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^:^Miil^ 
 
 The Work of Faith, the Labour of Love, and the 
 Patience of Hope, illustrated; 
 
 LIFE AND DEATH 
 
 I 
 
 OF THE y 
 
 REY. ANDREW FULLER. 
 
 LATE PASTOR OF THE 
 
 BAPTIST CHURCH AT KETTERING, 
 
 SECRETARY TO THE 
 
 BAPTIST MISSIONARY SOCIETY* 
 
 FROM ITS COMMENCEMENT, IN 1792. 
 
 JHIEFLY EXTRACTEI),yROM HIS OWN PAPERS 
 
 BY JOHN RYLAND, D.D. 
 
 charlestown: printed by samuel etheridge. 
 1818. 
 
DISTRICT OF MASSACHUSETTS, TO WIT ; 
 
 District Clerk's OJice. 
 (h. S ) ^.^ ^^ REMEMBERED, That ofi the seventh day of July, A. D. 
 ^ ' ^ eighteen hundred and eighteen, and in the fort} -third year of the 
 Independence of the United States of America, William ('ollier, of 
 the s^id District, has deposited in this Office the title of a book, the right 
 ■whereof he claims as proprietor, in the words following, to wit : 
 
 *' The Work of Faith, the Labour of Love, and the Patience of Hope, 
 illustrated ; in the Life and Death of the IJev Andrew Fuller, l;<te Pastor 
 of the Baptist Church at Kettering, and Secretary to the Baptist Mission- 
 ary Society, from its commencement, in 1792. Chiefly extracted from his 
 own Papers, by John Ryland, D. D." 
 
 In conformity to the act of the Congress of the United States, entitled, 
 *• An act for the encouragement of learning, by securing the copies of maps, 
 charts and books, to the authors and pi'oprietors of such copies, during the 
 times therem mentioned ;" and also to an act entitled, '* An Act supple- 
 mentary to an act, entitled, An Act for the encouragement of learning, by 
 securing the copies of maps, charts, and books, to the authors and pro- 
 prietors of such copies during the times therein mentioned : a\id extending 
 the benefits thereof to the arts of designing, engraving and etching histor- 
 ical and other prints." 
 
 T«TT-.T Mr r».,r,= f Chrk of the District 
 John W. Davis, ^ of Massachusetts. 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 Preface 
 
 CHAP. I. 
 
 Some Preliminary Remarks on the English Baptists— The Govern- 
 ment of their Churches — The Baptist Associations— General 
 and Particular Baptists — Rise of the Modern Question — Con- 
 troversy occasioned by it — State of our Churches about the year 
 177Q — Spread of False Calvinism among them, and other de- 
 nominations — A Check begun to be put to its progress - 1 
 
 CHAP. n. 
 
 Mr. Fuller's Birth and Parentage — Some Account of his Ancestors— 
 His own narrative of his Karly Heligious Impressions, and his 
 subsequent Conversion to God, with his entrance on the Work of 
 the Christian Ministry, and eaily Embarrassments respecting va- 
 rious Theological Controversies 4 
 
 CHAP. HI. 
 
 His Settlement as Pastor of the Church at Soham—The difficulties he 
 there encountered — His Removal thence, to Kettering — 1 he Ex- 
 ercises of his mind on that Occasion — An Accountof bis Settlement 
 at Kettering — His Statement of the lircumstances which induced 
 his Removal, and his Coafession of Faith. ^5 
 
it CONTENTS 
 
 CHAP. IV. 
 
 Extracts from his Private Diary, beginning June 3, 1780, and ending 
 
 January 10, 1782 - - - - 60 
 
 CHAP. V. 
 
 Extracts from a Diary kept after his removal to Kettering, beginning 
 April 11, 1784. - - - - 81 
 
 CHAP. VI. 
 
 An account of Mr, Fuller's various publications, both of a Polemical 
 and Practical Nature — His earnest concern to be led into the 
 Truth — A Solemn Covenant with God — Brief notices from his 
 Diary on this head — Remarks on some of his Works interspersed 
 wiih the Catalogue — Intinuation of unfinished remains - IIB 
 
 CHAP. VII. 
 
 Mr. Fuller's unwearied Exertions in behalf of the Baptist Missionary 
 Society — The I'.ise of that Society — Sending out of Messrs. 
 TIjomas and Carey — Specimens of Mr. Fuller's Correspondence 
 with the Missionaries — His Journles into Scotland; connected 
 with Observations on the State of Religion in that Country, and 
 the Sandemanian Controversy; Conversations with a Jew and 
 other Travellers, &c. - _ _ - i3§ 
 
 CHAP. VIII. 
 
 Extracts from Mr. Fuller's Correspondence, chiefly with the Au- 
 thor of these Memoirs for two and thirty Years ; tfrho, after ex- 
 amining more than 330 Letters which he had preserved, has 
 selected whatever might illustrate the Character of his Friend, 
 throw Light upon important Doctrines, or contain interesting 
 Facts -» - - - - - - 201 
 
CONTENTS t 
 
 Page 
 This Chapter contains, among other things. Observations relative to 
 the Modern Question — The llar«nony of Scripture Precepts, 
 Pi-ayers, and Promises— The Affliction of Mr. F.'s Correspond- 
 ent — Reference to Mr. F.'s Interview with Mr. Berridge — His 
 Correspondent's Removal to Bristol — Controversy with Mr. 
 Booth — -Observations on Philosophy and the Word of God — Ae- 
 eurate Account of his Preaching in Braybrook Church — Out- 
 lines of a Sermon to the Aged — Hints to Students — Nature of 
 Christ's Merits — Terrible Hailstorm — Hints relative to publish- 
 ing — Visit to Portsea — Visit to Ireland — Remarks on Mr. Walk- 
 er, of Dublin, and on Sandemanianism — Remarks on some of 
 the Eclectic Reviewers — Mr. Sutcliff's Illness and Dieath — Let- 
 ter to the Rev. Archibald M'Lean — Besides various other Ob- 
 servations interspersed. 
 
 CHAP. IX. 
 
 Mr. Fuller's first Marriage— -His Parental Affection— ^Account of his 
 first daughter Sarah — Mrs. Fuller's Illness and Death — Lines 
 written by himself, in Reference to that Event— His second Mar- 
 riage, to the Daughter of the Rev! William Coles, of whom some 
 Account is given in a Note— His Second Family — Domestic Com- 
 fort — Distress respecting his Eldest Son — Review of Trials and 
 Mercies — Account of his Second Daughter Sarah, in a Note — 
 Account of his Nephew, Joseph Fuller— Mr. Fuller's concern 
 for the Spiritual Welfare of more Distant Relatives and Friends 25;) 
 
 CHAP. X. 
 
 An Account of Mv. Fuller's Frame of Mind under various Personal 
 Afflictions, and in his last Illness and the immediate Approach 
 of Death — His last Letter to the Kditor— Account of his Funeral 
 —Extract from Mr. Toller's Sermon, &ce. - - 3i:i 
 
V) CONTENTS. 
 
 Page. 
 APPENDIX. 
 
 Containing, arnoiig other Articles, Conversations with Evangelical 
 Clergymen, on Establishments, Doctrine, &c. — Instance of Mr. 
 Fuller's Sound Judgment and Inflexible Integrity — Anecdotes— 
 
 His Originality His Appreciation of the Works of Art— Brief 
 
 History of the Baptist Church at Kettering— Hints as to Mr. 
 Fuller's Discharge of his Pastoral Duties ; in which is contained, 
 a Letter to one of his Members, against Antinomian Delusions 
 "--Inscription on a Tablet erected to his Memory - - 343 
 
PREFACE TO THE FIRST EDITION. 
 
 Ji<xPECTiNG very shortly to have all my springs of action 
 examined at the tribunal of an impartial Judp:e, I do not hes- 
 itate to profess, that I have undertaken this office, of i^ivin^ a 
 faithful representation of my dear departed Brother's life, not 
 under the influence of any wish to display mv skill as a wri- 
 ter of biography, nor yet to appear as a critic on his publica- 
 tions ; but with the hope of promoting pure and undefiled re- 
 ligion, founded on truly scriptural and evangelical principles : 
 and also with a desire of securing to the family of my b iloved 
 friend, the profits which may result from laying this sketch 
 of his history before the public. 
 
 Had I been able to persuade any one who could do more 
 justice to his character, to have undertaken the service, I would 
 have gladly resigned my office ; trusting that the talents of the 
 writer would have added to the usefulness of the publication ; 
 ■while I should willingly have subserved the undertaking, 
 without being known to have had a share in the compilation. 
 But, not being able to prevail in this request, I was unwilling 
 that the public should suffer loss, by the suppression of the val- 
 uable materials which had been put into my hands ; or that the 
 pecuniary advantage, resulting from their being committed to 
 the press, should be transferred, from the afflicted family, 
 whose right it is, to any other person. My avocations, how- 
 ever, were too numerous to admit of my attempting to antici- 
 pate another publication, great part of which had evidently been 
 prepared beforehand, consisting chiefly of a review of his 
 works. And I should, indeed, have rejoiced to secure much 
 
Till PREFACE. 
 
 more leisure, to revise and improve this narrative, than, aftet 
 all this delay, I have found it possible to obtain: though my 
 highest ambition is, like the biographer of David Brainerd, to 
 show what manner of man my friend was, and to excite others 
 to follow him, so far as he followed Christ. 
 
 Most of our common acquaintance are well aware, that I was 
 his oldest and most intimate friend ; and though my removal to 
 Bristol, above twenty years ago, placed us at a distance from 
 each other, yet a constant correspondence was all along main- 
 tained ; and, to me at least, it seemed a tedious interval, if more 
 than a fortnight elapsed without my receiving a letter from him. 
 
 I always considered him, and Brother SutclifF, and myself, as 
 more closely united to each other, than either of us were to 
 any one else.* No one of those that grew up with me in the 
 work of the Lord, had an higher share in my esteem than Mr* 
 Fuller ; and the task he assigned me at his death is some evi- 
 dence, that I did not impose upon myself, in supposing I pos- 
 sessed a peculiar interest in his friendship. But, as I affirmed 
 at his funei-al, so I again avow my persuasion, that our inti- 
 mate friendship did not blind either of us to the defects or faults 
 of the other ; but, rather showed itself in the freedom of af- 
 fectionate remark on whatever appeared to be wrong. I know 
 but one religious subject on which there was any material differ- 
 ence of judgment between us ; and, on that point, I repeatedly 
 expressed myself more freely and strongly to him, than I did 
 to any man in England ; yet without giving him offence. 
 
 His natural temper might occasionally lead him to indulge 
 too much severity, especially if it were provoked by the ap- 
 pearance of vanity or conceit. But to the modest and diffi- 
 
 • I do not forget the ardent friendship we all hore to the excellent and 
 amiable ?'earce ; but this commenced fifteen years later, and was inter- 
 rupted by death, fifteen years sooner, than our acquaintance with each 
 other. 
 
fREFACE. tx 
 
 dent, I never knew him otherwise than tender. He was not a 
 man, however, to be brow-beaten and overborne, when satis- 
 fied of the goodness of his cause ; nor could he be easily im- 
 posed upon by any one. In January, 1815, I thought I had 
 some occasion for urging him to take care lest he should be too 
 much provoked : he replied, " I know something of my own 
 temper, and thank you for all your cautions. It has some 
 advantages, and some temptations.'* 
 
 It has been conceived, that he was in danger of thinking too 
 favourably of any one who appeared to embrace the whole of 
 his religious sentiments. It might be so. But let what he has 
 said at the close of his fourth letter,* respecting the difference 
 between tirincifiles and o/nnions, be considered. Will not this 
 be found a correction of such a mistake ? I believe, if he for- 
 merly verged towards an error of this kind, it was chiefly oc- 
 casioned by the deep sense he had in his own experience, of the 
 humbling and holy tendency of his principles. Hence, he 
 might be too ready to suppose, that every one who seemed 
 to enter thoroughly into them, would necessarily be subject to 
 the same sanctifying influence. 
 
 Some of his friends, I am aware, have suspected, that the 
 experience of progressive years had not greatly altered his pro- 
 pensity to think the less of a man, for not entering into the 
 minuter parts of his system. He certainly had taken a long 
 while to settle his own judgment, on some points of very 
 considerable importance : he should, therefore, not have for- 
 gotten, if he now walked in the midst of the paths of judg- 
 ment, that a man who had wandered a little on the left side of 
 the narrow way, might be as long in getting exactly into the 
 proper track, as he himself had been in finding his way out 
 of a thicket on the right hand. Yet, in this respect also, I 
 
 • See Chap, II. p. 29. 
 
4 Preface. 
 
 cannot forbear referring to the same passage, as expressive 
 of genuine candour : and those who thought they had most 
 room for complaint on this head, have acknowledged, that " he 
 did every thing conscientiously.'* 
 
 A much higher delineation of my friend's character than 
 I ever attempted, which I could not have drawn with equal 
 eloquence, though I fully believe it to be just, I shall here 
 subjoin : and this may sutBce to excuse me for writing these 
 Memoirs without any panegyric of my own. 
 
 " I cannot refrain from expressing, in a few words, the sen- 
 timents of affectionate veneration with which I always regarded 
 that excellent person while living, and cherish his memory 
 now that he is no more ; a man whose sagacity enabled him 
 to penetrate to the depths of every subject he explored? 
 whose conceptions were so powerful and luminous, that what 
 Was recondite and original appeared familiar ; what was intri- 
 cate, easy and perspicuous in his hands ; equally successful in 
 enforcing the practical, in stating the theoretical, and discuss- 
 ing the polemical branches of theology ; without the advanta- 
 ges of early education, he rose to high distinction among the 
 religious writers of his day. and, in the midst of a most active 
 and laborious life, left monuments of his piety and genius which 
 will survive to distant posterity. Were I making his eulogi- 
 wm, I should necessarily dwell on the spotless integrity of his 
 private life, his fidelity in friendship, his neglect of self-in- 
 terest, his ardent attachment to truth, and especially the series 
 of unceasing labours and exertions in superintending the Mis- 
 sion to India, to which he most probably fell a. victim. He 
 had nothing feeble or undecisive in his character ; but to every 
 undertaking in which he engaged, he brought all the powers 
 of his understanding, all the energies of his heart ', and, if he 
 were less distinguished by the comprehension^ than the acumen 
 
i'REFA<pB. ^1 
 
 Jsmd solidity of his thoughts ; less eminent for the gentler gra- 
 ces, than for stern integrity and native grandeur of mind, we 
 have only to remember the necessary limitation of human ex- 
 cellence. While he endeared himself to his denomination by 
 a long course of most useful labour, by his excellent works 
 on the Socinian and Deistical controversies, as well as his 
 devotion to the cause of Missions, he laid the world under 
 lasting obligations.'* 
 
 If any testimony of respect need be added, after the pre- 
 ceding quotation from one of his own denomination, it shall 
 be one as honourable to the candour of the speaker, as it 
 ■was to the character of my departed brother. A Paedobap- 
 tist minister in Scotland, at a numerous assembly convened 
 at Glasgow, for the sake of forming a Society in aid of the 
 Baptist Mission, in the beginning of last October, expressed 
 a wish, with which the universal feeling of all present seemed 
 to be in unison — " Would to God that every Brahman in India 
 was altogether such a man as Brother Fuller or Brother Ca- 
 rey 1" Nor did Dr. Balfour, Mr. Wardlaw, and Dr. Chalm- 
 ers, appear less disposed to testify their respect to our lat^ 
 invaluable Secretary, than Mr. Greville Ewing. 
 
 As Dr. Stuart, wlio drew up the sketch of Mr. Fuller's life, 
 inserted in the Christian Herald^ (and copied by Mr. M.) has 
 assured me, that he gave no offence by adding to it the follow- 
 ing extract, which I had sent him, from a letter I received 
 soon after Mr. Fuller's death, I need not scruple to insert it 
 myself — " But all this tim-, (said Mr. Wilberforce,) I have been 
 thinking of our departed friend, for ours^ not yours, I must term 
 him ; at least, it will go ill with me, and with any one who does 
 not belong to that blessed society to which he belongs. There 
 is a part of his work. The Gospel its own fVitn^ssy which is 
 enough to warm the coldest h^art." 
 
Xli PREFACE. 
 
 I conclude this preface with the entry on the minutes of the 
 Committee of the British and Foreign Bible Society^ dated 
 May 22, 1815. — " This Committee learn, with deep regret' 
 the decease of the late Rev. Andrew Fuller, Secretary to the 
 Baptist Missionary Society ; and, impressed with a sense of 
 the valuable services rendered by that excellent individual, in 
 promoting the translation and publication of the Sacred Scrip- 
 tures in the East, desire to unite their condolence on this afflic- 
 tive event with those of their Baptist brethren, to whom he 
 was more particularly allied, and of the Christian world, by 
 whom his memory will deserve to be held in affectionate and 
 grateful veneration.'* 
 
 To this testimony of the most respectable Christian Senator 
 in the British Parliament, and the most respectable Christian 
 Society in the world, I add nothing but my fervent prayers, for 
 his surviving widow, and all his children and family ; that his 
 God may be their God, guardian, guide, and portion for ever. 
 Amen \ 
 
 John Ryland. 
 Bristol, Jan. 29, 1816. 
 
 P. S. In this new edition, I have rectified two or three mis- 
 takes, which 1 had inadvertently made in the former ; and have 
 left out a few particulars of less importance, to make room for 
 some mteresting additions ; especially part of a letter to his 
 eldest son ; (288.) a farther account of Mr. Coles ; (278.) and 
 of Mr. Fuller's second daughter Sarah, ^291.) who died since 
 her father's decease ; with a letter to a friend, respecting im- 
 pressions of texts of Scripture on the mind. (352.) A few 
 paragraphs have also been transposed ; and a smaller type 
 has been used, for the sake of reducing the price. 
 
 January 1, 1818. 
 
MEMOIRS 
 
 REV. ANDREW FULLER- 
 
 CHAP. I. 
 
 PRELIMINARY REMARKS ON THE ENGLISH BAPTISTS 
 
 THE GOVERNMENT OF THEIR CHURCHES THE BAPTIST 
 
 ASSOCIATIONS GENERAL AND PARTICULAR BAPTlSTg 
 
 RISE OF THE MODERN QUESTION CONTROVEKST 
 
 OCCASIONED BY IT STATE OF OUR CHURCHES ABOUT 
 
 THE YEAR 1770 SPREAD OW FALSE CALVINISM AMONG 
 
 THEM, AND OTHER DENOMINATIONS A CHECK BEGUN 
 
 TO BE PUT TO ITS PROGRESS. 
 
 JM[R. fuller having been brought up among the Far- 
 ticular Ba/itists, in which religious connexion he rose to em- 
 inent respectability and usefulness, it may be proper to prefix, 
 
aff MEMOIRS OF 
 
 to the narrative of his life and labours, a brief account of the 
 principles held by that denomination of Christians, and of the 
 state of religion among them, at the time of his entering on the 
 work of the ministry. 
 
 The Baptists take their name from the ordinance of baptism, 
 in respect of which, they are concerned to adhere to the 
 primitive institution of Jesus Christ, from which, they conceive^ 
 Christians of other denominations have deviated. I simply 
 mention this, as not knowing into what hands this publication 
 may fall. If any reader wishes to know the reasons of our judg- 
 ment on this subject, I would refer him to a late publication of 
 my own.* We wish others to search the Scriptures carefully, 
 and judge for themselves, and desire to love all that love our 
 Lord Jesus Christ in sincerity, whether they think with us on 
 this point or not. 
 
 As to Church Governments the Baptists have almost univer- 
 sally coincided in opinion and practice with the Independents ; 
 considering every separate congregation as authorized to choose 
 its own elders, and admitting or excluding members by the 
 vote of the whole church. 
 
 In several parts of the kingdom they have long had 
 Associations of churches; to the annual meeting of whose 
 ministers and messengers letters are sent, giving information of 
 the state of every church : while a general letter from each 
 Association is usually printed, and circulated through all its 
 churches. If any church were to dishonour the gospel, by 
 tolerating fundamental errors or scandalous disorder in its 
 members, the Association would refuse to acknowledge that 
 church as belonging to their body. I have known very salutary 
 effects to follow from the Association threatening to withdraw 
 from a church, if they did not impartially attend to gospel 
 discipline. 
 
 The JsTorthamfitonshire and Leicestershire Association, of 
 which Mr. Fuller was so long a distinguished member, was 
 first planned at Kettering, October, 1764. A letter was written 
 
 • A candid Statement of the Reasons which induce the Baptists to differ^ 
 in OpinioD and Practice from so many of their Christian Brethren. 
 
MR. FULLER, 3 
 
 from the same place, at their first meeting, in May, 1765. 
 Their first pi is. ted letter was sentfiom OIney, in 1766, written 
 by Mr. Moses Deacon : in this, the churches are not named ; 
 but in 1767, the Association consisted of eight churches: in 
 1815, it contained thirty-one. 
 
 The Western Baptist Association had its rise much earlier, 
 and was, for many years, kept up by the Baptists, as such, 
 without any regard to their different principles in other respects. 
 The consequence of this was, their annual meetings were 
 found to be rather pernicious than useful ; as there was scarcely 
 a meeting of the kind, but some unhappy differences arose 
 between the Calvinistic and Arminian ministers. In the year 
 1731, this annual meeting was to have been held at Tiverton ; 
 but an awful fire, about that time, which consumed most of 
 the town, prevented it. The next year, it was not revived : 
 but, in the following year, an invitation was sent to the respec- 
 tive churches, by the church in Broadmead, Bristol, desiring 
 them to renew their annual meeting, upon the foot of their 
 agreement in the Confession of Faith set forth by the Assem- 
 bly of Particulai' Baptists, held in London, in 1689. Accord- 
 ingly, a meeting was held, in Broadmead, on May 17, 1733, 
 when Mr. Joseph Stennett,* of Exeter, preached, from Phil. 
 i. 27. latter part. There were messengers or letiers from 
 twenty-four churches. The Rev. Bernard Fosket was then pas- 
 tor, and Edward Harrison, minister, at Broadmead ; and the 
 Rev- John Beddome and William Bazely were pastors at the 
 Pithay. There are now sixty-eight churches in this Associa- 
 tion. 
 
 The English Baptists have been usually divided into two dis- 
 tinct bodies, by their different views of the doctrines of grace. 
 The General Baptists are so called, from their maintaining the 
 sentiment of general redemption. Many of the old churches 
 
 • Afterwards Dr. Joseph Stennett, who removed to Little Wild Street, 
 London, in 1737. His father and grandfather, as well as his son, (Dr 
 Samuel Stennett,) were all employed in the work of the ministry ; and 
 his grandson (Air. Joseph Stennett) is now pastor of the church at Calnc. 
 
4 Mli^MOIHS OP 
 
 of this sort, have gone from general redemption to no redemii" 
 tion, or from Arminianism to Arianism and Socinianism : but 
 the churches of what is called the A^'ew Connexion^ are far 
 more evangelical ; and some of them approach nearly to the 
 principles of the moderate Calvinists.* 
 
 The Particular Baptists espouse the Calvinistic sentiments, 
 on what are called the Five Points ; namely, [1.] That the elect 
 were eternally fore-ordained to holiness, obedience, and happi- 
 ness, as the end^ through sanctification and the sprinkling of 
 the blood of Jesus, as the means of obtaining that end, to the 
 glory of sovereign grace : [2.] That the peculiar blessings of 
 redemption^ purchased by the death of Christ, are actually im- 
 parted only to the elect, all of whom shall certainly enjoy them : 
 [3.] That mankind are so universally and totally defiraved^ 
 that tliey never can be brought back to God, without the pow- 
 erful influence of the Holy Spirit : [4.] That the special ope- 
 rations of the Divine Spirit are invincibly efficacious^ and can- 
 not be frustrated by the rebellious will of man : [5.] That 
 all who are truly regenerated shall persevere in grace^ to glory. 
 
 In their zeal for these doctrines, some good men, towards 
 the beginning of the last century, were driven into an extreme ; 
 so as to deny that all who hear the gospel aye called to that 
 exercise of repentance and faith which is connected with 
 salvation. As far as I can learn, this controversy, respecting 
 ■what was then called the Modern Question — Whether it be 
 the duty of all men to whom the gospel is published, to repent 
 and believe in Christ — first arose in Northamptonshire. Many 
 of the churches in that neighbourhood had been gathered by 
 the labours of Mr. Davis, an Independent minister at Rothwell, 
 and other preachers called out by his church. He was a 
 very zealous, laborious man ; but was accused of rashness and 
 imprudence, by the Presbyterian ministers in his neighbourhood ; 
 and both himself and his fellow-labourers were charged with 
 
 • See a letter, from the Rev; Mr. Freestone, of Hinkley, inserted ia 
 the Baptist Magazine, for September, 1812, in answer to a very errone- 
 ous statement, by Dr. Haweis which the conductors of the Jt^vangelical 
 Magazine would not suffer to be corrected. 
 
MR. FULLER. 
 
 using expressions of an Antinomian tendency. But I can find 
 no evidence that he took the negative side, on this question ; 
 and when, after Mr. Davis's death, it began to be advanced 
 among some of his followers, his successor, Mr. Maurice very 
 strenuously opposed it. He published a pamplilet against this 
 sentiment, and annexed to it a testimony from the church under 
 his care, dated Aug. 31, 1737, which was signed by above 
 fifty-men members. Mr. Lewis Wayman of Kimbolton, wrote 
 in defence of the neiu opinion— That it is not the dutij of the 
 unregenerate to believe in Christ. To this, Mr. Maurice pre- 
 pared a reply : but he died before it was quite completed. 
 What he had written however, was published by the desire 
 of his church, under the inspection of the Rev. Thomas Brad- 
 bury, of London, who perfixed an epistle to the reader, dated 
 Mays, 1739. 
 
 After this Mr. Gutteridge of Oundel, wrote a piece on the 
 affirmative side, wherein there were, I suppose, some things 
 really verging towards Arminianism. Upon this, Mr. John 
 Brine, a Baptist Minister in London, but a native of Kettering, 
 published a letter to a friend, entitled. The Anninian Frinci/iles 
 of a late nvriter refuted. 1743. Though Mr. Brine espoused 
 the Jiegative side of the question, yet he repeatedly allows, what 
 no man of reading could dispute, that many sound Calvinists 
 embraced the affirmative ; and professes to his friend concerning 
 Mr. Gutteridge, " Had not this writer attempted to build up 
 Arminianism upon the foundation of the opinion of evangelical 
 repentance and special faith being the duties of unregenerate 
 men, I had not given you and the world this trouble ; for, though 
 I apprehend that opinion is not to be supported by Scripture and 
 the analogy of faith, it seems not to me to be oisuch consequence, 
 but that persons differing in this point may fully agree about 
 the doctrines of the grace of God." 
 
 In 1752, a pamphlet was published on the affirmative side, 
 by Mr. Alvery Jackson, a Baptist minister in Yorkshire, whose 
 daughter married Mr. Abraham Greenwood, once pastor of the 
 church at Oakham : this piece was edited by Dr. Joseph Slcn- 
 nett, upon which Mr. Brine made some animadversions, in his 
 Motives to Love and Unity among Calvinists differing in opin- 
 ion. A very peculiar man, Mr. Johnson of Liverpool, published 
 also on the negative side, in reply to Mr. Jackson ; but he car- 
 ried matters to so extravagant a length, that Mr. Brine thought 
 i 
 
^ MEMOIRS OF 
 
 it necessary to ftote and rectify his mistakes ; and his publica- 
 tions were very little regarded by Calvinists in general. 
 
 However, through the iiifluence of Mr. Brine and Dr. Gill, 
 who both took tlie negative side of the question, (though the 
 latter never wrote on the subject,) this opinion spread pretty 
 much among the ministers of the Baptist denonriination. And, 
 though the coritroversy had subsided, and was but little known 
 among the people, yet the preachers were too much restrained 
 from imitating our Lord and his apostles, in calling on sinners 
 to " repent and believe the gospel/* Many of these ministers, 
 indeed, endeavoured to address the consciences of men, as far 
 as then- system would allow ; and some of them could hardly 
 refrain^ from expressing themselves inconsistently with their 
 creed. They were aware that the divine law requires such 
 obedience as no bad man will yield to it; but, though they 
 considered all mankmd as bound to love God supremely, yet 
 they supposed, that the faith connected with salvation could 
 not be a duty, because Adam, as they then thought, had not 
 flower, i that is, he had no occasion, or opportunity) to believe 
 in Christ.* 
 
 At length, several of them began, independently of each other, 
 to examine this question for themselves, and were covinced that 
 they had needlessly deviated from the scripture path, in which the 
 most orthodox of their predecessors had been used to walk.f 
 
 These ministers, however, always abhorred, as the veiy es- 
 sence of Antinomianism, the notion that the law is not binding 
 
 * Yet Dr. Gill, in his CmcRe of God and Truth, Tart 111 p 81. gives 
 up this chief argument of Mr Brine, and says. ''Th t \dani, in a slate 
 of innocence. Iia-i a power of believtng in ( hiist, and did believe in him, 
 as the secon.i person in the i'nnit), as the Son of (iod, cannot well be 
 denied ; since, \\\i\\ the other two persons, he was his t Creator and l*re- 
 server, the knowledge of svhich cannot well he thought to be withheld 
 from him. \tnl his not believing ui him ms ihe Mediator, Saviour, and 
 Redeemer, /i/(/ Jiot arise from any defcc of poxvcr in him; but from the 
 state, condition, and siluaUon in which he was, and from the nature of the 
 revelation made to him." 
 
 t The sixi\ -second of Samuel Rutherford's Letters, was one ol the first 
 things that put me to a stand on this subject. Closely stud\ing Edxvards 
 on the Hill, and entering into the distinction between natural -Ami moral 
 inaljility, rrmoveil the difficulties which had once embarras.sed luv mind. 
 In 1776, 1 borrowed of Mr. Newton, of (JIney, two sermons on this sub- 
 ject, by Mr .S-naliey, which Brother SutclitF afterwards reprinted from 
 the copy which I transcribed I well remember lending them to Mr. Hall 
 of \rnsby, to whom I remarked, that I was ready to suspect, that this 
 disiiMCtit)n well considered, would lead us to see, that the affirmative side 
 of the Modern Question was fully consistent with the strictest Calvinism. 
 He replied. " I do not think that " But I believe the next time I methira 
 was ai a Minister's Meeting at Kettering, when I found he was fully sat- 
 isfied of the truth of ray observation. 
 
MR, FCLLER. 'S 
 
 upon believers as a rule of conduct. Dr. Gill, Mr. Brine, and 
 Mr. Tcplady utterly reprobated that pernicious sentiment, into 
 which so many have eagerly run within these last thirty years. 
 
 But, at the former period, some of the Calvinistic Methodists, 
 especially in Lady Huntingdon's Connexion, were becoming 
 tinged with False Calvinism. These Avere not led into it, like 
 the admirers of Mr. Brine and Dr. Gill, by reading a great deal 
 of controversial divinity, or by a poUMniral discussion of the five 
 points disputed between us and the Armininns ; but by a vague, 
 crude idea of the term fiOwn\ which led them to suppose, that 
 notiiing could be a bad man's duty, but what he could perform 
 without any special influence from God. The same idea was 
 spreading, faster than we were aware, among our churches also: 
 the ministers might distinguish between repentance and faith, 
 and other internal duties; allowing the latter to be required, 
 while they scrupled exhorting men to the former : but had 
 things gone on a little longer in the same direction, wc should 
 soon have lost sight of the essence of duty, and of the spirituality 
 of the divine law ; and, consequently, men would have been 
 treated as though, before conversion, they were fallen belorj all 
 obligation to any thing spiritually good, and as though, after 
 conversion, they w^ere raised above all obligation to any thing 
 more than they were actually inclined to perform. Thus, 
 mcimation would have been made the measure of obligation ; 
 duty would have been confined to the outward conduct ; the 
 turpitude of sin unspeakably lessened ; and grace proportion- 
 ably eclipsed, both as to the pardon of sin, and as to the appli- 
 cation of salvation to the soul. 
 
 Such was the state of our churches, when God was pleased 
 to call my dear brother by his grace, and to bring him into 
 the ministry, and, soon after, into connexion with the Northamp- 
 tonshire Association. 
 
 These things account for his mind having been so early 
 engaged in theplogical disquisitions ; whereby God was pre- 
 paring him to be an instrument of checking the progress of 
 False Calvinism, and bringing back many from the very bor- 
 ders of Antinomianism. 
 
 Having premised these observations, I shall proceed, after 
 noticing his parentage, to present my readers with an account 
 of his earliest religious impressions, i)is conversion, and en» 
 trance on the work of the ministry, in his own words. 
 
€HAP. II. 
 
 OF HIS ANCESTORS — 'HIS OWN NARRATIVE OF HIS 
 EARLY RELIGIOUS IMPRESSIONS, AND HIS SUBSE- 
 QUENT CONVERSION TO GOD ; WITH HIS ENTRANCE 
 ON THE WORK OF THE CHRISTIAN MINISTRY, AND 
 EARLY EMBARRASSMENTS RESPECTING VARIOUS THE- 
 OLOGICAL CONTROVERSIES. 
 
 MR. Andrew Fuller was born on the 6th of February, 
 1754, at Wicken, a village in Cambridgeshire, seven miles 
 from Ely, and about the same distance from Newmarket. In 
 this vfhage his paternal ancestors had resided from time im- 
 memorial. 
 
 His father, Robert Fuller, was a farmer : he removed, in 1758, 
 from Wicken to Mildenhall J in 1761, to Soham ; in 1773, to 
 Bottisham ; (until which time his son Andrew assisted him in 
 his business;) and, in 1780, to Isleham ; — places at no great 
 distance from one another, in each of which he rented a small 
 farm, and at the last of which he died, on January 29, 1781, 
 aged 58. 
 
 His mother, Philippa, daughter of Mr. Andrew Gunton, a 
 farmer at Soham, was a member of the Baptist church there? 
 but resided many years at Kettering. She survived to lament 
 
AIEMOIRS OF, &C. 5 
 
 the loss of her dutiful and affectionate son ; but on May 27, 
 1816, she departed this life, in her 90th year, with a hope full 
 of glory, and entered on a reunion with him, in a state of eter- 
 nal felicity She had two other sons, who are yet living ; name- 
 ly, Mr. Robert Fuller, a farmer at Isleham, born in 1747 ; and 
 Mr. John Fuller,* a farmer at Little Bentley, in Essex, born in 
 1748 : they are both deacons of Baptist churches. But, as 
 several of Mr. Fuller's ancestors were not only eminent for 
 piety, but suffered in the cause of pure and undefiied religionj 
 some farther notice of them may not be unacceptable to the 
 reader. 
 
 *' His paternal grandfather was Robert Fuller, of Wicken. 
 He married Honour Hart, a pious woman, who travelled, to 
 attend public worship, from Wicken to Isleham, where she was 
 a member of an Independent church, till, being convinced of 
 the propriety of believers' baptism, she joined the church at 
 Soham, in which she continued till her death. Her father was 
 Robert Hart, of Swaffham Prior, in Cambridgeshire, who, (ac- 
 cording to tradition preserved in the family,) was converted, in 
 a wood near Burwell, under the preaching of Mr. Francis Hol- 
 croft,t one of the ejected ministers. Mr. Holcroft was im- 
 prisoned in Cambridge castle, (1663) by Sir Thomas Chickley, 
 for preaching at Great Eversden. His first confinement lasted 
 nine years ; but the jailer suffered him sometimes to go out by 
 night, to preach at Kingstone, and in this wood. Mr. Hart was 
 afterwards a member of the church at Isleham. 
 
 His maternal grandfather was Andrew Gunton, of Soham, 
 whose wife was Philippa Stevenson. She was first a member 
 «f the Independent church at Burwell, and afterwards of the 
 Baptist church at Soham, at its first formation, under the pas- 
 toral care of Mr. John Eve. Her father was named Friend 
 Stevenson, who lived at Soham ; his wife was named Mary 
 Maiden : she was remarkable for piety, and was buried in the 
 meeting-house at Burwell. Her parents were John and Joan 
 
 • Father of Joseph Fuller, a most amiable and promising youth, of 
 whose future usefulness in the church of God, 1 indulged the highest ex- 
 pectations, which sovereign -wisdom thought good to disappoint, by re- 
 moving him from our world, by a decline, in his 19th year. See a more 
 particular account of him in Chap. IX. 
 
 t He was Fellow of Clare Hall, before his ejectment. He had been a 
 pupil of Mr. David Clarkson, and chamber-fellow with Dr. Tillotson, af- 
 terwards Archbishop of Canterbury, from whtom he experienced great 
 kindness under h^8 troubles. 
 
6 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 Maiden, who lived at Soham in the reign of Charles II.; when 
 they were objects of ridicule and persecution, on account of 
 iheir nonconlormity. They were friends of Mr. Holcroft and 
 Mr. Oddy, and were buried near tJ cm, in a piece of ground 
 which the former purchased for a burying-ground, at Oaking- 
 ton, a village three or four miles north of Cambridge. These 
 two zealous nonconformists were the founders of almost all the 
 dissenting churches about Cambridgeshire.* 
 
 Thus, John and Joan Maiden were the parents of Mary, the 
 wife of Friend Stevenson ; whose daughter, Philippa S.even* 
 son, became the wife of Andrew Gunton ; and their daughter) 
 Phihppa Gunton, married Robert Fuller the younger, ot Wick- 
 en, and was the mother of the Rev. Andrew Fuller. 
 
 And Robert Hart, of S waff ham Prior, was the father of 
 Honour Hart, who married Robert Fuller the eider, of Wick- 
 en, whose son Robert was our Mr. Fuller's father. 
 
 Of Mr. Fuller's first religious impressions he himself wrote 
 an account to his much respected friend, Dr. C. Stuart of Ed- 
 inburgh, in five letters; the first two of which were inserted in 
 the Evangelical Magazine^ 1788, but without any hint of the 
 person to whom they referred. He also sent a similar detail, 
 more lately, to a friend at Liverpool, with a few variations of 
 expression. 
 
 I wish, as much as possible, to let my dear departed brother 
 be his own biographer ; and shall therefore insert the narrative, 
 as given by himself. Possibly some sincere Christian may be 
 puzzled for a time, on reading the first letter ; but it is better 
 that such an one should be subjected to temporary pain, in 
 learning to distinguish between genuine and false religion, than 
 that others, who mistake counterfeit experience for the true 
 work of the Holy Spirit, should be left to deceive themselves. 
 Close examination will soon lead to discern the essential differ- 
 ence ; and a good hope will stand firmer, if both feet are placed 
 on the rock alone, than if one rested partly on a quicksand. 
 
 LETTER L 
 
 "Kettering, 1798. 
 
 « My dear Friend, — You request the particulars of that 
 
 change, of which I was the subject near thirty years ago. You 
 
 • See Palmer's Nonconformist's Memoral, Vol. I. pp. 202. 216. First 
 Edition. 
 
MR. FULLER. 7 
 
 need not be told, that the religious experience of fallible crea- 
 tures, like every thing else that attends them, must needs be 
 marked with imperfection, and that the account that can be 
 given of it on paper, after a lapse of many years, must be so 
 in a still greater degree. I am willing, however, to comply with 
 your request ; and the rather, because it may serve to recal 
 some things, which, in passing over the mind, produce inter- 
 esting and useful sensations, both of pain and pleasure. 
 
 " My father and mother were dissenters, of the Calvinistic 
 persuasion, who were in the habit of hearing Mr. Eve, a Baptist 
 minister ; who, being what is here termed high in his senti- 
 ments, or tmged with false Calvinism, had little or nothing to 
 say to the unconverted. I, therefore, never considered myself 
 as any way concerned in what I heard from the pulpit. Nev- 
 ertheless, by reading and reflection, 1 was sometimes strongly 
 impressed in a way of conviction. My parents were engaged 
 in husbandry ; which occupation, therefore, I followed, to the 
 twentieth year of my age. 1 remember many of the sins of 
 my childhood ; among which were lying, cursing, and swear- 
 ing. It is true, as to the latter, it never became habitual. I had 
 a dread upon my spirits to such a degree, that, when I uttered 
 an oath, or an imprecation, it was by a kind of force put upon 
 my feelings, and merely to appear manly, like other boys with 
 whom I associated. This being the case, when 1 came to be 
 about ten years old, I entirely left it off ; except that I some- 
 times dealt in a sort of minced oaths and imprecations, when 
 my passions were inflamed. 
 
 « In the practice of telling lies I continued some years 
 longer ; at length, however, I began to consider this as a mean 
 vice, and accordingly, left it off, except in cases where 1 was 
 under some pressing temptation. 
 
 « I think 1 must have been nearly fourteen years old, be- 
 fore I began to have much serious thought about futurity. 
 The preaching upon which I attended was not adapted to 
 awaken my conscience, as the minister had seldom any tiling 
 to say, except to believers ; and what believing was, 1 neither 
 knew, nor was I greatly concerned to know. I remember, 
 about this time, as I was walking alone, 1 put the question to 
 myself, ' What is faith ? there is much made of it : what is it V 
 I could not tell ; but satisfied myself in thinking that it was not 
 
8 
 
 1UEMOIR9 OF 
 
 of immediate concern, and that I should understand it as I 
 grew older.* 
 
 " At times, conviction laid fast hold of me, and rendered me 
 extremely unhappy. The light I had received, I know not how, 
 would not suffer me to go into sin with that ease which I ob- 
 served in other lads. One winter evening, I remember going 
 with a number of other boys, to a smith's shop, to warm our- 
 selves by his fire. Presently they began to sing vain songs. 
 This appeared to me so much like revelling thai I felt some- 
 thing within me which would not suffer me to join them ; and 
 while I sat silent, in rathet* an unpleasant muse, those vvords 
 sunk into my mind like a dagger, * What doest thou here, 
 Elijah ?* I immediately left the company ; yet, shocking to 
 reflect upon, I walked home, murmuring in my heart against 
 God, that I could not be let alone, and suffered to take my 
 pleasure like other young people I 
 
 " Sometimes, I was very much affected, in thinking of the 
 doctrines of Christianity, or in reading such books as Bunyan*s 
 Grace abounding to the Chief of Sinners^ his Pilgrim's Pro- 
 gress, &c. One day, in particular, I took up Ralph Erskine's 
 Gos/iel Sonnets ; and, upon opening what he entitles, A Gos- 
 fiel Catechism for Young Christians : or, Christ All in Alli7i our 
 
 • About this time, an incident took place, which Mr. Fuller mentioned 
 to me many years ago. 
 
 Being sent by his father, to do some business in the pastures, he per- 
 ceived a hawk's nest on one of the trees. He climbed the tree, and found 
 two young hawks, with which he was greatly pleased. Having to perform 
 his business in the pasture, he tied the birds to a bush, and went to work. 
 Soon after, on going to the place, he found they had made their escape. 
 In the midst of his concern, he thought of those words — ♦* If ye have faith 
 as a grain of mustard-seed, ye shall say to this mountain. Remove thence, 
 to yonder place, and it shall remove." * Now, (thought he) if a moun- 
 tain should remove, why not a bird ?' He thought, moreover, that this 
 was a fit opportunity to try whether he had any faith, or not. Accord- 
 ingly, he very gravely commanded the birds to appear before him ; but 
 they did not come ! He was more concerned, however, for the loss of 
 his birds, than for his want of faith : he thought, that might come some 
 time ; but the birds would not ! 
 
 At another time he was climbing for a rook's nest, which was very 
 high, and stood upon a small bough, of a kind of wood which was very 
 liable to break. He sat some time, on an arm of the tree, viewing the 
 nest. He thought, there was great danger of the bough breaking, and if 
 it did, of his losing his life. The thought occurred, however, that God 
 could prevent its breaking. So he prayed to him to do so : and upon this 
 presumption, ventured up ! The bough did not break ; and supposing 
 that this prayer was answered, he descended from the tree with a heart 
 full of Pharisaical pride, imagining that he was one of the favourites of 
 heaven. 
 
 Such was the darkness and levity of his mind at that time ; but he af- 
 terwards felt very different sensations, on reflecting on the divine patience 
 and forbearance, which thus preserved him before he was eftectually 
 <^alled by divine grace. tt, 
 
UR» FULLER. ^ 
 
 Vomfilete Uedemfition ; I read, and as I read I wept. Indeed, 
 I was almost overcome with weepinj2; : so interesting did the 
 doctrine of eternal salvation appear to mc : yet, there beini^ no 
 radical change in my heart, these thoughts passed away, and I 
 was equally mtent on the pursuits of folly, as heretofore. 
 
 " Yet I often felt a strange kind of regard towards good peo- 
 ple, such of them, especially, as were familiar in their beha- 
 viour to young persons, and would sonietimcs talk to me about 
 religion. I used to wish I had many thousand pounds, that I 
 might give some of it to those of them who were poor as to 
 iheir worldly circumstances. 
 
 " I was, at times, the subject of such convictions and af- 
 fections, that I really thought myself converted, and lived under 
 that delusion for a long time. The ground on which I rested 
 that opinion, was as follows: One morning, I think about the 
 year 1767, as I was walking alone, I began to think seriously 
 what would become of my poor soul, and was deeply affected 
 in thinking of my condition. I felt myself the slave of sin, and 
 that it had such power over me, that it was in vain for me to 
 think of extricating myself from its thraldom. Till now, I did 
 not know but that I could repent at any time ; but now, I per- 
 ceived that my heart was wickedj and that it was not in me to 
 turn to God, or to break off my sins by righteousness. 1 saw, 
 that if God would forgive me ail the past, and offer me the 
 kingdom of heaven on condition of giving up my wicked pur- 
 suits, I should not ?.ccept it. This conviction was accompa- 
 nied with great depression of heart. I walked sorrowfully 
 along, repeating these words : ' Iniquity will be my ruin ! Ini- 
 quity will be my ruin I* While poring over my unhappy case, 
 those words of the Apostle suddenly occurred to my mind^ 
 ' Sin shall not have dominion over you j for ye are not under the 
 law, but under grace.' Now, the suggestion of a text of Scrip- 
 ture to the mind, especially if it came with power, was generally 
 considered, by the religious people with whom I occasionally 
 associated, as a promise coming immediately from God* I, 
 therefore, so understood it, and thought that God had thus re- 
 vealed to me that I was in a state of salvation, and that, there- 
 fore, iniquity should not, as I had feared, be my ruin. The 
 eff'ect was, I was overcome with joy and transport. I shed, I 
 
 * See Remarks upon the Notion of Extraordinary Impulseg and Impres. 
 ons oa the Imagination, indulged by many Professors of Keligion. K. 
 
10 MEMOIRS OK 
 
 suppose, thousands of tears as I walked along, and seemed to 
 feel myself, as it were, in a new world. It appeared to me> 
 that I hated my sins, and was resolved to forsake them. Think- 
 ing on my wicked courses, I remember using those words of 
 Paul, * Shall I continue in sin, that grace may abound ? God 
 forbid 1' 1 felt, or seemed to feel, the strongest indignation 
 at the thought. But, strange as it may appear, though my face 
 was that morning, I believe, swoln with weeping, before night 
 all was gone and forgotten, and I returned to my former vices 
 with as eager a gust as ever. Nor do I remember, that, for 
 more than half a year afterwards, I had any serious thoughts 
 about the salvation of my soul. I lived entirely witi^out pray- 
 er, and was wedded to my sins just the same as before, or, 
 rather, was increasingly attached to them. 
 
 " Some time in the following year, I was again walking by 
 myself, and began to reflect upon my course of life ; particu* 
 larly upon my former hopes and affections, and how 1 had since 
 forgotten them all, and returned to all my wicked ways. In- 
 stead of sin having no more dominion over me, I perceived that 
 its dominion had been increased. Yet, I still thought, that 
 must have been a promise from God to me, and that I must have 
 been a converted person, but in a backsliding state. And this 
 persuasion was confirmed by another sudden impression, which 
 dispelled my dejection, in these words : ' I have blotted out as 
 a thick cloud thy transgressions, and as a cloud thy sins.* This, 
 like the former, overcame my mind with joy. I wept much 
 at the thoughts of havmg backslidden so long, but yet consid- 
 ered myself now as restored and happy. But this also was mere 
 transient affection. I have great reason to think, that the great 
 deep of my heart's depravity had not yet been broken up, and 
 that all my religion was without any abiding principle. Amidst 
 it all, I still continued in the neglect of prayer, and was never, 
 that I recollect, induced to deny myself of any sin, when temp- 
 tations were presented. I now thought, however, *■ Surely I 
 shall be better for the time to come.* But alas ! in a few days 
 this also was forgotten, and I returned to my evil courses with 
 as great an eagerness as ever. 
 
 *' I was now about fifteen years of age ; and as, notwithstand- 
 ing my convictions and hopes, the bias of my heart was not 
 changed, I became more and more addicted to evil, in propor- 
 tion as my powers and passions strengthened. Nor was I 
 
MR. FULLCR. 11 
 
 merely prompted by my own propensities ; for, having formed 
 acquaintance with other wicked youniij people, my progress in 
 tlie way to death became greatly accelerated. Being of an 
 athletic frame, and of a daring spirit, I was often engaged in 
 such exercises and exploits, as, if the good hand of God had 
 not preserved me, might have issued in death. I also frequently 
 engaged in games of hazard, which, though not to any great 
 amount, yet were very bewitching to me, and tended greatly to 
 corrupt my mind. These, with various other sinful practices, 
 had so hardened my heart, that I seldom thought of religion. 
 Nay, I recollect, that, on a Lord's day evening about that time, 
 when my parents were reading in the family, I was shamefully 
 engaged with one of the servants, playing idle tricks, though I 
 took care not to be seen in them. These things were nothing 
 to me at that time ; for my conscience, by reiterated acts of 
 wickedness, had become seared^ as with a hot iron : they were, 
 however, heavy burdens to me afterwards. 
 
 " But as I have now brought down my narrative to the period 
 when, I trust, God began to work effectually on my heart, I 
 will leave that part to another opportunity, and for the present, 
 subscribe myself, 
 
 " Yours, Affectionately, A. F." 
 
 LETTER II. 
 
 *< My dear Friend, — I embrace the earliest opportunity of 
 concluding the narrative which I began at your request By 
 the close of my last, you would perceive, tl.ai at near sixteen 
 years of age, I was, notwithstanding various convictions and 
 transient affections, pressing on in a 'amentahle career ot wick- 
 edness. But, about the autumn ot 1769. my convictions revis- 
 ited me, and brought on such a concern about my everlasting 
 welfare, as issued, I trust, in real conversion. 
 
 " It was my common practice, after the busniess of the day 
 was over, to get into bad company in the evening, and, when 
 there, I indulged in sin without restraint. But, after persisting 
 in this course for some time, I began to be very uneasy, 
 particularly in a morning, when I first awoke. It was almost 
 as common for me to be seized with keen remorse at this hour? 
 as it was to go into vain company in the evening. At first I 
 began to make voivs of reformation ; and this, for the moment, 
 would afford a little ease : but, as the temptations returned, my 
 Vows were of no account. It wa^ an enlightened con5*^»^A^t<^ 
 
12 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 only that was on the side of God : my heart was still averse to 
 every thing that was spiritual or holy. For several weeks, I went 
 on in this way ; vowing and breaking my vows, reflecting on 
 myself for my evil conduct, and yet continually repeating it. 
 
 " It was not now, however, as heretofore : my convictions fol- 
 lowed me up closely. I could not, as formerly, forget these 
 things, and was therefore a poor miserable creature ; like a 
 drunkard, who carouses in the evening, but mopes about the 
 next day like one half dead. 
 
 " One morning, I think in November, 1769, I walked out 
 by myself, with an unusual load of guilt upon my conscience. 
 The remembrance of my sin, not only on the past evenmg,but 
 for a long time back, the breach of my vows, and the shocking 
 termination of my former hopes and affections, all uniting to- 
 gether, formed a burden which I knew not how to bear. The 
 reproaches of a guilty conscience seemed like the gnawing 
 ■worm of hell. I thought, ' Surely that must be an earnest of 
 hell itself I' The fire and brimstone of the bottomless pit seemed 
 to burn within my bosom. I do not write in the language of 
 exaggeration. I now know that the sense which I then had of 
 the evil of sin, and the wrath of God, was very far short of the 
 truth ; but yet it seemed more than I was able to sustain. In 
 reflecting upon my broken vows, I saw that there was no truth 
 in me. I saw that God would be perfectly Justin sending me 
 to hell, and that to hell I must go, unless I were saved of mere 
 grace, and as it were in spite of myself. I felt, that if God 
 ■were to forgive me all my past sins, I should again destroy my 
 soul, and that, in less than a day*s time. I never before knew 
 what it was to feel myself an odious, lost sinner, standing in 
 need of both pardon and purification. Yet, though I needed 
 these blessings, it seemed presumption to hope for them, after 
 what I had done. I was absolutely helpless, and seemed to 
 have nothing about me that ought to excite the pity of God, or 
 that I could reasonably expect should do so ; but every thing 
 disgusting to him, and provoking to the eyes of his glory. 
 < Wliat have I done ? What must I do ?* These were my in- 
 q\iiries, perhaps ten times over. Indeed, I knew not what to 
 do ! I durst not promise amendment ; for I saw such prom- 
 ises were self-deception. To hope tor forgiveness in the course 
 that 1 was in, was the height of presumption ; and to think of 
 Christ, after having so basely abused his grace, seemed toQ 
 
MR. FULLER. 13 
 
 ittuch. So I had no refuge. At one moment I thouj^ht of 
 giving myself up to despair. « I may (said I within myself) 
 even return, and take my fill of sin ; I can but be lost.* This 
 thought made me shudder at myself My heart revolted. 
 < What! (thought I) give up Christ, and hope, and heaven!' 
 Those lines of Ralph Erskine's then occurred to my mind 
 
 « But say, if all the gusts 
 And grains of love be spent. 
 Say, Farewel Christ, and welcome lusts — 
 Stop, stop : 1 melt, I faint !* 
 
 I could not bear the thought of plunging myself into endless 
 ruin. 
 
 " It is difficult, at this distance of time, to recollect with 
 precision the minute workings of my mind ; but, as near as 
 I can remember, I was like a man drowning, looking every 
 way for help, or rather, catching for something by which he 
 might save his life. I tried to find whether there were any 
 hope in the divine mercy, any in the Saviour of sinners ; but 
 felt repulsed by the thought of mercy having been so basely 
 abused already. In this state of mind, as I was moving slowly 
 on, I thought of the resolution of Job, ' Though he slay me, 
 yet will I trust in him.* I paused, and repeated the words over 
 and over. Each repetition seemed to kindle a ray of hope, 
 mixed with a determination, if I mighty to c^st my perishing 
 soul upon the Lord Jesus Cl.rist for salvation, to be both par- 
 doned and purified ; for 1 felt that I needed the one as much as 
 the other. 
 
 " I was not then aware that any poor sinner had a warrant 
 to believe in Christ for the salvation of his soul ;* but supposed 
 there must be some kind of qualification to entitle him to do it; 
 yet I was aware that I had no qualifications. On a review of 
 my resolution at that time, it seems to resemble that of Esther, 
 who went into the king's presence, contrary to law^ and at the 
 hazard of her life. Like her, I seemed reduced to extremities, 
 impelled by dire necessity, to run all hazards, even tliough I 
 
 • See on this point, a Sermon published by desire of the Baptist Asso- 
 ciation at Ljme, entitled The JVecessitg of the Trnmpet^s giving a Certaiji 
 Sound, pp 24, 25. This Sermon was recomn)eii'.!c(l bv my d.-parled 
 Brother, in the Baptist Magazine, I'ec 1813, p 4G7. That pasii^gc in 
 John vi 50, 51. would have been more expressive, if the ind< finite pronoun 
 T/?, had been literally translated. Ihe like devii.tion from the orig- 
 inal, in Matth. xi. 57. seems to imply, that God the Father is a man ! K. 
 
14 MEMOIBS OF 
 
 should perish in the attempt. Yet it was not altogether from 
 a dread of wrath that I fled to ihis refuge ; for I well remember, 
 that I felt something attracting in the Saviour. * I must— 
 I will — yes — I will trust my soul, my sinful, lost soul in his 
 hands— If I perish, I perish !' However it was, I was deter- 
 mined to cast myself upon Christ, thinking, peradventure, he 
 would save my soul ; and if not, I could but be lost. In this way 
 I continued above an hour, weeping and supplicating mercy for 
 the Saviour's sake : (my soul hath it still in remembrance, and is 
 humbled in me !) and as the eye of the mind was more and more 
 fixed upon him, my guilt and fears were gradually and insensibly 
 removed. 
 
 " I now found rest for my troubled soul , and I reckon, that 
 I should have found it sooner, if I had not entertained the notion 
 of my having no warrant to come to Christ without some pre- 
 vious qualification. This notion was a bar that kept me back 
 for a time ; though, through divine drawings, I was enabled to 
 overleap it. As near as I can remember, in the early part of 
 these exercises, when I subscribed to the justice of God in my 
 condemnation, and thought of the Saviour of sinners, I had 
 then relinquished every false confidence, believed my help to 
 be only in him, and approved of salvation by grace alone, 
 through his death ; and if at that time I had known that any 
 poor sinner might warrantably have trusted in him for salvation* 
 I believe I should have done so, and have found rest to my soul 
 sooner than I did. I mention this, because it may be the case 
 with others, who may be kept in darkness and despondency by 
 erroneous views of the gospel much longer than I was. 
 
 *< I think also, I did repent of my sin in the early part of 
 these exercises, and before I thought that Christ would accept 
 and save my soul. I conceive, that justifying God in my 
 condemnation, and approving the way of salvation by Jesus 
 Christ, necessarily included it ; but yet I did not think at the 
 time, that this was repentance, or any thing truly good. 
 Indeed, I thought nothing about the exercises of my own mind, 
 but merely of my guilty and lost condition, and whether there 
 were any hope of escape for me. But, having found rest for 
 my soul in the cross of Christ, I was now conscious of my 
 being the subject of repentance, faith, and love. When I 
 thought of my past life, I abhorred myself, and repented as 
 in dust and ashes ; and when I thought of the gospel way of 
 
MR. FULLEE. 15 
 
 salvation, I drank it in as cold water is imbibed by a thirsty 
 soul. My heart felt one with Christ, and dead to every other 
 object around me. I had thought I had found the joys of salva- 
 tion heretofore ; but now I knciv I had found them, and was 
 conscious tliat I had passed from death unto life. Yet, even now 
 my mind was not so engaged in reflecting upon my own feel- 
 ings, as upon the objects which occasioned them. 
 
 *' From tl is time, my former wicked courses were forsaken. 
 I had no manner of desire after them. They lost their influence 
 upon me. To those evils, a glance at which before would 
 have set my passions in a flame, 1 now felt no inclination. < My 
 soul (said 1, with joy and triumph,) is as a weaned child !* I now 
 knew, experimentally, what it was to be dead to the world by 
 the cross of Christ, and to feel an habitual determination to de- 
 vote my future life to God my Saviour. 
 
 " From this time, I considered the vows of God as upon 
 me. But, ah I I have great reason for shame and bitter reflec- 
 tion, on reviewing the manner in which they have been fulfilled^ 
 Nevertheless, by the help of God, I continue in his service to 
 this day ; and daily live in hopes of eternal life, through Jesus 
 Christ my Lord and only Saviour. 
 
 " I am aff'ectionately yours, A. F." 
 LETTER IIL 
 
 Jan. 8th, 1815. 
 
 " My dear Friend, In recollecting the early exercises of my 
 mind, I see a great difference between respect and love. I never 
 knew the time when I did not respect good men ; but I did not 
 love them for Christ's sake. There was one poor man, in partic- 
 ular, who used to travel about three miles on a Lord's day morn- 
 ing, to worship ; and, as I often attended at the same place, I was 
 frequently very eager to get his company. I have run miles, to 
 overtake him, though when I was with him I had nothing to 
 say. In the autumn ot 1769, he became my father's thrasher j 
 and I was delighted on account of it, though I scarcely knew for 
 what reason. It was in the November of this year, that the 
 things related in my last letter occurred. My mind was now at 
 rest in Christ ; yet I had ntyer spoken to any one on the subject, 
 nor did 1 think of doing so for the present. But, whether the 
 thrasher perceived some alteration in me, as I went about my 
 business, or how it was, I know not, he talked to me rather 
 freely, and I told him all my heart. After this, other Christians 
 
16 
 
 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 conversed with mc, and invited me to their prayer-meetingSj 
 and I engaged with them in prayer, and other rehgious exer- 
 cises. It was in this accidental way, and not from my own in- 
 tention, that I became known among serious people. But, hav- 
 ing opened my mind to the thrasher, 1 often visited him in the 
 barn ; and, because I liindered hmi in his work, I made it up, 
 by thrashing for him, sometimes for an hour or two together. 
 
 " From the month of November 1769, I had entirely broken 
 off all my ungodly connexions and courses ; yet, being a boy 
 under sixteen, I found at times, boyish inclinations, and strong 
 struggles of mind respecting youthful follies. At Shrovetide, in 
 particular, when the young men met together, and practised 
 various athletic exercises, their shouts which were within my 
 hearing, would throw me into agitations which rendered me 
 very unhappy. But my good friend the thrasher, warned me 
 tenderly and solemnly, to keep out of the way of temptation ; 
 and I was enabled, though with some difficulty, to follow his 
 counsel. As the spring of 1770 came on, the young people of 
 the town, as usual, would meet every evening for youthful ex- 
 ercises. This was especially the case at the wake or feast ; 
 and, though I always kept at a distance, yet I found such times 
 very ensnaring to my mind. To avoid this, I began a practice, 
 which I continued with great peace and comfort for several years. 
 Whenever a feast or holiday, occurred, instead of sitting at 
 home by myself, 1 went to a neighbouring village, to visit some 
 Christian friends, and returned when all was over. By this 
 step, 1 was delivered from those mental participations in folly, 
 which had given me so much uneasiness. Thus the seasons of 
 temptation became to me times of refreshing from the presence 
 of the Lord. 
 
 " In March 1770, I witnessed the baptizing of two young 
 persons, (having never seen that ordinance administered before,) 
 and was considerably affected by what I saw and heard. The 
 solemn immersion of a person, on a profession of faith in Christ, 
 ;arried such conviction with it, that I wept like a child, on the 
 occasion. The words of the Psalmist, (Psa. cxi 10.) ' A good 
 understanding have all they that do his commandments,' left a 
 deep and abiding impression on my mind. I was fully per- 
 suaded, that this was the primitive way of baptizing, and that 
 every Christian was bound to attend to this institution of our 
 blessed Lord. About a month after this, I was -baptized my- 
 
MR. FULLER. iT 
 
 s.elf, and joined the church at Soham,* being then turned of six- 
 teen years of age. 
 
 " Within a day or two after I had been baptized, as I was 
 riding through the fields, I met a company of young men. 
 One of them, especially on my having passed them, called 
 after me, in very abusive language, and cursed me for having 
 been < dipped/ My heart instantly rose in a way of resentment : 
 but, though the tire burned, 1 held my peace ; for, before I 
 uttered a word, I was checked with this passage, which occur- 
 red to my mind : — ' In the world ye shall have tribulation.' I 
 wept, and entreated the Lord to pardon me ; feeling quite wil- 
 ling to bear the ridicule of the wicked, and to go even through 
 great tribulation, if at last I might but enter the kingdom. In 
 this tender frame of mind I rode some miles, thinking of the 
 temptations I might have to encounter. Amongst others, I 
 was aware of the danger of being drawn into any acquaintance 
 with the other sex, which might prove injurious to my spiritual 
 welfare. While poring over these things, and fearful of falling 
 into the snares of youth, I was led to think of that passage> 
 
 * In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy 
 paths.* This made me weep for joy ; and, for forty-five years, 
 I have scarcely entered on any serious engagement without 
 thinking of these words, and entreating divine direction. I 
 have been twice married, and twice settled as the pastor of a 
 church, which were some of the leading ways in which I had 
 to acknowledge the Lord ; and in each, when over, I could 
 say, as Psalm cxix. 26. — ^ My ways have I declared, and thou 
 heardest me.* 
 
 " In reviewing the early years of my life, I see much ignorance, 
 vanity and folly. I feel the force of Paul's considering the terras 
 
 * carnal* and ' babes in Christ,* as synonymous. But, amidst 
 all my youthful follies and sins, I bless God that I was always 
 kept from any unbecoming freedom with the other sex, or at- 
 temptmg to engage the affections of any female, except with a 
 view to marriage. 
 
 " The summer of 1770 was a time of great religious pleasure, 
 I loved my pastor, and all my brethren in the church ; and they 
 expressed great affection towards me, in return. 1 esteemed the 
 righteous as the excellent of the earth, in whom was all my de- 
 
 • Mr John Eve was then pastor of the Baptist church, aod iVIr. Adam 
 ■was pastor of the Intiependent church, io the »actte place. I*. 
 
 5 
 
18 
 
 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 light. Those who knew not Christ, seemed to me almost 
 another species, towards whom I was incapable of attachment 
 About this time, I formed an intimacy with a Mr. Joseph Diver, 
 a wise and good man, who had been baptized with me. He was 
 about forty years of age, and had lived many years in a very 
 recluse way, giving himself much to reading and reflection. He 
 had a great delight in searching afar truth, which rendered his 
 conversation peculiarly interesting to me ; nor was he less de- 
 voted to universal practical godliness. I account this connex- 
 ion one of the greatest blessings in my life. Notwithstanding 
 the disparity as to years, we loved each other like David and 
 Jonathan. My life, this summer, resembled the description 
 given by Dr. Watts ; — 
 
 'The day glides swiftly o'er their heads, 
 Made up of innocence and love ; 
 And, soft and silent as the shades. 
 Their nightly minutes gently move.* 
 
 But, in the autumn of the same year, an unhappy affair occurred 
 in the church, which occasioned a breach between our pastor, 
 Mr. Eve, and the people, which terminated in his leaving ihem ; 
 and, what rendered it the more afHicting to me, I was much con- 
 cerned in it. The case was this: — One of the members having 
 been guilty of drinking to excess, I was one of the first who 
 knew of it. I immediately went and talked to him, as well as I 
 could, on the evil of his conduct. His answer was, he could 
 not keep himself ; and that, though I bore* so hard on him, I 
 was not my own keeper. At this I felt indignant, considering 
 i as a base excuse. I therefore told him, that he could keep 
 himself from such sins as these, and that his way of talking was 
 merely to excuse what was inexcusable. 1 knew not wl)at else 
 to say at that time ; yet the idea of arrogating to be my own 
 keeper seemed too much. He however was offended, and lold 
 me that J was youn^, and did not know the deceitfulnes of my 
 own heart. Well, 1 went and told my pastor, who highly com- 
 mended me, and said, we could keep ourselves from open sins. 
 We h id no power he observed, to do thini;s spiritually good ; 
 but, as to outward acts, we had power both to obey the will ol God, 
 and to disobey it. 
 
 " The business soon came before the church, and the offender 
 was unanimously excluded : the excuse which he had maue too. 
 
MR. FULLER. 19 
 
 was considered by all, I believe as an ag^gravation of his offence. 
 But, this affair being disposed of, the abstract question, of the 
 power of sinful men to do the nvill of God, and to keefi themselves 
 from sin, was taken up by some of the leading members of the 
 cliurch, amongst whom was my friend Joseph Diver. Tlicy 
 readily excused me, as being a babe in religion ; but thought the 
 pastor ought to have known better, and to have been able to 
 answer the offender, without betraying the truth. Thty alleged, 
 that the greatest and best of characters, as recorded in Scripture, 
 never arrogated to themselves the power of keeping themselves 
 from evil, but constantly prayed for keeping grace ; that, were 
 it not for the restraining goodness and constraining grace of 
 God, earth would be a hell, and the best of men incarnate devils : 
 in short, that, though v/e are altogether blameworthy for our 
 evir propensities, yet if they were restrained or conquered, it 
 was altogether to be ascribed to God, and not to us. To support 
 these ideas, they alleged the prayers of the faithful to be kept 
 from evil, even from presumptuous sins; (Psa. xix. 13.) — the 
 declaration of the prophet, that the way of man is not in himself: 
 ' it is not in him that walketh to direct his steps ;' (Jer. x. 23.; — 
 the case of Hezekiah, whom the Lord left^ that he might try 
 him, ' that he might know all that was in his heart ;* 2 Chron. 
 xxxii. 31.) — and the acknowledgments of such men as John 
 Bradford, the martyr, who, on seeing a man go to be publicly 
 executed, said, ' There goes John Bradford by nature.' 
 
 « On the other hand, the pastor distinguished between inter- 
 nal and external power. He allowed, that men had no power 
 of themselves to perform any thing spiritually good ; but con- 
 tended, that they could yield external obedience, and keep them- 
 selves from open acts of sin. In proof of this, he alleged a 
 great number of Scripture-exhortations ; asking, if we had no 
 power to comply with them, wliy they were given us ? The 
 opponents did not deny our b<,ing exhorted to do good., and to 
 avoid evil, nor that it was our duty to do both, and our sin to 
 act otherwise ; but they denied, that this implied our being suf- 
 ficient of ourselves to do any thing, even to think a good 
 thought. 
 
 " In these disputes, I continued, for some time, on the side ot 
 my pastor : but, after a few months, I felt difficulties on the 
 the subject, which I could not answer, and which rendered me 
 
%9 
 
 MEMOIR8 OF 
 
 unhappy. I perceived, that some kind of power was necessa- 
 ry, to render us accountable beings. If we were like stocks 
 or stones, or literally dead, like men in a burying ground, we 
 could, with no more propriety than they, be commanded to per- 
 form any duty : if we were mere machines, there could be no 
 sin chargeable upon us. Yet, on the other hand, the Scriptures 
 expressly affirm, that ^ the way of man is not in himself,* and 
 represent the godly as crying to heaven for preservation from 
 evil, ascribing all the good that was in them to Him who work- 
 cth in us to will and to do of his own good pleasure. I prayed 
 much, and laboured hard to solve this difficulty. 
 
 " My worthy friend, Joseph Diver, who sustained a high 
 character for wisdom and integrity, would reason thus with me : 
 < We ought to hate evil, and love the Lord ; but it is the grace 
 of God alone, that can make us what we ought to be.' He 
 would often speak of the equity of the divine requirements, in 
 the words of David — ' I esteem all thy precepts in all things to 
 be right, and I hate every false way.* And again, — ' Thou hast 
 commanded us that we should keep thy precepts diligently : O 
 that my ways were directed to keep thy statutes 1' ^ Thus it is, 
 (said he,) that we should turn every precept into a prayer, in- 
 stead of inferring from it a sufficiency in ourselves to conform 
 to it. All our conformity to the divine precepts is of grace : 
 it will never do to argue from our obligations against our de- 
 pendence, nor from our dependence on grace against our obli- 
 gations to duty. If it were not for the restraining goodness and 
 preserving grace of God, we should be a kind of devils, and 
 earth would resemble hell.* 
 
 « In October, 1771, our pastor, Mr. Eve, left us. I loved 
 him, and he loved me, and took it hard, that I had, in some 
 respects, changed my views. I learned afterwards, that he had 
 entertained thoughts of me, as being formed for the ministry, 
 but that this contention damped his hopes on that subject. He 
 settled, when he left Soham, with a people at Wisbeach. I 
 never look back upon these contentions, but with strong feel- 
 ings. They were to me the wormwood and the gall of my 
 youth : my soul hath them still in remembrance, and is hum- 
 bled in me. But though, during these unpleasant disputes, 
 there were many hard thoughts and hard words on almost al] 
 hands, yet they were, ultimately, the means of leading my mind 
 into those views 9f divine truth which have since appeared ip 
 
MR. FULLBR. 21 
 
 the principal part of my writings. They excited me to read 
 and think and pray, with more earnestness than I should haxe 
 done without them : and, if I have judc^ed or written to any 
 advantage since, it was in consequence of what I then Jeaiiuid 
 by bitter experience, and in the midst of many tears and temp- 
 tations. God*s way is in the deep. 
 
 « About this time, I met with a passage in Dr Gill, (I think 
 it was in his Cause of God and Truth,) in which he distin- 
 guished between a thing being ' in the power of our hard, -^ud 
 in the power of our hrart.^ < This, (thought I ) is the cit vv to 
 our dispute. Every man has it in the power ot his hand to do 
 good, and abstain from evil ; and this it is which makes us ac- 
 countable beings. We can do, or foibear to co. this and ti -Jt? 
 if we have a mind ; but many have not a mind, and none W(,iiid 
 have such a mind, but for the restraining goodness or con!>train- 
 ing grace of God. We have it in the powvr of our h-nuis to 
 do good, but we are disposed to do evil ; and so, to do uood is 
 not naturally* in the power of our hearts. 
 
 " It was some time after this, that I became accjuainted with 
 Mr. Robert Hall, of Arnsby, who, in conveibition on tht sub- 
 ject, recommended Edwards on the Will. On readiiig tl^is 
 "Work, and some other pieces on physical] and moral injpo- 
 
 * Common sense can distinp^uish, every day, between the inabiliiy of a 
 hard hearted mider freely to impart of his :tbun.iHnce to the poor, mid 
 the JnKbility of a compassionate pooi roan to conirilnite much to the re- 
 lief of others : — between the inability of I'aniar to resist the viol.i.fc of 
 her brother \m'ion, and the inability of those whose " eyes are full of 
 ad'iltery" to cease from sio But, when we appl> the same distiMction to 
 every sinner's inability to love God, and givt- fidl crtdil l<) his testimony 
 concerning his Son, many pretend they cannot iiriderstand it : * If no one 
 can come to Christ, t^xcept the Father dr^w him,' they are ready to ask, 
 'what propriety can there be in complaining — Ye are not willing to conie 
 to rae, that ye might have life ?' \\\A if ooce ministers admit the 'xcuse 
 to be valid in this case, loose professi)rs will soon learn to apply it to sen- 
 sual indulgences also. 
 
 I question much, if any thinking man can steer clear of False ' alvjn- 
 ism, on the one hand, and Keal Arm'?iianism, on the other, without en- 
 tering into the distinction between tiatura! and moral ioHbilily, as it i^ cr-ni- 
 monly termed Dr. Twisse., the Prolocutor of the \ssen»bly of Disines, 
 (whose most learned adversaries have confessed, th«t th^r» wns norhing 
 then extant. moreex;ct. accurate. « nd fnll, touching the .\rminian con- 
 troversy, than what he published) arimits the truth and in.poriance of this 
 distinction : ' tmpotentiu fac'cndi quod Deo gr iivm est et i:cr' ptiim, non 
 est itnpotentia >iatur.£, &ed morum." See Howe's Blessedness oj ffic 
 Bighteous. III. 157. it. 
 
 t The term physical, is not understood by illiten-te people, however ; 
 and many plain (Christians, who are a< customed to sp< i.k <if our n^/zrc 
 dejjravity, as natural, are puzzled by the ambiguity of that term also. W** 
 
22 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 tence, I saw the same things clearly stated in other words, 
 which I had learned by bitter experience. 
 
 « Mr. Eve having removed, and the church being divided into 
 parties, it was thought, by some, that we should be dissolved ; 
 and I went, several Lord's days, to hear an Independent min- 
 ister in the neit^hbourhood. Those members, however, who 
 were of one mind, (and who formed the majority,) met together 
 on Lord's days, and, having no minister, and being situated too 
 far from other Baptist churches to get supplies, they carried on 
 the worship, by singing, prayer, and reading and expounding 
 the Scriptures. They also appointed a day for fasting and 
 prayer, and invited all the members to unite in it. I went to 
 this meeting, and, from that time, continued to assemble with 
 them. My friend, Joseph Diver, was, at that time, chosen to 
 be a deacon ; and, having some talent for expounding the 
 Scriptures, he used, at the request of the church, to take up a 
 part of every Lord's day in that exercise. 
 
 " As the disputes in the church were the occasion of turning 
 my thoughts to most of those subjects on which I have since 
 written, so were they the occasion of my engaging in the 
 Christian ministry. But this I shall reserve for another letter. 
 
 " I am, &c. A. F." 
 
 LETTER IV. 
 
 Feb. 1815. 
 « My dear Friend, — I renew the subject of my narrative In 
 November, 1771, as I was riding out on business, on a Satur- 
 day morning, to a neighbouring village, my mind fell into a 
 train of interesting and affecting thoughts, from that passage of 
 Scripture, < Weeping may endure for a night ; but joy cometh 
 in the morning. I never had felt such freedom of mind in 
 thinking on a divine subject before ; nor do I recollect ever 
 having had a thought of the ministry : but I then felt as though 
 
 admit, with Mr. Howe, «* That our moral incapacity is also, in sotne sense, 
 truly naturiil ; that is, in the same sense wherein we are said to be, bi/ 
 nature^ the children of wrath Kphes. ii. 3. Human nature, therefore, 
 must he considered, as created hy God, and as propagated by man. It 
 is in the former sense, (as tiod is the author of it,) that it is taken, in this 
 distinction of i atural uu! moral impotence." See Hoive, ut svpra. Our 
 depravity, though vatnral in the latter sense, is most unnatural in the 
 former. We say, of a child*who shows no .tffection for his tender parents, 
 that he is an unnatural wretch : how much more justly might we speak 
 of the enmity of a creature against a good and holy God, as unnatural ,- 
 and this, notwithstanding its universality, and its connexion with the fall 
 of our first parents. R 
 
MR, FULLER. 2iJ 
 
 I could preach from it ; and, indeed, I did preach, in a manner, 
 as I rode along. I thoui^ht no more of it, however, but re- 
 turned home when I had done my business. In tlie afternoon 
 of the same day, I went to meet my mother, who had been to 
 London, to see her mother, who was then very unwell. As we 
 rode a few miles together, she told me, she had been thinking 
 much about me, while in town, and added — * My dear, you have 
 often expressed your wish for a trade : I have talked with your 
 uncle at Kensington about it, and he has procured a good place 
 in the city, where, instead of paying a premium, you may, if 
 you give satisfaction, in a little time receive wages, and learn 
 ihe business. I thought, (continued she, that, as \ye had now 
 lost the gospel, and perhaps shall never have it again, you could 
 have no reason for wishing to continue here. In London you can 
 hear the gospel in its purity.' That which my mother sug- 
 gested was very true : 1 had always been inclined to trade ; 
 but, how it was I cannot tell, my heart revolted at the proposal, 
 at this time. It was not from any desire or thought of the min- 
 istry, nor any thmg else, in particular : unless it were a feeling 
 towards the little scattered society of which I was a member; a 
 kind of lingering, to see what would become of the city. I said 
 b ut little to my mother, but seemed to wijjh for time to con- 
 sider of it. This was Saturday evening. 
 
 *' The next morning, as 1 was walking, by myself, to meet- 
 ing, expecting to hear the brethren pray, and my friend, Jo- 
 seph Diver, expound the Scriptures, 1 was met by one of the 
 members, whom he had requested to see me, who said, * Broth- 
 er Diver has, by accident, sprained his ancle, and cannot be at 
 meeting to-day ; and he wishes mfc to say to you, that he hopes 
 the Lord will be with you.^ ' The Lord be with me ! (thought 
 I,) what does Brother Diver mean ? He cannot suppose that 
 I can take his place ; seeing 1 have never attempted any thing 
 of the kind, nor been asked to do so.* It then occurred, how. 
 ever, that I had had an interesting train of thought the day be- 
 fore, and had imagined, at the time, I could speak it, if I were 
 called to it. But, though I had repeatedly engaged in prayer, 
 publicly ; yet I had never been requested to attempt any thing 
 further, and, therefore, 1 thought no more of it. 
 
 « We walked on to the meeting, and took our places ; after 
 singing, one of the brethren went to prayer ; after which, the 
 eldest deacon asked me, if I would read some part of the Scrip- 
 
24 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 tures, and, if I found liberty, drop any remarks, whicii might 
 occur, as I went on. At first I was startled ; but, conscious 
 of what had passed in my mind the a^ before, I thought, as 
 Brother Diver was absent, it might be my duty to try ; and, 
 therefore, making no objections, (wijch, as it appeared to me, 
 would have been mere affectation,) I rose, and spoke, from Psa. 
 XXX. 5 for about half an hour, with considerable freedom. After 
 this, 1 was again invited, by Brother Diver, to speak, and I did 
 so ; but, not enjoying that liberty which 1 did the first time, I 
 was discouraged, and, though frequently asked, declined all 
 such exercises, for more than a year. But, early in 1773, I 
 think It was, Brother Diver was absent again, through an af- 
 fliction ; and I was invited, once more, to take his place. Be- 
 ing induced ^.o renew the attempt, I spoke from those words of 
 our Lord, ' The Son of Man came to seek and to save that 
 which was lost.' On this occasion, 1 not only felt greater free- 
 dom than I had ever found before ; but the attention of the 
 people was fixed, and several young persons in the congrega- 
 tion were impressed with the subject, and afterwards joined the 
 church. 
 
 " From this time, the brethren seemed to entertain an idea of 
 my enp:aging in the ministry, nor was 1 without serious thoughts 
 of it myself. Sometimes, I felt a desire after it ; at other times, 
 I was much discouiaged, especially through a consciousness 
 of my want of spirituality of mind, which I considered as a 
 qualification of the first importance. As to other quaJifica- 
 tions. It certainly would have been of great use to me, if, for a 
 few years, I had had the instiuctions of some father in the min- 
 istry; and 1 have often since regretted, that, from 1771 to 1774, 
 I lived to so little purpose. But none of my connexions had 
 any idea of the kind ; and, being conscious of knowing about 
 as much as those around me, I myself thought nothing of it. 
 At one time, when seriously reflecting on my own defects and 
 insufficiency, I was greatly relieved and encouraged, by that 
 passage, (Psa. Ixxxiv. 11.) ' The Lord will give grace and 
 glory.' It was now usual for my friend Diver to speak on one 
 part of the Lord's day, and for me to be engaged on the other; 
 and these exercises appeared to be blessed to several young 
 people, who aftei wards joined the church. 
 
 " In January, 1774, an eldeny lady, a member of the church, 
 died, and left a request, that, if tiie church did not thmk it dis- 
 
MR. FULLER. 25 
 
 orderly, I might be allowed to preach a funeral sermon on the 
 occasion. As the members were nearly of one mind respect- 
 ing me, they agreed to set apart the 26th of that month, which 
 was previous to the funeral, for fasting and prayer ; and they 
 then called me to the ministry. From that time, I exercised 
 from the pulpit. 
 
 ^' Being now devoted to the ministry, 1 took a review of the 
 doctrine i should preach ; and spent pretty much of my time 
 in reading, and in making up my muid as to various things rel- 
 ative to the gospel. Impressed with the importance of the 
 connexions I should probably form, in a few years, both as a 
 man and as a minister, to my future happiness and usefulness, 
 I earnestly besought the Lord to be my guide ; and those words, 
 m Prov. iii. 6. were very sweet to me — ' In all thy ways acknowl- 
 edge him, and he shall direct thy paths.' In most of the 
 important turns of my life, I have thought of that passage with 
 renewed tenderness, as one would think of a friendly hint given 
 him in early life, and make it a rule of conduct. 
 
 " Settling in a town where I had lived from the age of six 
 years, I could not expect to be much respected by the inhabi- 
 tants. In this, however, I had no occasion to complain. I had? 
 indeed, more respect shown me than I looked for ; partly ow- 
 ing to the prevalence of an opinion, when I was at school, ot 
 xny being more learned than my master ; an opinion which, I 
 am certain, was far from being true : but it indicated a partiality 
 in my favour, which, perhaps, was of some use in leading 
 people to hear the word. 
 
 " With respect to the system of doctrine which I had been 
 used to hear from my youth, it was in the High Calvinistic, 
 or, rather, Hyper Calvinistic strain ;* admitting nothing spir- 
 itually good to be the duty of the unregenerate, and nothing 
 to be addressed to them, in a way of exhortation, excepting 
 what related to external obedience. Outward services might 
 be required, such as an attendance on the means of grace : and 
 abstinence from gross evils might be enforced : but nothing 
 was said to them, from the pulpit, in the way of warning them 
 to flee from the wrath to come, or inviting them to apply to 
 Christ for salvation. And, though our late disputes had fur- 
 
 • That is, going as far above, or beyond CyAWiuhm, as Arminianism falls 
 below it. See my Sermon at Bourton, at the • »r,liMation of Mr 1. Coles, 
 p. 15. and that at Mr. Morgan's Ordination, at ^iiimw^ham, p. U. « 
 4 
 
26 MEMOIRS OP 
 
 nished me with some few principles inconsistent with these 
 notions, yet I did not perceive their bearings at first, and durst 
 not, for some years, address an invitation to the unconverted to 
 come to Jesus. I began, however, to doubt whether I had got 
 the truth respecting this subject. Tliis view of things did not 
 seem to comport with the ideas which I had imbibed, concern- 
 ing the power of man to do the will of God. I perceived, that 
 the will of God was not confined to mere outward actions, but 
 extended to the inmost thoughts and intents of the heart. The 
 distinction of duties, therefore, into internal and external, and 
 making the latter only concern the unregenerate, wore a sus- 
 picious appearance. But, as I perceived this reasoning would 
 affect the whole tenor of my preaching, I moved on with slow 
 and trembling ste[,s ; and, having to feel my way out of a laby- 
 rinth, I was a long time ere I felt satisfied. 
 
 " My mind was also frequently diverted to other subjects of 
 inquiry. In the first year of my ministry, books were put into 
 my hands, which led me to consider certain questions in divin- 
 ity, which it might easily be thought were improper for me, at 
 the age of twenty. One was on the prc'existence of Christ* s 
 human soul, before he was born of the Virgin. Another was 
 on the Sonshi/i of Christ ; or, whether the character of the only 
 begotten Son of God would ever have belonged to him, if he 
 had not been the son of Mary ? These things would not have 
 occupied my mind, had they not been suggested by others. Yet 
 I have reason to thank God, that they were the occasion of fix- 
 ing my judgment ; and 1 have since perceived, that every thing 
 pertaining to the person of Christ is of more than ordinary im- 
 portance. 
 
 " Concerning the first, I was led to see, that the notion of 
 Christ's human soul existing before the creation of the world 
 was unfounded, and tended to undermine his proper divinity. 
 It is true, this notion was held by Dr. Watts ; and I examined 
 his reasoning, but without obtaining satisfaction.* In conse- 
 quence of the examination I made at that time, I was enabled, 
 afterwards, to repel an attack from a company of ministers, 
 who were warm for that opinion. When they put it to me, I 
 offered to prove that it led to Atheism, or relinquish the argu- 
 ment. They accepted my offer. I began, by saying, * You sup- 
 
 * See Jonathan Edvards's Miscellaoeoua Observations on Importani 
 Theological bubjects, pp. 469— 473. K. 
 
MR. FULLER. 27 
 
 pose the human soul of Christ to be a party in the everlastinjj 
 councils of God V ^Yes : God could not take counsel with him- 
 self, for a council implies more than one ; but God is one * Yet 
 you do not suppose the soul of Christ to have always existed ?* No: 
 it was created, and therefore could not be eternal.* * Then you 
 must suppose, that, till the great God had a creature to take 
 counsel with, he had no plan ; that, prior to this act of creation, 
 he was withotit counsel, without plan, without design 1 But a 
 being without plan, purpos<^, or design, is not God I — Thus you 
 are landed on Atheism. The truth is, God nevMrr was without 
 his plan, purpose, or design. By applying, too, thos-.- passages 
 of Scripture which express the pre-existence of Christ (and 
 thereby prove his divinity) to the pre-existt nee of his human 
 soul, you undermhie his divinity, and favour the Arian hy- 
 pothesis.* 
 
 " Respecting the other question, I took considerable pains 
 in searching the New Testament. The question was, Whether 
 Christ was ever called the Son of God, in respect of his prein- 
 carnate person, as the second person in the Godhead ? 1 found 
 such proof that he wa.9, as quite satisfied me, that he was the 
 Son of God antecedently to his bemg born of a woman ; and 
 that, in calling God his own Father, he made himself equal 
 with God. Had I not been initiated hito these principles, at an 
 early period, I should not have been able to write the treatise 
 against Socinianism, which 1 have no cause to regret having 
 written. 
 
 " Besides these-; I was much perplexed, about the same time, 
 with the writings of Mr. John Johnson, of Liverpool, and for 
 some time favoured his sentiments. My pastor had, mdeed, 
 been one of his admirers. There were two things, in paiticu- 
 lar, for which he pleaded : that God did not and could not 
 decree to permit evil, without being the author of it — and that 
 he would have glorified his elect, though sin had never inter- 
 vened. The way in which I obtained satisfaction as to the first 
 was, I perceived that God had permitted evil ; and that which 
 he had done, it could not be wrong to decree or purpose to 
 do, unless it were wrong to purpose to do what is right. And 
 as to the second, I thought it was idle to speculate on what 
 God could or would have done, concerning his eleci, if sin 
 had never intervened, when all his revealed counsels went on 
 the supposition of its existence : even the incarnation of his 
 
28 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 Son was to ' destroy the works of the devil.' Bunyan would 
 have called these questions, ' Nats, which spoil the children's 
 teeth.* I have considered an attachment to them as resembling 
 the chewing of certain narcotics, of which, though they are 
 generally disagreeable at first, yet, by a little use of them, some 
 persons become so fond, as to prefer them to tlieir bread. They 
 were things, however, after which 1 did not seek j but they fell 
 in my way, and I am thankful now that they did. 
 
 " The next year, 1775, I visited London ; where I met with 
 a pamphlet, the contents of which revived all my doubts on 
 what was called the High Calvinistic system, or the system of 
 Dr. Gill, Mr. Brine, and others, as to the duty of sinners, and 
 of ministers in addressing them. It was written by Dr. Abra- 
 ham Taylor of London. It was not so n^iuch his reasoning how- 
 ever, as the passages of Scripture which he brought forward, 
 which made so deep an impression on my mind, that I could not 
 forget them, nor help feeling, that my preaching was antiscrip- 
 tural and defective in many respects. 
 
 " That summer I was ordained pastor of the church at So- 
 ham, and became acquainted with Mr. Robert Hall, of Ainsby, 
 who came seventy miles to my ordination, and continued 
 my father and friend till his death. In 1776, I became ac- 
 quainted with Mr. Sutcliff. who had lately come to Olney ; anfl 
 soon after, with Mr. John Ryland. jun. then of Northampton. 
 In them I found familiar and faithful brethren ; and who, partly 
 by reflection, and partly by reading the writings of Edwards, 
 Bellamy, Brainerd, See. had begun to doubt of the system of 
 False Calvinism, to which they had been inclined when they 
 first entered on the ministry, or rather to be decided against it. 
 But, as I lived sixty or seventy miles from them, I seldom saw 
 them, and did not correspond upon the subject. I therefore 
 pursued my inquiries by myself, and wrote out the substance of 
 what 1 afterwards published under the title of The Gospel Wor- 
 thy ofallAcccfuation; or^ the ObLigatio7is of Men cordially to 
 believe whatever God makes known. 
 
 " My change of views, on these subjects, never abated my 
 ^eal for the doctrine of salvation by grace ; but, in some 
 respects, increased it. I never had any predilection for 
 Arminianism, which appeared, to me, to ascribe the difference 
 between one sinner and another, not to the grace of God, but 
 to the good improvement rnade of grace given us in common 
 
MR. FULLER. 29 
 
 with Others. Yet I saw those whom I thought to be goSly 
 men, both among Arminians, and High, or as I now accounted 
 them Hyper Calvinists. I perceived, that men's characters 
 are not always formed by their avowed principles ; that wc may 
 hold a sound faith, without its having that hold of us as to 
 form our spirit and conduct; that we may profess an errone- 
 ous creed, and yet our spirit and conduct may be lormed nearly 
 irrespective of it ; in short, that there is a difference between 
 princifiles and opinions ; the one are the actual moving causes, 
 which lie at the root of action ; the other often float in the 
 mind, without being reduced to practice. I am, Yours, &c. 
 
 « A. F." 
 Thus far I have interwoven two different narratives together, 
 which were written some years apart, to two of Mr. Fuller's 
 friends: but, finding several particulars more fully detailed in 
 the latter part of one set of letters than in the former, I have 
 added them as a fifth letter, omitting some sentences, which 
 were quite similar to the statement already given. 
 
 LETTER V, 
 
 « My dear Friend, Nov. 1 3, 1 809. 
 
 « In the spring of 1775, 1 accepted the invitation of the church 
 at Soham, and was ordained their pastor. The pastors of the 
 other churches, who attended the ordination, took that opportu- 
 nity to inquire into the controversy which had divided us from 
 our former minister, and requested me to state the difference. 
 Mr. Hall, of Arnsby, who was one of them, expressed his sat- 
 isfaction in the statement, but recommended Edwards on the 
 Will to my careful perusal, as the most able performance on 
 the power of man to do the will of God. Not being much ac- 
 quainted with books, at that time, I confounded the work of Dr. 
 John Edwards, of Cambridge, an Episcopalian Calvinist, entitled 
 Veritas Redux, with that of Jonathan Edwards, of New- England. 
 I read the former, and thought it a good book ; but it did not 
 seem exactly to answer Mr. Hall's recommendation. Nor was 
 it tUl the year 1777, that I discovered my mistake. Meantime, 
 however, I was greatly exercised upon the subject, and upon the 
 work of the Christian ministry. 
 
 " The principal writings with which I was first acquainted 
 were those of Bunyan, Gill, and Brine. I had read pretty 
 Hiuch'^of Dr. Gill's Bodi/ of Divinity^ and from many parts 
 
30 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 of it had received considerable instruction. I perceived, how- 
 ever, that the system of Bunyan was not the same with his ; 
 for that, while he maintained the doctrines of election and 
 predestination, he, nevertheless, held with the free offer of 
 salvation to sinners, without distinction. These were things 
 which I then could not reconcile, and, therefore supposed, 
 that Bunyan, though a great and good man, was not so clear 
 in his views of the doctrines of the gospel, as the writers who 
 succeeded him. I found, indeed, the same things in all the old 
 writers, of the sixteenth and seventeenth centuries, that came 
 in my way. They all dealt as Bunyan did, in free invitations 
 to sinners to come to Christ and be saved ; the consistency of 
 which with personal election I could not understand. It is true, 
 I perceived the Scriptures abounded with exhortations and 
 invitations to sinners ; but I supposed there must be two kinds 
 of holiness — one of which was possessed by man in innocence, 
 and was binding on all his posterity — the other derived from 
 Christ, and binding only on his people. I had not yet learned, 
 that the same things which are required by the precepts of 
 the law are bestowed by the grace of the gospel. Tliose exhor- 
 tations to repentance and faith, therefore, which are addressed, 
 in the New Testament, to the unconverted, I supposed to refer 
 only to such external repentance and faith as were within their 
 power, and might be complied with without the grace of God. 
 The effect of these views was, that I had very little to say to the 
 unconverted ; at least, nothing in a way of exhortation to things 
 spiritually good, or certainly connected with salvation. 
 
 « But in the autumn of 1775, being in London, I met with a 
 pamphlet, by Dr. Abraham Taylor, concerning what was called 
 The Modern Question. I had never seen any thing relative to 
 this controversy before, although the subject, as I have stated, 
 had occupied my thoughts. I was but little impressed by his 
 reasonings, till he came to the addresses of John the Baptist, 
 Christ, and the Apostles ; which he proved to be addressed to 
 the ungodly, and to mean spiritual repentance and faith, inas- 
 much as they were connected with the remission of sins. This 
 set me fast. I read and examined the Scripture passages ; and 
 the more I read and thought, the more I doubted the justice of 
 my former views. 
 
 « About the same time, I met with a sermon, by Mr. John 
 Martin, from Rom. x. 3. on the Causes and Consequences qf 
 
MR. FITLLER. 31 
 
 nt)£ sub7mHin^ to the Righteousness of God. The drift of this 
 discourse, as nearly as I can remember, was, to show that sub- 
 mission to the righteousness of God was the same thing, for 
 substance, as believing in Christ for righteousness : and that 
 non-submission to it was owing to wilful ignorance, pride, prej- 
 udice, and unbelief. I was equally unable to answer this 
 reasoning as that of Dr. Taylor, and therefore began more and 
 more to suspect that my views had been antiscriptural. I was 
 very unhappy. I read, thought, and prayed. Sometimes, I 
 conversed on these subjects with my friend Joseph Diver, and 
 some others. He was nearly as much at a loss as myself. I 
 made a point, however, of not introducing the question in the 
 pulpit, till my judgment was fix^d. I am, 
 
 " Yours, affectionately, A. F." 
 
 The account of other controversies, which in the one set of 
 letters comes last, was inserted in a different order in the other, 
 which, being more full in some particulars, I will now annex 
 with as little repetition as possible. 
 
 " Soon after I entered on the ministry, I had several books 
 put into my hands, with a request that I would read them. One 
 was written by Mr. Samuel Stocke 11, in favour oUheJire-existence 
 of Christ's human soul; another, by a Mr. Allen, on the same 
 subject, and on the Sonshi/i of Christ. Several pamphlets also, 
 written by Mr. Johnson of Liverpool, fell in my way, containing 
 sentiments different from those of the generality of writers to 
 whom I had been accustomed to look up with respect. Though 
 I was not, at- that time, competent to form a judgment on such 
 subjects, yet, they being, in a manner, forced upon me, I was 
 obliged to do as well as I could. 
 
 " As to the fire-existence of Christ* s human soul^ it seemed to 
 me in itself a strange conceit, and such as I should never have 
 thought of in reading the Scriptures. The texts on which it was 
 founded seemed to be forced into the service, especially the 8th 
 of Proverbs, and Psalm cxxxix. 15, 16. and though some who 
 professed to believe in the divinity of Christ were partial to the 
 notion, yet I suspected it was invented to undermine that im- 
 portant doctrine. I found one of the principal arguments al- 
 ledged for it was, that as God was one, without a being of a dif- 
 ferent nature from himself there could have been no council of 
 peace relative to the salvation of men. But this, I perceived, 
 went to deny the eternity of the divine counsels i which would 
 
32 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 be nearly equal to denying a God : for a being without counsel^ 
 purpose, or design, were no God. 
 
 " Concerning the sonshi/i of Christy I had more hesitation. 
 I conversed with my friend Diver upon it, who was favourable to 
 Mr. Allen's idea ; namely, that Christ is called the Son God, 
 not as a divine person, but assuming human nature, and being 
 both God and man. He however very liberally, advised me to 
 read the New Testament with an eye to the question, and to 
 observe, as I went along, whether, in any instance where Christ 
 is represented as the Son of God, it respected him as a divine 
 person antecedent to his incarnation ; and whether the Scrip- 
 ture name for Christ's preincarnate person was not the Word, 
 rather than the Son of God ? 
 
 "In reading and thinking on the subject, I met with the 
 following passages, which appeared to me to admit of no other 
 fair interpretation than that which I was invited to reject : — 
 John v. 18. Gal. iv. 4. Heb. i. 8. v. 8, 9. and 1 John lii. 8. 
 By looking into my volume oi Essay s^^. 169, you will perceive 
 these to be the principal grounds of my present sentiments on 
 this subject. 
 
 " The peculiar opinions of Mr. Johnson laid faster hold of 
 me. There was something imposing in his manner- by which 
 a young and inexperienced reader is apt to be carried away. 
 His denial of God*s having decreed to permit sin^ and his notion 
 of the fiurfioses of grace being executed ujion the electa even 
 though sin had never intervened, much entangled me. It seemed 
 as if he were concerned to vindicate his Creator from being the 
 author of sin ; and in this view, I could not but approve : but, 
 on the other hand, his scheme appeared to have no founndation 
 in the Scriptures ; as all the grace given us in Christ Jesus 
 supposed the intervention of sin. And respecting the decree 
 to permit sin, I was one day conversing with a friend upon it, 
 who observed, ' It is a/acr, is it not, that God has permitted sin ; 
 and can it be a reproach to his character, that he should decree 
 to do what he has done ?* 
 
 ** This remark carried conviction to my mind. I saw, that, 
 if there were any thing inconsistent with the divine perfections 
 in the affair, it must be in permitting evil, and not in the decree 
 to permit it. If the one were right, the other could not be 
 wrong, unless it were wrong to determine to do what is right. 
 But to say tuat it is wrong for God to permit evil, is either to 
 
MR. FULLER. 33 
 
 arraign the divine conduct, or to maintain that e\'il exists with- 
 out being permitted. I perceived too that Mr. Johnson availed 
 himself of the ambiguity of the word permit^ and because, on 
 some occasions it signifies, to give leave^ would have it thought 
 that God could not be said to permit it. Alter this, 1 thought 
 but little more of it, but rested in this, The Judge of all the earth 
 will do right. 
 
 « In reviewing some of these questions, which occupied my 
 attention at so early a period, I have seen reason to bless God, 
 for preserving me at a time when my judgment was so imma- 
 ture. When I have seen the zeal which has been expended in 
 maintaining some such peculiarities, I have thought it a pity. 
 They have appeared to me as a sort of spiritual narcotics^ for 
 ■which when a man once gets a taste, he will prefer them to the 
 most wholesome food. It was in recollection of these things 
 that I lately wrote, in an Essay on Truths as follows : — ' A man 
 who chews opium or tobacco, may prefer them to the most 
 wholesome food, and may derive from them pleasure, and even 
 vigour for a time ; but his pale countenance and debilitated con- 
 stitution will soon bear witness to the folly of spending his 
 money for that which is not bread.* 
 
 <' A. F." 
 
 CHAP. III. 
 
 HIS SETTLEMENT, AS PASTOR OF THE CHURCH AT SO- 
 
 HAM THfcJ DIFFICUITIES HE THERE ENCOUNTERED 
 
 HIS REMOVAL THENCE TO KETTERING THE EX- 
 ERCISES OF HIS MIND ON THAT OCCAr<ION AN AC- 
 COUNT OF HIS SETTLEMENT AT KETTERING — HI3 
 STATEMENT OF THE CIRCUMSTANCES WHICH IN- 
 DUCED HIS REMOVAL, AND HIS CONFESSION OF 
 FAITH. 
 
 IN the preceding Chapter, I chose to ?ive Mr. Fuller's own 
 account of his early and superficial reiii^ious imi)rehsions j hir. 
 
34 MEMOIRS 0¥ 
 
 subsequent conversion ; his joining the church ; the pleasure 
 he enjoyed, at first, after his public profession of religion ; 
 the dissensions -which arose in the church, and issued in the 
 removal of their pastor ; his own entrance on the ministry ; 
 and the doctrinal difficuhies with which his mind was embar- 
 rassed at that early period. 
 
 When Mr. Eve had removed to Wisbeach, in the Isle of Ely, 
 in October, 1771, the church-book notices, that, after much 
 confusion among themselves, they nevertheless assembled with 
 each other, and spent the time in singing and prayer ; " some 
 brethren opening a word of Scripture, chiefly Brother Di- 
 ver," 
 
 Again, in the year 1772, an entry is made in the book, in 
 Mr. Fuller's writing, who was then eighteen years old : — 
 " Time, on Lord's days, was now carried on in opening the 
 Word, chiefly by two of the brethren, Brother Diver and Brother 
 A. Fuller ; and Oh ! to our unexpected, unlooked for comfort* 
 the Lord was pleased to make use of such weak means for the 
 conversion of some souls. This was like life from the dead to 
 us, and no small encouragement to the weak means made use 
 of. We were now almost like people that had found a new 
 world. New life, love, joy, peace, and harmony, spread almost 
 throughout every soul ; admiring the goodness of the Lord to- 
 wards us, in our confused, forlorn condition ; often, with thank- 
 fulness of heart, repeating the language of the church — ' It is 
 of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his 
 compassions fail not.' Evening meetings, which before had 
 been dropped, were now revived." 
 
 In 1773, it is mentioned, that two brethren were employed 
 in opening the Word on the Lord's day, chiefly Brother Anurew 
 Fuller. 
 
 Oct. 1773, a day was set apart for public fasting and prayer 
 to the Lord. The work of opening the Word on Lord's days 
 was wholly committed to Brother Fuller, tliough not yet pub- 
 licly sent into the ministry. 
 
 Jan. 26, 1774, the church met for solemn fasting and prayer, 
 and called Brother Fuller publicly to preach the gospel. 
 
 Feb. 22, he baptized two persons. Conversion-work now 
 went forward. 
 
MR. FULLER. 3^ 
 
 July 17, the church requested Brother Fuller to take the 
 pastoral care of them, which was repeated four times ; when, 
 on Feb 19, 1775, the invitation of the church was accepted by 
 Brother Fuller. 
 
 May 3, was appointed for the Ordination ; when the Rev- 
 Robert Hall, of Arnsby, gave the charge, from Acts xx. 28. 
 and the Rev. John Emery, of Little Staughton, in Bedfordshire, 
 addressed the church, from Gal. v. 13. 'By love serve one 
 another.* 
 
 June 8, 1775, the church, by unanimous consent, applied for 
 reception into the Northamptonshire Association, and were 
 readily accepted. 
 
 Mr. R. Fuller, deacon of the church at Isleham, who sent 
 these extracts from the records of the church at Soham, men- 
 tioned a brief anecdote of what once occurred at a conference 
 meeting there. A friend, of slender abilities, being asked to 
 pray, knelt down, and Mr. Fuller and the other friends with 
 him ; when he found himself so embarrassed, that, whispering 
 to Mr. Fuller, he said, " I do not know how to go on." Mr. 
 Fuller replied, in a whisper, " Tell the Lord so." The man, 
 taking Mr. Fuller's advice, began to confess his not knowing 
 how to pray as he ought, begging to be taught to pray ; and 
 so proceeded, without any one having heard what passed 
 between them. 
 
 Mr. Fuller continued pastor of the church at Soham for 
 more than seven years, and, considering the size of the con- 
 gregation, had as much success as could well be expected, but 
 attended with many painful trials, as the case often is, when God 
 is preparing a man for future usefulness. In the midst of them, 
 however, he found more leisure for the investigation of theo- 
 logical difficulties than he could easily have found in a less re- 
 tired situation. Perhaps, he had fewer means of assistance from 
 men and books than he might have had elsewhere ; but he 
 was obliged to think, and pray, and study the Scriptures, and 
 thus make his ground good, as he went on. 
 
 With respect to his removal from Soham, I have been at a 
 loss what to select, and what to omit, out of the plentiful ma- 
 terials which have been submitted to my inspection. 
 
 On reflecting upon what I knew, in early life, of our minis- 
 ters and churches, I have been ready to suspect, that some of 
 our best ministers carried their scruples to an extreme, and 
 
«i6 ' MEKfOfRS OF 
 
 were more averse to leaving a people with whom they had 
 once been settled, than the general good of the church required^ 
 Yet I have been ready to fear, that our young ministers are 
 in danger of verging too far the contrary way, and of deserting 
 stations of importance, as soon as they meet with any unpleas- 
 ant occurrence. I have had occasion, within these few years, 
 to remind some, that the British army in Spain would soon have 
 been driven out of the Peninsula, if every officer had deserted 
 his post, as soon as the French were so uncivil as to fire at him. 
 Not that I would determine too positively for others; but I 
 would guard them against a cowardly abandoning of impor- 
 tant but difficult stations, or aspiring after posts of honour and 
 ease, when God is blessing them with usefulness in the midst 
 of many privations and hardships. He that findeth his life shall 
 lose it : but he that loseth his life for my sake and the gospel's 
 shall find it — is a maxim of the highest authority, and of very 
 extensive application. 
 
 But, as to Mr. Fuller's removal, eveiy serious Christian must 
 admire the conscientious manner in which he acted, the self- 
 denying scrupulosity which kept him so long in suspense, the 
 modest manner in which he asked counsel of his senior breth- 
 ren, and the importunity with which he implored divine direc- 
 tion. Nevertheless, if all the correspondence which passed on 
 this occasion were published, it would, perhaps, be tedious 
 to many readers, and to some, his scruples would appear exces- 
 sive, or even ridiculous. Men who fear not God would risk the 
 welfare of a nation with fewer searchings of heart than it cost 
 him to determine whether he should leave a little Dissenting 
 church, scarcely containing forty members besides himself and 
 his wife. 
 
 Among these people he met with various trials and discour- 
 agements ; partly, through the unkindness of a few, who were 
 not satisfied with his ministry ; and partly, through the small- 
 ness of his income, which was far from being adequate to the 
 support of his family : and though he endeavoured to find a 
 remedy to the latter inconvenience, first, by opening a small 
 shop, and afierv/ards, by keeping a school ; yet neither attempt 
 succeeded so far as to prevent his annually sinking the little 
 property he possessed. The people were few in number, and 
 poor in circumstances ; so that they could raise him but thir- 
 teen pounds a year, besides five from the Baptist Fund in Lon- 
 
MR. FULLER. 37 
 
 don. He had also tbree pounds for preaching four sermons in 
 a year at a neighbouring village. In less than four years after 
 his marriage, he had four cliildren, though they mostly died 
 young. A tinge of False Calvinism infected some of the peo- 
 ple, who were inclined to find fault with his ministry, as it be- 
 came more searching and practical, and as he freely enforced 
 the indefinite calls of the gospel. This spirit first discovered 
 itself in December, 1799. The unwillingness also of his peo- 
 ple to exert themselves to get a more convenient place of wor- 
 ship, when their rent was raised, and that, when there appeared 
 an increasing disposition in the inhabitants of the town to attend 
 his ministry, was an additional cause of his dissatisfaction. 
 
 Mr. Robert Hall, of Arnsby, (who was venerated, by all who 
 knew him, for his eminent piety and wisdom) estimating the 
 talents of his young friend, and having some intimation of his 
 difficulties, first encouraged the church at Kettering to inquire 
 if Mr. Fuller were not moveable. No man could be more cau- 
 tious than Mr. Hall, not to excite a minister to leave his people 
 without justifiable grounds for so doing : and I befieve, the 
 church at Kettering, though they had been long and sorely tried, 
 through their minister's being laid aside by a tedious attack of 
 affliction, were yet conscientiously scrupulous in all their con- 
 duct towards the church at Soham. They had waited long, in 
 hope of their former pastor's recovery ; and when it was de- 
 cided that he must totally give up the ministry, having an ex- 
 pectation, that the increase of Mr. Fuller's family, if nothing else 
 should CO operate, would render his removal unavoiilabie, they 
 waited still longer, for him to see clearly the path of duty. 
 
 Eight and twenty letters lie before me, the first of wliich is 
 dated, Nov. 1799, and the last (which is the dismission of Mr. 
 and Mrs. Fuller from the church at Soham to the church at Ket- 
 tering) is dated Aug. 10, 1783 ; all of which evince the cautious 
 and conscientious manner in which both Mr. Fuller and his 
 friends at Kettering acted on this occasion. 
 
 I have also in my possession a diary of Mr. Fuller's, from 
 June 3, 1780, to Jan. 10, 1782, in v/hich are many allusions to 
 the exercises of his mind on this subject. 1 suspect, some 
 things written in short hand may relate to the same business ; 
 but, as he certainly intended these to be concealed, I have not 
 wished to have them decyphered. The first that is legible is 
 dated, 
 
38 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 " June 30, 1 780. — My heart has been much affected to-day, 
 in thinking on my situation. I prayed to the Lord earnestly, 
 that, if there were any thing in this world which might direct 
 me, he would lead my mind to it. Here I must wait. The 
 Lord may have designed to lead me in a way that I have not 
 known. 
 
 " Oct. 13. — Much concerned with the state of things 
 among us, and with my own state. Went to the Lord in 
 prayer : found a solemnity of spirit. The Lord direct me to 
 the land of uprightness ! 
 
 " Oct. 27, 1780. — My heart often aches in thinking of my sit- 
 uation. Lord, what is duty ? O that my ways were directed to 
 keep thy statutes ! 
 
 " Nov. 9. — Found my heart disposed to ask counsel of God, 
 and to leave him to guide me in his own way. 
 
 « 10. — O that I might be guided some way I My heart is 
 much perplexed ; but found liberty in prayer. 
 
 " 28 — For some days past, have been tenderly concerned 
 about my situation. O that the Lord would bestow upon me 
 his counsels and his care ! I am afraid of pride being in my 
 motives, both ways. O that God would hear and help me ! 
 The parable of the talents has been something to me. I am 
 frequently told, that my talents are buried here — but I do not 
 know. O that I may not have to go upon this principle ! O 
 that some plainer path might appear, if I must go ! 
 
 " Dec. 22. — I am far from happy. I cannot feel settled 
 where I am ; yet I cannot remove. Lord, let not duty hang 
 thus in doubt I 
 
 ** Jan. 15, 1781. — Much disheartened, in seeing the coolness 
 of some in providing for the future welfare of the church." 
 
 In February, his mind was much exercised on the subject : 
 he afterwards writes thus : 
 
 " March 5. — To-night it seems as if it would break my heart 
 to remove. The seal and fruits of my ministry are dear to m«. 
 Yet how it can be otherwise I cannot see. 
 
 " 6. — A continual heaviness lies upon me. O that I could 
 say, one way or other, upon solid grounds, ^ I have the mind of 
 Christ !' 
 
 " April 1 . — Tt seems as if the church and I should break 
 each other's hearts ! To-night, I have been but truly charged 
 
MR. FOLLER. 39 
 
 with < an irregular mind.* How heartily could I embrace death, 
 if it pleased God to send it ! How far are peace and happiness 
 from me ! 
 
 ** 2. — Affected in prayer. O for an unerring guide 1 O that 
 I knew the Lord's will ! Verily, if I know mine own heart, I 
 would do it. I had rather, I think, much rather, walk all my 
 days in the most miserable condition, than offend the Lord, by 
 trying to get out of it. 
 
 " 10 — The thoughts of my situation now return, and over- 
 power me. To-night, I was exceedingly affected in prayer, 
 earnestly longing that I might know the will of God. I have 
 entered, to-night, into a solemn vow, which I desire it may 
 please God to accept at my worthless hands. With all the 
 powers of my soul, with the utmost effusion of feelings, 1 have 
 vowed to this effect, before the Lord : — ' O Lord ! if thou wilt 
 give me so much light, as plainly to see what is my duty in this 
 case ; then, if I do not obey the dictates of conscience, let my 
 tongue for ever cleave to the roof of my mouth ! let my minis- 
 try be at an end ! let me be made an example of thy displeasure 
 against falsehood!* The case of those who asked counsel of 
 Jeremiah, (chap, xlii.) seemed to excite in me a jealousy of my 
 own heart ; but, so far as I know any thing of myself, I am re. 
 solved to stay or go, as it should please God, did I but know 
 his will. 
 
 " 18. — Earnest outgoings to God, in prayer. To-morrow 
 seems a day of great importance. Then I must give my rea- 
 sons to the church, for what I have intimated concerning my 
 removal. The Lord guide and bless them and me ! 
 
 " 19. — I went to the meeting, to-day, with very little premedi. 
 tation, thinking, an upright heart would be prepared. I as- 
 signed two reasons for my rernoval — the complaints some have 
 made of non -edification, and my wasting my property every 
 year. Neither of these objections being answered, the church 
 despairs. All is in confusion ! Ah ! what can I do ? what 
 can they do I My heart would say, Stay ; would freely go and 
 gather them together, and pour oil into their wounds. My 
 
 judgment only forbids me No .... No ! Surely 
 
 I cannot go 1 My heart is overwhelmed ! Lead me to the Rock 
 that is higher than I ! I have been pouring out my heart to 
 the Lord, since I came from the meeting. Think I could 
 rather choose death than departure 1 My heart is as if it would 
 
10 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 dissolve 1 It is like wax— it is melted in the midst of my 
 
 bowels I 
 
 "April 2}, 1781.-- 
 
 * Vast are the trials tied to time. 
 Ant] all my thoughts confusion still !' 
 
 My Spirit is overwhelmed within me : my heart v/ithin me is 
 desolate. Now my mind seems to lean as if I must stay, even 
 though it terminate in my temporal ruin. O fluctuating soul ! 
 
 " May 1 — Have been praying to the Lord, that I may keep 
 to that direction which was so much to me ten or eleven years 
 ago — ' In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy 
 paths.' This passage has been, several times, like a present 
 help in time of need. O that it may be such now I 
 
 a 2. — Affliction returns. How heavy I My heart and flesh 
 faileth ! O that God may be the strength of my heart, and my 
 portion for ever ! 
 
 « 3, — A painful melancholy lies heavy upon me all this day. 
 Have been trying to pray, but can get no manner of ease. 
 < Withhold not thou thy tender love,* has been my plea. 
 
 ti 4. — All my powers of body and mind are absorbed in my 
 extreme affliction. I thought, towards night, that, as these 
 limbs had been ingloriously employed in the service of sin, how 
 reasonable, though pardoning mercy be extended, that they 
 should be blasted, confined by a series of affliction, and, at last, 
 ingloriously reduced to dust. I can think of little else now, 
 but that I must leave Soham : yet it seems an afl"air of so 
 much importance, I dread it. 
 
 « 5. — I am as if I thought death would soon take me out of 
 the world : but God knows what is his will concerning me. 
 
 a 6. — Confined, by bodily affliction, from public worship, this 
 Lord's day. To-night, my heart melts with compassion towards 
 the church. I think, after all, if I go from them, it is as if it 
 must be in a coffin 1 
 
 «( 7. Tender thoughts towards the church. Several verses 
 
 of the 1 22d Psalm, towards the latter part, exceedingly move 
 me. The welfare of this part of Zion lies exceedingly near 
 me. Earnest, very earnest longings for it, and for direction to 
 myself, in prayer. The second chapter of Proverbs has been 
 somewhat to me, to-night, on the subject of divine direction' 
 The first nine verses seem to point out the way of obtaining it ; 
 and from thence to the end of the chapter, its manner of 
 operation and eff'ects are described. I have been trying to find 
 
MR. FULLER. 41 
 
 out wisdom and the fear of the Lord, as there dh-ected. O that 
 I may search for it, as for hid treasure ! 
 
 " iO- — I seem now, in general, to think of nothing but de- 
 parting from Soham. There are, hoAvever, many devices in 
 man's heart ; but the counsel of the Lord, that shall stand. It 
 seems to me now, as far as I can see, right that I should go; 
 but perhaps, in a few days I may think otherwise. O that I 
 might arrive at a greater degree of satisfaction ! Earnest 
 longings for this, to-night, in prayer. 
 
 «' 14. — Oh my heart I It is as if it must break ! Thought, 
 this morning, * There is a way that seemeth right unto a man, 
 but the end thereof is death.* This makes me jealous, lest spe. 
 cious appearances should beguile me. My load seems heavier 
 than I can bear ! O Lord 1 for thine own sake, suffer me not 
 to act contrary to thy will ! O for an unerring guide ! 
 
 a 20. — To-night, I stopped the church, and asked them, if 
 they could prove it wrong for me to leave them. I assured 
 them, if they could, I would abide with them, whatever was the 
 consequence. 
 
 " 22. — One thing I desire of the Lord : whatever be my por- 
 tion here — if it be to wear out my years in pining sadness — let 
 me so walk, as to enjoy his approbation. Into thy hands I 
 commit my spirit.'* 
 
 On the 24th of May, Mr. Fuller visited Kettering, previous 
 to the Association, which was held there, on the 5th, 6th, and 
 7th of June. He then conversed with Mr. Beeby Wallis, (an 
 excellent deacon of the church there) and admitted, that it was 
 his real opinion, he must remove. He mentions also conversing 
 with Mr. Hall, and says^ — " I found much tenderness in telling 
 him the whole affair, as it is." At the Association, he had much 
 pleasure, in hearing Mr. (now Dr.) Rippon, in prayer, and in 
 hearing Mr. Ryland, sen. preach, from Rev. iii. 2. which he ap- 
 plied to experience, doctrine, and practice. After the public 
 services, he consulted nine of the ministers on his case ; — 
 Messrs. Booth — Evans — Gill — Guy — Hall — Hopper — Ryland, 
 sen. — Ryland, jun. — and Sutcliff; who all advised his removal. 
 On his return, he again found his mind in a strait betwixt ihe 
 two courses proposed. ** Oh my soul I What shall I do ? O 
 for an unerring guide I 
 
 "July 12,1781. — Have been trying, to-day, to examine my 
 heart, by putting to myself such questions as these :—» Would 
 
42 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 it be most agreeable to my conscience to continue after ail,^vitll 
 my people ? — Is it likely, in so doing, I should please God, and 
 contribute to the welfare of his cause on the whole V To these 
 questions, I could not see how I could in any degree answer 
 in the afRrmative. But God knows my heart. I have been 
 trying to pray ; and sure it is my sincere desire, if I am wrong, 
 to be set right. I am now gomg to the church-meeting. O for 
 wisdom, and a quick understanding in the fear of the Lord ! 
 
 *' The meeting-house has been a Bochim to-day — a piace of 
 weeping ! I have told the church to expect my removal, in a 
 quarter of a year. Oh my soul ! I seem unable to endure such 
 attacks on my feelings ! 
 
 « 14 — Waked this morning with great heaviness of heart. 
 Have been trying to pray, < O send out thy light and thy truth : 
 let them lead me,' &c. My soul seems at a distance from God* 
 O Lord, if I have done aught amiss, teach me but the right 
 way, and I am willing to follow it. Have been reading Hosea 
 xii. 8, 9. I think I can answer from my heart, * Well Lord, if 
 it be so, show me it, and I am willing to retract, willing to be 
 any thing thou wouldest have me to be.' 
 
 " 15. — An affecting forenoon, in preaching from Ezek. x. IS. 
 An equally affecting afternoon from Psa. cxxv. 1. It seemed 
 needful to me, to contrast immoveableness with moveableness. 
 Exceedingly affected to-night in a conversation with the church? 
 on my going away. My heart, how it melts ! A good spirit 
 seemed to take place." 
 
 At length, it was proposed to refer the question to the arbi- 
 tration of three ministers, who should consider the case, as stated 
 in writing, both by Mr. Fuller and the church. On this step 
 being taken, he writes as follows : 
 
 <' Sept. 21 — Earnestly affected in prayer, that if it would be 
 most pleasing to God for me to stay, I might do so after all. I 
 should not be sorry if the arbitrators should judge this to be my 
 duty. My soul trembles for the ark of God. What will betide 
 the interest of Christ here ? ' Unto thee lift I up mine eyes, O 
 thou that dwellest in the heavens.' 
 
 ^ 22. — My heart much moved this morning. Psa.cxxiii. 1, 2. 
 was somewhat to me. Overcome in prayer, that God would 
 shine upon my path. O God, thou knowest that I am willing to 
 be any thing. It is my unfeigned desire, that not my will but 
 thine be done. Let not my ease, but thine honour be cor- 
 
MR, FULLEB. 43 
 
 Suited, Yes, O thou Searcher of hearts I I humbly, earnestly, 
 and unfeignedly desire of thee, that if my departure would 
 issue in the failure of thine interest here, never let me depart. 
 Let me rather go mourning all my days, in the bitterness of 
 my soul." 
 
 In a letter to the church at Kettering, not dated, but marked, 
 by Mr, Beeby Wallis, as received Oct. 2 I, 1781, Mr. Fuller 
 relates the issue of this arbitration. One minister seemed to 
 justify his removal, yet added, " But if he can be provided for at 
 Soham, without oppressing the poor, I wish he would continue 
 at least a little longer, and see what the Lord will do for and 
 by him.'* Another condemned it ; and a tliird declared he could 
 not tell what was duty in this case. 
 
 " We then agreed, (says Mr. Fuller,) that I and an officer of 
 the church should take the letters from all parties, on the 
 subject, and lay them before Mr. Robinson, of Cambridge ; and 
 that which he should judge duty in the case, we would follow, 
 unless it should appear, to both parties, that he was wrong. We 
 waited on Mr. R. yesterday, and, after an investigation of the 
 affair, for three or four hours, he gave it as his opinion, — ' That 
 Mr. Fuller ought to continue pastor of the said church, for one 
 whole year from this day, and after that time, if it should appear 
 that he can live on his income ; and that the people ought to 
 abide by their proposal to raise Mr. Fuller's income to x;26. a 
 year, clear of all deductions, as they had proposed.* 
 
 " On the 3d of October, I received a note from Mr. Hall, 
 (who was in London,)wherein he wishes me not to enter into 
 an engagement to be governed by the arbitration ; and suggests, 
 that, if my continuance at Soham should be thus determined, it 
 would be a reflection either on the wisdom or integrity of the 
 nine ministers whom I consulted at Kettering, or else on my- 
 self, for having related a partial tale, tending to lead them into 
 a deception. As to the former, I have only to say, however it 
 may look, I have certainly no inferior opinion of the wisdom or 
 integrity of the nine ministers to that of the arbitrators. I im- 
 pute it wholly to their hearing the matter but from one party ; 
 and as to the partiality of my tale, I refer you to what I said in 
 my last to you. 
 
 *< I dare not, indeed I dare not go contrary to the above de- 
 cision. I think it would be mocking God and the arbitrators 
 to be firevwusly resolved, what way to take. Would it not Vt 
 
44 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 like Ahab's asking counsel of Micaiah ? or the Jews of Jere^ 
 m'ah? Chap. xlii. I therefore must not comply with your invi» 
 tation. Mr. Robinson referred me to what it is that approves a 
 minister of God, in 2 Cor. vi. 4 — 8. and such things have no 
 small impression on my heart. 
 
 " I am at this time, a compound of feelings. I feel, dear 
 brethren, 1 painfully feel for you. I am distressed that a church 
 whose troubles were many before, should have them increased 
 through me. 1 feel myself unhappy lest my worthy brethren 
 and fathers in the ministry should think themselves slighted, of 
 which there is nothing that I am less conscious : and should 
 they, on this account slight me, it will very much grieve me ; 
 but I cannot help it. I hope they will consider what must nec- 
 essarily be my motives in this matter, and excuse me. I am 
 not without feelings, on my own account ; but these are not so 
 great as those for you. Blessed be God, I feel peace within, 
 let things issue as they will. I enjoy a consciousness of having 
 done every thing in this matter, as in the sight of Christ ; at 
 least, to the best of my knowledge. A passage in Mr. Hall's 
 letter to me, of April 28,1780, has, both yesterday and to-day, 
 been sweet to me : — ' How awfully mysterious are divine prov- 
 idences ! The Lord help us to approve and adore, with cordial 
 affections, the dispensations of God ! We shall, one day, see we 
 could not have been so well in any other condition as in that in 
 which the Lord has placed us, nor without the various afflictions 
 we meet with by the way. I have lately thought, that religion 
 is not designed to please us now, but \o Jirqfit us, to teach and 
 dispose us to filease God. And those who please him, he will 
 please them hereafter.' 
 
 "I am not without some fears, that, as the time of trial is 
 limited to one year^ you should some of you be hankering still 
 in your minds after me ; which if you should, it would make 
 me exceedingly unhappy. I do not mean to spend what I have, 
 but if possible, to live according to what I shall have coming in, 
 and to bow my shoulder to the yoke with contentment. It is 
 therefore, likely I shall stay longer, perhaps all my life. I 
 therefore humbly and most earnestly bcseecn you, by all that 
 belongs to your own welfare and my future peace, to drop all 
 thoughts whatever of my removal, and to look up and look out 
 for some other person to be your pastor. The great Head of 
 the church direct your choice ! 
 
MR. FULLER. 46 
 
 ' « Great happiness is what I do not look for now ; but it would 
 serve to increase the little I have remaining, to receive one 
 more letter from the church at Kettering ; or if that is too much 
 trouble, from Mr. Wallis, by the church's consent, expressing 
 these two things — That you entertain no hard thoughts of me, 
 as if I had in any respect used you ill —and that you give up 
 all thoughts of my removal, and intend toJook out elsewhere- 
 Give my love to any of the ministers whose judgment I con- 
 sulted, and tell them what I say. Accept the same to your- 
 selves. That Jehovah-jireh may see and provide for you, is, 
 my dear Brethren, the prayer of Yours, very affectionately, 
 
 « A. F." 
 This was indeed a grievous disappointment to the church at 
 Xettering, whose expectations of enjoying the blessing of Mr. 
 Fuller's ministry had been raised to a high degree, and were 
 now so unexpectedly disappointed. But though his best friends 
 in the ministry were ready to disapprove of the mode adopted 
 for settling the business, and especially of referring at last to 
 Mr. Robinson ; (who might have been suspected of a sinister 
 design, had he given different advice, as some of Mr. Fuller's 
 ablest friends lay just between Soham and Cambridge, and 
 nnght prefer attending his ministry, if their present pastor 
 should be removed,) yet they had no doubt of Mr. Fuller's being 
 actuated by self-denying principles, in continuing in his present 
 station. The church at Kettering also acquitted him of all 
 blame, and engaged Mr. Hall to apply to Bristol for a young 
 minister ; but were assured by Dr. Evans, that he knew of no 
 suitable person. Their exemplary deacon, Mr. Wallis, laid it 
 still more deeply to heart. A constitutional tendency to de- 
 jection led him to suspect that Mr. Fuller had perceived some 
 defect in him, that prevented his acceptance of their call ; or 
 that God himself suffered the church to meet with this disap- 
 pomtment, on his account. Mr. Fuller, who had the highest es- 
 teem for his character, soon removed the former suspicion, 
 and endeavoured by letter to counterwork the latter. Then- 
 former minister visited his friends at Kettering, towards the 
 close of 1781; but, though he spoke for about half an hour 
 twice on the Lord's day, there seemed to be no prospect of his 
 being able to resume his work, nor could they hear of any one 
 likely to suit them. 
 
46 
 
 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 In a letter to Mr. Wallis, dated March 13, 1782, Mr. Fulle? 
 observes — ' I am glad to hear Mr. M. has visited you, but 
 sorry that his affliction disables him from resuming the work 
 of the ministry. It would have rejoiced my heart both on his 
 and your account, to have heard of his being happily restored 
 to you again : but providence is a great deep. Our work seems to 
 be, not to scan, but to wonder and submit. These afflictions with 
 many other things we meet with here, are suited to a state of 
 trial, to discover to us our depravity, and bring our graces, our 
 love, patience, and submission to the proof. Read that golden 
 passage from Dr. Bellamy, in Mr. Ryland, jun.'s sermon, on 
 God's Exfierimental Probation of Intelligent Agents^ p. 45.* 
 
 At the Association, held at Olney, in 1782, Mr. Fuller was 
 one of the preachers, on June 5 ; but I believe he was prevented 
 from visiting Kettering, by the small-pox being in the town- 
 After his return, in a letter to Mr. Wallis, dated July 3, he re- 
 marks—" We have had a day of fasting and prayer since my 
 return : but nothing was said to me. It was a time of much 
 tenderness, with others and myself too ; however, I believe no 
 feelings will induce me to act, one way or other, contrary to 
 what I think is right in the sight of God. That is what I am 
 determined to do. A. F.** 
 
 On the 19th of July, in a letter to Mr. Wallis, he writes thus ^ 
 " You ask in yours, ' Will the Lord raise desires in his own 
 people, merely to disappoint them V You think not ; seeing 
 that God hath said, * The desire of the righteous shall be 
 granted.* Certainly, if God does excite desires, and then dis- 
 appoint them, it is for some higher end than merely their dis- 
 appointment. You will not think, dear Sir, that I mean to 
 discourage you, if I should say, the above explanation of the 
 text in Proverbs is inconsistent v^rith truth. I once heard a ser- 
 
 * "It is reasonable and fit, and a thing becoming and beautiful, that 
 beings in a state of probation should be tried '• and God looks upon the 
 present outward ease and comfort, even of his own people, as a matter of 
 no importance, compared with things spiritual and eternal. Eternity, with 
 all its importance, lies open to his view ; and time appears as a point, and 
 all its concerns as comparatively of no worth. If the wicked are in pros- 
 perity, and the righteous in adversity, or all things come alike to all, 
 God is well pleased ; because things of time are of so little importance, and 
 because such an administration of things is suited to a state of trial. 
 There will be time enough hereafter for the righteous to be rewarded, 
 and the wicked punished In this view of things, we may, in a measure, 
 understand the darkest, and account for the most mysterious dispensations 
 of providence, and discern the wisdom of the divine government." Preface 
 to Bellamifa True Religion Delineated, p. iii. This admirable book has 
 been repriuted, recommended by Mr. i'uUsrt 
 
MR. FPLLER, 47 
 
 nion,* from Psa. cxlv. 19. The minister proposed first to exfilain 
 his subject, and, in so doing, he delivered something like this : 
 * God will not grant us every desire. That is our mercy : for 
 (1.) Some of them are sinful. David desired to be revenged 
 on Nabal, and his innocent family. Jonah desired Nineveh's 
 ruin. (2.) Others would not be for our good, David desired 
 the life of the child he had by Bath-sheba ; David also desired 
 the life of Jonathan : neither of which would have been for his 
 good. (3.) Nay, not every righteous desire. It is a righteous 
 desire, for a minister to desire the salvation of those that hear 
 him. So Paul declared — I would to God that all that are here 
 present were altogether such as I am. Acts xxvi. 29. So again, 
 — I could wish myself accursed from Christ, for my brethren's 
 sake, my kinsmen according to the flesh ! Rom. ix. 1 . David 
 desired to build an house for God, and it was a righteous desire ; 
 for God took it well at his hands: yet he did not grant it. 
 Kings and prophets desired to see the Lord's Messiah, and yet 
 did not see him. How then are we to understand it ? Answer. 
 The «Mm, or substance of their desires shall be fulfilled. What 
 is the main desire of a seaman ? — that he may arrive at the 
 haven. So saints will be brought to their desired haven. What, 
 of a pilgrim ? See Heb. xi. 1 6. So all the desires of a Christian 
 are summed up in this — That he may eternally enjoy God, and 
 be like him. See 2 Sam. xxiii. 5.' Doubtless, there is great 
 mystery in these things : however, I think it is certain that when 
 God raises a spiritual desire in a person, it is often, though 
 not always, with an intention to bestow the object desired." 
 
 On the 20th of August, 1782, he writes thus to Mr. Wallis : 
 *< Since I saw you, though it is but a little time, yet I have had 
 great exercises. The day I parted with you, calling in the 
 evening on one of my friends, my feelings were tried by what 
 you know is the most effectual battery on my heart of any thing ; 
 I mean bitter weefiing. The Lord's day following, the meet- 
 ing-house, to say all in one word, was a Bochim I The most 
 unfeigned sorrow, I believe prevailed almost in every heart. 
 For my own part, 1 found it exceedingly difficult to gc on in 
 preaching, and to keep from weeping quite out 1 I hastened, 
 as soon as worship was over, to get alone, and there gave full 
 
 • When I transcribed this sermon, I suspected it Mas his owu, and ha^© 
 jjince ascertained it to have been so. 
 
48 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 vent to all my sorrow. We had a private evening meeting, 
 which was more trying to me than the day. I saw such a spirit 
 in the church in general, which had I seen half a year ago, 
 I could never had left them, come what would, whatever I do 
 now ! I went home to my house, with a heart full of distress, 
 and my strength nearly exhausted with the work and weeping 
 of the day. 
 
 « The next day, August 12, 1 devoted to fasting and prayer: 
 found special outgoings of heart, and encouragements to pray, 
 from many Scriptures. I scarcely remember such a day, for 
 tenderness and importunity in prayer, in my life. Two days 
 after, I felt my spirits all the morning exceedingly depressed; 
 got alone and found st heart to pray, with, I think, greater 
 importunity than I had done before. Oh ! it seemed as if 
 I must have my petitions granted, or I could not live ! This 
 last Lord's day was a tender day ; but not like the Lord's day 
 preceding, 
 
 " Truly Sir, nothing but the thoughts of an open door for 
 greater usefulness in Christ's cause, (Surely this is not an illu- 
 sion I) and my having been so engaged to pray for the coming 
 of Christ's kingdom, could have kept me from dropping all 
 opposition, and yielding to the church's desire. All their former 
 treatment towards me I cannot remember. I am constrained^ 
 not only to forgive it, but to forget it. And as to profit or rep- 
 utation, things at which I have been charged with aiming, these 
 seemed no more that the mire in the streets. I cannot say 
 what 1 shall do. 1 desire to be governed by judgment, and 
 mean to be so : but these things influence my judgment ; and 
 that which appeared clear before, has appeared doubtful since. 
 Some of my friends also, who thought my way clear before, 
 think it doubtful now. Oh ! it pains me to the heart, to put you 
 and my dear friends to so much pain. I have often of late, la- 
 mented before the Lord, my unhappy situation — that it should 
 be my lot to be reduced to the painful necessity, to say the 
 least, of injuring, at one place or the other, that cause which of 
 all things in the world I most dearly love. My dear friend, I 
 must beg of you not to have your expectations raised too much. 
 Indeed I am ashamed to mention their being raised at all ; only 
 I know how you are. Truly, I am not without a dread of being 
 made a curse to you, if I come. I feel such barrenness and 
 carnal-mindedness habitually prevail, as often has made me think 
 
MB. FULLER. 49 
 
 my labours would be blasted, be where I might. I know not 
 but such is your partial opinion of me, that you will be apt to im- 
 pute this to a peculiar sensibility of the plat^ue of my own hearli 
 but verily this is not the case. My soul is indeed like the lands 
 of Jericho, barren^ and almost all my services, like its waters, 
 naught : and, unless something extraordinary be done to the 
 spring-head of all, to heal the waters, like what was done by the 
 prophet Elisha, my barrenness will be my plague, and the plague 
 of those about me. 
 
 " I must farther beg of you not to move it to the church to 
 give me any farther call. If I leave Soham, I shall come, not 
 doubting their willingness to receive me ; and if not, the more 
 there is done by the church, as a church, towards it, the greater 
 will be their disappointment. For my own part, the language 
 of my heart is, ' Here I am ; let him do with me as seemeth 
 good to him.* I do not expect nor wait for extraordinary di- 
 rections. All I look for is, to have my way plain, my judgment 
 clear, and my conscience satisfied. Pray to the Lord, my dear 
 Sir, earnestly, yet submissively. I thought it right to give you 
 an honest account of things as above ; and I think it but right as 
 honestly to say on the other hand, that all things considered, not- 
 withstanding the check I have lately met with, the evidence for 
 removing rather preponderates, than that for continuing. 
 Meanwhile, till we see the issue of things, may we each become 
 dead to all created good, any farther than as it may subserve 
 the glory of God ! So desires 
 
 *' Your affectionate, but distressed friend, A. F." 
 
 The church at Kettering, however, did send him another in- 
 vitation ; and the following is Mr. Fuller's reply : 
 « To the church of Christ at Kettering. Soham, Sept. 22, 1782. 
 " Dear Brethren, 
 
 " Yours 1 received, and quite approve of your devoting a day 
 to fast and pray to the Lord, on such a solemn occasion. I 
 thank you for your remembrance of me and the church at Soham, 
 on that day, as well as for your kind and repeated invitation ; 
 to which I can only say, that if I should leave Soham at the time 
 you expect, I have no other thoughts than to comply. God only 
 knows how it will be wuh me, when the time comes. True it 
 is, I give the church here no reason to expect any thmg 
 but my removal : but such a spirit of lenderncss now take* 
 place among them, that it shakes my confidencej and thre»tefl> 
 7 
 
^0 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 to destroy my happiness, if I remove. It is true, I do habitually 
 think of removing ; but do not you expect it too much. Hold 
 Christ and your religion with a close hand, but me and every 
 other creature with a loose one. God can bless you without 
 me, and blast you with me. If I come, O that the Spirit of 
 God may come with me I Surely it is my habitual prayer-— 
 * If thy presence go not with me, carry me not up hence.* With 
 great respect and esteem, I remain, dear Brethren, Yours in 
 the gospel, A. F." 
 
 This painful conflict was at length brought to a close, and 
 Mr. Fuller removed to Kettering in October 1782. Yet still 
 the welfare of the people he had left lay near his heart : as is ev- 
 ident from the following letter addressed to one of them : 
 
 " Dear Brother, " Kettering, Dec. 4, 1782. 
 
 " How deep are the designs of Providence I ' Too deep to 
 sound with mortal lines,' Sec. Since I have been here, I have 
 bad various exercises of mind ; but the state of the church at 
 Soham has laid nearest of any thing ! Such has been the union 
 of affection between them and me, that I suppose no events in 
 time, and 1 hope none in eternity, will ever dissolve it. This, I 
 know, some would think to be scarcely reconcileable with my 
 conduct in leaving them ; but however it may appear, so it is* 
 I can truly say, ' Who among them is afflicted, and I burn not ?* 
 My earnest prayers have been in their calamity. I have not 
 yet seen any reason to repent of what I have done. The Lord 
 I think, has been with me hitherto, in my work, and in my pri- 
 vate retirements. But alas, poor people! they are destitute 1 
 Oh 1 this after all wounds me. O may He whose name is Je- 
 hovah-jiceh, see and provide for them ! I trust in God they 
 will l)e prrovided for. I hear that they keep together, and are in a 
 good spirit. Tiie Lord who loves his cause better than we can^ 
 will not suffer, I think, people of such a spirit to fall to the 
 giound. I have many other things to say to you ; but I trust 
 shortly to see you. Meanwhile, farewel. The Lord be with 
 you I Your affectionate Brother, A. F." 
 
 Long, however, as the people at Kettering had been waiting 
 for him, Mr. F. was not settled as their pastor, till he had been 
 with them about twelve months. 
 
 He was previously received as a member, on the following 
 letter of dismission from the church to which he originally 
 belonged : — 
 
MR, FULLER. 51 
 
 " The church of Christ at Soham, of the Baptist denomination, 
 to the church of Christ at Kettering of the same denoraination, 
 sendeth Christian salutations. 
 
 " Dear Brethren, 
 
 " Inasmuch as you have requested, that our Brother and for- 
 mer pastor, Mr. Andrew Fuller, should be dismissed to you 
 we accordingly comply therewith ; though it pains our hearts, 
 and renews our former grief On the thoughts of such a re- 
 quest, we are ready to give ear to the voice that cried in Ezekiel's 
 hearing, * O wheel I' His ways are in the great deep, and his 
 footsteps past finding out. 
 
 " O that Peter's wish may be accomplished in us-^< That the 
 trial of our faith, being much more precious than that of gold 
 which perisheth, might be found to praise and glory, at the 
 appearing of the Lord Jesus Christ 1* 
 
 " With regard to Mr. Fuller's conduct, as a Christian, while 
 he was with us, we have nothing to lay to his charge. It was, 
 in many respects, very amiable. Relative to his ministerial 
 character — his faithfulness, wisdom, tenderness, and freeness 
 with his friends, were the things which captivated our hearts, 
 and united our affections to him, which make our parting the 
 more trying. But we wish that our loss may be your gain. We 
 therefore consent to grant your request; and hereby dismiss him 
 to you, as a church of the living God, of the same faith and 
 order with ourselves. 
 
 " Now, upon your reading and approving of this his dismis- 
 sion to you, and your formal receiving of him, we thereupon, 
 (and not till then) pronounce his open communion with us to 
 cease, and immediately with you to commence. And that it 
 may be to the increase of the Redeemer's kingdom with you, 
 and the promotion of his interest at large, is the desire of 
 
 " Yours, in the bonds of Christian love, 
 
 (Signed, in behalf of Wm. Bakret ; > ^^^^^^^ 
 
 the whole Church, John West ; 3 
 
 Aug. 10,1783.) John Fuller; 
 
 P. K. Staples J 
 John Lofts." 
 
 At Mr. Fuller's settlement, which did not take place till 
 October 7, 1783, the work of the day was introduced by Mr- 
 John Evans, of Foxton. The account of the leadings of Prov- 
 
52 
 
 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 idence given by the church, was very affcctinij j and so was 
 Mr. Fuller's narration of his exercises of mind, and his Con- 
 fession of Faith. One of the ministers present, I know, was 
 much moved by it, and made ashamed of his own defects. 
 Mr. Hairs discourse was very instructive ; though his excess 
 of modesty, and his high respect for his younger brother, in- 
 duced him not to give him a charge^ but only express a wish — 
 " The Lord Jesus Christ be with thy spirit." 2 Tim. iv. 22. 
 
 Mr. Ryland, jun.* preached to the people, from Acts xx. SI- 
 The Rev. Messrs. David Evans, of Thorne ; SutclifF, of Olney ; 
 Symmonds, of Bedford ; and Coles, of Long Buckby ; engaged 
 in prayer. 
 
 Mr. David Evans preached in the evening, from Psa. xxv. 
 3 — "Let them be ashamed that transgress without cause." — A 
 solid, judicious, discourse. It was altogether a day long to be 
 remembered. 
 
 A copy of Mr. Fuller's statement of the circumstances 
 which induced his removal, and of his Confession of Faith, 
 having been found among his papers, will be here inserted. 
 The following is his statement of the circumstances which in- 
 duced his removal, and of the exercises of his mind on that 
 occasion : 
 
 *' For me to enter minutely into this affair, might perhaps, 
 be attended with too great a revival of feelings for me, at this 
 time and place, to sustain ; and, as the affair is so well known by 
 many here present, I must beg to be indulged in being short. 
 
 " It seems a strange thing that is come upon me 1 I seem? 
 still at times, as if I could scarcely believe it to be true I I was 
 always averse to removals, and had inured myself to look upon 
 them with a jealous eye. I do not, therefore, wonder that 
 others have done the same by mine. I suppose, there was a 
 time when, if any one had suggested the idea of my removal, 
 it would have seemed, to me, a strange, unlikely thing. But 
 
 however, it was so it is come to pass ! 
 
 " I imagine, it will not be expected that I should enter upon 
 a vindication of my conduct in that affair. I only say this : 
 There were several things concurred together, to make me, 
 first, hesitate whether it was my duty to abide where I was, and> 
 
 • My fuller was in London at this time. Neither Mr. Martin, nor Mr. 
 liooth was at Kettering. If they had come from London on purpose to 
 he present I am persuaded they woulcl have beeix employed in some part 
 of the 6ervi««. R, 
 
MR. FULLER. 53 
 
 afterwards, to think it was not. Desirous, however, of doing 
 nothing rashly, I was determined to wait a considerable time, 
 before I did any thing. My chief desire, I think, was to pre- 
 serve a conscience void of offence, towards God and towards 
 man. I had, all along, much jealousy of my own heart, and 
 many fears. I frequently laid my case before God, in prayer, 
 with much more importunity than I usually feel. I sometimes 
 devoted days on purpose for fasting and prayer, on the occasion- 
 On some of those days, partly for the church at Soham, and 
 partly for myself, I had, I think, the most earnest outgoings of 
 heart to the Lord, that ever I felt in my life. I consulted many 
 friends, ministers upon the spot, (who knew the case,) and 
 ministers at a distance. I think, to nine of them, some of whom 
 are here present, I told the case as impartially as I was able, 
 and asked their advice. Still my heart felt reluctant at the 
 thoughts of a removal. I submitted the case to three or four 
 indifferent persons, who heard the particulars on both sides. 
 The issue was, I stayed another year. At that time, it was my 
 purpose to remain for life. I told the church at Kettering, in 
 a letter, to that eifect. But I soon found, that reproach — re" 
 proach unlamented — had broken my heart ! The bond of my 
 affection was dissolved. I could not feel a union of spirit ; 
 without which, I could not continue. In proportion as I de- 
 spaired of this, I felt my heart incline towards the church at 
 Kettering. At length, impelled by several motives, (of some of 
 which, especially, I think I shall not be ashamed at the day of 
 judgment,) I removed ! — a painful event to me. I have, haw- 
 ever, one consolation remaining — that, as far as I know, I acted 
 herein to the best of my judgment and conscience. Yet, after 
 all, I have had many relentings, and many reflections upon 
 some parts of my conduct ; as well as fears lest the Lord should 
 blast me in the future part of my life : for, though 1 have never, 
 to this day, thought ^Ae Mm^' itself ioh^ wrong; yet I have, 
 upon review, seen a great deal of vanity mixing itself in my 
 motives, and a great deal of folly in some parts of my conduct, 
 for all which I desire to be ashamed. 
 
 « Since my removal hither, I have found much outgoing of 
 heart for the' welfare of Christ's kingdom, particularly in this 
 part of Zion. When repeatedly requested to take this office 
 upon me, I have not been without my fears ; and, might I have 
 indulged that sort of feeling, 1 suppose I should not have ac- 
 
54 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 cepted their invitation for the present. But I wish to attend to 
 the voice of rfM^z/. Duty seemed to call for my compliance. I, 
 therefore, applied for, and received, a dismission from the 
 church at Soham to the church at Kettering ; and have resigned 
 myself up, to serve them in the Lord. I wish it may be for 
 the glory of Christ, and their good : though, I must own, the 
 pleasure of this day is marred to me, because a union with the 
 one church cannot be effected but by a disunion with the other.'* 
 
 The following is a copy of Mr. Fuller's statement of his re- 
 ligious principles : 
 
 « I. — When I consider the heavens and the earth, with their 
 vast variety, it gives me reason to believe the existence of a 
 God of infinite wisdom, power, and goodness, that made and 
 upholds them all. Had there been no written revelation of God 
 given to us, I should have been without excuse, if 1 had denied 
 a God, or refused to glorify him as God. 
 
 « II. — Yet, considering the present state of mankind, I be- 
 lieve we needed a revelation of the mind of God, to inform us 
 more fully of his and our own character, of his designs towards 
 us, and will concerning us : and such a revelation I believe the 
 Scriptures of the Old and New Testament to be, without ex- 
 cepting any one of its books ; and a perfect rule of faith and 
 practice. When I acknowledge it as a perfect rule of faith 
 and practice, I mean to disclaim all other rules, as binding on 
 my conscience ; and as well, to acknowledge, that if I err, either 
 in faith or practice, from this rule, it will be my crime ; for I 
 have ever considered all deviations from divine rules to be 
 criminal. 
 
 " III In this divine volume, I learn many things con- 
 cerning God, which I could not have learned from the works of 
 nature, and the same things in a more convincing light. Here 
 I learn, especially, the infinitely amiable moral character of 
 God. His holiness, justice, faithfulness, and goodness, are here 
 exhibited in such a light, by his holy law and glorious gospel, as 
 is nowhere else to be seen. 
 
 « Here also I learn, that, though God is One, yet he also is 
 Three — the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. The idea 
 which I think the Scriptures give us of each of the Sacred 
 Three, is that of f^erson. 
 
 « I believe the Son of God to be truly and properly God, 
 equal with the Father and the Holy Spirit. 
 
MR. FULLER. 55 
 
 « Every thing I see in this sacred mystery, appears to me 
 above reason, but nothing contrary to it. 
 
 " IV. — I believe, from the same authority, that God created 
 man in the image of his own glorious moral character, a proper 
 subject of his moral government, with dispositions exactly suited 
 to the law he was under, and capacity equal to obey it to the 
 uttermost, against all temptations to the contrary. I believe, if 
 Adam, or any holy being, had had the making of a law for 
 himself, he would have made just such an one as God's law is ; 
 for it would be the greatest of hardships to a holy being, not 
 to be allowed to love God with all his heart, and with all his 
 soul, and with all his mind. 
 
 " V. — I believe, the conduct of man, in breaking the law of 
 God, was most unreasonable and wicked in itself, as well as 
 fatal in its consequences to the transgressor ; and that sin is of 
 such a nature, that it deserves all that wrath and misery with 
 which it is threatened, in this world and in that which is to 
 come. 
 
 " VI. — I believe, the first sin of Adam was not merely /2?r- 
 so?ialy but that he stood as our refireseiitative ; so that, when 
 he fell, we fell in him, and became liable to condemnation and 
 death ; and what is more, are all born into the world with a 
 vile propensity to sin against God. 
 
 " I own, there are some things in these subjects, which ap» 
 pear to me profound and awful ; but seeing God hath so 
 plainly revealed them in his word, especially in the 5th chapter 
 of the epistle to the Romans, I dare not but bow my shallow 
 conceptions to the unerring testimony of God ; not doubting 
 but that he will clear his own character sufficiently at the last 
 day. At the same time, I know of no other system that rep« 
 resents these subjects in a more rational light. 
 
 « VII. — I believe, as I before stated, that men are now born 
 and grow up with a vile propensity to moral evil, and that herein 
 Jies their inability to keep God*s law ; and as such, it is a 
 moral and a criminal inability. Were they but of a right dis- 
 position of mind, there is nothing now in the law of God but 
 what they could perform ; but, being wholly under the do- 
 minion of sin, they have no heart remaining for God, but are 
 full of wicked aversion to him. Their very mind and conscience 
 are dejiled. Their ideas of the excellence of good, and of the 
 evil of sin, are as it were, obliterated. 
 
56 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 « These are subjects which seem to me, of very great im- 
 portance. I conceive, that the whole Arminian, Socinian, and 
 Antinomian systems, so far as I understand them, rest upon 
 the supposition of these principles being false. So that, if it 
 should be found, at last, that God is an infinitely excellent be- 
 ing, worthy of being loved with all that love which his law re- 
 quires ; that, as such, his law is entirely fair and equitable, 
 and that for God to have required less, would have been denying 
 himself to be what he is ; and if it should appear, at last, that 
 man is utterly lost, and lies absolutely at the discretion of God ; 
 then, I think it is easy to prove, the whole of these systems 
 must fall to the ground. If men, on account of sin, lie at the 
 discretion of God, the equity, and even necessity, of predesti- 
 nation cannot be denied ; and so the Arininian system falls. If 
 the law of God is right and good, and arises from the very na- 
 ture of God, Ahtinomianism cannot stand. And if we are 
 such great sinners, we need a great Saviour, infinitely greater 
 than the Socinian Saviour. 
 
 " VIII — From what I have said, it must be supposed, that 
 I believe the doctrine of eternal personal election and predes- 
 tination. However^ I believe, that, though in the choice of the 
 elect God had no motive out of himself, yet it was not so in 
 respect to punishing the rest. What has been usually, but 
 perhaps, improperly, called the decree of reprobation^ I consider 
 as nothing more than the divine determination to punish sin^ in 
 certain cases, in the person of the sinner, 
 
 " IX.— I believe, that the fall of man did not at all disconcert 
 the Great Eternal ; but that he had from eternity formed a plan 
 upon the supposition of that event, (as well knowing that so it 
 would be,) and that, in this everlasting covenant, as it is called, 
 the Sacred Three, (speaking after the manner of men,) stipu- 
 lated with each other for the bringing about their vast and 
 glorious design. 
 
 « X. — The unfolding of this glorious plan to view, I believe, 
 has been a gradual ivork from the beginning. First, it was 
 hinted to our first parents, in the promise of the woman's 
 seed ; then, by the institution of sacrifices, by types, prophe- 
 cies, and promises, it was carried on, throughout the Mosaic 
 dispensation : at length, the Son of God appeared, took our 
 nature, obeyed the law, and endured the curse, and hereby made 
 full and proper atonement for the sins of his own elect ; rose 
 
MR. FULLER. bt 
 
 again from the dead, commissioned his apostles to go into all 
 the world and preach his gospel, and then tiiumphaiitly as- 
 cended above all heavens, where he sitteth at the right hand of 
 God, interceding for his people, and governing the world in 
 subserviency to their welfare, till he shall come a second time 
 to judge the world. 
 
 " I cannot reflect upon this glorious procedure, with its 
 all glorious Author, without emotions of wonder and gratitude. 
 As a workman, he might be truly said to have his nvork before 
 him I At once he glorified the injured character of God, and 
 confounded the devil — destroyed sin, and saved the sinner ! 
 
 <* XI — I believe, that such is the excellence of this way of 
 salvation, that every one who hears, or has opportunity to hear 
 it proclaimed in the gospel, is bound to repent of his sin, be- 
 lieve, approve, and embrace it with all his heart ; to consider 
 himself, as he really is, a vile, lost sinner ; to reject all preten- 
 sions to life in any other way ; and to cast himself upon Christ, 
 that he may be saved in this way of God's devising. This I 
 think to be true faith, which whoever have, I believe, will 
 certainly be saved. 
 
 " XII. — But, though the way of salvation is in itself so glo° 
 rious, that a man must be an enemy to God, to mankind, and to 
 himself, not to approve it ; yet I believe, the pride, ignorance, 
 enmity, and love to sin in men, is such, that they will not come 
 to Christ for life ; but, in spite of all the calls or threatenings 
 of God, will go on, till they sink into eternal perdition Hence, 
 I believe, arises the necessity of an almighty work of God the 
 Spirit, to new-model the whole soul, to form in us new princi- 
 ples or dispositions ; or, as the Scriptures call it, to give us 
 a new heart and a neiu s/iirit. I think, had we not first de- 
 generated, we had stood in no need of being rege?ierated ; but 
 as we are by nature, depraved, we must be born again. The 
 influence of the Spirit of God, in this work, I believe to be 
 always effectual. 
 
 « XIII. — I believe, the change that takes place in a person at 
 the time of his believing in the Lord Jesus Christ, is not only 
 real, but relative. Before our believing in Christ, we are con- 
 sidered and treated by God, as a lawgiver, as under condemna- 
 tion ; but having fled to him for refuse, the law, as to its con- 
 demning power, hath no more dominion over us, but we are 
 8 
 
,')8 MEMOIRS OP 
 
 treated, even by God the judge, as in a state of justification. 
 Tiie subject-matter of justification, I believe to be nothing of 
 our own moral excellejice ; but the righteousness of Christ, 
 alone, imputed to us, and received by faith. 
 
 " Also I believe, that, before we believe in Christ, 
 notwithstanding the secret purpose of God in our favour, we 
 are considered, by the moral Governor of the world, as aliens, 
 as children of wrath, even as others ; but that, on our beiievmg 
 on his Son, we are considered as no more strangers and for- 
 eigners, but are admitted into his family, and have power, or 
 privilege, to become the sons of God ! 
 
 " XIV.— .1 believe, all those who are effectually called of God 
 never fall away, so as to perish everlastingly ; but persevere in 
 holiness, till they arrive at endless happiness. 
 
 a XV. — I believe, it is the duty of every minister of Christ 
 plainly and faithfully to preach the gospel to ail who will hear 
 it ; and, as I believe the inability of men to spiritual things to 
 be wholly of the morale and therefore, of the criminal kind— . 
 and that it is their duty to love the Lord Jesus Christ, and trust 
 in him for salvation, though they do not ; I, therefore, believe 
 free and solemn addresses, invitations, calls and warnings to 
 them, to be not only consistent^ but directly ada/itedy as means, 
 in the hand of the Spirit of God, to bring them to Christ. I 
 consider it as a part of my duty, which I could not omit without 
 being guilty of the blood of souls. 
 
 *' XVI.— I believe, the ordinances which Christ, as King of 
 Zion, has instituted for his church to be found in, throughout 
 the gospel day, are especially two ; namely, Baptism and the 
 Lord's Supper. I believe the subjects of both to be those who 
 profess repentance towards God, and faiih towards our Lord 
 Jesus Christ ; and on such 1 consider them as incumbent du- 
 ties, I believe it essential to Christian Baptism, that it be by 
 immersion^ or burying the person in water, in the name of the 
 Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. I likewise believe. Bap- 
 tism, as administered by the primitive church, to be fircrequi' 
 site to church communion ; hence I judge what is called strict 
 communion to be consistent with the word of God. 
 
 " XVII. — Although I disclaim personal holiness, as having 
 any share in our justijicatinn^ I consider it absolutely neces- 
 sary to salvation ; for without it *no man shall see the Lord 
 
JVIR< FULLER. 59 
 
 " XVIII. — I believe the soul of man is created immortal ; 
 and that, when the body dies, the soul returns to God who gave 
 it, and there receives an immediate sentence, either to a state 
 of happiness or misery, there to remain till the resurrection of 
 the dead. 
 
 *' XIX — As I said that the developement of God's plan has 
 been gradual from the beginning, so I believe this gradation 
 nvill be beautifully and gloriously carried on. I firmly and joy- 
 fully believe, that the kingdom of Christ will yet be gloriously 
 extended, by the pouring out of God's Spirit upon the ministry 
 of the word : and I consider this as an event, for the arrival of 
 which it becomes all God's servants and churches most ardent- 
 ly to pray ! It is one ot liie chief springs of my joy in this day of 
 small things^ that it will not be so always. 
 
 " XX Finally, 1 believe that Cnrist will come a second 
 
 time, not as before, to save the world, but to judge the world. 
 Tnere, in the presence of an assembled universe, every son and 
 daughter of Adam shall appear at God's tremendous bar, and 
 give account of the things done in the body ; there sinners, es- 
 pecially those who have rejected Christ, (God's way of salva- 
 tion,) will be convicted, confounded, and righteously condemned ! 
 These shall go away into everlasting punishment : but the 
 righteous, who through grace have embraced Christ, and fol- 
 lowed him whithersoever he went, shall follow him there like- 
 wise, and enter with him into the eternal joy of their Lord. 
 This solemn event, I own, on some accounts, strikes me with 
 trembling ; yet on others, I cannot but look on it with a mixture 
 of joy. When I consider it as the period when God will be 
 vindicated from all the hard thoughts which ungodly sinners 
 have indulged, and the hard speeches which they have spoken 
 against him ; when all wrongs shall be righted, tiijth brought 
 to light, and justice done where none here could be obtained ; 
 when the whole empire of sin, misery, and death shall sink 
 like a millstone, into the sea of eternal oblivion, and never arise 
 more ; when God's whole plan shall be exposed to the view of 
 admiring millions ;— when, I say, 1 consider it in this view, I 
 cannot but look upon it as an object of joy, and wish my time 
 may be spent in this world, in <• looking for and hasting unto the 
 coming of the day of God.* " 
 
MEMOIRS OF MR. FULLER* 
 
 CHAP. IV. 
 
 EXTRACTS FROM HIS PRIVATE DIART, BEGII7NIN6 JUNE 
 3, 1780, AND ENDING JANUARY 10, 1782. 
 
 CONSIDERABLE use has already been made of this man- 
 uscript in the preceding Chapter; wherein many extracts were 
 inserted from it, indicating his tender regard for the people with 
 whom he was first united, and his conscientious concern, when 
 he found it necessary to think of leaving them, to do nothing 
 contrary to the divine will. 
 
 I shall now make a more general use of it, to show in how 
 remarkable a degree he watched over his own heart, and con- 
 stantly maintained a conflict with indwelling sin ; and also, how 
 anxiously he was concerned for the success of his ministry, 
 and the spiritual welfare of his people. 
 
 I will transcribe the substance of what is recorded in the^r^^ 
 two months^ just in the order of time. 
 
 "June 14, 1780. — Went out to visit some fallen brethren. 
 Convinced that no art was necessary in religion, resolved to 
 
MR. FULLER. 61 
 
 proceed with all plainness and openness. Did so, and hope 
 for good effects. Left each party with weeping eyes . . But oh ! 
 how liable to sin myself ! 
 
 « 16. — Felt the importance of religion, and a desire of seeing 
 the glory of Christ, and being conformed to his image. Saw a 
 beauty in Eccles. xii. 13. — ' Fear God, and keep his command- 
 ments : for this is the whole of man.* 
 
 « June 17, 1780 — Some light, but little life. A great part 
 *of the day, how dull! O that what little light I have had, had 
 been more transforming I Have been thinking on 1 Cor. iii. 18. 
 ^-but, oh ! how little changed ! I think I have seen one thing 
 to-day — That speaking ostentatiously of any thing laudable in 
 ourselves, is the way to mar all the peace or pleasure that we 
 enjoy in it. I think I see that this is a sin which easily besets 
 me, and which needs being guarded against. 
 
 « 1 8 . — I found a solid satisfaction to-day, in preaching in a 
 searching manner, from 1 Cor. xi. 31. — * If we would judge 
 ourselves, we should not be judged :' but wish to feel it more. 
 
 « 20 — O how my days are spent 1 Grace, how inactive ! Sin, 
 how active ! Surely exaggeration is a sin that easily besets me ! 
 May I be more upon my watch against it ! 
 
 *' 2 1 . — What ! have the powers of grace and sin concluded a 
 truce ? I feel to-day, as if both lay nearly still ; as if I were 
 strangely destitute of all thought ; devoid of pleasure, carnal 
 or spiritual ; or sorrow, whether godly or worldly. 
 
 « 22. — O that I might feel more of the power of religion, 
 and know more of the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge I 
 I think I see divine excellence in such a life. O that thou 
 wouldest bless me indeed, and enlarge my coast ! I am going, 
 God willing, to visit a friend to-day. O that a spirit of watch- 
 fulness, savour, and fellowship with Christ may attend me ! 
 
 *<• 24. — I see what a strait course it is to steer between legality 
 and libertinism. I have been for some time, trying to walk 
 more closely with God ; and now I find the sparks of self-right- 
 eous pride begin to kindle. I have been thinking to-day of 
 Isaiah ii. 11. I have reason to be humbled for having so little 
 humility : yet I think I have tasted a sweetness in that plan of 
 redemption which stains the pride of all flesh. 
 
62 MEMOIRS OV 
 
 " 25. (Lord's day) — Felt satisfaction in preaching, and in 
 hearing J. F. relate his experience. O that I may feel more of 
 the haughtiness of my heart brought down ! 
 
 " 26. — Dull and unaffected. How soon do I sink from the 
 spirit of the gospel ! I have need of thine intercession, O Lord 
 Jesus, that my faith fail not. 
 
 " 27. — O how difficult is my situation ! Providence seems 
 to go against me, yet I am in a strait what to do. Lord, 
 and what shall 1 do ? O that thine hand might be with me, 
 and that tliou wouldst keep me from evil5that it may not grieve 
 me ! 
 
 '* 28 — Have found my heart tenderly affected several times, 
 especially to-night, in prayer respecting my critical situation. 
 Oh ! Providence, how intricate ! If rough roads are marked 
 out for me, may my shoes be iron and brass ! I found, to-day, 
 a peculiar sympathy towards poor people under trying provi- 
 dences : thinking I may have to go that road. * Teach me 
 to do thy will, for thou art my God : thy spirit is good, lead me 
 into the land of uprightness !* 
 
 "29 — It is good to visit the poor, that we may know their 
 cases, exercise sympathy and charity towards them, and learn 
 gratitude, and many a lesson in the doctrine of providence. 
 
 " O what a horrid depth of pride and hypocrisy do I find in 
 my heart ! Surely I am unfit for any company. If I am with a 
 su/ierior, how will my heart court his praise, by speaking di- 
 minutively of myself, not forgetting to urge the disadvantages 
 under which I have laboured, to excuse my inferiority ; and here 
 is a large vacancy left, in hope he will fill it up with something 
 like this — ' Well, you must have made good improvement of 
 what advantages you have enjoyed.' On the other hand, when 
 in company with an inferior, how full of self am I ! While I 
 seem to be instructing him by communicating my observations, 
 how prone to lose sight of /iis edification, and everything but 
 my own self importance ; aiming more to discover my own 
 knowledge, than to increase his ! 
 
 « While I make these observations, I feel the truth of them. 
 A thought has been suggested to write them, not as having 
 been working in my heart to-day, but only as discovered to-day. 
 Oh horridly deceitful and desperately wicked heart ! Surely I 
 
MR. FULLER. 63 
 
 bave little else in my religious exercises, but these workings. I 
 am afraid of being ueceived at last. If I am saved, what must 
 the Son ot God have endured ! 
 
 " Juiy 1 — My soul has been dejected to-day, in thinking on 
 the plague of the human heart; but I have been sweetly 
 refreshed to-night, by a hymn of Dr. Watts, (85th, Second 
 Book,) * Why does your face, ye humble souls,' Sec. This was 
 my dear Biother Dner's funeral hymn. I had a sweet time in 
 prayer to night. Through the glass of my depravity, I see, O 
 i see the preciousness of that blood which flowed on Calvary ! 
 
 that the ideas I have had to-night were written indellibly on 
 my heart 1 But alas I one hour of sin will, 1 fear, efface 
 them all. 
 
 *' July 2, 1780— Surely my views of myself, of divine love, 
 and of the blood of Christ, never were clearer, nor yielded me 
 greater satisfaction, than last night and to-day. I retained the 
 savour throui^hout this forenoon, though it seems abated this 
 afternoon. Well, it has been a time of refreshment to my soul. 
 But, perhaps I may have somewhat at hand to balance it. O 
 that I could retain the ideas I have had to-day ! I thought God 
 was buch an infinitely lovely being, that it was a great sin not to 
 love him with our whole hearts. I thought one perpetual flame 
 of supreme love was his natural due from every intelligent 
 creature, and that the want of such love merits damnation. And 
 
 1 am under peculiar obligations to love him. 
 
 <» 4.-Alas ! how strange it is ! Those things, of which, a day 
 or two ago, I could not think without a flood of tears, I now feel 
 make little impression on my mind, which seems in a slug- 
 gish, jaded, and almost sceptical frame. Ah ! how soon are 
 those ideas effaced I When shall my love be one eternal flame ? 
 I fear some trial is at hand. O may the Lord keep me ! 
 
 " 5.-I found some pleasure to-day, in preaching from Hos> 
 xiii. 9. ' O Israel, thou hast destroyed thyself. Sec. I love to 
 open the purity and extent of God's righteous law, and thereby 
 the depravity of human nature. Here I see the greatness of 
 grace. 
 
 " 6. — Dull and unaffected. I sometimes feel a spirit of idle 
 sceptical despair ; as if the difficulties that attend the finding- 
 out what is truth and duty were insurmountable. O Lord, keep 
 
u 
 
 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 Up in me a spirit of activity, and teach me to know and do thy 
 will. May I know what is that good, perfect, and acceptable 
 will of God ! 
 " 7.-Heaviness of heart makes me stoop. 
 
 O time, how cJogg'd with cares! 
 How pregnant lite with ills! 
 Sin, like some poisonous spring, my eup 
 AVith dregs of sorrow fills. 
 
 But why do I cry by reason of my affliction ; on account of 
 mine iniquities do these things come upon me. O Lord, how 
 justly mightest thou open ten thousand springs of wo, ten thou- 
 sand flood-gates of sorrow, and let them all in upon me. Yet 
 thy mercies are new every morning : it is of the Lord's mercies 
 that I am not consumed. 
 
 " 10. — I had an affecting time to-night, in going a road 
 where, about twelve or thirteen years ago, I had many a season 
 of sorrow and joy. O here I saw myself lost, there I had a sight 
 of the Saviour ; here I went bowed down with fear and despair, 
 there I was sweetly cheered with a view of the faithfulness of 
 God ; in this place I mourned my desolate state, in that the 
 state of the church l,ay heavily upon me ; yonder my hopes 
 respecting the church were excited, by thinking of Psa. cKxii. 
 1, 2, 8, 9. O what strange events since I By the help of God I 
 have continued to this day. When my soul is cast down within 
 me, may I ' remember thee from the land of Jordan, and of the 
 Hermoniies from the hill Mizar I' 
 
 « 12. — O wretched man that I am ! who shall deliver me 
 from the body of this death 1 O mine iniquity ! Surely I had 
 rather die than feel again what I have felt of the odoius risings 
 of this unholy heart. O the wormwood and the gall I Tremble 
 my soul, at the rising of that which has so often filled thy cup 
 with bitterness ; that which made thy Lord, as it were, shrink 
 back from suffering ! O may the remembrance of this make 
 thee shrink back from sinning ! Surely the renewal of a fresh 
 conflict with old corruptions is not the trial I feared ? Lead me 
 not into temptation, but deliver me from evil, O Lord ! 
 
 " 15. — Alas 1 with what can I go forth to-morrow? My 
 power* are all shackled, my thoughts contracted. Yesterday 
 
MR. FULLER. 65 
 
 and this morning, I seemed to feel some savour ; but now, all is 
 gone, like the seed by the way-side, which the fowls of the air 
 devoured. 
 
 " Bless the Lord 1 To-night I have felt a melting sense of 
 the heinous nature of backsliding from the Lord, while thinking 
 on Jcr. ii. 5. 31. — 33. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that 
 is within me bless his holy name. He maketh me to renew my 
 strength like the eagle, dissolves my hardness, disappoints my 
 fears, and touches my lips as with a live coal from his altar. 
 Bless the Lord, O my soul ! 
 
 "July 16, 1780. — Last night I thought I looked upon the 
 approaching Lord's day as wearing this motto — ' Holiness to the 
 Lord ;' but to-day, how have I been teased with vain thoughts 
 that lodge within me. Yet I was helped through the day, and 
 found it on the whole, < a good day,' though not so savoury as I 
 could have wished. 
 
 " 18. — Great part of this day sadly mispent: but have had a 
 sweet evening, in views of the latter day glory, from reading 
 Isaiah xi. xii.* How dark the day in which I live ! * Watchmen, 
 what of the night ? Watchmen, what of the night ?' 
 
 « 19. — I have this day had a proof of my weakness. Being 
 engaged in a controversy, I found my spirit too much stirred. 
 O how unfit am 1 for controversy If 
 
 « 20 — O peace, thou inestimable jewel! The Lord grant I 
 may never enter the polemical lists If 
 
 * LiUle did he then think, that in twelve years more, he shouhl assist ia 
 the first formation of one Missionary Society, which for twenty-three years, 
 should call forih all his energies, as tlieir Secretary ; and which would send 
 forth to the East Indies, laborious and faithful Missionaries, who (besides 
 turning many from the worship of idols, to serve the living and the true 
 God, and to wait for his Son from heaven, even Jesus, who saveth U3 from 
 the wrath to come,) would also, before the time of his death have made 
 great progress in translating the Scriptures into twentt/- seven languages ; 
 ■while many other Societies would be formed, both in Britain and America, 
 for the same purpose of opening the door of faith to the Gentiles. R. 
 
 t As little also did he imagine, how much of this sort of work he must do 
 for God ; who intended to make him ** valiant for the trtith o\i the earth," 
 and to render him one of the most able, tempt rate, cautious, and useful 
 controversial writers of his time ; a strenuous defender of evangelical 
 truth, against False t'alvinisra and Antinoraianism, and likfwise against th* 
 Arrainians, Socinians, Deists, Universalists, and Sandemaniana. R» 
 
 9 
 
66 IVIEMOIRS OF 
 
 " 21. — Dejected, through worldly and church concerns ; but 
 had some relief, to-night, in casting ail my care upon the Lord, 
 hoping that he careth for me. The Lord undertake forme 1 
 O thou that managest worlds unknown, without one disap- 
 pointment, take my case into thy hand, and fit me for thy 
 pleasure. If poverty must be my portion, add thereto con- 
 tentment. 
 
 " 22. — Ah ! how heavily do I drag on without the Lord ! I 
 can neither think, nor do any thing to purpose. Lord, help 
 me ! Sin how deceitful ! While we may obtain an apparent 
 victory over one sin, we may be insensibly enslaved to another : 
 it may seem to flee before us, like the men of Israel before tire 
 Benjamites, and yet retain an ambushment, to fall upon our 
 rear. 
 
 u 27.- — O what an ocean of impurity have I still within me ! 
 What vain desires lodge in my smful heart ! Rich must be the 
 blood that can atone, infinitely efficacious the grace that can 
 purify, and inconceivable the love that can remain without the 
 shadow ot turning, amidst all this vileness ! O, had every 
 creature in heaven and earth joined in assuring me of God's 
 love to me, surely I could never have believed it, but for the 
 assurances grounded on his own word ! 
 
 « 29 Surely I do not sufficiently study the cases of the 
 
 people, in my preaching I I find, by conversation to-day, with 
 one seemingly in dying circumstances, that but little of my 
 preaching has been suited to her case. Visiting the sick, and 
 conversing sometimes even with the unconverted part of my 
 hearers, about their souls, and especially with the godly, would 
 have a tendency to make my preaching more experimental. 
 
 "Am not I a fool, and slow of heart to believe? Notwith- 
 standing all the Scripture says of my impotency, all the expe- 
 rience I have had of it, and all my settled and avowed princi- 
 ples, how hard is it for me to believe that I am riothing ! Ah ! 
 can I live near to God, set or keep the springs of godliness 
 agoing in my soul, or investigate the things ot God to any 
 purpose? No, 1 cannot. When I am weak, then, and then 
 only, am I strong. When Ephraim spake tremblingly, he ex- 
 alted himself in Israel ; but when he offended in Baal, he died.'* 
 
MH. FULLER. 67 
 
 Omitting the frequent repetition of such exercises as are 
 common to all Christians, I shall no longer follow the order of 
 time, but select such extracts as seem most important, and 
 arrang^e them under five or six different heads. 
 
 (1.) PERSONAL RELIGION EXEMPLIFIED, IN BOTH THl 
 
 PAINFUL AND THE PLEASANT EXERCISES OF HIS MIND. 
 
 I begin with the former : but cautioning my readers against 
 being, in any degree, reconciled to the workings of evil, be- 
 cause the same defects and defilements have been acknowledged 
 by other good men. My soul has long nauseated the thought of 
 taking comfort from the hope, that if I knew all of the best of 
 men, I should find they were nearly as poor creatures as my- 
 self. All have doubtless to maintain a daily conflict ; but God 
 forbid I should please myself with the idea, that they do not 
 more frequently get the victory than I. I never wish to think 
 otherwise, than that thousands of saints on earth have lived 
 nearer to God than I ever did: though I am sure they will give 
 all the praise to Him that woiketh in them to will and to do of 
 his good pleasure. 
 
 I have no wish, however, to conceal the humiliating com- 
 plaints of my dear Brother ; who will no more complain again, 
 as he did in the following extracts : — 
 
 " Sept. 12, 1780. — Very much in doubt, respecting my being 
 in a state of grace. I cannot see that I have, or ever had, 
 for any constancy, such an idea of myself as must be implied 
 in true huinility. The Lord have mercy upon me, for 1 know 
 not how it is with me i One thing I know— that, if I be a 
 Christian at all, real Christianity in me is inexpressibly small 
 in degree. Oh ! what a vast distance is there, between what 
 I ought to be and what I am ! If I am a saint at all, I know 
 I am one of the least of all saints : I mean, that the workings 
 of real grace in my soul are so feeble, that I hardly think they 
 can be feebler in any true Christian. There is not only an in- 
 expressible distance between what I ought to be and what I 
 am; but between what primitive believers, yea, the Scripture 
 saints in all ages, seem to have been, and what I am. I think, 
 
68 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 of late I cannot, in prayer, consider myself as a Christian, fctl 
 as a sinner, casting myself at Christ's feet for mercy. 
 
 " Oct 1 1. — Surely my soul is in general, like the earth when 
 it was a confused chaos — ' without form, and void,* and as 
 •when * darkness covered the face of the deep.* I think, I know 
 but little of the power of religion. Surely I am a novice in 
 experience ! I find my heart somewhat tender, to-night ; but 
 feel myself full of darkness, deadness, and pollution. The 
 Lord have mercy upon me ! 
 
 " What an emptiness in all earthly enjoyments 1 Nothing 
 therein is suited to my immortal thirst. I must go in quest 
 of a better country, even an heavenly one : there I shall be 
 satisfied. 
 
 " 12.— O what a world is this ; and what a life do I live! I 
 feel myself the subject of much evil. Real religion seems to 
 be something at which I aim, but cannot attain. I may say of it, 
 as Solomon said of wisdom — I thought to be religious, but it 
 was far from me. 
 
 " Nov. 7.— Somewhat affected, in thhiking on the annoyances 
 of the spiritual life : stupidity, coldness, confusion, sin of all 
 kinds— O what annoyances I 
 
 "Affected also, to-night, with the goodness of God to me, 
 as a God of providence. I enjoy what the holy apostles, and 
 what even the King of the imiverse, when an inhabitant here, 
 did not enjoy yet, O how ungrateful 1'* 
 
 But he records also many mental exercises of a more pleas- 
 ing kind : such are the following : — 
 
 *' Aug. 16, 1780. — I had pleasure in reading Josh. xxi. 43 — 
 45. and in thinking of Psa. xvi. 1 1. How great is his faithful- 
 ness ! How great will be our joy to see every promise fulfilled I 
 Thought I saw a divine beauty in doing as Enoch did, who 
 <■ walked with God.' O that I may, till God shall take me ! 
 
 *' Sept. 22. — I was somewhat moved, this morning, in think- 
 ing of the mercy of God — how it was a hedge about us, pre- 
 servmg us from the ravages of the very beasts and birds ; nay, 
 from the very stones. The whole creation groans and suffers 
 through us, and would retaliate the injuries we have done 
 them, were not a covenant made, on our behalf, with them. 
 See Hos. ii. 18. Job v. IS. 
 
MR. FULLER. 69 
 
 " Sept. 23, 1780 — [In the morning of ibis day, he made the 
 heaviest complaints of dulness, and want of spiritual life and 
 savour ; fearing, it must render his ministry utterly useless : yet 
 in the evening he adds — ] O blessed be God, he has appeared 
 once again. To-night, wliile I prayed to him, how swe( t was 
 Col. i. 19. to me. That which has pleased the Father pieases 
 me. I am glad that all fulness dwells in Him. It is not fit it 
 should dwell in me, nor that I should nave the keepmg of my 
 own stock. 
 
 Expand thy powers, enlarge thy breast ; 
 For boundless fulness dwells in Christ. 
 
 O for some heavenly clue, to guide me to the fulness of Christ ! 
 
 for an overcoming faith I 
 
 " Oct. 3. — [He notices his spiritual enjoyment, under a ser- 
 mon, at the Minister's Meeting at Kettering, on Prov. xvii. 3. 
 which was afterwards printed, at his desire and that of the other 
 ministers present, entitled, God*s Experimental Probation of 
 Intelligent Agents^ 
 
 " 8. (Lord's day.) — Bless the Lord, I have had a better day, 
 to-day, than for some time. The ' great things God hath done 
 for us* have been sweet things to me. 
 
 " 14. — Solemn thoughts, on the holiness, justness, and 
 goodness of the law of God. Desirous of God's presence 
 to-morrow. 
 
 « 23. — I was strengthened in reflecting on what I delivered 
 last night, from Psa. xxix. 2 — ' Give to the Lord the glory due 
 to his name.' Jude 15. and 1 Cor. xvi. 22 were somewhat to 
 me, on the same subject. 
 
 *' 30. — Had some view, to-night, of the hardships of poverty. 
 What mercies do I enjoy ; yet how ungrateful am I ! What a 
 world of self-sufficiency is there in our hearts ! W Hence springs 
 our desire of riches, dominion, &c. but from an idea of our 
 sufficiency to manage each as we ought ? At lei^st, this is im- 
 plied in those desires. Were we truly emptied of self-suf- 
 ficiency, we should be, like Agur, afraid of these. 
 
 " Nov. 9. — Found an heart to pray, today--Into thine hands 
 
 1 commit my spirit.- — Enlighten my judgment, guide my 
 phoice, direct my conscience, and keep it tender. Found my 
 
70 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 heart disposed to ask counsel of God, and leave him to gnido 
 me in his own way, 
 
 " 10. — O that I might be guided some way ! My heart is 
 much perplexed, but found liberty in prayer. Towards night, 
 was affected in reading the 23d and 24th chapters of Jeremiah, 
 and earnest in prayer. 
 
 "March 3, 1781. — A very affecting time, in thinking on 
 the growth of a Christian — that those who grow most in grace? 
 are far from thinking themselves to be eminent Christians. 
 
 " 2 6. — My soul is discouraged, because of the way. I am 
 full of confusion : see thou mine affliction ! O that I knew what 
 was my duty 1 Let me not err for want of knowledge, and pierce 
 myself through with many sorrows ! I think my soul is like the 
 body of an arged man : even a grasshopper becomes a burden ! 
 I seem unable to endure any thing more 1 I had an affecting 
 time in prayer on these subjects. 1 thought, what an immense 
 fulness of light and happiness dwelt in God ; how easily could 
 he inform my mind, and comfort my heart : what fulness in 
 the Holy Scriptures, enough to furnish the man of God thor- 
 oughly, for every good work. All I want is to find something 
 that suits my case. 
 
 « 29.— Thoughts on the advocateship of Christ, from John 
 xvi. 7. and xiv. 2. have been precious to me : and of his pro- 
 phetic office, from Matt. xvii. 5. •> This is my beloved Son— - 
 hear him.* 
 
 «What a wonder am I to myself! Compared with what I 
 deserve to be, how happy my condition ; compared with what 
 I desire to be, how miserable ! 
 
 « 30. — Much melancholy gloom to-day ; yet some melting 
 thoughts on the astonishing profusion of divine love. Several 
 passages seemed sweet to me- — * God is willing the heirs of 
 promise should have strong consolation. — If any one sin, we 
 have an Advocate with the Father. — Saul, Saul, why persecutest 
 thou me ? — What have I done to thee, O my people ? wherein 
 have I wearied thee ? testify against me.'* 
 
 " June 29, 1781. — The conduct and condition of some wicked 
 people make me bless God, to-night, for conscious integrity. 
 Christ*s yoke is truly easy. Purity carries its own reward with 
 • He^ Ti. 17. I John ii. 1. Acts ix. 4. Micah vi. 3. 
 
MR. FULLER. t\ 
 
 it O the guilt, the misery, that results from a submission to 
 the yoke of Satan ! Well — it is by the grace of God 1 am 
 what I am : nor is any sin so black or so detestable, but I am 
 liable to fall into it. Lord, keep me 1 
 
 " Aug. 11. — Have been ravished, as it were, to-day, in read- 
 ing the account of the council held by the apostles and elders, 
 Acts XV. O the beauty and simplicity of primitive Chris- 
 tianity ! 
 
 « 12. — Had a swret forenoon, in thinking on the mediation 
 of Christ, and in preaching upon that subject, from Ephes. 
 ii. 13. 
 
 « 16. — Serious, and somewhat pleasant. Wrote some 
 thoughts on the holy angels taking pleasure in looking into 
 our redemption. 
 
 « 27. — I had pleasure in conversing on Rom. viii. 33. Me- 
 thought, it indicated the fulness of the Redeemer's righteous- 
 ness ; partly, from the character of the justified ; and, partly, 
 from the character of the justifier — God, the all-scrutinizing, 
 impartial Judge. 
 
 « Sept. 2 — A sweet savour of spirit, at night, in talking with 
 Brother West, on God's justice and faithfulness, as discovered 
 in the plan of redemption ; and in repeating to him the sub- 
 stance of the afternoon's discourse, on Rom. viii. 33, 34. 
 
 " 15. — What a difference between the book which I keep, 
 and that which God keeps ! O what an awful, black diary 
 could he produce against me in judgment ! 
 
 « 29. — I seem very desirous to go more than I have done 
 in a way of dependence on the Lord. In riding to Littleport, 
 
 had much solemn exercise of mind, on almighty love ' How 
 
 shall I put thee among the children ?* 
 
 " Oct. 6. — Very heavy in heart. Be not far off, O Lord, for 
 trouble is near 1 Exceedingly melted, in thinking on Hos. vi, 
 4. ' O Ephraim, what shall 1 do unto thee ?* 
 
 " Nov. 15. — This morning, had some interesting conversation 
 with my wife, on little faith, great depravity, a great Saviour^ 
 and goiiuine love to God, from a spiritual discernment of his 
 glory, and delight in the character of the true God. 
 
 " Dec. 20. — Religion appeared to me to be full of greatness^ 
 A great God, possessed of grstit excellencies, whence arise 
 
72 MEMOIRS OV 
 
 great obligations : hence the great evil of sin ; and hence the 
 need of a Saviour, and a great one. All in religion is great. 
 O that I had a great sense of the importance of divine things 1 
 Lord, increase my faith ! 
 
 « 28 Thought, to-day, on account of family circumstances? 
 
 what a matter of importance is the birth of a child. Here its 
 life begins ; but where shall it end ? Ah ! no end to its exist- 
 ence I But, O that God would accept of my new-born child, 
 and let its end be ' to glorify God, and enjoy him for ever 1* 
 
 « Jan. 9, 1782. — Thought, what an awful day will that be, 
 when God searches Jerusalem, as with candles 1 O how many 
 will then appear to have been religious through custom, shame, 
 pride, or something short of the fear of God ! Alas ! how 
 many have proved hypocrites, by the breaking up of a church ! 
 When the restraints of church-communion have been taken off 
 them, how have they turned out ! O to walk as in the sight of 
 God 1 That is a spirit which would teach us to be holy, though 
 there were no creature upon earth to watch us.* 
 
 (2.) PASSAGES BELATING CHIEFLY TO HIS WORK AS A 
 MINISTER AND PASTOR. 
 
 "Aug. 5, 1780. — Alas! how am I locked up! What an 
 ocean of matter in the word of God, yet I can come at nothing ! 
 It seems to me like a frozen ocean, locked up from me. Oh 
 my heart, how heavy ! 
 
 « 6. — Alas how disconsolate, this morning ! How foolish am 
 I, to lay God under a necessity (if I may use such an expres- 
 sion "i of leaving me to myself, to let me and others see that I 
 am nothing. 
 
 "Aug. 13, 1780. (Lord's day.) — Had a poor, dull forenoon ; 
 but was disheartened in the afternoon, through the inattention 
 and drowsiness of the people. However, I was much affected, 
 towards the conclusion, in thinking of the importance of the 
 subject, (the sufferings of Christ,) and the little attention that 
 was paid to it. I had a sweet time at the ordinance, in think- 
 ing on these words : ' We shall see him as he is.' 
 
 " Sept. I Sorrow and savour, in thinking on the decline of 
 
 religion, from Lam. v. 16, 17. 
 
MR. FULLER. 
 
 73 
 
 " 3.— Had a good day, in preaching from the above, and from 
 Lam. iii. 40, 41. O that God might write the things delivered 
 lo-day, in indelible characters, on all our hearts 1 Found an 
 heart to pray for the conversion of the congregation. 
 
 " 5. — 1 longed, in prayer to-night, to be more useful. O that 
 God would do somewhat by me 1 Nor is this, I trust, from 
 ambition ; but from a pure desire of working for God, and the 
 benefit of my fellow-sinners. 
 
 « 10. — Earnest in prayer with God, this afternoon. Hum- 
 bled for our little love : yet found such desire, that, could I ob- 
 tain my wish, the brightest seraph should not outvie me in love 
 to my Lord. I saw, plainly, that my salvation must be, from 
 first to last, of free grace. 
 
 " Low, and much discouraged in preaching : thought I must 
 cease from preaching ere long. 
 
 « 22. — Much affected, to-day, in talking with a friend who had 
 lately fallen into sin, but is, I hope, deeply penitent- He told 
 me, that when coming home, he feared to go through a pasture 
 where some cattle were feeding, lest, Hke the disobedient 
 prophet, he should be slain for his sin. Also, when coming to 
 meeting on the Lord's day, it thundered dreadfully, which he 
 thought was all on his account, and that he should be struck 
 dead ; but he felt this turn of mind— * If he slay me, let him 
 slay me, and get himself a great name, in making me, for my 
 sin, a monument of his displeasure.' 
 
 « Oct. 22. — This day we began our evening lectures. Having 
 had a poor forenoon, and a worse afternoon, my heart was much 
 dejected ; supposing, my preaching answered no good end. 
 Was in some doubt, whether 1 should preach any lectures at 
 all : went to the Lord, laid the case before him, and had some 
 freedom in pleading that he would bless me. Preached, this 
 evening, from Rom. vii. 12 and had a very affecting time. I 
 love to vindicate his equity, and * justify the ways of God to 
 man.' 
 
 " 24 Observed our proneness to think of ourselves as others 
 
 speak of us. For example, if 1 am praised at any particular 
 place as a preacher, how prone am I, at that place to keep 
 pace with their esteem, if not to outgo it, in the estimation of 
 myself 1 On tlje other hand, at such places where 1 luave felt 
 10 
 
74 
 
 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 myself embarrassed, how prone to despair, and so to take no de- 
 light in the work ! O how much of self have I in me ! how far 
 from that excellent character, of being dead to the smiles and 
 frowns of men ! 
 
 " Somewhat concerned, to-day, about the state of the church, 
 and my own state. Surely I do not pray to the Lord enough I 
 Surely I am too careless about matters of so great concern ! 
 
 " Nov. 1 1. -A gloomy day. The study, a prison ; my heart 
 as hard as the bars of a castle ; and my mind exceedingly dull 
 and dark. 
 
 " 12. (Lord's day.) — Some sweet savour this morning, in 
 thinking on Ezek. xxxiv. 16. The mercy of Christ our shep- 
 herd, to his wandering sheep. Had a pretty good day in preach- 
 ing on the subject. 
 
 " Feb. 3, 1781. — I think I have never yet entered into the 
 true idea of the work of the ministry. If I had, surely I should 
 be like Aaron, running between the dead and the living. I think 
 I am by the ministry, as I was by my life as a Christian, before 
 I read Edwards on the Affections. I had never entered into the 
 spirit of a great many important things. O for some such pen- 
 etrating, edifying writer on this subject 1 or, O rather that the 
 Holy Spirit would open my eyes, and let me see into the things 
 that I have never yet seen. 
 
 " 4. (Lord's day.)-Some pleasure in preaching from Rev. ii. 
 23. and Psa. xxxiv. 18 but I fear my ministry will never be of 
 much use. t fear a dead weight of carnal-mindedness and stu- 
 por in me will always prove an obstruction to usefulness. 
 
 '' 5 — A pulpit seems an awful place. An opportunity for 
 addressing a company of immortals on their eternal interests — O 
 how important ! We preach for eternity. We, in a sense are 
 set forth* rising and falling of many in Israel. And our own 
 rise or fall is equally therein involved. 
 
 " Feb. 8, 1781.-0 would the Lord the Spirit lead me into the 
 nature and importance of the work of the ministry ! Reading 
 a wise and spiritual author might be of use : yet, could I, by- 
 divine assistance, but penetrate the work myself, it would sink 
 deeper, and be more durable. 
 
 " 13.-I think, when we are in company, and address ourselves 
 to any one in particular, it too often happens, tliat the applause 
 
MR. FULLER. 75 
 
 j)f th€ company, rather than the edification of the person or 
 ourselves, is the object. Hence, witticisms, and such sayings 
 as sting the party addressed, are introduced. Pride, how per- 
 nicious I 
 
 " March 1 1. (Lord's day.)-I had an affecting day, especially 
 in singing and prayer. The revival of nature at this season of 
 the year, seemed to kindle an earnest desire for the revival of re- 
 ligion. 
 
 " July 1. — A fervent day in prayer, and in preaching from 
 Isai. liii. 6. and Eccles. viii. 1 1. the latter occasioned by reading 
 in the public papers of a wretched man, (I think it was at Chat- 
 ham,) who had been swearing for a wager, that was stricken 
 speechless, and died in three hours. 
 
 "Jan. 3, 1782.-This afternoon being on a visit, as I stepped 
 aside from the company, I overheard one of them saying, ' 1 love 
 Mr. Fuller's company, it is so diverting ! This expression 
 moved me much. O wretch that I am I Is this to have my 
 speech seasoned with grace 1 O Lord forgive me 1 Some hum- 
 bling thoughts to-night, for the above, in prayer. 
 
 « 4.— Very tender this morning in remembering the above 
 circumstance. Lord make me more spiritual in time to come !" 
 
 (3.) EXTRACTS RELATIVE TO PERSONAL OR FAMILY 
 AFFLICTION. 
 
 «Nov. 14, 1780. — Being on a journey, I was taken very ill 
 by the way : thought how sweet heaven would be to the weary, 
 distressed traveller. 
 
 « 17—25. Having been under heavy affliction for above a 
 
 week, and incapable of writing, I only observe, that some days 
 I seemed to feel no material workings of sin, nor exercises of 
 grace : sometimes I felt worse. One day I dreamed that 1 was 
 dead : waking, and finding it but a dream, I trembled at the 
 thought of what would become of such a sinful creature, were 
 this dream realized ! Here I stopped, painfully stopped : at 
 length I answered, *Lord, I have hoped in thy salvation.* 
 Here I wept, and thought 1 would hope still. O that it may no^ 
 be in vain ! 
 
TB MEMOIRS OF 
 
 " Dec. 26 — 29— Afflictions having returned, I think 1 might 
 make too light of the former. This, though lighter on the body, 
 yet seems heavier on the mind. I am sometimes pressed with 
 guilt for my lightness under the other ; sometimes ready to sink 
 in a kind of despondency, almost like that of Jonah — that it will 
 be * better for me to die than to live.' 
 
 « Jan. 1, 1 78 1 Often dejected under my affliction ; yet have 
 
 felt my soul going out after the Lord, deprecating a life of dis- 
 tance from him. 
 
 " Alas ! my affliction, instead of taking away sin, seems to be 
 attended with new risings of evil. O wretched man that I am ! 
 Surely it does not seem consistent, that an heart so full of 
 stupidity and unholiness as mine, and in so constant a manner 
 too, can be the residence of the Holy Spirit of God ! Surely 
 those great things said to be done in the hearts of the godly are 
 not done in me ! Yet I have found some outgoings of soul to 
 God, after keeping and quickening grace. < Keep back thy 
 servant fiom presumptuous sins,' Stc. ' O Lord, I beseech thecj 
 deliver my soul 1* '* 
 
 Towards the close of January, 1781, he was greatly affected 
 with the illness and death of his father. 
 
 <* Jan. 22. — Visited my father to-day, who I fear will die. 
 Found a strong inclination to converse with him concerning his 
 soul, but did not. 
 
 <* 24. — To-day visited my father again, but he seems to have 
 no thought of death. I found my heart much drawn out to-night 
 to pray for him. 
 
 "Jan. 26, 1781. — Much affected to-day for my dear father. 
 Oh his immortal soul ! How can I bear to bury him uncon- 
 verted ? Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me ! I 
 have had many earnest outgoings of soul for him, and some 
 little conversation with him. Son. ' Have you any outgoings 
 of soul father, to the Lord ?' Father. * Yes, my dear, I have.* 
 5ow.* * Well, father, the Lord is rich in mercy to all that call 
 upon him. This is great encouragement.' Father. « Yes, my 
 child, so it is ; and I know if I be saved, it must be by him alone. I 
 have nothing to recommend me to his favour . . . but my 
 hopes are very small* 
 
MR. FULLER. 77 
 
 " 27 — Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me ! 
 Give me some good hopes of the welfare of his soul ! then 
 I could almost be willing to part with him. This would be 
 letting the cup pass from me. < But, O the soul, that never 
 dies,* &c. The woman of Canaan made her daughter's case 
 her own, and cried, < Lord help me 1* Surely I may do likewise 
 by my father. 
 
 « 28. (Lord's day.) — Affected with nothing else, to-day, but 
 the thoughts of my father's death. This I know not how to 
 bear ! Preached, somehow, from Job xiv. 1. and Heb. ii. 14. 
 
 « 29.— Oh ! he is gone I he is gone ! for ever gone ! 
 
 His course is finish'd now, his race is o'er, 
 
 The place which knew him knows him now no more ; 
 
 The tree is fall'n, and ever there must lie. 
 
 To endless ages of eternity !" 
 
 He seems, for some days following, to have been absorbed in 
 reflections upon death, and mentions having buried three of his 
 own children in less than three years before this time. 
 
 (4.) HIS SYMPATHY BXCITED BY THE AFFLICTIONS AND DEATH 
 OF OTHERS. 
 
 Many references are made repeatedly to the loss of his dearly 
 beloved friend, Mr. Joseph Diver. 
 
 " June 20, 1780. — Wo is me, that I sojourn in Meshech ! 
 
 my dear Brother Diver ! Six months ago, like an //wr, he 
 supported my hands ; but now he is gone, and they sink ! O my 
 dear sister K. I Twelve months ago, I witnessed thy patience and 
 piety ; but, ripe for glory, thou must stay here no longer : while 
 
 1 am yet in the chains of mortality, in a world of darkness and 
 misery. May I follow you, who through faith and patience 
 inherit the promises ! 1 bless the Lord for a solemn favour en- 
 joyed, in some good measure, this day. O that my heart could 
 be oftener engaged in meditation on the things oi God ! O how 
 happy to be sol 
 
 «July 11. — O my dear Brother Diver 1 very pleasant hast 
 thou been to me. I am distressed for the loss of thee ! Earth 
 seems a lonely place without thee l But Lord, thy presence 
 
rs 
 
 MEMOIRS Ot 
 
 will more than make amends for his absence. Give me that, oi? 
 I sink i The cares of the world have engrossed my attention 
 this afternoon ; but the cares of the church return this evening. 
 O now I feel the loss of my dear Brother Diver ! 
 
 ** 17.-0 my dear Brother Diver ! When shall we recover 
 our loss in losing you ? What disorders have we now in the 
 church I Our hands, heads, and hearts, how full ! O my father, 
 my father, the chariot of Israel, and the horsemen thereof ! Lik« 
 Jeremiah for Josiah, surely I cannot refrain from pouring out 
 my heart in doleful lamentations ! Methinks, I shall go all my 
 days at times, in the bitterness of my soul. Ah ! we took sweet 
 Counsel together, and walked together to the house ot God ; 
 but all is over ! As he said on his dying bed, * I have done with 
 that life.' Alas ! he has done his all with us !" 
 
 Here he inserts a copy of verses, very tender and pathetic, 
 but inferior, as to poetical correctness, to some which he wrote 
 on subsequent occasions. I therefore only insert the concluding 
 stanza : — 
 
 "90 righteous Lord, thy sovereignty we own ; 
 His life, and all our lives, to thee resign ; 
 What if to chasten us, and hira to croroitt 
 Thou hast decreed — our wills subdue to thine. 
 
 " Ah ! WO is me ; I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell 
 in the midst of a people of unclean lips ! My heart is ready to 
 sink beneath its load ! More bad conduct among my brethren. 
 The Lord have mercy on them and me ! Surely I labour in 
 vain, and spend my strength for nought. All my warnings, 
 instructions, reproofs, &c. whether in or out of the pulpit, seem 
 to have none effect.** 
 
 (fi.) OBSERVATIONS ON BOOKS, AND ON THEOLOGICAL SUB- 
 JECTS. 
 
 "March 29, 1780.-I have been reading, in Josefihus, the 
 bloody reign of Herod. What pain is it to read those narrations 
 where truth and virtue fell to the ground, and were finally over- 
 come. Methinks it helps to enhance the idea of heaven, that 
 this is a world were these shall everlastingly triumph. 
 
 " Aug. 16.— Some savour to-day, in reading Edivards en the 
 Affections, 
 
MR. FULLSR. 79 
 
 *' 3d.— »I found my soul drawn out in love to poor souls, while 
 ^'cading Millar's account of Elliot's labours among the North 
 American Indians, and their effect on those poor barbarous 
 savages. I found also a suspicion, that we shackle ourselves 
 too much in our addresses to sinners ; that we have bewildered 
 and lost ourselves, by taking the decrees of God as rules of 
 action. Surely Peter and Paul never felt such scruples in their 
 addresses, as we do. They addressed their hearers as men- 
 fallen men ; as we should warn and admonish persons who were 
 blind, and on the brink of some dreadful precipice. Their 
 work seemed plain before them. O that mine might be so be- 
 fore me!" 
 
 Here we see the first workings of compassionate feelings of 
 heart, which at length, led him so happily out of the entangle- 
 ments of False Calvinism, and excited him to such exertions 
 for the salvation of the heathen. 
 
 "Sept. 11. — Much affected this morning in reading Ed- 
 wards's thoughts on evangelical humility, in his Treatise on the 
 Affections. Surely there are many that will be found wanting 
 in the great day. * Lord, is it I V 
 
 *' Oct 30. — I cannot help lamenting in reading in Mosheim^s 
 Church History^ how soon, and how much was the religion of 
 Jesus corrupted from its primitive simplicity ! 
 , " Nov. 4 -How apt are we to think ourselves rather pitiable 
 Ihan blameable, for having such remains of corruption in us ! 
 Perhaps one cause of this may be our viewing sin in us as an 
 army., or something we have to o/i/iose and firesa through. These 
 ideas are good, provided we remember, that they ziejigia'ative, 
 and that this army is nothing external^ but internal; and that 
 the opposition is not like that wherein the combatant's inclination 
 is all one way, but he finds himself wholly overcome, against his 
 will ; were this the case, we should be wholly fiitiable. But it 
 is as if a debtor were going to pay his creditor ; but, by the way, 
 found great struggles, whether he should go forward, and behave 
 like an honest man, or whether he should turn aside, and spend 
 his money in riot and luxury. In this case, he certainly ought 
 to have had no struggle, nor to have made a moment's scruple. 
 Neither ought we to m^ko a moment's scruple about loving the 
 
80 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 Lord with all our hearts, and refraining wholly from sinning 
 against him. We may, indeed, be pitiable with respect to each 
 other ; but, in the sight of God, we are wholly blameable. 
 
 " A hard heart is a symptom of distance between God and us. 
 As the Lord is nigh to those who are of a broken heart, so he is 
 far from those who are of a hard heart. 
 
 « June 23, 1781. Some delight in reading Mosheim*s History 
 of the Reformation. Several times in the day, had pleasant feel- 
 ings, on dying in the Lord. 
 
 « 26. Have been reading Mosheim^s History^ Cent. xiii. and 
 
 xiv. to-day. Really I am sick in reading so much about monks, 
 mendicant friars. See. I could have wished the history had more 
 answered to its title — a history of the church ; but it seems little 
 else than a history oi locusts, 
 
 « 28. — Some sacred delight, in reading more of Musheim on 
 the coming forth of those champions of the Reformation — Lu- 
 ther, Melancthon, Zuinglius, Calvin, Sec. into the field. I think 
 I feel their generous fervour in the cause of God and truth. 
 How were the arms of their hands made strong by the mighty 
 God of Jacob ! 
 
 « July 3. — I was taken up, to-day, in reading Mosheim, whose 
 partial account of the English Baptists would lead me to in- 
 clulge a better opinion of various sects, who have been deemed 
 heretics. 
 
 " Was very ill to-night ; but felt tender-hearted and earnest 
 in prayer. 
 
 " Aug. 16, 1781 — In reading JDr. Oiven^ to-day, the end of 
 predestination seemed sweet to me ; namely, conformity to the 
 image of God's dear Son. 
 
 "Nov. 14 My mind to-day, seems bewildered. The lives 
 
 of some poets have taken up my thoughts. The grandeur and 
 stretch of thought in their writings seems rather to flatten my 
 mind towards the simple truths oi Christianity. But alas ! what 
 am I after ? what am I admiring ? Pompous trifles ! Great souls 
 employed in dressing atoms : O religion, thy joys are substan- 
 tial and sincere ! When shall I awake, and find myself where 
 nothing else shall attract the soul ?** 
 
 Much more that is very good might have been extracted, but 
 chiefly such things as are common to all Christians. 
 
GHAP. V. 
 
 EXTRACTS FROM A DIARY KEPT AFTER HIS REMOVAL 
 TO KETTERING, BEGINNING APRIL 11, 1784. 
 
 AN interval of more than two years took place between the 
 close of the former diary and the commencement of this. It 
 is believed Mr. Fuller himself destroyed a volume which com- 
 prehended this period. 
 
 On the 30th of April, 1784, he wrote — 
 
 " I earnestly desire, these papers and books, if I should not 
 burn them in my life -time, may never be shown, except to very 
 few persons, after my death ; for such a life as mine I wish 
 never to be imitated. When I read the life of one whom I think 
 to have been a good man, I feel apt to account his acquisitions 
 nearly the utmost that can be attained in this life. The fear 
 lest any one should think thus of mine, makes me write this 
 desire.'* 
 
 On this paragraph I would make two or three remarks, pre- 
 viously to my inserting any extracts from this volume. 
 
 1. I am strongly persuaded, that I am one of those few 
 whom he would not have precluded from the sight of these 
 papers. And I find sufficient evidence, in this very manuscript, 
 of his affectionate regard for me, and his sympathy with me, 
 under trials of my own, to confirm this opinion, if it needed 
 confirmation. 
 
 2. That I wish, according to what I suggested in the former 
 Chapter, (p. 78.) to guard against the abuse of his many com- 
 plaints and conflicts. 
 
 11 
 
^2 MEMOIRh OF 
 
 3. That, all thint^s considered, I found more to humble T'le, 
 on the perusal of the whole, than to administer that despicable 
 and pernicious comfort, which we both feared some professors 
 would be tempted to extract from it. 
 
 4. That I sincerely wish, (as I am sure he would, still more 
 earnestly than 1,) to beware of any attempt to make others think 
 more highly than they ought to think of my dear departed 
 friend ; or to lead them to imagine that he was " exempt from the 
 common infirmities of our corrupted nature." A sinner ready 
 to perish, but saved by marvellous grace, was the only light in 
 which he wished to be viewed, or in which 1 have attempted to 
 exhibit him. I only add, 
 
 5- That I have made such a selection, according to the best 
 of my judgment, as I thought would tend to the honour of his 
 blessed Lord, and to the benefit of candid and intelligent rea- 
 ders ; inserting nothing which I conceived he would have ob- 
 jected to insert, had he been the bigorapher of just such 
 another man. 
 
 Many things which indicate his pastoral watchfulness, I have 
 omittetl ; lest any one should guess at individuals whose conduct 
 gave him pain. It must be supposed that he had some trials of 
 this sort at Kettering, as well as at Soham ; since, as the great 
 Mr. Howe observes, f W^orX:.9, VI. 177.) *' The true, the proper, 
 and right notion of the Christian church, or the churches of 
 Christ in general, is, that they are hospitals, or rather one great 
 hospital, wherein are persons of all sorts under cure. There 
 is none that is sound, none that is not diseased, none that hath 
 not wounds and soies about him." He was, however, anxious 
 for the people of his charge, and for others of his acquaintance, 
 that they might not only adhere to the truth, but be sanctified by 
 the truth. 
 
 As to himself, it appears that he watched continually over 
 the state of his own soul, both in private, and in the discharge 
 of his public work. I had thought of dividing these two 
 particulars ; but after transcribing them separately to the close 
 of this year, 1784, I found them so interwoven together, that 
 I concluded it would be better to let them remam united. I 
 
MR. FULLER. 83 
 
 have only kept distinct the account of the exercises of his 
 mind respecting his own publications, which I shall give af- 
 terwards. 
 
 His humility and godly jealousy appear continually. While 
 others admired his zeal and diiis^ence, he was perpetually be- 
 wailing his lukewarmness, inconstancy, and inactivity ; and 
 dreading lest he should prove an * idol shepherd,* who fed not 
 tlie flock. Since I wrote the preceding chapter, I found^ 
 among his papers, a letter from a friend, which he had folded 
 up, and written upon it the writer's name, and the date, (Oct. 
 5, 1783,) and added beneatn — " may I never forget the hints 
 in this letter /'* On opening it, a similar wish, I found, had 
 been written by him, under the original direction. This ex- 
 cited my curiosity, to examine what these hints were ; and I 
 found it came from one to whom he had made some heavy 
 complaints of himself, just before his settlement at Kettering ; 
 who thus replied : — " 1 love you, but I do not greatJy pity you : 
 I am glad you feel as you do — ' When I am weak, then am I 
 strong.* God Almighty keep us from ever being great men, 
 or, rather, from thinking ourselves so ! Oh, it requires num- 
 berless miracles to get any man to heaven ; perhaps, I might 
 say, especially a minister 1 You will do^ as long as you feel 
 vile, and foolish, and weak. 1 had rather preach at your funeral, 
 than live to see you good, and wise, and great, and strong, in 
 your own estimation." This was the sort of friendship my 
 dear Brother valued, more than what would express itself in 
 compliment and flattery. 
 
 EXTRACTS FROM HIS DIARY, FROM 1784 TO 1796. 
 
 "April 11, 1784 — A tender forenoon, in public prayer. 
 My heart aches for the congregation, young and oid ; especially 
 for some wJ^o seem to be under concern. O that Christ may 
 be formed in them ! But I am so carnal, that I fear God will 
 never do any thing by me. Had a pretty good forenoon, in 
 preaching on being sick ; but a poor afternoon, on Christ's 
 being the great Physician, 
 
 « April 22, 1784. — Visited by Mr. Robert Hall, sen. and 
 Mr. Joshua Symmonds. The former preached from * Be ye 
 
tr4 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 also ready.* I had a very solemn, painful, and yet pleasurable 
 time. O how far am I from being ready I How little disen- 
 gaged from what I must shortly leave ! How little prepared for 
 a better world ! 
 
 <i 25. — A very good forenoon, both in prayer, and in preach- 
 ing on walking by faith. Poor afternoon : no savour at the 
 Lord's supper. In the evening, expounded Matt. iv. on 
 Chri8t*8 tejn/itation. Noticed its importance, time, circum- 
 stances, nature, and issue. At the close, inferred, * As Christ 
 did not run into temptation, but was led ufi of the Spirit ; so 
 we must not run into it, but pray, as he has directed us, that we 
 may not enter into it.* 
 
 w 28. — Preached at Winnick : felt sacred pleasure in prayer. 
 O it gives me sweet pleasure to see any appearance of the pros- 
 perity of Christ's kingdom ! 
 
 " May 3. — Some tenderness in preaching, at Stagsden : en- 
 deavoured to speak plain and home to the understandings and 
 consciences of some poor, plain people, on Christ* s being a ivay 
 that men know not. 
 
 " 7. — Heard Mr. Robert Hall, jun. from, * He that increas- 
 eth knowledge, increaseth sorrow.' Felt very solemn, in hear- 
 ing some parts. O that I could keep more near to God 1 How 
 good is it to draw near to him ! 
 
 " 11. — Devoted this day to fasting and prayer, in conjunction 
 with several other ministers, who have agreed thus to spend the 
 second Tuesday in every other month, to seek the revival of real 
 religion, and the extension of Christ's kingdom in the world. 
 Feel very unhappy, to think that my heart should be no more 
 in it. But very little of the true spirit of prayer, throughout 
 the whole day. 
 
 ti 1 6. — A good forenoon : tender in prayer, for the revival of 
 religion, and the carrying on of a good work among our young 
 people. Very tender, to-night, at Thrapston, and greatly con- 
 cerned for the salvation of souls, while preaching on sinners' 
 being like Moab — at ease from his youth. Here I am child 
 enough to think, ' Surely some good must be done 1' 
 
 « 26. — [Having visited Soham, as he returned, on his way to 
 Cambridge.] Felt a sense of the importance of everlasting 
 
MR. FULLER. 85 
 
 tilings, occasioned by hearing the conversation of some wicked 
 men. Oh ! if I had an abiding sense of the danger and worth 
 of souls, surely I should feel more like Aaron, when he ran, 
 with his censer, between the living and the dead. 
 
 " June 1 1. — Spoke, to-night, from ' Learn of me, for I am 
 meek and lowly in heart.* Indeed, I had need to learn more 
 of this. I find applauses to be fiery trials. 
 
 « 13. — At OIney. A poor, cold day, except in the evening. 
 I am weary of being out from home so much. I want to be 
 more at home, that I may be more with God. 
 
 " 18. — At Northampton. Conversation with Mr. R. chief 
 part of the day. Preached, this afternoon, a lecture with him, 
 at Bugbrook, with some pleasure : returned: felt sweetly, to- 
 night, in prayer for ardour in Christ's cause. 
 
 « 19. — Tender in prayer, again, this morning; : but Oh, what 
 a poor, carnal, stupid creature, nearly throughout the day i 
 Some little fervour, to-night, in meditating on Christ's mercy. 
 
 « 21 — Much afi'ected, to-day, in visitini^ some poor friends ; 
 especially in going to see a little boy, of seven or eight years 
 old, in a decline, not likely to continue long. My heart felt 
 for his everlasting state. Conversed with him a little, on di- 
 vine subjects. 
 
 "July 1. — Preached at Cranford ; but feel as if I had lost 
 all savour of religion. Returning home, to-night, my mind was 
 exercised on David's prayer — * Renew a constant spirit within 
 me.' O what need have I of that ! 
 
 « 9. — Some serious tenderness of spirit, and concern for the 
 Carnality of my heart, for some days past. Read to our friends, 
 this evening, a part of Mr. Edwards's Attempt to promote 
 Prayer for the Revival of Religion^ to excite them to the 
 like practice. Felt my heart profited, and much solemnized 
 by what I read. 
 
 « 11. — A good forenoon, in preaching on felloivship with 
 Christ. Felt some tenderness of heart, several times in the 
 day, longing for the coming of Christ's kingdom, and the sal- 
 vation of my hearers. 
 
 « July 12, 1784. — Read part of a poem, by John Scott, Esq. 
 on the cruelties of the English in the East Indies, causing arti- 
 ficial famines, &c. My heart felt most earnest desires, that 
 
86 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 Christ's kingdom might come, when all these cruelties shall 
 cease. O for the time, when neither the sceptre of oppression, 
 nor heathen superstition, shall bear the sway over them ! Lord 
 Jesus, set up thy glorious, peaceful kingdom all over the world ! 
 Found earnest desire, this morning, in prayer, that God would 
 hear the right, as to them, and hear our prayers, in which the 
 churches agree to unite, for the spread of Christ's kingdom.* 
 
 a 13. — Spent this day in fasting and prayer, in conjunction 
 with several of my brethren in the ministry, for the revival of 
 our churches and the spread of the gospel. Found some ten- 
 derness and earnestness in prayer, several times in the day. 
 Wrote a few thoughts on the desirableness of the coming of 
 Christ's kingdom. 
 
 <* 16 Rode to Arnsby, this morning: had some profitable 
 
 conversation with Mr. Hall. Came back, and heard an aged 
 minister [deeply tinged with False Calvinism] with grief. 
 Surely the system of religion which he, witli too many others, 
 has imbibed, enervates every part of vital godliness. 
 
 " 18. — A good forenoon in preaching from * All my springs 
 are in thee ;' but a better time in prayer. Found my heart go 
 out for the children and youth of the congregation ; owing, 
 perhaps, to my having spoken, last night, at the grave of the 
 little boy mentioned June 31. Poor child I he seemed to like 
 that I should talk with him before he died. 
 
 "19 — Chiefly employed in writing, and in visiting poor 
 friends. Think I get good, and hope I do some good, by the 
 latter of these practices. Read some more of Edwards on 
 Prayer, as I did also last Monday night, with sweet satisfaction. 
 I have felt sweet serenity in my own mind, for some days past. 
 
 • The meetings of prayer, for the revival of religion and the success of 
 the goapel, on the first Monday in every month, had hetn first set on foot, 
 this year, at the Nottingham Baptist Association, June .3, 1784. They were 
 recommended by the Warwickshire Association, in 1786, and adopted by 
 some of the Independents in their neighbourhood. The Western Asso- 
 ciation recommended the same practice, in 1790, which has since spread 
 extensively through the kingdom. See Mr. Fuller's l^ersuasives to 
 General Union in Extraordinary Prayer, at the end of his Sermon on 
 Walking by Faith. This proposal may be traced yet further back, to a 
 copy of Kdwards's Humble Jlttempt, &c. received from Dr. Erskine, by a 
 friendof Mr. Fuller's, April 23, 1784. R. 
 
MR. FULLER. 87 
 
 « 22 — i-Some pleasure to-day, at the church-meeting, in speak- 
 ing trom 1 Peter i. 2. Feel my mind, now, generally serene 
 and peaceful. 
 
 " 27. — Dull, and unaffected : nothing seems to lay hold of 
 me. Some fear, to-night, in prayer. An accident that has be- 
 fallen my youngest child now lays sufficient hold of me. I 
 fear lest he should be taken from me. Very much moved in 
 prayer for him. O Lord, I must have something trying to 
 move me ! How I shall endure this I know not ! O prepare 
 him and prepare me ! 
 
 " 28. — Feel my heart tender, to-day ; and some thankfulness 
 of heart, for hope afforded of the child. Ah ! how easy to sfieak 
 of resigning our whole selves, and all that pertains to us, to 
 the Lord ; but how difficult to do so, when it comes to the 
 trial ! 
 
 " 31.— Found great reluctance to close thought and deal- 
 ing with God. Alas! here 1 have always cause for self- 
 reflection ! 
 
 " Aug. 1 5 — I feel myself so propense to sink into insensi- 
 bility, ihat I am almost ready to despair of ever making any 
 progress in real religion, 
 
 " 22.— Some exercise of a pleasant nature, on the subjects 
 of which 1 am writing. The Love which the holy angels found 
 increasing towards God, as displayed in the gospel, was par- 
 ticularly affecting to me. 
 
 " 24.— Some tenderness in prayer, of late; yet I fear lest I 
 should be blasted in my ministry, on account of my barren- 
 ness. 
 
 " 25. — Enjoyed sweetness now, for some days, in reading 
 over the Acts of the Apostles, before family prayer : pleasant 
 times in that duty. O that we might see some such blessed 
 effusions of the Spirit granted again, as in the apostles' days J 
 
 " Aug. 27, 1784. — Tenrierness of heart, and some self-abase- 
 ment, generally prevalent now. The Lord keep me meek and 
 lowly in heart I 
 
 " 29. — A very tender, affectionate time, in prayer for the con- 
 gregation, especially for the young people. Not so well, in 
 preaching on the danger of having our own wills, and on Christ's 
 calling us friaids. Finished expounding our Lord's sermon 
 
^B. MEMOIRS OF 
 
 on the Mount. I wish I may attend to some caution I had given 
 me to-night. The Lord lead me into the spirit of the gospel, 
 and keep me from extremes I 
 
 « Sept. 1. — I feel to-night, much discouraged. I can scarcely 
 tell whether I am of any real use. My soul seems dried up, 
 like a potsherd. 
 
 " 2. — Low in my feelings to-day. Wearied out with writing. 
 O that God would bless me indeed ! 
 
 " 3. — Employed nearly all day in searching out Paul's jour- 
 nies into Asia, Macedonia, and Greece. O that I might enter 
 into the spirit of that great man of God ! Felt much pleasure in 
 this day's work. 
 
 « 5. — Some pleasure in private, this morning, and in preach- 
 ing on t/ip benejit of reflecting on past experiences. A poor, 
 dull afternoon ; but a very earnest and fervent opportunity, this 
 evening, on love to Christ^s salvation. O if God would but 
 make use of it ! 
 
 « No remarkable exercise, for these two or three days, ex- 
 cept some little tenderness in prayer. Last Tuesday, I found 
 some heart to pray for God's Holy Spirit, that it might not be 
 taken from us : have felt that desire renewed, at some seasons, 
 since. Very tender to-night, in speaking on Christ's legacy — 
 * My peace I give unto you.* 
 
 [Soon after this he was very much distressed on account of 
 some jarrings among his old friends at Soham.] 
 
 « 21. Taken up all day, in writing letters to Cambridgeshire, 
 
 O may God bless them to their good 1 Felt very tender in writ- 
 ing them. 
 
 u 26 Deeply affected, this morning, in thinking and preach- 
 ing on the poor and needy seeking water, and finding none, &c. 
 Some tenderness, too, in the afternoon. This thought was mov- 
 ing — That our hardness of heart broke Christ's heart, and our 
 stupidity made his soul ' exceeding sorrowful even unto 
 death.* 
 
 *' Oct. 5. — [A meeting of ministers was held at Kettering. 
 He speaks of peculiar pleasure in hearing Mr. R. Hall, sen. 
 pointing out the right use of the law, in subservience to the gos- 
 pelj and concluding the evening in prayer. Some other occur- 
 rences, at this time, much affected his mind. He mentions also 
 
MR. FULLER. 89 
 
 a dream, which, though fictitious in itself, yet led bis attention 
 to awful realities.] O the dangers that mankind are in 1 What 
 thousands are every hour precipitated into an eternal world ! 
 
 " 8. — Spoke from Eccles. xii. 13. « Fear God, and keep his 
 commandments : for this is the nvhole of man' — the whole end 
 of his existence, the whole of his bliss and ivorth. My heart is 
 sick of all knovvledge and all accomplishments, unless they are 
 made to subserve the cause of the blessed Redeemer: how 
 empty and frothy is it all, unless sanctified by the grace of God 1 
 
 " 18. — Much depressed in spirit, to-night, on account of my 
 little spirituality. Prayed, at the evening meeting, with ten- 
 derness of spirit. I sensibly felt my entire dependence on the 
 Spirit of God, for the carrying on of the work of grace, as well 
 as for the beginning of it. 
 
 « 19. — Rode with Mr. R. jun. to Winnick, to assist the good 
 people there in forming themselves into a church. Heard him 
 preach, and the people relate their experiences afterwards, 
 more privately. 
 
 « 20 — Brother R. preached upon Baptism, and Brotlicr Sut- 
 cliff baptized seven persons. I felt tenderness and solemvi 
 pleasure, in addressing them on the nature of their present 
 engagements. Preached, in the afternoon, with some pleasure, 
 on being < knit together in love.' 
 
 " 31. — Heard, this morning, that Mr. G. is dying. Last Fri^ 
 day night, I saw him as usual ; when he said to me, < Remem- 
 ber and pray for a poor old man ; for I cannot be long in this 
 world.* I was much affected with this news. Sung Psa. xc. 
 Felt tender in prayer, and in preaching from < Uphold thou me 
 according to thy word, that I may live,' Sec. Preached, this 
 afternoon, on the breadth^ and length, and dejithy and height 
 of Christ's love. Some sweet pleasure at the Lord's supper. 
 O to know more of Christ, and live upon him ! I feel very 
 happy to-night : can hardly forbear singing, as I go about, 
 
 * O for this love, let rocks and hills 
 
 Their lasting silence break : 
 And all harmonious human tongues. 
 
 The Saviour's praises speak 1' 
 
 « Nov. 12, 1784 — Feel my mind earnestly engaged in long- 
 ing for the salvation of souls, and earnest for it in prayer. O 
 12 
 
^tf MEMOIRS OB 
 
 Tvhat an awful things does it seem to me, for sinners under 4* 
 fatal disease not to desire a remedy ! 
 
 a 20. — Returning home from Gretton, thought on the first 
 Psalm, upon which I intend to preach to-morrow ; but how un- 
 like am I to the character there drawn ! My leaf seems to 
 wither every day, and scarcely any thing I do appears to pros- 
 per. I feel self-reflection for want of walking closely with God. 
 Surely I need, as it were, to renew covenant with God. 
 
 " 26.-^Some reflections, of late, in prayer, for my strange 
 propensity to depart from God ; and many discouraging thoughts 
 with regard to praying and preaching for the pronioiion of 
 Christ's kingdom It seems almost as though the Lord, if he 
 hath not forsaken the earth, had yet nearly forsaken me, and 
 would not regard my petitions. 
 
 <i 27 — Some pleasure in thinking on the second Psalm ; 
 especially on the combination of Joy and trembling. 
 
 28. — Much tenderness and pleasure in preaching on the above 
 subject, before the Lord's supper. Felt the like at the ordi- 
 nance, especially in urging a thought from Maclaurin — ' How 
 dreadful is it to be a mere spectator of the things signified by 
 this institution, and not an actual partaker of Christ's benefits I' 
 
 <« 29 — Mucli dispirited, on account of my carnal -mi«|ifcdness 
 and perpetual propensity to depart from God. My life seems 
 to have been one continued series of departure from God. I 
 can compare it to nothing but a great flood, or tide, that rolls 
 perpetually along. The sins of my life are many ; but the sin 
 of my nature seems to be but one* — one continual disposition to 
 evil, and aversion to draw near to God. 
 
 « SO—i-Visited Mrs. W. at . Her conversation is almost 
 
 always spiritual and profitable. Some pleasure throughout 
 the day. 
 
 "Dec. 1 — Employed in writing out a sermon for Miss D. 
 which was preaclied on the 7th of April, at her mother's fune- 
 ral, on the all- sufficiency of grace : felt much affected with 
 some of the sentiments, as 1 transcribed them. 
 
 a 6. — An aff'ecting meeting of prayer, this evening, for the 
 revival of real religion : found much pleasure in singing, and 
 freedom with God in prayer : prayed against my late sceptical 
 feelings." 
 
MR. FULLBR. 91 
 
 Like variations of his frame of mind are noticed through the 
 rest of the month, which I omit, on account of its similarity 
 to what has been already inserted. 
 
 31 —He mentions having been much affected the preceding 
 Wednesday, while he carried his son in his arms, and wept 
 over him, singing Dr. Watts's hymn— 
 
 •• O may'st thou live to reach the place 
 "Where he unveils his lovely face !" bco. 
 
 He adds, " If I die before him, let him remember this ; and 
 Sally, the verses in the diary of August 11, 1780. [See 
 Chap. IX.] 
 
 "Jan. 1, 1785. — Some emotions of affection, this morning, 
 in reflecting on the past year. What good 1 have done I 
 scarcely know. Great has been my sin against God. Behold, 
 I am vile ! 
 
 " 2. (Lord's day.) — Preached, this forenoon, on love to 
 Christy and in the afternoon a new-year's sermon to young 
 people, from Psa. xxxiv. 1 1 — < Come, ye children,' 8cc. Some 
 sweet and solemn feelings, as I sat in the vestry, while a hymn 
 for the new year, out of the Bristol Collection, was sung : felt 
 my heart very tender, and a longing desire for the welfare of the 
 young people : preached to them with some earnestness. Felt 
 much also, this day, in reading Buny/an's Holy War ; particu- 
 larly that part where the four captains agree to petition the 
 King for more force : felt a great satisfaction in my principles 
 concerning preaching to sinners, and a desire to pray, like them, 
 for help from on high, to render the word effectual. 
 
 "Jan. 3, 1785 — Felt very sensibly, to-night* at our monthly 
 meeting for prayer. How far off from a Christian life I Uve ! 
 How little real fellowship I have with Christ I— How little oi 
 holy boldness can I use in prayer ! Surely, if I were more to 
 frequent the throne of grace in private, it would be better 
 with me ! 
 
 « 8. — Much affected, to-day, in hearing my little girl say, 
 *How soon Sabbath day comes again !* Felt grieved to see the 
 native aversion of the carnal heart from God so early discov- 
 ering itself. Was led to importune God at a throne of grace 
 on her behalf. 
 
9;? MEMOIRS Of 
 
 « 9.— A good day, on the whole. In the morning, preached 
 from < You hath he quickened,' &c.— in the afternoon, on the 
 petition of the blind man, Mark x.-— in the evening, expounded 
 Acts vi. One verse in particular, carries in it conviction to 
 me-— that we may give ourselves Hvkolly to prayer and the 
 ministry of the word. 
 
 " 11. — Some outgoings of heart in prayer, to-day, for the 
 revival of real religion, first in my own soul, and then in the 
 churches in general. My own mental departures from God 
 have been long and great ! Went several times to the Lord 
 with some satisfaction ; but found not such nearness of access 
 as I could wish. 
 
 " 14 — Spoke, to-night, with some freedom, on Psa. cxvi. 
 * I will walk before the Lord,' 8cc. Explained it as consisting 
 in viewing ourselves always as in God^s sight, and not merely 
 in the sight of creatures, whether godly or ungodly ; in striving 
 to filease God ; and in attending in a constant way to the most 
 spiritual duties. Observed the goodness of the resolution ; 
 because this course was safe, honourable, and hafipy. 
 
 " Feb. 8. — Visited Mr. Toller, to-day, who has been very ill : 
 some serious conversation with him on the importance of real 
 religion in a dying hour. 
 
 " 1 1. — Read part of the life of J. Janeway, to-day, with much 
 conviction and tenderness. Oh ! my life, how low to his ! 
 
 " 12. — Feel desires to live like that excellent young man, 
 whose life I read yesterday. 
 
 " 13. — Some earnestness, to-day, in preaching on fire ssing 
 forward, and on the desire accomfilished being sweet to the soul ; 
 but little spirituality. Very earnest, to-night, in preaching from 
 « What will ye do in the end thereof ?* 
 
 " 19. — Feel an earnest desire, this morning, that my mind 
 might be well furnished with evangelical sentiments. Had some 
 pleasing meditations on Rev. i. 18. 
 
 « 20. — Felt earnestness and pleasure ia preaching on the 
 above subject: found encouragement in observing several ipthe 
 congregation who are likely soon to join the church. 
 
 « 21 — Last night, I was reading Mr. Scott on Repentance. 
 Reflections this morning, on the great need I have of repent-, 
 
MR. FULLER. 08 
 
 ance, and the little I feel of it. Every day furnishes reasons for 
 it ; but how seldom do I experience holy mourning l 
 
 « 22. — Tenderness in private prayer, attended with shame. 
 An agreeable visit with Mr. B. W. at Mr. T.*s. Conversation 
 very serious and profitable, chiefly on closet-prayer and experi- 
 mental subjects. 
 
 « 25. — But little exercise of mind, to-day, though I experi- 
 ence a general calmness of spirit. Surely it is good for me to 
 draw near to God ! How strange that I should ever feel reluc- 
 tant in this matter ! 
 "March 4. — Rode to Northampton: had some pleasant 
 
 meditation on 1 Pet. i. 6 ' If need be ye are in heaviness.* 
 
 « 6. — Preached there, on the above subject, with some 
 pleasure. In the afternoon, a sermon to young people ; and in 
 the evening, love to Christ^ salvation. A pretty good day. 
 
 « 7. — Enjoyed divine assistance at the monthly prayer-meet- 
 ing, in speaking on continuing in prayer ; also in going to prayer, 
 though I felt wretchedly cold before 1 began. 
 
 " 9. — Returned from Northampton. Going by the gallows, 
 much affected with the death of » malefactor. O eternity I 
 eternity ! 
 
 « March 11, 1785 — Feel a general lowness of spirits ; partly 
 occasioned by the bitter spirit of some neighbouring ministers 
 respecting my late publication and my preaching ; and, partly? 
 by sympathy with some of my friends under trials. 
 
 " 21. — Have been somewhat stirred, beyond due bounds, to- 
 day, in talking with It would have been better for me 
 
 to have thought more of myself) and to have spoken to him with 
 more humility. 
 
 « 25. — Returning from Woodford, (where I preached, last 
 night, with earnestness and solemnity of spirit, on the ways of 
 sin being moveable^ like those of the adulteress, I was led into a 
 profitable train of meditation, on our good Shepherd's care of his 
 flock, occasioned by seeing some lambs exposed to the cold, 
 and a poor sheep perishing for want of care. 
 
 " 28. — Some heaviness of heart, because some of my friends 
 do not take that freedom with me which I wish they did. 
 
 " 29. -Visited this morning by Mr. W. who told me of a 
 Ycry unhappy aff*air that has taken place. This explains some 
 
S14 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 things which I imputed to reserve. How grievous is it that 
 the cause of Christ should be dishonoured ! But what reason 
 have I to be thankful that the case is not mine I 
 
 « April 5.-Preached at Oakley : on my return, found Mr. 
 Hall of Arnsby at Kettering. 
 
 « 6 — Taken up with his company. Feel much dejected in 
 viewing the state of the churches. O that God would revive us I 
 O that we could pray for it with more fervour I 
 
 « 19. — Preached at Wellingborough, with some freedom, on 
 Christ*s commanding us to nvatch. Some conviction by con- 
 versing with Mr. Carver, whose carefulness not to circulate an 
 evil report I admire. 
 
 " 28.— I find it is observed, that persons in my condition, 
 without greater advantages as to learning, are generally apt to 
 be more censorious than those whose learning is far greater. I 
 trish I may be always on the watch here. 
 
 « 30. — Thought to-day I could wish to die, if I had but 
 done my generation work. Last Monday, I heard a young man 
 at N. speak of the advantage of mixing prayer with reading the 
 word. This morning I have been trying to read in that way. 
 Read the second chapter of Hosea thus ; longing to use that 
 sweet and holy freedom which the Lord designs to encourage, 
 when he directs the church to call him not Baali, but Ishi. O 
 that I could dwell nearer to God ! I fear some trials in the 
 ehurch ; but were I kept near to him, I should be able to bear 
 any thing. 
 
 « May 1. -Found earnestness in preaching on the words of 
 God doing good to the upright, and on Christ's being the same 
 yesterday, to-day, and forever. Felt my heart drawn out in 
 prayer, this morning, that God would make some use of me for 
 good. Praying that I might not labour in vain, and spend my 
 strength for nought, I felt a check of this kind — What then is 
 my labour, and of what account is 7ny strength ? On this, I found 
 much outgoing of heart, in pleading Christ's merits as the ground^ 
 and the welfare of souls as the end. 
 
 « 2 — Returning from Brigstock, where I preached last night, 
 some conversation with a friend at Thrapston makes me reflect 
 on myself for imprudence. I feel how far off from a right spirit I 
 
MR. FULLER. 95 
 
 often am. This evening, I felt tender all the tiiric of the 
 prayer-meeting- for the revival of religion ; but in hearing Mr, 
 Beeby Waiiis pray for me, I was overcome : his having a bet- 
 ter opinion of me than I deserve, cuts me to the heart I Went to 
 prayer mystlf. and found m.y mind enj^aged more than ordina- 
 rily in praying for the revival of religion. I had felt many 
 sceptical thoughts ; as though there were room to ask — What 
 profit snail I have if I pray to God? for which I was much 
 grieved. Find a great satisfaction in these monthly meetings : 
 even supposing our requests should not be granted, yet prayer 
 to God is its own reward. Felt many bitter reflections for my 
 stupid, carnal way of living. 
 
 <* 8 — Impressed, this morning, in thinking on the wants of 
 the people, how they would probably be coming from many 
 places round, in quest of spiritual food, while 1 was barren, and 
 scarcely knew what to say to them. Affected in thinking of 
 Micah vii. * Feed thy people with thy rod,' &c. Preached from 
 it, this morning with some freedom : not so well in the after- 
 noon : but a jrood time in the evening at Burton. 
 
 "May 14, 1785 -Very heavy in heart, to-day, in riding to 
 Clipstone, where I am to preach to-morrow. Between Kelmarsh 
 and Naseby, felt my heart much broken and contrite, to what 
 it usually is. Some enlargedness of heart for the work of to- 
 morrow. 
 
 « 15.-Preached twice at Clipstone, and at Naseby in the 
 evening. Felt most tenderness in the evening. O that I were 
 but such a Christian as the good man at whose house I lodged I 
 What an humble and amiable spirit ! 
 
 " 17-Set off for the Association at Oakham : affected with the 
 letters from the churches. 
 
 *' 18. — Heard Messrs. Ryland. jun. Mr. Hall, sen. and Sut- 
 cliff. I know not when I have enjoyed a happier Association 
 than this. 
 
 [On the 23d he visited his old friends in Cambridgeshire, and 
 preached at several places.] 
 
 " June 2 — To-day, I go for home, laden \fith the burdens of 
 others, as well as some of my own. Preached, in the day-time, 
 at Stretham ; and in the evening at Haddinghara. 
 
96 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 a 4. — An uncommon load lies all day on my spirits. I am 
 incapable of all profitable meditation : feel pained for the peo- 
 ple to-morrow. Some few exercises on subjection to the Father 
 o/Sfiirits ; but very heavy in heart. 
 
 <t 5. — Feel myself quite ill with sorrow of heart : had a very 
 tender forenoon on the subject mentioned above ; but a poor, 
 wretched afternoon : very much depressed all day. 
 
 « 6.-But little exercise till towards night ; when the sorrows 
 of yesterday returned, and for two hours, preyed upon my heart 
 stronger than ever, eo as to make me very ill. Darkness and 
 confusion of mind overwhelm me. 
 
 « r.-Engaged in writing out the Circular Letter, on Declen- 
 »ion9 in Religion^ for the press : found some very tender feel- 
 ings towards the latter part of it, and enjoyed a good deal of 
 pleasure, on the whole, in writing it. 
 
 " 12.-A good forenoon in preaching on returning to our rest. 
 It is rare for me to have so good an opportunity. Rather a poor 
 afternoon ; but preached with some earnestness, at night, from 
 Psa. cxxxix. 3. 
 
 M 26. — But a poor day, yesterday, in meditation ; yet this day 
 has been, I think, one of the best I have experienced for years. 
 Most tenderly and earnestly affected, both in prayer and in 
 preaching. In the morning, I could scarcely go on, for weep- 
 ing, while preaching from Acts iv. 33. — ' Great grace was 
 upon them all.' Not quite so well in the afternoon, though I 
 was upon the excellency of the knoivledge of Christ. Yet I 
 felt a sweet serenity at the Lord's supper, and spake of it under 
 the idea of a feast. 
 
 <« 28. — My mind all taken up, this morning, with what it 
 would be better for me not to be so anxious about : exceed- 
 ingly depressed all day. 
 
 « 29. — Pleasant conversation with some persons newly awak- 
 ened. Heard Dr. Addington, to-night, on our light afflictions^ 
 with pleasure and profit ; but walked alone, in the fields, ex- 
 ceedingly disconsolate. 
 
 " July 2. — Some degree of calmness, to-day : felt more dis- 
 posed to cast all my care on the Lord. An awful providence^ 
 
MR. FULLER. 97 
 
 of a young woman's poisoning herself, at , was very 
 
 aiFeciing to me. 
 
 « 3. — Another exceedingly melting Sabbath : very tender 
 and earnest in prayer, and in preaching on casting our care on 
 the Lord : and in the afternoon, on the caution given, to glory, 
 not in wisdom, strength, or riches, but in the knoivkdge of God. 
 Preached, in the evening, from * Turn away mine eyes from 
 beholding vanity ;* occasioned by my own past exercises, and 
 apphed to the warning of people against the vanities of the 
 world ; particularly against improper behaviour at their feast, 
 which is to-morrow: found great tenderness ; particularly in 
 warning the youth, from the example of the young woman, who 
 last week came to such an awful end. 
 
 " 6. — Attended Mr. Payne's ordination, at Walgrave. I had 
 a very good time indeed, in hearing the charge. I preached, 
 in the afternoon, to the church, from Heb. xiii. 17. [He took 
 much affectionate pains to bring about a reconciliation with 
 some members who were dissatisfied, and succeeded] 
 
 "July 10, 1785 — A very good forenoon, to-day, on God*3 
 dwelling in us, and walking in us ; though not equal to the two 
 Lord's days past. 
 
 w 16. — Some pleasure, in thinking on God's power to do 
 abundantly more than we can ask or think. Surely he had need 
 have more power in giving, than I have in asking ! 
 
 « 17. — A very good forenoon, on the above subject : not so 
 well the rest of the day ; but felt some earnestness in the 
 evening. 
 
 " 23. — Felt my soul mAich in prison, to-day. Have been 
 hinking of Psa. cxlii. 7- — < Bring my soul out of prison,' &c. 
 but much locked up all day. 
 
 « 24. — A pretty good forenoon, on the above subject : mucli 
 solemn feeling in prayer, on the ruined state of man by nature : 
 was helped to deplore it before God, on behalf of myself and 
 the congregation. Some earnestness, in the afternoon, on 
 God's being known in Judah ; and the like, at Loddiiigton, in 
 the evening. 
 
 " 25. — I was much impressed, this morning, in reading 
 Mason's Remains. Felt much affected and very solemn, m 
 13 
 
98 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 praying- and conversing with a poor woman at Barton, who 
 seems not likely to be here long, and is much in the dark as 
 to her state. 
 
 '' Aug. 1 . — Some affectionate emotions of heart, in prayer, to- 
 night, at the monthly prayer-meeting. Surely unbelief damps 
 our near addresses to God, and sometiiing of that ungrateful 
 suspicion, which asks, * What prohi shall we have if we pray 
 unto him ?* lies at tiie bottom of our indifference in this duty. 
 
 i<- 3 — Chiefly employed, to-day, in visiting poor friends. I 
 have been too deficient in this practice. 
 
 a 4. — Visited several more poor friends : some conversation 
 profitable ; but I mix all with sin. 
 
 « 6. — Some tenderness, in thinking on Jonah iii. 4. — ' I said 
 I am cast out of thy sight ; yet will I look again,' &c. We 
 
 have had some awful providences of late. Mr. , of 
 
 , has hanged himself, and a poor woman of B. seems 
 
 in the very jaws of desperation. These things have led me 
 to think on something that may be an antidote to despair. 
 
 « 7, — A very good forenoon, on the above subject. Some 
 seriousness also, this afternoon, on Prov. xxviii. 14. — ^ Blessed 
 is he that feareth alway.' Preached, to-night, on man*s being 
 « abominable and filthy^ with much earnestness. 
 
 " 22. — Rode to Arnsby. Had a very good time, in preach- 
 ing there, this evening ; but a sinful heart spoils all. 
 
 "27. — Very little spirituaHty throughout the day. I know 
 not how to think a good thought. 
 
 <i 28. — A pretty good Sabbath : in the morning, from Psa. 
 xl. — * Lo, I come,' &c. and, in the afternoon, from Psa. xciv. 19. 
 
 ** Sept. 25. — It can answer no end to write, when there is 
 nothing material to write about. In future, therefore, I think 
 only to notice some of the most material exercises and events 
 of my life, which I mean merely for my own use. 
 
 « 30. — We had a Minister's Meeting, at Northampton. I 
 preached, and Brother Sutcliff, and Brother Skinner, But the 
 best part of the day was, I think, in conversation. A question 
 was discussed, to the following purport : To 'what causes, in 
 ministers, may much of their want of success be imfiuted ? The 
 answer turned chiefly upon the want of personal religion ; par- 
 ticularly, the neglect of close dealing with God in cloaet-firayer- 
 
MK. FULLER. 9^' 
 
 Jer. X. 21. was referred to : ' Their pastors are become brutish, 
 and have not sought the Lord ; therefore they shall not prosper, 
 and their flocks shall be scattered.* Another reason assigned 
 was, the want of readins^ and studying the Scriptures more as 
 Christians^ for the edification of our own souls We are too 
 apt to study them, merely to find out something to say to others^ 
 without living upon the truth ourselves. If we eat not the 
 book before we deliver its contents to others, we may expect 
 the Holy Spirit will not much accompany us. If we study the 
 Scriptures as Christians, the more familiar we are with them, 
 the more we shall feel their importance ; but, if otherwise, our 
 familiarity with the word will be like that of soldiers, doctors, 
 or grave diggers, with death — it will wear away all sense of its 
 importance from our minds. To enforce this sentiment, Prov, 
 xxii. 17, 18. was referred to: ' Apply thine heart to knowl- 
 edge — the words of the wise will be pleasant, if thou keep them 
 within thee ; they shall withal be fitted in thy lips.* To this 
 might be added, Psa. i. 2, 3. Another reason was, our want 
 of being emptied of self-sufficiency. In proportion as we lean 
 upon our own gifts, or parts, or preparations, we slight the Holy 
 Spirit ; and no wonder that, being grieved, he should leave us 
 to do our work alone. Besides, when this is the case, it is, 
 humanly speaking, unsafe for God to prosper us, especially 
 those ministers who possess considerable abilities. Reference 
 was also made to an Ordination Sermon, lately preached, by 
 Mr. Booth, of London, to Mr. Hopkins, Dr. Gifford*s succes- 
 sor, from * Take heed to thyself.* O that I may remember 
 these hints for my good !* 
 
 • I well remember the discussion of this question, which fully occupied 
 the evening. Another had been discussed, after dinner, respecting vil. 
 lage preaching-~What was a sufficient call, to attempt introducing it into 
 places where it had not been usual before ^ — which, therefore, seems to 
 leave no room for that ill-natured anecdote, resp'-cting my father and 
 young Carey, to have taken phtce this year, which is said to have been be, 
 fore the end of 1786 : whereas my father had left Northampton before 
 the Ministers' Meeting in 1786. And I must consider it as very un- 
 likely to have occurred in 1785, for several strong reasons I never heard 
 of it, till I saw it in print, and cannot credit it. No man prayed and 
 preached about the latter-day glory ^ more than my father : nor did I ever 
 hear such sentiments proceed from his lips, as are there ascribed to him. 
 It is true, he admitted the idea of 9. personal reign of Christ upon earth. 
 
100 lyiEMOIRS OF 
 
 " Oct. 3, 1785.— At the monthly prayer-meeting, 1 felt very 
 tender, and was much affected in prayer. 1 have frequently 
 felt thus at these opportunities ; and yet I have so little heart to 
 wrestle with God alone. I cannot tell how to account for this. 
 
 " 5. — Rode to Corby, and preached with much earnestness 
 and tenderness, from I sai. Ivii. 15. Felt some encouragement 
 CD hearing of one person, at this place, to whose conversion, it 
 is hoped, my ministry has been made instrumental. The sermon 
 Avas on Jan 22, 1784. from Matt. xi. 29. 
 
 *• 6. — Returned from Corby, and rode to Spratton ; where I 
 preached, with much pleasure, on taking hold of God's cove- 
 nant : felt a freedom in speaking to unconverted sinners. 
 
 " 7 — Wein home, by Northampton : spake at their church- 
 meeting, but with no manner of pleasure.* 
 
 *' 9.-Some earnestness, this morning, on sin being a refiroach ; 
 but a miserable afternoon, from Psa. xxxii. 6. Between after- 
 noon and evening, I was told of a young man, to whom I had 
 been made useful about two years ago, having a desire to join the 
 church. I have for some time felt a kind of despair, in preach- 
 ing to sinners ; thinking, that, on account of my being so car- 
 nally-minded. God would never bless any thing I said. This 
 instance, and that of last Wednesday, setm to afford some en- 
 couragement, and to make me think that it is possible, however, 
 for God to work even by me I and that when 1 think nothing 
 
 between the first and second resurrection, (in which he followed Dr Gill, 
 and supposed, that tliis period is properly to be styled, the IVlillennium ; 
 but he also expected, that, long before this, the gospel would be spread all 
 over the world, and the fulness of the Jews and of the Gentiles be brought 
 into the church ; and I never remember his expressing an expectation of 
 miraculous gifis being granted, for that end Joseph Perry, a Baptist min- 
 ister of Flower, near >»"orthanii)ton, was the first writer, of whom 1 have 
 any knowledge, who distinguished b* tween the spiritual and the personal 
 reign of Christ. Jf the Scotch Baptists agreed with Dr Gill, on this sub- 
 ject, I do not see how their opinion, whether it be right or wrong, could 
 prove any impediment to exertion for spreading the gospel. What they 
 denominated the latter-day glory. o\ the spiritual reign of Christ, would 
 be none the less desir;il>le, nor less the object of exertion, on account of its 
 being f<jllowcd by his personal reign, after the first resurrection. K. 
 
 * I know some of his hearers thought this discourse peculiarly striking. 
 It was on the nature and advantages of true conversion. 
 
MR. FULLER. 101 
 
 can be done, then it is possible for God to work. I have long 
 sown in tears : O that 1 might, in some degree, at least, reap in 
 joy ! Preached at nighi, with an unusual affection of heart, 
 and sense of everlasting things, from Job xvi.22.-' When a few 
 years are come,' &c. 
 
 ** lO.-This evening I was visited by the young man mention- 
 ed yesterday : heard him speak of God's work upon his soul, 
 with some pleasure. 
 
 " 3 1. -Within these last two or three weeks, I have had some 
 distressing feelings. Twice I dreamed that I had fallen into 
 some great wickedness, and that it was known. Though I 
 would not pay any superstitious regard to dreams ; yet, know- 
 ing what a weak and sinful creature I am, I fear lest it should 
 come to pass. I wish the sense I then felt of the painfulness 
 of guilt may abide upon my mind, and serve to keep me from 
 evil. On Lord's day, the 16th, I preached on fieace, in the 
 morning, and on joy, in the afternoon ; yet had but little of that 
 about which I preached. On the 23d, I preached, on fiut' 
 ting on the Lord Jesus, with some freedom. On the 25th, 
 preached at Walgrave, or carnal-mindedness ; and, at Scald- 
 well, from Job xvi. 22. Rode to Northampton, on the 26th. 
 Brother R. noticed the need there is of watching, lest, while 
 we defend practical religion ministerially, we should neglect 
 it personally ; referring to a passage in Dr. Owen, on tempt- 
 ation.* 
 
 • '* Entering into temptation may be seen in the least degrees of it. 
 As, for instance, when the heart begins secretly to like the matter of the 
 temptation, and is content to feed it, and increase it by any ways that it 
 may, without downi'ight sin. 
 
 ** Suppose a man begins to be in repute for piety, wisdom, learning or 
 the like ; he is spoken of much on that account ; his heart is tickled to 
 hear of it ; and liis pride and ambition are affected with it. If this man 
 now, with all his strength, ply the things from whence his reputation, es- 
 teem, and glory among men spring, with a secret eye to have it increased, 
 he is entering into temptation ; which, if he take not heed, will quickly 
 render him a ff/are of lust. So it was with Jehu: he perceived that his 
 repute for zeal began to spread abroad, and that he got honour by it. Jo- 
 uadab comes in his way, a good and holy man. « Now, (thi ks Jehu,) I 
 have an opportunity to grow in the honour of my zeal.' So he calls Jo- 
 nadab to him, and to work he goes most seriously. The things he did 
 •were good in themselves : but he was entered into temptation, and served 
 
102 MEMOIRS Oh 
 
 "Nov. 21, 1785. — For above a fortnight past, I have been 
 chiefly out in journies to Bedford, Arnsby, Bosworth, Ellington, 
 Guilsborough, and Spratton. Preached at each of these places, 
 with more or less earnestness. Came home on Friday, and 
 spoke with some tenderness, from * Hold thou me up, and I 
 shall be safe.' On Lord's day, I preached on the evil nature 
 and dangerous tendency of mental departures from God^ from 
 Prov. xiv. 14. Also, on soul-firos/ierity, from 3 John ii. Had a 
 tender and earnest mind. 
 
 « 29. — This week I had some profitable conversation with 
 Mrs. B. W. An observation from her brought conviction to 
 
 his lust in all he did. So it is with many scholars; they find themselves 
 esteemed and favoured for their learning : this takes hold of the pride and 
 ambition of their hearts : hence they set themselves to study with all dili- 
 gence, day and night — a thing good in itself: but they do it, that they may 
 satisfy the thoughts and words of men, wherein they delight : and so, in 
 all they do, they make provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof It 
 is true God often brings light out of this darkness, and turns things to a 
 better issue After, it may be, a man has studied sonje years with an eye 
 upon his lusts, ambition, pride, and vain-glory, rising early and going to 
 bed late, to give them satisfaction, God comes in with his grace, turns the 
 soul to himself, and so robs these Egyptian lusts, and consecrates that to 
 the use of the tabernacle which was provided for idols 
 
 ** Men may be thus entangled in better things than learning' ; even in 
 the profession of pieit/, in their labour in the ministry, and the like. 
 
 *• Some men's profession is a snare to them They are in reputation, 
 and are much honoured on the account of their profession and strict walk- 
 ing. This often falls out in the days wherein we live, wherein all things 
 are carried by parties. Some find themselves, on the accounts mentioned, 
 perhaps, to be the darlings and ingentia decora, or glory, of their party. 
 If thoughts hereof secretly insinuate themselves into their hearts, and in- 
 fluence them to more than ordinary diligence and activity in their way and 
 profession, they are entangled, and instead of aiming at more glori/, had 
 seed lie in the dust, in a sense of their own vileness ; and so close is this 
 temptation, that oftentimes it requires no food to feed upon, but that he 
 who is entangled with it do avoid all means and ways of honour and repu- 
 tation, so that it can but whisper in the heart that that avoidance is hon- 
 ourable. 
 
 *• The same may be the condition with men, as was said, in preaching 
 the gospel, in the work of the miniatry. Many things in that work may 
 procure them esteem — their ability, their plainness, their frequency, their 
 success : and all, in this sense, may be fuel unto temptation. Let then, a 
 man know, that when he likes that which feeds his lust, and keeps it up, 
 by ways either good in themselves^ or not downright sinful, he is entered 
 
MR. FCTLLER* 103 
 
 my mind, viz. * That ministers were not now in general so 
 spiritual in their conversation as formerly/ I wish this may do 
 me good! I feel very low in mind a great part of this week- 
 It seems to me, that when I was last at N. (on the 18th,) I had 
 so little heavenly-mindedness, that my dear Brother was grieved 
 and dispirited to see me. On Friday 1 wrote to him on these 
 subjects, and received an answer on Lord's day, in which he 
 laments that * surely there is scarcely any thing worth the name 
 of religion left upon earth !'* Had some pleasure on church 
 meeting day, (the 24th,) in speaking from Isai. xxxv. 6, 7. and 
 on Lord's day, at the Supper, 1 preached with considerable en- 
 largement from Prov. xviii. 10. and in the evening on salvation 
 by grace, from Acts x v. 11. 
 
 " — Preached at Burton, on Psa. ex. 2. Some serious con- 
 versation with a friend, on the danger of inordinate attachment 
 to a minister, &c. 
 
 " Dec. 6 — Pretty much taken up of late in learning some- 
 thing of the Greek language. Many painful feelings for 
 young people, excited by the misconduct of two persons, who 
 though they never made any profession of religion, yet were 
 brought up under the word. O what an easy yoke is Christ's, 
 and what an hard one is that of Satan ! I hope there is something 
 of a work of God going forward amongst us. 1 have lately heard 
 of six or seven, who have been observed to hear with much at- 
 tention and affection. 
 
 ** 7. — Visted one of our friends, and had some tender conver- 
 sation on the state of our young people j felt my heart go out 
 for their salvation. 
 
 " 11. — I had a very good day in preaching : in the morning, 
 on ' My God shall supply all your need,' &c. and in the after- 
 noon on the gospel being * a savour of life unto life,' Sec. The 
 latter subject was exceeding awful, and my spirit very solemn. 
 Rode to Geddington, and preached on Nathaniel's question to 
 Phihp, with Philip's answer. 
 
 • I know that this friend had a very different reason for appearing dis- 
 pirited, and that he made a remark respecting this very visit of Mr. Fuller 
 — " He prayed with great spirituality, his conversatioa editjing. The 
 Lord preserve^iid sauQtify our friendship !" 
 
104 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 (( IS. — To-day I had a very tender fofetioon, in preaching 
 from Jer- i. 4, 5. O how my heart went forth in desire after 
 the salvation of souls, for some of the greatest of sinners; par- 
 ticularly for a poor wretched young woman, the daughter of 
 one of our members. She had been, through her own wicked 
 conduct, kept away from public worship for a year past. I 
 lately heard that she was in a state of despair, and had resolved 
 never to come to meeting again. But this morning she appeared 
 in the meeting. The sight of her much affected me, and was 
 the means of a vf^ry tender forenoon. In the afternoon I 
 preached on the great things of God's law being counted as 
 */rc7z^<? things; but alas! my heart seems as strange and as 
 alien from the spirit of true religion, as any tiling I can talk 
 about! O what a poor, mutable creature am I ! Somewhat re- 
 vived to-nii(ht in hearing more about a Mrs. D. I hope she 
 is a godly woman. I find she had a daughter, who died about 
 twelve months ago, and who gave strong evidence of her piety 
 while her father and mother were in ignorance. The mother 
 now says, that she believes the means of her daughter's conver- 
 sion was, her attending on a child's burial, with some other 
 children, and hearing me speak to the young people present on 
 that occasion. It seems a strange thing that God should do any 
 thing by me !'* 
 
 " 1786. — Some painful reflections in thinking on my vast 
 deficiencies. Another year is gone, and what what have I done 
 for God ? O that my life were more devoted to God ! I feel as 
 if I could wish to set out afresh for heaven, but alas, my de- 
 sires seem but too much like those of the sluggard. 
 
 " Jan. 8. — Very earnest this morning in public prayer. O 
 that God may work on the minds of our youth and children. 
 Some tenderness in preaching three times to day, from 2 Sam. 
 xxii. 47. * The Lord liveth. Sec* Psa. xlv. 10, 1 1. * Hearken, O 
 daughter,* 8cc. and Eph. ii. 12. ' Without God in the world.' I 
 hope there is somewhat of a work of God going on amongst 
 us. I have been visited by a young man who gives very prom- 
 ising evidence of being a subject of true religion, so far as can 
 be judged by a conversation. Also a young woman has been 
 with me, who appears to be very tender-hearted, meek, and 
 lowly in mind. Some things of this sort are encouraging. 
 
MR. FULLER. 105 
 
 " 15.— Preached at home on keeping the Sabbath, from Isa. 
 Iviii. 13, 14. At night went to Warkton and with more than 
 usual feeling and affection, preached from Luke xiii. 3. On 
 Tuesday preached at Geddington, about blind Bartimeus : next 
 morning rode to Bedford, and to Shefford with brother Sutcliff, 
 where I preached on putting on the Lord Jesus. Felt some 
 pleasure there, in company with some other ministers, in ad- 
 vising the people to moderation in their opposition to a minister 
 
 who is now a probationer at S . Heard Mr. Carver at 
 
 Southhill, and preached at Bedford. Returned home on Fri- 
 day. I have heard since of the sermon at Bedford, on soul 
 prosperity, being blessed to the conversion of a poor man. 
 
 [See the account of his exercises of mind, about this time re- 
 specting the illness and death of his daughter Sally, in Chap. 
 IX.] 
 
 " April 16. — To-day I felt some encouragement in my work, 
 from hearing of a young man hopefully converted, by hearing 
 me preach from Col. i. 13. 
 
 « 28.1 — Riding to Towcester, was exceedingly affected and 
 importunate with God for the soul of my poor little girl. I felt 
 indeed the force of those words, ' Lord, to whom shall we go ? 
 Thou hast the words of eternal life !' The * words of eternal 
 life' — O, of what worth to an immortal, guilty creature — a 
 creature subject to eternal death ! INIy heart seemed to be dis- 
 solved in earnest cries for mercy, particularly on the other side 
 of Blisworth. Enjoyed a good opportunity in hearing the charge 
 to Mr. Skinner, by Brother Sutcliff, from Matth. xxviii. 20- 
 * Lo I am with you always/ &c. and the sermon to the church by 
 Brother R. jun. from Heb. xiii. 22. ' Suffer the word of ex- 
 hortation.' I preached in the evening, from Psa. i. 2, 3. with 
 some pleasure. 
 
 " June — Though I have felt resignation and serenity, as to 
 the death of my child, since that event was decided by an infal- 
 lible God ; yet, alas ! I feel the insufficiency of trouble, however 
 heavy, to destroy or mortify sin. I have had sad experience 
 of my own depravity, even while under the very rod of God ! 
 
 " 6, — Rode to Northampton to our annual Association. I am 
 glad to find the state of the c^iurches upon the whole encouraging. 
 U 
 
106 MEMOIRS OK 
 
 The next day I and Mr. Hopper and Mr. Sutcliff preached; but 
 1 wanted more spirituality. 
 
 u 8 — We had a very affecting time in communicating ex- 
 periences. For my part, I fear something more awful than 
 the death of the child awaits me. Though I have been in the 
 fire, yet my dross is not removed • nay, it seems to be increased. 
 My family is now afflicted nearly throughout 1 For all this his 
 anger is not turned anvay^ but his hand is stretched out still. 
 
 •'11. Lord's day. — Had a good day, on the Lord's giving us 
 peace by all means. I know not how I go on.* On the Lord's 
 days I am tender-hearted, and seem disposed to lie low before 
 God, and to be more watchful and spiritual ; but alas, how 
 soon do I forget God 1 I have a fountain of poison in ray very 
 nature. Surely I am as a beast before thee ! 1 have been 
 preaching at Moulton and Hardingstone this week, and seemed 
 to feel at both places ; and yet I am far from a spiritual frame 
 of mind. I felt some tenderness in riding home on June the 
 16th, in thinking on Jer. xxxi. 2 — ' The people that were left 
 of the sword found grace in the wilderness.* On the Lord's 
 day, the I8th, had a pretty good day, in preaching from the 
 above text. I heard last week that Mr. Hall of Arnsby had 
 been preaching from Prov. xxx. 2. — ' Surely I am more brutish 
 than any man, &c.* I am sure that passage is more applicable 
 to me than it can be to him : I therefore preached from it 
 to-day. At night I preached a very searching discourse, from 
 Lam. iii. 40. chiefly for the purpose of self-conviction." 
 
 [After this sixteen or eighteen leaves have been destroyed, 
 and the next entry that remains is dateci — ] 
 
 " Oct. 3, 1789. — For above a year and a half I have written 
 nothing. It has seemed to me that my life was not worth writ- 
 ing. Two or three years ago my heart began wretchedly to 
 degenerate from God. Soon after my child Sally died, I sunk 
 into a sad state of lukewarmness ; and have felt the effects of 
 it ever since. I feel at times a longing after the lost joys of 
 God's salvation ; but cannot recover them. I have backslidden 
 from God ; and yet I may rather be said to be habitually de- 
 jected on account of it, than earnestly to repent of it. I find 
 
 * 2 Cor. xii. 7. 1 think would partly explain it. 
 
MR. FULLER. 107 
 
 much hardness of heart, and a spirit of inactivity has laid hold 
 of ine. I feel that to be carnally-minded is death. My spiritual 
 enemies have been too much for me. Sometime ago I set 
 apart a day for fasting and prayer, and seemed to get some 
 strength in pleading with God. The very next cay, as 1 re- 
 member, I iound my heart so wandenng from God, and such 
 a load of guilt contracted, that I was affrighted at my own 
 prayer the preceeding day, lest it should have provoked the 
 Lord to punish me, by leaving me so suddenly ; and 1 have 
 not set apart a day to fast and pray since. But surely this was 
 one of Satan's devices, by which 1 have been imposed upon. 
 Perhaps also, 1 trusted too much to my fasting and praying, 
 and did not on that account, follow it with sutficient watch- 
 fulness. 
 
 " In the month of May I preached with some feeling from 
 Job xxix. 2. — ' O that it were with me as in months past,' &c. 
 During this summer, I have sometimes thought what joy Christ- 
 ians might possess in this world, were they but to improve their 
 opportunities and advantages What grounds of joy does the 
 gospel afford ! What joy was possessed by the primitive Clirist- 
 ians ! 1 have preached two or three times upon these subjects. 
 Once from John xv. 1 1 . — ' These things have 1 spoken untO" 
 you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might 
 be full 1' Another time from Nch. viii. 10. — ^ The joy of the 
 Lord is your strength.' And again from Mark xi. 24. * What- 
 soever things ye desire when ye pray, believe that ye shall re- 
 ceive them, and ye shall receive them ;' in which the chief sen- 
 timent on which I insisted was, that cow^^c/ewce m God's goodness 
 ivas necessary to our success in prayer. Another time I 
 preached from ' Count it all joy when ye fall into divers tempt- 
 ations.' 
 
 " These subjects have tended sometimes to make me long 
 after that joy and peace in believing, which I have heretofore 
 found. But joy of heart is a feeling I cannot yet recover. 
 
 " Jan. 20, 1790. — During the last quarter of a year I seem 
 to have gained some ground in spiritual things. I have read 
 some of Jonathan Edwards's Sermons, which have left a deep 
 impression on my heart. 1 have attended more constantly than 
 
lOb MEMOIRS OF 
 
 heretofore to private prayer, and felt a little renewed strength. 
 Sometimes also I have been much affected in public prayer 
 particularly on Monday, January the 4th, at the monthly prayer 
 meeting. I felt much afraid lest some uncomfortable debates 
 ■which we have had in the church, though now finished, should 
 have grieved the Holy Spirit, and quenched our affection for 
 each other, and so lest our spiritual welfare as a church, should 
 be essentially injured. 
 
 « Sometimes I have been discouraged, and afraid that God 
 would never bless me again. In my preaching, though I am at 
 times affected with what I say, yet as to doing good to others, 
 I go on as if I had no hope of it. Repeated disappointments, 
 and long want of success, make me feel as if I were not to 
 expect success. 
 
 "Last Friday evening I was affected with the subject of 
 divine ivithdrawment^ and especially with the thought of being 
 contented in such a state. If we lose our daily bread we can- 
 not live, if we lose our health we are miserable, if we lose a 
 dear friend we are the same : and can we lose the bread of life, 
 the health of our souls, and the best friend of all, and be un- 
 concerned ? Last Lord's day I preached upon the desirableness 
 of nearness to God, from Psa. xxvii. 9. — 'Hide not thy face 
 from me ; put not thy servant away in anger ; thou hast been 
 my help ; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my sal- 
 vation.' 
 
 Feb. 1 6. — For these last three weeks I have too much again 
 relapsed into a kind of thoughtlessness. I have felt a little in 
 preaching, but not much. One day, I was looking over Dr. 
 Owen on the Mortification of Sin. Speaking of the evil of sin 
 in the soul unmortified, he says, — ' It will take away a man's 
 usefulness in his generation. His works, his endeavours, his 
 labours seldom receive a blessing from God. If he be a preach- 
 er, God commonly blows upon his ministry, so that he shall 
 labour in the fire, and not be honoured with success. This, in 
 a great degree, is realized in me. 
 
 « March 27. — Some weeks ago I thought I felt myself to 
 gain ground by closet prayer ; but I have lately relapsed again 
 too much into indifference. Yesterday I read Jonathan Ed- 
 wards's two sermons, On the imfiortance of a thorough knonvl' 
 
MR. FULLER. 160 
 
 edge of divine truths from Heb. v. 12. I felt this effect — a de- 
 sire to rise earlier, to read more, and to make the discovery of 
 truth more a business. This morning I have read another of his 
 sermons, on God the Christian*s portion^ from Psa. Ixxiii. 25. 
 The latter part comes very close, and I feel myself at a loss 
 what to judge as to God's being my chief good. He asks, 
 whether we had rather live in this world rich, and without God, 
 or poor and with him ? Perhaps I should not be so much at a 
 loss to decide this question as another ; namely. Had I rather 
 be rich in this world, and enjoy but little of God ; or poor, and 
 enjoy much of God ? I am confident the practice of great 
 numbers of professing Christians declares, that they prefer the 
 former j and in some instances I feel guilty of the same thing. 
 
 "In the course of this summer, (1790) I have sometimes 
 enjoyed a tenderness of heart in preaching. On June 27th, at 
 the Lord's supper, I was affected with this subject, * Do this 
 in remembrance of me.' I was also greatly affected on Sep- 
 tember 5, in preaching from Gal. vi. 7. ' Whatsoever a man 
 soweth that shall he also reap.' But yet in general I have but 
 little of the joys of salvation. I do not feel tempted to evil as 
 heretofore, but yet all is not right. O for a closer walk with 
 God! 
 
 " At the close of this year the review of my life afforded me 
 neither pleasure nor what may be called pain ; but rather a 
 kind of discouragement too common of late with me. 
 
 « From April (1790) I have begun to expound the book of 
 Psalms, and sometimes have enjoyed pleasure therein." 
 
 " 1791. — In the spring of this year there appeared a religious 
 concern among some of our young people. I proposed to 
 meet them once a week at the vestry, to talk and pray with 
 them. I hope this has been of use both to me and them. I 
 find there are some hopeful appearances in neighbouring 
 churches. May the Lord revive his own work. 
 
 " I feel some return of peace, but am not as I would be. 
 Reading Owen on Spiritual-mindedness, I feel afraid lest ail 
 should not be right with me at last. What I have of spiritual- 
 ity, as I account it, seems rather occasional than habitual. 
 
 " Towards the latter end of this summer, I heard of some 
 revival of religion about Walgrave and Guilsborough ; and that 
 
I 10 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 the means of it were their setting apart days for lasting and 
 prayer. From hence 1 thought we had been long praying for 
 the revival of God's cause, and the spread of the gospel among 
 the heathen, Sec. and perhaps God would begin with us at home 
 first. I was particularly affected with this thought, by finding 
 it in the sixty -seventh Psalm, which 1 was expounding about 
 the same time : O that God's being merciful to us, and bless- 
 ing us, might be the means of his way being made known upon 
 earth, and his saving health among all nations ; at least among 
 a part of them. 
 
 " O to be spiritually alive among ourselves ! One Monday 
 evening, I think in October, I told our friends of some such 
 things, and prayed with them with more than usual affection. 
 I was particularly encouraged by the promise of giving the 
 Holy Spirit to them that ask. Surely if ever I wrestled with 
 God in my life I did so then, for more grace, for forgiveness, 
 for the restoration of the joys of salvation ; and that not only 
 for myself, but for the generality of Christians among us, 
 whom I plainly perceived to be in a poor lukewarm state» 
 when compared with the primitive Christians. 
 
 " The 27th of December, I set apart for fasting and prayer. 
 I felt tender in the course of the day. Thought with some 
 encouragement of Psa. cxix. 176. — * I have gone astray like a 
 lost sheep ; seek thy servant, for I do not forget thy command- 
 ments.* I employed a considerable part of the day in reading 
 Owen on the Mortification of Sin. A review of the past year, 
 and of several past years, tended to humble me. 
 
 " I felt tender on Friday evening, December 30, in addressing 
 my friends from Psa. xc. 14 on the mercy of God as the origin 
 of all solid joy. 
 
 »k 1792 — This year was begun, or nearly so, with a day of 
 solemn fasting and prayer, kept by us as a church. It was a 
 most affecting time with me and many more. — Surely we never 
 had such a spirit of prayer amongst us 1 
 
 '< On the 2d of April, we lost our dear and worthy deacon, 
 Mr. Beeby Wallis.* The next church meeting was kept as a 
 
 • Ml'. Fuller published a funeral sermon for this very excellent man, 
 in which he has given a just delineation of his character, and tome ac- 
 
MR. FDLLER. Ill 
 
 day of solemn fasting and prayer. During this and the last 
 year we have iiad a good deal of religious concern among the 
 young people of the congregation. I set up a private meet- 
 ing, in which I might read, and pray, and converse with them ; 
 and have found it good both to them and me. This spring 
 several of them joined the church." 
 
 [For the exercises of his mind in the time of Mrs. Fuller's 
 last illness and death, see Chap. IX.] 
 
 " July 18, 1794. — Within the last two years I have experi- 
 enced perhaps as much peace and calmness of mind, as at any 
 former period. 1 have been enabled to walk somewhat more 
 near to God than heretofore ; and 1 find that there is nothing 
 that affords such a preservative against sin. ' If we walk in 
 
 count of his ancestors, who were the first pastors of the Baptist church at 
 Kettering. 
 
 He was buried under a sycamore-tree, which he had planted in the meet- 
 ing yard, the ground having been originally given by him ; and the fol- 
 lowing epitaph, composed by Mr. P'uller, was inscribed on his tomb *. 
 
 Kind Sycamore, preserve beneath thy shade 
 The precious dust of him who cherish'd thee : 
 Nor thee alone ; a plant to him more dear 
 He cherish'd, and with fostering hand uprear'd- 
 Active and generous in virtue's cause. 
 With solid wisdom, strict integrity, 
 And unaffected piety, he liv'd 
 Belov'd amongst us, and belov'd he died. 
 Beneath an Allon-Bacuth Jacob wept : 
 Beneath thy sha<le we mourn a heavier loss. 
 
 His widow, Mrs. Martha Wallis, a valuable friend to Mr. Fuller, and 
 to the cause of Christ, long survived her husband, and entered into rest, 
 Oct. 17, 1812. She was buried in the same vault with him ; and the epi- 
 taph was altered as follows: 
 
 Kind Sycamore, preserve beneath thy shade 
 The precious dust of those who cherish'd thee ; 
 Nor thee alone ; a plant to them more dear 
 They cherish'd, and with foatering hand uprear'd ; 
 Amongst whose fairest and most fruitful boughs 
 The name of Wallis has for ages rank'd : 
 And still it lives, and shall for years to come 
 Live fragrant in our recollecting thoughts. 
 
112 MEMOIKS OF 
 
 the Spirit, we shall not fulfil the lusts of the flesh.* This pas- 
 sage has been of great use to me, ever since I preached from 
 it, which was on June 3, 1792. The idea on which I then prin- 
 cipally insisted was, that sin is to be overcome^ not so much by 
 a direct or mere resistance of it ^ as by opfiosing other firincijiles. 
 and considerations to it. This sentiment has been abundantly, 
 verified in my experience : so far as I have walked in the Spir- 
 it, so far has my life been holy and happy ; and I have experi- 
 enced a good degree of these blessings, compared with former 
 times, though but a very small degree, compared with what I 
 ought to aspire after. 
 
 [See more of this date in Chap. VII.] 
 " I have lately spoken some strong language against the sin 
 of covetousness. O that I may never be left to that spirit my- 
 self ! I have been concerned, this morning, lest I should. We 
 know but little of what we are, till we are tried ! I dreamed, last 
 night, that a person of a religious and generous character was 
 making his observations upon Dissenters— that there were but 
 few eminently holy and benevolent characters among them. On 
 waking, my thoughts ran upon this subject. I felt, that there 
 was too much truth in it; (though, perhaps, no truth, if they were 
 viewed in comparison with other denominations ;) and possessed 
 an ardent desire, that let others do what they would, I and mine 
 might live, not to ourselves, but to Him who died for us ! It 
 seemed a lovely thing, which is said of Christ — '' He went about, 
 doing good I* O that, whatever I may, at any time possess of 
 this world's good, it might be consecrated to God ! The Lord 
 ever preserve me from the mean vice of covetousness ! 
 
 " I felt very tender last night, in preaching from Job xxix. 2. 
 *-< O that I were as in months past,* &c. I do think, the last 
 two years have been the best two years of my life ; but within 
 a few months, I have felt a spirit of declension coming upon 
 me. 
 
 « May 12, 1796. — For a long time past, I have written noth- 
 ing : not because I have been uncomfortable ; perhaps I never 
 lived a year in my life, in which I enjoyed more of the pleasures 
 of religion, than in 1795, especially at the Association, which 
 was held at Kettering : but my time has been so taken up, 
 about missionary and other public matters, and I have had 
 
MR. B'ULLEft', 113 
 
 50 much writing- on those subjects ; that hence, and on account 
 of writing being against the complaint in my head, I have de- 
 clined it in this book." 
 
 I am satisfied that intelligent readers will know what use to 
 make of these valuable extracts ; never intended indeed for pub- 
 lic view, and almost prohibited from being seen ; but which I have 
 ventured to make, under a strong persuasion that if I could 
 now. consult my dear departed friend, he would be satisfied 
 with the reasons of my conduct ; and indeed apprehending that 
 I have done only as he would have done by another in like cir- 
 cumstances. Much there is to show what a poor creature is 
 man, saved, renewed man, even at his best estate. 1 do not ob- 
 ject, and I am very sure he would not, to the idea, that there 
 may be Christians who have got nearer to the mark of our 
 calling, and who have had a fuller enjoyment even beforehand 
 of the prize : would to God they were more numerous, and 
 their attainments far higher. But after all, I am fully satisfied? 
 that the best believer on earth has need of daily pardon, daily 
 aid, daily healing ; and that Mr. Edwards had good ground for 
 the conviction he once expressed — " There is no dependence 
 upon self. It is to no purpose to resolve, except we depend 
 on the grace of God ; for if it were not for his mere grace, 
 one might be a very good man one day, and a very wicked one 
 the next.'* 
 
 " Nevertheless, with all my dear Brother's acknowledged 
 defects and painful conflicts, there was an unspeakable differ- 
 ence between his religion, and that of some high professors in 
 the present day, whose only concern it is to maintain a confi- 
 dence of their own safety, a confidence too often indeed * with- 
 out evidence, from Scripture, sense, or reason ;' and if this can 
 be attained, (and the worst of all spirits would gladly help them 
 to it,) they care but little for sins of omission, and not much for 
 those of commission : godly jealousy they discard, and duty 
 they cannot endure. Individuals it is not my province to judge? 
 and gladly would I hope that some men may have their hearts 
 right with God who express themselves very incautiously. I 
 do not know who made the hymn which I have seen printed in 
 more collections than one ; but nothing I ever saw is more lia- 
 15 
 
i]4 MEMOIRS, &C. 
 
 ble to the worst construction in the world, than such lines as 
 
 these i 
 
 *• Barren although ray soul remain, 
 And not one bud of grace appear, 
 JVo fruit of all ray toil and pain, 
 But sin and on/y sin be here ;" 
 
 Yei I ivill trust and not be afraid^ is the sentiment that fol- 
 lows ! Surely no man who lives in the habitual commission of 
 the grossest sins can describe his case in stronger language 
 than this ; not even the vilest wretch that ever lived in Admah 
 or Ztboim, or either of the other cities of the plain. 
 
 " This I say ;" says Dr. Owen, " under an habitual declension 
 or decay of grace in the spirituality of our affections, no man 
 can keep or maintain a gracious sense of the love of God, or 
 of peace with him." S/iirUual'ini?idednessy 278. "Some would 
 very desirously have evangelical joy. peace, and assurance, to 
 countenance them in their evil frames and careless walking. 
 And some have attempted to reconcile these, to the ruin of their 
 souls. But it will not be. Without the diligent exercise of the 
 grace of obedience, we shall never enjoy the grace of consola- 
 tion." Meditations on the Glory of Christ, p. 168. 
 
 My dear departed friend evidently hungered and thirsted 
 after righteousness ; his soul panted after God, the living God : 
 while Others admired his zeal, his diligence, his acUvity, &c. 
 he was often bewailing his lukewarmness, his sloth, and inac- 
 tivity. Ite had a deep sense of what a Christian ought to be ; 
 he understood the spirituality of the divine law ; he felt the obli- 
 gations of the gospel, which did not supersede, but confirm, 
 enhance, and endear prior obligations ; and hetice, while he 
 trusted to behold God's face in the imputed righteousness of 
 another, he could not be satisfied till he awoke in the likeness 
 of his blessed Saviour. Now, I am well persuaded, he is with 
 him, and is perfectly like him ; for he sees him as he is. He 
 has fought the good fight, he has finished his course, he has 
 kept the faith, and has received the crown of righteousness, 
 which the Lord the righteous Judge will give to all them that 
 love bis appearing. 
 
CHAP. VI. 
 
 AN ACCOUNT OF MR. FDLLEr's VARIOUS PUBLICATIONS^ 
 
 BOTH OF A POLEMICAL AND PRACTICAL NATURE 
 
 HIS EARNEST CONCERN TO BE LED INTO THE TRUTH 
 
 A SOLEMN COVENANT WITH GOD BRIEF NOTICES 
 
 FROM HIP DIARY ON THIS HEAD REMARKS ON SOME 
 
 OF HIS WORKS INTERSPERSED WITH THE CATALOGUE 
 LIST OF MAGAZINE PAPERS INTIMATION OF UN- 
 FINISHED REMAINS. 
 
 THAT Treatise which was written* first by Mr. Fuller, 
 was of a controversial nature, as many of his subsequent 
 publications were. It has been seen in the second chapter, by 
 what means he was led, at a very early period in his religious 
 course, to attend to various theolocjical controversies : and 
 though his first diary, in Chapter III. shows that he was very 
 reluctant to enter into polemical discussions before the public, 
 yet whoever considers the state of our churches, as repre- 
 sented in the first chapter, and is aware of the bearing to- 
 wards Antinomianism which was beginning to infect other de- 
 nominations also, will find reason to bless God for thus qualify- 
 ing him to stem the torrent of False Caivinism. His success 
 among good men, whose hearts were attached to true holiness, 
 as well as to sovereign and efficacious grace, was very exten- 
 sive : though others, respecting whom there is too much rea- 
 son to fear that their error originated in a mind which could not 
 bear subjection to the divine law, have since waxed worse 
 and worse. 
 
 His ardent love of truth, and his earnest concern that God 
 would preserve him from error, on the right hand and on the 
 left, is strongly evinced by the following document, found 
 among his papers since his death. 
 
 It was written as early as January 10, 1780, and occasioned 
 by perusing a piece on the Arminian side, written at the 
 time of the controversy between the Calvinistic and Arminian 
 
 • The Sermon on The JVature and Importanee of Walking by Faiih 
 was first printed, but the other manMseript had been long before prepared 
 for the press. 
 
116 
 
 MEMOIRS OI 
 
 Methodists — a debate which, I have been inclmed to thhik, was 
 not very ably nor fairly conducted on either side. Mr. Ful* 
 ler's paper is entitled, 
 
 A SOLEMN vow, OR RENEWAL OF COVENANT WITH GOD. 
 
 " O my God ! (Let not the Lord be angry with his servant 
 for thus speaking,) I have, thou knowcst, heretofore sought thy 
 truth. I have earnestly entreated thee, that thou wouldest lead 
 me into it ; that 1 might be rooted, established, and built up in 
 it, as it is in Jesus. I have seen the truth of that saying — ' It is 
 a good thing to have the heart established with grace,' and now 
 I would this day solemnly renew my prayer to thee, and also 
 enter afresh into covenant with thee. 
 
 *' O Lord God 1 I find myself in a world where thousands 
 profess thy name ; some are preaching, some writing, some 
 talking ab<;ut religion. All profess to be searching after truth ; 
 to have Christ and the inspired writers on their side. I am 
 afraid lest I should be turned aside from the simplicity of the 
 gospel. I feel my understanding full of darkness, my reason 
 exceedingly imperfect, my will ready to start aside, and my 
 passions strangely volatile. O illumine mine understanding, 
 < teach my reason reason,' my will rectitude, and let every fac- 
 ulty of which I am possessed be kept within the bounds of thy 
 service. 
 
 '' O let not the sleight of wicked men, who lie in wait to de- 
 ceive, nor even the pious character of good men, (who yet 
 may be under great mistakes,) draw me aside. Nor do thou 
 suffer my own fancy to misguide me. Lord, thou hast given 
 me a determination to take up no principle at second-hand ; 
 but to search for every thing at the pure fountain of thy word. 
 Yet, Lord, I am afraid, seeing I am as liable to err as other 
 men, lest 1 should be led aside from truth by mine own imagi- 
 nation. Hast thou not promised, ' The meek thou wilt guide 
 in judgment, and the meek thou wilt teach thy way ?' Lord, 
 thou knowcst, at this time, my heart is not haughty, nor are mine 
 eyes lofty. O ' guide me by thy counsel, and afterwards re- 
 ceive me to glory ' 
 
 " One thing in particular I would pray for ; namely, that 1 
 may not only be kept from erroneous principles, but may so lov 
 
MR. FULLER. 
 
 lit 
 
 the truth as never to keep it back. O Lord, never let me, under 
 the specious pretence of preaching hoimess^ neglect to pio- 
 mulge the truths of thy word ; for this day I see, and have all 
 along found, that holy practice has a necessary dependence on 
 sacred firinci^ile. O Lord, if thou wiitopen mine eyes to behold 
 the wonders of thy word, and give me to feel their transforming 
 tendency, then shall the Lord be my God ; then let my tongue 
 cleave to the roof of my mouth, if I shun to declare, to the 
 best of my knowledge, the whole counsel of God." 
 
 Some account has already been given of the controversy which 
 his first publication respected, and repeated references are made 
 to the manuscript in his first diary : he kept it long by him, 
 and showed it to several friends who agreed with him in senti- 
 ment) as well as to some who retained the opposite opinion. In 
 his second diary there are various references to the same subject, 
 which show how cautiously he proceeded in this busmess. 
 
 « 1784. Aug. 20. — Conversation wkh a friend has occa- 
 sioned much concern of mind. I feel myself a poor, ignorant 
 creature, and have many misgivings of heart, about engaging in 
 defence of what I esteem truth, lest the cause of Christ should be 
 injured through me. Surely if I did not believe that in defence 
 of which I write, to be important truth, 1 would hide my head in 
 ebsctirity all my days. 
 
 "21. — Much pained at heart to-day, while reading in Dr. 
 Owen, for whose character I feel a high veneration. Surely I 
 am more brutish than any man, and have not the understand- 
 ing of a man ! O that 1 might be led into divine truth 1 ^ Christ 
 and his cross be all my theme.' Surely I love his name, and 
 wish to make it the centre in which all the lines of my minis- 
 try should meet ! The Lord direct my way in respect of pub- 
 lishing. Assuredly he knows my end is to vindicate the excel- 
 lence of his character, and his worthiness of being loved and 
 credited. 
 
 « 23. — The weight of publishing still lies upon me, I ex- 
 pect a great share of unhappiness through it. I had certainly 
 much rather go tlirough the world in peace, did I not consider 
 this step as my duty. I feel a jealousy of myself, lest I should 
 not be endued with meekness and patience sufficient for contro- 
 
118 MEMOIRS O^ 
 
 versy. The Lord keep me 1 I wish to suspect my own spirit^ 
 and go forth leaning on him lor strength. I heard yesterday, 
 that Mr. William Clarke is likely to come to Carlton : the 
 Lord grant he may ! O that I were of such a meek and lowly- 
 spirit as that good man ! 
 
 a 25. — Conversation with a friend this day, makes me abhor 
 myself, and tremble about writing in a public way. O how 
 little real meekness and lowliness of heart do 1 possess I 
 
 a 26. — I felt some tenderness to-day at the church-meeting; 
 but much depression of spirit generally now attends me. I feel 
 a solid satisfaction that the cause in which I am about to engage, 
 is the cause of truth and righteousness ; but I am afraid lest it 
 should suffer through me. 
 
 "Oct. 21. — I feel some pain in the thought of being about to 
 publish on the obligations of men to believe in Christy fearing I 
 shall hereby expose myself to a good deal of abuse, which is 
 disagreeable to the flesh. Had I not a satisfaction that it is the 
 cause of &od and Truth, I would drop all thoughts of printing. 
 The Lord keep me meek and lowly in heart. 
 
 " Nov. 1 6. — Employed in finishing my manuscript for the 
 press. Wrote some thoughts on 1 Cor xvi. 22. but have great 
 reason for shame and self reflection. While I write on love 
 to Christ, I feel a world of unlawful self-love and self-seeking 
 working in me. 
 
 « 22. — Walked to Northampton : some prayer that God would 
 bless that about which I am going ; namely, the printing of my 
 manuscript on the duty of sinners to believe in Christ." 
 
 This pamphlet was entitled, 
 
 1. The Gospel Worthy of all Acceptation: or the Obliga- 
 tions of Men fully to credit and cordially to approve whatever 
 God makes known. Wherein is considered, the Nature of 
 Faith in Christ, and the Duty of those where the Gospel comes 
 in that Matter. 
 
 Though several of his brethren very cordially coincided with 
 him, and had earnestly advised the publication, yet many igno- 
 rant people, who really knew nothing before of the controversy, 
 began to raise an outcry against the book and its author, charg- 
 ing him and his friends with having forsaken the doctrines of 
 
MR. FtJLLfetl. 119 
 
 grace, and left the good old way. Good Mr. Brine had admitted 
 the novelty of the opinion Mr. Fuller ofi^iosed^ (which to the 
 best of my knowledge had never been heard of in the church, 
 till about sixty years before,) and had entitled his plea in de- 
 fence of it, Motives to Love and Unity among Cahinists differ- 
 ing in opinion ; but these poor creatures charged us with being 
 turned Arminians. Meanwhile Mr. Birley of St. Ives, soon 
 after Mr. Fuller's work was printed, urged his friend Mr. Dan 
 Taylor, a very respectable minister among the more evangeli- 
 cal General Baptists, to embrace this opportunity of endeavour- 
 ing to promote real Arminianism. 
 
 Mr. Button attempted to defend the negative side of the 
 question, on the plan of Dr. Gill and Mr. Brine. A Dr. Withers, 
 patronized by a rich man in London, deeply tinged with Anti- 
 nomianism, wrote in afar mere extravagant and insolent strain ; 
 I should not say on the same side, for my brother Button and 
 his learned predecessor would have abhorred his extravagant 
 crudities. Mr. Taylor repeatedly attacked him on the opposite 
 quarter. Mr. F. thus refers to these opponents : 
 
 "Aug. 8, 1785. — Some exercise of mind this week, through 
 an advertisement of Dr. Withers,' wherein he threatens, I think 
 in a very vain manner, to reduce my late publication to dust. 
 I wish I may be kept in a right spirit. I find myself, on seeing 
 what I have hitherto seen, exposed to a spirit of contempt, but 
 I wish not to indulge too much of that temper. Doubtless I 
 may be wrong in some things ; I wish I may all along be open 
 to conviction. I have found some desires go up to heaven for 
 such a spirit. 
 
 « 26. — At Northampton I saw a letter from a respectable aged 
 minister,* on my late publication, which has some effect on my 
 heart, in a way of tender grief and fear. 
 
 " Oct. 7. — Some tremor of mind, in hearing that Dr. With- 
 ers's book is in the press. What I fear is, lest his manner 
 of writing should be provoking, and lest I should fall into an 
 unchristian spirit." 
 
 • If I may judge from an excellent address vhich the venerable Joshua 
 Thomas delivered in the Lecture-room in North Street, from 2 Chron 
 XXX. 8 Yield yourselves unto th^ l^ovd — hfe ftiUy cama ovp^ to Mr. Fn«- 
 !er'3 views at last-. 
 
120 iVIEMOIRS OF 
 
 Nov. — On a journey into Bedfordshire, he met with a min- 
 ister who had brtore embraced tne negative side of the Modern 
 Question, and was *' glad to see his spuit softened, and hi\j)rej- 
 udices giving way.'* But at anoih'rr place he mentions being 
 much grieved to find the spirits of the people in that neighbour- 
 hood hurt by controversy. I find there are several whose con- 
 versation turns almost entirely, and on all occasions, on these 
 subjects. It seems to be on^e of Satan's devices, in order to de- 
 stroy the good tendency of any truth, to get its advocates to 
 hackney it out of measure, dwelling upon it, in every sermon or 
 conversation, to the exclusion of other things. Thus, by some, 
 in the last age, the glorious doctrines of free and sovereign grace 
 were served, and were thereby brought into disrepute. If we 
 employ all our time in talking about what men ought to be and 
 do, it is likely we shall forget to fnit it in practice ; and then all 
 is over with us. The Lord deliver us from that temptation 1 
 
 " Dec. 6. — The latter part of this week I received a treatise 
 lately published in answer to mine. There seems to be much 
 in it very foreign to the point, and very little evidence in favour 
 ef the writer's sentiment. 
 
 "Jan. 1786. — Heard on a journey into Bedfordshire, that a 
 piece is coming out against what I have written, on the Arminian 
 side. I have no fears as to the cause itself, but many as to my 
 capacity to defend it. I feel reluctant in being obliged to attend 
 to controversy. My heart seems to delight in my work, and I 
 hope the Lord is in some measure owning it. 
 
 '^ 29. — This week I received Dr. Withers's treatise against 
 what I have printed. What horrid sentiments does he ad- 
 vance ! 
 
 i'* Feb- 5. — My mind has been generally much engaged in 
 perusing various publications against my treatise on the gospel 
 of Christ. This morning I received another, written by Mr. 
 Dan Taylor. It has rather tended to interrupt me in the 
 work of the day, though I determined not to look into it till to- 
 morrow. 
 
 6. *' — Read the above piece. The author discovers an amia- 
 ble spirit, and there is a good deal of plausibility in some things 
 that he advances. My mind has been much employed all the 
 week on this piece. The more I examine it, the more I per- 
 
Mft. FULLER. 121 
 
 ceive it is, though ingeniously wrought together, open to a solid 
 and effective reply." 
 
 Having begun with Mr. Fuller's controversial works, I shall 
 enumerate them before I proceed to those of a practical nature ; 
 and therefore mention that he published in 1787, 
 
 2. A Defence of a Treatise entitled, The Gospel of Christ 
 worthy of all Acceptation : Containing a Reply to Mr. Button's 
 Remarks, and the Observations of Philanthropos. 
 
 Sometime after, another pamphlet appeared, entitled, 
 
 3. The Reality and Efficacy of Divine Grace ; with the 
 Certain Success of Christ's Sufferings in Behalf of all who are 
 finally saved: Containing Remarks upon the Observations of 
 the Rev. Dan Taylor on Mr. Fuller's Reply to Phiianthropos. 
 
 Though this v/as published in the form of letters to Mr. Ful- 
 ler, under the signature of Agnostos^ yet it is now known that it 
 was written almost entirely by Mr. Fuller himself. 
 
 4. Remarks on Mr. Martin's Publication, in Five Letters 
 to a Friend. 
 
 Mr. Fuller has directed this to be left out of the new edition 
 of his Works ; partly because, although it may not contain a 
 greater degree of severity than the personalities of that publica- 
 tion almost necessarily called for, yet he did not take pleasure 
 in reflecting on a controversy of that kind ; and partly because 
 he had no apprehension that the work of his opponent would 
 ever be reprinted.* 
 
 * Mr. Fuller made no reply to Mr. M.'s second and Uiiid parts. The 
 following is a specimen of this writer's mode of argumentation . — 
 
 ** Perhaps Mr. Fuller I'oes not sufficiently recollect, that in human ac- 
 tions, -what seems to be the reverse of doing wrongs is not ahvays doing 
 Tight. 
 
 1. ** Avarice and prodigality, 
 
 2. ** Ambition and abject state of mind, 
 
 3. *' Breaking the law ot God and keeping it perfectly, are supposed, 
 by some, to be in the strocgest state of opposition. But if the avaricious 
 were to become prodigal^ and the mean to become ambitious, this would 
 be only changing one \\ct for another" 
 
 "W-'ell, and if he that has broktn (he law in time past, were to keep 
 it in future, would that be also changing one vice for another ? No. But, 
 *• If the transgressor of the law attempted to keep it perfecUy, he must, 
 16 
 
122 HIEMOIhS OF 
 
 In 1792, Mr. Fuller published a work of the highest import- 
 ance, which obtained the warm approbation of all the friends 
 of evangelical truth. 
 
 5. The Calvinistic and Socinian Systems examined and 
 compared as to their Moral Tendency : in a Series of Letters, 
 addressed to the Friends of Vital and Practical Religion. 
 
 At the commencement of this work in 1791, he observes, "I 
 have lately been employed in reading several Socinian writers, 
 Lindsey, Priestly, Belsham, Sec. and have employed myself in 
 penning down thoughts on the moral tendency of their system. 
 While thus engaged, I found an increasing aversion to their 
 views of things, and I feel the ground on which my hopes are 
 built more solid than ever." 
 
 Some time after it appeared, in July 1794, he thus writes, 
 "the reflection I noticed on June 1, 1792, That we have no 
 more religion than we have in times of trials has again occurred. 
 God has tried me, within the last two or three years, by heavy 
 and sore afflictions in my family, and by threatening complaints 
 in my body. But of late, trials have been of another kind : 
 
 by that attempt, entertain a false idea of the perfection of the law. For iu 
 whatever part IT is broken, it is broken for ever ; and can never be made 
 •whole by him who has offended in one point. ^* 
 
 Hence he infers, that '* l( unbelief, in every view of it, be as criminal as 
 our author has supposed, it does not follow that belief is a duty." 
 
 I. have added the numerals to what ought to have been three pair of par- 
 allels, and have placed them in separate lines, that their agreement or dis- 
 agreement might appear. Had this author contrasted, 
 Avarice and generosity, 
 Ambition and humble contentment, 
 Breaking the law and keep it perfectly; 
 Though he that should become generous ought not to tell a lie, and say he 
 never had been covetous : he that becjime humble and contented ought 
 not to deny that he had once been ambitious ; yet they would but do their 
 duty in keeping clear f'f those vices in future Nor is it more than any 
 man's duty to obey the law of God perfectly henceforward, however his 
 past sins may have deprived him of all liope founded on the covenant of 
 works. If it be, 1 would wish to be informed. Tvhot command may he vio- 
 late in future, without acquiring additional gu-lt? 
 
 It has been alrea«ly noticed, that Mr. F derived some advantage, at aa 
 earlier period, from Mr- M.'s sermon on Submission to the Righteousness 
 of God, where he had Scripture an<i sound reason on his side; but wherein 
 he departed from them, he would not follow him. 
 
MR. FULLER. 123 
 
 having printed Letters on Socinianism, they have procured an 
 unusual tide of respect and applause. Some years ago, I en- 
 dured a portion of reproach, on account of what I had written 
 against False Calvinism ; now I am likely to be tried with the 
 contrary : and, perhaps, good refiort^ though more agreeable, 
 may prove not less trying than evil report. I am apprehen- 
 sive that God sees my heart to be too much elated already, and 
 therefore withholds a blessing from my ordinary ministrations. 
 I conceive things to be very low in the congregation. It has 
 been a thought which has affected me of late — The church at 
 Leicester have lost their pastor, as have also the church at 
 Northampton ; but neither of them have lost their God : 
 whereas, at Kettering^ the man ancj the means are continued • 
 we have the mantle, but where is the Lord God of Elijah ? God 
 has, as it were, caused it to rain upon these places, but not upon 
 us. Though without pastors, yet tVicy have had great increase ; 
 whereas we have had none of late, and many disorders among 
 us. I am afraid I am defective as to knowing the state of my 
 own church, and looking well to their spiritual concerns." Thus 
 rigorously did he watch his own heart, throughout the various 
 vicissitudes of this life. 
 
 Meanwhile the Socinians, who had so frequently indulged 
 themselves in inveighing, with the utmost vehemence, against 
 tht licentious tendency of the Calvinistic system, were much dis- 
 turbed at having the charge turned against themselves. It was 
 now considered as an unfair argument. They wanted to shift 
 the ground, and get to their critical bush- fighting ; hoping to 
 obtain more advantage by controverting separate texts, than by 
 discussing the moral tendency of the whole system. Though 
 even here they wished to make the ground as narrow as pos- 
 sible, by interdicting the use of the Epistles, and confining the 
 dispute to expressions used by the four Evangelists. Or if the 
 appeal to facts respecting the effects of the respective systems 
 could not be wholly declined, (not being able to show that mod- 
 ern Unitarians^ as they call themselves, or those who lay claim 
 to the exclusive appellation oi Rational Christians, have done 
 any thing with success for the conversion of Jews, Heathens, 
 Turks, Infidels, or Profligates,) they beg the point i?i question^ 
 that the Apostles' doctrine was the same as theirs, and thus 
 
124 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 would prove the good moral tendency of their sentimeiUs, by the 
 happy effects produced by the gospel in the tirst two centuries. 
 Mr. Fuller, in reply to these artifices, published in 1797, 
 
 6. Socinianism Indefensible on the Ground of its Moral 
 Tendency ; Containing a Reply to Dr. Toulmin and Mr. 
 Kentish. 
 
 After this Mr. Fuller's attention was turned to the Deistical 
 controversy ; and he published, 
 
 7. The Gospel its own Witness : or, The Holy Nature and 
 Divine Harmony of the Christian Religion, contrasted with the 
 Immorality and absurdity of Deism. 1800. 
 
 This is the work of which Mr. Wilberforce spoke so highly, 
 in a letter I received from him just after Mr. Fuller's death. 
 
 As early as October 24, 1784, Mr. Fuller had remarked in 
 his diary, " I have many fears concerning certain flesh-pleas- 
 ing doctrines, which have been lately agitated, particularly that 
 of the f.nal salvation of all men and devils. I have no doubt 
 but their notion will have a great spread within these twenty 
 years, however contrary to the word of God; seeing it is just 
 what suits the flesh. To-night in expounding Acts iii. I took 
 notice of verse 21, on which they chiefly attempt to found this 
 opinion." 
 
 According as Mr. Fuller and some of his most intimate 
 friends had foreboded, so it came to pass. Mr. Winchester, 
 who had in his early life appeared very laborious and successful 
 in urging sinners to flee from the wrath to come, had fallen into 
 this sentiment in America, and came over to England to prop- 
 agate it. Though the preaching of a purgatory had no such 
 effect on the careless as attended his former labours, yet it drew 
 after him a few unstable professors. Among others, Mr. Vidler, 
 of Battle, in Sussex, (who had become acquainted with the 
 ministers oftlie Northamptonshire Association sometime before, 
 when he came to collect for his meeting-house,) fell into the 
 same snare, and at length into Socinianism. Mr. Fuller first sent 
 him a private, affectionate, and faithful expostulation, in 1793, 
 to which he received no reply, till he afterwards inserted it in 
 the Evangelical Magazine for September 1795, concealing the 
 name of the person to whom it was addressed, and using him- 
 
MR. FULLEH. 125 
 
 self the signature of Gaius. This led in the issue to a large? 
 publication — 
 
 8. Letters to Mr. Vidler, on the Doctrine of Universal Sal- 
 vation. 1802.* 
 
 Another publication must be reckoned in a great degree po- 
 lemical, consisting chiefly of what had been published in de- 
 tached parts, in the Evangelical Magazine, but vj^hich was col- 
 lected into one volume in 1806, and entitled, 
 
 9. Dialogues, Letters, and Essays, on Various Subjects. 
 Some years afterwards he printed, 
 
 10. Strictures on Sandemanianism, in Twelve Letters to a 
 Friend. 1810. 
 
 On this subject, without entering farther into the controversy, 
 I would beg leave to insert two or three remarks, which have 
 struck my own mind, as worthy of attention. 
 
 1. That many good men have had their minds tinged with 
 Mr. Sandeman's sentiments, who by no means embrace ail his 
 peculiarities, and who greatly disapprove of his bitter, censori- 
 ous spirit ; this applies especially to many of the Scotch Bap- 
 tists. 
 
 2. As to those who enter /ar into the system, it has appeared 
 to me, that while they maintain that faith is the simplest thing 
 in the world, they go on disputing about it, till they almost make 
 the definition of faith the very object of faith. Let a man be- 
 lieve what he will of Christ, and the fitness, beauty, and glory 
 of the way of salvation by his obedience unto death, they will 
 scarcely allow him to be a Christian, unless he believes that 
 faith is a bare belief of the truth. 
 
 3. Whereas they scruple to admit that faith includes a cor- 
 dial a^ifirobation of the truth, and say that this is confounding 
 faith and love, which the apostle distinguishes in 1 Cor. xiii. 
 13. I would reply, he no more distinguishes /az/A and love, 
 than he distinguishes ho^ie and love. Now I conceive that no 
 
 • Mr. Jerram, an evangelical Clergyman, a friend of Mr Fuller's, 
 published a very able p.iid interesting pamphlet o»i the same subject, en- 
 titled Letters to an Universalist ,• contairdng a Revieio of the Contro- 
 versy between Mr. Vidler and Mr. Fiiiler^ on the Doctrine of Universat 
 Salvation. 
 
126 MEMOIRS OIT 
 
 man can give a complete definition of hope, that shall not include 
 any thing of the nature of love ; for bare expectation of what I 
 dislike or disregard, is not hope. If then one of thes« graces is 
 inseparable from the other, why should not this be the case with 
 the third also ? As love cannot be separated from the essence 
 of hope, so neither can it be from the essence of vital faith. 
 These three principal graces seem to me to shade off into each 
 other, like the three principal colours of the rainbow : the red 
 is not blue, the blue is not yellow, Sec. but if you could touch it 
 with the point of a needle, you could not say, here the red ends, 
 and there the blue begins, nor here the blue ends, and there 
 begins the yellow. Mere natural truth may be believed inde* 
 pendently of the state of the heart. Thus I believe the sun is 
 the centre of our system, though I should be as willing for the 
 earth to be the centre, if ail went on as well as it does now. 
 One man might believe some months ago that Buonaparte was 
 returned to Paris, though he had much rather he had been at 
 Elba, or at the bottom of the sea ; another may now believe he 
 is at St. Helena, who had rather he was at Paris. But Haman 
 could not believe that Mordecai deserved the respect he was 
 obliged to pay him ; while he retained his old disposition to- 
 wards him. Much less can a sinner, whose heart is enmity 
 against the divine Law, think that it deserved to be honoured, by 
 the Son of God becoming incarnate, assuming the form of a ser- 
 vant, and being obedient unto death ; and that it was wise, and 
 right, and good, for God to determine that no sin should be 
 pardoned, unless the divine disapprobation of it could be mani- 
 fested as decisively as if the sinner had suffered in his own per- 
 son the full penalty of tlie law, and unless his pardon could 
 be made evidently to appear an act of sovereign grace. Nor 
 tan a man, while under the dominion of sin, believe that it is a 
 most blessed privilege to be saved from sin itself, as well as 
 from its consequences. Hence I still conceive, that regenera- 
 tion, strictly so called,* must in the order of nature, precede the 
 
 • Mr. Charnock thus distinguishes between regeneration and active con- 
 version. Regeneration is a spiritual change : conversion is a spiritual mo- 
 tion. In regeneration there is a power conferred : conversion is the ex- 
 ercise of this power. In regeneration there is given us a principle to turn : 
 roaversion is our actual turning. That is the principle whereby we art 
 
MR. FULLSR. |2f 
 
 rirst act of faith. Not that it can be knonvn, except by its ef- 
 fects ; nor that a consciousness thereof is necessary to ivarrant 
 the sinner's first application to Christ. But I have fully stated 
 my ideas on that subject in my sermon at the Lyme Associa- 
 tion, and therefore enter no farther into it here. I only add — 
 
 4. Whereas the thorough Sandemanians conceive that there 
 is no difference between the fuith of devils, and that of the heirs 
 of salvation, but only such as results from the different circum- 
 stances of men and devils, Christ having died for the former, and 
 not for the latter ; I cannot by any means coincide with this 
 opinion. And if any good men incline to this persuasion, I 
 wish them to consider if such a sentiment does not strongly im- 
 ply, not only that the influence of the Holy Spirit is unneces- 
 sary, but also that the opposition of the carnal mind to God, is 
 not fully credited, or at least not duly estimated. Does it not go 
 on the supposition, that all the enmity of mankind to God, is 
 occasioned solely by their viewing him as a revenging Judge ? 
 But is this the scriptural representation of the fact ? or is it agree- 
 able to daily experience ? Are not millions in love with sin, and 
 unwilling to seek after God, who never had any deep convictJoa 
 that God is highly displeased with them ? Alas, how few arc 
 there that thoroughly believe God is angry with the wicked 
 every day ! and how much fewer that believe he has just cause 
 10 be so ! Do not let us look on them that are enemies to God 
 as poor, pitiable, half-innocent creatures, who would be glad to 
 be reconciled to him on any terms, if they could but hope that 
 he would ever admit them again to his friendship. Verily, I 
 eannot believe this to be the case, nor any thing like it. 
 
 I have made these remarks, because I believe my mind is 
 herein in unison with my dear departed friend ; and because I 
 think they agree with the truth. 
 
 Many who lean towards Antinomianism, do not half believe 
 human depravity : they do not think the will of man is perverse 
 enough to insure his destruction, if all other impediments were 
 removed. I do, and so did Mr. Fuller. If there had been no elec- 
 
 brought out of a state of nature into a state of |*race : and conversion is 
 the actual fixing on God, as the terminus ad quern. One gives posse 
 agere ; the other, actu agere. Conversion is related to regeneration as 
 the effect to the cause. In regeneration man is wholly passive : in conver<- 
 slon he is active. Works, Vol- I J. 43 
 
l''2^ iVlEMOlRS OF 
 
 tion, no special design in redemption, if God had done all that 
 could be done externally to save men, but had abstained from 
 exerting any effectual internal influence on the human mind? 
 to draw souls to Christ, I do not think one would have come to 
 him ; all would have rejected the counsel of God against them- 
 selves, and have continued impenitent and unbelieving. And 
 thus also I conceive, that if God were to assure an unrenewed 
 mail of his election, his redemption, and certain glorification, 
 without changing the spirit of his mind, though if he had been 
 previously much alarmed, he might be glad to get rid of his 
 terror, and feel for a little while such a natural gratitude as the 
 Israelites did at the Red Sea, yet he would soon forget all^ 
 and go on seeking his present happiness in the world, and in 
 the indulgence of his sinful inclinations. 
 
 I referred not to the Sandemanian controversy in the former 
 part of the last paragraph, but to those who were most opposed 
 to Mr. Fuller's former publication ; and the latter part, I only 
 wish to be noticed by such as have imagined there is no differ- 
 ence between the faith of good men, and the faith of devils, 
 except what arises from their circumstances.* 
 
 * I have lately thought the supposition might not be wholly useless, if 
 we were to inquire what would have been the effect of information given 
 to the inhabitants of this world, that one of the other planets (whichever 
 you please,) had been inhabited by a race of beings like ourselves, and 
 the work of redemption had there taken place, just as it has been effected 
 here. If the news had been made known to us, what would our race have 
 said to it ? Methinks some would utterly disregard it ; some would dis- 
 pute against it, and refuse to believe it ; some would think the inhabit- 
 ants of that globe could never submit to it; some perhaps would wonder 
 that any of them should reject it ; some would blaspheme the Most High 
 for his partiality, in providing for their salvation in so wonderful a manner* 
 and not doing the same for us. But if it had been supposable that any of 
 our fallen race should have retained something of a right spirit, or if God 
 should have secretly restored them to it, surely these would have been 
 ready to exclaim, * O how wonderful ! O how glorious ! What a good 
 God have we sinned against ! How vile are we ! Well, he had a right to 
 provide for the salvation of the inhabitants of that world and not of this.' 
 But, O that it were possible for the' merits of the Messiah to be extended 
 likewise to us ! Why should not so dignified and divine a Saviour have suf- 
 ficient virtue in his atonement to save us also ? We find many of the inhab- 
 itants of that witrld reject him O that we might share in the bless- 
 ings which they despise !' 
 
MR. FULLER. 129 
 
 These are all Mr. Fuller's works that relate to controversial 
 theology, unless we should reckon among them his defence of 
 the efforts made by our own and other Missionary Societies, 
 against the publications of Mr. Twining, Major Scott, Waring, 
 and a Bengal Officer ; which was published in three parts, un- 
 der the title of — 
 
 1 1. An Apology for the late Christian Missions to India. 8vo. 
 pp. 350.* 
 
 I have not attempted any regular review or analysis pf these 
 polemical works, nor shall I do so as to those of a more practi- 
 cal nature ; I am willing to bear a full share of whatever re- 
 proach may be thrown upon me from any quarter, for highly es- 
 teeming them ; but my time would admit of nothing more than 
 the few cursory remarks I have interspersed. They are ail 
 pretty well known to the religious public, among whom he had 
 his share of good report, as well as of censure and op- 
 position. I shall leave his works to defend themselves against 
 the nibbling of minor critics, which I think they are as able to 
 do as the best tempered file. 
 
 I shall mention his larger practical works first, and therefore 
 notice — 
 
 12. Memoirs of the Rev. Samuel Pearce, A.M. of Bir- . 
 mingham, with Extracts from some of his most Interesting Let- 
 ters. 1800. 
 
 This is certainly a most valuable and interesting piece of bi- 
 ography. Much as that seraphic young man was esteemed by 
 many, I know not that any one thought more highly of him 
 than myself. I was used to think that Benjamin Francis, as an 
 aged man, and Samuel Pearce, as a young man, were the two 
 most popular preachers I had personally known, who, without 
 rising to sublime eloquence, owed no part of their popularity 
 to eccentricity. A peculiar Jiuency of delivery^ and a most 
 serious and affectionate address^ would have made them ac- 
 ceptable to all classes of hearers, in any part of the kingdom. 
 
 • No. 29, i$ also controverBJal. 
 17 
 
130 MEMOIRS OP 
 
 But I by no means consider Mr. Pearce's bioijrapher as being 
 himself deficient in tender love to the souls of men, or devoid 
 of an evident unction from the Holy One. His delivery had 
 not the sprii^htly vivacity of Mr. Pearce ; but a solemn tender- 
 ness and pathos often attended his discourses : though it appear- 
 ed to me, that there was more of the fiathetic in earlier life, 
 (when he had a large measure of affliction, as well as after- 
 wards,) than in the latter part of liis ministry. To be sure, of 
 late years I did not hear him so frequently as formerly ; but I 
 remember Mr. Sutcliff, who continued to be his near neighboun 
 once expressed the same opinion. But to return to his works, 
 I m;iy mention. 
 
 13. Expository Discourses on the Book of Genesis, inter- 
 spersed with Practical Reflections. 2 Vols. 8vo. Published in 
 18G6. 
 
 14. Expositorv Discourses on the Apocalypse, interspersed 
 with Practical Reflections. 
 
 This I mention next, on account of its similarnature, though 
 not prepared for the press till just before his decease. 
 
 15. Sermons on Various Subjects. 1814, 
 
 1 6. The Backslider : or an Inquiry into the Nature, Symp- 
 toms, and Eff'ects of Religious Declension, with the means of 
 Recovery. 1801. 
 
 An invaluable piece of practical divinity. 
 
 Besides these, he printed a number of single sermons on va- 
 rious occasions ; namely, 
 
 17. The Nature and Importance of Walking by Faith. A 
 Sermon before the Baptist Association at Nottingham June 2, 
 1784. 
 
 18. The Qualifications and Encouragement of a Faithful 
 Minister. An Oidination Sermon at Thorne, in Bedfordshire, 
 Oct. 31, 1787. 
 
 19. The Pernicious Consequences of Delay in Religious 
 Concerns, A Sermon at Clipstone April 1791. 
 
 20. The Blessedness of the Dead who Die in the Lord. A 
 Sermon occasioned by the Death of Mr. Beeby Wallis. 1792. 
 
 21. The Importance of a Deep and Intimate Knowledge 
 of Divine Truth. A Sermon belore the Baptist Association at 
 St. Albans June 1, 1796. 
 
MR. FULLEH. 131 
 
 22. The Christian Doctrine of Rewards. A Sermon deliv- 
 ered at the Circus, Edinburgh Oct. 13, 1799. 
 
 23. God's Approbation of our Labours necessary to the Hope 
 of Success. A Strmon at the Annual Meeting of the Bedford 
 Union May 6, 1801. 
 
 24. The Obedience of Churches to their Pastors. A Sermon 
 at the Ordination of the Rev. Thomas Morgan, at Cannon Street, 
 Birmingham. 1802. 
 
 25. Christian Patriolism : or the Duty of Religious People 
 towards their Country. A Discourse delivered at Kettering 
 Aug. 14, 1803. 
 
 26. Jesus the true Messiah. A Sermon at the Jews' Chapel, 
 Spital Fields, Nov. 19, 1809. 
 
 27. The Principles and Prospects of a Servant of Christ. A 
 .Sermon delivered at the funeral of the Rev. John Sutcliff, A.M. 
 
 June 28, 1814. With a Brief Memoir of the D'*ceased. 
 
 28. The Great Question Answered^. 
 
 A very important tract, which has been translated into sev- 
 eral languages. 
 
 29. A Vindication of Protestant Dissent from the Charges 
 ef the Rev. Tiiomas Robinson. 
 
 A small polemical tract. 
 
 30. Expository Remarks on the Discipline of the Primitive 
 Churches. Originally an Association Letter. 
 
 31. The Pastors Address to his Christian Hearers. Orig- 
 inally an Association Letter. 
 
 To these may be added. 
 
 A Funeral Oration for the Rev. Robert Hall, sen. of Arnesby ; 
 with some verses to his memory. Printed with the Funeral 
 Sermon, &c. by John Ryland, jun. 1791. 
 
 A New Year's Gift for Youth. The Sketch of a Sermon on 
 Psa. xc. 14. printed without Mr. F.'s previous permission, by a 
 friend at Edinburgh. 1800. 
 
 An Essay on Truth. Prefixed to a new and improved Edi- 
 tion of Hannah Adams's View of Religions. 
 
 A Recommendation of Dr. Joseph Bellamy's invaluable 
 Work, entitled. True Religion Delineated. ' 
 
 A Recommendation of Two Sermons by Dr. Tim. Dwight, 
 entitled The Nature and Danger of Infidel Philosophy. 
 
132 MICMOIRS OF 
 
 A Recommendatory Preface to Thornton Abbey. 
 
 And a great number of valuable papers in several periodicai 
 piibiications : namely, 
 
 DE coetlogon's theological miscellany. 
 
 1785. Thoughts on 1 (or. xvi. 22. p. 141. 
 
 1786. Pacificiis lo Agnostos, to close a Controversy between J. R.j. and 
 A.b. Esq 576 
 
 1787. On Declensions in Religion, 346, 424, 487. The Means of Revival, 
 519, 593. On the supposed Final Hestitution, 468. 
 
 1788. A Similitude on the ( hurch of Laodicea, 58 John v. 40. and vi. 
 44, 45, and 65, reconciled, 237. Paraphrase on Eccles. vii. 15 — 19. 
 p. 432. On John v. 17 — 19. p. 488. 
 
 EVANGELICAL MAGAZINE. 
 
 1793. Dialogues between Crispus and Gaius, pp. 67, 108, 150, 190, 235. 
 
 1794. Dialogues continued, 19,50,96, 147. Letters from Crispus, 462. 
 Anecdote of the late Mr. Robinson, 72. Interview of Messrs Fuller 
 and Sulclift with Mr Berridge, 73. On the Nature of Regeneration, 
 226. On the Parable of the Unjust Steward, 323. The Dignity of 
 Nature in the Article of Death, 375. 
 
 1795. Degrees in Glory consistent with Salvation by Grace, 15. Letter 
 IL from Gaius to Crispus, 53. Letter ill. 137. Instances in which 
 we act against inclination, 151. Causes of the difference in Frame 
 between Private and Public Prayer, 152. Letter IV. Crispus lo Gaius, 
 184. Letter V. Gaius to Crispus, 223. Was the Fall of Adam prede- 
 termined, or only foreseen ? 240 What is the true Meaning of those 
 Parts of the New Testament which declare the Gospel to have a pow- 
 erful Operation in the Souls of Men ? (Rom. i. 16 1 Cor. i. 18, 24. 1 
 Thes ii 13.)— And is the Power ot^the Gospel in any sense to be 
 distinguished from the Power and Influence of the Holy Spirit? Or 
 are they always connected I Or do both include one and the same 
 Operation ? 282. On the Eternity of Futui e Punishment, 357. How 
 may a man ascertain his Flection of God to the Ministry of the Gos- 
 pel ? — And what are sufficient Qualifications for that important of- 
 fice ? 486. In what sense is Fsith reckoned by our Saviour among 
 the Weightier Matters of the Law ? 487. 
 
 1796. Answer to Two Queries* — (1.) Did not the law of God require of 
 Christ, considered as a man, a perfect obedience on his own account ? 
 If it did, how can that obedience be imputed to sinners for their jus- 
 tification ? (2.) How does it appear to be necessary that Christ 
 should both obey the law in his people's stead, and yet suffer pun- 
 ishment on account of their transgressions, seeingobedienceis all the 
 liiw reqaires ? 67. On the Cnpardonable Sin, 141. Answer to a 
 Query on Regeneration, 337. 1 he Duty of Christian Forgiveness, 
 359. 
 
 1797. On the Immaculate life of Christ, 51, 99. On the Lying Spirit, 1 
 Kings xxii. 21—28. p. 504. 
 
 1798. How does God speak Peace to his People ? 113. On the Applica- 
 tion of Absolute Promises, and those made to others, 143. An Ac- 
 count of his own FiXperience, 276, 319. 
 
 1799. Importance of a Lively Faith, particularly respecting Missionary 
 Uadertakings, G7. On the Extraordinary Appearance to Elijah ai 
 
MR. FULLEB. 133 
 
 fioreb, 315. Sermon to the Aged, 543. [I apprehend the Review 
 of Mr. Scott's Warrant^ and ISature of Faith, (p. 199.) was writ- 
 ten by him.] 
 
 1800. The Review of Mr. Booth's Glad Tidings 458, 550. 
 
 1801. How couhl Jesws grow in wisdom &o ? 192. What are the best pre- 
 servatives from backsliding ? 273. Is it right to exhort a wicked man 
 to pray ? 353. 
 
 1802. Life and Death set before thee ; or the Broad and Narrow Way 
 93. Christ washing the Disciples' Feet 219. 
 
 1803. Evangelical Truth the great object of Angelical Research 21- Hope 
 in the last Extremity 138 Anecdote of a kemarkitble Conversion 
 [iSr.*] Advantages of Visiting Societies 339. Another Account of 
 Conversion 445. 
 
 1804. Political Self-righteousness 124. The dangerous Tendency of Uni- 
 versalism 250. The Moral Law a Rule of conduct to Believers 533. 
 
 1805. T he Mystery of Providence 10. On the Danger of departing from 
 the obvious meaning of Scripture 593. 
 
 1806. Account of the Death of one of his Members 272. The Wisdom 
 proper to Man 393 On the Abuse of Allegory in Preaching 489. 
 
 1807. Letter fronri Bermuda, by a Member of the Baptist Church at Ket- 
 tering 87. Account of a Remarkable Conversion, with Reflections on 
 the same 4l2« 
 
 1808. On Covetousness, Luke xii. 13—21 p 65. 
 
 MISSIONARY MAGAZINE. 
 
 1796. Letter to Mr W Muir, of Glasgow, on the Talents &c. of a Mis- 
 sionary p 158. Conversation in a Stage Coach 262. 
 
 1797. Strictures on Booth's Warrant 349. 
 
 1798. The Zeal of Jehovah pledged for the Fulfilment of Prophecy 433. 
 
 1799. Sketch of a Discourse delivered by him at the Circus Edinburgh 
 546. 
 
 1800. Thoughts on some Predictions respecting the Latter Days 58. 
 
 1801. The Mystery of Providence 106. Short notes on I Cor. xii. 24 
 p 182. 
 
 1802. An attempt to illustrate Daniel x. 13 p 45. 
 
 1803. The Great Question Answered was first published here pp 59, 110. 
 Singular Instance of conversion 310. Thoughts on Rom. viii. 18 — 23 
 p 433. 
 
 1804. Some papers were reprinted Avhich had appeared in the FiVangelical 
 Magazine. 
 
 1805. On the Conversion of the Jews, on Ezek. xxxvii. p 11. On the 
 same subject from Hos. i. ii. iii. p 49. Ditto, No. IJL 97. Sequel from 
 the Evangelical Magazine 141. No. IV. 185. No. V. 229. 
 
 1806. Inquiry whether tlie Scriptures contain a system of Divine Truth. 
 On the Beatitudes, Matt, v p 314. No. II. Ditto 361. .No. HI. Ditto 
 406. No. IV. Ditto, and on the Perfection and Spirituality of the Law 
 445. No. V. on Oaths Matt, v 33—37 p 491 . Reply to C. S: (in page 
 378,) farther illustrating Matt. v. 4 p 500. 
 
Iii4 .NiEMOIRa OF 
 
 1S07. Sermon on the Mount, No. VI. on resisting Evil 6. A)ist<ei to 
 three Queries '■il. Sermon on tlje Mount, No. VII. — Love to b'ncmies 
 52 Account of Conversion in Bermuila 81. Sermoii on the Mount, 
 No. VJH — Almsgiving and Prayer 94 Ditto No. IX. on the Lord's 
 Prayer 141. Ditto No X 193. No. Xf. on Pasting, bic. 226 On Re- 
 ligious Systems 322 Sermon on the Mount, No. XII. — Judging others, 
 and casting Pearls before Swine 364 Account of Conversion (tvan. 
 Mag) 381. Sermon on the Mount, No. XllI On Prayer and Equity 
 404. Ditto No. XIV. Broad and Narrow Way, 446. 
 
 1809. Brief View of Matt. xi. 12, 13 p 66. Observations on John ill. 22 
 — 36, p 142, Past Trials a Plea for Future Mercies 301. 
 
 1813. On the Trial of Spirits p, 370 
 
 Q^UARTERLV MAGAZINE. 
 
 Vol L A View of Jer. xxxiii. 16. 
 
 Vol. II. Critical and Practical Remarks on the Burden of Dumah &e. 
 Isa. xxi. 11, 12. 
 
 PROTESTANT DlSSENTERS' MAGAXIXE. 
 
 1795. On Building and Collectingfor meeting-houses p 116. 
 
 1798. Reflections on certain Passages in Mr. Bel.^ham's Review of Mr. 
 Wilberforce's Treatise 227. The Doctrine of Justification by Imputed 
 Righteousness, in 1 houghts on Jei. xxxiii. I6 p 367. 
 
 1799. Defence of Imputed Righteousness, against Christopher 20. On 
 (iod's justifying the Ungodly, in answer to J. J. 141. 
 
 BIBLICAL MAGAZINE. 
 
 1801. Account of Mrs. A. or the Pastoral \ isit p 17. Present State of 
 booinianism 47. On Moral Inabdity 112 Sermon at Oakham Associa- 
 tion 215. Letter to Mrs Mead 369. Letter to Mr 1 homas Rutt, on 
 the Death of his sister, Mrs. ti. Aiead 373 [tour papers, by Alpha, 
 uncertain. 3 ^d ^^^ feonship of Christ 283. Uu 2 Cor. xii. 16 p 346. 
 
 1802. The Changes of Time : a New-year's Meditation on I Chron. 
 xxix. 29, 30 p 21. Answer to a JLetter in the Liverpool Magazine 33. 
 Queries on the Infinite bvdof Sin 56. Remarks on isa. Ixiii. 1 — 6 p 57. 
 Answer to a Query — Whether the love of sin be not eradicated from 
 those who are regenerated ? '1 hough it lives in them, is it not their sor- 
 row ? 75. Sketches of two Sermons, at opening the Baptist meeting at 
 Boston, by Mr Fuller and Dr. Hyland 81. Ihe Life of Faith Lxcm- 
 plified* by an anecdote and two passages versified in the Life of Miss An- 
 thony, entitled * Devotedness to Lod in Lasy circun.stances.' Ditto 
 * under Dark and Threatening Providences'-— both in blank verse p 117. 
 Answer to Objections agamst Foreign Missions 166. Remarks on Pros- 
 titution 185. hefleotions on Prov. xiv, 8 p 219. Concluding remarks 
 on Faith, signed Alpha — [occasioned by his paper 35 ; a communication 
 by an t>Ul Disciple (-Mr Newton of Norwich) 145 ; Observations by J. 
 B. Foxton 223 ; Reply by an Old Disciple 333 ; itemarks on former pa- 
 pers, by a Constant Keader (C S.) 336.] p 417. 
 
 1803. Commendation a Vanity 60. Substance of a Sermon 94. On Read* 
 ing the Scriptures 117. Answer to Queries on Faith 149. On the 
 Scripture Doctrine of tilection 258. On Social lieligion 263 Queries 
 ou Solomon's Song 4lt>. On the proper and improper Use of Terms 
 388. Appendix to Ditto 419. Reply in Defence 455. 
 
 1804. On the Use of Terms, a farther defence 93. Morality not founded 
 on Utility 106. On the Satisfaction of Christ 382. 1 he'jSecessity of 
 
MR. FULLER. \S5 
 
 Seeking those things first which are of the first Importance 425. Queries 
 relative to Ordination 431. 
 
 180.1. On Ordination 25 On Christian Love '28. The Progress of Sia 
 55. The Characler of Noah 62 The Progress of Righteousness 84. 
 On Evil things that pass under Specious Names 121. Scriptural Treat- 
 ment of Rich and Poor Christians 207. On Party Spirit 38'i. 
 
 1806 A brief Statement of the Principles of Dissent 8. Reply to Ar- 
 guments for Infant Communion, by an Old Disciple 202. 
 
 Theological Miscellany -.-»I2 
 
 Evangelical Magazine .--.^--. 63 
 
 Missionary Magazine --------42 
 
 Quarterly Magazine -..-_--> 2 
 
 Protestant Dissenters' Magazine -.--,- 5 
 
 Biblical, and the Theological and Biblical Magazine - - - 43 
 
 167 
 
 In addition to the above, Mr. Fuller wrote several papers in 
 the Baptist Magazine, and other works : a list of which cannot 
 be obtained for insertion in this place without delaying the pub- 
 lication 
 
 He had also begun several important works, which though 
 not finished, are far too excellent to be consigned to oblivion ; 
 and which I had planned connecting with this Memoir, after 
 the manner of Cecil's Life and Remains. But, on farther con- 
 sideration, it was thought better to defer them, to be probably 
 inserted in the last volume of his Works, which the family are 
 preparing to publish, in a uniform edition. 
 
 He lately began, at my request, a System of Divinuy, to be 
 eontinued in monthly letters ; but his sickness and death pre- 
 vented my receiving more than nine. He had also commenced 
 long ago a very important work against Antinomianum ;* and 
 another treatise on S/nritual Pride. He left an unfinished 
 manuscript on the Composition of a Sermon. And Letters 
 between Archififius and Epaphras^ illustrating the scriptural 
 mode of treating an awakened sinner ; and two or three excel- 
 lent Sermons have been taken down or written out pretty largely. 
 Most of these may yet be presented to the public. 
 
 * A small edition of this manuscript has been recently printed, at the 
 urgent request of some judicious friends of different denominations, who 
 eonsidered it too important to be suppressed, and peculiaily suited to the 
 present times. 
 
CHAP. VII. 
 
 >iR. fulli:r's unwkaried exertions in behalf of 
 
 THE BAPTIST ]MIS<»IONARr SOCIETY THE RISE OP 
 
 THAT SOCIETY — SENDING OCT OF MESSRS. THOMAS AND 
 CARRY SPECIMENS OF MR. FULLER's CORRESPOND- 
 ENCE WITH THE MISSIONARIES HIS JOURNIES INTO 
 
 SCOTLAND ; CONNECTED WITH OBSERVATIONS ON THE 
 STATE OF REf.IGION THERE AND THE SANDEMANIAN 
 CONTROVERSY ; CONVERSATION WITH A JEW AND 
 OTHER TRAVELLERS, &C. 
 
 WITH res^ard to Mr. Fuller^s active concern for the welfare 
 of the Baptist Mission, from his appointment as Secretary 
 at its first formation, till his death, it is impossible to do fulj 
 justice to his indefatigfable zeal, his assiduous attention to what- 
 ever could promote its welfare, and the uncommon prudence 
 with which he conducted all measures that related to it at home, 
 and Q-ave counsel to those that most needed it abroad. The ex- 
 cellent Pearce, while he was living, selected the Periodical Ac- 
 counts^ inspected the printint^, aided much in the collections ; 
 but this advantac:e was not long enjoyed. His brother Sut- 
 cliff was almost all t'.e time near at hand, and Mr. Fuller was 
 greatly assisted by his prudence and judi^ment, on every emer- 
 gency ; and he repeatedly accompanied him in his journies to 
 the northern parts of the island. But Mr. Fuller's own coun- 
 sels and labours in a great variety of ways were, under God, of 
 the most essential service from first to last. As to the imme- 
 diate origin of a Baptist Mission, I believe God himself in- 
 fused into the mind of Carey that solicitude for the sal- 
 vation of the heathen, which cannot fairly be traced to 
 any other source. When he went to Birmingham to col- 
 lect for the meeting-house he had built at Moulton, he had men- 
 tioned the proposal there. A friend urged him to write and 
 print upon it, and offered to give ten pounds towards paying 
 the printer. On his return he met BrotherFuller and Brother 
 Sutcliff in my study at Northampton, and then pressed one of 
 us to publish on the subject. We approved much of what he 
 urged, yet made some objections, on the ground of so much 
 needing to be done at home, Stc. However, when he could not 
 prevail on cither of us to promise to undertake the work, he 
 
MR. FULLER. 137 
 
 said he must tell the whole truth ; that in the warmth of conver- 
 sation at Birmingham, he had said that he was resolved to do all 
 in his power to set on foot a Baptist Mission. *' Well, (said his 
 friend,) print upon the subject, I will help bear the expense/ 
 That he replied he could not do. " If you cannot do it as you 
 wisli, yet do it as well as you caii ; (-said his friend,) you have 
 just now bound yourself to do all you can for this purpose, and I 
 must keep you to your word.'* Being thus caught through his 
 own zeal, he could get off no other way, than by promising that he 
 would write, if he could not prevail on any one more competent 
 to undertake it. We then all united in saying, " Do by all 
 means write your thoughts down as soon as you can ; but be 
 not in a hurry to print them ; let us look over them, and see if 
 any thing need be omitted, altered, or added.' Thus encour- 
 aged, he soon applied himself to the work, and showed us the 
 substance of the pamphlet afterwards printed, which we found 
 needed very little correction. So much had this young man 
 attained of the knowledge of geography and history, and several 
 languages, in the midst of the pressures of poverty, and while 
 obliged to support himself and his family at first as a journey- 
 man shoemaker, and afterwards as a village schoolmaster; 
 since his people could raise him but ten or eleven pounds a 
 year, besides five pounds from the London fund.* 
 
 * I never formally examined the proficiency he had then made in learn^ 
 ing Latin, Greek, Hebrew, French, Dutch, Italian, &c but one anecdote 
 will illustrate what, indeed, his subsequent attainments render unnecessary 
 to be proved 1 one day had occasion thus to address him : " Well, Mr. Ca- 
 rey, you remember 1 laughed at you when I heard of your learning Dutch, 
 for I thought you would never have any use for that language : but now I 
 have the first opportunity of profiting by it. 1 have received a parcel from 
 Dr. Erskine of Edinburgh, who hns long been used to send me any inter- 
 esting publications which he receives from America, or which have been 
 printed in Scotland ; and this parcel contains Si veral of those sorts : but 
 he says I shall wonder that he has inclosed a Dutch book This, he in- 
 forms me, is a volume of Sermons written by a Divine now living in Holland ; 
 at the end of which is a Dissertation on the (all of the Gospel, which, if 
 any friend of mine or Mr. Fuller's understands the la^'guage sufficiently to 
 translate it for us, we should be glad to see. •• Now (said I to Mr. Carev,) 
 if you will translate this Dissertation for me, I will give you the whole 
 book." He soon brought me a good Dissertation on the subject, and after- 
 "wards an extraordinary Sermon on Hosea, Chap. iii. which I doubt not 
 18 
 
13(i MExMOIRS OF 
 
 Between Carey and Fuller there never was a moment's ri- 
 valship, and I have no bias on my mind to take a grain of praise 
 from one to give to the other : but wishing to regard both with 
 impartial esteem, and truth beyond both ; I must consider the 
 Mission as originating absolutely with Carey ; and Mr. Fuller's 
 acknowledgment that he had at first some feelings like the de- 
 sponding nobleman, in 2 Kings vii. 2. is a confirmation of my 
 opinion. This, however, is of small consequence. Sometime 
 after the conversation in my study, occurred the minister's 
 meeting at Clipstone, in April, 1791. An uncommon degree of 
 attention seemed to me to be excited by both sermons : I know 
 not under which I felt the most, whether Brother Sutcliff's, on 
 being very jealous for the Lord God of Hosts, or Brother Ful- 
 ler's, on the pernicious influence of delay. Both were very 
 mipressive ; and the mind of every one with whom I conversed, 
 seemed to feel a solemn conviction of our need of greater zeal, 
 and of the evil of negligence and procrastination. I suppose 
 that scarcely an idle word was spoken while I stayed, and im- 
 mediately after dinner, Carey introduced the subject of begin- 
 ning a Mission. I had to preach at home that night, fourteen 
 miles off, and was obliged to leave the company before the 
 conversation ended. At the ensuing Association, held at Oak- 
 ham, it was announced that these sermons would be immediate- 
 ly sent to the press. The next Association was at Nottingham, 
 May 30, 1792, when Brother Carey delivered a most impres- 
 sive discourse, from Isai. liv. 2, 3 chiefly endeavouring to en- 
 force our obligations to expect great things from God^ and to 
 attemfit great things for God. If all the people had lifted up 
 their voice and wept, as the children of Israel did at Bochim, 
 (Judges ii.) I should not have wondered at the effect, it would 
 have only seemed proportionate to the cause ; so clearly did he 
 prove the criminality of our supineness in the cause of God. 
 
 were translated from this book. I once also, in an accidental way, made a 
 trial of his skill in French ; and hence, at that early period, I inferred, 
 that, as his motives to learn Latin, Greek, and Heberew must have beea 
 stronger than those that excited him to acquire French and Dutch, his 
 proficiency in them could not be less His present eminence in Oriental 
 literature every out acknowledges— But it is pleasant to trace the rise of 
 the oak from ah acora. 
 
MR. FDLLEK. J 39 
 
 A resolution was printed in this year's Letter, ' That a plan be 
 prepared against the next minister's meeting at Kettering, for 
 lovm'm^ 2i Ba/itist Society for ^iropagating the Gosfiel among 
 the Heathens.'' Brother Carey generously engaged to devote 
 all the profits that might arise from his late publication on this 
 interesting subject, to the use of such a Society. 
 
 This Society was actually formed in Mrs. Beeby Wallis*s 
 back parlour, on October 2, 1792. As all the friends of the 
 Baptist Mission know, we began with a subscription of C\3. 2s. 
 erf.but at a second meeting, at Northampton, Oct. 31, Brother 
 Pearce brought the surprising sum of /CTO. from his fiiends at 
 Birmingham, which put new spirits into us all. Still we knew 
 not how to proceed, whom to send, nor where to begin our op- 
 erations. Pearce had read the account of the Pellew Islands, 
 and was inclined to propose them for the object of our first at- 
 tempt. But just at this time, Mr John Thomas returned from 
 Bengal. He had repeatedly written from thence to Dr. Sten- 
 nett, to my father, and to Mr. Booth, and given some account of 
 his conferences with the natives : we found he was now en- 
 deavouring to raise a fund for a mission to that country, and to 
 engage a companion to go out with him. It was resolved to 
 make some farther inquiry respecting him, and to invite him 
 to go back under the patronage of our Society. I had visited 
 Bristol in the latter end of August and beginning of September 
 preceding ; and took a second journey thitner, to supply the 
 church in Broadmead the last Lord's day in j 792, and the first 
 three in 1793 ; consequently I was not present when the Com- 
 mittee met at Kettering, Jan. 10, when Carey first offered him- 
 self to go as a companion to Mr. Thomas: but tlie particulars 
 are stated in the Narrative of our Mission. One circumstance 
 has not yet been made public. Dear Brother Pearce went to 
 London with Thomas and Carey. He examined if it would be 
 prudent to apply for the leave of the Directors. He found that 
 we should in all probability meet with a refusal ; which would be 
 more embarrassing to our minds, and would render it more of- 
 fensive to the Company, should they get out in defiance of them, 
 than if they went without leave and without prohibition. A captain 
 who had known Mr. Thomas, offered to take them out without 
 
140 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 leave. We did not know what to do : conscious that we meant 
 no ill to any one, and were aiming to discharge a most important 
 duty, Brother Pearce consented to the plan. They embarked ; 
 but while they lay off the Isle of Wight, one Saturday I received 
 a letter from Brother Fuller, saying, — " We are quite disap- 
 pointed respecting our Missionaries, who are obliged to leave 
 the ship. A letter has been received by the Captain, signed 
 Verax, in which he is informed, that an information will be laid 
 against him, for taking out persons not authorized by the Com- 
 pany, and reminding him that he knows what the consequences 
 will be. The Captain has therefore insisted upon our breth- 
 ren's leaving the ship. Well, I never liked this way of going 
 out ; though, as there seemed no possibility of finding any oth- 
 er, I yielded to it : perhaps all may yet be for the best ; but we 
 must call a Committee immediately, to consider what should be 
 done. If you will write to some of the Committee, I will write 
 to others.'* Such I well remember was the purport ®f Brother 
 Fuller's letter to me ; in compliance with which I w as just 
 going to >vrite us he requested, when in came Thomas and Ca- 
 rey. At seeing them I said, " Well, I know not whether to 
 say I am glad or sorry to see you 1" They replied, " If you 
 are sorry, your sorrow may be turned into joy, for it is all for 
 the best. We have been at Hackleton, and have seen Mrs. 
 Carey ; she is well recovered from her confinement, and is now 
 able to accompany her husband, and is willing to go." I think 
 they said, that she had at first refused : they left the house, and 
 had walked half a mile, when Mr. Thomas proposed to go 
 back again, an additional argument having struck his mind to 
 use with her. They went back ; she said she would go, if her 
 sister would go with her. They then pleaded with the sister, 
 that it depended on her whether the family should be separated 
 or not. Since Mrs. Short's return from India, she has told me 
 that she hastened up stairs to pray, and when she came down, 
 told them she was willing to go. Having related the above, 
 they told me they had heard of a Danish ship which would be 
 in the Downs in four days, and had room for them all. "But 
 (said they,) the necessity of the case requires we should set off 
 immediately, and travel all day to-morrow • but we must have 
 
MR. FULLER. 14J 
 
 two hundred pounds more to pay for the passage of the family." 
 I replied, " I have about nine pounds in my hands, belonging- 
 to the Mission, and between four and five pounds of my own, 
 that is all with which I can furnish you." " We must have two 
 hundred," they said. " Well, I recollect, (said I,) that there is 
 at Kettering a bill of two hundred pounds sent from Yorkshire : 
 it is I suppose not yet due, for it had a pretty long time to 
 run, but that would exactly answer your exigencies." '< We 
 have no time to go to Kettering, (said they,) we must be off 
 directly." I desired them to sit down a few minutes, while I 
 wrote letters to Mr, Newton, Mr. Booth, and Dr. Rippon ; 
 stating the case, and requesting them to advance the money, 
 which I assured them could be immediately repaid. And 
 thus we parted, expecting never more to meet on earth. Carey 
 went down to Gravesend ; Thomas returned to the ship at the 
 Isle of Wight, hired an oyter-boat, to take their goods, (which 
 should support them for the first year) from the English ship 
 to the Danish : at that time I heard that the coast swarmed with 
 French privateers ; but he met them safely in the Downs. 
 
 In the mean time, Mrs. Thomas, who had refused to go out 
 by herself, in compliance with the pressing solicitations of her 
 husband for some years before, but had now obtained leave to go 
 to her friends in India, had her spirits so raised, as to venture to 
 proceed with her daughter in the English vessel, hoping to meet 
 him in India. These little circumstances, which deeply impress- 
 ed my mind as indications of the hand of Providence, protecting 
 us in our feeble beginnings, I shall be excused for introducing in 
 this place. It is pleasant to look back, and see how the Lord led 
 us on, when we began a work for conducting which we were 
 very little prepared by any previous means. Well may we ex- 
 claim, What hath God wrought! For surely it was he that raised 
 up his own instruments, both for the foreign and the home de- 
 partment. All was his doing, and is marvellous in our eyes. 
 
 Never wa^ a man more indefatigable in any work for God, 
 than Brother Fuller was in his exertions of every kind for the 
 Avelfare of this Society ; and he found that in all such labour 
 there is profit. He writes thus concerning it, in his diary, of 
 July 18, 1794. 
 
]42 .MF..MOIRS OF 
 
 " Within the last year or two. we have formed a Missionary 
 Socictv ; aiid have been enabled to send out two of our brethren 
 :o the East Indies. My heart has been £;reatly interested in this 
 work. Surely I never felt more genuine love to God and to his 
 cause in my life. I bless God that this work has been a means 
 of reviving my soul. If nothing else comes of it. I and many 
 more have obtained a spiritual advantage. My labours however 
 in this harvest, I have reason lo think, brought on a paralytic 
 stroke, bv which, in Januar)- 1793, I for a week or two lost the 
 use of one side of my face. That was recovered in a little 
 time ; but it left behind it a head-ache, which I have reason lo 
 tliink will never fully leave me. I have ever since been inca- 
 pable of reading or writing with intense application. At this 
 time I ani much better tlian I was last year, but even now read- 
 ing or writing for a few houi-s will bring on the head-ache. 
 Upon the whole, however, I feel satisfied. It was in the ser- 
 Tice of God. If a man lose his limbs or his health by intem- 
 perance, it is to liis dishonour ; but not so if he lose them in 
 serving his country. Paul was desirous of dt/ing- to the Lord ; 
 so let me." 
 
 Yet he complained that these engagements were some im- 
 pediment to his pastoral duties ; and wrote thus, Oct. 27, 1794. 
 
 ^ Of late I have been greatly employed in journeying and 
 preaching, and endeavouring to collect for the East India Mis- 
 sion. I find a frequent removal from place to place, though 
 good for my health, not good for my soul. I feel weary of 
 journies, on account of their interfering so much with my work 
 at home. 1 long to visit my congregation, that I may know 
 more of iheir spiritual concerns, and be able to preach to their 
 cases.' 
 
 Still however, the increa5ing importance of the Mission called 
 far increasing exertions at home, and Mr. Fuller entered mto 
 the business with his whole soul. He never pressed and urged 
 the case on those that were reluctant ; but simply told an un- 
 Tamished tale, and left it to conscience to dictate whether it 
 deserved assistance. At first he met with many rebuflFs ; and 
 he was so grieved with the want of greater zeal for the cause 
 
MR. FULLER. Ht* 
 
 «f God, that he sometimes retired from the more public street^ 
 of London into the back lanes, that he might not be seen by 
 other passengers, to weep for his having so little success. But 
 by degrees God roused the zeal of our own brethren, and those 
 of other denominations, to assist in this cause. On one occa- 
 sion, I remember, a gentleman told him, that if it had been a 
 case of personal distress he would help a Baptist, as well as 
 another man ; but he did not think it consistent to aid our 
 spreading the gospel abroad, as we should doubtless spread our 
 own peculiar ideas of Baptism with it. " Well, sir, (said he,) 
 I have such a case in my pocket, and can assure you it is a good 
 one ; but I do not wish you to do what your conscience would 
 restrict you from doing.*' The gentleman gave to this more 
 private case. The next lime Mr. Fuller came to town, he saw 
 the same gentleman again, and applied to another^ in his pres- 
 ence, on behalf of the Mission ; but said nothing to him on the 
 subject. " Well, (said he,) Mr. Fuller, you do not ask me 
 this time.'* No, sir, (said Mr. F.) you told me you did not 
 think it your duty.'* " True, (said the gentleman,) but per- 
 haps my conscience is now better informed." Mr. F. then 
 thankfully accepted his money for the Mission. 
 
 For several years past he spent nearly a fourth part of his 
 time in journies to collect for the support of this Society ; and 
 a great part of his time at home was occupied in the same con- 
 cerns. He went five times into Scotland,* once to Ireland,! 
 and many times to London, on the business of the Mission ; 
 besides journies to Lancashire, Yorkshire, Norfolk, Essex, the 
 West of England, and Wales. 
 
 « Besides this, he wrote frequently to the Missionaries indi 
 vidually, and drew up most of the letters which were sent to 
 them from the Society. He often had occasion to apply on their 
 behalf to persons of influence, connected either with the East 
 India Company, or with the British Government ; and gener- 
 ally he discovered peculiar sagacity and readiness of thought, 
 in all his intercourse, even with persons who moved in a very 
 different line to that to which he himself had been accustomed^ 
 
 * la 1799—1803—1805—1808—1813, f In 2804. 
 
144 xMEMOIRS OF 
 
 He ably defended the cause of Missions in general, and of 
 our own in particular, in that Jfiology^ in three parts, which has 
 been ah'cady noticed in the catalogue of his works ; and which 
 was published in reply to the misrepresentations and objections 
 made, in several hostile publications. 
 
 In short, the whole weight of its concerns lay far more 
 upon him than upon any man in England, and he cared for it 
 night and day, and most disinterestedly laid himself out for its 
 welfare, from its commencement to his death. While on a 
 journey with a confidential friend, he once remarked, " Friends 
 talk to me about coadjutors and assistants, but I know not how 
 it is, I find a difficulty. Our undertaking to India really ap- 
 peared to me, on its commencement, to be somewhat like a 
 few men, who were deliberating about the importance of pene- 
 trating into a deep mine, which had never before been explored. 
 We had no one to guide us, and while we were thus deliber- 
 ating, Carey, as it were, said, 'Well, I will godownift/oM 
 will hold the rope.' But before he went down, (continued Mr- 
 Fuller,) he, as it seemed to me, took an oath from each of us, 
 at the mouth of the pit, to this effect, that ' while we lived? 
 ■we should never let go the rope.' You understand me. There 
 was great responsibility attached to us who began the busi- 
 ness : and so I find a difficulty." 
 
 Accordingly his whole soul appeared to be engaged in these 
 concerns, and he " naturally cared" for the welfare of our 
 dear brethren abroad ; and from time to time communicated 
 early intelligence to distant friends, respecting the progress of 
 the Missionaries, both in translating the Scriptures, and spread- 
 ing the knowledge of the gospel among the heathen. 
 
 In all our Committee Meetings our concerns were man- 
 aged without debate or contention ; and this, not because others 
 had not full liberty to state their opinions, but because we all felt 
 as brethren ; and if his opinion was treated with peculiar re- 
 spect, it was because we found by constant experience, that such 
 was the soundness of his judgment, that we scarcely ever had 
 cause to regret a compliance with his advice. 
 
 Our Missionaries would have rejoiced if it had been possi- 
 ble for him to have written to them much more frequently and 
 
MR. FOLLER. f45 
 
 largely than he did ; and I doubt not but they could furnish us 
 with far more remarkable proofs of the value of his corres- 
 iwndence than I can insert in this publication. A very small 
 specimen of his correspondence, however, I am able to sub- 
 join. Perhaps our brethren at Serarapore may hereafter give 
 us documents still more interesting. 
 
 TO MR. JOHN THOMAS. 
 
 '^Dec. 24, 1795. 
 " My dear Br other', 
 
 *' Your work is a great vi^ork, and the eyes of the 
 
 religious world are upon you. I often think of the depth ol that 
 providence that first took you to India, inclined your heart to 
 the good work of the Lord, and brought you to England in search 
 of an Assistant, just at the time that we were in quest of an 
 opening. Your undertaking, with that of your dear colleague, 
 has provoked many. The spirit of Missions is gone forth, 
 I wish it may never stop till the gospel is sent into all the 
 world. Do not, my dear Brother, give way to a spirit of de- 
 jection. Look forward to your reward. You are sowing a 
 seed, the fruit of which may grow to the end of time, and 
 may add to the harvest of everlasting joy. How often do I 
 think of you, especially on a Lord's day morning. My eye 
 glances more swift than lightning to your abodes. There 
 methinks I see you, I hear you pleading with a people of a 
 
 strange language. My soul goes up to God for you 
 
 ' Lord bless them, keep them, support them, succeed them 1* 
 and thus I doubt not pray thousands of your brethren. My 
 dear Brother, the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. Our 
 friends unite in affectionate regards to you all, with 
 " Your affectionate Brother, 
 
 «A. FULLER." 
 
 Mr. Thomas was a man possessed of many admirable quali- 
 fications, but liable to great inequalities in his natural spirits, 
 
 and not always so steady and so prudent as could be wished, 
 19 
 
146 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 though we had good room to believe his heart was right 
 Avitli God. A letter from himself to Brother Pearce now lost 
 and forgotten, led Mr. Fuller to think it needful to address him 
 once in the following close and tender manner. 
 
 TO MR. JOHN THOMAS. 
 
 "Mat/ 16, 1796. 
 " My very dear Brother^ 
 
 I have read yours to Brother Pearce. O what feelings does 
 it excite ! How could I weep on your account. Nay, before I 
 write any more, I will go aside, and weep and pray for you, to 
 him who alone can deUver your soul from death, and keep your 
 feet from falling. 
 
 " My dear Biother, it has afforded me some consolation while 
 pleading with God on your behalf, that his help could fly swifter 
 than this letter. O tiiat before this arrives you may be delivered 
 from tiie horrible pit ! 
 
 " Shall I tell you a little of my own experience ? At one 
 period of my life I had a severe domestic trial. My heart 
 melted under it like wax. I cried much to the Lord, and he de- 
 livered me out ot my affliction. At first I thought I could never 
 forget his goodness, I erected, as it were a memorial to it, and 
 charged my soul to Hve to him all my future Hfe. But within 
 a few mionths after my troubles had subsided, I sunk insensibly 
 into a kind of lassitude, and neglected to watch and pray. I be- 
 came careless and indolent, and my work became less interest- 
 ing to me than heretofore. In this state of mind I was accosted 
 with temptations, which, though they did not draw me into 
 open sin, will cause deep self-abasement to the end of my life. 
 My hands hung down like a bulrush, and I had no pleasure in 
 myself. I used to preach, and resolved to preach the truth, 
 though it should rise up in judgment at the last day to condemn 
 me : and often have I gone into the pulpit with the idea, that 
 possibly it might be only heightening my condemnation. 1 sel- 
 dom was without hope ; though I sometimes feared that I did 
 not refrain from sin because I loved God, but because I was 
 
MR. FOLLER. 14? 
 
 afraid of the consequences ; which I could not but consider a 
 mark of a wicked character, Tliough I had nearly lost the en- 
 joyments of religion, I was almost equally unacquainted with its 
 sorrows. My heart refused to melt. A tear though shed in 
 anguish, was to me a real enjoyment. A deep dejection seized 
 me, which, though I stroveto throw it off in company, would be 
 sure to return as soon as I retired. I did not neglect private 
 prayer, but had no enjoyment in it. I used to cast myself 
 prostrate before the Lord, depressed under the load of a hard 
 heart. Now and then I groaned out, * God be merciful to me 
 a sinner.' I never till then understood the xxxii. and xxxviiith 
 Psalms, in which the Psalmist appears to describe the state of 
 his mind after his sin, and previous to his restoration. Psa. 
 xxxii. 3, 4. and xxxviii. 1 — 10. O, thought I, blessed indeed is 
 the man whose transgression is forgiven, and in whose spirit 
 there is no guile ! But it is not so v.?ith me ! I had used to make 
 memorandums in a kind of diary ; but now I left it off. I used 
 now and then, however, to write a little ; and I will give you an 
 extract. 
 
 « ' Oct. 3, 1789. — I feel at times some longings after the lost 
 joys of salvation, but cannot recover them. I have departed 
 from God ; and yet I may rather be said to be habitually de- 
 jected on account of it, than earnestly to repent for it. I find 
 much hardness of heart, and a spirit of inactivity has laid hold of 
 me ; I feel that to be carnally -minded is death. O that it were 
 with me as in months past !* 
 
 « About this time I read Dr. Owen on Mortification of Sin 
 with great advantage, which I will send you. It will be accom- 
 panied with my prayers, that it may be of as much use to you 
 as it was to me. 
 
 « Within these few years, my soul has not only recovered its 
 former tone ; but, blessed be God ! a greater degree of spiritual 
 strength than at any former period : and I think my engage- 
 ment in the work of the Mission has more than any thing 
 contributed to it. Before this I did little but pore over my mis- 
 ery ; but since I have betaken myself to greater activity for 
 God, my strength has been recovered, and my soul replenished. 
 I have not been contented with ransacking for past evidences 
 
148 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 of love to God ; but have been enabled to love and serve him 
 afresh ; looking for mercy to the Lamb of God, who taketli 
 away the sin of the world. But I still look back to the worm- 
 wood and the gall. My soul hath them still in remembrance 
 and is humbled in me. Should this recital of the Lord's 
 dealings with me be of use to you, how thankful shall I be I 
 The Lord Jesus Christ be with thy spirit. 
 " Affectionately yours, 
 
 « A. FULLER." 
 
 TO MR. AND MRS. CHATER, AND MR. AND MRS. ROBINSON. 
 
 « Kettering^ J/iril 5, 1806.- 
 " My ve7'y dear Brethren and Sisters, 
 
 " It was painful to me to be obliged to leave you so soon, 
 but I could not do otherwise. My hands are now full of en- 
 gagements, that must be attended to in a few hours. I just 
 write to you a few lines again, to express my earnest concern 
 for your welfare ; and to bid you farewell in the name of the 
 Lord. Brother Chater requested a copy of the discourse at Ox- 
 ford, or so much of it as I could recover. 1 cannot furnish 
 this in time, as I must set off for Leicestershire early on 
 Monday morning. But I will endeavour to do it, and that 
 at Devonshire-square too, shortly ; and send them by one of 
 the spring ships, which may arrive soon after you. 
 
 " There is the greatest necessity for us all to keep near to 
 God, and to feel that we are in that path of which he approves. 
 This will sustain us in times of trial. The want of this can- 
 not be supplied by any thing else. Beware of those things 
 which draw a veil between him and you, or that render a throne 
 of grace unwelcome. If God be with you, you shall do well ; 
 you shall be blessings among the sailors, among the brethren 
 in India, and among the natives. Be very conversant with 
 your Bibles. The company we keep, and the books we read, 
 insensibly form us into the same likeness. I love to converse 
 with a Christian, whose mind is imbued with the sentiments of 
 the Scriptures. I find it advantageous to read a part of the 
 Scriptures to myself before private prayer, and often to turn it 
 
MR. PULLER. 149 
 
 into prayer as I read it. Do not read the Scriptures merely as 
 preachers, in order to find a text, or something to say to the 
 people ; but read them that you may get good to your own 
 souls. Look at the Saviour as he walks, as he walks before 
 you ; and then point others to him. John i. 35. 
 
 " Next to communion with your God and Saviour, cherish 
 love to one another. Good sense and good temper may pre- 
 serve you from falling out by the way, and exposing yourselves 
 to the censure of spectators : but this is not enough. The 
 apostolic precept, which is so often repeated, ' Little children 
 love one another,* includes more than an abstinence from dis- 
 cord, or the routine of civility. You must know one another, 
 and love each other in the Lord. To do this, you must^often 
 think of the dying love of Christ towards you. When I have 
 sometimes surveyed the church of which I am a pastor indi- 
 vidually, my mind has revolted from this member for this fault? 
 and from another for that ; but when I have met them at the 
 table of the Lord, one thought has dissipated all these hard 
 things : — *Feed the church of God, which he hath purchased 
 with his own blood !* O, thought I, if my Saviour could find 
 in his heart to lay down his life for them, who am I, that I should 
 withhold the tenderest regards from them ? If he can forgive 
 
 them, shall I be unforgiving ? Nay more If he could 
 
 lay down his life for me, and forgive me^ who am I, that I should 
 cherish a hard and unforgiving heart towards my brethren ? 
 
 " My dear Brethren ! Know nothing but Jesus Christ and 
 him crucified Be this the summit of your ambition. For 
 you to live must be Christ. You may never be of that literary 
 consequence which some are ; but if you possess a savour of 
 Christ, you will be blessings in your generation ; and when 
 you die, your names will be precious, not only in India and 
 Britain, but in the sight of the Lord. 
 
 " My dear Sisters ! It is not much that I have known of you : 
 but what I have, has tended to endear you to me. My heart is 
 toward those young people in our Israel, of both sexes, who have 
 offered themselves willingly in this divine war ! Treat your 
 husbands with an attentive, respectful, and obliging carriage ; 
 as I trust they will treat you. Treat each other as sisters, and 
 
ibO ItfEMOIRS OF 
 
 the young' woman tliat goes out with you too. Compel her when 
 she parts with you to part weeping. Tears of this sort arc 
 worth more than thousands of compliments. Do not make con- 
 fidents of one another in matters of offence ; but in a gentle 
 and tender way, get into the habit of communicating to the 
 party her faults ; and encourage her to do the same by you* 
 This rule will be necessary, not only on your voyage, but 
 through life. The God of all grace be with you ! Present 
 my kind love to the dear Captain Wickes. Accept the same 
 to yourselves. My wife and daughter unite in wishing you 
 prosperity in the name of the Lord. 
 
 " I am yours, very affectionately, 
 
 « A. FULLER.'^ 
 
 The preceding letters can only be considered as a very 
 slight specimen of his mode of correspondence with the Mis- 
 sionaries. Our brethren now at Serampore could no doubt fur- 
 nish what would be far more interestmg. 
 
 He Ji7'st visited Scotland in 1799. Mr. Fishwick of New- 
 castle on Tyne, (who, very soon after the formation of the So- 
 eiety, had sent us twenty pounds,) was then a partner in a large 
 colliery in Scotland, and sent our first proposals to Dr. Charles 
 Stuart, of Edinburgh, and to Mr. Campbell, a member of the 
 Baptist church of which Mr. Archibald McLean was pastor : 
 they obtained also further information from Dr. Rippon's Ba/i- 
 tist Register. In April and May 1794, Messrs. Innes and Ew- 
 ing,* who were then ministers of the Church of Scotland, took 
 a journey for their health. They both preached at Broadmead, 
 being acquainted with Mr. Joseph Hughes, then my colleague ; 
 and visited Birmingham also, where they met with Brother 
 Pearce. His ardent zeal for the Mission imparted to them a 
 kindred flame ; and they made it farther known in Edinburgh. 
 Mr. McLean's friends were for a time kept back from lending 
 their aid, on account of the difference on some points between 
 the Scotch and English Baptists. But on his return from a 
 visit to London in 1795, he stimulated his people to aid our 
 
 • The former now a Baptist miaister at Edinburgh, tbe latter an In-* 
 dependent at Glasgow. 
 
MR. FULLER. 151 
 
 ^lission. Dr. Stuart printed a small pamphlet, and Mr, 
 M'Lean a sermon, on Psa. xxii. 27, 28. which went through 
 two editions ; and had a very favourable effect. He preached 
 on the subject in the Circus, and collected above a hundred 
 pounds. Good Dr. Erskine, with whom I kept up a frequent 
 correspondence from 1780 to his death, was a cordial friend. 
 He informed me, October the 25th, 1796, that the Edinburgh 
 Missionary Society had voted unanimously fifty pounds, to aid 
 the Bengalee translation. After these things had prepared the 
 way, Messrs. Haldane and Ewing, began to feel interested in 
 our success. And Mr. Robert Haldane happening to inquire of 
 Dr. Stuart, what intelligence he had from the Baptist Missionary 
 Society, the Dr. replied, " Dismal intelligence ! The funds are 
 low, and no success as yet.'* " As to funds, (said he,) 1 always 
 intended to give them somewhat, but never did : could you 
 desire Mr. Fuller to draw on me for a hundred pounds, and tell 
 him that if he would come down and preach, 1 am persuaded 
 my brother would welcome him, and so would Mr. Ewing." 
 The Dr. wrote by the next post. Mr. Fuller went down, and 
 met with a kind reception. One evening, when many friends 
 were very happy together in his company, a lady said, « O 
 Sir, why did not you come here before ?" " Why, Madam, (said 
 Mr. Fuller,) every man, as Sir Robert Walpole said, has his 
 price ; and till that gentleman there sent me a hundred pounds, 
 I did not know it would be worth while to visit you.** 
 
 This was in October 1799. Mr. Fuller kept a journal of this 
 visit to Scotland. I am satisfied that his subsequent visits al- 
 tered his opinions of some persons and things ; I shall there- 
 fore not transcribe the whole, though I shall be careful not to 
 disguise any thing I extract. He began with these remarks ; — = 
 
 " I am going out for a month altogether, among faces which 
 I have never seen. My spirits revolt at the idea : but duty 
 calls. I go to make collections for the Translations of the 
 Scriptures into Bengalee. 
 
 « I am subject to many faults in company, and often incur 
 guilt : The Lord keep me in the way I shall go, and enable me 
 to keep my heart with all diligence. O that I may be spiritual, 
 humble, and watchful, in all companies. May the God and 
 
152 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 Father of our Lord Jesus Christ prosper my way ! May thd^ 
 God of Israel preserve my family, friends, and connexionsj 
 during; my absence. 
 
 " Oct. 2, 1799. Supped at an inn to night at Bourne ; and 
 found myself very unexpectedly in agreeable company. A 
 Mr. Shore, who rides for Collect and Cox, drapers, Cheapside, 
 and who hears Mr. Ntwton, sat with me during the evening. 
 He travels much in this country, and agrees with others in his 
 observations on its profaneness. Lincolnshire, Rutland, Hunt- 
 in |3;donshire, and the Isle of Ely, are a kind of heathen parts 
 of the land. Some of our farmers have observed, that if you go 
 to a market from Bedford or Olney, on the south ; to Notting- 
 ham, on the north, you will see business done in a still, civil, 
 decent manner ; but if you go to the markets of Uppingham, 
 Oakham, Stamford, or any pan of Lincolnshire, you will hear 
 hundreds of oaths and lies. One swearing that he will take no 
 less, another that he will give no more, and a third wishing him- 
 self accursed if he do otherwise than he has said he will, which 
 yet in a few minutes he will do ! These parts of the kingdom 
 are nearly destitute of evangelical preaching : what they have 
 which goes by that name, is mostly tinged either with Armin- 
 ianism, or with Antinomianism ; which systems paralyze prac- 
 tical godliness. In this, I refer chiefly to the state of things 
 among the Dissenters ; I have heard of some evangelical cler- 
 gymen being settled hereabouts ; but what their preaching is, 
 I do not know. If it be good, yet it has had but little time at 
 present to operate. 
 
 " Mr. Shore was observing how similar the excuses of all 
 carnal men are, of whatever profession or country. A canni- 
 bal in the South Sea Islands, being reproved for the unnatural 
 and atrocious nature of his conduct in eating human flesh, an- 
 swered, * it is so sweet.* Such is the governing motive of most 
 other sinners. How sweet was the hope of getting what wa& 
 not their own, to some hundreds of people at this town, when I 
 entered it, who were all on edge in throwing up their shillings 
 at the stage of a mountebank. I was told tiiat a great many 
 poor men had left their harvest work, and brought their earn- 
 ings to tiy their good luck ! 
 
MR. FDLLER, 153 
 
 ^« 3. — Travelled from Bourn to Barton-on-the-Humber in the 
 Lincoln stage, with indifferent company. Between Lincoln and 
 Brigg we had a Mr. Armfcit with us, a hearer of Mr. Burn of 
 Birmingham, who seemed to know somewhat of the gospel. 
 
 « 4.- — Sailed over the Humbar to Hull, in company with Mr. 
 Collins, a clergyman from Bath, who has changed his name to 
 Berry. Preached at Mr. Lyon's meeting-house : several minis- 
 ters in the town, or from the neighbourhood, attended. 
 
 « 5. — This morning I have been reading Soame Jenyns on 
 the Internal Evidence of Christianity. He seems according to 
 his motto, almost a Christian. I question if miracles and proph- 
 ecies be now wholly dependent for their validity on the truth of 
 the Christian religion, as he suggests, {fi. 4.) They have each 
 characters which prove them to be divine. As to prophecy 
 especially, its being fulfilled is sufficient still to establish 
 its divinity, and consequently the divinity of the Christian 
 religion. He seems undecided as to many of the doctrines of 
 revelation. His answer to the Socinians, however, (/z. 24 — 36.) 
 is just and pointed. He appears to have made too much of the 
 Christian religion, being an entirely new system, (under Prop. 
 2.) The same principles, though with less perspicuity, cer- 
 tainly run through the Old Testament. What he has said of 
 active courage being no virtue, I hardly think is accurate. If 
 aimed at a right end, and governed by the rule of right, it is 
 right ; and Christianity will celebrate it. * By faith they waxed 
 valiant in fight.* No disposition of the mind, which is purely 
 natural, can be either sinful, or otherwise than virtuous, if ex- 
 ercised to a right end, and by a right rule. Active courage is a 
 quality of God'S creating, and when consecrated to him, and 
 regulated by his revealed will, is virtuous. As to friendshifi', it 
 has certainly been exemplified, not only between David and 
 Jonathan, under the Old Testament, but by Christ and John 
 under the New. It is true, however, that what frequently goes 
 by that name among men is abhonent to the New Testament- 
 Christ wisely taught nothing, he thinks, on the duties of gov- 
 ernment, (/2. 53.) He taught that men should do to others as 
 they would that others should do to them ; a principle which, if 
 acted upon by independent nations, as well as individuals, would 
 20 
 
164 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 render the world happy. I have no doubt but that magistrates 
 and subjects migjht both clearly learn their respective duties 
 from the New Testament. His doctrine of passive suffering I 
 suspect is carried beyond the design of the New Testament ', 
 which is not to render us stoics, nor to set aside all resentments. 
 Were not the reproofs of Christ to the Pharisees mingled with 
 displeasure at their conduct ? And Paul's speech to the high- 
 priest, * God shall smite thee, thou wliited wall,* appears to 
 contain resentment. It is true, he made some apology for it ; 
 not, however for the spirit of it, but merely for its being inad» 
 vertently addressed to 'the ruler of his people/ See also 
 John xviii 23. Acts xvi. 37. He represents a change of dis- 
 position as the effect of repentance, (fi- 66) whereas it seems 
 vice versa. It is common for writers so to explain the term 
 faith as just to include their own^ and no more. This writer 
 thinks the atonement necessary to be believed. A Socinian 
 would deny this ; and others would plead that more was includ- 
 ed under the phrase ' Jesus Christ is the son of God,' than 
 Soame Jenyns would plead for. I have written my thoughts 
 on this in my answer to Dr Toulmin, towards the close. He 
 is right, I think, on the moral nature of faith, {pfi. 70, 7 1 .) Our 
 « amusements* must not lead us * too far out of the way,' {fi. 75.) 
 May they lead us at all out of the way ? No, whatsoever we do, 
 must be done to the glory of God. He ascribes all civilization, 
 arts, and sciences, to revelation; (/z. 100) but men without 
 the light of the gospel may certainly attain these things. China, 
 for example, had made progress in many things of a natural 
 kind, and which could not, I should think, have been derived 
 from revelation. He does not believe the scriptures to be in- 
 spired of God, (/2. 106.) He appears to me but very little be- 
 fore the modern Socinians on this subject. Upon the whole, 
 having read it through, though there be some excellent things 
 in it, I could not forbear fearing that he is only almost persuaded 
 to be a Christian. I knew the man about twenty years ago. He 
 was a still, peaceable gentleman ; but nothing more. He was 
 a Member of Parliament, and though he writes against war, yet 
 he voted with Lord North, I believe, during the American 
 lyar. 
 
^ MR. FFLLER. 15i| 
 
 « 6. Lord's day. — Still at Hull, where I preached three times 
 to-day, at Mr. Lambert's place, at Salthouse Lane, and at 
 George Street. I had good times in the moinina: and evening, 
 and received much friendship from the people. Met with Mr. 
 Longridge, a Methodist gentleman from Sunderland, who some- 
 times preaches. He gave me ivvo guineas for our mission, and 
 1 hope for his company to Newcastle ; he seems a serious, in- 
 telligent man. I visited many this morning to collect for the 
 Bengalee New Testament: preached and collected in the eve- 
 ning, and then set off for York. 
 
 *< 8. — I reached Newcastle, whither Brother Sutcliff had ar- 
 rived before me ; where we also met with Mr. Charles Whit- 
 field, the Baptist minister of Hamsterly in Durham. Mr. Has- 
 sel from Plymouth is now with the Baptist church at Newcastle- 
 I called there on a Dr. Greve, who has been excluded from a 
 Scotch Baptist church, merely for not agreeing with them in 
 some matter of discipline. Surely such a uniformity leaves no 
 room for free discussion. A church thus conducted must ren- 
 der all its members the slaves of terror ; who agree because 
 they dare not disagree. Such a system must fritter the church 
 into endless parties. I perceive we are going among men 
 where indeed we had need be wise as serpents and harmless as 
 doves. 
 
 " 10. — Rode to Edinburgh. A view of the sea and other ob- 
 jects very agreeable. Arrived at Dr. Stuart's this evening. I 
 find him an interesting man. 
 
 " 1 1 . — .Paid visits to many friends to-day ; Dr. Erskine, Mr. 
 M'Lean, Mr, Braidwood, and others. Dr. Erskine in an excel- 
 lent old man ; several other ministers in the Kirk appear to be 
 very worthy men. Supped with some of these, and Dr. Jamie- 
 son, who is an Antiburgher. The Baptists seem to be tinged 
 generally with the sentiments of Glass and Sandeman, And 
 all parties in Scotland, except those who meet at the Circus, ap- 
 pear to be insulated from all others. 
 
 " We have been in company with persons favourable to the 
 church of Scotland twice, at Dr. Erskine's. There are certainly 
 some excellent men among them, particularly Mr. Black, and 
 Mr. Buchanan, as well as pr, Erskine, who is made up of kind- 
 
156 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 ness and goodness. But these good men, I observe, generally 
 look with a jealous eye upon the Circus ; and they like to speak 
 of the things done by the o/o? Society for promoting Christian 
 knowledge, which it is probable some others have too much un- 
 dervalued. 
 
 " I have been also in company with Messrs. Robert and James 
 Haldane, Aikman, Innes, Richie, and some other leading men 
 in the Circus connexion. Certainly these appear to be excel- 
 lent men, free from extravagance and nonsense, which infects 
 some of the Calvinistic Methodists in England; and yet try- 
 ing to imbibe and communicate their zeal and affection. Rob- 
 ert Haldane* seems a very disinterested, godly man, and his 
 •wife as disinterested and amiable as himself. They have agreed 
 to sell a large estate, to put the money into the funds, and to 
 live as retired as possible, in order to have the more to lay out 
 for the furtherance of the gospel. His brother James is a sim- 
 ple-hearted, affectionate, good man. He was a captain of an 
 East Indiaman, and relinquished his post for the gospel's sake. 
 He is pastor of a church on the congregational plan, which 
 meet at the Circus, and amount to near three hundred mem- 
 bers.! The forming of this church seems to have been the 
 united work of Messrs. Ewing, Innes, and the Haldanes ; prin- 
 cipally, for the sake of enjoying a greater degree of religious 
 liberty, than could be obtained in any of their denomin- 
 ations, which are each ruled by their respective synods. They 
 •wished, as Mr. Ewing told me, * to be at liberty to preach 
 in the villages,* without being accountable to any body of 
 men, who were commonly averse to all extraordinary ex- 
 ertion, and contented to plod on in the path of their prede- 
 cessors. They wished also to introduce English preachers, 
 and to have places of worship to w4iich they could invite them. 
 
 * When I was in Scotland in 1811, I was grieved te find that he was 
 calling in, with much rigour, the money he had advanced for building 
 places of worship, from several worthy men who did not follow hina in all 
 his subsequent changes ! 
 
 ■j- See Dr. Stuart's remarks upon it, and upon the state of religion »R 
 Scotland, in his Quarterly JHogazine, Ho. \' I. 
 
MR, FULLER. 157 
 
 And having, as I understood it, found the people willing at 
 Edinburgh, they erected a place at Glasgow, which they call 
 the Tabernacle. Here Mr. Ewing preaches, and has the tui- 
 tion of twenty-five young men for the ministry, all at the ex- 
 pense of Mr. Robert Haldane. 
 
 " Here two queries may be proposed. First, Was this un- 
 dertaking necessary ? To this it is replied, That there appears 
 a large proportion of formality to have affected the other de- 
 nominations ; both in the established Church of Scotland, and 
 all the classes of Presbyterian Seceders. The ministers, even 
 among the Seceders, must have bonds from their people for a 
 certain salary. Nor do they, in general, go out of tueir own 
 congregations ; but each moves on in his way, without exert- 
 ing himself for the conversion of the irreligious around him. 
 In the Kirk, too many of the ministers are what is called Mod- 
 erates, alias, mere worldly men, without any heart-feit relie-ion. 
 Yet in the way they go on in Scotland, there is little or no 
 entrance among their people by village preaching. And as 
 to the Seceders, both Burghers and Antiburghers, thoup;h they 
 retain the form of orthodoxy ; yet they make no efforts to spread 
 evangelical truth, and seem many of them to have very little 
 life. Mr. Ewing told me that his grand motive for leaving tho 
 Church, and engaging in his present undertaking, was a de- 
 sire to preach the gospel to people who heard it not, and could 
 not hear it upon the old plan. To us there seems a goodly 
 number of serious individuals of different denominations, but 
 all parties are too cold and formal. If any thing could breathe 
 the breath of life among them, or provoke them to jealousy, it 
 had need be introduced. It may be asked, 
 
 *« Secondly y Have the leading men engaged in it, conducted 
 themselves with propriety ? 
 
 « On this subject we have made inquiries of different 
 parties. / 
 
 « Some have attempted to insinuate that they are influencec^ 
 by democratic principles, and must have some wrong politick 
 design. One of their leading mfcn acknowledges, that here^- 
 fore, his mind was taken up with such subjects, soon after ilie 
 J'rench revolution, when he made a speech that gave consiier» 
 
I5S flIEMOIRS OF 
 
 able offence to many : but, he says, that be is now fully con« 
 vinced of the folly of a Christian so employing himself, and 
 that he is willing to make the fullest acknowledgment as to the 
 duty of obedience to the powers that be. And this is the 
 present mind of them all. 
 
 " The characters principally engag'.d in this new denomina- 
 tion, as far as we can judge, seem to be some of the best in 
 Scotland ; excepting a few individuals in other connexions, 
 such as Dr. Erskine, Mr. Black, 8cc. The two Haldanes, with 
 Messrs. Innes, Aikman, and Ewing, appear to us very intelli- 
 gent, serious, and affectionate in their work ; active, liberal, 
 and indeed almost every thing that we could wish : no drollery 
 in their preaching, but they seem very desirous to be and do 
 every thing that is right. 
 
 " At Glasgow, where Mr. Ewing, about ten weeks ago, has 
 opened a very large place of worship, an amazing congregation 
 is gathered, and was gathered, the very first Sabbath ; and that 
 chiefly from they know not where, from the highways and hedges. 
 The otlier ministers in the town it is true have lost some: 
 but all speak highly of Ewing. Dr. Balfour, to his honour be 
 it spoken, having lost one of his friends, and being asked wheth- 
 er it did not affect him, replied, ' That may be the case ; but 
 though it be a loss to me, yet it will be none to him : meaning 
 his former friend, who now attends Mr. Ewing. 
 
 "21. — Last week we set off from Edinburgh to Glasgow : 
 dined with David Dale, a venerable man, the first merchant in 
 Glasgow, and yet always calm and composed. He is pastor of 
 an Independent church in this city. After dinner we set off in 
 his carriage, with Mr. Ewing, for Paisley. Preached to a 
 crowded auditory, and collected about twenty pounds for the 
 Translation. Returning to Glasgow that evening, we heard of 
 the death of our beloved Pearce ! O Jonathan, very pleasant 
 fiast thou been to me. I am distressed for thee my brother Jon- 
 athan ! O Jonathan, thou wast slain on thy high places ! On 
 Thursday went to Greenock : met with kind treatment there. I 
 preached in a Burgher or else a Relief meeting, and Brother 
 Svtcliff stopped and preached there next day. They collected 
 
MR. FULLER. 169 
 
 US upwards of twenty pounds. I returned on Friday to Glas- 
 gow, and preached at the Tabernacle. On Lord's day, I preach- 
 ed in the morning at the Tabernacle, to about four thousand 
 people. In the afternoon Brother Sutcliff preached to the same 
 number or rather more ; and I went with my friend Dr. Stuart, 
 who came over to hear Mr. D Dale, at the Independent place, 
 where they collected for us upwards of iC200. There is a mild 
 sweetness about that venerable man, but I could wish that the 
 congregation discovered more of the lively and affectionate 
 spirit of Christianity. In the evening I preached again at the 
 Tabernacle. It was said that many hundreds went, away for 
 want of room. It was the largest audience I ever saw. On 
 Monday evening, I preached at the Relief meeting, in Camp- 
 bell Street, with much affection. We met with great kindness 
 from all parties ; and they seem to have a good deal of broth- 
 erly kindness one towards another. I walked an hour or two 
 with Dr. Stuart, and enjoyed much pleasure in his conversation. 
 He is a very interesting good man. While at Glasgow we had 
 an interview with Dr. Watt, who is one of the Baptists, a very 
 hiild, intelligent man. Our conversation turned a good deal 
 on things wherein we differed. Brother S. asked him if the 
 religion of the Independents and Baptists, both of which are 
 tinged with Mr. Sandeman*s peculiarities, allowed a proper and 
 scriptural place for the exercise of the affections ? To us it 
 seemed that where these principles prevail, they operate to 
 quench the religion of the heart. Many of them contend that 
 there is nothing in the nature of the faith of Christians, differ- 
 ent from the faith of devils ; and that all the different effects 
 arise from our different circumstances : that faith has nothing 
 of the will or the affections in it, but is mere light in the under- 
 standing : or, as Dr. Watt expressed it, * It is truth revealed 
 to the mind ; and though believing is expressed by an active 
 verb, yet we are no more voluntary in it, than we are in seeing 
 or hearing, which are also expressed by active verbs.' But it 
 Ibis were true, how could faith be a duty ? God requires nothing 
 of us but that wherein the will or the heart are concerned., 
 And how could unbelief be a sin ? Unbelief is certainly the op^ 
 posite of faith : if therefore the one be mere light in the mind. 
 
160 MEMOIRS OP 
 
 and include nothing voluntary, the other must be mere darkness 
 of the mind, and be equally involuntary. I have stated some 
 of these objections to my friend Dr. Stuart, in the Quarterly 
 Magazine^ No. VIII. p. 200. and he has attempted to answer 
 them in the same number. There is no end of controversy. I 
 have been labouring for many years to bend religious people to 
 what appears to me to be the truth ; but that ivhich is crooked 
 it seems cannot be made straight. This principle, commonly 
 held by the Baptists in these parts, appears to me an improtant 
 error, and I fear has an ill effect upon their religion, which 
 leans more to the speculative, than to the affectionate. And as 
 I have very few remarks more to add on other things, I will 
 liere subjoin a reply to the above paper. 
 
 « My dear Friend^ 
 
 " I thank you for having inserted my remarks on faith, in No. 
 VIII. of the Quarterly Magaziyie. Your candid reply affords 
 me an opportunity of confirming those remarks. 
 
 " You admit that the design of the Apostle James, in intro- 
 ducing the faith of devils, is, to ' make nothing of the faith of 
 nominal Christians ;* but you suppose he does this, not by a 
 comparison of it with the faith of devils, but, ' by representing 
 that fahh, whether it be on earth or in hell, if it really existed, 
 and was not merely pretended or professed, was always produc- 
 tive of corresponding works.' That is, you suppose that the 
 Apostle does not compare but contrast the faith of the nominal 
 Christian, with that of devils. His was dead, being alone ; 
 but the other was living, and productive of corresponding 
 works, even all that their situation would admit of, which is 
 trembling. I hope I have herein stated your full meaning- 
 To this 1 offer the following objections : — 
 
 " 1. The use of the term also^ ver. 19. is manifestly expres- 
 sive of likeness^ and not of contrast. If k»i be rendered and 
 or even^ it will amount to the same thing. ' Thou believest 
 that there is one God;' a great matter truly !* and the devils 
 
 • This 1 suppose to be the trae meaning of the terms— ^^om doest weUy 
 tvkich Ib ironical. 
 
MR. FULLER. 161 
 
 believe and tremble : or even the devils believe and tremble. 
 None of these forms convey the idea oi cont7'ast, but of likeness. 
 Each of them is equal to saying, ' This is no more than is true 
 of devils ; nor indeed quite so much : yet their faith amounts 
 to nothing ; -what therefore can you think of yours ?' 
 
 " 2. If the introduction of the faith of devils were designed as 
 a contrast, the reasoning would admit of soyne other contrast as 
 well as this. Let us make the experiment. ' Thou believest 
 that there is one God, thou doest well, the sincere Christian 
 also believes and obeys.' To make sense of this, it is neces- 
 sary that instead of the conjunctive particle acct, awrf, or eve^i^ 
 or also, it should be the disjunctive ccT^.hx, but ; at least, to have 
 comported with your idea, it should have been the devils also 
 believe, but tremble. On the other hand, make the experi- 
 ment of an instance of likeness, and the language is plain and 
 easy. * Thou believest there is one God ; a great matter truly ! 
 Felix also believed and trembled.* 
 
 « The ground on which your position rests, is the effect which 
 is ascribed to the faith of devils — trembliji^^ and which is not 
 ascribed to that of nominal Christians. This effect you reckon 
 among those corresponding works, which as you say alwq^'s 
 attend real faith. But this difference may not prove that the 
 faith of devils was real, and that of nominal Christians a mere 
 < pretence,' as you seem to understand it : it may only express 
 a difference in the degree in which each party was impressed 
 with the force of truth. The one was convinced that there was 
 a God ; but it was a mere speculation of the intellectual faculty, 
 unaccompanied with love ; and being in circumstances -v^herein 
 he saw no remarkable displays of his divine majesty, it made 
 little or no impression upon his mind. The others also were 
 convinced that there was a God, and neither were their con- 
 victions accompanied with love; yet being placed in circum- 
 stances wherein the awful majesty of heaven was continually 
 before their eyes, they knew already in part by sad experience 
 the truth of his threatenings, and trembled at the approach of 
 greater torments. There was no more goodness in this trem- 
 bling than in that of a malefactor under the gallows. I am 
 
 surprised therefore that you should reckon it amone: those * cor- 
 31 
 
162 MEMOIRS OP 
 
 responding works which always attend faith, if it really exists/ 
 What is it more than Felix felt under his convictions, and ap- 
 prehensions of a judgment to come ; who notwithstanding was 
 far from being a believer, or possessing any of those corres- 
 ponding works which the Scriptures represent as the fruits 
 of faith. 
 
 " Nothing seems, (to you,) more certain than that when any 
 person on earth believes Jesus, who is now invisible, with 
 equal assurance as the devils, he rejoices in hope, is animated 
 by love to him, and feels disposed to obey his will, and to resist 
 his own evil inclinations.' If I were to say, few things appear 
 to me more certain than the contrary, I should say the truth : 
 but I wish to make what appears certain to me, evident, if it be 
 possible, to my friend, and to his readers. If your position be 
 true, the difference between believers and devils arises entirely 
 from their different circumstances. But if so, let me entreat 
 you to consider whether consequences will not follow which 
 you would shudder to avow. 
 
 « 1. Will it not follow that the doctrine taught by our Lord, in 
 the parable of the rich man and Lazarus, is untrue ? Dives sup- 
 posed that the awful realities which he witnessed and felt, if 
 they could not be transferred to his brethren upon earth, must 
 certainly induce repentance. But you know the reply of Abra- 
 ham, which teaches that a change of circumstances would not 
 effect that which is not effected by the Scriptures. 
 
 « 2. Will it not follow that there is no absolute necessity of 
 divine agency to renew the heart of a sinner ? If a mere differ- 
 ence in circumstances were sufficient to cause that faith which 
 produces trembling to produce sincere love and obedience, what 
 necessity is there for divine influence ? All that would be nec- 
 essary, would be for sinners to be placed in such situations, 
 (which they will be in the world to come, and might be in this 
 world,) as that their assurance of the realities of religion should 
 be equal to that of the fallen angels. And thus all those scrip- 
 tures which teach the necessity of being born of the Spirit, are 
 set aside ; all that is necessary being an exercise of divine 
 providence^ which shall place them in such circumstances, as 
 that truth shall become influential. 
 
MK. FULLEU. 163 
 
 " 3. Will not such a representation of things rellect upon the 
 divine character, and tend to excuse the sinner ? The enmity 
 of sinners, according to this position, seems to arise merely from 
 their situation, as by a kind of natural necessity. Here they had 
 an object of hope held up to them ; but the means of inducing 
 belief were not sufficiently impressive. There the means will 
 be sufficiently impressive ; but they have no object of hope : 
 so that all they can do, is to tremble, and hate the Being who 
 hath shut them up in despair. Surely such a view of things is 
 not agreeable to the Scripture account of the divine character, 
 and of the unreasonable aversion of sniners. 
 
 " 4. Let me entreat you particularly to consider whether 
 that love and obedience which arises merely from a change of 
 circu?n8tancesj be any part of true religion. There are, I 
 grant, sensations in the human mind, which arise merely from 
 this cause, and which bear a resemblance to that love and obe- 
 dience which are connected with eternal life ; but they are not 
 the same. Many a sinner in the hour of approaching death is 
 greatly affected ; and while he thinks he must die, and be lost 
 for ever, he believes enough to make him tremble. At a time 
 however, when he has nearly given up all for lost, a favourable 
 turn is given to his affliction. He is affected now in another 
 way. He weeps, and thanks God for his hopes of recovery. 
 He vows also with great earnestness that if the Lord will perfect 
 that which concerns him, he will lead a new life, &c. But I 
 need not tell you that all this may consist with a heart at enmity 
 with the true character of God ; and that it frequently proves so, 
 by his returning, as soon as the impression wears off, like the 
 sow that was washed, to her wallowing in the mire. The whole 
 of this process is no more than an operation of self-love ; which 
 is very different from the love of God : yet this is all which 
 a mere change of circumstances can possibly effect. 
 
 " The grand incapacity of men to believe the gospel as it is 
 in Jesus, lies, as you acknowledge, in their < loving darkness 
 rather than light, which bHnds their minds, and perverts their 
 judgments.' But the same incapacity in this respect attends 
 devils as men, inasmuch as they love darkness rather than light, 
 
164 MEM0Ih3 OF 
 
 and perhaps in a greater degree than the other. And it is 
 doubtless equally true of the one as of the other, that they < see 
 no form nor comeliness in Christ, nor beauty that they should 
 desire him.* As men are alike capable with angels of believing 
 every thing pertaining to the gospel, which may be believed 
 with a wicked state of mind ; so angels are equally incapable 
 with men of believing any thing beyond it. 
 
 " Moreover, if the love of darkness be the grand cause of un- 
 belief, that effect will continue to be produced till the cause is 
 removed. To suppose, as you do, that the gospel may be be- 
 lieved without love, is the same thing as supposing it may be be- 
 lieved while under the dominion of aversion ; and that is saying 
 either that the law of darkness is, after all, no bar to believing, 
 or that God causes us to believe in some other way than by 
 removing it. 
 
 " I observed, « All duty is comprised in love.' By this I 
 meant that God requires the heart, the whole heart, and nothing 
 but the heart. This appears to me to be taught in the passages 
 to which I referred. Love is the fulfilling of the law. All the 
 law is fulfilled in one word . . . love. From hence I infer, that 
 as faith is allowed to be a part of duty, it must in its very na- 
 ture contain a portion of holy love : and I may add, it is no far- 
 ther a duty than as it is an exercise of it. So far as the belief 
 of the gospel is influenced i)y the heart or will, so far it is duty, 
 and no farther. The same may be said of its opposite : so far 
 as a disbelief of the gospel is influenced by the heart or will, so 
 far it is sinful, and no farther. 
 
 " You think there are duties which are not comprised in love, 
 and instance in the fear of God. If by fear you meant that kind 
 of dread which characterizes a slave, I should allow that love 
 does not comprise it, but stands opposed to it. 1 John iv. 18. 
 but then this is no part of duty. If by fear, on the other hand, 
 you mean a dread of offending and dishonouring God, which 
 you certainly do, I contend that this is only a modification of 
 love. Love to God considered as holy, operates in a way of 
 complacency ; considered as beneficent, in a way of gratitude ," 
 considered as a legislator, in a way of obedience ; and consid- 
 r^rcd as possessed of infinite glory and majesty, in a way of fear. 
 
MR. FULLER* 165 
 
 The love contained in the true fear of God, is the very thing 
 which distinguishes it from slavish dread, and denominates it 
 both a duty, and a grace of the Spirit, 
 
 " You acknowledge that unbelief is * more than a mistake of 
 the judgment,' that it is * a sin ;' and you proue it from its in- 
 cluding an aversion of the heart. You also acknowledge faith 
 to be a duty ; and I attempt to prove it by your medium, from 
 its including the acquiesence of the heart. But here your 
 system is affected, and here you leave me. I have enjoyed so 
 much in your company, that I am sorry for the loss of it: how- 
 beit I am not alone. 
 
 " You add, ' The exercises of the understanding are fre- 
 quently enjoined in Scripture.* O ye simfile ones understand 
 wisdom. Receive my instruction and not silver, and knoivledge 
 rather than choice gold. Sec. Knowledge is of two kinds: that 
 which is a simple exercise of the intellectual faculty ; and that 
 which is influenced by the state of the heart or will. The Jirst 
 is a mere natural exercise, equally so as the sight of the eye ; it 
 is essential to an accountable being, but is in itself neither good 
 nor evil. It cannot therefore be the object of scripture injunc- 
 tion, neither has it any promise made to it in all the book of 
 God. In good men it may increase love, but in wicked men it 
 commonly heightens hatred. * Ye have seen and hated me and 
 my Father.' When mentioned in connexion with holy exer- 
 cises, it is distinguished from them. * Do you know all these 
 things ? happy are ye if ye do them.' The last is what the 
 Scriptures call sfiiritual or holy knowledge, which is meant in 
 all those divine injunctions to which you refer, and has the 
 promise of eternal life. So far from this remark therefore, in- 
 validating my position, that all duty is comprised in love, it 
 confirms it : for as ignorance is just so far a sin, so knowledge 
 is just so far a duty, as it is influenced by the heart, and no far- 
 ther. That spiritual discernment of Christ's glory of which you 
 speak has in it a mixture of holy love. Hence the thing that 
 wisdom calls for is an understanding heart. Prov. viii. 5. 
 
 " If it were allowed that knowledge is a mere intellectual ex- 
 ercise, and which taken in its literal sense it certainly is, 
 Still it would not follow that the same is true of faith j for faith 
 
166 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 and knowledge are different, though, as I think, too much con- 
 founded by Mr. Sandeman and his admirers. To know the 
 meaning of the testimony is necessary to faith, but is not faith 
 itself; for it is equally necessary to unbelief, seeing no man can 
 be said to disbelieve any more than believe that of which he has 
 no idea. Knowledge is perception of what is affirmed : faith is 
 practically treating God as the God of truth, and unbelief is 
 treating him as a liar, which must therefore in both cases include 
 the acting out of the heart. 
 
 " But not only does faith include an exercise of the heart, 
 but knowledge itself if it be spiritual does the same. If no one 
 can call Jesus Lord, but by the Holy Spirit, it is because there 
 requires a holy influence from above, or an unction from the 
 Holy One, by which we know all things, to this end. This is 
 that spirituality by which alone spiritual things are discerned. 
 
 " It affords me pleasure that the light for which you plead is 
 spiritual or holy ; and that though you are unwilling to allow 
 it to include any exercise of the heart, yet you do not mean to 
 encourage mere speculators in relijrion to consider themselves 
 as the children of God. Your hypothesis however would lead 
 to it. 
 
 << If you are at a loss to conceive how knowledge of any kind 
 should include an exercise of the heart, only inquire if there be 
 no such thing as voluntary or wilful ignorance ; and whether 
 the true distinction between natural and moral ignorance does 
 not consist in this, that the one is owing to the want of powers or 
 advantages, and the other to an aversion to the truth. 
 
 " You observe, from Dr. Erskine, that * the Holy Spirit uses 
 words in their common acceptation — that faith does not signify 
 choice, affection, temper, behaviour, in common language ; but 
 merely persuasion or assent, and commonly persuasion founded 
 on testimony.* I do not contend that faith signijies affection, 
 temper, or behaviour ; but allow it to mean persuasion, or be- 
 lief That for which I contend, is, that it is such a persuasion as 
 is influenced by a sense of the glory of the things believed, 
 and which sense includes an affection of the heart; a per- 
 suasion which is effected by tl.c removal of that which you 
 say is their grand incapacity — < the love of darkness rather 
 
MR. FULLER. 167 
 
 than light ;' a persuasion which not only promotes repentance, but 
 firesiififioses it. Your system knows no repentance but what is 
 the effect of believing- the gospel ; but the Scripture system 
 calls men to refient and believe the gosfieL Mark i. 15. to r<?- 
 pent THAT THEY MAY believe. Matt. xxi. 32. 
 
 " If this were such a use of the term believe as is not com- 
 mon in natural things, it were no solid objection to it. The 
 common use of the term justify^ is to find a person innocent, 
 and on that ground to acquit him ; and so it stands opposed 
 to finding him guilty, and either condemning him or acquitting 
 him : but justification in the Scriptures includes forgiveness, 
 as I believe you will allow. 
 
 " I question, however, whether the common use of the term 
 believe, be not, in many cases, expressive of such a persuasion 
 as is influenced by the state of the heart, and so includes it. 
 If Mdrdecai had become a mediator for Haman, and Ahasu- 
 erus had sent a message to him, the implication of which, was> 
 that he had been the vilest of traitors, and deserved to die ; but 
 that out of pure, undeserved favour, he had, at the instance of 
 Mordecai, consented to pardon all his crimes, provided that in 
 the presence of the whole city of Shushan he would confess his 
 guilt, ask pardon in Mordecai's name, and consent to serve the 
 king all his future life, under him ; and all this not merely in 
 pretence, but cordially. — Query, Could Haman have believed 
 this message, in all its implications and bearings to be good 
 news^ while he retained his enmity ? And if he had been brought 
 to believe it to be good that he should be thus humbled, and 
 thus devote his future life, would that belief have included no 
 exercise of the heart ? 
 
 " You speak of our being ' regenerated by faithj' I know of 
 no Scripture ground for such an idea. He that believeth that 
 Jesus is the Christ is born of God ; and the same language is 
 used of him that loveth. 1 John v. 1. iv. 5. but you would not 
 say that we are regenerated by love. I allow, however, that 
 regeneration is ascribed to the ivord of God as a mean ; but I 
 apprehend that the Scriptures seldom use words in a metaphy- 
 sical, but commonly in a popular sense ; and that the phrase 
 horn agairii &c. in 1 Pet. i. 23. and James i, 18. is expressive 
 
16B MEMOIRS OF 
 
 of that ivhole change by which we become true Christians, in- 
 cluding active conversion, or turning to God through Jesus 
 Christ. If I allow the incorrufitible seed an equal influence in 
 regeneration, as the first principle of animal existence has in 
 generation, I think I allow it all that the Scriptures ascribe to it. 
 But though man is truly said to be begotten by man ; yet there 
 is an inspiration of the Abnighty^ nvhich giveth us ii/e, (Job 
 xxxiii. 4.) the breathing of him who quickeneth all things ; [and 
 who formeth the spirit of man within him, Zech. xii. 1.] and 
 which is not by means of man. I suppose there is something 
 analogous to this in regeneration, and which is alike rational 
 and scriptural, though to us alike incomprehensible. 
 
 " As to what you have quoted from Dr. Erskine, on < faith 
 having no moral efficacy towards procuring our pardon and 
 acceptance, I readily admit it ; but it does not follow that for 
 this purpose it must contain nothing holy in its nature ; for let 
 it contain what holiness it may it can have no such influence. 
 The reason why we are justified by faith rather than by hope 
 or love, is not because the one is void of all holiness, and the 
 other is not so ; but because the former bears this peculiar 
 relation to Christ, that by it we are united to him : rejecting 
 all other dependencies, it embraces him as revealed in the 
 gospel ; thus bringing the sinner to become one with him, 
 which oneness, or union^ is represented as necessary to justi- 
 fication. Rom. viii. 1. 1 Cor. i 30. Phil. iii. 9. If we were 
 justified by love, it must be on account of its moral excellency ; 
 but we may be justified by faith, though it be a moral excel- 
 lency, on another account ; in some such way as a person may 
 be entitled to an estate by marriage. The act of marriage may 
 include an acquiescence of the heart, and be a virtuous deed, 
 as opposed to a lawless attachment to former lovers : yet it 
 would not be by marriage as a virtuous deed, but as uniting the 
 wife to her husband^ that she would be interested in his estates. 
 
 « I find Mr. McLean, in a new edition of his piece on the 
 Commissio7i of Christ,, has introduced a part of the correspond- 
 ence between him and me on this subject. He has given some 
 of my words, though but few, and those not in their proper con- 
 nexion. He alleged, when in company with me, that * by sup- 
 
lyiR. FULLER. 169 
 
 posing faith to include any affection of the heart, I confounded 
 what the Scriptures distinguish ; namely, faith, hope, and char- 
 ity.* I answered, faith, hope, and charity, are doubtless distin- 
 guished, but they are not so distinct as your argument requires 
 them to be. If it were, each must contain nothing of the other. 
 Faith must have no hofie in it, any more than love ; hope also 
 must have no faith nor love in it ; and love must include neither 
 faith nor hope. But to mention only hope^ does it not include 
 desire, and does not desire include love ? He owned it did, and 
 that it was <• a modification of love.' ' Then, (I replied,) your 
 argument is lost.' He made no other answer to this, than say- 
 ing with an air of pleasantry, ' You are a younger man than I,* 
 meaning, I suppose, that I had more of an edge for dispute. 
 Such was the connexion of what he has introduced in his note, 
 p. 76, of which nothing can be made as it there stands. 
 
 " I observe also, he has given the substance of his own letter 
 to me, without noticing the answer to it, which was in his pos- 
 session. I consider the whole note as a mangled and very par- 
 tial representation of my sentiments : and the pertinacity with 
 which he maintains his objection that I confound faith and 
 charity, after it has been answered as above, affords but little 
 encouragement to hope for any thing from him deserving the 
 name of candid or brotherly discussion. 
 
 « P. S. If faith be wholly involuntary, and the mind be 
 equally passive in it, as the eye is in receiving light, (such was 
 the representation of your friend, Dr. Watt,) how is it that we 
 read as follows ? * If thou ivouldest believe,' John xi. 40. * If 
 thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believ- 
 cth.' Mark ix. 23. Did Christ mean to say, if thou canst be the 
 subject of an impression in which thou art passive and invol= 
 untary ? or, if thou canst find in thy heart to credit my all-suffi- 
 ciency ? If the former, it had been tantalizing. If the latter, it 
 tended to draw forth faith. How is it too that in answer to the 
 question. What shall we do that we may work the works of 
 God ? our Lord should say, This is the work of God, that ye 
 believe in him whom he hath sent ? 
 
 " If faith must be compared to any thing pertaining to the 
 
 eye, it is not to that impression which light makes upon it, but 
 32 
 
170 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 to the voluntary exercise of looking^ beholding the Lamb oi 
 God, which taketh away the sin of the world, and which stands 
 opposed to shutting the eyes against the truth, which is de- 
 scriptive of unbelief." f 
 
 How far this letter was satisfactory to the friend to whom 
 it was addressed, and whom I also highly esteem, I am not sure. 
 I unexpectedly met with it in Brother Fuller's journal of his 
 first visit to Scotland, and as it exactly accords with my own de- 
 cided views on the subject, I have inserted it in this place. I 
 do not wish unnecessarily to offend any person or any party of 
 Christians, but truth ought to be dearer to me than any thing 
 that can be placed in competition with it. 
 
 Mr. Fuller has added some other remarks, on the peculiari- 
 ties of our northern brethren, which I hope I may transcribe 
 without displeasing any who have been cordial friends to our 
 Missions. 
 
 " I find there are various things, besides the nature of faith, 
 wherein the Scotch and English Baptists differ ; and wherein I, 
 as one of the English Baptists, feel myself obliged to differ 
 from them. The principal of them are as follow : — 
 
 « 1. They are mostly strenuous in contending that Christ is 
 called the Son of God merely as assuming human nature ; or 
 that he was not the Son of God antecedent to his incarnation. 
 To me this appears contrary to many passages of Scripture, 
 particularly all those which speak of God*s sending' his Son 
 into the worlds which manifestly imply that he was his Son pri- 
 or to his being sent. Also those which speak of the Son of God 
 being manijestedx born of a ivomany Sec. which imply that ho 
 was the Son antecedent to such manifestation, birth, &c. 
 
 " 2. They contend that a pluralitxj of bishops is essential to 
 a regular Christian church. To me it appears that the num- 
 ber of bishops, as of deacons, is to be regulated by the large- 
 ness of the church ; and ihat w'e might as well insist on having 
 se-ven deacons as a plurality of bishops. Tbey consider the 
 term elder as synonymous with bishops ; but I think there were 
 elders in the primitive churches who did not labour in word 
 
MR. FULLER. Ifl 
 
 and doctrine. 1 Tim. v. 17. And it should seem that the seven 
 churches in Asia, had each its angel or bishop in the singular. 
 " 3. They insist on the Lord's ?upper being administered 
 <:very Jirst day of the week^ groundiuf^ it on Acts xx. 7* 
 There can be nothing wrong in commemorating the Lord's 
 death weekly ; but I see no a\ithority to make it bitiding. We 
 ought not to make laws where Christ has made none. There 
 is certainly no precept in this matter ; and as to example^ if 
 that above cited was designed to teach us, that the first clay of 
 she week was the time which we ought to follow invariably, it 
 must then be the only time, whereas it appears that this was 
 7iot the only time. The ordinance was first instituted and cele- 
 brated on a week day, by our Lord and his Apostles. And at 
 the time of Pentecost, it has the appearance of being attended 
 to daily. Acts ii. 46. Probably at the time when Paul visited 
 Troas, it was a iveekly practice ; but there is no reason to 
 make laws where Christ has not made them. 
 
 " 4. They also practise the ivaahing of feet ^ the holy kissj Sec. 
 I think the form of these things may be preserved, as it is by 
 the Pope when he is elected, while the spn-it of them is lost. 
 Neither the washing of feet, nor the kiss, were religious insti- 
 tutes ; for they existed in the world before Christianity. They 
 were expressions of kindness in those places and ages. Their 
 feet required washing, which ours do not ; and to perform 
 that for a person which is unnecessary, in order to imitate a 
 conduct which was necessary, is deviating from the spirit of 
 it, while we retain the form. 
 
 " 5. There seems to be but very little exercise o£ forbearance 
 among them. Every difference in doctrine, or even m a case of 
 discipline, seems as if it issued in a separation. There are 
 many worthy characters now in Scotland and its vicinity, who 
 stand excluded for no other reason, but that they could not ap- 
 prove of some of the proceedings of the church. If this plan 
 of discipline were universal, it would be a source of divisions 
 without end. 
 
 « 6. Their plan seems to be but little calculated to diffuse 
 the gospel ; as when ministers of other denominations join 
 them, instead of continuing them in the ministry, and encourag- 
 
172 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 ing them to go every where preaching the gospel, they are 
 generally silenced, and turn physicians, or follow some other 
 temporal calling for their support. 
 
 " There are some things, however, in which they are worthy of 
 imitation, particularly in their liberality in giving of their worldly 
 property, and in their peaceable demeanour as subjects." 
 
 Such were the principal things which struck the mind of 
 my departed Brother, when he first visited Scotland, in 1799. 
 I shall give a more brief account of his subsequent journies. 
 
 He visited that country a second time, in 1802, and gave a de- 
 tail of the chief circumstances that were worthy of notice, in a 
 series of Letters to Mrs. Fuller, from which I have made the 
 following extracts. 
 
 LETTER L 
 
 Barton'On-the-Humher^ 
 Aug. 25, 1802. 
 
 «^ At ten we arrived here. My sleep having been regular, I 
 was not weary, and am now very well. With tenderness and 
 earnest solicitude, 1 have importuned preserving mercy for my 
 dear family, and that I may visit it in due time, and not sin ! 
 
 " 25. — I begin to feel awkward : having reduced my four guin- 
 eas to four shillings, I am afraid I should be in the situation of a 
 number of small ships hereabouts at low tide, run a-ground i I 
 am thinking whether I must not take a walk before dinner, in- 
 stead of having one ! If I could but get over the water I 
 should do. 
 
 « 26. — I was detained last night till half-past six : and so strong 
 a westerly wind blew, that it was thought the hoy, or daily passage 
 boat, could not have come out ; in which case I must have staid 
 longer still. It did come however ; but a number of the pas- 
 sengers were sick through our being tossed about. There 
 were near sixty of us on board, and we arrived safely at Hull, 
 about half past seven. It was a fine sight to see the waves, each 
 as large as the roof of a small house, continually beating against 
 our vessel, while she rode triumphantly above them all. I felt 
 
MR. FULLER. 173 
 
 110 sickness, but stood above deck, having hold of a rope with 
 my hand, and gazed all the time with a kind of sublime pleas- 
 ure at the majestic sight. I had eleven-pence in my pocket 
 when 1 came into the house last night. I am to spend my Sab- 
 bath in the two Baptist churches. I have hitherto been mer- 
 cifully preserved in all respects. My mind is peaceful and 
 happy ; and my approaches to a throne of grace, at which I do 
 not forget you all, have been free and tender.*' 
 
 LETTER II. 
 
 Hull, Aug. 2^, 1802. 
 
 « I am reduced to a state of perplexity about getting to Ed- 
 inburgh. The Leith packet sails on Lord's day morning, and 
 will wait for no one. I expect I must go by coach. 
 
 " York, 3 \ . — I arrived here last night, and determined to stop 
 a day, and try what I can do among the serious Church people. 
 Here are no Dissenters, except a few Socinian Baptists. I 
 went immediately to the house of Hepworth and Crosby, who 
 for some time have subscribed to our Mission, and met with a 
 kind reception. Supped there with Mr. Overton, the author of 
 the True Churchman, who is a clergyman of this city : I believe 
 we had much mutual pleasure. I am here well known by all 
 the evangelical clergy, of whom there are three, if not more. 
 I called on another venerable old minister next morning. At 
 Hull I called on two clergymen, who readily contributed to the 
 cause, and several of their people followed their example. I 
 collected twelve guineas in York, and had a good deal of friendly 
 intercourse with these godly Episcopalians. 
 
 « I was also surprised at being informed that a filtle Bap- 
 tist church was lately formed here. I found the principal per- 
 son : they would have been glad of a sermon this evening, if 
 they had known in time. I gave them all the good counsel I 
 could : prayed with them, and returned to the company of my 
 other friends, with whom I enjoyed much free and agreeable 
 conversation. 
 
 "Edinburgh, Saturday, Sept. 4, 1802. — I came hither the 
 night before last at eleven o'clock, after riding 80 miles t© 
 
17 i MEMOIRS OF 
 
 Newcastle, taking a few hours sleep there, settin?^ off again at 
 five in the morning, riding 120 miles to Edinburgh. I bore 
 my journey very well, though I have had a slight roughness on 
 my lungs almost ever since I set off; I do not know that 
 bathing in the sea yesterday, for the first time in my life, did 
 it any harm. — I have engaged to preach twice to-morrow, for 
 Messrs. Aikman and Haldane, at the Tabernacle." 
 
 LETTER HI. 
 
 Dundee, Sefit. 15, 1802, 
 " Last week I preached twice in Edinburgh and once at Dal- 
 keith. I was not a little apprehensive that I should be laid by 
 with hoarseness; but I went through very well. On Lord's 
 day I preached twice ; in the morning to about fifteen hundred 
 people, and in the evening to about four thousand, when we had 
 a collection of yCl 30. I was not at all hurt by it. On Monday 
 morning I took leave of friends at Edinburgh, who were many 
 of them much affected at parting; and rode in company 
 with Mr. Wardlaw, (a young minister, who agrees to accom" 
 pany me my whole journey in Scotland,) and another friend in a 
 post-chaise, to this place, which is sixty-three miles. Our first 
 stage was to Queen's Ferry, where we crossed the Frith of 
 Forth, two miles wide. Breakfasted with Mr. Ebenezer Brown, 
 (son of Mr. Brown of Haddington,) at Inverkeithing. A lovely 
 family this ! Set off at eleven o'clock for Kinross, and from 
 thence to Perth by dinner. Called on Mr. Scott, a clergyman, 
 who paid me twenty guineas, which he had received for me. 
 Reached Dundee at ten. I lodge at Mr. Innes's, the minister 
 of the Tabernacle. This is a town of about 20,000 people, on 
 the Firth of Tay, near the Eastern coast. I preached last night 
 to about 1400 hearers: collected not quite twenty pounds. To- 
 day we go back to Perth, where I am to preach to-night and 
 collect, at the Tabernacle. (The places so called in Scotland, 
 are not occupied by people like our Methodists, but strict Inde- 
 pendents, connected with Mr. Haldane.) The next day I go to 
 Stirling, and thence to Glasgow. 
 
MR. FULLER. 175 
 
 " At Tealy, five miles from hence, northward, lived the fc\- 
 mous Mr. Glass. He resigned that livinEi;, and set up an Inde- 
 pendent church government, attended with all the peculiarities 
 wfiich have distinguished his followers ever since. Robert 
 Sandeman married his daughter, and entered deeply into his 
 views. Here they are called Glassites. In England they are 
 called Sandemanians. In both they are uncommonly tenacious 
 of forms, refusing to unite with other Christians in almost every 
 thing religious ; but many of them not refusing to unite with 
 wicked men at a theatre. This spirit has too much infected 
 most of the Scotch Baptists, though all by this time disavow Glass 
 and Sandeman. Wherever much of the spirit which generally 
 attends this system prevails, the consequences are very injuri- 
 ous. I am happy to rectify one mistake — David Dale of Glas- 
 gow, whom I always reckoned a Glassite, is not so. 
 
 " I am now writing in my chamber, from which I have a 
 full east view of Dundee close under me, ^nd of the Firth ot 
 Tay down to the sea : from this place it is about four or five 
 miles wide If the wind be fair, they will sail to London in 
 three or four days. Between here and Penh is a fine roman- 
 tic country, one and twenty miles, all along the side of the Tay. 
 They are now in the midst of harvest. The women reap' as 
 much as the men. The natural sterility of the soil in this coun- 
 try has stimulated agricultural improvement, which seems at a 
 greater height than in England. Our northern friends are in= 
 duced to treat Englishmen well, not only from friendship and 
 hospitahty, but from a regard to the credit of their country, 
 which some of our haughty gentry have too much depreciated. 
 They have to say> and justly, * Though you say our country is 
 sterile and poor, yet it is from hence that Smithfield is supplied 
 with beef.' " 
 
 LETTER IV. 
 
 Glasgow J Sefit. 19, 1802. 
 
 " We had a pleasant journey on Wednesday, from 
 
 Dundee to Perth. Much interesting conversation in the post- 
 
176 iMBiMOIRS OF 
 
 chaise ^vith my companions, on various subjects in divinity ; the 
 atonement of Christ, the covenant with Abraham, &c. on which 
 they sounded my sentiments. We also talked over most of the 
 points between me and Mr. McLean, and almost came together 
 in all things but infant baptism. Preached at the Independent 
 meeting to about a thousand people. Supped with a venerable 
 old Scotch clergyman, Mr. Scott, and with Mr. Willison, 
 another clergyman, about five miles off, whose company was 
 engaging. On Thursday morning the 6th, set off for Stirling, a 
 journey of nearly forty miles ; got in at six in the evening. 
 Preaching had been advertised in the papers, to be in the town 
 hall ; for here both Kirkmen and Seceders keep their pulpit doors 
 shut against all but themselves. But Mr. Campbell, a clergyman 
 from Kippen, came seven or eight miles on purpose to see me, 
 and heard me in the town hall. I believe he was the only min- 
 ister there. Mr. Smart would have been friendly, but he was 
 out. We had three or four hundred people, and collected near 
 fifteen pounds. After sermon, Mr. Campbell, who was all 
 brotherly kindness, would have me go with him to Mr. R. one 
 of the clergy, who, though he did not think it best to attend, yet 
 showed himself friendly to the cause, by giving me two or three 
 guineas. He behaved well to me, and I breakfasted with him 
 the next morning. 
 
 On Friday the 1 7th, I rose early, and went to see the town 
 and castle before breakfast. This is a most romantic situa- 
 tion : the finest spot I have seen in Scotland. Here the Scot- 
 tish kings used occasionally to reside. I suppose it was their 
 summer house. Near this is the late seat of Robert Hal- 
 dane, Esq. a seat which a Scotch nobleman has pronounced to 
 be * a perfect heaven upon earth j' but which he sold, and has 
 ever since lived in a recluse style of life, laying out thousands 
 every year for the propagation of the gospel in Scotland and 
 Ireland. ' O, (say the gentry,) he must have some deep scheme 
 in his head.* Some of the clergy cannot endure him : but he 
 has great interest with the common people. He is a great econo- 
 mist in order to be generous. He has saved /; 30,000. I am told, 
 by the advance of the funds since he bought in. Here we lef< 
 
MR. FULLER. l7f 
 
 Mr. Harvey, one of our travelling companions ; a man who is 
 made up of good sense, gentleness, and Christian simplicity. 
 
 " Mr. Wardlaw and I set off for Glasgow, twenty-seven 
 miles; this young man is a promising character. He was 
 brought up for the Burgher Secession ; but has left it for the 
 Tabernacle connexion. He has a place now building in Glas- 
 gow which will hold ten or twelve hundred people. He read 
 the hymns and prayed for me during the journey, which has 
 been one hundred and fifty miles since last Monday, and has 
 added about £70, to my stock, without impairing my health, 
 Here I found a letter from yourself, which gave, me spirits. 
 On Saturday the 18th, I called on several friends. Saw Dr. 
 Watt, who is now one of the pastors of the Scotch Baptist 
 church in this city. We had had before some sharp corres- 
 pondence, but he was now very conciliating. 
 
 " The pastor of another church, who profess to be in fel- 
 lowship with the English Baptists, brought a message from 
 them, that they would be glad to hear my faith, and if it ac- 
 corded with theirs, to have me preach, and join them at the 
 Lord's supper, I told him, he had sent their faith to me, and 
 I approved of it ; but I should make no other confession of faith 
 than that ; that I did not come to Glasgow as a candidate for 
 their pulpit, and it was indifferent to me whether I occupied it. 
 I said, I had no objection to answer him any question he thought 
 proper to ask me as a Christian ; but I had no notion of being 
 interrogated as a condition of preaching, Sec. At near eleven 
 a deacon came with their decision, that if I would not make a 
 confession, they could not admit me. < Very well, then I shall 
 go to tfie Tabernacle, and consider your conduct as a renuncia- 
 tion of connexion with us as English churches, for it implies 
 you have no confidence in us.' He said, it was all owing to 
 two or three, and that the church in general wished it to be 
 otherwise^ I heard at Tabernacle in the morning, notice was 
 given that I should preach in the afternoon and evening The 
 Baptists repented, but it was too late. I preached in the after- 
 noon to four thousand people, in the evening to near five thou- 
 sand. Collected >C200. I have a litUe head-achej but ray 
 voice is not hurt." 
 23 
 
ITS MEMOIRS Ob' 
 
 LETTER V. 
 
 Liverpool, Sept. 25, 1802. 
 
 " I have just arrived here, and found yours, after a long and 
 tedious journey of two hundred and twenty-five miles, in which 
 I put off my clothes only for two hours since Thursday morn- 
 ing. 
 
 " On Monday, Sept. 20, I was seized at Glasgow, with vio- 
 lent sickness and vomiting of bile, and kept my bed till three 
 in the afternoon. While in bed, I was visited by Mr. L. and 
 the deacons of the Baptist church ; I learnt that the refusal of 
 their pulpit was against the will of the church, except two 
 members ; that the church at P. with which they are in connex- 
 ion, had sent deputies to oppose my being admitted to preach 
 and commune with them, and these with the two members car- 
 ried their point ; but on Lord's day noon the church were so 
 hurt at my being refused, that they resolved to invite me, &c. 
 The two deacons were deputed to request that I would look 
 over the affair of Lord's day, and consider them as one with us. 
 Accordingly I preached there in the evening, and collected ,C45* 
 after about £200. had been collected on Lord's day. Tuesday 
 morning, set off in a chaise for Greenock : preached and col- 
 lected ,G 33. Wednesday returned and preached at Paisley; 
 have not yet received their collections, but suppose it may be 
 about £A0. I found myself getting better daily, though travel- 
 ling and preaching. 
 
 « On Thursday morning I met with all the members of the 
 Baptist cliurch, who appear to be a simple-hearted people, and 
 regret my not preaching and communing with them. They 
 wished for a connexion with the English churches. I told 
 them that the distance was such that our connexion could an- 
 swer but few ends. We might once in a while hear from each 
 other, might pray for one another, and if the minister or mem- 
 bers of either came to the other, they might be admitted to com- 
 munion ; but that was all. They assented to this. I then told 
 them, that I had heard of the Baptists in Scotland being negli- 
 gent of free preaching to the unconverted, and of family re- 
 ligion. Whether this charge was true or not, I could not tell : 
 but I earnestly exiiorted them to mak© it evidently appear, that 
 
MR. FULLER. 179 
 
 they were far more anxious that those around them should be- 
 come Christians, than that they sliould embrace our opinion as 
 to baptism ; if sinners were converted to God among them, and 
 made Christians, they would probably be Baptists also of their 
 own accord : but I reminded them, that if family religion was 
 neglected, Paedobaptists would be furnished with the most 
 weighty objection against our sentiments as Baptists, &c. &c. 
 
 " They seemed to receive what 1 said m love, and to approve 
 of it. I prayed with them, and so parted. 
 
 "Thursday noon, Stpt 23, 1802.— Being disappointed of a 
 place in the mail, 1 ordered a post-chaise, and advertised for a 
 partner to Liverpool. A Jew wanted to go thither, and we 
 took a post-chaise together. He proved an intelligent, but 
 rather profane man. We had much talk on Christianity, and 
 sometimes I thought him somewhat impressed. We had 
 scarcely got out of Glasgow, before he observed sometliing of 
 the dissatisfaction v/e found in all our enjoyments. I acqui- 
 esced, and suggested that there must be some defect in the 
 object, and thence inferred a future state. He did not seem free 
 to pursue the subject ; but said, * I am a Jew, and I consider 
 you as a Christian divine : I wish to do every thing to accom- 
 modate you during the journey.' I thanked him, and said I 
 wished to do the same towards him in return. I presently found? 
 however, that he was a Sadducee, holding with only the Five 
 Books of Moses, and those very loosely ; suggesting of Moses, 
 that though he was a great and good man in his day, yet it was his 
 opinion there had been much more learned men since. He also 
 began < accommodating' me with curses and oaths on the most 
 trifling occasions. Finding I had a compound of infidelity and 
 profligacy to contend with, and about a fifty-hours' journey be- 
 fore me, in which I should be cooped up with him night and 
 day, I did not oppose him much at first ; but let him go on, 
 waiting for fit occasions. I asked for a proof of Moses* igno- 
 rance. Jew. ' He spoke of the earth as stationary, and the sun 
 as rising and setting.' F. < And do not those that you call 
 learned men speak the same, in their ordinary conversation ?* 
 J. « To be sure they do.* F. ' They could not be understood, 
 nor understand themselves, could they, if they were to speak 
 
180 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 of the earth's rising and setting ?' J. ' True.* After a while 
 he praised the ten commandments. I acquiesced, and added, 
 « I have been not a little hurt. Sir, in observing since we have 
 been together, how lightly you treat one of them. Thou shall 
 not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain I* J. ' I must 
 own that is a bad habit : I have been told of it before.' We 
 had no more swearing. 
 
 " He talked after this of the 7nerit of good works : and told 
 me, at my request, much about their worship and ceremonies ; 
 particularly their great day of atonement^ which he said was 
 very impressive. F. ' Do you offer sacrifices V J. < No : not 
 since the destruction of the temple, except it be a fowl or so, 
 just as a representation of what has been.' F. ' And do you 
 really think that the blood of any animal, or any of those cere- 
 monies, can take away sin ?' »/. * If you deny that, you deny 
 the laws of Moses.' F. ' No : the sacrifices of Moses were 
 not designed to take away sin, but to prefigure a greater sac- 
 rifice.' He paused. I added, ' Sir, you are a sinner, and I am 
 a sinner: we must both shortly appear before God. I know not 
 upon what you rest your hopes. You have talked of human 
 merit. I have nothing of the kind on which to place my trust. 
 I believe we have all merited the displeasure of our Creator, and 
 if dealt with according to our deserts, must perish for ever. 
 Sir, if our sins be not atoned for by a greater sacrifice than any 
 that were offered under the law of Moses, we are undone.' He 
 seemed impressed by this, and owned that according to theii* 
 law, and confessions on the day of atonement, they were all 
 sinners, and that their good works could not save them. I then 
 endeavoured to point him to Christ as the only hope : but he 
 began to make objections to his conception by the power of the 
 Holy Spirit. F. ' That was no more impossible than God's 
 making the first man and woman.' J. * True, but God having 
 made these, the rest are born by ordinary generation.' F. 
 * You might as well say, that God having given the sea its 
 laws, it moves in future according to them ; and therefore the 
 Red Sea, could not have been divided. Your argument goes 
 to deny all miracles.' J. * We think charitably of you, but you 
 ??o not of us.' F. « How can vou think well of us, when you 
 
MR. FULLER. 181 
 
 consider us as deluded by an impostor ?' J. < We think well 
 of all that do good.' F. ' So do we. — But what a singular im- 
 postor must Jesus have been if he was one ! Did you ever know 
 or read of such a one, either as to doctrine or manners ?* J. 
 * Who wrote the life of Jesus V F. « Matthew, Mark, Luke, 
 and John.' — J. ' Very well, were not they his disciples, and 
 therefore partial to him ?' F. < You might as well object to all 
 the books of the Old Testament : they were not written by ad- 
 versaries J. ^ Ah, he should have come down from 
 
 the cross, and then all would have believed on him !' F. <-\i 
 evidence had been the thing that was wanted, why did not the 
 resurrection of Lazarus satisfy them ?' — J. ' That was a doubt- 
 ful matter. I reckon Jesus was a learned man ; Lazarus might 
 not be dead, but only apparently so ; and he might make an 
 experiment upon hini, as many have done since, and restored 
 suspended animation.' F. * Did you ever read the New Testa- 
 ment V J. ^ Yes, I read it when a boy of eight years old.' F. 
 ' And not since V J. ' No.* F, ' What then can you know 
 about it ? you only take up the objections of your Rabbles 
 (whom he had a little before acknowledged to be many of them 
 no better than learned knaves,) if you had read and considered 
 the history of the resurrection of Lazarus, you could not object 
 as you do.* 
 
 *' After this, I asked him what he thought of firoiihecy ? 
 < Prophecy ! (said he,) I have often when a boy, looked at the 
 clouds, and seen in them horses and chariots, and I know not 
 what 1* i^. * I understand you ; but it is strange that imagina- 
 tion should find in the prophecies the substance of all succeed- 
 ing history. Were not all the great empires that have been in 
 the world, from the times of Daniel to this day ; namely, the 
 Babylonian, the Persian, Grecian, and Roman, with their va- 
 rious subdivisions, clearly foretold by him ?* He would make 
 no answer to this, but treated it all as fable. < They talk, (said 
 he,) of our being restored to the Promised Land. 1 will tell 
 you the whole mystery of it Those of us who have plenty, 
 wish for no other promised land : but those that are poor would 
 be glad enough to better their condition 1* 
 
182 MEMOIRS OP 
 
 " He complained of the fiersecutions that the Jews had un- 
 dergone from Christians. I disavowed all siicb treatment, as 
 the conduct of wicked men. 'But, (said he,) you have been, 
 even in this war, fighting for your religion.* I answered, 
 * Those who profess to fight for religion, fight for the want of 
 it ; and Christianity employs none but spiritual weapons.' I 
 also assured him, that real Christians felt a tender regard towards 
 them, and loved them for their fathers' sake. * Yes, (said he, 
 sneeringly,) the good people at Glasgow pray every Sunday for 
 our conversion !' I answered, ' Very likely: it is what I have 
 often done myself.' 
 
 <* When we got to Liverpool, he requested that when I came 
 to London I would call and see him. I told him I would on 
 one condition, which was, that he would permit me to present 
 him with a New Testament, and promi'se to read it carefully. 
 He consented ; but that he might put far from him the evil day, 
 proposed, that if, when I called to see him, 1 would bring one 
 with me, he would read it. I saw no more of him : but meet- 
 ing with a Gospel its own Witness^ in Liverpool, in which is 
 an address to the Jews, I wrapt it up in paper, and sent it to 
 him at his inn ; having written withinside as follows : ' A small 
 token of respect from the author, to Mr. D. L. A. for his friendly 
 attentions to him on a journey from Glasgow to Liverpool, Sept. 
 23,24,25, 1802.' 
 
 « After all, in reflecting upon it, I felt guilty in having said 
 so little to purpose ; and was persuaded, that if I had been more 
 spiritually-minded, I should have recommended my Lord and 
 Saviour better than I did. 
 
 « In riding from Manchester to Harborough, in the mail, I 
 found myself in very profane company, I therefore for the 
 greater part of the journey composed myself as if asleep. Near 
 Loughborough two gentlemen followed us in a post-chaise, one 
 of them wishing to take my place when v/e got to Harborough. 
 We dined at Leicester, and the gentleman being in the inn yard, 
 I went to him and offered him my place from Leicester, pro- 
 posing to ride on the outside as far as Harborough. He thanked 
 me ; but declined it. He added, ' I think I have seen you Sir, 
 before.' He dined with us ; and while at dinner, seeing my 
 
MR. FULLER. 183 
 
 portmanteau marked A. F. K. he asked me, before our compa- 
 ny, if my name was not Fuller ? I told him it was. He then 
 thanked me, not only for my kind offer of my place, but for a 
 late publication, which he had read with unusual satisfaction. I 
 made but little answer, only inquiring his name, which I found 
 to be Lee, of the old Jewry, a hearer of Mr. Newton. As soon 
 as we had got into the coach, (Mr. Lee was not with us, but fol- 
 lowed in a post-chaise,) my former swearing companions were 
 all mute, and continued so for the greater part of the journey. 
 One of them, however, who had been more civil and sober 
 than the rest, addressed himself to me. ' I perceive Sir, (said 
 he,) by what vvas said at dinner, that you are an author. Will 
 you excuse me if I ask what it is that you have published ?' I 
 told him I was a Christian minister, and had published a piece 
 in defence of Christianity. He expressed a wish to see it. He 
 then talked to me as one would talk to a literary man, on the 
 English language, composition, &c. I asked him, if he was an 
 Englishman? He answered, 'No, I am a Prussian.' He in- 
 quired if I had Junius's Letters I I told him I had heard pretty 
 much of them, but had not read them, as they were not partic- 
 ularly in my way. * O, (said he,) you must read them by all 
 means, I will send you a copy of them.' I thanked him, and as 
 he had expressed a wish to see what I had written, we would if 
 agreeable to him make an exchange. To this he agreed, and 
 we exchanged addresses. His was Count D. at the Prussian 
 Ambassador's, London. Fn.ding him to be one of the Prussian 
 Ambassador's suite, I asked him many questions about the civil 
 and ecclesiastical affairs of Prussia. Respecting the former he 
 said, ' What advantages we had by the law, they had in a good 
 measure by custom : that though the king's will was law ; yet 
 custom so swayed it as to be very little oppressive. He men- 
 tioned the king's having a desire for a poor man's field, that lay 
 near his ; that the owner was unwilling, and the matter was re- 
 ferred to the College ot Justice, who advised the king not to 
 insist upon it, and he did not. He spoke of religious matters as 
 attended with toleration. The Mennonites. who I suppose arc 
 Baptists, he described as enthusiasts, much like the Quakers. 
 .w,ho have no regular clergymen, but any of them get up arit^ 
 
184 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 Speak, as they feel themselves inspired. How far his account 
 is to be depended upon, I cannot tell. On parting with my 
 company, I came home, and found all well. Thanks, as dear 
 Brother Pearce said after his journey to Ireland, thanks to the 
 Preserver of men I'* 
 
 Mr. Fuller visited Scotland a third time in 1805, and wrote 
 from Lincoln, June 1 9th, where he preached, and had a collec- 
 tion for the Mission. " I have been up to the top of the cathe- 
 dral. It was 338 steps, and the height of the hill on which it 
 stands above the level, is perhaps equal to the height of the 
 building. Boston tower, 35 miles off, seemed near. 
 
 " Hull, June 21.— I got hither yesterday : was two hours in 
 crossing the Humber. My health is good : have collected this 
 morning nearly sixty pounds." 
 
 *' Scarborough, June 26. — Hull and Cottingham collections 
 amount to upwards of iCl50. The weather has been very 
 trying to my lungs ; my cold has rather increased. I have been 
 sometimes dissolved in a manner, in perspiration, and sometimes 
 cut up with a northeast wind, as the case was yesterday, in 
 riding hither in an open chaise. After collecting here to-day, 
 and preaching at night for Mr. Hague, the venerable Baptist 
 minister, 1 hope to set off for York, and get into the mail for 
 Edinburgh. I have enjoyed much peace and calmness of mind 
 in my work. Sometimes preaching has been pleasant, and 
 private prayer, in which my dear family and Christian friends 
 are always remembered." 
 
 "Dundee, Thursday, June 11, 1805. — I left Edinburgh on 
 Tuesday morning. Preached at the Burgher meeting : col- 
 lected about /C26. there, and a Baptist church in the town made 
 it up /;31. On Wednesday morning, called on Mr. Ebenezer 
 Brown, at Inverkeithing : dined at Burnt Island, on the Frith 
 of Forth; preached in a Burgher meeting in Kiikaldy, where 
 they collected ^40. These were most friendly people. Dr. 
 Fleming, the minister of the church, joined with all the other 
 clergymen in his neighbourhood, and all the Seceders and 
 Scotch Baptists, in exerting themselves to the utmost. This 
 morning we went to Cupar to breakfast; having come twelve 
 
MR. FULLER. 185 
 
 miles on our way last night, after nine o'clock. Here we were 
 in company with a warm Sandemanian. I was silent. Dr. S. 
 and he talked. We crossed the Tay, which is here one or two 
 miles over, and came to Dundee, where I am to preach to- 
 night. 
 
 " While I was at Edinburgh I called on Mr. M'Lean, and sat 
 an hour with him. W^e had much explanation, in a very friendly 
 way. They make a collection for us next Lord's day. They 
 said I should do but little this time : but if it do not amount to 
 as much or more than heretofore, I am mistaken. Mr. Hal- 
 dane's are proposing to send out three Missionaries of their 
 own, and I told his people I hoped they would give nothing 
 which would interfere with their own undertaking ; yet our col- 
 lection on Lord's day was upwards of £\26. If the people will 
 give, how can I help it ?" 
 
 " Aberdeen, July 14, 1805. — On Thursday night, after preach- 
 ing at Dundee to about 2000 people, my strength so failed that 
 I was obliged to leave all the company immediately, and go to 
 bed. I had a sore throat, which Dr. Stuart, my kind com- 
 panion in travels, treated plentifully with hartshorn. Next 
 morning, after a good night's rest, I was nearly well. We 
 travelled on Friday about 35 miles to Montrose, where I preach- 
 ed whh ease, having nearly lost my sore throat and cold. Yes- 
 terday we travelled about 36 miles, and got here about six in 
 the evening. I was engaged till ten in waiting on the ministers, 
 Professors, Ecc. I am to preach at one place in the afternoon, 
 and in the evening at another. Here is a little company of 
 Baptists, who beg I would be with them in the morning. This 
 city contains about 26,000 people. Professor Kidd, and Pro- 
 fessor Bentley, who called to see me when I was ill in 1801, 
 are very cordial ; and so is Mr. Doig, a clergyman. When 
 the day is over I will add a little more. I feel better this 
 morning than when I set out ; so good has the Lord been in 
 proportioning my strength to such a series of labour, as made 
 me almost despair to look at them. I have also to be very 
 thankful that in all places I have met with nothing but kind- 
 ness. I have been able to heal some differences ; and to suc- 
 ceed in collecting beyond all expectation. Hitherto the t©rd 
 24 
 
im 
 
 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 hath helped, and I hope he has preserved my dear family and 
 Christian friends. On Monday I spent the forenoon with some 
 Baptist friends : in the afternoon and evening preached and 
 collected at the Independent places. This morning at six, I 
 baptized three persons ; 1 am to go forty miles and preach at 
 Brechin to-night. 
 
 "Perth, July 15, 1805.— I am considerably better in health 
 than when I set out. Riding yesterday through a charming 
 part of the country, with Dr. and Miss S. we could not help 
 wishing much for your company. I travel about forty miles a 
 day, and preach and collect every night." 
 
 [The next letter is wanting.] 
 
 « Lancaster, Aug. 1, 1805. — The last letter I wrote you was 
 from Glasgow, Tuesday July 23. Since then I have preached 
 and collected at Paisley, Greenock, Saltcoats, Kilmarnock, 
 Killwinning, Ayr, and Dumfries. I am now on my way to Liv- 
 erpool. I have not been in bed till to-night, since Lord*s day 
 night at Irvine in Scotland, I have felt my strength and spirits 
 much exhausted, yet hitherto the Lord hath helped, and my 
 health is good. 1 feel not a little pleasure in drawing near 
 home. I shall be at Mr. W. Hope's, Liverpool ; at Mr. Robt. 
 Speare's, Manchester ; at the Yorkshire annual meeting per- 
 haps, at Leeds, on Wednesday, Aug. 7 ; at Ewood Hall on 
 Thursday ; and if I do not stop at Cosely, shall be at Kettering 
 on Saturday." 
 
 From Liverpool he wrote thus to Dr. Stuart " The remem- 
 brance of your kindness and of all that passed between us, oc- 
 cupies much of my time when alone ; but that I have not 
 been since between Ayr and Cumnack. I know not how to ex- 
 press my obligations. The pleasure of the journey will not 
 soon be forgotten ; but the heavy tax on your friendship takes 
 from it, and must furnish an objection to its being repeated. 
 On Lord's day morning, I am to preach for Mr. Davis ; after- 
 noon, for Mr. Lister ; evening, for Mr. Davis, when both congre- 
 gations are to be united. 
 
 " Aug. 5. — Your estimation of my company, preaching, &c. 
 Taust be placed to the account of the partiality of friendship. 
 
MR. FULLER. 1)67 
 
 I have upon the whole, enjoyed a greater share of happiness 
 and brotherly kindness in Scotland, than perhaps I ever did be- 
 fore ; no small part of which was from my companions in travel. 
 If I have sometimes been a little severe on the Northern heresy, 
 1 am somewhat more at rest about it, in that it was principally 
 confined to our travelling conversations ; that is, it was between 
 ourselves. My language is, as you know, often too strong ; 
 though whether it was so when pointed against the heresy in 
 question, I do not know. I collected ^85. here, on Friday and 
 Saturday. Last night there was a public collection, but I have 
 not learnt the amount. This forenoon I set off for Manchester. 
 The amount at Liverpool is >C 132, which is jC50. more than last 
 time." 
 
 His fourth journey was in 1808. On September the SOth, 
 he writes from Brigg, twelve miles south of Barton. He had 
 travelled sixty miles on Wednesday, and preached for Mr. 
 Nichols, at Long Collin^ham, who went with him on Thurs- 
 day to Lincoln ^ whence he went on to Brigg, in a chaise, with 
 two gentlemen, the mail being full. Here he met with a friend 
 from Hull, in conversation with whom, about the continent, 
 which he visited some years since, on account of trade, *^ I 
 learned, (says Mr. F.) something of the righteous acts of the 
 Lord. His visit was in 1803, when there was peace. At that 
 time he said the Hamburghers had a good stroke of trade, in 
 common with their neighbours ; but having been used to the 
 priviit ge of neutrality in all wars, at which time they engrossed 
 nearly all the trade to themselves, they were not satisfied. 
 Their language then was, * Let us have a good war, and then 
 we shall have the trade of the world.* They have had a war, 
 and it has proved their ruin ! But what a picture or sketch 
 does it give of human nature ! Selfishness is a gulf that swal- 
 lows up every feeling of equity and mercy. And what a change 
 is left for the gospel to produce in christianized Europe. 
 
 " At the last stage between Lincoln and this place, I took up 
 a book to read. It was a Life of Oliver Cromnvell. The au- 
 thor would not believe that he was such a fool as to believe any 
 thing about regeneration and grace ; but supposed that all he 
 
188 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 said about these things was only talking to people in their own 
 way : ' for, (said he,) Cromwell was well educated, and read 
 much !' Another sketch of human nature as depraved. O, 
 my dear, what a blessed thing it is for us to have been delivered 
 from these delusions, and taught to know the only true God 
 and Jesus Christ, whom he has sent. God be thanked that 
 we were servants of sin, but we have obeyed from the heart 
 that form of doctrine into which we were delivered. 
 
 " Barton, near twelve at noon. — I have got to preach to 
 night at Hull ; but shall not be able to sail till between three 
 and four. Here is a Prussian in the room, who speaks broken 
 English. F. ' What countryman ?* P. ' A Prussian.' F* 
 < Why — are we not at war ?' P. ' O no : no Prussian like war 
 with England : it is all force.* Thus they come and trade, in 
 spite of Buonaparte and his decrees. 
 
 "Hull, Oct. 1 — Arrived here last night at six : at seven 
 preached and collected. On going to my lodgings, a pamphlet 
 was put into my hands, which I found to be a Socinian Maga- 
 zine, containing a letter addressed to me, by a minister of that 
 stamp, who resides in this town : it is full of pretty heavy 
 charges, but concludes with the offer of his mite to our treas- 
 ury^ if called upon. So I waited upon him this morning, partly 
 to receive his mite, and partly to justify myself from his charges. 
 I took two friends with me, and came away with a whole skin, 
 and a guinea for the Mission. Monday. — Have had a good 
 night, after the labours of yesterday, when I preached at three 
 places. Trade is very flat ; so that if I get ^100. it will be as 
 much as I expect. — This I have got, and have taken my place 
 to go to York to-morrow morning." 
 
 « Alnwick, Oct. 6, 1808. — I have not been able to touch pen 
 or paper since I left Hull. On Tuesday, at twelve o'clock, I 
 reached York. I had consented to preach there, in the Baptist 
 place, and they circulated printed handbills, to give information. 
 I suppose we had near 1000 hearers. After sermon, being re-r 
 quested, I administered the Lord's supper ; many churchmen 
 stayed as spectators. At twelve o'clock that night 1 set off for 
 Newcastle, where I arrived the next day at noon, and preached 
 in the evening, when ^28. was collected for the Translation. 
 
MR. FCJLLER. 189 
 
 Set off at five in the morning for Alnwick, and arrived here 
 by ten. 
 
 " I was told at Hull, that they had been informed that we 
 wished for an annual meeting for the Mission in London, but 
 that Mr. Booth opposed it. Whereas the facf is, that the pro- 
 posal did not originate with us ; and when I found it opposed by 
 some, I dissuaded others from insisting on it. And as to Mr. 
 Booth, though it is true he was not for the meeting, yet it was 
 for this reason : lest the opulent friends there should by degrees 
 assume the power, which, he said, he thought was as well em- 
 ployed where it was. 
 
 " I feel weary of the last three days work, in which I have 
 travelled one hundred and fifty miles, and preached every night J 
 yet I am quite well. I collected about jC30. this evening. 
 
 " I arrived at Berwick about Jwo o'clock : preached in a Re- 
 lief meeting, (Mr. Thompson's,) and collected about ^20. Af- 
 ter supper took the mail for Edinburgh, where I arrived at 
 six on Saturday morning. To-day I have waited on almost all 
 the ministers of my acquaintance. I preach to-morrow for Mr. 
 Anderson in the morning, and Mr. Aikman in the evening. The 
 Memoir of the Translations has made a strong impression. Dr. 
 Stuart has reprinted it. I have collected about /(^SOO. in Eng- 
 land and < our town of Berwick-upon-Tweed.* My week is 
 about filled for dining and preaching. My work opens on 
 every hand. I must go, I believe, to Aberdeen j but I am well, 
 and shall, I trust, be carried through." 
 
 " Edinburgh, Oct. 14, 1808. — This has been a week of great 
 labour and fatigue, attended with no end of visiting. On Tues- 
 day forenoon I attended the ordination of Mr. Innes, over a 
 part of James Haldane's people, who meet in Bernard's 
 Rooms. Mr. Ewing of Glasgow, and Mr. Aikman preached. 
 In the evening I preached at Dalkeith. On Wednesday, at 
 twelve o'clock, I preached at the Magdalene Asylum, where 
 a number of females were concealed behind a curtain. I felt 
 much on the occasion. I went to dine with Mr. James Hal- 
 dane, and in the evening preached for him. A change has 
 taken place, which reminded me of that mentioned in 1 Kings 
 SLiv. 26, 27. when the shields of gold were exchanged foy 
 
190 MEMOfRS OP 
 
 shields of brass. But I shall say nothing yet After 
 
 shoMdng him a little more kindness, I intend to tell him all 
 my heart. Yesterday Mr. Robert Haldane has sent to invite 
 me to dine with him, with which I shall comply. My concern 
 is to be kind to all parties in order to do them good. This 
 evening I heard Mr. Anderson at his place ; many came ex- 
 pecting to hear me, but I had a head-ache all day, and there- 
 fore declined it. Here I saw Mr. James Haldane, and walked 
 home with him, and told him all my heart ; entreating him te 
 consider, that he was fallible ; that he had been as positive about 
 Pgedobaptism, as he now was about exhortation, discipline, and 
 the kiss ; that I strongly suspect that it was one of Satan's de- 
 vices to draw his attention to these little things, (like the tub 
 which they throw out for the whale,) to divert him from attack- 
 ing his kingdom, &c. He took all well. I should have men- 
 tioned that I preached to-day, at twelve o'clock, at a Burgher 
 meeting, (Mr. Hall's) and collected /; 65. 13*. lie?. 
 
 " Friday, Oct. 14. — Last night I was very ill with a cold, 
 bathed my feet in warm water, shut myself up this morning, 
 which is snowy, wet, and cold, declining all visits and company, 
 and nursing myself as well as I can. 
 
 " Lord's day, Oct- 16. — When 1 wrote the above I was not 
 without apprehension that I should be stopped in my progress 
 by illness. I was under Dr Stuart's directions all the forenoon ; 
 but dreaded what I had to do in the afternoon — in a cold rainy 
 day, to go to Haddington, sixteen miles, and preach in the even- 
 ing. But going in a post-chaise I took no harm, and am now 
 nearly well. Yesterday I dined with Mr. R. Haldane. His 
 brother James was with us. We had only general talk about 
 the Mission, but when I came away James walked with me> 
 and we had much more talk, in which I pleaded for the course 
 in which he once walked. He is desirous of more conversa- 
 tion. I never was so hurried in Edinburgh before. The col- 
 lections amount already in Scotland to near /;200. I have yet 
 to collect at Mr. Anderson's this afternoon, at Mr. Aikman's 
 in the evening, and on Tuesday at a Burgher meeting. A col- 
 lection will also be made at the Tabernacle, but it will be by 
 ihemselves as a churchy judging it unlawful, it seems, to * tak^ 
 
MR. FULLSR. 191 
 
 iny thing of the Gentiles/ which passage I should understand 
 ©f new converts from heathenism ; but they, it seems, apply it 
 to their own unconverted hearers. Besides them, Mr. M'Lean's 
 people will probably raise £50. or ^60. in their own way, 
 
 " Monday, Oct. 17. — A great day *s work yesterday. Preached 
 for Mr. Innes to 800, at Mr. Anderson's to 500, at Mr. Aik- 
 man's to about 1,800. Collected in the day above >G200. I am 
 much better than could be expected, only my voice a little 
 rough." 
 
 Dr. Stuart, who wrote a few lines to Mrs. Fuller in this let- 
 ter, observes, " Differing from one another, all Christians agree 
 in helping this cause.'* 
 
 «* Edinburgh, Oct. 18, 1808. — It is truly astonishing to see 
 the effects produced by the Memoir, of which Dr. Stuart had 
 printed a new edition of a thousand before I arrived. Mr. J. 
 Haldane, with whom I have had two or three debates, but in 
 vain, gave me their collection, which was ;(;200. Nearly ^100. 
 more was collected on Lord's day evening, at Mr. Aikman's, 
 and ,G40. the same day, at Mr. Anderson's, This evening I 
 preach for Mr. Lothian, a Burgher Seceder. To-morrow 
 morning I go for the north. May the Lord give me strength 
 for the work. Think upon me, O my God, for good I I am 
 concerned to hear of my dear Brother SutclifF's affliction. This 
 family desire their love to him. I think my visit has raised their 
 spirits. The Dr. has been so blessedly busy, that he has had no 
 lime to pore over other things. He fears his depression will re- 
 turn when I am gone. I feel a great deal better than I was.'' 
 
 « Aberdeen, Oct. 22, 1808. — It is some satisfaction that I am 
 novy at the farthest distance, and all my future movements will 
 be towards home. I left Edinburgh on Wednesday, with Mr. 
 Anderson, who accompanies me. I preached that night at 
 Perth, next evening at Dundee. Got here this morning in good 
 health. Drank tea with a large circle of religious friends. We 
 slept at Dundee, at the house of a very agreeable clergyman, a 
 Mr. Thompson ; and preached at a Burgher meeting to a 
 crowded house. In all places in Scotland, hitherto, the collec- 
 
19'2 AlKMOIRS OF 
 
 tions have considerably exceeded any thing heretofore ; and 
 though I have plainly and freely remonstrated to Mr. Haldane 
 against his late measures, yet we met and parted kindly ; and as 
 to all others, I have met with nothing but the most affectionate 
 treatment. I am to preach three times to-morrow, in three dif- 
 ferent places, coUectmg at each. 
 
 " Tuesday morning. — After preaching at Aberdeen on Lord's 
 day, and collecting between /;80. and >C90. we set off yesterday 
 morning, and returned to Dundee, by ten o'clock, posting sixty- 
 eight miles. I am very weary, and have a sick head-ache. 
 We shall cross the Tay in about an hour, and go on to Kirkal- 
 dy, where I am to preach this evening. To-morrow I shall 
 have to preach twice ; namely, at Inverkeithing, for good Eben. 
 ezer Brown ; and at Dunfermline, for Messrs. Husband and 
 M'Farlane, at Ralph Erskine's place. 
 
 ''Glasgow, Friday, Oct. 28. — We have had a terrible wet and 
 stormy week. We crossed the Tay amidst wind and rain, and 
 the fears of good Dr. S. and others for us ; but we were all safe, 
 and reached Kirkaldy, though not till after the people were as- 
 sembled. All day on Wednesday it blew almost a tempest) 
 but I got comfortably through my work of preaching, at Inver- 
 keithing, and at Dunfermline to upwards of 2000 people. Yes- 
 terday morning the wind abated ; I crossed the Forth in safety, 
 and reached this place very well. It is surprising how God 
 hath prospered my way." 
 
 " Glasgow, Oct. 31, 1808. — I preached on Friday evening to 
 about 1000 people, when they began their collections. Yester- 
 day I preached at Mr. Wardlaw's in the morning, and in the 
 evening for Mr. Ewing, resting in the afternoon. The collec- 
 tion at the former place was /C 140. at the latter/; 163. About 
 4000 people were out in the evening, who all heard distinctly. 
 The interest, affection, and liberality of the people here is over- 
 whelming. They want a promise to come every two years. I 
 have not given it however. To-night I preach at Paisley, and 
 then return hither, where I am to preach three more sermons 
 among the Seceders, and the church. They have got me a 
 Chapel of Ease, which belongs to the Kirk, for Wednesday 
 evening. It is very large, though not equal to Mr. Ewing's- 
 
MR. FULLER. 193 
 
 « Glasgow, Wednesday, Nov. 2. — Yesterday I returned from 
 Paisley, where on Monday evening they collected ;(; 11 4. Last 
 night I preached here, and had a smaller collection at a Burgh- 
 er meeting, of between /;30. and ^40. To-day I visit all among 
 the Church of Scotland, and preach at the Chapel of Ease at 
 night. My health is pretty good." 
 
 Mr. Fuller's Jijth and last journey to Scotland was in 1813. 
 "Carlisle, July 1, 1813. — On Monday, June the 28th, I 
 reached Nottingham, and then rode outside to Chesterfield, and 
 then within the coach for forty miles, to Leeds, where I ar- 
 rived at five in the morning, went to bed and slept well for three 
 or four hours. 
 
 " Tuesday, 29. — i\fter calling on a fevv^ friends in Leeds, set 
 off for Bradford, by way of Fulneck, where I stopped an hour. 
 Saw two German Missionaries, waiting to go out. Mr. Ramft- 
 ler, late of Bedford, is the presiding minister. On reaching 
 Bradford, I expected Mr. Steadman would have been ready to 
 go with me ; but found he was not expected till next evening, 
 from London. I consented to give them a sermon, and deter- 
 mined to set off though alone, next morning. 
 
 " Wednesday, June 30. — Took coach from Bradford to Ken- 
 dal, sixty-six miles : passed through a dreary part of Yorkshire, 
 by Keighley, Shipton, and Settle : about fourteen miles beyond 
 we entered Westmoreland, and proceeded to Kendal, where we 
 arrived about nine, glad during so wet a day to have been with- 
 inside. After tea, I found out Mr. Key, a Baptist minister, who 
 with his wife appear very serious, godly, and intelligent people= 
 I much enjoyed half an hour with them. The good woman 
 seemed hardly to believe that I could be the Mr. Fuller that had 
 written so many books ? Bespoke a place in the mail, but found 
 it full when it came in at four o'clock on Thursday morning 
 July 1. So I ventured to go on the outside, but by six it began 
 to rain, and never ceased till we got to Carlisle, about twelve 
 A miserable journey over the bleak Westmoreland and Cum- 
 berland mountains ; many of which had their tops enveloped in 
 the clouds. The wind and rain beat all the way in my face, 
 but the guard lending me his umbrella, I was not wet through. 
 25 
 
194 MEMOIRS OP 
 
 I have taken a place for Dumfries, on condition I can go with- 
 inside ; if not I shall stay till to-morrow. I have hardly been 
 so uncomfortably cold as to day, since I crossed these uncom- 
 fortable moors five years ago, in my wzy home from Scotland. 
 If I escape taking cold, I hope to make two uses of it, [1.] 
 Of encouragement, as it will be an indication of my being less 
 susceptible of cold than heretofore. [2.] Of caution, not to ven- 
 ture riding on the outside again during the journey, at least 
 while the weather is so uncertain. 
 
 *» Dumfries, Friday, July 2, 1813. — I got an inside place yes- 
 terday, and reached this place comfortably at nine; the distance 
 is forty miles ; put my feet in warm water before going to bed, 
 and had a good night. I feel somewhat affected on my lungs, 
 but hope it will go off. I have very comfortable accommoda- 
 tions at Mr. Barry's, an opulent farmer. He is an Independent, 
 and his wife a Baptist. They are godly people. I shall stay- 
 here over Lord's day." 
 
 « Greenock, July 10, 1813. — On Lord's day. Brethren Stead- 
 man and Barclay met me at Dumfries, and we had a pleasant 
 day. On Monday we all three travelled to Ayr, a large county 
 town on the sea coast. Here are a few serious good people : 
 but very few. Socinianism long had a deadly influence here, 
 in the preaching of Dr. M'Gill, who is now dead. Our col- 
 lections at Dumfries amounted to £4>2. but were only £5. at 
 Ayr. In travelling from Ayr to Kilmarnock, on Tuesday, we 
 stopped to call on a minister of the Establishment, Mr. Oughter- 
 son of Monkton ; but he was so ill that we could not see him. 
 I afterwards received a letter, enclosing a guinea, expressing 
 his deep regret that he was prevented seeing me. I was told 
 that he lately became evangelical, through reading some of my 
 publications. On Tuesday evening, to our surprise, we saw Mr. 
 Dyer come into the place of worship : he left Plymouth the day 
 before my letter, sent to inform him of Mr. Steadman's accom- 
 panying me, arrived. Seeing both these brethren were here, 
 we planned to make the best use we could of them, for two or 
 three weeks, through the thickest of the work ; and then to let 
 them return, while I go down to Inverness and Tarn by myself 
 
MR. FULLER. 195 
 
 We had pretty good collections at Kilmarnock, Irvine, Beith, 
 and Saltcoats, at each of which places we had a double lecture j 
 so that I preached only a short sermon, and told the Mis- 
 sion tale. At Saltcoats we were in the church. Yesterday I 
 only preached to a small audience of Baptists in the afternoon, 
 and in the evening to a large auditory of above two thousand 
 people ; when I had enough to do to get through so as to be 
 heard. Mr. Dyer preached twice at other places in Greenock, 
 and Mr. Steadman went to spend the Lord's day at Paisley, 
 where I am to preach to-morrow evening for Mr. Burns, in his 
 church. — Greenock contains about twenty thousand people, half 
 of which number attend public worship. The evangelical min- 
 isters are. Dr. Scott in the Kirk ; Mr. Auld at the Relief meet- 
 ing, where I preached and collected last night ; Mr. Wilson at 
 the Burgher meeting, where Mr. Dyer preached and collected 
 at the same time ; and Mr. Harcus the Independent, where Mr. 
 Dyer preached and collected in the morning. They did great 
 things here for the fire. We every where meet with the highest 
 esteem, as agents for the Mission and Translations. The col- 
 lections here and at Port Glasgow have been about ;C 66. 
 
 "Glasgow, July 16, 1813, — The weather continues rainy, 
 which is against me. Yet I have stood it pretty well. I preach- 
 ed on Tuesday evening in Mr. Burns's church, formerly Dr. 
 Witherspoon's, where our collections amounted to £7(i. Much 
 respect is shown to our Mission by all parties ; I should not 
 wonder if the churches of evangelical ministers were generally 
 open to us, in a little time. The kindness of friends here is 
 almost overwhelming. It deprives me of all time for writing, 
 except early in the morning. Brother Steadman leaves Glas- 
 gow to-day, for Edinburgh, where he spends next Lord's day, 
 while Brother Dyer and I remain at Glasgow." 
 
 «' Glasgow, July 19, 1813. — I leave this place to-morrow for 
 Stirling, where Dr. Stuart meets me. Mr. Steadman returns 
 home from Edinburgh, this week. Mr. Dyer goes with me and 
 Dr. Stuart to Inverness. I have preached sixteen times. My 
 voice holds out pretty well. It seems rather the better for use ; 
 and my health on the whole is very good. We had nearly 
 
196 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 « 
 
 three thousand hearers last night at Mr. Ewing's. Enclosed 
 is a bill of /C500." 
 
 " Inverness, July 25, 1813. — Here I am, through the good- 
 ness of God, and pretty well, considering the wet weather we 
 have had in travelling through the Highlands. Yesterday it 
 rained all day. To-day the preaching must be principally out 
 of doors. Dr. S. was prevented joining us by illness. Mr. 
 Dyer is very helpful. Mr. M'Leod, a Baptist minister from 
 Crieff, is also with us, and we expect Brother C. Anderson on 
 Monday. 
 
 " This morning at half past seven I preached in the open air 
 to a few hundreds. At eleven heard Mr. M'Leod at the Meth- 
 odist chapel. At twelve Mr. Dyer took the field, and at half 
 past six I preached out of doors. 
 
 ** At half past twelve Mr. Dyer preached out of doors, at 
 three o'clock it began raining heavily. I know not what we can 
 do for the evening sermon, unless they lend us the church. 
 This the bigotry of the Inverness clergy will not grant. I should 
 not have wished for it but for the rain. 
 
 " Eight o'clock. Well, the weather has been fair, and we 
 have done very well out of doors. We had a large audience, 
 and the clergy themselves were in it, though they would not 
 grant us the use of the church. 
 
 <* Wednesday. — I have been to Dingwall, and found much 
 kind treatment from Mr. and Mrs. Stewart: returned to Inver- 
 ness yesterday, and preached last night. Mr. Anderson is just 
 arrived from the Isle of Skye. We leave Inverness to-day, for 
 Nairn, and so on for Elgin, Bamff, Aberdeen, on Lord's day ; 
 Montrose, Arbroath, Dundee, and Edinburgh. — Every day now 
 brings me nearer home." 
 
 ^* Aberdeen, Aug. 2, 1813. — I am now going to Montrose 
 and have a great deal more before me — Arbroath, Dundee, 
 Cupar of Fife, Kirkaldy, Edinburgh, Leith, Musselburgh, Had- 
 dington, Dunbar, Berwick, Alnwick, and Newcastle." 
 
 The detail throughout this journal is very brief. He men- 
 tions little more indeed, except the names of several persons 
 with whose character, conversation, and kindness he was par- 
 ticularly pleased. 
 
MR. FULLER. ISf 
 
 *« Aug. 3, 1813. — Arrived at Arbroath, a town on the Eastern 
 coast, of about 9000 inhabitants. Mr. Penman, the Independ- 
 ent minister, is a fine, friendly character, full of heart. I 
 preached in the evening to about 700 people." 
 
 « Dundee, Aug. 4. — Just arrived here, and met Mr. Chalmers 
 of Kilmany, an extraordinary writer. It is said, that being 
 lately engaged to draw up an article in the Scotch Encyclopedia, 
 on Christianity, the writing of that paper became the means of 
 thoroughly impressing his own heart with evangelical truth." 
 
 « Cupar of Fife, Aug. 5 — Crossed the Tay at six this morn- 
 ing : breakfasted with good old Dr. M'Culloch of Dairsie, 
 whose father was so useful at Cambuslang, in Mr. Whitfield's 
 days. Here we met with Mr. Paton, an Independent minister, 
 of St. Andrews, a very worthy man. There are about eighty 
 churches of this denomination in Scotland, the wreck of Mr. 
 Haldane's connexion : but they are beginning to recover the 
 shock they sustained. — To-night we go, after preaching, to sleep 
 at Mr. Chalmer's house, at Kilmany." 
 
 On Saturday noon he arrived at Edinburgh, where he expect- 
 ed to stay about ten days. 
 
 I have given the preceding sketch of his journeys into Scot- 
 land in succession. But shall now go back to notice some other 
 instances of his prudent and diligent exertions on behalf of our 
 Mission. 
 
 When we were informed, in April 1 807, of some very un- 
 pleasant restrictions laid upon our brethren in India, respecting 
 their labours among the natives ; Mr. Fuller went to London, 
 and obtained an interview with several persons of rank and in- 
 fluence, by whose advice he pursued the wisest measures for 
 their security. It would be improper to detail particulars; 
 but few men could have acted with equal prudence and firmness 
 in these affairs. In June he was obliged to take a second 
 journey to town on the same business He then drew up a 
 statement^ which was presented to the Directors of the East 
 India Company, the members of the Board of Control, and 
 other persons of consequence, who were likely to favour the 
 propagation of Christianity, and the cause of religious liberty^ 
 
198 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 I omit extracts from many long letters which I received from 
 him about this time respecting the Mission, as being either of too 
 private a nature, or already known by the Periodical Accounts. 
 
 On October 8, he was again in town, on his way to Maiden, 
 Witham, and Norwich. He travelled 400 miles, preached six- 
 teen times in about as many days, and collected about £, 1 30. In 
 London he had an interview with several respectable gentlemen, 
 and laboured hard to obtain redress of some intolerant meas- 
 ures, both in Jamaica and India. 
 
 In December he was called up again. He wrote to me thus on 
 the 18th: — "The war with the Mission is renewed. A Mr- 
 Twining has written a pamphlet against us, and means to call a 
 court of Proprietors. It is a strong effort of the enemies of 
 Christianity to ruin the Mission. The religious body in London 
 are all on the alert. Mr. Owen has answered Twining as far 
 as concerns the Bible Society. Our friends in the Direction 
 and the Board of Control, are publicly attacked by name. 
 They will do their best. But they want some able pens to an- 
 swer Twining. I have sent the piece and a letter of request 
 to Messrs. H. and F. but they tell me, ' You must write on the 
 subject. We want to have the public mind impressed in our 
 favour. The more good writers the better.* I have shut my- 
 self up yesterday and the day before, and have done something 
 towards an answer to T. and to another piece since come out. 
 
 " Dec. 23 — The threatened motion has been this day made 
 in a general Court of Proprietors. I was present, and heard the 
 whole." 
 
 I omit transcribing particulars, as this opposition is now 
 abated, and I do not wish to give unnecessary pain, even to 
 those who have acted an unfriendly part towards us. We would 
 bless God for raising up firm and able friends, and frustrating 
 the efforts of those who were then desirous to suppress all at- 
 tempts to spread the gospel in India. His counsel shall stand, 
 and he will do all his pleasure. We trust that all his enemies 
 shall be obliged to say of India, as of Europe at the time of the 
 Reformation. " The candle is lighted, and we cannot put it 
 out." At this time the motion in our favour was carried by a 
 show of hands of two to one. 
 
MR. FULLER. 199 
 
 In 1808 he was much employed in the same contest with the 
 enemies of our Mission, and of all other attempts to spread the 
 gospel in India. 
 
 " Feb. 14. — By a letter from Mr. B. I learn that there has been 
 a strong contest in Leadenhall Street. Sir F. B. formally moved 
 among the Directors, < That the Missionaries be recalled.* A 
 gentleman who spoke in reply to this motion was two hours on 
 his legs, taking a most able and comprehensive view of the sub- 
 ject, and proving the importance and even the necessity of 
 Christianity, in a political and commercial, as well as moral 
 view. There were 20 out of the 24 Directors present. On 
 dividing, seven were for Sir F.'s motion, and thirteen against it. 
 In April, six Directors go out, and six new ones come in ; but 
 I trust there is not much danger." 
 
 " I have had delicate ground to walk over in Part II. in answer- 
 ing the Letter to the President of the Board of Controul, and 
 Dr. Barrow's Sermon. But I have as much as possible avoided 
 dividing the Christian army. 
 
 "April 13, 1811. — We are in great straits as a Society for 
 money. Upwards of ;C 2000. indrafts on us has just arrived. 
 I fear we shall be considerably more than aground. We must 
 work to replenish the funds this summer, even though the 
 failure of trade should render it like rowing against wind and 
 tide." 
 
 In February and March 1813, he was in London, and accom- 
 panied by Mr. Sutcliff and Mr. Hinton, obtained an interview 
 with several noblemen, respecting provision to be made in the 
 new Charter for the toleration of Christian Missionaries in India. 
 The subsequent measures pursued, of sending petitions to Par- 
 liament, and the success that followed, are already known to 
 the public. 
 
 May 26, 1814, he thus wrote : — « Between now and the first 
 week in August, I have no rest. I give you my routes, that 
 you may write no letters to me at Kettering while I am out ; 
 and may write, if occasion should require to other places. June 
 6, 1 set off for Essex, where I shall collect between the 8th and 
 the 20th ; from thence I go to London, to the annual meeting^ 
 on the 23d ; conje down to Kettering on the 24th or 25th ; set 
 
•200 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 off for the north of England on the 27th, for five Lord's days. 
 I expect to spend the first at Liverpool, the second at Man- 
 chester, the third at Leeds, the fourth at Newcastle, and the 
 fifth at Hull." 
 
 His journey to Essex was prevented by sickness, but he 
 went into the north of England according to his intention, and 
 wrote to me from Durham, July 19th. — " I have written this 
 day an application to the East India Directors, for permission 
 for Mr. Yates to go to Serampore. My hands are full. In the 
 last three Lord's days, and on the week days between them, I 
 have collected about /(^SOO, and after doing a little more in this 
 neighbourhood, I hope to reach home about the 29th instant." 
 In his next letter from Newcastle, on the 24th, he intimated that 
 he expected to make it /;600. 
 
 " Jan. 11, 1815. — I have no hope of being able to continue 
 my monthly letters on the system of divinity, though I am at 
 the desk twelve hours every day, or nearly so. Rowe's Jour- 
 nal from Jamaica is very good. Such appears to be the self- 
 denial, economy, temperance, patience, and deep devotedness 
 to God of that young man, that I doubt not the Lord will event- 
 ually bless him. 
 
 " Feb. 25. — I sat down two days last August, to write to Felix 
 Carey, Jabez Carey, Moore, Rowe, Robinson, Judson, and I 
 know not how many more. 
 
 " I wrote to you before respecting your proposal of a meeting 
 at Bristol. If near that time we could go to South Wales, I 
 would be willing to come ; but I cannot take two journeys ; and 
 may not be able to take one." 
 
 Thus did he continue to the very close of life, watching over 
 the junior Missionaries, counselling and encouraging them ; 
 and laying himself out to procure necessary aid for carrying 
 on this important work: though he always disliked violent 
 pressing for contributions, and attempting to outvie other So- 
 cieties : he chose rather to tell a plain unvarnished tale ; and 
 he generally told it with good effect. May the Lord give wis- 
 doiTi, diligence and zeal to those that are left behind. We 
 must feel our loss, but the Lord is at no loss to find instru- 
 ments to carry on his cause. Psa, cxxi. 
 
CHAP. VIII. 
 
 EXTRACTS FROM MR. FULLEr's CORRESPONDENCE, CHIEF- 
 LY WITH THE AUTHOR OF THESE MEMOIRS, FOR TWO- 
 AND-THIRTY YEARS ; WHO, AFTER EXAMINrNG MORE 
 THAN 330 LETTERS WHICH HE HAD PRESERVED, HAS 
 SELECTED WHATEVER MIGHT ILLUSTRATE THE CHAR- 
 ACTER OF HIS FRIEND, THROW LIGHT UPON IMPOR- 
 TANT DOCTRINES, OK CONTAIN INTERESTING FACTS. 
 
 THIS chapter contains, among other things, Observations 
 relative to the Modern Question — The harmony of Scripture 
 precepts, prayers, and promises — The aJSiction of Mr. F/s 
 correspondent — Reference to his interview with Mr. Berridge — 
 His correspondent's removal to Bristol — Controversy with Mr. 
 Booth — Observations on Philosophy and the Word of God- 
 Accurate account of his preaching in Braybrook church — Out- 
 lines of a sermon to the aged — Hints to Students — Nature of 
 Christ's merits — Terrible hail-storm — Hints relative to pub- 
 lishing — Visit to Portsea — Visit to Ireland — Remarks on Mr. 
 Walker of Dublin, and on Sandemanianism — Remarks on 
 some of the Eclectic Reviewers — Mr. Sutcliff's illness and 
 death — Letter to the Rev. Archibald M'Lean — Besides various 
 other observations interspersed. 
 
 ^' Kettering, March 22, 1783. 
 
 « Dear Brother Ryland, 
 
 "The obligations under which you have laid me, are such, 
 that I know not when nor how I shall repay them. I heartily 
 thank you for what you sent me inclosed, as well as for your 
 attention to remove my difficulties in learning Hebrew. I re- 
 joice at reading Mr. Guy's letter.* I hope things will follow 
 «ach other in their course. 
 
 • I apprehend, this refers to what 1 since inserted in the Evangelical 
 Magazine, 1802,/>. 61. 
 
 26 
 
202 BfEMOiRs or 
 
 " The difficulty sent you from Dunstable, might probably 
 ori'j:i!)ate will) Mi". Cooke. It seems to be one ot his obji ctioni-^ 
 to Edwards's system. When I was there last August, he start' 
 ed the very same thing, before David Evans, of Thorn, and Mr. 
 Piliey of Luton, and me. I observed, as you do, that the will 
 and the understanding influence each other reciprocally, and 
 that the vileness of men's disfiosifions prevents them from judg- 
 ing justly of things. He n plied, as nearly as 1 can remember, 
 * Tliatmak.es no ( ifFerence : suppose the will does influence 
 the judgment, how came the will to be so inclined to influence 
 the judgment I That act of the will is also governed by the last 
 dictate of a prior act of understanding, and so on, ad 
 injinitunu* 
 
 *' I do not see, but that what you say of sin arising from a firi' 
 vative cause is just, and tends to solve the difficulty. 1 will sub- 
 mit a few farther remarks to your consideration. Mr. D. E. 
 seems to go upon the suppos tion, that any deftct in the under- 
 Standing must be a mere natural defect; for, he says, ' the un- 
 del standing is always considered under the idea of natural abili- 
 vty or inability.' But this must not be granted him ; for deprav- 
 ity influences the understanding, as well as the will. Mr. 
 Edwards explains the will being governed by the last dictate of 
 the understandings by its being as the greatest afifiarrtit good is. 
 Now, here I would ask. How romes sin to be the greatest ap- 
 parent good in the view of the mind ? Is it owing to a natural 
 or a moral defect, that men call evil good^ and good evil ? If the 
 former, why was Israel blamed for so doing ? If the latter, ti.en 
 it IS to be imputed, as you say, to the depraved state of the 
 mind^ which views things different from what they are ; like a 
 jaundiced eye, that discolours an object or an eye that sees 
 things double^ and so gives them a false appearance. This is 
 what the Scripture cans an '* evil" eye. Matt, vi 3. 
 
 " Farther, ought it not to be observed, that, though the will 
 always cliooj^es what the understanding suggests is agr< cable, 
 yet. not always wiiat appears to it to be right. The will, in ten 
 thousand instances, violates the dictates of conscience., winch 
 are the dictates ot the understanding concerning what is right 
 and wrong. The will of man, by nature, does not consult th« 
 
MR. FILLER. 203 
 
 \inderstandingj concerning- what is ric^ht and fit, but merely to 
 find out what will a.f^oid gralificatio?i. And sure by it mustai^ue 
 the depraved state of both these powers to be thus employed; 
 the will, to consult the understanding: with such a sordid end ; 
 and the understanding., todeajrade itself so low, as, like the prod- 
 igal, to be employed in feeding swine ; or, in other words, in 
 merely finding out objects for sensual and intellectual lusts. 
 
 " What reason is there for supposing the will only to be cor- 
 rupted ? Surely the whole mari is depraved, as it were, from the 
 crown of the head to the sole of the foot. When we say to peo- 
 ple wiio want to excuse thems-ives, ' Your inability lies in your 
 will ;* we do not mean, 1 suppose, that it is in the will, in distinc- 
 tion from the ur.derstanding and the aft'ections ; but in distinction 
 from a natural uiability, consisting in a want of power or oppor- 
 tunity. In all such language, tne will is used in a large sense ; 
 perhaps, for tne whole soul, as benig a leading faculty. Sup- 
 pose a man comes and entreats my pity, on account of a misfor- 
 tune, wliich befei him tlirough being in evil company. I retort, 
 in a tone of rebuke, ' You choose such company ; that is your 
 wickedness, and the cause of all your misery.* In this case it is 
 easy to see, 1 do not blame him merely for ihe ^r&t act of choice^ 
 in distinction trom his judging no better of the matter, and actu- 
 ally going amongst tiiem, and taking delight therein. No : for 
 each of these he was culpable; yea, thoUi::h the latter acts are 
 supposed necessarily to follow upon the former. 
 
 *^ 1 think it is certain, as you observe, that the will and the 
 understanding mutually influence each other. It is allowed, I 
 suppose, on all hands, that we are possessed of a world of crim- 
 inal prejudices. But prejudice, if I understand it, is /^re/ionc^c'r- 
 ation of (he will, vjishing to see things in such a lights or not 
 to see them in such a light. As to Mr. C.'s reply to this : that— 
 * suppose the will does i fluence the understanding, in various 
 of its acts ; yet, how comes the will to be so inclined to influence 
 the understanding ? If the will always follows the last dictate of 
 the understanding, then that act of the will which biassos the 
 understanding, is governed by the last dictate of a prior act of 
 the understanding ; and ho, ad infinitum ;" — ■! he mean, by this, 
 to suggest, that eyery erroneous dictate of the understanding is 
 
•204 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 a mere natural defect ; and, so, blameless ; I reply, < This re-r 
 quires proof.' Nothing of this has, as yet, I think, been giveii. 
 The order of the soul's acting- affords none. And, if something 
 like a proof could be found in the science of metaphysics, the 
 author must beware, lest he be confronted by the science of 
 common sense. Sippose, for example, a person owes Mr. C. a 
 sum of money, which he lent him in private ; he goes and 
 asks him for it ; he is told, in reply, ' I do not choose to pay 
 you.' < No ! Why ?' He is answered (and that with the great- 
 est sincerity ! ) * My understanding suggests to me, that, \ipon 
 the whole, it will be best for me to keep it, as you have no evi- 
 dence to show for it !' Would Mr. C think the suggesting 
 of such a piece of villainy as this to be owing to a mere natural 
 inability ? I am persuaded, that, if this suggest er and dictator 
 had been so unlucky as to have been a man^ instead of a mere 
 faculty^ he would deserve to be hanged for his pains ! 
 
 But if, on the other hand, he own that such erroneous dic- 
 tates of the understanding are morally evil-, as well as those of 
 the will, (which by the way he owned to me at Dunstable,) then 
 I confess, I do not see how this difficulty affects the doctrine of 
 natural and moral inability. What does it affect the argument, 
 whether the evil be in this faculty, or in that, or in all the facul- 
 ties ? If it is evil at all, it must be moral inability. Nay, and I 
 think, going about to prove the evil to reside in the understand" 
 ing, as well as the will, tends, rather, to aggravate than to les- 
 sen that inability ; as, certainly, if the will only were depraved, 
 man would not be so bad as he is, if his whole soul is depraved. 
 
 " As to your observation on election, it will do, I think, upon 
 the sublafisarian scheme ; but a Sufiralafisarian^ would not allow 
 of its reflecting any shame upon human nature. I have 
 formerly professed myself a Sujiralapsarian^ at a time when, 
 perhaps, I hardly knew the meaning of that hard word. I own, 
 I am not now versed in the arguments on either side. Only, 
 one thing has for some time struck me ; namely, that the 
 sublapsaria7i scheme is oi use io me, in the conviction of sinners. 
 I can prove to them, that they lie absolutely at the discretion of 
 God^ and have no claim whatever upon him ; that to them be- 
 longeth nothing but shame and everlasting confusion; that' 
 
MR. FULLER. 20^ 
 
 therefore^ God is entirely at liberty in choosing iv/iom he ivill. 
 I cannot make this use of the supralafisarian scheme ; for then 
 I must tell them, that, as Creatures, God had a right to 
 choose some to a higher degree of bliss than others. This cannot 
 be charged with injustice ; and, so far, may silence them : but 
 it cannot convict them of sm, or bring them to fall at the feet of 
 God, and own that they have cut themselves off from all good ; 
 and that, through their &m, their everlasting ill or well being 
 depends upon his mere sovereign pleasure. 
 I am, 
 
 Yours very affectionately, 
 
 A.F." 
 
 " P. S. I suppose you know Mr. Cooke is entirely in Dr. 
 Gill*s system respecting the Modern Question. He seems, I 
 think, a subtle disputant. God forbid I should rejoice in any 
 man's being averse from what I believe to be truth ; yet, all 
 things considered, this may be most for the public good. If there 
 were no man of polemic abilities to oppose our system, the 
 matter could not be fairly tried. Others might say, as Mr. E. 
 did to me, * If Mr. Brine, or some such writer were alive, he 
 would try the matter.' Thus it would be insinuated, that a con- 
 quest had been made, because there were only a few scattered 
 forces, without a captain at their head, to resist. In this view, I 
 shall not be sorry if Mr. C. should persist in opposing our sys- 
 tem, till the matter be thoroughly tried. 
 
 « When I was at Dunstable, Mr. Pilley and I conversed very 
 freely on such subjects. I think he appears to be leaning to our 
 system : Mr. C. perceived it too, and gave him some hard blows 
 for it. Mr. P. asked Mr. C. in the morning, wiiat bethought of 
 1 Cor. xvi. 22. < Did it not prove it to be the duty of every man 
 to love Christ ?* Mr. C. replied, * Aye, you will make it their 
 duty to believe in him, bye and bye.' Mr. P. however, has some 
 objections to our views, which we had not time to discuss. I 
 have been thinking of entering on a correspondence with him» 
 to have principles examined ; indeed, a letter to him has lain 
 by me, for several months, but I have never had courage to 
 send it ; merely, because I fear it would seem as if I wanted to 
 
206 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 instruct those who are more able to instruct me. He is, I think, 
 a veiy worthy man, of good natural abilities, an honest heart, 
 and some influence in our churches. He is particularly ac- 
 quainted With Mr. Emery, whose prejudices might probably be 
 softened by his coming over." 
 
 The followinp^ paper was drawn up by Mr. Fuller, at ray re- 
 quest, August 26, 1783. 
 
 A sheet had been published, containing a threefold arrange- 
 ment of many Scriptures, consisting of corresponding commands^ 
 petitions^ and promises. I am sorry I cannot find a copy of it. 
 It was well designed by the author, but, I thought, would be im- 
 proved by a more proper key, to open its consistency to the view 
 of the reader. 
 
 " There are two extremes, into which great numbers of the 
 religious world have fallen. One is, an idea oi self-sufficiency to 
 obey God's commands ; and the other is, a spirit oi self-justi^* 
 cation in neglecting them. Those who entertain xhi^.Jirst^ seem 
 not to know the plague of their own hearts : they suppose it in- 
 consistent for the Divine Being to enjoin that on them which 
 they are unable to perform; so that, if God command, saying, 
 < Make you a new heart, and a new spirit,* they conceive 
 them^clvt-s sufficient to effect it. Those who imbibe the last^ 
 deny their obligations : they suppose it inconsistent, that those 
 things wh;ch God has graciously promised to bestow upon us, 
 should yet continue to be required of us ; so that if God pron>ise, 
 saying, * A new heart will I give you, and a new spirit I will 
 put within you,' it frees them from all obligation in the affair* 
 The common language of such persons is, * Such a tning cannot 
 be our duty : t/iat is God's work.' 
 
 "That both these principles are wide of the truth, appears, 
 not only fiom the following Scriptures, but from the nature of 
 things. As to ihe Jirst, it is allowed, that it would be jnconsist- 
 cnt in the Divim Being to enjoin that on us which we are vat- 
 urally unable to perform. By naturally unable^ is intended that 
 inability wherein we cannot do a thing, though ivr would ever 
 ^0 fain ; or tl.at inability which dors not at all consist in the nvant 
 of a disjioaitiouy but of opportunity^ or else in a debility of our 
 
MR. FULLER, 207 
 
 bodily or mental faculties. If our inability to fulfil the commands 
 of God were of this kind, it is allowed, it would be inconsistent 
 in the Divine Bein^^ to hold us stiii bound to fulfil them. God 
 does not require a bliiuJ man to read iiis word, nor an idv ot to 
 understand it. But our inability is not naturaL but moral ; that 
 is, it lies in the want of a good disposition^ and in bein^,- under 
 the dominion of a bad one. Our inability is like that of Joseph's 
 brethren, who cozild not speak peaceably to him : or like that 
 of the Jews, to whom Christ spake, sayini;. How can ye, being 
 evil, speak good tilings ? or like that of those repwved by the 
 apostle Peter, Having eyes full of aduliery., and that cannot cease 
 from sin. The reason why the mind is not subject to the law 
 of God, nor can be, is its being a carnal mind, and enmity against 
 God. Now it is so far from being inconsistent in the Divine 
 Being to require of us what we are in this stnse unable to per- 
 form, that it would be inconsistent in him not to require it : as 
 inconsistent as for a worthy prince to drop his claims of allegi- 
 ance, in proportion as his rebellious subjects become so averse 
 from his government, that thty cannot fi*ia it in their hearts to 
 yield obedience to him 
 
 " In this view of things, however, we are unable to obey God's 
 law ; though that inaniiity is our fauit. While the heart is en- 
 tirely averse liom God's law, it is impcssibie any real obedience 
 to It can be yielded. Hence, Goes has told us, tiiat when the 
 Mthiufiian can change his skin, and the leopard fits spots., then 
 may those do good ivotks., who are accustomed to do evil. And 
 hence, the best of men, who are still tiie subjects of a great deal 
 of moral inability, that is, of carnality, acknowledge, that the 
 way of man is not in himself ; that it is not m man that walkcth 
 to direct his steps. Hence also, they unite tiieir prayers with 
 God's precepts — ' Thou hast commanded us to keep thy pre- 
 cepts diligently. O that my ways were directed to keep thy 
 statutes 1' And hence, likewise, God graciously promises that 
 which he commands^ and for which we pray ; as may be seen 
 in the following collection of Scriptures. 
 
 " The other principle does not appear ?t all less beside the 
 truth than the above ; for if we aie not previously obligated to 
 all or any of those spiritual dispositions wnicn tne Holy Spirit 
 
208 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 actually works in us, then the law of God is not exceedingly 
 kroad, but exceedingly narrow. Then, also, the work of the 
 Spirit does not consist in puttinjj his law into our hearts, and 
 writing thai in our inward parts ; but in something else, which 
 his law did not require, nor know any thing about. 
 
 " The views which saints in old time had of these things, will 
 appear, by the following collection of Scriptures, wherein we 
 may observe, — First, God cominanding : by this they understood 
 his just authority over them, and their great obligations to him. 
 But, secondly, conscious of their moral inability to obey his 
 righteous requirements ; or, in other words,of their propensity to 
 neglect and disobey them, they return them, as it were, to 
 heaven, accompanied with earnest prayers, that God, by his 
 Holy Spirit, would work those very things in them, which, by 
 his law, he required of them. Then, thirdly, we see the Lord 
 mercifully sending down both precepts and prayers, accompanied 
 with exceedingly great and precious /iromiies, wherein, as the 
 God of grace, he engages to bestow those very things which, as a 
 lawgiver, he requires. 
 
 " Here" says Mr. F. " I would place the collection of 
 Scriptures, and then, at the conclusion, add the following para- 
 graph : 
 
 " And now, reader, judge, whether, in this view of things, the 
 preceptive and promissory parts of Scripture, do not gloriously 
 harmonize. Here, in one part, you see the divine authority of 
 the lawgiver ; in another, the moral insufficiency of the creature ; 
 and, in the other, the all sufficiency of the God of Grace. The 
 Lord grant you may have grace to understand and digest every 
 truth ! Then will you cease from self-sufficiency, on the one 
 hand, and self-justification, on the other. You will happily es- 
 cape Arminian pride, and Antinomian jiresumfition. You will 
 own your obligations, feel and mourn your defects, pray for what 
 you want, praise for what has been granted, and trust Jehovah 
 for what he has promised." 
 
 "Dec. 10, 1785. 
 " Through the goodness of God, 1 am safely returned ; 
 though 1 was very ill, last week, with a violent sickness and fever. 
 
MR. FULLER. 209 
 
 for some days. I find you have heard, though by what channel 
 I cannot conceive, that I have had a little dispute with a certain 
 in.ujenious gentleman, who has been used to plead lor the inno- 
 cence of mental error. The point was, Whether every one 
 9ught to believe the truth ? If this had been granted, his innO' 
 cence of error must have fallen. The substance of the conversa- 
 tion, as far as I can remember, was this. Gentleman. ' Well, Mr. 
 Fuller, I am told, thereis a revolution of principles among some of 
 you. Mr. L. of N- tells me, we are all going to be leanied how to 
 preach. Mr. Hall has written a book, and Mr. Fuller, another ; but 
 it is only the old story over again, about repentance and fuitl; being 
 the duty of sinners. Now I told him, (continued the gentleman,) 
 faith could not be a duty, because that is the effect of examination, 
 and what, when a person does, he cannot help, doing* F. *• It is 
 as you have heard, as to Mr. Hall's having written a book. His 
 book, however, is not wholly on that subject. He had occasion 
 to say something on natural and moral inability^ and so touches 
 on the subject you mentioned. Resfiondent. <- Natural and 
 moral inability 1 Well, I think that a very just distinction.' F. ' Do 
 you not think, Sir. it is every one's duty to believe the truth ?* 
 R ' No ; it is every one's duty to examine the truth ; and if they 
 do that fairly, they will necessarily believe it : but believing itself 
 can no more be said to be duty, than it is my duty to be warm, 
 when I stand by the fire. Being warm is the effect, of my 
 standing by the fire ; it is the influence of fire upon me : so faith 
 is the effect of examination ; the effect or influence of truth 
 upon the mind.' F. Mftobe the effect of some prior cause 
 •annot consist with duty, then love is not a duty ; for love is the 
 effect of discerning the beauty of an object ; and it has also the 
 other property of faith, you mentioned ; that is, when we love, 
 we cannot help doing as we do, can we ?' R. ' No.* F. ' And is 
 not love the effect of discernment too ?' R. ' Yes.' F. ' Well ; is 
 not love a duty ?' R ' No ; properly speaking, it is our duty to 
 txamine the excellence of an object ; and if we do that, we must 
 love it, if it be lovely : but love itself is not properly speaking, a 
 duty.* F. ' What then, did God mean by commanding us to 
 love him with all our heart, and Christ, by commanding us to 
 !ove one another ? Are we commanded to do what is not our 
 27 
 
210 MBMOIRS OF 
 
 duty ?' [N"o answer that I remember.] F. <■ Is it not our duty 
 to choose the gnod^ and refuse the evil ?^ R. * Not, philosoph- 
 ically speaking.' i^\'Sir, wliat duty can you point out that is 
 not the effect of some prior cause ? No action, I presume, 
 of ?ny kind ; for that is the effect of thought and choice,* R. 
 * Yes; but whatt ver is a srood action^ I allow to be duty ; btit 
 faith is not ?n act.' F. « Nor love ? nor choice ?* R. * No ' F, 
 ' What, then, are mental acts ? and why are the verbs, to believe, 
 to love, to choose, actively expressed ?* [No answer.] F. * What 
 thi»>k you of 1 John v. 10. He that believeth not Gody hath made 
 him a liar, because. Sec' R. ' Aye. that is. he believeth not the 
 eospel * F ' V-rv wpH ; nnd what then ? Is it no sin to make 
 
 God a liar ?' [No answer] F. 'Suppose Mr. should 
 
 go home, and tell a f?c(. f>om his own kno^' ledge. His son 
 affects to doubt it. ' Whst ! ranrot you believe me ?' * Father, 
 ('eplies the boy.) T am examini?ie- the affaii*. Possibly, you may 
 be mist-ken, or may tell me a lie.* R. * Very well ; it would 
 be his duty merelv to examine,' F. * I should be loth to be in 
 the boy's clothes, if vou h^d a stick in your hand. I think. Sir, 
 the sum is. we each suppose the soul to move by a number of 
 movements, as it were, bv gradation. First, I thivk Judge, then 
 choose, I'.ve, act. Sec. Now, I sunpose duty to be predicable of 
 each of these ; you, only of the_/?r,9f in the series. I judpre it to 
 be every one's duty to act rieht ; and. in order to that, \o judge 
 rip,ht, choose rieht. &g. You suppose it duty to examine in a 
 right manner ; and then, because the other will follow of course, 
 they can be no duties : and so there is no virtue in doing a good 
 action, or vice in an e^il one ; nor in prood choice or evil; but 
 barely in examining these matters. Tliis, I own, reduces good 
 and evil to a yery narrow compass.* " 
 
 "Feb. 26, 178S. 
 " I return you Edwards on Origival Sin, and thank you for the 
 use of it 1 hope it h??s hecn of ust to me- A week or two ago, 
 1 was at R to ^ee Mr Twt»tite. He brought up a conversa- 
 tion relative to my intended puhiicalion, ot whicli he had heard. 
 He wished to see the manuscnjjt, h* fore it wos published. It is 
 in a bud, interlined condition ; uui iic pressed me so, that I could 
 
MR, FULLER. ^11 
 
 net deny him. In conversation, Waymav^s Farther Inquiry 
 Game up, which he e^reatly prefers to Mr. Brme's writings. I 
 told him, 1 tiioiiglit Mr. W. had mistaken the definition jf faith ; 
 as he proceeds, all along, on the supposition, that it is a believing 
 our oivn particular interest in Christ's death. Tins he aenied ; 
 and said, * You must read him again : adding, if that had been 
 the case, he should have committed his piece to the Jlames. I 
 asked him, what he thought faith was? He said, ' An applica- 
 tion to, and trust in Christ, for salvation.' I said, Verv well; 
 I will not dispute with you about that definition ; but, it that is 
 Mr. W.'s idea of it, why does he charge his antagoi.ist, all the 
 way, with making it people's duty to believe a lie ? Would 
 there have been any thing of believing a lie, in the four le- 
 pers applying to the Syrians, and trusting them for salvation, 
 supposing them to have fallen into their hands, and even sup- 
 posing them to have killed them ^. Where all help fails from 
 .every other quarter, and a possibility of help remains from one 
 only, is it not the duty of the party to a/?y''/i/ for that, and even 
 trust in it ? if a company of traitors were under condemnation, 
 and the prince were to declare a purpose of mercy to s07ne of 
 them ; would not that be a ground wijy all should applij ? Yea, 
 and, whatever might be the issue^ surety they ought not to deny 
 their crimes, and so trust in falsehood ; but to own them, and 
 trust in the prince's clemency. There would be no belief of 
 « /ze, in this case ; even supposing they should find no favour, 
 when they came there. But Christ has promised indefinitely, 
 < Him that Cometh I will in no wise cast out;' and this cannot 
 make that the belief of a lie, which would not have been so 
 without it. He could not get over this argument, but went off 
 to another ; saying. These cases were not similar : for that these 
 criminals had /zower to go and trust ; but sinners had not power 
 to come to Christ. 1 denied this : I said, there were many 
 cases in which a traitor had not /loiver to humble himself, and 
 ask pardon ; that his heari would not let him ; that his pride 
 and enmity were such as to be invincible ; and that many an 
 one had proved that he could not submit, and that he would 
 rather a thousand times be beheaded, or even hanged, than do 
 it. Here he seem.ed at a loss, and appeared never to have con- 
 
212 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 sidered that sort of inability. Here we ended. He promised 
 to read over tlie mani.iscripi candidly, and make any remarks 
 that mit^ht occur ; and I promised I would give them all the 
 weight I could ; and that, if I thought he had rendered one ar- 
 gument void, I would erase it. 
 
 " Yours, sincerely and affectionately, 
 
 «A.F.'» 
 
 "Feb. 2, 178r. 
 
 " I have often been in pain for you, since I saw you ; but God 
 is good, and will support you- I was thinking whether it 
 mir^ht not be of use to you, to read over the latter part of your 
 own sermon, on God's Extierimental Probation of Intelligent 
 Assents. God has long tried you, my Brother, by a series of 
 trials ; under which you have had one to feel w'th you, and for 
 you. The Lord, it may be, has taken her away, that you may 
 have a more direct recourse to him. It was much tome, when 
 my child died, to think, ' The Lord, liveth, and blessed be my 
 Rock !' It is no small comfort, to think, you are not parted for 
 ever. Your dear departed might have adopted the words of her 
 Lord, to you — '- I shall see you again, and your heart shall re- 
 joice,' &c. O what a meeting shall we have at last ! 
 
 " I have just now received yours, and am very glad to find 
 you are so well supported. God is good, and a strong hold in 
 a day of trouble. Blessed be God, we have several young 
 people, who are concerned about their souls' salvation." 
 
 " Kettering, Jan. 7, 1791. 
 
 " As to my Everton journey, I wrote something, 
 
 as it was then fresh upon my mind, better than I can now. I 
 greatly admired that divine savour which, all along, mingled 
 itself with Mr. Berridge's facetiousness, and sufficiently chas- 
 tised it. His conversation tended to produce a frequent, but 
 guiltless smile, accompanied with a tear of pleasure. His 
 love to Chriiit appears to be intense. I requested him to give 
 us a few outlines of his life and ministry. These were inter- 
 esting, but too long to write. They will enrich an evening's 
 
MR. FULLER. 2Ia 
 
 Gonversatien, if I come to Northampton.* When he had gone 
 through, I asked him to pray for us. He said, he was so taint 
 he could not yet, and requested me to pray. I prayed, and 
 concluded as usual, by asking all in Christ's name. He, with- 
 out <<etting off his knees, took up the prayer where I had left it> 
 in ^ome such manner as this : — ' O Lord God ! this prayer has 
 been offered up in the name of Jesus : accept it, I beseech 
 thee,' 8cc. for five or six minutes, in a most solemn and savoury 
 manner. We then took leave, with solemn prayer for blessings 
 on each, as if we had been acquainted for forty years, and were 
 never to see each other again in this world. The visit left a 
 strong and lasting impression on my heart of the beauty of 
 holiness — of holiness almost matured." 
 
 « Kettering, Dec. 3, 1793. 
 " My dear Brother, 
 
 " I have no other occasion for writing, than to express my 
 earnest desire, that your important removal may be for good. 
 I am satisfied you are in the path of duty : on this considera- 
 tion, I am willing to part witli you. I loved Carey, but I loved 
 the cause of Christ better : and, on that account, I could not 
 be sorry at his departure; though it was with a probability never 
 to see him more. Your views of divine truth, I consider as of 
 great importance in the Cliristian ministry. Go then, my 
 Brother, pour them into the minds of the rising generation of 
 ministers. Perhaps, there could noi have been a station in 
 which you would have had so fair an opportunity of propagating 
 gospel-truth. Let us do all we can in our different stations. 
 Respectability of character and situation affords great opportu- 
 nity of doing good. We have several of us, in different ways, 
 l^.ereby, fresh openings for usefulness. It is a trust, as well 
 ».s other things, of which we must give account; and 1 hope our 
 i^ccount will be with joy, and not with grief 
 
 " 1 have found, the more I do for Christ, the better it is with 
 Bie. 1 never enjoyed so much of the pleasures oi religion, as 1 
 have within the last two years, since we have engaged in the 
 Mission business. Mr. Whitfield used to say, ' The more a man 
 «oes for God, the more he may.' 
 
 * See EvongeUcat J^lagazine, 1794, p. 73^. 
 
214 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 " I should have been glad to have seen you at Kettering. As 
 that cannot be, the Lord God of Israel prosper your way 1 
 « I am, 
 
 « Very affectionately, yours, 
 
 "ANDREW FULLER. 
 
 "P.S. I will write as often as I find somctluni; interesting 
 
 to write about, and opportunity admits. I hope you will do the 
 
 "April 21, 1794. 
 " I have read Dr. Edwards on Free Grace and Aionemcnt 
 with great pleasure. I suppose I read it sometime ago ; but 
 I never relished it so well btfoie. I thank you for it. I would 
 not take half-a-guinea for that pamphlet, though I do not coin- 
 cide with every thing it contains.*' 
 
 "Jan. 1, 1795. 
 
 " I received, about a week ago, the packet of pamphlets ; 
 for which I am much obliged to you. I very much longed for 
 West on the Atonement; and if I could have Spring on Dutij^ 
 I should be very glad. I am concerned to hear of Dr. Ed- 
 wards's illness. The Lord preserve him, if he be yet alive t 
 Should you write to him, give my sincere love to him, and 
 thank him for his remarks on my letters, as well as for the 
 pamphlets. I hope soon to begin a third edition, and shall 
 make use of them, as far as I can see their propriety. 
 
 " You ask, if I have seen Paine*s Age of Reason. I have 
 not. You do not know what reading is to me ; one hour would 
 bring on the headach. A newspaper is as much as I can read 
 at a time. I could do many things, if strength would allow 
 it. Plans of various works have entered n.y mind ; but all must 
 be dropped, or nearly so, for want of strength. Reading is 
 worse to me, than thinking or writing." 
 
 "April 2, 1795. 
 
 " Sin is to be overcome, not so much by maintaining a direct 
 
 opposiuon to it, as by cuhivating opposite principles. Would 
 
 you kill the weeds in your garden, plant it with good seed : if 
 
MR. FULLBR. 216 
 
 the ground be well occupied, there will be less need of the 
 labour of the hoe. If a man wished to quench fire, he might 
 fight it with his hands, till he was burnt to death ; the only way 
 is, to apply an opposite element.** 
 
 He observes, respecting a certain person, — « He seems to 
 confound the subordinate character under which Christ acted, 
 with an inferiority of nature. There is a kind of economical 
 subordination ascribed to the Son and Holy Spirit ; which yet 
 does not suppose any inequality, or inferiority of nature.'* 
 
 "Aug. 28, 1795. 
 « I cannot but think Mr. B.'s ideas, on the subject of your 
 letter to him are unjust. I acknowledged, as you did, that no 
 good disposition whatever was required to nvarrant our applica- 
 tion to Christ ; but urged, that a good disposition was necessary 
 to the act of coming ; that, in the order of things, repentance 
 must precede faith in Christ, as well as follow it : since, without 
 a conviction — a spiritual conviction of the evil of sin— there 
 could be no sense of our need of a Saviour. While the heart 
 is not broken by repentance, the sinner is whole, and needs no 
 physician. He owned, men must consider themselves as lost 
 perishing sinners. I answered, <• If this conviction include no 
 change of disposition, it will never lead a sinner to Christ. 
 With a heart at enmity with God, he ivill not come to Christy 
 that he may have life. Pray, Sir, does not a sinner's consider- 
 ing himself in a lost, perishing condition, include repentance ?* 
 B. ' No ; Judas felt this.' F. » And will any man come to 
 Christ, who possesses merely the disposition of Judas ?* He 
 would not say, they would. F. * I really think the sickness of 
 which our Lord speaks, implies such a conviction of the evil of 
 sin, as well as of the perishing state of the sinner, as is accom- 
 panied with a justification of God, a condemnation of them- 
 selves, and a despair of help from every other quarter ; and this 
 includes the first principles of repentance, and of all true re- 
 ligion.* B, < To talk of repentance, as being previously neces- 
 sary, is leading the soul from Christ, to centre in self F.^ Yes; 
 if that repentance be made a ground, warrant, or encourage- 
 
216 IVfEMOIRS OF 
 
 ment, to come ; not else.' B. ' You may say, that the sinner is 
 not to consider his good disposition as a ground; but, if you 
 preach it as necessary, he ivill so consider it, and thus turn his 
 attention to it, and be dwelling upon his own penitence.' F. ' Be 
 it so : your argument then is this — Because wt cannot keep 
 people from abusing our sentiments, therefore they cannot be 
 true. Would you, as Brother R. asks, plead for an imfienitent 
 application to Christ, in which the heart is still hard ?' B. 
 * No ; but I conceive of the sinner being changed by faith ; and 
 not previous to it. The Word is the means of his change. I 
 read Sandeinan some years ago ; and, though I disapproved of 
 many things, yet I appioved of that. He proves, that the sinner 
 must come to Christ, without any good disposition whatever. 
 F. * If he had said, as the ground, or warrant of his coming, 
 I should say the same.' B. ' You cannot turn people's at- 
 tention from it: if you make it necessary they will dwell upon 
 it*. F, * Pray, Sir, how do ijou go daily to Christ ? Do you 
 not still go, as a perishing sinner ?' B. ' Yes ; but not as an 
 unconverted sinner.* F. < That is, you are conscious that you 
 are the subject of a good disposition, and yet you make it no part 
 of your warrant to apply to Christ: why may not a penitent 
 ainner, on his first application to Christ, do the same ?' " 
 
 " Oct. 9, 1795. 
 " I received your parcel, containing several American puljlica- 
 lions. I have not had time to read them through, though I have 
 looked over some of them. I did not quite like Mr. Bell's mode 
 of appealing to ' the unerring oracles of true fihilosofihy and 
 ihf Word of God.* God's Word is, or is not a sufficient 
 rule, from whence the man of God may be thoroughly 
 furnisljed. What is philosophy, that it should become an 
 * oracle,' by which to try sentiments in divinity ? See Jonathan 
 Edwards's Thou<rhts on the Revival. Part I. p. 4. Dr. Edwards, 
 Dr. Hopkins, and others of their best divines, justly inveigh 
 against human authority in religion : I mean, taking up with 
 a sentiment, on accoimt of the men of great name that have 
 held it ; but what is philosophy, but human opinion?* Has it 
 
 • «• Philosophy is human opinion, formed without the Bible. Is that 
 more aa oraclei than human opiniuu formed from it ? 1 grant, that right 
 
MR PULLER. 2ir 
 
 »ot varied in every age ? I have no objection to such a way of 
 advancing truth, as consists in pointing out it's rationality : on 
 the contrary, it is a great satisfaction to feel both Scripture 
 and reason on our side ; and so it is to find great and good men 
 agreeing with us in important doctrines ; but, as 1 would not 
 make an <■ oracle' of them, neither would I of a set of human 
 opinions, though they may go under the name of philosopny. 
 Philosophy seems to me. out of its place, when seated upon 
 the bench by the side of God's word : the bar is tne hignest 
 station to which it ought to be admitted." * 
 
 « Oct. 26, 1796. 
 " The report of my preaching in Brayhrook church is true ; 
 but the report, that the clergyman or myself have suffered any 
 inconvenience, is not so. Nor have 1 any apprehensions on 
 that score. The fact was thus : Mr. Broughton, of Braybrook 
 Lodge, had a son, about 20 years of age, who died. The 
 young man's desire was, that I should preach a funeral sermon 
 at his interment, from Jer. xxxi. IS — 20. Mr. Ayer, the Baptist 
 minister came to me, the day before his burial, to inform me, 
 I said to him, "* And where are we to be ? the meeting house 
 will not hold half the people.* He said he did not know. ' I 
 do not know,' said I, * where we can be, unless they would Wnd 
 us the church.' This I said merely in pleasantry, and without 
 the most distant idea of asking for it- Mr. A however, went 
 home, and told the young man's father what I had said. * I 
 will go,' said he, < and ask the clergyman.' He went. ' I have 
 no objection,' said the old man, (who is a good-tempered man, 
 but lies under no suspicion of either evangelical sentiments, or 
 of being righteous overmuch,) ' if it could be done with safety ; 
 but I reckon it would be unsafe.' Mr B. took this for an an- 
 swer in the negative. But, the same day, the Oid clergyman 
 rode over to Harborough, and inquired^ I suppose, of some attor- 
 ney. He was told, no ill consequences would follow towards 
 
 reason never errs : but what is, at all times, called philosophy, may : 
 and, to say, that we make right reason or true philosophy our or«cle, is 
 taking it for granted, that we hare found out what right reason and true 
 philosophy is, ia all cases, which is more than can be justly pretended." 
 
 28 
 
218 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 him : if any, tliey would fall upon mc. Ho tlien came back, aiul 
 just before the funeral, told Mr. B. what he had learned, 
 adding, ' I do not wish Mr. F. to injure himself ; but, if he choose 
 to run the hazard, he is welcome to the church.* Mr. B. told 
 me this. We then carried the corpse up to the church, and 
 the old man went through the service out of doors. It was 
 nearly dark, very cold and damp ; and about 5 or 600 were 
 gathered together. The meeting would not hold above 100, 
 and I should have taken a great cold to have been abroad. I 
 did not believe the attorney's opinion, that they could hurt mc, 
 unless it were through the cltrgyman. I, therefore went up to 
 him, thanked him for his offer, and accepted it. He stayed to 
 hear me : and 1 can truly say, I aimed and longed for his sal- 
 vation. After sermon, he shook hands with me before all the 
 people ; saying, ' Tliank you Sir, for your serious, pathetic 
 discourse : I hope no ill consequences will befal either thee or 
 mt;.' Next day, I rode with him some miles, on my way home. 
 < I like charity,' said he ; ' Christians should be charitable to one 
 another.' I have heard nothing since, and expect to hear no 
 more about it* 
 
 *' We have had nearly twenty added this autumn. Our 
 place is crowded more than when we enlarged before." 
 
 "Jan. ], 1799. 
 
 « I was gone to Nottingham, when yours arrived. Last 
 Lord's day, 1 preached a sermon to old people, from Psa. Ixxi. 
 9. in which * O Absalom, my son, my son !' had a place ; but 
 that is a subject I could only touch. 
 
 *' First. The blessing desired — that God would not cast him 
 off, nor forsake him in old age. I supposed the Psalm written 
 about the time of Absalom's conspiracy. God had cast off his 
 predecessor, Saul, and tlnngs looked as if he now meant to cast 
 him off. His people also seemed, by joining with Absalom, 
 
 • The Bishop, however, at a visitation, did speak to the clergyman on 
 the subject, who a<linitted the fact •♦ Well, did he pray for the king ?" 
 said the Diocesan. •' Yes, very fervently." •* And Mhat did he preach 
 about ?" " Wliy, about the common salvation," was the reply. On whrcli 
 the Bishop only told him, he must not do so again. 
 
MR. FULLER. ' 219 
 
 disposed to cast him off. Hence, the force of the petition. Old 
 men do not always put up this petition. If the desires of many 
 of them were put into words, they would be, that they mii^ht 
 save money, retain power, &c. Covctousness is particularly 
 the sin of old age. The reason may be ; in early life, corrup- 
 tion has a number of channels to flow in — sensuality, pride, &q. 
 but, in age, thes& are stopped, or nearly so, by the decay of the 
 natural powers and passions ; and, from hence, the whole flows 
 in one or two channels. But these things will soon forsake us, 
 or we must soon leave them. The favour and presence of God 
 should be the object of our desire. — I considered, 
 
 " Secondly. Some of the peculiar circumstances of old age, 
 which render this blessing necessary, [l.] Old age is a time 
 of little natural enjoyment. 2 Sam. xix. 35. The more need 
 therefore for others. It is a soil on which that kind of pleasure 
 will not grow ; but the joys of true religion will. Psa. xcii. 14. 
 * Fruit in old age.' Isa. xl. 30, 31. Be this, therefore, our object, 
 p.] It is a time in which the troubles of life are often knonvn 
 to increase. Many are poor, and can struggle no longer with 
 penury ; and so sink under their hardships. Poor old men ! 
 this prayer befits your lips.— Others have families, and live to 
 see their children's miseries, or, what, (if we fear God,) is worse, 
 their evil courses. How fit the language from the lips of those 
 whose gray hairs are going down witii sorrow to the grave ! — 
 Others lose their friends by death. Youth is the time of form- 
 ing connexions, which is a source of pleasure ; and age, of 
 those connexions being dissolved, which is a source of pain. 
 How many poor widows do I now addi ess, who are left in a 
 world of care and sorrow, to serve alone ! Does not this prayer 
 befit your lips ? — Finally, It is at this period, that we often have 
 to reap the bitter fruits of the sins of earlier years. Disobe- 
 dience to parents is often followed by disobedience in children j 
 neglect of family government, by family ruin, as in Eli's case ; 
 and criminal indulgences in youth, by similar practices in our 
 ehildren. David had his troubles in younger life; but they 
 were light, compared with those which respected Amnon, Ta- 
 mar, and Absalom. Here, impurity and blood re-appeared, 
 and wounded his heart. [3.] Old age is a time in which the 
 
220 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 troubles of lite not only increase, but become ktn tolembl^. 
 Youngs people will weather theirs ; but it is not so with the 
 aged. Pains of mind resemble pains of body : young people 
 will work them off; but, in old people, they remain, and are 
 carried to the grave. Jacob had hardships, when at Padan- 
 aram ; the heat by day and the frost by night ; but he forgot 
 them in a little time: not so, when, after having lost his beloved 
 Rachel, a garment was brought to him covered with blood ! 
 Is this, or any thing like it, the condition of any here ? So much 
 the more necessary the petition — [4.] Old age is a time that 
 ought to command respect, and does so among dutiful children 
 and all serious Christians ; but it is often known to be accom- 
 fianied by neglect. This is the case, especially, where they are 
 poor and dependent. It has been the case where public char- 
 acters have lost their youthful vivacity, and the brilliancy of their 
 talents. In these cases, how fit the petition. [5.] It is a period 
 bordering on death and eternity. The enjoyments of life are 
 more than half gone ; and the remainder hang on a thread more 
 than half broken. 
 
 t' Thirdly. I inquired, in what cases there are grounds to 
 hope this petition will be granted ? Not all old men enjoy God*s 
 favour and presence. There are men tottering on the brink of 
 the grave, and yet wicked ; yea, ripe in wickedness. Merce- 
 nary, deceitful, crafty, oppressive : even those sins which they 
 can no longer act, through a failure in their powers, they will 
 recal in their defiled imagination, and repeat in conversation, to 
 the corruption of youth. Ah ! wicked old man ! God will cast 
 you off. Age itself entitles you lo no respect from man ; nor 
 will you find mercy from God. Tiiink, particularly of two pas- 
 sages : Isa.lxv. 20. and Psa. Ixviii 21. 
 
 " Who then will be found sharers in this blessing ? [1.] It 
 is certain, that if ive have been God*s servants from our youths 
 he will not cast us off in our old ac:e. David pleaded this, ver. 
 5. 17. O how was this truth verified in the old age and death 
 of Jacob, Daniel, Paul, Sec. ['.'.] Though we should not have 
 been his servants in youth, yet if in old age^ even from thence, 
 'W nec-k him ivith all our hf^arrn., lie will be found of us, and 
 will not forsake us. He will not refuse, even at the eleventh 
 
MR. FOLLEB. 221 
 
 hour. [3 ] Though you should never have been his servants 
 unto this day ; but have grown gray under Satan's yoke, and 
 are now a poor, miserable creature, just ready to fall into hell 
 
 yet, if from htnce you shall seek the Lord our God, with 
 
 all your heart, and with all your soul, he will be found of you ; 
 for the Lord our God is a merciful God ! If with all your 
 heart you only put up this prayer, Cast me not off in the time 
 of old agCy &c. he will not cast you off, but will stand your 
 friend, when you are forsaken by the whole world. 
 
 " Tims I have half filled my letter with a sermon ; but you 
 will excuse it. I do not think it will be in my power to come 
 to Bristol this year. You know Brother Pearce's condition. I 
 am rejoiced to find he gets a little better, and that they propose 
 obtaining an assistant for him : but, if he should recover, he 
 cannot do that at present, for the Mission, which he has done. 
 Ward says, if one of us could go to Manchester and Liverpool, 
 we might get x; 100. at each place. I suppose we must try in 
 the spring ; and that may fall, perhaps, to my share. I thank 
 you, however, for your love ; and should feel as much pleasure 
 in coming, as you would in receiving me. Nottingham people 
 were very friendly ; they mean that Brother Pearce and I 
 ^ould go alternately, and have an annual collection &c." 
 
 "April 5, 1799. 
 « I remember my visit to Bristol with pleasure, and the 
 treatment of friends there with gratitude. My love to all who 
 may inquire after me. I hope the students do not smoke more, 
 or longer, than when I came. I must say, however, that I rel- 
 ished several pipes in their company. I earnestly wish they 
 may steer clear of the ditch and the quagmire. It is of vast 
 importance for a minister to be decidedly on the side of God, 
 against himself as a sinner, and against an apostate world. 
 Nor is it less important, that he have an ardent love to Christ, 
 and the gospel of salvation by free grace. I wish they may so 
 believe and feel and preach the truth, as to find their message 
 an important reality, influencing their own souls and those of 
 others. Let them beware of so preaching doctrine, as to forget 
 to declare all the counsel of God, ail tiie precepts of the word 
 
222 MEMOIRS OK 
 
 Let them equally beware of so dwelling upon the preceptive 
 part of Scripture, as to forget the grand principles on which 
 alone it can be carried into effect. We may contend for prac- 
 tical religion, and yet neglect the practice of religion I should 
 not write ^thus, if I did not know that they would take kindly 
 the hints I may give of this sort, or any other.'* 
 
 « Jan. 27, 1800. 
 " Dr. Erskine, in a short note, told me, as well as you, that 
 he did not agree with me, in Part II. Chap. IV. of The Gospel 
 its oivn Witness, Note. Dr. Stuart is also alarmed about it. I 
 have received a long letter, from a very mild and judicious raan? 
 Mr. Aikman, of Edinburgh, which I have answered. The 
 question wholly turns on the nature of Christ*s merits. If they 
 be a purchase, in a literal sense, or, (to speak in other lan- 
 guage,) if they merit in a way of condignity, I am wrong: but 
 if only in a way of congruitij, it is otherwise. At present, the 
 latter appears, to me, to be the truth. — [l.] Because it seems 
 inconsistent with the perfection of the divine nature, to suppose? 
 that any thing done by any being whatsoever, can lay him under 
 obligation to bestow favour. * Who hath given to him, and 
 it shall be reckoned to him again V [2.] The sixteenth Psalm 
 appears, throughout, applicable to Christ, and is applied to him 
 in the New Testament ; and the person there speaking says, 
 « My goodness extendeth not to thee,' Sec. [3.] Christ was 
 made under the lanv ; which must mean as a covenant, seeing 
 it was to redeem us from under it. But, if so, must not the 
 )fiature, (I do not say the degree or value,) of his merits cor- 
 respond with what ours would have been, had we kept the law ? 
 In coming under the law, he took our place ; and he found us 
 exposed to the curse, and cut off from all hope of everlasting 
 life. By being made a curse, he atoned for the one ; and, by 
 being obedient unto death, he merited the other : that is, he did 
 that which was so iv til -pleasing to God, that he, (who always 
 delighted to pour forth blessedness in a way that should show 
 his love to righteousness,) for his sake, could, in perfect con- 
 sistency with his character, bestow eternal life on all that should 
 believe in him. 
 
MR. FULLEI&. 2*2S 
 
 " I take it for granted, that God*s love to liis creatures* is 
 such, that he naturally delights to pour forth the riches of his 
 goodness upon them ; provided it can be done without dishonour 
 to his character. We had placed ourselves in such a situation, 
 that this could not be done : but Christ, by his life and death, 
 did every thing that was lovely in his sight, and, being a divine 
 person, his obedience was of sufficient value to induce the 
 Father to justify millions for his sake. There was a glorious 
 congruity in God's pardoning sinners out of regard to his sac- 
 rifice, and blessing them with grace and glory, as the reward 
 of his obedience. 
 
 « Such appears, to me, to be the Scripture account of 
 Christ's merits ; and not that he laid the Father under such 
 obligations, that all he did would be a matter of strict right. 
 It is true, the forgiveness of our sins, and every other blessing, 
 is bestowed in perfect consistency vjiih justice ; yea, is an ex- 
 ercise of rc7mmerative justice towards Christ. Thus I under- 
 stand 1 John i. 9. ' He is faithful and just,' Sec. See 2 Thess.. 
 i. 6, 7." 
 
 "March 5, 1800, 
 " If the term ungodly^ in Rom. v. 6. means destitute of holi- 
 ness, must it not follow, that Christ did not die for the Old 
 Testament saints, who were at that time in heaven, nor for his 
 own disciples, or any of the good people, who lived at that 
 time ?" 
 
 "April 1, 1800. 
 
 " I have written Dr. Erskine a respectful letter, giving my 
 
 reasons for what 1 said in Part II. of The Gos/iel its onuii Wit- 
 
 7USS ; Chap. IV. explaining more fully, and proposing some 
 
 * Yes, and the righteous /.ore/ /ove//i righteousness : he (IeHG;ht8 t« 
 honour obedience to his own law ; how much, then, must he delight to 
 show himself w£;Jl-pleas('d, will) that obedience of his incurnate Soii, by 
 which the law is'magaified and made honourable, more than it could have 
 been by the unfailing obedience of all mere creatures, both men and an- 
 gels, if no one of either specif? had ever been chargeable with the least 
 transgression. R. 
 
224 MEMOIRS OP 
 
 little alteration in the note ; which he since acknowledges to 
 Ijc satisfactory. I have much headache ; my wifu, who has 
 been ill, is absent ; my children ill ; my head and hands full ; 
 but my heart is supported. I had a melting time, at the 
 Lord's supper, last Sabbath.'* 
 
 « May 6, 1800. 
 " You have heard of the death of dear Brother Grant ! Well ; 
 how mysterious is God's way ! But wc shall approve it, when 
 we fully understand it. We had a terrible hail-storm, on Lord's 
 day, between noons. The stones were as large as pigeons 
 eggs, and broke all our windows which stood in a south-west 
 direction. People fled to the meeting, I thought, like Joab to 
 the altar. I preached to them on Jesus delivering us from the 
 wrath to come. I Thes. i. 10. The storm was accompanied 
 with terrible thunder and lightning" 
 
 « Sept. 9, 1801. 
 " I had a letter, about a week ago, from one of tiie Scotch 
 Baptists, about orc?er, discipline, &c III as I was. I scratched 
 out the following parable. Dr. Stuart [wno was then on a 
 visit at Kettering, on account of Mr Fuher's severe illness,] 
 saw it, and he was so much amused with it, that he must needs 
 copy it. * In one of the new Italian Republics, two independ- 
 ent companies are formed for the defence of the country. Call 
 the one ji., and the other B. In forming themselves, and learn- 
 ing their exercise, they each profess to follow the mode of dis- 
 cipline used by the ancient Romans. Their officers, uniforms, 
 and evolutions, however, are, after all, somewhat different from 
 each other. Hence, disputes arise, and B refuses to march 
 against the enemy with ^^ as being disorderly. ^ gives his 
 reasons why he thinks himself orderly : but they are far from 
 satisfying -C, who not only treats him as deviating from rule, 
 but as almost knowing himself to do so, and wilfully persisting 
 in it. ^, tired of jarring, marches against the enemy by him- 
 self. B sils at home, deeply engaged in studying order and 
 discipline. * If your forms and rules, (says ^,) are so prefera- 
 ble to ours, why do you not make use of them ? Discipline is 
 a mean, not an end. Be not always boasting of your order, and 
 
MR. FULLER. 225 
 
 reproaching others for the want of it ; let us see the use of it. 
 It is true, like the Quakers in 1745, you have bought waistcoats 
 for our soldiers, and we thank you for them ; but we had rather 
 you would fight yourselves.' "* 
 
 "Dec. 1, 1801. 
 
 « I allow you and Brother SutclifF to excel me in wisdom ; 
 
 especially in foreseeing difficulties : but I fancy I excel you 
 
 both, (if it be an excellence,) in courage. I, therefore, wish 
 
 to advise with you both ; but to execute without you." 
 
 "Dec. 21, 1801. 
 
 " I have lately had another heavy trial. Yet, under all, 
 blessed be God, my heart is fixed, trusting in him. I have sel- 
 dom enjoyed more habitual rest m God, than of late. O now 
 sweet it is to have no will of my own, but that of God ! I know 
 I have an interest in your intercessions, and those of many 
 other dear friends. 
 
 " A respected friend has repeatedly pressed me to write a 
 treatise on Spiritual Pride, on the same plan as tlie Backslider. 
 I have thought somewhat on the subject, and begun writing. 
 This would tend to detect that subtle spirit, whicn is, 1 am. 
 persuaded, fostered by Sandemanianism — Utand by thyself, 
 for I am holier than thou. But I feel myself much more 
 capable of depicting ^iitiiiomian pride, than the other. For , 
 this purpose I have procured Huntingdon's works. But, in 
 reading them, 1 am stopped for a time. 1 have eight or nine 
 volumes ! 1 never read any thing more void of true religion. 
 I do not think of naming him, or his works, or those ot any 
 other person ; but merely to draw pictures, and let the reader 
 judge who they are like." 
 
 I received a long letter from him, on the 19th of August, 
 1802, containing the copy of a very mild, respectful, and 
 
 * ** Though Mr. M*L. pleads for addresses to the unconverted, yet 1 un- 
 derstand he scarcely ever addresses them. And I am informed, thai it is 
 very rare for any instances of conversion to be heard of, under their 
 preaching." 
 
 29 
 
226 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 Cliristian expostulation, with an aged and venerable minister, 
 who had indulged some unjust suspicions towards him, and 
 spread reports pretty extensively, to his disadvantage ; but, a^: 
 they are now both together in a world full of light and love. 
 and will never misunderstand one another again, I choose 
 rather to omit inserting it. I think it would be much to the 
 credit of my dear departed brother, in the judgment of all im- 
 partial readers, but I shall wave publishing it, unless I should, 
 hereafter, be compelled to do so, by such as resemble the 
 other glorified saint in little else but his defects. This letter 
 was received just before his journey to Scotland : I had 
 another from Glasgow, on the same subject, Sept. 18, and a 
 third after his return, Oct. 8th. In the last, he observes :— 
 " The kindness of the Scotch, and their attention in hearing, 
 has been very great. On the week-day, all denominations 
 came to hear ; and many, who had been prejudiced, seemed 
 to have their prejudices removed." 
 
 "Dec. 2,1802. 
 " As to my writing about Antinomianism^ or answering M'L. 
 the truth is, I have, for the last six or eight months, had such a 
 throng of other labour, that I cannot write any thing. Two 
 or three days is all I have been able to bestow on M'L. 
 either to read or to write. I never meant any direct attack on 
 the system of Hunt ; but was writing, when Messrs. Palmer 
 and Lowell spoke to me something on Sfiiritual Pride^ in 
 which that system had a conspicuous station. But I have 
 •not been able to touch it, since last February. Incessant 
 journeys confound me, a»d lead to incessant correspondence." 
 
 "March 6, 1803. 
 " You ask, in your notes on my manuscript on imputation, 
 * Did not Christ deserve^ (at least by comjiact^') that his see- 
 ing of the travail of his soul should be insured to him I* 
 Certainly: and I think it is an, exercise, not merely o{ faith- 
 fulnessy for Gud to forgive our sin for his sake ; but ol re- 
 munerative justice : it is fit and right, that the God of right- 
 eousness should so express his approbation of the sufferings 
 
MR. FULLER. 227 
 
 and death of Christ. So far, I think Christ merited, deserved, 
 or, if you please parchased our redemption : but it was not 
 v/ith such a kind of purchase, as that wherein a creditor, for 
 value received of a surety, liberates a debtor ; which renders 
 the deliverance an act of justice, and not of grace. [Were it 
 so,] whatever grace there might have been in the provision of 
 the surety, there would be no room for the creditor to be said 
 to have freely forgiven the debt. If we had borne the full penalty 
 of the law in our own persons, (could that have been,) our libera- 
 tion would have been an act which justice mighi have required^ 
 in a different sense irom what it does now. But, as the penalty, 
 though fully borne, was borne by a substitute, we can have 
 no claim for deliverance, except what arises irom promise, that 
 is, from grace : we hav€ no more claim, than if Christ had not 
 died ; but can only plead for mercy in his name. As to your 
 neighbour's question, I freely answer, Christ had resfiect, in- lay- 
 ing down his life, to the elect only, as those who should be ulti- 
 mately benefited by it. He asks, ' Is there any great differ- 
 ence between saying. That, in consequence of the mediation of 
 Christ, God may pardon returning sinners, if he willeth so to 
 do ; and [saying that he may] exercise mercy in all the meth- 
 ods whicih sovereign wisdom sees fit to adopt ?' Answer. The 
 former leaves it to the free-will of man to return to God ; the 
 latter gives the Holy Spirit, according to promise made to 
 Christ, to insure believing and salvation ; which is the turning" 
 point between Arminianism and Calvinism. 
 
 " As to Mr, McLean's complaint, I did suppose him to be the 
 author of a pamphlet to which I referred in my Appendix ; 
 but, long before his answer came out, I discovered my mistake? 
 and desired Mr. Broughton, who was then at Edinburgh, to make 
 my respects to him, and to say I was very sorry for the mistake, 
 but could not now recal it. He complained, not to' me at the 
 time, but in print, that I did not advertise my mistake in a mag- 
 azine, to which I should have had no objection, but the thing 
 escaped me, through a multitude of other concerns." 
 
 <* March 29, 1804. 
 
 " I hope Mr. 's conduct will be of some use to me. 
 
 I had had enough of * good report' for a sinful creature to 
 
22(r MESIOIRS OP 
 
 bear ; and am now inclined to think, though I was not aware? 
 of it before, that I have too much rested in the approbation of 
 men. The * evil reports' which have been set on foot, have 
 tended to drive me from that uncertain g^round, and to cause 
 me to feel more deeply the necessity of doing every thing with 
 an eye to the approbation of God. 
 
 " The state of our churches much affects me. I do not like 
 removals, ' when lightly made. Some of our ministers seem 
 bitten by a gad-fly-'* 
 
 In January, 1804, he visited Portsea; v/here he informed me, 
 that he met with much kind treatment, and collected 107/. \5s, 
 3d He preached at Frome, by the way, to a large congrega- 
 tion. Some of the good people at Portsea had been rather 
 prejudiced against him, and he had heard some unfavourable 
 reports of them ; but both sides parted, seemingly with a better 
 opinion of each other. One person said to him, 'Sir, I was 
 greatly disappointed in you ' — Yes, and I in you.' — ^ I mean, in 
 hearing you last Lord's day morning; I did not expect to hear 
 such a sermon from you.' — ' Perhaps so ; and I did not expect 
 such treatment from you. I had heard things of the Portsea 
 people, which gave me but a mean opinion of them ; but I have 
 hitherto no cause to complain ; so that we are both agreeably 
 disappointed.' — ' Well, but I do not like your book.' — * You 
 do not understand it.' — ' Oh, 1 cannot believe faith to be a duii/ ; 
 we cannot believe.' — ' You seem to think we ought to do nothing 
 but what we can do.' — ' True.' — ' And we can do nothing.' — 
 * True ' — < Then we ought to do nothing . . . and if so, we have 
 no sin, and need no Saviour.' — *0 no, no, no! I want to talk 
 more with you.' — ' Yes, but the mischief is you cannot count 
 five.' — ' What do you mean ?' — ' First, you say, we ought to do 
 nothing but what we can do. Secondly, we can do nothing; 
 Then I say, thirdly, we ought to do nothing. Fourthly, we have 
 no sin. Fifthly, we need no Saviour.' After all, this person, 
 and all of that stamp, were greatly interested in the preaching, 
 and pressed me to go to their houses ; would have it, that I 
 was of their principles, kc. and were much concerned, 
 when I went away. I told them, I thought very differently from 
 them, in various respects ; but they took all well : and I prayed 
 with them before we parted." 
 
MR. FULLEK. 22^. 
 
 In February, he drew up a memorial, which was presented to 
 the Privy Council, against a law passed by the Jamaica Assem- 
 bly, subversive of liberty of conscience ; which was favourably 
 received. The particulars are too long to be inserted here. 
 
 In June, he visited Ireland. He wrote to me, from Dublin, 
 on the 6th ; mentioning, that he arrived there on the preceding 
 Saturday, and had preached three times, on the Lord's day ; but 
 the congregations were small. He says, " My heart is dis- 
 mayed to see the state of things here. The great body of the 
 people are Papists. Even the servants, in almost every family, 
 are Papists. The congregations are only a few genteel people, 
 Scattered about the place. They appeared to me like the heads 
 at Temple Bar, without bodies. A middle class of people is 
 wanting; and the poor are kept distinct, by what appears as 
 strong as the caste in India. I preached at the Baptist meeting, 
 in Swift's Alley, morning and evening, and for Dr. M'Dowal,at 
 the Presbyterian chapel : I might preach, perhaps, to 50 in the 
 morning ; to 200 in the afternoon, in a place that would hold 
 1000 ; and to 50 more, in the evening. 
 
 <* I have been much engaged in company, yesterday and 
 Monday. I was visited,- yesterday, by Mr. Walker, a Sandema- 
 nian clergyman, who has considerable influence in this city, and 
 who pronounces, of one of the dissenting ministers here, that he- 
 preaches the gospel, (because he seems likely to embrace San- 
 demanianism,*; but the Baptist and the Moravian! ministers do 
 not ! I found him, like most of the sect, calm, acute, versed in 
 the Scriptures, but void of feeling. He reminded me of Dr, 
 Byrom's lines, — 
 
 f'TisJ Athens' owl, and not mount Eon's dovc^ 
 The bird of learning, not the bird of love. 
 
 « I am told, that one of this stamp lately prayed in public, 
 •Lord, give me head-knowledge ; the rest I leave to thee.' The 
 clergyman said to me, < there are many who call themselves 
 Calvinists who are as far from the truth as Arminians. I asked; 
 
 • He is since recovered from this iafeetioa. 
 
 t Mr. Hartly, a roost pious, amiable, and intelligent man, noyr mad* 
 perfect- 
 
230 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 ;vhat Calviuists he referred to, and what sentiments ? He said, 
 * Those who hold with cjualiji cations as necessary to warrant a 
 sinner's believing.' I answered, I did not know who they were that 
 beheved so. Mr. Stennett, who sat by, said, ' Some of the high 
 Calvinists might.' I assented to this, but said, I utterly disap- 
 proved of it ; though I could not, as Mr. W. seemed to do, con- 
 demn all, as graceless, who held it. He seemed surprised, and 
 expressed his pleasure that I disapproved of the principle ; 
 plainly proving, that he, with other Sandemanians, confounds 
 our pleading for an holy disposition as necessary to believing, 
 [or necessary to i?iciine us to believe,] with pleading for it, as 
 giving us a nvarrant to believe." 
 
 I omit entering on a detail of the state of the Baptist church 
 at Swift's Alley, into which they invited Mr. Fuller to examme, 
 and to give them his advice. Discipline had long been neg- 
 lected ; very discordant sentiments were entertained by the 
 members of the church ; and some were sadly conformed, in 
 their manners, to the dissipation common among those who are 
 wholly men of the world. Mr. F. certainly acted a very con- 
 scientious and decided part, under the evident influence of 
 inflexible uitegrity and zeal for truth and purity. But his efforts, 
 at that time, had but little success. All our Irish churches had 
 long been in a very low state. Yet things are now more prom- 
 ising, in that kingdom, than for many years back.* 
 
 "Aug. 20, 1804. 
 " I have, of late, been much tried in preaching. Whep I 
 have gone into the pulpit, I have had, in a manner, nothing to 
 sav ; and yet, when engaged, have not only been carried through? 
 but have felt the subject more than usually interesting. My 
 heart often shrhiks at the state of the churches in our Associa- 
 tion, and of my own congregation, and, what is worst of all, at my 
 own unfruitfulncss. The week before las', I was much im- 
 pressed in reading John xv. 5 — 7. concluding, that, if I dwelt in 
 Christ, and Christ's words in me, I should be more successful 
 
 • See the Ueports of the Baptist Society for promoting the Gospel IB 
 Ireland, hy establishing bcliools for teaching the native Irish, &o. 
 
MR. FULLER. 231 
 
 in prayer. The next Lord's day, I preached from the seventh 
 verse, with much interest, on the connexion bet^Teen these 
 things. Yesterday, having been discouraged by s(?veral things 
 in the church, I preached from 1 Tiies. iii. 8. ♦ We live, if ye 
 stand fast in the Lord,' on the connexion between the latter and 
 the former, I have, of late, felt some earnest longings of mind, 
 that 1- might know Christ, and the power of his resurrection, 
 Sec. All that I have yet known seems to be as nothing. I dare 
 not pray for trials ; but, if the heaviest affliction might but issue, 
 as did that of brother M. I think I could welcome it. At those 
 times in which! have felt my unfruitfulness most, I have thought 
 of John XV. 2. and have trembled, lest God should take me away, 
 and prayed that he would not do this, huifmi^ge me, that I might 
 bring forth more fruit : while such are the exercises of my mind, 
 the idea of establishing one's refiutation at the expense of 
 another, is foreign and odious, nor am I conscious of such a de- 
 sire ever crossing my mind, even in the worst of frames." 
 
 "Feb. 28, 1805 
 « I have read Mr. Walker, of Dublin's pamphlet, on leaving 
 the church, and made a few remarks on two blank pages of it. 
 There is a great mixture of good and evil in these writings. He 
 is ingenious, and seems conscientious ; but the general cast of 
 his religion appears to have little of the humble, the holy, and 
 the affectionate. Strife seems to be his element. You have 
 pressed me to answer M-r. M'L. Others have been averse from 
 it. 1 believe I should have answered it long ago, but for the 
 length of it. It is not what he has written, but tlie quantity 
 of it that has confounded me. 
 
 " I preached, lately on John iii. 13. — .Vo one hath known the. 
 viind of God, .mve he that wa^ always with him^ and is still with 
 him, dwelling as in his bosom. See Deut. xxx. 12. Tlie de- 
 sign is, to teach us, that no man shall be able to find out the 
 heavenly wisdom, but he that cometh to Christ, and taketh 
 him for his guide Matth. xi. 27. I proprosed— -L To notice 
 a few particulars in which men have, in ail ages, r»een striving 
 to ascend to heaven, but striving in vain.--2. To sliow, how that, 
 in which all men have failed, is accomplished by Christ.*' 
 
\ 
 
 232 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 « March 9, 1^05. 
 « My remarks on Walker are but few. They are as ioUow : 
 ^1.] What he states as the gosfiel^ (p. 7 — 9.) is most surely be- 
 lieved by us ; and the belief of it with all the heart, considered 
 as saving faith. [2.] But, though the terms he uses, when 
 explaining the gospel, be, for aught I see, unexceptionable ; 
 yet, he appears, all along, to affix such ideas to them, as renders 
 the gos/iel, in his mouth, something different from what it i& 
 in ours ; and upon this undefined difference, he seems eager 
 to condemn the body of those whom we hope to be serious 
 Christians, as unbelievers. [3.] Though we do not call the 
 belief of the gospel ' a barren speculative notion * (p. 1 1 ) yet 
 we think there is such a thing, and that it is very common among 
 professing Christians, and no where more so, than among the 
 admirers of Sandeman. Such we reckon the ' faith without 
 works,' spoken of by James. [4.] Though we lay no stress 
 upon fai(h, < as an act or exercise of the mind,' as * forming 
 the ground of our hope ; yet we think it is an act, and an holy 
 one too, as much as repentance, hope, love, or any other grace;' 
 and that upon ' the right performance of this,* or, in other 
 words, upon the mind of man being brought to agree with the 
 mind of God in the gospel, depends the reality of our personal 
 religion. [5.] His former reasons in favour of establishments, 
 were, some of them ingenious, of which he seems sufficiently 
 aware ; (p. 2 — 9.) but, like many other of his reasonings, they 
 are distinguished more by their subtlety than by simplicity, 
 f 6.] His present reasons for leaving the church, and his state- 
 ment of the nature of a Christian church, appear to me very 
 good. His gloss on ] Tim. iii. 15. (p. 24, 25.) and his supposed 
 case of the answer of the church at Philippi, (p. 44 — 46.) are 
 excellent. Whether his church, at Dublin, answers to the pic- 
 ture he draws, is another question. If what 1 heard be truej 
 they are too much eaten up with spiritual pride, and employ 
 much of their time in condemning others. [7.3 With respect to 
 forming churches on the apostolic plan, there certainly are 
 * general rules ;' (in many cases however, that is ail ;) and to 
 these rules we ought inviolably to adhere. All connexions in 
 which these rules or commandments cannot be observed, oughtj 
 
MR. FULLEF. 233 
 
 for any thing I see to the contrary, to be withdrawn from. We 
 should liowever be careful, lest we make rules wliere Christ 
 and his apostles have not made them. [8.] The reasoning from 
 prayer and praise to the Lord's supper^ is, I think, sophistical. 
 These are moral duties, binding on all. Whether tl'Cy join in 
 them, or not, they ought so to do. But baptism and the Lord's 
 supper are positive institutes, which are not the immediate 
 duty of unbelievers. I acknowledge however, that when en- 
 gaged in prayer and praise, and ushig the plural pronouns, as 
 when I say, ^Fi? desire, &c. I always consider myself as johiing 
 with as many as do join in it, and ihat all others are mere spec- 
 tators. It is my duty to pray for them, and that in their presence ; 
 but not to consider them as parties in the petition. Yet it is 
 not for me to draw the line. There may be some who are out 
 of the pale of visible communion, vt'ho may join ; and others in 
 it who mav not join. If I were the head of a family where I had 
 no reason to think there were any Christian but myself, I would 
 pray publickly, without using any pronouns, plural or singular; 
 and should do the same before a congregation like that of Ste- 
 phen. I had understood, that Mr. W. refused to admit any but 
 the church, in time of prayer and praise ; but this, according to 
 his last page, does not seem to be accurate. I have heard, 
 that the church and spectators are in different rooms. — [Or, 
 have a visible mode of separation. ] If so, I believe it is far from 
 the spirit of the gospel." 
 
 "Feb. 3, 1806. 
 «... -Our enlargement will cost 1000 guineas. We have 
 full 400 yet to raise. I believe nearly 1 200 people crowded in, 
 at the funeral of one of our members, with whom you were long 
 well acquainted. We were in great danger of mischief, through 
 some rude boys, who excited an alarm of the galleries giving 
 way. We have humbled them before the justices, and yester- 
 day, they publickly begged pardon of the congregation. [And at 
 the same time a paper with their signatures, expressing their 
 contrition, was read in the other places of worship.] Mr. G« 
 made a good end. He said to me, a little before he died, < I 
 have been a great sinner ; but I have loved the Lord Jesus Christ 
 oO 
 
231 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 ... I have indulged in speculations ; but I have never lost 
 sight of Christ as the only way of salvation. Speculations are 
 nothing now . . . Christ is all and in all. He is my only hope . . 
 Works are nothing . . . I think nothing of them, but as evil.' 
 He repeated several hymns with much feeling ; particularly,— 
 < A guilty, weak, and helpless worm,' &c. and — ' Jesus, lover of 
 my soul,' he. He had all his servants and several of his work- 
 men round him, and talked to them very impressively. Eight 
 of our members have died within a few months, and have all 
 ended their course happily." 
 
 "June 6, 1806. 
 
 " While in London, I had an uncommon share of labour. I 
 collected upwards of 800 pounds in three weeks. Our Associa- 
 tion at Leicester was very pleasant. The increase this year, was 
 88. The prayers of some of our young ministers did my heart 
 good. A poor collier at Loscoe, seems to have been very useful 
 among the poor ; 29 were added this year to that church. A 
 poor man also of the church at Braunston, went up a few years 
 since, to work at Ivinghoe, in Buckinghamshire ; and by talking 
 to the poor ignorant people, has been the instrument of raising 
 a church, of above 20 members. 
 
 " A day or two ago, I received a letter from Mr. Robert 
 Ralston of Philadelphia, informing me that the 1000 guineas 
 taken thither by Capt. Wikes, had by the benevolence of our 
 American brethren, become 6724 dollars, (about 1550 pounds,) 
 6024 of which had been sent to Mr. Carey, in the Baindridge, 
 Capt. Josiah, free of freight, and most of them gratuitously 
 insured, by kind friends underwriting them. I have written an- 
 swers, with thanks to the parties. 
 
 «... The great defect of Sandeman's faith, is its being 
 denied to have any thing holy in its nature. Mr. Scott's piece, 
 therefore is to the point. The faith which justifies, supposes 
 repentance. This is manifest by all those Scriptures which 
 teach that repentance is necessary to forgiveness, which for- 
 giveness is an essential part of justification. It is not enough to 
 say, faith produces repentance. This it does, as all the graces 
 promote each other ; but it includes it, as much as justification 
 
MR. FDLLKK. 235 
 
 includes pardon, without being pardon.* The gospel is indeed 
 suited to men's circumstances^ as guilty, ungodly, &c. but not to 
 their /iro/icTZAzV/V*, which it must be if it were such as an ungodly 
 mind could comply with. * No blessing can be obtained^ pre- 
 vious to faith in Christ.' True : but if it be not bestoroed pre- 
 viously, how came we to believe ? We are apfirehtnded^ in order 
 to our ajifirehending. Mr. M's reasoning would explain away 
 all divine influence as necessary to believing, or any influence, 
 except that of evidence. He has ' read no controversy,' he 
 says ; but he has got his ideas from others. I wish he would 
 read Mr. Scott. \i seeing the Son were made an emit ling qual- 
 ification to believing in him, it might be injurious ; but to make 
 it necessary, in the nature of things^ is different. Believing the 
 gospel is an immediate duty ; but in what way ? believing it 
 impenitently ? Surely not. By this reasoning, it is not a sinner's 
 duty to think, and examine evidence till after he has believed ; 
 lest such thinking should be an entitling condition. Respecting 
 the priority of repentance and faith ; if by faith, be meant faith 
 in God as a righteous governor, it precedes repentance : for we 
 cannot be sorry for ofl*ending God, without believing him to be 
 holy, just and good : but faith in our Lord Jesus Christ follows 
 repentance towards God : for there is no grace in the gospel, but 
 upon the supposition oi God being in the right, and we in the 
 wrong ; and consequently, none to be believed in."t 
 
 * Or, as the terminus ad quern must include a terminus a qxio ; the object 
 to which we turn, must include somewhatyrom which we turn. K, 
 
 •f- Can I believe a suretj paid ten thousand talents for me, to a person to 
 •whom 1 never believed that 1 owed an hundred pence ? If 1 admitted such 
 u fact, I must think the creditor unjust^ and the surety unwise While I 
 verily believe the claim to have been illegal, whatever might have been 
 my surety's kind intention in paying it, 1 must secreUy think mysell injur- 
 ed by his admitting it, as well as by the creditor's demanding it; and, cer- 
 tainly I cannot sincerely admire the kindness-, of the latter, in accepting pay- 
 ment from the former, instead of demanding it from me. — If a mediator 
 has plainly admitted, that I was infinitely to blame, can 1 be much obliged to 
 him, unless 1 view my conduct in the same light ? Surely, a man still at 
 enmity with the law cannot embrace the genuine gospel. No man can 
 come to Christ with his back towards him : no man can think well of 
 Christ's salvation, and still think favourably of sin. k. 
 
MEMOIRS OF 
 
 Mr. Fuller tlicn refers to a most amiable and promisliig young' 
 man, w.iu soon became so infected with the spirit of Irish San- 
 demanianism, as to refuse to unite in aiiy act of worship with a 
 person pretty nearly of the same sentiments, merely because the 
 latter wouid not refuse to kneel down at family prayer with those 
 -vvhu were not of their caste, nor to stand up, wiiile another Chris- 
 tian asked a blessing-. No other species ot Sandemanians have I 
 heard of, wno carry their marked scfiar<ition from all other pro- 
 fess<jrs of religion to so extravai;^ani a length. The spirit of 
 the gospel resembles the principle of attraction, in the natural 
 world ; but this spirit is like the principle of rcfiidsioji, which 
 would crumble the whole church into discordant atoms. 
 
 The- wliole of this letter was three folio pages, closely written. 
 Mr. F. adds: *' 1 have several more letters to write, to-day." 
 T:ie amount of his writing to correspondents was almost incred- 
 ible. In the next letter but one, he complains of being- quite 
 overdone with it. 
 
 January 13, 1807, he mentions hearing from Mr. Ralston, 
 that the Americans liad more than doubled the thousand guineas. 
 " They have done great things in the city and neighbourhood of 
 Boston. Could I but get time to draw out the Cash Account, 
 our next Number would presently be out. But I am interrupt- 
 ed continually, by strangers connng to see me. 1 almost wish 
 I could shut myself up in a monastery." 
 
 « March 1, 1807. 
 " I am distressed to think of our want of humble, spiritual, 
 and disinterested characters to send on evangelical expeditions. 
 \U.Q has immediate reference to Ireland.] Poor dear Brother 
 SutclifT is beginning to recover from the dreadful typhus fever ; 
 but his family continues afilicted. Richards, the student from 
 Wales, who was given over for dead, and raised as from the 
 dead, is now in imminent danger of a decline. Mr. R. Hall is 
 with us to-day. He made the annual collection for the Mission, 
 at Leicester, and has consented to go to Nottingham, on the 
 same business. He is well, and seems more tlian ever ardent 
 in his attachment to evangelical religion. 
 
MR. FULLER. 237 
 
 ** Thoiipjh I certainly think with you, that the spirit of San, 
 denianianisni is hostile to the great law of attraction, and dis- 
 approve of several of its leading* doctrines ; yi^t there are many 
 things, wiiich some would call Sandemanianisni, which are 
 things of the first importance. 
 
 " The Eclectic Review of my Dialogues was designed, I 
 believe, to make me appear to be an Arniinian, as, no doubt, the 
 reviewer was. They were chagrined on receiving my letter ; 
 but knew not what to do with it I desired it might be inserted 
 -verbatim^ or else returned, that I might consider of some other 
 means of maknif^ it public. They did very well ; and its ap- 
 pearance in that form will do more towards making known my 
 real sentiments, than any thing I could have published. 
 
 " Their review of Thornton Abbey was very dishonorable. 
 It appeared to be the work of an Episcopalian ; yet it was not 
 
 so. It was written by Mr. ; and was so full of sneers 
 
 against the Baptists, that the editor found it necessary to sup- 
 press a part of them. I have no doubt, but that the Episcopa- 
 lian was assumed^ merely to covei the antipathy of the Pcedo- 
 bapti.st. In the answer to Mr. Satchell's letter to them, he 
 makes him to have declared the reverse of what he did declare ; 
 and now refuses to acknowledge it. i am sorry, that this ob- 
 liges me to think of him lower than I was used to do." 
 
 In a letter, dated October 31, 1807, he mentions having been 
 on a journey, in company with a very respectable Paedobaptist 
 minister, of whom he relates several particulars that do honour 
 to both ; but which I should not like to insert, without full per- 
 mission from the person to whom they refer, with whom I iiave 
 not the pleasure of being acquainted. I take the liberty of 
 copying a few lines. " I never saw more godliness, candour, or 
 humility, in any one. He talked with me, among other things, 
 about Baptism and Strict Communion. ' I think, (said he, before 
 a number of his friends) you have a catholic heart: I should 
 like to know the grounds on which you act ; and I am almost 
 sure they are not temper or bigotry.' When I had stated them^ 
 
23B MEMOIRS OF 
 
 lie answered, < Well ; I think I can see the conscientiousness of 
 your conduct, and am therefore glad I asked you.' "* 
 
 « May 27, 1808. 
 " I lately found sweet relief, under some cares, about my 
 cliildren, in Archbishop Leighton's discourse, on I Pet. v. 7.'* 
 
 On the 9th of December, after mentioning- some troubles in 
 his church and in his family, he adds : " Ail these things to- 
 gether form a constant load to the mind : yet I have hitlierto 
 been enabled to cast it on Him who careth for us, and, consid- 
 ering all things, am comfortably supported. It seemed almost 
 a strange thing, yesterday, that I should be able to emerge from 
 all these cares, and sit down, and write the review of a pam- 
 phlet. As soon as I had done it, I went at two o'clock, to our 
 Committee, and staid till nearly eight." 
 
 "March 2, 1810. 
 " There appears to be so much of an earnest inquiry after 
 salvation, among our young people, that I feel it necessary to be 
 absent from them as short a time as possible. We have a 
 weekly meeting, in the vestry, for all who choose to come for 
 conversation. Four have been accepted, and wait for baptism." 
 
 "Dec. 28, 1810, 
 " I hope the Lord is at work among our young people. Our 
 Monday and Friday night meetings are much thronged." 
 
 «Feb. 27, 1811. 
 
 " The Friday evening discourses are now, and have been, 
 
 for nearly a year, much thronged, because they have been 
 
 • This was tnw candour, for which it would be in vain to look among 
 many who make the loudest professions of it. I have often thought, that 
 as humiliCtj is the worst thing in tlie world for ary one to boast of, so can- 
 dour is in this respect, the next to it. I'he truly candid mnn feels it so 
 natural and proper for him to treat his brethren with affeciion and re- 
 spect, that he neter expresses a kind of surprise at his doi.ng so, nor 
 expects others to applaud him for feeliug and acting as he is sensible he 
 ought to do. U. 
 
MR, FULLER. 239 
 
 laaoslly addressed to persons under some concern about their 
 salvation.'* 
 
 "Jan. 1813. 
 
 « If I have written under too strong feeling, my dear Brother, 
 it is not because I suspect your want of kindness, nor, in gene- 
 ral, your want of judgment ; but in matters between us and 
 some others, I think you have suffered yourself, from a love of 
 peace, to be mislead by flimsy professions. I should be sorry, 
 if any thing I have written should grieve you, or prevent your 
 free remonstrances in future, whenever you think I am getting 
 Avrong. If I know a little of your blind side, you know as 
 much or more of mine. I hope we shall get on together, and 
 see reason to love and warn each other, as occasion requires. I 
 wish to shun all strife, but what cannot, in justice, be avoided." 
 
 I believe, that whoever attempts to guess at the subject to 
 v/hich this letter refers, will probably be mistaken. I insert it, 
 enly as one instance illustrating the nature of our friendship 
 
 "May 28, 1813. 
 
 « The Moravian Missions, I hear, suffer a loss of £ 2000. a 
 
 year, by the war on the continent, and are in distress. Let us 
 
 vote ihem 100 guineas. We have lately received C 2000. from 
 
 America, for the loss by fire." 
 
 « Sept. 7, IBIS. 
 " I perceive, from my last journey to Scotland, some new 
 tendencies in the Sandemanian system. Its object is to anni- 
 hilate the ministry of the gospel ; to be all teachers ; to have 
 no one paid for it, &c. Sec. There is some tough work for them, 
 1^ M'Leod's Essay Sf against the Exhortations of the Brethren" 
 
 " March 24, 1814. 
 « I have just received an alarming letter from Olney, and 
 must go, if possible, to see our dear brother, to-morrow. Brother 
 Sutcliff Avas kept ten days in London, took two days to get 
 home, his legs swell, blisters were applied, which drew water. 
 They fear he has water in his chest ; he cannot lie down, for 
 
240 MPMOrRS OF 
 
 want of breath, but sits, night after nijj;ht, in a larpje chair. 
 Well ; thf. irovcrnineat is on his shoulders ; ours wiil soov. be 
 from under the load ; but, while wc are rcducintj; in number, 
 and increasini^ in labour, it mav be the iieavier for a time. 
 God grant wc may timsh our course with joy 1'* 
 
 "June 25, 1814, 
 " Yesterday I returned fron^ London, where we had a pleas- 
 ant meeting:. On Monday morning, the 20th, I took a final 
 leave of dear Brother Sutcliff. Wnile I was in town, I heard 
 that he departed on Wednesday evening, very happy in the 
 Lord. I meant to set off, on Monday, for Liverpool ; but must 
 defer it till Wednesday, on account of Brother Sutcliff's fune- 
 ral, which I must attend. He has left a passage to be improved 
 — Jude 21. 
 
 " Mr. Kinghorn preached an excellent sermon for the Step- 
 ney Institution, on Thursday morning.* I hope, some good 
 will arise to Ireland from the Society formed in London." 
 
 Other extracts I shall reserve for the Chapter which relates 
 to his afflictions and death ; and some I have inserted in that 
 which contains an account of his exertions on behalf of the 
 Baptist Mission. Several more, which are inserted in this 
 Chapter, might have been connected with the others with equal 
 propriety. But, though T wish to show all due respect to the 
 public, I found myself unable to make a more exact arrange- 
 ment, without a much longer delay ; and, if my chief object be 
 obtained, wliich is the profit of my readers, by a faithful rep- 
 resentation of the spirit, principles, and exemplary conduct of 
 my departed friend, I must be content- though I should not ob- 
 tain any farther applause as his biographer. I sb.ould have been 
 glad, had I been better able to subserve the end I have stated 
 above ; but. in a very short time at most, neither the praise nor 
 censure of men will be able to affect me in the least. 
 
 • This Sermon, and another equally , vaUiahle, preachefl before the 
 Bristol Fi(lu('«t(On Socitty, on the 3(1 of Au^ti'st foliowiiiij;, h;ive bt-ea 
 printefl •ojy.-ther, entitled, Advice and Encouragement to Young Minis* 
 ters. Price it. R. 
 
MR* FULLER, 241 
 
 I shall only add in this Chapter, two or three valuable let- 
 ters of Mr. F. which have been transmitted to me by other 
 friends. 
 
 I have one to a worthy minister near London, which would 
 tend, as well as several sent to myself, to show his sincere 
 respect for Mr. B. and his earnest concern to remove the preju- 
 dices which that good man had indulged against him : but, as I 
 omitted copying the latter, so I shall, for the same reason, 
 insert only a short extract from the former. 
 
 "April 29, 1805. 
 
 " For years, I have been labouring to conciliate and satisfy 
 him. Several times, he has advanced charges against me, often 
 changed his ground, but again returned to the charge in another 
 form. In 1802, he understood me to disown the doctrines of 
 imfiutation and substitution^ and circulated it far and wide. I 
 denied the charge ; he asked for an explanation. Well ; I 
 wrote an explanation of my sentiments to Dr. R. and Dr. R. 
 lent it to Mr. B. He read it, acknowledged he had misunder- 
 stood me, was sorry for it, and hoped I would overlook it. I as- 
 sured him, 1 was satisfied, and should think no more of it. He 
 asked me to preach for him. I did so. We parted, so far as I 
 knew, in brotherly love. Yet, without any thing fresh occurring, 
 at the monthly meeting, Sept. 22, 1803, he held up my statement, 
 as he supposed, as being * next to nonsense.' Having seen 
 a copy of what he said, I told him again, the next time I saw him, 
 that he had misunderstood me. He represented me, as holding 
 the peculiarity of redemption to consist in the sovereignty of its 
 afiplication ; but I had said no such thing. At length he prints 
 the sermon, avails himself of my correction, and yet sets off, 
 in his Appendix, as if he had not ; takes my ivords, at last, 
 but distorts and perverts them. In the first three pages of his 
 Appendix, he represents me, as confounding a thing with its 
 application ; whereas my words, even as quoted by himself, 
 prove I do not. 
 
 « I place the peculiarity of redemption, not in the afifilication 
 of the atonement, which he, all along, supposes me to do, but 
 in the sovereign pleasure of God concerning its application j 
 
 n 
 
242 MEAfOIHS OF 
 
 between which there is an equal difFerence, as between electron 
 and vocation.* 
 
 *t My sentiments may be seen in Hannah Adamses View of 
 Reli^ions^ under the Article, Calvinists, which was of my own 
 drawing; up." 
 
 But I shall enter no farther upon this subject, unnecessarily. 
 I knew much about it at the time, and have many documents 
 by me, which justify me, in accounting that this venerable and 
 excellent man was betrayed into an excess of suspicion, &c. 
 towards my departed friend. But, I am sure, the latter would 
 not wish me to make the narrative of his life a memorial of 
 some imperfection of judgment or temper, in one whom he 
 so sincerely venerated, and who was made perfect before him. 
 
 It is simply from a regard to iniportant truth, that I tran- 
 scribe another letter to the same friend, in which Mr. B. is 
 mentioned unavoidably. It was written a little before Mr. 
 Sutcliff's death, about April, 1814. 
 
 « I had not seen the Review of Mr. B's Works, when I read 
 yours, which was last night, on my return from Olney ; but have 
 seen it since. If Mr. B. meant no more, than to intimate, that 
 a consciousness of a holy state of mind was not necessary to 
 believing in Jesus ; this were no more than we all say. But, 
 surely, your construction of Mr. B. is what he himself would 
 have disowned. All through his Second Chapter, (Glad Ti- 
 dings^) he confounds a warrant to come to Christ, with coin- 
 ing to him. A sinner may be unwilliiig to come to Christ for 
 life, and yet have a warrant to do so ; but he cannot actually 
 come to Christ for life, while he is unwilling. The title of that 
 Chapter is one thing, and its running title another ; but he 
 pleads for both : though, when he comes to meet objections, as 
 in Chap. III. p. 129, he is obliged to confine it to one. One 
 
 • In a letter to Mr. Sutcliff, July 4, 1805. he mentioned Mr. M«Lean's 
 tellinj? him, that he was «u8pt*ctefl by his friend8, of Arminianism, or what 
 led to it F *M)n what grounds ?" M *' On what you have written ou 
 the peculiarity of redemption consisting in its ^pplicjirion." F. *• I have 
 never said so My sentiment is, that it consisis, nor in its application, but 
 in the design of the Father and the Son respecting its application." M. 
 *• That is very different frotu the Other, and is not Armiaianisjn i bat as 
 f^sr as 1 can see, the truth." 
 
MR. FULLER. 243 
 
 half of his reasonings are aimed, if they aim at any thing, to 
 prove that no holiness is necessary to coming to Christ, any 
 more than to noarrant our coming ; and if so, faith must be an 
 act of an ungodly mind. 
 
 <' / should not only admit, that a consciousness of holiness is 
 not necessary to coming to Christ, but that such consciousness 
 is Impossible. The power of sight is necessary to seeing ; 
 but no man can be conscious of possessing that power, but by 
 seeing. 
 
 " You do not understand the propriety of calling that influ- 
 ence by which we are regenerated, physical : yet you call it 
 ^supernatural^' which is the same thing. The influence of 
 means and motive is not supernatural. It is not physical, as 
 to iv/iat is produced. It is no new power, but the renewal of 
 the moral state of those powers which we already possessed. 
 But physical, as applied to influence, denotes tlie same as 
 supernatural, and stands opposed to the influence of motives 
 presented to the mind, which is commonly called moral influ- 
 ence. The holiness of man in innocence was physically pro- 
 duced, though the thing produced was moral. He was not per- 
 suaded, or induced, to be holy, but created in righteousness and 
 true holiness ; and so are we in regeneration. If in the first 
 instance, we are regenerated by means, it is. not a creation. See 
 my Strictures on Sandemanianism. pp. 146, 147. 
 
 " The preaching of the gospel certainly has a tendency to 
 bring the sinner back to God ; but this it may have, and yet not 
 be sufficient to accomplish it, without a supernatural interposi- 
 tion of divine power. The labours of Bunyan's four captains 
 had a tendency to reduce Mansoul, but were not sufficient. 
 
 " If new physical powers were produced, or necessary, men 
 would be under a natural inability to believe : but the moral 
 state of their hearts may be such, that nothing but a supernatural 
 influence can remove it ; while yet there is no other inability 
 than that which arises from aversion. 
 
 *< I am affectionately yours, 
 
 « A. FULLER." 
 
 «P. S. If you have read the Eclectic Review for this month, you 
 will see in the first article some things on this subject. If the 
 
^44 MEMOIRS or 
 
 evidence for the mind being renewed, in order to believiniv in 
 Christ, adduced in my Strictures on Sandema7iianisni,{^^Ao7 
 —142.) be not sufficient, I can say no more." 
 
 The following letter I have also been particlilarly requested 
 to insert, which he sent to the late Mr. M'Lean, of Edinburgh, 
 in 1797. 
 
 « Kettering, Aug. I79r. 
 « Dear Sir, 
 
 " If your letter had barely contained a statement of your 
 ideas on certain subjects on which I have already written ray 
 mmd, I might have declined a particular reply ; and this, oi 
 account of bodily indisposition and various necessary avocations, 
 would have been most agreeable to me. But, by the conse- 
 quences which you charge on my views of faith, and justification 
 by it, T am constrained to be explicit on this subject. 
 
 " The substance of what has been advanced on this subject is 
 reducible to three questions ; namely, Whether faith include in it 
 an exercise of the heart ? — If it do, whether it be not confounded 
 with iove and hope ? — And whether it render our justification, 
 aft(-;r all. a justification by works ? 
 
 " 1 had asked, * If faith Be a mere assent of the understanding, 
 and has noihmg of moral goodness in it, how can it be the object 
 of cominand ? how can it be a duty .?' You answer, * By a mere 
 assent of the understanding, you must inean, a belief of the 
 te&ttmony of God, grounded upon his authority and faithfulness.* 
 The v.Ty point in dispute is, Whether such a belief does not 
 include more than a mere assent of the understanding. To 
 suppose theretoie, that I must mean this, is to suppose that I 
 ^ must' grau you the very point in dispute. 
 
 '* The ihteliectual faculty I suppose, is capable of nothing 
 more than kno'tvledge ; but that faith or credence, is something 
 more than kncivlcdge. A man may understand that which he 
 does not believe ; yea, he cannot be said to disbelieve it, if he 
 understand nothing about it. An asscVit of the understanding is 
 a matter of judgment, which regards the mcanmg of the testifier ; 
 rather than of faith, which relates to tlie truth of the testimony : 
 
MR. FULLER. 245 
 
 and if it be merely an exercise of the understanding, that is, if 
 it be not influencea by any bias of heart, it contanss neither good 
 nor evil of a moral kind, but is purely natural. Such an assent 
 is not an object of command, and is not a duty ; nor is the oppo- 
 site of it a sin. Diligent and impartial examination is a duty ; 
 but I conceive that knowledge itself is not. It is true, there is 
 a knowledge to which eternal life is promised, which is duty ; 
 and an ignorance which is threatened with divine vengeance, 
 (2 Thes. i. 8.) and which therefore, must be sin. But neither 
 is tlie former a mere exercise of the intellectual faculty, nor the 
 latter a mere defect of that exercise. That ignorance which is 
 threatened with divine vengeance, you will allow, is a voluntary 
 ignorance, which includes a mixture of that evil temper which 
 hateth the light. See John viii. 43. Hence it is called the 
 blindness of the ^<?«r/, (Ephes. iv. 18.) Hence also ' David' in his 
 dialogue with 'Jonathan,' (p. 15.) very properly describes it as 
 an evil eye. And I suppose, that that knowledge to which 
 eternal life is promised, includes a mixture ot holy love. When 
 the terms knowledge and ignorance are used in this sense, as 
 they frequently are in Scripture, 1 consider them as used not in a 
 literal, but in a figurative sense ; as when God is said not to 
 knoiu certain characters at the day of judgment. 
 
 " David in his dialogue, admits of the distinction between 
 sfiiritual knowledge, and that which is merely speculative ; 
 though he contends, and tliat justly, that the latter ' implies some 
 very essential imperfection and error.* The reason of this im- 
 perfection and error is also very properly suggested by David. 
 His words are, * Alter all that we can say of the speculative 
 knowledge oi practical truth, we must still remember, that it 
 implies some very essential imperfection and error.' David 
 here seems to intimate, that practical truth is not discernible by 
 speculative knowledge. 
 
 ** Now, what David calls < speculative knowledge,* I call a 
 mere exercise of the intellectual or speculative faculty ; and so 
 for once, we are agreed that the knowledge of practical truth is 
 more than a mere exercise of intellect. Again, what he calls 
 spiritual knowledge, and which is the only true knowledge of 
 practical ttuth, is the same thing as that which I have spoken ot^ 
 
5246 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 as having the promise of eternal life connected with it. But 
 that which is ' spiritual,' whether it be knowledge or faith, 
 cannot be a mere exercise of the intellectual faculty ; ior the 
 very term ' spiritual,' denotes as much as holy : but holiness 
 necessarily includes some affection of the heart, and is not pred- 
 icable of simple intelligence. 
 
 " That which distinguishes faith from the mere exercise of 
 the intellectual faculty, and wnich constitutes its morality, is, 
 that it includes a treating of God either as the God of truth, or 
 as a liar. Hence, as you very properly express it, ' it is right to 
 believe all that God says, and exceedingly lurong to noid nim 
 as a liar.* You goon to ask, * Why may not benef be an object 
 of command, as well as love ?' Do 1 deny, then that it is so i If in- 
 deed, belief included nothing more than an exercise ot tiie intel- 
 lectual faculty 1 should deny it ; because 1 am pei buaded, tnat 
 the heart, and its genuine expression, is the wno^e ot waat God 
 requires of man : but, viewing belief as I uo, 1 readdy admit it 
 to be an object of command. You add, * And if it be both right 
 in itself, and the object of command^ it must certainly be a duty* 
 Very true. Sir, and in this short passage, you have said all 1 wish 
 to plead for. Whether you will allow the terms, moral good, 
 moral excellency, virtue, &c. to pertain to the nature ot taitii,or 
 not, while you adhere to this 1 am satisfied. 
 
 " If these be your views of faith, which 1 am persuaded is the 
 case, say what you will, you do not consider it as a natural, but 
 as a moral exercise. And while you allow faith to be ' right,* 
 you need not argue as you do—' That, though it should contain no 
 intrinsic virtue or moral excellence in itself, yet it does not follow 
 that unbelief could contain no sin.' Nor do I think this argu- 
 ment conclusive. You plead, that though there may be no 
 virtue in a thing, yet there may be sin in its opposite ; and in- 
 stance in the abstinence from various crimes ; eating when we 
 are hungry, and believing a human testimony, 8cc. There may 
 indeed, be no virtue in these things, as they are generally per* 
 formed by apostate creatures; but if they were performed as 
 God requires them to be, (which they should, to be the oppo- 
 sites of the sins you mention,) they would contain real virtue, 
 God requires us to abstain from all sin,/rom a regard ta hts 
 
MR. FULLER. 247 
 
 name ; to eat and drink, and do whatsoever we do, to his glory ; 
 and we are to credit the testimony of a friend, < when we have 
 reason to do so.* These things, thus performed would be truly 
 virtuous. Whatever is capable of being done by a moral agent, 
 with an eye to the glory of God, ought to be so done ; and if 
 it be so done, it is right or virtuous ; if not, it is wrong and 
 sinful. 
 
 " It appears to me, that the idea against which you argue, ia 
 merits rather than duty. I plead only /or duty^ which is the very 
 principle by which, according to the reasoning of our Lord, 
 merit is excluded. Luke xvii. 10. If it be necessary, in order 
 to < refuse some praise to the creature,' to deny that faith is a 
 virtuous exercise, it must be equally necessary to deny that it is 
 a right exercise, a commanded exercise, and what is part of our 
 duty ; for these are the same things. 
 
 " While you allow faith to be both « right in itself, and an 
 object of command, and consequently a duty,' to what purpose 
 do you object against my contending for its morality ? * If we 
 are not justified by faith as a virtue,' you say, ' of what import- 
 ance is it to contend for the moral excellency of faith ? Why 
 so solicitous to find something in it more than belief? Why is 
 that held insufficient for qualification V This, by the by, is a 
 mistatement. I do not pretend to find any thing more in faith, 
 than belief. Belief itself, I suppose includes in it all I con- 
 tend for ; and as to the importance of the morality of faithj 
 ask yourself, If we are not justified by faith, as a compliance 
 with what in itself is ' rights' as obedience to the < command of 
 God,' or as the performance of a ' duty,' of what importance is 
 it to contend for it, as being this or that ? You can easily give an 
 answer to this question j and by so doing, will answer that which 
 you have put to rae. 
 
 " And if, while you allow faith to be right, you attribute < all 
 the virtue and influence which is ascribed to it in justification 
 to its object, rather than to any intrinsic righteousness which 
 itself contains,' you do what I heartily approve ; and in so doing, 
 whether you can understand my distinguishing between justifi-? 
 cation by faith on account of its relation to its object, and justifi- 
 cation by faith as a virtue or not, you maintain the same thing. 
 
248 MEMOIRS Ob' 
 
 " You seem certain that I consider faith * as a temper or tUs- 
 position of heart corresponding to the truth believed.' If you 
 arc certain of it, it is more than I am. I say it includes such 
 a temper ; but I do not suppose it would be a proper definition 
 of faith, to call it a disposition of heart corresponding with 
 the truth believed. To give God credit, or to discredit him, 
 seems better to agree with the idea of an exercise of the soul, 
 than of a temper or disposition. It is actually treating God 
 either as the God of truth, or as a liar. It lias more of a dis- 
 position in it than you seem willing to acknowledge, and more 
 of an assent to truth, than the notion of it which you ascribe to 
 me. It is what the Scripture calls a receiving the love of the 
 truths that ive may be saved. 2 Thes. ii. 10. You may easily 
 perceive, that I do not consider it either as an exercise of the 
 understanding, to the exclusion of the will; or of the will to 
 the exclusion of the understanding. To distinguish the pow- 
 ers of the soul, is in many cases, very proper; and to distinguish 
 the natural from the moral powers, is of importance : but, I 
 conceive there are several mental exercises, and peri-aps all 
 those which are of a spiritual or holy nature, which cannot be 
 said to be exercises of a single power, but of the soul, witlmut 
 distinction of its powers. Such are repentance, hope, and fear ; 
 and such I conceive, is faith. 
 
 " As to my confounding faith with hope and love, which the 
 apostle declares to be three. I have already answered this ob- 
 jection ; and I must say, that your reply is far from being satis- 
 factory. Whether my considering them as distinct with regard 
 to their objects, include all the distinction there is bttween 
 them, or not, you admit * hope to include desire,' which is the 
 same thing as including love. » Hope,' you say, ^ is a modifi- 
 cation of love.' Hope, therefore, according to your own ac- 
 knowledgment, though distinguished from love, yet is not so 
 distinct from it but that it includes a portion of it. But if this 
 be said of hope, there is no good reason to be drawn from this 
 pat sage, why it may not also be said of faith. 
 
 ^< If fftith Include an exorcist of the will, David would be at 
 a loss to account !..>r iKe siipeiionty of love. (pp. 18, 19.) By 
 the same rule he would be at a loss to account for its superiority 
 
MR. FULLER. 249 
 
 to hope ; since he allows hope to < include desire* that is to 
 say, it includes love, and is a ' modification of it.* Does not 
 the Apostle himself suggest wherein consists the superiority of 
 love ; namely, in its fierfietuity ? ' Love never faileth.* Faith 
 shall terminate in vision, and hope in fruition ; but love shall 
 rise and increase to all eternity. 
 
 " Again, if faith includes the consent of the will, with the 
 concurrence of the warmest affections, David would be \mable 
 to see why faith, and not love, unites us to Christ, (p. 19.) This 
 objection proceeds upon the supposition, that faith not only itz- 
 cludes love, but that it is love, or that faith and love are the same 
 things. In this case, no doubt, it would be impossible to discern 
 why faith should unite us to Christ, rather than love ; seeing 
 there would be no difference between one and the other. But, 
 though faith may include a degree ef love, yet it does not fol- 
 low from thence, that it is, in no respects, distinguishable from 
 it, or that there are not some effects ascribable to faith, on ac- 
 count of its peculiar properties, which are not to be ascribed 
 to love. Justification includes the forgiveness of sins ; yet it is 
 not the same thing as forgiveness : and there are some things 
 ascribable to the former, namely, a title to eternal life, (Rom. v 
 18. 21.) which do not belong to the latter. 
 
 " You seem greatly jealous on the subject of meetnessy and 
 so does Dr. Stuart : he fears, my views on this subject will 
 < hurt my preaching and experience.' I am truly obliged, both 
 to him and to you, for your anxiety on this head. Both your 
 letters on this subject made a deep impression on my heart. I 
 could have watered each of them with tears. There would, 
 however, have been some difference. Over his, I could have 
 shed tears of trembling self-diffidence, lest what he suggested 
 might be true, and lest I should in any degree, though un- 
 wittingly, dishonour '- him whom my soul loveth.* Over yours, 
 I could have wept for grief. The mixture of tartness and un- 
 kind insinuations, which, on some occasions, accompany your 
 reasonings, was not the most pleasant : it seemed to me, un- 
 suitable to brotherly discussion. But tliis I pass over, and at- 
 tend to my subject. 
 33 
 
250 JMEiMOIHS OF 
 
 « In my letter to Dr. Stuart, if 1 mistake not, 1 as'ted, amoni; 
 other things, * May not faith inchide the acquiescence of the 
 heart, and so be a moral excellency ; and may there not be a 
 fitness in God's justifying persons who thus acquiesce, without 
 any foundation being laid for boastmg ? Though faith be a moral 
 excelieiicy, yet I do not consider that it is on account of its 
 morality, but its relation to Christ, that justification ih ascribed 
 to it.' On this account you remark, that * the distinction be" 
 tween this and being jusnfied by faith as a virtue^ is too fine ; 
 foi", if this fitness in God's justifyng arises from the moral 
 excellency of faitli, we must undoubtedly, be justified by faith 
 as a virtue, in some sense or other.* 
 
 " You will admit, I think, of a fitness between justification 
 and believing ; or, that it is v/isely ordered, that believers should 
 be justified, rather than unbelievers. Otherwise, you must 
 suppose, that God does what there is no reason or fitness in 
 doing. Farther, you suppose believing to include a knowledge 
 of Christ, at least such a knowledge as perceives and realizes 
 the object ; and this, you will admit, precedes justification, and 
 that there is a fitness in its doing so. Yet you do not maintain, 
 that a realizing perception of Christ's righteousness, but that 
 Christ's righteousness itself, is that on account of which God 
 justifies us. Now, why may not I maintain the same, though 
 I consider the belief of tlie gospel as including a cordial acqui- 
 escence in it ? If you allege, that there is no other fitness in 
 God's justifying a person on his believing, in your sense of the 
 t^-rm, than a Jitness of ivisdom (none which undermines the 
 freeness of grace, or which bears any rest mblance to the notion 
 of those who talk of a merit of congruity) and that for this 
 reason — there being noticing of moral good included in the 
 nature of faith, there can be no ground for a moral fitness in a 
 sinner bring justified by it. To this I answer, 
 
 « 1. You do allow faith to include moral good, though, in 
 some places, you write as though you did not. You allow it 
 to be ' right in itself, a command of God, a duty ; and the con- 
 ti ary, a iiw, as making God a liar.' You must admit, therefore, 
 that, though we are justified by that which is right — is a com* 
 jnand — is a duti/y yet it is not on account of its rightnessy or of its 
 
MR. FULLER. 251 
 
 being an obedience to a divine command^ or a compliance with 
 duty^ but merely on account of tiie object on whicii it teimi- 
 natcs. And if this distinction be not ' too fine' for you, neither 
 wiii that to which you object in me ; for it is the same thiiig. 
 
 '' 2. A ^fitness of wisdoin is the whole for whicli 1 piead. 
 It appears to be wisely ordered, that no person should share the 
 blessing of justification through the rigliieousucss oi Cusist, till 
 he heartily acquiesce in that way of saving sinners. Yet it is 
 not his acquiescence that is any ground of his acceptance, but 
 that in which he acquiesces. 
 
 « 1 will try and state another case, or two, which may throw 
 some light upon that question. Let us suppose Pharaoii's 
 daughter, who was married to king Solomon, to have been a 
 poor outcast, and even a prostuute : yet Solomon sends his ser- 
 vants to invite her to ihe most intimate and honourable union. 
 At first, she feels attached to her lovers, and reluses ; at length, 
 however, her mind is changed. She is married to him, and, 
 that moment, becomes interested in his crown anu possessions. 
 Perhaps, you will admit the fitness,, in this case, that she should 
 first be united with Solomon, ere she siiould become interested 
 in his possessions ; and with such a kind of union too, as should 
 include a renunciation of all her former lovers and illicit piac- 
 tices Yet, Virtuous as this union mignt be, and wicked as it 
 •would have been in her to have stili adhered lo her lovers, you 
 would never imagine, that she was put in possession oi the 
 crown on account of her own marnagt, considered as an cxer* 
 CISC of virtue^ or as a reivara lor it. Nor wouid she, ii a true 
 penitent, ever think of arrogating to herself any merii lor ac- 
 quiescing in Soiomon's proposal, or consenting to do as sue 
 had done ; but rather, be contounded on account ot her ioi uier 
 wickedness, and especially, that she siiouiu have been so at- 
 tached to it, as for a time, to despise the riches of his goodness. 
 If a question had been put to her, in the heignt of her glory, 
 by one that had known her in former times — ' And what is this 
 that is come to you I On what ground or titie, have you tne 
 possession of all these riches V she might have answered to 
 this effect: ' They were not mine ; 1 neitner laboured ibr tnem, 
 nor inherited them from any one that was naturally related to 
 
252 MEMOIRS OP 
 
 me. They were king Solomon's ; and he from a wonderful at- 
 tachment to me, in which he seems to have been determined, 
 by an act of overwhelming kindness, to display his native gen- 
 erosity, conferred them upon me. I have them in virtue of 
 marriage. That which accomplished my union to the king, 
 at the same time put me in possession of these riches. All that 
 I enjoy is by marriage ; for what was I ? It is of marriage, that 
 it might be of grace.' 
 
 " 1 do not pretend to say, that this case will, throughout, apply 
 to that of Christ and a believer ; but I can conceive, they are 
 sufficiently alike to illustrate the argument. Union with Christ, 
 is that which, in the order of things, precedes justification : Of, 
 him are ye in Christ Jesus, who of God is made unto us — 
 righteousness. That I may be found in him^ not having on 
 mine own righteousness, but that which is by the faith of Christ. 
 1 Cor. i. 31. Phil. iii. 8. And this, David, in his dialogue, (p. 
 19.) admits — that union with Christ, is to be of one spirit with 
 him ; (1 Cor. vi. 17.) and being by faith, it is hence that by faith 
 we are justified. 
 
 " It is here, I think, I can perceive the peculiar relation which 
 faith be^rs to Christ. Such a belief of the gospel, as that 
 whereby we embrace his way of salvation with our whole souls, 
 renders Christ and us no more twain, but one spirit. (I allude 
 to I Cor. vi. 17.) This is analogous to the joining act, in mar- 
 riage. Whatever love there might be in such an act, and 
 however necessary such love might be to render it sincere, or 
 whatever love might follow after, it is not this, but the act of 
 marriage, that so unites the parties, as that the one shall be 
 interested in the possessions of the other. 
 
 *' In short, by the above representation, I can see a cordial 
 and virtuous acquiescence to be necessary to the enjoyment of 
 an advantage, and a fitness in its being so : yet not such a fit- 
 ness as those maintain who speak of a merit of congruity, but 
 a fitness of wii>dom. 
 
 " Again : There is a ftness of wisdom in the established 
 connexion between refientance and the remission of sins. That 
 such a connexion exists in the Scriptures, I imagine you will 
 not deny. Neither can you doubt, whether repentance be a 
 
MR. FULLER. 253 
 
 moral exercise of mind ; yet you will not say, that this moral 
 exercise is that on account of nvhich we are forgiven ; but tnat 
 it is ivhoUy for Christ's sake^ as much as we are justified 
 wholly for the sake of his righteousness. Here, again, you 
 must make use of the distinction which you say is * too fine.* 
 It IS true, repentance does not occupy the same place with re- 
 spect to forgiveness, as faith does with respect to justification ; 
 for we are not said to be forgiven by repentance : yet the con- 
 nexion is as real in the one case, as in tiie other. Forgiveness 
 follows upon repentance, which is a virtue ; and it is fit it should, 
 rather than go before it : and yet it is not for the sake of thaf 
 virtue, but of the blood-shedding- of Christ, that we are forgiven. 
 You allow, and that rightly, that justif cation includes the for- 
 giveness of sins : if there be no forgiveness, therefore, without 
 repentance, (which the Scriptures abundantly teach,) there can 
 be no justification without repentance. Repentance, conse- 
 quently, must be implied or, included, in the very nature of jus- 
 tifying faith ; as much as the forgiveness of sins is included 
 in justification. Nor does this idea confound faith and repen- 
 tance, any more than the other confounds justification and 
 pardon. 
 
 " Again : There is a fitness of wisdom in the established 
 connexion between receiving Christ, and having fiower, right, 
 or privilege, to become the sons of God. John i. 12. And re- 
 ceiving Christ you will admit to be a holy or moral exercise^ 
 including the concurrence of the will. It is the direct opposite 
 of rejecting him, or receiving him not. ver. 1 1 . Yet you will 
 not say, that it is as a reward for having received him, that he 
 confers upon us the blessing of adoption. We are predestinated 
 to that relation, merely of grace, by Jesus Christ, and not as 
 the reward of any thing good in us. Here then, you must again 
 admit of a distinction which you say is * too fine.' Adoption 
 follows upon receiving Christ, which is a virtue ; (and it is 
 wisely ordered that it should ;) and yet it is not for the sake of 
 that virtue, but from the free grace of God, through our Lord 
 Jesus Christ, that we, of aliens, are made sons. 
 
 " If 1 can find opportunity, I may take some notice of the 
 other parts of your^ letter, at some future time. Meanwhile, 
 
2^4 MEMOIRS, Sec. 
 
 I only say, that writing upon subjects of difference is as un- 
 pleasant to me as it can be to you, and perhaps, more so, on ac- 
 count of the indisposition which attends me. And, having stated 
 my views, I do not intend to keep up a controversy. If I can 
 receive any fresh light from your communications, 1 shall be 
 obliged to you ; but probably, 1 shall not largely reply any more. 
 « I am, 
 " With sincere respect and esteem, 
 " Yours, 
 
 « A. FULLER." 
 
 This letter was not communicated to me by Mr. Fuller's 
 family, but by a friend of Mr. M'Lean, to whom he had lent 
 it, giving him express permission to take a copy : he thought it 
 contained a perspicuous, neat, and yet full abridgment of those 
 views in which Mr. Fuller and Mr. McLean did not agree ; and 
 therefore, as he wished it to be inserted, 1 could have no objec- 
 tion, who always was equally averse, with my departed friend, 
 from the sentiments herein opposed by him. I once had a very 
 pleasant interview with Mr. M'Lean, and sincerely respect iiis 
 memory, as a very worthy, good man, whose talents were highly 
 respectable : but this is no reason that I sni>uid scruple to 
 avow, that I considered him, in these pouits, to have been mis- 
 taken ; though, on some otner particulars, he dissented from 
 Mr. Sandeman, and ably opposed him. 
 
 In the year 1800, when certain projects were formed to 
 abridge the religious liberties of the Dissenters, Mr. Fuller 
 corresponded with some distinguished senaiors on the subject, 
 and, in a very respecilui and judicious, but hrm and upright 
 manner, pointed out the pernicious tendency of the measures 
 in contemplation. Copies of these letters now lie before me^ 
 But, as I should not think it justifiable to publish them with- 
 out the express approbation of the gentlemen to whom they 
 were addressed ; so I conceive there is no occasion to solicit 
 their consent, as it is well known the design was abandoned, 
 and indeed, issued, through the good hand of God and the 
 kind dispositions of government, in the confirmation and ex- 
 tension of our liberties. 
 
CHAP. IX. 
 
 % 
 
 MR. fuller's first M A RRI A G E^— H IS PARF.NTAL AF- 
 FECTION-^ACCOUNT OF HIS FIRST DAUGHTER SA- 
 RAH MRS. fuller's illness AND DEATH— LINES 
 
 WRITTEN BY HIMSELF, IN REFERENCE TO THAT 
 
 EVENT HIS SECOND MARRIAGE, TO THE DAUGHTER 
 
 OF THE REV. WILLIAM COLES, OF WHOM SOME AC- 
 COUNT 18 GIVEN IN A NOTE HIS SECOND FAMILY- 
 DOMESTIC COMFORT DISTRESS RESPECTING HIS 
 
 ELBFST SON REVIEW OF TRIALS AND MERCIES 
 
 ACCOUNT OF HIS SECOND DAUGHTER SARAH, IN A 
 NOTE — ACCOUNT OF HIS NEPHEW, JOSEPH FULLER 
 MR. fuller's CONCERN FOR THE SPIRITUAL WEL- 
 FARE OF MORE DISTANT RELATIVES AND FRIENDS. 
 
 MR. Fuller's first wife was Miss Gardiner, the daughter 
 of Stephen and Sarah Gardiner, people of respectable char- 
 acter, at Burwell, in Cambridgeshire ; to whom he was mar- 
 ried, Dec. 23, 1776. The original name of the family was 
 Gardner ; and a ti'adition has been preserved, that it was 
 changed to Gardiner, at the instigation of Stephen Gardiner, 
 who was Bishop of Winchester, in Queen Mary's reign j 
 though it is hard to divine his motive for wishing this altera- 
 tion, as no reason of relationship is assigned for it ; but so it 
 is said that it was. Mrs. Fuller was born in 1756, and died 
 in 1792. She had eleven children, three of whom were buried 
 at Soham, five at Kettering, one in the sea, and two survive* 
 
256 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 All of those who were removed by death, were very young, 
 excepting two ; namely, a daughter, who was between six and 
 seven years of age ; and his eldest son, who died at sea, when 
 he was about twenty-seven years old. The loss of the former 
 was a very severe trial, of which I shall insert a full and par- 
 ticular account. The latter, as is well known to many, was 
 a source of unspeakable distress for several years ; yet a 
 brief relation of this affliction may be truly instructive both 
 to parents and to young people. Some degree of hope at- 
 tended it in the end. 
 
 For the best interests, not only of his children, but of all his 
 relatives, both by consanguinity and affinity, Mr. Fuller always 
 discovered a great concern. This will appear by his letters to 
 more distant relatives, as well as by those addressed to his 
 own children, and by other interesting documents. 
 
 With respect to his parental tenderness towards his daugh- 
 ter, I was an eye-witness of the uncommon degree in which 
 it was manifested. She died. May 30, 1786, aged six years and 
 nearly six months. She was a very intelligent and amiable 
 child, and gave much hopeful evidence of early piety ; as I can 
 attest, from my own knowledge, as well as from the following 
 narrative drawn up by her father : 
 
 " Sarah Fuller was born at Soham, Dec. 7, 1779. At the 
 time of her birth, I committed her to God, as I trust, I have 
 done many times since. Once in particular, viewing her as she 
 lay smiling in the cradle, at the age of eight months, my heart 
 was much affected : I took her up in my arms, retired, and in 
 that position, wrestled hard with God for a blessing ; at the same 
 time, offering her up, as it were, and solemnly presenting her 
 to the Lord for acceptance. In this exercise I was greatly en- 
 couraged by the conduct of Christ towards those who brought 
 little children in their arms to him, for his blessing. At that 
 time I wrote the following lines : — 
 
 1 Dear child ! for thee ray bowels how they roll I 
 Fruit of my body, darling of my soul. 
 Thy face creates a smile, thy soul a sigh ; 
 Thy life may pleasure give— but*— O to die I 
 
MR. FULLER. 257 
 
 2 To dark futurity my thoughts will run ; 
 
 To ihat vast world when this is fled and gone : 
 
 For whom art thou brought forth ? tor what ? for where .' 
 
 For thee thy parent's heart is pain*d with care. 
 
 3 In whose kind hand shall I thy welfare leave ? 
 Not in mine own— niyself 1 cannot save ; 
 Jesus ! to thee an offering here I give : 
 Lord, hear and 'O that Ishmael might live !* 
 
 "I have frequently, when carrying her in my arms, sung 
 •ver her such lines as tlie following, with much aifection : 
 
 * May'st thou live to know and fear him. 
 Trust and love liim all th} days : 
 
 Then go dwell for ever near him. 
 See his face, and sing his praise.' 
 
 « Or this, 
 
 * O may'st thou live to reach the place 
 Where he unveils his lovely face , 
 There all his g'ories to behold. 
 
 And sing his name to harps of gold.* 
 
 " She was a child of great vivacity of spirits ; but nothing 
 remarkably vicious. The only time in her life that I had any 
 occasion to use a rod, was when she was about four years old, 
 for telling a lie. Having, one day, a great inclination to go out, 
 she asked leave, and then said she had obtained it, when she 
 had not. 
 
 « About Michaelmas, 1785, she was invited, by our kind 
 friends Mr. and Mrs. Ryland and Miss Tyler, to pay a visit to 
 Northampton. She went, and stayed 11 or 12 weeks : during 
 •which time, Mrs. Trinder kindly took her into her school. Her 
 proficiency in reading, spelling, &c. gave us much pleasure. 
 But, alas for us ! how long will it be, ere we cease to set our 
 eyes upon that which is not? Death was then preparing to 
 blast our rising hopes ! 
 
 « About December, she was taken ill, at Northampton : our 
 friends thought her illness to be the measles. After a while, 
 she seemed to get better, and on the 16th of December, I 
 brought her home. From the time of her return, we perceived 
 a remarkable seriousness in her, with an uncommon delight in 
 33 
 
253 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 reading: ; and in our apprehension, her faculties ripened much 
 beyond her years. But still her illness hung about her. In the 
 beginning of February, she had the measles of a certainty ; and 
 wc hoped she would have recovered her health after the turn of 
 the disorder : but, from that time, she grew weaker and weaker, 
 and her complaints grew more and more alarming. A hectic 
 fever prayed upon her perpetually. At this time, however, she 
 took great delight in reading accounts of the conversion of little 
 children, and seemed to love those children for their godliness. 
 She would read these narratives aloud, when she was obliged to 
 pause at everv few words to get breath, till indeed, we were ob- 
 liged to restrain her, lest it should overcome her. At the same 
 time, she discovered great tenderness of conscience, in respect 
 of speaking the truth, and keeping holy the Lord's day. She 
 would chide her brother Robert, if he discovered any inclination 
 to play on that day. 
 
 " In March, I took her to Northampton, for the advice of Dr. 
 Kerr. This cheered her spirits ; as she loved Mr. and Mrs. 
 Ryland, and wanted to go to see them. She stayed there a 
 fortnight, and her aunt with her. The doctor vi^as very attentive 
 and kind to her, and we still hoped she might recover. During 
 this fortnight, I went two or three times to see her ; and one eve- 
 ning, being with her alone, she asked me to pray for her. *What 
 do you wish me to pray for, my dear ?* said I. She answered, 
 ' That God would bless me, and keep me, and save my soul.* 
 * Do ynu think then, that you are a sinner V Yes, father. Fear- 
 ing; lest she did not understand what she said, I asked her, 
 < What is sin, my dear ?' She answered, ' Telling a story.' I 
 comprehended this, and it went to my heart. * What then, (I 
 said,) you remember, do you, my having corrected you once, for 
 telling a story ?' ' Yes, father.' * And are you grieved for hav- 
 ing so offended God ?' < Yes, father.' I asked her, if she did 
 not try to pray herself Siie answered, ' I sometimes try, but 
 I do not know how to pray ; I wish you would pray for me, till 
 I can pray for myself,' As 1 continued to sit by her, she ap- 
 peared much dejected. I asked her the reason. She said, * I 
 am afraid I should go to hell.' « My dear, ("said I,) who told you 
 so ?' < Nobody, (said she,) but I kaow, if 1 do not pray to the 
 
259 
 
 MR. FULLER. 
 
 Lord, I must go to hell.' I then went to prayer mth her, with 
 '":ri;rher return toKettering, we soon saw wUhheart.^^^^^^ 
 ing ,rief, evident symptoms of approachmg d>ssolu«o„ Hei 
 
 •"---^-r^rr^rrrndMr/K^r: 
 
 Tl\:rr:lt^uT;:r::e a. sheoaenre,uested n^^^^^^ 
 
 over t: her. She several «mes requested -^^-> ^^^^'^ 
 I asked her again, if she tr^eu to pray ^--11: I 'o«^ 
 answer that she did, and was used to pray over 'he » " " ^ta^^ 
 Mr Ryland composed for her. I used to carry ner m n y arms 
 ^■rfielcs, Tnd there tai. with '--P- ''^ ^;— e^ 
 of dving and being with Christ, and with ho.y men and women, 
 :ldlit' ti.se Jy Children who cried, ^ Hosanna to the bon f 
 Dav.d.' Thus I tned to reconcile her, -f ""-^"^'f .^"J,;^';,,, 
 death, without airectly telling her she would soon ^- One lay, 
 
 * 1 Lord teach a little child to pray, 
 Thy grace betimes impart, 
 And grant thy holy Spirit may 
 Renew my infant heart. 
 
 2 A helpless creature I was born. 
 
 And from the womb 1 stray'd ; 
 I roust be wretched and forlorn. 
 Without thy mercy's aid. 
 
 3 But Christ can all my sins forgive. 
 
 And wash away their stain, 
 / And fit my soul with him to live. 
 
 And in his kingdom reign. 
 
 4 To him let little children come. 
 
 For he haih said they may ; 
 His bosom then shall be their home, 
 Their tears he'll wipe away. 
 
 5 For all who early seek his face. 
 
 Shall surely taste his love ; 
 Jesus will guide them by his grace. 
 To dwell with him above. 
 
260 
 
 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 cause r,.L r • , ''"' 5'°" "'™''' "y dear ?' ' Be- 
 
 cause, (sa,d she wnh a tone of grief that pierced me to the heart ■> 
 ' I have sinned asrainst the 1 nivi ' < -r "= lu me neart,; 
 
 have sinned agafnst Le ltd h ^/"^-^^dear (said I,) you 
 fordvevn,, ,?^"'^'""'^°"^' bw the Lord is more reaoy to 
 foigtveyou, If youaregneved for offending him, than I can 
 be to forgive you, when you are grieved for offending me and 
 g at^ZeorGoT'^r,"""'"^'-' ' "—""-- of e 
 of h mTrcvt for' " '°'' °' ^'"'' '° ^'"-'^ ^ '°'d '- 
 
 >^aslTr'rver,rh"^ ''°°'' "■'^'^^ "''^^' -''°' -"^"he 
 
 cheered IT H u"" '° '"'' *"'= ^°"'- ^^ *i^ ^"^ ^^emed 
 cneered, l)ut said nothing. 
 
 Gud better Abo!/ I '^ ""' ''"' '^"""' '^ ^ ^ad loved 
 
 fleeted that I had sinnpri ;« 1 • ^'^^ ^ays. 1 then re- 
 
 this time ,f t rt^/rf "'""''"^'^'^^°'''°-- f-» 
 On the mornm^ of f ^^th oftaT^^"^ " ''°'- 
 
 adjoining room' , suspectec^.T'ile ,1 '"'"'"" ''" 
 round that the chUdhadLpiredahouTs'oC^lrS 
 
MR. FULLER. 261 
 
 to me and as well as I was able, atte„,,ned to bless a taking I 
 wclla a giving God ; and to implore that those ol us who were 
 ft behmd, might find grace in t.e wilderness. T.,e worrif 
 the S„u„.mue were at that time much to me- It ,s well" These 
 words were preached from at her funeral, by Mr Ryld Mv 
 .ffl.ct.on had prevent.d my seeing her the L few ^ol ^e 
 
 c^LriaCeTrr. 11^:' ^-r^^ -^- ^^^ 
 
 «e, in my weak and affli' '' ""' '"'"°" "^ "'"'^'^ ^°^ 
 
 kind to her tr "'1'*^'""' ^'^"=- O"'' '"ends were all veiy 
 
 o.L.rco:irw::b:^:rb!i^^^^^^^^^ 
 
 wnen hei bones penetrated throussh her skin u 
 
 obliged to forre h^- „ ■ "b" net skm. It ever we were 
 
 a little a une mn^ T "" "P°" '"' "'°"S'' ^'^ -«"'" cry 
 
 at tne moment, yet she would quickly leave off »„ n ■ 
 us, saying, . I loveyou, I love vou all F 7 I ' ""'^ 
 
 tat„ „ • ^ " ' ' '•»"= yo" for makine- me 
 
 take my medicines, tor I know you do it for my .ood ' Her 
 constitution was always rather delicate h.. , ^ 
 
 her behaviour engaging. '' '"-"'''^' "" "="'P'='' ^""able, and 
 
 andt!,T:iL;c:i:rcomf°"^ t"™ '° "^^ ^'^ ^^^-'-y^ 
 
 the counsel the Ipo:" n^' ^ '""^ "^"' ' —'Bering' 
 
 that those who bavet: "be rtZ;: T; T"'''^^'^' 
 those that weep as though ,h. ^ ^ ''^'' "°"c; and 
 
 - though they';osfs:fn !'';:':,:"; ^■"' ''"^"'=" ^^y' 
 
 not abusing it^for the fasM^o ClV^ V^""'"^ 
 which is but a fieuie fa<il,inn t ^ ' ""^ «'<"'J<J, 
 
 passethaway.-" ''^"'^' '^^^'"°""»- fo™. without substance-j 
 
 pailful otasi::!^"^" ^^^^ "-posed by her father, on this 
 
 1 The child is not! and ^hi„,„,h,,l_^, 
 (My pe„„re soul thought thus to urge if>s .nef ) 
 To wh„. relre., bet»ke ,„e. high o. I„„ ^"^ 
 ^Vhere hurdeu'd hearts „ight |„, ,„„, ;,„„ ^^,,^^ , 
 
 "! Shall I betake me to the grove, or field. 
 Or walk, or hill, or dale, or grassy plai^p 
 
262 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 Alas ! -what joy can all creation yield ? 
 
 Creation mourns, where death and sorrovir reiga. 
 
 3 Prospects, instead of easing, aggravate ; 
 
 Ah 1 here she walk'd, there pluck'd the opening flower; 
 
 Turn, turn away mine eyes, nor irritate 
 
 The wound that's bow too deep for earth to cure. 
 
 4 But stop . . . the child is not ! henec will I go 
 To God, who, though he frowns, is still the same; 
 She was not mine, though fond I call'd her so ; 
 He gave, he took away — I'll bless his name. 
 
 5 Look neither in-ward, on thy griefs to pore ; 
 Nor outward, for relief from creature joys ; 
 Look upward, to thy God : thence help implore. 
 And help will come, and good from ill arise. 
 
 6 Nor mourn to excess her loss ; but say, • Tis well ;' 
 What matter when she died, if but to God ? 
 
 If rear*d for him. though young or old she fell. 
 His bosom is her last, her blest abode* 
 
 7 Here oft she read of early piety. 
 
 She read, and loved, and pau&M at every breath. 
 
 Till dire affliction wore her strength away. 
 
 And quench'd her powers, and seal'd her lips in death. 
 
 S What then ? her powers we trust will now expand ; 
 Our views, compared with hers, are childish now ; 
 She needs not little toys to amuse her mind, 
 Christ whom she sought, will be her all to know. 
 
 9 Surely her sorrows now to joys are turn'd. 
 Yes — sure her infant cries are heard and sped ; 
 Her tender hopes to blest fruition chang'd. 
 And all her fears are now for ever fled. 
 
 10 But must we part ? and can I bid farewell ? 
 We must — I can — 1 have — 1 kissed her dust— 
 1 kiss'd her clay cold corpse, and bade farewell. 
 Until the resurrection of the just ! 
 
 11 Return, my soul ; the works of life attend ; 
 A little while to labour here is given ; 
 Meanwhile, a new attractive thou shalt find. 
 
 To draw thee hence, and fix thine heart in hearen. 
 
 I received several affecting letters from her father, during 
 this affliction, and will now transcribe some extracts from a few 
 of them. 
 
MR. FULLER. 2^3 
 
 On May 12, 1786, after describing the child's illness, he 
 adds ; — " I preached last Lord's day, from Deut. xxxiii. 27. — 
 
 < The Eternal God is thy refuge,' Sec. and from Psa. Ixxii. 18 — 
 
 < Blessed be the God of Israel, who only doeth wondrous things.' 
 Have had some very tender times, and, when viewing the child 
 as dead, have been contented and resigned. This has lasted 
 for some days. I have, for a day or two past been greatly 
 afraid of her recovering just so much as to raise my expecta- 
 tions, so that 1 should have all the work to do over again. But, 
 perhaps that is best. If there is a need be for trials, then there 
 is a need for such circumstances to attend the events which 
 befal us as shall make them trials. And one of David's trials- 
 was, * Thou hast lifted me up, and cast me down.' I feel, how- 
 ever, how much I am indebted to mercy for many things which 
 attend this affliction. I sometimes think, how if my two other 
 children should be left, and grow up wicked, and then be cut 
 oiF like Eli's sons I' Ah, in many of my prayers, / knoiv not 
 what I ask. May God in mercy, do that for me, and those that 
 pertain to me, which is best 1 I feel a sweet satisfaction in the 
 reins being in his hand, the government upon his shoulders. I 
 have just now been preaching from Matth. xx. 20 — 24. I fear 
 I am not yet able to drink the cup ; and, if not to drink the 
 cup, perhaps I am less able to bear a deliverance from it 
 
 " Yesterday, my wife had pretty much talk with her, and 
 seemed much satisfied of her piety, and resigned to her death» 
 For my part, I feel very differently at different times. But, 
 generally speaking, except when my feelings are attacked by 
 the child's heavy afflictions, or any fresh symptom of death, I 
 find a far greater degree of composure and resignation to God, 
 than ever I could have expected. I can easily see, it may be 
 best for us to part. I have been long praying, in I know not 
 what manner, that I might be brought nearer to God ; find 
 some particular e-vils in my heart subdued ; have my mind en- 
 larged in exfierrmental knowledge ; and my heart more iveaned 
 from things below, and set on things above. Perhaps, by * ter- 
 rible things in righteousness* God may answer these petitions. 
 O that it may be so indeed I I feel however, that it must be 
 something more than afflictiou to effect that I I have long found 
 
264 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 to my shame, that though drawing and living mear to God are 
 the happiest things in the world, yet such is the carnality oi my 
 heart, that I have long been in the habit of despairing of ever 
 attaining them. I have often of late, said of holiness, what 
 Solomon said of wisdom — I thought to be holy, but it was far 
 from me." 
 
 The following extracts are from letters not dated ; but, cer- 
 tainly, written about the same time. 
 
 " . . , The child is much lower, and worse than ever she 
 has been before. We have been up with her two nights, and 
 are almost overcome in body and mind. For my part, I con- 
 sider her as already dead, and have had some degree of resig- 
 nation to it. Have just now been preaching from Psa. xciv. 19. 
 — ' In the multitude of my thoughts within me, thy comforts de- 
 light my soul.' Last Lord's-day, I preached from 1 Thes. iii. 3. 
 — < Let no man be moved by these afflictions, knowing that we 
 are thereunto appointed.* 
 
 " Some time ago, 1 spoke at a child's grave, and addressed 
 the children. It appears that a little girl was wrought upon, 
 who is since dead. At that time, her father and mother were 
 common church people, and very ignorant. She talked much 
 to them, before her death. I hope the Lord has lately wrought 
 upon her mother. She seems very tender-hearted, and in real 
 earnest after the salvation of her soul. Her husband has op- 
 posed her coming to meeting, but in vain. He beat her, but to 
 no purpose. He then despaired, and began to think her right, 
 and himself wrong. * If it had not been of God,' said he, *I 
 had overcome it before now.' The man invited me to visit his 
 wife. I went, expecting him to dispute with me, as he had 
 threatened to stop me in the street for that purpose : according- 
 ly, I gave him an opportunity ; but, says the poor man, ' I have 
 done with that now ; my chief concern is, * What must / do to 
 be saved ?' I cannot tell how it may issue, as to him : he comes 
 sometimes to meeting, and sometimes goes to hear Mr. Lydiat, 
 at Warkton. Last Tuesday, I was visited by a lad, who has 
 lately been observed to weep very much under the word. He 
 appears to have every mark of true and deep contrition, and 
 says a sermon I preached, two or three luonths ago, on sinners 
 
MR. FULLER. 265 
 
 being under the curse of the j^lmighty^w^s first o^ Mse to him. 
 The Lord carry on his work !'* 
 
 "... Last night I preached a funeral sermon for one person, 
 and buried two others within nine days. Can I be supposed to 
 be otherwise than dejected ? We attend all we can, to our own 
 health ; but is it to be wondered at, that we should be sensibly 
 affected, and very ill ? To nurse a child with her afflictions, is 
 great work for the hands ; but to nurse altogether without hope, 
 is far greater work for the heart. ' But the hope of a better 
 world.* True ; and I never felt the worth of that consideration 
 so much as now. Ten thousand worlds seem nothing, in con- 
 sideration of the hope of the gospel. Sure I know something 
 more than I did, of the meaning of ' Thanks be to God for his 
 unspeakable gift !* and ' Underneath are the everlasting arms 1' 
 with many other passages. And yet, after all, O what shall I 
 say ? I am not without hope — hope, as I said, with which I 
 would not part for ten thousand worlds ; but I have, as well, 
 painful fears. My dear Brother, the matter is of too great im- 
 portance to be thought of lightly. However, the nearer I am 
 to God, the better it is with me. I thought last night, it was 
 some relief, that God had enjoined us to train up our children in 
 the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Methought, there 
 was never a command but what had a promise connected with 
 it ; for God does not say to the seed of Jacob, Seek ye my face 
 in vain. I also felt some satisfaction in reflecting on my 
 conduct towards the child, and thought of the Psalmist's words t 
 * Lord, I have hoped in thy salvation, and have done thy com- 
 mandments.* 
 
 " I enjoy great satisfaction and pleasure, whenever I think 
 of her having been at Northampton. If there is any change 
 in her, I think your conversation, or the instructions she received 
 at Northampton, were the means. Those few verses you wrote 
 for her, she will still repeat, though obliged to rest for want of 
 breath, between almost every word. She says, * Mr. Ryland 
 34 
 
266 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 told me -when I had got them, he would make me some more ;' 
 and requested I would write to you for them.* 
 
 <' While things are as they are, I really cannot leave home ; 
 and I think it is very precarious, whether I can be at the As- 
 sociation. I will if I can, if it be only a little while on the 
 Wednesday ; but all is uncertain. She may live till then, or 
 she may die within a few days. Be it when it may, I fear the 
 strok© will be attended with such an additional shock to my 
 feelings, that I shall be very unfit for preaching. I should 
 think therefore, my preaching at the Association should not 
 be expected. If I can come, I do not want to make excuses ; 
 but if any other were in my place, I think I should readily 
 excuse him. 
 
 * I sent these, three days before her death 5 
 
 1 God is very good to me, 
 
 that I may thankful be! 
 
 1 upon liis will depend. 
 May his glory be my end ! 
 
 2 When I any sickness feel, 
 God can my diseases heal ; 
 
 * If he does not choose to cure. 
 
 He can help me to endure. 
 
 S If T am to live awhile. 
 Trifles will my heart beguile. 
 Sorrows will my heart molest. 
 If with grace 1 am not blest. 
 
 4 If f am to die betimes, 
 
 Christ can pardon all my crimes. 
 Make me fit for heaven, and then 
 Death itself shall be my gain. 
 
 5 Lord, thy grace to me impart, 
 Cleanse my soul, renew my heart ! 
 Else I cannot live to thee. 
 Death will else a terror be. 
 
 6 Life is pleasant, if I may 
 ^11 my life thy will obey; 
 Death is pleasant, loo, if I 
 
 Then shall dwell with God on high. 
 
MR. FULLER. S^f 
 
 " The poor child is, on the whole very patient. I can only 
 add, let us have the continuance of your prayers. 
 
 " Ever yours, 
 
 " A. FULLER." 
 
 N. B. Mr. Fuller did come ; and preached, on Wednes- 
 day, the rth of June, from Ephes. ii. 5.—' By grace ye are 
 saved.* 
 
 Various references to this affliction occur also in his diary. 
 For example : 
 
 " 1785. — Set off for home with my little girl, who has been 
 ill at Northampton. My heart greatly misgives me. If God 
 should take either of my children from me, I. seem as if I could 
 scarcely sustain it. On this account, I have many fears. Oh I 
 I could give up their bodies ; but I want to see piety reigning 
 in their sow/s, before they go hence, and are no more seen. I 
 tried, as I rode home, to converse with my child, and to instil 
 religious principles into her mind. O that God would bless my 
 endeavours to that end ! 
 
 « Jan. 8, 1786— Exceedingly distressed, on Wednesday night, 
 I fear God will take away my child. I have reason to fear, 
 some awful chastisement is at hand, either spiritual or temporal. 
 Methought 1 was like the Israelites, who had little or no heart 
 to call upon God, except in times of trouble. I tried however, 
 to pray to him now. I think I could willingly submit to God 
 in all things, and bear whatever he should lay upon me, though 
 it were the loss of one of the dear parts of myself, provided I 
 could but see Christ formed in her. I know also, that I have no 
 demand on the Lord for this ; but surely, I ought to bless his 
 name, that he does not require me to be willing to be lost 
 myself, or that that should be the end of any whom he has put 
 under my care. The chief exercise of my mind, this week, 
 has been respecting my poor child. I thought I felt some re- 
 signation to Divine Providence. ' The Lord liveth, and blessed 
 be my Rock.' 
 
 " Feb. 5. — Our dear little girl has, this week, much alarmed 
 our fears. On Thursday morning the measles came out : we 
 hope the illness may be carried off hereby. As I sat by her, 
 
268 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 that morning alone, she requested me to pray with tier ; saying, 
 though she was greatly afflicted with pain, yet she would try 
 to lie still. I did so, and found some tenderness of heart on her 
 behalf. 
 
 " Feb. 19, 1786. — Great are the mercies of the Lord towards 
 us, who has now given me another daughter. Mercy and 
 judgment both visit us. Now, my fears chiefly turn on the 
 child that is afflicted. My Sabbaths, I fear, are spent to little 
 purpose; I have so little love to God and the souls of men ; 
 but I felt much impressed to-night, in catechising the children. 
 Thought about my own little girl, and talked to them concerning 
 her. 
 
 « March 12, to April 16. — For this month past, I have had 
 great exercise of heart, on account of my poor little daughter : 
 sometimes, pleading hard with God, on her account ; at other 
 times, ready to despair, fearing that God would never hear me. 
 
 " 19. (Lord's day.) — A distressing day to me. My concern 
 for the loss of her body is but trifling, compared with that of 
 her soul. I preached and prayed much, from Matth. xv. 25 — 
 ' Lord, help me !' On Monday, I carried her towards North- 
 ampton. Was exceedingly distressed? that night; went to 
 prayer, with a heart almost broken. Some encouragement 
 from conversation with clear brother R. I observed, that God 
 had not bound himself to hear the prayers of any one, for the 
 salvation of the soul of another. He replied, ' But if he has 
 not, yet he frequently does so ; and hence, perhaps, though 
 grace does not run in the bloody yet we frequently see, it runs 
 in the line. Many more of the children of God's children are 
 gracious, than of others.' I know, neither I nor mine have 
 any claim upon the Almighty for mercy ; but, as long as 
 there is life, it shall surely be my business to implore his 
 mercy towards her. 
 
 « 21. — Thought I sav/ the vanity of all created good. I saw, 
 if God were to cut off my poor child, and were not to afford me 
 some extraordmary support under the stroke, that I should be 
 next to dead to the whole creation, and all creation dead to 
 me 1 O that I were but thus dead, as Paul was, by the cross of 
 Christ. 
 
MR. FULLER. 269 
 
 " 23. — Preached at Woodford, from Psa. 1. 15. — ^< Call upon 
 me in the day of trouble/ &c. 
 
 " 26. — Had a pretty good day, and some pleasure at the 
 Lord's supper ; but very much dejected towards night. Read 
 a little account of Eliza Cunningham, who died lately, pub- 
 lished by her uncle, the Rev. Mr. Newton j it was very af- 
 fecting indeed. 
 
 " 27. — Riding to Northampton, to-day, I think I felt greater 
 earnestness and freedom with God than I ever had before, 
 in this matter. I seemed likewise more willing to leave her 
 in the hands of God. Some tender opportunities in prayer, 
 with her and for her. 
 
 a 28. — I returned. Went back to Northampton, on Friday, 
 and stayed over Lord's day. I had some pleasant thoughts 
 on being crucified to the ivorld^ and on casting all our cares 
 upon the Lord. I now feel more of an habitual resignation 
 to God. If I could take the reins into my own hand, I would 
 not. I feel a satisfaction, that my times, and the times of all 
 that pertain to me, are in the Lord's hands. This also I 
 have felt all along — never to desire the life of the child, unless 
 it be for her present and eternal good. Unless she should 
 live to the Lord, I had rather, if it please God, she might 
 not live at all. 
 
 <' May 7. — I was tolerably supported under the approach- 
 ing death of my poor child, which 1 saw drawing on apace. I 
 saw I must shortly let her fall. With floods of tears, with all 
 the bitterness of an afflicted father mourning for his first- 
 born, I committed her to God, to his everlasting arms when 
 she should fall from mine. 
 
 « 14 — 31. — Death! Death is all around me 1 My friends 
 die. Three have I buried within a fortnight, and another I 
 shall have to bury soon ! Death and judgment is all I can 
 think about 1 At times I feel reconciled to whatever may befal 
 me. I am not without good hopes of the child's piety ; and 
 as to her life, desirable as it is, the will of the Lord be done. 
 But, at other times, I am distressed beyond due bounds. On 
 the 26th, in particular, my distress seemed beyond all measure. 
 J lay before the Lord, weeping like David, and refusing to be 
 
270 MEMOIRS OB 
 
 comforted. This brought on, I have reason to think, a bilious- 
 cholic: a painful affliction it was; and the more so, as it 
 prevented my ever seeing my child alive again ! Yes, she is 
 gone I On Tuesday morning. May 30, as I lay ill in bed, in 
 another room, I heard a whispering. I inquired, and all were 
 
 silent all were silent ! but all is well ! I feel 
 
 reconciled to God. I called my family round my bed. I sat 
 up, and prayed as well as I could ; I bowed my head, and wor- 
 , shipped, and blessed a taking as well as a giving God. 
 
 "June 1, 1786. — I just made a shift to get up, to-day, and 
 attend the funeral of my poor child. My dear Brother Ryland 
 preached, on the occasion, from 2 Kings iv. 26. — < It is well.' 
 I feel, in general now, a degree of calm resignation. Surely? 
 there is solid reason to hope that she has not lived in vain ; and 
 if she is but reared for God, it matters not when she died. I 
 feel a solid pleasure in reflecting on our own conduct in her edu- 
 cation : surely, we endeavoured to bring her up in the nurture 
 and admonition of the Lord ; and I trust our endeavours were 
 not in vain. Surely, her visit to Northampton, too, was blessed 
 for her good : she has certainly discovered, ever since, great 
 tenderness of conscience, and much of the fear of God ; great 
 regard for the worship of God, especially for the Lord's day ; 
 and great delight in reading, especially accounts of the conver- 
 sion of some little children. But all is over now ; and 1 am, in 
 a good degree, satisfied. 
 
 *4 3. — To-day, I felt a sort of triumph over death. I went 
 and stood on her grave, with a great deal of composure ! Re- 
 turned, and wrote eleven verses to her memory. 
 
 " 4. — Had a good day, in preaching on these light afflictions. 
 My mind seems very calm and serene, in respect of the child. 
 
 " 5. — Though I have felt resignation and serenity, as to the 
 death of my child, since the event was decided by an infallible 
 God ; yet, alas 1 I feel the insufficiency of trouble, however 
 heavy, to destroy and mortify sin. I have had sad experience 
 of my own depravity, even while under the rod of God. 
 
 «■ 8. — Ifear, something more awful than the death of the child 
 awaits me. Though I have been in the fire, yet my dross is 
 not removed ; nay, it seems to be increased. My family is now 
 
MR. FULLER. 271 
 
 afflicted nearly throughout ! * For all this his anger is not turn- 
 ed away, but his hand is stretched out still.* 
 
 The next scene of family trouble, through which he was 
 Galled to pass, was that which issued in the removal of the first 
 Mrs. Fuller, a very amiable and excellent woman. With her I 
 -was well acquainted, and had many opportunities, of witnessing 
 much of his tenderness towards her, under her frequent afflic- 
 tions. Her death took place during my second visit to Bristol? 
 ^vhither he sent me a most affecting account of that event, 
 which I read to many friends ; who, though, at that time, they 
 knew but 4ittle of Mr. Fuller, yet were exceedingly moved by 
 hearing the recital. 
 
 I have, ever since, regretted this letter's being lost, by a friend 
 to whose care I entrusted it ; as I am persuaded it contained 
 two or three touching expressions, which were omitted in that 
 which I afterwards obtained in its place. The latter is contained 
 in a letter written by him to Mrs. Fuller's own parents. 
 
 But, as every affliction put him on closely examining, whether 
 some faulty cause might not be found in himself, on account of 
 which God was pleased thus to chasten him, so it was on this 
 occasion ; as appears by the following extracts from his diary, 
 which I transcribe before I copy the narrative. 
 
 *' July 10, 1792. — My family afflictions have almost over- 
 ^vhelmed me ; and what is yet before me I know not ! For 
 about a month past, the affliction of my dear companion has been 
 extremely heavy. On reading the fourth chapter of Job, this 
 morning, the 3d, 4th, and 5th verses affected me. — ' My words 
 have upholden many. O that now I am touched, I may not 
 faint 1' 
 
 « 25. — O my God, my soul is cast down within me ! The 
 afflictions in my family seem too heavy for me I O Lord, I am 
 oppressed, undertake for me ! My thoughts are broken off, 
 and all my prospects seem to be perished ! I feel, however^ 
 some support from such Scriptures as these.— < All things work 
 together for good, 8cc. — God, even our own God, shall bless us. 
 —It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed.' On© 
 of my friends Qbse,rY<?d, yesterday, thJ^t it was difficult, in many 
 
^172 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 cases, to know wherefore God contended with us. But I 
 thought, there was no difficulty of this kind with me. I have 
 sinned against the Lord ; and it is not a little affliction that will 
 lay hold of me. Those words have impressed me of late, < It 
 Avas in my heart to chastise them.' '* 
 
 Just about this time, he wrote to me, as follows : — *' My do- 
 mestic trials are exceedingly great, far, very far, beyond what 
 I ever met with before, I was taken very ill last Friday, July 
 7, with a pain under my left breast, and was bled on Saturday 
 Yesterday, (Lord's day,) I could not engage in any thing, nor 
 could I have done so, if Mr. Hall, who providentially was in 
 town, had not been here. I feel better this morning, though 
 I have had but little more than two hours' sleep. You need 
 not speak of it ; but Mrs. Fuller has not slept at all last nightj 
 and, through the effect of her hysterical complaints, she is, at 
 this time, as destitute of reason as an infant. My heart has 
 not much sunk, because I look upon the derangement of her 
 mind to be temporary ; but the Lord knows what is before us ! 
 I feel also an habitual calmness, in finding myself just in that 
 situation that God would have me be in ; and I find, that now 
 is the time for me to bear witness for him. Dear Brother, we 
 have each of us, at this time, our peculiar trials. O that we 
 may be found unto praise." This was written July 9, 1792. 
 
 In August, I visited Bristol, (where I had before spent four 
 Lord's days, in March and April,) and while there, received 
 the affecting account of Mrs. F.'s illness and death, in substance 
 the same with the following. 
 
 TO MR. GARDINER, MRS. FULLEr's FATHER. 
 
 « Aug. 15, 1792. 
 " Dear and Honoured Father, 
 « You have heard, I suppose, before now, that my dear com- 
 panion is no more 1 For about three months back, our afflic- 
 tions have been extremely heavy. About the beginning of 
 June, she was seized with hysterical affections, which, for a 
 time, deprived her of her senses. In about a week, however, 
 she recovered them, and seemed better ; but soon relapsed 
 again : and during the months of July and August, a very few 
 
MR. FULLER. 213' 
 
 intervals excepted, her mind has been constantly deranged. 
 In this unhappy state, her attention has generally been turned 
 upon some one object of distress : sometimes, that she had 
 lost her children ; sometimes, that she should lose me. For 
 one whole day, she hung about my neck, weeping, for that I 
 was going to die, and leave her. The next morning, she still 
 retained the same persuasion ; but, instead of weeping for it, 
 she rejoiced with exceeding joy. — * My husband (said she,) is 
 going to heaven ... and all is well I .... I shall be pro- 
 vided for,* &c. Sometimes, we were her worst enemies, and 
 must not come near her ; at other times, she would speak to 
 me in the most endearing terms. Till very lately, she has been 
 so desirous of my company, that it has been with much diffi- 
 culty that I have stolen away from her, about two hours in the 
 twenty-four, that I might ride out for the air, my health having 
 been considerably impaired. But lately, her mind took another 
 turn, which to me, has been very afflictmg It is true, she never 
 ceased to love her husband. — ' I have had (she would say,) as 
 tender a husband as ever woman had .... but you are not my 
 husband !' She seemed, for the last month, really to have con- 
 sidered me as an impostor, who had entered the house, and 
 taken possession of the keys of every place, and of all that be- 
 longed to her and her husband ! Poor soul 1 for the last month, 
 as I said, this and other notions of the kind have rendered her 
 more miserable than I am able to describe I She has been fully- 
 persuaded, that she was not at home ; but had wandered some- 
 where from it, had lost herself, and fallen among strangers ! 
 She constantly wanted to make her escape ; on which account, 
 we were obliged to keep the doors locked, and to take away the 
 keys. < No ! (she would say to me, with a countenance full 
 
 of inexpressible anguish,) This is not my home you 
 
 are not my husband these are not my children. Once, 
 
 I had a good home .... and a husband who loved me .... 
 
 and dear children and kind friends .... but where 
 
 am I now ? I am lost I I am ruined 1 What have I done ? Oh ! 
 what have I done ? Lord, have mercy upon me I' In this strain, 
 she would be frequently walking up and down, from room to 
 room, bemoaning herself, without a tear to relieve her, wring- 
 35 
 
2/4 JtlEMOlRS OF 
 
 in?j her hands, first looking upwards, then downwards in all the 
 attitudes of wild despair ! You may form some conception 
 what must have been my feelings, to have been a spectator of 
 all this anguish, and at the same time, incapable of affording 
 her the smallest relief, 
 
 <* Though she seemed not to know the children about her, yet 
 she had a keen and lively remembrance of those that were 
 taken away. One day, when I was gone out for the air, she 
 went out of the house. The servant, missing her, immedi- 
 ately followed, and found her in the grave-yard, looking at the 
 graves of her children. She said nothing ; but with a bitter- 
 ness of soul, pointed the servant's eyes to the wall, where the 
 name of one of them who was buried in 1783, was cut in the 
 stone. Then, turning to the graves of the other children, in an 
 agony, she, with her foot struck off the long grass, which had 
 grown over the flat stones, and read the inscriptions with silent 
 anguish, alternately looking at the servant and at the stones. 
 
 " About a fortnight before her death, she had one of the hap- 
 piest intervals of any during the affliction. She had been la- 
 menting, on account of this impostor that was come into her 
 house, and would not give her the keys. She tried, for two 
 hours to obtain them by force, in which time she exhausted all 
 her own strength, and almost mine. Not being able to obtain 
 her point, as I was necessarily obliged to resist her in this mat- 
 ter-, she sat down and wept— threatened me, that God would 
 surely judge me, for treating a poor helpless creature in such a 
 manner ! I also was overcome with gri'^f : I wept with her. 
 The sight of my tears seemed to awaken her recollections. 
 
 With her eyes fixed upon me, she said, ' Why, are 
 
 you indeed my husband ?' Indeed, my dear, I am T < O ! if I 
 thought you were, I could give you a thousand kisses!* ^Indeed'^ 
 my dear, I am your own dear husband 1' She then seated her- 
 self upon my knee, and kissed me several times. My heart 
 dissolved, with a mixture of grief and joy. Her senses were 
 restored, and she talked as rationally as ever. I then persuad- 
 ed her to go to rest, and she slept well. 
 
 « About two in the morning, she awoke, and conversed with 
 me as rationally as ever she did in her life ; said, her poor 
 
MB. FULLER. 2tb 
 
 head had been disordered, that she had given me a deal of 
 trouble, and feared she had injured my health ; begged 1 would 
 excuse all ner hard thoughts and speeches; and urged this as 
 a consideration — •• Though 1 was set against you, yet 1 was not 
 set against you a* my /lusdand.* Sne desn^ed 1 would ride out 
 every day for the air; gave directions to the seivant about i.er 
 family ; told her where tins ana tnat aiticle were to be found, 
 whicn she wanted ; inquired after various tamiiy concerns, and 
 how they had been conducted since she iiad been iii : and thus 
 we continued talking togetner till morning. 
 
 " She continued mucn tne same, ail tne forenoon ; was de- 
 lighted with the conversation of Robert, whose heart also was 
 dehghted, as he said, to see his mother so well. * Robert, (said 
 she,) we shall not live together much longer.' ' Yes, motiier, 
 (repUed the chiio,) 1 hope we shall live together for ever i' Joy 
 sparkled in her eyes, at tnis answer : she stroked nis head, and 
 exclaimed, ' O bless you, my dear ! how came such a thought 
 into your mind I' 
 
 " Towards noon, she said to me, ' We will dine together, 
 to-day, my dear up stairs.' We did so. But while we were 
 at dinner, in a few minutes her senses were gone ; nor did she 
 ever recover them again I From this happy interval, however^ I 
 entertained hopes that her senses would return when she was 
 delivered, and came to recover her strength. 
 
 " On Thursday, the 23d instant, she was delivered of a daugh- 
 ter, but was all the day, very restless, full of pain and misery, 
 no return of reason, except that, from an aversion to me which 
 she had so long entertained, she called me * my dear,' and 
 twice kissed me : said she <- must die,' ana ' let me die my dear,* 
 said she ' let me die i' iietween nine and ten o'clock, as there 
 seemed no immediate sign of a change, and being very weary, I 
 went to rest ; but about eleven, was called up again, just time 
 enough to witness the convulsive pangs of death, which in about 
 ten minutes carried her off. 
 
 " Poor soul I What she often said is now true. She was not 
 at home ... 1 am not her husband . . . these are not her 
 children . . . but she has found her home ... a home, a hun" 
 band, and a family better than these. 
 
!2r6 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 « It is the cup which my Father hath given me to drink, and 
 shall I not drink it ? Amidst all my atBictions, I have much to 
 be thankful for. I have reason to be thankful, that though her 
 intellects were so deranged, yet she never uttered any ill lan- 
 guage, nor was ever disposed to do mischief to herself or others ; 
 and, when she was at the worst, if I fell on my kness to prayer, 
 she would instantly be still and attentive. I have also to be 
 thankful, that though she had been generally afraid of death, 
 all her life time, yet that fear has been remarkably removed for 
 the last half year. While she retained her reason, she would 
 sometimes express a willingness to live or to die, as it might 
 please God ; and about five or six weeks ago, she now and then 
 possessed a short interval, in which she would converse freely. 
 One of our friends, who stayed at home with heron Lord's days, 
 says that her conversation, at those times, would often turn on the 
 poor and imperfect manner in which she had served the Lord, her 
 desires to serve him better, her grief to think she had so much 
 and so often sinned against him. On one of these occasions, 
 she was wonderfully filled with joy, on overhearing the congre- 
 tion, while they were singing over the chorus, ' Glory, honour, 
 praise, and power,' &c. Sue seemed to catch the sacred spirit 
 of the song. 
 
 <•> I mean to erect a stone to her memory, on which will, prob- 
 ably, be engraved the following lines : 
 
 "The tender parent wails no more her loss. 
 Nor labours more beneath life's heavj load ; 
 The anxious soul releas'd from fears and woes. 
 Has found her home, her children, and her God. 
 
 « To all this, I may add, that perhaps, I have reason to be 
 thankful for her removal. However the dissolution of such 
 an union may affect my present feelings, it may be one of the 
 greatest mercies both to her and me. Had she continued, 
 and continued in the same state of mind, (which is not at all im- 
 probable,) this, to all appearance, would have been a thousand 
 times worse than death. 
 
 " The poor little infant is yet alive,* and we call her name 
 Sathoni ; the same name, except the difference of sex, which 
 
 • It died about three weeks afterwards. 
 
MR. FULLER. 277 
 
 Rachel ^ave to her last-born child. Mr. West preached a fu- 
 neral sermon, last night, at the interment, from 2 Cor. v. 1. 
 " I am, 
 
 " Dear and honoured father, 
 " Yours, in great affliction, 
 
 « A. FULLER." 
 
 About twelve months after, I received a letter, from which I 
 extract the following lines : 
 
 « Kettering, Aug. 29, 1793. 
 « My dear Brother, 
 
 " My head has been very poorly of late ; and my 
 
 heart, on the return of the 23d of August, much dejected. Mr. 
 Butler, of Gretton, lately lost a daughter, of twenty-four years 
 of age. I preached a funeral sermon on the occasion ; and, 
 riding through Corby woods, the following plaintive lines ran 
 through my mind : 
 
 ** I, who erewhile was blessed with social joys. 
 With joys that sweeten'd ali the ills of life, 
 And shed a cheerful light on all things round. 
 Now mourn my days in pensive solitude. 
 There once did live a heart that cared for me ; 
 I loved, and was again beloved in turn : 
 Her tender soul would sooth my rising griefs, 
 And wipe my tears, and mix them with her own: 
 But she is not ! and I forlorn am left. 
 To weep unheeded, and to serve alone. 
 
 •• I roam amidst the dreary woods . . . Here once 
 I walk'd with her, who walks no more with me.* 
 The fragrant forest then with pleasure smil'd : 
 Why wears it now a melancholy hue ? 
 Ah me ! nor woods, nor fields, nor aught besides. 
 Can grateful prove, where grief corrodes the heart ! 
 
 «* God of my life, and Guide of all my years ! 
 May 1 again to thee my soul commend. 
 And in thee find a friend to share my griefs, 
 And give me counsel in each doubtful path. 
 And lead me on, through every maze of life. 
 Till I arrive where sighs no more are heard !'* 
 
 * ** I went, with my wife and sister, into these woods, in the nut-season 
 about seven years ago." 
 
2f8 MBMOIRS OF 
 
 With reference to his second marriage^ Mr. Fuller writes 
 thus : — 
 
 *'July 18, 1794. — Of late, my thoughts have turned upon* 
 another marriage. That passage, whicii has been with me in 
 all my principal concerns tiirough life — ' In all tijy ways ac- 
 knowledge him, and he shall direct tny paths,' has recurred 
 again. 1 have found much ot the hand oi God hi guidmg me 
 to one in whom I hope to find an helper to my soul. 
 
 " Oct. 27. — I devote this day to fasting and prayer, on account 
 of my expected marriage ; to entreat the blessing ot bod upon 
 me, and upon her who may be connected with me, and upon all 
 that pertain to us. This mornmg, previous to family prayer, I 
 read 1 Kings viii. 22 — 66. The 38th and 39th verses were 
 much to me, as well as the 28th. 1 found a tenderness of heart in 
 prayer, alter reading. 
 
 " Dec. 30. — This day, I was married : and this day will, 
 probably, stamp my future life with either increasing happuiess 
 or misery. My hopes rise high of the former j but njy umes, 
 and tile times of my dear companion, are in the Lord's hands. 
 I feel a satisfaction that in her 1 have a godly character, as well 
 as a wife." 
 
 The above are extracts from Mr. Fuller's diary. In January, 
 1795, he wrote to me as follows : 
 
 " I was married on the 30th of December; and 
 
 though we made as little parade as possible, yet the bustle and 
 visits, Sec. have taken up too much of my time. 1 bless God, 
 for the prospect I have of an increase ot happiness. It is no 
 small satisiaction, that every one of our relations were agree- 
 able ; that there are no previous prejudices, to afford ground 
 for future jealousies. Two days alter our marriage, we invited 
 about a dozen of our serious friends, to drink tea and spend the 
 evening in prayer ; which they did, and Mr. Coles conciuacd." 
 
 Mr. Fuller's second wife, now his surviving widow, was Miss 
 Ann Coles, the only daughter of the Rev. William Coles, who 
 lived at Ampthill, in Bedfordshire, and was pastor ot the Baptist 
 church at Maulden, near that town.* 
 
 • Mr. Coles was born at Daventry, in Northamptonshire, March 2, 1735, 
 (0. S.) of pious parents, members of the Presbyterian church in that towp,. 
 
MR. FULLER, 279 
 
 The following letter from Mr. Coles, written to a friend, pre- 
 viously to this union, will be interesting here, as affording a tes- 
 timony of the high esteem entertained by him for Mr. Fuller : 
 
 " Mr. Fuller is a person who possesses such an high sense 
 •f honour, that you may place an entire confidence in him : 
 
 During^ his childhood and youth, as far as the restraints of education would 
 pernoit, he walked after the course of this world, till about the nineteenth 
 year of his agje ; when, hearing that a stranger was to preach at Flower he 
 was induced to go to heap him. This sermon, by Mr Bond, of Toft, 
 together with an affliction with which he was soon after visited, were the 
 means, not only of awakening his conscience, but of bringing him to the 
 knowledge of the Saviour ; he having had before, but very dark and indis- 
 tinct views of the gospel. The Kev. James Hervey, of Weston Favel, 
 having been much recommended to him as a preacher, he went thither, 
 for some time, to hear him. In 17.56. he resided, for a time, at Northamp- 
 ton, and attended on the ministry of Mr. Tolley, who was then pastor of 
 the church in College Lane He was much interested in his preaching, 
 and greatly affected by it ; and, becoming acquainted with some of the 
 »ost serious people, soon felt an attachment to them and their minister. 
 On his birth-day, 1757, (being 22 years of age) he was baptized, and 
 united to the church, having been led into the doctrine of believer's bap- 
 tism by immersion, by reading the New Testament only ; for the church 
 then admitted of mixed communion, as they do to this day. In September, 
 1757, he was called to the work of the ministry ; after which he preached in 
 several neighbouring villages, and in July 1758, removed to Newport Pag- 
 nel, and preached to the little Baptist congregation there, for ten years: 
 at the expiration of which term, he accepted a call to the pastoral office at 
 Maulden where he was ordained, Oct. 28, 176S. 
 
 When Mr Coles came to Maulden, the church and congregation were 
 in a very low state ; but by the blessing of God upon his diligent and faithful 
 endeavours, the congregatioa soon increased, and many were added to the 
 church 
 
 One good fruit of the Baptist Mission, amongst many which might be 
 noticed, may be here raent'oned. In 1795. Mr. Coles was at the Association 
 at Kettering : the interesting services at that time impressed his mind, and. 
 excited him to consider what might be done for the cause of Christ at 
 Ampthill. This had been thought of before, and wished for by him and 
 some of his friends. When Mr. Coles proposed it to them, several cor- 
 dially acquiesced ; and a small chapel was fitted up, on his own premises; 
 for occasional worship, in March 1797 : he was at the expense of the build- 
 ing ; and the friends subscribed for the seats. It was an high gratification to 
 him to see it well attended : his house and his heart were open to the 
 ministers who bo kindly supplied it by themselves and their students. 
 This, and the village-preaching through the exertions of the Bedfordshire 
 UnjoD, iacreased th© attendance at Maulden, so that it was found ttece»' 
 
280 MRMOIRS OV 
 
 he is exceedingly respected, both by his own people, and by 
 those of the other con?^re?:ations, who do not attend on his min- 
 istry. One of Mr. Fuller's friends, with whom I have been on 
 terms of friendship, for the space of thirty -four years, says of 
 him. that be knows no man in the world of ejreater respectability, 
 or more worthy of esteem in every view. Indeed, he seemed 
 to have a good report of all men ; and it is a very ^reat satis- 
 
 sary to enlarge the meetinsr-hnnse there When it was re-opened .Tuly, 
 1802, it was 8 gratifvin^ time to Mr. C !es, and cnnsed tears of joy : as he 
 observed that some congjregations declined as their pastors increased in 
 age, bat his was increased. This chapel is stiM well atf^nded Mr Coles 
 continued the affectionate pastor of his people, till, disabled by increasing 
 infirmities, he resigned his charge, April 14. 1805, and was succeeded by 
 the Rev. Samuel Hnbson, their present pastor who was ordained over the 
 church in 1808 Through the divine blessing on his labours, the meeting- 
 house has been again enlarged. 
 
 Mr. Coles's last illness was short : he was taken worse than usual on 
 Wednesdav May 17, 1809, and died on Saturday the 20th aged 74 His 
 bodily sufferings were gi'eat during that period ; but his soul wis supported. 
 A few weeks before his decease, and at different times till then, the fol- 
 lowing expressions dropped from his lips, besides many more, which could 
 oot be recollected. 
 
 *' Through mercy. T have no distressing fears— 1 have vet tured mv all 
 into the hands of Christ ; and if T perish. 1 perish : T have no other refuge 
 — Tknow in whom T have believed, ^c — T have not those ecstatic jovs some 
 Christians have been indiileed with but T have a steadp hope — (the last 
 words were repeated with an emphasis") — I desire entii-elv to submit to 
 the dispensations of divine providence — What are my sufferings, compared 
 to those the Lord Jesus endured for me, if T am a believer ? — 1 hope I 
 would not entertain an hard thought of God — ' A guilty, weak, and helpless 
 worm,' &c. — This is what the most eminent Christians must come to, 
 whatever may have been their piety or literary attainments ' He frequently 
 repeated the verse abovementioned, and that text, * T know in whom I 
 have believed.* At one time, especially, he spoke with such energy, and 
 such a continued flow of spiritual affection, as surprised Mrs. Coles, con- 
 sidering his bodily weakness and sufferings. Tt was like one on the verge 
 of heaven: but his speaking so quick, and other circumstances, rendered 
 her incapable of recollecting what he said. Mr Coles was exceedingly 
 earnest in praver for the spiritual prosperity of his late charge, and for 
 their present pastor The variety and fervour of his petitions was remark*- 
 able, in such a weak state. He often desired that the 1 2th chapter of 
 Hebrews might be read to him. He lamented, that he had done no more 
 for his great Master, and wished and prayed to this effect— that young 
 <«alnisters might abound in the work of the Lord, &cc< 
 
MK. FULLER. 28i 
 
 faction to me to be fully persuaded of this, as it affords a pleasing 
 prospect of happiness for my daughter, and for us all, in a nearer 
 connexion with him. 
 
 " I feel an entire confidence in the worthy man who is design- 
 ed, by Divine Providence, to be the companion of my daugh- 
 ter's life. I love him ; and the more I know of him, the more 
 I confide in him, as c good man, and a favourite of God. I 
 believe his heart is right with God, and that it will be well with 
 him, in life, in death, and for ever." 
 
 As Mr. Fuller entered on this connexion with a well founded 
 expectation of happiness, so he was by no means disappointed. 
 lie had six children by this marriage ; but the Lord saw fit to 
 remove three of them in their infancy ; and I trust, says the 
 surviving mother, we were enabled to say, ' The Lord gave, 
 and the Lord hath taken away, and blessed be the name of the 
 Lord.' Three still remain, two sons and one daughter.* May 
 they all know and love and serve the God of their parents. 
 
 The three that died were all daughters ; the eldest, named 
 Ann, was a year and eight months old. Both her parents had 
 been sitting up all night, waiching their dear little infant, the 
 last night but one of it's life ; and " a mournful night it was. I 
 shall ever remember it, (says the mother,) and in the morning, 
 my dear Mr. Fuller penned these lines : 
 
 ** Sweet babe ! why fix thy wishful eyes on us ? 
 We feel thy load ; but cannot give thee aid ! 
 Didst thou know aught, we would direct thine eyes 
 To HIM from whom alone thy help must come. 
 But what shall we do now ? — We will convey 
 Thy looks, expressive, up to Heaven's high throne ; 
 And plead, on thy behalf, with him who gave 
 A blessing, when on earth, to babes in arms. 
 
 *• On babes in arms our Jesus laid his hands ; 
 And at the instance, too, of others' prayers : 
 Were they not parents ? Be it so, or not, 
 If others' suit prevail'd, why should not ours ? 
 A mother pleaded once a daughter's cause. 
 And ' Be it to thee even as tliou wilt,' 
 Was Jesus' answer ! 
 
 * Since the first edition of the Memoir was printed, Mrs. Fuller has had 
 to mourn the loss of this daughter, the eldest of her children, and who 
 seemed to be her principal comfort since Mr. Fuller's death. Some ac- 
 count of her will be given in a note, 
 36 
 
"282 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 •* Oh ! our Redeemer, and our God — our help 
 In tribulation — hear our fervent prayer '. 
 To THEE we now resign the sacred trust, 
 Which thou, erewhile, didst unto us commit. 
 Soon we must quit our hold, and let her fall; 
 Thine everlasting arms be then beneath ! 
 In THEE a refuge may she find in death, 
 And in thy bosom dwell, when torn from ours ! 
 Into thy hands her spirit we commit. 
 In hope ere long to meet and part no more." 
 
 Before I introduce some farther instances of Mr. Fuller's 
 family trials, and the tender feelings of his mind under them, 
 I shall take the liberty of inserting part of a letter which I 
 received from Mrs. Fuller, since her irretrievable loss, in which 
 she says — 
 
 « I think, dear Sir, there was no one better acquainted with 
 the dear deceased, in his public character, than yourself : we 
 can, therefore, give you no information on that head ; but far 
 be it from me, to wish it to be held up in the style of panegyric. 
 I am certain, that would have ill accorded with his sentiments 
 and feelings ; and I know that this may be safely left to your 
 discretion But I cannot forbear adding my testimony to my late 
 dear husband's conduct in his domestic character ; which, so far 
 as his mind was at liberty to indulge in such enjoyments, I 
 must testify to have been, ever since I had the happiness of 
 being united to him, of the most amiable and endearing kind. 
 But to so great a degree was he absorbed in his work, as scarcely 
 to allow himself any leisure, or relaxation from the severest ap- 
 plication ; especially, since of late years, his work so accumu- 
 lated on his hands. I was sometimes used to remark, how much 
 we were occupied ; (for, indeed, I had no small share of care 
 devolved upon me, in consequence ;) his reply usually was, * Ah, 
 my dear, the way for us to have any joy, is to rejoice in all 
 our labour, and then we shall have plenty of joy.' If I com- 
 plained, that he allowed himself no time for recreation, he would 
 answer, ' O no : all my recreation is a change of work.* If I 
 expressed an apprehension that he would soon wear himself 
 out, he would reply, ' I cannot be worn out in a better cause. 
 We must work while it is day ;* or, ' Whatever thy hand find- 
 eth to do, do it with all thy might.' 
 
MR. FULLER. 283 
 
 " There was a degree of bluntness in his manner ; which yet 
 did not arise from an unsociable or churlish disposition, but 
 from an impatience of interruption in the grand object of his 
 pursuit. In this sense, he seemed not to know his relations or 
 nearest friends. Often, when a friend or an acquaintance, on 
 a journey, has called, when they had exchanged a few words, 
 he would ask, * Have you any thing more to say I (or something 
 to that effect,) if not, I must beg to be excused ;' at the same 
 time, asking them to stay, and take some refreshment, if they 
 chose. Yet, you know, dear Sir, he had a heart formed for the 
 warmest and sincerest friendship with those whose minds were 
 congenial with his own, and who were engaged in similar pur- 
 suits ; and I never knew him to be weary of their company. 
 I am fully persuaded, that my dear husband fell a sacrifice to 
 his unremitting application to the concerns of the Mission ; but 
 I dare not murmur. The Lord has done as it pleased him ; 
 and I know that whatever he does is right." 
 
 On Mr. Fuller's side, he testified his gratitude for this con- 
 nexion, in the following words : — " I have found my marriage 
 contribute greatly to my peace and comfort, and the comfort 
 of my family : for which I record humble and hearty thanks 
 to the God of my life 1'* 
 
 But a severer trial than any of the former awaited him ; 
 which proved the more so, in consequence of the hope he had 
 once seen reason to indulge. 
 
 On May 12, 1796, he thus writes : — « This day, my eldest 
 son is gone to London, upon trial at a warehouse belonging to 
 Mr. B. My heart has been much exercised about him. The 
 child is sober, and tender in his spirit : I find, too, he prays in 
 private ; but whether he be really godly, I know not. Sometimes 
 he has expressed a desire after the ministry : but I always con- 
 sidered that as arising from the want of knowing himself. About 
 a year and a half ago, I felt a very affecthig time in pleading 
 with God on his behalf. Nothing appeared to me so desirable 
 for him, as that he might be a servant of God. I felt my heart 
 much drawn out to devote him to the Lord, in whatever way he 
 might employ him. Since that time, as he became of aye fer 
 
284 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 business, my thoughts have been much engaged on Iiis behalL 
 As to giving him any idea of his ever being engaged in the 
 ministry, it is what I carefully shun ; and whether he ever -wiU 
 be, is altogether uncertain ; I know not whether he be a real 
 Christian, as yet ; or, if he be, whether he will possess those 
 qualifications which are requisite for that work: but this I have 
 done ; I have mentioned the exercises of my mind to Mr. B* 
 Avho is a godly man ; and if, at any future time, within the next 
 five or six years, he should appear a proper object of encour- 
 agement for that work, he will readily give him up. 
 
 " I felt very tenderly, last night and this morning, in prayer. 
 I cannot say, ' God, before whom my fathers Abraham and Isaac 
 did walk ;' but I can say, ' God who hath fed me all my life 
 long unto this day, the Angel which redeemed me from all evil, 
 bless the lad.*" 
 
 In a very short time however, the pleasing hopes he had in- 
 dulged were blighted. "Alas! alas ! (he says,) I have seen that in 
 the conduct of my poor boy, which has almost broken my heart 1'* 
 And shortly after, he adds, " I perceive I have great unhappi- 
 iiess before me, in my son, whose instability is continually ap- 
 pearing : he must leave London ; and what to do with him I 
 know not. I was, lately, earnestly engaged in prayer for him, 
 that he might be renewed in his spirit, and be the Lord's ; and 
 these words occurred to my mind — ' Hear my prayer, O Lord, 
 that goeth not forth out of feigned lips ;' and I prayed them 
 over many tmnes.'* 
 
 It remains for a future day to declare, whether, or not, this 
 prayer on his behalf was answered. His subsequent conduct, 
 however, for many years, was a source of great distress to his 
 friends ; and his father's heart especially was * tried and wrung 
 with anguish.' 
 
 In 1797, his father procured him a situation in Kettering ; 
 but a restless disposition soon discovered itself, and in 1798, he 
 enlisted in the army. In a letter to me, about this time, his 
 father says : " I have, indeed, had a sore trial in the affair you 
 mention : but I do not recollect any trial of my life, in which I 
 had more of a spirit of prayer, and confidence in God. Many 
 parts of Scripture were precious ; particularly the following : 
 
MR. FULLER. 285 
 
 * O Lord, I know not what to do ; but mine eyes are up unto 
 thee. — O Loid, I am oppressed, undertake for me. — Commit 
 thy way unto the Lord, and he shall bring it to pass. — Cast ihy 
 burden on the Lord, and he shall sustain thee. — Ail things work 
 together for good,' &c. Even while I kncw^ not where he was, I 
 felt stayed on the Lord, and some degret- o'i cheerful Sdtisfact on, 
 that things would end well. I know not what is before me ; 
 but hitherto the Lord hath helped me ; and still 1 feel resolved 
 to hope in his mercy." 
 
 In a little time, however, being understood to be an appren- 
 tice, he was discharged. Another situation was found ior him, 
 but in vain ; for, in 1799, he enlisted among the Marines, where 
 he continued till May, 1800. He then seemed to be sens'ule of 
 his folly; and, calling to mind the excellent instructions he had 
 received in his father's house, hfe bewailed the loss of Sabbaths 
 and religious opportunities ; and feeling the misery of his shu- 
 ation, applied to his father, to liberate him. This appeal, from 
 a returning son to an affectionate parent, was not in vain : his 
 heart went out to meet him, and he procured his discharge. 
 But the poor young man, having acquired a habit of roving) 
 could not brook an application to business, and in about a month, 
 again left his situation and his friends. On this occasion, his 
 afflicted father thus writes : — 
 
 July 21, 1800. The sorrows of my heart have been in- 
 creased, at different times, to a degree almost insupportable : 
 yet I have hoped in God, and do still hope, that 1 shall see mer- 
 cy for him in the end. The Lord knows, I have not sought 
 great things for him, and that I have bt;en more concerned 
 f@r the wicked course he was following, than on account of 
 the meanness of his taste. O may the Lord bring me out of 
 this horrible pit, and put a new song in my mouth !" 
 
 " July 31. — O, my dear Brother! My heart is oppressed; 
 but yet I am supported. Yesterday, 1 fasted and prayed, the 
 day through. Many Scriptures were sweet to me ; particularly 
 Matt. XV. 25. — ' Lord help me 1' — a petition in which a parent 
 was heard for a child, after repeated repulses. And Psa. 
 xxxiii. 22. I believe I shall live to sec good, in some way. 
 come out of it. My soul is at rest in God." 
 
286 MEMOIRS OS' 
 
 Perceiving there was no hope of his settling to business, his 
 father was desirous of rendering him comfortable in the line of 
 life he had chosen ; and by the kind interest of a friend, pro- 
 cured him a situation in a merchant ship. But, being on shore, 
 one Lord's day, before he joined the ship, he was impressed as 
 a sailor I 
 
 Thus his father's heart was pierced through with many sor- 
 rows ; but the deepest wound was yet in reserve. In June, 1 801, 
 it was reported, that his poor boy had been guilty of some mis- 
 demeanour ; had been tried, and sentenced to receive 300 
 lashes ; that he received them, and immediately expired ! 
 
 What feeling heart can forbear the deepest sympatliy with 
 my dearest Brother, under this overwhelming stroke ? 
 
 " Oh ! . . . (says he,) this is hearutrouble i In former cases, 
 my sorrows found vent in tears : but now, I can seldom weep. 
 A kind of morbid heart-sickness, preys upon me, from day to 
 day. Every object around me reminds me of him I Ah ! . . . . 
 he was wicked ; and mine eye was not over him, to prevent 
 it . . « . he was detected, and tried, and condemned j and I 
 knew it not .... he cried under his agonies ; but I heard 
 him not .... he expired, without an eye to pity, or a hand 
 to help him ! . . . . O Absalom ! my son 1 my son I would I had 
 died for thee, my son ! 
 
 " Yet, O my soul ! let me rather think of Aaron than of 
 D'ivid. He < held his peace,' in a more trying case than mine. 
 His sons were both slain, and slain by the ivrath of heaven ; 
 were probably intoxicated at the time ; and all this suddenly y 
 without any tiling to prepare the mind for such a trial ! Well 
 did he say, * Such things have befallen me !' " 
 
 Thus, though he mourned for his son, yet he did not refuse to 
 be comforted ; and in a few days, his mourning was exchanged 
 for joy: and who can refrain from rejoicing with him ? for his 
 son was dead, and is alive again 1 
 
 " Blessed be God ! (says he,) I find the above report is un- 
 founded ! I have received a letter from my poor boy. Well j 
 he is yet alive, and within the reach of mercy !" 
 
 Though this report was altogether erroneous, at that time ; 
 5''et, long afterwards, he deserted in Ireland, and suffered so 
 
MR. PULLER. 287 
 
 severe a punishment, as to be totally unfitted for the service, by 
 the dreadful effects it had on his health. This was in July, 
 1804. On the 6th of that month, his father wrote to me, as 
 follows : « I arrived at home, last night, [from Ireland,] well in 
 health ; but greatly oppressed with domestic trials. My young- 
 est child, whom I left well, died a week ago, and my poor wife 
 "Was and is greatly tried by the event, which was the niore dis- 
 tressing by my absence. My poor, unhappy son is at Cork. I 
 wrote to him, and he to me, while in Ireland. His letter inti- 
 mated, that he had but little hopes of living ; having a com- 
 plaint, for several months back, in his bowels. He expected to 
 be discharged. I invited him home. Last night, on entering 
 my house, I found all in deep distress ; having learnt, by a let- 
 ter which he wrote to a relation in Cambridgeshire, that his 
 present illness is the effect of having received 350 lashes, for 
 desertion !* In fact, he is, in a manner, killed I 1 do not ex- 
 pect his recovery ; or, if he should live, that he will ever be able 
 to provide for himself. Yet, if this were but the means of 
 bringing him to God, I should rejoice. Pray for us !" 
 
 Several months afterwards, he was discharged ; when he 
 ©ame to Bristol, and called at my house. As I knew that Mr. 
 Fuller would be in London the next day, on his way into Essexy 
 I sent him forward immediately, to meet him. His father re- 
 ceived him with the tenderest compassion, and put him under 
 the care of an eminent physician in town, who had formerly 
 resided at Kettering, and who expressed his hope of soon curing- 
 his dysentery, though it had been of so long continuance. Mr. 
 F. was speedily informed, that he was getting better ; and pre- 
 pared a situation for him, when he should be sufficiently re- 
 covered. Yet the poor young man seemed, after all his suffer- 
 ings, as though he could not bear the thought of settling to 
 
 • I never can hear of these horrible punishments, without admiring the 
 God-breathed humanity of the law of Moses, Deut xxv. 3 but especially 
 the blessed reason assigned for the limitation — lest, if he should exceed; 
 and beat him above these^ -with many stripes, then thv b bother 
 SHOULD SEEM VILE UNTO THEE. If Christian legislators had ant^ 
 bowels and mercies, such as the love of Christ ought to inspire^ would they 
 let (ke Je\rs so fgr exceed them in humaaity. R« 
 
288 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 business. " Alas ! (said his father, in a letter to me, dated April 
 23, 1805,) when he found himself getting better, he asked leave 
 to go to see his uncle, at the other end of the town, and returned 
 no more ! Where he is now, I know not ; but should not won- 
 der to bear that he was again in the army or the navy." 
 
 It proved to be the case, that he had enlisted among the 
 Marines, with whom he went to sea, and his friends never saw 
 him again. 
 
 In December, 1808, after his return from a voyage to Brazil, 
 and in the expectation of orders to sail for Lisbon, he wrote to his 
 father, acknowledging, with deep contrition, his guilt and folly> 
 and earnestly desiring a letter, containing a repetition of that 
 forgivenGss which he had so often abused ; urging it, on the 
 consideration that he was on the point of taking a voyage 
 " from which (says he,) I may never return !" With this desire, 
 of course, his father complied. It is to be regretted that a copy 
 of the whole letter was not preserved : the following extract, 
 however, has lately been found : — < 
 
 "Dec. 1808. 
 « My dear Robert, 
 
 " 1 received, with pleasure, your dutiful letter, and would fain 
 consider it as a symptom of a returning mind. I cannot but 
 consider you as having been long under a sort of mental de- 
 rangement, piercing yourself through, as well as me, with many 
 sorrows. My prayer for you, continually, is, that the God of 
 all grace and mercy may have mercy upon you. You may be 
 assured, that I cherish no animosity against you. On the con- 
 trary, I do, from my heart, freely forgive you. But that which I 
 long to see in you, is, repentance towards God, and faith to- 
 wards our Lord Jesus Christ; without which, there is no 
 forgiveness from above, 
 
 '*■ My dear son I you had advantages in early life ; but, being 
 continually in profligate company, you must be debased in 
 mind, and in a manner, reduced to a state of heathenism. In 
 some of your letters, I have observed you dashing, as it were, 
 against the rocks of fatalism ; suggesting, as if you thought 
 you were appointed to such a course of life. In others, I find 
 y<3u flattering yourself that you are a penitent ; when, perhaps, 
 
MR. FULLER. " 289 
 
 all the penitence you ever felt has been the occasional melan- 
 choly of remorse and fear. 
 
 " My dear son ! I am now nearly fifty-five years old, and 
 may soon expect to go the way of all the earth ! But before I 
 die, let me teach you the t<ood and the right way. ' Hear the 
 instructions of a father.' You have had a large portion of God's 
 preserving goodness ; or you had, ere now, perished in your 
 sins. Think of this, and give thanks to the Father of mercies, 
 who has hitherto preserved you. Think too, how you have 
 requited him, and be ashamed for all that you have done. 
 Nevertheless, do not despair ! Far as you have gone, and low 
 as you are sunk in sin, yet, \i from hence^ you return to God 
 by Jesus Christ, you will find mercy. Jesus Christ came into 
 the world to save smners, even the chief of sinners. If you had 
 been ever so sober and steady in your behaviour towards men, 
 yet, without repentance towards God and faith in Christ, 
 you could not have been saved : and, if you return to God by 
 him, though your sins be great and aggravated, yet will you find 
 mercy " 
 
 As this poor young man foreboded, this was his last voyage. 
 He died off Lisbon, in March 1809, after a lingering illness, in 
 which he had every attention paid him, of which his situation 
 would admit. 
 
 From the testimony of his captain, and one of his messmates, 
 we learn that his conduct was good, and such as to procure him 
 much respect : and, from letters addressed to his father and his 
 sister, a short time before his death, we hope still better things ; 
 we hope he was led to see the error of his way, and to make the 
 Lord his refuge from the tempest and the storm. 
 
 His death, under such circumstances, was less painful to his 
 friends, than it would otherwise have been ; and, in a sermon 
 preached the Lord's day after the intelligence was received, in 
 allusion to this event, from Rom. x. 8, 9. his fatlier seemed to 
 take comfort from three ideas ; that " 1. The doctrine of free 
 justification by the death of Christ is suited to sinners of all 
 degrees. It asks not how long, nor how often, nor how greatly 
 we have sinned : if we confess our sins, * he is faithful and just 
 to forgive us our sins.' 2. It is suited to the helpless condition 
 37 
 
290 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 of sinners. We have only to look and live. S. It is suited to 
 sinners m the last extremity. It answers to the promised mercy 
 in,Deut. iv. 29. — If from thence thou seek the Lord thy God, thou 
 shalt find him. Some are far from home, and have no friend, in 
 their dying moments to speak a word of comfort . . . but this 
 is near ! When Jonah was compassed about by the floods, when 
 the billows and waves passed over him, he prayed to the Lord, 
 and the Lord heard him." . . . 
 
 HeFe he was obliged to pause, and give vent to his feelings 
 by weeping : and many of the congregation, who knew the 
 cause, wept with him ! His heart was full, and it was with diffi- 
 culty he could conclude, with solemnly charging the sinner to 
 apply for mercy, ere it was too late ; for if it were rejected, its 
 having been so near, and so easy of access, would be a swift 
 witness against him. 
 
 This last narrative contains many things very painful to sur- 
 viving friends, which they would gladly have buried in oblivion 
 and which I would never have inserted, had they absolutely 
 forbidden me. But the strong room which there seems to be, 
 to hope that so affecting an account may be, under a divine 
 blessing, the means of reclaiming some unhappy youth in sim- 
 ilar circumstances, or of deterring others from rending a parent's 
 heart with anguish, and involving themselves in temporal mis- 
 ery at least ; has induced them to yield to my wish for its 
 not being suppressed. Parents also under the like trying cir- 
 cumstances, may I think, derive much instruction from this 
 example. 
 
 Mr. Fuller's trials, in 1811, though of a different nature from 
 the foregoing, were very paniful and accumulated. In Novem- 
 ber, I received from him the following account of the mercies 
 he had experienced, during the past year, in the midst of do- 
 mestic afflictions : — 
 
 " I feel somewhat better, and Joseph has good nights. About 
 twelve months ago, my family afllictions began. Sarah lost the 
 use of her limbs, and had a threatening pain in her side. An- 
 drew wasted away, under what the faculty pronounced to be 
 < a confirmed hectic' In January, when I went to London, I 
 expected the death of both. Our servant also was seized with 
 
MR. FULLER. 291 
 
 epileptic fits. In April, I was laid aside from preaching, for 
 three months ; and such a fever hung about me, as when I 
 seemed to be recovering, would often throw me back. Yet after a 
 year's afflictions, I have much to be thankful for. My daughter 
 though not well, yet has recovered the use of her limbs.* An- 
 
 * Her constitution, however, had received a shock from which she never 
 fully recovered. She was often troubled with a pain in her side, and 
 during the last eighteen months of her life, was frequently attacked with 
 distressing spasms in her stomach, and sometimes with spitting of blood. 
 This was particularly the case about the time of her father's death. In her 
 weak state, this bereavement was peculiarly trying. Her sensations on 
 viewing his corpse, were very acute : on quitting it, she felt as if it 
 addressed her, * Prepare to meet me !' and she said to a young friend, that 
 she wished her soul was with his. She afterwards observed to the same 
 friend, that if she thought she should see her father again, she had not the 
 least desire to live ; nor should she have any wish for his return, if she had 
 any hope of going to him. Toward the end of the summer she was better ; 
 but as the winter advanced, she relapsed, and fell into a deep decline, 
 which resisted all medical skill, and, in a few months, terminated in 
 death. 
 
 Her disposition from a child, was amiable. Integrity was a prominent 
 feature in her character She ap])eared to possess an habitual tenderness of 
 conscience, and was the subject of early convictions of sin ; which, though 
 transientin childhood, were more permanent as she advanced in years; but 
 owing to a natural reservedness, accompanied by a fear of deceiving herself 
 and others, it was very difficult to ascertain the real state of her mind and 
 feelings ; and when she had unbosomed herself, she seemed to repent, as 
 though she had said something, which after nil might not be true : and this 
 suspicion of herself continued almost to the last. About the beginning of 
 her last illness, in reply to the affectionate inquiries of her sister, she said, 
 ** I feel a great deal ; but am afraid to speak of it, lest I should deceive 
 myself and others. Having had a religious education, it is easy to talk 
 about religion ; and f am afraid, lest what I have felt should be merely the 
 effect of having enjoyed such a privilege, and so entirely wear off. I know 
 religion in theory ; and am fearful, lest it should be In theory only." She 
 wept much, and promised to communicate as much of her mind as she 
 could ; begging however, that her sister would not mention it to any one ;" 
 *' for," said she, " possibly, what I now feel may be only on account of 
 mv affliction ; and then, if I recover, it may all wear off, and I may bring 
 a disgrace upon religion." 
 
 It may be supposed, that this interview afforded much satisfaction to her 
 friends ; which was increased by the certainty that her mind had been 
 greatly exercised on these subjects, previously to this illness She was deeply 
 sensible of the disingenuousneas, as well as of the danger, of purposely 
 deferring the concerns of religion to a death bed. On this subject, she w«6 
 
292 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 drew seems quite Restored to health. My eldest daughter is, I 
 hope comlbrtably married. And my son John has been lately 
 baptized. Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his 
 benefits I" 
 
 once heard to express her sentiments strongly • On being told of a young 
 person who wished, that whenever she died, it might be of a consumption, 
 that time might be aftVirded her to repent i she said, it was '* so unreason,' 
 able to expect mercy after having lived in sin as long as she could .'" 
 
 In public worship she was a very attentive hearer, and clearly under- 
 stood and approved the doctrines of the gospel. Prayer-meetings were her 
 peculiar delight ; and her punctuality in attending them was truly exem- 
 plary : if any of her friends seemed indifferent to them, o+jserving, *' It is 
 only a prayer-meeting," she would express great disapprobation. 
 
 It was pleasant to observe the earnest desire she manifested for the 
 spiritual welfare of others, espeeiallv of the young. Her diligence as a 
 teacher in the Lord's day school, was worthy of observation ; and she was 
 extremely anxious for the adoption of a plan which had been proposed for 
 the private religious instruction of some of the elder children of the school, 
 nor would she rest till she saw it accomplished, though her diffidence 
 would not allow her to take wny active part in it. She once said to her 
 mother, in reference to this subject, '* Mother, when will you speak about 
 it ? I feel as if we were doing no good ; and it is so -wicked to live here 
 only to eat and drink, and sleep !" 
 
 During her illness, she spent most of her time, when able, in reading the 
 Psalms and the New Testament ; and vshen too weary herself to read, she 
 would hear the Bible read with great pleasure: and from her questions 
 and remarks upon various passages, it was evident that she was deeply 
 employed in meditating upon what she read and heard. If any part of the 
 Scriptures interested her more than others, it was the life and death of 
 Jesus Christ, as narrated by the four Evangelists, with Henry's Exposition 
 upon it Dr. Watts's f'salms and Hymns also, and his Divine Songs for 
 Children, were her companions : and she said she never understood them 
 so well as during her afHiction. 
 
 When Mr. Hnll, Mr. Toller, or any other pious friends visited her, for 
 conversation and prayer, though through her timidity and natural reserve 
 she could say but very little, yet she was evidently very grateful for their 
 kiixl attention to her best interests. 
 
 Many interesting expressions might have been preserved, if her mother's 
 grief and fatigue had not prevented. One evening her thoughts seemed 
 to be directed to the glory of the heavenly world ; and she particularly re- 
 ferred to that passage — " Now we see through a glass darkly : but then 
 face to face," &c. 
 
 About three weeks before her death, she wps exceedingly cast down, 
 under an apprehension that her concern might be merely the eflfect of 
 education, and arise rather from the fear of future punishment than from 
 
MR. FULLER. 293 
 
 The loss of his nephew, Joseph Fuller, was a trial which few 
 would have endured with such ready submission to the Divine 
 will. He had room to indulge the highest expectations of his 
 usefulness in the Cristian ministry ; and probably was not with- 
 
 love to Cod : but this cloud was soon dispelled, and light brake in upon 
 her mind. 
 
 Though doubtless, she felt the natural love of life, yet she was never 
 heard to express the smallest degree of impatience under her long and 
 trying affliction : and her mind became more calm and composed, as her 
 prospects of being restored to her fr^ffids declined. The only concern she 
 manifested in this particular, was in tlie idea of leaving her mother, to 
 whom after her father's death, she was especially endeared b\ her tender 
 and dutiful attentions, and who she knew, would deeply feel the loss of her 
 society. She one time said to her — '* I am quite happy, and have little 
 wish to live but on your account." Seeing her mother greatly distressed, 
 she in the tenderest manner, endeavoured to reconcile her to the loss of 
 her, by saying, •• Dear mother, do not lay your account with pining after 
 me, when I am gone : you have other children who will need your care, 
 and you don't know what trouble you might have on my account if I were 
 to live." Being asked if she did not feel happy in the thought of meeting 
 her dear departed friends in glory, she replied — " I do not think of that so 
 much as of seeing God, and praising him.'' A few days before she died, 
 she requested her sister to pray for her speedy release. The next day, 
 she said to her mother — *' 1 think I am going ... I feel so calm and com- 
 fortable." A short time before, she said she had no desire to live longer : 
 unless it might be for the glory of God, and that she mFght serve him. To 
 a friend who was speaking of his trials being so great, that were it not for 
 his family, he could be glad to leave the world, she said, — "Take care of 
 your motives, whether they are to glorify God, or merely to get rid of 
 trouble." — In short, the thoughts of serving and gloryfyingGod, whether in 
 this world or another, seemed to take place of all other considerations. 
 She did not however, attach any merit to the best of services ; and her 
 reliance for salvation was solely on the atonement of the Redeemer. She 
 said, he was all her hope, and all her desire. 
 
 When her younger brothers visited her, a few weeks previous to her 
 death, her earnestness with them was very affecting. On the morning of 
 the day on which she died, she expressed an anxious desire of speaking to 
 all the young people of her acquaintance, (mentioning several by name,) 
 in order if possible, to convey to them the strong impression of the weight 
 of eternal things, which filled her own mind, in the near prospect of eter- 
 nity ; and said if she had a wish to live, it was that she might see them 
 come forward and declare themselves on the side of Christ. Being asked 
 if she was happy, she replied — " Quite so : but 1 feel no raptures : and 
 if my desiv father did not, how can J expect it" 
 
 At her request, Mr. Hall was sent for, to whom she spoke with much 
 estinestness, lamenting to how little purpose she bad lived, and desiring 
 
294 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 out an expectation, that he would either become an useful Mis- 
 sionary, or eise, " as a son with the father, so would he have 
 served with him in the gospel." On account of his youth, I 
 kept him back from public exercises, during the time that he 
 was studying at Bristol ; accounting a premature popularity 
 one of the most dangerous trials to which a young man could 
 be exposed. But I should have expected any congregation, 
 whose approbation was worth having, to have been charmed 
 with the first discourse he delivered in the lecture room of the 
 B'.'ptist Academy, on John xii. 27. I was obliged to suppress 
 my feelings, and hurry out of the room, that I might not let a 
 lad of sixteen see how much I was delighted with what he had 
 been uttering. 
 
 I received the mournful tidings of his death, in a letter, dated 
 March 26, 1812, which I shall now transcribe : 
 
 « My dear Brother, 
 " I have just received yours, and by the same post, one from 
 Little Bentley, dated the 23d, of which the following is an ex- 
 tract : — ' This morning, about a quarter after seven o'clock, 
 our dear Joseph left this world of sin and sorrow, and we trust 
 
 him, if he thought proper, to improve her death in a sermon to young 
 people : entreating hira to be ve-ry particular in warning thera not to put off 
 the concerns of religion : and especially the children of the Sabbath school : 
 expressing her regret that she had so much neglected speaking to them on 
 that important subject, and her intention if she had been spared, to have 
 attended more to her duty in this respect. 
 
 This washer last effort; as she scarcely spoke a sentence afterwards : but 
 lay with great composure and serenity of aspect, waiting for her change, 
 which to«ik plyce between four and five o'clock in the afternoon of June 11, 
 1816 Her age was nineteen years and two months. 
 
 She was interred on Sabbath evening, June 16 : when an impressive 
 discourse was addressed to a crowded audience, by Mr Hall, from Psalm 
 cii 23, 2+ — " He weakened my strength in the way : he shortened my 
 days : I said, O my God, t ke me not away in the midai of my days ; thy 
 years are throughout all generations " The 548th Hymn in Dr. Kippon's 
 Selection, the 39th Psalm, (second part.) and the 102d Psalm, (second 
 part.) were sung 
 
 About a fortnight after her decease, Mr. Hall addressed an exhortation 
 to the children of the school^ on the occasion. 
 
MR. FULLER. 
 
 295 
 
 is entered into rest. He could not talk much ; but said, That 
 gospel which I have recomn\ended to others, is all my support 
 in the prospect of death. He was sensible to the last* Thus 
 God has blasted our hopes concerning this lovely youth. He 
 was eighteen years old, last October. 
 
 " Now it is fresh upon my mind, I will give you a few particu- 
 lars of such things concerning him, as fell under ray notice :— - 
 « In July, 1806, I took Mrs. Fuller to Bentiey, on a visit to 
 my brother and his family. Joseph was then under thirteen 
 years old. We observed in him a talent for learning ; and nis 
 parents seemed to think him not much suited to their business. 
 Mrs. F. therefore proposed, that he should come and live with 
 us, and improve his learning. The following October he came, 
 and we sent him to school, to our friend Mr. Mason, of Roweil, 
 After being there three months, he spent the winter holidays at 
 our house. One day he was looking over the Greek alptjaDet, 
 and soon got it by heart. He obtained a few msiructions 
 before the holidays were ended ; and on his returning to school, 
 I spoke to my worthy friend, the Rev. Mr. Brotherhood, of 
 Desborough, near Roweil, requesting the favour ot nis teacl-mg 
 him the Latin and Greek languages. With this requesi Mr. 
 B. not only readily complied, but geneiously declined any re- 
 compense for his trouble. On an evening, alter the school-hours 
 at Roweil, Joseph would walk over to Desborough, and spend 
 an hour or two with Mr. B. who, witn Mrs. B. treated him 
 as a young friend, rather than as a pupii. His diiigeuce, so- 
 briety, and good sense, raised him in tneir esteem ; and he had 
 a great respect and esteem for them. In tiiis course he contin- 
 ued through the year 1807, and 1808. He couici taik of religion, 
 and I believe from his childhood, had thoughts of the ministry ; 
 but as I saw no signs of real personal Christianity, I never en- 
 couraged any thing of the kind. In the autumn, I think of 
 1808, we perceived an evident change in his spiiit and beha- 
 viour. This was observed not only at Kettering, but at Roweil. 
 I found too, that he wished to open his mind to me ; and I soon 
 gave him an opportunhy. The result was, we were satisfied of 
 his being the subject of repentance towards God and faith to- 
 wards our Lord Jesus Christ. On April 30, 1809, I baptized 
 
296 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 him, and he became a member of the church at Kettering-. 
 Under these circumstances, I could not but think of his being 
 employed in the work of the ministry, provided his own heart 
 was in it. On gently sounding him upon it, I found it was. He 
 was too much of a child to be asked to speak before the church ; 
 and yet we thought no time should be lost in improvmg his 
 talents. A letter was therefore sent to the Bristol Education 
 Society, through your hands, recommending him as a pious 
 youth, of promising talents for the ministry. In August the 
 same year, he went to Bristol. At the vacation, in the summer 
 of 1810, he went home, and on his return, towards the end of 
 July, came by Kettering. At the church meeting, he preached 
 from 1 C<»r. ii. 2. ' For I determined not to know any thing 
 among you, save Jesus Christ, and him cruci%d.' He was then 
 under seventeen years of age, and a mere lad in appearance, but 
 his thoughts were just and mature. 
 
 " From the first of his religious impressions, he expressed a 
 desire to go to India as a Missionary, if he were thought a suit- 
 able person. I did not discourage him, but told him he was 
 too young at present, to determine on a matter of such import- 
 ance. On the above visit to us, in July, 1810, I inquired, 
 •whether his mind continued the same on that subject. He an- 
 swered it did. 
 
 " His journey from Kettering to Bristol, which (being very 
 fond of walking,) he principally performed on foot, was I fear, 
 injurious to him. He got wet, as I afterwards learned, several 
 times on the road. Towards the following Christmas, he told 
 me, he began to feel the complaint on his lungs. It is now 
 nearly a year, I suppose since he left Bristol, to go to his father's 
 house. After he had been there the greater part of the summer 
 of 1 8 1 1 , he paid a visit for a month or two, to the new Academy 
 at Stepney, where he was treated with great kindness by Mr. 
 and Mrs. Newman, as he had been, in the spring of the same 
 year, by Mr. and Mrs. Burls. Indeed, I may say, at every place, 
 he ' grew in favour with God and man.* 
 
 " Being myself in London early in November, I took him. 
 with me down to Kettering. Here he stopped about six weeks ; 
 during which, we used means for the recovery of his health, 
 
MR. FULLER. 297 
 
 but without efTect. So far as his affliction would permit, he 
 here enjoyed the company of his friends. He got over to 
 Rowell, and to Desborough, to see his dear friends Mr. Mason 
 and Mr. Broth'erliood. About Dec. 20, 1811, I took him to 
 Cambridge, whence he was conducted home. On parting, we 
 both wept, as not expecting to see each other again in the flesh. 
 So it has proved. His father informs me, that on the last 
 Lord's day in January, he was very desirous of going with him. 
 to Thorpe, to join in the Lord's supper ; which, though with 
 much difficulty, he accomplished. His death is one of those 
 mysteries in providence, not of very nnfrequent occurrence, 
 wherein God, after apparently forming and fitting an instrument 
 for usefulness in this world, removes it to another. But 'it is 
 well.' I do not remember to have known a lad of his years, 
 who possessed more command of temper, or maturity of judg- 
 ment, or whose mind seemed more habitually directed to the 
 glory of God." 
 
 My own ideas of this young man fully coincide with those of 
 his uncle ; but I shall only add two or three letters written to 
 him, by Mr. Fuller. 
 
 The first was addressed to him, while he was at Bristol j and 
 dated, 
 
 "Nov. 7, 1810. 
 «....! am glad to hear you are happy in your situation. 
 As to the complaints of the state of your mind, I would not, 
 by any means, reconcile you to a state of mind short of spirit- 
 uality ; and I am aware that the pursuits of literature, however 
 desirable, may be unfriendly to growth in grace. The great 
 point is, to keep the glory of God in view, learning that you 
 ■may be the better able to serve him in yoiir generation. And, while 
 a sense of your own unfruitfulness and carnalhy, (which I dare 
 say, is much greater than you are aware of, keeps you low, it is 
 necessary to look out of yourself for renewed strength. ' I 
 will go (that must be your language — ) in the strength of the 
 Lord God, making mention of his righteousness, and of his 
 only.' In his strength you may be a blessing; but if you go 
 forth in your own, all will come to nothing." 
 38 
 
298 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 "Kettering, May 11,1811, 
 " My clear Joseph, 
 
 " It concerns me to hear, that you arc not materially better. 
 Possibly, if the weather wtre different, it might be in your fa- 
 vour : but all is of God, and he will do that for us which is best. I 
 have been very ill, for some time, myself; but the soft southern 
 breezes of to-day have a iiule revived me. Cleave to the Lord, 
 my dear, and your heart will live. If it please God to restore 
 your health, this school of affliction may be as necessary 
 for you as that in which you learn Hebrew and Greek ; and, it 
 may be, more so. It is good to bear this yoke in youth. Lam. 
 iii. 27. 30. The mind, in youth, is in danger of being carried 
 away with vain company ; but early afflictions, sanctified, cause 
 us to sit alone and think : it is in danger of being lifted up with 
 high-mindedness ; but this humbles, and so prepares it to re- 
 ceive the divine mercy : and it is in danger of being impatient 
 of controul under the ills and injuries of life ; but this inures us 
 to bear whatever God sends. 
 
 " There is a number of words used by the Psalmist, in the 
 first seven verses of the 37th Psalm, which are worthy of 
 attention. — Trust in the Lord; delight thyself in the Lord; 
 commit thy nvay unto the Lord ; rest in the Lord ; and xvait 
 patiently., &;c. 
 
 . " By the time you get home, I may, if well enough, be going 
 my northern journey. I shall be happy to hear of your being 
 better, on my return. Mercy and truth be with you !" 
 
 "Newmarket, June 11, 18 H. 
 " Dear Joseph, 
 " Yodr affliction, as well as mine, seems to hang long upon 
 you. I think you should abstain from preaching, at present. 
 Dr. R. has been very anxious to know how you were. You 
 should write to him, before the end of July, to say whether you 
 will be able to return to the Academy, or not I expect he will 
 return from Scotland by the 14th of July. I have been better, 
 last week and this, than for some time past, not having once, 
 during that time, lost any rest, through fever. Last night, how- 
 ever, I had pretty much fever, though it did not deprive me of 
 my sleep. I have not yet preached. 
 
MR. FULLER, 299 
 
 " I think, should I again be restored to the work, it will be 
 ©f divine favour. I see something of the force of the Apos- 
 tle's words : * Unto me, who am less than the least of all saints, 
 is this grace given, that I should preach anjong the Gentiles 
 the unsearchable riches of Christ.' When David's army had 
 obtained a victory, men were eager to run and carry the tidings. 
 The victory obtained by Christ is not only of greater account, 
 but is unalloyed with what accompanied that victory, and 
 turned the joy of the day into mourning. 
 
 " Should the Lord restore either me or you, and employ us 
 
 in that work, it will be no small favour, and will involve no 
 
 small portion of responsibility. May we each have grace given 
 
 us to fight the good fight, and to finish our course with joy. 
 
 «1 am 
 
 " Affectionately yours, 
 
 <' A. F." 
 
 The concern of Mr. Fuller for the spiritual welfEfre of all 
 with whom he was connected, will appear farther from the 
 loUowing letters. 
 
 TO TWO RELATIVES. 
 
 " Kettering, Aug. 1784, 
 
 « My dear 
 
 " The unexpected death of has much affected me. 
 
 It is an awful thing, to be summoned to appear before God be. 
 fore we are ready. I have frequently many fears, lest this 
 should be the case with myself and my dear relatives. I often 
 long to know how your minds are affected about that great 
 event, and whether you have indeed been brought, with lamen- 
 tation and bitter weeping, to the Saviour's feet. O my dear 
 ■ 1 great sinners as we have been, there is mercy and 
 
 merit sufficient to save us. The Lord Jesus still says, ♦ Him 
 that Cometh to me, 1 will in nowise cast out.' And is he not 
 worth coming to ? Is not his mercy worth asking for ? Surely 
 it will appear so, when we come to die, or wnen we stand be- 
 fore God, in tne day of judgment ! 
 
500 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 " I once thought, that it would be a sin for me to pray, be* 
 cause it is said, ' The prayer of the wicked is an abomination to 
 the Lord ;' and 1 believe, many, on that account, avoid all prayer. 
 But I have since seen, that, if the prayer of a wicked man is an 
 abomination, it is because the prayer itself arises from wicked 
 motives, and is offered in a wicked way ; either from pride, as 
 the Pharisee — ' God, I thank thee I am not as other men are 1' 
 or from hypocrisy, as those who flattered him with their lips, 
 ■while their hearts were far from him. Let any one, with a sin- 
 cere and humble heart, beg of God, for Christ's sake, to cre- 
 ate in him a clean heart, and forgive his sins ; and the Lord 
 will not account this an abomination. And, if we find it diffi- 
 cult to return to God, we have encouragement to pray to him 
 to turn us. When Ephraim prayed, ' Turn thou me,* 8cc. the 
 Lord heard him, and said, he would surely have mercy upon him- 
 
 " I used to think, too, that the doctrine of election was a rea- 
 son why we need not pray : and I fear, there are many who 
 split upon this rock ; who think it is to no purpose to pray, as 
 things will be as they will be. But I now see, that the doctrine 
 of election is the greatest encouragement, instead of a discour- 
 agement to prayer. He that decreed that any one should be 
 finally saved, decreed that it should be in the way of prayer ; 
 as much as he that has decreed what Ave shall possess of the 
 things of this life, has decreed that it shall be in the way of in- 
 dustry : and, as we never think of being idle in common busi- 
 ness, because God has decreed what we shall possess of this 
 world's goods ; so, neither should we be slothful in the busi- 
 ness of our souls, because our final state is decreed. We may 
 be sure of this, for the Lord hath spoken it — that the wrath of 
 God will be poured out on the families who call not on his 
 name ; while the door of mercy will be opened to all who 
 knock at it. 
 
 " I hope you will excuse my freedom. It is, on some ac- 
 counts, with reluctance that I thus write, as it goes against me 
 to make you unhappy ; but what is present happiness, compared 
 with the happiness of a good hope in a dying hour ? 
 
 " My heart longs for you and the dear children. Give my 
 love to them, and tell them to seek after the salvation of their 
 
MR. FULLER, 301 
 
 souls ; for they must soon die, as well as we. Let them not 
 think, that to be religious is to be melancholy ; for, surely, to 
 live in the fear of God is the happiest life in the world ; and to 
 die in his favour, how desirable ! May this be the case with 
 us all ! I long that none of the family may be left behind. 
 " I am yours, 
 " Bound by every tie of duty, gratitude, and affection, 
 
 « A. FULLER." 
 
 ro HIS DAUGHTER, MARY FULLER, WHILE AT SCHOOL, AT 
 NORTHAMPTON. 
 
 <* If, my dear, you do really enjoy the presence of 
 
 God, and so see the greatness of your sin as to abhor it, and 
 yourself, on account of it ; that is, certainly, an evidence that 
 God has chosen you out of the world. If there be any doubt 
 in the matter, it is, whether those feelings which you enjoy be 
 excited by the Lord's presence, and whether the sense you have 
 of the greatness of your sin does lead you to bewail and hate it. 
 I do not mean to discourage you, or to suggest as if I thought 
 otherwise ; but it may be well for you to suspect your own heart, 
 which is deceitful. I may add, that if you think you ' see your- 
 self a great sinner,' it may be, in part, because you, at pres- 
 ent, know but little of yourself You are a much greater sin- 
 ner, my dear, than you are aware of ; and an interest in the 
 dying love of Christ is of far greater importance than you have 
 ever yet conceived. But let not this discourage you. Though 
 your sins be as scarlet, yet the blood of Christ is sufficient to 
 make you pure as snow. The blood of Jesus Christ cleanseth 
 from all sin. Believe his gospel, commit your soul to him as 
 a perishing sinner, and you will be everlastingly saved. See 
 Isa. i. 18. 1 Johni. 7. 2 Tim. i. 12. Follow on to know the 
 Lord, and you shall know him. Call upon him, in the name 
 of Christ ; that is, pray him to pardon and accept of you, and 
 grant all your petitions, not for your worthiness' sake, (for you 
 are utterly unworthy,) but for the worthiness' sake of his dear 
 Son, who died for sinners." 
 
J302 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 TO THE SAME. 
 
 « And is it so, my dear Mary, that your desire is 
 
 *o the Lord, and to the remembrance of his name ? Arc you 
 convinced of your having done deeds worthy of death, eternal 
 death ; and that all your hope and help is in the Lord Jesus 
 Clirist ? Is he precious to your soul ? And are you willing to 
 give up ail your sins, and to be his servant for ever ? If so, I 
 know of notliing that ought to hinder your being baptized in 
 his name. To see you thus put on the Lord Jesus Christ, will 
 afford the greatest pleasure to us, though it may be a pleasure 
 mixed with trembling. You are, at present, my dear, but little 
 acquainted with the snares and temptations of the world, with 
 the fickleness and sinfulness of your own heart, and with the 
 difficulty, on these accounts, of persevering in the good ways 
 of the Lord ; preserving a conscience void of offcnct towards 
 God and towards man : but, if God has begun the good work 
 in you, it will be carried on. There is strength to be had from 
 above ; and we are encouraged to ask it of him." 
 
 TO A$f ELDER RELATIVE. 
 
 "Kettering, Jan. 1801. 
 
 "My dear , 
 
 " My mind has been, of late, much exercised with a tender 
 concern for my relatives. Wnen 1 review the providence of God 
 towards our family, I see much cause for thankfulness. You had 
 a pious mother ; but she was taken away when you were young ; 
 and thus you were turned into the wide world, to provide for 
 yourselves. Yet God was merciful to you ; and you have all 
 been provided for, and several of you, amply so. But, my 
 
 dear , I am concerned, that we may be provided with an 
 
 inheritance when we take our leave of the present world. I 
 hope God has taught me the way to everlasting life, and I long 
 for my relations to go with me. You know, when 1 am in 
 
 —J my time is so taken up, that I have scarcely any 
 
 leisure to call on my relations, or converse with them : there- 
 fore it is that I now avail myself of an hour's leisure, to con- 
 verse with you by letter. 
 
MR. FULLER. 303 
 
 ^' From my earliest years, I have felt g:reat affection towards 
 you. Your amiable temper and familiar behaviour won upon 
 my esteem ; and that esteem now operates in a way of desire 
 for your everlasting- salvation. You are aware, that you must 
 soon go the way of all the earth. How is it with you, my 
 
 dear , as to the ground of your hope for another life ? 
 
 You have been preserved from most of those evils which dis- 
 grace humanity ; but vou know you are a sinner, and stand in 
 need of a Saviour. Though a religious life will be a sober one, 
 yet you know, mere sobriety is not relitrion. We are all sinners 
 against a holv Ood, and have incurred his hij^b displeasure. 
 It is of the last importance, that we know and feel this truth ; 
 otherwise, our hearts will be whole ; and if we be whole in our 
 own eyes, we shall not conceive that we need a physician. In 
 this case, we shall either live without calling on the name of the 
 Lord, and so be heathens, in fact, under a Christian name ; or? 
 if we pray in form, it will be only as form. I remember your 
 giving us Mason on Self-Knoivledge ; and there are manv ex- 
 cellent things in it, suited to young people. Without knowing 
 ourselves as inen^ we shall be ignorant, conceited, and unfit foi* 
 society ; but the main matter is to know ourselves as sinners > 
 without this, whatever decency of character we may maintain? 
 we shall be mere Pharisees in the sight of God. When I con- 
 sider, that all our righteousnesses are filthy rags, and will not 
 cover us at the last day ; that our very prayers and tears are, at 
 best, mixed with sin ; and, if not offered in the name of Jesus, 
 or with an eye to his mediation, are sin itself; I flee to Jesus, 
 the hope set before me in the gospel ; I implore, as a guilty, 
 miserable sinner, to be accepted and pardoned, wholly for his 
 sake. To this refuge my dear relations also are welcome to flee. 
 
 I long to see you, and , and all the dear children, safely 
 
 arrived, as in an ark, before the deluge of wrath comes. 
 
 " Tf you could spare time to give me a few lines, assuring mc 
 that you take this in good part ; and could you freely commu- 
 nicate the state of your mind with respect to an hereafter, you 
 would afford me much pleasure : or- if you had rather write to 
 some others of the family, and thev would communicate to me^ 
 
21D4 MEMOins OP 
 
 thouj^h my hands are constantly full, yet I would gladly spare 
 half an hour in answer. 
 
 « I am 
 
 " Yours affectionately, 
 
 « A. F." 
 
 I may add here some extracts from his letters to the Rev. 
 Mr. Coles, the present Mrs. Fuller's father ; though some of 
 them appertain rather to his own history, than to his solicitude 
 for the welfare of his relations. 
 
 *'Dec. 30, 1799. 
 
 After mentioning some indisposition of body, he adds, "Hith- 
 erto the Lord hath helped, and I trust will continue to help me, 
 though I know he might justly turn me out of his service, as 
 an unprofitable servant. Dear Mr. Benjamin Francis, of Hors- 
 ley, is gone home ; and so is Mr. Barnes, of Woodford, (near 
 Kettering,^ a Baptist minister, but little known, yet an honour- 
 able, useful character, who was sent into the ministry by our 
 church, about 1791. He was not much above forty years old." 
 
 « July 9, 1 804. 
 
 « I set off from Dublin, on Tuesday morning, the 5th in- 
 stant, at half past five ; arrived safely at Holyhead, that evening;, 
 and travelled night and day ; reached home on Thursday night, 
 at half past nine in the evening, in good health. Thanks to the 
 Preserver of men ! 
 
 " I have enjoyed but little comfort in Ireland, yet I hope I 
 have derived some profit. The doctrine of the cross is more 
 dear to me than when I went. I wish I may never preach 
 another sermon but what shall bear some relation to it. I see 
 and feel, more and more, that, except I eat the flesh and drink 
 "the blood of the Son of man, I have no life in me, either as a 
 Christian or as a minister. Some of the sweetest opportunities 
 I had on my journey, were in preaching Christ crucified, par- 
 ticularly from 1 Pet. ii. 7. Matt. xvii. 5. 1 John v. 12. John 
 Xvii. 21. and last night, from John xiii. 31. 32. But I feel, that, 
 if I were more spiritually minded, I should preach better, and 
 bear trials better." 
 
MR. FULLER. 306 
 
 "Sept. 25, 1804. 
 
 " We are soriy, that at your time of life, you should be called 
 to the painful work of separating members from the church ; 
 but while in the body, we shall be compassed with evil. 
 
 " My experience, of late, has been somewhat singular. I 
 think I have not, for a long time, felt such difficulty in getting 
 on in my work. I know not how to preach, pray, nor do any 
 thing, in a right manner: and yet, when engaged, have been 
 carried through with more spiritual mindedncss than common. 
 My heart also has been much set, of late, on preaching, if I 
 could, more on Christ crucified. If, in all my gettings, I had 
 got more of that heavenly wisdom, I should have been much 
 richer, in a spiritual sense, than I am. 
 
 " My mind has been low, of late, on account of the low estate 
 of many of our churches. Divisions, removals of ministers, 
 scandals, &c. occur in various quarters." 
 
 « March 4, 1805. 
 
 " Your afflictions give us concern. The descrip- 
 tion which the Wise Man gives us of old age, in Eccles. xii. is 
 but too appropriate — when * the clouds return after the rain.' 
 In youth and manhood they return after the sunshine, as in a 
 day of March ; but in old age, after the rain ; ill succeeding 
 afresh, on the back of ill, so as to admit of little or no inter- 
 mission, as the clouds in a day in November.'* 
 
 « April 27, 1805. 
 
 " We are much concerned to hear of your afflictions and 
 troubles. We are apt to promise ourselves, that our sun shall 
 set serene : so it appeared to your friends, as well as to you, but 
 a year or two past ; but your sky is again clouded. Well ; the 
 clouds will soon blow over ; and with eternal life before us, we 
 have no cause for despondency. 
 
 a — Whatever we possess, God may cover it with some cloud 
 or other, that may prevent our enjoying the possession of it. 
 Spiritual blessings are a certain good ; but every thing else is 
 uncertain." 
 
 "Sept. 29, 1805. 
 
 " We received Mrs. Coles's kind epistle of the 11th. The 
 
 j^ictions tiiat attend you excite our sympathy ; but you know 
 39 
 
son MEMOIRS OF 
 
 who only can help and support you. It has sometimes struck 
 me, that old age, thous^h to nature a time of decay, yet to faith 
 and hope is the prime of life. It is said of the Christian. ' he 
 shall brini^ forth fruit in old age ;' and to me, the fruits of grace, 
 in that period, appear the richest and the best. Methinks Paul 
 describes a cluster of them in Rom. v. — * Tribulation worketh 
 patience ; patience, experience ; and experience, hope ; and 
 hope' lays hold of eternal life, and so ' maketh not ashamed.* 
 May we, and our dear parents, abound in these graces to the 
 end. Then shall we finish our course with joy. 
 
 « Through the goodness of God, I had as happy a journey 
 into the North as ever I had. My journey was not less, I be- 
 lieve, than thirteen hundred miles ; in which I collected, I be- 
 lieve, as many pounds ; preached about fifty times in eight 
 weeks ; saw much of the work of God, I trust, going on ; and 
 never enjoyed my health better. I must go another tour, next 
 week, of nearly six hundred miles, to Plymouth ; but hope to 
 be out only two Lord's days. We met first in our new jplace 
 of worship, last Lord's day, when it was well filled. To-day, 
 we commemorated the Lord's death. I baptized three persons, 
 ]ast Thursday, in our new baptistery. Next Tuesday, we have 
 our Ministers* Meeting, when Mr. Hall, of Cambridge, is 
 expected to be one of the preachers.'* 
 
 "Nov. 24, 1807. 
 
 " You will smile, perhaps, when I tell you, that I 
 
 begin to feel the years draw nigh in which I shall cease to have 
 pleasure in them. I mean, you will hardly allow me yet to 
 think of being an old man. Well ; I do not find my mental 
 powers decay at present ; and as to my body, I feel as well, 
 when engaged in travelling, as at any time : but I can perceive, 
 that, in a little time, if I have not spiritual enjoyment, I shall 
 have but little. I was thinking, lately, of Psa. xcii. 14. — 
 <They shall bring forth fruit in old age.' And I thought I 
 found a cluster of such fruits in Rom. v. 3 — 5. 
 
 *' Old age, thought I, is a time in which tribulations com- 
 monly bear down the spirit; and, if unsanctified, they work 
 peevuhness ; but, if sanctified, patAence. I have known many 
 a good old Christian, whose heart was softened and mellowed by 
 
MR. FULLER. 307 
 
 them. His firmness became tempered with gentleness, and his 
 zeal with tenderness and prudence. When a youth, it may be 
 he was full of fire, and would hardly be persuaded to put up 
 with an injury ; but now he will give up every thing, but truth 
 and a good conscience, for the sake of peace. 
 
 " Old age, thought I, farther, is a time in which experievcc 
 becomes mature. Observation, and reflection are now ripened 
 into decision. This, if unsanctified, works obstinacy ; but, if 
 sanctified, ' the meekness of wisdom.' The aged Christian has 
 had large experience of his own ignorance, weakness, and de- 
 pravity ; and this renders him humble and forbearing. 
 
 *' Old age is a time in which heaven draws near, and hofit' 
 goes forth to meet it. Old age, if unsanctified, commonly in- 
 creases in covetousness. Strange as it may seem, when men 
 arc about to leave the world, they cling the fastest to it. The 
 ' lust of the flesh' has nearly spent Us force, the * pride of life' 
 has lost its charms ; depravity, therefore, has only one channel 
 left — ' the lust of the eye ;' and this conmnonly flows deeper 
 and stronger. But, sanctified by the grace of God, we shall 
 look higher, and seek after a better portion. How charming is 
 it to see the mind soar, while the body bows, and to hear the 
 venerable saint uttering, with broken but afl*ecting accents, 
 the words of the Apostle — ' I am now ready to be off'ered, 
 and the time of my departure is at hand. I have fought the 
 good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith,* 
 &c. or of the dying Patriarch — ^ I have waited for thy sal- 
 vation, O Lord.' Such hope * maketh not ashamed;' for, 
 having received the earnest, in the shedding abroad of God's 
 love in the heart, we shall receive the inheritance ; and 
 so shall not be ashamed nor confounded before him, at his 
 coming. Excuse the freedom of my seeming to sermonize. 
 Grace and peace be with you." 
 
 At another time, he wrote thus to Mr. Coles : — " We are 
 happy to learn, that, under all your compiicated afflictions, your 
 mind is calm. Of what unspeakable value is the doctrine of 
 the cross, in the prospect of death. He that believeth on Jesus 
 shall never see death ; for to him death is no more death, but the 
 harbinger of eternal life. 
 
1^08 MEMOIRS OT 
 
 " In journeying I have enjoyed much pleasure and cahn- 
 ncss of mind in the work. Sometimes preaching has been 
 pleasant, and sometimes private prayer, in which my dear tam- 
 iiy and Christian friends, have been always remembered. 
 Hitherto I have been mercifully preserved, in all respects. 
 My mind is calm and happy, and my approaches to a throne of 
 grace, at which I do not forget you all, have been free and 
 tender.'* 
 
 In May, 1 809, on receiving the painful intelligence of the 
 death of Mr. Coles, he wrote thus, to his afflicted widow : — 
 
 " Nottingham, May 24, 1809. 
 " Dear Mother, 
 
 " I find, by a letter I received last night, that dear Mr. Coles 
 has finished his course 1 God hath done his work and will. I 
 am aware, though it is no more than might be expected, that 
 when the stroke comes, it is often trying to our frame of dust. 
 God brought me and you, my dear mother, into this family, 
 nearly together ; and we have enjoyed his blessing in it, and, 
 perhaps, as large a portion of happiness as is to be hoped for 
 in earthly connexions. We have loved, and been loved of 
 those connected Avith us ; yea, we have all loved one another to 
 this day ; and I trust, shall do so to the end. You have the 
 comfort of Christian hope, both for the deceased and for your- 
 self; and I am persuaded, it will be the endeavour of your 
 hiends who survive with you, to do every thing in their 
 power, to alleviate your bereaved condition. 
 
 " My dear Mrs. F. and myself, have always felt towards you 
 much regard. Your kindness and assiduous attention to our 
 dear deceased parent, must needs endear you to us, were there 
 no other considerations ; but I trust, our hearts are united on 
 superior principles. 
 
 " I hope to return to Kettering on Thursday, and be at 
 Ampthill on Friday. Remember me, with much affection 
 and sympathy, to my dear Mrs. Fuller. It is painful to me 
 not to set off immediately, that I might partake in your 
 i^elings. 
 
 " With sentiments of tender sympathy, 
 " I am affectionately yours, 
 
 « A. FULLER.*' 
 
MR. FPLLCB. 309 
 
 I would add to this Chapter two or three letters that seem 
 worth preservmg. Though he was immediately related to 
 the persons to whom they are addressed, yet they indicate his 
 sympathy withtiie parental feelings of others, and thus illustrate 
 his own. 
 
 TO AN OLD FRIEND. 
 
 "Kettering, July 18, \7'99. 
 « My dear Friend, 
 « I find, by a letter, that you are in constant expectation of 
 losing your son. Since the time that you and I corresponded, 
 our circumstances, temptations, affiictions, and almost every 
 thing else pertaining to us, have undergone a change. We have 
 each had a portion of parental care ; and now, having passed 
 the meridian of life, we begin to taste the cup of parental 
 sorrow. We often talk of trials, without knowmg much of 
 what we say : that is a trial, methinks, which lays hold of us, 
 and which we cannot shake off. If we say, ' Sui-ely I could 
 bear any thing but this 1* this shall often be the ill that we are 
 called to bear ; and this it is that constitutes it a trial. And 
 why are afflictions called trials; but on account of their being 
 sent to try what manner of spirit we are of ? It is in these 
 circumstances our graces appear, if we are truly gracious ; and 
 our corruptions, if we be under the dominion of sin ; and too 
 often, in some degree, if we be Christians. When 1 have 
 experienced heavy trials, I have sometimes thought of the case 
 of Aaron. He had two sons, fine young men, colleagues with 
 their father ; God accepted of their offering, and the people 
 shouted for joy: every thing looked promising .... when, 
 alas ! in the midst of their glory, they sinned ; and there went 
 out a fire from the Lord, and devoured them ! Well might the 
 afflicted father say as he did : jind such things have befallen 
 me 1 yet he held his peace. I say, I have sometimes thought 
 of this case, when I have been heavily afflicted ; and have 
 employed my mind in this manner ; Such things befel Aaron, 
 the servant of the Lord, a much better man than I am : who 
 am I, that I should be exempted from the ills which arc com- 
 
310 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 mon to men, to good men, to the best of men ? Such things 
 befei Aaron as have not yet befallen me. He had two chil- 
 dren cut off together; I have never yet lost more than one 
 at once. His were cut off by an immediate judgment from 
 h .aven, and without any apparent space being given for re- 
 pentance : thus have not mine been. Yet, even Aaron held 
 his peace ; and shall / murmur ? The just shall live by faith, 
 God is telling us, in general, that all things work together for 
 good, to them that love him ; but he has not informed us how ; 
 n)r is it common under afflictions, to perceive the good arising 
 from them. It is afterwards that they yield the peaceable fruits 
 of righteousness. If the Lord should remove your son, perhaps 
 you are not without hopes of his salvation ; and, if the event 
 should cause you to feel more than you have yet felt, of the 
 perishable nature of all things under the sun ; and draw your 
 heart more towards himself, and things above, where Jesus is ; 
 you may have occasion, in the end, to bless God for it. God 
 knows we are strange creatures ; and that we stand in need of 
 strange measures, to restrain, humble, and sanctify us. 
 
 « Give my love to your afflicted child, and give me leave to 
 recommend to him. Him in whom alone he can be saved. I 
 doubt not, but you have recommended Christ to him, as a Saviour 
 of the chief of sinners; yet you will not take it amiss, if I ad- 
 dress the following few lines to him ; — 
 " My dear young Friend, 
 
 " You know but little of me, nor I of you ; but I love you for 
 your parents' sake. While health and spirits were afforded 
 you, you thought, I pre sume, but little of dying ; and, perhaps 
 Tvhat you heard by way of counsel or warning from the pulpit, 
 or from other quarters, made but little impression upon you. 
 A future world appeared to you a sort of dream, rather than a 
 reality. The gratification of present desire seemed to be every 
 thing. But now that Being against whom you have sinned 
 has laid his hand upon you. Your present affliction seems to be 
 of the nature of a summons : its language is, * Prepare to meet 
 thy God, O sinner !' Perhaps you have thought but little of 
 your state as a lost sinner before him ; yet you have had suffi- 
 cient proof, in your own experience, of the degeneracy and 
 
MR. FULLER. 81 1 
 
 dreadful corruption of your nature. Have you learned from it 
 this important lesson? If you have, while you bewail it before 
 God, with shame and self-abhorrence, you will embrace the 
 refuge set before you in the gospel. The name of Christ will be 
 precious to your heart. God has given him to be the Saviour 
 of the lost; and, coming to him as worthy of death, you are 
 w^elcome to the blessing of eternal life. No man is so little a 
 sinner, but that he must perish for ever without him ; and no man 
 so great a sinner, as that he need despair of mercy in him. 
 He has died the just for the unjust, that he may bring us to 
 God. His blood cleanseth from sin, and the benefits of it are 
 free. The invitations of the gospel are universal. Though God 
 would never hear the prayers, or regard the tears of a sinner like 
 you, for your own sake ; yet he will hear, from heaven, his 
 dwelling-place, that petition which is sincerely offered in the 
 name of his Son. Repent of your sin, and you shall find 
 mercy ; believe his gospel with all your heart, and you shall 
 live. Plead the worthiness of Christ as the ground of accep«* 
 tance, to the utter rejection of your own, and Uod will gra- 
 ciously hear, forgive, and save you. Every one that thus asketh, 
 receiveth ; and he that seeketh, findeth ; and to him that knock- 
 eth, the door of mercy shall be opened. In all your supplica- 
 tions for mercy, be sure you found your petitions on the wor- 
 thiness of Christ alone. But, if you can see no loveliness in 
 him, nor beauty, that you should desire him ; depend upon it, 
 you are yet in your sins, and so dying, you must perish. I 
 do not know whether you have, at any time, been inclined to 
 listen to the abominable suggestions of Infidels ; but, if you 
 have, you now perceive that those are principles that will not 
 stand by you in the near approach of death. If the Lamb of 
 God, that taketh away the sin of the world, be not now a com- 
 fort to you, you are comfortless. Look to him, my dear young 
 friend, and live." 
 
 I add another letter, which was vsent to the son of an intimate 
 friend. 
 
312 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 f* Jan. 21, 1799. 
 
 « My dear young Friend, 
 " On account of the long and intimate acquaintance which 
 I have had with your honoured parents, your welfare lies near 
 my heart. I see their likeness in your face, and should be 
 happy to see it in your spirit. You are now growing up to 
 years of maturity, and must shortly take your stand, either on 
 the Lord's side, or on the side of his adversary. Your father 
 has put up thousands of ardent prayers on your behalf; 
 but they will avail you nothing, unless you yourself join in 
 calling upon the name of the Lord. You have read more books 
 than most children of your age, and, amongst others, the Book 
 of books, the Bible. You have read in this book, that, except 
 •we repent^ IV p must all perish. That you have sins to repent 
 of, you yourself know ; and have you, my d»iar, repented ? Did 
 your heart ever dissolve with grief for your being such a sinner 
 against the Lord ! You have read. He that believeth on the Sony 
 hath everlasting life ; and he that believeth not the Son^ shall 
 not see life ; but the wrath of God abideth on him. And are 
 you a believer on the Son of God ? Perhaps you think you are j 
 but it is not your yielding an assent to what your parents teach 
 you, that will denominate you a believer. He that believeth in 
 Christ, to the saving of his soul, must know and feel himself 
 a perishing sinner without Christ ; and have you known and 
 felt your perishing condition ? To them also who believe in 
 Christ, he is precious ; so that his name, and gospel, and peo- 
 ple, are dear to them ; more dear than food or raiment, or gold, 
 or friends, or all the thingfs which they can desire. And is Christ 
 thus precious to you ? If he is, eternal bliss is before you ; if 
 not, the wrath of God abideth on you. Think, my dear lad, of 
 these things, and call upon the name of the Lord, that you may 
 be saved. 
 
 « A few weeks ago, I heard a sermon delivered to some hun- 
 dreds of young people ; and I find that the minister usually 
 delivered such a sermon to the young people of his congrega- 
 tion, about the beginning of the new year. As I felt interested 
 in it, I took down a considerable part of it in short hand ; and 
 «ow I will send it to you, in hope that you will feel interested in 
 
MR. FULLER. 313 
 
 it, as much as I did. The text was Psa. xc. 14. — * O satisfy 
 us early with thy mercy, that we may rejoice and be glad all 
 our days.' '* 
 
 This was a sermon of his own, which has since been printed 
 at Edinburgh, and which, on that account, I omit transcribing. 
 
 Thus did he earnestly watch for opportunities to do good to 
 the children of his friends, as well as to his own, and to his 
 more distant relatives. Surely, our brethren who think us mis- 
 taken in not daring to baptise our infants, unless we could find 
 precept, precedent, or satisfactory consequence, in favour of that 
 practice, in the New Testament, must admit, tliat he was as 
 much concerned for the salvation of his children, as they can be 
 for the spiritual welfare of tlieirs. I trust this is generally the 
 case with others of our persuasion. 
 
 40 
 
CHAP. X. 
 
 AN ACCOUNT OF MR. FULLEr's FRAME OF MIND, UNDER 
 VARIOUS PERSONAL AFFLICTIONS, AND IN HIS LAST 
 ILLNESS AND THE IMMEDIATE APPROACH OF DEATH 
 
 HIS LAST LETTER TO THE EDITOR AN ACCOUNT 
 
 OF HIS FUNERAL EXTRACT FROM MR. TOLLER's 
 
 SERMON, &C. 
 
 BEFORE I enter on the peculiar subject of this Chapter, 
 I would remark, that 1 cannot but think, that the preceding- 
 account contains much to illustrate the life^ nvalk^ work, and 
 Jight of faith. My dear Brother could truly say, * I through 
 the law am dead to the law, that 1 might iwe. unto God.' 
 He had that impressive sense of the extent, strictness, and 
 spirituality of the divine la^v, and, at the same time, that deep 
 conviction of it's perfect equity and goodness, which induced 
 him, from a cordial approbation of its requirements, and a 
 thorough acquiescence in the justice even of its penal sanctions, 
 to renounce all dependence upon any righteousness of his own. 
 He considered the attempt of a sinner to recommend himself 
 unto God, by any supposed merit of his own, as insolent 
 presumption ; as illegal as it is anti-evangelical. He loved the 
 law too well to wish it altered, or abated, or to be in any way 
 dishonoured : and his acquaintance with the gospel confirmed 
 and increased the force of this sentiment ; for he was crucified 
 with Christ j he entered into the manitest import of his death ; 
 and inferred, tiiat if it were requisite for one of such dignity 
 as the incarnate Son of God to die for all that shall be saved, 
 
316 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 to prevent their escaping personal punishment from being a 
 disnoiiour to the divine government, then were they all dead, 
 or justly and fairly condemned to eternal death ; for, if they had 
 not deserved the curse of the law themselves, its infliction 
 upon him, in their stead, must have been the most shocking 
 event that could be conceived ! On this supposition, the atone- 
 ment must be considered, not as an infinitely wise expedient* 
 to prevent any ill effect from following the pardon of inexcu- 
 sable criminals, who were not fit to be objects even of mercy 
 without a full exhibition of God's abhorrence of their crimes ; 
 but. (Heaven forbid the blasphemy !) an amends made to ust 
 for the rigour of a law too severe to be enforced, and which 
 would have excused, or even justified, our enmity, had not such 
 deliverance been granted ! Far otherwise, indeed, were my 
 friend's views of the cross of Christ. He understood the just 
 import of the atonement ; and hence, living and dying, he as- 
 cribed all his salvation to rich, free, and sovereign grace ; not 
 calling that kindness by the name g^ grace ^ which was imagined 
 necessary to prevent the divine character from being impeached, 
 on account of too much severity ; but considering grace as 
 goodness extended to the unworthy and hell-deserving ; or as 
 imparting the highest good to those who truly deserved wrath 
 to come upon them to the uttermost ; and this, in such a way, 
 as more strongly to express God's abhorrence of sin, than any 
 punishment which the sinner couid have endured in his own 
 person, to eternity. 
 
 Thus, his illegal hopes being slain, he was begotten again 
 to a new and lively hope, by the resurrection of Jesus Christ 
 from the dead ; and, though crucified with Christ, ne-uertheless 
 he livedo and that unto God ; entering into the holy tendency 
 of the gospel, as well as into its humbling im^iort. Hence, 
 the life wiiich he lived in the flesh, he lirved by the faith of the 
 Son of God ; accounting, that, if Jesus loved him, and gave 
 himself for him, it must be most reasonable that he should love 
 the Redeemer, in return, and devote himself wholly to him. 
 He felt that he was not his own ; but, having been bought with 
 a price, was bound to live, not to himself, but to him that 
 (lied and rose again. He considered every obligation to obedi- 
 
MR. FULLER. 317 
 
 ciice, under which a rational creature could lie antecedently to 
 the consideration of redemption, as confirmed and enhanced by 
 the mediation of that illustrious person, who has magnified the 
 law and made it honourable ; and he felt himself laid under 
 new, additional, powerful, and endearing obligations, by the 
 love of the Saviour, and the benefit secured to him, through his 
 gracious interposition. 
 
 He considered the perfect obedience of God's incarnate Son, 
 who voluntarily assumed the form of a servant, as being at 
 once, the sole ground of his justification, and the lovely fiattern 
 of his sanctification. And the former view of it, instead of ob- 
 scuring the latter, only endeared it to him the more abundantly. 
 That Holy One could never say, * Because I am holy, ye need 
 not be holy:' his language is, Ashe toho hath called you is 
 holy^ 80 be ye holy^ in all manner of conversation ; because it is 
 tvritten, Be ye holy^for I am holy. Hence, as he desired to 
 be found in Christy not having his oivn righteousness^ which is 
 of the lawj but that ivhich is through the faith of Christy the 
 righteousness nvhich is of God by faith j so he lived upon him 
 for strength, as well as for righteousness. He earnestly sought 
 sanctification* from Christ, as well as justification in Christ. 
 
 * Some, of late, are not satisfied with the idea of an imputed righteous' 
 ness for justification ; but talk also of an imputed sanctijlcation. What do 
 they intend by this phrase If they rnean no more than this — that God, 
 (in placing to the account of the believer that obedience of one by which 
 many are made righteous, or, for the sake of ^^hich all believers shall be 
 treated as if they had personally and perfectly fulfilled the law, and shall 
 enjoy even a greater reward than they could, in that case, have expected,) 
 has a regard, not only to the good actions of his beloved '^on, but also to 
 his holy disposition ; we should never hesitate, for a momeiit, in maintain- 
 ing the same. We only ask, how dare they labour to throw an odium on 
 their brethren, as though they denied this ? 
 
 But, if they mean to deny, that any internal holiness is imparted /ro?M 
 Christ to his people, or that the branches of the true vine are made fruit' 
 ful by the vital nourishment derived from the root : then, indeed, Ave dis- 
 claim all brotherhood with such professors 1 would say, 
 
 '* O my soul, come not thou into their secret ; 
 
 Unto their assembly, mine honour, be not thou united !" 
 
 Though such men, by their fair speeches about free grace, may beguile 
 unstable souls ; yet they are enemies to tlie cross of Christ, and tlie ad- 
 rersarJes of divine grace. They who deny all duty and obligation, mnst 
 
318 iMEMOIRS OB^ 
 
 Though deeply convinced, that, separate from him, he could do 
 nothing ; yet he rejoiced that he could do all things, through 
 Christ who strengthened him. And the tenor of his life evinced 
 that Christ wrought in him mightily. He walked by faith, and 
 not by siglit ; regarding invisible realities as of infinitely greater 
 importance than all the things that are seen. His faith, work- 
 ing by love to God and holiness, to all saints, and to the souls 
 of men, made him wiiiinp; to spend and be spent for the honour 
 of his Lord, and the advancement of his kingdom, even to the 
 ends of the earth. His faith opposed whr.tsoever was opposite 
 to the glory and the revealed will of God. He contended 
 earnestly for the faith once delivered to the saints, guarding 
 against error^ on the right hand and on the left. It engaged 
 him also in a constant conflict with sm, especially with sin in 
 his own bosom, against which he incessantly watched and 
 prayed. And now this good Jight has ended in complete vic- 
 tory ; and he has joined them, who, with palms in their hands, 
 are surrounding; the throne of God and the Lamb. 
 
 He was concerned, not only to do the will of God, but to 
 suffer it also. The last Chapter has shown how he was sup- 
 ported \uider manifold relative afflictions, under which he en- 
 dured hardness as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. And, in 
 this Chapter, 1 shall take a survey of his deportment under 
 personal afflictions ; which I am able to do, both from my own 
 papers, and from documents furnished by other friends, and 
 by his o^\''n family. 
 
 Though Mr. Fuller appeared to be of a remarkably strong 
 and athletic make, yet he had been, from his youth, liable to 
 severe bilious attacks, and his lungs vi^ere, at different times, se- 
 verely affected by colds. It was, therefore, a more remarkable 
 favour, that he was spared to us so long. 
 
 It was not till some time after his removal to Kettering, that 
 he had the small pox, for which he was, at last, inoculated. 
 
 thereby, annihilate all sin and guilt ; and tliose who deny tlie justice of 
 the sinner's condemnation, must, consequently, annihilate all grace in his 
 pavdon : thus they uttcrl} dishonour the Saviour, and turn the grace of 
 liod into wantonness. ••'While they itromise men liberty, they themselves 
 are the servants of corruption ; for of whom a man is overcome, of the 
 sarfle is he brought into bondage." 
 
MR. FULLER. 319 
 
 But, some time before he underwent that operation, he took 
 a journey to London, where he seemed to have been much 
 in danger of infection from that disorder ; on which occasion he 
 wrote me the following letter : — 
 
 «* London, Nov. 4, 1783. 
 « Very dear Brother, 
 
 " Amidst the confusions of the city, and my fatigues in trav- 
 elling about it, I cannot forget you. I have been much dis- 
 pirited, and have a mind to try and cheer myself, to-night, by 
 writing to my friend, the remembrance of whom gives me pleas- 
 ure. Perhaps, I may have nothing to say, that will be equal in 
 value to the postage of a letter ; but, however that may be, I 
 must write, to ease my mind. I have been, for this week past, 
 thinking of little else but dyiiig. On Wednesday, October 
 29, I accidentally went into a house, where had been the small 
 pox. A young man had just recovered, so as to get out into 
 the air. I smelt something disagreeable, which made me in- 
 quire, and then I received this information. I was not affright- 
 ed, though pretty much affected. I have not been distressed, 
 yet cannot put all such thoughts from my mind, as that I may 
 have the small pox, and perhaps, die in London, and so see my 
 friends no more. On the other hand, these may be all mere 
 thoughts. But I have, to-night, been reading Mr. Macgowan's 
 Death a Vision ; and, what with my own case and that together, 
 I am as if one half of me was in another world. I feel myself 
 reproved by what I have read, for my attention to my dear wife 
 and children, before the church of God. I must own, if it be 
 to my shame, that these have been, more than any thing, near 
 my heart, when I have thought of dying : though, on the other 
 hand, I feel loth to go out of the world, without having done 
 more than I have yet done for the cause of Christ. I have not 
 written any thing of this kind to Kettering, nor must you let it 
 be known to any one but yourselves." 
 
 Some references have already been made to what was sup- 
 posed to be a slight paralytic affection of his cheek, in 1793 j 
 concerning which, he wrote to roe thus ;— 
 
820 MEMOIRS OP 
 
 « Kettering;, Feb. 8, 1793. 
 
 " My face is much better. I ride out every day, 
 
 and find the use of my eye and lips return daily. God grant> 
 that my powers, if preserved, may be laid out for him. I bless 
 God, I never enjoyed more peace and communion with him in 
 my life, than within the last three quarters of a year. 1 find it 
 of great use to my own soul, to be engaged in some disinter- 
 ested undertaking, for promoting the kingdom of Christ ; and 
 to have a portion of affliction, to absorb those superfluous spir- 
 its, (as Mr. Thomas, in his letters to Mr. Booth, expresses it,) 
 which, otherwise, are too much for me." 
 
 Mr. Fuller's diaries, and his letters to me, as already seen, 
 contain several instances of his mental exercises in the near 
 prospect of eternity ; but I have purposely reserved the follow- 
 ing for this place. 
 
 In 1801, he had a veiy severe illness, to which he refers, in a 
 letter to me, dated August the 15th : — " I have had a very bad 
 cold, which has prevented my intended journey into Oxford- 
 shire. Last Lord's day, I could preach only once, and that for 
 about half an hour. It has almost taken away my hearing, and 
 is accompanied with some fever. I hoped to be able to go to 
 Leicester next Wednesday, where we had agreed to hold a day 
 of thanksgiving, for mercy to the Mission ; but, to-day, the 
 apothecary forbids my going. To-morrow I must preach, but 
 very little. Yet my strength is not much abated : I can sit and 
 write, in moderation. I have been taking medicines for more 
 than a week." 
 
 A friend of mine, at Kettering, wrote to me, on August the 
 19th, and mentioned the following particulars :-—*'' Mr. Fuller 
 had a slight cold, when he set off his journey to Derby, whence 
 he returned, on Friday, July 3 1 ; and, having rode some miles 
 in a heavy rain, his hoarseness was much increased, so that his 
 friends would not permit him to attempt preaching on the 
 Lord's day ; but, as we were destitute of a supply, one of our 
 members read the interesting accounts just received from India, 
 which were reviving to the hearts of many. The following 
 week, he had medical advice, and found himself rather better. 
 >We had a supply in the morning, and Mr. F. delivered a short 
 
MR. FULLER. 321 
 
 discourse in the afternoon. Last week, he went to Ampthill, 
 for a few days, with Mrs. F. her father being unwell. Last 
 Lord's day, one of tlie deacons engap;ed in prayer, and Mr. F, 
 delivered two short discourses. But his compiaint is not remov- 
 ed. He complains of great oppression on his chest, and has a 
 cough and hoarseness. His friends have persuaded him to 
 consult Dr. Kerr. He is very weak and debilitated, and has 
 much fever. The faculty do not pronounce his complaint 
 alarmingly dangerous ; but advise rest. Mr. Sutclift' was here 
 yesterday, on his way to a Missionary Meeting, at Leicester, 
 Avhere he will engage supplies for us, for a time. But Mr. F.'s 
 exertions are too much for his health. His fiiends wish a 
 proper assistant could be found for him, till his constitution is 
 more strengthened. Dear Sir, pray for us, that so valuable a 
 life may yet be continued, if consistent with the Lord's will. 
 He is very languid, to-day, owing to the drawing of a large 
 blister, v/hich Dr. K. ordered to be put on his stomach." 
 
 The same friend wrote again, August 26. — " Since I wrote 
 last, Mr. F. continued much the same, till Friday, when he was 
 ordered to take a gentle ride on horseback, if he could bear it, 
 for the benefit of the air. He rode but a little way, and came 
 back much exhausted, but had some refreshing rest at night* 
 On Saturday, he attempted another short and gentle ride, which 
 did not seem to have any good effect. In the evening, he felt 
 great chilliness. The fever came on rather violently, and he 
 had a bad, restless night. I saw him next morning : he was 
 up, in his chair, but very ill ; his spirits stemed much depress- 
 ed ; could scarcely speak, or look at any one, without tears. He 
 complained of violent pain and heaviness in his head, consider- 
 able fever, a constant nausea, violent cough and spitting, evidently 
 bilious. Dr. Kerr was expected to come within six miles, and 
 •wished Mr. F.to meet him ; but he found himself totally unable 
 to attempt riding in a chaise. We therefore, sent for the doc- 
 tor, who came by ten o'clock on Monday morning, and was 
 with him near three quarters of an hour, inquiring particularly 
 into his case. He desires he may be kept composed, and talk as 
 little as possible, and every thing done to exhilarate his spirits, 
 
 which seem much depressed. He says, it is the effect of vio- 
 41 
 
322 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 lent colds, taken one after another. He hopes the medicines 
 will take a right efTect : if they do not succeed, he advises asses* 
 milk, and a milk diet. He says, * I hope he will do well ; but 
 it will be a long time, and he must, as much as possible, avoid 
 thinkinc^, speaking, or writing.* Yesterday, he had not so much 
 fever, but his cough is much the same. He is very low, which 
 seems the effect of his complaint ; but he hopes to be engaged 
 in his beloved work, in a short time. I fear, we shall find he is 
 mistaken. When he was so ill, on Lord's day, he said, * I know 
 not what the Lord*s will is, concerning me ; but, sometimes, I 
 am apprehensive he is about to remove me.* That is the only 
 time he has uttered such an expression : it does not seem to be 
 a prevailing idea on his mind. We have prayer-meetings, on 
 his account, every night. O that the Lord may hear, and gra- 
 ciously answer, the prayers of his people ! Professor Bentley, 
 of Aberdeen, came here, on Monday evening, hoping to enjoy 
 an hour's conversation with Mr. F. He went, and sat awhile in 
 the room with him, and was gratified with having seen him.'* 
 
 Since Mr. Fuller's death, Mj". Daniel Sutcliff sent me the 
 following extract from a letter to his brother, at Olney, as a 
 sample of Mr. F.*s exercises of mind under affliction : — 
 
 t'Sept. 1, 1801. 
 *' I am brought very low. Dr. Kerr was here on Lord's day. 
 He goes on with blisters and medicine. My cough is very 
 trying. I get sleep chiefly by means of medicine. An almost 
 continual cough causes an almost continual fever ; and this de- 
 stroys appetite, strength, and spirits. My mind is calm, and 
 tolerably happy. I know whom I have believed. I have no 
 misgivings as to the ground on which I stand : all the misgiv- 
 ings I have, regard myself. I am a poor polluted creature, and 
 have been but an unprofitable servant. I could have no hope 
 but in a Saviour who came to save the chief of sinners. I per- 
 ceive, many are apprehensive that I am going after dear Pearce. 
 If it be so, I hope to go where he is gone, and to be where he 
 now is ! I remember, when riding from London, in June, 1799, 
 just after the sailing of the Criterio7i^ when that dear man was 
 wasting away at Plymouth, I was overcome, for mjles together, 
 with weeping, and this was the sum of my prayer — Let the 
 
MR. FULLER. 323 
 
 God of Samuel Pearce be my God. It is some pleasure to 
 follow sdch dear friends to glory ; but most of all, that Jesus 
 our forerunner is entered into the heavenly places. Whether I 
 follow him now, or afterwards, we shall each follow him soon. 
 Yes, my dear Brother, we shall be with him, unworthy as we 
 are I 
 
 " Yours, with undying affection, 
 
 ' " ANDREW FULLER." 
 
 On the 9th of September, I had a short letter from himself. 
 *' Within a week, (he says,) I feel sensibly better ; though the 
 cough is not much abated, and my hearing does not much re- 
 turn. I am still blistered about the stomach. I much wish I 
 had an assistant. I do not know that I have been low-spirited, 
 as Mrs. Timms seems to have thought. I have been very 
 weak, and unable to talk. I have generally been calm, and re- 
 signed to God ; and sometimes have been tenderly affected in 
 committing my spirit into his hands. I perceived, that many 
 people talked of my case resembling that of Pearce. I never 
 thought them similar ; but I felt desirous, that, if it w^ere so, I 
 might go whither he is gone. Some exercises of mind which 
 I had when that dear man was wasting away at Plymouth, re- 
 curred to me with much effect It was then my prayer, and so 
 it is now — Let the God of Samuel Pearce be my God ! 
 
 " Last Friday night, Dr. Stuart, of Edinburgh, came to see 
 me ! To be sure it was unexpected : he stayed over the Lord's 
 day." 
 
 On November 4, 1801, he wrote to me, from Oakham, thus : 
 « I ventured, yesterday, to ride with Brother SutclifP hither, to 
 the ordination of Brother Jarman. It was fine weather while 
 we were on the road ; but set in wet soon after we got here, 
 and still continues so. I did not mean to have preached ; and, 
 as it is, 1 dare not go to meeting, but employ myself in writing 
 to you. My health and strength are pretty well recovered ; but 
 my lungs are very susceptible of cold, which I expect they will 
 be all the winter. I have administered the Lord's supper once) 
 and spoken in small companies, which required no great exer- 
 tion, several times, without any sensible injury ; but have not 
 yet been in the pulpit." 
 
324 IWEiMOIRS OF 
 
 December 1, he wrote to me respecting a young man to as- 
 sist him for a time, and observed : — " I never needed an assist- 
 ant so much. I have preached once a day, for three weeks or 
 a month past Last night 1 had a return of fever, and feel its 
 effects to-day." 
 
 " — My correspondence is a heavy load. 1 have lately had 
 a return of bilious fever. I preached once on Lord's day, but 
 that was all. The fever is now nearly subsided." 
 
 March 31, 1802, he complained to me ; " My lungs are very 
 susceptible of cold, from east winds and damp air. I went to 
 an ordination at Luton, the 18th and 19th instant, and added to 
 my cold." f 
 
 May 4th, he says, — '< My health is pretty well restored." Yet 
 in two following letters, received that month, he mentions his 
 being affected with cold, and remarks, that he could not venture 
 to preach above twice a day. 
 
 In October, 1806, he had been considerably unwell, but found 
 benefit by riding on horseback, about iwenty miles a day; " I 
 am just arrived in London, (said he, October 6,) and find the 
 journey has been useful. But a little fever remains. I mean 
 to stop here a few days, perhaps about six, riding out into the 
 country every day, and then to return home. I do not preach 
 during this journey." 
 
 He wrote from Kettering, on the 23d. — " My health is some- 
 what restored. I hope to preach once, next Lord's day. My 
 greatest danger lies in losing my rest in the night, which is the 
 effect of application in the day ; and when this is the case, I 
 have a fever for a day or two. 1 have been pretty comfortable 
 for several days. I can arrange the journals and letters from 
 India, for No. XV^I. I hope, without hurting myself." 
 
 "Jan. 27, 1808. 
 " I last night returned from Leicester, with a strong fever 
 upon me, through excess of labour. 1 am a little better, to- 
 day. My Apology for the Mission would have been finished by 
 this time ; but there are new pieces come out, as full of wrath as 
 possible, which I am told I must notice. I am really distressed 
 with public and private labours." 
 
MR. FULLER. 325 
 
 "March 19,1808. 
 
 " I got a fall, yesterday, from a horse, which has much bruised 
 my side, through ir>y laiiing on a large stone ; but, having had 
 proper treatment, I hope that nothhig of danger will follow. The 
 horse took fright, and stopping suddenly, when on a full trot, 
 threw me over his head. The stone went just against my ribs, 
 near the heart, and for some time, I was unable to rise. It is 
 now very sore, but nothing is broken." 
 
 « May 4. 
 
 " I have been very ill, since my return from London. The jar 
 of the coach renewed the soreness occasioned by my fall from 
 the horse ; nor is it yet fully removed. I am obliged to keep 
 very still, and refrain from all violent motion." 
 
 «May31, 1811. 
 
 " I have been unwell, for the last two months. I have not 
 preached since April 21. A bad cold first affected my lungs, 
 A fever hangs on me, which frequently keeps me awake whole 
 nights. I hope to see brother Sutcliff to-morrow, with whom 
 I shall consult about the northern journey. I see no probability 
 of my being able to go, and to preach during the journey. I 
 much wish you and he could go together." 
 
 " Pisford, near Northampton, June 5. 
 
 « I came hither yesterday, instead of going to the Association. 
 I have agreed, as soon as I am well, to visit Yorkshire ; so 
 that you and brother Sutcliff have only Scotland. I am here 
 for three or four days. I have some fever in the night ; and, 
 were I to speak for ten minutes, should almost lose my voice." 
 
 " June 24. 
 
 "Frequent attacks of fever keep me awake nearly whole 
 nights, and render me incapable of preaching. Tiii this fever 
 is removed, I cannot recover." 
 
 By some mistake of a worthy friend, Mr. F. was led to 
 imagine the bills from India to be much larger than they were ; 
 and this so affected his mind, as to bring on a return of fever. 
 But, in a few weeks, it was found that the difficulties were not 
 insurmountable. 
 
326 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 ' '^ Oct. 5, istl. 
 
 " I returned on Sept. 26, I think, essentially better for my 
 journey. The first eight days the fever hung upon me. I 
 had four sleepless nights, and was meditating a return home ; 
 but, taking a pill every morning, for about a week, I got good 
 nights, the fever left me, and I went on with my work very 
 well. I preached uvcnty-two sermons in the month, travelled 
 upwards of 600 miles, and collected /;645. Going to the Min- 
 isters* Meeting, at Northampton, I got wet through, which has 
 left a Slight cold on my lungs ; else, I am much better than I 
 have been all the summer." 
 
 "Nov. 16. 
 
 « My lungs are very susceptible of cold. Though I was 
 not, during my journey to London last week, at all exposed to 
 the fain, yet 1 took such a cold, riding home withinside the 
 coach, (it rained all day,) that I have been obliged to shut my- 
 self up all this week. By the means I have used, I feel 
 somewhat better, and hope to be able to preach a little to- 
 morrow. 
 
 « I have preached twice to-day, getting our friends to read 
 the Scriptures, and pray, and though somewiiat hoarse to-night, 
 yet I am not seriously injured by it." 
 
 In May 1812, he took a journey into Wales. Though he was 
 very unwell when he set out, yet his health improved as he went 
 on. He wrote tims, from Abergavenny, in the former part of 
 the time to brother Sutciiff, of Olney : — 
 
 " My dear Brother, 
 " It was not because I forgot your kind request, that I did 
 not write before ; but, from being so unwell, that writing has 
 been a burden. I have had much fever, and five or six sleepless 
 nights; no sleep however, in several instances, till three 
 or four in the morning. I have preached only three ser- 
 mons, since I left home. One at Binningham, one at Worces- 
 ter, and one here. I do not find any ill effect from these, as I 
 speak low, and only stand about half an hour. [After men- 
 tioning some applauses, and some malignant censures of the 
 Baptists, and the work in which tliey were engaged, he adds,l 
 
MR. FULLER. 327 
 
 Our -wisdom is to be still and quiet, and to mind our own busi- 
 ness. For my own part, my afflictions say to me, Sttidy to show 
 thyself afrliro-vcdunto God. Wliat empty things are the applauses 
 of creatures, and how idle the pursuit of them! I seem near 
 the end of my course, and hope through grace, and grace only, 
 to finish it with joy. I have no transports, but a steady hope of 
 eternal life, on the ground of my Saviour's death. I feel some 
 freedom in my applications to God in his name. If I should 
 die, I shall be able to say to the rising generation, God will 
 surely visit you. A work is begun, that will not end till the 
 world be subdued to the Saviour. We have done a little for him, 
 accompanied with much evil; the Lord grant that that may 
 not be laid to our charge in that day. Love, as due. 
 "Affectionately yours, 
 
 « A. FULLER.'* 
 
 Feb. 5, 1813, he observed to me, — « My health is better, this 
 winter, than heretofore. I am requested to go to London, for a 
 fortnight, about the business of the; new charter." 
 
 "Sept. 7, 1813. 
 
 « T should have written to you, ere now ; but seven days ago, 
 I was seized with a strong bilious attack, which has nearly con- 
 fined me in bed ever since, and from which, though now much 
 better, I am not yet recovered." 
 
 " Dec. 27, 
 
 " Since my return from Bristol, [from Mr. Rowe's ordination, 
 as a Missionary to Jamaica,] 1 have been under strong appre- 
 hensions, lest the cold which I took in going down should lay 
 me by for the winter. But I had medical advice immediately, 
 and feel now much better.'* 
 
 "June 11, 1814. 
 " The repeated attacks I have lately had of the bilious 
 colic, have induced me for the present to decline my journey 
 into Essex. Perhaps I may go, if well enough, in September. 
 I have been to Olney, but was afraid to undertake so much 
 preaching as the Essex journey would have required. Brother 
 Sutcliff gets no better. I fear there is Utile or no hope of him." 
 
328 - ftlEMOIRS OP 
 
 « Sept. !8. 
 « For the last fortnight, I have been laid by, and nearly con- 
 fined to my bed. I know not when I have had so violent an 
 attack of the bile. I had an inflammation about the liver, the 
 effects of which are still upon me, so that 1 can scarcely walk. 
 I hope to get out to meeting once to-day. I know not what to 
 do about the Missionary Students, [who had been under the care 
 of brother Sutcliff,] being utterly unfit to entertain care of any 
 kind. I thought it best to let them come to you. Here 1 must 
 leave it. The M'riiing of this letter has overcome me." 
 
 I have by me one and twenty letters, written this year, and 
 nine written in 1815 : but in one of them, dated T.Iarch 20th, 
 he says, — " I am now so ill, that I can hardly write a letter." 
 
 April, 2, 1815, he says, — " I have been very unwell of late : I 
 have preached but little for some time, and cannot tO'day. I 
 have been taking antimonial medicines for my liver complaint, 
 and am brought extremely low." 
 
 "April 13, 1815. 
 " I have had a very strong attack of the fever ; nor is it yet 
 removed, though somewhat abated. For some days, I had 
 several dangerous symptoms. Last night I had the best night 
 I have had for a fortnight. At present, I am not able to travel 
 to Cheltenham ; but my apothecary has determined on my going 
 thither, as soon as I am able to bear the journey, which he hopes 
 I may do in about a week. This depends however, on the sub- 
 siding of the fever. I do not know any person at Chelten- 
 ham. I should be glad to be in a Christian family, and to 
 make them satisfaction. Perhaps you would drop a line thither, 
 to prepare my way I must take short stages, though I should 
 be four or five days in going. I can only add, 
 "I am, 
 
 * "Affectionately yours, 
 
 « ANDREW FULLER." 
 
 This was the last letter which I ever received from my 
 faithful and invaluable friend, written wholly by himself. I 
 prepared his way at Cheltenham ; but he never was able to 
 avail himself of the offer of an excellent aged Christian, (Mrs. 
 
MR. Ft7LL51ll. 329 
 
 Dunscombe,) to accommodate him at her house. One more 
 letter met me at Bhiiiingham, dictated by himself, and signed 
 at length., by his own dying hand. Though it has already ap- 
 peared in his funeral sermon, and great part of it in other pub- 
 lications, yet I shall insert it in this Memoir, after transcribing 
 a few particulars, communicated by his family, respecting his 
 last illness. 
 
 The commencement of his disorder, they observe, may prop- 
 erly be dated back to September, 1814. After preaching, on 
 Lord's day morning, the 4th of that month, he was seized with 
 the usual symptoms attendant upon a bilious complaint ; but 
 l)aving- been accustomed to such attacks, danger was not, at first 
 apprehended. In a day or two, however, the disorder instead of 
 subsiding, assumed a more serious aspect. The progress of 
 this affliction, and his partial recovery from it, are described by 
 himself, in a letter to a friend, dated Sept. 30. 
 
 " Since I saw you, I have been brought very low. About a 
 month ago, I had a bilious attack, from which, having often had 
 it before, I expected no serious consequences; but, after two 
 or three days, I was seized with a violent inflammation, I sup- 
 pose, in the liver. I had a high fever, was bled, blistered, and 
 confined to my bed for a week. I took calomel medicines. 
 After this, the fever abated, and my medical attendant consid- 
 ered the danger as over. My appetite has returned, and I have 
 been out in the air pretty much ; but the soreness in my right 
 side is still such, that I know not how to sleep upon it, and my 
 strength recruits very slowly." 
 
 Alter this, his health gradually increased, so as to enable him, 
 m some degree, to renew his pulpit labours ; and he even at- 
 tempted a journey into some parts of the north of England, 
 which he had not been able to visit on a Missionary tour in the 
 preceding summer. He set out on the 10th of October, ac- 
 companied by two young ministers, Messrs. Blundel and Mack, 
 from Northampton and Clipstone ; but by the time he had 
 reached Newark, he had a return of feverish symptoms, on ac- 
 count of which, he was obliged to leave them to proceed without 
 him, and to go back to Kettering. 
 42 
 
330 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 Soon after this^ in a letter to another friend, he says, — " I 
 have preached only twice for the last five or six weeks ; but 
 am gradually, thoui2;h slowly recovering. Death has swept away 
 almost all my old friends ; and I seem to stand expecting to be 
 called away soon. It matters not when, so that we be found 
 in Christ." 
 
 In another letter, written about the same time, he says, 
 " Brother Sutcliff's last end was enviable : let mine be like his ! 
 Death has been making havoc of late, among us. Yesterday I 
 preached a funeral sermon, if so it might be called, for three of 
 the members of our church lately deceased. I feel as one who 
 has the sentence of death in himself, and whose great concerH 
 it is, whether his religion will stand the test. Almost all my old 
 friends are either dead or dying. Well ; I have a hope that 
 bears me up ; and it is through grace. In reviewing my life, I 
 see much evil. God be merciful to me a sinner 1'* 
 
 On Nov. 5th, he said : ' I mend a little, keeping free from 
 all fatigue and wet weather. But I can preach only once a day : 
 twice leaves a soreness in the place where the inflammation was. 
 I feel the force of Eccl. xii. 1. last clause ; and have lately 
 preached with much feeling on Psa. Ixxi. 9. ' Cast me not 
 off in the time of old age ; forsake me not when my strength 
 faileth.' " 
 
 In the month of December, though far from well, he took a 
 journey to London, and was advised to go to Cheltenham ; with 
 which advice he was inclined to comply, but wished to defer it to 
 a milder season. In the mean time, he made use of a saline 
 medicine, as a substitute for the waters, and thought he derived 
 benefit from it. 
 
 Feb. 1, 1815, he wrote to his brother Robert Fuller, of Isle- 
 ham, as follows : — " .... Well ; the Lord Hveth, and blessed 
 be my Rock ! I am conscious of no wicked way in me ; but I feel 
 myself to be an unprofitable servant. We shall soon finish our 
 course; may it be with joy 1 If I am able next summer, it is 
 in my mind to take a tour eastward, to Wisbeach, Lynn, 
 Fakenham, Norwich, Yarmouth, and some other places in 
 Norfolk and Suffolk, and to return by Isleham and Soham ; 
 but perhaps, I may prove like Sampson, who went out to do as 
 
MR. FULLER. 831 
 
 at other times, and wist not that his strength was departed 
 from him." 
 
 Maich 19, he.wrote a long letter to Mr. Hinton, of Oxford, 
 chiefly on Missionary concerns. It breathes, throughout, an 
 ardent concern for the prosperity of our own Mission ; while it 
 expresses his joy at the success of the I^ondon Mission in the 
 southern hemisphere ; and then, alluding to recent political 
 events, he adds : — *' The direction which things have taken for 
 the last two years, may appear favourable to popery ; but it iP) 
 only that it should be destroyed for ever. Ttiese tides in 
 human affairs, like the flux and reflux of the ocean, will wash 
 away those things which it is in the purpose of Heaven to de- 
 stroy. The antichristian power may rise and fall repeatedly, 
 before it falls to rise no more." In this letter he makes no 
 mention of his illness. 
 
 But, though his complaint was checked for a little time, yet 
 it returned upon him in this month, (March,) with aggravated 
 symptoms. Having engaged to attend the ordination of Mr. 
 Mack, at Clipstone, on the 29th, he previously put himself 
 mider medical advice, for eight or ten days, that he might be 
 able to fulfil his engagement. He preached to the church 
 from 3 John 8. — " We therefore ought to receive such, that we 
 might be fellow-helpers to the truth." Although he travelled 
 in the easiest manner possible, there is reason to believe, that 
 the fatigue of the journey, and the exertion of preaching to a 
 crowded audience, tended greatly to increase his disorder. Not- 
 withstanding this, he preached at home, the next Lord's day af- 
 ternoon, April 2d, from Isa. Ixvi. 1. 2. — " Thus saith tbe Lord, 
 The heaven is my throne, and the earth is my footstool," he. 
 This was his last public exercise, ai^d will long be remembered, 
 for the earnestness and solemnity with which it was delivered. 
 
 His thoughts were now directed to Cheltenham, and arrange- 
 ments were accordingly made for the journey. His friends 
 anxiously wished him to go, and kindly united in a present, 
 to make the journey easy to him. But the disorder now made 
 such rapid progress, that it was obliged to be relinquished, as 
 impracticable. 
 
532 MEMOIHS OF 
 
 Dr. Kerr, an eminent pliysician, at Northampton, who wziS 
 sent for, told my sister on his return, that he was satisfied his 
 liver was as black as his hat, and as hard as the table. 
 
 In a note to a friend at Kettering, who was prevented by 
 illness, from visiting liim, he thus writes, April I9th; — " I am 
 ordered to go next Monday for Cheltenham. 1 should be 
 happy to come and see you before I go ; but, whether the 
 weather and my affliction will permit, I know not. When I 
 shall return is uncertain. The Lord's supper must be sus- 
 pended. My times are in the Lord's hands : but to me all is 
 uncertain." 
 
 On April 28, he dictated the following letter to me, written by 
 Mr. John Fuller, and subscribed by himself: — 
 " My dearest Friend, 
 
 " We have enjoyed much together, which I hope will prove 
 an earnest of greater enjoyment in another world. We have 
 also wrought together in the Lord's vineyard, and he has given 
 us to reap together in his vintage. I expect this is nearly 
 over ; but I trust we shall meet and part no more. I have very 
 little hope of recovery; but I am satisfied to drink of the cup 
 which my Heavenly Father giveth me to drink. Without ex- 
 perience, no one can conceive of the depression of my spirits ; 
 yet 1 have no despondency. I know whom I have believed, 
 and that he is able to keep th.at which I have committed to 
 him against that day. I am a poor guilty creature ; but Christ 
 is an almighty Saviour. I have preached and written much 
 against the abuse of the doctrine of grace ; but that doctrine 
 is all my salvation and all my desire. I have no other hope, 
 than from salvation by mere sovereign, efficacious grace, through 
 the atonement of my Lord and Saviour. With this hope, I 
 can go into eternity with composure. Come. Lord .Tesus ! come 
 when tiiou wilt I Here 1 am ; let him do with nis as scemcth 
 liim good 1 
 
 *' We have some, who have been giving out, of late, that 
 * if Sutcliff, and some others, had preached more of Christ, and 
 less of Jonathan Edwards, they would have been more useful.' 
 If those who talk thus, preached Christ half as much as Jona- 
 than Edwards did, and v/ere jialf as useful as he was, their use* 
 
MR. FULLEK. 
 
 i'ulness would be double \vhat it is. It is very singuleir, that 
 the Mission to the East should have originated with men of these 
 principles ; and without pretending to be a prophet, I may say, 
 if ever it falls into the Iwmds of men who talk in this strain, it 
 will soon come to nothing. 
 
 " If I should never see your face in the flesh, I could wish 
 one last testimony of brotherly love, and of the truth of the 
 gospel, to be expressed by your coming over, and preaching my 
 funeral sermon, if it can be, from Rom. viii. 10. I can dictate 
 no more, but am 
 
 " Ever yours, 
 
 « ANDREW FULLER.'' 
 
 This letter I received at Birmingham, where I preached 
 April 30th ; and gladly would I have gone on to see him once 
 more, had it not been at a time that I could scarcely be spared 
 three or four days longer, with any propriety ; especially as I 
 might have to take a second journey to Kettering, immediately 
 after the first, or be detained there by his death. Besides, I 
 found his weakness was so great, that I had no expectation of 
 hearing above a sentence or two from his dying lips ; and I felt 
 that the interview in such circumstances, would be more than I 
 could well sustain. I met a friend from Northampton, who had 
 seen him a few days before. He had asked him, if he wished 
 to see me ; but the reply was, " He can do me no good." I 
 gave up therefore, ail hope of seeing his body till the resurrec- 
 tion of the just. May my spirit be with his spirit, now made 
 perfect, as soon as whatever God has allotted me to do for him 
 on earth is finished ! 
 
 On the afternoon of the same day on which he dictated my 
 letter, he told one of the deacons of his church, that his bodily 
 depression was so great, that it appeared to himself as if he 
 could not live. His friend replied, " I do not know any person 
 Sir, who is in a more enviable situation than yourself; a uood 
 man on the verge of a blessed immortality." He modestly ac- 
 quiesced. He then lifted up his hands, and exclaimed, " UI 
 am saved, it will be by great and soverxiign grace ;" which last 
 words he repeated very emphatically, — " by great and sovereign 
 ^racc" 
 
334 MEMOIRS OP 
 
 His dear friend, Mr. Burls, of London, saw him the day be- 
 fore his death ; but, on account of his ahnost unintermitted 
 bilious vomitings, with which he had been afflicted for some 
 days, he could scarcely speak to him. 
 
 Witii regard to the state of his mind under his affliction, he 
 "Was favoured with a good degree of calmness and resignation ; 
 but, during the last month, he became unable to converse, 
 unless in detached sentences. He seemed, as it were, to have 
 done allf and said all^ and to have nothing to do but to die. 
 On the night of the 9th of April, he sat up in his bed, and 
 spoke, in a most affecting manner, about some domestic con- 
 cerns. When his mind was set at rest upon that subject, he 
 did not discover any farther anxiety about it, but expressed 
 himself, as follows : — 
 
 " I feel satisfaction in the thought, that my times are in the 
 Lord's hands. I have been importuning the Lord, that, whether 
 I live, it may be to him, or whether I die, it may be to him. 
 Flesh and heart fail ; but ' God is the strength of my heart, 
 and my portion for ever. ' '* 
 
 April the 1 1th, he said, " Into thy hands I commit my spirit, 
 my family, and my charge : I have done a little for God ; but 
 all that I have done needs forgiveness. I trust alone in sove- 
 reign grace and mercy. I could be glad to be favoured with 
 some lively hopes, before I depart hence. God, my supporter 
 and my hope, 1 would say, * Not my will, but thine be done I' 
 
 • God is my soul's eternal rock, 
 The strength of every saint' 
 
 I am a poor sinner ; but my hope is in the Saviour of sinners." 
 At another time, when speaking of the probable issue of his 
 disease, he said, '* But I am not dismayed ; God is my soul's 
 eternal rock." And again, " I know in whom 1 have believed : 
 he is able to keep that which I have committed to him against 
 that day. I am a poor sinner ; but he is a great Saviour." 
 
 May 2. — "My God, my Saviour, my Refuge, to thee I com- 
 mit my spirit — take me to thyself—bless those I leave behind." 
 He said, more than once, " My breath is corrupt, my days 
 are extinct." He would frequently say, during his affliction; 
 « My mind is calm — no raptures — no despondency." 
 
MR. FULLER. 336 
 
 About nine days before his death, while attempting to get 
 up, as he sat on the bedside, he said, " All my feeling^are 
 sinking, dying feelings !'* Seeing his wife affected, he said, 
 « We shall meet again 1" and added, " It will be well I'* He 
 was then going into the warm bath, and, while in it, was a little 
 refreshed. He observed, to his medical attendant who had just 
 called in, « I never before recollect to have had such depres- 
 sion of animal spirits, accompanied with such calmness of 
 mind." He observed, in reply, " It was a glorious thing ;" 
 and spoke of it, then and afterwards, as a remarkable instance 
 of the power of religion, in supporting the mind under such 
 circumstances ; as he had known persons, of the best regulated 
 minds, sink almost into despair, under such disorders. 
 
 At another time, when something was said to him about 
 resting, he answered, " There is no rest for me." It was re- 
 plied, " There is a rest remahis :" to which he assented. 
 
 When under great anguish, he, one day, said to one of his 
 sons, « All misery is concentrated in me 1" — " Bodily misery 
 only, I suppose, father ?" — " Yes : nothing else." 
 
 But the expression which he used to Mr. Blundel of North- 
 ampton, was the most characteristic of any of which I have been 
 informed : — " My hope is such, that I am not afraid to plunge 
 into eternity 1" 
 
 On the Lord's day morning on which he died, May 7, 1815, 
 he said to his daughter Sarah, " I wish I had strength enough" 
 
 She asked, " To do what ?" He replied, ^« To wor- 
 ship, child." 
 
 Soon after, his daughter Mary entering the room, as soon as 
 he understood who it was, he said, " Come, Mary, come and 
 help me " He was then raised up in bed, and for the last hal^ 
 hour, appeared to be engaged in prayer. His children sur- 
 rounded his bed, listening attentively, to catch, if possible, the 
 last words of their dying parent; but nothing could be distinctly 
 heard, but " Help me 1" which words were repeated several 
 times. Then, with his hands clasped, and his eyes fixed up- 
 wards, as in the attitude of prayer, he sunk back, sighed three 
 times, and expireil. 
 
ti36 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 I add an extract of a letter, from the Rev. J. K. Hall, his as- 
 sistant and siiccessovj to Mr. Isaac James, of Bristol, dated 
 May 9, 1815. 
 
 " I intend to fill this letter with news ; though, as it will 
 chiefly relate to Mr. Fuller's death, it will be news of a doleful 
 kind. You have heard, I suppose, that this great and good 
 man, departed this life about half past eleven, last Lord's day 
 morning. I was, at the time, preaching from Psa. x>dii. 4 — 
 ^' Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, 
 I will fear no evil,' &c. He experienced what, at that moment, 
 I was attempting to describe. Mr. Toller, the Independent 
 minister, was, at the same time, preaching from Psa. Ixxiii. 26 — 
 ' My flesh and my heart faileth ; but God is the strength of my 
 heart, and my portion for ever.' As soon as we left our places 
 of worship, every individual in the town probably heard the 
 afflictive words, * He is gone ! He is gonel' and the melancholy 
 news was soon despatched to different parts of the kingdom. 
 As I had to preach in the afternoon, you may easily suppose, 
 that this circumstance would increase those feelings which I 
 could not prevent on so solemn an occasion ; I preached from 
 Isa. ix. 6 — ' And the government shall be upon his shoulder.* 
 This was the text from which Mr. Fuller preached, when he 
 returned from my grandfather's funeral. 
 
 " Mr. Fuller's illness has been severe. His death was oc- 
 casioned by a liver complaint: and that disease, you know, 
 usually causes a great depression of spirits. It did so in the 
 present case ; so that Mr. Fuller felt a great disinclination to 
 seeing his friends. His mind was not unhappy ; nor had he any 
 distress in the prospect of eternity ; but his animal spirits were 
 very low, and his pain and restlessness were extreme. He de- 
 rived all his support from the hope of divine mercy, through 
 Jesus Christ. On a review of his life, he appeared to feel him- 
 self to be a great sinner, and had such a jealousy of his hav- 
 ing been influenced by a mixture of motives, that he could not 
 derive much consolation from what he had done. At the same 
 lime, he had such a reliance upon Christ, and so good a hope, 
 that he knew whom he had believed, and was persuaded that he 
 was able to keep what he had committed to him against thai 
 
MR. FULLER. 337 
 
 day. He was sensible to the last. The day on which he ex- 
 pired, he said, < I wish 1 could worship.' A little before death, 
 he seemed to have less pain, and, for some time, appeared, by 
 the motion of his lips, to be engaged in prayer. Towards the 
 last, he sat up in his bed, groaned, sunk back, and after three 
 sighs, calmly expired. The funeral is to be next Monday. I 
 shall not send this off, till it is over. You know that Dr. Ryland, 
 by Mr, Fuller's request, is to preach ; and my uncle is to de- 
 liver the funeral oration." 
 
 Tuesday Afternoon, [May 16.J 
 " Mr. Hall has resigned to me (says Mrs. Hall,) the task of 
 finishing this letter ; but, as the mail will leave Kettering very 
 soon, I can do httle more than just mention, that the last sad 
 tribute of respect was, yesterday evening, paid to the remains 
 of the great and good Mr. Fuller. The crowd which attended 
 was immense. All the ministers in the to\yn were invited, both 
 Churchmen and Dissenters — Mr. Toller, Mr. Hogg, Mr. 13ugg, 
 with Mr. Brovv'n and Mr. Towers, the Methodist preachers. 
 1^0 formal invitation was sent to any minister in the country ; 
 it being difficult to know where to draw the line : but numbers 
 were attracted to the spot, by motives of respect and affection. 
 Mr. Grimshaw, a clergyman of the Establishment, came, on 
 purpose, from Bedford. Mr. Hmton, of Oxford, and many 
 others, with whom I was not acquainted, were there. I went 
 to the meeting through Mr. Fuller's house (the doors not being 
 open quite so soon,) at three o'clock in the afternoon. About 
 a quarter of an hour afterwards, the crowds assembled at the 
 doors were admitted : the rush of people was astonishing ; but 
 no one, that I have heard of, received any injury. It was sup- 
 posed, there might be 2000 persons. The galleries were 
 propped in several places, to prevent any accident ; and I am 
 happy to say, there was not the slightest alarm. A quarter be- 
 fore five, the funeral procession entered. The coffin was placed 
 in the table-pew ; the mourners in the seats on the right hand 
 of the pulpit. Mr. J. H. first gave out a hymn. Mr. Toller 
 then engaged in prayer, with great fervour and devotion : 
 another hymn was sung. Dr. R, preached, from Rom. viii. 10. 
 
 and Mr. Robert Hall, preceded bv another hymn, delivered the 
 43 
 
338 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 funeral oration. The corpse was then carried out and interred. 
 A few words only were spoken, by Dr. Ryland, after the body 
 was put into the grave.*' 
 
 On the Sabbath after Mr. Fuller's death, the day before the 
 interment, his friend Mr. Toller delivered a discourse on the 
 occasion, to his own people, from 1 Kings xiii. 30. — "Alas, my 
 brother I" He afterwards, in compliance with the wishes of 
 the family and friends of the deceased, delivered it to Mr. Ful- 
 ler's congregation ; and the following extract from it is inserted 
 here, with his permission : — 
 
 " With regard to the much-respected friend and Christian 
 minister, lately removed, it might appear unbecoming and in- 
 delicate in me to enter far into his character and case ; particu- 
 larly as this will be done to so much greater advantage on the 
 approaching day : but thus much I could hardly satisfy myself 
 without advancing, on this occasion. 
 
 " I trust, I am sincerely disposed to join in the general and 
 just tribute which his friends and the public are disposed to pay 
 to his abilities, his sound sense, and solid understanding, and to 
 his unwearied diligence and unconquerable ardour in support- 
 ing and pursuing the interests of the best of causes ; and that, 
 not only in the common duties of his profession, but, more 
 particularly, in the propagation of Christianity in the foreign 
 climes of India. Perhaps, no individual, next to the unequalled 
 Carey, no individual, at least at home^ has done so much to 
 promote that cause ; and, considering the few advantages of 
 early education which he enjoyed, the eminence to which he 
 has risen, the influence he had acquired, and the means of use- 
 fulness which he has collected and secured, are so much the 
 more extraordinary, and reflect the greater credit on his mem- 
 ory. The variety and compass of his writings, though all bear- 
 ing on one grand point, yet serve to show what sheer abilities, 
 sound principle, ardent zeal, and persevering application can 
 do. I have read his works, (some of them more than once,) 
 with much satisfaction, and I trust, some improvement : that 
 that improvement has not amounted to more, ought to be at- 
 tributed to myself I have not a doubt, but that they have been 
 of real and extensive use in the Christian church, in support of 
 
MR. FULLER. 339 
 
 the radical principles of evangelical religion, and will continue 
 to be so after his dust shall mingle with the * clods of the val- 
 ley.* It is a satisfaction to me, to reflect, that, in the great lead- 
 ing views of vital Christianity, he expresses very nearly my own 
 sentiments ; though it is not to be expected, that persons who 
 think for themselves on sacred subjects, should, in every point, 
 ' see eye to eye.' You will not, therefore, expect, that I should 
 profess myself able to subscribe to every article in his theolog- 
 ical creed : still, however, it is a pleasure to me to reflect now, 
 that, diff'ering only on points of subordinate importance, where- 
 ever that was the case, we always agreed to diflfer. 
 
 " Though living in the same town, engaged in the same pro- 
 fession, and that under the banners of diff*erent denominations, 
 for about thirty years, I do not recollect, that ever an angry 
 word passed between us, or a single jar occurred, by our means, 
 among our respective connexions. At the same time, I would 
 not mention this in the spirit of a vain compliment, either to him 
 or to myself; but desire to be deeply sensible of a thousand de- 
 ficiencies and errors, in other respects ; nor would I be under- 
 stood, in a servile spirit of fulsome flattery, as representing him 
 as a faultless character, or holding him up, in all respects, as a 
 model of the Christian temper and disposition ; for, alas ! 
 of whom can you say, * Be ye followers of him,' unless you 
 insert the restrictive clause — so far as he was * a follower of 
 Christ.' 
 
 « While, then, I think him an eminent loss to his family, a 
 general loss to society and the church of Christ, and, perhaps, 
 an irreparable loss to his own denomination ; I trust I can, 
 with truly Christian cordiality, follow him up to the footstool of 
 his Master's throne, and congratulate him on that < Well done, 
 good and faithful servant,' which, I have no doubt, he has 
 received. 
 
 " I conclude, with remarking, that in no one point, either 
 from his writings which 1 have read, or the sermons I have 
 heard from him, or the interviews and conversations I have had 
 with him,— -in nothing can I so fully join issue with him, as in 
 the manner of his dying. Had he gone off* full of rapture 
 and transport, I might have said, * O let me die th» triumphant 
 
JJ40 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 death of the righteous 1* Bnt it would have been far more than 
 I could have realized, or expected in my own case : but the 
 state of his mind, towards the last, appears to have been, if I 
 may so express it, ' after my own heart.* He died as a peni- 
 tent sinner at the foot of the cross. At my last parting with 
 him, I shook hands v/ith him twice, and observed, with some 
 emotion, not expecting to see him more, * We have lived har- 
 moniously, many years, in the same place ; I trust we shall, one 
 dav, meet above.' I think the last religious sentence he drop- 
 ped to me, was, ' Looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus 
 Christ unto eternal life.* He said to a young minister, * I have 
 no religious joys ; but I have a hope, in the strength of which 
 I think I could plunge into eternity.' 
 
 " Being reminded of his Missionary labours, he replied, < Ah • 
 the object v/as unquestionably good ;' but adverted to the 
 mixture of motives, to the influence of which we are liable in 
 supporting the best of causes. To another friend, who was 
 congratulating him in a similar style, he replied, * I have been 
 a great sinner ; and, if I am saved at all, it must be by great 
 and sovereign grace.* Here, the dying minister — the dying 
 friend, speaks all my heart : here, I come nearer to him at his 
 death, than I have ever done through the whole course of his 
 life. The testimony of a Christian conscience is, at all times, 
 invaluable ; but, in the dying moments of a fallen creature, it 
 can afford no more than auxiliary support ; the grand promi- 
 nent hold of the trembling soul must be < the golden chain that 
 comes down from heaven.' It is the immediate, personal, real- 
 izing application ; it is the broad, palpable hope of salvation 
 for penitent sinners, through the riches of divine grace in Christ 
 Jesus our Lord, that throws every thing else into shades. It is 
 not the voice of congratulation on the best spent life, however 
 just, that is most acceptable, in those awful moments, to pious 
 minds : that is often heard with trembling diffidence, and con- 
 scious apprehension of contaminating motives and counteract- 
 ing defects. The sweetest music, in the ears of expiring piety? 
 must be struck, from another string : « This is the record, that 
 God hath given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son — The 
 \fages of sin is death ; but the gift of God is eternal life, through 
 Jesus Christ our Lord.' 
 
MR. FULLER. 341 
 
 " In all probability, my bones will be deposited not far from 
 his : God grant, that I may die in the same temper and the 
 same hope ; and that our spirits may be united in the day of the 
 Lord I Amen." 
 
 Thus I have endeavoured faithfully to exhibit the man, in 
 life and in death. He that sees not much to admire, and to 
 imitate ; he that does not exclaim, < What liath God wrought 1* 
 who made a poor sinful man so evidently an eminent saint ; 
 would not be convinced nor edified by any encomium I could 
 add. 
 
 Doubtless, he had his faults ; for " in many things we all 
 offend." I might be blind to some of them, although I thought 
 I watched him more carefully than I did any other friend ; as 
 being more anxious that he should be right in all points, and 
 more at liberty to speak my mind, if ever I thought him wrong : 
 but whatever they were, he has done with them ; and I have 
 done with them. I will deny none that I ever knew ; but, if 
 I had known more than I ever did, I would not needlessly ex- 
 pose them. I am fully satisfied, that he is now without fault 
 before the throne. His just spirit is made perfect. I long to 
 be as he is. I wish I now were as he was, in all things except 
 those bonds. O that I were well rid of all that he hath laid 
 aside, and were like him in all that is now perfect ! 
 
 If I knew of his making a golden calf, or in any degree coun- 
 tenancing idolatry, I would acknowledge and reprobate his 
 conduct ; or if I knew of his denying his Lord three times over, 
 or even once only, I would both own and lament it. But the 
 sacred writers, though they recorded every material fact im- 
 partially, yet did not needlessly repeat and exaggerate the im- 
 perfections of upright men,* nor aim to show their own acumen 
 in nicely criticising their characters: their impartiality was 
 real, but not ostentatious. Luke entered into no discussion of 
 the controversy between Paul and Barnabas, though he had 
 full opportunity of knowing one side of the story, and that from 
 far the greatest man of the two : and, as I am not divinely 
 inspired to distinguish accurately who was right and who wa!» 
 
 • S«e I Kings xt. 5- 
 
342 3IEMOIRS OF, &C. 
 
 wrong, wherein Mr. Fuller was separated from some who once 
 iiad a share in his friendship, and from whom he thought it his 
 duty to withdraw it ; I shall leave them to write of his faults, 
 who refused to acknowledge any of their own. Though I may 
 have strong grounds for an opinion on that subject, yet I am 
 not eager to show them. I leave such things to an infallible 
 Judge. 
 
 All who have read my funeral sermon for Mr. Fuller, can 
 judge for themselves, whether I have represented him there as 
 " more exempt from the infirmities of our corrupted nature 
 than was the father of the faithful." From such critics as have 
 already insinuated this, and who despise all disinterested lovcy 
 even of Him who is altogether lovely, it were folly for any one, 
 who has neither the means nor inclination to purchase their 
 favour, to look for " candour and fairness." But charges which 
 are not confirmed by my own conscience, I entirely disregard. 
 
 Some of my friends may think it was needless to have in- 
 serted these remarks, as the whole of this volume will suffi- 
 ciently show that I wished to write the actual life of my dearly 
 beloved friend, and not his panegyric. By the grace of God 
 he was what he was ; and now the work of grace is perfected. 
 
 Let grace be admired and magnified for ever, Amen I 
 
APPENDIX. 
 
 CONTAINING, AMONG OTHER ARTICLES, CONVERSATIONS 
 WITH EVANGELICAL CLERGYMEN, ON ESTABLISH- 
 MENTS, DOCTRINE, &C. AN INSTANCE OF MR. FUL- 
 
 LEr's sound JUDGMENT, AND INFLEXIBLE INTEGRI- 
 TY ANECDOTES — HIS ORIGINALITY HIS APPRECIA- 
 TION OF THE WORKS OF ART BRIEF HISTORY OF THE 
 
 BAPTIST CHURCH AT KETTERING— HINTS AS TO MR» 
 fuller's DIfc>CHARGE OF HIS PASTORAL DUTIES; IN 
 WHICH IS CONTAINED A LETTER TO ONE OF HIS MEM- 
 BERS AGAINST ANTINOMIAN DELUSIONS INSCRIPTION 
 
 ON A TABLET ERECTED TO HIS MEMORY. 
 
 I RESERVE for this place, some things, the connexion of 
 which I wish to conceal, that the place where they occurred, 
 and the persons to whom they refer, may not be known ; with 
 some other particulars that I could not so easily introduce in 
 the preceding Chapters. 
 
 Of the former kind, is the following. — He was once con- 
 versing freely with an Evangelical Clergyman, soon after the 
 publication of Mr, Overton's True Churchman^ when that work 
 happened to be mentioned. The Clergyman observed, That 
 he understood many Dissenters considered some things in it, as 
 severe against them. Mr. Fuller said, " I suppose you mean, 
 in calling them schismatics." *^ Yes; in part," said the other. 
 Mr. Fuller replied, " I never felt it ; for it did not appear to 
 me to be aimed to hurt us, but merely to screen himself, in the 
 eyes of his superiors, from the suspicion of favouring us." He 
 added also, " It did not hurt me, because I perceived no justice 
 
344 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 in it. The term schism is relative^ and lias reference to the 
 society from which the separation is made. Now before you 
 can fix the guilt of schism* upon us, you must prove, (1.) That 
 the Church of England is a true church ; yea more, (2.) That 
 it is the only true church in the kingdom." 
 
 At another time he had a free conversation with certain very 
 respectable Clergymen, which I purposely have reserved to be 
 thus separately introduced, without reference to place or names ; 
 choosing rather to disappoint curiosity, than to betray Christian 
 confidence. 
 
 'Jih^Jirst Clergyman^ after saying many friendly and respectful 
 things, said in a tone of familiarity, " I had almost thrown your 
 Gosfiel its oivn Wiiness, aside, owing to what you said against 
 Establishments in the Preface." F. " Why Sir, could you not 
 have construed it as the British Critic has ?" 1 C *' How is 
 that ?" F. " I think they say to this efTect : ' The Author 
 protests against Establishments of Christianity, for political 
 purposes : but, as ours assuredly is not for such ends, he cannot 
 mean that ; and therefore, we recommend it to our readers.' 
 £oth replied, " We apprehend they construed you more fa- 
 vourably than you deserved " F. " Well ; it seems then, I 
 should have put it at the end, instead of the beginning of the 
 book." 1 C. " I see you do not approve of Establishments." 
 F. « I do not Sir." 1 C " Well ; I am persuaded we are 
 greatly indebted to ours.'* F. "The friends of Christ would 
 be such, without it." 1 C. " True ; but the enemies would 
 not be kept in such decency.'' F. " I was riding, last night, 
 
 from to , with a drunken sea-officer ; passing 
 
 through , he pointed to the cathedral, and said, " That 
 
 is our r elision ... we are all for rclision /" 2 C. " Ah ! that was 
 honey to you." F. ** I felt for the poor man." 2 C. " You 
 
 * Some, who are often exclaiming against the evil of rending Christ's 
 seamless garment, take it for granted, that the crime must lie exclusively 
 on those who take hold of the skirt, and not attach to those who pull ever 
 so violently at. the upper end of the robe. But, surely the fault of the 
 rent may be as much on their side who impose terms of union not author- 
 ized by the Head of the Church, as on those who scruple conforming to 
 them. R, 
 
rviR. FULLER. 345 
 
 Uiink hard of Bishop Horsley ?" F. « I do." 2 C. " I think his 
 remarks about Sunday schools have been made too much of ; 
 he does not condemn the institution, but the abuse of it." F. 
 *' He represents village preaching as a political measure, and 
 as pursued by the same men as formerly cried up rationality ; 
 /which is absolutely false." 1 C. *' He had heard some things 
 of Dissenters." F. " Yes ; and I have heard some things of 
 Yorkshiremen." 2 C. " What, that they are bites ?" F. " Well ; 
 and would it be fair to condemn all the natives of that county 
 upon hearsay ?" I C. " He is a man of a bad temper." F. " I 
 have heard that he is after all, an infidel : I do not know how 
 true that may be ; but he is a violent man, and full of misrep- 
 resentation." 1 C. « What he has said of the body of the Dis- 
 senters being turned from Calvinism, is true of the old Dissen- 
 ters : those that you now call the body of your people, have 
 come from the Church.'* F. « That may be true, in part, es- 
 pecially respecting the Presbyterians, but not of the Independ- 
 ents or Baptists ; and we can account for the decline of Pres- 
 byterianism in England, on the ground of their Psedobaptism.'* 
 [All laughed, as though they should say, ' Bravo ! How is 
 that?'] F. *' The old orthodox English Presbyterians made so 
 much of their aeed^ and the dedication of them to God, as they 
 called it, by baptism, that presuming on their conversion, they 
 sent them to seminaries of learning, to be ministers before 
 they were Christians ; and as they grew up being destitute of any 
 principle of religion, they turned aside to any thing rather 
 than the gospel. The effect of this was, some of the people, 
 especially the young and graceless, followed them ; the rest 
 have become Independents or BajDtists." 1 C. " All your old 
 places that were opened at the Revolution, are now Socin- 
 ianized.'* F. " The Presbyterian places are mostly so ; but 
 we do not mind the places being Socinian, as long as \.hQ people 
 have left them. As to the body of our people coming from the 
 Church, it is little more than fifty years since the Church was 
 almost destitute of serious ministers and people ; yet there were 
 at that time, perhaps, nearly as many serious Dissenters as 
 
 now.'' 
 
 44 
 
346 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 CONVERSATION ON DOCTRINE. 
 
 First C. « There are different shades of Calvinism, I sup- 
 pose, amongst U)u ?" F. "Yes; there are three by which we 
 commonly describe ; namely, the high, the moderate^ and the 
 strict Caivinists. The first are, if I may so speak, more Cal- 
 vinistic than Calvin himself; in other words, bordering on An- 
 tinomianism" 1 C. " Have you many of these ?'* F. " Too 
 many." 1 C. " Do they not reckon you a legal preacher ?»» F, 
 *' Yes ; at this very time, I am represented throughout the re- 
 ligious circles of London, as an Arminian." 1 C. " On what 
 ground r" F. ^' What I have written in a note in the Gosfiel its 
 own Witness^ 1 C. " I remember that note. I and my friends 
 approve of it, and think it agrees with the doctrine held by our 
 Church. But what do you call a moderate Calvinist ?" F. 
 *' One that is half Arminian, or as they are called with us, Bax- 
 terians." 1 C. " And what a strict Calvinist ?" F. " One that 
 really holds the system of Calvin. I do not believe every thing 
 that Calvin taught, nor any thing, because he taught it ; but I 
 reckon strict Calvinism to be my own system." 
 
 I think the following instance of his sound judgment and in- 
 flexible integrity well worth recording. 
 
 A preacher, (I shall not say at what place or time,) had fallen 
 into temptation. Brother Fuller, Sutcliff, and another worthy 
 minister,) whom I shall not name, lest it should prove a clew to 
 the whole story,") were consulted by some of the principal peo- 
 ple ; on which Mr. F. wrote thus: — 
 
 " He is, 1 find, very open, and has not been guilty of com- 
 pleting the crime ; but what he has done, he allows was 
 * foolish and wicked ' It is so much divulged, that there is no 
 hope of its being concealed. He professes to have repented, 
 and to have received dixnne forgiveness-. Some seemed inclined 
 to restore him to his work, on that ground. At present he is 
 only silenced by desire of some of the chief friends to the cause, 
 
 witliout any church act. Mr seemed to lean to his 
 
 restoration. He alleged, that the minister was a man of spirit; 
 :^A\Ci considering himself as a penitent, and as called to the work 
 
MB. FULLER. 34? 
 
 •f the ministry, he would preach somewhere ; if not in the old 
 place of worship, yet probably in the neighbourhood, and thus 
 M'ould divide the church. He himself has said, he could divide 
 the church, &c. I replied, Suppose he has rt pente^-d, yet there 
 is a sort of atojiemeiit necessary in cases of puln'.c scandal. I 
 endeavoured to argue from Numb. xii. 14. — ' If her fatluT had 
 but spit in her face,' &c. and from the case of the Corintliian 
 fornicator, concerning whom Paul determined ivhat should be 
 done ^ 'Without any proviso concerning his penitence ; also from 
 the case of David, that seeing he had sinned publicly, and 
 dishonoured God's name, God would bear testimony against 
 him, before the sun. In short, the same arguments that would 
 prove the insufficiency of repentance without an atonement to 
 God, would prove the point in hand. But. in the second place, 
 it seemed to me doubtful whether he did repent. I did not like 
 his talking of his repentance; nor yet of his having received 
 divine forgiveness ; and still less his saying, that he could di- 
 vide the church. My advice was, therefore, * Try the sincerity 
 «f his repentance, at the same time that you bear open testi- 
 mony against what cannot be kept secret. If he repent, he mil 
 not divide the church : if he attempt it, infamy will cover him, 
 and you will be justified. If he be of a proper spirit he may be 
 restored ; and, if you should be provided with a minister, he 
 may go elsewhere. If you cover it over now, it will be another 
 such affair as 's and 's. Who each professed re- 
 pentance, and to have received forgiveness ; whereas, if after 
 bearing open testimony against it, you restore him, though it be 
 in twelve months, there would be but few churches in the 
 kingdom that would then object to his character.' It was asked, 
 What in the mean time could be done for his family ? The an- 
 swer was, ' That is a question that may be considered sepa- 
 rately, but ought to have no weight in determining this.' Brother 
 
 Sutcliff concurred in these sentiments, and Mr. came 
 
 into them: we were, therefore, of one mind in advising the 
 church to exclude him." 
 
 I have transcribed this, as an instance of his decision and 
 fidelity, and could adduce many others, if it wt re possible to con- 
 ceal the parties, and avoid giving pain to their survivmg friends, 
 
348 3IEMOIHS or 
 
 1 will add here a few anecdotes of my dear friend, which 1 
 had not an opportunity of introducing before. 
 
 Several years ago, a friend had taken him to the Bank, where 
 one of the clerks, to whom he had occasion to speak, showed 
 him some ingots of gold. Mr. Fuller seemed to tarry as he 
 balanced one of them in his hand, while his companion was in 
 haste to he gone. Thoughtfully eyeing the gold, he said, as he 
 laid it down, *' how much better is it to have this in the hand, 
 than in the heart !" 
 
 Originality was certainly one of his distinguishing character- 
 istics. The following anecdote will illustrate, and partly ac- 
 count for, this feature m his character, which his friends had so 
 often occasion to remark and admire. While travelling in the 
 North, on one of his Missionary tours, in the course of conver- 
 sation, the name of Dr. Benjamin Franklin having been intro- 
 duced, Mr. Fuller's friend remarked that he had a philosophical 
 mind, or, that he was a philosopher from liis youth. — " Well ; 
 (said Mr. F.) what do you call a philosopher, or in what respect 
 was he one ?" " O ! (said his friend,) he seems to have made 
 rules for himself in childhood, which regulated him even in old 
 age." On this Mr. F. replied, " If this be any mark of a phi- 
 losopher, you will make me one. My father (he continued,) 
 was a farmer, and, in my younger days, it was one great boast 
 among the ploughmen, that they could plough a straight line 
 across the furrows or ridges of a field. I thought I could do 
 this, as well as any of them. One day I saw such a line, which 
 had just been drawn, and I thought, * Now I have it.* Ac- 
 cordingly, I laid hold of the plough, and, putting one of the 
 horses into the furrov/ which had been made, I resolved to keep 
 him walking in it, and thus secure a parallel line. By and by, 
 however, I observed, that there were what might be called 
 wriggles in this furrow ; and when I came to them^ they turned 
 out to be larger in mine than in the original. On perceiving this, 
 I threw the plough aside, and determined never to be an imitator'* 
 
 Mr. Fuller perhaps, might have possessed a greater taste 
 for the works of art, without injuring his spirituality of mind 5 
 
MR. FULLER. 349 
 
 but he seemed in this respect, to differ from one of our Lord's 
 disciples, mentioned Mark xiii 1. as the following anecdote will 
 show : — The first time he passed through Oxford, he was con- 
 ducted by a friend, to see the principal buildings of the Uni- 
 versity. He viewed them with little emotion ; and, on being 
 requested to notice one object of peculiar interest, he said, 
 " Brother, I think there is one question, which, after all that 
 has been written on it, has not yet been well answered.'* His 
 friend desiring he would name the subject, he said, " The 
 question is. What is justification ?" It was immediately pro- 
 posed to return to the fireside, and discuss the subject ; to which 
 Mr. F. gladly acceded, saying, " That inquiry is far more to 
 me than all these fine buildings.'* Decision of character was as 
 eminent in him as in the illustrious Howard, of whom a living 
 author has so justly said, that " as invisible spirits who fulfil 
 their commission of philanthropby among mortals, do not care 
 about pictures, statues, and sumptuous buildings ; no more did 
 he, when the time in which he must have inspected and admired 
 them, would have been taken from the work to which he had 
 consecrated his life.'* 
 
 A BRIEF HISTORY OF THE BAPTIST CHURCH AT KETTERING- 
 
 Mr. John Maidwell, A.M. born at Geddington, and educated 
 at Cambridge, preached in the Church at Kettering, from 1650, 
 till he was ejected, in 1662. After his ejectment, he often 
 preached in his own house, and other houses in Kettering, for 
 thirty years ; in the latter part of which time, he opened a 
 meeting-house, became pastor of an Independent church, and 
 had a considerable congregation. He died January 9, 1692. 
 aged 83. He was succeeded by Mr. Thomas Milway, October 
 29, 1696. Mr. William Wallis, one of the elders, and some 
 other members of the churth, withdrew, and formed themselves 
 into a Baptist church, of which Mr. Wallis was chosen pasto: 
 We are told in the life of Dr. Gill, that a sermon of this 
 Mr. Wallis, from Gen. iii. 9. ' Adam, where art thou ?' proved 
 the means of his conversion, when John Gill was but twelve 
 years of age; and, as he was born in 1697, this proves that 
 
350 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 Mr. William Wallis was living in 1709. Dr. Gill used to speak 
 of him as his spiritual father. After the decease of Mr. Wil- 
 liam Wallis, he was succeeded by his son, Mr. Thomas Wallis, 
 perhaps about 1715 or 1716. Mr. Thomas Wallis was father 
 to Mr. W^illiam Wallis, who died October 12, '757, and whose 
 funeral sermon, preached by Mr. Brown, from Rom. viii. 39, 
 was printed ; at the end of which some account is given of him. 
 He was an eminently wise and godly man, and a great encour- 
 ager of the cause of Christ. He was father of Mr. Beeby Wal- 
 lis. It was in the time of Mr Thomas Wallis, and probably 
 near the beginning of it, that Mr. (afterwards Dr.) Gill, became 
 a member of the church, and was called to the ministry. The 
 writer of the Doctor's life says, that he was baptized November 
 1, 1716, by Mr. Thomas Wallis. On the Lora's day after his 
 baptism, he expounded the fifty-third of Isaiah, at a private 
 house, (where some of the members of the church met for 
 prayer,) and was soon called to the ministry. Mr. John Brine > 
 who was one of the first fruits of his ministry, joined the church 
 at Kettering, in 1718 ; and both of them were settled as pastors 
 of churches in London, for many years. Dr. Gill, at Carter 
 Lane, Southwark ; and Mr. Brine, at Cripplegate. 
 
 Mr. Milway, pastor of the Independent church at Kettering, 
 appears to have died in 1696, and to have been succeeded by 
 Mr. William Terry. Mr. Terry was succeeded by Mr. John 
 Wills, May 5, 1709. Mr. Wills, and a part of the church, 
 withdrew, about 1715, and formed another church. The ma- 
 jority elected Mr. Milway, jun. for their pastor, who was suc- 
 ceeded by Mr. Saunders, in 1721; Mr. Benjamin Boyce, in 
 1736; Mr. John Fuller, in 1772; and by their present worthy 
 pastor, Mr. Toller, in 1778. 
 
 Mr. Wills does not appear to have continued long with the 
 secession. After his departure, they appear to have been with- 
 out a pastor till January 23, 1724 ; when Mr. John Wilson, a 
 member of a church at London, was chosen to that office. The 
 majority of this church were now become Baptists ; and Mr. 
 Wilson himself appears to have been of that denomination. 
 Mr. Wilson died in 1729. 
 
MR. FULLER. 351 
 
 Mr. Thomas Wallis died in December, 1726. His church 
 continued witliout a pastor till March 10, 1730 ; when Mr. 
 Wallis's and Mr. Wilson's congregations having agreed to as- 
 semble in one place, (which was exchanged, in 1769, for the 
 place where the Baptist congregation now meet,) the united 
 church chose for their pastor Mr. Robert Hennell, a member 
 of Mr. Noble's church in London, who died in September, 
 1749. 
 
 The following is the succeeding line of pastors. July 9, 
 1752, Mr. John Brown, who died at Lymington, April 14, 
 1800. Mr. Brown had resigned, January 24, 1771, and was 
 succeeded November 20, 1771, by Mr. George Moreton, a 
 member of the church at Arnsby ; he was obliged, by ill health, 
 to resign in August, 1779, and was succeeded by Mr. Andrew 
 Fuller, October 7, 1783 ; who was succeeded, a few months 
 after his decease, by Mr. John Hall, the present pastor. 
 
 A building on the present site, was converted into a place of 
 worship in 1769, it was enlarged in 1786, and re-enlarged in 
 1805. 
 
 HINTS AS TO MR. FULLER's DISCHARGE OF PASTORAL 
 
 DUTIES. 
 
 When Mr. F. came to Kettering, in 1782, the church had 
 been destitute of a pastor for three years. NeverthelesSj 
 through the Christian zeal and activity of the deacons, (who, as 
 much as in them lay, endeavoured to supply the want of a 
 pastor, by visiting the people, and inviting them to their own 
 houses, for prayer and religious conference,) the members of 
 the church not only kept together, but lived in love and harmony. 
 The work of God, also, in conversion, was not altogether at a 
 stand in the congregation. 
 
 Mr. Fuller proved a most diligent and faithful pastor, and 
 considerable success attended his ministrations, which appeared 
 by the additions made, from time to time, to the church. At 
 Mr. Fuller's first coming among them, the church consisted of 
 only eighty-eight members ; but, by the divine blessing upon 
 his- labours, notwithstanding the removals by death, See. the 
 
'^'-S iMEAiOIRS OF 
 
 number of members increased, in the space of about thirty-two 
 years, to one hundred and seventy-four. 
 
 The following letter to one of the members, will serve as a 
 specimen of his attention to the feelings of his people ; — 
 
 "Jan. 1792- 
 " My dear Friend, 
 " In many of the workings of your mind, there is some simi- 
 larity with those of my own, about twenty years ago. You 
 seem to be fluctuating upon the surges of doubt and suspense. 
 I did the same, for some time. I think, that one cause of this, 
 in me, was, my hopes and fears rose or fell, according as texts 
 of Scripture occurred to my mind. For example : If such a 
 passage as Isa. xli. 10, (' Fear not, for I am with thee, Ue not 
 dismayed, for I am thy God,' Sec.) was impressed on my mind, 
 I was all joy and transport ; but if such a passage as Psa. 1. 16, 
 (< What hast thou to do, to declare my statutes, or that thou 
 shouldest take my covenant into thy mouth ?') was suggested, 
 I was all dejection, and, perhaps, durst not go upon my knees 
 to pray. I used to think, that when any passage of Scripture 
 was impressed with weight upon my mind, it was no other than 
 the voice of God, speaking to me by those words ; so that, 
 though the passage, as it stood in the Bible, might be addressed 
 to some other person or case, yet when it was impressed on my 
 heart, I was led to consider it as an address from God to me. 
 Yea, in this manner I used to imagine that God revealed future 
 events to me. If 1 were praying for the conversion of any 
 person in particular, and such a passage as this were impressed 
 on my mind at the time — ' In her month they shall find her,' — 
 (Jer. ii. 24.) I concluded, that God would, sometime, convert 
 that person : or, if such a passage as this—* Pray not thou for 
 this people,* Sec. (Jer. vii. 16.) I should have concluded that 
 they would not have been converted, and so have left off" pray- 
 ing for them. 
 
 " After a while, I began to suspect whether this way of tak- 
 ing comfort, or of casting it away, or of judging of future events, 
 and regulating my conduct accordingly, were either of them 
 just or solid. And, in a little time, I perceived, that I had no 
 reason given me in Scripture, to expect the knowledge of my 
 
MR. FULLER. 353 
 
 own state, or of the state of others, or of any future events, by 
 such means. I knew that the prophets and apostles had extra- 
 ordinary revelations made to them, being divinely inspired to 
 write the Holy Scriptures ; but, vision and prophecy being now 
 sealed up, (Dan. ix. 24.) and a wo being denounced upon the 
 man that should add or diminish, (Rev. xxii. 18.) I concluded 
 that we ought not to look for any neiu revelatio?i of the mind of 
 God, but to rest satisfied with what has been revealed already, 
 in his word. 
 
 " I do not, ho'vever, reject all impressions of Scripture 
 passages ; provided it be nothing but Scripture truth that is 
 thereby opened to the mind, and impressed on the heart. Some 
 of the best times of my life have been through the means of a 
 passage of Scripture- I remember, about twenty-two years 
 ago, walking alone, in an agony of despair, my guilt appeared 
 too great to be forgiven, and my propensities too strong to be 
 overcome. I felt as if there were no hope for me, and that I 
 
 must even go on and perish for ever I Here I paused 
 
 * What 1 (thought I,) give up all hope, and plunge myself into 
 the gulf of destruction ! — How can I bear the thought ?* My 
 heart was ready to burst with anguish. I then thought of Job's 
 resolution — ' Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him.' *And 
 why (thought I,) may I not venture on Christ as a lost sinner, 
 
 as well as Job did upon his God ?* I wept I prayed 
 
 I rolled my guilty and lost soul upon the Lord Jesus. 
 
 Hope kindled in my breast. The tears of repentance flowed 
 plenteously. My soul cleaved to Christ, as the helper of the 
 helpless, and seemed united to him as by an indissoluble bond. 
 My load of guilt was removed, and my evil propensiiies seemed 
 to be slain. From this time I reckon 1 first began to be a 
 Christian. 
 
 « Indeed, I did not formerly suspect that I had been carried 
 away by a supposed new revelation ; but, seeing my impressions 
 came in the words of Scripture, thought it was only the old 
 revelation applied afresh, by the Spirit of God. But, upon ex- 
 amination, I found myself mistaken ; for, though the words of 
 Scripture were the means of the impression, yet the meaning 
 of those words, as they stood in the Bible, was lost in the ap- 
 45 
 
354 MEMOIRS OF 
 
 plication. For instance : The meaning of Isa. xli. 10. as it 
 stands in the Bible, compared with ver. 9. is, that tfie true ser* 
 vants of God have no reason to be dismayed, for that God will 
 strengthen, help, and uphold them in all their afflictions : but, 
 when that passage occurred to my mind, I concluded that God, 
 had thereby revealed to vie^ that he was my God, and would 
 uphold nie^ Sec. But this was making it a new revelation, as 
 much as if the impression had not been in the words of Scrip- 
 ture ; because the meaning which it had before, and that which 
 I put upon it, were totally distinct. It is a very different thing 
 for God to promise to be the God oi his servants-^ and his prom- 
 ising to be my God, or your God. It is very true, if I can 
 prove myself to be a servant of God, borne down with fear 
 and dismay, on account of the enemies of my soul, which I have 
 to encounter, (as was the case with the children of Jacob there 
 addressed,) then I should have just cause to conclude the 
 promise to be mine ; but if not, it is not the impression of such 
 a promise that will prove my interest in it. 
 
 "Again: The meaning of Psa. 1. 16. is, that wicked men 
 (such as are described from ver. \7 — 22.) have no right to en- 
 gage in teaching God's word ; but it does not follow, from 
 thence, that, because that passage was impressed upon my mind 
 in going to prayer, I was a wicked man, and had no right to 
 draw near to God, and take his name into my mouth. To sup- 
 pose that God then revealed to me that I ought not to take his 
 name into my lips, was making it a new revelation, and so add- 
 ing to Scripture ; for, except I bore the character there de- 
 scribed, the passage speaks no such thing. 
 
 " Agaih : The meaning of Jer. ii. 24, is, that, let sinners be 
 ever so set upon their lusts, there will come a time when they 
 will be tamed and taken, either by the grace or the judgments 
 of God. Now such a passage as this being impressed on my 
 mind, while I was praying for the conversion of one that was 
 unconverted, could afford me no just ground to conclude that 
 God would ever convert such a person rather than another ; for, 
 supposing the passage to contain a promise that the persons 
 !]icre spoken of should sometime be stopped by the power of 
 
MR. FULLER. 353 
 
 4ivine grace, it would not follow that this should be the case 
 ivith the person for whose conversion I nvaa concerned. 
 
 " Once more : Such a passage as Jer. vii. 16, being impressed 
 upon my mind, afforded me no just ground to conclude, that 
 they on whose behalf I was engaged in /irayer would never 
 be converted ; much less could it justify me in ceasing to pray 
 for them ; because, though there might be a particular reason 
 why Jeremiah should not pray for those people, yet it did not 
 follow, that the people for whom / prayed were in a similar 
 situation, or that the same reason existed in the one case as in 
 the other. 
 
 ** I could record many more such examples. AH I say, is, 
 when the truth contained in any passage of Scripture is opened 
 to the mind, and impressed upon the heart, this is Christian 
 experience — this is the work of the Spirit ; but it is not his 
 work to make any new revelation to the soul, of things not 
 proveable from Scripture, which is the case when he is supposed 
 to reveal to us that we are the children of God, by suggesting 
 some passage of Scripture to our minds, which expresses so 
 much of some other person or persons, there spoken of. 
 
 " I have known many ill consequences arise from a depend- 
 ence on such kind of impressions. Christians have been thereby 
 led into error and misconduct. When they have been at a loss 
 about the path of duty in any particular case, they have had such 
 a passage as this suggested to them — * This is the way, walk ye 
 in it/ — and have concluded that that way which they were 
 thinking of at the time such a passage occurred to their minds, 
 must be the way of duty, and so have followed it, but which has 
 often proved to be the wrong way. From the same cause, I 
 have known Christians thrown into the utmost confusion about 
 their state. A young person was under a heavy affliction. She 
 had this passage, ^if I remember right,) at that time impressed 
 upon her mind—' Set thine house in order, for thou shalt surely 
 die* — from whence she concluded she should not recover. A 
 few days after, these words occurred to her — ' This sickness is 
 not unto death, but for the gloiy of God.' From hence, she 
 must naturally conclude that they could not both be true, nor 
 both come from God i consequently, she must be thrown into 
 
356 MEMOIUS OF 
 
 confusion about the other parts of her experience, and ques- 
 tion whether all was not deception. 
 
 " But this is not the worst. I have known great numbers of 
 persons, whose conduct gave full proof that they w^ere uncon- 
 verted men, who nevertheless, lived in hope of being saved at 
 last, merely because some text of Scripture had been, at some 
 part of their lives, impressed upon their minds. Indeed, I 
 question if you could find one person in twenty, among those 
 who have been accustomed to hear the gospel, but who could 
 tell you that some passage of Scripture had been impressed 
 upon their minds, and had given them comfort, at some period 
 or otlier in their lives. It is thus that multitudes go down to 
 hell with a lie in their right hand ! 
 
 " Do not be alarmed my friend, as if all your experience 
 would thus be undermined. Though you may have rested 
 pretty much on such evidence, I trust you have much better 
 to rest upon. For my own part, I have not been much in 
 doubt, as to my soul's state, for these sixteen or eighteen years. 
 The evidence on which I draw the favourable conclusion, is, a 
 consciousness that I am on the Lord's side ; that I love his 
 character, his government, his gospel, his laws, his people ; 
 that, the more I know of them, the more I love them : and 
 these are things to which God has promised salvation, all through 
 the Bible. 
 
 " There have been many Scripture promises, as I said before, 
 that have been sweet to my soul ; but I am not used to make 
 those promises mine any more than others. If I love Christ in 
 sincerity, all the promises in the Bible, which relate to spiritual 
 and eternal blessings, are mine ; and it is upon the ground of 
 what is promised in those which have never been particularly 
 impressed upon the mind, that I build my hopes, as much as 
 upon those that have : for I do not reckon a promise ever the 
 more true, or ever the more made to me, because I have felt 
 it. To make this plain : — A child is heir to an extensive or- 
 chard ; when the fruit is ripe, he walks into it ; he tastes of one 
 tree, and another ; some of the trees he likes better than others, 
 because the fruit tastes sweeter ; he calls that his tree, whereas 
 they are all his, only all do not taste equally sweet, at the 
 
MR. FULLER. 357 
 
 same time, to his palate ; perhaps, as he grows up, his taste 
 may change a little, and then some which he thought light of 
 will be preferred. 
 
 " I acknowledge, that to rest our hopes upon such evidence 
 as I propose ; that is, upon a consciousness of our being the 
 subjects of those dispositions to which the Scriptures promise 
 salvation, is not the way to be always happy. If we indulge in 
 secret sin, or live in the neglect of known duty, or sink into 
 a spirit of conformity to the world, or a spirit of Laodicean 
 lukewarmness, or be careless as to a close walk with God, 
 or attend on ordinances without desire after communion with 
 him ; — in either of these cases, we shall, in a great, degree, lose 
 our consciousness of love to God, and consequently live in fear 
 and bondage. Indeed, it is better that we should live so, than 
 to go about to persuade ourselves that all is well, and so settle 
 upon our lees, in ungrounded security.* Though after all, it 
 is not desirable to live in such bondage, and the way to be de- 
 livered from it, is, to abound in those means which tend to cher- 
 ish our love to God; iov perfect love ivill cast 02it fear. 
 
 *** Peace, in a spiritually decaying condition, is a soul-ruining secunty : 
 better be under terror, on the account of surprisal into some sin, than be 
 in peace under evident decays of spiritual life." 
 
 OxoerCs Me(UtationSi p. 21 G. 
 
 **Look not that the Lord should so far countenance your declinings to 
 a moie fleshly careless state, as to smile upon you in such a state : God will 
 not be an abettor to sin. Count upon it, that your grace and peace, your 
 duty and comfort, will rise and fall together. Suspect those comforts that 
 accompany you into the tents of wickedness, and forsake you not when 
 you forsake your God " 
 
 Rev. liichard Alleine's Vindicice PictatiSy Part III. p. 299. 
 
 ** It is aa impossible, in the nature of things, that a holy and Christ- 
 ian hope should be kept alive, in its clearness and strength, in such circum- 
 stances, as it is to keep the light in the room, when the candle is put out ; 
 or to maintain the bright sunshine in the air, when the sun is gone down. 
 Distant experiences, when darkened by present prevailing lust and cor- 
 ruption, will never keep alive a grvicious confidence and assurance ; but 
 that sickens and decays upon it, as necessarily as a little child by repeated 
 blows on the head with a hammer. Nor is it at all to be lamented, that 
 persons doubt of their state in such circumstances ; but, on the contrary, 
 it is desirable} and every way best, that they should" 
 
 Bdtpard^ 9n the JJ^'ections, Part II. p. 82. 
 
3j8 memoirs of 
 
 " 1 think the above remarks may be of use to you, and con- 
 tain an answer to your request, respecting my sermon on Mark 
 ix. 2. — < Son, be of good cheer,' 8cc. 
 " I am, 
 
 " Your affectionate pastor, 
 
 « A. FULLER." 
 
 Mr. Fuller's attention to his pastoral duties is manifested 
 also, among other things, by the contents of a little book, found 
 since his death, entitled. Families who attend at the meetings 
 August^ 1788. It is added, " A review of these may assist me 
 in praying and preaching." The members are specified by 
 name, with a short account of each ; their particular cases are 
 recorded, and their families mentioned. A list is added, of 
 those in the congregation whom he thought to be serious 
 persons, or under concern about their souls. On viewing this 
 book, we were forcibly reminded of the exhortation of the Wise 
 Man, Pro v. xxvii. 23. — " Be thou diligent to know the state of 
 thy flocks" — (if such an application may be allowed,) as strik- 
 ingly exemplified, in a spiritual sense, in Mr. F.'s conduct as 
 a pastor, while he had leisure to attend to those duties without 
 interruption. But, after he became engaged in the Mission, 
 its concerns gradually grew to such a magnitude, as, in a great 
 measure, to incapacitate him for the due discharge of his 
 other duties ; which was frequently matter of great concern to 
 him. But what could he do ? The demands of the Mission 
 were imperious ; the powers of man, both mental and corpo- 
 real, are limited; and though it may be truly said of him, that 
 he " rejoiced in all his labours," yet his exertions proved greater 
 than nature was able to sustain, and he sunk under them into a 
 premature grave. 
 
 In short, it may be truly said, that his whole conduct 
 was regulated by his favourite maxims — " Work while it is 
 day." — " Whatsoever thy hand^ndeth to do, do it with all thy 
 might." 
 
 It is well known, that, for several years, Mr. Fuller was ac- 
 customed to expound a portion of Scripture every Lord's day 
 morning. He observed, that the Jews anciently used to reati 
 
MR. FCLLER. 359 
 
 Moses and the Prophets ; that our Lord took tlie book, and 
 read^. section of Scripture, (Luke iv. 17.) and ex/wunded it of 
 himself; and this is said to have been the method of the primi- 
 tive churches. He considered, that what came directlij from the 
 word of God, vv^as most safe, and came with greater authority. 
 He said, he found it advantageous to himself, and thought it 
 was so to the people of his charge. 
 
 His highly respected friend, Mr. Toller, pastor of the Inde- 
 pendent church at Kettering, began this practice about the same 
 time, though without any previous intimation from either of 
 them to the other ; but, on conversing upon the subject some 
 time afterwards, they discovered a striking coincidence of ideas 
 as to the importance of it. 
 
 Mr. Fuller began an exposition of the Book of Psalms, on 
 the 18th of April, 1790 ; and expounded in succession, Isaiah ; 
 Joel ; Amos ; Hosea ; Micah ; Nahum ; Habakkuk ; Zeph- 
 aniah ; Jeremiah ; Lamentations ; Daniel ; Haggai ; Zechari- 
 ah ; Malachi ; Job j Genesis ; Matthew ; Luke ; John ; the 
 Revelation ; the Acts of the Apostles ; the Epistle to the Ro- 
 mans ; and the first Epistle to the Corinthians, as far as Chap. 
 iv. 5. 
 
 Besides the above, he expounded the Proverbs of Solomon ; 
 but he did not commit to paper his ideas on this interesting 
 portion of Scripture. Of all the other Expositions, he has left 
 behind him copious notes ; though as they are written in short 
 hand, the advantage to be derived from them must be of very 
 limited extent ; as also from the outlines of upwards of 2000 
 Sermons, delivered to his own congregation, and repeated in 
 many instances, to congregations in different parts of the 
 country. 
 
 The general style and tenour of Mr. Fuller's preaching is 
 pretty well known. Let it suffice to say here, that, as it was 
 abroad, such it was at home. Its great and single object evi- 
 dently was the glory of God in the advancement of his kingdom 
 in the world, which included, and excited in him, the most ear- 
 nest desires and endeavours for the good of souls. 
 
 In his annual addresses to his young friends, delivered on the 
 tfirst Sabbath in the year, he poured forth all his heart ; or, as 
 
360 -AJliMOIRS OF 
 
 the Apostle expresses himself, behig affcctionalely desirous of 
 them, he spake as one who was willing to have imjiarted to 
 them^not the gosjiel of God only^ but also his ow?i soul, because 
 they lucre dear unto him ; exhorting and charging every one, 
 as a father doth his children. And it has been observed, that 
 though neither these exercises, nor his ordinary labours, v/erc 
 attended with all the good effects which his soul so ardently 
 desired, yet they appeared to be remarkably blessed to many 
 young people, who, when they came forward in a way of public 
 profession, dated their first serious impressions from these oc- 
 casions. 
 
 When the size of the town is considered, containing not more 
 than 3242 inhabitants,* in which was a large Independent con- 
 gregation, with a minister who is most deservedly popular, a 
 congregation of Methodists, and, of late years, evangelical 
 preaching in the church : I cannot consider it as an evidence 
 of any defect in Mr. Fuller's preaching, that his stated hearers 
 did not exceed a thousand ; and this, though many came from 
 adjacent villages. 
 
 In the exercise of church discipline he was remarkably 
 faithful, and yet tender ; and, though of a very decisive char- 
 acter, after having freely stated his own sentiments, he was 
 always ready to listen to those of others ; and even to yield 
 up his own private judgment, in cases where he did not con- 
 ceive the cause of righteousness and the honour of religion 
 would be affected. 
 
 In his administration of the ordinances of baptism and of the 
 Lord's supper, he was remarkably solemn and tender, and 
 especially at the admission of members. 
 
 The last time he administered the Lord's supper, March 22, 
 it will not soon be forgotten with what solemnity he spoke. 
 Though his words were few, (he being very ill,) many of his 
 friends were much affected, foreboding it would be the last 
 time he would appear among them on such an occasion ; as, 
 indeed it proved. He seemed swallowed up in the thoughts 
 
 * Monthly Magazine, Jan. 1, 1810, p. 4D8. 
 
MR. FC7LLER* 361 
 
 of a crucified, risen, and exalted Redeemer ; repealing thos^ 
 lines with peculiar emphasis, — 
 
 "Jesus is gone above the skies," &c. 
 
 He never seemed to be so much in his element, as when 
 dwelling on the doctrine of the atonement. Like the Apostle 
 Paul, he was determined to know nothing but Christ and him 
 crucified. This doctrine rejoiced his own soul ; and this he 
 used to exhibit to others, as of the greatest importance ; com- 
 prising all the salvation of a ne^dy sinner, and all the desire of 
 a new-born soul. 
 
 Justly and highly as the people prized his ministry, they 
 showed their love to Christ, in parting with him very frequently, 
 for the good of others, especially of the Heathen afar off; 
 while the same motive alone induced him so often to leave his 
 beloved family and friends, whose welfare he so tenderly re» 
 garded, and in whose society he was always happy. 
 
 Had Mr. Fuller's life been protracted to ever so great a 
 length, he could never have put in execution all the plans he 
 would have laid for attaining his ultimate end ; since, as fast as 
 some of his labours had been accomplished, his active mind 
 would have been devising fresh measures for advancing the 
 divine glory, and extending the kingdom of Christ. As it was, 
 he certainly did more for God than most good men could have 
 effected in a life longer by twenty years. And, while others 
 admired his zeal and activity, he kept a constant watch over 
 his own heart, and was perpetually applying lo himself the di- 
 vine interrogation — Did ye do it unto me ? None who knew 
 him could doubt the singleness and purity of his intention ; 
 but with him it was a very small thing to be judged of man's 
 judgment : he well knew, that he that judgeth is the Lord. 
 Though conscious of integrity, (of which I never saw a stronger 
 evidence in any man of my acquaintance,} yet, conscious also, 
 to himself, of unnumbered defects, he cast himself into the 
 arms of the omnipotent Saviour, and died, as he had long lived 
 — ^'^ Looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eter- 
 nal life." 
 
 Thus may I also live and die, O God my Saviour ! Amen ! 
 46 
 
S62 MEMOIRS OF MB. FULLER. 
 
 The following Inscription is copied from a Tablet erected byithe ,; 
 church and congregation : — 
 
 IN MEMORY OF THEIR REVERED AND BELOVED PASTOR, 
 
 THE REVKREND ANDREW FULLER, 
 
 THE CHURCH AND CONGREGATION HAVE ERECTED THIS 
 
 TABLET. 
 
 HIS ARDENT PIETY, 
 
 THE STRENGTH AND SOUNDNESS OF HIS JUDGMENT, 
 
 HIS INTIMATE KNOWLEDGE OF THE HUMAN HEART, 
 
 AND HIS PROPOUND ACQ^UAINTANCE WITH THE 
 SCRIPTURES, EMINENTLY qUALlFIED HIM TOR THE MIN- 
 ISTERIAL OFFICE, WHICH HE SUSTAINED AMONGST THEM 
 THIRTY-TWO YEARS. THE FORCE AND ORIGINALITY 
 OF HIS GENIUS, AIDED BY UNDAUNTED FIRMNESS, 
 
 RAISED HIM FROM OBSCURITY 
 
 TO HIGH DISTINCTION IN THE RELIGIOUS WORLD. 
 
 BY THE WISDOM OF HIS PLANS, 
 
 AND BY HIS UNWEARIED DILIGENCE IN EXECUTING THEM, 
 
 HE RENDEHID THE MOST IMPORTANT SERVICES 
 
 TO THE BAPTIST MISSIONARY SOCIETY; 
 
 OF WHICH HE WAS THE SECRETARY FROM ITS COM- 
 MENCEMENT, AND TO THE PROSPERITY OF WHICH 
 
 HE DEVOTED HIS LIFE. 
 
 •ft 
 
 IN ADDITION TO HIS OTHER LABOURS, 
 
 ills WRITINGS ARE NUMEROUS AND CELEBRATED. 
 
 HE DIED MAY 7, 1815, AGED 61. 
 
 N. B The papers ascribed to Mr. Fuller in the different Magazines 
 and Periodical Publications referred to in the catalogue of his works, is 
 thought not to be correct. 
 
 •/The printing having been coraraenced'in the middle of this volume, 
 in consequence of the first part of the copy not coming to hand in season, 
 the public may observe some waat of taste in the arrangement of the 
 ehapten, &e. &c. 
 
s 
 
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 DATE DUE 
 
 
 
 
 
 MA¥^^*^'iQ^ 
 
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 GAYLORD 
 
 
 
 PRINTEOlN U.S.A. 
 
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