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William Brendon & Se Led Dea: CONTENTS Edward, first Eart or ROEHAMPTON in the ae) of Surrey, deceased Archibald, fifteenth Baron Carvin of Peebles in North Britain Henry de la Tour Albert St. oe Chase, Se, known as Lorp Henry CuHasE ; Thomas, second Baron Herycate of Bayswater in the County of London Percy, first Eart or Epsom, in the County of Surrey Arthur Weekes, commonly known as Lorp FINcHLEY, Eldest Son and Heir of Charles, first Baron Hendon Ali-Baba, first (and last) Baron Aut-Bapa of Salonika George Punter, commonly known as Lorp Hippo, Eldest Son and Heir of Peter, sixth Earl of Potamus Baron UncLte Tom of Maarfontein in the Britains Over Seas William, eighth Eart Lucky, subsequent fifth Duke of Bradford ; Christopher, sixth Baron CANTON Alcibiades, third Baron Axsotr of Prakley in South- amptonshire ; : 3 PAGE + . en) Bs we - or > Per 4 s eS nad = 2 ee, OS Sie = " ) a . - > a ~ : E ? . 7 = a est oP ia I oe ha ae Be Pe et, ‘ MORE PEERS Lord Roehampton During a late election Lord Roehampton strained a vocal chord From shouting, very loud and high, To lots and lots of people why The Budget in his own opin- -Ion should not be allowed to win. MORE PEERS sought a Specialist, who said: “You have a swelling in the head: Your Larynx is a thought relaxed And you are greatly over-taxed.” MORE PEERS “Tam indeed! On every side!” The Earl (for such he was) replied Pe oarse excitement... ,¢°Oh! My Lord, You jeopardize your vocal chord!” Broke in the worthy Specialist. “Come! Here’s the treatment! I insist! To Bed! to Bed! And do not speak A single word till Wednesday week, When I will come and set you free (If you are cured) and take my fee.” Ps MORE PEERS On Wednesday week the Doctor hires A Brand-new Car with Brand-new Tyres And Brand-new Chauffeur all complete For visiting South Audley Street. But what is this? No Union Jack Floats on the Stables at the back! No offs escorting Ladies fair Perambulate the Gay Parterre. A 'Scutcheon hanging lozenge-wise And draped in crape appals his eyes Upon the mansion’s ample door, To which he wades through caer D 8 E v {Fin a VERE S 5 ee" ar Sete fe heaps of Straw,” And which a Butler * This is the first and only time That I have used this sort of Rhyme, MORE PEERS F ha, SLE: fe a a, drowned in tears, On opening but confirms his fe One oirl——Prepare to’he ars: ar the worst! . Last night my kind old master burst. And what is more, I doubt if he Has left enough to pay your fee. The Budget——” IO MORE PEERS With a dreadful oath, The Specialist, denouncing both The Budget avd the House of Lords, Buzzed angrily Bayswaterwards. And ever since, as I am told, Gets it beforehand ; and in gold, MORE PEERS 11 Lord Calvin Lord Calvin thought the Bishops should not sit As Peers of Parliament. | And areued it | In spite of which, for years, and years, and years, They went on sitting with their fellow-peers. MORE PEERS Lord Henry Chase What happened to Lord Henry Chase? He got into a ~~ Eber Lhe Daily Fowl had said that he— But could not prove it perfectly To Judge or Jury’s satisfaction : His Lordship, therefore, MORE PEERS won the action. But, as the damages were small, 14 MORE PEERS t) . Ata 010 He gave them to a Hospital. MORE PEERS Lord Heygate Lorp Heyeate had a troubled face, His furniture was commonplace— The sort of Peer who well might pass For someone of the middle class. I do not think you want to hear About this unimportant Peer, So let us leave him to discourse About Lorp Epsom and his horse. MORE PEERS Lord Epsom A Horse, Lord Epsom did bestride With mastery and quiet pride. He dug his spurs into its hide. B MORE PEERS 17 The Horse, discerning it was pricked, Incontinently MORE PEERS | bucked and kicked, A thing that no one could predict ! Lord Epsom clearly understood. The High-bred creature’s nervous mood, MORE PEERS As only such a horseman could, 20 MORE PEERS Dismounting, MORE PEERS 21 he was heard to say That it was kinder to delay His pleasure to a future day He had the Hunter led away. B * eo MORE PEERS Lord Finchley Lord Finchley tried to mend the Electric Light — Himself. MORE PEERS 23 It struck him dead: And serve him right! It is the business of the wealthy man To give employment to the artisan, MORE PEERS Lord Ali-Baba Lord Ali-Baba was a Turk Who hated every kind of work, And would repose for hours at ease With Houris seated on his knees. A happy Itfe !—Until, one day MORE PEERS MR ’ Ta MITTEE ery ty se $5 S ce rd Maen yf’ bopeaey OL food ts eo ISSO. bs res 7 4 BSS N vsas, Mossoo Alphonse Effendi Bey (A Younger Turk: the very cream And essence of the New Regime) Dispelled this Oriental dream By granting him a place at Court, MORE PEERS High Coffee-grinder to the Porte, Unpaid = / wis : ay: ’ ths [ii Z s W %, Wil Bp aw & aul In which exalted Post His Lordship yielded up the ghost. MORE PEERS 27 Lord Hippo Lord Hippo suffered fearful loss By putting money on a horse Which he believed, if it were pressed, Would run far faster than the rest : For | MORE PEERS someone who was in the know Had confidently told him so. MORE PEERS | But on the morning of the race 29 30 MORE PEERS It only took h yy A 94 the seventh place | MORE PEERS | re Picture the Viscount’s great surprise | He scarcely could believe his eyes ! 31 MORE PEERS He sought the Individual who Had laid him odds at 9 to 2, Suggesting as a useful tip That they should enter Partnership And put to joint account the debt Arising from his foolish bet. But when the Bookie—oh! my word, I only wish you could have heard The way he roared he did not think, And hoped that they might strike him pink! Lord Hippo simply turned and ran : From this infuriated man. MORE PEERS 33 Despairing, maddened and distraught He utterly collapsed and sought His sire, the Earl of Potamus, And brokenly addressed him thus : “Dread Sire—to-day—at Ascot—I .. .” His genial parent made reply : Come! Come! Come! Come! Don’t look so glum! Trust your Papa and name the sum... . Cc 34 MORE PEERS Wuat? aA .. . Lfteen hundred thousand ? . . However . . . stiffen up, you wreck ; Boys will be boys—so here’s the cheque !” Lord Hippo, feeling deéply—well, More grateful than he cared to tell— Punted the lot on Little Nell :— And got a telegram at dinner To say MORE PEERS 35 — 3. I Sy \ ‘ that he had backed the Winner ! 36 MORE PEERS Lord Uncle Tom Lord Uncle ‘Tom was different -from What other nobles are. For they are yellow or pink, I think, But he was 3 black as tar. Uiass MORE PEERS | 37 He had his Father's debonair And rather easy pride: But his complexion and his hair Were from the mother’s side. 38 MORE PEERS He often mingled in debate — And latterly displayed Experience of peculiar weight Upon the Cocoa-trade. But now He speaks no more. The Birt Which he could not abide, It preyed upon his mind until He sickened, paled, and died. MORK PEERS Lord Lucky Lord Lucky, by a curious fluke, Became a most important duke. From living in a vile Hotel \l PTH A long way east of Camberwell ris MORE PEERS He rose, in less than half an hour, To riches, dignity and power. It happened in the following way :— The Real Duke went out one day To shoot with several people, one Y > LLTII> SLIP LLL LZ) al Ms iY Wipf A, 7 — all, ( 9 De Wi, Y et ° d t o> SiC se eee MORE PEERS At Of whom had never used a gun. This gentleman (a Mr. Meyer Of Rabley Abbey, Rutlandshire), As he was scrambling through the brake, me eA oe 7 —o iit a } 5 LEG Aj WT ¢. it 6 NS etl A i CLES i IK a Ws h 1 ‘ I ag } it ‘wa 19 ‘Discharged his weapon by mistake, And plugged about an ounce of lead Piff-bang into his Grace's Head—— Who naturally fell down dead. MORE PEERS His heir, Lord Ugly, roared, ‘You Brute! Take that to teach you how to shoot !” Whereat he volleyed, left and right ; But being somewhat short of sight, His right-hand Barrel only got The second heir, Lord Poddleplot ; The while the left-hand charge (or choke) Accounted for another bloke, Who stood with an astounded air Bewildered by the whole affair —And was the third remaining heir. MORE PEERS After the Execution (which Is something rare among the Rich) Lord Lucky, while of course he needed 43 44 MORE PEERS Some | help to prove their claim, succeeded. —But after his succession, though All this was over years ago, He only once indulged the whim Of asking Meyer to lunch with him. MORE PEERS 45 Lord Canton The reason that the Present Lord Canton Succeeded lately to his Brother John Was that his Brother John, the elder son, Died rather suddenly at forty-one. 46 MORE PEERS The insolence of an Italian guide Appears to be the reason that he died. MORE PEERS , Lord Abbott Lord Abbott's coronet was far too small, So small, that as he sauntered down White Hall Even the youthful Proletariat (Who probably mistook it for a Hat) Remarked on its exiguous extent. 48 MORE PEERS Here is a picture of the incident. TTY RESEARCH INSTITUT THU ti i 3 3125 01760 1671