w Digitized by tine Internet Arcinive in 2010 with funding from Researcin Library, The Getty Research Institute 'http://www.archive.org/details/dreamerlondonwilOOking THE D REAM ER. Effigies sacr^e Divum- -VlSJE ANTE OCULOS ASTARE JACENTIS IN SOMNIS. NeC SOPOR ILLUD ERAT; SED CORAM AGNOSCERE VULTU3, VeLATASQUE comas, PRiESENTIAQUE ORA VI- DEBAR. Virgil. LONDON: Printed for W. Owen, at Homer's Head, in Fleet-Jireet. .^icccuv. V JL y?/^ THE • CONTENTS, np HE INTRODUCTION. THE PAPER MILL. THE ROSICRUCIANS, O R KNIGHTS OF THE ROSY CROSS. THE COURT OF JUDICATURE, O R TEMPLE OF MERCURY. THE TEMPLE OF HEALTH. PALLANTIS, OR THE CITY OF PALLASj WITH AN ACCOUNT OF THE ONOCENTAURS. THE TEMPLE OF HERCULES. POSTSCRIPT. ADVERTISEMENT BY THE BOOKSELLEIl, OR TH E INTERPRETATION OF THE DREAMi THE INTRODUCTION. I "^HE profefled defign of all our periodical writers, who are at prefent the chief ornaments of the English nation, is to amufe, and in- ftrudt the public j and ibme of them, confcious of their fuperior abilities, have proceeded fo far, as to promife a cure for all the vices and follies of the age. I muft do them the juftice to acknow- ledge, that they have left no fubjed ui>- attempted in any art or fcience. There are among them learned philofophers and profound divines, eloquent orators and B excellent ii INTRODUCTION. excellent poets : and in fliort they have palled through the whole circle of lite- rature with the fame agility and fuccefs, with which a tumbler at Sadler's Wells (pardon the meannefs of the comparifon) paPfes through his hoops. Their reputation is now perfedtly efta- bliilied, and they are in no w^ant either of foreign or domeftic afiiflance j fo that it cannot reafonably be expeded, they fliould allow any fhare of fame or merit to the labourer, who does not enter him- felf among them until the laft hour. A lawyer, who fpeaks after five or fix of his brethren, will feldom be heard with attention, unlefs he has fomething new to offer, or can keep the court awake by the beauty of his adiion, or the harmony of his voice : of which it would be diffi- cult to produce more ]than two or three examples INTRODUCTION, iii^ examples iince the Nor man Conqiieft. Notwithftandino^ thefe difcouragements I am fetting out in the quality of an au- thor for fome important reafons, which I will difclofe hereafter ^ if the fagacity of my reader in turning over this firfl vo- lume fhould not difcover them. But to prevent, as far as I am able, all imputa- tions of plagiarifm, or a fervile imitation, I am determined to avoid that fmooth and broad way, where all my learned I brethren are to be found, and to trace out for my felf a path, which has never been trod before Nullius ante Trita fob. To fpeak without a metaphor, and conform to the title, which I have af- fumed, I propofe to recount my dreams, and in a plain and unaffeded llyle, fuch as becomes an hiflorian, to relate fome extraordinaiy adventures, in which I have. B s beeu iv INTRODUCTION. been engaged during my lleep. When I fay, that no man before me hath at- tempted any thing of the fame nature, I would not be underftood in too ftridt a fenfe. Some of the moft celebrated au- thors of antiquity have been pleafed to acquaint us with their dreams. But they have generally prefaced, or explained their narratives in fuch a manner, as if they were apprehenfive of being thought fu- perftitious, or too mpch affedled by the extravagant whims and pleafures of the imagination *. Thus Cicero, to avoid an imputation of this kind, endeavours to account philofophically for a dream, which. * Omnium Jomniorum una ratio eft : qua, per decri immortales, videatnus, ne nojfra superstition E et depravatione fupereiur^ &c. Vid. 1. 2. CiCER. do Piviiiatione, INTRODUCTION. v which, as he acknowledges, foretold the mofl happy event of his life, and was U- terally fulfilled f. But to return to my felf. What I contend for is, that no man hath ever publifhed a regular feries of his dreams, or defcribed the variety of ob- je<5ts, which from time to time have pre- fented themfelves to him in the realms of Morpheus. This is the Angularity, which I claim, and the fcheme which I have purfued in thefe fheets, which I now offer to my honed countrymen. I am fenfible, that Epictetus, whofe rules muft ever be efteemed, cautions a man againft telling his dreams in pub- lic. t Mr. Baxter, the ingenious author of the Phjenomenon of Dreams, hath plainly fhcwn, that the caufe, to which Cicero afcribtc; his dream, and his whole reafoning upon it, are very iibfufd and unphilofophical. VI INTRODUCTION. lie, left he be marked with the cha- rad:er of an impertinent. But all things do not happen alike unto all men. Epic- TETUS, we may imagine, had no op- portunity of forming his judgment of thefe fublime matters by a proper expe- rience. He never dreamed to the pur- pofe: otherwife he would have omitted this general precept, and probably have enlarged his fyftem of morals by a recital of fome excellent lefTons, which he had been taught in his ileep. I am more- over aware, that the title of my work will often be converted into a figure of raillery, and turned againft me ; and I fhall frequently be told by great critics and greater politicians, that I am a dreamer indeed. But this farcafm will litde afFedl me ; fince the firfl-rate geniufes of the world have been reproached INTRODUCTION, vii reproached in the fame terms, ^andoqiie bonus donnitat Homerus, And that ex- cellent wit, who palled this cenfure on Homer, deferved the fame animadverfion, when he compofed the feventh fatire of his firft book. Eefides, as my work is chiefly hiftorical, and I profefs great fimplicity and fincerity, I am in fom^e doubt, whether, if a portion of Swift's fpirit were to defcend on me, or I were pofTeiled of a volume of my Lord C~d's bons ?}iofs^ I could honeftly apply them on the prefent occafion, and with a good confcience make ufe of adventitious ornaments. I do not urge this to pre- vent any fatirical ftroke, which may be aimed at my writings. If it be wit, I ihall enjoy it; if it be fcurrility, I fhall defpife it ; if it be a jufl and reafonable cenfure 5 I will endeavour to improve my- felf by it. As to my perfon, however, I "will keep it out of the reach of fatirifls and vlii INTRODUCTION. and critics of all degrees, becaufe I have remarked with concern and indignation , that as foon as a new writer is known, or even fufpeded, tliere is a quick tranfi- tion from the author to the man : if his writings be irreproachable, his moral cha- radler mufl be impeached, and if it be confelTed, that he has a good head, he muft not be allowed to have a good heart. Such is the ftate of human na- ture, that the meaneft animal may fome- times have it in his power to injure, or greatly to incommode us. And we have lately feen a little black fly, on the axle- tree of a chariot, able to raife as much duft, as a whirlwind, and really perform what this contemptible infcd: vainly boafted of in the fable. But I have yet a more forcible reafon for keeping my felf concealed. For I am afTured by an authority, which I reverence much more than all the princes in Europe, one only excepted. INTRODUCTION, ix excepted, that, if I fhould be unfortunately difcovered, the talifman, which hath been erefted in my favour, will immediately lofe it's virtue, and I fhall from thence forth be deprived of the faculty and plea- fure of dreaming. Here it will be necefTary to afllire the reader, that I have not inferted in my nodturnal memoirs any artificial or ficti- tious viiions: although, I fliall always own, that works of this kind have great merit, when they are defigned and exe- cuted bv an clecrant hand. The Som- NiUM SciPioNis, which, in my opinion, is not inferior to the mofl celebrated of Cicero's other works, difpofes our minds to the practice of piety and juftice, and infufes into the breaft of every reader a love of his country, a delpicable notion C of X INTRODUCTION. of human grandeur, and an utter con- tempt, or rather a defire of death, in firm affurance of a glorious immortality. And, if I may be permitted to join a modern author to the name of this great ancient, the Visions of Don Quevedo will be always read with as much profit as plea- flire, efpecially by thofe, who underftand the original, and have judgment enough to extrad: the moral. If I had the ta- lents of thefe excellent writers, I Ihould probably be inclined to imitate their man- ner, and rejed; my prefent undertaking. But, as I am confcious of my own me- diocrity, and of the poverty of my in- vention, I have no other chance to re- commend my works to the public efteem, tlian by the grace of novelty and truth. For, although fome anecdotes, which I h;ive ingenuoufly related, will be deemed more INTRODUCTION, xi more wonderful than a F^Iry gambol, or an Arabian talej yet I could procure fufficient atteftations of the truth and cer- tainty of every particular, if I could find out as eafy a method of fummoning my witneffes, when I am awake, as when I am in a profound fleep. J Sleep is very juftly defined to be a iliort denth; and during that period, the foul, which is then freed from the ligaments of the bo- dy, acquires an intuitive knowledge, and that fupernatural power and force of ac- tion, which the ancient poets and philo- C 2 fophers- J Cum ergo eji fomno fevocaim animus a [octet ate et contag'tone corporis : turn meminit pnztcritorum^ pya~ fentia cermt, futura. pravidet^ J^acet eniin corpus dormientis, ut mortui ; viget autem^ et vivit animuSit. Cic. de Divinat. xii INTRODUCTION. fophers afcribe to the inferior deities and mefTengers of heaven. This is fuffici- ently intimated by Homer, when he fays, that * Dreams are from God. I may add, that we owe the Iliad to the dream, which Jupiter fent to Agamemnon: t And if Virgil's hero had not been bleffed witli an ha- bit of dreaming, Juno might have ipared all her labour ; for the Trojan would certainly have loft his road, and never polTefled a foot of land in Italy. Poeia natiis is become a proverbial faying : and it has been agreed by the critics of all ages. t Omnia y quee ah Mnca gefta funt, quaque Hit acci- dirunt^ el per quicion vifafunt, CiC, de Divinat. INTRODUCTION, xiil ages, that no man can excell in verlifica- tion, unlefs he be born a poet. But thefe connoifTeurs forget, that a man may be fuddenly infpired, in a dream, with the facility of verfifying, and with the whole art of poetry, provided he chufe the proper place where to lay his head. Let him repair to Parnassus, and fleep fix or feven hours on the top of that hill, and he will awake as good a poet, as ever was born. Persius in tlie prologue to his fatires informs us, that he was not unacquainted with this excellent re- ceipt. How a poet might be made in- ftantaneoully, and to fpring up, like a mufhroom in one night: but he owns, that he had never tried it. Nee tiv INTRODUCTION. Nee in bicipiti somniasse Parnajfo Meminiy iit repente fie poeta prodirem. In verfe, I own, I'm no adept, Unikiil'd to choofe a pleafing theme 3 Nor, on Parnassus while I flept. Was made a poet in a Dream. Plutarch, who was the beil man, and the beft writer of the age, in which he lived, regulated all the buiinefs of his life by his dreams; and governed his judgment and philofophy by the fage in- iirudions, which were conveyed to him, when his body was at reft. Sir Thomas Brown, tlie author of Religio Medici, thanks God for his happy dreams; and adds. That "jje are more than our Jelves in ourjleep. I am no ivays^ fays he, facetious or difpofed fir INTRODUCTION. xv for the mirth mid galliardize of company ; yet in one dream I can compofe a whole comedy y behold the aBion^ apprehend the jejlsy and laugh my f elf awake at the con- ceits thereof Were my memory as faith- fid, as my reafon is then fruitful, I woidd never Jiudy but in my dreams j and this time alfo would I choofe for my devotions, I can vie with my learned countryman for the reputation of my dreams ; and I carry my ideas of the pleafure, which I receive from them, to a greater height. For I fhould not efleem life it felf worth my care, if it were not for the dehght, which my fleep affords me, and the hap- pinefs of converling, during thofe inter- vals, with the beft company in the world: I mean thofe exalted fpirits, by whofe familiar difcourfes my mind has been more improved, and edified in a few mi- nutes. xvi INTRODUCTION. nutes, than by all the fermons I have heard lince the beginning of the prefent century. The reader will be pleafed to agree with me, confidering the nature of my work, that I ought not to exclude any particular fubjecfl. I fhall be juftly cen- fured as a partial hiflorian, unlcfs I relate faithfully all the occurrences of my fleep, which are wortliy of being recorded. We are convinced by daily experience, that it is impoffible to converfe with any Englishmen, of whatfoever {e6^ or party, unlefs religion and politics make a part of the enter- tainment: and as our waking conceptions and the difcourfes of the day are fome- times obtruded upon us in our fleep, I fliould be obliged to omit, or interrupt many INTRODUCTION. xvii many important narrations, if I were to difclaim all political and religious topics. However I fliall treat both thefe fubjeds with a proper caution and all due re- fpetfl. In the account of my political difcoveries and obfervations I £hall care- fully avoid all odious parallels 3 and ra- ther choofe to puzzle, or perplex my reader by leaving a chafm with a cetera defiderantiir^ than give any offence to my fuperiors j efpecially to thofe eminent patriots, by v/hom the republic is at ' prcfent fo wifely adminiftered. As often as I find my felf under a neceffity of mentioning any controverfies in religion (whether it be the religion of my own, or of any other country) I will beg my readers pardon, if I fupprefs all abftrufe and metaphyfical arguments, and never once attempt to decypher a myftery. D For Xviil I N T P. O D U C T I O N. For I will not prefume to explain to another what I do not comprehend my felf. And to fpeak freely, I confider a profound metaphyfician, as an honell man, v/hofe pia mater is much difturbed j fincc he is better pleafed to travel in a cold night and a difficult road, by the litdc help of a dark lanthorn, than to purfue his journey in a fair day, when he may have the benefit of good company, and enjoy the light and heat of the fun. KovY and then in a gloomy hour, not- withflanding all the rules of caution and moderation, which I have prefcribed to my felf, I have apprehended fome dan- ger from the interpreters of dreams. For, although diis charadler was formerly held in the higheft efteem both by the Jews and Gentiles, and, as it was a real proof of INTRODUCTION, xlx of the greateft wifdom and integrit}', had fometimes raifed a man to the Vizi- riate, or firil poft of power and dignity in the government: yet 'tis now only af- fumed by the dregs of the people, and to expound dreams, that is, to be a vain pretender to this fcience, is become part of the trade of Quacks, Gypiies, and Informers. It would not much ferve my purpofe to enquire, when and by what means this art of divination was loll:. I imagine, it funk with the Del- phic. Oracle, when Pythia began to lofe her credit, and by her amphibolo- gies difcovered to the w^hole world, that ilie was no longer infpired. I HAD proceeded fo far in this preiii- tory difcourfe, v/hen I went to bed, in- tending to finiih it the next morning D 2 over XX INTRODUCTION. over my tea. But, as foon as I fell a^ fleep, I found my felf in the middle of the New Forest furrounded by a com- pany of Gypfies. One of their number, a woman neatly dreiled and of a maje- flic mien, accofted me in this manner ; " Although we have never given you any ** provocation (for we have neither pick- " ed your pocket, nor flole your poul- '' try) you have offered an unpardona- " ble infult to our whole order, by rank^ " ing us with Quacks and Informers. " As to the firft, we have no fort of affi- ^* nity or commerce v/ith them. For *' we preferve our health by temperance ^' and exercife -, and if by any accident " we contrad: a diflempcr, we ufe no *' other medicine, than abftinence, or a " decodiion of the herbs, which we ga- *^ ther in the forefl, I need not tell ':' you. INTRODUCTION, xxi " you, that thefe fellows are unfkilled in ** the art of divination. They interpret ** dreams, and adminifter phyfic by the " fame rule. They pretend to obferve " very carefully the conjunctions of the " planets -, and when their patients die, " or their predidlions fail, they lay the *' blame on the ftars. As to Informers " you know the flyle and manner in " which they recite, and expound " dreams : Set licet. This Informant, " or Examinant faith, * That be " dreamed, or fomebody dreamed, that *' fojnewhere, in fome year (Jiylo 'veteri) ^^ fome^ * I am apt to believe, that my Gypfy hath learned this manner of fpeaking from an old Bal- lad, which very probably flie had got by heart, and v^rhich I met with among the colledion of old Ballads in Ashmole's Library, when I was laft xxii INTRODUCTION. " fomebody told fimebody^ that another " fomebody faid to fomebody fuch and fuch " things. laft in Oxford. It was publifhed in 1658. fome little time before Oliver's death. It begins thus: KITjCn SOMEBODY SOMEWHERE fflttl SOME ^CtlX$ ti^», JFrom fi}t JUptjalict t)C toouln ejcpuntjc ttjc great O : TSg an Immcn-do (CUcuTii I'Ott ihirik ft?) 'tiuajs meant of ijiiS TjiffTjttef^ t"^e Pro— - anU t'fjC SOMEBODY SOMEWHERE 5333^ CosTAR aUD Co — 152 an Inmicn-do. N. B. Cos TAR was at that time a s^oldrniith in Lombard-Street. There was an Information againft him, for having faid fome years before, that the nation would never be happy, till the great Q was expunged out of the Alphabet. INTRODUCTION, xxlii things, or drank fuch and fuch healths 5 and then by applying a flrong iwiti^ endo (of which they have always a large ilock in hand) to the time and place, and to every one of xSi^fomcbo- dies, the dream is well expounded, and the charge clearly made out to the fatisfadlion of any loyal and fagacious jury. Believe me, we look on thefe mifcreants to be the pefl of fociety, and abhor them as much, as you do. And for my part, I v/ould not accept of a Lord, whether fpiritual or tem- poral for my fon-in-law, who would meanly condefcend to be the patron of a B o. If you had ever pe- rufed the hiftory and antiquities of the SiBYLLS, you would not have placed us in fuch bad company. For you would then have known, that we are " tlie XXIV INTRODUCTION. " the rightful fuccelTors to the * Egyp- " TiAN SiBYLL, from whom we have " the honour to be lineally defcended* " And, though you feem to defpife our *' predictions, we are able (without va- " nity I fpeak it) to look as far into fu- ** turity, as any of our venerable ance- ** ftors and predecefTors. While I am " talking to you, I will give you a fmall " fpecimen of our fkill. You are this " minute fecretly rejoicing, that you are " to meet an hundred and fifty of your " friends and aflbciates in the temple of " Minerva to-morrow at noon. But, before * Sibylla JEgyptia is mentioned by ^Eli- AN, as a prophetefs and a prieftefs of Phoebus* And Clemens Alexandrinus informs us, that this Egyptian prophetefs flouriflied in the age of the Hebrew Judges, when one of the Pha- raohs was king of Egypt, INTRODUCTION, xxv " before that time, you will be deferted " by tvvo thirds of the number, and be " fufBciently mortified to perceive the " forces of the enemy encreafed and " ftrengthened by a new band of apo-^ *' ftates. You condemn Pythia for *' her amphibologies, which were a fm- " guhr proof of her dexterity andjudg- " ment. And as you are fenfible, the " fame method has been praftifed in all ** ages, in all nations and religions, it " ought not to be particularly objedled to " her by a man of tafte and experience. *' Nor was the ceflation of the Delphic " Oracle to be afcribed to this caufe, but " intirely to that fyftem of corruption, " which the Hierarchy of Delphos had " introduced and fandtified. It was then " poor Pythia proflituted her charac- *' ter, and injured the honour of her E " God, xxvi INTRODUCTION. " God, when (he confented to f Phi- *^ Jippize^ and deliver from her tripod " fuch ref|x>nfes only, as fuited all the " purpofes of a covetous and ambitious '* prince, and were calculated to de- *' ftroy the liberties of her country* '' — A word more: and I have done. ** You are going to publilli your dreams. " 'Tis a ridiculous undertaking ; and " you \y\\\ be fufficiently punifhed for *' your vanity, as foon as you have exhi- '^ bitcd a fpecimcn of it to the public." With this menace flie and her company left me. I was a little alarmed. I im- mediately repaired to a man of the law. I * Demojihencs (piXnrTri^eiv Pythlam d'tcebat^ id eft, quaji cum PhiUppo facer e. Hoc ant cm eo fpefla- bat, ut earn a PhiUppo corrupta/n dicerct. Cic. oe Divinat. /. 2, INTRODUCTION, xxvii I turned out my purfe, and de{ired hlni to perufe the following Iheets . * He read every word, and afTured me, I might publifli my work without any danger, but he feared, with little profit or repu- tation. For there does not feem, laid he, to be one page of truth. I an- fwered. That the fame thing bad been objedted by fome of his learned brethren, and by many grave and fober divines, to Rabelais, Don Quixote and Gulli- ver : and vet thefe authors are in great E 2 elleein* * In a Dream a large volume may be read in lefs time, than a man can perufe a news paper of half a flieet. And this undaubtedly is the regifbn, why the learned phyfician, whom I have quoted above, declarts. That if his Memory was faithfulj he wouldy?«^ only in his Dreams. xxviii INTRODUCTION. efleem. And long before their ^zys lived a certain Greek, called Lucian, who writ a True Hiflory, which has been always read with pleafure, becaufe there is no truth in it. But, pray, iir, obferve : Thefe writers abound with ivit and humour. The latter is their diftin- guifliing charaderiftic : and it is this happy talent, which ftamps fuch a value on their works. " As to your Greek " and your Rabelais, replied the fage, " I have never heard of them before. " But as to Quixote and Gulliver, I " have been alfured by fome of our club, " who have read them both, 'ihat they " are full of trumpeiy and lies. And no " wonder ! For Quixote was a bigotted " papifl, and Gulliver a great tra- " veller. For my part, I fliall never f * look into any books of this fort, unlefs '' in INTRODUCTION, xxlx " in the way of my profeffion, and " when I am properly fee'd. You talk " of wit. 'Tis a mere bauble, and only " fit to entertain women, and make idle " people laugh. I can fay as much wit " (for I have as much within me) as any " man alive, though I never fuffer a *' particle of it to go out of my mouth, " or to drop from my pen. For, 'tis cer- " tainly unbecoming the dignity of our *' profeffion, and of no ufe in explaining *' the merits of a caufe. Wit is a com- " modity of little value, if it be unap- " plicable to the fubje^l j and that mufl " always be the cafe, if it be unaccom- ^' panied with truth. The wittieji ftory, " that ever was told, would not alter a " mufcle in my face, or procure from " me one nod of approbation, if all the " circumflances were not literally true. " I XXX INTRODUCTION. " I need not tell you, that, although a " witnefs fhould utter a hundred face- *' tious fmart things in one of our courts " of juftice, yet if he did not fpeak the " truth i and the whole truths his wit " would not exempt him from the pe- *' nalties of the law. But now for hic- " ;;;(?wr, which you feem to value more " than ivit: What is humour^ I can *' eaiily conceive, How a man may be " in humour or out of humour^ in a good *' humour^ or a bad humour ; and fo may " a dog, or a monkey. But how can " this word with any propriety be ap- " plied to dead goods, fuch as books, " pidlures, or any other houfe-hold fur- *• niture r" * * I relate fimply the occurrences of my Dream* Far be it from me to intend a general reflection oa the INTRODUCTION, xxxi Here a countiy client coming into the room, dropt his club on the floor. The noife waked m.e. And, as I found it to be my ufual time of rifing, I im- mediately got up, wrote down my dream, and the faculty of the huv. I have the honour to be acquainted v.'ith fome eminent lawyers, v/ho are pcrfons of great ivit and humour. But in this, as well as in other profeffions, a man may be diftinguiflied for his learning and knowledge, and yet be endowed with neither of the odier talents. And for this defect: Mr. Lock hath afligned a fufficient reafon. The late Dr. Cheyne of Bath, who was a good phyfician and a good philofopher, and did not want ftrength of genius in his way of writing, frequently aflured me, that he could not read Don Quixote with any pleafure, nor had anytaftefor Hudibras or Gulliver ; that, what we call wit and humour in thefe authors, he confidered as falfe ornaments, and never to be found in thofe compofitions of the ancients, which we moft admire and efteem, xxxii INTRODUCTION'. and tacked it to this introdudory dif- courfe, thinking my fclf much obliged to the Gypfy, who had furnifhed me with fuch an appofite conckifion. ^1 THE [ 33 ] THE PAPER MILL, N a fine morning laft month I was walking in Marybone Gardens. After three or four rounds I found my fclf in a long avenue, which led to a magnificent building, fituated on the top of a little hill at about a miles diftance. By a fecret impulfe I was obliged to go forward : and, when I had travelled about half the length of the avenue, I came to the banks of a river as wide, as the Thames at Whitehall. I pafied it as eafily (tho' there was neither bridge or boat) as Virgil's Camilla tript over the fea without wetting F the 34 THE DREAMER. the foles of her feet. When I approached near the ediiice, I perceived it was a tem- ple, and that over the great gates there was written in large gold letters, SACRED TO MNEMOSYNE. At the fame time I was fuddenly engaged in as great a crowd, as you fee on the Royal Exchange at one a clock. From their different habits and manners (fome being embroidered all over, others drcffed like footmen, fome with the mien of philofophers, others with the air of fribbles, fome appearing to be very polite, others to be very clowns) I con- jefburecl, they Were perfons of all ranks and denominations : in which however I was miftakeh (as I was afterwards informed) for they were all of the fame trade. "With this company I entered the temple. The form and ftrudbure of it pleafed me. It was fupported by two rows of granite pillars, and the walls were adorned with the por- traits of the molt excellent men, who had fiou- >:? THE DREAMER. 3. flourillied in all ages of the world. At the eaft end of the temple the Goddefs, as richly- habited, as our lady of Loretto, fate oji a throne of gold •, and juft beneath her, on a: fofa of crimfon velvet, were her nine daughters, the Mufes, ranked according to the dignity of their refpedtive offices, or the order of birth. As foon as proclamation was made, that the Goddefs was ready to receive petitions, all thofe, who entered with me into the temple, about four hun- dred in number, approached the foot of the throne, and delivered their petitions to one of the Mufes, from whofe hands the God- defs received them. They were ordered to be read : and, although they were drawn up in different languages, they were all of the fame tenor. Every one defired Mnemo- syne to beflow on him the gift of memory in as ample a manner, as the fame had been granted to the ancient orators and poets. I admJred the condefcenfion and generofi^y of F 2 tlie S6 THE DREAMER. the Goddefs. No one received a repulle; and Thalia was ordered to write a Fiai under every petition. When I remarked, how eafily the gift of memory was to be ob- tained, and fenfible of what great ufe it would prove to me in the profecution of my prefent defign, I ftept afide, and framed a fhort petition in as modeft and refpedful terms, as T could devife, but in fubflance very different from all, which had hitherto been prefented. For, whereas the Four Hun- dred, wl.o had addreiled the Goddefs before me, made no fcruple of demanding this great talept without limitation or reftridlion, or making any allowance for their age or infirmities-, I reftrained my requeft to the hours of deep, and only defired, that the Goddefs would be pleafed to endow mc with the faculty of remembring my dreams. My petition was immediately granted j and the Comic Mufe fmiled, when fhe wrote the Fiat. At U\t fame time Hiq fixed a fmall THE DREAMER. 37 black patch on my forehead, and forbid me under the penalty of forfeiting the valuable gift I had jull obtained, to remove this patch before I awaked in the morning. Some few, who came late into the tem.ple, followed my example in the modefty of their ftyle and manner of petitioning. I particularly remarked a tall German (who was travelling for his improvement) who only requefted fuch a fliare of Mnemo- syne's favour, as would enable him to re- member all the figns in London and Pa- ris : and, I obferved another, who con- tracted all his hopes and defires into this fmgle article, " That he might never forget his own name." They had both the honour of the patch. The lail petitioner was my noble friend the Count of who is di- ftinguifned from all others of his order by his great integrity, his fteady love of his country, and his univerfal benevolence to mankind. The whole prayer of his petition was 3S THE DREAMER. was this (a leffon for the firft monarch of the world) Great Goddess, Let me EVER REMEMBER, THAT I AM A MaN ! As foon as Mnemosyne had read this la- conic prayer, fhe took a ring from her finger, and prefented it to this excellent pa- triot, while the Mufes fung a grand chonis in his praife. I here obferved, that the Four Hundred looked on my friend with the eyes of envy and malice. One among them, who ftood next to me, whifpered me. That the Goddefs had bellowed her ring, and the Mufes their panegyric on a very improper perfon •, that the Count of was a man of obfolete and iinfafliionable principles; that honour and integrity, duty to our coun- try, and love of mankind founded well in the ears of the populace, but were incon- fiftcnt with that laudable ambition, which alone in thefe days could form a great hero, or a confummate ftatefman. I was about to reprove him for his irreverent and un- grate- THE DREAMER. 39 grateful cenfure, when he was fuddenly called away, having been fele6ted by his companions to harangue the Goddefs, and return thanks in the name of their whole fociety. He therefore advanced to the foot of the throne, and, having colle6led him- felf in the manner of the ancient orators, he begun his fpeech, but not in the manner of either ancient or modern. For his whole introdu6tion confifted of egotifms and a long catalogue of his own praifes. When he had fufficiently defcribed the importance of himfelf, and intimated to his brethren, that he expelled rewards proportioned to his fingular merit, he entered upon the praifes of the Goddefs, and her amiable daughters. He defcribed the beauty of their perfons. He celebrated the lliining qualities of their minds. He extolled their benignity and indulgence to undeferving mortals. He then difplayed the ufe and benefit of ;nemory; and he acknowledged, that not only 40 THE DREAMER. only this invaluable talent, but all the liberal arts and fciences, which in this, or in any other age have flourifhed in the world, arc the gifts of the great divinities, before whom he was fpeaking. To their infpirations and precepts, fays our Orator, mufl likewife be afcribed all civil polity, all the fociai virtues, the love of our coun- try and the prefervation of our liberty, the greateft blefling, which has ever yet been confer'd on rational beings. Here I look'd at the Orator, who could not but be fenfible, that this part of his fpeech was a flat con- tradidion to what he had juft before whif- pered in my ear. But his countenance was as ferene and undifturbed, as if his expref- fions flowed from the integrity of his heart. He proceeded with great volubility, and by culling a great number of choice flowers, which are fo thick fl:rewed in all our pane- gyrical eflTays and modern dedications, he gave a fignal proof to the whole congrega- tion THE DREAMER. 41 tion of the force and ftrength of memo- ry, which juft before had been beftowcd on him. This important perfon concluded, as he began, with an encomium on himfelf : for which however he apologized : becaufc his charafter could not be fuffici- ently illuftrated, nor his fuperior merit ex- plained, except by his own eloquence. And this is probably the reafon, why his praifes are no where to be found, but in his own works. He fpoke above an hour. And, though he uttered many facred truths, yet as they were mingled with fuch a pro- fufion of ridiculous gafconades, his fpeech feemed to me very abfurd and tedious. The Goddefs herfelf, to whom it was addreffed, did not receive it with any marks of appro- bation : and I could perceive, the Mufcs were tired, before the Orator had iinilhed his introdudlion. Flis companions indeed highly applauded his performance : yet the reft of the congregation feem'd to be relieved, G when 42 THE D R E A M E R. when he pronounced his Dixi. Notice was now given by the Ibund of a mufical bell, that all perfons were at liberty to depart the temple. We went out in good order, but very flowly. For the great gates being lliut, we were obliged to pafs through a wicket one by one. The reafon of this v/as, that every one might receive a fprink- ling of perfumed water. For juft with- out the wicket were two grave perfonages, one on the right hand, and the other on the left. They were robed in white fatin, and had hats of the fame co- lour. Each held in his hand a filver bafon full of water highly perfumed, which they fprinkled in the face of every perfon, as he pafiTed out, and with fo good a grace, that it feemed to be a religious compliment, in imitation of the cuftom or ceremony of prefenting holy water at the doors of the churches in all Roman catholic countries. There THE DREAMER. 4^ There were a few, to whom this civility was not paid. I was of the number, and fo were all thofe, who had been diftinguifhed, like me, by a Mack patch on their foreheads. Even my noble friend, to whom Mnemo- syne had prefented her ring, did not re- ceive the compliment of the perfumed wa- ter. But I obferved, that the Satin Sages made him a profound reverence, as he pafled out. I felt fome little mortification to be thus excepted. But I exprefTed no ligns of refentment: and I was foon con- vinced, that I had no reafon to complain. For, when the whole congregation was come out of the temple, there was a general con- fufion among thofe, v*'ho had received the fprinkling (as formerly among the builders of Babel) occafiqned by a total depriva- tion of memory. Not one of them feemed to know, in what place he was, how he came thither, or what had palTed in the houfe of Mnemosyne. Even the great G 2 Orator 44 THE DREAMER. Orator, who juft before had made fuch a pompous harangue, wanted words to exprefs himfelf, and afked me with fome difficulty, if I could inform him, Where he lived. It may eafily be imagined, hov/ great my furprize muft have been in beholding fuch ^ fudden and violent change. I could not but afcribe it to the intervention and influ- ence of fome very powerful demon, who was thus able in an inftant to refcind the gifts of a great Goddefs, and fcatter igno- rance through fuch a large body of people. Whiiil I was profoundly meditating on this ftrange pluenomenon, the White-Hats, waving a wand or rod, collefled into a com- pact body the whole number, to whom they had diftributed the perfumed water, as a fhepherd on Salisbury Plain compels his iheep; and placing themfelves, one in the front, and the other in the rear conduced their Band out of my Tight. As foon as this fcene was paffed, the venerable Patri- cian^ THE DREAMER. 45 CI AN, to whom MxEMOsvNE had prefented her ring, came up to me, and faluted me in his uftial polite and eafy manner. He aflccd me, by what means or conveyance I arrived in this country. I anfwered, * In a Dream • the moft convenient vehicle, and the m.ofl: expeditious way of travelling, that hath ever yet been invented. I then took an op- portunity of congratulating him on the ho- nours, v/hich he had received from the hands of the Goddefs •, and in return, he compli- mented me on that fhare of her favour, which I had acquired; adding with a fmile. That he hoped, it would produce fomething to entertain, and amufe my friends. The Count (as he told me) had been fome time in this land of wonders : and, as I knew him to * There is nothing more common, than to dream, ^at we are dreaming. I appeal to every man's e.xpe- rifnce for the truth of this obfervation. 46 THE DREAMER. to be a man of uncommon fagacity, obfer- vation and experience, and withall very communicative of his knowledge, I made no fcruple of requefling him to explain to me thofe marvellous things, which I had juft feen j particularly I intreated him to in- form me, of what quality or condition thofe were, who after they had received the gift of memor}'', were fo fuddenly deprived of it. He made me the following anfwer : Thofe grave perfons, who fprinkled the perfumed water, are colleagues. They have various titles and appellations. They ftyle them- felves the Duumvirate, or Intendants. They are generally called by the common people the * White-hats. The water, which they fo liberally diftributed, is from the * The White Kat, which is an emblem cf innocence, is the nobleft enfign of fovereignty, efpecially fmce it hath been worn by Mr. Nash of Bath, whom I con- ficler THE DREAMER. 47 the river Lethe. The Intendants im- port it occafionally by the aid of a learned RosicRUCiAN, who in his younger days having been urged by his avarice and ambi- tion to defert, and betray his friends, felt fuch fider, as the greateft monarch in Europe. For, although he is poflefied of abfolute power, he governs with •univerfal efteem, and by the unanimous confent of a warlike and opulent nation. During the courfe of a long reign (of more than forty years) he has convinced the whole world, that he would have been worthy of empire, Ji non imperajjet. He has never committed any adts of violence or oppreflion. His taxations have been very moderate, and he has required no other fubfidies than what have been juft neceflary for the fervice of his government. He has promulged no laws or ordinances but fuch, as are evidently calculated to promote the wel- fare and happinefs of his people, maintain decency and order, and encreafe all innocent diverfions. I muxl fur- ther add, that this excellent monarch hath greatly em- bellifhed his feat of empire with many magnificent mo- numents, erefted at his own expence. His citizens have 48 T II E D R ii: A M E R. fuch horrors of mind, as wouid have made the remainder of his Wfc very miferable, if he had not difcovered the great fccret of correfponding with the Dii Liferi. Through their favour he procured a rundlet of Lethe ; and by wafliing his temples with this water, and drinking a fmall cup of it falling, he was inflantly cured, and reftored to that eafe and chearfulnefs, which he enjoyed in his ilate of innocence. Thofe perfons, concern- ing whom you fo particularly enquire, and who in the regifliers of this country, are called the Band of Four Hundred, are the workmen employed by the Intexdants in every have followed his example. Several new ftreets have been lately built; and this place is at prefent one of the moft beautiful cities in Europe. So that Mj. Nash "may fay of Bath, what Augustus faid of Rome, a little before his death, Latent! am iweni ; manner earn rt' iiqui. When he Ihall have fini{hed his lad aft, he may like- wife demand a Plaudite; but with much more reafoa andjuftice, than the Roman Emperor, THE DREAMER. 49 * every branch of their bufinefs, Vvhich cou- fiics in a manufadlure of paper, of fuch an excellent fort, that it is the mofl valuable commodity in the land : which from hence is named the Land of the Papyropolites. You will be furprifed, when I affure you, that a fingle llieet of this paper has been fomctimes bartered for a tun of s-old. The honour of this invention is attributed to a famous engineer, who was invited hither tovv^ards the end of the lail century. But the great improvement of the manufatSlure is owing to the ingenuity of a knight adven- turer, who for his fuperior talents was ftyled the Colossus, tie built on the river, which you paiTed over, a new Mill for his purpofe, of a form very different trom the common paper mills, and which is much more capaci- ous, and employs many more hands, than the filk mill in Derby. The prefent Intend- ANTS give their workmen great wages, and yet the latter have feldom thought them- H fclves 5 o THE DREAMER. felves fufliciently rewarded. Even the Co- lossus was at laft undone by refufmg his Band ot workmen a largefs over and above their falarics. When he thought himfelf mOil fecure, they mutinied, and lofing all refpeft for his perfon, they tumbled him headlong into his own Mill-Pond-, and, though he efcapcd with life, yet he was com- pelled in his old age to quit his bufmefs, and abdicate his Mill. The White-hats, who have fuccceded to him, were obliged to temporize, cajole the mutineers, raife their v/ages, and ufe many ftratagems, before they could get into pofleilion. And, ever fincc that time, they have managed their aJTairs with fome difficulty. They have been in continual danger of a furprize, and have therefore been conllantly on their guard. They have been forced to take in many new hands, and yet not fuffered to difcharge any of thofe, who were grown old and ufelefs. They have at length however fallen upon a method THE DREAMER. 51 rnethod of fecuring themfelves z.nd their pofTeflions againft all attacks for the future : and this has been the mod fortunate day of their lives. It feems their workmen veiy lately took into their heads, that, becaiife they were fuch fkilful manufafturers of pa- per, by the fame art, and by a very natu- ral tranfition they might form themielvcs into a band of orators, politicians, poets and hillorians ; and witii the fpirit of mechanics frame rules for the government of a great empire. But, after mature confideration, they were fenfible, that they could not poflibly complete this grand fcheme without the gift of memory. I'o this intent they fought out the temple of Mnemosyne. They fuppH- cated the Goddefs : they bribed her priefts : they offered incenfe: they promifed heca- tombs : they obtained their requeft. And, if the Intendants had not opportunely pre- vented the effedts of Mnemosyne's bene- faction in the manner you obfervedj they H 2 would 52 THE DREAMER. would foon have found themfelvcs in a very perilous iituation. For the Paper-Makers^ conceiving themfelvcs to be endowed with new and extraordinary talents, would be vain, obftinate, and ambitious-, and, inftead of working with their hands, would wafte the time in haranguing, reafoning, cavilling, contradicling : they would quote precedents, draw parallels, and give advice, when they were not aflced j and if they found any de- feds in the Mill, which at prefent is cer- tainly much out of repair, they v\^ould pro- pofe fome impra6ticable, or very dangerous fchemes of amendment. You muft know, that the Intendants have lately prefented a quantity of their paper to fome foreigners of diitinftion (in imitation of his Polish majefty, who fo frequently fends prefents of his Dresden porcelain) with inftrudions, how it may be wrought into the richeft and moft elegant furniture, and converted into jewels of filvcr and jewels of gold for the life THE DREAMER. 53 ufe of the wives and concubines of their correfpondents. Now, it the Band of work" men were as much enlightened, as they were an hour ago, this generofity to flrangers v/ould probably be deemed a wanton wafte of the public manufacture, and thefe me- chanics might be fo audacious, as to accufe their mafters of peculation. As matters now ftand, the Intendants, as I have ob- ferved above, may be lefs vigilant, and yet very fecure. For the whole Band will here- after ftick dole to their bufinefs, and con- fine themfelves within the bounds of the Mill. They will pretend to no other me- rit, than their mailers will be pleafed to al- low them ; but, like other tame animals, flatter, and fawn, and lick the hand that feeds them. And now the Count invited me to take a view of the Mill, and afterwards to vifit |cme of the other public buildings, efpeci- ally 54 THE DREAMER. ally the temples, which were moft fre- quented. He aflured me, I fhould find many things worthy of a place in my me- moirs. When we arrived at the Mill- House, which was fituatcd on the fame river, which I had pafTed over with fo much cafe, we firft entered a large hall, or outward room, where many inhabitants of the coun- try were impatiently waiting to know, what work was to be done that day ; what quan- tity of paper was to be manufa6tured -, for what purpofe the fame was to be difpofed of ; whether the Mill was fufficiently fupplied ; whether any new colledlors were to be ap- pointed i where they were to be ftationed . whether the Band was docile and obedient •, what vacancies and changes had lately hap- pened among them, &c. &c. From hence I was conducted into the ftore-room, where the materials, of which the paper was made, were depofited, and prepared. Great heaps of the finell linnen rags were forted for this purpofe. I THE dreamer; s^ purpofe. To thefe were added the moft rare and valuable vegetables, as well exotic, as thofe of the growth of the country. I par- ticularly obferved vaft heaps of barley, hops and apples, with large bags full of Jra- himt berries, and American nuts. There were likwife many chefts of fmall dried leaves plucked from a curious Chinefe ilirub, and as many hogflieads of tobacco, as filled a third part of the ftore room. There were feveral bales of raw filk and cotton, with a large quantity of cochineal, and a fmall heap of indigo. Indigo was formerly a principal ingredient : at prefent they ufe but little of it. There was a ma- chine, which was turned by four wheels, re- fembling the four wheels of a coach, by which a compoft was made of foap, tallow and bees-wax, with large fhreds and pieces of all forts of leather. This compoft was af- terwards added to the other mixtures. But I was perfectly aftonifhed, when I remark- ed S6 THE DREAMER. ^ ed a fet of artificers, who were employ- ed in contrading rays of light into a fo- cus by a new-invented engine. Thefe con- verged rays they intufed, and worked in- to the grand compound fo dexteroufly, or rather by fuch a flight of hand, that, al- tho' I ftood very near them, and obferved all their motions, I could not poflibly difcern, or comprehend the manner of their operation. And it would therefore be a fruitlefs at- tempt, if I fliould endeavour to defcribe it, in hopes of giving my reader a juft idea of it. I Ihall only mention one particular, as the ef- fe6t of this wonderful phsenomenon, the truth of which I can vouch upon my own know- ledge and experience. During the whole time they were working this engine, all the farm houfes and cottages in the neighbour- hood were as dark, as the houfes in London in a thick winter fog, or when a black cloud in fummer, the certain fignal of a thunder ftorm, hangs over the city. I went into fome THE DREAMER. s7 fome of the farmers houfes, who com- plained grievoufly of this monopoly of light in a free country, and that the fun fhould be allowed to vifit the palaces of the great, who undervalue his favours, and prefer the light of a flambeau, or wax taper to the brighteft of his beams, and at the fame time be denied entrance into the houfes of thofe Iionell men, who pay him the higheft ve- neration, and chiefly want his afliftance. But to return to the fl:ore-room. There are many other ingredients, befides thofe I have named, which are neceflarily required to per- fedl the grand mixture, whereof the paper is made. But, as mofl: of thefe ingredients are of foreign growth, imported from all parts both of the old and new world, I think it would be impertinent to tire my reader with a long catalogue of * barbarous names. I Where- * As, Addaties, Alliballies, Baftaes, Bendan- NOEs, Chowtars, Doozooties, Goskees, Gurrahs» Hum- 58 THE DREAMER. Wherefore I need only farther inform him, that before this compound can be perfeftly finifhed, fome tuns of the fined loaf fugar and fait mull be added, with all kinds of fpices, as well to feafon the paper, as to give it a co- lour. Then the whole being fufhciently moi- ftened with the choiceft wines, efpecially the high-priz'd wines of France^ is to be worked by the Mill, under the care of the Intend- ANTSj into a proper confiftence. After which, it is taken out, and carefully examined : and, if any defefls appear, they are immediately cured, or amended. The third milling com- pleats the work, and the fheets are then hung up to be dried, and foon become fit for ufe. I was informed, by fome grave men, whom I faw in the ftore-room, that after the lafl mil- lings the Iheets (as many as are made) receive a ma- JIUMHUMS, MULMULS, PeNIASCOTS, SaNNOES, SeER- BANDS, Seereetties, Seerh AUDCON naes, Tanjeebs, Terridaes, Tincal, THE D R E A M E R. the temple, julT; as the lall advocate had finifli- ed his pleading. He anlwered mc very cour- tcoufly, and gave me the following fuccincl account of the affair. The plaintiff and de- fendant are jockeys. They met together at a horfe-race. Defendant faid to plaintiff, I will hold you one, two, three, four * ounces of gold, on Dun againft the field. The wager was agreed to. 'Dim was diftanccd the firfl heat. Defendant offered to pay plaintiff' the four ounces, which the other was ready to re- ceive : when a man of the Ncrth^ who was by, whifpcrcd the plaintiff", that lie was entitled to a much greater kim. This occafioned a warm difpute j the difpute begot a quarrel-, and the quarrel ended in a law-fuit. The fuit has been depending twenty years, by rcafon of the ma- ny * The Papyropolites have no other coined money, but wh.it is mr.de of brafs or copper. Gold and filver are merchandize, and bought and fold, aJ 'valorem, like other commodiiies, as among the Chinese. I I THE DREAMER. j^ ny knotty and intricate points, which were re- quired to be previoufly dilcuffed, the number of witnefTes to be examined, the multitude of commifiions, references, i£c. which were ne- ceflary before the final pleadings. For my far- ther fatisfacflion, the young man fiiewed me the opinions of four of the moll eminent law- yers of the country on the cafe, as ftated above, between A. B. and CD. I. Opinion. I am of opinion, that C. D. Is entitled to four ounces only. II. Opinion. I am of opinion, that if A. B. offered to wager one, two, three, four oun- ces, and made a fhort flop or paufe be- tween each number, as if he were conlider- ing with himfelf, how far he would go, and how much money he would lay in the whole; in that cafe CD, can demand no more than four ounces. But if A. B. faid, he would lay one, two, three, four ounces, fpeaking 78 THE DREAMER. fpeaking very haftily, and for that reafon omitting the conjundlion, and, which ought to be underftood j every number is to be confidered ieparately, and the whole to be added together, which will make the number ten, and confequently C. D. is entitled to ten ounces of gold. III. Opinion. I am of opinion, that the numbers, one, two, three, four, ought to be combined thus : 1 Sc 2 2 & 3 3 & 4 > make < 5 In the whole i 5. the fum due to C. D. IV. Opinion. I am of the fame opinion in refpedt to the combination of the figu- res, I, 2, 3, 4: but there is another com- bination to be added, viz. 4 and i, which will make the exad fum to be paid by A. B. twenty ounces of gold. Thes^' T FI E DREAMER. 79 These two laft opinions, faid the young gentleman, proceeded from two ancient fages, out of the redundance of their law-learning, and law-qualities. But the plaintiff being ad- viled to plead the imperial conftitution, A^*?- qids numeros combinattdo dolis aliquem deludat, &c. they were no longer infilled on ; but both parties agreed, after the procefs had lafted about ten years, that the fingle queftion to be determined was, Whether the plaintiff had a claim to four, or ten ounces ? And how this has been determined, after ten years more, you have fecn. Here I defired the young man to inform me, why they made ufe of any advo- cates or pleaders, fince all their'law-fuits were decided by lot or chance •■, like the aleatory decrees of the judge in Rabelais, which were fo called, becaufe he determined every caufc (after it had pafled through all the forms of law) by calling the dice. He anfwered, that by a cuftom immemorial, no caufe could be finally judged, till it had been fifted, w^eighed, ^o THE DREAMER. weighed, examined, prejudged, and pleaded publickly by a feledl number of advocates •, that this cuftom did great honour to their country, as it was the reward of merit and learning, and incited youth to the iludy of eloquence : but moreover, 'that the college of advocates \/as the moll ufeful body of men in the empire ; that there could be no mar- riages or divorces, no bargains or fales, no donations or benefa6lions, no old laws repeal- ed or amended, no new laws made or pro- mulged without their confent ; in fhort, that no man could do any a6l of confequence, or talk, or be filent, or live, or die, with fafety, without their advice and approbation. But our advocates of the firftclafs, adds the young lawyer, can never be enough admired, or fuf- ficiently rewarded, who, altho' they have ac- quired immenfe riches, and may enjoy all the comforts and elegancies of life, in as ample a manner as any of our firft nobility, yet chufe to labour, and toil, and drudge on daily, even during THE DREAMER. 8i during the heats of the fummer, wafting and weakening their bodies by copious Iweatings, and their lungs and fpirits by a continued vo- ciferacioa of many hours *. Thus they pafs their * This Pafiag.e in my Dream may be illufirated by a poem of Dr. Swift's, which hath been communicated to me by a particular friend ; and which I here prefent to my reader, fmce it has never been publifhed in any edition of the Dean's works. It was occafioned by the following epigram, written by Mr. L y, a po- lite and elegant fcholar, who was at that time an emi- nent pleader at the bar in Dublin, and was afterwards advanced to a more honourable employment. Paulus, by Mr. L y. Dublin, Sept. 7th, 1728. A Slave to crouds, fcorch'd with the fummer's heats, ^ -^ In court the wretched lawyer toils, and fweats : While fmiling nature, in her beil attire, Poth footh each fenfe, and joy and love infpire. Can he, who knows, that real good fhould pleafe. Barter for gold his liberty and eafe I M ThiiG 82 THE DREAMER. their lives, like the ancient heroes, without any reft, merely for the benefit of mankind. I fay, Thus Paulus prcach'd : when cntring at the door Upon his board a client pours the ore : He grafps the fliining gift, pores o'er the caufe. Forgets the fun, and dozes on the laws. The Answer, by Dr. Swift. T Y mifl3.kes the matter quite, -■-^ And honefl Paulus judges right. Then, why thefe quarrels to the fun. Without whofe aid you're all undone ? Did Paulus e'er complain of fweat ? Did Paulus e'er the fun forget ? The influence of wliofe golden beams Soon licks up all unfav'ry fteams ; The fun, you fay, his face has kill : It has ; but then it greas'd his fift. True lawyers, for the wifefl: ends. Have always been Apollo's friends ; Not for his fuperficial powers Of rip'njng fruit?, and c^ilding flow'rs ; Not THE DREAMER. 83 I fny, of mankind : becaufe they make no dillindiion of nations, or religions. They have not Not for infpiring poets brains "With pennylefs and ftarv'lir.g firains i Not for his boafied healing art ; Not for his skill to fhoot the dart ; Nor yet, becaufe he fweetly fiddles ; Nor for his prophecies in riddles : But for a more fubftanlial caufe : Apollo's patron of the laws ; Whom Paulus evermufi: adore. As parent of the golden ore, Ey Phoebus (an inceftuous birth) Begot upon his grandame Earth ; Ey Phoebus firil: produced to light : Ey Vulcan form'd fo round and bright: Then ofFer'd at the throne of juftice. By clients to her priefts and truftccs. Nor when we fee Astrjca ftand With equal balance in her hand, Murt we fuppofe fhehas in view. How to give ev'ry man his due : M 2 Her H THE DREAMER. not leifurc to contrail friendiliips. Jews and Moors, Mahometans and Pagans, are equally- entitled Her fcales you only fee her hold To weigh her priefts, the lawyers, gold. Now, lliould I own your cafe was grievous. Poor fweaty Paulus, who'd believe us ? 'Tis very true, and none denies. At leaft, that fuch complaints are wife : ■"Tis wife, no doubt, as clients fat ye more. To cry, like flatcfmen, qut^ntapatimurl But, fince the truth muft needs be flretched To prove, that lawyers are fo wretched ; This paradox I'll undertake For Paulus' and for L y's fake By topicks, wliich tho' I abomine 'em. May ferve, as arguments adhominem. Yet I difdain to offer thofe. Made ufe of by detracting foes. I own, the curfes of mankind Sit light upon a lawyer's mind : The clamours often thoufand tongues Break not his reft, nor hurt his lungs : I own THE DREAMER. 85 entitled to their patronage, and as well recei- ved, if they addrefs them properly, as any I own his confcience always free, (Provided he has got his fee.) Secure of conflant peace within, He knows no guilt, who knows no fin. Yet well they merit to be pitied. By clients always overwitted. And, though the gofpel feems to fay. What heavy burthens lav.j'ers lay Upon the fhoulders of their neighbour. Nor lend a finger to the labour. Always for faving their own bacon : No doubt the text is here millaken : The copy's falfe, and fenfe is rack'd ; To prove it I appeal to faifl ; And thus by demonllration fliow. What burthens lawyers undergo. With early clients at his door. Though he were drunk the night before. And 86 THE DREAMER. of their own countrymen. He then afllired m?, that 1 was egregioufly miftaken, if I ima- gined, And crop-fick with unclub'd for wine. The wretch muft be at court by nine : Half funk beneath his brief and bag. As ridden by a midnight hag : Then, from the bar, harangues the bench In LngUJtj vile, and viler French, And Lath, vileil of the three : And all for poor ten moidores fee .' Of paper how is he profufe. With periods long, in terms abHrufe f What pains lie takes to be prolix ! A thoufand v/orJs to Hand for fix 7 Of common fcnfe without a word in \ And is not this a grievous burden ? The lawyer is a common drudge. To fight our caufe before the judge : And, what is yet a greater curfe, Condemn'd to bear his client's purfe; While he, at eafe, fccure and light, Walks boldly home at dead of night ; V/hcn THE DREAMER. 87 gined, that the final determination of a law-procefs, however I might be deceived by When term is ended, leaves the town. Trots to his country manfion down ; And, difencumbred of his load. No danger dreads upon the road ; Dcpifes rapparees, and rides Safe through the Newry mountains fides, L Y, 'tis you have fet me on To ftate the queflion pro and con : My fatire may offend, 'tis true : However, it concerns not you. I own, there may in ev'ry clan Perhaps be found one honeft man : Yet link them clofe ; in this they jump. To be but r Is in the lump. Imagine L y at the bar : He's juft the fame, his brethren are j Well taught by praftice to imbibe The fundamentals of his tribe ; And, in his client's juft defence, Muft deviate oft from common fcnfe. And 88 THE DREAMER. by appearances, was left to chance j that, in no region of the world, private property was And make his ignorance difcerned, To get fhe name of council learned ; (As lucus comes a non lucendo) And wifely do as other men do. Bnt, fhift him to a better fcene. Got from his crew of r es in gram ; Surrounded with companions, fit To talle his humour, and his witj You'd fwear, he never took a fee. Nor knew in law his A, B, C 'Tis hard, where dulnefs over-rules, To keep good fenfe in crouds of fools j And, we admire the man, who faves His honefty in crouds of knaves ; Nor yields up virtue, at difcretion. To villains of his own profeflion. L Y, you know, what pains you take In both, yet hardly fave your ftake. And will you venture both a-new ? To fit among that fc^— — rel crew, That THE DREAMER. 89 was better preferved, or adjufled; that all the decifions of their court v/ere moft equi- table and righteous, agreeable to their mu- nicipal laws, and the law of nature and nati- ons. For Mercury, fays the youth, always influences and reftrains the choice of the parties, and by a fecret impulfe, direds their hand That pack of mimick 1 rs, Abandon'd, ftupid, flavilh praters f For, as the rabble daub, and rifle The fool, who fcrambles for a trifle ; Who for his pains is cuffd, and kick'd. Drawn through the dirt, his pockets pick'd ; You muft expeft the like difgrace, Scrambling with r es to get a place : Muft lofe the honour, you have gained. Your numVous virtues foully ftain'd ; Difclaim for ever all pretence To common honefty and fenfe ; And join in friendftiip, with a ftrift tye. To M 1, C Y, and D T— N 90 T M E D R E A M E R. hands to the proper box ^ ib that what appears to the by-llanders to be the efFedl of chance, is the wife and juft determination of the deity, who prefides in the temple. I feemed to be fatisfied with thefe reafons, and begged leave to trouble him v/ith only one queftion more, viz. Why their courts were held in the temple of Mercury, whereas Apollo is patron of the laws. His anfwer was, that all lawyers are orators, andMERCuR vis the God of eloquence. That is true, faid I, but he is likewife the God of pickpockets and thieves. The youth was touched with this reply, and left me abruptly. My noble companion gently reproved m.e for otFending a perfon, who was fo ready to fatisHe all my enquiries. I protefted, I did not iiitend to give any offence by uttering a known truth : and I appealed tohisLordihip, whether the title of the great proteftor of thieves and robbers, has not always been given to Mercury, ho- ncris caii:a, by the ancient mythologifts. I dcfired him to recoiled, that in the elegant ode, T H E D R E A Tvl E R. 91 ode, which Horace acklrefies to this God, and where he celebrates him for his eloquence, he likewife makes particular mention of his thefts, infinuating, that there is fome connec- tion or analogy between one and the other. And I think, it will be allowed, that the mofl; eloquent Orators both of Greece and Rome, were the greateft thieves and robbers, efpeci- ally when they had any fhare in the manage- ment of the publick treafure. THE * Temple of Health. T H E Count fmiled ; and then pro- pofed, that we Ihould vifit the temple N 2 of * Salus, or the Goddefs of Health and Safety was worlliipped by the old Romans, and placed in the firft region of heaven. Janus adorarJus, cumq; hoc Concordia mltis, Et Romana Salus, araq; Pacis erit. Ovid. Fail. The image of this Goddefs is to be fecn on many ancient coins. 92 THE DREAMER. of He alth. This was a plain neat building, from which, (as I thought at that time) Sir Christopher Wren had taken the model of St. Warburgh's church in London. The temple fcood in the middle of a fpacious and beautiful plain, full of all kinds of flowering and aromatic fhrubs. It was encompaffed with hot and cold baihs ; all very convenient- ly difpofed, and furniflied with all necef- faries for the purpofe of bathing. On one fide of this edifice, at a little diilance, was an hippodrome, and on the other there v/as a mall. As foon as we entered the temple, the two pr lefts, belonging to the Goddefs fa- luted us in a very graceful manner. They had both very florid complexions, were well Shaped, and walked erc6b. We judged each of them, at firft fight, to be about forty-five years old. But how great was our furprize, when we were afterwards afiured, that one had lived an hundred and twenty, and the other an hpndred and twenty-two years ; and THE DREAMER. 93 and ^hac they had miniftred to the God- defs fourfcore years ! They led us to the al- tar, which was only a plain mahogany table, covered with a fine linen cloth, and on which were placed four porcelain flaggons, filled with water from the fountain of Health. A cup of this water was offered to us •, a com- pliment ufually paid to every perfon, who approached the altar. I drank off my cup, and thought, I had never before tailed a more delicious liquor. At the fame time I was fen- fible, it was only fpring- water. On each of the flaggons the * three firfb words of the firfl ode of Pindar were curioufly painted in form of a label. Over the altar was fixed a flab, or table of Parian marble, of the fize of thofe boards, on which the Creed or Lord's Prayer is written, that arc hung up over the communion table in fome of our churches. The marble flab was exquifitely poliflied, on which were engraven in large * APISTON MEN TA.Qp- Wcttr is the heji thing in the it. orld. 94- T H E D R E A M E R. large Roman capitals (the letters were of gold) the following words and in the fame order, a^.I have here placed them. They muft be read from the bottom to form the climax. * HEALTH. ABSTINENCE. TEMPERANCE. MODERATE EXERCISE. GOOD HOURS. CLEANNESS. Thefe laconic preempts (faid one of the priefls) which the Goddefs calls her thermo- meter, were fent into the world foon after the deluge ; and they are the only infallible rules, which * I find thefe inftruaions contained in two lines in an old fong. But I muft recite the whole ftanza, otherwife the rhymes will be loft. Sufternota Causidic to darken your door. If you'd live to be old, and in plenty and quiet : And your health to preferve, be your doctors thefe four. Hours good and fair Exercise, Cleanness and Diet. THE DREAMER. 95 which can be given for the attainment and prefervation of health and long life. By health muft be underftood a fanity of mind, as well as of body. For neither is youth lovely, nor old age a bleffing, unlefs they enjoy both the one and the other. If Alex- ander the Great had conftantly praflifed thofe rules of temperance and modera- tion at his meals, which were enjoined him by his mafter Aristotle, and prefcribed by his phyficians, and which he very ilri6lly obferv- ed in the beginning of his reign, he would not have ftained his charafter, and fullied his viftories by fo many wanton acts of cruelty. And the memory of Solomon (the moft di- flinguifhed hero in your holy books) would have been more highly reverenced in all ages, if he had died before he doated, or fell into idola- try. And, if I were not reftrained by the oracle of truth, I fhould pronounce Epaminondas to have been a v/ifer, a better, and an hap- pier man, than the renowned king of Israel. One g6 THE DREAMER. One of thefe princes lived too faft, and the other too long. They both outlived that true glory, which they had once acquired. And, when I confider all their actions in one view, I am of opinion, it had been better for the world, if neither of them had been born. When the prieft had faid this, I read again thofe few important words, which formed the altar-piece, that I might imprint them in my mind, as likewife the exact order, in which they were engraved. I was extremely pleafed in obferving the climax^ by which we afcend unto Health, to begin with Cleanness, and that the Goddefs had made this a necef- fary part of her fyftem. Cleanness, which is obferved, as a law in fome countries, and makes no fmall part of the religion in others, is denominated by our modern philofophers an half-z'irtue : but let me give no offence to the learned, or to the ladies of pleafure, if I repute it SLwhoIe one. It is, acccording to my fentiments, the greateft beauty in a man or woman : and the THE DREAMER. 'gf the. Jimpkx mundi£its of Horace, by which he has diftinguiilied, and charaderized Pyrrha, at the fame time, that it gives us an example of the neatnefs and elegance of the poet*s tafte and ftyle, hath made his miftrefs im- mortal. I then obferved to the honell priells, that nothing is fo fure a prefervative againft epidemical diftempers, as a national cleanli- nefs ; and, that the great city, where I now live, is rendered more healthy, than it had been in fome ages paft, by the care of the in- habitants in building deep and fpacious com- mon fewers, and fupplying all the houfes with plenty of water. I added, were I the gover- nor of a kingdom, it Ihould be my firfl law or ordinance, that every mailer of a family fhould be clean himfelf, and take efpecial care, that his houfe and his wife, his man fer- vant, and his maid fervant, and even his ox and his afs, and every creature, and every thing about him Ihould be in the fame condi- tion ; unlefs when by his trade or occupation O hff 98 THE D R E A M E R. •he was necelTarily employed in dirty work. ,But dirty ix:crk^ or dirty hands fhould be no ex- cuje for any pcrfons above the degree of me- chanics, efpecially for thofe, v/lio make pro- fefiion of tlie liberal arts, who fcrve at the al- tars of the gods, or form any part of the Icgi- flature. When the Count and I had made our of- ferings to the Goddcfs ofPIzALTH, according to cuft^m, the prieflis dcfired us to walk to the weft end of the temple, where they would fliew us an infcription in a very different ftyle from that of the Golden Climax. This in- fcription was engraven on a plate of braf; in larQ;e black charadlers, furrounded with skulls and skeletons, chafed or emboficd on the fame plate, not unlike a modern funeral ticket. I here deliver the words in the form and or- der, as they appeared to me : but I omit the ornaments, as they would not make an agree- able picture, and perhaps might frighten a fanciful reader. THE DREAMER; 99 This infcription is to be read in the fame man- ner, as theGoLDEN Climax, beginning at the bottom. Plates of the fame form and flyle, as the priefts affured us, have been hung up in all the temples dedicated to the Goddefs of Health, ever fmce the beginning of the brazen age. They are intended by the God- defs, as a memento to thofe of her votaries, Yv'ho may happen to have great vivacity and little refolution, who trufting to the ftrength and vigour of a well conftituted body, may be tempted to join in the orgies of Bacchus, or be decoyed into the difeafed bed of a common harlot. Reafoning with the priefis on the O 2 force 100 THE DREAMER. force of each word, and the propriety of the gradation, I could not help obferving, that Quackery was ftationed, as it ought to be, between Sickness and Mortal Sickness. For, what are the prelcriptions of a quack, or of any one, who is not a regular-bred phyfi- cian, but a death-warrant ? When I expefted the priefls aflent to whati faid,I cannotexprefs how I was mortified, when one of them made me the foil owing anfwer. I have never been able to dillinguilh properly between a regular-bred phyfician, as you call him, and a quack. They are both honoured with the fame titles. ,They both prefcribe in the fame form and charafter. They both wear the fame grave habit, the fame folemn afpedt, the fame length of wig, length of fword, and length of cane. They both write books, pamphlets, and poems in Latin and Englijh, Both have their chari- pts, their footmen, and their horfemen. Both Jceep good tables, drink much wine, and en- pourage the growth of luxury by their owr^ exr THE DREAMER. loi examples. I am well acquainted with three of the faculty, who are men of equal abilities. The firft was obliged to ftudy in his univerfity fourteen years, before he could obtain the title of do(5tor. The fecond had the fame title con- feredon him, in another univerfity, in fourteen days. The third, by a decree of a learned body of academicians was do£f orated in as little time, as was necelTary to change his poft-horfes. Thele gentlemen began their courfe of praflice the fame month. But mark the uncertainty of all human affairs. The firft is laft, and the laft is firft. Firft, in the opinion of his fellow- citizens, and fuperior to all his brethren in the extent of his jurifdidlion, the number of his patients, and the weight and plenitude of his purfe. Is this do6lor a quack, or a phyfi- cian } In truth, the fcience of phyfic, or the. art of medicine is very uncertain. The method of practice varies continually, and is totally changed every twenty years : and every cen- tury produces a new hiftory of phyfic. The few 102 THE D R E A M E R; few fpecifics are well known. They are equally adminiftered by quacks and regulars, "by furgeons, midwives, and apothecaries. But the quacks claim the honour of having firfl introduced thefe medicines into practice. Notwithftanding the celebrated difcovery of the circulation of the blood, and the great improvements in all other arts and fciences, the cure of diflempers is not advanced, or better known at this day, than it was two .thbufand years ago *. A man may be a good philpfopher, an excellent mathematician, a fa- * I have lately read a fmall treatife, written, as I am informed, by an eminent phyfician, and intituled. An Essay on the power of nature and art in CURING DISEASES. In this worlc the author acknow- ledges. That phyjic hath ?nnde little progrefs, not^ithjland- jjig the labours of many learned men, for t^jco thonfand years 'faft ; that a mun may grovj old in the praSlice of phyjic, and ytt knonu ncihivg of the matter, or homo to cure any difeafe ; that nature is the bef: pbyjician ; and that fajling and ah- fiemoufncfs -Mill cure many, and prevent mojl dijiemp^rst THE DREAMER. 105 famous aflronomer, and be well skilled in the politer arts, and the Greek and Roman lan- guages, and yet with all this parade of learn- ing be neither a vvifer, nor a better phyfician. Phyfick and fiirgery were formerly united, or to f^^eak mot-e truly, furgery had the pre-emi- nence. And it muft be confefTed, that ma- nual operators in this fcience, from the chief furgeon of a royal hofpital, down to a tooth- drawer, are of great ufe to mankind, and confequently are much favoured by the bene- volent Goddefs of this manfion. I would not be thought to fpeak ludicroufly, or with any deflgn to difgrace phyfic by this conjundlion. But the whole ficulty muft acknowledge, that iEscuLAPius himfelf, who was the ar- chiater of the world, whilft he was livinsr, ' CD' and deified after he was dead, hath been cele- brated inthefame line for inventing the method of purging the body, and drawing teeth, ^i primiu purgationem alvi, dentifque evulf^onem invenit. Cic.de Nat. Deor. 'Tis with con- cera 104 THE DREAMER; cern therefore I confider, that this excellent art of tooth-drawing, which was the invention and practice of the God of phyfiCjfhouldbythe pride of his difciplcs, be ignominioufly thrufl down into the Ihops of the meanefl artificers, and in our days be profefled only by barbers and mountebanks. However, that I may not be thought unjuft to the gentlemen of the faculty, as they are now diftinguifhed, I muft confefs, they have fometimes been of real fer- vice in fudden and acute diftempers, and have effedted extraordinary and furprifmg cures. But in thefe cafes they have generally aflifbed na- ture, and with great skill and care adminiftered thofefpecificsjwith which we are all well acquain- ed. And the phyfician would defervehisfee, if he wouldconfhantlypurfuethis method, and do as much, andnomore, than whatENCOLPiuspro- mifed the lady in Petronius ; Si qucd pr^terea cliudremeditim deus iUimonftra[fet^adjuvaturcsnos divinam [THE DREAMER. 105 divinam providentiam velpericulo nojiro*. In- ftead of this fafe and fimple pradlice, the moft eminent phyficians among us write for the apo- thecary, and orderacompoundof medicines to fwell his bill. They never allow themfelves fufficient time to examine into the patient's conftitution, and habit of body, and thereby to learn the caufe of his diftemper. For which reafon they frequently kill the perfon, whom they promife to cure. I could name more than one of my particular friends, who have fallen a facrifice to their prefcriptions. And if * When my old acquaintance, Dr. Frampton of Ox- yoRD, who had acquired a large fortune by the prafticr ofphyfic, was dying, all the phyficians in the city at- tended him. They confulted, they prefcribed, and out of refpeft to a learned brother, they waited to fee their medicines adminiftered. But when they were offered to Frampton, he rejeded them with a half fmile, and with this exprefiion : Take them away: yov know, it IS ALL A FARCS! io6 THE DREAMER. if an cxaft account of the cured and flain were preferred in the regifters of phyfic, I fear the balance would turn againft the faculty. Be that as it will, this I know, that no perfon \vould be in danger of contradling difeafes of any kind, whether acute or chronical, at leaft he would foon be relieved, if he were ftridlly to obferve, thro' the courfe of his life, the Golden Climax over our altar. Avery humourous and ingenious painter of our country hath invented, what he calls the Temple of Physic, which he hath painted with fuch a mafterly hand, that it is elleemed a capital piece. The temple is furrounded by an hundred offices, or fhops of thofe, who mix drugs, and compound medicines ; and who have had fmcerity enough to defign themfelves and their trade by a very proper and exprcfTive * appellation. In the porch of * PnARMACOPOLA IS, I fuppofc, the term of art or appellation, which is here to be underflood. Fori have THE DREAMER. 107 of the temple you behold all thofe dreadful figures, which Virgil has placed in the vef- tible of his hell. In the middle of this edifice is the ftatue of Libitina. Over the high al- tar is finely painted the hiftory of Pandora aud Prometheus, as related by Hesiod. Prometheus appears to be in the utmoffc concern, having juft opened the fatal box, which the lady Pandora had prefented him by Jupiter's command -, and from which if- fued forth the numerous tribes of difeafes, both real and -f imaginary, which have fince fpread often obferved this word in large gold letters over the door of an eminent apothecary. Pharmacopola is ge- nerally ufed by the claffic authors in a bad fenfe ; and is always to be found in bad company. Ambuhaiarum collegia, PHARMACOPOLiE, Mendici, m'lma, balatrones, hoc genus, onrne, l^c. HoR. •f- The M.^LADE Imaginai RE is the beft patient. He requires conftant attendance, and his difeafe is incuriible, I know P 2 io8 T H 't: D R E A M E R. ipl-ead themfelves over the whole globe. The x^otaries of Libitina are placed round the altar, all drelTed in an uniform habit, and looking up with great complacency on Pro- metheus, and his empty box, which accor- ding to the oracle, they interpret in their fa- vour, as a fure prognoflic of filling their own coffers. I know one of the hcalthiefl men in England, who, in his own opinion, is never well. He has adiftemper for every ftionth ; a'fttl beudes iis feized with a violent cold every night and morning. He eats very heartily, but nothing ever agrees with him. He fleeps very fonndly ; but ac- cording to his own account, he has not one v.'ink of fleep in a week, V/hen he lias run thro" the whole catalogue of difeafes, he finds himfelf he does not know how bat is very ill, and in great pain all over, grievou fly afflifl- ed with a diftcmper, which wants a name, and no body ever had before. Thus, by the ftrength of his imagina- tion, and the aid of his phyfician, and after hiving taken three or four hundred weight of drugs, he wili be able to break a very robuft conftitution ; and, when it is too late, perceive the great difTercncc between real and imaginai y evils. THE DREAMER. 109 coffers. In one corner of the altar-piece Hands old Montaigne, and in another a fii- mous comic poet, both critically remarking the adions and manners of all the other fi- gures. If you farm your judgment of the poet's character by the rules of phyfiogno- my, and the archnefs of his looks, you will perceive, he has the fame turn of thinking with his painter. And to evince this more clearly, the droll hath introduced all the fi- gures, in this hiftorical piece, upon the ftage*. This * It would have pleafed me much, to have feen this comedy afted ; or, that the good priefts could have flayed .a little longer, to have given us a defcription of it. I queftion, whether any charafter in this PapyropolitaM Drama is more agreeable and entertaining, than Mo- LiERE'sScANARELLE.ForSGANARELLE was the only emi- nent perfon of the profeflion, who had been drubbed in- to the pra£lice of phyfic, and do£iorated in fpite of his teeth. I have known feme indeed, who like Gil Blas, have been made phyficians by accident, and others, who have 110 THE DREAMER. This comedy, when it firfl appeared, met with great fuccefs j and as often, as it has been adled fince, it hath been well received : the' the phyficians have always railed a llrong party againft it, and are fo much difpleafed with the author, that they will probably fuf- fer him to die a natujal death. Here the good priefls were called away to attend a per- fon of diflinclion, who, having been perfedlly cured of a moil inveterate diftemper by ah- Jlinence only, was come hither with an heart full of gratitude, to pay his devotions, and perform his vows to the goddefs of Health. We therefore thanked thefe ve- nerable men for their excellent i.iftrudions and communicativ^enefs, and took our leave. liave been taught all their skill and knowledge by the fame mafter, that made PrH.ii us (as he pretended, to dii'- guifehis quality) a poet, andT. S. apricll. THE DREAMER. m PALLANTIS: O R, The City of Pallas: WITH AN Account of the Onocentaurs. x\LLANTIS, or the City of Pallas, p which is not far diftant from the temple of Health, and is the capital of a fmall, but fertile country, called Palladia, is vifited by all flrangers, and therefore our curiofity naturally led us to take a view of it. This city is of no great extent, but beauti- fully fituated near the conflux of two rivers, and has the benefit of a wholefome and tem- perate air. The buildings are magnificent, but in a fmgular tafle. For the whole is compofed of about forty fquares, in each of which is a temple dedicated to the worfliip of Pallas. The fquares are feparated by large gardens. ti2r THE DREAMER. gardens, every fquare having a garden be. longing to it, which is common to all the in- habitants of that dil1ri(5l. The citizens boafl themfelves to be defcended from a colony of the Athenians, who left their native coun- try, when the liberties of Greece were de- ftroyed, and fettled in Italy. They urge, as an argument to prove the antiquity of their defcent, and the truth of this tradition, that, as they have preferved the Greek language in its Attic purity to this day, fo they both fjpeak, and write the Latin of the Augus- tan age; and moreover, that they cultivate all the liberal arts and fciences with unweari- ed application. It mull be acknowledged, that, in the darkeil times, there have flourilhed among the Palladians men of profound erudition, and fome judicious critics and po- lite fcholars. But, fmce the reftoration of let- ters, they have been univerfally celebrated, as a very learned body, and their produftions in all the ancient languages, as well as in their own. THE DREAMER. 113 own, have been much admired. In their fy- Hem of morals they far excel their anceftors, and all the fe6tsof theGRECiAN philofophers. The love and defire of doing good, and the hatred and abhorrence of all manner of in- juftice, is either natural to the Palladians, or is impreffed on them by the force and ad- vantage of their education. But they are chiefly efleemed for their focial virtues, par- ticularly for their humanity, and hofpitality to ftr angers. They are always difpofed to rev/ard men of merit, to proted the innocent, and relieve the indigent ; and they do every thing with fuch an opennefs, and fuch a noble freedom of mind, that it embellifhes all their adions, and never fails to gain the approba- tion of thofe, who have any commerce or con- nexion with them. Pallantis had former- ly great privileges, and might be confidered, as an hanfe-town, in the middle of the Papy- ROPOLiTAN empire. For it was free from all tributes and taxations, and was governed (as it Q^ is 114- THE DREAMER. is infomcmcafurcat this day) by its own magi- fa-atcs. Butafcwyears agotheONOCENTAURs made an incuiTion into Palladia, and after- wards attacked the city : and, notwithftanding the couragcandoppofitio.nofthePALLADiANS, they were at length obliged to give way to numbers, and, by a formal treaty, cede to the Onocentaurs that quarter of the city, which the latter now poiTcfs. But it will be necef- fary to afcend to the caufe of this war. The Papyropolitan government, after variovis forms and alterations, is now become oligar- chical, and founded upon maxims very oppo- fite to thofc, which have always been protelT- ed, and taught in the city of Pallas. Thofc few nobles, who at prefent govern the em- pire, cannot brook a free ftatc in the midft of their dominions ; and therefore they cm.ploy Till their craft and policy to fubjed the Pal- XADiANS, and leave them only the name and appearance of a republic. For this purpofe •hey incited tlie Onocf.ntaur^ v. horn they flip- THE DREAMER. li^. fupplied with money, arms, and all kind of warlike ftores, to invade this happy region, and by any means to eftablilh themfclves in Pallantis. In this attempt they could not fail of fuccefs, as they were fo well fupported, and the city was open, and without any forti- fication. A peace or truce, was at length con- cluded, by order of the oligarchy ; but the citizens of Pall antis were forced to yield up their chief privileges, and fubmit to all im- pofts and taxes in common with other fub- je6i:s. But, in confequence of this unnatural incorporation, what is moft to be lamented is, that the Palladians have been in fome degree, infeded by the vices of their intru- ders •, and fome of them have been fo weak, and fo wicked, as to renounce their old prin- ciples, their friends, and their country, and defert to the quarters of the Onocen- TAURS. The number of thefe apoftates is in- deed inconfiderable, but they have been able to do a great deal of mifchief . They have Qj2 pre- n6 THE DREAMER. vailed on the Onocentaurs to break the truce, and endeavour to pofTefs themfelves of the whole city. So that this fecond war is now carried on ^ith more fury, than the firft. The Palladians defend themfelves with great fkill and refolution j and in all attacks, which have been made hithertOj they have re- pulfed the enemy. But even their vidories have been fatal to them. For, as they are not in a condition to recruit their forces, and the Onocentaurs receive continual fupplies from the prefent governors of the Papyroli- TAN empire, 'tis fcarce poffible, that Pal- lantis fhould hold out much longer. The old inliabitants will be obliged to quit the city, or become the flaves of thofe barbarians, whom they have always defpifed. We have but one chance, (fays the Palladia^, who was giving me this account) for our pre. fervation; I mean, the immediate interpofi- fition of the Goddefs, whom we worlhip. She beholds us, her faithful votaries, engaged in a i THE DREAMER. 117 a very unequal war, and furrounded by an ar- my of monlters; fhe fees the work of her own hands, which fhe has been building up for eight hundred years, threatened with deftruc- tion ; fhe penetrates all the fchemes, and dif- cerns the oppreflion and injuftice of the Pa- PYROPOLiTAN oligarchy. She is able to re- lieve us ; and let us hope, that fhe will re- lieve us, if we retain our virtue, and obey the counfels of wifdom. Here the Palla- DiAN was interrupted by a mefTenger, dif- patched on purpofe to give us notice, that a whole legion of OxocENTAURs, commanded by their Bray, (which is the title they give to every commander of a legion) and fupport- ed by all the Palladian deferters, withCoR- Nix at their head, were marching to attack our quarters. The proper name of this chief of the deferters was Macedo. But all the Palladian renegados, immediately after their defedion, are, by a decree of theONO- gextaurs, obliged to renounce their family names. us TH£ DREAMER. names, together with their principles, and aflume the name of fome unclean beaft, or bird of prey, or of any poifonous or noxious in- fedl. For, as they are required, as far as they are able, to diveft themfelves of their huma- nity, (which is cafily done, as you will fee prefently) that they may not be above the le- vel of their new mailers, it is not fit, they fhould retain the name of a man. My noble friend, who is an old experienced officer, and an excellent general, thought it incumbent on him, on this occafion, to offer his fervice. His offer was joyfully accepted : and the PALLADiANSof our fquarc or quarter, putting themfelves under the Count's commiand, marched out in good order, and with great alacrity, to meet the enemy. As foon, as the Onocentaurs perceived us, they fet up a fhout, (if I may fo call it) the moft horrible and moft difagreeable found, which had ever bced heard. Neither the bellowing of Mars, when THE DREAMER. 119 when he was wounded at the fiege of Troy, nor the braying of Don Quixote's fquire, which procured him fuch a hearty drubbing, might be compared with the voice of the Onocentaurs. This, however, did not difcompofe us. Our httle army was well dif- ciplined. "We had a good caufe and a good confcience. We had great confidence in our general, whom we followed, according to his command, with a relolution to attack the ene- my fword in hand. But, when we were fo near them, that they could diflinguifh the Count, they were feized v/ith a panic, and fled without flriking a blow, To hinder our purfuit, they kicked up the dirt, which had been prepared, and laid up in heaps for this purpofe, and threw flink-pots, of a new in- vention, over their fhoulders (like the ancient Parthians, who Ihot their arrows behind, when they were flying) in fuch quantities, that we were covered with filth, and almofl poi- soned v/ith the flench. By this ftratagem they 120 THE DREAMER. they efcaped with the lofs of a few prifoners, and one ftandard, which was taken from the deferters, together with the ftandard-bearer, called PoRcus, who being covered over with brafs from head to foot, and having befides a protuberance of paunch, was an over- load for his horfc. So that the poor beaft be- ing forced beyond his ordinary pace, when Porous endeavoured to make his efcape, fell with his rider. The Palladians exprelTed great joy, when they fawPoRcus brought ia prifoner. For thio renegado, and another, a little fellow now called Vespa, were the chief authors and promoters of the prefent war. Moreover, Porcus invented the flink-pots, and fiift taught the Onocentaurs the man- ner and ufefulnefs of cafling dirt and ordure at their enemies : and he had made all their troops very expert in this new exercife. He likewife endeavoured to make them vain of their race and family, and to infpire them ; with more fierccncfs and courage, by afTur- i^S THE dreamer; 121 ing their general, in a memorial prefented to him, containing inftrudlions for his future condu(ft, that * Ajax, one of the greateft he- roes of antiquity, had received a great mark of honour and diftin6tion, according to the judgment of all true critics, by having been compared to an Onocentaur. In the fame memorial Porous informed him (for thegene- ral was not very converfant in ancient hiftory) that Augustus C^^sar, after the battle of A5lium, eredled a ftatue of brafs to an Ono- centaur, called NicoN, towhofe name the Emperor chiefly afcribed his vidlory. This ftatue was afterwards tranfported to Constan- tinople, and placed in the Circus, as a laft- ing monument of glory to the whole Ono- centaur race. Deferters and renegadoes, according ''P.^ TST sVjit A\uy\a. [/.zyxvf &C. HoMSR. Iliad. B. 4. R ti2 THE DREAMER. according to the laws of all countries, are put to death, if they happen to be taken prifoners. But the Pall ad i an s decreed a punifhment for Porous exprelTive of his character, and fuited to his life and a6lions. They put him into a ftrong iron cage made for that purpofe. This cage they or- dered to be placed under the grate of a com- mon fewer, and to remain there two hours every day ; then, a ftrong rope being fattened to it, to be cafl thrice into the river, in the manner formerly pradlifed in England, of ducking fcolds, and proving witches, whilft aay witches remained among us. Or, perhaps my comparifon would be more appofite, if I likened Porcus in his cage to Sir John Fal- STAFFE in thebuck-balket,whenhe was thrown jntothe Thames by thecontrivanceof the Mer- ry Wives of Windsor. I did not fee this operation performed, becaufe I would not be thought to infult a conquered ennemy ; but I heard the beaft roar, as often as they were .THE DREAMER. 123 going to plunge him in the river. All the while he was in the common fewer, he did not make any complaint, but rather feemed to take a delight in the filth and mud that pour- ed in upon his head. Porous, upon his exa- mination, informed our generals, that the Bray, who commanded the Onocentaur legion, had loft one of his ears, and half his tail in the engagement 9 and, that he certainly would have been taken prifoner, if he had not been fuperior to any of his brethren in the ufe of the ftink-pot, and in the art of throwing dirt, which he did not only kick up in great quantities, but occafionally fpouted out of his mouthjwith great force,fo much purulent mat- ter, and fuch a noifome mixture, that it feem- ed to infedt the air. There was fcarce a Pal- L AD I AN of any eminence, that this Onocen- taur had not befmeared,or befpattered, with- out receiving any hurt himfelf-, and often- times without being feen, or dif covered. For he frequently took aim at his adverfary from R 2 be- 124 T H E D R E A M E R. behind an hedge, or from a window in his quarters, from whence he emptied his mouth, as the fervants in Lisbon and Edinburgh empty clofe-flools and chamber-pots. When I entered Pallantis, thisbrute gave me afpe- cimen of his fkill and his office. For, altho' I was refpeftable as a flranger, and did not pro- voke him by the leaft incivility, he fuddenly crofTed my road, and with his hinder-feet threw upas much dirt, as covered me all over. He was Ukewife renowned for the elevation and fhrillnefs of his voice •, and on that account was honoured with the title of a Bray of Three Mouths : which is the highell niiUtary title, that can be confered by the Onoc£ntaurs, ^and is equal to a Bassa of Three Tails in the Ottoman empire. We were affured by . fome of the other deferters, v/ho were our pri- . foners, that Cor xix their commander, with little Vespa his aid de camp, had run away in the beginning of the engagement ; and the next day it was difcovered, that they had hid • ^- them- THE DREAMER. 125 themfelves in a large hollow oak. We were told, that CoRNix, in excule for his coward- ice, pretended to the Onocentaurs, that he got into the tree in order to croak from it, and imitate the voice of the bird, whofe name he had taken ; which, he judged, the Palla- Di ANS would interpret, as an evil omen [^cavd ^pradixit ab ilice Cornix] and would imme- •diately turn their backs. But it happened .unfortunately, that, as foon as he was in the Jtree, he was feized with fuch a hoarfenefs, that he could not be heard at the diflance of .three yards, and therefore he did not offer to ■put forth his head, or open his mouth. This relation was confirmed by little Vespa, the aid de camp, or more properly the parafite of ot CoRNix, who v/as always ready to vouch the truth of any the moft improbable ftory, which his mailer might invent to palliate his predominant follies, or ferve the prefent pur- pofes of his ambition. For no living creature had more ambition than Cornix •, and he d^- ierted 126 THE DREAMER. ferted from the Palladians for no other rea- fon, but becaufe they did not think him wor- thy to be created one of their Archons. Cor- Nix was rich, and he thought his wealth (as in our country) ought to fupply all other defeds. He was therefore enraged by his difappointment, and immediately refolved to t)btain by force of arms, and by aid of the Onocentaurs, thofe honours, which were -T-efufed to his fmgular merit ; that is, to his money. For this purpofe Vespa was dif- patched to all the diftricls of the Onocen- taurs. Porous was given him for a col- legue : and, altho* thefe parafites were really 4:4ie moft contemptible of all the Palladian deferters, yet their many turns and doubles, and the fervile pliancy of their tempers, at length, procured them accefs to the chiefs of the Onocentaurs •, from whom they accept- ted the moft bafe and dillionou table terms, on -condition thatCoRNix fhould be well fupport- cd in his pretenfions to the Archonshtp. The THE DREAMER. 127 TheONocENTAURshadaslittleefteemforCoR- Nix, as they had for his melTengers. But they confidered, that his treafure would be of great fervice to them in continuing the war •, and that, by reafon of this new defedlion among the Palladians, there was now a fair opening, and the beft opportunity, which had ever been offered, of fubjedting the whole city of Pallantis, and extinguifhing the race of the Palladians i a defign, which the Ono- CENTAURS always kept in view. Their late defeat had a little difconcerted their meafures; but, to fecure a vi(5tory in the next engage- ment, they refolved to bring all their forces at once into the field, and make their attack with the whole llrength of the Onocentaur nation. To this intent their governor gene- ral commanded his army to be ready to march at an hour's notice. And, altho' he was on- ly a general of parade (for he never went to the war himfelf) and iffued all his orders from his clofet, like the general of the Je- suits 128 THE DREAMER. SUITS at Rome, yet he was well obeyed. For he was munificent, and his orders were always accompaniedwith a largefs. On theotherhand, the Palladians were vigilant and aftive. They were refolved to defend themfelves to the laft extremity, rather than fufFcr an Ar- CHON to be impofed on them, efpecially a re- negado, who, they knew, had entered into meafurcs to enflave their country, and to gratify his avarice or ambition, would confent to a general profcription. Whilfl thefe preparations were making on both fides, I had time to enquire of the gentle Palladian (whofe gucft I was) concerning the origin of the Gnocentaurs. They pre- tend (fays he) to be defcended from Apu- LEius and the noble matron, with whom that philofopher had fuch an intimate and familiar correfpondence in the laft fcene of his mcta- morphofis •, and who, in his account of the affair, is called PAfirnAE Asinaria. But this THE DREAMER. 129 this part of their hiftory is only built upon tradition, and is very improbable. For Apu- LEius always preferved his intelleftual facul- ties, and retained his humanity under his afi- nine figure : whereas the Onocentaurs have nothing appertaining to them, that is human. Not only their outward form, but the bafenefs and malignity of their nature, and the want and contempt of that under- flanding, which is the peculiar chara6leriflic of our fpecies, evidently demonftrate, that the Onocentaurs are little fuperior to any part of the brute -creation. They are in truth of a more ancient race, than they imagine, or are willing to allow. For we find them mentioned, in your facred books, as the com- panions of thofe monfters and evil fpirits, who are there pronounced to be a public peft, and the great enemies of mankind. And, altho' I am fenfible, this prophecy might refpeft ano- ther great event, let me be permitted to fay, S that 130 T H E D R E A M E R. that the denunciation of the prophet, y^nd * liu/hall cry \fing or inhabit^ in their pakces, and dragons in their pleafant palaces, is hterally fulfilled by the invafion of our city by the 0^J0CENTAURs. After fuch a charafter and defcription of the Oxocentaurs, I exprefT- ed my aRonifliment, that any Palladians Ihould be found among them, or, that any confideration fliould induce even the lowefb order of rational beings to afTociatc themfelves to fuch noxious animals, whofe fawnings and carefTes are always boifterous and hurtful, and may properly ferve to illufcrate ^sop's fable. My Isaiah Ch.xiii.V.2 2.Tlie//fZ'rfw wordIiM,orTziiMj vhich proper] y fignifies Onocentaurs (and thus it is in the Gr^fA^ verfion, ONOKENTAYPOI lx.iT x.cCin>'.r.:riS!7i) is not tranfiated in foinc of the old editions of the Bible. In the later editions Iir.iis tranflated, or explained by a very llg- njficant periphrafis, Tlr wild Beasts o/'/>6r Island. THE DREAMER. 131 My hoft aflfured me, that thofe Palladians who firfl: went over to the Onocentaurs, were fuppofed to have been deprived of their fenfes,and feized with a fudden madnefs. But, when it afterwards appeared, that thefe mif- creants had privately worfhipped the golden calf (the great idol of the Onocentaurs) and were bribed to defert, and betray their coun- try,their apoftacy was confidered as a prodigy, and, by a decree of our fenate, the augurs were directed to enquire of the Goddefs the caufe of this wonderful change and corruption of manners in a citizen of PallaxNttis. The anfwer, which we received from the firft oracle (for here are tv/o temples, from which the oracles are delivered) was, Germanissi- Mi •, and from the fecond, 0HP ©HPA. The au- gurs v/ere not at a lofs to comprehend the meaning of thefe laconic refponfes, which they properly interpreted, as fignifying one and the fame thing, and informing us, that the Palladian deferters andONocEN- S 2 TAURS 132 THE DREAMER. TAUR3 are of the fame clan or family. But this cognation or affinity the wifell and moft fagacious in the augural college could neither explain, nor conceive, till chance produced thedifcovery, anddemonftrated, what we will no longer call an unnatural conjun<5lion. For we are now fufficiently apprized by a letter lately received, and communicated to us by Artemidorus, one of our citizens, a man of excellent knowledge, and much refpefted for his focial virtues, that the fpirits of the Pali.adian deferters and Onocentaurs are of the fame fpecies or fubftance. This is a letter from the dead, and we are taught, and believe, that the dead always fpeak truth. Befides, the charafter of the writer leaves us no room to queflion his authority. For, whilfl he lived, he was a man offevere morals, and an irreproachable ccnduft ; and, as he was chief of the college of augurs, fo he was a real or- nament to his fociety. He hath opened a newfyft^m, and demonftratcd the caufe of the T H E D R E A M E R. 135 the great difference and inequality, which we remark in the fouls of men, with regard both to their natural and improved abilities, which has puzzled the philofophy of all ages, and which fome phyfical heads have weakly en- deavoured to explain from the different for- mation of the bodily organs. This difcovery is of the greater importance, fmce we are en- abled to account for mofl of the enormous vices and brutal aftions of mankind, efpeci- ally of thofe, whom the advantages of a li- beral and learned education have not been fuf- ficient to reclaim, or amend. For we are now affured, that a certain number of the bo- dies, which have human fhapes, even many of thofe, which are diflinguifhed by their coft- ly and magnificent trappings, and move in the mofl extenfive fphere of adion, are pof- feffed, and animated by the fouls of brutes. This letter has refolved another obfcure que- ftion, which has long exercifed the divinity of our fchools, and produced many volumes of me- 134 THE DREAMER. metaphyfical jargon, viz. How the fpirits of the brute creation are to be treated, or where they are to be depofited after the difiblution of their bodies. The moft learned men, in our community, have agreed, that thef^ fpirits are immaterial, and confequently indiflbluble, without an immediate aft of omnipotence : and therefore it has been with good reafon con- cluded, that they fuper-exift the dilTolution of their bodies. But, becaufe a difficulty hath arifen, how to difpofe of them in this ftate of feparation, fome of our philofophers have de- nied their immateriahty. But it would be tedious and unnecfiary at prelent to recount the various fentiments and difquifitions of our Uierati concerning the ftate of the brute-crea- tion. If you give credit to the letter, which I will impart to you, you will be convinced that the fouls of brutes are not material, ac- cording to the opinion of fome, or by an ex- traordinary power annihilated, according to the opinion of others, but have a proper do- micil THE DREAMER. 135 mlcil afllgned them, where they remain for a certain term, and then tranfmigrate into other bodies. Farther, you -will be fatisfied, that thefe wretches, who have deferted from us are no part of the human fpecies, altho' they appear in the forms of men. And let me add, it would give me a fenfible pleafure, if this fyftem, which hath been fo opportunely revealed to us, might be imprefTed on your mind, and reported in your memoirs, not on- ly to vindicate the Palladian oeconomy, but to affert the dignity of human nature. With this view I here prefent you with a copy of the letter to Artemidop.us. I have only omitted that part, v/here fome of our citizens are named, and charafterifed ; which we have refolvedto fupprefs, unlefs thofe gentlemen fliould think proper to follow their relations, openly renounce their old principles, and be- tray their old friends and the interefts of their country. Having faid this, he put into my hands a fmall roll of vellum ; which, me- thought. 136 THE DREAMER. thought, I carefully locked up in a letter cafe, which I always carry with me, when I am travelling. And here I mull not omit a moft remarkable and aflonilhing incident. This vellum roll I found in my letter cafe the next morning, and the letter to Artemidorus v/ritten on it in fair Roman capitals in the fame form, in which I have caufed it to be printed. I fliall not be affronted, if any fcep- tical readers, thofe efpecially, who account for the phaenomenon of dreaming mechanically, and cannot believe, that our fouls, during that interval, have any commerce with feparate im- material agents, fhould, on this occafion, queflion my veracity. We are apt to difbe- lieve all fuch facts, as we cannot comprehend. And there was a time when the whole Chris- tian world confidered that great man, who truly defcribed the figure of the earth, and de- monflrated the Antipodes, as an impious liar, and a dangerous heretic. For my part, I fhall life no other means to prove the fad, which I have THE dreamer: \'^^ have aflerted, than by giving every curious perfon an opportunity of viewing the vellum roll. For this purpole it ihall be depofited immediately in the Bodleian Library. But, I hope, when at any time this valuable manu- fcript fliall be fhewn either to the academi- cians, or to ftrangers, that it will not be ftig- matized, like the M. S. in Queen's College (which was produced by a fimilar circum- ilance) and called the Devil's hand-ijonting. For I elleem this epiftle, as the work of a moft benevolent Ipirit •, and, perhaps, it may be the kind information of my own good Genius*. * It will not be amifs to obferve, that in our Dreams, altho' our imagination hath convey'd us to the moft diftant part of the earth, or even into another planet, we always converfe in our native tongue, or in fome other language, • which is familiar to us. And we are not in the leaft fur- prized to find, that the inhabitants of thofe remote regi- ons (as if they had the gift of tongues) fpeak English as readily, as we our felves. I do not fuppofe, that the following letter had been communicated to me, if I had been altogether unacquainted with the Latin language. T COCCEIUS IJS THE DREAMER. C O C C E I U S ARTEMIDORO SUO. ACCEPIMUS A CERTIS QUIBUS- DAM MORTUIS. QUI AB URBE PALLADIS IN HUNC LOCUM VE- NERUNT. RECENT! RE. COMPLU- RES CIVIUM VESTRORUM ET PA- TRIAE CAUSAM. ET FIDEM SUAM DESERUISSE. ATQUE A VOBIS AD ONOCENTAUROS DESCIVISSE VOS- QUE DE SCELERE TAM INSIGNI. QUOD QLIIDEM PORTENTI SI- MILE ESSE DUCITIS. DEAM CONSULUISSE. EDIIUM EST ORA- CULUM. QIIID VELIT. STATU- TUM EST. SED QUA.^ ET QUALI COGNATIONE HOMINES CUM ONO- CENTAURIS SINT CONJUNCTI. AUT r^EMADMODUM INTER SE PRO^ PIN- THE DREAMER. 139 PINQUI. ID PERDIFFICILE INTEL- LECTU VOBIS VIDETUR. REM HANC INVOLUTISSIMAM. QUAM CONJECTURA ANIMI MINIME AS- SEQUI POTES. ET INTER MONSTRA NUMERAS. TOT AM APERIAM. AT- QUE NOVAM HANC NATURAE SIVE FABRICAM. SIVE LUSUM. PAUCIS EXPLICABO. * QUOS TU PUTAS. HI NON SUNT VERI HOMINES. SED ANI- * Some of the ancient poets and philofophers feem to liave been infpired with the knowledge of this dodrine. Horace tells us, that one Av i dienus was called a Dor;, becaofe it appeared by his appetite and his adlions, that he had a canine Soul. ■ A V I DI ENUS Cut Cams tx vero du^um cognomen adhcerct. And another of the Roman poets addreffes himfelf to his Ic'llov* -citizens in this line : O cir^VAE in terras asimao.! i^^ coclrjiium inancs ! T 2 plainlv I40 .THE DREAMER; ANJMANTES QUIDAM. FORMA HO- MINUM INDUTL HUMANITATJS OM- plainly intimating, that there were no divine particles in the compofition of their Soulj; that is, that they had not the Souls of Men. The Cynic philofophers derived themfeives from Dogs : and fufficiently prov- ed their origin by their fnarling and beailly man- ner oF living. A judicious critic, or oLfervant reader ivill fcarce allow, that more than four or' five, in the long catalogue of Roman Emperors, had anyHuMA- tjity: and, altho' they might perhaps have a juft claim to be (lilcd Lords of the Earth, they had no right to the title of Men. There is an excellent dif- fertation in Erasmus on the princely qualities of the Eagle and the Lion ; wherein that great wit has dcmonftrated, that Emperors and Kings are \-cry juft- ly reprefented bv thofe animals, and that there muil te a fimilarity in their fouls, as all their adlions are fimilar and correfpondent. There is a Society or Club of gentlemen in London, who call themfeives Stags, and another Set, v/ho are fl:iled Bucks, from ii confcioufnefs, I fuppofe, that they have the heads and the hearts of thofe noble beads, whofe titles they ba\e THE DREAMER. 141 OMNINO OMNIS EXPERTES. QUI- BUS LOQUENDI CONCESSA EST FAw GULTAS. MINIME VERO RATIO- CINANDI. DISSERENDI. JUDICAN- DI. have affumed. I am told, that both thefe focieties in- dulge themfelves in feeding plentifully on venifon dur- ing the feafon. But certainly they ought to abftain from this meat, for the fame reafon, for which the Jews are not permitted to eat pork. 'Tis a kind of fratri- cide. To fpeak ferioufly; this epiftle of Cocceius feems in fome meafure to favour the dodrine of Pythagoras and Plato, who afTerted a Metemfychojis . And Cicero inclines to this Opinion, when he fays. Cum autetn duo- bus modis, id eji, aut 'vi, ant fraude Jiat injuria; frausy VuLPEcuL^, i7.f, Leonis 1'idetur. Thus in our lan- guage and common converfation we affent to this doc- trine, when we fay of fuch a one, or fuch a one, that he is aDoG, or a Bear, that he has not the Soul, or Spirit of a Man. I will hereafter make fome other obfcrvations on the fyftem, which is advanced in this Latin epiftle. How well pleafed would Swift have been to have read fuch a folid juftification of liis hiftory of the Yahoos f 142 THE DREAMER. DI. QUIBUS CONTIGIT VIX. AUT NE VIX QUIDEM. TENUISSIMA DI- VINAE AURAE PARTICULA. ETE- NIM IN ALIO INEST ANIMA PORCI. IN ALIO URSI. IN ALIO. CANIS. IN ALIO. ACCIPITRIS. AUT CORNICIS- IN ALIO. CRABRONIS. AUT VESPAE ANIMULA. QUID ISTUC IGITUR TAM MIRUM EST. SI ISTIUSMODI HOMINES OMNIA ANIMIS SUIS. ET MALIS MORIBUS INDULGENT. OM- NIA AD VOLUPTATEM. NIHIL AD VIRTUTEM REFERUNT. SI. QUI SIT SUILL/E ANIMATIONIS. VIVIT TUR- PITER. QUI SIT VULP1N.E. FRAU- DULENTER. QUI SIT CANINA^. EX RAPTO. QUI SIT ASININE. CONSI- LIO NULLO. HAKC IIA ESSE. TIBI CONFIRMO. SIQUIDEM LOCUM IPSE VIDI. UBI ASSERVANTUR ANIMAL PECUDUM. FERARUM. VOLU^ CRUMQUE. QUAE. POST ALIQUOT ANNOS. CORPORIBUS HUMANIS DE Bl N THE DREAMER. 143 BENTUR. E QUIBUS FIET NON MO- MODO PLEBS INFINITA. ET NIMIA. SED NOBILES BENE MULTI. ET PRINCIPES VIRI. ETIAM SACRIFICU- LI. ET MINISTRI DEORUM. NUNC VERO. QUANDOQUIDEM FIGU- RAE. ET SPECIES HUMANAE SUNT ALIAE VERAE. ALIAE FAL- SAE. QUA NOTA FACILE INTER- NOSCI POSSINT. ET SECERNI. SCI- AS. VELIM. QUOD USUI TIBI. ET OBLECTATIONI ALIQUANDO FO- RE CONFIDO. ITAQUE QUOS COGNORIS AVAROS. CRUDELES. LIBIDINOSOS. INGRATOS. PERFI- DOS. GULOSOS. SIVE SINTSACER- DOTUM PROCERES. SIVE REGNI SATRAPAE. SIVE REGES IPSI. IN EOS APTE CADANT. OPORTET, PECUDUM. BESTIARUM. ET BEL- LUARUM NOMINA. UTPOTE QL^OS 144 THE DREAMER. HUMANIS ANIMIS HAUD ESSE PRAEDITOS. PERSUASISSIMUM HABEAS. TV VERO UT CAVENDO VITES BIPEDUM EOS OMNIUiM IMPURISSIMOS. QUI ETIAMNUM CIVITATIS VESTRAE JURA TE- NENT. EN TIBI EORUM NOMINA. OFFICIA. DOMICILIA. MORES. MACHINATIONES. COGITATIO- ONES. * * * * * * * « * * « * * * » * * * * * * * * * * * HAEC AD TE DILIGENTER PER- SCRIPSI. BENEFICIORUM MEMOR. QUIBUS OLIM ME ORNABAS. CUM NIHIL MIHI. ETIAM MORTUO. POTIUS FUIT. QUAM UT TIBI GRATIAM REFERREM. UTINAM PLENIUS. ILLUD AUTEM TIBI POL- THE DREAMER. 145 POLLICEOR. NULLUM A ME STU- DII OFFICIUM. QUOAD VIXERIS. ET MIHI LICEAT. TIBI DEFUTIJ- RUM. IDIBUS APRILIBUS. Soon after the Palladian had been pleaf- ed to make me a prefcnt of this curious ma- nufcript (vvhich cannot but be acceptable to the learned, and may probably give rife to a new fed: of philofophers) he was fummon- ed to a general council. For he was a citizen of diilinftion, and greatly eftcemed by all the inhabitants of pALLANTis, who were friends to liberty, and lovers of their country. We had not therefore leifure for a longer conver- fation. He only allowed himfelf time to fay to me at parting: The letter of Cocceius hath confirmed an opinion, which I have inti- mated above, and which I have conftantly entertained from my youth, viz. That there were originally created various fpecies of men, U as J4-6 THE DREAMER. as well as cf brutes. And this I infer'd, by remarking the great inequality of thofe tem- pers and talents of the mind, with v/hich children are bom, and, that fo many feem to be framed, with a ftupid or evil difpofiticn, ?nd to grow up into folly or vice from the feeds of nature. The Palladians, who lately delerted from us, were yiaturally void of truth, and very apt, even from their in- fancy, to [ay the thing, which was not. And, altho' this odious quality was in fome mea- fure correfted by their education, or rather difiembled by their cunning, yet it often broke out, where their intereil was concern- ed. At prclent they difplay it with the greateft efirontery, and without the leaft remorfe. For tliis is the bcft method of recommending themfelves to the efteem cf the Onocentaurs ; who regard a well-in- vented Lie, efpecially if it produce the efrei^ defigned by it, as a notable expedient }ji politics, and a rnoll excellent ftrata- gen> THE D R E A M E R. 147 gem In war. To proceed with my re- fiedlions : Is it not evident, that there is a greater difference, in the effence cf their fouls, between ibme of our citizens, and moft of the Africans, efpecially the blacks of Guinea, than there is between the latter, and their apes and monkies ? Thofe voy- agers, who have had an opportunity of fur- veying the Hottentots at the Cafe of Good Hope, pronounce them to be much inferior to any of the beafts, which the fame country produces. And the little men of Nova Zembla, and the giants, who inha- bit nearthe Magellan ftreights, have been difcovered to be as favage- animals, as any of thofe, who walk upon four feet. That Hypo- thefis^ which is laid down, and recommended to us by the letter- WTiter, ^ics cogncris ava~ ros^ cfudeles, i^c. mull needs be embraced by every one, who has a manly reafon -, and your better judgment cannot but adhere to this fyftem, fmce it is authorized in your f.i- U 2 cred i4S THE D R E A M E R; crcd books, f 1'he Watchmen, that Is, the princes of the country, or thofe men, who have advanced themiclves higheft in power and in ricliesj ere blind: they are allig- tiorant : they are nil dtimb Docs : yea they are greedy Docs, which can never have enough. Another of thcfe ancient prophets defcribes j the opprefllon and rapine of the princes of Nineveh in this manner '*'The Liont did teare. in pieces enough for his Whelps, and ir cried for his Lioness, and filled his holes with prey ^ and his dens with fpoil. Obfervclikewife, that the poHteft fcholar, and the moft elegant of your holy and infpired writers, hath not Icrupled -)- This is quoted from Isaiah, Chap. 56. ver. 10, II. * And this text from N A HUM, Chap. 2. ver. 12. Altho' our Palladian conformed to the eftablilh- ed religion of his city, and fecmed to be a very zealous worfhipper of Pallas, yet it appears, that he had read our fcriptures with attention and improvement. THE DREAMER. I49> fcrupled to adopt a national refle(5lion, and proclaim a whole people, KAKA GHPIA, EVIL BEASTS. And in another place, he fays, that he had fought with ^ Beasts at Ephesus, that is, with Men, who had the fouls and manners of Beasts, Hominibus fe- RiNis ANiMis & MORiBus. For fo the mofl learned interpreters explain this paf- fage. To thefe facred authors let me add the name of Homer, fmce he feems to have imbibed the fame fentiments, and hath frequently ufed the fame^coarfe language, not refpCiSling the high titles and offices of the perfons, whom he has charafterifed. You muft have particularly remarked, how he treats the great king, who was the captain general, or commander in chief of all the Gre- cian forces. He does not only affign to Aga- memnon the heart and foul of a bead, but he tells us, that his very looks and mien difcover him 150 THE DREAMER. him to be of the brute kind *. The clofe of this letter to Artemidorus fa- vours * I conceive, the Pall ad i an here alludes to the fol- lowing dcfcription, or charadler of the Grecian Chief. Homer. Iliad, 1. i. Ttou DOG in forehead, but in heart a Deer. Pope. Some of Homer's commentators have taken pains to e.x- cufe the ill breeding of his Heroes, and all of them explain thefe opprobrious epithets, or appellations, in a metapho- rical fenfe. They aflure us (and I readily afTent to their comment) that by the expreffion, which I have quoted, Achilles reproaches his General with impudtnce and co-m- ardice. But this does not invalidate, or weaken our new z^'- •pothejii. For with great truth, and therefore confiftcntly with good manners, we may affirm that Man (or FORM of a Man) to be a Beast, whom we know to be an IMPUDENT BULLY,and at the fame time an infamous CUWARD. If THE DREAMER. 151 yours another opinion, to which I have always incHned, viz. That the flate of the ilead is not a ftate of infenfibility ; and that If my Palladian had ever read Cornelius Agrippa,' he would certainly have quoted him in fupport of his fyf- tcm. For Agrippa propofes thofe, as the greatefl brutes, who arrive to the fummit of wealth and power. The court of a great prince, where one would exped to find all the beauties and acccmplifhments of human nature, fmce every perfon there is fuppofed to have had a liberal and polite education, he boldly defcribes, as the den, or habitation of wild beafts and monfters : ^icqidd ufpiam eft teterrimarum helluariim fernjerjttatls, tota h^ec et omnts in atiUatm gregem, quaji in uvicum corpus conjiuxijje "videtur. Illicftrocitas Iconis, fa-jitia tigridis, truculentia urji, teme- ritas apri, rapacitas lupi, fraudulentia 'vulpis, mordacitas cams, I'indiSla cajneli, timiditas leporis, petulantia hirci, immufiditia fuisjjioliditas afini,fcurrilitasfimi(e : ibi furentes Ccntauri, ibi perniciof^e Chimtsra, ibi infanientes Satyri, ibi fccdfS Hc.rpyia, ibi improba Sirenes, &c. CoRNELo Agrip. de Oeconomia Regia, fiveAuLiCA. 152 THE DREAMER. that they do not lofe their complaifancc and affection for thofe friends, whom they leave behind them in the world. AU moft all Religions, both ancient and mo- dern, allot us Guardian Angels, : and thofe, perhaps, may be our dead friends, who during their lives were known to be men of truth and honour, and were reverenced for their moral and focial virtues. I could, with great pleafure, enlarge on this fubjedl. But, as my country demands my immediate attendance, I muft conclude with the fhort hint, which I have given you, and at the fame time with my fmcerefl wifhes for your prof- perity •, that you may ever retain the love and clleem of your excellent friends, who are living, and never want the feafonable advice and affiftance of thofe, who are dead ; and, that all your adions may be influenced, and direfted by thofe benevolent and courteous beings, who poffefs an extemporary know- ledge, and forefee, what is fittefl for you. THE THE DREAMER. 153 THE *T EMPLE of Hercules. THE worthy Palladian had fcarceleft me, when I efpied my noble friend and guide the Count of , who was coming to our quarters. I advanced to meet him, and took this firft opportunity of congratulat- ing him on the honour he had acquired by X the * The day, preceding this night's Dream/ I had read ever Mr. Bellicard's Observations upon the Anti- quities of Herculaneum. This city was dedicated to Hercules, and feveral temples were there erefted to him. Some of thefe have been laid open, and particularly defcribed by the Virtuoji, Antiquaries, and Architefts, who have lately furveycd that famous fpot of ground, I am not without hopes, that the temple and ftatue of Hercu- les, which I vifited in my fleep, and which I have here faithfully reprefented in writing, may hercufter be dif- covered in Hercvlaneum, 154 T H E D R E A M E R. the late defeat of the Onocentaurs. He received my compliments t\'ith his ufual mo- defty, and then very politely turned the dif- courie to my own concerns. Now, fays he,you have examined into the ftate of the Manu- factures, you have taken a view of the RosicRuciANs,you have attended the court of Justice, you have vifited the temple of Health, and you have furveyed the city of Pall ANT is, and know the prefent con- dition of this learned republic : it only re- mains, that you inform your felf of the re- ligion ofthePAPYROPOLiTES. Fot, unlcfs you give fome account of the religion of a coun- try, fo difcant from your own, where the peo- ple do not want underftanding, and r,re ncver- thelefs idolaters, even many of the mo ft faga- cious amiong them,, you muft expeft, that your travels will be deemed imperfefb. As it hap- pens, you have a prefent opportunity of fup- plying this efTential article, and fatisfying your own curiofity, without mAich trouble or THE DREAMER. 155 or expence. For this is a feftival of the God, whom thefe people pretend to worfliip in fin- cerity and truth •, elpecialiy thofe who are his immediate dependents, or who have al- ready received, or are in expecflation of re- ceiving, fignal marks of his favour. There are four days in the year, particularly con- fecrated to him. Two of thefe days are call- ed the Grand Festivals •, the other two, Feri^minores, ortheLsssER Festivals. This is one of the leiTer feflivals. They are all diftinguilhed in the Papyropolitan ca- lendar by large blue characters, as our feafts and holydays are marked with red. The words of dedication are borrowed from the Roman calendar, Herculi magno Custo- Di. He is that Hercules, who is ffyled the God of riches •, who is not only himfelf poITelTed of an immenfe treafure, but is able in an inftant, to give an increafe of wealth to his votaries i and to make any of them as rich, X2 as 156 THE DREAMER. as the richcfl and moft potent Jew in EuropI* or Asia, without diminifliing his own ftore. The old* Romans, who knew his power, facrificed to him under this character : and from them, the Papyropolites pretend to have derived their God, as well as many of the ceremonies of their religious worfhip. Tho' in this, as in all other religions, are di- Verfe feflaries •, and fome of the moft learned men in the country are profeffedANTiHERcu- LEANS, or infidels; who have no more venera- tion for the PapyropoLitan Hercules, than * O fi uniam argenti Fors qua mihi monjlret, ut illi Thefauro itinjento, qui mercenartus agrum Ilium ipfum mercatus aravit, dives amico' Hercule ! Hor. Oft Sub rnjiro crepet argenti mihi feriay dextr* Hercule! Perf. T H E D R E A M E R. 157 tiian they would have for a Cbintfc, or Indian pagod. They alledge, that all the votaries of this deity are craftfmen, or enthufiafts, who are either bribed, or betrayed into the religi- on, which is here eftabliflied. And I am apt to believe, when you have fufficiently con- templated the figure of the God, and the ce- remonies of the day, you will rank your felf on the fide of the Antiherculeans. While my noble companion was thus preparing me to comprehend the religion of the Papyro- poLiTEs, we came to the temple of Her- cules. The temple was a Gothick building arched pver. The walls were hung with ta- peftry,wrought in different compartments, re- prefenting the labours ofHERcuLES. A porti- co, which leads to the temple, and built in the fame tafte, I found to be one hundred and fifty paces long. Thefe ftrudures feemed to have an air of grandeur without any magnificence." The portico, as well as the temple, were fo much crouded on account of the feftival, that 158 THE DREAMER. that we could not poffibly have got in, if a principal officer belonging to the Godjoblerv- ing us to be ftrangers, had not caufed a lane to be made for us. The throne was raifcd about four feet above the fioor, and was covered with culhions of crimfon velvet, fringed with gold. Four fmall pilafters, curiouPiy wrought, which fcemed to be a modern work, fupport- ed the canopy over the throne. The idol was a wooden flatue of Hercules of u gi- gantickfize, and twice as big, as the Her- cules Farnefe, or the ftatue of Hercules lately finifhed by Rysbrack. This idol was fo contrived, and fafhioned by the help of wires and fecret fprings, that he could move his head, roll his eyes, open and fliut his mouth. He fcemed to have as m.uch com- rnand of his arms, head, and legs, as any of his votaries ; and could make what ufe of them he pleafed, or his officers picafcd, who behind the fcenes diredled all his motions. He was cloathed in a magnificent Roman habit. THE D REAMER. 159 habit. His tunic was of brocade, and his toga^ or upper garment, of purple velvet, cu- rioufly embroidered with palm branches, as the fymbol of his viflories. He had a velvet cap, or bonnet on his head, with a large tuft of diamonds in the middle. His beard was of gold, and reached down to his waifb. It was more curioufly wrought, and of m.uch greater value, than the golden beard of lEs- cuL APius, of which that learned fon of Apol- lo was robbed by Dionysius the tyrant of Syracuse. On the right hand of the idol was his club, and his lion's (kin ; and on the Ictt a globe of the earth, of about twenty- four inches diamefer. Before him, on a large fquare table (I fhould fpeak more pro- perly, if I called it a ftage) which was cover- ed with a rich Perfian carpet, were four heaps of ingots, piled up with art, and placed at an equal diflance, fo as to preferve the fym- mietry of the table. Thefe ingots, as I judged, could not weigh lefs than two tuns of gold. On i6o THE DREAMER. On each fide of the table was a rank of grave perfons, richly habited, after the eaftern fallii- onjin robes of filk, or velvet of various colours. Their beards were of the length and fize of thofe, which are commonly worn by the Vizirs, and great officers of ftate in the Grand Seignior's court. Three, who flood nearefl; the God, were adorned with black beards mixed with filver. At firfl fight I took them to be Rabbins. But viewing them more at- tentively, I fancied, that two of them re- fembled the Satin Sages, or Intendants of the Paper Mill, of whom I have relat- ed fuch wonders. Their hands were folded on their breafts, and their eyes were inceflantly fixed on the wooden idol. Whilil I v/as con- templating the mien and habit of thefe vene- rable gentlemen, and was confidcring how this vaft wealth was to be difpofed of, I heard the found of a kettle-drum and trumpet, which continued about five minutes. As foon as this martial mufick ceafed, the whole congrega- tion THE D R E A M E R. i6i tion fell on their knees, and remained in that pofture, till the God had devoured all the gold on the table, and till a fecond, third, and fourth courfe (each of the fame quantity and weight of metal, as the firft) were ferved up, and cleared in the fame manner. For this purpofe he ufed both his hands, and turn- ed the ingots down his throat fo expeditioufiy, that he had finiflied his meal, although it con- fided of fo many courfes, in lefs time, than an oPirich could fwallow ten ounces of iron. Between every courfe he drank about two gallons of aurumpotahile^ v/hich v/as prefented to him by his cupbearer in an huge China flagon. The people then rifing up, the kettle- drum and trumpet founded again. When his Godfhip taking up the globe of the earth, placed it very adroitly upon his right flioul- der. This aflion was followed by an hum of applaufe from the whole affcmbly. Then one of the three (ages (whom I mentioned above to have been diftinguifned from the reft of y the ir.2 T HE D R E A M E R. the God's attendants by their black beards, intermixed with fiiver threads, or imall filver wires) after having made his obeifance to the idj], advanced to the front of the ftage, and addrefied himfelf in a fliort fpeech to the con- gregration. He firfl: recounted the labours of Hercules in the ftyle and mJlnner of all the mythological writers, whether orators or poets. He demonftrated, how ferviceable he had been to the world in combating giants, de- ftroying m.onfters, and fcourging tyrants. He did not forget to celebrate his deification, and took particular notice, that this aft had been performed with all the circumflances of honour, and with the confent and approbation of all the gods and goddeffes, even of Juno herfelfi who,altho' fhe appeared to be his moft inveterate enemy during his progrefs on earth, yet after his death was reconciled to his eminent virtues, and allowed him a feat in heaven. Then he charged his countrymen ferioufly to reilefl, and ever remember with the moft grate- THE DREAMER. 163 grateful hearts, what an happinefs it was to the Papyropolites, in preference to all other nations, to enjoy the prefence and pro- teftion of fiich a pow^erful deity : to which alone was to be afcribed the flourifhing flate of their commerce, the temperature of their climate, the fertility of their foil, the courage of the men, the chaftity of the women,and the liberty, peace and plenty pouefled by all. Finally, he thanked the good people for their ample offerings and contributions, which en- couraged his Godfhip to extend his influence, and enabled him to fupport with chearfulnefs the weight of the globe, to preferve it's ceco- nomy, and prevent any diforders, or deviati- ons in the Copernican fyflem. Having faid this he blelTed the land, and difmified the congregation ; whilft the God attended, and fupported by the proper officers, withdrew into his fanduary. The fhouts and acclama- tions of the Papyropolites, as they, depar- ted out of the temple, teftified their joy, and Y 2 the i64 T fl E D R E A M E R. the farce, or fcfbival concluded with the fame martial mufic, which we had heard before. I llayed, with my noble friend, behind all the reft-, to take a more cxacl view of the temple, and while we v/ere v/alking round it, I afked him fuch queftions, as were neccffary for my better information I lirft: defired to know the quality of thofe reverend perfons, who v/ere ranked on each fide of the table, or ftage during the folemnity. Thofe, faid he, with the black beards mixed with fdver, are the three Arcii-priests, or Lieutenants of Hercules. 'They have the fupreme di- redlion of all affairs, both fpiritual and tem- poral : they prefide in all the councils : they difpofecf all honours and employments : and the God himfelf can aft nothing without their concurrence and approbation. The others, whom you obi'erved to fband in the famiC rank, and next to the Arch- priests, are t'he prien:s of the temple, and the God's dome- itif ofHccrs, to whom, the care of his pcrfon is com- THE DREAMER. 165 commited. They arc enjoined to attend dai- ly on him, to wafli and paint him, as often as it may be necefTary : they are particularly to take care, that he be not maimed, or 'worm-eaten ; that neither rats, nor mice, nor any vermin defile his body, or make choice of the trunk for their habitati- on. They are to fee, that the motion of his head be eafy and graceful, that all his joints be pliable, that the wires and fprings be kept very clean, and well oiled. They ufe on this occafion the oil of rofes from the East Indies, which gives fuch a fragrancy to the image, and fills every place, where he has been, with fuch a grateful per- fume, as even excels ambrosial odours : from whence not only the vulgar, but the mofl learned poets colleft arguments to afHrm. his divinity : Man/it odor : Pojfes fcire fuijfe deum. In fhort it is the duty of thefe great officers to be always fure, that the whole ma- chine be in goqd order and repair, fo that on any i65 THE dreamer; any emergency the God may be ready to ap- pear in public, and be fit for prefent ufe and aflion. They have moreover the cuftody of his facred veflments, and new drefs him at ilated times, particularly on every feftival ; always according to his high dignity, and the feafon of the year. They are obliged to be vigilant, and conflantly on their guard to prevent the evil defigns of infidels, or of any facrilegious robbers, who may attempt to enter his fan6luary by night, and pluck his golden beard, like thofe other rogues, *who ufed formerly to fcrape his golden thigh in his temple at Rome. Thefe priefts have affumed the fame titles, which were anciently given to the priefts of Hercules. They • Htec ihiji ncn funt, tnhior extat facrilegus, qui RaJat iaauratt femur HzKCVLis. Juvenal. Sat. 13 } THE DREAMER. 167 They are called * Potitii and Pinarii, and they could not borrow, or invent more proper appellations. The inhabitants, how- ever, always call them Long-beards ; be- caufe their beards, which are artificial and of a great length, as you muft have remarked, are their chief ornaments, by which they are diftinguiHied from the inferior priefts and magiftrates •, who, in the fame manner, as all the other natives, are commanded by the laws to be clofe fhaved. Their llations are opulent, as well as honourable : for they have large falaries annexed to their employments, to which they are raifed, like the Chinese Man- -Primufiue Potitius au£ior. Et domus H E R c u L E I cufios P I N A R I A facr'i. Virgil. If the reader will pleafe to confult the commentators on this paiTa^e of Virgil, he will learn the hiilory of the PoTiTU and Pinarii, and the excellent {qualities, fron^ which their names were derived, i68 THE DREAMER. Mandarins, by their merit only. But then their merit is limited to a fiiigle point. There is no enquiry or examination concerning their literature, their morals, or their fecial virtues. But every candidate for one of thcfe high offi- ces, which is to bring him near the perfon ot the God, mud have given fignal proofs of his affecSlion and attachment to the Arch- PRiESTS, and of his orthodoxy and zeal for the eflabliflied religion. Profelytes, indeed, from any other religion are received, and rev/arded, and fometimes employed, if they are perfons of figure and condition. But I have remarked, that they are as little efteemed, as the renegades among the Turks, and never trufted with any poll of power. When the Lieutenants of Her- cules, and thePoTiTii andPiNARii meet in a grand council, or a general fynod, the Papyropolites tremble. For the de- crees of the fynod are always opprellive, and THE DREAMER. 169 and fometimes very fang a i nary. There are ma- ny among them, efpecially the renegades, who third for the blood of their fellow citizens •, which, however, they always fhed under the Ihew and colour of religion ; im- puting their own malevolence and impieties to the God, whom they worlhip. They pre- tend, he is grievoufly offended, and is not to be appeafed but by an extraordinary adl of devotion, by grand and folemn procefiions, and human vidims. On thefe occafions they revive the barbarous rites of the Druids. They feize a certain number of the inhabi- tants (generally men of the befl families) whom they facrifice with great ceremony, but with as little concern, as if they were Slaughtering an ox, or a goat. In truth this is only a more political method of profcribing their enemies, by fanftifying thefe horrid afls of cruelty, in order to prevent the com- plaints and remonftrances of the people. Z On lyo T H E D R E A M E R. On r.he laft grand feflival of Hercules, I beheld with tears a captive brought to the aitar, who had more real virtue, than any of thofe, who condemned him. This un- happy vidlim died with fo much refolution and compofure of mind, as to raife the com- pafllon of all, who were fpedtators of the bloody fcene, except the Long-beards only, who, when they put on their beards and other enfigns ot office, feem to diveft themfelves of all humanity. How could it enter into the he^rt of man to conceive, that, byfacrificing fome eminent and beautiful part of his own fpecies, he could picafe his maker ? Were Raphael now living, what would he think of us, if to do him honour we were to burn hisCARTOONs ? And would not that excellent ftatuar}', who formed the "Venus of Medicis, believe all the Florentines to be mad, if in order to celebrate his praife, they were to disfigure, or deflroy that inimitable piece of m THE DREAMER. 171 tirt and workmanfhip ? I will make no more refieclions at prefent on this barbarous cuf- tom : But, that you may better comprehend the form of government, as well as the reli- gion, which is here eftablilhed, it will be necef- lary to fay fomethingmore of the three Arch- priests, to whom the idol has delegated his whole power; They were born with fu- perior talents, which have been improved by the beft education. They are the wiieft le- giflators, the moft prudent counfellors, the moft upright judges, the mofl eloquent ora- tors, and the moll dexterous negotiators, that ever exifted in any age or country fince the deluge. Their fkill in military and mari- time affairs is not to be equalled j and the greateft generals, and moft experienced ad- mirals in the Papyropolitan dominions are proud to receive their inftruflions from thefe eminent fages. But they are chiefly renowned for their politicks : This is an Z 2 ex- 1/2 THE DREAMER. exquifite art ot their own invention, by which they are able to govern the empire of the world with as little trouble, as is required to rule their own families. Such is the cha- rafter, which is given of the Arch-priests by their favourites and dependents, and par- ticularly by the whole college of the Ro- sicRUciANS. But they have not the fame reputation with other confiderable focicties, A great majority of the orthodox Herc cle- ans, and even fome of their own clients and followers are very fparing of thefe vain and extravagant commendations ; altho', out of a principle of gratitude, they always ex- prefs a due refped for their perfons. But would you hear the reverfe of this pompous charafter ? Examine their merit by the judg- ment of an Antiherculean* He will deny, they have any talents, which ought to place them above the level of the meanell citizens. He will tell you, that in all the fchemes, which they form -themfelves, or which THE DREAMER. 175 which are offered to theni by others, they never weigh the conveniences and inconve- niences: that they never decide any affair of importance with candor or wifdom, and confcquently they can never attain any real glory or applaufe. He will tell you, that the religion, over which they prefide, is the w^orft kind of fuperftition and idolatry : that their interefl: is always oppofite to the public welfare : and, that their political fcience, of which their fycophants and dependents boaft fo much, is wholly applied to maintain their power, and confifts in corrupting eve- ry thing, that is go'od, and in bribing an in- dolent and infatuated people with their own money. When my noble conductor had given me this account of the Arch-priests, and whilft I was looking on the tapeftry, with which the walls of the temple were adorned in honour of the day, one of the PoTiTii, obferving me to be a flranger, whom 174 T II E D Iv E A xM E I^. whom he had never {cqi\ before, afl^c'd me, How I liked the folemnity. I an- fwered frankly (for we feldom difPemble in our dreams) that I had often been aftonifhed in remarking the force and prejudice of edu- cation, and, that a whole people fhould catch fuch a fpirit of enthufiafm, as to be wrought into a belief of the greateft abfurdi- ties, in contradidion to the evidence of all their fenfes. I do not wonder, faid I, that many parts of the earth in the days of igno- rance and fuperllition have worlhipped gods, which were made by the hands of men. But in this enlightened age,* and in a country, where the liberal arts and fciences are profelT- ed, and fo well cultivated, to believe, that a piece of wood, or ftone, can be endued with felf motion, like * Vulcan's golden waiting- maids * I might likevvife have mentioned Vulcan's golden Tripods or Joint Stools, which, as wall as his golden Women, were automatcus, and inftinft with fpi- i-it. THE DREAMER. 175 maids in Homer, and not only perform the funclions of a rational creature, but even claim the powers and attributes of a God, is a deplorable degree of madnefs. Madnefs ! replied the pried with great indignation. Why thinkejl thou not that he is a God ? Seejl thou not^ hozu he eatcth and drinketh ? I told him, that the fame queftions had been afked, about three thoufand years ago, concerning the f fame Hercules, tho' he went then by another name, was made of better ituiF, and was content with more natural food, and a lefs fumptuous and expenfive banquet : that the wonderful performance, however, which in thofe days was afcribed to him had been eafily deteded, and found to be a trick of his priefls, rit, always obedient to their mailer's call, and run- ning from one place to another, as he was pleafed to re- quire their attendance Homer. Iliad. E. 15. -f- Hercules was v/orlhipped by the Babylonians and Indians. They called himBcL, or Belus. His tlatue In Babylon was of brafs. 176 THE DREAMER, priefts, v/ho for fuch an high crime and grofs impofition on thfe prince and people were ca- pitally punifhed: that the miracles of this day I conceived to be as bungling, a piece of work, as the other •, and if I were permitted to fearch the temple, I would foon difcover the trap-door and the fecret repofitory of thofe heaps of treafure, together with all the mtrum poiaink, which had been tunnelled into the wooden trunk, or (to fpeak more reve- rently) which had been fwallowed by their God. I put the prieft in mind of fome, much more wonderful, a<5ts of the fame nature, which were recorded by hiftorians, and had been performed by mere mortals, without any fupernatural afTiftance. Amongft others I mentioned the * giant in Rabelais, who fwal- • This giant, called Widenostrils, notwitbftand- ing his quick digeflion of fuch a quantity of wood, fails, brafs, and iron, was choaked with a lump of frefh but» ter, which he eat by the advice of his phyficians. THE DREAMER. 177 fwallowed wind-mills, which were his daily food : And for want of which, at the times of his ufual meal, he fwallowed all the fkillets, kettles, frying-pans, dripping-pans, and all the brafs and iron pots in the land. And then, in honour of my countrymen, I extolled the in- genuity and abilities of thofe artifls, who can cat fire, and by taking in a fufficient quantity of that element both liquid and folid, will make as hearty a meal, as an hungry Ger- man, when he has a large difli of four grouts fet before him : A moft aflonifhing deed ! and fuch as their God could not attempt without endangering his facred perfon. I added, that I had formerly known an emi- nent puppet-mafter, who could have furnifh- ed them with a more neat and elegant com- pofition of wood and wire, and better fitted for their purpofe: For J Powel, which was A a the % PowEL, the puppet-mafter, fiourifhed in the reign of queen Anne. He has been celebrated by Bicker- »TAFf. 178 THE DREAMER; the name of this ingenious mechanic, would have given the image fpeech, as well as mo- tion and adtion : And further, that I was acquainted with a famous |1 Harlequin, now living (for his marvellous feats furnamed the Sorcerer) who could change himfclf into a lion, or an oftrich, or enter into a quart bottle, as eafily, as one of thofe powerful Genies, of whom fuch wonders are related in the Arabian and Persian tales: that this man's art and invention would have been very ufeful to them in the conftruftion of their Hercules •, but efpecially in the contrivance and management of the fcenery, and a due difpofition of the religious ceremonies, which he would have embelliilied, and fanc^ilied by fuch a feries of legerdemain miracles, as might perhaps have deceived a wifer people, than 1] Harlequin Sorcerer fiourilhcd in the reign of king George the feccnd. THE DREAMER. 179 than the Papyropolites. As to his God- fhip's bearing the globe of the earth upon his fiioulders, I luppofed, (as I told the prieft) that this was performed in imitation of the Grecian Hercules, who, to manifcft to the world his prodigious ftrcngth, undertook to relieve Atlas, and fupport the weight of the heavens. But, as they could not but be fenfible, this was a fable invented to fig- nify, that * Atlas was a great proficient in aftronomy, and Hercules had fpme know- ledge in the fame fcience, I confidered this particular ceremony, as a very abfurd and childifh aftion. For who could not do thq fame thing with as much eafe, as a baker can takeup his empty bafket, or a fchool-boy carry his paper-kite at his back ? The prieft grew A a 2 angry * Atlas was a king of Mauritakia. He was a great aftronomer. Some hlftorians give him the honour of inventing the fphere : tho' others, yvich more rcaion^ aicfibe this invention to Archimedes. •j8o THE DREAMER. angry, and replied, that he did not think it decent in a flranger, as I was, to turn the moft facred myfteries of their religion into ridicule : that, whatever injurious opinion I might con- ceive of their Hercules, they acknowledg- ed him to be the tutelar God of their coun- try, and the fame Herchles, the fon of Ju- piter, whofe labours had made him im- mortal : that, what had been juft now traqf- a<5led in the temple, was not pricfb-craft, or any deceit or illufion, as I had infmuatcd, but a fuper-natural ad of power, worthy the deity of the place : that, in cafe I were per* mitted to fearch the vaults of the temple, and all the recelTes of the fandtuary (a liberty, which is only allowed by their conftitution to the Arch-priests) he afTured me upon his honour, that I fhould not find any part of the gold, that had been offered to the God that day j nor would one grain of it ever be feen again in the land of the Papyropolites. JBerc I interrupted the prieft, by afking him, whether THE DREAMER. i8i whether this was not a tacit proof, that their God was a counterfeit •, fince he was unen- dowed with a greatnefs of mind, and the nobleft and moft fhining qualities of the an- cient Hercules. For the latter had as mucn generofity, as courage : He rewarded the virtuous, as often as he relieved the ' op- preffed j and he detefted the rich and the co- vetous, as much, as he defpifed the coward and the knave. * When he was received into heaven, and congratulated by all the gods on his deification, he very politely returned them thanks, and complimented every perfon, ex- cept Plutus, the fon of Fortune. When Jupiter afked him the reafon, why he refufed to * Ctelo receptus propter 'virtutem Hercules, ^um gratulantes perfalutdjfet deos, Veniente Pluto, qui Fortune ejl flius, A'vertit oculos : caufam quafi'vit Pater : Odi, inquit, ilium., quia malis amicus efly Simulque ohjeiio cunila corrumpit hero. Pa^DRr i82 THE dreamer; to falute Plutus : Becaufe, fays Hercules," he is a friend to knaves and villains, and em- ploys his great wealth to corrupt mankind. Hence I infer, that the God of th? PapyrO' POLITES, who loves gold fo well as to eat it, and, tho* he muft now be poflefled of many tuns of that metal, yet is fo fordid, as to make no ufe of it, at icad never to ufe it for any good or laudable purpofe, may be Plu- tus, but cannot poflibly be the benevolent, the magnanimous, the bountiful Grecian, or Roman Hercules. I then condemned, in very flrong terms, the barbarous cuftom of facrificing their fellow-citizens on the altar of Hercules. This I alledged to be ano* ther argument againft the genuinenefs and divinity of their God. For the fon of Jupi- ter and Alcmena abhorred fuch cruel immolations j and it was for thefe crimes he put -f- BusiRis to death i although the altars of ■f Ergo ego foedantcm perecp.ino temp! a cruore BUSIRIN THE DREAMER. 183 of that tyrant were not polluted by the blood of his own fubjedts. The prieft feemed at firft a little puzzled how to anfwer my objec- tions. At length he made me this reply : All things arc fubjed to change •, and neither gods or men are the fame now, as they were two or three thoufand years ago. Our Hercules is genuine. But when we imported him, or, to fpeak with more politenefs and re- fpedl, when we invited him into this country, we covenanted to furnifh him, on every one of his teftivals, with a certain quantity and weight of gold ; fmce we were informed, this was become his preient tafte, or rather it was the tafte of his youth, now revived, when all other pafTions have fubfided, with a double force in his old age. In return, we promifed to content ourfelves with his prefence, and the honour and protedion of his BVSIKIK iicfrui ? OriD. Met^ Jiif ili^tiiLti nefcit BusiRiDls aras ? VlRG»I-« BwsiRU was a king of Ecvpt, i8+ THE DREAMER. his great name. For his name it felf will fight : and we judge it to be a better fecurity to our (late and rehgion, than a legion of Knights of the Rosy-Cross, or even a nu- merous and well dilcipUn'd Handing army. I havefaid, that even in his youth the love of money was his predominant palTion: And you cannot be ignorant of this circumllance in his characfler, it you are converfant in your own hiftories. For, when he was an Egyptian, or a Tyrian, long before he made himfelf -*. known either to the Greeks, or Romans, he acquired great riches by a fecret trade, which he carried on in your country •, and he was then the wealthieft hero, as he is now the wealthieft God upon earth.* Confult one of your * The learned Dr. Stukely in his Stonehenge has judicioufly collcfted all the pafTages, which are to be met with in ancient authors, concerning the Tyrian Hercules. The Doctor makes it evidently appear, that Hercules was a great merchant and navigator, and the firft THE DREAMER ig^ your learned antiquarians, who has faithfully related the chief adventures of the Tyriajj Hercules, and fhewed, how greatly your ifland, in the firft ages of the world, was ob- liged to him. He will inform you, why our Hercules, in his youth, waS lb fond of gold^ and what excellent ufe he made of it; who in the* fame golden cup, or vefTel, out of which he drank, failed over the great ocean. This is an exploit^ which, you will readily allow, is not to be equalled by the invention, or art of man, and furpafles B b all firft, who imported lead and tin from the Cassiterides; or British Iflands, into his own Country. He fuppofes the Tyrian Hercules to have lived about the time of the patriarch Abraham. * This particular circumftance, or the voyage of Her- cules in his golden cup. Dr. Stukely quotes from AfOLLODORUs J and at the fame time produces many •ther authorities to corroborate Apollodorus's tefti* mony, and prove the certainty of this inarvellous fa^ i86 THE DREAMER. all hiiijian underftaAding. As to the apo_ logueof P^^DRus, to which you refer me, 'tis an elegant ccrapofition, like the reft of lha,rau,thor*s fables, and contains a good moral. But 'tis ridiculoys to wge it, as. an hiftorical i^»' l^ifVTVs, whx) J?as been well defcribed by one of your own poets, is of the rank and nupiber of the infernal deities, and hath never been permitted to afcend • into heaven. Our lis R GUIDES could not therefore have any con- ye-rfatioB with him in. that place. How the quantity apd weight, pf gold, which has thi* cjay been offered up to our God, is digefced, or orhrrvvife difpofed of, is one of tlie ar- mffa imperii, which' l am not at liberty to di'fcl'ofe, or explain, except to fuch perfons only, who have been initiated, after ^tvti^. years of probation, in our facred myfteries. * iri'were to enquire, what is become of that -i»*lJdid:n6t find myftlf capable of objefting any thing of weight to this expoftulation. The dead wealth be. longing THE DREAMER. 187 that immenfe treafure, and thofe invaluable jewels, which from time to time have been offered to the Lady, whom fome of your do6lors place above all other deities, and ftyle (by what authority I know not) the Queen of Heaven i tho', I am affured, flie is not made of better fluff, than our Her- cules ; IhouLd not I very juftiy be re- primanded for my impertinent curiofity, and be told, that fuch a facred myftcry was not to be unfolded to a pagan prieft ? You improper- ly ridicule, as a childifh trick, one of our moft cffential ceremonies, I mean, that dexterity, with which the God takes up the globe of the earth, and places it on his fhouiders : Since by this objedlion you prove yourlelf B b 2 to longing to the holy houfe of Loretto, and the many tuns of gold, which are buried in the vaults of Her- cules, the colleftions oi avatice, craft zad. Juperftitioft^ are a difhonour to the poffeflbrs, and uf^efs to man- kind. ',S8 T H B D R E A M E R; to be little converfant in the learning of the Egyptians. For this is an adion mere- ly fymbolical, and denotes, that without the influence and fupport of this powerful divinity, the juft balance of the globe can- not be maintained, nor the government of the earth duly and equably adminiltred, ;You are fenfible, that the prefent potentates of the earth are continually ftruggling for domi- nion, and ende4vouri|>g to rend from one another fuch tradts of land, as are conti-: guous to their own pofTefTions, or will in- creafe their power ar,d revenues. Now they are all fo perfwaded of the great and ad- niirable qualities of our Hercules, that they never reject his mediation, or refufe to pay obedience to his commands : For his com- mands are always the decifions of equity and wifdom, and leave in us an equal impreflion of the goodnefs of his heart, and the folidi- ty of his judgment. I muft next aflure you, that THE DREAMER. 189 that you are egregioufly miflaken, if you ima- o-'ine, that our God, who is fo v/onderful in his works, is unendowed with fpeech. He is formed of *DopoN^AN oak, which, you know, has not only the power of fpeech, but the gift of prophecy. His voice is har- pionious, his pronounciation eafy, and he talks with great fluentnefs and volubility, when he is alone. For he thinks it beneath his dignity to talk to any one, but him- felf ; unlefs on one of his grand feftivals, when he delivers his oracles, and publickiy exhorts his people to be devout and obe- dient, to make their offerings with chear- fulnefs, and thereby merit his favour and protedion. At thefe feafons he appears in his greateft glory, and all the majeily of the God is then difplayed. I wifli, it v^-'^tq your * Do DONA was a wood, or foreft in Epirus. The oaks in that foreft were not only vocal, but de- liygr^d oracles. 190 THE DREAMER. your happinefs to behold him in this atti- tude, and to hear one of his divine exhor- tations. By this means your mind would be fo enlarged, and edified, that you would probably become as fmcere and orthodox an Herculean, as the moft zealous of the God's domellics, or any of us, who fer\'e at his altar. I will conclude with a full anfwer to your objeflion concerning our human facrifices. Thefe facrifices are occafional and very rare ; fcarce demand- ed more than once in five, or ten years. And then the vidlims, which we have offered, have been Antiherculeans, convidled of blafphemy, or facrilege; or fome o- thcrs, who have been fufpefted of confpi- ring againil the eftabliflied religion. But permit me to afk you two, or three que- ftions. Have not facrifices of this kind been allowed in all ages, to avert the anger of the Gods, or to preferve their favour ? Did not THE DREAMER. 191 not the the great king Agamemnon confent to give up his daughter for this purpofe ? And was not a better man than Agamemnon juft ready to facrifice his beloved fon with his own hands, if he had not been happily prevented by the fame authority, which ap- pointed the vidim ? How many great and good men among the Greeks and Romans have devoted themfelves to 'propitiate their Gods, and to ferve their country ? Was not this a religious cuflom inviolably obferved both by your British and Saxon anceftors ? And did not the latter ufually offer up to their God Woden the fairefl and beft-born of their captives, and frequently prefent him with their own fons and daughters ? To defcend from antiquity to our own times : Does not the religion, which you profcfs, re- quire, and authorize human facrifices ? What elfe are your pei-fecutions, your maflacres, your martyrdoms, your autosdefe? Is not every tribunal of the Inquifition an altar con- fecrated 192 T H E D R E A M E R. fecrated by the blood of your fellow-citizen§ only ? In a word, have not your priefls and your princes half unpeopled both the old world and the new, by facrificing * many millions of the human ipecies, without diftin6lion of fexor age, urging, to excule their cruelties, the laws of their religion and the commands of their God, by which they are bound to ex- tirpate heretics and unbelievers ? But to open myfcif to you with great free- dom, and difclofe my real opinion, I have never fincerely aflented to this article of our religion, nor ever attended thcfe dreadful fo- Icmnities without relu(5tancy. If my advice, or interpofition could prevail, the altars of our Hercules fhould never be ftained by the blood of his own people i and even the meanell of the * One of their own bifhops acknowledges, tliat the Spaniards put to death in America fifteen millions of Chc natives ; other writers fay, forty millions. THE DREAMER, 19 the Antiherculeans Ihouldbe fpared, and pardoned: And therefore I am truly concern- ed, that, with regard to thefe men, we have ex- tended the feverity of the Jewish laws ; and do not only puniih the children for the crimes of their parents to the third and fourth, but even to the fjuentieth generation. The Antiher- cuLEANS are, indeed, a numerous fed : They are profelled enemies to our holy religion : They ridicule our mod facred myfteries : They daily blafpheme our God : They cen- fure the conduft of his pricfts with great acri- mony ; and fometimes, over their cups, they grow tumultuous, and proceed to threatnings. But there is no danger to be apprehended from them : They are not formed for great enter- prizes : They have little judgment, and iefs courage : And, which is our principal fecu- rity, they have no manner of confidence in one another. So that *tis in our power to create fufpicions and jealoulies amongft them, as often as we find it expedient, and fuitable C c tQ 194 T H E D R E A M E R; to our intereft, and the purpofes of our ad* miniftration. If weobferve an Antihercu-* ^EAN to be a man of fingular merit, and to be univerfally efteemed, we need only invent fome idle ftory to his difadvantage *. The Antihi-rculeans immediately fwailow it : They ftem to be pleafed with it : They pro- pagate * I'his charader of the Antiherculeans is not un- applicable to a certain fet ofpoiiticians amongft us, who feem to bear a greater hatred to their friendsj than to their enemies, and whom I always confider as the moft nialcvolent beings, and the worft kind of spies and in- FORMEk*. For my part, I fhould think it lefs infamous to keep company with parfon B — co> than with parfon T , or Dr. or Mr. — — — of Oxford. T rides once a week to Bath, and the other two travel once a day round the university, on purpofe to defame fome worthy m.an of their own party May we not boldly pronounce thefe wretches, according to the {y- ttem of CoccEius, to be animated by the fouls of trutes ; who thus deform fociallife, and aft diametrically oppofite to all the principles of truth and honour, of wliich they make fuch a pompous profeflion ? — Compare this charafter with w hat is faid hereafter of the citizens ^'9f Pailantis. the" ^dreamer. 195 pagate it in all places with equjjl indullry anji ^bitternefs: . A'^j ^^ ^ f'^w days, they are ahk, much to thejr fatisfadion, to blacken tlic rfaireft and brighteft character in their whole .commLUiity. Further: They are fo addicbed to their pleafurds and diverfions, and fo foll- -citous to maintain their pretious perions, their ,horfes, and their dogs, in good plight, that fthey leave no roQin lor any other fpeculations, • or allow themfclvesleifure to ftudy either men, or books. I could mention Jbme points of ,the greateft impprtance, and many favourable -opportuhitigsj Qf,ferying their caufe, whith '.the ANTEHERctJLEANS have loft, becaufe they they would riot lofe a dinner. ^^;iq :■• " :j ::i::r:;-.-: ' -'J • Here the Count interpofed in order to put an end to our difpute, and made this anfwerto theprieft of Hercules : Wliten I hear y4u -"cpndemn the.ctiftorn of facrificing your fellow . citizens on the^ altars of your; Qod^ I. reverence your piety and judgment : At the fame time, I o>vn, your apology for thefe barbarous rices C c 2 is 1^6 THE DREAMER. is colourable, and your recriminations are, in lome meafure, juftly founded. It muft be confefTed, that the lords and governors of the earth, efpecially the great ecclefiafticks, are not more defirous of deflroying their enemies, than they are of opprefllng their own fubjefts. They ftile themfelves the vicegerents and mi- nifters of God, but their ambition, or what is falfly called their glory, prompts them to commit fuch a feries of crimes and mif- chiefs, as fulBciently demonftrate, that their authority is not derived from heaven. You have been mifmformed, and therefore judge very injurioufly concerning the laws and precepts of our religion. We have no right, even the greateft of us, to commit the barba- rities you mention. And we can not be guilty of a more heinous offence againft the fupreme Being, than to murder one another. For the religion of Jesus is the religion of meeknefs and charity, of mercy and peace. As to the ceremony of taking up the globe of the earth, Jac- THE DREAMER. ipy I acknowledge, you have given a clear and diftind anfwer to what my friend hath objcft- ed. There are many adtions of Homer's Gods, which muft necefiarily appear capri- cious and fantaftical to every reader, who does not comprehend the moral of the au- thor's fable : and mod Hieroglyphicks are objedls of laughter and ridicule, until they are fufficiently explained, and then we look on them with complacency and veneration. There is, however, one of your ceremonies, which, give me leave to fay, I cannot but condemn ; and therefore I wifh it were ex- punged out of your ritual, and abolilhed jpy a decree of a general council. Such an a6l, in my judgment, would do great honour to all, who are of the houfhold of Hercules, or attached to him by their in- clinations or employments ; and be no fmall proof or teft of his divinity. The prieft ex- preffed his impatience to know, what the Count was about to propofe. I propofe, faid y^ip THE DREAMER. Ifaid he, that your God fhould content him- -felf with the treafure, which has been provi- ^ded for him by the craft, or magic of Mon- -jc.ECA, and jfhould be obhged, for the future, ctt) remit tbofe immenfe offerings or contribu- -tions, which are demanded from the people 'On each of his feftivals, which are always , r^ifed, and coUedcd by violence and oppref- fion, and if they be continued many years longer, muft impoveriih and enflave your .country. Inflead of thefe golden oblations, revive that fimple and primitive cullom of . offering incenfe, milk and cakes, or the firfl . fruits of your flocks and gardens. This is more agreeable to your ancient theology, and ought to be more acceptable to a God, who profefles himfelf to be a tutelary Being, and a conflant friend to mankind. In truth, * if I might have the honour to advife you, your decree .fhould not be limited to the point • I have mentioned : But this laudable coa- , ceiTion and .a6b of generpHty fhould he car- ried THE DREAMER. 199 tied higher. Even the money, which is a..* nually created by Monceca and his ope- rators, fhould be appHed to a nobler pur-*" pofe, viz. To reward the virtues, and re- lieve the mileries of your people. Let me add. That the Roman Hercules was the protedor of the Muses, and their houfe, for that reafon, was placed near his temple. Thefe excellent ladies have always retain- ed a grateful fenfe of his favours. To ex- tend his fame, they feigned the Judicium Herculis : They fung his labours in all languages : In a word, -f to them he Is wholly \ This is not an uhfeafonable hint to our lords and governors. If the princes of Europe had the fame advantages of a fevere education, by wliich the Chinese emperors are formed, they would know, that their fame and charaders did not depend on the voice of their cour- tiers, but on their own dow, and the orphan ? Or by what appella- tions will you defcribe thofe p s, who have created minifterial eftates out of the revenues of the c , that is, out of the fund appropriated to the fervicc of God, and THE DREAMER. 227 and, by his revealed will, appointed to feed the hungry, and cloath the naked ? Would it not be an indignity to human nature to rank thefe creatures in the clafs of Men ? As to ,the common people, they difcover their brutality on all occafions : Their whole de- fign is to prey upon one another, Torva Uana lupum fequitur^ lupus ipfe capellam : By night they Ileal, they rob, they murder •, and by day they receive bribes with both hands, and without any fhame or remorfe fell their wives, their children, their country and themfelves. In truth, you are in the fame degenerate ftate and fituation, in which Li- VY, when he wrote that elegant preface to his Hiftory, defcribed his countrymen. *' You can neither bear your vices, nor endure a remedy. " For the remedy muft be Iharp and ftrong ; and to make it cfil^dual, there muft be a total change of manners, as well as meafures : And whether you have either courage or inclination to attempt fuch a change^ or fortitude of mind fufficient to Gg2 fupporc 228 THE DREAMER fupporc it, I am in great doubt. You are fliortly to have a new parliament. If a ma- jority of worthy men Ihould appear in St. Stephen's Chapel, they might do much towards a reformation. They might imme- diately flop that fource of corruption, from which mofl of your evils flow : They might prevent the wealth and honour of your nation from being facrificed to a foreign in^ tcreft, which has been the fole caufe of that increafe and load of debts, under which you now labour. Should it ever be your happi- iK'fs to behold a body of fuch iegiflators, influenced by fuch a public fpirit -, honeft CoccEius would certainly commucicate to the world a new fyftem. He would exalt human nature : He would difcover a divine cognation in thcfe great fouls : He would pronounce the British fenate to be an aflembly of Gods. But if the fair.e men, and the fame principles— Here my friend was in- terrupted, and I was fuddenly awaked by the loyal • THE DREAMER. 229 loyal bells, which hung over our heads, and had begun an early peal in honour of the day. For, as foon as I was up, and had confulted my almanack, I found, it was a Royal Birth-day. POSTSCRIPT. 1HAVE certainly difcovered a new country, and I have given a faithful . and exadl defcription of it, as likewife of the * government, the cuftoms, man- G g 2 ners, * As to the Papyropolitan government, I cannot fay, I have been able to define It properly, or to give my reader a juft idea of it. Sometimes it feemed to be a Duumvirate, and fome- times a Triumvirate. Sometimes it was re- prefented to me as an Aristocracy ; at other times it was declared to be an Oligarchy ; and, in my laft ilage, it appeared to be a Theo- cracy. I fhould probably defcribe it in the bed manner. 230 POSTSCRIPT. ners, laws and religion of the inhabitants. But I do not, on this account, claim any- great merit, nor exped: any reward. For I muft acknowledge, tliat I have travelled without fatigue or expence : I have not been fenfible of the change of climate : I have not fuffered the inconveniences of huns:er or thirft, of heat or cold : I have been in no perils either by land, or by wa- ter : And I have met with few infults from the barbarians, through whofe terri- tories I pafTed. Once, indeed, fome dirt was manner, if I were to affirm, it was compofed of thefe feveral fpccies blended together ; and to impute to this ill mixture the fervihty of the grandees, whether priefts or laymen, the immorality and li- centioufnefs of the populace, and the univerfal cor- ruption of all orders and degrees of men in that country. POSTSCRIPT. 231 was thrown on me by the Onocentaurs: but It did not Hick ; and I found my clothes unfolled the next morning. But there is a ftronger reafon, why I dare not boaft of my travels, and which I lament, - as my fingular misfortune. If the Parlia- ment of Great Britain fhould incline to add the region of the Papyropolites to the British Empire, or to fend a co- lony thither, and fhould require me to condudt their fleets and armies, I could not be of any fervice in fuch a grand ex- pedition. For, atprefent, Ihavenoidea of the fituation of this country (which neverthelefs I have fo accurately furveyed) nor do I know in what place of the globe I ought to look for it. It may be a part of the gieat continent of New Holland, or it may be an ifland in the Pacific Ocean, or the very ifland which Captain RODNEV 232 POSTSCRIPT. Rodney (if I 'rightly remember the gentleman's name) was lately commifTion- ed to fearch out. At prefent I can only be certain, what country it is 7iot. It is not Plato's P^epublic, nor Sir Thomas More's Utopia, nor Gulliver's Brob- DiNGNAG, nor his land of the Hou- YIINHNMS. A LEARNED Raeei, who corrcfponds in all parts of the world, and to whom, for that reafon, I communicated thefe memoirs, afTures me, that the Papyro- POLiTES are a nation of iincircumcijcd Philistines : that their dominions, al- though they be not marked in any globe or map, are very exacftly defcribed in the Talmud, with all the great towns, vil- las, temples, rivers, lakes, forefts, ^c: that, if I were a B. or could prevail on myfelf POSTSCRIPT. ^33 myfelf to turn Jew, he would point out this country to me, and the road to it -, but he was not at liberty to acquaint me with fuch an important fecret en any other conditions. We have, faid he, an ancient prophecy, by which we are afTured tha^ we fhall^ fpeedily acquire the fovereignty of this land (where we already bear the chief fway)andthenby gathering together all the Israelites, who are at prefent difperfed over the whole earth, wefhall once more be able to compofe a warlike and formidable nation. If our agents had not been very injudicious, fometimes too rafh, and fome- times too cautious, fometimes as bold as lions, and fometimes frightened by their own fhadows, this prophecy would have been fulfilled before this day. — As I could not comply with the Rabbi's terms, and thought the alternative, which he pro- H h P^^^4 '234 POSTSCRIPT. pofedj'very abfurd, I went from him much difiatisfied, and fully 'refolved, if ever i lliould be able to make another vilit to the •Papyropolites, to acquaint them with this pretended prophecy, and the fecret machinations of the Jews. Having thus failed in my firft attempt, I determined to feek out a Rosicrucian. I knew, there were many of this tribe formerly in England: And I imagined, if I could find out one, he would fatisfy all my enquiries. For the Rosicrucians, like the Jesuits, are acquainted with the exact ftate of their affairs, and maintain a regular correfi:)ondence with their bre- thren. After a diligent fearch, I dif- . covered a knight of this appellation near St. Paul's. He is moreover a fludent in phylic, a philomath, and an almanack- maker. I applied to him: I acquainted him POSTSCRIPT. 235 him with my bufinefs. He read my me- moirs, and then aflured me with great gravity, that the land of the Papyropo- LiTEs is a temoerate illand in one of the Satellites of Jupiter : that he had juft finilhed a perfeft map of that fecon- dary _ planet, which had never been at- tempted by any other hand, and had laid down this Papyropolitan country in its proper corner and latitude. Here I afked him, by what means he corref- ponded with the inhabitants of this pla- net, and how he had been able to make a map of a world, which was fcarce dif- coverable by our beft telefcopes. He an- fwered, that he managed his correi]3on- dence by the ailiftance of Sylphs and Gnomes, which are little fpirits, wholly fubfervient to the order of Rosicruci- ANS, and employed by them, as their ca- H h 2 binet ^36 POSTSCRIPT. binet couriers : that thefe fpirits are very faithful, diligent and a6:ive, and pafs from planet to planet in lefs time, than the beams of the fun fhoot themfelves down on our globe, and almoft as quick, as thought : that they acquaint him daily with the ftate and condition of his bre- thren, in whatever world they may happen to refide : that,by their informationjhe hath acquired fuch a perfecft knowledge of this little orb, that he hath been able to finifh a more exad map pf it, than any geo- grapher hath yet publifhed of the earth. He then faid, (making ftrange grimaces, and diflorting his face in fuch a manner, that whilfl: he v^as ipeaking to me, he feemed to be laughing at himfelf) I }iad been unjufl to the Rqsicrucians iri delivering fuch a character of them: and, that jie hoped, I would expunge, or re-? cant POSTSCRIPT. 237 cant every tiling I had reported to their difad vantage. He put me in mind, and he quoted the fir ft chapter of Job for his authority, that, wherever there is an aflembly of faints (and fuch his brethren of the Rosy-Cross are to be efteemed) Satan will come among them. He ac- knowledged, that in the college of the RosicRuciANs all the vices, I mentioned, n)iz» hypocrify, pride, avarice, and ambi- tion, are always to be found: but as thefe are fins of the Devil, they ought to be entirely charged to his account. He added, that the Rosi crucians, when they are firft eled:ed into the order, abound with virtues of all kinds, and are generally overftocked with learning : But,beforethey can be confirmed, and take their titles, they muft fuffer themfelves to be put into ^ limbec of a particular fhape, but con- trived 238 POSTSCRIPT. trivedto receive them very commodioufly. Herethey remain three days, until all their virtues, and fometimes a great quantity of their learning, are diftilled into fmall vials, which are then hermetically fealed, and delivered into the hands of the Intend- ANTs of the Paper Mill, or the Arch-priests of Hercules j whene- ver permit theie vials to be afterwards unfealed, or opened, or any part of their contents to be returned to the original proprietors, unlefs upon very extraordi- nary occafions, and when it may be for the fervice of the ftate. 1 was ill ediiied by this difcourfe (which was drawled out into the length of a fermon, tho' I have abridged it in a few lines) and as litde pleafed with my Rosicrucian, as with my Rabbi, and therefore I made my POSTSRCIPT 239 my bow, and left him without replying one word. And now, after duly weighing every thing, I think it will be my beft method to addrefs myfelf to our Royal ^Society. There are many members of that learned body,, who have m.eafured the terreflrial globe to an inch, and have made great advances towards a difcovery of the lon- gitude : And, as there are moreover fome among them, who are the moft fagacious antiquarians in the world, this Papyropolitan region cannot pof- fibly be unknown to them: although it may perhaps lie hid in all our maps, under an African Lio?iy or a Sea Monfter^ or, what I moflly fufpeft, under another name. As for my part, I am fo true an English- man, and entertain fuch patriotic fen- timents. 240 POSTSCRIPT timents, that, if this great Society, or the Society of Antiquarians, or any other eminent mathematicians, philofo- phers, or divines, fhall be able to deter- mine the place of the globe, which is in- habited by thePAPYROPOLiT£s, I am very willing to cede, in due form of law, all the rights, claims, privileges, and emo- kiments, to which I may be entitled, as a firfV difcoverer, and content my felf with the honour of preferring the public utility to my private interefl. INDEX. A INDEX. DVOCATES Papyropolitan, the tnoji ufe- ful body of men in their country, p. 80. Drudgi for rhe benefit of mankind, p. 82. Make no diflin£iion of perfons, countries, or religiom. p. 83. Contrail no friend/hips, p. S\. Agamemnon, King of Men, and General of the G-^V-'eks. Had the hearty the foul, and mien of a beaji, accord' ing toY^ovi'S.v^z defcriptionofhim. p. 149, 1 50. AjAx, fffw/a/W/^j" Homer /ortw Onocentaur, honoris cairfa. /. 121. Aleatory Decrees of a fudge in Rabelais, p. yg. Alexander the Gp.z at, intemperate at his meals. Stain d his charaSier by many ivanton aSls of cruelty. /• 95- Better for the ivorld, if he hadne'verheen born. p. 96 Antiherculeans, ha've no more 'veneration for theVk- PVROPOLITAN Hercul5s, than for a Q\iinQiQ or 1 i Jtndiaij [T INDEX Indian paged, p. 157. Their chckraBer hy a priefi of Hercules, p. 193, 194, i95- ^^^^'^ charaatr applied to a fet of politicians amongji us. p. 194. Antipodes. The great man, ivho frjl demonf rated the Antipodes, accufed of Hercfy. p. 136. Apology hy the prief of 'Hzv.cvlzs for human facrifces. p. 19Z. Arch-pH-IEsts O/" Hercules. Their great poiver. Have the fupreme diredion of all affairs. Wear black beards mixed ^nth fil^oer threads, p. 164. Their charaaers. p. 171, 172, 173. Artemiuorus, a citizen ofVA\.i.hnT 15. A manof great kno'vcledge, and much refpeSled for his focial virtues. Recei'ves a letter from the dead, 'which opens a neiu fyjiem of philofophy, and declares the caufe of the great inequality of cur fouls, p. I'^Z, 1 33. AsHMOLEAN LiBRARY. Part of an old Ballad taken from thence, p. zi. AvcusTUS C^SAR eret^s a fatue of hrafs in honour if <»«Onocentaur, called Nicoti. f. 121. AviDiENue INDEX. iii A V I D I E N u s , furnamed the Doc : buaufe it appeared hy bis appetite and his aiiicns, that be had a CaHIKZ fouL p. 129. B BAND of FOUR HUNDRED, the TnattufaBurers of the Paper, and the luorkmen helcnging to the Mill* p. 48. Receive great \Kt\^f beeaufe they refufed to make him one of their Ar- CHONS. /v. 126. To gratifit hit ambition, 'would con- fcnt to a general profcription. p. 1 28. C^ORTiiEUVS Agrippa. His (harcMer of a Court and COWRTIERS. /. 151. C^STAR ri INDEX. CosTAR. J Goldfmith in Lombard-ftrect in the year \S<:fi, Was profecuted for faying, that the Great O ought t» be expunged out of the alphabet, p. 22. Count of J^ifinguijhed from all others of his order by his great integrity, his Jleady love of his country ^ and his uni'uerfal benenjolence. p. 37. His laconic prayer. Is prefented by Mnemosyne 'with a ring from her onvn finger. The MusES fing a grand Chorus in honour of him. p, 38. Is placed at the head of the Palladian armyy and defeats the Onocentaurs. /. 118, 119. His noble and bold propofal to the priefi of YizKCvtzs. p. 222. Is the kind companion and guide of the author of thefe Me- moirs. CotiduSis him thro' the country of the Papy- ROPOLiTES, and explains the cujloms and manners of thofe people, p. omn. At length pajfes 'with tbt euthor out of the PAPYROPOLlTAJi dominion^ «///?>(? Horn-Gate. /. 222. Court 0/" Judicature, or the Temple of Mercury. A dtfcription of it. p. 73. The manner of determining private property among the Papyropolites. /. 74, 75, 76. A particular Cafe, 'with the opinions of faur tniincnt La^wycrs. p. 77, 78. Co I N D E X. vii CovETOUSTJESS, an incurable madnefs. Not fufficiently ex- fcfcd by our Ccmic Writers, f. 2Q2. Cynic Philosophers deri've them/elves from Dogs, p. 140. D D IVIDE & Impera. J political maxim, nuhich feldom fails y nvhere there is room to apply it. PraSi' fed by ^(^if Venetians tcith great fuccefs. p. 2H. Will defray the Corsicans. p. 212. Dreams are from God. The Iliad luas onving to a Dream : And the Hero of the jEneid o^vcd his fettlement in Italy to the fame caufe. p. 12. The ^mof expeditious ijoay of travelling is in a Dream. p. 45. i« oar Dreams iw^ alixiays converfe in our nati've tongue, or in fome other language 'very familiar to us. p. 137. E PAMINONDAS, a "jjifer, better, and an hap- pier man, than Solomon. /. 95. ^ Epic: viu I N D E X. EpiCTETuS vfi'er dreamed to the furfofe. His caut:o?rt therefore againfi tellirg our Dreams to he little regarded, p. 6, Erasmus, his dijfcrtation on the princely qualities of the £agi.£ andhio^. p. J40. FESTIVALS. Four days in the year confecrateH /# Hercules. Timo called the Grand Festivals. The other fwo the Feri^ miNORES, or LESSER Festivals. /. 155. JTi re-Eaters of Great Britain, excellent artiJIs. Perform luhct the Papyropolitan Hercules tan not attempt 'n.'itheut endangering lis facred per^ feu. p, 177. JkAMPTOK, an eminent phyfuiax of OxTORD. What hf faid to his Brtthnn, 'v:ht) atttadid him, ivben be luat i;ing. f. 105. A N 2 A S, birds of pnjage. Carried GoNSAtBS to the moon. Jl fcftr method of con^uey an ce, than ivas i»vcn{id ly B'Jhop Wilkinj. /. 224. General INDEX. ^ pENERAL of the Onocentaurs, a general of parade. Nenjcr goes to the nuar. p. i 27. JJfues all his orders ' from his clofct. Compared to the general of the Je- suits. Munificent, and therefore ivell obeyed, p, 12S. German, %u^(j petitions for the gift of memory, in order to remember all thefigns in London andV \Vii%. p. 37, Ghost, ivho did ijot look like a Gnosr. p. 225. Gil Blas, made a phyfician by accident, p. log. Governors of the Earth, efpecially Ecclefiafiical, not more dcfirous of defraying their enemies, than of oppr effing their o"Jjnfuhje3s. p. ig6. Guardian Angels allotted to us by all Religions. Majt probably be our dead friends, nvho, ivhen ■li'vingt ivere men of truth and honour . p. 152. Gypsies. The fpeech of a Gypsy to the author of thefe Memoirs, p. 20. This Gypsy defended from /^f Egyptian Sybill. Gi-ves the author a fpeci- fnen of her fkilL p. 24. H H A R L E Q^U I N Sorcerer, able to change him, f elf into a lion or an of rich, or, like one of the Genies K k in X INDEX. in the hv..\VAhfi tiiksy to enter into a quart, battel, p. 178. Hercules, the God of rides. U'orpipped. ly the old Ro- mans under this charafier. p. 155. From them derived to the Papyropolites. p. 156. His gigantic feature. Made of ivood, lut jnjhioned in .fuch a manner ly fecret fprings, os to move his heady roll lis eyes, open his mouthy extend his armsy &C. *. 158. His magnificent hahit and golden heard, p. T59. Devours eight tuns of Ingots at one meal. Takes up the globe of the earth, and places it on his right /houlder. p. 1 61. Worjkipped by the Baby- xoNiAKs «»<;/ Indians, and called Bel. /. 17^. His great qualities, nvhen he twas a Grt.ciav. p' |8l. His anfiver to JupiTEK, nuhj he xefufdt^ fa lute P LUT ITS. Abhorred human facrifices, and put Bus IRIS to death for this cruel praSiice. /. 182. M^as the vcealthiefi Hero in tie nuorld, nvhen he icaS a Tyrian trader, p. 184. Sailed over the great Ocean in the fame golden cup, out ofivhich he drank, p. 18 c. Do DO N^ AN oak, the v:ood cffwLich hevoas fnadc,fnce he became a Papyropolitan. l^ndonved nxiith fpeech, but feldom talks to any body hut himfclf p. 189. The protestor oftheMvsES, 'when be ivas ^ Roman, p. 199. Obliged to them for his i?nmor' 1' ' • . . • ,. ' taiity. I N D £ X. xi talify. p. 200. Charged his club and his lions Jkin for a fpindle and dijie'J'. Had t--wo fathers, f. 207, Nenjer looks into any bosky but his -accotnpt-book. p. 209. His ajfociation ikith Pallas 'vcculd debafe kit viajefyy and difgvace his prirjh. p. 210. Hieroglyphics ohjc8s of laug. fter and ridicule, until they 'art fuficiently explained, p. 197. Korn-Gate, the gate cf truth, p. 219. Proved from Homer ««;/ Virgil. Admirably pclijbed^ and aj fmooth and traifpr.retit as glofs. p. 223. Humour, according to the cpinicn of en eminent la\' of that houfe Jlylcd the QuEEN af Heaven. "Not made of better Jiuff, than the Papy- ROPOLiTAN Hercules. /. 187. M M A L A D E Im AG IN A I RE the Lfji patient. Sotne account of a man of this charaSitr. p. 1 08. Manusrcript in Qy t eh'' s College Library /« Oxford, faid to be the Dc^jiTs hand ^writing, p. 137. Marybone-Gardens, the place from 'whence the Dream- er _/^/j out on his trarjcls. Mercury his Temple. See Court 0/^ Judicature. He is the God of eloquence, as alfo the God of pickpockets and thieves. The latter title gi-ven him by Horace, honoris caufa. /. 90. Metaphysicians compared to thofe men, luho chufe t» tra'vel in a cold night, and a bad road, by the help of a dark lanthom. p. 18. Mnemosyne, the Goddefs of memoiy. p. 34. Befi(ywitht gift of memory on all her votaries, p. 36. Mom; x\i I N D E ^v MONCECA Mo szs, /m-nameJ Magus. His civility to th'i Count of and to the author ofthefe Memoirs. /. 60. Trunfmutcs a quire cf po.per into gdd. p. 61. Th- manner of the operation, p. 62. He is chief engineer to the Intenuants. Is content nuith a tenth part of the metal, '^ivhich he makes, p, 63. Compared to Trihcalo in the plcy. p. 64. Mvs'Esfeated in the Temple o/"Mnemosyne. p. 35. Of no ufe to the Papyropolitan gcvernmtnt. p. 208. The Daughters of JVPITBH. and M^EMOsruE. p. 207. The Daughters of CoELUs and Terra. The Daughters of No BODY — -iut created by three eminent Jiutuaries. p. 208. Mushrooms. My Lady forbid to ^walk in •'■ N park. Becaufe Jhe and her children fiole the Mush- rooms. /. 2QI. N ASH Mr. of Bath. The grrateji monaich in Europe. Poffeffed of abfdute pcwer by the confent of a 'warlike and opulent nation. Hath reigned more than forty years luith univcrfal ejieem. Hath embel^ ii/hed his feat of empire, p. 47. Preferred to hvcvs-' TVS C^SAR. /. ■^. Oil INDEX. x« O OIL of Roses from the East Inptes, vfcd alottt the image of Hercules. Excels Ambrosial o- dours. /'. 165. Omphale, the miftnfs of \\zv.cv\.i%. 7hefory phflf.ntlj told by Ovid. p. 207. Onocen'TATJR.S male an inci:rJionintoY hl,\.hV)\\. Attach tht city o/Tallantis. Part of it ceded to then:, p. 114. They conclude a truce nvith the Palladians. p. 115. j^re incited by the drftrters to Ireak it. Eu- d^aniour to poffefs themf elves of the nvhole city. Re^ cei've continual fupplies from the Papvropolitan Pligarchy. p. 116. Their Jhcuts before an en- gage?nent, compared to the he llofwirg of Mav.s, and the braying 0/" Don QitJlXOTE''s fquire. p. 119. .Are feixed 'With a panic. Their fratagem to efape nvithout much lofs. p. 1 20. Pfefend to be defended from Apuleius and the noble matron, called^hsi- PHAE AsiNARiA. But are of a more ancient race, p. T28. Styled in the prophecies ©/"Isaiah, The WILD Beasts of the Island, /. 130. The Golden Calf their chief idol. p. 131. Encou- raged by a nenv largefs bejionxied on them. Receive orders to "venture a general battle 'v:iih the Pall ad x- A>:5. p. 211. • "■' Opinion xvi. . INDEX. Opjnion of a great laivjer concerning Qnixote ati^ Gulliver, 6^ dt2ze«sc/?M.LmTis dcfcendcdfrom a colo- ny tf Athenians, ivhkh nvas fettled in Italy. ^bey hame preferred both //&^ Greek and Rom am languages . f. 112. Their excellent charaSier . p. 113. Their charaSer by the prieji of Hercules. />. 21 i to 216. Sometimes the dupes of their o^n credulity, p. 212. Pro'vcd by tivG injiances. p. 212 ^0215^ Paper Mill. A defcripfion of it. The great Hall, or outivard room, ivhere the inhabitants of the country daily ajfemble to inquire i?ito the fiat e of the manu- fa^urc, p. 54. The Store Room, 'where the ma- terials, of 'vokich the Paper is made, are depoftted and prepared. The great variety of thofe materials, and the luonderful manner of cotnpounding them. /• 55' 56, 57* The Mill Room, tiuice the length of Westminster Hall. Why the author could not exaSly furnjey it. p. 59. Papyropolites, The land of- — Thus denominated from their excellent manufailure o/'Paper. p. 49. Their hunt- ers, traders, hasbandmcn, and mechanics, beafs of burden. AB by inflinSi. Created for the ufe and fleafure of their governors. Have not virtue fiff^" cient to fujlain liberty, p. 2o6. No?ie of the Papy- ROPOLITES, of nvhate-ver quality or condition, per- mitted topafs out of their country at the Horn-Gate^ /. 219, Their government an ill mixture. /. 230, LI " Par XVlll. INDEX. Parliament. The neuo Parliament might fop the fcurce of corruption, and frement the ivealth and honour of the nation from beingf aerified to a foreign interejl. The great difinSiion, njohichfuch « Parlia- ment nuould acquire, p. 22S. Periodical Writers, the chief ornaments of theY,v.G\.\%M nation, p. \. Pnfs through all arts and fciences ivith the fame agility and fuccefs, ixith txihich the tumblers ©/"Sadlers Wblls pefs thro' their hoops, p. 2. Pharmacopola, generally ufed by the Classic authors in a badfcnfe, and a Iv.- ays to he found in bad compa- ny, p. 107. Plutarch regulated all his bufinefs by his Dreams./. 14. Poet. Poeta natus, a proverbial faying, p. 12. Haw a Poet may be made in ont night, p. 13. PorCus, a dtfcrterfromtheYKV'LhXiiK'&i. Heaiily armed ntjith brafs. Taken prif oner. One of the chief authors of the prefnt nuar. Innjented the fink-pots, and made /^^Onocentaurs fvery expert in the exercife of cafing dirt and ordure at their enemies, p. 1 20. Prc- frnts a memorial to the general of the Onocex- taurs. p. 121. Put into an iron cage, and hung under the grate of a common fixer . Jfternxards cafi ' Vit6 the river, and compared ta Falstaff in the buck imket. INDEX. xlx lasket. p. 122. One of the parafttes o/"CoRNix, and given for a colleague toYzsvh. p. 126. PowEL, a puppet-majier, fourijhed in the reign ^QuEEN Anne. /. 177. P— — — s, rxrho create minijierial ejlata, out of the re- fvenues of the C ■ ■ not to be ranked in the daft ^Men. /. 227. Priests, luho belong to the temple of "iHtViCVLZS. Are en- joined to attend daily on him, and to take great care of his perfon, fo that he may be al . 6 5 . Hcve renounced their independency , and are fubfcr- wient to the luTENOAtiTs of theMitt. p. 66. Tram- ple on the Crofs, the badge of their order. Compared to the Dutch Sailors, luho are admitted into Japan. p. 66. Their cruel ufage of their poor Brethren, p. 6"]. Their crafty manner of raifing contributions, p. 6j. A Grave digger elciied into this honourable Brotherhood. His cant — His avarice — His kypocri" sy — His phyfognomy. p. 6S. Rosicrucians, 'u.-^fff /^f/r Grand EtlXi^ failed, imported the vjater of OsLivioli from the river Lethb. p. 6g. The good and bad qualities of this voatcr. p. 6g, JO. Somt ef this order Jly led in the Regifer of their College, Ho- mines Plumbei. p. 70, To vohat their Plumbei- TiE is to be afcribed. p. 71. None of the order Kiiights of Chivalry, except the Grand Master. /. 72. A R031CRUCIAN, «,far St. Paul's, hath difcovered the land of /^(? Papyrofolites to he an yiand in G/:eof]vvir£K's moons. Has made a map qf this fccandary planet. His means of correfponding 'ixith xxii INDEX. tijcith the inhabitants of it. p. 235. Accufes the author of thefe Memoi-rs of halving deli'-jered an unjuji charaSer of the Rosicrucians. />. 236. ^he -vices found in their college not to be imputed tt them. p. 237. The reafon, nvhy they hafve fe'UJ ^virtues, and little learning, p. 238. Ruins. Magnifcent ruins of the Temple o/" Liberty, in the Square inhabited by the priefs and minijiers of Hercules, p. 219. Employed in the building of a fpacious banqueting Houfe, luhere the Fefivals of Hercules are to he celebrated, p. 220, 221. SA L U S, or the Goddefs of Health, niuorjhipped by //'^Romans, p. 91. 5f^ Temple o/^Health. Satin Sages fprinkk perfumed ijcater on the Band cf FOUR. Hundred, and deprive them of their memory. p. 42, 43. Drive them, as a fiepherd drives his Jkeepan ^P^'Li%'BVKY plain, p. 4^. Style themfelvej the DuuviviRATE, cr Intendants. Are called, by the common people. White hats. /. 46. The luater, ivhich they perfume, andfo liberally dijlribute^ is furnijhid by the RosiCRUClANS from LethE. For vohat purpofe it ivas firfi imported. /. 48. Thsfe % hGt% fufpiSled by the author, to be two of the INDEX xxiii Arch-priests, or Lieutenants t/ Hercules f. 1 60. S Thomas, made a priejl by the fume majier., 'which tnade Persius (as he prete7ided to difguife his qua- lity) a foet. p. no. ScANARELLE drubbed ivtothepraBiceofphyJicy and Doc- torated in fpite of his teeth, p. log. Solomon. His memory nuould have been highly re'verenced, if he had died before he doated, and fell itito idolatry, /• 95- SJOMNIUM SciPlONis not inferior to the mojl celebrated of Cicero's other ivorh. p. 9. Speech, by one of the Arch-priests o/'Hercules, ad- dreffedtothe congregation, ijuhich ivas afftmbled in the temple of that God. p. 162. Struldbrugs. The Rosicrucian Elixir oui cf 'voguet fince the publication of Swift's hiflory of the Struldbrugs. p. 69, Swift, his njcrfes in anfiuer to an epigram ^written by Mr' L— — y, ivhoivas then an eminent pleader at, the bar in Dublin. /. 81, to 89. Synods xxiv INDEX. Stkods of the priejis of Hercules. Their decreet 'vep'y opprrjji've and fangui nary. They re'vive the barbarous rites of the Druids, and facrifice their fello'W' citixens on the altars of their God. p. 1 69, 17O. Sylphs and Gnomes, little fpirits fubfervient to the Rosier. uciANs, and employed by them, as their cabi- net couriers, p. 235. The excellent qualities of theft mejfetjgers. p. 236. T ' ■ ^ , a mah'vo'ent parfon in the neighbourhood o/'Bath. Rides once a n.'.cek to that city on pur' pofe to defame fome 'worthy man of his oivn party, p. 194. Temple cf Health. The defcription of it, and its beau- tiful fetuation. p. 92. The cifvility cfthe tiAJO pricfs belonging to the Temple. Their great age andforid complexions. Had mnifred to the Goddess four- f core years, p. 93. The altar a plain mahcgany tabic. Four porceLiin fagotis placed on it, filed Hvith tvater fr^in the fountain of ¥ii.M.TH. p. 93. The Infcripti'jn oiier the altar, called the Golden Clu!ax. p. 94. Another Infriptim at the I'cijl end of the Ttrnpk in large lUik chtira^ers. p. 99. 'J ' s M ? I E INDEX. xxt Temple of Hrcules. A Gothic hulldlng. Has an ah of grandeur nxjithout avy ntagnifcence. p. 157. See Hercules. Temple 0/" Physic. Adefcriptionofit. Surrounded hy an hundred cff.ces ofthofe, . 42. Worn by the Governor £/*Bath. /. 46. WiDENOSTRiLS, a Giant in Rabelais, fixxallo'wcd nvinJ- mills, and devoured all the iron and brcfs pots and pans itt the land. Was choaked by a lump of frejh butter prefcribed by his phyjicians, p. 176, 177. Wit, a bauble, only ft to make idle people laugh. Ofnoufe in explaining the merits of a cavfe. Never fuffered to go out of the mouth of an eminent Iwvcyer, or to drop from his pen. A commodity of little valuer if it be unaccompanied luithT^.MTV., p. 29. Writer o/'/Z'f/^ Memoirs, or the Dreamer. The reafons