SKIPPY 
 
 from 
 Life 
 b 
 
 ay 
 
 
 
 PERCY L. CROSBY 
 
 with an introduction by 
 
 OLIVER HERFORD 
 
 
 
 NEW YORK 
 HENRY HOLT AND, COMPANY: 
 
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 CopyRIGHT } 
 LIFE PUBLISHING COMPANY 
 

 
 Oliver introduces Skippy to the Hydra-headed Monster 
 
 ENGR OD WIG ELON 
 
 HEN I was invited to introduce my highly esteemed young friend, Skippy 
 Skinner, to that Hydra-headed Monster the Public, I was at a loss to 
 
 decide just what form of social usage to employ. Accordingly I obtained 
 from a well-known scenario writer (whose delineations of the ‘thaut monde’ have 
 been acclaimed by critics as ‘fairly shouting good breeding’) an etiquette book 
 compiled by a social leader in Hollywood; but alas, though it contained a whole 
 chapter on the subject of introductions, revealing the proper time and proper place 
 and proper persons to introduce to each other, and the proper intonation or lack of 
 intonation to employ when so doing, there was not a single sentence in that other- 
 wise perfect manual of good behavior that offered the slightest suggestion of how 
 to introduce a Boy to a Hydra-headed Monster—or should one, in these Volstead 
 days, say a Hydrant-headed Monster, | wonder. 
 
 Whilst I was turning this matter over in my mind, I chanced to catch sight of 
 Skippy Skinner himself coming out of Blatz’s grocery store (where there is a soda 
 fountain). He had a tape measure in his hand looped to about the bigness of the 
 girth of a medium sized soda glass (I learned afterwards from Lire that Skippy, 
 with his nickel firmly clutched in one hand and a tape measure in the other, was 
 ascertaining the comparative obesity of all the soda fountain goblets in town before 
 venturing his money). 
 
 At the same instant (as though the miracle of Pentecost were repeating itself) 
 the gift of an alien tongue descended upon me and | called out in almost perfect 
 Skippianese—'‘ Hey! Skippy, c'mere! There's a bird here wants to meet yer!”’ 
 
 I purposely avoided mentioning a Hydra-headed Monster, for Skippy classes 
 Monsters with Bedtime Stories, and despises them just as cordially. Moreover 
 the term “Bird” is, | am assured by Professor Brander Matthews, the correct noun 
 to stand for any kind of biped, feathered or otherwise. Aristophanes also supports 
 me (and likewise Skippy) in the human application of the word. 
 
 Whether the fault lay in my vocabulary (which I doubt) or whether my pro- 
 nunciation was too meticulous, I cannot say; all I know is that Skippy redoubled 
 his speed and before you could say “knife” had covered half the distance to the 
 next soda fountain. 
 
 And now, since Mahomet Skippy refuses to come to the Hydra-headed 
 Mountain, the Hydra-headed Mountain must go to Skippy. And the. place to 
 find him on a day like this will be either at Mr. Blatz’s soda fountain or Mrs. 
 Dusenberry’s confectionery, and if you'll meet him half way with a chawklet soda, 
 Dear Reader, you will get your money's worth, take it from me! 
 
 Oliver Herford. 
 
 oe —se 
 

 
Me 
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 Fe ea 
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 ’s all.” 
 
 that 
 
 date 
 
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 to bust thi 
 
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 I 
 
 t show up pretty soon, 
 
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 Young Hopkins Is the Descendant of a Long Line of Horsemen 
 

 
 “Lissen, Sookey! The grocer’s just 
 put some choc’late bars on the 
 counter, go in and ask for some- 
 thing he don’t keep an’ I'll wait 
 for vast that a good idea?” 
 
 “I got a better idea—you go in!” 
 
 
 
 
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 Skippy: A package of birdseed, Mr. Blatz: Birdseed? Birdseed? 
 Mr. Blatz. Wait, I’ll look in the back. 
 
 Mr. Blatz: Birdseed? You were 
 in for that a couple of times, I 
 think. 
 
 Skippy: Yes, sir! 
 
 
 
 
 
 —= 
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 Sheena ali 
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 \ it 
 
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 ett ast “Papa! Skippy’s swipin’ our 
 
 SAF Pee bit b6 
 
 chawklet, swipin’ our chawklet !” 
 
 
 
 ~ is 
 
 Mother's Voice: Is that you, Mother’s Voice: Well, I want you 
 Skippy ? to go to the grocer’s and get me 
 
 aa te a package of birdseed. Papa just 
 Skippy: Y—es, M—mama| brought home a canary, 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 hee a eh rae tt 
 i cra 
 
 LEE. = 
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 AY TS 
 oe 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 “After all, maybe I am a little too quick with me tongue.” 
 

 
 “At last, I got a tape measure.” “Five | inches.” 
 
 * le eens 
 ie ae 
 
 r Fa x 
 : } ee; te os 
 
 
 
 “Seven inches!” Peereer 
 
 
 
 “Three inches!” “Choc’late soda—extra sweet!” 
 
“PAPA, MAMMA SAYS TO 
 
 
 
 BRING HOME CHOPS!” 
 
 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 * SAS < . ‘ 
 
 — = WE WE 4 
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 SSE SS \ cS 
 
 = 
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 “Ain't ya ever afraid of cuttin’ 
 
 yaself, Papa? Frankie Casey’s fa- 
 
 ther cut hisself somethin’ terrible. 
 
 They got a doctor ’n’ everything. 
 
 That was a year ago ‘n’ the scars 
 still show.” 
 
 
 
 “Papa, Mama hasn’t any 
 change.” 
 
 “Then look in my coat 
 pocket.” 
 
 
 
 “Thank heavens! I can shave 
 in peace now.” 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 is Y Z 
 CHEZ = 
 
 “I betcha if that razor slipped 
 you'd cut ya head clean off. Yes, 
 Stialeeeleanmoti |= 
 “Skippy, run down and ask Mama 
 to give you a dime, then run out 
 and ‘get a soda.” 
 
 “Mama, Papa says you should give 
 me a dime, please, Mama, Papa 
 
 says. 
 “T only have bills, dear.” 
 
 — 
 
 Vig Sle 
 Ly AT T | 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 “Papa, I looked through all your “Ooh! ! I got a dime!” 
 coats and there ain’t one little 
 penny—no, sir!” 
 “Well, look in this left-hand trouser 
 pocket !” 
 
 
 
 
 
 Buddic: Yah! Ya-went-an’- “Shave.” 
 gived-Skippy-a-dime-’n’-ya-never- 
 gived-me-one! Yah-boo-hoo! 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 : a = SSS 
 
 : ll Sa ql V7 
 
 
 
 
 
 ——_ s SR es 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 It must have been catfish. 
 

 
 than this! 
 
 TRYING TO PERFORM A DEED A DAY 
 Skippy Christens an Elephant 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 NS : 
 aN MA 
 am AY TA) | | 
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 \ 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 “Mama! Will you make Freddie stop? He asks God to bless me, then he says things under his breath.” 
 

 
 Skippy: Do ya know what ya wanta 
 do if a cop chases ya? Run like sixty 
 ’n’ when he gets right on top of ya, 
 drop down on ya hands ’n’ knees ’n’ 
 he’ll go head over teakettle. 
 
 
 
 Friend: Oh! I know somethin’ better 
 ‘n that! You get down on yer hands ’n’ 
 knees right in back of a cop ’n’ [ll 
 come up ’n’ give him a shove. It al- 
 ways gets a laugh outa me. 
 
 Friend: Let’s dig up a cop now 
 ’n’ Tll knock him for a row of 
 rollin’ butter tubs. Just get be- 
 hind him ’n’ I'll do all the rest. 
 
 can come out by me a little 
 while! I wanta show ya some 
 fireworks ! 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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 “What seems to be the matter of ya, Georgie?” 
 “T dunno, but I think I got es ’n’ Smallpox.” 
 “Yeh? I was a little leery about comin’ in at first ‘cause I thought maybe ya had Tonsils.” 
 
 
 

 
 Ne waabe 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 “Mother !” 
 
 “M uh-ma!”’ 
 
 
 
 “Can I look at another corner ?”’ 
 
 avVelbewhat asmitin 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 1 W/A 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 \7 AWE 
 Li ; \ VP } 4 
 ‘ol, 
 EQ Se 
 . 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 “Hey! What’s the idea of the chain? I paid me ten cents!” 
 
 <— 
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 Nee 
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 rt sa . 2 = 
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 ae ste. 
 
 
 

 
 
 “Oh, boy! This’ll be the first soda 
 in three days.” 
 
 
 
 Friend: Been playin’ much ball 
 lately ? 
 SUhtss Huh!” 
 
 
 
 wa 
 
 “Hey, Skippy! Yoo! Hoo!” Friend: How’s the world treatin’ 
 “Just my luck! Ill never get rid ya, Skippy? 
 Ol itn -Oh Ws. sole 
 
 
 
 a 
 ta 
 Friend: Have ya_ been down to Friend: Laff! I tought I'd split 
 the crick? Oh! Ya shoulda go. me sides—say! let’s go down, the 
 They’s more fun. I give Goopy a water’s great. 
 shove ’n’ he goes head over tea “Naw! You go down!” 
 
 kittle. 
 
 
 
 Friend: Ah! I don’t wanta go 
 alone. I wisht I knew what to do 
 with meself. 
 POlieeyas mothers calline ya.” 
 
 
 
 Friend: Oh! Here comes Pop. Just 
 the man I want to see. Wait here 
 a minute. 
 
 Friend: No she ain’t! She went to Friend: Well, that suits me all 
 
 the city. Say, let’s dig up a cop right! 
 ni get chased. Skippy (aside): Oh, if I could 
 SNoleea be thinks IS stay: Shere,” only think up some terrible crack. 
 
 
 
 
 ny 
 
 
 
 
 Z4Ee 
 
 Friend: Skippy! Look! A quarter. Skippy: We'll have to get together 
 Pop says I’m to buy you a soda, too! oftener, Georgie. 
 

 
 
 
 “Well. I guess I know how to make one now.” 
 
 It's a darn 
 

 
 Skippy: Papa, Papa. Tell me a story, please, 
 Papa, huh, a story tell me. 
 “Well, cnce upon a time there was a very 
 : greedy king.” 
 “What king?” 
 pitied king! “Any king!” 
 
 “Now the king wanted all the gold in the 
 land, so one day he ran across a poor farmer.” 
 “What was the matter with his brakes?” 
 “He didn’t have a car! Well, anyway, this far- 
 mer had a beautiful daughter who was spin- 
 ning wool.” 
 
 
 
 “How do ya spin wool, Papa?” 
 “Let me finish! When the king saw this he 
 said to the farmer: ‘If your daughter can 
 spin gold out of a roomful of straw—I will 
 make her the queen.’ ” 
 “What was the matter with his own queen? 
 “He was a bachelor.” 
 “You said he was a king.” 
 “Yes, a king, an unmarried king.” 
 
 
 
 “All that night the poor farmer’s daughter 
 
 cried and cried and cried, ‘I don’t know how 
 
 to spin straw into gold! Oh, what to do! 
 What to do!’” 
 
 “Papa, Goadie’s garage burned down to-day.” 
 
 “So what did the king do but take this beauti- 
 ful girl and lock her in a room filled with straw.” 
 “Ya know what I’d do if a king locked a 
 beautiful daughter of mine in a room full of 
 straw?” 
 “Never mind.” 
 
 
 
 “Take that d—— thing out of here and get 
 to bed!” 
 
 SKIPPY KNOWS A GOOD STORY WHEN HE HEARS IT 
 

 

 
 Skippy: What's the matter? You Skippy: Now watch me! All right, 
 ain't playin’ the bag like you used fellers! Let’s have a few. 
 to did—give us your glove! 
 
 
 
 Skippy: Now do you understand 
 how to do it? 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 THE “WORM” WILL TURN 
 
 
 
??? 
 
 the bathroom 
 
 In 
 
 Is it all right for me to start that clean towel you put 
 
 “Hey, Ma! 
 
 
 
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 ‘Didn't I tell you that I would punish you if I found you fighting? What were you arguing about?” 
 “Willie said you were ten years older’n his mother.” ; 
 “Ten years! The idea!” 
 “Don’t cha worry, Ma! I learned him to say ya were twenty years older.” 
 

 
 ASKIPPY-“SITAGESs Ay SHOW OF HIS OWN 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 “Give ‘im one for me, Mickey!” 
 
 
 
 
 “Merry Christmas, Mr. Macfurson, Merry Christmas!” 
 ] “What man?” 
 “No man! Christmas! Jingle! Jingle! Merry Christmas!” 
 . “T can’t hear ye!” 
 “Well, it’s a hell of a time to get took deaf.” 
 

 
 Skippy: I was just up at the Orpheeyum ’n’ a magician Butch: I wuz up dere oncet ’n’ a magician took elephants 
 let fishes come out of his ears. out’n a hat. 
 
 Butch: Ah! You're always seein’ things nobody else sees. Skippy: I was up there that week. 
 Butch: See! How I ketch ya in a lie! He didn’t. 
 
 Skippy: Well, he took somethin’ out of a hat. Rabbits, 
 maybe, I dunno. 
 
 
 
 Butch: Yeh! ’n’ dat ain’t de only thing! Yez went 
 easin’ it around dat yer ole man put da gloves on wid 
 Dempsey ’n’ had him gropin’ around da ring wally- 
 eyed. 
 
 Skippy: Oh, that! I was just making conversation. 
 Butch: Wot do youse people do—stuff up on raw 
 meat dat va c’n go ’round belittlin’ Dempsey ? 
 
 Butch: I never see youse yet but wot yez wasn’t 
 spillin’ balloon gravy. Remember when de Orpheeyum 
 showed “Down to de Sea in Ships”? You come aroun’ 
 ‘n’ says dat everybody wot sees de pitcher gets a bowl 
 o’ gold fish. ’N’ wot happens? De gang gets together 
 ’n’ buys out da whole awkestree, no less. For wot, I 
 ask ya? We come out widout s’ much as a killee. 
 Skippy: Yeh! That was a lie. 
 
 
 
 . 
 
 
 
 Butch: But de time worse of all is when ya come buzzin’ around 
 about de gold eggs ya hens wuz layin’. Dere wuz so much buried 
 treasure in ya back yard dat even da roosters began layin’ solid gold 
 eggs wid poil necklaces in ’em. Right den I began to get mothy ! 
 Skippy: Aw, ya got me wrong, Butch. Why, I gotta heart as big as 
 atable. Just to prove it I’ll take ya up to the grandmother ’n’ blow 
 ya to a couple o’ pies. 
 Butch: Gwan! I wouldn’t believe yez if ya wus tattooed wid Bible 
 pictures ! 
 
 Skippy: Maybe it’s just as well Butch didn’t believe me! 
 

 
 
 
 when Skippy has to go to the store in a tough neighborhood. 
 
 9? 
 
 “Old Glory 
 
 Nothing like the protection of 
 
re 
 
 
 
 “Papa, Papa, if I prayed and prayed to have “Why ?” 
 to-morrow morning Chris’mas would God do it?” “Well, it’s short notice, for one thing.” 
 “No ” 
 
 
 
 “When you was a little boy didn’t you used to “Oh, say forty-two!” | 
 couldn’t wait for Chris’mas ?” “Forty-two! Gee, forty-two Chris’mases, that’s 
 “Many, many times!” a terrible lot. It must have been years and years 
 ~ “How many ?” since you was a little boy. Is it awful to 
 “Oh, it doesn’t matter—many times!” be old?” 
 “T never repeat things outside any more—how 
 many ?” i ae 
 
 
 
 Se-s2.c ee eae @ — @ as 2 ow eH Be @eetean" Oo ec ee Fe 2 ee fF eeaee] . 
 
 “Look, Papa! Here’s forty-two pennies I saved. “Since you’re such a good boy, I'll give you a 
 Think of seein’ as many Chris’mases as that— half-dollar for those forty-two pennies.” 
 
 a few more’n you'll be an old man.” “Well—all right—you couldn’t make that forty- 
 “Listen here, young man! Do you refer to me two half-dollars, could you now, huh, Papa?” 
 
 before the boys as ‘my old man’ ?” 
 “Oh, Papa, I never did! ’N’ anybody else’d get 
 learned better.” 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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 ne, ae 
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 ——— 
 
 “So! I ain’t good enough to be asted to this party, huh 
 Well, some day LAD! seekal cae party o’ me own ’n’ no 
 one’ll get invited!” 
 
 ween ee 
 
 
 
 _ Dee 
 
 rsa 
 
 “Huh, the worm wuz bigeers this !”’ 
 
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 Storekecper: Come on! I can’t wait all day, what 
 
 Skippy: Nothin’! I’m just lookin’ around. 
 do ya want? 
 
 SKIPPY AND THE DING-A-LING CANDY STORE 
 
fe 
 
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 “Such language! I’m going right in and tell your mother.” 
 “What good’ll it do ya? We don’t take offen you anyway.” 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 Mother's Voice: Skippy! Get up! Eight o’clock! Mother’s Voice: Skippy! Up! Eight o’clock! 
 “All right, Ma, jus’ a minute, I’m bz—zzz He “Tm up, Ma! Gee! Give a fellow a show, I’m 
 ; comin’ bz—zzz—zzz 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 Mother’s Voice: Young man! I’m not going to 
 call you again! 
 “Comin’, comin’ jus’ soon as I find this other 
 shoe—bzz—zz—zz 2 
 
 
 
 
 
 Brother’s Voice: Mama, can I have Skippy’s buck- Skippy: You leave them buckwheat cakes alone, 
 wheat cakes >—He ain’t gettin’ up. ya darn kid! 
 
 THE KID GETS A RISE QUT OF SKIPPY 
 
Dyltse ee 
 
 
 
 “Oh! I forgot to call up the ex- “Sonny, will you mind this reel for Kid: Ah! Here’s the Indian. Now, 
 change.” me? [’ll only be a few minutes.” we'll see what he’s got up his sleeve. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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 “Was you here when I got me little dig in about his old man?” 
 “No. I just come when youse was pickin’ yaself outa the gutter,” 
 

 
 SKIPPY ‘DEGIDES: TO START THE FLY PAPER 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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 “Do you mean to say you have had a bath already?” . 
 “No, Mama. I had the tub all full ’n’ a fly fell in, then I was just too simple disgusted!” 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 Skippy: All work ’n’ no play makes Jack “Nothin’ but work! work! work! Then 
 a dull boy. Whoever made that crack was the kids I have to put up with! It’s just 
 : a poet, believe me. simple disgustful!” 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 “I wisht I lived in the city. Every time ya “Sometimes I think I’ll go to sea to forget— 
 want a swim the fire department drives up After all what is there here for me? 
 to the door.” Nothin’! You said it!” 
 
 
 
 =] Zi Lp 
 AZZ, 
 
 
 
 
 Mother’s Voice: It certainly is a hot day; 
 
 just as soon as Skippy finishes mowing the 
 
 lawn, I’m going to send him for a quart of 
 ice cream. 
 

 
 
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 ¢ uy 
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 nny 
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 beset 
 
 Me uhra rose ale s 
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 na 
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 “Ah! What's the use o’ givin’ me this? There ain’t no place to cS 
 roll a hoople around up here.” : ry 
 
 
 

 
 | 
 
 ult 
 
 PA 
 
 anh 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 Diver; Ah! Just as I expected. All the girls are 
 
 Skippy: When are you going to dive, Mister? 
 watching me now. 
 
 “Very soon, my boy, very soon.” 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 Diver: It must be a great treat for the small boy Skippy: I can't wait for him all day! 
 when he sees a man dive from this pile. 
 

 
 Catcher: Only de foist innin’ ’n’ toiteen runs ya give ’em—dat’s what cha did! 
 Back to de Orioles, where ya useta wuz! 
 “Always pickin’! Pickin’! De hull team pickin’ ’n’ not s’ much as a hand when 
 I fanned out dat guy!” 
 

 
ria 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 “How'd ya like to have two teeth like them?” 
 “What good are they ?—ya can’t crack nuts with ’em.” 
 
 
 
  \ ol FaN\h : 
 a sh eey ° as “ 
 “And did you ask the Lord to give you your daily bread?” 
 “N’m! ’Cause I seen we got a loaf in the closet.” 
 
CLL fii iB: 
 Ul 
 
 
 
 “I’ve got my father’s great big six-shooter with me - “TM fill ’em full of lead ’n’ if that don’t kill ’em I'll 
 ‘n’ if anybody in this woods wants to start some- take a great big rope ’n’ tie “em on our choppin’ 
 thin’ just let "em—but they DASSN’T.” block ’n’ cut.’em up in little pieces. I’M SO TOUGH 
 
 I COULD DRINK BLOOD!” 
 
 
 
 “There’s been a lot of people missin’ around here, but 
 nobody knows who soaked ’em in kerosene oil ’n’ “Just let me get roused up ’n’ ’LL BLOW UP 
 touched a match to ’em.” THIS WHOLE WOODS!” 
 
 i 
 YY, 
 ¢ S fs Rs if A 
 
 
 

 
 A FRIEND IN NEED. 
 
 
 

 
 S NOTE 
 
 SWERSe DHE TEACHER’ 
 
 AN 
 
 ipey 
 
 as. 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 “Now where did you get those nice big cheeks?” 
 : “Papa's a -glass ‘blower.” 
 
 
 
 e Captain: Miss it ’n’ ya’ll get a sock in the nose. 
 

 
 
 ZUA% pe 
 Oy 
 
 
 
 il 
 
 “Hey, Mister! Looka here!” 
 
 . sr. 
 : Se 
 
 Aa > 
 ou 
 aan 
 
 & 
 
 
 
 Lo 
 
 “Why ain’t there a fence around this garden?” a 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 Read the jokes offen 
 
 ; 
 
 Ilya Bape 
 
 ’?em, wi 
 
 Kid (brought up on Sunday supplements) 
 

 
 Skippy: How is Mr. Kraus- Skippy: Oh, well. “I thought I’d drop around and 
 
 rie ett see how Mrs. Cooper was feelin’ 
 “Much better.” these days.” 
 “That's nice.” “She’s sittin’ up now.” 
 “I thought maybe she 
 wasn’t.” 
 
 
 
 Skippy: And how is Mr. Grout “Dr. Dodds oughta know.” 
 to-day ? 
 “Oh! Oh! Dr. Dodds says he’s 
 much worse.” 
 “T’ll come around again 
 to-morrow.” 
 
 
 
 
 xl 
 
 
 
 CONTAGIOUS { 
 DISEASE. I 
 
 
 
 “Maybe there’ll be something "Geel Wilikens !” 
 in Dugston,” 
 
 
 
 Skippy: I just seen your ad on “Hey, Chimmey! Yoo! Hoo!” Skippy: Well, I suppose ya heard 
 the gate. the latest! After Easter all us 
 “Go ’way! Go ’way!” choir ginks get double pay for sing- 
 
 in’ at funerals, 
 

 
 “Gawd help anybody that spits on the flag to-day.” 
 
Butch: You 
 
 Skippy: 
 
 
 
 Skippy: I grabs ’im ’n’ 
 pair of glass eyes!” 
 sez, “Ya'll hand yaself a 
 
 
 
 “°F coaxes in me left.” 
 
 
 
 “He was outclassed from 
 the start, but the right 
 crumbles him up.” 
 
 rinsed-out 
 little toad, do ya: wanta 
 make anything out’n it? 
 How’s tricks? 
 
 Butch: 
 like a pie on parade. 
 Skippy: 
 little 
 ding once in a while. 
 
 “Tweet! Tweet!” 
 
 
 
 “"N’ 0’ course it flattens 
 him.” 
 
 “Who, me, 
 SZ. 
 
 Ya" vot ia. face 
 
 I don’t mind a 
 good-natured kid- 
 
 
 
 
 
 “T'll have that guy writin’ 
 beggin’ letters for wooden 
 knuckles ’n’ pulleys yet.” 
 
 Skippy: ’N’ then I sez, 
 
 el don’t care if ya are 
 
 one of the local boys— 
 
 keep in your own side of 
 town.” 
 
 
 
 “When the doctor gets 
 finished stitchin’ him he’ll 
 be able to sew doilies.” 
 
 Skippy: Then I begin to 
 butter him with my left. 
 
 
 
 “But he tries to box, so 
 
 “Up he gets—a game boy, 
 in crashes my right.” 
 
 O’Leary! Oh, game.” 
 
 “T held out my jaw until he flattens his 
 knuckles ’n’ then a three-inch chop plasters 
 him flatter’n a shadow.” 
 
 SKIPPY DESCRIBES AN ENCOUNTER WITH BUTCH O’LEARY 
 

 
 Skippy: Oh! Ya ain’t goin’ to pass without stoppin’ “Your mother has a great deal to do—she doesn't 
 
 in to say hello to Mama—are-ya, Miss Towns? want to be bothered with callers.” 
 
 “Why, I’m sorry, Skippy, but I can’t stop to-day !” “Oh, Mama never has anything to do ’n’ I know 
 
 “Oh, Miss Towns! Not even for one little tiny she likes callers ’cause she’s always lookin’ out 
 minute ?” the window to see who passes by.” 
 
 
 
 “Just this once stop in, Miss Towns, ’n’ we'll “I like you to come in—won’t ya come in for me? 
 never ask you again.” Besides, we got lots of nice things to eat to-day. 
 “Next time, Skippy.” Lovely strawberry shortcake, think of it!” 
 “Ya ain’t sore at us or somethin’, are ya, Miss “Well, [ll go in for a little while.” 
 Towns ?” 
 
 “Oh, Skippy! Certainly not!” 
 
 
 
 Miss Towns: Why, Skippy, I never knew you 
 played the violin. Won’t you play for me, like 
 a good boy? 
 

 
 x 
 
 \ 
 
 a 
 
 
 
 PHEU 
 VAUDEVI 
 UEGILEIR 
 
 MIR | 
 §G 
 
 
 
 THE TEACHER TOLD HIM TO BE PREPARED TO PERFORM 
 
 AT THE COMMENCEMENT EXERCISES 
 

 
 Captain: Lend us ya cabbage, will ya, Skippy? We ain't 
 ei got a ball ’n’ we want to go through some signals. 
 Skippy: - Sure. 
 
 Skippy: I lost the cabbage! I knew I shoulda 
 got that hole in my pocket fixed. 
 
 
 

 
 Radio Voice at Ringside: The con- 
 
 tender for the heavyweight crown 
 
 has just entered the ring. He ap- 
 pears nervous and fidgety. 
 
 
 
 Radio Voice: The ovation you just 
 heard was given to the champion, 
 who just entered the ring. He is 
 now clasping his gloves above his 
 head in acknowledgment of the ap- 
 plause of the multitude. 
 
 
 
 Radio Voice: There goes the bell! 
 The contender leads with a vicious 
 left, but is six inches short. Jabs 
 with his right. Champion parries 
 and sends three stinging jabs to 
 the jaw in quick succession. 
 
 
 
 Iriend: Fire! Skippy! Fire! the 
 factory's on fire! 
 Radio Voice: The champion’s hold- 
 ing! There goes the bell! 
 
 
 
 Yz- & 
 aD) 
 Cae ame | 
 
 eu 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 Friend: S’help me if they ain’t 
 
 jumpin’ out the winders in nets! 
 
 Radio Voice: The champion has 
 
 the contender on the ropes. Oh! 
 
 this is a wonderful fight! The 
 
 champion has him in the corner. 
 It looks like the finish. 
 
 Radio Voice: That was the end of 
 the sixth round. The contender is 
 bleeding, but still strong despite 
 the gruelling pace set by the title 
 holder. The champion calmly talks 
 about the weather to some news- 
 paper men. Get ready for the bell! 
 
 Another Friend: Fire! Fire! 
 C’mon, Skippy! It’s terrible! It’s 
 wonderful! 
 
 Radio Voice: The champion is 
 bringing his old footwork into play 
 now. His superior boxing makes 
 the contender appear awkward. 
 
 Friend: They’re sendin’ in the third 
 alarm! Skippy! The third alarm! 
 Radio Voice: The crowd’s scream- 
 ing for a knockout! A left upper- 
 cut just dropped the contender. 
 He’s up again! There goes the 
 knockout! The bell saves him. 
 
 
 
 Radio Voice: Aware of the taunts 
 
 and slurs directed at him by the 
 
 contender for the crown, the cham- 
 
 pion is fixing a cold determined 
 stare at his opponent. 
 
 
 
 Radio Voice: There they go! The 
 contender drove the champion -to 
 the ropes with smashing lefts and 
 rights. The title holder’s covering 
 up. A wicked left just crashed 
 through to the champion’s jaw. 
 Another! Everybody’s yelling! The 
 champion’s taking severe punish- 
 ment. 
 
 
 
 Another Friend: Fire! Fire! Fire! 
 Radio Voice: The champion drives 
 a terrible left smash to the con- 
 tender’s chin. Now a right. An- 
 other left. A right to his ribs. 
 
 
 
 Doctor: He’s all right! He’s just 
 been under some terrible strain. 
 He'll be all right in a few days. 
 

 
 TRESS 
 cp “i SS 
 
 Pes 
 
 his cawfee agin. 
 
 *s blowin’ 
 
 Willie 
 
 ! 
 
 “Mama 
 

 
 
 
 SKIPPY WEATHERS THE COLDEST NIGHT OF THE YEAR 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 72 
 
 ig 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 SKIPPY GIVES SANTA CLAUS A MOUTHFUL 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 ‘ 
 
 p 
 % 
 
 
 
 ie 
 
 = 
 
 This is the last time I’ll lead this pack of cowards!” 
 
 “Believe me! 
 
 re 
 

 
 Willie’s trouble came all in a lump 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 who gave his 
 Son an Air Rifle 
 
 forxmar atl 
 

 
 
 
 OR IP RY SAKES AN VIOLIN LESSON 
 
 
 
pre 
 ‘ine 
 
 | 
 
 
 
 se 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 sian one 
 | 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 A MEETING OF THE ORIOLE SPORTING CLUB 
 President: Has anybody any objections to Hickey becom ing a member of this club? 
 Jimmic: Yeh, I have! One day I was swipin’ apples outa Maure’s orchard and Hickey sneaks 
 up and stoled me whole bag full. Now I don’t think we oughter have guys in we can’t trust. 
 Chorus of Members: Jimm‘e’s right! We don’t want no crooks in this club. A guy like that 
 would give us Orioles an awful black eye. 
 
 Tce eee gee wae ge 
 a ey ee See ee 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 rh 
 InN 
 
 
 
 Skippy: I’m hookin’ this medal 
 on ya for very conspicious 
 bravery. 
 
 “Hot dog, General!” 
 
 Sooky: Where’s the kiss what 
 goes wid it? 
 
 “Gwan! There ain’t goin’ to be 
 a kiss.” 
 
 
 
 
 Sooky: The medal’s no good 
 widout a kiss. Didn’t I saw 
 Gen. Foch wid me own eyes 
 kiss the army in the pictures? 
 “I don’t care—it don’t look nice.” 
 
 
 
 Skippy: Besides, who ever 
 
 heard o’ Grant ’n’ Lee runnin’ 
 
 around playin’ post office with 
 the army? 
 
 “I want the kiss what goes wid 
 me medal.” 
 
 
 
 Sookey: I—want—the—kiss—what 
 —goes—wid—me—medal ! 
 “Listen, lay off’n me before I but- 
 ter the sidewalk with ya!” 
 
 Skippy: Now, listen! Forget 
 
 about the kiss ’n’ I’ll pin the 
 
 Balkan Cross on ya—yes, ’n’ I'll 
 
 throw in the Russian Sable 
 Legion, too. 
 
 “I want the kiss what goes wid 
 me medal!” 
 
 Skippy: Why don’t you go 
 
 home and take a hot bath ’n’ 
 maybe Ill kiss ya. 
 
 Tain’t the first o’ the month.” 
 
 “wy 
 
 Skippy: Well! I'll say that’s 
 gettin’ out of it very nice. 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 
 Sooky: He don’t wanna come, do he? 
 
 Skippy: ’ Course he don’t. What ya 
 
 should ought to do is to take the 
 tail off’n him. 
 
 “Me an’ Pop was thinkin’ 0’ sawin’ it “Listen, Sooky, do me a favor—bite 
 ” 
 
 : off the dog’s tail now.” 
 “Aw, they don’t saw ’em off, they bite 
 
 "em off.” 
 
 
 
 “Why should I bite the tail off’n him?” “Let’s not fight, Sooky. I’m only doin’ “That’s easy! Just close your eyes and 
 “Oh! Maybe J should do it, huh? I what's right. Just bite it off and you'll think of a chocolate eclair—nothing 
 should bite your dog’s tail off!” have a thoroughbred.” can be sweeter than that.” 
 
 “I wish I could get me noive up.” 
 
 
 
 “How's it coming, Sooky ?” “Ker-choo! Ker-choo!” “Oh, no wonder! Ya ain’t got any 
 RES IIh Yosne front teeth!” 
 

 
 “°N’ forgive me if I peek ’cause after 
 all I’m only a little boy.” 
 

 
 Skippy’s Father: Well, good-by, folks, and I Skippy’s Father: Good-by ! 
 
 can’t tell you how much we enjoyed this visit Skippy: Papa, ain’t ya going to take what Aunt ‘ 
 I guess I was cut out for a Allie give us? 
 Aunt Allie: Land sakes! If I ain’t plumb 
 
 Ya know we're crazy to have forgot it after wrappin’ it up. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 Uncle Abner: Durned if ya didn’t. 
 
 
 
 
 
 “Gee, Pop! If it wasn’t for me we’d ’a’ forgot all this.” 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 PS 
 lig 
 
 a 
 
 WA) bi d AANA | 
 rt Ai (= He 
 = hr iN 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 nO hy ee rd! atin oe ret 
 ed on Chr Eve ?” 
 
 Ti 
 Za | | 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 “Now remember! It’s ae istmas Ev poe! don’t go making any 
 ise cracks! 
 
mekeebNioe TE lt riE PIRST LESSON! 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 1. About three months before Christ- 2. The following Sunday he joined 3. Then the Unitarian. 
 mas, Skippy decided to join the Meth- the Episcopalian Sunday School. 
 odist Church Sunday School. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 4. The ensuing Sunday he belonged to 5. In the same town was a Presbyte- 6. Seven days later he found a Quak- 
 the Dutch Reform Church. rian Church, so Skippy joined. er Church—made friends. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 7. Another Sunday he espied a Col- 8. After which he became a member 9. The Baptist Church showed him 
 legiate Church and immediately joined. of the Congregational Church. every kindness. 
 
 = 
 5) PILGRIMS PROGRESS 
 
 ~___) PILGRIMS PROGRESS 
 2) ) PILGRIM'S PROGRESS 
 2) PILGRIMS PROGRESS 
 
 
 
 Sratrers) 
 __) PILGRIMS PROGRESS 
 
 
 
 10. In the Lutheran Sunday School 11. Just before Christmas he arrived 12. With the result that each gave 
 Skippy was a great help to the teacher. at the Universalist Church in time - him a Christmas present. 
 to enroll with the Sunday School. 
 

 
 “Why don’t they get 
 
 up some flower that 
 
 means a bust in the 
 nose ?” 
 
 Le tA || 
 Y 
 Vin 
 / lo 
 j rt 
 
 ANN 
 VY 
 
 ( 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 t 
 | 
 At 
 
 a 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 \) 
 N 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 | i 
 
 
 
 ‘omni 
 \ & Ss, 
 
 Having gotten the Children to bed. 
 Father finally slipped down stairs. 
 
 Wil 
 \\i i 
 NY | F 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 
 we 
 
 Skippy: Would you like to have Mrs. Bilkens: Remember—make a 
 your path shoveled off, Mrs. nice job of it—a good wide path. 
 Bilkens ? 
 “Why, yes! Go right ahead, 
 Skippy.” 
 
 
 
 
 
 Skippy: A. vacyum cleaner Skippy: It’s all done, Mrs. Bil- ; 
 wouldn’t do it no better ’n this, kens. It'll be thirty cents. out o me. 
 “T thought you were doing it for 
 fun” 
 
 “Then you'll get no work outa me.” 
 
 
 

 
 Ade 
 
 “At last I got me Christmas shop- 
 pin’ done, but it certainly breaks 
 into a dollar.” 
 
 
 
 46 
 Mamma, Ya better come down to Willie! [ tora 
 
 tim wot to put butter on his pertatos an’ he Says: 
 
 The H— wid it! Xmas only comes once a year?” 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 SKIPPY KEEPS THINGS UNDER HIS HAT 
 
 ll i ake 
 | 
 

 
 NN : a 
 
 TS 
 ese 
 
 Fie aa! 
 eer 
 
 “T never did stole the fruit, Mr. Italian! Me friend—he did!” 
 Voice in the Barrel: An’ me willin’ to lay down me life for a pal! 
 
 
 
 “Mama wants to know can us borro’ some water—they 
 turned offen ours.” 
 “Oh, sure! What’ll ya have—hot or cold?” 
 “Oh, I don’t know that!” 
 “Well! Tell ya what I’ll do. Til give ya some hot ’n’ if 
 that ain’t right come back ’n’ I'll give ya some ice!” 
 
-- 
 ‘ m ya “ep oS 
 at ™ 3S gee 
 SG pth aN 
 re on oes & ~ 
 © Face, ‘ if ; 
 fe = {i ae fr 3 ‘ 
 le a9 i mn 
 / { fA rremteeerrentt ce merentinnmen—< |) )\, 
 i j j i I 
 fe } B 
 ( | aff 
 Be ere | oH 
 } | Eh: 
 | 
 | 
 
 
 
 
 
 f 
 Brother: Mama, I heard that crack! Taste these pertaters 
 
 Skippy: Mama, you should better come in to Buddy! 
 He’s plasterin’ big lumps of butter on his potatoes, just ‘n’ see if there’s as much butter as the minister puts on 
 like the minister. 7em. Nothin’ but pickin’! pickin! 
 Mother: Come! Come! You boys are old enough to 
 know better! Let bygones be bygones! 
 
 
 
 Brother: 1 took notice ya didn’t get no Skippy: You heard Mama say ‘Let bygones be bygones,’ 
 satisfaction! _ didn’t ya? x ! 
 
SSS. i} 
 
 sS SoS 
 SSS 
 
 = Ss : 
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 eee 
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 NaN 
 TSS SS 
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 N 
 Se SS SSS ~ NS 
 SN 
 
 
 
 
 
 SSS 
 
 SS 
 
 SS 
 
 NS 
 
 
 
 ™ SNS 
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 5 ieee > 
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 ~ 
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 7 
 Cale 
 ZZ ge 
 
 SSS 
 
 
 
 
 
 ~ 
 == =~ 
 ~aN 
 
 
 
 
 
 So 
 ANS = = —s ~ 
 
 
 
 “Did you kill the rooster for to-morrow’s dinner ?” 
 “No, Ma, I went out there, but I thought it would be better if the poor fellow got a good 
 night’s rest first cause he’s got such a hard day before him to-morrow.” 
 
CZ > 
 ee LE A 
 
 . 
 
 i, 
 
 js 
 
 
 
 Man: Wasn’t there another little nut here a Skippy; Qh, yeh! That was me kid brother! He 
 minute ago? just went home. 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 “Cheese it, Georgie! Hurry up and get it together—yer brother’s comin’ up the stairs!” 
 
de 
 
 
 
 q 
 
 “No! You'd better stay in tonight.” 
 
 
 
 “Please, Papa, could I have ten cents “Yahoo! Wowoo! Woo! Yahoo!” “Hey, Freddie! Yoo hoo! 
 
 “Remember! Back here at nine and 
 
 
 
 NG ie 
 Z 
 
 
 
 
 TMZ 
 
 
 
 2S LZ 2 q YY 
 Sr] : Lh FD 
 [Pe anaebapay bape, can 1 go to the “Aw, Papa! What’ll Freddie say if “Even the kids is beginnin’ to point 
 movies? Freddie wants me to. Can I break the date? Can I, Papa, go?” me out as the guy what never gets 
 Deinahs papa?” “It'll be dark before you get back.” let out—it’s the talk of the town— 
 
 yes, sit! 
 
 “Oh, well, go on, but you be back as 
 aioe sy) ES ” 
 soon as it’s over! 
 
 iu 
 
 A: Gee eles STE EE 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 ———s= 
 
 
 
 <a A 
 SS ES 
 
 
 
 
 
 EVEN OS 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 S— K - a 
 i G = 
 
 Eggenee 
 
 for Freddie or somethin’ ?” awbenee owie oopenie!” 
 
 no ringing of door bells!” 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 ANY THE 
 THREE HAWARp 
 
 Wea ee 
 
 
 
 = 
 
 “Listen, Freddie! See if ya can go - “No, Skippy! I can’t go!” “Gee! I never seen such a town! 
 
 to the movies like I ast ya to.” Nobody gets allowed out after dark.” 
 “Wait! Pop’s drinkin’ his cawfee!” 
 

 
 THE LAST STRAW 
 “You can have this one, lady, I only used one end.” 
 
 
 

 
 Kid: Butch sez if ya come down on “He knock the stuffin’ outa me— “Skippy sez ye’re a big stiff ’n’ yer 
 
 the corner Oo ae knock the  stuffin’ I love that.” ole man’s always outa work ’n’ he’s 
 out’n ya. ri comin’ down ’n’ knock f 
 Skippy: Tell him I'll go down there ; ya hat!” Pea cay, 
 
 all I want to. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 fo 
 eOnr Tf T ever git me hands on that Skippy! “_°N? then anudder left ona right. Athen, 
 I c’d swing for me thoughts.” Oh! ’n’ then me awful uppercut!” 
 
 
 
 “Still I gotta pull me uppercut if “Give me a stand-up, huh! Just for Jf 
 I wanta save meself the expense of that I won’t pull me uppercut!” nothin’ ! 
 a hoise.” 
 
 Skippy: I notice he didn’t start 
 
—— ee 
 
 
 
 
 
 LET 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 W/ 
 y ' 
 
 Ws yy ~ a 
 < yy ‘4 ip 
 \ 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 “Well, I showed up the teacher before the whole class again to-day !” 
 “Yeh? Wise us up!” 
 “She asked me for Lincoln’s Gettysboig address ’n’ I had to tell her he never lived there. Oh! 
 Ya shoulda hear the class laugh then.” 
 
jo = 
 Friend: It’s the awfullest storm I ever see ’n’ all 
 because ya swiped the biggest apple in the store. 
 
 I’m afraid to have you near me with a stolen apple. 
 Skippy: I’m glad now I didn’t take a watermelon. 
 
 
 
 ~ Friend: Listen to that terrible thunder! Remember 
 
 I said, “Don’t steal!” ’n’ you did. Now I’m afraid 
 
 the place is goin’ to get struck ’n’ me without so 
 much as a Sunday School ticket in me hand. 
 
 
 
 oan 
 
 
 
 Friend: Don’t hold it near me! I didn’t steal it! Skippy: I’m goin’ to chuck it away! This storm’s 
 You did! I’m scared to be in the same house with gettin’ too awful to take any more chances. 
 it! Stolen apple. 
 Skippy: It'd be just my luck to get struck dead, 
 then find there was a worm in the darn thing! 
 
 
 
 Skippy: It’s lettin’ up now so IJ think I'll run home. Friend: Imagine him stoopin’ so low as to take that 
 apple again! Pretty small pertatoes, I calls it! 
 

 
 Friend: Well, slong, Skippy. I have to Skippy: I better wait till he gets up the 
 hurry home. I shoulda been home hours block a ways before I go in. 
 
 ago. 
 Skippy: Me too. Tm an hour late for 
 supper already. 
 
 
 
 “Pretty small potatoes, I call it!” “Liar! Double .crosser! Stool pigeon! 
 Piker! Oh, cheap, cheap!” 
 
 
 
 Friend: YVll show ya I’m a Friend: Tails! You lose! Skippy: Liar! Double crosser! 
 sport, Skippy. Let’s toss to see Skippy: All right! Two out o’ Stool Pigeon! Piker! Oh, 
 who pays for both drinks. What ~ three, let’s go! cheap, cheap! 
 
 d’ya cry? Friend: Two out o’ three 
 Skippy: Nothin’ can be fairer nothin’! You lose! 
 
 than that—heads ! 
 
 err yy 
 

 
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 AQ 
 
 
 
 
 
 PAPA PROMISED SKIPPY TEN CENTS A WEEK TO. KEEP THE NEIGHBOR’S ROOSTER 
 OUT OF THE NEW GARDEN 
 
m7 steel 
 
 
 
 SKIPPY’S FATHER INVITES HIS EMPLOYER 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 ' \ ' /) 
 M4 ‘ ; | d™ . > 
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 - =. A) ” ae |b hy Mh a Zi ‘\\ 
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 - NY fy. ty ye - Pal MUAY, ip % gs... ‘ 
 ef LO 
 
 Yi J = ed liam. UP fo Yip: 2 
 Wa) | LS Le “ Mp 
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 ke 
 19 
 
 , Who's been at 
 a ee Powder ? 
 
 
 
 Wé ‘a iv 
 7" 
 
 
 
 20 Zi 
 OUT TO SPEND THE 4TH WITH THE FAMILY 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 THE CARPENTERS TOLD THE BOYS NOT TO TAKE WOOD MORE THAN A FOOT LONG 
 
 
 

 
 “Mr. Skippy, dast I have a word wid you?” 
 “No! Ya can’t play second base!” 
 
 “Remember I played second base on the Orioles 
 ’1’ the Magnolias. They don’t come no better’n 
 the Orioles, Mr. Skippy. Oh, can’t I play 
 second base? Huh, Mr. Skippy, can I, please ? 
 Play second base, after, can I?” 
 “No! No! N—o—no!” 
 
 
 
 “Listen, Mr. Skippy! I even got writed to by “Mr. Skippy! 
 the Orioles ’n’ the Magnolias astin’ me to come 
 
 back to the ole bag—may I git socked wid a 
 thunder bolt, Skippy, please, huh? Can I after, 
 
 At second base not’in’ gits by 
 me. Let’s, huh, Mr. Skippy? Will ya? Can I? 
 Huh, after can 1? Huh?” 
 
 “Gwan home!” 
 huh, Mr. Skippy ?” 
 “No! No! No! No!” 
 
 
 
 
 ae, 
 AIS 
 
 poly 
 
 Late 
 ull (UU 
 
 — an b 
 
 
 
 “After can I? Will ya? Let me play second 
 base? Should I? After, huh, won’t I, Mr. 
 Skippy ?” 
 
 “How about third base then?” 
 

 
 Catcher: Twenty-four runs ya 
 give ’em already ’n’ only the foist 
 innin’. They don’t come no rot- 
 tiner than you! 
 Skippy: Oh, is that so? 
 
 ya hit that! 
 
 
 
 Players: Ya’re terrible! Awful! Skippy: Some catcher! A south- 
 Let somebody pitch what can pitch. paw up ’n’ he signals for an in- 
 
 Twenty-five runs already! shoot! Ugh! Uh! No! Ugh! 
 Skippy: Now leave this to me, Uh! Ah! The h—— with him! 
 
 fellers! Tll pitch what I want! 
 
 
 
 Skippy: I suppose I’ll have to use 
 
 my ole spitball, only nobody’ll 
 
 know it! Simple disgustful—that’s 
 what it is! 
 
 Team: We don’t want no merry-go- 
 round! Give him a sock in the nose, 
 somebody! Fire him off’n the team! 
 Let’s get a pitcher! All afternoon ’n’ 
 only the first innin’ already! 
 Skippy: All right, fellers! Let’s go! 
 
 
 
 
 
 Play ball! 
 
 Sip \ 
 ie =~ OU 
 \ a 
 eae 
 
 Skippy: Now*for a triple play! 
 
 Skippy: All right, batter, let’s see 
 
 Team: Moider ’im! Don’t be greedy 
 —let me get a crack at ’im! The stars 
 oy is comin’ out ’n’ we ain’t even been up 
 yet! Take this ’n’ Mee We'll learn 
 
 ya! 
 
 
 
 3 oe’ 
 
 Skippy: Tst! Tst! Tst! 
 
 
 
 
 
 Skippy: Hit this, ya rinsed-out 
 toad! 
 
 ee 
 
 lett 
 
 4 
 
 i 7 Permmviereremeniny, 
 
 Skippy: Looka here, fellers! 
 I ain't gettin’ the support like 
 I oughta! 
 

 
 Skippy: If I had to go ’n’ had one very, very last 
 wish before I passed away—do ya know what Id 
 ask for? 
 
 Sooky: A chawklet aclair ! 
 
 Skippy: No! Listen, I’m kickin’ the bucket; see! 
 ’N’ I kin have one wish granted before I go. Now 
 do ya know what I’d ask for? 
 
 Sooky: A vanilla aclair! 
 
 
 
 Skippy: No! Listen! I’m going to be hung, see! 
 ’N’ the hanger says to me, “What’s on ya mind?” 
 “Oh, nothin’ but me hat!” I sez, ’n’ he comes back 
 ’n’ sez, “You seem to talk like a reg’lar guy—is 
 there anything we kin do to make ya happy before 
 we croak ya?” Then he sez, “Ya kin have anything 
 ya ask for.” What do ya think I’d ask for? 
 Sooky: A chawklet and a vanilla aclair. 
 
 Skippy: There goes Danny Dowd, the cop! He’s 
 a reg’lar guy, don’t ya think—for a cop, I mean? 
 Sooky: I hope to tell you, he’s a reg’lar guy! 
 
 
 
 Skippy: What was we talkin’ about? 
 Sooky: Huh! Darned if I kin think! 
 
 Skippy: Oh, well! Maybe it'll come to me again. 
 

 
 
 
 D (té fs HM} Il } on 
 Bf I pai wr 
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 —S=_ 
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 _ =e i ZZ 
 
 “And this is the Christmas present ya gived me, huh, Freddie? The very exackly book I gived 
 you for yer birthday!” - 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 y eae LENG rns 
 To 
 Ww WNilian. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 1. ——_N S 
 mani ie 
 AWLP 
 wy WUE viy 
 _ Father: Now you know when I tell you to Skippy: And—I—t-thought—y-you—were— 
 do a thing I mean it. m-my—p-pal. 
 
 
 
 
 
 “W-we'll n-never be f-friends again, n-n-no, 
 ken’ “N-never—n-no—m-more.” 
 
 
 
 Father: Come on, son. Let’s forget all this. 
 Daddy’s your pal. Listen, when I come home 
 I’m going to bring you some nice chocolate 
 
 ice cream. 
 “T-]-I—d-don’t—want—any—c-ch-chocolate 
 ice—c-cream. “G-get—s-strawb—berry.” 
 
 
 

 
 etter 
 
 
 
 “Why do fish like woims?” ; 
 “Maybe they don’t. P’r’aps they think it’s toikey.” 
 
 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 “Look at the football! Around all “And your sled and skates. Now you trot up to 
 winter, under everybody’s feet.” the attic with all this stuff.” 
 
 
 
 
 
 “Be sure to put them where “Tt’s a beautiful day to be glad “Thank goodness, this place is 
 you got them.” toh Geb I STER Gi eR Ib RY: cleaned at last.” 
 
 
 
 Mother (hearing Skippy in next room) : 
 Did you put all those things in the attic? 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 E BLACK SHEEP 
 
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 watt Alor 
 
 
 
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 “For a long time Skippy pondered over the idea of prowling around the sky carrying a satchelful of stars.” 
 
 Skippy Joins the Kiddie Klub 
 
 ANNOUNCER: 
 “Cousin Gussie will 
 now talk to her little 
 Kiddie Klubbers.” 
 Cousin Gussie: 
 “Good evening, little 
 Kiddie Klubbers. 
 This evening Cousin 
 Gussie promised to read some of the 
 
 
 
 many, many letters she has received - 
 
 from Kiddie Klubbers, and of course 
 Cousin Gussie never goes back on a 
 promise. 
 
 “You will remember that Cousin Gus- 
 sie asked her little pets to write to her 
 about the little woodland folk. The 
 first letter is from Charles, who writes: 
 ‘Dear Cousin Gussie: Them woodland 
 
 folks I likes best is elephants and her- . 
 
 mits (are elephants and hermits, 
 Charles) but if I had a million dollars 
 I would buy a Battleship with my name 
 in gold letters.’ 
 
 “I am afraid Charles has missed the 
 idea of our little Kiddie Klub com- 
 pletely. Perhaps Charles was not listen- 
 ing to what Cousin Gussie said about 
 firearms on Wednesday last. 
 
 “Cousin Gussie sent out a number of 
 Kiddie Klub buttons in return for ten 
 cents in stamps, but Joseph has been 
 entirely misled. This is what Joseph 
 writes: ‘Cousin Gussie: (No ‘dear’ or 
 anything, just ‘Cousin Gussie’!) You 
 ‘said when I had my button pinned on I 
 could act as a guide to all dumb ani- 
 mals, You are wrong, cousin, because 
 when I tried to direct traffic up on 
 the avenue, a great big cop give me a 
 kick in the slats—.’ Now what Cousin 
 Gussie meant by ‘guide’ was not to direct 
 traffic but kindness to the little animals 
 in the woodland. Cousin Gussie will 
 
 have to ask Joseph for the return of 
 his button. 
 
 “Next I have a letter from Maurice, 
 who was greatly impressed with Cousin 
 Gussie’s warning about the use of alco- 
 hol and tobacco; however, I feel that 
 he overstepped our Kiddie Klub Alma 
 Mater when he gave a box of his 
 father’s cigars to the iceman. 
 
 
 
 “He pictured himself floating through 
 space garbed in his official attire.’ 
 
 “The time is short, but I just know 
 my little bunnies will love to hear what 
 our little co-worker, Skippy, writes. 
 He says: ‘Dear Cousin Gussie: I am 
 very smart. I am only nine years old. 
 The principal asked the class what the 
 largest state was and nobody knew but 
 me and I said Russia and he whispered 
 to the teacher, “Very, very good! Bright 
 boy! Oh, smart! Smart!” I have a lot 
 of Sunday School tickets too, Cousin 
 Gussie.’ 
 
 “Skippy enclosed eight cents in 
 stamps for one of our little buttons, 
 thinking, perhaps, that the stamp on the 
 envelope was counted in, so if he will 
 forward a two-cent stamp, Cousin Gus- 
 sie will mail a button. When Skippy 
 goes to Heaven, Cousin Gussie is going 
 to tell the angels to let him hang out 
 all the stars for being such a good boy. 
 Good night, my little pansies.” 
 
 For a long time, Skippy pondered 
 over the idea of prowling around the 
 sky, carrying a satchelful of stars, but 
 it left him cold as he thought that he 
 would be without a gallery. He then 
 pictured himself floating through space 
 with pretty Marie at his side, but the 
 image of himself garbed in his official 
 attire sent the blood burning to his 
 cheeks. He wondered about the possi- 
 bility of dropping his wares on houses 
 and burning whole towns. Concluding 
 that somebody else would surely get 
 
 the credit for it left him so sick at = 
 heart that he sent off the following a 
 note: Bo 
 
 ’ Dear cusin gusy a4 
 
 no you dont go tellin the angels 
 ill go hanging out there stars be- 
 
 
 
 
 
 cause wot have we got angels fore ; iz 
 an beesides I woodent no mi way — F 
 around. i dont mind rollin the moon — aoe 
 out wuns in awhile tho if that aint Z 
 
 taken an . Be» 
 
 caniplay 4 oR 
 
 a drum 
 
 insted of SESS= 
 
 auharp.tacw 
 
 skippy 
 p. s. Joseph 
 seems like a 
 regula gie does 
 he get his ten 
 cents back. 
 
 ~~ 
 
 « 
 
 ee Pe Leer 
 

 
 Skippy: There’s Butch O’Leary, fellers. Are ya game to 
 rush him and tear him limb from limb and beat him 
 up? Are ya with me when I give the signal? 
 Crowd: You betcha! 
 Skippy: All right. When I count three, up and at him. 
 One—two— 
 
 
 
 Butch O’Leary: Darned if I’d wanta play hare and 
 hounds in this weather. 
 

 
 “What are you crying for?” 
 “T forget.” 
 
 “Then why do you cry?” 
 “°’Cause I can’t remember.” 
 

 
 SKIPPY’S PAL SPENDS THE NIGHT WITH HIM 
 

 
 
 
 
 y a Zz 
 [SYP <= 
 
 
 
 
 
 ear ce. ; BA. at eX EAA === : 
 ARS LA ———-_—__ ——_ ON 8A 
 (SN ee 0) ae 
 L ON eSSEEEZZE SS SS J ah Lily 
 “The man sez ya must bring in the glass now, ya had it out dere long 
 
 enough!” 
 
 
 
 “S’matter wid de kid?” 
 “Oh, he just eat some apples ’n’ they don’t fit. 
 
 ” 
 
FESTIVAL AT 
 THE CHURCH 
 TO DAY 
 
 
 

 
 “Now we're goin’ to fight!” 
 “W-what’s the gang for?” 
 “They’re just here to see that I get a square deal.” 
 
 ‘Ss 
 - 
 

 
 Sooky: Do ya wanta know how 
 
 to make five dollars? All ya 
 
 have to do is sell a pianer for 
 a hundred. 
 
 Skippy: Gee! Can you imagine! 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 et, woe 
 
 
 
 “So it’s pianers ye’re sellin’ now, 
 is it? One time it’s soap to 
 win a radio ’n’ next time it’s 
 tin-cint jew’lry ’n’ awtygraf 
 albums. It’s a wonder ya ain't 
 peddled the Brooklyn Bridge 
 
 ’ 
 
 KOZ, 
 
 yet. 
 
 
 
 
 Lady: How can you sell me 
 a piano if you don’t know who 
 owns it? 
 
 “T know I’m goin’ to get five 
 dollars when I sell it!” 
 “From whom?” 
 
 “T don’t know off-hand.” 
 “Well, find out more about this 
 piano. I need one.” 
 
 
 
 
 
 “Do ya wanta buy a pianer for 
 
 a hundred dollars, Mrs. Hart? 
 
 I get five dollars for sellin’ it.” 
 
 “Y’m atraid not, Skippy; we’ve 
 
 got a zither and a harmonica 
 and that’s plenty.” 
 
 
 
 Skippy: Well, now, Mrs. Fini- 
 
 gan, can I[ interest you in an 
 
 elegant pianer? Only a hun- 
 
 dred dollars. You could easily 
 
 make that up in three washin’s. 
 
 “No, I got a phonograph ’n’ a 
 record.” 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 Skippy: Quick! Who—who— 
 
 who—w-wants—t-to—sell—a— 
 
 pianer —f-for—a—h-hundred— 
 dollars? 
 
 “Do ya think ya could use a 
 
 very elegant pianer, Mrs. Da- 
 
 vis? Only a hundred dollars.” 
 
 “No, thanks, Skippy, we don’t 
 
 use them; besides, a hundred 
 
 dollars is a hundred dollars 
 in any language.” 
 
 
 
 Skippy: ’N’ such music! Ya 
 
 just close ya eyes ’n’ think of 
 
 the movies. All for a hun- 
 dred _ dollars. 
 
 Lady: Where is that piano? 
 “TI don’t know where is that 
 pianer now.” 
 
 “Who wants to sell it?” 
 “T—I don’t know.” 
 
 uy 
 eee 
 
 Sooky: Oh, I don’t know that! 
 I just heard it or someone told 
 
 me or somethin’. I dunno. 
 

 
 Radio Voice: This is station WEX talking. The 
 
 next number on the program will be Paul 
 
 Whiteman and his jazz orchestra playing “The 
 imehouse Blues.” 
 
 
 
 
 
 (7X | 
 4  |@ 6 o| 
 Pe ee ————_ ee 
 
 DO AN | 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 Skippy: Just a thought—they’re 
 at. 
 
Skippy Tries It on the Dog 
 
 Aunt Sarah (reading from “Pus- 
 sy Tiptoes and Other Stories”): 
 Ned’s dog was named Frisk because 
 he was forever running hither and 
 thither. “Bow wow,” barked Frisk 
 as Ned’s dearest friend, Wentworth, 
 approached. “Bow wow, bow wow,” 
 barked Frisk again, as much as to 
 say, “Good morning, Wentworth.” 
 
 “Ah, -Frisk, good fellow,’ said 
 Wentworth, patting him on the head. 
 I'risk pranced with joy, knowing that 
 the fun-loving pair would toss stones 
 in the brook, and bounded ahead 
 with a joyous “Bow wow.” 
 
 “Mother told me you are going to 
 spend the summer at the seaside, 
 Ned,” said Wentworth, taking his 
 friend’s hand as they started for 
 their early morning stroll. 
 
 “True, Wentworth, we are going 
 to the seaside.” 
 
 “T shall feel quite lonely without 
 you,” said Wentworth, trying to hide 
 his tears. 
 
 
 
 Aunt Sarah: Why can’t my little 
 
 Skippy be as nice and well mannered 
 
 as Wentworth and Ned? Now run 
 
 along and play with Rover like a 
 nice little boy. 
 
 
 
 
 
 “Why, Wentworth, I shall write, 
 but I fear you will forget me.” 
 
 “Indeed no!” maintained Went- 
 worth. 
 
 “My friend!” cried Ned, giving 
 Wentworth’s hand a tiny squeeze. 
 
 “What a lovely place for a 
 school,” cried Wentworth, pointing 
 to a pasture. 
 
 “T shall miss school dreadfully 
 while at the seaside.” 
 
 They were interrupted by the 
 barks of Frisk. That meddlesome 
 fellow had poked his nose in a bird’s 
 nest, only to receive a peck for his 
 trouble. Frisk made Wentworth 
 laugh merrily with his antics. 
 
 “It’s a Bobolink,” said Ned. 
 
 "Why, Ned, it’s the Oriole,’ 
 laughed Wentworth. 
 
 Skippy: Ten to one it was a 
 Pigeon. 
 
 As Wentworth and Ned retraced 
 their steps, they laughed heartily over 
 the morning’s adventure. 
 
 Skippy: I don't call that no 
 adventure. 
 
 Aunt Sarah: Frisk was loath to 
 see his friends part and had to be 
 summoned by Ned, who called, 
 “Come, Frisk! Good fellow, come!” 
 
 
 
 Skippy: Come, Rover! Good 
 fellow! Come! 
 
 
 
 Skippy: Come over here! You 
 flea-bitten mutt, before I break 
 ya in two. 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 The one time Grandpa had a chance to run off the 
 
 entire pack. 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 v 
 
 ~ Mother’s Voice: Skippy, did you 
 brush your teeth? 
 
 i” 
 
 - Skippy: To-morrow morning I am, Mother’s Voice: Now! 
 Mamma, to-morrow morning! wok 
 
 THE NIGHT THE FURNACE WAS OUT OF ORDER 
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 “T caught me big sister smokin’.” 
 
 “Did ya bawl her out?” 
 Slilisayledid. 
 
 
 
 “Popes maybe—huh, Skippy, d’ya think?” 
 “Naw! It’s that Eyetalian navy again!” 
 

 
 
 
 Skippy: Listen, Sooky! Mr. Powers 
 
 is goin’\to sell his boat for a dollar 
 
 only. I got fifty cents. Now if you 
 
 can dig up fifty cents we can be 
 partners. 
 
 Sooky: Sure! I got fifty cents 
 on me. 
 
 > 
 
 ear? 
 
 Sooky: I paid fifty cents for that boat 
 
 death 
 
 n’ it’s mine! 
 
 “T’ll show you whose boat that is.” 
 
 
 
 Skippy: You bring back that boat, d’ya 
 h 
 
 Skippy: Now we're partners. You 
 take the boat out Monday, ’n’ I’ll 
 take it out Tuesday, ’n’ you take it 
 out Wednesday, ’n’ I'll take it out 
 Thursday, ’n’ so on like that! 
 Sooky: You betcha! What’s mine 
 is yourn ’n’ what’s yourn is mine. 
 
 Skippy: Hey! Yesterday was Monday. 
 Sooky: I thought yesterday was Tuesday. 
 “Veh, but ya was out in it yesterday, too!” 
 “Ah, I can’t be thinkin’ o’ dates like that!” 
 “T want the boat right now, ’n’ besides, I 
 don’t want no canaries took out in it.” 
 “Don’t be callin’ this little crow a 
 
 
 
 
 
 Sooky: Don’t be bustin’ up an excursion! Re- 
 member we got a lunch to think of. 
 Skippy: I’m goin’ to get that boat to-morrow. 
 “IT can’t let ya have this boat to-morrow ’cause 
 we're movin. 
 
 »>») 
 
 
 
 Skippy: Here I am tied up as a partner for life, 
 
 maybe forever. He won’t sell out nor nothin.’ Oh 
 
 why did I ever get took in by such riff-raff? Be- “Yes, I do. 
 lieve me! I'll get that boat to-morrow! 
 
 
 
 Sooky: If anybody’d tole me I wouldn’t ’a’ b’leeved 
 it! I wouldn’t ’a’ b’leeved it! But with me very 
 own eyes I see it! My partner! It’s busting me 
 
 heart ! 
 
 Skippy: After all,*he is my partner. 
 
 Sooky: I ask you, Skippy, in a nice way I ask 
 ; it. Do you call this a square deal? 
 I give you the biggest half.” 
 
 
 
 Roi ceed 
 “acy 
 
 Skippy: As I was sayin’ before, you take it out 
 Monday, ’n’ I'll take it out Tuesday, ’n’ you take 
 it out Wednesday, ’n’ I’ll take it out Thursday, ’n’ 
 
 so on like that. 
 
 Sooky: You betcha! What’s mine is yourn n’ 
 
 what’s yourn is mine, only I wouldn’t go sawin’ 
 
 off 
 
 any more, Skippy. 
 

 
 TO THE VICTOR BELONGS THE GUM 
 
 
 
 “Great! Ain’t it?” “4 
 “Yes, but I hate to think o’ the firemen we’re throwin’ _ : 
 outa work!” ‘ 
 
 
 

 
 Skippy: Gee, this looks good. I was never so thirsty 
 before. : 
 Sooky: Don’t wait for me—drink up! 
 
 Skippy: I don’t suppose you'd ask a feller to come in ny 
 have a drink, would ya, I don’t suppose? 
 Sooky: Sure! I gotta ’nother dime—what’ll ya have? 
 Skippy: Vil take the same as you. 
 
 Sooky: ’Nother one o’ these, Mr. Brown. 
 
 
 
 Skippy: Traitor! Why didn’t ya tell me there was cas- 
 tor oil in it? 
 Sooky: You never asked me! 
 
 
 
 Skippys Oo-wook! 
 
YN 
 e722) 
 apy ail 
 
 i 
 fy 
 
 4 
 
 Mh NN 
 i 6M 
 
 iN 
 s \ 
 hi 
 
 All I - “This—wow !” 
 
 “Ya teased him, that’s “T did not neither ! 
 why !” did was— 
 
 
 
 “Hey! Your parrot nipped 
 me finger.” 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 a ca aln 
 = \\f a 
 ascii a iN As 
 es: 
 = Pru g 
 || | 
 
 \ eS | 
 ea ipe Y 
 att ig. MiG 
 
 hs 
 “Aw, the h—— wid it! I can’t get this daylight savin’ 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 Ay | 
 
 
 
 \ 
 \ | 
 : rel 
 time trew me nut!’ 
 

 
 Skippy: A chawklet soda! Skippy: Wait! How much is the Man: Who knows, maybe it’s 
 strawberry ? watermelon ye’re after. 
 Man: Same price—well, what’s it goin’ Skippy: Have ya got watermelon? 
 to be, strawberry or chawklet ? 
 Skippy: Guess ya better make it lemon. 
 
 
 
 
 
 Man: Oh! Get the h outa here! Skippy: So! Then ya don’t want my “There's no holdin’ him since he’s 
 Skippy: Why, Mr. Barkenteen! trade, huh, Mr. Barkenteen? been gettin’ the canary pennies. 
 “l’m so sure of it that I’ll be crackin’ Don’t need my trade, ho-ho. I'll 
 
 somethin’ besides ice if ya don’t beat it.” split me sides laffin’!” 
 
 “Well, big boy, if I don’t see ya again, 
 merry Christmas!” 
 
 
 
 _ Skippy: Well, I must say, Mrs. Dusenberry certainly does turn 
 
 Skippy: A pineapple soda, Mrs. 
 out a very elegant soda! 
 
 Dusenberry, and I want to take 
 it out. 
 

 
 “That’s no way to do! The man shoulda never started to build him a 
 house if he didn’t know how to finish it.” 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 What Skippy wanted to do the first time his mother 
 took him to a department store 
 
JF ke 
 G St 
 
 CN Yp 
 
 As 
 
 ‘\ 
 
 
 
 Young Brother: Mama, ya know the Skippy: Lies! Lies! Nothing but lies! 
 towel with all the pretty forget-me- I never did! Oooh!, How he can make 
 nots ’broidered on the ‘“S”—Skippy up stories. 
 
 
 
 Young Brother: Lies is it Mamma? Skippy: S’help me if I ain’t crossin’ 
 
 Lies? Come up ’n’ see if ya don’t my heart, Mamma! I didn’t dirty up 
 
 b’lieve it. All black! And on the the guest towel! 
 forget-me-nots, too. Ya Ciduen ide Did)! 
 
 Mother’s Voice: That’s enough! I'll 
 see you later, Skippy! 
 
 tA y 
 
 
 
 Skippy: So! My own flesh ’n’ blood 
 throws me down cold, huh? Well, “Tt was the minister.” 
 I'll tell ya who wiped his hands on 
 
 that lovely towel—— 
 

 
 Skippy: Listen, Sooky! If ya> want Skippy: Tell her ya should have the Skippy: ’N’ big thick juicy steaks 
 
 to make the team ya gotta tell ya top of the milk every morning ’n’ ’n’ chops with spinach ’n’ mashed 
 mother to cut out feedin’ ya buns oatmeal with plenty of rich cream. potatoes. 
 and coffee. Sooky: Yeh! Ugh! Huh! You bet! Sooky: M—m—m! Oh, boy! 
 
 Sooky: Now ye’re talkin’, 
 
 
 
 ; 
 > 
 s 
 “& 
 i 
 yaad 
 Skippy: Imagine! Buns and coffee! Skippy:’N’ plenty o’ fresh eggs ’n’ Sooky: Vl tell the world! 
 
 rich creamy butter. 
 
 
 
 Sooky: Look here, Mom! Ya gotta 
 cut out feedin’ me buns ’n’ coffee! 
 Skippy sez I gotta have the top o’ 
 
 ’ yo? 
 
 the milk every mornin’ ’n’ oatmeal 
 
 
 
 with rich cream ’n’ thick juicy steaks Skippy: The same old stuff! Steak ’n’ 
 
 ’n’ chops ’n’ spinach ’n’ mashed pota- mashed potatoes ’n’ spinach ’n’ milk. If 
 
 toes ’n’ plenty o’ fresh. eggs ’n’ rich Sooky is let have buns and coffee, I should — 
 creamy butter, Skippy sez. be let have buns and coffee. 
 
 ; 
 
7 ite 
 
 iets 
 ole ’ 
 
 
 

 
RESEARCH INSTITUTE 
 
 iil iN IMUM 
 

 
 “<And now, little kiddies, what do you 
 think Peter Rabbit answered ?—”