Stl, M^ LIBR^KY OF THE Theologiea 1 Seminary, Case^ SheJf, PRINCE1 rON, N. J. ■ Divisi Section Book, No I r m I /> I THEOLOGICAL SEMINARY, | ^^> j^ Princeton, N. J. -^ ^^^ I -J To-sEPH Humphreys's kT " (c EXPERIENCE^ OF THE Work of Grace upon his Heart, Pfal. Ixvi. 16. Cotne and hear all ye thai fear GoD, and / Tv:'// declare ivhat he hath done f.r my foul, cxvi. 10. / believed, therefore hanje /fpoken. xxvi, 7. That I may publifli * •;• * -r -j An Account, ©r. Wa s born at Burford In Oxfordjhhe^ Oc- tober 28, 1720. Where my /^^y/z^ir was Minijier near thirty Years, to a Church which he himfelf had been chiefly inftru- mental of gathering and converting to the Lord. Being blefs'd with a reli- gious education^ I had fome very early impreflions upon my foul: particularly when 1 was about /"t,'^ or Jix Tears of age, reading in Janeivay^s 'Joken for Children, my heart was much affeded, and I cry'd exceedingly, at the ftory. of a certain young child's dying triumphantly in the Lord. Another time, I remember, I dream d that I was in the chambers of heaven, where I thought I faw a little brother of mine then dead, and Jesus Ch rist himfelf in the form of a grave, yet pleafant young man. This imprefs'd me very much : and in the morning when I came down. Mother, fays I, I Icve Jesus Christ. j4h ! fays flie, 1 ivijh you did. Indeed, reply 'd I, I d9 lonje Jesus Christ : and I remember I was very much grie-'v'd, becaufe {he feem'd to think otherwife of me. Between ten and ele'ven, I was fent to a Grammar -School at Fairford, where I fometimes lov'd Jin, and fometimes lov'd to be good. There was a certain Schoolfello-w who boarded at the fame houfe with me, with whom I was fometimes y^r/cz/^, and fometimes i;«//r. Ohen we fnn'd, and often we had con account. Looking upon Christ in this view, I was much pleas'd : and began to think that tho^ I wdiS guilty, and plainly condemn'd in my own confcience, yet poflibly there might be hopes for me. The thoughts of this cheer'd me, and took off much of that horror and diflrefs that I had before. But here I rejied, where it is to be fear'd many others do. l/aiv Christ's righte- oufnefs, but llop'd fhort of an interefl in it. It was dif- cover'd to my njieau, but I fat down contented without receiving it, or having it experimentally imputed to me. I thought now I had nothing elfe to do, but to mend my life, and leave off, and ftridly watch againft my former fins : and I had a confus*d notion that my paft guilt wou'd all be remov'd for Ch rist's fake, and that his obedience and merits would be imputed to me, if^QV the future I Ibould live a holy, flri6t and blamelefs life. Thus did i mix law and gofpel, and would be fav'd partly by the old and partly by the ne^-w co'venant. Accordingly I fet about a thorough reformation in every refpedl fo far as I knew : and 1 remember how much 1 pleasM myfelf to think, that when any of my country-men fhould come to tonxin, they • would by one quarter of an hour\ converfation with me, foon take notice o^ my firid piety, and apparent ad'vances in bolinefs and religion. I was now between tnvelnje and thirteen. And I had a more than ordinary defire to be a Minif.er. Yea, I diought, however men ftioald oppofe, ray heart was fully beat [7] bent and determln'd for that work : ( i .} that I might reforT^^ finners. And (2.) becaufe I lo'v d to read and Jiudy tW^ fcriptures. Whereupon I usM to write down fermons' of my Qivn compofing, thundering exceedingly againft all iinrepejitl^g fmners. About this time, I went to the School before-mention'd, to learn the ia>iguages and read the clajftcks. It was the cuftom of tViC pupils every even- ing to take their turns in prayer : and indeed fome of them pray'd fo well, that I look'd upon myfelf as highly blefs'd to have my lot call with fuch pious, ferious youno- men. One of them in particular pray'd lb clofe and fearch- ing, that I us'd to think he meant me : and I began to think that all of them had more in them than /had ; and that I was but a hypocrite when compar*^d with thcTn.. This made me fomething more thoughtful, and my rell- kffnefs of mind began to return afrefli upon me : till at length I perceiv'd that thcfe fame young men could allow themfelves in certain things, which 1 thought J myfelf could not : fuch as light and foolifi talking and jejlingy playing at draughts, Ji'ves^ hlindmatisbuff^ hunt thefooe^ and fuch like ludicrous games, quite unbecoming fuch as profefs\l godlinefs ; and therefore the more hurtful and" dangerous, as they were efteem'd only imiocent aud harm- lefs diverfions. However I was eaiily carried down the common ftream : and fuch ways as thefe were very agree- able to ray nature. So that by degrees, partly by this con- verfation, partly by the good opinion that others had of me, and partly by my own natural love to the ways of carnal fecurity, I was luU'd fi\ft afleep again : my con- vidlions went off: my njjound njjas heaVd flightly, crying peace, peace, where no true peace was ; and my tender confcience began gradually to be fear'd, by my yielding frjl to fmaller, and then to greater things ; firfi allowing of thofe things that were judg'd harmlefs, afterwards thofc things that were diredtly fmful : till at lall I fo far departed from God, that I had like to have been utterly dro-ivfPdin perdition-. The r^ that I^cw got, did not flow from faith in the merits and death of Christ, but from carnal means, and from a fenfekffnefs of my con- dition, which by degrees had got the upper hand of me. Happy is that perfon, ^.Ajho tvhen he is once aivaken\l, can ne-ucr mare be eafy or at peace, in any condition or by ar."^ means-, till he has eafe and peace from Christ Jesus himfelfl What [8 ] What pafsM in ray foul, all this while,- 1 kept to my- ^If. Others efteem'd me a hopeful youth. But God only knows what lengths of wickednefs 1 ran into, even after all my light and convictions . For ihcfirjl quarter, after I en t red the School, I was pretty //v^v'; Bbt after- wards grew very loofc. I began to query, whether religion was not all a cheats and it's pro/ej/hrs a company oi hypo- crites. I diflik'd precifenej}, and could not abide to be particular. I was determin'd to thifik freely fox myfelf, and to have my judgment /z.'j<«yV by none others. I lik'd the jJp9jI'e Paul, when he faid, Prcve all things: but I regarded not his advice to hold faft that ^uAnch is good. Thus I thought myfelf to be wife, but I became a fool. Whether there was any God or no, truly now I was dubious. As for Jesus Christ,. I thought he was but a common man, if not an impojior. I kept company with z young deifi, and lov'd to hear his 'u;/ A/ notions. I doubt- ed whether as much could net be faid for Mahomet, as for Christ. I verily believ'd in my heart that the O/^ Tejiament \\?A no more reference to Christ, than the writings of Homer or Xenophon : only as the JpofAes and other men were pleas'd to give it a turn in favour of their opinion. I hated to hear talk of experimental xt\\^\Q\\'. to me it was ?i jargon of nonfence. I could remember no fuch phrafe in the Ne^jj Tefiament, as experiencing ths grace of God : and vvhen I look'd into m.y Dictionary , neither there could I find out the meaning of it. I lik'd to hear the Minijiers well enough, except when they treat- ed on matters of experience. My heart had a particular rifing againft that. Thus ignorant was I, and like a heaji alfo before the Lord. For my ways at this time were abominable. I was full of wantonnefs, and all uncleannefs, beyond tnoji of my age. I incited others to fin. And it is even a fhame to fpeak of thofe things which I did in fecret. I could allov/ myfelf in gaming, card-play- ing, zx\^ filthy talking, with little or no remorfe. And how often have ]^ontri'v^d, and laid fchemes to commit the worll and mm! fcandalous of fms, but was prevented either by fome accident failing out, or elfe for lack of op- portunity, or bccaufe my courage fail'd when 1 ^^a' oppor- tunity. Thus was I almoft daily heaping up loads, of ^uih upon my poor foul. Neverthelefs the Lo r d left not himfelf C9 ] iumrelflong without witnefs, but follow'd me wkh /re/l. connjidions. One time in particular^ when I was alone in my clofet, I ivcpt bitterly before the Lord. My fins afiiided me, fo that I knew not what to do. I was con- vjnc'd that I was the worll in the whole School : and f thought what a dreadful thing it would be, \^ my friends were to km^iv of all my wickednefs. Thefe things were a weight and. burthen upon me almoft continually, more or lefs. About this time, I wrote down my mind in the following expreffions. For I then us'd to keep a little ^/^ry. " May <^. 1735. My fms have been i'£';jy ** great y and the burthen of them is too hea-vy for me to *■* bear. Were it not for the guilt and load of fm, I think ** I could go thro' this world chearfuily, and comfortably. " 'Tis that which is the greatefl trouble and grievance I '* meet with here on earth. The re-iterating of niy fins ** fo often is what caufes great horror of fpirit to fall upon, '* me." By thefe expreilions it appears that I was at that time under great con^idions. 1 knew not where to^ hide my head. I imagin'd any one might read hypocrijy in my face. And for this reafon I was afham'd to talk about y^// itual concerns. About this time our Tutor was chang'd, and the School was remov'd to Dcptford. I was now betn.veen 1 4 ajid J ^ years of age. And I remember if any one talk'd to- me about the flate of ray foul, I would always to them make the bell of my condition. I was dreadfully afraid for any one to knonv how bad I was. And whatever I thought -or knew o( myjltlf\ I would not for the world lofe my charafter with others. And indeed I was all along much .upheld and comforted, rather from other people's good opinion of me^ than from the fpirit and grace of Jbsus Christ. No preachings t\qx prinjate cont'erfa- tion fearch'd out my particular cafe. However ufeful it was iq others, it was not ad^.pted to me, neither did it reach me, I thought I wanted fome one to preach home to my ccnfcience. But 1 could not meet with it according to my defire. Tho' even at this time/^ lov'd the houfe of God, efpecially for the fake. of the /«^%, which I thought w^i heanjenl)'. I lik'd Minijiers, if they preach'd x."^ particular duties, and. the ^'^yj of heaven. I look'd upon ^w/j as the ac/y, ixi^ heaven as the f«^/. And I thought [ 10 ] thought the chief ufe oi b. ftanding minijiry was, to preach iip the joys of hea-ven^ in order to excite people to ftricl- nefs of duty, and to fupport them under the afflidions of this world: While I was at this Academy, I was fometimes wholly under the power oi^carrialmind, and fometimes had ftrong^ fpiritual imprejjtons upon me. Tho' upon the whole I think I was worfe at the other School than I ever was at this. ^here I finn'd more ^wilfully' : here more againji my nvill. There I did not refolve fo much againil fm : here my refo- lutions were fometimes exceeding flrong. Tho' even here, the Lo r d knoweth,. I'was very fmful. Vajffion, pride ^ Jelf conceit, luji, en^jy, a.nd a. certain four unforgi'vifjg tem- per reign'd in m.e much. Very often, when I quarrel'd with any of my fe//oiv-pupi/s, I would not fo much as Jpea^ to them again for many days, or perhaps ifiuence over me as to make me commit fm. However 1 thank'd him, and returned home : but found little or no power againft fm after, any more than before. Another of myy/-;>»fl'/, having fomc 'knowledge of my oafe, fent me MarfhaUh book, Upon the gofpel-niyfei-y of faniJ if cation, adapted peculiarly to the ■cafes of fuch as labour under the power q^ ind-ivcllijjg fn. I read it ever, but underftcod nothing of it. The whole iDook was indeed a mfcry to me, thro' the blindnefs of my mind. At this time, I belic/e indeed I was nncere, according to my light ; and began to grow more and more ferious. I likcwife began to have a higher thought of Jesus Christ, than I once had : and to think that there was more in religion, than I had been aware of. I remem- ber in reading over 2. Cor. i. when i came to the 19th verfe, I had an uncommon rc^y of light darted into my mind, from thofe words, For the Sen of Got), Jesus Christ, nxho ivas f reached atnong you, i^c. I imme- -ay, and tell our experiences. At thefe opportunities, / was uiually dumb : having a great weight of nature ly- ing upon me, though then I knew not what was the mat- ter with rae. We us'd alfo tojiudy fermons. And once in particular, in ftudyirg \omz fermons from Ifaiah Iv, i , I had much light into the gofpel communicated to me. The words were, Ho, e^very one that thirjleth, come ye to the tvaters, tfc. But v/hen fir^l I began to handle the; text, thinks I, Ha-tv do I knoiv that thefe njjords ha^ve any reference /o Christ I For I was not yet quite clear that the old Teftament belonged to Christ. Particu- larly, when I heard that a certain minifer expounded the ftory of Jofeph as having a reference to Christ, I thought he difcover'd great ^Lveaknefs in fo doing. Ano- ther time, I remem.ber, I lik'd Calvin much, becaufe I had been informed that he was not fo free in interpreting fome of the Old Tefament fcriptures of Christ, as others were. Ho'we'Vir, thinks I, if the prophet did not mea?t Christ, // n/jill be no harm fare for me to apply the ivords to him. So I began, and by thirfling I under- ftood /wf/' coTiviSiions and uneafinefs of foul, as i myfelf had once had : by \\\.Q>waters, I underftood 0:iq{^ fpi ritu- al blefjings and benefts which were purchas'd by Ch R ist's death. For I thought as there was a fuitablenefs in water to a thirfly foul, fo there was a fuitablenefs in Christ to the cafe of a guilty convifled firmer. I re- member I was much pleased, when 1 had found out this. Then ih^ prophet fays, buy and eat. This I thcught muft mean ^ real-interefl in the benefits of Ch r Ist's death, and 2^ fnfilk application of them, to the foul. J began to mierv [ 20 ] query whetKer I had ever had this myfelf in a right man- ner ; and I remember I wanted to fee fome inftances that could tellify that they had. Upon the whole, I received much light from the Lo r d about this time ; and began, I believe, really to hunger and thirji after righteoujnefs. Thofe words were inexprefiibly fweet to me, Come unto me all ye that labour^ and are heavy-laden^ and I jere forgiven ; yet I did not much doubt but they ^ould : but honv^ or R>jhen, or in what manner I fhould be apprehenfi've of it, this I knew not. A little after this, one morning, March /^, 1738-9. our bed-maker came into my chamber^ and told me that a young woman was a dying o^ver the n.vay, as happy and as joyful as fhe could be, I ran over to fee this young nvo- man : whom [ndeed I found in a moft fweet frame. She was aj/ur'd that Christ had lov'd her and died for her : fhe was aflur'd that her Jlns had liberty to enlarge more than I had wrote down. For before, I us'd only to read, as the fafhionable mode, was, in which we were train'd up. At length I laid afide w^?/^ J entirely, and fpake as I had utterance given me.^ And wonderful freedom I had indeed. Infomuch that I took courage, and could not help faying, Blejfed fpirit, as. thou haft once fwvoiir^d me nvith thy afftjlance, go on to be gracious to me. Give me ahvays a 7nouth of utter- ance y that T/iy lips ?;iay Jhenjo forth thy praije. I enjoy'd. feveral delightful fahbaths here: -and fometimes the love- of Ch R 1ST would flow from me as rivers of water. The audience would be melted into tears. And fome then re- ceiv'd the love and grace of Christ, which have fol- lowM on to know the Lor d ever fince. This >va<:Z'^ //o» L had ^one night's interview with Mr. Whit ef eld ^X. Cirencejier : when Mr. Senvard and I alfo had moft fweet communion. But now I muil return to tlit-j^cadeviy again, to have my faith tried. Whea- [23 ] "When I came to Deptford, I found people wonderfully mov'd and itiri'd up, by Mr. IVlAiefelcVs preaching upon Black-heath. I rejoyc'd to find it fo, and wanted nothing more than the flame of love to continue. My mouth was now open'd : and I had power in all companies to talk of the things of God : which was what ahvays before I had been iliy of. I had fuch freedom of fpeech in this refpec^, that 1 was an allonilhment tamyfelf: as well as a won- der to others which had known me before. Among a 'few of us, I propos'd the fetting up of a Society to fmg and pray together, and keep one another n.t:a>jn in the love of God. Several approv'd of it much. I thought it proper to advifc with the Re^. Mr. Whitejield^ and dear Mr. Seivatd, now dcceas'd^ about it, who alfo put it forward. I likewife propos'd it to fomeof my felloiv-pu- pilsy who at firft fell in with it, but afterwards declin'd it : being apprehenfive it would make a ftir, and offend our tutor : who indeed had intimated t-hat he fhould oppcfe it with all his might. However, Juguji %, 1739, after prayer for direflion, the Society was let on foot. We had a hv^t du?icing- , roomy convenient for the purpofe. Mr. Senxard was with me. And feveral v^/ere prefent. We pray'd and fung hpnns : and at iirft I only us'd to read Mr. WhittfieW^ fennons to the people. But afterwards I could not help giving >^ff;7 exhortations after xh^fermon. Till at length I was conllrain'd to difccurfe freely to thera about the things that concern'd the Lord Jesus. And many I believe at that time felt the prefence and power of the Lord. The number increased, till fe'veral hund eds us'd to at- tend : and many were always oblig'd on a fahhath-day to go away, that the rc^?//; cculd not contain. Wegeneraily us'd to meet tix-ice a week j fometimes oflner. O^ie hun- dred zndi forty men and women gave in their names ^ with a dcfire to be of the Society ^ in order to be infuudted in the ways of God. I had great encouragement, and my tall feem'd clear. The cafe being this. Many poor fouls were awaken'd fo far as to defre the milk of the word. No one was inclin'd to difpenfe it to them but myfelf. For Mr. IVhitefield \vz.% now gone. And 1 be- ing defign'd for the fninijiry, and having an opportunity of -doing good, even while I purfued myjiudies, only fpend- ing 1 24 ] ■ing the fame time with the Society, as perhaps the other Joung men did in their recreation : I judg'd that it abfo- lutely lay upon w^ to do what I could for the advantage •of thefe fouls. Accordingly I did, fo far as I had abi- lity : infilling chiefly upon 2ipoor Jinners j unification be* fore GoDy thro' the redeemer s merit i\ ihewing the na^ turey necejfity, and blej/ednefs of it. But for this, I was foon violently opposed. I became the butt of the com- •mon people. J was ftngular in the School. T^hreatned by my tutor. Dropt by mofl: oimy old friends. Dcem'd befides myfelfhy (dm^: and at laft, Dec. 25, 1739, \^X.- \(sx\y expeir d the Academy : for no other crime, I thank •God, but this. Whether, in this, the Oentlemenotlhlt foundation were clear from a pe}fecuti7igfpirit, (hall be left to another day to determine. Be'that as it will, I think myfelfhdwever much oblig'd to them, for that ^part of my education which they gave me'i which was from June 24, 1733. to December 21^ y 1739- ^ ^^?^ ^^^ Lord will reward them for the whole of their bounty. And 1 trult it is nofmall pleafure and fatisfadion tothem, to find that their iiefign is fully anfwered in this y that I now preach the very fame doctrines , for which they educated me. I was now thrown into the midll of a wide world. But the Lord took me up. For I was joyful 'ivithin, and foon pro-vided for v^ithout. For at'firlt I was inade wel- come to a friend's houfe at Leivifyam : and afterwards was enter'd upon a'nofher foundation at an Academy in 'London *, where I had liberty both to purfue my ftudies, and to attend upon the methcdift fociefies likewife. Here "I ftaid for near ^ixielve -months till the Lord's harveft caird me to lay myfelf out intirefy in the labour of the field. And 'I cannot help obftrving that I am a nk-itnefs, that whofoever leaves houfe or land for the kingdom of 'God's fake, fhall receive manifold more, even in this prefent time : as well as life everlafting hereafter. For I Uefs God, to this day, I have never wanted any good thing: but have had a conilant plenty of /oo^ and /-/»/- ment, zx\d. friends^ and houjes: nothing indeed certain, but all depending upon my heavenly /«/-^^r'i care from * Mr. J.. Eameo's, /« Moor fields. day [25] Xday today: who has faithfully provided for me, without ^\ fettled Jalary. So that if my Lord were to afk me, ivhsn I fent thee 'without purfe or fcr'ip, lackedfi thou any thing ? I might truly and thankfully fay, 'Nothings Lor d. For the firft t<-welo^ preached and printed againft * by the Clergy : and afterwards alfo violently oppos'd by the rude mob, who us'd to treat both me and the people in the mofl rough manner : haling us about y thron.vir2g us upon the grcund, beating us i frequently pelting us with ftones or brick-bats^ rotten eggs, ap' pies, diingyjire-ivorks, and other fuch things : officers fend- ing their men to prefsme: kcoted at along the Jireefs : /pit upon: caWd names' : //^r' guilt and unworthinefs had been atcn'd for, by his death upon the crofs. There by faith 1 could fee that he hung for me : and that God had dealt with him as a fmner, and punifh'd him as fuch, by reafon oi my fms, among others, being imputed to him. I could now triumph over my fms, becaufe the Lamb had carried them all away. I no longer look'd upon my fins as mine j but as what Christ was to anfwerfor. Christ was mine: and I found myfelf perfe^ly righteous and fpotlefs before God thro' his righteoufnefs. He was condemn'd for my guilt : and I was juliified for his righteoufnefs. This I clearly expe- rienc'd that night. And finding that I now had the Sa'vi- eur h^ in my arms of a truth, 1 filently held him and *would not lei him go. I was inwardly fill before the Lord. I car'd not to talk much about it to others: but having found this treafure of the kingdom of heaven, / hid it, and for joy thereof went and fold all that I had ia bu)«lthe field. Matt. xiii. 44, I made it my bufmefs /6, or lo^je, or Joy ^ I laid ray wants before my faviour : and fhouid receive cut of his falnefs, and grace for grace. Sometimes I iTiOu'd be loft and overwhelm'd in the love of Ch r ist : I fhou'd be like one f^mming in the ocean of love. The Love of God was fied abroad in my heart by the Holy Ghojl Vihich was given unto me. All my defires were after God : and the more I cnjofdo^ him, the more I breathed after him. So that I never felty^.';:,^ a frottg and 'vehe- ment hungring and thir/iing after him in all my life be- fore. In fhort, I npw found fuch a change in my heart, as I was never confcious of before. My eye was fingle to the glory of God : or at leall: if I knew any thing to be cthern.vife, I would not do it for the world. My conti- nual fteady aim was to do e'very thing in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, and to the glory of God the Father. I now ceas'd from man as my teacher : for I found Christ to be my prophet: and his fpirit to be my teacher, ii^^ led me into all /^/at/ truth, wliich made me free indeed. At times I fhouid have difr.:S( uiico- veries and oianifeilations. Thus fometimes, Christ's lo