TO THK ROYAL ACADEMY, BY THE GEMINI. / THE COMIC GUIDE TO THE ROYAL ACADEMY, FOR 1864. BY THE GEMINI. PEICE SIXPENCE. PRINTED AND PUBLISHED BY JOHN NICHOLS, MILTON STEAM PT.INTING OFEICES, CH.\NDOb STEEET, STRAND. 18G4. Digitized by the Internet Archive in 2018 with funding from Getty Research Institute https://archive.org/details/comicguidetoroyaOObeck PREFACE. We sliall liave three classes of readers. Firstly, those who are possessed of some extremely vague ideas about what they call the “ dignity ” of Art, and who suffer severely from some organic mystification on the subject. These gentlemen would regard with a sober and affectionate respect, a public house Sign-board, provided th;it it be framed, nailed to the Academy walls, and labelled “Indigestion,” or anything equally appropriate in the catalogue. It must be obvious that any effort to enlist the sympathies of these wild enthusiasts in favor of a “ Comic Guide ” would be fruitless. Their case is beyond us, and so not exactly knowing what to say to them, what wmiild be more grateful to their sobriety than to dismiss them with the stock quotation ? “ Quid placet er^? “ Lana Tareutino violas imitata veneno.” Secondly, we come to those who do know a bad thing when they see it, but also Imowing Brown, who has got a bad thing into the exhibition, talk about a “Comic Guide” being a “mistake” without any definite notion how ? or why ? Brown's work figm-es in the Catalogue thus. , King John lunching at Runnymede. Jive and twenty minutes after his perusal of Magna ChartaJ J. Brown, A. On the afternoon of the 1st of April, 1498, the King met the Barons at “ Eunnymede.” It was one of those scenes on the theatre of history, which have been termed the true “ benefits ” of that old IV. PREFACI!. stager the British constitution. Those who were present on the occasion will not easily forget it; the scowling monarch, the grumbling Barons, the frugal luncheon, the wet afternoon, the general savoir faire of the whole party, to say nothing of the “ great bulwark of English liberty ” itself, over which the King had prophetically* upset the half-and-half, all went to made up a scene that can be better described than imagined. “ PinocTi’s 8ehool Abridgment," Now Brown’s friends know “ King John ” well. He is Brown’s gardener in a property crown, some steel leg¬ gings and a bit of damask. The “Barons,” they have not met personally, but they know them to be a stagey ungentlemanly set of fellows, whose only characteristics as the champions of English liberty, to judge from their expressions and style, appear to be chronic dyspepsia, a taste for posturing, and a keen sense of the ridiculous. However, we may talk of “ breadth,” “vigour,” “treatment,” anything, but we must not say this. So as we certainly shall, we must make enemies of Brown and his friends. Lastly, we come to those who know that as in the world, so in the Eoyal Academy, the worst things often go to the wall, and knowing it—say it. It is here we look for friends. We have only to add that we have, with a few excep¬ tions, let excellence alone and laughed at mediocrity , or something below it, and with these few words, we put our “ brochure ” into the hands of the public. THE GEMINI. Supposed to allude to Charles I. or II., or even George II. 5 EAST EOOM. 15 Ahah and Jezebel . . . . E. Armitage. “ And Jezebel his wife said unto him, Dost thou now govern the kingdom of Israel ? arise, and eat bread, and let thine heart he merry ; I will give thee the vineyard of Naboth the JezreeUte.”—1 Kings xxi. 7. habit of sleeping on an inferior flock mattrass, going to bed in full regimentals, and using his crown as a night cap. The Royal Jew has evidently been severely irritated by a large bluebottle, and the satisfaction depicted in his pose, as Jezebel informs him that she has “ fixed ” and is about to make short work of the intrusive brute, does Mr. E. Armitage much credit. We must add that the thorough conscientiousness with which the artist has studied the habits of this exasperating insect deserves our warm appreciation. 30. H.R.H. The Prince of Wales, represented in the robe of the Most Exalted Order of the Star of India. T. Jensen., Id. Plain, 2d. Coloured. 36. “ Say Ta.’' .G. Leslie. A dirty child is required to give vent to a brief expression of gratitude for an orange—the matter is simple enough. Mr. Leslie produces a couple of young females, a fashionable novel, a preco¬ cious boy, some fishing tackle, an idiot, a canal barge—and the thing is done. 6 59. Summer song . ... Y. Goodall, R A. “ To tinkling lute lyghte merry lie weil sing, While fishes lefip, and birds are carolling.” Here we liavo five or six dreary revellers singing a “ stimmer song,’’ (whatever that may he,) with melancholy gravity. Appa- rently we see a picnic, but all the refreshment we can discover, consists of a table cloth, some red currant wine, and a pint pot. Are they waiting for the conventional sixpenny worth of liot water? It is time surely for the production of the tea and sugar from the pocket of that young lady in yellow. 97. “ Ordered on foreign service'^—Jintshed sketch for . R. Collinson. Here we have a dashing Cavalry Officer, exhibiting through the window of a second class carriage, his full uniform and accoutre¬ ments to an unappreciative Guard. That he is travelling by excursion is evident from the fact that the whole of his luggage has been taken from him and detained on the platform. We conclude, that Mr. R. Collinson, has been furnished by the Earl de Grey and RIpon v/ith the War Office Circular, enforcing this waggish regulation. 118. “ Charlie is mg darling^’’—Jacohite Song J. E. Millais, R.A. Elect. Before us is a young lady bawling out the secret of lier heart to the groom bringing out her horse. This is rather too hard upon thepoor man. A footman cannot be expected to get up an enthusiastic iutere.st in his mistress’s '•‘Affaires de canir” at a moment’s notice. If he answers “ Mr Cliarlcs! Indeed Miss,” the reply will appear veiy cohl after this vocal and boisterous confes.sion of her love. Perhaps Mr. Millai.s meant to paint a beautiful girl, who, white cockade in hat, would have passed through fire and w'ater for the sake of gallant Charles Edward. Should this prove to be tlie case, we congratulate the Artist on the complete success that has crorvued his effort. 140. The murder of Desdemona hg Othello. II. W. Pickcrsgill, B.A. Desdemona. Eut while I say one prayer. Othello. It is too late ! Emilia (within). My lord, my lord ! wbathoal My lord ! My lord! Othello. lYbat noise is this ? =i< * * * * ^ * ^!: * Othello. *• Who's there?”— ‘‘ The Moor of Venice," —Shakspenro. 7 Wc presume that Mr. Pichcrs- gill is a staunch Abolitionist and a fellow of the Anthropological Society. His Othello is evidently little better than an ourang- outang, and was probably, in early life, an unsuccessful Ethiopian serenade!’. The night dress of this “ filthy bargain,” consists of an old dressing gown, some armour, and the contents of a pot of pomatum. As Mr. Pickersgill did not scruple to burlesque this subject, we are surprised he did not travestie the original text. He might have put the following description for want of a better into the official catalogue The murder of Othello hij . . H. W. Pickersgill, R.A. Desdemona. Wait till I do my hair. Othello. Yah ! Yah! {comic dance,) Emilia (within). My lord, my lord ! Whathoa! Hullabaloo! Othello. Who is dat knocking at de door ? ****** * * * * * * . Othello. Oh gollah ! Dat you ole Milia ! {attitude.) Some more Vanille Ice,'” M. S. Tragedy Pickersgill. 150. Benvenuto Cellini showing to Francis I. the cup and ‘ hasin which he had executed for the Cardinal Ferrara. S. A. Hart, R.A. “ The good king listened to me till I had made an end of my speech, and expressed my gratitude in terms worthy of so great a monarch, "When I had done, he took the cup and hasin, and said, ‘ It is my real opinion that the ancients were never capable of working in so exquisite a taste. I have seen all the master iiieces of Italy, but never before beheld anything that gave me such high satisfac¬ tion.’ ”— Boscoe’s Translation of Benvenuto Cellini's Autobiography, Chap, xix, A casual glance at these three greedy Jews, will shew that Mr. Hart thoroughly understands his subject. The dissatisfaction ex¬ pressed in the face of the fellow in reduced circumstances at once gives an insight into the whole transaction. Clearly the man in the hat is the proprietor of a pawnbroker’s establishment, and has offered the usual third of what has been asked for this showy, but unsaleable article. The venerable assistant is waiting the termina¬ tion of the time-honored effort to secure an additional advance of 8 tenpence before the order to “make out” the ticket “1 Cup (electro) 3s. 8d., J. Smith, Bayswater,” is issued. We suppose this is the first of a series of three pictures, and are anxious to see how Mr. Hart will handle the “ Backing of the ticket for three months,” and how much vigour he will throw into the concluding tableau of “ Redeeming the Pledge.'' 163. “ Man proposes, God disposes,^’ Sir E. Landseer, K.A. % We presume from these very satisfactory portraits of our old friend the bear in the Regent’s « Park, that the order which has 3 protected this beast from the « hazardous results of a forced and ■g unlimited diet of ginger-bread, w newspaper, and stale buns, has iZ been modified in the case of Sir .a Edwin. The courtesy has not ® been thrown away. The brute on I the right is discussing that bone » to the life. Any one who has I induced this cautious creature to try a bit of ginger-beer bottle con- g cealed in a piece of orange peel t will corroborate our criticism, A Actual condition of tlie brute at the Eegent’s Pailt. 9 168. A chat across the way , . . A. Rankley. If tlie artist had provided the young ladies with two ear, and a couple of speaking trumpets, we could have understood how the “ chat” was managed. Perhaps they are hiding the instruments from a zealous policeman they can see in the distance. Such con¬ versations must prove a sad nuisance to this quiet neighbourhood. The picture should have been called “ A hawl across the square." MIDDLE ROOM. 205. His Excellency Musurus Bey, Ambassador of His Imperial Majesty the Sultan . . J. J. Napier. This excellent gentleman has, we presume, been enticed into a seventh rate photographic studio, in the Westminster Road, where a really rascally negative has been produced; with this before him Mr. J. J. Napier must have set to work. We suppose we shall see this figuring as the “ King ” in Park’s Royal Rifleman’s Twelfth Night Characters for 1865.” A great reduction in taking a dozen. 217. Orpheus and Eurydice . . . F. Leighton. “ But give them me—the mouth, the eyes, the hrow. Let them once moi’e absorb me I One look now will lap me round for ever, not to pass out of its light, though darkness lie beyond ! Hold me but safe again within the bond of one immortal look ! AU woe that was forgotten, and all terror that may be defied; no past is mine, no future ! look at me! ” —Robert Broivnivg. A fragment. This artist has chosen Mr. H. J. Byron’s classical burlesque for the subject of his picture. The idea of making Orpheus objecting in rather a demonstrative manner to the pomade his wife has used at her toilette is broadly humourous, and the conception of the immense harp proclaims Mr. P. Leighton to be not only a fine painter but possibly a contributor to the “ owl.’’ 10 ^23, ScheccUng “ I'uicks ” running lo anchor ojf' Yurmotiih. During strong easterly gales these Dutch fishing vessels are compelled to make for the English coast. Diploma work, deposited in the Academy on his election as an Academician . E. W. Cooke, R.A. As Mr. Cooke is accustomed to indulge in nautical idioms only to be found in use among the inferior officers of the City and Lambeth Steamboat Company, it is difficult to understand what he means. If he ever painted a summer cabbage for the Academy, we .should find it described as “ A young lubber of a land sea-weed ” in the official catalogue. As it is our firm impression that he talks of his “ spliced marling spike of a gingham umbrella,” and when necessary, hails what he is pleased to call an “ old weather-logged schooner of a two-penny omnibus,” we feel obliged to clothe our criticism in language suited to his comprehension. Ease ’er stopper Captain Cooke, but shiver our timbers if it isn’t a fine rag of canvas! S71. Make up your mind I . E. Eedgrave, R.A. Here are three athletes posturing in a green lane. It is ilfr, Redgrave who ought to “ make up his mind ” to keep to brushwood, and let humanity alone. 273. A feast at the Squire's, . . G. B. O’ISI’eill. Here we have some greedy paupers devouring with their weird eyes a skinny goose. Of course as this is meant to be a picture of English rural life, we have a couple of officious young ladies malung their patronizing charity so offensive, that were not their mother’s guests the veriest dregs of the County Union, they would not consent to stay a moment longer under such a roof. We are also shown the stock clergyman Avith his expression of idiotic benevolence, entering the room in the back ground. We have been compelled to adopt a critical tone here, inasmuch as this picture is an excellent .specimen of a maudlin, though popular school. It endeavours to please by enlisting sickly and selfish senti¬ mentality. It ousts the real sympathy of class with class for a bit of patronage, such as we see here, when the herd is let, for one day out of three hundred and sixty five, into the hall, for the purpose of being gorged like a pig and patted on the back like a good child. If this artist prove consistent, Ave shall find him, next year, painting his farm labourers sucking sugar sticks, or his hodsmen in long clothes. 11 289. ‘‘Leisure hour . J. E. Millais, 11.A. Elect. It is but natural that an expression of savage discontent should be found in the faces of these unhappy children, forced to spend their play time in watching three gold fishes. Their portraits have evidently been taken after the expiration of the third “leisure hour.” 293 Golden hours .... F. Leighton. A gentleman who must be an habitue of the same hair dressing establishment, to which Mr. Elmore’s dandy (424) is an annual subscriber, has fallen asleep over—possibly a bad comic song. But jvhy call this '^Golden hours?'’ True the room appears to be papered with Dutch metal; but why this showy vulgarity should afford a title to a picture of a conceited swell snoring, in the pre¬ sence of a lady, over an harraoniura, bafties our ingenuity to conjecture! 300 Comus : “ The Measure” . G. Richmond, A, “Break oft, break off—I feel the different pace Of some chaste footing near about this ground; Eun to yoTir shrouds, within, those brakes and trees : Our numbers may affright.” As we see Mr. Richmond’s name affixed to this, we conjecture that all the ladies and gentlemen who constitute this rather un¬ conventional group are portraits. As they appear to have a little hobby on the subject of dress which is not likely to meet with approbation in this purely artificial age, the suppression of their names in the catalogue is judicious. The quotation hints that their ‘■^shrouds” are at hand, a precaution, suggested by the unpopu¬ larity of their proceedings with the police, which shows them to be thorough men of the world. 320. Lighting the beacon on the coast of Cornwall, at the appearance of the Spanish Armada. P. F. Poole, R.A. “ For swift to east and swift to west the ghastly war-flnmo spread. High on St. Michael’s Mount it shone: it shone on Beachy Head. Far on the deep the Sjianiard saw, along each southern shire. Capo beyond cape, in endless range, tliose twinkling points of fire.” Mr. P. F. Poole, R.A., has, we think, in stooping to pander to the popular relish for sensation, misinterpreted Macaulay. There was no occasion to represent this venerable patriot about to seat himself, with an immense bundle of leaves right in the midst of “ the ghastly tvar flame, ’ while a pack of unfeeling vagabonds on the very spot, are quietly enjoying the sea air regardless of the awful tragedy w’hich is being enacted in their rear, 12 324. Captain Speke and Captain Grant with Timbo, a young native from the country of the Upper Nile. H. W. Phillips Why with Timbo ? we presume that had Timbo been a cob or a cur, the property of some gallant nobody, instead of merely ‘‘ a young native from the country of the Upper Nile,” he would have been treated more respectfully in the catalogue. Can this have been a little ruse on the part of the artist to force his caricature of two illustrious gentlemen upon our notice ? 332. The youthfid Apollo preparing to engage in a musical contest with Paris. — Ovid’s Metamorphoses, book ii. G. Patten, A. Mr. Patten’s youthful Apollo ” is broadly conceived, but is calcu¬ lated to give a false impression of the manners and customs of our lively neighbours. Genius delights in eccentricities, and we can understand a debutant paying very little attention to the details of his costume on the eve of such a contest. But we can assure this artist that his hero would only have to shew himself in the Rue-de-Riooli, in order to be dragged away by a Sergent-de- Ville, amid the yells and rotten eggs of a justly indignant populace. The public preparing to engage in a iihysical contest with the youthful Apollo. 337. The landing of H.R.H. the Princess Alexandra at Gravesend, March Uh, 1863 ; the centre group consists of the Royal Family of Denmark . H. O’Neil, A. This is what we expected; with a shilling photograph of his Highness in his hand and a fore-cabin ticket for the diamond funnel boat in his pocket, Mr. O’Neil has completed his order. Such subjects do not afford much scope for a moral or a point, but the artist has thrown a good deal of trickiness into the hair and hats of these well washed and loyal snobs, while the sarcasm which has included the Gravesend Beadle in the Royal Family of Denmark, shews that Mr. O’Neil is not devoid of a certain sort of humour. 13 WEST EOOM. 306. Luther posting his theses on the church-door of Wiiten- herg. Portraits are introduced of Tetzel, Luther^s father and mother, and sister, of Catherine Bora, Lucas Cranach, 8^c See. . . . E. Crowe. “ On the 31st of October, 1517, at noon on the day preceding the festival of all Saints, Luther, who had already made up his mind, walks boldly towards the church to where a superstitious crowd of pilgrims was repairing, and posts upon the door ninety-five theses, or propositions, against the doctrine of Indulgences.”— See M. D' Auhiglie’s “History of the Reformation.’’ Very beautiful and touching. We see the Reformer with an immense hammer in his hand fixing his theses to the door of the cathedral; so far so good. The picture is spoiled by a covert sarcasm. Mr. Crowe would have us believe that the medimval policemen were as remiss in their duties as their brothers of the present day are said to be. If this is not his meaning, why do we not find a member of the “force” requesting this reverend bill sticker to “ move on.” 384. “ Then by a Sunbeam I will climb to Theel ’’— Geo. Herbert, .... A. Hughes. “ An age of mysteries ! which he Must live twice that would God’s face see,”— Henry Vauyhan. A really beautiful picture, which would have been all the moi e impressive had the artist been able to control his exuberant drollery which will see the ridiculous side of every subject he handles. We do not, for an instant, question the wit that suggested the idea of making a veteran and surly pauper wear his shirt over his other clothes, but the artist should have remembered that he was painting the interior of a church, and that a smile should never be provoked at the expense of a sacred subject. 413. Try dese pair C' .... F. D. Hardy Here we have a painfully precocious baby, two or three dirty children, and a jew pedlar in a theatrical costume. Well, it is very pretty, very humourous, and very true to English country life. Who is saying, “Try dese pair?”—we presume either the Jew or the old farmer. If the former, he must have taken lessons in En¬ glish of an Ethiopian serenader; if the latter, the sooner he is carted off to Bedlam the better will it be for society. 14 424. Excelsior, . . . . A. Elmore, E-A. An admirable advertisement. This is one of the most effective efforts to recom¬ mend the advancement of hair brushing by machinery that this year’s Academy contains. No doubt Mr, Elmore wished thoroughly to justify this colossal “ youth’’ in his decision, “ not to stay and rest his weary head upon the maiden’s breast.” The thing would have been most difficult, indeed, we should say, impossible—for the inevitable result must have been the annihilation of this magnificent toilette. *• The banner with the strange device.” 441. Where shall Ifind a refuge’’'? R. Thorburn, R. A. There is something very awful in the mental distraction, which has driven this well-to-do young lady to dress herself in the dining¬ room table cloth, and reel, regardless of appearances, about a stable door. 451. Adrift on the ocean . . F. R. Lee, R. A. Mr. Lee has made the most of his excursion to Ramsgate; in the centre are a few whales, on the right the Margate steamboat. Mr. Lee can paint air and water, but he ought to have called this ‘‘ Quite at sea on canvass.” 15 465. The Meeting of William Seymour and the Lady Ara¬ bella Stuart at the Court of James L, 1609 G. A. Storey. “ The nearness of the Ladj' Arabella to the English throne seems to to have inspired James \vith an unworthy jealousy, and to have caused him to form the resolution of keeping her single. In her childhood, however, she had been acquainted with Mr. William Seymour, the second son of Lord Beauchamp, and in 1G09 they met again at court; their early friendship quickly grew into love, and they were secretly married, but James never forgave her for this step; the youthful couple were separated and imprisoned, and the Lady Arabella, after in vain imploring for pardon, died in the Tower a pitiable lunatic, on the 27th of September, 1G15,” The student of history will find this picture full of interest. He will learn that it was the etiquette of the court of King James, for the monarch to lead a gold stick in Avaiting by a string, when visitiug a promenade concert—that Charles the First was several years older than [his father—and that the introduction of a lady to a gentleman, neces¬ sitated a feast of gymnastics, which would prove, in our days, an attractive feature in the pro¬ gramme of the Bounding Brothers of Bohemia. First love in tlie reign of James I. according to Ur. Store}). 471, George Fox, refusing to take the oath at Houlkcr Hall, A.D. 1863. See George Fox’s Journal, . J. Pettie. Mr. T. Pettie with much tact suppresses in the title the identical bad language which this gang of ferocious debauchees are urging his hero to repeat. The motives for his refusal are obvious. No one could reasonably expect a gentleman who has evidently, to judge from his face, but just arrived by the Folkestone boat, to throw himself thus cheerily into the wild and roystering merriment for which “ Houlker Hall” must have been famous. 456. The love-letters, . . . Mrs. F. L. Bridell. . “ She took the little ivoiy chest. With half a sigh she tumed the key, ^ Then raised her head Avith lips comprest. And gave my letters back to me. And gave the trinkets and the rings. My gifts Avhen gifts of mine could please.”— Tennyson, 16 This lady has seen some five and thirty summers, and has received during that time from her lover, a newspaper, half-a-dozen letters written on foolscap paper, and two or three handfuls of grass. As for the “ trinkets and ring,” as they are evidently brass, and could only have pleased a child of four, we must congratulate the lady on the termination of her engagement with her gay and middle aged deceiver. 457. By the old garden wall, . Miss E. H. Stannaid, The selection of the fruit chosen by the artist to compose her secret and solitary feast is judicious. 476. Penelope . . . . . K. S. Stanhope, We suppose the artist means by this picture, that Penelope patron¬ ized a local skittle ground ; bribed a vulgar friend to accompany her; and then, after a surfeit of oranges, went to sleep over her embroidery. The pattern of her' web is a coarse showy article, which would probably cost about two and sixpence at the Lowther Arcade. Mr. R. S. Stanhope does not undei’stand the meaning of L’Emprierc. 479. Charity, .L. Zuccoli. This lady has evidently no wish to parade the virtue, as she has carefully rolled up her dole in a piece of paper, to prevent the ob¬ ject of her bounty from discovering that it amounts to three half pence. NORTH ROOM. 482. Major Stapylton’s phaeton horses—putting to A. H. Corbould. Why should this gallant gentleman’s stabling arrangements be thrust into prominence as matters of public interest ? Mr. Corbould should let such domestic revelations alone, or we may expect him to be contributing “GeneralRobinson’s week’s washing—coming in,’’ or “ Colonel Snobbington’s cold mutton—hashing up.” 486. Silver and gold ... A. Hughes. When we consider that the two ladies had only a scythe with which to effect their purpose, the carving of the word, ‘‘Amy,” on the tree is a very creditable performance. We think the artist has not chosen a very appropriate name for his picture. The chain of the old lady is evidently silver gilt, and that of her daughter resembles brass rather than gold; next we suppose we shall see the companion picture, “ Electro-plate and Britannia Metal.” 17 489. Katherine Parr, condemned hy the jealous rage of Henry VIII., escapes death hy mahing her peace with the tyrant before the arrival of the officer with the warrant . . . . W. J. Grant, “ When Beauty holds the lion in her toils, Such are her charms, he dare not raise his mane. Far less espand the terror of his fangs.” There is nothing much to notice here. Before us we have a stock Henry VIII., that would do credit to Mr. Nathan, and the usual stagey accessories. Mr. W. J. Grant has misread his “ Pinnoch’s Abridgment'’ in representing this royal scoundrel in such pecuniary embarrassment, that an execution has been actually threatened in his back drawing room. It is no wonder that this artist’s efforts are at a discount, when he tries to raise ovs interest after fixing it at Parr. 511. Mother losing . . . E. Davis. As Mr. E. Davis has very unfairly set the old lady on the hob, we are not surprised to find that her attention thus obviously dis¬ tracted has been no match for the cautious diplomacy of her grinning partner. 512. Queen Elizabeth at Purfleet. The squadron under Lord Howard is sailing down the Thames to attach the Armada ; and she bids God-speed to her sailors. J. E. Hodgson. Has a covert partizanship with the Commissioners of Sewers suggested this ? The whole party are with true courtier’s instincts, attempting to suppress their disgust at the usual state of the Thames. The queen has reckoned on the antipathy her horse must feel towards such a stream, to aj)proach nearer the bank of the river than caution would recommend, while the countenance of Lord Essex shows us how a soldier can face the pain inflicted by the foot of some savage rival, who with mean revenge has selected this opportunity for stamping on his corn. 525. “ Whilst there's life, there's hope." . E. S. Moseley As the picture is placed where only a good telescope could do justice to its merits, the title is appropriate. The Hanging Committee, however, seem disinclined to encourage the sanguine temperament of Mr. Moseley, which has led him to stow away his year’s labour up here out of sight, and were it not for the catalogue, out of mind. 18 530. Fun . . . . A. 11. Biur. There is a simplicity about this artist’s conception of a practical joke, which is extremely refreshing. How it will surprise that old lady when she sits down upon the mustard pot, which Mr. Burr has so slily placed upon her chair. 537.G. Smith. “ As cold waters to a thirst}' soul, so is good news from a far country.” Provcrhs, We conclude that Mr. G. Smith is an enthusiastic supporter of the proposed Permissive Bill, the principles of which are carefully developed in his picture. The family before us appear not only to have conceived an aversion to fourpenny ale themselves, but with characteristic sobriety to have forced a can of cold water down the throat of an unhappy postman. No doubt, for reasons best known to themselves, they have thought it as Avell to give up keeping a beer barrel on the'premises, but a careful scrutiny of the counten¬ ance of the old gentleman suggests that the measure has been cheerfully adapted with a view to eradicate a troublesome habit he must have contracted of laying his entire domestic circle prostrate with a pewter pot. 553. Secret intelligence—time of danger, W. J. Grant. During the middle ages, information of a dangerous nature was conveyed by writing, which showed no sign on the paper until held over the steam of hot water. We have, ourselves, often tried this pretty experiment and cannot compliment Mr. J. Grant on the result of his attendance at the Polytechnic. Has not his experience of the “ Youths’ five-and- sixpenny Chemical Cabinet” taught the artist that there is nothing whatever to justify the apprehension of an explosion depicted on the faces of this stagey though scientific gi'oup ? No, Mr. Grant’s theory of affinities is unsound; this amusement, w’e are convinced, is perfectly harmless, and yet the words, “ time of danger,” are ominously suggestive. Can that old gentleman who, dressed in chain armour, has retired to the back have thrown in jocosely— say the Iodide of Potassium on the sly ? If so, a brilliant and dan¬ gerous combustion must follow. 560. Benedick and Beatrice , . V. Prinsep. Beatrice. “Against my •will I am sent to bid you come into dinner. Benedick. “ Fair Beatrice, I thank you for your pains. Beatrice. “ I took no more pains for those thanks than you take pains to thank me ; if it had been painful, I would not have come. Benedick. “ You take pleasure in the message.”'— Much Ado About Nothiny, 19 Sweet William Shakespeare’s beautiful lines did not require the addition of Mr. V. Prinsep’s dreary drollery. That mad wag, the “ Immortal Swan” .shows us how’ Benedick, his type of a snob, was rude to Beatrice, his ideal of a pert boarding-school Miss. We can picture to ourselves the triumphant grin that passed over the face of this artist on conceiving the idea of painting his hero lounging about a terrace witiiout his boots. 565. “ The Tower, ay, the Tower.’’ — Shakespeare. Mrs. Ward. “ He (Gloucester) then brought him to the Bishop’s palace at St. Paul’s, and from thence honourably through the city to the young King at the Tower, out of which they were never seen abroad.”— Vide Miss Strickland’s Lives of the Queens of England. Last year, if we mistake not, this fair artist made her picture of . Hogarth’s Studio, 1739,” a vehicle for the introduction of a rhubarb tart and some plum cake. In the present Exhibition she has, through the medium of a tragic, historical incident, and a 4juotation from Miss Strickland, given us a fine study of a cold roast fowl. Next season, we suppose, under the title of “ the last moments of Charles the First,” she will show us how she can ha,ndle a couple of pork chops and a pickled whelk. 585. Wapping. . . . . J. A. Whistler. If three dingy cockneys, quarrelling over a currant ice, on the after part of a Greenwich steamboat in sight of a few yellow masts, some ochre water, and a dirty sky, are to constitute ‘‘ Wapping,” there is no reason why a couple of lanterns, an old tray, and a packet of Hornlman’s tea, should not represent '‘‘Pekin.” Has Mr. Wliistler brought us to Wapping for the purpose of putting us on the stare ? 593. Die Lange Lizen—of the six marks J. A. Whistler. Colour is a lame excuse for this mysterious production. We conclude, on reference to the catalogue, that she is some Ger¬ man lady with strong Chinese sympathies. The furniture of her room is extremely simple ; consisting as it does of a few ginger jars, some blue paint, and an ingenious chair, on the edge of which she appears pre¬ pared to perform a startling feat of gymnastics which would ren¬ der her engagement at the Al¬ hambra financially sound. 20 SOUTH EOOM. As the mir-iatures cover one-half of this room, and the Thames Embankment the other, and as we shall not, on this occasion, make havoc among the former, we can say nothing about the latter,, having determined to take a one-sided view of nothing. OCTAGON EOOM. Here, again, criticism is baffled. It would be in the worst possi¬ ble taste to suggest that the gentleman who volunteers information about the prices, and who divides the interest of this department with a few prints, has been “ humorously conceived,” or ‘‘ vigorously treated” by the Committee who have shut him up here daily for four months, from eight till dusk. It is obvious we have nothing to do but to move on to the SCULPTUEE, where it is equally obvious that we have nothing particular to say. END.