and to the centre suck’d. Nor other, Maelstrom, do the waters glide 145 Where thy vast vortex cuts the Norway tide: Around and round concentric currents draw, Till half the ocean gather’d to his maw, And sailor, cargo, ship, together go, Ah, hapless sight! and seek the gulf below. 150 Chief from the Row the midnight floods begin, While some supply the thick and some the thin; NOTES, of the Isles,” and ‘‘ Four Lyricks” : In prose, «« Memoirs of Extraordinary -Popular Delusions,” among which he might have inserted, that Mackay was thonght a poet. Ver, 142. Lytton} Edward Robert Bulwer, Owen Meredith Lytton, wrote ‘*Clytemnestra and other Minor Pieces,’’ ‘* The Wanderer, a Col- lection of Poems in Many Lands,” and a novel, in verse, (for the poet would break out in him,) entitled Lucille. Ibid. Proctor,] Poet, born in 1790, or poet born, xascitur non fit. Tragedies, Dramatic Scenes, and Songs. VER. 144. common sink,| Not signifying mean or despicable, al- though this as a secondary signification may be admitted; nor, by any means, uncommon, (which would be absurd ;) but gezeraZ, which you will find among the meanings in Di. Johnson’s dictionary, and in which he himself used it, when he wrote, ‘The common sewer of Paris, and of Rome.” Var. 151. Chief from the Row] The famous Pater Noster Row, occu- pied by the Publishers, Am. Ep. IMITATIONS. Ver. 148. waw,] This is the darathri in the description of Virgil : *¢ Atque imo barathri ter gurgete vastos Sorbet in abruptum fluctus.”’ ENEID. Lib. iii., v. q21, 70 THE OBLIVIAD. Book I. Such who in solid dullness seem to think, And such whose driv’lings well dilute their ink The great cloaca, from her utmost springs, 155 (Whose deep foundations long before our kings,) NOTES. VeER. 155. Zhe great cloaca,| Mr. Mayhew gives a description of the **old civic stream” so very much like this of Oblivion, that I cannot help transcribing it : “« First, then, as to the ramifications of the ancient Fleet outlet.”— (How capacious! it gave passage to the F/ee¢,)—‘* From its mouth, so to speak, near Blackfriars Bridge, its course is not parallel with any public way, but running somewhat obliquely, it crosses below Tudor Street into Bridge Street, Blackfriars, then occupies the centre of Farringdon Street, and continues until the City portion of the Fleet Sewer meets the Metro- politan jurisdiction between Saffron and Matton Hills. In its City course, the sewer receives the issue from one hundred and fifty public ways, (in- cluding streets, alleys, courts, lanes, &c.,) which are emptied into it from the second, third, and smaller class sewers from Ludgate Hill, and its prox- imate streets, the St. Paul’s locality, Fleet Street, and its adjacent commu- nications in Wellington Street and the Strand,’?—(Wellington Street, Strand, London, W.C. Mark that, Reader. )— ** Some of the sewers are found forty feet below the street, some two feet, some almost level with it.” “The deposit has been found to contain all the ingredients from the breweries, dunghills, the gas-works, and the several chemical and mineral manufactories ; dead dogs, cats, kittens, and rats; offal from slaughter- houses, sometimes even including the entrails of animals; street pavement dirt of every variety; vegetable refuse; stable dung ; cacata charta, Athe- naeums ; the refuse of pig-sties; night-soil ; ashes; tin kettles and pans; ink bottles, pens, and paste.” LONDON LABOUR AND Poor. *« Underground London” is the title of a book by Mr, Holingshead, a gentleman deserving of notice, which he shall receive hereafter. There is a celebrated work called oma Sotterranea, by Antonius Bosius, He descended into the Catacombs, as did Mayhew and Holingshead, with this difference, that Bosius came out at the end of the fifth day, while Mayhew and Holingshead are likely ever to remain in them, (GE Note of the American Editor.—I find here in the margin of the primary ‘‘proofs’’ of the Obliviad the following detached verses, which Book I. THE OBLIVIAD. 71 Gleigh, Arnold, Cumming, miscellaneous hides, Where Froude, Head, Ruskin, in the sooty tides. NOTES. seem to apply to the work of Mr. Mayhew just quoted, and some other of his writings: A kind of things which neither tools nor toys, Books that unfitted or for men or boys, Some score ef pages in a florid strain, Till rats and excrement come in again; A mixture such as in the dust-cart seen, With garbage, nosegay, and much muck between. This, however, is conjectural, Am, Ep. VER. 156. (Whose deep foundations long before our kings,)| The Romans assigned their Cloaca Maxima to Tarquin, as we Fleet Ditch to our primitive kings; but as to this main sink of Oblivion, it is anterior to all history and tradition, and must have been constructed with the first foundations of the Earth itself; or, rather, is a remains of Chaos, untouched of Creation. Not to know how ‘floods’ can find a way beneath sea, would only discover an ignorance of Ancient geography. **Alpheum fama est huc, Elidis amnem, Occultas egisse vias subter mare; qui nunc Ore, Arethusa, tuo Siculis confunditur undis,” AENEID. Lib, iii., v. 694. VER. 157. Arnold,] Professor of Poetry at Oxford, himself writer of poems, some of which he has been at the trouble, very unnecessarily, of withdrawing from the Public. He has written Essays 7% Criticism, and contributed to Zerzodicad literature ; but who has not ? Ibid. Cumming,] The Rev. John, D.D., F.R.S.E., A.S.S. * Voices of the Day,” ‘* Voices of the Night,” and the Oblivion of All Things, in- cluding Blockheads and their Books, which absolutely took place, to his in- finite credit, just as he had prophesied. VER. 158. Froude,] ‘‘ Shadows of the Clouds,” ‘‘ Nemesis of Faith;” each severely censured by the University, which much increased the sale. *«Short Studies on Great Subjects ;’’ a title in which an opposition is in- tended, which to be exact should read, ‘‘Short Studies on Tall Subjects,” classic ‘slang among the Yankees. Mr. Froude stole this title, but wishing to alter it, to escape detection, only spoiled what was scarce worth carrying 72 THE OBLIVIAD. Book I. From Bond, Belgravia, Paul’s, Pall Mall, they sweep, While putrefaction stinks through all the heap ; 160 A weight of words from utmost Tweed comes o’er, And blunders many from Hibernia’s shore; The Yankee ships much crudeness from his shelf, Whence Longfellow, last year, shipp’d off himself ; Remote Australia tries the debt to pay, 165 But sends her hides and wool another way ; Where California, thou, thy golden grain, While Bret alloy of Bowie-knife and brain. NOTES. off at the first. The plundered work is called ‘*Small Books on Great Subjects. Christian Doctrine in the Second Century.” A 12mo., pub- lished in 1824, and raised by me out of Oblivion. Ibid. Head,] Sir Francis Bond, Bart., K.C.H., &c. Knight of the Prussian AZilitary Order of Merit. Wrote ‘‘ Bubbles,” “ Pokers,” ‘* Sticks.” As some have shown themselves slashing criticks on rebellious authors, so has he on authors of rebellion, as Canada can testify. Made his way with his sword te a title, but to a pension with his pen. Ibid. Ruskiz,] Abandoned by the Muse of Poetry, his first love, on ac- count of impotence, took up with her of Painting, who, the younger sister, is much the richer ; wrote and spoke on Painting and Architecture, advo- cated Pre-Raphaelism, ‘and tried his pen on various periodical paper. Ver. 159. Bond, Belgravia, Pauls, Pail Maii,] localities in London, where an equal number of Periodicals are publishece that thence severally take their titles. Am. Ep. VER. 163. crudeness| Alluding to the yaw material, we suppose ; the cotton. Ep. ATH, Ver. 164. Longfellow] Henry Wadsworth, the great American, Ifyou would enjoy his works, be sure to ask for the Red-Line edition, as advertised, with the Roxburghe binding. Ibid. Whence Longfellow last year,| Mr. Longfellow was at this time receiving much attention in England. Am. Ep. Ver. 167. Where Cal'fornia, thou, thy golden grain, While Bret alloy of Bowie-knife and brain.] Golden grain: an ambiguity; since it may either mean grain of gold, or Book 1, THE OBLIVIAD. 73 Thus freed the land from the much mingling tide, And still renewing heaps are cast aside. 170 Else in what dens obscure the masses seek Which disappear and which appear each week ? Where else those piles of paper hourly writ, On which those thousands show their want of wit ? NOTES. wheat, the golden harvest of the poets, shipped in great quantities from California, and ranking, in Mark Lane, with that of Chili. Now, on the first supposition ; it is true, the alloy, sometimes written allay, would seem to come in with propriety, were it not that gold is no longer, as a rule, found granular in the country alluded to, but in quarts, (we don’t mean by measure, as ale or beer, which would convict us of a pun, stolen from the inimitable Hood,) from which there is need to separate it by a process called smelting. Onthe second; namely, that the golden grain signified the wheat, in the Greek mipbs, from mip, igzis, on account of its colour, it would bring in a confusion of images to speak of an alloy in that connexion; when the verse should rather have run, ** While Bret his Bowie-knife and smut of brain:”’ the Bowie-knife being put for the scythe, figuratively, and the smut, or mil- dew, literally; leaving out that other signification of the word, at present. Ilowever, since the Satirists, of whom, we suppose, this prosaic person counts himself ove, sometimes speak of a brain of lead, it is possible the meaning may be, that Bret furnished with the iron of his California tooth- pick, and that other metal, the alloy to the gold, and not to the wheat, an absurdity. Ep. ATH. Ver. 168. Bret] Notwithstanding the above remarks by the Editor of the Athenzeum, and what is said in the text, Mr. Harte, instead of being the heaviest, is the lightest of writers, being held down by no weight whatever, whether of knowledge or sense, and inflated largely with vanity, ‘© A brain of feather, and a heart of lead:” But this does not apply to him; for he wants all ballast, with which even balloons are freighted. VER. 169. Thus freed the land from the much mingling tidz,| It is a question among the humorists, where do all the fives go to ? and, lately, where do all the zis ? of which, as the eafs don't seem to accumulate, 4 74 THE OBLIVIAD. Book I. Count out each ream the vilest usage takes, 175 Mandungus wraps, or what supplies the jakes ; Of Athenzums all the heaps untold ; Which printed ev’ry week, and never sold; All Kinglake, Melville, Neale, with Berkeley, blot, And left on loft of stationers to rot: 180 NOTES. and are only seen occasionally, glistening on a cart, or in a sink, we must imagine some such receptacle for them also. VER. 178. never sold ;| Especially since the Academy began ; in every respect « far superior Journal, whether in point of erudition, acumen, or taste, but, above all, of Aozesty ; when the Public is not de- ceived, on the one side, and the Author not misrepresented, on the other. The names of the writers vouch for their respectability ; unlike the Athe- nzum, which dares not bring forward those obscure scrubs it hires. VER, 179. Kinglake,] Author of ‘‘ Eothen,” an account of his Eastern travels; and an “Invasion of the Crimea” ; books much in vogue, at one time. ‘ Ibid. AZelville,| Entered the army, joined the Turks, and commenced writer of novels; among which are ‘*General Bounce,” ‘‘ Good for Nothing,” ‘* Tilbury Nogo,’”? an ‘Unsuccessful Man.” Contributor to Fraser and Blackwood. Ibid, Meale,] The Rev. Erskine ; has written some sermons, but more novels, of which some are Christian and some not, as, ‘* Recollections of a Gaol Chaplain,” ‘‘ Scenes where the Tempter has Triumphed,” ‘ Risen from the Ranks,” and ‘‘ My Comrades and my Colours.” All which,—but de mortuis. Ibid. Berkeley,] Since the day is rapidly approaching, from the great in- crease of the illustrious, when all our time will be scarce sufficient to ascer- tain, and commit to memory, the names of the dead, (as the reader knows.) would it not be desirable to omit, say, half-a-dozen of Berkeley’s. If, indeed, this be not a superfluous piece of advice, as the retrenchment has long since begun, and been brought into use generally ; a matter pointed out by Hey- wood, who begins with examples of the profusion of the Ancients in respect of the high sounding surnames they gave to those whom they deemed de- serving of honour ; as here follows; Book I. THE OBLIVIAD. 73 Count out each scribe who hid in cellar sleeps, In jail who shut, or whom the workhouse keeps ; NOTES. ‘© Past Ages did the antient Poets grace, And to their swelling stiles, the very place Where they were borne, denomination lent, Publius Ovidius Naso had the ostent OF Sulmonensis added, —— Publius Virgilius likewise had the addition Of Maro, to express his full condition, Marcus Annzus, Lucanus, Seneca, Bore title from his city Corduba,” This when the world had few names, and the burden was light on the me- mory. But, with the increase of fame, it came by necessity, that, not only were some of the superadded names dropped, but those that were retained, curtailed, until what was Virgilius became Virgi/, and Titus Livius, Zite Live, at which Chesterfield, with all his predilection for the French, was so much shocked. A matter thus noticed by Heywood, in the verses which come next after the above: : ‘* Our moderne Poets to that passe are driuen, Those names are curtal’d which they first had giuen; And, as we wisht to haue their memories drown’d, We scarcely can afford them halfe their sound. Marlo, renown'd for his ~are art and wit, Could ne’er attaine beyond’ f. name of A7z: Although his Hero and Leander did Merit addition rather, Famous Aid ‘Was call’d but Zo, Tom, Watson, though he wrote Able to make Apollo’s selfe to dote Vpon his Muse; for all that he could striue Yet neuer could to his full name arriue. Tom, Nash (in his time of no small esteeme) Could not a second syllable redeeme. Excellent Bewmont, in the foremost ranke Of rar’st Wits, was neuer more than Franck. Mellifluous Shake-speare, whose inchanting Quill Commanded Mirth or Passion, was but W72/. And famous /oézson, though his learned Pen Be dipt in Castaly, is still but Bez. 76 THE OBLIVIAD. Book T. Who in asylums where the wealthy lie, With such who rave on public charity : Yet these compared how few with crowds untold 185 Which deep Oblivion holds, and yet can hold ; Itself too small, did not the sage confess, On trial made, this pit the ‘‘ bottomless.” Rich, poor, taught, untaught, in one task unite, For who for nothing fit, at least can write ; 190 NOTES. Fletcher and Webster, of that learned packe None of the mean’st, yet neither was but Jacke. Deckers but Tom, nor May, nor Middleton, And hee’s now but Jacke Foord, that once was ohn.” The Hierarchie of the blessed Angells. The Fall of Lucifer with his Angells, A oem in Nine Books, Lib, iv. p. 206, Written by THo: HEYwoop. Let it now, therefore, be sufficient to say, that Berk gave to Fras, of the Magazine, a thrashing, and £100; money advantageously laid out ; and shot Dr. Maginn, into the bargain. If our young Nobility, and others, should follow the example of the Hon, G., it will then be necessary, as in parts of the United States, to keep a fighting editor, otherwise the poltroons of our Reviews will be liable to constant kicking, in the manner of Fraser. Crack hollo ! crack hollo ! a master of stag and fox hounds, was it rather a whip? Be on your guard, Hepworth, Wrote ‘‘ My Life and Recollec- tions’’, with 4.5 Lineage ; ‘* Landon Hall”, ‘* Love at the Lion ;” in addi- tion to which, so to express it, periodicaled occasionally. Ver. 188, this pit the bottomeless.| Which is to confound it with another place. Ep. ATH. VER, 189. Rich, poor, taught, untaught, in one task unite, For who for nothing fit, at least can write ;) ¢Tt is not now, as in former times, when men studied long, and passed through the severities of discipline, and the probation of public trials, before they presumed to think themselves qualified for instructors of their country- men There is found a nearer way to fame and erudition, and the enclo- sures of literature are thrown open to every man whom idleness disposes to loiter, or whom pride inclines to set himself in view. The sailor publishes Book I. THE OBLIVIAD. 77 And headless, handless, to the trade are put Of senseless scribbling, with a pen in foot. NOTES. his journal ; the farmer writes the process of his annual labour: He that succeeds in his trade thinks his wealth a proof of his understanding, and boldly tutors the public ; He that fails, considers his miscarriage as the con- sequence of a capacity tuo great for the business of a shop, and amuses him- self in the Fleet with writing or translating. The last century imagined, that a man composing in his chariot was an object of curiosity; but how much would the wonder have been increased, by a footman studying behind it? There is no class of men without its authors from the peer to the thrasher ; nor can the sons of literature be confined any longer to Grub- street or Muorfields; they are spread over all the town, and all the country, and fill every stage of habitation, from the cellar to the garret.” It is a hundred years since this was written, when they could not show one author for every thousand we can boast of now; so great are the advances which the world is making in population, as, also, in prose and poetry. VER. 191. Axd headless, handless, to the trade are put Of senseless scribbling, with a pen in foot.] As toa man’s being headless, we mean, simply, as the expression is, that he has no head; no head for business, no head for strdy, ‘fit for nothing,’ as the text has it; the thing is known: but if there 1s any Reviewer, that is to say, inveterate blockhead, who, judging from his own impotence, throws doubt on the mechanical incapacity of a man without members, it is because, in the bottom of the obscure court where he skulks, he has not heard of that Gentleman lately elected to Parliament, who has neither ands nor feet, but only a mouth ; which-he uses with admirable dexterity, not only for sucking, chewing, whistling, spitting, mouthing, speaking, and hissing, required as member of the House; but for holding knife and fork, reins of bridle, pen, yes, and whip too, you dunce; for it is plain that you have never heard, either, of what Philip of Macedon said of the Athenians, that they were like the Mercuries posted in their own streets, 2/7 mouth: for of these figures the body was shrunk into a pillar, and the mouth distended ; something like the posts, opposite public houses, with figure of horse’s head, and ring in the open jaws, to fasten your rein to, Mr. Reviewer, when, haply you have occasion to make use of this part of your body, that is to say, to drink, Since this was written I have seen a description of the above mentioned 78 THE OBLIVIAD. Book I. Old age, in dotage, at the desk is seen, And boys compose a weekly magazine: NOTES. lusus nature, which I will here subjoin. ‘Mr, Kavanah has neither legs nor arms! He was born in this unfinished fashion ; and in place of legs has but six inches of muscular thigh stumps, one being about an inch shorter than its fellow; while his arms are dwarfed to, perhaps, four inches of the upper portion of these members, and these are unfurnished with any termi- nations, approaching, in the remotest manner, to hands. Yet, you will probably be surprised to hear, that he is a beautiful caligraphist, a dashing huntsman, an artistic draughtsman, an unerring shot, and the most expert of yachters! a combination of accomplishments, under the circumstance of his corporeal imperfections, that is certainly astonishing. ‘‘His mode of writing is simple, but must have been attended with great trouble before he attained the proficiency which he unquestionably has. He holds the pen or pencil in his mouth, and guides its course by the arm-stumps, which are sufficiently long to meet across the chest, and by this apparently impossible mode he produces a caligraphy, each letter of which is distinctly formed, and all without any peculiarity, or what is called cha- racter. When hunting, he sits in a kind of saddle basket, and his reins are managed with an expertness and ease surprising; but, perhaps, the greatest of ‘his achievements is driving a four-in-hand,” To degrade a youth of genius, improved by application, like this, to the drudgery of daily scribbling, would be an outrage upon nature. What we desire to advise, therefore, is intended only for those who are born block- heads, and beneath the common level; the parents of which are often at a loss to determine what trade to put them to, especially when the frame has been as carelessly put together as the understanding. For these no other means of obtaining a living, handicraft or other, seems at all so well adapted as this we are speaking of. In case the back is bent, for instance, it only brings the boy ready shaped to the desk, for which, otherwise, much loss of time, and of health, is required; if without arms, the feet may be educated in as short a time as ordinarily is given to the dancing master, or in less, as only one foot is taught ; if both hands and feet are wanting, it will be but slight cost to screw a pen to the stump; if an idiot, again he comes ready shaped to the business, as thought is quite out of style, and long likely to continue so; but if mad outright, the frantic passages in the sensation novels, it is to be supposed, he will do better than any one else, from the bent of nature, to follow which is the rule we are insisting upon. For further explanation: That part of an organized creature, biped, Book I. THE OBLIVIAD. 79 From fops to foolscap girls withdraw their looks, 195 While such who long past bearing bring forth books ; Peers, postmen, duchesses, the numbers fill, Till all the gen’ral Public plies the quill. One from his wearied thumb the shears has cast, And one, against the proverb, leaves the last ; 200 Another on the. board chalks his remarks, And Burritt, from the anvil beats his sparks ; NOTES. quadruped, centipede, or crawler, which is absolutely indispensable, Cuvier demonstrated to be the stomach, the other parts, as we have seen above, being, one or other, wanting, or sometimes totally so, when the animal is a mere sac, which sucks its own nutriment, and thus dispenses with the mouth, just spoken of. Physiologically considered, therefore, the brain is only that which guides (unless it misguides) the rest, the feet to carry to, the hands to seize, and the teeth to chew, that padulunz, out of which all those acces- sory instruments are nourished, and which supplies to the cravings of the mother wiscus, situated for the greater convenience, in the centre of them. ** Ventrem in medio quietum, nihil aliud, quam datis voluptatibus frui ;” as Menenius Agrippa, long ago, very well explained, in that apologue where the members rebelled against the stomach ; a constant craver, delighting in variety, squeamish, and only then, like the boa, at rest, when gorged, unless seized with a dispepsy, at which time, disquieting itself, it disquiets all around, and shows itself the prototype of that creature we are here considering, or the human of the naturalists. VER. 194. And boys compose a weekly magazine :] In the Advertisement for which especial care is taken to inform us that none but deys have a hand in it; whence, that which is the special defect in many other publications, is in this the special merit, for all is pueridity. VER. 197. postmen,| Among whom I may mention Mr, Richard Carpen, a man of det¢ers emphatically, known as the Rural Postman of Bideford. Received, from the Civil List, a pension of £40 per annum; afterwards increased to £60, as his style improved, by a just rule; for if in proportion as the composition declines, the pension is retrenched, authors will be more upon their metal, and the Public still get the worth of their money. VER. 201. on the board chalks his remarks,| To show how invete- rate the habit is, Gifford used, when a shoemaker’s apprentice, to write on 80 THE OBLIVIAD. Book J. While he who curious once could thrums disperse, Weaves only now the warp and woof of verse, The rattling shuttle skilful then to guide, 205 But now this other tool from side to side. Our cobblers now to critick jobs attend, Who if they can not make, at least can mend ; When, these except, with one contracted view Each writes his book, and is the reader too ; 210. All industry absorb’d, our commerce dead, And wealth and wisdom from the nation fled. Some stringent bill might through the House be press’d, But that the members mad like all the rest; NOTES. the lap-board with his awl; which he tells us himself, for he took pride in the trade ; as did Baudoiiin, who, to honour it, composed his learned treatise De Calceo antigquo et mystico, VER, 202. Burritt from the anvil, &c.| Not in Utopia itself is it thought possible to dispense with War; for there the scheme is, to make Money, wherewith to purchase Mercenaries ; but Mr. Burritt, who is a blacksmith by trade, although an author by necessity, would beat the sword into the pen, and teach all nations to settle with it alone their disputes. In Ariosto, when Discord was sought, to send her among the Infidels, she was found in a Monastery; yet is a ‘ Universal Brotherhood” all that Mr. Burritt re- quires, This ingenious gentleman has sent ‘‘ Sparks from the Anvil,’’ held out ‘* Olive Leaves,” and lectured on Temperance, which last, in the opinion of Cleobulus, &proroy pérpoy, is all yet wanting towards complete happiness. VER. 205. The rattling shuttle skilful then to guide,] O, that is all now done by machinery, and, at no distant day, so will writing. Ep. ATH. VER. 210, Each writes his book, and is the reader too ;| Hyperbolical! hyperbolical!! Who is it, we ask, who can be supposed to believe this ? Ep. ATH. VER. 213. Some stringent bill might through the House be press’d,] As in ancient Rome, where, under Tiberius, certain Members of the Senate were appointed, to stop the waste, and regulate the distribution of Book I. THE OBLIVIAD. 81 Nor likely soon th’ excise to place again, 215 Or heavy tax impose on ink and pen, While Hughes, Mill, Mélley, Torrens, for the sake Of scribbling, cry ‘‘ our liberties at stake ;.” Or ‘‘ untax’d knowledge” Baines and Baxter call, Till half the benches echo to the baw). 220 NOTES. paper: for had not this been done, said PLiny, all society must have suf- fered, and the uses of civilized life been restricted in one of the most neces- sary articles therein applied ; ‘‘ chartze usu maxime humanitas vite constet.’? Lib. xiii., cap, xi. Ver. 215. Nor likely soon th excise to place again,| The impost on paper, which was removed some years before, and gave vent at once to a flood of cheap publications, making up in quantity what they wanted in merit. Every tax, said Gladstone, the British minister, is an evil, and therefore every man is pleased when he sees one removed. Yet is it certain that by this change the standard of taste has been lowered, and the morality of the press depraved. Am. Ep, VER, 217. Hughes,| Thos, Hughes, M.P. Wrote of.‘* Tom Brown,’’ and a ‘‘ White Horse”; whereby he proved himself abundantly qualified to guide the councils of this nation. Extended his inquiries into the subject of impregnation, and, in morals, was of the modern school. Ibid. 47://,] A profound writer, and able hand at settling the ‘* Unset- tled,” who has gone to the very bottom of Political Economy. ‘+ Disserta- tions,”’ “ Discoveries,” ‘‘ Positivism,” ‘‘ Utilitarianism,” ‘‘ Representativ- ism,” with an ‘* Essay on Liberty.” Showed how to balk nature, and, while indulging the vice, prevent the consequences of it; a disciple of Mal- thus, who had observed that the populace, like books, increased much more abundantly than the means of keeping them alive. Ibid. Ael//ey,] Not much known in either of his capacities, whether as Talker or Writer. Ibid. Zorvrens,] Wm. Torrens McCullagh, M.P., who, like his panta- loons, when at Trinity, where he was more Sedentary than Peripatetic, has often been seated and unseated, has written, besides other things, &c., &c, VER. 219, Baines] Moppupoyévnros. I wonder can one say MeAayévnras, born in the black ; that is, in the ink, The father of Mr. Baines was, first, 4* 82 THE OBLIVIAD. Book I. Yet e’en in this our final hopes are cast, The rags and remnants cannot always last ; NOTES. printer’s devil, and, afterwards, printer himself, as is the son, who is like- wise author, spinner of prose, both ‘Cotton and Woollen.” A radical, who would overthrow all foundations, and leave us without law, literature, or church, Ibid, Baxter] William Edward, merchant of Dundee, who reso- lutely refused to accept of Office, until assured that he could do so on ‘economical’? principles, Author of ‘Impressions, Central and South- ern,” and of ‘* America and the Americans ;” found his way to the * Tagus and Tiber,” and, at last, to the Thames, ; VER, 222. Therags and remnants cannot always last ;| Necessity is the mother of invention. When Ptolemy, before free trade was established, prohibited, as the Reader knows, the exportation of papyrus, lest Pergamus should have a library equal to that of Alexandria, King Eumenes transcribed his books on skins, thence called parchment, after the name of the city. In this way, should the supply of paper fail entirely, so that none shall be left for any use or necessity whatever, I would suggest that criticks and other scribblers be flayed, and their hides dressed ; that, having destroyed so many reams, they should be enforced, by retributjve justice, to furnish an equiva- lent. Cruikshank, the physician, made very good candles from human fat, and sugar from diabetic urine; Macartney, the anatomist, in like manner, used to shew the students specimens of leather made with skin of the subjects; none of it strong enough for sole-leather, but very good for uppers ; and, some, from the skins of ladies, delicate as kid, properly dressed and curried, suitable for gloves: which being practicable, why should it shock any one, if parchment, a finer article than common sheep or calf, be provided from the same material ; especially if the victim should be flayed, satirically, and suffered to live afterwards, as beeves in Abyssinia, from which the natives are said to cut off a collop, and then, with admirable economy, permit the place to grow again, until ready for the knife, as before: s¢ Kill half a cow, and send the rest to grass,” PETER PINDAR, In fact, against the proverb, you can at once eat your cake, or your calf, and have it. Book I. THE OBLIVIAD. 83 The plunder’d mummy is already bare, And ev’ry beggar brat has sent his share, While shiv’ring Codrus so supplies the press, 225 Left scarce enough to hide his nakedness ; Stretch’d on the straw, hard fate! from night to dawn, And his famed blanket sent at last to pawn. Some good conceal’d, ’tis true, may thus be sent, And folly found us with a wise intent ; 230 This taciturnity to free from pain, And copious defecate the costive brain. NOTES. VER. 223. The plunder’d mummy] We read frequently in the Papers of cargoes of rags imported iyto this country and England from Egypt, taken, as our Author asserts, from the mummies, which were swathed with webs of linen and cotton, Am. ED. VER. 230. folly found us with a wise intent ;| Here is more of it; how can fod/y, in any sense, he wise ? Ep. ATH. VER. 231. taciturnity] The national distemper, which appeared so inveterate in the famous Spectator, who has informed us, that he had not spoken three sentences together in his whole life; as « natural conse- quence to which, he must have died of an obstipation, had he not given a passage to his thoughts in this vicarious way, and allowed them to pass off, as in dropsical cases, through a quill. The quill was formerly in use, but now we use a silver canzula, as also a steel pen, Ibid. The taciturnity of the English is perhaps constitutional, though IMITATIONS, “VER. 228. his famed blanket, &c.] “¢de lodice paranda Attonite.” Juv. Sat. vii, v. 66. As Juvenal mentions, in another place, the Bed of Codrus, I take it as most likely that when he speaks of a poet solicitous about a Blanket, he means Codrus again, whose poverty was so great as to occasion a proverb, Codro pauperior. 84 THE OBLIVIAD. Book I. Not blame but pity thence to weak mankind, If scribbling but a malady of mind ; On wings unseen the subtile mischief brought, 235 Or, like the itch itself, by contact caught ; Whence in the skull a tympany accurst, When other way is none but write or burst. NOTES. a Scotch historian has malicionsly ascribed it to thereserve forced upon them by the Normans; which may be, or may not be, At all events, we in this country, in throwing off the yoke, threw off all reserve along with it. Am. Ep, VER. 232. defecate the costive brain.| ‘‘ This I aimed at,” said BurTon, ‘‘ vel ut lenirem animum scribendo, to ease my mind by writing, for I had gravidum cor, foetum caput, a kind of ,imposthume in my head, which I was very desirous to be unladen of, and could imagine no fitter evacuation than this.’? Anatomy of Melancholy, To the Reader, VER. 237. Whence in the skull a tympany, &c.] Paracentesis Capitis has been attempted, but only with the design of disengaging water from the head; whether, in the same manner, words, that is to say, wind, could be let off, remains doubtful: since the secretion of water is slow and gradual, but this of words most abundant, and certain to be renewed as fast as it flows. A disease, therefore, to be alleviated, and not to be cured, some vent might be fixed in the vertex, and the peccant air permitted to escape upwards, as flatus downwards, with crepitus, or without : for so in modern hats, an apperture for ventilation is made in the crown, with a grating over it, for protection, If the operation be thought dangerous, let it be borne in mind that it is designed only for d/ockheads. However, extremis malis extrema remedia, as Jupiter himself discovered, when he felt that intolera- ble fulness in his head. ‘Cut my skull open,” said he to Vulcan, ‘ with an axe.” ‘*Do you think me out of my senses?” replied the other. IMITATIONS. VER. 236. Or, dshe the itch itself, &c.] . ‘ Dedit hanc contagio labem, Et dabit in plures; sicut grex totus in agris Unius scabie cadit, et porrigine porci.” Juv. Sat. ii, v. 64, Book I. THE OBLIVIAD. 85 But oft on earth, as delegate to seize And scourge mankind, has spread some wild Disease. 240 In Athens first with thirst intense it came, And blood-red rancour through the prostrate frame ; The eye, the tongue, inflamed, the fauces sore, And, for the fetid breath, no critick’s more ; Then watchfulness began, or, if this past, 245 A looseness from below destroy’d at last: E’en authors thus, when studious vigils fail, Run in a waste of words, and void a tale. NOTES. ** Strike,” said he, like a man, Sapsév. And, behold, at the blow, Mi- nerva, all armed, issued at the wound. ‘A serious matter,” cried Vulcan ; ‘nothing less than a young lady on the brain.’? But, mark the moral : the pains of meditation at length ceased when Wisdom had decided; but for the throes of Folly, as they are more dull, so do they recur incessant- ly, and, as in uterine disease, are without real issue. Ibid. in the skull a tympany]| Tympany 1s « disease of the abdomen, when being distended, it sounds like a drum, Which, since our capacities of skull are not capable of enlargement, like this other cavity, where is the analogy ? Ep. ATH, VER. 239. But oft on earth, as delegate to seize And scourge mankind, has spread some wild Disease.] Some Physicians are of opinion that all epidemics are but varieties of the same ; the porrigo and scabies, as in the penultimate note, the ¢izea cap. tis, plague, cacoethes seribendi, influenza, &c. Ver. 241. l2 Athens first, &c.] The famous Plague, as described by Thucydides, which broke out in the second year of the Peloponnesian War, with such symptoms as those in the text. Ver. 244. And, for the fetid breath, no critick’s more ;] A fling at us. Ep. ATH. VER. 248. void a tale.} ‘*Nétre Historien Dupleix, Auteur féecond, presentant un de ses Livres aM. le Duc d’Espernon, ce Seigneur lui fit d’abord grand accuéil; puis se tournant tout d’un coup vers le Nonce du Pape qui étoit en sa compagnie, 86 THE OBLIVIAD. Book I. In Florence next, in all its fury sent, As for man’s sins God gave the punishment, 250 In vain the kennels cleansed, the dung-pits swept, And free from all contagious paper kept, Big as a book of Ainsworth boils prevail, And all the foul infection fills the gale. In London, later, men fell down in fits, 255 And, just like desp’rate scribblers, lost their wits ; Some swoon’d outright, some felt a slow decay, Or died much musing, in the native way. NOTES. lui dit : Cape de di, Monsieur, cet Auteur a un flux enragé ; il chie un Livre toutes les Lunes. Le Nonce qui n’entendoit pas trop bien le Frangois, pre- nant la chose sérieusement, s’écrioit de toutes ses forces, pour faire hon- neur 4 Dupleix: O/ 2 gran virtuoso, O! le gran virtuoso.” VIGNEUL-MARVILLE, Mélanges, v. i., p. 189. VER. 249. Lv Florence next, &c.] Read in the Decameron the Intro- duction, addressed to the Ladies, which contains an ampler account of this most terrible epidemic, as it broke out in Florence, in 1348. VER. 253. Ainsworth] Sometimes Novelist, sometimes Publisher, always Author, he wrote, with many more of the same sort, Jack Sheppard, the most popular and immoral of his works: for, like other men of great genius, he has sometimes risen above himself. _ Ver, 255. J London, later, &c.| These particulars I have from the minute and veracious Dr For, who writes entirely from actual observation, and rejects all uncertain reports. ‘‘ We had no such thing,’ says he, ‘*as printed newspapers in those days,” (golden age!) ‘‘ to spread rumours and reports of things, and to improve them by the invention of man, as I have lived to see practised since,”— Hist. of Plague. IMITATIONS. VER. 250, 4s for man’s sins, &c.] Literally from Boccaccio: ‘*O per le nostre inique opere, da giusta ira di Dio a nostra correzione man- data sopra i mortali,”’ Book I. THE OBLIVIAD. 87 A pit (how small compared !) dug fathoms deep, Close by old Hounditch entrance, took the heap. 260 Awhile thus raged with epidemick strength, Till, satiate of the slain, it ceased at length ; Then sometimes sporadic but sought its prey, Or pass’d forever from the face of day. Not so this fell complaint ; a sickly sight, 265 Attack’d from year to year, its victims write. (The pest at Troy ‘mid mules said first to pass, But this chief fatal to the full-bred ass.) On man the cholera, then filthy hogs, Next seized the geese, and last of all the dogs; 270 NOTES. VER. 259. A pit (how small compared !)| When the Cholera reappeared in London, some score of years since, it confined itself almost exclusively to the situation of the vast sarcophagus into which those who died of the plague were thrown two hundred years before, Am. Eb. VER. 263. sforadic] A term used by Physicians to signify occasional, or scattered, cases: the use of which technical phrase, together with one or two others, has led to the conjecture, in the uncertainty as to the Author of this Poem, that he might have been a Medical Practitioner, like Garth, who wrote the Dispensary, a work of great wit, and quite in the manner of the Obliviad ; but, in the present day, when every one knows something of everything, and nothing of anything, such an inference can not thence be drawn; besides that this word is made use of also by the Geographers, who write of the Sporades, from omeipw, spargo, those islands which are scat- tered through the Aigean, as they do of the neighbouring Cyclades, xdsAos, for the opposite reason, that they are collected in a circle, Moreover, the “Diary of a Physician’’ is so thoroughly srofessiona/, that it imposed on every one. Am. Ep. IMITATIONS. Ver. 267. (The pest at Troy ’mid mules said first to pass,)] Odpiias piv mpdroy émpyxero. Inrap. Lib, i. v. 50. 88 THE OBLIVIAD. Book I. This likewise pass’d, when but some months endured, And but the Influenza all are cured. A thin secretion still from head and nose, As in this other ill of verse and prose ; A dozen handkerchiefs to take the stuff, 275 A dozen sheets of paper scarce enough ; While heat, nor fever, crisis, comes, but thus, From noon to night, a waste pituitous. Rhyme, doze, or scribble, as ascends the fit, Hawk, hem, and snuffle, clear the throat and spit; 280 Morose or melancholy, stupid lie, And, head on hand, you neither live nor die. NOTES. VER. 269. then filthy hogs,| Among which, also, chiefly about London, and in Middlesex generally, as I now write, the foot and mouth disease is raging ; having extended to these creatures from that species of the mam- malia under which are classed Reviewers and Hirelings of Athenzeums, and known commonly as the and-to-mouth malady, though by them dignified as the morbus literatorum, For a description of the manner in which disease may be transferred from a lower to a higher breed of animals, see JENNER’S Inquiry, 4to. London, 1798. VER. 270. Next seized the geese,| This, I fear, is an error of the Au- thor, for the symptoms, except the cramp, are not of the cholera, but of another epidemic: ‘* The poultry higglers and geese feeders in Surrey are sustaining great loss by the outbreak of a disease not hitherto known in poultry yards, The geese are attacked asif by a cramp, and roll and plunge about in giddiness, and within an hour of being attacked by the disease, die in apparent convulsions. The old brood geese escape the disease.’? NEWSPAPER, Am. Ep. VER. 273. from head and nose,] In the base of the skull is a depression, into which collect both products of the brain, as well the p/¢ita as the ex- cretion of scribbling, which are thence conducted downwards, through cer- tain foramina, into the xares, to be therefrom removed, in the manner described in the text. GALEN,, de Usu Partium, lib. ix., cap. 1. Book I. THE OBLIVIAD. 89 In the far East, ’tis said, these griefs begin, Obscure of nature, cause, and origin, NOTES. VER. 282. you neither live nor die.) In this correlation of complaints, it can not be denied that the Author, in pursuit of the pleasant, disregarded the delicate, as too frequent among the Satirists, Garth, Swift, Pope ; among whom Young is the only exception, the wittiest of all, and the most decent ; the objection against whom, however, is, that he rather raised admiration of his wit, than detestation of the offences he satirised. In the Art of Sinking in Poetry is a passage by Arbuthnot, not unlike this of our Author, in which the images are as gross, and which yet have never been objected to. ‘*I have known a man thoughtful, melancholy, and raving for divers days, who forthwith grew wonderfully easy, lightsome and cheerful, upon a discharge of the peccant humour, in exceeding purulent Metre,” Am. Ep. Ibid. you neither live nor die.) Another! How can we, at once, be neither among the living nor dead? And, indeed, dying itself is only liv- ing ; for as long as a man is not dead, he is, logically, alive. Ep, ATH. Ver. 283. x the far East, 'tis said, these griefs begin, Obscure of nature, cause, and origin, Whence some foul Demon bade them first depart, With Tales, and Gothic all belied in Art.] Mother of maladies, all the great pests have come from the East: that of Athens, which Thucydides erroneously supposed to have begun among the ‘blameless Ethiopians”; that of Florence, which Boccaccio derives from the Levant ; with many others, including Letters, carried by Cadmus from Phoenicia; the Plague, Small-Pox, and Cholera, which broke out at Jessore in Bengal, in the year 1819. Nor can there be any question that Gothic Architecture, first called by the Italians, in contempt, La Maniera Gotica, was in reality conveyed thence, and got among the Saracens by the Chris- tians, among whom it assumed a variety of shapes, and displayed many new symptoms; while, as to this other contagion, Huet, Eveque D’Avranche, gives the true origin of it: ‘‘ Not in Provincia Romana,” says he, **nor yet in Spain, are we to trace the beginnings of those diverting compositions called Romances; but among the nations of the East, Arabs, Egyptians, Persians, and Syrians, whose effeminate and fanciful turn of mind particu- larly adapts them to this arbitrary species of fiction, in which they take de- light to a degree scarce to be credited; as the Scotch are said to do, in scratching themselves, for the itch, 90 THE OBLIVIAD. Book I. Whence some foul Demon bade them first depart, 285 With Tales, and Gothic all belied in Art. "Twas there Romance, invet’rate ill, took birth, The longest and the worst which yet on earth ; In meretricious shape which seen advance, Alluring child of Sin and Ignorance. 290 With wanton step and an affected mien, Lewd in each look, she swims along the green ; From hour to hour transforms the scarlet dress That ill-contrived to hide her nastiness ; At virtue stares, as her’s the just defence, 295 And puts to blush by dint of impudence. With scraps of knowledge sometimes vain to teach ; Of metaphors a maze, and florid speech ; Then laughs, the first, at such mistakes as these, Her art, you know, is not to preach, but please. 300 NOTES. Ibid. Ju the far East, tis said, these griefs begin,| ‘+ The origin of Learning is the East, and of Error too,” said Walpole, in a manuscript note on Bayle, voc, Brachmans.—See PHILOBIBLION, Philes, New-York, 1862. . _ From the Zas¢, said PETRONIUS, was carried into Greece a feeble and effeminate style of writing ; a sort of windy and unrestrained loquacity, that spread like a A/ague among the youth; all of whom, he adds, fed upon the same pap, died before the period of maturity: ‘‘ Nuper ventosa isthzec et enormis loquacitas Athenas ex Asia commigravit, animosque juvenum ad magna surgentes veluti pestilenti quodam sidere adflavit, simulque corrupta eloquentize regula stetit, et obmutuit.—Ac ne carmen quidem sani coloris enituit : sed omnia quasi eodem cibo pasta, non potuerunt usque ad senectu- tem canescere,’’"—Satyr. cap, ii. Excud, Johan. Merc. M. DC. XXIX. Petronius lived among what he complained of, and made of his work a sort of novel, the earliest of the kind in the Latin tongue. VER. 300. not to preach, but please.| Asif one could not preach and please, at the same time! so that, Aereafter, we must not say, Such-a-one is a ‘pleasing preacher.’ Ep, ATH. Book I. THE OBLIVIAD. gI With her the youth, too soon delighted, strays, *Mid painted meads, and through enchanted ways ; Afar where Fancy feign’d some soft retreat, And shades protect them from the noontide heat ; Till, lost in dalliance, all the day is spent, 305 And fatal through the vein the venom sent. When Julius died, as in a dismal shroud, Earth long lay wrapt in one extended cloud ; NOTES. VER. 307. When Fulius died, &c.] Such were the prodigies which, as de- scribed by Plutarch, disclosed to Mankind the displeasure of the Gods, And as Nature repeats herself, so does she also in her irregularities ; foras I now write, on the 21st day of June, the longest of the year, a portentous and most unseasonable gloom overhangs the Capital, not a strawberry ripe, and the harvest doubtful ; all on account, as I fear, of the banishment of Com- mon Sense from amongst us, and the murder of Taste, or possibly a dinner to Charles Dickens. These phenomena fix the year, and even month, in which this work was written; which, haply, I might be able to indicate, did I not rather wish to leave the matter to the criticks, in future ages ; that is, on the revival of letters, when the present age of Goths, Vandals, Reviewers, and Romances, has passed; which criticks, otherwise, the Scaligers and Bentleys yet to IMITATIONS. VER. 307. When Fulius died, &c.] The Reader will have noticed, that, regardful only of strict truth, I have followed the historian, instead of the Poet, whom he may examine in that famous passage beginning and ending thus : 6¢Tlle etiam extincto miseratus Cesare Romam ; Cum caput obscura nitidum ferrugine texit, Impiaque eeternam timuerunt seecula noctem, Non alias coelo ceciderunt plura sereno, Fulgura, nec diri toties arsere cometz.” Georg, Lib, i. v. 466. For so-also he will have observed that, following Thucydides, I have avoided the poetical describers of the plague at Athens, as Lucretius, and others, For the poets are 1otorious liars, and to be rejected in all matters of fact. 92 THE OBLIVIAD. Book I. Pale was the sun, and pale a comet threw {310 His beam towards earth, as when the Plague was new; In sickly tracts once smiling plains appear, Unripe the fruit, and terror ends the year. When rose Romance, lo! what portents begun; As once to Pentheus, shines a double Sun; Six moons at least make cold the midnight air, 315 As many comets shake their horrid hair ; NOTES. come, would be grieved to lose an opportunity of showing their learning and ingenuity, as so many have done hitherto in the edition of the other Classics, It is curious; but the same phenomenon occurred in the time of DRYDEN, who, speaking of the dulness and ‘ perpetual dearth of wit” among scrib- blers then prevailing, ends with the following: ‘* They are like fruits of the earth in this unnatural season ; the corn which held up its head, is spoiled with rankness ; but the greater part of the harvest is laid along, and little of good income and wholesome nourishment is received into the barns.” On the “ Origin of Satire.” VER. 310. as when the Plague was new ;] ‘‘In the first place, a blaz- ing star or comet appeared for several months before the plague, as there did the year after, another, a little before the great fire; the old women, and the pklegmatic hypochondriac part of the other sex, whom I could almost call old women too, remarked, especially afterward, though not till both those judgments were over, that those two comets passed directly over the City, and so very near the houses, that it was plain they imported some- thing peculiar to the City alone.” DE Fok, History of the Plague. VER. 315. Six moons at least make cold the midnight air,|’ Bacon re- marks, in the Novum Organon, that the moonbeams have not a property of heat, like those of the sun, but rather of cold, on which account much in favour with the poets, IMITATIONS. VER, 314. As once to Pentheus, &c.] Kal phy dpgv wor S00 pey hAlous Bond. Eurip. Bac. v. 906, Book I. THE OBLIVIAD, 93 *Mid heat of summer spreads a waste of snows, In depth of winter blooms again the rose ; Births premature, as to bad writers, come, The mute now speak, and ali the rest are dumb ; 320 Man mingled, monstrous, is both good and bad, Grave, merry, in one instant, sane and mad; Time stands stock still, ’gainst Nature’s gen’ral laws, Or hurries headlong on, while space withdraws. As stinking tapers show the spark at night, 325 But fade, or quench’d and hid away, with light ; NOTES. VER. 324. Or hurries headlong on, &¢.] Among those loose, or de- tached sheets, which I have already, more than once, had occasion to speak of, I find an unusual number of verses, which the Author had originally inserted in this place, or immediately after verse 316, Book i., but threw out, as too numerous, and running too much into’the historical. For this reason it is, that I have printed them in an APPENDIX, as serving to con- ~tinue the narrative, and make the matter complete; agreealle to the pur- pose of the Author himself. Am. Ep, IMITATIONS. VER. 316. shake their horrid hair ;] ‘*and from his horrid hair Shakes pestilence and war.” PaRADISE Lost, Book ii., v. 710. VER, 317. ’Alid heat of summer spreads a waste of snows,] This passage calls to mind Addison’s famous description of the Region of False Taste, in the SPECTATOR, No. 63. The ‘‘ waste of snows,” is from that couplet of Pope which ho avowed pleased his ear more than any other he had written: “*Lo! where Mezotis sleeps, and hardly flows The freezing Tanais through a waste of snows,” The expression ‘‘ waste of p/ains” occurs in the Dispensary, Canto iv. Am. Ep, 94 THE OBLIVIAD. Book I. So, when through air Cimmerian darkness grew, Shone first Romance, and with the dawn withdrew ; Her shameless face who now once more displays, And with the tallow lustre lights our days. 330 Coeval dread, with her the Goth rush’d forth, And emptied all his nursery of the North; Reversed each monument which taste had spread, And raised his own fantastic piles instead. Again can air breathe forth the baneful gloom, 335 Or hides Earth still such nations in her womb? NOTES. VER. 325. As stinking tapers show the spark at night, But fade, or quench’ d and hid away, with light ;} Unintelligible, in an age when gas is in universal use. But, in plain words, as candles are not stinking unless 4/owz out, how can they then show the spark? unless he means that spark which remains in the wick, which is not clear.—Hid away with light; so that light Aides it away. But, enough; were we to write a page, we could not expose the nonsense of this passage, Ep. ATH. VER. 327. when through air Cimmerian darkness grew,] Alluding to the Dark or Middle Ages, with which Romance was intro- duced, as acceptable to the ignorance, laziness, and corruption then pre- vailing universally. Cimmerian, a name given to certain deep caverns in the coast of Campania, where, according to the Poets, was the obscure entrance to the Lower Regions. Am, Ep. VER. 330. Jights our days,| Romance, according to this author, must be a powerful illuminator, for it exdightens our days,—Ep, ATH, The fatuity of that remark! Have you forgot the words of your own speech, reported verbatim, (for which see B. ii, v. 121, of this Work,) dark of days? VER. 334. And raised his own fantastic piles, &c.] For although the Goths did not bring that style of building which bears their name with them from the North, where were never to be seen any monuments of such, yet did they accept, become the protectors of it, and, by adopting, make it their own, Book I. THE OBLIVIAD. * 95 For others this, nor hither such need roam, Our Goth and gloom spontaneous things at home ; Greece, in her arts, here Rome again o’errun, Where thickest fumes from Thames conceal the sun. 340 NOTES. VER. 338. Our Goth and gloom, &c.] I forget, (for, like Montaigne, I must complain of a bad memory,) whether it is Allison or "Macaulay who has remarked, that those Writers who had asked whether some race of Bar- barians were ever likely to overrun and darken the Civilized Nations, forgot that Society itself might generate and nourish such. And without wishing to cause any undue alarm or uneasiness, I will venture to suggest to those in Authority, that we at this moment may possibly be reposing in a false security; and that the regions of Wapping, Billingsgate, and St. Giles’s, but particularly those obscure purlieus in the neighbourhood of Wellington Street and the Strand, may hide within them, as ma sink, a breed of Vandals, ready to rise and destroy all that Civilization had established, in the long course of so many hundred years. You think me jesting? Never was man more mistaken; never one more serious than I am, have been, and intend to be, through this entire Work, note and text. The Goth and Vandal are upon us, and shake them off we cannot, The novel, the metrical romance, have once more overrun the nations; overturned that civilization which Greece and Rome had intro- duced ; and we are subjected to false taste, beyond our power to be free. The general mind is enfeebled; energy of thought lost to us, and no people so much sunk in effeminacy have ever yet, without a long series of years, and a mighty revolution, recovered that manliness they had before, The mind, like the mould, must long lie fallow. We are now emphatically without a man of genius. Men feel the degradation ; denounce the barba- rian, and think they can eject him at will ; but the will they want, and the force with it. Beyond the ability of genius, it is beyond the ability of learning, to effect the change; the voice cannot be heard ; the deafening steam-press.is in action ; there is no publisher, no public. Dickens, Dixon, Browning, have their hoofs upon our necks; the Athenzeum presses us down ; the magazine is before us, asa wall. We make an appeal, in vain, to our ancestors; the spirit which animated them is gone: they are dead ; and the language which they spoke is rapidly becoming so, Thought, wis- dom, dialectic, wit; elegance, nature, fluency in verse and in prose; in- struction; good sense, the basis of all excellence, (to say nothing of mora- lity, that I may avoid an invidious topic ;) a discerning few: these, with 96° THE OBLIVIAD. Book I. As plants oft seen in some dark vault, e’en thus Romance, like them, rank, bulky, poisonous ; A weed which, fruitless, widely spread o’er earth, Of wit nutritious makes this gen’ral dearth ; Prolific most where lands neglected ran, 345 And saved all labour to the husbandman. NOTES. erudition, were once present in England; and I am ready to find that sage a place out of Oblivion who can tell me when they are likely to be united there again, ‘©O seclum insipiens et inficetum!” CatuL, Car. xliii., v. 8. Ibid. Goth and gloom, &c.| A London fog is such as a foreigner can scarce form an idea of, It hides the sun, obscures the ways, penetrates the houses, and produces all the effects of a total eclipse. It spreads so wide, that once, when I took rail to escape it, I was compelled to go far into War- wickshire, in the centre of the Island, where Shakespeare and light dawned together upon me. The description, from Diodorus, which, at school, I had read in the Greek Reader, I found strictly applicable in the present time ; the sun, said he, is invisible through the whole day, 8° jyépas Ans. Am. Eb. VER, 341. As plants oft seen in some dark vault, een thus Romance, like them, rank, bulky, poisonous ;| Many vegetables, as potatoes, for example, if left in an obscure vault, send up a bulky stalk, and produce a bulb not eatable. The influence of the sun on vegetation, and even on animal life, is so great, that physiologists are in- clined to consider it as entering into the essence of the vital principle, and even to be identical with it. So that the Author not inaptly compares the growth of books with insufficient light of knowledge to that of vegetables shut out from day-light. Am. Ep. VER. 345. Prolific most where lands neglected ran,| It is curious to ob- serve that where lands are allowed to lie fallow, the whole surface soon shoots up into a wilderness of weeds, which the cattle will not touch, unless it be an ass, and among which many flowers display themselves, gaudy in colour, and devoid of odour, Another, and not inappropriate, illustration of our Author. Am, Ep. Book I. THE OBLIVIAD. 97 Alone the novelist no care requires, Spontaneous barrenness the tale inspires ; Three volumes in three weeks, the sheets display Whole fields of Sala saved in half a day. 350 Fatigue of thought, nor serious search of truth, , The link of circumstance drags on the youth, In haste to find, when scarce the book begun, What artful hid, and if the maid undone. NOTES. VER. 354. What artful hid, and if the maid undone.) A sufficient ex- ample of this kind of skill may be found in one of the oldest and most cele- brated of the Greek romances, which opens with the ‘‘ endangered chastity ’”’ of the heroine Chariclea, for which a battle had just been fought, and which now again being placed in imminent hazard, at the hands of pirates, the reader is most anxious to be told of, but which it does not answer the pur- pose of the author just then to tell him. Ariosto, in his humorous way, has carried this art, which is that of suspense, to the highest perfection, and never is in more glee than when he trifles with the impatience of the reader. “ La vergine a fatica gli rispose, Spesso interrotta da singhiozzt ardenti: Le lacrime scendean tra gigli e rose Gia per le guance e per li vestimenti: Pur alcun poco tanto si compose, Che venia seguitando i suoi lamenti: Ma chi a buon grado quest ’istoria ascolta Diami riposo, e torni un’ altra volta.” OLaNnDo Furioso, Cant. xii., 94. Essay’d the virgin then a faint reply; But scarce the word began than broke the sigh ; While from o’erflowing founts twin streamlets led, Coursed her fair cheek, and o’er her bosom spread; Till finding some short respite to her pain, She fain would speak, but only wept again.— But now much wearied, all this length of rhyme Who likes may hear me end some other time. Am. Ep. Ibid. ‘* We do not like, as a rule, the principle of giving our readers the end of a novel before they have begun it.”—ATHEN£uM. Not wishing to ruin it quite, by letting the cat out of the bag. 5 98 THE OBLIVIAD. Book I. ’Tis found, impatient to renew delight, 355 Fresh tales infix the morbid appetite ; Of sober history infuse distaste, Reflection wean, and give the mind to waste: Meanwhile, precocious, with unwonted fire To prurient joys inflamed the young desire ; 360 Imagined wounds at first constrain’d to bleed, Till follies come, and worse perhaps succeed. Is there who safety of his son regards, Of knowledge, virtue, asks the due rewards, Respect on earth, and peace when earth shall fail, 365 Or, these but trifles, deprecates the jail ; Let such ere yet the poisonous fruit entice, And serpent tongues are heard in Paradise, The novel from his home forever chase, And with the moral make serene the place ; 370 NOTES. Scott, inserting the Dedication of Waverley at the end of the volume, re- marked that, he had but put it in the proper place, since that class of Stu- dents he addressed, usually read the last page first ; undoing all the charm, by too hasty a desire to possess it. Madame Dacier, Des Causes de la Corruption du Goust, censures La Mothe, as taking pleasure only in the vulgar surprises of Romance, and as incapable of enjoying that finer art by which the interest is kept alive, al- though the result had been made known to us. What skill, said she, nust not that poet possess who attaches you to the narration, and surprises by circumstances the issue of which he had announced beforehand, with as lively an interest as if it had been entirely new. We are made to forget what we knew, she remarks, and are drawn along again by the chain of events ; so that the dexodement is as fresh after repeated reviews as at first: Unlike what so much fails us in the ordinary romance, of which it is a common thing to hear readers remark, that they have read it before, and want some- thing new. VER. 369. The novel from h's home forever chase, | All the civilized nations are opposed to Romances, as plunderers of time, perverters of taste, and pernicious to morals ; but to find a people who have . Book I. THE OBLIVIAD. 99 That British moral made our steps to guide, In prose and verse which once esteem’d our pride ; Or this, or with much modern learning stock it, And teach, from Fagin, how to pick a pocket. NOTES. prohibited them by special statute, I am compelled to go, I regret to say, to the very confines of the earth, where that most ancient people the Chinese will not allow of them, under any form or pretext. This the English will never consent to, as interfering with the liberty of the subject, who desires as much mischief to himself as possible, provided always it be done with his own hand. Our own country, there is no use in concealing it, is no better, in this respect, than England, where we now extend the rule to its utmost latitude, the greatest mischief to the greatest number. Am. Ep. VER. 371. That British moral made our steps to guide,] It is surprising, said Swift, speaking of the Spectator, to notice the effect of these Papers on the morals of this wicked town. — JOURNAL TO STELLA. But not only the Spectator ; the entire succession of those Works we call the British Essayists, are replete with knowledge of life, and advice how to conduct it. When to these we add the productions of about the same peri- od, in verse, praised by Voltaire under the name of mora/ ex vers, we have an unequaled body of ethics, calculated to inform, divert, and instruct us; neglected now through the desire of novelty, and to gratify an effeminate taste, by writings which, at best, serve only to dissipate our time, and leave us, (lucky could we always say so,) no worse than they found us. Am. Ep. VER. 374. teach, from Fagin, how to pick a pocket.) That Fagin téaches to pick a pocket, is true; but that is only the boys he zs teaching, and not boys in general, who are only told Zow the pocket is picked, which is another thing. Ep. ATH. Ibid. And teach, from Fagin, how to pick a pocket.| That well known passage, in which Dickens, with a fine concealed moral, strives to correct, in the old, the vice of filling the pockets, by teaching the young how to empty them, The Lord Chamberlain, however, could not see the matter in this light, and has interdicted ‘ Oliver Twist ” from the stage, as offering a contagious example ; which has brought upon him much censure, *‘ for so long as people 100 THE OBLIVIAD. Book I. have access to the book, where is the use of stopping the play?” In the expression of * * * *, the drunken Reviewer, it is but to stop with the spi- got, and let out at the bung. The Ordinary of Newgate lately declared that the chief cause of crime among the young was the reading of Novels, The following, taken from a Newspaper, is a common instance: “© A Precocious Youtu.—A lad of fifteen, named John McEachen, has just been tried at the Surrey Sessions for an offence directly traceable, to the influence of the boy-thief literature to which so often attention has been called; He was employed at Messrs. Smith and Sons’ hook-stall, at Sur- biton, and he stole about £25 from his masters, andran away. To account for his disappearance, he wrote an extraordinary letter to the manager of the stall, in which he made no secret of the robbery, but spoke of the folly of pursuit, as he was on the road to France. He meant to return the money in three months’ time, but meanwhile he wished to have no noise made about it, as he was a useful member of society. This letter was signed ‘Captain Claude,’ and at the end the manager was told to ‘ beware.’ The boy was pursued and captured at Portsmouth, where for a few days he had lived at the rate of £500 a year. Amidst the odd jumble of revolver, pocket-book, pawn-ticket, cigar-holder, &c., which were found at his lodgings, and which always constitute the ‘luggage’ of such boys, was, of course, a well-thumbed copy of ‘ Paul Clifford,’ and another novel of the same stamp, The lad, who was very impudent in the dock, was sentenced to three months’ impri- sonment, and four years in a reformatory.” (The Author of the ‘well- thumbed, I wonder has he been sent to the Reformatory.) But even boys still younger have been conducted to ruin in this way; upon which I find some very instructive remarks in the following, which, although out of place, and occupying a disproportionate share of room, I am tempted to introduce, as a sort of Appendix to this First Book. , * THIEVES’ LITERATURE.—Some time ago the unlovely chronicles of the Police Court recorded a case of peculiarly significant character, The theft of a. pair of boots disclosed the existence of a robber band composed of five little boys, acting under the orders of a-captain whose years of iniquity were not quite fourteen. Every member of the band bore an heroi¢ name. There was a Blueskin of nine, a Jack Sheppard of twelve, a Jonathan Wild of eleven, a Dick Turpin of the same formidable age, and » Sixteen-string Jack, whose years were fewer by three than the garter-strings of his great pre- decessor. The depredations of the confederacy were not of a serious cha- racter, Sometimes Wild would sneak away with a pair of boots; Turpin sometimes would vanish a piece of beef from the butcher’s open stall ; but exploits more serivus than these were not charged against either. Never- Book I. THE OBLIVIAD. rol theless, the robbers made it clear at the police-court, whete they were ar- raigned to answer for their crimes, that they had done their best to attain to an heroic ideal, and, conscious of that merit, were enraged when the ma- gistrate showed a disposition to treat them like mere pilferers. He would have sentenced them to a few weeks’ imprisonment, but they spurned the degrading mercy, shouting, ‘Give us three years! We wants three years! We've a right to three years !’” ‘¢ Few who read that little story in the newspapers—five or six years since —could have put it aside without some reflection upon the things which it might signify. What it suggested was, that since that band of foolish boys was obviously inspired by the names which greatly illustrate the literature of crime, there must have been some revival of letters in the slums of Lon- don. That this was really the case we have since abundant reason to know. Over-and-over again boys of various grade in life, from the lowest to that which is *‘ quite respectable,” have been arrested for committing crimes the provocation to which had been found in their pockets, in the shape of some spicy bit of gallows literature. Only the other day a lad of decent parent- age and fair breeding commenced a career of house-breaking under the in- spiration of a work called *‘ The Art of Burglary ;”? and when a dullard of twenty was lately hanged for killing a child who had never offended him, the murderer said he had been wrought up to that deed by the recollection of a certain picture of assassination in the ‘* ///ustrated Police News.” “© The Illustrated Police News” is a hideous production, but a very little inquiry shows that there are many publications infinitely more pernicious. The sensational novelists who have arisen in our day to move the heart with murder, to inflame it with arson, to tickle it with intrigue, are not quite the luxuries which Mr, Mudie probably supposes them to be. The tastes they cultivate are not confined to the educated and the rich; they flower in the garret of the sempstress, and are shared by the grocer’s young man as well as by the guardsman, And as the demand is, so is the supply. Miss Brad- don is mistaken, Ouida is in error, if she supposes that those dear delight- ful naughty heroines with glorious hair, the heroes who charm us with the downright honest proportions of a leg, are hers alone, and that nobody else knows how to combine them in pretty provoking complications of intrigue. Both these ladies have many rivals in a lower rank of life who are as daring, as clever in their way, and, what is more, who seem to be as popular as themselves, ‘¢ But it is not this department of popular literature which concerns us at present, though, according to our views of life, it is an infinitely more im- portant one than that which is composed of ‘* novels now ready at all the libraries.” 7 ey are read by people who are in some degree informed, and are yery much under the restraints of social order; besides, they do hear a 102 THE OBLIVIAD. Book I.. voice now and then protesting against the loose and dissipating trash which flows from the most successful novelists of the day, whereas those other compositions are read by tens of thousands of ignorant men and women whom no critic condescends to put right. But even these stories are less pernicious than a still lower order of fictions—the romances written for and exclusively read by boys and girls of the lower classes. The titles of these publications are of themselves so significant that it may be as well to set down a few of them. Among a filthy heap of ‘* penny numbers” now before us, we find, ‘‘ Claude Duval, the Dashing Highway- man ;” ‘* Wild Will, or the Pirates of the Thames;” ‘* Rose Mortimer, or the Ballet Girl’s Revenge ; being the Account of a Virtuous Heroine in Humble Life, the Mystery of her Birth, her Struggles for Bread, her Firm- ness in Temptation, &c.;”? “‘Red Ralph, or the Daughters of Night ;”’ ‘* The Wild Boys of London ;’” ‘* The Wild Boys of Paris, or the Mysteries of the Vaults of Death; ’” ‘‘ The Work Girls of London ;” ‘* The Dashing Girls of London ;” ‘* Black Rollo, the Pirate King, or the Dark Woman of the Deep;” ‘‘ Black Bess, or the Knight of the Road;” ‘* The Boy Detective, or the Crimes of London;” ‘‘Red Wolf the Pirate;” ‘* The Dance of Death, or the Hangman’s Plot;” ‘‘ Dare-Devil Dick ;” ‘* The Boy King of Smugglers; *’ ‘‘ The Shadowless Rider ;”—with a page of names more that it is in some sort criminal to repeat. Most of these things, as they are not to be mentioned, so are they not to be read: however, the following, selected from a Newspaper, it may be excusable to insert : ‘© Stephen Grantham reappears, and his present position is thus described : —He had been thwarted, and defeated at every turn, mocked at, battled with and beaten, and in every way held at bay. He had loved the Lady Isabelle Hewitt, and then George Meredith crossed his path. He had sought to wed the beautiful Duchess, and then Ralph Montreal checked him ; he had usurped the title, and held possession of the Wintermerle estate for so long, that he had begun to feel quite secure, and then the boy, Arthur Grattan, rose like a phantom from the blast to confront and overthrow him. He was chieftain of a league, all-powerful until there had sprung up an- other, whose actions were all against his brethren, and now, like a rat, he was driven into acorner. But, like a rat, with venom in his fangs, he was prepared to fight ; he would stake all now on the‘hazard of a throw, and if he lost, so much the worse for the world. ‘¢ However, one satisfaction remains to him. A bank is to break next day, and Mr. Hewitt is to be ruined. ‘Good!’ says Grantham, when he gets this information, ‘ {sabelle will be a poor and portionless girl; I shall find her less obdurate then. But his enjoyment of this reflection is but momentary. His enemy, Ralph Montreal, appears and challenges him on Book I. THE OBLIVIAD. 103 account of an abduction, Mr, Grantham refuses, alleging that the lady was ‘willing enough.’ Then Ralph Montreal :— *** Coward ! liar ! scoundrel! dastard ! rascal! See, I spit at you, kick, strike, and spurn you! And as I treat you now, so will I treat you the first time we ever meet in public!’ Each word was accompanied by a blow or a kick, and as he finished, Ralph spat in Grantham’s face, and spurned him with his hand. A hoarse cry, like the shriek of a hyena broke from Grantham’s lips, and he leaped upon his enemy. Ralph met him without flinching, struck him to the earth by dealing him one heavy and well-directed blow, then said, ‘St. James'’s-park, at midnight. Bring a second, and what weapons you choose. Meet me, or I will give you the treatment of a dog before the world.’ ‘St. James’s-park, at midnight,’ said Grantham, as he rose, ‘I shall be there.’ “ Ralph left the room, laughing at the demon he had roused, defying in his heart the revengeful devil breathing in the other’s fiery eye and husky voice, ‘Grantham now rings for a murderer. Savage Mike appears, and being told that Montreal is to be cut to pieces—hacked inch from inch, unac- countably declines. Grantham leaped to his feet; his eyes were glazing, and he raised his hand. ‘Slam!’ he said,. with hot ferocity, ‘have I fallen so low that you—my hireling, the wretched felon I have paid to do my work—shall now turn against me in rebellion? Dog! do this. Dare to disobey me, and I will have you torn to shreds, rent piecemeal, and your fragments scattered to the winds. Hound! dare to defy me for an instant, and that instant is your last.’ ‘¢ But Savage Mike holds out. For it seems that, a brute as he is, there is one sound spot beneath the blackness of his heart. He fondly, passion- ately loves the lady he is not married to; and he is aware that Grantham has designs upon her, which designs are stated explicitly and in detail. ‘Now,’ says the injured man, ‘do you wonder why I defy you?’ ‘Pshaw!’ says Grantham; and proceeded to explain, in the shortest and plainest words in English language, that the lady had struck his fancy, and that he is liberal in money matters :—&c., &c.” ‘« Enough,” says the writer of this Article, ‘‘ Of the Wild Boys of Lon- don ;” * we need not follow Mr. Grantham further in his pursuit of blood and beauty, we have no space to spare; the samples we have ventured to take from one of these romances might be matched from half-a-dozen. Some are even worse. What can be done to suppress them? The mis- chief they do must be enormous. Surely they come under the ban of the law.—”’ It is the defence of this class of writers, that they describe ‘life as it is,” which is the highest praise an author can aspire to, Nothing need be 104. THE OBLIVIAD. Book I. concealed ; for as to those who are incorrigibly depraved, they cannot be made worse; and, as to the others, in whom the imagination is not yet corrupt, we know from the particulars preserved to us of the State of Inno- ~ cence, that in them is-no sense of shame, which arises only from guilt ; so that, as there is no shock to delicacy in either instance, no injury can be done, while knowledge is extended, which is the great purpose. In which view, the Priapus of Petronius may be read equally with the De Officiis of Tully, (pronounced the noblest present ever made by parent to his son,) and the ‘*‘ Spiritual Wives” of Dixon with the Spectator of Addison. This is ‘tan age of progress ;’? and as Petronius succeeded to Tully, in like man- ner has Dixon to Addison, GS” The last paragraph of this long note is, in part, from the Author. Am, Ep, END OF THE FIRST BOOK. THE OBLIVIAD. ——__———_ Book THE SECOND. THE OBLIVIAD. BOOK THE SECOND. ARGUMENT. YE Scabies, or Pest of Writing, resumed, the Poet straightway puts the question, how put a stop to it? He animadverts on the impertinence of Advisers, who, for the most part, seek contradictory courses ; and brings to view especially Criticks by profession, who, attending on the Infected, catch what they cannot cure, and so scratch, like therest. The College of Ignorance described, a Goth- tc pile, with its Library of Romances, Teachers, and Alumni ; where now the great annual Conference, from which, male or female, not onets absent. Her Heaviness, on a throne, invites near her, amid a roar of acclama- tion, her favourite Dixon, whom, first, fondly caressing, she bids deliver a Speech. His modesty on rising. When, after a pathetic exordium on Oblivion, he insists on the right to censure wrong, urges to stop Knowledge at all hazards, and to stand by. her Mightiness ; (applause) shews that, while Science is limited, Ignorance ts un- bounded, advises to follow the fashion of the hour, and counts how many Fools there are in England. But, above all, insists on Morality; dwells on the degrees of decorum, 108 ARGUMENT. amid much cheering ; recommends to sue for damages ; gives some admirable advice on the virtues, especially of Malignity and Defamation ; instructs to praise when paid, and to revile when not; bids stab with pen, and poison with ink, should any slight their authority; and then, after a variety of precepts, explains his grand Ar- canum, by which he engages to teach the whole Science of Criticism ina week. At length, however, approach- ing his golden rule, to keep the knave at all times, such was the clamour of applause, that he was enforced to stop. Thus interrupted, Her Heaviness appoints him Censor and Misguider General. Seated on the bench, it is now related, how he did not hear the case, passed sen- tence, and, with his own hand, inflicted punishment. After which, the great multitude of Criticks in these Islands is shewn, how enrolled in a body corporate; how they write it, and bring their shoddy to the shop. Lastly, after a humane episode of some good advice, with a parting word on [hrelings and him who hires, the Poet declares it superfluous to press them more, as they are all, criticks and criticised, rapidly sinking into Oblivion, there ever to remain, unless, perchance, Satire shall lift them. THE OBLIVIAD. Book THE SECOND. HE race of mortals these ; their numbers vast ; Oblivion this, where all descend at last ; The itch to scrawl; Romance the deadly sway ; And thus once vaunted virtue swept away. NOTES. Ver. 1. The race of mortals these ;| Recapitulation ; more in use among the Philosophers than Poets, who leave the reader to refresh his memory himself, and make more easy the transition, which, according to Boileau, is the most difficult attainment of style. Am. Ep. Ibid. As usual, we have to search for a meaning. For the meaning of this, is, just as you understand it; either, that ¢4ese are mortals running arace; or, that ¢4zs is a race of mortals; in which case he should have written ¢hs, Ep. ATH. VER. 2. Oblivion this, where all descend at last ;] A melancholy truth, of which I am not without some of those fears which my great predecessor confessed of himself : ‘© Ye Pow’rs! whose Mysteries restor’d I sing, To whom time bears me on his rapid wing, Suspend awhile your Force inertly strong, Then take at once the Poet and the Song,” 110 THE OBLIVIAD. Book II. This scabies cure, say, must the skilful try, 5. Like av’rice, desperate of all remedy ? Or, rather, stop contagion ere too late; This guz/de-grass from our fields eradicate ; A sanitary cordon widely place, And strict exclude what left of human race ; 10 Remuneration to the tradesman give, And kill the many that the few may live ? NOTES. On which passage, the candid Scriblerus writes: ‘Fair and softly, good Poet! For sure, in spite of his unusual modesty, he shall not travel so fast toward OBLIVION.” DunciapD, Book iv., v. 5. Ver, 5. This scabies] A professional term for the itch, figuratively that of writing, for so likewise we speak of the cacoethes scribendi ; but this scabies may be for money not less than writing, or for both, a complication of complaints; ‘‘ scabies et contagio lucri,” which passage I would interpret in that sense, the scabies of the pen, with the contagion of the purse. Ver. 6, Like av’rice, &c.] Hippocrates called a Consultation of all the Physicians of the world, (they being less numerous than at present,) to con- sider the disease of Avarice. ‘Ver. 8. This guilde-grass from our fields eradicate ;| Desirous of ascertaining at what age this pest of writing, together with all those mentioned in the last Book, begun, I was compelled to extend my researches among remote records: in conformity with which, and willing to ascend to the darkest times, I have been at the pains to inquire into the first appearance of this other inveterate weed; the which having followed through long rolls of ancient vellum and antique parchment, in the Public Offices, and Libraries of England, I then directed my attention to Scotland, where I found that, in the Parliament held at Scone, by King Alexander II., A.D. 1214, a very severe law was made against those farmers who did not extirpate a pernicious weed, called gui/de, out of their lands. REGIAM MAJESTATEM, p. 335. VER. 9. A sanitary cordon] Cordon Sanitaire ; as in the cattle plague, Ibid. widely place,| Quere, wisely. Ep. ATH, Book II. THE OBLIVIAD. III Advisers all when haply one distrest, And each man’s remedy by much the best. That ailing dame, as each new ill attacks, 15 The State, ‘still hears both regulars and quacks ; The Empress lab’ring a like lot befalls, And sent a hundred smocks, a score of cauls ; The Princess, too, in her sad chance, might choose, Vast stock, ’twixt rancid salves for wound or bruise. 20 NOTES. Ver. 11. Remuneration to the tradesman give,) Remuneration to the ¢vade, that is, to the Publisher, for the books and manuscripts, carted off, with their authors, Am, Ep. VER, 12, Rill the many that the few may live ?] A precept against all rule, and, in particular, to that principle, the greatest good to the greatest number, who are the Writers and Reviewers, Ep, ATH. Ver, 16. regulars and quacks ;] O’Connell, famous for his skill at names, called Cobbett a political guack: no obscure writer in his day, nor I suppose entirely forgotten in this country, to which he was forced to fly, and whence he dated some of his books; Brooklyn, Long Island. Am. Ep. Ver. 17. The Empress lav'ring| During the protracted parturition of the Empress Eugenie, an infinite number of cauls, charms, old smocks, and amulets, were every day handed in at the Tuileries, Am. Ep. VER. 19. Zhe Princess, too, in her sad chance,| The Princess Alexan- dra suffered for a long time with an inflamed joint, being under the care of the first Surgeons in England. But every old woman and spinster in the country was more profoundly skilled than they; and such was the, variety of packages, constantly arrivipg at Marlborough House, containing domes- tic specifics and quack nostrums, that two additional Secretaries were set to work; such was the toil of acknowledging them: “T am requested, by the Inferior Scrub to the Assistant Scullion in the Kitchen of His Royal Highness, to acknowledge that the Princess has been much benefited by your Ointment, used in giving a more sudden heat in the furnace, and lit by the more shining passages of Tennyson, when « higher temperature was required in the Royal apartments.” 112 THE OBLIVIAD. Book II. Thus, chance, when puppy of your household sick, Or spavin’d donkey lifts an awkward kick, Officious friends diversely view the case, And this would recommend, if in your place ; On soothing systems skilfully descant, 25 Or much insist on counter-irritant ; Astringent doses with much reason urge ; A plethora perceive, and give a purge ; Infinitesimal and full best seem, One packs in ice, and one surrotinds in steam. 30 NOTES. Has the Reader noticed the difference between the two nations? The French sent in but things of a superstitious sort, the English, equally cre- dulous, but nostrums, It is not here to our purpose, yet the Reader may not be displeased to find his attention drawn off to a very ingenious passage in the Letters of Lapy WorTLEY. ‘As we no longer trust in miracles and relics, we run as eagerly after receipts and doctors, and the money which was given three centuries ago for the health of the soul, is now given for the health of the body, by the same sort of people, women and half- witted men. Quacks are despised in countries where they have shrines and images.” VER. 22, spavin’d donkey| Not so fast, not so fast, Mr. Satirist ; we deny that asses are subject to thespavin, It is even curious that the Aigher breed of horses are the most liable to, and the most frequently fired for, it. We have, in our own employ, many asses, that although Aa/t, are not so from this cause; it may indeed be that a thoroughbred ass may be affected in this way; and when we say a thoroughbred ass, we do not mean to say, simply, a great ass, a thing common enough, but ax egregious ass, as by pedigree. Ep, ATH. "VER. 29. Jnfinitesimal and full best seem,) The infinitesimal men are the simlia simdlibus, a phrase which seems sug- gested by that of Ennius, sivia similis, while the full are the contraria con- trariis ; the one the followers of Galen, the other of Paracelsus; of whom the former are creeping into favour, as people, for the most part, prefer to die by “ttle-and-little, or infinitesimally, which is the natural way: for, in fact, to live is but to die, by Dixon’s method of speaking; or, in other words, to take every day so much from life, in homceopathic quantities, until Book II. THE OBLIVIAD. 113 Thus, too, of scribbling when the fit is on, And wastes to words the soft enchephalon ; By pains parturient when Miss Dinah shook, Or Ouida the romantic big with book ; NOTES. all is gone, and our last dose is taken; unless by our wié#, or otherwise, as by our d/zess, we make ourselves immortal, which is the opposite state, when day after day is added to existence, instead of being subtracted from it: and, as to the difference between good fame and bad fame, said Swift, tis a perfect trifle; so that Hepworth Dixon is as lasting a name as any other, provided the pickle be good. Satire may, not inaptly, be called, anatomia vivorum ; but it may likewise be called condimentum mortuum ; when that which we have dissected, we preserve. This, together with a few other Notes by the Author, runs perhaps too much into the carelessness of conversation, and discovers more of what in our language is called humour, than judgment. For which an excuse, if it admits of any, may be found in the following, taken from a critique on Montaigne, whose Essays, as they are without strict method, are, on that account, as well as for other weighty considerations, not the less accepta- ble to the Reader : ** Dans cette humeur on se jette sur toutes sortes de sujets, comme 4 la picorée ; et l’on dit au hasard tout ce qui vient a4 la pensée, risquant le bon pour le mauvais, et le mauvais pour le bon, sans trop d’atachement ni 4 l'un nia-Vautre. On parle de tout comme si on ne parloit de rien; et souvent de rien, comme de quelque chose fort important. On commence un dis- cours par ot il dévroit finir; on le quitte au milieu, et puit on le reprend tantét A la téte, tantét Ala queué. On ne dit point ce qu’on avoit promis de dire, et ’on dit souvent toute autre chose que ce que l’on avoit pense. La régle la plus générale de cette maniére d’écrire, c’est de n’en point avoir, et la plus grande affectation, c’est de ne rien affecter.” Mélanges d’ Histoire et de Littérature, par M. DE VIGNEUL-MARVILLE, Tom. i, p. 142. The simia similis, is, ‘‘ Simia quam similis, turpissima bestia, nobis ;” as in CICERO, from Ennius. Am, Eb. VER. 34. Oxida] ‘* La célébre Ouida, auteur aussi admirée que mysté- rieuse de ‘ Strathmore,’ Under Two Flags, &c.”’ A paper in Paris publishes, with remarks, that Miss Ouida is married, who writes to the Athenzeum, that she is not, and thus, unavoidably, for it is a part of the contradiction, publishes her own praise. 114 THE OBLIVIAD. Book II. The criticks come, and this a fever sees, 35 That phlegm sole agent of the cold disease ; A mere marasmus these suspect of mind, While those but crudities, or simply wind ; Immediate death from inanition fear, Or think the moribond may last a year : 40 NOTES. With the same artifice Doggerel is put into the Obituary, which all read ; (as they do of the Obliviad, which is but a General Obituary ;) to which, next day, Doggerel replies that he still lives, as his Publishers, Messrs, So-And- So, might have informed the Editor, who apologizes, and who is apologized to, in turn; until fame begins, which a great wit likened to a shuttle-cock, tossed from this side to that, and so kept from falling. The last thing of this kind is in the Athenzeum, in the instance of no less a person than the Hero of this Poem, Mr. Hepworth Dixon ! ** Mr. Hepworth Dixon’s new work, ‘ Royal Windsor,’ which we have be- fore mentioned, is in the press, and will be issued by Messrs. Hurst and Blackett, in the course of a few weeks. Messrs. Triibner write :—Referring to the first paragraph of the ‘Geographical Notes’ in your issue of last Saturday, we beg to state Mr. Hepworth Dixon’s forthcoming letters on Cyprus, &c., will be written, under contract, for zs, and will be supplied to several provincial newspapers, not to the Worth British Daily Mail exclu- sively.” A marvellous specimen of the preeconium duplex, or double puff, by which two books are brought into notice in the same breath, and in such a way that Justice and Messrs. Triibner are alone responsible, leaving the Athe- nzeum free of the scandal. .If Dixon is to write about Cyprus, I warrant we shall have enough of the rites of Venus, and carza/ concubinage. VER. 36. phlegm sole agent of the cold disease ;] The word phlegm expressed oriyinally eat, agreeable to the derivation, gaéyw, uro; but, subsequently, in the humoral pathology, having been used in opposition to the sanguine, or hot temperament, came to signify codd, which is now its meaning exclusively, and that in which I also use it. I find in a book of science the following definition of phlegm, which agrees ama- zingly with the literary application of that word ; ‘* Phlegm, an agueous and insipid fluid, supposed to be found in all natural bodies, and obtained from them by distillation, or otherzwtse ; coinciding with what the other philoso-. Book II. THE OBLIVIAD. 115 From doubt to doubt the crew diversely brought Until the malady themselves has caught ; Consign’d to scribble while allow’d to live, And want the wise opinions which they give, , But, tenanted long since, crypt, cloister, aisle, 45 And raised fantastic, a famed monkish pile ; With gibbous shape on clumsy buttress bent, Where things to laugh at stuck for ornament; NOTES. phers call water.”—I also read, what is not a little curious, and quite appli- cable here, that ‘the later writers spoke of phlegm as a crude, aqueous, mucous fluid, of an excrementitious nature, which prevailed before proper concoction took place,” VER. 43. while allow’ d to live,| Namely, until killed by a review. For criticks are attacked by one another, and become each other's food, like rats, of which the more poisonous overpowers the rest, until, at last, some bloated creature remains at the bottom of the hole, VER. 46. monkish pile ;} Gray, in the fragment of an ‘‘ Address to Ignorance,”’ placed her in a Gothic building. Am. Ep. VER. 47. With gibbous shape, &c.] The resemblance appears to me ob- vious between a Gothic building and a Gothic book, no plan, but pile up, and extend your building until it covers an acre; your novel divide, like Clarissa, (for such was originally intended,) into twenty-eight volumes; or run your poem, like the Romance of the Rose, or the ‘‘ Earthly Paradise,” into half a million, or thereabout, of verses. But it is principally in the want of symmetry that this likeness is observable. In Vitruvius we find that the Ancient Architects took as their model the Human Figure, and kept to the proportions of it in their structures; whereas, if we study the Body, it is that of one gibbous, with one shoulder raised, the other depressed, like Thersites, and the back, like that of Hudibras, higher than either, ‘«* Adium compositio constat ex symmetria, cujus rationem diligentissime Architecti tenere debent. Ea autem paritur a proportione, qu grace dvadoyia dicitur. Proportio est rate partis membrorum in omni opere to- tiusque commodulatio, ex qua ratio efficitur symmetriarum: namque non potest zedes ulla sine symmetria, atque proportione rationem habere com- 116 THE OBLIVIAD. Book II. Great Grub Street’s pride, with wing or wall outspread, And eked at random from the Gothic head. 50 Here Ignorance enthroned, long robb’d of sight, Yet positive to prove her darkness light ; Of Knowledge makes one universal. blot, Shews what ne’er was, and proves what is, is not ; With dictatorial tone accosts aloud, 55 And with bold error misdirects the crowd. Submissive subjects to her last command, These eye the leaden sceptre in her hand ; Receive new nonsense, fast retain the old, And swear that what ne’er glisters is true gold. 60 Her College here; where, in the nether dome, The precious parchment toss’d of Greece and Rome ; Where Tacitus himself half eat by rats, Dank mid-day residence of owls and bats ; Her Kitchen next, in which a busto bound 65 Tight on the marble neck, the jack sends round. NOTES. positionis, nisi uti ad hominis bene figurati membrorum habuerit exactam rationem.” ViTRUV. Lib. iii,, Cap, 1. VER. 52. positive to prove her darkness light ;] “ By means of the light that is within her, or the inner illumination,” as Mr, Carlyle expresses it, Milton himself avowed that he mused, or, if you will have it, moused best, like an owl, in the night, and, after the loss of his sight, saw darkness visible. ; Ep. ATH. VER. 63. Where Tacitus, &c.] The fragment of the Annals which has been saved, was found in Germany, in a Monastery, on the banks of the Weser, VER. 65. @ busto bound Tight on the marble nech, the jack sends round.) This description calls to mind that in Winkelmann, where he speaks of “‘ the fine bust of Claudius, found ad/e Fratocchie, and carried into Spain by Book II. THE OBLIVIAD: 117 Above, some worthies, never meant to stir, With ‘ Greca’ letter’d plain, ‘on legitur ;’ The deep alcoves with lore Armoric spread, Undoubted lies of Brut-y-Brenhined ; 70 Colonna, Turpin, Monmouth, much abound, Regnorum-Chronica, the Gesta found ; The Squyre of Low Degre, the King of Tars, And Alexander the Romantic Wars. Not Mudie, in the season, better stock’d, 75 Nor Quixote’s library more rubbish lock’d ; NOTES. the Cardinal Girolamo Colonna. When the Austrians, in the war of the succession, had possessed themselves of Madrid, My Lord Galloway made inquiry for this bust, and learned that it was in the Escurial, where he found it serving as the weight to the Church clock, Wink , Hist. de L’ Art, L. vi., C. vi. VER. 68. With ‘ Greca,’ &c.] In the Ages of Ignorance, (to which Hep- worth & Co, are now rapidly bringing us back,) a usual marginal note, when a Greek passage occurred, ‘‘ Greeca, non legitur.’? VER. 69. lore Armoric| Armorica, a Gallic province, now Britany, peopled, at an early age, by a colony from Wales, was originally the great hot-bed of Romance ; whence was brought into England by Gualtier, arch- deacon of Oxford, a chronical entitled Brut-y-Brenhined, or the History of the Kings of Britain ; which, translated by Geoffrey of Monmouth, together with another such legend by Turpin, this stuffed with the exploits of Charle- magne, as that with those of Arthur, became the main repositories where all subsequent tale-weavers found their materials, down to our own days, in which we hear again of Arthurian women, Holy Grail, and the Round Table. VER. 73. King of Tars,] Slang phrase for Ship Captain, novel of Bulwer. Ep. ATH. Ver. 75. Mot Mudie,| Mudie’s, the great Circulating Library, where all the triflers in England, Ireland, and Scotland, men, women, and gnildren, are furnished with the means of complete Idleness. Concerning wluch, to let the Reader see that I am entirely serious, I desire to quote from a book of Sermons, by no less an ecclesiastic than Bishop Butler : 118 THE OBLIVIAD. Book IT: For, lo! along the bending shelves appear The well-gilt glories of the opening year ; “‘The Holy Grail” how snatch’d up to the Skies, Dull tale spun out with ill-imagined lies ; 80 NOTES. ‘* The great number of books and papers of amusement, which, of one kind or another, daily come in one’s way, have in part occasioned, and most perfectly fall in with and humour, this idle way of reading and considering things, By this means, time, even in solitude, is happily got rid of, without the pain of attention: neither is any part of it more put to the account of idleness, one can scarce forbear saying, is spent with less thought, than great part of that which is spent in reading. ‘Thus people habituate themselves to let things pass through their minds, rather than to think of them.’’ Sermons by the R. Rev, J. BUTLER. Pref. Note.—One of those loose couplets, for which I could not find a place in the text, as mentioned in the Preface, is the following : Read and forgot, from palace to the hovel, Tis idle all, or rhapsody, or novel. Am. Ep. Ver. 79. ‘The Holy Grail”] I observe that the Laureate, who has always been a close student of the ‘‘ Art of Sinking,” as visible in all his other works, has more particularly in this before us formed himself upon it : “Take out of any old Poem, History-book, Romance or Legend (for instance, Geoffry of Monmouth, Mort Arthur, or Don Belianis of Greece) those parts of story which afford most scope for long Descriptions: Put these pieces together, and throw all the adventures you fancy into one Tale?’ ART OF SINKING, Chap, xv. PUTTENHAM, author of Ohe Arte of Hnglish Poesie, had, long before Tennyson, written a iomance, as he called it, on this plan: ‘‘a 3omance or historicall ditty in the English tong of the Isle of great 3ritaine in short and long meetres, and by breaches or diuisions to be more commodiously song to the harpe in places of assembly, where the company shalbe desirous to hearg of old aduentures and valiaunces of noble knights in times past, as are those of King Arthur and his knights of the round table, Sir Beupgs of Southampton, Grup of WHlarbbicke and others like.” ARTE OF ENGLISH Pogsik, Lib. i., chap, xix, Book II. THE OBLIVIAD. 119 “‘ The Earthly Paradise,” verse ne’er to die If length of line can reach eternity ; NOTES. Ver. 81. “The Earthly Paradise,”] A poem by Mr. Morris, of 202000000003 lines, more or less, praised, “and that highly,’’ by the Athe- nzeum: a single work, so much greater than the two poems, put together, of Homer, as they include, all told, but twice twenty-four books, or rhap- sodies ; which, at one thousand lines a piece, or thereabout, make but forty- eight thousand: infinitely less than the ‘Paradise,’”? (I mean that of Morris, and not that known, by the way of contempt, as the “‘ Paradise Lost.””) The question is ‘one of arithmetic: find how many times 40,000 goes into 200,000,000,003, and the quotient is the criticism required. In the Pisgah-sight of the future glories of the empire of Dulness, given by the ghost of Settle, I notice this Morris, who is the same with Besaleel, named in the following verse: ‘* Breval, Bond, Besalee/, the varlets caught :” Dunciab, B. ii., v. 126. or, he subsequently spoken of as Morris : “*Let all give way—and Morris may be read.” Id. B. iii, v. 168. Morris, in point of fact, did not exist in the age of the Dunciad, or of Anne, and was but seen ina Vision, for we are informed by a Mote, on the first of the dines just quoted, by the learned ScriBLERUS, that no such writer was then living, or had ever lived ; having been held back, the Fates willing, to adorn the reign of Victoria : ‘Si qua fata aspera rumpas, Tu Morrisus eris.” ENEID. L. vi., v. 882. ‘all give way, that Morris may be read:” which of itself contains convincing proof that the present Morris is the real one, since a// other reading had to be set aside, in order to give time for the ‘‘ Paradise,” which could not be applied to any other poem than this ; the longest known, Jonge, longegue, longissimum, and what might, with propriety, be called ‘‘ The Paradise of Printers.” This, therefore, being very evident, and that the real preenomen of Morris is not William, but Sesa/ee/, by that I shall always speak of him hereafter, 120 THE OBLIVIAD. Book II. Advent’rous ‘‘ Puck” by Ouida raised to view, In volumes three, next ‘‘ Life and Death” in two: Where Heaven, Earth, Paradise, and Fairy meet, 85 Life, Death, in some six novels, all complete. Sage teachers here, where the wide halls expand, Disclose each art they do not understand ; NOTES. This Besaleel, I am told, is, by trade, a dauber, that is to say, a scene painter, and, as poet, has stuck to his trade, or, his trade has stuck to him, for his pictures are such as will not bear a close examination: uf pictura, poesis. Ibid. An American Reviewer, of a mechanical turn, divides the praise between the Poet’s fancy and fingers, and while others are amazed at the amount of ‘head work,” only wonders at the ‘‘ manual toil, which must surprise even a practiced journalist,’’ like himself. *‘ Molto egli oprd col senno, e con la mano.” GERUSALEMME LiBERATA, Canto i., s. 1. I once heard of a couple of lawyers, one of whom had already been four hours on his harangue, when his opponent, slyly approaching him, inquired how long he was likely to hold out. Not a great while, said he; my /egs are beginning to fail me. In which way it is, that we may expect an end of the Paradise, through failure of finger and thumb, or what the Doctors call the Scrivener’s palsy. - ‘‘In hora seepe ducentos, Ut magnum, versus dictabat, stans pede in uno.” Hor. Sat. L. I. S. iv., v. 9. Pede in uno ; it was the foot which failed Lucilius, Ibid. MeNzINI, he who is first of the Italian Satirists, wrote three cantos of an epic, entitled ‘‘ PARADISO TERRESTRE.”? Ver. 84. “Life and Death” ] Thereisa Work with this title, and on this subject, by a youth of rea/ genius, and read knowledge, whom Napoleon, first Consul, honoured with a Monument, VER. 88. Disclose each art they do not understand | Doubtless: for when a Book is sent to the Reviewer, it is not to be sup- posed that he is acquainted with that which he never saw before. His Book II. THE OBLIVIAD. 121 Here, crowds immense, are the a/umauzi brought, Where of the little which they knew untaught ; 90 Of words a medley shown to toss by chance, And hive each year their stores of ignorance ; NOTES. business is to tell the world that which the writer told him, and to inform the author himself on his own book, with a sneer, which is all that is expected from him. Ep. ATH. VER. 90. of the little which they knew untaught ;| As there is danger in limited degrees of knowledge, we gain in the loss of what we had acquired, and come back to the basis of ignorance, as to first principles. Those who teach music will tell you that there is a double difficulty with those who had been instructed previously, who now have to be untaught, and to make their first advance backwards; so that Timotheus charged twice as much to such, as Quintilian informs us. Again: The memory gradually fails with age, but so does wisdom increase proportionally ; until, as all knowledge is but remembrance, prudence is then perfect when igno- rance is complete ; which, therefore, should be the aim of all our designs, as opening the way for that virtue which insures all the rest: ‘Nullum numen abest, si sit Prudentia.” But this is not all: for, in the present age of com. petition, since, immediately after examination, the candidate sets himself deliberately to disburden himself of, and forever to forget, all he had been crammed with, the curriculum is but half complete until he has brought himself round again to the point he had started from, like a horse in a mill, and ended the circle of the sciences, by the back track. ’Twas Themistocles that would have finished his education in this way, by that difficult art of unlearning, which now Dixon and his Colleagues are pretending to teach, VER. 92. stores of ignorance ;| ‘‘ Nil admirari ;” if this be a just rule, nihil cognoscere, is equally and necessarily so; for nothing, it is cer- tain, has so much obstructed the progress of knowledge as preconceived no- tions. The mind, as Mr. Locke said, should open itself like clean paper, and come with a carte blanche to the undertaking. Lately, the Manager IMITATIONS. VER. 92. hive each year their stores of ignorance ;} From Byron, Childe Harold, Canto iii., cvit. *¢ And hiving wisdom with each studious year.” Am. Eb. 6 122 THE OBLIVIAD. Book II. Till, all unknown, in turn to teach they rise, Wise doctors chief in skill to criticise. An annual throng; and now not absent one, 95 They come, a locust host, to hide the sun ; NOTES. of a Cyclopedia factory, asking one of his most thorough hands, if he had ever heard of the Conic Sections; I can say, without vanity, replied the other, that I am thoroughly unacquainted with them. Good, rejoined the Manager, you will approach the study without prejudice, and slice the cone, as you would a pine apple, naturally, without impediment of the mathe- matics. VER. 94. Wise doctors chief in skill to criticise.) Smith, in the Wealth of Nations, remarks, very justly, that labour is the lot of mankind, philosophers only excepted, whose business it is to sit apart, and amuse themselves with what the rest are doing, Of this sort, as their name implies, are the Reviewers, who, for the most part, being too lazy, or too stupid, to acquire any handicraft, set themselves maliciously to find fault, and think they have done a good day’s work, when they have turned the laugh against some careful labourer, or found a flaw in his work: This man has a kind of hobble in his gait, that is weak in the knees, a third short of vision ; a fourth has industry in collecting, but wants skill to put things to- gether ; while a fifth can refit and adapt, but is indebted to others for the materials: all which these idlers object, with an air as if they could have done better themselves, had they taken the trouble: A hungry, snarling breed ; and, for the greater number, like cutcast curs, lean and mangy. VER. 96. They come, a locust host, to hide the sun ;} Moses stretched forth his rod over the land of Egypt, and the Lord brought an east wind upon the land all that day, and all that night ; and when it was IMITATIONS. VER. 95. not absent one, &c.] Ore ris ody ToTandy arénv, vdod’ ’Qxeavoio, Otr kpa Nuppdwy, ral 7 kAcea Kadd veéuovrat, Kal myyas worapay, Kal riven mommevta, Intap. Lib, xx., v. 7. Book II. THE OBLIVIAD. 123 Each nymph from brooks which Thames assist to swell, Each youth who haunts the shades of Holy-Well ; Each lord, mistrustless of a stupid face, Till all the motley rabble fills the place. 100 The few officious near the footstool press, High in the midst where sits her Heaviness, NOTES. morning, the east wind brought the locusts. And the locusts went up over all the land of Egypt—so that the land was darkened. Exon. x., 13, This corresponds very much with the description in PLINY : *¢ Deorum irze pestis ea intelligitur. Namque et grandiores cernuntur, et tanto volant pennarum stridore, ut alice alites credantur : Solémque obum- brant, solicité suspectantibus populis, ne suas operiant terras,”’ Nat. Hist. Lib. xi. Cap. 29, Ibid. hide the sun ;] That is, metaphorically, to throw the land into ignorance; though it has almost ceased to be a figure of speech when we speak of the dark ages, meaning those when all real learning was ob- scured, and ignorance had become universal, VER. 98. the shades of Holy-Well ;] As, possibly, some Reader at a distance may not know exactly where the umbrageous Holy- Well is, it is but due to inform him that it adjoins Wych Street, Drury Lane, and Wed- dington Street, that district in the Metropolis in which the obscene literature is disposed of; where still, weekly, many thousand sheets of such are sold, covertly and openly, notwithstanding the efforts of a Society for the sup- pression of publications so prejudicial to morals, (to set aside taste,) and frequent descents of the police, There every prostitute may purchase Swin- burne’s Ode to Venus, Spiritual Wives, Fanny Hill, Dove of St. Mark, and Life of a Courtezan. Some short time since Sir Thomas Henry gave order for the destruction, by the common hangman, (not meaning @ certain person,) of a warehouse- ful of obscene books; a job of ten days continuance, VER. 01. Dhe few officious near the footstool press,] That is wrong. The first two rows were the reserved seats, and no one, officious or official, had the right to gress to them, or to press on them, with- out a ticket. ; Ep. ATH, 124 THE OBLIVIAD. Book II. And Barnard, deaf, assumes the place assign’d, To match the goddess, who herself is blind ; He who in things of learning most to seek, 105 And, surd to ev’ry sound, is chief to Greek, Yet such who to the talebearer gave ear, When poison pour’d had made the deaf to hear: An adder spiteful, and by soft control Untouch’d of Arts that humanize the soul. 110 NOTES.. VER. 103. Barnard,| Known, among his friends, by the sobriguet of Blockhead Barnard, VER. 104. To match the goddess,| That is to say, we suppose, that he heard through the Goddess, and that she saw through him, the one being the complement of the other. Ep. ATH. VER. 106. Greek,] This Greek is a serious thing. A clergyman who was in the habit of visiting at a certain house, one day happened to notice that the head of the family was reading, at his leisure, in an old Greek vo- lume, in contracted letter; whereupon, he withdrew hastily, and whenever, as Curate of the Parish, he called afterwards, ventured no farther than the ‘loor, always hoping, among other compliments, that the Doctor was quite well,—The once famous ‘‘ Greek fire’ was less an object of terror, In this tongue the Principal of a certain College lately made a strange blunder, in the pronun iation of a very ordinary word, which a gentleman who happened to be present making a jest of afterwards, as if it was excusa- ble in a deaf man, a talebearer wéspered it to the Professor, who resented the matter in a very vindictive manner. Am. Eb. VER. 109. adder] This is the viper called in the Scripture the deaf. : Am. Ep. IMITATIONS. VER. 109. by soft control Ontouch’d of Arts that humanize the soul.) ** Adde, quod ingenuas didicisse fideliter artes, Emollit mores, nec sinit esse feros,’”?’ Ovip. Epist, ex Pont, L, ii., ix, v. 47. Book IT. THE OBLIVIAD. 125 The Poet Close conspicuous in place, While Miller, Massey, each displays a face ; NOTES. VER. 111. Zhe Poet Close] The greatest Author zow living, and em- phatically the poet ; pensioned, promoted, and praised, owing to the jea- lousy of rivals, infinitely below his merit. Ver, 112. Miller,] Mr, Thos, To make a dozen dishes out of anettle- top, or cook a dinner without money, in that is the skill. ‘© Voila une belle merveille de faire bonne chére avec bien de l’argent! c’est une chose la plus aisée du monde, et il n'y a si pauvre esprit qui n’en fit bien autant; mais, pour agir en habile homme, il faut parler de faire bonne chére avec peu d’argent.” Mo ire: |’Avare, acte iii, sc. 5. ** Poetical Language of Flowers,” ‘‘ History of the Anglo-Saxons, and Life and Adventures of a Dog,” ‘* Lady Jane Grey, with Goody Platts and her two Cats:”’ all this, and much more, out of ‘* very indifferent hand- writing,’ and ‘* zztolerable reading in the Testament,” (for he took to the inspired writers,) therein is genius. Sasket-maker by trade, and critick in the Athenzeum ; vod in hand, in either capacity. Lamented youth, who, tasting, too fondly, the dews in Castalia, was at length carried off by the Nymphs of the stream. Apt to drink, as the Poet has it, at the fountain of the Muses: ** Aptusque bibendis Fontibus Aonidum.” Juv. Sat. vii., v. 58. “Those Mames,” said Pope, speaking of his Poem, “ which are its chief ornaments, die off daily so fast.” Ibid. Massey,] Employed originally in a Silk-mill, Mr. Massey became afterwards a Plaiter of Straw, from which was but an easy transition to verse. ‘* Voices of Freedom and Lyrics of Love:” if the book but keep the promise of the title, not Ovid’s Art is of equal value, for hitherto love and freedom have been found incompatible things. ‘‘ Craigerook Castle ;”” ear-splitting sounds, in which the whole rookery is heard. Having ‘re- ceived but a scanty education,’’ he made up for the deficiency by ‘‘ reading Robinson Crusoe, and the Pilgrim’s Progress ;” whereby amply qualified, ‘¢ he contributed to various periodicals, and lectured on literary and other subjects.” 126 THE OBLIVIAD. Book II. Enlighten’d Hollingshead to Thornbury near ; The Athenzads there ; reporters here. Then bade approach, in ignorance long nursed, 115 Untaught, unteachable, of numskulls first, Who best of jargon can the changes sound, Obscure the bright, and all the clear confound, Instudious ardour give the growing mind, And in the deepest depths a deeper find, 120 NOTES. VER. 113. Enlighten'd Hollingshead] Put betimes to business, but “preferring journalism,’’ which is the same as idleness, contributed to several daily and weekly Newspapers, as well as Magazines, ‘‘ Household Words,” ** All the Year Round,” ** Cornhill,” ‘* Good Words,” ** Once a Week,” and other receptacles of the worthless. Wrote ‘‘ Underground London,” bringing to light all that disgust had concealed in the sinks and sewers of the Metropolis, and, in this also like Mr, Mayhew, described ** Ragged London” and the Poor. Ibid. Dhornbury| ‘* Was intended for Oxford, but early in life showed a taste for Literature,” and began, e¢at. 17, by writing on ‘‘ Antiquarian Topics.” Sent to the Athenzeum a series of Papers, which afterwards, in the vain hope of rescuing them from Oblivion, he printed separately. Let us here pause a little. Thornbury was inxtended to be educated, which Miller, as we have seen, was not ; while Dixon, so far as the world knows, néver saw the inside of a Seminary; yet such are the men who write Athenzums, ‘‘ Risum teneatis?” can even their friends keep from laugh- ing? Not long since, happening, in a Coffee-Room, while waiting for the news- paper, to glance at the above-mentioned Athenzum, I noticed, at the top of the page, a criticism on the dad grammar of an author; in which criti- cism of some dozen lines were as many solecisms, whereas in the passage condemned, not one ; these accomplished basket-makers, weavers, and worse, having been deceived by an ellipsis, of which they knew nothing; any more than of any other figure of rhetoric, except the gizg/imus, or that by which right is made wrong, and vice-versa, VER, 114. The Athenaads there ;| That is true; there they were. Ep, ATH, Book II. THE OBLIVIAD. 127 Hepworth She names, who mounts the throne before, With grin complacent, ’mid a gen’ral roar ; From her benighted eyes a tear lets down, And sets her hand on that impervious crown, In strange bad Latin next proceeds to bless, 125 Nods to the gaping throng, and bids address. Awhile he falters, as Ulysses did, With looks where craft beneath the fool is hid ; Then with such eloquence proceeds, as, sent, He would have used last year in Parliament ; 130 But graceful, first, a once clean kerchief shows, And sends the sounding prelude through the nose. NOTES. VER. r29. Then with such eloquence proceeds, as, sent, He would have used last year in Parliament ;] Hepworth, having become ambitious of the Commons, went about in the country towns, last year, delivering Addresses on ‘* Our Representative Sys- tem,” ‘‘ Free Voting,” and, in particular, on ‘‘ Free Love;’’ insisting much on this, and promising his utmost efforts, should he be elected, which he was not, The Addresses he afterwards published, price one penny, and, at a Meeting, went round with a hat. VER. 130. Parliament ;| The facts of the matter are: We sent out a couple of feelers, and finding the Constituency adverse, thought it less disgraceful to withdraw, than to be rejected. Ep. ATH. VER. 131. a once clean kerchief shows,] A question arises, whether the handkerchief here mentioned was clean at the time Hepworth, (so to call him,) possessed himself of it, or that he took IMITATIONS. VER, 120. in the deepest depths a deeper find,] ** And in the lowest deep a lower deep.” ParaDIsE Lost, Book iv., v. 76. VER. 127. Awhile he falters, as Ulysses did, &c.] talns xev (dnordy tia Eppevat, &ppovd Sabrws- Iuiap, Lib. iii., y. 220, 128 THE OBLIVIAD. Book II. O friends, since dark of days, and doom’d to die, Oblivion waits us, where we soon must lie ; Since loads of all of us still throng the way, 135 And Ludgate left unlock’d by night and day ; NOTES. possession of it already dirty, as pickpockets, who are also of literature, or plagiarists, are wont. VER. 132. sends the sounding prelude through the nose.] A signal of attention, and part of the 4vs Rhetorica, It was, I believe, the Abbé Boisrobert who first taught that a complete speaker should know to cough, spit, and sneeze, 2 progos ; while the Cordelier Maillard instructed to hem, when due emphasis was required, like Peter Pangloss, and thus per- fected the éloquence tousseuse, at one time so much a-/a-mode, The spot- less kerchief eloquence has long been studied by our preachers; but it was reserved for Hepworth to unite the one system with the other, and, in the spotted kerchief, to carry off the palm. “* Tussis pro crepitu, an art, Behind a cough, &c.”’ ** Quelquefois un fort bon moien de se retirer Pun mauvais pas,” as the Frenchman has expressed it.—But this is foreign to our purpose, and: leads us, if I may so express it, on a wrong scent, VER. 133. O friends, since dark of days, and doom'd to die, Oblivion, &c. Not Satan himself begins with more gloom : “« Thrice he assay’d, and thrice in spite of scorn Tears, such as Angels weep, burst forth: at last Words interwove with sighs found out their way.” ParAp. Lost, B. i., v. 619. Yet, here does Hepworth, to his credit be it spoken, beat the Devil, who was weak enough to shed tears, whereas all moisture was dried up in the eyes of the other, which were fiery red, giving the image of one who had been drunk over-night. But the Devil had still a little of the azge/ in him, which Hepworth had not. ‘* Nor less than archangel ruined: ” Nor less than archeritéc ruined : to which I will make no objection, VER, 136. And Ludgate left unlock'd, &c.] This is not to be under- stood as that thronged thoroughfare Ludgate on the surface, however filthy, Book II. THE OBLIVIAD. 129 Since courted, curst, at least be ours to haste, Usurpers short-lived on the throne of taste ; With bands Pretorian decimate the throng, And hold the tyranny to censure wrong : 140. With threats of chastisement the good o’erawe, In arbitrary judgments warp the law, From fame long flourishing the honours lop, Advancing Knowledge at all hazards stop ; True genius banish, each just claim repress, 145 And to the last maintain her Mightiness. At this a sudden shout more piercing sounds Than hoot of midnight owls, or yelp of hounds ; NOTES. of the earth, but one of the same name, far below, and much more thronged, conveying, by night as well as by day, as explained in Book I., bad authors and their bad books, to the receptacle prepared for them ; for as there is a ‘* time for all things,’’ so is there a place. VER. 137. Since courted, curst,| Hepworth was well aware that it was fear, not affection, that suggested those a¢tentions he was daily in rece‘pt of; for, being a critick, he agreed with Aristotle that, as in Tragedy, ¢error should be the moving principle. VER. 139. bands Pretorian] A guard of the judges in Rome, or the Preetors, which afterwards, under wicked surfers, was greatly increased in numbers, perverted all justice, and overturned all laws, The application is obvious. Ver. 146. her Mightiness.| The word we used was Highness ; the Goddess being literally and emphatically so, or as the author himself expressed it, “ 47g in the midst.” Ep. ATH. VER. 147. more piercing sounds Than hoot of midnight owls, or yelp of hounds ; Or clamour doubling till the roof-tree rent Of some crack’d critick hot in argument.) A hyperbole ; an egregious hyperbole; that one voice, however shrill, could at all compare with throat of thousands. Again: crack'd critick ; all the world knows, except this Satyrist, forsooth, that a cracked pipkin, 6* 130 THE OBLIVIAD. Book II. Or clamour doubling till the roof-tree rent Of some crack’d critick hot in argument. 150 Thus they, while Hepworth blows a deep reply, And finger hides his nose and modesty ; Then with a leer oblique the circle views, Lifts to his height, and thus again pursues. NOTES. though harsh and grating to the ear, gives not so loud a reply to the knuckle as one still integral. That empty tumbler now before us confutes him, It is true that what may be mcant is, that the critick was cracked in the brain, and not in the voice, Then: **the roof-tree rent Of some crack’d critick ;” when criticks have no roof, but live in lodgings; which, doubtless, may be in a garret. Ep. ATH. ‘May be in a garre¢ ;” why, that is the point ; immediately under the roof-tree: *©Ubi reddunt ova columbz :”’ Anglicé, the hen-roost. This Ep, Ass. must be fuddled.—* That tumbler now before us.” There is an old couplet, which I remember, and very much to the purpose : ** The empty tumbler on the table Show’d that he drank while he was able.” VER. 152. And finger hides his nose] Finger, instead of finger and thumb ;—but to waste time on such stuff ! Ep. ATH. Here the Author gives a flat contradiction to all Editors of the Athe- nzeum, present, past, and to come; as he has invariably noticed that Mr. Dixon, on all publick occasions, uses but one finger at a time, (counting the thumb as one of the five,) right and left alternately ; and thus, for the reason given by Aristotle ; who observing that those who sneeze, sneeze again im- mediately after ; because, said he, they have not one nostril, but two. It was noticed of Geor. IV., a gentleman, that he did take the leg of a chicken between his finger and thumb, in a cleanly manner, but never, that I have heard, that he took himself by his nose in that way; though now what these vulgar dogs of the Athenzeum would assert of Hep. LIII., 20 gentle- Book II. THE OBLIVIAD. 131 As stars that stray on the ethereal plain 155 Majestic march into their orbs again ; NOTES. man. and his critical part, or that by which all matter subject to decay, as books, are nicely examined ; the nose being brought down towards the thing, considerately, as you may see when a Poulterer is making trial of a Goose, or some such. Hence the invention of snuff, which the greatest men, as Napoleon, made use of to irritate the understanding, through this its agent, Physiognomists teach, that a man is grave by his nose, pert by his nose, in- quisitive by his nose; though rarely, it is true, sagacious by his nose, which would be to equal a man with a hound, jackal, or that other, a critick. A pug-nose is an expression of great contempt, when Nature has denied it the ordinary elongation, and it is like a telescope pushed in, through which you can discern nothing ; while when she has herein been liberal to the animal, we notice the greatest delicacy, with the greatest power, as in the elephant, the most sagacious of all creatures, which can either pick up a needle, or grub up a tree, by the proboscis only. The French have an expression, ‘‘le voila bien camzus,” that is, flat-nosed, when one has been baffled in something. That other polite people, the Crim Tartars, az contraire, flatten this part, in infancy, thinking it a fool- ish thing to allow one’s nose to take precedence of his eyes A subject which I had intended to go into further, and treat cf at large, had not a friend told me that there was already an old Essay, in Latin, on the same theme, by one SLAWKENBERGIUS, entitled de Nasis, Finally, however, that Mr. Dixon, a//ass Hepworth, had a brazen nose, as Mother Oxon has, or as suspected of one in the above Essay, I have not asserted, having spoken of his modesty ; ‘* hid his nose and modesty,’’ as in the text : to which I beg leave again to direct the reader. IMITATIONS. VER, 155. As stars that stray on the ethereal plain] This refers to the precession of the equinoxes, and apparent wandering of the stars; or, rather, to the variation of the ecliptic, by which, at intervals of an incalculable succession of ages, it moves from side to side, and again and again recovers a mean position ; as osci//ates a pendulum, or a fool’s head. It is thus that is completed the great Platonic year, to which it is thought VirGIL alluded: 132 THE OBLIVIAD. Book II. So these our errors, in a devious track, Fill their vast cycles, and then blunder back. Some paltry province all the Student’s boast, Disputed sway, or but a doubt at most ; 160 He held by reason, while we bold disperse As nonsense wide beyond the universe. Strange wisdom sure in books our hopes to place, When impudence at hand to meet the case ; When nod and shrug the point exactly hit, 165 And blank no-meaning seems the depth of wit. Let the fond fool who, lab’ring long at sense, Wait his estate a thousand ages hence ; To eat, be stupid, yours while yet you may, The rest not worth Reviews of yesterday.. 170 IMITATIONS. ** Magnus ab integro szclorum nascitur ordo.” **et incipient magni procedere menses.” Eclog. iv.; v. 5 et 12. But the description I have chosen to follow is that of Ausonius, as the more particular : * Donec consumto, Magnus qui dicitur, anno, Rursus in antiquum veniant vaga sidera cursum; Qualia dispositi steterant ab origine mundi.” Auson. Edyl, xviii., v. 15. The Chinese assert, with Galileo, that the earth moves, and explain that it is carried along, in this stately manner, on the back of a tortoise, Al- lowing which, may we not claim, that the general system of the stars rests on acrad, since it is a fact, in astronomy, that the equinoxes advance back- wards, VER. 169. Zo eat, be stupid, yours while yet you may, The rest not worth Reviews of yesterday.) EXOIE, MINE, NAIZE, 2S T AAAA TOTTOY OTK AEIA. ARISTOB, apud Athen, This was the Inscription on the Statue of Sardanapalus, which represented him with a sneer, and snapping his fingers, with a fillip. Book II. THE OBLIVIAD. 133 The mode, the moment, full extend your sail, And catch the fitful folly in the gale ; Coiffeur de Gyon, see ascend the pile, And shift the changing chiguon in your style ; Adjust your mirror to the monster true, 175 And head or hair be all the same to you. In Greek or Latin why these deep foundations, When Ramage ready with such apt quotations, In order placed, that e’en an ass may hit, The English here, the Greek just opposite ? 180 Or long in science multiply your cares, To find at last no market for your wares ? NOTES. VER. 169. To eat, be stupid, &c.] Aline but in part worthy of our Author ; for while it could be allowed them to eat when they could, how can we say, be stupid while you may; a thing of ecessity, while the other was but accidental. Am. Ep. WER. 171. The mode,| Of all the enemies to taste, none certainly is so formidable as fashion, which teaches to decry to-day, and without reason, all that yesterday we admired. For instance, your tailor will tell you; ‘* we wear these in this way zow;’”? and the Atheneum, ‘no one zow writes in that style.” ‘*A natura discedimus, populo nos damus, nullius rei bono auctori, et in hac re, sicut in omnibus, inconstantissimo.” SENEC. VER, 173. Gyon,| Fashionable Friseur of Paris; who dresses the ladies’ hair, as Tennyson their heads, ‘‘ Head or hair,” cries Hepworth. VER. 178. When Ramage ready] A selection of quotations by one Ra- mage or Rummage, of the greatest use to Authors, where they may find mottoes and sentences for every occasion, ¢ravslated ; Greek, Latin, French, and What-Not. VER. 179. een an ass may hit, The English here, the Greek just opposite ?] Some petulance in this; Hepworth yet Sore at a scandalous misquotation: in the Athenzeum, taken from a Dictionary of Quotations in which the Greek was not just opposite the English, 134 THE OBLIVIAD. Book II. More wise who lightly the rich cream can skim, And whip his sillabub to public whim ; His steaming volumes in quick courses lay, 185 Be brilliant in December, dull in May ; See cow and calf in taste take turn about, And bring his gosling in when goose is out. Admonish’d thus, still to the transient keep, And, to the dust still tending, lift your heap ; 190 Tramp’d under foot, like chaff the tempest strews, When need is more of books, and of reviews. Nor fear, O friends, if limitless is art, At length that purchasers shall fail the mart. For first the women count, then count the men, 195 Ten hundred thousand multiplied by ten ; Since these all publish, if the books are bought, And by each gilded bait a gudgeon caught. NOTES. VER. 182. no market for your wares ?} A Scholar meditates long some subject, masters, and writes upon it, when, after a revisal, he takes his manuscript to a Publisher; who submits it to his Reader, (not being qualified in that way himself ;) thinks it a very good thing; and now, says he, I will require five hundred pounds ¢owards the publication of it; we always gets an advance: so that he who went for wool, was like to go back shorn himself. Ver. 186. Be brilliant in December, dull in May ;] These are the months in which, respectively, Poets and Divines serve up their books. VER. 188. gosling in when goose is out.] Not faithfully reported. What we said was, that gosling was first, and goose after, agreeable to the order of Nature. Ep. ATH. Ver. 196. Ten hundred thousand multiplied by ten 5] In plain words, innumerable ; certus pro incerto: a figure of rhetoric which I also often make use of ; thus, speaking of criticks, I say, the dailies six a piece, when I mean sixty a piece, or more, Book II. THE OBLIVIAD. 135 *Tis easy shown by arithmetic rules, How rich in wealth is England, and in fools. 200 -But still in all things, how debased beside, The modern moral yours, as mine, the guide. An honest vender of forbidden fruits, Who trades at home in foreign prostitutes ; With spiritual wives who shows to sleep, 205 *Neath specious titles how the bagnio keep; NOTES. VER. 204. trades at home in foreign prostitutes ;] At this time an infamous traffic was carried on in foreign girls, some of them of infant age, who, stolen from their parents by certain villains, were carried to London; pretty much as in former days young women were brought in from the country, as seen in Hogarth’s ‘ York Mail;” until, at length, a poor Belgian girl escaped from the bagnio where she was confined, and put herself in the care of the policeman: whereupon a great scandal arose, and the Society for the Prevention of such Outrages prosecuted the pander, who should have been /ashed, in addition to the penal servitude to which he was sentenced; and now, since the full measure of punishment can not always be got, if there is oe who escapes the transportation, let him at least’ have the lash. Jbid, As the first great object of every author is to be understood, let me explain, at the risk of being tedious, that what I have here written, as else- where, is not to be interpreted literally, but figuratively, as of one who introduced us to, and brought in, a new set of Prostitutes, in his book, 2 vols. 8vo., with frontispiece ; and not that Mr. Hepworth Dixon plied the trade of a Male Bawd in the ordinary manner. VER, 208. Siloa’s brook ;| ‘‘ The waters of Siloa, that go softly,” as mentioned in Isaiah, came from a small fountain just outside the wall of Jerusalem. I believe it is now sought for in vain. “‘Talor smarrito dal drappel sonoro Ll rit rimiro immortalati in canto, Che giaccionst in silenzio, e obblio perduti, (Muti t lor fonti son, secche lor vene) Pur, per senno di Muse, ei son perenni, Lor mormorio perenne in tersi carm..” SALVINI, Lettera. Thus in English: 136 THE OBLIVIAD. Book II. How sin with scripture mingle in the book, And join Oneida’s with Siloa’s brook ; Me Hepworth hear ; opposing arts combine, And scenes licentious in the draught refine, 210 Nor all at once with hand obscene unveil, Lest modest Moxon, forced to stop the sale ; To public taste repugnant all such sights ; So keep your harlot close conceal’d in tights. NOTES. ** Sometimes, misguided by the tuneful throng, I look for streams immortaliz’d in song, That lost in silence and oblivion lye, (Dumb are their fountains and their channels dry) Yet run for-ever by the Muse’s skill, And in the smooth description murmur still,” Ibid. And join Oneida’s with Stloa’s brook ;} Since already forgotten by all Mankind, let it again be made known to them, that Hepworth Dixon wrote two books, one on the Holy Land, and another on the Uzholy ; for so I suppose I may call that washed, (but not cleansed,) by Oneida’s Creek. Ibid. Séloa’s| The vulgar pronunciation is in two syllables; but the primitive, and therefore the poetical, makes it three. Those who trace the history of languages, discover in them a constant tendency to contraction, or phonetic corruption, which Mr. Max Miiller attributes to that laziness natural to creatures using speech ; who, by syncope, contraction, and crasis, may reduce to a single inarticulate puff, what had been the material of three or four separate sounds, or as many words. Ver. 212, Lest modest Moxon, &c.] Mr. Swinburne, high priest of the Venus Meretrix, with so unchaste a hand was safposed to have unveiled his goddess, that Moxon, who kept the shop, as soon as a clamour began, gave orders to put him and his strumpet out of doors; thereby to prevent a de- scent from the police. VER, 214. harlot close conceal’d in tights.) What of it? Tight; he would not substitute /oose, as if in allusion to the manners of the harlot, which would have been superfluous. Ep. ATH. Book II. THE OBLIVIAD. 137 Of sounds a giggle here ascends the sky, 215 Till ‘‘ order,” ‘‘ order,” checks the gen’ral cry ; Though, rebel to all rule, still Swinburne stood, And, waving wide his hat, shouts d— me, good ! At length, ’mid much confusion, Hepworth wins Once more their ears, and thus again begins. 220 Some sland’rer ventures ; drag him into Court, And libel charge upon the foul report ; Indecent motives, mercenary views, And that for lucre you had raked the stews: Your honour injured, reputation lost, 225 The patient jury sit to count the cost; NOTES. Ibid. close conceal’d in tights.] As by precept of PeTRoNIus, a high authority : ‘« Aquum est induere nuptam ventum textilem” ? Which ventus textilis, or web of wind, was the same as the Coz vestes, the invention of the modiste Pamphile, our ¢ights, which displayed the woman but apparently naked ; or, as it is better expressed by PLINY, ‘ut denudet foeminas vestis.’? Ibid. JUVENAL was shocked at the licentiousness in his day, for the pictures were uncovered before the guests ; the next thing I expect, he says, is to see the ballet girls come dancing into the room, without their tights, @ la mode de Paris: ** Greece Discumbunt ; nec velari pictura jubetur ; Forsitan expectes ut Gaditana canoro Incipiat prurire choro.” Juv. Sat. xi, v. 162, For the pictures Juvenal himself has furnished an excuse : ** Paulatimque anima caluerunt mollia saxa, Et maribus nudas ostendit Pyrrha puellas,” Sat. i., v. 75. VER. 217. Swinburne] For amore particular account of this Gentleman, consult the penultimate part of Book III., with the ote, 138 THE OBLIVIAD. Book II. And that no wrong may unrequited fall, Give sixpence damages to cover all. ” NOTES. VER. 228. sixpence damages] An amount, if small, which yet was as amply sufficient to declare the principle, as if it had been as much as six pounds ! Ep, ATH. Ibid. sixpence damages to cover all.) **Mr. Hepworth Dixon, it appears, recently, (at a dinner given him by the Lotus Club, in New-York, October, 1874,) defended himself for writing Spiritual Wives, on the ground that it was a ‘ production of his heated youth.’ We all know that some men—and it is also said a few women— continue to make the period of youth extend far into life ; but it seems that Mr, Dixon is a boy of unusually mature years, though not of understand- ing. He is now fifty-three years old, and Spiritual Wives was published in 1867. So that he was at that time forty-six, and this he calls his ‘ heated youth.’ At what age does Mr. Dixon believe he will arrive at the years of discretion? Shall we say when he is one hundred and forty-six? In his heated youth (AXtat. 51,) he brought an action for libel against the Pal/ Mall Gazette, because that journal had openly charged him with writing indecent books, He laid his damages at a high figure; he appeared in the witness box, and told his doleful story ; his counsel made a pathetic address in his behalf; and at last the jury awarded him sixpence damages. He declared that his character had been injured, and there seemed to be no doubt of the fact ; and a jury of his countrymen estimated his character to be worth just twelve cents. The speech of Sir John Karslake at the trial referred to would form interesting reading for some of the audiences before which Mr. Dixon (still in his heated youth) now has the impudence to pre- sent himself as a lecturer.” ‘*N. Y. Times,” Oct. 30, 1874. Am. Ep, IMITATIONS. VER, 225. reputation lost,\ Cool. I should lose my character. Young C. That would be a fortunate epoch in your life, Cool. Lonpon AssuRANCE, Act I., Scene 1. Chartres would give a A/«m to any one for his ‘‘ reputation lost ;” that, in again losing it, he might make himself richer than ever, Book II. THE OBLIVIAD. At heart malignant ; this of virtues first ; Aim high, my friends, and of the bad be worst ; Sworn foes of Faith, of wrong the last defence, And champions chief of ill-got influence. From deep to deep in defamation sink, Stab with your pens, and poison with your ink; Do wanton wrong, lest sloth unnerve supine, And strike for skill, like friends of Catiline. Well paid, be mindful that your praise be thick, Baste well your goose, and some at least will stick ; Or, small the bribe, in neutral tones comply, And mix your acid with your alkaly. As thus: this poet scarce has reached his prime ; His verse is bad; but he’ll improve in time. NOTES. 139 230 235 240 VER, 229. At heart malignant ;| ‘‘ Before one can commence a true Critick, it will cost a man all the good qualities of his mind.” TALE oF A TuB: Digression concerning Criticks. Zoilus, (already mentioned, I believe,) an honest fellow, on being asked by one of his understrappers, why it was that he reviled all men, Because, said he, wishing to inflict other injury, I am impotent: 6 82, Morya yap kax@s BovAduevos, ob Sbvauat “ZELIAN. Var. Hist. Lib, xi., cap. 10. VER. 238. Baste well your goose, and some at least will stick ;] A borrowed rhyme ; for so it is in the adage, ‘‘lay it on thick, and some of it will stick.’’ IMITATIONS. VER. 231. Sworn foes of Faith, of wrong the last defence,} ‘* Jusque omne pereat; non sit 2 vestris malis Immune czlum.” SENEC. Thyest. Act i, v. 48 VER. 236. strike for skill, like friends of Catiline.] ‘Ne per otium torpescerent manus aut animus,” SALLUST, 140 THE OBLIVIAD. Book IIL But, bold to rise, should one your censure slight, Send all your shafts, and murder him outright ; His well-won titles to distinction hide, 245 And what you cannot blame, be sure deride ; Transpose, pervert, do all except confute, And your own blunder to the foe impute. As strength of bulwarks by their feeblest part Are gauged by skill’d in engineering art, 250 Some flaw conspicuous in blindness seek, And prove all worthless since a word is weak. *Gainst great Achilles point the missive steel, From corner where you skulk, and hit his heel ; Or, ready waiting with your iron rod, 255 Brain rev’rend Homer, should he chance to nod. Like Turkish tyrants, to suppress dispute,. The culprit gag, and strangle with a mute ; His prayer unheard, his just remonstrance vain, Toss’d undistinguish’d ’mid the heaps of slain. 260 For grace of style, what most unfitting find, And drawl in one dull monotone of mind; NOTES. VER. 245. His well-won titles to distinction hide,] The Athenzeum, desirous of cutting off an Azthor from all notice of the Public, gave out that he was ignorant of grammar; but knowing that his degree from a learned body gave the 4e to that assertion, the Editor, or his Lackey, printed the name without the title; you or your lackey, Dixon. But, ‘* Injuriarum remedium est OBLIVIO.” VER. 253. ’Gainst great Achilles, &.] When Achilles, enamoured of Polyxena, came to solicit her in marriage, Paris, who was a contemptible poltroon, hid behind the statue of Apollo, and aimed an arrow at his only vulnerable part. VER, 258. strangle with a mute ;] When the Athenzeum has made some assertion false in point of fact, and the Author sends a contradiction, no further notice is taken of him, and he is thus strangled by a mute. Book II. THE OBLIVIAD. - 14t Nor ‘level up,” a phrase late hawk’d through town, Be yours to follow nature, level down ; The lofty headlong by the vulgar cast, 265 The grov’ling lifted by the blown bombast. Base be the knave who in mere dulness halts ; Press on, and be distinguish’d for your faults ; Leave science far, on greatest aims intent, And gain the praises of astonishment : 270 Did ever blockhead so adroitly miss ! Sure never nonsense so profound as this ! Nor nature fear; your secret springs unlock, Or cut the unshaped numskull from the block. On some deep subject when intent, first think 275 How Swinburne, Browning, in like place would sink ; Or ask, of fustian which just now you raise, If bad enough for Tennyson to praise. : NOTES. Ver. 263. Mor ‘level up,.”] Level up, a recent cant in English poli- ticks, which is said to be hawked through town, as yet only in the journals, which are carried round by hawkers. VER. 274. cut the unshaped numskull, &c.} Agreeable to Aristotle’s theory of occult forms, that the Figure is in the Block, if you can only separate from it the adherent parts. IMITATIONS. VER. 275. On some deep subject when intent, first think How Swinburne, Browning, in like place would sink ;} Odxody nal Fas, Ful By Biaroveuev Syryoplas tt nal peyarodportyns Beduevoy, Kaddy dvawAarrecOa mais Wuxais, was by, ei rbxo, TavTd Tova? “Opnpos clwev, mas 8 Bv TAdrov } Anuoobévys Sywoay, } ev ioropig Oovxu- 3.3n-. Lon. de Sub, Sect. xiv., p. go. edit. Pearce. Ver. 277. Or ask, of fustian, &c.] “Er: 8& paAdov, ef Kgkslvo TH diavole «npoovmoypdpomev, was by réd5e at Sw? eyod Aeysuevov, wapoy “Ounpos Hrovoer, } AnuosBévys, Hf was ky em rderg diereOqoay. Idem et ibid. 142 ‘ THE OBLIVIAD. Book II. Let the insipid the dosed reader sate, Be feeble, trifling, and effeminate ; 280 Scant fruit of thought, with words o’erload your tree, Mash free your malt, and water well your tea. Of cockney tipplers the full thirst assuage, And calculate the penny in the page: Three pints, long measure, to the quart you took, 285 Three much diluted volumes to the book. NOTES. VER. 284. calculate the penny in the page :| An enumeration which, if small in the aggregate, is large if the book reviewed be large, or one admitting of extracts, from which we never deduct more than fifty per cent., ad valorem. Ep. ATH. VER. 285. Three pints, long measure, to the quart, you took, Three much diluted volumes to the book.) The object being to dilute the book like the beer, and so do away with the bad effect, had the poison been concentrated ; whereas the nausea occa- sioned by an overdistended stomach, or brain, causes to reject the whole, and serve as its own emetick : ‘© A bad effect, but from a noble cause.” Ep. ATH, Ibid. Three pints, long measure, to the quart vou took,| For some time past, ‘to meet the requirements of the age,” the brewers have added a third pint to the quart, which is known as ‘‘the long pull:” a deleterious compound, so much worse in quality as the quantity is greater, and made up of whatever acid, often poisonous, ingredients may take from the insipidity of the draught. Used for this purpose is an acrid bitter, derived from nitric acid and rags, called gicric ; very much as is the union of green vitriol and galls, in the service of Reviewers and others, which acting on the rags, as macerated into paper, gives the necessary virulence, and, irritating the palate, corrupts the heart. VER. 286. Three much diluted volumes to the book.] This must apply, especially, to the novel, which, by authority, as derived from usage, requires three volumes, before ‘‘ dilute to taste ;” in the same Book II. THE OBLIVIAD. 143 In true tautology e’en me defy ; Repeat the same, and let the same be dry; The great make little, and the little less, Till all inanity and nothingness. 290 But now, the thrice fill’d flagon held in view, To make more plain the argument he drew, He takes occasion modestly to drain, Licks his lips first, and then proceeds again. All science Lully could complete impart 295 In three short months, by his Transcendent Art ; NOTES. manner as the drama demands five acts, and the epic from one to two dozen cantos, or books. Other works are in lib, i., lib. ii., lib. iii., and so on, ad libitum. VER. 291. the thrice filld flagon| Let us drawbreath. One flagon, two quarts; thrice filled, six quarts; three pints to the quart, 18 pints: whence it is clear that Dixon was drinking for a wager ; a common thing among the lower classes. Ibid. the thrice fill'd flagon] In this enumeration is not included the drink he took on first rising, which, allowing one at each interruption, being two, previous to the present, would make four ‘‘ pulls,” in all. Thrice, most likely, is inserted on account of the measure, or quantity, of the verse. ‘A pull, a long pull, and a pull together ;”? but that is when a bumper is drunk, VER. 295. All science Lully, &c.] Raymundus Lullus, philosopher of Laputa, a shining light in the Dark Ages, who in his work the ‘‘ Great Art’? shows, how by placing mysteriously certain circular and triangular , IMITATIONS. VER, 293. He takes occasion modestly to drain,] Agreeable to classical usage : “ Liquido cum plasmate guttur Mobile collueris,” Pers. Sat. i, v. 17. 144 THE OBLIVIAD. Book II. To most illiterate show how with ease Discourse all day, and on what theme they please. NOTES. diagrams, inscribed with the letters of the alphabet, on a machine, you had only to give it a twist, when subjects and predicates chanced into such a va- riety of combinations as supplied ready for use all sorts of definitions, axioms, propositions, criticisms, reviews, and knowledge whatever. One of Beat- tie’s sons made a model of Lully’s mill, and set it a-going in presence of the class at Aberdeen ; whence that great number of discursive and metaphysi- cal works at that time and since in Scotland. Through delay of the Engraver I have not been able to insert, in the pre- sent edition, a wood cut of Lully’s machine, and, not quite to disappoint the reader, will give the outlines of the first of the kind ever made, or that used at Laputa, where Lully was Professor, arid from which he manifestly took the hint. «The superficies was composed of several bits of wood about the bigness of a dye, but some larger than others, They were all linked together by slender wires. These bits of wood were covered on every square with paper pasted on them; and on these papers were written all the words of their language, in their several moos, tenses, and declensions ; but without any Book II. ‘THE OBLIVIAD. 145 The skill to criticise hear all who seek ; I'll teach the whole at furthest in a week. 300 NOTES. order. Around the edges of the frame, (as shewn in the engraving,) were forty handles, held by as many lads, who, on a signal, giving them a sudden turn, the whole disposition of the words was instantly changed. In this way, at every turn, the engine was so contrived, that the words shifted into new places, as the square bits of wood moved upside down. The words being read over, the broken sentences were collected, and, after correction, so arranged, as to form a complete body of the arts and sciences, especially that of criticism, which is the most arbitrary and technical of all.” On the whole, a clumsy contrivance, requiring so very many hands, and greatly increasing the expense; as in our automatic composing machines, which have no practical value: they do the work, it is true, but the cost, if any thing, is greater, as well in preparing copy, as in the setting of it up. Might not an exception be made in the matter of vast works, such as dic- tionaries, and encyclopedias, which are but a sort of dictionaries, such as Appleton’s, on which, in a spacious room, in the upper lofts of their build- ing, I saw a great number of work-people, some of whom earned not less than 75¢. a day, all busy marking bits of paper, or cutting them with scissors, and pasting them together, So that there remained little more than to turn on steam, and go to print: the whole being a work so mechanical and me- thodical, that a good machine might be got to do it, and without the addi- tional cost of steam, already provided for the press, Expense is thus saved, and profits increased, which are the main objects. Am. Ep. VER. 296. in three short months,| February, March, and April; a conjecture of our own: for February, except when intercalary, having but twenty-eight days, and April but thirty, all three put together may be denominated, collectively, so to speak, short, though March, one of them, has 31 days. Another reason for which supposition 7s, that Lully could more easily teach his Art in this season, although in days numerically short, as the faculties have then a new vigour, and nonsense crops up unbidden, like weeds in a garden. Ep. ATH. VER. 299. The skill to criticise hear all who seek ; Pu teach the whole at furthest in a week.) I lately saw, on the cover of the Athenzeum, an advertisement from one of Mr. Dixon’s pupils, which I here transcribe: ‘* A young man, having some 7 146 THE OBLIVIAD. Book If. The grand arcanum thus your own you call, No knowledge labour, and make boast of all ; Let educated dogs, let donkeys show The Arts they got, enough to seem to know. With much unmeaning lay emphatic stress 305 On ‘ feature,’ ‘ platitude,’ ‘ productiveness ;’ NOTES. of his time unemployed, would be glad to write Reviews. Address, Tyro, care Editor.” VER. 300. in a week.] So as to be ready for the next number of the Athenzeum, Ep. ATH. VER. 303. Let educated dogs, let donkeys show The Arts they got,] Few creatures, indeed, can compare, in matter of training, with a dog; but for the Ass, a certain degree of awkwardness still adheres to him, of which, to do him justice, he seems sensible himself: ‘* Let every man,” said he, “look out for himself,” when he danced among the chickens. Like the promenading pots, in La FonTAINE, ‘Clopin clopant comme ils peuvent.” IMITATIONS. VER. 300. J’ teach the whole at furthest in a week.] The ‘‘ Preceptor” in Lucian is less modest; he can engage to perfect his pupil before sun-set. Whether the Author had the Greek Wit before him, at the time he wrote, remains doubtful, although several points of resemblance may be traced between this speeeh of Dixon and that of Julius Pollux, Kéu:le rolvuy 7d pwéyorov piv chy duaSlav, elra Spdoos emi rovroiss nal KAAws 88 TéAuav ad avacxurriay. aida 58, ) emelxeay, }) perpiirnra, epvdnua, olor amdarme, axpeia yap, cal Srevayria rh mpdypart. &AAR pv nal Bohy bri peyiorny, nal wédros dvaloxvyrov, kal Bddioua, ofov Td eudv. Luciani Rheetor. Precept. Op. tom. vii., ed, Lehman, Lips. 1828. Am. Ep, Book II. : THE OBLIVIAD. 147 ‘ Conventional,’ ‘ exhaustive,’ ‘commonplace,’ ‘ Suggestive,’ ‘ but,’ ‘exceptional’ the case ; What most in sound, what least in sense excels, And chime the changes on your dozen bells. 310 To find but idle, make yourself the flaw, And criticise the book you never saw ; NOTES. VER. 305. With much unmeaning] Macaulay, speaking of Johnson, de- clares that ‘his criticisms, if such as you sometimes must object to, have always a meaning; a distinction, he adds, to which the greater part of what is now-a-days called criticism can make no pretensions, VER. 306. ‘feature,’ ‘platitude,’ ‘ productiveness ;*| The style sinks in this, and a few verses following; to approach, as I sup- pose, that of the Speaker. A usage, I fear, which will hardly be allowed the Author, in whom the same elevation will be expected, as if he were writing in Heroic Poetry itself, of which, said Dryden, the Satire is un- doubtedly a species. However, in Pope also are four insipid verses, forced upon him by the subject : ‘©?Tis true, on Words is still our whole debate, Dispute of Me or Ze, of aut or at, To sound or sink in Cano, O or A, Or give up Cicero to C or K.” Dunciap, Book iy., v. 219. In defence of which, if called upon, he could hardly have quoted the follow- ing line, out of Athenseus, as it only occurs in an Epigram: To oiv, kal opwiv, kal ro ply, Ade 7d viv. Am. Ep. Ver. 310. And chime the changes on your dozen bells.] To wit, 479,001,600. By which it is plain what a vast variety of know- ‘ledge Hepworth supplied his hearers with. For the art is not that of learn- ing much, but of varying little; whereby one may fill a whole volume with a single line, as was done with the following famous hexameter, by trans- position only: “Tot, tibi, sunt, Virgo, dotes, quot, sidera, czlo.” Pietatis thaumata in Protheum Parthenicum, unius libri versum, et unius versus Librum, Stellarum numerus sive formis 1022, variatum, Auct, Eryc. PUTEANUS. 148 THE OBLIVIAD. : Book II. One only care ; affix not now the blame On what just lauded in another’s name. Severe in censure ; but when with good reason, 315 ‘This book by much the best of all the season ;’ Nor prate of conscience, but, as you are hired, “In fact, ’tis all that could have been desired.’ NOTES. VER. 313. One only care; affix not now the blame On what just lauded in another's name.] In this passage of his Oration Hepworth alluded, no doubt, to that acute critick, a friend of his, supposed to have hanged himself, who spoke so con- temptuously of what he thought the Editor’s preface to Johnson’s Dictio- nary, and so much lauded the original one; which, however, happened to be the same, and which the Editor had but reprinted, without any preface of his own. Of this accident The Pall Mall Gazette gave an account, in a criticism on last week’s Reader : ‘* The critick of the Reader was reviewing Latham’s edition of Johnson’s Dictionary, in which Johnson’s well-known preface was, as‘a matter of course, given. The unwary critic, no doubt pressed hard for copy, and without time to read anything beyond the preface, read Dr. Johnson’s pre- face, and mistook it for Dr. Latham’s, whereon he commenced thus in his ‘first notice.’—‘In the Author’s Preface Johnson has altogether disap- peared. The brag in this production, when contrasted with the execution of the editor’s work, is simply unbearable. We do not wish to kick a man who is down, but we do beg Messrs. Longman to cancel this * Author’s Preface,’ and to substitute one for it which will do a little more justice to Johnson's work, and put the present editor’s in'its proper place, as far as they like below his great predecessor’s,’—It was Dr. Latham who had dis- appeared, and not Dr. Johnson, There never was in all time a more dry, solid, laborious scholar, utterly incapable of boasting than Dr, Latham. The fall Mall rather unkindly looks’ forward to the Reader’s ‘second no- tice.’ We feel more delicacy in the matter. Ifthe unhappy man has the literary instinct at all, he will be a wretched exile on board an Australian steamer, by this time, distrusted by his fellow passengers, as the victim of cerebral excitement, and unable to express to them that the disease he is suffering from is congestion of Johnson and Latham on the brain.” SPECTATOR. Book II. THE OBLIVIAD. 149 ‘A great success,’ ‘ artistic’ graces shine, And last, not least, ‘ the language is so fine.’ 320 With these be mindful to mix in conceit, And mark in me how fine and vulgar meet ; But others wanting, shall one precept save, Whate’er you lose besides, preserve the knave. More would have said, but burst a gen’ral cheer, 325 And from each ale-wash’d windpipe, hear him, hear ! NOTES. VER. 320. ‘ the language is so fine.’| The learned Hepworth seemed not to know that this fashionable expression is without the sanction of Quintilian, who says that words have in themselves no excellence, but take it from the context: ‘* Per se nullam virtutem habent.” Inst. Orat., Lib. viii., Cap. iii, de Ornatu, VER. 325. More would have said, &c.| What reader regrets not that Hepworth, by the enthusiasm of his 4earers, was denied the peroration, as was Demosthenes by the usage of Athens? This note by a ‘*‘ BosTON ADMIRER,”’ for which see ‘* Men of the Time.” Jbid. As that of Hepworth here, so Flecknoe’s Speech was also cut short : s ‘¢ For Bruce and Longvil had «a trap prepared, And down they sent the yet declaiming bard.” It would seem but the part of an enemy to allude at all to DRYDEN’s famous Satire, in presence of which, it has been said, all other the best writings of the sort appear to disadvantage. ‘‘In point of pleasantry,” said WARTON, “various sorts of wit, humour, satire, both oblique and direct, contempt and indignation, clear diction, and melodious versification, this poem is perhaps the best of its kind in any language.” It was from this piece that Pope borrowed the plan of his Dunciad, and some of the thoughts, IMITATIONS. VER. 321. With these be mindful to mix in conceit, And mark in me how fine and vulgar meet ;| “ Kal pédos avaloxuvrov, Kal Bddioua, olov Td eudy.” Lucian. op. cit., ut supra. Am. Ep. 150 THE OBLIVIAD. Book II, Melodious Chorley then thy accents drown’d, And benches proof ‘gainst kicking broke by sound. Dismiss’d the throng: but first beside her placed Her son the Hoodwink’d, and once more embraced ; 330 Who long distinguish’d in those Inns of Courts Where Grub Street sages write their dark reports, NOTES. Our Author also had manifestly read it with close attention ; but as to par- ticular matters, he has taken nothing. If he desired to draw attention to these rival performances, it could only have been to throw light on the con- duct and purpose of his own, identical with the other two, as a satire on a set of Scribblers. Am. Ep, Ibid, burst a gen'ral cheer,] Same as at rising, except that then it was called a roar, VER, 326. ale-wash'd windpipe,| What ignorance of anatomy, physiology, and surgery, in this versifier ! the wind-pipe, as the word signi- fies, giving passage to the air, and not to solids and fluids, Ep. ATH, True, Mr, Editor, except when your liquor happens to go the wrong way, you know. VER. 327. Melodious Chorley| Mr. Chorley, I believe, is ‘* musical cri- tick”? to a certain obscure publication; but however that may be, (for I have no wish to degrade any man, ) it can at least be inferred, from the dif- ference of voice, that he mellows it with less gross liquors than the other applauders. Thus also in Younc: ** Whether with ale irriguous or Champagne.” VER. 330. and once more embraced ;| Such is a fair specimen of this author (?); once more embraced, whereas we were only told that the goddess simply laid her hand on Mr, Dixon’s cranium, ‘laid her hand,” &c, ; a mode of embracing now first heard of. Ep, ATH. IMITATIONS. VER, 328, benches proof gainst kicking broke by sound | *¢Cum fregit subsellia versu.”” Juv. Sat. vii., v. 86, Book II. THE OBLIVIAD. 15! Superior now in ev’ry critic hall, Names Censor, and Misguider General ; For his bad merits thus o’er all disgraced, 335 Of morals best reformer, and of taste. On bench now sat ’bove the unlearned band, A scourge of scorpions in his dexter hand, Extended this to overawe the tribe, His left behind him to reject the bribe, 340 ’*Twixt ears of owl, for wig, half hid his face, His Lordship thus decides, unheard, the case: If sense this author as, let some one find it; And, grammar! but ’twas not his cue to mind it. To search him further is not worth the pains ; 345 And then, so fanciful in what he feigns ! His wit old-fashion’d ; and, upon the whole, With all these scraps of Greek, I’m sure he stole. Wherefore, recorded let the sentence stand, Twice twenty lashes, and a reprimand. 350 NOTES. VER. 340. to reject the bribe,} : Lronice ? Am. Ep, VER. 347. His wit old-fashion’d ;) ‘* How does he fancy, we can sit, To hear his out-of-fashion wit.” On the Death of Dr. Swirt. VER. 350, Twice twenty lashes, and a reprimand,] It is not quite certain that this ~efrimand, over and above, was according to the Code, which allowed but twice twenty, that is, forty stripes, as the maximum of punishment, without any mention of a reprimand, In the IMITATIONS. VER. 335. his bad merits] *« By merit raised to that bad eminence,” PARADISE Lost, B. ii, v. 5. 152 THE OBLIVIAD. Book II. Then doffs his robe, and to the wretch applies, Unheeded quite, or simply mock’d, his cries ; Bids bind the next, and makes the censure feel Who dares bring money, broke upon the wheel ; Now signs the sentence, now the torture guides, 355 And headman Hepworth is the judge besides. NOTES. days of Slavery, I used to hear the Negroes say, ‘‘ You ’ll get forty;” for the Black Code was formed on the old Roman law, which they had know- ledge of practically, Many among the Savage nations had their arithmetic at their fingers’ end, and could count as far as ten, but no farther; after which, they pointed to the hair on the head, But the Black, from his ‘*contact with civilized man,” had become acquainted with scoring, and could count from the lines on his back. The wrinkles on a man’s face, numbered his years, said JUVENAL : ‘* Facies tua computat annos.” Sat. vi., v. 198. Am. Eb. VER. 355. Mow signs the sentence, now the torture guides,| Peter the Great often acted in this double capacity ; ‘I can civilize others,” he was wont to say, ‘* but I cannot civilize myself.” When the work was heavy, Hepworth used to hand it over to an understrapper, or under-sériger, as he used to call him, in his better humour, VER. 356. headman] Used, poetically, in place of Langman ; that creature of modern humanity, who simply induces ‘‘ suspended animation,’? by means of a noose; which leaves a man still in possession of his head, and only takes his life. Further, it is, I must confess, in deference to classical taste that I have used this word headman, for the Ancients studiously avoided all inauspicious vocables, such as ‘ Jail,’ ‘ Executioner,’ the ‘ Furies,’ which they mentioned, severally, as the Hotel, the Finisher, when the last hand is given to any thing, and, respectfully, the Ladies. The Romans used to say, he has lived; wishing, as Bacon noticed, to retain something of life in the words that ex- pressed it already extinct, But, in respect of Authors, would it not be better to say simply, without any oddivious additions, he published, which conveys all the consequences in itself. Book II. THE OBLIVIAD. 153 But arts o’er arts, and great to greater rise Men train’d at length in skill to criticise ; To teach the teacher, and supreme to sit In utmost exercise of human wit. 360 Since first invented how to guide the pen, Some six have written of the sons of men; The rest mere scribblers ; or six more at most Some pages passable at best can boast. Look back; more strange, not one confess’d appears 365 A critick true in full three thousand years ; Imagined monster, when conjoin’d in one Longinus, Aristotle, Addison ; Of this the feeling, that the force of thought, With all which fancy in the third had wrought. 370 NOTES. VER. 367. Jmagined monster, &c.] ‘‘ Of the three requisites to make a just critic, mentioned above, (namely, strong good sense, lively imagination, and exquisite sensibility, )” says WarTon, ‘‘ Aristotle seems to have pos- sessed the first, in the highest degree ; Longinus, the second ; and Addison, the third,”"—A remark, in making which, this celebrated critick, I venture to surmise, had in his mind what the Italians were wont to say of three dis- tinguished Preachers of their country: ‘‘ Lupus movet ; Toletus docet ; Panicarola delectat ;” of whom it has been said that to form one complete model, it would be required to unite all three. VER. 368. Longinus,] LoncINnus himself attributes this perfection to various and protracted study ; ‘'% yap rdv Adyar Kplots ToAATS eort welpas Tedcuraioy emryévynua,” for to judge of writing, says he, is an art which can be matured in any one only at the end of a long process of cultivation, If, therefore, we are left to conclude, from these opinions, that the most precious gifts of nature, polished again and again, alone complete the critick, what, I would ask, are we to think of those who arrogate this title now-a- days, persons entirely illiterate, and incurably lazy, and who have taken to the trade of reviewing only because, through excess of native dulness, they are unfit for any other ? the work is already done to hand; they have only to misunderstand, and distort it. ae x 154 THE OBLIVIAD. Book II. Thus far the curious: now these Isles survey, And count the criticks as they throng the way ; The dailies six apiece, the weeklies two, The score hack authors kept on each review ; The briefless barrister, the schoolboy band 375 On penny magazine who try their hand ; Each half starved outcast, Parias of each trade, Each spinster pale, unvendible old maid ; All these in thousands haste to teach the town, And put infallible their dogma down. 380 No crew contemptible, enroll’d of late, Each right secured, in body corporate, Of these the many make the master rich, But work and want themselves, like those that stich ; With ill-join’d shoddy to the shop repair, 385 Stand, threadbare, back, and with mechanic air ; NOTES. VER. 373. the weeklies two,| Contemptible ! Why, we have two-and- twenty, besides double that number of saps, Ep. ATH. VER. 378. Each spinster pale,| A moral and pathological question arises here, is the spinster pale because she is a writer, or is she a writer because she is pale, and for the same reason a spinster ? VER. 381. No crew contemptible,] That is to say, zn point of numbers, Ver. 385. With ill-join’d shoddy| I find in Southey’s Commonplace Book, the following, as a note, by the Editor: *« The stretching of broad cloth and devil’s dust are no new inventions. Witness good old Latimer. ‘If his cloth be eighteen yards long, he will set him ona rack, and stretch him out with ropes, and rack him till the sinews break again, while he hath brought him to twenty-seven yards. When they have brought him to that perfection, they have a pretty feat to thick him again. He makes me a powder for it, and plays the poticary ; they call it flock powder : they do so incorporate it to the cloth, that it is wonderful to consider ; truly a good invention,’” Book II. THE OBLIVIAD. 155 The pittance take, then to the tap-room press, And pass the next three days in drunkenness. NOTES. Not unlike this is the method of those who make shoddy of the literary kind: they set their brain on a rack ; stretch their scant threads of know- ledge, and this of the basest sort, so as to cover as many pages as possible ; then fill in with garbled passages from the sheets reviewed, expletives, and misquotations; which make the devil-dust ‘of the web: truly a good in- vention. Ibid. to the shop repair,] ‘‘ Literature is, like every thing else, a trade in England; I might almost call it a manufactory.”—This the obser- vation of a Foreigner. EspriELLA, Letter LVI. VER. 387. to the tap-room press,} Among those detached sheets I mentioned in the Introduction, are many which I have failed to find a place for in the text, as the following : Hard were the task to name each scribe, or shew Who hid on igh, or whose retreat delow ; Or, swill where Whittington adorns the Strand, And gathers all the wits of all the land, Where * * * * makes the sutty seat his choice, And * * * * * brogues forth his Hibernian voice. Am. Ep. VER. 388. And pass the next three days in drunkenness.] The Editor of the Athenzeum affects to doubt, ‘‘ in the interest of his call- ing,” Miss Braddon’s representation, that hack authors, meaning, princi- pally, reviewers, ‘‘ may be divided into rogues who drink with moderation, and rogues who spend their earthly existence in a state bordering on dediri- um tremens,” —** Our own experience zzclines us to believe in the gexeral IMITATIONS. VER. 378. unvendible old maid ;] «Silence is only commendable In a neat’s tongue dried, and a maid not vendible.” MERCHANT OF VENICE, A. i, s. 1. But if the tongue besilent, the pen may speak, and with the more reason ; for so also a natural mute expresses himself by movement of his fingers, though without a pen between them, 156 THE OBLIVIAD. Book II. Thread, cotton, needle, Moses makes provide ; Pen, Hepworth, paper, with the ink beside ; 390 No trifling drawback when three pence remain, And debt now goads them to the desk again ; Some wretched rhymer with much fulsome praise To puff eternal poet, for he pays; Me thrust, with reason, ’mid the outcast tribe, 395 Undoubted dunce, for I disdain’d to bribe ; Of his fair fame some envied student rob And, just as they are order’d, write the job. Yet far from me to bare their mean distress ; My pity take, poor starvelings of the press ; 400 Secure, though in contempt, to skulk from day, And count in misery your wretched pay. Or, rather, here, ere yet too late, attend, Nor slight the admonitions of a friend. ” NOTES. honesty of criticism.”—-Good! Hepworth is facetious, A little lower down he brings in a word about moral decency, . VER. 389. Thread, cotton, needle, Moses makes provide ; Pen, Hepworth, paper, with the ink beside ; ‘What is the meaning of this? are we to be told that Moses provides thread, needle, pen, hepworth, and paper? What is this hepworth, or is it ha’p’orth, abbreviation for half-penny-worth ? and that Moses provided to that extent, ‘‘this extent, no more,” and that they must provide the rest themselves? We hope we have made darkness visible, Ep. ATH. VER. 391. when three pence remain,| The classical viaticum. Johnson, on an occasion, began by relating: ‘* At the time that I came to London, with three pence in my pocket.”— “ What’s that, eh, what’s that,” said Garrick, who had overheard him, ‘‘thripence in your pocket ?”’—‘‘ Yes, David,” rejoined the old fellow, “ three pence in my pocket, and twopence ha’penny in thine.” VER. 404. the admonitions of a friend.) There is not-a little of the pathetic in these last few lines; wherein the Author, as if desirous of making amends for the few harsh things he had Book II. THE OBLIVIAD. 157 Is there no dirty work but of the pen? 405 Are midnight shovels held by better men? Does other murder your base soul affright Save such with poison’d arrow in the night ? Garroter, then; and should your chance not save, Be coward stript, and get the lash you gave; 410 NOTES. said, in the way of jest, before, assumes son sérieux, and gives some excel- lent practical advice: for, reflecting that, as no one is suddenly bad, so no one immediately good, he advises a gradual reformation, and to rise to acts less criminal and less revolting, as when the arrow is used, but without the poison ; until, at length, garroting becomes a virtue, and to black shoes infinitely better than to blacken reputation, Am. Ep. VER. 405. Js there no dirty work but of the pen ?| ‘*L’art d’écrire est devenu en plusieurs pays un vil métier, dans lequel des libraires, qui ne savent pas lire, paient des mensonges et des futilités 4 tant la feuille, & des écrivains mercénaires, qui ont fait de la littérature la plus lache des professions,”’ VOLTAIRE, Siécle de Louis xiv., mot Saurin, Jos. VER. 407. Does other murder your base soul affright Save such with poison’d arrow in the night? When Keats, ‘‘ad limina Apostolorurn pergens,’’ on his way to Rome, (fer the good of his soul, I would fain imagine, as of his health,) was pursued, and killed by an “ Article,’ of the poisoned sort, Byron, with all the world, denounced the barbarous act; but, said the Assassin,-safe in the dark, ‘‘ he would have died whether or no.” VER. 409. Garroter, then ;| That is, since he has not courage for open and manly murder, let him strangle in the dark, Am. Eb, Ibid. should your chance not save, Be coward stript, and get the lash you gave ;} Whipping is no longer used in England, except for the ‘‘ cowardly garrot- er,” who, if chance does not save him, that is, if caught, is stripped and lashed ; retributive justice, sould the fellow happen to be a reviewer, who had formerly applied the lash himself: ‘* get the lash you gave,” as in the text, Am. Eb. 158 THE OBLIVIAD. Book II. Whence warning taken, all vile courses flee, And own the reformation due to me. Let * * * * profit by such hints as these, And be his own transporter o’er the seas ; As pickpurse, * * * never more defame, 415 In wholesome dread lest I divulge his name ; NOTES. VER. 412. own the reformation due to me.] Never did humanity speak in terms more tender. Am. Ep. Ibid. reformation] Mere fanaticism, Poverty, laziness, the itch, prostitution, and scribbling, are vices of the social state, and all the efforts of the philanthropists can not prevail against them. ‘Tis but the original sin which breaks out in us; the form of it only being different, with the organ in which it discovers itself. Whence, all that can be done is, to re- gulate, and, by regulating, direct nature into the proper channels, which, if we open up, or attempt to-cleanse, we but make vice more familiar, and discover the ways of it. Thus, shut up one house of ill fame, another house opens; and so, though you were to wall up all Wellington St., every back lane, down to the Thames, would still remain open. Ep, ATH. VER. 414. And be his own transporter oer the seas ;] ‘We, in this country, send our malefactors to the Penitentiary ; but in Eng- land they send them beyond seas, to Botany Bay, or elsewhere. The rogue, however, sometimes goes into voluntary exile, to give the slip to the police, or to a bad reputation, Am, Eb. IMITATIONS. VER. 415. As pickpurse, * * * never more defame,] ‘* Good name, in man, and woman, dear my lord, Is the immediate jewel of their souls: Who steals my purse, steals trash; ’tis something, nothing ; ?Twas mine, ’tis his, and has been slave to thousands: But he, that filches from me my good name, Robs me of that, which not enriches him, And makes me poor indeed.’’ Wherefore, on the authority of SHAKESPEARE himself, 4 libeller turned thief rises in character: additional proof of the sincerity of our Author's advice, even, as in the present instance, where it seems to be but ironical. Am. Ep. Book II. THE OBLIVIAD. 159 And * *, who long had stoop’d to stain reviews, Keep his crouch’d posture still, and black but shoes: But all alike from Athenaeum door Turn off, and in that kind offend no more. 420 Meanwhile whom wealth at ease allows to sit Above the rest at distance infinite, NOTES. VER. 418. Keep his crouch'd posture, &c.| Brings to mind the remark of Swirr: ‘* Ambition often puts men upon doing the meanest offices: so climbing is performed in the same posture with creeping.” And so also, whether one holds a blacking-brush, or a blacking-pen, he stoops the same, Am, Ep, Ver. 419. But all alike from Atheneum door Zurn off,) Meaning, I suppose, that whatever else they turned ¢o, this Athenzeum they should turn from, Am. Ep. Ibid. Athengum] Again! Ep. ATH, IMITATIONS. VER. 420. Turn off,] This early pause in the verse is intended for the greater emphasis, as in the following: Thy 8 Erepov tlpel peydrap KAnida wap’ Spov TAGE. Ivrap. Lib. v., v. 146. ‘ Quid moror? an mea Pygmalion dum mecenia frater Destruat ?” fENEID, Lib. iv., v. 325. ‘Tum freta diffundi, rapidisque tumescere ventis Jussit.” Ovip. Met. Lib. i, v. 36, * And over them triumphant Death his dart Shook.” PaRADISE Lost, B. xi., v. 4gr. ‘¢ Amphion there the loud creating lyre Strikes,”’ Porr, Temple of Fame, v. 86. The rest in this last, it is remarkable, is on the identical word with Homer, MAjzZ—a monosyllable, in which the Latin is defective, as the English redundant. 160 THE OBLIVIAD. Book II. On blood who bulky grown of ev’ry slave Successive sent to an untimely grave, ‘A lord perhaps and lackey in his train,’ 425 In all the insolence of ill-got gain, Lolls in his coach with self-complacent air, Nor knows contempt when all the vulgar stare. NOTES. VER. 421, whom wealth at ease allows to sit] It is certain that the Proprietors of the shoddy factory in Wellington Street have made, in former days, more money in a single week than all the great poets, those but just now quoted, and the rest, ever made, put all together, in the whole course of their lives, VER. 422. Above the rest at distance infinite,] At Christmas, when Authors, Thieves, and Beggars, share the axnual din- ner. VER. 423, On blood who bulky grown of ev'ry slave Successive sent to an untimely grave,] Can not something like a factory act be passed? since in these shoddy shops, as well as in those of the uther sort, not only is the term of human life short- ened, and the body cramped, but the mind too, and the morals depraved : every object united of the primitive ‘‘ enactment.” We have it on the exact authority of Statistics, that nothing so much shortens human life as dust, which would seem to bring men prematurely to the primitive material from which they sprung. Hence those who work in plaster-of-Paris are very short-lived, bakers, and those who cut files, or point needles, Next to which, or what is most dry, in point of mortality, comes what is most mozs¢, as gin, and the like. Wherefore it is ‘that we find, of all mechanics, shoddy writers the most deciduous, who are at once assailed by one cause and the other, the moist and the dry, or, rather, the dry and the moist, which are opposite conflicting elements; and this, whatever a great wit has advanced to the contrary : ‘‘The dust in smaller particles arose, Than those which fluid bodies do compose: Contraries in extremes do often meet, *Twas now so dry, that you might call it wet.” ARBUTHNOT, Book II. THE OBLIVIAD. 161 And is this he, and these the hireling tools, Redoubted teachers of the mass of fools ; 430 Who spit their venom on each work of art, Dishonest stain, but of the stone no part; Wash’d off by time, when all save worth decays, And crowds indignant swell the gen’ral praise ? But, undistinguish’d all, a fleeting brood, @ 435 The rogue reviewing, and the dolt review’d, Since emulous to urge the race to shame, And snatch the prize of an inverted fame ; Superfluous rage to meditate the blow, And press the wretch so soon to sink below, 440 Each name denied him where applause outlives, And resurrection save what Satire gives. NOTES. VER. 431. Who spit their venom on each work of art,] Nothing so divine as to escape them: ‘‘and they spat upon him;” we know Wo it was that suffered that indignity, VER. 442. Satire] “Satire,” said SwiFT, ‘‘is reckoned the easiest of all wit; but I take it to be otherwise in very bad times: for it is as hard to satirize well a man of distinguished vices, as to praise well a man of dis- tinguished virtues.” Precisely the difficulty I labour under. My predeces- sors had men of no mean abilities to ridicule ; but what is despicable is al- ready beneath notice: yet such are those that I must rake from their ken- nels, END OF BOOK THE SECOND. THE OBLIVIAD. ns Boox THE THIRD. THE OBLIVIAD. BOOK THE THIRD. ARGUMENT. INCE signified in the close of the last Book, that out of Oblivion there might, possibly, be a short redemp- tion, the Poet takes his stand on the edge of the Deep, and, by means of tackle which he had borrowed from Atlantic Cable Company, proceeds to drag up the Scrib- blers, with their works. But, first, having tossed aside a sedge of loose Diurnal Sheets, he invokes the Muses to the arduous attempt, in the manner of Homer, that they might repeat to him the names of the chief Blockheads at least and their books. Bulwer ts first brought up, together with a bulk of play, politicks, and novel ; through all which, however, is discernible, as lead in mines, a vein of romance. He is portrayed at full length, unlike the picture before his book, in his several parts of fop, philosopher, and poet. Next, Tennyson, with the laurel defiled with mud, ts dragged aloft. Ob- tains the merited applause, who could hide the bad be- neath the singular. Alternately groveling and bombas- tic, he is collozuially careless and dull elaborately. His 166 ARGUMENT. doggerel on Balaklava. Parasitic and stuck to Tennyson, Buchanan is now laid hold of, whom a little practice may make as badintime. The discord of his‘ whuzele- whazzle” is noticed, together with a‘ weight of peep,” and other nonsense. After these Swinbyrne is angled up, in such posture as dog from Thames. Had taught Mr. Fohn Bull to dine on chimeras; very vain of amagpie coat, piebald of Greek and English, a youth whos surpassed the chief of his contemporaries in confounding the confused. His escapade in Grub Street. But from pits far deeper Browning ts next dredged up; one of . strange shape » intolerant of day ; a sort of lusus, whom Barnum had caught, caged, and exhibited. At length, moping about, he finds a thing very uncommon in these days,a Book, of which an epitome is given. In nook apart, on the Western side, from a gregarious crowd, a pair of poets, twins, like the Siamese, are taken, Whit- man and Saltus, of whom the former is pronounced the most inscrutable. Of the same school, Holland ts here laid hold of, lost in a fog, and. parent of children, pur- blind as himself. After whom a throng unnumbered is weighed up, great and small, as in a dragnet, whose names alone are recorded , for as the Poet was proceeding to examine them separately, they slipped from his hand, as fish ave wont, and he could not again catch them. Only one snatched, who once Longfellow, maestro of dissonance, and hoarser than Codrus. The Poet ex- presses the intensity of his pain; in despite of which, however, he ts forced to laugh at the extraordinary hob- ble of this author: in which good humour this third Book of the Obliviad concludes ; just in the same manner as the first of the Iliad, (to compare great things with ARGUMENT. 167 small,) where the gods are like to split at sight of Vul- can, having both legs lame, as he limped round with the nectar. "“AaBeotos 8 dp évdpto yédkws paxdpecot Oecoicw, ‘As Bov “Hdatorov ba Sepata trovrviovta. ILiAD, Lib. I., v. 599. THE OBLIVIAD. Boox THe THIRD. ERE, then, I stand where sleeps the ceaseless Deep, And Earth’s huge hollows to the centre sweep ; Above the mist, where, with terrific glare, Gigantic shape, Death lifts the dart in air; Here, dauntless, brought, to work while I am able 5 With borrow’d tackle of Atlantic cable ; NOTES. Ver. 1. Here, then, [ stand] In midius res, as the Latin phrase is ; Ob- livion; which is his beginning, his middle, and his ed. Virgil, denounced by that despotic critick, Caligula, as an ignorant and unskilful bungler, opens his poem within hail of Latium, to leave it forthwith, to return to it, in the ‘‘ middle of his song,” like John Gilpifi, that is, at the opening of his seventh book, there being twelve in all; as there are four in this dwarf concern, of which this is the third, which, in the first, asks the Muse, very unnecessarily, to teach him to sink, and grope for ‘‘each vile scribbler.” This is, what we call, the crooked way which leads to Zerdition. -Ep, ATH. Ibid. the ceaseless Deep,| An expression of the Poets to signify the ever-changing-sea ; but that is not what I mean; rather, that the waters of Oblivion vest unceasingly, without a puff; asin Book I, which, no doubt, the Reader remembers, > 170 THE OBLIVIAD. Book III. Each Scribbler drag from the Oblivious pool, And hold aloft to light, or knave or fool. But, first, found sinking ’neath the nearer edge, Dishevel’d sheets, and like a waste of sedge, 10 Itself a chaos, all the mass profuse Of News, yet reeking from the morning use. NOTES. VER. 6. borrow'd tackle] Aratim: for borrowed, read stolen, ‘as suiting a plagiarist. Ep. ATH. Ibid. borrow’ d tackle of Atlantic cable ;| I desire here to offer, publickly, as I have already done privately, my thanks to the Telegraph Company, for their liberality ‘‘on this occasion,’ and also to Dr. Carpenter, who seconded my efforts with his accustomed zeal for investigation. The Doctor has since inquired particularly if I had found any trace of vitality in the Deep; and, on my replying in the nega- tive, begged some of the mud in which I had found imbedded the last book of the Laureate. This, submitting to Ross’s microscope, the Dr. exam- ined by a magnifying power of one thousand diameters, and afterwards of two thousand, but could see nothing, after repeated trials, except the same uniform leaden surface, without the slightest appearance of organization or life; whereas, in the deepest abysses of ocean, he had met with an extraor- dinary abundance of beings, especially those engaged in making chalk, that is, the globigerina deposit, with a great variety of sponges.—Chalk and sponges; suspicious materials! however, no mention is made of the sega, or inkfish, a native, as is known, of our coast. I am also in the receipt of letters from Dr. Queckett, Dr. Beale, Dr, Schafer, Dr. Stricker, and the German histologists in general. = IMITATIONS. VER. 7. the Oblivious pool,| ‘*Th’ oblivious pool,” said Milton, Paradise Lost, B. i, v. 266; ‘th’ Asphaltic pool,” or the Dead Sea, said he, v. 411. Ver. 11. Jtself a chaos,] Hence a propriety in mentioning this ‘* mass” at the outset, as chaos was the first thing that rose out of nothing, accord- ing to Hesiod: “Hrot wey mpdriora Xdos yéver’. Heslop, Theog., v. 116. Am, Eb. Book III. THE OBLIVIAD. 171 The Paper; faugh! here, take this thing away, Read once before, and rank of yesterday. How loved but late, when fresh in virgin bloom ; 15 Mere harlot now which for the next makes room, To quick repentance when seduced the chaste, And with the transient transport mix'd distaste ; NOTES. VER. 12. the morning use.) What can the Author mean by this expression ; for are there not evening papers also; and to what zse are they to be put ? Ep. ATH... Ver. 14. Read once before,| The common speech, when, not only the day’s paper, but the day’s book, is brought; ‘ I’ve read it before.’ Ver. 17. Zo quick repentance when seduced the chaste,| Desmosthenes went, on purpose, to Corinth, to visit the courtezan Lais, then as fashionable as Emma Crutch is now; but such was the sum, amounting to about £300.00 of our money, which she required for her favours, that he begged permission to decline them, remarking that he would not purchase repentance at so high a price: éux dvodua puploy Spaxpav perapérciav. Nocr. Att., Lib. I., Cap. viii. Miss Crutch’s nom-de-guerre is Cora, a much more romantic sound, and one which becomes verse mightily : ‘Yet Cora thou shalt from Od/vion pass,”’ But that was said of another, on another occasion. Not having the pleasure of Miss Crutch’s acquaintance, I wonder if she affects the Royal a/#, to be in the fashion, or if in reality lame; which IMITATIONS. Ver, 15. How loved but late, when fresh in virgin bloom ;] * Carus eris Rome, donec te deserat cetas.” Hor. Epist. Lib. I. 20., v. ro. Upon which line Sanadon remarks, ‘‘ Novelty is a kind of youth, which gives to every thing a certain grace and value,’? Our writers, who have never read Horace, know this practically, and as the colours of last season’s farce or poem fade, bring out a new one, fresh and florid from the binder. Some, indeed, whom I could name, conscious of the premature decay of beauty, appear in fresh novel every three months, as in ééte or chguon, 172 THE OBLIVIAD. Book ‘III. Your morning’s muffin dish’d up cold at night, To move once more the sated appetite ; 20 Or vapid remnant of your pot of ale, With Sunday’s shoulder on the sixth day stale. So little suits with articles of ink On shelf to set, like wild-fowl, till they stink. A champagne draught, ere yet the gas escape, 25 Gulp down, just done, the murder and the rape ; The race this morning, with the last night’s ball, The trial, and the crime unnatural ; NOTES. you will not be surprised at my asking when I inform you, that some of the most admired courtezans have been deformed, or troubled with the most disgusting diseases. VER. 22. With Sunday's shoulder on the sixth day stale.] There is an obscurity in this passage: are we to understand Friday or Saturday? Counting from Sunday, the sixth day would fall on Satur-lay; but Sunday included would reach but Friday, which is more probably the meaning, as Saturday, time immemorial, has been jour maigre in Grub Street. Ep. ATH. Un maigre, which signifies a p.tiful writer, comes, I suppose, from the same origin in emptiness, VER, 24. they stink.| The game flavour. IMITATIONS. VER. 18 with the transient transport, &¢.] **Cum plenus languet amator,” Hor. Epist. Lib. I., Ep. xx., v. 8. VER. 19. Your morning's muffin, &ce.] *¢ Occidit miseros crambe repetita magistros.” Juv. Sat. vii, v. 154. VER, 22, sixth day] §* Sexta Quaque die.’’ Id. et ibid., v. 160. Book III. THE OBLIVIAD, 173 The nuptial treat, and how the bells were rung, Who preach’d at noon, and if the culprit hung. 30 But here three columns much reflection bound, To teach the simple, and the sage confound ; Surmises shrewd, and hypothetic high, Till the next issue shows the fact a lie, And Correspondent from a neighb’ring court 35 Sends off fresh rumour for his last report. The purpose plain to which such labours tend, Since once mere fact is stated, there an end; But contradict when lies their work have done, Just sells two papers, while the truth but one. 40 High function, self-imposed, to please the throng, And lure from day to day the gulls along ; Distort their judgment, aggravate their fears, With party rancour set them by the ears ; NOTES. VER, 31. three columns| If this refer to any of the ading jour- nals, it is false, as each leader, except in exceptional cases, rarely exceeds two. Ep. ATH. VER. 34. the fact a lie,] A lie; polite! And how, may we ask, can the fact be a lie, Ep. ATH. VER. 35. Correspondent from a neigh ring court.) Should we not rather read Court, with a capital? otherwise, it might be misunderstood as signifying that the Foreign Correspondent sent in his in- formation from some court, with a small ¢; abode of writers who court retirement. Ep. ATH. VER. 39. fies} Again! Ep. ATH. VER. 44. set them by the ears ;] A plagiarism; and not the only one that we have detected this author in: ‘6 Set folks together by the ears.” From Hupisras, Part I., Canto I., v. 4. Ep. ATH. 174 THE OBLIVIAD. Book IIT. Distress the State with epidemic pain, 45 And madden millions that the few may gain. Ye Muses, now, who in great Grub Street high Keep your eternal garrets next the sky, (For Goddesses are ye, and all things know, While we but doubt, e’en to the deeps below,) 50 The leaders tell me who distinguish’d most, As here I land them, of the scribbling host. For such to name might well all voice defy, The common of the crowd, and worthless fry, NOTES. VER. 48. Keep your eternal garrets next the sky,} Thus now at Jength it is brought to light why authors have hitherto, time immemorial, selected garrets as their favoured retreat, the abode of the Muses themselves, nearest the heavens, where the twin chimney tops, on the gable heights, but call to mind the forked peaks of Parnassus :—‘‘ the phrensy of a dreamer’s eye,” said Byron, exulting in view of the cloud-capped hill itself; the soe recalls this epithet. VER. 50. doubt, een to the deeps below,)] Deeps delow ; oblique satire, we suppose. How witty! Ep. ATH, VER. 54- worthless fry,] The fry of certain fish is in such abun- dance, in some countries, that it is thrown upon the land, to serve as manure. IMITATIONS. VER. 47. Ye Muses now, &c.] "Eorere viv pot, Modoa, dAdumia déuar Exoucar “fuets yap Seal éore, mdpecré re, ore Te wdvTa, ‘Hueis 5& KAdos olov dxovouer, dudé te Yunv- Otrives fryeudves Aavady rub xolpava Foav TiAndby & ove by eyd uvOhooum, oS dvouhve, ODS ef pot déxa ey yAGooat, dea 58 orduar’ elev, davh F Bpineros, xdAkeov 5é por Hrop evelyn: Ei ph ’OdAuumddes Motoa, Aids aiyidxoro @uyarépes, uynoalal’ boo. bard "TAcoy FAGov- *Apxods ab ynav epéw, vids Te mpomdoas. Intap. Lib, II., v. 484. Book III. THE OBLIVIAD. 175 Not, though ten mouths were mine, with each a tongue, And indefatigable strength of lung, [55 Unless ye aiding ; but at least to view, With books they blotted, let me lift the few: Beeotians foremost by old Homer past, But mine Beeotians all, both first and last. 60 A bulk of books toss’d various on the bank, Play, politicks, and novel, rhyme and blank, See plastic Earth, by some fantastic chance, Assume its latest fashion from Romance ; Affect the fanciful, the fix’d undo, 65 And for each airy fiction slight the true. Yet praise be his who shows how much unfit To trace the epopee which Fielding writ, In whom, harsh censure, could the Critick see A barren rascal, what must Bulwer be ? 70 NOTES. Ver. 61. A bulk of books toss'd various] It has been assigned as one of the causes which gave the Ancients such manifest advantage over us, the Moderns, that they confined themselves to prose or verse, and commonly to one species only of one or the other: proof it is thought of what especially characterized them, great good sense. Quite opposite to which, it is only very lately, that I have seen it set down as a maxim, that a man of abilities can turn his hand to any thing, and excell at it; leave his Booksta//, it may be, and command a shig. Ver. 70. A barren rascal,] If Fielding has been treated in this con- temptuous manner by Johnson, he has, on the other hand, been extolled by Warton, among others, including Beattie, who speaks of him as the Parent IMITATIONS. VER. 509. Beotians foremost, &c.] In the Catalogue of the Ships, Ho- mer begins with the Boeotians, a people stupid, to a proverb: BOIOTGN pty, k.7.A. Ivrap., Lib, IL., v. 494. 176 THE OBLIVIAD. Book III. Howe’er contrarious who can all unite, Slang, taunt of Wapping, with the gibe polite, Petronius, Tully, undistinguish’d throng, Cassandra, Seneca, and some Old Song ; The fustian lofty, with the vulgar flat, 75 And all the tedious trifling of chit-chat ; "Mid scenes where, pass, Mackheath himself appears, Escaped the gallows, Man of Ross in years, And Devereux, Pelham, do their author’s best To be improbable, like all the rest. 80 A dandy first, who, when the season past, Writes novels, farces, and an epic last ; In quarter hours, and intervals of dress, Strings rhymes from mere exnui and weariness ; NOTES. of the Comic Epopea, and in many parts of whom he discovers ‘‘at once a brilliant wit and copious erudition.””? Remarks on the Utility of Classical Learning.—But the censure is éxcessive, and the praise extravagant, VER. 71. Howe'’er contrarious who can all unite,] This and the verses immediately following relate to Paul Clifford, that novel which established Bulwer as an author, and in which is not a little of him- self, This book is not now any longer printed with his other works, on account, I believe, of the indecency of various passages, and the tendency to immorality in all. It is, however, to be had separately, as a favourite of thieves, robbers, and the vicious in general. Am, Ep. Ver. 77. Mackheath himself| A highwayman, hero of the famous Beg- gar’s Opera, by Gay. Am. Ep. Ver. 78. Man of Ross] Celebrated in Pope, Mr. John Kyrl, who de- voted his life to purposes of utility to the public, and charity to private persons, Am. Ep, Ver. 79. Devereux, Pelham,| Novels by Bulwer, Am, Ep. Ver. 83. J quarter hours,| The “courtly Chesterfield’? recommend- ing economy of time to his son, tells him of his own method, which was to read and make use of some cheap publication, (if only a sheet of the Athe- Book III. THE OBLIVIAD, 177 Who fine to finer can distinctly trace, 85 Minute dissecter of the human face ; In mind as matter microscopic see, From less to less, a vast infinity, Till all to nothing the reflection split, He ends in nonsense to display his wit: 90 With counters ready when his cash is done, Who bankrupt else, still affluent of pun ; And learning such as ev’ry scholar shows How much he wants, the rest how much he knows. To lewdness leads, who then, in his defence, 95 Pleads moral motives, and insults our sense ; In turn with wisdom, folly, fain to stop, Affects philosopher, and shines the fop. But comes the poet, ’neath another name To sin ’gainst nature, and be still the same; 100 While cheated striplings the dull tale rehearse Which wearied them in prose disguised in verse. Like Silius, Naso, in a dreary length Of vain description chief exhausts his strength ; NOTES. nzeum,) when he had retired for privacy, and then ‘send it dow, as an offering to Cloacina.”’ Ver. 86. Minute dissecter of the human face ;] That charlatan Lavater, as Napoleon called him, was a bungler compared with Bulwer. VER. 89. Jill all to nothing the reflection split,] Run it off to nothing, is a phrase among carpenters, when they would send the tool, in a slant, beyond the extremity of the wood, IMITATIONS. VER. 92. ‘affiuent of pun ;| The Goddess of Dulness, informing her Son that the promised land expects his reign, speaks of it as ‘ flowing with clenches and with puns,”” .DuNcIAD, B. i., v. 252. 8* 178 THE OBLIVIAD. Book III. Adds more to much, nor then the subject quits © 105 Till simile supplied which nothing fits, A sort of something thrust into the strain, And made much more to puzzle than explain. Alas, great Arthur, doom’d to be undone By ev’ry blockhead, Blackmore, Tennyson, 110 NOTES. VER. 103. Like Silius, Naso,] Silius Italicus, still more than Ovid, runs into a tedious narrative, but yet such as will bear but little comparison with that Gothic minuteness, entirely unknown to the Romans, as to the Greeks. AM. Ep. Ibid. Silius, Naso,| Who can he mean? We have looked out in the Classical Dictionary, and can not find any article under the head of Silius Naso, Perhaps the Author can explain. Ep. ATH. VER. 109. great Arthur,| The key-stone of his arch, Bulwer tells us that be stands or falls with ‘* Arthur,” **Here ends,” he says, ‘all that I feel called upon to say respecting a Poem which I now acknowledge as the child of my most cherished hopes, and to which I deliberately confide the task to uphold, and the chance to continue, its father’s name. *“To this work, conceived first in the enthusiasm of youth, I have pa- tiently devoted the best powers of my maturer years ;—if it be worthless, (no doubt of it,) it is at least the worthiest contribution that my abilities enable me to offer to the literature of my country; and I am unalterably convinced, that on this foundation I rest the least perishable monument of those thoughts and those labours which have made the life of my life,’’ Preface to KING ARTHUR, 7 It is amazing what vanity there is in all that. Fame, said my Lord, in another place, is but fashion; so, being fop of the mode, concludes he will always be so, Let me tell Lord Lytton some- thing: there are as many improprieties as lines in the passage just quoted ; yet, that I may soothe a delicate mind, let me add, that Bulwer is no worse a writer than the best of those about him. There is a day of judgment for Authors ; and when it comes, (for come it will,) and that writings are com- pared by @ classic standard, or that of approved taste, it will then be seen what the difference is between fame and fashion : the one continually chang- ing, and contemning her former self; the other boastful of a succession of years, and expecting an endless continuance of them, Book III. THE OBLIVIAD. 179 From Dryden snatch’d, to lend thy lofty name, And be the prop of Bulwer and his fame. Whose muse a jade which can not breathe but pant ; Whose ev’ry image is extravagant. Sound roll’d on sound, on colour, colour set, IT5 The florid false suggests the epithet. A monstrous mixture, Christian, Pagan, found, With Greek and Goth, upon imagin'd ground ; Where Ariosto, Tasso, take the desk, And serious epic is in part burlesque ; 120 Remote and recent more perplex the maze, Nor modish word forgot, nor foreign phrase. You think me partial, but amid a flood Of some three thousand, scarce a stanza good ; NOTES. Ver. 110. Blackmore,] It would be difficult to find a lower in plagia- rism than steal from Blackmore, the title of whose epic is Prince Arthur ; of Bulwer’s, Kéxg Arthur, Ver. 111. From Dryden snatch d,| Dryden, in his Discourse on Satire, chalked out’? the plan of an epic, on the subject of Arthur, which, stolen by Blackmore, has since been degraded by other hands, and finally turned over to romance. So much for what has been done; as for a part of what has not been done, let me quote from Coleridge: ‘I will engage to compile twelve books with characters just as distinct and consistent as those in the Iliad, from the metrical ballads and other chronicles of England, about Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table.” TABLE TALK. VER. 11g. Ariosto, Tasso,] The fantastic and incongruous inventions of the authors of Romance, adopted by the Italians, were by them given a more regular form, and made a new poetic machinery ; especially Ariosto and Tasso, of whom the one represents these fictious with the gravity of the epic muse, as does Spenser, the other only with pleasantry. Am. Ep, VER, 124. Scarce a stanza good ;] Whence it would appear that Bulwer was a worse poet than Cheerilus, who had six good verses in his poem, for each of which he received a sovereign, but a lash for each of the remainder, with critical justice, Six good verses ; 180 THE OBLIVIAD. Book III. For, chance, long searching, if an instant glad 125 One faultless verse to find, the next is bad ; Or discord rising, or the sense too deep, And readers left to grope among the heap ; Where gleams uncertain but confuse the sight, For owls too much of day, for men of night. 130 Conceived imperfect, and misshapen brought To birth but the abortion of a thought, Earth on her lap the lumpish carcass gains, And felt in vain are all a parent’s pains. Write, Lytton, write, from thy exhaustless store, 135 And to ten thousand pages, add ten more ; Vamp your old plays, and by new titles call, Oblivion deep enough to hide them all. What leaden load this lifted from the flood ? Alas! the laurel all defiled with mud, 140 NOTES. an extraordinary number; so far from condemning, I am willing to spare a whole poem for the sake of a single line; better conditions than those offered to Sodom, which did not hold as many as ten good, to redeem the rest. Fire and brimstone on all such ; and brimstone especially, if by it the itch can be cured, VER. 131. Cagceived imperfect, and misshapen brought To birth but the abortion of a thought,) Lucina sine concubitu, VER. 137. Vamp your old plays,| Bulwer had lately, (for the Muse and he had never been divorced, ) rehashed some mouldy rejected garbage of his, and, under a new name, dished it up again as the ‘‘ Captain; ” already the title of a play of Fletcher, another sort of man, whose real tenderness is but ill replaced by affectation, VER. 139. leaden load, &c.,] This accounts for the /eaden surface which was all Dr. Carpenter was able to distinguish, as in a previous Note, on examining the mud. Book III. THE OBLIVIAD. 181 To depths of Erebus for ever gone, With what on earth once works of Tennyson. The iv’ry cover and the gold besprent, With all that daubing and Doré had lent, Ah, what avail? what shouts of vile and great, 145 The painted picture, and'the bought estate ? NOTES. VER. 141. Erebus| A name used to express the more gloomy regions of the Lower World; but applicable in 4 more particular manne to that part of it which is called Oblivion, as Erebus was the offspring of Chaos and Darkness. Am. Ep. VER. 144. With all that daubing and Doré had lent,] Mr. Tennyson, being present, among the crowd, when his book was brought up, insisted that it was the weight of Doré, with the cover, which had sunk it; while Doré retorted the charge, and asserted that his pictures alone were likely to save him from Oblivion, as Ogleby by Hollar, whose admirable engravings to that despicable writer make him still sought for, ‘« Amongst the crowd: ”—it appears, therefore, that Tennyson had not yet Aimself descended into Oblivion, although his books had; for so long as a man is on the Civil List, or, ‘* yuartered on the public purse,” which made Bulwer so angry, the State, if not the World, is reminded every quarter day, that he is still above ground, Like Charles the Fifth, writers enjoy their own obsequies : ‘* Viventesque suze viderunt funera fame,” VER: 145. | shouts of vile and great,] Swift said, it is in the mind as in mines, the possessor is not always sensible of a precious vein in it. Thus, Johnson seemed not to have been aware of a fund of humour, which only once or twice, as if by accident, discovered itself to him; as in that instance when the author is overcome with the praises of his guests, and makes vain efforts, with claret, to stop them. He shoved round the glass, and they the praise, which only redoubled at every bumper. In this way, Tennyson has had his visitor, with whom he passed a very pleasant evening, between pipes and poetry. ‘‘I spoke of the idyll of Gulnivere as being perhaps his finest poem; ” ‘‘ declared I could not. read it, through failure of my voice, at certain times;’’ stopped by the hickup, I suppose. ‘I can,’’ said he, triumphantly ; ‘‘ but the first thing he did was to produce a magnum of wonderful sherry.” After which, poems and praises; until Tennyson brought out a bottle of his Water—I 182 THE OBLIVIAD. Book III. All past like popularity away, | And from Oblivion but escaped a day: Eurydice thus raised by Orpheus’ strain, Sank down eternal into night again. 150 Yet much his merit who could cheat the throng, And hide the bad ’neath singular in song. Pathetic this, ’tis nature thus endears ; But stole ‘the tale which cheats us of our tears. NOTES. certainly am not mistaken—of his Waterloo, 1815 ; and ‘* after another glass all round” of the azxo domini, Tennyson took up the Idylls of the King. **I became very much excited ;” however, not quite so far gone that he could not hickup, ‘‘’fore heaven « more excellent song than t’other ;” ‘* will only die with the language in which it is written; a truism, for how could he separate one from the other. ‘After that we had more sherry; in fact, finished Waterloo, and went up to the garret, to smoke.” Hylas, of Theocritus, in Greek, and Marvell, at parting, 2, A.M. Keene, the actor, knew nothing of Greek, any more than of Latin, like many of us; yet would he begin, after midnight, to spout from the classics, a certain proof, among his friends, that he was now drunk.—NeEw York CIrizEeNn, «« And when that he well dronkin had the wine, Then would he speké no word but Latine.”’—CHAUCER. VER. 146. the bought estate ?] It has been made known to us that an American gentleman, lately worshiping at the shrine of the Laureate, was shown by him a piece of land in the Isle of Wight, purchased out of the profits of a single poem :—so much changed are the times since poets wrote only for that estate in perpetuity, inherited after death; and who hold, like heroes, just that piece of dand which they cover with their bodies. IMITATIONS. Ver. 149. Eurydice thus raised, &c.] *¢ Dixit, et ex oculis subito, ceu fumus in auras Commixtus tenues, fugit diversa: neque illum Prensantem nequicquam umbras, et multa volentem Dicere, preeterea vidit: nec portitor Orci Amplius objectam passus transire paludem.” GeorG. Lib. iv., v. 499. Book III. THE OBLIVIAD. 183 The rest mere rubbish ; sound and sense at strife, 155 With tawdry pictures all remote from life ; Heroic numbers in a nursery rhyme, And Milton burlesqued in his bold sublime; A clock dull clicking, till, with sudden sound, As discord bursting, runs the larum round ; 160 A mingled stream, where mud with water flows, ’Twould puzzle you to say ’twere verse or prose. NOTES. VER. 154. But stole the tale] More especially from Miss Mitford, in whose ‘‘ Our Village” he found the story and best parts of his,—I forget what he calls it. VER. 162. ’ Twould pussle you to say, *twere verse or prose.) A matter not without difficulty, and having in it an inherent obscurity, Many of us are in the position of that person who had spoken prose all his life without knowing what prose meant; while such is, the vagueness of verse, that ‘‘to circumscribe it within a definition will only show the nar- rowness of the definer.” In the present day, it is a common remark, that Byron, and those others of the Jast, did very well for men who wrote he- fore it was known what poetry was: a discovery reserved for the Mystics, or shall I write ms¢ics, such as Swinburne; the proof of which, yet, is but of the negative kind, as but showing what pvetry is, by presenting us with examples of that which is not, In which uncertainty, wherefore, on the one side and the other, I can do little better than refer the Reader to the BourGEois GENTILHOMME, who thus arrives at the result of his Studies: MONSIEUR JOURDAIN. Je ne parle pas de cela, vous dis-je. Je vous demande, ce que je parle avec vous, ce que je vous dis 4 cette heure, qu’est-ce que c’est ? MADAME JOURDAIN. Des chansons. MonsIEUR JOURDAIN. Hé! non, ce n’est pas cela. Ce que nons disons tous deux, le langage que nous parlons a cette heure ? MADAME JOURDAIN. Hé bien? . MONSIEUR JOURDAIN. Comment est-ce que cela s’appelle ? 184 THE OBLIVIAD. Book III. False meaning gives, the word at random takes, Or what the Laureate can not find he makes ; Of expletives a mine unloads his head, 165 To space the page, and be itself the lead ; Collects his stubble, puffs into a blaze, Looks large in smoke, and chalienges the praise: Than whom bombastic none more high can go, None, changed his tune, more grovel in the low; 170 NOTES. MADAME JOURDAIN. Cela s’appelle comme on veut l'appeler, MONSIEUR JOURDAIN. C’est de la prose, ignorante, MADAME JouURDAIN, De la prose? MONSIEUR JOURDAIN. Oui, de la prose. Tout ce qui est prose n’est point vers; et tout ce qui n’est point vers est prose. Heu! voila ce que c’est que d’étudier, Ibid. ‘*’ Zwould puazle you to say ’twere verse or prose,” Why, that’s nonsense ; when any one can tell, simply by the way in which it is printed, whether it is prose or poetry. Ep. ATH. VER, 164. he makes ;| The Reader will understand that when, here and elsewhere, I speak in the present tense, and not in the historical, it is entirely by a poetic licence, to give an appearance of animation, and bring the object before the view; for all such have been long of the past. VER. 165. Of expletives a mine unloads his head] We have returned to the times spoken of by Dubos, when the expletive lines of a poem were considered as the fitting conjunctives between the rest ; whence it was that they came to be known as des vers de passage, as the ABBE de MAROLLEs informs us, Ver. 166. Zo space the page, and be itself the lead ;] At the risk of being impertinent, as explaining a thing known to every one, in the present day, when every one is an author, from the highest to the lowest, not only are the words, but the lines, separated, when in type, by means of pieces of lead; especially in poems, and such writings, when the volume is eked out mechanically, Am, Eb. Book III. THE OBLIVIAD. 185 Colloquial careless in the page be full, Or, see him sweat, elaborately dull. The polish’d surface, seeming to the sight, Scarce Day and Martin’s blacking is so bright ; Yet, sought below, ’mid nothings of his mind, 175 Not Delian diver could the meaning find. But, sounds the trumpet; see the troops advance, Uplifted sabre, and protended lance ; NOTES. VER. 175. nothings of his mind,] . ‘* Another fault is not peculiar to 7 Memoriam; it runs through all Mr, Tennyson’s poetry; we allude to his obscurity. Take a specimen: ‘Oh, if indeed that eye foresee, Or see (in Him is no before) - In morn of life true love no more, And love the indifference to be; So might I find, ere yet the morn Breaks hither over Indian seas, That Shadow waiting with the keys To cloak me from my proper scorn,’ This passage Mr. Moxon has set in his window, offering a reward of £200 to any one who can pick a meaning out of it.” ; Lonnon TIMEs, VER. 177. But, sounds the trumpet, &c.] Through a mistake of orders, the Light Brigade of the British at Balaklava, charged the Russian army, as it stood in position, and were cut down, almost to a man; of which the Correspondent saying that ‘‘somebody blundered,”’ this dignified expression IMITATIONS. VER. 169. Zhan whom bombastic, &c.] So much resemblance is there between the ancient Homer and the modern one; ‘‘ Hunc nemo in magnis rebus sublimitate, in parvis proprietate superaverit,’’ QuinT. Lib, X., cap. Lb VER. 176. Delian diver] The expression of Socrates, AnAlou yé rwds Setrat KoAupByrov. Dioc. LAERT, Lib. ii., Socrat, 186 THE OBLIVIAD. Book III. A Spartan few, embattled hosts defy, And win eternal honours when they die. 180 . NOTES. Tennyson transferred to the doggerel, despicable, ode he wrote on that oc- casion: a deed more sublime than any which ever raised Pindar to the skies, could not lift this lumpish swan of Britain above the flight of a goose, I mean a tame one, crammed and heavy for the spit. ‘* Forward the Light Brigade! Was there a man dismay’d? Not though the soldiers knew Some one had blunder’d.” * &e, &e. Tennyson goes on improving, viresque acquirit ; that famous passage of his youth is not near so bad, in my humble opinion: **O darling room, my heart’s delight, There is no room 50 exquisite, No little room so warm and bright, Wherein to read, wherein to write.” Exquisz¢e / An ounce of cotton spun, by machine, into a thread of some fifty miles, naturally raises our admiration; yet is this but as rope-yarn compared with the tinsel of Tennyson, who has drawn a thread of twice as many leagues, out of three grains scant of understanding. It was nothing but envy on the part of Bulwer, who grudged Tennyson the pension awarded him for this extraordinary ingenuity. Punch declared that Bulwer was adog, and Tennyson another, but much the bigger of the two; while Judy, on her side, did not hold her tongue; as in the following: ** You’ve seen a lordly mastiff’s port, Bearing in calm, contemptuous sort, The snarls of some o’erpetted pup, Who grudges him his ‘bit and sup.’”’ PUNCH. ‘¢ And what with spites, and what with fears, You cannot let a body be; It’s always ringing in your ears— They call this man as great as me!” Jupy. To explain the above, ‘‘a bit” is one hundred pounds a year, and ‘‘a sup’? another; to wash it down, Book III. THE OBLIVIAD. 187 Heroic deed at which all Europe wonder’d ; As Tennyson did too, for ‘‘ some one blunder’d,” NOTES. The invention of Ovid has been praised, as a poet who made a fine poem out of an old alinanack. Tennyson also has essayed the calendar, at once the rival of Ovid and of Whachum, of whom it has been written, ‘* Beside all this, he served his master In quality of poetaster ; And rhymes appropriate could make To every month i’ th’ almanac ; When terms begin and end could tell, With their returns, in doggerel.” HUDIBRAS, 1865-1866. ‘*I stood on a tower in the wet, And New Year and Old Year met. And winds were roaring and blowing ; And I said, ‘O years, that meet in tears, Have ye aught that is worth the knowing: Science enough and exploring, Wanderers coming and going, Matter enough for deploring, But aught that is worth the knowing? Seas at my feet were flowing, ‘Waves on the shingle pouring, Old Year roaring and blowing, And New Year blowing and roaring.” ALFRED TENNYSON. This from Good Words, to which the Morning Star responds : 1867-1868. I sat in » ’bus in the wet, Good Words 1 had happen’d to get, With Tennyson’s last bestowing: And I said, ‘‘Oh, bard! who work so hard, Have you aught that is worth the knowing; Verses enough, and so boring— Twaddle quite overflowing, Rubbish enough for deploring; But aught that is worth the knowing? ” 188 THE OBLIVIAD. Book ITI. In dogg’rel rhymes who clearly brought to light, If well the British war, how ill they write. Next parasitic from the Formless won 185 Buchanan, Scotch-like stuck to Tennyson ; NOTES. Placards on walls were glowing, Puffs in the papers pouring, Good Words roaring and blowing, Once a Week blowing and roaring.” Of Tennyson I have already spoken; besides, these verses are sufficiently able to speak for themselves; but of the parodist I will simply repeat what Boileau said to Louis the Fourteenth, on his Majesty’s asking him his opinion of some verses his Majesty had written : ‘¢ Rien n’est impossible 4 Votre Majesté; Elle a voulu faire de mauvais vers, et Elle ya réussi,” VER. 186. Buchanan,| In a note to the New Timon it is stated that Tennyson is ‘‘ without wife or children,” (of the body,) and that he is ** of a, wealthy family ;”? which made the report credible, that he had adopted IMITATIONS. VER. 184. Jf well the British war, how ill they write.] No new complaint, In a drama little known, having given place to an in- ferior one by the same author, a farce in five acts too severely called, occurs the following : ** Miss Richland. IY own it has often surprised me, that while we have so many instances of bravery abroad, we have had so few of wit at home to praise it.—I’m quite displeased when I see a fine subject spoiled by a dull writer.” GooD-NATURED MAN, ** Vixere fortes ante Agamemnona Multi: sed omnes illacrymabiles Urgentur, ignotique longa Nocte, carent quia vate sacro, Paulum sepultze distat inertize Celata virtus.” Hfor. Car, Lib, 1V., Od. ix., v. 25. VER. 185. from the Formless won] ‘© Won from the void and formless infinite.” PARADISE Lost, Book iii,, v. 12. Book III. THE OBLIVIAD. 189 Who if less skilful in the false sublime, Some share of use may make as bad in time; In frippery as fine instruct to dress, And of the dearin hide the nakedness ; 190 *Twixt sense and nonsense show the pen to poise, And how to shape that voluble of noise. A sort of ** whuzzle-whazzle”’ of the head, With dissonance of words nor sung nor said; ‘‘ Winds whistling saltly,” ‘“‘ hueless silence deep,” 195 ‘* A horrid whiteness,” and ‘‘ a weight of peep ;” NOTES. Buchanan, as the Marcellus of our tongue, and heir to the laurel, that so much money, and so much renown, might not go a begging. All which is now changed; for ‘Mr. Lionel Tennyson, younger son of the Poet Lau- reate, and Miss Elinor Locker, daughter of Frederick Locker, the poet of “ London Lyrics,” will be married, at Westminster Abbey, early in March ” So that fame runs lineal, or Lionel, after all; her temple thrown open ; and the heirs presumptive, as well as apparent, of two great authors, registered therein, till doom’sday, or the day of judgment, which, as Dr. Cumming has shown, is near at hand, and which is certain to revoke so many paten's, and to consign to Oblivion so many names, VER. 193. A sort of *‘whuszle-whazele” of the head,) A word, Mr. Buchanan informs us, intended to convey, to Scotch lugs, by an Oxomatopaia, the sound of a loom, VER. 196. ‘a weight of peep;”’] ‘ ‘*No wondrous peep Into the faéry lands of Oberon, Its bowers, its glowworm lighted colonnades, Where pigmy lovers wander two by two, Could weigh upon the city wanderer’s heart With peace so pure as this!” That is, being interpreted, No deep could weigh upon the heart with peace so pure; which is as fine a piece of what Mr. Buchanan, elsewhere, calls *«whiskey poetry ’”’ as could well be invented. How it sounds! Thetruth is, the Scotchman had been eyeing Tennyson’s ‘‘ watery smile and educated whisker,” and was willing to adopt the fashion, 190 THE OBLIVIAD. Book III. High ‘‘ whiskey ” fustian, till, in sober prose, ‘Runs in poor Donald with a dripping nose :” Affecting image, when is no relief To sniv'ling cub of pockethandkerchief. 200 Of all which hodgepodge sick, and of much more, I'll leave him where his lines had left before : The felon thus, ere hang’d, to that sojourn Whence taken first, must first perforce return. A youth trick’d off in new Dundreary tie, 205 And latest fashion of absurdity, NOTES. VER, 199. no relief To sniv'ling cub of pockethandkerchief.| Why, then, not do as we, in our speech? for is it not a trite saying, that fingers were made before pockethandkerchiefs. Ep. ATH. Ibid. That hardy nation to which Donald belonged has been long cele- brated for contempt of certain effeminate conveniences deemed necessary by their neighbours of the South. The reader, doubtless, remembers, ‘*the barbarians north of Tweed Who scout these fabrics of the southern sages.” VER. 203. The felon thus, ere hang’d, to that sojourn Whence taken first, must first perforce return. The Judge, in passing sentence of death, solemnly, and particularly, tells the criminal, that he will first be taken to that place whence he was brought, and thence to the place of execution, there to be hung by the neck, until he is dead ! dead! ! dead!!! Am. Ep. Ibid. to that sojourn Whence taken, &c.| O, for the matter of that, it is not to no purpose that we ‘‘ sojourned,” or wrote our experience of the jail, and the gibbet, where, although unhung, we know the ways of it, and, critically, have assisted at as many executions as Calcraft himself, as this author him- self was forced to confess, in a previous page, which see, Ep. ATH, VER. 207. Swinburne] Author of some sad things styled Tragedies, with Poems and Ballads, and a piece entitled Atalanta in Calydon, which, as no one understood, so all united in praising: ‘* The language was so fine.” Book III. THE OBLIVIAD. 191 Who Swinburne once, here lifted from the dead, His heels on high, and down the weight of head ; NOTES. VER, 208. down the weight of head ;| Since universally admitted, from the time that Boileau gave evidence of the matter, that Man is the blunder of creation, /e plus sot animal, there only remains to determine that special organ of the body in which the difficulty lies, that, by amputation, cautery, castration, or otherwise, he may get rid of the offending part, whether in the periphery, centre, or extremities. Unfortunately, should my view be accepted, the inquiry is not likely to give the advantage desired, as the creature cannot well cast from him, like a hollow tooth, this particular member, such as it is, being no other than his head ; which part, in man, is bigger, in proportion to the rest of him, than in any other created thing. To this, as a consequence, are due all those errors, crimes, purposes, perversity, and dulness, which make up the history of that creature classed as Auman, as he that came originally from the clo, and still has a part of it sticking to him: so that even in the feather-brained Swinburne we discern the heaviness of this upper part ; down the weight of head ; in so great a degree is it constructed out of all architectural propor- tions, If any other animal falls into the water, (of which three-fourths of the habitable world are composed, ) it can make a shift to get out, be it an ass or a pig, which creature finally, in the act of swimming, cuts his own throat, as man does too, though not with a view of saving hislife, but, fool- ishly, of destroying it ; a goose finds no difficulty whatever; but this other quickly sinks to the bottom, carried down, as but natural, by the heavy part. All other animals can sleep, without being at all incommoded by the head ; which in man nods from side to side, in a ridiculous manner, and gives him no quiet asleep or awake: as a hulk ill-stowed, so also this badly freighted hold of the calvaria, lets its cargo toss adrift, and, top heavy, rolls now to starboard, and now to port ; or pitches, head foremost, or hindmost, as it may be. : The fool himself seems to be sensible of the injury done him by this mis- governing part ; as he is often seen, in case of some great blunder, or crime committed, to give himself a slap on the front of his head, or even knock the whole of it against the wall, out of an impulse of revenge. A dog knows what he is about : he is guided by the nose, and follows it; yet, though you shall meet men as easily led by the nose as asses are, can they not of their own accord, follow a direct course, but must deviate to the right or to the left, until quite off the scent, the forehead, or misguiding part, preponderating so much over the sense: though, perhaps, in this in- 192 THE OBLIVIAD. Book III. F’en as some dog from Thames is taken out By cit, who fancies on his hook a trout. 210 John Bull delighted once this youth caress’d, The mirror of the mode in which he dress’d, Some seasons past who had resign’d his claim To sense, and old hereditary fame ; Began jackpudding in a serious whim, 215 And press’d his bulk into a dancing trim; NOTES. stance, it is the snout itself which is to blame, as in man it is hardly ever set straight before him, but still has an awkward leaning to this side or that ; a want of symmetry peculiar to the creature we are speaking of. A spicier understands how to weave, though his caput is not quarter the size of a pea; but you must have seen a two-legged trifler sit to work that delicate em- broidery of verse, without the least natural ability, his head, though it be but of hair, being as big as a bush, We have it on the authority of Swift, that a bear will not attempt to fly ; a creature in some respects resembling the human, in-as-much as he moves, badly, on two legs, and is rough of nature ; but whose cranium appears much less out of proportion, if seen without a muzzle: but not so man, kept down by a weight of lumber in his scull, as by a log, who will attempt the flights of fancy, and absurdly think himself high in the clouds, until, like that philosopher too intent to pry into the secret of the heavens, he tumbles into the ditch: where now it is as well to leave him; in particular, if it be that last ditch of all, Oblivion. VER. 213. vresigw'd his claim To sense,| Montesquieu said, ‘* There are no men of true sense born any where but in England,” Anecdotes, by REV. JoSEPH SPENCE. Am. Ep. VER, 215. Began jackpudding in a serious whim,] The mode of satire here used, which is repeated in the instance of Brown- ing, Sala, and Carlyle, some one or two of those we speak of as the ‘‘ trade,” have expressed a suspicion of, that they doubt some of the common of readers will not understand it ; recommending to subjoin some explanation among the Notes; as, indeed, Pope condescended to, in his Games. But as wit explained has but a feeble effect, I must simply refer to the writings of Swift, where, in the Voyage to Lilliput, Walpole is ridiculed as daily dancing on a tight-rope, and otherwise displaying his agility ; images not Book III. THE OBLIVIAD. 193 Despised the sirloin which before he eat, And found the indigestible a treat ; On unintelligibles much refined, Supp’d full of froth, and on chimeras dined ; 220 Sore ’gainst his stomach, took he knew not what, And badly hid the nausea which he got. But Swinburne enter’d, soon from college flies, Scarce half made up in the humanities; Strange voices sending from a raven throat, 225 And vain excessive in a magpie coat ; Nor Greek nor English in the piebald fold, Which but a patchwork of the new and old. NOTES. less remote than those our Author fancies, and yet such as have never been objected to. Am. Ep. _ VER, 220, on chimeras dined ;| Mr, Bull having ceased to be of a mind with that Philosopher who refused to dine on chimeras, though cooked by Aristotle himself. VER. 224. the humanities ;] In Colleges, as all students are aware, Studies are divided into Divine and Human: imperfect in one of which, and contemning the other, a youth, it is obvious, has still much need of in- struction; for, even of one who unites them it may only be said, in the language of Dryden, ** OF hero’s make, half human, half divine.” Ibid. ~ This word Aumanity, as well in the Latin Language, as in ours, has a double signification, both that in the text, and the vulgar one of be- nevolence ; as explained by Gellius, who, after Varro, uses Aumanitatem in the same sense with the Greek ma:Selay, or erudition. This Note intended to obviate an ignorant cavil of the Atheneum. IMITATIONS. VER. 225. Strange voices, S*c.] The Author, probably, had in mind the following : ** Corvos poetas, et poetrias picas,’”’ Pers, Prol. ad Sat. i., v. 13. 194 THE OBLIVIAD. Book III. A youth too early to the tutor led, Who much more than he understands has read ; 230 Of life knows nothing, and essays to climb ‘Where each the tumid seems to him sublime; Stares, stamps, and shouts, ridiculous of rage, And on a pair of stilts bestrides the stage. There to the narrow bounds his legs confin’d: 235 Another step had left the house behind. Ten syllables cut off from schoolboy prose, From line to line the straggling period grows; A wildgoose flight, you wonder where it tends, Or why it e’er began, or why it ends. 240 NOTES, VER, 228. Which but a patchwork of the new and old.) ApxatomeAnoiwvoppurtxnpara. As Mr. Swinburne has shown himself so great a proficient in the Greek, perhaps he will favour me, through the Atheneum, with a literal transla- tion of the word here quoted. VER. 230. much more than he understands has read ; Of life knows nothing,| Bacon said, of Studies, ‘‘ they teach not their own use; but that is a wisdom without them and above them, won by observation.” Am. Ep. VER. 232. the tumid seems to him sublime ;] Quere humid, although tumid is equally applicable, if we suppose that a bubble is meant, which is at once humid and tumid. , Ep, ATH. Ingenious, and what gives additional support to the hypothesis that sx5- time comes from dimus, or what is moist; for so in Horace, Udam spernit humum fugiente penna, when the fancy, like a newly winged gruh, rises out of the mud; in opposition to which, however, very plausible conjectures may be offered in favour of Z/men, when sub is put for super, and the word means the wer threshold, whence the expression, that from the sublime to the ridiculous is but a s¢ep; in attempting which you may chance to stum- ble, which is the sublime inverted: of which two opinions the Author more inclines to the former, as he found but mud at the bottom, and still sticking to the writers when drawn up, as in the instance of Tennyson, ‘all defiled,” &c. See the Works of Dr. Parr, Vol. 7, p. 64. VER. 235. narrow bounds] Quere, narrow boards. Ep. ATH. Book III. THE OBLIVIAD. 195 As schylus of old was wont to cheer His soul with wine, so saddens he with beer ; Confusion to confound, make dark the dim, Buchanan and the rest but fools to him. NOTES. Ver. 241. As Aéschylus of old was wont to cheer His soul with wine, so saddens he with beer 3] And as, in like manner, Atschylus first brought in the thick-soled cothur- nus, so Swinburne the stilts, (as above,) that is, made them higher than ever before, VER. 243. Confusion to confound, make dark the dim,] There was a time when authors ventured forth only at night, by whose ** mantle” to hide the deficiencies of their wardrobe; now, they but court darkness to hide the nakedness of thought. *¢The refluent morn.” For his light 7s back into darkness. Whence, having inverted nature, we read, «¢ Kindles the trembling night.’’ And, again: ‘*Or where the moon’s face warm and passionate burns,” Painting Diana like a midnight Bacchanal, or drunken prostitute, wt zzfra, As al; se ‘Might of dews.” He had heard of Might of snow and hail, xidvos uévos 45 yard(ns + a pow- erful expression, as known to those who had been exposed to the ‘‘ ice- IMITATIONS. VER. 236. Another step had left the house behind. | “Oocov & hepoedts avhp tdev dpbaruoiow, “Huevos év ckomt), Acicowy ém olvona méyroy Téccov émiipdoxover Sedv bynxées trot. “Quis igitur non ob excellentiam 427~s Sublimitatis jure dixerit, si bis eodem modo ad saltandum se concitent Deorum equi, eos non amplius in- venturos in mundo locum?” Lone. de Sub., Sect. ix., Pearce. Did the Reader remark, iWnxées, high sounding, for high stepping? whence, e converso, high stepping for high sounding, to express the lofty of speech. 196 THE OBLIVIAD, Book ITI. In these by chance some lambent lights reveal 245 The mass of smoke through which at times they steal, NOTES. storms” of Thrace and other regions, not far from those inhabited by the Greek poets, Mévos has the double signification of anger and strength, ‘* Triumphant nightingales In many a fold of fiery foliage hidden,— —— clamorous -with Jmmeasurable delight.” In addition to which “arms enclose The immeasurable rose,” When the boundless is compassed ; a feat which will not soon be surpassed. The following will serve, not only for Swinburne, but for Aytoun, and the Athenzum man, that obscure person who wrote it : ** The seraphic being of Aytoun’s octosyllabic is almost as false and de- testahle as the giggling, crawling, alliterative monster of Mr. Swinburne’s blank verse.” Those who desire to see how, from age to age, Ni onsense repeats herself, may compare what prevails at present, with what was faskionadle in the days of Persius, who gives us the following, asa sample: “‘ Torva Mimalloneis implerunt cornua bombis ; Et raptum vitulo caput ablatura superbo Bassaris; et lyncem Meenas flexura corymbis, Evion ingeminat: reparabilis adsonat echo.” Sat. i, v. 99. A rhapsody as unmeaning as any in Buchanan or Swinburne, of which Per- sius asks, as we may ask, in our case, *« Hee fierent, si testiculi vena ulla patermi Viveret in nobis? ’” Ibid., v. 103. Puerility which could not find place, if any share of vigour had remained to us of our manly ancestors, “ In istis versibus mollis est rhythmus et affectatus, ceterum quam tenuis sensus, et verborum tumori quam minimum respondet!” Ex Notis in usum Delphini. The Athenzeum, once so severe on Swinburne, has fousd reasor to change his tone, though Swinburne has not changed his, and now discovers Book III. THE OBLIVIAD. 197 The total night of Swinburne blots the noon, As in a huge eclipse of sun and moon; Nor chink nor crevice gaping in his head E’en shows the dust, or where the cobweb spread. 250 Of dialogue a rant to split the ears, Each wonders what the meaning while he hears. Once, true, by night escaping from the stews, Seen nude in Grub Street, with a harlot muse, NOTES. in his writings, and life, that he has the marks of true genius, and even shows symptoms of the Skadluiing?. As the Reader, doubtless, desires to know what this séa//-, or skull- viingl, signifies, I will here transcribe from OLAUS WoRMIUS a passage which explains it, translated from his work, Literatura Danica. ‘« This happy genius for poetry discovers itself even in infancy, by such manifest indications, that it cannot be mistaken, and is observed to be most ardent about the change of the moon, When a poet of this high order and fervid spirit is speaking of his art, or pouring out his verses, he hath the appearance of one that is mad or drunk. Nay, the very external marks of this poetic fury are in some so strong and obvious, that a stranger will dis- cover them at sight to be great poets, by certain simgudar looks and gestures, which are called in our language Skallviingl, i. c. the poetical vertigo.” The truth to nature of which description no one needs proof of who has seen the face or witnessed the gestures of our poet, with that appearance of mad or drunk, which no art can counterfeit, VER. 254. Seen nude in Grub Street, with a harlot muse,} Swinburne wrote an address to the Venus Libertina, so naked of all deco- rum that, with one voice, the Press, forced by public indignation, called out against him, and exposed his lewdness and obscenity, until Moxon, the Publisher, was forced to cancel the entire edition. : IMITATIONS. VER. 248. Asin a huge eclipse of sun and moon ;} We are morally certain that we have heard that line before, but cannot say exactly where, not having at hand our general index. However, we have detected a manifest plagiarism. Ep. ATH. Mr. Editor sometimes gets a free ticket to the it, where perhaps he heard it, 198 THE OBLIVIAD. Book III. Defies the gods, he utters the profane, 255 And makes at least impiety quite plain, While hoots and hisses at each word increase, And all the criticks call, police, police. But place, ye Scottish ; place, ye English wits ; Here Browning, dredged from far profounder pits; 260 NOTES. I find the following instructive, or, in the modern phrase, suggestive, remark in Allibone’s Critical Dictionary : “‘Laus VENERIS: So severely censured for indecency, that copies of the first edition, (properly suppressed by Mr. Moxon,) sold for £5.5.0 each.”’ The wonder ceases why Reviews are written with so much severity, if the value of dudness can thus be enhanced like that of ixdecency, (the latter of which, indeed, is usually accompanied by the former), when the book that would scarce sell at five shillings, on being properly exposed, brings as many guineas in the market ; one-half at least of which, it is but just to suppose, should be handed over to the Reviewer. My own opinion inclines to this conjecture ; for, otherwise, it would be difficult to account for the number of£stupid books that. in this way are continually being brought into notice: Dulness is at a premium. Whence, whenever in this Poem, the Reader encounters any passage more than usually tedious, let him be assured, as the SPECTATOR said of his own Writings, “ there is a motive in it.” VER. 255. utters the profane,| This censure cannot be allowed to pass without qualification; for, says Fraser, ‘* the volume, as a whole, is neither profane nor indecent ;’ so that, through an inequality of style, it is only in parts that he is so distinguished. Ver. 258... all the criticks call, police, police.] That night, having business in the classic quarter, we were one of the first who called police !_ He was carried off, and put in the lock-up. Ep. ATH. Ver. 260. Browning,| Anold hand, Father of much dead and lament- able ‘‘ Tragedy,” ‘‘ Men and Women,” ‘‘ Dramatic Lyrics,” and ‘** Drama- IMITATIONS, VER. 259. But place, ye Scottish; place, ye English wits 3) **Cedite, Romani scriptores ; cedite, Graii,’? Propert, Lib. IL., Eleg. xxxiv., v. 65. Book III. THE OBLIVIAD. 199 The bard that nursed, and taught betimes to rave By Sibyl hag, in some Cimmerian cave, Or in vast Mammoth to obscure his mind, Where bats are biggest, and the fish are blind ; Intolerant of day, and forced to wait 265 Till clouds call forth to hoot articulate : A sort of Zusus, soon by Barnum caught, Gazed at by crowds, and to the city brought, There strange to jabber, in strange garment drest, Of whom*one half is cunning, fool the rest ; 270 Some doubting much a cheat, while more debate Or find how nonsense in the soul innate. But vagrant next, behold him shambling go, At once himself the showman and the show, NOTES. tic Romances:” a huddle of obscurity, tossea into a volume entitled, to make all of a piece, “* Bells and Pomegranates.” VER. 262. Sibyl hag, in some Cimmerian cave,] ‘We thought we should bring this tyro to something, or rather that he would bring himself; Cimmerian cave; he had heard, no doubt, of the Cumzan cave, or the Sibyl’s cave at Cumze ; a fair specimen of this Satirist’s acquire- ments, Ep. ATH. VER. 264. the fish are blind ;| In the vast cave of Kentucky, called usually the Mammoth Cave, is a blind fish, the améylopsis, where also many blind insects are found, VER. 267. A sort of lusus, &c.] A Gentleman in the retinue of the Prince of Wales has informed me, that when his Royal Highness visited Barnum’s Museum, a strange creature was shown him, three parts cheat, and one part idiot, making the igger complete ; a nondescript, called the What-Is-It. VER. 272. Jind how nonsense in the soul innate.] At that time, in the last century, when the discussion on innate ideas was at the height, a creature, afterwards named Peter, in shape human, was found in the wiids of Germany, whom some supposed a fool, more a cheat, and not 200 THE OBLIVIAD. Book III. Street preacher of Parnassus, roll on high 275 His blinking orbs, and rant tautology, While gaping multitudes around the monk Much wonder if inspired, or simply drunk. At length, by cast of some superior luck, Moping ‘mid lunar light, he finds a Book, 280 *Tween line and hemistic which greatly grows, And now of verse is fustian, now of prose. Straight thumb’d by all, the students of that sort Who read romances and Police Report, Who deep in scandal, but whose joy, by far, 285 When crim. con. case bares each particular. Alluring tale, much matrimonial strife, Old, harsh, the husband, young and fair the wife ; A priest gallant, whom Caponsacchi call, Who flings her comfits at the carnival. 290 Which seen, old Guido, jealous, spreads a snare, By forged epistles to entrap the pair. Stale trick, the lover sees what thus design’d, Steals off the bait, and leaves the noose behind. But, first, Pompilia, ‘‘ with that sad strange smile,” 295 Twists thus the metaphysic of her guile : NOTES. a few the homo sapiens ferus, so much sought, in whom they expected to discover spontaneous knowledge, In those days lived Jonathan Swift, who, in his ‘* London strewed with Rarities,” describes this iz¢eresting Child of Nature, in whom he sees ful- filled that well-known prophecy of Lilly: ** Then shall an oak be brought to bed Of creature neither taught nor fed.” ‘His being so young,’’ adds Swift, ‘‘was the occasion of the great disappointment of the ladies, who came to the Drawing-room in full expec- tation of some attempt upon their chastity; so far is true, that he endea- voured to kiss the young lady Walpole, who for that reason is become the envy of the circle ; this being a declaration of nature in favour of her supe- Book III. THE OBLIVIAD. 201 Since, then, my husband hates me, I shall use,— Let have effect enough to balk his views, And of the other’s love but so much take As stop a murd’rer, “‘ for his own soul’s sake ; ” 300 Whence plain to all a wife without reproach, Though midnight meet me in the hackney coach. She comes, ah, see, in hymeneal white, Than moon more chaste, and than the stars more bright ; How am’rous youths upon the fancy draw! 305 All black, ‘‘’t was her soul’s whiteness which I saw.” ‘« Then in a tick of time,” postilions fly, ‘Sprung, was beside her, she alone and I.” What next, I pray you, to this am’rous haste? Ungen’rous doubt, is not Pompilia chaste ; 310 NOTES. rior beauty. On his first appearance he seized on the lord-chamberlain’s staff; ” which, with other particulars of this serious narration, made Lord Monboddo aver, that the discovery of Peter was a more extraordinary phe- nomenon than the discovery of thirty thousand fixed stars more than we are already acquainted with. There is an additional touch of satire in the above by Swift, which re- quires to be pointed out ; the young lady Walpole was a sort of fool, and therefore the more likely to gain the notice of this other natural. For some account of Dolly Walpole, see Lady Wortley’s Letters. Am. Ep. VER. 280, he finds a book,| ‘© Romana Homicidiorum—nay, Better translate—A Roman murder-case :— Wherein it is disputed if, and when, Husbands may kill adulterous wives, yet scape The customary forfeit.” Ibid. Dixon sees in all this but a reflex of his own book; Capon Sacchi but a courtly spiritual Cupid, and Pompilia his ee Bride.” But why Capon? Vid. Ath. IMITATIONS. VER. 308. & she alone and I,?") *¢ Solus cum sola,’”” o* 202 THE OBLIVIAD. Book III. No sly approaches, heaving of the breast, Nor e’en her hand, by jolt of coach, is press’d ; In frigid of romance they but adore, And then to metaphysic as before. A mystery of meaning where none is, 315 Set off with dash (—) and with parenthesis ; NOTES. VER. 312. é’en] by syncope for even; some indelicate allusion, no doubt : we understand, Ep, ATH. Tbid. Jolt of coach,| Those who wish to hear a discourse on the embarrassments of a situation of this kind, may turn to the Joseph Andrews of Fielding, the particular chapter and page of which I must leave them to find for themselves, as just now I have not the book at hand, to refresh my memory, and never, like the other readers of novels, have read it a second time. VER. 314. metaphysic as before.| Those Italian people must have much colder constitutions than those on the opposite leg of the European goose ;—to speak (in the manner of Strabo, who compared Greece to a man) of that whereof Russia is the head, and England the tail, France and Austria the wings, and Germany, being bulky, the body, while, as signi- fied, the peninsulas of Spain and Italy are the legs ;—for a Spanish lady, reading a romance, in which the lovers, after many adventures and dangers, having at length met, and indulging in much metaphysics, could not help but exclaim, what is all this for, are they not got together? SAINT-EVREMOND, Sur Nos Comédies, CEuvres Meslées. Ibid, metaphysic| The etymological meaning of the word meta- physic, is, that which is, to explain it, opposed to nature, and therefore to the natural impulses ; as the intercourse, or rather 2o-intercourse, between this pair, obviously was, under the circumstances, ‘© When kind occasion prompted their desires.” A matter not explicable, except on our doctrine of spiritual wives, the method of approaching whom, and of cohabiting with them, with the issue thereof, are explained at large in our Work, under that title. ED. ATH. VER. 319. unwilling wives] Really, this writer wishes us, not only to review his book, but to write it too. ‘‘ Unwilling wives,” when he means, zwé/ding wives, as the context obviously requires; since Pompilia shews that she was as willing as a man could wish, Ep. ATH. Book III. THE OBLIVIAD. 203 Or subtile logic such as gulls may guide, And show but seeming is the guilty side; With art by which unwilling wives may hope To keep their character, and yet elope. 320 Towards nook apart, which on the Western side, Drawn in by strength of subterranean tide, The rope next warp’d where multitudes are found, Long lost to mortal ken, and deep in ground. Gregarious these like Blue-Point oysters skulk, 325 In numbers making what they want in bulk : NOTES. VER. 320. keep their character, and yet elope.| An original author, who reverses the rule of the moral, and, following Dixon, the modern Bossu, first finds the immoral : *«The great immoral yours, as mine, the guide.’’ See Speech delivered by Hepworth Dixon, Esquire, before the College of Ignorance, on occasion of the Great Annual Conference. VER. 321. the Western side,] A touch at ourselves, I suppose; Western side. Am. Ep. VER. 324. lost to mortal ken,| Of the Immortals, (since no part of nature is out of Providence,) those alone who survey, and have charge of, this Region, are the Goddesses known to classical Antiquity as Oblivia, Occulta, and Celata; sisters, like the Fates, being three in number, and called collectively the Obliviones; together with the mother Goddess. VER, 325. Blue-Point oysters) Which, first, being taken up, and *€but a mouthful to the Satirist,’’ he sends down, finally, like the rest of those noticed, VER. 326. Ln numbers making what they want in bulk ;] As if to intimate, that, if our poets are numerous, they are small. At which we are not likely to repine, so long as our country can produce the largest potatoes, the largest cabbage heads, and the largest pumpkins in the world. So that if we are not ‘some poets,’ we are ‘some pumpkins;’ a phrase, I fear, which will give some trouble to that Gentleman in these pages often appearing as Ep. ATH. ; to edify whom, I desire to insert the follow- ing from PETER’S General Histury of Connecticut : ‘*‘ New-Haven is cele- 204 THE OBLIVIAD. Book III. A dozen disembowel’d of the list At most a mouthful for the satirist. But as when things testaceous, by some luck, Or freak of nature, are together stuck, 330 So here a pair of poets seen to press, As shell on shell, the little on the less ; Or as the’Siamese together found, ‘ To Saltus Whitman, Whitman Saltus, bound, Resembling, yet unlike, as once the Twins, 335 When Shang and Whang each had his sep’rate sins ; But if in what opposing I must tell, Whitman to me the most inscrutable ; Of authors darkest that in dungeon kept, And only writ their nonsense when they slept ; 340 NOTES. brated for giving the name ‘‘ pumpkin-heads” to all the New-Englanders, It originated from the Blue Laws, which enjoined every male to have his hair cut round by a cap, When caps were not had, they substituted the hard shell of a pumpkin; which being put on the head every Saturday, the hair is cut by the shell all round the head.” Our Author seems not to have known that there are large Blue-Points, as well as small, like so many other things in nature, including Poets, One would scarcely believe it, but Professor Wilson declared that ‘* oysters are Poets,” in which respect he would not allow that they had any resemblance to Tennyson, Am. Ep. VER. 334. Saltus| A very genteel young man, fashionably dressed, whose poems afforded me a great deal of amusement. Ibid. Whitman,] I read, in his Life, that he sprung from an old stock in Long-Island, and grew to the age of thirteen, when he was trans- planted to a printing-house, and wrote for the Democratic Review ; at all times loved well what are ca//ed ‘*common people,” such as ‘‘city me- chanics,” and ‘‘ stage drivers.” Camp-follower, builder of houses, and also of the lofty rhyme; ‘‘ Leaves of Grass,” ‘* Drum-Taps,” and other things. VER. 336. Shang and Whang each had his sep rate sins ;} As the vices of human creatures are as fifty to one in comparison with their virtues, they are, therefore, those which principally characterize them, Book III. THE OBLIVIAD. 205 Who, as of reason Pope we poet call, Henceforth high-priest of the irrational ; Concurrence such whose random phrases make, That most like pie which printers send to bake. A flail of sense, this part on that retorts, 345. Elegiac verses, which in longs and shorts ; NOTES. VER. 341. of reason Pope we poet call,| That Pope is the ‘ poet of reason” proves him to be no poet at all; aut insanit homo, aut versus facit: as no man can be in love, and be in his senses, so can no one write verses. However, the phrase having been repeated, it is heard especially among those who, conscious that there is neither sense nor knowledge in their own verses, wish to avoid the consequences of a comparison with one distinguished in each of these respects, though by no means in these only, as they would insinuate. The cry used to be that Pope had no Greek ; and now it is that he had no imagination; until every illiterate numskull comes to speak of Pope with contempt. Opposed to whom, let me men- tion, Porson, who expressed a wish to pass his days at Twickenham, that he might be on the spot where Pope had lived ; Gray, who spoke of him as ‘*a great master;’? and Byron, who, in this other department of the fancy, quoted passages from Pope, to shew that he excelled in it. But Pope, Porson, Gray, and Byron, give place, for here comes a Frenchman, one Taine, a sezsation historian, who cannot endure Pope, though, ex revenche, in raptures with Shakespeare. Even this praise of reason, he denies him: ‘¢O, what pretty sounds! except truth nothing is wanting.” VER. 344. like pie] Tolearn what Jie is, I must send to Mr. Whit- man himself, who must often have tasted of that mixture of type thus called, when underscrub in a printing-house, his first occupation. IMITATIONS. VER. 343. Concurrence such whose random phrases make,} The fortuitous concurrence of atoms, as in LUCRETIUS: ‘ipsa Sponte sua forte offensando semina rerum Multimodis, temere, incassum, frustraque, coacta ” Tandem cooluerint ea, Lip. ii., v. 1057. 206 THE OBLIVIAD. Book III. While untaught ‘“‘ Drum-Taps,” in a tuneless round Of mammy-daddy, still repeat the sound ; E’en rhyme the fetter wanted not by Walt, In ‘‘ crippled prose’ who cannot help but halt. 350 Saltus the less, in whom less thick appears The lambent smoke, but he’ll grow dim with years. Commingling streams their mutual bodies fed, Who snored and dream’d upon a common bed ; But who, at length, when on the board they lie,. 355 By scalpel cut, e’en this their autopsy. NOTES. VER. 345. 4 flail of sense,] This hemistich from DRYDEN : ** Born for a scourge of wit, and flail of sense.” Mac Flecknoe, v. 89. Ibid, 4 flail of sense, this part on that retorts, Elegiac verses, which in longs and shorts ;] Lest the point of this couplet should be lost to any one, through want of ac- quaintance with college phrases, it may be explained that in elegiac verses a short line is doubled upon a long one, like the sticks of a flail: hexametri cum pentametris, Am. Ep. VER. 348. mammy-daddy| When the soldier boy is first given the drum-sticks, he is taught to strike alternately, heavier and lighter, which sort of tune is called the mammy-daddy; as known to Mr. Whitman, who wrote ‘‘ Drum-Taps,” and followed the Army. VER. 349. rhyme the fetter] Rhyme has been called a fetter to the poet; and with truth; but it breaks him into a new pace, as it does the horse, who moves in his newly acquired gait without any appearance of constraint, and more gracefully than before, if thoroughly taught in it, and by nature tractable. VER. 350. “crippled prose”] A name given to blank-verse, in which much of Mr. Walt Whitman’s poetry is written. VER. 355- when on the board they lie, By scalpel cut, en this their autopsy.) Alluding to the dissection of the Siamese Twins, made in Philadelphia, Book III. THE OBLIVIAD. 207 Of the same school, and creatures of that sort By Nature made for her especial sport, Purblind from birth, and studious to be wrong, Let Holland serve as sample of the throng. 360 NOTES. VER. 357. Of the same school,] Scarce an age has passed, in the history of literature, without some form of false taste, into which every scribbler immediately hastens, that he may take advantage of the mode while it prevails, The present folly is that of obscurity, which, however, is but the revival of a fashion that was not new even in the days of Quintilian. This writer tells us of a preceptor known to Livy, who used to instruct his pupils in the obscure, making use of a Greek word oxéricov. Excellent! he would say; in that I can understand nothing myself. On this vice, as a part of his subject, our Author dwelling, and selecting the more glaring instances of, as in the case of Browning, that now before us, and others, a certain sameness of censure has, unavoidably, found place, at least in this third book; to lessen the effect of which, there was only left him to diversify the images, and put each hero in some new situation, It may be said that the necessity which thus embarrassed him, was of the Author’s own choosing, and arose from an original defect of plan; but I hope that an excuse may be found for him. Necessitas quod cogit, &c. Am, Ep. Ibid. school,| Quere, scul/, Ep. ATH. Facetious, VER. 359. Purblind from birth,|] A graduate of our College, and ho- nour man, Mr, Holland went farther out of the way, by virtue of his natural qualifications, than any of his contemporaries, except the immediate chil- dren of the Goddess, who were blind outright. Ep, ATH. VER. 360. Holland] Josiah Gilbert. Having taken degrees, in a coun- try school, as doctor, he practiced, unsuccessfully, for one or two years, and then hired himself to a party Paper; passed under the assumed name of Timothy Titcomb; wrote ‘‘ Kathrina, her Life and Mine;” and, last, became Editor of a Magazine. IMITATIONS. VER. 357- creatures of that sort By Nature made for her especial sport,] *‘ Forsitan hoc facis, ut tibi sint mortalia ludo *Facta, et habes hominem pro scurra,”’ , PatinGEN., Zod. Vit., Lib, v. Leo., v. 11. 208 THE OBLIVIAD. Book III. He, scarce escaping from Serbonian bog, Soon lost himself in Broadway in a fog, That still conceals him from the public gaze, Floats round his head, and with the footstep strays ; As erst, unseen, through Carthaginian crowd 365 fEneas stalk’d, in circumambient cloud. Above his brow if, chance, a beam breaks way, And raised his dazzled eyeballs to the day, The much moist brain but fresher fumes supplies, Like mists on marshes when the sunbeams rise. 370 NOTES. VER. 361. Serbonian| Beotian? more probably, Batavian, as the name Holland suggests. Ep. ATH. VER. 362. in Broadway] *¢I was in Broadway, A unit in a million, Like a bath In ocean surf, blown in from farthest seas Under the August ardors, the grand rush OF crested life assailed me with its wave, And cool’d me while it fired.” KaTuHRINA, Part iii. The wave cooled him while it fired (while it sca/ded?) Cold performs the effect of fire, said Milton ; said Holland,.Fire performs the effect of cold. Water which had boiled, freezes more rapidly than water yet unexposed to heat ; which accounts for the extraordinary frigidity of these verses, that no one can read unchilled. They bear a resemblance to the following from the Persian Princess, a play by TIBBALD: ‘* By heav’n it fires my frozen blood with rage, And makes it scald my aged trunk,” IMITATIONS. VER. 365. through Carthaginian crowd 4ineas stalk'd, in civcuinambient cloud.] ** At Venus obscuro gradientes aére sepsit, Et multo nebulz circum Dea fudit amictu.” #EneIp, Lib [., v. 4ta. Book. III. THE OBLIVIAD. 209 Chiaro-scuro, where things brought about, That darkness doubled, and the light left out ; Or mass of shade encroaching on the print, When hides eclipse the sutty mezzo-tint: From want of thought, a poet in his rage 375 Who spilt his ink, and blotted all the page. NOTES. VER. 371. Chiaro-scuro, where things brought about, That darkness doubled, and the light left out ;| Certain of the Italian painters introduced so much of the obscure into their pictures, as to produce what was called a midnight effect ; thence called the setta de’ Tenebrosi :—* Di cid 2 nato che in-molte di quelle pitture non son oggiami rimasi se non t lumi, sparitene le mezze tinte, e le masse degli scuri; eche la posterita ha trovato a questa schiera di artefici un vocabol nuovo, chiamandogli la setta de’ Tenebrosi.”” Lanz1, Storia, Tomo Terzo, p. 208, Bassano, 1818. The expression ¢exebricosus had been applied to Heraclitus. Esse sensus non obscuros nec tenebricosos, said CICERO. VIDA, also, in a more parti- cular manner, stigmatizes this vice : “© Verborum in primis tenebras fuge, nubilaque atra: Nam neque, si tantum fas credere, defuit olim Qui lumen jucundum ultro, Iucemque perosus Obscuro nebule se circumfudit amictu ; Tantus amor noctis, latebree tam dira cupido !’’ Poet., Lib. iii., v. 15. VER. 374. the sutty mezzo-tint :} Mezzo-Tinto, a manner of engraving, so called, and very different from the common. ‘To perform it, they rake, hatch, or punch the surface of the plate all over with a knife, or instrument made for the purpose, first one way, then the other, across, &c., till the face of the plate be thus entirely furrowed with lines or furrows, close and as it were contiguous to each other; so that if an impression was thus taken from it, it would be one uniform blot, or smut: ”—as in the print before us, into which light has not been made to enter; the finer and more laborious part of the process, IMITATIONS. VER. 371. Chiaro scuro, &c.] “* Cosi dipinge a chiaro scuro ¢ a guaszo.” MENZINI, Satira Prima, 210 THE OBLIVIAD. Book III. Part of himself, and prattlers of his pate, His ‘ darling things’ no sense can penetrate, Fair to the view, and their fond father’s pride, Like AZsop’s mask that wanted brains inside ; 380 In green and gold attractive to the eye, Or, gold and green, and, as you like, you buy. Unwash’d, and rusty in religious black, Like printer devil, who but author hack, Skill’d, through the week, dull paragraphs to pen, 385 A sup. on Sunday who could whine amen, His Rev’rence raised, of Scribner’s press the pride, With Magazine and Roxy by his side, : NOTES. VER. 375. poet in his rage] Meaning doubtful: does he mean a poet in the poetic frenzy ; or a poet in a rage with his own poetry ? Ep. ATH. VER. 377. prattlers of his pate,| In the same manner as we say, ‘children of his body.’ VER. 380. Like sop’s mask] A fox, having met with a vizor-mask, turned it over with his foot, and, when he had considered it awhile atten- tively, bless me! said he, what a handsome goodly figure! pity that it should want brains! *Q ofa kepuadh, wal eyxépadoy odk exer. VER. 382. Jn green and gold] A stroke against those books more in- debted to the Binder than to the Author. Am. Ep. VER, 383. Unwash'd,| An epithet of the highest honour, since Cobden spoke of the ‘ great unwashed,” VER. 385. dull paragraphs} Written for the Post, a newspaper ; and so written as becoming a man of his cloth - ** Dulness is sacred in a sound divine.’? Duwnciap. B. ii., v. 328. VER. 386, sup.] Familiar abbreviation of supernumerary. VER. 388. Magazine) Scribner’s, Tbid. Roxy) Called by Aimself, on cover of Athenzeum, ‘‘ New and important novel.” Book III. THE OBLIVIAD. 211 Both to their parent mortal known from birth ; And dust to dust, he said, and earth to earth. 390 A crowd confused scarce to the surface brought, Where great and small as in a dragnet caught ; Reade, Proctor, Plummer, with a boatload more, Like herrings heap’d and counted by the score; NOTES. VER. 391. A crowd confused] Were, as on other occasions, our Author despatches a crowd of the inferior class of writers, the of woAdol, without any particular notice ; as in Homer, where, while the chief among the slain are dwelt on, their pedigree related, and deeds described, the rank and file receive a bare mention, or are left without distinction in the dust. In this manner, for example, we find Ulysses turning off his attention towards the multitude of the Lysians, in that animated fifth book of the Iliad : “Ev@ dye Kolpavov eiAev, "AAdoropd Te, Xpduidy re, “Adxavdpdv &, “Adidy te, Nohwovd re, Mpiravly re. And thus, also, a few lines farther on, we are told who first, and who last, were slain by Hector, with aid of Mars: *Ayrl@cov TévOpayr’, én) 5& wAhtiurmoy *Opearny, Tpixdy 7 aixunriv Airdatov, Oivduady re, Oivoridny Y “EAevoy nad *OpécBioy aiodoulrpyy. Am. Ep. VER. 393. Proctor] Bryan Barry Cornwall Proctor, ‘* Tragedy,” ‘* Dra- matic Scenes,” and ‘* Songs,” Ibid. Plummer,] The Northamptonshire Poet. ‘Songs of Labour,” and ‘* Northamptonshire Rambles.”’ ‘* Writer on Politicks in the Zeca? pa- pers,’’ and author of numerous articles on Wages, especially of Reviewers ; Labour, Strikes, &c., in various serza/s ; pensioned withal. IMITATIONS. VER. 389. to their parent mortal known] Anaxagoras, on being told of the death of his children, remarked that he had known that they were born mortal: “Hide adrods Svntods yervfoas. Dioc. LArrRT. de Phil. Vit., L. ii, Anax, 212 THE OBLIVIAD. Book III. While Byron, Coyne, amid their farces found, 395 And Lemon long for Punch and puns renown’d ; Soft sonnet Gilder, ballad-monger Hay, And Butler “ nothing” skill’d to sing or say ; NOTES. VER. 395. Byron,] Extravaganzas in great number. Ibid. Coyne,] I have been told, since the above was put in print, that Mr. Coyne died last summer, which I regret I had not known before ; for I can say, with Zanga, ‘‘I war not with the dead.” - VER. 396. Lemon,] Author of some sixty pieces for the theatre, and twice as many songs, between which he has divided his time equally. Reads scenes from Shakespeare, like an angel, with aid of rare natural parts; for so says the Athenzeum ; ‘Mr. Lemon has great advantages for the delivery of: his text—a large rotundity of person, a humorous cast of face, and rare inte/- ligence ;”” opposed to the proverb, more belly than brains; Maye yaornp Aemwroy ov tTikret voov. Jester and Punster to the Public. Ibid. Punch and puns renown'd ;] Here, unless we are mistaken, this author has entrapped himself; for not- withstanding the equivocal advantage which he endeavours to take by the ambiguous meaning of the word purck, as united with the word /emoz, it is obvious, and indeed manifest, what is meant; against which we are ready to testify that Mr. Lemon is as temperate a writer as any that never sipped any thing else but just cold water. Ep. ATH. VER. 397. Soft sonnet Gilder,] If this Gentleman is by name and trade the same, he must know that * All which glitters is not gold.” g g Ibid, fay,| As Mr, Hay is of the Tribune, we know already where to ** place him,” as the Athenzeum expresses it. VER. 398. Butler “nothing” skitld to sing or say 2] A lawyer, who was accused, very insultingly, of picking up, in an omnibus, a jingle named ‘‘ nothing to wear,” for it was not worth the picking up. However, becoming fashionable, many inferior hands wrote ‘ nothing to do,” ‘‘ nothing to eat,” until they carried it into Grub-street. The latter part of the line he may interpret to hint, that he wanted skill as a pleader; though the meaning is, that he had the art to hold his tongue, for which that wise man of Greece was celebrated, Book III. THE OBLIVIAD. 213 Reeve, Farnie, Houghton, Arnolds more than one; Whose eyes still staring, though the life is gone: 400 Triflers ’gainst whom satiric skill who tries, Like Persian Prince, but hawks at butterflies, NOTES. VER. 399. Reeve, Farnie,] Allied in life asin death, these gentlemen, like Beaumont and Fletcher, with Brutys and Palaprat, wrote conjointly ; Farnie, the songs; Reeve, the dialogue; and, conjointly, stole from French farce, with scraps from other pieces, Ibid. Houghton,| Richard Monkton Milnes, F.S.A., D.C.L., &c. Baron Houghton. Poet and Politician; rare combination, So large a fish as Houghton, found among this fry of farcers, is what need not give surprise, as a cod is often similarly caught. Ibid. Arnolds] Arthur, ‘Cotton Famine ;” in which he expresses his fears that the zsefu/ classes will perish for want of the ‘‘ raw material,” while the wse/ess for want of the same converted into rags, and finally into paper:—Ned., ‘‘ Staff” of a Newspaper :—The Rev. ‘‘ Path on Earth to the Gates of Heaven ;” wherein is made appear that these places are con- tiguous :—Mat. Professor of Poetry, and so persevering a proficient in it, that he surpassed Aristotle, whose verses are confined to one dad ode, while the dad of Mat. fill a volume. VER. 400. Whose eyes still staring,] One is forced to fish for the mean- ing of this Writer. ‘* Whose eyes still staring,” seems to apply to the Messrs, Arnold exclusively, though, possibly, intended to include the whule “* boatload,” from the simile of the herrings, which do not shut their eyes, when deceased. Ep. ATH. Ibid. ‘* Whose eyes still staring, though the life is gone .] This passage a/so/ the meaning of which, we supfose, is, that, as Authors, they were dead, though ‘still staring,’ in their other capacity. Ep. ATH. A just Conjecture; and one which the Reader will please to remember in reading other passages of this Poem. Am. Ep. VER. 402. Like Persian Prince, but hawks at butter flies,] Sir Anthony Sherley, in his ‘‘ Travels into Persia,” relates, that he saw the King amusing himself with sparrows, which had been taught to catch but- terflies, and such small game, 214 THE OBLIVIAD. Book III. Or of Domitian imitates the art, With pointed verse to do Arachne’s part: These, several and all, to scan yet fain, 405 Slipp’d from my hand, I could not grasp again; Down, down, they sank, to lie conceal’d from sight, As long as Earth endures, or scribblers write. One only snatch’d; once much resounding name When criticks call’d, and Longfellow was fame. 410 Chromatic torture, that some saw-mill near, To drown these notes, or, could I Codrus hear ! NOTES. VER. 403. Or of Domitian, &c.] Domitian, in the early part of his reign, was accustomed to pass his mornings, with catching flies, and piercing them through with a sharp-pointed stylus: ‘‘ muscas captare, ac stilo prea- acuto configere,”” SUETON., Domit., cap. 3. VER. 407. Down, down, they sank,| This tautology, we suppose, is em- ployed to express unusual heaviness, because Plummer, or Plumber, (from plumbus,) was of the number, Ep. ATH. Ver. 408. As long as Earth endures,| And longer, I promise them. What an immortality, exclaimed Napoleon, eight hundred years, the utmost date of a Raphael or Rubens ! Eight hundred millions of millions of years, multiplied into itself, the utmost date of this Earth, and all that is of it; what an immortality ! say I, The geologists shew us at what time moss, cabbages, monkeys, and then man, who, like the baboon, is a monkey of larger growth, came into the world; and calculate, by a nativity, the day on which they shall disappear; for now, thesé thirty years, men have already passed the zenith; human genius has declined rapidly ; Tennyson and Browning arrived ; and, in verse, we are limping painfully to the last. All things thus approaching the end, except Oblivion, which is eternal, there shall our more favourite Authors still find a niche, for EVER and for EVER! VER. 410. Longfellow| This, and the half-dozen or more names immediately preceding, indicate that the grapnel must again have slipt to the Western side, that Ultima Thule, spoken of above. Am. Ep. Book IIL THE OBLIVIAD. 215 Not touch of file, but grating sound of rasp, And pen to splinters shiver’d in his grasp. Leech forced, alas! on the long dreaded doom, 415 Must discord drive another to the tomb; No kind mechanic to attend my call, And give a double sash, or thicker wall ; Torn ev’ry nerve, intolerable grief, . And the Vice-Chancellor refuse relief! 420 NOTES. Ver. 415. Leech forced, alas! &c.] This unhappy Man of Genius pre- dicted that the hand-organs would be the death of him; changed, in vain ! his residence, and put in double sashes ; at which his friends were wont to smile, until, at length, when cerebral inflammation had set in, and his end approached, I told you, said he, what it would come to. VER. 420. the Vice-Chancellor refuse, &c.| The Reader cannot fail to remember the case of Simpson v. Campbell, of Randolph-Gardens, last year, who fought their battles with discords, in the manner of the Greenlanders, The power of Music we all know, since ‘‘ the world’s victor was subdued by sound;’’ but only the Greenlanders know the power of Noise. The dispute having divided the State, opposing armies raise the IMITATIONS. VER, 412. or could I Codrus hear !] e “‘rauci Theseide Codri?’’ Juv. Sat. I, v. 2. VER. 413. touch of file.) ‘limze labor,”? Hor, de Art. Poet. v. 291. VER. 414. pen to splinters shiver'd in his grasp.) It is easy, said Johnson, to make our language rough; whence I can claim but little praise, if, in a parody on the following line of Homer, I have made the sound, as he did, ‘‘an echo to the sense : ”” Tpix6d te Kal rerpaxdk Siarpupty exmece yxerpds. ‘ IuraD, Lib. iii., v. 363. Upon which EusraTuius remarks, that you would fancy you heard the iron breaking: efros by o1dhpov Spavopevov axovery. 216 THE OBLIVIAD. Book III. Yet, pain despite, arises oft my laughter At dactyl quick, and spondee sneaking after, While halts the bard on this and t’other foot, High heel and low, like prince of Lilliput. He comes, behold, whose epic in that style 425 Of rhetoric which class’d the infantile ; Where judgment shown that void of thought it run, To end in nothing, as it first begun ; And tittletattle heard in accents broken, As if he had the hickup when ’twas spoken. 430 NOTES. cry of combat, and with missiles of shout, song, hoot, hiss, beat of drum, and amna ajahs, (how it gapes,) so gall and distress one another, that those of the two least dull of ears are glad to escape with the use of them. For a full account of which see ‘‘ CRANTz Greenland.” Ver. 424. High heel and low, like prince of Lilliput.) *< We apprehend his imperial highness, the heir to the crown, to have some tendency towards the high heels; at least, we can plainly discover that one ot his heels is higher than the other, which gives him a hobble in his gait.” GULLIVER’s Travels: part I. Ver. 430. As if he had the hickup| Wickup; the thing has been proved ; for it is now known that versification is but the product of our infirmities, and thatgyou can tell the peculiar weakness of any of us from the course of our verses. If a man’s verses are ill-digested, it is because his ‘‘ peptic capacities’’ are at fault, when the crudities of his stomach affect those of his understanding ; the concoction was faulty from the first. As the poet breathes, he writes; and if he is wrong in the wind, so must he be in the poetry. The deeper the breath, the longer the verse; so that he who writes in Alexandrines, or twelve syllable lines, has need of a deeper capa- city of chest, than, he who composes in those of eight; or, rather, the length of his breath gives the limit to his line, by which we are enabled to tell, that Spenser breathed habitually more slowly than Prior, and Homer than Anacreon, even before he took to drinking, and the grape-stone had stuck in his throat; for we have their verses, some long, others short, which guage them, like a spirometer. Of this Horace seems to have had some notion, calling Pindar the deep-mouthed, when he should rather have said, deep-chested ; Piudar, of all bards, singing out his verses the most immeasurably, with all the licence of the dithyrambic, and, in matter of Book III. THE OBLIVIAD. 217 Of the insipid mighty master he, And prophet foremost of inanity ; NOTES. inspiration, standing the first. This matter PERstus must have had an in- sight of, whose verses, here following, are closely applicable to the Theban: «pede liber, Grande aliquid, quod pulmo anime prelargus anhelet.” Sat. i. v. 13. Ovid evermore fails us in alternate verse, breathing 2 deux temps, as the French say of a broken winded horse. You can tell the man by the way he walks, said Sallust ; but much better by the way he breathes ; for in this matter we are speaking of, as in every thing else belonging to life, it is all wind. Elegiac couplets, such as those of Ovid, were originally used only in poems of a sad description ; when the verse moved with the sigh, the inspi- ration, or first line, being long and deep, the second short and convulsive ; the lungs, which had been slowly inflated, collapsing suddenly, like a’ burst bladder, _ This inquiry, into what is called the ‘‘ Physiology of Versification,” ex- tends into the whole constitution of poetry and poets, as shown in a very ingenious essay by Dr. Hotes; of which, here, I can, at present, make no further use than to justify my expressions of asthmatic, long-winded, and hickup, as in the instance before us: He must have had the hickup when ’twas spoken. ‘ An error has crept in here, now too late to correct. Miss Sewell and Miss Manning should have been found among the girls, on the authority of Bacon, who says that we who come late into the world are the ancients, and that those of remote dates are the young. Ibid. Yonge,] This young lady, born in 1823, is also for High. Church, of which she is « shapely pillar, with her hair twisted into the volutes of the Ionic order, the feminine so named, as the Doric the mascu- line. Novels; no end of them, The profits of ‘* Daisy Chain,” £2,000. Alas ! the days when Authors dined, occasionally, at fourpenny Ordinaries, were hunted by bailiffs, and all whose riches were in a reversion of fame. Gibbon congratulated himself that he was born in the Eighteenth century ; these, the ladies and gentlemen of the Obliviad, shall I call them, have greater reason to congratulate themselves that they were born in the Nine- teenth, VER. 108. hoops and all,| “Had our Author, instead of Satire, turned his hand to Tales, he, very likely, from this specimen, would have produced something very popular, the language is so fine, as the Athenzeum expresses it. ‘‘ Four fair ones,’’ ‘‘ alluring,” ‘‘ unseemly sight,” ‘* mur- Book IV. THE OBLIVIAD. 241 These settling down, say, now, what carcass this, Profaned with slime of the so deep abyss. 110 And is this Sala, once reputed hack, With all this load of luggage at his back ? Alas! so changed, who, when on earth of yore, Toss’d high in air the cap and bells he wore ; Set wide his heels, a slav’ring tongue held out, 115 Gazed, grinn’d, and jabber’d, and then frisk’d about : Ne’er by such bulk agility such shewn, And Sala nimble as a Logan stone: NOTES. muring waters ;’’ Tennyson would have made a poem out of half the num- ber. Nor should we pass without notice the pathetic at mention of the hoops, or the delicacy in letting them down, without examining farther. Am. Eb. VER. 111. And ts this Sala ?] By his father Portuguese, English by his mother; had not a moment’s time for thought, from his youth upwards, so much occupied was he in writing ; skipped from Continent to Continent ; wrote ‘‘ There and Back Again,” ‘‘ Weighed in the Balance,’’ and was found heavy; with six score more; much straining the tackle, and causing so much the more uneasiness, as it was borrowed. The French have a phrase, Trop de mercure dans la téte ;—or rather does that other, Viva- cité de Pesanteur, better apply to him, who, like a struck whale, is at once ponderous and lively? ‘‘I have a kind of alacrity in sinking,” said Fal- staff, as the Reader remembers, Ver. 114. Zoss'd high in air the cap and bells he wore ;| Our ancestors used to fasten bells on the hat of the Clown, to excite his spirits, as we on the neck of our horses; a contrivance to which much of the vivacity of Sala’s drollery may be imputed, Am. Ep. VER. II7. such bulk] Was heard to boast that, like his friend, Mark Lemon, he could personate Falstaff without stuffing. VER. 118. Sala nimble as a Logan stone:] Rocks of vast size, called Logan stones, are found in various parts of the world, capable of be- ing moved with a very slight degree of force. Pliny makes mention of one at Harpasa, in Asia, which could be moved by the finger, but not, pushed from its place by effort of the whole body: a description which CAREW 11 242 THE OBLIVIAD. Book IV. As work’d Galvanic battery in his brain, Flung himself down, and straight jump'd up again; 120 Spasmodic laugh’d, and next, with changed grimace, Made sad the merry-andrew in his face ; To sudden clamour with crack’d accent broke, And rasp’d his throttle, as when Touchstone spoke ; Whose speech, to match the motley of his coat, 125 Of languages a patchwork got by rote ; French, German, Russian, but whose English such As seem’d a cross ’twixt Portuguese and Dutch. In former days, in a fantastic guise, Have wits by covert introduced the wise ; 130 NOTES. seems to have had in view when addressing a famous stone of this kind in Cornwall : ‘* This hugy rock one finger’s force Apparently will move; But to remove it, many strengths Shall all like feeble prove.” I have seen an enormous rock of this description, many tons in weight, bearing lichens and a few shrubs, at New-Rochelle, near New York. Am. Ep, VER. 119. As work'd Galvanic batt’ ry in his brain,] In the brain, (and of brain Mr. Sala is not destitute, some criticks to the contrary notwithstanding,) are certain gray and white layers, placed alter- nately, which are acted upon in the same manner as the zinc and copper plates of the Voltaic pile, and produce all the phenomena of mind, corre- lated so closely with those of electricity, as especially obvious in those rapid flights and jerks of the poetic authors and humorists, of which Mr, Sala is head ; that is, if we are to disregard the claims of Mr. Bret Harte, who de- clares that he is ¢4e humorist ; the originality of which ¢he, the hatter, che bootblack, and ¢e rest, dispute with him. VER. 122. Made sad the merry-andrew in his face ;] Note that, Reader; made sad the merry !« Ep, ATH. VER. 124. as when Touchstone spoke :] The Clown in As You Like It; who comes in, speaking in a cracked tone, and dressed in motley. Am. Ep. Book IV. THE OBLIVIAD. 243 But Sala soon whoever reads detects, Who fool affecting, is what he affects. Illogical in all, from method free, His ev’ry art of impropriety ; How what least fitting, best to introduce, 135 And how of reason to reject the use ; Describe anew whate’er in guide-book shown, And by distorting make it all his own. NOTES. VER. 127. whose English such As seem’ d a cross*twixt Portuguese and Dutch.} Mr, Sala, as we have seen, is Portuguese by his father, and by his mother English; with what propriety, therefore, say that his other tongue was Dutch? To make this matter clear, it is necessary to understand, that in Yorkshire is a dialect which has so close an affinity to that spoken in Hol- land, as to Zoix¢ to a common family of language; whence we have but to suppose that Mr. Sala’s English was Yorksh re, when the matter becomes plain enough. But however this may be, and to make an approximation to the truth, there is very much of the Dutch in Mr. Sala’s figure, but less in the face, which, by the ose, excludes him also from Italy, where that feature we call the Roman is universal. VER, 138. by distorting, &c.] It is the privilege of the man of genius, envied him by other thieves, to snatch what belongs to some one else, and make it his own, by alteration; in the same manner as transpose a plain garment into a motley one, such as that spoken of above, or turn it, and so defy detection. This, in law, has received the name of plagiarism, but is justifiable, and becomes simply borrowing, when due acknowledgment is made, and the name, with abode of the owner, pinned to it, underneath: in the manner followed in this Publication. Otherwise, any doubtful mark, , or evasive hint, must not be alleged in defence, such as simply setting cer- tain curved lines thus, *¢ ”, on the article stolen, which may be effaced, or hiding a ticket within it ; just as in a book which I saw lately, whereto IMITATIONS. VER, 132. Who fool affecting, is what he affects.] ‘* Pauper videri Cinna vult, et est pauper.” Mart, Lib. viii., Ep, 19. 244 THE OBLIVIAD. Book IV. The flippant, false, incongruous unite, And seen in him the trivial and the trite. 140 A wonder to all time, who sent to show : How much a dunce may say, how little know. E’en deeper as he sank, Carlyle now stopp’d Mid shifting sands where chance the grapnel dropp’d ; *Gainst error he who left us no defence, 145 Redoubted conqueror of common sense ; NOTES. the plagiarist prefixed, in the title itself, his own name, as if he were the author, and then, knavishly, remarked in a Preface, which he knew no one would read, that ‘‘he made no pretentions to originality.” It is the busi- ness of the Detective to search for, and bring into Court, offenders of this class, to whom more than ordinary ignominy attaches. VER. 143. Carlyle,| Thos. We are informed that Mr. Carlyle’s father was ‘fa man of intellect,’ a very uncommon endowment; but the inference is not obvious, since we know what slight resemblance some chil- dren bear to their parents, or reputed parents. Addison’s daughter was an idiot, and the sons of Aristarchus were famous for their stupidity. Carlyle held the first place among the Deformers of the Age; was amazingly admired by a cligue, to whom he was utterly uninteiligible ; and is now drawn up from the immediate neighbourhood of that part of Chaos of which he displayed so much when on earth. Patriarch of the tribe, how many dark as thyself, who, like Esau, art hairy, have sprung from thy loins, the Brownings, Salas, Buchanans, Swinburnes, and Hollands ; to dis- possess the legitimate owners, and make their own the bogs beneath Par- nassus ; wethers of thy own Beeotia ! VER. 146. Redoubted Conqueror] Genseric and Attila were but types of this mighty Barbarian, who, descending from the North, devasted univer- sally, overturned all monuments, subverted law, debased language, intro- duced new modes, and set the Goth and Vandal over all things; ominous conjunction, between the chiefs of those famished /znxovators, as I suppose they would have called themselves. Carlyle, it is true, is called a Tory ; but in Literature, never did Radical suck deeper out of earth. Uncouth, shaggy, ungainly, hid in a huge hat, he draws after him a crowd ; an evi- dence of his renown, and pleasing to him as to Demosthenes, when the Book IV. THE OBLIVIAD. 245 Where fancy flourish’d strew’d an arid waste, Reversed all order, and depraved all taste ; O’er prostrate learning push’d his bold advance, ’Gainst right gave law, and sank all elegance ; 150 Of speech the figures taught us to confuse, And left us language such as madmen use: By his own Cromwell tutor’d to rebel, And keep each rule of the nonsensical. NOTES. people would say, that is he, that is Demosthenes; for Carlyle cannot dis- tinguish between a huzza and a hoot. ‘*Videamus,” said SENECA, ‘‘ne ista, per que admirationem parare volumus, ridicula et odiosa sint.—Illud autem te admoneo, ne eorum more qui non proficere, sed conspici cupiunt, facias aliqua, que in habitu tuo, aut genere vite notabilia sint. Asperum cultum, et intonsum caput, et negligentiorem harbam, et indictum argento odium, et cubile humi positum, et quidquid aliud ambitionem perversa via sequitur, evita. Erist. V. Lug. Bat. Ex. off. Elsev. Ver. 153. By his own Cromwell tutor’d| ‘* The collection of all his speeches, letters, sermons (for he also wrote sermons), would make a great curiosity, and with few exceptions, might justly pass for one of the most nonsensical books in the world.”’ Hume, of Cromwell; Hist. Commonwealth, chap, ii. VER. 154. keep each rule of the nonsensical.] ‘‘ There are genuine Men of Letters, and not genuine; as in every kind there is a genuine and a spurious. If Hero be taken to mean genuine, then I say the Hero as Man of Letters will he found discharging a function for us which is ever honora- ble, ever the highest. He is uttering forth, in such way as he has, the in- spired soul of-him; all that a man in any case can do, I say inspired; for what we call ‘ originality,’ ‘sincerity,’ ‘ genius,’ the heroic quality we have no good name for, signifies that, The Hero is he who lives in the inward sphere of things, in the True, Divine, and Eternal, which exists always, un- seen to most, under the Temporary, Trivial: his being is in that; he declares that abroad, by act or speech as it may be, in declaring himself abroad. His life, as we said before, is a piece of the everlasting heart of Nature herself: all men’s life is,—but the weak many know not the fact, and are untrue to it, in most time; the strong few are strong, heroic, per- 246 THE OBLIVIAD. Book IV. Whate’er of excellence had found the praise, 155 Transmitted downwards from the far of days; All Nature taught, ere yet Carlyles were dull, Of sense the clear, and speech the beautiful ; By him decried, and put up in their place What most on blockhead can convey disgrace ; 160 NOTES. # ennial, because it cannot be hidden from him. ‘The Man of Letters, like every Hero, is there to proclaim. this in such sort as he can,” HEROES, HERO-Worsuir. Lect. V. This profound disquisition we are not without a Key to the meaning of, which Mr. Carlyle furnishes in the following: ‘© So, however, are men made. Creatures who live in confusion; who, once thrown together, can readily fall into that confusion of confusions, which quarrel is, simply because their confusions differ from one another ; still more, because they seem to differ! Men’s words are « poor exponent of their thoughts ; nay, their thought itself is a poor exponent of the inward unnamed Mystery, wherefrom both thought and action have birth, No man can explain himself, can get himself explained; men see not one another, but distorted phantasms which they call one another.” FRENCH REVOL. B. V., c. 2. Mr. Carlyle ‘can not explain himself, or get himself explained,” being one of those creatures who ‘‘ live in confusion,’’ and who only differ ‘* as their confusions differ from one another,” ‘‘ His words are poor exponents of his thoughts ;” ‘‘his thoughts poor exponents of the Mystery within him, out of which it is that both thought and word proceed: ” so that when we find what was originally a mystery, made more unintelligible by thought, and still more so by word, we have the exponent of what Mr. Carlyle has written, or the Key, as I have called it. ** Men see not one another, but distorted phantasms of one another ;”” which must be my excuse for that extraordinary picture of Carlyle, in the text, which if not what he actually is, is what he seems, as drawn from the life: a distorted phantom, VER, 157. Carlyles] In the plural; which, in this instance, could not be for the sake of the verse; whence we are free to conclude that other writers, of the school of Carlyle, are intended, who are not necessarily of the same name, The passage needs further elucidation. Ep. ATH. Book IV. THE OBLIVIAD. 247 The stiff, capricious, awkward, the absurd, The meaning alter’d or mistaken word, But chief a jargon made up with intent To hide his poverty of sentiment. Strange figure once, reversed his stocking put, 165 With studious limping of his dexter foot ; One winking wildly, shut his other eye, And all for sake of singularity ; Instead of hat, his breeches bound his hair, While where that raw baboon all else was bare ; 170 NOTES. VER. 162, mistaken word,| Which, with so much of the remainder, comes from his not having been often enough scourged at school; where, indeed, in former times, boys were ashamed of such improprieties, and needed no other punishment than the fool’s-cap. The business of flogging has thus doubled on the Satyrist, when it is too late, and age has made Car- lyles incorrigible, Birch must drop again with blood, though it be patrician, and the horse be kept in Eton, before boys, and men, write readable Eng- lish. The unflogged of the Mew C£tonian has sent in the following, as a specimen: ‘‘ We do not mean toimply that there is anything very vicious or degrading in the casual enjoyment of desultory refreshment. Far from it."—** Really,” writes our friend of the Athenzum, ‘‘if this be the best Eton can do, Eton must have sadly fallen off. Compare this stuff with the Old GEtonian, and the difference is the difference between childishness and manliness, —A straining after the facetious which is not comic, and an oc- casional grandiloquence which is anything but impressive.’’—The Athenz- um, I am afraid, needs the rod, as much as the boy: the difference is the ‘difference between childishness and manliness: anything but impressive, VER. 167. One winking wildly, shut his other eye,| Impossible; we pronounce it, impossible ; physiologically impossible ; we have tried it our- selves, together with the ¢/i¢e of our staff, without success, Impossible. Ep. ATH. VER, 169. his breeches bound his hair,| For this, we are free to admit, as our Friend expresses it, Carlyle has unquestioned historical au- thority, in the usage of the Turks, who, to this day, bear above their heads, as the national standard, nothing else than Mahomet’s breeches, cut some- what like our knee-breeches, 248 THE OBLIVIAD. Book IV. His voice now stifled, presently was loud, No matter what, could he but gain the crowd. Around they draw, and pleased is ev’ry eye To see him dance his bear from Germany ; While Browning, Swinburne, give the tuneful tone, 175 And Sala strikes the tongs and marrow-bone. Huzza! again, huzza! the voices swell, The clumsy creature seen to skip so well ; When round his hat Carlyle just then conveys, Till many pence he gets, who got much praise. 180 Declare, O Muse, who now the tackle brings From night eternal and the depth of things. Thy fortune, reader, has it been to pass An hour on railroad of the second-class ; Commercial bagman hear recite his tale, 185 And how he ate his cheese, and drank his ale ; Now low the phrase, now mounting to the “ fine,” With whom his fortune yesterday to dine, NOTES. VER, 170. that raw baboon] The bare-breeched ape; a very dis- gusting creature, and, since nothing, in the scheme of Providence, is without design, sent on earth to mortify human creatures, and make them wear breeches, © ’Tis the slave in the triumph, and every one carries dehind him, as in the chariot, that which sinks his pride, VER. 174. Germany ;| Whence Mr. Carlyle drew the principles of his philosophy ; worthy of the wits they came from, profound as the place they went to, and perfectly obscure. VER. 179. his hat] His breeches, that is, which must have been rolled into the shape of a turban, or, rather, full-bottomed wig, like those in Hogarth; unless we suppose that Mr, Carlyle, in point of fact, had a hat, and that it was not from any necessity, that he bound his head in the manner mentioned, but for ‘sake of singularity.’ Ep. ATH, VER, 184. second-class ;| As the Reader herein addressed is a man of the first class, he could only find himself thus dislocated by turn of for- tune, or accident, so frequent on railroads, Book IV. THE OBLIVIAD. * 249 While-circumstance enough to fill a book Divides the praise between his host and cook ; 190 Cigar who gave him, how the Yankees spit, With his own jest, and his own laugh at it: E’en Trollope such, imagined to the eye In “traveller” type of true vulgarity, Save that with pen deliberate he writes 195 What the more lively bagman but recites ; His joke the same served stale upon the dish, When wit, to win us, should be fresh, like fish ; While such the tale applauding crowds to draw Of all a coxcomb was, and all he saw: 200 NOTES. VER. 193. Trollope] Would that I had done with all such! suffice it, that Mr. Trollope’s history is that of the rest, a writer of many books, which, critically speaking, are, or very soon will be, dead, dead, dead. Not worth powder ; or, if you please, pen, ink, and paper. Anthony Trollope, son of Mr, and Mrs. ‘Trollope, legitimate by his mo- ther, who was writer and traveller. Published novels of the ordinary kind, and also of that other kind called histories, with books of travels. VER. 195. he writes} As my constant aim is to avoid all causes of jealousy among the reigning monarchs of literature, and never, in eny way, to give them real cause of offence, knowing the irritability of authors, I must here do that justice to Trollope that I have done the rest, and allow him to answer for himself; as follows; ‘“ Hotels, as an institution, are, on the whole, a comfortable arrange- ment.” “Asa rule,”’ *¢ Jonathan is becoming bumptious, no doubt.” ‘© Never ate such bacon and pease.” IMITATIONS. VER. 200, all a coxcomb was, and all he saw :| ‘quzeque ipse miserrima vidi, Et quorum pars magna fui.” neid, Lib, IL, v. 5. 11" 250 * THE OBLIVIAD. Book IV. For as its tail still gives the kitten glee, To Trollope thus the oft told repartee. Dragg’d earth half round, the reader next is led Through that most barren hemisphere his head ; Where fancy furnishes alone the hints, 205 And draws the picture in romantic tints ; Such scenes as all our novelists prepare, Which never will be, and which never were. NOTES. VER, 203. Dragg’d earth half round, the reader next is led Through that most barren hemisphere his head ;] For Mr. Trollope traveled through all the Western World, and then made the “grand tour” of his own Ca/varia, where having found all barren, he decked it in romance and landscape of his own, Hemisphere, his head? you inquire. Exactly so; for although Man may appear, like a pepperbox, finished off above with a cupola, yet, examined internally, in that part where the brain should be, it is but half the size it seems, and only a sort of cockloft, ill-lit by a couple of openings beneath the eaves, and, for the most part, without furniture. And, as man is all of a piece, so does he affect to look twice as wise as he is, twice as knowing, and twice as rich; on authority of Bacon, who says that there is usually less wisdom, less learning, and less wealth, than people gain credit for. VER, 208. Which never will be, and which never were.] And does this writer advance this, as if it were to the discredit of Trollope, or of any other novelist ; who then, one would fancy, most excel when they bring in something zove/, or which never entered into any one’s head be- fore? In those regions beyond the walks of nature, knowledge is out of place, as but showing things known, when the whole rests on invention, IMITATIONS. Ver. 201, For as its tail still gives the kitten glee, To Trollope thus the oft told repartee, Mit wenig Wik und viel VBehagen Dreht jeder fid) tm engen Zirkeltan3, Wie junge Kaken mit dem Schwanz, Goethe's Werke, Band 12, 1829, Stuttgart und Tiibingen, Book IV. THE OBLIVIAD. 251 No need of study, his to write away, What chance may rise, with chit-chat of the day; 210 Trick off his puppets in a tinsel dress, Three volumes make complete, and haste to press. And must this age from censure be exempt, And novelist with us be not contempt; Shall noble, common, country and the town, 215 The gen’ral nation prostitute renown ; At public banquets Trollope send a plate, And think they do much honour to the ‘ great ;’ Of Dickens, Dixon, Sala, sound the praise, And be the laughingstock to future days! 220 A mass immense, with much commingling slime, Of books and authors, toss’d from time to time, Now on the shore in such disorder press’d, You scarce could tell great Bancroft from the rest. A cautious poet when he first appears, 225 Historian daring in his riper years, Whose prose ascending, as his verses sank, They came to one dead level on the bank. NOTES. or the zew. If Satan could say, Evil be thou my good, we can say, Igno- rance be thou my knowledge; by whose aid it is that ‘ things that never will be, and that never were’ are brought before the understanding. En, ATH. VER. 224. great] So called in the sense that Blackmore was styled the ‘‘ everlasting.” Am. Ep. VER. 225. poet] In which capacity Mr. Bancroft values himself above what his history entitles him to; through that paternal partiality which blinded Milton, when he preferred the Paradise Regained. Being lately at an auction, when a copy of his poems was knocked down, at forty dollars, why, he exclaimed, with great satisfaction, it is worth more than my history. Am. Ep. VER. 228. They came to one dead level] By which it is plain, that, from 252 THE OBLIVIAD. Book IV. Of his own pupils kept the schoolboy skill, With pompous period all the page to fill, 230 The nation’s story occupied his head, By Bancroft written, and by no one read. The sinking shelf can scarce the volumes take, That bought and kept just for our country’s sake ; Each patriot proud that patent to the eye, 235 How large the void. we fill in history. As in deep waters when the seine is thrown, And caught, instead of shad, some shapeless stone ; While disappointed fishers in a pet, D—n the dull lump that like to break their net: 240 NOTES, the difference natural between the two species of writing, the flattest verse, and the most tumid prose, meet at the same devel, Am. Ep. Ibid. dead level} The natural tendency of things: Hills descend, and valleys fill; water, like all modern productions, immediately finds its level ; castles fill up their own moats; the fortune raised by the miser, is cast right and left by his heir; monarchies sink into republics; until, finally, all distinctions will be obliterated. Even the inequalities in the moon, astronomers inform us, cease to appear. Whence, it is clear that Mr. Bancroft but followed za¢zse, which is the chief praise of a composer. Gravity, or heaviness, is the pervading principle. VER. 229. his own pupils] Mr. Bancroft, before sent Minister to England, taught school. Am. Ep. VER. 234. Jor our country’s sake ;| Asa certain patriot was heard tosay: ‘I tried to read it, for the sake of my country; but was compelled to desist, for the sake of myself. When occasion calls, I am ready to sacri- fice my life, but torture I cannot endure,” °Tis not every man, said Eras- mus, who has the patience of a martyr. Am. Eb. VER, 239. While disappointed fishers, in a pet, D—n, &¢.] A comparison, in the manner of Homer, with accessory images, to enliven and embellish the subject, for which purpose few objects more pleasing Book IV. THE OBLIVIAD. 253 Thus, now, slung high, with dint of toil, appears, What hoped some score shrunk bards, and is but Sears. Big as in Broadway when he takes the air, And struts in state behind his paunch and pair ; NOTES. could present themselves to the fancy than the net and fishermen, such as depicted in the Piscatoria of Sanazzaro. One Perrault, offensively, called this sort of similes, comparaisons @ longue queue, comparisons with a long tail ; he being as dég a biockhead as any offer that ever presumed to cen- sure poet, or was satirized, Ver. 241. slung high,| Hung had been more satirical. Ep. ATH. VER. 242, shrunk bards,] Should we not rather read sunk ; sunk bards? Ep. ATH. Ibid, Such is the difference between the Reviewer and the Reviewed ; or, between the writer for the Review, and the owner of it; as shown in the second Book of this Work. Ibid. Sears.) By birth Irish. Edifor of the National Quarterly, New York. ‘Il y a des gens qui ont besoin d’étre vivans, pour mériter que Von écrive contre eux. Aprés leur mort ils n’en valent pas la peine.’? MEnaGE, Tom. iv., p. 13. VER. 243. Broadway| The American Suburra ; to call it after the name of that street; so famous among strata viarum, mentioned in the writings of Martial, Juvenal, and Persius, being that in which the prosti- tutes walked at night. VER 244. struts in state behind his paunch and pair ;} A false representation of nature ; wt pictura, poesis ; how can a man be de- picted as strutting behind his own paunch, however prominent ? and, as to the Zair, one foot, in perambulating, must still be before, and the other be- hind, as in tandem, a Latin word, which signifies at /ezgth, or longitudinal direction, one before the other. We have the phrase, ‘‘ beside himself,” but how can we speak of one as ‘‘ behind himself”? Adsurdum est. May I not put the question to this writer, out of Ovid, ‘‘ Quéd me mihi detrahis ?” Ep. Nat. Quart, 254 THE OBLIVIAD. Book IV. Where Helmbold heats his half-a-dozen hacks, 245 And Physic finds that Learning too has quacks, -In duchu one, one in bog-Latin deals, And this instructs as much as t’other heals. But in ‘two ships’ Pat tempts again the sea, To shew at home his new gentility ; 250 His native Connemara to regain, And shine the gentleman in watch and chain. Partakes of proffer’d lunch, in coach at aise, Me \ady next, a Countess, if you plaise ; Shows in the States how sep’rate also ranks, 255 And, in a brogue thrice butter’d, grunts his thanks. NOTES. VER. 245. Where Helmbold heats his half-a-dozen hacks,] One of the artifices which this Empiric made use of, to draw attention, was to ride in an open carriage, with six horses ; showing the great skill of the driver. : VER. 247. buchu| A drug got among the Hottentots, that ‘* polite people,” as Addison called them. Ibid. bog-Latin] A sort of dialect, taught in hedge-schools in Ire- land, which bears the same resemblance to classical Latin that bog-wood jewelry does to the genuine. VER. 249. in ‘two ships’ Pat tempts again the sea,| *¢ We went and returned in ¢wo of the best Cunard steamers,’’ = Nat. Quart. June 1870, p. 133. VER. 253. Partakes of proffer'd lunch, in coach at aise, Me lady next, u Countess, if you plaise ;] Met a Countess, in a carriage. ‘‘ But, in America, is there not too much equality?” said the Countess, manifestly desiring to keep the fellow at adistance, ‘* We assured her that the lower classes were kept at their /eve in America, as in other countries.” This being understood, the Countess gave him what remained of luncheon, which he devoured in ten minutes, being less time than that allowed by rule of the road, or twenty minutes, as he informs us, Book IV. THE OBLIVIAD. 255 But judges placed on bench he doubts may know The man in court they saw so long ago. To England hastes, where all the titled still Confess at sight his Lordship of the quill. 260 Then, last, in polish’d Paris glads his view, And finds, as fails his French, his Irish do. Laid next upon the bank, soft-sounding names, With ev’ry line they wrote, some dozen dames ; By broom arraign’d, but not by pen, of sloth, 265 Of verse or prose good housewives, or of both. NOTES. VER, 257. But judges placed on bench he doubts may know The man in court they saw so long ago.] Remembers that he had been in the Criminal Court, at Monaghan, a quarter of a century before. Looked in again, and seeing that the man who was then prosecutor, was now judge, did not think it prudent ‘*to remind him of these facts,” and, without delay, departed. VER. 259. Zo England hastes, where all the titled, &c.] Tapping the shoulder of the ‘‘next English Member, he most cordially and cheerfully took out his pencil, and gave me a note to the Gallery.” VER. 262. And finds, as fails his French, his Irish do.) In Paris, on his way to the Palais Royal, not remembering the word for palace, Mr. Sears told the driver of the facre to take him to the Rioghlan Royal, to which, from the close analogy between French and Irish, he at once replied, we, wé. Desiring to praise the horse, I called him capul breag, which he understood as well as if I had spoken French. VER. 263. Laid next upon the bank, soft-sounding names,] The romantic disposition of our Author is very visible ; he can never men- tion the ‘‘fair’’ without some soft and sounding expression. Laid next upon the bank ; how suggestive! as the Athenaeum expresses it. Am. Ep. Ibid. Laid next upon the bank,} Suggestive ! We suppose that we can guess what is meant, Laid next upon the bank, soft, &c. Ep. ATH. 256 THE OBLIVIAD. Book IV. In dress less diligent ; for seen to slip Aside, of one the buttock, one the hip ; Of needle, honour’d scars, no marks remain, But finger bore the literary stain ; 270 While on each brow distinguishable yet The lines of last night’s thought, or last night’s sweat. But soon a clatter heard on ev’ry side, And noise and nonsense all the talk divide ; As contradiction, brangling, boast, begin, 275 And taunt and treble more augment the din. More keen the gibe, direct the charge arose, And sharper this one’s tongue, and that one’s nose, Until with louder laugh a third confounds, And won the day by dissonance of sounds. 280 Unblushing Beecher, eager to defame, And charge with crime too shocking here to name ; Stops not at dirt domestic, but displays Her filthy function to the gen’ral gaze. NOTES. VER. 268. seen to slip Aside, of one the buttock, one the hip ;| Understand, false but~ tocks, and false hips, with false breasts, should there be occasion to intro- duce them. Ver. 281. Unblushing Beecher,| Mrs. Harriet Elizabeth Beecher Stowe. As the name of Beecher is so famous in literature, as well as in-other mat- ters, I prefer speaking under this her maiden name of that lady who, among a vast variety of other works, wrote ‘‘ Uncle Tom’s Cabin,” ‘‘ My Wife and I,” with ‘* Stories ahout Our Dogs ;’’ to which followed ‘‘ The True Story of Lady Byron’s Life,” in which she accused Lord Byron of Incest. This drawing universal attention, she wrote and published ‘* Lady Byron Vindi- cated,” and examined, with great nicety, the question of ¢zcest, in all its divisions, moral, physical, and physiological, It is hoped that, from the great knowledge she has acquired of shocking crimes, that she will drag her * Dogs,” above mentioned, into the subject, and write another book for the closet, Book IV. THE OBLIVIAD. 257 Tells all ‘‘ her friend” had said, with her reply ; 285 Of which one word if you believe, not I. NOTES. VER. 283. Stops not at dirt domestic, but displays Her filthy function to the gen'ral gaze.| The French have a proverb, Lavez votre linge sale en famille ; in defiance of which, Mrs. Stowe took home with her Lady Byron’s linen, (which was more than ordinarily dirty, for reasons somewhat obscurely hinted at just. below,) and washed it in the gaze of the multitude: very much as was the Arabian custom, of exhibiting the proofs of violation on the sheets, the next morning after marriage; the difference being mainly in the colour of the stain. We have all heard of the beggarly Scotchman who, for half-a-crown, fired off a blunderbus, leveled against religion and morality, after the death of him who had loaded it. In which manner also it is that Mrs. Stowe un- covers beneath our noses that engine known, in barbarous, as in domestic, warfare, as a stinkpot, and stirs it up, from time to time, for the same mo- tive of filthy lucre, Ibid. Mrs, Stowe: there is a secret I wish to confide to your ears; ’tis not to every one I would tell it; a thing too gross for me, but which you may enlarge upon, with the privilege of your sex: The vea/ cause of sepa- ration between this Noble Pair, I have on what is good authority ; a mis- chance not unheard of in other families, noble and common: He sent her home with what My Lord, in Don Juan, called a ‘‘small present ;” at which, naturally, My Lady took much offence. You will see, Ma’am, that this removes the whole mystery. This, Lady Byron never told you; it was of a nature that would not bear telling; it disgraces him who gave, and her who got. But for you, no disgrace can attend you; that you have gone through already. You have, therefore, but to dwell on this subject, histo- rically, how this thing first began, morally, how caught, and, surgically, how cured; and, my word for it, the book will have a large sale, and, most likely, furnish occasion for a second one, by way of reply; ‘‘ Mrs. Stowe Vindicated.” For this piece of information, I ask no return; youcan have it gratis ; iike other filth, which one person is glad to be rid of, but which another is glad to take away, and make profit of: ’tis the muck-woman’s business, VER. 285. Zells all‘ her friend” had said, with her reply ;] “© Then 1 was sure he must love me.” ‘*Anddidhenot?” saidI. ‘* What other cause could have led to thisemotion?” She looked at me very sadly, and said, ‘* Fear of detection,’” ‘* What!” said I, ‘did ¢hat cause then ex- 258 THE OBLIVIAD. Book IV. Repeats of bagnio what but vile dispute, And bargain struck ’twixt pimp and prostitute ; No need of which on distant shores to toil, That found at home, and racy of the soil: 290 Assign’d to others that which all her own, Whose words we read, and think we hear the tone. NOTES. ist >.” (Whence it would appear that she knew of the cause before she was told of it.) ‘* Yes,”’ she said, ‘it did.” ‘It is the cause, it is the cause, my soul; Let me not name it to you, you chaste stars.” But Othello, the black, had more delicacy than Stowe, the white, VER. 288. bargain struck twixt pimp and prostitute ;} *« He told her, that, as he could not be expected to confine himself to her, neither could he expect or wish that she should confine herself to him; that she was young and pretty,”” &c.—‘‘ One night, in her presence, he treated his sister with a liberty which both shocked and astonished her, ‘I sup- pose,” said he, ‘‘you perceive you are not wanted here. Go to your own room, and leave us alone. We can amuse ourselves better without you.” !!! VER. 291. all her own,| Or, are we to believe that Lady Byron invented this slander, out of revenge, and knowing that an Englishwoman, with sufficient qualifications, could not be found for the business, gave it to one already public, with pen to play the prostitute, for payment, as usual? “Those whom your wit and reason cant decry, Make scandalous with loads of infamy ; Make Luther monster, by a fiend begot, Brought forth with wings, and tail, and cloven foot ; Make whoredom, izcest, worst of vice, and shame, Pollute, and foul his manners, life, and name.” Mutato nomine, Byrox in place of Luther, and these verses, from OLD- HAM, are not inapplicable. IMITATIONS. VER. 292. Whose words we read, and think we hear the tone.] Rancidulum quiddam balba de nare locutus. Persil Sat. i., v. 33. Book IV. THE OBLIVIAD. 259 Stand forth, fraternal that all eyes may see That brow bomb-proof to culpability, Though double scandal vilifies the name, 295 And Beecher blacken’d to eternal shame. A woman, else, whose knowledge none deny, That to the bottom groped in Sodomy ; Offence of Onan show’d ’gainst Nature’s ways, But not that act misnamed of now-a-days ; 300 Those concubines of which the Hebrews tell, No man could please, except by miracle ; As loving pastor put to proof, she said, Who with a dozen did his best in bed ; Since which less prone the Mormon to deride, 305 Who, after all, had Scripture on his side. Proceeding whence, minutely to discuss The point, she owns her doubts of Proculus. NOTES. VER. 297. whose knowledge none deny,| In this is candour, and evidence of a mind that rises above injustice. Mrs. Stowe’s knowledge is praised ; and, indeed, so her ¢zvention also, in those lines above, where ‘all her friend had said,’ is ascribed to Mrs. Stowe herself. Ep. ATH. VER. 298. Sodomy ;] GENESIS, chap. xix, VER. 299. Offence of Onan] ‘* And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto thy brother’s wife, and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother. And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother’s wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother.” GENEsIS, chap. xxxviii, v. 8. VER. 300. not that act misnamed of now-a-days ;] Vid. Tissot, Sur L’Onanisme. VER. 308. Proculus.| ‘* Proculus Metiano affini S. D. Centum ex Sarmatia Virgines cepi. Ex his una nocte decem inivi; omnes tamen, quod in me erat, mulieres intra dies XV reddidi.’’ Voriscus, Hist. August. Script. p. 363. 26¢ THE OBLIVIAD. Book IV. To Moulton Proctor boldly gives the lie, And proves intact was her virginity ; 310 To conscious sofa might, she said, appeal, ‘Could sofas tell us what but virgins feel. Of ‘‘ His Two Wives” Ames ‘sends the tale to press, And leaves her husband of one wife the less. Strong-minded these with mutual insult vex, 315 And leave much small talk to the ‘‘ weaker sex: ” A green-sick beverage, that swells a sea When kettle bubbles up, and drench’d the tea, NOTES. VER. 300. Moulton| Mrs. This lady has not written much, that I have heard of, (for I would not undertake to assert that any one, in the present day, has not written,) though she has dictated not a little, as seen in a Work, in two large volumes, called the ‘‘ Beecher Trial.” Ibid. Proctor] Miss. Authoress of ‘‘ Beecher Life Thoughts,” VER, 310. proves intact was her virginity ;] She swore to it; what more would you have? Parent Du Chatelet, in his Work entitled Prostitution dans la Ville de Paris, informs us that a couple of notorious prostitutes submitted themselves to examination by the Sur- geons, men of much experience, who passed them as virgins ; so illusive are the physical signs, VER. 311. conscious sofa] The sage Historian of Connecticut gives it as his opinion, that the bed itself, with bundling, is less to be feared than the sofa ; to which, had he daughters, he assures us, he would very reluc- tantly intrust them, unless ‘‘ after a proper education.” PETERS, Hist. of Conn., p. 228. VER. 313. “His Two Wives” Ames] One of the novels which Mrs. Ames wrote has this title. VER. 314. leaves her husband of one wife the less.| Mrs, Ames separated from her husband, or her husband separated from her, if it was not by mutual repulsion, through an incompatibility of virtues. ‘‘Il y a, sans mentir,” said La Bruyére, ‘‘de certains mérites qui ne sont point faits pour étre ensemble, de certaines vertus incompatibles,”? VER. 317. A green-sick beverage,| Enigmatical: for it may mean things quite opposite, as interpreted ; either that it was a beverage that gave the Book IV. THE OBLIVIAD. 261 With dainties such as Field or Holmes supplies, Mere mix’d molasses, pap, and pasty, pies. 320 A windy diet, which in paunch remains When colic torture deem’d parturient pains ; And ev’ry barren book by words is brought To seem as if impregnated with thought : Joanna Southcott not so big a sham, 325 Or widening womb of Burdell Cunningham. NOTES. green sickness, or one medicinal in the treatment of it; or, indeed, both one and the other, conversely, ‘since what will cause a disease, will cure a disease. If green be the article of tea intended in this obscure line, as is likely, then a cure must be understood, by the doctrine of Signatures and Sympathies ; which shews that, in case of any malady, we have only to observe the symptoms of it, and then to search for some substance bearing a resemblance thereto, whether in colour, or some other respects, which serve as the signature of Mature, who, in this manner, may be said to write her own materia medica, Ep. ATH. VER. 319. Field| Miss Kate. ‘‘ Pen Sketches.” ‘‘Ten Days in Spain,” and Fifty years in Boston, the smell of which is very strong in her Spanish ; flippant Yankee dialogue, with nothing foreign except the title; just as if she were to draw a pine-apple from the pumpkin before her. Ibid. folmes] Authoress in the more airy and livelier parts of Literature. Recommended to all who set no value on their time or their money, which include the more fashionable class of readers. VER. 325. Foanna Southcott] A fanatic, who, at the age of sixty, gave out that she was pregnant, and would give birth to a second Shiloh. Very many people believed her statement, and one, among the wealthy, provided a golden cradle, to receive the Infant. On her death, it was found that it was but water which had distended her. VER. 326. Burdell Cunningham.| This woman, announcing her marriage with Dr, Burdell, and under suspicion of having murdered him, simulated the gravid intumescence, with the pains of labour ; when, obtain- ing a child from the hospital, she declared, as proof of its paternity, that it had the Burdell nose, and was heir to the estate, accordingly. Am. Ep. “ a 262 THE OBLIVIAD. Book IV. A moment view’d, some score of skirts between, Old woman thought, whose gender epicene, Unsocial Saunders ; he who sat so long A stranger still ’mid all that learned throng, 330 And, in reward, at length who thrust away Where dark Oblivion welcomed him from day, To dust some mouldy manuscripts on shelf, Set the spittoon, or lick the spit himself. Brevoort beside him, on an easy seat, 335 When lunch had served the too abundant treat, NOTES. VER. 329. Unsocial Saunders ;| This gentleman, who occupies a subordi- nate position in the Astor Library, was, ordinarily, so much engaged in study, that he could give but short answers to those asking for books, Some one, curious to see who the writers were that engaged the attention of a man in his learned position, peeped over, on different occasions, and found thathe was intent on Mrs. Sherwood’s stories, but, more commonly, on his own productions, which were ‘‘ Salad for the Solitary,” ‘Salad for the Social,” and ‘‘ Dictionary of Love,” Am. Ep, VER. 330. learned throng,} A poetical way for expressing the Works of the Learned ; which, to the number of Two hundred Thousand, were on the shelves all about him. VER. 332. Where dark Oblivion welcomed him] Has been removed into a back room, where he is quite out of sight. VER. 335. Brevoort] A Gentleman of large estate, at present somewhat burdened by taxation, taking a great interest in Literature, who, at the very urgent solicitation of his friends, but chiefly out of a desire to benefit the Public, accepted the Office of Superintendent to the Astor Library, at a salary not more than double that of his predecessor, and only with one ad- ditional clerk, to do the drudgery : whereby, for the simple matter of five thousand dollars a year, over-and-above what we paid formerly, with per- quisites and patronage, we have a Gentleman to dignify this Institution, where he may be seen, some mornings, between the hours of twelve and two o’clock, VER. 336. Zunch] Supplied at the Restaurant @-/a-mode next door to the Library, Lafayette Place, New York. ‘* The feast of reason and the Book IV. THE OBLIVIAD. 263 Asks how much left of all that Astor will’d, And yards of shelf that yet remain unfill’d: Five thousand still he finds the funds insure, And thanks who gave so fat a sinecure. 340 The Lotos Club, as num’rous wont to sup, Heap’d in a basket high, here lifted up, Like Athenzus while I fain would twist The tale complete of each Deipnosophist, The joke he laugh'd at, smutty things he said, 345 And bottles emptied ere he went to bed ; Suffice that here, with more than common pains, I give the sum of all that now remains ; How one conceal’d the student in his look, While t’other, somewhat tedious, talk’d his book, 350 Whose thoughts confusion made so fast to slide, He kept a shorthand writer by his side ; How fluent that from Tennyson to quote, Or his dear grandam seen in this to dote ; NOTES. flow of soul,” with the, &c., which, with the scraps, I leave to the wits of the Athenzeum. VER. 341. The Lotos Club,] A Society of Gentlemen, most of them en- gaged in Commercial pursuits through the day, who seek oblivion of their cares in the evening, and, together with supper, partake of the delights of literature, Ver. 343. Like Atheneus while I fain would twist The tale complete of each Deipnosophist,| The Deipnosophists, or Banquet of the Learned, by Athenzeus, who com- mences with an account of those whowere present thereat. VER. 345- smutty things he said,] Smut; the favourite topic. Walpole, the Minister, used to say, that he always introduced it, as that on which all could show their wit, and with which all would be delighted, 264 THE OBLIVIAD. Book IV. And, last, Brentano, bird of night, how brought 355 By merit much of his one ‘‘ Grain of Thought.” — NOTES. VER. 355. Brentano,| The American Stephanus, Browyer, Bohn, or whatever name of the learned Booksellers, is consonant to his own, and most pleasing to his ears. In this ingenious man the weight of learning has not repressed the elasticity of fancy, of which we have full evidence in the Poem he published lately, occupying, with mottoes, and other Greek and Latin quotations, inclusive of the authorities, twenty-four columns of the ‘* New-York Times;’’ a work comparable with the Iliad, or, for the matter of that, with the Odyssey, in which the books are numerically the same, that is, a couple of dozen each.—(This, although actually in print, in which state our Author must have seen it, never came out, after all. Am. ED.) Lbid, bird of night\ The owl, bird of Athens, (Athenas noctuas,) or of Minerva, typical of the nocturnal, or shall we say, noctual occupa- tions of the sage, and not in any way glancing at that studious cast of the eyes which long poring over the labours of the moderns has given them; ’t is the Laputa physiognomy. VER, 336. “* Grain of Thought.”] A poem of Brentano, of which the following is the opening stanza: “© Of all that’s best, in best supplies OF best of things of merchandise, Of all that’s nice And ‘‘fair to see,” Whatever price ’t is said to be, Of all that fascinates the eye, And stops the breath, and draws the sigh From those who hav’nt means to buy, OF all that’s known as choice, or rare, Or excellent beyond compare, There’s not a single thing that’s bought However marvellously wrought, More precious tan a GRAIN oF THOUGHT.” Nothing in Tennyson to be put into comparison with it, The pity is, that another line was not added, which would have made fourteen, or a Sonnet in itself complete. The much merit (‘‘ merit much”) of the poem, gave occasion to the election of the author thereof into the Club, sem. dss. Book IV. THE OBLIVIAD. 265 How dark the stain which that fair tome receives, Which once so beauteous in its tinted leaves ; Those da//e¢ charms, that meretricious frame, With swelling pap, and hip, no more the same! 360 Not all that Brougham, Brooks, and Nasby gave Could save them sinking in an early grave ; Far down they went, the artist and his pride, Where Bissell, Boulton, Roosevelt, by their side; [365 Where Pardee, Peck, and more whose names unknown, That now by fond Oblivion mark’d her own; Where Lethe smooth on bed of lotos glides, And rest the drowsy in eternal tides. NOTES. VER. 357. fair tome] A sumptuous volume, named the Lotos Leaves, the ‘exceptional’ merit of which we are the less to wonder at, as it is the joint production of the Wits of the Club, La Bruyére had said, “‘L’on n’a guére vu jusqu’a présent un chef-d’ceuvre d’esprit qui soit Youvrage de plusieurs.” But the “ Leaves” is not a single chef-d’ceuvre, except as to the binding, which is excellent, but a collection of smaller pieces, such as the Ancients were accustomed to compile, an Anthology, or Bouquet de Fleurs, VER. 359. Those ballet charms, &c.] The Frontispiece represents a Vir- gin, nymph of the Stream, reclining on leaves of Lotos, with a languishing look, and such a figure as leads to suppose that the choicest of the dancing girls lay for the picture. VER. 361. Brougham, Author of ‘* Pocahontas,”’ a metrical drama, and many other pieces for the stage, but whose chief claim, by far, is that he wrote ‘* London Assurance,” which ordinarily passes under the name of Boucicault. Pretenders of this kind are not newin the world; Thestorides attributed to himself the verses of Homer, and Bathyllus those of Virgil: ‘* Sic vos non vobis,” IMITATIONS. VER. 365. whose names unknown, That now by fond Oblivion, &c.] ** Nameless in dark oblivion let them dwell.’? ParaD. Lost, B. vi., v. 380. 12 266 THE OBLIVIAD. Book IV. Memorials all, the minutes all defaced, That but Brentano none the rest had traced. 370 A man whose wisdom in each wink you see, And blest with an amazing memory ; Each author’s name who, at the word, can tell, With all the books he wrote, and if they sell. And yet his match in Sabin he had found, 375 In titles, that not Latin, much more sound ; Whose boast at OXFORD to have conn’d each rule, For there, in truth, he had been scourged at school. NOTES. Lbid. Brooks,| This Gentleman, with the half-dozen ames following immediately after, writers in the Lotos Leaves, I must huddle here together, as a sort of proletarit. VER. 365. Pardee, Peck,| Those who remember how much Virgil has been praised for the skill by which he made the most vulgar sounds har- monious in his numbers, will not overlook the difficulty offered by Pardee, Peck, and the other harsh names here introduced. Am. Ep. VER. 375. Sabin] Joe; a second-hand dealer, in Nassau street, N. Y.; where a box of 5c. books outside, invites to a larger supply in the cellar, Consulted, by those who know no better, on editions; and who, lately, giving evidence, as expert, in Court, was graveled by the lawyer, who had asked him to read the title of a book, which, being in Latin, he had good reason for not doing; in-as-much as it was many years since he had been at Oxford. VER. 376. Ln titles, that not Latin, much more sound ;\ Mr. Sabin, we are told, is only 4a/f pleased with this praise, on account of the qualification, as if, in any respect, he were inferior to the other; which is unreasonable, as Brentano has been vigilant to guard his Latin, unlike Sabin ; according to his favourite motto, nunquam dormio, or, as he de- lights to pronounce it, non cam dormio, I dont nod on Cam: an allusion to the rival university, or that of Cambridge, in,opposition to Oxford, where Sabin was supposed to have studied, wt izfra, Sometimes, through a too ambitious display of his learning, Mr. B. too much alters the meaning, as when he wrote, nunquam zox dormio, VER. 377. Oxford] ’Twas his usual reply, when asked where he had studied, ‘‘at Oxford;” which was very true, for he was at school there; Book IV. THE OBLIVIAD. 267 But now Brentano aggravates his sins, Much swearing, ’gainst his wont, and thus begins :- 380 With haste, I say ; set wide apart the door; That heap, unsalted, rots upon the floor ; What smelling strong e’en to the hawker give, And what you buy, like lobsters see they live ; For things that saleable let these make way, 385 And send to ‘‘ deep damnation ”’ ere their day ; Let Ann street sepulchres a cart-load get, And none but gilded baits by window set.— “« To-day, Brentano, doubtless something new ; Or is your New-Year’s stock still kept from view ?” 390 This, sir, by latest steamer fresh from sea, The Pope and Gladstone o’er a cup of tea; Please but to read, ’tis all about the Church, And Cardinals, with Pio, in the lurch ; NOTES. though many hastily concluded that he meant the UNIVERSITY, where the sons of Gentlemen are sent. VER. 387. Ann street sepulchres} In the cellars of this lane, in the lower part of New-York, are the great receptacles for stale books; a sort of Oblivion in miniature, VER. 388. gilded batts] Instead of a worm or fly, it has been found sufficient to put on the hook a scrap of tin-foil, or something else equally shining, by which the simple fish are allured, and which they swallow, sup- posing that something of a digestible nature is covered by it. VER. 392. The Pope, &c.] As will be seen, by those who read a little farther on, every department has a place in the repositories of Brentano: the Pope represents the ecclesiastical, Gladstone the political, Dixon the scandalous, Tennyson the namby-pamby, and himself, Brentano, the poetical. IMITATIONS. VER. 386. * deep damnation’ | *s The deep damnation of his saking-off.” SHAK, Mac., Act. i., 5, 7. 268 THE OBLIVIAD. Book IV. Unless this other more your praises win, 395 Outcast at home, who seeks his next of kin.— The Lotos Leaves; to nature true each trace ! Yes, Ma’am, by Dixon; boy, the ‘‘ Beecher Case.” Of Poet Tennyson—just come in time, The only copy left—the ‘‘ Nursery Rhyme.” 400 Myself with verse sometimes at night I lull, When, as our poets prove, the fancy dull. — The,—yes, I think, I, last year, heard the name ; Oblivion, did you call it? true, the same. A trivial thing, and out of date, I fear, 405 For nothing of that sort outlives the year. You needs must search some antiquarian stock, I never but the newest things unlock ; More likely Miller, as you take the round, Or Scribner, Bouton, may the book have found. 410 NOTES. VER. 396. Outcast at home, who seeks his next of kin.—] Mr. Gladstone had, lately, by one of his greatest efforts, put himself out of f/ace in England ; whence forced to take ship for America, in hopes to find support among his next of kin, who there had emigrated, and who, he had heard, were in better circumstances than those at home, A piece of history worthy an additional word, which, if space remain for it, the Reader may find at the end of this Volume, among the ADDENDA, Ver. 4o1, Myself with verse sometimes at night I lull, When, as our poets prove, the fancy dull,—] “ Visits me slumbering,” are the words of MILTON, addressing the Muse ; yet has the general opinion been that the morning befriends the poet ; Au- rora Musis amica; in which also Brentano appears to have shared, who offers it as an excuse, (though not required,) for the dulness of his lines, that they were written at night, like all other modern poetry, judging from internal evidence. Milton himself has been spoken of as ‘‘a little heavy,” and, as for the ‘‘ Vights Thoughts,” it is the chief objection against them. VER. 409. as you take the round,| Rather, the Row ; as all these Publishers are in the American Pater Noster, Ep, ATH. x Book IV. THE OBLIVIAD. 269 The ‘' Bullfrog Sketches,” sir, perhaps you'll buy, Which all the learned praise, and which do T; Or Warner’s ‘‘ Saunterings,” with Boston things, And verses such as her own Trowbridge sings ? Athenean Boston, still the great delight 415 Of all that read the stupid, and that write. What lumber, last, so difficult to lift, Which thrice already from the tackle slipt ? Late claim’d by Dixon, which Magruder’s once, (From this to that, ’tis all the same, a dunce,) 420 These Athenzums, sots were wont to seek To near Oblivion all which sent each week. NOTES. Ver. 411. The “ Bullfrog Sketches,’’} By The Mark Twain. VER. 413. Warner’ s| Chas, D. ‘‘Saunterings,” ‘‘ Badeck,” ‘‘ Back Log,” and the ‘‘ Levant.” Ibid. Boston things,| ‘* Boston Notions,” I believe it is; for I had just but time to see it, ia passing. VER. 414. Trowbridge] Jno. T. Author of ‘‘ Other Poems, with the Emigrant ;" of ‘Other Poems, with the Vagabond ;” and of ‘*Cou- pon Bonds, with Pictures.’’ VER. 415. Athenean Boston, It has been the pride of the people of this town of Trade, and of Tricks of Trade, to call it the modern Athens; from acknowledged merit of a number of declaimers, poetasters, and other writers, their fellow money-makers. To the ancient Athens we owe all that is noble in the arts, grand on the stage, and great in the assembly, with whatever is admirable in life; to the modern, all that is ingenious in nutmegs, nasal in the pulpit, and fanatic in the ‘‘ Hall,” with whatever is hypocritical in man- ners: all which Boston has, and, as her own Webster. expressed it, ‘‘no one can take them from her.” VER. 419. Magruder’s| For this name, as applied to one of the former editors of the Athenzeum, see BULWER’s ‘ Paul Clifford.” VER. 420. From this to that, tis all the same, a dunce,) ‘* Moribus antiquis stat Roma.” 270 THE OBLIVIAD. Book IV. In times far distant rose a Scene to view, Where Greece long proud in all the Arts she drew, Where with Minerva seen the Muse to sit, 425 And melody disdain’d not aid from wit ; Contrived the poet, spoke his truths the sage, And each lent lustre to a glorious age. Alas! what change when Time completes the work, Defiled, dismantled, and on guard the Turk, 430 With ordure noisome, spread with weed the walls, There next the bat, and there the viper crawls. The pilfer’d name to distant climes convey’d, And set where Dulness plies a busy trade ; Where wit nor wisdom, save what best may bend 435 Much ductile falsehood to a gainful end ; NOTES. VER. 422, near Oblivion] 'Tis but a step; straight down to the Thames: you can’t miss it. From the door of the Athenzeum to the Thames, down Wellington street, is but a dock and a half. : Am. Ep. VER. 425. Where with Minerva seen the Muse to sit,] In Athens was a place of instruction named the Athenzeum, frequented by Philosophers and Poets alike, but sacred especially to the Goddess of Wis- dom, the guide in every department of knowledge. Am. Ep. VER. 433. Zhe pilfer’d name] The Atheneum, To what vile uses are we put! Byron, who inveighed against the ‘ paltry Antiquarian” who had despoiled Athens of her monuments, would not have left without notice the sacrilegious Thief, who stole away the tablet from one of her Temples, and set it, for a sign, over the door of his shop; a place dedicated to Gain, an employment, among the Ancients, consigned to Sv/aves, and thus excluded from among those arts they called the Zzderad, Athenzum, a title consigned to dulness by anticipation, as there had been a previous journal of that name. VER. 434. where Dulness plies a busy trade ;) Tt is worthy of remark that, in the Temple of Dulness, Apprson placed Industry at the right hand of the Deity. ‘‘ There is not in nature,” said another elegant English writer, ‘‘a busier animal than a blockhead.” Book IV. THE OBLIVIAD. 271 And toil whose duty daily to declaim ’Gainst each the great, and bar the gates to fame ; Where Dixon gives the word, and round him lurk Retainers ready for his dirty work ; 440 A tippling tribe, and greasy sans-culotte, At elbows out, and button’d to the throat: Her owl alone of great Athena found, Snakes hissing hateful, and but stench around. NOTES. VER. 436. @ gainful end ;| That charlatan, Silk Buckingham, laid the base of this besutted shop, of which he seems to bave been so much ashamed, that, after a short trial, he ‘sold out’ toone Dilke, who, indiffe- rent as.to the rest, and, in default of other sciences, understanding political economy, kept an eye to business, and secured all that gain which arises from ill-paid labour and high prices; 3d. at first, for what you can buy at a penny, before the week is out, as waste paper. VER. 440. Retainers ready for his dirty work ;] In all parts of this Poem, the Author, as the Reader cannot fail to have remarked, has still kept within the limits of decorum, and never given way to harsh expressions ; indulging himself simply in a goodhumoured raillery, as in the present instance ; unlike others, as Mr. Charles Reade, for instance, who, under great provocation, no doubt, has thus spoken of one of the Gen- tlemen of the Athenzeum: ‘‘ A reptile, a pseudonymuncle, one in your pay, a man that has not a character to lose, nor a name that can be lowered, a trickster, ascurrilous skunk ;’” which last expression he could not possibly improve upon ; a single skunk, (horresco referens,) being sufficient to give a bad odour to an entire parish. Am. Ep. Ver. 441. A tippling tribe,] See, in Book ii, v. 388, Note, what Miss BraDpon has said of them; for I am loath to disparage them myself. Czesar came sober to the ruin of the Republic, unlike Sylla; of whom also it was Cesar himself who remarked, /éteras nescivit : in this respect likewise resembling those destroyers in the Republic of Letters, who are at once sots and illiterate, VER. 442. buttoned to the throat :| Toconceal the neglects of the laundress, 272 THE OBLIVIAD. Book IV. The task complete, from many hands it came, 445 And some the praise supplied, and some the blame ; The lumpish one, and one the flimsy part ; But this the venom for the midnight dart ; While flippant, fatuous, a dozen bore, The padding and the stiff as many more; 450 The trite, the trivial these ; but Dixon sole His famed immoral found, and mix’d the whole. NOTES. VER. 445. The task complete, from many hands it came,| To please authors is no easy undertaking ; for what is said in praise of one, the other commonly applies to himself as a censure. In this way it is that, having quoted some passages, with a design to exalt them, from Dickens, Braddon, Carlyle, and’ Trollope, I am forced, in order to escape the resent- ment of the Athenzeum, and possibly a spiteful review, to quote this also, though much pressed for space, and leaving out many things in consequence, GEMS FROM THE ATHENUM. *¢ Should be either conventional or naturalistic. Conventionalized heads, where nothing natural is intended.” ‘* Being made up in the very best style, it has achieved a remarkable success,” ** To carry out the laudable idea,” ** Light and yet grave ; readable in style; kindly instincts ;—no amount of subsequent denial.—Genius is a sham.—Brought together between the covers of a volume,’? &c. ‘How the author can possibly keep his pot of words boiling much longer.” ‘« If the age has grown too picked,” I must here apologize, as well to the Athenzum and others, as to the Reader, on account of the paucity of these extracts, and the want of care in selecting them, since much finer specimens could have been found ; all those transcribed having been taken, to save time, from the first that came to hand, on Zi/ting. VER. 452. His famed immoral] There has been a great outcry against our zmmoral, as it is called, when we but drew the picture, and held up the mirror to nature, naked, and as we descried it ; that which is the proper Book IV. THE OBLIVIAD. 273 A ghastly crew whom urgent Famine calls, They gnaw a week on ev’ry book which falls ; From mangled carcasses snatch each a slice, 455 And Moloch glad with human sacrifice ; Round authors’ necks who taught the rope to stretch, Much fear'd and hooted children of Jack Ketch. But hear, young sinner; soon on Hepworth call, At once, judge, jury, Ketch and Calcraft all ; 460 © NOTES. office of the historian, in whom no part, necessarily, rests of the vices he explores, He who follows truth, may at last find himself in the resorts of the infamous, like a dog that traces a badger to his hole, instinctively, though disliking the odour. Which puts us in mind that there is a class of people with noses so delicate, that they would rather permit the pollution to remain, than make the air noisome in the attempt to remove it, and who would class such writings as ours with those smells used by night-men, that are themselves a greater stench than any they correct, how putrescent soever, To which we desire simply to subjoin, that, as some of the most dangerous poisons lie concealed under the most inviting names, as sugar of lead, wine of opium, oil of a/monds, it occurred to us, in order to gull the fastidious, to use the artifice of describing under the name of spiritual, practices that written of in ordinary phrases, would have brought upon us a descent from the police, and a prosecution from the Society for suppression of indecent publications: for the Public, it may be remarked, would be glad enough of the end, though they cannot endure the means, or him who makes trial of them; who thus may lose his place as Editor, and be forced to write novels, with so little of the old spice as to be insipid and unsale- able. Ep. ATH. VER. 456. And Moloch glad with human sacrifice ;} Moloch was the deity of the Ammonites, who sacrificed human victims be- fore his image, a monstrous mixture of man and calf. To drown the cries of those there tortured, they kept up a noise with a sort of drum. VER. 458. Sack Ketch.] For a more particular account of this Gentleman, wid. supra, 1. iv., v. 70. VER. 459. young sinner ;| ‘* Committing the sin of Rhyme,”’ is a quotation which must be familiar to all students of modern literature. Dry- den has the expression, ‘‘ Commit the crime of Prefaces.” 12* 274 THE OBLIVIAD. Book IV. Be cautious first, and, hid your real contempt, Send simply in your card with compliment ; Nor ready cash, nor hint at bills or banks ; He’d rather spare you at the drop for thanks, And, in cosmeticks more than Rachel clever, 465 Make your last verses ‘‘ beautiful for ever.” NOTES. VER. 460. -Calcraft| For a more particular account of this Gen- tleman, vid, supra, 1, iv., v. 70. VER. 464. spare you at the drop) ** A man may be capable, as Jack Ketch’s wife said of his servant, of a plain piece of work, a bare hanging; but to make a malefactor die sweetly, was only belonging to her husband.” DRYDEN, Prose Works. By Malone. v. iii. p, 188. Ibid. spare you at the drop for thanks,| It is to be understood, however, that the clothes, and other exuviz, as the books, of the con- demned, are, and always have been, by prescription, the perquisite of the Executioner, In proof of which, and also to throw light on 9 few of the lines last afore going, I desire to quote a passage from SHAKESPEARE, Hen. iv., a. 1,8. 2. “‘ Fat. Shall 1? Ovrare! By the Lord, I'll be a brave judge. P. Hen, Thou judgest false already; I mean, thou shalt have the hang- ing of the thieves, and so become a rare hangman. Fal. Well, Hal, well; and in some sort it jumps with. my humour, as well as waiting in the court, I can tell you, P. Hen. For obtaining of suits ? Fal, Yea, for obtaining of suits; whereof the hangman hath no lean wardrobe.” VER. 465. more than Rachel clever,] Rachel. A woman, at this particular time, infamous for impositions on credulous people of fashion, to whom, for enormous sums faid, she pro- mised, among other great things, to make them ‘* beautiful forever.” Her shop was in Bond street, London. Am. Ep. After sojourning five years in the Penitentiary, she again opened shop, with her old arts, and a new stock of phrases; for now she engaged to **renovate,’’ and, (in each case for cash in advance,) to ‘* finish’? the ladies: a daring genius, who has opened the way again to Marlborough street, and left the throng for another term. Am. Eb, Book IV. THE OBLIVIAD. 275 O, thou the light and lantern of our days, E’en Hepworth, hear me while I chaunt thy praise ; Inverter various of the sacred laws Which morals dictate, and the critic draws, 470 From depths of Tartarus here lifted high, And held to an eternal infamy. A daring genius, Dixon leaves the throng, And finds more glaring methods to be wrong ; NOTES. VER. 466. make your last verses *‘ beautiful” ] ‘« Tyburn’s elegiac lines” ; those pathetic verses with which, on so thread- bare a topic, poets find much difficulty, and which, in the present instance, Hepworth, as supposed, embellished for nothing. VER. 467. lantern of our days,) Mr. Dixon may, perhaps, imagine, (since none are so apprehensive of cen- sure, as those who most make use of it themselves,) that this /eztern is in- tended disrespectfully, as presenting a dim and greasy image to the fancy. To remove all suspicion of which sort, I desire to explain that I use the the word archaically, as found in Putnam, his Arte of Poesie, wherein we read, ‘‘ I repute them for the two chief /externs of light to all others that have since embloyed their pennes, &c.’’; meaning no less people than Surrey and Wyat. VER. 469. /nxverter various, &c.] The wife of Cesar should not only be undeserving of suspicion, but free from it. Unfortunately, by this rule, for the chastity of Dixon’s page, it has not escaped question, for which see advertisement in Athenzeum, December, 1868: “‘Eclecting Debating Society, Thursday, Dec. roth, 1868. Subject : That Hepworth Dixon’s writings do not exert an injurious influence. Af- firmative, Mr. J. B. Porter; Negative, Mr. B. Thomas.” VER. 471. From depths of Tartarus] It would appear by these verses, as if Tartarus and Oblivion were the same, which is contrary to all truths of Mythology. The Scientific, therefore, are inclined to conjecture that the grapnel must accidentally have slipt aside, and dropped into this other Pit, which is also in the centre; a place of Darkness, where the unjust, tyrannical, and immoral, of mankind, suffer a perpetual punishment. VER. 474. finds more glaring methods to be wrong ;} This is the reward one gets for originality, which some of the most inge- nivus authors have sought in paradox, or that which is opposed to common 276 THE OBLIVIAD. Book IV. Affects to doubt what all the studious know, 475 And what most fix’d in usage overthrow ; By bad example, teacher to rebel, In style best named the anti-classical : - NOTES. opinion, and is but obviously false. What we have done for literature, it is true, we have done for morals, laboured to instruct by new methods, and bring finally to what is right, by conducting through what is ‘wrong,’ For as fable allures the reader, and, unexpectedly, deceives him to his own good, in the end, (which, according to Aristotle, we desire to see in all things, and whereon the mind naturally rests,) so, in like manner, does the scandalous, which by attracting at first, serves the indispensable purpose of engaging the attention, (for where is the use of writing, if you are not read,) until, when the prostitute appears, and things are brought to the worst, instruc- tion comes in of its own accord, or insidiously, which is the beauty of it, for then it is less repugnant to the reader, especially if he be young, who would never have gone through the book, or would only have tossed it aside contemptuously, as a sermon, if we had proceeded in the o/d way. The under-current is pure; like the waters of our own Thames, from which you have but to remove the dead dogs, with filth of all sorts, and to pass it through a strainer, when you obtain a draught perfectly clear, and which was only defiled, temporarily, by things adventitious: every reader supply- ing his own filter. Besides, there is an analogy in all nature; whence it is that we derive the richest fruits from those trees we had dunged industri- ously, as we do that exquisite perfume the ambergris from what in reality is but feces. So that, since out of excrement the most delicious things may be elaborated, thus also, for instance, out of the most impure of what we have digested in our books, may an essence be separated, without adultera- tion, and then sold as ‘ Extracts’ from Dixon, Wherefore, by the rule here laid down, Swift should not have turned up his nose, or complained of the intolerable stench, in the laboratory of Laputa, where, out of human dung, the chymist was endeavouring to extract human sustenance; or, this Satirist affect to condemn our labours, which, in fact, are entitled to so much the more praise in proportion as they are the more immoral, and thus contain in themselves all the materials for instruction, or the moral itself, in the epic manner, Ep, ATH. VER. 478. the anti-classical ;] The infra classem included the dregs of the populace, as also the rabble of writers, Book IV. THE OBLIVIAD. 277 True learning humbles, and then makes comply All else, debased to a democracy ; 480 In pamphlet last year which profusely shown, When Candidate and kick’d of Marrow-bone ; Still bent on some vile method to insist, As late at Liverpool, where he was hist. Too modest maid, with Taste averse to wed, 485 He keeps some Spiritual wench instead ; Discards at pleasure, then a new one takes, Nor other rule allows than what he makes ; *Twixt thought and language asks for a divorce, Rejects all grace, of fluent stays the course ; 490 Uncouth, illiterate, constrain’d, brings in, And makes, with untuned bells, a deaf ning din. NOTES. VER. 481. Jn pamphlet last year which profusely shown, And in Advertisement, Speech, and Handbill, He suborned, it is supposed, one Spencer to write him a Note, asking, if, 7% case he should be requested, he would stand Candidate for 2 seat in Parliament. Hepworth, in a very round-a-bout sort of reply, is of opinion that the Constituency is of great importance, the Member of very little; thinks himself a suitable man; is for being paid; descants on purity ; and, to end, begs leave to decline what was never offered. However, that was in harlot fashion; he gave way to persuasion, afterwards, Ver. 482. When candidate and kick'd, &c.] Bad grammar; read rather, candidate of, and kick’d from, Ep. ATH. Ibid. Marrow-bone,| Thus, as pronounced; Mary-le-bone, as written. Am, Ep. Ver. 484. As late at Liverpool, where he was hist.] At the Dickens banquet. I can vouch for it; for I was one of the hissers. IMITATIONS. VER. 492. makes, with untuned bells, a deaf’ning din.] ‘*Tot pariter pelves, tot tintinnabula dicas Pulsari.” JUVENAL. Sat. vi., v. 440. 278 THE OBLIVIAD. Book IV. The undigested mass, conception crude, The stunted sentence, and expression rude, Toss’d with much more, in him that sort of hash, 495 In rhetoric, which styled the balderdash. Finds out some flaw by special pleader’s art, Laborious dull in a neglected part, Who vain to show what groped for in the dark, By hired assistance of a Lawyer’s Clerk, 500 NOTES. VER. 495. that sort of hash, &c.] He has lately taken to writing novels, where all these beauties of style have place, and thrown himself into that last ditch of a desperate and discarded scribbler. Thid. sort of hash,| Variety, which is the spice of life, as also of literature, this critic, shall we now call him, here objects against, as just above he did against our originality, for the reason, we suppose, that our writings are so much the more unlike his own, entirely deficient, as they are, of both the one and the other. Ep. ATH. Ver. 500. By hired assistance of a Lawyer's Clerk,] Dixon employed a certain obscure person, sometimes lawyer’s clerk, to make those researches he boasts of, in the life of Penn; mere mechanical labour. ‘¢ Transcribe the passages,” said Dixon to him, ‘where Penn’s way of walk- ing is described, his clothes, and his shape; his wig, his table, with the con- tents of the kitchen, and of the outhouse.’’ This fellow, being very illite- rate, sometimes spelling Pex ; sometimes, Pex, and sometimes Penze ; he was sent back to correct it, and then made the discovery that Penn always used the apocope, in writing his namc, P, e, double n, Penn.—De plus, Penn did not go to Kippen, as Macaulay states; but Kippen went to Pen: tout le contraire,—These are Dixon’s wonderful corrections; to which Ma- caulay might well forbear a reply, calling to mind what Gibbon said to Davies, ‘‘a victory over such an antagonist was sufficient mortification.” As the Reader has seen, [ am willing to allow Dixon the praise he deserves ; but as to raising his eyes above the dus¢, and his proper devel, Ne sutor ultra crepidam, Ibid. a Lawyer's Clerk,) An obscure person ; our amanuensis, used to take off the pain of writing, and the drudgery of research, F og when one of this description brings home his work, we glance over it, and; alter a few disparaging phrases, and strokes of the pen, bid him call at the desk, Book IV. THE OBLIVIAD. 279 Mid musty records, rubbish, sent to seek, Well paid at 30s. by the week: To print commits what better left unknown, And to long buried trash subjoins his own. But see where, hideous from refuse and weed, 505 Next his own preface Dixon pilloried. Your ink, reviewers, yours, ye bootblacks, bring, Your eggs, ye rabble, at the shameless fling ; With ‘‘ Wives,” with ‘‘ Mormons,” deepen the disgrace, And leave no spot unpelted in his face. 510 The vulgar procuress who vends her doves, Shuts in each secret of polluted loves, NOTES. for payment. Upon which we make it an entirely new thing, and, cutting out passages, transpose, or otherwise wrong write the whole, so completely, that the lawyer’s clerk could not swear to his own brief. Ep. ATH. VER. 505. But see where, hideous from refuse and weed, Next his own preface Dixon pilloried.| A poetical mode of expressing that our portrait was placed as the frontispiece to our book. However, lest any one should understand this passage literally, that we stood in the pillory, it is already disproved beyond contradiction, as that engine was not in use in our days, Ep. ATH. VER, 506. Dixon pilloried.| As many, doubtless, have never seen the obsolete pillory, it may be described as a sort of frame, in which the head and hands of the culprit were locked, in such a manner that he stood exposed to the gaze of the crowd, who, in addition to jests and taunts, were permitted to fling at him filth, rotten eggs, and whatever defiled without doing bodily hurt: A sort of rude Satire, in fact, the privileges of which our Author has used in supposing Dixon pilloried in his own frontispiece, for some shameless act, as it was chiefly to punish such, that this engine was invented; where pelted by the rabble with his own books, and reviewers’ ink, over-and-above the ordinary missiles. Am. Eb, VER. 509. With ‘* Wives,’ with “‘ Mormons,”] Names of filthy books written by Dixon, 280 THE OBLIVIAD, Book IV. Where the lone temple in some silent shade, And drives a gainful but a modest trade ; To common decency knows something due, 515 And what the public and police may do; Along the wall the various Venus paints, . Benighted soul, who sets not there the ‘ Saints,’ No texts adduces, boasts no godly guides, But owns that wicked ev’ry deed she hides: 520 A proper person, that is, for a punk, Who but to drown remorse gets sometimes drunk, The vulgar thus; but, with the march of time, The Gospel shewn to sanctify the crime ; Illauded Hepworth takes you to the door, 525 Where but to pray, and kneel beside your : NOTES. VER. 513. Where the lone temple in some silent shade,] Where such places are situated in the present day, I am constrained to confess I do not know; since my researches on the topic have carried me down no later than the date of PETRONIUS, who was decoyed into a blind alley ; ‘‘ locum secretiorem,” as he calls it, ‘* Tarde, immo jam sero intel- lexi me in fornicem esse deductum.” VER. 525. /élauded Hepworth] Certain of the early Grammarians thought ViRGIL censurable in applying the term ¢//audutus to Busiris, as too feeble for one so detestable. **Quis aut Eurysthea durum, Aut illaudati nescit Busiridis aras?” Geor,, Lib. iii., v. 4. Gellius, however, defends the poet ; maintaining that, as zzcw/patus is appli- cable to the last degree of virtue, so is 2//audatus to the same degree of villany, But, be this as it may, the word is here peculiarly suited to one acting in the capacity hinted at, which, by its nature, excludes all com- mendation ; for whatever may be the pleasure of praise, I do not suppose that any one would like to be told, in public, that he is an excellent pimp. Odk torw oddey réxnov ekwAcarepov Tot mopvoBooKod. J,eonia arte nulla pestilentior pote inveniri. Diruitus. Frag. Com, Grec. Meineke. v. iv. p. 415. Book IV. THE OBLIVIAD. 281 On consecrated cushion naught amiss, And but imprinted the “ seraphic kiss,” Your once wife slighted, now all laws above Save hymeneals of the ‘‘ perfect love,” 530 With ‘spiritual bride,” if joys you steal, ’Tis but to feel before what angels feel. And Man thus seen in his ‘‘ superior phase”! And, Dixon, these the teachings of our days! NOTES. VER. 530. Save hymeneals of the ‘‘ perfect love,””] There are many varieties of these sects, besides such as Revelation is daily disclosing to the Religious; among which may be mentioned, ‘‘ The Full Satisfactionists,” ‘‘The Entire Satisfaction Religionists,” ‘‘The Free Lovists,”’ ‘The Perfect Lovists,’’ and the ‘‘ Celibate Lovists.” VER, 531. With ** spiritual bride” if joys you steal,] These joys are not carnal, but imexplicable; for which the Reader cannot fail to remember that I prepared him, in a learned note, at the very begin- ning of this Work, that he might carry it in his head all along to the end; * quamvis spirituali, et plane inenarrabili, non autem corporali modo ;’ not corporally, but in a spiritual and inexpressible manner. So that, although a couple may be caught, as it were, flagranti delicto, in that is no proof, for the cohabitation may be but spiritual; of which history furnishes us a suffi- cient instance; ‘* Disdaining an ignominious flight, the virgins of the warm climate of Africa encountered the enemy in the closest engagement ; they permitted priests and deacons to share their bed, and gloried amid the flames of their wxsudlied purity.” GIBBON, Hist., cap. XV.—In which if there be not a sufficient defence of Mr. Dixon and ‘his fair pupils,” I de- sire to be informed if it can be found in his researches on Penn, without an é final. VER, 533. And Man thus seen in his *‘ superior phase” [| ‘*Man in his higher phase has hardly come within the grasp of science, and the histories which shall illustrate his spiritual passions have yet to be com- piled. One chapter, (in two volumes,) in one such history, is diffidently offered in the present work.”—Preface to ‘* Spiritual Wives.”—And what follows, dare we ask, this ‘‘higher phaze”? An image, with the ventus textilis drawn tight over it, of debauchery, assuming the appearance, and blasphemously arrogating the sanction and name, of sanctity. Arewe a na- 282 THE OBLIVIAD. Book IV. Was ’t not enough of Newgate sights to tell, 535 But strumpet must succeed the criminal ! NOTES. tion of fools? nothing of the sort; as Dixon well knew, who judiciously judged usa people taking a pleasure in scandal of our neighbours, and not averse to certain prurient descriptions, under cover. Sneak into a friend’s house in the garb of religion; kneel and pray, for in that is nothing wrong, with his wife; arouse in her ‘‘ spiritual passions,” and gratify them car- nally, which was your aim from the first : such is the higher phase, and such the diffidence of this instructive author. ‘Relations of the sexes,” forsooth ; ‘‘ their affinities; ‘union of two souls ;” ‘* purity” and ‘‘ spiritual wedlock,’’ ‘‘ male and female”; ‘‘ young and handsome;” ‘*‘ female loveliness;” the ‘‘relation became so far carnal ;”’ ‘‘found in Sophia Cook, one of his fair disciples, a kinship of soul which he had failed to find in his own wedded wife”’ : all this, and a great deal more, given with that ‘‘ philosophic tolerance”? which becomes the ‘* historian,” I lately chanced to see in a Catalogue a description of the ‘Spiritual Wives,” drawn up by one who evidently knew well what the attractions are of this book, and how to set them off; it ran thus: The Fxunker Hof, the Angels Message, Seraphim Kisses, Hasse Mucker, the Spiritual Wives of the Mormons, the Abodes of Love, Mystic Nuptials, &c., &c. 2 vols. 8vo, portrait of the Author. That potent disizfeetant Carbolic Acid, which, by an awful effluvium, overpowers some other poison, I fear is not stinking enough to deaden the influence of this pestilential heap, and must wait for something in Dixon himself, (for of his abilities I have the highest opinion,) when, as JUNIUS expresses it, *‘ he shall have arrived at that maturity of corruption when the worst examples cease to be contagious.” This is the one art of Dixon: he insinuates, under specious names, the most revolting particulars, as in his late work, the ‘* White Conquest ;’’ in which he ‘‘ examines the interesting problem of the Whites on the American Continent ;”’ an inquiry which leads him into the resorts of the outcasts of society, whom he describes in the midst of their diabolical vices : a book that can only serve to seduce the unsuspecting, or to pander to vile tastes, which yet the fellow commences, in his abstract way, with a dissertation that seems to be “ on a future state,’’ for such is his expression. VER. 535. Newgate sights] For Dixon wrote also ‘London Prisons,” with descriptions, con amore, of the felons he there became acquainted with, and some hanging scenes, Book IV. THE OBLIVIAD. 283 With mangled merit violate the view, Sit judge unjust, but taint our morals too! Hand me the scourge; ha! hear the culprit roar, I'll make that Marsyas himself less sore, 540 NOTES. VER. 538. Sit judge unjust, but taint our morals too! '. Hand me the scourge ;] The Author obviously signifies, that hitherto he had used but the vod, (such as seen depicted on the cover of this volume,) but that now he de- manded the /ash, tu equal the punishment with the offence, or that against © morals, so much a graver one than that against taste simply : “ Adsit Regula, peccatis que poenas irroget zequas : Nec scutica dignum, horribili sectere flagello.” Hor. Sat. Lib. i. S. 3. v. 117. Am. Ep, VER. 540. Marsyas] There is much instruction in this story of Marsyas; who picked up the pipe flung away by Minerva, a deity too wise for things of mere sound, and authoress of the proverb, ‘as much brains as a piper.” However, Marsyas was so much admired on account of the novelty of his performance, that nothing would do but he must challenge Apollo, who, on his defeat, flayed him alive, (as above,) and hung up his hide, as a warning to the presumptuous, who, by bringing in something zove/, please for awhile, until the more natural notes, such as played by Apollo, get the permanent preferencé, Nor is the fable altogether inapplicable to the Gen- tleman I am here complimenting, who has endeavoured to introduce some- thing new, to the subversion of every sound, although old-fashioned prin- ciple, Further: Since in many of the cities of Antiquity, the figures of Apollo and Marsyas were set at the entrance of the places of Justice, all I would IMITATIONS. VER. 539- ha! hear the culprit roar ; PU make that Marsyas himself less sore ;| *¢ Clamanti cutis est summos derepta per artus: Nec quicquam, nisi vulnus, erat. Cruor undique manat,” Ovip. Met. Lib. vi., v. 387. From him, yet yelling, all the hide was cut, Till bled but one wide wound from head to foot. 4 284 THE OBLIVEAD. Book! IV, | Lay livid bare, and next renew the pain, : Till ev’ry cicatrix has bled again. NOTES. ask here, in the end, is, that at the door of every Critick Court; in these Realms, the image of Dixon be set up, with mine, in the attitude $f scourg- ing him, beside it; or, if this be thought too much, that this hook be kept inside, in a conspicuous place. r Ver. 541. Lay livid bare,] Barbarous usage, I hear some oné exclaim ; flay a man alive! Against which I am ready to defend myself on the au- thority of the Ancients; that is to say, on ancient authority, the basis itself of law. Zoilus was pelted, not with his own books, as Hepworth, but with stones, exposed on the cross, or, as some report, burned alive; and he de- served it. ADVERTISEMENT.—Of course, the Reader understands, that no such per- son as Dixon, with his a/ases, herein so often spoken of, ever lived, at least that the Author is aware of; a character in which is such an assem- blage of dishonesty, ignorance, malice, and immorality, with other qualifi- cations, as proves that it is entirely imaginary. On which account, if any person should really now be living, with this name, as it is quite a vulgar one, he is to apply to himself as much of the description as actually suits him, and leave the rest to some one more deserving thereof, if such can be found. When Swift published his Travels, a real Lemuel Gulliver was heard of, who had lost his cause in Court, by reason of his ill-reputation of a liar: and, indeed, let one draw ever so irregular (not to say vicious) a character, some one appears who lives up to the description, and acts what the other wrote, or, even, out of vanity of parts, surpasses it; so that, we are to apprehend, if such a mari as Hep Dix is not amongst us already, he soon will be, and I shall thus be the means of bringing him to light. It has been remarked that the example of suicide is contagious: nor is it improba- ble that, had I reported the fictitious Dix to have hanged himself, that the real one, if on earth, would do the same, But to set aside Hep Dix; Tom, Dick, Sala, Swinburne, Carlyle, Brown- ing, and Buchanan, are creatures so far out of nature, or so fantastic and ridiculous, that the Reader must long ago have found that the Obliviad is but a thing of the fancy; a sort of romance, to catch the public favour ; and that no such persons ever existed, or could have existed. That such a receptacle as Oblivion has a place in the Creation, common discourse suf- Book IV. THE OBLIVIAD. 285 ficiently testifies, and equally so that people fall into it, and, occasionally, are taken out ; but that people of the kind here described, men and women, with such works as they are reported to have written, and of which pre- tended extracts are given; that these, I say, were ever seen to tumble therein, or to be taken therefrom, no one is expected to believe: history, natural, civil, or literary, has no record of such, END OF BOOK THE FOURTH. THE OBLIVIAD. SUPPLEMENT TO Book THE FourTH. BY THE AMERICAN EDITOR. UT, for his much deserving, kick’d from place, Who, justly, deem'd an honour his disgrace, Through Scythian whence, Teutonic scenes, made roam, He finds Manhattan shortest road to home; NOTES. VER. I. hick'd from place,] That is, dismissed from the Athenzeum, of which he was Editor up to the time this Satire was sent to the Printer. Immediately upon which, not only was the entire impression destroyed, and Dickens hastily removed, but the form of the Athenzeum, with paper and letter, were changed; in every way to avoid the blow, and indicate mechanically, as it were, that the concern was begun de zovo, and with a new stock of’ principles; something like the re- novations in other retail places, when a manager of no good repute has been dismissed, and inferior goods, of the shoddy sort perhaps, had otherwise in- jured the business. Am. Ep. VER. 2. Who, justly, deem’d an honour his disgrace,] A difference: one side was of opinion that Hepworth was unworthy of the Athenzeum ; the other, that the Atheneum was unworthy of him, and that he was a gainer by the loss, Am. Eb, VER. 3. Through Scythian whence, Teutonic scenes, made roam,] Mr, Dixon has lately been sojourning in Russia and Germany, and is now 288 THE OBLIVIAD. Supp. Where, under cover of the night, he strays, 5 And gives a public lecture in our praise ; Is feasted, fed, sinister in saloons, And scraps of manners steals, default of spoons. Then backwards sneaks, with privilege of spy, Writes ‘‘ Notes,” like Dickens, and in each a lie; 10 NOTES. actually in our midst ; which point I suppose to be somewhere in the neigh- bourhood of the Tombs; and, nightly, issuing thence, gives his “‘ experience,” in the manner of other penitents, at Camp Meetings, Conventicles, and elsewhere, Am. Eb. VER. Io. “° Notes,” like Dickens,| The title of Dickens’ volume of scandal, ‘‘ American Notes for General Circulation,’’ Am. Eb. Ibid. Mr, Dixon has a twofold purpose, to pick up as many of our yreen- backs as chance to drop in his way, or lie careless in our pockets, and forge ‘Notes” on his return; but this latter part of his business he might do without all this trouble of coming here, as we may see in the following, taken from the PALL MALL GAZETTE: “Mr, HepworTH DIXON AND THE Mormons.—We recorded the other evening a stray piece of news which probably attracted little attention in England, but which if it fell into the hands of a quick American writer, might be made the basis of a very interesting work. As it is very short we may venture to repeat it: —‘ Six hundred and fifty Mormon emigrants sailed from Liverpool on Saturday for the Salt Lake, by way of New-York. A large proportion of the emigrants were women.’ Any American bookmaker who wished to do a clever thing had only to go to Liverpool after reading this paragraph, and there make inquiries about the Mormons. He would probably be referred to Wales, and if he pursued his journey thither, he would soon discover that he had hit upon the large training ground of Mor- mondom. He would find that we rear the followers of Brigham Young, and that America gets the credit of them. A thrilling picture of the frightful state of social life in Great Britain might be drawn from the presence among us of strange sects. Wales is a great deal nearer to the heart of England than Salt Lake or Oneida Creek is to anything which deserves to be called American; and an enterprising traveller, gifted with a iithe and sinewy style, might easily delude a portion of his countrymen into the belief that the Mormon nursery in Wales can be safely taken as an example of the relations which exist between the sexes all over the country, If he did this, Supp. THE OBLIVIAD. 289 Forgets the food that eaten off our plates, And sacred law of household violates ; Burlesques our kindness with malicious glee, And shows what sods republicans can be. Nor, sure, neglects to give the scandal place, 15 Two bulky volumes to the Beecher case ; With Spiritual plan beguiles the view, And writes how Pilgrim pastors wont to woo. At first you’d say there was no hint of sin; So slily Tilton and the ‘‘ Club” brought in; 20 No carnal heat, but ardour of the soul, And mystic meaning to disguise the whole; Till, by degrees, disclosed to ev’ry eye That holy leer is naught but lechery ; And that thin web which o’er the couple cast, 25 No more a veil than Vulcan’s net at last. NOTES. and did it well, he would deserve to be considered a very ‘smart? man, for—to use a common phrase—he would have paid us back in our own coin. We send shiploads of Mormons to America, and then write books to prove that Mormonism is the natural fruit of the loose principles which prevail in America,”? Am. Ep. VER. 18. Pilgrim pastors] Alludes to the Church of the Pilgrims, of which Ward Beecher is Pastor. Am. Ep. VER. 20. Tilton and the “‘ Club”) A club of gentlemen, ‘said Mr, Tilton, with ‘lady waiters,” Am. Ep. VER. 26, Vulcan’s net] This relates to the adultery of Mars and Venus; which, it appears, being suspected by the husband Vulcan, he secretly surrounded the couch with a net, and feigned a visit to some friends, at a distance. The guilty pair, therefore, thinking all secure, no sooner lay down than they were entrapped, and remained unconscious of their position, until daylight, when Apollo told Vulcan; who made a great noise among the gods, and demanded redress. The gods, at first, were only in- clined to laugh at him, and enjoyed the spectacle mightily, with the jokes of Mercury; until Neptune, an elderly peisonage, calling him aside, re- 13 290 THE OBLIVIAD. Supp. quested him to cut the net, and that he would go security for the damages, These, I fear, were never paid ; however, my business here at present is, to draw attention simply to the net, which was of a Coam, or cobweb texture, (words having the root in co.) ’nii7’ &pdyvia Aewrd, and, instead of concealing anything, which was never intended, served only to expose everything. Copies of the Paper containing the account, in full, of this famous in- trigue, printed in the language of the gods, may be had at almost any stall you come to, except one of Smith’s. Throughout all the writings of the Ancients, one character is still present, that of a moral concealed in a fable; the whole is apologue. In this view, examining the story before us, we cannot admit the censures cast upon it by Scaliger, and others, as if there were any thing in it which should have been kept from the public eye. This motive, indeed, might have been alleged in the instance of other nations, but not as against us, who have a /ree press, and are accustomed to crim, con, trials, with verbatim reports of them, couch and keyhole. Independent of which, if there be any evil in the mat- ter, we must take care that, in removing it, we run no risk of causing a greater, and even of endangering the lives of no inconsiderable body of the Public; I mean, especially, those who live on scandal, and those who make a living by inventing, reporting, printing, publishing, selling, and hawking it. But the great consideration is the moval, as Mr. Dixon teaches us. The fable turns, as we have seen, on adultery, a common accident in all coun- tries, Vulcan typifies the clumsy industrious man of business, manufacturer, or Member of Parliament ; Mars the loitering shapely soldier, pleasing to the ladies, and, except slaying, whose sole occupation is gallantry; and Venus, the beautiful wife, redolent of Paphos, who is visited by Mars, in the absence of her husband. The invisible web signifies the spies, or detec- tives; and Apollo the clear daylight thrown upon the whole action, seen by Vulcan with his own eyes; As to the outcry he raised, and the complaints made, in them the fable runs into the actual, as in the jokes at his expense, and the general laughter. Mercury, the god of thieves, liars, and pick- pockets, is also god of reporters. Neptune may be considered to represent an Elder of the Church, who, for decency’s sake, desires to throw cold water upon the matter; engaging that he would * make all right,’’ or, go security for the damages : for the Ancients understood this part of law better than we do; so much for a homicide, so much for maiming, in one part, so much fur maiming in another, so much for seduction, which last is all now re- maining in use; and even this not affording an indemnification exactly adequate, from the peculiar nature of the injury, which is that of the cuckoo, who takes nothing, but only lays in another’s nest. Am. Ep. a's The following Verses were in the original draught of the Poem, and came in after line 316, Book I. : Or hurries headlong on, &c. But thinking them out of place for Satire, and likely to make the Book too long, (a serious fault !) I have thrown them in here, as so much history, for the sake of illus- tration ; that I might make my Verses supply the place of Prose: a thing requiring no toil whatever, as the Criticks will say, for the jest ts an old one. At least I remember Something of the kind, where Mr. Bayes explains his rules: “Why, Sir, my first rule is the rule of transver- sion, or regula duplex; changing verse into prose, or prose into verse, alternative, as you please.” For which see the REHEARSAL. The Criticks themselves, it must be allowed them, are no mean hands at this work of transversion; one of whom boasted that he could do the like with both Horace and Milton; for, said he, ‘¢Turn what they will to Verse, their toil is vain, Criticks like me shall make it Prose again.” ‘ THE OBLIVIAD. APPENDIX. 3 WAS now when Rome approach’d her last decay, And wit with wisdom sank, as worth with sway, Pass’d all the glories of Augustan days, When sense was ornament, and nature praise ; NOTES. VER. 2. wit with wisdom sank, as worth with sway,] *‘In the most polite and powerful nations, genius of every kind has dis- played itself about the same period ; and the age of science has generally been the age of military virtue and success.” GrzgBon, Decline and Fall, chap. x., s. 3. VER. 3. Augustan days,| Whence, shall it once more be asked, is derived that energy and grace of mind discernible in certain epochs in the history of so many nations of the earth? Or, must the opinion of Martial be taken, that the cause is more in patronage than genius; a plant indige- nous in our fields, but which pines in the shade, unless nurtured and pro- tected by some one in power : «*Sint Meecenates, non dérunt, Flacce, Marones.” Provide me the protector, and I will provide you the poet. Very true; but as the dispenser of favours must have the ability to distinguish among those deserving of them, we are still thrown back for the cause, for what is it that has enlightened the Prince himself, or led him to hearken to that 294 THE OBLIVIAD. App. Pass’d too the point, antithesis, conceit, 5 In which once novelty could pleasure meet : NOTES. man of his Court capable of informing him, or who has the honesty to in- form him, if that one man there be? From difficulty to difficulty ; no won- der that one might number on his fingers the real poets of the earth; there is not a dozen of them, However, such is the course of encouragement: A Mecenas hears of a Virgil; he is sent for; and his merits proclaimed in the praises which he received, and the rewards bestowed; giving at once the example and incen- tive to others; until all become emulous in the path to excellence. ‘¢ Tunc par ingenio pretium: tunc utile multis Pallere, et vinum toto nescire Decembri.” Other circumstances concur; such as a period in the progress of a great war, which naturally animates the mind, or in prosperity at the close of it, and a nation newly risen into politeness. If this opinion be true, what hope of just taste, and a judicious direction to the mind, in an age when bookmaking has become a trade, and the whole object of the bookseller, who is now the patron, and of the bookmaker he employs, is to serve the largest body of customers, and degrade all to the making of money: than which nothing is more foreign to the nature of true ambition. Vulgar taste runs devious; and, still desiring something new, the object of such a workman is to vary the folly, and consequently avoid estab- lished standards ; things which, besides, are with difficulty reached, a serious obstacle to one who writes for his daily living. When lately, in England, the Lodger Franchise was granted, the Legislator at once urged to ‘‘ educate our masters,” for such the crowd had become: but not in Government only, I venture to add; in a little while they will set the law in Literature also, and the patron Publisher will caress those only who can pander to the taste of him who has acquired reading enough to go through a ‘‘ sensation novel,’ or, better, the ‘*-Police Gazette.” VER. 5. Pass'd too the point, antithesis, conceit,] Refers to the frivolous thoughts, and glitter of ornament introduced by Seneca, who made every effort to discredit the best authors, even Virgil and Cicero, says Gellius; well knowing that, as long as these continued to be admired, he could not possibly be: a motive just the same as that of some writers (far inferior to Seneca) in our own days, who affect contempt for our Augustan authors, and decry Pope himself,—See Quintilian, Lib, «., cap, 1; and Aulus Gellius, Lib. xii., cap. 2. App. ‘THE OBLIVIAD. 295 E’en these too toilsome, last the mind was brought To mere inanity and want of thought ; NOTES. Ibid. antithesis,] A weed which sprang up among the finest flow- ers, as in the days of Sophocles and Euripides, when Agathon, writer of Tragedies, was entirely overrun with it. A friend desiring him to correct this vice in his pieces; that, said he, would be to lose Agathon in himself: so much of his merit was mixed with this figure; which also makes the chief blemish, as sometimes the chief beauty, of Pope, a writer deserving praise almost as often as mention, AAA ob ye, yervaie, ACANOas ceavTdy, Toy "Ayddwva ex ToD *Ayabwyos appari (wy, AELIAN, Var. Hist., Lib, xiv., Cap. 13. VER. 6. novelty] Other enemies to taste may be met by argument, with some hope of success; but when Fashion opposes, the matter is des- perate: a power divine of right, that no man asks the origin of, and at the name of which all men tremble. When your bootmaker, or bookseller, (or those who severally take measure of head and foot,) tells you this is now the fashion, you are at liberty, like a true Protestant, to dissent ; but to call in question the Goddess herself, that is not heresy, but atheism, and the ostra- cism was not so despotic as the scorn which banishes you. The backwoods or Siberia be your retreat. In vain shall you compel her fo shift, either as regards place or attire; her nature is to change, on which rests her autho- rity; a part of the great law of the Universe, in all the kingdoms of which we discern a perpetual vicissitude, and new fashions every day put on; or, for the matter of that, every hour, as in colours of the sky, or in morning, midday, and evening dresses, The chameleon changes every minute. Bacon never revealed to us a wiser thing than when he taught that Proteus was but Nature, which is identical with Fashion, or that which, coerced in one shape, presently appears in another: a Deity worshipped by sacrifice of cast- off clothes and opinions, laureate verses, and ‘‘ novels of the week ;” grateful to her groans of bankrupt husbands, execrations of publishers late in the market, and sighs of all who are forced to appear in a suit of last month's make. Whence, to say that anything is the mode, but extending its influ- ence, all we can ask is to keep true to principle; and, for example, as noth- ing, of things artificial, so often varies as the female form, (except female fancy,) with the petticoat, and what covers it, I would have this part of the dress, when the day is short, shorter, and when the day is long, longer, that things may be all of a piece, and the train be drawn without draggling when 296 THE OBLIVIAD. App. Instruction stops, on vice no precepts press, Till all is luxury and idleness. 10 Romance now sprung, and Chariclea came New arts to teach, and raise the am’rous flame ; With ills imagined, bliss, attract the eye, And violate of truth the dignity ; . NOTES. Nature provides clean streets. The Peacock himself, the favourite of My Lady as well as of Juno, does not keep his tail at the same length all the year round, and sometimes drops the fashion altogether, although as old as Troy, when the ladies swept the ¢rottorre with Honiton lace; TpwdSas éAxeourérAovs, Troadas longa-peplorum-syrmata-trahentes; an epithet as long as the train itself, and lately brought again into fashion, since My Lord Derby gave the phrases of Homer at full length. Wherefore, returning to authors, I would not have them, against all rule, continue that same un- changing livery, even though it be of the Muses, out at elbows, and that tusty colour known, among tailors, as ‘* London smoke; ” but even go from bad to worse, rather than be the same blockhead, in the same coat, thread- bare, like the subjects you write on. And, in point of fact, it is the Author that fails, and not the Reader, who alone is still true to the mode. Any thing out? he inquires, and is handed a book yet damp from the press, with which he is completely satis- fied. At the end of the Season, he returns, when, with the face of Nature, has changed also that system of things in which, agreeable to the opinion of the undiscerning, Nature has no part; asks the same question as before; gets the same answer; buys, and offers, in part payment, that which he last bought; which the shopman accepts, at « penny the pound, price of waste paper: whereupon, nothing doubting, he withdraws, not so much to read the volume, as to talk of it, and be in the fashion. VER. 11. Romance now sprung,| In these few lines the Author has en- deavoured to compress the whole history of the Decline of Taste; an exotic, in the centre of a mighty Empire, where it flourished scarce during the life of one man. The transition from simplicity to point ; thence to vapid de- clamation ; and last to romance: the picture is instructive ; if, as Editor, I may be allowed to express my opinion of it. Am. Ep. Ibid. Chariclea] The famous, shall I say, infamous, ‘‘love stories” of that name, which became the model to all future novelists, even, without knowing it, to our own, and by which, as Nicephorus relates, many young persous were drawn into the danger of sin, App. THE OBLIVIAD. 297 While trivial incidents throughout prevail, 15 Adventure fills, and folly ends the tale. Through ages thence these vices taught to live, Licentious scene, and tedious narrative, Till, lost in ignorance, next meet the eye The fiction and the farce of chivalry. 20 Allured, Nennius, now the Gestes began Of knights of Arthur and of Charlemagne ; Whence Minstrels taught adventures wild to spin, Sir Tristan, Launcelot, or Palmerin: Fantastic age, than which none less could miss 25 That nonsense which it sought, but only this ; At Court a changeling found to cramp the rhymes, And once more Merlin brought to fool the times. Nor art, instruction, might the Reader see, Plan, purpose, character, catastrophe ; 30 NOTES. Ver. 17. Through ages, &c.] Nothing less than a period of near fifteen hundred years; on so fixed a basis rests the empire of false learning in op- position to that of the true, which subsisted, without interruption, scarce a fifteenth part of this period, We read of the advent of Sin into the world ; very much like to which is that of Error, when man deviated from Sim- plicity, and still has a leaning to the impure, as well in taste as in morals. VER. 20. The fiction and the farce of chivairy.] A form of manners so fantastic as that of Chivalry could never have had a place in Nature, as Sismundi justly remarks, but must have risen mainly from the fancy, and been suggested to an ignorant people by the writers of Romance. Ver. 21. Allured, Nennius,] Mixed historians and novelists of the be- nighted ages, since imitated by some eminent authors. Originals of Geoffrey of Monmouth, They wrote in the ninth century, which is the darkest of all. VER. 28. Once more Merlin] If Mathias could say of Giffard, that ‘the had taken some pleasant trouble off his hands,” in satirizing a certain class of scribblers then fashionable; so may I of Hall, who, in turning to 13* 298 THE OBLIVIAD. App. But strange proportion ’twixt effect and cause, And nature lost amid inverted laws ; When idle rhapsodies for child or fool Show’d that most regular which wanted rule: True Gothic models ready shaped at home, 35 And saved all tedious search through Greece or Rome. A reading public (mark the phrase !) unknown, The Monks and Minstrels kept the trash their own ; When yielding shelves piled up from base to top, The cloister seem’d a circulating shop. 49 The Monk kept close by his religious vow, The Minstrel mouth’d his tale, as we do now; An ancient practice made again appear, That those who cannot read, at least may hear. But modern art another aid can find,. 45 And Dickens the great light to all the blind. NOTES. ridicule the Arthur and Merlin writers of his day, has, by anticipation, cast his wit against those of the new school living in our own: *¢ Some braver brain in high heroic rhymes Compileth worm-eat stories of old times: And he like some imperious Maronist, Conjures the muses that they him assist. Then strives he to bombast his feeble lines With far-fetch’d phrase ;— And maketh up his hard-betaken tale With strange enchantments, fetch’d from darksome vale, OF some Melissa, that by magic doom To Tuscan’s soil transporteth Merlin’s tomb.” But what Nash said, in prose, of STANIHURST, on his lately introduced ver- sification, is altogether as applicable to what is now passing before us: *¢ Whose heroical pootry,” he writes, ‘‘infired, I should say inspired, with hexameter furye, recalled to life whatever hissed barbarisme hath been buried this hundred yeare.” Preface to Greene’s Arcadia, VER. 46. And Dickens the great light to all the blind.] Dickens, on leaving America, conscious that he had fooled the Yankees, and App. THE OBLIVIAD. 299 At length, aslant, above the dreary waste, Scarce sent through air the struggling beams of taste, Till classic lustre in Eliza’s days Burst forth once more, though with a mingled blaze; 50 For Sidney still could make such scenes his care As left ére long to triflers and the fair. In Anna's age her wealth see Thought dispense, And then the dignity of common sense ; Oblivion shut, for then each desp’rate fool 55 By Satire saved to endless ridicule ; NOTES. thrown dust in their eyes, thought to make them a little amends by present- ing them with passages of his Readings, set in embossed letters, for the Blind. VER. 49. classic lustre in Elisa’s days] Even the ladies of the Court were then, like the Queen, students of the Axcients, and what is the pedantry of this age, was the fashion of that. VER. 51. For Sidney still could make such scenes his care As left eve long to triflers and the fair.) Sidney, I fancy, was the last of those chivalrous heroes who formed their characters immediately upon Romance. He was unwilling, however, that the Arcadia should survive him, and, on his death bed, gave orders to de- stroy it. Disobeyed in this, it was ten times reprinted, and then, with the usual fate of such, forgotten, It should be called to mind that Sidney wrote but the first books of this piece, of which the latter part is by his sister, the Countess of Pembroke: to whom, let me add, with those of her sex and rank, it were to be wished that the composing and reading of ro- mances might be consigned, until some other species of pastime be intro- duced, to take the place of the obsolete embroidery and knotting. VER. 54. then the dignity of common sense ;| Then was recte sapere the rule; and since, among the fluctuations of opinion, common sense is the surest at last to sway among the affairs of men, so is it the most likely to fix the standard of taste, and make us more resemble the Ancients, who, among all their excellences, are chiefly distinguished by this. VER. 55. Oblivion shut, for then each desp rate fool By Satire saved to endless ridicule ;| As had previously been done in the instance of Flecknoe, ‘‘ who,” says 300 THE OBLIVIAD. App. No novels seen but those which strumpets writ, A worthy way for such to show their wit. Short period; soon the pleasing poison found, But in the moral first the tale was sound. 60 Insipid virtue! wit next stoops to dress, And prostitute the page to wantonness. A bandit horde, a damsel free from fault, Alone, and in much peril of assault ; Such in suspense next held the public fool ; 65 Pass, change, Scott hurries with the Border school. NOTES. Langbaine, ‘‘has published sundry Works, (as he styles them,) to continue his name to Posterity; tho’ possibly an Enemy has done that for him, which his own Endeavours would never have perfected: For whatever becomes of his own Pieces, his name will continue whilst Mr. Dryden’s Satyr called Mack Flecknoe, shall remain in vogue.” VER. 57. No novels seen but those which strumpets writ,] Among whom I may mention Eliza Haywood, Aphra Behn, and Mrs. Manley. Haywood ‘‘ was authoress of those most scandalous books called the Court of Carimania, and the New Utopia.’? She is mentioned in the Notes to the Dunciad, of which she is the Eliza, as one of ‘‘ those shameless scribblers (for the most part of that sex, which ought least to be capable of such malice or impudence) who, in libellous Memoirs and Novels, reveal the faults and misfortunes of both sexes, to the ruin of public fame, or dis- turbance of private happiness.” For Mrs. Behn, she was a lady of ‘‘ such decided talent,” that Charles II., an excellent judge, thought her a fitting envoy zear the Dutch Court ; where she is said to have engaged in zztrigwes, for the benefit of her country, Returning to England, she wrote plays, poems, and three volume novels, distinguished chiefly for their gross licen- tiousness: In which, however, she was not without a rival in Mrs, Manley, author of the famous Atalantis ; a woman known to all the wits of the age, and to Alderman Barber, whose mistress she is said to have been. Ver. 60, But in the moral first the tale was sound.| That of Richardson, as Pamela, which was ridiculed, in his Joseph Andrews, by Fielding; an author followed, in turn, by Mrs. Radcliffe, who made mystery and szs,'ense the chief secret of her success, App. THE OBLIVIAD. 301 Ingenuous, who knew how slight his claim, And, wanting learning, sigh’d for solid fame. O, how unlike, &c. ’ NOTES. VER. 67. Ingenuous, who knew how slight his claim, And, wanting learning, sigh’d for solid fame.] I would give, said Scott, half the reputation I have acquired, to obtain for the rest a classical foundation ; meaning, a lasting one. END OF APPENDIX. THE OBLIVIAD. INDEX. INDEX: WHICH INCLUDES, WITH THE NAMES, THE PRINCIPAL MAT- TERS AND FACTS, IN THE WorK, NOTE AS WELL AS TEXT. The Roman numeral refers to the Book, the Arabic to the Verse. Supp. Supplement. App. Appendix. A. . CID and alkaly, in what case combine them, B. ii., v. 240. Adder, spiteful, that, in Scripture, known as the deaf, and, commonly, as the Barnard, B. ii., v. 109. Adultery, Mars and Venus caughé in the act of, Supp.‘to B. iv., v. 26, Age, the present, what the reguirements of, B. ii., v. 285. So dif- ferent from that of Voltaire, when Writing was the lowest of trades, Publishers were illiterate, and Falsehood was invented at so much a page, B. ii., v. 405. Alloy of Bowie-knife, Bret, and Brain, B. i., v. 168. Ambiguity of the Author of this Work so glaring, that it is very clear what he means, B. iii., v. 396. Amorous haste, what comes next after it, B. iii., v. 309. Ancients, inventors of the cothurnus, risen above by the Moderns, inventors of the s¢z/fs, B. iii., v. 241. Anno domintz, the surprising effects of, B. lii., v. 145. Annual Conference in the College of Ignorance, with the Proceed- ings, and Speech of Hepworth Dixon, Esq., B. ii., v. 95. Annual dinner, given to thieves, authors, and beggars, B. ii., v. 422. Ars Rhetorica. Eloguence tousseuse, with the em, and flourishes of handkerchief. TZussis pro crepitu,Gc. B. ii., v. 132. 306 INDEX. Art of Sinking in Poetry, origin of, B. i., v. 10. Ass, credit given him for proficiency in Arts, despite his natural disqualifications, B. ii., v. 303. Atheneum, changes made in the form, and appearance of, Supp. to B. iv., v. 1. Door, turn off from it; on which a long note, B. ii., v. 420. Editor of, never replies to Letters covering Compliments, treating such with silent contempt, B.i., v. 1. Attentions which Hepworth was daily in receipt of, B. ii., v. 137. Augustan Authors, in Modern, as in Ancient days, mentioned with an affected contempt, and with the same motives, App., v. 5. Author of this Poem, romantic disposition of, B. iv., v. 263. A little disconcerted, B. iii., v. 434. Desirous of explaining that he is, and intends to be, serious, throughout, B.i., v. 338. Desire on the part of, to hide Reviewers from shame, B. ii., v. 399. Advises those who had been doing dirty work of the pen, to turn to the shovel, Ib. v. 405. Gives, gratis, some humane advice, Ib. v. 404. ‘Has still kept within the limits of decorum, B. iv., v. 440. Likely to be very popular, if he turns Noyelist, B. iv., v. 108. Means by which he salts his Book, B. i., v. 15. Authors, 4 boat-load of, slipped, like herrings, again into the water, before a particular description could be given of them : whence, the shortness of this Poem, B. iii., v. 406. Every. stage of habitation, from the cellar to the garret, filled with them, B.i., v. 189. How they rise, and how they fall, B. i., v. 3. How they run in a waste of words, and void a tale, B. i., v. 248. B. AINES, Medayévyros, B. i., v. 219. BANCROFT, rapture of, when his Poems, at an auction, were knocked down, at a higher price than his History, B. iv., Vv. 225. BARNARD, deaf, placed beside her Heaviness, who is blind, the one being the complement of the other, B. ii., v. 103. Made to hear, by means of poison poured into his meatus, Ib., v. 108. INDEX. . 207 BEECHER, Mrs. Harriet Elizabeth Beecher Stowe, guilty of a breach of confidence, in telling all her friend had told her, B. iv., v. 285. BERKLEY, proposal to curtail him of half-a-dozen of his names, B.i., v. 179. How he thrashed Fraser, of the Magazine, and shot Magin, Ibid. Black and White, the resemblance between, B. iii., v. 306. Blank Circular, which you are to fill up, with name, accidents of _ birth, &c., B.i., v. to. Blind, literature intended for, App., v. 46. Blockhead, as dig a one as any other that ever censured poet, B. iv., V. 239. Block, you have but to cut off what hides the dunce in it, B. ii., Vv. 274. : Blundering, and the consequences of it, shown in the Verses of Tennyson, B. iii., v. 177. Beeotians first, and Boeotians last, contrary to Homer, B. iii., v. 60. . 3oston, that in which she delights, B. iv., v. 415. RADDON, Miss, examples of her style, in dress and writing, B. iv., v. 76. . Brain, defecation of, by means of Writing, B. i., v. 231. Breeches, singular use which Carlyle made of his, B. iv., v. 169. Breed, how stop that of Muloch, Mayhew, Taylor, Reid, Wood, and the Howitts, B. i., v. 93. BRENTANO, by merit of “‘ one grain of Thought,” the most distin- guished Poet, as the first Bookseller, of the Period, B. iv., v. 355- BROWNING, where nursed, by whom taught, and by whom exhi- bited, B. iii., v. 261. His own showman, Ib., v. 274. BUCHANAN, fair specimens of his style of goods, B. iii., v. 196. BUCHANAN, Reade, like dogs, etc., B. i., v. 137. BULL, Mr. John, determines, seriously, to act Jack Pudding, B. iii., Vv. 219. BULWER, a gran virtuoso ; indefatigable search for his Works ; in all 999, being one short of the number to complete a Library, B.i., v.61. The ‘‘ barren rascal,” an epithet not meriting, B. iii., v. 70. Runs all off to nothing, Ib., v. 89. Pun, afflu- . ent of, Ib., 92. His learning shows how much he wants, Ib., 94. Great Arthur, rises or falls with him, Ib.,v.109. Author 308 INDEX. gives him a little of his mind, Ib. Is apprehensive lest he should be deemed partial in his case, Ib., v. 123. BUTLER, defended against an insulting accusation, B. iii., v. 398. c. ; ACATA charta: Atheneums, B. i., v. 155. CALCRAFT, the Executioner, Selections from his Writings, B. iv., v. 70. Dunned, like any other Author, Ib. Calculation, how much wealth there is in England, and how many fools, B. ii., v. 199. Candidate and kicked of Marrow-bone, B. iv., v. 482. CARLYLE, a famished innovator, B. iv., v. 146. Eorum more qui non proficere, sed conspici, cupiunt, Ib. ‘‘ What we calt originality, signifies ¢kat,” Ib. Also, “‘ the heroic quality we have no good name for, signifies ¢hat,” Ib., v. 154. ‘* Cannot express himself, or get himself expressed,” Ib. Cause, the real one, B. iv., v. 283. Certain persons, distinguished by stars, thus, * * *, addressed personally, B. ii., v. 413. Chaos ; signifies a yaw, in which, according to the Epicureans, all things must terminate, B. i., v. 113. Chignon, how adjust it to the fashion, B. ii., v. 174. ~ CHERILUS, a writer with Six good verses in his Poem ; an unusual proportion, and for which he received proportional rewards, B. iii., v. 124. . Cloaca Maxima, with its tributary Sinks, and what they contain, B. i., v. 154. CLOSE, the Poet, placed conspicuously, B. ii., v. 111. Common Sink, what ducked in, B. i., v. 143. Cracked Critick; dispute as to the meaning of this expression, B. ii., V. 147. Crim. Con. case, with verbatim report of, B. iii., v. 286. Crew of Criticks, by whom kicked to their kennels, B. i., v. 52. Critick, in the Athenzeum, deficiencies required to complete one, B. ii., v. 112. To set up in the business of, what it costs, B. ii, v. 229. Critick’s skull, a vacuum coacervatum, B. i., v. 38. - Criticism on a Book you never saw, method of, B. ii., v. 311. INDEX. 309 CrutTcH, Miss Emma, more romantically, Cora, the prostitute a-la-mode, B. iii., v. 17. D. AY and Martin’s blacking, or that which is bright only on the surface of it, B. iii., v. 174. Days, when sense and nature had a place in the World, App., v.3 Dead! dead!! dead!!! sentence passed on a Poet, B. iii., v. 203. Dead level, the natural tendency of things, B. iv., v. 228. Dead Writers, with their dead Works, the Receptacle for, B. i., v. 125. Deep, no traces of vitality in, B. iii., v. 6. DICKENS, specimen of his style, in both sorts, the fie and the JSamiliar, B. iv., v. 15. DIXON, appointed Misguider General, by the Goddess, B. ii., v. 334. His grand Arcanum, by which he engages to teach the whole Science of Criticism, in a week, B. ii., v. 299. Indig- nation of, against one who brought money, B. ii., v. 344. Of a Puritan stock ; at what time his Spiritual Prostitutes came on town ; a fe//ow that of no college, B.+i., v. 51. Doré and Tennyson, altercation between, B. iii., v. 144. Dozen Bells, with the changes on them, and sounds correspondent in Criticism, B. ii., v. 310. Drinking for a wager, B. ii., v. 291. Dull, a word much like a pig of lead, being short and heavy, B. iii., v. 434. Ep. ATH. asks again of the Author what he means by ‘‘a maid,” and ‘ once a maid,” B. iv., v. 103. Constrained to admit that a man may lend himself to base purposes, B. iv., v. 5. E, “NCYCLOPDIA Factory, the Manager of, and one of his best hands, with excusable motive of vanity, B. ii., v. 92. Epicene gender, in Things, as well as in Words, B. iv., v. 328. Epidemicks which have raged on Earth, recounted, B. i., v. 272. 330 INDEX. Error, how it runs devious, and blunders back, B. ii.,v.157. Too late to correct one, in the age of Mesdemoiselles Sewell and Manning, B. iv., v. 104. : Eternity assured to a great number of Writers; I promise them, said the Author, B. iii., v. 408. Executioner, perquisites of, B. iv., v. 464. Expense, means by which it may be saved in compiling large Works, B. ii., v. 295. i Eyes, shut one of them, and wink with the other, a feat beyond the ability of Ed. Ath., B. iv., v. 167. F. ACES displayed by Miller and Massey, one each, B. ii., v. 112. Factory Act, a similar one for the shoddy weavers, B. ii., v. 423. Fashion, supreme Goddess of the Globe, delighting in change, and despotic of authority, App., v. 6. The offerings most accepta- ble to her, Ib. Faults, of no avail to a Writer, unless they gain him distinction, B. ii., v. 268. * Feature,’ ‘Conventional,’ ‘ Suggestive,’ the vast variety of un- meaning contained in them, B. ii., v. 305. Fingers, priority of invention due to them, B. iii., v. 199. Five thousand a year, how much we get for it, B. iv., v. 335. Flogging, the business of, doubled on the Satyrist, since neglected in schools, B. iv., 162. Foetum caput, evacuation of, B. i., v. 132. Fools, the Limbo of, placed on the éackside of the World, B. i., v. 102. Frame, with engraving of, by aid of which, mechanically, any one can contrive Articles to furnish the whole Encyclopedia, B. ii., v. 295. G. EMS from the Atheneum, B. iv., v. 446. Goose, European, carving of, in the manner of Strabo, B. iii., v. 314. INDEX. 311 Goth and Vandal, they are upon us, B. i., v. 338. Gran Virtuoso; who was attacked with a flux enragé every month, B.i., v. 248. Greek, or Latin, after midnight, proof that one is drunk, B. iii., v. 145. Greek, should be just opposite the English, in Book of Quotations, B. ii., v. 180. Greek-fire, dangerous to be in the neighbourhood of, B. ii., v. 106. Grub-Street, staircases therein tuneful, B. i., v.6. Who and what __ were seen aude there, B. ili., v. 254. Gulls, the arts by which they are allured, B. iii., v. 42. H. ACK Authors, classed into those who drink, and those who are drunkards, B. ii., v. 388. HANGMEN, history of, from Gregory the Great, to our own days, B. iv., v. 70. HARLOT, to be kept in close concealment, and by what means, B. ii., v. 214. Head, the human, shown not to be round, but flat, B. iv., v. 203. The weight of, cause of all the dulness, perversity, and error, in human creatures, B. iii., v. 208. HEPWORTH D1xon, whether his writings do, or do not, exercise an injurious influence, B. iv., v. 469. Acknowledges that what is said in the Obliviad, is true, B. ii., v. 114. A follower of Aristotle, and in what respect, B. ii., v. 152. Matched with his Suttiness ; the one archangel ruined, the other, archcritick, B. ii., v. 133. Mounts the Rostrum; the rogue mixed with fool in his face; begins his Speech, through the nose, B, ii., v. 128. Her Mightiness, method of sustaining her, B. ii., v. 139. His Lordship, the Case, first, not having been heard, passes sen- tence, and orders punishment accordingly, B. ii., v. 342. His Reverence, with Roxy by his side, B. iii., v. 388. Historical Novel, the originals of, App., v. 21. Holy-Well, the Nymphs of, B. ii., v. 97. HowIlt1ts, Father, Mother, Daughter, an entire progeny to the Press, B. i., v. 94. 312 INDEX. I. AKES, how supplied with paper, B. i., v. 176, J Idleness, means by which it may be made complete, accord- ing to Bishop Butler, B. ii., v. 75. Ignorance, the College of; a Gothic building, without model in Nature, B. ii., v. 47. The Goddess of; blots out ali know- ledge, B. ii., v. 53; proves what is, is not; and confirms it with an oath, Ib. Illauded, a word selected to suit the occasion, B. iv., v. 525. Immoral, so called, in writing, ee and defended by Ed. Ath., B. iv., v. 452. Tndecency, praperly exposed, the great value of, B. iii., v. 254. Index Rerum of a Sunday Newspaper, B. iii., v. 26. Influenza and the Scribbling, analogy HeLwceny B. i, v. 273. Four maigre, in Grub-street, and maigre as applied to an author, B. iii., v. 22. Itch of Writing, fire and brimstone recommended in the cure of it, B. iii., v. 124. Jury give damages for ruin to one’s character, valued at 6d., B. ii., 228. K. . ETCH, Jack, fine accomplishments of, B. iv., v. 464. L. IOO reward to any one who can pick the lock on Tennyson’s meaning, B. iii., v. 175. Ladies, disappointed of an attempt on their chastity, B. iii., v. 255. Laid next upon the bank, Ed. Ath. sees what this means, B. iv., v. 263. Laugh, the loudest, confutes in Argument, B. iv., v. 299. Laus Veneris, as a whole, neither profane, nor indecent, B. iii., Vv. 255. Legs, Mr. Swinburne’s, confined by the deards, according to Ed. Ath., who yet declares the stocks obsolete, B. iii., 235. INDEX: 313 Lent, when kept in December, and abstinence observed for the sake of one’s genius, App., v. 3. Library in the College of Ignorance, consisting of Romances, of which a Catalogue is given, B. ii., v. 69. Lotos Club, at supper; brought wf in a basket, like their own oysters, B. iv., v. 342. Ludgate, left unlocked by night and day, B. ii., v. 136. LULLus, RAYMUNDUS, philosopher of Laputa, his Great Art, B. ii, v. 295. LYTTON all thy Works, and Proctor thine, B. i., v. 142. M. ACKAY, poet, with but the Mime against him, B. i., v. I4I. Male Bawd, the difference between that and the other one, B. ii., Vv. 204. MARSYAS, in what he resembles the hero of this Poem, B. iv., v. 540. Mart., the dad of his poetry fills the volume, B. iii., v. 399. MAYHEW, HENrRy, a short time a Scholar, and a long time an Author, B. i., v. 93. Men of the Time, how to become one of them, B. i., v. Io. MERCURY, the god of Thieves, Liars, Pickpockets, and Reporters, Supp. to B. iv., v. 26. MILTON, told to go and read his Bible, by Ed. Ath., B. i., v. 10. Mind, the waste of, whereto hastening, B. i., v. 123. Miss DINAH, in the pains of labour, B. ii., v. 33. Mistake committed by a Reviewer, whereby he blamed what he meant to praise, and praised what he meant to blame, B. ii., Vv. 313. Modest proposal, to flay Reviewers, and make parchment of their hides, B. i., v. 222. Morning use, what papers are applied to it, B. iii., v. 12. Morris, BESALEEL, foretold, in the age of Queen Anne, as he who was to adorn that of Victoria, B. ii., v. 81. Mortals, the race of, B. ii., v. 1. Moses and Hepworth, in what resembling, B. ii., v. 388. Moxon, from what cause forced to stop the sale, B. il., v. 212. MULOCH, Miss DINAH MARIA, a gran virtuosa, B. i., v. 93. 14 314 INDEX, Mute, method of strangling by means of one, B. ii., v. 258. Muses, the livery of, by what art give novelty to, App., v.6. Of Grub-Street, invocation of, B. iii., v. 47. N. OISE, the great power of, as evinced in Greenland, where it is bottled in Winter, and comes out loud with the cork, B. iii., v. 420. 4Von-intercourse, explicable, on theory of Spiritual wives, B. iii., Vv. 314. Nonsense, discovered an innate quality, B. iii, v. 172. How it repeats itself, as shown in verses Ancient and Modern, B. iii., v. 236. Superior to Reason, as that which compasses all things, B. ii., v. 162. Nook apart, on the Western side, B. iii., v. 321. Nose, shown to be the critical part, B ii., v. 152. Novelist, that creature classed by the Naturalists among the Ephemera; known also as the Hemerobion, B.i., v. 67. O. BLIVION, one that was not travelling so fas¢ thereto, B. ii., O v. 2. Strait down, you can’t miss it, B. iv., v. 422. The exact geography of, being the adjoining territory to Chaos, B. i.. ve 111. Vast capacity of, argued from the number of those who fall into it, B. iii., v. 138. Old-maids, why they naturally take to the pen, B. ii., v. 378. Oulpa, big with Book, B. ii., v. 34. Our Masters, educate them, a rule applicable as well in things of Taste as of Government, App., v. 3. P. ARADISE Lost, tautology in, as made appear by Ed. Ath, P B. i-, v. 10. Paradise, the Earthly, many a weary line off, as indicated by Mr. Morris, B. ii., v. 81. Perfect love, hymeneals of, B. iv., v. 530. INDEX. 315 Petticoat, what it hid; with reflections of Ed. Ath. on ‘‘ coveying” and ‘‘ uncovering,” B. iv., v. 52. Phlegm in Writers, or that which is excrementitious, B. ii., v. 36. Pickpockets, among Writers, exculpated, provided they acknow- ledge the offence, B. iv., v. 138. Picric, with green vitriol and galls, articles in use among Review- ers, B. ii., v. 285. : Pillory, Dixon gives as proof that he was not pelted in it, as not in use in his day, B. iv., v. 505. Pimp and prostitute, bargain between, B. iv., v. 288. Plagiarists, the question argued, whether Pickpockets are of this class, and if a purloined pockethandkerchief is the same as a purloined passage, B. ii., v. 131. Pocket, how pick it, by the method of Fagin, B.i., v. 374. Poets, pumpkins, and cabbage heads, relatively considered, B. iii., v. 326. Of past times much to be praised, as having written before the discovery of poetry was made, B. iii., v. 162. The ‘real ones of the Earth, you may count them on your fingers. App., v. 3. POLLUX, JULIUS, Precepts of, compared with those of Dixon, B. li., Vv. 300. Preconium duplex, or double puff, artifices of, B. ii., v. 34. Precept to preserve the Knave, at which Dixon was interrupted by a burst of cheering, B. ii., v. 325. : Prediction, that the rags and remnants cannot always last, B. i., Vv. 222. Premature Births, how they happen, and to whom, B. i., v. 319. Present, a small one, and the serious consequences thereof, B. iv., yv. 283. Another, given, grazis, to Mrs. Stowe, Ib. Proletarii, authors fagoted together under this name, B. iv., v. 361. Prose, what it is, and Poetry, what it is not, with method by which they can be distinguished, B. iii., v. 162. Prostitutes, how carry on a trade in. them, B. ii., v. 203. Where they may purchase obscene books, with the titles of them, B. ii., v. 98. Publisher, a bulky one, conveyed in a coach, B. ii., v. 423. Thinks your Work a very good thing, and states the advance he re- quires, B. ii., v. 182. Punch and Judy, with their respective verses, B. iii., v. 176. Puns and Punch, reflections of Ed. Ath. concerning, B. iii., v. 396. 316 INDEX. Q. gr the modern, to which go three pints, B. ii., v. 285. R. AGS, who are likely to perish from the want of them, B. iii., Vv. 399- Rat, symbol of Night; come of a hungry and hateful breed, as Criticks, B. i., v. 86. An Excorcismus to expell them, Ib., v. go. Raw Baboon, in Natural History, a disgusting creature, without breeches, B. iv., v. 170. Reformation, that which changes the form of the Vice, and leaves the Vicious the same, B. ii., v. 412. Reptile, pseudonymuncle, a scurrilous skunk, said of Gentlemen of the Atheneum, B. iv., v. 440. Resurrection, the day of at hand, B. ii., v. 442. Reviewers, hire of, Article on by the Northamptonshire poet, B. iii., v- 393. How many days in the week they write, and in how many drink, B. ii., v. 388. How they instruct an Author. out of his own Work, B. ii., v. 88. Of a snarling breed, and, like outcast-curs, lean-and mangy, B. ii., v.94. Providence of, who retain a viaticum of three pence, being the classical one, Bvii., v. 391. Romance, a Greek one, opening with the endangered virginity of the heroine, B. i., v. 354. The child of Sin and Ignorance, and where she had birth, B. i., v. 287. The whole world con- verted into one, B. iii., v. 64. ‘ Rule, in building, that one bad brick in a wall, condemns the whole of it, B. ii., v. 253. Ss. ABIN, JOE, second class as a dealer, but first class as a scholar, for he had studied at Oxford, B. iv., v. 375. Had the misfortune to lose his Latin, on his way to America, Ib. INDEX. 317 SALA, very like a whale, B. iv., v. 111. His cap and bells very becoming to him, Ib. His Travels, Ib. Excluded from Rome, by the nose, Ib., v. 127. SALTUS and WHITMAN, Whitman and Saltus, B. iii., v. 334. SHANG and WHANG, and Whang and Shang, B. iii., v. 336. Scabies, whether utterly incurable, B. ii., v. 5. Scadies et con- tagio lucri, Ib. Scribblers, than Maggots in a carcass more numerous, B. i., v. 52. The common Sewer choked with them, B. i., v. 131. Setta de’ Tenebrost, those of the midnight school, B. iii., v. 371. Shoddy-Shop, artifices by which one is altered, to deceive the _ Public, Supp. to B. iv., v. 1. Shoddy, how made, according to the description of good old Latimer, B. ii., v. 385. Shoulder-slipped, and buttock-slipped, terms in farriery, B. iv., v. 268, Sin, the advent of, the same as that of Error, which consists in a deviation from Simplicity, App., v. 17. Sinker, for want of a heavier, that which was made use of, B. iv., v. 5. Skull, tympany of, relieved by paracentesis, B. i., v. 237. Slanderers, how they should be treated, B. ii., v. 221. Stang, a modern word, and modern art, despised by the Ancients, B. iv., v. 25. Slave in the Triumph, what it is, B. iv., v. 170. Smut, the favourite topick, B. iv., v. 345. Sous-a-Liner, the error he fell into, B. i., v. 6. Spavined Donkey; doubts of Ed. Ath. on the subject, B. ii., Vv. 22. STOWE, MRs., how she searched certain parts of knowledge, to the bottom, B. iv., v. 298. Owns her doubts on some sub- jects, Ib., v. 308. Strumpets, their wit, and in what way they show it, App., v. 57. Student, the modern, the missing link in Natural History; that created thing which reads, but cannot reflect, B. iv., v. 92. Subject, method by which an author may enlarge on one, without addition of writing, B. iii., v. 166. SWINBURNE, difficulty of reducing him to order, B. ii., v. 217. Discovers undoubted symptoms of the Skad/viing/, B. iii., v. 236. Specimens of the fie from his Writings, B. iii., v. 243. 318 INDEX. ‘ T: ACKLE of Atlantic Cable, Author returns thanks for, B. iii., v. 6. Tale-Weavers, where they procure their materials, B. ii., v. 69. Taste, the revolutions of, beginning with simplicity, and ending in affectation, App., v. II. TAYLOR, Ba., being jilted, how he sought consolation, B. i., v. 93. TENNYSON, like Whachum, tries his pen on the Calendar, and finds his verses, like a Birth-Day Ode, out of date at the end of the year, B. iii., v. 176. Terror, the moving principle in Tragedy and Criticism, B. ii., v. 137. Thieves’ Literature, specimens of, B. i., v. 374. TROLLOPE, a commercial traveller, of the second class, B. iv., v. ‘184. Legitimate by his Mother, Ib., v. 193. Specimens of the vernacular, in his style of writing and of eating, Ib., v. 195. Two ships, how an Editor came across sea in them, B. iv., v. 249. U. GLY mark, on what creatures, and in what way, affixed, U with that which distinguished Dickens, B. iv., v. 11. Ultima Thule, where situated, B. iii., v. 410. Unimmortal part of the creature Homo, where it goes to, B.i., v. 128. Unlearning, the difficult Art of, and cost of teaching it, B. ii., v. go. Vv. ERMIN Breed; see Criticks, B. i., v.75. How classed by Hunter, the Physiologist, Ib. Voracity, extraordinary feat of, and eating against time, B. iv., v. 253. VuLCAN’s net, what a type of, Supp. to B. iv., v. 26. INDEX. 319 W. ANT, vanity, and lucre, incentives to Writing, B. i., v. 2. Wit, a vulgar quality, though not a common one, B. i., vil. Woon, Mrs. HENRY, inherited the piquant taste of her father, who was of Worcester. Commencing with an abortion, threw triplets afterwards, and obtained the Queen’s bounty, B. i., v. 94. Worthless, the Receptacles of, B. ii., v- 113. Writers, half-a-dozen only, to the latest dates, have proved their skill in the World, B. ii., v. 361. Writing, the proper occupation of those who are born blockheads, or who are without hands or feet, B. i., v. 191. Ne EAR, in what season of, it is fitting to be brilliant, and in Y what dull, B. ii., v. 186. YONGE, of the feminine order, a shapely pillar; stands up for Church, B., iv., v. 104. Her novels, with a beginning, but no end of them, Ib. Young reader, by what arts engage the attention of, B. iv., v. 474. Yours til Death, ovigin of this phrase, at the end of letters, B. iv., Vv. 70. ‘ Z. OILUS, critick, confessed that his malignity sprung from f_ impotence, B. ii., VY. 229. Not an Author, but a Critick, B. 1, V. 43. ADDENDA: BEING PASSAGES OMITTED FROM THE OBLIVIAD. ENTERED AT STATIONERS’ HALL, PASSAGES OMITTED FROM THE OBLIVIAD. I. Here dragg’d to day, the monster of a birth, Shaggy and dark, a thing disown’d of earth, Grisly of front, and with a mane of hair, The doubtful breed of buffalo and bear ; Yet such that human hiding in its face ; 5 Something like language, and of mind a trace; NOTES. VER. 3. Grisly of front,] Manifestly a misprint for Grizzly, if not so spelled through zgzorance of the Author, who had heard of the grizzly bear of the Rocky Mountains, so named from its appearance. Ep. ATH. VER. 4. doubtful breed of buffalo and bear ;] One of the products of a new state of society, such as the ‘‘half horse half alligator” gentle- men of a past age. VER. 5. human hiding in its face ;| Hiding, through a sense of bashfulness, we suppose, from the company it found itselfin, Ep. ATH. IMITATIONS. VER, I. dragg'd to day, the monster of a birth,} ** And drags the struggling savage into day.” GOLDSMITH, Traveller, iv THE OBLIVIAD. Addenda. Nameless that long, and to no class confined, Till known as Joaquin Miller to mankind. From his own unplough’d plains the creature goes, Where muddy stream, like dark Missouri, flows ; 10 Whence led, or lost, through sea the pathless way He wends, the uncaged wonder of the day ; From lane to lane, invites the crowd along, *Mid shouts and laughter, with a sort of song; That light and heavy which of late so prized, 15 And mix’d the barb’rous with the civilized ; Till from the rest he sees Carlyle advance, With Browning justled in a kind of dance; Hail, hail, he shouts, as recognized each face, And hugs his brethren in a bear’s embrace. 20 Then, met some swarthy female to his mind, In gaze of all he does the deed of kind ; NOTES. VER Io. muddy stream, like dark Missouri, flows ;| The Mississippi is pure and transparent, until joined by the Missouri, which fills it with mud, and thence darkens it all the way to the Ocean. **Cum flueret lutulentus, erat quod tollere velles.” Hor, Sat, L.i., 4, v. 11. VER. 17. he sees Carlyle advance, With Browning justled in a kind of dance ;| Carlyle attracting him by the qualities of his person, and Browning by those of his mind, I suppose. Am. Ep, VER, 21, female to his mind,] ‘© The Dove of Saint Mark.” ‘*her shrine where naked Venus keeps, And Cupids ride the Lion of the deeps,” The winged Lion, the Arms of Venice. . IMITATIONS. VER, 22. does the deed of kind ;) “And in the doing of the deed of kind.” MERCHANT OF VENICE, Acti. sc. 3. Addenda, THE OBLIVIAD. Vv As ‘but a brute’ bursts forth a gen’ral cry, ‘The fellow void of common decency.’ *Tis said, indeed, when resolute to roam, 25 To his sole she he bade farewell at home; Rebellious to the matrimonial rule, A poet true of the Byronian school ; Left of his loins the growth on distant plains, And brought abroad the product of his brains. 30 A bard, a bard, direct from Nature sprung, With verse like Orpheus’, when the Muse was young ; The rugged rocks all split, at his command, And wolves drawn round him, in a tuneful band ; NOTES. Ver. 22. Jn gaze of all he does the deed of kind ;| It is not, therefore, without reason that the ATHENZUM compliments this Author upon his “ virile force.” ‘* Saved from mawkishness by his virili- ty.” ‘Irresistible impulse.” Vindicates himself from the aspersion of PER- situs, who doubted that the poets in his day, like those of our own, were emasculated : ; ‘* Hee fierent, si zestzcu/i vena ulla paterni Viveret in nobis?” Sat. i, v. 103. VER. 23. ‘a brute?| An expression which is softened in the ATHE- N‘zuM, where he is called simply ‘‘a half reclaimed savage,” Ver. 24. ‘ The fellow void of common decency.’} ‘* Mutinous from the moral standpoint,” as in the ATHEN/=UM, still desi- rous to uphold the #zora/, for which reason it was that it brought into notice the most indecent passage in the whole book. VER, 27. Rebellious to the matrimonial rule, A poet true of the Byronian school ;| This writer is a great master of the ambiguous; as in these lines, which mean just one thing or the other. Ep. ATH. VER. 33. Zhe rugged rocks all split, at his command, And wolves draiwn round him in a tuneful band ;| For which, consult PausaNIAs, Greecize Descriptio, Lib. ix,, cap. 30. vi THE OBLIVIAD. Addenda, For thus in treble when a pipe is blown, 35 Dogs join the music, with a piercing moan. But, ah! too like, since thrown into a trench, For ever lost his Arizonian wench ; Who mid the war of winds, of rain the din, Deaf to his plaintive call, come in, come in! 40 The West, so vain, a hundred years now past, Surveys her son, and is o’erjoy’d at last. Yet rash who trust in all they chance to meet, This child of Nature is perhaps a cheat; NOTES. VER. 39. Who mid the war of winds, of rain the din, Deaf to his plaintive call, come in, come in !} Every reader of sensibility must perceive how much these circumstances add to this affecting scene ; when, the description of a young woman, in a jea- lous fit, rushing out to drown herself, is aggravated by the storm then rag- ing, and the rain, by which she must have been wet to the skin, and which was such that he could only call to her, come in, come in, not venturing out himself, nor wishing to seek shelter from it in the water, like Gargantua, Ver. 41. Zhe West,] Understand America in general, which had just completed her first centenary period. VER. 42. Surveys her son, and is content at last.] The Atheneum ‘congratulates America, upon having, at length, given birth to a poet worthy of her ;’’ which is a studied insult upon Longfellow, Whitman, and, above all Bryant, who lived and wrote through nearly the whole epoch, America just saved her distance. One poet is all that can be expected in an age ; and, lo! just at the close, that star, for which every telescope had been searching, sets fire to the sky. Pretenders, as we see, are numerous, IMITATIONS. Ver. 37. But, ah! too like, since thrown into a trench, For ever lost his Arizonian wench ;} ‘© Quo fletu Manes, qua numina voce moveret ? Illa quidem Stygia nabat jam frigida cymba,” Virc. Geor. L. iv., v. 505. Addenda. THE QBLIVIAD. vii The Yankee hid by hair from curious eyes, 45 And all that bearskin but a rude disguise ; Like Indian manufactured for a show, With help of ochre or of indigo. I’ve seen as sly a savage who ne’er put His native nose beyond Connecticut. 50 Or, may be, with that blanket for a cloak, Miller but meant it for another joke. A modern poem would you bring to light, The’ Rules are needed ere you sit to write; NOTES. but poets are rare things in the world, according to so sour a critick as SwIFT, who thus speaks of the mother country: **Say Britain, could you ever boast Three poets in an age at most? Our chilling climate hardly bears A sprig of bays in fifty years,’? On Poetry, a Rhapsody. VER. 44. perhaps a cheat ;| I desire to say that this ‘‘ perhaps” was hastily hazarded, as, upon inquiry, I have learned, that Mr. Miller was in California. Am. Ep. Ver. 48. With help of ochre or of indigo.] Too highly coloured, Am. Ep. VER. 54. The Rules are needed| This seems at variance with what pre- vails in the present day ; up to which period the world did not know ‘‘ what poetry was,’”? Ibid. The Rules are needed ere you sit to write ; And, since at first is ‘nothing,’ be your boast, Still to the last that ‘ nothing’ uppermost ; That Aristotle may the whole defend, Alike beginning, middle, and the end ;] Aristotle is.somewhat a dark writer, but his meaning, I conjecture, is this: A piece of writing may be a whole, and yet be of no magnitude, or impor- tance, whatever. By a whode, said he, (for he finds it necessary to explain himself, ) I mean that which has a beginning, a middle, and an end, A ée- % viii THE OBLIVIAD.’ Addenda. And, since at first is ‘nothing,’ be your boast, 55 Still to the last that ‘nothing’ uppermost ; That Aristotle may the whole defend, Alike beginning, middle, and the end; Led by whose hand, and unrestrain’d of rage, The rest commit to an indulgent age. 60 Reason too tame, let Fancy raise the theme, And, dull while waking, but consult your dream ; When immethodical let all be taught, And bring rebellion to the reign of Thought ; On things fantastical alone intent, 65 And anarchy your native element. Like Sibyl’s verses to the leaves consign’d, That toss’d about, and scatter’d by the wind, NOTES. ginning is that which does not require anything defore it; an end, that which nothing is required to follow; while a mzd/e is that which is placed between two nothings, and unites them: (Something as in the Galvanic bat- tery, when a positive is flanked by a negative an each side of it:) For so I understand him ; though that the Learned may have an opportunity of com- paring my interpretation, or, as we call it, my rendering, with the original, it is as here following : “Kort yap Gdov rat pndey 2xov péyeSos, “Odoy Sé éort, Th Exov apxhy nal wécov kal TredeuTiv. Apxh dé éorw, 6 adTd pev e& avdyrns wh perd BAAo earls per exetvo 8 Ercpoy méepuney elvar } ylveoSai. Tedrcuth de toovavrtoy, & abr) per’ KARO mépuney elvat, } ek avdyKns, } as émrrowoAU- mera 3& rotro BAAo ovdév. Mécov Be, $ Kal avrd pera HAA, Kal per’ éxeivo Erepov. Act &pa rods cuveoratas eb pdSous, wh® daddev Eruxev Baxecdat, whd Swou Eruxe reAcvrgvs GAA xexphicda tats elpnucvais iddas. ARIsTOT, De Poet. cap. vii. VER. 59. unrestrain’d of rage,| The present is nat the first occa- sion on which we have been forced to object to the ambiguity of the word rage ; which may be the poet/e fury, or that of the other sort. Ep, ATH, Addenda. THE OBLIVIAD. ix Your numbers move in an unmeasured dance, And left all meaning to the sport of chance ; 7O When, sometimes, so perversely things are sent, Your words say one thing, though another meant. Some score of phrases all your stock in trade, Whence all those gew-gaw images are made ; Like shifting scenes that to the gazer ope, 75 When pebbles toss’d in the kaleidoscope. No view of nature, to recall delight, ’Tis all but random colour to the sight ; NOTES. VER. 77. view of nature, to recall delight,] Kal 7d xalpew rots piwhuact wdvras. Aristotle’s great principle of Imita- tion, on which rests all poetry, with the other zwdtative arts, Any object, he declares, imitated by words, or otherwise, gives a certain pleasure, aris- ing from a comparison between the thing represented, and the representa- tion of it; which is what we are to understand by what he calls, 7b pay- Odvewv, to learn, that pleasure, he asserts, natural to all men. DE PoEtica, Cap, iv. VER. 78. random colour] The pleasure in which case, (or when nothing in nature is represented,) does not come, Aristotle adds, from imi- tation, but from colours, or some such cause; ’tis an inferior and childish delight. Idem et Ibid. IMITATIONS. Ver. 67. Like Sibyl’s verses to the leaves consign'd, That toss'd about, and scatter'd by the wind,| ‘*Quzecunque in foliis descripsit carmina virgo, Digerit in numerum, atque antro seclusa relinquit : Illa manent immota locis, neque ab ordine cedunt, Verum eadem verso tenuis cum cardine ventus Impulit, et teneras turbavit janua frondes.”’ ENEID. Lib. iii., v. 445. x THE OBLIVIAD. Addenda. In mem’ry finds no traces of the brain, A moment glistens and is gone again. 80 IT. Lo, glaring, next, where Gladstone hung to view, Held by such hook as once Sejanus drew ; (But only with this diff’rence in the route, One to the ditch was drawn, and one dragg’d out.) Grim is that face, where still the passions sit 5 In life that had betray’d the Jesuit. IMITATIONS. VER. 79. Jn men’ ry finds no traces of the brain,) ** Something, whose truth convinced at sight we find, That gives us back the image of our mind.” Essay ON CRITICISM, v. 299. Pope found this in Boileau, in whose Preface we read, ‘* L’Esprit de ’Homme est naturellement plein d’un nombre infini d’idées confuses du Vrai, que souvent il n’entrevoit qu’é demi; et rien ne lui est plus agré- able que lorsqu’on lui offre quelqu’une de ces icées bien éclaircie, et mise dans un beau jour,.’’ Tis the same that occurred to Plato, when he said, that all knowledge is but remembrance. VER. 2, such hook as once Sejanus drew ;] «*Sejanus ducitur unco Spectandus.” Juv. Sat. x., v. 66. Tbid. Sipale Aly nab Frome yarns. : Hom., as in Motto to this Poem. VER, 5. Grim is that face,] * Quze labra? quis illi Vultus erat?” Juv. Sat. x., v. 67. Addenda. THE OBLIVIAD. xi All that he once had written, all he said, Down in the deep, and rotting with the dead; Book, speech, and pamphlet ; but no work to raise Perennial pillar to the writer’s praise : 10 In this, with so much more, compell’d to yield, Where Fame, afar, has hail’d her Beaconsfield. But, England’s pride when like at length to fail, And fate stood trembling in the doubtful scale, Raised was that voice to stop his country’s fall ? 15 The sophist subtle to betray it all; On Christian cavils boasted to rely, And was, in fact, her secret enemy ; Of art a master, how to shun the blame, When vice lies skulking ’neath a specious name. 20 NOTES. VER, 19. Of art a master,] For Master of Arts; a mere inversion of phrase. Ep. ATH. Ibid. how to shun the blame, When vice lies skulking ‘neath a specious name.) Should any critick, whether of the Athenzeum, or any other sheet, clean or dirty, make an application of this couplet, I desire distinctly to explain, that it was not suggested by a certain passage in the life of a certain States- man, when his friends vouched for him, (for they knew,) that he was only aiming at reformation, at the time found, one night, with appearances against him. To illustrate which, the following may. be quoted : ‘“* How Laurus lay inspired beside a sink, And to mere mortals seem’d a Priest in drink.” ‘¢ This line presents us with an excellent moral, that we are never to pass judgment merely by appearances; a lesson to all men who may happen to see IMITATIONS. VER. 10. Perennial pillar| **Monumentum ere perennius,”’ Hor. Car. Lib. iii, Od. xxx., v. 1. xii THE OBLIVIAD. Addenda. On so much mischief ask you why intent ; Gladstone had special insults to resent, Of temper jealous, who would all o’erthrow, To sink some rival, by a gen’ral blow. Or, he that Dian’s Temple wrapt in flame, 25 His model great to a detested fame ; To undermine the CHURCH, and then the State Urge on to ruin, in a common fate: The wretched recompense of all his pain, At most, that Gladstone work’d his worst in vain; 30 In him that faction for awhile had sway, The greatest rhetorician of his day. But, now, by Lords and Commons, Church and Court, Despised, what left him, in the last resort ? The Russian served him long; the second task 35 Suggests the Yankee, and to drop the mask : (Nations unlike, and opposite of ends ; But hate of England reconciles the friends.) NOTES. a reverend person in the like situation, not to determine too rashly: since an eminent casuist tells us, that if a priest be seen in any indecent action, we ought to account it a deception of sight, or illusion of the Devil, who sometimes takes upon himself the shape of holy men on purpose to cause scandal.” Dunciap, Book ii., v. 393. 2nd. Ed., London, 1729. Not to the purpose ; as he alluded to was not a reverend person. Ep, ATH. VER, 25. he that Dian’s Temple wrapt in flame,| Eratostratus ; who set fire to the Temple of Diana, to eternize his name, “ Tlla vero glorice cupiditas sacrilega.” Vav. Max, Lib. viii., c. 14. IMITATIONS. VER. 32. rhetorician| ‘*A sophistical rhetorician,” said the Earl of Beaconsfield, on a2 memorable occasion, Addenda. THE OBLIVIAD. Xiii He turns an anxious glance across the seas In hopes, perchance, with fulsome praise to please; 40 A rival people flatters at our cost, How great their gain, and all that England lost ; Till won, what miss’d at home, the high rewards, For seven years seated in their House of Lords, NOTES. VER. 40. Sulsome praise] Contained in an article in the North American Review, entitled ‘‘ Kin beyond Sea.” Ibid. The rock upon which we all split. The Yankees, in fact, dont care a fig what we say of them. They enjoy it mightily, and forget it. Kossuth, Fanny Wright, Ourselves, Lola Montes, and others, as well as Gladstone, has tried it, and, as far as our experience goes, only got home with contempt, Ep. ATH. VER. 44. seven years seated] The original object of the Constitu- tion being, that, when qualified by an apprenticeship, Members might be sent abroad. as Ministers, or elected as Presidents, at home. Ibid, House of Lords,| In which, contrary to the opinion of some theoretical writers, there is no insuperable difficulty. ‘* A breath can make them, as a breath has made,” Some titles are ready at hand, and, like medals, have the stamp of An- tiquity ; as, the Duke of Afaine, the Duke of York, Lord Baltimore, and others ; to which we can easily add the Earl of Cornfield, for the West, and of Cottonfield, for the South, with that of Cottonloom, for the North, to suppress jealousy. The august title of the Black Prince can not fail to content the Emancipated, if Lord Blackamore be thought too familiar, though as ‘‘significant and sounding” as Baltimore, already admitted, Morg, in Celtic, signifies big, or great; while BAL is doubtful; but for Black, it needs not Heraldry. Since, in aristocratic England, a dozen Peers were created at once, under Queen Anne; and since, in the days of Victoria, Disraeli and Cairns were simultaneously ennobled ; what hinders us to follow the precedent, and write out two, or two dozen, patents of nobility, until we have enough. The Commons; nothing need be said about them. ‘ Dréle de peuple,”’ said Talleyrand, ‘‘ vingt espéces de religion, et une seule , sauce.” In this, indeed, there might be an obstacle; but that the question is already decided, as monarchal England is even now remodeling her Con- stitution on Disestablishment. ‘The Throne! The Princess Louise, of the xiv THE OBLIVIAD. Addenda. The traitor plots to an applauding throng, 45 And pours the tide of virulence along. NOTES. blood Royal, offers most opportunely; and, for the style and title of the Monarchy, as the Kingdom of Great Britain was easily changed into the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland, we have but to say the. United Kingdom of America and the Canadas, and simply drop the States; which, in fact, are dropped already, together with what were once known as States’ rights; that revolution which, by a consolidation of empire, paved the road to this other. In this way will be renewed that which all of us so ardently desire ; redeunt Saturnia regna; auspiciously, with specie payments, the golden age returns; while Democracy, in the expression of those for whom it was more particularly founded, the vulgar, is ‘played out.” The Marquis of Lorne, let us name the Prince Consort ; and, at all events, one thing is certain, that all the Ladies, without distinction, will give their adhesion to the new regime, and uphold the Petticoat Government. Whence, as the flaunting sails of a ship fan along the heavy hull through the seas, the Ladies being moved, the Men move with them ; or, (to borrow the instance from Addison,) as Hudibras was carried apace, although he wore but a single spur, knowing that if one side of the horse went, the other must go with it. The Election is close at hand ; instead of which, we have but to call a Convention, when the matter may be as readily decided as choose a President, and even much more so, from what happened on the last occasion: to say nothing of the recurrence of expense, the knavery, perjury, and violence, to which we have submitted with so laudable a patience. VER. 46. pours the tide of virulence along.) England, Mr, Gladstone explains, is much to blame, that she neglects to circumscribe her dominions, like those of the United States, a ‘‘homogene- ous country,” rounded off, and polished, like a mass of ice in the Atlantic, against which whatever strikes, sinks ineffectually : “In seipso totus, teres atque rotundus, Externi ne quid valeat per leve morari; In quem manca ruit semper fortuna.” England is much like what Prussia used to be, when her possessions were compared to a pair of garters thrown across the map of Europe, until such time as that great mathematician Bismarck squared the circle, and made all Addenda. THE OBLIVIAD. xv compact. The rule by which Bismarck worked was that of aggregation, which is precisely that which Mr. Gladstone objects against, as but adding to the difficulties of an empire that, like the girdle of Puck, binds, not a Continent, but the Earth. Whence, there is not to add, but lop off, and cut adrift those Colonial excrescences that retard her progress, until she becomes that ‘tight little island’? she once so much boasted herself. Or, if England be too small, and attempting a part she is not equal to, as Ve- nice, Genoa, and Holland, let us take the hint from the last mentioned of these States, which rather than lower her pride, proposed to sail, with all her wealth, to the remote Indies, and there rule without a rival. Since we want elbow room, therefore, let us emigrate, with our whole “plant,” to New-Holland, where is enough and to spare, with-land at a penny the acre; and there ‘‘ grapple with the problem of making a Continent into a State.” What if some one were to tell Mr. Gladstone, that the British Empire is so much the stronger, because thus scattered over the face of the Earth, the products of which we collect, and thereby increase our prosperity, which, in other words, is our power? These products, who is there that can snatch from us? We have certain contrivances, that move about among these out- lying estates, the commerce with which contributes to defray the charges attending them ; these were able to protect our dependencies and us at that time when the greater part of Europe was our enemy, as they can now, I believe, ‘‘ against a world in arms.” ‘Prussia has been overrun by France, and France by Prussia; the very thought of which no Englishmen could en- dure, who, so Jong, free at home and abroad, moves, with the winds, and bears with him conquest to the remotest confines of the habitable globe: s* Sive in extremos penetrabit Indos, Litus ut longe resonante Eoa Tunditur unda,” The sea, as Sir Andrew Freeport delighted to call it, is the ‘‘ British common,”’ through which, by sufferance, other nations pass peaceably on their affairs; and that which bounds the domain of these other powers, but enlarges that of the British. The blame, primarily, indeed, Mr. Gladstone allows, must rest with Providence, who has not endowed Englishmen with ‘brain force” in pro- portion with the cares of an Empire so great. In this, to the States she has been more liberal, who are now, or, next year, will be, by much greater than we are, or are ever likely to be. From the States, then, let us take in- struction, and do as they did, in their better day, before ‘‘ State indepen- dence became an archzological relic, a piece of historical antiquarianism ;” leave separate communities to manage their own affairs, like so many parishes, with as little interference as possible from those wanting ‘* brain force” at xvi THE OBLIVIAD. Addenda. the head of office. Our Colonists brought their municipal usages with them, and have not yet, by internecine blood, been kneaded into that homogenity which Mr. Gladstone so much admires, , All this, however, is no concern of mine; a diver into the Bathos, or fisher of faults, of which the Article of Mr, Gladstone furnishes very many examples, and of which, agreeable to my usage, I will here give one or two: ‘*Our two governments, whatsoever they do, have to give reasons for it; not reasons which will content the unreasonable, but reasons which on the whole will convince the average, mind, and carry it unitedly forward in a course of action, often though not always wise, and bearing within itself provisions, where it is unwise, for the correction of its own unwisdom before it grow to an intolerable rankness.” The praises to Mr. Gladstone of which extract, are only such as remain when those due to Mr. Carlyle have first been deducted from them; from whom also the tautology of the following is manifestly borrowed : ‘In the United Kingdom, the people as such cannot commonly act upon the ministry as such. But mediately, though not immediately, they gain the end; for they can work upon that. which works upon the ministry, namely, on the House of Commons.” *‘Yet the actual attributions of the State authorities cover by far the largest part of the province of government ; and, by.this division of labour and authority, the problem of fixing for the nation a political centre of gravity is divested of a large part of its difficulty and danger, in some pro-. portion to the limitations of the working precinct.” A clause meriting the praises of Addison, who was at much pains to point out the beauties of ‘‘a well-written piece of Nonsense.” “ There were, however, the strongest reasons why America could not grow into a reflection or repetition of England.” I would be glad to know what particular figure of speech it is which is here abused. Not that Mr. Gladstone wants the familiar, as appears by the following, from the school of Dickens: : *‘ The nation is not at all conscious of being overdone.” ‘* Nothing pays better.” However, paulo majora: ‘* And it may be well here to mention, what has not always been suffi- ciently observed, that the distinction between continuous empire, and em- pire severed and dispersed over sea, is vital.” Not always sufficiently observed ; Bacon lias this Dispersion, in his Essay on The True Greatness of Kingdoms and Estates, but draws from it a cou- clusion the opposite of Gladstone; for, he wrote, speaking of the Romans, « Add to this their custom of plantation of colonies, whereby the Roman Addenda. THE OBLIVIAD. Xvii plant was removed into the soil of other nations, and putting both constitu- tions together, you will say that it was not the Romans that spread upon the world, but it was the world that spread upon the Romans; and that was the sure way of greatness.” Whence, if Cyprus assimilates with remote England, as with remote Rome, difference is there none, except in favour of Cyprus, which we approach, not with the design to plunder, but enrich. ‘*The now-forgotten maxim of Judge Blackstone, who denounced as perilous the erection of a separate profession of arms in a free country.” By. much the wisest thing, that I know of, which has been said on this matter, is by Bacon, in his Essay on Empire: ‘‘For their men of war, it is a dangerous state where they live and remain in a body and are used to donatives, whereof we see examples in the janizaries and pretorian bands of Rome; but trainings of men, and arming them in several places, and under several commanders, and without donatives, are things of defence, and no danger,” However, more than half a century before Blackstone, Fletcher of Saltoun, an able political writer, and reaZ patriot, published a ‘ Discourse on Government with Relation to Militias,’ not likely to sink into Obli- vion, in which is strongly argued, and vehemently denounced, the estab lishment of ‘Mercenary Armies, as exactly calculated to enslave a na- tion;’ while is shown that ‘a good militia is of such importance to a nation, that it is the chief part of the constitution of any free government,’ To Mr, Gladstone I would recommend the study of Fletcher, whose style, masculine, perspicuous, and unaffected, is very different from that of ‘* Kin beyond Sea,” not less than from that of those various pieces, in prose and verse, on which I have reflected ; things that the admiration of the present age, but which will be the contempt of the next. 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