3 m ; bined ae oe $e Be « sts atc Nar, ay Tr tag < SWEETS: mtLRE GTI O N S "ia a as ae hoi kVA NE 5, hes - are S ; ; X ANEW EDITION. _ London: PRENTED FOROF NU NN, | Nos 4G, GREAT.QUEEN STREET, LINCOLN’S INN FIELDS» onan 1798. Bias ro - A) ee 3 oe ; * rat G: N bE NT Se: mi, | | Page | R ULES that concern all Servants in ge- . H Beral on ee me Sa aes ie ae Direfions to the repens Mem tothe Cock. LN Se ee net tothe Footman - -.-. = = = $3) : >: fo'the Coachman. - Ase pe to the Groom. =) - | = = Foe ea ———— to the Houfe Steward or Lewd Steward 55. p———— tothe Porter - - - = = = =» 56 | ———— to the Chamber-Maid .- - ~- - ibid. bah : = ta the Waiting-Maid - - - + 61, em Lo the Houfe-Maid . ae, Se hy, iain oe | tothe Dairy-Maid §-' -- + - 69 a — 1 the Childrens’ -Matd - - = ~- ibid. wn — fo the Nurfe - - ~ - = = ~ ibid. to the Laundrefs - = - ~ - 70 ————— to the Houfe-Keeper - - - - - ibid. to the Tutorefs or Governefs - = ibid. - i” i RULES ALL SERVANTS IN GENERAL, 7 HEN your tates ‘or aes calls a fervant by name, if the fervant be not in the way, none of you are to anfwer, for then there will be no end of your drudgery : and maf- ters themfelves allow, that if a fervant comes when he is called, it is fufficient. When you have done a fault, be always pert and infolent, and behave yourfelf as if you were theinjured perfon; this will immediately put your mafter or lady off their mettle. Ifyou fee your mafter wronged by any of your. fellow-fervants, be fure to conceal it, for fear of ‘being called a tell-tale: however, there; is one ex- ception in cafe of .a favourite fervant, who is juit- ly hated by the whole family ; who therefore are ‘ound in prudence to lay all the: faults they can upon the favourite., © - ‘Lhe cook, the butler, the groom, the market- man, and every other fervant who is concerned in the expences of the family, fhould a& as if his maf- ter’s whole eftate ought to be applied to that fer- vant’s particular bufinefs. For inftance, if the cook computes his matter’s. eftate to be a thou- fand pounds a year, he reafonably concludes that a thoufand pounds.a year Ai: aitord meat enough, and cand thereiiee hop need not be fparing; the butler -makes the fame® judgment, fo-may the-groom and. ‘theccoachman; and thus every branch of expence will be filled to your mafter’s honour... When you are chid before company (which with ‘fubmiffion to our matters and ladies isan unmanner- ‘lypfattice), it often happens thatfome ftranger will ‘have the good-nature to drop a word in your ex- -cufe; in fuch a cafe you will have a good title to ‘juftify yourfelf, and may rightly conclude, that, whenever he chides you afterwards on other occa- fions, hé may be in the wrong; ‘in which opinion “you willbe the better confirmed by ftating the cafe to your fellow-fervants in your own way, who will certainly decide in your favour »therefore, as @ have faid before, whenever you areuchidden, — scomplain as if you were injured. | 9 «i oe aa - Wt often happens, that fervants fenton meflages are aptto ftay out fomewhat longerthan themeflage requires, perhaps'two, four, fix, or eight hours, -or fome fuch trifle; for the temptation tobe fure was great, ‘and flefh and blood cannot alwaysrefift: .when you return, the mafter ftorms, the lady feoldss tripping, cudgelling, and turning off, is the word. Buthere you ought to be provided with a fet - -vof excufes,efiough to ferve on all occafions: for - 4anftance) your uncle-came fourfcore miles to town this morning on purpofe to fee. you, and goes back by break of day to-morrow: a brother fervant, that borrowed money of you*when‘he was out’ of place, was running’to Jreland::you were taking deave of an old fellow-fervant,” who was ‘fhipping for \Barbadoes: your father fent a cow to you’ to fell, and you could not get'a chapman till nine at night : you were taking leave of a dear coufin, who as to- be hanged next Saturday: you wrencht i008 oot ALL SERVANTS IN GENERAL. 4 _. foot againft'a ftohes and were forced to ftay three hours ina fhop, before you could ftir a ftep:: fome naftinefs was thrown on you out of.a garret-win+ dow, and you where afhamed to come home be- fore you were cleaned, and the fmell went off: were prefled for the fea- fervice, and carried © éfore a juftice of the peace, who kept you three hours before he examined you, and you got off ‘with much a-do: a bailiff, by. miftake, feized you for a debtor, and kept you the whole evening in a fpunging-houfe : you were told your mafter had gone to a tavern, and came to fome mifchance 5 and your grief was fo great that you enquired for his honour ‘in'a hundred taverns, between Pat Mall and Temple Bar. ' Take all tradefmen’s parts againtt: your indict ‘and when yoware fent to buy anything, never of- fer to cheapen it, ‘but generoufly pay the full des mand.‘ “This is highly. to’ your. mafter’s honour; and may be fome fhillings in your pocket; and you ‘areto-confider,; if your mafter has paid too much, he can better afford the lofs than a poor tradefman. “Never fubmit to {tira finger in any bufinefs, but that for-which you were particularly hired. For example, if the groom be drunk, or abfent, ‘and “the butler be ordered to fhut the {table- door, the anfwer-is ready, An pleafe your honour I don’t under{tand horfes. .If a corner of the hangings wants a fingle nail to: faften it, and the footman be diref&ted to tack it up, he may fay, he doth not underftand that fort of work, but his honour" may fend for the upholfterer. ~- Mafters and ladies are ufually quarrelling with the fervants for not fhutting the doors after them: _ ‘for neither mafters nor ladies confider, that thofe a a muft'be open before they can be fhut, and B2 the in 4 | RULES THAT CONCERN the labour is double to open and fhut the doors 3 therefore the beft, the fhorteft, and eafieft: way is todo neither. But if you-are fo often teized to fhut the door, that you cannot eafily ferget; then — give the door fuch a clap as you go out, as will dhake the whole room, and make every thing rattle in it, to put your mafter and.lady in mind that you obferve their direCtions. RAL derr If you find yourfelf to grow in favour with your matter or lady, take fome opportunity in a very mild way to give them warning; and when they afk the reafon, and feem loth to part with you, anfwer that you would rather live with them than any body elfe, but a poor fervant is not to be blamed if he ftrives to better himfelf ; that fervice 4s no inheritance, that your work is great, and your wages-very fmall.. Upon which, if your mafter hath any generofity, he will add five or ten fhillings a quarter-rather than let you go: but if you are baulked, and have no mind to go off, get 'fome fellow-fervant to tell your matter, that he \ hath prevailed upon you to ftay. | Fes Whatever good bits you can pilfer in the day, Jave them to juncket with your fellow-fervants at night, and take in the butler, provided he will give you drink. | . - Write your own name, and your fweet-heart’s, with the fmoak of a candle, on the roof of the _ kitchen, or the fervants hall, to fhew your learning, | If you are a young fightly fellow, whenever you - whifper your miftrefs at tea-table, run your nofe full in her cheek ; or, if your breath be good, breath full in her face; this 1 have known to have had very good confequences in fome families. Never come till*you have been called three or four times, for none but dogs will come at Pe r ALL SERVANTS IN GENERALE. 5 firtt while’: and when the matter calls, Who's there? no-fervant is bound to come ;, for Who's there is nobody’s name. “When you have broken all your earthen dcvtee ing-veffels below ftairs (which is ufually done in a week), the copper pot will do as well; it can boil milk, heat porridge, hold fmall beer,’ on,‘in cafe of neceflity, ferve for a jordan; therefore apply it indifferently to all thefe ufes; but never wath or feour it, for fear of taking off the tin. - Although you are allowed knives for the fer- vants-hall, at meals, yet you ought to fpare: them,. and make ‘ule only of your matter’s. eae Let it be a conftant rule, that no chair,’ ftook;, er table, in the fervants-hall, or the Kitchens fhall have above three legs, which hath: been: the ancient and con({tant practice in all the families. E ever knew, and is faid to-be founded: upon two rea- fons; firft, to fhew that fervants are ever in ato tering condition ; fecondly, it was thought a point _ of humility, that the fervants chairs and tables fhould have at leaft one leg fewer than thofe of » their mafters. I grant there hath been an exception. to this rule with regard to the cook,. who by old euftom was allowed an eafy chair to "fleep i in after dinner; and yet I have feldom feen them with above three legs. Now this epidemical lamenefs _of fervants chairs is by philofophers imputed to_ “two caufes, which are obferved to make the greateft revolutions in ftates andempires; I mean, love and war. A. ftool, a chair, ora table, i isthe firft weapon. taken up in a general romping or fkirmifh; and af- tera peace, the chairs are apt to fuffer in the con. duct of an amour, the cook being ufually fat and heavy, and the butler a little in drink, | B3 I conld: 6 . RULES THAT CONCERN | 4 _. I could never endure to fee maid fervants fo ' ungenteel as to walk the ftreets with their petti- coats pinned up; it is a foolifh excufe to alledge, their petticoats will be dirty, when they have fo eafy a remedy as to walk three or four times down a clean pair of ftairs after they come home. _ When you ftop to tattle with fome crony fer- _vant,.in the fame ftreet, leave your own ftreet-door open, that you may get in without knocking when youcome back ; otherwife your miftrefs may know you are gone out, and you muft be chidden. _ [do moft earneftly exhort you all to unanimity and concord: but miftake me not: you may quar= ret with each other as much as you pleafe; only ‘always bear in mind, that you have a common enemy, which is. your mafter and lady, and you have a. common caufe to defend, Believe an old practitioner; whoever, out of malice to.a fellow- fervant, carries atale to his matter, thall be ruined by a general confederacy againft him. | vants, both in winter and fummer, is the kitchen: there the grand affairs-‘of the family ought to be confulted; whether they concern the ftable, the dairy, the. pantry, the laundry, the cellar, the nurfery, the dining-room, or my lady’s chamber : there, as in: your own proper clement,: you can © laugh, and fquall, and romp in full fecurity. When any fervant comes home drunk, and cans not appear, you mutt all joinin telling your maf+ ter, that he is gone to*bed very fick; upon which your lady will be fo good-natured, as to order tome comfortable thing for the poor man or maid; When your mafter and lady go abroad together, to dinner, or on a vifit for the evening, you need leave only one fervant in the houfe, unlefs you have a black- The general place for rendezvous for all the fers. / ALL SERVANTS IN. GENERAL... 7% a black-guard boy to anfwer at the door, and ats tend the children if there be any. . Who is to flay at home is.to be determined by long and fhort cuts. andthe ftayer at home may be comforted bya vifit’y from a fweet-heart, without danger of being: caught togethers “Thefe opportunities muft never: be miffed, becaufe they come but fometimes}. and all is fafe enough accu there:i is a fervant in. the- hioufe. - When your mafter or lady comes: - home, aid ® wants a fervant whovhappens to be abroad, your anfwer mult be, that he had but juft that minute ftept out, being fent for by a coufin who was dying. By your matter calls you by name, and you hap- pen to anfwer at the fourth call, you need’ not’ hurry yourfelf;. and if you be chidden:for ftaying, - you may lawfully fay, you came nov fooner, be-- caufe you did not know what you. were calléd for.. . When you are chidden for a fault; as you gov out of the room, and down ftairs,. mutter loud* enough to: be plainly nearE beg will make him: believe you are innocent. “Whoever comes to Jip your ‘matter or lady when they are abroad, never burthen your me-- mory: with the perfon’s name; for, indeed, you have too. many other.things to remember. Befides,.. it isa porter’s bufinefs, and your. mafter’s fault he: does not keep one, and who can remember names? and you will certainly miftake them ; 3 and you: can neither write nor read. If it be poflible, never tell a‘lye to your mafter~ or lady, ° unlefs you’ have fome hopes that they: eannot find it outin lefs than half an hour. When. a fervant is turned off, all his faults muft be told, although mof of them’ were never known by his. maiter or ley; ; and all mifchiefs done by others,. . charge. 8 RULES THAT CONCERN charge to him. [Inftance them]. And when hey afk any of you, why you never acquainted them - before?. the anfwer is, Sir, or Madam, really I was afraid it would make you angry; and befides, erhaps, you might think it was malice in me. here there are little mafters and miffes in a honfe, they are ufually great impediments to the diverfions of the fervants; the only remedy is to’ bribe them with goody goodies, that they may not tell tales to papa and mamma. IT advife you of the fervants, whofe mafter ae in the country, and who expect vales, always to. ftand-rank and file when a. ftranger is taking his . leave, fo that he muft of neceflity pafs between you; and he muft have more confidence or lefs_ money than ufual if any of you let him efcape ; and according as he behaves himfelf, remember t to. treat him the next time he comes. | If you are fent with ready. money to buy any thing at a fhop, and happen at that time to be out of pocket, fink the money, and take up-the goods on your mafter’s account. This is for the honour of your mafter and yourfelf; for he. _becomeés a man of credit at oe recommendation. _When your lady fends for you up to her chars ber to give you any orders, be fure to ftand at the. door, and keep it open, fiddling with the lock all the while the is talking to you; and keep the but- ton in your hand, for fear you fhould forget to {hut the door after you. . If your mafter or lady happen once in their lives to accufe you wrongfully, you are a happy fer- vant ;/for you have nothing more to do, than, for every fault youcommit while you are in their fer- tS to one them in mind of that tale ritacaaj ten , an ALL SERVANTS IN GENERAL. 9 and proteft yourfelf equally innocent in the pre- — fent cafe. . 3 . When you have a mind to leave your mafter, and are too bafhful to break the matter for fear of offending him, the beft way is. to grow. rude and faucy of a fudden, and beyond your ufual be~’ haviour, till he finds it. neceffary to turn you off ; and when you are gone, to revenge yourfelf, give him and his lady fuch a character to all your brother-fervants who are out of place, that none will venture to offer their fervice. | Some nice ladies, who are afraid of. catching cold having obferved that the maids and fellows below ftairs often forget to fhut the door after them, as they come in, or go out into the back yards, have contrived that a pulley and a rope, with a large piece of lead at the end,. fhould be fo fixt,.as to make the door fhut of itfelf, and re« quire a ftrong hand to open it, which is an im- menfe toil to fervants, whofe bufinefs may force | them to go in and out fifty times in a morning: but ingenuity.can do much, for prudent fervants have found out an-effectual remedy againft this in- fupportable grievance,. by tying up the pulley in fuch a manner, that the weight of lead fhall have no effect; however, as to my. own part, I would rather chufe to keep the door always open, by laying a heavy ftone at the bottom of it, _ The fervants candlefticks are generally broken, for nothing can laft for ever. But you may find out many expedients; you may coveniently ftick your candle in a bottle, or with a lump of butter again{t the wainfcot, in a powder-horn, or in.an old fhoe, or in a cleft ftick, or in the barrel ofa piltol, or upon its own greafe on a table, in a cof- tee-cup oy a drinking-glafs, a horn-can, a tea-pot, BS a’twilted 7 10 RULES THAT CONCERN)! ' a twifted napkin, a muftard-pot, an ink-horn, a2 marrow-bone, a piece of dough, or you.-may cut a hole in'the loaf, and ftick'it there. = hen you invite the neighbouring fervants to - junket with you at home in an evening, teach them a peculiar way of tapping or fcraping at the kitchen-window, which you may hear, but not your mafter or lady, whom you muft take care not to difturb or frighten at fuch unfeafonable hours 8 808 es mo 118 On . Lay all faults upon a lap-dog, or favourite cat; a monkey, parrot, a childs; or on the fervant who was Jaft turned off: by this rule you will ex- cufe yourfelf, do no hurt to any body elfe; and fave your mafter or lady from the trouble and vexation of chiding. OF BAe Y When you. want proper inftruments for any work you are about, ufe all expedients you. can invent, rather than leave your work undone. For inftance, if the poker be out of the way or bro= _ ken, ftir the fire with the tongs ; if the tongs be not at hand, ufe the muzzle of the bellows, the wrong end of the fire-fhovel, the handle of the fire-brufh, the end of a mop, or your matter’s -eane. If you want paper to finge'a foul, ‘tear . the firft book you fee about the houfe. Wipe your thoes, for want of a clout, with ‘the bottom of a curtain, or a damafk napkin. Strip your livery lace for garters. If the butler wants'a jordan, he may ufe the great filver cup. LE, EOE There are feveral ways of putting out candles, © and you ought to be inftructed in them all:\ you may run the candle-end againft the wainfcot, which puts the fnuff out immediately : you may lay it on the ground, and tread the {nuff out with your foot: you may hold it uplide down, until -it “is 7 choaked ALL SERVANTS IN GENERAL. 11 choaked with its own greafe; or cram it into the focket of the candleftick ;| youw:may whirl it round: in your hand till it goes out : when you go to bed, . after “you! have ‘made water,;. you. may dip the candle-end into the chamber-pet; you may {pit on your finger and thumb, and pinch the fnuff till. it goes out. The cook may:run the candle’s nofe into the meal-tub, or the groom into a vefiel of: oats, or a lock of hay, ora heap of litter: the houfe-maid may’ put her candle out by running it againft a looking-glafs,.which nothing cleans fo. well as candle-fnuff: but the quickeft and beft of all methods is, to blow it out:with your breath, which leaves the candle clear, and readier to be- lighted... ee There is nothing fo pernicious in-a family as a’ tell-tale, againft whom it muft be the principal bu-. finefs of you all.to unite : whatever office he ferves in, take all opportunities to fpoil the bufinefs he is about, and to crofs him in every thing. ‘For inftance, if the butler be a tell-tale, break his glafles whenever. he leaves the pantry-door open ; or lock the cat or the maftiff-in it, who will do as well: miflay a fork or a fpoon, fo as he may never find it.. If it be the cook, whenever fhe turns her,back,: throw a lump of foot or a handful of falt in the pot, .or fmoaking coals into the drip-. ping-pan, or daub the roaft meat with the back of the chimney, or hide the key of the jack. If a footman be fufpected, let the cook daub the back of his new livery ; or when he is going up with a difh of foup, let her follow him foftly with a ladle-full, and dribble it all the way up ftairs to the dining-room ; and then let the houfe-maid make fuch a noife, that her lady may hear it. The waiting-maid is va likely to be guilty. of | 6 | this ad % 12 RULES THAT CONCERN, &.) this fault, in hopes to ingratiate herfelf 4 in this cafe, the laundrefs muft be fure to tearher {mocks in the wafhing, and: yet wafh them but half; and, when fhe complains, tell all the houfe that § fhe {weats fo much, and her flefhy is fo nafty, that. fhe.fouls a fmock more in one hour, than the kitchen-maid doth ina week.» © A ad wey - i : ‘f 4 4 ¥ ay 3 42 on Se PS t 4 . * cake a A Fit ; ¥ ‘ae PL res » y ng gS iA €; ae q n 2 VG ki Weal } rey yh TO. Yad ; “SERVANTS, CHAP. L 3 Direfions to the BUTLER. C my direGions to fervants, I find, from my long obfervation, that you butlers are the principal perfons concerned. Your bufinefs being of the greateft variety, and “requiring the greateft exactnefs, I fhall, as well as I can recollect, run through the feveral branches of your office, and order my inftruCtions accor- dingly. | In waiting at the fide-board, take all poffible care to fave your own trouble, and your mafter’s drinking-glaffes: therefore, firft, fince thofe who dine at the fame table are fuppofed to be friends, let them all drink out of the fame glafs without wafhing, which will fave you much pains, as well as the hazard of breaking them. Give no perfon any liquor until he hath called for it thrice at leaft; by which means, fome out of modefty, and others out of forgetfulnefs, will call the feldomer, and thus your mafter’s liquor be faved. - u DIRECTIONS ‘TO a any one defires a, glafs of pots dale, fir ake t 1e bottle, to fee whether any) pn bé in. it; thentalte it, to fee what liquor itis, that you — may not be miftaken; and laftly, wipe the mouth of the bottle with the palm of your hand, to fhew your cleanlinefs. tig _Be more careful to have the cork in the belly of the battle than in*the pitts Voy 4d, ifthe Cork be | mufty, or white fryers in your liquor, your mafter will fave the more. ee, «Tf an humbte*companion, ‘a chaplain; a tutor). or adependent coufin, happen to be at table, whom you find to be little regarded by the mafter and the company, which nobody is readier to difcoyer and obferve than the fervants, it muft-be the bufi- nefs of you and the footman, to follow the exam- ple of your betters, by treating him many degrees worfe than any, of the reft; and you cannot pleafe your mafter better, or at leaft your lady. If any calls for fmall-beer towards the end of . dinner, do not give yourfelf the pains of going down to the cellar, but gather the droppings and leavings out of the feveral cups and glaffes and falvers into one; but turn your back to the com- pany, for fear of being .obferyed. On the con- trary, when any one calls for ale towards the end © of dinner, fill the Jargeft tankard up top-full, ‘Db which you will have the greateft part left to oblige your fellow-fervants, without the fin of ftealing from your mafter. LN ae aR ee _ There is likewife a perquifite full as honeit, by which you have.a chance of getting every day the beft part of a bottle of wine ir yourfelf ;. for'you are to fuppofe, that gentlefolks wall not care for the remainder of a bottle ; therefore Aaa oe i i & eetth ged € Thlkeg re “THE BUTLER. 45 frefh’ one before them after dinner, although there hath not been above a glafs drunk of the other. | Take fpecial care that your bottles be not mufty before you fill them ; in ordet: to’ which, blow ftrongly into the mouth-of every bottle, and then if you fmell nothing but your own 1 ane imme- | diately fill it. . If you are fent down in hatte to draw aby einde, and find it will not run, do not be at the ardabic of opening a vent, but blow {trongly. into the fof- fet, and you will find it immediately pour into your mouth ; or take out the vent, but do not ftay to pu it in seein for fear your matter fhould want ou. : If you are curious to taite fome of your. irs fion’ s choice bottles, empty as many of them juft below _ the neck as will make the quantity you want ; but then take care to fill them up again with clean water, that you may not leflen your mafter’s liquor. There is an excellent invention. found out of late years in the management of ale and {mall beer at the fide board: for inftance, a gentleman calls for a glafs of ale, and drinks but half; another calls for fmall beer; you immediately turn-out the remainder of the ale into the tankard, and fill the glafs with {mall beer, and fo Kubler a and for- wards, aslong as dinner lafts, by which you anfwer three greatends: Firft, you fave yourfelf the trou- ble of wafhing, and confequently. the danger of breaking your “glafles : Secondly, you are fure not to be miftaken in giving gentlemen the liquor they eall for: And'laftly, by this method, you are cer- tain nothing is loft. Becaufe butlers are apt to forget to bring up their ale and beer time enough, be fure you re- member tohaveup yourstwo hours before ciaeti anc \ io DIRECTIONS ‘TO and place them in the funny part of the room, to ee kate qe that you have not been negligent. _ Some butlers have a way of decanting (as they ~ call it) bottled ale, by which they lofe a good part of the bottom: let your method be to turn the bottle dire@ly upfide down, which will make the liquor appear double the quantity ; by this means, . you will be fure not to lofe one drop, and the : froth will conceal the muddinefs. ae Clean your plate, wipe your knives, and rub the dirty tables, with the napkins and table-cloths — - ufed that day ; for it is but one wafhing, and be- fides it will fave you wearing out the coarfe rub- bers ; and in reward of fuch good hufbandry, my judgement is, that you may lawfully make ufe of the fineft damafk napkins for night-caps for your- felf.... | When you clean your plate, leave the whiting plainly to be feen in all the chinks, for fear your lady fhould not believe you had éleaned it. There is nothing wherein the {kill of a butler more appears, than in the management of can- dies, whereof, although fome part may fall to the fhare of the other fervants, yet you being the principal perfon concerned, I fhall dire& my in- f{truGions upon this article to you only, leaving to your fellow fervants to apply them upon occafions Firft, to avoid burning day-light, and to fave your mafter’s candles, never bring them up till ‘half an hour after it be dark, although they are » called for ever fo often. Mes, Let your fockets be full of greafe to the brim, with the old {nuff at the top, and then itick on frefh candles, It istrue, this may endanger their falling, but the candles will appear fo much the longer, and handfomer before company. At other times, "THE BUTLER. a times, for variety, put your candles loofe in the fockets, and to fhew they are clean to the bottom. When your candle is too big for the focket, - melt it to a right fize in the fire; and-to hide the f{moke, wrap it in paper half way up. You cannot but obferve of late years the great - » €xXtravagance among the gentry, upon the article of candles; which a good butler ought by all means to difcourage, both to fave his own pains and his mafter’s money: this may be contrived feveral ways: efpecially when you are ordered to put candles into the fconces. Sconces are great wafters of candles; and you, who are always to confider the advantage of your mafter, fhould do your utmoft to difcourage them; therefore, your bufinefs muft be to prefs the can- die with both your hands into the focket, fo as to make it lean in fuch a manner, that the greafe may drop all upon the floor, if fome lady’s head- drefs or gentleman’s periwig be not ready to in- tercept it: you may likewife ftick the candle fo. loofe, thatit will fall upon the glafs of the feonce, and break it into fhatters; this will fave your maf> — ter many a fair penny in the year, both in candles and to the glaffman, and yourfelf much labeur ; for the fconces f{poiled cannot be ufed. ie ant Never let the candles burn too low, but-give them as a lawful perquifite, to your friend the cook to inéreafe her kitchen-ftuff; or, if this be not allowed in your houfe, give them in charity to the poor neighbours, who often run‘on your errands. Ma Ma When you cut bread fora toaft, do not ftand idly watching it, but lay iton thecoals,' 2nd mind your other bufinefs; then come back, and if hi , aa + 1 DIRECTIONS FO find it toafted. quite thrones fcrape off. the burnt) fide, and ferve it up. When you drefs up: your Gdesueara. fet the belt. glaffes as near the, edge of the table as you can<: ~ _by which means they will caft a double luftre,. “and make a much finer: figure; and the confe- _ quence can be, at moft, but the breaking of half - a dozen; which is a'trifle in. -your mafter’s pocket, ‘Wath the glaffes with your own ‘water,,to fave you mafter’s falt. o When any. falt is {pilt on the salle, do not let it be loft; but, when dinner is done, fold up the tablecloth pideli the falt init, then fhake the. falt - gut into the falt- cellar,. to: feswe next day: butt fhorteft.and fureft way is, when you. remove ‘the cloth, to.wrap. the knives,. forks, fpoons,.. falt,. ecllar, broken bread, and fcraps of meat altogether in the table-cloth, by. which. you will be fure to lefe nothing, unlefs you think it better to thake: them. out of the window amongft the beggars, that bate may with more convenience eat the {craps. . ” .o beave the. dregs of-wine, ale, and other liquors, in the bottles; to rince them i is but lofs of time,. firice all will, be.done at once.in a, general wath, ing 5 and you will have a better excufe fay break ing thems 4 If your mafter hath many mutty, or very foul and Revie bottles, Tadvife you, in point of con~. fcience, that, thofe may be the fictt. ah truck. at next ale-houfe for ale or brandy. When a meffage is, fent. to your ‘matter, ‘be tind to your brother-fervant who brings it ;. give him the beft liquor in your keeping, for ‘your ‘mat-. ter’s honour; and at the fal PPPORDEY, he wall do the fame to yous... +i cake ” | ~ After . ao THE BUTLER. ! 19 ' After fupper, if it be dark, carry your: plate and china together in the fame bafket, to fave candlelight; for you know. your pantry well enough to put them up in the dark. ! ‘When company is expected at dinner, or in the evening, be fure to be abroad, that nothing may be got which is under your key, by which your maiter will fave his liquor, and not wear out his plate. Ye , ; : I come now to a moft important part of your eeconomy, the bottling of.a hogfhead. of wine, wherein I recommend three virtues, cleanhnefs, frugality, and brotherly love. | Let your corks be of the longeft kind you can get ; which will fave fome wine in the neck of every bottle: as to your Bottles: chufe the {malleft you can) find, which will increafe the number of dozens,’ and: pleafe your mafter ; for a bottle of wine is always a bot- tle of wine, whether it hold more or lefs; and if your mafter hath his proper number of dozens, he cannot complain. hati cst pp yy ere) it Every bottle muft be firft rinced with wine, for fear of any moifture left in the wafhing: fome, out of a miftaken thrift, will rince a dozen bot- — tles with the fame wine; but I would advife you, for more caution, to change the wine at every fecond bottle ; a gill may be enough. Have bot- tles ready by to fave it, and it will be a good peré quifite either to fell or drink with the cook. > Never draw your hogthead too low ; nor tilt it, for fear of difturbing your liquor. When it begins to run flow, and before the wine grows cloudy} fhake the hogfhead, and carry a glafs of it to your _ matter, who will praife you for your difcretion, | and give you all the reft as a perquifite to your place: you may tilt the hogfhead the next day, and 20. DIRECTIONS TO and in a fortnight get a dozen or two of good clear wine, to difpofe of as you pleafe. In bottling wine, fill your mouth full of corks, together with a large plug of tobacco, which will give to the wine the true tafte of the weed, fo de-- Meitink to all good judges in drinking. ’ hen you are ordered to: decant a fufpicious bottle, if a. pint be out, give your hand a dextrous ~ fhake, and fhew it in the glafs,. that it begins to. ‘be muddy. When : a hogfhead of wine or any: other liquor is to be bottled off, wafh your bottles immediately before you begin; but be fure not to:drain them,,. by which good management your mafter will fave fome gallons.in every hogfhead.. * » ‘Fhis is the:time, that, in honour: to- your maf=. rea you ought to fhew your kindnefs to your fel- low-fervants, and efpecially to the cook; for what fignifies a few flagons out of a whole ‘hog- fhead? But make them be drank in your prefence, for fear they fhould be given to other folks, and fo your mafter be wronged: but advife them, if. they: get drunk, to go-to bed, and: leave word they are fick ;, “which laft caution I would have all. the fer- vants obferve, both male and female. If your mafter finds the hogfhead: to fall ‘hort of his expectation, what is plainer,. than that the veflel leaked::: that the wine-cooper had not filled. it in proper time :, that the merchant had cheated him with a hogfhead below the common meafure? ‘When you. are to get water on for tea aft ter dinner (which in many families is. part of. your office), to. fave firing, and: to make more hafte, pour it into the tea-kettle from the pot where cabbage’or fifh have been boiling, eer | ) wi THE BUTLER. 21 will make it much wholfomer, by curing the acid and corroding ‘quality of the tea. Be faving of your candles; and let thofe in the {conces of the hall, the ftairs, and in the lanthorn, burn down into the fockets, until they go out of themfelves; for which your mafter and lady will commend your thriftinefs, as foon as they fhall {mellthe fnuff. | . If a gentleman leaves a fnuff-box or picktooth- cafe on the table after dinner, and goeth away, Jook upon it as part of your vails; for fo it is allowed by all fervants, and you do no wrong to your matter or lady. If you ferve a country ’fquire, when gentlemen and ladies come te dine at your houfe, never fail to make their fervants drunk, and efpecially the coachman, for the honour of your mafter, to which - in all your aGions you mutt have a fpecial regard, as being the beft judge: for the honour of every family is depofited in the hands of the cook, the butler, and the groom, as I fhall hereafter demon- ftrate. _ Snuff the candles at fupper as they {tand on the table, which is much the fecureft way ; becaufe, df the burning {nuff happens to get out of the f{nuf- . fers, you have a chance that it may fall into a difh of foup, fack-poffet, rice-milk, or the like, where it will be immediately extinguifhed with very little ftink. aS When you have fnuffed the candle, always leave the {nuffers open; for the fnuff will of it- felf burn away to afhes, and cannot fall out and dirty the table, when you {nuff the candles again. ‘That the falt may lie fmooth in the falt-cellar, prefs it down with your moift palm. When 22 DIRECTIONS TO “When: a gentleman is going away after’ aha aah your mafter, be fure to ftand full in view; and follow him to the door, and as you have an opportunity look fullin his face, perhaps it may bring you a fhilling ; but if the gentleman hath lain there a night, get the cook, the houfemaid, the ftable' men, the fcullion, and the gardener, to accompany you, and to ftand in his way to the hall in a’line on‘each fide of him: if the gentle- man performs handfomely, it will do him ne : wi and coft your mafter nothing. © You need not wipe your knife to cut bread fo | the table, becaufe in cutting. a flice or twoit will . wipe itfelf. | Put your finger into every: pede to $08¥ wihies ther it be full, which isthe furott ways for siege hath no! fellow. ° ‘When you go down to the: cellar to arat as orfmall beer, take care to obferve diredtly the fol- lowing method; hold the veffel between the finger - and thumb of your tight hand, with the palm up- wards, then hold the candle between your fingers, but a little leaning towards the mouth of the vef- fel; then take out the fpiggot with your left hand, and clap the point of it in your mouth, and: keep our Jeft -hand'to watch accidents ; wollen the. vef- fel i is full, withdraw the {piggot from your mouth, well wetted with fpittle, which being of a flimy confiftence will make it fiick fafter in the foffet : if any tallow drops into the veffel you may. eafily (if you think of it) remove it with a fpoon, or rather with your finger. Always lock up a‘cat in the -clolet where you _ keep your-china plates, for fear the mice may fteal an and break them, A good "THE BUTLER. | 28 A good butler always breaks off the ‘point of his botttle-ferew an two days, by trying which is the’: hardeft, the point of the {crew, or the neck of the bettle ; ; in this cafe, to fupply the want of a ferew, after the ftump had torn the cork in pieces, make ufe of a filver fork; and when the {craps of the cork are almoft drawn out, flirt the anouth of the’bottle ‘into. the ciftern three or four times, untilyou quite clear it. Tf’a gentleman dines. often swith’ your matter, -and gives you ‘nothing when ‘he goes away, you may ufe feveral oO to fhew him fome. marks of your difpleafure, and quicken hismemory ; if he calls for bread or drink, you may pretend not » to hear, or fend it to: another who called after him" if he aiks for wine, let him ftay-a'while, and -then fend him ‘mall -beer ; give. him, always foul *giaffes ; fend him a fpdon when he wants.aiknife; wink at the footman to leave him withouta plate: by thefe, and the like expedients, you may pro- ‘bably be a-better man by half a crown before he eaves the houfe, provided you watch an: opportu- nity. of ftanding, when he‘is ‘going: — » _ Tf your lady loves play.’ your Mowténe is. fixed forever! moderate gaming willbe a-perquifite of ten ‘fhiflings a week; and in fuch a'family I would rather’chufe to. be butler than chaplain, or even rather ‘than fleward ; ‘it is all ready money, -and got without Sagan unlefs your lady happens to be otie of thofe, who either obligeth you to find “wax Candles, or forceth you ‘to divide it with ‘fome favourite fervants; but at worlt, the old ‘cards are your ‘own ; pe if the eamefters play deep ' ‘or grow peeviih, they will change the cards fo often, that the 6ld‘ones will bea confiderable -advantage ‘by felling them to coffee-houfes, or fe milies 24 DIRECTIONS TO > milies who love play, but cannot afford better than cards at fecond-harid. . When you attend at the fervice, be fure to leave new packs with- in the reach of the gamefters, which thofe who have ill luck will readily take to change their fortune; and now and then an old pack mingled with the reft will eafily pafs.. Be fure to be very _ officious on play nights, and ready with your candles to light out your company, and have fal-. vers of wine at hand to give them when they call ; but manage fo with the cook, that there be no - fupper, becaufe it will be fo much faved in your -maftter’s family; and becaufe a fupper will con- fiderably leffen your gains. | bag t aid < say Next to cards, there is nothing fo profitable to you as bottles, in which perquifite you have no competitors, except the footmen, who are apt to {teal and vend them for pots of beer ; but you-are. bound to prevent fuch abufes in your mafter’s fa- mily: the footmen are not to anfwer for what are broken at a general bottling; and thofe may be as many as your difcretion will make them. The profit of glafles is fo very inconfiderable that it 1s hardly worth mentioning; it confifts only in a {mall prefent made by the glaffman, and about four fhillings in the pound added. to the prices fer your trouble and {kill in chufing them. If your mafter hath a large ftock of glaffes, and you or your fellow-fervants happen to break any of them without your mafter’s knowledge, keep ita fecret till there are not enough left to ferve the table, then tell your mafter that the glaffes are gone; this will be but one vexation to him, which is much better than fretting once or twice a week ; and it is the office of a good fervant to difcompofe his mafter and his lady as feldom as he can; and | here ¥ " v THE BUTLER. 29 here the cat and dog will be of great ufe to take the blame from you: Note, that bottles miffing. are fuppofed.to be half ftolen by ftragelers and other fervants, and the other half broken by ac- cident andia general wafhing. . - i: .: _Whet the backs of your knives until they are as fharp as the edge, which will have this advantage, that when gentlemen find them blunt on one fide, they may,try-the,other ; and to fhew you {pare no pains in fharpening the knives, whet them fo long, till you wear-out,a good part of the iron, and/eyen the bottom: of the filver handle. This ~ doth credit to your matter, for it fhews good houfe- . keeping; and the goldfmith may one day make you a prefent. ear hay: . Yourlady, whenvythe finds the fmall beer or ale dead; will blame you for not remembering to put the peg intothe vent-hole. This isa great mit take, nothing being plainer, than that the peg keeps the air in the veflel, which fpoils the drink, and-therefore ought to be letiout; but if fhe in- difts upon it, to prevent the trouble of pulling out the vent, and putting itin a dozen times a day, which is,not to be born by .a good fervant, leave the fpiggot-half out at night,.and you will find with only the lofs.ef two orthree quarts of lie -quor, the veffel will run freely. ‘When you prepare your candles, wrap them ' jn a piece of brown.-paper, and fo ftick them inte the focket: let the paper come half way up the -candle, which looks handfome, if any body fhould come in. Dorall in the dark, to fave your mafter’s can- @lesiyiic | ie) CHAP, - 88 DIRECTIONS TG. : . * tevin ‘CHAP. ; IT. rrovt at he ae “@ ay ih eas AF, ide alia ieig EN Mii ake eee ' Directions ro tHE COOK, LTHOUGH [am not ignorant, thatit hatly {-& been a long time fince the cuftom* began © -among people of quality to keep men cooks, and — ‘generally of the Arench nation: yet becaufe my’ treatife 1s chiefly calculated. for the general’run of ‘knights, “{quires, and gentlemen both in town’ and country, I fhall therefore apply to-you, Mrs. ook, as a woman; however,''a great’ part of: ahat ‘I intend may’ferve for either fex: and your’ part naturally follows the former; ‘becanfe' the ‘butler and you are joined in intereft;\‘your vails. are generally equal, ‘and paid-when’ others are - difappointed; you can ‘junket together at’nights' ‘upon your own prog, when the reft' of ‘the houfe are a-bed ; and’have it''in your power to make every fellow-fervant your friend; you'can givea good bit or a good fup to the little ‘mafters’ and aniffes, and gain their affections; ‘a quarrel be-~ tween you Is very dangerous to you both, and’will probably end in one of you being turned off; in which fatal cafe, perhaps, it will not be foeafy in’ fome time to cotton with another. And now,’ Mrs. Cook, I proceed to give you my inftru@ions, which I defire you will get fome fellow-fervant in. the family to read to you conftantly one night in’ every week when you are going to bed, whether’ -you ferve in town or country, for my Jleffons thal} be fitted for both. : RTE es - If your lady forgets’ at fupper, that there is any cold meat in the houfe, do not you be fo officious: as to put her in mind of it; it 1s plain fhe did not want it; and if fhe recolledts it the next day, fay fhe gave you no orders, and it is {pent.; wi ark : Or THE COOK. ro forfear of telling a lye, difpofe of it with the but- ler, or any other crony, before you go to bed. Never fend up a leg-of a fowl at fupper, while . ‘there is.a-cat.or a dog in the houfe, that can be accufed for running away with it: but if there happen to be neither, you muft lay it upon the ‘rats, or a {trange grey-hound. | ‘ It is ill houfewifery to foulyour kitchen rubbers — with wiping the bottoms of the difhes you fend — up, fince the table-cloth will do as well :and ts ‘changed every meal. : Never clean your {pits after they have been vufed; for the greafe left uponthem ‘by meat is the beft thing to preferve them from.ruft; and *when you make'ufe of them again, the fame greafe — will keep the infide of the meat moift. If-you live in a rich family, roafting and boil- ing are’below the dignity of your office, and which it becomes you to be ighorant of ; therefore leave “that work wholly to the kitchen-wench, ‘for fear -of difgracing the family you live in. If you are employed in marketing, buy your meat as.cheap as you-can, but when you bring in “your accounts, be tender of your mafter’s honour, and fet down the higheft rate; which, befides, is ‘but juftice, for nobody can afford «to fell at the fame rate that he buys, and 1 am confident that _-you may charge fafely; fwear that you-gave no more than what the butcher and poulterer afked. If your lady orders»you to.fet up a piece of meat for fupper, you are not to underftand that you muft fet it up:all; therefore, you may give:half to yourfelf-and the butler. Good cooks cannot abide what they juftly.call ‘fiddling work, where.abundance of time is fpent _and little done: fuch, for inftance, is the drefling -offmall birds, requiring a world of cookery and . 2 clutter, ey é 28 DIRECTIONS TO clutter, anda fecond or third {pit, which by the way is abfolutely needlefs; for it willbe a very ridiculous thing indeed, if a {pit which is ftrong | - enough to turn a firloin ‘of beef, fhould not be — _able to turn a lark; however, if your lady be nice, and is afraid that a large {pit will tear them, place them handfomely in the dripping-pan, where the fat of roafted mutton or beef falling on the birds will ferve to bafte them, and fo fave both time and butter: for what cook of any ‘fpirit would lofe her time in picking larks, wheat-ears, ~ and other finall birds? Therefore, if you cannot get the maids, or the young mifles to aflift you, e’en make fhort work, and either finge or flay them; there’is no great lofs in the fins, and the Heth is juft the fame. if you are employed in cues do not accept a treat of a beef-{ftake anda pot of ale from the butcher, which I think in confcience is no better than wronging your matter ; but do you always take that perquifite in money if you do not go in truft,-or in poundage when you pay the bills. The kitchen bellows being ufually out of order with ftirring the fire with the muzzle to fave the ‘tongs and poker, borrow the bellows out of your. lady’ s bed-chamber, which, being leaft ufed, are commonly the beft in the houfe ; ; and if you hap- pen to damage or greafe them, you havea chance to have them left entirely for your own:ufe.: Let a black-guard boy be always about the houfe to fendon your errands, and go to market for you | on rainy days, which will fave your cloaths, and _ make you appear more creditable to your miftrefs. If your miitrefs allows you the kitchen-ftuff, in- return of her generofity take care to boil and 3 roa{t your meat fufficiently. If fhe keeps it for her\ own. profit, oe her juitice, and, rather, than ; let Mam COOR NA. ee. let a good fire Be wanting, enliven it now and then with the dripping, and the butter that happens to turn to oil. Send up your-meat well ftuck with fkewers, to make it look round and plump; and an irom fkewer rightly employed now and them will make | it look handfomer. When you roaft a long joint of meat, be cares ful only about the middle, and leave the two ex- treme parts raw, which may ferve another time, and will alfo fave firing. When you fcour your plates and difhes, bend the brim inwards, fo. as to make them. hold the more. Always keep a large fire in the Euaherk when there is a fmall dinner, or the. family dines abroad,, that the. neighbours, feeing the {moak, may com- mend your mafter’s houfe-keeping: "but, when * much company is invited, then be as fparing as poflible of your coals, becaufe a great deal of the meat, being half raw, will be faved, and ferve next day. Boil your meat conftantly in pump water, be- caufe you muft fometimes want river or pipe ‘wa~ ter; and then your miftrefs, obferving your meat , of a dMveint colour, will chide hbo. when you are not in fault. When you have plenty of rah in the larder, leave the door open, in pity to the poor cat, if fhe - be a good moufer.. ) If you find it neceflary to go to market in a wet |, day,take out your miftrefs’s riding-hood and cloak,, ’ to fave your cloaths. Get three or four chair-women to attend you conftantly in the kitchen, whom you pay at fmall charges, only with the broken meat, a , coals, -and all the cinders. C3 To oO ~ DIRECTIONS TO: To keep troublefome fervants out of tlie ie chen, always leave the winder Hering on the jack,. to fall on their heads. ; Ifa lump of foot falls into the foup, and you cannot conveniently. get it out, ftir it well, and it will give the foup a high French talfte. If you melt your butter to oil, be underno con- cern, but fend it up; for oil. is a gentecker, fauce than butter. _ Scrape the bottoms of your pots ied aude write a filver fpoon, 40m feet of. giving them a. tafte of. copper. When you fend up butter for fauce, be fo thf re ty as to let it be half water; which is alfo muck wholefomer. ‘If your butter,. tess it is, ancleetl: taftes of eat it is your mafter’s fault,, who pepsi notoallow you a filver fauce-pan ;. befides, the lefsof it will go farther, and new tinning is, very,chargeable: if you have a filver fauce-pan, and the butter fmells. of fmoke, lay the fault upon the coals. Never make ufe of a fpoon in any thing that you can do with, your hands,. for fean of pening: out your matter’s plate... ; When. you find that, you cannot get, dinner _ready at the time appointed, put the clock Bark. and then it may be ready toa minute. , _ Let a red-Hot coal now and thén,fall into he Aripping-pan; that the fmoak of the drip- ping may afcend, and give the. roaft meat-a: high. , talte,. You are to look upon the kitchen as yourrdref.. fing-room ; but you are not to wath your -hands, till you have gone to the .neceflary-houfe, and: {pitted your meat, trifled your fowl, picked your falad, nor indeed till after you have fent up your . fecond courfe: for your nae will been times. fouler “THE COOK.. SE fouler with the many things you are forced to handle; but when your work is over, one wafh- ing will ferve for all. ; : "There is but one part of your dreffing that F would admit while the victuals are boiling, roaft-_ ing, or ftewing; I mean, the combing your head,. which lofeth no time, becaufe you ftand over ‘your cookery, and watch it with one hand, while ‘you are ufing the comb with the other.- - Tf any of the combings happen to be fent up- with the victuals, you may fafely lay the fault up- on any of the footmen that hath vexed you:. as: thofe gentlemen are fometimes apt-to be mali- cious, if you refufe them a fop in the pan, or a flice from the fpit, much more when you difcharge a: Jaddle-full of hot porridge on their legs, ‘or fend’ thein up to their maiters with a difh-clout pinned at their tail. : | ‘In roafting and boiling,’ order the kitchen-- maid to bring none but the large coals, and fave: the fmall-ones for the fires above ftairs: the firft: “are propereft for dreffing meat; and when they” - ‘are out, if you happen to mifcarry in any difh, *you may fairly lay the fault upon want of coals 3. ‘befides, the cinder-pickers will be fure to fpeak. Hi of your mafter’s houfe-keeping, where they do not find plenty of large ‘cinders mixt with frefh Yarge coals: thus you may drefs your meat with credit, do an act’ of charity, raife the honour ray ah your mafter, and fometimes get fhare of a pot of ale for your bounty to the cinder-woman. } As foon as you have fent up the fecond courfe, you have nothing to do (ina great family) until - fupper: therefore fcour your hands and face, put “on, your hood and fcarf, and take your pleafure ‘atnong your cronies, till nine or ten at night—but dine firft. or C4 Let 32 + + DIREGHIONS: TO Let fiers cn always a ftri& friendthip between you and the butler, for it is both your. interefts to be united: the butler often’ wants a comfortable tit-bit, and you much oftener a Be cup of good liquor. ~ However, be-cautious of shim, for he i As fometimes an inconftant lover 5 becaufe he hath ' great advantage to allure the maids with a glafs ad fack, or white-wine and fugar.. “When you roaft a breaft of veal , remember‘ your ; fweet-heart the butler loves a fweet- bread ; there: fore fet it afide till evening; you can fay, the cat or the dog has run away with it, or you found it tainted or fly-blown; ; and befides, it looks as well at the table without it, |. When you make the company wait Re for dinner, and the meat be over-done,, which is ge- ~ nerally the cafe, you may lawfully Jay the fault. upon your lady, who hurried you to fend up dine ner, that you was forced to fend it up too muc boiled or roafted. If your dinner miftarries in ‘almott. pre dith, how could you help it? You.were teazed. by 1 the footmen coming into the kitchen; and to prove true, take. occafion to be angry, and throw a ~ Jaddle-full of broth on one or two of their liveries ; befides, Friday and Childermas-day are. two crofs days in the week, and it is impoflible to have good luck on either of them ; therefore on thofe. two days, you have a lawful excufe. Ah When you are in hafte to take down. your ‘dithes, “tip them in fuch a manner, that a dozen-will — fall together upon the drefler, juft ready for your hand. To fave time and trouble, cut your apples and onions with the fame knife ;.and well-bred try love the tafte of an onion in.every, aneaore gid ‘THE: COOK. | 33 Lump three or four pounds of butter together with your hand; then dafh it againftthe wall juft over the drefler, fo as to have it ready to pull by _ pieces as you have occafion for it. If you have a filver fauce-pan for the kitchen. ufe, let me advife. you to batter it well, and keep it always black ; this will be for your mafter’s ho- nour ; for it fhews there has been conftant good _houfe-keeping: and make room for the fauce- pan.by wriggling it on the coals, &c. ! ‘In the fame manner, if you are allowed a: large filver fpoon for the kitchen, let half the bole of it be worn out with continual {craping and ftirring ; ‘and often fay merrily, This fpoon owes my. matter no fervice. ott oe When you fend up a mefs of broth, water-- gruel, or the like, to your mafter in a morning, do not forget, with your thumb and two fingers, to put falt on the fide of the plate; for if you make. ufe of a fpoon, or the end of a knife, there may be danger that the falt would fall, and that would _bea fign.of illluck. Only remember to lick your — thumb and fingers clean, before you offer to.touch. . the falt.. ne CHAP. III- DirEcTIONS TO THESFOOTMAN. . 7 OUR employment, being of a mixt nature, extends to a great variety of bufinefs,; and- you ftand in a fair way of being the favourite of your mafter or miftrefs, or of the young matters and miffes ; you are the fine gentleman of the fa- mily, with whom all the maids are in love. You are fometimes a pattern of drefs to your matter, and fometimeshe is fo to you. You wait at table in.all companies, and confequently have the op- bs ae portunity ; 34 DIRECTIONS ‘TO ‘portunity to fee and know the world, and to un- -derftand men and manners’: I confefs, your vails _ \are but few, unlefs you are fent with aiprefent, or attend the teain the country; butyou are call- ‘ed Mr. inthe neighbourhood, andfometimes pick “up a fortune, perhaps your mafter’s daughter ; and |] have known many of your tribe to have _ good commands in the army. In'town, you have -a feat referved for you in the playhoufe, where you have an opportunity of becoming ‘wits and ‘criticks ; you ‘have no profefled enemy, except the rabble and my Jady’s waiting-woman, who are fometimes apt ‘to call you fkip-kennel. Ihave a true veneration for ‘your office, becaufe I had _once the honour to be one of your order, which oI foolifhly left, by demeaning myfelf with accept- ..ing an employment in the cuitom-houfe. But that you, my brethren, may come to better for- tunes, [ fhall here deliver my inftructions, which have been the fruits of much thought and obferva- tion, as well as of feven-years experience. In order’to learn ‘the fecrets of other families, tell them .thofe.of your mafter’s; thus you will grow a favourite both at home and abroad, and be regarded as a perfon of importance. Never be feen in the fireets with a batket or bundle in your hands, and carry nothing but what you can hide in your pocket, otherwife you will difgrace your calling: to-prevent which, always: - retain a black-guard boy tocarry your’ loads ; ‘and if you want’farthings, pay him with a good flice of bread, or fcrap of meat. Let your fhoe-boy clean your own thoes firft, fox fear of fouling the chamber, then let him clean your mafter’s ; keep him on purpofe for that ufe, and to run of errands, and pay him with {craps. When you are fent on an errand, be fure to edge : , ‘ im ‘THE FOOTMAN. — 8 in fome bufinefs of. your own, either to fee your fweet-heart, or drink a pot of ale with fome brother-fervants, which is fo much time clear | gained. : ere ial _ There is a great controverfy, about the moft convenient and genteel way of holding your plate at meals; fome ftick it between the frame and the back of the chair, which is an excellent ex- -pedient, where the make of the chair willallow _ it: others, for fear the plate fhould fall, grafp it fo firmly, that their thumb reacheth to the middle | of the hollow; which, however, if your thumb ‘be dry, is no fecure method; and therefore in Athat cafe, I advife your wetting the ball of it with jyour tongue. | He es ra AE SO _ As to that abfurd practice of letting the back of the plate lie leaning on the hollow of your hand, ‘which fome. ladies recommend, it is univerfally exploded, being liable to fo many accidents. — Others again are fo refined, that they hold their ‘plate dire&ly under the left arm-pit, which is the eft fituation for keeping it warm; but this may | -be dangerous in the asticle\of taking away a difh, ~ where your plate may happen to fall upon fome of the company’s heads. I confefs myfelf to have objected againft all thefe ways, which I have fre- quently tried; and therefore I recommend a tourth, which is to ftick your plate, up to the rim inclufive, in the left fide between your waiftcoat and your fhirt: this will keep it at leaft as warm as under your arm-pit, or ockiter (as the Scots call it); this will hide it, foas ftrangers may take you fora better fervant, too good to hold a plate; __ this will fecure it from falling ; and, thus difpof- ed, it lies ready for you to whip out in a moment _ready warmed, to any gueft within your reach, who may. wantit. And laftly, there is another C6 convenience eae DIRECTIONS TO conveniencé in this method; that if, any ‘hme dak. . ring your waiting, you find yourfelf going to cough or {neeze, you can immediately fnatch out the - plate, and hold the hollow part clofe to your nofe or mouth, and thus prevent f{pirting any moifture from either, upon the difhes or the ladies head. drefs: you fee gentlemen and ladies obferve-a like practice on fuch an. occafion, witha hat or hands. kerchief; yet a plate’is lefs fouled, and: fooner cleaned, than either of 'thefe ; for: when ‘your. cough or fneeze is over, it is but returning your late to the fame pofition, and your fhirt will: clean _itin the paflage. Take off the largeft difhes and fet them: on With one hand, ‘to fhew the ladies your vigour ‘and ftrength of back; but always ‘do it between ‘two ladies, that, if the difh happens to flip, ‘the foup or fauce may fall on their cloaths, and not daub the floor ; by this praGtice, two of our brethren, | - ‘my worthy friends, got ‘confiderable fortunes. : Learn all the new-fafhion words, and oaths, and fongs; and {craps of plays, that your memory:can hold. ‘Thus you will become the delight of nine ladies in ten,~ and the vers of ninety-nine beaux in a hundred. . ‘Take care, that, at certain periods duritie: iin ner, efpecially when perfons of quality are there, you and your brethren be all out of the room to- gether, by which you. give yourfelves fome eafe from the fatigue of waiting, and at the fame time, leave the company ‘to converfe'more freely, — out being conftrained’by your prefence. When youare fent on a meflage, deliver it in your ewn words, although it be to.a-duke or duchefs, and ‘not in the words of your matter or lady; for how can they underftand what belongs toa meflage as well as ye who have been bred Ane tne * “THE FOOTMAN. "97 the employment? But. never: deliver the anfwer /till it is called for, and then adorn it with your ‘own ftyle. When dinner is done, carry down a great heap of plates to'the kitchen ; and +when you come to’ the head of the ftairs, trundle them all before you: ‘there is not-a more agreeable fight or found, efpe- cially if they be filver, befide the trouble they fave you; and there they will lie ready, near the kit- _chen door, for the {cullion to wafh them. If you are bringing up a joint of meat in adith, --and it falls out of your hand before you get into the dining-room, with the meat on the ground and | ythe fauce fpilled, take up the meatigently, wipe it - with the flap of your coat, then put it again into the difh, and ferve it,up; and when your lady miffes ‘the fauce, tell her, it is to be fent up in’a_ plate by itfelf. i . hen! you carry up a difh of meat, dip your fingers in the fauce, or lick it with your tongue, to try whether it be. good, and fit for your maf- -ter’s table.. - » You’ are the beft judge .of what acquaintance yourlady ought to have; and therefore, if fhe fends you on a meffage of compliment or bufinefs toa family you do not like, deliver the anfwer in fuch a manner as may breed a quarrel between them not tobe reconciled: or, if a footman ‘comes from the fame family on the like errand, turn the anfwer fhe orders you.to deliver in fuch a manner, as the other family may take it for an affront. When you are in lodgings, and no fhoe-boy to | be got, clean your mafter’s ihoes with the bottom of the curtains, a clean napkin, or your landlady’s apron. _ ©, Ever wear your hat in the houfe, but when _your mafter calls; and as foon as you come into | his nrefence, pull it off, to fhew your manners. Never 138 DIRECTIONS TO sk iisel your fhoes on the fcraper, but in ihe entry or at the foot of the ftairs; by which you will have the credit of being at home almoft ‘a minute fooner, and the fcraper will Jaft longer. _. Never afk leave to go abroad, for'then it will be -always known that yeu are. abfent, and you will -be thought an idle rambling fellow ;) whereas, if. you ‘go out and nobody obferves, "you" have “a chance of coming home without being mifledjand you need not tell your fellow-fervants where) “you are gone, for they willbe fure to fay, you were in the houfe but: two..minutes ago, which i is the duty of all fervants. Snuff the candles with your fingers, and distil : the {nuff on the floor; then treadit out, to pre- vent ftinking: this ‘method will very much fave the fnuffers:‘from wearing out. You ought alfo to {nuff them clofe to the tallow, which will make _ them run, and fo increafe the perquifite of the ccok’s kitchen-ftuff; for fhe isthe ai ex you negee in prudence to be well. with. While grace is faying after meat, do you and -your brethren take the chairs from ‘behind the ‘company, fo that, when they go'to fit again, they may fall backwards, which -will amake them all - merry; but be you fo difcreet as to hold your laughter till you get to the kitchen, and then di- vert your fellow-fervants. When you know your mafter is moftt bufy it in company, come in, and pretend to fettle about the room ; and if he chides, fay, you thought he rung othe bell. This will divert him from plodding on bufinefs too much, or fpending himfelfin-talk, or racking his thoughts, all which are hurtful to his : conftitution. If you are ordered to break the claw of a. beats os.a lobiter, clap it between the fides of the dining- 8) soome= CTHE FOOTMAN, (9 “yoom-door, between the hinges: thus you can do ‘it gradually without mafhing the meat, which is often the fate ‘of the ftreet-door key, or the “peftle. its | ~ When you ‘take a foul plate from any of the “guefts, and obferve the foul knife and fork lying ‘on the plate, fhew your dexterity ; take up the ‘plate, and throw off the knife and fork on the ‘table, without fhaking off the ‘bones or broken “meat that are left: then the gueft, who hath more ‘time than you, will wipe the fork and knife al- ‘ready ufed. . When you carry a glafs of liquor to any perfon that hath called tor it, do not bob him on the fhoulder; or cry, Sir, or Madam, here’s the glafs; that would be-unmannerly, as if you had.a mind to force it down’ one’s throat: but ftand at the perfon’s left fhoulder and wait his time; and if he {trikes it down with his elbow by forgetfulnefs, that was his fault, and hot yours. — a When your miftrefs fends you for a hackney | coach in a wet day, come back in the coach, to fave your cloaths and:the trouble of walking; it is better the bottom of her petticoats fhould be draggled with your dirty fhoes, than your livery be {poiled, and yourfelf get a cold. | There is no pecignity fo great to one of your ftation, as that of lighting your mafter in the ftreets with a lanthorn; and therefore it is very honeft policy to try all artshow to evade it: befides, it fhews your mafter to be either poor or covetous, which are the two worft qualities you can meet ’with in any fervice. When I was under thefe circumftances, I made ufe of feveral wife expe- dients, which 1 here recommend ‘to you: fome- times I took a candle fo long, that it reached to the very top of the lanthorn and burned it; but my = ‘40 ' DIRECTIONS TO my mafter, after a good beating, ordered me to paite it over. with paper. I then ufed a middling candle ; but ftuck it fo loofe in the focket, that it leaned towards one fide and burned a whole quar- ter of the horn. Then’I ufeda bit of candle of | half an inch, which funk in the focket, andmelt- » ed the folder, and forced. my mafter.to walk half the way inthe dark. Then he made me. ftick two inches of candle inthe place where the focket was ;. after which I pretended to ftumble, put out- the candle, and broke all the tin part to pieces: at laft, he was forced to make ufe of a lanthorn boy, out of perfect good hufbandry. . rad aae + It is much to be lamented, that gentlemen of our employment have but two hands, to carry plates, difhes, bottles, and the like, out of the room at meals; and the misfortune is ftill the- greater, becaufe one of thofe hands is required to. open the door, while you ‘are encumbered. with. _ your load: therefore I advife, that the door be — always left a-jar, fo as to open with your foot,. and then you may. carry out plates and difhes from your belly up to your chin, befides a good quantity _of things under your. arms, which will fave you. many a weary ftep; but take care that none of the burden falls till you are out of the room, and, if poflible, out of hearing. | . If you are fent to. the polt-office with a letter in a cold rainy night, ftep to the alehoufe and. take a pot, until it is f{uppofed you have done your. errand; but take the next opportunity to put the letter in carefully, as becomes. an honeft fer-. vant. . . | If you are ordered to make. coffee for the ladies after dinner, and the pot happens to boil over while you are running up for a f{poon to ftir it, or think~. ing of fomethinit elfe, or ftruggling with the ees . ser, _ ‘THE FOOTMAN, — Ad ber-maid fora kifs, wipe the fides of the pot clean with a difhclout, carry up your coffee boldly; and when your lady finds it is weak, and examines you whether it has not run over, deny the fact ab- _ folutely; fwear you'put in more’ coffee than ordi- hary; that you.never ftirred an inch fromit; that te. you ftrove to make it better than ufual, becanfe your miftrefs had ladies ‘with ‘her; that the fer- _vants in the kitchen will juftify what you fay: upon this, you will find fhat the other ladies will pronounce your coffee’ to be very good, and your miftrefs will confefs that her mouth is out of tafte, and thd will, for the future, fufpe@’ herfelf, and ‘be more cautious in finding fault. This:I would have you do from a principle of con{cience, for cof- - “fee is very unwholefome ; and out of affection to your lady, you ought to give it heras weak as pof- fible: and, upon this argument, when you havea mind to treat any of the maids with a difh of freth coffee; you may and ought to fubtraé& a third part of the powder, on account of your lady’s health, ‘arid: getting her maids good-will. If your matter fends you with a {mall trifling ‘prefent to one of his friends, be as careful of it as you would be of adiamond ring; therefore, if the prefent be only half‘a dozen pippins, fend up the ‘fervant, who receivedthe meflage, to fay, that you were ordered to deliver them with your own hands. This will fhew your exadétnefs and care to prevent accidents or miftakes; and the gentleman or lady cannot do lefs than give you a fhilling: fo, when your mafter receives the like prefent, teach the meffenger who brings it to do the fame, and give “your matter hints that may ftir up his generofity ; for brother-fervants fhould affift one another, fince it is’ all for their mafter’s honour, which is the » ‘chief A Fervige a anjuryyis) tive Godan oes wh MER, When you take away the:remaining pieces of eav8 Mrawer give you.a-full quart, then you will get a good. fup for, yourfelf, and your bottle will be fl- led... As. for a cork.to ftop, it, you,need ‘be, at .no ,trouble,.for the thumb -will.do.as well, ora bit of dirty. chewed papers}; 6:/: - asap 4? Cae whats , dn all.difputes with chairmen and: coachmen for demanding too muchj'when, your matier fends you down to chaffer with them, take pity of che poor fellows, and tell your matter that they will not take a farthing le{s: it is more for your intereit to get fhare of a pot,of ale, than.to fave a fhilling for _.syour mafter, to whom it is a trifle. , When | ‘THE FOOTMAN. 43 When you attend your lady in a dark night, if the ufeth her coach, do. not walk by the coach __ fide, fo as to tire and dirt yourfelf, but get up in- to your proper place behindit, and fo hold the flambeau floping forward over the coach roof; and when it wants fnuffing, dafh it againit the corners. When you hae your lady at church on Sun- days, you have two hours fafe to fpend with your companions at the alehoufe, or over a beef-fteak and a pot of beer at home with the cook and the maids; and, indeed, poor fervants have fo few _ opportunities to be happy, that ghey uate not to lofe any.. Never wear focks when you wait at seals on account of your own health as well asofthem whe fit at table; ‘becaufe, as moft ladies like the fmelt of young men’s toes, fo it is a fovereign remedy -againft the vapours. Chufe a fervice, if you can, where your livery colours are Meat tawdry-and diftinguiffing : green and yellow immediately betray your office, and fo do all kinds. of lace, except: filver, which. will hardly fall to your fhare, unlefs with a duke or fome prodigal juftcome to his eftate. The'colours you ought to with for, are blue, or filemont turn- ed up with sed; which, with a borrowed fword, a borrowed air, your. matter’s linen, and a natu-~ ral and improved confidence, will give you what title you pleafe, where you are not known. » When:you carry difhes or other things out of the room at meals, fill both your hands as full as poilible; for, although you may fometimes fpill, and fometimes let fall,..yet ‘you ‘will find, at the Enc end, you Gecis made great difpatch, and ved abairickalins ok time.. | If 44 DIRECTIONS TO If. your: mafter or miftrefs happens to walk the ftreets, keep on one fide, and-as much onthe level with them as you can, which people obferving, will either think you do not belong to them, or that you are one of thetr companions; but, if either of them happen to turn back and fpeak to you, fo that you are under the neceflity totake off © your hat, ufe but your thumb and one inget, and feratch your head with the reft. | In winter time, light the dinidae room fire but two minutes before dinner is-ferved up, that your mafter may fee how faving you are of his coals. When you are ordered to ftir up the fire, clean away the ane from betwixt the bars with the. fire oe m, ~ When you are ordarat tocalla . coach, aa it be midnight, go no farther than the door, for fear of being out of the way when you are wanted ; and there ftand bawling, Coach, coach, for. half an hour. * Although you gentlemen in livery have the misfortune to be treated fcurvily by all mankind, ‘ yet you make a fhift to keep up your fpirits ; and fometimes arrive at confiderable fortunes. I was — an intimate friend to one of our brethren, who. was footman to a court lady: fhe had an honour- able employment, was fifter to an earl, and the widow of a man of quality. She obferved fome+ thing fo polite in my friend, the gracefulnefs with which he tript before her chair and put his hair under his hat, that fhe made him: many advances; and one day taking the air in her coach with Tom behind it, the coachman « miftook the way, and {topt at a privileged chapel, where the couple were married, and 77m came home in the chariot by his lady’s fide ; but he unfortunately taught her to drink brandy, ‘of which the died, after having pawned. THE FOOTMAN. 45 ’ pawned all her plate to purchafe it; and Tom is now a journeyman maltiter. } Boucher, the famous gamefter, was another of | our fraternity ; and when he was worth 50,000l. he dunned the duke of Buckingham foran arrear of wages in his fervice; and | could inftance many ‘more, particularly another, whofe fon had one of the chief employments at court ; and is fufficient - to give you the. following advice ; which is, to be pert and faucy to all mankind, efpecially to the chaplain, the waiting-woman, and the better fort . of fervants in a perfon of quality’s family, and value not now and then a kicking, ora caning 3 for your infolence will at laft turn to good account ; and from wearinga livery, you may probably foon carry a pair of colours. When you wait behind a chair at meals, keep conitantly wriggling-the back of the chair, that © the perfon behind whom you ftand may know you are ready to attend them. | When you carry a parcel of china plates, if they © chance to fall, asit is a frequent misfortune, your’ excufe muft be, that a dog ran acrofs you in the hall; that the chamber-maid accidently pufhed the door again{t you ; that a mop ftood acrofs the entry and tript you up: that your fleeve ftuck! againit the key, or button of the lock. | When your matter and lady are talking together _ in their bed-chamber, and you have fome ‘fufpi- cion that'you or your fellow-{ervants are concern- _ edin what they fay, liften at the door, for the pub- lic good of aJl the fervants; and join allto take proper meafures for preventing any innovations that may hurt the community. - Be not proudin profperity : you have heard that Fortune turns on a wheel; it you have a good place, you are at the top of the wheel. Necate er 4...” DIRECTIONS TO" ber how often. you have been ftripped and! kicked out of doors, your wages all taken.up before-hand, and {pent in: tranflated red-heeled thoes, fecond- hand toupses, and repaired lace ruffles, belides {winging debt to the ale-wife and the brandy- - fhop. The neighbouring. tapfter, who before» could beckon you over to afavoury bit of ox-cheek: in the morning, give it you graus, and only {core youup for the liquor, immediately after you were packed off in difgrace, carried a, petition to your matter, ta be: paid out: of your wages, whereof » nota farthing was due, and then purfued you with. bailiffs anto every blind.cellar.. Remember how joon you grew thabby, thread~bare, and out-- at-heels; was forced to borrow an old livery-coat, to make your appearance while you were looking for a place; and {neak to,every houfe, where you have an old acquaintance, to fteal youa ferap to keep life and ionl together 5 and, upon the whole, were in the loweft {tation of Riga. life, which, asthe old ballad fays, 1s that of a fkip-kennel tase out of place; I fay, remember all this now in your flourifhing condition. Pay your contributions duly to your late brothers-the cadets, who are left tothe wide world: take one of them as your de- pendent, to fend.on your lady’s meflages when yow have a mind to go to the ale-houfe: “flip him out: privately now and then a flice of bread anda bit — of cold meat; your matter can afford tj) andy + 18. he be not yet upon the eltablifhment for a lodging:, let him lie in. the ftable, or the coach-houfe, or: under the back-flairs ; and recommend him to all the gentlemen who frequent yout houfe, .as an eX~ cellent fervant. ¥ To grow old in the office fe footman; - is the higheft, of all indignities: therefore, when you. find years coming on without hopes of a place at) court, t ‘THE FOOTMAN. 47 MR a Pe OO ay eee bik | court, a command in the army, a fucceffion to the {tewardfhip, an employment in the revenue (which: two laftyou cannot obtain without reading and writ-: ing), of ruthing away with your mafter’s niece or -daughter ; I direétly advife you to go upon the road, which is the only poft of honour left you: there you will meet many of your old comrades, and livea fhort) life and a merry one, and makea figure at your exit, wherein I will give you fome inftru@ions. mod ¥ "Lhe laft advice I give you, relates to your be-. haviour when you are going to be hanged; which, either for robbing your mafter, for houfe-break- ing, or going upon the highway, or‘in a drunken. quarrel by killing the firft man you meet, may very probably be your lot, and is owing to onc of thefe three quatities'; either a love of good jellow-. The a generofity of mind, or too much vivacity of fpirits. Your good behaviour on this article will concern your whole’ community: deny the fa& with all folemnity of imprecations: a hun- dred of your brethren, if they can be admitted, will attend about the bar, and be ready, upon de- amand, to give you a good charaéter before the court: let nothing prevail on you to confefs, but the promife ofa pardon for difcovering your com- radesz but I fuppofe all this to be in vain, for if you efcape now, your fate will be the fame ano-. ther day. Geta fpeech to be written by the belt author of Newgate ; {ome of your kind wenches will provide you with a~ Holland fhirt, and white cap, crowned with a crimfon or black ribbon: take leave cheariully of all your friends in’ New-~ gate; mount the cart with courage ; “fall on your knees; litt up your eyes; hold a book in your hands, although you cannot read aword; deny the fact at the gallows; kifs and forgive the hang- mii ee man, 48 ~~ +~DIRECTIONS TO - man, and fo farewel: you. fhall. we buried. in. pomp, at the charge of a fraternity ; the for- geons fhall not touch a limb of you; and your, — fame fhall continue until a fuccet flor af ean re- nown fucceeds in your plates - u: ¢ a ‘ i . l : _CHAP., IW. 2 : Denben vein TO ‘THE COACHMAN, | OU are ftri@ly bound to nothing;. but to. \ {tep into the box, ang carry NIUE 4 matter or. lady. Let your horfes be fo wall trained, “that. hee youattend your lady at a vifit, they will wait until you flip intoa neigbouring, ale- houfe to take a pot. with a friend, | When you are in no “humour to “drive, ‘tell your, mafter that the horfes have got a cold, that they want fhoeing, that rain does them. hurt, and roughens their coat, and rots the harnefs. This may likewife be applied to the groom. . If your mafter dines with a country friend, drink as much as you can get; becaufe it is al- _ lowed, that a good coachman never drives fo well ~ as when he is. drunk; and then fhew your {kill, by driving to an inch by a precipice ;. and aby you never drive fo well as.when drunk. | | If you find any gentleman fond of ¢ one “of. your, horfes, and willing to give you a confideration befide the price; perfuade your mafter to, fell. him, becaufe he is fo vicious that you cannot un- dertake to drive with him, and is foundered. into , the bargain. «7 Geta black-guard. boy. to watch your coach at. . the church- door on Sundays, that you and. your, brother coachmen may be merry together at the: ale- Reuss while JOUR matter and lady are aleve ake THE GROOM. 49° ale-houfe, while your mafter and lady are at ‘church, Take care that your wheels be good; and get a new fett bought as often as you can, whether you are allowed the old as your perquifite or not: in one cafe, it will turn to your honeft profit; and in the other, it will be a juft punifhment on your mafter’s covetoufnefs; and probably the coach- maker will confider you too. : ACHAP. V. | Directions To THE GROOM. OU are the fervant upon whom the care of your mafter’s honour in all journeys entire~ jy depends ; your breaft is the fole repofitory of it. If he travels the country, and lodgeth at inns, every dram of brandy, every pot of ale extraordi- mary that you drink, raifeth his character; and- therefore his reputation ought to be dear to you; and I hope. you will-not ftint yourfelf in either. The fmith, the fadler’s journeyman, the cook at the inn, the oftler, and the boot-catcher, ought:all, by your means, to partake of your mafter’s gene- ‘rofity: thus his fame will-reach from one country to another; and what is.a gallon of-ale, or-a pint of brandy, in his worfhip’s pocket? And, although the fhould be in the number of thofe who value ‘their credit lefs than their;purfe, yet your care of - the.former ought to be fo much the greater. His horfe wanted two removes; your horfe wanted nails; hisallowance of oats and beans was greater than the journey required ; a third part may be retrenched, and turned into ale or brandy ; and © thus his honour may be preferved by your difcre- tion, and lefsexpence to him; or, if he travels . D with 60. - DIRECTIONS TO «= with no other fervant, the matter is eafily made up in the bill between you and the tapfter. . _ Therefore, asfoon as you alight at the inn, de- diver your horfes to the ftable-boy, and let him | gallop them to the next pond ; then call for a pot of ale, for it is very fit that a Chriftian fhould drink before a beaft. Leave your mafter to the are of the fervants in the inn, and your horfe to - thofein the ftable: thus beth he and they are left - inthe propereft hands; but you are to provide for yourfelf; therefore get your fupper, drink freely, and go to bed without troubling your mafter, whe is in better hands than yours. ‘The ofther is an — honeft fellow, and loves horfes in his heart; and avould not wrong the dumb creatures for the world. Be tender of your mafter, and order the _ fervants not to wake him too early. Get your. breakfaft before he is up, that he may not wait for you; make the oftler tell him the reads are _ very good, and the miles fhort ; but advife him to {tay a-little longer till the weather clears up, for he is afraid there will be rain, and he will be time enough after dinner, Jet your mafter mount before you, out of good manners. As he is leaving the inn, drop a good word in favour of the oftler, what care he took of the cattle: and add, that you never faw civiler fer- vants. Let your matter ride on before, and do you flay until your landlord has given you‘a dram: then gallop after him through the town or village with full {peed, for fear he fhould want you, and to fhew your horfemanfhip. | If you are a piece of a farrier, as every good groom ought to be, get fack, brandy, ‘or {trong beer to rub your. horfes heels every night; and be not fparing, for (if any be fpent) what is left you know how to difpofe it. . ‘ Confider THE GROOM. ee ey 4 ‘Confider your mafter’s health ; and, rather than let him take long journeys, fay the cattle are weak, and fallen in their flefh with hard riding; tell him of a very good inn five miles nearer than he intended to go; or leave one of his horfe’s fore- fhoes loofe in the mornings; or contrive that the _ faddle may pinch the beaft in his withers: or keep - him without corn all night and morning, fo that he may tire on the road; or wedge a thin plate of iron between the hoof and the fhoe, to make him halt; and all thisin perfeét tendernefs to your matter. | hen you are going to be hired, and the gentle- man afks you, Whether youare apt to get drunk? © own freely, that you love.a:cup of good ale; but’ that it is your way, drunk or fober, never to neg- le& your horfes. . When your mafter hath a mind to ride out for the air or for pleafure, if any private bufinefs of your own makes it inconvenient for you to attend him, give him to underitand, that the horfes want bleeding or purging, that his own pad has gota furfeit; or that the faddle wants ftuffing, and his bridle is:gone to be mended: this you may ho- neltly do, becaufe it will be no injury to the horfes or your mafter; and at the fame time fhews the great care you have of the poor dumb creatures. If there be a particular inn in the town whither. you are going, and where you are well acquainted with the oitler or tapfter and the people of the houfe, find fault with the other inns, and recom- mend your matter thither ; it may probably be a pot or a dram or two more.in your way, and to your mafter’s honour. If your mafter fends you to buy hay, deal with thofe who will be the moft liberal to you; for, fervice being no inheritance,.you ought not to let D2 flip 2 ° \DIRECTIONS TO Dip any lawful and cuftomary perquifite. If your matter buys it himfelf, he wrongs you; and, to ‘teach him his duty, be fure to find fault with the chay as long as it lafts; and if the horfes thrive “with it, the fault is-yours. ‘Hay and oats, in the management of a fkilful 7 groom, will make excellent ale,as well as bran- dy; butthis I only hint. ; es When your matter dines or liesat a gentleman’s ‘houfe in the country, although there be no groom, «or he:be gone abroad, or that the horfes have been ~ «quite neglected, ‘be fure employ fome of the fer- -vants to-hold the horfe when your.mafter mounts. ‘This I would have you do, when your matter only alights to.call in for a few minutes: for brother fervants muft always ‘befriend one another, and that alfo.concerns your mafter’s honour ; becaufe the cannot do lefs than give a piece of money to shim who holds his horfe. In long journeys, afk your mafter leave to give ‘ale to the horfes; carry two quarts full to the Rable, pour half a pint into a bowl, and, if they -will not drink it, you and the oftler muft. do the ‘belt you can; perhaps they may be in a better ‘humour at the next inn, for 1 would have you ‘mever failto make the experiment. _ + Ra When-you go to air your horfes in the park or | the fields, give them to a horfe-boy, or one of the black-guards, who, being lighter than you, may be trufted to run races with lefs damage to the thorfes, and teach them to leap over hedges and ditches, while you are drinking a friendly pot with your brether grooms: but fometimes you and they may run races yourfelves, for the honour of your horfes and your matters. | “Never ftint your horfes at home in hay and oats, dut fill the ra€k to the top, and the manger the rim, * THE GROOM:| (iti brim, for you would take it ill to be finted’ your= felf; although, perhaps, they may not have the {tomach to eat; confider, they have no tongues: ‘Meatels If the hay be thrown.down, there-is no? lofs, for it will make litter and fave ftraw. : ~ When your mafter is leaving agentleman’s houfe’ im the country where he hath lain a night; thene confider his honour: let him know how many. eth there are of both fexes, who expect vails ;. nd give them their cue toattend in two lines, as he leaves the houfeé; but defire him not to truft: the money: with the butler, for fear he fhould: be cheat the reft. This will force your mafter to: oe = he € more generous; and then you may take occas. tell your mafter, that “{quire fuch a one,. whom you lived with lait, always gave fo much’ _a-piece to the common fav aies: and fo much to- the houfe-keeper and the reft, naming at leaft double to: what he intended. to: give 3 but be fure to tell the fervants what a good office you did’ them : this will gain you love and your matter ho-- nour. You may venture to be diane much oftener: than the coachman, _ Phatever he pretends to al-- ledge in his own behalf, becaufe you hazard no-. body’s neck but your own; for the horfe will probably take fo much care of himfelf, as to come: off with only a {train or a fhoulder- flip. When you carry. your mafter’s. riding-coat in a. journey, wrap your own. init, and buckle them: up clofe with a ftrap, but turn your mafter’s in-- fide out, to preferve the outfide from wet and dirt : thus, when it begins to rain, your matter’s coat: will be firft ready to be given him ; and, if it get more hurt than yours, he can afford it better, for: your livery muft always ferve its year’s apprentice- thip. D3. , When ® Agen 3 5 “vant welcome. 5h DIRECTIONS TO ~ When you come to your inn with the tested wet and dirty after riding, and very hot, make the oftler immediately plunge them into water up to’ their bellies, and allow them to drink as much as they pleafe; but be fure to gallop them full fpeed a mile at leaft, to dry their fkins and warm the | : water in their ‘bellies... The oftler underftands his bufinefs ; leave all to his difcretion, while you get a pot of ale and fome brandy at the kitchen- sei ~ to comfort. your heart. If your horfe drop a fore-fhoe, be fo careful to alight and take it up: then ride with all the fpeed you can (the fhoe in your hand, that io iy gah ths ler may obferve your care) to the next fmith on_ the road; make him put it on immediajely, tha your mafter may not wait for you, and that the poor horfe may be as {hort a time as poflible with- out a fhoe. When your matter lies at a ERE os s houfe,: if you find the hay and oats are good, complain aloud of their badnefs; this will get you the name -of a diligent fervant: and be fure to cram the horfes with as much oats as they can eat while you-are there; and you may give them fo mueh” the lefs for fome days at the inns, and turn the Oats into ale. When you leave the gentleman’s houfe,, tell your mafter what a covetous huncks that gentleman was, that you got nothing but buttermilk or water to drink ;«this’ will make _ your mafter, out of pity, allow. you a pot of ale the more at the next inn: butif you happen to get drunk in a gentleman’s houfe, your mafter cannot be angry, becaufe it coft him nothing: and fo you ought to tell him, as well as you can in your pre- fent condition, and let him know it 1s both for his and the gentleman’ s honour to make a friend’s fer- A ates ae tae ves ut * THE GROOM. — 5B A matter ought always to love his groom, to put himin a handfome livery, and toallow him a filver- laced hat. When you are in this equipage, all the honours he receives on the road are owing to you alone; that he is not turned out of the way by every carrier, is caufed by the civility he receives: ' at fecond hand, from the i gis paid to your li- ver ee may now and then lend your matter’ s pad toa brother fervant or your favourite maid, for a fhort jaunt, or hire him. for a day, becaufe the horfe is fpoiled for want of exercife: and if your mafter happens to want his horfe, or hath a mind: to fee the ftable, curfe that rogue the aed who. “is gone out with the key. When you want to {pend an hour or two with your companions at the ale-houfe, and {tand in need of a reafonable excufe for your ftay, go out of the {table door, or the back way, with an old bridle, girth, or ftirrup-leather in your pocket, and on your’ return home pafs by the ftreet door, with the fame bridle, girth, or ftirrup leather dangling im your _ hand, as if you came from the fadler’s, where you were getting the fame mended. If you are not’ miffed, all is well; but if you are met by your matter, you will have the reputation of a careful fervant. This lL have known practifed with good: fuccefs.. CHAP. VI. Directions To tHe HOUSE-STEWARD, AND LAND-STEWARD. ORD Peterborough's fteward, that pulled’ , down his houfe, fold the materials, and charged my lord with repairs. ‘Take money for | : forbearance from tenants. Renew leafes, and get: sas Pe 56 DIRECTIONS TO get by them, and fell woods. Lend my lord’his — own money. (Gil Blas faid much of this, to whom I refer.) | CHAP. .VEI. a Dinnerions TO THE PORTER. F your mafter be a minifter of ftate, let him be at home to none but his pimp, or chief flat- - terer, or one of his penfionary writers, or his hired {py and informer, or his printer in ordinary, or his city folicitor, or a land-jobber, or his inventor ~ of new funds, ora nee? pimp ov oa CHAP. VIII. DIRECTIONS TO THE CHAMBER- MAID. HE nature of your employment differs, ac- cording to the, quality, the pride, or the wealth of the lady you ferve ; and tHis treatife is — to be applied to all forts of families; fo that I find myfelf under great difficulty to adjuft the bufinefs, for which you are hired. Ina family . where there is.a tolerable eftate, you differ from the houfe-maid; and in that view I give my di- reCtions. Your particular province is your lady’s chamber, where you make the bed and put things in order; and if you live in the country, you take care of rooms, where ladies lie who come into the houfe, which brings in all the vails that fall to your fhare. Your ufual lover, as I take it, is the coachman ; but, if you'are undertwenty, and to- lerably handfome, perhaps a footman may caft his eyes on you. Get your favourite footman to help you in ma- king your lady’s bed; and, if you ferve a young ~ couple, the footman ‘and you, aS you are turning | up ar phe, _ = 2 THE CHAMBER-MAID. 5T up the bed-cloaths, will make the prettieft obfer- vations in the world, which, whifpered about, will be very entertaining to the whole family, and get among the neighbourhood. Do not carry down the neceffary veffels for the fellows to fee, but empty.them out of the win- dow, for your lady’s credit. It is highly impro- per for men-fervants to know that fine ladies have occafion for fuch utenfils; and do not fcour the chamber-pot, becaufe the fmell is wholefome. If you happen to break any china with the top ef the whifk, on the mantle-tree or the cabinet, _ gather up the fragments, put them together as well ‘as you can, and place them behind the reft, fo that - when your lady comes to difcover them, you may fafely fay they were broke long ago, before you came to the fervice. This will fave your lady many an hour’s vexation. — : It fometimes happens, that a looking-glafs is: broken by the fame means; while you are look- ing another way, as you {weep the chamber, the long end of the brufh ftrikes againit the glafs, and. breaks it to fhivers. ‘“Fhis is the extremett of all misfortunes, and all remedy defperate in appear- ance, becaufe it is impoflible to be concealed. Such a fatal accident once happened in.a great family, where I had the honour to be a footman;-and I will relate the particulars, to fhew the ingenuity of: _ the poor chamber-maid on fo fudden and dreadful ' an emergency, which perhaps may help to fharpen your invention, if your evil {tar fhould ever give; you the like occafion. ‘The poor girl had broken alarge japan glafs, of great value, with a ftroke of her brufh: fhe had not confidered long, when, by a prodigious prefence of mind, fhe locked. the door, ftole into the yard, brought a ftone of three pound weight into the chamber, laid it on the hearth . —_ ae 5B iy DIRECTIONS TO hearth suf under the- looking-glafs, then broke x pane in the fafh-window that looked into the fame yard, fo fhut the door, and went about her other affairs. “Iwo hours after, the lady goes into the. chamber, fees the glafs broken, the ftone lying under, anda whole pane in the window deftroyed: from all which circumftances fhe concluded, juft as the maid could have wifhed, that fants idle ftraggler in the neighbourhood, or perhaps one of the out-fervants, had, through malice, accident, or. earelefsnefs, flung in the ftone, and done the mif- chief. “Fhus far all things went well, and the: girl concluded herfelf out oF danger. But it was: her ill fortune that, a few hours after, in came the parfon of the parith, and the lady (naturally) told him the accident, which, you may believe, had «much difcompofed her; but the minifter, who happened to underftand ‘matheinaticks, after examining the fituation of the yard, the window, and the chimney, fvon convinced the lady, that the {tone could never reach the looking-glafs with- out taking three turns in its fight from the hand: that threw it: and the maid, being proved to have fwept the room the fame morning, was ftridtly examined, but conftantly denied that fhe was guil- ty, upon her falvation, offering to take her oath upon the Bible before his reverence, that fhe was as innocent as the child unborn; yet the poor ‘wench was turned off, which I take to have been hard treatment, confidering her ingenuity : how-. ever, this may - -be a direétion to you, in the like cafe, to contrive a ftory, that will better hang to- gether. For inftance, you might fay, that, while you were at work with the mop or brufh, a flath of lightning came fuddenly in at the window, which almoft blinded you; that you immediately heard she ringing of broken glafs on the earth; that, as, foon, 4 iy cf w THE CHAMBER-MAID. 50 foon as you recovered your eyes, you faw the looking-glafs all broken to pieces; or you may alledge, that, obferving the glafs a little cover- ed with duft, and going very gently to wipe it, you fuppofe the moifture*of the atr had diffolved the glue, or cement, which madevit fall to the ground: or, as feon as the mifchief is done, you _maycut the cords that faftened the glafs to the wainf{cot, and fo let it fall flat to the ground; run out in a-fright, tell your lady, curfe the uphol- fterer; and declare how narrowly you efcaped, that it did not fall upon your head. I offer thefe expedients, from a defire I have to defend the in- nocent; for innocent you certainly mutt be, if you did not break the glafs on purpofe, which I would by no. s excufe, except upon great provoca- tions. EA iakl es clams _ Oil the tongs, poker, and fire-fhovel, up to the top; not only to keep them from rufting, but like- wife to prevent meddling people from wafting your matter’s coals with ftirring the fire. ~ When you are in hafte, fweep the duft into corner of the room; but leave your brufh upon it, that it may not be feen, for that would difgrace ou. : Never wath your hands, or put ona clean apron, till you have made your lady’s bed, for fear of | rumpling your apron, or fouling your hands again. _ When you bar the window-fhuts of your lady’s bed-chamber at nights, leave open the fafhes, to let in the frefh air and f{weeten the room againft morning. In the time when you leave the windows open for air, leave books, or fomething elfe, on the window-feat, that they may get air too. When you fweep your lady’s room, never. {tay to pick up foul fmocks, handkerchiefs, pinners; chee DIRECTIONS TO: pin-cufhions, _ tea-fpoons, ribbons, flippers, or. whatever lies in your way; but fweepit all into a corner, and then you aay take them up in & lumpy. and fave time. : Making beds in hot wentlieraa very laborious — work,. and you will be apt to fweat; therefore, — when you find the drops running down from your forehead, wipe them off with a corner of the fheet,. that they may not be feen on the bed. “When your lady fends you to wafh a china cup,. ahd it happen to fall, bring it up, and fwear you did but juft touch it with your hand, when it broke into three halves, And here 1 mutt inform you. . _ aswell as all your fellow-fervants, that you ought. never to be without an excufe; it doth no harm to your matter, and it leflens your fans as; In, this inftance, I do not commend you fo reaking | the cup; it is certain, you did not break it on., purpofe ; ~ “the thing is poflible, that it might: break in your hand. You are fémétimes defirous, to fee a funeral, a ~ quarrel,.a man going to be hanged, a wedding, a bawd carted, or the like: asthey pafs by in the fireet, you lift up the fafh fuddenly, where, by mif-. fortune, it fticks: this was no fault of yours 3. young women are curious by nature; you have “no remedy but-to cut the cord, and. lay the fault _ upon the carpenter, unlefs nobody faw you, and then you are as innocent as any fervant in the houfe. Wear your. lady’s fmock when fhe has thrown it off; it will do you credit, fave your own linen,. and be not a pin the worfe. When you puta clean pillow- cafe on your lady’s. pillow, be fure to faften it well with three corking Bites that it may not fall off in the night. When you {pread. bread. and butter for tea, bes {ure that all the holes in the loaf be full of but- ter,. THE WAITING-MAID. 61 ter, to keep the bread moift againft dinner; and ‘let the mark of your thumb be feen only upon one end of every flice, to fhew your cleanlinefs. When you are ordered to open or lock any door, - trunk, or cabinet, and mifs the proper‘key, or cannot diftinguifh it in the bunch; try the firft key that you can thruft in, and turn it with all your ftrength, till you open the lock, or break the key; for-your lady will reckon you a fool, tocome back and do nothing. | CHAP: EX. | Directions tro THE WAITING-MAID. W O accidents have happened, to leffen the j comforts and profits of your employment ; firft, that execrable cuftom got among ladies, of trucking their old cloaths for china, or turning them to cover eafy chairs,’ or making them into patch-work for fcreens, {tools, cufhions, and the dike. Thefecond is, the invention of fmall chefts and trunks with lock and key, wherein they keep the tea and fugar, without which it is impoffible for a waiting-maid to live: for bythis means you ‘are forced to buy brown fugar, and pour water upon the leaves, when they have loft all their fpirit and tafte. I cannot contrive any perfect remedy againft either of thefe two evils. As to the for- mer, I think there fhould be a general confederacy | of all the fervants in every family, for the public good, to drive thofe china huckilers from the doors; and as to the latter, there is no other me- thod to relieve yourfelves, but by a falfe key, which is a point both difficult and dangerous to -eompafs ; but, as to the circumftances of honefty in. procuring one, | am under no doubt, when your miftrefs gives you fo jult a provocation, by — refuling 62 DIRECTIONS TO refufing you an ancient and legal perquifite. The miftrefs of the tea-fhop may now and then give you half an ounce, but that will be only a drop in the bucket: therefore, 1 fear, you mutt be forced, like the reft of your fifters, to run in. truft, aa pay for it out of your wages, as far as they will- go, which you.can eafily make up other ways, if your lady be handfome, or her daughters have good fortunes. If you are ina great family, and my lady’s wo- man, my lord may probably like you, although — you are not half fo handfome as his own lady. In this cafe, take care to get as much out of him as you can; and never allow him the fmalleft liberty, not the fqueezing of your hand, unlefs he puts a guinea intoit ; fo, by degrees, make him pay ac- cordingly for every new attempt, doubling upon him in proportion to the concefflions you allow, and always ftruggling, and threatening to cry out, to tell your lady, although you receive his money: five guineas for handling your breaft is a cheap pennyworth, although you feem to refift with all your might; but never allow him the laft favour under a hundred guineas, ora fetlement ot ew eney pounds a year for life. In fuch a family, if you are handfome, you ‘will have the choice of three lovers; ; the chaplain, the {teward, and my lord’s gentleman. I would firft — advife you to chufe the fteward; but, if you hap- pento be young with child by my lord, you mult take up with the chaplain. I like my lord’s gen- tleman the leaft of the three, for he is ufually vain and faucy from the time he throws off his livery: and if he miffeth a pair of colours, or a tide- waiter’s place, he hath no remedy but the high- way. y I mutt ~ THE WAITING-MAID. _ 63 I muft caution you particularly againft my lord’s eldeft fon: if you are dextrous enough, it is odds that you may draw him in to marry you, and | make you a lady: if he be acommon rake (and he muft be one or t’other) avoid him like Satan; for he ftands lefs in awe of a mother, than m ‘lord. doth of a wife; and, after ten thoufand pro- mifes, you will get nothing from him, but a big belly or a clap, and probably both together. When your lady is ill, and after a very bad might is getting a little nap in the morning, if a footman comes with a meffage to enquire how fhe doth, do not let the compliment be loft, but fhake her gently until. fhe awakes; then deliver ‘the mefiage, receive her anfwer, and leave her to fleep. | | uf If you are fo happy as to wait on a young lady - _ witha great fortune, you mutt be an ill manager if you cannot get five or fix hundred pounds for the . ‘difpofing of her. . Put her often in mind, that fhe is rich enough to make any man happy; thatthere isno real happinefs but in love; that fhe hath 1i- berty to chufe wherever fhe pleafeth, and not by the directions of parents, who never give allow- ances for an innocent paflion; that there area world of handfome, fine, {weet young gentlemen in town, who would be glad to die at her feet ; that the converfation of two lovers is a heaven upon earth; that love, like death, equals all con- - ditions; that, if fhe fhould caft her eyes upona young fellow below her in birth and eftate, his marrying her would make hima gentleman: that you faw yelterday on the Mal/the prettieft enfign ; and that, if you had forty thoufand pounds, it fhould be at his fervice. “Take care that every body fhould know what lady you live with; how great a favourite you are; and that fhe always takes your 6k ~~ DIRECTIONS, TO your advice. Go ofien’ to 8. James? park; the fine fellows will foon difcover you, and contrive to flip a letter into your bofom: put it out in a fury, © and throw iton the ground, unlefs you find at leaft two guineas along with it; but, in that cafe, feem not to find it, and to think he was only playing the rogue with you: when you come home drop the detter carelefly in your lady’s chamber; fhe finds it,.is angry; prote{t you knew nothing of it, only you remember, that a gentleman inthe park ftrug- gled to kifs you, and you believe it was he that put the letter into your fleeve or petticoat; and indeed he was as pretty a man. as ever fhe faw ; that fhe may burn the letter, if fhe. pleafeth. If your lady be wife, fhe will burn fome other paper before you, and read the letter when you are gone _ ‘down. You muft follow this practice as often as _ you fafely can; but let him who pays you beft with every letter, be the handfomeft man. If a footman prefumes to bring a letter to the houfe to be delivered to you for your lady, al- - though it came from your beft cuftomer, throw it at his head; call him impudent rogue and villain, and fhut the door in his face: run up to your lady, - and, as a proof of your fidelity, tell her what you have done. I could aes very much upon this fubject, but I truft it to your own difcretion. If you ferve a lady who is a little difpofed to ‘ galantries, you will find it a difficult point of great prudence how to manage. ‘Three things are ne- ceffary: firft, how to pleafe your lady; fecondly, how to prevent fufpicion in the hufband, or among the family; and laftly, but principally, how to make it moft for your own advantage. ‘l’o give you full direGions in this important affair, | would require a large volume. All affignations at. home Ags. = Sp ‘THE WAITING-MAID. ___63- . ap hes in home are dangerous both to your lady and yourfelf; and therefore contrive, as much as poflible, to _ have them in a third place; efpecially it your lady, as it is a hundred odds, entertains more lovers than one, each of whom is often more jealous than athoufand hufbands; and very unlucky ren-. counters may often happen under the beft manage-. ment. I need not warn you to employ your good’ offices chiefly in favour of thofe whom you find moft liberal; yet, if your lady fhould happen to caft an eye upona handfome footman, you thould’ be generous enough to bear with her humour, _ which is no fingularity, but a very natural appe--_ tite: it isftill the fafeft of all home-intrigues, and. was formerly the leaft fufpedted, until of late. years it hath grown more common. ‘The great danger is, left this kind of gentry, dealing too of-. ten in bad ware, may- happen not to be found; and then your lady and you are in a very bad way,. although not altogether defperate. But, to fay the truth, I confefs it is a great pre-. fumption in me to offer you any inftructions in the conduct. of your lady’s amours, wherein your. whole fifterhood-is already fo expert, and-deeply learned; although itis much more difficult to com- pafs, than. that affiftance which my brother-foot- men give their matters on the like occafion; and therefore I leave this affair to be treated by fome abler pen. a When you lockup a filk mantua or laced head’ in a trunk’ or cheft, leave a piece. out, that, when you open the trunk again, you may know where to find it. ; © i CHAP. ‘@ = Gore DIRECTIONS TO ~ 3 Gn OBIAP! &. ate Dikvediowe to THE HOUSE. MAID. : i your mafter and lady go into the country oe 1 a week or more, never wath the bed-chamber — or dining-room until juft the hour before you ex- pect them to return: thus the rooms will be per- fe@ly clean to receive them, and you will not be at the trouble to wafh them fo. foon again. I am very much offended with thofe ladies, ae -are fo proud and lazy, that they will not be at the pains of {tepping into the garden to pluck a rofe, but keep an odious implement, fometimes in the bed-chamber itfelf, or at leaftin a dark corner ad- joining, which they make ufe of to eafe their worft neceflities; and you are the ufual carriers away of the pan, which maketh not only the chamber, but even their cloaths, offenfive to all who come near. _ Now, to cure them of this odious praétice, let me o -advife you, on whom the office lies to convey away this utenfil, that you will do it openly, down the great fairs, and in the prefence of the footmen; ‘and if any body knocks, to open the ftreet-door, while you have’the veffel filled in your hands; this, if any thing can, will make your lady take the pains of evacuating her perfon in the proper piace, rather than expole her filthinefs to all men fervants in the houfe. : Leave a pail of dirty-water with the-mop in it, - acoal-box, a bottle, a broom, a chamber-pot, and fuch other unfightly things, either in a blind en- try, Or upon the aa beet part of the back. ftairs, that they may not be feen; and if people break their fhins by trampling on them, it is their own fault. ie ‘Never empty the chamber-pots until they are i full: it that happeneth in the night, empty them Rant ta THE HOUSE-MAID. Gi? them into the ftreet; ifin the morning, into the garden ; for it would be an endlefs work to goa dozen times from the garret and upper rooms down to the back-fide ; “but never wath them in any other liquor except their own: what cleanly girl would be dabbling in other folks urine? and befides, the {mell of {tale, as I obferved before, is admirable againit the vapours ; which, a hundred to one, may be your lady’s cafe. Brufh down the cobwebs with a broom that is wet and dirty, which will make them ftick the fafter to it, and bring them down more effectually, _ When you rid up the parlour-hearth in a morning, throw the lait night’ s afhes into a fieve; and what falls through, as you carry it down, will ferve inftead of fand for the room and the {tairs. When you have fcoured the braffes and irons in the parlour chimney, lay the foul wet clout upon the next chair, that your lady may fee you have not neglected your work: obferve the fame rule, when you clean the brafs locks, only with this ad- dition, to leave the marks of your fingers on the doors, to fhew you have not forgot. Leave your lady’s chamber-pot in her bed- chanat ber window all day to air. Bring up none but large coals to the dining- room and your lady’schamber; they makethebeft fires, and if you find them too big, it is eafy to i break them on the marble hearth. When you go to bed, be fure take care of rake :" ; and therefore blow the candle out with your breath, and then thruft it under your bed: Note, the fmell : of the fnuff is very good again{t vapours. Perfuade the footman, who got you with child, to marry you before you are fix “months gone 3 at nd if aang’ lady afks jude why you would take a oe | ow 68 ~—s«dDIRECTIONS TO” low hb was not worth a groat? let. your anfwér be, That fervice isno inheritance. Ns When your lady’s bed is made, put the chamber- pot under it, but in fach a manner, as to thruft the valance along with it, that it may: be full in fight, When you wafl any of the rooms towards the ftreet over night, throw the foul water out of the {treet-door; but be fure not to look before you,. for fear thofe on whom the water lights, might. think you uncivil, and that you did it on purpofe. If he who fuffers, ‘breaks the windows in revenge,. and your lady chides you, and gives pofitive orders that you fhall carry the pail down, and empty it in the fink, you have an eafy remedy: when you wath an upper room, carry down the pail fo as to: let the water dribble on the ftairs all the way.down to the kitchen; by which not only your-load will. be lighter, but you will convince your lady, that itis better. to throw the water out of the windows, or down the ftreet-door fteps: befides, this latter. practice will be very diverting to you and the fami-. ly in a frofty night, to fee a hundred people falling. on their nofes or backfides before yourdoor, when. — the water is frozen. Polifh and brighten the marble hearths 408 chimney pieces with a clout dipt in greafe: thing maketh them fhine fo: well; and it is at bufinefs of the ladies to take care of their petticoats. — If your lady be fo nice that fhe will have the. room fcoured with. freeftone, be fure to leave the marks of the freeftone fix inches saath oh née: — ae ees THE DAIRY-MAID, &e. 69 the bottom of the wainfcot, that your lady may fee your obedience to her orders. “ye CHAP... XT) Directions To THE DAIRY-MAID. ATIGUE of making butter: put fcalding water in your churn, although in fummer 3. and churn clofe tothe kitchen fire, and with cream. ofa week old. Keep cream for your fweetheart.. _*, ee it ae CHAP. XII. Biiaeevaews To tHe CHILDRENS’-MAIDBD: F a child be fick, give it whatever it wants to eat or drink,. although particularly forbid by the doétor, for what we long for in ficknefs will do us good ; and throw the phyfick out of the win- dow: the child will love you the better} but bid. it not tell. Do the fame for your lady, when fhe longs for any thingin ficknefs; andengage it will do her good. if Tf your miftrefs cometh tothe nurfery, and of- _ fers to whip a child, {natch it out of her handsin a rage, and tell her he's is the cruelleft mother you ever faw: fhe will chide, but love you the better. Tell the children ftories of f{pirits, when they offer to ery, &c.—-Be fure to wean the children, &c. CHAP. XII, DirecTrions ro THE NURSE. F you happen to let the child fall, and lame it, be fure never confefs it; and if it dies, all is fate. Contrive to be with child as foon as you can, while you are giving fuck, that you may be ready for "290° | DIRECTIONS, &cae “for gaochee fervice, when the child you nurfe dies, or is weaned. oe t 3 CHAP. XIV. DirEcTrIons: TO THE ‘LAUNDRESS, [F you finge the linen with the iron, rubsthes place with flour, chalk, or white powder; and 5 if nothing will do, wath it fo long till it be either ' not feen, or torn to rags. ae _ About tearing your linen in wathing ,—When your. linen is pinned on the line, or on a hedge, and it rains, whip it off, although you tear it, &c. But the place for hanging them, is on young fruit trees, efpecially in bloffom;~the linen cannot be torn, and the trees give them a fine fmiell. |. ; "RAP, OVS Directions To THE HOUSE-KEEPER;- a" OU muft always have a favourite footman, whom you can dependupon; and order him to be very watchful, when the fecond courfe is taken off, that it be "brought fafely to your office, that you and the fteward may have a tit-bit together. CHAP cs Aas DION ro THE TUTORESS, or Go: VERNESS, | AY the children have fore a Mit Betty won't take to her book, &e. Make the miffes read Freda and Englifh novels, # : Z ul > “9 and French romances, and all the comedies writin king Charles I-and king Wiliam’s reigns, to foften 5 their nature, and raake, them apere. d, occ. 4 i * - ‘ R, 4 a4 aa tery md Poe Sas a . F 5 t+ ¥ etree * » b r. ry . ; j ; i eo ee Tha A PS be C5 ees aa . RAN ‘> 1, ees EN Weed = hah ea: i 3 , ( a } ; q Ri < See : : : ‘ 7 Y INA,