VV.\. 74 LIBRARY OF THE THEOLOGICAL SEMINARY PRINCETON, N. J. HN OM Ch v.b4 ; Conference on Christian politics, economics and The relation of the sexes i] C.0.P.E.C. Commission Reports. Volume IV THE RELATION OF THE SEXES REPORTS VotumMEI. THe Nature or Gop AnD His PurRPOSE FOR THE WoRLD C.O.P.E.C. COMMISSION » iI. Epucation » II. Tue Home 5» LV. THe RELATION oF THE SEXES » ¥. Letsure » WI. Tue TREATMENT oF CRIME » WII. Inrernationat Reiations » VIII. Curistianiry AND War » IX. Inpustry anp Property » & Poxirics AND CITIZENSHIP 5» Xl. Tue Socitat Function oF THE CHURCH » XII. Huisrortcat ILLustrations OF THE SocriAL EFFEcTs oF CHRISTIANITY First published. ; . April 1924 Second impression , . July 1924 THE RELATION OF THE SEXES Being the Report presented to the Conference on Christian Politics, Economics and Citizenship at Birmingham, April 5-12, 1924 Published forv the Conference Committee by LONGMANS, GREEN AND CO. 39 PATERNOSTER ROW, LONDON, E.C. 4 NEW YORK, TORONTY BOMBAY, CALCUTTA, AND MADRAS 1924 BASIS Tue basis of this Conference is the conviction that the Christian faith, rightly interpreted and consistently followed, gives the vision and the power essential for solving the problems of to-day, that the social ethics of Christianity have been greatly neglected by Christians with disastrous consequences to the individual and to society, and that it is of the first importance that these should be given a clearer and more persistent emphasis. In the teaching and work of Jesus Christ there are certain fundamental principles—such as the universal Fatherhood of God with its corollary that mankind is God’s family, and the law “ that whoso loseth his life, findeth it”—which, if accepted, not only condemn much in the present organisation of society, but show the way of regeneration. Christi- anity has proved itself to possess also a motive power for the transformation of the individual, without which no change of policy or method can succeed. In the light of its principles the constitution of society, the conduct of industry, the upbringing of children, national and international politics, the personal relations of men and women, in fact all human relationships, must be tested. It is hoped that through this Conference the Church may win a fuller understanding of its Gospel, and hearing a clear call to practical action may find courage to obey. GENERAL PREFACE Tue present volume forms one of the series of Reports drawn up for submission to the Conference on Christian Politics, Economics and Citizenship, held in Birmingham in April 1924. In recent years Christians of all denominations have recognised with increasing conviction that the commission to ‘“‘go and teach all nations” involved a double task. Alongside of the work of individual conversion and simultaneously with it an effort must be made to Christianise the corporate life of mankind in all its activities. Recent de- velopments since the industrial revolution, the vast increase of population, the growth of cities, the creation of mass production, the specialisation of effort, and the consequent interdependence of individuals upon each other, have given new sig- nificance to the truth that we are members one of another. ‘The existence of a system and of methods unsatisfying, if not antagonistic to Christian life, constitutes a challenge to the Church. The work of a number of pioneers during the past century has prepared the way for the attempt to examine and test our social life in the light of the principles revealed in Jesus Christ, and to visualise the require- ments of a Christian civilisation. Hitherto such attempts have generally been confined to one or two aspects of citizenship; and, great as has been Vj GENERAL PREFACE their value, they have plainly shown the defects of sectional siudy. We cannot Christianise life in compartments: to reform industry involves the reform of education, of the home life, of politics and of international affairs. What is needed is not a number of isolated and often inconsistent plans appropriate only to a single department of human activity, but an ideal of corporate life constructed on consistent principles and capable of being applied to and fulfilled in every sphere. The present series of Reports is a first step in - this direction. Each has been drawn up by a Commission representative of the various denomina- tions of British Christians, and containing not only. thinkers and students, but men and women of large and differing practical experience. Our endeavour has been both to secure the characteristic contri- butions of each Christian communion so as to gain a vision of the Kingdom of God worthy of our common faith, and also to study the application of the gospel to actual existing conditions—to keep our principles broad and clear and to avoid the danger of Utopianism. We should be the last to claim any large or general measure of success. ‘The task is full of difficulty: often the difficulties have seemed insurmountable. But as it has proceeded we have discovered an unexpected agreement, and a sense of fellowship so strong as to make fundamental divergences, where they appeared, matters not for dispute but for frank and sympathetic discussion. Our Reports will not be in any sense a final solution of the problems with which they are concerned. They represent, we Vl GENERAL PREFACE believe, an honest effort to see our corporate life steadily and whole from the standpoint of Christi- anity; and as such may help to bring to many a clearer and more consistent understanding of that Kingdom for which the Church longs and labours and prays. However inadequate our Reports may appear— and in view of the magnitude of the issues under discussion and the infinite grandeur of the Christian gospel inadequacy is inevitable—we cannot be too thankful for the experience of united inquiry and study and fellowship of which they are the fruit. It should be understood that these Reports are printed as the Reports of the Commissions only, and any resolutions adopted by the Conference on the basis of these Reports will be found in The Proceedings of C.O.P.E.C., which also contains a General Index to the series of Reports. ; Ye ’ 4 "i ee ce a Soro ma ts PGs Were aan / oa LIST OF COMMISSION MEMBERS The Commission responsible for the production of this Report was constituted as follows :— Chaiyman :—PROFESSOR W. F. LOFTHOUSE. Tutor in Old Testament Languages and Literature, and in Philosophy at Handsworth Wesleyan College, Birmingham. Members of the Commission :— ALCOCK, Mrs. BARCLAY, Mrs. HuBERT. Central President of the Mother’s Union; Speaker on social and moral subjects. BARRETT; Lapy; M.D., M.S.; C.B.E. Consulting Obstetric and Gynecological Surgeon, Royal Free Hospital; Obstetric Surgeon, Mother’s Hospital, Clapton. BROWN, THE Rr. Rev. Monsicnor Provost W. F., D.D. Rector of St. Anne’s, Vauxhall; Vicar-General of the Diocese of Southwark; Auxiliary Bishop Elect; Member of the ‘Catholic Education Council of England and Wales. FORTEY, Miss Emiry C., B.Sc. Member of the Leicester City Council and Board of Guardians ; President of the Women’s Section of the Leicester Labour Party; formerly Auxiliary Y.M.C.A. Rescue Worker in France. FRASER, THE Rev. James, M.A. (CANTAB). Minister of Trinity Presbyterian Church, Kentish Town, N.W.1. GARDNER, Miss Lucy. Member of the Society of Friends. *GEIKIE-COBB, THE Rev. W. F., D.D. Rector of St. Ethelburga the Virgin, Bishopsgate. GILLETT, Mrs. Rowntree, M.D. Assistant Medical Officer, Public Health Dept., L.C.C.; Member of Society of Friends. GRAY, THE Rev. A. HERBERT, M.A., D.D. Conducting Campaigns in Universities for Studeut Christian Movement; formerly Minister of the White Memorial U.F. Church, Glasgow. ix LIST OF COMMISSION MEMBERS GRAY, A. CHARLES E., Esg., M.D., O.B.E. Temp. Major R.A.M.C.; Chairman of the Medical Advisory Sub-Committee of the Charity Organisation Society. HADFIELD, J, A., Esg., M.A., M.B., Ch.B. Lecturer in Psychology at London University; Additional Lecturer, Royal Bethlem Hospital (Post-Graduate Course) ; Lecturer at Tavistock Clinic; Late Lecturer in Psycho- therapy at Birmingham University; Author of Psychology and Morals, and Contributor to The Spirit and Immortality. HIGSON, Miss. Warden of the Josephine Butler Memorial House, Liverpool. HODSON, Mrs., F.LS. Secretary of the Eugenics Education Society; formerly (1) Medical Research Officer to Ministry of Munitions, (2) House Mistress and Head of Biology Dept., Bedales School, sometime Tutor of Lady Margaret Hall, Oxford. LACEY, THE Rev. Canon T. A., M.A. Canon of Worcester Cathedral. MORLAND, Mrs. H. J. Member of Executive of the Croydon Mothers and Infants . Welfare Association; Member of Committee of the Saffron Walden Friend’s os h retiee aero School. NEWILL, Miss HELEN. Central Organising Secretary, Archbishop’s Advisory Board for Spiritual and Moral Work. O’MALLEY, Mrs. President of Wives Fellowship. RAVEN, Tue Rev. C. E., D.D. Rector of Bletchingley; sometime Fellow and Dean of Emmanuel College, Cambridge; Author of What think ye of Christ ? Apollinarianism. SELBIE, THE REv. W. B., D.D. Principal of Mansfield College, Oxford; Ex-President of the Free Church Council. * Withdrew before the close. The Commission are indebted to him for valuable help given. a The Members of the Commission are greatly indebted to the Rev. W. F. Howard, Mrs. Ring, Dr. Godwin Baynes and Dr, Ernest Jones for valuable material contributed to the Report. They also wish to record their gratitude for the information afforded by the Reports of Study Circles on the questionnaire on The Relation of the Sexes. CONTENTS Basis. . : . ; ; ; : : iV GENERAL PREFACE . : : ; : : Vv List oF Commission MEMBERS . . ; ix FoREWwoRD . ; : : : ; ; ; I CHAPTER I SEX I. SEX AND ITs PossIBILITIEs . : : : 9 2. Tne Past History or Sex Rexations . é er ak 3. Tue PRoBLEM OF THE PRESENT . : : aware 4. Co-OPERATION BETWEEN THE SEXES : : ee La 5. Co-oPERATION AND SpeciFic PRroBLEMs OF SEX Ee Vee se) 6. Tue Dirricutrizs or TRANsITION ; : ge 2d. 7. Cuancrs 1n EpucaTIon : : : ; hae 8. THe Murua Service oF THE SEXES ; : Be CHAPTER II LOVE AND PURITY 1. Tue Tracuinc or THE New TEsTAMENT : eA 2 2. Tue Rue or CuastTiry . ; 3 ; . 51 3. Tue “Sincte STANDARD” . ; : ‘ ; 55 4. CuastTiry AND PsycHoLocy . ; ‘ ; AS Med sls 5. Epucation anp Purity : ‘ ; : + £70 x1 CONTENTS CHAPTER III THE REVOLT AGAINST THE CHRISTIAN IDEAL PAGE 1. Tue Atrack upon Cuastiry anp Monocamy he ee 2. PRosTITUTION . : : ; : 2 Ge CHAPTER IV MARRIAGE I. THe Ipzan or Marrtace ., : : , P. X23 2. Limitation oF BirtH witHtn Marrtace > 150 Divorce . : : ‘ ‘ : , 7 S462 Conclusion . . * ; : ; ; “183 Aprenpix I. History or THE Canon Law or Marrtace 199 Apprenpix II. Nutuiry or Marriace. : ; . 208 RESOLUTIONS . : : , ‘ ‘ : » /20¢ Xil FOREWORD In placing this Report before the Conference, we wish to say in a few words what is the task which we have set ourselves to discharge. We were asked to produce a document dealing with the Relation between the Sexes. The phrase suggests a breadth of territory which we could not have covered with twice the time at our disposal, and it offers problems which have taxed and will continue to tax the wisest and shrewdest among us. It was necessary for us, therefore, to decide the limits within which our work was to be done, if it was to be done at all. We decided in the first SSR: that there were certain things which we were not called upon to do. We had not to cover ground which had been already covered. We had not to collect information about sex, its physiology or psychology, which can readily be gained from books already in existence. We had not to deal with the history of the insti- tution of marriage, with the development of the laws that cover the relation of the sexes to one another inside or outside marriage, to consider the economic or industrial position of women in relation to men, or what may be called the metaphysics and B I RELATION OF THE SEXES philosophy of love. On all these subjects an abundant and accessible literature already exists. The task we had to discharge was more limited, but perhaps more formidable—to state the Christian view of the relations of men and women to one another in the world to-day. ‘This involves three separate though allied considerations: first, what is to bé expected, in the relations between the sexes, of men and women who desire to fashion their attitude and their conduct by what can be known of the will of Christ; secondly, what answers should be given to those questions which, with regard to the relations between the sexes, are per- plexing Christian people to-day; and thirdly, what should be the attitude of Christian people to practices connected with these relations which, though confessedly not Christian, are widely tolerated in society to-day. It follows from this line of approach to our subject that what we have written may seem to some of our readers too idealistic to be immedi- ately practicable. In a world which has indeed felt the influence of Christianity, but which is far from regulating its practice by any thought of the Christian spirit, this is inevitable. But we believe that it is in reality the most practical course to take. Religion has never gained anything by allowing its standards to approach the respectable but non-religious life around it. If society is to be influenced by the truth of Christianity, it will be influenced by presenting the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. We have not asked, ‘‘ How much will the average man stand or 2 FOREWORD accept?’ We have asked, ‘“‘ What is the purpose of God for the men and women whom He has created? ” On the other hand, it is not enough to state the ideal. We have to point out the steps by which we believe it can be reached, and the .means by which existing evils can be brought to an end. This we have endeavoured to do. If it should be urged that these means also are heroic, we can only reply that we do not consider this to be a damaging criticism. To some, again, our attitude may seem at times to be not severe enough. ‘This is because we have not felt it our duty simply to recommend con- ventional rules, however venerable and austere. We have considered our subject in the light of the freedom and the reasonableness and the gentleness of the Gospel, and we have been anxious to impose no burden where, to our mind, Christ would have laid none. : Our subject divides itself under three main head- ings: first, the part that sex and the general differ- ences between the sexes ought to play in our modern society ; secondly, the true meaning of love between men and women and the Christian conception of purity; and, thirdly, what is involved in the Christian teaching on marriage. Certain separate and important, though sub- sidiary, questions we have treated under one or other of these main headings: the relation of modern psychological investigations to the Christian conception of purity; the education of the young in matters of sex; the modern revolt against the 3 RELATION OF THE SEXES teaching of chastity; the treatment of the grave problems of prostitution; the right attitude to what is known as birth control, and to divorce. It will be clear to our readers, as they proceed, that on several of these subjects the Commission is seriously divided. We do not believe that any representative body of Christian people could have been assembled which, in its consideration of them, would not have been seriously divided. We have made a point of stating, as fairly as possible, the grounds on which divergent views are held. We had to consider the possibility of issuing “‘ majority ”’ and “‘ minority” reports. But, in the first place, we were not divided, as a Commission, into two clearly marked groups. ‘Those who were strongly opposed on one subject were united on others. And, in the second, we felt it far more satisfactory that we should, as a united Commission, recognise these differing views, the grounds on which they were supported, and the strength and conviction with which they were held, than that we should ask some of our number to produce what would inevitably have become a piece of propaganda. At the same time, it has filled us with joy and hope, and, it must be confessed, with some surprise, to discover in the course of our discussions the extent of our agreement. And it is to the state- ments on which we agree that we have advisedly given most prominence. We have sought for no — harmonising formulas. No one has sacrificed some of his convictions in order to secure the statement of others. And no single member must be considered responsible for every statement in this document. 4 FOREWORD But we have been drawn together as our delibera- tions have proceeded; and as a result of these deliberations a body of common convictions has been produced to which, at the beginning of our work together, few if any of our number would have given such expression as 1s found in the following pages. We desire especially to recommend to our readers the general and comprehensive statements which will be found in the main sections on Love and purity, and on Marriage. We cannot claim to have produced a statement that is final or exhaustive. Nor do we expect that all our readers will agree with everything that we have said. But when disagreement is felt, we would ask our readers to note whether they are disagreeing with points on which the Commission itself is expressing divergent views, or on points on which the members of the Commission are at one; and we believe that, by the definite convictions which we have been able to express with unanimity, and the frank recognition of differences at present un- reconciled, we are preparing the way for a fuller revelation of the Spirit whose function it is to guide the Church into all Truth. CHARTER GE SEX CHAPTER I SEX I. SEX AND ITS PossIBILITIES THE very nature of the interest which this subject universally excites is itself eloquent testimony to the fact that as a race we have not yet attained success in our handling of the fact of sex. It has thrilled, excited, fascinated, and rejoiced each generation in turn. It has also perplexed, annoyed, irritated and defeated nation after nation. Law has tried to control it and has always failed. Social customs have done a little better, but have not really mastered the forces involved. Religion, though it has had glimpses of the ultimate and beautiful truth about sex, has never yet been able to bring any society under the power of that truth. Sex has constituted the unsolved problem of every civilisation. It has probably had much to do with the decay of many of them. It has been the inspiration of much of the purest happiness, the most heroic achievement, and the most triumphant creative work in the world. It has also been related to the most acute agonies, and the most pitiful degradations which men and women have suffered. Radiant hours of almost 9 RELATION OF ‘THE SEXES . unbearable joy have been among its creations, but so also have_indescribable torments of shame, re- morse and thwarted development. Some it has led to quiet, lifelong, profound and noble happiness within true homes. But others it has condemned to bitter years of vain regret, nervous strain and acute emotional suffering. As we stand before it to-day we may claim to have some knowledge of the divine possibilities involved in it. But we cannot claim to have dis- covered the methods of education, social organ- isation and legal enactment which will bring those possibilities within the reach of the great majority. We are in advance of our fathers chiefly because we have largely escaped from false shame, and are > at last facing the actual facts with determined minds. But we can claim little progress as yet towards a society based on a triumphant handling of the sex factor in life. The problems dealt with in the succeeding sec- tions of this Report are no doubt the problems of central importance. But to begin with it is worth while to consider whether the question of the relation of the sexes in general has not a very im- portant bearing on all the more specialised problems. We tend to hurry on to think of sexual attraction between individuals—of the control of desire—of the conduct of marriage and so on—of the problems which, in short, arise from the relation of one man to one woman. But it may be that we ought first of all to think more carefully about the relations of the sexes in general out of which specialised relations spring. It may be that the right handling of the 10 SEX sex factor in general will prove a necessary pre- liminary to the right handling of the sexual factor in particular. It may be that we have failed to solve the problems of love and marriage because we have thought of the whole problem too exclusively in terms of love and of marriage. 2. Tue Past History or Sex RELATIONS Let us look in a general way at the past. It is possible that a detached observer of our humanity in some past century would have come to the con- clusion that this earth is inhabited by two separate races, living for the most part in detachment, rushing passionately together at times for special purposes, only to separate again for the conduct of ordinary life. ‘I’o these races separate functions were assigned. ‘Io men were entrusted fighting, hunt- ing, building, agriculture and the tending of cattle ; and, later on, mining, engineering, navigation, the heavy crafts, finance and government. ‘To women were assigned home-making, cooking, cleaning, the bearing and training of children, spinning, weaving and the domestic arts. Both groups were con- stantly and arduously employed, but they worked in almost complete separation, and they preferred to have it so. Even in their pleasures they re- mained apart. Men gave themselves to field sports, athletic contests and drinking bouts, and in them preferred to be without their women. Even re- ligion did not bring the two races together. High matters of the soul were held to be man’s affairs, and he who would be holy was warned not to let II RELATION OF THE SEXES his thoughts dwell too long on women—not even on the women of his household. The fact has often been commented on that this arrangement reduced woman to a status of practical slavery. In return for bed and board, a woman was expected to render her person to her husband when desired, and at all times to give her toil. Liberty for her was impossible. Her choice lay between being a despised and dependent dweller in her father’s house, or an enslaved and equally dependent one ina husband’s. Nor were the moral essentials of the situation changed when the wife became a pampered pet—when her husband sur- rounded her with luxuries, and bought servants for her. She still remained apart from his real life— waiting to be the companion of his leisure hours, and mistress only of 4is household, which was her world. ‘That has often been remarked. But it may turn out more important still to realise that this separation of the sexes made it in- evitable that very often man’s thoughts of woman should be nearly all definitely sexual. She was not a companion. She was not a fellow-worker. She was not realised as a being with a mind, interesting talents and rich gifts of personality. She was thought of as a servant or convenience in the business of life, and as a source of pleasure in idle hours—as someone to make love to, to dally with, to enjoy sexually. At its best this meant that men and women met only in the romantic parts of life. At its worst, it sometimes meant that they only met on animal levels. Is it not at least possible that all our failures 12 SEX over the sexual side of life have been related to this general maladjustment of the relation of the sexes, and that therefore progress must involve a general and far-reaching readjustment of the relations of men and women within the social life in all its departments? This plan of separation between the sexes served well enough for purely warlike races, and during periods dominated by the expectation and experi- ence of war. It endured clumsily through the Middle Ages. The emergence of new conceptions of justice and destiny set it groaning and creaking through the Victorian age. To-day it has been finally and utterly rejected. Its day is done. But what is to follow it? Beyond question what brought that period of history to an end was the belated but invincible determination of women no longer to accept the role assigned to them. ‘They must have known for centuries that it was not only as wives and mothers that they could contribute to the life of the world. They must have been aware of countless other powers in their being. But it was only yesterday that they successfully demanded full freedom to exercise and enlarge these powers. ‘They have now burst open the doors of practically all the rooms in mankind’s house of life, and have committed themselves to the splendid if enormous task of working out a new way of life, not only for them- selves, but for the race. There is also, however, another element in the situation which is not yet generally recognised, and that is the recognition by many men of the fact 13 RELATION OF THE SEXES that the old rejected way of life was not man’s true life either, and did not bring to them all that the interplay of the sexes is capable of producing. No doubt there are thousands of men who are still content to live the purely masculine life for the most part, coming home at times to be petted, and occasionally to pet—men like Pepys, who, after talking for an hour on the roof with his wife, writes that he was much pleased to find “‘ how prettily she can prattle.” But such men are already to-day old fogeys, whatever their age. They belong to the past. What men and women alike are reaching out after is co-operation—companionship in the work of the world. The feminist movement did not really mean that women wanted to dominate the > whole of life. It was not really a man-hating move- ment. The hysterical women in it who had been embittered to the point of violent sex-antagonism were the unhappy and exceptional products of deep- rooted abuses. But they were not characteristic of the movement as a whole. The true meaning of that movement was that women believed it to be their destiny to make their own peculiar contri- bution to the life of mankind which, when com- bined with man’s contribution, would usher in a higher life for the race. And that is where we stand to-day. The old order in general sex relation is gone, and we live amidst the first experimental efforts to establish another. 3. [Tue ProspLem oF THE PRESENT Let us envisage the essence of the problem. We are well on the way to get rid of the differentiations 14 SEX between the sexes which were due merely to con- vention and education. But just because of that, we are for the first time approaching a position in which we may at last discover what are the inevit- able and permanent differences between the sexes due to physiological and psychological factors. Till we have much more accurate knowledge on that point, we cannot possibly assign their respec- tive functions to men and women in society. And we have not much knowledge about it as yet. Women themselves differ profoundly about it. There is the view that, apart from one special biological function which can only be exercised occasionally, and need not be exercised at all, men and women are in all respects similar and equal. The question of equality does not seem to us worth discussing. If women are meant to be like men, then they have so far been hopeless failures, and are pitifully inferior. But if they are meant to be different, then their differences may constitute their essential glory, and the attempt to weigh one sex against the other is a foolish employment. The really interesting and important question is this question of “‘ alikeness.”” If men and women are alike, then, when we have passed in together to the great workshops of the world, the fact of sex may be ignored, and the assignment of tasks will be a matter to be decided on purely individual char- acteristics. If women are like men, then one and the same system of education will do equally well for both sexes. If women are like men, then we can expect no new and specially valuable results from their advent into the working world. There 15 RELATION OF THE SEXES will be more bees at work, so to speak, but no new quality of honey. And this view is widely held. Itis a disappointing view. It greatly lessens one’s anticipations regarding the coming era of history. If Westminster in the future is going to be just like Westminster in the past, with the sole differ- ence that some of the members will wear skirts, then one great door of hope is slammed in our faces, and we shall wonder why women ever decided to subject themselves to the slavery of that laborious institution. If women doctors are going to be just like men doctors, then they may indeed enjoy their calling, and do very fine work, but a suffering public will be greatly disappointed. For we had hoped that in view of certain particular needs and stresses in life, women would prove themselves specially sensitive in understanding, and fertile in resource. Another view of the matter, however, is at least possible. It is the view that throughout the whole range of personality, men and women are definitely, if also subtly, different—that, quite apart from the exercise of her productive powers, a woman is differently constituted muscularly, nervously, men- tally and spiritually, and that therefore her contri- bution to life has a quality and a flavour all its own. This will not mean, as was once assumed, that women cannot and should not enter on the fields of activity formerly reserved for men, but it does mean that, having arrived there, they will make a distinctive contribution, and that from the co- operation of men and women in such activities a 16 SEX finer result will issue and a happier life for all will be engendered. It may be dogmatically asserted that this has been proved to be true where men and women are thinking about practical human issues. When such thought is made a matter of co-operation between the sexes both sides are conscious of gain. It appears that the masculine manner of thought is peculiarly stimulating to women, while men find that the piercing instinct of women for special points of truth is wonderfully corrective and enriching. It may surely be hoped that in the matter of constructive legislation a similar result will follow. There are issues which men perpetually tend to forget, but which women will refuse to neglect; and when Government has been moulded by their influence we may expect a finer and more construc- tive type of statesmanship. 4. CO-OPERATION BETWEEN THE SEXES We know little as yet of what women can do and are going to do as teachers of religious truth, or as preachers of the prophetic type. But such experience as we already have makes it plain that to this department of life’s work women bring their own peculiar contribution. Even when women preachers display a power of thought such as has hitherto been rather arrogantly called masculine, they add to it a capacity for noble and true emotion which is the real secret of their power. Certain subtle factors rooted in the fact of sex are found to fe we RELATION OF THE SEXES be of great value in helping to impress hearers. And instead_of suspecting the validity of the results thus produced, we might do well to recognise in them a fresh revelation of the value of the sex element in life. And so it may well prove in field after field of human endeavour. Women will bring to each their own peculiar contribution, and by the co-operation of the two sexes results will be produced which will greatly hasten human progress. It does not really affect the truth of these con- tentions to recognise the fact that there are men with many feminine traits of mind and heart, and women who, in many respects, approximate to the masculine type. No doubt that is true, but it does not touch the main issue. We are talking of men- and women in general. Feminine men and mascu- line women constitute, after all, only a negligible minority. To return then to our main contention—what is actually coming into sight is a new relationship between men and women, a relationship of co- operation in the majority of life’s normal activities, into which the specialised biological factors of sex will not enter, but which will none the less be a sex relationship—something different from the relation of men to men, or women to women, and possessing its own distinctive value and charm. Probably. a world is coming to birth in which the two sexes will be perhaps at school together, and certainly at college together—in Parliament to- gether, in local government, in industry, in law, in medicine, in the Civil Services, in banking and in- 18 SEX surance, in general business, in teaching, and in the service of the Church. The co-operation will not be universal. Certain departments of life must probably remain the province of men alone, and certain others of women alone. But the regions of co-operation will be far more numerous and far more significant than the regions of separation. Probably the psychological reactions of this co-operation on men and women alike will profoundly modify the whole of human life, and give a new setting to the specialised prob- lems of sex. When the transition has been carried through, it may be found that something far more significant for the race has happened than either the Reformation or the discovery of America. The incredulity with which this suggestion will be received is due to the fact that only a com- paratively small number of people have had any real experience of the possibilities of this co-opera- tion. The man who has always worked with men, and who has only known women in hours of social relaxation, does’ not know women. He knows woman as a centre of social charm and the embodi- ment of sexual allurements, but he does not know her as the incarnation of fine qualities of judgment, executive ability and practical wisdom. The women, and their name is legion, who only know men in moods of recreation when they want to play do not know men. They know what greedy lovers they can be, and how witty or adroit or silly they can be, but they do not know what are their real qualities as actors in life’s other departments. But when men and women do make the discoveries suggested, a, RELATION OF THE SEXES the experience is of the greatest value. The new relationship. based on fuller knowledge is found to be far more stimulating and enriching than the other—far more consistent with respect and self- respect, and in the long run far happier. Those who have been fortunate enough to work on good mixed committees, or in offices where trained men and women co-operate, or who have carried on executive work in co-operation with members of the opposite sex, will confirm what has been said. And this co-operation does bring into. working hours a definite element of sex charm. It is not sexual charm, unless the meaning of words is strained, but it does spring from the different psychological endowment of men and women, and it adds new interest and colour to workaday life. 5. Co-OPERATION AND SPECIFIC PRoBLEMs OF SEX We believe it is possible to indicate very definite results which this transformation of life will have in relation to the specialised problems of sex. (a) It will greatly lessen the strain of conscious sexual desire for unmarried men and women. There are two causes which at present greatly intensify that strain. One is living exclusively with members of one’s own sex. During the war many men, restricted for the first time in life to — purely masculine society, were amazed and dis- tressed to find how acute conscious sexual desire can become. Women have had similar experiences when restricted to purely feminine society. The other is the habit of ‘‘ philandering,” or 20 SEX in other words indulging in minor familiarities and endearments with members of the opposite sex. The fact about such things is that according to nature’s plan they are the instinctive preliminaries to sexual intercourse, and those who indulge in them on the understanding that they will go thus far and no farther, inevitably subject themselves to a most unnatural strain. But these facts plainly indicate the third way of life, which is for those who are not married the only way of health and happiness. It is the way of fellowship with the opposite sex in the non-sexual interests of life—in work and service—in intellectual, artistic and domestic matters—in athletics, and such out-of-door activities as are really suitable for both sexes. [he men and the women who are found complaining that in them the urge of sexual desire is almost uncontrollable are nearly always people who are not enjoying any happy and bracing fellow- ship with members of the opposite sex. But when such fellowship is a regular feature of the day’s work, the personal and private problems of sex do really admit of a comparatively easy solution. Those objectionable moralists who, suffering them- selves from mental sex perversion, are fond of advising young men to shun all ‘ going with girls,” have just this minimum of justification, that “ going with girls” does still in many cases mean only frivolous and foolish trifling. But friendly fellow- ship with women may mean one of the most in- teresting, stimulating and saving things in life for normal and virile men, while friendship with men may have similar values for women. 21 RELATION OF THE SEXES (b) Nor is it only for the unmarried that such fellowships _have value. The idea that perfect married love either need or should exclude other friendships from the lives of either husbands or wives has had deplorable results. Husbands and wives, who, though still truly in love, yet find each other dull at times, might discover a new zest in life if either or both of them came home at times stimulated and refreshed by contact with other men and women possessing different vital interests. A woman’s husband is not capable of supplying her with all the male society she should have, however loyally he continues to love and be loved. A wife may be all that an ideal wife should be, but if her husband meets no other women he will miss the very stimulations and contradictions which might make him a bigger, humbler and more interesting person to live with. In other words, marriage itself will be fuller and finer if for both husband and wife it has a background of interesting friendships with members of the opposite sex. (c) Further, the transformation of life which we have indicated would provide the conditions out of which truer and happier marriages might spring. British social life is still such that many a man finds it impossible to get to know any one woman well without so behaving that he is suspected of ‘having intentions.” Just because in the major part of his life he does not meet women, he must seek their society by attending social functions of various sorts, and while he is trying to get to know some girl, he is already supposed to have made up his mind about her. Thousands of engagements 22 SEX have probably been arranged in this way between persons who did not really begin to know each other till they were engaged. And then marriage often takes place in spite of a cloud of misgivings, since it is held a very serious if not a culpable matter to break an engagement. Further, meeting someone else in society, which is an artificial thing, is far from the best way in which to get to know either a man or a woman. ‘The self that only awakens at the touch of love is no doubt a very real self. But the self that is active during workaday hours is also very real, and that self is often entirely con- cealed in hours of social intercourse. A man is often one sort of being at business and quite another sort at dances. A woman is one sort of being under the stimulus of social festivities, and sometimes quite a different person during working hours, or when enduring the tests of the domestic sphere. But marriage is really a lottery, unless it is based on a knowledge of the truth. Slowly but surely we are beginning to realise that marriage based on sexual attraction alone is a very risky thing. With sexual attraction must be combined real friendship based on knowledge and appreciation of the actual qualities of the friend. And therefore circumstances which make knowledge of these real qualities a possibility are of the greatest social importance. There is already a good deal of experience which confirms these contentions. Marriages which have sprung from friendships between students at co- educational universities are, many of them, among the happiest and the most truly successful in the modern world. Men and women who have begun 23 RELATION OF THE SEXES acquaintanceship as fellow-workers for societies or institutions have often become firm friends long before conscious love awakened, and some of the marriages which have thus come into being almost deserve the epithet ideal. It cannot be too often or too strongly said to the young, “ Be sure you get to know—really know—each other before you marry.’ But we must all help to produce the conditions which make real knowledge possible. 6. Tue DirFicuuties oF TRANSITION It will no doubt be said that both difficulties and dangers must attend the sort of transition we are pleading for. And that is undeniable. The tran- sition is already in progress, and the dangers and difficulties are with us already. To begin with, it is said that if young men and women are thrown together in the intimacies of daily work, they will be distracted by each other’s presence, and will mix flirtation with work, and go on imagining themselves in love over and over again. ‘The last of these calamities has been known to happen in all ages. Yet no doubt there is force in the contention. Such things will happen at first, especially with young men and women brought up in segregation. But these things will not happen when boys and girls are so educated as to attain freedom from undue sex consciousness, and thus become accustomed to each other during their teens. And even with boys and girls educated as at present, it is remarkable how quickly the phase of distraction passes. As soon as they become 24 SEX interested and absorbed in their actual work, they lose unnatural sex consciousness and begin to think of each other as fellow-workers. When a few sensible older people establish the right atmosphere, the young very quickly accommodate themselves to it. Mistakes, difficulties and annoyances there must be during periods of transition, but if the way be worth following, the difficulties will in time be overcome. _ A graver but no less justified reflection is that if the members of both sexes be intimately thrown together in daily work, in study and in play, the cases may multiply in which young men and women will be carried away by excitement and romantic imaginings, and will in their folly make sexual mistakes of varying degrees of seriousness. But let us face the plain facts. During the period which is just beginning to pass, young men living and working in circumstances which provided no simple and easy way of enjoying the society of the other sex did not live monkish lives. ‘They sought the society of women with easy morals. ‘To-day men are more and more attempting to restrict them- selves to the society of those whom they consider their social equals, while many girls are consciously endeavouring to hold them back from undesirable society by giving them a franker and a fuller friend- ship. And thus tragedies may happen. But are .these as sad as the daily occurrences in a society that condones prostitution ? If we are to leave the era of prostitution behind, is it not inevitable that we should pass through a period of some measure, even if only a slight 25 RELATION OF THE SEXES measure, of loose conduct between the sexes? And if we really understand it, shall we not say that, even during this period, we are moving forward? We shall indeed have to learn to forgive sinners. Men will have to learn to forgive what are called “slips? in a woman’s life just as they have all along condoned them in their own lives. Harder still, women will have to learn to forgive women, and so prevent the unmeasured injustice of passing life sentences on girls who trip on life’s threshold. Such forgiveness will not encourage laxity. For- giveness always tends to redeem, not to degrade. What we must leave behind is the hypocrisy which, in a society of sinners, visited cruel penalties on those who were simple enough to be found out. _ The real secret of progress must, however, lie in education. ‘To handle successfully the sexual element in his or her own personality, to deal victoriously with the problems of sex in general and in particular, is for any human being perhaps the most difficult and delicate task which life con- tains. It would be natural to expect that in an advanced civilisation the preparation for this task would be universally detailed, careful and sympa- thetic. As a matter of fact, education in this particular form hardly existed until lately, and is still most rudimentary, unskilled and fortuitous. Normal and healthy young men and women can and do manage their lives successfully in this respect, if they understand themselves in time, and in time know what they will have to meet in social life. To-day they know little or nothing of the sig- nificance of those sentimental flirtations which 26 SEX often lead to disaster, and so they cross the line of safety in complete innocence. But if education be the way of progress, then progress is possible, and when we care enough about the whole matter we shall learn how to provide the education. 7. CHANGES IN EpucaTIoN- What character then will this education assume? Or what changes will have to be introduced into our present systems of education to secure this progress ? Our whole contention is that society needs the contribution of women in many regions in which they have not yet been active, or, in other words, that co-operation between men and women needs to be greatly extended. But, at, the same time, each. sex has its special contribution to make; the partners, as in all true co-operation, are similar but not identical. Must the education of women, then, be assimi- lated to that of men? This has been passionately advocated ; and in many higher school and university courses it is actually being carried out. In many cases the experiment has no doubt been entirely success- ful ; women graduates with high honours now abound in this and other countries. No sane person doubts their capacity to follow successfully, if they choose, the same lines of study as men. But a certain sense of strain and discomfort has often been observed in women who have subjected themselves to this task ; and the truth may be that women can accomplish 27 RELATION OF THE SEXES the same or a greater quantity of advanced work, but that the actual subjects and manner of study will not be in all respects identical. What the subjects are which are best fitted for either sex must presumably depend on the nature of the specific contributions of which we have spoken. ‘Those contributions are as yet far from being fully understood. We often say that the special talent of the man is judgment and reason- ing; of the woman, intuition or insight. Reflecting on the history and functions of the two sexes in society, it might be safer to say that in the man have been developed powers of acquisition, com- bativeness and self-assertion; in the woman, of | creation, endurance, tenderness and foresight; or, dealing with intellectual differences, that the move- ment of man’s mind is discursive: of woman’s, penetrative. His task has been to subdue the world; hers, to maintain the home. This is not to assert that all men exhibit one set of characteristics, and all women another. Varia- tions from sexual type, common in physical forma- tion, are still commoner in character. Nor is it to assert that either sex, as a result, is morally superior. Both sets of characteristics, in different environ- ments, may rise to heroism or sainthood, and sink to brutality and intrigue. We cannot even be sure that these divergences of sex are original. ‘They may be the result of the age-long distribution of functions between the sexes. In any case they exist to-day. To neglect them would be folly. To reckon on them and take advantage of them may be the greatest wisdom. 28 SEX Education, then, which deals with young people of both sexes in the mass, must take account of them. Men and women must be trained to develop in themselves their specific capacities, and to expect to find the corresponding capacities in the opposite SEX. How is this to be done? The answer is one for educationists to discover. Probably in the higher professional teaching—always confined to the rela- tively few—it is unnecessary. But the differences between the sexes are reflected in the stages of physical growth, which are not contemporaneous for boys and girls. It is coming to be widely recognised that each sex passes through certain periods of physical strain, when intellectual labour must be relaxed; and that each sex experiences certain emotional changes, which will modify the subjects studied in school or even university. As this is understood, the work of both boys and girls may be expected to improve in quality and quantity alike. Against all this two objections are commonly urged. First, ‘“woman’s place is in the home.” There is more in this plea than is often understood, either by its supporters or its opponents. Woman is the home maker and the home maintainer. Save in exceptional circumstances, man can never per- form certain essential functions in the home which are natural to woman. But in this industrial age woman has often been driven outside the home, even by those who profess to deplore her absence from its shelter and its duties. And what she needs for her work in the home she can often best learn outside. To maintain a home (and not least for a RELATION OF THE SEXES the woman whose husband earns a small weekly wage) is a skilled occupation; and if secondary or: higher education and some sound commercial or industrial experience and responsibility are the accepted means for learning decision and alertness and ability to grasp a complicated situation and rapid and sane judgment, such means must be open to the woman as to the man. Secondly, it is often urged that the education which women need is education for motherhood. This is true, if rightly understood, for the larger number of women. For the tasks of motherhood will inevitably be the engrossing concerns of most women who are married for twenty to twenty-five years after marriage. But true education, for women as for men, should enable the individual to develop to the fullest extent his or her highest qualities, whether of brain or hand. And individuals of both sexes vary greatly: some tend towards purely intellectual pursuits; others find their interest only awakened by practical work; others, again, find their fullest development in the interaction of intellectual achievement and practical activities. The education of women must take all these variations into account. Motherhood in itself is not the goal of education. It is a sex attribute which must in many women colour with special psychic or emotional quality the work done by them in the world, both for their children and for the community as a whole. On this account, indeed, it is the more important that facilities for the full intellectual and technical train- ing of women should be given. And if the woman 30 SEX is to be educated for motherhood, surely the man should be educated for fatherhood. Moreover, motherhood must be distinguished from adaptability or skill in domestic science. Some women in whom love of children is especially marked are also fond of the technical, practical work of the home, but this is by no means the rule; and even in the case of these women, though education should fully develop and highly train their special facility in domestic work, such training should not be influenced by the idea of motherhood, but by the liking of the girl for this kind of work. Other girls with the same qualities may never desire to be mothers, and on the other hand some of the best mothers in the highest sense have absolutely no capacity at all for domestic work. The desirability of giving girls education in physiology and laws of hygiene is acknowledged by all, and also the special value of training prospective mothers in matters which concern the physiological and psychological welfare of themselves and their children. This, however, is only supplementary to the general education of women, which should develop each girl for the special work to which she will devote her life, whether in the arts or sciences, or in the various practical pursuits, amongst which doubtless domestic economy will be chosen by many. When women are asked to live exclusively on domestic joys, they frequently experience a sense of inward rebellion. But when they are offered scope and exercise for their manifold powers, and so find 31 RELATION OF THE SEXES some kind of congenial career, they fall back from time to time with great gladness on the satisfactions which home alone can supply. Perhaps, however, the case of unmarried women is in this connection the most important of all. No thinking about the relation of the sexes which fails to take account of their problem is of any real importance. It is one of the most insistent in our society to-day, and bids fair to remain so for some time. It is quite intolerable that they should be left to such a manner of life as spinsters in the past have faced. It is almost equally intolerable that they should be left to the society of other women in institutions, or businesses carried on only by women. Friendships and fellowships with men in connection with the ordinary work of the world ought to be available for them. Social contact with men of that kind might not satisfy all a woman’s instincts, but it would at least save her from “‘ old maidism,” and from the emptiness of a lonely and narrow career. As life progresses it would increasingly satisfy and enrich. For sex instinct is, as we know, a force that expresses itself in manifold ways. In some women conscious desire for physical sex expression is almost entirely absent. What they really need and want is mental and social contact with the other sex. They want to be stimulated, provoked, contradicted, annoyed and refreshed by contact with male personalities. ‘There is no reason at all why they should not have what they want and need, and they will have it when sex relations in general have been transformed. 32 SEX What we have said may suggest that we have chiefly had in view the more favoured and leisured classes. This is not the case. Nowhere is the desire and power to take part in the larger life, which is supposed to belong to the men, more needful or more beneficial than among the women of what are called “‘ the working classes.”” Nowhere are the results of its absence more disastrous. ‘The Athenian poet of the fifth century B.c. might almost have had some over-worked and under-educated mother of our own mean streets in mind when he put into his heroine’s lips the poignant words, “When a man is tired of the society of his family, he can go out and get rid of his boredom; but we women are shut up to a single person: if he treats us kindly, what bliss; but if not—better die!” The Athenian ideal, ‘‘ a wife as the mother of one’s children, a mistress as one’s friend,”’ is even yet a danger and a temptation. To overcome this and to do away with the sordid and muddled travesty of family life so sadly familiar to-day, the woman must be trained to be a comrade, when possible in practice and always in interest, to the man. When that is done she will be in a new and vital sense a wife and a mother, as the man will be in a new sense a husband and a father. 8. Tue Muruat Service OF THE SEXES We now turn to another aspect of the life of the sexes together: the special services which each sex can render to the other. ‘There are certain definite though little recognised values, social, D 33 RELATION OF THE SEXES moral and religious, which are latent in the sex force. Hooligan boys who defy all masculine attempts at control will often yield to a woman. Male patients will often recover far more quickly when under the influence of women nurses. Women patients may be strangely invigorated by the visits of male doctors. ‘The same thing has been observed with teachers and lecturers in schools and colleges, and it appears to be present in the religious minis- trations of the members of one sex to the other. This opens up a region which is still almost un-. explored. Why is it that each sex is found, as it appears, to receive certain benefits from the other? Is the reason to be found in the gulf which Nature has placed between the sexes, so that each is an object of mystery and wonder, of admiration and dread to the other, and thus can exert a special influence on the other? Answers to these questions are only beginning to be found. ‘The psychological character of this sex consciousness affords an equally perplexing problem. We have already made the distinction between “sex charm” and “ sexual’ charm.” And) the influence which we are now considering seems to be most fittingly denoted by the former phrase. The male patient or the girl student has no thought of physical intimacy with the member of the other sex. It is the fact of being a member of the opposite sex that makes the difference to him or her. But we must walk circumspectly. The influence may be most beneficial, yet it may become the reverse. Men in the company of women, and 34 SEX women in the company of men, are not simply incarnations of the mystery and appeal of the other sex: they are also individuals, and may easily arouse a consciousness which is connected with “ sexual charm” rather than “sex charm.” ‘The danger is real. But we do not say this to counsel retreat. For the services (perhaps more valuable than have been generally supposed) may be there too. By all means let us make full use of these mysterious powers of service and benefit. But to keep them serviceable we must, as the psychologists say, ‘‘ drain off’ attention from the fact of sex. ‘This will not be done by any attempts on the part of men or women to “‘unsex”’ themselves. It will be done when attention and interest are firmly fixed on some point to be gained, some success to be achieved. Save in the intimate relations of marriage, sex does its appointed work best when it can dwell in the background of consciousness. The reader will perhaps look for some discussion of the deep-seated connection between sex and religion. ‘This connection reveals itself in many ways: in the provisions in many pagan ceremonials for sexual indulgence; in the sequence of sexual desire, as has often been observed, upon outbreaks of religious emotion; in the widespread ‘‘ mystery cults” like those of Cybele (chiefly for men) and Adonis (chiefly for women). The classical reader will remember the penetrating study of this type of religion in Euripides’ Bacche. It is seen also in the ardent devotion to which Tennyson has given expression in “ St. Agnes’ Eve,”’ or which has de- voted itself to the study of the Song of Songs ; in the 35 RELATION OF THE SEXES romantic elements in the medizval worship of the Virgin, or (to take a rarer type) Dante’s rapt exalta- tion of Beatrice. This is not the worship of the “eternal feminine.” It is the attraction of one sex for the other when the emotions that we recognise as religious are powerfully aroused. To discuss this in any detail, however, is no point of our duty. If we mention the subject, it is to point out that sex may degrade religion, and has constantly done so in non-Christian faiths; and, in Christendom, religion has often in return de-. graded sex. But each may and should exalt the other. The succeeding sections of our Report are full of references to the way in which the activity of religious communities ought to elevate the sex life. And, as we think, they make clear a further point, with which we may well bring these para- graphs to a close. Recognising sex as one of the most powerful emotions of human nature, we recognise that, when that emotion is rightly trained and expressed, it leads to a joyous and complete self-surrender; that it is felt to be a Divine gift, joining the recipient by a new bond of gratitude and delight to God; that it produces a certain type of society, an intimate and unlimited partnership or sharing between husband and wife; and that when the love of man and woman passes on into the experiences of parenthood, we may reach a com- plete union between delight and duty, each being enhanced by the other and inseparable from the other. A life in which these four elements consist is very near to the centre of all true and deep religion. 36 SEX In conclusion we cannot but feel that the present situation is full of hope. Men and women §are honestly and boldly facing the real position in which they are placed. The determination is growing to understand and master this factor in life, and to discover the ways in which it may be made to produce health, enrichment of life, social progress and domestic joy. Deep in the heart of humanity lies the desire to find and follow the path of true life. And though an age of experiment must contain many failures, we feel assured that the outcome of all the present inquiry, discussion and effort must be real advance. There are no insoluble problems for a race that remains virile, honest and determined. CHAPTER II LOVE AND PURITY CHAPTER II LOVE AND PURITY Hituerto we have considered the general re- lations of the sexes to one another in human society, and the contribution which each of them is intended to make to the other and to the common life of society as a whole. We now turn to those more intimate experiences in which one man finds him- self drawn to one woman, or one woman to one man. The name of Love, given to these experi- ences and the emotions which accompany them, covers the widest varieties of meaning, from what may be considered a purely animal attraction to the most romantic and spiritual affection. We have not, as a Commission, been interested in these varieties in themselves and we have made no attempt to study them for their own sake. Believing that, in the regions which we now enter, the nature of everything is best seen in its com- pletest development, we have been chiefly interested to describe what we consider the highest type of affection. ‘This we have felt to be inseparably bound up with the Christian conception, rightly understood, of purity. In a love of this deep strength and so joined to purity, we believe that human beings receive one of God’s greatest gifts, 41 RELATION OF THE SEXES illuminating not only their own powers, but the meaning of the love of God itself. We have therefore had to set ourselves to answer the question, ‘‘ What is the value of chastity and of purity?’ In doing so we have had to consider the reasons for the common judgment that chastity can at best be required from the members, or the majority of members, of one sex only, and the bearing of recent psychological investigation upon the subject. We have laid down certain practical rules for education, more particularly in matters of sex, by which we think that chastity will come to be desired for its own sake; and we have kept to the end of the section a discussion of prosti- tution, a system which, more than any other form of ‘irregular ” union, causes the degradation of all that we understand by purity ; we have endeavoured to appreciate its strength, to account for its per- sistence, and to lay down a plan for its gradual disappearance. 1. [THe TEACHING oF THE New TEsTaMENT? To us, it is natural to begin with a brief state- ment of the teaching of the New Testament on the relations between the sexes. As the Christian Gospel was not given to the world in vacuo, it is important to consider its teaching upon social relationships in close con- nection with the background of contemporary thought and practice. Herein an obvious distinc- 1 We owe this section to the Rev. W. F. Howard, M.A., B.D. 42 LOVE AND PURITY tion must be drawn between the Jewish and Gentile worlds. It will be convenient to take the Gospels first, and then the Acts and the Epistles; for although the early chapters of Acts keep us on the soil of Palestine, they mark the transition to the wider world of Hellenism ; and it is well to observe a boundary between the example and teaching of Jesus and the attitude of the Apostolic Church. The direct references of Jesus to this subject are incidental rather than systematic. Jesus moved in a society where the family was in practice held in high honour, and where the standard of chastity expected from both women and men was far higher than in any other contemporary civilisation. What- ever may be said of Jewish facilities for divorce (and here the Gentile world could hardly afford to cast stones), the general practice of the Jews in matters of sex was far purer than that of the Gentiles. Jesus could assume all the maxims that, later, St. Paul had to defend. None the less, Judaism shared in the general Oriental conviction of the woman’s inferiority. This is made specially evident in the marriage laws, according to which only the husband could move for divorce. Significant also is the way in which the wife is often classed with child and servants. Women, slaves and children need not recite the Shema. When three or more Israelites meet at table, they must join in saying grace; but women, slaves and children do not count. ‘To this day, in the Synagogue, the very early Jewish prayer 1s offered by men: “I thank thee, God, that Thou has not created me as an unbeliever...as a 43 RELATION OF THE SEXES servant ...as a woman”; whilst the women give thanks to God for creating them according to His good pleasure. LEcclesiasticus and the Sayings of the Fathers show how commonly woman was regarded as the source of danger and temptation.1 When we come to the Gospels, we breathe an entirely different atmosphere. The whole attitude of Jesus to womanhood raises the question to another region of thought and instinctive feeling. The fourth Evangelist brings us to the heart of the subject in his tale of the well at Sychar. ‘“ And upon this came His disciples, and they marvelled that He was speaking with a woman; yet no man said, What seekest thou? or, Why speakest thou with her?” It was natural that they should feel — surprise at such a breach of convention; it is significant that reflection showed them that any other attitude to womanhood would be false to His mind and method. In considering the relations of Jesus to women, we must not assume any disregard of the practical wisdom which lay behind the sober counsels of the rabbis. Never were more searching words spoken than our Lord’s commentary upon the seventh commandment. But His example shows that the Christian way of meeting the age-long peril is not by absorption in the morbid problems of sex, or by the Oriental method of social segregation, but by a relation of frank comradeship. ‘To this simple appeal of a natural respect for woman came a two- 1 Cf. Ecclus. vii. 24; xix. 2; xiii. g-14. For Rabbinical teaching, see Bousset, Die Religion des ‘fudentums, ed. 2, pp. 400 ff. 44 LOVE AND PURITY fold response. On the one hand, those women who served Him so faithfully were free to follow Him in the company of His disciples from time to time; on the other, those who had forfeited the respect of their fellows found it easy to come to Him, and in His presence to recover their self- respect, and rediscover the dignity of womanhood. Mary of Bethany and Mary Magdalene were both naturally at home in His company. When a box of costly ointment was poured over His feet, Jesus would stand by the harlot or the hostess, defending the one from the charge of shamelessness, and the other from that of extravagance. He reduced the proprieties to their due proportions, by banishing the self-conscious and unnatural, and exalting the values of human friendship. The real significance of the story of the sisters of Bethany is the new place of woman in the Christian society. Her function is to minister not only to the body, but to the soul.} The story of the woman taken in adultery, wrongly placed as it is in our text of the Fourth Gospel, is probably an authentic piece of primitive Christian tradition. Its message to the Christian conscience is found in our Lord’s contempt for those who could bring the whole weight of their moral indignation upon the weaker partner in a double wrong. The stooping figure that writes upon the ground utters with a gesture His loathing for the lubricity that can gloat over the salacious details of a sin which has wrecked two homes and 1 The passages in the Gospels dealing with the specific questions of marriage and divorce are referred to in Chapter IV, section I. 45 RELATION OF THE SEXES poisoned two souls. Yet once again behind the apparent palliation of the sin which religious society condemns so severely lies the conviction that only the revelation of purity can destroy the lust of the flesh, and create the desire for a clean heart. One feature of the teaching of Jesus must be emphasised, in view of the later developments in the teaching and practice of the early Church. The absence of asceticism offers a striking con- trast to the Essenes amongst contemporary sects, no less than to those heretical sects who intro- duced Manichean or dualistic conceptions into the Christian community at the end of the century. Pessimism has no place in the Gospel. ‘The consti-_ tution of human nature was shaped by God, and has in it nothing unclean. Family life is held in honour, and if in heaven there is neither marrying nor giving in marriage, that is not because of any inherent evil in the institution of marriage, but because it belongs to the order and constitution of this physical world, which must give way to the immaterial relationships of the world to come. The Acts and the Epistles—When Christianity travelled from Palestine to the Gentile world it passed on to a very different moral environment. In nothing was this change more marked than in the relation between the sexes. Much of the mis- understanding of the Pauline teaching about the position of women in the Church and home is due to the failure to bear this factor in mind. In the Greek world the wife’s position was one of dull insignificance, if also of secluded propriety. The cultivated and elegant courtesan, or hetaira, was 46 LOVE AND PURITY the man’s intellectual equal, and from the time of Pericles and Aspasia the leading statesmen of Athens enjoyed such alliances without a slur upon their reputations. Her moral philosophers had no re- proach for this degradation of the sanctities of the home. The Roman tradition was far nobler, and religion had always reinforced the domestic virtues. But in actual practice the luxury which came in with the social revolution had sapped the later republic of the sturdy morality which the court poets of Augustus tried in vain to recall. Even if we allow that Juvenal indulges in the satirist’s licence to isolate and scourge the vices of the “ smart set,’ and that there were saints even in Czesar’s household, the historian cannot ignore the evidence of widespread vice and a deplorably low moral tone throughout the Roman world. It is enough to refer to the catalogue of vices in the Pauline Epistles, and the incessant emphasis laid upon personal and social purity. The early chapters of Acts show that the primitive Church carried on without a break the tradition of Jesus. From the beginning women are found amongst the leaders of the faithful and the pioneers of the Gospel. A daily meeting was held at night in the house of Mary, the mother of Mark. Promin- ence is given in Luke’s narrative to the women who responded to the Christian message, and played an honourable part in the support and spread of the Gospel. Tabitha at Joppa, Lydia at Philippi, Damaris at Athens, remind us how much the Christian mission owed also to the nameless devout women, and women of honourable estate, who 47 RELATION OF THE SEXES braved the ban of the synagogue, or the opposition of a pagan husband, to throw in their lot with an unpopular and persecuted sect. Harnack has pointed out that in the chapter of greetings which closes the Epistle to the Romans “no fewer than fifteen women are saluted, alongside of eighteen men, and all these must have rendered important service to the Church, or to the Apostle, or to both, in the shape of the work which is here noted to their credit.””. The public activities of women in the services of the Church are represented by the four daughters of Philip the Evangelist, who were prophetesses, whilst the high functions entrusted to them may be inferred by the prominent place given to Prisca, the wife of Aquila, who instructed — the learned Alexandrian Apollos more perfectly in “the way.” In spite of these indications, there are passages in some of St. Paul’s letters which seem to show that the Gentile Church departed from the attitude to women that meets us in the Gospels. Twice over, in 1 Corinthians, St. Paul discusses the question of women’s public participation in the leading of congregational worship. In xiv. 34, his counsel is, “‘ Let the women keep silence in the congre- gations; for they are not allowed to speak, but are to be in subjection, as also the law enjoins. If they wish to learn anything, let them ask their husbands at home, for it is a scandal that any woman should speak in the congregation.” Here the Apostle’s concern is evidently that scandal should be avoided in a city notorious for its vice, where modesty was the indispensable safeguard of 48 LOVE AND PURITY the good name of Christian womanhood. That this prohibition was only relative appears from an earlier passage (xi. O6f.), in which this right to pray and to prophesy is assumed to belong to the woman as well as to the man, subject to a proviso that her head is to remain veiled. Without enter- ing into that crux interpretum, “because of the angels,’ we may surely suggest that St. Paul’s method of reaching a conclusion by a rational process, and supporting that decision by exegetical ingenuities, is a legacy from the rabbinical training which he had not yet renounced. The true reason for this early Christian convention was that in the Greek world of that time the unveiled woman was the woman of easy virtue. For a while the rabbi weaves around himself a net of subtle distinctions, but at last he breaks through and regains liberty in the principle that man and woman are indispensable to each other, and both alike are of God. This is the same principle expressed so completely in the words, ‘“‘’There can be neither Jew nor Greek, there can be neither bond nor free, there can be no male and female; for ye are all one man in Christ Jesus.”” Here we can listen to the heart of the true Apostle Paul, whose voice is also that of the Gentile Church. Nothing is more striking in St. Paul’s Epistles than his unwearied warnings against sexual self- indulgence. It is clear that he regarded it as specially culpable, and that his converts were them- selves subjected to very serious temptations to this vice. In face of the widespread and flagrant sexual licence of the early Roman Empire, a Christian E 49 RELATION OF THE SEXES teacher was bound to speak with a plainness un- necessary among the Jewish communities in Palestine. But the Christian emphasis upon chastity is the outcome of two fundamental principles, the sanctity of the body as the temple of the Holy Spirit, and the royal law of love, which forbids the degradation for selfish ends of any child of God for whom Christ died. In the later letters of the New Testament the same care is shown to preserve this Christian ideal of the relation between the sexes from the taint of heathen sensuality. It is only when we come to the Apocalypse that we discover the exalta- tion of the ascetic life. But the ethics of Apocalyptic teaching are of necessity those of a foreshortened age. When the martyr fires are already blazing and the rumblings of the knell of doom are heard, happy are those who are free from all earthly ties. But the ethics of the New Testament, as a whole, are those of the Kingdom of God, which cometh not with observation, and whose end is not yet. It will be clear from the foregoing that our primary Christian documents assume rather than formulate categorically the rule of chastity, that sex intimacy is wrong unless confined to monogamous and permanent marriage. Even if all societies which profess to obey this rule have found ways of mitigating its rigour by conniving, more or less openly, either at sex Intimacy outside marriage, or at the loosening of the marriage bond, or both, these methods can find no justification in the New ‘Testament, or in the stricter Christian conscience; and we have now to inquire as to the reasons for which this view of chastity can be maintained. 50 LOVE AND PURITY 2. Tue Rube or CHASTITY This can be done most clearly (and indeed can only be properly done at all) if we go back to the protoplasmic origins of life, and trace biologically the development of the two opposed yet comple- mentary activities, which we see at their highest to be the two essential factors in love at its most spiritual level. Even in the simplest cell life, recent research has found traces of purposive activity for the preservation and reproduction of the organism. As we proceed higher and higher up the ladder of existence, we find these two activities corresponding more and more clearly to the moral attributes of mankind. And when at last we come to man, even at what appears to be his earliest age, the same process is still at work; greater and greater variety and complexity, leading always, in the sormal course of development, to the production of richer, more valuable and more spiritual manifestations of the two activities; these we must now, with the advent of consciousness, call self-realisation and self-giving or self-surrender. They must still be concurrent; to give, we must develop that which is to be given. But when we enter, as man at his highest enters, the spiritual realm, the two activities, once opposed, draw nearer and nearer together, until at last they mingle and become one. [or in love at its highest, self-surrender becomes the ultimate self-realisation, and we learn that only by losing life can we enter into it. In love so understood there is then rightly a SI RELATION OF THE SEXES place for the activity of every side of our nature— physical, moral and spiritual—in accordance with the natural order, which is God’s. And love at its highest becomes Divine, for God is Love. Where, then, love is, God is. The youth and the maid who are drawn together by physical beauty alone are subjects of love in one of its more rudimentary forms, and so far from being blamed for their mutual passion, they should be encouraged to preserve, honour and enrich it. But they should be led also to a higher conception, - in which they become aware that not self-satisfac- tion, but self-surrender, is the distinguishing mark of all that springs from love. What next needs to be emphasised is that in its true form, love, which begins as an endowment, ends as an achievement, and that it rises from its rudimentary stage as sex-attraction to the whole- hearted devotion of the one person to the other person, more or less dimly recognised as an incar- nation of that spiritual beauty which is Beauty indeed. If, however, we have gained admission for these views, it is our task to go further. We have to establish not a partial but a complete dominance of the spiritual affection over the animal craving. The desire for sexual union, that is, must be com- pletely united with the unselfishness and self- control which are demanded by the Christian rule of chastity. The physical element must be seen in its true relation to the spiritual, so that where love is absent sex-intimacy will appear at once as an intrusion of the grossest selfishness into a sphere 52 LOVE AND PURITY to which unselfishness is the first condition of admission. The basis upon which this ideal rests is a strong one. In the first place the indiscriminate satis- faction of sexual passion is opposed to the tenets of biological research. Physical union between two individuals has permanent results upon the nature of each, and therefore should itself create a per- manent relationship—a lesson enforced also by the incidence of venereal disease. But there is a further argument, of a more positive character. The physiological desires of sex, as we have noticed, are not in themselves wrong. Intimacy is perfectly natural and right; but it is wrong if it is entertained without unselfish affection. For without such affection it is the use of another human being as a means to personal gratification. Such a proceeding must always in- volve degradation to both the persons concerned. It is never right to use another person as a means instead of an end; for this destroys all that we mean by personality. If, however, the end for which another person is used is mere sensual grati- fication, the degradation is the more serious. It means the misuse of those elements in our human nature which ought to be preserved for the highest and purest functions and joys. One may take advantage of another’s skill in handicraft or house- wifery for his own purposes without doing the other any great harm: to use for purely selfish grati- fication the most precious endowments of another’s being is an affront and a desecration. But if this desecration is to be avoided, and love preserved in 53 RELATION OF THE SEXES a béautiful and noble form, it must at least ap- proximate to the ideal of the unselfish and the constant. The Christian will remember that he has, in common with many idealists but in a peculiarly definite form, another and a stronger argument for this position. ‘The body is meant to be the Temple of the Holy Spirit, that is to say, our physical life should be the embodiment of the eternal values of | beauty, truth and goodness. We cannot have the mind of Christ, His purity and vision of God, unless - soul and body are alike pure. Love is a spiritual gift. Only when it enables the lover more perfectly to realise and fulfil God’s purpose for him can the instinctive desire for sex-expression become a holy — thing or be rightly given its full physical completion. Without pure and spiritual affection, the physical relation of sex is not love, and it may sink to the level of mere lust; and sexual intercourse in which the physical act is not the sign of some such spiritual affection is a degradation, an outrage against God, one’s partner and oneself. We do not claim that such a sublimation of sex is peculiar to the Christian ; but it is easier and more natural when Christianity is a part of life; it is because love thus realised and fulfilled is so splendid and sacred a thing that the Christian insists that the struggle for chastity is infinitely worth while. Those who have an under- standing of married life as God means it to be will feel that any yielding to the sexual appetites apart from such love is a hideous defilement. Something has been lost irretrievably by a single act of loveless or unconsecrated union; and what is lost is the 54 LOVE AND PURITY possibility of the most perfect of human relation- ships. Corruptio optimt pessima. Thus the ideal as laid down in the New Testa- ment is in the highest sense a revelation: when examined, it is seen to be true. Others will not work, but this will. The only complete satisfaction is to be found in a lifelong union where each partner treats the other as he would treat himself. ‘In this connection, a word should be said on the subject of Voluntary Celibacy. We have the highest authority for saying that continence, which is celibacy on its physical side, can cause no injury toanormalman. Whencelibacy obtains for a whole class it is a clear refutation of the frequently made statement that total abstinence from sex-relations leads inevitably to nervous breakdown or prevents the use of the full mental powers. It acts as a stimulus and encouragement to those who are struggling to be chaste in difficult circumstances, and it raises a protest against excess in sexual in- dulgence similar to the protest of total abstinence against the immoderate use of alcohol. As a tribute to the exalted demands of a vocation which, it is felt, would be hindered by the claims of sexual desire, if the sexual impulse can be transformed into the specific form of energy needed to carry out that vocation, it has a high social value. 3.. [HE ‘* Sincte STANDARD ”’ Hitherto we have assumed that the Christian ‘ideal is applicable alike to men and women. We claim from them an equal adherence to the highest standard of life, an equal contribution to 55 RELATION OF THE SEXES the fulfilling of God’s purpose, an equal partner- ship in the -high function of parenthood. When St. Paul declared that in Christ Jesus there is neither male nor female, he condemned the notion that special privileges or burdens fitted or dis- qualified either sex for the attainment of full membership in the family of God: they were brothers and sisters equal in value and in the possi- bility of their truest development. Both alike were called to be children of and fellow-workers with | their Father. But equality of value does not involve identity of function; and it is because of the physiological differences between them that the idea of a double standard of morality for men and women has arisen. . That such a difference of standard has been and still is widely accepted is plain enough. Chastity has been demanded from all but a minority of women: it has been thought hopeless to expect it from the majority of men. Utterly as we re- pudiate this attitude, we must recognise that it is not wholly arbitrary or “ man-made,” but has its origin in the facts of sex, or rather in the tendencies to which those facts give rise. We are aware that in making the demand which the Christian Church has made with more or less decision, through the centuries, we are doing no light thing. We are aware that for a consider- able number of women and a very much larger proportion of men, abstinence from sex relations before marriage may mean a fierce and often almost desperate struggle, and we recognise in the 56 LOVE AND PURITY laws of our human nature the deep mystery which has placed beside the path to the fulfilment of our reproductive functions so powerful a temptation to evil. It would appear that this fulfilment is a pearl only to be purchased at the greatest price. But we hold that the price must be paid, by society as a whole, and by individuals, if the pearl is to be won. We would pass no censorious verdict on those who do not resist the temptation. We do not anathematise those who refuse to regard every impulse to satisfaction outside marriage as a tempta- tion to be resisted. The belief that an urge so strong must have been meant to find more satis- faction than marriage can always afford is, we hold, mistaken; but it is intelligible. We can never assess the amount of responsibility, or the punish- ment due. But whatever our attitude to the persons who thus think and act, our attitude to the act itself is clear. It destroys far more than it can give. Even if regarded as a temporary alleviation, it spoils the fuller and deeper satisfaction that is hoped for in the future. At the best, it is a poor substitute for an abiding union of heart and will. At its worst, it leaves a “‘ burning forehead and a parching tongue,” or it means a deliberate selfish- ness which, when carried into these most intimate relations, is doubly culpable. Although it is obvious how the double standard has been assumed and excused, we believe that it is as unwarranted by the facts of sex as it is opposed to sound social life. Fundamentally and apart from the restraints of convention the sexual impulse 57 RELATION OF THE SEXES seems to be, at least in many cases, as strong in women as in’ men, and not in itself more easy to control. During the evolution of society civilised man has passed beyond the stage of polygamy, and after a multitude of experiments monogamy has become natural to him and necessary to society. The double standard is really a relic of the past, a relic unworthy of man’s own highest aspirations as it is false to the principles of Christianity. As men and women come to appreciate their responsi- bilities to God and to one another, and to seek to realise them together, they view with disgust the notion that the consecration of one partner to his share in the sacrament of parenthood need not be | complete. However this may be (and individuals differ so widely that generalisations can seldom be accurate), it is plain that the present recognition of a double standard by public opinion makes chastity more dificult for men than for women, and this inflicts a serious social wrong upon the community. ‘The effect of this lack of social inhibition upon prosti- tution will be discussed later (See Chap. III, sec. 2). Here we would only point out that if the future development of humanity is to be achieved by the full co-operation of the sexes, the continued accept- ance of the idea that men can hardly be expected to remain chaste is a fatal bar to progress. For it means that men are to be encouraged to be content with something lower than the best, and that women are to be embittered by a sense of injustice which fosters sex-antagonism and prevents all true partnership. While fully recognising the difficulty 58 LOVE AND PURITY of overthrowing long-established conventional opin- ions, we are convinced that the acceptance of the rule of chastity for men and women alike would be a potent factor in securing its carrying out. What is needed is purity of soul in every member of the community, that all may see and serve God and combine in the family life of His human children. Let us, then, ask ourselves what is behind this generally though tacitly accepted acquiescence in the double standard. ‘The usual answer is simply that the passions of men are more easily aroused and more insistent for satisfaction than those of women. And there are not wanting those who stigmatise this as wholly self-indulgent and deplorable—men are the chief sinners and are a little to be despised, women are the victims and are to be greatly pitied. On the other hand, individual women are almost universally judged more severely than men. ‘The real causes of this severity are diverse. The mother of the unwanted child, unlike the father, is visible and recognised everywhere as the cause of the scandal; and, as socially weaker and physio- logically more burdened, she has had to bear an amount of condemnation from which the father, in social convention, has escaped. Society has passed the same judgment when the illicit union has been discovered in other ways than by the birth of a child. In the case of adultery, the woman, as at once the property and the guardian of the property of her husband, has been treated with special severity, while her partner has been judged more or less severely as a partner (though rarely as so guilty a partner) in the theft. 59 RELATION OF THE SEXES A more potent reason is to be found in the differing functions of men and women inthe economy of the world. We speak of a woman as giving herself to aman; but for what? Looked at in its highest and best, it is that she may receive God’s gift of the possibility of a new life through the instrument de- signed by Him for that purpose, that is, through man. Biologically it is the business of the male of all species to seek his mate for this purpose. It is a holy and a beautiful provision for the carrying on of the life of the world, and it is fundamental to the whole plan. God has granted to mankind that through the ages this act of creation shall come to be an expression of love, so that there is constantly the _ double pull of love and of necessity, on the part of the man to give, and of the women to receive, this great gift of God. But He has also granted the gift of freedom, that through the exercise of self- training and self-control the spiritual side of human nature may grow, and the vision of truth and beauty may become a reality. Freedom, however, means freedom to sin and fail, as well as freedom to grow in grace, and the greater the gift the greater the possibility of failure. In the male the urge for the expression of this function committed to him is very great, and the tragic possibility of failure is also very great. If all, men and women alike, could realise and not forget this difference in function and the resulting difference in temptation, would they not each try to discover wherein the temptation to excess chiefly lies, and how victory can be achieved? Is there not a tendency to look upon a woman’s part in all this 60 LOVE AND PURITY reproductive experience as pure and holy, and not to recognise with tenderness and generosity the man’s part as of equal beauty and honour? For ages the chivalry of men towards woman, their reverence and care, particularly at the time of child-bearing, has been one of her most precious possessions, and has done much to preserve the honour and dignity of motherhood. Is there not an equal honour due from women to men in their part of fatherhood ? But the problem is, of course, most acute for the young unmarried man. His temptations are greater, his safeguards are fewer. We deal elsewhere with the problem of early marriage, and in this con- nection it is of vital importance. But for the unmarried man, particularly in the great cities, far too little is done. We believe that the best help is the intimacy of the family circle, and that the happy possessors of Christian homes should be willing to consider their responsibility to those who are the future founders of homes. In countless ways these young men can be helped; and we wish to point out that to give this help is a duty, and a pleasure that is laid upon the members of our Christian Churches. And this leads us to say one more thing. Ifin the fulfilment of his functions it is inevitable that the sex feelings are in man more easily excited and less easily subdued than in woman, should that not entail on women a sympathetic and tender understanding of the things that call these feelings and desires into activity? Itis not lewd nor low for women to know and understand these things. It is their duty, their right, and their privilege; and unless they do understand they may quite ignorantly 61 RELATION OF THE SEXES make the struggle for purity harder. In the new comradeship in work and in play between the sexes, a new and deeper understanding is required on both sides. It is upon this enlightened understanding that the future depends. This new freedom, tempered by a new knowledge, may be the beginning of a new era in the relations of the sexes; otherwise, it may degenerate into looseness and licence, and bear within it the seeds of the decay of human society. If, then, the temptation to a lower standard of purity be generally speaking greater in men than in women, does it not behove the mother-heart of women to help in the great fight? It is an acknow- ledged fact that the temptation to excess is very great for men who have sedentary and restricted occupations; andit is also an acknowledged fact that in boys’ schools, where a high athletic standard is maintained, the purity question is often easier to meet. Does not this suggest that women should encourage their men to play games, to get out into the country, to engage in some hobby or interest which may help to transmit some of their sex energy into other channels? ‘This would often mean a real sacrifice in many ways, both from the point of view of comradeship and also of household work and arrangements, and again of finance. It is hoped and believed that with the growth of garden cities, shorter hours of sedentary work, widening interests in great problems, and the increased sense of citizenship and responsibility for giving service to others, the problem will become less acute and difficult. But it will be with us for long years yet. The way out will not be the same for 62 LOVE AND PURITY all; but one thing is sure, that men and women must stand shoulder to shoulder in the fight, in honour preferring one another, knowing that the struggle for purity is common to both, encouraging, not judging, loving, not despising, praying and believing in the power to overcome by the grace and love of God. Meanwhile, if Christian standards are to prevail, the community must learn to obey the precept “judge not,” and the Church must learn not to ““cast the stone.” We must condemn and also deplore the conduct, we must do all we can to heal the sinner. ‘The main thing is to prevent the commission or the repetition of the sin by any and every effective means, but especially by inducing hatred of the sin itself. A serious obstacle to progress towards the single standard is the state of the law as regards women. The law, as many persons outside the ranks of feminists have recognised, is ‘‘ man-made.” It embodies the sentiments, the desires and the fears of the average man, ‘“‘ homme moyen sensuel.” And when public opinion begins to change, as is the case to-day, the law is slow to reflect the altera- tion, and thus tends to recall public opinion back to its own level, the level of the opinion of an earlier time. It is no part of our duty to set forth in detail the laws that still press hardly on women, or imply, by the inequality of their penalties, that women ought.to be judged more severely than men, or regarded as naturally the property or the victims of men. Nor have we to suggest detailed or specific amendments in the law. While the 63 RELATION OF THE SEXES law in its present state reflects a genuine anxiety to protect women and children, its provisions are so arranged as to press far less heavily on male offenders than many would now feel to be just. In reply, it is common to point out the possi- bilities of temptation, and the dangers of black- mail, by women; but these evils cannot be met by the simple method of limiting the penalties for a crime. It is significant, however, that in connection with these laws, as with the laws on marriage, the sentiment in favour of equalisation is steadily growing. ‘The connection between this sentiment and the Bastardy and Legitimacy Acts may not appear obvious to all; but the desire is embedded in both these Acts, that the father should no longer be free of duties and responsibilities to the offspring of an illicit connection, and that in England, as in Scotland, the illegitimate child should have a definite status of his own beside his legitimate brothers and sisters; and this is surely evidence of a growing revolt against the view that a man may indulge himself outside marriage as much as he pleases (a licence never granted to a respectable woman), and that, save for the necessary alimony, he may leave the resulting inconveniences and burdens to his partner. We are agreed in holding with entire conviction that the maintenance of the single standard is essential to a right appreciation and discharge of the obligations of each sex to the other. This standard is as necessary to the true interests of the man as of the woman. ‘To surrender it is to lay 64 LOVE AND PURITY the man open immediately to grave and cruel temptations. The present double standard may appear to place woman in an exalted universe, as a creature of a virtue to which man cannot attain. This, however, is not only to degrade man; it is to degrade woman also; for if man cannot be expected to reach that level, many women are of necessity forced beneath it. While we believe, as we have said, that public opinion is slowly moving towards the recognition of the single standard, everything must be done to secure that the process is continued. ‘The price of advance in this direction, like the price of freedom, is eternal vigilance. By education in all its depart- ments, by the publication of sound literature, and the demand for it, by suitable and effective refer- ences in the pulpit and on the platform, by resolute attempts to remove all anomalies from the statute book, and most of all by the opinions and judgments of private conversation and social intercourse, members of the Christian Churches may render the service for which the world is waiting. 4. CHASTITY AND PsycHoLocy In presenting the Christian conception of purity we are at once confronted with the familiar objec- tions of those who allege that chastity has a bad effect upon physical and mental health, since abstinence interferes with the normal flow of sexual energy. Criticism of this kind, though by no means so general as in the past, is too common to be disregarded, and it is important for us to F 65 RELATION OF THE SEXES consider it in the light of recent psychological investigations. We are aware that some physicians still advise their patients in certain circumstances, in order to avoid the evils of repression, to have recourse to some form of sexual indulgence. But no evidence put before us by professional men has proved or even urged the necessity of this practice. On the contrary, we have been reminded that the evils of repression cannot be removed in this easy but superficial fashion, and that to recommend it is often to increase the anxiety which is the real cause of the trouble. The patient has been told to do what, with one side of his nature, he has been | shrinking from doing; and he will not shrink any the less. ‘This is to attack the symptom and neglect the cause. As it has been put before us, medical science leaves the Christian rule of chastity un- touched, both from the psychological and the physical side. It has become abundantly clear that in our modern social life the Christian rule of chastity demands a considerable and often a painful degree of abstinence. Now if, in obedience to the rules of chastity, or for any other reason, sexual energy does not find its normal outlet, it may take one of the four following directions : It may appear as a neurosis. A neurosis may be described as a morbid condition in which certain elements in the sensory or imaginative expenence of the individual are detached or “ dis- sociated ” from the rest, and exercise a dispro- portionate and dominating influence over him. 66 LOVE AND PURITY Hence neuroses may be more generally called disorders due to the conflicts of emotion arising more particularly when sexual energy is thwarted or misdirected. It is advisable that parents, teachers and others, should be aware of the possibilities of the mis- direction of sexual energy, and the general nature of the means whereby it can be prevented before it calls for skilled curative treatment. The deplorable results of neurotic conditions are well known; their frequency is seldom suspected. It is not for the amateur to attempt to diagnose cases of neurosis; still less to treat them. But the minister or the trusted adviser will often be met by a difficulty which is really amenable to patience and friendliness, and to a firm reliance on the beneficence of an unseen Power. If the bewildered sufferer can find a friend who can explain to him the cause of his troubles, or who, by sheer good- will, can produce an impression that he is being cared for and protected, the misery will often disappear. This benefit has not seldom been conferred, both within and outside religious communities, by persons who never heard of psycho-analysis. ‘There is no reason why it should not be conferred more frequently and successfully when the principle underlying it is known. ‘Therapeutists will them- selves admit that a great deal in psycho-analysis is only thoughtful and critical common-sense. Every therapeutist lays much reliance on a relation of confidence and intimacy between his patient and himself, and this the amateur ought to have 67 RELATION OF THE SEXES at his command. ‘The atmosphere of openness, kindly forethought, and resolve to do and to believe the best, with all that St. Paul describes in 1 Cor. xlii., which ought to abound in every community of Christian people, is like the sunshine to the tubercle germ; and we feel ourselves justified in repeating the advice of an old authority on mental disease: ‘‘ I can conceive no better means of pre- venting the approach of mental evils than the ‘practice of committing oneself regularly to the care of a Father in heaven.” | The thwarted sexual energy may, however, lead to some aberrant form of sex-functioning. Mastur- bation and homo-sexuality are examples. ‘The former is generally recognised to be very frequent; the latter, which, with some striking exceptions, has been strongly condemned both by law and opinion, is relatively rare. As regards the former, it is argued that the habit is often formed in early years and without any conscious wrongdoing, that it is an outlet for sex-tension less objection- able than any other because involving only its victim, and that its evil effects have been grossly exaggerated. It is clear, however, that the ease of indulgence leads to excess, physiological and mental excitement, distraction and debility, and that its effects on character may be and often are deplor- able. As to the latter, the genuine sex-pervert no doubt suffers: great hardship. But society has the right to protect its members from practices which are directly anti-social, because neither natural nor normal: and the Church, though viewing the pervert with the eae sympathy, cannot but 8 LOVE AND PURITY regard him or her as a defective whose abnormality must be isolated and submitted to special treat- ment. Both conditions are psychologically and morally morbid. In both cases we believe that the opening up of wider interests, the development of healthy ideals, and above all the discovery of the Christian vocation as the supreme goal of human life, will have power to set the victims free, breaking the hold of their disease and enabling them to recover a full and normal virility. The endeavour to repress all sex-activities involves for most people a serious and continued effort. The struggle may be successful so far as the re- straining of their instincts from any physical grati- fication is concerned. But it may be won at the cost of stunting or perverting the true and gracious development of their personalities ; and the character formed by it, though physically chaste, may be lacking in the finest quality of spiritual chastity. But the sex instinct, like other instincts, can be diverted from its original ends and redirected to purposes satisfying to the individual and of value to thecommunity. The process by which this is accom- plished is described by the much-misused term of sublimation. In considering it we must not forget that the sexual instinct, though one of the most fundamental and powerful, is only part of the whole “make-up ” of personality. Self-expression, even such as would naturally find an outlet through sex, can be, and by numbers of normal people is, directed into some other channel. ‘The history of Christi- anity proves that multitudes of men and women have lived full and rich lives although they have 69 RELATION OF THE SEXES renounced or been debarred from all sexual experi- ence. ‘They. have found a vision and a purpose in life large enough to satisfy the whole of their instincts in the service of God and of their fellows. For married and unmarried alike this sublimation of sex is the way to a right use of their existence. The Church exists in order to call men and women to an adventure in which, whatever their tempera- ments or opportunities, they can realise fullness of life. Individuals will differ in their capacity to respond. But it is evident that a complete sub- limation whereby a fully-developed personality is realised without sexual relationships or perversion is not unattainable. ‘The sympathies and intimacies usually associated with consummated sexual love may find a different but not less spiritually satisfying expression in the love of God and of His children. The above recommendations are wholly and, we think, rightly, opposed to an ideal of asceticism which, though often adopted by Christians, is no true child of Christianity. If sexual energy is something that springs up in all normal human beings, it must have both a racial and an individual significance. There can be no doubt that sex has been the greatest factor for good and evil in the history of the race, and that the attainment of the right relation between the sexes is the open door to happiness and peace. 5. Epucation anp Purity The above, as will at once be seen, points to the influence of education. This is a subject which 7O LOVE AND PURITY we shall have to emphasise again and again in this Report. In our considered judgment, the evils involved in the relations between the sexes cannot be remedied, save in the most inadequate fashion, by repression, fear, punishment, or, speaking generally, by law. These short and easy methods are, and have always been, doomed to failure. Continence must be founded on the assent and will of the individual. This is clearly a matter of training, and issues in a disposition or habit of mind which is the surest preservative of all right conduct. The nature and scope of this education will be considered in detail in the succeeding pages of the Report. If we wish to secure purity in society, we must prepare for the long and arduous task with sympathy and patience, wisdom and love. Such an educative moulding of individual standards and public opinion will rightly be expected to come from the Churches. Purity cannot be spread by the short and easy method of pronouncing moral judgments. Public opinion, purification of environment, instruction, the membership of a religious society, inculcation of ideals, healthy interests, and still more healthy friendships, are indispensable. Legislation may pro- hibit a trade in evil and practices that are technically a “nuisance.” Only personal dealing and personal enthusiasm will produce the fine flower of personal purity. But if none of these means is to be neglected, not all of them taken together are abso- lutely reliable. The Christian at least will add, “‘'The heart must be open to that saving influence rai RELATION OF THE SEXES of God which comes by prayer and faith.” God made us with desires, and with spiritual impulses ; He made it possible for us to sink to lust or rise to love, allowing us to be beset in this imperfect world with pitfall and with gin, and yet ordaining life as our chance of the prize of gaining love. There- fore, unless His creative act is an irony, and His purpose a pitiless confusion, He can be relied upon to bestow, in answer to our desires, the purity and self-control He demands, and to inspire the courage and ardour and passion which He is engaged to crown. It must be remembered, however, that such education can only do its work in the right social atmosphere. As we have urged in the first section | of this Report, the true relation between the sexes, in a world where men and women, boys and girls, have to live together, is one of comradeship. It is on this ground that segregation of the sexes is dangerous. Most attempts to secure it, necessary and even inevitable as they may be thought, end in a failure that is often disastrous. When men are herded together in the army they find ways of intercourse with the other sex which some may excuse, but all deplore. When the sexes are kept apart in boarding schools and colleges, all who have had experience know the care that is necessary to prevent undesirable intimacies, and the value of holidays and vacations in supplying the corrective of a more natural life. However we may assess the value of the actual forms of co-education that have been tried, the principle is, in our judgment, wholly sound. 72 LOVE AND PURITY The question of the amount and character of the instruction that should be given to children and young people to help them to a right apprecia- tion and use of sex is one on which there is still wide divergence of opinion, although the attitude which regards the whole subject as unmentionable is growing less common. Our Commission, being agreed that sex is a right and beautiful and normal part of the natural order, is unanimous in regarding this attitude as mistaken; but it is by no means ready to dogmatise about the extent or method or time of specific teaching. It has been well stated that the most important attack upon sexual as upon other evils is the flank attack. And Christian education, as the example of its Master shows, must be positive, not negative. It is in the training of a child’s character, in the fostering habits of self-control, of unselfishness and of truthfulness, that the foundation for a right attitude towards purity is laid. Reverence for themselves and for others, physical cleanliness and health, frankness and friendliness, a sense of beauty and of wonder, a belief in God—these things should be taught in every home. Specially important are the answers given to the first childish inquiries about birth. Sooner or later, between the ages of three and five, the question, “* How do babies come? ” will be asked, often with an embarrassing abruptness and publicity. If it is met with evasion or a frowning suggestion that such curiosity is unseemly, the whole subject will become distorted in the child’s mind: inquisitive- ness will be stimulated, but concealed, and a priceless 73 RELATION OF THE SEXES opportunity will be lost. A conventional falsehood may appear satisfactory for the moment, but before long the deceit will be discovered and the confidence of the child destroyed. The parents will be the first to be questioned. If they answer frankly and simply, the whole subject will seem natural and wonderful. If they fail, the child will take its inquiries elsewhere. We do not suggest that children should be encouraged to ask or to think about sex; indeed the danger of dwelling too much upon it should be fully recognised; but candour and naturalness form the surest way to get the whole subject into its proper perspective. Great difficulty arises when the parents are unwilling or unable to deal with the subject. Any substitute for the intimacy and frankness of a good home must be a second best. And if a wrong attitude towards sex has been allowed to develop in the early years, it is almost impossible to counter- act its effects. But under existing circumstances we have to recognise that through shyness or ignorance many parents take the easy path of evasion, that their children once repelled will not look to them for help, and that undesirable sources of information are only too easy of access. Clergy and ministers, school teachers and friends, may often be able to do what should have been done by father or mother. It is their duty to be ready to do so. At a later stage, and at any rate when puberty approaches, more specific information will be neces- sary. Children should be told the simple facts about their own bodies, and the responsibility for this, though best undertaken by the parents, cannot be 74 LOVE AND PURITY neglected in schools. Nature study reinforced by the teaching of simple hygiene can be used to explain all that is necessary; and the atmosphere of an unemotional scientific lesson keeps the subject free from suggestiveness and tension. The child will accept such instruction with interest and reverence, without brooding or self-consciousness, provided it is given in a straightforward and unem- barrassed spirit. ‘The personality of the teacher and the moral tone of the school are all-important. Unless a high ideal of sex is linked up with a know- ledge of the facts, such knowledge had better not be given. For it must be recognised that the curiosity of the adolescent, reinforced by the first stirrings of the sexual nature, is concerned not with the facts of reproduction so much as with the nature and sensations of sex-intimacy. ‘These cannot be taught, and to stimulate the desire for experience is to arouse something which no knowledge of physiology can allay. Only if children are from the first impressed with a high ideal of purity and of parent- hood, and with the sacredness and responsibility of sex, can they be helped to keep so great a possession unspoiled. It is difficult, if not impossible, to lay down precise rules; for experienced teachers differ widely in their opinions, and the circumstances of the child’s temperament and home vary enormously. ‘That adolescents are almost invariably responsive to the ideal of purity, and even in tainted surroundings do not easily become callous to it, is as evident as that the risk of contamination exists from infancy 75 RELATION OF THE SEXES and that temptation can never be wholly avoided. We believe that it is generally advisable to avoid the discussion of sex in class-work except in the science lesson, to guard against all sensationalism and sentimentality in dealing with it, and to treat the subject only with individuals or small groups. Books and pamphlets should be used with caution and lent personally rather than distributed broad- cast. Lectures to parents with or without their children are a valuable part of such instruction. More important, however, than specific teaching is the handling of the first manifestations of emotion definitely connected with sex, which normally take place at about the time of puberty. Both boys and girls at this period form strong and passionate ~ attachments, generally for one of their own sex. This hero-worship, though frequently exaggerated and easily leading to undesirable consequences, is a normal experience—the first flowering of the emotional nature. Unless perverted it has little if any physical desire; though arising from sex, it is itself sexless, romantic and spiritual. ‘Teachers have too often attempted merely to repress such emotions, thereby driving them underground and inevitably suggesting that they are impure. Such treatment leads to disastrous results in almost all cases—either to the suppression of all outlets for the feelings and to an impoverishment of the whole character, or more often to the tainting of the whole passionate side of life, and to the very practices which it is hoped to avert. In no aspect of educa- tion is there greater need for wise sympathy and frank recognition of the facts. 76 LOVE AND PURITY Specific warnings against the dangers of pro- miscuous intercourse and consequent disease should only be given at a later period, when the boy or girl is sent out into the world. Fear even then should never be used as the dominant motive for an appeal; but the adolescent who has to face the direct assault of physical desire ought not to be left in ignorance of the results of yielding to tempta- tion. Such warnings should be kept subordinate to the positive emphasis upon the value of wide interests and activities, of clean comradeship, and of the hope of love and marriage and parenthood. Young people should be told something of the nature and difficulties of the opposite sex. Girls who understand that man’s passion is more easily aroused and more difficult to control than their own, and boys who know that a girl’s reaction to emotion is psychological rather than physical, pro- tracted rather than immediate, will be saved from careless injury to one another. A sense of responsi- bility and affectionate care for one another, and of the joy and beauty of their relationship, cannot be too widely fostered. If the splendour and the demands of sex-life are kept steadily before them, adolescents will pass safely through the period of instability and flirtation with characters enriched by its ardours and romance. And, throughout, the object of such education must be to see sex in its true relation to life, and life in its true relation to God. To know our- selves involves not only a knowledge of the elements and instincts which constitute our heritage, but a knowledge of what those elements can under God 10 RELATION OF THE SEXES become. ‘The boy or girl who has been taught the facts and neéds of sexual life must also be shown its purpose and its place in the fulfilment of his or her true vocation. To isolate the sex-instinct from the rest of the personality, to make its grati- fication an end in itself, is to produce obsession and to destroy the balance and rhythm of the whole. Only as we bring this and every other factor in our personalities into conformity with God’s will, devoting our whole selves to its furtherance, and as we regard sex as one among many powers and graces whereby we can serve Him and His children, shall we learn for ourselves and for others to make wise use of this great yet dangerous gift. By whom, then, is this further instruction to be given? It is no more possible to count upon every parent for this at present, than it is for the teaching of young children. There are, we have been assured, many mothers, even in the slums, who, with incredible courage and good faith, bring up their children and send them out into the world with clean minds and bodies. If others have not been so successful, or sO anxious, we must put the blame on surround- ings which might daunt the severest critics of the morals of the poor, if those critics, instead of tolerating their existence and blaming their in- habitants, had to live in their midst. We desire, at this point, to make a recommendation which, we think, is practicable, and which might, if carried out, have very far-reaching consequences. It is that every local religious community should regard itself as responsible for seeing that the children 78 LOVE AND PURITY nominally under its care should receive, from some source, the necessary teaching and equipment, from infancy to the threshold of adult life. Where the parents can be expected to give it, the parents should be exhorted and instructed to do so. Where they are manifestly incompetent, other persons should be chosen for the children as they reach the need for instruction. These persons would vary and should be chosen with the greatest care. For quite young children, two or three wise Sunday-school or day-school teachers could be found. Later, the minister himself, or some older person, might best be able to say the things that would then be needed. What is essential is that there should be a group in every Church who should be responsible for seeing that, in the case of that Church, the needs should be met as they arise. If this is not done, how can a Church pretend to be obeying the command to feed the lambs, or to suffer the children to come to their Saviour? But if the task is approached with resolution and faith, we believe that in no long time a supply of capable teachers will be found; and also that it will soon appear possible for the public elementary schools to do what is felt by the Christian community to be specially their duty; that in the factories and places of business to which the young people go, either through welfare workers or others, the right atmosphere will be preserved, the grosser tempta- tions at least banished; and that no stumbling- blocks will be cast, as they are cast at present with such appalling frequency and callousness, in the way of the little ones. 79 RELATION OF THE SEXES This recommendation will probably have re- minded the reader that at or about the time of adolescence, the Anglican Church steps into the young life with the rite of Confirmation. Most of the Free Churches in the place of this rite arrange for services for the reception of young people into the full membership of the Church; and these are often preceded by special classes for instruction in the duties and privileges of member- ship. ‘That such special instruction, however, should be arranged to coincide with adolescence, . as it often is, seems to us wholly undesirable. It seems much wiser to place it either before adoles- cence, as is usual in the Roman Catholic Church, or after the age of 18. Boy and girl, conscious of new emotions and impulses, are psychologically in a state of very unstable equilibrium; they are both in the middle of a very vigorous intellectual flowering ; music, poetry and pictures are just beginning to make a very strong appeal to them. At such a time, to confront them with the demand for re- nunciation, unless it is put in its proper relation to the call for adventure and devotion and fellowship, is almost certainly to cause confusion, distress or revolt. In view of these difficulties, we consider that the whole subject of preparation for Confirma- tion or reception into the Church should be taken much more seriously by the clergy of every denomina- | tion. Some knowledge of adolescent psychology should be demanded of all who undertake this work. Also, all teaching given in preparation for full membership of the Church should be positive rather than negative. To use the talents given 80 LOVE AND PURITY us; to prune the tree that it may be more fruit- ful; to use self-control, not as mere suppression, but as guiding and directing all the powers of our being towards a definite end, the service of God and our fellow-men; these are ideas which will not clash with the impulses of youth, or with the belief in the gift of the strength and power of God to enable us to do His will. If some such opportunity, with or without a_ special rite, takes place at or after adolescence, some reference to sex in preparation is almost unavoidable. This is very important. Here, if not before, sex is usually placed in a thoroughly false perspective by vague allusions to the flesh, to purity and so on. Yet here is the time when, if we believe sex to be a great and pure gift of God, we should help young people so to see it, and to get a right attitude towards it in relation to religion and the rest of life. If the question of sex is dealt with at all when preparing for Confirmation, it should be treated with complete openness and honesty; the facts, the difficulties and the excellences should all be made clear. All such teaching should be given to the individual child alone. And in the case of girls, this part of preparation for Confirmation or “ full membership” might well be undertaken by a woman. In other words, the spirit of this special teaching, for which the various Churches already feel them- selves to be responsible, should be the spirit of all the teaching which we have recommended in this part of our Report ; it should explain, appropriately to the age of the learners, the God-given functions G 8I RELATION OF THE SEXES of the human body and mind; the satisfaction and honour of discharging them with an exalted purpose and chivalrous intention; and the certainty of the bestowal of the Divine grace in every such use of the Divine gifts. 82 CHAPTER III THE REVOLT AGAINST THE CHRISTIAN IDEAL ue kent i nv « Pil ae yy ; a 2°74 ' "ie gh. wera AS fh ; ve a OT ven Pay se ays Sh tae iy it) Rha ree Vid’ fed Osh, ey 7 | tie at > Nn) Gab ist | yA ae Mg tae a + ‘ Ai? 1 s a ‘ che ee 3G. f ’ } ‘ 1, ( Ray } ; tne ; yy Ay A 4 t au ‘ j j Ds t Var aL i) Mi ; : i. ‘ ' é 1 i] ay , fe ‘ 4 ras Ay : J \ ” at 7 et ) j ve ak eu a co r 5 4 ALY x apy are J iW Aye ve f ‘1 / ; ¢ ar) Fal ty? J : - f } $ oA Pre re : fi daly i rl Aika : £9 he Ay 7 Wipe hd | ¥ ; i: ‘ “ A i ok | iG sale hye i@ "ey y 4 ‘ %* ry LU ' ‘ PASS Ag po uy ‘ ‘ 4 vite t¥ “Niet 5 v, 5 j , “ a five | P TO, 4 BO. adie xy |e | ‘a vickica ; ’ “| 4 eae ey bea ht aie , nits WAP Agee | ‘ ae ; f 2 A With ; jl ret mer ys ora, ip L i aS ane: a 4 PD | ' ou ‘ ; is | 6 L 9 ¥ v, ee ‘ fer a Sent Ay. ecw ot os by ig STRLY # 1 / tant > irs ’ Aig, ) ye > Af ‘y : WAS f bohf vie | ’ ce pe bir? ' ) ils By Tila claital 4h t f ‘ LJ ' ve! ARTA AA ib WO LAIE p 4th ‘ : iv’ s vie ie - ao ane an Vinge: if Yas / ER Mi $y x ¢ nas 4 «fi Vivit a a 4h iA REN NS a De RN AY ay Pee X s ' is ee ieee a Bani vt 5 UN hd fiud 7 aie Oe 8 ay OMe <_, — ~ CHAPTER III THE REVOLT AGAINST THE CHRISTIAN IDEAL 1. THe ATTACK UPON CHASTITY AND Monocamy 1. The age of criticism —Powerful causes have lately been at work to call for a revision of customary rules and standards, throughout every department of human interests, and not least in relation to sex. It would indeed be a mistake to speak of the present time as the age of criticism. A fresh stream of criticism has played upon accepted institutions and conventions in the Middle Ages, the Reformation, and the epoch of the French Revolution. What marks our own age is that the stream is now very much broader than before. As, in the course of the history of thought, one institution after another has been reached and passed, others, hitherto left untouched, have felt the rising tide. Further, in previous epochs the criticism was confined to comparatively few; now the general spread of education and the wide sweep of popular journalism have set the boldest questions on the lips of multi- tudes. ‘‘ Why should we take the old-fashioned idea of marriage for granted{ Should we not do better with some other and more modern way of uniting the sexes? That it has the authority of 85 RELATION OF THE SEXES the past is no recommendation for us. Let it tell us on what its authority is based. We want no ipse dixit of the moralist.”” Bentham might have used the same words a century ago. And even to-day the answer is often not forthcoming. The very fact that authority could previously rely on itself led to the neglect of its own defences. Forced now to fall back on them, it finds them, for its immediate use, sadly out of repair. The easy answer, “Such criticism itself is wrong,” cannot now serve its turn. It is natural to go on to ask, ‘‘Is chastity mere cant?” “Is marriage a failure?”’—the latter question, we may re- member, was asked by a well-known journal, and ~ answered, generally in the affirmative, by very ‘modern ” correspondents, more than thirty years ago. In fact, everyone who finds his own marriage a failure naturally answers the question by an indignant “‘yes”’; and others, who might at first have shrunk from any criticism at all, are impressed and even convinced. ‘Thus a large volume of dis- content, previously unnoticed or repressed, becomes mobilised. Much of that discontent is well founded. With an institution so universal, so intimate, and so demanding as marriage, it would be a miracle if failures, more or less tragic, were not to be found in everyone’s circle of acquaintances. But, when thus “lit up ” by criticism, they create further an atmosphere of restiveness and revolt which leads some, who have not suffered themselves, but are inflamed by the real or imagined sufferings of others, to join in attacking the whole system. And since, in the shock of conflict, the more solid 86 REVOLT AGAINST CHRISTIAN IDEAL arguments by which authority might be supported tend to be neglected by both sides, the victory of the assailants is easy. Still, the shout of triumph may be raised too quickly. When its full importance has been given to the movement for revolt, the great mass of the population goes on getting married, and remaining married, as before. By the majority of persons, marriage is no more seriously challenged to-day than it was with our grandfathers. Husbands and wives read modern novels and go to problem plays, and continue to share their lives together more or less satisfactorily. So venerable an institution as marriage, we are tempted to say, if it could ever fall, would have fallen long ago. Is society worse off than in the days of the Restoration? We need not listen to cries of panic. Yet because this public criticism is more general and perhaps less superficial than at any period in Christian history, we cannot omit some reference to it. For it is plain not only that it represents a certain weight of opinion which is not prepared to accept the Christian ideal of chastity and mo- nogamy, but that this ideal, though honoured in theory, has neither to-day nor in the past been widely followed in practice and is by many regarded as unattainable for normal menand women. Indeed, much of the present revolt against it proceeds from a genuine desire to face the facts of life, and from a genuine horror of the hypocrisy which professes a lofty standard and connives at evasion of the obligations imposed by it. We see around us evidence that public opinion treats the Christian 87 RELATION OF THE SEXES rule as inapplicable on a broad scale, and therefore excuses those who violate it, except on occasions when some flagrant breach is thrust under its notice. The Pharisaism which says, ‘“‘ You shall not be found out,”’ and adds, ‘‘ We will not find you out unless you compel us,” is intolerable to any decent person. Better recognise that Christianity is a failure than keep up a pretence of conformity. Mankind as compared with the rest of the animal creation is evidently over-sexed; and civilisation, in removing many forms of excitement and interest ~ open to primitive man, has fostered the develop- ment of the sex-instinct. ‘This has been the work of ages, and the present condition is not one that can be speedily altered or even modified. But we would urge that sex, like everything else in life, can only be rightly used if we “ride loose”’ to it. For great and glorious as sex may become, it is wholly a mistake to regard it, as many have done, as the supreme fact in the universe. It may be, and at its best is, the means to the highest human relationship; but this re- lationship (like human life itself) serves a purpose beyond itself, the glory of God. The beauty and truth and goodness of earth are only seen in their full splendour when seen against a background of eternity: the vision of God alone gives them their highest value. As we learn to see our sexual nature as part of a personality whose whole self is only realised or expressed in the service of the Kingdom of Heaven, we shall find sex itself transfigured. It will cease to be an element either despised and feared or indulged and. paraded. We shall learn 88 REVOLT AGAINST CHRISTIAN IDEAL to use it wisely and thankfully as what it is, a gift whereby if rightly employed we can enter most nearly into the knowledge of our Father’s character and share most intimately in His creative work. 2. Are chastity and monogamy unattainable tdeals ? —If we now turn to the arguments of those who regard chastity and monogamy as beyond the attainment of masculine nature except in rather abnormal cases, we have first to meet the fact that present social conventions, Government regula- tions and industrial circumstances, by compelling the postponement of marriage, militate against the fulfilment of the ideal. In certain circles it is still the custom to discourage men from marriage before the age of thirty, and to demand that they shall not contemplate it until they are able to “support a wife.” Many positions in the public service and in business are only tenable on condition that their holders, whether men or women, remain celibate, at least for a period of years. Early marriage may not be in all cases desirable. But a society which deliberately debars its younger mem- bers from the possibility of it during the time of life when their impulses are strongest can scarcely complain if illicit connections and prostitution abound. A Christian community must surely recog- nise the hardship which these conditions inflict and the grave social evils which spring from them, and the Church should use its influence for drastic reform. In the second place, more radical criticism has to be met. It is laid down that men and women are expected to abstain from all sexual experience 89 RELATION OF THE SEXES before marriage, to choose a partner for the most intimate union in life irretrievably, and to confine themselves to this partner thenceforward. Under existing circumstances this ideal is never, save in a small percentage of cases, fulfilled. Marriages do not all take place without any preliminary experi- menting; many, perhaps the majority of people, are incapable of lasting devotion; many, even if capable, find the wrong partner; and when once passion has been aroused it cannot be wholly repressed. Hence, it is urged that the present insistence on monogamy is maintained at the price of the hideous evil of prostitution and of irregular connections, with their consequences of | lying and subterfuge, cant and hypocrisy. Lecky long ago pointed out part of the price of Christian chastity; and though we have ceased to maintain a policy of silence on such matters, their existence is as widespread as ever. We are living in a fool’s paradise, condemning multitudes of women to lives of commercialised vice, and besmirching relation- ships often as pure as many marriages are, because we refuse to face the facts of life. To meet this difficulty, various proposals are made. We are asked to recognise (1) that a life- long union ought not to be undertaken without experience of sexual relationship or the possibility of its annulment, and that therefore some sort of experimental period, such as exists already among the majority of working people in many parts ss the country, should be generally recognised as preparation for marriage; and (2) that ni catiaaia is in all respects more objectionable than the tem- go REVOLT AGAINST CHRISTIAN IDEAL porary liaison; that the latter has often a real spiritual value; and that if the social and religious ban upon it were removed, the moral standard of the whole community would be raised. If, then, society may in this respect be said to con- nive at immorality, and if the circumstances under which numbers of young men find themselves when they first go to work are such as to reinforce their temptation; or if, as is urged, there are many, both men and women, for whom lasting devotion and an ideal marriage are impossible, and if, as psychology seems to suggest, repression of the sex- instinct is dangerous; or if, again, as some declare, human beings created sexual have a right to give expression to their passions, must we not recognise that universal chastity is impracticable? 3. The practicability of the 1tdeal—The reply which we would make is fourfold. It is indeed true that abstinence which is not accepted by the will but enforced by economic or conventional con- siderations is often harmful. But, in the first place, the suggested open liaison makes no provision for the rearing or education of a family, and thus frustrates the primary function of sex; and the possibility of bringing such a liaison to an end speedily must be condemned on biological and sociological grounds. All intercourse implies a physical as well as a mental modification which -must be recognised as pointing directly to mono- gamous unions. Secondly, the demand for continence outside marriage is not an impossible one. It is a most hopeful fact that the ideal of chastity in both sexes gI RELATION OF THE SEXES is beginning to find a new response in men them- selves. ‘This growing sentiment, as it affects prosti- tution, is referred to in the following section, but it has a wider scope. Few doctors with a reputation to lose will assert to-day that continence is impossible for the normal man, or even that it will entail any harmful consequences. If the call for chastity is not made, it will naturally not be responded to. It is necessary to begin by showing bravery and resolution enough to make the demand, and the demand will be increasingly justified. ; Thirdly, the sympathy which it is natural to feel for “hard cases’? must not lessen the emphasis that is to be laid on principle. ‘To say that con-. tinence is possible for all is not to deny that it is desperately difficult for many, and that pain and even anguish, both of mind and body, may be involved in the struggle to maintain it. But continence is not the only prize in life which must be gained with blood and sweat; and when it is ignored or despised, the distress and suffering are not less. Lastly, heavy as the burden entailed by this struggle may be, its weight is not something fixed and unalterable. All uneasiness and pain is harder when the sufferer rebels and tries to get rid of it. When he gives up this attempt, and summons his powers, not to repudiate but to endure it for some worthy end, and with constancy and resolve, it changes both its character and its intensity. When we cease to look upon the rule of continence as something that we would gladly disobey if we could find a convenient way of doing so, and regard 92 REVOLT AGAINST CHRISTIAN IDEAL it as an axiom of life, or, better still, as the will of an understanding and gracious God, to which we should never dream of being false, the struggle is already coming to an end. 4. “The right to motherhood.”—The suggestion already made and not yet answered, that every human being possessed of a sexual nature has a right to gratify it, is one which we should hardly think necessary to discuss, had it not been recently raised in the rather touching cry of “‘ the right to motherhood.” All women, it is said, can be and (if they wish) ought to be mothers; but because of economic or social reasons, and the numerical superiority of women to men, not every woman can be the lifelong partner of one man. Thus, multitudes of women, it is urged, are cut off from what is to many women the keenest joy in life, as well as the richest service they can render to society. What then is the basis of this “right”? Have we a right to all that we are structurally fitted for? Then why should there be any need for the restric- tions of marriage at all? Rights imply duties, but the duty of motherhood cannot properly be dis- charged apart from that of fatherhood. ‘The child needs both, and a temporary partner for the mother is not a true father for the child. For unmarried motherhood there may be an excuse, there can be no right. The excuse is indeed one which few will find easy to refuse. For in this case we are dealing with an infringement of the ideal committed not to gratify the urge of sexual appetite, but for the sake of the birth of a child. And the war, by 93 RELATION OF THE SEXES making marriage impossible for numbers of women, has robbed them through no fault of their own of the fulfilment of their own highest calling. Yet, with all sympathy for the suffering and disappoint- ment involved, it must be pointed out that such motherhood is in itself fundamentally selfish. The woman claiming it is thinking alike of the man and of the child as mere means to her own enhancement : it is the thought of her own frustrated possibilities, not of the welfare of her partner or of her baby, that dominates her. We do not believe that the — claim is widely made: indeed the tendency to despise motherhood and prefer freedom is at present more vocal and perhaps almost as widespread. But to those deprived of a mate who make it in anguish of soul, we would only say that theirs is perhaps © the hardest part among all those who are atoning by their broken lives for the sin of war. The heroism with which they are facing the situation is one which should command the admiration of every thoughtful person. 2. PROSTITUTION [Note.—In this section we wish to acknowledge the assistance we have received from a memorandum submitted to us at our invitation by Miss Alison Neilans, of the Association for Moral and Social Hygiene. ] The problem of Prostitution demands special treatment. Jew profess any attitude to the institu- tion of commercialised vice save that of convinced and horrified condemnation. Few, however, appear 94 REVOLT AGAINST CHRISTIAN IDEAL to have given much thought to the question why, though so universally condemned, the system flour- ishes everywhere, or even to the advantages which, in the struggle for existence imposed on systems as on everything else, it is able to offer. But to tolerate anything that cannot be defended, even if it seems unavoidable, has the gravest results for morality. And the devotion of large numbers of women to the satisfaction of the physical desires of men must cut at the root of the self-respect of any society that desires to be considered moral. In dealing with the various problems of our time raised by the relation between the sexes, we have offered no speedy cures or remedies. The seed, we know, must grow secretly and slowly. But we have laid stress on the nature and necessity of character and training in the healthy life of the sexes together. We look to prevention rather than cure for the admitted evils of human society. And we believe that as men and women learn to co-operate for the highest ends open to them, in the less and the more intimate sides of their life together, the desire for the selfish gratification of the senses will be gradually left behind; and that society itself, fortified by a saner public opinion and the acceptance of a higher ideal, will find itself superior at least to the grosser temptations of lust. We have, however, felt it right to treat this repel- lent subject at considerable length, partly because of its special difficulties, partly because secrecy and ignorance are more potent and dangerous allies to prostitution than perhaps to any other social evil, and partly because we believe that it is incumbent 95 RELATION OF THE SEXES on the Christian Church to deal with this disgrace to our social life. 1. The problem of prostitution.—We have little faith in legal enactments or in remedial measures by themselves. We believe that the best, and, in the end, the most direct way to attack prostitution would be to carry out, through society, the recom- mendations we have already made in the other parts of our Report. ‘This, it is true, is the “ flank attack’’; but amongst the other advantages of such strategy we must remind our readers of one that is often forgotten; namely, that it can be used by everyone, and in all circumstances. Compara- tively few can command the specialised knowledge and the personal skill to deal with the prostitute © and her surroundings, or even with the causes which have led her into her profession. All men and women can do something—and will, if rightly directed, always be doing something—to assist the saner co-operation between the sexes which will sterilise the rank and poisoned soil in which prosti- tution has flourished. The subject, however, cannot be left here. To neglect altogether the direct attack would be folly ; and even the flank attack, to be effective, must be guided by some definite knowledge. Even preven- tive treatment must rest on a careful diagnosis of the disease ; without this the end of all action will be disappointment and a beating of the air. We have spoken of prostitution as a disease. We wish to regard it as such. This is not to deny that it is a vice, or to be unwilling to visit it with the severest moral condemnation. No such con- 96 REVOLT AGAINST CHRISTIAN IDEAL demnation, indeed, can be too severe. But in all our discussions we have had to bear two things carefully in mind: first, that it is often impossible to decide how much guilt properly attaches to each of the partners in the act of illicit intercourse; or to decide, from a consideration of all the relevant circumstances, which (if either) is more sinned against than sinning. Secondly, no vice can be adequately treated merely by condemnation and punishment. We have to create the conditions in which the vicious practice will become progressively more difficult. We have to treat it as the physician would treat an epidemic, or rather an endemic disease. | In the psychological meaning of the word, prosti- tution 1 may be said to be the negation of relation- ship, but the fact that it exists as a problem of immense magnitude is sufficient demonstration of the truth that great numbers of men are either disposed to evade the difficulties of individual adaptation to their surroundings, or are still in a state of complete ignorance of the inestimable treasure that can be found only by following the more difficult path. One of the chief causes of this collective blindness is the repression of sexuality, which tends to divorce it from the highest concep- tion of love. As long as sexuality is regarded as a mere physiological urge, a kind of force majeure upon which the individuality cannot set its own reasonable seal, love, thus robbed of the very taproot of its energy, can only eke out an over- 1 We owe. this and the next two paragraphs to Dr. H. J. Baynes. a 97 RELATION OF THE SEXES spiritualised and unreal existence. ‘The deep instinc- tive sources.of its life are diverted into altogether unproductive channels, and the magical potency of desire is squandered upon objects whose chief attraction lies in the fact that they belong to a world where the principle of individual responsi- bility is denied. From this point of view it would not appear possible to suppress prostitution, since it is only a symptom of the disease, not the disease itself. “The remedy lies in a regeneration, or, rather, a fresh revelation of the principle of love. Analytical psychology, we have been reminded, would bestow supreme value upon the principle of individuation, because it appreciates the fact that only when the archaic and disruptive tendencies of repressed instinct are brought into co-ordinated relation with the long-range purposes of the indi- viduality as a whole, are they gradually transformed into effective and acceptable forms of human energy. We must not, however, overlook the attitude of those who in moments of frankness refuse to recog- mise any harm in resort to prostitutes. “I am not allowed to marry,” we hear it said: ‘“‘ why may I not have in other ways what my nature demands, and what in other circumstances I could obtain without any blame at all? I do no one any wrong. My partner is willing and even anxious to receive what I offer her in payment for the service she renders me.” ‘The very confidence and daring with which this argument is often put forward sometimes paralyses opposition. Or it may be urged by the woman, ‘“‘ He wants what I can give him, I want 98 REVOLT AGAINST CHRISTIAN IDEAL what he can give me. Why interfere with the transaction?’’ ‘The whole of our Report is really an answer to these questions. But we may here sum it up by saying that, quite apart from the physical dangers of disease, and the moral dangers of irresponsible self-indulgence (in both of which society as a whole, and quite innocent members of society, are concerned) no one has a right to demand, or to give, mere sensual gratification; and that, further, to do this, and to turn the symbol of the deepest affection into a matter of cold and com- mercial bargaining, is a degradation from which _ neither the symbol nor the thing symbolised can ever recover. ‘Ihe transaction may give satisfac- tion, for the time, to both; but it confers on both the deepest injury, and therefore ought never to be carried out. 2. The meaning of prostitution.—First, however, we must point out that the word prostitution needs definition, as it is often confused with marriage for money, with free love, and other temporary unions. We regard prostitution for the purpose of this section as being the giving or the receiving of the body in indiscriminate promiscuity for sale or payment under conditions of emotional indifference. A complication, however, arises at this point from the woman who has been called the “‘ amateur prostitute.” Here we have to do with a “ border line”? case; a woman who does not technically fall under our definition, because (a) she does not necessarily ask for a cash payment, and (b) she probably inspires, and feels, some emotion. She 99 RELATION OF THE SEXES receives her “‘ payment ” in opportunities for pleasure and in gifts and luxuries of various kinds. She drifts from one amour to another, a continual source of temptation and ruin; perhaps becoming in the end a prostitute, and largely responsible for the seduction of boys and young men who, after coming under such influences as hers, lose the self- respect they had and turn to prostitutes. ‘To this grave social danger, what we say below on the sub- ject of self-control is directly applicable; and if we can lessen the scope of prostitution, we may hope that the problem of this semi-prostitution will | be simplified. At the same time, if we can lessen the amount of this semi-prostitution, we shall do much to diminish prostitution itself. And the amount can certainly be lessened, if we take care that young persons of both sexes are provided with healthy and natural interests and amusements and even hobbies. It is the unoccupied house which the evil spirit can most easily enter. It is not feasible to regard prostitution in itself as a legal crime; it is a vice. It consists of the mutual action of two parties, and this fact must be steadily borne in mind in any consideration of the subject. ‘This mutual action, carried out on a commercial basis, shows that prostitution is a matter of demand and supply.1 With reference to demand it must be observed : | (a2) That male continence has not been required either by tradition or public opinion. Little or no 1 Full details of this aspect of prostitution are given by A. Flexner in the section of his Prostitution in Europe which bears this title. 100 REVOLT AGAINST CHRISTIAN IDEAL social inhibition has been brought to bear on men. In saying this we do not wish to make comparisons between the morality of the two sexes. No asser- tions can be made about the relative strength of “* sexuality in men and women. Sexuality, what- ever its original strength, has been modified by a thousand influences acting on one or other of the sexes as a whole in human society, and by influences acting on members of one or other sex in different generations, races, classes. What we are here con- sidering is the fact that almost throughout human society a large number of men will give money, and a much smaller proportion of women will take it, or seek it, as a reward for promiscuous intercourse. (b) That the male impulse is capable of restraint through the moral cultivation of self-control. (c) ‘That impulse, undeterred by social inhibitions, gathers intensity and readily lends itself to artificial stimulation, with the result that we regard as normal an aggravated sex-instinct in men which is largely due to bad public opinion, suggestion and artificial stimulation. (d) That recent investigations, as in Col. Ashburn’s Report,! show that character, religion, love, loyalty and self-respect are the main factors in inducing men to remain chaste. The second of these statements will, in some quarters, be gravely questioned. ‘To this we shall return later. Further, in reference to supply, the factors which 1 See Social Hygiene Programme of the Army: Percy M. Ashburn, Col. Medical Dept., U.S.A., ‘‘ Social Hygiene,” Jan. 1921. IOI RELATION OF THE SEXES drive normal woman into paid prostitution are, mainly : (a) Bad or unhappy homes. (4) Unprotected youth. (c) Desire for money. (d) Desire for better clothes as a means of inspiring greater notice or respect. (e) Desire for change and excitement; or indo- lence and dislike for work. (f) The sense of disgrace and complete catastrophe which a girl is often made to feel keenly if she has - been seduced, or has had, or is going to have, an illegitimate child. Such disgrace often entails loss of employment and of character and induces general. despair. (g) The type of character which always tends to take the line of least resistance. (>) The desire for sexual indulgence in those who cannot properly be called defectives. The mentally or morally defective girl is a special problem, and she does not necessarily turn to prostitution. She may be an all-round bad citizen or she may be quite well-behaved. ‘The whole question of the sub-normal in both sexes needs special consideration, and should not be treated as a special phenomenon only found in relation to female prostitution. It is true that a noteworthy proportion of prosti- tutes under observation, or confined within institu- tions, is composed of feeble-minded women and girls. ‘hat there may be a close alliance between prostitution, feeble-mindedness and crime, is familiar to all who know anything of the inside of our prisons 102 REVOLT AGAINST CHRISTIAN IDEAL and reformatories. ‘The public care of defectives is of the greatest importance for our problem. But it does not offer the complete solution. The feeble- minded prostitute is often the woman to let herself be caught, or to come under observation. Many others escape both these fates without difficulty. The ultimate and most important cause for prosti- tution among women is that they can obtain money by it. The points of special interest then in regard to women are, first, how to prevent a girl sinking from one lapse, or occasional lapses, into actual prostitu- tion, and, secondly, if she does so sink, how to facilitate her return to a normal life. The chief problem involved in the first point is how to Christianise public opinion so that a girl is not pushed by a sense of irretrievable disgrace and loss of character into prostitution because she has had an illicit connection with a man. The second point is hardly less difficult, but one thing is clear. She will have infinitely more chance of rehabilitation if she has managed to escape being branded with the legal stigma of “‘ common prosti- tute.” As things are at present, the girl who finds herself in this position has generally few or no friends to give real help or protection to her, or to care about her reclamation. Both preventive and rescue work rest ultimately upon friendship, patience and sym- pathy. With some girls (verging doubtless on the abnormal) even these seem unavailing, but we would point out here that with the majority of girls, especially in the early stages of temptation, they 103 RELATION OF THE SEXES count for a very great deal indeed, and that the Church as a community of people founded on the spirit of friendship and patient, resolute love ought surely to be prepared to provide this protection for the girls in its midst. But it is indispensable also, in order to prevent women from becoming prostitutes, to attack the problem from the side of the “demand.” Men, indeed, we are reminded, are very often seduced by women; but in many other instances these women are the victims of the seduction of other . men. ‘The circle is vicious, but complete. Some- times the prostitute even lays herself out to ruin as many as possible in revenge for her own ruin. The other factors, apart from the demand of men, which cause women to become prostitutes, are practically identical with the factors which cause men to become fornicators, and the same means of legal protection, amelioration of the social environ- ment, and the teaching of good morals and good citizenship, should be employed with boys as with girls. But we would emphasise with the utmost distinctness here that a much more intelligible, definite and continuous teaching of morals and citizenship is needed than has ever yet been seriously attempted. We have omitted all detailed references to wages, bad housing and other evil social conditions. ‘This is not because they have no bearing on the subject of prostitution. On the contrary, they have a very serious bearing. Many a woman would normally hold out against the temptations of what we have called the ‘‘ demand” until declining wages and 104 REVOLT AGAINST CHRISTIAN IDEAL actual unemployment force her to look around for a new source of income, or some new need makes her desire an increase in the income she has, and her powers of resistance are sapped. And, with many women, bad housing conditions weaken and perhaps even destroy the sense of delicacy which is one of the most powerful preservatives. ‘The wonder is that so many women resist in spite of everything. No experienced person will underrate the value of an economic competency. But to secure this is not to destroy prostitution. Most women who enter prostitution do so between the ages of sixteen and twenty-one. We cannot suppose that industry under any conceivable conditions could offer young inexperienced girls a wage which could hope to compete with the rewards of youth- ful prostitutes. The elimination of prostitution means the elimination of willingness to pay for it. 3. The demand.—How is the demand to be lessened from the side of men? Can the sex- impulse be counteracted? If it is regarded as almost hopeless to expect continued self-control over long periods in the majority of men, can we look for an alternative to prostitution in universal early marriage? We have already laid stress on the necessity of making early marriage more possible than it is for many men and women at present. The condition attached to many situations that they can only be held by single men, however convenient to em- ployers, is wholly indefensible. It is, however, well recognised that marriage does 105 RELATION OF THE SEXES not necessarily prevent men from consorting with prostitutes. If marriages before the age of reason- able maturity of mind and character increased, it is possible that matrimonial infidelity would increase with them. The only other alternative is a change in our practical morality and public opinion, under which either the sex habits of women will approximate to those of men, or the sexual inhibitions of men will approximate to those of women. Even the former alternative would not be so brutalising to either sex as is prostitution. But even if there were any likelihood that the change would come about, few, if any, would seriously advocate it. It is on the latter that we wish to lay all possible emphasis; first, it is possible, and secondly, every effort must be put forward to achieve it. Not only from a religious, but from a scientific and human point of view, we are coming to recog- nise that the sex-impulse can in most cases be controlled by men as by women. As Flexner says, “‘ However strong sex-impulse may be, it is, like any other impulse, capable of restraint through the cultivation of inhibitions.” In those communities where illicit relations between the sexes are left without serious notice, women appear to indulge their passions primarily as men indulge theirs. ‘‘ But the moment that improved social or economic position brings woman under the range of more exacting ideals, she checks herself. ‘The social sanction is among women of the upper classes very generally powerful enough to 106 REVOLT AGAINST CHRISTIAN IDEAL reverse the animal engine.” ' If then the original strength of the sex-impulse has been curbed and restrained among women, why can it not be curbed among men? We are confident that this is possible, and in support of our belief would point to the changes wrought in the past hundred years. In the early novelists and generally throughout the eighteenth century it was assumed that no man possessed of proper virility could be left alone with a young woman without making an attempt upon her virtue ; seduction was as much countenanced as prostitution is to-day. The Victorian age, if it did not remedy male incontinence and intemperance, at least pro- foundly changed their character. ‘There are already plain signs that the general attitude of men towards prostitution is changing; and we believe that with energy and courage a social inhibition upon it could be speedily created. To say this is not to forget the need of resolution if success is to be gained. It is especially necessary that Christians should assist in every possible way the boys and young men of their neighbourhood to a healthy social life. It is not always realised how difficult is the position of a young man sent for the first time to live in lodgings near his work. He is often desperately lonely; when his hours in the office or the shop are over he has little or no oppor- tunity for harmless recreation; women fling them- selves across his path, and reinforce by their solici- tations the prompting of his own appetites. Under these conditions (and such cases exist in their 1 Op. cit. 107 RELATION OF THE SEXES thousands), without friends to help or interests to distract him, it is small wonder that he falls, and having fallen his struggle becomes incredibly more dificult. We recognise with gratitude the heroic and unrecorded efforts which countless youths and men are making to conquer and control their passions ; and we urge upon the Church the necessity for discovering and welcoming them, for creating club-rooms where they can meet members of the other sex, and for opening the homes of its adherents tothem. In this connection, too, we must emphasise _ the immense value, for both sexes, of the creation of healthy interests. Athletics, hobbies of all kinds, the various kinds of skilled craft taught to Boy Scouts and Girl Guides, especially when combined with personal friendship, will save many a mind from searching wistfully for amusement till it is at last found in sex. 4. Can the demand be lessened ?—The object of social inhibition applied to men should be to bring them, like women, under more exacting ideals. This cannot and ought not to be attempted by punishment or even by social ostracism. Public opinion will not achieve a higher morality by treat- ing prostitution by men with the same cruelty with which it has hitherto treated prostitution in women. Men have been and still are the victims, as well as the authors, of an utterly false and muddle-headed public opinion, of medical ignorance and prejudice resting upon a cynical disbelief in the possibilities of real continence, and of a cowardly lack of faith even inside the Christian Churches, which has prevented them from demanding from men, and 108 REVOLT AGAINST CHRISTIAN IDEAL steadily upholding before them, that standard of sex morality which has been demanded from women. If we accept the theory that the sex-impulse is controllable, and ought to be controlled, in both men and women, then the true method of bringing both sexes under the operation of a real social inhibition is to educate public opinion until this point of view is as widely accepted as is the present idea that prolonged continence is well-nigh impos- sible for most men. Let us here examine briefly what present public opinion is, and how it is possible to change it. We must guard against the assumption that, because a comparatively small group of men and women in all parts of the world believe in the possibility of male chastity and continence, that belief is widely held. If we take our own country, which is probably more advanced in this respect than any other, we may assert that prostitution is generally thought, even now, to be a social necessity if the chastity of most unmarried women, and the fidelity of married women, is to be preserved. ‘This view rests on real disbelief in the possibility and even in the desirability of long-continued control of the sex-impulse in men, although it has always taken for granted that such control will be exercised by most women. ‘This subject is now discussed in mines, in factories, in offices, in naval and military circles, in novels, in respectable homes of all classes, by both sexes together and separately; and by far the most widely accepted view is that, “ human nature being what it is,” it is practically impossible 109 RELATION OF THE SEXES to expect men to live as women are expected to live. . This is not to assert that the majority of men either in the army and navy, or in civil life, are predominantly vicious. A considerable amount of prostitution is the result of idleness and boredom. ‘To many men, leisure without some special interest to fill it means thinking about sex. And thinking easily leads to something more. ‘The preoccupation with sex which forms so deplorable a feature in the life of many native races in European dependencies | would seem to be the direct result of having no fighting nor hunting and but little work to do. For a vacant mind, sex will often provide the easiest and readiest means of amusement, and the spice of excitement, and even of danger, adds the rest. This, then, is the situation that we are facing. Before we can have any hope of materially reducing prostitution we must be quite certain that those who would so reduce it are themselves convinced that the demand for male chastity is practicable, and the ordinary men and women outside religious circles must be made to believe this as well. While recognising these facts we do not wish to draw a wholly dark picture. We thankfully observe that in the Universities and colleges, in the services, and among educated people generally, the attitude towards prostitution has greatly changed since a freer companionship between men and women of the same social status became possible, that fornica- tion is regarded with disgust by the majority of the educated members of the younger generation, and IIo REVOLT AGAINST CHRISTIAN IDEAL that much has already been accomplished towards a change of public opinion. 5. Ihe duty of the Church—If public opinion is to be educated, the Church has a clear duty. And the Church must begin by attacking prostitution from the side of demand. There is much besides this to be done; much that the Churches them- selves can do. As we have shown, every improve- ment in social and industrial conditions is also a step forward in the advance against prostitution. But the influencing of opinion is specifically the work of the Church; and if this is not done, little else that the Church can do will be of any avail. It is the continued and constant challenge to current wrong and immoral ideas which is needed. Such a challenge will provoke violent and bitter controversy. This is all to the good. Truth is great enough to prevail; it is the silent condonation of lies which produces a false public opinion. It is a most hopeful fact that the demand for chastity and continence is being voiced by men for themselves; and, in spite of current opinion, we are convinced that a by no means inconsiderable number of men, especially in this country, do accept and act upon the com- pulsion of a high moral standard. A still larger number of men never have any commerce with prostitutes. It does not follow that they are con- ventionally moral, but they do not enter into emotionally indifferent relations with paid women. These men may have other esthetic or ethical objec- tions to prostitution, but many of them have recog- nised—even if dimly—that it is shameful to buy or sell II! RELATION OF THE SEXES what should only be joyfully bestowed and received as a free gift. We believe that to take part in emotionally indifferent cash-sale prostitution causes feelings of shame and degradation to both the men and women concerned unless they are either par- ticularly insensitive and shameless or have become coarsened by their mode of life. If this is even partly true it gives us a hint as to one possible line of appeal against prostitution. Most men too are very responsive to appeals based on the cruelty of using women as prostitutes. ‘They can be made to realise the horror of the traffic in women which arises from the fact that it is a profit- able trade. We should try to make men see that because they have been willing from time to time to pay their 55., 10s. or 20s. to a woman for sex- relations, they have created, not only the prostitute, but the pimp, the brothel-keeper, the procurer, and the whole vile traffic which plies between Europe and South America, and from South America to the Far East—a traffic which is none the less slavery although the slaves may enter it of their own free will. Men probably resort to prostitution because, strange as it may seem, they think it less wrong than having intimate relations with respectable girls of their own class of life. ‘They will even argue thoughtlessly, that once a woman is outside the pale of decent society “‘ she is fair game.” On the whole, public opinion agrees with them in this because it accepts prostitution as a necessity. If the Christian Churches decline to do this, they must either accept some form of the “ open liaison,” I12 REVOLT AGAINST CHRISTIAN IDEAL involving two partners in the recognition of certain duties to society and to each other, as being a “moral- ised sexual outlet,” or they must stand fairly on a demand for chastity for both sexes outside marriage. The more we attack prostitution, the more likely we are to promote the illicit but non-commercial free union, unless we have some real, reasoned, intelligible and high-minded appeal which we can make to young people, showing them why they should abstain from such relations. 6. State provision—tIn addition to challenging inequality, the Church must oppose unremittingly all proposals which convey the idea that while male chastity may be desirable, it is not expected. ‘Thus any form of State provision of facilities for prostitu- tion, or advertisement or provision of facilities for self-disinfection, or ablution centres, must be fought. We may not always win; but the fight is educative in itself. The struggle, in this country at least, against the State provision of facilities for prostitution, which may be taken to include the State regulation of prostitution with a view to securing a healthy condition in all women allowed to ply their trade, may be said to be almost won. It is now generally admitted that no inspection can be effective. But we cannot entirely pass over the subject of venereal disease. It is admitted by all entitled to speak on the subject with authority that the main cause of venereal disease is promiscuous intercourse or prostitution; that there is no absolute preven- tion except continence; that a single exposure may result in infection; and that a large number of the I 113 RELATION OF THE SEXES sufferers from venereal disease are innocent persons, especially women and children. Medical science, however, has shown that “‘ a man who after exposure is thoroughly and promptly disinfected by disin- fectants of appropriate strength runs little risk of infection ”’ (Report of the Committee of Enquiry on Venereal Disease—the “ Trevethin Report,” 1923). For this reason, a strong plea has been made that the public should be liberally supplied with the means of self-disinfection. With the hope that if this is done, innocent persons might be protected | from suffering that is often disastrous, we have every sympathy; but the evidence in the document already quoted, as well as a large body of evidence available elsewhere, makes it clear that the chances that such disinfection will be at all widely effective are very remote; these disinfective methods simply offer a false security to most of those who would be likely to use them, and, instead of protecting from evil consequences, directly suggest what we hold to be evil conduct. Further, even if the statement, “ Though you cannot be continent, yet you can be clean,” were relatively true, it contains an assumption oie in the light of what we have already said, we regard as very dangerous. What we regard as imperatively necessary is the creation of a habit of continence and self-control; and to offer means of disinfection, with the promise of their success, is to make such a habit all but an impossibility. Nor by such a proceeding would anything be accomplished towards diminishing the incidence of prostitution; it would rather be increased thereby. ‘The cause of morality II4 REVOLT AGAINST CHRISTIAN IDEAL demands, not an annulment of evil consequences, but the cessation of the evil act, even if its conse- quences can be avoided. We fully admit that venereal disease, like every disease, must be attacked with all the skill and resolution which medical science can suggest or elicit, and we hold that the State should take whatever measures will defeat or lessen the disease, while the moral forces of the community should urge the claim and the possi- bility of continence. As to what those measures should be we cannot attempt to decide. We simply record our strong conviction that, on the evidence which is available, self-disinfection or even skilled disinfection cannot be considered, looked at from the point of view of a large civil community, to afford any promise of success; and that any measure which lessens the general likelihood of resistance to any temptation to vice must be very gravely scrutinised. There is one argument against the use of dis- infectants, however, whose use we do not recom- mend; namely, that disinfectants destroy the salutary fear of consequences. We do not believe that fear of consequences can rightly or safely be relied on. Our reasons are, first, because this fear is with many persons constitutionally weak. ‘The thought of a possible danger may even appeal to what may be called the sporting or gambling instinct. Secondly, it is impossible to predict with cer- tainty that the immoral acts will have painful consequences for those who perform them; and a merely possible or even probable contingency cannot, IIS RELATION OF THE SEXES with most persons, overcome a strong or passionate impulse. -* But what we desire to establish is not the mere unwillingness to perform the act, but a moral repudiation of it, a deliberate choice of continence for its own sake, and this can never be accomplished by the motive of fear. We do not deny that fear of consequences has its place in moral teaching. The choice of the good and the repudiation of the bad are quite consistent with a dread of the results of vice. But that dread can only be inculcated _ with safety, in the earlier stages of moral instruction, by assisting in the formation of a definite compre-~ hension and a definite loathing of the evil and everything connected with it, by which temptation, when it comes, will find itself anticipated and its force neutralised. To be satisfied with saying *¢ Avoid this, or you will suffer for it,” is to stimulate ingenuity to find a means by which the consequences can be avoided and the act enjoyed. 7. Preventive and rescue work.—We have made it clear in the foregoing pages that we place our chief hope on wise measures for the prevention of the demand. Attempts at cure can never touch the heart of the problem. But minds touched with the sympathy which shone in the life of Christ can never escape from the desire to rescue and restore. We believe that this sympathy, if it exerted its proper influence, would lead many more to seek to reclaim ‘‘ fallen men.’ ‘This, like so much that we have recommended, does not call for specialised training and knowledge, but only for resolute and high-minded friendliness whereby the redeeming 116 REVOLT AGAINST CHRISTIAN IDEAL grace of God is revealed to the sinner. Such a conception of rescue has already been applied, on a large and organised scale, to what has long been known as “rescue work” for “ fallen women.” It used to be considered that this work could best be done by getting hold of girls and women who had “gone wrong” and shutting them up in ‘homes ” where, with little or no grace or beauty, they were kept hard at work on laundry or other manual labour. But we are now coming to understand that freedom can only be given by a regime of freedom. The old-fashioned rescue home, which did indeed secure some magnificent results, and showed some splendid devotion, had the effect of turning the minds of many girls back to the dangerous light and colour and excitement from which they had been drawn. The rescue homes of the new type embody a wisdom and a daring un- known to the old. The girls are not put under restraint; they are not made to feel that they must atone by laborious and monotonous toil for the sins of the past. Occupation, of course, is found for them; but occupation which will give them economic security, the power to support themselves and their children (if there are any children), will be conferred, so that at least one temptation may be removed, the temptation which arises from poverty and fear of want. And, further, the occupation which is now provided is one which is itself capable of being felt as entirely interesting, and which is pervaded by the spirit of friendship and hope and trust; and a constant 117 RELATION OF THE SEXES appeal is made to honour, to purity and to self- control. } Such a work is one which might well attract the modern girl of education and gifts and a desire to be of use in the world in which God has placed her. Not every girl who has grown up with a sense of vocation would give herself to such a task as this. But we believe that many of the older women, who have long been thus engaged, are right when they feel that they need younger women to | carry on the work, women who have seen the vision of true and clean beauty in the world, who know the joy of a deep affection, and who are willing to undergo the necessary training in order that the gifts bestowed on them can be shared with others less fortunate, but capable by the grace of God of using those gifts, and passing, literally, from death to life. We hold that rescue work, so understood, can claim that the highest gifts should be devoted to it, and that it can urge with the fullest justi- fication the high argument of “ noblesse oblige.” In concluding this section we wish to emphasise our reference to the Divine grace. We have dis- cussed causes and effects in the preceding pages as if the problem were simply one of moral exhortation and training and social readjustment. And for such sympathy and exhortation, for social readjustment and training, the Church and the community are - responsible. But they do not act alone. Even when these factors have been absent, changes have come about which have forced the exclamation, “This is the grace of God.” And if, as we believe, purity is the design of God for His human creatures, 118 REVOLT AGAINST CHRISTIAN IDEAL to put these factors into operation is to arouse other and deeper forces, latent and often quite unsuspected, in men and women which will prove themselves potent allies in every endeavour to accomplish the Divine purpose. 8. Conclusions—To sum up. We base our hopes for the future chiefly on an appeal to both sexes, but especially to men, to exercise the capacity of self-control with which we believe them to be endowed. We have no faith in the legal regulation of prostitution; nor (save as a very subordinate measure) in the motive of fear. However deeply we deplore prostitution, we deprecate the indiscriminate condemnation of either the men or the women implicated init. ‘The forces of temptation are far too subtle to make such condemnation either useful or just. We believe that every effort must be made to assist and rescue both women and men who have fallen victims to prostitution, and to safeguard those who are in danger. This will be done, partly by removing tempta- tion as far as possible from our public and social life, and partly by personal association with the “tempted” and the “ fallen” (of both sexes) and the constant exertion of watchful care and friend- ship. This makes much greater demands on the zeal and self-denial of Christians than spasmodic public protests; but it will always be far more effective. Supply will cease when demand ceases. The appeal to men to cease to demand is to be based 11g RELATION OF THE SEXES on their sense of justice and fairness, to women, to society and to themselves; on their recognition of the consequences of “sin” to others, rather than to themselves; and their powers, hitherto largely unsuspected, of self-mastery. This appeal should be urged systematically in the school and from the platform and the pulpit. But it will be most effective when embodied in the frank and intimate friendship of men and women who have already obeyed the appeal, with others who are still wrestling with all the turbulence of Sex in our modern life. And this redemptive friendship, carried out in the name of Christ, it is surely the glory of the Christian Church to inspire, ~ to guide and to crown. CHAPTER IV MARRIAGE CHAPTER IV MARRIAGE 1. THe Ipeat or MarrIAGE So far we have considered love as the desire or emotion which draws two individuals together and finds its satisfaction in their continued inter- course. We believe that this intercourse, if love is to be worthy of its name, and certainly if love is to attain its height, must also be perma- nent. We have not considered as yet the man- ner in which society lays its seal on this inter- course, regulating its beginning and its continuance. This we now proceed to do. We pass from love, which is the private concern of two people, to marriage, which is the system by which that union is recognised and, so to speak, adopted by society for its own wider purposes. This will involve, among other things, the two important subjects : (a) the relation of parents to children, both as regards the production of children as the end of marriage, and the effect of the presence of children on the feeling of husband and wife to one another ; and (b) the value of the various judgments that have been held, and are held to-day, on marriage as a social institution. 1. The teaching of the New Testament.i—We begin 1 We owe this section to the Rev. W. F. Howard, M.A., B.D. 123 RELATION OF THE SEXES with a brief summary of the references to marriage in the New Testament. The words of Jesus on marriage, as on sex in general (Ch. IL., sec. 1), imply a definite background of Jewish thought and practice. Monogamy, though not explicitly commanded in any section of the Jewish law that has come down to us, had for generations been regarded as normal. But divorce was as definitely permitted, and, with the low views of womanhood taken by many of the Jewish authorities (loc. cit.), it is hardly matter for wonder that some of the rabbis gave a very free in- terpretation to the provision of Deut. xxiv. 1, by which a man might divorce his wife on the ground of “‘some unseemly thing” which he had found in her.t It is to the honour of the school of Shammai that they limited those words to their original meaning. But the school of Hillel, with which in other respects Jesus had so much more in common, explained them as meaning, if she had even spoiled his food; whilst R. Akiba allowed a man to put away his wife if he had found another more beautiful. It may well have been that these are unhappy examples of rabbinic exegesis, and that theory was far worse than practice. When we examine the direct teaching of Jesus, the crucial passages are those in which He sets forth His conception of marriage. A comparison of the Synoptic parallels (Matt. v. 32, Luke xvi. 18, Matt. xix. 9, Mark x. 11-12) brings out two im- portant points: (a) Mark preserves the saying which condemns the woman who deserts her husband 1 See F. C. Burkitt, The Gospel History and its Transmission, Pp.’ 99- 124 MARRIAGE to marry someone else, as well as the man who divorces his wife; (4) Matthew introduces into his version on each occasion an exception which Jesus allows to His universal ban upon divorce. The Marcan peculiarity has been suspected as a secondary addition, based on Roman law, since Jewish law did not admit of a woman’s divorce of her husband. But Professor Burkitt has shown good grounds for accepting this as a genuine reply by Jesus to a test question by the Pharisees, who had just such an instance in view, the desertion of Herod Philip by Herodias to marry Antipas. Jesus did not rail at Antipas. “‘ To Him the general relations of man and wife mattered more than the amours of this or that half-heathen princelet, and—what must have surprised and shocked His interlocutors —mattered more than the very words of this or that text out of the Pentateuch. His answer offered no palliation for Antipas and Herodias, but His emphatic insistence on the sanctity of marriage is based on the natural constitution of man as opposed to the regulations in the Mosaic law.” } The Matthzan exception has the appearance of an editorial gloss, added when the teaching of Jesus was codified to form the New Law, which in the Christian Church was needed to take the place which the Mosaic law held in Judaism.? Jesus was not concerned with legal enactments. He recognises that the ancient legislator in framing a national code, which could be enforced by stringent penalties, was bound to take into account the weak- nesses of human nature, and make provision for 1 Op. cit. 2 See Ch. IV., sec. 3. 125 RELATION OF THE SEXES practical needs rather than enunciate counsels of perfection. His aim, on the other hand, was to call back men’s thoughts to the Divine ideal, to create an atmosphere of thought and imagination for His disciples in which the passions which lead to divorce could no longer breathe. In the Pauline Epistles, where the writer has to deal with the very different and perplexing environ- ment of the Gentile world, the indissolubility of marriages already entered upon is enforced as the Lord’s direct command, even though one partner be an unbeliever, with this significant concession, that if the unbeliever deserts, the Christian partner is no longer to feel under bondage. Unless this situation should arise, the teaching of St. Paul would agree with that of 1 Peter iii. 1, that the unbelieving husband may be won by the devotion of the Chris- tian wife. The first letter to the Corinthians contains some perplexing teaching about marriage. St. Paul there appears to regard celibacy as the Christian ideal, and the married state merely as a necessary evil, a refuge from immorality. If this section stood alone (1 Cor. vii. I-17) we should have to acknowledge a grave departure from the teaching of Jesus. It is, however, clear that it belongs to that period of St. Paul’s ministry when the eschato- logical idea filled the future. “The time is shortened,” was his cry. But even within these narrow limits there is a striking freedom from a false asceticism. ‘The honourable relations of wedded life are conceded, as well as the equal claims of both man and wife. The apocalyptic expectation happily underwent considerable modi- 126 MARRIAGE fication in his later theology and in the later group of Epistles; the hesitation which shows itself in I Corinthians gives way to the noble statement of the relation of husband and wife in Eph. v. 22, 23. The subject is raised here to the exalted level of a spiritual relationship, where love is the bond, and a sacramental fellowship prefigures the union of Christ and His Church. Perhaps there is no region of life and conduct where the new Christian ethic rises so high above that of even the best heathen morality as in the ideal of the home and the family. The few and confessedly obscure passages in which divorce is referred to in the New Testament have naturally received exceptional attention from theologians. Language has been sometimes used about them which would imply that the only importance of marriage in the New Testament lay in the possibility and danger of its dissolution. The true significance of the references can only be understood if they are set against the background of deep and loyal spiritual affection already described. These references to divorce are dealt with further in sec. 3. But at this point some of our number wish to express a strong sense of the danger of substituting the letter for the spirit in dealing with the New Testament teaching on matters of sex. They feel that the traditional ecclesiastical view of marriage and divorce has been chiefly based on the study and exegesis of texts, not always rightly understood ; and that as a result there has been an increasing alienation of genuine Christian opinion from organised Christianity which it is impossible to contemplate with equanimity. They believe 127 RELATION OF THE SEXES that the uncompromising opposition to suggested reforms, offered in many ecclesiastical quarters, is based on what is really, though not consciously, neglect of the Christian principle of freedom ; and that as a result the influence of the Church has been gravely weakened in society as a whole, and in many circles where there is a deep sympathy with the spirit of Christ. It is no part of our task to discuss the general question of the authority of the Bible or of the Church; no one single view of authority is held by - all the members of our Commission. ‘The Roman Catholic section in particular holds that it is impos- sible to question or modify the explicit declarations of the Church. But all would agree that in the last resort Christian practice must be based on the teaching of our Lord as a whole, and that, rightly considered, this teaching is consistent and harmonious. 2. The Christian ideal—It will be enough for our present purpose to regard marriage in its existing formulation as embracing three constituent factors or elements, viz. the natural, the civil, and the personal. And we may adopt a definition under which all these three elements are com- bined, which lays down that marriage is a physical, legal, and moral union between man and woman, in complete community of life, involving normally the production of a family. ‘The final phrase, “involving normally the production of a family,” may require some explanation. It does not mean that when people marry they do so simply to produce a family, any more than it means that 128 MARRIAGE when they first fall in love they will necessarily think about the children that may come. Nor does it mean that marriages which, for various reasons, do not result in the birth of children may not be the source of deep satisfaction to the husband and wife, and of great benefit to the community. Nor, again, does it mean that it is the duty of married persons simply to bring children into existence, without recognising any responsibility for their nurture and education. It must be remembered that husband and wife form a family even if there are no children. But our statement does mean that in the absence of special considerations of age or physical ill-health, the married persons, if their marriage is to be in the highest sense successful from the physiological, the psychological and the ethical point of view, must be willing to have children and to give them the best possible care; and that any unwillingness based on selfish considerations and the desire to escape responsibilities, whether carried into effect by mechanical means or not, must be regarded as disloyalty to the proper spirit and intention of marriage. If it be agreed, then, that marriage contains elements which may be classed as natural, legal and personal, we have to ask what is the relative importance of each of these factors in the partner- ship. If we were to say that marriage, when cleared of all extraneous circumstances, reduces itself to an instrument for the production and maintenance of children, we should commit our- selves to a proposition which is at least clear. But K 129 RELATION OF THE SEXES in that case marriage, so conceived, would not only become of superior importance to any mar- riage which rests its worth on legal enactments, but also it would degrade the personal relationships of the two married persons to a mere means to an end; an end which is Nature’s, but not necessarily theirs, or, if theirs, then perhaps in an illusory fashion. If, on the other hand, we give the first place to marriage as a civil institution, we place it under positive law, and of all positive law it is true that, in Hooker’s words, ‘‘ the mutability of that end for which laws are made, maketh them also change- able.” And again, it must be insisted, with Hooker, that “ human laws are measures in respect of men whose actions they must direct ; howbeit such measures they are as have also their own rules to be measured by, which rules are two, the Law of God and the Law of Nature.” ‘That is to say, by this conception of marriage as a civil institu- tion we reduce it to something which is liable to vary with the changes in human law.! But if, in the third place, we give precedence to the personal element in marriage, then we do not necessarily deprive the other two of its elements of their just due. We make them subsidiary, indeed, and so reduce them to their proper place as means to an end, the end being the welfare of the con- tracting parties, viewed, not in abstraction from society, nature, or history, but in the fullness of their concrete relationship to their environment. 1 The wide variations in Marriage Laws which as a matter of fact are observed in various communities, ancient and modern, are referred to below in Appendix I. 130 MARRIAGE In describing what we consider to be the highest element in marriage as personal, we have anticipated our definition of the term Christian. Ifthe proper work of the Christian spirit in any community is to produce the activity of the highest type of per- sonality, then a marriage which rests on the func- tioning of such personalities is obviously Christian. And now all will fall into line. For such a marriage will ordinarily result in the production of children, and thus what we call the natural end of marriage will normally be secured; while further, in such a marriage, there will be nothing to prevent the laws of the State from receiving their proper recognition. The conception of marriage which we are now considering will not refuse the external seal placed on it by the State; for the State can demand nothing that it would be unwilling to render. But it will require what the State would never think of requiring; a warmth of affection, a deep mutual respect, a resolve to bear and forbear, to give and to take to the uttermost—the conscious- ness, as it were, of two streams which have become a single river—a state of mind which by its very depth must also be permanent. Such a state of mind will be its own authority. ‘Two persons who experience it can pronounce judgment on the act which proclaims them to be man and wife. Love, as we say, “‘is an unerring light,” and by this light alone can men properly exercise their powers of reason and moral judgment on a subject so complex and difficult as is marriage in a civilised community. Love, as we have endeavoured to describe it in a previous section, is an indispensable element in 131 RELATION OF THE SEXES that marriage which the Christian consciousness can contemplate as complete. It is necessary to insist on the truth that in each of the two lovers, love, when it is most real, is a joyful self-surrender to the underlying spiritual excellence recognised in the other person; and this self-surrender is also the highest self-realisation. It may be that to some persons, who have entered very deeply into the spirit of marriage, to talk thus of self-surrender and self-realisation may seem remote and unfamiliar. It is not for this reason less true or less important. Many have accom- plished this self-surrender who are entirely uncon- scious of it. But there is one characteristic of any married life worthy of the name, of which all who have reached it must be conscious. It is a life in which each of the partners (the word is significant) shares all that really delights or interests him with the other. It is not simply a sharing of ‘‘ bed and board.”” Nor does the partnership rise from the fact that the husband endows his wife with all his worldly goods—whatever he or she understands by the time-honoured phrase. Nothing which affects, repels or attracts the one can be unimportant to the other. Every like or dislike, every love or hate, in the one, will find or produce a correlative in the other. This will not mean, of course, that every taste or opinion or indisposition of the one will be automatically reproduced in the other. Many of the happiest marriages are said to be those of opposites. A wise couple will cherish and jealously preserve the individual gifts, characteristics and even idiosyncrasies that each brings to enrich the 132 i a MARRIAGE common life. But the very fact that they live a common life means that both of them, in effect, rule out of their vocabularies the word ‘‘ mine” and substitute the word “our.’? On the physical side, each will learn and understand and enter into the sexual rhythm of the other. The desire for intercourse will only be operative when it is mutual. In their mental life each may carry on a score of activities in which the other cannot actively co- operate. But neither would consent that one should be in any sense excluded from what is of value to the other. And both will be or become at one in the opinions and beliefs that are felt to be vital. Already, in a true marriage, the “one soul understands the great Word which makes all things new.” ‘*QOn, the new stream rolls, whatever rocks obstruct.” Thus, in the natural order, the first end of marriage is the production and rearing of children. Civil life, or social convention, imposes upon marriage no new end, but regulates marriage only in the interests of what it considers to be the needs of society. As a man grows in self-reverence, self- knowledge and self-control, new and higher ends of marriage emerge, and the establishment of a family ceases to be the sole, or even in some cases the chief end of marriage, important as such a proceeding must always remain. Marriage which the Christian consciousness can regard as complete is the institution which recognises such a love as we have described—a love which for both husband and wife issues in what may well be termed the “worship ” of the beloved. 133 RELATION OF THE SEXES ‘“‘ Love took up the harp of Life and smote on all the chords with might ; Smote the chord of self, which, trembling, passed in music out of sight.” At its highest such a marriage will bring to the couple united by it a new understanding of the love of God and a new desire to bring that love into all their dealings with their fellows. ‘There is a danger for those whose outlook is limited to this world, that their marriage, however perfect the unity between them, may make them selfish and exclusive in their attitude towards others: selfish- ness a deux, or for a family, is not uncommon even’ when each member is personally altruistic. But marriage in the Christian sense, marriage which has as its end the fulfilment of God’s purpose, will not thus narrow its energies. Rather from their unique intimacy the partners will enter into a deeper under- standing of the place and power of love in life: they will appreciate and reverence as never before the men and women around them: knowing one another to a degree impossible in a less complete relationship, their knowledge will give them a new insight into and sympathy with human nature, and qualify them for the loving service which is the highest gift that any can bring to the common welfare. For in such a union the love of the one leads on to the love of the many and will enrich the whole life of mankind. 3. Physical expression of marriage and parent- hood.—If marriage be thus regarded, its charac- teristic physical expression will be in the true sense sacramental, an outward and visible sign of an 134 MARRIAGE inward and spiritual grace, the symbol and embodi- ment of wedded love, at once confirming and enriching the unity which it consummates. As a consequence it will only be carried out when both partners desire it: neither will wish to ask what the other is not prepared joyfully to give. The married relationship is at once physical and spiritual, and can only come to its fullness if the couple are one soul and one flesh. If the spiritual element is lacking, bodily union becomes a degradation. If the bodily is lacking, the spiritual can never reach its true completeness, and the marriage remains on the level of an intimate friendship. The Commission is in complete agreement so far. Its members differ in the emphasis they would lay upon the physical bond; and because the difference has a marked influence upon their attitude towards the control of conception it is well to express it plainly. Some of them are convinced that the full bliss of spiritual union cannot be attained when de- prived of its sacramental expression, that for most people abstinence either complete or for a long period depreciates the perfection of married life, and in very many cases results in a sense of almost intoler- able strain, in the waning of affection, and in the growth of irritabilities and suspicions or even of nervous disorder. While insisting upon the need for self-control they feel that those who share the daily intimacy of the home and glory in their love cannot rightly dispense with its most sacred expres- sion, and ought not to be required to do so except under conditions where this is absolutely unavoid- able. Others of our number cannot accept this 135 RELATION OF THE SEXES view. They believe that physical intercourse can safely be intermitted, when for other reasons this is desirable, for long periods, or even brought to an end; and that the spiritual union ought to be, and can be, strong and vital enough to continue un- impaired without this aid. The act which we agree to regard as the sacramen- tal expression of married love has for its primary, even if unconscious, end the procreation of the child: from it springs the fact of parenthood, the crowning glory . of marriage, the relationship in which man and wife find their love most richly fulfilled. In face of the united testimony of Scripture, the Church and the Christian conscience, it is unnecessary for us to stress at great length this supreme joy and privilege and responsibility. It is because men and women through the fact of sex have it in their power to share in the Divine activity, the creation of per- sonalities, that the effort to keep the sexual instinct pure and noble is so abundantly worthy of our fullest endeavour. We have tried to show that purity is precious for its own sake: it is doubly so, because to forfeit it involves an inevitable degrada- tion of parenthood and the visiting upon the children of the sins of their father and mother. For those who accept Christ’s teaching of the Fatherhood of God, it is plain that no human relationship will give a greater opportunity for entering into an under- standing of God’s nature and purpose than that of the home. There can be few fields of human life in which the fruits of the Spirit are more plainly seen than in the Christian family, few in which Christianity has wrought a nobler or more far- 136 MARRIAGE reaching change. To bring children into the world and to train them worthily remains the highest and holiest of all earthly callings. No Christian can contemplate marriage without an earnest desire that, should parenthood be physically possible, his union may be blessed with children. We have already drawn attention to the fact that the sense of responsibility for parenthood is becoming deeper and more general. Alongside of this goes a new appreciation of the worth and wonder of children, and a new comradeship be- tween them and their fathers and mothers. If in certain sections of the community the weakening of parental authority has produced unsatisfactory consequences, we believe that on the whole the passing of the iron discipline of two generations ago has been a benefit both to the child and its parents. In their family the married couple find a common and absorbing interest by which their passion for one another is transformed into an abiding partnership in the human activity which most nearly approaches the Divine. ‘The priest and the psychologist are at one in emphasising the supreme necessity of an attitude of responsibility. The solemnity of the marriage ceremony wakens the most potent images and touches the deepest chords in the human soul. Its effect is to quicken an attitude of sincerity and sacrifice, so that the ideal of reciprocal loyalty shall temper and govern the more primitive instinct of desire. The aim of love is not to repress and extinguish the joys and ardours of the animal instinct, but gradually to transform this instinct by constant and vigilant 137 RELATION OF THE SEXES adaptation into an expression that can be recon- ciled with the more differentiated aims of the individuality. 4. Education for marriage-——We have several. times pointed out in this Report that the true means for securing what is desirable in the relations between the sexes is right instruction and education. This is specially true when we are considering marriage. Marriage may not unfairly be called an art. And to carry through married life satisfac- torily generally means much wisdom, knowledge, patience and even long-continued practice. It will readily be admitted that two young people, just because they feel a strong affection for each other, or a deep desire to devote their lives to one another, cannot be expected to be aware of all the demands that this joint life will make on each of them in the immediate or the more distant future. On the subject matter and the manner of the instruction that should be given them there is less agreement. Many people indeed acquiesce in the thoughtless and vulgar habit of treating the whole subject as a jest in ordinary conversation, and never referring, unless when actually forced to do so, to its more serious and noble aspects—still less to its possi- bilities of failure and tragedy. It is small wonder, therefore, if marriage is often entered upon lightly and unadvisedly ; and if, when the crises of marriage arrive, those who have to face them are totally unprepared. We do not suggest that all the instruction that is needed must be given through the medium of the Christian Church. But we are convinced that 138 MARRIAGE the Church in this as in other matters must be prepared to lead the way, in considering both the nature of the instruction and the persons and seasons which will make it most appropriate and useful. We cannot leave the young people of to-day to find a reflection of their inner experiences in the average modern novel or film-drama, with the same average consequences. Even the common-sense philosophy offered by Robert Louis Stevenson in his Virginibus Puerisque leaves much to be added by the Christian teacher. When people are launched on the marriage state, the lack of a true ideal of marriage leaves them-’to become victims of the unknown difficulties and temptations that soon surround them. Only the rare few, under exceptional circumstances, can reach the new world without a knowledge of its existence, and without some indication of the direction in which it is to be sought. At present the Church too often confines its part in relation to marriage to a service of solemni- sation. It is surely a mistake that no practice is made of definite teaching in preparation for mar- riage. ‘To those whose marriage is truly “ made in heaven,” the service is the culmination of a process of preparation. Where there is no true preparation, the marriage service loses its meaning, and may even deceive the parties into thinking all is well. Under such circumstances it would not be unreason- able in the Church to decline to conduct a marriage service. For the Church cannot assure people that they are entering on a life of united bliss if the seeds of bliss have not been truly planted; nor is 139 RELATION OF THE SEXES there any promise that they will avoid the harvest of disaster if, in the union which the Church declares to be a consecrated union, the seeds of disaster are already observable, and if the persons are unaware of them, or have taken no precautions against their growth. A right, wise and Christian preparation for marriage will contain three elements: a knowledge of the physiological facts involved; a knowledge of one’s self and one’s character and how to deal | with it under the new circumstances that will arise; and a recognition of the beauty and worth of human love and of the grace and power of God thus poured into human life. We wish to emphasise first of all that teaching on all these three subjects should begin in early child- hood, and should not be postponed till marriage is imminent. Human love and human character are plants of gradual growth, and training that begins in infancy is not too early. If the relation of parents to one another and to their children has been thoroughly satisfactory, they will not need to tell their children much, and what is necessary will be told without difficulty. If this is not the case, the parents can help very little at this stage. ‘There are obvious difficulties in the way of the sort of confidence that is required. The young people ought to be told what difficulties to expect in marriage, and how to surmount them; as well as the joys by the way, and the fresh happi- nesses that spring up to replace those that inevitably fade. But to do this honestly would necessitate submitting to the criticisms of their children the 140 MARRIAGE secrets of a relationship which may or may not have been successful, and this parents could hardly be expected to do. On one point, however, parents are almost necessarily consulted, and that is, the length of the engagement. No general recommendation is possible, but one or two considerations may be put forward. For very young people a fairly long engagement may have great value in hindering precipitate and unsuitable marriages altogether, or in allowing time to adjust differences which might be critical later. But for long engagements to be a success, a very definite attitude of mind is necessary—regarding the time of waiting as a period of probation, cheer- fully accepted, under the tuition of mutual devotion. Where this attitude is lacking, the psychological and nervous strain may make long engagements most undesirable. Young people who have been so brought up that they have learned to come to terms with their own sexual natures will know along what lines of forbearance and self- restraint a long engagement must be steered. 5. Difficulties in married life——There are special difficulties, however, of which teaching must take account. For dealing with these, too, the parents will often be but inadequately equipped. A wise priest or minister who has long known the young people and enjoyed their confidence would be a very suitable person to talk to them now; or some friend of long experience with whom, as often happens, the young people can speak more frankly than with their own parents. Every religious 141 RELATION OF THE SEXES community ought to be able to lay its hands on one or more such instructors, to meet the needs of its younger members as they advance towards the age of marriage and expect their marriage to be blessed by the Church. The difficulties to which we refer are the fol- lowing : Passions embarrass the judgment at first by their vigour and insistence. They throw the relation- ship into proportions which later experience proves to be temporary. The permanent proportions are not easily discerned at the beginning. Embarrass- ment may be caused later on by the absence of these physical feelings. The Christian teacher will — show that this difficulty is to be plainly recognised and that those tumultuous feelings can be rightly used without their becoming dominant. Pre-marriage habits and traditions, which are left behind in the grand adventure of marriage, catch us up afterwards and threaten to disintegrate the new state before it is fully established. For men, as for women, marriage is usually a complete break with traditions, circumstances and relation- ships. It requires a high degree of loyalty to the marriage ideal to make those old influences serve the new state. They often destroy it, to the genuine surprise and dismay of husband and wife. A painful surprise is often experienced in the unexpected loneliness which meets the wife, and sometimes the husband, in early married life. The young wife is now regarded by her girl friends as on a different plane from themselves; and some- 142 MARRIAGE times the pressure and sometimes the absence of new duties shuts her off from the old occupations. Or the husband, naturally intent on building up a home for his wife, seems to her to be married to his business as well as to her. Some natures, in these circumstances, though full of warm affection, will easily begin to brood and mope, and the hus- band, wondering with whom the fault lies, his wife or himself, may be led by either theory into dissatisfaction and resentment. It is perhaps necessary to add that the tendencies to idealisation, natural to early love, should be watched. Neither bride nor bridegroom, probably, will be without faults, though these are both held in check and refused recognition by the generous emotions of affection. Later, they may break out again; and husband or wife will ask, “‘ Is it dis- illusion??? On the other hand, no young couple can be asked to take a calm and dispassionate survey of each other’s weaknesses, or even of their own. The safest way is to bid the young people lay to heart the need for mutual forbearance that will arise, for seeing faults in their due proportion to the larger and nobler qualities that nourish and are nourished by true conjugal love, and to remember that where love is, each esteems the other better than himself. These last words suggest that the teaching ensured by the Church must do more than deal with difh- culties. The constructive features of the marriage ideal, when truly set forth, lay hold on the soul and carry it through many a doubtful moment. St. Paul’s words, though not intended to apply specifically 143 RELATION OF THE SEXES to marriage, afford the best description of “ that serene and blessed mood” which must be joyfully cultivated if the possibilities of marriage are to be fulfilled: “‘ Be of the same mind, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind: living in harmony, with the same feeling of love, with one heart and soul, never acting for private ends or from vanity, but humbly considering each other the better, and each with an eye to the interests of the other as well as to his own. ‘Treat one another with the same spirit as you experience in Jesus . Christ’? (Phil. it. 2-5, Moffatt’s transl.). And nothing could be better fitted to preserve from the dangers of marriage, the contemplation of which, while necessary, should always be kept within strict limits. | The marriage of Christians, the young people should be reminded, is a product of faith. It must be progressively achieved and renewed. And such faith fulfils and justifies itself. ‘‘ My husband is as noble and generous a man as I have ever known.” “My wife is a paragon of gentleness and piety.” Observers may smile indulgently. But when these convictions are held as a resolute act of will by Christian people, they pass into the prayer that does not fail of its answer. The different branches of the Church have dif- ferent means and methods for invoking God and incorporating Him in the life of man. But all the branches unite to enjoin the practice of private and united prayer. They are agreed that life’s prize is not to be found in the selfish inclinations, but in the common goal of mankind. Married people cannot 144 MARRIAGE afford to neglect the unifying power of these central Christian truths. By instruction of this nature, young people can be prepared for the great task of the maintenance of marriage as a relation of ever-increasing affection and joy. ‘This task will be performed all the more successfully if all the real values of life should be discussed by the two lovers before marriage. ‘The marriage vows are the culmination of their hopes and prayers, and they look forward to a life lived according to their ideals. It is not till they have begun to settle down to the routine of family life that they perceive that life cannot always be lived at the same pitch; it is in translating their ideals into everyday facts that difficulties arise. In every part of life love requires careful handling. No fear of ridicule or misunderstanding should keep small details undiscussed; for the relief of sharing small business and domestic worries (often concealed through mistaken motives of unselfish- ness) may prevent the sowing of seeds of a deeper discontent. Portia must be Brutus’ wife, not the companion of his leisured hours alone. It is a mistake for husband and wife to become so absorbed in themselves and their family that they lose touch with outside interests and neglect to cultivate the precious gift of broad sympathy with their fellow-beings—a sympathy and love which spring from a happy home life and which they should willingly extend to others. On the other hand, they must remember that home life comes first, and that other interests must not occupy too great a part in their lives to the neglect of their L 145 RELATION OF THE SEXES parental and married duties. Christian love will surely find a happy mean in this problem according to the capabilities and character of the man and wife. It is fatal to think that after marriage all old friends and pre-marriage interests can be given up, for it is a negation of love to cut off what has once formed a large and valued part of one’s life. And if there are no or few outside interests, the children too will share in the loss. Some families exhibit an unhappy rivalry of loyalties. ‘The wife forgets, or is suspected of for- getting, her duty to her husband in her care of the _ children, or the husband transfers to his children the affection he used to lavish on his wife; or per- haps it 1s the children who are neglected as the parents strive to keep their married life one long courtship or honeymoon. Or the harmony of married life is broken by the intrusion of the relatives or friends of one of the married pair, which the other is apt to resent. All this may give rise to great suffering. It can be met by no simple state- ment, such as “it is all his fault, or hers.”’ ‘The fault, if fault there be, generally, like the suffering, belongs to both. The remedy lies deeper. It consists in remembering (see Chap. IV., p. 132) that married life is properly a partnership, in which husband and wife share everything that is of value or importance in each other’s minds. The husband understands something of the trials and the triumphs of the kitchen and the nursery, even as he can enter, in some sort, into the agonies and passionate hopes of child-bearing. ‘The wife can enter into the anxieties of the Board Room, the toil of the factory, or the 146 MARRIAGE joys of the cricket-field. The children are their children; the relatives are their relatives; the friends are their friends. In the normal home, as we have remarked, children forge the closest bonds of interest. Love of the parents for one another is increased by their joint efforts and sacrifices for the children. Too much of the care of the children is often left to the mother, through a mistaken idea that it is not the man’s work, or that the influence of the father will be needed later on. Much more is given to the children when the parents join together in their care of them; and the parents gain infinitely by sharing the responsibility. Another difficulty which frequently mars the happiness of the family is the disappointment of the parents in the nature and character of their children. Here a right understanding of the relationship, founded as it is on natural laws, is of great value. If parents face honestly the fact that the whole endowment of the children has come through them, since they have passed on to the children the bodily and mental characteristics con- served in themselves, they will study the children’s nature with sympathy and patience. They will recognise the aptitudes and limitations which they have handed on, and be slow to try and remodel their offspring upon some wholly impossible pattern. 6. The marriage of the unfit—There remains to be considered the case of those whose health or family record makes it likely that their children will be the victims of disease. This is a subject which has recently and rightly received much attention; for 147 RELATION OF THE SEXES the tragic ‘consequences of the marriage of the unfit are obvious to every social student and worker. The proposal that the State should definitely forbid the union of persons suffering from certain specific complaints or hereditary tendencies has won wide acceptance. It is unnecessary for us to examine in detail the various grounds on which individuals ought to feel that marriage, or at any rate parenthood, is impos- sible for them. But in reference to the demand that the State should interfere, we would urge that although at first sight the suggestion seems reason- able enough, further consideration reveals the fact that the question bristles with difficulties. Our knowledge is still very imperfect, and the views held on any particular point differ so much in different individuals that dogmatic statements are rarely justifiable. What is inherited is much more a make-up of constitution than definite disabilities or diseases, and even in the case of the few markedly hereditary diseases, some individuals always escape. Further, no one can tell beforehand what will be the result of the blend of parental characteristics : whether it will modify or intensify desirable or undesirable hereditary elements. But there are certain practical objections to legal restriction. Uniformity in decisions would be im- possible to secure, yet any want of uniformity would operate most unfairly and even cruelly. The with- holding of permission to marry would have to be confined to certain definite diseases, but the drawing up of such a list would be found nearly if not quite 148 MARRIAGE impossible, owing to the variation of opinion on the subject. ‘The co-operation of the person examined is, IN many instances, essential to a right diagnosis, and where this is wanting, as it would be, mistakes are bound to occur, as, for instance, in admissions to and exclusions from army service. The evidence before us inclines us to the view that the fostering of an increased sense of responsibility with regard to marriage would accomplish as much as or more than legal interference. ‘This sense of responsibility is in many people already very high. If there is any doubt in their minds whether marriage is for them permissible, they go to a doctor and discuss it with him. If the standard of the whole community were raised to this level, little more would be needed. To those who are perplexed about their duty we would only urge that no one accepting the Christian view of marriage will willingly incur the responsibility of bringing a child into the world when it is, humanly speaking, impossible that it can be physically or mentally untainted by disease. We are agreed that marriage is not forbidden by Christianity for a couple who, knowing that they will be childless, decide upon it. We disagree over the question whether those who on the ground of health know that they ought not to have children, are ever justified in entering the married state with the deliberate intention of preventing conception. But we would appeal most earnestly to such persons, with whose position we have the deepest sympathy, to weigh the matter fully and prayerfully, and to remember that the Christian life is based upon 149 RELATION OF THE SEXES sacrifice, and that it is their privilege to consider their future’in the light of God’s purpose not only for themselves but for His world. 2. LimITATION OF BIRTH WITHIN MARRIAGE We have tried hitherto to set out what we con- ceive to be the Christian attitude towards sex, an attitude which accepts the fact and instinct of sex as God-given and as capable of being fulfilled in the highest and most sacred of human relationships. » We hold that a right and ennobling use of this gift is alone consistent with a purity of soul expressed in chastity of life and consummated in the lifelong union of marriage, by which *‘ Founded in reason, loyal, just and pure, Relations dear and all the charities Of father, son and brother, first were known.” Such marriage normally issues in parenthood and the life of the family. Love, divine and human, necessarily creates; and it is in their children that the perfect oneness of husband and wife finds its peculiar achievement. We have already recognised that though the union of the sexes serves the primary purpose of procreation, it has been developed and enriched by mankind into the sacramental means whereby their spiritual oneness is symbolised and enhanced. ‘This secondary function cannot be disregarded and must not be condemned; for in the majority of cases at least it is through the unique intimacies of the physical bond not less than through spiritual devo- 150 MARRIAGE tion that married love comes to its perfection. It is in deep thankfulness that we acknowledge the sanctity which humanity has found in what was originally instinctive and self-centred. 1. The rise of the problem.—tt has always been recognised by Christians that marriage was valid and legitimate even when the age of the parties made parenthood impossible for them. ‘This recog- nition involves the belief that physical union is in itself legitimate where there is no thought of children as its result. If marriage is properly called a ‘sacrament of consolation,” its consummation is in itself the appropriate and rightful completion of love, and we are agreed that as such it exerts a powerful influence in the developing, intensifying and stabilising of mutual affection. Without it marriage ceases to be itself, and though it may naturally and properly be discontinued or sur- rendered for a time, it remains the particular symbol of wedded love. If this be granted we are at once confronted with a problem of the gravest importance arising out of two facts of comparatively recent origin. In the first place the pressure of economic conditions and the growing sense of responsibility for parenthood have led many married couples to face the question, ** How many children are we able to equip for life? ”’ The touching faith is still widely held in simple religious circles that God will fill the mouth which He sends. But for many equally religious and more thoughtful persons this faith is no longer possible. And indeed it might well lead to the most careless and improvident self-indulgence. Husbands and 151 RELATION OF THE SEXES wives realise as never before that they are them- selves directly fellow-workers with Him in their parenthood, and that they cannot merely follow their own instincts without regard for the rearing and education of their family. Although this desire not to have more children than parents can reasonably expect to bring up properly may sometimes spring from selfishness or lack of faith, the seriousness with which parental obligations are now being faced is in itself wholly for good. Christians who realise the sanctity and vocation of every child will agree that so great a trust as parenthood ought not to be lightly or thoughtlessly undertaken. In the second place, medical science has during the past century discovered and made familiar the use of various so-called “artificial”? methods by which conception can be avoided. Mankind has long believed (and Christians have often sanctioned the resulting practice) that conception was less likely to occur at the “ safe ’’ periods of the monthly cycle, though modern research has thrown grave doubt upon the very existence of such a period. The question, therefore, arises whether in Christian marriage a husband and wife who desire for laudable motives to limit the number of their family can make use of means other than complete abstinence. The problem of birth-control has thus become one of the urgent issues of the day. It has suddenly during the past few years received a large amount of attention from the Press; propaganda for and against it have been vigorously advertised; and public discussion has made it generally and even undesirably familiar. Its effect upon the whole 152 MARRIAGE sex-morality of mankind can hardly be over-stated. It is not too much to say that it has practically removed the fear of an unwanted child from among the factors which made for chastity, and has opened up the possibility of the lowering of the standard for women to the level of that of men. Christians will agree that the dread of “shame” and the punishment of the unmarried mother have never been worthy motives for chastity. But if these are to be dispensed with and at the same time a period of indulgence avoided, the need for the presentation of the Christian idea of purity in positive and glowing terms is obviously urgent. But, as we have already intimated, the question is not one simply for the vicious and the degraded. Young people contemplating marriage from the highest motives, and married couples whose lives are inspired by Christian devotion and ideals, are asking themselves whether this new instrument in the equipment of humanity is of God or of the devil, and whether they may accept it or not as a legitimate element in their lives. To put the case in concrete form: Christian doctors and ministers are often consulted by engaged or married people of whose purity there is no question, who say, ‘‘ We desire to make our married life a sacred thing: we know that it is only fully consummated in the coming of children : we want to realise and fulfil all the responsibilities of parenthood. But we are very fond of one another, and our intimacy means very much tous. For our children’s sake there ought to be an interval between their births and a limit to their number. Must our love 153 RELATION OF THE SEXES be denied expression except when we feel that a child can be worthily born? Or may we keep the use of what is to us the great sacrament of our marriage, using means when necessary to control conception?”’ As Christians we have to face such questions honestly and give not the second-best but the best in answer to them. Bearing in mind that the purpose of life is to glorify God and that in and through sex our questioners are to serve His purpose, what is to be our reply? The Commission is in agreement as to the Chris- tian ideal of marriage, and though differences of emphasis with regard to the relationship of the spiritual and physical exist between its members, these have hardly involved hitherto a clear diver- gence of opinion. At this point, however, such a divergence becomes manifest. Some of us, feeling that the secondary purpose of sexual intercourse, the expression of mutual love, can never be legiti- mately divorced from its primary end, procreation, feel that any restriction other than those caused by age or abstinence is destructive of the true character of marriage, and implies a lack of self- control and an unnatural interference with the proper functioning of sex. Others, though not less convinced of the importance of the primary end and of the necessity for self-control, maintain that the secondary is so valuable that we ought to welcome in the interests of married happiness and of wise parenthood scientific discoveries which have made both more easily obtainable. The Commission. desires to record with the deepest thankfulness the large measure of unanimity 154 MARRIAGE which it has reached on fundamental questions, and believes that the matter on which they now differ is solely the question whether conception-control is or is not in accordance with the Divine purpose for married life; but it feels that the issue is at once too urgent and too precise to be thus briefly dis- missed, and that it is bound to set out the argu- ments on each side at greater length, leaving it to the conscience of Christendom to weigh the evidence and in the light of the best knowledge to decide where the truth lies. Having failed to reach agree- ment, we believe that a plain statement of the alternatives will be more valuable than an attempt to construct a spurious compromise, and that it will at least stimulate thoughtful and reverent discussion of the subject, discussion of which we consider eminently desirable. 2. Statement of divergent views.——A. At the outset we would emphasise the fact that by very many Christians, the whole question is regarded as closed. ‘The primary end of marriage is held to be social, the propagation of the race. The sexual satisfaction of married persons is considered secondary and incidental, and can be sacrificed, not merely without injury to anyone, but in some cases to the great advantage of the married pair concerned. Any sacrifice of the primary end to the secondary is regarded as a perversion of nature reacting upon the individuals themselves morally and physically, and upon the race as a whole. Even if it be argued that man’s progress in the physical sphere has been won by learning to control and modify by artificial means the processes of 155 RELATION OF THE SEXES the natural order, they urge that none of the suggested parallels, such as the use of anesthetics or spectacles, are really satisfactory. For in most people there is a very genuine repugnance to the notion of letting a mechanical contrivance interfere with the most sacred and intimate of human func- tions. It is felt that the spiritual side of sex is overshadowed by such preoccupation with the material side, and that thus the whole relation suffers degradation. ‘The creative force of love is obscured : emphasis is laid on a merely dual relation turned in upon itself instead of issuing in the pro- duction of a new personality. The outcome of emotion at its height should be spontaneous, and any attempt by means of contraceptives to prepare for, or calculate upon it, would rob it of its beauty and spiritual value by introducing an element of constraint, and sometimes even of revulsion. Better the strain and effort of abstinence and the sublim- ation of the instinct to high purposes, they hold, than any debasing of the supreme expression of married love. Facilities for unrestrained sexual gratification, divorced from its results in childbirth, can only tend towards the enslavement of men and women to sexual desire, and a general weakening of character through loss of self-control. ‘They deprecate an easy solution of the problem, which, they feel, could never satisfy the highest aspirations of man’s nature; and they hold that the law which forbids the use of all contraceptives is a revelation to the individual of the law of his own being. Under no circumstances, whatever the risk, can such practices on the part of either husband or 156 MARRIAGE wife be permitted. The rule is simple and uncom- promising, and, certainly among Roman Catholics, it has the authority of the Church behind it. B. For many of those who do not hold that the use of contraceptives is absolutely forbidden by Scripture, and who do not accept the authority of ecclesiastical statements on the matter as final, the objections to birth-control nevertheless remain strong. They grant that there are certain cases in which the use of contraceptives appears to be in- evitable, but they feel that such cases must be dealt with as exceptional, just as dangerous drugs may be used under strict medical supervision, and that such a use of birth-control would be a concession to weakness. ‘They sympathise profoundly with those married couples upon whom the economic problem presses hardly, and while refusing to condemn them because they have adopted this means, they would urge them to realise that as the life of Christ grows in them they will gain an increasing power of self-control, and a vision of the married state in which such expedients find no place. They believe that with the increasing revelation of the purpose of God in sex which is so marked to-day, with the growing knowledge of the laws which govern the body, mankind, striving unceasingly to rise above present limitations, will by the grace of God obtain mastery of the complex instrument of human nature; and this, not by harmful repression, but in the attainment of that perfect freedom which is only to be found in harmony with the Divine purpose. They feel that this goal, which is surely the objective of all Christian people, will inevitably 157 RELATION OF THE SEXES be obscured by the advocacy of artificial methods of birth-control, and, further, that the moral fibre of the nation must be lowered by the elimination of self-control from the most intimate mutual experience of human life. They also contend that in this matter our respon- sibility towards all members of the family of God cannot be disregarded, and that a practice which is proved to be a temptation to sin for the unmarried (whom it is not possible to exclude from this know- . ledge), and the concession of which would destroy one great argument against immorality, must give Christian people cause to examine their conscience, | lest they “‘ make their brother to offend.” C. On the other hand, several members of the Commission are wholly opposed to this position. They maintain that the control of conception cannot be condemned as in itself wrong on any Christian ground, since physical acts cannot be judged apart from their motive; and that in very many cases the true end of life, the service of God and of one’s fellows, is best served by birth-control. While not disputing in any way the primary end of marriage, and laying the fullest stress upon the splendour of parenthood, they feel that this end - can best be secured if parenthood is made a respon- sible act, instead of a casual and often undesired consequence of union. Mankind has developed out of an animal appetite and function a secondary end, which is in the truest sense spiritual and sacra- mental, for married love is enhanced and confirmed by being given its appropriate and culminating expression. ‘To condemn young people sharing 158 MARRIAGE together the intimacies of home-life, and glorying in their affection for one another, to long periods of abstinence, or to enforce it upon those who for moral or physical reasons ought not to have more children, is to lay upon them a burden grievous to be borne. Abstinence puts a barrier between them, and subjects them to a continual strain which leads in many cases to irritability and friction and the waning of love, and in many others to consequences morally, psychically and physically deleterious, owing to the constant stimulation and subsequent non-satisfaction of the sexual impulses in the daily contacts of normal life. ‘The evil effects of such repression are more frequent than is generally supposed, since the true cause of disturbance is often quite unsuspected. That the use of contraceptives appears at first sight unzsthetic and may occasionally produce ill effects, they argue, does not counter-balance the fact that many educated Christian people use them without revulsion or harm, and secure thereby the enrichment of their married life. They deny that their use necessarily leads to loss of self-control: a new reverence for parenthood as well as a richer and more normal attitude towards sex are very general results of their employment. That there is anything unnatural or artificial in controlling conception is, they believe, simply un- true, unless man’s whole progress in the subjugation to his will of the processes of nature is to be con- demned. While it is right that every fresh develop- ment should be weighed and tested by the Christian conscience, and that the Church should reserve 159 RELATION OF THE SEXES judgment until the evidence can be fairly estimated, history reveals a multitude of cases in which prejudice rather than principle has been invoked against in- novations, and Christians, having at first resisted with violence and a most unchristian obscurantism, have been constrained in time to admit that their opposition was a sinning against light. They urge that the discovery of the possibility of controlling conception enlarges the power and responsibility of mankind. Like every other invention, from alcohol . to dynamite, it can be misused. But the evidence is now sufficient to demonstrate to any impartial mind that wholesale condemnation is unjustifiable. Modern economic and industrial conditions, which the efforts of the Churches seem powerless to alter within a reasonable time, inflict, they feel, in- tolerable hardships on innumerable women and children, hardships which the use of contraceptives would, in the opinion of many, at least mitigate to a large extent. They look to human conscience and reason, strengthened by the Spirit of Christ, to interpret and apply the essential principles of His teaching, in this as in other matters, in such a way as to secure the greatest possible number of loving, loyal and constant marriages, transfused with the ardour and the self-control of the Christian character. We have stated these three points of view briefly and positively, without lengthy examination of the practical arguments on either side; for funda- mentally they depend, we hold, upon differences of outlook and philosophy rather than upon details. Such questions as the respective effects upon health 160 MARRIAGE of abstinence and of the use of contraceptives, or of the relative values of different methods of control, could not be answered decisively. So also in the matter of too frequent pregnancies, while some experienced doctors regarded the danger to health as exaggerated and urged that under present con- ditions few educated women would suffer in this way, others pointed to the hardship in very numerous cases both for the mother and the children. Of the more practical considerations the most important is the condition of the poorer and ill- housed families, where overcrowding makes self- control and a sense of responsibility for parenthood almost impossible. Evidence of the tragedies of over-frequent motherhood, of the sufferings of wives and children, of infant mortality and disease, cannot be disregarded, or contemplated without compassion and horror. It is apparent that a very large number of working-class mothers look to birth- control as an effective means of preserving their self-respect and of fulfilling their ideal of parent- hood; and that ignorance of it is largely responsible for the widespread practice of abortion. Whatever be the attitude of its members towards the use of contraceptives, the Commission feels that the con- dition of affairs as revealed, ¢.g. in the volume Maternity,* calls for earnest and immediate action on the part of individuals, of local authorities and of the State. The Commission was unanimous in its conviction 1 Maternity. Letters from working women. Collected by the Women’s Co-operative Guild. (Preface by Rt. Hon. Herbert Samuel, M.P.) 1915. M 161 RELATION OF THE SEXES that the question of the advertisement and sale of contraceptives demands careful and official con- sideration. At present the trade in “rubber goods ”’ is little else than a direct incentive to immorality. And evidence is painfully frequent that it is being freely exploited among those who are least qualified to form a responsible opinion of its character. Boys and girls without experience of the glories or the shame of sex are incited by it to indulge their passions without restraint, because without the risk of being found out. The Christian ~ rule of chastity makes it impossible for us to acquiesce in the doctrine that personal behaviour, even if it has no directly anti-social effects and runs no risk of detection, lies outside the scope of society’s powers of interference; and in this case the damage done by immoral relationships to those involved in them, whatever the further consequences, endangers the whole welfare of the community. 3. Divorce Hitherto we have considered marriage as the common life of two persons whose devotion to each other is one with the devotion to all that is highest in human life; and resting, as we believe it often has rested, on a mystical union, which by its very nature is indissoluble. Probably there are few, even of the most happily married couples, who are conscious of this union through the unbroken length of their married lives. The human instrument, however fine and delicate, cannot always be keyed up to its highest pitch. 102 MARRIAGE However exalted and ideal the affection, there are moments in the rough contacts of actual life, its disappointments, anxieties, and misconceptions, when that affection is strained, and may even doubt its own supremacy and power; perhaps even its own existence. On the other hand, those who have ever felt the power of the union we have been describing, will know how it can tide over all such moments of doubt or disquiet; and in the realm of the spirit, to all who would attain an ideal, the reward of attainment is assured. 1. Can the State terminate marriage ?—We have now, however, to deal with the far larger number of persons who have not set such an ideal before them, and who could not easily be induced to do so. As it actually takes place every day, marriage is an agreement between two persons, conscious of more or less affection to one another, and generally influenced in addition by prudential considerations of some kind, to share their home and their fortunes, and to produce and bring up a family. Since this agreement has, or may have, to do with control over property, and with the coming into existence of new citizens for the State, the State takes cognis- ance of it, and so turns it into what is virtually a contract only to be annulled on conditions which the State itself lays down. Of any such test as the reality or depth of the affection of bride and bride- groom the State can take no account; but it can, and usually does, lay down certain conditions as to the persons allowed to marry each other, and the age at which marriage is permitted. The contract so formed is unique, in that it contemplates a much 163 RELATION OF THE SEXES wider set of actions than any other recognised contract; it vitally affects the interests of a third party, the child or children; and in Christendom at least, while it lasts, the formation of any similar agreement by either of the parties is forbidden. Further, the impulses which might lead one or both parties to wish to set it aside, though happily coming into operation with comparative rarity, may be peculiarly strong; while any general or frequent setting aside of such agreement is by most persons — felt to be particularly detrimental to the whole social order. Under what conditions, then, if any, may the State consent to the contract being regarded as non-existent? Ought it to be terminable at will if both parties consent? ‘The reasons stated in the last paragraph have generally been held to be decisive against this. Ought it then to be terminable only at the death of one of the parties? ‘This has often been held to be involved in the nature of marriage itself. Such a marriage as that described in the first section may certainly be said to be terminable only at death. We must weigh the elements of real hardship which are so often urged to-day. We do little service to the cause of marriage if we simply urge that these cannot be helped. We must understand them, sympathise with those who suffer from them, — and ask by what means they can be either remedied or prevented. To such a question, the simple and obvious answer is, ‘‘ Increase the facilities for divorce. Where marriage has failed, bring it to an end.” And whether 164 MARRIAGE legislation to effect this is probable in the near future or not, we must consider the demand for it. For arguments that may have little weight with legislators, beset by problems of every kind, may be full of importance for persons who would enter into the hopes, the anxieties and the despairs of their fellow-men, and who would bind up the broken- hearted and bid the oppressed go free. 2. Christianity and Divorce.—First, then, we must make clear in a few words what is meant by Divorce. Marriage being defined as entire community of life between two persons, the meaning of divorce naturally follows. It is the breaking of that com- munity. Divortium is the correlative of Consortium. In itself the word means nothing else, and any kind of breach may properly be so called. So understood, divorce is an inevitable incident in every society that possesses the institution of marriage. However strongly the duty of main- taining the common life may be asserted, circum- stances will arise in which the fulfilment of that duty is impossible, and no man can be held morally bound to perform an impossibility. Almost every system of law known among civilised men recognises this inevitability, and makes some attempt to regulate its consequences. But even where there is no Divorce Law, as in the State of South Carolina, divorces occur, either by mutual consent of the parties or by the arbitrary action of one of them. Even the Christian Church, while maintaining in principle the evangelic prohibition of divorce, has 165 RELATION OF THE SEXES always recognised it as unavoidable, and therefore to be tolerated in particular cases. The fully developed Canon Law has made definite provision for it under the control of ecclesiastical tribunals.1 We now turn from this aspect of the subject to ask what should be the attitude of Christian people to divorce at the present time. Any consideration of this question must of course start from a study of the references in the New Testament. We have already pointed out that the demands of the Church, . either for its own members or for society as a whole, were based on those references. But an intelligent study of the scriptural ground for all our faith and practice looks for something more than the simple quotation of texts which often sufficed for the theologians and canonists of the past. The New Testament references to divorce are set forth in section1. ‘Their uncompromising character is plain enough, even though it may seem slightly mitigated by the “‘ Matthzan exception ” and the “* Pauline privilege.” Is the clause in St. Matthew to be taken as a genuine word of our Lord or not? It is now pretty generally regarded by scholars as a footnote, either a Judaic glance at the Deuter- onomic rule about pre-nuptial unchastity, which is also referred to in Matt. i. 19, or an indication that Christians at the time of the final redaction of the Gospel did already treat post-nuptial unchastity as a ground for divorce. In any case we must dis- tinguish in all reverence between the authority of the Evangelist and the authority of our Lord. We must also remember that our Lord speaks, not as a 1 See Appendix I. 166 MARRIAGE juristic commentator on the Hebrew codes, but as the inspired teacher of the true ideal of conduct and of the Divine element in human life. The passage containing this clause has been constantly regarded, and is still regarded in many quarters, as a basis for the law both of the Church and of society. Our Lord’s supposed reference to fornication has been very widely held to imply a justification, for instance, for the present practice in our Divorce Courts, that if anything can be proved which puts husband or wife into com- promising relations, however brief, with a third party, a divorce can be claimed. We are, however, agreed, in the spirit of what has been said above, that the Christian appeal to the conscience of mankind must not be based on isolated texts, but on the whole spirit and principle of Christ’s life and teaching as seenin the Gospels. It is undeniable that in our Lord’s reported words there are far more references to spiritual intolerance and to callousness towards the desolate and oppressed than to sexual sin. The very passage about divorce is included among a group of arresting statements of principles ; turning the cheek to the smiter, and the like, which, while they have been recognised as principles, have never been obeyed as laws, or enforced on human society within or without the Church. We hold that our Lord’s sayings about divorce should take their place with these other statements, as principles on which to base individual action, but not as laws. Several of our number, at this point, would add that to lay so much stress on the mere outward observance of the marriage tie, and on its main- 167 RELATION OF THE SEXES tenance, when the whole spirit and reality of marriage has been lost, is really a matter of con- formity to social expediency along the line of least resistance. Christ’s words on divorce, they hold, as those words are reported, cannot rightly be deemed to be of such incontestable genuineness and authen- ticity as to be a suitable basis for any State legis- lation. No one, indeed, proposes to make His words, without the “ Matthzan exception,” a basis for law.1 It seems to many of us far more important . to lay stress on the great commandment, “‘ Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself,” and to follow its guidance even in the regulation of our divorce laws. We are, however, agreed that in the ideal Christian marriage there would be no divorce. When two persons are joined together in a whole- hearted surrender to their common good, no circumstance can arise to bring a divorce within the horizon of possibility. And where only one partner is conscious of such an affectionate loyalty, and is met by cruelty, desertion or open infidelity on the part of the other, this very loyalty and the desire to serve the other at all costs, and to do so in order to secure a corresponding loyalty and love, will surely prevent any serious wish for a divorce. So applied, the words of our Lord, as is often the case, are not simply a law, in the sense of a com- mand which may be neglected or broken; they are rather a law of nature, a principle which holds good of necessity. 1 Even the Roman Catholic Church allows divorce a2 mensa et toro on the ground of adultery. 168 MARRIAGE As a matter of fact, divorce is unknown to the great majority of the professed members or adherents of religious bodies. If separation has to be secured, as a protection from violence or suffering of other kinds, there will be no thought of re-marriage. 3. The demand for wider facilities—But what is to be said of those who, whether professing Christi- anity or not, enter into marriage without this exalted and, it must be confessed, rare idea of what marriage ought to be, and who, while respecting, as most people do, the ordinary standards of their society, profess no intention of following the specific rules of the Christian faith? Is the bond which unites all persons in marriage to be regarded as sacrosanct and unbreakable? ‘There is undeniably a very large and earnest demand that adultery should no longer be held to be the only valid reason for dissolving marriage. ‘This demand will be found very fully expressed in the report of the evidence given before the Divorce Commission of 1912. It cannot be denied that cases of hardship under our present law are both numerous and pitiable. We may feel little sympathy with either plaintiff or defendant in the majority of divorce cases reported in the newspapers; but all who have any wide experience of the life of the poorer classes, in either town or village, or indeed of the life of any large community, know of many instances where the brutality, or neglect, or crime, or cruelty of husband or wife causes prolonged misery to the partner who cannot get free, and, often in still greater degree, to the children. Judicial separation is often sought, and granted, as one means of escape from the 169 RELATION OF THE SEXES hardship; but judicial separation introduces evils and temptations of its own; and it frequently, in practice, fails to secure the protection it professes to afford. ‘Those who plead for a larger liberty of divorce point out that the maintenance of such marriages, which have lost everything but the name and the opportunity for inflicting distress, tends to lower the whole sanctity of marriage in the eyes of society, thus causing the very evil which it is intended to prevent ; and they ask why, if a marriage has lost everything which makes marriage valuable, it cannot be dissolved the more easily. They believe that to facilitate the dissolution of marriages — which are confessed failures would be to raise the in- stitution of marriage as a whole in public estimation. With this attitude several of our number are in strong sympathy. ‘They do not indeed desire that divorce should be made easy, and still less that anything should be done to facilitate carelessness in the granting of decrees. ‘They deprecate what is said to be the practice in many North American States, although they point out that it is impossible to argue from the United States to this country, because, while in North America every State has its own laws, the law in this country will always be one and the same for the whole population. But they urge the advisability of larger facilities on other grounds. They hold that positive law should meddle as little as possible with marriage. The function of law is to recognise the facts of Nature, and to make only such regulations about them as may be desired on the ground of social order; as, for example, in the matter of publicity, 170 MARRIAGE or of divorce. When, therefore, a marriage has ceased to be real, the State should not interfere to force upon it a fictitious persistence. Against the rigid view of the indissolubility of the marriage bond they adduce two main considerations : First, the difficulty of any clear and unmistakable ground on which the bond can be said to rest. It cannot be the mere consent of the parties concerned ; that would be too fragile to bind the whole married life in perpetuity. And if the consent be regarded as a contract to be enforced by the application of law, what law can create, law can destroy. The only case, then, they maintain, in which we can speak of an indissoluble bond is that of the marriage described in the previous section, marriage resting on love alone—on a love, that is, which is the self- surrendering power uniting two souls in a bond of mutual service. The second consideration which they urge is the tendency of all civilised countries to reject the bond as sacrosanct. It has resulted in the removal of the control of marriage from the hands of the Church. This, they assert, is all to the good. They do not hold that the union of man and woman should be free from a legally recognised declaration altogether ; but they would prefer the “ declarator ” of Scottish practice, so as to remove what they consider to be the mistaken idea that marriage is constituted by a civil or ecclesiastical ceremony. The usage of language is eloquent of the changes which are going on around us in the general attitude of men’s minds towards marriage. ‘The word “divorce,” in its traditional and technical I7!I RELATION OF THE SEXES sense, meant what we now call a judicial separation. But the word in its now popular sense means the complete dissolution of a marriage, with a conse- quent permission to enter into another marriage. The change in the meaning of the term is an index to a corresponding change in the general attitude to marriage. These members of the Commission further urge that procedure under the present law contents no one, and that to many the practice of the Divorce - Court is a matter of “‘ public violence.” The breaking up of a marriage is in any case a mis- fortune; it is treated as a crime. Unfortunate couples are compelled to disclose in a public Court, to a gloating public, those most intimate relations with which no Court is competent to deal. If one of the two breaks the marriage bond, the other can obtain relief. Ifthe marriage is doubly damned by both breaking it, they are forced to remain tied. Although there is an intelligible reason for this proviso, namely, the desire to prevent collusion, the result is little less than farcical. Further, as is well known, condonation is presumed unless action is taken within a specified time, which acts as a distinct deterrent to patience on the part of the injured party, since too great patience may be rewarded ultimately by a failure to obtain relief. The ends for which Marriage exists may, in a given case, be impossible of attainment, and yet the continuance of the marriage may be legally insisted upon. They claim, therefore, that those who have been driven to admit the necessity of allowing divorce under certain restrictions are also forced to the conclusion, either 172 ' MARRIAGE that we should return to the old Roman law, which allowed divorce by mutual consent, or that divorce should be obtainable on grounds which establish the impossibility of mutual harmony. Moreover, they hold that adultery, however grievous an offence, is not the only offence against marriage, perhaps not the most heinous offence; and a law which treats adultery as the prime sin against marriage is doing all that positive law can do to foster the idea that other sins in marriage are of relatively slight importance, and so to lower the general Christian standard of marriage. What- ever defeats the end of marriage, whether this be adultery, desertion, cruelty, or hopeless incompati- bility of character, should be frankly recognised as a ground of divorce. Finally, they hold that the function of the State is to safeguard as far as possible the rights of in- dividuals, with due regard to the interests and claims of the community; and it should not go beyond this, as it does when it compels two persons to remain tied together, though both are agreed in wishing to part company, and though there may be no children. When there are children, the case for maintaining marriage is infinitely stronger. Indeed, the interests of the children are so important, that not only the State, but the parents themselves are under the strongest obligations to make them paramount. This no doubt will best be fulfilled ordinarily by maintaining the marriage, at all events as long as the children are of an age requiring parental control. But sometimes the best interests of the children will be served by bringing the 173 RELATION OF THE SEXES marriage to.an end, and by putting the children under others better qualified to care for them. 4. The tindissolubtlity of marriage—This view, however, supported by the arguments which have been detailed, has been met with very resolute opposition in our discussions. ‘The position of its opponents can be stated somewhat more briefly ; but it is maintained with equal tenacity. Divorce, they argue, in the sense of dissolution of the bond of marriage, with freedom to contract another union, is in itself opposed to the primary end of © marriage, the procreation and the bringing up of children. Once children have been born in mar- riage, it is the duty of parents to bring them up, and educate them. But divorce, especially if followed by another legal marriage, must frustrate the primary purpose for which marriage was instituted. Any definition of marriage which allows unions to be dissolved at will, subject no doubt to State regulation as to legal methods, in reality hardly differs from concubinage. Concubinage, contrasted with mere promiscuous intercourse, is a union of man and wife outside the bond of marriage for a considerable period; but inasmuch as it can be terminated at will, it approximates to the idea of marriage which allows persons to enter into a contract which can be terminated, if not absolutely at will, at all events by committing an offence which will secure its legal dissolution. In all discussion of the hardship of indissoluble marriage, the ques- tion of the children is hardly ever alluded to. Yet in other aspects of life, people consider that parents are bound to make serious sacrifices for the well- 174 MARRIAGE being of their offspring. Strangely enough, when it comes to a question of securing liberty to forsake one union for another, the children are treated as a negligible quantity. The argument is stated in another way. Marriage is in its very nature indissoluble. When a marriage has taken place according to the laws of the Church, and has been duly consummated, the two persons have become, literally, one flesh. God has joined them together, and they cannot be torn asunder. What is thus done cannot be undone. A marriage cannot be brought to anend. To regard it as if it had not been is an act of violence to the nature of the married persons and to God. This, they hold, is clearly the teaching of every reference to marriage in the Scriptures, from the language of the primal institution of marriage as recorded in Genesis 11. to our Lord’s emphatic substantiation of those solemn words. ‘They, too, like their opponents, hold that our Lord was not issuing an arbitrary command when He forbade all re-marriage after divorce, as being equivalent to adultery. He was laying down a fundamental principle of abiding and necessary application. But the principle does not merely refer to those whose pure and self-surrendering marriage may be said to have been “made in heaven.” It refers to all valid marriages what- soever. To plead that any marriage should be capable, under any circumstances, of being followed by a re-marriage during the lifetime of the partner is thus a clear defiance of our Lord’s own words. Many of those who hold this view would not allow of the “‘ Matthzan exception”; for even if it can 175 RELATION OF THE SEXES plead some textual authority, it is clearly contrary, they point out, to the spirit of our Lord’s teaching, namely, that marriage creates a bond between two persons which nothing that either of them or anyone else can do is able to break. We have used the phrase, marriage contracted “according to the laws of the Church.” ‘This does not mean that the Church makes marriage anything that otherwise it could not be, for the language of Scripture refers to all marriage to which the term can properly be applied. It simply, as they urge, rules out a union within the prescribed degrees or liable to a verdict of nullity, owing to impotence, violence or some other recognised impediment. When, on this view, Christian marriage is spoken of as ‘‘ sacramental,”’ the meaning is that in the case of a Christian there is annexed to the natural institution some “‘ supernatural ” grace, and this simply because he is a Christian. ‘Thus, marriage contracted before conversion and baptism becomes sacramental at once after baptism. So entirely is this the case that a valid marriage contracted by a Christian in defiance of the rules of the Church is held to be as truly sacramental as one contracted with the full cere- monial of the Church. And even if only one party be Christian, the marriage is held to be sacramental for him or her. Those who hold this view are agreed that a marriage which, as contracted between baptised Christians, is sacramental may, to use a popular phrase, turn out to be a failure. Nor do they demand that persons once married must be forced always to live together. What is now in law termed 176 MARRIAGE a judicial separation may be a lamentable necessity. But there can be no re-marriage. It is not a question of guilt or innocence. It is a question of an act whose re-performance with someone else is an outrage on the nature of things, and on the laws and dispositions of God—an act, therefore, which can be countenanced by a Christian under no cir- cumstances whatever. ‘hey regretfully admit that evasions of the rule have from time to time been tolerated in certain sections of the Church: that the judicial process of nullity, for example, has not been sufficiently safeguarded against abuse by persons who resort to it in bad faith as a way of escape from an irksome marriage. But they do not allow that the existence of these abuses can justify a law directly permitting the marriage of divorced or separated persons. These conclusions are supported by other argu- ments of a different nature. ‘They lay stress on the dangers that threaten the social order as soon as the rule against re-marriage is relaxed. They point to the number of persons who, especially in the present period of moral and social laxity, take advantage of the legal facilities of divorce that are now permitted, and would gladly avail themselves of others, did they exist. ‘They call attention to the difficulty, already mentioned, of defining the degree of cruelty, the length of the period of desertion, the heinousness or brutality of the crime, the seriousness of mental deficiency, which is to be held to justify divorce. And they remind us that any extension of divorce means fresh possibilities of hardship to the weaker and more innocent party, N Ly RELATION OF THE SEXES and, more éspecially, a fresh instrument by which an ingenious husband can get rid of the wife of whom he is tired. f But these arguments are really, to their mind, secondary. If the State is to allow divorce, with re-marriage, for any reasons whatever, then, they urge, in the interests of social stability and decency, let those reasons be as few as possible. Members of the Roman Catholic Church hold that the eccle- siastical law is absolute, and that no compromise is . possible with a State that is not in complete agree- ment therewith. Many Anglicans take the same position. ‘They recognise that, as citizens, they are responsible for doing their part to affect or modify legislation, and, as such, they claim that experience shows that the more numerous are facilities, the more numerous will be the persons to use them, and the more serious the consequent weakening and dis- crediting of the institutions of marriage and the family. But, whether facilities are increased or not, they would refuse to perform, or to recognise as Christian or even valid, a proceeding that is contrary to what they consider the true nature of marriage. 5. A mediating view.—lIt is clear that between these two beliefs there can be no middle way. ‘To attempt a compromise would be useless. ‘To the former, divorce is a means—a regrettable means, no doubt, but still a legitimate means—for the elimina- tion of marriages that have ceased to be anything but a burden tothe married persons. ‘To the latter, divorce, in any sense save that of judicial separation, is not a means at all. And we recognise that this difference of principle which has divided us divides 178 MARRIAGE into two camps most people who are thinking seriously about the matter to-day. But we have also had before us what may be justly called a mediating view. ‘This view may best be stated as follows. ‘The Church has endeavoured, though with much weakness, and even shameful compromise, to embody in law the evangelic teaching about marriage. Weakness and compromise did not cease when full control was gained. In particular, the practice regarding impediments and dispensations afforded facilities for annulling marriages in ways sometimes disgraceful, and always open to chicane. The classic instance of Henry VIII illustrates the possibility of abuse. His grounds for wishing to be rid of Catherine were morally bad, but his case was technically good, and he had reasons for thinking that the refusal of the Roman Court to entertain his plea was determined by corrupt motives. The attempt to enforce an evangelic standard by legislation and juridical process has had unhappy results. The resumption of the legal control of marriage by the State is probably advantageous to religion. The Church should return to its original and proper function of teacher and guide. But one consequence must be squarely faced. As in earlier centuries, so now, there will be differences between the teaching of the Church and the prescriptions of law; differences that at some points may amount to direct antagonism. If, then, such an antagonism be accepted, it will be the duty of all good citizens, whatever they may hold about the law of the Church, to consider what may be determined by the State with most advantage and least risk for 179 RELATION OF THE SEXES those of its members, certainly the large majority, who repudiate the ecclesiastical law. 6. Ihe prevention of the demand for divorce.—But their difference does not block the way to co-opera- tion between the adherents of the above views. For the demand for a divorce, however we think of it, is a confession that the marriage has failed; that the two parties can no longer live together in loyalty and love. ‘The pressing duty of the members of the Christian Church is not to wait till the. marriage has turned out a failure and then to ask whether anything can be done to patch it up, but to forestall the failure by practical help, counsel and guidance. ‘This can be done, whatever be our views on the nature of divorce; and we take this oppor- tunity of deprecating very strongly the expenditure of energy in discussing this question (whose im- portance we do not for a moment belittle) to the neglect of the actual work of the protection of marriage and the prevention of disaster. We have already, in part, outlined our recom- mendation on this subject. If all that we suggest on the preparation for marriage were carried out, we believe that very many couples would be guarded, at the beginning of their life together, from mistakes and dangers which gradually lead to the melancholy conviction that life together is impossible. And if the maintenance of marriage were considered as a task which all married couples set themselves to perform in the way we have suggested, the rifts would often be quietly healed which otherwise would end in discord. Even open infidelity would be far less common; for in many instances it is not 180 MARRIAGE | primarily due to passion for some illicit object, but to the dissatisfaction or disillusionment or mis- understanding or sense of ennui which can, as we have shown, be prevented or, at least if attended to in time, overcome; but which, if left like a neglected disease, produces the disposition that is ready for adultery or fornication. Another aspect of this preventive activity has been put before us by an authority on Psycho- analysis (Dr. H. J. Baynes): “The aim of the physician is to serve life and not mere expediency. It is my experience that a very great number of unhappy relationships which otherwise would go to the Divorce Courts can be remedied with the help of analysis. A new attitude means a new relationship, and with sincere mutual effort a new attitude is always possible; but this condition is not always present. It is only very rarely that one finds such radical incompatibility of type and temperament that the differences are irreconcilable, and I am very certain that when, in days to come, the fundamental laws of life are more deeply and more generally recognised, there will be little reason to fear the decay of human society from the existence of reasonable facilities for divorce. No human being would readily forego the ideal of love if on every side he saw that ideal being carried through to reality instead of falling back into chaos.” We do not assert that all marriages would be rendered stable by the use of these suggestions. But we deprecate very strongly the view which some writers on the subject seem to imply, that married 181 RELATION OF THE SEXES couples are.everywhere waiting for a chance to get free from one another, and that they can only be kept together by being shown that escape is im- possible. With most people who get divorced, the desire for divorce is the last of a series of steps, many of which were taken unconsciously ; every one of which might have been prevented, or retraced, with wisdom and experienced advice. All the recommendations of that part of our Report are therefore recommendations for dealing directly with the problem of divorce. | We also hold that the existence of the marriage bond can itself be an aid to the permanence of matrimony. When divorce is easy, many persons may come to fancy that, for them, a divorce is inevit- able. When it is difficult there will be time for a calmer view to be taken. A marriage is not neces- sarily a failure because the transports of early affection have ceased, or even because the self- sacrificing love described in the previous section is no more, or never came into existence. In many instances, when husband and wife know that they must continue to live together, they will come to regard this necessity as not merely an infliction but as a duty; and not seldom the path of duty has led to a happiness previously thought to be unattainable. It is clear that most modern States, and among them this country, will continue to allow the re-marriage of divorced persons under certain cir- cumstances. We hold that it is the duty of all Christian people to help to form public opinion as to what those conditions should be. Most of us hold that even those who would refuse to have 182 MARRIAGE anything to do with the marriage of divorced persons, or to treat persons who have been re-married as Christians, must co-operate with their fellow- citizens in assisting the State to reach its proper end, which is social stability. We have not been able to discuss in detail the various circumstances which have been suggested as reasons for divorce. Some are convinced, as we have made clear, that in this matter the State must for its own sake keep to the strict limitations of ecclesiastical law. Others would agree, in the main, with the contentions of the Majority Report of the Commission on the Divorce Laws of 1912, and for the reasons therein set forth. But if the principle of modification is accepted (a step which several of us urgently deprecate, while others would welcome it), the details must be left to experts in law and in general social conditions. We are, however, at one with the great majority of persons in this country in holding that whatever reasons for divorce are admitted by the State should apply equally to men and women. We recognise that a sentence of judicial separation often becomes in practice a positive and cruel temptation to immorality. We believe that if the adultery of one party can justify a divorce in the eyes of the State, a divorce should be justified, a fortiori, when both parties are guilty. No risk of collusion can obscure this plain truth. We hold that much needs to be done in the reform of the procedure in Divorce Courts; and we believe that these Courts should exist primarily to assist people who are in difficulties with their married life to find some way of con- 183 RELATION OF THE SEXES ciliation, rather than, as now, to place a premium on the hopelessness of the quarrel. It has been suggested to us that the number of those who have recourse to the courts would be lessened if the judge had power to postpone the granting of the licence to re-marry ; and that further, in granting or withholding the licence, he should pay special attention to the interests of the children of the marriage, if there are any. It is true that even now there is a considerable interval before the decree, once made, can be confirmed; and the > suggestion would place upon the judge a responsi- bility from which the most experienced might shrink. But it is certainly possible that of those persons who look to the courts for relief and escape, a considerable number would hesitate if they knew that a further marriage might be impossible for several years. On the other hand, it is only night to point out that many couples, if they were thus debarred from marriage for some period after the granting of a divorce, would doubtless proceed to live together without any marriage ceremony. 7. Conclusions.—On certain points, then, we are divided. (1) The views held by members of the Com- mission range from the complete indissolubility of a marriage validly contracted to its dissolubility for any reason which makes the spiritual and physical partnership of married life impossible. (2) We differ as to the value of judicial separation as a substitute for divorce ; (3) As to the permissibility of Ba re-marriage of divorced persons, and 184 MARRIAGE (4) As to the competence of the Church to lay down laws for the guidance of the State with regard to marriage. Some of us, therefore, would wish to see the present facilities for divorce widely increased ; others would withdraw them altogether. But in spite of this cleavage, we are agreed (and we hold that the fact of our agreement is important) that (1) The Christian Churches could very largely lessen or prevent the present demand for divorce if they took care to instruct as many persons as possible who approach marriage, in the essential character and responsibility of marriage ; (2) That no religious ceremony of marriage should be performed when the two persons to be married do not understand the sanctity of the marriage bond or are not prepared for the far-reaching partnership and the self-surrendering loyalty which the Christian view of marriage entails ; (3) Some scheme should exist by which, in the pastoral work of the Church and the ministry, married couples, and especially young married couples, should be provided with the wise help in the maintenance of marriage that they may need. And if the Church is to render her due service to society as a whole, some provision should be made by which members of the Church could find ways of giving counsel and help to persons outside the Church before and after marriage. These measures may seem to many to be far removed from the practicable. We do not agree. We believe that the influence of the Christian 185 RELATION OF THE SEXES Church is far greater, if it is exerted vigorously and resolutely, than most people suppose; on a matter so vital as the sanctity of the marriage bond, the Church, in all its branches, can surely devote itself to the positive task of teaching and training indi- viduals and society in those convictions which are shared by all its members. The result, we are confident, would be to bring the ideal of marriage nearer than it has ever been before. 186 CONCLUSION CONCLUSION In closing our Report we append a brief summary of the views which we have endeavoured to present. We regard sex as a divine endowment of the human race, to be used, not to be feared. ‘The satisfaction that it yields may be amongst the highest that can be experienced by human beings, involving not only physical and emotional delight, but the further bliss (we use the word advisedly) of the mutual self-surrender of the married lovers, and the self- satisfying and self-realising joys of parenthood. In this way sex ministers to the highest moral and (for those who recognise it as a Divine gift) religious development of mankind. On the other hand, it may be abused in the service of selfishness, or of a physical enjoyment, that seeks and expects nothing else, resulting in a degrada- tion, either outside or within marriage, than which nothing in life is more deplorable. The true and proper joy of sex-life is thus, like all the gifts of God, an achievement. It is con- ditioned by the attitude of the recipient of the gift. For its fulfilment a price must be paid. That price is knowledge, self-control and devotion to the beloved object. For while men and women have loved and will love, purely and passionately, without any special instruction, yet, unless these elements 189 RELATION OF THE SEXES are at least’ implicitly present, affection will lose the spiritual character which alone makes it, properly speaking, human, and prevents it from falling beneath the level of the brute. Man is not an animal or something worse than an animal, he is either more than an animal or he is less. Thus, if a man would receive what in sex he is meant to have, he must ponder the words, “‘ Who chooseth me must give and hazard all he hath.” In this region of life, as indeed in every other, the - great law holds good, “* Die to live.’ For we can only find ourselves when we lose ourselves; only when we forget our own individual desires can we find that which we were meant to desire, and which can alone yield worthy and permanent satisfaction. We have recognised that this insistence on the spiritual character of all true sex relations is far removed from the sex-life of to-day, as it obtrudes itself upon us with the unbridled desire for self- indulgence, the repudiation of responsibility, and the resulting social and moral degradation which is so painfully familiar. Nor do we regard these phenomena as peculiar to our own generation. They have appeared in every age. But even if our contentions strike the reader as impracticable, we hold that they are true, and if they are true, the Christian Church, which is the custodian and champion of such truth, must urge them upon society. A truth is not less true or authoritative because it may be derided as Utopian. But we have pointed out that these convictions of ours cannot even now be called wholly Utopian. The high self-surrendering and self-sharing love 190 CONCLUSION does exist; there are marriages that approve them- selves to all as made in heaven; men can and do live without any thought of indulgence in prostitution. The ideal has been attained by multitudes through- out the Christian centuries. But can it be attained * by all? This is a question which we cannot and need not answer. We have stated our view that it can and will be attained by an increasing number, as the influence of a Christian society and a Christian training is deliberately and with intelligent sym- pathy brought to bear on the needs, the weaknesses, the capacities and the temptations of actual men and women, boys and girls. Until such a plan (certainly not beyond our present resources) has been seriously tried and found to be a failure, we hold that it is absurd to talk of impracticability. Even to teach it is to aid its carrying out, for unless we are greatly mistaken there is something in the human breast which responds to the challenge and only remains dormant when the challenge is not made. Our differences, which we have fully set forth, have been mainly concerned with three questions : the connection between marriage and the produc- tion of children; the limitation of conception ; and the permissibility of divorce. But these dif- ferences, considerable as they are, only accentuate the emphasis with which we unitedly affrm our common view of the essentially spiritual relation of husband and wife, and of the significance and glory of parenthood; nor have they affected our recommendations as to the educative and redemptive work which lies before the Churches. Ig! RELATION OF THE SEXES These recommendations distribute themselves as follows : 7 First, as regards individuals. Christian people must order their own lives, aiming at the complete self-control in passion and self-surrender in affection which, however difficult for others, they believe to be possible for themselves. Secondly, as regards the Churches, the action to be taken will be both educative and redemptive. The moral ideal of purity, combined with that. of personal responsibility, must be unhesitatingly maintained; there must be no concession to the doctrine that continence (or chastity outside mar- riage) is unattainable by the normal man or woman. Young people must be taught to regard such con- tinence as the natural thing for them, to admire it as a noble standard of life, and to think of marriage as the complete and beautiful and enduring union of two devoted lives. They must see that children and young people are trained in that knowledge of their own functions and capacities, physical and psychical, which is suitable for them as they grow from infancy to adult life, and are of an age to enter on marriage. And although there is some variety of opinion as to the amount of instruction that is advisable at various ages, there is, as we have shown, complete | agreement as to its character; and if the right attitude is present, we do not fear that serious mistakes will be made. Those who are in peril must be protected. By this we mean that a careful watch must be kept over all young people whose character or conduct 192 CONCLUSION may be endangered by impure conversation or acts, by the segregation of the sexes, and by direct or indirect solicitation from other persons, and we add that it is equally the duty of the Christian Churches to see that all who have succumbed to these perils should be sought out with all possible zeal and wisdom and if possible restored. It is not our duty to condemn; it is our duty to bring back to health of body and mind. Thirdly, as regards the duty of Society. ‘Temp- tations to impurity or licence must be removed. This will involve a long and carefully planned campaign against open facilities for vice and sugges- tions of an indecent nature, both in public and private. Some would include under this head the condemnation of all contraceptives; all would include the condemnation of contraceptives used with ignorance, carelessness, or for the purpose of mere self-indulgence. We urge the repeal of all laws that are felt to lay special burdens upon the woman; and we call for a determined struggle against all conditions, economic or social, which induce men and women to seek through sexual indulgence for a pleasure which they ought to be able to find in other ways. This sexual indulgence is often the result, at least in part, of the thwarting of desires, in them- selves perfectly legitimate, natural and commend- able, for relaxation and variety, for beauty and colour, and for the joy of self-expression. ‘The opportunities for satisfying these desires, abundant for some classes in the community, are conspicu- ously lacking for others. We hold that it is the Oo 193 RELATION OF THE SEXES duty of the more favoured members of society, and especially of the Christian Churches, in a spirit, not of condescension or patronage, but of pure friendliness and comradeship, to engage in the task of providing for others means for the healthy recreations and enjoyments, pursuits and occupa- tions, which they regard as necessary for themselves. We recognise that under present social conditions marriage and married parenthood are impossible for many individuals. We cannot, however, regard this fact as an excuse for extra-marital liaisons ; but we believe that persons who, for whatever reasons, cannot express themselves in the duties and responsibilities of married life can render an invaluable service to society by the re-direction of their capacities of affection and tenderness to quarters where such gifts are continuously needed. Some may think these recommendations common- place or jejune. They can only be said to be commonplace if by that word we mean what has often been urged but never seriously taken in hand. The cause of the evils in the relations between the sexes is not the obscurity of the prob- lem. In many of its aspects the problem is obscure enough; but the main elements in its solution, we believe, are clear. The difficulty does not lie in discovering what ought to be done. It does lie in the deep-seated and persistent suspicion that what- ever is done is doomed to failure, and, as a result of this, a general and widespread unwillingness to make any definite move. Many of our recommendations have been made before. They are now reinforced by the recog- 194 CONCLUSION nition that both biological and social science point definitely to their acceptance. They have been followed by individuals, some by one, some by others. They have never been taken up, all together, by the Christian Church as a whole. We believe that they come now with a new force, _as the common ground of a united endeavour. Once more, from widely separated groups, we affirm the Catholic Faith of the universal dominion of God—of the essential worth and glory of every part of human life in the Divine Fatherhood and in the life of the Son. ‘This faith inspires our vision, our confidence, our compulsion. Should it be given to our Report to be entertained seriously by the various religious organisations, so that the resources of each could be utilised for carrying out the several suggestions we have offered, we make bold to think that evils, deep-seated and apparently impregnable, will steadily be brought nearer to removal, and that the Spirit of God, holy and all- powerful, promised as the earnest of eternal life to the Church, will through the Church renew the face of human society, that the pure in heart may see God. Signed : | W. F. Lorruovuse (Chairman). E. M. Atcock. E. No&zt Barctay. Frorence E. Barrett. Emity C. Fortey. James Fraser. Lucy GARDNER. 195 RELATION OF THE SEXES » RicHENDA GILLETT. A. CuHarues E. Gray. A. Herspert GRAY. J. A. Haprrexp. Jesste E. Hrcson. C. B. S. Hopson. Dee ToKeEvt M. ApetarpeE Mortanp. Heten NewItt. Cuares E. Raven. W. B. Se sie. The members of the Commission who having co-operated in the preparation of the above Report attach their signatures, do so as individuals and in no way commit the Churches or Societies of which they are members. ‘The acceptance of the Report by a signatory denotes agreement with the general substance of the Report, but not necessarily with every detail. 196 APPENDICES APPENDIX I Tue History oF THE CANoN Law or MARRIAGE For the greater part of this Appendix we are indebted to the Rev. Canon T. A. Lacry REFERENCE has been made in the text of this Report to the Decrees of the Canon Law on the subject of Marriage. As these decrees are not readily available for all readers, and as some know- ledge of them is essential for a due appreciation of the whole position of marriage in relation to the State, we here offer a brief sketch of the history of the Canon Law on the subject. We have not thought it advisable to go further and present the history of the institution of marriage itself before the beginning of the Christian era. Information on this subject can easily be obtained. Marriage is an institution as widespread, and almost as multiform, as human society. Its origin is still debated among anthropologists ; but although some marriage customs among savage tribes seem to suggest that they are modifications of an original promiscuity, no society is known in which pro- miscuity, or indiscriminate mating, is actually practised to-day. 199 RELATION OF THE SEXES Polygamy, however, has been, and is, very widely practised. Indeed, monogamy as a marriage law may be said to be at present confined to Christen- dom. Islam limits the number of a man’s wives to four; in other societies the number is limited only by the services to be performed by the wives, or the husband’s power to support them. In practice this restriction, coupled with the rough numerical equality between the sexes, works out as a virtual monogamy for the larger number of families in a polygamous society; while in some cases a system of polyandry prevails, where several men—often brothers, or at least relatives of some kind—have married relations with one and the same woman. But it is also clear that, whatever the type of marriage in existence, its chief function is regarded as being the production of children, which the tribe or state will accept as its own members. The marriage laws of mankind, bewildering in their variety, cannot be understood unless it is recog- nised that human societies and groups tend to allow of the production of children only from individuals who stand in a definite and more or less permanent relation to each other. On this pre-eminent function of marriage, as an instrument for social stability, we venture to quote the words of the late Dr. W. H. R. Rivers: “‘ When the history of marriage has been fully traced out, it will almost certainly be found that its function as a regulator of descent, inheritance, and succession has played the chief part, and that its function in the regulation of sexual relations remained indefinite 200 APPENDIX I long after the institution had reached a high degree of definiteness as a regulator of other social relations. In other words, the primary and fundamental function of marriage is the determination of the place which each newly born individual is to take in the social structure of the community into which he or she is born ” (Melanesian Society, 1914, Vol. IT. p. 145). By the beginning of the Christian era the Roman Empire had come to exhibit laws and customs of extreme laxity in regard to marriage. With the general disappearance of the religious ceremony of “‘ Confarreatio,” marriage had become for Roman citizens a mere union of consent, terminable by divorce at the will of either party, and this ulti- mately became the law of the whole empire. In opposition to this licence, the Christian Church built up for its members, on the basis of scriptural texts, a rule of extreme strictness. ‘The significance of these texts, for the Church and for society, has been considered in the Report. It is sufficient to state here that St. Paul (1 Cor. vii. 10) put the rule bluntly as forbidding all divorce, with the addition that if divorce actually occurred, the parties must not consider themselves free to contract a new marriage. Yet he allowed one exception, in favour of a Christian from whom an unbelieving consort had separated. This became a permanent rule, under the name of privilegium Paulinum. Apart from this, there was the peremptory saying in the Gospel: “‘He who marries a divorced woman commits adultery ” (Matt. v. 32). In.the second century an even stricter rule was 20I RELATION OF THE SEXES professed. The apologist Athenagoras declared, in contrast with what St. Paul had said, that Christians regarded any second marriage, even after the death of a consort, as no more than “ specious adultery.” The Pastor of Hermas barely allows this as “ not a sin,” and also allows a man to divorce an obstinately adulterous wife, but only on condition that he is ready to take her back when penitent, so that he must on no account marry another. It was extremely difficult to enforce these rules in face of the general dissoluteness of manners, and in the third century we find Origen (Jn Matt., tom. 14) stating that some bishops occasionally allowed marriage after divorce. It was contrary to Scripture, he says, but was done not altogether unreasonably for the avoidance of worse evils. A century later, St. Basil the Great gives evidence of similar conces- sions in the East. In the West, St. Augustine suggested that the rule applied only to those who were married as Christians, for whom alone marriage was sacramental; but in this matter he had little following. The Christianisation of the Empire under Theo- dosius did little to improve matters. To amend the general practice of marriage by legislation was difficult, as Augustus had found in his zeal for a general reformation of manners, and the Christian Czsars were no more capable of it than their predecessors. ‘The cessation of open strife between the Church and the Empire tended rather to a lowering of the Christian standard, and the results were seen in the legislation of Justinian. Professing to put the laws of the Empire on a Christian footing, 202 APPENDIX I he effected only a compromise. For complete freedom of divorce was substituted a judicial pro- cess, and severe penalties were imposed on all who separated and contracted a new marriage without legal sanction; but the process was facile, and all who passed through it were free to marry. Some abuses were stopped, but the civil law was still in conflict with Christian teaching. The Church had a still more difficult task in dealing with the barbarians who swarmed over the Western Empire. Councils held in the Frankish kingdom tolerated or even sanctioned an extra- ordinary laxity of divorce and re-marriage. ‘The so-called Penitentiary of Theodore, an English document of the seventh or eighth century, allowed this in some cases for the most trivial cause. A decretal letter addressed by Gregory II of Rome to St. Boniface allowed a man whose wife was pre- vented by infirmity from rendering the marriage duty to take a second wife. In spite of these difficulties, the rather confused Canon 87 of the Council of Trullo (a.p. 692) fell back on the evangelical record, and, while tolerating by implication divorce which was not “ unreason- able,” pronounced adulterous any marriage of a divorced husband or wife. A “‘ reasonable ” divorce, in the sense of the Canon, has been usually under- stood to mean one decreed by a judge for a cause allowed by law. The Council, therefore, so far recognised the Imperial legislation, but forbade Christians to avail themselves of the legal right to marry after divorce. At a later period, not pre- cisely determined, the Eastern Church modified 203 RELATION OF THE SEXES this prohibition in practice, allowing marriage in particular cases at the discretion of the pastoral authority. So far the Christian regulation of marriage appears rather as a rule of moral conduct than as a prescription of law. By one of the obscurest transitions of history it changed its character. ‘The civil authorities throughout the Empire, and what- ever corresponded to them beyond its borders, abandoned the legal control of marriage, and the ecclesiastical authorities took charge. Simultane- ously, the pastoral rule of the Church was hardening into a legislative and judicial system. In both respects the change may be reckoned complete in the twelfth century. Thenceforward there was what could rightly be called Canon Law—Fus canonicum. A very complicated marriage law was thus built up on the basis of the evangelic teaching, the main features of which can be stated in bare summary as follows : (1) Impediments of various kinds were recognised, some of which rendered an ostensible marriage void, and the offspring illegitimate. In some cases dispensations were obtainable. ‘The spiritual courts consequently had a large and lucrative practice in suits of nullity. By a wise provision an irregular marriage was reckoned valid, and the issue legitimate, until a decree of nullity was actually pronounced. (2) Lhe contract of marriage depended on no ceremony or formality. The verbal agreement of the parties alone was necessary. ‘The doctrine of the Roman jurists that consensus facit matrimonium was fully accepted. Any evidence of the contract, 204 APPENDIX I and in some cases even a presumption, sufficed to establish the validity of a marriage. A_ public contracting at “the church door” was enjoined, under pain of spiritual censures, and without this a wife might lose her right of dowry; but a clandes- tine marriage was not the less valid for all other purposes. (3) Married persons were constrained by spiritual censures to live together “‘ in bed and board.” (4) After consummation a valid marriage could not be annulled or dissolved except in the one case, mentioned above, of the privilegium Paulinum. Before consummation it might be set aside in some rare cases. (5) Divorce by decree of a competent tribunal was allowed for the two causes of adultery and cruelty. The complete equality of husband and wife in this matter, indicated in the evangelic and apostolic teaching, was not maintained. In the Eastern Church divorced persons might receive special permission to marry. No such dispensation was allowed in the Western Church. (6) Natural children, born out of wedlock, were, with certain exceptions, legitimated by the sub- sequent marriage of their parents. This wise rule, however, was excluded from England by the contrary custom of the realm. So the Canon Law stood at the time when the English Church broke away from the Papacy. In consequence of that breach, the subsequent legis- lation of the Council of Trent, invalidating clan- destine marriages, did not apply to England. Almost all modern States have resumed from the 205 RELATION OF THE SEXES Church the legal control of marriage, but England was slow to move in that direction. The Canon Law of marriage continued in force, by the custom of the realm and the legislation of Henry VIII, and was administered with trifling modifications by the ecclesiastical courts, until Lord Hardwicke’s revolutionary Marriage Act of 1753 introduced an entirely new conception. Invalidating all marriages (except. those of Quakers and Jews) contracted without the rites of the Church, it engendered the idea that marriage is effected, not in the way of nature by the agreement of the parties, but in an artificial way by a ceremony, legal or religious. ‘This has deeply coloured all English thought on the subject, and all subsequent legislation. ‘The ecclesi- astical courts continued in function until the year 1857, but they administered a law differing in grave particulars from that which was nominally their concern. The Matrimonial Causes Act of that year marked the definite resumption by the State of the legal control of marriage by transferring divorce cases to the secular courts. It provided two different decrees, “ judicial separation,” which corresponds to the old canonical divorce, and “ dissolution of marriage,” which sets the parties legally free to contract a new union. Since that time the Canon Law has in this respect. ceased to have legal effect in England, and retains only the moral authority which it had in the first ages of the Church. It may be of interest to add some particulars concerning Scottish law, which offers some very significant and interesting departures from the 206 APPENDIX I provisions of the law of England. Ever since the Reformation period divorce has been treated as dissolving marriage completely and leaving both parties free to re-marry. ‘The State has recognised irregular or clandestine marriages as valid. The contracting of such a marriage is an offence only against Church discipline; and the canonical rule of the legitimisation of “ bastards” per consequens matrimonium, rejected in England till 1923, was retained in full force. At present, marriage in Scotland is legally completed by consent alone. “‘ A declaration of previous consent to marry, either verbally or in writing, where solemnly and deliber- ately made before witnesses, by parties under no legal disability, forms a valid marriage ” (Barclay, Digest of the Laws of Scotland, p. 622). ‘The grounds for divorce in Scotland are adultery and malicious desertion of four years’ endurance; this applies equally to the man and the woman. There is no restitution of conjugal rights, nor judicial separation, in Scottish law. It will thus be seen that English law has embodied a caution and severity unknown across the Border (in one respect its refusal to legitimise ‘‘ bastards”? going beyond even Canon Law); but whether it has by so doing secured a higher level of morality may be questioned. 207 APPENDIX II Nutuiry or MArriIAGE Two kinds of “just cause or impediment ” hindering the marriage of two particular persons are known to Canon Law. One kind makes their marriage only irregular and unlawful; the other kind, known as “ diriment,”’ invalidates it. After a marriage has been ostensibly contracted, if it is discovered that a diriment impediment existed, the contract can be declared null and void. But, as elsewhere noted, such a marriage is treated as valid until the nullity has been ascertained and declared by a competent authority. The greatest caution should be observed in calling such unions immoral. Not everything which is unlawful is also immoral, except in the very limited sense in which any disregard of law may be so reckoned. A crucial instance is afforded by the Royal Marriages Act. The late Duke of Cam- bridge was known to have contracted a marriage which was void under that Act, but nobody would think of saying that his relations with the lady concerned were immoral relations. ‘The same may be said, with a slight difference, of the relations between the Duke of Clarence, afterwards William 208 APPENDIX II IV, and Mrs. Jordan, whose children were fully recognised as his, one of them being without any scandal raised to the peerage. The following statement of the present rules of the Roman Canon Law under this head has been furnished by an excellent authority. It should be observed that the same diriment impediments, except the 7th and the 16th, were recognised by the English Ecclesiastical Courts down to the year 1857. Clandestinity was made a diriment impedi- ment, for some regions only, by a decree of the Council of Trent, which was not received by those courts; but a similar rule, even more stringent, was imposed in England by the Marriage Act of 1753: IMPEDIMENTS WHICH RENDER MARRIAGE INVALID BY THE Canon Law oF THE CATHOLIC CHURCH By Monsignor Provost W. F. Brown The following principles should be stated before setting out the impediments in detail : First. It is consent which makes marriage be- tween persons lawfully capable of marriage. Second. ‘Those about to contract marriage must at least know that it is a permanent union between man and woman for the procreation of children. Third. If those contracting marriage by a positive act of their will exclude matrimony itself, or all right to the mutual relations of marriage, or any essential quality of marriage, ¢.g. its unity or P 209 RELATION OF THE SEXES its indissodluble character, they would contract marriage invalidly, and still more if in the very contract of marriage they impose a condition which is contrary to the substance of marriage. Fourth. Ignorance of impediments does not destroy their effect, that is to say, they affect even those who are unaware of their existence. Impediments in detail which invalidate marriage. | (1) Error—{a) Of fact: as to the identity of the physical person. (b) Of law: ignorance con- cerning the very nature of matrimony. (2) Insanity at the time of marriage. | (3) Force and fear, that is, coercion used to compel consent to marriage. (4) Age. By the law of nature marriage is invalid before the use of reason. By ecclesiastical law a male cannot marry validly until over sixteen or a female until over fourteen. (5) Impotence, antecedent to marriage, and per- manent, which may be either absolute, or merely relative in respect to one person. (6) Ligamen. ‘This impediment consists in the inability of a person to proceed to another marriage so long as the bond of a previous marriage con- tinues to exist. ‘This bond can cease to exist in» cases where the Pauline privilege is allowed, viz. where one of two unbaptised legally married persons becomes a Christian and the other party either deserts or refuses to live together peacefully in the married state without contempt of religion; 210 APPENDIX II or where the marriage is dissolved by the Church because, although duly celebrated, it has never been consummated, or has been declared null because of an impediment discovered after the matrimonial ceremony. (7) A vow of chastity, and also the state of Holy Orders in the Church. (8) Difference of worship. ‘This means that no Catholic can validly marry an unbaptised person without a lawful dispensation from the Church. (9) Consanguinity. ‘This extends to every degree in the direct line, and to the third degree inclusive in the collateral line. (10) Affinity. This is relationship contracted by marriage. It extends to every degree in the direct line and to the second: degree inclusive in the collateral line. (11) Publica Honestas; that is, public decency. This is a juridical relationship arising from matri- mony invalidly contracted, or from public or notorious concubinage, and existing between one person and the blood relatives of another person with whom prior marriage was invalidly contracted, or with whom there was public concubinage. It extends to the first degree in the direct line and to the second in the collateral. (12) Spiritual relationship. ‘This exists between the person who baptises another, and the god- parents, on the one hand, and the person who was baptised on the other, and also between a person confirmed and the godparent at confirmation. (13) Legal relationship. This arises from formal «: 211 RELATION OF THE SEXES legal adoption, and is an impediment to valid mar- riage in countries where such adoption is a civil impediment to matrimony. (14) Rapius; that is, forcible abduction of a woman, or forcibly retaining her in the power of a man, in both cases with a view to marriage. (15) Crimen; the impediment of crime, arising (a) from adultery together with the promise or the attempt to marry, or (4) from the murder of a husband or a wife brought about by both parties, or (c) from adultery and murder of husband or wife contrived by one party. ) (16) Clandestinity. ‘This arises where marriage is not celebrated according to the form prescribed by the Church, e.g. without the presence of a duly authorised priest and two witnesses. In certain cases where marriage has been con- tracted invalidly on account of impediments it is possible for the marriage to be made valid by a subsequent act. ‘The defect may be such as can be remedied by the parties themselves contracting marriage as required by the law of the Church, or it may be necessary to seek a dispensation from an impediment which can be bestowed by the power of the Church. But it may be necessary, having regard to all the circumstances, or at least desirable, for a decree of nullity to be sought for from the Church. It is then obligatory to have recourse to the competent ecclesiastical authority; the case is heard judicially, and where the evidence is sufficient to establish moral certainty of the in- validity of the marriage, a decree of nullity is 212 APPENDIX II granted, and the bond of marriage, or technically the ligamen, ceases to exist. Divorce. Marriage between Christians, duly celebrated and consummated, is dissolved only by death. 213 RESOLUTIONS Basep on THE Forecoinc REPORT TO BE SUBMITTED TO THE CONFERENCE 1. That this Conference holds that it is the duty of the Christian Church to uphold before society the Christian standard of purity and the Christian ideal of love, as equally binding on both sexes; and to inspire the minds of men and women with the conviction that the functions of sex are the gift of God, and when rightly understood and carried out, contribute to the fulfilment of His Holy Will for mankind. 2. That this Conference is of opinion that every local religious community should recognise the responsibility of making provision that the young people whom it regards as committed to its care should receive adequate instruction in matters relating to sex, suitable to their age and circum- stances, and that this instruction should do justice both to the facts and to the religious significance of the functions of sex. 3. That careful and systematic provision should be made that the nature of Christian Marriage, with its possibilities and responsibilities, should be brought before all young people connected with the Church. 4. That opportunities for healthy recreation and enjoyment and interest should be available for all members of society; that it should be possible for young people of both sexes to enjoy social intercourse 214 RESOLUTIONS together otherwise than in the streets, over-crowded homes or undesirable places of entertainment ; and that it is the duty of the Christian Churches to support and, where necessary, to initiate movements directed to these ends. 5. That in the attempt to help those who have succumbed to temptation and who are at present treated as outcasts by society, the Christian Church should not rest satisfied with anything short of their complete restoration to normal social life; and that it should labour to remove the temptations to vice that exist in the social life of to-day. 6. That the Christian Church should unhesitat- ingly affirm the possibility and the duty of chastity, both for men and women. 7. That this Conference protests against all forms of regulation of Prostitution by the State. 215 Poa } I a ‘ an 7 PZ Si eit Ar Ay 1 tAy fs, rae faa’ > a9 as Lays ek Lae ' j ' i t iy, (Vive QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION (These questions have been prepared, partly to stimulate dis- cussion of the opinions expressed in the Report, partly to elicit facts bearing on the subject from the knowledge and experience of the members of the Circles.) I. CHAPTER I; Sections 1-4. Pp. 1-20. 1. How have the functions of the sexes been divided at different periods in history? 2. Discuss the merits of the Victorian view of the relation between the sexes. 3. What do you consider are the differences between men and women which are important for the educationist ? 4. What results are to be expected from a growing co-operation between men and women? 2. CuaptTer I; Sections 5-8. Pp. 20-37. 1. How may “ friendly fellowship ” be expected to help (a) the unmarried, (4) the married? 2. What dangers are involved in co-operation between the sexes, and how are they to be avoided? 3. What differences should be observed between the education of boys and of girls? 217 QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION 4. Have you any evidence bearing upon “ the special services ” which each sex can render to the other? (See Section 8, pp. 33 f.) 3. Cuapter II; Sections 1, 2, 3. Pp. 41-65. 1. What may be learned of the relation between the sexes from the accounts of the intercourse of Jesus with women? 2. Was St. Paul true to the spirit of Jesus in relation to women? 3. On what grounds, apart from authority, can the rule of chastity be maintained ? 4. Why have men been judged by a different standard from women? Is the difference defensible? 4. Cuapter II; Sections 4, 5. Pp. 65-82. 1. Do you consider it possible to render the repression of sex activities harmless ? 2. What are the outstanding principles of education in matters of sex? 3. How should curiosity about sex be dealt with, in (a) the child, (>) the adolescent? 4. What part should the Church be prepared to play in this education? 5. Cuapter III. Pp. 85-120. 1. How would you meet the statement that Christian monogamy is impracticable? 2. Is it justifiable to treat prostitution as a social disease? What is implied by this term and its use? 218 QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION 3. Is it safe to restrict the attack on prostitution to dealing with ** demand ” and neglecting “ supply ”? 4. What can be done by the State to diminish prostitution? 6. Cuapter IV; Section 1. Pp. 123-150. 1. Discuss the indissolubility of marriage on the ground of the New Testament references to marriage. 2. Ought marriage to be regarded as a civil institution? 3. How far is it possible to educate young persons for marriage? 4. What do you understand by the statement that marriage is a partnership? 7. Cuapter IV; Section 2. Pp. 150-162. (In discussing the following questions, the previous portions of the book should be borne in mind.) 1. Do you consider it true that marriage exists for parenthood? 2. How far may married love be expected to affect the pressure of the responsibilities of family life ? 3. Can the spiritual element in marriage render the physical expression unnecessary ? 4. How much importance should be assigned to the advice of a doctor in regard to the use of contraceptives ? 8. Cuapter IV; Section 3. Pp. 162-186, with Appendix I. I. Describe the varying attitudes of the Christian Church, or sections of it, with regard to divorce. 2. Why has judicial separation been felt to be an insufficient remedy ? 219 QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION 3. “To open the door to divorce is to encourage immorality.” Discuss this statement. 4. How far can the Christian Church lessen the demand for facilities for divorce? 9. GENERAL AND REcAPITULATORY QUESTIONS. 1. Discuss the relation of personal habits and characteristics (eating and drinking, physical exercise, temper, etc.) to healthy sex life. 2. Discuss the value of the work of the Housing Reformer, Temperance Reformer, School ‘Teacher, Member of Industrial Conciliation Board, and other social workers, in promoting social purity. 3. Discuss the provision of recreation rooms and dancing facilities in relation to social purity. What is the distinctive lesson of John viil. I-11? MADE AND PRINTED IN Great Britain. Ricyarpv Clay & Sons, LTD., PRINTERS, BuNGAY, SUFFOLK. * : a