NEVT YORK:
iiAvyy HOURS commasT,
No. 1 CHAMBERS STREET
HATCH BILLOP.
COLLCCTIQH—
How We Manapfl Our Private Theatricals.
In which will be found plain directions for the construction and arrangement of
the Stage, painting the Scenery, getting up the Costumes, making the Properties
and Accessories, Hints on Stage Effects, full and complete instructions for making
Calcium Lights, etc., etc., with numerous illustrations and diagrams. To which is
added "Penelope Anne," a roaring farce for home performance. Prepared for
the use of schools, private families, and dramatic clubs. Price 35 Cents.
Tie Actor's Art.
Its Requisites and how to obtain them, its Defects and how to remove them.
(Containing clear and full directions in every branch of the Art; with complete and
valuable instructions for beginners, relative to rehearsals, entrances and exits, gen¬
eral hints on action, qualities of voice, etc., etc. In short, an indispensable book lo
the amateur. Price 15 Cents.
Parlor Tableaux; er, Animates Pictures.
For the use of Families, Schools and Public Exhibitions. Containing about eighty
popular subjects, with plain and explicit directions for arranging the stage, dress¬
ing-room, lights, full descriptions of costumes, duties of stage manager, properties
and scenery required, and all the necessary directions for getting them up, so that
any one can act in them. Everything is stated in a plain, simple manner, so that it
will be easily understood ; everything like style or unnecessary show has ben avoid¬
ed, in order that all may readily grasp at the author's meaning.
For public or private entertainment, there is nothing which is so intferesting and
instructive as the tableaux. Price 35 Cents.
Shadow Pantomimes; or, Harlepiii in the Shade.
How to get them up and how to act in them ; w ith full and concise instructions
and numerous Illustrations. Also full and complete descriptions of properties and
costumes. It has been the aim of the author to provide harmless home amusement
for old and young, excluding everything objectionable to sound morality and good
home training. By Tony Denier, Pantomimist, author of "Tony Denier'sParlor
Pantomimes," " Amateur's Guide," etc. Price 585 Cents.
The Stump Speaker.
Being a collection of Comic Speeches and Recitations, Burlesque Orations, Stump
Speeches, Laughable Scenes, Humorous Lectures, Button-Bursting "Witticisms, Ri¬
diculous Drolleries, Funny Stories, etc., etc., translated into the four modern lan¬
guages—Yankee, Dutch, Irish, and Ethiopian—for the convenience of the public at
large. Price 15 Cents.
Mrilopism Made Easy, ani The Second-Sight Mystery.
As practiced by Robert Heller and others, fully explained. In this little volume we
place all the w<niltrs of "Vkktuiloquism at the command of our young- friends.
Price '45 Cents.
Either of the above will be sent by mail, post-paid, on receipt of the
price, bv
HAPPY HOURS COMPANY,
No. I Chambers St., New York.
HATCH BiUQPS
COLLECTiOH
HAMLET THE DAINTY,
*
ON
SHAKESPEARE'S HAMLET.
performed by
GRIFFIN & CHRISTY'S MINSTRELS.
BY G. W. H. GRIFFIN, ESQ.,
Author of "Rooms to Let." &c.
\ \
NEW YORK:
HAPPY HOURS COMPANY,
No. 1 Chambers Street.
CHARACTERS—[Hamlet the Dainty. J
Hamlet
Horatio
Marcellus
Osrick
Laertes
King
Queen
And members of the Court or [Alley]
I
HAMLET THE DAINTY.
SCENE I.—A Street.
Enter Hamlet, Horatio and Marcellus, l. 2 e. Hamlet is
dressed in black tights, with tight fitting swallow-tailed dress
coat, buttoned tight up to the neck, large black neck stock, a white
hat with narrow brim, and black weed on it. The other charac¬
ters are dressed in any comical wardrobe they may choose.
Ham The air bites shrewdly—it is very cold.
Hor I never saw a darky half so bold.
Ham "What is't o'clock 1
Hor I"Draws out very large tin watch.'] Half past eleven, at
most. (" Winds up his watch.
Mar \Drawing out large round turnip.\ My watch says
twelve. [Clock strikes twelve.
Ham Dry up! here comes the ghost,
jEnter Ghost, dressed in shabby, ragged uniform, his face perfectly
white with ilour; he is smoking a long segar, and reading a
newspaper. Horatio and Marcellus are very much frightened.
They fall against each other, then on the stage ■ rolling over and
doing all sorts of comic bus.
4 HAMLET THE DAINTY.
Ham He's from the South ! Oh, grace defend us !
Prythee ! no more such frightful specters send us!
Be thou blacked up, or goblin damned !
Be thou with whisky puffed, or old cheese cram'd!
Be thy intents indifferent, good or bad,
I'll speak to thee, thou look'st so like my dad—
In a trim box, so snugly was't thou lain.
Say! what the deuce e'er brought you out again 1
I like a joke myself—but 'tis not right,
To come and frighten us to death at night.
Say, why is this, will you the reason tell us 1
Why come to frighten me, Horatio and Marcellus ?
[Ghost puts his. finger on his nose, then motions Hamlet to
follow himJ
He wants to speak a word with you alone!
Does he ? Here goes then ! Now, old pap, lead on!
You shall not go ! \They take hold of liim.
Perhaps he means to kill you!
You'd better hold your jaw—-be quiet, will you ?
No, sweetness, you shall not go.
My fate cries out and gives me pluck—so mind
What you're about—[Ghost motions him]—Still am i
called.
Paws off! The time does fly!
Let go your hold—or else I'll black your eye.
Hop off, I say! [Breaks from them. To Ghost.J
Lead on ! I closely follow.
[To Hor. and Mar.] Wait here !
If I want you, boys, I'll holler.
[Exit Ghost and Ham. r., Hor. and Mar. l.
Hor
Ham
Mar
Hor
Ham
Hor
Ham
HAMLET THE DAINTY.
SCENE 11—^ Wood.
Enter Ghost and Hamlet, r.
Ham Look here, Mr, Ghost, this is played out—I'll go no
further!
Ghost You had better.
Ham No!
Ghost Then hold your tongue and hear what I declare—
I'm pressed for time—we keep good hours down there.
Soon I must go and get an oyster roast;
Then list! oh, list!
Ham Alas, poor ghost!
Ghost I am thy father's ghost,
Doomed for a certain time to walk the night.
I could such a dismal tale unfold—
Ham I knew he had a tail. Oh, lord!
Ghost As would make your precious blood run cold.
*****
One afternoon, as was my use,
I went to a gin mill to take a snooze—
When your uncle into my mouth did pour
A gallon of brandy smash, or more.
*****
Torment your uncle, for my sake—
Let him never have a drink, asleep or awake.
Your mother's plague, let her conscience be;
Adieu ! adieu ! remember me! [ Vanishes.
Enter Horatio and Marcellus, runninq
Mar How is't, my lord 1 What said the ghost 1
Ham You'll blab.
6
HAMLET THE \DAINTY.
Mar Not I!
Hor I'm silent as a post.
Ham He said I could not drink—then sneaked away—
Hor He thought, my lord, you had no stamps to pay—
That's all. He might have stayed then, in his bed—
Ham That's as he pleases—he comes in dead head. *
Here! I've a word to say before you go—
Never make known what you've seen and know.
Hor Not I!
Mar Nor I!
Ham Swear!
Ghost Make 'em swear—that's right—
H and M We will not tell the leastest little mite.
Ham Dry up, secesh. It's such chilling weather,
Suppose we go and take a drink together.
The world's gone mad—oh! cursed fate, that I
Should live to see a ghost that cannot die. [Exit.
SCENE III.—Interior of palace—throne, chairs, <$c.
Enter Hamlet and Horatio.
Ham Horatio, I've not seen 6uch scenes,
Since I was in Boston eating pork and beans.
Enter Osrick, dressed extravagantly, as a fop.
Os [To Hamlet.] His majesty has made a match for you
To spar with young Laertes, a rummy bruiser—
And betted him the contents of his purse
That you—young Hamlet—that you'll bust his crust.
Laertes is quite ready to set to;
They're all assembled, and but wait for you.
HAMLET THE DAINTY.
7
Ham I'll fight him, sir. I ne'er felt bolder—
Hor I'll be your second.
Os And I'll be bottle holder. [Flourish of trmpets <$■ drums.
Enter King, Queen, Laertes, and others, and take seats to wit¬
ness the contest.
King To put an end to all this muss and noise,
\To H. and L.J Shake hands, and make it up, my jolly boys.
They shake hands, and the gloves are brought in.
If in the two first rounds, Hamlet hit most blows,
Or 'scape the third without a bloody nose—
Let all the guns we've got make the discovery, [Drum.
The King shall drink to Hamlet's quick recovery.
[They put on gloves, and make a comical light.
A hit!
No hit!
An 'it. I'll bet a dollar.
A hit or not, 'twas something made him holler!
Giv# me the beer [To Ham.] This Stoughton is for you
rPours poison.
Hamlet, your health—[Pretends to drink]—You'd bet-
drink some too.
Let's have this round—when I want drink I'll ask it.
I had him then, right in the bread basket.
Hamlet, your health—[Drinks]— ha! this is famous
stingo!
Don't drink!
I have!
The poisoned cup, by jingo !
Another hit, Laertes, in the stomach. [Laertes down.
Ham
Laert
Os
Ham
King
Ham
Queen
King
Queen
King
Ham
8
HAMLET THE DAINTY.
Laer Then it's below the belt, you breat big lummox.
[Queen screams and faints.
Os Look to the Queen! f To L.] How is't my lord 1
Laer I'm dished! I'm whipped as neatly as I could have
wished.
Ham How does the Queen 1
King To see your bloody noses, her stomach slightl
indisposes.
Queen No, no ! I'm poisoned ! Your old uncle, here,
Has mixed a deadly poison with the beer.
It's now too late—I took too many swigs—
He put the poison in, to kill off all you nigs. [Dies.
[They all attack the King with stuffed clubs, brooms, dfC.; while
they are all fighting Ghost appears; they all fall back upon the
stage, and tremble with fright. Curtain.
I
THE END.
T* W ¥ ? ¥ I Ti » t • ?
For Amateur Theatricals, Tableau Vivants,
Surprise Parties, Balls, Etc,,, Etc,,
MANUFACTURED AND FOR SALE BX
HAPPY HOURS COMPANY,
No. 1 Chambers Street, New York.
TABLEAU LIGHTS.
The Colored Fire that gives such a charm and glory to tableau and fairy scenes on
the stage, can be easily introduced into parlor performances. There are many books
giving receipts for making these fires, but they all contain sulphur and potash,
which, when mixed together, are liable to spontaneous combustion and explosion,
and are, therefore, dangerous. These lights are made expressly for parlor use, con¬
tain no sulphur, and are entirely free from danger. There are five colors (red,
white, blue, green and violet), and ready for use. The red and green are especially
fine, burning without smoke or fumes. These lights are dazzling in their brilliancy,
requiring no reflectors. "" Price each, tiS Cents.
Colored Fire in Bulk.
Put up in half pound packages. Xot less than half pound of each color is sold
in bulk. This has to be sent by Express. Per pound, $3.00
MAGNESIUM TABLEAU LIGHTS.
A newly discovered metal, capable of being ignited ijy a common match, and
burning with a brilliancy equal to that of 74 stearine candles, producing a light that
can be seen for nearly thirty miles. Unequaled in beauty and brilliancy.
This is the best light for moonlight or statuary. It is "so intense, that it causes a
gas flame to cast a shadow. Price each, 35 Cents.
Wigs.
Orey—(Real Hair) S OO
Iron (irey—(Common) 75
White—(Old Man) 75
Yankee—(Real Hair) X OO
Irish— " " 8 OO
<J rop—black or brown real hair - 7 5 ©
Moilk—(Real Hair) 4 50
Indian 7 50
IVcgro ii SO
Beards, &c.
F ii 11—(Very Good) 2 7 5
—( Extra Fine) .'{ 50
Side Whiskers and Mous¬
taches—(On "Wire) 2 OO
Side Whiskers sind Mous¬
taches—(On Gauze) .'t OO
Moustaches—(All Colors). ... «»0
" " Extra Fine . 7 5
Imperials— All Colors .... .'SO
" " Extra fine. 50
Prepared Burnt Cork,
For Negi'O Minstrels, Masqueradss,
Tableaux, etc. Price, per box..
50
Mongolian.
In a paste, for Indians, Mulattoes, etc.
Price, per liox 50
Prepared Whiting-,
For Pantomimes, Statuary, Clown
Faces, etc., etc. Prepared by a special
process ; will not be affected by perspi¬
ration. Priee per box "50
Pencils, for Eyebrows. Price .. 50
for veins. Price 50
Lightning' for Private Theatri¬
cals.
Box containing the necessary material,
and full instructions for producing the
same without clanger. Per box, 50
*¥* The above Pastes, Cork, etc., are free from chalk, lead, or any ingredient
injurious to the skin, aud guaranteed perfcetlT harmless.
Any of the above (except Colored Fire in bulk) will be sent by mail, post-paid,
on receipt of the price.
HATCH BiLLOPS
lOLUCTON'
PARLOR, PLAYS
F O R
II O M E
p E li F O K M A N C E
Price 15 Cents Each,
1 Aladdin and the Wonderful Lamp.
2 The Loves of Little Bo-Peep and
Little Boy Blue.
3 Little Silver Hair and tlie Three
Bears.
4 Robin Hood.
5 Little Bed Riding' Hood.
0 The Frog Prince.
7 Blue Beard.
8 Jack, the Giant Killer.
9 Two Gentlemen at Mivart's.
10 Dark Deeds.
JI Marry in Haste and Repent at
12 Wearing of the Green. [Leisure.
13 Tlie Result of a Nap.
14 Monsieur Pierre.
15 Virtue Victorious.
16 Love.
17 Afloat and Ashore.
18 Tragedy Transmogrified.
19 Fairy Freaks.
20 A Medical Man.
21 Harlequin Little Red Riding Hood
22 Fireside Diplomacy.
23 Ingomar.
24 Money Makes the Man.
25 The Happy Despatch.
20 An Eligible Situation.
27 The Pet Lamb.
28 The Last Lily.
29 The Three Temptations.
30 Katharine and Petruchio.
31 His First Brief.
32 The Girls of the Period.
The Ethiopian Drama.
Price 15 Cents Each.
Robert Make-Airs.
Box and Cox.
United States Mail.
The Coopers.
Old Dad's Cabin.
The Rival Lover's.
The Sliam Doctor.
The Jolly Miller's.
Villikins and his Dinah.
The Quack Doctor.
The Mystic Spell.
The Black Statue.
Uncle Jeff.
The Mischievous Nigger.
The Black Shoemaker.
The Magic Penny.
The Wreck.
Oh Husli! or, the Virginity Cu-
Tlie Portrait Painter.
The Hop of Fashion.
Bone Squash.
The Virginia Mummy.
Thieves at the Mill.
Comedy Of Errors.
Les Miserables.
New Year's Calls.
Troublesome Servant.
Great Arrival.
Rooms to Let.
Black Crook Burlesque
[grids.
32 Ticket Taker.
33 Hvpocliondriac.
34 William Tell.
35 Rose Dal-.
36 Feast.
37 Fenian Spy.
38 Jack's the Lai I.
39 Othello.
40 Camilla.
41 Nobody's Son.
42 Sports on a Lark.
43 Actor and Singer.
44 Shvlock.
45 Quarrelsome Sen ants.
46 Haunted House.
47 No Cure, No Pa> .
48 Fighting for the Union.
49 Haiulet the Dainty.
50 CorsicairTwins.
51 Deaf—in a J lorn.
52 Challenge Dance.
53 De Trouble begins at Nine.
54 Scenes at Gurney's.
55 16,000 Years Ago.
56 Stage-struclc Darkey.
57 Black Mail.
58 Highest Price Paid for old < 'lothcs
59 Howls from the Owl Train.
60 Old Hunks.
61 The Three Black-Smith-.
62 Turkeys in Season.
HAPPY IIOU$S COMPANY, Publishers,
No. 1 Chambers Street, New York.