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MEMOIRS 
 
 OF    THE 
 
 REV.    DAVID    BRAINERD; 
 
 MISSIONARY 
 
 TO  THE  INDIANS 
 
 ON  THE   BORDERS    OF  J^TEW-YORK,  NEW-JERSEY,  AND 
 PENNSYLVANIA . 
 
 CHIEFLY  TAKEN  FROM  HIS  OWN  DIARY. 
 Bv  Rev.  JONATHAN  EDWARDS,  op  Northampton. 
 
 INCLUDING     HIS     JOURNAL,     NOW   FOR    THE    FIRST   TIME    INCORPORATED    WITH    THE 
 REST    OF    HIS    DIARY,    IN   A    REGULAR    CHRONOLOGICAL    SERIES- 
 
 BY  SERENO  EDWARDS  DWIGHT. 
 
 NEW-HAVEN: 
 
 TRINTED  AND  PUBLISHED  BY 
 S.  COxWERSE. 
 
 1822. 
 
DISTRICT  OF  COJ^NECTICUT,  ss. 
 BE  IT  RE>TEMBERED,  That  on  the  twenty-first  day  of  May. 
 in  the  forty-sixth  year  of  the  Independence  of  the  United  States  of 
 America,  Sherman  Converse,  of  the  said  District,  hath  deposited 
 in  this  office  the  title  of  a  Book,  the  ri»ht  whereof  he  claims  as  Pro- 
 prietor, in  the  words  following',  to  wit  : 
 "  Memoirs  of  the  Rev.  David  Brainerd ;  Missionary  to  the  Indians,  on  the  bor- 
 "  ders  of  New-York,  New-Jersey  and  Pennsylvania,  chiefly  taken  from  his  own  di- 
 **  ary.  By  Rev.  Jonathan  Edwards,  of  Northampton.  Including  his  Journal,  now  for 
 "  the  first  time  incorporated  with  the  rest  of  his  diary,  in  a  regular  chronological 
 "series.     By  Sereno  Edwards  Dwight." 
 
 In  conformity  to  the  Act  of  the  Congress  of  the  United  States,  entitled,  "  An  Act 
 for  the  encouragement  of  learning,  by  securing  the  copies  of  Maps,  Charts  and 
 Book?,  to  the  authors  and  proprietors  of  such  copies,  during  the  times  therein  men- 
 tioned." CHA'S.  A.  INGERSOLL, 
 
 Clerk  of  the  District  of  Connecticut. 
 A  true  copy  of  Record,  examined  and  sealed  by  me, 
 
 CHA'S.  A.  INGERSOLL, 
 
 Ckrk  of  the  District  of  Connecticut. 
 
ADVERTISEMENT  BY  THE  EDITOR. 
 
 About  the  year  1740,  several  distinguished  ministers  in  the  city  of 
 New  York  and  its  vicinity;  and  among  them,  Rev.  Ebenezer  Pember- 
 TON  of  New  York,  Rev.  Aaron  Burr  of  Newark,  and  Rev.  Jonathan 
 Dickinson  of  Ehzabethtown;  communicated  to  the  "  Society  in  Scot- 
 land FOR  propagating  CHRISTIAN  KNOWLEDGE,"  "  the  deplorable  and 
 perishing  state  of  the  Indians  in  the  provinces  of  New  York,  New 
 Jersey,  and  Pennsylvania." 
 
 In  consequence  of  this  representation,  the  Society  charitably  and 
 cheerfully  agreed  to  the  proposal  of  maintaining  two  missionaries  among 
 them,  to  convert  them  to  Christianity;  and  in  pursuance  of  this  design 
 sent  those  gentlemen,  and  some  others — both  clergymen  and  laymen, 
 a  Commission  to  act  as  their  Commissioners,  or  Correspondents,  "  in 
 providing,  directing,  and  inspecting  the  said  Mission." 
 
 "As  soon  as  the  Correspondents  received  their  commission,"  to  use 
 their  own  language,  "  they  immediately  looked  out  for  two  candidates 
 for  the  ministry,  whose  zeal  for  the  interests  of  the  Redeemer's  king- 
 dom, and  whose  compassion  for  perishing  souls  would  prompt  them  to 
 such  an  exceedingly  difficult  and  self-denying  undertaking.  They 
 first  prevailed  with  Mr.  Azariah  Horton  to  rehnquish  a  call  to 
 an  encouraging  parish,  and  to  devote  himself  to  the  Indian  service. 
 He  was  directed  to  Long  Island  in  August,  1741,  at  the  east  end  of  which 
 there  are  two  small  towns  of  Indians;  and,  from  the  east  to  the  west 
 end  of  the  island,  lesser  companies  settled  at  a  iew  miles  distance  from 
 one  another,  for  the  distance  of  more  than  a  hundred  miles.  At  his 
 first  arrival,  he  was  well  received  by  most,  and  cordially  welcomed  by 
 some  of  them.  Those  at  the  east  end  of  the  island,  especially,  gave  dili- 
 gent and  serious  attention  to  his  instructions;  and  many  of  them  were 
 led  to  ask  the  solemn  enquiry.  What  they  should  do  to  be  saved?  A 
 general  reformation  of  manners  was  soon  observable  among  most  of 
 these  Indians.  They  were  careful  to  attend,  and  serious  and  solemn 
 while  attending,  upon  both  pubUc  and  private  instructions.     A  number 
 
4  ADVERTISEMENT. 
 
 of  them  were  under  very  deep  conviction?  of  their  nriiserable,  perishing 
 state:  and  about  tn-cntij  of  them  give  lasting  evidences  of  their  saving 
 conversion  to  God.  Mr.  IIorton  has  baptized  thirty-five  adults,  and 
 forty-four  children.  He  took  pains  with  them  to  teach  them  to  read; 
 and  some  of  them  have  made  considerable  proficiency.  But  the  ex- 
 tensiveness  of  his  charge,  and  the  necessity  of  his  travelling  from  place 
 to  place,  renders  him  incapable  of  giving  so  constant  an  attendance  to 
 their  instruction  in  reading,  as  is  necessary.  In  his  last  letter  to  the 
 Correspondents,  he  heavily  complains  of  a  great  defection  of  some  of 
 them  from  their  first  reformation  and  care  of  their  souls;  occasioned 
 by  strong  drink  being  brought  among  them,  and  their  being  thereby 
 allured  to  relapse  into  their  darling  vice  of  drunkenness.  This  is  a 
 vice  to  which  the  Indians  are  every  where  so  greatly  addicted,  and  so 
 vehemently  disposed,  that  nothing  but  the  power  of  divine  grace  can 
 restrain  that  impetuous  lust,  when  they  have  opportunity  to  gratify  it. 
 He  likewise  complains,  that  some  of  them  have  grown  more  careless 
 and  remiss  in  the  duties  of  religious  worship,  than  they  were  when 
 first  acquainted  with  the  great  things  of  their  eternal  peace.  But,  as 
 a  number  retain  their  first  impressions,  and  as  they  generally  attend 
 with  reverence  upon  his  ministry,  he  goes  on  with  his  work  with  en- 
 couraging hopes  of  the  presence  and  blessing  of  God  with  him  in  this 
 difficult  undertaking." 
 
 With  the  subsequent  labours  and  success  of  Mr.  Horton  the  Editor 
 is  unacquainted;  not  having  been  able  to  ascertain  how  long  he  wns  em- 
 ployed as  a  Missionary;  or  whether  his  Diary  was  ever  published. 
 
 "  It  was  some  time  after  this,  before  the  Correspondents  could  obtain 
 another  Missionary.  At  length  they  prevailed  with  Mr.  David  Brain- 
 ERD  to  refuse  several  invitations  to  places,  where  he  had  a  promising 
 prospect  of  a  comfortable  settlement,  to  encounter  the  fatigues  and 
 perils  which  must  attend  his  carrying  the  Gospel  of  Christ  to  these  poor, 
 miserable  savages."* 
 
 David  Buainf:rd,  the  subject  of  the  ensuing  Life,  and  author  of 
 the  Diary  incor{)orated  with  it,  was  exnmined  and  approved  as  a  Mis- 
 sionary, fit  the  city  of  New  York,  by  the  Correspondents  of  the  Soci- 
 ety in  Scotland  for  projcigating  Christian  Knowledge,  Nov.  25,  1742. 
 
 *  These  extracts  are  from  the  rrofacn  of  the  Correspondent?  to  Brainerd's  Letter 
 lo  Pembertou, 
 
ADVERTISEMENT.  5 
 
 The  field  of  Missionary  labour,  originally  proposed  for  him  by  the 
 Correspondents,  was  among  the  Indians  living  near  the  Forks  of  Dela- 
 ware in  Pennsylvania,  and  the  Indians  farther  westward  on  the  Susque- 
 hannah.  Owing  to  some  contention  subsisting,  at  the  time  of  his  ap- 
 pointment, between  these  Indians  and  the  whites,  concerning  their  lands, 
 the  Correspondents  concluded  to  defer  his  mission  among  them  until 
 harmony  was  restored;  and  having  received  intelligence  from  the  Rev. 
 Mr.  Sergeant,  Missionary  to  the  Indians  at  Stockbridge,  Massachusetts, 
 that  the  existing  state  of  the  Indians  at  Kaunaiimeek,  a  place  in  the 
 woods  between  Stockbridge  and  Albany,  promised  success  to  the  la- 
 bours of  a  Missionary;  they  selected  that  as  his  first  station.  His 
 labours  at  Kminaumeek  commenced  April  1,  1743,  and  continued  one 
 year;  when  he  prevailed  on  the  Indians  at  that  place  to  remove  to 
 Stockbridge  and  attend  on  the  Rev.  Mr.  Sergeant's  ministry. 
 
 Brainerd  was  ordained  as  a  Missionary  at  Newark,  N.  J.,  June  12th 
 1744;  and  on  the  22d  of  the  same  month,  entered  on  his  labours  at 
 Sakhauwotu7ig,  within  the  Forks  of  Delaware. 
 
 On  the  5th  of  October,  1744,  he  visited,  for  the  first  time,  the  In- 
 dians on  the  Susquehannah,  and  commenced  his  labours  at  a  place 
 called  Opeholhaiipung. 
 
 On  the  19th  of  June,  1745,  he  began  to  preach  to  the  Indians  at 
 CrossTiveeksung,  a  place  about  twenty  miles  west  of  Amboy  in  New  Jer- 
 sey, and  the  scene  of  his  greatest  success.  It  is  nov*'  called  Crossweeks, 
 and  is  on  the  road  from  Amboy  to  Bordentown. 
 
 On  the  3d  of  May,  1746,  he  removed  from  that  place,  with  the 
 whole  body  of  the  Indians,  to  a  place  called  Cranberry,  fifteen  miles 
 from  Crossweeksung.  At  these  places  he  continued  to  reside  until 
 March  20,  1747;  when,  owing  to  the  ravages  of  a  pulmonary  con- 
 sumption, brought  on  by  his  exposures  and  hardships,  his  labours  as  a 
 Missionary  were  terminated,  and  he  bade  farewell  to  his  beloved  Church 
 and  people  at  Cranberry. 
 
 The  first  communication,  made  by  him  to  the  Correspondents,  was 
 in  a  letter  to  the  Rev.  Mr.  Pemberton,  of  Nov.  5,  1744;  giving  a  suc- 
 cinct account  of  his  residence  at  Kaiinanmeck,  and  of  the  commence- 
 ment of  his  labours  of  Sakhauwotimg  and  Opeholhaupung.  After  this 
 he  regularly  forwarded  to  them  a  copy  of  his  Diary.  They  published 
 extracts  from  his  Diary,  in  two  parts  or  numbers,  with  some  variations 
 in  the  titles.     The  First  part,  commencing  with  his  residence  at  Cross- 
 
6  ADVERTISEMENT. 
 
 weeksungy  June    19th,    1745,    and   reaching  to  Nov.  4th,    1745;  was 
 pubhshed  early  in  the  following  year;  and  was  entitled, 
 "Mirabilia  Dei  inter  Indicos; 
 Or  the  Rise  and  Progress  of  a  remarkable  Work  of  Grace, 
 Among  a  number  of  the  Indians, 
 In  the  Provinces  of  New  Jersey  and  Pennsylvania; 
 Justly  represented  in  a  Journal,  kept  by  order  of  the  Honourable 
 Society  in  Scotland  for  propagating  Christian  Knowledge;  with  some 
 General  Remarks; 
 
 By  David  Brainerd, 
 Minister  of  the  Gospel,  and  Missionary  from  the  said  Society: 
 Published  by  the    Reverend  and  worthy  Correspondents    of  the  said 
 Society;  with  a  Preface  by  them." 
 The  Second   part,  extending  from   Nov.  24th,   1745,  to  June  19th 
 1746,  was  published  in  the  latter  part  of  that  year;  and  was  entitled 
 "  Divine  Grace  Displayed; 
 Or  the  Continuance  and  Progress  of  a  remarkable  Work  of  Grace 
 Among  some  of  the  Indians 
 Belonging  to  the  Provinces  of  New  Jersey  and  Pennsylvania; 
 Justly  represented  in  a  Journal  kept  by  order  of  the  Honourable  So- 
 ciety in  Scotland  for  propagating  Christian  Knowledge; 
 with  some  General  Remarks; 
 To  which  is  subjoined  an  Appendix,  containing  some  account  of  sundry 
 things,  and  especially  of  the    DifBculties  attending  the  Work  of  a 
 Missionary  among  the  Indians; 
 
 By  David  Brainerd, 
 
 Minister  of  the  Gospel,  and  Missionary  from  the  said  Society: 
 
 Published  by  the  Reverend  and  worthy  Correspondents  of  of  the  said 
 
 Society." 
 These  two  parts  have  always  been  called  "  Brainerd's  Journal;" 
 and  were  pnl)!i<licd  during  his  life. 
 
 Braineiu)  died  at  the  house  of  the  Rev.  Jonathan  Edwards,  of 
 Northampton,  Oct.  9th,  1747;  leaving  all  his  papers  in  the  hands  of 
 that  gentleman,  "  that  he  might  dispose  of  them  as  he  thought  would  be 
 most  for  (iod's  glory,  and  the  interest  of  Religion."  Of  these,  the 
 most  valuable  was  the  Account  of  his  early  life  and  the  original  copy  of 
 his  Diary.  From  these  materials,  Mr.  Edwards  prej)ared  a  Life  of 
 Brainerd,  an  8vo  volume  of  31G  pages;  which  was  published  at  Bos- 
 ton in  1749,  with  the  following  title; 
 
ADVERTISEMENT.  7 
 
 "An  Account  of  the  Life 
 
 Of  the  late  Rev.  David  Brainerd; 
 
 Missionary  to  the  Indians, 
 
 From  the  Hon.  Society  in  Scotland  for  the  propagation  of 
 
 Christian  Knowledge; 
 
 And  Pastor  of  a  Church  of  Christian  Indians  in  New  Jersey; 
 
 Who  died  at  Northampton,  October  9th,   1747, 
 
 In  the  30th  year  of  his  age: 
 
 Chiefly  taken  from  his  own  Diary,  and  other  private  writings,  written 
 
 for  his  own  use;  and  now  published. 
 
 By  Jonathan  Edwards,  A.  M. 
 
 Minister  of  the  Gospel  at  Northampton." 
 
 As  the  Journal  had  been  published  but  two  or  three  years,  and  was 
 already  in  the  possession  of  the  religious  public,  Mr.  Edwards  carefully 
 left  out  of  the  Life  those  extracts  from  the  Diary  which  were  contained 
 in  the  Journal.  The  Diary  begins  in  July  1740,  and  ends  Oct.  2,  1747. 
 The  extracts  from  it  in  the  Journal  extend  through  one  year,  from 
 June  19,  1745,  to  June  19,  1746.  They  do  not,  however,  comprise 
 the  whole  of  the  Diary  for  that  year;  but,  usually,  only  a  part  of  the 
 diary  for  each  day.  Mr.  Edwards,  in  the  Life,  supplies  the  diary  for 
 those  days,  and  parts  of  days^  of  that  year,  which  were  omitted  in  the 
 Journal;  and   omits  it   for  those  days,  and  parts  of  days,  which  the 
 
 Journal  contained;  regularly  inserting  a  dash  in  his  work,  thus 
 
 wherever  an  important  extract  from  the  Diary  was  omitted,  to  apprize 
 the  reader  that  he  would  find  that  omission  under  the  same  date  in  the 
 Journal.  His  delicate  integrity  would  not  allow  him  to  subject  his 
 subscribers  to  the  necessity  of  purchasing  the  same  matter  a  second 
 time.  The  consequence  is,  that  the  two  publications  include  different 
 portions  of  the  Diary,  during  the  most  interesting  year  of  his  life,  the 
 year  of  his  glorious  success  at  Crossweeksung;  yet  neither  contains 
 the  whole  for  that  year.  This  fact,  could  the  Life  and  the  Journal  be 
 procured,  would  render  it  impossible  to  read  the  Diary  in  a  regular 
 connected  series,  according  to  the  order  of  events.  But  both  the 
 Life  and  the  Journal  are  now,  and  for  many  years  have  been  out  of 
 print. 
 
 The  Life  by  Edwards  was  abridged  by  John  Wesley,  and  published 
 in  Engl  ind  a  few  years  after  it  appeared  in  this  country.  A  still  smal- 
 ler Abridgment  has  since  been  made  by  John  Styles;  and  frequently 
 
8  ADVERTISEMENT. 
 
 republished  both  in  England  and  America.  The  Abridgment  by  Wes- 
 ley, the  editor  has  not  seen.  That  by  Styles  is  a  cheap  12mo.  vol- 
 ume; made  at  a  time,  when  the  feelings  of  the  British  nation  had  not 
 been  roused  to  a  deep  interest  in  Missions  and  Missionaries;  and  when 
 probably  it  was  supposed,  that  the  complete  work  would  not  sell.  Beside 
 omitting  a  very  considerable  portion  of  the  Life  and  Diary,  it  leaves 
 out  the  following  Documents,  viz:  1,  Brainerd's  Letter  to  Pember- 
 TON,  giving  an  account  of  his  residence  at  Kaunamneek.  2.  His  account 
 of  the  Doctrines,  preached  to  the  Indians  at  Crosweeksung,  and  their 
 extraordinary  effects.  3.  His  method  of  learning  the  Indian  Language. 
 4.  His  method  of  instructing  the  Indians.  5.  His  account  of  the  Diffi- 
 culties which  attend  the  christianizing  of  the  Indians.  6.  The  Attesta- 
 tions of  the  neighbouring  Ministers  to  the  Grace  of  God  displayed 
 among  the  Indians.  Several  of  the  Remains  of  Brainerd.  8.  Pem- 
 BERTON^'s  Sermon  at  his  Ordination.  9.  Edwards'  Sermon  at  his  Fu- 
 neral. 10.  Two  Letters  of  John  Brainerd,  his  brother,  and  succes- 
 sor as  Missionary  to  the  Indians,  giving  an  account  of  the  Indian  Con- 
 verts after  his  death. 
 
 The  knowledge  of  these  facts,  acquired,  not  without  some  degree  of 
 labour  and  research;  and  the  conviction  that  the  Church,  both  in  Ameri- 
 ca, and  England,  is  now  prepared  to  welcome  a  complete  Life  of  Brain- 
 erd, and  that  it  is  calculated  to  be  eminently  useful;  have  lead  to  the 
 present  Publication. 
 
 The  state  of  the  public  feeling  in  both  countries,  is  already  exten- 
 sively '.dtered.  The  friends  of  Missions  are  now  numerous,  and  are 
 rapidly  increasing.  With  their  interest  in  Missions,  is  associated,  of 
 course,  an  interest  in  faithful  Missionaries.  That  the  Church  at  large 
 feels  this  interest,  the  Memoirs  of  Swartz,  Buciianan,  Harriet  New- 
 ell, Mills,  and  Henry  Martyn,  furnish  abundant  evidence.  But  this 
 interest  is  not  confined  to  the  Missionaries  of  the  present  day;  it  ex- 
 tends to  those  of  an  earlier  and  a  darker  period,  to  Elhott  and  May- 
 hew.  Those  holy  men  stood  the  watch-lights  of  the  age  in  which  they 
 lived.  They  burned  with  a  flame  which  could  not  be  extinguished; 
 for  it  w{is  kindled  from  the  fires  of  Heaven.  In  their  histories,  they 
 still  shine  with  equal  lustre,  and  shed  the  same  eflfulgence  on  mankind. 
 "  The  foundations  of  many  generations,"  are  beginning  to  be  "  restor- 
 ed;" and  the  American  Church  will  contemplate,  with  feelings  of  sa- 
 
ADVERTISEMENT.  9 
 
 cred  pleasure,  the  Discovery  thus  ehcited,  that  her  own  Elliott  was 
 the  Jirst  Protestant  Missionary  to  the  Heathen. 
 
 Before  this  alteration,  the  work  of  Styles  was  of  essential  service  to 
 the  christian  world;  for  it  preserved  the  remembrance  of  Brainerd, 
 and  thus  kept  alive  the  spirit  of  Missions.  But  the  whole  Church  now 
 feel  the  deepest  interest  in  the  life  of  that  man  whom  Henry  Martyn 
 made  his  model;  and  who  would  probably  be  selected  by  all  denomina- 
 tions of  christians  as  the  holiest  missionary,  if  not  the  holiest  man,  of 
 modern  times.  His  name  is  now  extensively  known  throughout  Chris- 
 tendom; and  the  time  is  near,  when  it  will  be  more  generally  known, 
 over  this  world,  than  that  of  Alexander,  Caesar,  or  Napoleon.  The 
 veneration  felt  for  his  memory,  by  the  Church,  approaches  that,  with 
 which  they  regard  the  memory  of  the  early  Evangelists  and  the  Apos- 
 tles; and  nothing  which  is  an  effusion  of  his  pen,  a  memorial  of  his  life, 
 or  an  illustration  of  his  character,  will  now  be  regarded  with  indiffer- 
 ence. 
 
 The  Editor  originally  intended  to  have  made  this  publication  one  of 
 the  volumes  of  a  complete  Edition  of  the  works  of  President  Edwards, 
 which  is  now  preparing  for  the  press.  Three  considerations  have  in- 
 duced him  to  publish  it  by  itself.  1.  The  volume  is  almost  wholly  the 
 work  of  Brainerd.  2.  The  works  of  Edwards  are  very  voluminous 
 without  it.  3.  The  subscribers  to  Edwards'  Works  can  easily  bind  it 
 as  the  last  volume  of  these  works. 
 
 It  has  been  his  intention  to  render  this  volume  as  a  memoir  of  Brain- 
 erd, complete.  It  contains  the  whole  of  the  Life  and  Diary  including 
 the  Journal,  together  with  all  his  letters,  and  other  writings  (so  far  as 
 they  are  known  to  the  editor)  and  the  concluding  Reflections  on  his 
 Memoirs,  by  President  Edwards;  all  arranged  in  a  regular  series,  ac- 
 cording to  the  order  of  events.  In  addition  to  these,  it  contains  two 
 letters  of  John  Brainerd,  and  the  Sermons  of  Pemberton  and  Ed- 
 wards; both  of  uncommon  excellence. 
 
 The  Diary  of  Brainerd,  a  single  point  only  excepted,  is  probably 
 the  best  manual  of  christian  experience,  ever  yst  published.  The  ex- 
 ception arises  from  the  fact,  that  the  native  temperament  of  Brainerd's 
 mind  inclined  him  to  melancholy.  This,  his  biographer,  and  himself, 
 towards  the  close  of  life,  regarded  as  a  serious  unhappiness,  not  to  say 
 defect,  in  his  character.  If  the  requisite  allowance  be  made  for  this 
 constitutional  infirmity,  the  diary  will  prove  altogether  useful  to  the 
 
10  ADVERTISEMENT. 
 
 private  christian.  As  an  example  of  a  mind  tremulously  apprehensive 
 of  sin,  loathing  it  in  every  form,  and  for  its  own  sake,  avoiding  even  the 
 appearance  of  evil,  rising  above  all  terrestrial  considerations,  advancing 
 rapidi}^  in  holiness,  and  finding  its  only  enjoyment  in  the  glory  of  God; 
 probably  no  similar  work  in  any  language,  can  furnish  a  parallel. 
 
 In  the  Reflections  on  the  Memoirs  of  Brainerd,  as  in  a  clear  trans- 
 parent mirror,  the  reader  if  he  is  not  voluntarily  blind,  will  discover 
 the  true  character  of  his  own  heart.  The  narrative  of  conversions, 
 during  the  long  Pentecost  season  at  Croszceeksung,  while  it  cannot  fail  to 
 delight  and  animate  the  real  christian,  will  satisfy  every  mind  open  to 
 conviction,  that  the  Doctrines  there  taught  were  those  taught  by  the 
 Apostles;  and  will  teach  every  Minister,  that  to  preach  Christ  crucified 
 is  the  only  way  to  secure  the  co-operation  of  the  Holy  Spirit.  The 
 account  given  by  Brainerd  of  the  Doctrines  which  he  preached  to  the 
 Indians,  and  their  visible  Effects;  of  his  method  of  learning  their  lan- 
 guage; of  his  plan  of  Instruction;  and  of  the  Dijficulties  in  the  way  of 
 christianizing  them,  will  also  be  peculiarly  useful  to  the  Missionary; 
 while  the  Diary  at  large  will  furnish  him  an  example  of  self-denial,  of 
 patience  under  privations  and  sufferings,  and  of  glorying  in  infirmities, 
 which  Paul  himself  would  have  respected  and  loved.  On  the  whole, 
 the  editor  is  convinced  that  few  works  hitherto  published,  are  calcula- 
 ted to  be  equally  useful  to  the  Church  at  large,  or  to  the  individual 
 Christian;  and,  with  these  views  concerning  it,  he  cheerfully  com- 
 mends it  to  the  blessing  of  Almighty  God;  without  which  the  Word  of 
 Life,  itself,  becomes  "a  savour  of  death  unto  death.^"* 
 
 SERENO  EDWARDS  D WIGHT 
 
 Boston,  February  ^-2,  1822. 
 
SERMON, 
 
 PREACHED  IN  NEWARK, 
 
 JUNE   12,  1744, 
 
 AT  THE  ORDINATION  OF 
 
 MR.    DAVID   BRAINERD, 
 
 A   MISSIONARY   TO   THE   INDIANS 
 
 ON  THE  BORDERS  OF  NEW-YORK,  NEW-JERSEY  AND  PENNSYLVANIA. 
 
 BY  EBENEZER  PEMBERTON,  A.  M. 
 
 PASTOR  OF  THE  PRESBYTERIAN  CHURCH 
 IN   THE   CITY   OF   NEW-YORK. 
 
AN  ORDINATION  SERMON,  &c. 
 
 LUKE    XIV.    23. 
 
 And  tlxe  Lord  said  unto  the  servant,  Go  out  into  the  high-ways 
 and  hedges,  and  compel  them  to  come  in,  that  my  house  may  he 
 filled, 
 
 God  erected  this  visible  world  as  a  monument  of  his  glory, 
 a  theatre  for  the  display  of  his  adorable  perfections.  The  heav- 
 ens proclaim  his  wisdom  and  power  in  shining  characters,  and 
 the  whole  earth  is  full  of  his  goodness.  Man  was  in  his  original 
 creation  excellently  fitted  for  the  service  of  God,  and  for  per- 
 fect happiness  in  the  enjoyment  of  the  divine  favour.  But  sin 
 has  disturbed  the  order  of  nature,  defaced  the  beauty  of  the  most 
 disconsolate  circumstances  of  guilt  and  misery. 
 
 The  all-seeing  eye  of  God  beheld  our  deplorable  state  ;  infi- 
 nite pity  touched  the  heart  of  the  Father  of  mercies  ;  and  infinite 
 wisdom  laid  the  plan  of  our  recovery.  The  Majesty  of  heaven 
 did  not  see  meet  to  suffer  the  enemy  of  mankind  eternally  to 
 triumph  in  his  success  ;  nor  leave  his  favourite  workmanship  irre- 
 coverably to  perish  in  the  ruins  of  the  apostacy.  By  a  method, 
 which  at  once  astonishes  and  delights  the  spirits  above,  he  open- 
 ed a  way  for  the  display  of  his  mercy,  without  any  violation  of  the 
 sacred  claims  of  his  justice  ;  in  which,  the  honour  of  the  law  is 
 vindicated,  and  the  guilty  offender  acquitted;  sin  is  condemned, 
 and  the  sinner  eternally  saved.  To  accomplish  this  blessed  de- 
 sign, the  beloved  Son  of  God  assumed  the  nature  of  man ;  in  our 
 nature  died  a  spotless  sacrifice  for  sin  ;  by  the  atoning  virtue  of 
 his  blood  "he  made  reconciliation  for  iniquity,"  and  by  his  per- 
 fect obedience  to  the  law  of  God,  "  brought  in  everlasting  right- 
 eousness." 
 
 Having  finished  his  work  upon  earth,  before  he  ascended  to 
 his  heavenly  Father,  he  commissioned  the  ministers  of  his  king- 
 dom to  "  preach  the  gospel  to  every  creature."  He  sent  them 
 forth  to  make  the  most  extensive  offers  of  salvation  to  rebellious 
 sinners,  and  by  all  the  methods  of  holy  violence  to  "  compel 
 them  to  come  in,"  and  accept  the  invitations  of  his  grace.  We 
 have  a  lively  representation  of  this  in  the  parable,  in  which  our 
 text  is  contained. 
 
14  PEMBERTON'S  SERMON 
 
 The  evident  design  of  it  is,  under  the  figure  of  a  marriage  sup- 
 per, to  set  forth  the  plentiful  provision,  which  is  made  in  our  Lord 
 Jesus  Christ  for  the  reception  of  his  people,  and  the  freedom  and 
 riches  of  divine  grace,  which  invites  the  most  unworthy  and  mis- 
 erable sinners,  to  partake  of  this  sacred  entertainment.  The  first 
 invited  guests  were  the  Jews,  the  favourite  people  of  God,  who 
 were  heirs  of  divine  love,  while  the  rest  ofthe  world  were  "  ahens 
 from  the  commonwealth  of  Israel,  and  strangers  from  the  cove- 
 nants of  promise :"  but  these,  through  the  power  of  prevailing 
 prejudice,  and  the  influence  of  carnal  affections,  obstinately  re- 
 jected the  invitation,  and  were  therefore  finally  excluded  from 
 these  invaluable  blessings. 
 
 But  it  was  not  the  design  of  infinite  wisdom,  that  these  costly 
 preparations  should  be  lost,  and  the  table  he  had  spread  remain 
 unfurnished  with  guests.  Therefore  he  sent  forth  his  servant 
 '•  into  the  streets  and  lanes  of  the  city,"  and  commanded  him  to 
 bring  in  "  the  poor,  the  maimed,  the  halt,  and  the  blind," — i,  e, 
 the  most  necessitous  and  miserable  of  mankind  ; — ^yea,  to  "  go  out 
 into  the  high-ways  and  hedges,"  to  the  wretched  and  perishing 
 Gentiles,  and  not  only  invite,  but  even  "compel  them  to  come  in, 
 that  his  house  might  be  filled." 
 
 The  words  ofthe  text  represent  to  us, 
 I.  The  melancholy  state  of  the   Gentile  world.     They  are  de- 
 scribed as  "  in  the  high-ways  and  hedges,"  in  the  most 
 perishing  and  helpless  condition. 
 II.  The  compassionate  care^  which  the  blessed  Redeemer  takes 
 of  them  in  these  their  deplorable   circumstances.     He 
 "  sends  out  his  servants"  to  them,  to  invite  them  to  par- 
 take ofthe  entertainments  of  Aw  house, 
 III.  The  duty  ofthe  ministers  ofthe  gospel,  to  "compel  them  to 
 come  in,"  and  accept  of  his  gracious  invitation.     These 
 I  shall  consider  in  their  order,  and  then  apply  them  to 
 the  present  occasion. 
 
 I.  I  am  to  consider  the  melancholy  state  of  the  Heathen  world 
 while  in  the  darkness  of  nature,  and  destitute  of  divine  revelation. 
 It  is  easy  to  harangue  upon  the  excellency  and  advantage  of  the 
 light  of  nature.  It  is  agreeable  to  the  pride  of  mankind  to  exalt 
 the  powers  of  human  reason,  and  pronounce  it  a  sufficient  guide 
 to  eternal  happiness.  But  let  us  inquire  into  the  records  of  an- 
 tiquity,  let  us  consult  the  experience  of  all  ages,  and  we  shall  find, 
 that  those  who  had  no  guide  but  the  light  of  nature,  no  instructor 
 but  unassisted  reason,  have  wandered  in  perpetual  uncertainty, 
 darkness,  and  error.     Or  let  us  take  a  view  of  the  present  state  of 
 
AT  BRAINERD'S  ORDINATION.  15 
 
 those  countries  that  have  not  been  illuminated  by  the  gospel ;  and 
 we  shall  see,  that  notwithstanding  the  improvements  of  licar  six 
 thousand  years,  they  remain  to  this  day  covered  with  the  gross- 
 est darkness,  and  abandoned  to  the  most  immoral  and  vicious 
 practices. 
 
 The  beauty  and  good  order  every  where  discovered  in  the  visi- 
 ble frame  of  nature,  evidences,  beyond  all  reasonable  dispute,  the 
 existence  of  an  infinite  and  Almighty  Cause,  who  first  gave  being  to 
 the  universe,  and  still  preserves  it  by  his  powerful  providence. 
 Says  the  apostle  to  the  Gentiles,  (Rom.  i.  20.)  "  The  invisible 
 things  of  God,  from  the  creation  of  the  world,  are  clearly  seen,  be- 
 ing understood  by  the  things  that  are  made,  even  his  eternal  power 
 and  Godhead."  And  yet  many,  even  among  the  philosophers  of 
 the  Gentile  nations,  impiously  denied  the  eternal  Deity,  from 
 whose  hands  they  received  their  existence  ;  and  blasphemed  his 
 infinite  perfections,  when  surrounded  with  the  clearest  demon- 
 strations of  his  power  and  goodness.  Those  who  acknowledged 
 a  Deity,  entertained  the  most  unworthy  conceptions  of  his  nature 
 and  attributes,  and  worshipped  the  creature,  in  the  place  of  the 
 Creator,  "  who  is  God  blessed  for  ever."  Not  only  the  illustrious 
 heroes  of  antiquity,  and  the  public  benefactors  of. mankind,  but 
 even  the  most  despicable  beings  in  the  order  of  nature,  were  en- 
 rolled in  the  catalogue  of  their  gods,  and  became  the  object  of 
 their  impious  adoration.  "  They  changed  the  glory  of  the  incor- 
 ruptible God  into  an  image  made  like  to  corruptible  man,  to  birds 
 and  four-footed  beasts,  and  creeping  things."  Rom.  i.  23. 
 
 A  few  of  the  sublimest  geniuses  of  Rome  and  Athens,  had  some 
 faint  discoveries  of  the  spiritual  nature  of  the  soul,  and  formed 
 some  probable  conjectures,  that  man  was  designed  for  a  future 
 state  of  existence.  When  they  considered  the  extensive  capaci- 
 ties of  the  human  mind,  and  the  deep  impressions  of  futurity  en- 
 graven in  every  breast,  they  could  not  but  infer,  that  the  soul  was 
 immortal,  and  at  death  would  be  translated  to  some  new  and  un- 
 known state.  When  they  saw  the  virtuous  oppressed  with  vari- 
 ous and  successive  calamities,  and  the  vilest  of  men  triumphing  in 
 prosperity  and  pleasure,  they  entertained  distant  hopes,  that,  in  a 
 future  revolution,  these  seeming  inequalities  would  be  rectified, 
 these  inconsistencies  removed  ;  the  righteous  distinguishingly  re- 
 warded, and  the  wicked  remarkably  punished.  But  after  all  their 
 inquiries  upon  this  important  subject,  they  attained  no  higher 
 than  some  probable  conjectures,  some  uncertain  expectations. 
 And  when  they  came  to  describe  the  nature  and  situation  of  these 
 invisible  regions  of  happiness  or  misery,  they  made  the  wildest 
 guesses,  and  run  into  the  most  absurd  and  vain  imaginations.  The 
 heaven  they  contrived  for  the  entertainment  of  the  virtuous,  wa?^ 
 
10  PEAJBERTON'S  SERMON 
 
 nia(k;  up  oC  sensual  pleasures,  beneath  the  dignity  of  human  na- 
 ture, and  inconsistent  with  perfect  felicity.  The  hell  they  de- 
 scribed for  the  punishment  of  (lie  vicious,  consisted  in  ridiculous 
 terrors,  unworthy  the  belief  of  a  rational  and  religious  creature. 
 
 Their  practices  were  equally  corrupt  with  their  principles,  ^s 
 the  most  extravagant  errors  were  received  among  the  established 
 articles  of  their  faith,  so  the  most  infamous  vices  obtained  in 
 their  practice,  and  were  indulged  not  only  with  impunity,  but  au- 
 thorised by  the  sanction  of  their  laws.  They  stupidly  erected  al- 
 tars to  idols  of  wood  and  stone  ;  paid  divine  honours  to  those  who 
 in  their  lives  had  been  the  greatest  monsters  of  lust  and  cruelty  ; 
 yea,  oft'ered  up  their  sons  and  daughters  as  sacrifices  to  devils. 
 The  principles  of  honour,  the  restraints  of  shame,  the  precepts  of 
 their  philosophers,  were  all  too  weak,  to  keep  their  corruptions 
 within  any  tolerable  bounds.  The  wickedness  of  their  hearts 
 broke  through  every  inclosure,  and  deluged  the  earth  with  rapine 
 and  violence,  blood  auJ  slaughter,  and  all  manner  of  brutish  and 
 detestable  impurities.  It  is  hardly  possible  to  read  the  melan- 
 choly description  of  the  principles  and  manners  of  the  Heathen 
 world,  given  us  by  St.  Paul,  without  horror  and  surprise  ;  to 
 think  that  man,  once  the  "  friend  of  God"  and  "  the  lord  of  this 
 lower  world,"  should  thus  "  deny  the  God  that  made  him,"  and 
 bow  down  lo  dumb  idols,  should  thus,  by  lust  and  intemperance, 
 degrade  himself  into  the  character  of  the  beast,  "which  hath  no 
 understanding ;"  and  by  pride,  malice,  and  revenge,  transform 
 himself  into  the  very  image  of  the  devil,  "who  was  a  murderer 
 from  the  beginning." 
 
 This  was  the  state  of  the  Gentile  nations,  when  the  light  of  the 
 gospel  appeared  to  scatter  the  darkness  that  overspread  the  face 
 of  the  earth.  And  this  has  been  the  case,  so  far  as  has  yet  ap- 
 peared, of  all  the  nations  ever  since,  upon  whom  the  Sun  of  right- 
 eousness has  not  arisen  with  healing  in  his  wings.  Every  new 
 discovered  country  opens  a  new  scene  of  astonishing  ignorance 
 and  barbarity  ;  and  gives  us  fresh  evidence  of  the  universal  cor- 
 ruption of  human  nature. 
 
 II.  I  proceed  now  to  consider  the  compassionate  care  and  kind- 
 ness of  our  blessed  Redeemer  towards  mankind,  in  these  their  de- 
 plorable circumstances.  Ifo  "  sends  out  his  servants"  to  invite 
 them  "to  come  in,"  and  accept  the  entertainm(int  of  his  house, 
 
 God  might  have  left  his  guilty  creatures  to  have  eternally  suf- 
 fered the  dismal  effects  of  their  apostacy,  without  the  least  impu- 
 tation of  injustice,  or  violence  of  his  intinite  perfections.  The  fall 
 was  the  consequence  of  man's  criminal  choice,  and  attended  with 
 the  highest  aggravations.     The  angels  that  sinned  were  made  ex- 
 
AT  BRAINERD'S  ORDINATION.  17 
 
 amples  of  God's  righteous  severity,  and  arc  reserved  ''in  chains" 
 of  guilt  "  to  the  judgnncnt  of  the  i^^reat  day."  Mercy,  that  tender 
 attribute  of  the  divine  nature,  did  not  interpose  in  ^/teir  behalf,  in 
 order  to  suspend  the  execution  of  their  sentence,  or  to  avert  God's 
 threatened  displeasure.  Their  punishment  is  unalterably  de- 
 creed, their  judgment  is  irreversible  ;  they  are  the  awful  monu- 
 ments of  revenging  wrath,  and  are  condemned  "  to  blackness  of 
 darkness  for  ever."  Now  justice  might  have  shewn  the  same  in- 
 flexible severity  to  rebellious  man,  and  have  left  the  universal 
 progeny  of  Adam  to  perish  in  their  guilt  and  misery.  It  was  un- 
 merited mercy  that  distinguished  the  human  race,  in  providing  a 
 Saviour  for  us  ;  and  it  was  the  most  signal  compassion  that  re- 
 vealed the  counsels  of  heaven  for  our  recovery. 
 
 But  though  justice  did  not  oblige  the  divine  Being  to  provide 
 for  our  relief,  yet  the  goodness  of  the  indulgent  Father  of  the  uni- 
 verse inclined  him  to  shew  pity  to  his  guilty  creatures,  who  fell 
 from  their  innocence  through  the  subtlety  and  malice  of  seducing 
 and  apostate  spirits.  It  was  agreeable  to  the  divine  wisdom  to 
 disappoint  the  devices  of  Satan,  the  enemy  of  God  and  goodness, 
 and  recover  the  creatures  he  had  made  from  their  subjection  to 
 the  powers  of  darkness. 
 
 He  therefore  gave  early  discoveries  of  his  designs  of  mercy  to 
 our  first  parents,  and  immediately  upon  the  apostacy  opened  a 
 door  of  hope  for  their  recovery.  He  revealed  a  Saviour  to  the 
 ancient  Patriarchs,  under  dark  types  and  by  distant  promises : 
 made  clearer  declarations  of  his  will,  as  the  appointed  time  drew 
 near,  for  the  accomplishment  of  the  promises,  and  the  manifesta- 
 tion of  the  Son  of  God  in  human  flesh.  "  And  when  the  fulness 
 of  time  was  come,  God  sent  forth  his  Son,  made  of  a  woman, 
 made  under  the  law,  to  redeem  them  that  were  under  the  law, 
 that  he  might  receive  the  adoption  of  sons." 
 
 This  divine  and  illustrious  person  left  the  bosom  of  his  Father, 
 that  he  might  put  on  the  character  of  a  servant ;  descended  from 
 the  glories,  of  heaven,  that  he  might  dwell  on  this  inferior  earth  ; 
 was  made  under  the  law,  that  he  might  fulfil  all  righteousness ; 
 submitted  to  the  infirmities  of  human  nature,  to  the  sorrows  and 
 sufferings  of  an  afflicted  life,  and  to  the  agonies  of  a  painful  igno- 
 minious death  on  a  cross,  that  he  might  destroy  the  power  of  sin, 
 abolish  the  empire  of  death,  and  purchase  immortality  and  glory 
 for  perishing  man. 
 
 While  our  Lord  Jesus  resided  in  this  lower  world,  he  preach- 
 ed the  glad  tidings  of  salvation,  and  published  the  kingdom  of 
 God  ;  confirming  his  doctrine  by  numerous  and  undoubted  mira- 
 cles, and  recommending  his  instructions  by  the  charms  of  a  spot- 
 less life  and  conversation.     He  sent  forth  his  apostles  to  pursue 
 
IB  PEMBERTON^S  SERMON 
 
 Ihc  same  gracious  design  of  gospellizing  the  people,  and  furhislt- 
 ed  them  with  sufficient  powers  to  proselyte  the  nations  to  the 
 faith.  He  also  appointed  a  standing  ministry,  to  carry  on  a  trea- 
 ty of  peace  with  rebellious  sinners,  in  the  successive  ages  of  the 
 church,  to  continue  till  the  number  of  the  redeemed  is  comple- 
 ted, and  the  whole  election  of  grace  placed  in  circumstances  of 
 spotless  purity  and  perfect  happiness. 
 
 These  ministers  arc  styled  "  the  servants  of  Christ,"  by  waj 
 of  eminence;  they  are  in  a  peculiar  manner  devoted  to  the  ser- 
 vice of  their  divine  Master:  from  him  they  receive  their  com- 
 mission; and  by  him  they  are  appointed  to  represent  his  person, 
 preside  in  his  worship,  and  teach  the  laws  of  his  kingdom.  To 
 assume  this  character  without  being  divinely  called,  and  regular- 
 ly introduced  into  this  sacred  office,  is  a  bold  invasion  of  Christ's 
 royal  authority,  and  an  open  violation  of  that  order  which  he  es- 
 talDlished  in  his  church.  These  not  only  derive  their  mission  from 
 Christ,  but  it  is  his  doctrine  they  are  to  preach,  and  not  the  inven- 
 tions of  their  own  brain  ; — it  is  his  glory  they  are  to  promote, 
 and  not  their  own  interest  or  honour.  Their  business  is  not  to 
 propagate  the  designs  of  a  party,  but  the  common  salvation,  and 
 to  "  beseech  all,  in  Christ's  name,  to  be  reconciled  unto  God." 
 
 The  Apostles,  the  primitive  heralds  of  the  everlasting  gospel, 
 were  sent  to  make  the  first  tender  of  salvation  to  "the  lost  sheep 
 of  the  house  of  Israel;"  and  they  were  commanded  to  begin  at 
 Jerusalem,  the  centre  of  the  Jewish  commonwealth.  But  when 
 the  Jews  obstinately  persisted  in  their  impenitence  and  unbelief, 
 they  were  commissioned  "to  preach  the  gospel  to  every  crea- 
 ture under  heaven  :"  the  sinners  of  the  Gentiles  were  invited  to 
 come  in,  and  accept  of  the  offers  of  salvation. 
 
 The  prophets  pointed  out  a  Messiah  that  was  to  come,  and 
 proclaimed  the  joyful  approach  of  a  Redeemer  at  the  time  ap- 
 pointed in  the  sovereign  counsels  of  heaven.  The  ministers  of 
 the  gospel  now  are  sent  to  declare,  that  the  prophecies  are  ac- 
 comphshcd,  the  promise  fulfilled,  justice  satisfied,  salvation  pur- 
 chased ;  and  all  that  will  come  in,  shall  receive  the  blessings  of 
 the  gospel.  They  are  not  only  free  to  invite  sinners  of  all  or- 
 ders and  degrees,  of  all  ages  and  nations;  but  to  assure  them, 
 that  "  all  things  are  now  ready,"  and  to  use  the  most  powerful 
 and  persuasive  methods,  that  they  may  engage  them  to  comply 
 with  the  heavenly  call.  Which  brings  me  to  the  third  thing  pro- 
 prosed,  viz: 
 
 HI.  To  shew,  that  it  is  the  great  duty  of  the  ministers  of  the 
 gospel  "  to  compel  sinners  to  come  in,"  and  accept  of  the  bles- 
 sings of  the  gospel.     This  is  so  plainly  contained  in  my  text,  that 
 
AT  BRAINERD'S  ORDINATION.  19 
 
 1  shall  not  multiply  arguments  to  confirm  it.  My  only  business 
 shall  be  to  explain  the  nature  of  this  compulsion,  or  shew  in  what 
 manner  sinners  are  to  be  "  compelled  to  come  in"  to  the  chris- 
 tian church.  And  sure  I  am,  not  by  the  deceitful  methods  of  fraud 
 and  disguise,  nor  the  inhuman  practices  of  persecution  and  vio- 
 lence. This  text,  indeed,  has  often  been  alleged  by  the  perse- 
 cuting bigots  of  all  ages,  and  applied  to  support  the  cause  of  re- 
 ligious tyrannize  to  the  infinite  scandal  of  the  Christian  name, 
 and  the  unspeakable  detriment  of  the  Christian  interest.  By 
 this  means,  the  enemies  of  our  most  holy  faith  have  been  strength- 
 ened in  their  infidelity,  the  weak  have  been  turned  aside  from 
 "  the  truth  as  it  is  in  Jesus,"  and  the  peaceable  kingdom  of  the 
 Messiah  transformed  into  a  field  of  blood,  a  scene  of  hellish  and 
 horrid  cruelties.  If  this  were  the  compulsion  recommended  in 
 the  gospel,  then  absolute  unrelenting  tyrants  would  be  the  proper 
 and  most  infaUible  teachers;  then  racks  and  tortures  would  be 
 the  genuine  and  most  successful  method  of  propagating  the  faith. 
 But  surely  every  thing  of  this  kind,  every  violent  and  driving 
 measure,  is  in  direct  opposition  to  the  precepts  and  example  of 
 our  blessed  Saviour,  and  contrary  to  the  very  genius  of  his  gos- 
 pel, which  proclaims  "  Glory  to  God  in  the  highest,  on  earth 
 peace,  good  will  towards  men."* 
 
 The  princes  of  this  world  exercise  a  temporal  dominion  over 
 mankind,  and  by  fines  levied  on  their  estates,  and  punishments 
 inflicted  on  their  bodies,  force  men  to  an  outward  subjection  to 
 their  authority  and  government.  But  the  kingdom  of  our  Lord 
 is  of  a  spiritual  nature  ;  he  erects  his  empire  in  the  hearts  of  men, 
 and  reigns  over  "  a  willing  people  in  the  day  of  his  power."  Ex- 
 ternal violence  may  necessitate  men  to  an  external  profession  of 
 the  truth,  and  procure  a  dissembled  compliance  with  the  institu- 
 tions of  Christ;  but  can  never  enlighten  the  darkness  of  the 
 mind,  conquer  the  rebellion  of  the  will,  nor  sanctify  and  save  the 
 soul.  It  may  transfigure  men  into  accomplished  hypocrites ;  but 
 will  never  convert  them  into  real  saints. 
 
 The  gospel  was  originally  propagated  by  the  powerful  preach- 
 ing of  Christ  and  his  apostles,  by  the  astonishing  miracles  which 
 they  wrought  in  confirmation  of  their  doctrine,  and  the  exempla- 
 ry lives  by  which  they  adorned  their  profession  and  character. 
 Instead  of  propagating  their  religion  by  the  destructive  methods 
 of  fire  and  sword,  they  submitted  to  the  rage  and  cruelty  of  a 
 malignant  world  with  surprizing  patience,  and  sacrificed  their 
 very  lives  in  the  cause  of  God,  without  any  intemperate  discove- 
 ries of  anger  and  resentment.     Instead  of  calling  for  "  fire  from 
 
 *  Liikc  ii,  14. 
 
^•0  PEMBERTON'S  SERMON 
 
 heaven"  to  destroy  their  opposers,  they  compassionated  their  ig- 
 norance, instructed  them  with  meekness^  counselled  and  exhorted 
 them  with  "  all  long  sutFering  and  doctrine,"  and  even  spent  their 
 dying  breath  in  praying  for  their  conviction  and  conversion,  that 
 theymight  be  saved  in  the  day  of  the  Lord  Jesus. 
 
 Now,  in  imitation  of  these  primitive  doctors  of  the  Christian 
 church,  these  wise  and  successful  preachers  of  the  gospel,  it  is 
 (he  duty  of  the  ministers  of  the  present  day,  to  use  the  same 
 methods  of  compassion  and  friendly  violence.  A  disinterested 
 zeal  for  the  glory  of  God,  a  steadfast  adherence  to  the  truth,  and 
 unshaken  iidclity  in  our  Master's  cause,  with  universal  benevo- 
 lence to  mankind,  must  constantly  animate  our  public  discourses, 
 and  be  conspicuous  in  our  private  conversation  and  behaviour. 
 We  must  diligently  endeavour  to  convince  the  understandings, 
 engage  the  affections,  and  direct  the  practice  af  our  hearers. 
 Upon  this  head,  it  may  not  be  amiss  to  descend  to  a  few  par- 
 ticulars. 
 
 1.  Ministers  are  to  "compel  sinners  to  come  in,"  by  setting 
 before  them  their  '-guilty  and  perishing  condition  by  nature." 
 Sinners  are  naturally  fond  of  carnal  ease  and  security;  they  are 
 delighted  with  their  pleasant  and  profitable  sins;  they  even 
 "drink  in  iniquity  like  water,"  with  great  greediness,  with  insa- 
 tiable thirst,  and  incessant  gratification,  but  without  fear  or  re- 
 morse. Upon  this  account,  there  is  the  highest  necessity  to 
 sound  an  alarm  in  their  ears,  that  they  may  be  aw^akened,  to  see 
 and  consider  tiieir  dangerous  state ;  or  else  they  will  never  be 
 excited  to  "  flee  from  the  wrath  to  come."  The  secure  sinner  is 
 insensible  of  his  want  of  a  Saviour:  "The  whole  need  not  a 
 physician,  but  they  that  are  sick." 
 
 To  this  end,  the  ministers  of  the  gospel  are  to  set "  the  terrors 
 of  the  Lord"  in  array  against  the  sinner,  and  let  him  hear  the 
 "  thunder  of  divine  curses,"  that  utter  their  voice  against  the 
 unbelieving.  They  are  to  represent  in  the  clearest  light,  and 
 with  the  most  convincing  evidence,  the  evil  of  sin,  and  the  dan- 
 ger to  which  it  exposes ;  that  "  wrath  from  heaven  is  revealed 
 against  all  ungodiipess  and  unrighteousness  of  men  ;"''^  that  the 
 flaming  sword  of  incensed  justice  is  unsheathed,  and  the  arm  of 
 the  Almighty  ready  to  destroy  such  as  are  "going  on  still  in  their 
 trespasses,"  impenitent,  and  secure.  They  are  not  only  thus  to 
 shew  them  their  danger,  but  to  set  before  them  at  the  same  time 
 their  wretched  and  helpless  circumstances; — that  no  human  eye 
 can  successfully  pity  them,  nor  any  created  arm   bring  them  ef- 
 
 Rom.  i.  18. 
 
AT  BRAINERD'S  ORDINATION.  21 
 
 fectual  deliverance  ; — that,  while  in  a  state  of  unregenerate  na- 
 ture, they  are  destitute  of  strength  to  perform  any  acceptable 
 service  to  the  blessed  God,  and  unable  to  hiake  any  adequate 
 satisfaction  to  offended  justice ; — that  indeed  they  can  neither 
 avoid  the  divine  displeasure,  nor  endure  the  punishment  that  is 
 due  to  their  crimes.  Thus,  by  a  faithful  application  of  the  law, 
 and  its  threatenings,  we  should  endeavour,  by  God's- blessing,  to 
 make  way  for  the  reception  of  the  gospel  and  its  promises.  This 
 was  the  wise  method  observed  by  ouj  blessed  Saviour,  the  first 
 preacher  of  the  gospel ;  and  by  the  apostles,  his  inspired  suc- 
 cessors. So  John  the  Baptist,  who  served  as  "  the  morning  star" 
 to  usher  in  the  appearance  of  the  Sun  of  righteousness,"  did 
 thus  "  prepare  the  way  of  the  Lord,"  by  enlightening  the  minds 
 of  men  in  the  knowledge  of  their  guilt  and  misery,  and  inciting 
 them  to  flee  from  the  "  damnation  of  hell."  The  three  thou- 
 sand that  were  converted  to  the  faith  at  one  sermon,  in  the  in- 
 fancy of  the  Christian  church,  were  first  awakened  with  a  sense 
 of  their  aggravated  guilt,  in  "  crucifying  the  Lord  of  glory ;" 
 and  brought  in  agony  and  distress  to  cry  out,  *"  Men  and  breth- 
 ren, what  shall  we  do  ?" 
 
 The  method,  I  confess  is  disagreeable  to  the  sentiments  and 
 inclinations  of  a  secure  world ;  and  may  expose  us  to  the  re- 
 proach of  those  "  that  are  at  ease  in  Zion  :"  but  is  agreeable  to 
 the  dictates  of  an  enlightened  mind,  conformable  to  the  plan  laid 
 down  in  the  sacred  scriptures,  and  has  in  all  ages  approved  itself 
 the  most  successful  method  of  promoting  the  interests  of  real  and 
 vital  religion. 
 
 2.  They  are  to  "  compel  sinners  to  come  in,"  by  a  lively  rep- 
 resentation of  the  power  and  grace  of  our  Almighty  Redeemer^ 
 Not  all  the  thunder  and  terror  of  curses  from  Mount  Ebal,  not 
 all  the  tremendous  "  wrath  revealed  from  heaven  against  the  un- 
 godly," not  all  the  anguish  and  horror  of  a  wounded  spirit  in  au 
 awakened  sinner,  are  able  to  produce  an  unfeigned  and  effectual 
 compliance  with  the  gospel  terms  of  mercy.  The  ministry  of  the 
 law  can  only  give  the  knowledge  of  sin^  rouse  the  sinner's  con- 
 science, and  alarm  his  fears  :  it  is  the  dispensation  of  grace^  that 
 sanctifies  and  saves  the  soul.  Nor  is  the  former  needful,  but  in 
 order  to  the  latter.  So  much  conviction  as  gives  us  a  sight  of 
 our  sin  and  misery,  as  inclines  us  to  "  flee  from  the  wrath  to 
 come,"  and  disposes  us  to  submit  to  the  gospel-method  of  salva- 
 tion "  by  grace  through  faith,"  by  sovereign  mercy  through  the 
 Mediator,  so  much  is  necessary ;  and  more  is  neither  requisite 
 nor  useful,  or  desirable. 
 
 *  Acts  ii,  36,  37, 
 
22  PEMBERTON'S  SERMON 
 
 It  is  not  the  oflice  of  preachers  to  be  perpetually  employed  in 
 the  language  of  terror,  or  exhaust  their  strength  and  zeal  in 
 awakening  and  distressing  subjects.  No ;  but  as  it  is  their  dis- 
 tinguishing character,  that  they  are  ministers  of  the  gospel,  so  it 
 is  their  peculiar  business  to  "  preach  the  unsearchable  riches  of 
 Christ."  The  person,  and  offices,  and  love  of  the  great  Re- 
 deemer, the  merits  of  his  obedience,  and  purchases  of  his  cross, 
 the  victories  of  his  resurrection,  the  triumphs  of  his  ascension, 
 and  prevalence  of  his  intercession,  the  power  of  his  Spirit,  the 
 greatness  of  his  salvation,  the  freeness  of  his  grace,  &:c.;  these 
 are  to  be  the  chosen  and  delightful  subjects  of  their  discourses. 
 They  are  to  represent  him  as  one — who  has  completely  answer- 
 ed the  demands  of  the  law,  rendered  the  Deity  propitious  to  the 
 sinner,  and  upon  this  account  is  able  eternally  to  save  us  from 
 the  vengeance  of  an  offended  God ; — who  is  clothed  with  Al- 
 mighty power,  to  subdue  the  inveterate  habits  of  sin,  sanctify 
 our  polluted  nature,  and  restore  us  to  spiritual  health  and  purity; 
 who  is  Lord  of  the  visible  and  invisible  worlds,  who  knows  how  to 
 defeat  the  most  artful  devices  of  Satan,  and  will  finally  render 
 his  people  victorious  over  their  most  malicious  and  implacable  ad- 
 versaries ; — who  having  ''  made  reconciliation  for  iniquity"  upon 
 the  cross,  is  pleading  the  merits  of  his  blood  in  heaven,  and  pow- 
 erfully interceding  for  all  suitable  blessings  in  behalf  of  his  peo- 
 ple;— "who  is  there  exalted  as  a  Prince  and  a  Saviour  to  give 
 repentance  and  remission  of  sins  •*  and  is  able  to  save  unto  the 
 uttermost  all  those  that  come  to  God  in  and  through  him  ;"t — in 
 fme,  who  from  his  illustrious  throne  in  glory,  stoops  to  look  down 
 with  pity  upon  guilty  and  perishing  sinners,  stretches  forth  the 
 sceptre  of  grace,  and  opens  the  everlasting  arms  of  his  mercy  to 
 receive  them.  These  peculiar  doctrines  of  the  gospel  they  are 
 frequently  to  teach,  upon  these  they  are  to  dwell  with  constant 
 pleasure,  that  sinners  may  be  persuaded  to  hearken  to  the  invi- 
 ting voice  of  divine  love,  and  put  their  trust  in  this  almighty  and 
 compassionate  Saviour.     In  order  to  which, 
 
 3.  They  are  to  shew  sinners  the  mighty  encouragement,  that 
 the  gospel  gives  them  to  accept  of  Christ,  and  salvation  through 
 his  merits  and  righteousness.  As  for  ignor^mt  presiimers,  these 
 hear  the  glad  tidings  of  the  gospel  with  a  fatal  indifTerence ;  and 
 say  in  their  hearts,  ''  they  shall  have  peace,"  though  they  go  on  in 
 their  evil  way,  stupidly  "neglecting  so  great  salvation,"  and  re- 
 gardless of  eternal  things.  But  awakened  minds  are  rather  apt 
 to  draw  the  darkest  conclusions  with  respect  to  their  case,  and  to 
 judge  themselves   excluded   from  the  invitations  of  the  gospej. 
 
 »  Acts  V.  31.  tHeb.  vi=.  25. 
 
AT  BRAINERD'S  ORDINATION.  23 
 
 Sometimes  they  imagine  that  the  numher  and  aggravations  of  their 
 sins  exceed  the  designs  of  pardoning  mercy: — at  other  times,  that 
 they  have  so  long  resisted  the  heavenly  call,  that  now  the  gate 
 of  heaven  is  irrecoverably  barred  against  them : — and  satan  fur- 
 ther suggests,  that  it  would  be  the  height  of  presumption  in  them 
 to  lay  claim  to  the  blessings  of  the  gospel,  till  better  prepared  for 
 the  divine  reception.  Upon  such  imaginary  and  false  grounds  as 
 these,  multitudes  of  the  invited  guests  make  excuses,  and  exclude 
 themselves  from  the  "marriage  supper  of  the  Lamb."  It  is 
 therefore  the  business  of  the  servants  of  Christ  to  shew  that 
 "  there  is  yet  room,"  even  for  the  greatest  and  vilest  sinners  to 
 come  in,  and  partake  of  the  gospel-festival ;  that  "  all  things  are 
 now  ready,"  for  their  welcome  entertainment; — that  the  door  is 
 still  open,  and  there  is  free  access,  not  only  for  those  who  have 
 escaped  the  grossest  pollutions  of  the  world,  but  even  "  for  the 
 chief  of  sinners,"  whose  guilt  is  of  a  crimson  colour  and  a  scarlet 
 dye  ;  that  neither  the  number  nor  aggravations  of  their  iniquities 
 will  exclude  them  a  share  in  the  divine  mercy,  if  now  they  sub- 
 mit to  the  sceptre  of  grace; — that  whatever  their  condition  and 
 circumstances  may  be,  it  is  of  present  obligation  upon  them  to 
 accept  the  gospel-call,  and  their  instant  duty  to  come  in;  the 
 Master  invites  them  "  to  come  to  him,  that  they  may  have  life;" 
 and  "whosoever  do  so,"  the  Master  of  the  house  assures  them, 
 that  "  he  will  in  no  wise  cast  them  out.*" 
 
 4.  They  are  to  exhibit  the  unspeakable  advantages  that  will 
 attend  a  compliance  with  the  gospel  call.  I  know,  indeed,  the 
 religion  of  Jesus  is  by  its  enemies  often  represented  in  the  most 
 frightful  and  hideous  colours;  particularly  as  laying  an  unreasonable 
 restraint  on  the  liberties  of  mankind,  and  sinking  them  into  melan- 
 choly enthusiasts.  It  becomes  us,  therefore,  who  are  "  set  for  the 
 defence  of  the  gospel,"  to  endeavour  the  removing  of  this  ground- 
 less prejudice,  and  to  convince  mankind  by  the  light  of  reason  and 
 scripture,  that  "  the  ways  of  wisdom  are  ways  of  pleasantness, 
 and  all  her  paths  are  peace:"  that  verily  a  hfe  of  faith  in  the 
 blessed  Redeemer  is  the  way  to  be  happy,  both  here  and  here- 
 after. 
 
 Oh,  what  more  honorable  than  to  be  "  a  child  of  God,  an  heir 
 of  the  kingdom  of  heaven !"  What  more  pleasing  than  to  look 
 back,  and  behold  our  past  iniquities  all  buried  in  the  depths  of 
 eternal  oblivion; — than  to  look  forward  and  view  our  dear  Sav- 
 iour acknowledging  us  his  friends  and  favourites,  and  adjudging 
 us  to  a  state  of  unperishing  glory?  What  more  advantageous  than 
 to  have  the  divine  favour  engaged  for  our  protection,  the  prom- 
 
 *  John  vi.  n. 
 
24  PEMBERTON'S  SERMON 
 
 ises  of  divine  grace  for  our  consolation,  and  an  assured  title  lo 
 "an  inheritance  undcfiled,  incorruptible,  and  eternal  ?"  This  is 
 the  portion  of  the  true  believer.  These  the  privileges  that  attend 
 a  compliance  with  the  gospel-call. 
 
 These  things  are  to  be  represented  in  such  a  manner  as  may 
 tend  to  raptivate  the  hearts  of  men,  and  engage  them  in  a  solicit- 
 ous care  and  resolution  to  renounce  the  degrading  servitude  of 
 sin,  and  resign  themselves  to  the  power  of  redeeming  grace. 
 Thus  by  the  most  effectual  and  persuasive  methods,  the  ministers 
 of  Jesus  are  to  compel  sinners  "  to  come  in,  that  his  house  may  be 
 filled." 
 
 It  was  not  in  my  design,  to  consider  the  duty  of  the  ministry  in 
 its  just  extent;  but  only  to  insist  upon  those  things  that  more 
 properly  belong  to  my  subject,  and  lie  directly  in  the  view  of  my 
 text. — It  will  now  doubtless  be  expected,  that  I  apply  my  dis- 
 course more  immediately  to  the  present  occasion. 
 
 And  suffer  me,  dear  Sir,  in  the  first  place,  to  address  myself 
 to  you,  who  are  this  day  coming  under  a  public  consecration  to 
 the  service  of  Christ,  "  to  bear  his  name  among  the  Gentiles  ;  to 
 whom  the  Master  is  now  sending  you  forth,  to  compel  them  to 
 come  in,  that  his  house  may  be  filled."  We  trust  you  are  a  cho- 
 sen vessel,  designed  for  extensive  service  in  this  honourable, 
 though  difficult  employment.  We  adore  the  God  of  nature,  who 
 has  furnished  you  with  such  endowments  as  suit  you  to  this  im- 
 portant charge.  We  adore  the  great  Head  of  the  Church  for 
 the  nobler  gifts  and  graces  of  his  Spirit;  by  which,  we  trust,  you 
 are  enabled  to  engage  in  this  mission  with  an  ardent  love  to  God, 
 the  universal  Father  of  mankind,  with  a  disinterested  zeal  for 
 the  honour  of  Christ,  the  compassionate  friend  of  sinners,  and 
 with  tender  concern  for  the  perishing  souls  of  a  "  people  that  sit 
 in  darkness,  and  in  the  shadow  of  death;"  who  have  for  many 
 ages  been  wandering  out  of  the  way  of  salvation,  "  without  Christ, 
 and  without  God  in  the  world." 
 
 The  work  of  the  ministry,  in  every  place,  has  its  difficulties 
 and  dangers,  and  requires  much  wisdom,  fortitude,  patience,  and 
 self-denial,  to  discharge  it  in  a  right  manner,  with  an  encouraging 
 prospect  of  success:  but  greater  degrees  of  prudence,  humility, 
 and  meekness,  mortification  to  the  present  world,  holy  courage, 
 and  zeal  for  the  honour  of  God  our  Saviour,  arc  necessary  where 
 any  are  called  to  minister  the  gospel  unto  those  who,  through  a 
 long  succession  of  ages  have  dwelt  in  the  darkness  of  Heath- 
 enism, have  from  their  infancy  imbibed  inveterate  prejudices 
 against  the  Christian  faith,  and  from  time  immemorial  been  inured 
 
AT  BRAINERD'S  ORDINATION.  25 
 
 to  many  superstitious  and  idolatrous  practices,  directly  opposite 
 to  the  nature  and  design  of  the  gospel. 
 
 What  heavenly  skill  is  required,  to  convey  the  supernatural 
 mysteries  of  the  gospel  into  the  minds  of  uninstructed  Pagans, 
 who  are  "a  people  of  a  strange  speech  and  hard  language?" — 
 What  deep  stlf-dmial  is  necessary,  to  enable  you  cheerfully  to 
 forsake  the  pleasures  of  your  native  countr}',  with  the  agreeable 
 society  of  your  friends  and  acquaintance,  to  dwell  among  those 
 who  inhabit  not  indeed  "the  high-ways  and  hedges,"  but  unculti- 
 vated desarts,  and  the  remotest  recesses  of  the  wilderness  ?— 
 What  unwearied  zeal  and  diligence^  to  proselyte  those  to  the  faith 
 of  the  gospel,  who  have  quenched  the  light  of  reason,  and  by 
 their  inhuman  and  barbarous  practices  have  placed  themselves 
 upon  a  level  with  the  brute  creation  ? 
 
 Methinks  I  hear  you  crying  out,  "who  is  sufficient  for  these 
 things!" — And  indeed,  if  you  had  no  strength  to  depend  upon 
 but  your  own, — no  encouragement  but  from  human  assistance, 
 you  might  justly  sink  down  in  despair  and  utter  the  passionate 
 language  of  iMoses,  "  O  my  Lord,  send,  I  pray  thee,  by  the 
 hand  of  him  whom  thou  wilt  send:"  thy  servant  is  insufficient  for 
 so  great  a  work. — But  it  is  at  the  command  of  Christ,  the  great 
 Head  of  the  Church,  that  you  go  forth  ;  who  by  a  train  of  sur- 
 prising providences,  has  been  preparing  your  way  for  this  impor- 
 tant embassy ;  and  therefore  you  may  be  assured,  that  he  will 
 support  you  in  a  faithful  discharge  of  your  duty,  accept  your  un- 
 feigned desires  to  promote  the  interests  of  bis  kingdom,  and  fi- 
 nally reward  your  imperfect  services  with  his  gracious  approba- 
 tion. You  have  his  divine  promise  for  your  security  and  conso- 
 lation ;  "Lo!  I  am  with  you  alway.  even  to  the  end  of  the 
 world."  This  will  afford  you  light  in  every  darkness,  defence  in 
 every  danger,  strength  in  every  weakness,  and  a  final  victory 
 oVer  every  temptation.  If  Christ  be  with  you,  "in  vain  do  the 
 Heathen  rage,"  in  vain  will  their  confederated  tribes  unite  their 
 forces  to  obstruct  and  discourage  you.  Infinite  wisdom  will  be 
 your  guide,  almighty  power  your  shield,  and  God  himself  "your 
 exceeding  great  reward."  The  presence  of  your  divine  Master 
 will  make  amends  for  the  absence  of  your  dearest  friends  and 
 relatives.  This  will  transform  a  wild  and  uncultivated  desart 
 into  a  paradise  of  joy  and  pleasure  :  and  the  lonely  huts  of 
 savages  into  more  delightful  habitations  than  the  palaces  of 
 princes. 
 
 Let  not  then  any  difficulties  discourage,  any  dangers  affright 
 you.  Go  forth  in  the  name  and  strength  of  the  Lord  Jesus,  to 
 whom  you  are  now  to  be  devoted  in  the  sacred  office  of  the  min- 
 istry.    "Be   not  ashamed  of  the   2:ospel   of  Christ ;  for  it  is  the 
 
 4 
 
26  PEMBERTON'S  SERMON 
 
 power  of  God  unto  salvation  to  every  one  that  believeth,  to  the 
 Jew  first,  and  also  to  the  Gentile."  Let  zeal  for  the  honour  of 
 God,  and  compassion  for  the  souls  of  men,  animate  your  pubhc 
 discourses  and  private  addresses  to  the  people  committed  to  your 
 tharjre.  Always  remember,  that  your  character  is  a  minister  of 
 Jesus;  and  therefore  with  the  inspired  doctor  of  the  Gentiles, 
 you  "  are  to  know  nothing  among  them,  save  Christ,  and  him 
 crucified."  Frequently  consider,  that  the  gospel  is  a  divine  dis- 
 cipline to  purify  the  heart,  and  set  up  the  kingdom  of  the  Re- 
 deemer in  the  souls  of  men:  and  therefore  it  is  not  sufficient  to 
 bring  sinners  to  a  profession  of  the  name  of  Christ,  and  an  out- 
 ward subjection  to  the  institutions  of  divine  worship  :  "  You  are 
 sent  to  turn  them  from  darkness  to  light,  and  from  the  power  of 
 Satan  unto  God,  that  they  may  receive  forgiveness  of  sins,  and 
 an  inheritance  among  them  that  are  sanctified  by  faith  that  is  in 
 Christ."  Unless  this  be  elFected,  (whatever  other  improvements 
 they  gain,)  they  are  left  under  the  dominion  of  sin,  and  exposed 
 to  the  wrath  of  God  ;  and  their  superior  degrees  of  knowledge 
 will  only  serve  to  light  them  down  to  the  regions  of  death  and 
 misery.  This  then  is  to  be  the  principal  design  of  your  ministry: 
 for  this  you  are  to  labour  with  unwearied  application,  and  with 
 incessant  importunity  to  approach  the  throne  of  that  God, 
 whose  peculiar  prerogative  it  is  "  to  teach  us  to  profit ;"  whose 
 grace  alone  can  make  them  "a  willing  people  in  the  day  of  his 
 power." 
 
 And  for  your  encouragement,  I  will  only  add  :  When  I  con- 
 sider the  many  prophecies,  in  sacred  scripture,  of  the  triumphant 
 progress  of  the  gospel  in  the  last  ages  of  the  world,  I  cannot 
 but  lift  vp  my  head  with  joy^  in  an  humble  expectation,  that  the 
 day  draws  near,  yea,  is  even  at  hand,  when  the  promises  made  to 
 the  Son  of  God  shall  be  more  illustriously  fulfilled  : — ''  when  he 
 shall  have  the  Heathen  for  his  inheritance,  and  the  utmost  parts 
 of  the  earth  for  his  possession ;  when  his  name  shall  be  great 
 among  the  Gentiles,  and  be  honoured  and  adored  from  the  rising 
 of  the  sun  to  the  going  down  of  the  same."  But  if  the  appoint- 
 ed time  is  not  yet  come,  and  the  attempts  made  to  introduce  this 
 glorious  day,  fail  of  desired  success,  ''  your  judgment  will  be 
 with  the  Lord,  and  your  reward  with  your  God."  If  the  Gen- 
 tiles "  be  not  gathered"  in,  you  will  "  be  glorious  in  the  eyes  of 
 the  Lord,"  who  accepts  and  rewards  his  servants  according  to 
 the  sincerity  of  their  desires,  and  not  according  to  the  success  of 
 their  endeavours. 
 
 I  shall  conclude  with  a  few  words  to  the  body  of  the  people. 
 (jlod  our  Saviour,  in  infinite  condescension,  hath  sent  his  servants 
 to  invite  you  to   come  in,  and   receive  the   blessings  which  infi- 
 
AT  BRAINERD'S  ORDINATION.  27 
 
 nite  wisdom  has  contrived,  and  astonishing  grace  prepared  for 
 3^our  entertainment.  And  surely,  my  brethren,  it  is  your  impor- 
 tant duty  and  incomparable  interest,  not  to  despise  "  the  salva- 
 tion of  God  sent  unto  the  Gentiles,"  nor  make  light  of  the  gospel 
 message  to  you. 
 
 God  has  been  pleased  to  employ  us  the  messengers  of  his  grace, 
 men  of  like  passions  with  yourselves,  subject  to  the  common  in- 
 firmities of  human  nature:  but  the  message  comes  from  him,  who 
 is  King  of  kings  and  Lord  of  lords  ;  whom  you  are  under  the 
 strongest  obligations  to  hear  and  obey,  in  point  of  interest,  grati- 
 tude, and  dutj . 
 
 What  gracious  and  condescending  methods  has  he  taken  to 
 allure  and  invite  you !  has  he  not  descended  from  heaven  to 
 earth;  from  the  boundless  glories  of  eternity  to  all  the  sufferings 
 and  affictions  of  this  mortal  life,  that  he  might  purchase  and  re- 
 veal salvation  ;  that  he  might  engage  your  love,  and  persuade 
 you  to  comply  with  his  saving  designs  ?  Does  he  not  send  his 
 "ambassadors  to  beseech  you  in  his  stead,  to  be  reconciled  to 
 God  ?" 
 
 What  excuses  have  you  to  make,  that  will  stand  the  trial  of 
 an  enlightened  conscience,  or  justify  you  at  the  awful  tribunal  of 
 God?  will  the  vanishing  enjoyments  of  sin  and  sense,  or  the  per- 
 ishing riches  of  this  transitory  world,  make  amends  for  the  loss 
 of  the  divine  favour,  or  support  you  under  the  terrors  of  eternal 
 damnation  ? — Are  there  any  honours  comparable  to  the  dignity 
 and  character  of  a  child  of  God,  and  a  title  to  the  privileges  of 
 his  house  and  family  ?  Are  there  any  pleasures  equal  to  the  smiles 
 of  God's  reconciled  face,  the  refreshing  visits  of  his  love,  and 
 the  immortal  joys  of  his  salvation  F 
 
 But  how  deplorable,  how  desperate  will  be  your  case,  if  you 
 finally  refuse  the  gospel-invitation,  and  perish  in  your  natural 
 state  of  guilt  and  misery  ?  the  compassionate  Jesus,  who  now 
 addresses  you  in  the  inviting  language  of  love,  will  then  speak  to 
 you  with  the  voice  of  terror,  and  "swear  in  his  wrath,  that  you 
 shall  never  enter  into  his  rest,  that  you  shall  never  taste  of  his 
 supper,"  the  rich  provision  which  he  has  made  for  the  eternal 
 entertainment  of  his  guests.  "  When  once  the  Master  of  the 
 house  is  risen  up,  and  hath  shut  to  the  door,"  you  will  in  vain 
 stand  without  and  knock  for  admission. 
 
 In  a  word,  J^ow,  he  declares  by  his  servants,  that  "all  things 
 are  ready,"  and  all  that  are  bidden  shall  be  welcome,  upon  their 
 coming  in,  to  be  partakers  of  the  benefit.  The  blood  of  Christ  is 
 now  ready,  to  cleanse  you  from  all  your  guilt  and  pollution  ;  his 
 righteousness  is  now  ready  to  adorn  your  naked  souls  with  the  gar- 
 ment of  salvation ;  his  Spirit  is  now  ready  to  take  possession  of 
 
^8  PEMBERTON'S  SERMON,  kc 
 
 you,  and  make  you  eternal  monuments  of  victorious  and  redeem- 
 ing grace.  "  Tlie  Spirit  and  the  bride  say,  Come  ;  and  whosoever 
 (of  the  lost  and  perishing  sons  of  Adam)  will,  let  him  come," 
 and  participate  of  the  blessings  of  the  gospel  "freely,  without 
 money,  and  without  price."  The  arms  of  everlasting  mercy  are 
 open  to  receive  you  :  the  treasures  of  divine  grace  are  open  to 
 supply  your  wants  :  and  every  one  of  you  that  now  sincerely  ac- 
 cepts this  gracious  invitation,  shall  hereafter  be  admitted  "  to  sit 
 down  with  Abraham,  Isaac,  and  Jacob,  in  the  kingdom  of  heav- 
 en."  For  which,  God  of  his  infinite   mercy  prepare  us  all, 
 
 through  Jesus  Christ :  to  whom  be  glory  and  dominion  world 
 without  end.     Amen. 
 
PREFACE. 
 
 There  are  two  ways  of  recommending  true  religion  and  virtue  io 
 the  world:  the  one,  by  doctrine  and  precept;  the  other  by  history  and 
 example.  Both  are  abundantly  used  in  the  holy  scriptures.  Not  only 
 are  the  grounds,  nature,  design,  and  importance  of  religion. clearly  ex- 
 hibited in  the  doctrines  of  scripture — its  exercise  and  practice  plainly 
 dehneated,  and  abundantly  enforced,  in  its  commands  and  counsels — 
 but  there  we  have  many  excellent  examples  of  religion,  in  its  power 
 and  practice,  set  before  us,  in  the  histories  both  of  the  Old  and  New 
 Testament. 
 
 Jesus  Christ,  the  great  Prophet  of  God,  when  he  came  to  be  "  the 
 light  of  the  world," — to  teach  and  enforce  true  religion,  in  a  greater 
 degree  than  ever  had  been  done  before — made  use  of  both  these 
 methods.  In  his  doctrine,  he  not  only  declared  more  fully  the  mind 
 and  will  of  God — the  nature  and  properties  of  that  virtue,  which  be- 
 comes creatures  of  our  constitution,  and  in  our  circumstances,  and 
 more  powerfully  enforced  it  by  exhibiting  the  obligations  and  induce- 
 ments to  holiness;  but  he  also  in  his  own  practice  gave  a  most  perfect  ex- 
 ample of  the  virtue  which  he  taught.  He  exhibited  to  the  world  such  an 
 illustrious  pattern  of  humihty,  divine  love,  discreet  zeal,  self-denial, 
 obedience,  patience,  resignation,  fortitude,  meekness,  forgiveness,  com- 
 passion, benevolence,  and  universal  holiness,  as  neither  men  nor  an- 
 gels ever  saw  before. 
 
 God  also  in  his  providence,  has  been  wont  to  make  use  of  both  these 
 methods  to  hold  forth  light  to  mankind,  and  inducements  to  their  duty, 
 in  all  ages.  He  has  from  time  to  time  raised  up  eminent  teachers,  to 
 exhibit  and  bear  testimony  to  the  truth  by  their  doctrine,  and  to  op- 
 pose the  errors,  darkness,  and  wickedness  of  the  world;  and  he  has  also 
 raised  up  some  eminent  persons  who  have  set  bright  examples  of  that 
 religion  which  is  taught  and  prescribed  in  the  word  of  God;  whose  ex- 
 amples have,  in  the  course  of  divine  providence,  been  set  forth  to  pub- 
 lic view.  These  have  a  great  tendency  both  to  engage  the  attention 
 of  men  to  the  doctrines  and  rules  taught,  and  also  to  confirm  and  en- 
 force them;  especially  when  these  bright  examples  have  been  exhibit- 
 ed in  the  same  persons  who  have  been  eminent  teachers.  Hereby  the 
 world  has  had  opportunity  to  see  a  confirmation  of  the  truth,  efficacy, 
 and  amiableness  of  the  religion  taught,  in  the  practice  of  the  same  per- 
 sons who  have  most  clearly  and  forcibly  taught  it;  and  above  all,  when 
 these  bright  examples  have  been  set  by  eminent  teachers,  in  a  variety 
 of  unusual  circumstances  of  remarkable  trial;  and  when  God  has  with- 
 
30  PREFACE. 
 
 al,  remarkably  distinguished  them  with  wonderful  success  of  their  in- 
 structions and  labours. 
 
 Such  an  instance  we  have  in  the  excellent  person  whose  life  is  pub- 
 lished in  the  following  pages.  His  example  is  attended  with  a  great 
 variety  of  circumstances  calculated  to  engage  the  attention  of  religious 
 people,  especially  in  America.  He  was  a  man  of  distinguished  talents, 
 as  all  are  sensible,  who  knew  him.  As  a  minister  of  the  gospel,  he 
 was  called  to  unusual  services  in  that  work;  and  his  ministry  was  at- 
 tended with  very  remarkable  and  unusual  events.  His  course  of  reli- 
 gion began  before  the  late  times  of  extraordinary  religious  commotion; 
 yet  he  was  not  im  idle  spectator,  but  had  a  near  concern  in  many  things 
 that  passed  at  that  time.  He  had  a  very  extensive  acquaintance  with 
 those  who  have  been  the  subjects  of  the  late  religious  operations,  in 
 places  far  distant,  in  people  of  different  nations,  education,  manners, 
 and  customs.  He  had  a  peculiar  opportunity  of  acquaintance  with 
 the  false  appearances  and  counterfeits  of  religion;  was  the  instrument 
 of  a  most  remarkable  awakening,  a  wonderful  and  abiding  alteration 
 and  moral  transformation  of  subjects,  who  peculiarly  render  the  change 
 rare  and  astonishing. 
 
 In  the  following  account,  the  reader  will  have  an  opportunity  to  see, 
 not  only  what  were  the  external  circumstances  and  remarkable  incidents 
 of  the  life  of  this  person,  and  how  he  spent  his  time  from  day  to  day, 
 as  to  his  external  behaviour  but  also  what  passed  in  his  own  heart. 
 Here  he  will  see  the  wonderful  change  he  experienced  in  his  mind  and 
 disposition;  the  manner  in  which  that  change  was  brought  to  pass;  how 
 it  continued;  and  what  were  its  consequences  in  his  inward  frames,, 
 thoughts,  affections,  and  secret  exercises,  through  many  vicissitudes 
 and  trials,  for  more  than  eight  years. 
 
 He  will  also  see  his  sentiments,  frame,  and  behaviour,  during  a  long 
 season  of  the  gradual  and  sensible  approach  of  death;  and  what  were 
 the  effects  of  his  religion  in  the  last  stages  of  his  illness.  The  account 
 being  written,  the  reader  may  have  opportunity  at  his  leisure  to  com- 
 pare the  various  parts  of  the  story,  and  deliberately  to  view  and  weigh 
 the  whole,  and  consider  how  far  what  is  related,  is  agreeable  to  the  dic- 
 tates of  reason,  and  the  Word  of  God. 
 
 I  am  far  from  supposing,  that  Brainerd's  inward  exercises  or  his  ex- 
 ternal conduct,  were  free  from  all  imperfections.  The  example  of 
 Jesus  Christ,  is  the  only  perfect  example  that  ever  existed  in  human 
 nature.  It  is,  therefore,  a  rule  by  which  to  try  all  other  examples; 
 and  the  dispositions,  frames,  and  practices  of  others,  must  be  commen- 
 ded and  followed  no  further,  than  they  were  followers  of  Christ. 
 
 There  is  one  thing  in  Brainerd,  easily  discernible  by  the  following 
 account  of  his  life,  which  may  be  called  an  imperfection  in  him,  which, 
 though  not  properly  an  imperfection  of  a  moral  nature,  yet,  may  pos- 
 sibly be  made  an  objection  against  the  extraordinary  appearances  of  re- 
 ligion and  devotion  in  him,  by  such  as  seek  for  objections  against  every 
 thing  that  can  be  produced  in  favour  of  true,  vital  religion;  I  refer  to 
 ihe  fact,  that  he  was,  by  his  constitution  and  natural  temper,  so  prone 
 
PREFACE.  31 
 
 to  melancholy,  and  dejection  of  spirit.  There  are  some,  who  think  that 
 all  religion  is  a  melancholy  thing;  and  that  what  is  called  Christian  ex- 
 perience is  little  else  besides  melancholy  vapours,  disturbing  the  brain, 
 and  exciting  enthusiastic  imaginations.  But  that  Brainerd's  temper, 
 or  constitution  inclined  him  to  despondency,  is  no  just  ground  to  sus- 
 pect his  extraordinary  devotion  to  have  been  only  the  fruit  of  a  warm 
 imagination.  All  who  have  well  observed  mankind,  will  readily  grant 
 that  many  of  those  who  by  their  natural  constitution  or  temper,  are 
 most  disposed  to  dejection,  are  not  the  most  susceptive  of  lively  and 
 strong  impressions  on  their  imagination,  or  the  most  subject  to  those 
 vehement  affections,  which  are  the  fruits  of  such  impressions.  Many, 
 who  are  of  a  very  gay  and  sanguine  natural  temper  are  vastly  more  so; 
 and  if  their  affections  are  turned  into  a  religious  channel,  are  much 
 more  exposed  to  enthusiasm,  than  many  of  the  former.  As  to  Brain- 
 ERD  notwithstanding  his  inclination  to  despondency,  he  was  evidently 
 one  of  those  who  usually  are  the  farthest  from  a  teeming  imagination ; 
 being  of  a  penetrating  genius,  of  clear  thought,  of  close  reasoning,  and  a 
 very  exact  judgment;  as  all  know  who  knew  him.  As  he  had  a  great  in- 
 sight into  human  nature,  and  was  very  discerning  and  judicious  in  gene- 
 ral; so  he  excelled  in  his  judgment  and  knowledge  in  divinity,  but  es- 
 pecially in  experimental  religion.  He  most  accurately  distinguished 
 between  real,  solid  piety,  and  enthusiasm;  between  those  affections 
 that  are  rational  and  scriptural — having  their  foundation  in  light  and 
 judgment — and  those  that  are  founded  in  whimsical  conceits,  strong  im- 
 pressions on  the  imagination,  and  vehement  emotions  of  the  animal  spir- 
 its. He  was  exceedingly  sensible  of  men's  exposedness  to  these  things; 
 how  much  they  had  prevailed,  and  what  multitudes  had  been  deceived 
 by  them;  of  their  pernicious  consequences,  and  the  fearful  mischief  they 
 had  done  in  the  Christian  world.  He  greatly  abhorred  such  a  reli- 
 gion, and  was  abundant  in  bearing  testimony  against  it,  living  and  d}'- 
 ing;  and  was  quick  to  discern  when  any  thing  of  that  nature  arose, 
 though  in  its  first  buddings,  and  appearing  under  the  most  fair  and  plau- 
 sible disguises.  He  had  a  talent  for  describing  the  various  workings  of 
 this  imaginary  enthusiastic  religion — evincing  its  falseness  and  vanity, 
 and  demonstrating  the  great  difference  between  this,  and  true  spiritual 
 devotion — which  I  scarcely  ever  knew  equalled  in  any  person. 
 
 His  judiciousness  did  not  only  appear  in  distinguishing  among  the  ex- 
 periences of  others,  but  also  among  the  various  exercises  of  his  ozcn 
 mind;  particularly  in  discerning  what  within  himself  was  to  be  laid  to 
 the  score  of  melancholy;  in  which  he  exceeded  all  melancholy  persons 
 that  ever  I  was  acquainted  with.  This  was  doubtless  owing  to  a  pe- 
 culiar strength  in  his  judgment;  for  it  is  a  rare  thing  indeed,  that  mel- 
 ancholy people  are  sensible  of  their  own  disease,  and  convinced  that 
 such  things  are  to  be  ascribed  to  it,  as  are  its  genuine  operations  and 
 fruits.  Brainerd  did  not  obtain  that  degree  of  skill  at  once,  but  gradu- 
 ally; as  the  reader  may  discern  by  the  following  account  of  his  life. 
 In  the  former  part  of  his  religious  course,  he  imputed  much  of  that 
 kind  of  gloominess  of  mind,  and  those  dnrk  thoughts,  to  spiritual  de- 
 
32  PREFACE. 
 
 sertion  which  in  the  latter  part  of  his  life,  he  was  abundantly  sensible, 
 were  owing  to  the  disease  of  melancholy;  accordingly  he  often  ex- 
 pressly speaks  of  them  in  his  diary,  as  arising  from  this  cause.  He  of- 
 ten in  conversation  spoke  of  tiie  difference  between  melancholy,  and 
 godly  sorrow,  true  humiliation,  atid  spiritual  discretion,  and  the  great 
 danger  of  mistaking  the  one  for  the  other,  and  the  very  hurtful  nature 
 of  melancholy;  discoursing  with  great  judgment  upon  it,  and  doubtless 
 much  more  judiciously  for  what  ho  knew  by  his  own  experience. 
 
 But  not  to  argue  from  Brainerd's  strength  of  judgment  merely,  it 
 is  apparent  in/acr,  that  he  was  not  a  person  of  a  warm  imagination. 
 His  inward  experiences,  whether  in  his  convictions  or  his  conversion, 
 and  his  religious  views  and  impressions  through  the  course  of  his  life, 
 were  not  excited  by  strong  and  lively  images  formed  in  his  imagination; 
 nothing  at  all  appears  of  it  in  his  diary  horn  beginning  to  end.  He  told 
 me  on  his  death-bed,  that  although  once,  when  he  was  very  young  in 
 years,  and  experience,  he  was  deceived  into  a  high  opinion  of  such 
 things — looking  on  them  as  superior  attainments  in  religion,  beyond  what 
 he  had  ever  arrived  at — was  ambitious  of  them,  and  earnestly  sought 
 them;  yet  he  never  could  obtain  them.  He  moreover  declared,  that 
 he  never  in  his  life  had  a  strong  impression  on  his  imagination,  of  any 
 outward  form,  external  glory,  or  any  thing  of  that  nature;  which  kind 
 of  impressions  abound  among  enthusiastic  people. 
 
 As  Brainerd's  religious  impressions,  views,  and  affections  in  their 
 )ja^?tre  were  vastly  different  from  enthusiasm;  so  were  their  e/Tects  in 
 him  as  contrary  to  it  as  possible.  Nothing,  like  enthusiasm,  puffs  men 
 up  with  a  high  conceit  of  their  own  wisdom,  holiness,  eminence,  and 
 sufhciency;  and  makes  them  so  bold,  forward,  assuming,  and  arrogant. 
 But  the  reader  will  see  that  Brainerd's  religion  constantly  disposed 
 him  to  a  most  humble  estimation  of  himself,  an  abasing  sense  of  his 
 own  sinfulness,  unprofitableness,  and  ignorance;  looking  on  himself 
 as  worse  than  others;  disposing  him  to  universal  benevolence  and 
 meekness;  in  honour  to  prefer  others,  and  to  treat  all  with  kindness 
 and  respect.  And  when  melancholy  prevailed,  and  though  the  effects 
 of  it  were  very  prejudicial  to  him,  yet  it  had  not  the  effects  of  enthu- 
 siasm; hut  operated  by  dark  and  discouraging  thoughts  of  himself,  as 
 ignorant,  wicked,  and  wholly  unfit  for  the  work  of  the  ministry,  or  even 
 to  be  among  mankind.  Indeed,  at  the  time  just  mentioned,  when  he 
 had  not  learned  well  to  distinguish  between  enthusiasm  and  solid  reli- 
 gion, he  joined,  and  kept  company  with  some  who  were  tinged  with  no 
 small  degree  of  the  former.  For  a  season,  lie  partook  with  them  in  a 
 degree,  of  their  dispositions  and  behaviours;  though,  as  was  observed 
 before,  he  could  not  obtain  those  things  wherein  their  enthusiasm  itself 
 consisted,  and  so  could  not  become  like  them  in  that  respect,  however 
 he  erroneously  desired  and  sought  it.  But  certainly  it  is  not  at  all  to  be 
 wondered  at,  that  a  youth,  a  young  convert,  one  who  had  his  heart  so 
 swallowed  up  in  religion,  and  who  so  earnestly  desired  its  flourishing 
 state — and  who  had  so  little  opportunity  for  reading,  observation,  and 
 experience — should  for  a  while  be  dazzled  and  deceived  with  the  glar- 
 ing appearances  of  mistiiken  devotion  and  zeal;  eispecially,  considering 
 
PREFACE.  33 
 
 the  extraordinary  circumstances  of  that  day.  He  told  me  on  his  death 
 bed,  that  while  he  was  in  these  circumstances,  he  was  out  of  his  ele- 
 ment, and  did  violence  to  himself,  while  complying  in  his  conduct  with 
 persons  of  a  fierce  and  imprudent  zeal,  from  his  great  veneration  of 
 some  whom,  he  looked  upon  as  better  than  himself  So  that  it  would 
 be  very  unreasonable  that  his  error  at  that  time  should  nevertheless 
 be  esteemed  a  just  ground  of  prejudice  against  the  whole  of  his  reli- 
 gion, and  his  character  in  general;  especially  considering,  how  greatly 
 his  mind  was  soon  changed,  and  how  exceedingly  he  afterwards  lament- 
 ed his  error,  and  abhorred  himself  for  his  imprudent  zeal  and  miscon- 
 duct at  that  time,  even  to  the  breaking  of  his  heart,  and  almost  to  the 
 overbearing  of  his  natural  strength;  and  how  much  of  a  Christian  spirit 
 he  shewed,  in  condemning  himself  for  that  misconduct,  as  the  reader 
 will  see. 
 
 What  has  now  been  mentioned  of  Brainerd,  is  so  far  from  being  a 
 just  ground  of  prejudice  against  what  is  related  in  the  following  ac- 
 count of  his  life,  that,  if  duly  considered,  it  will  render  the  history  the 
 more  serviceable.  For  by  his  thus  joining  for  a  season  with  enthusi- 
 asts, he  had  a  more  full  and  intimate  acquaintance  with  what  belonged 
 to  that  sort  of  religion;  and  so  was  under  better  advantages  to  judge  of 
 the  difference  between  that,  and  what  he  finally  approved,  and  strove 
 to  his  utmost  to  promote,  in  opposition  to  it.  In  his  testimony 
 against  it,  and  the  spirit  and  behaviour  of  those  who  are  influenced 
 by  it,  he  also  speaks  from  impartial  conviction,  and  not  from  prejudice; 
 because  he  thus  openly  condemns  his  own  former  opinions  and  conduct, 
 on  account  of  which  he  had  greatly  suffered  from  his  opposers,  and  for 
 which  some  continued  to  reproach  him  as  long  as  he  lived. 
 
 Another  imperfection  in  Brainerd,  which  may  be  observed  in  the 
 following  account  of  his  life,  was  his  being  excessive  in  his  labours;  not 
 taking  due  care  to  proportion  his  fatigues  to  his  strength.  Indeed,  the 
 case  was  very  often  such,  by  the  seeming  calls  of  Providence,  as  made 
 it  extremely  difficult  for  him  to  avoid  doing  more  than  his  strength 
 would  well  admit  of;  yea,  his  circumstances,  and  the  business  of  his 
 mission  among  the  Indians,  were  such,  that  great  fatigues  and  hardships 
 were  altogether  inevitable.  However,  he  was  finally  convinced,  that 
 he  had  erred  in  this  matter,  and  that  he  ought  to  have  taken  more  thor- 
 ough care,  and  been  more  resolute  to  withstand  temptations  to  such  de- 
 grees of  labour  as  injured  his  health;  and  accordingly  warned  his  bro- 
 ther, who  succeeds  him  in  his  mission,  to  be  careful  to  avoid  this  error. 
 
 Besides  the  imperfections  already  mentioned,  it  is  readily  allowed 
 that  there  were  some  imperfections  which  ran  through  his  whole  life, 
 and  were  mixed  with  all  his  religious  affections  and  exercises;  some 
 mixture  of  what  was  natural,  with  that  which  was  spiritual;  as  it  ever- 
 more is  in  the  best  saints  in  this  world.  Doubtless,  natural  temper 
 had  some  influence  in  the  religious  exercises  and  experiences  of  Brai- 
 nerd, as  it  most  apparently  had  in  those  of  David  and  Peter,  of  John 
 and  Paul.  There  was  undoubtedly  very  often  some  mixture  of  melan- 
 choly with  true  godly  sorrow,  and  real  Christian  humility;  some  mix- 
 
31  PREFACE. 
 
 ture  of  the  natural  fire  of  youth,  with  his  holy  zeal  for  God;  and 
 siome  influence  of  natural  principles,  mixed  with  grace  in  various 
 other  respects,  iis  it  ever  was  and  ever  will  be  with  the  saints,  while 
 on  this  side  heaven.  Perhaps  none  were  more  sensible  of  Brainerd's 
 imperfections,  than  himself;  or  could  distinguish  more  accurately  than 
 he,  between  what  was  natural,  and  what  was  spiritual.  It  is  easy  for 
 the  judicious  reader  to  observe,  that  his  graces  ripened,  that  the  re- 
 ligious exercises  of  his  heart  became  more  and  more  pure,  and  he  more 
 cUid  more  distinguishing  in  his  judgment,  the  longer  he  lived.  He  had 
 much  to  teach  and  purify  him,  and  he  failed  not  to  make  his  advantage. 
 
 Notwithstanding  all  these  imperfections,  every  pious  and  judicious 
 reader  will  readily  acknowledge,  that  what  is  here  set  before  him,  is  a 
 remarkable  instance  of  true  and  eminent  piety,  in  heart  and  practice — 
 tending  greatly  to  confirm  the  reality  of  vital  religion,  and  the  power 
 of  o-odliness; — that  it  is  most  worthy  of  imitation,  and  in  many  ways 
 calculated  to  promote  the  spiritual  benefit  of  the  careful  observer. 
 
 The  reader  should  be  aware,  that  what  Brain^erd  wrote  in  his  dia- 
 rn^  out  of  which  the  following  account  of  his  life  is  chiefly  taken,  was 
 written  only  for  his  own  private  use;  and  not  to  obtain  honour  and  ap- 
 plause in  the  world,  nor  with  any  design  that  the  world  should  ever  see 
 it,  either  while  he  lived,  or  alter  his  death;  except  a  few  things  which 
 he  wrote  in  a  dying  state,  after  he  had  been  persuaded,  with  difficulty, 
 not  entirely  to  suppress  all  his  private  writings.  He  shewed  himself 
 almost  invincibly  averse  to  the  publishing  of  any  part  of  his  diary  af- 
 ter his  death;  and  when  he  was  thought  to  be  dying  at  Boston,  gave 
 ihe  most  strict,  peremptory  orders  to  the  contrary.  But  being  by 
 some  of  his  friends  there,  prevailed  upon  to  withdraw  so  strict  and  ab- 
 solute a  prohibition,  he  was  finally  pleased  to  yield  so  far,  as  that 
 "■  his  papers  should  be  left  in  my  hands,  that  I  might  dispose  of  them  as 
 I  thought  would  be  most  for  God's  glory,  and  the  interest  of  religion." 
 
 But  a  few  days  before  his  death,  he  ordered  some  part  of  his  diary 
 to  be  destroyed,  which  renders  the  account  of  his  life,  the  less  com- 
 plete. And  there  are  some  parts  of  his  diary  here,  left  out  for  brevi- 
 ty's sake,  which  would,  I  am  sensible,  have  been  a  great  advantage  to 
 the  history,  if  they  had  been  inserted;  particularly  the  account  of  his 
 wonderful  success  among  the  Indians;  which  for  substance,  is  the  same 
 in  his  private  diary  with  that  which  has  already  been  made  public,  in 
 the  journal  he  kept  by  order  of  the  society  in  Scotland,  for  their  in- 
 formation. That  account,  I  am  of  opinion,  would  be  more  entertain- 
 ing and  more  profitable,  if  it  were  published  as  it  is  written  in  his  dia- 
 ry^ in  connection  with  his  secret  religion,  and  the  inward  exercises  of 
 liis  mind,  and  also  with  the  preceding  and  following  parts  of  the  story 
 of  his  life.  But  because  that  account  has  been  published  already,  I 
 hvive  therefore  omitted  that  part.  However,  this  defect  may  in  a 
 i!;reat  measure,  be  made  up  to  the  reader,  by  the  public yowrna/.*  But 
 it  is  time  to  end  this  preface,  that  the  reader  may  be  no  longer  detain- 
 ed from  the  history  itself.  JONATHAN  EDWARDS. 
 
 ♦  The  extracts  in  the  Jourual,  are  in  this  edition  for  the  first  time  incorporated 
 with  the  rest  of  the  Diarv. 
 
MEMOIRS,  &c. 
 
 CHAPTER  I. 
 
 From  his  hirth^  to  the  time  when  he  began  to  study  for  the  Ministry. 
 
 David  BRAINERD  was  bom  April  20,  1718,  at  Haddam,  in 
 Connecticut.  His  father  was  Hezekiah  Brainerd,  Esq.;  one  of 
 his  Majesty's  council  for  that  colony;  who  was  the  son  of  Daniel 
 Brainerd,  Esq.;  a  justice  of  the  peace,  and  a  deacon  of  the 
 Church  of  Christ  in  Haddam.  His  mother  was  Dorothy  Hobart, 
 daughter  of  the  Rev.  Jeremiah  Hobart;  who  preached  a  while  at 
 Topsfield,  then  removed  to  Hempstead  on  Long-Island,  and  af- 
 terwards— by  reason  of  numbers  turning  Quakers,  and  many 
 others  being  so  irreligious  that  they  would  do  nothing  towards  the 
 support  of  the  gospel — settled  in  the  work  of  the  ministry  at 
 Haddam  ;  where  he  died,  in  the  85th  year  of  his  age.  He  went 
 to  pubHc  worship  in  the  forenoon,  and  died  in  his  chair  between 
 meetings.  This  Rev.  gentleman  was  a  son  of  the  Rev.  Peter 
 Hobart;  who  was,  first,  minister  of  the  gospel  at  Hingham,  in 
 the  county  of  Norfolk,  in  England ;  and,  owning  to  the  persecu- 
 tion of  the  Puritans,  removed  with  his  family  to  New-England, 
 and  was  settled  in  the  ministry  at  Hingham,  in  Massachusetts. 
 He  had  five  sons,  Joshua,  Jeremiah,  Gershom,  Japheth,  and 
 Nehemiah.  Joshua  was  minister  at  Southold,  on  Long-Island. 
 Jeremiah  was  David  Brainerd's  grandfather.  Gershom  was  min- 
 ister of  Groton,  in  Connecticut.  Japheth  was  a  physician;  he  went 
 as  surgeon  of  a  ship  to  England,  before  the  time  of  taking  his  sec- 
 ond degree  at  college,  and  designed  to  go  from  thence  to  the  East 
 Indies ;  but  never  was  heard  of  more.  Nehemiah  was  fellow  of 
 Harvard  college,  and  afterwards  minister  at  Newton  in  Massachu- 
 setts.— The  mother  of  Dorothy  Hobart,  was  a  daughter  of  the 
 Rev.  Samuel  Whiting,  minister  of  the  gospel,  first  at  Boston,  in 
 Lincolnshire,  and  afterwards  at  Lynn  in  Massachusetts,  New 
 England.  He  had  three  sons,  who  were  ministers  of  the  gos- 
 pel. 
 
36  MEMOIRS  OF  BkAINERD. 
 
 David  Brainerd  was  the  third  son  of  his  parents.  They  had 
 five  sons  and  four  daughters.  Their  eldest  son  is  Hezekiah  Brain- 
 erd, Esq. ;  a  justice  of  the  peace,  and  for  several  years  past,  a 
 representative  of  the  town  of  Haddam,  in  the  general  assembly 
 of  Connecticut;  the  second  was  the  Rev.  Nehemiah  Brainerd, 
 a  worthy  minister  at  Eastbury  in  Connecticut,  who  died  of  a  con- 
 sumption, Nov.  10,  1742;  the  fourth  is  Mr.  John  Brainerd,  who 
 succeeds  his  brother  David,  as  missionary  to  the  Indians,  and 
 pastor  of  the  same  church  of  Christian  Indians  in  New-Jersey; 
 and  the  fifth  was  Israel,  lately  student  at  Yale-College,  in  New- 
 Haven,  who  died  since  his  brother  David. — Mrs.  Dorothy  Brain- 
 erd having  lived  about  five  years  a  widow,  died  when  her  son,  of 
 whose  life  I  am  about  to  give  an  account,  was  about  fourteen  years 
 of  age  :  so  that  in  his  youth  he  was  left  both  fatherless  and  moth- 
 erless. What  account  he  has  given  of  himself,  and  his  own  life, 
 may  be  seen  in  what  follows.* 
 
 "I  was  from  my  youth  somewhat  sober,  and  inclined  to  melan- 
 choly; but  do  not  remember  anything  of  conviction  of  sin,  wor- 
 thy of  remark,  till  \  was,  I  believe,  about  seven  or  eight  years 
 of  age.  Then  I  became  concerned  for  my  soul,  and  terrified  at 
 the  thoughts  of  death ;  and  was  driven  to  the  performance  of  re- 
 ligious duties :  but  it  appeared  a  melancholy  business,  that  de- 
 stroyed my  eagerness  for  play.  And  though,  alas!  this  religious 
 concern  was  but  short-lived,  I  sometimes  attended  secret  prayer; 
 and  thus  lived  at  "  ease  in  Zion,  without  God  in  the  world,"  and 
 without  much  concern,  as  I  remember,  till  I  was  above  thirteen 
 years  of  age.  In  the  winter  of  1732,  I  was  roused  out  of  this 
 carnal  security,  by  I  scarce  know  what  means  at  first ;  but  was 
 much  excited  by  the  prevalence  of  a  mortal  sickness  in  Haddam, 
 1  was  frequent,  constant,  and  somewhat  fervent  in  prayer ;  and 
 took  delight  in  reading,  especially  Mr.  Janeway's  Token  for 
 children.  I  felt  sometimes  much  melted  in  the  duties  of  religion, 
 took  great  delight  in  the  performance  of  them,  and  sometimes 
 hoped  that  I  was  converted,  or  at  least  in  a  good  and  hopeful  way 
 for  heaven  and  happiness;  not  knowing  what  conversion  was. 
 The  Spirit  of  God  at  this  time  proceeded  far  with  me.  I  was 
 remarkably  dead  to  the  world  ;  my  thoughts  were  almost  wholly 
 employed  about  my  soul's  concerns;  and  I  may  indeed  say,  "  AI- 
 
 *  In  Mr.  Brainerd's  acr.ount  of  himaelf  here,  and  continued  in  his  Diary,  the 
 r*»ader  will  find  a  growing  interest  and  pleasure  as  be  proceeds  ;  in  which  is  beau- 
 tifully exemplified  what  the  inspired  penman  declares,  "  The  path  of  the  just  is  as 
 the  morning  light,  that  shineth  more  and  more  unto  the  perfect  day."  And  indeed 
 even  his  diction  and  style  of  writing  assume  a  gradual  improvement. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  37 
 
 most  I  was  persuaded  to  be  a  Christian."  I  was  also  exceedingly 
 distressed  and  melancholy  at  the  death  of  my  mother,  in  March, 
 1732,  But  afterwards  my  religious  concern  began  to  decline, 
 and  by  degrees  I  fell  back  into  a  considerable  degree  of  security, 
 though  I  still  attended  secret  prayer. 
 
 "About  the  15th  of  April,  1733,  I  removed  from  my  father's 
 house  to  East-Haddam,  where  I  spent  four  years;  but  still  "with- 
 out God  in  the  world,"  though,  for  the  most  part,  I  went  a  round 
 of  secret  duty.  I  was  not  much  addicted  to  the  company  and 
 amusements  of  the  young;  but  this  I  know,  that  when  I  did  go 
 into  such  company,  I  never  returned  with  so  good  a  conscience  as 
 when  I  went.  It  always  added  new  guilt,  made  me  afraid  to  come 
 to  the  throne  of  grace,  and  spoiled  those  good  frames  with  which 
 I  was  wont  sometimes  to  please  myself.  But,  alas!  all  my  good 
 frames  were  but  self-righteousness,  not  founded  on  a  desire  for 
 the  glory  of  God. 
 
 "About  the  latter  end  of  April,  1737,  being  full  nineteen  years 
 of  age,  I  removed  to  Durham,  to  work  on  my  farm,  and  so  contin- 
 ued about  one  year ;  frequently  longing,  from  mere  natural  prin- 
 ciples, after  a  liberal  education.  When  about  twenty  years  of 
 age,  I  applied  myself  to  study ;  and  was  now  engaged  more  than 
 ever  in  the  duties  of  religion.  1  became  very  strict,  and  watchful 
 over  my  thoughts,  words,  and  actions;  concluded  that  I  must  be 
 sober  indeed,  because  I  designed  to  devote  myself  to  the  ministry; 
 and  imagined  that  1  did  dedicate  myself  to  the  Lord. 
 
 "  Sometime  in  April,  1738,  I  went  to  Mr.  Fiske's,  and  lived 
 with  him  during  his  life.*  I  remember  he  advised  me  wholly  to 
 abandon  young  company,  and  associate  myself  with  grave  elderly 
 people:  which  counsel  I  followed.  My  manner  of  life  was  now 
 wholly  regular,  and  full  of  religion,  such  as  it  was;  for  I  read  my 
 bible  more  than  twice  through  in  less  then  a  year,  spent  much 
 time  every  day  in  prayer  and  other  secret  duties,  gave  great  atten- 
 tion to  the  word  preached,  and  endeavoured  to  my  utmost  to  re- 
 tain it.  So  much  concerned  was  I  about  religion,  that  I  agreed 
 with  some  young  persons  to  meet  privately  on  Sabbath  evenings 
 for  religious  exercises,  and  thought  myse\( sincere  in  these  duties; 
 and  after  our  meeting  was  ended,  I  used  to  repeat  the  discourses 
 of  the  day  to  myself;  recollecting  what  I  could,  though  sometimes 
 very  late  at  night.  I  used  occasionally  on  Monday  mornings  to 
 recollect  the  same  sermons ;  experienced  a  considerable  degree 
 of  enjoyment  in  prayer,  and  had  many  thoughts  of  joining  the 
 church.  In  short,  I  had  a  very  good  outside,  and  rested  entirely 
 on  my  duties,  though  I  was  not  sensible  of  it. 
 
 *  Mr.  Fi?ke  was  the  pastor  of  the  church  in  Haddam. 
 
38  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 "After  Mr.  Fiske's  death,  I  proceeded  in  my  studies  with  my 
 brother;  was  still  very  constant  in  religious  duties,  often  wondered 
 at  the  levity  of  professors,  and  lamented  their  carelessness  in  reli- 
 gious matters. — Thus  I  proceeded  a  considerable  length  on  a 
 self-righteous  foundation  ;  and  should  have  been  entirely  lost  and 
 undone,  had  not  the  mere  mercy  of  God  prevented. 
 
 "  Sometime  in  the  beginning  of  winter,  1738,  it  pleased  God, 
 one  Sabbath  morning,  as  1  was  walking  out  for  prayer,  to  give  me 
 on  a  sudden  such  a  sense  of  my  danger,  and  the  wrath  of  God, 
 that  I  stood  amazed,  and  my  former  good  frames  presently  van- 
 ished. From  the  view  which  I  had  of  my  sin  and  vileness,  I  was 
 much  distressed  all  that  day,  fearing  that  the  vengeance  of  God 
 would  soon  overtake  me.  I  was  much  dejected ;  kept  much  alone ; 
 and  sometimes  envied  the  birds  and  beasts  their  happiness,  because 
 they  were  not  exposed  to  eternal  misery,  as  I  evidently  saw  that  I 
 was.  Thus  I  lived  from  day  to  day,  being  frequently  in  great 
 distress:  sometimes  there  appeared  mountains  before  me  to  ob- 
 struct my  hopes  of  mercy ;  and  the  work  of  conversion  appeared 
 so  great,  that  I  thought  I  should  never  be  the  subject  of  it.  I 
 used,  however,  to  pray  and  cry  to  God,  and  perform  other  duties 
 with  great  earnestness;  and  thus  hoped  by  some  means  to  make 
 the  case  better. 
 
 "  Hundreds  of  times,  I  renounced  all  pretences  of  any  worth 
 in  my  duties,  as  I  thought,  even  while  performing  them,  and  often 
 confessed  to  God  that  I  deserved  nothing,  for  the  very  best  of 
 them,  but  eternal  condemnation  ;  yet  still  I  had  a  secret  hope  of 
 recommending  myself  to  God  by  my  religious  duties.  When  I 
 prayed  affectionately,  and  my  heart  seemed  in  some  measure  to 
 melt,  I  hoped  that  God  would  be  thereby  moved  to  pity  me.  My 
 prayers  then  looked  with  some  appearance  of  goodness  in  them, 
 and  I  seemed  to  mourn  for  sin.  Then  I  could  in  some  measure 
 venture  on  the  mercy  of  God  in  Christ,  as  I  thought;  though  the 
 preponderating  thought,  the  foundation  of  my  hope  was  some 
 imagination  of  goodness  in  my  meltings  of  heart,  the  warmth  of 
 my  affections,  and  my  extraordinary  enlargements  in  prayer. 
 Though  at  times  the  gate  appeared  so  very  strait,  that  it  looked 
 next  to  impossible  to  enter;  yet,  at  other  times,  I  flattered  my- 
 self that  it  was  not  so  very  difficult,  and  hoped  I  should  by  dili- 
 gence and  watchfulness  soon  gain  the  point.  Sometimes  after 
 enlargement  in  duty  and  considerable  affection,  I  hoped  I  had 
 made  a  good  step  towards  heaven;  and  imagined  that  God  was 
 affected  as  I  was,  and  would  hear  such  sincere  cries^  as  I  called 
 them.     And  so  sometimes,  when  I  withdrew  for  secret  prayer  in 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  39 
 
 great  distress,  I  returned  comfortable;  and  thus  healed  myself 
 with  my  duties, 
 
 "In  February  1739,  I  set  apart  a  day  for  secret  fasting  and 
 prayer,  and  spent  the  day  in  almost  incessant  cries  to  God  for 
 mercy,  that  he  would  open  my  eyes  to  see  the  evil  of  sin,  and  the 
 way  of  life  by  Jesus  Christ.  God  was  pleased  that  day  to  make 
 considerable  discoveries  of  my  heart  to  me.  Still  I  trusted  in  all 
 the  duties  I  performed,  though  there  was  no  imnner  of  goodness 
 in  them  ;  there  being  in  them  no  respect  to  the  glory  of  God,  nor 
 any  such  principle  in  my  heart.  Yet  God  was  pleased  to  make 
 my  endeavours,  that  day,  a  means  to  shew  me  my  helplessness  in 
 some  measure. 
 
 "  Sometimes  I  was  greatly  encouraged,  and  imagined  that  God 
 loved  me,  and  was  pleased  with  me, — and  thought  I  should  soon 
 be  fully  reconciled  to  God.  But  the  whole  was  founded  on  mere 
 presumption,  arising  from  enlargement  in  duty,  or  warmth  of  af- 
 fections, or  some  good  resolutions,  or  the  like.  And  when,  at 
 times,  great  distress  began  to  arise,  on  a  sight  of  my  vileness,  and 
 inability  to  deliver  myself  from  a  sovereign  God,  I  used  to  put  ofF 
 the  discovery,  as  what  I  could  not  bear.  Once,  I  remember,  a 
 terrible  pang  of  distress  seized  me  ;  and  the  thought  of  renounc- 
 ing myself,  and  standing  naked  before  God,  stripped  of  all  good- 
 ness, was  so  dreadful  to  me,  that  I  was  ready  to  say  to  it,  as  Felix 
 to  Paul,  "  Go  thy  way  for  \S\s  time.''  Thus,  though  I  daily  long- 
 ed for  greater  conviction  oT  sin;  supposing  that  I  must  see  more 
 of  my  dreadful  state  in  order  to  a  remedy ;  yet,  when  the  discov- 
 eries of  my  vile,  wicked  heart,  were  made  to  me,  the  sight  was 
 so  dreadful,  and  shewed  me  so  plainly  my  exposedness  to  damna- 
 tion, that  I  could  not  endure  it.  I  constantly  strove  after  what- 
 ever qualifications  I  imagined  others  obtained  before  the  recep- 
 tion of  Christ,  in  order  to  recommend  me  to  his  favour.  Some- 
 times I  felt  the  power  of  a  hard  heart,  and  supposed  it  must  be 
 softened  before  Christ  would  accept  of  me ;  and  when  I  felt  any 
 meltings  of  heart,  I  hoped  now  the  work  was  almost  done.  Hence, 
 when  my  distress  still  remained,  I  was  wont  to  murmur  at  God's 
 dealings  with  me;  and  thought,  when  others  felt  their  hearts  sof- 
 tened, God  shewed  them  mercy  ;  but  my  distress  remained  still. 
 
 "  At  times  I  grew  remiss  and  sluggish,  without  any  great  con- 
 victions of  sin,  for  a  considerable  time  together ;  but  after  such  a 
 season,  convictions  seized  me  more  violently.  One  night  I  re- 
 member in  particular,  when  I  was  walking  solitarily  abroad,  I  had 
 opened  to  me  such  a  view  of  my  sin,  that  I  feared  the  ground 
 would  cleave  asunder  under  my  feet,  and  become  my  grave;  and 
 would  send  my  soul  quick  into   hell,  before   I   could  get  home. 
 
40  MEMOIRS  OF  BKAINERD. 
 
 Though  I  was  forced  to  go  to  bed,  lest  my  distress  should  be  dis- 
 covered by  others,  which  I  much  feared  ;  yet  I  scarcely  durst 
 sleep  at  all,  for  I  thought  it  would  be  a  great  wonder  if  I  should 
 be  out  of  hell  in  the  morning.  And  though  my  distress  was  some- 
 times thus  great,  yet  I  greatly  dreaded  the  loss  o(  convictions,  and 
 returning  back  to  a  state  of  carnal  security,  and  to  my  former  in- 
 sensibility of  impending  wrath  ;  which  made  me  exceedingly  exact 
 in  my  behaviour,  lest  I  should  stifle  the  motions  of  God's  Holy 
 Spirit.  When  at  any  time  I  took  a  view  of  my  convictions,  and 
 thought  the  degree  of  them  to  be  considerable,  I  was  wont  to 
 trust  in  them;  but  this  confidence,  and  the  hopes  of  soon  making 
 some  notable  advances  tow^ards  deliverance,  would  ease  my  mind, 
 and  I  soon  became  more  senseles  and  remiss. — Again,  when  I 
 discerned  my  convictions  to  grow  languid,  and  thought  them  about 
 to  leave  me;  this  immediately  alarmed  and  distressed  me. — ■ 
 Sometimes  I  expected  to  take  a  large  step,  and  get  very  far  to- 
 wards conversion,  by  some  particular  opportunity  or  means  I  had 
 in  view, 
 
 "The  many  disappointments,  great  distresses  and  perplexity 
 which  I  experienced,  put  me  into  a  most  horrible  frame  of  con- 
 testing  with  the  Almighty;  with  an  inward  vehemence  and  viru- 
 lence finding  fault  with  his  ways  of  dealing  with  mankind.  I  found 
 great  fault  with  the  imputation  of  Adam's  sin  to  his  posterity:  and 
 my  wicked  heart  often  wished  for  some  other  way  of  salvation, 
 than  by  Jesus  Christ.  Being  like  the  troubled  sea,  my  thoughts 
 confused,  I  used  to  contrive  to  escape  the  wrath  of  God  by  some 
 other  means.  I  had  strange  projects,  full  of  Atheism,  contriving 
 to  disappoint  God's  designs  and  decrees  concerning  me,  or  to  es- 
 cape his  notice,  and  hide  myself  from  him.  But  when,  upon  re- 
 flection, I  saw  these  projects  were  vain,  and  would  not  serve  me, 
 and  that  I  could  contrive  nothing  for  my  own  relief;  this  would 
 throw  my  mind  into  the  most  horrid  frame,  to  wish  there  was  no 
 God,  or  to  wish  there  were  some  other  God  that  could  controul 
 him.  These  thoughts  and  desires  were  the  secret  inclinations  of 
 my  heart,  frequently  acting  before  I  was  aware  ;  but,  alas  !  they 
 were  mine,  although  I  was  frii^htened  when  I  came  to  reflect  on 
 ihem.  When  I  considered,  it  distressed  me  to  think,  that  my 
 heart  was  so  full  of  enmity  against  God  ;  and  it  made  me  tremble, 
 lest  his  vengeance  should  suddenly  fall  upon  me.  I  used  before 
 to  imagine,  that  my  heart  was  not  so  bad  as  the  scriptures  and 
 some  other  books  represented  it.  Sometimes  I  used  to  take  much 
 pains  to  work  it  up  into  a  good  frame,  a  humble  submissive  dispo- 
 sition ;  and  hoped  there  was  then  some  goodness  in  me.  But,  on 
 a  sudden,  the  thoughts  of  the  strictness  of  the  law,  or  the  sovereign- 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  41 
 
 ty  of  God,  would  so  irritate  the  corruption  of  my  heart,  that  I  had 
 so  watched  over,  and  hoped  I  had  brought  to  a  good  frame,  that 
 it  would  break  over  all  bounds,  and  burst  forth  on  all  sides,  like 
 floods  of  waters  when  they  break  down  their  dam. 
 
 "  Being  sensible  of  the  necessity  of  deep  humiliation  in  order  to 
 a  saving  interest  in  Christ,  I  used  to  set  myself  to  produce  in  my 
 own  heart  the  convictions  requisite  in  such  a  humiliation ;  as,  a 
 conviction  that  God  would  be  just,  if  he  cast  me  off  for  ever  ;  that 
 if  ever  God  should  bestow  mercy  on  me,  it  would  be  mere  grace, 
 though  I  should  be  in  distress  many  years  first,  and  be  never  so 
 much  engaged  in  duty  ;  and  that  God  was  not  in  the  least  obliged 
 to  pity  me  the  more  for  all  past  duties,  cries,  and  tears.  I  strove 
 to  my  utmost  to  bring  myself  to  a  firm  belief  of  these  things  and  a 
 hearty  assent  to  them  ;  and  hoped  that  now  I  was  brought  off  from 
 myself,  truly  humbled,  and  that  I  bowed  to  the  divine  sovereignty. 
 I  was  wont  to  tell  God  in  my  prayers,  that  now  I  had  those  very 
 dispositions  of  soul  which  he  required,  and  on  which  he  shewed 
 mercy  to  others,  and  thereupon  to  beg  and  plead  for  mercy  to  me. 
 But  when  I  found  no  relief,  and  was  still  oppressed  with  guilt,  and 
 fears  of  wrath,  my  soul  was  in  a  tumult,  and  my  heart  rose  against 
 God,  as  deahng  hardly  with  me.  Yet  then  my  conscience  flew 
 in  my  face,  putting  me  in  mind  of  my  late  confession  to  God  of 
 his  justice  in  my  condemnation.  This,  giving  me  a  sight  of  the 
 badness  of  my  heart,  threw  me  again  into  distress;  and  I  wished 
 that  I  had  watched  my  heart  more  narrowly,  to  keep  it  from 
 breaking  out  against  God's  dealings  with  me.  I  even  wished  that 
 I  had  not  pleaded  for  mercy  on  account  of  my  humiliation;  be- 
 cause thereby  I  had  lost  all  my  seeming  goodness. — Thus,  scores 
 of  times,  I  vainly  imagined  myself  humbled  and  prepared  for  sav- 
 ing mercy.  While  I  was  in  this  distressed,  bewildered,  and  tu- 
 multuous state  of  mind,  the  corruption  of  my  heart  was  especially 
 irritated  with  the  following  things. 
 
 1.  "  The  strictness  of  the  divine  Law.  For  I  found  it  was  im- 
 possible for  me,  after  my  utmost  pains,  to  answer  its  demands.  I 
 often  made  new  resolutions,  and  as  often  broke  them.  T  imputed 
 the  whole  to  carelessness,  and  the  want  of  being  more  watchful, 
 and  used  to  call  myself  a  fool  for  my  negligence.  But  when,  upon 
 a  stronger  resolution,  and  greater  endeavours,  and  close  applica- 
 tion to  fasting  and  prayer,  I  found  all  attempts  fail ;  then  I  quar- 
 relled with  the  law  of  God  is  unreasonably  rigid.  I  thought,  if 
 it  extended  only  to  my  outward  actions  and  behaviours,  that  I 
 could  bear  with  it;  but  I  found  that  it  condemned  me  for  my  evil 
 thoughts,  and  sins  of  my  Jieart,  which  I  could  not  possibly  pre- 
 vent.    I  was  extremely  loth  to  own  my  utter  helplessness  in  thir> 
 
 6 
 
42  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 matter :  but  after  repeated  disappointments,  thought  that,  rather 
 than  perish,  I  could  do  a  little  more  still ;  especially  if  such  and 
 such  circumstances  might  but  attend  my  endeavours  and  strivings. 
 I  hoped,  that  I  should  strive  more  earnestly  than  ever,  if  the  mat- 
 ter came  to  extremity,  though  I  never  could  find  the  time  to  do  my 
 utmost,  in  the  manner  I  intended.  This  hope  of  future  more  fa- 
 vourable circumstances,  and  of  doing  something  great  hereafter, 
 kept  me  from  utter  despair  in  myself,  and  from  seeing  myself  fall- 
 en into  the  hands  of  a  sovereign  God,  and  dependent  on  nothing 
 but  free  and  boundless  grace. 
 
 2.  That  faith  alone  was  the  conditim  of  salvation ;  that  God 
 would  not  come  down  to  lower  terms ;  and  that  he  would  not 
 promise  life  and  salvation  upon  my  sincere  and  hearty  prayers 
 and  endeavours.  That  word,  Mark  xvi.  16,  "  He  that  believeth 
 not,  shall  be  damned,"  cut  off  all  hope  there. — I  found  that  faith 
 was  the  sovereign  gift  of  God  ;  that  T  could  not  get  it  as  of  myself; 
 and  could  not  oblige  God  to  bestow  it  upon  me,  by  any  of  my  per- 
 formances. (Eph.  ii.  1.  8.)  This,  I  was  ready  to  say,  is  a  hard 
 saying,  who  can  hear  it9  I  could  not  bear,  that  all  I  had  done 
 should  stand  for  mere  nothing  ;  as  I  had  been  very  conscientious 
 in  duty,  had  been  exceeding  religious  a  great  while,  and  had,  as  I 
 thought,  done  much  more  than  many  others  who  had  obtained 
 mercy.  1  confessed  mdeed  the  vileness  of  my  duties;  but  then, 
 what  made  them  at  that  time  seem  vile,  was  my  wandering 
 thoughts  in  them  ;  not  because  I  was  all  over  defiled  like  a  devil, 
 and  the  principle  corrupt  from  whence  they  flowed,  so  that  I  could 
 not  possibly  do  any  thing  that  was  good.  Hence  I  called  what  I 
 did  by  the   name  of  honest  faithful  endeavours ;    and   could  not 
 
 **bear  it,  that  God  had  made  no  promises  of  salvation  to  them. 
 
 3.  "  That  I  could  not  find  out  what  faith  was  ;  o.--  ivhat  it  was 
 to  believe  and  come  to  Christ.  I  read  the  calls  of  Christ  to  the 
 weary  and  heavy  laden;  but  could  find  no  way  that  he  directed 
 them  to  come  in.  I  thought  I  would  gladly  come,  if  I  knew  how; 
 though  the  path  of  duty  were  never  so  difiicult.  I  read  Stoddard's 
 Guide  to  Christ,  (which  I  trust  was,  in  the  hand  of  God,  the  hap- 
 py means  of  my  conversion),  and  my  heart  rose  against  the  au- 
 thor ;  for  though  he  told  me  my  very  he:irt  all  along  under  con- 
 victions, and  seemed  to  be  very  beneficial  to  me  in  his  directions; 
 yet  here  he  failed ;  he  did  not  tell  me  any  thing  I  could  do  that 
 would  bring  me  to  Christ,  but  left  nic»'\s  it  were  with  a  great  gulph 
 between,  without  any  direction  to  get  through.  For  I  was  not  yet 
 effectually  and  experimentally  taught,  that  there  could  be  no  way 
 prescribed,  whereby  a  natural  man  could,  of  his  own  strength,  ob- 
 tain that  which  is  supernatural,  and  which  the  highest  angel  can- 
 not give. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  43 
 
 4.  "  The  sovereignty  of  God.  I  could  not  bear,  that  it  should  be 
 wholly  at  God's  pleasure,  to  save  or  damn  me,  just  as  he  would. 
 That  passage,  Rom.  ix.  11 — 23.  was  a  constant  vexation  to  me, 
 especially  verse  21.  Reading  or  meditating  on  this,  always  de- 
 stroyed my  seeming  good  frames ;  for  when  I  thought  I  was  al- 
 most humbled,  and  almost  resigned,  this  passage  would  make  my 
 enmity  against  the  sovereignty  of  God  appear.  When  I  came  to 
 reflect  on  the  inward  enmity  and  blasphemy,  which  arose  on  this 
 occasion,  I  was  the  more  afraid  of  God,  and  driven  further  from 
 any  hopes  of  reconciliation  with  him.  Jt  gave  me  a  dreadful  view 
 of  myself;  I  dreaded  more  than  ever  to  see  myself  in  God's 
 hands,  at  his  sovereign  disposal;  and  it  made  me  more  opposite 
 than  ever  to  submit  to  his  sovereignty ;  for  I  thought  God  design- 
 ed my  damnation. 
 
 "  All  this  time  the  Spirit  of  God  was  powerfully  at  work  with 
 me;  and  I  was  inwardly  pressed  to  relinquish  all  self-confidence^ 
 all  hopes  of  ever  helping  myself  by  any  means  whatsoever.  The 
 conviction  of  my  lost  estate  was  sometimes  so  clear  and  manifest 
 before  my  eyes,  that  it  was  as  if  it  had  been  declared  to  me  in  so 
 many  words,  "  It  is  done,  it  is  done,  it  is  for  ever  impossible  to  de- 
 liver yourself."  For  about  three  or  four  days  my  soul  was  thus 
 greatly  distressed.  At  some  turns,  for  a  few  moments,  I  seemed 
 to  myself /o5^  and  undone;  but  then  would  shrink  back  immedi- 
 ately from  the  sight,  because  I  dared  not  venture  myself  into  the 
 hands  of  God,  as  wholly  helpless,  and  at  the  disposal  of  his  sove- 
 reign pleasure.  I  dared  not  see  that  important  truth  concerning 
 myself,  that  I  was  dead  in  trespasses  and  sins.  But  when  I  had, 
 as  it  were,  thrust  away  these  views  of  myself  at  any  time,  I  felt 
 distressed  to  have  the  same  discoveries  of  myself  again ;  for  I^ 
 greatly  feared  being  given  over  of  God  to  final  stupidity.  When 
 I  thought  of  putting  it  off  to  a  more  convenient  season^  the  convic- 
 tion was  so  close  and  powerful,  with  regard  to  the  present  time, 
 that  it  was  the  best,  and  probably  the  only  time,  that  I  dared  not 
 put  it  off. 
 
 *'  It  was  the  sight  of  truth  concerning  myself,  truth  respecting 
 my  state,  as  a  creature  fallen  and  alienated  from  God,  and  that 
 consequently  could  make  no  demands  on  God  for  mercy,  but 
 must  subscribe  to  the  absolute  sovereignty  of  the  divine  Being; 
 the  sight  of  the  truth,  I  say,  my  soul  shrank  away  from,  and  trem- 
 bled to  think  of  beholding.  Thus,  he  that  doth  evil,  as  all  unre- 
 generate  men  continually  do,  hates  the  light  of  truth,  neither  cares 
 to  come  to  it,  because  it  will  reprove  his  deeds,  and  shew  him  his 
 just  deserts,  John  iii.  20.  Sometime  before,  I  had  taken  much 
 pains,  as  I  thought,  to  submit  to  the  sovereignty  of  God ;  yet  I 
 
44  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 mistook  the  thing, — and  did  not  once  imagine,  that  seeing  and 
 being  made  experimentally  sensible  of  this  truth,  which  my  soul 
 now  so  much  dreaded  and  trembled  at,  was  the  frame  of  soul 
 which  I  had  so  earnestly  desired.  I  had  ever  hoped,  that  when  I 
 had  attained  to  that  humiliation,  which  I  supposed  necessary  to 
 precede  faith,  then  it  would  not  be  fair  for  God  to  cast  me  off;  but 
 now  I  saw  it  was  so  far  from  any  goodness  in  me,  to  own  myself 
 spiritually  dead,  and  destitute  of  all  goodness,  that,  on  the  contra- 
 ry, 7ny  mouth  would  be  for  ever  stopped  by  it ;  and  it  looked  as 
 dreadful  to  me,  to  see  myself,  and  the  relation  I  stood  in  to  God — 
 I  a  sinner  and  criminal,  and  he  a  great  judge  and  Sovereign — as  it 
 would  be  to  a  poor  trembling  creature,  to  venture  off  some  high 
 precipice.  Hence  I  put  it  off  for  a  minute  or  two,  and  tried  for 
 better  circumstances  to  do  it  in  ;  either  I  must  read  a  passage  or 
 two,  or  pray  first,  or  something  of  the  like  nature;  or  else  put  off 
 my  submission  to  God's  sovereignty  with  an  objection,  that  I  did 
 not  know  how  to  submit.  But  the  truth  was,  I  could  see  no  safe- 
 ty in  owning  myself  in  the  hands  of  a  sovereign.  God,  and  could 
 lay  no  claim  to  any  thing  better  than  damnation." 
 
 It   was  about  this  period  that   Brainerd  wrote  the  following 
 fragment,  found  among  his  MSS.  and  entitled, 
 
 "  Some  gloomy  and  desponding  thoughts  of  a  soul  under  convictions 
 of  sin,  and  concern  for  its  eternal  salvation.'^'^ 
 
 I.  **I  believe  my  case  is  singular,  that  none  ever  had  so  many 
 strange  and  different  thoughts  and  feelings  as  I. 
 
 9^  2.  "  I  have  been  concerned  much  longer  than  many  others  I 
 have  known,  or  concerning  whom  I  have  read,  who  have  beeu 
 savingly  converted,  and  yet  I  am  left. 
 
 3.  "  I  have  withstood  the  power  of  convictions  a  long  time  ;  and 
 therefore  I  fear  I  shall  be  finally  left  of  God. 
 
 4.  *'  I  never  shall  be  converted  without  stronger  convictions  and 
 greater  terrors  of  conscience. 
 
 5.  "  I   do  not  aim  at  the  glory  of  God  in  any  thing  I  do,  and 
 therefore  I  cannot  hope  for  mercy. 
 
 6.  "  I  do  not  see  the  evil  nature  of  sin,  nor  the  sin  of  my  na- 
 ture; and  therefore  I  am  discouraged. 
 
 7.  "  The  more  I  strive,  the  more  blind  and  hard  my  heart  is, 
 and  the  worse  \  grow  continually. 
 
 8.  "  I  fear  that  God  never  shewed  mercy  to  one  so  vile  as  I. 
 
 9.  "  I  fear  that  I  am  not  elected,  and  therefore  must  perish. 
 
 10.  "1  fear  that  the  day  of  grace  is  past  with  me. 
 
 II.  "I  fear  that  I  have  committed  the  unpardonable  sin. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  45 
 
 12.  '•  I  am  an  oldsumer  ;  and  if  God  had  designed  mercy  for 
 me,  he  would  have  called  me  home  to  himself  before  now." 
 
 "After  a  considerable  time  spent  in  similar  exercises  and  dis- 
 tresses, one  morning,  while  1  was  walkingin  a  solitary  place,  as  usu- 
 al, I  at  once  saw  that  all  my  contrivances  and  projects  to  effect  or 
 procure  deliverance  and  salvation  for  myself,  were  utterly  in  vain; 
 I  was  brought  quite  to  a  stand,  as  finding  myself  totally  lost.  I 
 had  thought  many  times  before,  that  the  difficulties  in  my  way 
 were  very  great ;  but  now  I  saw,  in  another  and  very  different 
 light,  that  it  was  for  ever  impossible  for  me  to  do  any  thing  to- 
 wards helping  or  delivering  myself.  1  then  thought  of  blanrjing 
 myself,  that  I  had  not  done  more,  and  been  more  engaged,  while 
 I  had  opportunity — for  it  seemed  now  as  if  the  season  of  doing 
 was  for  ever  over  and  gone — but  I  instantly  saw,  that,  let  me 
 have  done  what  I  would,  it  would  no  more  have  tended  to  my 
 helping  myself,  than  what  I  had  done ;  that  I  had  made  all  the 
 pleas  I  ever  could  have  made  to  all  eternity  ;  and  that  all  rny 
 pleas  were  vain.  The  tumult  that  had  been  before  in  my  mind, 
 was  now  quieted;  and  I  was  somewhat  eased  of  that  distress 
 which  1  felt  while  struggling  against  a  sight  of  myself,  and  of  the 
 divine  sovereignty.  I  had  the  greatest  certainty,  that  my  state 
 was  forever  miserable,  for  all  that  I  could  do  ;  and  wondered  that 
 I  had  never  been  sensible  of  it  before. 
 
 "  While  I  remained  in  this  state,  my  notions  respecting  my 
 duties  were  quite  different  from  what  I  had  ever  entertained  in 
 times  past.  Before  this,  the  more  I  did  in  duty,  the  more  hard 
 I  thought  it  would  be  for  God  to  cast  me  off;  though  at  the  same 
 time  I  confessed,  and  thought  I  saw,  that  there  was  no  goodness 
 or  merit  in  my  duties  ;  but  now,  the  more  I  did  in  prayer  or  any 
 other  duty,  the  more  I  saw  that  I  was  indebted  to  God  for  allow- 
 ing me  to  ask  for  mercy  ;  for  I  saw  that  self-interest  had  led  me 
 to  pray,  and  that  I  had  never  once  prayed  from  any  respect  to  the 
 glory  of  God.  Now  I  saw  that  there  was  no  necessary  connection 
 between  my  prayers  and  the  bestowment  of  divine  mercy  ;  that 
 they  laid  not  the  least  obligation  upon  God  to  bestow  his  grace 
 upon  me;  and  that  there  was  no  more  virtue  or  goodness  in  them, 
 than  there  would  be  in  my  paddling  with  my  hand  in  the  water, 
 (which  was  the  comparison  I  had  then  in  my  mind;)  and  this  be- 
 cause they  were  not  performed  from  any  love  or  regard  to  God. 
 I  saw  that  I  had  been  heaping  up  my  devotions  before  God,  fast- 
 ing, praying,  «Szc.  pretending,  and  indeed  really  thinking  some- 
 times, that  I  was  aiming  at  the  glory  of  God  ;  whereas  I  never 
 once  truly  intended  it,  but  only  my  own  happiness.  I  saw  that  as 
 I  had  never  done  any  thing/o?-  God,  I  had  no  claim  on  any  thing 
 
46  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 from  him,  but  perdition,  on  account  of  my  hypocrisy  and  mock- 
 ery. Oh,  how  different  did  my  duties  now  appear  from  what 
 they  used  to  do  !  I  used  to  charge  them  with  sin  and  imperfection; 
 but  this  was  only  on  account  of  the  wanderings  and  vain  thoughts 
 attending  them,  and  not  because  I  had  no  regard  to  God  in  them; 
 for  this  1  thought  I  had.  But  when  I  saw  evidently  that  I  had 
 regard  to  nothing  but  self-interest;  then  they  appeared  a  vile 
 mockery  of  God,  self-worship,  and  a  continual  course  of  lies. — 
 1  saw  that  something  worse  had  attended  my  duties  than  barely  a 
 few  wanderings;  for  the  whole  was  nothing  but  self-worship,  and 
 an  horrid  abuse  of  God. 
 
 "  I  continued,  as  I  remember,  in  this  state  of  mind,  from  Fri- 
 day morning  till  the  Sabbath  evening  following,  (July  12,  1739,) 
 when  I  was  walking  again  in  the  same  solitary  place,  where  I  was 
 brought  to  see  myself  lost  and  helpless,  as  before  mentioned. 
 Here,  in  a  mournful  melancholy  state,  I  was  attempting  to  pray; 
 but  found  no  heart  to  engage  in  that  or  any  other  duty ;  my  for- 
 mer concern,  exercise,  and  religious  affections  were  now  gone. 
 I  thought  that  the  Spirit  of  God  had  quite  left  me  ;  but  still  was 
 not  distressed  ;  yet  disconsolate,  as  if  there  was  nothing  in  heav- 
 en or  earth  could  make  me  happy.  Having  been  thus  endeav- 
 ouring to  pray — though,  as  I  thought,  very  stupid  and  senseless — 
 for  near  half  an  hour;  then,  as  I  was  walking  in  a  dark  thick 
 grove,  unspeakable  glory  seemed  to  open  to  the  view  and  appre- 
 hension of  my  soul.  I  do  not  mean  any  external  brightness,  for 
 1  saw  no  such  thing  ;  nor  do  I  intend  any  imagination  of  a  body  of 
 light,  some  where  in  the  third  heavens,  or  any  thing  of  that  na- 
 ture ;  but  it  was  a  new  inward  apprehension  or  view  that  I  had  of 
 God,  such  as  1  never  had  before,  nor  any  thing  which  had  the 
 least  resemblance  of  it.  I  stood  still  ;  wondered  ;  and  admired! 
 I  knew  (hat  1  never  had  seen  before  any  thing  comparable  to  it 
 for  excellency  and  beauty;  it  was  widely  different  from  all  the 
 conceptions  that  ever  I  had  of  God,  or  things  divine.  I  had  no 
 particular  apprehension  of  any  one  person  in  the  Trinity,  either 
 the  Father,  the  Son,  or  the  Holy  Ghost;  but  it  appeared  to  be 
 Divine  glory.  My  soul  rejoiced  with  joy  unspeakable,  to  see  such 
 a  God,  such  a  glorious  divine  Being;  and  I  was  inwardly  pleased 
 and  satisfied,  that  he  should  be  God  over  all  for  ever  and  ever. 
 My  soul  was  so  captivated  and  delighted  with  the  excellency, 
 loveliness,  greatness,  and  other  perfections  of  God,  that  I  was 
 even  swallowed  up  in  him ;  at  least  to  that  degree,  that  I  had  no 
 thought  (as  I  remember)  at  first,  about  my  own  salvation,  and 
 scarce  reflected  that  there  was  such  a  creature  as  myself. 
 
 "  Thus  God,  1  trust,  brought  me  to  a  hearty  disposition  to 
 exalt  him,  and  set  him  on  the  throne,  and  principally  and  ulti- 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  47 
 
 mately  to  aim  at  his  honour  and  glory,  as  King  of  the  universe. 
 I  continued  in  this  state  of  inward  joy,  peace,  and  astonishment, 
 till  near  dark,  without  any  sensible  abatement ;  and  then  began 
 to  think  and  examine  what  I  had  seen  ;  and  felt  sweetly  composed 
 in  my  mind  all  the  evening  following.  I  felt  myself  in  a  new 
 world,  and  every  thing  about  me  appeared  with  a  different  aspect 
 from  what  it  was  wont  to  do.  At  this  time,  the  way  of  salvation 
 opened  to  me  with  such  infinite  wisdom,  suitableness,  and  excel- 
 lency, that  I  wondered  I  should  ever  think  of  any  other  way  of 
 salvation  ;  was  amazed  that  f  had  not  dropped  my  own  contrivan- 
 ces, and  complied  with  this  lovely,  blessed,  and  excellent  way 
 before.  If  I  could  have  been  saved  by  my  own  duties,  or  any 
 other  way  that  I  had  formerly  contrived,  my  whole  soul  would  now 
 have  refused  it.  I  wondered  that  all  the  world  did  not  see  and 
 comply  with  this  way  of  salvation,  entirely  by  the  righteousness 
 of  Christ. 
 
 "  The  sweet  relish  of  what  I  then  felt,  continued  with  me  for 
 several  days,  almost  constantly,  in  a  greater  or  less  degree. — I 
 could  not  but  sweetly  rejoice  in  God,  lying  down  and  rising  up. 
 The  next  Lord's  day  I  felt  something  of  the  same  kind,  though 
 not  so  powerful  as  before.  But  not  long  after  I  was  again  involv- 
 ed in  thick  darkness,  and  under  great  distress  ;  yet  not  of  the  same 
 kind  with  my  distress  under  convictions.  I  was  guilty,  afraid, 
 and  ashamed  to  come  before  God ;  was  exceedingly  pressed  with 
 a  sense  of  guilt:  but  it  was  not  long  before  I  felt,  I  trust,  true 
 repentance  and  joy  in  God. — About  the  latter  end  of  August,  I 
 again  fell  under  great  darkness;  it  seemed  as  if  the  presence  of 
 God  was  clean  gone  for  ever;  though  I  was  not  so  much  distressed 
 about  my  spiritual  s/(7ie,  as  I  was  at  my  being  shut  out  from  God's 
 presence,  as  I  then  sensibly  was.  But  it  pleased  the  Lord  to  re- 
 turn graciously  to  me  not  long  after." 
 
 It  was,  probably,  at  this  time  that  the  following  fragment  was 
 written,  entitled, 
 
 "  Some  signs  of  Godliness, 
 
 '*The  distinguishing  marks  of  a  true  Christian,  taken  from  one 
 of  my  old  manuscripts ;  where  I  wrote  as  Ifelt  and  experienced, 
 and  not  from  any  considerable  degree  of  doctrinal  knowledge,  or 
 acquaintance  with  the  sentiments  of  others  in  this  point." 
 
 L  "He  has  a  true  knowledge  of  the  glory  and  excellency  of 
 God,  that  he  is  most  worthy  to  be  loved  and  praised  for  his  own 
 divine  perfections.     Psal.  cxlv.  3. 
 
48  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 2.  "  God  is  h\s  portion,  Psal.  Ixxiii.  25.  And  God^s  glory,  his 
 great  concern,  Matt.  vi.  22. 
 
 3.  "  Holiness  is  his  delight ;  nothing  he  so  much  longs  for,  as 
 to  be  holy,  as  God  is  holy.     Phil.  iii.  9 — 12. 
 
 4.  ''  Sin  is  his  greatest  enemy.  This  he  hates,  for  its  own 
 nature,  for  what  it  is  in  itself,  being  contrary  to  a  holy  God, 
 Jer.  ii.  1.  And  consequently  he  hates  all  sin,  Rom.  vii.  24. 
 1  John  iii.  9. 
 
 5.  "  The  laics  of  God  also  are  his  delight,  Psal.  cxix.  97. 
 Rom.  vii.  22.  These  he  observes,  not  out  of  constraint,  from  a 
 servile  fear  of  hell ;  but  they  are  his  choice,  Psal.  cxix.  30.  The 
 strict  observance  of  them  is  not  his  bondage,  but  his  greatest  lib- 
 erty, ver.  45," 
 
 "  In  the  beginning  of  September  I  went  to  Yale  College,  and 
 entered  there  ;  but  with  some  degree  of  reluctancy,  fear;ng  lest 
 I  should  not  be  able  to  lead  a  life  of  strict  religion,  in  the  midst 
 of  so  many  temptations. — After  this,  in  the  vacancy,  before  I 
 went  toiarry  at  college,  it  pleased  God  to  visit  my  soul  with  clear- 
 er manifestations  of  himself  and  his  grace.  I  was  spending  some 
 time  in  prayer  and  self-examination,  when  the  Lord,  by  his  grace, 
 so  shined  into  my  heart,  that  I  enjoyed  full  assurance  of  his  fa- 
 vour, for  that  time  ;  and  my  soul  was  unspeakably  refreshed  w^ith 
 divine  and  heavenly  enjoyments.  At  this  time  especially,  as  well 
 as  some  others,  sundry  passages  of  God's  word  opened  to  my 
 soul  with  divine  clearness,  power,  and  sweetness,  so  as  to  appear 
 exceeding  precious,  and  with  clear  and  certain  evidence  of  its  be- 
 ing the  word  of  God.  I  enjoyed  considerable  sweetness  in  religion 
 all  the  winter  following. 
 
 "In  Jan.  1740,  the  measles  spread  much  in  college;  and  I, 
 having  taken  the  distemper,  went  home  to  Haddam.  But  some 
 days  before  I  was  taken  sick,  I  seemed  to  be  greatly  deserted, 
 and  my  soul  mourned  the  absence  of  the  Comforter  exceedingly. 
 It  seemed  to  me,  that  all  comfort  was  forever  gone. — I  prayed 
 and  cried  to  God  for  help,  yet  found  no  present  comfort  or  relief. 
 But  throurh  divine  goodness,  a  night  or  two  before  I  was  taken 
 ill,  while  I  was  walking  alone  in  a  very  retired  place,  and  engaged 
 in  meditation  and  prayer,  I  enjoyed  a  sweet  refreshing  visit,  as  I 
 trust,  from  above  ;  so  that  my  soul  was  raised  far  above  the  fears 
 of  death.  Indeed,  I  rather  longed  for  death,  than  feared  it. 
 Oh,  how  much  more  refreshing  this  one  season  was,  than  all  the 
 pleasures  and  delights  that  earth  can  afford  !  After  a  day  or  two 
 I  was  taken  with  the  measles,  and  was  very  ill  indeed,  so  that  I 
 almost  despaired  of  life  ;  but  had  no  distressing  fears  of  death  at 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  4D 
 
 all.  Through  divine  goodness,  I  soon  recovered ;  yet,  owing  to 
 hard  study,  and  to  my  being  much  exposed  on  account  of  my 
 freshmanshij),  as  I  had  but  little  time  for  spiritual  duties,  my  soul 
 often  mourned  for  want  of  more  time  and  opportunity  to  be  alone 
 with  God.  In  the  spring  and  summer  following,  I  had  better  ad= 
 vantages  for  retirement,  and  enjoyed  more  comfort  in  religion. 
 My  ambition  in  my  studies  greatly  wronged  the  activity  and  vig- 
 our of  my  spiritual  life;  yet,  usually,  "in  the  multitude  of  my 
 thoughts  within  me,  God's  com^ovXs  principally  delighted  my  soul." 
 These  were  my  greatest  consolations  day  by  day. 
 
 "  One  day,  I  think  it  was  in  June,  1740,  I  walked  to  a  consid- 
 erable distance  from  college,  in  the  fields  alone,  at  noon,  and  in 
 prayer  found  such  unspeakable  sweetness  and  delight  in  God,  that 
 I  thought,  if  I  must  continue  still  m  this  evil  world,  I  wanted  al- 
 ways to  be  there,  to  behold  God's  glory.  My  soul  dearly  loved 
 all  mankind,  and  longed  exceedingly  that  they  should  enjoy  what 
 I  enjoyed.  It  seemed  to  be  a  little  resemblance  of  heaven.  On 
 Lord's  day,  July  6,  being  sacrament  day,  I  found  some  divine 
 life  and  spiritual  refreshment  in  that  holy  ordinance.  When  I 
 came  from  the  Lord's  table,  I  wondered  how  my  fellow-students 
 could  live  as  I  was  sensible  most  did. — Next  Lord's  day,  July  13, 
 I  had  some  special  sweetness  in  religion. — Again,  Lord's  day,  July 
 20,  my  soul  was  in  a  sweet  and  precious  frame. 
 
 "  Some  time  in  Auc^ust  following,  I  became  so  weakly  and  dis- 
 ordered, by  too  close  application  to  my  studies,  that  I  was  advised 
 by  my  tutor  to  go  home,  and  disengage  my  mind  from  study  as 
 much  as  I  could;  for  I  was  grown  so  weak,  that  I  began  to  spit 
 blood.  I  took  his  advice,  and  endeavoured  to  lay  aside  my  stud- 
 ies. But  being  brought  very  low,  I  looked  death  in  the  face  more 
 steadfastly ;  and  the  Lord  was  pleased  to  give  me  renewedly  a 
 sweet  sense  and  relish  of  divine  things;  and  particularly  October 
 13,  I  found  divine  help  and  consolation  in  the  precious  duties  of 
 secret  prayer  and  self-examination,  and  my  soul  took  delight  in 
 the  blessed  God  : — so  hkewise  on  the  1 7th  of  October. 
 
 Oct.  18.  "In  my  morning  devotions,  my  soul  was  exceedingly 
 melted,  and  bitterly  mourned  over  my  ^resLtsinfu/ness  and  vileness. 
 1  never  before  had  felt  so  pungent  and  deep  a  sense  of  the  odious 
 nature  of  sin,  as  at  this  time.  My  soul  was  then  unusually  carried 
 forth  in  love  to  God,  and  had  a  lively  sense  of  God's  love  to  me. 
 And  this  love  and  hope,  at  that  time,  cast  out  fear.  Both  morning 
 and  evening  I  spent  some  time  in  self-examination,  to  find  the 
 truth  of  grace,  as  also  my  fitness  to  approach  God  at  his  table  the 
 next  day;  and  through  infinite  grace,  found  the  holy  Spirit  influ- 
 encing my  soul  with  love  to  God,  as  a  witness  within  myself. 
 
bo  ME3I0IRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 y  Lord^sday,  Oct.  \9.  "  In  the  morning  I  felt  my  soul /iwn^er- 
 ^  hig  and  thirsting  after  righteousness.  In  the  forenoon,  while  I 
 was  looking  on  the  sacramental  elements,  and  thinking  that  Jesus 
 Christ  would  soon  be  "set  forth  crucified  before  me,"  my  soul 
 was  filled  with  light  and  love,  so  that  I  was  almost  in  an  ecstacy  ; 
 my  body  was  so  weak,  I  could  scarcely  stand.  I  felt  at  the  same 
 lime  an  exceeding  tenderness  and  most  fervent  love  towards  all 
 mankind  ;  so  that  my  soul  and  all  the  powers  of  it  seemed,  as  it  were, 
 to  melt  into  softness  and  sweetness.  But  during  the  communion, 
 there  was  some  abatement  of  this  life  and  fervour.  This  love  and 
 joy  cast  out  fear;  and  my  soul  longed  for  perfect  grace  and  glory. 
 This  frame  continued  till  the  evening,  when  my  soul  was  sweetly 
 spiritual  in  secret  duties. 
 
 Oct  20.  '•  I  again  found  the  assistance  of  the  Holy  Spirit  in 
 secret  duties,  both  morning  and  evening,  and  life  and  comfort  in 
 religion  through  the  whole  day. —  Oct.2\.  I  had  likewise  experi- 
 ence of  the  goodness  of  God  in  "  shedding  abroad  his  love  in  my 
 heart,"  and  giving  me  delight  and  consolation  in  religious  duties  ; 
 and  all  the  remaining  part  of  the  week  my  soul  seemed  to  be  taken 
 up  with  divine  things.  1  now  so  longed  after  God,  and  to  be 
 freed  from  sin,  that,  when  I  felt  myself  recovering,  and  thought  I 
 must  return  to  college  again,  which  had  proved  so  hurtful  to  ray 
 spiritual  interest  the  year  past,  I  could  not  but  be  grieved,  and 
 thought  I  had  much  rather  have  died;  for  it  distressed  me  to  think 
 of  getting  away  from  God.  But  before  I  went,  I  enjoyed  several 
 other  sweet  and  precious  seasons  of  communion  with  God,  (par- 
 ticularly Oct.  30,  and  Nov.  4,)  wherein  my  soul  enjoyed  unspeak- 
 able comfort. 
 J  "  I  returned  to  college  about  Nov.  6,  and,  through  the  goodness 
 
 I  of  God,  felt  the  power  of  religion  almost  daily,  for  the  space  of 
 six  weeks. — Nov.  28.  In  my  evening  devotion,  I  enjoyed  precious 
 discoveries  of  God,  and  was  unspeakably  refreshed  with  that 
 passage,  Heh.  xii.  22—24.  My  soul  longed  to  wing  away  to  the 
 paradise  of  God;  I  longed  to  be  conformed  to  God  in  all  things. — 
 A  day  or  two  after,  I  enjoyed  much  of  the  light  of  €rod's  counte- 
 nance, most  of  the  day;  and  my  soul  rested  in  God. 
 
 Dec.  9.  "  I  was  in  a  comfortable  frame  of  soul  most  of  the 
 day;  but  especially  in  evening  devotions,  when  God  was  pleased 
 wonderfully  to  assist  and  strengthen  me  ;  so  that  I  thought  nothing 
 should  ever  move  me  from  the  love  of  God  in  Christ  Jesus  my 
 Lord. — Oh!  one  houriuith  (roe/ infinitely  exceeds  all  the  pleasures 
 and  delights  of  this  lower  world. 
 
 "Towards  the  latter  end  of  January,  1741,  I  grew  more  cold 
 and  dull  in  religion,   by   means  of  my  old  temptation,  viz.    ambi- 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  51 
 
 tion  in  my  studies. — But  through  divine  goodness,  a  great  and 
 general  Aivakening  spread  itself  over  the  college,  about  the  latter 
 end  of  February,  in  which  I  was  much  quickened,  and  more 
 abundantly  engaged  in  religion." 
 
 This  awakening  was  at  the  beginning  of  that  extraordinary  re-  j 
 ligious  commotion,  through  the  land,  v>'hich  is  fresh  in  every  one's 
 memory.  It  was  for  a  time  very  great  and  general  at  New-Haven; 
 and  the  college  had  no  small  share  in  it.  That  society  was  greatly 
 reformed  ;  the  students,  in  general,  became  serious,  many  of  them 
 remarkably  so,  and  much  engaged  in  the  concerns  of  their  eternal 
 salvation.  However  undesirable  the  issue  of  the  awakenings  of 
 that  day  have  appeared  in  many  others,  there  have  been  manifest- 
 ly happy  and  abiding  effects  of  the  impressions  then  made  on  the 
 minds  of  many  of  the  members  of  that  college.  By  all  that  I 
 can  learn  concerning  Brainerd,  there  can  be  no  reason  to  doubt 
 but  that  he  had  much  of  God's  gracious  presence,  and  of  the 
 lively  actings  of  true  grace,  at  that  time;  yet  he  was  afterwards 
 abundantly  sensible,  that  his  religious  experiences  and  affections 
 at  that  time  were  not  free  from  a  corrupt  mixture,  nor  hi>;  conduct 
 to  be  acquitted  from  many  things  that  were  imprudent  and  blame- 
 able  ;  which  he  greatly  lamented  himself,  and  was  desirous  that 
 others  should  not  make  an  ill  use  of  such  an  example.  Hence, 
 although  at  the  time  he  kept  a  constant  diary,  containing  a  very 
 particular  account  of  what  passed  from  day  to  day,  for  the  next 
 thirteen  months,  from  the  latter  end  of  Jan.  1741,  forementioned, 
 in  two  small  books,  which  he  called  the  two  first  volumes  of  his 
 diary,  next  following  the  account  before  given  of  his  convictions, 
 conversion,  and  consequent  comforts ;  yet,  when  he  lay  on  his 
 death-bed,  he  gave  orders  (unknown  to  me  till  after  his  death)  that 
 these  two  volumes  should  be  distroyed;  and  in  the  beginning  of 
 the  third  book  of  his  diary,  he  wrote  thus,  (by  the  hand  of  anoth- 
 er, he  not  being  able  to  write  himself,)  "The  two  preceding  vol- 
 umes, immediately  following  the  account  of  the  author's  conver- 
 sion, are  lost.  If  any  are  desirous  to  know  how  the  author  lived, 
 in  general,  during  that  space  of  time,  let  them  read  the  first  thir- 
 ty pages  of  this  volume;  where  they  will  find  somewhat  of  a 
 specimen  of  his  ordinary  manner  of  living,  through  that  whole 
 space  of  time,  which  was  about  thirteen  months ;  except  that 
 here  he  was  more  refined  from  some  imprudences  and  indecent 
 heats,  than  there ;  but  the  spirit  of  devotion  running  through  the 
 whole,  was  the  same." 
 
 It  could  not  be  otherwise  than  that  one  whose  heart  had  been  so 
 prepared  and  drawn  to  God,  as  Brainerd's  had  been,  should  be 
 
X 
 
 52  JVIExVrOlRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 mightily  enlarged,  animated,  and  engaged  at  the  sight  of  such  an 
 alteration  made  in  tiie  college,  the  town,  and  country  ;  and  so 
 great  an  appearance  of  men  reforn)ing  their  lives,  and  turning  from 
 their  profaneness  and  immorality,  to  seriousness  and  concern  for 
 their  salvation,  and  of  religion  reviving  and  flourishing  almost  ev- 
 ery where.  But  as  an  intemperate  imprudent  zeal,  and  a  degree 
 of  enthusiasm  soon  crept  in,  and  mingled  itself  with  that  revival 
 of  religion;  and  so  great  and  general  an  awakening  being  quite  a 
 new  thing  in  the  land,  at  least  as  to  all  the  living  inhabitants  of  it; 
 neither  people  nor  ministers  had  learned  thoroughly  to  distinguish 
 between  solid  religion  and  its  delusive  counterfeits.  Even  many 
 ministers  of  the  gospel,  of  long  standing  and  the  best  reputation, 
 were  for  a  time  overpowered  with  the  glaring  appearances  of  the 
 latter;  and  therefore,  surely  it  w^as  not  to  be  wondered  at,  that 
 young  Brainerd,  but  a  sophomore  at  college,  should  be  so  ;  who 
 was  not  only  young  in  years,  but  very  young  in  religion  and  ex- 
 perience. He  had  enjoyed  but  Httle  advantage  for  the  study  of 
 divinity,  and  still  less  for  observing  the  circumstances  and  events 
 of  such  an  extraordinary  state  of  things.  To  think  it  strange,  a 
 man  must  divest  himself  of  all  reason.  In  these  disadvantageous 
 circumstances,  Brainerd  had  the  unhappiness  to  have  a  tincture 
 of  that  intemperate,  indiscreet  zeal,  which  was  at  that  time  too 
 prevalent;  and  was  led,  from  his  high  opinion  of  others  whom  he 
 looked  upon  as  better  than  himself,  into  such  errors  as  we"e  really 
 contrary  to  the  habitual  temper  of  his  mind.  One  instance  of  his 
 misconduct  at  that  time,  gave  great  offence  to  the  rulers  of  the 
 college,  even  to  that  degree  that  they  expelled  him  the  society ; 
 which  it  is  necessary  should  be  here  particularly  related,  with  its 
 circumstances. 
 
 During  the  awakening  at  college,  there  were  several  religious 
 students  who  associated  together  for  mutual  conversation  and  as- 
 si-tance  in  spiritual  things.  These  were  wont  freely  to  open  them- 
 selves one  to  another,  as  special  and  intimate  friends  :  Brainerd 
 was  one  of  this  company.  And  it  once  happened,  that  he  and 
 two  or  three  more  of  these  intimate  friends  were  in  the  hall  to- 
 gether, after  Mr.  VVhittelsey,  one  of  the  tutors,  had  engaged  in 
 prayer  with  the  scholars;  no  other  person  now  remaining  in  the 
 hall  but  Brainerd  and  his  companions.  Mr.  Whittelsey  having 
 been  unusually  pathetic  in  his  prayer,  one  of  Brainerd's  friends 
 on  this  occasion  asked  him  what  he  thought  of  Mr.  Whittelsey; 
 he  made  answer,  "He  has  no  more  grace  than  this  chair."  One 
 of  ihe  freshmen  happening  at  that  time  to  be  near  the  hall,  (though 
 not  in  the  room,)  over-heard  these  words.  This  person,  though 
 be  heard  no  name  mentioned,  and  knew  not  who  was  thus  censur- 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  63 
 
 ed,  informed  a  certain  woman  in  the  town,  withal  telling  her  his 
 own  suspicion,  viz.  that  he  believed  Brainerd  said  this  of  some 
 one  or  other  of  the  rulers  of  the  college.  Whereupon  she  went 
 and  informed  the  Rector,  who  sent  for  this  freshman  and  examin- 
 ed him.  He  told  the  Rector  the  words  which  he  heard  Brainerd 
 utter;  and  informed  him  who  were  in  the  room  with  him  at  that  time. 
 Upon  this  the  Rector  sent  for  them.  They  were  very  backward 
 to  inform  against  their  friend  respecting  what  they  looked  upon  as 
 private  conversation;  especially  as  none  but  they  had  heard  or 
 knew  of  whom  he  had  uttered  those  words ;  yet  the  Rector 
 compelled  them  to  declare  lohat  he  said,  and  oi  whom  he  said  it. — 
 Brainerd  looked  on  himself  as  very  ill  used  in  the  management  of 
 this  affair ;  and  thought  that  it  was  injuriously  extorted  from  his 
 friends,  and  then  injuriously  required  of  him — as  if  he  had  been 
 guilty  of  some  open,  notorious  crime — to  make  a  public  confes- 
 sion, and  to  humble  himself  before  the  whole  college  in  the  hall, 
 for  what  he  had  said  only  in  private  conversation. — He  not  com- 
 plying with  this  demand,  and  having  gone  once  to  the  separate 
 meeting  at  New-Haven,  when  forbidden  by  the  Rector  ;  and  also 
 having  been  accused  by  one  person  of  saying  concerning  the  Rec- 
 tor, "that  he  wondered  he  did  not  expect  to  drop  down  dead  for 
 fining  the  scholars  who  followed  Mr.  Tennenl  to  Milford,  though 
 there  was  no  proof  of  it;  (and  Brainerd  ever  professed  that  he 
 did  not  remember  his  saying  any  thing  to  that  purpose ;)  for  these 
 things  he  was  expelled  the  college. 
 
 How  far  the  circumstances  and  exigencies  of  that  day  might 
 justify  such  great  severity  in  the  governors  of  the  college,  I  will 
 not  undertake  to  determine  ;  it  being  my  aim,  not  to  bring  re- 
 proach on  the  authority  of  the  college,  but  only  to  do  justice  to 
 the  memory  of  a  person,  who  was,  I  think,  eminently  one  of 
 those  whose  memory  is  blessed. — The  reader  will  see,  in  the  se- 
 quel of  the  story  of  Brainerd's  life,*  what  his  own  thoughts  af- 
 terwards were  of  his  behaviour  in  these  things,  and  in  how  Chris- 
 tian a  manner  he  conducted  himself,  with  respect  to  this  affair  ; 
 though  he  ever,  as  long  as  he  lived,  supposed  himself  ill  used  in 
 the  management  of  it,  and  in  what  he  suffered. — His  expulsion 
 was  in  the  winter,   1742,  while  in  his  third  year  at  college. 
 
 ^-  Particuhrly  under  the  date,  Sept.  i^,  1743. 
 
CHAPTER  11. 
 
 From  about  the  time  rvhen  he  began  the  study  of  Theology^  to  his  Licen- 
 
 sure. 
 
 In  the  Spring  of  1742,  Brainerd  went  to  live  with  the  Rev. 
 Mr.  Mills  of  Ripton,  to  pursue  his  studies  with  him,  for  the  work 
 of  the  ministry.  Here  he  spent  the  greater  part  of  the  time 
 until  the  Association  licensed  him  to  preach;  but  frequently  rode 
 to  visit  the  neighbourinsj  ministers,  particularly  Mr.  Cooke  of 
 Stratford,  Mr.  Graham  of  Southbury,  and  Mr.  Bellamy  of  Beth- 
 lehem. While  with  Mr.  Mills,  he  began  the  third  book  of  his  di- 
 ary in  which  the  account  he  wrote  of  himself,  is  as  follows  : 
 
 f 
 
 Aprils  1,  1742.  "I  seem  to  be  declining,  with  respect  to  my 
 life  and  warmth  in  divine  things;  and  have  had  not  so  free  ac- 
 cess to  God  in  prayer,  as  usual  of  late.  Oh  that  God  would  hum- 
 ble me  deeply  in  the  dust  before  him!  I  deserve  hell  every  day, 
 for  not  loving  my  Lord  more,  who  has,  I  trust,  loved  me,  and  giv- 
 en himself  for  me;  and  every  time  I  am  enabled  to  exercise  any 
 grace  renewedly,  I  am  renewedly  indebted  to  the  God  of  all 
 grace  for  special  assistance.  Where  then  is  boasting?  Surely  it  is 
 excluded,  when  we  think  how  we  are  dependent  on  God  for  the 
 existence  and  every  act  of  grace.  O  if  ever  I  get  to  heaven,  it 
 will  be  because  God  pleases  and  nothing  else  ;  for  I  never  did  any 
 thing  of  myself,  but  get  away  from  God  !  My  soul  will  be  as- 
 tonished at  the  unsearchable  riches  of  divine  grace,  when  I  ar- 
 rive at  the  mansions,  which  the  blessed  Saviour  is  gone  before 
 to  prepare. 
 
 April  2.  "  In  the  afternoon,  I  felt  in  secret  prayer,  much  re- 
 signed, calm  and  serene.  What  are  all  the  storms  of  this  lower 
 world,  if  Jesiis'  by  his  spirit  does  but  come  walking  on  the  seas! — 
 Sometime  past,  1  had  much  pleasure  in  the  prospect  of  the  Hea- 
 then being  brought  home  to  Christ,  and  desired  that  the  Lord 
 would  employ  me  in  that  work  :  but  now  my  soul  more  frequently 
 desires  to  die,  to  be  zvilh  Christ,  Oh  that  my  soul  were  wrapt 
 np  in  divine  love,  and  my  longitig  desires  after  God  increased! 
 In  the  evening,  was  refreslied  in  prayer,  with  the  hopes  of  the 
 advancement  of  Christ's  kingdom  in  the  world. 
 
 April  3.  *•  Was  very  much  amiss  this  moriiing,  and  had  a  bad 
 night.  I  thought,  if  God  would  take  me  to  himself  vioru,  my  soul 
 would  exceedingly  rejoice.     Oh  that  I  may   be  always  humble 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  53 
 
 and  resigned  to  God,  and  that  he  would  cause  my  soul  to  be  more 
 fixed  on  himself,  that  I  may  be  more  fitted  both  for  doing  and  suf- 
 fering. 
 
 Lord^s  day,  April  4.  "  My  heart  was  wandering  and  lifeless. 
 In  the  evening  God  gave  me  faith  in  prayer,  made  my  soul  melt 
 in  some  measure,  and  gave  me  to  taste  a  divine  sweetness.  O 
 my  blessed  God!  Let  me  climb  up  near  to  him,  and  love,  and 
 long,  and  plead,  and  wrestle,  and  stretch  after  him,  and  for  deliv- 
 erance from  the  body  of  sin  and  death. — Alas  !  my  soul  mourned 
 to  think  I  should  ever  lose  sight  of  its  beloved  again.  "  O  come, 
 Lord  Jesus,  Amen." 
 
 On  the  evening  of  the  7iext  day^  he  complains,  that  he  seemed 
 to  be  void  of  all  relish  of  divine  things,  felt  much  of  the  preva- 
 lence of  corruption,  and  saw  in  himself  a  disposition  to  all  man- 
 ner of  sin;  which  brought  a  very  great  gloom  on  his  mind,  and 
 cast  him  down  into  the  depths  of  melancholy ;  so  that  he  speaks 
 of  himself  as  amazed,  having  no  comfort,  but  filled  with  horror, 
 seeing  no  comfort  in  heaven  or  earlli. 
 
 April  6.  "  T  walked  out  this  morning  to  the  same  place  where 
 I  was  last  night,  and  felt  as  I  did  then  ;  but  was  somewhat  relieved 
 by  reading  some  passages  in  my  diary,  and  seemed  to  feel  as  if  I 
 might  pray  to  the  great  God  again  with  freedom  ;  but  was  sud- 
 denly struck  with  a  damp,  from  the  sense  I  had  of  my  own  vile- 
 ness. — Then  I  cried  to  God  to  cleanse  me  from  my  exceeding 
 filthiness,  to  give  me  repentance  and  pardon.  I  then  began  to 
 find  it  sweet  to  pray;  and  could  think  of  undergoing  the  greatest 
 sufferings,  in  the  cause  of  Christ,  with  pleasure  ;  and  found  my- 
 self willing,  if  God  should  so  order  it,  to  suffer  banishment  from 
 my  native  land,  among  the  Heathen,  that  I  might  do  something 
 for  their  salvation,  in  distresses  and  deaths  of  any  kind. — Then 
 God  gave  me  to  wrestle  earnestly  for  others,  for  the  kingdom  of 
 Christ  in  the  world,  and  for  dear  Christian  friends. — I  felt  wean- 
 ed from  the  world,  and  from  my  own  reputation  amongst  men,  wil- 
 ling to  be  despised,  and  to  be  a  gazing  stock  for  the  world  to  be- 
 hold.— It  is  impossible  for  me  to  express  how  I  then  felt :  I  had 
 not  much  joy,  but  some  sense  of  the  majesty  of  God,  which  made 
 me  as  it  were  tremble.  I  saw  myself  mean  and  vile,  which  made 
 me  more  willing  that  God  should  do  what  he  would  with  me  ;  it 
 was  all  infinitely  reasonable. 
 
 April  7.  '*  I  had  not  so  much  fervency,  but  felt  somewhat  as  I 
 did  yesterday  morning,  in  prayer. — At  noon  I  spent  some  time  in 
 secret,  with  some  fervency,  but  scarce  any  sweetness ;  and  felt 
 very  dull  in  the  evening. 
 
56  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 April  8.  •'  Had  raised  hopes  to-day  respecting  the  Heathen. 
 Oh  that  God  would  bring  in  great  numbers  of  them  to  Jesus 
 Christ!  I  cannot  but  hope  that  I  shall  see  that  glorious  day. — 
 Every  thing  in  this  world  seems  exceeding  vile  and  little  to  me  : 
 1  look  so  on  myself. — I  had  some  little  dawn  of  comfort  to-day  in 
 prayer ;  but  especially  to-night,  I  think  I  had  some  faith  and  power 
 of  intercession  with  God.  I  was  enabled  to  plead  with  God  for 
 the  growth  of  grace  in  myself;  and  many  of  the  dear  children  of 
 God  then  lay  with  weight  upon  my  soul.  Blessed  be  the  Lord ! 
 It  is  good  to  wrestle  for  divine  blessings. 
 
 April  9.  "  Most  of  my  time  in  morning  devotion  was  spent 
 without  sensible  sweetness  ;  yet  I  had  one  elightful  prospect  of 
 arriving  at  the  heavenly  world.  I  am  more  amazed  than  ever  at 
 such  thoughts  ;  for  I  see  myself  infinitely  vile  and  unworthy.  I 
 feel  very  heartless  and  dull  ;  and  though  I  long  for  the  presence 
 of  God,  and  seem  constantly  to  reach  towards  God  in  desires  ; 
 yet  I  cannot  feel  that  divine  and  heavenly  sweetness  that  I  used 
 to  enjoy. — No  poor  creature  stands  in  need  of  divine  grace  more 
 than  I,  and  none  abuse  it  more  than  I  have  done,  and  still  do. 
 
 April  10.  ''  Spent  much  time  in  secret  prayer  this  morning, 
 not  without  some  comfort  in  divine  things,  and  hope  I  had  some 
 faith  in  exercise;  but  am  so  low,  and  feel  so  little  of  the  sensible 
 presence  of  God,  that  I  hardly  know  what  to  call  faith,  and  am 
 made  to  possess  the  sins  of  my  youth,  and  the  dreadful  sin  of  my 
 nature.  I  am  all  sin  ;  I  cannot  think  nor  act,  but  every  motion  is 
 sin.  I  feel  some  faint  hopes,  that  God  will,  of  his  infinite  mercy, 
 return  again  with  showers  of  converting  grace  to  poor  gospel-abus- 
 ing sinners;  and  my  hopes  of  being  employed  in  the  cause  of 
 God,  which  of  late  have  been  almost  extinct,  seem  now  a  little 
 revived.  Oh  that  all  my  late  distresses  and  awful  apprehensions, 
 might  prove  but  Christ's  school,  to  make  me  fit  for  greater  ser- 
 vice, by  teaching  me  the  great  lesson  of  humility  ! 
 
 Lord^s  Defy,  April  11.  "In  the  morning,  I  felt  but  little  life,  ex- 
 cept that  my  heart  was  somewhat  drawn  out  in  thankfulness  to 
 God,  for  his  amazing  grace  and  condescension  to  me,  in  past  in- 
 ilueiices  and  assistances  of  his  spirit.  Afterwards,  I  had  some 
 sweetness  in  the  thoughts  of  arriving  at  the  heavenly  ivorld.  O 
 for  the  happy  day!  After  public  worship,  God  gave  me  special 
 assistance  in  prayer;  I  wrestled  with  my  dear  liord,  with  much 
 sweetness  ;  and  intercession  was  made  a  delightful  employment  to 
 me.  In  the  evening,  as  1  was  viewing  the  light  in  the  north,  I  was 
 -delighted  in  contemplation  on  the  glorious  morning  of  the  Resur- 
 rection. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  67 
 
 April  12.  "  This  morning  the  Lord  was  pleased  to  lift  up  the 
 light  of  his  countenance  upon  me  in  secret  prayer,  and  made  the 
 season  very  precious  to  my  soul.  Though  I  have  been  so  depres- 
 sed of  late,  respecting  my  hopes  of  future  serviceableness  in  the 
 cau«e  of  God ;  yet  now  I  had  much  encouragement  respecting 
 that  matter.  I  was  especially  assisted  to  intercede  and  plead  for 
 poor  souls,  and  for  the  enlargement  of  Christ's  kingdom  in  the 
 world,  and  for  special  grace  for  myself,  to  fit  me  for  special  servi- 
 ces. I  felt  exceedingly  calm,  and  quite  resigned  to  God,  respect- 
 ing my  future  employment,  ivhen  and  where  he  pleased.  My  faith 
 lifted  me  above  the  world,  and  removed  all  those  mountains  over 
 which  of  late  I  could  not  look.  I  wanted  not  the  favour  of  man 
 to  lean  upon;  for  I  knew  that  Christ's  favour  was  infinitely  better, 
 and  that  it  was  no  matter  when  nor  where,  nor  how  Christ  should 
 send  me,  nor  what  trials  he  should  still  exercise  me  with,  if  I  might 
 be  prepared  for  his  work  and  will.  I  now  found  revived  in  my 
 mind,  the  wonderful  discovery  of  infinite  ivisdom  in  all  the  dis- 
 pensations of  God  towards  me,  which  I  had,  a  httle  before  I  met 
 with  my  great  trial  at  college;  every  thing  appeared  full  of  divine 
 wisdom. 
 
 April  13.  "I  saw  myself  to  be  very  mean  and  vile;  and 
 wondered  at  those  who  showed  me  respect.  Afterwards  I  was 
 somewhat  comforted  in  secret  retirement,  and  assisted  to  wrestle 
 with  God,  with  some  power,  spirituality,  and  sweetness.  Blessed 
 be  the  Lord,  he  is  never  unmindful  of  me,  but  always  sends  me 
 needed  supplies;  and,  from  time  to  time,  when  I  am  like  one 
 dead,  he  raises  me  to  life.  Oh  that  I  may  never  distrust  Infinite 
 goodness! 
 
 Api^il  14.  "My  soul  longed  for  communion  with  Christ,  and 
 for  the  mortification  of  indwelling  corruption,  especially  spiritual 
 pride.  O,  there  is  a  sweet  day  coming,  wherein  the  weary  will 
 he  at  rest!  My  soul  has  enjoyed  much  sweetness  this  day,  in  the 
 hopes  of  its  speedy  arrival. 
 
 April  15.  "My  desires  apparently  centered  in  God;  and  I 
 found  a  sensible  attraction  of  soul  after  him  sundry  times  to- 
 day. I  know  that  I  long  for  God,  and  a  conformity  to  his  will, 
 in  inward  purity  and  holiness,  ten  thousand  times  more  than  for 
 any  thing  here  below. 
 
 April  I Q  a.nd  n ,  "I  seldom  prayed  without  some  sensible 
 joy  in  the  Lord.  Sometimes  I  longed  much  to  be  dissolved  and 
 to  he  with  Christ.  Oh  that  God  would  enable  me  to  grov/  in  grace 
 every  day !  Alas !  my  barrenness  is  such,  that  God  might  well 
 say,  Cut  it  down,  I  am  afraid  of  a  dead  heart  on  the  Sabbath 
 now  begun.     Oh  that  God  would  quicken  me  by  his  grace  ! 
 
 8 
 
68  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 Lord''s  day,  April  18.  "I  retired  early  this  morning  into  the 
 woods  for  prayer ;  had  the  assistance  of  God's  Spirit,  and  faith  in 
 exercise  ;  and  was  enabled  to  plead  with  ferv^ency  for  the  ad- 
 vancement of  Christ's  kingdom  in  the  world,  and  to  intercede  for 
 dear,  absent  friends.  At  noon,  God  enabled  me  to  wrestle  with 
 him,  and  to  feel,  as  I  trust,  the  power  of  divine  love,  in  prayer. 
 At  night,  I  saw  myself  infinitely  indebted  to  God,  and  had  a  view 
 of  my  failures  in  duty.  It  seemed  to  me,  that  I  had  done,  as  it 
 were,  nothing  for  God,  and  that  1  never  had  lived  to  him  but  a 
 few  hours  of  my  life. 
 
 April  19.  *'I  set  apart  this  day  for  fasting  and  prayer  to  God 
 for  his  grace ;  especially  to  prepare  me  for  the  work  of  the  min- 
 istry; to  give  me  divine  aid  and  direction,  in  my  preparations  for 
 that  great  work  ;  and  in  his  own  time  to  send  me  into  his  harvest. 
 Accordingly,  in  the  morning,  1  endeavoured  to  plead  for  the  di- 
 vine presence  for  the  day,  and  not  without  some  life.  In  the 
 forenoon,  I  felt  the  power  of  intercession  for  precious,  immor- 
 tal souls;  for  the  advancement  of  the  kingdom  of  my  dear  Lord 
 and  Saviour  in  the  world  ;  and  withal,  a  most  sweet  resignation, 
 and  even  consolation  and  joy,  in  the  thoughts  of  suffering  hard- 
 ships, distresses,  and  even  death  itself,  in  the  promotion  of  it; 
 and  had  peculiar  enlargement  in  pleading  for  the  enlightening  and 
 conversion  of  the  poor  Heathen.  In  the  afternoon,  God  was  with 
 me  of  a  truth.  O,  it  was  blessed  company  indeed  !  God  enabled 
 me  so  to  agonize  in  prayer,  that  I  was  quite  wet  wMth  perspiration, 
 though  in  the  shade,  and  the  cool  wind.  My  soul  was  drawn  out 
 very  much  from  the  world,  for  multitudes  of  souls.  I  think  I  had 
 more  enlargement  for  sinners,  than  for  the  children  of  God ; 
 though  I  felt  as  if  I  could  spend  my  life  in  cries  for  both.  I 
 enjoyed  great  sweetness  in  communion  with  my  dear  Saviour. 
 I  think  I  never  in  my  life  felt  such  an  entire  weanedness  from  this 
 world,  and  so  much  resigned  to  God  in  every  thing.  Oh  that  I 
 may  always  live  to  and  upon  my  blessed  God !  Amen,  Amen. 
 
 April  20.  "This  day,  I  am  twenty-four  years  of  age.  O 
 how  much  mercy  have  I  received  the  year  past!  How  often  has 
 God  caused  his  goodness  to  pass  before  me!  And  how  poorly  have 
 I  answered  the  vows  I  made  this  time  twelve-month,  to  be  wholly 
 the  liord's,  to  be  forever  devoted  to  his  service  !  The  Lord  help 
 me  to  live  more  to  his  glory  for  the  lime  to  come.  This  has  been 
 a  sweet,  a  happy  day  to  me ;  blessed  be  God.  I  think  my  soul 
 was  never  so  drawn  out  in  intercession  for  others^  as  it  has  been 
 this  night.  Had  a  most  fervent  wrestle  with  the  Lord  to-night 
 for  my  enemies;  and  I  hardly  ever  so  longed  to  lire  to   God,  and 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  59 
 
 to  be  altogether  devoted  to  him ;  I  wanted  to  wear  out  my  life  in 
 his  service,  and  for  his  glory. 
 
 April  2\.  "Felt  much  calmness  and  resignation  ;  and  God 
 again  enabled  me  to  wrestle  for  numbers  of  souls,  and  had  much 
 fervency  in  the  sweet  duty  of  intercession.  I  enjoyed  of  late 
 more  sweetness  in  intercession  for  others,  than  in  any  other  part 
 of  prayer.  My  blessed  Lord  really  let  me  come  near  to  him  and 
 plead  with  him.^"* 
 
 The  frame  of  mind,  and  exercises  of  soul,  which  he  expresses 
 the  three  days  next  following^  are  much  of  ihe  same  kind,  with 
 those  expressed  the  two  day's  past. 
 
 hordes  day,  April  25.  "This  morning,  I  spent  about  two 
 hours  in  secret  duties,  and  was  enabled,  more  than  ordinarily,  to 
 agonize  for  immortal  souls;  though  it  was  early  in  the  morning, 
 and  the  sun  scarcely  shined  at  all,  yet  my  body  was  quite  wet 
 with  sweat.  I  felt  much  pressed  now,  as  frequently  of  late,  to 
 plead  for  the  meekness  and  calmness  of  the  Lamb  of  God  in  my 
 soul ;  and  through  divine  goodness,  felt  much  of  it  this  morning. 
 O  it  is  a  sweet  disposition,  heartily  to  forgive  all  injuries  done  us; 
 to  wish  our  greatest  enemies  as  well,  as  we  do  our  own  souls ! 
 Blessed  Jesus,  may  I  daily  be  more  and  more  conformed  to  thee! 
 At  night,  I  was  exceedingly  melted  with  divine  love,  and  had  some 
 feeling  sense  of  the  blessedness  of  the  upper  world.  Those 
 words  hung  upon  me,  with  much  divine  sweetness,  Psal.  Ixxxiv. 
 7.  They  go  from  strength  to  strength,  every  one  of  them  in  Zion 
 appeareth  before  God.  O  the  near  access  that  God  sometimes 
 gives  us  in  our  addresses  to  him!  This  may  well  be  termed  ap- 
 pearing before  God:  it  is  so  indeed,  in  the  true  spiritual  sense, 
 and  in  the  sweetest  sense.  I  think  that  I  have  not  had  such  pow- 
 er of  intercession  these  many  months,  both  for  God's  children, 
 and  for  dead  sinners,  as  I  have  had  this  evening.  I  wished  and 
 longed  for  the  coming  of  my  dear  Lord :  I  longed  to  join  the  an- 
 gelic hosts  in  praises,  wholly  free  from  imperfection.  O,  the 
 blessed  moment  hastens !  All  I  want  is  to  be  more  holy,  more 
 like  my  dear  Lord.  Oh  for  sanctification  !  My  very  soul  pants 
 for  the  complete  restoration  of  the  blessed  image  of  my  Saviour; 
 that  I  may  be  fit  for  the  blessed  enjoyments  and  employments  of 
 the  heavenly  world. 
 
 "Farewell,  vain  world;  my  soul  can  bid  Adieu  ; 
 "Your  Saviour  taught  me  to  abandon  you. 
 "  Your  charms  may  gratify  a  sensual  mind  : 
 "  But  cannot  please  a  soul  for  God  design' d. 
 
60  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERO. 
 
 "  Forbear  t'  entice,  cease  then  my  soul  to  call  : 
 "  'Tis  fix'd  through  grace  ;  my  God  shall  be  my  all. 
 "  While  he  thus  lets  me  heavenly  glories  view, 
 "Your  beauties  fade,  my  heart's  no  room  for  you." 
 
 "  The  Lord  refreshed  my  soul  with  many  sweet  passages  of 
 his  word.  O  the  New  Jerusalem  !  my  soul  longed  for  it.  O  the 
 song  of  Moses  and  the  Lamb  !  And  that  blessed  song,  that  no 
 man  can  learn,  but  they  who  are  redeemed  from  the  earth  I  and 
 the  glorious  white  robes,  that  were  given  to  the  souls  under  the 
 altar ! 
 
 ''Lord,  Vm  a  stranger  here  alone  J 
 "  Earth  no  true  comforts  can  afford  ' 
 "  Yet,  absent  from  my  dearest  one, 
 "  My  soul  delights  to  cry  '  My  Lord !' 
 "Jesus,  my  Lord,  my  only  love^ 
 "  Possess  my  soul,  nor  thence  depart : 
 "  Grant  me  kind  visits,  heavenly  dove  ; 
 "My  God  shall  then  have  all  my  heart." 
 
 April  26.  '•  Continued  in  a  sweet  frame  of  mind  ;  but  in  the 
 afternoon,  felt  somewhat  of  spiritual  pride  stirring.  God  was 
 pleased  to  make  it  a  humbling  season  at  first ;  though  afterwards 
 he  gave  me  sweetness.  O  my  soul  exceedingly  longs  for  that 
 blessed  state  of  perfect  deliverance  from  all  sin !  At  night,  God 
 enabled  me  to  give  my  soul  up  to  him,  to  cast  myself  upon  him, 
 to  be  ordered  and  disposed  of  according  to  his  sovereign  pleas- 
 ure ;  and  I  enjoyed  great  peace  and  consolation  in  so  doing.  My 
 soul  took  sweet  delight  in  God  ;  my  thoughts  freely  and  sweetly 
 centered  in  him.  O  that  I  could  spend  every  moment  of  my 
 life  to  his  glory! 
 
 April  27.  "I  retired  pretty  early  for  secret  devotions;  and  in 
 prayer,  God  was  pleased  to  pour  such  ineffable  comforts  into  my 
 soul,  that  I  could  do  nothing  for  some  time  but  say  over  and  over, 
 *  O  my  sweet  Saviour !  O  my  sweet  Saviour !  whom  have  I  in 
 Heaven  but  theef  and  there  is  none  upon  earth  that  I  desire  be- 
 side thee.'  If  I  had  had  a  thousand  lives,  my  soul  would  gladly 
 have  laid  them  all  down  at  once,  to  have  been  with  Christ.  My 
 soul  never  enjoyed  so  much  of  heaven  before ;  it  was  the  most 
 refined  and  most  spiritual  season  of  communion  with  God,  I  ever 
 yet  felt.  I  never  felt  so  great  a  degree  of  resignation  in  my  life. 
 in  the  afternoon,  I  withdrew,  to  meet  with  my  God,  but  found  my- 
 self much  declined,  and  God  made  it  a  humbling  season  to  my 
 soul.  I  mourned  over  the  body  of  death  that  is  in  me.  It  grieved 
 mc  exceedingly,  that  I  could  not  pray  to  and  praise  God  with  my 
 heart  full  of  divine  heavenly  love.  Oh  that  my  soul  might  never 
 offer  any  dead,  cold  services  to  my  God !     In  the  evening  had  not 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  61 
 
 so  much  divine  love,  as  in  the  morning ;  but  had  a  sweet  season 
 of  fervent  intercession. 
 
 April  28.  "I  withdrew  to  my  usual  place  of  retirement,  in 
 great  peace  and  tranquillity,  spent  about  two  hours  in  secret  du- 
 ties, and  felt  much  as  I  did  yesterday  morning,  only  weaker,  and 
 more  overcome.  I  seemed  to  depend  wholly  on  my  dear  Lord  ; 
 wholly  weaned  from  all  other  dependences.  I  knew  not  what  to 
 say  to  my  God,  but  only  lean  on  his  bosom,  as  it  were,  and  breathe 
 out  my  desires  after  a  perfect  conformity  to  him  in  all  things. 
 Thirsting  desires,  and  insatiable  longings,  possessed  my  soul  after 
 perfect  holiness.  God  was  so  precious  to  my  soul,  that  the  world, 
 with  all  its  enjoyments,  was  infinitely  vile.  I  had  no  more  value 
 for  the  favour  of  men,  than  for  pebbles.  The  Lord  was  my  all, 
 and  that  he  over-ruled  all,  greatly  delighted  me.  I  think  that  my 
 faith  and  dependence  on  God,  scarce  ever  rose  so  high.  I  saw 
 him  such  a  Fountain  of  goodness,  that  it  seemed  impossible  I 
 should  distrust  him  again,  or  be  any  way  anxious  about  any  thing 
 that  should  happen  to  me.  I  now  enjoyed  great  sweetness  in 
 praying  for  absent  friends,  and  for  the  enlargement  of  Christ's 
 kingdom  in  the  world.  Much  of  the  power  of  these  divine  en- 
 joyments remained  with  me  through  the  day.  In  the  evening, 
 my  heart  seemed  to  melt,  and  I  trust  was  really  humbled  for  in- 
 dwelling corruption,  and  I  mourned  like  a  dove.  I  felt  that  all  my 
 unhappiness  arose  from  my  being  a  sinner.  With  resignation,  I 
 could  bid  welcome  to  all  other  trials;  but  sin  hung  heavy  upon 
 me ;  for  God  discovered  to  me  the  corruption  of  my  heart.  I 
 went  to  bed  with  a  heavy  heart,  because  I  was  a  sinner;  though  I 
 did  not  in  the  least  doubt  of  God's  love.  O  that  God  would 
 purge  away  my  dross,  and  take  away  my  tin,  and  make  me  ten 
 times  refined ! 
 
 April  29.  "  I  was  kept  off  at  a  distance  from  God ; — ^but  had 
 some  enlargement  in  intercession  for  precious  souls. 
 
 April  30.  "  I  was  somewhat  dejected  in  spirit :  nothing  grieves 
 me  so  much,  as  that  I  cannot  live  constantly  to  God's  glory.  I 
 could  bear  any  desertion  or  spiritual  conflicts,  if  I  could  but  have 
 'my  heart  all  the  while  burning  within  me  with  love  to  God  and 
 desires  of  his  glory.  But  this  is  impossible  ;  for  when  I  feel 
 these,  I  cannot  be  dejected  in  my  soul,  but  only  rejoice  in  my 
 Saviour,  who  has  delivered  me  from  the  reigning  power,  and  will 
 shortly  deliver  me  from  the  indwelling  of  sin. 
 
 May  1 .  "I  was  enabled  to  cry  to  God  with  fervency  for  min- 
 isterial qualifications,  that  he  would  appear  for  the  advancement 
 of  his  own  kingdom,  and  that  he  would  bring  in  the  Heathen, 
 Had  much  assistance  in  my  studies.     This  has  been  a  profitable 
 
62  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 week  to  me  ;  I  have  enjoyed  many  communications  of  the  bless 
 ed  Spirit  in  my  soul. 
 
 Lord^s  day^  May  2.  "  God  was  pleased  this  morning  to  give 
 me  such  a  sight  of  myself,  as  made  me  appear  very  vile  in  my 
 own  eyes.  I  felt  corruption  stirring  in  my  heart,  which  I  could 
 by  no  means  suppress ;  felt  more  and  more  deserted  ;  Was  ex- 
 ceeding weak,  and  almost  sick  with  my  inward  trials. 
 
 May  3.  "  Had  a  sense  of  vile  ingratitude.  In  the  morning  I 
 withdrew  to  my  usual  place  of  retirement,  and  mourned  for  my 
 abuse  of  my  dear  Lord  ;  spent  the  day  in  fasting  and  prayer. 
 God  gave  me  much  power  of  wresthng  for  his  cause  and  king- 
 dom :  and  it  was  a  happy  day  to  my  soul.  God  was  with  me  all 
 the  day  ;  and  I  was  more  above  the  world,  than  ever  in  my  life.'' 
 
 Through  the  remaining  part  of  this  week,  he  complains  almost 
 every  day  of  desertion,  inward  trials  and  conflicts,  attended  with 
 dejection  of  spirit ;  yet  speaks  of  times  of  relief  and  sweetness, 
 and  daily  refreshing  visits  of  the  divine  Spirit,  affording  special 
 assistance  and  comfort,  and  enabling  him,  at  times,  to  enjoy  much 
 fervency  and  enlargement  in  religious  duties. 
 
 Lord's  day,  May  9.  "  I  think  I  never  felt  so  much  of  the  curs- 
 ed/>nV?e  of  my  heart,  as  well  as  the  stubbornness  of  my  will  be- 
 fore. O  dreadful,!  what  a  vile  wretch  I  am !  I  could  submit  to 
 be  nothing,  and  to  lie  down  in  the  dust.  Oh  that  God  would 
 humble  me  in  the  dust !  I  felt  myself  such  a  sinner,  all  day,  that 
 I  had  scarce  any  comfort.  Oh  when  shall  I  be  delivered  from  the 
 body  of  this  death!  I  greatly  feared,  lest  through  stupidity  and 
 carelessness  I  should  lose  the  benefit  of  these  trials.  Oh  that 
 they  might  be  sanctified  to  my  soul!  Nothing  seemed  to  touch 
 me  but  only  this,  that  I  was  a  sinner, — Had  fervency  and  refresh- 
 ment in  social  prayer  in  the  evening. 
 
 May  10.  "I  rode  to  New-Haven  ;  saw  some  christian  friends 
 there;  and  had  comfort  in  joining  in  prayer  with  them,  and  hear- 
 ing of  the  goodness  of  God  to  them,  since  I  last  saw  them. 
 
 May  11.  ''I  rode  from  New-Haven  to  Wethersfield ;  was 
 very  dull  most  of  the  day;  had  little  spirituality  in  this  journey, 
 though  1  often  longed  to  be  alone  with  God  ;  was  much  perplex- 
 ed with  vile  thoughts  ;  was  sometimes  afraid  of  every  thing  :  but 
 God  was  my  Helper,  Catched  a  little  time  for  retirement  in  the 
 evening,  to  my  comfort  and  rejoicing.  Alas!  1  cannot  live  in  the 
 midst  of  a  tumult.     I  long  to  enjoy  God  alone. 
 
 May  12.  "I  had  a  distressing  view  of  the  pride,  enmity  and 
 vileness  of  my  heart.  Afterwards  had  sweet  refreshment  in  con- 
 versing and  worshipping  God,  with  Christian  friends. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  63 
 
 May  1 3.  "  Saw  so  much  of  the  wickedness  of  my  heart,  that  I 
 longed  to  get  away  from  myself.  I  never  before  thought  that 
 there  was  so  much  spiritual ;?nV/e  in  my  soul.  I  felt  almost  press- 
 ed to  death  with  my  own  vileness.  O  what  a  body  of  death  is 
 there  in  me!  Lord^  deliver  my  soul!  I  could  not  find  any  con- 
 venient place  for  retirement,  and  was  greatly  exercised.  Rode 
 to  Hartford  in  the  afternoon  :  had  some  refreshment  and  comfort 
 in  religious  exercises  with  Christian  friends  ;  but  longed  for  more 
 .  retirement.  O  the  closest  walk  with  God  is  the  sweetest  heaven 
 /  that  can  be  enjoyed  on  earth ! 
 
 May  14.  ''I  waited  on  a  council  of  ministers  convened  at 
 Hartford,  and  spread  before  them  the  treatment  I  had  met  with 
 from  the  rector  and  tutors  of  Yale  College  ;  who  thought  it  ad- 
 viseable  to  intercede  for  me  with  the  rector  and  trustees,  and  to 
 intreat  them  to  restore  me  to  my  former  privileges  in  college.* 
 After  this,  spent  some  time  in  religious  exercises  with  christian 
 friends. 
 
 May  15.  "I  rode  from  Hartford  to  Hebron;  was  somewhat 
 dejected  on  the  road ;  appeared  exceeding  vile  in  my  own  eyes, 
 saw  much  pride  and  stubbornness  in  my  heart.  Indeed  I  never 
 saw  such  a  week  as  this  before;  for  I  have  been  almost  ready  to 
 die  with  the  view  of  the  wickedness  of  my  heart.  I  could  not 
 have  thought  I  had  such  a  body  of  death  in  me.  Oh  that  God 
 would  deliver  my  soul  P'' 
 
 The  three  next  days  (which  he  spent  at  Hebron,  Lebanon,  and 
 Norwich)  he  complains  still  of  dulness  and  desertion,  and  express- 
 es a  sense  of  his  vileness,  and  longing  to  hide  himself  in  some 
 cave  or  den  of  the  earth  :  but  yet  speaks  of  some  intervals  of 
 comfort  and  soul-refreshment  each  day. 
 
 May  19.     "  (At  Millington)   I  was  so  amazingly  deserted  this 
 morning,  that  I  seemed  to  feel  a  sort  of  horror  in  my  soul.  Alas  ! 
 /when  God  withdravTs,   what  is  there  that  can  afford  any  comfoit 
 Ito  the  soul!" 
 
 Through  the  eight  days  next  follozving,  he  expresses  more 
 calmness  and  comfort,  and  considerable  life,  fervency,  and  sweet- 
 ness in  religion. 
 
 May  28.  "  (At  New-Haven)  I  think  I  scarce  ever  felt  so  calm 
 in  my  life;  I  rejoiced  in  rcsigriation^  and  giving  myself  up  to  God, 
 to  be  wholly  and  entirely  devoted  to  him  for  ever." 
 
 *Thc  application,  which  was  then  made  on  hi?  behalf,  had  not  the  desix-erl  suc- 
 cess. 
 
64  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 On  the  three  follorcifig  dai/s,  there  was,  by  the  account  he 
 gives,  a  continuance  of  the  same  excellent  frame  of  mind,  last  ex- 
 pressed :  but  it  seems  not  to  be  altogether  to  so  great  a  degree. 
 
 June  1.  "  Had  much  of  the  presence  of  God  in  family  prayer, 
 and  had  some  comfort  in  secret.  I  was  greatly  refreshed  from 
 the  word  of  God  this  morning,  which  appeared  exceedingly  sweet 
 to  me  :  some  things  which  appeared  mysterious,  were  opened  to 
 me.  Oh  that  the  kingdom  of  the  dear  Saviour  might  come  with 
 power,  and  the  healing  waters  of  the  sanctuary  spread  far  and 
 wide  for  the  healing  of  the  nations ! — Came  to  Ripton  ;  but  was 
 very  weak.  However,  being  visited  by  a  number  of  young  peo- 
 ple in  the  evening,  I  prayed  with  them." 
 
 The  remaining  part  of  this  zceek,  he  speaks  of  being  much  di- 
 verted and  hindered  in  the  business  of  religion,  by  great  weak- 
 ness of  body,  and  necessary  affairs,  to  which  he  had  to  attend;  and 
 complains  of  having  but  little  power  in  religion ;  but  observes, 
 that  God  hereby  shewed  him,  that  he  was  like  a  helpless  infant 
 ^:ast  out  in  the  open  field. 
 
 Lordh  dai/,  June  6.  '*  I  feel  much  deserted  :  but  all  this  teach- 
 es me  my  nothingness  and  vileness  more  than  ever. 
 
 June  7.  "  Felt  still  powerless  in  secret  prayer.  Afterwards  I 
 prayed  and  conversed  with  some  little  life.  God  feeds  me  with 
 crumbs  :  blessed  be  his  name  for  any  thing.  I  felt  a  great  desire 
 ihat  all  God's  people  might  know  how  mean  and  little  and  vile  I 
 am  ;  that  they  might  see  I  am  nothing,  that  so  they  may  pray  for 
 me  aright,  and  not  have  the  least  dependence  upon  me. 
 
 June  8.  '•  I  enjoyed  one  sweet  and  precious  season  this  day:  1 
 never  felt  it  so  sweet  to  be  nothing,  and  less  than  nothing,  and  id 
 be  accounted  nothing." 
 
 The  three  next  days  he  complains  of  desertion,  and  want  of  fer- 
 vency in  religion  ;  but  yet  his  diary  shews  that  every  day  his  heart 
 was  engaged  in  religion,  as  his  great,  and,  as  it  were,  only  busi- 
 ness. 
 
 June  12.  "  Spent  much  time  in  prayer  this  morning,  and  en- 
 joyed much  sweetness  : — Felt  insatiablu  longings  after  God  much 
 of  the  day.  I  wondered  how  poor  souls  do  to  live,  that  have  n» 
 God.  The  world,  with  all  its  enjoyments,  quite  vanished.  I  see 
 myself  very  helpless  ;  but  1  have  a  blessed  God  to  go  to.  1  long- 
 ed exceedingly  to  he  dissolved,  and  to  be  with  Christ,  to  behold  hi* 
 glory.  O  my  weak,  weary  soul  longs  to  arrive  at  my  Father^s 
 house  ! 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  65 
 
 Lord^s  (lat/,  June  13.  "  Felt  somewhat  calm  and  resigned  in 
 the  public  worship  :  at  the  sacrament  saw  myself  very  vile  and 
 worthless.  Oh  that  I  may  always  lie  low  in  the  dust.  My  soul 
 seemed  steadily  to  go  forth  after  God,  in  longing  desires  to  live 
 upon  him. 
 
 June  14.  "  Felt  somewhat  of  the  sweetness  of  communion  with 
 God,  and  the  constraining  force  of  his  love  ;  how  admirably  it 
 captivates  the  soul,  and  makes  all  the  desires  and  affections  to 
 centre  in  God  ! — I  set  apart  this  day  for  secret  fasting  and  prayer, 
 to  intreat  God  to  direct  and  bless  me  with  regard  to  the  great 
 work  which  I  have  in  view,  o[  preaching  the  gospel — and  that  the 
 Lord  would  return  to  me,  and  sheiu  me  the  light  of  his  countenance* 
 Had  little  life  and  power  in  the  forenoon:  near  the  middle  uithe 
 afternoon,  God  enabled  me  to  wrestle  ardently  in  intercession  for 
 my  absent  friends  :  but  just  at  night,  the  Lord  visited  me  marvel- 
 lously in  prayer.  I  think  my  soul  never  was  in  such  an  agony 
 before.  I  felt  no  restraint ;  for  the  treasures  of  divine  grace 
 were  opened  to  me.  I  wrestled  for  absent  friends,  for  the  i:i;.ath- 
 ering  of  souls,  for  inuliitudes  of  poor  souls,  and  for  many  that  I 
 thought  were  the  children  of  God,  personally^  in  many  distant 
 places.  I  was  in  such  an  agony,  from  sun  half  an  hour  high,  till 
 near  dark,  that  I  was  all  over  wet  with  sweat :  but  yet  it  seemed 
 to  me  that  I  had  wasted  away  the  day,  and  had  done  nothing.  O 
 my  dear  Saviour  did  sweat  blood  for  poor  souls  !  I  longed  for 
 more  compassion  towards  them.  Felt  still  in  a  sweet  frame,  un- 
 der a  sense  of  divine  love  and  grace ;  and  went  to  bed  in  such  a 
 frame,  with  my  heart  set  on  God. 
 
 Jime  15.  "  Had  the  most  ardent  longings  after  God,  which  I 
 ever  felt  in  my  life.  At  noon,  in  my  secret  retirement,  I  could  do 
 nothing  but  tell  my  dear  Lord,  in  a  sweet  calm,  that  he  knew  I 
 desired  nothing  but  himself,  nothing  but  holiness^  that  he  had 
 given  me  these  desires,  and  he  oiily  could  give  me  the  thing  de- 
 sired. T  never  seemed  to  be  so  unhinged  from  myself  and  to  be 
 so  wholly  devoted  to  God.  My  heart  was  swallowed  up  in  God 
 most  of  the  day.  In  the  evening  I  had  such  a  view  of  the  soul 
 being  as  it  were  enlarged,  to  contain  more  holiness,  that  it  seem- 
 ed ready  to  separate  from  my  body.  I  then  wrestled  in  an  agony 
 for  divine  blessings  ;  had  my  heart  drawn  out  in  prayer  for  some 
 Christian  friends,  beyond  what  I  ever  had  before.  I  feel  differ- 
 ently now  from  what  I  ever  did  under  any  enjoyments  before  ; 
 more  engaged  to  live  to  God  for  ever,  and  less  pleased  with  my 
 own  frames.  I  am  not  satisfied  with  my  frames,  nor  feel  at  all 
 more  easy  after  such  strugglings  than  before  ;  for  it  seems  far  too 
 little,  if  I  could  always  be  so.  O  how  short  do  I  fall  of  my  duty 
 in  my  sweetest  moments  !" 
 
 9 
 
66  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 In  his  diaiy  for  the  two  next  days^  he  expresses  somewhat  of 
 the  same  frame,  but  in  a  far  less  degree.* 
 
 June  18.  ''  Considering  my  great  unfitness  for  the  work  of  the 
 ministry,  my  present  deadness,  and  total  inabihty  to  do  any  thing 
 for  the  glory  of  God  that  way,  feeling  myself  very  helpless,  and  at 
 a  great  loss  ichat  the  Lord  woidd  have  me  to  do  ;  I  set  apart  this 
 day  for  prayer  to  God,  and  spent  most  of  the  day  in  that  duty,  but 
 amazingly  deserted  most  of  the  day.  Yet  I  found  God  gracious- 
 ly near,  once  in  particular;  while  I  was  pleading  for  more  com- 
 passion for  immortal  souls,  my  heart  seemed  to  be  opened  at 
 once,  and  I  was  enabled  to  cry  with  great  ardency,  for  a  few  min- 
 utes. O  I  was  distressed  to  think,  that  I  should  olFer  such  dead 
 cold  services  to  the  living  God!  My  soul  seemed  to  breathe  af- 
 ter holiness,  a  life  of  constant  devotedness  to  God.  But  1  am  al- 
 inost  lost  sometimes  in  the  pursuit  of  this  blessedness,  and  ready 
 to  sink,  because  I  continually  fall  short,  and  miss  of  my  desire. 
 Oh  that  the  Lord  would  help  me  to  hold  out,  yet  a  little  while,  un- 
 til the  happy  hour  of  deliverance  comes  ! 
 
 June  19.  "  Felt  much  disordered  ;  my  spirits  were  very  low  : 
 but  yet  enjoyed  some  freedom  and  sweetness  in  the  duties  of  re- 
 ligion.    Blessed  he  God. 
 
 Lord'^s  day,  June  20.  "  Spent  much  time  alone.  My  soul  ear- 
 nestly wished  to  be  holy,  and  reached  after  God  ;  but  seemed  not 
 to  obtain  my  desire.  I  hungered  and  thirsted ;  but  was  not  re- 
 freshed and  satisfied.  My  soul  rested  on  God,  as  my  only  por- 
 tion. Oh  that  J  could  grow  in  grace  more  abundantly  every 
 day!" 
 
 The  next  day  he  speaks  of  his  having  assistance  in  his  studies- 
 and  power,  fervency,  and  comfort  in  prayer. 
 
 June  22.  "  In  the  morning  spent  about  two  hours  in  prayer 
 and  meditation,  with  considerable  delight.  Towards  night  felt 
 my  soul  go  out  in  earnest  desires  after  God,  in  secret  retirement. 
 In  the  evening,  was  sweetly  composed  and  resigned  to  God's  will; 
 was  enabled  lo  leave  myself  and  all  my  concerns  with  him,  and 
 to  have  my  whole  dependence  upon  him.  My  secret  retirement 
 was  very  refreshing  to  my  soul  ;  it  appeared  such  a  happiness  to 
 liave  God  for  my  portion,  that  I  had  rather  be  any  other  creature 
 m  this  lower  creation,  than  not  come  to  the  enjoyment  of  God. 
 
 *  Ileie  end  the  thirty  first  j)a<2;es  of  the  third  volume  of  his  diary,  which  hp  speaks 
 of  in  the  beginning'  of  this  volume,  (as  observed  before)  as  containing;  a  sy  Hmen  of 
 ,  his  ordinary  manner  of  living,  through  the  whole  space  of  time,  from  tlie  beginning 
 of  those  two  volumes  that  were  destroyed. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  67 
 
 I  had  rather  be  a  beast,  than  a  man,  without  God,  if  I  were  to  hve 
 here  to  eternity.     Lord,  endear  thyself  more  to  me ! 
 
 In  his  diary  for  the  next  seven  days^  he  expresses  a  variety  of  ex- 
 ercises of  mind.  He  speaks  of  great  longings  after  God  and  holi- 
 ness, and  earnest  desires  for  the  conversion  of  others;  of  ferven- 
 cy in  prayer,  power  to  wrestle  with  God,  composure,  comfort,  and 
 sweetness,  from  time  to  time ;  but  expresses  a  sense  of  the  abom- 
 ination of  his  heart,  and  bitterly  complains  of  his  barrenness,  and 
 the  body  of  death ;  and  says,  "  he  saw  clearly  that  whatever  he 
 enjoyed,  better  than  hell,  Was  of  free  grace."  He  complains  of 
 falling  much  below  the  character  of  a  child  of  God  ;  and  is  some- 
 times very  disconsolate  and  dejected. 
 
 June  30.  "  Spent  this  day  alone  in  the  w^oods,  in  fasting  and 
 prayer;  underwent  the  most  dreadful  conflicts  in  my  soul,  w^hich 
 I  ever  felt,  in  some  respects.  I  saw  myself  so  vile,  that  I  was 
 ready  to  say,  '  I  shall  now  perish  by  the  hand  of  Saul.'  I  thought 
 that  I  had  no  power  to  stand  for  the  cause  of  God,  but  was  al- 
 most *  afraid  of  the  shaking  of  a  leaf.'  Spent  almost  the  whole 
 day  in  prayer,  incessantly.  I  could  not  bear  to  think  of  Chris- 
 tians shewing  me  any  respect.  I  almost  despaired  of  doing  any 
 service  in  the  world  :  I  could  not  (eeX  any  hope  or  comfort  re- 
 specting the  heathen,  which  used  to  afford  me  some  refreshment 
 in  the  darkest  hours  of  this  nature.  I  spent  the  day  in  bitterness 
 of  soul.  Near  night  I  felt  a  little  better  ;  and  afterwards  enjoy- 
 ed some  sweetness  in  secret  prayer. 
 
 July  1.  '*  Had  some  enjoyment  in  prayer  this  morning  ;  and 
 far  more  than  usual  in  secret  prayer  to-night,  and  desired  nothing 
 so  ardently  as  that  God  should  do  with  me  just  as  he  pleased, 
 
 July  2.  "  Felt  composed  in  secret  prayer  in  the  morning. — 
 My  desires  ascended  to  God  this  day,  as  I  was  travelling :  and 
 was  comfortable  in  the  evening.  Blessed  he  God  for  all  my  con- 
 solations. 
 
 July  3.  "  My  heart  seemed  again  to  sink.  The  disgrace  I 
 was  laid  under  at  College,  seemed  to  damp  me  ;  as  it  opens  the 
 mouths  of  opposers.  I  had  no  refuge  but  in  God.  Blessed  be 
 his  name,  that  I  may  go  to  him  at  all  times,  and  find  him  a  present 
 help. 
 
 Lord'^s  day^  July  4.  "  Had  considerable  assistance.  In  the 
 evening  I  withdrew,  and  enjoyed  a  happy  season  in  secret  prayer. 
 God  was  pleased  to  give  me  the  exercise  of  faith,  and  thereby 
 brought  the  invisible  and  eternal  world  near  to  my  soul  ;  which 
 appeared  sweetly  to  me.     I'hoped,  that  my  weary  pilgrimage  in 
 
68  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINEKD. 
 
 the  world  would  be  short ;  and  that  it  would  not  be  long  before 
 I  was  brought  to  my  heavenly  home  and  Father's  house.  I  was 
 resigned  to  God's  will,  to  tarry  his  time,  to  do  his  work,  and  suf- 
 fer his  pleasure.  I  felt  thankfulness  to  God  for  all  my  pressing 
 descrtiotis  of  late  ;  for  I  am  persuaded  that  they  have  been  made 
 a  means  of  making  me  more  humble,  and  much  mor#  resigned, 
 I  felt  pleased  to  be  little,  to  be  nothing,  and  to  lie  in  the  dust,  I 
 enjoyed  life  and  consolation  in  pleading  for  the  dear  children  of 
 God.  and  the  kingdom  of  Christ  in  the  world  :  and  my  soul  ear- 
 nestly breathed  after  holiness,  and  the  enjoyment  of  God.  O  come, 
 Lord  Jesus,  come  quickly.'''^ 
 
 By  his  diary  for  the  remaining  days  of  this  week,  it  appears  that 
 he  enjoyed  considerable  composure  and  tranquillity,  and  had 
 sweetness  and  fervency  of  spirit  in  prayer,  from  day  to  day. 
 
 Lord?s  day,  My  It.  "  Was  deserted,  and  exceedingly  deject- 
 ed in  the  morning.  In  the  afternoon,  had  some  life  and  assistance, 
 and  felt  resigned.     I  saw  myself  to  be  exceeding  vile." 
 
 On  the  two  next  days  he  expresses  inward  comfort,  resignation, 
 and  strength  in  God. 
 
 July  14.  "  Felt  a  degree  of  humble  resigned  sweetness  :  spent 
 a  considerable  time  in  secret,  giving  myself  up  wholly  to  the 
 Lord.  Heard  Mr.  Bellamy  preach  towards  night ;  felt  very 
 sweetly  part  of  the  time :  longed  for  nearer  access  to  God.'''^ 
 
 The  four  next  days,  he  expresses  considerable  comfort  and  fer- 
 vency of  spirit,  in  Christian  conversation  and  religious  exercises. 
 
 July  19.  "  My  desires  seem  especially  to  be  after  weaned- 
 ness  from  the  world,  perfect  deadness  to  it,  and  that  I  may  be  cru- 
 cified to  ali  its  allurements.  My  soul  desires  to  feel  itself  more  of 
 3. pilgrim  and  stranger  here  below  ;  that  nothing  may  divert  me 
 from  pressing  through  the  lonely  desart,  till  I  arrive  at  my  Fa- 
 ther's house. 
 
 July  20.  "  It  was  sweet  to  give  away  myself  to  God,  to  be  dis- 
 posed of  at  his  pleasure.  I  had  some  feeling  sense  of  the  sweet- 
 ness of  being  a  pilgrim  on  earth.^^ 
 
 The  next  day,  he  expresses  himself  as  determined  to  be  wholly 
 devoted  to  God ;  and  it  appears  by  his  diary,  that  he  spent  the 
 whole  day  in  a  most  diligent  exercise  of  religion,  and  with  great 
 comfort. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  69 
 
 July  22.  "  Journeying  from  Southbury  to  Ripton,  I  called  at 
 a  house  by  the  way,  where  being  very  kindly  entertained  and 
 refreshed,  I  was  filled  with  amazement  and  shame,  that  God 
 should  stir  up  the  hearts  of  any  to  shew  so  much  kindness  to  such 
 a  dead  dog  as  1 ;  was  made  sensible,  in  some  measure,  how  ex- 
 ceeding vile  it  is  not  to  be  wholly  devoted  to  God.  I  wondered 
 that  God  would  suffer  any  of  his  creatures  to  feed  and  sustain  me 
 from  time  to  time." 
 
 In  his  diary  for  the  six  next  days,  are  expressed  various  exercis- 
 es and  experiences,  such  as,  sweet  composure  and  fervency  of 
 spirit  in  meditation  and  prayer,  weanedness  from  the  world,  being 
 sensibly  a  pilgrim  and  stranger  on  the  earth,  engagedness  of  mind 
 to  spend  every  moment  of  time  for  God,  &c. 
 
 July  29.  "  I  was  examined  by  the  Association  met  at  Danbury, 
 as  to  my  learning,  and  also  my  experience  in  religion,  and  received 
 a  Hcence  from  them  to  preach  the  gospel  of  Christ.  Afterwards 
 felt  much  devoted  to  God ;  joined  in  prayer  with  one  of  the  min- 
 isters, my  peculiar  friend,  in  a  convenient  place  ;  and  went  to 
 bed  resolving  to  live  devoted  to  God  all  my  days." 
 
CHAPTER  111, 
 
 From  his  Licensure,   till  his  Examination  and  Commission  as  a  AHs- 
 
 sionary. 
 
 July  30,  1742.  "  Rode  from  Danbury  to  Southbury  ;  preach- 
 ed there,  from  1  Pet.  iv.  8.  And  above  all  things  have  fervent 
 charity,  he.  Had  much  of  the  comfortable  presence  of  God  in 
 the  exercise.  I  seemed  to  have  power  with  God  in  prayer,  and 
 power  to  get  hold  of  the  hearts  of  the  people  in  preaching. 
 
 July  31.  "I  was  calm  and  composed,  as  well  as  greatly  re- 
 freshed and  encouraged." 
 
 It  appears  by  his  diary,  that  he  continued  in  this  sweetness  and 
 tranquillity,  almost  through  the  whole  of  the  next  week. 
 
 Lord^s  day,  Aug.  8.  "  In  the  morning  I  felt  comfortably  in 
 secret  prayer;  my  soul  was  refreshed  with  the  hopes  of  the 
 Heathen  coming  home  to  Christ;  was  much  resigned  to  God,  and 
 thought  it  was  no  matter  what  became  of  me. — Preached  both 
 parts  of  the  day  at  Bethlehem,  from  Job.  xiv.  14.  If  a  man  die^ 
 shall  he  live  again,  he.  It  was  sweet  to  me  to  meditate  on  death. 
 In  the  evening,  felt  very  comfortably,  and  cried  to  God  fervently 
 in  secret  prayer." 
 
 It  appears  by  his  diary,  that  he  continued  through  the  three  next 
 days,  engaged  with  all  his  might  in  the  business  of  religion,  and 
 in  almost  a  constant  enjoyment  of  its  comforts. 
 
 Aug.  12.  "This  morning  and  last  night  I  was  exercised  with 
 sore  inward  trials:  I  had  no  power  to  pray:  but  seemed  shut  out 
 from  God.  I  had  in  a  great  measure  lost  my  hopes  of  God's  send- 
 ing me  among  the  Heathen  afar  off,  and  of  seeing  them  flock 
 home  to  Christ.  I  saw  so  much  of  my  vileness,  that  I  wondered 
 that  God  would  let  me  live,  and  that  people  did  not  stone  me ; 
 much  more  that  they  would  ever  hear  me  preach  !  It  seemed  as 
 though  I  never  could  nor  should  preach  any  more ;  yet  about 
 nine  or  ten  o'clock,  the  people  came  over,  and  I  was  forced  to 
 preach.  And  blessed  be  God,  he  gave  me  his  presence  and 
 Spirit  in  prayer  and  preaching  :  so  that  I  was  much  assisted,  and 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  71 
 
 spake  with  power  from  Job  xiv.  14.  Some  Indians  cried  out  in 
 great  distress,"^  and  all  appeared  greatly  concerned.  After  we 
 had  prayed  and  exhorted  them  to  seek  the  Lord  with  constancy, 
 and  hired  an  English  woman  to  keep  a  kind  o{  school  among  them, 
 we  came  away  about  one  o'clock,  and  came  to  Judea,  about 
 fifteen  or  sixteen  miles.  There  God  was  pleased  to  visit  my 
 soul  with  much  comfort.  Blessed  be  the  Lord  for  all  things  I 
 meet  with." 
 
 It  appears  that  the  two  next  days  he  had  much  comfort,  and 
 had  his  heart  much  engaged  in  religion. 
 
 Lord's  day,  Aug.  15.  "Felt  much  comfort  and  devotedness 
 to  God  this  day.  At  night,  it  was  refreshing  to  get  alone  with 
 God,  and  pour  out  my  soul.  Oh,  who  can  conceive  of  the  sweet- 
 ness of  communion  with  the  blessed  God,  but  those  who  have 
 experience  of  it !  Glory  to  God  for  ever,  that  I  may  taste  heav- 
 en below. 
 
 Aug.  16.  "Had  some  comfort  in  secret  prayer,  in  the  morn- 
 ing.— Felt  sweetly  sundry  times  in  prayer  this  day:  but  was  much 
 perplexed  in  the  evening  with  vain  conversation. 
 
 Aug.  (7.  "Exceedingly  depressed  in  spirit,  it  cuts  and  wounds 
 my  heart,  to  think  how  much  self-exaltation,  spiritual  pride,  and 
 warmth  of  temper,  I  have  formerly  had  intermingled  with  my  en- 
 deavours to  {>romote  God's  work  :  and  sometimes  I  long  to  lie 
 down  at  the  feet  of  opposers,  and  confess  what  a  poor  imperfect 
 creature  I  have  been,  and  still  am.  The  Lord  forgive  me,  and 
 make  me  for  the  future  ivise  as  a  serpent,  and  harmless  as  a  dove ! 
 Afterwards  enjoyed  considerable  comfort  and  delight  of  soul. 
 
 Aug.  18.  "  Spent  most  of  this  day  in  prayer  and  reading. — 
 I  see  so  much  of  my  own  extreme  vileness,  that  I  feel  ashamed 
 and  guilty  before  God  and  man  ;  I  look  to  myself  like  the  vilest 
 fellow  in  the  land  :  I  wonder  that  God  stirs  up  his  people  to  be  so 
 kind  to  me. 
 
 Aug.  19.  "  This  day,  being  about  to  go  from  Mr.  Bellamy's 
 at  Bethlehem,  Vv^here  I  had  resided  some  time,  I  prayed  with  him, 
 and  two  or  three  other  Christian  friends.  We  gave  ourselves  to 
 God  whh  all  our  hearts,  to  be  his  for  ever:  eternity  looked  very 
 near  to  me,  while  I  was  praying.  If  I  never  should  see  these 
 Christians  again  in  this  v'orld,  it  seemed  but  a  few  moments  before 
 I  should  meet  them  in  another  world. 
 
 *It  was  in  a  place  near  Kent,  in  the  western  borJers  of  Connecticut,  where  there 
 is  a  number  oi  Indians. 
 
72  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 Aug,  20.  *•  I  appeared  so  vile  to  myself,  that  I  hardly  dared 
 to  think  of  being  seen,  especially  on  account  of  spiritual  pride. 
 However,  to-night  I  enjoyed  a  sweet  hour  alone  with  God,  (at 
 Ripton:)  I  was  lifted  above  the  frowns  and  ^latteries  of  this  lower 
 world,  had  a  sweet  relish  of  heavenly  joys,  and  my  soul  did,  a? 
 it  were,  get  into  the  eternal  world,  and  really  taste  of  heaven. 
 I  had  a  sweet  season  of  intercession  for  dear  friends  in  Christ : 
 and  God  helped  me  to  cry  fervently  for  Zion.  Blessed  be  God  for 
 this  season, 
 
 Aug,  21.  "Was  much  perplexed  in  the  morning. — Towards 
 noon  enjoyed  more  of  God  in  secret ;  was  enabled  to  see  that  it 
 was  best  to  throw  myself  into  the  hands  of  God,  to  be  disposed  of 
 according  to  his  pleasure,  and  rejoiced  in  such  thoughts.  In  the 
 afternoon  rode  to  New-Haven;  was  much  confused  all  the  way. — 
 Just  at  night,  underwent  such  a  dreadful  conflict  as  I  have  scarce 
 ever  felt.  I  saw  myself  exceeding  vile  and  unworthy  ;  so  that  I 
 was  guilty,  and  ashamed  that  any  body  should  bestow  any  favour 
 on  me,  or  shew  me  any  respect. 
 
 Lord'^'s  day,  Aug.  22.  "  In  the  morning,  continued  still  in  per- 
 plexity.— In  the  evening  enjoyed  comfort  sufficient  to  overbalance 
 all  my  late  distresses.  I  saw  that  God  is  the  only  soul-satisfying 
 portion,  and  1  really  found  satisfaction  in  him.  My  soul  was 
 much  enlarged  in  sweet  intercession  for  my  fellow-men  every 
 where,  and  for  many  Christian  friends  in  particular,  in  distant 
 places. 
 
 A^^g.  23.  "  Had  a  sweet  season  in  secret  prayer  :  the  Lord 
 drew  near  to  my  soul,  and  filled  me  with  peace  and  divine  conso- 
 lation. Oh,  my  soul  tasted  the  sweetness  of  the  upper  world  ;  and 
 was  drawn  out  in  prayer  for  the  world,  that  it  might  come  home 
 to  Christ !  Had  much  comfort  in  the  thoughts  and  hopes  of  the 
 ingathering  of  the  Heathen  ;  was  greatly  assisted  in  intercession 
 k)V  Christian  friends." 
 
 He  continued  still  in  the  same  frame  of  mind  the  next  day,  but 
 in  a  less  degree. 
 
 Aug.  25.  "  In  family  prayer,  God  helped  me  to  climb  up  near 
 him,  so  that  I  scarce  ever  got  nearer.''' 
 
 The  jTowr  next  days  he  appears  to  have  been  the  subject  of  de- 
 sertion, and  of  comfort  and  fervency  in  religion,  interchangeably, 
 together  with  a  sense  of  vilcncss  and  unprofitableness. 
 
 Aug,  30.  "  Felt  somewhat  comfortably  in  the  morning ;  con- 
 versed   sweetly  with  some  friends:  was   inn   serious  composed 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  73 
 
 frame  ;  and  prayed  at  a  certain  house  with  some  degree  of  sweet- 
 ness. Afterwards,  at  another  house,  prayed  privately  with  a 
 dear  Christian  friend  or  two  ;  and,  I  think,  1  scarce  ever  launched 
 so  far  into  the  eternal  world  as  then;  1  j^ot  so  far  out  on  the  broad 
 ocean,  that  my  soul  with  joy  triumphed  over  all  the  evils  on  the 
 shores  of  mortality.  I  think,  time,  and  all  its  gay  amusements 
 and  cruel  disappointments,  never  appeared  so  inconsiderable  to 
 me  before.  I  was  in  a  sweet  frame  ;  I  saw  myself  nothing,  and 
 my  soul  reached  after  God  with  intense  desire.  Oh,  I  saw  what 
 1  owed  to  God,  in  such  a  manner,  as  I  scarce  ever  did  !  I  knew 
 that  I  had  never  lived  a  moment  to  him  as  I  should  do  ;  indeed, 
 it  appeared  to  me,  that  I  had  never  done  any  thing  in  Christiani- 
 ty :  my  soul  longed  with  a  vehement  desire  to  live  to  God. — In  the 
 evening,  sung  and  prayed  with  a  number  of  Christians  :  felt  the 
 powers  of  the  zoorld  to  come  in  my  soul,  in  prayer.  Afterwards 
 prayed  again  privately,  with  a  dear  Christian  or  two,  and  found 
 the  presence  of  God  ;  was  somewhat  humbled  in  my  secret  re- 
 tirement :  felt  my  ingratitude,  because  I  was  not  wholly  swallow- 
 ed up  in  God." 
 
 He  was  in  a  sweet  frame  great  part  of  the  next  day. 
 
 Sept.  1.  "Went  to  Judea,  to  the  ordination  of  Mr.  Judd. 
 Mr.  Bellamy  preached  from  Matt.  xxiv.  46.  "  Blessed  is  that  ser- 
 vant," &c.  I  felt  very  solemn  most  of  the  time  ;  had  my  thoughts 
 much  on  that  time  when  our  Lord  will  come ^  that  time  retVcshed 
 my  soul  much ;  only  I  was  afraid  I  should  not  be  found  faithful^ 
 because  I  have  so  vile  a  heart.  My  thoughts  were  much  in  eter- 
 nity, where  I  love  to  dwell.  Blessed  beGod  for  this  solemn  sea- 
 son.— Rode  home  to  night  with  Mr.  Bellamy,  conversed  with 
 some  friends  till  it  was  very  late,  and  then  retired  to  rest  in  a 
 comfortable  frame. 
 
 Sept.  2.  "About  two  in  the  afternoon,  I  preached  from  John 
 vi.  67.  Then  said  Jesus  unto  the  twelve,  Will  ye  also  go  aivay? 
 and  God  assisted  me  in  some  comfortable  degree  ;  but  more  es- 
 pecially in  my  first  prayer;  my  soul  seemed  then  to  launch  quite 
 into  the  eternal  world,  and  to  be  as  it  were,  separated  from  this 
 lower  world.  Afterwards  preached  again  from  Isa.  v.  4.  What 
 could  have  been  done  more,  &;c.  God  gave  me  some  assistance  ; 
 but  I  saw  myself  a  poor  worm." 
 
 On  Friday,  Sept.  3.  He  complains  of  having  hut  little  life  in 
 the  things  of  God,  the  former  part  of  the  day,  but  afterwards 
 speaks  of  sweetness  and  enlargement. 
 
 10 
 
74  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 Sept»  4.  Much  out  of  health,  exceedingly  depressed  in  my 
 soul,  and  at  awful  distance  from  God.  Towards  night,  spent  some 
 time  in  profitable  thoughts  on  Rom.  viii.  2.  For  the  law  of  the 
 spirit  of  life,  he.  Near  night,  had  a  very  sweet  season  in  prayer; 
 God  enabled  me  to  wrestle  ardently  for  the  advancement  of  the 
 Redeemer's  kingdom ;  pleaded  earnestly  for  my  own  dear  broth- 
 er John,  that  God  would  make  him  more  of  a  pilgrim  and  stran- 
 ger on  the  earth,  and  fit  him  for  singular  serviceableness  in  the 
 world  ;  and  my  heart  sweetly  exulted  in  the  Lord,  in  the  thoughts 
 of  any  distresses  that  might  alight  on  him  or  on  me,  in  the  ad- 
 vancement of  Christ's  kingdom.  It  was  a  sweet  and  comfortable 
 hour  unto  my  soul,  while  I  was  indulged  with  freedom  to  plead, 
 not  only  for  m}self,  but  also  for  many  other  souls. 
 
 Lord^s  (lay,  Sept.  5.  "  Preached  all  day  :  was  somewhat 
 strengthened  and  assisted  in  the  afternoon;  more  especially  in  the 
 evening  :  had  a  sense  of  my  unspeakable  failures  in  all  my  duties. 
 I  found,  alas!  that  I  had  never  lived  to  God  in  my  life. 
 
 Sept.  6.  '*Was  informed,  that  they  only  waited  for  an  oppor- 
 tunity to  apprehend  me  for  preaching  at  New-Haven  lately,  that 
 so  they  might  imprison  me.  This  made  me  more  solemn  and  se- 
 rious, and  to  quit  all  hopes  of  the  world's  friendship  :  it  brought 
 me  to  a  further  sense  of  my  vileness,  and  just  desert  of  this,  and 
 much  more,  from  the  hand  of  God,  though  not  from  the  hand  of 
 man.  Retired  into  a  convenient  place  in  the  woods,  and  spread 
 the  matter  before  God. 
 
 Sejjt.  7.  "  Had  some  relish  of  divine  things,  in  the  morning. 
 Afterwards  felt  more  barren  and  melancholy.  Rode  to  New-Ha- 
 ven to  a  friend's  house,  at  a  distance  from  the  town  ;  that  I  might 
 remain  undiscovered,  and  yet  have  opportunity  to  do  business 
 privately,  with  friends  which  come  to  commencement. 
 
 Sept.  8.  "  Felt  very  sweetly,  when  I  first  rose  in  the  morning. 
 In  family  prayer,  had  some  enlargement,  but  not  much  spirituali- 
 ty, till  eternity  came  up  before  me,  and  looked  near;  I  found 
 some  sweetness  in  the  thoughts  of  bidding  a  dying  farewell  to 
 this  tiresome  world.  Though  sometime  ago  I  reckoned  upon 
 seeing  my  dear  friends  at  commencement;  yet  being  now  denied 
 the  opportunity,  for  fear  of  imprisonment,  I  felt  totally  resigned, 
 and  as  contented  to  spend  this  day  alone  in  the  woods,  as  I  could 
 have  done,  if  I  had  been  allowed  to  go  to  town.  Felt  exceed- 
 ingly weaned  from  the  world  to-day.  In  the  afternoon,  I  dis- 
 coursed on  divine  things,  with  a  dear  christian  friend,  whereby 
 we  were  both  refreslitd.  Then  I  prayed,  with  a  sweet  sense  of 
 the  bl'ssedness  of  communion  with  God  :  I  think  I  scarce  ever 
 enjoyed  more  of  God  in  any  one  prayer.     O  it  was  a  blessed  sea- 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  75 
 
 son  indeed  to  my  soul !  I  know  not  that  ever  1  saw  so  much  of  my 
 own  nothingness,  in  my  life ;  never  wondered  so,  that  God  al- 
 lowed me  to  preach  his  word.  This  has  been  a  sweet  and  com- 
 fortable day  to  my  soul.  Blessed  be  God.  Prayed  again  with 
 my  dear  friend,  with  something  of  the  divine  presence.  I  long 
 to  be  wholly  conformed  to  God,  and  transformed  into  his  image. 
 
 Sejjt.  9.  "  Spent  much  of  the  day  alone  :  enjoyed  the  pres- 
 ence of  God  in  some  comfortable  degree  :  was  visited  by  some 
 dear  friends,  and  prayed  with  them  :  wrote  sundry  letters  to 
 friends  :  felt  religion  in  my  soul  while  writing  •  enjoyed  sweet 
 meditations  on  some  scriptures.  In  the  evening,  went  very  pri- 
 vately into  town,  from  the  place  of  my  residence  at  the  farms,  and 
 conversed  with  some  dear  friends;  feU  sweetly  in  singing  hymns 
 with  them  :  and  made  my  escape  to  the  farms  again,  without  be- 
 ing discovered  by  any  enemies,  as  I  knew  of.  Thus  the  Lord 
 preserves  me  continually. 
 
 Sept,  id.  "Longed  with  intense  desire  after  God  ;  my  whole 
 soul  seamed  impatient  to  be  conformed  to  him,  and  to  become 
 *'  holy,  as  he  is  holy."  In  the  afternoon,  prayed  with  a  dear 
 friend  privately,  and  had  the  presence  of  God  with  us  ;  our  souls 
 united  together  to  reach  after  a  blessed  immortality,  to  be  un- 
 clothed of  the  body  of  sin  and  death,  and  to  enter  the  blessed 
 world,  where  no  unclean  thing  enters.  O,  with  what  intense  de- 
 sire did  our  souls  long  for  that  blessed  day,  that'we  might  be  freed 
 from  sin,  and  and  for  ever  live  to  and  in  our  God  !  In  the  eve- 
 ning, took  leave  of  that  house  ;  but  first  kneeled  down  and  pray- 
 ed ;  the  Lord  was  of  a  truth  in  the  midst  of  us ;  it  was  a  sweet 
 parting  season  ;  felt  in  myself  much  sweetness  and  affection  in 
 the  things  of  God.  Blessed  be  God  for  every  such  divine  gale 
 of  his  Spirit,  to  speed  me  on  in  my  way  to  the  new  Jerusalem  ! 
 Felt  some  sweetness  afterwards,  and  spent  the  evening  in  conver- 
 sation with  friends,  and  prayed  with  some  life,  and  retired  to  rest 
 very  late." 
 
 The  five  next  days,  he  appears  to  have  been  in  an  exceeding- 
 ly comfortable  frame  of  mind,  for  the  most  part,  and  to  have  been 
 the  subject  of  the  like  heavenly  exercises  as  are  often  expressed 
 in  preceding  passages  of  his  diary ;  such  as,  having  his  heart 
 much  engaged  for  God,  wrestling  with  him  in  prayer  with  power 
 and  ardency  ;  enjoying  at  times  sweet  calmness  and  composure 
 of  mind,  giving  himself  up  to  God  to  be  his  forever,  with  great 
 complacence  of  mind ;  being  wholly  resigned  to  the  will  of  God, 
 that  he  might  do  with  him  what  he  pleased  ;  longing  to  improve 
 time,  having  the   eternal  world,  as  it  were^  brought  nigh  ;  longing 
 
76  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 after  God  and  holiness,  earnestly  desiring  a  complete  confornriity 
 to  liim,  and  wondering  how  poor  souls  do  to  exist  without  God. 
 
 Sept.  16.  "At  night,  enjoyed  much  of  God,  in  secret  prayer: 
 felt  an  uncommon  resignation,  to  he  and  do  what  God  pleased. 
 Some  days  past,  I  felt  great  perplexity  on  account  of  my  past 
 conduct:  my  bitterness,  and  want  of  christian  kindness  and  love, 
 has  been  very  distressing  to  my  soul :  the  Lord  forgive  me  my 
 unchristian  warmth,  and  want  of  a  spirit  of  meekness  ! 
 
 The  next  day,  he  speaks  of  much  resignation,  calmness,  and 
 peace  of  mind,  and  near  views  of  the  eternal  world. 
 
 Sept.  18.  "  Felt  some  compassion  for  souls,  and  mourned  that  I 
 had  no  more.  I  feel  much  more  kindness,  meekness,  gentleness, 
 and  love  towards  all  mankind,  than  ever.  I  long  to  be  at  the  feet 
 of  my  enemies  and  persecutors  :  enjoyed  some  sweetness,  in  feel- 
 ing my  soul  conformed  to  Christ  Jesus,  and  given  away  to  him 
 for  ever. 
 
 The  next  day,  he  speaks  of  much  dejection  and  discourage- 
 ment, from  an  apprehension  of  his  own  unfitness,  ever  to  do  any 
 good  in  preaching;  but  blesses  God  for  all  dispensations  of  provi- 
 dence and  grace  ;  finding  that  by  all  God  weaned  him  more  from 
 the  world,  and  made  him  more  resigned. 
 
 The  next  ten  days,  he  appears  to  have  been  for  the  most  part 
 under  great  degrees  of  melancholy,  exceedingly  dejected  and 
 discouraged:  speaks  of  his  being  ready  to  give  up  all  forgone 
 respecting  the  cause  of  Christ,  and  exceedingly  longing  to  die  : 
 yet  had  some  sweet  seasons  and  intervals  of  comfort,  and  special 
 assistance  and  enlargement  in  the  duties  of  rehgion,  and  in  per- 
 forming public  services,  and  considerable  success  in  them. 
 
 Sept.  30.  "  Still  very  low  in  spirits;  I  did  not  know  how  to 
 engage  in  any  work  or  business,  especially  to  correct  some  disorders 
 among  christians;  felt  as  though  I  had  no  power  to  be  faithful  in  that 
 regard.  However,  towards  noon,  I  preached  from  Deut.  viii.  2. 
 And.  thou  shah  remember,  &;c.  and  was  enabled  with  freedom  to  re- 
 prove some  things  in  Christians'  conduct,  I  thought  very  unsuita- 
 ble and  irregular;  insisted  near  two  hours  on  this  subject." 
 
 Through  this  and  the  tu-o  following  iveeks,  he  passed  through 
 a  variety  of  exercises  :  he  was  frequently  dejected,  and  felt  in- 
 ward distresses:  and  sometimes  sunk  into   the  depths  of  melan- 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  77 
 
 choly  :  at  which  turns  he  was  not  exercised  about  the  state  of  his 
 soul,  with  regard  to  the  favour  of  God,  and  his  interest  in  Christ, 
 but  about  his  own  sinful  infirmities,  and  unfitness  for  God's  ser- 
 vice. His  mind  appears  sometimes  extremely  depressed  and 
 sunk,  with  a  sense  of  inexpressible  vileness.  But  in  the  mean 
 time,  he  speaks  of  many  seasons  of  comfort,  and  spiritual  re- 
 freshment, wherein  his  heart  was  encouraged  and  strengthened  in 
 God,  and  sweetly  resigned  to  his  will ;  of  some  seasons  of  very 
 high  degrees  of  spiritual  consolation,  and  of  his  great  longings  af- 
 ter hohness,  and  conformity  to  God ;  of  his  great  fear  of  offend- 
 ing God,  and  of  his  heart  being  sweetly  melted  in  religious  duties; 
 of  his  longing  for  the  advancement  of  Christ's  kingdom,  of  his 
 having  at  times  much  assistance  in  preaching,  and  of  remarkable 
 effects  on  the  audience. 
 
 Lord's  day,  Oct.  17.  "Had  a  considerable  sense  of  my  help- 
 lessness and  inability;  saw  that  I  must  be  dependent  on  God  for 
 alJ  I  want;  and  especially  when  I  went  to  the  place  of  public 
 worship.  I  found  I  could  not  speak  a  word  for  God,  without  his 
 special  help  and  assistance.  1  went  into  the  assembly  trembling, 
 as  I  frequently  do,  under  a  sense  of  my  insufficiency  to  do  any 
 thing  in  the  cause  of  God,  as  I  ought  to  do.  But  it  pleased  God 
 to  afford  me  much  assistance,  and  there  seemed  to  be  a  consider- 
 able effect  on  the  hearers.  In  the  evening,  I  felt  a  disposition  to 
 praise  God,  for  his  goodness  to  me,  that  he  had  enabled  me  in 
 some  measure  to  be  faithful ;  and  my  soul  rejoiced  to  think,  that 
 I  had  thus  performed  the  work  of  one  day  more,  and  was  one  day 
 nearer  my  eternal,  and  I  trust  my  heavenly  home.  Oh  that  I 
 may  be  "  faithful  to  the  death,  fulfilhng  as  an  hireling  my  day," 
 till  the  shades  of  the  evening  of  life  shall  free  my  soul  from  the 
 toils  of  the  day !  This  evening,  in  secret  prayer,  I  felt  exceeding- 
 ly solemn,  and  such  longing  desires  after  deliverance  from  sin,  and 
 after  conformity  to  God,  as  melted  my  heart.  O  I  longed  to  be 
 "  delivered  from  this  body  of  death !"  I  felt  inward,  pleasing 
 pain,  that  I  could  not  be  conformed  to  God  entirely,  fully,  and 
 forever.  I  scarce  ever  preach  without  being  first  visited  with  in- 
 ward conflicts,  and  sore  trials.  Blessed  be  the  Lord  for  these  tri- 
 als and  distresses,  as  they  are  blessed  for  my  humbling. 
 
 Oct,  18.  "In  the  morning,*!  felt  some  sweetness,  but  still 
 pressed  through  trials  of  soul.  My  life  is  a  constant  mixture 
 of  consolations  and  conflicts,  and  will  be  so  till  1  arrive  at  the 
 world  of  spirits. 
 
 Oct,  19.  "This  morning,  and  last  night,  I  felt  a  sweet  long- 
 ing in  my  soul  after  holiness.     My  soul   seemed  so  to  reach  and 
 
78  MEMOIRS  OF  BKAINERD. 
 
 stretch  towards  the  mark  of  {3erfect  sanctity,  that  it  was  ready  to 
 break  with  longings. 
 
 Oct.  20.  "  Veij  infirm  in  body,  exercised  with  much  pain, 
 and  very  hfeless  in  divine  things.  Felt  a  little  sweetness  in  the 
 evening. 
 
 Oct,  21.  "  Had  a  very  deep  sense  of  the  vanity  of  the  world, 
 most  of  the  day ;  had  little  more  regard  to  it,  than  if  I  had  been 
 to  go  into  eternity  the  next  hour.  Through  divine  goodness,  I 
 felt  very  serious  and  solemn.  O,  /  love  to  live  on  the  brink  ofeter- 
 nity,^  in  my  views  and  meditations  !  This  gives  me  a  sweet,  awful, 
 and  reverential  sense  and  apprehension  of  God  and  divine  things, 
 when  1  see  mvself  as  it  were,  standing  before  the  judgment  seat  of 
 Christ. 
 
 Oct,  22.  "Uncommonly  weaned  from  the  world  to-day:  my 
 soul  delighted  to  be  a  stranger  and  pilgrim  on  the  earth;  I  felt  a 
 disposition  in  me  never  to  have  any  thing  to  do  with  this  world. 
 The  character  given  of  some  of  the  ancient  people  of  God,  in 
 Heb.  xi.  13,  was  very  pleasing  to  me,  "  They  confessed  that  they 
 were  pilgrims  and  strangers  on  the  earth,"  by  their  daily  prac- 
 tice ;  and  Oh  that  1  could  always  do  so !  Spent  some  considera- 
 ble time  in  a  pleasant  grove,  in  prayer  and  meditation.  Oh  it  is 
 sweet,  to  be  thus  weaned  from  friends,  and  from  myself,  and  dead 
 lo  the  present  world,  that  so  I  may  live  wholly  to  and  upon  the 
 ^blessed  God!  Saw  myself  little,  low,  and  vile  in  myself.  In  the 
 afternoon,  preached  at  Bethlehem,  from  Deut.  viii.  2.  God 
 helped  me  to  speak  to  the  hearts  of  dear  christians.  Blessed  be 
 the  Lord  for  this  season  :  I  trust  they  and  I  shall  rejoice  on  this 
 ^iccount,  to  all  eternity.  Dear  Mr.  Bellamy  came  in,  while  I  was 
 making  the  tirst  prayer,  (being  returned  home  from  a  journey  ;) 
 and  after  meeting,  we  walked  away  together,  and  spent  the  eve- 
 nit)g  in  sweetly  conversing  on  divine  things,  and  praying  togeth- 
 er, with  sweet  and  tender  love  to  each  other,  and  retired  to 
 rest  with  our  hearts  in  a  serious  spiritual  frame. 
 
 Oct.  23.  '"Somewhat  perplexed  and  confused.  Rode  this 
 day  from  Bethlehem  lo  Simsbury. 
 
 Lordh-  day,  Oct.  24.  "  Felt  so  vile  and  unworthy,  that  1 
 scarce  knew  how  to  converse  with  human  creatures. 
 
 Oct,  25.  "[At  Turkey  Mills.]  In  the  evening,  I  enjoyed  the 
 divine  presence,  in  secret  prayer.  It  was  .a  sweet  and  comforta- 
 ble season  to  me;  my  soul  longed  for  the  living  God:  enjoyed  a 
 sweet  solemnity  of  spirit,  and  longing  desire  after  the  recovery 
 of  the  divine  image  in  my  soul.  'Then  shall  1  be  satisfied  when 
 1  shall  awake  in  God's  likeness,'  and  never  before. 
 
 Oct.  26.  "  [At  West  Sulheld.]  Underwent  the  most  dreadful 
 distresses,  under  a  sense  of  my  own  unworthiness.     It  seemed  to 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  79 
 
 me,  that  I  deserved  rather  to  be  driven  out  of  the  place,  than  to 
 have  any  body  treat  me  with  any  kindness,  or  come  to  hear  me 
 preach.  And  verily  my  spirits  were  so  depressed  at  this  time, 
 (as  at  many  others,)  that  it  was  impossible  I  should  treat  immor(al 
 souls  with  faithfulness.  I  could  not  deal  closely  and  faithfully 
 with  them,  I  felt  so  infinitely  vile  in  myself.  O  what  dust  and 
 ashes  I  am,  to  think  of  preaching  the  gospel  to  others  !  Indeed,  1 
 never  can  be  faithful  for  one  moment,  but  shall  certainly  "  daub 
 with  untempercd  mortar,"  if  God  do  not  grant  me  special  help. 
 In  the  evening,  I  went  to  the  meeting  house,  and  it  looked  to  me 
 near  as  easy  for  one  to  rise  out  of  the  grave  and  preach,  as  for  me. 
 However,  God  afforded  me  some  life  and  power,  both  in  prayer 
 and  sermon  ;  and  was  pleased  to  lift  me  up,  and  shew  me  that  he 
 could  enable  me  to  preach.  O  the  wonderful  goodness  of  God 
 to  so  vile  a  sinner!  Returned  to  my  quarters ;  and  enjoyed  some 
 sweetness  in  prayer  alone,  and  mourned  that  I  could  not  live 
 more  to  God. 
 
 Oct.  27.  "  I  spent  the  forenoon  in  prayer  and  meditation ; 
 was  not  a  little  concerned  about  preaching  in  the  afternoon  ;  felt 
 exceedingly  without  strength,  and  very  helpless  indeed  ;  and  went 
 into  the  meeting-house,  ashamed  to  see  any  come  to  hear  such 
 an  unspeakably  worthless  wretch.  However,  God  enabled  me 
 to  speak  with  clearness,  power,  and  pungency.  But  there  was 
 some  noise  and  tumult  in  the  assembly,  that  1  did  not  well  like  ; 
 and  I  endeavoured  to  bear  public  testimony  against  it  with  mode- 
 ration and  mildness,  thro\igh  the  current  of  my  discourse.  In 
 the  evening,  was  enabled  to  be  in  some  measure  thankful,  and  de- 
 voted to  God." 
 
 The  frames  and  exercises  of  his  mind,  during  ihefouj-  next  daysj 
 were  similar  to  those  of  the  two  days  past;  except  intervals  of 
 considerable  degrees  of  divine  peace  and  consolation. 
 
 The  things  expressed  within  the  space  of  the  three  follotomg 
 days,  are  such  as  these  :  some  seasons  of  dejection,  mourning 
 for  being  so  destitute  of  the  exercises  of  grace,  longing  to  be  de- 
 livered from  sin,  pressing  after  more  knowledge  of  God,  seasons 
 of  sweet  consolation,  precious  and  intimate  converse  with  God 
 in  secret  prayer,  sweetness  of  christian  conversation,  Szc.  With- 
 in this  time,  he  rode  from  Suffield,  to  Eastbury,  Hebron,  and 
 Lebanon. 
 
 JVor.  4.  "  [At  Lebanon.]  Saw  much  of  my  nothingness 
 most  of  this  day:  but  felt  concerned  that  I  had  no  more  sense  of 
 my  insufficiency  and  unworthiness.  O  it  is  sweet  li/ing  in  the 
 dust!  But  it  is  distressing  to  foel  in  my  soul  that  hell  of  corrup- 
 
30  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 tion,  which  still  remains  in  me.  In  the  afternoon,  had  a  sense 
 of  the  sweetness  of  a  strict,  close,  and  constant  devotedness  to 
 God,  and  my  soul  was  comforted  with  his  consolations.  My  sou! 
 felt  a  pleasing,  yet  painful  concern,  lest  I  should  spend  some  mo- 
 ments without  God,  O  may  I  always  live  to  God!  In  the  eve- 
 ning, I  was  visited  by  some  friends,  and  spent  the  time  in  pray- 
 er, and  such  conversation  as  tended  to  our  edification.  It  was  a 
 comfortable  season  to  my  soul :  I  felt  an  intense  desire  to  spend 
 every  moment  for  God.  God  is  unspeakably  gracious  to  me  con- 
 tinually. In  times  past,  he  has  given  me  inexpressible  sweetness 
 in  the  performance  of  duty.  Frequently  my  soul  has  enjoyed 
 much  of  God  ;  but  has  been  ready  to  say,  "  Lord,  it  is  good  to  be 
 here  ;"  and  so  to  indulge  sloth,  while  I  have  lived  on  the  sweet- 
 ness of  my  feelings.  But  of  late,  God  has  been  pleased  to  keep 
 my  soul  hung}'!/,  almost  continually;  so  that  I  have  been  filled 
 with  a  kind  of  pleasing  pain.  When  I  really  enjoy  God,  I  feel 
 my  desires  of  him  the  more  insatiable,  and  my  thirstings  after  ho- 
 liness the  more  unquenchable  ;  and  the  Lord  will  not  allow  me 
 to  feel  as  though  I  were  fully  supplied  and  satisfied,  but  keeps 
 me  still  reaching  forward.  I  feel  barren  and  empty,  as  though 
 I  could  not  live,  without  more  of  God  ;  I  feel  ashamed  and  guilty 
 before  him.  I  see  that  "  the  law  is  spiritual,  but  I  am  carnal.'^  I 
 do  not,  I  cannot  live  to  God.  Oh  for  holiness!  Oh  for  more  of 
 God  in  my  soul!  Oh  this  pleasing  pain!  It  makes  my  soul  press 
 after  God  ;  the  language  of  it  is,  "  Then  shall  I  be  satisfied,  wher-i 
 [  awake  in  God's  likeness,"  but  never,  never  before  :  and  con- 
 sequently, I  am  engaged  to  "  press  towards  the  mark,"  day  by 
 day.  Oh  that  I  may  (eel  this  continual  hunger,  and  not  be  re- 
 tarded, but  rather  animated  by  every  cluster  from  Canaan,  to 
 reach  forward  in  the  narrow  way,  for  the  full  enjoyment  and  pos- 
 session of  the  heavenly  inheritance  !  Oh  that  I  may  never  loiter 
 in  my  heavenly  journey!" 
 
 These  insatiable  desires  after  God,  and  holiness,  continued  the 
 two  next  days,  with  a  great  sense  of  his  own  exceeding  unworthi- 
 ness,  and  the  nothingness  of  the  things  of  this  world. 
 
 Lo7vVs  day.  ./Vor.  7.  "[At  Millington.]  It  seemed  as  if  such 
 an  unholy  wretch  as  I,  never  could  arrive,  at  that  blessedness,  to 
 be  "holy,  as  God  is  holy."  At  noon,  1  longed  for  sanctification, 
 and  conformity  to  God.  O  that  is  the  all,  the  all.  The 
 Loru  help  me  to  press  after  God  (or  ever. 
 
 Ac^-.  8.  "Towards  night,  enjoyed  much  sweetness  in  secret 
 prayer,  so  that  my  soul  longed  for  an  arr;val  in  the  heavenly  conn- 
 try,  tlie   blessed   paradi^^e  of  God.     Through  divine  goodness,  I 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  81 
 
 have  scarce  seen  the  day  for  two  months,  in  which  death  has  not 
 looked  so  pleasant  to  me,  at  one  time  or  other  of  the  day,  that  I 
 could  have  rejoiced  that  the  present  should  be  my  last,  notwith- 
 standing my  present  inward  trials  and  conflicts.  I  trust,  the 
 Lord  will  finally  make  me  a  conqueror,  and  more  than  a  conquer- 
 or;  and  that  I  shall  be  able  to  use  that  triumphant  language,  "  O 
 death  where  is  thy  sting!"  And, '*  O  grave,  where  is  thy  vic- 
 tory !" 
 
 Within  the  next  ten  days,  the  following  things  are  expressed : 
 longing  and  wrestling  to  be  holy,  and  to  live  to  God ;  a  desire  that 
 every  single  thought  might  be  for  God  ;  feeling  guilty,  that  his 
 thoughts  were  no  more  swallowed  up  in  God  :  sweet  solemnity 
 and  calmness  of  mind;  submission  and  resignation  to  God  ;  great 
 weanedness  from  the  world;  abasement  in  the  dust ;  grief  at 
 some  vain  conversation  that  was  observed;  sweetness  from  time 
 to  time  in  secret  prayer,  and  in  conversing  and  praying  with 
 Christian  friends.  And  every  day  he  appears  to  have  been  great- 
 ly engaged  in  the  great  business  of  religion,  and  living  to  God, 
 without  interruption. 
 
 ^01?.  19.  "[At  New-Haven.]  Received  a  letter  from  the 
 Reverend  Mr.  Pemberton,  of  New- York,  desiring  me  speedily 
 to  go  down  thither,  and  consult  about  the  Indian  affairs  in  those 
 parts  ;  and  to  meet  certain  gentlemen  there  who  were  intrusted 
 with  those  affairs.  My  mind  was  instantly  seized  with  concern  ; 
 so  I  retired  with  two  or  three  Christian  friends,  and  prayed;  and 
 indeedj  it  was  a  sweet  time  with  me.  I  was  enabled  to  leave 
 myself,  and  all  my  concerns  with  God;  and  taking  leave  of 
 friends,  I  rode  to  Ripton,  and  was  comforted  in  an  opportunity 
 to  see  and  converse  with  dear  Mr.  Mills." 
 
 In  the  four  next  following  days,  he  was  sometimes  oppressed 
 with  the  weight  of  that  great  affair,  about  which  Mr.  Pemberton 
 had  written  to  him;  but  was  enabled  from  to  time,  to  "  cast  his 
 burden  on  the  Lord,"  and  to  commit  himself  and  all  his  concerns 
 to  him.  He  continued  still  in  a  sense  of  the  excellency  of  holi- 
 ness, longings  after  it,  and  earnest  desires  for  the  advancement  of 
 Christ's  kingdom  in  the  world  ;  and  had  from  time  to  time  sweet 
 comfort  in  meditation  and  prayer. 
 
 Kov,  24.  '-Came  to  New-York;  felt  still  much  concerned 
 about  the  importance  of  my  busine^js;  put  up  many  earnest  re- 
 quests to  God  for  his   help  and  direction ;  was  confused  with  the 
 
 11 
 
■^2  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 noise  and  tumult  of  the  city ;  enjoyed  but  little  time  alone  with 
 God  ;  but  my  soul  longed  after  him. 
 
 .A'br.  25.  "Spent  much  time  in  prayerand  supplication:  was 
 examined  by  some  gentlemen,  of  my  Christian  experiences,  and 
 my  acquaintance  with  divinity,  and  some  other  studies,  in  order 
 to  my  improvement  in  that  important  affair  of  evangelizing  the 
 Heathen*;  and  was  made  sensible  of  my  great  ignorance  and  un- 
 fitness for  public  service.  I  had  the  most  abasing  thoughts  of 
 myself,  I  think,  that  ever  I  had ;  I  thought  myself  the  worst 
 wretch  that  ever  lived :  it  hurt  me,  and  pained  my  very  heart, 
 that  any  body  should  shew  me  any  respect.  Alas  !  methought 
 how  sadly  they  are  deceived  in  me !  how  miserably  would  they 
 be  disappointed  if  they  knew  my  inside!  O  my  heart!  And  in 
 this  depressed  condition,  I  was  forced  to  go  and  preach  to  a  con- 
 siderable assembly,  before  some  grave  and  learned  ministers;  but 
 felt  such  a  pressure  from  a  sense  of  my  vileness,  ignorance,  and 
 unfitness  to  appear  in  public,  that  I  was  almost  overcome  with  it; 
 my  soul  was  grieved  for  the  congregation ;  that  they  should  sit 
 there  to  hear  such  a  dead  dog  as  I  preach.  I  thought  myself  in- 
 finitely indebted  to  the  people,  and  longed  that  God  would  re- 
 ward them  with  the  rewards  of  his  grace.  I  spent  much  of  the 
 evening  alone." 
 
 *  These  geiitletnen  who  examined  Mr.  Braiaerd,  were  the  Correspondents  in 
 Xew-York,  New- Jersey,  and  Penns3'lvania,  of  the  honourable  Society  in  Scotland, 
 for  propagating  Christian  knowledge  ;  to  whom  was  committed  the  managemerf"^ 
 of  their  affairs  in  those  parts,  and  who  were  now  met  at  New- York, 
 
CHAPTER  IV. 
 
 Vom  the  time   of  his  Examination  and  Commission  as   a   Missionary, 
 to  his  entrance  on  his  Mission  amotis  the  Indians  at  Kaunaumeek. 
 
 Jsfov,  26,  1742.  "  Had  still  a  sense  of  my  great  vileness,  and 
 endeavoured  as  much  as  I  could  to  keep  alone.  O  what  a  no- 
 thing, what  dust  and  ashes  am  I !  Enjoyed  some  peace  and  com- 
 fort in  spreading  my  complaints  before  the  God  of  all  grace. 
 
 JVbr.  27.  "  Committed  my  soul  to  God  with  some  degree  of 
 comfort ;  left  New- York  about  nine  in  the  morning  ;  came  away 
 with  a  distressing  sense  still  of  my  unspeakable  unworthiness. 
 Surely  I  may  well  love  all  my  brethren;  for  none  of  them  all  is 
 so  vile  as  1 :  whatever  they  do  outwardly,  yet  it  seems  to  me  none 
 is  so  conscious  of  so  much  guilt  before  God.  O  my  leanness,  my 
 barrenness,  my  carnality,  and  past  bitterness,  and  want  of  a  gos- 
 pel temper !  These  things  oppress  my  soul.  Rode  from  New* 
 York,  thirty  miles,  to  White  Plains,  and  most  of  the  way  con- 
 tinued lifting  up  my  heart  to  God  for  mercy  and  purifying  grace  : 
 and  spent  the  evening  much  dejected  in  spirit." 
 
 The  three  next  days,  he  continued  in  this  frame,  in  a  great 
 sense  of  his  own  vileness,  with  an  evident  mixture  of  melancholy, 
 in  no  small  degree;  but  had  some  intervals  of  comfort,  and  God's 
 sensible  presence  with  him. 
 
 Dec,  1.  "My  soul  breathed  after  God,  in  sweet  spiritual  and 
 longing  desires  of  conformity  to  him;  my  soul  wa^  brought  to 
 rest  itself  and  all,  on  his  rich  grace,  and  felt  strength  and  encour- 
 agement to  do  or  suffer  any  thing  that  divine  providence  should 
 allot  me.     Rode  about  twenty  miles  from  Stratfield  to  Newtown." 
 
 Within  the  space  of  the  7iext  nine  days,  he  went  a  journey  from 
 Newtown  to  Haddam,  his  native  town ;  and  after  staying  there 
 some  days,  returned  again  into  the  western  part  of  Connecticut, 
 and  came  to  Southbury.  In  his  account  of  the  frames  and  exer- 
 cises of  his  mind,  during  this  space  of  time,  are  such  things  as 
 these  ;  frequent  turns  of  dejection  ;  a  sense  of  his  vileness,  emp- 
 tiness, and  an  unfathomable  abyss  of  desperate  wickedness  in  his 
 heart,  attended  with  a  conviction  that  he  had  never  seen  but  little 
 
84  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 of  it ;  bitterly  mourning  over  his  barrenness,  being  greatly  griev- 
 ed that  he  could  not  live  to  God,  to  whom  he  owed  his  all  ten 
 thousand  times,  crying  out,  "My  leanness,  my  leanness!"  a  sense 
 of  the  meetness  and  suitableness  of  his  lying  in  the  dust  beneath 
 the  feet  of  infinite  majesty  ;  fervency  and  ardour  in  prayer ;  long- 
 ing to  live  to  God  ;  being  afflicted  with  some  impertinent,  trifling 
 conversation  that  he  heard ;  but  enjoying  sweetness  in  Christian 
 conversation. 
 
 Dec.  11.  "Conversed  with  a  dear  friend,  to  whom  I  had 
 thought  of  giving  a  liberal  education,  and  being  at  the  whole 
 charge  of  it,  that  he  might  be  fitted  for  the  gospel  ministry.*  I 
 acquainted  him  with  my  thoughts  in  that  matter,  and  so  left  him 
 to  consider  of  it,  till  I  should  see  him  again.  Then  I  rode  to 
 Bethlehem,  came  to  Mr.  Bellamy's  lodgings,  and  spent  the  eve- 
 ning with  him  in  sweet  conversation  and  prayer.  We  recom- 
 mended the  concern  of  sending  my  friend  to  college  to  the  God 
 of  all  grace.  Blessed  be  the  Lord  for  this  evening's  opportunity 
 together. 
 
 LorcVs  day,  Dec.  12.  "I  felt,  in  the  morning,  as  if  I  had  little 
 or  no  power  either  to  pray  or  preach  ;  and  felt  a  distressing  need 
 of  divine  help.  I  went  to  meeting  trembling;  but  it  pleased  God 
 to  assist  me  in  prayer  and  sermon.  I  think  my  soul  scarce  ever 
 penetrated  so  far  into  the  immaterial  world,  in  any  one  prayer 
 that  I  ever  made,  nor  were  my  devotions  ever  so  free  from  gross 
 conceptions  and  imaginations  framed  from  beholding  material 
 objects.  I  preached  with  some  sweetness,  from  Matt.  vi.  33. 
 But  seek  ye  first  the  kingdom  of  Godj  &;c.;  and  in  the  afternoon, 
 from  Rom.  xv.  30.  Andnoio  I  beseech  you,  brethren^  <Sz;c.  There 
 was  much  affection  in  the  assembly.  This  has  been  a  sweet  Sab- 
 bath to  me  ;  and  blessed  be  God,  I  have  reason  to  think  that  my 
 religion  is  become  more  spiritual,  by  means  of  my  late  inward 
 conflicts.  Amen.  May  I  always  be  willing  that  God  should  use 
 his  own  methods  with  me ! 
 
 *  Brainerd,  having  now  undertaken  the  businessof  a  missionary  to  the  Indians, 
 and  expecting  in  a  little  time  to  leave  his  native  country,  to  go  among  the  savages 
 into  the  wilderness,  far  distant,  and  spend  the  remainder  of  his  life  among  them — 
 and  having  some  estate  left  him  by  his  father,  and  thinking  he  should  have  no  oc- 
 casion for  it  among  them,  (though  afterwards,  as  he  told  me,  he  found  himself 
 mistaken,) — set  himself  to  think  which  way  he  might  spend  it  most  for  the  glory  of 
 God  ;  and  no  way  presenting  to  his  thoughts,  wherein  he  could  do  more  good  with 
 it,  than  by  being  at  the  charge  of  educating  some  young  person  for  the  ministry, 
 who  appeared  to  be  of  good  abilities,  and  well  disposed,  he  fixed  upon  the  person 
 here  spoken  of  to  this  end.  Accordingly  he  was  soon  put  to  learning;  and  BrAin- 
 ERD  continued  to  be  at  the  charge  of  his  education  from  year  to  year,  so  long  as 
 he  lived,  which  was  till  this  young  man  was  carried  through  his  third  year  in 
 college. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  85 
 
 Dec,  13.  "Joined  in  prayer  with  Mr.  Bellanr.y;  and  found 
 sweetness  and  composure  in  parting  with  him,  as  he  went  a  jour- 
 ney. Enjoyed  some  sweetness  through  the  day;  and  just  at  night 
 rode  down  to  Woodbury. 
 
 Dec,  14.  "  Some  perplexity  hung  on  my  mind  ;  I  was  distres- 
 sed last  night  and  this  morning  for  the  interest  of  Zion,  especial- 
 ly on  account  of  the  false  appearances  of  religion^  that  do  but 
 rather  breed  confusion,  especially  in  some  places.  I  cried  to 
 God  for  help,  to  enable  me  to  bear  testimony  against  those  things, 
 which,  instead  of  promoting,  do  but  hinder  the  progress  of  vital 
 piety.  In  the  afternoon,  rode  down  to  Southbury  ;  and  conver- 
 sed again  with  my  friend  about  the  important  affair  of  his  pursu- 
 ing the  work  of  the  ministry  ;  and  he  appeared  much  inclined  to 
 devote  himself  to  that  work,  if  God  should  succeed  his  attempts 
 to  qualify  himself  for  so  great  a  work.  In  the  evening  I  preached 
 from  1  Thess.  iv.  8.  He  therefore  that  despiseth,  &c.  and  endeav- 
 oured, though  with  tenderness  to  undermine  false  religion.  The 
 Lord  gave  me  some  assistance  ;  but,  however,  I  seemed  so  vile, 
 I  was  ashamed  to  be  seen  when  I  came  out  of  the  meeting- 
 house. 
 
 Dec.  15.  "Enjoyed  something  of  God  to-day,  both  in  secret 
 and  in  social  prayer;  but  was  sensible  of  much  barrenness  and 
 defect  in  duty,  as  well  as  my  inability  to  help  myself  for  the  time 
 to  come,  or  to  perform  the  work  and  business  I  have  to  do. 
 Afterwards,  felt  much  of  the  sweetness  of  religion,  and  the  ten- 
 derness of  the  gospel-temper.  I  found  a  dear  love  to  all  man- 
 kind, and  was  much  afraid  lest  some  motion  of  anger  or  resent- 
 ment should,  some  time  or  other,  creep  into  my  heart.  Had 
 some  comforting,  soul-refreshing  discourse  with  dear  friends,  just 
 as  we  took  our  leave  of  each  other;  and  supposed  it  might  be 
 likely  we  should  not  meet  again  till  we  came  to  the  eternal  world. "^ 
 I  doubt  not,  through  grace,  but  that  some  of  us  shall  have  a  hap- 
 py meeting  there,  and  bless  God  for  this  season,  as  well  as  many 
 others.  Amen, 
 
 Dec,  16.  "  Rode  down  to  Derby;  and  had  some  sweet  thoughts 
 on  the  road  :  especially  on  the  essence  of  our  salvation  by  Christ, 
 from  these  words.   Thou  shall  call  his  name  Jesus,  &c. 
 
 Dec,  1 7.  "  Spent  much  time  in  sweet  conversation  on  spiritual 
 things  with  dear  Mr.  Humphreys.  Rode  to  Ripton  ;  spent  some 
 time  in  prayer  with  dear  Christian  friends. 
 
 *  It  had  been  determined  by  the  commissioners,  who  employed  Brainerd  as  a 
 missionary,  that  he  should  go  as  soon  as  might  be,  conveniently,  to  the  Indians  liv- 
 ing near  the  Forks  of  Delaware  river,  in  Pennsylvania,  and  the  Indians  on  Sus- 
 quehannah  river;  which  being  far  off,  where  also  he  would  be  exposed  to  many- 
 hardships  and  danger?,  was  the  occasion  of  hi?  taking  leave  of  his  friends  in  this 
 manner. 
 
86  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 Dec,  1 8.  "  Spent  much  time  in  prayer  in  the  woods ;  and 
 seemed  raised  above  the  things  of  the  world  :  my  soul  was  strong 
 in  the  Lord  of  hosts  ;  but  was  sensible  of  great  barrenness. 
 
 Lord?s  day,  Dec,  19.  "At  the  sacrament  of  the  Lord's  supper 
 I  seemed  strong  in  the  Lord ;  and  the  world,  with  all  it  frowns 
 and  flatteries,  in  a  great  measure  disappeared,  so  that  my  soul 
 had  nothing  to  do  with  them  :  and  1  felt  a  disposition  to  be  wholly 
 and  for  ever  the  Lord's. — In  the  evening,  enjoyed  something  of 
 the  divine  presence ;  had  a  humbling  sense  of  my  vileness,  bar- 
 renness, and  sinfulness.  Oh,  it  wounded  me  to  think  of  the  mis- 
 improvement  of  time!      God  be  merciful  to  me  a  sinner, 
 
 Dec,  20.  "  Spent  this  day  in  prayer,  reading,  and  writing  : 
 and  enjoyed  some  assistance,  especially  in  correcting  some 
 thoughts  on  a  certain  subject ;  but  had  a  mournful  sense  of  my 
 barrenness. 
 
 Dec,  21.  "Had  a  sense  of  my  insufficiency  for  any  public 
 work  and  business,  as  well  as  to  live  to  God.  I  rode  over  to 
 Derby,  and  preached  there.  It  pleased  God  to  give  me  very 
 sweet  assistance  and  enlargement,  and  to  enable  me  to  speak 
 with  a  soft,  tender  power  and  energy. — We  had  afterwards  a 
 comfortable  evening  in  singing  and  prayer.  God  enabled  me  to 
 pray  with  as  much  spirituality  and  sweetness  as  I  have  done  for 
 some  time:  my  mind  seemed  to  be  unclothed  of  sense  and  im- 
 agination, and  was  in  a  measure  let  into  the  immaterial  world  of 
 spirits.  This  day  was,  I  trust,  through  infinite  goodness,  made 
 very  profitable  to  a  number  of  us,  to  advance  our  souls  in  holi- 
 ness and  conformity  to  God :  the  glory  be  to  him  for  ever.  Amen. 
 How  blessed  if  is  to  groro  more  and  more  like  God, 
 
 Dec,  22.  "Enjoyed  some  assistance  in  preaching  at  Ripton  j 
 but  my  soul  mourned  within  me  for  my  barrenness. 
 
 Dec.  23.  "  Enjoyed,  1  trust,  the  presence  of  God  this  morn- 
 ing in  secret.  Oil,  how  divinely  sweet  is  it  to  come  into  the  secret 
 of  his  presence,  and  abide  in  his  pavillion  ! — Took  an  affection- 
 ate leave  of  friends,  not  expecting  to  see  them  again  for  a  very 
 considerable  time,  if  ever  in  this  world.  Rode  with  Mr.  Hum- 
 phreys to  his  house  in  Derby ;  spent  the  time  in  sweet  conversa- 
 tion ;  my  soul  was  refreshed  and  sweetly  melted  with  divine 
 things.  Oh  that  I  was  always  consecrated  to  God  !  Near  night, 
 I  rode  to  New-Haven,  and  there  enjoyed  some  sweetness  in 
 prayer  and  conversation,  with  some  dear  Christian  friends.  My 
 mind  was  sweetly  serious  and  composed  ;  but  alas  !  I  too  much 
 lost  the  sense  of  divine  things." 
 
 He  continued  much  in  the  same  frame  of  mind,  and  in  like 
 exercises,  the  twofollowhtg  days. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  87 
 
 Lordh  Dai/,  Dec.  26.  "  Felt  much  sweetness  and  tenderness 
 in  prayer,  especially  my  whole  soul  seemed  to  love  my  worst  en- 
 emies, and  was  enabled  to  pray  for  those  that  are  strangers  and 
 enemies  to  God,  with  a  great  degree  of  softness  and  pathetic 
 fervour.  In  the  evening,  rode  from  New-Haven  to  Branford, 
 after  I  had  kneeled  down  and  prayed  with  a  number  of  dear 
 Christian  friends  in  a  very  retired  place  in  the  woods,  and  so 
 parted. 
 
 Dec.  27.  "Enjoyed  a  precious  season  indeed;  had  a  sweet 
 melting  sense  of  divine  things,  of  the  pure  spirituality  of  the  re- 
 ligion of  Christ  Jesus.  In  the  evening,  I  preached  from  Matth. 
 vi.  33.  But  seek  yt  first ^  &c.  with  much  freedom,  and  sweet  pow- 
 er and  pungency  :  the  presence  of  God  attended  our  meeting. 
 Oh,  the  sweetness,  the  tenderness  I  felt  in  my  soul !  If  ever 
 I  felt  the  temper  of  Christ,  I  had  some  sense  of  it  now.  Bles- 
 sed be  my  God,  I  have  seldom  enjoyed  a  more  comfortable  and 
 profitable  day  than  this.  Oh,  that  I  could  spend  all  my  time  for 
 God! 
 
 Dec.  28.  "  Rode  from  Branford  to  Haddam.  In  the  morning 
 my  clearness  and  sweetness  in  divine  things  continued  ;  but  after- 
 wards my  spiritual  life  sensibly  declined." 
 
 The  next  twelve  days,  he  was  for  the  most  part  extremely  de- 
 jected, discouraged,  and  distressed;  and  was  evidently  very  much 
 under  the  power  of  melancholy.  There  are  from  day  to  day 
 most  bitter  complaints  of  exceeding  vileness,  ignorance,  and 
 corruption  ;  an  amazing  load  of  guilt,  unworthiness,  even  to 
 creep  on  God's  earth,  everlasting  uselessness,  fitness  for  nothing, 
 &c.  and  sometimes  expressions  even  of  horror  at  the  thpughts  of 
 ever  preaching  again.  But  yet,  in  this  time  of  great  dejection, 
 he  speaks  of  several  intervals  of  divine  help  and  comfort. 
 
 The  three  next  days,  which  were  spent  at  Hebron  and  the 
 Crank,  (a  parish  in  Lebanon.)  he  had  relief,  and  enjoyed  consid- 
 erable comfort. 
 
 Jan.  14,  1743.  "  My  spiritual  conflicts  to-day  were  unspeaka- 
 bly dreadful,  heavier  than  the  mountains  and  over-flowing  floods. 
 I  seemed  inclosed,  as  it  were,  in  hell  itself:  I  was  deprived  of  all 
 sense  of  God,  even  of  the  being  of  a  God;  and  that  was  my 
 misery.  I  had  no  awful  apprehensions  of  God  as  angry.  This 
 was  distress,  the  nearest  akin  to  the  damned's  torments,  that  I 
 ever  endured  :  their  torment,  I  am  sure,  will  consist  much  in  a 
 privation  of  God,  and  consequently  of  all  good.  This  taught  me 
 the  absolute  dependence  of  a  creature  upon  God  the  Creator,  for 
 every  crumb  of  happiness  it  enjoys.     Oh,   I  feel   that,  if  there 
 
88  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 is  no  God,  though  1  might  live  for  ever  here,  and  enjoy  not  only 
 this,  but  all  other  worlds,  I  should  be  ten  thousand  times  more 
 miserable  than  a  reptile.  My  soul  was  in  such  anguish  I  could 
 not  eat ;  but  felt  as  I  suppose  a  poor  wretch  would  that  is  just  go- 
 ing to  the  place  of  execution.  1  was  almost  swallowed  up  with 
 anguish,  when  I  saw  people  gathering  together,  to  hear  me  preach. 
 However,  I  went  in  that  distress  to  the  house  of  God,  and  found 
 not  much  relief  in  the  first  prayer:  it  seemed  as  if  God  would 
 let  loose  the  people  upon  me  to  destroy  me;  nor  were  the  thoughts 
 of  death  distressing  to  me,  like  my  own  vileness.  But  afterwards 
 in  my  discourse  from  Deut.  viii.  2.  God  was  pleased  to  give  me 
 some  freedom  and  enlargement,  some  power  and  spirituality;  and 
 I  spent  the  evening  somewhat  comfortably." 
 
 The  izvo  next  days,  his  comfort  continues,  and  he  seems  to  en- 
 joy an  almost  continual  sweetness  of  soul  in  the  duties  and  exer- 
 cises of  religion  and  christian  conversation.  On  Monday  was  a 
 return  of  the  gloom  he  had  been  under  the  Friday  before.  He 
 rode  to  Coventry  this  day,  and  the  latter  part  of  the  day  had 
 more  freedom.  On  Tuesday  he  rode  to  Canterbury,  and  continu- 
 ed more  comfortable. 
 
 Jan.  19,  "  [At  Canterbury.]  In  the  afternoon  preached  the 
 lecture  at  the  meeting-house ;  felt  some  tenderness,  and  somewhat 
 of  the  gospel  temper:  exhorted  the  people  to  love  one  another, 
 and  not  to  set  up  their  own  frames  as  a  standard  by  which  to  try- 
 all  their  brethren.  But  was  much  pressed,  most  of  the  day,  with 
 a  sense  of  my  own  badness,  inward  impurity,  and  unspeakable 
 corruption.  Spent  the  evening  in  tender.  Christian  conversa- 
 tion. 
 
 Jan,  20.  "  Rode  to  my  brother's  house  between  Norwich  and 
 Lebanon  ;  and  preached  in  the  evening  to  a  number  of  people  : 
 enjoyed  neither  freedom  nor  spirituality,  but  saw  myself  exceed- 
 ing unworthy. 
 
 Jan.  2],  "Had  great  inward  conflicts;  enjoyed  but  little 
 comfort.  Went  to  see  Mr.  Williams  of  Lebanon,  and  spent 
 several  hours  with  him  ;  and  was  greatly  delighted  with  his 
 serious,  deliberate,  and  impartial  way  of  discourse  about  reli- 
 gion." 
 
 The  next  day  he  was  much  dejected. 
 
 Lord'^s  day,  Jan.  23.  I  scarce  ever  {e\t  myself  so  unfit  to  exist 
 as  now :  saw  I  was  not  worthy  of  a  place  among  the  Indians, 
 where  I  am  going,  if  God   permit :  thought  1  should  be  ashamed 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  89 
 
 to  look  them  in  the  face,  and  much  more  to  have  any  respect 
 shewn  me  there.  Indeed  I  felt  myself  banished  from  the  earth, 
 as  if  all  places  weie  too  good  for  such  a  wretch.  I  thought  1 
 should  be  ashamed  to  go  amon^  the  very  savages  of  Africa  ;  1  ap- 
 peared to  myself  a  creature  fit  for  nothing,  neither  heaven  nor 
 earth. — None  know,  but  those  who  feel  it,  what  the  soul  endures 
 that  is  sensibiy  shut  out  from  the  presence  of  God  :  alas!  it  is 
 more  bitter  than  death." 
 
 On  Monday  he  rode  to  Stonington,  Mr.  Fish's  parish. — On 
 Tuesday  he  expresses  considerable  degrees  of  spiritual  comfort 
 and  refreshment. 
 
 Jan.  26.  "Preached  to  a  pretty  large  assembly  at  Mr.  Fish's 
 meetinghouse:  insisted  on  humility  and  stedfastness  in  keeping 
 God's  commands  ;  and  that  through  humility  we  should  prefer  one 
 another  in  love,  and  not  make  our  own  frames  the  rule  by  which 
 we  judge  others.  I  felt  sweetly  calm,  and  full  of  brotherly  love; 
 and  never  more  free  from  party  spirit.  I  hope  some  good  will 
 follow  ;  that  Christians  will  be  freed  from  false  joy,  and  party 
 zeal,  and  censuring  one  another." 
 
 On  Thursday,  after  considerable  time  spent  in  prayer  and 
 Christian  conversation,  he  rode  to  New-London. 
 
 Jan.  28.  "Here  I  found  some  fallen  into  extravagances;  too 
 much  carried  away  with  a  false  zeal  and  bitterness.  Oh,  the 
 want  of  a  gospel  temper  is  greatly  to  be  lamented.  Spent  the 
 evening  in  conversing  about  some  points  of  conduct  in  both  min- 
 isters and  private  Christians  ;  but  did  not  agree  with  them.  God 
 had  not  taught  them  with  briars  and  thorns  to  be  of  a  kind  dispo- 
 sition towards  mankind." 
 
 On  Saturday,  he  rode  to  East-Haddam,  and  spent  the  three 
 following  days  there.  In  that  space  of  time  he  speaks  of  feeling 
 weanedness  from  the  world,  a  sense  of  the  nearness  of  eternity, 
 special  assistance  in  praying  for  the  enlargement  of  Christ's  king- 
 dom, times  of  spiritual  comfort,  &ic. 
 
 Feb.  2.  "Preached  my  farewel  sermon  last  night,  at  the  house 
 of  an  aged  man,  who  had  been  unable  to  attend  on  the  public 
 worship  for  some  time.  This  morning,  spent  the  time  in  prayer, 
 almost  wherever  I  went ;  and  having  taken  leave  of  friends,  I  set 
 out  on  my  journey  towards  the  Indians;  though  I  was  to  spend 
 
 12 
 
90  xMEMOlRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 some  time  at  East-Hampton,  on  Long-Island,  by  leave  of  the 
 commissioners  who  employed  me  in  the  Indian  affair;*  and  being 
 accompanied  by  a  messenger  from  East-Hampton,  we  travelled 
 to  Lyme.  On  the  road  I  felt  an  uncommon  pressure  of  mind:  I 
 seemed  to  struggle  hard  for  some  pleasure  in  something  here  below, 
 and  seemed  loth  to  give  up  all  for  gone;  saw  I  was  evidently 
 throwing  myself  into  all  hardships  and  distresses  in  my  present 
 undertaking.  I  thought  it  would  be  less  difficult  to  lie  down  in 
 the  grave;  but  yet  I  chose  to  go,  rather  than  stay. — Came  to 
 Lyme  that  night." 
 
 He  waited  the  two  next  days  for  a  passage  over  the  Sound,  and 
 spent  much  of  the  time  in  inward  conflicts  and  dejection,  but  had 
 some  comfort. 
 
 On  Saturday  he  crossed  the  Sound,  landed  at  Oyster-pond-point 
 on  Long-island,  and  travelled  from  thence  to  East-Hampton.  And 
 the  seven  following  days  he  spent  there,  for  the  most  part,  under 
 extreme  dejection  and  gloominess  of  mind,  with  great  complaints 
 of  darkness,  ignorance,  &:c.  Yet  his  heart  appears  to  have  been 
 constantly  engaged  in  the  great  business  of  religion,  much  con- 
 cerned for  the  interest  of  rehgion  in  East-Hampton,  and  praying 
 and  labouring  much  for  it. 
 
 Feb.  12.  "Enjoyed  a  little  more  comfort;  was  enabled  to 
 meditate  with  some  composure  of  mind  ;  and  especially  in  the 
 evening,  found  my  soul  more  refreshed  in  prayer,  than  at  any 
 time  of  late  ;  my  soul  seemed  to  "  take  hold  of  God's  strength," 
 and  was  comforted  with  his  consolations,  O,  how  sweet  are 
 some  glimpses  of  divine  glory  !  how  strengthening  and  quick- 
 ening! 
 
 Lord^s  day,  Feb.  13.  "At  noon,  under  a  great  degree  of  dis- 
 couragement ;  knew  not  how  it  was  possible  for  me  to  preach  in 
 the  afternoon.  I  was  ready  to  give  up  all  for  gone  ;  but  God  was 
 pleased  to  assist  me  in  some  measure.  In  the  evening,  my  heart 
 was  sweetly  drawn  out  after  God,  and  devoted  to  him." 
 
 The  next  day,  he  had  comfort  and  dejection  intermingled. 
 
 Feb.  15.  "Early  in  the  day  I  felt  some  comfort;  afterwards 
 I  walked   into  a    neighbouring  grove,  and  felt  more  as  a  stranger 
 
 *  The  reason  why  the  commissioners  or  correspondents  did  not  order  Brainerd 
 to  go  immp.diately  to  the  Indiatis,  and  enter  on  his  business  as  a  missionary,  was, 
 that  the  winter  was  not  judged  to  be  a  convenient  season  for  him  first  to  go  out  into 
 the  wilderness,  and  enter  on  the  difficulties  and  hardships  to  which  he  must  there 
 be  exposed. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  91 
 
 on  earth,  I  think,  than  ever  before;  dead  to  any  of  the  enjoy- 
 ments of  the  world,  as  if  I  had  been  dead  in  a  natural  sense. — 
 In  the  evening,  had  divine  sweetness  in  secret  duty  :  God  was 
 then  my  portion,  and  my  soul  rose  above  those  deep  waters^  into 
 which  I  have  sunk  so  low  of  late. — My  soul  then  cried  for  Zion, 
 and  had  sweetness  in  so  doing." 
 
 This  sweet  frame  continued  the  next  morning;  but  afterwards 
 his  inward  distress  returned. 
 
 Feb.  17.  "In  the  morning,  found  myself  comfortable,  and 
 rested  on  God  in  some  measure. — Preached  this  day  at  a  little  vil- 
 lage belonging  to  East-Hampton;  and  God  was  pleased  to  give 
 me  his  gracious  presence  and  assistance,  so  that  I  spake  with  free- 
 dom, boldness,  and  some  power.  In  the  evening,  spent  some 
 time  with  a  dear  Christian  friend  ;  and  felt  serious,  as  on  the  brink 
 of  eternity.  My  soul  enjoyed  sweetness  in  lively  apprehensions 
 of  standing  before  the  glorious  God :  prayed  with  my  dear  friend 
 with  sweetness,  and  discoursed  with  the  utmost  solemnity.  And 
 truly  it  was  a  little  emblem  of  heaven  itself. — I  find  my  soul  is 
 more  refined  and  weaned  from  a  dependence  on  my  frames  and 
 spiritual  feelings. 
 
 Feb.  18.  "  Felt  somewhat  sweetly  most  of  the  day,  and  found 
 access  to  the  throne  of  grace.  Blessed  be  the  Lord  for  any  in- 
 tervals of  heavenly  delight  and  composure,  while  I  am  engaged 
 in  the  field  of  battle.  Oh,  that  I  might  be  serious,  solemn,  and 
 always  vigilant,  while  in  an  evil  world  !  Had  some  opportunity 
 alone  to  day,  and  found  some  freedom  in  study.  O,  I  long  to 
 live  to  God! 
 
 Feb.  19.  "Was  exceeding  infirm  to-day,  greatly  troubled  with 
 pain  in  my  head  and  dizziness,  scarce  able  to  sit  up.  However, 
 enjoyed  something  of  God  in  prayer,  and  performed  some  neces- 
 sary studies.  I  exceedingly  long  to  die  ;  and  yet,  through  divine 
 goodness,  have  felt  very  willing  to  live,  for  two  or  three  days 
 past. 
 
 Lord'^s  day,  Feb.  20.  "  I  was  perplexed  on  account  of  my 
 carelessness;  thought  I  could  not  be  suitably  concerned  about  the 
 important  work  of  the  day,  and  so  was  restless  with  my  easiness. 
 Was  exceeding  infirm  again  to-day ;  but  the  Lord  strengthened 
 me,  both  in  the  outward  and  inward  man,  so  that  I  preached  with 
 some  life  and  spirituality,  especially  in  the  afternoon,  wherein  I 
 was  enabled  to  speak  closely  against  selfish  religion,  that  loves 
 Christ  for  his  benefits,  but  not  for  himself" 
 
02  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 During  the  next  fortnight,  it  appears  that  for  the  most  part  be 
 enjoyed  much  spiritual  peace  and  comfort.  In  his  diary  for  this 
 space  of  time,  are  expressed  such  tilings  as  these ;  mom-ning 
 over  indwelling  sin,  and  unprofitableness;  deadness  to  the  world; 
 longing  after  God,  and  to  live  to  his  glory  ;  heart-melting  desires 
 after  his  eternal  home;  fixed  reliance  on  God  for  his  help;  ex- 
 perience of  much  divine  assistance,  both  in  the  private  and  public 
 exercises  of  religion ;  inward  strength  and  courage  in  the  service 
 of  God  ;  very  frequent  refreshment,  consolation,  and  divine  sweet- 
 ness in  meditation,  prayer,  preaching,  and  christian  conversation. 
 And  it  appears  by  his  account,  that  this  space  of  time  was  filled 
 up  with  great  diligence  and  earnestness  in  serving  God,  in  study, 
 prayer,  meditation,  preaching,  and  privately  instructing  and  coun- 
 selling. 
 
 March  7.  "  This  morning  when  I  arose,  I  found  my  heart  go  forth 
 after  God  in  longing  desires  of  conformity  to  him,  and  in  secret 
 prayer  found  myself  sweetly  quickened  and  drawn  out  in  praises  to 
 God  for  all  he  had  done  to  and  for  me,  and  for  all  my  inward  trials 
 and  distresses  of  late.  J\1y  heart  ascribed  glory,  glory,  glory  to  the 
 blessed  God  !  and  bid  welcome  to  all  inward  distress  again,  if  God 
 saw  meet  to  exercise  me  with  it.  Time  appeared  but  an  inch 
 long,  and  eternity  at  hand;  and  I  thought  I  could  with  patience 
 and  cheerfulness  bear  any  thing  for  the  cause  of  God  ;  for  I  saw 
 that  a  moment  would  bring  me  to  a  world  of  peace  and  blessed- 
 ness. My  soul,  by  the  strength  of  the  Lord,  rose  far  above  this 
 lower  world,  and  all  the  vain  amusements  and  frightful  disappoint- 
 ments of  it.  Afterwards,  had  some  sweet  meditation  on  Genesis 
 v.  24.  And  Enoch  walked  with  God,  &,c.  This  was  a  comforta- 
 ble day  to  my  soul." 
 
 The  next  day,  he  seems  to  have  continued  In  a  considerable 
 degree  of  sweetness  and  fervency  in  religion. 
 
 March  9.  "  Endeavoured  to  commit  myself,  and  all  my  con- 
 cerns to  God.  Rode  sixteen  miles  to  Montauk,*  and  had  some 
 inward  sweetness  on  the  road;  but  somewhat  of  flatness  and  dead- 
 ness after  I  came  there  and  had  seen  the  Indians.  I  withdrew, 
 and  endeavoured  to  pray,  but  found  myself  awfully  deserted  and 
 left,  and  had  an  afflicting  sense  of  my  vileness  and  meanness. 
 However,  I  went  and  preached  from  Is.  liii.  10.  Yet  it  pleased 
 the  Lord  to  bruise  him,  Sec.     Had   some  assistance  :  and  I  trust 
 
 *  IVTontauk  is  the  eastern  cape  or  end  of  Long-Island,  inhabited  chiefl>  by  In- 
 dians. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  93 
 
 somewhat  of  the  divine  presence  was  among  us.  In  the  evening, 
 I  again  prayed  and  exhorted  among  them,  after  having  had  a  sea- 
 son alone,  wherein  I  was  so  pressed  with  the  blackness  of  my  na- 
 ture, that  I  thought  it  was  not  fit  for  me  to  speak  so  much  as  to 
 Indians." 
 
 The  next  day,  be  returned  to  East-Hampton  ;  was  exceeding 
 infirm  in  body,  through  the  remaining  part  of  this  week;  but 
 speaks  of  assistance  and  enlargement  in  study  and  religious  exer- 
 cises, and  of  inward  sweetness,  and  breathing  after  God. 
 
 Lord''s  day,  March  13.  "  At  noon,  I  thought  it  impossible  for 
 me  to  preach,  by  reason  of  bodily  weakness,  and  inward  dead- 
 ness.  In  the  first  prayer,  I  was  so  weak  that  I  could  hardly  stand; 
 but  in  the  sermon,  God  strengthened  me,  so  that  I  spake  near  an 
 hour  and  a  half  with  sweet  freedom,  clearness,  and  some  tender 
 power,  from  Gen.  v.  24.  And  Enoch  ivalked  with  God.  I  was 
 sweetly  assisted  to  insist  on  a  close  walk  with  God,  and  to  leave 
 this  as  my  parting  advice  to  God's  people  here,  that  they  should 
 walk  with  God.  May  the  God  of  all  grace  succeed  my  poor  la- 
 bours in  this  place  ! 
 
 March  14.  "In  the  morning,  was  very  busy  in  preparation 
 for  my  journey,  and  was  almost  continually  engaged  in  ejaculato- 
 ry  prayer.  About  ten,  took  leave  of  the  dear  people  of  East- 
 Hampton ;  my  heart  grieved  and  mourned,  and  rejoiced  at  the 
 same  time ;  rode  near  fifty  miles  to  a  part  of  Brook-Haven,  and 
 lodged  there,  and  had  refreshing  conversation  with  a  Christian 
 friend." 
 
 In  two  days  more,  he  reached  New-York ;  but  complains  of 
 much  desertion  and  deadness  on  the  road.  He  stayed  one  day 
 in  New-York,  and  on  Friday  went  to  Mr.  Dickinson's  at  Eliza- 
 beth-Town. His  complaints  are  the  same  as  on  the  two  prece- 
 ding days. 
 
 March  19.  "Was  bitterly  distressed  under  a  sense  of  my  ig- 
 norance, darkness,  and  unworthiness ;  got  alone,  and  poured  out 
 my  complaint  to  God  in  the  bitterness  of  my  soul.  In  the  after- 
 noon, rode  to  Newark,  and  had  some  sweetness  in  conversation 
 with  Mr.  Burr,*  and  in  praying  together.  O  blessed  be  God  for- 
 ever atid  ever,  for  any  enlivening  and  quickening  seasons 
 
 Lord^s  day,  March  20.  "  Preached  in  the  forenoon :  God 
 gave  me  some  assistance  and  sweetness,  and  enabled  me  to  speak 
 
 *  Afterwards  Prepiclent  Burr,  of  Nassau  Hall. 
 
<)4  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 with  real  tenderness,  love,  and  impartiality.  In  the  evening, 
 preached  again;  and  of  a  truth,  God  was  pleased  to  assist  a  poor 
 worm.  Blessed  be  God,  I  was  enabled  to  speak  with  life,  power, 
 and  desire  of  the  edification  of  God's  people;  and  with  some 
 power  to  sinners.  In  the  evening,  I  felt  spiritual  and  watchful, 
 lest  my  heart  should  by  any  means  be  drawn  away  from  God. 
 O  when  shall  I  come  to  that  blessed  world,  where  every  power 
 of  my  soul  will  be  incessantly  and  eternally  wound  up  in  heaven- 
 ly employments  and  enoyments,  to  the  highest  degree! 
 
 On  Monday,  he  went  to  Woodbridge,  where  he  speaks  of  his 
 being  with  a  number  of  ministers;*  and,  the  day  following,  of 
 his  travelling  part  of  the  way  towards  New-York.  On  WedneS" 
 dr  :,  he  came  to  New-York.  On  Thursday,  he  rode  near  fifty 
 mas,  from  New-York  to  North-Castle.  On  Friday,  went  to 
 Danbury.  Saturday  to  New-Milford.  On  the  Sabbath  he  rode 
 five  or  six  miles  to  the  place  near  Kent  in  Connecticut,  called 
 Scalicocke,  where  dwell  a  number  of  Indians,!  and  preached  to 
 them.  On  Monday  being  detained  by  the  rain,  he  tarried  at 
 Kent,  On  Tuesday,  he  rode  from  Kent  to  Salisbury.  Wednesday^ 
 he  went  to  Sheffield.  Thursday,  March  31,  he  went  to  Mr.  Ser- 
 geant's at  Stockbridge.  He  was  dejected  and  very  disconsolate, 
 through  the  main  of  this  journey  from  New-Jersey  to  Stock- 
 brige;  and  especially  on  the  last  day  his  mind  was  overwhelmed 
 with  peculiar  gloom  and  melancholy. 
 
 *  These  ministers  were  the  Correspondents  who  now  met  at  Woodbridge,  and 
 gave  Brainebd  new  directions.  Instead  of  sending  him  to  the  Indians  at  the 
 Forks  of  Delaware,  as  before  intended,  they  ordered  him  to  go  to  a  number  of  Indi- 
 ans at  Kaunaumeek  ;  a  place  in  the  province  of  New-York,  in  the  woods  between 
 Stockbridge  and  Albany.  This  alteration  was  occasioned  by  two  things.  1.  Infor- 
 mation which  the  correspondents  had  received  of  some  contention  now  subsisting; 
 between  the  white  people  and  the  Indians  at  Delaware,  concerning  their  lands; 
 which  they  supposed  would  be  a  hinderance,  at  present,  to  their  entertainment  of 
 a  missionary,  and  to  his  success  among  them.  2.  Some  intimations  which  they  had 
 received  from  Mr.  Sergeant,  iVlissionai*y  tp  Hip.  Indians  at  Stockbridge,  concerning 
 the  Indians  at  Kaunaumeek,  and  the  hopeful  prospect  of  success  which  a  Missionary 
 might  have  among  them. 
 
 t  These  were  the  same  Indians  which  BrAinerd  mentions  in  his  Diary,  Au- 
 gust 12,  1742. 
 
CHAPTER  V. 
 
 From  the   Commencement  of  his  Labours  at  Kaunaumeek,  to  his  Ordi- 
 nation. 
 
 •^pril  1,  1743.  "I  rode  to  Kaunaumeek,  near  twenty  miles 
 from  Stockbridge,  where  the  Indians  live  with  whom  I  am  con- 
 cerned, and  there  lodged  on  a  little  heap  of  straw.  I  was  greatly 
 exercised  with  inward  trials  and  distresses  all  day;  and  in  the 
 evening,  my  heart  was  sunk,  and  I  seemed  to  have  no  God  to  go 
 to.     Oh  that  God  would  help  me !" 
 
 The  next  Jive  days,  he  was  for  the  most  part  in  a  dejected,  de- 
 pressed state  of  mind,  and  sometimes  extremely  so.  He  speaks 
 of  God's  "  waves  and  billows  rolling  over  his  soul;"  and  of  his  be- 
 ing ready  sometimes  to  say,  "Surely  his  mercy  is  clean  gone  for- 
 ever, and  he  will  be  favourable  no  more;  and  says  the  anguish  he 
 endured,  was  nameless  and  inconceivable;  but  at  the  same  time 
 speaks  thus  concerning  his  distresses,  *'  What  God  designs  by  all 
 my  distresses,  I  know  not;  but  this  I  know,  I  deserve  them  all, 
 and  thousands  more."  He  gives  an  account  of  the  Indians  kind- 
 ly receiving  him,  and  being  seriously  attentive  to  his  instructions. 
 
 Jlpril  7.  ''Appeared  to  myself  exceedingly  ignorant,  weak, 
 helpless,  unworthy,  and  altogether  unequal  to  my  work.  It 
 seemed  to  me,  that  I  should  never  do  any  service,  or  have  anv 
 success  among  the  Indians.  My  soul  was  weary  of  my  life;  I 
 longed  for  death,  beyond  measure.  When  I  thought  of  any  god- 
 ly soul  departed;  my  soul  was  ready  to  envy  him  his  privilege, 
 thinking,  "O  when  will  my  turn  come!  must  it  be  years  first!" 
 But  I  know  these  ardent  desires,  at  this  and  other  times,  rose  part- 
 ly for  want  of  resignation  to  God  under  all  miseries;  and  so  were 
 but  impatience.  Towards  night,  I  had  the  exercise  of  faith  in 
 prayer,  and  some  assistance  in  writing.  Oh  that  God  would  keep 
 me  near  him! 
 
 Aprils.  "Was  exceedingly  pressed  under  a  sense  of  my 
 pride,  selfishness,  bitterness,  and  party  spirit,  in  times  past,  while  I 
 attempted  to  promote  the  csuse  of  God.  Its  vile  natu-e  and 
 dreadful  consequences  appeared  in  such  odious  colours  to  me,  that 
 roy  very  heart  was  pained.     I  saw  how  poor  souls  stumbled  over 
 
96  xMEMOlRS  OF  BKAINERD. 
 
 it  into  everlasting  destruction,  that  I  was  constrained  to  make  that 
 prayer  in  the  bitterness  of  my  soul,  "  O  Lord,  deliver  me  from 
 blood-guiltiness."  I  saw  my  desert  of  hell  on  this  account.  My 
 soul  was  full  of  inward  anguish  and  shame  before  God,  that  I  had 
 spent  so  much  time  in  conversation  tending  only  to  promote  a  par- 
 ty-spirit, I  saw  that  I  had  not  suitably  prized  mortification,  self- 
 denial,  resignation  under  all  adversities,  meekness,  love,  candour, 
 and  holiness  of  heart  and  life  :  and  this  day  was  almost  wholly 
 spent  in  such  bitter,  and  soul-afflicting  reflections  on  my  past 
 frames  and  conduct.  Of  late,  I  have  thought  much  of  having  the 
 kingdom  of  Christ  advanced  in  the  world  ;  but  now  I  saw  I  had 
 enough  to  do  within  myself.  The  Lord  he  merciful  to  me  a  sin- 
 ner, and  wash  my  soul! 
 
 April  9.  "'  Remained  much  in  the  same  state  as  yesterday  ; 
 excepting  that  the  sense  of  my  vileness  was  not  so  quick  and 
 acute. 
 
 Lord^s  day,  April  10.  "  Rose  early  in  the  morning,  and  walked 
 out  and  spent  a  considerable  time  in  the  woods,  in  prayer  and 
 meditation.  Preached  to  the  Indians,  both  forenoon  and  after- 
 noon. They  behaved  soberly  in  general :  two  or  three  in  par- 
 ticular appeared  under  some  religious  concern;  with  whom  I 
 discoursed  privately ;  and  one  told  me,  "  that  her  heart  had  cri- 
 ed, ever  since  she  had  heard  me  preach  first." 
 
 The  next  day,  he  complains  of  much  desertion. 
 
 April  12,  ''Was  greatly  oppressed  with  grief  and  shame,  re- 
 flecting on  my  past  conduct,  my  bitterness  and  party  zeal.  I  was 
 ashamed,  to  think  that  such  a  wretch  as  I,  had  ever  preached. 
 Longed  to  be  excused  from  that  work.  And  when  my  soul  was 
 not  in  anguish  and  keen  distress,  "  I  felt  senseless  as  a  beast  be- 
 fore God,"  and  felt  a  kind  of  guilty  amusement  with  the  least 
 trifles ;  which  still  maintained  a  kind  of  stifled  horror  of  con- 
 science, so  that  I  could  not  rest  any  more  than  a  condemned  male- 
 factor. 
 
 April  ]  3.  "  My  heart  was  overwhelmed  within  me  :  I  verily 
 thought  that  I  was  the  meanest,  vilest,  most  helpless,  guilty,  igno- 
 rant, benighted  creature  living.  And  yet  I  knew  what  God  had 
 done  for  my  soul,  at  the  same  time  :  though  sometimes  I  was  as- 
 saulted with  damping  doubts  and  fears,  whether  it  was  possible 
 for  such  a  wretch  as  I  to  be  in  a  state  of  grace. 
 
 April  14.     "  Remained  much  in  the  same  state  as  yesterday. 
 
 April  15.  "In  the  forenoon,  very  disconsolate.  In  the  after- 
 noon, preached  to  my  people,  and  was  a  little  encouraged  in  some 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  97 
 
 hopes  that  God  might  bestow  mercy  on  their  souls.  Felt  some- 
 what resigned  to  God  under  all  dispensations  of  his  providence. 
 
 April  16.  Still  in  the  depths  of  distress.  In  the  afternoon, 
 preached  to  my  people  ;  but  was  more  discoupaged  with  them 
 than  before  ;  feared  that  nothing  would  ever  be  done  for  them  to 
 any  happy  effect.  I  retired,  and  poured  out  my  soul  to  God  for 
 mercy;  but  wifhout  any  sensible  relief.  Soon  after  came  an 
 Irishman  and  a  Dutchman,  with  a  design,  as  they  said,  to  hear  me 
 preach  the  next  day;  but  none  can  tell  how  1  felt,  to  hear  their 
 profane  talk.  O  I  longed  that  some  dear  Christian  knew  my  dis- 
 tress. I  got  into  a  kind  of  hovel,  and  there  groaned  out  my  com- 
 plaint to  God;  and  withal  felt  more  sensible  gratitude  and  thank- 
 fulness to  God,  that  he  had  made  me  to  ditfer  from  these  men,  as 
 I  knew  through  si^race  he  had. 
 
 LonVs  cknj,  April  17.  "In  the  morning,  was  again  distressed 
 as  soon  as  I  awaked,  hearing  much  talk  about  the  world,  and  the 
 things  of  it.  I  perceived  that  the  men  were  in  some  measure 
 afraid  of  me;  and  I  discoursed  about  sanctifying  the  Sabbath,  if 
 possible  to  solemnize  their  minds  ;  but  when  they  were  at  a  httle 
 distance,  they  again  talked  tVeely  about  secular  atfairs.  O  1 
 thought  what  a  hell  it  would  be,  to  live  with  such  men  to  eterni- 
 ty !  The  Lord  gave  me  some  assistance  in  preaching,  all  day,  and 
 some  resignation,  and  a  small  degree  of  comfort  in  prayer,  at 
 night." 
 
 Fie  continued  in  this  disconsolate  frame  the  next  d 
 
 ay. 
 
 April  19.  "In  the  morning,  I  enjoyed  some  sweet  repose  and 
 rest  in  God;  felt  some  strength  and  confidence  in  him;  and 
 my  soul  was  in  some  measure  refreshed  and  comforted.  Spent 
 most  of  the  day  in  writing,  and  had  some  exercise  of  grace,  sen>* 
 sible  and  comfortable.  My  soul  seemed  lifted  above  the  deep  zua- 
 ters,  wherein  it  has  been  so  long  almost  drowned  ;  felt  some  spir- 
 itual longings  and  breathings  of  sou!  after  God  ;  and  found  my- 
 self engaged  for  the  advancemeat  of  Christ's  kingdom  in  my  own 
 soul. 
 
 April  20.  "  Set  apart  this  day  for  fasting  and  prayer,  to  bow 
 my  soul  before  God  for  the  bestovvment  of  divine  grace  ;  espe- 
 cially that  all  my  spiritual  afflictions,  and  inward  distresses,  might 
 be  sanctified  to  my  soul.  And  endeavoured  also  to  remember 
 the  goodness  of  God  to  me  the  year  past,  this  day  being  my  birth 
 day.  Having  obtained  help  of  God,  1  have  hitherto  lived,  and 
 am  now  arrived  at  the  age  of  twenty -five  years.  My  soul  was 
 pained  to  think  of  my  barrenness  and  deadness;  that  I  have  lived 
 so  little  to  the  glorv  of  the  eternal  God.     I  spen-;  the  day  m  fhe 
 
 IS 
 
08  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD, 
 
 woods  alone,  and  there  poured  out  my  complaint  to  God.  Oh 
 that  God  would  enahle  me  to  live  to  his  glory  for  the  future  ! 
 
 J]pril '21,  "Spent  the  forenoon  in  reading  and  prayer,  and 
 found  myself  eni^a^ed  ;  but  still  much  depressed  in  spirit  under 
 a  sense  of  my  vileness.  and  unfitness  for  any  public  service.  In 
 the  afternoon,  I  visited  my  people,  and  prayed  and  conversed  with 
 some  about  their  souls  concerns  :  and  afterwards  found  some  ar- 
 dor of  soul  in  secret  prayer.  Oh  that  I  might  grow  up  into  the 
 likeness!  of  God! 
 
 April  22.  "Spent  the  day  in  study,  reading,  and  prayer;  and 
 felt  a  little  relieved  of  my  burden,  that  has  been  so  heavy  of  late. 
 But  still  was  in  some  measure  oppressed  ;  and  had  a  sense  of  bar- 
 renness. O  my  leanness  testifies  against  me !  my  very  soul  ab- 
 hors itself  for  its  unlikeness  to  God,  its  inactivity  and  sluggishness. 
 ^Vhen  I  have  done  all,  alas,  what  an  unprofitable  servant  am  I! 
 I\ly  soul  ij;roans  to  see  the  hours  of  the  day  roll  away,  because  I 
 do  not  fill  them,  in  spirituality  and  heavenly-mindedness.  And 
 yet  I  long  that  they  should  speed  their  pace,  to  hasten  me  to  my 
 eternal  home,  where  f  may  fill  up  all  my  moments,  through  eter- 
 nity, for  God  and  his  glory." 
 
 On  Saturday  and  Lord'^s  day,  his  melancholy  again  prevailed  j 
 he  complained  of  his  ignorance,  stupidity,  and  senselessness; 
 while  yet  beseems  to  have  spent  the  time  with  the  utmost  dili- 
 gence, in  study,  in  prayer,  in  instructincj  and  counselling  the  In- 
 dians. On  Monday,  he  sunk  into  the  deepest  melancholy ;  so 
 that  he  supposed  he  never  spent  a  day  in  such  distress  in  his  life; 
 not  in  fears  of  hell,. (which,  he  says,  he  had  no  pressing  fear  of) 
 but  a  distressing  sense  of  his  own  vileness,  &c.  On  Tuesday, 
 he  expresses  some  relief.  Wednesday,  he  kept  as  a  day  of  fast- 
 ing and  prayer,  but  in  great  distress.  The  three  days  next  follow- 
 ing, his  melancholy  continued,  but  in  a  less  degree,  and  with  in- 
 tervals of  cuuifort.  On  the  last  of  these  days,  he  wrote  the  fol- 
 lowing letter  to  his  brother  John,  then  a  student  at  Yale  College, 
 New- Haven, 
 
 Kaunaumeek,  April  30,  1 743, 
 
 DEAR  BROTHER, 
 
 I  should  tell  you,  "!  long  to  see  you,"  but  my  own  expe- 
 rience has  tauglit  me,  t'lat  there  is  no  happiness,  and  plenary  sat- 
 ipfaction  to  he  enjoyed  in  earthly  friends^  though  ever  so  near 
 and  dear,  or  in  any  other  enjoyment,  that  is  not  God  himself. 
 Thrreiore.  if  the  God  of  all  grace  be  pleased  graciously  to 
 affor.i  11-  each  his  presence  and  grace,  that  we  may  perform  the 
 work,  and  endure  tlie  trials  he   calls  us  to,  in  a  most  distressing 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  99 
 
 tiresome  wilderness,  till  we  arrive  at  our  journey's  end*,  the  lo- 
 cal distance,  at  which  we  are  held   from  each   other  at   present 
 is  a  matter  of  no  great   moment   or   importance  to  either  of  u.s. 
 But  alas  !  the  presence  of  God  is  what  I  want.     I   live   in   the 
 most  lonely  melancholy  desart,  about  eighteen  miles  from  Alba- 
 ny ;  for  it  was  not  thought  best  that  I  should  go  to  Delaware  Riv- 
 er, as  I  believe  I  hinted    to  you  in  a   letter  from  New-York.     I 
 board  with  a  poor  Scotchman  :  his  wife  can  talk  scarce  any  Eng- 
 lish.    J\I(/  diet  consists  mostly  of  hasty-pudding,  boiled  corn,  and 
 bread  baked  in  the  ashes,  and  sometimes  a  little  meat  and  butter. 
 My  lodging  is  a  little  heap   of  straw,  laid  upon  some   boards,  a 
 little  way  from  the   ground;  for  it  is  a  log  room,  without  any 
 floor,  that  I  lodge  in.     My  work  is  exceedingly  hard  and  difficult: 
 I  travel  on  foot  a  mile  and  a  half,  the  worst  of  ways,  almost  dai- 
 ly, and  back  again;  fori  live  so  far  from  my  Indians.     I  have  not 
 seen  an  English  person  this  month.     These,  and  many  other  cir- 
 cumstances, equally  uncomfortable,  attend  me;  and  yet  my  spiritu- 
 al conflicts  and  distresses,  so  far  exceed  all  these,  that  I  scar(;e  think 
 of  them,  or  hardly  observe  that  I  am  not  entertained  in  the  most 
 sumptuous  manner.     The  Lord  grant  that  I   may  learn  to  "  en- 
 dure hardness,  as  a  good  soldier  of  Jesus  Christ!"  As  to  my  suc- 
 cess here,  i  cannot  say  much  as  yet.     The  Indians  seem  general- 
 ly kind,  and  well  disposed  towards  me,  are  mostly  very  attentive 
 to  my  instructions,  and  seem  willing  to  be  taught  further.      Two 
 or  three,  I  hope,  are  under  some  convictions;  but  there  seems  to 
 be  little  of  the  special  workings  of  the  divine  Spirit  among  them 
 yet;  which  gives  me   many  a  heart-sinking  hour.     Sometimes  I 
 hope  that  God  has  abundant  blessings  in  store  for  them  and  me  ; 
 but  at  other  times  I  am  so  overwhelmed  with  distress,  that  1  can- 
 not see  how  his  dealings  with  me   are  consistent  with  covenant 
 love  and  faithfulness:    and  I   say,  "Surely  his  tender   mercies 
 are  clean  gone  forever."     But  however,   I  see  that  I  needed  all 
 X\\\?,  chastisement  diWe'ddy '.  "It  is  good   for  me,"  thail  have  en- 
 dured these  trials,  and  have  hitherto  little  or  no   apjiarent  suc- 
 cess.    Do  not  be  discouraged  by  my  distresses.     I   was   under 
 great  distress,  at  Mr.  Pomroy's,  when  I  saw  you  last ;  but  '*  God 
 has  been  with  me  of  a  truth,"  since  that:  he  helped  me  sometimes 
 sweetly  at  Long-Island,  and  elsewhere.     But  let  us  alwavs   re- 
 membet,  that  we  must  through  much  tribulation,  enter  into  God's 
 eternal  kingdom  of  rest  and  peace.     The  righteous  are  scarcely 
 saved  :  it  is  an  infinite  wonder  that  we  have  well  grounded  hopes 
 of  being  saved  at  all.     For  my  part,  I  feel   the  most  vile  of  any 
 creature  living;  and  I  am  sure  sometimes,  there  is  not  such  ano- 
 ther existing  on  this  side  hell.     Now  all  you  can  do  for  me,  is,  to 
 
iuu  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAiNERD. 
 
 pray  incessantly,  tliat  God  would  make  me  humble,  holy,  resign- 
 ed, and  heavenly  minded,  by  all  my  trials.  "  Be  strong  in  the 
 Lord,  and  in  the  power  of  his  might."  Let  us  rw/i,  wrestle^  and 
 fght^  that  we  may  win  {heprize^  and  obtain  that  complete  happi- 
 ness, to  be  "  holy,  as  God  is  holy."  So  wishing  and  praying  that 
 you  may  advance  in  learning  and  grace,  and  be  fit  for  special  ser- 
 vice for  God,  I  remain  your  atfectionate  brother, 
 
 DAVID  BRAINERD. 
 
 Lnr(Ps  day^  May  1.  "Was  at  Stockbridge  to-day.  In  the 
 forenoon,  had  some  relief  and  assistance;  though  not  so  much 
 as  usual.  In  the  afternoon,  felt  poorly  in  body  and  soul  ;  while 
 I  was  preaching,  seemed  to  be  rehearsing  idle  tales,  without  the 
 least  life,  fervour,  sense,  or  comfort ;  and  especially  afterwards 
 at  the  sacrament,  my  soul  was  filled  with  confusion,  and  the  ut- 
 most anguish  that  ever  I  endured,  under  the  feeling  of  my  inex- 
 pressible vileness  and  meanness.  It  was  a  most  bitter  and  dis- 
 tressing season  to  me,  by  reason  of  the  view  I  had  of  my  own 
 heart,  and  the  secret  abominations  that  lurk  there:  I  thought  that 
 the  eyes  of  all  in  the  house  were  upon  me,  and  I  dared  not  look 
 any  one  in  the  face  ;  for  it  verily  seemed  as  if  they  saw  the  vile- 
 ness of  my  heart,  and  all  the  sins  I  had  ever  been  guilty  of.  And 
 if  I  had  been  banished  from  the  presence  of  all  mankind,  never 
 to  be  seen  any  more,  or  so  much  as  thought  of,  still  I  should 
 have  been  distressed  with  shame  ;  and  I  should  have  been  asham- 
 ed to  see  the  most  barbarous  people  on  earth,  because  I  was  vi- 
 ler, and  seemingly  more  brutishly  ignorant  than  they.  "J  am 
 made  to  possess  the  sins  of  my  youth." 
 
 The  remaining  days  of  this  week  were  spent,  for  the  most  part, 
 in  inward  distress  and  gloominess.  The  next  Sabbath,  he  had 
 encouragement,  assistance,  and  comfort;  but  on  Monday  sunk 
 again. 
 
 May  10.  "  Was  in  the  same  state,  as  to  my  mind,  that  I  have 
 been  in  for  some  time  ;  extremely  oppressed  with  a  sense  of 
 guilt,  pollution,  and  blindness:  "The  iniquity  of  my  heels  hath 
 compassed  me  about:  the  sins  of  my  youth  have  been  set  in  or- 
 der before  me;  they  have  gone  over  my  head,  as  an  heavy  bur- 
 den, too  heavy  for  me  to  bear."  Almost  all  the  actions  of  my 
 life  past,  seem  to  be  covered  over  with  sin  and  guilt;  and  those 
 of  them  that  I  performed  in  the  most  conscientious  manner,  now 
 fill  me  with  shame  and  confusion,  that  I  cannot  hold  up  my  face. 
 O,  the  piidc,  selfishness,  hypocrisy,  ignorance,  bitterness^  party  zeal, 
 and  the  icant  of  love,  candour^  meekness,  and  ge)ithness,  that  have 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  ERAINERD.  10\ 
 
 attended  my  attempts  to  promote  religion  and  virtue ;  and  tliis 
 when  I  have  reason  to  hope  I  had  real  assistance  from  above,  and 
 some  sweet  intercourse  with  heaven  !  But  alas,  what  corrupt 
 mixtures  attended  my  best  duties!" 
 
 The  next  seven  dai/s^  his  gloom  and  distress  continued  for  the 
 most  part,  but  he  had  some  turns  of  relief  and  spiritual  comfort. 
 He  gives  an  account  of  his  spending  part  of  this  time  in  hard  la- 
 bour, to  build  himself  a  little  cottage  to  live  in  amongst  the  Indi- 
 ans, in  which  he  might  be  by  himself;  having,  it  seems,  hitherto 
 lived  with  a  poor  Scotchman,  as  he  observes  in  the  letter  just 
 now  given  ;  and  afterwards,  before  his  own  house  was  habi- 
 table, he  lived  in  a  wigwam  among  the  Indians." 
 
 May  18.  ''My  circumstances  are  such,  that  I  have  no  com- 
 fort of  any  kind,  but  what  I  have  in  God.  I  live  in  the  most 
 lonesome  wilderness ;  have  but  one  single  person  to  converse 
 with  that  can  speak  English."^  Most  of  the  talk  1  hear,  is  either 
 Highland  Scotch,  or  Indian.  I  have  no  fellow-christian  to  whom 
 I  may  unbosom  myself,  or  lay  open  my  spiritual  sorrows;  with 
 whom  I  may  take  sweet  counsel  in  conversation  about  heavenly 
 things,  and  join  in  social  prayer.  1  live  poorly  with  regard  to  the 
 comforts  of  life:  most  of  my  diet  consists  of  boiled  corn,  hasty- 
 pudding,  &ic.  I  lodge  on  a  bundle  of  straw,  my  labour  is  hard 
 and  extremely  difficult,  and  I  have  little  appearance  of  success,  to 
 comfort  me.  The  Indians  have  no  land  to  live  on,  but  what  the 
 Dutch  people  lay  claim  to;  and  these  threaten  to  drive  them  off. 
 They  have  no  regard  to  the  souls  of  the  poor  Indians ;  and  by 
 what  I  can  learn,  they  hate  me  because  I  come  to  preach  to  them. 
 But  that  which  makes  all  my  difficulties  grievous  to  be  borne,  is, 
 that  God  hides  his  face  from  me. 
 
 May  19.  "  Spent  most  of  this  day  in  close  study:  but  was 
 sometimes  so  distressed  that  I  could  think  of  nothing  but  my 
 spiritual  blindness,  ignorance,  pride,  and  misery.  O  I  have  rea- 
 son to  make  that  prayer,  "  Lord,  forgive  my  sins  of  youth,  and 
 former  trespasses." 
 
 May  20.  "  Was  much  perplexed  some  part  of  the  day;  but 
 towards  night,  had  some  comfortable  meditations  on  Is.  xl.  1. 
 Comfort  ye,  comfort  ye,    ^c.  and    enjoyed     some    sweetness  in 
 
 *  This  person  was  Brainerd's  interpreter,  an  ingenious  youn;^  Intlian,  belong-- 
 ing  to  Stockbridge,  whose  name  was  Jolin  JVauivaumpeqmmnauuf.  He  had  been 
 instructed  in  the  Christian  religion, by  Mr.  Sergeant;  had  lived  with  the  Hev.  Mr. 
 Williams,  of  Long-Meadow ;  had  been  furtiier  instructed  by  him,  at  the  charge  ol 
 Mr.  HoUis  of  Loi.don  ;  and  undersfoxl  both  Faiglish  and  lu'lian  very  well,  and 
 wrote  a  good  hand. 
 
102  MEMOIRS  OJ^'  BRAINERD. 
 
 prayer.  Afterwards,  my  soul  rose  so  far  above  the  deep  tvaters^ 
 that  I  dared  to  rejoice  in  God.  I  saw  that  there  was  sufficient 
 matter  of  consolation  in  the  blessed  God." 
 
 The  next  nine  days,  his  burdens  were  for  the  most  part  alle- 
 viated, but  with  variety;  at  some  times, having  considerable  conso- 
 lation ;  and  at  others,  being  more  depressed.  The  next  rhy,  Mon- 
 day, May  30,  he  set  out  on  a  journey  to  New-Jersey,  to  consult  the 
 commissioners  who  employed  him  about  the  affairs  of  his  mis- 
 sion.* He  performed  his  journey  thither  in  four  days ;  arid  ar- 
 rived at  Mr.  Burr's  in  Newark  on  Thursday.  In  great  part  of 
 his  journey,  he  was  in  the  depths  of  melancholy,  under  distresses 
 like  those  already  mentioned.  On  Friday,  he  rode  to  Elizabeth- 
 Town  :  and  on  Saturday  to  New-York  ;  and  from  thence  on  his 
 way  homewards  as  far  as  White-Plains.  There  he  spent  the 
 Sabbath,  and  had  considerable  degrees  of  divine  consolation  and 
 assistance  in  public  services.  On  Monday,  he  rode  about  sixty 
 miles  to  New-Haven.  There  he  attempted  a  reconciliation  with 
 the  Faculty  of  the  college;  and  spent  this  week  in  visiting  his 
 friends  in  those  parts,  and  in  his  journey  homewards,  till  Saturday, 
 in  a  pretty  comfortable  frame  of  mind.  On  Saturday,  in  his  way 
 from  Stockbridge  to  Kaunaumeek,  he  was  lost  in  the  woods,  and 
 lay  all  night  in  the  open  air;  but  happily  found  his  way  in  the 
 morning,  and  came  to  his  Indians  on  Lord's  day,  June  12,  and 
 had  greater  assistance  in  preaching  among  them  than  ever  before, 
 since  his  first  coming  among  them. 
 
 From  this  time  forward  he  was  the  subject  of  various  frames 
 and  exercises  of  mind:  in  the  general,  much  after  the  same  man- 
 ner as  hitherto,  from  his  first  coming  to  Kaunaumeek  till  he  got 
 into  his  own  house,  (a  little  hut,  which  he  made  chiefly  with  his 
 own  hands,  by  long  and  hard  labour,)  which  was  near  seven  iveeks 
 from  this  time.  The  great  part  of  this  time,  he  was  dejected, 
 and  depressed  with  melancholy;  sometimes  extremely;  his 
 melancholy  operating  in  like  manner,  as  related  in  times  past. 
 How  it  was  with  him  in  those  dark  seasons,  he  himself  further 
 describes  in  his  diary  for  July  2,  in  the  following  manner.  *'  My 
 soul  is,  and  has  for  a  long  time  been  in  a  piteous  condition,  wad- 
 ing through  a  series  of  sorrows,  of  various  kinds.  I  have  been  so 
 crushed  down  sometimes  with  a  sense  of  my  meanness  and  infi- 
 nite unworthiness,  that  I  have  been  asliamed  that  any,  even  the 
 meanest   of   my  fellow-creatures,  should   so    much   as   spend    a 
 
 *His  business  with  the  commissioners  now  was,  to  obtain  orders  from  them  to  set 
 up  a  school  among  the  Indians  at  Kaunaumeek,  and  that  his  interpreter  might  be 
 appointed  the  schoolmaster ;  which  was  accordingly  done. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  103 
 
 thought  about  me ;  and  have  wished  sometimes,  while  travelling 
 amon^  the  thick  brakes,  to  drop,  as  one  of  them,  into  everlasting 
 oblivion.  In  this  case,  sometimes,  I  have  almost  resolved  never 
 again  to  see  any  of  my  acquaintance :  and  really  thought,  I  could 
 not  do  it  and  hold  up  my  face;  and  have  longed  for  the  remotest 
 region,  for  a  retreat  from  all  my  friends,  that  I  might  not  be  seen 
 or  heard  of  any  more.  Sometimes  the  consideration  of  my  ignO' 
 ranee  has  been  a  means  of  my  great  distress  and  anxiety.  And 
 especially  my  soul  has  been  in  anguish  with  fear,  shame,  and 
 guilt,  that  ever  I  had  preached,  or  had  any  thought  that  way. — - 
 Sometimes  my  soul  has  been  in  distress  on  feeling  some  particular 
 corruptions  rise  and  swell  like  a  mighty  torrent,  with  present  vio- 
 lence ;  having,  at  the  same  time,  ten  thousand  former  sins  and  fol- 
 lies presented  to  view,  in  all  their  blackness  and  aggravations. — 
 And  these,  while  destitute  of  most  of  the  conveniences  of  life, 
 and  I  may  say,  of  all  the  pleasures  of  it;  without  a  friend  to  com- 
 municate any  of  my  sorrows  to,  and  sometimes  without  any  place 
 of  retirement,  where  1  may  unburden  my  soul  before  God,  which 
 has  greatly  contributed  to  my  distress. — Of  late,  more  especially, 
 my  great  difficulty  has  been  a  sort  of  carelessness,  a  kind  of  re- 
 gardless temper  of  mind,  whence  I  have  been  disposed  to  indo- 
 lence and  trifling:  and  this  temper  of  mind  has  constantly  been 
 attended  with  guilt  and  shame ;  so  that  sometimes  I  have  been  in 
 a  kind  of  horror,  to  find  myself  so  unlike  the  blessed  God.  I  have 
 thought  I  grew  worse  under  all  my  trials;  and  nothing  has  cut 
 and  wounded  my  soul  more  than  this.  O,  if  I  am  one  of  God's 
 chosen,  as  I  trust  through  infinite  grace  I  am,  I  find  of  a  truth,  that 
 the  righteous  are  scarcdy    aved  " 
 
 It  is  apparen',  that  one  main  occasion  of  that  distressing  gloom- 
 iness of  mind  which  he  was  so  much  exercised  with  at  Kaunau- 
 meek,  was  reflection  on  his  past  errors  and  misguided  zeal  at  col- 
 lege, in  (he  beginning  of  the  late  religious  commotions.  And 
 therefore  he  repeated  his  endeavours  this  year  for  reconciliation 
 with  the  governors  of  the  college,  whom  he  had  at  that  time  of- 
 fended. Although  he  had  been  at  New- Haven,  in  June,  this 
 year,  and  attempted  a  reconciliation,  as  mentioned  already;  yet, 
 in  the  beginninj];  of  July,  he  made  another  journey  thither,  and 
 renewed  his  attempt,  but  still  in  vain. 
 
 Although  he  was  much  de  ected,  most  of  the  time  of  which  I 
 am  now  speaking ;  yet  he  had  majiy  intermissions  of  his  melan- 
 choly, and  some  seasons  of  comfort,  sweet  tranquillity  and  resig- 
 nation of  mind,  and  frequent  special  assistance  in  public  services, 
 as  appear  in  his  diary.  The  manner  of  his  relief  from  his  sorrow, 
 once  in  particular,  is  worthy  to  be   mentioned  in  his  own   words. 
 
104  xMEMOlRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 "  July  23.  Had  little  or  no  resolution  for  a  life  of  holiness  ;  was 
 ready  almost  to  renounce  my  hopes  of  living  to  God.  And  O 
 how  dark  it  looked,  to  think  of  heing  unholy  for  ever !  This  I 
 could  not  endure.  The  cry  of  my  soul  was,  Psal.  Ixv.  3.  Iniqui- 
 ties prevail  against  me.  But  1  was  in  some  measure  relieved  by 
 a  comfortable  meditation  on  God's  eternity,  that  he  never  had  a 
 beginning.  Whence  I  was  led  to  admire  his  greatness  and  power, 
 in  such  a  manner,  that  I  stood  still,  and  praised  the  Lord  for  his 
 own  glories  and  perfections  ;  though  I  was  (and  if  I  should  for 
 ever  be)  an  unholy  creature,  my  soul  was  comforted  to  apprehend 
 an  eternal,  infinite,  powerful,  holy  God." 
 
 July  30.  "  Just  at  night,  moved  into  my  own  Jiouse,  and  lodg- 
 ed there  that  night ;  found  it  much  better  spending  the  time  alone 
 than  in  the  wigwam  where  I  was  before. 
 
 LortTs  day  July  31.  "  Felt  more  comfortably  than  some  days 
 past. — Blessed  be  the  Lord,  who  has  now  given  me  a  place  of  re- 
 tirement.— Oh  that  I  may  find  God  in  it,  and  that  he  would 
 dwell  with  me  for  ever ! 
 
 Axhg.  L  "  Was  still  busy  in  further  labours  on  my  house. — 
 Felt  a  little  of  the  sweetness  of  religion,  and  thought  that  it  was 
 worth  while  to  follow  after  God  throui^h  a  thousand  snares,  des- 
 arls,  and  death  itself.  Oh  that  I  might  always  follow  after  holi- 
 ness^ that  I  may  be  fully  conformed  to  God  !  Had  some  degree 
 of  sweetness  in  secret  prayer,  though  I  had  much  sorrow. 
 
 Aug.  2.  "  Was  still  labouring  to  make  myself  more  comforta- 
 ble, with  regard  to  my  house  and  lodging.  Laboured  under  spir- 
 itual anxiety  :  It  seemed  to  me  that  I  deserved  to  be  thrust  out  of 
 the  world;  yet  found  some  comfort  in  committing  my  cause  to 
 God.  It  is  good  for  me  to  be  afflicted,  that  I  may  die  wholly  to 
 this  world,  and  all  that  is  in  it. 
 
 Aug.  3.  '•  Spent  most  of  the  day  in  writing.  Enjoyed  some 
 sense  of  religion.  Through  divine  goodness  I  am  now  uninter- 
 ruptedly alone;  and  find  my  retirement  comfortable.  I  have  en- 
 joyed more  sense  of  divine  things  within  a  few  days  last  past,  than 
 for  some  time  before.  I  longed  after  holiness,  humility,  and 
 meekness  :  Oh  that  God  would  enable  me  to  "  pass  the  time  of 
 my  sojourning  here  in  his  fear,"  and  always  live  to  him! 
 
 Aug.  4.  "  ^Vas  enabled  to  pray  much,  through  the  whole 
 day;  and  through  divine  goodness  found  some  intenseness  of  soul 
 in  the  duty,  as  I  used  to  do,  and  some  ability  to  persevere  in  my 
 supplications.  J  had  some  apprehensions  of  divine  things,  which 
 aflibrded  me  courage  and  resolution.  It  is  good,  I  find,  to  perse- 
 vere in  attempts  to  pray,  if  I  cannot  ^^ray  with  perseverance,  i.   e 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  105 
 
 continue  long  in  my  addresses  to  the  divine  Being.  I  have  gen- 
 erally found,  that  the  more  I  do  in  secret  prayer,  the  more  I  have 
 delighted  to  do,  and  have  enjoyed  more  of  a  spirit  of  prayer  :  and 
 frequently  have  found  the  contrary,  when  with  journeying  or  oth- 
 erwise I  have  been  much  deprived  of  retirement.  A  seasonable, 
 steady  performance  of  secret  duties  in  their  proper  hours, 
 and  a  careful  improvement  of  all  time,  filling  up  every  hour 
 with  some  profitable  labour,  either  of  heart,  head,  or  hands,  are 
 excellent  means  of  spiritual  peace  and  boldness  before  God. — 
 Christ,  indeed,  is  our  peace,  and  by  him  we  have  boldness  of  ac- 
 cess to  God;  but  a  good  conscience,  void  of  offence,  is  an  excel- 
 lent preparation  for  an  approach  into  the  divine  presence.  There 
 is  a  difference  between  self-confidence  or  a  self-righteous  pleasing 
 of  ourselves — as  with  our  own  duties,  attainments,  and  spiritual 
 enjoyments — of  which  good  men  are  sometimes  guilty,  and  that 
 holy  confidence  arising  from  the  testimony  of  a  good  conscience, 
 which  good  Hezekiah  had,  when  he  says,  *'  Remember,  O  Lord, 
 I  beseech  thee,  how  I  have  walked  before  thee  in  truth,  and  with 
 a  perfect  heart."  Then,  says  the  holy  psalmist,  shall  I  not  be 
 ashamed  when  I  have  respect  to  all  thy  commandments.  Filling  up 
 our  time  with  and /or  God,  is  the  way  to  rise  up  and  lie  down  in 
 peace." 
 
 The  next  eight  days,  he  continued  for  the  most  part  in  a  very 
 comfortable  frame,  having  his  mind  fixed  and  sweetly  engaged  in 
 religion ;  and  more  than  once  blesses  God,  that  he  had  given  him 
 a  little  cottage,  where  he  might  live  alone,  and  enjoy  a  happy  re- 
 tirement, free  from  noise  and  disturbance,  and  could  at  any  hour 
 of  the  day  lay  aside  all  studies,  and  spend  time  in  lifting  up  his 
 soul  to  God  for  spiritual  blessings. 
 
 Aug.  13.  "  Was  enabled  in  secret  prayer  to  raise  my  soul  to 
 God,  with  desire  and  delight.  It  was  indeed  a  blessed  season.  I 
 found  the  comfort  of  being  a  christian;  and  counted  the  sufferings 
 of  the  present  Ife  not  worthy  to  be  compared  with  the  glory  of  di- 
 vine enjoyments  even  in  this  world.  All  my  past  sorrows  seemed 
 kindly  to  disappear,  and  I  "  remembered  no  more  the  sorrow,  for 
 joy."  — O,  how  kindly,  and  with  what  a  filial  tenderness,  the  soul 
 confides  in  the  Rock  of  ages,  at  such  a  season,  that  he  will  "  never 
 leave  it,  nor  forsake  it,"  that  he  will  cause  "all  things  to  work  to- 
 gether for  its  good !"  I  longed,  that  others  should  know  how 
 good  a  God  the  Lord  is.  My  soul  was  full  of  tenderness  and 
 love,  even  to  the  most  inveterate  of  my  enemies.  I  earnestly  de- 
 sired that  they  should  share  in  the  same   m^rcv ;  and  loved  that 
 
 J4 
 
106  MExMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 God  should  do  just  as  he  pleased  with  me  and  every  thing  else.  I 
 felt  pecuharly  serious,  calm,  and  peaceful,  and  encouraged  to 
 press  after  holiness  as  long  as  I  live,  whatever  difficulties  and  trials 
 may  be  in  my  way.  May  the  Lord  always  help  me  so  to  do  ! 
 Amen,  and  Amen. 
 
 Lordh  day,  Aug.  14.  "I  had  much  more  freedom  in  public, 
 than  in  private.  God  enabled  me  to  speak  with  some  feeling 
 sense  of  divine  things;  but  perceived  no  considerable  effect. 
 
 Jiug.  15.  "  Spent  most  of  the  day  in  labour,  to  procure  some- 
 thing to  keep  my  horse  on  in  the  winter.  Enjoyed  not  much 
 sweetness  in  the  morning  ;  was  very  weak  in  body  through  the 
 day;  and  thought  that  this  frail  body  would  soon  drop  into  the 
 dust ;  and  had  some  very  realizing  apprehensions  of  a  speedy  en- 
 trance into  another  world.  In  this  weak  state  of  body,  I  was  not 
 a  little  distressed  for  want  of  suitable  food.  I  had  no  bread,  nor 
 could  I  get  any.  lam  forced  to  go  or  send  ten  or  fifteen  miles 
 for  all  the  bread  I  «at ;  and  sometimes  it  is  mouldy  and  sour  be- 
 fore I  eat  it,  if  I  get  any  considerable  quantity.  And  then  again  I 
 have  none  for  some  days  together,  for  want  of  an  opportunity  to 
 send  for  it,  and  cannot  find  my  horse  in  the  woods  to  go  myself; 
 and  this  was  my  case  now;  but  through  divine  goodness  I  had 
 some  Indian  meal^  of  which  I  made  little  cakes,  and  fried  them. 
 Yet  I  felt  contented  with  my  circumstances,  and  sweetly  re- 
 signed to  God.  In  prayer  I  enjoyed  great  freedom  ;  and  blessed 
 God  as  much  for  my  present  circumstances,  as  if  I  had  been  a 
 king ;  and  thought  that  I  found  a  disposition  to  be  contented  in 
 any  circumstances.     Blessed  be  God.^^ 
 
 The  rest  of  this  week,  he  was  exceedingly  weak  in  body,  and 
 much  exercised  with  pain  ;  yet  obliged  from  day  to  day  to  labour 
 hard,  to  procure  fodder  for  his  horse.  Except  some  part  of  the 
 time,  he  was  so  very  ill,  that  he  was  neither  able  to  work  nor  stu- 
 dy ;  but  speaks  of  longings  after  holiness  and  perfect  conformity 
 to  God.  He  complains  of  enjoying  but  little  of  God  :  yet  he  says, 
 that  little  was  better  to  him,  than  all  the  world  besides.  In  his 
 diary  for  Saturday,  he  says,  he  was  somewhat  melancholy  and 
 sorrowful  in  mind ;  and  adds,  "  I  never  feel  comfortably,  but 
 when  1  find  my  soul  going  forth  after  God.  If  I  cannot  be  holy, 
 I  must  necessarily  be  miserable  for  ever." 
 
 Lord's  day,  Aug.  21.  "  Was  much  straitened  in  the  forenoon 
 exercise ;  my  thoughts  seemed  to  be  all  scattered  to  the  ends  of 
 the  earth.  At  noon,  I  fell  down  before  the  Lord,  groaned  under 
 mv  vileness.  barrenness,  and  deadness  ;  and  felt  as  if  I  was  guilty 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  107 
 
 of  soul-murder,  in  speaking  to  immortal  souls  in  such  a  manner  as 
 I  had  then  done.  In  the  afternoon,  God  was  pleased  to  give  me 
 some  assistance,  and  I  was  enabled  to  set  before  my  hearers  the 
 nature  and  necessity  of  true  repentance.  Afterwards,  had  some 
 small  degree  of  thankfulness.  Was  very  ill  and  full  of  pain  in  the 
 evening ;  and  my  soul  mourned  that  I  had  spent  so  much  time  to 
 so  little  profit. 
 
 Aug.  22.  "Spent  most  of  the  day  in  study;  and  found  my 
 bodily  strength  in  a  measure  restored.  Had  some  intense  and 
 passionate  breathings  of  soul  after  holiness,  and  very  clear  mani- 
 festations of  my  utter  inability  to  procure,  or  work  it  in  myself;  it 
 is  wholly  owing  to  the  power  of  God.  O,  with  what  tenderness 
 the  love  and  desire  of  hohness  fills  the  soul !  I  wanted  to  wing 
 out  of  myself  to  God,  or  rather  to  get  a  conformity  to  him :  but, 
 alas  !  I  cannot  add  to  my  stature  in  grace  one  cubit.  However, 
 my  soul  can  never  leave  striving  for  it ;  or  at  least  groaning,  that 
 it  cannot  strive  for  it,  and  obtain  more  purity  of  heart. — At  night, 
 I  spent  some  time  in  instructing  my  poor  people.  Oh  that  God 
 would  pity  their  souls  ! 
 
 Aug.  23.  "  Studied  in  the  forenoon,  and  enjoyed  some  free- 
 dom. In  the  afternoon,  laboured  abroad:  endavoured  to  pray: 
 but  found  not  much  sweetness  or  intenseness  of  mind.  Towards 
 night,  was  very  weary,  and  tired  of  this  world  of  sorrow :  the 
 thoughts  of  death  and  immortality  appeared  very  desirable,  and 
 even  refreshed  my  soul.  Those  lines  turned  in  my  mind  with 
 pleasure, 
 
 "  Come  death,  shake  hands  ;  Til  kiss  thy  bands  ; 
 ^  " 'Tis  happiness  for  me  to  die. — 
 
 "  What !— dost  thou  think,  that  I  will  shrink  ? 
 "  I'll  go  to  immortahty." 
 
 "  In  evening  prayer,  God  was  pleased  to  draw  near  my  soul, 
 though  very  sinful  and  unworthy;  so  that  I  was  enabled  to  wres- 
 tle with  God,  and  to  persevere  in  my  requests  for  grace.  I  pour- 
 ed out  my  soul  for  all  the  world,  friends,  and  enemies.  My  soul 
 was  concerned,  not  so  much  for  souls  as  such,  but  rather  for 
 Christ's  kingdom,  that  it  might  appear  in  the  world,  that  God 
 might  be  known  to  be  God,  in  the  whole  earth.  And  O  my  soul 
 abhorred  the  very  thought  of  a  party  in  religion  !  Let  the  truth  of 
 God  appear,  wherever  it  is ;  and  God  have  the  glory  for  ever. 
 Amen.  This  was  indeed  a  comfortable  season.  I  thought  I  had 
 some  small  taste  of,  and  real  relish  for  the  enjoyments  and  em- 
 ployments of  the  upper  world.  Oh  that  my  soul  was  more  attem- 
 pered to  it ! 
 
108  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 Aug,  24.  "  Spent  some  time,  in  the  morning,  in  study  and 
 prayer.  Afterwards,  was  engaged  in  some  necessary  business 
 abroad.  Towards  night,  found  a  little  time  for  some  particular 
 studies.  1  thought,  if  God  should  say,  "  Cease  making  any  pro- 
 vision for  this  life,  for  you  shall  in  a  few  days  go  out  of  time  into 
 eternity,"  my  soul  would  leap  for  joy.  Oh  that  I  may  both  "de- 
 sire to  be  dissolved,  to  be  with  Christ,"  and  likewise  "  wait  pa- 
 tiently all  the  days  of  my  appointed  time  till  my  change  come !" 
 But,  alas !  I  am  very  unfit  for  the  business  and  blessedness  of 
 heaven.     Oh  for  more  holiness ! 
 
 Aug.  25.  "  Part  of  the  day,  was  engaged  in  studies  ;  and  part 
 in  labour  abroad.  I  find  it  is  impossible  to  enjoy  peace  and  tran- 
 quillity of  mind,  without  a  careful  improvement  of  time.  This  is 
 really  an  imitation  of  God  and  Christ  Jesus  :  "  My  Father  work- 
 eth  hitherto,  and  I  work,"  says  our  Lord.  But  still,  if  we  would 
 be  like  God,  we  must  see  that  we  fill  up  our  time  for  him.  I  daily 
 long  to  dwell  in  perfect  hght  and  love.  In  the  mean  time,  my 
 soul  mourns  that  I  make  so  little  progress  in  grace,  and  prepara- 
 tion for  the  world  of  blessedness;  I  see  and  know  that  I  am  a  very 
 barren  tree  in  God^s  vineyard,  and  that  he  might  justly  say,  "  Cut 
 it  down,"  &IC.  Oh  that  God  would  make  me  more  lively  and  vi- 
 gorous in  grace,  for  his  own  glory!  Amen." 
 
 The  two  next  days,  he  was  much  engaged  in  the  necessary  la- 
 bours, in  which  he  extremely  spent  himself.  He  seems  these 
 days  to  have  had  a  great  sense  of  the  vanity  of  the  world  ;  con- 
 tinued longings  after  holiness,  and  more  fervency  of  spirit  in  the 
 service  of  God. 
 
 Lordh  Day,  Aug.  28.  "  Was  much  perplexed  with  some  irre- 
 ligious Dutchmen.  All  their  discourse  turned  upon  the  things  of 
 the  world  ;  which  was  no  small  exercise  to  my  mind.  O  what  a 
 hell  it  would  be  to  spend  an  eternity  with  such  men  !  Well  might 
 David  say,  "  I  beheld  the  transgressors,  and  was  grieved."  But 
 adored  be  God,  heaven  is  a  place  into  which  no  unclean  thing  en- 
 ters. O  I  long  for  the  holiness  of  that  world!  Lord  prepare  me 
 for  it:'> 
 
 The  next  day  he  set  out  on  a  journey  to  New- York.  Was 
 somewhat  dejected  the  two  first  days  of  his  journey  ;  but  yet 
 seems  to  have  enjoyed  some  degrees  of  the  sensible  presence  of 
 God. 
 
 Aug,  31.  "  Rode  down  to  Bethlehem;  was  in  a  sweet,  seri- 
 ous, and,  1  hope,  christian  frame,  when  I  came  there.     Eternal 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  109 
 
 things  engrossed  all  my  thoughts ;  and  I  longed  to  be  in  the  world 
 of  spirits.  O  how  happy  is  it,  to  have  all  our  thoughts  swallowed 
 up  in  that  world  :  to  feel  one's  self  a  serious  considerate  stranger 
 in  this  world,  diligently  seeking  a  road  through  it,  the  best,  the 
 sure  road  to  the  heavenly  Jerusalem! 
 
 Sept,  1,  "Rode  to  Danbury.  Was  more  dull  and  dejected 
 in  spirit,  than  yesterday.  Indeed,  I  always  feel  comfortably, 
 when  God  realizes  death,  and  the  things  of  another  world,  to  my 
 mind.  Whenever  my  mind  is  taken  off  from  the  things  of  this 
 world,  and  set  on  God,  my  soul  is  then  at  rest.^^ 
 
 He  went  forward  on  his  journey,  and  came  to  New- York  on 
 the  next  Monday,  And  after  tarrying  there  two  or  three  days,  he 
 set  out  from  that  city  towards  New-Haven,  intending  to  be  there 
 at  the  commencement ;  and  on  Friday  came  to  Horse-Neck.  In 
 the  mean  time,  he  complains  much  of  dulness,  and  want  of  fer- 
 vour in  religion ;  but  yet,  from  time  to  time,  speaks  of  his  enjoy- 
 ing spiritual  warmth  and  sweetness  in  conversation  with  christian 
 friends,  and  assistance  in  public  services. 
 
 Sept,  10.  "  Rode  six  miles  to  Stanwich,  and  preached  to  a 
 considerable  assembly  of  people.  Had  some  assistance  and  free- 
 dom, especially  towards  the  close.  Endeavoured  much  after- 
 wards, in  private  conversation,  to  establish  holiness,  humility, 
 meekness,  &;c.  as  the  essence  of  true  religion ;  and  to  moderate 
 some  noisy  sort  of  persons,  who  appeared  to  me  to  be  actuated 
 by  unseen  spiritual  pride.  Alas,  into  what  extremes  men  incline 
 to  run ! — Returned  to  Horse-Neck;  and  felt  some  seriousness  and 
 sweet  solemnity  in  the  evening. 
 
 Lord^s  day,  Sept,  11.  "In  the  afternoon,  I  preached  from  Tit. 
 iii.  8.  This  is  a  faithful  saying,  and  these  things,  <f^c.  I  think  God 
 never  helped  me  more  in  painting  true  religion,  and  in  detecting 
 clearly,  and  tenderly  discountenancing  false  appearances  of  reli- 
 gion, wild-fire,  party  zeal,  spiritual  pride,  &:c.  as  well  as  a  confi- 
 dent dogmatical  spirit,  and  its  spring,  viz.  ignorance  of  the  heart. 
 In  the  evening,  took  much  pains  in  private  conversation  to  sup- 
 press some  confusions,  which  I  perceived  were  among  that  peo- 
 ple. 
 
 Sept,  12.  "Rode  to  Mr.  Mills' at  Ripton.  Had  some  per- 
 plexing hours ;  but  was  some  part  of  the  day  very  comfortable. 
 It  is  "  through  great  trials,"  I  see,  "  that  we  must  enter  the  gates 
 of  paradise."  If  my  soul  could  but  be  holy,  that  God  might  not 
 be  dishonoured,  methinks  I  could  bear  sorrows. 
 
 Sept,  13.  "  Rode  to  New-Haven.  Was  sometimes  dejected  ; 
 not  in  the  sweetest  frame.     Lodged  at  ^^**,     Had  some  profita- 
 
no  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 ble  christian  conversation.  I  find,  though  my  inward  trials  were 
 great,  and  a  hfe  of  solitude  gives  them  greater  advantage  to  settle, 
 and  penetrate  to  the  very  inmost  recesses  of  the  soul ;  yet  it  is  bet- 
 ter to  be  alone,  than  incumbered  with  noise  and  tumult,  I  find  it 
 very  difficult  maintaining  any  sense  of  divine  things,  while  remov- 
 ing from  place  to  place,  diverted  with  new  objects,  and  filled  with 
 care  and  business.  A  settled  steady  business  is  best  adapted  to 
 a  life  of  strict  religion. 
 
 Sept.  14.  "  This  day  I  ought  to  have  taken  my  degree  ^^  but 
 God  sees  fit  to  deny  it  me.  And  though  I  was  greatly  afraid  of 
 being  overwhelmed  with  perplexity  and  confusion,  when  I  should 
 see  my  class-mates  take  theirs;  yet,  at  the  very  time,  God  ena- 
 bled me  with  calmness  and  resignation  to  say,  "  the  will  of  the 
 Lord  be  done."  Indeed,  through  divine  goodness,  I  have  scarce- 
 ly felt  my  mind  so  calm,  sedate,  and  comfortable  for  some  time. 
 I  have  long  feared  this  season,  and  expected  my  humility,  meek- 
 ness, patience  and  resignation  would  be  much  tried  ;t  but  found 
 much  more  pleasure  and  divine  comfort,  than  I  expected.  Felt 
 spiritually  serious,  tender  and  affectionate  in  private  prayer  with 
 a  dear  christian  friend  to-day. 
 
 Sept,  15.  "Had  some  satisfaction  in  hearing  the  ministers 
 discourse.  It  is  always  a  comfort  to  me,  to  hear  religious  and 
 spiritual  conversation.  Oh  that  ministers  and  people  were  more 
 spiritual  and  devoted  to  God ! — Towards  night,  with  the  advice 
 of  christian  friends,  I  offered  the  following  reflections  in  writing, 
 to  the  rector  and  trustees  of  the  college — which  are  for  substance 
 the  same  that  I  had  freely  offered  to  the  rector  before,  and  in- 
 treated  him  to  accept — that  if  possible  I  might  cut  off  all  occasion 
 of  offence,  from  those  who  seek  occasion.  What  I  offered,  is  as 
 follows : 
 
 "  Whereas  I  have  said  before  several  persons,  concerning  Mr. 
 Whittelsey,  one  of  the  tutors  of  Yale  College,  that  I  did  not  be- 
 lieve he  had  any  more  grace  than  the  chair  I  then  leaned  upon  ; 
 I  humbly  confess,  that  herein  I  have  sinned  against  God,  and  act- 
 ed contrary  to  the  rules  of  his  word,  and  have  injured  Mr.  Whit- 
 telsey. 1  had  no  right  to  make  thus  free  with  his  character  ;  and 
 had  no  just  reason  to  say  as  I  did  concerning  him.  My  fault  here- 
 in was  the  more  aggravated,  in  that  I  said  this  concerning  one 
 who  was  so  much  my  superiour,  and  one  whom  I  was  obliged  to 
 
 *  This  being  commencement-day. 
 
 +  His  trial  was  the  greater,  in  that,  had  it  not  been  for  the  displeasure  of  the  gov- 
 ernors of  the  College,  he  would  not  only  on  that  day  have  shared  with  his  class- 
 mates in  the  public  honours  which  they  then  received,  but  would  on  that  occasion 
 have  appeared  at  the  headoi  that  class ;  which,  if  he  had  been  with  them,  would 
 have  been  the  most  numerous  of  any  that  ever  had  been  graduated  at  that  College. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  Ill 
 
 treat  with  special  respect  and  honour,  by  reason  of  the  relation 
 I  stood  in  to  him  in  the  college.  Such  a  manner  of  behaviour,  I 
 confess  did  not  become  a  christian  ;  it  was  taking  too  much  upon 
 me,  and  did  not  savour  of  that  humble  respect,  which  1  ought  to 
 have  expressed  towards  Mr.  Whittelsey.  1  have  long  since  been 
 convinced  of  the  falseness  of  those  apprehensions,  by  which  1  then 
 justified  such  a  conduct.  1  have  often  reflected  on  this  act  with 
 grief;  I  hope,  on  account  of  the  sin  of  it :  and  am  willing  to  He 
 low,  and  be  abased  before  God  and  man  for  it.  I  humbly  ask 
 the  forgiveness  of  the  governors  of  the  college,  and  of  the  whole 
 society  ;  but  of  Mr.  Whittelsey  in  particular.  And  whereas  I 
 have  been  accused  by  one  person  of  saying  concerning  the  rever- 
 end rector  of  Yale  College,  that  I  wondered  he  did  not  expect  to 
 drop  down  dead  for  fining  the  scholars  that  followed  Mr.  Tennent 
 to  Milford  ;  1  seriously  profess,  that  I  do  not  remember  my  saying 
 any  thing  to  this  purpose.  But  if  I  did,  which  I  am  not  certain 
 I  did  not,  1  utterly  condemn  it,  and  detest  all  such  kind  of  beha- 
 viour ;  and  especially  in  an  under-graduate  towards  the  rector. 
 And  I  now  appear  to  judge  and  condemn  myself  for  going  once 
 to  the  separate  meeting  in  New-Haven,  a  little  before  I  was  ex- 
 pelled, though  the  rector  had  refused  to  give  me  leave.  For  this  I 
 humbly  ask  the  rector's  forgiveness.  And  whether  the  governors 
 of  the  college  shall  ever  see  cause  to  remove  the  academical  cen- 
 sure I  lie  under,  or  no,  or  to  admit  me  to  the  privileges  I  desire  ; 
 yet  I  am  willing  to  appear,  if  they  think  fit,  openly  to  own,  and  to 
 
 humble  myself  for  those  things  1  have  herein  confessed." 
 
 "  God  has  made  me  willing  to  do  any  thing,  that  1  can  do,  con- 
 sistent with  truth,  for  the  sake  of  peace,  and  that  I  might  not  be 
 a  stumbhng  block  to  others.  For  this  reason  I  can  cheerfully 
 forego,  and  give  up  what  1  verily  believe,  after  the  most  mature 
 and  impartial  search  is  my  right,  in  some  instances.  God  has 
 given  me  the  disposition,  that,  if  a  man  has  done  me  an  hundred 
 injuries,  and  I  (though  ever  so  much  provoked  to  it)  have  done 
 him  only  one,  I  feel  disposed,  and  heartily  willing  humbly  to 
 confess  my  fault  to  him,  and  on  my  knees  to  ask  forgiveness 
 of  him ;  though  at  the  same  time  he  should  justify  himself  in 
 all  the  injuries  he  has  done  me,  and  should  only  make  use  of  my 
 humble  confession  to  blacken  my  character  the  more,  and  repre- 
 sent me  as  the  only  person  guilty  ;  yea,  though  he  should  as  it  were 
 insult  me,  and  say,  "  he  knew  all  this  before,  and  that  I  was  ma- 
 king work  for  repentance."  Though  what  1  said  concerning  Mr. 
 Whittelsey  was  only  spoken  in  private,  to  a  friend  or  two  ;  and 
 being  partly  overheard,  was  related  to  the  rector,  and  by  him  ex- 
 torted from  my  friends ;  yet,  seeing  it  was  divulged  and  made 
 public,  1  was  willing  to  confess  my  fault  therein  publicly.  But  I 
 trust  God  will  plead  my  cause." 
 
112  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 I  was  witness  to  the  very  christian  spirit  which  Brainerd  shew- 
 ed at  that  time  ;  being  then  at  New-Haven,  and  one  whom  ho 
 thought  fit  to  consult  on  that  occasion.  This  was  my  first  oppor- 
 tunity of  a  personal  acquaintance  with  him.  There  truly  appear- 
 ed in  him  a  great  degree  of  calmness  and  humility;  without  the 
 least  appearance  of  rising  of  spirit  for  any  ill  treatment  which  he 
 supposed  he  had  suffered  or  the  least  backwardness  to  abase  himself 
 before  them  who,  as  he  thought,  had  wronged  him.  What  he  did 
 was  without  any  objection  or  appearance  of  reluctance,  even  in 
 private  to  his  friends,  to  whom  he  freely  opened  himself.  Ear- 
 nest application  was  made  on  his  behalf  to  the  authority  of  the 
 college,  that  he  might  have  his  degree  then  given  him  ;  and  par- 
 ticularly by  the  Rev.  Mr.  Burr  of  Newark,  one  of  the  corres- 
 pondents of  the  honourable  society  in  Scotland ;  he  being  sent 
 from  New-Jersey  to  New-Haven,  by  the  rest  of  the  commission- 
 ers, for  that  end ;  and  many  arguments  were  used,  but  without 
 success.  Indeed,  the  Governors  of  the  College  were  so  far  satis- 
 fied with  the  reflections  which  Brainerd  had  made  on  himself, 
 that  they  appeared  willing  to  admit  him  again  into  college;  but  not 
 to  give  him  his  degree,  till  he  should  have  remained  there  at  least 
 twelve-months,  which  being  contrary  to  what  the  Correspond- 
 ents, to  whom  he  was  now  engaged,  had  declared  to  be  their 
 mind,  he  did  not  consent  to  it.  He  desired  his  degree,  as  he 
 thought  it  would  tend  to  his  being  more  extensively  useful;  but 
 still  when  he  was  denied  it,  he  manifested  no  disappointment  or 
 resentment.  The  next  day  he  went  to  Derby ;  then  to  Southbu- 
 ry,  where  he  spent  the  Sabbath  :  and  speaks  of  some  spiritual 
 comfort;  but  complains  much  of  unfixedness,  and  wanderings  of 
 mind  in  religion. 
 
 Sept.  19.  "  In  the  afternoon,  rode  to  Bethlehem,  and  there 
 preached.  Had  some  measure  of  assistance,  both  in  prayer  and 
 preaching.  I  felt  serious,  kind  and  tender  towards  all  mankind, 
 and  longed  that  holiness  might  flourish  more  on  earth. 
 
 Sept.  20.  "  Had  thoughts  of  going  forward  on  my  journey  to 
 my  Indians ;  but  towards  night  was  taken  with  a  hard  pain  in  my 
 teeth,  and  shivering  cold  ;  and  could  not  possibly  recover  a  com- 
 fortable degree  of  warmth  the  whole  night  following.  I  continu- 
 ed very  full  of  pain  all  night;  and  in  the  morning  had  a  very 
 hard  fever,  and  pains  almost  over  my  whole  body.  I  had  a  sense 
 of  the  divine  goodness  in  appointing  this  to  be  the  place  of  my 
 sickness,  among  my  friends  who  were  very  kind  to  me.  I  should 
 probably  have  perished,  if  I  had  first  got  home  to  my  own  house  in 
 the  wilderness,  where  I  have  none  to  converse  with  but  the  poor, 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  113 
 
 rude,  ignorant  Indians.  Here,  I  saw,  was  mercy  in  the  midst  of 
 affliction.  I  continued  thus,  mostly  confined  to  my  bed,  till  Fri- 
 day night;  very  full  of  pain  most  of  the  time ;  but  through  divine 
 goodness,  not  afraid  of  death.  Then  the  extreme  folly  of  those 
 appeared  to  me,  who  put  off  their  turning  to  God  till  a  sick  bed. 
 Surely  this  is  not  a  time  proper  to  prepare  for  eternity.  On  Fri- 
 day evening,  my  pains  went  off  somewhat  suddenly.  I  was  ex- 
 ceedingly weak,  and  almost  fainted;  but  was  very  comfortable  the 
 night  following.  These  words,  Psal.  cxviii.  17.  I  shall  not  die^ 
 but  live,  &c.  I  frequently  revolved  in  my  mind;  and  thought  we 
 were  to  prize  the  continuation  of  hfe,  only  on  this  account,  that 
 we  may  "  shew  forth  God's  goodness  and  works  of  grace." 
 
 From  this  time  he  gradually  recovered;  and  the  next  Tuesday 
 was  so  well  as  to  be  able  to  go  forward  on  his  journey  home- 
 wards ;  but  it  was  not  till  the  Tuesday  following,  that  he  reached 
 Kaunaumeek.  He  seems  great  part  of  this  time,  to  have  had  a 
 very  deep  and  lively  sense  of  the  vanity  and  emptiness  of  all 
 things  here  below,  and  of  the  reality,  nearness,  and  vast  impor- 
 tance of  eternal  things. 
 
 Oct,  4.  "  This  day  rode  home  to  my  own  house  and  people. 
 The  poor  Indians  appeared  very  glad  of  my  return.  Found  my 
 house  and  all  things  in  safety.  I  presently  fell  on  my  knees,  and 
 blessed  God  for  my  safe  return,  after  a  long  and  tedious  journey, 
 and  a  season  of  sickness  in  several  places  where  I  had  been,  and 
 after  I  had  been  ill  myself.  God  has  renewed  his  kindness  to 
 me,  in  preserving  me  one  journey  more.  I  have  taken  many 
 considerable  journies  since  this  time  last  year,  and  yet  God  has 
 never  suffered  one  of  my  bones  to  be  broken,  or  any  distressing 
 calamity  to  befal  me,  excepting  the  ill  turn  I  had  in  my  last  jour- 
 ney. I  have  been  often  exposed  to  cold  and  hunger  in  the  wil- 
 derness, where  the  comforts  of  life  were  not  to  be  had ;  have 
 frequently  been  lost  in  the  woods ;  and  sometimes  obliged  to 
 ride  much  of  the  night ;  and  once  lay  out  in  the  woods  all  night ; 
 yet,  blessed  be  God,  he  has  preserved  me !" 
 
 In  his  diary  for  the  next  eleven  days,  are  great  complaints  of 
 distance  from  God,  spiritual  pride,  corruption,  and  exceeding 
 vileness.  He  once  says,  his  heart  was  so  oppressed  with  a  sense 
 of  his  pollution,  that  he  could  scarcely  have  the  face  and  im- 
 pudence (as  it  then  appeared  to  him)  to  desire  that  God  should 
 not  damn  him  forever.  And  at  another  time,  he  says,  he  had  so 
 little  sense  of  God,  or  apprehension  and  relish  of  his  glory  and 
 
 1 5 
 
114  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 excellency,  that  it  made  him  more  disposed  to  kindness  and  ten- 
 derness towards  those  who  are  blind  and  ignorant  of  God  and 
 things  divine  and  heavenly. 
 
 Lord^s  day,  Oct.  16,  "In  the  evening,  God  was  pleased  to 
 give  me  a  feeling  sense  of  my  own  unworthiness  ;  but  through 
 divine  goodness  such  as  tended  to  draw  me  to,  rather  than  drive 
 me  from,  God.  It  filled  me  with  solemnity.  I  retired  alone, 
 (having  at  this  time  a  friend  with  me)  and  poured  out  my  soul 
 to  God  with  much  freedom ;  and  yet  in  anguish,  to  find  myself  so 
 unspeakably  sinful  and  unworthy  before  a  holy  God.  Was  now 
 much  resigned  under  God's  dispensations  towards  me,  though  my 
 trials  had  been  very  great.  But  thought  whether  I  could  be  re- 
 signed, if  God  should  let  the  French  Indians  come  upon  me  and 
 deprive  me  of  life,  or  carry  me  away  captive,  (though  I  knew  of 
 no  special  reason  then  to  propose  this  trial  to  myself,  more  than 
 any  other;)  and  my  soul  seemed  so  far  to  rest  and  acquiesce  in 
 God,  that  the  sting  and  terror  of  these  things,  seemed  in  a  great 
 measure  gone.  Presently  after  I  came  to  the  Indians,  whom  I 
 was  teaching  to  sing  that  evening,  I  received  the  following  letter 
 from  Stockbridge,  by  a  messenger  sent  on  the  Sabbath  on  pur- 
 pose, which  made  it  appear  of  greater  importance. 
 
 'Sir — Just  now  we  received  advices  from  Col.  Stoddard,  that 
 there  is  the  utmost  danger  of  a  rupture  with  France.  He  has 
 ,  received  the  same  from  his  Excellency  our  Governour,  ordering 
 ^  him  to  give  notice  to  all  (he  exposed  places,  that  they  may  se- 
 cure themselves  the  best  they  can  against  any  sudden  invasion. 
 We  thought  best  to  send  directly  to  JKaunaumeek,  that  you  may 
 take  the  most  prudent  measures  for  your  safety.     I  am,  Sir,  &:c.' 
 
 "I  thought,  upon  reading  the  contents,  it  came  in  a  good  sea- 
 son ;  for  my  heart  seemed  fixed  on  God,  and  therefore  I  was  not 
 much  surprized.  This  news  only  made  me  more  serious,  and 
 taught  me  that  I  must  not  please  myself  with  any  of  the  comforts 
 of  life  which  I  had  been  preparing.  Blessed  be  God,  who  gave 
 me  any  intenseness  and  fervency  this  evening  ! 
 
 Oct.  17.  "  Had  sortie  rising  hopes,  that  'God  would  arise  and 
 have  mercy  on  Zion  speedily.'  My  heart  is  indeed  refreshed, 
 when  I  have  any  prevailing  hopes  of  Zion's  prosperity.  Oh  that 
 I  may  see  the  glorious  day,  when  Zion  shall  become  the  joy  of  the 
 whole  earth !  Truly  there  is  nothing  that  I  greatly  value  in  this 
 lower  world." 
 
 On  Tuesday,  he  rode  to  Stockbridge  ;  complains  of  being  much 
 diverted,  and  having  but  little  life.     On  Wednesday,  he  expresses 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  115 
 
 some  solemn  sense  of  divine  things,  and  a  longing  to  be  always 
 doing  for  God  with  a  friendly  frame  of  spirit. 
 
 Oct,  20.  "  Had  but  little  sense  of  divine  things  this  day.  Alas, 
 that  so  much  of  my  precious  time  is  spent  with  so  little  of  God ! 
 Those  are  tedious  days  wherein  1  have  no  spirituality. 
 
 Oct,  21.  Returned  home  to  Kaunaumeek:  was  glad  to  get 
 ,alone  in  my  little  cottage,  and  to  cry  to  that  God  who  seeth  in  se- 
 cret, and  is  present  in  a  wilderness. 
 
 Oct,  22.  "  Had  but  little  sensible  communion  with  God.  This 
 world  is  a  dark,  cloudy  mansion.  O  when  wiii  the  Sun  of  Right- 
 eousness shine  on  my  soul  without  intermission! 
 
 Lord's  day,  OqI.  23.  "  In  the  morning,  1  had  a  little  dawn  of 
 comfort  arising  from  hopes  of  seeing  glorious  days  in  the  Church 
 of  God  ;  and  was  enabled  to  pray  for  such  a  glorious  day,  with 
 some  courage,  and  strength  of  hope.  In  the  forenoon,  treated 
 on  tne  glories  of  heaven  :  In  the  afternoon,  on  the  miseries  of 
 hell,  and  the  danger  of  going  there.  Had  some  freedom  and 
 warmth,  both  parts  of  the  day.  And  my  people  were  very  at- 
 tentive. In  the  evening,  two  or  three  came  to  me  under  concern 
 for  their  souls ;  to  whom  1  was  enabled  to  discourse  closely,  and 
 with  some  earnestness  and  desire.  Oh  that  God  would  be  mercifid 
 to  their  poor  souls  P^ 
 
 He  seems  through  the  7ohole  of  this  xoeek,  to  have  been  greatly 
 engaged  to  till  up  every  inch  of  time  in  the  service  of  God,  and 
 to  have  been  most  diligently  employed  in. study,  prayer,  and  in- 
 structing the  Indians ;  and  from  time  to  time,  expresses  longings 
 of  soul  after  God,  and  the  advancement  of  his  kingdom,  and  spir- 
 itual comfort  and  refreshment. 
 
 Lord'^s  day,  Oct.  30.  "  In  the  morning,  I  enjoyed  some  fixed- 
 ness of  soul  in  prayer,  which  was  indeed  sweet  and  desirable;  and 
 was  enabled  to  leave  myself  with  God,  and  to  acquiesce  in  him. 
 At  noon,  my  soul  was  refreshed  with  readii]g  Rev.  iii.  more  espe- 
 cially the  11th  and  12th  verses.  O  my  soul  longed  for  that  bles- 
 sed day,  when  I  should  '  dwell  in  the  temple  of  God,'  and  'go  no 
 more  out'  of  his  immediate  presence  ! 
 
 Oct.  31.  "Rode  to  Kindcrhook,  about  fifteen  miles  from  my 
 residence.  While  riding,  I  felt  some  divine  sweetness  in  the 
 thoughts  of  being  "  a  pillar  in  the  temple  of  God"  in  the  upper 
 world,  and  being  no  more  deprived  of  his  blessed  presrnce,  and 
 the  sense  of  his  favour,  which  is  better  than  life.  My  soul  was 
 so  lifted  up  to  God,  that  I  could  pour  out  my  desires  to  him,  for 
 more  grace  and  further  degrees  of  sanctification,  with  abundant 
 
U6  MEMOIRS  or  BRAINERD. 
 
 freedom.  O  I  longed  to  be  more  abundantly  prepared  for  that 
 blessedness,  with  which  I  was  then  in  some  measure  refreshed ! 
 Returned  home  in  the  ev^ening;  but  took  an  extremely  bad  cold 
 by  riding  in  the  night. 
 
 J^ov,  1 .  "  Was  yery  much  disordered  in  body,  and  sometimes 
 full  of  pain  in  my  face  and  teeth  ;  was  notable  to  study  much, 
 and  had  not  much  spiritual  comfort  Alas !  when  God  is  with- 
 drawn, all  is  gone.  Had  some  sweet  thoughts,  which  I  could  not 
 but  write  down,  on  the  design,  nature,  and  end  of  Christianity. 
 
 JVov.  2.  *'  Was  still  more  indisposed  in  body,  and  in  much 
 pain,  most  of  the  day.  I  had  not  much  comfort;  was  scarcely 
 able  to  study  at  all ;  and  still  entirely  alone  in  the  wilderness. 
 But  blessed  be  the  Lord,  I  am  not  exposed  in  the  open  air ;  I 
 have  a  house,  and  many  of  the  comforts  of  life,  to  support  me. 
 I  have  leanied,  in  a  measure,  that  all  good  things,  relating  both  to 
 time  and  eternity,  come  from  God.  In  the  evening,  1  had  some 
 degree  of  quickening  in  prayer :  I  think  God  gave  me  some  sense 
 of  his  presence. 
 
 JVov.  3.  "  Spent  this  day  in  seriet  fasting  and  prayer,  from 
 morning  till  night.  Early  in  the  morning,  1  had  some  small  de- 
 gree of  assistance  in  prayer.  Afterwards,  read  the  story  of  Elijah 
 the  prophet,  1  Kings,  xvii.  xviii.  and  xix.  chapters,  and  also  2 
 Kings,  ii.  and  iv.  chapters.  My  soul  was  much  moved,  observing 
 the  faith,  zeal,  and  power  of  that  holy  man ;  how  he  wrestled  with 
 God  in  j^rayer,  &ic.  My  soul  then  cried  with  Elisha,  "  Where  is 
 the  Lord  God  of  Elijah !"  O  I  longed  for  more  faith  !  My  soul 
 breathed  after  God,  and  pleaded  with  him,  that  a  "  double  por- 
 tion oi'  that  spirit,"  which  was  given  to  Elijah,  might  "  rest  on 
 me."  And  that  which  was  divinely  refreshing  and  strengthening 
 to  my  soul,  was,  I  saw  that  God  is  the  same  that  he  was  in  the 
 days  of  Elijah. — Was  enabled  to  wrestle  with  God  by  prayer,  in 
 a  more  affectionate,  fervent,  humble,  intense,  and  importunate 
 manner,  than  I  have  for  many  months  past.  Nothing  seemed  too 
 hard  for  God  to  perform  ;  nothing  too  great  for  me  to  hope  for 
 from  him.  I  had  for  many  months  entirely  lost  all  hopes  of  being 
 mac/e  instrumental  of  doing  any  special  service  for  God  in  the 
 world  ;  it  has  appeared  entirely  impossible,  that  one  so  vile  should 
 be  thus  employed  for  God.  But  at  this  time  God  was  pleased  to 
 revive  this  hope.  Afterwards  read  from  the  iii.  chapter  of  Exo- 
 dus to  the  XX.  and  saw  more  of  the  glory  and  majesty  of  God  dis- 
 covered in  those  chapters,  than  ever  I  had  seen  before  ;  frequent- 
 ly in  the  mean  time  falling  on  my  knees,  and  crying  to  God  for 
 the  faith  of  Moses,  and  for  a  manifestation  of  the  divine  glory. — 
 Especially  the  iii.   and  iv.  and  part  of  the  xiv,  and  xv.  chapters 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  117 
 
 were  unspeakably  sweet  to  my  soul :  my  soul  blessed  God,  that 
 he  had  sheyvn  himself  so  gracious  to  his  servants  of  old.  The  xv. 
 chapter  seemed  to  be  the  very  language  which  my  soul  uttered  to 
 God  in  the  season  of  my  first  spiritual  comfort,  when  I  had  just 
 got  through  the  Red  Sea,  by  a  way  that  I  had  no  expectation  of. 
 O  how  my  soul  then  rejoiced  in  God!  And  now  those  things  came 
 fresh  and  lively  to  my  mind;  now  my  soul  blessed  God  afresh 
 that  he  had  opened  that  unthought  of  way  to  deliver  me  from  the 
 fear  of  the  Egyptians,  when  I  almost  despaired  of  life. — After- 
 wards read  the  story  of  Abraham's  pilgrimage  in  the  land  of  Ca- 
 naan. My  soul  was  melted,  in  observing  his  faith,  how  he  leaned 
 on  God;  how  he  communed  with  God;  and  what  a  stranger  he 
 was  here  in  the  world.  After  that,  read  the  story  of  Joseph's  suf- 
 ferings, and  God's  goodness  to  him  :  blessed  God  for  these  ex- 
 amples of  faith  and  patience.  My  soul  was  ardent  in  prayer,  was 
 enabled  to  wrestle  ardently  for  myself,  for  Christian  friends,  and 
 for  the  church  of  God.  And  felt  more  desird^  to  see  the  power  of 
 God  in  the  conversion  of  souls,  than  I  have  done  for  a  long  sea- 
 son. Blessed  be  God  for  this  season  of  fasting  and  prayer ! — 
 May  his  goodness  always  abide  with  me,  and  draw  my  soul  to 
 him  ! 
 
 JVov.  4.  ^'  Rode  to  Kinderhook :  went  quite  to  Hudson's  riv- 
 er, about  twenty  miles  from  my  house;  performed  some  business; 
 and  returned  home  in  the  evening  to  my  own  house.  I  had  rather 
 ride  hard,  and  fatigue  myself,  to  get  home,  than  to  spend  the  eve- 
 ning and  night  amongst  those  who  have  no  regard  for  God." 
 
 The  tico  next  days,  he  was  very  ill,  and  full  of  pain,  probably 
 through  his  riding  in  the  night,  after  a  fatiguing  day's  journey  on 
 Thursday  ;  but  yet  seems  to  have  been  diligent  in  business. 
 
 JVov,  7.  This  morning  the  Lord  afforded  me  some  special  as- 
 sistance in  prayer;  my  mind  was  solemn,  fixed,  affectionate,  and 
 ardent  in  desires  after  holiness ;  felt  full  of  tenderness  and  love  ; 
 and  my  affections  seemed  to  be  dissolved  into  kindness.  In  the 
 evening,  I  enjoyed  the  same  comfortable  assistance  in  prayer,  as 
 in  the  morning:  my  soul  longed  afier  God,  and  cried  to  him  with 
 a  filial  freedom,  reverence  and  boldness.  Oh  that  I  might  be  en- 
 tirely consecrated  and  devoted  to  God !'' 
 
 Tlie  two  next  days,  he  complains  of  bodily  illness  and  pain  ;  but 
 much  more  of  spiritual  barrenness  and  unprofitableness. 
 
 JVov,  10.  "Spent  this  day  in  fasting  and  prayer  alone.  lu 
 the  morning,  was  very  dull  and  lifeless,  melancholy  and  discour- 
 
118  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 aged.  But  after  some  time,  while  reading  2  Kings,  xix.  my  soul 
 was  moved  and  affected;  especially  reading  verse  14,  and  onward. 
 I  saw  there  was  no  other  way  for  the  afflicted  children  of  God  to 
 take,  but  to  go  to  God  with  all  their  sorrows.  Hezekiah,  in  his 
 great  distress,  went  and  spread  his  complaint  before  the  Lord.  1 
 was  then  enabled  to  see  the  mighty  power  of  God,  and  my  ex- 
 treme need  of  that  power;  and  to  cry  to  him  affectionately  and 
 ardently  for  his  power  and  grace  to  be  exercised  towards  me. — 
 Afterwards,  read  the  story  of  David's  trials,  and  observed  the 
 eourse  he  took  under  them,  how  he  strengthened  his  hands  in 
 God ;  whereby  my  soul  was  carried  out  after  God,  enabled  to 
 cry  to  him,  and  rely  upon  him,  and  ieh  strong  in  the  Lord.  Was 
 afterwards  refreshed,  observing  the  blessed  temper  that  was 
 wrought  in  David  by  his  trials :  all  bitterness,  and  desire  of  re- 
 venge, seemed  wholly  taken  away;  so  that  he  mourned  for  the 
 death  of  his  enemies;  2Sam.  i.  17.  and  iv.  9.  ad.  Jin, — Was  ena- 
 bled to  bless  God,  that  he  had  given  me  somethingof  this  divine 
 temper,  that  my  soul  freely  forgives,   and  heartily  loves  my  ene- 
 
 It  appears  by  his  diary  for  the  remaining  part  of  this  week,  and 
 for  the  two  fllowing  iveeks,  that  great  part  of  the  time  he  was 
 very  ill,  and  full  of  pain  ;  and  yet  obliged,  through  his  circumstan- 
 ces, in  this  ill  state  of  body,  to  be  at  great  fatigues,  in  labour,  and 
 ti-avelling  day  and  night,  and  to  expose  himself  in  stormy  and  se- 
 vere seasons.  He,  from  time  to  time,  within  this  space,  speaks  of 
 thirstings  of  soul  after  God  ;  of  his  heart  being  strengthened  in 
 God;  of  seasons  of  divine  sweetness  and  comfort;  of  his  heart  be- 
 ing affected  with  gratitude  for  mercies,  &;c.  Yet  there  are  many 
 complaints  of  lifelessness,  weakness  of  grace,  distance  from  God, 
 and  great  unprofitableness.  But  still  there  appears  a  constant 
 care,  from  day  to  day,  not  to  lose  time,  but  to  improve  it  all  for 
 God. 
 
 Lord^s  day,  Not.  27.  "  In  the  evening,  I  was  greatly  affected 
 in  reading  an  account  of  the  very  joyful  death  of  a  pious  gentle- 
 man ;  which  seemed  to  invigorate  my  soul  in  God's  ways.  I  felt 
 courageously  engaged  to  pursue  a  life  of  holiness  and  self-denial 
 as  long  as  I  live  ;  and  poured  out  my  soul  to  God  for  his  help  and 
 assistance  in  order  thereto.  Eternity  then  seemed  near,  and  my 
 soul  rejoiced  and  longed  to  meet  it.  I  trust  that  will  be  a  blessed 
 day  which  finishes  my  toil  here. 
 
 Nov.  28.  "  In  the  evening,  I  was  obliged  to  spend  time  in 
 company  and  conversation,  which  were  unprofitable.  Nothing 
 lies  heavier  upon  me,  than  the  mis-improvement  of  time. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  119 
 
 Nov.  29.  "  Began  to  study  the  Indian  tongue,  with  Mr.  Ser- 
 geant at  Stockbridge.*  Was  perplexed  for  want  of  more  retire- 
 ment. I  love  to  live  alone  in  my  own  little  cottage^  where  I  can 
 spend  much  time  in  prayer,  &£C. 
 
 JVov.  30.  "  Pursued  my  study  of  Indian:  but  was  very  weak 
 and  disordered  in  body,  and  was  troubled  in  mind  at  the  barren- 
 ness of  the  day,  that  I  had  done  so  little  for  God.  I  had  some 
 enlargement  in  prayer  at  night.  O  a  barn,  or  stable,  hedge,  or 
 any  other  place,  is  truly  desirable,  if  God  is  there !  Sometimes, 
 of  late,  my  hopes  of  Zion's  prosperity  are  more  raised,  than  they 
 were  in  the  summer.  My  soul  seems  to  confide  in  God  that  he 
 will  yet  "  shew  forth  his  salvation"  to  his  people,  and  make  Zion 
 "  the  joy  of  the  whole  earth.  O  how  excellent  is  the  loving-kind- 
 ness of  the  Lord.  My  soul  sometimes  inwardly  exults  at  the  live- 
 ly thoughts  of  what  God  has  already  done  for  his  church,  and  what 
 **  mine  eyes  have  seen  of  the  salvation  of  God."  It  is  sweet,  to 
 hear  nothing  but  spiritual  discourse  from  God's  children  ;  and  sin- 
 ners "'  enquiring  the  way  to  Zion,"  saying,  "What  shall  we  do.''" 
 &c.     Oh  that  1  may  see  more  of  this  blessed  work  ! 
 
 Dec,  I.  "  Both  morning  and  evening,  I  enjoyed  some  intense- 
 ness  of  soul  in  prayer,  and  longed  for  the  enlargement  of  Christ's 
 kingdom  in  the  world.  My  soul  seems,  of  late,  to  wait  on  God 
 for  his  blessing  on  Zion.  Oh  that  relig-ion  might  powerfully  re- 
 vive ! 
 
 Dec.  2.  "  Enjoyed  not  so  much  health  of  body,  or  fervour  of 
 mind,  as  yesterday.  If  the  chariot- wheels  move  with  ease  and 
 speed  at  any  time,  for  a  short  space  ;  yet  by  and  by  they  drive 
 heavily  again.  "Oh  that  I  had  the  wings  of  a  dove,  that  I  might 
 fly  away"  from  sin  and  corruption,  and  be  at  rest  with  God! 
 
 Dec.  3.  "  Rode  home  to  my  house  and  people.  Suffered 
 much  with  extreme  cold. — I  trust,  I  shall  ere  long  arrive  safe  at 
 ray  journey's  end,  where  my  toils  shall  cease. 
 
 Lord^s  day,  Dec.  4.  "Had  but  little  sense  of  divine  and  hea- 
 venly things.  My  soul  mourns  over  my  barrenness.  O  how  sad 
 is  spiritual  deadness! 
 
 Dec.  5.  "  Rode  to  Stockbridge.  Was  almost  outdone  with 
 the  extreme  cold.  Had  some  refreshing  meditations  by  the  way; 
 but  was  barren,  wandering,  and  lifeless,  much  of  the  day.  Thus 
 my  days  roll  away,  with  but  little  done  for  God;  and  this  is  my 
 burden. 
 
 *  The  commissioners  who  employed  him,  had  directed  him  to  spend  much  time 
 this  winter  with  Mr.  Sergeant,  to  learn  the  language  of  the  Indians ;  which  necessi- 
 tated him  very  often  to  ride,  backwards  and  forwards,  twenty  miles  through  the  un- 
 inhabited woods  between  Stockbridge  and  Kaunaumeek ;  which  many  times  exposed 
 hJm  t»  extreme  hardship  in  the  severe  seasons  of  the  winter. 
 
120  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD, 
 
 Dec,  6.  "  Was  perplexed  to  see  the  vanity  and  levity  of  pro- 
 fessed Christians.  Spent  the  evening  With  a  Christian  friend, 
 who  was  aWe  in  some  measure  to  sympathize  with  me  in  my 
 spiritual  conflicts.  Was  a  little  refreshed  to  find  one  with  whom 
 I  could  converse  of  inward  trials^  ^"C, 
 
 Dec.  7.  "  Spent  the  evening  in  perplexity,  with  a  kind  of 
 guilty  indolence.  When  I  have  no  heart  or  resolution  for  God, 
 and  the  duties  incumbent  on  me,  I  feel  guilty  of  negligence  and 
 mis-improvement  of  time.  Certainly  f  ought  to  be  engaged  in 
 my  work  and  business,  to  the  utmost  extent  of  my  strength  and 
 ability, 
 
 Dec,  8.  "  My  mind  "was  much  distracted  with  diflerent  affec- 
 tions, I  seemed  to  be  at  an  amazing  distance  from  God ;  and 
 looking  round  in  the  world,  to  see  if  there  was  not  some  happi- 
 ness to  be  derived  from  it.  God,  and  certain  objects  in  the 
 world,  seemed  each  to  invite  my  heart  and  affections  ;  and  my 
 soul  seemed  to  be  distracted  between  them.  I  have  not  been  so 
 much  beset  with  the  world  for  a  long  time  ;  and  that  with  rela- 
 tion to  some  particular  objects,  to  which  I  thought  myself  most 
 dead.  But  even  while  I  was  desiring  to  please  myself  with  any 
 thing  below;  guilt,  sorrow  and  perplexity  attended  the  first  mo- 
 tions of  desire.  Indeed,  I  cannot  see  the  appearance  of  pleasure 
 and  happiness  in  the  world,  as  I  used  to  do :  and  blessed  be  God 
 for  any  habitual  deadness  to  the  world. — I  found  no  peace,  or  de- 
 liverance from  this  distraction  and  perplexity  of  mind,  till  I  found 
 access  to  the  throne  of  grace :  and  as  soon  as  I  had  any  sense  of 
 God,  and  things  divine,  the  allurements  of  the  world  vanished, 
 and  my  heart  was  determined  for  God.  But  my  soul  mourned 
 over  my  folly,  that  I  should  desire  any  pleasure,  but  only  in  God. 
 God  forgive  my  spiritual  idolatry  .''' 
 
 The  next  thirteen  days,  he  appears  to  have  been  continually  in 
 deep  concern  about  the  improvement  of  precious  time;  and  there 
 are  many  expressions  of  grief,  that  he  improved  time  no  better; 
 such  as,  "  O  what  misery  do  I  feel,  when  '  my  thoughts  rove  af- 
 ter vanity  !  I  should  be  happy  if  always  engaged  for  God !  O 
 wretched  man  that  I  am!"  &c.  Speaks  of  his  being  pained  with 
 a  sense  of  his  barrenness,  perplexed  with  his  wanderings,  longing 
 for  deliverance  from  sin,  mourning  that  time  passed  away,  and  so 
 little  was  done  for  God,  &:c. — On  Tuesday,  December  20,  he 
 speaks  of  his  being  visited  at  Kaunaumeek  by  some  under  spiritu- 
 al concern. 
 
 Dec,  22.  "  Spent  this  day  alone  in  fasting  and  prayer,  and 
 wading  in  God's  word  the  exercises  and  deliverances  of  his  chil- 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  121 
 
 dren.  Had,  I  trust,  some  exercise  of  faith,  and  realizins^  appre- 
 hension of  divine  power,  grace,  and  holiness  ;  and  also  of  the  un- 
 chanji;eableness  of  God,  that  he  is  the  same  as  when  he  delivered 
 his  saints  of  old  out  of  great  tribulation.  My  soul  was  sundry 
 times  in  prayer  enlarged  for  God's  church  and  people.  Oh  that 
 Zion  might  become  the  ''joy  of  the  whole  earth!"  It  is  better 
 to  wait  upon  God  with  patience,  than  to  put  confidence  in  any 
 thing  in  this  lower  world.  "  My  soul,  wait  thou  on  the  Lord  ; 
 for  "  from  him  comes  thy  salvation." 
 
 Dec.  23.  "Felt  a  little  more  courage  and  resolution  in  reli- 
 gion,  than  at  some  other  times. 
 
 Dec.  24.  "  Had  some  assistance  and  longing  desires  after 
 sanctification,  in  prayer  this  day  ;  especially  in  the  evening:  was 
 sensible  of  my  own  weakness  and  spiritual  impotency  ;  saw  plain- 
 ly, that  I  should  fall  into  sin,  if  God  of  his  abundant  mercy  did 
 not  "  uphold  my  soul,  and  withhold  me  from  evil."  Oh  that  God 
 would  uphold  me  by  his  free  Spirit,  and  save  me  from  the  hour  of 
 temptation.'^'' 
 
 LorcPs  day,  Dec.  25.  "  Prayed  much,  in  the  morning,  with  a 
 feeling  sense  of  my  own  spiritual  weakness  and  insufficiency  for 
 any  duty.  God  gave  me  some  assistance  in  preaching  to  the  In- 
 dians; and  especially  in  the  afternoon,  when  I  was  enabled  to 
 speak  with  uncommon  plainness,  freedom,  and  earnestness. 
 Blessed  be  God  for  any  assistance  granted  to  one  so  unAvorthy. 
 Afterwards  felt  some  thankfulness  ;  but  still  sensible  of  bar- 
 renness.— Spent  some  time  in  the  evening  with  one  or  two 
 persons  under  spiritual  concern,  and  exhorting  other  to  their 
 duty,  (Szc. 
 
 Dec.  26.  "Rode  down  to  Stockbridge.  Was  very  much  fa- 
 tigued with  my  journey,  wherein  I  underwent  great  hardships: 
 was  much  exposed  and  very  v^et  by  falling  into  a  river.  Spent 
 the  day  and  evening  without  much  sense  of  divine  and  heavenly 
 things;  but  felt  guilty,  grieved,  and  perplexed  with  Avandering, 
 careless  thoughts. 
 
 Dec.  27.  "Had  a  small  degree  of  warmth  in  secret  prayer, 
 in  the  evening ;  but,  alas!  had  but  little  spiritual  life,  and  conse- 
 quently but  little  comfort.     Oh,  the  pressure  of  a  body  of  deathr 
 
 This  day  he  wrote  to  his  brother  John,  at  Yale  College,  the 
 following  letter. 
 
 Kaunaumeek,  Dec.  27,  1743. 
 Dear  Brother, 
 
 I  long  to  see  you,  and  to  know  how  you  fare  in  your  journey 
 through  a  world  of  inexpressible  sorrow:  vvhere  we  are  corapas* 
 
 10 
 
122  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 sed  about  with  "vanity,  conlusion,  and  vexation  of  spirit."  I  am 
 more  weary  of  life,  I  think,  than  ever  I  was.  The  whole  tvorld 
 appears  to  me  Hke  a  huge  vacnum,  a  vast  empty  space,  whence 
 nothing  desirable,  or  at  least  satisfactory,  can  possibly  be  derived; 
 and  I  long  daily  Xo  die  more  and  more  to  it;  even  though  I  obtain 
 not  that  comfort  from  spiritual  things  which  I  earnestly  desire. 
 Worldly  pleasures,  such  as  flow  from  greatness,  riches,  bono  rs, 
 and  sensual  gratifications,  are  infinitely  ivorse  than  none.  May 
 the  Lord  deliver  us  more  and  more  from  these  vanities.  I  have 
 spent  most  of  the  fall  and  winter  hitherto  in  a  very  weak  state  of 
 body;  and  sometimes  under  pressing  inward  trials  and  spiritual 
 conflicts;  but  "  having  obtained  help  from  God,  I  continue  to  this 
 day;"  and  am  now  somewhat  better  in  health,  thanlwas  sometime 
 ago.  I  find  nothing  more  conducive  to  a  life  of  Christianity,  than 
 a  diligent,  industrious,  and  faithful  improvement  of  precious  ^me. 
 Let  us  then  faithfully  perform  that  business,  which  is  allotted  to 
 us  by  divine  Providence,  to  the  utmost  of  our  bodily  strength,  and 
 mental  vigour.  Why  should  we  sink,  and  grow  discouraged,  with 
 any  particular  trials  and  perplexities,  which  we  are  called  to  en- 
 counter in  the  world. ^  Death  and  Eternity  are  just  before  us;  a 
 few  tossing  billows  more  will  waft  us  into  the  world  of  spirits,  and 
 we  hope,  through  infinite  grace,  into  endless  pleasures,  and  unin- 
 terrupted rest  and  peace.  Let  us  then  "  run,  with  patience,  the 
 race  set  before  us,"  Heb.  xii.  1,2.  And,  Oh,  that  we  could  de- 
 pend more  upon  the  living  God,  and  less  upon  our  own  wisdom 
 and  strength! Dear  brother,  may  the  God  of  all  grace  com- 
 fort your  heart,  and  succeed  your  studies,  and  make  you  an  in- 
 strument of  good  to  his  people  in  your  day.  This  is  the  constant 
 prayer  of 
 
 "Your  affectionate  brother, 
 
 "David  Brainerd." 
 
 Dec.  28.  "  Rode  about  six  miles  to  the  ordination  of  Mr.  Hop- 
 kins. At  the  solemnity  I  was  somewhat  affected  with  a  sense  of 
 the  greatness  and  importance  of  the  work  of  a  minister  of  Christ. 
 Afterwards  was  grieved  to  see  the  vanity  of  the  multitude.  In 
 the  evening,  spent  a  little  time  with  some  Christian  friends,  with 
 some  degree  of  satisfaction  ;  but  most  of  the  time,  I  had  rather 
 have  been  alone. 
 
 Dec.  29.  '-Spent  the  day  mainly  in  conversing  with  friends  ; 
 yet  enjoyed  little  satisfaction,  because  I  could  find  but  few  dispos- 
 ed to  converse  of  divine  and  heavenly  things.  Alas,  what  are 
 the  things  of  this  world,  to  afford  satisfaction  to  the  soul! — Near 
 night,  returned  to  Stockbridge  ;  in  secret,  I  blessed  God  for  re- 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BUAINERD.  123 
 
 lirement,  and  that  I  am  not  always  exposed  to  the  company  and 
 conversation  of  the  wond.  O  that  I  cotdd  live  "in  the  secret  of 
 God's  presence  !" 
 
 Hec.  30.  "  Was  in  a  solemn,  devout  frame  in  the  evening. 
 Wondered  that  earth,  with  all  its  charms,  should  ever  allure  nie 
 in  the  least  degree.  Oh,  that  I  could  always  realize  the  being  and 
 holiness  of  God  ! 
 
 Dec.  31.  "Rode  from  Stockbridge  home  to  my  house:  the 
 air  was  clear  and  calm,  but  as  cold  as  ever  I  felt  it,  or  nearly.  I 
 was  in  great  danger  of  perishing  by  the  extremity  of  the  season. — 
 Was  enabled  to  meditate  much  on  the  road. 
 
 Lord's  day,  Jan.  1,  1744.  "In  the  morning,  had  some  small 
 degree  of  assistance  in  prayer.  Saw  myself  so. vile  and  unworthy, 
 that  I  could  not  look  ray  people  in  the  face,  when  I  came  to  preach. 
 O  my  meanness,  folly,  ignorance,  and  inward  polution  ! — In  the 
 evening,  had  a  little  assistance  in  prayer,  so  that  the  duty  was  de- 
 lightful, rather  than  burdensome.  Reflected  on  the  goodness  of 
 God  to  me  in  the  past  year,  &c.  Of  a  truth  God  has  been  kind 
 and  gracious  to  me,  though  he  has  caused  me  to  pass  through 
 many  sorrows;  he  has  provided  for  me  bountifully,  so  that  1  have 
 6een  enabled,  in  about  fifteen  months  past,  to  bestow  to  charita- 
 ble uses  about  an  hundred  pot^irf^  New-England  money,  that  I 
 can  now  remember.*  Blessed  be  the  Lord,  that  has  so  far  used 
 me  as  his  steivard,  to  distribute  ?l  portion  of  his  goods.  May  I  al- 
 ways remember,  that  all  I  have  comes  from  God.  Blessed  be  the 
 Lord,  that  has  carried  me  through  all  the  toils,  fatigues,  and  hard- 
 ships of  the  year  past,  as  w^ell  as  the  spiritual  sorrows  and  conflicts 
 that  have  attended  it.  O  that  I  could  begin  this  year  ivith  God, 
 and  spend  the  whole  of  it  to  his  glory,  either  in  life  or  death  ! 
 
 Jan.  2.  "  Had  some  affecting  sense  of  my  own  impotency  and 
 spiritual  weakness. — It  is  nothing  but  the  power  of  God  (hat  keeps 
 me  from  all  manner  of  wickedness.  I  see  I  am  nothing,  and  can 
 do  nothing  without  help  from  above.  Oh,  for  divine  grace  !  In 
 the  evening  had  some  ardour  of  soul  in  prayer,  and  longing  desires 
 to  have  God  for  my  guide  and  safeguard  at  all  times." 
 
 *  Which  was,  I  suppose,  to  the  value  of  about  one  hundred  and  eighty-fire  pounds 
 in  our  bills  of  the  old  tenor,  as  they  now  pass. — By  this,  as  well  as  many  otiier  Ihing-g 
 it  is  manifest,  that  his  frequent  melancholy  did  not  arise  from  the  consideration  of 
 any  disadvantage  he  was  laid  under  to  get  a  living  in  the  world,  by  his  expulsion 
 from  the  college. 
 
124  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 The  following  Letter  to  his  brother  Israel,  at  Hacldam,was  writ- 
 ten this  day. 
 
 Kaunaumcek,  Jan.  2,  1743 — 4. 
 
 "my  dear  brother, 
 
 "There  is  but  onr  thing  that  deserves  our  highest  care  and 
 most  ardent  desires;  and  that  is,  that  we  may  nnswer  the  great 
 end  for  which  we  were  made,  viz.  to  glorify  that  God^  who  has 
 given  us  our  being  and  all  our  comforts,  and  do  all  the  good  we 
 possibly  can  to  our  fell oiv-men,  while  we  live  in  the  world.  Veri- 
 ly life  is  not  worth  the  having,  if  it  be  not  improved  for  this  noble 
 end  and  purpose.  Yet,  alas,  how  little  is  this  thought  of  among 
 mankind !  Most  men  seem  to  live  to  themselves  without  much  re- 
 gard to  the  glory  of  God,  or  the  good  of  their  fellow  creatures. 
 They  earnestly  desire,  and  eagerly  pursue  after  the  riches,  the 
 'honours,  and  the  pleasures  of  life,  as  if  they  really  supposed, 
 that  wealth  or  greatness,  or  merriment,  could  make  their  immor- 
 tal souls  happy.  But  alas  !  what  false  and  delusive  dreams  are 
 the?e !  And  how  miserable  will  those  erelong  be  who  are  not 
 awaked  out  of  them,  to  see,  that  all  their  happiness  consists  in 
 living  to  God,  and  becoming  "  holy,  as  he  is  holy !"  Oh,  may 
 you  never  fall  into  the  tempers  and  vanities,  the  sensuality  and 
 ibliy  of  the  present  world  !  You  are  by  divine  Providence,  left  as 
 it  were  alone  in  a  wide  world,  to  act  for  yourself:  be  sure  then  to 
 remember,  that  it  is  a  world  of  temptation.  You  have  no  earthly 
 parents  to  be  the  means  of  forming  your  youth  to  piety  and  vir- 
 tue, by  their  pious  examples,  and  seasonable  counsels;  let  this 
 then  excite  you  with  greater  diligence  and  fervency  to  look  up  to 
 the  Father  of  mercies  for  grace  and  assistance  against  all  the  vani- 
 ties of  the  world.  If  you  would  glorify  God,  or  answer  his  just 
 expectations  from  you,  and  make  your  own  soul  happy  in  this 
 and  the  coming  world,  observe  these  few  directions;  though  not 
 from  a  father,  yet  from  a  brother  who  is  touched  with  a  tender 
 concern  for  your  present  and  future  happiness. 
 
 "First;  Resolve  upon,  and  daily  endeavour  to  practise  a  life  of 
 f:eriousness  and  strict  sobriety.  The  wise  man  will  tell  you  the 
 great  advantage  of  such  a  life,  Eccl.  vii.  3.  Think  of  the  life 
 of  Christ;  and  when  you  can  find  that  he  was  pleased  with  jesting 
 and  vain  merriment,  then  you  may  indulge  it  in  yourself. 
 
 "Again;  be  careful  to  mr.ke  a  good  improvement  of  precious 
 time.  When  you  cense  from  labour,  fill  up  your  time  in  reading, 
 meditation,  and  prayer;  and  while  your  hands  are  labouring,  let 
 your  heart  be  employed,  as  much  as  possible,  in  divine  thoughts. 
 
 "  Further  ;  Take  heed  that  you  faithfully  perform  the  business 
 which  you  have  to  do  in  the  world,  from  a  regard  to  the  commands 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  125 
 
 of  God  ;  and  not  from  an  ambitious  desire  of  being  esteemed 
 better  than  others.  We  should  always  look  upon  ourselves  as 
 God's  servants,  placed  in  God's  world,  to  do  Ms  work;  and  ac- 
 cordingly labour  faithfully  for  him;  not  with  a  design  to  grow  rich 
 and  great,  but  to  glorify  God,  and  to  do  all  the  good  we  possibly 
 can. 
 
 "  Again  :  Never  expect  any  satisfaction  or  happiness  from  the 
 world.  If  you  hope  for  happiness  in  the  world,  hope  for  it  from 
 God,  and  not  from  the  world.  Do  not  think  you  shall  be  more 
 happy  if  you  live  to  such  or  such  a  state  of  life,  if  you  live  to  be 
 yourself,  to  be  settled  in  the  world,  or  if  you  should  gain  an  estate 
 in  it :  but  look  upon  it  that  you  shall  then  be  happy ^  when  you  can 
 be  constantly  employed  for  God,  and  not  for  yourself;  and  desire 
 to  live  in  this  world,  only  to  do  and  suffer  what  God  allots  to  you. 
 When  you  can  be  of  the  spirit  and  temper  of  angels,  who  are  wil- 
 ling to  come  down  into  this  lower  world,  to  perform  what  God 
 commands  them,  though  their  desires  are  heavenly,  and  not  in  the 
 least  sfit  on  earthly  things,  then  you  will  be  of  that  temper  which 
 you  ought  to  have.  Col.  iii.  2. 
 
 "  Once  more ;  Never  think  that  you  can  live  to  God  by  your 
 own  power  or  strength  ;  but  always  look  to,  and  rely  on  him  for 
 assistance,  yea  for  all  strength  and  grace.  There  is  no  greater 
 truth  than  this,  that  *  we  can  do  nothing  of  ourselves ;'  (John  xv. 
 5.  and  2  Cor.  iii.  5.)  yet  nothing  but  our  own  experience  can  ef- 
 fectually teach  it  us.  Indeed,  we  are  a  long  time  in  learning,  that 
 all  our  strength  and  salvation,  is  in  God.  This  is  a  life  which  I 
 think  no  unconverted  man  can  possibly  live  ;  and  yet  it  is  a  life 
 which  every  godly  soul  is  pressing  after,  in  some  good  measure. 
 Let  it  then  be  your  great  concern,  thus  to  devote  yourself  and 
 your  all  to  God. 
 
 "  I  long  to  see  you,  that  I  may  say  much  more  to  you  than  I 
 now  can,  for  your  benefit  and  welfare  ;  but  I  desire  to  commit  you 
 to,  and  leave  you  with,  the  Father  of  mercies,  and  God  of  all 
 grace;  praying  that  you  may  be  directed  safely  through  an  evil 
 world,  to  God's  heavenly  kingdom, 
 
 I  am  your  affectionate  loving  brother, 
 
 DAVID  BRAINERD. 
 
 Jan.  3.  "  Was  employed  much  of  the  day  in  writing  ;  and  spent 
 some  time  in  other  necessary  employment.  But  my  time  passes 
 away  so  swiftly,  that  I  am  astonished  when  I  reflect  on  it,  and  see 
 how  little  I  do.  My  state  of  solitude  does  not  make  the  hours 
 hang  heavy  upon  my  hands.  O  what  reason  of  thankfulness  have 
 I  on  account  of  this  retirement !  I  find,  that  I  do  not,  and  it  seems 
 
126  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 I  cannot  lead  a  Christian\\(e,  when  I  am  abroad,  and  cannot  spend 
 time  in  devotion,  Christian  conversation,  and  serious  meditation, 
 as  I  should  do.  Those  weeks  that  I  am  obliged  now  to  be  from 
 home,  in  order  to  learn  the  Indian  tongue,  are  mostly  spent  in 
 perplexity  and  barrenness,  without  much  sweet  relish  of  divine 
 things  ;  and  I  feel  myself  a  stranger  at  the  throne  of  grace,  for 
 want  of  more  frequent  and  continued  retirement.  When  1  return 
 home,  and  give  myself  to  meditation,  prayer,  and  fasting,  a  new- 
 scene  opens  to  my  mind,  and  my  soul  longs  for  mortification,  self- 
 denial,  huitiility,  and  divorcement  from  all  the  things  of  the  world. 
 This  evening,  my  heart  was  somewhat  warm  and  fervent  in  prayer 
 and  meditation,  so  that  I  was  loth  to  indulge  sleep.  Continued  in 
 those  duties  till  about  midnight. 
 
 Jan.  4.  "Was  in  a  resigned  and  mortified  temper  of  mind, 
 much  of  the  day.  Time  appeared  a  moment,  life  a  vapour,  ana 
 all  enjoyments  as  empty  buhhles,  and  fleeting  blasts  of  wind. 
 
 Jan.  5.  "Had  a  humbling  and  oppressive  sense  of  my  un- 
 worthiness.  My  sense  of  the  badness  of  my  own  heart  filled  my 
 soul  with  bitterness  and  anguish;  which  was  ready  to  sink,  as  un- 
 der the  weight  of  a  heavy  burden.  Thus  I  spent  the  evening, 
 till  late.     Was  somewhat  intense  and  ardent  in  prayer. 
 
 Jan,  6.  "Feeling  my  extreme  weakness,  and  want  of  grace, 
 the  pollution  of  my  soul,  and  danger  of  temptations  on  every 
 side,  I  set  apart  this  day  for  fasting  and  prayer,  neither  eating  nor 
 drinking  from  evening  to  evening,  beseeching  God  to  have  mercy 
 on  me.  My  soul  intensely  longed  that  the  dreadful  spots  and 
 stains  of  sin  might  be  washed  away  from  it.  Saw  something  of 
 the  power  and  all-sufficiency  of  God.  My  soul  seemed  to  rest 
 on  his  power  and  grace;  longed  for  resignation  to  his  will,  and 
 mortification  to  all  things  here  below.  My  mind  was  greatly  fix- 
 ed on  divine  things  :  my  resolutions  for  a  life  of  mortification,  con- 
 tinual watchfulness,  self-denial,  seriousness  and  devotion,  were 
 strong  and  fixed;  my  desires  ardent  and  intense;  my  conscience 
 tender,  and  afraid  of  every  appearance  of  evil.  My  soul  grieved 
 with  reflection  on  past  levity,  and  want  of  resolution  for  God.  I 
 solemnly  renewed  my  dedication  of  myself  to  God,  and  longed 
 for  grace  to  ejiable  me  always  to  keep  covenant  with  him.  Time 
 appeared  very  short,  eternity  near;  and  a  great  name,  either  in  or 
 after  life,  together  with  all  earthly  pleasures  and  profits,  but  ati 
 empty  bubble,  a  deluding  dream. 
 
 Jan.  7.  "  Spent  tliis  day  in  seriousness,  with  steadfast  resolu- 
 tions for  God,  and  a  life  of  mortification.  Studied  closely,  till  I 
 felt  my  bodily  strength  fail.  Felt  some  degree  of  resignation  to 
 God,  with  an  acquiescence   in   his  dispensations.     Was  grieved 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  127 
 
 that  I  could  do  so  little  for  God  before  my  bodily  strength  failed. 
 In  the  evening,  though  tired,  was  enabled  to  continue  instant  in 
 prayer  for  some  time.  Spent  the  time  in  reading,  meditation, 
 and  prayer,  till  the  evening  was  far  spent :  was  grieved  to  think 
 that  I  could  not  ivatcli  unto  prayer  the  whole  night.  But  blessed 
 be  God,  heaven  is  a  place  of  continual  and  mcessant  devotion, 
 though  the  earth  is  dull." 
 
 The  six  days  following,  he  continued  in  the  same  happy  frame 
 of  mind ;  enjoyed  the  same  composure,  calmness,  resignation,  ar- 
 dent desire,  and  sweet  fervency  of  spirit,  in  a  high  degree,  every 
 day,  not  one  excepted.  Thursday,  this  week,  he  kept  as  a  day  of 
 secret  fasting  and  prayer. 
 
 Jan.  14.  ''  This  morning,  enjoyed  a  most  solemn  season  in 
 prayer:  my  soul  seemed  enlarged,  and  assisted  to  pour  out  itself 
 to  God  for  grace,  and  for  every  blessing  I  wanted  for  myself,  my 
 dear  christian  friends,  and  for  the  church  of  God;  and  was  so  ena- 
 bled to  see  Him  who  is  invisible,  that  my  soul  rested  upon  him  for 
 the  performance  of  every  thing  I  asked  agreeable  to  his  will.  It 
 was  then  my  happiness  to  '  continue  instant  in  prayer,'  and  I  was 
 enabled  to  continue  in  it  for  near  an  hour.  My  soul  was  then 
 Strong  in  the  Lord,  and  in  the  power  of  his  might.'  Longed  ex- 
 ceedingly for  an  angelic  holiness  and  purity,  and  to  have  all  my 
 thoughts,  at  all  times,  employed  in  divine  and  heavenly  things. 
 O  how  unspeakably  blessed  it  is,  to  feel  a  measure  of  that  recti- 
 tude, in  which  we  were  at  first  created  !  Felt  the  same  divine  as- 
 sistance in  prayer  sundry  times  in  the  day.  My  soul  confided  in 
 God  for  myself,  and  for  his  Zion  ;  trusted  in  divine  power  and 
 grace,  that  he  would  do  glorious  things  in  his  church  on  earth,  for 
 his  own  glory." 
 
 The  next  day  he  speaks  of  some  glimpses  which  he  had  of  the 
 divine  glories,  and  of  his  being  enabled  to  maintain  his  resolu- 
 tions in  some  measure;  but  complains,  that  he  could  not  draw 
 near  to  God.  He  seems  to  be  filled  with  trembling  fears  lest 
 he  should  return  to  a  life  of  vanity,  to  please  himself  with  some  of 
 the  enjoyments  of  this  lower  world  ;  and  speaks  of  his  being 
 much  troubled,  and  feeling  guilty,  that  he  should  address  immor- 
 tal souls  with  no  more  ardency  and  desire  of  their  salvation.  On 
 Monday,  he  rode  down  to  Stockbridge,  when  he  was  distressed 
 with  extreme  cold ;  but  notwithstanding,  his  mind  was  in  a  devout 
 and  solemn  frame  in  his  journey.  The  four  next  days,  he  was  very 
 ill,  probably  from  the  cold  in  his  journey;  yet  he  spent  the  time 
 
128  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 in  a  solemn  manner.  On  Friday  evening,  he  visited  Mr.  Hop- 
 kins; and  on  Saturday,  rode  eighteen  miles  to  Salisbury,  wh-re 
 he  kept  the  Sabbath,  and  enjoyed  considerable  degrees  of  God's 
 gracious  presence,  assistance  in  duty,  and  divine  comfort  and  re- 
 freshment, longing  to  give'  himself  wholly  to  God,  to  be  his  for- 
 ever. 
 
 Jan.  23.  "I  think  I  never  felt  more  resigned  to  God,  nor  so 
 dead  to  the  world,  in  every  respect,  as  now;  was  dead  to  all 
 desire  of  reputation  and  greatnes-,  either  in  life,  or  after  death; 
 all  I  longed  for,  was  to  be  holy,  humble,  crucified  to  the  world,  Sic. 
 
 Jan.  24.  "Near  noon,  rode  over  to  Canaan.  In  the  evening,! 
 was  unexpectedly  visited  by  a  considerable  number  of  people,  whh 
 whom  I  was  enabled  to  converse  profitably  on  divine  things;  took 
 pains  to  describe  the  difference  between  a  regular  and  irregular 
 SELF-LOVE  ;  the  one  consisting  with  a  supreme  love  to  God,  but  the 
 other  not;  the  former  uniting  God's  glory,  and  the  soul's  happi- 
 ness, that  they  become  one  common  interest,  but  the  latter,  dis- 
 joining and  separating  God's  glory  and  man's  happiness,  seeking 
 the  latter  with  a  neglect  of  the  former.  Illustrated  this  by  that 
 genuine  love  that  is  founded  between  the  sexes;  which  is  diverse 
 from  that  which  is  wrought  up  towards  a  person  only  by  rational 
 argument,  or  hope  of  self-interest.  Love  is  a  pleasing  passion,  it 
 affords  pleasure  to  the  mind  where  it  is;  but  yet,  genuine  love  is 
 not,  nor  can  be  placed  on  any  object  with  that  design  of  pleasure 
 itself.'' 
 
 On  Wednesday  he  rode  to  Sheffield  ;  the  next  day,  to  Stock- 
 bridge  ;  and  on  Saturday,  home  to  Kaunaumeek,  though  the  sea- 
 son was  cold  and  stormy  :  which  journey  was  followed  with  ill- 
 ness and  pain.  It  appears  by  this  diary,  that  he  spent  the  time 
 while  riding,  in  profitable  meditations,  and  in  lifting  up  his  heart 
 to  God;  and  he  speaks  of  assistance,  comfort  and  refreshment; 
 but  still  complains  of  barrenness,  he.  His  diary  for  the^t^e  next 
 days  is  full  of  the  most  heavy,  bitter  complaints ;  and  he  expres- 
 ses himself  as  full  of  shame  and  self-loathing  for  his  lifeless  tem- 
 per of  mind  and  sluggishness  of  spirit,  and  as  being  in  perplexity 
 and  extremity,  and  appearing  to  himself  unspeakably  vile  and 
 guilty  before  God,  on  account  of  some  inward  workings  of  cor- 
 ruption he  found  in  his  heart,  <^c. 
 
 Feb.  2.  "Spent  this  day  in  fasting  and  prayer;  seeking  the 
 presence  and  assistance  of  God,  that  he  would  enable  me  to  over- 
 come all  my  corruptions,  and  spiritual  enemies. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  129 
 
 Feb.  3.  "  Enjoyed  more  freedom  and  comfort  than  of  late ; 
 was  engaged  in  meditation  upon  the  different  whispers  of  the  vari- 
 ous powers  and  affections  of  a  pious  mind,  exercised  with  a  great 
 variety  of  dispensations:  and  could  hut  write,  as  well  as  medi- 
 tate, on  so  entertaining  a  subject.  I  hope  the  Lord  gave  me  some 
 true  sense  of  divine  things  this  day  :  but  alas,  how  great  and  pres- 
 sing are  the  remains  of  indwelling  corruption !  I  am  now  more 
 sensible  than  ever,  that  God  alone  is  'the  author  and  finisher  of 
 our  faith,'  i.  e.  that  the  whole  and  every  part  of  sanctification,  and 
 every  good  word,  work,  or  thought,  found  in  me,  is  the  effect  of 
 his  power  and  grace ;  that  '  without  him  I  can  do  nothing,'  in  the 
 strictest  sense,  and  that,  '  he  works  in  us  to  will  and  to  do  of  his 
 own  good  pleasure,'  and  from  no  other  motive..  O  how  amazing 
 it  is  that  people  can  talk  so  much  about  men's  power  and  good- 
 ness; when  if  God  did  not  hold  us  back  every  moment,  we  should 
 be  devils  incarnate!  This  my  bitter  experience,  for  several  days 
 last  past,  has  abundantly  taught  me  concerning  myself." 
 
 The  writing  here  referred  to  was  the  following.  It  was  found 
 among  his  detached  papers,  and  entitled  by  him  "^i  Scheme  of  a 
 Dialogue,  between  the  various  powers  and  ajfectwas  of  the  mind^ 
 as  they  are  found  alternately  whispering  in  the  Godly  souW'' 
 
 ^^  The  understanding  introduced,  (1)  As  discovering  its  own 
 excellency,  and  capacity  of  enjoying  the  most  sublime  pleasure 
 and  happiness.  (2)  As  observing  its  desire  equal  to  its  capacity, 
 and  incapable  of  being  satisfied  with  any  thing  which  will  not  fill 
 it  to  the  utmost  extent  of  its  exercise.  (3)  As  finding  itself  a  de- 
 pendent thing,  not  self-sufficient;  and  consequently  unable  to  spin 
 happiness,  (as  the  spider  spins  its  web)  out  of  its  own  bowels. 
 This  self-sufficiency  observed  to  be  the  property  a;id  prerogaiive 
 of  God  alone,  and  not  belonging  to  any  created  being.  (4.)  As 
 in  vain  seeking  sublime  pleasure,  satisfaction,  and  happiness  ade- 
 quate to  its  nature,  amongst  created  beings.  The  search  and 
 knowledgf^  of  the  truth  in  the  natural  world  allowed  indeed  to  be 
 refreshing  to  the  mind;  but  still  failing  to  afford  complete  happi- 
 ness. (5)  As  discovering  the  excellency  and  glory  of  Go  I,  tjiat 
 he  is  the  fountain  of  goodness,  and  well-spring  of  happiness,  and 
 every  way  fit  to  answer  the  enlarged  desires  and  cravings  of  our 
 immortal  souls 
 
 2.  The  Will  introduced,  as  necessarily,  yet  freely,  choosing 
 this  God  for  its  supreme  happiness  and  only  portion  ;  fully  com- 
 plying with  the  understanding's  dictates;  acquiescing  in  God  as 
 the  best  good,  in  his  will  as  the  best  rule  for  intelligent  creatures; 
 
 17 
 
130  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 rejoicing  that  God  is  in  every  respect  just  what  he  is ;  and  withal, 
 choosing  and  delighting  to  be  a  dependent  creature,  always  sub- 
 ject to  this  God,  not  aspiring  after  self-sufficiency  and  supremacy, 
 but  acquiescing  in  the  contrary. 
 
 3.  Ardent  Love  introduced,  as  passionately  longing  to  please  and 
 glorify  the  divine  Being,  to  be  in  every  respect  conformed  to 
 him,  and  in  that  way  to  enjoy  him.  This  love  or  desire  repre- 
 sented as  most  genuine;  not  induced  by  mean  and  mercenary 
 views;  not  primarily  springing  from  selfish  hopes  of  salvation, 
 whereby  the  divine  glories  would  be  sacrificed  to  the  idol  self: 
 not  arising  from  a  slavish  fear  of  divine  anger  in  case  of  neglect, 
 nor  yet  from  hopes  of  feeling  the  sweetness  of  that  tender  and 
 pleasant  passion  of  love  in  one's  own  breast,  but  from  a  just 
 esteem  of  the  beauteous  object  beloved.  This  love  further  rep- 
 resented, as  attended  with  vehement  longings  after  the  enjoy- 
 ment of  its  object,  but  unable  to  find  by  what  means. 
 
 4.  ^'' The  understanding  again  introduced,  as  informing,  (1.) 
 How  God  might  have  been  enjoyed,  yea,  how  he  must  necessari- 
 ly have  been  enjoyed,  had  not  man  sinned  against  him  ;  that  as 
 there  was  knowledge^  likeness  and  love,  so  there  must  needs  be 
 enjoyment,  while  there  is  no  impediment.  (2)  How  he  may  be 
 enjoyed  in  some  measure  now,  viz.  by  the  same  knozoledge,  be- 
 getting likeness  and  love,  which  will  be  answered  with  returns  of 
 love,  and  the  smiles  of  God's  countenance,  which  are  better  than 
 life.  (3)  How  God  may  be  perfectly  enjoyed,  viz.  by  the  soul's 
 perfect  freedom  from  sin.  This  perfect  freedom  never  obtained 
 till  death  ;  and  then  not  by  any  unaccountable  means,  or  in  any 
 unheard  of  manner;  but  the  same  by  which  it  has  obtained  some 
 likeness  to  and  fruition  of  God  in  this  woi*ld,  viz,  a  clear  mani- 
 festation of  him. 
 
 5.  '''Holy  Desire  appears  and  enquires  why  the  soul  may  not 
 be  perfectly  holy,  and  so  perfect  in  the  enjoyment  of  God  here  ; 
 and  expresses  most  insatiable  thirstings  after  such  a  temper,  and 
 suclx fruition,  and  most  consummate  blessedness. 
 
 6.  "  Understanding  again  appears,  and  informs,  that  God  de- 
 signs that  those  whom  he  sanctifies  in  part  here,  and  intends  for 
 immortal  glory,  shall  tarry  awhile  in  this  present  evil  world,  that 
 their  own  experience  of  temptations,  &;c.  may  teach  them  how 
 great  the  deliverance  is,  which  God  has  wrought  for  them,  that 
 they  may  be  swallowed  up  in  thankfulness  and  admiration  to  eter- 
 nity ;  as  also  that  they  may  be  instrumental  of  doing  good  to  their 
 fellow  men.  Now  if  they  were  perfectly  holy,  &c.  a  world  of 
 sin  would  not  be  a  fit  habitation  for  them  :  and  further,  such  man- 
 ifestations of  God  as  are  necessary  completely  to  sanctify  the 
 soul,  would  be  insupportable  to  the  body,  so  that  we  cannot  see 
 God  and  live. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  131 
 
 7.  ''^Holy  hnpatience^  is  next  introduced,  complaining  of  the 
 sins  and  sorrows  of  life,  and  almost  repining  at  the  distance  of  a 
 state  of  perfection  ;  uneasy  to  see  and  feel  the  hours  hang  so  dull 
 and  heavy,  and  almost  concluding  that  the  temptations,  hardships, 
 disappointments,  imperfections,  and  tedious  employments  of  life, 
 will  never  come  to  a  happy  period. 
 
 8.  "  Tender  Conscience  comes  in,  and  meekly  reproves  the 
 complaints  of  Impatience-,  urging  how  careful  and  w^atchful  we 
 ought  to  be,  lest  we  should  offend  the  divine  Being  with  com- 
 plaints; alleging  also  the  fitness  of  our  waiting  patiently  upon 
 God  for  all  w^e  want,  and  that  in  a  way  of  doing  and  suffering-, 
 and  at  the  same  time  mentioning  the  barrenness  of  the  soul,  how 
 much  precious  time  is  misimproved,  and  how  httle  it  has  enjoyed 
 of  God,  compared  with  what  it  might  have  done;  as  also  suggest- 
 ing how  frequently  impatient  complaints  spring  from  nothing  bet- 
 ter than  self-love,  want  of  resignation,  and  a  greater  reverence 
 of  the  divine  Being. 
 
 9.  "  Judgment  or  sound  mind  next  appears,  and  duly  weighs 
 the  complaints  of  Impatience  and  the  gentle  admonitions  of  ten- 
 der Conscience^  and  impartially  determines  between  them.  On 
 the  one  hand,  it  concludes,  that  we  may  always  be  impatient  with 
 sin ;  and  supposes  that  we  may  be  also  with  such  sorrow,  pain, 
 and  discouragement,  as  hinder  our  pursuit  of  holiness,  though 
 they  arise  from  the  weakness  of  nature.  It  allows  us  to  be  im- 
 patient of  the  distance  at  which  we  stand  from  a  state  of  perfec- 
 tion and  blessedness.  It  further  indulges  impatience  at  the  delay 
 of  time;  when  we  desire  the  period  of  it  for  no  other  end,  than 
 that  we  may  with  angels  be  employed  in  the  most  lively  spiritual 
 acts  of  devotion,  and  in  giving  all  possible  glory  to  Him  that  lives 
 forever.  With  temptations  and  sinful  imperfections,  it  thinks  we 
 may  justly  be  uneasy ;  and  with  disappointments  also,  at  least 
 those  which  relate  to  our  hopes  of  communion  with  God,  and 
 growing  conformity  to  him.  As  to  the  tedious  employments  and 
 hardships  of  life,  \i  supposes  some  longing  for  the  end  of  them 
 not  inconsistent  with  a  spirit  of  faithfulness,  and  a  cheerful  dispo- 
 sition to  perform  the  one  and  endure  the  other.  It  supposes  that 
 a  faithful  servant,  who  fully  designs  to  do  all  he  possibly  can,  may 
 still  justly  long  for  the  evening  ;  and  that  no  rational  man  would 
 blame  his  kind  and  tender  spouse,  if  he  perceived  her  longing  to 
 be  with  him,  while  yet  faithfulness  and  duty  to  him  might  still  in- 
 duce her  to  yield  for  the  present,  to  remain  at  a  painful  distance 
 from  him.     On  the   other  hand,  it  approves  of  the  caution,  care, 
 
 *  That  is,  more  properly, im/>a/ie/ice  in  a  hohj  soul,  and  in  reference  to  a  holj^  end ; 
 but  impatience  itself  \s  not  holy,  except  we  take  the  term  in  a  less  proper  .si;nse,  as 
 our  author  evidently  does. 
 
132  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 and  watchfulness  of  tender  Conscience,  lest  the  divine  Being  should 
 be  offended  with  impatient  complaints ;  it  acknowledges  the  fit- 
 ness of  our  ivaiting  upon  God,  in  a  way  of  patient  doing  and  suf- 
 fering; but  supposes  this  very  consistent  with  ardent  desires  to  de- 
 part, and  to  be  with  Christ.  It  owns  it  fit  that  we  should  always 
 remember  our  own  barrenness,  and  thinks  also  that  we  should  be 
 impatient  of  it,  and  consequently  long  for  a  .^tate  of  freedom  from 
 it;  and  this,  not  so  much  that  we  may  feel  the  happiness  of  it,  but 
 that  God  may  have  the  glory.  It  grants,  that  impatient  com- 
 plaints often  spring  from  self-love,  and  want  of  resignation  and  hu- 
 mility. Such  as  these  it  disapproves  :  and  determines  we  should 
 be  impatient  only  of  absence  from  God,  and  distance  from  that 
 state  and  temper  wherein  we  may  most  glorify  him. 
 
 10.  "  Godly  Sorrow  introduced,  as  making  her  sad  moan,  not 
 so  much  that  she  is  kept  from  the  free  possession  and  full  enjoy- 
 ment of  happiness,  but  that  God  must  be  dishonoured;  the  soul 
 beint:  still  in  a  world  of  sin,  and  itself  imperfect.  She  here,  with 
 grief  counts  over  past  faults,  present  temptations,  and  fears  from 
 the  future. 
 
 11.  "  Hope  or  holy  Confidence  appears,  and  seems  persuaded 
 that '  nothing  shall  ever  separate  the  soul  from  the  love  of  God 
 in  Christ  Jesus.'  It  expects  divine  assistance  and  grace  sufficient 
 for  all  the  doing  and  suffering  work  of  time,  and  that  death  will 
 evQ  long  put  a  happy  period  to  all  sin  and  sorrow  ;  and  so  takes 
 occasion  to  rejoice. 
 
 12.  '"''Godly  Fear,  or  holy  Jealousy  here  steps  in,  and  suggests 
 som(:  timorous  apprehensions  of  the  danger  of  deception;  men- 
 tions the  deceitfulness  of  the  heart,  the  great  influence  of  irregular 
 self  love  in  a  fallen  creature;  inquires  whether  itself  is  not  likely 
 to  have  fallen  in  with  delusion,  since  the  mind  is  so  dark,  and  so 
 litlle  of  God  appears  to  the  soul  :  and  queries  whether  all  its 
 hopes  of  persevering  grace  may  not  be  presumption,  and  wheth- 
 er its  confident  expectations  of  meeting  death  as  a  friend,  may 
 not  issqe  in  disappointment. 
 
 13.  "  Hereupon  Reflection  appears,  and  reminds  the  person  of 
 his  past  experiences ;  as  to  the  preparatory  work  of  conviction 
 and  humiliation  ;  the  view  he  then  had  of  the  impossibility  of 
 salvation,  from  himself  or  any  created  arm  ;  the  manifestation 
 he  has  likewise  had  of  the  glory  of  God  in  Jesus  Christ;  how  he 
 then  admired  that  glory,  and  chose  that  God  for  his  only  portion, 
 because  of  the  excellency  and  amiableness  he  discovered  in  him; 
 not  from  slavish  fear  of  being  damned,  if  he  did  not,  nor  from 
 base  and  mercenary  hopes  of  saving  himself;  but  from  a  just  es- 
 teem of  that  beauteous  and  glorious  object;  as  also  how  he  had 
 from  lime  (o  time  rejoiced  and  acquiesced  in    God  for  what  he  is 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  133 
 
 in  himself;  being  delighted,  that  he  is  infinite  in  holiness,  ins- 
 tice,  power,  and  sovereignty,  as  well  as  in  mercy,  goodness,  and 
 love  ;  how  he  has  likewise,  scores  of  times,  felt  his  soul  mourn 
 for  sin,  for  this  very  reason,  because  it  is  contrary  an-i  grievous  to 
 God;  yea,  how  he  has  mourned  over  one  vain  and  impertinent 
 thought,  when  he  has  been  so  far  from  fear  of  the  divine  vin- 
 dictive wrath  for  it,  that  on  the  contrary  he  has  enjoyed  the  high- 
 est assurance  of  the  divine  everlasting  love  :  how  he  has,  from 
 time  to  time,  delighted  in  the  commands  of  God,  for  their  own 
 purity  and  perfection,  and  longed  exceedingly  to  be  conformed 
 to  them,  and  even  to  be  'holy,  as  God  is  holy  ;'  and  counted  it 
 present  heaven,  to  be  of  a  heavenly  temper;  how  he  has  fre- 
 quently rejoiced,  to  think  of  being  forever  subject  to,  and  depen- 
 dent on,  God  ;  accounting  it  infinitely  greater  happiness  to  glori- 
 fy God  in  a  state  of  subjection  to,  and  dependence  on  him,  than 
 to  be  a  god  himself:  and  how  heaven  itself  would  be  no  heaven 
 to  him,  if  he  could  not  there  be  every  thing  that  God  would  have 
 him  be. 
 
 14.  "  Upon  this  spiritual  Sensation^  being  awaked,  comes  in 
 and  declares,  that  she  now  feels  and  '  tastes  that  the  Lord  is  gra- 
 cious ;'  that  he  is  the  only  supreme  good,  the  only  soul  satisfying 
 happiness ;  that  he  is  a  complete,  W.lf-suflicient,  and  almighty 
 portion.  She  whispers,  'Whom  have  1  in  heaven  but  this  God,' 
 this  dear  and  blessed  portion  ?  '  and  there  is  none  upon  earth  I  de- 
 sire beside  him.'  O  it  is  heaven,  to  please  him,  and  to  be  just 
 what  he  would  have  me  be  !  Oh  that  my  soul  were  '  holy,  as  God 
 is  holy  !'  Oh  that  it  were  '  pure,  as  Christ  is  pure  ;'  and  '  perfect, 
 as  my  Father  in  heaven  is  perfect !'  These  are  the  sweetest  com- 
 mands in  God's  book,  comprising  all  others;  and  shall  I  break 
 them  ?  must  I  break  them  ?  am  I  under  a  fatal  necessity  of  it,  as 
 long  as  1  live  in  this  world  ?  O  my  soul!  wo,  wo  is  me,  that  I  am 
 a  sinner!  because  I  now  necessarily  grieve  and  offend  this  blessed 
 God,  who  is  infinite  in  goodness  and  grace.  O  methinks,  should 
 he  punish  me  for  my  sins,  it  Mould  not  wound  my  heart  so  deep 
 as  to  offend  him;  but,  though  I  sin  continually,  he  continually  re- 
 peats his  kindness  towards  me  !  O  methinks,  I  could  bear  any 
 suffering;  but  how  can  I  bear  to  grieve  and  dishonour  this  bles- 
 sed God  !  How  shall  I  give  ten  thousand  times  more  honour  to 
 him  ?  What  shall  1  do,  to  glorify  and  worship  this  best  of  beings  ? 
 Oh  that  I  could  consecrate  myself,  soul  and  body,  to  his  service 
 for  ever !  Oh  that  1  could  give  up  myself  to  him,  so  as  never 
 more  to  attempt  to  be  my  own,  or  to  have  any  will  or  affections 
 that  are  not  perfectly  conformed  to  his  !  But  O  alas,  alas  !  I  can- 
 not, I  feel  1  cannot,  be  thus  entirely  devoted  to  God  !  I  cannot 
 live  and  sin  not.  O  ye  angels,  do  ye  glorify  him  incessantly;  if 
 possible,  exert  yourselves  still   more,   in  more  lively  and  ardent 
 
134  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 devotion  ;  if  possible,  prostrate  yourselves  still  lower  before  the 
 throne  of  the  blessed  King  of  heaven.  I  long  to  bear  a  part 
 with  you.  and  if  it  were  possible,  to  help  you.  Yet  when  we 
 have  done,  we  shall  not  be  able  to  offer  the  ten  thousandth  part 
 of  the  homage  he  is  worthy  of.  While  Spiritual  Sensation  whis- 
 pered these  things,  Fear  and  Jealousy  were  greatly  overcome  ;  and 
 the  soul  replied,  'Now  I  know  and  am  assured,'  he,  and  again, 
 it  welcomed  death  as  a  friend,  saying,  '  O  death  where  is  thy 
 sting !'  k,Q, 
 
 15.  "  Finally,  holy  Resolution  concludes  the  discourse,  fixedly 
 determining  to  follow  hard  after  God,  and  continually  to  pursue 
 a  life  of  conformity  to  him  ;  and  the  better  to  pursue  this,  enjoin- 
 ing it  on  the  soul  always  to  remember,  that  God  is  the  only  source 
 of  happiness;  that  his  will  is  the  only  rule  of  rectitude  to  an  in- 
 telligent creature;  that  earth  has  nothing  in  it  desirable  for  itself, 
 or  any  further  than  God  is  seen  in  it;  and  that  the  knowledge  of 
 God  in  Christ,  begetting  and  maintaining  love,  and  mortifying 
 sensual  and  lieshly  appetites,  is  the  way  to  be  holy  on  earth,  and 
 so  to  be  attempered  to  the  complete  holiness  of  the  heavenly 
 world." 
 
 Feb.  4.  "  Enjoyed  some  degree  of  freedom  and  spiritual  re- 
 freshment; was  enabled  to  pray  with  some  fervency,  and  longing 
 desires  of  Zion's  prosperity,  and  my  faith  and  hope  seemed  to 
 take  hold  of  God,  for  the  performance  of  what  I  was  enabled  to 
 plead  for.  Sanctification  in  myself,  and  the  ingathering  of  God's 
 elect,  were  all  my  desire;  and  the  hope  of  their  accomplishment, 
 all  my  joy. 
 
 Lord'^s  day,  Feb,  5.  "  Was  enabled  in  some  measure  to  rest 
 and  confide  in  God,  and  to  prize  his  presence  and  some  glimpses 
 of  the  light  of  his  countenance,  above  my  necessary  food. — 
 Thought  myself,  after  the  season  of  weakness,  temptation,  and 
 desertion  I  endured  the  last  week,  to  be  somewhat  like  Sampson, 
 when  his  locks  began  to  grow  again.  Was  enabled  to  preach  to 
 ny  people  with  more  life  and  warmth,  than  I  have  for  some 
 weeks  past. 
 
 Feb.  6.  "  This  morning,  my  soul  again  was  strengthened  in 
 God,  and  found  some  sweet  repose  in  him  in  prayer;  longing  es- 
 pecially for  the  complete  mortification  of  sensuality  and  pride, 
 and  for  resignation  to  God's  dispensations,  at  all  times,  as  through 
 grace,  I  felt  it  at  this  time.  I  did  not  desire  deliverance  from  any 
 difficulty  that  attends  my  circumstances,  unless  God  was  willing. 
 O  how  comfortable  is  this  temper  !  Spent  most  of  the  day  in  read- 
 ing God's  word,  in  writing,  and  prayer.  Enjoyed  repeated  and 
 frequent  comfort  and  intenseness  of  soul  in   prayer  through   the 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  135 
 
 day.  In  the  evening,  spent  some  hours  in  private  conversation 
 with  my  people;  and  afterwards,  feh  some  warmth  in  secret 
 prayer. 
 
 Feb.  7.  "  Was  much  engaged  in  some  sweet  meditations  on 
 the  powers  and  affections  of  the  godly  soul  in  the  pursuit  of  their 
 beloved  object ;  wrote  something  of  the  native  language  of  spir- 
 itual sensation,  in  its  soft  and  tender  whispers ;  declaring,  that  it 
 now  '  feels  and  tastes,  that  the  Lord  is  gracious ;  that  he  is  the 
 supreme  good,  the  only  soul  satisfying  happiness  :  that  he  is  a 
 complete,  sufficient,  and  almighty  portion  :  saying, 
 
 *  Whom  have  I  in  Heaven  but  thee  ?  and  there  is  none  upon  earth 
 that  I  desire  beside  this  blessed  portion.  O,  I  feel  that  it  is  hea- 
 ven to  please  him,  and  to  be  just  what  he  would  have  me  to  be ! 
 Oh  that  my  soul  were  holy,  as  he  is  holy !  Oh  that  it  were  pure^ 
 even  as  Christ  is  pure  ;  and  perfect  as  my  Father  in  heaven  is  per- 
 fect !  These  I  feel  are  the  sweetest  commands  in  God's  book, 
 comprising  all  others.  And  shall  I  break  them!  must  I  break 
 them  !  am  I  under  the  necessity  of  it  as  long  as  I  live  in  the 
 world!  Omy  soul,  wo,  wo  is  me,  that  I  am  a  sinner,  because  I 
 now  necessarily  grieve  and  offend  this  blessed  God,  who  is  infi- 
 nite in  goodness  and  grace !  O  methinks  if  he  would  punish  me 
 for  my  sins,  it  would  not  wound  my  heart  so  deep  to  offend  him: 
 but  though  I  sin  continually,  yet  he  continually  repeats  his  kind- 
 ness to  me  !  O  methinks  I  could  bear  any  sufferings;  but  how  can 
 I  bear  to  grieve  and  dishonour  this  blessed  God !  How  shall  I 
 yield  ten  thousand  times  more  honour  to  him  ?  What  shall  I  do 
 to  glorify  and  worship  this  best  of  beings?  Oh  that  I  could  conse- 
 crate myself,  soul  and  body,  to  his  service  forever !  Oh  that  I 
 could  give  up  myself  to  him,  so  as  never  more  to  attempt  to  be 
 my  own,  or  to  have  any  will  or  affections  that  are  not  perfectly 
 conformed  to  him  !  But,  alas,  alas !  I  find  I  cannot  be  thus  entire- 
 ly devoted  to  God ;  1  cannot  live,  and  not  sin.  O  ye  angels,  do 
 ye  glorify  him  incessantly  ;  and  if  possible,  prostrate  yourselves 
 lower  before  the  blessed  King  of  heaven  !  I  long  to  bear  a  part 
 with  you  ;  and,  if  it  were  possible,  to  help  you.  O  when  we 
 have  done  all  that  we  can,  to  all  eternity,  we  shall  not  be  able  to 
 offer  the  ten  thousandth  part  of  the  homage  which  the  glorious 
 God  deserves !' 
 
 "  Felt  something  spiritual,  devout,  resigned,  and  mortified  to 
 the  world,  much  of  the  day ;  and  especially  towards  and  in  the 
 evening.  Blessed  be  God,  that  he  enables  me  to  love  him  for 
 himself. 
 
 Feb,  8.  "  Was  in  a  comfortable  frame  of  soul,  most  of  the 
 day  ;  though  sensible  of,  and  restless  under,  spiritual  barrenness. 
 I  find  that  both  mind  and  body  are  quickly  tired  with  intenseness 
 
136  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 and  fervour  in  the  things  of  God.     Oh  that  I  could  be  as  inces- 
 sant as  angels  in  devotion  and  spiritual  fervour. 
 
 Feb,  9.  '*  Observed  this  day  as  a  day  of  fasting  and  prayer, 
 intreating  of  God  to  bestow  upon  me  his  blessing  and  grace  ;  es- 
 pecially to  enable  me  to  live  a  life  of  mortification  to  the  world, 
 as  well  as  of  resignation  and  patience.  Enjoyed  some  realizing 
 sense  of  divine  power  and  goodness  in  prayer,  several  times  ;  and 
 was  enabled  to  roll  the  burden  of  myself,  and  friends,  and  Zion, 
 upon  the  goodness  and  grace  of  God ;  but,  in  the  general,  was 
 more  dry  and  barren  than  I  have  usually  been  of  late,  upon  such 
 occasions. 
 
 Feb,  10.  "Was  exceedingly  oppressed,  most  of  the  day,  with 
 shame,  grief,  and  fear,  under  a  sense  of  my  past  folly,  as  well  as 
 present  barrenness  and  coldness.  When  God  sets  before  me  my 
 past  misconduct,  especially  any  instances  of  misguided  zeal,  it 
 sinks  my  soul  into  shame  and  confusion,  makes  me  afraid  of  a 
 shaking  leaf.  My  fear  is  such  as  the  prophet  Jeremy  complains 
 of,  Jer.  XX.  10.  I  have  no  confidence  to  hold  up  my  face,  even 
 before  my  fellow  worms  ;  but  only  when  my  soul  confides  in  God, 
 and  I  find  the  sweet  temper  of  Christ,  the  spirit  of  humility,  so- 
 lemnity and  mortification,  and  resignation,  alive  in  my  soul.  But, 
 in  the  evening,  was  unexpectedly  refreshed  in  pouring  out  my 
 complaint  to  God;  my  shame  and  fear  was  turned  into  a  sweet 
 composure  and  acquiescence  in  God. 
 
 Feb,  11.  "  Felt  much  as  yesterday  :  enjoyed  but  little  sensible 
 communion  with  God. 
 
 Lord'^s  day,  Feb.  12.  "  My  soul  seemed  to  confide  in  God,  and 
 to  repose  itself  on  him ;  and  had  intense  longings  after  God  in 
 prayer.  Enjoyed  some  divine  assistance,  in  the  forenoon,  in 
 preaching;  but  in  the  afternoon,  was  more  perplexed  with  shame, 
 &LC,  Afterwards,  found  some  relief  in  prayer;  loved,  as  a  fee- 
 ble, afflicted,  despised  creature,  to  cast  myself  on  a  God  of  infi- 
 nite grace  and  goodness,  hoping  for  no  happiness  but  from  him. 
 
 Feb,  13.  ''Was  calm  and  sedate  in  morning  devotions;  and 
 my  soul  seemed  to  rely  on  God.  Rode  to  Stockbridge,  and  en- 
 joyed some  comfortable  meditations  by  the  way ;  had  a  more  re- 
 freshing taste  and  relish  of  heavenly  blessedness,  than  I  have  en- 
 joyed for  many  months  past.  I  have  many  times,  of  late,  felt  as 
 ardent  desires  of  holirjess  as  ever ;  but  not  so  much  sense  of  the 
 sweetness  and  unspeakable  pleasure  of  the  enjoyments  and  em- 
 ployments of  heaven.  My  soul  longed  to  leave  earth,  and  bear 
 a  part  with  angels  in  their  celestial  employments.  My  soul  said, 
 •  Lord  it  is  good  to  be  here  ;"  and  it  appeared  to  be  better  to  die. 
 than  to  lose  the  relish  of  these  heavenly  delights.'' 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  137 
 
 A  sense  of  divine  things  seemed  to  continue  with  hinr),  in  a  les- 
 ser degree,  through  the  next  day.  On  Wednesday^  he  was,  by 
 some  discourse  which  he  heard,  cast  into  a  melancholy  gloom,  that 
 operated  much  in  the  same  manner  as  his  melancholy  had  for- 
 merly done,  when  he  came  first  to  Kaunaumeek ;  the  effects  of 
 which  seemed  to  continue  in  some  degree  the  six  following  days, 
 
 Feb,  22.  "  In  the  morning,  had  as  clear  a  sense  of  the  ex- 
 ceeding pollution  of  my  nature,  as  ever  I  remember  to  have  had 
 in  my  life.  I  then  appeared  to  myself  inexpressibly  loathsome 
 and  defiled.  Sins  of  childhood,  of  early  youth,  and  such  folhes 
 as  I  had  not  thought  of  for  years  togethe?,  as  I  remember,  came 
 now  fresh  to  my  view,  as  if  committed  but  yesterday,  and  appear- 
 ed in  the  most  odious  colours ;  they  appeared  more  in  number 
 than  the  hairs  of  my  head  ;  yea,  they  '  went  over  my  head  as  a 
 heavy  burden.'  In  the  evening,  the  hand  of  faith  seemed  to  be 
 strengthened  in  God ;  my  soul  seemed  to  rest  and  acquiesce  in 
 him  ;  was  supported  under  my  burdens,  readuig  the  cxxvtb  psalm-, 
 and  found  that  it  was  sweet  and  comfortable  to  lean  on  God. 
 
 Feb*  23.  "  Was  frequent  in  prayer,  and  enjoyed  some  assist- 
 ance.— There  is  a  God  in  heaven  who  over-rules  all  things  for 
 the  best;  and  this  is  the  comfort  of  my  soul:  '"  I  had  fainted  un- 
 less I  had  believed  to  see  the  goodness  of  God  in  the  land  of  the 
 living,"  notwithstanding  present  sorrows. — la  the  evening  enjoy- 
 ed some  freedom  in  prayer,  for  myself,  friends,  and  the  church 
 of  God. 
 
 Feb,  24.  "  Was  exceedingly  restless  and  perplexed  under  a 
 sense  of  mis-improvement  of  time  ;  mourned  to  see  time  pass 
 away  ;  felt  in  the  greatest  hurry  ;  seemed  to  have  every  thing  to 
 do:  yet  could  do  nothing,  but  only  grieve  and  groan  under  my 
 ignorance,  unprofitableness,  meanness,  the  foolishness  of  my 
 actions  and  thoughts,  the  pride  and  bitterness  of  some  pa^t 
 frames,  all  which  at  this  time  appeared  to  me  in  lively  colours, 
 and  filled  me  with  shame.  I  could  not  compose  my  ;nind  to  any 
 profitable  studies,  by  reason  of  this  pressure.  And  the  reason, 
 I  judge,  why  I  am  not  allowed  to  study  a  great  part  of  my  time, 
 is,  because  I  am  endeavouring  to  lay  in  such  a  stock  of  knowled^ire 
 as  shall  be  a  self- sufficiency, — 1  know  it  to  be  my  indispensable 
 duty  to  study,  and  qualify  myself  in  the  best  manner  I  can  for 
 public  service  :  but  this  is  my  misery,  I  naturally  study  and  pre- 
 pare, that  I  may  "  consume  it  upon  my  lusts"  of  pride  and  self- 
 confidence." 
 
 He  continued  in  much  the  same  frame  of  uneasiness  at  the  mis- 
 improvement  of  time,  and   pressure   of  spirit  under  a  sense  of 
 
 18 
 
138  '  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 vileness,  unprofitableness,  <Sz;c.  for  the  six  following  days^  except- 
 ing some  intervals  of  calmness  and  composure,  in  resignation  to, 
 and  confidence  in  God. 
 
 March  2.  "  Was  most  of  the  day  employed  in  writing  on  a 
 divine  subject.  Was  frequent  in  prayer,  and  enjoyed  some  small 
 degree  of  assistance.  But  in  the  evening,  God  was  pleased  to 
 grant  me  divine  sweetness  in  prayer ;  especially  in  the  duty  of 
 intercession.  I  think,  I  never  felt  so  much  kindness  and  love  to 
 those  who,  I  have  reason  to  think,  are  my  enemies — though  at 
 that  time  I  found  such  a  disposition  to  think  the  best  of  all, 
 that  I  scarce  knew  how  to  think  that  any  such  thing  as  enmity 
 and  hatred  lodged  in  my  soul  ;  it  seemed  as  if  all  the  world 
 must  needs  be  friends — and  never  prayed  with  more  freedom  and 
 delight,  for  myself,  or  dearest  friend,  than  I  did  now  for  my  en- 
 emies. 
 
 March  3.  "  In  the  morning,  spent  (I  believe)  an  hour  in 
 prayer,  with  great  intenseness  and  freedom,  and  with  the  most 
 soft  and  tender  affection  towards  mankind.  I  longed  that  those 
 who,  I  have  reason  to  think,  owe  me  ill  will,  might  be  eternally 
 happy.  It  seemed  refreshing  to  think  of  meeting  them  in  heaven, 
 how  much  soever  they  had  injured  me  on  earth  :  had  no  disposi- 
 tion to  insist  upon  any  confession  from  them,  in  order  to  reconcil- 
 iation, and  the  exercise  of  love  and  kindness  to  them.  O  it  is 
 an  emblem  of  heaven  itself,  to  love  all  the  world  with  a  love  of 
 kindness,  forgiveness,  and  benevolence  ;  to  feel  our  souls  sedate, 
 mild  and  meek  ;  to  be  void  of  all  evil  surmisings  and  suspicions, 
 and  scarce  able  to  think  evil  of  any  man  upon  any  occasion  ;  to 
 find  our  hearts  simple,  open,  and  free,  to  those  that  look  upon  us 
 with  a  ditTerent  eye! — Prayer  was  so  sweet  an  exercise  to  me, 
 that  I  knew  not  how  to  cease,  lest  I  should  loose  the  spirit  of 
 prayer.  Felt  no  disposition  to  eat  or  drink,  for  the  sake  of  the 
 pleasure  of  it,  but  only  to  support  my  nature,  and  fit  me  for  di- 
 vine service.  Could  not  be  content  without  a  very  particular 
 mention  of  a  great  number  of  dear  friends  at  the  throne  of  grace; 
 as  also  the  particular  circumstances  of  many,  so  far  as  they  were 
 known. 
 
 •  Lordfs  day^  March  4.  "  In  the  morning,  enjoyed  the  same  in- 
 tenseness in  prayer  as  yesterday  morning,  though  not  in  so  great 
 a  degree  :  felt  the  same  spirit  of  love,  universal  benevolence, 
 forgiveness,  humility,  resignation,  mortification  to  the  world,  and 
 composure  of  mind,  as  then.  My  soul  rested  in  God;  and  I  found 
 I  wanted  no  other  refuge  or  friend.  While  my  soul  thus  trusts  in 
 God.  all  things  seem  to  be  at  peace  with  me,  even  the  stones  of 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  159 
 
 the  earth  :  but  when  I  cannot  apprehend  and  confide  in  God,  all 
 things  appear  with  a  different  aspect." 
 
 Through  the  fotir  next  days,  he  complains  of  barrenness,  want 
 of  holy  confidence  in  God,  stupidity,  wanderings  of  mind,  &c.  and 
 speaks  of  oppression  of  mind  under  a  sense  of  exceeding  mean- 
 ness, past  foihes,  as  well  as  present  workings  of  corruption.  On 
 Friday,  he  seems  to  have  been  restored  to  a  considerable  degree 
 of  the  same  excellent  frame,  which  he  enjoyed  the  Saturday  be- 
 fore. 
 
 March  10.  "  In  the  morning,  felt  exceeding  dead  to  the 
 world,  and  all  its  enjoyments.  1  thought  I  was  ready  and  willing 
 to  give  up  life  and  all  its  comfort?,  as  soon  as  called  to  it;  and 
 yet  then  had  as  much  comfort  of  life  as  almost  ever  I  had.  Life 
 itself  now  appeared  but  an  empty  bubble;  the  riches,  honours, 
 and  common  enjoyments  of  life  appeared  extremely  tasteless.  1 
 longed  to  be  perpetually  and  entirely  crucijied  to  all  things  here 
 below,  by  the  cross  of  Christ.  My  soul  was  sweetly  resigned  to 
 God's  disposal  of  me,  in  every  regard ;  and  I  saw  that  nothing 
 had  happened  but  what  was  best  for  me.  I  confided  in  God,  that 
 he  would  never  leave  me,  though  I  should  "  walk  through  the  val- 
 ley of  the  shadow  of  death."  It  was  then  my  meat  and  drink  to 
 he  holy,  to  live  to  the  Lord,  and  die  to  the  Lord.  And  I  thought 
 that  I  then  enjoyed  such  a  heaven,  as  far  exceeded  the  most  sub- 
 lime conceptions  of  an  unregenerate  soul  ;  and  even  unspeakablv 
 beyond  what  I  myself  could  conceive  of  at  another  time.  I  did 
 not  wonder  that  Peter  said,  "  Lord,  it  is  good  to  be  here,"  when 
 thus  refreshed  with  divine  glories.  My  soul  was  full  of  love  and 
 tenderness  in  the  duty  of  intercession  ;  especially  felt  a  most 
 sweet  affection  to  some  precious  godly  ministers,  of  my  acquaint- 
 ance. Prayed  earnestly  for  dear  Christians,  and  for  those  I  have 
 reason  to  fear  are  my  enemies  ;  and  could  not  have  spoken  a 
 word  of  bitterness,  or  entertained  a  bitter  thought,  against  the 
 vilest  man  living.  Had  a  sense  of  my  own  great  unworthiness. 
 My  soul  seemed  to  breathe  forth  love  and  praise  to  God  afresh, 
 when  I  thought  he  would  let  his  children  love  and  receive  me  as 
 one  of  their  brethren  and  fellow  citizens.  When  I  thought  of 
 their  treating  me  in  that  manner,  I  longed  to  lie  at  their  het ;  and 
 could  think  of  no  way  to  express  the  sincerity  and  simplicity  of 
 my  love  and  esteem  of  them,  as  being  much  better  than  myself. 
 Towards  night,  was  very  sorrowful  ;  seemed  to  myself  the  worst 
 creature  living  ;  and  could  not  pray,  nor  meditate,  nor  think  of 
 holding  up  my  face  before  the  world. — Was  a  little  relieved  in 
 prayer,  in  the  evening  ;  but  longed  to  get  on  my  knees,  and  ask 
 
140  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD, 
 
 forgiveness  of  every  body  that  ever  had  seen  any  thing  amiss  in 
 my  past  conduct,  especially  in  my  religious  zeal.  Was  afterwards 
 much  perplexed,  so  that  1  could  not  sleep  quietly. 
 
 Lord^s  day^  March  11."  My  soul  was  in  some  measure  strength- 
 ened in  God,  in  morning  devotion :  so  that  I  was  released  from 
 trembling  fear  and  distress.  Preached  to  my  people  from  the 
 parable  of  the  sower,  Matth.  xiii.  and  enjoyed  some  assistance, 
 both  parts  of  the  day  ;  had  some  freedom,  affection,  and  fervency 
 in  addressing  my  poor  people  ;  longed  that  God  should  take  hold 
 of  their  hearts,  and  make  them  spiritually  alive.  And  indeed  I 
 had  so  much  to  say  to  them,  that  I  knew  not  how  to  leave  off 
 speaking." 
 
 This  was  the  last  Sabbath  in  which  he  ever  performed  public 
 service  at  Kaunaumeek,  and  these  the  last  sermons  which  he  ev- 
 er preached  there.  It  appears  by  his  diary,  that  while  he  contin- 
 ued with  these  Indians,  he  took  great  pains  with  them,  and  did  it 
 witli  much  discretion  ;  but  the  particular  manner  how,  has  been 
 omitted  for  brevity's  sake. 
 
 March  12.  "  In  ihe  morning,  was  in  a  devout,  tender,  and  lov- 
 ing frame  of  mind  ;  and  was  enabled  to  cry  to  God,  I  hope,  with  a 
 child-like  spirit,  with  importunity,  resignation,  and  composure  of 
 mind.  My  spirit  was  full  of  quietness,  and  love  to  mankind  ;  and 
 longed  that  peace  should  reign  on  the  earth  ;  was  grieved  at  the 
 very  thoughts  of  a  Jiery,  angry,  and  intemperate  zeal  in  religion  ; 
 mourned  overpast  follies  in  that  regard  ;  and  confided  in  God  for 
 strength  and  grace  sufficient  for  my  future  work  and  trials.  Spent 
 the  day  mainly  in  hard  labour,  making  preparation  for  my  intend- 
 ed journey. 
 
 March  13.  "  Felt  my  soul  going  forth  after  God  sometimes  ; 
 but  not  with  such  ardency  as  I  desired.  In  the  evening,  was  en- 
 abled to  continue  instant  in  prayer,  for  some  considerable  time 
 together  ;  and  especially  had  respect  to  the  journey  I  designed  to 
 enter  upon,  with  the  leave  of  divine  providence,  on  the  morrow. 
 Enjoyed  some  freedom  and  fervency,  intreating  that  the  divine 
 presence  might  attend  me  in  every  place  where  my  business  might 
 lead  me;  and  had  a  particular  reference  to  the  trials  and  temp- 
 tations to  which  I  apprehend  I  might  be  more  eminently  exposed 
 in  particular  places.  Was  strengthened  and  comforted  ;  although 
 I  was  before  very  weary.  Truly  the  jo^  of  the  Lord  is  strength 
 and  life, 
 
 March  14.  "  Enjoyed  some  intenseness  of  soul  in  prayer,  re- 
 peating my  petitions  for  God's  presence  in  every  place  where  I 
 expected  to  be  in  my  journey.     Besought  the  Lord  that  I  might 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  141 
 
 not  be  too  much  pleased  and  amused  with  dear  friends  and  ac- 
 quaintance, in  one  place  and  another.  Near  ten,  set  out  on  my 
 journey  ;  and  near  night  came  to  Stockbridge. 
 
 March  15.  Rode  down  to  Sheffield.  Here  I  met  a  messen- 
 ger from  East  Hampton  on  Long-Island  ;  who,  by  the  unanimous  . 
 vote  of  that  large  town,  was  sent  to  invite  me  thither,  in  order  to' 
 settle  with  that  people,  where  I  had  been  before  frequently  invi- 
 ted. Seemed  more  at  a  loss  what  was  my  duty,  than  before  ;  when 
 I  heard  of  the  great  difficulties  of  that  place,  I  was  much  concern- 
 ed and  grieved,  and  felt  some  desire  to  comply  with  their  re- 
 quest; but  knew  not  what  to  do:  endeavoured  to  commit  the 
 case  to  God." 
 
 The  two  next  days,  he  went  no  further  than  Salisbury,  being 
 much  hindered  by  the  rain.  When  he  came  there,  he  was  much 
 indisposed.  He  speaks  of  comfortable  and  profitable  conversa- 
 tion with  Christian  friends,  on  these  days. 
 
 Lord^s  day,  March  18.  "  [At  Salisbury.]  Was  exceeding  weak 
 and  faint,  so  that  I  could  scarce  walk :  but  God  was  pleased  to 
 afford  me  much  freedom,  clearness,  and  fervency  in  preaching: 
 I  have  not  had  the  like  assistance  in  preaching  to  sinners  for  many 
 months  past.  Here  another  messenger  met  me,  and  informed  me 
 of  the  vote  of  another  congregation,  to  give  me  an  invitation  to  ^ 
 come  among  them  upon  probation,  for  settlements!^  Was  some- 
 what exercised  in  mind  with  a  weight  and  burden  of  care.  Oh 
 that  God  would  "send  forth  faithful  labourers  into  his  harvest!" 
 
 After  this  he  went  forward  on  his  journey  towards  New- York 
 and  New-Jersey  :  in  which  he  proceeded  slowly  ;  performing 
 his  journey  under  great  degrees  of  bodily  indisposition.  Howev- 
 er, he  preached  several  times  by  the  way,  being  urged  by  friends, 
 in  which  he  had  considerable  assistance.  He  speaks  of  comfort 
 in  conversation  with  Christian  friends,  from  time  to  time,  and  of 
 various  things  in  the  exercises  and  frames  of  his  heart,  which 
 shew  much  of  a  divine  influence  on  his  mind  in  this  journey  :  but 
 yet  complains  of  the  things  that  he  feared,  viz.  a  decline  of  his 
 spiritual  life,  or  vivacity  in  religion,  by  means  of  his  constant  re- 
 moval from  place  to  place,  and  want  of  retirement;  and  com- 
 plains bitterly  of  his  unworthiness,  deadness,  &;c.  He  came  to 
 New-York  on  Wednesday,  March  28,  and  to  Elizabeth-Town  on 
 the  Saturday  following,  where  it  seems  he  waited  till  the  commis- 
 sioners came  together. 
 
 *  This  con^egation  was  that  at  Millington,  near  Haddam.  They  were  very  ear- 
 aestly  desirous  of  his  coming  among  tlSSttrr 
 
142  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 April  5.  "  Was  again  much  exercised  with  weakness,  and 
 with  pain  in  my  head.  Attended  on  the  commissioners  in  their 
 meeting.!  Resolved  to  go  on  still  with  the  Indian  aifair,  if  divine 
 providence  permitted  ;  although  1  had  before  felt  some  inclina- 
 tion to  go  to  East-Hampton,  where  I  was  solicited  to  go." 
 
 By  the  invitations  which  Brainerd  had  lately  received,  it  ap- 
 pears, that  it  was  not  from  necessity,  or  for  want  of  opportunities 
 to  settle  in  the  ministry  amongst  the  English,  notwithstanding  the 
 disgrace  he  had  been  laid  under  at  college,  that  he  was  deter- 
 mined to  forsake  all  the  outward  comforts  to  be  enjoyed  in  the 
 Enu'ish  settlements,  to  go  and  spend  his  life  among  the  savages^ 
 and  endure  the  difficulties  and  self-denials  of  an  Indian  mission. 
 He  had,  just  as  he  was  leaving  Kaunaumeek,  had  an  earnest  in- 
 vitation to  a  settlement  at  East-Hampton  on  Long-Island,  the 
 fairest,  pleasantest  town  on  the  whole  island,  and  one  of  its  larg- 
 est and  most  wealthy  parishes.  The  people  there  were  unani- 
 mous in  their  desires  to  have  him  for  their  pastor,  and  for  a  long 
 time  continued  in  an  earnest  pursuit  of  what  they  desired,  and 
 were  hardly  brought  to  relinquish  their  endeavours,  and  give  up 
 their  hopes  of  obtaining  him.  Besides,  the  invitation  which  he 
 had  to  Millington,  was  near  his  native  town,  and  in  the  midst  of 
 his  friends.  Nor  did  Brainerd  choose  the  business  of  a  missiona- 
 ry to  the  Indians,  rather  than  accept  of  those  invitations,  because 
 he  was  unacquainted  with  the  difficulties  and  sufferings  which  at- 
 tended such  a  service  ;  for  he  had  had  experience  of  these  diffi- 
 culties in  summer  and  winter;  having  spent  about  a  twelvemonth 
 in  a  lonely  desert  among  these  savages,  where  he  had  gone'through 
 extreme  hardships,  and  been  the  subject  of  a  train  of  outward  and 
 inward"sorrows,  which  were  now  fresh  in  his  mind.  Notwith- 
 standing all  these  things,  he  chose  still  to  go  on  with  this  business  : 
 and  that,  although  the  place  to  which  he  was  now  going,  was  at 
 a  much  greater  distance  from  most  of  his  friends,  acquaintance, 
 and  native  land. 
 
 After  this,  he  continued  two  or  three  days  in  New-Jersey,  very 
 ill ;  and  then  returned  to  New- York  ;  and  from  thence  into  New- 
 England  ;  and  went  to  his  native  town  of  Haddam,  where  he  ar- 
 rived on  Saturday,  April  14.     And  he  continues  still  his  bitter 
 
 t  The  Indians  at  Kaunaumeek  being  but  few  in  number,  and  Brainerd  having 
 now  been  labouring  among  them  about  a  year,  and  having  prevailed  upon  them  to 
 be  willing  to  leave  Kaunaumeek,  and  remove  to  Stockbridge,  to  live  constantly  un- 
 der Mr.  Sergeant's  ministry  ;  he  thought  he  might  now  do  more  service  for  Christ 
 among  the  Indians  elsewhere  :  and  therefore  went  this  journey  to  New-Jersey  to 
 lay  the  matter  before  the  commissioners  ;  who  met  at  Elizabeth-Town,  on  the  occa- 
 -ion,  and  determined  that  he  should  forthwith  leave  Kaunaumeek,  and  go  to  the  Del- 
 aware Indians. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  143 
 
 complaints  of  want  of  retirement.  While  he  was  in  New- York, 
 he  says  thus,  "  O  it  is  not  the  pleasures  of  the  world  which  can 
 comfort  me  !  U  God  deny  his  presence,  what  are  the  pleasures 
 of  the  citi/  to  me  ?  One  hour  of  sweet  retirement  where  God  is, 
 is  better  than  the  whole  world."  And  he  continues  to  complain 
 of  his  ignorance,  meanness,  and  unworthiness.  However,  he 
 speaks  of  some  seasons  of  special  assistance  and  divine  sweetness. 
 He  spent  some  days  among  his  friends  at  East-Hampton  and  Mil- 
 lington. 
 
 j^pril  17.  "Rode  to  Millington  again;  and  felt  perplexed 
 when  I  set  out ;  was  feeble  in  body,  and  weak  in  faith.  I  was  go- 
 ing to  preach  a  lecture  ;  and  feared  I  should  never  have  assistance 
 enough  to  get  through.  But  contriving  to  ride  alone,  at  a  dis- 
 tance from  the  company  that  was  going,  T  spent  the  time  in  lifting 
 up  my  heart  to  God.  Had  not  gone  far  before  my  soul  was 
 abundantly  strengthened  with  those  words,  "  If  God  be  for  us, 
 who  can  be  against  us  ?"  I  went  on,  confiding  in  God  ;  and  fear- 
 ing nothing  so  much  as  self-confidence.  In  this  frame  I  went  to 
 the  house  of  God,  and  enjoyed  some  assistance.  Afterwards  felt 
 the  spirit  of  love  and  meekness  in  conversation  with  some  friends. 
 Then  rode  home  to  my  brother's :  and  in  the  evening,  singing 
 hymns  with  friends,  mj  soul  seemed  to  melt :  and  in  prayer  af- 
 terwards, enjoyed  the  exercise' of /ai^A,  and  was  enabled  to  be 
 fervent  in  spirit :  found  more  of  God's  presence,  than  I  have  done 
 any  time  in  my  late  wearisome  journey.  Eternity  appeared  very 
 near;  my  nature  was  very  weak,  and  seemed  ready  to  be  dis- 
 solved ;  the  sun  declining,  and  the  shadows  of  the  evening  draw- 
 ing on  apace.  O  I  longed  to  fill  up  the  remaining  moments  all 
 for  God !  Though  my  body  was  so  feeble,  and  wearied  with 
 preaching,  and  much  private  conversation,  yet  I  wanted  to  sit  up 
 all  night  to  do  something  for  God.  To  God,  the  giver  of  these 
 refreshments,  be  glory  for  ever  and  ever.     Amen. 
 
 Jlpril  18,  "  Was  very  weak,  and  enjoyed  but  little  spiritual 
 comfort.  Was  exercised  with  one  who  cavilled  against  original 
 sin.  May  the  Lord  open  his  eyes  to  see  the  fountain  of  sin  in 
 himself!'''* 
 
 After  this,  he  visited  several  ministers  in  Connecticut;  and 
 then  travelled  towards  Kaunaumeek,  and  came  to  Mr.  Sergeant's 
 at  Stockbridge,  Thursday,  April  26.  He  performed  this  journey  in 
 a  very  weak  state  of  body.  The  things  he  speaks  of,  appertain- 
 ing to  the  frames  and  exercises  of  his  mind,  are  at  some  times 
 deadness  and  want  of  spiritual  comfort ;  at  other  times,  resting  in 
 God,  spiritual  sweetness  in  conversation,  engagedness  in  medita- 
 
144  MEMOIRS  OF  BKAINERD. 
 
 tion  on  the  road,  assistance  in  preaching,  rejoicing  to  think  .that 
 so  much  more  of  his  work  was  done,  and  he  so  much  nearer  to  the 
 eternal  world.  And  he  once  and  again  speaks  of  a  sense  of  great 
 ignorance  and  spiritual  pollution. 
 
 April  27  and  28.  "Spent  some  time  in  visiting  friends,  and 
 discoursing  with  my  people,  (who  were  now  moved  down  from 
 their  own  place  to  Mr.  Sergeant's)  and  found  them  very  glad  to 
 see  me  returned.  Was  exercised  in  my  mind  with  a  sense  of  my 
 own  unworthiness. 
 
 Lord's  day,  April  29.  Preached  for  Mr.  Sergeant  both  parts 
 of  the  day,  from  Rev.  xiv.  4.  These  are  they  which  were  not  defiled^ 
 ^c.  Enjoyed  some  freedom  in  preaching,  though  not  much  spir- 
 ituality. In  the  evening,  my  heart  was  in  some  measure  hfted  up 
 in  thankfulness  to  God  for  any  assistance. 
 
 April  30.  "  Rode  to  Kaunaumeek,  but  was  extremely  ill ;  did 
 not  enjoy  the  comfort  I  hoped  for  in  my  own  house. 
 
 May  1.  "  Having  received  new  orders  to  go  to  a  number  of 
 Indians  on  Delaware  river  in  Pennsylvania,  and  my  people  here 
 being  mostly  removed  to  Mr.  Sergeant's  I  this  day  took  all  my 
 clothes,  books,  &;c.  and  disposed  of  them,  and  set  out  for  Dela- 
 ware river;  but  made  it  my  way  to  return  to  Mr.  Sergeant's, 
 which  I  did  this  day,  just  at  night.  Rode  several  hours  in  the 
 rain  through  the  howling  wilderness,  although  I  was  so  disorder- 
 ed in  body,  that  little  or  nothing  but  blood  came  from  me." 
 
 He  continued  at  Stockbridge  the  next  day,  and  on  Ihursday 
 rode  a  little  way,  to  Sheifieid,  under  a  great  degree  of  illness  ; 
 but  with  encouragement  and  cheerfulness  of  mind  under  his  fa- 
 tigues. On  Friday,  he  rode  to  Salisbury,  and  continued  there  till 
 after  the  Sabbath.  He  speaks  of  his  soul's  being,  some  part  of 
 this  time,  refreshed  in  conversation  with  some  christian  friends, 
 about  their  heavenly  home,  and  their  journey  thither.  At  other 
 times,  he  speaks  of  himself  as  exceedingly  perplexed  with  bar- 
 renness and  deadness,  and  has  this  exclamation  :  "  O  that  time 
 should  pass  with  so  little  done  for  God!"  On  Monday  he  rode  to 
 Sharon  ;  and  speaks  of  himself  as  distressed  at  the  consideration 
 of  the  mis-improvement  of  time. 
 
 ^  0^*'  May  8.  "  Set  out  from  Sharon  in  Connecticut,  and  travelled 
 about  forty-five  miles  to  a  place  called  Fishkillj^  and  lodged 
 there.  Spent  much  of  my  time,  while  riding,  in  prayer,  that  God 
 would  go  with  me  to  Delaware.     My  heart  sometimes  was  leady 
 
 *  A  place  in  New- York  government,  near  the  Hudson,  on  the  West  side  of  the. 
 river. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  145 
 
 to  sink  with  the  thoughts  of  my  work,  and  going  alone  in  the  wil- 
 derness, I  knew  not  where  :  but  still  it  was  comfortable,  to  think, 
 that  others  of  God's  children  had  "  wandered  about  in  caves  and 
 dens  of  the  earth;"  and  Abraham,  when  he  was  called  to  go  forth, 
 "  went  out,  not  knowing  whither  he  went."  Oh  that  I  might  fol- 
 low after  God  !" 
 
 The  next  day,  he  went  forward  on  his  journey  ;  crossed  the 
 Hudson,  and  went  to  Goshen  in  the  Highlands  ;  and  so  travelled 
 across  the  woods,  from  the  Hudson  to  the  Delaware,  about  a  hun- 
 dred miles,  through  a  desolate  and  hideous  country,  above  New- 
 Jersey;  where  were  very  few  s<ittlements  :  in  which  journey  he 
 suifered  much  fatigue  and  hardship.  He  visited  some  Indians  in 
 the  way,  and  discoursed  with  them  concerning  Christianity.  Was 
 considerably  melancholy  and  disconsolate,  being  alone  in  a  strange 
 wilderness.  On  Saturday,  he  came  to  a  settlement  of  Irish  and 
 Dutch  people,  about  twelve  miles  above  the  Forks  of  Delaware. 
 
 Lordh  day,  May  13.  "  Rose  early  ;  felt  very  poorly  after  my 
 long  journey,  and  after  being  wet  and  fatigued.  Was  very  mel- 
 ancholy; have  scarcely  ever  seen  such  a  gloomy  morning  in  my 
 life  ;  there  appeared  to  be  no  Sabbath;  the  children  were  all  at 
 play  ;  1  a  stranger  in  tlie  wilderness,  and  knew  not  where  to  go; 
 and  all  circumstances  seemed  to  conspire  to  render  my  affairs 
 dark  and  discouraging.  Was  disappointed  respecting  an  inter' 
 preter,  and  heard  that  the  Indians  were  much  scattered.  O  I 
 mourned  after  the  presence  of  God,  and  seemed  like  a  creature 
 banished  from  his  sight!  yet  he  was  pleased  to  support  my  sink- 
 ing soul,  amidst  all  my  sorrows  ;  so  that  I  never  entertained  any 
 thought  of  quittine;  my  business  among  the  poor  Indians  ;  but  was 
 comforted,  to  think,  that  death  would  ere  long  set  me  free  from 
 these  distresses.  Rode  about  three  or  four  miles  to  the  Irish  peo- 
 ple, where  I  found  some  that  appeared  sober  and  concerned  about 
 religion.  My  heart  then  began  to  be  a  little  encouraged  : 
 went  and  preached,  first  to  the  Irish,  and  then  to  the  Indians:  and 
 m  the  evening,  was  a  little  comforted  ;  my  soul  seemed  to  rest  on 
 God,  and  take  courage.  Oh  that  the  Lord  would  be  my  support 
 and  comforter  in  an  evil  world! 
 
 May  14.  Was  very  busy  in  some  necessary  studies.  Felt  my- 
 self very  loose  from  all  the  world  ;  all  appeared  "  vanity  and  vex- 
 ation of  spirit."  Seemed  lonesome  and  disconsolate,  as  if  I  were 
 banished  from  all  mankind,  and  bereaved  of  all  that  is  called 
 pleasurable  in  the  world;  but  appeared  to  myself  so  vile  and  un^ 
 worthv,  it  seemed  fitter  for  me  to  be  here  than  any  where. 
 
 19 
 
146  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 May  15.  ''  Still  much  engaged  in  my  studies  ;  and  enjoyed 
 more  health,  than  I  have  for  some  time  past :  but  was  somewhat 
 dejected  in  spirit  with  a  sense  of  my  meanness  ;  seemed  as  if  I 
 coald  never  do  any  thing  at  all  to  any  good  purpose  by  reason  of 
 ignorance  and  folly.  Oh  that  a  sense  of  these  things  might  work 
 more  habitual  humility  in  my  soul !" 
 
 He  continued  much  in  the  same  frame  the  next  day. 
 
 May  17.  "  Was  this  day  greatly  distressed  with  a  sense  of  my 
 vileness ;  appeared  to  myself  too  bad  to  walk  on  God's  earth,  or 
 to  be  treated  wiih  kindness  by  any  of  his  creatures.  God  was 
 pleased  to  let  me  see  my  inward  pollution  and  corruption,  to  such 
 a  degree,  that  I  almost  despaired  of  being  more  holy  :  "O  wretch- 
 ed man  that  I  am  !  who  shall  deliver  me  from  the  body  of  this 
 death  ?"  In  the  afternoon,  met  with  the  Indians,  according  to  ap- 
 pointment, and  preached  to  them.  And  while  riding  to  them,  my 
 soul  seemed  to  confide  in  God;  and  afterwards  had  some  relief 
 and  enlargement  of  soul  in  prayer,  and  some  assistance  in  the  du- 
 ty of  intercession;  vital  piety  and  holiness  appeared  sweet  to  me, 
 and  I  longed  for  the  perfection  of  il. 
 
 May  18.  "  Felt  again  somewhat  of  the  sweet  spirit  of  reli- 
 gion ;  and  my  soul  seemed  to  confide  in  God,  that  he  would  nev- 
 er leave  me.  But  oftentimes  saw  myself  so  mean  a  creature,  that 
 I  knew  not  how  to  think  of  preaching.  Oh  that  I  could  always 
 live  to,  and  ujjon  God! 
 
 May  10.  Was,  some  part  of  the  time,  greatly  oppressed  with 
 the  weight  and  burden  of  my  work;  it  seemed  impossible  for  me 
 ever  to  go  through  with  the  business  I  had  undertaken.  Towards 
 night  was  very  calm  and  comfortable  ;  and  I  think,  my  soul  trust- 
 ed in  God  for  help. 
 
 Lordh  day.  May  20.  "  Preached  twice  to  the  poor  Indians; 
 and  enjoyed  some  freedom  in  speaking,  while  I  attempted  to  re- 
 move their  prejudices  against  Christianity.  My  soul  longed  for 
 assistance  from  above,  all  the  while ;  for  I  saw  I  had  no  strength 
 sufficient  for  that  work.  Afterwards,  preached  to  the  Irish  peo- 
 ple ;  was  much  assisted  in  the  first  prayer,  and  somewhat  in  the 
 sermon.  Several  persons  seemed  much  concerned  for  their- 
 souls,  with  whom  I  discoursed  afterwards  with  much  freedom  and 
 some  power.  Blessed  be  God  for  any  assistance  afforded  to  an 
 unworthy  worm.      Oh  that  I  could  live  to  him  /" 
 
 Through  the  remainder  of  this  week,  he  was  sometimes  ready  to 
 biok  with  a  sense  of  his  unworthiness  and  unfitness  for  the  work  of 
 
iVIEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  147 
 
 the  ministry;  and  sometimes  encouraged  and  lifted^ above  his 
 fears  and  sorrows,  and  was  enabled  confidently  to  rely  on  God ; 
 and  especially  on  Saturday,  towards  night,  he  enjoyed  calmness 
 and  composure,  and  assistance  in  prayer  to  God.  He  rejoiced, 
 "that  God  remains  unchangeably  powerful  and  faithful,  a  sure  and 
 sufficient  portion,  and  the  dwelling  place  of  his  children  in  all 
 generations." 
 
 Lord^s  day,  May  27.  *'  Visited  my  Indians,  in  the  morning, 
 and  attended  upon  a  funeral  among  them;  was  affected  to  see 
 their  Heathenish  practices.  Oh  that  they  might  be  "  turned  from 
 darkness  to  light !"  Afterwards  got  a  considerable  number  of 
 them  together,  and  preached  to  them  ;  and  observed  them  very 
 attentive.  After  this,  preached  to  the  white  people  from  Heb.  ii. 
 S.  How  shall  we  escape  if  we  neglect,  ^c.  Was  enabled  to  speak 
 with  some  freedom  and  powder:  several  people  seemed  much  con- 
 cerned for  their  souls ;  especially  one  who  had  been  educated  a 
 Roman  Catholic.     Blessed  be  the  Lord  for  any  help. 
 
 May  28.  "Set  out  from  the  Indians  above  the  Forks  of  the 
 Delaware,  on  a  journey  towards  Newark  in  New-Jersey,  accor- 
 ding to  my  orders.  Rode  through  the  wilderness  ;  was  much  fa- 
 tigued with  the  heat;  lodged  at  a  place  called  Black  River;  was 
 exceedingly  tired  and  w^orn  out." 
 
 On  Tuesday  he  came  to  Newark.  The  next  day  went  to  Eliza- 
 beth-Town. On  Thursday  he  went  to  New- York,  and  on  Fri- 
 day returned  to  Elizabeth-Town.  These  days  were  spent  in  some 
 perplexity  of  mind.  He  continued  at  Elizabeth-Town  till  Fri- 
 day in  the  week  following.  Was  enlivened,  refreshed,  and  strength- 
 ened on  the  Sabbath  at  the  Lord's  table.  The  ensuing  days  of 
 the  week  were  spent  chiefly  in  studies  preparatory  to  his  ordina- 
 tion^  and  on  some  of  them  he  seemed  to  have  much  of  God's 
 gracious  presence,  and  of  the  sweet  influences  of  his  Spirit;  but 
 was  in  a  very  weak  state  of  body.  On  Saturday  he  rode  to  Newark. 
 
 Lordh  day,  June  10.  "  [At  Newark]  in  the  morning  was  much 
 concerned  how  I  should  perform  the  work  of  the  day  ;  and  trem- 
 bled at  the  thoughts  of  being  left  to  myself.  Enjoyed  very  con- 
 siderable assistance  in  all  parts  of  the  public  service.  Had  an  op- 
 portunity again  to  attend  on  the  ordinance  of  the  Lord's  supper, 
 and  through  divine  goodness  was  refreshed  in  it :  my  soul  was  full 
 of  love  and  tenderness  towards  the  children  of  God,  and  towards 
 all  men  ;  felt  a  certain  sweetness  of  disposition  towards  every  crea- 
 ture. At  night,  I  enjoyed  more  spirituality  and  sweet  desire  of 
 holiness,  than  I  have  felt  for  some  time:  was  afraid  of  every 
 thought  and  every  motion,  lest  thereby  my  heart  should  be  drawii 
 
148  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 away  from  God.  Oh  that  I  might  never  leave  the  blessed  God  ! 
 **  Lord,  in  thy  presence  is  fulness  of  joy."  O  the  blessedness  of 
 living  to  God! 
 
 June  11.  "  This  day  the  Presbytery  met  together  at  Newark, 
 in  order  to  my  ordination.  Was  very  weak  and  disordered  in 
 body;  yet  endeavoured  to  repose  my  confidence  in  God.  Spent 
 most  of  the  day  alone  ;  especially  the  forenoon.  At  three  in  the 
 afternoon  preached  my  probation  sermon,  from  Acts  xxvi.  17,  18. 
 Delivering  thee  from  the  people,  and  from  the  Gentiles,  ^c.  being 
 a  text  given  me  for  that  end.  Felt  not  well  either  in  body  or 
 mind ;  however,  God  carried  me  through  comfortably.  After- 
 wards, passed  an  examination  before  the  Presbytery,  Was  much 
 tired,  and  my  mind  burdened  with  the  greatness  of  that  charge  I 
 was  in  the  most  solemn  manner  about  to  take  upon  me  :  my  mind 
 was  so  pressed  with  the  weight  of  the  work  incumbent  upon  me, 
 that  I  could  not  sleep  this  night,  though  very  weary  and  in  great 
 need  of  rest. 
 
 June  12.  "  Was  this  morning  further  examined,  respecting  my 
 experimental  acquaintance  with  Christianity.^  At  ten  o'clock  my 
 ordination  was  attended  ;  the  sermon  preached  by  the  Rev.  Mr. 
 Pemberton.  At  this  time  I  was  affected  with  a  sense  of  the  im- 
 portant trust  commhted  to  me ;  yet  was  composed,  and  solemn, 
 without  distraction  ;  and  I  hope  that  then,  as  many  timss  before, 
 I  gave  myself  up  to  God,  to  be  for  him,  and  not  for  another.  Oh 
 that  I  might  always  be  engaged  in  the  service  of  God,  and  duly  re- 
 member the  solemn  charge  I  have  received,  in  the  presence  of  God, 
 angels,  and  men.  Amen.  May  I  be  assisted  of  God  for  this  pur- 
 pose.— Towards  night,  rode  to  Elizabeth-Town." 
 
 *Mr.  Pemberton,  in  a  letter  to  the  Honourable  society  in  Scotland,  published  in 
 the  Christian  Monlhly  History,  writes  thus,  "  We  can  with  pleasure  say,  that  Mr. 
 BrAineri>  passed  throug;h  his  ordination  trial,  to  the  universal  approbation  of  the 
 Presbytery,  and  appeared  uncommonly  qualified  for  the  work  of  the  ministry.  He 
 seems  to  be  armed  with  a  great  deal  of  self-denial,  and  animated  with  a  noble  zeal 
 to  propagate  the  gospel  among  those  barbarous  nations,  who  have  long  dwelt  in  the 
 darkness  of  Heathenism.' 
 
CHAPTER  VI. 
 
 From  his  OrdUtation,  to  the  commencement  of  his  Labours  at  Crosweek- 
 
 June  13.  [1744.]  "Spent  some  considerable  time  in  writing 
 an  account  of  the  Indian  affairs  to  g  >  o  Scotland  ;  some,  in  con- 
 versaton  with  friends ;  but  enjoyed  not  much  sweetness  and  sat- 
 isfaction. 
 
 June  ] 4.  "Received  some  particular  kindness  from  friends; 
 and  wondered,  that  God  should  open  the  hearts  of  any  to  treat 
 me  with  kindness  :  saw  myself  to  be  unworthy  of  any  favour  from 
 God,  or  any  of  my  fellow-men.  Was  much  exercised  with  pain 
 in  my  head;  however  I  determined  to  set  out  on  my  journey  to- 
 wards the  Delaware  in  the  afternoor> ;  but  when  the  afernoon 
 came,  my  pain  increased  exceedinglv  ;  so  that  1  was  obliged  to 
 betake  myself  to  bed.  The  ni«:ht  following'-,  I  was  greatly  distres- 
 sed with  pain  and  sickness ;  was  sometimes  almost  bereaved  of 
 the  exercise  of  reason  by  the  extremity  of  pain.  Continued  mu;h 
 distressed  till  Satur day, v/hen  I  was  somewhat  relieved  by  an  emetic  : 
 but  was  unable  to  walk  abroad  till  the  Monday  following,  in  the  af- 
 ternoon ;  and  still  remained  very  feeble.  I  often  admired  the  good- 
 ness of  God,  that  he  did  not  suffer  me  to  proceed  on  my  journey 
 from  this  place  where  I  was  so  tenderly  used,  and  to  be  sick  by 
 the  way  among  strangers.  God  is  \ery  gracious  to  me,  both  in 
 health  and  sickness,  and  intermingles  much  mercy  with  all  my  af- 
 flictions and  toils.  Enjoyed  some  sweetness  in  things  divine, 
 in  the  midst  of  my  pain  and  weakness.  Oh  that  I  could  praise 
 the  Lord. 
 
 On  Tuesday,  June  19.  He  set  out  on  his  journey  home,  and  in 
 three  days  reached  his  residence  near  the  Forks  of  Delaware. 
 Performed  the  journey  under  much  weakness  of  body  ;  but  had 
 comfort  in  his  soul,  from  day  to  day:  and  both  his  weakness  of 
 body,  and  consolation  of  mind,  continued  through  the  week. 
 
 hordes  day,  June  24.  "Extremely  feeble;  scarcely  able  tb 
 walk:  however  visited  my  Indians,  and  took  much  pains  to  in- 
 struct them ;  laboured  with  some  that  were  much  disaffected  to 
 Christianity.     My  mind  was  much  burdened  with  the  wei8;ht  and 
 
130  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 difficulty  of  my  work.  My  whole  dependence  and  hope  of  suc- 
 cess seemed  to  be  on  God ;  who  alone  I  saw  could  make  them 
 willing  to  receive  instruction.  My  heart  was  much  engaged  in 
 prayer,  sending  up  silent  requests  to  God,  even  while  I  was  speak- 
 ing to  them.  Oh  that  I  could  always  go  in  the  strength  of  the 
 Lord  ! 
 
 June  25.  "  Was  somewhat  better  in  health  than  of  late  ;  and 
 was  able  to  spend  a  considerable  part  of  the  day  in  prayer  and 
 close  study.  Had  more  freedom  and  fervency  in  prayer  than  us- 
 ual of  late  ;  especially  longed  for  the  presence  of  God  in  my  work, 
 and  that  the  poor  Heathen  might  be  converted.  And  in  evening 
 prayer  my  faith  and  hope  in  God  were  much  raised.  To  an  eye 
 of  reason  every  thing  that  respects  the  conversion  of  the  Heathen  is 
 as  dark  as  midnight ;  and  yet  I  cannot  but  hope  in  God  for  the 
 accomplishment  of  something  glorious  among  them.  My  soul 
 longed  much  for  the  advancement  of  the  Redeemer's  kingdom  on 
 earth.  Was  very  fearful  lest  I  should  admit  some  vain  thought, 
 and  so  lose  the  sense  I  then  had  of  divine  things.  Oh  for  an 
 abiding  heavenly  temper ! 
 
 June  26.  "  In  the  morning,  my  desires  seemed  to  rise,  and 
 ascend  up  freely  to  God.  Was  busy  most  of  the  day  in  translating 
 prayers  into  the  language  of  the  Delaware  Indians  ;  met  with  great 
 difficulty,  because  my  interpreter  was  altogether  unacquainted  with 
 the  business.  But  though  I  was  much  discouraged  with  the  ex- 
 treme difficulty  of  that  work,  yet  God  supported  me ;  and  espe- 
 cially in  the  evening,  gave  me  sweet  refreshment.  In  prayer  my 
 soul  was  enlarged,  and  my  faith  drawn  into  sensible  exercise ;  was 
 enabled  to  cry  to  God  for  my  poor  Indians ;  and  though  the 
 work  of  their  conversion  appeared  impossible  ivith  man,  yet  with 
 God  I  saw  all  things  were  possible.  My  faith  was  much  strength- 
 ened, by  observing  the  wonderful  assistance  God  afforded  his  ser- 
 vants Nehemiah  and  Ezra,  in  reforming  his  people,  and  re-estab- 
 lishing his  ancient  church.  I  was  much  assisted  in  prayer  for  my 
 dear  christian  friends,  and  for  others  whom  I  apprehended  to  be 
 christless;  but  was  more  especially  concerned  for  the  poor  Hea- 
 then, and  those  of  my  own  charge  ;  was  enabled  to  be  instant  in 
 prayer  for  them ;  and  hoped  that  God  would  bow  the  heavens  and 
 come  down  for  their  salvation.  It  seemed  to  me,  that  there 
 could  be  no  impediment  sufficient  to  obstruct  that  glorious  work, 
 seeing  the  living  God,  as  I  strongly  hoped,  was  engaged  for  it.  I 
 continued  in  a  solemn  frame,  lifting  up  my  heart  to  God  for  as- 
 sistance and  grace,  that  1  might  be  more  mortified  to  this  present 
 world,  that  my  whole  soul  might  be  taken  up  continually  in  con- 
 cern foi  the  advancement  of  Christ's  kingdom.     Earnestly  desired 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  151 
 
 that  God  would  purge  me  more,  that  I  might  be  as  a  chosen  ves- 
 sel to  bear  his  name  among  the  Heathens.  Continued  in  this 
 frame  till  I  fell  asleep. 
 
 June  27.  "Felt  something  of  the  same  solemn  concern,  and 
 spirit  of  prayer,  which  I  enjoyed  last  night,  soon  after  I  rose  in 
 the  morning.  In  the  afternoon,  rode  several  miles  to  see  if  I 
 could  procure  any  lands  for  the  poor  Indians,  that  they  might 
 live  together,  and  be  under  better  advantages  for  instruction. — 
 While  I  was  riding,  had  a  deep  sense  of  the  greatness  and  difficul- 
 ty of  my  work;  and  my  soul  seemed  to  rely  wholly  upon  God  for 
 success,  in  the  diligent  and  faithful  use  of  means.  Saw,  with  the 
 greatest  certainty,  that  the  arm  of  the  Lord  must  be  revealed,  for 
 the  help  of  these  poor  Heathen,  if  ever  they  were  delivered  from 
 the  bondage  of  the  powers  of  darkness.  Spent  most  of  the  time, 
 while  riding,  in  lifting  up  my  heart  for  grace  and  assistance. 
 
 June  28.  "  Spent  the  morning  in  reading  several  parts  of  the 
 holy  scripture,  and  in  fervent  prayer  for  my  Indians,  that  God 
 would  set  up  his  kingdom  among  them,  and  bring  them  into  his 
 church.  About  nine,  I  withdrew  to  my  usual  place  of  retirement 
 in  the  woods  ;  and  there  again  enjoyed  some  assistance  in  prayer. 
 My  great  concern  was  for  the  conversion  of  the  Heathen  to  God  ; 
 and  the  Lord  helped  me  to  plead  with  him  for  it.  Towards  noon, 
 rode  up  to  the  Indians,  in  order  to  preach  to  them  ;  and  while  go- 
 ing, my  heart  went  up  to  God  in  prayer  for  them ;  could  freely 
 tell  God,  he  knew  that  the  cause  in  which  I  was  engaged  was 
 not  mine ;  but  that  it  was  his  own  cause,  and  that  it  would  be  for 
 his  own  glory  to  convert  the  poor  Indians  :  and  blessed  be  God, 
 I  felt  no  desire  of  their  conversion,  that  I  might  receive  honour 
 from  the  world,  as  being  the  instrument  of  it.  Had  some  freedom 
 in  speaking  to  the  Indians." 
 
 The  next  day,  he  speaks  of  some  serious  concern  for  the  king- 
 dom of  the  blessed  Redeemer ;  but  complains  much  of  barren- 
 ness, wanderings,  inactivity,  &ic. 
 
 June  30.  "  My  soul  was  very  solemn  in  reading  God's  word  ; 
 especially  the  ninth  chapter  of  Daniel.  I  saw  how  God  had  call- 
 ed out  liis  servants  to  prayer,  and  made  them  wrestle  with  him, 
 when  he  designed  to  bestow  any  great  mercy  on  his  church.  And, 
 alas  !  I  was  ashamed  of  myself,  to  think  of  my  dulness  and  inac- 
 tivity, when  there  seemed  to  be  so  much  to  do  for  the  upbuilding 
 of  Zion.  O  how  does  Zion  lie  waste  !  I  longed,  that  the  church 
 of  God  might  be  enlarged  :  was  enabled  to  pray,  I  think,  in  faith  ; 
 my  soul  seemed  sensibly  to  confide  in  God,  and  was  enabled  to 
 
152  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINEKD. 
 
 wrestle  with  him.  Afterwards,  walked  abroad  to  a  place  of  svvoei 
 retirement,  enjoyed  some  assistance  in  prayer,  had  a  sense  of  my 
 great  need  of  divine  help,  and  felt  my  soul  sensibly  depend  on 
 God.  Blessed  be  God,  this  has  been  a  comfortable  week  to  me. 
 Lordh  day,  Jidy  1.  "In  the  morning,  was  perplexed  with 
 wandering  vain  thoughts ;  was  much  grieved,  judged  and  con- 
 demned myself  before  God.  O  how  miserable  did  I  feel,  be- 
 cause I  could  not  live  to  God  !  At  ten,  rode  away  with  a  heavy 
 heart,  to  preach  to  my  Indians.  Upon  the  road  I  attemped  to 
 lift  up  my  heart  to  God;  but  was  infested  with  an  unsettled  wan- 
 dering frame  of  mind ;  and  was  exceeding  restless  and  perplexed, 
 and  filled  with  shame  and  confusion  before  God.  I  seemed  to 
 rayselfto  be  "more  brutish  than  any  man;"  and  thought,  none 
 deserved  to  be  "cast  out  of  God's  presence"  so  much  as  I.  If  I 
 attempted  to  lift  up  my  heart  to  God,  as  I  frequently  did  by  the 
 way,  on  a  sudden,  before  I  was  aware,  my  thoughts  were  wander- 
 ing "  to  the  ends  of  the  earth ;"  and  my  soul  was  filled  with  sur- 
 prise and  anxiety,  to  find  it  thus.  Thus  also,  after  I  came  to  the 
 Indians,  my  mind  was  confused  ;  and  I  felt  nothing  sensibly  of  that 
 sweet  reliance  on  God,  with  which  my  soul  has  been  comforted 
 in  days  past.  Spent  the  forenoon  in  this  posture  of  mind,  and 
 preached  to  the  Indians  without  any  heart.  In  the  afternoon,  I 
 felt  still  barren,  when  I  began  to  preach,  and  for  about  half  an 
 hour.  I  seemed  to  myself  to  know  nothing,  and  to  have  nothing 
 to  say  to  the  Indians;  but  soon  after,  I  found  in  myself  a  spirit  of 
 love,  and  warmth,  and  power,  to  address  the  poor  Indians;  and 
 God  helped  me  to  plead  with  them,  to  "  turn  from  all  the  vanities 
 of  the  Heathen,  to  the  living  God  ;"  I  am  persuaded  that  the 
 Lord  touched  their  consciences;  for  I  never  saw  such  attention 
 raised  in  them.  When  I  came  away  from  them,  I  spent  the 
 whole  time  while  I  was  riding  to  my  lodgings,  three  miles  distant, 
 in  prayer  and  praise  to  God.  After  I  had  rode  more  than  two 
 miles,  it  came  into  my  mind  to  dedicate  myself  to  God  again  ; 
 which  I  did  with  great  solemnity  and  unspeakable  satisfaction  ; 
 especially  gave  up  myself  to  him  renewedly  in  the  work  of  the 
 ministry.  This  I  did  by  divine  grace,  1  hope,  without  any  excep- 
 tion or  reserve;  not  in  the  least  shrinking  back  from  any  difficul- 
 ties that  might  attend  this  great  and  blessed  work.  I  seemed  to 
 be  most  free,  cheerful,  and  full  in  this  dedication  of  myself.  My 
 whole  soul  cried  "  Lord,  to  thee  T  dedicate  myself!  O  accept  of 
 me,  and  let  me  be  thine  for  ever.  Lord,  I  desire  nothing  else  ;  \ 
 desire  nothing  more.  O  come,  come.  Lord,  accept  a  poor  worm. 
 Whom  have  I  in  heaven  hut  thee?  and  there  is  none  upon  earth, 
 that  I  desire  beside  thee.^^     After  this,  was  enabled  to  praise  God 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  153 
 
 with  my  whole  soul,  that  he  had  enabled  me  to  devote  and  conse- 
 crate all  my  powers  to  him  in  this  solemn  manner.  My  heart  re- 
 joiced in  my  particular  work  as  a  missionary ;  rejoiced  in  my  ne- 
 cessity of  self-denial  in  many  respects  ;  and  still  continued  to  give 
 up  myself  to  God,  and  implore  mercy  of  him,  praying  incessant- 
 ly, every  moment,  with  sweet  fervency.  My  nature  being  very 
 weak,  of  late,  and  much  spent,  was  now  considerably  overcome  : 
 my  fingers  grew  very  feeble,  and  somewhat  numb,  so  that  I  could 
 scarcely  stretch  them  out  straight ;  and  when  I  lighted  from  my 
 horse,  could  hardly  walk  ;  my  joints  seemed  all  to  be  loosed. 
 But  I  felt  abundant  strength  in  the  inner  man.  Preached  to  tiie 
 white  people  :  God  helped  me  much,  especially  in  prayer.  Sun- 
 dry of  my  poor  Indians  were  so  moved  as  to  come  to  meeting  al- 
 so;  and  one  appeared  much  concerned. 
 
 July  2.  "  Had  some  relish  of  the  divine  comforts  of  yester- 
 day ;  but  could  not  get  that  warmth  and  exercise  of  faith,  which  I 
 desired.  Had  sometimes  a  distressing  sense  of  my  past  follies, 
 and  present  ignorance  and  barrenness  :  and  especially  in  the  after- 
 noon, was  sunk  down  under  a  load  of  sin  and  guilt,  in  that  I  had 
 lived  so  httle  to  God,  after  his  abundant  goodnes';  to  me  yester- 
 day. In  the  evening,  though  very  weak,  was  enabled  to  pray  with 
 •fervency,  and  to  continue  instant  in  prayer,  near  an  hour.  My 
 soul  mourned  over  the  power  of  its  corruption,  and  longed  ex- 
 ceedingly to  be  washed  ^^nd  purged  us  ivithhysup.  Was  enabled 
 to  pray  for  my  dear  absent  friends,  Christ's  ministers,  and  his 
 church  ;  and  enjoyed  much  freedom  and  fervency,  but  not  so 
 much  comfort,  by  reason  of  guilt  and  shame  before  God.  Judged 
 and  condemned  myself  for  the  follies  of  the  day. 
 
 July  3.  "  Was  still  very  weak.  This  morning,  was  enabled 
 to  pray  under  a  feeling  sense  of  my  need  of  help  from  God,  and, 
 I  trust,  had  some  faith  in  exercise  ;  and,  blessed  be  God,  was  en- 
 abled to  plead  with  him  a  considerable  time.  Truly  God  is  good 
 to  me.  But  my  soul  mourned,  and  was  grieved  at  my  sinfulness 
 and  barrenness,  and  longed  to  be  more  engaged  for  God.  Near 
 nine,  withdrew  again  for  prayer;  and  through  divine  goodness, 
 had  the  blessed  spirit  of  prayer ;  my  soul  loved  the  duty,  and 
 longed  for  God  in  it.  O  it  is  sweet  to  be  the  Lord'^s,  to  be  sensi- 
 bly devoted  to  him  !  What  a  blessed  portion  is  God !  How  glo- 
 rious,   how   lovely  in  himself!     O  my   soul  longed  to  improve 
 
 lime  wholly  for  God  ! Spent  most  of  the   day  in  translating 
 
 prayers  into  Indian. — In  the  evening,  was  enabled  again  to  wres- 
 tle with  God  in  prayer  with  fervency.  Was  enabled  to  maintain 
 a  self-diffident  and  watchful  frame  of  spirit,  in  the  evening,   and 
 
 20 
 
lo4  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 was  jealous  and  afraid  lest  I  should  admit  carelessness  and  self- 
 confidence." 
 
 The  7iext  day^  he  seems  to  have  had  special  assistance  and  fer- 
 vency most  of  the  day,  but  in  a  less  degree  than  in  the  preceding 
 day.  Tuesday  was  spent  in  great  bodily  weakness  ;  yet  seems  to 
 have  been  spent  in  continual  distress  and  great  bitterness  of  spirit, 
 in  consequence  of  his  vileness  and  corruption.  He  says,  "I  thought 
 that  there  was  not  one  creature  living  so  vile  as  I.  O  my  inward 
 pollution  !  O  my  guilt  and  shame  before  God!  I  know  not  what 
 to  do.  O  I  longed  ardently  to  be  cleansed  and  washed  from  the 
 stains  of  inward  pollution  !  Oh,  to  be  made  like  God,  or  rathei 
 to  be  made  fit  for  God  to  own  !" 
 
 July  6.  "  Awoke  this  mornmg  in  the  fear  of  God  :  soon  call- 
 ed to  mind  my  sadness  in  the  evening  past ;  and  spent  my  first 
 waking  minutes  in  prayer  for  sanctification,  that  my  soul  may  be 
 washed  from  its  exceeding  pollution  and  defilement.  After  I 
 arose,  1  spent  some  time  in  reading  God's  word,  and  in  prayer.  I 
 cried  to  God  under  a  sense  of  my  great  indigence.  I  am,  of  late, 
 most  of  all  concerned  for  ministerial  qualifications,  and  the  con- 
 version of  the  Heathen.  Last  year,  1  longed  to  be  prepared  for 
 a  world  of  glory,  and  speedily  to  depart  out  of  this  world  ;  but  of 
 late  all  my  concern  almost  is  for  the  conversion  of  the  Heathen  ; 
 and  for  that  end  I  long  to  live.  But  blessed  be  God,  1  have  less 
 desire  to  live  for  any  of  the  pleasures  of  the  world,  than  I  ever 
 had.  I  long  and  love  to  be  a  pilgrim  ;  and  want  grace  to  imitate 
 the  life,  labours,  and  sufferings  of  St.  Paul  among  the  Heathen. 
 And  when  I  long  for  holiness  now,  it  is  not  so  much  for  myself  as 
 formerly  ;  but  rather  that  thereby  I  may  become  an  "  able  minis- 
 ter of  the  New-Testament,"  especially  to  the  Heathen.  Spent 
 about  two  hours  this  morning  in  reading  and  prayer  by  turns ;  and 
 was  in  a  watchful  tender  frame,  afraid  of  every  thing  that  might 
 cool  my  affections,  and  draw  away  my  heart  from  God.  "Was  a 
 little  strengthened  in  my  studies ;  but  near  night  was  very  weak 
 and  weary. 
 
 July  7.  "  Was  very  much  disordered  this  morning,  and  my 
 vigour  all  spent  and  exhausted  :  but  was  affected  and  refreshed  in 
 reading  the  sweet  story  of  Elijah's  translation,  and  enjoyed  some 
 affection  and  fervency  in  prayer:  longed  much  for  ministerial  gifts 
 and  graces,  that  1  might  do  something  in  the  cause  of  God.  Af- 
 terwards was  refreshed  and  invigorated,  while  reading  Alleine's 
 first  Case  of  conscience,  he.  and  enabled  then  to  pray  with  some 
 ardour  of  soul,  and  was  afraid  of  cartdessness  and  self-confidence, 
 and  lon<:';ed  for  holiness. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BU AINERD.  155 
 
 Lord''s  day^  July  8.  "  Was  ill  last  night,  not  able  to  rest  qui- 
 etly. Had  some  small  degree  of  assistance  in  preachinj^  to  thn 
 Indians  ;  and  afterwards  was  enabled  to  preach  to  the  white  peo- 
 ple with  some  power,  especially  in  the  cJose  of  my  discourse, 
 from  Jer.  iii.  23.  Truly  in  vain  is  salvation  hoped  for  from  the 
 hills,  &c.  The  Lord  also  assisted  me  in  some  measure  in  the 
 first  prayer;  blessed  be  his  name.  Near  night,  though  very 
 weary,  was  enabled  to  read  God's  word  with  some  sweet  relish 
 of  it,  and  to  pray  with  affection,  fervency,  and  I  trust  with  faith: 
 my  soul  was  more  sensibly  dependant  on  God  than  usual.  Was 
 watchful,  tender,  and  jealous  of  my  own  heart,  lest  I  should  ad- 
 mit carelessness  and  vain  thoughts,  and  grieve  the  blessed  Spirit, 
 so  that  he  should  w  ithdraw  his  sweet,  kind,  and  tender  influences. 
 Longed  to  "  depart,  and  be  with  Christ,"  more  than  at  any  time 
 of  late.  My  soul  was  exceedingly  united  to  the  saints  of  ancient 
 times,  as  well  as  those  now  living;  especially  my  soul  melted  for 
 the  society  of  Elijah  and  Elisha.  Was  enabled  to  cry  to  God 
 with  a  child-like  spirit,  and  to  continue  instant  in  prayer  for 
 some  time.  Was  much  enlarged  in  the  sweet  duty  of  inter- 
 cession ;  was  enabled  to  remember  great  numbers  of  dear 
 friends,  and  precious  souls,  as  well  as  Christ's  ministers.  Con- 
 tinued in  this  frame,  afraid  of  'every  idle  thought,  till  I  dropped 
 asleep. 
 
 July  9.  "  Was  under  much  illness  of  body  most  of  the  day ; 
 and  not  able  to  sit  up  the  whole'SayT  Towards  night  felt  a  little 
 better.  Then  spent  some  time  in  reading  God's  word  and  prayer; 
 enjoyed  some  degree  of  fervency  and  affection  ;  was  enabled  to 
 plead  with  God  for  his  cause  and  kingdom  :  and,  through  divine 
 goodness,  it  was  apparent  to  me,  that  it  was  his  cause  I  pleaded 
 for,  and  not  my  own  ;  and  was  enabled  to  make  this  an  argument 
 with  God  to  answer  my  requests. 
 
 July  10.  "  Was  ver^  jJL[j^  and  full  of  pain,  and  very  dull  and 
 spiritless. In  the  evening,  had  an  affecting  sense  of  my  igno- 
 rance, and  of  my  need  of  God  at  all  times,  to  do  every  thing 
 for  me  ;  and  my  soul  was  humbled  before  God. 
 
 July  1}.  ''Was  still  exercised  with  illness  and  pain.  Had 
 some  degree  of  affection  and  warmth  in  prayer  and  reading  God's 
 word  ;  longed  for  Abraham's  faith  and  feliow^ship  with  God  ;  and 
 felt  some  resolution  to  spend  all  my  time  for  God,  and  to  exert 
 myself  with  more  fervency  in  his  service  ;  but  found  my  body 
 weak  and  feeble.  In  the  afternoon,  though  very  ill,  was  enabled 
 to  spend  some  considerable  time  in  prayer;  spent,  indeed,  most 
 of  the  d^y  in  that  exercise  :  and  my  soul  was  ditlident,  watchful, 
 and  tender,  lest  I  should  offend  my  blessed  Friend,  in  thought  or 
 behaviour.     I  am  persuaded  that  my  soul  confided  in,  and  leaned 
 
166  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 upon  the  blessed  God.     O,  what  need  did  1  see  myself  to  stand 
 
 in  of  God  at   all   times,  to  assist  me  and  lead  me! Found  a 
 
 great  want  of  strength  and  vigour,  both  in  the  outward  and  inner 
 man." 
 
 The  exercises  and  experiences  of  which  he  speaks  in  the  next 
 nine  clays^  arc  very  similar  to  those  of  the  preceding  days  of  this 
 and  the  foregoing  week ;  a  sense  of  his  own  weakness,  ignorance, 
 unprofitableness,  and  vileness;  lothing  and  abhorring  himself; 
 self-diffidence  ;  sense  of  the  greatness  of  his  work,  of  his  great 
 need  of  divine  help,  and  the  extreme  danger  of  self-confidence  ; 
 longing  for  holiness  and  humility,  to  be  fitted  for  his  work,  and 
 to  live  to  God,  and  for  the  conversion  of  the  Indians;  and  these 
 things  to  a  very  great  degree. 
 
 July  21.  "  This  morning,  I  was  greatly  oppressed  with  guilt 
 and  shame,  from  a  sense  of  inward  vileness  and  pollution.  About 
 nine,  withdrew  to  the  woods  for  prayer;  but  had  not  much  com- 
 fort ;  I  appeared  to  myself  the  vilest,  meanest  creature  upon 
 earth,  and  could  scarcely  live  with  myself;  so  mean  and  vile  I 
 appeared,  that  I  thought  I  should  never  be  able  to  hold  up  my 
 hce  in  heaven,  if  God  of  his  infinite  grace  should  bring  me 
 thither.  Towards  night  my  burden  respecting  my  work  among 
 the  Indians  began  to  increase  much  ;  and  was  aggravated  by 
 hearing  sundry  things  which  looked  very  discouraging  ;  in  partic- 
 ular, that  they  intended  to  meet  together  the  next  day  for  an  idol- 
 atrous feast  and  dance.  Then  I  began  to  be  in  anguish :  I  thought 
 that  I  must  in  conscience  go  and  endeavour  to  break  them  up  ; 
 yet  knew  not  how  to  attempt  such  a  thing.  However,  I  withdrew 
 for  prayer,  hoping  for  strength  from  above.  Jn  prayer  I  was 
 exceedingly  enlarged,  and  my  soul  was  as  much  drawn  out  as  I 
 ever  remember  it  to  have  been  in  my  life.  1  was  in  such  anguish, 
 and  pleaded  with  so  much  earnestness  and  importunity,  that  when 
 1  rose  from  my  knees  I  felt  extremely  weak  and  overcome  ;  I 
 could  scarcely  v/alk  straight;  my  joints  were  loosed;  the  sweat 
 ran  down  my  face  and  body  ;  and  nature  seemed  as  if  it  would 
 dissolve.  So  far  as  I  could  judge,  I  was  wholly  free  from  selfish 
 ends  in  my  fervent  supplications  for  the  poor  Indians.  I  knew 
 that  they  were  met  together  to  worship  devils,  and  not  God  ;  and 
 tins  made  me  cry  earnestly,  that  God  would  now  appear,  and 
 lielp  me  in  my  attempts  to  break  up  this  idolatrous  meeting. 
 My  soul  pleaded  long ;  and  1  thought  that  God  would  hear,  and 
 would  go  with  me  to  vindicate  his  own  cause  :  I  seemed  to  con- 
 fide in  God  for  his  presence  and  assistance.  And  thus  I  spent  the 
 evening,  praying  incessantly  for  divine  assistance, and  that  I  might 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  157 
 
 hot  be  self-dependent,  but  still  have  my  whole  dependence  upon 
 God.  What  I  passed  throusjh  was  remarkable,  and  indeed  inex- 
 pressible. All  things  here  below  vanished  •,  and  there  appeared 
 to  be  nothing  of  any  considerable  importance  to  me,  but  holiness 
 of  heart  and  life,  and  the  conversion  of  the  Heathen  to  God.  All 
 my  cares,  fears,  and  desires,  which  might  be  said  to  be  of  a 
 worldly  nature,  disappeared  5  and  were,  in  my  esteem,  of  little 
 more  importance  than  a  puff  of  wind.  I  exceedini^ly  longed  that 
 God  would  get  to  himself  a  name  among  the  Heathen  ;  and  I  ap- 
 pealed to  him  with  the  greatest  freedom,  that  he  knew  I  "  pre- 
 ferred him  above  my  chief  joy."  Indeed,  I  had  no  notion  of  joy 
 from  this  world  ;  I  cared  not  where  or  how  1  lived,  or  what  hard- 
 ships I  went  through,  so  that  I  could  but  gain  souls  to  Christ.  I 
 continued  in  this  frame  all  the  evening  and  night.  While  I  was 
 asleep,  I  dreamed  of  these  things  ;  and  when  I  waked,  (as  I  fre- 
 quently did,)  the  first  thing  I  thought  of  was  this  great  work  of 
 pleading  for  God  against  Satan. 
 
 LorcPs  day^  July  22.  "  When  I  waked,  my  soul  was  burdened 
 with  what  seemed  to  be  before  me.  I  cried  to  God,  before  I 
 could  get  out  of  my  bed  ;  and  as  soon  as  I  was  dressed,  I  with- 
 drew into  the  woods,  to  pour  out  my  burdended  soul  to  God, 
 especially  for  assistance  in  my  great  work  ;  for  I  could  scarcely 
 think  of  any  thing  else.  I  enjoyed  the  same  freedom  and  ferven- 
 cy as  the  last  evening;  and  did  with  unspeakable  freedom  give  up 
 myself  afresh  to  God,  for  life  or  death,  for  all  hardships  he  should 
 call  me  to  among  the  Heathen  ;  and  felt  as  if  nothing  could  dis- 
 courage me  from  this  blessed  work.  I  had  a  strong  hope  that 
 God  would  "  bow  the  heavens  and  come  down,"  and  do  some 
 marvellous  work  among  the  Heathen.  While  I  was  riding  to  the 
 Indians — three  miles;  my  heart  was  continually  going  up  to  God 
 for  his  presence  and  assistance  ;  and  hoping,  and  almost  expect- 
 ing, that  God  would  make  this  the  day  of  his  power  and  grace 
 amongst  the  poor  Indians.  When  1  came  to  them,  I  found  them 
 engaged  in  their  frolic  ;  but  through  divine  goodness  1  persuaded 
 them  to  desist  and  attend  to  my  preaching  :  yet  still  there  ap- 
 peared nothing  of  the  special  power  of  God  among  them.  Preached 
 again  to  them  in  the  afternoon, and  observed  the  Indians  were  more 
 sober  than  before;  but  still  saw  nothingspecialamongthem.  Hence 
 Satan  took  occasion  to  tempt  and  buffet  me  with  these  cursed 
 suggestions,  There  is  no  God,  or  if  there  be,  he  is  not  able  to 
 convert  the  Indians,  before  they  have  more  knowledge,  Szc.  I 
 was  very  weak  and  weary,  and  my  soul  borne  down  with  perplex- 
 ity ;  but  was  mortified  to  all  the  world,  and  was  determined  still 
 to  wait  upon  God  for  the  conversion  of  the  Heathen,  though  the 
 devil  tempted  me  to  the  contrary. 
 
168  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 July  23.  "  Retained  still  a  deep  and  pressing  sense  of  what  Jay 
 with  so  nnuch  weight  upon  me  yesterday  ;  but  was  more  calm  and 
 quiet.  Enjoyed  freedom  and  composure,  after  the  temptations 
 of  the  last  evening  ;  had  sweet  resignation  to  the  divine  will  ; 
 and  desired  nothing  so  much  as  the  conversion  of  the  Heathen  to 
 God,  and  that  his  kingdom  might  come  in  my  own  heart,  and  the 
 hearts  of  others.  Rode  to  a  settlement  of  Irish  people,  about 
 fifteen  miles  south-westward  ;  spent  my  time  in  prayer  and  medi- 
 tation   by   the    way.     Near   night,  preached  from    Matt.   v.    3. 
 
 Blessed  are  the  poor  in  spirit^  &;c. God  was  pleased  to  afford  me 
 
 some  degree  of  freedom  and  fervency.  Blessed  be  God  for  any 
 measure  of  assistance, 
 
 July  24.  "  Rode  about  seventeen  miles  westward,  over  a  hid- 
 eous mountain,  to  a  number  of  Indians.  Got  together  near 
 thirty  of  them  :  preached  to  them  in  the  evening,  and  lodged 
 among  them — Was  weak,  and  felt  in  some  degree  disconsolate  ; 
 jet  could  have  no  freedom  in  the  thought  of  any  other  circum- 
 stances or  business  in  life.  All  my  desire  was  the  conversion  of 
 the  Heathen  ;  and  all  my  hope  was  in  God.  God  does  not  suf- 
 fer me  to  please  or  comfort  myself  with  hopes  of  seeing  friends, 
 returning  to  my   dear  acquaintance,  and   enjoy i rig  worldly  com- 
 
 The  ?iext  day^  he  preached  to  these  Indians  again  ;  and  then 
 returned  to  the  Irish  settlement,  and  there  preached  to  a  numer- 
 ous congregation.  There  was  a  considerable  appearance  of 
 awakening  in  the  congregation.  Thursday  he  returned  home, 
 exceedingly  fatigued  and  spent  ;  still  in  the  same  frame  of  morti- 
 fication to  the  world,  and  solicitous  for  the  advancement  of  Christ's 
 kingdom.  On  this  day  he  writes  thus:  "I  have  felt  this  week, 
 more  of  the  spirit  of  a  pilgrim  07i  earth,  than  perhaps  ever  before; 
 and  yet  so  desirous  to  see  Zion's  prosperity,  that  I  was  not  so  wil- 
 ling to  leave  this  scene  of  sorrows  as  I  used  to  be." — The  tzoo  re- 
 maining  days  of  the  week,  he  was  very  ill,  and  complains  of  wan- 
 derings, dulness,  and  want  of  spiritual  fervency  and  sweetness. 
 On  the  Sabbath,  he  was  confined  by  illness,  not  able  to  go  out  to 
 preach.  After  this,  bis  illness  increased  upon  him,  and  he  con- 
 tinued very  ill  all  the  week;  and  says,  that  "he  thought  he  never 
 before  endured  such  a  season  of  distressing  weakness  ;  that  his 
 nature  was  so  spent,  that  he  could  neither  stand,  sit,  nor  lie  with 
 any  quiet ;  that  he  was  exercised  with  extreme  faintncss  and  sick- 
 ness at  his  stomach ;  that  his  mind  was  as  much  disordered  as  his 
 body,  seeming  to  be  stupid,  and  without  any  kind  of  affections 
 towards  all  objects,  and  yet  perplexed,  to  think  that  he  lived  for 
 nothing;  that  precious  time  rolled  away  and  he  could  do  nothing 
 but  trifle:  and   that  it  was  a   season  wherein  Satan  bufifetted  him 
 
MEMOIRS  OF   BRAINERD.  159 
 
 with  some  peculiar  temptations.  On  Tuesday  of  this  week  he 
 wrote  the  following  letter  to  an  intimate  and  dear  friend.  It  in- 
 dicates aflfeetions  in  no  ordinary  degree  chastened  and  spiritual. 
 
 '•^Forks  of  Delazvare,  July  31,  1744. 
 
 "' Certainly  the  greatest,  the  noblest  pleasure  of  intelligent 
 
 creatures  must  result  from  their  acquaintance  with  the  blessed 
 God,  and  with  their  own  rational  and  immortal  souls.  O,  how 
 divinely  sweet  and  entertaining  is  it,  to  look  into  our  own  souls, 
 when  we  can  find  all  our  powers  and  passions  united  and  engaged 
 in  pursuit  after  God ;  our  whole  souls  longing  and  passionately 
 breathing  after  a  conformity  to  him,  and  the  full  enjoyment  oi 
 him  !  Verily  no  hours  pass  away  with  so  much  divine  pleasure, 
 as  those  which  are  spent  in  communing  with  God  and  our  own 
 hearts.  O,  how  sweet  is  a  spirit  of  devotion,  a  spirit  of  serious- 
 ness and  divine  solemnity,  a  spirit  of  gospel  simplicity,  love  and 
 tenderness  !  O,  how  desirable,  and  how  profitable  to  the  chris- 
 tian life,  is  a  spirit  of  holy  watchfulness,  and  godly  jealousy  over 
 ourselves  ;  when  our  souls  are  afraid  of  nothing  so  much  as  that 
 we  shall  grieve  and  offend  the  blessed  God,  whom  at  such  times 
 we  apprehend,  or  at  least  hope,  to  ha  ^  Father  and  Friend^  whom 
 we  then  love  and  long  to  please,  rather  than  to  be  happy  ourselves.-, 
 or  at  least  we  delight  to  derive  our  happiness  from  pleasing  and 
 glorifying  him  !  Surely  this  is  a  pious  temper,  worthy  of  the 
 highest  ambition  and  closest  pursuit  of  intelligent  creatures  and 
 holy  christians.  O,  how  vastly  superior  are  the  pleasure,  peace, 
 and  satisfaction  derived  from  these  divine  frames,  to  that  which 
 we,  alas!  sometimes  pursue  in  things  impertinent  and  trifling  • 
 Our  own  bitter  experience  teaches  us,  that  "  in  the  midst  of  such 
 laughter  the  heart  is  sorrowful,"  and  there  is  no  true  satisfaction 
 but  in  God.  But,  alas!  how « shall  we  obtain  and  retain  this 
 sweet  spirit  of  religion  and  devotion  ?  Let  us  follow  the  apostle's 
 direction,  Phil.  ii.  12.  and  labour  upon  the  encouragement  which 
 he  there  mentions,  ver.  13.  for  it  is  God  only  can  afford  us  this 
 favour ;  and  he  will  be  sought  to,  and  it  is  fit  we  should  wait  upon 
 him  for  so  rich  a  mercy.  Oh,  may  the  God  of  all  grace  afford  us 
 the  grace  and  influences  of  his  divine  Spirit ;  and  help  us  that  we 
 mny  from  our  hearts  esteem  't  our  greatest  liberty  and  happiness, 
 that  "  whether  we  live,  we  r/iay  live  to  the  Lord,  or  whether  we 
 die,  we  may  die  to  the  Lord  ;"  that  in  life  and  death,  we  mav  be 
 his! 
 
 j/  "  I  am  in  a  v_ej:^L.p^or  state  of  health  ;  I  think,  scarce  ever 
 poorer  :  but,  through  diviiTe"  "goodness,  1   am   not  discontented 
 
160  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 under  my  weakness,  and  confinement  to  this  wilderness.  I  bless 
 God  fof  this  retirement ;  I  never  was  more  thankful  for  any  thing, 
 than  I  have  been  of  late  for  the  necessity  I  an  under  of  self-de- 
 nial in  ma?iy  respects.  I  love  to  be  n pilgrim  and  stranger  in  this 
 wilderness  ;  it  seems  most  fit  for  such  a  poor,  ignorant,  worthless, 
 despised  creature  as  I.  I  would  not  change  my  present  mission 
 for  any  other  business  in  the  whole  world.  I  may  tell  you  freely, 
 without  vanity  and  ostentation,  God  has  of  late  given  me  great 
 freedom  and  fervency  in  prayer,  when  I  have  been  so  weak  and 
 feeble  that  my  nature  seemed  as  if  it  would  speedily  dissolve.  I 
 feel  as  if  myall  was  lost,  and  I  was  undone  for  this  world,  if  the 
 poor  Heathen  may  not  be  converted.  I  feel,  in  general,  differ- 
 ent from  what  I  did,  when  I  saw  you  last;  at  least  more  crucified 
 to  all  the  enjoyments  of  life.  It  would  be  very  refreshing  tome  to 
 see  you  here  in  this  desart ;  especially  in  my  weak  disconsolate 
 hours  ;  but,  I  think,  I  could  be  content  never  to  see  you,  or  any 
 of  my  friends  again  in  this  world,  if  God  would  bless  my  labours 
 here  to  the  conversion  of  the  poor  Indians. 
 
 "  I  have  much  that  I  could  willingly  communicate  to  you,  which 
 I  must  omit  till  Providence  gives  us  leave  to  see  each  other.  In 
 the  mean  time,  I  rest 
 
 "  Your  obliged  friend  and  servant, 
 
 "  David  Brainerd." 
 
 Concerning  the  next  five  days  he  writes  thus  :  "  Lord^s  day^ 
 Augnsi  5,  was  still  very  poor.  But,  though  very  weak,  I  visited 
 and  preached  to  the  poor  Indians  twice,  and  was  strengthened 
 vastly  beyond  my  expectations.  Indeed,  the  Lord  gave  me  some 
 freedom  and  fervency  in  addressing  them  ;  though  I  had  not 
 strength  enough  to  stan(.l,  but  was  obliged  to  sit  down  the  whole 
 time.  Towards  night,  was  extremely  weak,  faint,  sick,  and  full  of 
 pain.  I  have  continued  much  in  the  same  slate  I  was  in  last 
 week,  through  most  of  this,  (it  being  now  Friday,)  unable  to  en- 
 gage in  any  business  ;  frequently  unable  to  pray  in  the  family. 
 I  am  obliged  to  let  all  my  thoughts  and  concerns  run  at  random  ; 
 for  I  have  not  strength  to  read,  meditate,  or  pray  :  and  this  nat- 
 urally perplexes  my  mind.  I  seem  to  myself  like  a  man  that  has 
 all  his  estate  embarked  in  one  small  boat,  unhappily  going  adrift, 
 down  a  swift  torrent.     The  poor  owner  sta.nds  on   the  shore,  and 
 
 looks,  and  laments  his  loss But,  alas  !  though  my  all  seems  to 
 
 be  adrift,  and  I  stand  and  see  it,  1  dare  not  lament ;  for  this  sinks 
 my  spirits  more,  and  aggravates  my  bodily  disorders  !  I  am  forced 
 therefore  to  divert  myself  with  trifles;  although  at  the  same  time 
 I  am  afraid,  and  often  feel  as  if  I  was  guilty  of  the  misimprove- 
 ment   of  time.     And   oftentimes   my  conscience  is  so  exercised. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  161 
 
 with  this  miserable  way  of  spending  time,  that  I  have  no  peace ; 
 though  I  have  no  strength  of  mind  or  body  to  improve  it  to  better 
 purpose.     Oh  that  God  would  pity  my  distressed  state !'' 
 
 The  next  three  we<ks,    his  illness  was  less  severe;  and  he  was 
 in    some  degree  capable    of  business,   both    public  and    private; 
 though  he  had  some  turns  wherein  his  indisposition  prevailed  to  a 
 great  degree.     He  had  generally  also  much    more  inward  assist- 
 ance, and   strength  of  mind.     He  often  expresses  great  longings 
 for  the  enlargement  of  Cnrist''s  kingdom,  especially  by  the   con- 
 version of  the  heathen  to  God ;  and  speaks  of  this  hope  as  all  his 
 delight  and  joy.     He  continues  still  to  express  his  usual  desires 
 after  holiness,  living  to  God,  and  a  sense  of  his  own  unworthiness.  ^ 
 He  several  times  speaks  of  his  appearing  to  himself  the  vilest  crea-" 
 ture  on  earth;  and  once  says,  that  he  verily  thought  there   v/ere 
 none  of  God's  children,  who  fell  so  far  short  of  that  holiness,  and 
 perfection  in  their  obedience,  which  God  requires,  as  he.     He 
 speaks    of  his  feeling  more  dead  than  ever  to  the  enjoyments  of 
 the  world.     He  sometimes  mentions  the  special  assistance  which 
 he    had  at  this  time,  in    preaching  to  the  Indians,  and  the    ap- 
 pearances of  religious  concern  amon^^  them.     He    speaks  also  of 
 assistance   in  prayer  for  absent   friends,  and   especially  ministers 
 and  candidates  for  the  ministry  ;  and  of  much  comfort  which  he 
 enjoyed   in    the  company   of  some   ministers   who   came  to  visit 
 him. 
 
 Sept.  1.  "  Was  so  far  strengthened,  after  a  season  of  great 
 weakness,  that  I  was  able  to  spend  two  or  three  hours  in  writing 
 on  a  divine  subject.  Enjoyed  some  comfort  and  sweetness  in 
 things  divine  and  sacred  ;  and  as  my  bodily  strength  was  in  some 
 measure  restored,  so  my  soul  seemed  to  be  somewhat  vigorous, 
 and  engaged  in  the  things  of  God. 
 
 Lord's  day,  Sept.  2.  "  Was  enabled  to  speak  to  my  poor  In- 
 dians with  much  concern  and  fervency;  and  I  am  persuaded,  that 
 God  enabled  me  to  exercise  faith  in  him,  while  I  was  speaking  to 
 them.  I  perceived  that  some  of  them  were  afraid  to  hearken  to 
 and  embrace  Christianity,  lest  they  should  be  enchanted  and 
 poisoned  by  some  of  the  powaws:  but  I  was  enabled  to  plead 
 with  them  not  to  fear  these  ;  and,  confiding  in  God  for  safety  and 
 deliverance,  I  bid  a  challenge  to  all  these  powers  of  darkness,  to 
 do  their  worst  on  me  first.  I  told  my  people  that  I  was  a  Chris- 
 tian, and  asked  them  why  the  powaws  did  not  bewitch  and  poison 
 me.  I  scarcely  ever  felt  more  sensible  of  my  own  unworthiness, 
 than  in  this  action.  I  saw  that  the  honour  of  God  was  concerned 
 in  the  affair;  and  desired  to  be  preserved — not  from  selfish  view?, 
 
 21 
 
162  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 but — for  a  testimony  of  the  divine  power  and  goodness,  and 
 of  the  truth  of  Christianity,  and  that  God  might  be  glorifi- 
 ed. Afterwards,  I  found  my  soul  rejoice  in  God  for  his  assisting 
 grace." 
 
 After  this,  he  went  a  journey  into  New-England,  and  was  absent 
 from  the  place  of  his  abode,  at  the  Forks  of  Delaware,  about 
 three  weeks.  He  was  in  a  feeble  state  the  greater  part  of  the  time. 
 But  in  the  latter  part  of  the  journey,  he  found  that  he  gained 
 much  in  health  and  strength.  As  to  the  state  of  his  mind,  and 
 his  religious  and  spiritual  exercises,  it  was  much  with  him  as 
 usual  in  hisjournies;  excepting  that  the  frame  of  his  mind  seem- 
 ed more  generally  to  be  comfortable.  But  yet  there  are  com- 
 plaints of  some  uncomfortable  seasons,  want  of  fervency,  and 
 w^ant  of  retirements,  and  time  alone  with  God.  In  his  journey, 
 he  did  not  forget  the  Indians;  but  once  and  again  speaks  of  his 
 longing  for  their  conversion. 
 
 Sept.  26.  "Rode  home  to  the  Forks  of  Delaware.  What 
 reason  have  1  to  bless  God,  who  has  preserved  me  in  riding  more 
 than  four  hundred  and  twenty  miles,  and  has  "kept  all  my  bones, 
 that  not  one  of  them  has  been  broken  !"  My  health  likewise  is 
 greatly  recovered.  Oh  that  I  could  dedicate  my  all  to  God  ! 
 This  is  all  the  return  I  can  make  to  him. 
 
 Sept.  27.  "  Was  somewhat  melancholy  ;  had  not  much  free- 
 dom and  comfort  in  prayer  :  my  soul  is  disconsolate  when  God  is 
 withdrawn. 
 
 Sept.  28.  "Spent  the  day  in  prayer,  reading,  and  writing. 
 Felt  some  small  degree  of  warmth  in  prayer,  and  some  desires 
 of  the  enlargement  of  Christ's  kingdom  by  the  conversion  of  the 
 Heathen,  and  that  God  would  make  me  a  "  chosen  vessel,  to  bear 
 his  name  before  them;"  longed  for  grace  to  enable  me  to  be 
 faithful." 
 
 The  next  day,  he  speaks  of  the  same  earnest  desires  for  the 
 advancement  of  Christ's  kingdom,  and  the  conversion  of  the 
 Indians  ;  but  complains  greatly  of  the  ill  effects  of  the  diversions 
 of  his  late  journey,  as  unfixing  his  mind  from  that  degree  of  en- 
 gagedness,  fervency,  and  watchfulness,  which  he  enjoyed  before> 
 The  like  complaints  are  continued  the  day  after. 
 
 Oct.  I.  "Was  engaged  this  day  in  making  preparations  for 
 my  intended  journey  to  the  Susquchannah.  Withdrew  several 
 limes  to  the   woods   for  secret  duties,  and  endeavoured  to  plead 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  163 
 
 for  the  divine  presence  to  go  with  me  to  the  poor  Pagans,  to  whom 
 I  was  going  to  preach  the  gospel.  Towards  night  rode  about  four 
 miles,  and  met  brother  Byram  ;*  who  was  come,  at  my  desire,  to 
 be  my  companion  in  travel  to  the  Indians.  I  rejoiced  to  see  him  ; 
 and,  I  trust,  God  made  his  conversation  profitable  to  me.  I  saw 
 him,  as  I  thought,  more  dead  to  the  world,  its  anxious  cares, 
 and  alluring  objects,  than  I  was  :  and  this  made  me  look  within 
 myself,  and  gave  me  a  greater  sense  of  my  guilt,  ingratitude,  and 
 misery. 
 
 Oct.  2.  ''  Set  out  on  my  journey,  in  company  with  dear  broth- 
 er Byram,  and  my  interpreter,  and  two  chief  Indians  from  the 
 Forks  of  Delaware.  Travelled  about  twenty-five  miles,  and 
 lodged  in  one  of  the  last  houses  on  our  road  ;.  after  which  there 
 was  nothing  but  a  hideous  and  howling  wilderness. 
 
 Oct.  3.  We  went  on  our  way  into  the  w^ilderness,  and  found 
 the  most  difficult  and  dangerous  travelling,  by  far,  that  ever  any 
 of  us  had  seen.  We  had  scarce  any  thing  else  but  lofty  mountains, 
 deep  valleys,  and  hideous  rocks,  to  make  our  w^ay  through. 
 However,  I  felt  some  sweetness  in  divine  things,  part  of  the  Hay, 
 and  had  my  mind  intensely  engaged  in  meditation  on  a  divine 
 subject.  Near  night,  my  beast  on  which  I  rode,  hung  one  of  her 
 legs  in  the  rocks,  and  fell  down  under  me  ;  but  through  divine 
 goodness,  I  was  not  hurt.  However,  she  broke  her  leg ;  and 
 being  in  such  a  hideous  place,  and  near  thirty  miles  from  any 
 house,  I  saw  nothing  that  could  be  done  to  preserve  her  life,  and 
 so  was  obliged  to  kill  her,  and  to  prosecute  my  journey  on  foot. 
 This  accident  made  me  admire  the  divine  goodness  to  me,  that 
 my  bones  were  not  broken,  and  the  multitude  of  them  filled 
 with  strong  pain.  Just  at  dark,  we  kindled  a  fire,  cut  up  a  few 
 bushes,  and  made  a  shelter  over  our  heads,  to  save  us  from  the 
 frost,  which  was  very  hard  that  night  ;  and  committing  our- 
 selves to  God  by  prayer,  we  lay  down  on  the  ground,  and  slept 
 quietly." 
 
 The  next  day,  they  went  forward  on  their  journey,  and  at  night 
 took  up  their  lodgings  in  the  woods  in  like  manner. 
 
 Oct.  5.  "  W^e  reached  the  Susquehannah  river,  at  a  place 
 called  Opeholhaupung,  and  found  there  twelve  Indian  houses. 
 After  I  had  saluted  the  king  in  a  friendly  manner,  I  told  him  mv 
 business,  and  that  my  desire  was  to  teach  them  Chr^tianity.  Af^ 
 ter  some  consultation,  the  Indians  gathered,  and  I  preached  to 
 them.  And  when  I  had  done,  I  asked  if  they  would  hear  me 
 again.  They  replied,  that  they  would  consider  of  it ;  and  soon 
 *  Minister  at  a  place  called  iloffcci7icM.y, about  forty  miles  from  Brainerd's lodgings. 
 
164  BIExMOiRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 after  sent  me  word,  that  they  would  immediately  attend,  if  I 
 would  preach:  which  1  did,  with  freedom,  both  times.  When  I 
 asked  them  again,  whether  they  would  hear  me  further,  they  re- 
 plied, they  would  the  next  day.  I  was  exceeding  sensible  of  the 
 impossibility  of  doing  any  thing  for  the  poor  Heathen  without 
 special  assistance  from  above  ;  and  my  soul  seemed  to  rest  on  God, 
 and  leave  it  to  him  to  do  as  he  pleased  in  that  which  I  saw  was  his 
 own  cause.  Indeed,  through  divine  goodness,  I  had  felt  some- 
 what of  this  frame  most  of  the  time  while  I  was  travelling  thither; 
 and  in  some  measure  before  I  set  out. 
 
 Oct.  6.  "Rose  early  and  besought  the  Lord  for  help  in  my 
 great  work.  Near  noon,  preached  again  to  the  Indians  ;  and  in 
 the  afternoon,  visited  them  from  house  to  house,  and  invited  them 
 to  come  and  hear  me  again  the  next  day,  and  put  off  their  hunt- 
 ing design,  which  they  were  just  entering  upon,  till  Monday. 
 "  This  night,"  I  trust,  "  the  Lord  stood  by  me,"  to  encourage  and 
 strengthen  my  soul :  I  spent  more  than  an  hour  in  secret  retire- 
 ment; was  enabled  to  "pour  out  my  heart  before  God,"  for  the 
 increase  of  grace  in  my  soul,  for  ministerial  endowments,  for 
 success  among  the  poor  Indians,  for  God's  ministers  and  people, 
 for  distant  dear  friends,  &ic.     Blessed  be  GodT^ 
 
 The  next  day,  he  complains  of  great  want  of  fixedness  and 
 mtenseness  in  religion,  so  that  he  could  not  keep  any  spiritual 
 thought  one  minute  without  distraction;  which  occasioned  anguish 
 of  spirit.  He  felt  amazingly  guilty,  and  extremely  miserable; 
 and  cries  out,  "  O,  my  soul,  what  death  it  is,  to  have  the  affec- 
 tions unable  to  centre  in  God,  by  reason  of  darkness,  and  conse- 
 quent roving  after  that  satisfaction  elsewhere,  that  is  only  to  be 
 found  here  !"  However,  he  preached  twice  to  the  Indians  with 
 considerable  freedom  and  power;  but  was  afterwards  damped  by 
 the  objections  they  made  against  Christianity,  In  the  evening,  in 
 a  sense  of  his  great  defects  in  preaching,  he  "  intreated  God  not 
 to  impute  to  him  blood-guiltiness;"  but  yet  was  at  the  same  time 
 enabled  to  rejoice  in  God. 
 
 Oct.  8.  "Visited  the  Indians  with  a  design  to  take  my  leave 
 of  them,  supposing  they  would  this  morning  go  out  to  hunting 
 early  ;  but  beyond  my  expectation  and  hope,  they  desired  to  hear 
 me  preach  a§]jn.  I  gladly  complied  with  their  request,  and  af- 
 terwards endeavoured  to  answer  their  objections  against  Chris- 
 tianity. Then  they  went  away  ;  and  we  spent  the  rest  of  the 
 afternoon  in  reading  and  prayer,  intending  to  go  home-ward 
 very  early  the  next  day.     My  soul  was  in  some  measure  refresh- 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  165 
 
 ed  in  secret  prayer  and  meditation.     Blessed  be  the  Lord  jor  all 
 his  goodness, 
 
 Oct.  9.  "  We  rose  about  four  in  the  morning,  and  commend- 
 ing ourselves  to  God  by  prayer,  and  asking  his  special  protection, 
 we  set  out  on  our  journey  homewards  abou?  five,  and  travelled 
 with  great  steadiness  till  past  six  at  night ;  and  then  made  us  a 
 fire,  and  a  shelter  of  barks,  and  so  rested.  I  had  some  clear  and 
 comfortable  thoughts  on  a  divine  subject,  by  the  way,  towards 
 night. — In  the  night,  the  wolves  howled  around  us  ;  but  God 
 preserved  us." 
 
 The  next  day,  they  rose  early,  and  set  forward,  and  travelled 
 that  day  till  they  came  to  an  Irish  settlement,  with  which  Brain- 
 ERD  was  acquainted,  and  lodged  there.  He  speaks  of  some 
 sweetness  in  divine  things,  and  thankfulness  to  God  for  his  good- 
 ness to  him  in  "his  journey,  though  attended  with  shame  for  his 
 barrenness.  On  Thursday,  he  continued  in  the  same  place  ;  and 
 both  he  and  Mr.  Byram  preached  there  to  the  people. 
 
 Oct,  12.  ^' Rode  home  to  my  lodgings;  where  I  poured  out 
 my  soul  to  God  in  secret  prayer,  and  endeavoured  to  bless  him 
 for  his  abundant  goodness  to  me  in  my  late  journey.  I  scarcely 
 ever  enjoyed  more  health,  at  least,  of  later  years ;  and  God  mar- 
 vellously, and  almost  miraculously,  supported  me  under  the  fa- 
 tigues of  the  way,  and  travelling  on  foot.  Blessed  be  the  Lord, 
 who  continually  preserves  me  in  all  my  ways." 
 
 On  Saturday,  he  went  again  to  the  Irish  settlement,  to  spen^ 
 the  Sabbath  there,  his  Indians  being  gone. 
 
 Lord''sday,  Oct.  14.  "Was  much  confused  and  perplexed  in 
 my  thoughts  ;  could  not  pray;  and  was  almost  discouraged,  think- 
 ing I  should  never  be  able  to  preach  any  more.  Afterwards,  God 
 was  pleased  to  give  me  some  r(  lief  from  these  confusions;  but 
 still  I  was  afraid,  and  even  troubled  before  God.  I  went  to  the 
 place  of  public  worship,  lifting  up  my  heart  to  God  for  assistance 
 and  grace,  in  my  great  work  :  and  God  was  gracious  to  me, 
 helping  me  to  plead  with  him  for  holiness,  and  to  use  the  strongest 
 arguments  with  him,  drawn  from  the  incarnation  and  sufferings  of 
 Christ  for  this  very  end,  that  men  might  be  made  holy.  After- 
 wards, I  was  much  assisted  in  preaching.  I  know  not  that  ever 
 God  helped  me  to  preach  in  a  more  close  and  distinguishing  man- 
 ner for  the  trial  of  men's  state.  Through  the  infinite  goodness 
 of  God,  I   felt  what  I  spoke ;  he  enabled  me  to  treat  on  divine 
 
166  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 truth  with  uncommon  clearness ;  and  yet  I  was  so  sensible  of  my 
 defects  in  preaching,  that  I  could  not  be  proud  of  my  perform- 
 ance, as  at  some  times;  and  blessed  be  the  Lord  for  this  mercy. 
 In  the  evening,  I  longed  to  be  entirely  alone,  to  bless  God  for 
 help  in  a  time  of  extremity  ;  and  longed  for  great  degrees  of  holi- 
 ness, that  I  might  shew  my  gratitude  to  God." 
 
 The  next  morning,  he  spent  sometime  before  sun-rise  in  prayer, 
 in  the  same  sweet  and  grateful  frame  of  mind,  that  he  had  been  in 
 the  evening  before  ;  and  afterwards  went  to  his  Indians,  and  spent 
 some  time  in  teaching  and  exhorting  them. 
 
 Oct.  16.  "Felt  a  spirit  of  solemnity  and  watchfulness  ;  was 
 afraid  I  should  not  live  to  and  upon  God :  longed  for  more  in- 
 tenseness  and  spirituality.  Spent  the  day  in  writing  ;  frequently 
 lifting  up  my  heart  to  God  for  more  heavenly  mindedness.  In 
 the  evening,  enjoyed  sweet  assistance  in  prayer;  thirsted  and 
 pleaded  to  be  as  holy  as  the  blessed  angels;  longed  for  ministerial 
 gifts  and  graces,  and  success  in  my  work;  was  sweetly  assisted  in 
 the  duty  of  intercession  ;  and  enabled  to  remember  and  plead  for 
 numbers  of  dear  friends,  and  of  Christ's  ministers." 
 
 He  seemed  to  have  much  of  the  same  frame  of  mind  the  two 
 next  days. 
 
 Oct.  19.  "Felt  an  abasing  sense  of  my  own  impurity  and  un- 
 holiness;  and  felt  my  soul  melt  and  mourn,  that  I  had  abused  and 
 grieved  a  very  gracious  God,  who  was  still  kind  to  me,  notwith- 
 standing all  my  unworthiness.  My  soul  enjoyed  a  sweet  season 
 of  bitter  repentance  and  sorrov/,  that  I  had  wronged  that  blessed 
 God,  who,  I  was  persuaded,  was  reconciled  to  me  in  his  dear 
 Son.  My  soul  was  now  tender,  devout,  and  solemn.  And  I  was 
 afraid  of  nothing  but  sin ;  and  afraid  of  that  in  every  action  and 
 thought." 
 
 The  four  next  days,  were  manifestly  spent  in  a  most  constant 
 tenderness,  watchfulness,  diligence,  and  self-diffidence.  But  he 
 complains  of  wanderings  of  mind,  languor  of  affections,  Sic. 
 
 Oct.  24.  "Near  noon,  rode  to  my  people;  spent  some  time, 
 and  prajed  with  them:  felt  the  frame  of  a  Jp^7^•rm  on  earth  ; 
 longed  much  to  leave  this  gloomy  mansion  ;  but  yet  found  the 
 exercise  of  patience  and  resignation.  And  as  I  returned  home 
 from  the   Indians,  spent  the  whole  time  in  lifting  up  my  heart  to 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  167 
 
 God.  In  the  evening,  enjoyed  a  blessed  season  alone  in  prayer ; 
 was  enabled  to  cry  to  God  with  a  child-like  spirit,  for  the  space  of 
 near  an  hour;  enjoyed  a  sweet  freedom  in  supplicating  for  myself, 
 for  dear  friends,  ministers,  and  some  who  are  preparing  for  that 
 work,  and  for  the  church  of  God  ;  and  longed  to  be  as  lively 
 myself  in  God's  service  as  the  angels. 
 
 Oct.  25.  "  Was  busy  in  writing.  Was  very  sensible  of  my 
 absolute  dependence  on  God  in  all  respects ;  saw  that  I  could  do 
 nothing,  even  in  those  affairs  for  which  I  have  sufficient  natural 
 faculties,  unless  God  should  smile  upon  my  attempt.  "Not  that 
 we  are  sufficient  of  ourselves,  to  think  any  thing,  as  of  ourselves," 
 I  saw  was  a  sacred  truth 
 
 Oct.  26.  "  In  the  morning,  my  soul  was  melted  with  a  sense 
 of  divine  goodness  and  mercy  to  such  a  vile  unworthy  worm.  I 
 delighted  to  lean  upon  God,  and  place  my  whole  trust  in  him. 
 My  soul  was  exceedingly  grieved  for  sin,  and  prized,  and  longed 
 after  holiness  ;  it  w^ounded  my  heart  deeply,  yet  sweetly,  to  think 
 how  I  had  abused  a  kind  God.  I  longed  to  be  perfectly  holy,  that 
 I  might  not  grieve  a  gracious  God;  who  will  continue  to  love, 
 notwithstanding  his  love  is  abused !  I  longed  for  holiness  more 
 for  this  end,  than  I  did  for  my  own  happiness'  sake  :  and  yet  this 
 was  my  greatest  happiness,  never  more  to  dishonour,  but  always 
 to  glorify  the  blessed  God.  Afterwards,  rode  up  to  the  Indians, 
 in  the  afternoon,  &ic." 
 
 The/ow  next  days,  he  was  exercised  with  much  disorder  and 
 pain  of  body,  with  a  degree  of  melancholy  and  gloominess  of 
 mind,  bitterly  complaining  of  deadness  and  unprofitableness,  yet 
 mourning  and  longing  after  God. 
 
 Oct.  31.  "  Was  sensible  of  my  barrenness  and  decays  in  the 
 things  of  God  :  my  soul  failed  when  I  remembered  the  fervency 
 which  I  had  enjoyed  at  the  throne  of  grace.  O,  I  thought,  if  f 
 could  but  be  spiritual,  warm,  heavenly-minded,  and  affectionate- 
 ly breathing  after  God,  this  would  be  better  than  life  to  me  !  My 
 soul  longed  exceedingly  for  death,  to  be  loosed  from  this  dulness 
 and  barrenness,  and  made  for  ever  active  in  the  service  of  God. 
 I  seemed  to  live  for  nothing,  and  to  do  no  good  :  and  O,  the  bur- 
 den of  such  a  life  !  O  death,  death,  my  kind  friend,  hasten,  and 
 deliver  me  from  dull  mortality,  and  make  me  spiritual  and  vigo- 
 rous to  eternity  ! 
 
 JVov.  I.  ''  Had  but  little  sweetness  in  divine  things  ;  but  after- 
 wards, in  the  evenings  felt  some  life,  and  longings  after  God.  I 
 longed  to  be  always  solemn,  devout,  and  heavenly-minded;  and 
 
168  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 was  afraid  to  leave  off  praying,  lest  I  should  again  lose  a  sense  oi' 
 the  sweet  things  of  God. 
 
 Jsfov.  2.  "  Was  filled  with  sorrow  and  confusion,  in  the  morn- 
 ing, and  could  enjoy  no  sweet  sense  of  divine  things,  nor  get  any 
 relief  in  prayer.  Saw  I  deserved  that  every  one  of  God's  crea- 
 tures should  be  let  loose,  to  be  the  executioners  of  his  wrath 
 against  me  ;  and  yet  therein  saw  I  deserved  what  1  did  not  fear 
 as  my  portion.  About  noon,  rode  up  to  the  Indians  ;  and  while 
 going,  could  feel  no  desires  for  them,  and  even  dreaded  to  say 
 any  thing  to  them ;  but  God  was  pleased  to  give  me  some  free- 
 dom and  enlargement,  and  made  the  season  comfortable  to  me. 
 In  the  evening,  had  enlargement  in  prayer.  But,  alas  !  what 
 comforts  and  enlargements  I  have  felt  for  these  many  weeks  past 
 have  been  only  transient  and  short;  and  the  greater  part  of  my  time 
 has  been  filled  up  with  deadness,  or  struggles  with  deadness,  and 
 bitter  conflicts  with  corruption.  I  have  found  myself  exercised 
 sorely  with  some  particular  things  that  I  thought  myself  most  of 
 all  freed  from.  And  thus  I  have  ever  found  it,  when  I  have 
 thought  the  battle  was  over,  and  the  conquest  gained,  and  so  let 
 down  my  watch,  the  enemy  has  risen  up  and  done  me  tlie  greatest 
 injury. 
 
 J^ov,  3.  "  I  read  the  life  and  trials  of  a  godly  man,  and  was 
 much  warmed  by  it :  I  wondered  at  my  past  deadness  ;  and  was 
 more  convinced  of  it  than  ever.  Was  enabled  to  confess  and 
 bewail  my  sin  before  God,  with  self-abhorrence. 
 
 LorcVs  day,  J^ov,  4.  '*  Had,  I  think,  some  exercise  of  faith  in 
 prayer,  in  the  morning  :  longed  to  be  spiritual.  Had  considera- 
 ble help  in  preaching  to  my  poor  Indians:  was  encouraged  with 
 them,  and  hoped  that  God  designed  mercy  for  them." 
 
 The  next  day,  Nov.  5,  he  concluded  the  following  letter  to 
 Rev.  Mr.  Pemberton,  of  New  York,  giving  an  account  of  his  la- 
 bours and  success,  both  at  Kaunaumeek  and  at  the  Forks  of  Del- 
 aware. 
 
 TO  THE  REV. EBENEZER  PEMBERTOK. 
 
 Forks  of  Dclazvare,  JS''oi\  5,  1744. 
 "Rev.  Sir. 
 
 "  Since  you  are  pleased  to  require  of  me  some  brief  and  gen- 
 eral account  of  my  conduct  in  the  affair  of  my  mission  among  the 
 Indians  ;  the  pains  and  endeavours  I  have  used  to  propagate 
 Christian  knowledge  among  them  ;  the  difficulties  I  have  met  with 
 in  pursuance  of  that  great  work ;  and  the  hopeful  and  encourag- 
 ing appearances  I  have  pbserved  in  any  of  them ;  I  shall   now 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  169 
 
 endeavour  to  answer  your  demands,  by  giving  a  brief  but  faithful 
 account  of  the  most  material  things  relating  to  that  important  affair, 
 with  which  I  have  been  and  am  still  concerned.  This  I  shall  do 
 with  more  freedom  and  cheerfulness,  both  because  I  apprehend 
 it  will  be  a  likely  means  to  give  pious  persons,  who  are  concern- 
 ed for  the  kingdom  of  Christ,  some  just  apprehension  of  the 
 many  and  great  difficulties  that  attend  the  propagation  of  it  among 
 the  poor  Pagans ;  and  consequently,  it  is  hoped,  will  engage 
 their  more  frequent  and  fervent  prayers  to  God,  that  those  may 
 be  succeeded,  who  are  employed  in  this  arduous  work.  Besides, 
 I  persuade  myself,  that  the  tidings  of  the  gospel  spreading  among 
 the  poor  Heathen,  will  be,  to  those  who  are  waiting  for  the  ac- 
 complishment of  the  "  glorious  things  spoken  of  the  city  of  our 
 God,"  as  ''  good  news  from  a  far  country;"  and  that  these  will  be 
 so  far  from  "  despising  the  day  of  small  things,"  that,  on  the  con- 
 trary, the  least  dawn  of  encouragement  and  hope,  in  this  im- 
 portant affair,  will  rather  inspire  their  pious  breasts  with  more 
 generous  and  warm  desires,  that  "  the  kingdoms  of  this  world, 
 may  speedily  become  the  kingdoms  of  our  Lord,  and  of  his 
 Christ." — I  shall  therefore  immediately  proceed  to  the  business 
 before  me,  and  briefly  touch  upon  the  most  important  matters 
 thathave  concerned  my  mission,  from  the  beginning  to  this  present 
 time.  — 
 
 "  On  March  15,  1743,  I  waited  on  the  Correspondents  for  the 
 Indian  mission  at  New  York;  and  the  week  following,  attended 
 their  meeting  at  Woodbridge,  in  New  Jersey,  and  was  speedily 
 dismissed  by  them  with  orders  to  attempt  the  instruction  of  a 
 number  of  Indians  in  a  place  some  miles  distant  from  the  city  of 
 Albany.  And  on  the  first  day  of  April  following,  1  arrived  among 
 the  Indians,  at  a  place  called  by  them  Kaunaumeek,  in  the 
 county  of  Albany,  nearly  twenty  miles  distant  from  the  city 
 eastward. 
 
 "  The  place,  as  to  its  situation,  was  sufficiently  lonesome  and 
 unpleasant,  being  encompassed  with  mountains  and  woods ;  twen- 
 ty miles  distant  from  any  English  inhabitants  ;  six  or  seven  from 
 any  Dutch  ;  and  more  than  two  from  a  family  that  came,  some 
 time  since,  from  the  Highlands  of  Scotland,  and  had  then  lived, 
 as  I  remember,  about  two  years  in  this  wilderness.  In  this  fam- 
 ily I  lodged  about  the  space  ef  three  months,  the  master  of  it 
 being  the  only  person  with  whom  I  could  readily  converse  in 
 those  parts,  except  my  interpreter ;  others  understanding  very 
 little  English. 
 
 "After  I  had  spent  about  three  months  in  this  situation,  I  found 
 my  distance  from  the  Indians  a  very  great  disadvantage  to  my 
 work   among  them,    and  very   burdensome  to  myself;  as  I   was 
 
 22 
 
170  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 obliged  to  travel  forward  and  backward  almost  daily  on  foot, 
 having  no  pasture  in  which  I  could  keep  my  horse  for  that  pur- 
 pose. And  after  all  my  pains,  could  not  be  with  the  Indians  in 
 the  evening  and  morning,  which  were  usually  the  best  hours  to 
 find  them  at  home,  and  when  they  could  best  attend  my  instruc- 
 tions.— I  therefore  resolved  to  remove,  and  live  with  or  near  the 
 Indians,  that  I  might  watch  all  opportunities,  when  they  were 
 S^cnerally  at  home,  and  take  the  advantage  of  such  seasons  for 
 their  instructions. 
 
 "  Accordingly  I  removed  soon  after  ;  and,  for  some  time,  lived 
 wMth  them  in  one  of  iheirioigzvams^  and,  not  long  after,  built  me 
 a  smal!  house,  where  1  spent  the  remainder  of  that  year  entirely 
 alone;  my  interpreter,  who  was  an  Indian,  choosing  rather  to 
 live  in  a  wigman  among  his  own  countrymen. — This  way  of  liv- 
 ing I  found  attended  with  many  difficulties,  and  uncomfortable 
 circumstances,  in  a  place  where  I  could  get  none  of  the  necessa- 
 ries and  common  comforts  of  life,  (no,  not  so  much  as  a  morsel  of 
 bread,)  but  what  I  brought  from  places  fifteen  and  twenty  miles 
 distant,  and  oftentimes  was  obliged,  for  some  time  together,  to 
 content  myself  without,  for  want  of  an  opportunity  to  procure 
 the  things  I  needed. 
 
 ''  But  although  the  difficulties  of  this  solitary  w^ay  of  living  are 
 not  the  least,  or  most  inconsiderable,  (and  doubtless  are,  in  fact, 
 many  more  and  greater  to  those  who  experience^  than  they  can 
 readily  appear  to  those  who  only  view  them  at  a  distance,)  yet  I 
 can  truly  say  that  the  burden  I  felt  respecting  my  great  work 
 among  the  poor  Indians,  the  fear  and  concern  that  continually 
 hung  upon  my  spirit,  lest  they  should  be  prejudiced  against  Chris- 
 tianity, and  their  minds  imbittered  against  me,  and  my  labours 
 among  them  by  means  of  the  insinuations  of  some  who,  although 
 they  are  called  Christians^  seem  to  have  no  concern  for  Christ's 
 kingdom,  but  had  rather  (as  their  conduct  plainly  discovers)  that 
 the  Indians  should  remain  Heathens,  that  they  may  with  the  more 
 ease  cheat,  and  so  enrich  themselves  by  them — were  much  more 
 pressing  to  me,  than  all  the  difficulties  that  attended  the  circum- 
 stances of  my  living. 
 
 "  As  to  the  slate  or  temper  of  mind  in  which  I  found  these  In- 
 dians, at  my  first  coming  among  them,  I  may  justly  say,  it  was 
 much  more  desirable  and  encouraging,  than  what  appears  among 
 those  who  are  altogether  uncultivated.  Their  Heathenish  jeal- 
 ousies and  suspicion,  and  their  prejudices  against  Christianity, 
 were  in  a  great  measure  removed  by  the  long-continued  labours 
 of  the  Reverend  Mr.  Sargeant  among  a  number  of  the  same 
 tribe,  in  a  place  little  more  than  twenty  miles  distant.  Hence, 
 these    were,  in   some  good  degree,  prepared   to   entertain  the 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  171 
 
 truths  of  Christianity,  instead  of  objecting  against  them,  and 
 appearing  almost  entirely  untractahle,  as  is  common  with  them 
 at  first,  and  as,  perhaps,  these  appeared  a  (cw  years  ago. 
 Some  of  them,  at  least,  appeared  very  well  disposed  towards 
 religion,  and  seemed  much  pleased  with  my  coming  among 
 them. 
 
 "  In  my  labours  with  them,  in  order  to  "  turn  them  from  dark- 
 ness to  light,"  I  studied  what  was  most  plain  and  casj/,  and  best 
 suited  to  their  capacities  ;  and  endeavoured  to  set  before  them 
 from  time  to  time,  as  they  were  able  to  receive  them,  the  most 
 important  and  necessary  truths  of  Christianity  ;  such  as  most  im- 
 mediately concerned  their  speedy  conversion  to  God,  and  such 
 as  I  judged  had  the  greatest  tendency,  as  means,  to  effect  that 
 glorious  change  in  them.  But  especially  I  made  it  the  scope  and 
 drift  of  all  my  labours,  to  lead  them  into  a  thorough  acquaintance 
 with  these  two  things — First,  The  sinfulness  and  misery  of  the  . 
 estate  they  were  naturally  m-,  the  evil  of  their  hearts,  the  pollu-  I 
 tion  of  their  natures;  the  heavy  guilt  they  were  under,  and  their 
 exposedness  to  everlasting  punishment ;  as  also  their  utter  inabili- 
 ty to  save  themselves,  either  from  their  sins,  or  from  those  mise- 
 ries which  are  the  just  punishment  of  them  ;  and  their  unworthi- 
 iiess  of  any  mercy  at  the  hand  of  God,  on  account  of  any  thing 
 they  themselves  could  do  to  procure  his  favour,  and  consequent- 
 ly their  extreme  need  of  Christ  to  save  them. And,  secondly, 
 
 I  frequently  endeavoured  to  open  to  them  the  fulness,  all-suffi- 
 ciency, diwd.  frteness  of  that  redemption,  which  the  Son  of  God  has 
 wrought  out  by  his  obedience  and  sufferings,  for  perishing  sinners: 
 how  this  provision  he  had  made,  was  suited  to  all  their  wants; 
 and  how  he  called  and  invited  them  to  accept  of  everlasting 
 life  freely,  notwithstanding  all  their  sinfulness,  inability,  unwor- 
 thiness,  &;c. 
 
 "  After  I  had  been  with  the  Indians  several  months,  I  composed     j^ 
 sundry  forms   of  prayer,  adapted  to  their  circumstances  and  ca-     *^ 
 pacities  ;  which,  with  the  help   of  my  interpreter,  I   translated 
 into  the  Indian  language  ;  and  soon  learned  to  pronounce  their 
 words,  so  as  to  pray  with  them  in  their  own  tongue.     1  also  trans- 
 lated sundry  psalms  into  their  language,  and  soon  after  we  were   ^' 
 able  to  sing  inlhe  worship  of  God. 
 
 "When  my  people  had  gained  some  acquaintance  with  many  of 
 the  truths  of  Christianity,  so  that  they  were  capable  of  receiving 
 and  understanding  many  others,  which  at  first  could  not  be  taught 
 them,  by  reason  of  their  ignorance  of  those  that  were  necessary 
 to  be  previously  known,  and  upon  which  others  depended  ;  I  then 
 gave  them  an  historical  account  of  God's  dealings  with  his  ancient  U 
 professing  people  the  Jews  ;  some  of  the  rites  and    ceremonies 
 
i7ii  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.' 
 
 they  were  obliged  to  observe,  as  their  sacrafices,  &;c.;  and  what 
 these  were  designed  to  represent  to  them  :  as  also  sonne  of  the 
 surprising  miracles  God  wrought  for  their  salvation,  while  they 
 trusted  in  hinn,  and  sore  punishments  he  sonnetimes  brought  upon 
 them,  when  they  forsook  and  sinned  against  him.  Afterwards  I 
 proceeded  to  give  them  a  relation  of  the  birth,  life,  miracles, 
 sufierings,  death,  and  resurrection  of  Christ;  as  well  as  his  as- 
 cension, and  the  wonderful  effusion  of  the  holy  Spirit  consequent 
 thereupon. 
 
 "And  having  thus  endeavoured  to  prepare  the  way  by  such  a 
 general  account  of  things,  I  next  proceeded  to  read  and  ex^wuud 
 y  to  them  the  gospel  of  St.  Matthew  (at  least  the  substance  of  it)  in 
 course,  wherein  they  had  a  more  distinct  and  particular  view  of 
 what  they  had  before  some  general  notiop. — These  expositions  I 
 attended  almost  every  evening,  when  there  was  any  considerable 
 number  of  THerTTafhomej  except  when  I  was  obliged  to  be  absent 
 myself,  in  order  to  learn  the  Indian  language  with  the  Rev.  Mr. 
 
 Sargeant. Besides  these   means    of    instruction,    there    was 
 
 likewise  an  English  school  constantly  kept  by  my  interpreter 
 among  the  Indians  ;  wliicft^I  used  frequently  to  visit,  in  order  to 
 give  the  children  and  young  people  some  proper  instructions,  and 
 serious  exhortations  suited  to  their  age. 
 
 The  degree  of  knozvledge  to  which  some  of  them  attained,  was 
 considerable.  Many  of  the  truths  of  Christianity  seemed  fixed 
 in  their  minds,  especially  in  some  instances,  so  that  they  would 
 speak  to  me  of  them,  and  ask  such  questions  about  them,  as 
 were  necessary  to  render  them  more  plain  and  clear  to  their  un- 
 derstandings.— The  children,  also,  and  young  people,  who  at- 
 tended the  school,  made  considerable  proficiency  (at  least  some 
 of  them)  in  their  learning  ;  so  that  had  they  understood  the  Eng- 
 lish language  well,  they  would  have  been  able  to  read  somewhat 
 readily  in  a  psalter, 
 
 '•But  that  which  was  most  of  all  desirable,  and  gave  me  the 
 greatest  encouragement  amidst  many  difficulties  and  disconsolate 
 hours,  was,  that  the  truths  of  God's  word  seemed,  at  times,  to 
 I  be  attended  with  some  power  upon  the  hearts  and  consciences  of 
 I  the  Indians.  And  especially  this  appeared  evident  in  a  few  in- 
 stances, who  were  awakened  to  some  sense  of  their  miserable 
 estate  by  nature,  and  appeared  solicitous  for  diliverance  from  it* 
 Several  of  them  came,  of  their  own  accord,  to  discourse  with  me 
 about  their  souls'  concerns  ;  and  some,  with  tears,  inquired  "what 
 they  should  do  to  be  saved?"  and  whether  the  God  that  Chris- 
 tians served,  would  be  merciful  to  those  that  had  been  frequently 
 drunk,  <S:c. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  173 
 
 '*  And  although  I  cannot  say  that  I  have  satisfactory  evidences 
 of  their  being  "renewed  in  the  spirit  of  their  mind,''  and  saving- 
 ly converted  to  God;  yet  the  Spirit  of  God  did,  I  apprehend,  in 
 such  a  manner  attend  the  means  of  grace,  and  so  operate  upon 
 their  minds  thereby,  as  might  justly  afford  matter  of  encourage- 
 ment to  hope,  that  God  designed  good  to  them,  and  that  he  was 
 preparing  his  way  into  their  souls. 
 
 "  T^ere  hkewise  appeared  a  reformation  in  the  lives  and  man-  t^ 
 ners  of  the  Indians. — Their  idolatrous  sacrajices  (of  which  there 
 was  but  one  or  two,  that  I  know  of,  after  my  coming  among  them) 
 were  wholly  laid  aside.  And  their  Heathenish  custom  of  dancings 
 hallooing,  &;c.  they  seemed  in  a  considerable  measure  to  have 
 abandoned.  And  I  could  not  but  hope,  that  they  were  reformed 
 in  some  measure  from  the  sin  of  drunkenness.  They  likewise 
 manifested  a  regard  for  the  Lord^s  day^  and  not  only  behaved 
 soberly  themselves,  but  took  care  also  to  keep  their  children  in 
 order. 
 
 "Yet,  after  all,  I  must  confess,  that  as  there  were  many  hopeful 
 appearances  among  them,  so  there  were  some  things  more  dis- 
 couraging. And  while  I  rejoiced  to  observe  any  seriousness  and 
 concern  among  them  about  the  affairs  of  their  souls,  still  1  was 
 not  without  continual  fear  and  concern,  lest  such  encouraging 
 appearances  might  prove  "  like  a  morning  cloud,  that  passeth 
 away." 
 
 "  When  I  had  spent  near  a  year  with  the  Indians,  I  informed 
 them  that  I  expected  to  leave  them  in  the  spring  then  approaching, 
 and  to  be  sent  to  another  tribe  of  Indians,  at  a  great  distance  from 
 them.  On  hearing  this,  they  appeared  very  sorrowful,  and  some 
 of  them  endeavoured  to  persuade  me  to  continue  with  them ;  urg- 
 ing that  they  had  now  heard  so  much  about  their  souls^  concerns, 
 that  they  could  never  more  be  willing  to  live  as  they  had  done, 
 without  a  minister,  and  further  instructions  in  the  way  to  heaven, 
 &;c.  Whereupon  I  told  them,  they  ought  to  be  wilhng  that  others 
 also  should  hear  about  their  souls'  concerns,  seeing  those  needed 
 it  as  much  as  themselves.  Yet  further  to  dissuade  me  from  go- 
 ing, they  added,  that  those  Indians,  to  whom  I  had  thoughts  of 
 going  (as  they  had  heard)  were  not  willing  to  become  Christians 
 as  they  were,  and  therefore  urged  me  to  tarry  with  them.  I  then 
 told  them,  xh^Xthey  might  receive  further  instruction  without  me; 
 but  the  Indians,  to  whom  I  expected  to  be  sent,  could  not,  there  be- 
 ing no  minister  near  to  teach  them.  And  hereupon  I  advised  them, 
 in  easel  should  leave  them,  and  be  sent  elsewhere,  to  remove  to 
 Stockbridge,  where  they  might  be  supplied  with  land,  and  conve- 
 niences of  living,  and  be  under  the  ministry  of  the  Rev.  Mr.  Sar- 
 
174  MEMOIUS  OF  BRAINEKD. 
 
 geant :  with  which  advice  and  proposal,  they  seemed  disposed  to 
 comply. 
 
 "  On  April  6,  1744.  1  was  ordered  and  directed  by  the  cor- 
 respondents for  the  Indian  mission,  to  take  leave  of  the  people, 
 with  whom  I  had  then  spent  a  full  year,  and  to  go,  as  soon  as 
 conveniently  I  could,  to  a  tribe  of  Indians  on  Delaware  river  in 
 Pennsylvania. 
 
 "These  orders  I  soon  attended,  and  on  April  29th  tocJ^  leave 
 of  my  people,  who  were  mostly  removed  to  Stockbridge  under 
 the  care  of  the  Rev.  Mr.  Sargeant.  I  then  set  out  on  my  journey 
 toward  Delaware  ;  and  on  May  10th,  met  with  a  number  of  In- 
 dians in  a  place  called  Miunissinks,  about  a  hundred  and  forty 
 miles  from  Kaunaumeek,  (the  place  where  I  spent  the  last  year,) 
 and  directly  in  my  way  to  Delaware  river.  With  these  Indians  I 
 spent  some  time,  and  first  addressed  their  king  in  a  friendly  man- 
 ner; and  after  some  discourse,  and  attempts  to  contract  a  friend- 
 ship with  him,  I  told  him  I  had  a  desire  (for  his  benefit  and  happi- 
 ness) to  instruct  them  in  Chrisfianity.  At  which  he  laughed, 
 turned  his  back  upon  me,  and  went  away.  I  then  addressed  an- 
 other principal  man  in  the  same  manner,  who  said  he  was  willing 
 to  hear  me.  After  some  time,  I  followed  the  king  into  his  house, 
 and  renewed  my  discourse  to  him:  but  he  declined  talking,  and 
 lelt  the  affair  to  another,  who  appeared  to  be  a  rational  man.  He 
 began,  and  talked  very  warmly  near  a  quarter  of  an  hour  together: 
 he  inquired  why  I  desired  the  Indians  to  become  Christians,  see- 
 ing the  Christians  were  so  much  worse  than  the  Indians  are  in 
 their  present  state.  The  Christians,  he  said,  would  lie,  steal, 
 and  drink,  worse  than  the  Indians.  It  was  they  first  taught  the 
 Indians  to  be  drunk :  and  they  stole  from  one  another,  to  that 
 degree,  tliat  their  rulers  were  obliged  to  hang  them  for  it,  and  that 
 was  not  sutficient  to  deter  others  from  the  like  practice-  But  the 
 Indians,  he  added,  were  none  of  them  ever  hanged  for  stealing, 
 and  yet  they  did  not  steal  half  so  much  ;  and  he  supposed  that  if 
 the  Indi'dus  should  become  Christians,  they  would  then  be  as  bad 
 as  these.  And  hereupon  he  said,  they  would  live  as  their  fathers 
 lived,  and  go  where  their  fathers  were  when  they  died.  I  then 
 freely  owned,  lamented,  and  joined  with  him  in  condemning  the  ill 
 conduct  of  some  who  are  called  Christians:  told  him,  these  were 
 not  Christians  in  heart;  that  I  hated  such  wicked  practices,  and 
 did  not  desire  the  Indians  to  become  such  as  these. — And  when 
 he  appeared  calmer,  I  asked  him  if  he  was  willing  that  I  should 
 come  and  see  them  again  ?  He  replied,  he  should  be  willing 
 to  see  me  again,  as  a  friend,  if  I  would  not  desire  them  to  be- 
 come Christians. — I  then  bid  them  farewell,  and  prosecuted  my 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  175 
 
 journey  toward  Delaware.  And  May  13th,  I  arrived  at  a  place  cal- 
 led by  the  Indians  Sakhamvotung,  within  the  Forks  of  Delaware 
 in  Pennsylvania.  ~ 
 
 4  "Here  also,  when  I  came  to  the  Indians,  I  saluted  their  king, 
 and  others,  in  a  manner  I  thought  most  engaging.  And  soon  af- 
 ter informed  the  king  of  my  desire  to  instruct  them  in  the  Chris- 
 tian religion.  After  he  had  consulted  a  few  minutes  with  two  or 
 three  old  men,  he  told  me  he  was  willing  to  hear.  I  then  preach- 
 ed to  those  few  that  were  present;  who  appeared  very  attentive 
 and  well  disposed.  And  the  king  in  particular  seemed  both  to 
 wonder,  and  at  the  same  time  to  be  well  pleased  with  what  I  taught 
 them,  respecting  the  divine  Being, Sic.  And  since  that  time  he 
 has  ever  shewn  himself  friendly  to  me,  giving  me  free  liberty  to 
 preach  in  his  house,  whenever  I  think  fit. — Here  therefore  I  have 
 spent  the  greater  part  of  the  summer  past,  preaching  usually  in  the 
 king's  house. 
 
 "  The  number  of  Indians  in  this  place  is  but  small ;  most  of 
 those  that  formerly  belonged  here,  are  dispersed,  and  removed  to 
 places  farther  back  in  the  country.  There  are  not  more  than  ten 
 houses  hereabouts,  that  continue  to  be  inhabited;  and  some  of 
 these  are  several  miles  distant  from  others,  which  makes  it  diffi- 
 cult for  the  Indians  to  meet  together  so  frequently  as  could  be 
 desired. 
 
 "  When  I  first  began  to  preach  here,  the  number  of  my  hearers 
 was  very  small  ;  often  not  exceeding  twenty  or  twenty-five  persons: 
 but  towards  the  latter  part  of  the  summer,  their  number  increased, 
 so  that  I  have  frequently  had  forty_persons,  or  more,  at  once;  and 
 oftentimes  most  belonging  to  those  p'arts7"c£rTTre~lbgether  to  hear 
 me  preach. 
 
 "  The  effects  which  the  truths  of  God's  word  have  had  upon 
 some  of  thelndians  in  this  place,  are  somewhat  encouraging. 
 Sundry  of  them  are  brought  to  renounce  idolatry,  and  to  decline 
 partaking  of  those  feasts  which  they  used  to  offer  in  sacrafice  to 
 certain  supposed  unknown  powers.  And  some  few  among  them 
 have,  for  a  considerable  time,  manifested  a  serious  concern  for 
 their  souls'  eternal  welfare,  and  still  continue  to  "  inquire  the  way 
 to  Zion,"  with  such  diligence,  affection,  and  becoming  solicitude, 
 as  gives  me  reason  to  hope  that"  God  who,  I  trust,  has  begun  this 
 work  in  them,"  will  carry  it  on,  until  it  shall  issue  in  their  saving 
 conversion  to  himself.  These  not  only  detest  their  old  idolatrous 
 notions,  but  strive  also  to  bring  their  friends  off  from  them.  And 
 as  they  are  seeking  salvation  for  their  own  souls,  so  they  seem  de- 
 sirous, and  some  of  them  take  pains,  that  others  might  be  excited 
 to  do  the  like. 
 
 ^ 
 
176  •  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 "  In  July  last  I  heard  of  a  number  of  Indians  residing  at  a 
 place  called  Kauksesauchung,  more  than  thirty  miles  westward 
 from  the  place  where  I  usually  preach.  I  visited  them,  found 
 about  thirty  persons,  and  proposed  my  desire  of  preaching  to 
 them;  they  readily  complied,  and  I  preached  to  them  only  twice, 
 they  being  just  then  removing  from  this  place  where  they  only 
 lived  for  the  present,  to  Susquehannah-river,  where  they  be- 
 longed. 
 
 "While  I  was  preaching,  they  appeared  sober,  and  attentive; 
 and  were  somewhat  surprised,  having  never  before  heard  of  these 
 things.  There  were  two  or  three  who  suspected  that  I  had  some 
 ill  design  upon  them ;  and  urged,  that  the  white  people  had  abus- 
 ed them,  and  taken  their  lands  from  them,  and  therefore  they  had 
 no  reason  to  think  that  they  were  now  concerned  for  their  happi- 
 ness ;  but,  on  the  contrary,  that  they  designed  to  make  them 
 slaves,  or  get  them  on  board  their  vessels,  and  make  them  fight 
 with  the  people  over  the  water,  (as  they  expressed  it,)  meaning 
 the  French  and  Spaniards.  However,  the  most  of  them  appeared 
 very  friendly,  and  told  me,  they  were  then  going  directly  home 
 to  Susquehannah,  and  desired  I  would  make  them  a  visit  there, 
 and  manifested  a  considerable  desire  of  further  instruction. — This 
 invitation  gave  me  some  encouragement  in  my  great  work ;  and 
 made  me  hope,  that  God  designed  to  "  open  an  effectual  door  to 
 me"  for  spreading  the  gospel  among  the  poor  Heathen  farther 
 westward. 
 
 *'  In  the  beginning  of  October  last,  with  the  advice  and  direction 
 of  the  correspondents  for  the  Indian  mission,  I  undertook  ajourney 
 to  Susquehannah,  And  after  three  days  tedious  travel,  two  of 
 them  through  a  wilderness  almost  unpassable,  by  reason  of  moun- 
 tains and  rocks,  and  two  nights  lodging  in  the  open  wilderness,  I 
 came  to  an  Indian  settlement  on  the  side  of  Susquehannah-river, 
 called  Opeholhaupung;  where  were  twelve  Indian  houses,  and 
 (as  nigh  as  I  could  learn)  about  seventy  souls,  old  and  young,  be- 
 longing to  them. 
 
 "  Here  also,  soon  after  my  arrival,  I  visited  the  king,  addres- 
 sing him  with  expressions  of  kindness  ;  and  after  a  few  words  of 
 friendship,  informed  him  of  my  desire  to  teach  them  the  knowl- 
 edge of  Christianity.  He  hesitated  not  long  before  he  told  me, 
 that  he  was  willing  to  hear.  I  then  preached  ;  and  continued  there 
 several  days,  preaching  everyday,  as  long  as  the  Indians  were  at 
 home.  And  they,  in  order  to  hear  me,  deferred  the  design  of 
 their  general  hunting  (which  they  were  just  then  entering  upon) 
 for  the  space  of  three  or  four  days. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  177 
 
 "The  mm,  I  think  universally  (except  one)  attended  my  preach- 
 ing. Only  the  zuomen,  supposing  the  affair  we  were  upon  wa«  of 
 a  public  nature,  belonging  only  to  the  men,  and  not  what  every 
 individual  person  should  concern  himself  with,  could  not  readily 
 be  persuaded  to  come  and  hear  :  but,  after  much  pains  used  with 
 them  for  that  purpose,  some  few  ventured  to  come,  and  stand  at 
 a  distance. 
 
 "  When  I  had  preached  to  the  Indians  several  times,  some  of 
 them  very  frankly  proposed  what  they  had  to  object  against  Chris- 
 tianity ;  and  so  gave  me  a  fair  opportunity  for  using  my  best  en- 
 deavours to  remove  from  their  minds  those  scruples  and  jealous- 
 ies they  laboured  under:  and  when  I  had  endeavoured  to  answer 
 their  objections,  some  appeared  much  satisfied.  •  I  then  asked 
 the  king,  if  he  was  willing  I  should  visit  and  preach  to  them 
 again,  if  I  should  live  to  the  next  spring  ?  He  replied,  he  should 
 be  heartily  willing  for  his  own  part,  and  added,  he  wished  the 
 young  people  would  learn,  &:c.  I  then  put  the  same  question  to 
 the  rest ;  some  answered  they  would  be  very  glad,  and  none  man- 
 ifested any  dislike  to  it. 
 
 "  There  were  sundry  other  things  in  their  behaviour,  v/hich 
 appeared  with  a  comfortable  and  encouraging  aspect ;  that,  upon 
 the  whole,  I  could  not  but  rejoice  I  had  taken  that  journey  among 
 them,  although  it  was  attended  with  many  difficulties  and  hard- 
 ships. The  method  I  used  with  them,  and  the  instructions  I 
 gave  them,  I  am  persuaded  were  means,  in  some  measure,  to 
 remove  their  heathenish  jealousies  and  prejudices  against  Chris- 
 tianity :  and  I  could  not  but  hope,  the  God  of  all  grace  was  pre- 
 paring their  minds  to  receive  "the  truth  as  it  is  in  Jesus."  If 
 this  may  be  the  happy  consequence,  I  shall  qot  only  rejoice  in 
 my  past  labours  and  fatigues  ;  but  shall,  I  trust  also  "  be  willing 
 to  spend  and  be  spent,"  if  I  may  thereby  be  instrumental  "  lo 
 turn  them  from  darkness  to  light,  and  from  the  power  of  Satan  to 
 God." 
 
 "Thus,  Sir,  I  have   given  you  a  faithful  account  of  what  has 
 been  most  considerable  respecting  my  mission  among  the  Indians; 
 in  which  I  have  studied  all  convenient  brevity.     I  shall  only  now 
 take  leave  to  add  a  word  or  two  respecting  the  difficulties  that  at-   \A 
 tend  the  Christianizing  of  these  poor  Pagans. 
 
 "  In  the  first  place,  their  minds  are  filled  with  prejudices  against  /,- 
 Christianity,  on  account  of  the  vicious  lives  and  unchristian  be- 
 haviour of  some  that  are  called  Christians.  These  not  only 
 set  before  them  the  worst  examples,  but  some  of  them  take 
 pains,  expressly  in  words,  to  dissuade  them  from  becoming 
 Christians;    foreseeing,    that   if  these   should    b^  converted  to 
 
 23 
 
178  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 God,    "  the  hope  of   their  unlawful  gain,"    would  thereby  be 
 lost. 
 
 "  Again,  these  poor  Heathens  are  extremelj  attached  to  the 
 customs,  traditions,  and  fabulous  notions  of  theirfalFers.  And 
 this  one  seems  to  be  the  foundation  of  all  their  other  notions, 
 viz.  that  "  it  was  not  the  same  God  made  them,  who  made  the 
 white  people,"  but  another,  who  commanded  them  to  live  by 
 hunting,  &lc,  and  not  to  conform  to  the  customs  of  the  white  peo- 
 ple.  Hence,  when  they  are  desired  to  become  Christians, 
 
 they  frequently  reply,  that  "  they  will  live  as  their  fathers  lived, 
 and  go  to  their  fathers  when  they  die."  And  if  the  miracles  of 
 Christ  and  his  apostles  be  mentioned,  to  prove  the  truth  of  Chris- 
 tianity, they  also  mention  sundry  miracles,  which  their  fathers 
 have  told  them  were  anciently  wrought  among  the  Indians,  and 
 which  Satan  makes  them  beheve  were  so, — They  are  much  at- 
 tached to  idolatry  ;  frequently  making  feasts,  which  they  eat  in 
 honour  to  some  unknown  beings,  who,  they  suppose,  speak  to 
 them  in  dreams;  promising  them  success  in  hunting,  and  other 
 affairs,  in  case  they  will  sacrafice  to  them.  They  oftentimes  also 
 offer  their  sacrafices  to  tlie  spirits  of  the  dead  ;  who,  they  suppose, 
 stand  in  need  of  favours  from  the  living,  and  yet  are  in  such  a 
 state  as  that  they  can  well  reward  all  the  offices  of  kindness  that 
 are  shewn  them.  And  they  impute  all  their  calamities  to  the  neg- 
 lect of  these  sacrafices. 
 
 "  Furthermore,  they  are  much  awed  by  those  among  them- 
 ^'  selves,  who  are  called ^zwajozus,  who  are  supposed  to  have  a 
 power  of  enchanting,  orpotsoning  them  to  death,  or  at  least  in 
 a  very  distressing  manner.  And  they  apprehended  it  would  be 
 their  sad  fate  to  Je  thus  enchanted,  in  case  they  should  become 
 Christians. 
 u  "  Lastly,  the  rmnner  of  their  living  is  likewise  a  great  disadvan- 
 
 tage to  the  design  oT  their  being  Christianized.  They  are  almost 
 continually  rixvjng^from  place  to  place  ;  and  it  is  but  rare,  that  an 
 opportunity  can  be  had  with  some  of  them  for  their  instruction. 
 There  is  scarce  any  time  of  the  year,  wherein  the  men  can  be 
 found  generally  at  home,  except  about  six  weeks  before,  and  in 
 the  season  of  planting  their  corn,  and  about  two  months  in  the 
 latter  part  of  sununer,  from  the  time  they  begin  to  roast  their 
 corn,  until  it  is  fit  to  gather  in. 
 
 "  As  to  the  hardships  that  necessarily  attend  a  mission  among 
 them,  the  fatigues  of  frequent  journeying  in  the  wilderness,  the 
 unpleasantness  of  a  mean  and  hard  way  of  living,  and  the  great 
 diriicuUy  of  addressing  "  a  people  of  a  strange  language,"  these 
 1  shall,  at  present,  pass  over  in  silence  ;  designing  what  I  have 
 already  said  of  difficulties  attending  this  work,  not  for  the  dis- 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  179 
 
 couragement  of  any,  but  rather  for  the  incitement  of  all  who 
 "love  the  appearing  of  thekingdonn  of  Christ,"  to  frequent  the 
 throne  of  grace  with  earnest  supplications,  that  the  Heathen, 
 who  were  anciently  promised  to  Christ  "  for  his  inheritance," 
 may  now  actually  and  speedily  be  brought  into  his  kingdom  of 
 grace,  and  made  heirs  of  immortal  glory. 
 ^''I  am,  Sir, 
 
 "  Your  obedient,  humble  servant, 
 
 "David  Brainerd." 
 
 The  same  day,  J^ov,  5,  he  set  out  on  a  journey  to  New  York,  to 
 the  meeting  of  the  Presbytery  there  ;  and  was  from  home  more 
 than  a  fortnight.  He  seemed  to  enter  on  this  journey  with  great 
 reluctance  ;  fearing  that  the  diversions  of  it  would  prove  a  means 
 of  cooling  his  religious  affections,  as  he  had  found  in  other  jour- 
 neys. Yet,  in  this  journey,  he  had  some  special  seasons  wherein 
 he  enjoyed  extraordinary  evidences  and  fruits  of  God's  gracious 
 presence.  He  was  greatly  fatigued,  and  exposed  to  cold  and 
 storms  :  and  when  he  returned  from  New  York  to  New  Jersey, 
 on  Friday,  was  taken  very  ill,  and  was  detained  by  his  illness 
 some  time. 
 
 J^ov.  21.  "  Rode  from  Newark  to  Rockciticus  in  the  cold,  and 
 was  almost  overcome  with  it.  Enjoyed  some  sweetness  in  con- 
 versation with  dear  Mr.  Jones,  while  I  dined  with  him.  My  soul 
 loves  the  people  of  God,  and  especially  the  ministers  of  Jesus 
 Christ,  who  feel  the  same  trials  that  I  do. 
 
 JVbr.  22.  "  Came  on  my  way  from  Rockciticus  to  the  Dela- 
 ware. Was  very  much  disordered  with  a  cold  and  pain  in  my 
 head.  About  six  at  night,  I  lost  my  way  in  the  wilderness,  and 
 wandered  over  rocks  and  mountains,  down  hideous  steeps,  through 
 swamps,  and  most  dreadful  and  dangerous  places  ;  and,  the  night 
 being  dark,  so  that  few  stars  could  be  seen,  I  was  greatly  exposed. 
 I  was  much  pinched  with  cold,  and  distressed  with  an  extreme 
 pain  in  my  head,  attended  with  sickness  at  my  stomach ;  so  that 
 every  step  I  took  was  distressing  to  me.  1  had  little  hope  for 
 several  hours  together,  but  that  1  must  lie  out  in  the  woods  all 
 night,  in  this  distressed  case.  But  about  nine  o'clock,  I  found  a 
 house,  through  the  abundant  goodness  of  God,  and  was  kindly 
 entertained.  Thus  I  have  frequently  been  exposed,  and  some- 
 times lain  out  the  whole  night :  but  God  has  hitherto  preserved 
 me;  and  blessed  be  his  name.  Such  fatigues  and  hardships  as 
 these  serve  to  wean  me  from  the  earth  ;  and,  I  trust,  will  make 
 heaven  the  sweeter.  Formerly,  when  I  was  thus  exposed  to  cold, 
 rain,  &c.   I  was  ready  to   please   myself  with   the   thoughts   of 
 
180  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 enjoying  a  comfortable  house,  a  warm  fire,  and  other  outward  com- 
 forts; but  now  these  have  less  place  in  my  heart,  (through  the  grace 
 of  God,)  and  my  eye  is  more  to  God  for  comfort.  In  this  world  I 
 expect  tribulation  ;  and  it  does  not  now,  as  formerly,  appear 
 strange  to  me.  I  do  not  in  such  seasons  of  difficulty  flatter  my- 
 self that  it  will  be  better  hereafter ;  but  rather  think  how  much 
 worse  it  might  he;  how  much  greater  trials  others  of  God's  chil- 
 dren have  endured;  and  how  much  greater  are  yet  perhaps  reser- 
 ved for  me.  Blessed  be  God,  that  he  makes  the  theughts  of  my 
 journey's  end,  and  of  my  dissolution,  a  great  comfort  to  me,  under 
 my  sharpest  trials ;  and  scarce  ever  lets  these  thoughts  be  attended 
 with  terror  or  melancholy;  but  they  are  attended  frequently  with 
 great  joy. 
 
 .TVbi;.  23.  "Visited  a  sick  man ;  discoursed  and  prayed  with 
 him.  Then  visited  another  house,  where  was  one  dead  and  laid 
 out ;  looked  on  the  corpse,  and  longed  that  my  time  might  come 
 to  depart,  that  1  might  be  with  Christ.  Then  went  home  to  my 
 lodgings,  about  one  o'clock.  Felt  poorly  ;  but  was  able  lo  read, 
 most  of  the  afternoon." 
 
 Within  the  space  of  the  next  twelve  days,  he  passed  under  many 
 changes  in  the  frames  and  exercises  of  his  mind.  He  had  many 
 seasons  of  the  special  influences  of  God's  Spirit,  animating,  in- 
 vigorating, and  comforting  him  in  the  ways  of  God  and  the  duties 
 of  religion  :  but  had  some  turns  of  great  dejection  and  melancholy. 
 He  spent  much  time,  within  this  space,  in  hard  labour,  with  oth- 
 ers, to  make  for  himself  a  little  cottage  or  hut,  to  live  in  by  him- 
 self through  the  winter.  Yet  he  frequently  preached  to  the  In- 
 dians, and  speaks  of  special  assistance  which  he  had  from  time  to 
 time,  in  addressing  himself  to  them;  and  of  his  sometimes  having 
 considerable  encouragement  from  the  attention  which  they  gave. 
 But  on  Tuesday,  December  4,  he  was  sunk  into  great  dicourage- 
 ment,  to  see  most  of  them  going  in  company  to  an  idolatrous/ea5^ 
 and  dance,  after  he  had  taken  abundant  pains  to  dissuade  them 
 from  these  things. 
 
 Dec.  6.  "Having  now  a  happy  opportunity  of  being  retired  in 
 a  house  of  my  own,  which  1  have  lately  procured  and  moved  into; 
 considering  that  it  is  now  a  long  time  since  I  have  been  able,  ei- 
 ther on  account  of  bodily  weakness,  or  for  want  of  retirement,  or 
 some  other  difficulty  to  spend  anytime  in  secretfasting  and  prayer; 
 ©onsidering  also  the  greatness  of  my  work,  the  extreme  difficul- 
 cuUies  that  attend  it,  and  that  my  poor  Indians  are  now  worship- 
 ping devils,  notwithstanding  all  the  pains  I  have  taken  with  them, 
 
MEJVIOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  181 
 
 which  almost  overwhehns  my  spirit;  moreover,  considering  my 
 extreme  barrenness,  spiritual  deadness  and  dejection,  of  Jate ;  as 
 also  the  power  of  some  particular  corruptions;  I  set  apart  this  day 
 for  secret  prayer  and  fasting,  to  implore  the  blessing  of  God  on 
 myself,  on  my  poor  people,  on  my  friends,  and  on  the  church  of 
 God.  At  first,  I  felt  a  great  backwardness  to  the  duties  of  the 
 day,  on  account  of  the  seeming  impossibility  of  performing  them; 
 but  the  Lord  helped  me  to  break  through  this  difficulty.  God 
 was  pleased  by  the  use  of  means,  to  give  me  some  clear  convic- 
 tion of  my  sinfulness,  and  a  discovery  of  the  plague  of  my  own 
 heart,  more  affecting  than  what  I  have  of  late  had.  And  espe- 
 cially I  saw  my  sinfulness  in  this,  that  when  God  had  ivithdrawn 
 himself,  then,  instead  of  living  and  dying  in  pursuit  of  him,  I 
 have  been  disposed  to  one  of  these  two  things ;  either,  first,  to 
 yield  an  unbecoming  respect  to  some  earthly  objects,  as  if  happi- 
 ness were  to  be  derived  from  them  ;  or,  secondly,  to  be  secretly 
 froward  and  impatient,  and  unsuitably  desirous  of  death,  so  that  I 
 have  sometimes  thought  I  could  not  bear  to  think  that  my  life 
 must  be  lengthened  out.  That  which  often  drove  me  to  this  im- 
 patient desire  of  death,  was  a  despair  of  doing  any  good  in  life  ; 
 and  I  chose  death  rather  than  a  hfe  spent  for  nothing.  But  now 
 God  made  me  sensible  of  my  sin  in  these  things,  and  enabled  me 
 to  cry  to  him  (or  forgiveness.  Yet  this  was  not  all  which  I  wanted, 
 for  my  soul  appeared  exceedingly  polluted,  my  heart  seemed  like 
 a  nest  of  vipers,  or  a  cage  of  unclean  and  hateful  birds ;  and  there- 
 fore I  wanted  to  be  purified  "by  the  blood  of  sprinkhng,  that 
 cleanseth  from  all  sin."  This,  I  hope,  I  was  enabled  to  pray  for 
 in  faith.  I  enjoyed  much  more  intenseness,  fervency,  and  spirit- 
 uality, than  I  expected ;  God  was  better  to  me  than  my  fears. 
 Towards  night,  I  felt  my  soul  rejoice,  that  God  is  unchangeably 
 happy  and  glorious ;  and  that  he  will  be  glorified,  whatever  be- 
 comes of  his  creatures.  I  was  enabled  to  persevere  in  prayer, 
 until  sometime  in  the  evening  :  at  which  time  I  saw  so  much  need 
 of  divine  help,  in  every  respect,  that  I  knew  not  how  to  leave  off, 
 and  had  forgot  that  I  needed  food.  This  evening,  I  was  much 
 assisted  in  meditating  on  Is.  Hi.  3.  For  thus  saith  the  Lord,  ye 
 have  sold  yourselves  for  nought,  &ic.  Blessed  be  the  Lord  for  any 
 help  in  the  past  day. 
 
 Dec.  7.  "Spent  some  time  in  prayer,  in  the  morning;  enjoy- 
 ed some  freedom  and  affection  in  the  duty,  and  had  longing  de- 
 sires of  being  made  "faithful  to  the  death."  Spent  a  little  time  in 
 writing  on  a  divine  subject:  then  visited  the  Indians,  and  preach- 
 ed to  them;  but  under  inexpressible  dejection.  I  had  no  heart  to 
 speak   to  them,  and  could  not  do  it,  but  as   I  forced  myself:  I 
 
18S  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 knew  they  must  hate  to  hear  me,  as  having  but  just  got  home  from 
 their  idolatrous  feast  and  devil-worship. — In  the  evening,  had 
 some  freedom  in  prayer  and  meditation. 
 
 Dec.  8.  "  Have  been  uncommonly  free  this  day  from  de- 
 jection, and  from  that  distressing  apprehension,  that  I  could  do 
 nothing;  was  enabled  to  pray  and  study  with  some  comfort; 
 and  especially  was  assisted  in  writing  on  a  divine  subject.  In 
 the  evening,  my  soul  rejoiced  in  God ;  and  I  blessed  his  name 
 for  shining  on  my  soul.  O,  the  sweet  and  blessed  change  I  then 
 felt,  when  God  "  brought  me  out  of  darkness  into  his  marvellous 
 light  I" 
 
 Lord's  day,  Dec.  9.  *'  Preached,  both  parts  of  the  day,  at  a 
 place  called  Greenwich^  in  New  Jersey,  about  ten  miles  from  my 
 own  house.  In  the  first  discourse  I  had  scarce  any  warmth  or  af- 
 fectionate longing  for  souls.  In  the  intermediate  season  I  got 
 alone  among  the  bushes,  and  cried  to  God  for  pardon  of  my  dead- 
 ness ;  and  was  in  anguish  and  bitterness,  that  I  could  not  address 
 souls  with  more  compassion  and  tender  affection.  I  judged  and 
 condemned  myself  for  want  of  this  divine  temper  ;  though  I  saw 
 I  could  not  get  it  as  of  myself,  any  more  than  I  could  make  a 
 world.  In  the  latter  exercise,  blessed  be  the  Lord,  I  had  some 
 fervency,  both  in  prayer  and  preaching  ;  and  especially  in  the  ap- 
 plication of  my  discourse,  I  was  enabled  to  address  precious  souls 
 with  affection,  concern,  tenderness,  and  importunity.  The  Spirit 
 of  God,  I  think,  was  there ;  as  the  airects  were  apparent,  tears 
 running  down  many  cheeks. 
 
 Dec.  10.  "Near  noon,  I  preached  a^ain  :  God  gave  me  some 
 assistance,  and  enabled  me  to  be  in  son  .  vlegree  faithful;  so  that 
 I  had  peace  in  my  own  soul,  and  a  verv  comfortable  composure, 
 "  although  Israel  should  not  be  gathc.ed."  Came  away  from 
 Greenwich  and  rode  home;  arrived  just  in  the  evening.  By  the 
 way  my  soul  blessed  God  for  his  goodness ;  and  I  rejoiced,  that 
 so  much  of  my  work  was  done,  and  I  so  much  nearer  my  blessed 
 reward.     Blessed  be  God  for  grace  to  be  faithful. 
 
 Dec.  11.  "Felt  very  poorly  in  body,  being  much  tired  and 
 worn  out  the  last  night.  Was  assisted  in  some  measure  in  writing 
 on  a  divine  subject:  but  was  so  feeble  and  sore  in  my  breast,  that 
 I  had  not  much  resolution  in  my  work.  O,  how  I  long  for  that 
 world  "  where  the  weary  are  at  rest !"  and  yet  through  the  good- 
 ness of  God  I  do  not  now  feel  impatient. 
 
 Dec.  12.  "Was  again  very  weak;  but  somewhat  assisted  in 
 secret  prayer,  and  enabled  with  pleasure  and  sweetness  to  cry, 
 "Come,  Lord  Jesus!  come,  Lord  Jesus!  come  quickly."  My 
 soul  "  longed  for  God,  for  the  living  God."     O,  how  dehghtful  it 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  183 
 
 is,  to  pray  under  such  sweet  influences  !  O,  how  much  better  is 
 this,  than  one's  necessary  food!  I  had  at  this  time  no  disposition 
 to  eat,  (though  late  in  the  morning;)  for  earthly  food  appeared 
 wholly  tasteless.  O  how  much  "better  is  thy  love  than  wine," 
 than  the  sweetest  wine  / — I  visited  and  preached  to  the  Indians, 
 in  the  afternoon;  but  under  much  dejection.  Found  my  Inter- 
 preter under  some  concern  for  his  soul ;  which  was  some  comfort 
 to  me  ;  and  yet  filled  me  with  new  care.  I  longed  greatly  for  his 
 conversion;  lifted  up  my  heart  to  God  for  it,  while  I  was  talking 
 to  him;  came  home,  and  poured  out  my  soul  to  God  for  him  ;  en- 
 joyed some  freedom  in  prayer,  and  was  enabled,  I  think,  to  leave 
 all  with  God. 
 
 Dec.  13.  "Endeavoured  to  spend  the  day  in  fasting  and  prayer, 
 to  implore  the  divine  bfessing,  more  especially  on  my  poor  peo- 
 ple ;  and  in  particular,  I  sought  for  converting  grace  for  my  Inter- 
 preter, and  three  or  four  more  under  some  concern  for  their  souls. 
 I  was  much  disordered  in  the  morning  when  I  arose;  but  having 
 determined  to  spend  the  day  in  this  manner,  I  attempted  it.  Some 
 freedom  I  had  in  pleading  for  these  poor  concerned  souls,  several 
 times  ;  and  when  interceding  for  them,  I  enjoyed  greater  freedom 
 from  wandering  and  distracting  thoughts,  than  in  any  part  of  my  sup- 
 plications. But,  in  the  general,  I  was  greatly  exercised  with  wan- 
 derings; so  that  in  the  evening  it  seemed  as  if  I  had  need  to  pray 
 for  nothing  so  much  as  for  the  pardon  of  sins  committed  in  the  day 
 past,  and  the  vileness  I  then  found  in  myself.  The  sins  I  had  most 
 sense  of,  were  pride,  and  wandering  thoughts,  whereby  I  mocked 
 God.  The  former  of  these  cursed  inquities  excited  me  to  think 
 of  writing,  preaching,  or  converting  Heathens,  or  performing 
 some  other  great  work,  that  my  name  might  live  when  I  should 
 be  dead.  My  soul  was  in  anguish,  and  ready  to  drop  into  despair, 
 to  find  so  much  of  that  cursed  temper.  With  this,  and  the  other 
 evil  I  laboured  under,  viz.  wandering  thoughts,  I  was  almost  over- 
 whelmed, and  even  ready  to  give  over  striving  after  a  spirit  of  de- 
 votion ;  and  oftentimes  sunk  into  a  considerable  degree  of  de- 
 spondency, and  thought  I  was  "  more  brutish  than  any  man." 
 Yet  after  all  my  sorrows,  I  trust,  through  grace,  this  day  and 
 the  exercises  of  it  have  been  for  my  good,  and  taught  me  more 
 of  my  corruption,  and  weakness  without  Christ,  than  I  knew  be- 
 fore. 
 
 Dec.  14.  "  Near  noon,  went  to  the  Indians  ;  but  knew  not 
 what  to  say  to  them,  and  was  ashamed  to  look  them  in  the  face.  1 
 felt  that  I  had  no  power  to  address  their  consciences,  and  there- 
 fore had  no  boldness  to  say  any  thing.     Was,  much  of  the  day,  in 
 
184  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 a  great  degree  of  despair  about  ever  "  doing  or  seeing  any  good 
 in  the  land  of  the  living." 
 
 He  continued  under  the  same  dejection  the  next  day, 
 
 Lord^s  day,  Dec.  16.  *' Was  so  overwhelmed  with  dejection, 
 that  I  knew  not  how  to  live.  I  longed  for  death  exceedingly :  my 
 soul  wasswriA:  into  deep  waters,  and  the  floods  were  ready  to  drown 
 me,  I  was  so  much  oppressed,  that  my  soul  was  in  a  kind  of  hor- 
 ror ;  could  not  keep  my  thoughts  fixed  in  prayer,  for  the  space  of 
 one  minute,  without  fluttering  and  distraction  ;  and  was  exceeding- 
 ly ashamed,  that  1  did  not  live  to  God.  I  had  no  distressing 
 doubt  about  my  own  state;  but  would  have  cheerfully  ventured 
 (as  far  as  I  could  possibly  know)  into  eternity.  While  I  was  going 
 to  preach  to  the  Indians,  my  soul  was  in  anguish  ;  I  was  so  over- 
 borne with  discouragement,  that  I  despaired  of  doing  any  good, 
 and  was  driven  to  my  wit's-end  ;  I  knew  nothing  what  to  say,  nor 
 what  course  to  take.  But  at  last  I  insisted  on  the  evidence  we 
 have  of  the  truth  of  Christianity  from  the  miracles  of  Christ ; 
 many  of  which  I  set  before  them :  and  God  helped  me  to  make 
 a  close  application  to  those  who  refused  to  believe  the  truth  of 
 what  I  taught  them.  Indeed,  I  was  enabled  to  speak  to  the  con- 
 sciences of  all,  in  some  measure,  and  was  somewhat  encouraged, 
 to  find  that  God  enabled  me  to  be  faithful  once  more.  Then  came 
 and  preached  to  another  company  of  them ;  but  was  very  weary 
 and  fainto  In  the  evening,  I  was  refreshed,  and  enabled  to  pray 
 and  praise  God  with  composure  and  affection ;  had  some  enlarge- 
 ment and  courage  with  respect  to  my  work ;  was  willing  to  live, 
 and  longed  to  do  more  for  God  than  my  weak  state  of  body  would 
 admit  of.  "  I  can  do  all  things  through  Christ  that  strengthen? 
 me  ;"  and  by  his  grace,  I  am  willing  to  spend  and  he  spent  m 
 bis  service,  when  I  am  not  thus  sunk  in  dejection,  and  a  kind  of 
 despair. 
 
 Dec.  17.  "Was  comfortable  in  mind,  most  of  the  day;  was 
 enabled  to  pray  with  some  freedom,  cheerfulness,  composure, 
 and  devotion  ;  and  had  also  some  assistance  in  writing  on  a  divine 
 subject. 
 
 Dec.  18.  "Went  to  the  Indians,  and  discoursed  to  them  near 
 an  hour,  without  any  power  to  come  close  to  their  hearts.  But 
 at  last  I  felt  some  fervency,  and  God  helped  me  to  speak  with 
 warmth.  My  Interpreter  also  was  amazingly  assisted  ;  and  I  doubt 
 not  but  that  "the  Spirit  of  God  was  upon  him;"  though  I  had  no 
 reason  to  think  he  had  any  true  and  saving  grace,  but  was  only 
 under  conviction  of  his  lost  state;  and  presently  upon  this  most 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  185 
 
 of  the  grown  persons  were  much  affected,  and  the  tears  ran  down 
 their  cheeks.  One  old  man,  I  suppose  an  hundred  years  old,  was 
 so  much  affected,  that  he  wept,  and  seemed  convinced  of  the  im- 
 portance of  what  I  taught  them.  I  staid  with  them  a  considerable 
 time,  exhorting  and  directing  them;  and  came  away,  lifting  up  my 
 heart  to  God  in  prayer  and  praise,  and  encouraged  and  exhorted 
 my  Interpreter  to  "strive  to  enter  in  at  the  strait  gate."  Came 
 home,  and  spent  most  of  the  evening  in  prayer  and  thanksgiving; 
 and  found  myself  much  enlarged  and  quickened.  Was  greatly 
 concerned,  that  the  Lord's  work  which  seemed  to  be  begun,  might 
 be  carried  on  with  power,  to  the  conversion  of  poor  souls,  and  the 
 glory  of  divine  grace. 
 
 Dec.  19.  "Spent  a  great  part  of  the  day  in  prayer  to  God 
 for  the  outpouring  of  his  Spirit  on  my  poor  people  ;  as  also  to 
 bless  his  name  for  awakening  my  Interpreter  and  some  others, 
 and  giving  us  some  tokens  of  his  presence  yesterday.  And  blessed 
 be  God,  I  had  much  freedom,  five  or  six  times  in  the  day,  in 
 prayer  and  praise,  and  felt  a  weighty  concern  upon  my  spirit  for 
 the  salvation  of  those  precious  souls,  and  the  enlargement  of  the 
 Redeemer's  kingdom  among  them.  My  soul  hoped  in  God  for 
 some  success  in  my  ministry:  and  blessed  be  his  name  for  so  much 
 hope. 
 
 Dec.  20.  "  Was  enabled  to  visit  the  throne  of  grace  frequently 
 this  day  ;  and  through  divine  goodness  enjoyed  much  freedom  ^nd 
 fervency,  sundry  times  :  was  much  assisted  in  crying  for  mercy  for 
 my  poor  people,  and  felt  cheerfulness  and  hope  in  my  requests 
 for  them.  I  spent  much  of  the  day  in  writing  ;  but  was  enabled 
 to  intermix  prayer  with  my  studies. 
 
 Dec.  21.  "  Was  enabled  again  to  pray  with  freedom,  cheerful- 
 ness, and  hope.  God  was  pleased  to  make  the  duty  comfortable 
 and  pleasant  to  me  ;  so  that  1  delighted  to  persevere,  and  repeat- 
 edly to  engage  in  it.  Towards  noon  visited  my  people,  and  spent 
 the  whole  time  in  the  way  to  them  in  prayer,  longing  to  see  the 
 power  of  God  among  them,  as  there  appeared  something  of  it 
 the  last  Tuesday;  and  I  found  it  sweet  to  rest  and  hope  in  God. 
 Preached  to  them  twice,  and  at  two  distinct  places  :  had  con- 
 siderable freedom  each  time,  and  so  had  my  Interpreter.  Sev- 
 eral of  them  followed  me  from  one  place  to  the  other:  and  I 
 thought  there  was  some  divine  influence  discernible  amongst  them. 
 In  the  evening,  was  assisted  in  prayer  again.  Blessed  be  the 
 Lord." 
 
 Very  much  the  same  things  are  expressed  concerning  his  in- 
 ward frame,  exercises,  and   assistances  on    Saturday,  as  on  the 
 
 '24 
 
186  MEIMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 preceding  days.  He  observes,  that  this  was  a  comfortable  week 
 to  him.  But  then  conckides,  "Oh  that  I  had  no  reason  to  com- 
 plain of  much  barrenness !  Oh  that  there  were  no  vain  thoughts 
 and  evil  affections  lodged  within  me  !  The  Lord  knows  how  I 
 long  for  that  world,  where  they  rest  day  nor  night,  saying,  Holy^ 
 holy,  holy  is  the  Lord  God  Almighty.^'  On  the  following  Sabbath 
 he  speaks  of  assistance  and  freedom  in  his  public  work,  but  as 
 having  less  of  the  sensible  presence  of  God,  than  frequently  in  the 
 week  past;  but  yet  says  his  soul  was  kept  from  sinking  in  discour- 
 agement. On  Monday  again  he  seemed  to  enjoy  very  much  the 
 same  hberty  and  fervency,  through  the  day,  which  he  enjoyed 
 through  the  greater  part  of  the  preceding  Week.  This  day  he 
 wrote  the  following  letter  to  one  of  his  intimate  friends,  a  clergy- 
 man in  New  Jersey. 
 
 "  Forks  of  Delaware,  Dec.  24,  1744. 
 
 "  Rev.  AND  Dear  Brother, 
 
 "I  have  little  to  say  to  you  about  spiritual  joy^,  and  those  bles- 
 sed refreshments  and  divine  consolations,  with  which  I  have  been 
 much  favoured  in  times  past ;  but  this  I  can  tell  you,  that  if  I  gain 
 experience  in  no  other  point,  yet  I  am  sure  I  do  in  this,  viz.  that 
 the  present  world  has  nothing  in  it  to  satisfy  an  immortal  soul  ; 
 and  hence,  that  it  is  not  to  be  desired  for  itself,  but  only  because 
 God  may  be  seen  and  served  in  it.  I  wish  I  could  be  more  patient 
 and  wilhng  to  live  in  it  for  this  end,  than  I  can  usually  find  myself 
 to  be.  It  is  no  virtue,  I  know,  to  desire  death,  only  to  be  freed 
 from  the  miseries  of  life  ;  but  I  want  that  divine  hope  which  you 
 observed,  when  I  saw  you  last,  was  the  very  sinews  of  vital  reli- 
 gion. Earth  can  do  us  no  good,  and  if  there  be  no  hope  of  our 
 doing  good  on  earth,  how  can  we  desire  to  live  in  it  ^  Yet  we 
 ought  to  desire,  or  at  least  to  be  resigned  to  tarry  in  it ;  because 
 it  is  the  will  of  our  all-wise  Sovereign.  But  perhaps  these 
 thoughts  will  appear  melancholy  and  gloomy,  and  consequently 
 will  be  very  undesirable  to  you  ;  and  therefore  I  forbear  to  add. 
 I  wish  you  may  not  read  them  in  the  same  circumstances  in 
 which  I  write  them.  I  have  a  litde  more  to  do  and  suffer  in  a 
 dark  disconsolate  world;  and  then  I  hope  to  be  as  happy  as  you 
 are. — I  should  ask  you  to  pray  for  me,  were  I  worth  your  con- 
 cern.    May  the  Lord  enable  us  both  to  "endure  hardness  as  good 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  187 
 
 soldiers  of  Jesus  Christ ;"  and  may  we  "obtain  mercy  of  God 
 to  be  faithful  to  the  death,"  in  the  discharge  of  our  respective 
 ti'usts ! 
 
 •'I  am  your  very  unworthy  brother, 
 
 "And  humble  Servant, 
 
 "David  Brainerd." 
 
 Dec.  25.  "Enjoyed  very  little  quiet  sleep  last  night,  by  rea- 
 son of  bodily  weakness,  and  the  closeness  of  niy  studies  yester- 
 day;  yet  my  heart  was  somewhat  lively  in  prayer  and  praise.  I 
 was  delighted  with  the  divine  glory  and  happiness,  and  rejoiced 
 that  God  was  God,  and  that  he  was  unchangeably  possessed  of 
 glory  and  blessedness.  Though  God  held  my  eyes  waking, 
 yet  he  helped  me  to  improve  my  time  profitably  amidst  my 
 pains  and  weakness,  in  continued  meditations  on  Luke  xiii.  7. 
 Behold,  these  three  years  I  come  seeking  fruit,  he.  My  medita- 
 tions were  sweet ;  and  I  wanted  to  set  before  sinners  their  sin  and 
 danger." 
 
 'Q 
 
 He  continued  in  a  very  low  state,  as  to  his  bodily  health,  for 
 some  days,  which  seems  to  have  been  a  great  hindrance  to  him  in 
 his  religious  exercises  and  pursuits.  But  yet  he  expresses  some 
 degree  of  divine  assistance,  from  day  to  day,  through  the  remain- 
 ing part  of  this  week.  He  preached  several  times  this  week  to 
 his  Indians ;  and  there  appeared  still  soii^e  concern  amongst 
 them  for  their  souls.  On  Saturday,  he  rode  to  the  Irish  settle- 
 ment, about  fifteen  miles  from  his  lodgings,  in  order  to  spend  the 
 Sabbath  there. 
 
 Lord'^s  day,  Dec,  30.  "  Discoursed,  both  parts  of  the  day,  from 
 Mark  viii.  34.  Whosoever  will  come  after  me,  &c.  God  gave  me 
 very  great  freedom  and  clearness,  and  in  the  afternoon  especially, 
 considerable  warmth  and  fervency.  In  the  evening  also,  had  very 
 great  clearness  while  conversing  with  friends  on  divine  things.  I 
 do  not  remember  ever  to  have  had  more  clear  apprehensions  of 
 religion  in  my  life  ;  but  found  a  struggle  in  the  evening  with  spirit- 
 ual pride." 
 
 On  Monday,  he  preached  again  in  the  same  place  with  freedom 
 and  fervency;  and  rode  home  to  his  lodging,  and  arrived  in  the 
 evening,  under  a  considerable  degree  of  bodily  illness,  which 
 continued  the  two  next  days,  so  that  he  complains  much  of  spiritual 
 emptiness  and  barrenness  on  those  days. 
 
188  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 Jan,  3,  1745.  "  Being  sensible  of  the  great  want  of  divine 
 influence,  and  the  outpouring  of  God's  Spirit,  I  spent  ti»is  day  in 
 fasting  and  prayer,  to  seek  so  great  a  mercy  for  myself,  my  poor 
 people  in  particular,  and  the  church  of  God  in  general.  In  the 
 morning,  was  very  lifeless  in  prayer,  and  could  get  scarcely  any 
 sense  of  God.  Near  noon,  enjoyed  some  sweet  freedom  to  pray 
 that  the  wUl  of  God  might  in  every  respect  become  mine;  and  I 
 am  persuaded,  it  was  so  at  that  time  in  some  good  degree.  In 
 the  afternoon,  I  was  exceedingly  weak,  and  could  not  enjoy 
 much  fervency  in  prayer ;  but  felt  a  great  degree  of  dejection  ; 
 which,  I  believe,  was  very  much  owing  to  my  bodily  weakness 
 and  disorder. 
 
 J  n.  4.  "  Rode  up  to  the  Indians,  near  noon  ;  spent  some  time 
 under  great  disorder  :  my  soul  was  sunk  down  into  deep  waters, 
 and  I  was  almost  overwhelmed  with  melancholy. 
 
 Jan.  5.  "Was  able  to  do  something  at  writing;  but  was  much 
 disorded  with  pain  in  my  head.  At  night,  was  distressed  with  a 
 sense  of  my  spiritual  pollution,  and  ten  thousand  youthful,  yea, 
 and  childish  follies,  that  nobody  but  myself  had  any  thought  about; 
 all  which  appeared  to  me  now  fresh,  and  in  a  lively  view,  as  if 
 committed  yesterday,  and  made  my  soul  ashamed  before  God, 
 and  caused  me  to  hate  myself. 
 
 Lord'^s  day,  Jan.  6.  "Was  still  distressed  with  vapoury  disor- 
 ders. Preached  to  my  poor  Indians:  but  had  little  heart  or  hfe. 
 Towards  night,  my  soul  was  pressed  under  a  sense  of  my  un- 
 faithfulness. O  the  joy  and  peace  that  arises  from  a  sense  of 
 ^'  having  obtained  mercy  of  God  to  be  faithful !"  And  Oh  the 
 misery  and  anguish  that  spring  from  an  apprehension  of  the  con- 
 trary !" 
 
 His  dejection  continued  the  two  nepot  days;  but  not  to  so  great  a 
 degree  on  Tuesday,  when  he  enjoyed  some  freedom  and  fervency 
 in  preaching  to  the  Indians. 
 
 Jan.  9.  "  In  the  morning,  God  was  pleased  to  remove  that 
 gloom  which  has  of  late  oppressed  my  mind,  and  gave  me  free- 
 dom and  sweetness  in  prayer.  I  was  encouraged,  strengthened, 
 and  enabled  to  plead  for  grace  for  myself,  and  mercy  for  my  poor 
 Indians ;  and  was  sweetly  assisted  in  my  intercessions  with  God 
 for  others.  Blessed  be  his  holy  name  for  ever  and  ever.  Amen, 
 and  Amen.  Those  things  that  of  late  appeared  most  difficult  and 
 almost  impossible,  now  appeared  not  only  possible,  but  easy. 
 My  soul  was  much  delighted  to  continue  instant  in  prayer,  at  this 
 blessed  season,  that  I  had  no  desire  for  my  necessary  food:  even 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  189 
 
 dreaded  leaving  off  praying  at  all,  lest  I  should  lose  this  spiritual- 
 ity, and  this  blessed  thankfulness  to  God  which  I  then  felt.  I 
 felt  now  quite  willing  to  live,  and  undergo  all  trials  that  might 
 remain  for  me  in  a  world  of  sorrow  :  but  still  longed  for  l.'=^aven, 
 that  I  might  glorify  God  in  a  perfect  manner  O  "come,  Lord 
 Jesus,  come  quickly."  Spent  the  day  in  reading  a  little  ;  and  in 
 some  diversions, which  I  was  necessitated  to  take  by  reason  of  miich 
 weakness  and  disorder.  In  the  evening,  enjoyed  some  freedom 
 and  intenseness  in  prayer." 
 
 The  three  remaining  days  of  the  week^  he  was  very  low  and  fee- 
 ble in  body ;  but  nevertheless  continued  constantly  in  the  same 
 comfortable  sweet  frame  of  mind,  as  is  expressed  on  Wednesday. 
 On  the  Sabbath,  this  sweetness  in  spiritual  alacrity  began  to  abate; 
 but  still  he  enjoyed  some  degree  of  comfort,  and  had  assistance 
 in  preaching  to  the  Indians. 
 
 Jan.  14.  "  Spent  this  day  under  a  great  degree  of  bodily 
 weakness  and  disorder ;  had  very  little  freedom,  either  in  my 
 studies  or  devotions ;  and  in  the  evening,  I  was  much  dejected 
 and  melancholy.  It  pains  and  distresses  me,  that  I  live  so  much 
 of  my  time  for  nothing.  I  long  to  do  much  in  a  little  time,  and 
 if  it  might  be  the  Lord's  will  to  finish  my  work  speedily  in  this 
 tiresome  world.  I  am  sure,  I  do  not  desire  to  live  for  any  thing 
 in  this  world  ;  and  through  grace  I  am  not  afraid  to  look  the  king 
 of  terrors  in  the  face  :  I  know  that  I  shall  be  afraid  if  God  leaves 
 me;  and  therefore  I  think  it  always  my  duty  to  provide  for  that 
 solemn  hour.  But  for  a  very  considerable  time  past,  my  soul 
 has  rejoiced  to  think  of  death  in  its  nearest  approaches,  and  even 
 when  I  have  been  very  weak,  and  seemed  nearest  eternity.  "  Not 
 unto  me,  not  unto  me,  but  to  God  be  the  glory."  I  feel  that 
 which  convinces  me,  that  if  God  do  not  enable  me  to  maintain  a 
 holy  dependence  upon  him,  death  will  easily  be  a  terror  to  me ; 
 but  at  present,  I  must  say,  "  I  long  to  depart,  and  to  be  with 
 Christ,"  which  is  the  best  of  all.  When  I  am  in  a  sweet  resigned 
 frame  of  soul,  I  am  willing  to  tarry  a  while  in  a  world  of  sorrow. 
 I  am  willing  to  be  from  home  as  long  as  God  sees  fit  it  should 
 be  so  ;  but  when  I  want  the  influence  of  this  temper,  I  am  then 
 apt  to  be  impatient  to  be  gone. — O,  when  will  the  day  appear, 
 that  I  shall  be  perfect  in  hohness,  and  in  the  enjoyment  of 
 God!" 
 
 The  next  day  was  spent  under  a  great  degree  of  dejection  and 
 melancholy ;  which,  as  he  himself  was  persuaded,  was  owing 
 partly  to  bodily  weakness,  and  vapoury  disorders. 
 
I9u  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINEKD. 
 
 Jan,  16  and  17.  "I  spent  most  of  the  time  in  writing  on  a 
 sweet  divine  subject,  and  enjoyed  some  freedom  and  assistance. 
 Was  likewise  enabled  to  pray  more  frequently  and  fervently  than 
 usual ;  and  my  soul,  I  think,  rejoiced  in  God  ;  especially  on  the 
 evening  of  the  last  of  these  days.  Praise  then  seemed  comely, 
 and  I  delighted  to  bless  the  Lord.  O  what  reason  have  I  to  be 
 thankful,  that  God  ever  helps  me  to  labour  and  study  for  him  ! 
 he  does  but  receive  his  own,  when  I  am  enabled  in  any  measure  to 
 praise  him,  labour  for  him,  and  live  to  him.  O,  how  comfortable 
 and  sweet  it  is,  to  feel  the  assistance  of  divine  grace  in  the  per- 
 formance of  the  duties  which  God  has  enjoined  on  us!  Bless  the 
 Lord,  O  my  soulP^ 
 
 The  same  enlargement  of  heart,  and  joyful  frame  of  soul, 
 continued  through  the  7iext  day.  But  on  the  day  follorving  it 
 began  to  decline  ;  w^hich  decay  seems  to  have  continued  the 
 whole  of  thenex^  week:  yet  he  enjoyed  some  seasons  of  special 
 and  sweet  assistance. 
 
 Lord\s  day,  Jan.  27.  "Had  the  greatest  degree  of  inward  an* 
 guish,  which  I  almost  ever  endured.  I  was  perfectly  overwhelm- 
 ed, and  so  confused,  that  after  I  began  to  discourse  to  the  Indians, 
 before  I  could  finish  a  sentence,  sometimes  I  forgot  entirely  what 
 I  was  aiming  at ;  or  if,  with  much  difficulty,  I  had  recollected 
 what  I  had  before  designed,  still  it  appeared  strange,  and  like 
 something  I  had  long  forgotten,  and  had  now  but  an  imperfect  re- 
 membrance of.  I  know  it  was  a  degree  of  distraction,  occasion- 
 ed by  vapoury  disorders,  melancholy,  spiritual  desertion,  and 
 some  other  things  that  particularly  pressed  upon  me  this  morning, 
 with  an  uncommon  weight,  the  principal  of  which  respected  my 
 Indians.  This  distressing  gloom  never  went  off  the  whole  day  ; 
 but  was  so  far  removed,  that  I  was  enabled  to  speak  with  some 
 freedom  and  concern  to  the  Indians,  at  two  of  their  settlements  ; 
 and  I  think,  there  was  some  appearance  of  the  presence  of  God 
 with  us,  some  seriousness  and  seeming  concern  among  the  Indians, 
 at  least  a  few  of  them.  In  the  evening,  this  gloom  continued 
 still,  till  family  prayer,*  about  nine  o'clock,  and  almost  through 
 this,  until  I  came  near  the  close,  when  I  was  praying,  as  I  usual- 
 ly do,  for  the  illumination  and  conversion  of  my  poor  people  ; 
 and  then  the  cloud  was  scattered,  so  that  I  enjoyed  sweetness 
 and  freedom,  and  conceived  hopes,  that  God  designed  mercy  for 
 some  of  them.     The  same  I  enjoyed  afterwards  in  secret  prayer  : 
 
 *  Though  Brainerd  now  dwelt  by  himself  in  the  forementioneLl  little  cottag^e- 
 which  he  had  built  for  his  own  use  ;  yet  that  was  near  to  a  family  of  white  people, 
 with  whom  he  had  lived  before,  and  with  whom  he  still  attended  family  prayer. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  191 
 
 in  which  precious  duty  I  had  for  a  considerable  time  sweetness 
 and  freedom,  and,  I  hope,  faith,  in  praying  for  myself,  my  poor 
 Indians,  and  dear  friends  aud  acquaintance  in  New-England,  and 
 elsewhere,  and  for  the  dear  interests  of  Zion  in  general.  Bless 
 the  Lord,   O  my  soul,  and  forget  not  all  his  henejitsy 
 
 He  spent  the  rest  of  this  week,  or  at  least  the  most  of  it,  under 
 dejection  and  melancholy,  which  on  Friday  rose  to  an  extreme 
 height ;  he  being  then,  as  he  himself  observes,  much  exercised 
 with  vapoury  disorders.  This  exceeding  gloominess  continued 
 on  Saturday,  till  the  evening,  when  he  was  again  relieved  in  fam- 
 ily prayer  ;  and  after  it,  was  refreshed  in  secret,  and  felt  willing 
 to  live,  and  endure  hardships  in  the  cause  of  God  ;  and  found  his 
 hopes  of  the  advancement  of  Christ's  kingdom,  as  also  his  hopes 
 to  see  the  pozuer  of  God  among  the  poor  Indians,  considerably 
 raised. 
 
 Lord^s  day,  Feb.  3.  "  In  the  morning,  I  was  somewhat  reliev- 
 ed of  that  gloom  and  confusion,  with  which  my  mind  has  of  late, 
 been  greatly  exercised  ;  and  was  enabled  to  pray  with  some  com- 
 posure and  comfort.  Still  I  went  to  my  Indians  trembling  ;  for 
 my  soul  "  remembered  the  wormwood  and  the  gall "  of  Friday 
 last.  I  was  greatly  afraid  that  I  should  be  obliged  again  to  drink 
 of  that  cup  of  trembling,  which  was  inconceivably  more  bitter 
 than  death,^  and  made  me  long  for  the  grave  more,  unspeakably 
 more,  than  for  hid  treasures,  yea,  inconceivably  more  than  the 
 men  of  this  world  long  for  such  treasures.  But  God  was  pleased 
 to  hear  my  cries,  and  to  afford  me  great  assistance  ;  so  that  I  felt 
 peace  in  my  own  soul ;  and  was  satisfied,  that  if  not  one  of  the 
 Indians  should  be  profited  by  my  preaching,  but  should  all  be 
 damned,  yet  I  should  be  accepted  and  rewarded  as  faithful;  fori 
 am  persuaded,  God  enabled  me  to  be  so. Had  some  good  de- 
 gree of  help  afterwards,  at  another  place ;  and  much  longed  for 
 the  conversion  of  the  poor  Indians.  Was  somewhat  refreshed, 
 and  comfortable,  towards  night  and  in  the  evening.     Oh,  that  my 
 
 soul  might  praise    the  Lord  for  his  goodness  ! Enjoyed  some 
 
 freedom,  in  the  evening,  in  meditation  on  Luke  xiii.  24.  Strive 
 to  enter  in  at  the  strait  gate^Szc'^'' 
 
 In  the  three  next  days,  he  was  the  subject  of  much  dejection  : 
 but  the  three  remaining  days  of  the  week  seem  to  have  been  spent 
 with  much  composure  and  comfort.  On  the  next  Sabbath,  he 
 preached  at  Greenwich  in  New  Jersey.  In  the  evening,  he  rode 
 eight  miles  to  visit  a  sick  man  at  the  point  of  death,  and  found 
 him  speechless  and  senseless. 
 
192  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 Feb,  11.  *'About  break  of  day,  the  sick  man  died.  I  was  af- 
 fected at  the  sight ;  spent  the  morning  with  the  mourners  ,  and, 
 after  prayer  and  some  discourse  with  them,  returned  to  Green- 
 wich, and  preached  again  from  Ps.  Ixxxix.  15.  Blessed  is  the 
 people  that  knozu^  &c.  The  Lord  gave  me  assistance  ;  I  felt  a 
 sweet  love  to  souls,  and  to  the  kingdom  of  Christ ;  and  longed 
 that  poor  sinners  might  know  the  joyful  sound.  Several  persons 
 were  much  affected.  After  meeting,  I  was  enabled  to  discourse, 
 with  freedom  and  concern,  to  some  persons,  who  apphed  to  me 
 under  spiritual  trouble.  Left  the  place,  sweetly  composed,  and 
 rode  home  to  my  house  about  eight  miles  distant.  Discoursed  to 
 friends,  and  inculcated  divine  truths  upon  some.  In  the  evening 
 was  in  the  most  solemn  frame  which  I  almost  ever  remember  to 
 have  experienced.  I  know  not  that  ever  death  appeared  more 
 real  to  me,  or  that  ever  I  saw  myself  in  the  condition  of  a  dead 
 corpse,  laid  out,  and  dressed  for  a  lodging  in  the  silent  grave,  so 
 evidently  as  at  this  time.  And  yet  I  felt  exceedingly  tranquil  ; 
 my  mind  was  composed  and  calm,  and  death  appeared  without  a 
 sting.  I  think,  I  never  felt  such  an  universal  mortification  to  all 
 created  objects  as  now.  O,  how  great  and  solemn  a  thing  it  ap- 
 peared to  die!  O,  how  it  lays  the  greatest  honour  in  the  dust! 
 And  O,  how  vain  and  trifling  did  the  riches,  honours,  and  pleas- 
 ures of  the  world  appear!  I  could  not,  I  dare  not,  so  much  as 
 think  of  any  of  them  ;  for  death,  death,  solemn  (though  not  fright- 
 ful) death  appeared  at  the  door.  O,  I  could  see  myself  dead, 
 and  laid  out,  and  inclosed  in  my  coffin,  and  put  down  into  the  cold 
 grave,  with  the  greatest  solemnity,  but  without  terror  !  I  spent 
 most  of  the  evening  in  conversing  with  a  dear  Christian  friend  ; 
 
 and  blessed  be  God,  it  was  a  comfortable  evening  to  us  both. 
 
 What  are  friends?  What  are  comforts?  What  are  sorrows? 
 What  are  distresses  ? — "  The  time  is  short.  It  remains,  that  they 
 which  weep,  be  as  though  they  wept  not;  and  they  which  rejoice, 
 as  though  they  rejoiced  not ;  for  the  fashion  of  this  world  passeth 
 
 away.      Oh   come.    Lord  Jesus,  come   quickly.     Amen." 
 
 Blessed  he  God  for  the  comforts  of  the  past  day, 
 
 Feb,  ^2,  ''Was  exceedingly  weak ;  but  in  a  sweet,  resigned, 
 composed  frame,  most  of  the  day  :  felt  my  heart  freely  go  forth 
 after  God  in  prayer. 
 
 Feb.  13.  "  Was  much  exercised  with  vapoury  disorders,  but 
 still  enabled  to  maintain  solemnity,  and  I  think,  spirituality. 
 
 Feb.  14.  "Spent  the  day  in  writing  on  a  divine  subject;  en- 
 joyed health  and  freedom  in  my  work  ;  and  had  a  solemn  sense  of 
 death,  as  I  have  indeed  had  every  day  this  week,  in  some  meas- 
 ure. What  I  felt  on  Monday  last,  has  been  abiding,  in  some  con- 
 =^iderable  degree,  ever  since. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  193 
 
 Feb.  15.  *'  Was  engaged  in  writing  again  alnnost  the  whole  day. 
 In  the  evening,  was  nnuch  assisted  in  meditating  on  tliat  precious 
 text,  John  vii.  37.  Jesus  stood  and  cried,  &:c.  I  had  then  a  sweet 
 sense  of  the  free  grace  of  the  gospel  ;  my  soul  was  encouraged, 
 warmed,  and  quickened.  My  desires  were  drawn  out  after  God 
 in  prayer ;  and  my  soul*  was  watchful,  afraid  of  losing  so  sweet  a 
 guest  as  I  then  entertained.  I  continued  long  in  prayer  and 
 meditation,  intermixing  one  with  the  other;  and  was  unwilling 
 to  be  diverted  by  any  thing  at  all  from  so  sweet  an  exercise.  I 
 longed  to  proclaim  the  grace  I  then  meditated  upon,  to  the  world 
 of  sinners. — O  how  quick  and  pozoeiful  is  the  word  of  the  blessed 
 God." 
 
 The  next  day,  he  complains  of  great  conflicts  with  corruption, 
 and  much  discomposure  of  mind. 
 
 Lord^s  day,  Feb,  1 7.  "  Preached  to  the  white  people,  my  In- 
 terpreter being  absent,  in  the  wilderness  upon  the  sunny  side  of  a 
 hill  ;  had  a  considerable  assembly,  consisting  of  people  who  lived, 
 at  least  many  of  them,  not  less  than  thirty  miles  asunder;  some 
 of  them  came  near  twenty  miles.  I  discoursed  to  them  all  day, 
 from  John  vii.  37.  Jesus  stood  and  cried,  saying,  if  any  man 
 thirst,  &c.  In  the  afternoon,  it  pleased  God  to  grant  me  great 
 freedom  and  fervency  in  my  discourse  ;  and  I  was  enabled  to  imi- 
 tate the  example  of  Christ   in  the  text,  who  stood  and  cried, I 
 
 think  I  was  scarce  ever  enabled  to  offer  the  free  grace  of  God  to 
 perishing  sinners  with  more  freedom  and  plainness  in  my  life. 
 Afterwards,  I  was  enabled  earnestly  to  invite  the  children  of  God 
 to  come  renewedly,  and  drink  of  this  fountain  of  the  water  of 
 life,  from  whence  they  have  heretofore  derived  unspeakable  sat- 
 isfaction. It  was  a  very  comfortable  time  to  me.  There  were 
 many  tears  in  the  assembly  ;  and  I  doubt  not  but  that  the  Spirit  of 
 God  was  there,  convincing  poor  sinners  of  their  need  of  Christ. 
 In  the  evening,  I  felt  composed  and  comfortable,  though  much 
 tired.  I  had  some  sweet  sense  of  the  excellency  and  glory  of 
 God;  my  sOul  rejoiced  that  he  was  "God  over  all  blessed  fot 
 ever;"  but  was  too  much  crowded  with  company  and  conversa- 
 tion, and  longed  to  be  more  alone  with  God.  Oh  that  I  could 
 forever  bless  God  for  the  mercy  of  this  day,  who  "answered  me 
 in  the  joy  of  my  heart." 
 
 The  remainder  of  this  week  seems  to  have  been  spent  under  a 
 decay  of  this  life  and  joy,  and  in  distiessing  conflicts  with  corrup- 
 tion ;  but  not  without  some  seasons  of  refreshment  and  comfort* 
 
 25 
 
194  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 Lordh  day,  Feb,  24.  **  In  the  morning  was  much  perplexed. 
 My  Interpreter  being  absent,  I  knew  not  how  to  perform  my  work 
 among  the  Indians.  However,  I  rode  to  them,  got  a  Dutchman 
 to  interpret  for  me,  though  he  was  but  poorly  qualified  for  the 
 business.  Afterwards,  I  came  and  preached  to  a  few  white  peo- 
 ple, from  John  vi.  67.  Thett  said  Jesus  unto  the  twelve,  <Sz:c.  Here 
 the  Lord  seemed  to  unburden  me  in  some  measure,  especially 
 towards  the  close  of  my  discourse :  I  felt  freedom  to  open  the 
 love  of  Christ  to  his  own  dear  disciples.  When  the  rest  of  the 
 world  forsakes  him,  and  are  forsaken  by  him,  that  he  calls  them 
 no  more,  he  then  turns  to  his  own,  and  says,  Willy t  also  go  aioay? 
 I  had  a  sense  of  the  {vee  grace  of  Christ  to  his  own  people,  in 
 such  seasons  of  general  apostacy,  and  when  they  themselves  in 
 some  measure  backslide  with  the  world.  O  the  free  grace  of 
 Christ,  that  he  seasonably  reminds  his  people  of  their  danger  of 
 backsliding,  and  invites  them  to  persevere  in  their  adherence  to 
 liimself !  I  saw  that  backsliding  souls,  who  seemed  to  be  about 
 to  go  away  with  the  world,  might  return,  and  welcome,  to  him 
 immediately^  without  any  thing  to  recommend  them  ;  notwith- 
 standing all  their  former  backslidings.  Thus  my  discourse  was 
 suited  to  my  own  soul's  case ;  for,  of  late,  I  have  found  a  great 
 want  of  this  sense  and  apprehension  of  divine  grace ;  and  have 
 often  been  greatly  distressed  in  my  own  soul,  because  1  did  not 
 suitably  apprehend  this  "  fountain  to  purge  away  sin  ;"  and  have 
 been  too  much  labouring  for  spiritual  life,  peace  of  conscience, 
 and  progressive  holiness,  in  my  own  strength.  Now  God  shew- 
 ed me,  in  some  measure,  the  arm  of  all  strength,  and  the  foun- 
 tain of  all  grace. — In  the  evening,  I  felt  solemn,  devout  and  sweet; 
 resting  on  free  grace  for  assistance,  acceptance,  and  peace  of 
 conscience." 
 
 Within  the  space  of  the  next  nine  days,  he  had  frequent  refresh- 
 iiig,  invigorating  influences  of  God's  Spirit ;  attended  with  com- 
 plaints of  dulness,  and  with  longings  after  spiritual  life  and  holy 
 fervency. 
 
 .March  6.  ''  Spent  most  of  the  day  in  preparing  for  a  journey 
 to  New-England.  Spent  some  time  in  prayer,  with  a  special  re- 
 ference to  my  intended  journey.  Was  afraid  I  should  forsake  the 
 Fountain  of  living  waters,  and  attempt  to  derive  satisfaction  from 
 broken  cisterns,  my  dear  friends  and  acquaintance,  with  whom  I 
 miglit  meet  in  my  journey.  I  looked  to  God  to  keep  me  from 
 this  vanity,  as  well  as  others.  Towards  night,  and  in  the  eve- 
 ning, was  visited  by  some  friends,  some  of  whom,  I  trust,  were 
 real  Christians  ;  who   discovered  an  affectionate    regard  to  me, 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  195 
 
 and  seemed  grieved  that  I  was  about  to  leave  them  ;  especially  as 
 I  did  not  expect  to  make  any  considerable  stay  amonj^  tlicm,  if  I 
 should  live  to  return  from  New-Eni^land.*  O  how  kind  has  God 
 been  to  me!  how  has  he  raised  up  friends  in  every  place  where 
 his  providence  has  called  me  !  Friends  are  a  great  comfort  ; 
 and  it  is  God  who  gives  them  ;  it  is  He  w'ho  makes  them 
 friendly  to  me.  Bless  the  Lord,  0  my  soul,  and  forget  not  all  his 
 henejits. 
 
 The  next  day,  he  set  out  on  his  journey  ;  and  it  was  about  five 
 weeks  before  he  returned. — The  special  design  of  this  journey, 
 he  himself  declares  afterwards,  in  his  diary  for  March  21,  where, 
 speaking  of  his  conversing  with  a  certain  minister  in  New-Eng- 
 land, he  says,  "Contrived  with  him  how  to  raise  some  money 
 among  Christian  friends,  in  order  to  support  a  colleague  with  me 
 in  the  wilderness,  (I  having  now  spent  two  years  in  a  very  solitary 
 manner,)  that  we  might  be  together  :  as  Christ  sent  out  his  disci- 
 ples two  and  two  :  and  as  this  was  the  principal  concern  I  had  in 
 view,  in  taking  this  journey,  so  I  took  pains  in  it,  and  hope  God 
 will  succeed  it,  if  for  his  glory."  He  first  went  into  various  parts 
 of  New  Jersey,  and  visited  several  ministers  there  ;  then  went  to 
 New  York  ;  and  from  thence  into  New  England,  going  to  various 
 parts  of  Connecticut.  He  then  returned  to  New  Jersey,  and  met 
 a  number  of  ministers  at  Woodbridge,  "who,"  he  says,  "met 
 there  to  consult  about  the  affairs  of  Christ's  kingdom,  in  some 
 important  articles."  He  seems,  for  the  most  part,  to  have  been 
 free  from  melancholy  in  this  journey  ;  and  many  times  to  have 
 had  extraordinary  assistance  in  public  ministrations,  and  his 
 preaching  sometimes  attended  with  very  hopeful  appearances  of 
 a  good  effect  on  the  auditory.  He  also  had  many  seasons  of  spe- 
 cial comfort  and  spiritual  refreshment,  in  conversation  with  min- 
 isters and  other  Christian  friends,  and  also  in  meditation  and 
 prayer  when  alone. 
 
 April  13.  "  Rode  home  to  my  own  house  at  the  Forks  of  Del- 
 aware; was  enabled  to  remember  the  goodness  of  the  Lord,  who 
 has  now  preserved  me  while  riding  full  six  hundred  miles  in  this 
 journey  ;  has  kept  me  that  none  of  my  bones  have  been  broken. 
 Blessed  be  the  Lord,  who  has  preserved  me  in  this  tedious  jour- 
 ney, and  returned  me  in  safety  to  my  own  house.  Verily  it  is 
 God  who  has  upheld  me,  and  guarded  my  goings. 
 
 *U  seems  he  had  a  design,  by  what  afterwards  appears,  to  remove  and  h'vc 
 among  the  Indians  on  the  Susquehannah  river. 
 
196  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 Lorct^s  day,  April  14.  "  Was  disordered  in  body  with  the  fa- 
 tigues of  the  late  journey ;  but  was  enabled  however  to  preach 
 to  a  considerable  assembly  of  white  people,  gathered  from  all 
 par(s  round  about,  with  some  freedom,  from  Ezek.  xxxiii.  11. 
 .'la  I  live,  saith  iht  Lord  God^  &c.  Had  much  more  assistance 
 than  I  expected." 
 
 TJds  week  he  went  a  journey  to  Philadelphia,  in  order  to  engage 
 the  Governor  to  use  his  interest  with  the  chief  of  the  Six  Nations, 
 with  whom  he  maintained  a  strict  friendship,  that  he  would  give 
 him  leave  to  live  at  Susquehannah,  and  instruct  the  Indians  who 
 are  within  their  territories.*  In  his  way  to  and  from  thence,  he 
 lodged  with  Mr.  Beaty,  a  young  presbyterian  minister.  He  speaks 
 of  seasons  of  sweet  spiritual  refreshment  which  he  enjoyed  at  his 
 lodgings. 
 
 April '^0.  "Rode  with  Mr.  Beaty  to  Abington,  to  attend  Mr. 
 Treat's  administration  of  the  sacrament,  according  to  the  method 
 of  the  church  of  Scotland.  When  we  arrived,  we  found  Mr. 
 Treat  preaching;  afterwards  I  preached  a  sermon  from  Mat.  v.  3. 
 Blessed  are  the  poor  in  spirit,  &;c.  God  was  pleased  to  give  me 
 great  freedom  and  tenderness,  both  in  prayer  and  sermon  ;  the 
 assembly  was  sweetly  melted,  and  scores  were  all  in  tears.  It 
 was,  as  J  then  hoped,  and  was  afterwards  abundantly  satisfied  by 
 conversing  with  them,  a  "  word  spoken  in  season  to  many  weary 
 souls."  I  was  extremely  tired,  and  my  spirits  much  exhausted, 
 so  that  I  could  scarcely  speak  loud;  yet  I  could  not  help  rejoicing 
 in  God. 
 
 Lord'^s  day^  April  21.  "  In  the  morning,  was  calm  and  com- 
 posed, and  had  some  thirstings  of  soul  after  God  in  secret  duties, 
 and  longing  desires  of  his  presence  in  the  sanctuary  and  at  his  ta- 
 ble; that  his  presence  might  be  in  the  assembly ;  and  that  his 
 children  might  be  entertained  with  a  feast  of  fat  things. — In  the 
 forenoon,  Mr.  Treat  preached,  h  felt  some  affection  and  ten- 
 derness during  the  administration  of  the  ordinance.  Mr.  Bfaty 
 preached  to  the  multitude  abroad,  who  could  not  half  have  crowd- 
 ed into  the  meeting-house.  In  the  season  of  the  communion,  I 
 had  comfortable  and  sweet  apprehensions  of  the  blissful  commun- 
 ion of  God's  people,  when  they  shall  meet  at  their  Father's  table 
 in  his  kingdom,  in  a  state  of  perfection. — In  the  afternoon,  I 
 preached  abroad  to  the  whole  assembly,  from  Rev.  xiv.  4.     These 
 
 *  The  Indians  at  Susquehannah  are  a  mixed  cotn[)any  of  many  nations,  speaking 
 various  lanjjuages,  and  few  of  them  properly  of  the  Six  Nations.  But  yet  the  coun- 
 try having:  formerly  been  conquered  by  the  Six  Nations,  they  claim  the  land  ;  and 
 the  Susquehannah  Indians  are  a  kind  of  vassals  to  them. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERP.  107 
 
 are  they  that  follow  the  Lamb,  &;c.  God  was  pleased  again  to 
 give  me  very  great  freedom  and  clearness,  but  not  so  much  warmth 
 as  before.  However,  there  was  a  most  amazing  attention  in  the 
 whole  assembly ;  and,  as  I  was  informed  afterwards,  this  was  a 
 sweet  season  to  many. 
 
 April  22.  "  1  enjoyed  some  sweetness  in  retirement,  in  the 
 morning.  At  eleven  o'clock,  Mr.  Beaty  preached,  with  freedom 
 and  life.  Then  1  preached  from  John  vii.  37.  In  the  last  day,  oic. 
 and  concluded  the  solemnity.  Had  some  freedom  ;  but  not  equal 
 to  what  I  enjoyed  before  :  yet  in  the  prayer  the  Lord  enabled 
 me  to  cry,  1  hope  with  a  child-like  temper,  with  tenderness  and 
 brokenness  of  heart. — Came  home  with  Mr.  Beaty  to  his  lodgings; 
 and  spent  the  time,  while  riding,  and  afterwards,  very  agreeably 
 on  divine  things. 
 
 April  23.  "Left  Mr.  Beaty's,  and  returned  home  to  the 
 Forks  of  Delaware  ;  enjoyed  some  sweet  meditations  on  the 
 road  ;  and  was  enabled  to  lift  up  my  heart  to  God  in  prayer  and 
 praise." 
 
 The  t7vo  next  days  he  speaks  of  much  bodily  disorder,  but  of 
 some  degrees  of  spiritual  assistance  and  freedom. 
 
 April  26.  "  Conversed  with  a  Christian  friend  with  some 
 warmth  ;  and  felt  a  spirit  of  mortification  to  the  world,  in  a  very 
 great  degree.  Afterwards,  was  enabled  to  pray  fervently,  and  to 
 rely  on  God  sweetly,  for  '•  all  things  pertaining  to  life  and  godli- 
 ness." Just  in  the  evening,  was  visited  by  a  dear  Christian  friend, 
 with  whom  I  spent  an  hour  or  two  in  conversation,  on  the  very 
 soul  of  religion.  There  are  many  with  whom  I  can  talk  about 
 religion;  but  alas !  I  find  few  with  whom  I  can  talk  religion  itself; 
 but,  blessed  be  the  Lord  there  are  some  that  love  to  feed  on  the 
 kernel,  rather  than  the  shell." 
 
 The  next  day,  he  went  to  the  Irish  settlement,  often  before 
 mentioned,  about  fifteen  miles  distant;  where  he  spent  the  Sab- 
 bath, and  preached  with  som-^  considerable  assistance.  On  Mon- 
 day,  he  returned,  in  a  very  weak  state,  to  his  own  lodgings. 
 
 April  30.  "  Was  scarce  able  to  walk  about,  and  was  obliged 
 to  betake  myself  to  bed,  much  of  the  day  ;  and  passed  away  the 
 time  in  a  very  solitary  manner;  being  neither  able  to  read,  medi- 
 tate, nor  pray,  and  had  none  to  converse  with  in  that  wilderness. 
 O  how  heavily  does  time  pass  away,  when  I  can  do  nothing  to  any 
 good  purpose  ;  but  seem  obliged  to  trifle  away  precious  time  ! 
 But  of  late,  I  have  seen  it  my  duty  to  divert  myself  by  all  lawful 
 
198  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 means,  that  I  may  be  fit,  at  least  some  small  part  of  my  time,  to 
 labour  for  God.  And  here  is  the  ditference  between  my  present 
 diversions,  and  those  I  once  pursued,  when  in  a  natural  state. 
 Then  I  made  a  god  of  diveisions,  delij^^hted  in  them  with  a  neg- 
 lect of  God,  and  drew  my  highest  satisfaction  from  them.  Now  I 
 use  them  as  means  to  help  me  in  living  to  God;  fixedly  delighting 
 in  him,  and  not  in  them,  drawing  my  highest  satisfation  from  him. 
 Then  they  were  my  all;  now  they  are  only  means  leading  to  my 
 all.  And  those  things  that  are  the  greatest  diversion,  when  pur- 
 sued with  this  view,  do  not  tend  to  hinder,  but  promote  my  spirit- 
 uality ;  and  I  see  now,  more  than  ever,  that  they  are  absolutely 
 necessary. 
 
 May  1.  "Was  not  able  to  sit  up  more  than  half  the  day  :  and 
 yet  I  had  such  recruits  of  strength  sometimes,  that  I  was  able  to 
 write  a  little  on  a  divine  subject.  Was  grieved  that  I  could  no 
 more  live  to  God.  In  the  evening,  had  some  sweetness  and  in- 
 tenseness  in  secret  prayer. 
 
 May  2.  "  In  the  evening,  being  a  little  better  in  health,  I 
 walked  into  the  woods,  and  enjoyed  a  sweet  season  of  meditation 
 and  prayer.  My  thoughts  ran  upon  Ps.  xvii.  15.  I  shall  be  sat- 
 isfied, when  I  awake,  with  thy  likeness*  And  it  was  indeed  a  pre- 
 cious text  to  me.  I  longed  to  preach  to  the  whole  world  ;  and  it 
 seerned  to  me,  they  must  needs  all  be  melted  in  hearing  such 
 precious  divine  truths,  as  I  then  had   a  view  and  relish  of.     My 
 
 thoughts  were  exceeding  clear,   and  my  soul  was  refreshed. 
 
 Blessed  be  the  Lord,  that  in  my  late  and  present  weakness,  now 
 for  many  days  together,  my  mind  vmM  is  not  gloomy,  as  at  some 
 other  limes. 
 
 May  3.  "  Felt  a  little  vigour  of  body  and  mind,  in  the  morn- 
 ing ;  and  had  some  freedom,  strength,  and  sweetness  in  prayer. 
 Rode  to,  and  spent  some  time  with  my  Indians.  In  the  evening, 
 again  retiring  into  the  woods,  I  enjoyed  some  sweet  meditations  on 
 Isaiah  liii.  1.      Yet  it  pleased  the  Lord  to  bruise  him,  &;c." 
 
 The  three  next  days  were  spent  in  much  weakness  of  body  : 
 but  }  et  he  enjoyed  some  assistance  in  public  and  private  duties  ; 
 and  seems  to  have  remained  free  from  melancholy. 
 
 Mayl,  "Spent  the  day  mainly  in  making  preparation  for  a 
 journey  into  the  wilderness.  Was  still  weak,  and  concerned  how 
 I  should  perform  so  difficult  a  journey.  Spent  some  time  in  prayer 
 for  the  divine  blessing,  direction,  and  protection  in  my  intended 
 journey  ;  but  wanted  bodily  strength  to  spend  the  day  in  fasting 
 and  prayer." 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BllAlNERD.  199 
 
 The  next  day,  he  set  out  on  his  journey  to  the  Susquehannah, 
 with  his  interpreter.  He  endured  great  hardships  and  fatis^ues 
 in  his  way  thither  through  a  hideous  wilderness;  where,  after 
 having  lodged  one  night  in  the  open  woods,  he  was  overtaken 
 with  a  north-easterly  storm,  in  which  he  was  almost  ready  to  j)er- 
 ish.  Having  no  manner  of  shelter,  and  not  heingable  to  make  a 
 fire  in  so  great  a  rain,  he  could  have  no  comfort  if  he  stopt  ; 
 therefore  he  determined  to  go  forward  in  hopes  of  meeting  with 
 some  shelter,  without  which  he  thought  it  impossible  to  live  the 
 night  through  ;  but  their  horses — happening  to  eat  poison,  for  the 
 want  of  other  food,  at  a  place  where  they  lodged  the  night  be- 
 fore— were  so  sick,  that  they  could  neither  ride  nor  lead  them, 
 but  were  obliged  to  drive  them  and  travel  on  foot  ;  until,  through 
 the  mercy  of  God,  just  at  dusk,  they  came  to  a  bark  hut,  where 
 they  lodged  that  night.  After  he  came  to  the  Susquehannah,  he 
 travelled  about  a  hundred  miles  on  the  river,  and  visited  many 
 towns  and  settlements  of  the  Indians  •,  saw  some  of  seven  or 
 eight  tribes,  and  preached  to  different  nations,  by  different  inter- 
 preters. He  was  sometimes  much  discouraged,  and  sunk  in  his 
 spirits,  through  the  opposition  which  appeared  in  the  Indians  to 
 Christianity.  At  other  times,  he  was  encouraged  by  the  disposi- 
 tion which  some  of  these  people  manifested  to  hear,  and  willingness 
 to  be  instructed.  He  here  met  with  some  who  had  formerly  been 
 his  hearers  atKaunaumeek,  and  had  removed  hither;  who  saw  and 
 heard  him  again  with  great  joy,  '*He  spent  a  fortnight  among  the 
 Indians  on  this  river,  and  passed  through  considerable  labours  and 
 hardships,  frequently  lodging  on  the  ground,  and  sometimes  in 
 the  open  air.  '  At  length  he  felt  extremely  ill,  as  he  was  riding  in 
 the  wilderness,  being  seized  with  an  ague,  followed  with  a  burn- 
 ing fever,  aad  extreme  pains  in  his  head  and  bowels,  attended 
 with  a  great  evacuation  of  blood  ;  so  that  he  thought  he  mast 
 have  perished  in  the  wilderness.  But  at  last  coming  to  an  Indian 
 trader's  hut,  he  got  leave  to  stay  there  ;  and  though  without  phys- 
 ic or  food  proper  for  him,  it  pleased  God,  after  about  a  week's 
 distress,  to  relieve  him  so  far  that  he  was  able  to  ride.  He  re- 
 turned homewards  from  Juncauta,  an  island  far  down  the  river; 
 where  was  a  considerable  number  of  Indians,  who  appeared  more 
 free  from  prejudices  against  Christianity,  than  most  of  the  other 
 Indians.  He  arrived  at  the  Forks  of  Delaware  on  Thursday, 
 May  30,  after  having  rode  in  this  journey  about  three  hundred 
 and  forty  miles.  He  came  home  in  a  \ery  weak  state,  and  un- 
 der dejection  of  mind:  which  was  a  great  hindrance  to  him  in 
 religious  exercises.  However,  on  the  Sabbath,  after  having 
 preached  to  the  Indians,  he  preached  to  the  white  people,  with 
 some  success,  from   Is.  liii.  10.      Yet  it  pleased  the  Lord  to  bruise 
 
200  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 him^  &:c.  some  being  awakened  by  his  preaching.  The  next 
 day,  he  was  nnuch  exercised  for  want  of  spiritual  life  and  fer- 
 vency. 
 
 June  4.  '*  Towards  evening,  was  in  distress  for  God's  presence, 
 and  a  sense  of  divine  things:  withdrew  myself  to  the  woods,  and 
 spent  near  an  hour  in  prayer  and  meditation;  and  I  think,  the 
 Lord  had  compassion  on  me,  and  gave  me  some  sense  of  divine 
 things  ;  which  was  indeed  refreshing  and  quickening  to  me.  My 
 soul  enjoyed  intenseness  and  freedom  in  prayer,  so  that  it  grieved 
 me  to  h'.ave  the  place. 
 
 June  5.  "Felt  thirsting  desires  after  God,  in  the  morning. 
 In  the  evening,  enjoyed  a  precious  season  of  retirement :  was  fa- 
 voured with  some  clear  and  sweet  meditations  upon  a  sacred 
 text ;  divine  things  opened  with  clearness  and  certainty,  and  had 
 a  divine  stamp  upon  them.  My  soul  was  also  enlarged  and 
 refreshed  in  prayer;  I  delighted  to  continue  in  the  duty ;  and  was 
 sweetly  assisted  in  praying  for  my  fellow-christians,  and  my  dear 
 brethren  in  the  ministry.  Blessed  be  the  dear  Lord  for  such  en- 
 joyments. O  how  sweet  and  precious  it  is,  to  have  a  clear  appre- 
 hension and  tender  sense  of  the  mystery  of  godliness,  of  true  ho- 
 liness, and  of  likeness  to  the  best  of  beings !  O  what  a  blessed- 
 ness it  is,  to  be  as  much  like  God,  as  it  is  possbile  for  a  creature 
 to  be  like  his  great  Creator  !  Lord  give  me  more  of  thy  likeness; 
 "I  shall  be  satisfied,  when  I  awake,  with  it." 
 
 June  6,  "Was  engaged,  a  considerable  part  of  the  day,  in 
 meditation  and  study  on  divine  subjects.  Enjoyed  some  special 
 freedom,  clearness,  and  sweetness  in  meditation.  O  how  refresh- 
 ing it  is,  to  be  enabled  to  improve  time  well!" 
 
 The  next  day,  he  went  a  journey  of  near  fifty  miles  to  Ne- 
 shaminy,  to  assist  at  a  sacramental  occasion,  to  be  attended  at 
 Mr.  Beaty's  meeting-house;  being  invited  thither  by  him  and  his 
 people. 
 
 June  8.  "  Was  exceedingly  weak  and  fatigued  with  riding 
 in  the  heat  yesterday  :  but  being  desired,  1  preached  in  the 
 afternoon,  to  a  crowded  audience,  from  Is.  xl.  L  "  Comfort 
 ye,  comfort  ye  my  people,  saith  your  God.''  God  was  pleased 
 to  give  me  great  freedom,  in  opening  the  sorrows  of  God's 
 people,  and  in  setting  before  them  comforting  considerations. 
 And,  blessed  be  the  Lord,  it  was  a  sweet  melting  season  in  the 
 assembly. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  201 
 
 Lord^s  day,  June  9.  "Felt  some  longing  desires  of  the  pres- 
 ence of  God  to  be  with  his  people  on  the  solemn  occasion  of  the 
 day.  In  the  forenoo-i  Mr.  Beaiy  preached;  and  there  appeared 
 some  warmth  in  the  assembly.  Afterwards,  I  assisted  in  the  ad- 
 ministration of  the  Lord's  supper:  and  towards  the  close  of  it, 
 I  discoursed  to  the  multitude  extempore,  with  some  reference  to 
 that  sacred  passage,  Is.  hii.  10.  ''Yet  it  pleased  the  Lord  to 
 bruise  him.''  Here  God  gave  me  great  assistance  in  addressing 
 sinners:  and  the  word  was  attended  with  amazing  power;  many 
 scores,  if  not  hundreds,  in  that  great  assembly,  consisting  of  three 
 or  four  thousand,  were  much  affected ;  so  that  there  was  a 
 "very  great  mourning,  like  the  mourning  of  HadadrimmoM." — 
 In  the  evening,  I  could  hardly  look  any  body  in  the  face,  be- 
 cause of  the  imperfections  I  saw  in  my  performances  in  the  day 
 past. 
 
 June  10.  "Preached  with  a  good  degree  of  clearness  and 
 some  sweet  warmth,  from  Psal,  xvii.  15.  "I  shall  be  satisfied, 
 when  I  awake,  with  thy  likeness."  And  blessed  be  God,  there 
 was  a  great  solemnity  and  attention  in  the  assembly,  and  sweet 
 refreshment  among  God's  people;  as  was  evident  then,  and  after- 
 wards. 
 
 JuneW.  "  Spent  the  day  mainly  in  conversation  with  dear 
 Christian  friends  ;  and  enjoyed  some  sweet  sense  of  divine  things. 
 O  how  desirable  it  is,  to  keep  company  with  God's  dear  children! 
 These  are  the  "  excellent  ones  of  the  earth,  in  whom,"  I  can 
 truly  say,  "is  all  my  delight."  O  what  delight  will  it  allbrd,  to 
 meet  them  all  in  a  stale  of  perfection !  Lord,  prepare  me  for  that 
 state." 
 
 The  next  day,  be  left  Mr.  Beaty's  and  went  to  Maiden- 
 head, in  New  Jersey  ;  and  spent  the  next  seven  days  in  a 
 comfortable  state  of  mind,  visiting  several  ministers  in  those 
 parts.  ^_ 
 
 June  18.  "Set  out  from  New  Brunswick  with  a  design  to  visit 
 some  Indians  at  a  place  called  Crossiveeksung,  in  N^evv  Jersey^ 
 towards  the    sea."^     In   the    afternoon,   came   to   a   place  called 
 
 *  BrAinerd  having,  when  at  Boston,  writton  and  left  with  a  friend,  a  brief 
 relation  of  facts  touching  his  labours  with  the  Indians,  and  reception  among  tliom, 
 during  the  space  of  time  between  Novembers,  1744,  and  June  19,  174.'),  (with  a 
 view  to  connect  his TVarrfl/ire,  addressed  to  iVlr.Pemberton,  and  \\\s  Journal,  in  case 
 they  should  ever  be  reprinted)  concludes  the  same  with  this  passage  ;  "  As  my  body 
 was  very  feeble,  so  my  mind  was  scarce  ever  so  much  damped  and  discouraged  about 
 
 26 
 
202  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 Cranberry,  and  meeting  with  a  serious  minister,  Mr.  Macknight, 
 I  lodged  there  with  him.  Had  some  enlargement  and  freedom  in 
 prayer  with  a  number  of  people. 
 
 the  conversion  of  the  Indians,  as  at  this  time.  And  in  this  state  of  body  and  mind 
 I  made  my  first  visit  to  the  Indians  in  New  Jersey,  where  God  was  pleased  to 
 display  his  power  and  grace  in  the  remarkable  maauer  that  I  have  represented  in 
 my  printed  Journal." 
 
CHAPTER  Vlf. 
 
 From  the  commencement  of  his  residence  at  Crossweeksung.,  to  the  close  of 
 the  first  part  of  his  Journal. 
 
 We  are  now  come  to  that  part  of  Brainerd's  life,  when  he  had 
 the  greatest  success  in  his  labours  tbr  the  good  of  souls,  and  in  his 
 particular  business  as  a  Missionary  to  the  Indians.  Long  had  he 
 agonized  in  prayer,  and  travailed  in  birth  for  their  conversion. 
 Often  had  he  cherished  the  hope  of  witnessing  that  desirable 
 event ;  only  to  (ind  that  hope  yield  to  fear,  and  end  in  disappoint- 
 ment. But  after  a  patient  continuance  in  prayer,  in  labour,  and 
 in  suffering,  as  it  were  through  a  long  night,  at  length  he  is  per- 
 mitted to  behold  the  dawning  of  the  day.  "  Weeping  continues 
 for  a  night;  but  joy  comes  in  the  morning."  He  went  forth 
 weeping,  bearing  precious  seed ;  and  now  he  comes  rejoicing, 
 bringing  his  sheaves  with  him.  The  desired  event  is  brought  to 
 pass  at  last ;  but  at  a  time,  in  a  place,  and  upon  subjects,  which 
 scarcely  ever  entered  into  his  heart. 
 
 An  account  of  this  was  originally  published  in  his  Journal  ; 
 consisting  of  extracts  from  his  Diary  during  one  year  of  his  resi- 
 dence at  Crossweeksung.  Those  extracts  are  now  incorporated 
 with  the  rest  of  his  Diary  for  the  same  period  in  regular  chrono- 
 logical order. 
 
 The  following  Preface,  by  the  correspondents,  introduced  the 
 Journal  to  the  notice  of  its  readers,  and  deserves  an  insertion  in 
 the  present  volume. 
 
 "  The  design  of  this  publication  is  to  give  God  the  glory  of  his  distin- 
 guishing grace,  and  gratify  the  pious  curiosity  of  those  who  are  waiting 
 and  praying  for  that  blessed  time,  when  the  Son  of  God,  in  a  more  ex- 
 tensive sense  than  has  yet  been  accomplished,  shall  receive  "  the 
 Heathen  for  his  inheritance,  and  the  uttermost  parts  of  the  earth  for  a 
 possession." 
 
 "  Whenever  any  of  the  guilty  race  of  mankind  are  awakened  to  a 
 just  concern  for  their  eternal  interest,  are  humbled  at  the  footstool  of 
 a  sovereign  God,  and  are  persuaded  and  enabled  to  accept  the  offers  of 
 redeeming  love,  it  must,  always  be  acknowledged  a  vvouderful  work 
 of  divine  grace,  which  demands  our  thankful  praises.  But  doubtless 
 it  is  a  more  affecting  evidence  of  almighty  power,  a  more  illustrious  dis- 
 play of  sovereign  mercy,  when  those  are  enlightened  with  the  knowl- 
 edge of  salvation,  who  have  for  many  ages  dwell  in  the  grossest  dark- 
 ness and  Heathenism,  and   are  brought  to  a  cheerful  subjection  to  the 
 
201  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 government  of  our  divine  Redeemer,  who  from  generation  to  genera- 
 tion had  remained  the  voluntary  slaves  of  "the  prince  of  darkness." 
 
 '.'  This  is  that  delightful  scene  which  will  present  itself  to  the  read- 
 er's view,  while  he  attentively  peruses  the  following  pages.  Nothing 
 certainly  can  be  more  agreeable  to  a  benevolent  and  religious  mind, 
 than  to  see  those  that  were  sunk  in  the  most  degenerate  state  of  hu- 
 man nature,  at  once,  not  only  renounce  those  barbarous  customs  they 
 had  been  inured  to  from  their  infancy,  but  surprisingly  transformed  into 
 the  character  of  real  and  devout  christians. 
 
 "  This  mighty  change  was  brought  about  by  the  plain  and  faithful 
 preaching  of  the  gospel,  attended  with  an  uncommon  effusion  of  the  di- 
 vine Spirit,  under  the  ministry  of  the  Reverend  David  Brainerd,  a 
 Missionary  employed  by  the  Honourable  Society  in  Scotkmd,  for  propa- 
 gating Christian  Knowledge. 
 
 "  And  surely  it  will  administer  abundant  matter  of  praise  and  thanks- 
 givijig  to  that  honourable  body,  to  find  that  their  generous  attempt  to 
 send  the  gospel  among  the  Indian  nations  upon  the  borders  of  New- 
 York,  New-Jersey,  and  Pennsylvania,  has  met  with  such  surprising 
 success. 
 
 "  It  would  perhaps  have  been  more  agreeable  to  the  taste  of  politer 
 readers,  if  the  following  Journal  had  been  cast  into  a  different  method, 
 and  formed  into  one  connected  narrative.  But  the  worthy  author 
 amidst  his  continued  labours,  had  no  time  to  spare  for  such  an  under- 
 taking. Besides,  the  pious  reader  will  take  a  peculiar  pleasure  to  see 
 this  work  described  in  its  native  simplicity,  and  the  operations  of  the 
 Spirit  upon  the  minds  of  these  poor  benighted  Pagans,  laid  down  just  in 
 the  method  and  order  in  which  they  happened.  This,  it  must  be  con- 
 fessed, will  occasion  frequent  repetitions  ;  but  these,  as  they  tend  to 
 give  a  fuller  view  of  this  amazing  dispensation  of  divine  grace  in  its 
 rise  and  progress,  we  trust,  will  be  easily  forgiven. 
 
 "  When  we  see  such  numbers  of  the  most  ignorant  and  barbarous  of 
 mankind,  \i\  the  space  of  a  few  months,  "turned  from  darkness  to  light, 
 and  from  the  power  of  sin  and  Satan  unto  God,"  it  gives  us  encourage- 
 ment to  wait  and  pray  for  that  blessed  time,  when  our  victorious  Re- 
 deemer shall,  in  a  more  signal  manner  than  he  has  yet  done,  display 
 the  "  banner  of  his  cross,"  march  on  from  "  conquering  to  conquer, 
 till  the  kingdoms  of  this  world  are  become  the  kingdoms  of  our  Lord 
 and  of  hh  Christ."  Yea,  we  cannot  but  lift  up  our  heads  with  joy,  and 
 hope  that  it  may  be  the  dawn  of  that  bright  and  illustrious  day,  when 
 the  Sun  of  Righteousness  shall  "  arise  and  shine  from  one  end  of  the 
 earth  to  the  other  ;"  when,  to  use  the  language  of  the  inspired  proph- 
 ets, '♦  the  Gentiles  shall  come  to  his  light,  and  kings  to  the  brightness 
 of  his  rising  ;"  in  consequence  of  which,  "  the  wilderness  and  solitary 
 places  sliali  be  glad,  and  the  desart  rejoice  and  l»lossom  as  the  rose." 
 
 "  It  is  doubtless  the  duty  of  all,  in  their  different  stations,  and  ac- 
 cording to  their  respective  capacities,  to  use  their  utmost  endeavours 
 to  bring  forward  this  promised,  this  desired  day.  There  is  a  great 
 want  of  schoolmasters  among  these   christianized   Indians,  to  instruct 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  203 
 
 their  youth  in  the  English  language,  and  the  principles  of*  the  christian 
 faith — for,  this,  as  yet,  there  is  no  certain  provision  made  ;  if  any  are 
 inclined  to  contribute  to  so  good  a  design,  we  are  persuaded  they  will 
 do  an  acceptable  service  to  the  "  kingdom  of  the  Redeemer."  And  we 
 earnestly  desire  the  most  indigent  to  join,  at  least,  in  their  wishes  and 
 prayers,  that  this  work  may  prosper  more  and  more,  till  the  "whole 
 earth  is  filled  with  the  glory  of  the  Lord." 
 
 "  Crossweeksung^  June,   1745. 
 
 June  19.  "I  had  spent  most  of  my  time,  for  more  than  a  year 
 past,  among  the  Indians  at  the  Forks  of  Delaware  in  Pennsylva- 
 nia. During  that  time  I  made  two  journeys  to  the  Susquehannah 
 to  treat  with  the  Indians  on  that  river  respecting  Christianity  ; 
 and,  not  having  had  any  considerable  appearance  of  special  suc- 
 cess in  either  of  those  places,  my  spirits  were  depressed,  and  I 
 was  not  a  little  discouraged.  Hearing  that  there  were  a  number 
 of  Indians  at  a  place  called  Crossweeksung,  in  New-Jersey,  nearly 
 eighty  miles  south-east  from  the  Forks  of  Delaware,  I  deter- 
 mined to  make  them  a  visit,  and  see  what  might  be  done  towards 
 christianizing  them  ;  and  accordingly  arrived  among  them  on 
 Wednesday,  June  19th,  1745. 
 
 ''  I  found  very  few  persons  at  the  place  which  I  visited,  and 
 perceived  that  the  Indians  in  these  parts  were  very  much  scatter- 
 ed. There  were  not  more  than  two  or  three  families  in  a  place; 
 and  these  small  settlements,  six,  ten,  fifteen,  twenty,  and  thirty 
 miles,  and  some  more  from  that  place.  However,  I  preached  to 
 those  few  1  found  ;  who  appeared  well  disposed,  serious  and  at- 
 tentive, and  not  inclined  to  cavil  and  object,  as  the  Indians  had 
 done  elsewhere.  When  I  had  concluded  my  discourse,  I  inform- 
 ed them  ;  there  being  none  but  a  few  women  and  children;  that 
 I  would  willingly  visit  them  again  the  next  day.  Whereupon 
 they  readily  set  out  and  travelled  ten  or  fifteen  miles,  in  order  to 
 give  notice  to  some  of  their  friends  at  that  distance.  These  wo- 
 men, like  the  woman  of  Samaria,  seemed  desirous  that  others 
 should  see  the  man,  who  had  told  them  what  they  had  done  in 
 their  past  lives,  and  the  misery  that  attended  their  idolatrous 
 ways.  At  night  was  worn  out,  and  scarcely  able  to  walk,  or  sit 
 up.     O  !  how  tiresome  is  earth  ;  how  dull  the  body  ! 
 
 June  20.  "  Visited  and  preached  to  the  Indians  again  as  I  pro- 
 posed. Numbers  were  gathered  at  the  invitations  of  their  friends, 
 who  had  heard  me  the  day  before.  These  also  appeared  as  at- 
 tentive, orderly  and  well  dispose*'  as  the  others  :  and  none  made 
 any  objections,  as  Indians  in  o.her  places  have  usually  done.  To- 
 wards night  preached  to  the  Indians  again,  and  had  more  hearers 
 
206  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 than  before.  In  the  evening  enjoyed  some  peace  and  serenity  of 
 mind,  and  comfort  and  composure  in  prayer,  alone  ;  and  was  en- 
 abled to  lift  up  my  head  with  some  degree  of  joy,  under  an  ap- 
 prehension that  my  redemption  draws  nigh.  O !  blessed  be  God 
 that  there  remains  a  rest  to  his  poor  weary  people  ! 
 
 June  21.  "  Rode  to  Freehold  to  see  Mr.  William  Tennent, 
 and  spent  the  day  comfortably  with  him.  My  sinking  spirits  were 
 a  little  raised  and  encouraged  ;  and  I  felt  my  soul  breathing  after 
 God,  in  the  midst  of  christian  conversation;  and  in  the  evening 
 was  refreshed  in  secret  prayer  ;  saw  myself  a  poor  worthless 
 creature,  without  wisdom  to  direct  or  strength  to  help  myself. — 
 
 0  blessed  be  God,  who  lays  me  under  a  happy,  a  blessed  neces- 
 sity of  living  upon  himself! 
 
 June  22.  ''  About  noon  rode  to  the  Indians  again,  and  next 
 night  preached  to  them.  Found  my  body  much  strengthened, 
 and  was  enabled  to  speak  with  abundant  plainness  and  warmth. 
 Their  number,  which  at  first  consisted  of  seven  or  eight  persons, 
 was  now  increased  to  nearly  thirty.  There  was  not  only  a  sol- 
 emn attention  among  them,  but  some  considerable  impression,  it 
 was  apparent,  was  made  upon  their  minds  by  divine  truth.  Some 
 began  to  feel  their  misery,  and  perishing  state,  and  appeared  con- 
 cerned for  a  deliverance  from  it.  The  power  of  God  evidently 
 attended  the  word;  so  that  several  persons  were  brought  under 
 great  concern  for  their  souls,  and  made  to  shed  many  tears,  and 
 to  wish  for  Christ  to  save  them.  My  soul  was  much  refreshed 
 and  quickened  in  my  work  :  and  I  could  not  but  spend  much  time 
 with  them  in  order  to  open  both  their  misery  and  their  remedy. 
 This  was  indeed  a  sweet  afternoon  to  me.     While  riding,  before 
 
 1  came  to  the  Indians,  my  spirits  were  refreshed,  and  my  soul  en- 
 abled to  cry  to  God  almost  incessantly,  for  many  miles  together. 
 In  the  evening,  also,  I  found  that  the  consolations  of  God  were 
 not  small.  I  was  then  willing  to  live,  and  in  some  respects  de- 
 sirous of  it,  that  I  might  do  something  for  the  dear  kingdom  of 
 Christ;  and  yet  death  appeared  pleasant ;  so  that  1  was  in  some 
 measure  in  a  strait  between  two  ;  having  a  desire  to  depart.  I 
 am  often  weary  of  this  world,  and  want  to  leave  it  on  that  ac- 
 count ;  but  it  is  desirable  to  be  drawn,  rather  than  driven  out 
 of  it. 
 
 Lord"* s  day ^  June  23.  "  Preached  « to  the  Indians,  and  spent 
 the  day  with  them.  Their  number  still  increased;  and  all  with 
 one  consent,  seemed  to  rejoice  in  my  coming  among  them.  Not 
 a  word  of  opposition  was  heard  from  any  of  them  against  Chris- 
 tianity, although  in  times  past  they  had  been  as  much  opposed  to 
 any  thing  of  that  nature,  as  any   Indians  whatsoever.     Some  of 
 
MExMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  207 
 
 them,  not  many  months  before,  were  enraged  with  my  interpreter, 
 because  he  attempted  to  teach  them  something  of  Christianity. 
 
 June  24.  "  Preached  to  the  Indians  at  their  desire,  and  upon 
 their  own  motion.  To  see  poor  Pagans  desirous  of  hearing  the 
 gospel  of  Christ,  animated  me  to  discourse  to  them ;  aUhough  I 
 was  now  very  weakly,  and  my  spirit?  much  exhausted.  They  at- 
 tended with  the  greatest  seriousness  and  diligence;  and  some  con- 
 cern for  their  souls'  salvation  was  apparent  among  them. 
 
 June  27.  "  Visited  and  preached  to  the  Indians  again.  Their 
 number  now  amounted  to  about  forty  persons.  Their  solemnity 
 and  attention  still  continued,  and  a  considerable  concern  for  their 
 souls,  became  very  apparent  among  members  of  them.  My  soul 
 rejoiced  to  find,  that  God  enabled  me  fe>  be  faithful,  and  that  he 
 was  pleased  to  awaken  these  poor  Indian?  by  my  means.  O  how 
 heart-reviving  and  soul  refreshing  it  is  to  tne,  to  see  the  fruit  of  my 
 labours! 
 
 June  28,  "The  Indians  being  now  gathered,  a  considerable 
 number  of  them,  from  their  several  and  distant  habitations  request- 
 ed me  to  preach  twice  a  day  to  them  ;  being  desirous  to  hear  as 
 much  as  they  possibly  could  while  I  was  with  them.  I  cheerfully 
 complied  with  their  request,  and  could  not  but  admire  the  good- 
 ness of  God,  who  I  was  persuaded,  had  inclined  them  thus  to  in- 
 quire after  the  way  of  salvation. 
 
 "  In  the  evening,  my  soul  was  revived,  and  my  heart  hfted  up 
 to  God  in  prayer  for  my  poor  Indians,  myself,  and  friends,  and 
 the  dear  church  of  God.  O  how  refreshing,  how  sweet  was  this! 
 Bless  the  Lord,  O  my  soul,  and  forget  not  his  goodness  and  ten- 
 der mercy ! 
 
 June  29.  "Preached  twice  to  the  Indians;  and  could  not  but 
 wonder  at  their  seriousness,  and  the  strictness  of  their  attention. 
 Saw,  as  I  thought,  the  hand  of  God  very  evidently,  and  in  a  man- 
 ner somewhat  remarkable,  making  provision  for  their  subsistence 
 together,  in  order  to  their  being  instructed  in  divine  things.  For 
 this  day,  and  the  day  before,  with  only  walking  a  little  way  from 
 the  place  of  our  daily  meeting,  they  killed  three  deer,  which  were 
 a  seasonable  supply  for  their  wants,  and  without  which,  they  could 
 not  have  subsisted  together  in  order  to  attend  the  means  of  grace. 
 Blessed  be  God  who  has  inchned  their  hearts  to  hear.  O  how 
 refreshing  it  is  to  me  to  see  them  attend,  with  such  uncommon 
 diligence  and  affection,  with  tears  in  their  eyes  and  concern  in 
 their  hearts  !  In  the  evening,  could  not  but  lift  up  my  heart  to  God 
 in  prayer,  while  riding  to  my  lodging ;  and,  blessed  be  his  name, 
 had  assistance  and  freedom.  O  how  much  better  than  life  is  the 
 presence  of  God! 
 
208  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 Lord^s  day,  June  30.  "  Preached  twice  this  day  also.  Ob- 
 served yet  more  concern  and  aftection  among  the  poor  Heathens 
 than  ever;  so  that  they  even  constrained  me  to  tarry  yet  longer 
 with  them,  although  my  constitution  was  exceedingly  worn  out, 
 and  my  health  much  impaired  by  my  late  fatigues  and  labours ; 
 and  especially  by  my  late  journey  to  Susquehannah  in  May  last, 
 in  which  I  lodged  on  the  ground  for  several  weeks  together. 
 
 July  1.  "Preached  again  twice  to  a  very  serious  and  atten- 
 tive assembly  of  Indians;  they  having  now  learned  to  attend  the 
 worship  of  God  with  christian  decency  in  all  respects.  There 
 were  now  between  forty  and  fifty  persons  of  them  present,  old 
 and  young.  I  spent  a  considerable  time  in  discoursing  with  them 
 in  a  more  private  way;  inquiring  of  them  wdiat  they  remembered 
 of  the  great  truths  which  had  been  taught  them  from  day  to  day; 
 and  may  justly  say,  it  was  amazing  to  see  how  they  had  received 
 and  retained  the  instructions  given  them,  and  what  a  measure  of 
 knowledge  some  of  them  had  acquired  in  a  few  days. 
 
 July  2.  "Was  obliged  to  leave  these  Indians  at  Crosweeksung, 
 thinking  it  my  duty  as  soon  as  mj  health  would  admit,  again  to  visit 
 those  atthe  Forks  of  Delaware.  When  I  came  to  take  leave  of  them 
 and  to  speak  particulatly  to  each  of  them.,  they  all  earnestly  inquir- 
 ed when  I  would  come  again,  and  expressed  a  great  desire  of  being 
 further  instructed.  Of  their  own  accord  the)'  agreed,  that  when 
 I  should  come  again,  they  would  all  meet  and  live  together,  du- 
 ring my  continuance  with  them;  and  that  they  would  use  their 
 utmost  endeavours  to  gather  all  the  other  Indians  in  these  parts 
 who  were  yet  more  remote.  When  I  parted  from  them,  one  told 
 me,  with  many  tears,  "She  wished  God  would  change  her  heart;" 
 another,  that  "  she  wanted  to  find  Christ;"  and  an  old  man,  who 
 had  been  one  of  their  chiefs,  wept  bitterly  with  concern  for  his 
 soul.  I  then  promised  them  to  return  as  speedily  as  my  health 
 and  business  elsewhere  would  permit,  and  felt  not  a  little  con- 
 cern at  parting,  lest  the  good  impressions,  then  apparent  upon 
 numbers  of  them,  might  decline  and  wear  off,  when  the  means 
 came  to  cease.  Yet  I  could  not  but  hope,  that  He,  who  I  trust- 
 ed, had  begun  a  good  work  among  them,  and  who,  I  knew,  did 
 not  stand  in  need  of  means  to  carry  it  on,  would  maintain  and 
 promote  it.  At  the  same  time,  I  must  confess,  that  1  had  often 
 seen  encouraging  app-^arances  among  the  Indians  elsewhere,  prove 
 wholly  abortive,  and  it  appeared  that  the  favour  would  be  too 
 great,  if  God  should  now,  after  I  had  passed  through  so  conside- 
 rable a  series  of  almost  fruitless  labours  and  fatigues,  and  after  my 
 rising  hopes  had  been  so  often  frustrated  among  these  poor  pa- 
 gans, give  me  any  special  success  in  my  labours  with  them,  I 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  209 
 
 could  not  believe,  and  scarcely  dared  to  hope,  that  the  event  would 
 be  so  happy;  and  carcely  ever  found  myself  more  suspended 
 between  hope  and  fear  in  any  affair,  or  at  any  time,  than  in  this. 
 
 "This  encouraging  disposition,  and  readiness  to  receive  instruc- 
 tion, now  apparent  among  the  Indians,  seems  to  have  been  the 
 happy  effect  of  the  conviction  which  one  or  two  of  them  met 
 with,  sometime  since  at  the  Forks  of  Delaware  ;  who  have  since 
 endeavoured  to  shew  their  friends  the  evil  of  idolatry.  Though 
 the  other  Indians  seemed  but  little  to  regard,  and  rather  to  de- 
 ride, them;  yet  this,  perhaps,  has  put  them  into  a  thinking  pos- 
 ture of  mind,  or  at  least,  given  them  some  thoughts  about  Chris- 
 tianity, and  excited  in  some  of  them  a  curiosity  to  hear ;  and  ^o 
 made  way  for  the  present  encouraging  attention.  An  apprehen- 
 sion that  this  might  be  the  case,  here,  has  given  me  encourage- 
 ment that  God  may,  in  such  a  manner,  bless  the  means  which  I 
 have  used  with  the  Indians  in  other  places ;  where,  as  yet,  there 
 is  no  appearance  of  it.  If  so,  may  his  name  have  the  glory  of 
 it:  for  I  have  learnt,  by  experience,  that  he  only  can  open  the 
 ear,  engage  the  attention,  and  incline  the  hearts  of  poor  benight- 
 ed, prejudiced  pagans,  to  receive  instruction. 
 
 "Rode  from  the  Indians  to  Brunswick,  nearly  forty  miles,  and 
 lodged  there.  Felt  my  heart  drawn  after  God  in  prayer,  ?ilmost 
 all  the  forenoon,  especially  in  riding.  In  the  evening,  I  could 
 not  help  crying  to  God  for  those  poor  Indians;  and,  after  I  went 
 to  bed,  my  heart  continued  to  go  out  to  God  for  them  till  I  drop- 
 ped asleep.     O,  blessed  be  God,  that  I  may  pray  !" 
 
 He  was  now  so  fatigued  by  constant  preaching  to  these  Indians, 
 yielding  to  their  importunate  desires,  that  he  found  it  necessary 
 to  give  himself  some  relaxation.  He  spent,  therefore,  about  a 
 week  in  New-Jersey,  after  he  left  the  Indians;  visiting  several 
 ministers,  and  performing  some  necessary  business,  before  he 
 went  to  the  Forks  of  Delaware.  Though  he  was  weak  in  body, 
 yet  he  seems  to  have  been  strong  in  spirit.  On  Friday,  July  12, 
 he  arrived  at  his  own  house  in  the  Forks  of  Delaware;  continu- 
 ing still  free  from  melancholy;  from  day  to  day  enjoying  freedom, 
 assistance,  and  refreshment  in  the  inner  man.  But  on  Wednes- 
 day, the  next  week,  he  seems  to  have  had  some  melancholy 
 thoughts  about  his  doing  so  little  for  God,  being  so  much  hinder- 
 ed  by  weakness  of  body. 
 
 Forks  of  Delaware^  in  Pennsylvania,  July  1745. 
 
 Lord'^s  day,  July  14.  "  Discoursed  to  the  Indians  twice.  Seve- 
 ral of  them   appeared   concerned,  and   were,  I  have   reason   to 
 
 27 
 
210  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 think,  in  some  measure  convinced  by  the  Divine  Spirit,  of  their 
 sin  and  misery ;  so  that  they  wept  much  the  whole  time  of  di- 
 vine service.  Afterwards,  discoursed  to  a  number  of  white  peo- 
 ple then  present. 
 
 July  IS.  "  Preached  to  my  people,  who  attended  diligently 
 beyond  what  had  been  common  among  these  Indians  :  and  some 
 of  them  appeared  concerned  for  their  souls.  Longed  to  spend 
 the  little  inch  of  time  1  have  in  the  world,  more  for  God.  Felt  a 
 spirit  of  seriousness,  tenderness,  sweetness  and  devotion;  and 
 wished  to  spend  the  whole  night  in  praver  and  communion  with 
 God. 
 
 July  19.  "In  the  evening,  walked  abroad  for  prayer  and  medi- 
 tation, and  enjoyed  composure  and  freedom  in  these  sweet  exer- 
 cises, especially  in  meditation  on  Rev.  iii.  12:  "  Him  that  over- 
 conieth,  will  1  make  a  pillar  in  the  temple  of  my  God."  he. 
 This  was  then  a  delightful  theme  to  me,  and  it  refreshed  my  soul 
 to  dwell  on  it  O  when  shall  I  go  no  more  out  from  the  service 
 and  enjoyment  of  the  dear  Redeemer !  Lord  hasten  the  blessed 
 day  ! 
 
 Loi'd\s  day,  July  21.  "  Preached  to  the  Indians  first ;  then  to 
 a  number  of  white  people  present ;  and  in  the  afternoon,  to  the 
 Indians  again.  Divine  truth  seemed  to  make  very  considerable 
 impressions  upon  several  of  them,  and  caused  the  tears  to  flow 
 fre.  iy.  Afterwards  I  baptized  my  interpreter,  and  his  wife,  who 
 were  the  first  whom  I  baptized  among  the  Indians. 
 
 "They  are  both  persons  of  some  experimental  knowledge  in 
 religion ;  have  both  been  awakened  to  a  solemn  concern  for  their 
 souls;  have  to  appearance,  been  brought  to  a  sense  of  their  mise- 
 ry, and  undoneness  in  themselves  ;  have  both  appeared  to  be  com- 
 forted with  divine  consolations  ;  and  it  is  apparent  that  both  have 
 passed  a  great  and  I  cannot  but  hope,  a  saving,  change.  It  may 
 per'iaps  be  satisfactory  and  agreeable,  that  I  should  give  some 
 brief  relation  of  this  man's  exercises  and  experience,  since  he 
 has  been  with  me;  especially  since  he  is  employed  as  my  Inter- 
 preter to  others.  When  I  first  employed  him  in  this  business,  in 
 the  beginning  of  the  summer  of  1744,  he  was  well  fitted  for  his 
 work,  in  regard  to  his  acquaintance  with  the  Indian  and  English 
 languages,  as  well  as  with  the  manners  of  both  nations  ;  and  in 
 regard  to  his  desire  that  the  Indians  should  conform  to  the  man- 
 ners and  customs  of  the  English,  and  especially  to  their  manner 
 of  living.  But  he  seemed  to  have  little  or  no  impression  of  reli- 
 gion upon  his  mind,  and  in  that  respect  was  very  imjit  for  his 
 work  ;  being  incapable  of  understanding  and  communicating  to 
 others  many  things  of  importance,  so  that  I  laboured  under  great 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  211 
 
 disadvantages  in  addressing  the  Indians,  for  want  of  his  having  an 
 experimental,  as  well  as  nnore  doctrinal,  acquaintance  with  divine 
 truths;  and,  at  times,  my  spirits  sunk,  and  were  much  discouraged 
 under  this  difficulty  ;  especially  when  I  observed  that  divine  truths 
 made  little  or  no  impressions  upon  his  mind  for  many  weeks  to- 
 gether. He  indeed  behaved  soberly  after  I  employed  him  ;  al- 
 though before,  he  had  been  a  hard  drinker ;  and  seemed  honestly 
 engaged,  as  far  as  he  was  capable,  in  the  performance  of  his  work. 
 Especially  he  appeared  very  desirous  that  the  Indians  should  re- 
 nounce their  heathenish  notions  and  practices,  and  conform  to  the 
 customs  of  the  christian  world.  But  still  he  seemed  to  have  no 
 concern  about  his  own  soul,  until  he  had  been  with  me  a  conside- 
 rable time. 
 
 ''  Near  the  latter  end  of  July,  1744, 1  preached  to  an  assembly 
 of  white  people,  with  more  freedom  and  fervency  than  I  could 
 possibly  address  the  Indians  with,  without  their  having  first  ob- 
 tained a  greater  measure  of  doctrinal  knowledge.  At  this  time 
 he  was  present,  and  was  somewhat  awakened  to  a  concern  for  his 
 soul ;  so  that  the  next  day  he  discoursed  freely  with  me  about  his 
 spiritual  concerns,  and  gave  me  an  opportunity  to  use  further  en- 
 deavours to  fasten  the  impressions  of  his  perishing  state  upon  his 
 mind.  I  could  plainly  perceive,  for  some  time  after  this,  that  he 
 addressed  the  Indians  with  more  concern  ?ind  fervency  th-Aii  he  had 
 formerly  done. 
 
 "  But  these  impressions  seemed  quickly  to  decline  ;  and  he  re- 
 mained in  a  great  measure  careless  and  secure,  until  sometime 
 late  in  the  autumn  of  the  year  following  ;  when  he  fell  into  a  weak 
 and  languishing  state  of  body  ;  and  continued  much  disordered 
 for  several  weeks  together.  At  this  season  divine  truth  took  hold 
 of  him,  and  made  deep  impressions  upon  his  mind.  He  was 
 brought  under  great  concern  for  his  soul;  and  his  exercises  were 
 not  now  transient  and  unsteady,  but  constant  and  abiding,  so  that 
 his  mind  was  burdened  from  day  to  day  ;  and  it  was  now  his  great 
 inquiry,  "  What  he  should  do  to  be  saved  ?"  This  spiritual 
 trouble  prevailed,  until  his  sleep  in  a  great  measure  departed  from 
 him,  and  he  had  little  rest  day  or  night ;  but  walked  about  under' 
 great  pressure  of  mind,  for  he  was  still  able  to  waik,  and  appeared 
 like  another  man  to  his  neighbours,  who  could  not  but  observe  his 
 behaviour  with  wonder.  After  he  had  been  some  time  under 
 this  exercise,  while  he  was  striving  to  obtain  mercy,  he  says  there 
 seemed  to  be  an  impassable  mountain  before  him.  He  was  press- 
 ing towards  heaven,  as  he  thought ;  but  "his  way  was  hedged  up 
 with  thorns,  so  that  he  could  not  stir  an  inch  further."     He  look- 
 
212  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 ed  this  way,  and  that  way,  but  could  find  no  way  at  all.  He  thought 
 if  he  could  but  make  his  way  through  these  thorns  and  briers,  and 
 climb  up  the  first  steep  pitch  of  the  mountain,  that  then  there 
 might  be  hope  for  him  ;  but  no  way  or  means  could  he  find  to  ac- 
 complish this.  Here  he  laboured  for  a  time,  but  all  in  vain.  He 
 saw  it  was  impossible,  he  says,  for  him  ever  to  help  himself  through 
 this  insupportable  difficulty.  ''  It  signified  just  nothing  at  all  for 
 him  to  struggle  and  strive  any  more."  Here,  he  says,  he  gave 
 over  striving,  and  felt  that  it  was  a  gone  case  with  him,  as  to  his 
 own  power,  and  that  all  his  attempts  were,  and  for  ever  would 
 be,  vain  and  fruitless.  Yet  he  was  more  calm  and  composed  un- 
 der this  view  of  things,  than  he  had  been  while  striving  to  help 
 himself. 
 
 "  While  he  was  giving  me  this  account  of  his  exercises,  I  was 
 not  without  fears  that  what  he  related  was  but  the  working  of  his 
 own  imagination,  and  not  the  effect  of  any  divine  illumination  of 
 mind.  But,  before  I  had  time  to  discover  my  fears,  he  added, 
 that  at  this  time  he  felt  himself  in  a  miserable  and  perishing  con- 
 dition :  that  he  saw  plainly  what  he  had  been  doing  all  his  days  ; 
 and  that  he  had  never  done  one  good  thing,  as  he  expresses  it.  He 
 knew  he  was  not  guilty  of  some  wicked  actions  of  which  he  knew 
 some  others  guilty.  He  had  not  been  accustomed  to  steal,  quar- 
 rel, and  murder  ;  the  latter  of  which  vices  are  common  among  the 
 Indians.  He  likewise  knew  that  he  had  done  many  things  that 
 were  right ;  he  had  been  kind  to  his  neighbours,  <Sz;c.  "  But  still 
 his  cry  was,  that  he  had  never  done  one  good  thing^^'*  "  I  knew," 
 said  he,  "  that  I  had  not  been  so  bad  as  some  others  in  some 
 things  ;  and  that  I  had  done  many  things  which  folks  call  good  ; 
 but  all  this  did  me  no  good  now.  1  saw  that  all  was  bad,  and  that 
 I  had  never  done  one  good  thing;"  meaning  that  he  had  never 
 done  any  thing  from  a  right  principle,  and  with  a  right  view, 
 though  he  had  done  many  things  that  were  materially  good  and 
 right.  "  And  now  I  thought,"  said  he,  "  that  I  must  sink  down 
 to  hell ;  that  there  was  no  hope  for  me,  "  because  I  never  could 
 do  any  thing  that  was  good  :"  and  if  God  let  me  alone  ever  so 
 long,  and  1  should  try  ever  so  much,  still  I  should  do  nothing  but 
 what  is  bad." 
 
 "  This  further  account  of  his  exercises  satisfied  me  that  it  was 
 not  the  mere  working  of  his  imagination;  since  he  appeared  so 
 evidently  to  die  to  himself,  and  to  be  divorced  from  a  dependence 
 upon  his  own  righteousness,  and  good  deeds,  to  which  mankind  in 
 a  fallen  state  are  so  much  attached  ;  and  upon  which"  they  are  so 
 ready  to  hope  for  salvation. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  213 
 
 "  There  was  one  thing  nnore  in  his  view  of  things  at  this  time, 
 which  was  very  remarkable.  He  not  only  saw,  he  says,  what  a 
 miserable  state  he  himself  was  in,  but  he  likewise  saw  that  the 
 world  around  him,  in  general,  were  in  the  same  perishing  circum- 
 stances, notwithstanding  the  profession  which  many  of  them  made 
 of  Christianity,  and  the  hope  which  they  entertained  of  obtaining 
 everlasting  happiness.  This  he  saw  clearly,  as  if  he  was  now 
 waked  out  of  sleep,  or  had  a  cloud  taken  from  his  eyes."  He  saw 
 that  the  life  which  he  had  lived  was  the  way  to  eternal  death,  that 
 he  was  now  on  the  brink  of  endless  misery  ;  and  when  he  looked 
 around  he  saw  multitudes  of  others,  who  had  lived  the  same  life 
 with  himself,  persons  who  had  no  more  goodness  than  he,  and  yet 
 dreamed  that  they  were  safe  enough,  as  he  had  formerly  done. 
 He  was  fully  persuaded,  by  their  conversation  and  behaviour, 
 that  they  had  never  felt  their  sin  and  misery,  as  he  now  felt  his. 
 
 "  After  he  had  been  for  some  time  in  this  condition,  sensible  of 
 the  impossibility  of  helping  himself  by  any  thing  which  he  could 
 do,  or  of  being  delivered  by  any  created  arm;  so  that  he  had  "  giv- 
 en up  all  for  lost,"  as  to  his  own  attempts,  and  was  become  more 
 calm  and  composed  ;  then,  he  says,  it  was  borne  in  upon  his  mind, 
 as  if  it  had  been  audibly  spoken  to  him,  "  There  is  hope,  there  is 
 hope."  Whereupon  his  soul  seemed  to  rest,  and  he  in  some 
 measure  satisfied,  though  he  had  no  considerable  joy. 
 
 "  He  cannot  here  remember  distinctly  any  views  he  had  of 
 Christ,  or  give  any  clear  account  of  his  soul's  acceptance  of  him, 
 which  makes  his  experience  appear  the  more  doubtful,  and  ren- 
 ders it  less  satisfactory  to  himself  and  others  than  it  might  be,  if 
 he  could  remember  distinctly  the  apprehensions  and  actings  of  his 
 mind  at  this  season. — But  these  exercises  of  soul  were  attended 
 and  followed  with  a  very  great  change  in  the  man  ;  so  that  it  might 
 justly  be  said  he  was  become  another  man,  if  not  a  new  man.  His 
 conversation  and  deportment  were  much  altered  ;  and  even  the 
 careless  world  could  not  but  wonder  what  had  befallen  him,  to 
 make  so  great  a  change  in  his  temper,  discourse,  and  behaviour. 
 Especially  there  was  a  surprising  alteration  in  his  public  perform- 
 ances. He  now  addressed  the  Indians  with  admirable  fervency, 
 and  scarcely  knew  when  to  leave  off.  Sometimes,  when  I  had 
 concluded  my  discourse  and  was  returning  homeward,  he  would 
 tarry  behind  to  repeat  and  inculcate  what  had  been  spoken. 
 
 "  His  change  is  abiding,  and  his  life,  so  far  as  I  know,  unblem- 
 ished to  this  day  ;  though  it  is  now  more  than  six  months  since  he 
 experienced  this  change  ;  in  which  space  of  time  he  has  been  a? 
 much  exposed  to  strong  drink  as  possible,  in  divers  places  where 
 
214  '  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 it  has  been  moving  as  free  as  water;  and  yet  has  never,  that  I 
 know  of,  discovered  any  hankering  desire  after  it.  He  seems  to 
 have  a  very  considerable  experience  o( spiritual  exercise,  and  dis- 
 courses feelingly  of  the  conflicts  and  consolations  of  a  real  chris- 
 tian. His  heart  echoes  to  the  soul-humbling  doctrines  of  grace, 
 and  he  never  appears  better  pleased  than  when  he  hears  of  the 
 absolute  sovereignty  of  God^  and  the  salvation  of  sinners  in  a  way 
 o(  mere  free  grace.  He  has  lately  had  also  more  satisfaction  res- 
 pecting his  own  state ^  and  has  been  much  enlightened  and  assisted 
 in  his  work  ;  so  that  he  has  been  a  great  comfort  to  me. 
 
 "  After  a  strict  observation  of  his  serious  and  savoury  conversa- 
 tion, his  christian  temper,  and  unblemished  behaviour  for  such  a 
 length  of  time,  as  well  as  his  experience,  of  which  I  have  given  an 
 account ;  I  think  that  I  have  reason  to  hope  that  he  is  "  created 
 anew  in  Christ  Jesus  to  good  works."  His  name  is  Moses  Finda 
 Fautaury.  He  is  shoutffty  years  of  age,  and  is  pretty  well  ac- 
 quainted with  the  pagan  notions  and  customs  of  his  countrymen  ; 
 and  so  is  the  better  able  now  to  expose  them.  He  has,  I  am  per- 
 suaded, already  been,  and  I  trust  will  yet  be,  a  blessing  to  the  oth- 
 er Indians. 
 
 July  23,  "  Preached  to  the  Indians,  but  had  few  hearers  :  Those 
 who  of  late  are  constantly  at  home,  seem,  of  late,  to  be  under 
 some  impressions  of  a  religious  nature. 
 
 July  26.  "  Preached  to  my  people,  and  afterwards  baptized 
 my  interpreter"* s  children.  In  the  evening,  God  was  pleased  to  help 
 me  in  prayer,  beyond  what  I  have  experienced  for  some  time. 
 Especially,  my  soul  was  drawn  out  for  the  encouragement  of 
 Christ's  kingdom,  and  for  the  conversion  of  my  poor  people  ;  and 
 my  soul  relied  on  God  for  the  accomplishment  of  that  great  work. 
 How  sweet  were  the  thoughts  of  death  to  me  at  this  time  !  How  I 
 longed  to  be  with  Christ,  to  be  employed  in  the  glorious  work  of 
 angels,  and  with  an  angel's  vigour  and  delight !  Yet  how  willing  was 
 I  to  stay  awhile  on  earth,  that  I  might  do  something,  if  the  Lord 
 pleased  for  his  interest  in  the  world.  My  soul,  my  very  soul,  longed 
 for  the  ingathering  of  the  poor  Heathen;  and  I  cried  to  God  most 
 willingly  and  heartily.  I  could  not  but  cry.  This  was  a  sweet 
 season  ;  for  I  had  some  lively  taste  of  Heaven,  and  a  temper  of 
 mind  suited  in  some  measure  to  the  employments  and  entertain- 
 ments of  it.  My  soul  was  grieved  to  leave  the  place  ;  but  my 
 body  was  weak  and  worn  out,  and  it  was  nearly  nine  o'clock.  I 
 longed  that  the  remaining  part  of  life  might  be  filled  up  with  more 
 fervency  and  activity  in  the  things  of  God.  O  the  inward  peace, 
 composure,  and  god-like  serenity  of  such  a  frame  !    Heaven  must 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  215 
 
 differ  from  this  only  in  degree,  not  in  kind.  Lord!  ever  give  me 
 this  bread  of  life,  ' 
 
 Lord's  day,  July  28.  "  Preached  again,  and  found  my  people, 
 at  least  some  of  them  more  thoughtful  than  ever  about  iheir  soL;i3' 
 concerns.  I  was  told  by  some,  that  their  seeing  my  interpieter 
 and  others  baptized  made  them  more  concerned  than  any  thing 
 they  had  ever  seen  or  heard  before.  There  was  indeed  a  consid- 
 erable appearance  of  divine  power  among  them  while  the  ordi- 
 nance was  administered.  May  that  divine  influence  spread  and 
 increase  more  abundantly  ! 
 
 "  In  the  evening  my  soul  was  melted,  and  my  heartbroken  with 
 a  sense  of  past  barrenness  and  deadness, — O  how  I  then  longed  to 
 live  to  God  and  bring  forth  much  fruit  to  his  glory  ! 
 
 July  29.  Was  much  exercised  with  a  sense  of  vileness,  with 
 guilt  and  shame  before  God. 
 
 *'  Discoursed  to  a  number  of  my  people,  and  gave  them  some 
 particular  advice  and  direction ;  being  now  about  to  leave  them 
 for  the  present,  in  order  to  renew  my  visit  to  the  Indians  in  New- 
 Jersey.  They  were  very  attentive  to  my  discourse,  and  earnestly 
 desirous  to  know  when  I  designed  to  return  to  them  again." 
 
 On  Wednesday  July  31,  he  set  out  on  his  return  to  Crossweek- 
 sung,  and  arrived  there  the  next  diy.  In  his  way  thither,  he  had 
 longing  desires  that  he  might  come  to  the  Indians  there  in  the  ful- 
 ness of  the  blessing  of  the  gospel  of  Christ,  attended  with  a  sense 
 of  his  own  great  weakness,  dependence  and  worthlessness. 
 
 Crossweeksung,  (Kew- Jersey)  August,  1745. 
 
 August  2.  "  In  the  evening  I  retired,  and  my  soul  was  drawn 
 out  in  prayer  to  God ;  especially  for  my  poor  people,  to  whom  I 
 had  sent  word  that  they  might  gather  together,  that  I  might  preach 
 to  them  the  next  day.  I  was  much  enlarged  in  praying  for  their 
 saving  conversion  ;  and  scarcely  ever  found  my  desires  of  any 
 thing  of  this  nature  so  sensibly  and  clearly,  to  my  own  satisfaction, 
 disinterested  and  free  from  selfish  views.  It  seemed  to  me  I  had 
 no  care,  or  hardly  any  desire,  to  be  the  instrument  of  so  glorious  a 
 work  as  I  wished  and  prayed  for  among  the  Indians.  If  the 
 blessed  work  might  be  accompHshed  to  the  honour  of  God,  and 
 the  enlargement  of  the  dear  Redeemer's  kingdom  ;  this  was  all 
 my  desire  and  care  ;  and  for  this  mercy  I  hoped  but  with  trem- 
 bhng;  for  I  felt  what  Job  expresses,  chap.  9th,  16th,  "  If  I  had 
 called,  and  he  had  answered  me,  yet  would  I  not  believe  that  he 
 had  hearkened  unto  ray  voice."     My  rising  hopes,  respecting  the 
 
216  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 conversion  of  the  Indians,  have  been  so  often  dashed,  that  my 
 spirit  is  as  it  were  broken,  and  my  courage  wasted,  and  I  hardly 
 dare  hope.  I  visited  the  Indians  in  these  parts  in  June  last,  and 
 tarried  with  them  a  considerable  time,  preaching  almost  daily :  at 
 which  season  God  was  pleased  to  pour  upon  them  a  spirit  of 
 awakening  ar.d  concern  for  their  souls,  and  surprisingly  to  engage 
 their  attention  to  divine  truths.  I  now  found  them  serious,  and  a 
 number  of  them  under  deep  concern  for  an  interest  in  Christ.— 
 Their  convictions  of  their  sinful  and  perishing  state  were,  in  my 
 absence  from  them,  much  promoted  by  the  labours  and  endea- 
 vours of  Rev.  William  Tennent  ;  to  whom  1  had  advised  them 
 to  apply  for  direction  ;  and  whose  house  they  frequented  much 
 while  I  was  gone.  I  preached  to  them  this  day  with  some  view 
 to  Rev.  xxii.  17.  '' And  whosoever  will,  let  him  take  of  the  water 
 of  life  freely  ;"  though  I  could  not  pretend  to  handle  the  subject 
 methodically  among  them.  The  Lord,  I  am  persuaded,  enabled 
 ir»e,  in  a  manner  somewhat  uncommon,  to  set  before  them  the 
 Lord  Jesus  Christ  as  a  kind  and  compassionate  Saviour,  inviting- 
 distressed  and  perishing  sinners  to  accept  everlasting  mercy.  A 
 surprising  concern  soon  became  apparent  among  them.  There 
 were  about  twenty  adult  persons  together ;  many  of  the  Indians  at 
 remote  places  not  having  as  yet  had  time  to  come  since  my  return 
 hither ;  and  not  above  two  that  I  could  see  with  dry  eyes. 
 
 "  Some  were  much  concerned,  and  discovered  vehement  long- 
 ings of  soul  after  Christ,  to  save  them  from  the  misery  they  felt 
 and  feared. 
 
 LorcTs  day,  Aug,  4.  ^'  Being  invited  by  a  neighbouring  minis- 
 ter to  assist  in  the  administration  of  the  Lord's  supper,  I  complied 
 with  his  request,  and  took  the  Indians  along  with  me;  not  only 
 those  who  were  together  the  day  before,  but  many  more  who  were 
 coming  to  hear  me  ;  so  that  there  were  nearly  fifty  in  all,  old  and 
 young.  They  attended  the  several  discourses  of  the  day ;  and 
 some  of  them,  who  could  understand  English,  were  much  affect- 
 ed ;  and  all  seemed  to  have  their  concern  in  some  measure 
 raised. 
 
 "  Now  a  change  in  their  manners  began  to  appear  very  visible. 
 In  the  evening,  when  they  came  to  sup  together,  they  would  not 
 take  a  morsel  until  they  had  sent  to  me  to  come  and  supplicate  a 
 blessing  on  their  food  ;  at  which  time  sundry  of  them  wept;  es- 
 pecially when  I  reminded  them  how  they  had  in  times  past  eat 
 their  feasts  in  honour  to  devils,  and  neglected  to  thank  God  for 
 them, 
 
 August  b.  *' After  a  sermon  had  been  preached  by  another 
 minister,  I  preached,  and  concluded  the  public  work  of  the  solem- 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  217 
 
 nity  from  John  7th,  37th.  In  the  last  day,  Sic;  and  in  my  dis- 
 course addressed  the  Indians  in  particular,  who  sat  in  a  part  of  the 
 house  by  themselves;  at  which  time  one  or  two  of  them  were 
 struck  with  deep  concern,  as  they  afterwards  told  me,  who  had 
 been  little  affected  before  ;  and  others  had  their  concern  increased 
 to  a  considerable  degree.  In  the  evening,  the  greater  part  of  thera 
 being  at  the  house  where  I  lodged,  I  discoursed  to  them  ;  and 
 found  them  universally  engaged  about  their  souls'  concerns;  in- 
 quiring "what  they  should  do  to  be  saved."  All  their  conversa- 
 tion among  themselves  turned  upon  religious  matters,  in  which 
 they  were  much  assisted  by  my  Interpreter,  who  was  with  them 
 day  and  night. 
 
 "This  day  there  was  one  woman,  who  had  been  much  conce  r 
 ed  for  her  soul  ever  since  she  first  heard  me  preach,  in  June  last, 
 who  obtained  comfort,  I  trust,  solid  and  well  grounded.  She 
 seemed  to  be  filled  with  love  to  Christ.  At  the  same  time  she 
 behaved  humbly  and  tenderly,  and  appeared  afraid  of  nothing  so 
 much  as  of  offending  and  grieving  him  whom  her  soul  loved. 
 
 Aug.  6.  "  In  the  morning  I  discoursed  to  the  Indians  at  the 
 house  where  we  lodged.  Many  of  them  were  much  affected, 
 and  appeared  surprisingly  tender;  so  that  a  few  words  about  the 
 concerns  of  their  souls  would  cause  th  tears  to  flow  freely,  and 
 produce  many  sobs  and  groans. — In  the  afternoon,  they  being  re- 
 turned to  the  place  where  I  had  usually  preached  among  them,  I 
 again  discoursed  to  them  there.  There  were  about  fifty-five  per- 
 sons in  all;  ^houX  forty  that  were  capable  of  attending  Divine 
 service  with  understanding.  I  insisted  on  1  John,  4th,  10th. 
 Herein  is  love,  &ic.  They  seemed  eager  of  hearing ;  but  there 
 appeared  nothing  very  remarkable,  except  their  attention,  till  near 
 the  close  of  my  discourse;  and  then  Divine  truths  were  attended 
 with  a  surprising  influence,  and  produced  a  great  concern  among 
 them.  There  were  scarcely  three  m  forty  who  could  refrain  from 
 tears  and  bitter  cries.  They  all  as  one  seemed  in  an  agony  of 
 soul  to  obtain  an  interest  in  Christ;  and  the  more  I  discoursed  of 
 the  love  and  compassion  of  God  in  sending  his  Son  to  suffer  for  the 
 sins  of  men;  and  the  more  1  invited  them  to  come  and  partake  of 
 his  love  ;  the  more  their  distress  was  aggravated,  becausejhey^  felt 
 thems^Jyes_myible^o^egjTie.  It  was  surprising  to  see  how  their 
 hearts  seemed  to  be  pierced  with  the  tender  and  melting  invita- 
 tions of  the  gospel,  when  there  was  not  a  word  of  terror  spoken 
 to  them. 
 
 "  There  was  this  day  two  persons  who  obtained  relief  and  com- 
 fort; which,  when  I  canais  to  discourse  with  them  particularly, 
 appeared  solid,  rational  and  scriptural.     After  I  had  inquired  into 
 
 28 
 
218  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 the  grounds  of  their  comfort,  and  said  many  things  which  I  thought 
 proper  to  them  ;  I  asked  them  what  they  wanted  that  God  should 
 do  farther  for  them?  They  rephed,  *'  they  wanted  Christ  should 
 wipe  their  hearts  quite  clean,"  &;c.  So  surprising  were  now  the 
 doings  of  the  Lord,  that  1  can  say  no  less  of  this  day,  and  I  need 
 say  no  more  of  it,  than  that  the  arm  of  the  Lord  was  powerfully 
 and  marvellously  revealed  in  it. 
 
 Jug.  7.  "Preached  to  the  Indians  from  Is.  53,  3 — 10.  There 
 was  a  remarkable  influence  attending  the  word,  and  great  concern 
 in  the  assembly  ;  but  scarcely  equal  to  what  appeared  the  day  be- 
 fore ;  that  is,  not  quite  so  universal.  However,  most  were  much 
 affected,  and  many  in  great  distress  for  their  souls;  and  some  few 
 could  neither  go  nor  stand,  but  lay  flat  on  the  ground  as  if  pierced 
 at  heart,  crying  incessantly  for  mercy.  Several  were  newly 
 awakened;  and  it  was  remarkable  that,  as  fast  as  they  came  from 
 remote  places  round  about,  the  Spirit  of  God  seemed  to  seize 
 them  with  concern  for  their  souls.  After  public  service  was  con- 
 cluded, I  found  two  persons  more  who  had  newly  met  with  com- 
 fort, of  whom  I  had  good  hopes;  and  a  third,  of  whom  1  could  not 
 but  entertain  some  hopes,  whose  case  did  not  appear  so  clear  as 
 the  others  ;  so  that  there  were  now  six  in  all,  who  had  got  some 
 relief  from  their  spiritual  distresses ;  and  five,  whose  experience 
 appeared  very  clear  and  satisfactory.  It  is  worthy  of  remark, 
 that  those  who  obtained  comfort  first,  were  in  general  deeply  af- 
 fected with  concern  for  their  souls,  when  I  preached  to  them  in 
 June  last. 
 
 Aug.  8.  "In  the  afternoon  I  preached  to  the  Indians,  their 
 number  was  now  about  sixty-five  persons  ;  men,  women  and  chil- 
 dren. I  discoursed  uponXu]<e  14,  16 — 23,  and  was  favored  with 
 uncommon  freedom  in  my  discourse.  There  was  much  visible 
 concern  among  them,  while  I  was  discoursing  publicly;  but  after- 
 wards, when  1  spoke  to  one  and  another  more  particularly,  whom 
 1  perceived  under  much  concern,  the  power  of  God  seemed  to 
 descend  upon  the  assembly  "'like  a  miirhty  rushing  wind, ^''  and 
 with  an  astonishing  energy  bore  down  all  before  it.  I  stood  amaz- 
 ed at  the  influence,  which  seized  the  audience  almost  universally; 
 and  could  compare  it  to  nothing  more  aptly,  than  the  irresistible 
 force  of  a  mighty  torrent  or  swelling  deluge,  that  with  its  insup- 
 portable wciglit  and  pressure  bears  down  and  sweeps  before  it 
 whatever  comes  in  its  way.  Almost  all  persons  of  all  ages  were 
 bowed  down  with  concern  together,  and  scarcely  one  was  able  to 
 withstand  the  shock  of  thi^  surprising  operation.  Old  men  and 
 women,  vvho  had  been  drunken  wretches  for  many  years,  and 
 some  little  children,  not  more  than  six  or  seven  years  of  age,  ap- 
 
iMEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  219 
 
 peared  in  distress  for  their  soids,  as  well  as  persons  of  middle  age. 
 It  was  apparent  that  these  children,  some  of  them  at  least,  were 
 not  merely  frightened  with  seeing  the  general  concern ;  but  were 
 made  sensible  of  their  danger,  the  badness  of  their  hearts,  and 
 their  misery  without  Christ,  as  some  of  them  expressed  it.  The 
 most  stubborn  hearts  were  now  obliged  to  bow.  A  principal  man 
 among  the  Indians,  who  before  was  most  secure  and  self-righteous, 
 and  thought  his  state  good,  because  he  knew  more  than  the  gener- 
 ality of  the  Indians  had  formerly  done ;  and  who  with  a  great 
 degree  of  confidence  the  day  before  told  me  "  he  had  been  a 
 Christian  more  than  ten  years;"  was  now  brought  under  solemn 
 concern  for  his  soul,  and  wept  bitterly.  Another  man  advanced 
 in  years,  who  had  been  a  murderer,  a  pawaiv  or  conjurer,  and  a 
 notorious  drunkard,  was  likewise  brought  now  to  cry  for  mercy 
 with  many  tears,  and  to  complain  much  that  he  could  be  no  more 
 concerned  when  he  saw  his  danger  so  very  great. 
 
 "  They  were  almost  universally  praying  and  crying  for  mercy 
 in  every  part  of  the  house,  and  many  out  of  doors;  and  numbers 
 could  neither  go  nor  stand.  Their  concern  was  so  great,  each 
 one  for  himself,  thatnone  seemed  to  take  any  notice  of  those  about 
 them,  but  each  prayed  freely  for  himself.  I  am  led  to  think  they 
 were,  to  their  own  apprehensions,  as  much  retired  as  if  they  had 
 been  individually  by  themselves,  in  the  thickest  desart ;  or  I  be- 
 lieve rather  that  they  thought  nothing  about  any  thing  but  them- 
 selves, and  their  own  state,  and  so  were  every  one  praying  apart, 
 although  all  together.  It  seemed  to  me  that  there  was  now  an 
 exact  fulfilment  of  that  prophecy,  Zech.  12th,  10,  11,  12;  for 
 there  was  now  "a  great  mourning,  like  the  mourning  of  Hadad- 
 rimmon;" — and  each  seemed  to  "mourn  apart."  Methought 
 this  had  a  near  resemblance  to  the  day  of  God's  power,  mentioned 
 Josh.  10th,  14.;  fori  must  say  I  never  saw  any  day  like  it,  in  all 
 respects  :  it  was  a  day  wherein  I  am  persuaded  the  Lord  did 
 much  to  destroy  the  kingdom  of  darkness  among  this  people. 
 
 "  This  concern,  in  general,  was  most  rational  and  just.  Those 
 who  had  been  awakened  any  considerable  time,  complained  more 
 especially  of  the  badness  of  their  hearts;  and  those  who  were 
 newly  awakened,  of  the  badness  of  their  lives  and  actions;  and 
 all  were  afraid  of  the  anger  of  God,  and  of  everlasting  misery  as 
 the  desert  of  their  sins.  Some  of  the  white  people,  who  came 
 out  of  curiosity  to  hear  what  "  this  babbler  would  say"  to  the  poor 
 Ignorant  Indians,  were  much  awakened  ;  and  some  appeared  to  be 
 wounded  with  a  view  of  their  perishing  state.  Those  who  had 
 lately  obtained  relief,  were  filled  with  comfort  at  this  season. 
 They  appeared  calm  and  composed,   and   seemed   to  rejoice  in 
 
220  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 Christ  Jesus.  Some  of  them  took  their  distressed  friends  by  the 
 hand,  telling  them  of  the  goodness  of  Christ,  and  the  comfort  that 
 is  to  be  enjoyed  in  him  ;  and  thence  invited  them  to  come  and 
 give  up  their  hearts  to  him.  I  could  observe  some  of  them,  in 
 the  most  honest  and  unaffected  manner,  without  any  design  of  be- 
 ing taken  notice  of,  lifting  up  their  eyes  to  heaven,  as  if  crying  for 
 mercy,  while  they  saw  the  distress  of  the  poor  souls  around  them. 
 There  was  one  remarkable  instance  of  awakening  this  day  which 
 I  cannot  fail  to  notice  here.  A  young  Indian  woman,  who,  I  be- 
 lieve, never  knew  before  that  she  had  a  soul,  nor  ever  thought  of 
 any  such  thing,  hearing  that  there  was  something  strange  among 
 the  Indians,  came,  it  seems,  to  see  what  was  the  matter.  In  her 
 way  to  the  Indians  she  called  at  my  lodgings  ;  and  when  I  told 
 her  that  I  designed  presently  to  preach  to  the  Indians,  laughed,  and 
 seemed  to  mock;  but  went  however  to  them.  I  had  not  proceeded 
 far  in  my  public  discourse  before  she  felt  effectually  that  she  had 
 a  soul ;  and,  before  I  had  concluded  my  discourse,  was  so  con- 
 vinced of  her  sin  and  misery,  and  so  distressed  with  concern  for  her 
 soul's  salvation,  that  she  seemed  like  one  pierced  through  with  a 
 dart,  and  cried  out  incessantly.  She  could  neither  go  nor  stand, 
 nor  sit  on  her  seat  without  being  held  up.  After  public  service 
 was  over,  she  lay  flat  on  the  ground,  praying  earnestly,  and  would 
 take  no  notice  of,  nor  give  any  answer  to,  any  who  spoke  to  her. 
 I  barkened  to  hear  what  she  said,  and  perceived  the  burden  of 
 her  prayer  to  be,  "  Guttummaukalummeh  wechaumeh  kmeleh  JVo- 
 lah,^^  i.  e.  "  Have  mercy  on  me,  and  help  me  to  give  you  my  heart.^^ 
 Thus  she  continued  praying  incessantly  for  many  hours  together. 
 This  was  indeed  a  surprising  day  of  God's  power,  and  seemed 
 enough  to  convice  an  Atheist  of  the  truth,  importance,  and  power 
 of  God's  Word. 
 
 Aug.  9.  "Spent  almost  the  whole  day  with  the  Indians;  the 
 former  part  of  it  in  discoursing  to  many  of  them  privately,  and 
 especially  to  some  who  had  lately  received  comfort,  and  endeav- 
 ouring to  inquire  into  the  grounds  of  it,  as  well  as  to  give  them 
 some  proper  instructions,  cautions  and  directions. 
 
 "  In  the  afternoon  discoursed  to  them  publicly.  There  were 
 now  present  about  seventy  persons,  old  and  young,  I  opened  and 
 applied  the  parable  of  the  sower,  Matt.  13.  Was  unabled  to  dis- 
 course with  much  plainness,  and  found  afterwards  that  this  dis- 
 course was  very  instructive  to  ihern.  There  were  many  tears 
 among  them,  while  I  was  discoursing  publicly,  but  no  considerable 
 cry  :  yet  some  were  much  affected  with  a  few  words  spoken  from 
 Matt.  11.  28,  Come  unto  me  all  ye  that  labour,  he.  with  which  I 
 concluded  my  discourse.     But,  while  I  was  discoursing  near  night 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAlNERD.  221 
 
 to  two  or  three  of  the  awakened  persons,  a  Divine  influence  seem- 
 ed to  attend  what  was  spoken  to  them  in  a  powerful  manner ; 
 which  caused  the  persons  to  cry  out  in  anguish  of  soul,  ahhough  I 
 spoke  not  a  word  of  terror ;  but  on  the  contrary,  set  before  them 
 the  fulness  and  all-sufficiency  of  Christ's  merits,  and  his  willing- 
 ness to  save  all  that  come  to  him,  and  thereupon  pressed  them  to 
 come  without  delay.  The  cry  of  these  was  soon  heard  by  others, 
 who,  though  scattered  before,  immediately  gathered  round.  I 
 then  proceeded  in  the  same  stram  of  gospel-invitation,  till  they 
 were  all  melted  into  tears  and  cries,  except  two  or  three ;  and 
 seemed  in  the  greatest  distress  to  find  and  secure  an  interest  in  the 
 great  Redeemer.  Some,  who  had  littie  more  than  a  ruffle  made 
 in  their  passions  the  day  before,  seemed  now  to  be  deeply  affected 
 and  wounded  at  heart ;  and  the  concern  in  general  appeared  near- 
 ly as  prevalent  as  it  was  the  day  before.  There  was  indeed  a 
 very  great  mourning  among  them,  and  yet  every  one  seemed  to 
 mourn  apart.  For  so  great  was  their  concern,  that  almost  every 
 one  was  praying  and  crying  for  himself,  as  if  none  had  been  near. 
 "  Guttummauhalummeh;  guttummauhalummeh  ^^  i.  e.  "  Have  mer- 
 cy upon  me;  have  mercy  upon  me;  was  the  common  cry.  It  was 
 very  affecting  to  see  the  poor  Indians,  who  the  other  day  were 
 hollowing  and  yelling  in  their  idolatrous  feasts  and  drunken  frolics, 
 now  crying  to  God  with  such  importunity  for  an  intc^rest  m  bis 
 dear  Son  ! — Found  two  or  three  persons  who,  I  had  reason  to 
 hope,  had  taken  comfort  upon  good  grounds  since  the  evening  be- 
 fore; and  these,  with  others  who  had  obtained  comfort,  were  to- 
 gether, and  seemed  to  rejoice  much  that  God  was  carrying  on  his 
 work  with  such  power  upon  others. 
 
 Aug.  10.  "Rode  to  the  Indians,  and  began  to  discourse  more 
 privately  to  those  who  had  obtained  comfort  and  satisfaction  ;  en- 
 deavouring to  instruct,  direct,  caution,  and  comfort  them.  But 
 others,  being  eager  of  hearing  every  word  which  related  to  spirit- 
 ual concerns,  soon  came  together  one  after  another  ;  and,  when  I 
 had  discoursed  to  the  young  converts  more  than  half  an  hour, 
 they  seemed  much  melted  with  divine  things,  and  earnestly  desir- 
 ous to  be  with  Christ.  I  told  them  of  the  godly  soul's  perfect 
 purity,  and  full  enjoyment  of  Christ,  immediately  upon  its  sepa- 
 ration from  the  body  ;  and  that  it  would  be  inconceivably  more 
 happy  than  they  had  ever  been  for  any  short  space  of  time,  when 
 Christ  seemed  near  to  them  in  prayer  or  other  duties.  That  I 
 might  make  way  for  speaking  of  the  resurrection  of  the  body, 
 and  thence  of  the  complete  blessed  less  of  the  man  ;  I  said,  "  But 
 perhaps  some  of  you  will  say,  I  love  my  body  as  well  as  my  sou], 
 and  I  cannot  bear  to  think  that  my  body  shall  lie  dead,  if  my  soul 
 
22^  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERL). 
 
 is  happy."  To  which  they  all  cheerfully  replied,  "  Mutiohf 
 Muttoh;^''  before  I  had  opportunity  to  prosecute  what  I  designed 
 respecting  the  resurrection  ;  i.  e.  "  No^  J^o"  They  did  not  re- 
 gard their  bodies,  if  their  souls  might  be  with  Christ. — Then  they 
 appeared  willing  to  be  absent  from  the  body,  that  they  might  be 
 present  with  the  Lord. 
 
 "  When  I  had  spent  some  time  with  them,  I  turned  to  the  other 
 Indians,  and  spoke  to  them  from  Luke  19th,  10.  For  the  son  of 
 man  is  come  to  seek,  &:c.  I  had  not  discoursed  long,  before  their 
 concern  rose  to  a  great  degree;  and  the  house  was  filled  with  cries 
 and  groans.  When  I  insisted  on  the  compassion  and  care  of  the 
 Lord  Jesus  Christ  for  those  that  were  lost,  who  thought  themselves 
 undone,  and  could  find  no  way  of  escape  ;  this  melted  them  down 
 the  more,  and  aggravated  their  distress,  that  they  could  not  find 
 and  come  to  so  kind  a  Saviour. 
 
 "  Sundry  persons,  who  before  had  been  slightly  awakened, 
 were  now  deeply  wounded  with  a  sense  of  their  sin  and  misery. 
 One  man  in  particular,  who  was  never  before  awakened,  was  now 
 made  to  feel  that  "  the  word  of  the  Lord  was  quick  and  powerful, 
 and  sharper  than  any  two  edged  sword."  He  seemed  to  be  pierc- 
 ed at  heart  with  distress  ;  and  his  concern  appeared  most  rational 
 and  scriptural,  for  he  said  that  "  all  the  wickedness  of  his  past 
 life  was  brought  fresh  to  his  remembrance,  and  that  he  saw  all 
 the  vile  actions,  he  had  done  formerly,  as  if  done  but  yesterday." 
 
 "  Found  one  who  had  newly  received  comfort,  after  pressing 
 distress  from  day  today.  Could  not  but  rejoice,  and  admire  the 
 Divine  goodness  in  what  appeared  this  day.  There  seems  to  be 
 some  good  done  by  every  discourse  ;  some  newly  awakened  eve- 
 ry day,  and  some  comforted.  It  was  refreshing  to  observe  the 
 conduct  of  those  who  obtained  comfort ;  while  others  were  dis- 
 tressed with  fear  and  concern;  that  is  lifting  up  their  hearts  to  God 
 for  them. 
 
 LorcVs  day,  Aug.  11.  "  Discoursed  in  the  forenoon  from  the 
 parable  of  the  prodigal  son,  Luke  16th.  Observed  no  such  re- 
 markable effect  of  the  word  upon  the  assembly  as  in  days  past. 
 There  were  numbers  of  careless  spectators  of  the  white  people, 
 some  quakers  and  others.  In  the  afternoon,  I  discoursed  upon  a 
 part  of  St.  Peter's  sermon,  Acts  2nd  ;  and  at  the  close  of  my 
 discourse  to  the  Indians,  made  an  address  to  the  white  people  ; 
 and  divine  truths  seemed  then  to  be  attended  with  power,  both  to 
 English  and  Indians.  Several  of  the  white  heathen  were  awaken- 
 ed, and  could  not  longer  be  idle  spectators  ;  but  found  they  had 
 souls  to  save  or  lose  as  well  as  the  Indians ;  and  a  great  concern 
 spread  through  the  whole  assembly.     So  that  this  also  appeared  to 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  223 
 
 be  a  day  of  God's  power,  especially  towards  the  conclusion  of  it, 
 although  the  influence  attending  the  word  seemed  scarcely  so 
 powerful  now  as  in  days  past. 
 
 "  The  number  of  Indians,  old  and  young,  was  now  upwards  of 
 seventy;  and  one  or  two  were  newly  awakened  this  day,  who  nev- 
 er had  appeared  to  be  moved  with  concern  for  their  souls  before. 
 Those  who  had  obtained  relief  and  comfort,  and  had  given  hope- 
 ful evidences  of  having  passed  a  saving  change,  appeared  humbie 
 and  devout,  and  behaved  in  an  agreeable  and  Christian-like  man- 
 ner. I  was  refreshed  to  see  the  tenderness  of  conscie-ice  mani- 
 fest in  some  of  them  ;  one  instance  of  which  I  cannot  but  notice. 
 Perceiving  one  of  them  very  sorrowful  in  the  rriorning,  I  inqdired 
 into  the  cause  of  her  sorrow,  and  found  the  difficulty  was,  that 
 she  had  been  angry  with  her  child  the  evening  before,  and  was 
 now  exercised  with  fears  lest  her  anger  had  been  inordinate  and 
 sinful;  which  so  grieved  her,  that  she  waked  and  began  to  sob 
 before  day  light,  and  continued  weeping  for  several  hours  to- 
 gether, 
 
 Aug.  14.  "  Spent  the  day  with  the  Indians.  There  was  one 
 of  them,  who  had  some  time  since  put  away  his  wife,  as  is  com- 
 mon amongst  them,  and  taken  another  woman;  and,  being  now 
 brought  under  some  serious  impressions,  was  much  concerned 
 about  that  affair  in  particular,  and  seemed  fully  convinced  of  the 
 wickedness  of  the  practice,  and  earnestly  desired  to  know  what 
 God  would  have  him  to  do  in  his  present  circumstances.  When 
 the  Law  of  God  respecting  marriage  had  been  opened  to  them, 
 and  the  cause  of  his  leaving  his  wife  inquired  into;  and  when  it 
 appeared  that  she  had  given  him  no  just  occasion,  by  unchastity, 
 to  desert  her,  and  that  she  was  willing  to  forgive  his  past  miscon- 
 duct and  to  live  peaceably  with  him  for  the  future,  and  that  she 
 moreover  insisted  on  it  as  her  right  to  live  with  him  ;  he  was  then 
 told  that  it  was  his  indispensable  duty  to  renounce  the  woman 
 whom  he  had  last  taken,  and  receive  the  other,  who  was  his  prop- 
 er wife,  and  live  peaceably  with  her  during  life.  With  this  he 
 readily  and  cheerfully  complied  ;  and  thereupon  publicly  renoun- 
 ced the  woman  he  had  last  taken,  and  publicly  promised  to  live 
 with  and  be  kind  to  his  wife  during  life  ;  she  also  promising  the 
 same  to  him.  Here  appeared  a  clear  demonstration  of  the  power 
 of  God's  word  upon  their  hearts.  I  suppose  a  few  weeks  before, 
 the  whole  world  could  not  have  persuaded  this  man  to  a  compli- 
 ance with  Christian  rules  in  this  affair. 
 
 *'I  was  not  without  fears  that  this  proceeding  might  be  like  put- 
 ting "  new  wine  into  old  bottles ;"  and  that  some  might  be  preju- 
 diced against  Christianity,  when  they  saw  the  demands  made  by 
 
124  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 it.  But  the  man  being  much  concerned  about  the  matter,  the  deter- 
 mination of  it  could  be  deferred  no  longer  ;  and  it  seemed  to  have 
 a  good  rather  than  an  ill  effect  among  the  Indians ;  who  generally 
 owned  that  the  laws  of  Christ  were  good  and  right,  respecting  the 
 affairs  of  marriage. — In  the  afternoon  I  preached  to  them  from 
 the  apostle's  discourse  to  Cornelius,  Acts  10th.  34th,  &c.  There 
 appeared  some  affectionate  concern  among  them,  though  not 
 equal  to  what  appeared  in  several  of  the  former  days.  They  still 
 att(inJed  and  heard  as  for  their  lives,  and  the  Lord's  work 
 seemed  still  to  be  promoted  and  propagated  among  them. 
 
 Aug.  15.  "Preached  from  Luke  4th,  16—21.  ''And  he 
 came  to  Nazareth^'*''  &;c.  The  word  was  attended  with  power  upon 
 the  hi^arts  of  the  hearers.  There  was  much  concern,  many  tears, 
 and  affecting  cries  among  them;  and  some  in  a  peculiar  manner 
 were  deeply  wounded  and  distressed  for  their  souls.  There  were 
 some  newly  awakened  who  came  but  this  week,  and  convictions 
 seemed  to  be  promoted  in  others.  Those  who  had  received 
 comfort,  were  hkewise  refreshed  and  strengthened;  and  the  work 
 of  grace  appeared  to  advance  in  all  respects.  The  passions  of 
 the  congregation  in  general  were  not  so  much  moved,  as  in  some 
 days  past;  but  their  hearts  seemed  as  solemnly  and  deeply  affec- 
 ted with  divine  truths  as  ever,  at  least  in  many  instances,  although 
 the  concern  did  not  seem  so  universal,  and  to  reach  every  in- 
 dividual in  such  a  manner  as  it  appeared  to  do  some  days  be- 
 fore. 
 
 Aug,  16.  "Spent  a  considerable  time  in  conversing  with 
 sundry  of  the  Indians.  Found  one  who  had  got  relief  and  com- 
 fort after  pressing  concern  ;  and  could  not  but  hope,  when  I  came 
 to  discourse  particularly  with  her,  that  her  comfort  was  of  the 
 right  kind. — In  the  afternoon  I  preached  to  them  from  John  6th, 
 26 — 34.  Toward  the  close  of  my  discourse,  divine  truths  were 
 attended  with  considerable  power  upon  the  audience;  and  more 
 especially  after  public  service  was  over,  when  I  particularly  ad- 
 dressed sundry  distressed  persons. 
 
 "There  was  a  j^^reat  concern  for  their  souls  spread  pretty  gener- 
 ally among  them  ;  but  especially  there  were  two  persons  newly 
 awakened  to  a  sense  of  their  sin  and  misery;  one  of  whom  was 
 lately  come,  and  the  ether  had  all  along  been  very  attentive  and 
 desirous  of  being  awakened,  but  could  never  before  have  any  live- 
 ly view  of  her  perishing  state.  Now  her  concern  and  spiritual 
 distress  was  such,  that  I  thought  I  had  never  seen  any  more  pres- 
 sing. Sundry  old  men  were  also  in  distress  for  their  souls;  so 
 that  they  could  not  refrain  from  weeping  and  crying  aloud ;  and 
 their  bitter  groans  were  the  most  convincing  as  well  as  affecting 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  226 
 
 evidence  of  the  reality  and  depth  of  their  inward  anguish.  God 
 is  powerfully  at  work  annong  them.  True  and  genuine  convictio.iS 
 of  sin  are  daily  proiaoted  in  many  instances;  and  some  are  newly 
 awakened  from  time  to  time;  although  some  few,  who  felt  a  com- 
 motion in  their  passions  in  days  past,  seem  now  to  discover  tha: 
 their  hearts  were  never  duly  affected.  '  I  never  saw  the  work  of 
 God  appear  so  independent  of  means  as  at  this  time.  1  discours- 
 ed to  the  people,  and  spake  what  I  suppose  had  a  proper  tenden- 
 cy to  promote  convictions  ;  but  God's  manner  of  working  upon 
 them  seemed  so  entirely  supernatural,  and  above  means,  that  i 
 could  scarcely  believe  he  used  me  as  an  instrument,  or  what  1 
 spake  as  means  of  carrying  on  his  work.  For  it  appeared,  as  1 
 thought,  to  have  no  connexion  with  or  dependence  on  means  in 
 any  respect.  Though  I  could  not  but  continue  to  use  the  means.^ 
 which  I  thought  proper  for  the  promotion  of  the  work,  yet  God 
 seemed,  as  I  apprehended,  to  work  entirely  without  them,  i 
 seemed  to  do  nothing,  and  indeed  to  have  nothing  to  do,  but  to 
 "stand  still,  and  see  the  salvation  of  God;"  and  found  myself 
 obliged  and  delighted  to  say,  *'  Not  unto  us,"  not  unto  instruments 
 and  means,  "but to  thy  name  be  glory."  God  appeared  to  work 
 entirely  alone,  and  I  saw  no  room  to  attribute  any  part  of  this  work 
 to  any  created  arm. 
 
 Aug.  17.  "Spent  much  time  in  private  conferences  with  the 
 Indians.  Found  one  who  had  newly  obtained  relief  and  comfort, 
 after  a  long  season  of  spiritual  trouble  and  distress  ; — he  having 
 been  one  of  my  hearers  at  the  Forks  of  Delaware  for  more  than 
 a  year,  and  now  having  followed  me  here  under  deep  concern  for 
 his  soul ; — and  had  abundant  reason  to  hope  that  his  comfort  was 
 well  grounded,  and  truly  divine.  Afterwards  discoursed  publicly 
 from  Acts  8th,  20 — 39;  and  took  occasion  to  treat  concerning 
 baptism,  in  order  to  their  being  instructed  and  prepared  to  partake 
 of  that  ordinance.  They  were  yet  hungry  and  thirsty  for  the 
 word  of  God,  and  appeared  unwearied  in  their  attendance 
 upon  it. 
 
 Lord's  day  J  Aug.  18.  "Preached  in  the  forenoon  to  an  assem- 
 bly of  white  people,  made  up  of  Presbyterians,  Baptists,  Qua- 
 kers, &z;c.  Afterwards  preached  to  the  Indians,  from  John  6th, 
 35 — 40,  He  that  eateth  my  flesh,  he.  There  was  considerable 
 concern  visible  among  them,  though  not  equal  to  what  has  fre- 
 quently appeared  of  late. 
 
 Aug.  19.  "Preached  from  Isaiah  55th,  1st.  Ho  every  one 
 that  thirsteth.  Divine  truths  were  attended  with  power  upon 
 those  who  had  received  comfort,  and  others  also.  The  former 
 sweetly  melted  and  refreshed  with  divine  invitations:  the   latter 
 
 29 
 
226  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 much  concerned  for  their  souls,  that  they  might  obtain  an  interest 
 in  these  glorious  gospel  provisions  which  were  set  before  them. 
 There  were  numbers  of  poor  impotent  souls  that  waited  at  ihe 
 pool  for  healing  ;  and  the  angelseemed,  as  at  other  times  of  late, 
 to  trouble  the  waters,  so  that  there  was  yet  a  most  desirable  and 
 comfortable  prospect  of  the  spiritual  recovery  of  diseased  perish- 
 ing sinners.  Near  noon,  I  rode  to  Freehold,  and  preached  to  a 
 considerable  assembly,  from  Matt.  5th  3rd.  Blessed  are  the  poor 
 in  spirit,  he.  It.  pleased  God  to  leave  me  to  be  very  dry  and 
 barren ;  so  that  I  do  not  remember  to  have  been  so  straightened 
 for  a  whole  twelve  month  past.  God  is  just ;  and  he  has  made  me 
 to  acquiesce  in  his  will  in  this  respect.  It  is  contrary  to  flesh  and 
 blood  to  be  cut  off  from  all  freedom  in  a  large  auditory,  where 
 their  expectations  are  much  raised;  but  so  it  was  with  me  ;  and 
 God  helped  me  to  say  amen  to  it.  Good  is  the  will  of  the  Lord. 
 In  the  evening  I  felt  quiet  and  composed,  and  had  freedom  and 
 comfort  in  secret  prayer. 
 
 *^ug.  20.  "Was  composed  and  comfortable,  still  in  a  resigned 
 frame.  Travelled  from  Mr.  Tennent's,  in  Freehold,  to  Elizabeth 
 Town.  Was  refreshed  to  see  friends  and  relate  to  them  what  Gt)d 
 had  done  and  w^as  still  doing  among  my  poor  people. 
 
 Aug*  21.  "  Spent  the  forenoon  in  conversation  with  Mr.  Dick- 
 inson, contriving  something  for  the  settlement  of  the  Indians  to- 
 gether in  a  body,  that  they  might  be  under  better  advantages  for 
 instruction.  In  the  afternoon  spent  some  time  agreeably  with  oth- 
 er friends  ;  wrote  to  my  brother  at  college;  but  was  grieved  that 
 time  slid  away,  while  I  did  so  little  for  God. 
 
 Aug.  23.  "  In  the  morning  was  very  weak,  but  favored  with 
 some  freedom  and  sweetness  in  prayer,  was  comfortable  and 
 composed  in  mind.  Afternoon  rode  to  Crossweeksung  to  my 
 poor  people. 
 
 "Spent  some  time  with  the  Indians  in  private  discourse;  and,, 
 afterwards,  preached  to  them  from  John  6th,  44 — 50.  JYo  man  can 
 come  to  me,  except,  he.  There  was,  as  has  been  usual,  a  great 
 attention  and  some  affection  among  them.  Several  appeared 
 deeply  concerned  for  their  souls,  and  could  not  but  express  their 
 inward  anguish  by  tears  and  cries.  But  the  amazing  divine  influ- 
 ence, which  has  been  so  powerfully  among  them  in  general, 
 seems  at  present  in  some  degree  abated  ;  at  least,  in  regard  to  its 
 universality ;  though  many  who  have  obtained  no  special  comfort 
 still  retain  deep  impressions  of  divine  things. 
 
 Aug  24.  "Spent  the  forenoon  in  discoursing  to  some  of  the 
 Indians  in  order  to  their  receiving  the  ordinance  of  baptism. 
 When  I   had  opened  the  nature  of  the  ordinance,  the  obligations 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  227 
 
 attending  it,  the  duty  of  devoting  ourselves  to  God  in  it,  and  the 
 privilege  of  being  in  covenant  with  him;  numbers  of  them  seemed 
 to  be  filled  with  love  to  God,  delighted  with  the  thoughts  of  giving 
 themselves  up  to  him  in  that  solemn  and  public  manner,  and  mel- 
 ted and  refreshed  with  the  hopes  of  enjoying  the  blessed  Re- 
 deemer. Afterwards,  I  discoursed  publicly  from  I  Thess.  4th, 
 13  —  17.  But  I  would  not  have  you  he  ignorant,  Sic.  There  was 
 a  solemn  attention,  and  some  visible  concern  and  affection  in  the 
 time  of  public  service;  which  was  afterwards  increased  by  some 
 further  exhortations  given  to  them  to  come  to  Christ,  and  give  up 
 their  hearts  to  him,  that  they  might  be  fitted  to  "  ascend  up  and 
 meet  him  in  the  air,"  when  he  shall  "  descend  with  a  shout,  and 
 the  voice  of  the  archangel." 
 
 "  There  were  several  Indians  newly  come,  v^ho  thought  their 
 state  good,  and  themselves  happy,  because  they  had  sometimes 
 lived  with  the  white  people  under  gospel  light,  had  learned  to  read, 
 were  civil,  &ic.,  although  they  appeared  utter  strangers  to  their 
 hearts,  and  altogether  unacquainted  with  the  power  of  religion, 
 as  well  as  with  the  doctrines  of  grace.  With  these  I  discoursed 
 particularly  after  public  worship ;  and  was  surprised  to  see  their 
 self-righteous  dispositions,  their  strong  attachment  to  the  cove- 
 nant of  works  for  salvation,  and  the  high  value  they  put  upon 
 their  supposed  attainments.  Yet  after  much  discourse,  one  ap- 
 peared in  a  measure  convinced  that  "  by  the  deeds  of  the  law  no 
 flesh  living  can  be  justified  ;"  and  wept  bitterly  inquiring  what  he 
 must  do  to  be  saved. 
 
 This  was  very  comfortable  to  others,  who  had  gained  some  ex- 
 perimental knowledge  of  their  own  hearts  ;  for,  before,  they  were 
 grieved  with  the  conversation  and  conduct  of  these  new  comers, 
 who  boasted  of  their  knowledge,  and  thought  well  of  themselves, 
 but  evidently  discovered  to  those  who  had  any  experience  of  di- 
 vine truths  that  they  knew  nothing  of  their  own  hearts. 
 
 Lord^s  day,  Aug,  25.  "Preached  in  the  forenoon  from  Luke 
 XV.  37.  A  number  of  white  people  being  present,  I  made  an 
 address  to  them  at  the  close  of  my  discourse  to  the  Indians;  but 
 could  not  so  much  as  keep  them  orderly ;  for  scores  of  them  kept 
 walking  and  gazing  about,  and  behaved  more  indecently  than  any 
 Indians  I  have  ever  addressed.  A  view  of  their  abusive  conduct 
 so  sunk  my  spirits,  that  1  could  scarcely  go   on  with  my  work. 
 
 *'  In  the  afternoon  discoursed  from  Rev.  3d,  20 ;  at  which  time 
 the  Indians  behaved  seriously,  though  many  others  were  vain. 
 Afterwards  baptized  twenty-Jive  persons  of  the  Indians  ;  fifteen 
 adults  and  ten  children.  Most  of  the  adults,  I  have  comfortable 
 reason  to  hope,  are  renewed  persons  ;  and  there  was  not  one  of 
 
2!^8  MEMOIRS  OF  BKAINEKD. 
 
 them  but  what  I  entertained  some  hopes  of  in  that  respect; 
 thoiigh  the  case  of  two  or  three  of  them  appeared  more  doubt- 
 ful. 
 
 "  After  the  crowd  of  spectators  was  gone,  I  called  the  baptized 
 persons  together,  and  discoursed  to  them  in  particular;  at  the 
 same  time  inviting  others  to  attend.  I  reminded  them  of  the  sol- 
 emn obligations  they  were  now  under  to  live  to  God  ;  warned  them 
 of  the  evil  and  dreadful  consequences  of  careless  living,  especially 
 after  their  public  profession  of  Christianity ;  gave  them  directions 
 for  future  conduct;  and  encouraged  them  to  watchfulness  and  de- 
 votion, by  setting  before  them  the  comfort  and  happy  conclusion 
 of  a  religious  life. 
 
 "This  was  a  desirable  and  sweet  season  indeed  !  Their  hearts 
 were  engaged  and  cheerful  in  duty  ;  and  they  rejoiced  that  Ihey 
 had,  in  a  public  and  solemn  manner,  dedicated  themselves  to  God. 
 Love  seemed  to  reign  among  them  !  They  took  each  other  by 
 the  hand  with  tenderness  and  affection,  as  if  their  hearts  were 
 knit  together,  while  I  was  discoursing  to  them  ;  and  all  their  de- 
 portment tewards  each  other  was  such,  that  a  serious  spectator 
 might  justly  be  excited  to  cry  out  with  admiration,  "Behold  how 
 they  love  one  another."  Numbers  of  the  other  Indians,  on  see- 
 ing and  hearing  these  things,  were  much  affected,  and  wept  bit- 
 terly ;  longing  to  be  partakers  of  the  same  joy  and  comfort,  which 
 these  discovered  by  their  very  countenances  as  well  as  con- 
 duct. I  rode  to  iny  lodgings  in  the  evening,  blessing  the  Lord 
 for  his  gracious  visitation  of  the  Indians,  and  the  soul-refreshing 
 things  I  had  seen  the  day  past  among  them  ;  and  praying  that 
 God  would  still  carry  on  his  divine  work  among  them. 
 
 Aug,  26.  "Preached  to  my  people  form  John  6th,  51 — 55, 
 After  I  had  discoursed  some  time,  I  addressed  them  in  particular, 
 who  entertained  hopes  that  they  were  passed  from  death  unto  life. 
 Opened  to  them  the  persevering  nature  of  those  consolations 
 which  Christ  gives  his  people,  and  which  I  trusted  he  had  bestow- 
 ed upon  some  in  that  assembly ;  shewed  them  that  such  have 
 already  the  beginnings  of  eternal  life,  and  that  their  heaven  shall 
 speedily  be  completed. 
 
 "1  no  sooner  begun  to  discourse  in  this  strain,  than  the  dear 
 Christians  in  the  congregation  began  to  be  melted  with  affection 
 to,  and  desire  of,  the  enjoyment  of  Christ,  and  of  a  state  of  per- 
 fect purity.  They  wept  affectionately,  yet  joyfully;  and  their 
 tears  and  sobs  discovered  brokenness  of  heart,  and  yet  were  at- 
 tended with  real  comfort  and  sweetness.  It  was  a  tender,  affec- 
 tionate, humble  and  delightful  meeting,  and  appeared  to  be  the 
 genuine  effect  of  a  spirit  of  adoption,  and  very  far  from  that  spirit 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BKAINERD.  i!2i^ 
 
 of  bondage  under  which  they  not  long  since  laboured.  The  in- 
 fluence seemed  to  spread  from  these  through  the  whole  assembly; 
 and  there  quickly  appeared  a  wonderful  concern  among  them. 
 Many,  who  had  not  yet  found  Christ  as  an  all-sufficient  Saviour, 
 were  surprisingly  engaged  in  seeking  after  him.  It  was  indeed 
 a  lovely  and  very  interesting  assembly.  Their  number  was  now 
 about  ninety-Jive  persons,  old  and  young,  and  almost  all  affected 
 with  joy  rrrChrist  Jesus,  or  with  the  utmost  concern  to  obtain  an 
 interest  in  him. 
 
 "Being  now  convinced  that  it  was  my  duty  to  take  a  journey 
 far  back  to  the  Indians  on  the  Susquehannah,  it  being  now  a 
 proper  season  of  the  year  to  find  them  generally  at  home ;  after 
 having  spent  some  hours  in  public  and  private  discourse  with  my 
 people,  I  told  them  that  I  must  now  leave  them  for  the  present, 
 and  go  to  their  brethren  far  remote,  and  preach  to  them  ;  that  I 
 wanted  the  spirit  of  God  should  go  with  me,  without  whom  no- 
 thing could  be  done  to  any  good  purpose  among  the  Indians — as 
 they  themselves  had  opportunity  to  see  and  observe  by  the  bar- 
 renness of  our  meetings  at  sometimes,  when  there  was  much 
 pains  taken  to  affect  and  awaken  sinners,  and  yet  to  little  or  no 
 purpose,  and  asked  them  if  they  could  not  be  willing  to  spend 
 the  remainder  of  the  day  in  prayer  fo^  me,  that  God  would  go 
 with  me,  and  succeed  my  endeavours  for  the  conversion  of  these 
 poor  souls.  They  cheerfully  complied  with  the  motion,  and  soon 
 after  I  left  them,  the  sun  being  about  an  hour  and  an  half  high  at 
 night,  they  began  and  continued  praying  till  break  of  day,  or  very 
 near;  never  mistrusting  as  they  tell  me,  till  they  went  out  and 
 viewed  the  stars,  and  saw  the  morning  star  a  considerable  height, 
 that  it  was  later  than  bed  time.  Thus  eager  and  unwearied  were 
 they  in  their  devotions!  A  remarkable  night  it  was;  attended,  as 
 my  interpreter  tells  me,  with  a  powerful  influence  upon  those 
 who  were  yet  under  concern,  as  well  as  those  who  had  received 
 comfort.  There  were,  I  trust,  this  day,  two  distressed  souls 
 brought  to  the  enjoyment  of  sol/d  comfort  in  him  whom  the  wea- 
 ry find  rest.  It  was  likewise  remarkable,  that  this  day  an  old  In- 
 dian, who  had  all  his  days  been  an  idolater,  was  brought  to  give 
 up  his  rattles,  which  they  use  for  music  in  their  idolatrous  feasts 
 and  dances,  to  the  other  Indians,  who  quickly  destroyed  them. 
 This  was  done  without  any  attempt  of  mine  in  the  affair,  I  hav- 
 ing said  nothing  to  him  about  it,  so  that  it  seemed  to  be  nothing 
 but  the  power  of  God's  word,  without  any  particular  application 
 to  this  sin  that  produced  this  effect.  Thus  God  has  begun;  thus 
 he  has  hitherto  surprizingly  carried  on  a    work  of  grace  amongst 
 
i30  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 these  Indians.     May  the  glory  be  ascribed  to  him  who  is  the  sole 
 author  of  it. 
 
 "I  went  from  the  Indians  to  my  lodgings,  rejoicing  for  the 
 goodness  of  God  to  my  poor  people ;  and  enjoyed  freedom  of 
 soul  in  prayer,  and  other  duties  in  the  evening.  Bless  the  Lord, 
 O  my  soul!'' 
 
 The  next  day,  he  set  out  on  a  journey  towards  the  Forks  of 
 Delaware,  designing  to  go  from  thence  to  Susquehannah,  before 
 he  returned  to  Crossweeksung.  It  was  five  days  from  his  de- 
 parture from  Crossweeksung,  before  he  reached  the  Forks  ;  go- 
 ing round  by  the  way  of  Philadelphia,  and  waiting  on  the  Gov- 
 ernor of  Pennsylvania,  to  get  a  recommendation  from  him  to  the 
 Chiefs  of  the  Indians  ;  which  he  obtained.  He  speaks  of  much 
 comfort  and  spiritual  refreshment,  in  this  journey,  and  also,  a  sense 
 of  his  exceeding  unworthiness,  thinking  himself  the  meanest  crea- 
 ture that  ever  lived. 
 
 Forks  of  DelawarCy  in  Pennsylvania,  Sept.  1745. 
 
 LoriTs  day,  Sept.  I.  "Preached  to  the  Indians  from  Luke 
 xi.  16 — 23.  The  word  apneared  to  be  attended  with  some  pow- 
 er, and  caused  some  tears  m  the  assembly.  Afterwards  preached 
 to  a  number  of  white  people  present,  and  observed  many  of  them 
 in  tears ;  and  some  who  had  formerly  been  careless  and  uncon- 
 cerned about  religion,  perhaps,  as  the  Indians.  Towards  night, 
 discoursed  to  the  Indians  again,  and  perceived  a  greater  attention, 
 and  more  visible  concern  among  them,  than  has  been  usual  in 
 these  parts.  God  gave  me  the  spirit  of  prayer,  and  it  was  a  bles- 
 sed season  in  that  respect.  My  soul  cried  to  God  for  mercy,  in 
 an  affectionate  manner.  In  the  evening,  also,  my  soul  rejoiced 
 in  God. 
 
 Sept.  3.  "Preached  to  the  Indians  from  Isaiah  Hi.  3 — 6.  He 
 is  despised  and  rejected  of  men,  &:c.  The  Divine  presence  seem- 
 ed to  be  in  the  midst  of  the  assembly,  and  a  considerable  con- 
 cern spread  among  them.  Sundry  persons  seemed  to  be  awaken- 
 ed ;  among  whom  were  two  stupid  creatures,  whom  I  could  scarce 
 ever  before  keep  awake  while  I  was  discoursing  to  them.  I 
 could  not  but  rejoice  at  this  appearance  of  things;  although  at 
 the  same  time,  1  could  not  but  fear,  lest  the  concern  which  they 
 at  present  manifested,  might  prove  like  a  morning  cloud,  as  some- 
 thing of  that  nature  had  formerly  done  in  these  parts. 
 
 Sept.  4.  "  Rode  \o  miles  to  an  Irish  setdement,  and  preached 
 there  from   Luke  xiv.  22.     *  And  yet  there  is   roomJ*     God  was 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  231 
 
 pleased  to  afford  me  some  tenderness  and  enJargement  in  the 
 first  prayer,  and  much  freedom  as  well  as  warmth  in  the  sermon. 
 There  were  many  tears  in  the  assembly ;  the  people  of  God 
 seemed  to  melt;  and  others  to  be  in  some  measure  awakened. 
 Blessed  be  the  Lord,  who  lets  me  see  his  work  going  on  in  one 
 place  and  another ! 
 
 Sept,  5.  "  Discoursed  to  the  Indians  from  the  parable  of  the 
 sower.  Afterwards  I  conversed  particularly  with  sundry  per- 
 sons ;  which  occasioned  them  to  weep,  and  even  to  cry  out  in  an 
 affecting  manner,  and  seized  others  with  surprise  and  concern. 
 I  doubt  not  but  that  a  divine  power  accompanied  what  w^as  then 
 spoken.  Several  of  these  persons  had  been  with  me  to  Cross- 
 weeksung  :  and  there  had  seen  and  some  of  them  I  trust, /e/^,  the 
 power  of  God's  word,  in  an  affecting  and  saving  manner.  I  ask- 
 ed one  of  them,  who  had  obtained  comfort,  and  given  hopeful 
 evidences  of  being  truly  religious,  '  Why  he  now  cried?'  He  re- 
 plied, '  When  he  thought  how  Christ  was  slain  like  a  lamb,  and 
 spilt  his  blood  for  sinners,  he  could  not  help  crying,  when  he  was 
 alone  ;'  and  thereupon  burst  into  tears,  and  cried  again.  I  then 
 asked  his  wife  who  had  likewise  been  abundantly  comforted,  why 
 she  cried  ?  She  answered,  'that  she  was  grieved  that  the  Indians 
 here  would  not  come  to  Christ,  as  well  as  those  at  Crossweek- 
 sung.'  I  asked  her  if  she  found  a  heart  to  pray  for  them  ;  and 
 whether  Christ  had  seemed  7o  he  near  her  of  late  in  prayer,  as  in 
 times  past ;  which  is  my  usual  method  of  expressing  a  sense  of 
 the  divine  presence.  She  replied  '  yes,  he  had  been  near  to  her, 
 and  at  times  when  she  had  been  praying  alone,  her  heart  loved 
 to  pray  so,  that  she  could  not  bear  to  leave  the  placS,  but  wanted 
 to  stay  and  pray  longer.' 
 
 Sept,  6.  "  Enjoyed  some  freedom  and  intenseness  of  mind, 
 in  prayer  alone ;  and  longed  to  have  my  soul  more  warmed  with 
 divine  and  heavenly  things.  Was  somewhat  melancholy  towards 
 night,  and  longed  to  die  and  quit  a  scene  of  sin  and  darkness, 
 but  was  a  little  supported  in  prayer. 
 
 Sept.  7.  "Preached  to  the  Indians  from  John  vi.  35 — 39. 
 There  was  not  so  much  the  appearance  of  concern  among  them 
 as  at  several  other  times  of  late ;  yet  they  appeared  serious  and 
 attentive. 
 
 Lorcf^s  day,  Sept.  8.  "  Discoursed  to  the  Indians  in  the  after- 
 noon from  Acts  ii.  36 — 39.  The  word  of  God  at  this  time  seem- 
 ed to  fall  with  weight  and  influence  upon  them.  There  were  but 
 few  present;  but  most  that  were,  were  in  tears;  and  several 
 cried  out  in  distressing  concern  for.  their  souls.  There  was  one 
 man  considerably  awakened,  who  never  before  discovered 
 any  concern  for  his  soul.     These  appeared  a  remarkable  work 
 
232  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINEIID. 
 
 of  the  Divine  Spirit  among  them  generally,  not  unlike  what  has 
 been  of  late  at  Crossweeksung.  It  seemed  as  if  the  divine  influ- 
 ence had  spread  thence  to  this  place  ;  although  something  of  it 
 appeared  here  before  in  the  awakening  of  my  interpreter,  his 
 wife,  and  some  few  others.  Several  of  the  careless  white  peo- 
 ple now  present,  were  awakened,  or  at  least  startled,  seeing  the 
 power  of  God  so  prevalent  among  the  Indians.  I  then  made  a 
 particular  address  to  them,  which  seemed  to  make  some  impres- 
 sion upon  them,  and  and  excite  some  affection  in  them. 
 
 "  There  are  sundry  Indians  in  these  parts,  who  have  always 
 refused  to  hear  me  preach,  and  have  been  enraged  against  those 
 who  have  attended  on  my  preaching.  But  of  late  they  are  more 
 bitter  than  ever ;  scoffing  at  Christianity,  and  sometimes  asking 
 my  hearers,  'How  often  they  have  cried,'  and 'Whether  they 
 have  not  now  cried  enough  to  do  their  turn,'  &;c.  So  that  they 
 have  already  trial  of  cruel  workings. 
 
 "In  the  evening,  God  was  pleased  to  assist  me  in  prayer,  and 
 give  me  freedom  at  the  throne  of  grace.  I  cried  to  God  for  the 
 enlargement  of  his  kingdom  in  the  world,  and  in  particular 
 among  my  dear  people;  was  also  enabled  to  pray  for  many  dear 
 ministers  of  my  acquaintance,  both  in  these  parts,  and  in  New- 
 England,  and  also  for  other  dear  friends  in  New-England.  My 
 soul  was  so  engaged  and  enlarged  in  the  sweet  exercise,  that  I 
 spent  an  hour  in  it,  and  knew  not  how  to  leave  the  mercy  seat. 
 O  how  I  delighted  to  pray  and  cry  to  God !  I  saw  that  God  was 
 both  able  and  willing  to  do  all  that  I  desired  for  myself,  and  his 
 church  in  general.  I  was  likewise  much  enlarged,  and  assisted 
 in  family  prayer.  Afterwards  when  I  was  just  going  to  bed,  God 
 helped  me  to  renew  my  petition,  with  ardour  and  freedom.  O 
 it  was  to  me  a  blessed  evening  of  prayer!  Bless  the  Lord,  O  my 
 soul. 
 
 Sept.  d,  ''Left  the  Indians  at  the  Forks  of  Delaware,  and 
 set  out  on  a  journey  towards  Susquehannah  river;  directing  my 
 course  towards  the  Indian  town  more  than  an  hundred  and  twen- 
 ty miles  westward  from  the  Forks.  Travelled  about  fifteen  miles, 
 and  there  lodged. 
 
 Shaumoking,  Sept,  1745. 
 
 Sept.  13.  "  After  having  lodged  out  three  nights,  arrived  at 
 the  Indian  town  I  aimed  at  on  the  Susquehannah,  called  Shaumo- 
 king;  one  of  the  places  and  the  largest  of  them  which  I  visited 
 in  May  last.  I  was  kindly  received,  and  entertained  by  the  In- 
 dians ;  but  had  little  satisfaction  by  reason  of  the  Heathenish 
 dance  and  revel  thev  then  held  in  the  house  where  i  was  obliged 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  233 
 
 to  lodge ;  which  I  could  not  suppress,  though  I  often  entreated 
 them  to  desist,  for  the  sake  of  one  of  their  own  friends  who  was 
 then  sick  in  the  house,  and  whose  disorder  was  much  aggravated 
 by  the  noise.  Alas  !  how  destitute  of  natural  affection  are  these 
 poor  uncultivated  Pagans  !  although  they  seem  somewhat  kind  in 
 their  own  way.  Of  a  truth  the  dark  corners  of  the  earth  are 
 full  of  the  habitations  of  cruelty.  This  town,  as  I  observed  in 
 my  Diary  of  May  last,  lies  partly  on  the  East  side  of  the  river, 
 partly  on  the  west,  and  partly  on  a  large  Island  in  it;  and  con- 
 tains upwards  of  fifty  houses,  and  nearly  three  hundred  persons, 
 though  I  never. saw  much  more  than  half  that  number  in  it. 
 They  are  of  three  different  tribes  of  Indians,  speaking  three  lan- 
 guages wholly  unintelligible  to  each  other.  About  one  half  of 
 its  inhabitants  are  Ddawares ;  the  others  called  Senakas  and 
 Tutelas.  The  Indians  of  this  place,  are  accounted  the  most 
 drunken,  mischievous,  and  ruffianlike  fellows,  of  any  in  these 
 parts;  and  satan  seems  to  have  his  seat  in  this  town  in  an  eminent 
 manner. 
 
 Sept,  14.  "  Visited  the  Delaware  King;  who  was  supposed 
 to  be  at  the  point  of  death  when  I  was  here  in  May  last,  but  was 
 now  recovered ;  discoursed  with  him  and  others,  respecting 
 Christianity  ;  spent  the  afternoon  with  them ;  and  had  more  en- 
 couragement than  I  expected.  The  King  appeared  kindly  dis- 
 posed, and  willing  to  be  instructed.  This  gave  me  some  en- 
 couragement, that  God  would  open  an  effectual  door  for  my 
 preaching  the  gospel  here,  and  set  up  his  kingdom  in  this  place. 
 This  was  a  support  and  refreshment  to  me  in  the  wilderness,  and 
 rendered  my  solitary  circumstances  comfortable  and  pleasant. 
 In  the  evening,  my  soul  was  enlarged,  and  sweetly  engaged  in 
 prayer;  especially  that  God  would  set  up  his  kingdom  in  this 
 place,  where  the  devil  now  reigns  in  the  most  eminent  manner. 
 1  was  enabled  to  ask  this  for  God,  for  his  glory,  and  because  i 
 longed  for  the  enlargement  of  his  kingdom  to  the  honour  of  his 
 dear  name.  I  could  appeal  to  God  with  the  greatest  freedom, 
 that  it  was  his  dear  cause,  and  not  my  own,  which  engaged  my 
 heart.  My  soul  cried,  'Lord  set  up  thy  kingdom  for  thine  own 
 glory;'  glorify  thyself,  and  I  shall  rejoice.  Get  honour  to  thy 
 blessed  name,  and  this  is  all  I  desire.  Do  with  me  just  what  thou 
 wilt:  Blessed  be  thy  name  forever  that  thou  art  God,  and  that 
 thou  wilt  glorify  thyself.  O  that  the  whole  world  would  glorify 
 thee  !  O  let  these  poor  people  be  brought  to  know  thee,  and 
 love  thee,  for  the  glory  of  thy  ever  dear  blessed  name.'  I  could 
 not  but  hope  that  God  would  bring  in  these  miserable,  wicked 
 Indians;  though  there  appeared  little  human  probability  of  it; 
 for  they  were  then  dancing  and  revelling,  as  if  possQssed  bv  the 
 
 30 
 
234  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 devil.  But  yet  I  hoped,  though  against  hope,  that  God  would  be 
 glorified,  and  that  his  name  would  be  glorified  by  these  poor  In- 
 dians. I  continued  long  in  prayer  and  praise  to  God,  and  had 
 great  freedom,  enlargement,  and  sweetness  ;  remembering  dear 
 friends  in  New  England  as  well  as  the  people  of  my  charge.  Was 
 entirely  free  from  that  dejection  of  spirit,  with  which  1  am  fre- 
 quently exercised.     Blessed  be  God  ! 
 
 Lord^s  day,  Sept,  15.  "Visited  the  chief  of  the  Delawares 
 again,  \vas  kindly  received  by  him,  and  discoursed  to  the  Indians 
 in  the  afternoon.  Still  entertained  hopes  that  God  would  open 
 their  hearts  to  receive  the  gospel;  though  many  of  them  in  the 
 place  were  so  drunk  from  day  to  day  that  I  could  get  no  opportu- 
 nity to  speak  to  them.  Towards  night,  discoursed  with  one  who 
 understood  the  languages  of  the  Six  Nations,  as  they  are  usually 
 called  ;  who  discovered  an  inclination  to  hearken  to  Christianity, 
 which  gave  me  some  hopes  that  the  gospel  might  hereafter  be  sent 
 to  those  nations  far  remote. 
 
 Sept.  16.  "  Spent  the  forenoon  with  the  Indians,  endeavouring 
 to  instruct  them  from  house  to  house,  and  to  engage  them,  as  far 
 as  I  could,  to  be  friendly  to  Christianity.  Towards  night,  went 
 to  one  part  of  the  town,  where  they  were  sober,  got  together  near 
 fifty^3f  them,  and  discoursed  to  them ;  having  first  obtained  the 
 king's  cheerful  consent.  There  was  a  surprising  attention  among 
 them,  and  they  manifested  a  considerable  desire  of  being  further 
 instructed.  There  were  also  one  or  two  who  seemed  to  be  touch- 
 ed with  some  concern  for  their  souls,  who  appeared  well  pleased 
 with  some  conversation  in  private  after  I  had  concluded  my  public 
 discourse  to  them. 
 
 *'My  spirits  were  much  refreshed  with  this  appearance  of  things, 
 and  I  could  not  but  return  with  my  Interpreter,  having  no  other 
 companion  in  this  journey,  to  my  poor  hard  lodgings,  rejoicing  in 
 hopes  that  God  designed  to  set  up  his  kingdom  here,  where  Satan 
 now  reigns  in  the  most  eminent  manner;  and  found  uncommon 
 freedom  in  addressing  the  throne  of  grace  for  the  accomplishment 
 of  so  great  and  glorious  a  work. 
 
 Sept.  17.  "Spent  the  forenoon  in  visiting  and  discoursing  to 
 the  Indians.  About  noon'  left  Shaumoking  (most  of  the  Indians 
 going  out  this  day  on  their  hunting  design)  and  travelled  down  the 
 river  south-westward. 
 
 Sept.  19.  "Visited  an  Indian  town,  called  Jwncaw/a,  situate 
 on  an  island  in  the  Susquehannah.  Was  much  discouraged  with 
 the  temper  and  behaviour  of  the  Indians  here;  although  they  ap- 
 peared friendly  when  I  was  with  them  the  last  spring,  and  then 
 gave  me  encouragement  to  come  and  see  them  again.     But  they 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  '  235 
 
 now  seemed  resolved  to  retain  their  pagan  notions,  and  persist  in 
 their  idolatrous  practices. 
 
 Sept.  20.  "Visited  the  Indians  again  at  Juncauta  island,  and 
 found  them  almost  universally  very  busy  in  making  preparations 
 for  a  great  sacrafice  and  dance.  Had  no  opportunity  to  get  them 
 together,  in  order  to  discourse  with  them  about  Christianity,  by 
 reason  of  their  being  so  much  engaged  about  their  sacrafice.  My 
 spirits  were  much  sunk  with  a  prospect  so  very  discouraging;  and 
 especially  seeing  I  had  now  no  interpreter  but  a  pagan,  who  was 
 as  much  attached  to  idolatry  as  any  of  them;  my  own  interpreter 
 having  left  me  the  day  before,  being  obliged  to  attend  upon  some 
 important  business  elsewhere,  and  knowing  that  he  could  neither 
 speak  nor  understand  the  language  of  these  Indians ;  so  that  I 
 was  under  the  greatest  disadvantages  imaginable.  However,  I  at- 
 tempted to  discourse  privately  with  some  of  them,  but  without 
 any  appearance  of  success  :  notwithstanding  I  still  tarried  with 
 them. 
 
 "In  the  evening  they  met  together,  nearly  a  hundred  of  them, 
 and  danced  around  a  large  fire,  having  prepared  ten  fat  deer  for 
 the  sacrafice.  The  fat  of  the  inwards  they  burnt  in  the  fire  while 
 they  were  dancing,  and  sometimes  raised  the  flame  to  a  prodigious 
 height ;  at  the  same  time  yelling  and  shouting  in  such  a  manner, 
 that  they  might  easily  have  been  heard  two  miles  or  more.  They 
 continued  their  sacred  dance  nearly  all  night,  after  which  they 
 ate  the  flesh  of  the  sacrafice,  and  so  retired  each  one  to  his  own 
 lodging. 
 
 "I  enjoyed  little  satisfaction  ;  being  entirely  alone  on  the  island 
 as  to  any  Christian  company,  and  in  the  midst  of  this  idolatrous 
 revel;  and  having  walked  to  and  fro  till  body  and  mind  were  pain- 
 ed and  much  oppressed,  I  at  length  crept  into  a  little  crib  made  for 
 corn  and  there  slept  on  the  poles 
 
 Lord's  day,  Sept.  21.  "Spent  the  day  with  the  Indians  on  the 
 island.  As  soon  as  they  were  well  up  in  the  morning,  I  attempted 
 to  instruct  them,  and  laboured  for  that  purpose  to  get  them  togeth- 
 er; but  soon  found  they  had  something  else  to  do,  for  near  noon 
 they  gathered  together  all  their  powows,  or  conjurers,  and  set 
 about  half  a  dozen  of  them  playing  their  juggling  tricks,  and  act- 
 ing their  frantic  distracted  postures,  in  order  to  find  out  why  they 
 were  then  so  sickly  upon  the  island,  numbers  of  them  being  at  that 
 time  disordered  with  a  fever  and  bloody  flux.  In  this  exercise 
 they  were  engaged  for  several  hours,  making  all  the  wild,  ridicu- 
 lous and  distracted  motions  imaginable;  sometimes  singing;  some- 
 times howling ;  sometimes  extending  their  hands  to  the  utmost 
 stretch,  and  spreading  all  their  fingers,- — they  seemed  to  push  with 
 
•3G  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 ihem  as  if  they  designea  lo  push  something  away,  or  at  least  keep 
 it  off  at  arm's-end;  sometimes  stroking  their  faces  with  their 
 hands,  then  spurting  water  as  fine  as  mist;  sometimes  sitting  flat 
 on  the  earth,  then  bowing  down  their  faces  to  the  ground  ;  then 
 wringing  their  sides  as  if  in  pain  and  anguish,  twisting  their  faces, 
 turning  up  their  eyes,  grunting,  puffing,  &;c. 
 
 "  Their  monstrous  actions  tended  to  excite  ideas  of  horror,  and 
 seemed  to  have  something  in  them,  as  I  thought,  pecuharly  suited 
 to  raise  the  devil,  if  he  could  be  raised  by  any  thing  odd,  ridicu- 
 lous, and  frightful.  Some  of  them,  I  could  observe,  were  much 
 more  fervent  and  devout  in  the  business  than  others,  and  seemed 
 to  chant,  peep,  and  mutter  with  a  great  degree  of  warmth  and 
 vigour,  as  if  determined  to  awaken  and  engage  the  powers  below. 
 F  sat  at  a  small  distance,  not  more  than  thirty  feet  from  them, 
 though  undiscovered,  with  my  bible  in  my  hand,  resolving,  if  pos- 
 sible, to  spoil  their  sport,  and  prevent  their  receiving  any  ans- 
 wers from  the  infernal  world,  and  there  viewed  the  whole  scene. 
 They  continued  their  hideous  charms  and  incantations  for  more 
 than  three  hours,  until  they  had  all  wearied  themselves  out;  al- 
 though they  had  in  that  space  of  time  taken  several  intervals  of 
 rest,  and  at  length  broke  up,  I  apprehended,  without  receiving  any 
 answer  at  all. 
 
 *'  After  they  had  done  powawing,  I  attempted  to  discourse  with 
 them  about  Christianity  ;  but  they  soon  scattered,  and  gave  me 
 no  opportunity  for  any  thing  of  that  nature.  A  view  of  these 
 things,  while  I  was  entirely  alone  in  the  wilderness,  destitute  of 
 the  society  of  any  one  who  so  much  as  "  named  the  name  of 
 Christ,"  greatly  sunk  my  spirits,  and  gave  me  the  most  gloomy 
 turn  of  mind  imaginable,  almost  stripped  me  of  all  resolution  and 
 hope  respecting  further  attempts  for  propagating  the  gospel,  and 
 converting  the  Pagans,  and  rendered  this  the  most  burdensome 
 and  disagreeable  Sabbath  which  I  ever  saw.  But  nothing,  I  can 
 truly  say,  sunk  and  distressed  me  like  the  loss  of  my  hope  respec- 
 ting their  conversion.  This  concern  appeared  so  ^reat,  and  seem- 
 ed to  be  so  much  my  own,  that  I  seemed  to  have  nothing  to  do 
 on  earth,  if  this  failed.  A  prospect  of  the  greatest  concern  in  the 
 saving  conversion  of  souls  under  gospel-light,  would  have  done 
 little  or  nothing  towards  compensating  for  the  loss  of  my  hope  in 
 this  respect  ;  and  my  spirits  now  were  so  damped  and  depressed, 
 that  I  had  no  heart  nor  power  to  make  any  further  attempts 
 among  them  for  that  purpose,  and  could  not  possibly  recover  my 
 hope,  resolution,  and  courage,  by  the  utmost  of  my  endeavours. 
 
 *'  The  Indians  of  this  island  can  many  of  them  understand  the 
 English   language  considerably  well  ;  having   formerly  lived  in 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  237 
 
 some  part  of  Maryland,  among  or  near  the  white  people  ;  but  are 
 very  Orunke  ;,  vicious,  and  profane,  although  not  so  savage  as 
 those  v\ho  have  less  acquaintance  with  the  English.  Their  cus- 
 toms, in  various  respects,  differ  from  those  of  the  other  Indians 
 upon  the  river.  They  do  not  bury  their  dead  in  a  common  form, 
 but  let  their  flesh  consume  above  ground,  in  close  cribs  made  for 
 that  purpose.  At  the  end  of  a  year,  or  sometimes  a  longer  space 
 of  time,  they  take  the  bones,  when  the  flesh  is  all  consumed,  and 
 wash  and  scrape  them,  and  afterwards  bury  them  with  some  cer- 
 emony. Their  method  of  charming  or  conjuring  over  the  sick, 
 seems  somewhat  different  from  that  of  other  Indians,  though  in 
 substance  the  same.  The  whole  of  it  among  these  and  others, 
 perhaps,  is  an  intimation  of  what  seems,  by  Naaman's  expression, 
 2  Kings,  5th,  11th,  to  have  been  the  custom  of  the  ancient  hea- 
 then. It  seems  chiefly  to  consist  in  their  "  strking  their  hands 
 over  the  diseased,'''^  repeatedly  stroking  them,  "  and  calling  upon 
 their  gods  ;"  except  the  spurting  of  water  like  a  mist,  and  some 
 other  frantic  ceremonies  common  to  the  other  conjurations  which 
 1  have  already  mentioned. 
 
 "  When  I  was  in  this  region  in  May  last,  I  had  an  opportunity 
 of  learning  many  of  the  notions  and  customs  of  the  Indians,  as 
 well  as  observing  many  of  their  practices,  I  then  travelled  more 
 than  an  hundred  and  thirty  miles  upon  the  river,  above  the  Eng- 
 lish settlements  ;  and,  in  that  journey,  met  with  individuals  of 
 seven  or  eight  distinct  tribes,  speaking  as  many  different  langua- 
 ges. But  of  all  the  sights  I  ever  saw  among  them,  or  indeed  any 
 where  else,  none  appeared  so  frightful,  or  so  near  a  kin  to  what  is 
 usually  imagined  o{  infernal  powers^  none  ever  excited  such  ima- 
 ges of  terror  in  my  mind,  as  the  appearance  of  one  who  was  a  de- 
 vout and  zealous  Reformer,  or  rather,  restorer  of  what  he  sup- 
 posed was  the  ancienl  religiorTonHe'Tn^taTis.  He  made  his  ap- 
 pearance in  his  pontifical  garb ^  which  was  a  coat  of  boar  skins, 
 dressed  with  the  hair  on,  and  hanging  down  to  his  toes  ;  a  pair 
 of  bear  skin  stockings  ;  and  a  great  wooden  face  painted,  the  one 
 half  black,  the  other  half  tawny,  about  the  colour  of  an  Indian's 
 skin,  with  an  extravagant  mouth,  cut  very  much  awry  ;  the  face 
 fastened  to  a  bear  skin  cap,  which  was  drawn  over  his  head.  He 
 advanced  towards  me  with  the  instrument  in  his  hand,  which  he 
 used  for  music  in  his  idolatrous  worship  ;  which  was  a  dry  tortoise 
 shell  with  some  corn  in  it,  and  the  neck  of  it  drawn  on  to  a  piece 
 of  wood,  which  made  a  very  convenient  handle.  As  he  came  for- 
 ward, he  beat  his  tune  with  the  rattle,  and  danced  with  all  his 
 might,  but  did  not  suffer  any  part  of  his  body,  not  so  much  as  his 
 fingers,  to  be  seen.  No  one  would  have  imagined  from  his  ap- 
 pearance or  actions,  that  he  could  have  been  a  human  creature,  if 
 
238  MEMOIRS  OF  BKAINERD. 
 
 they  had  not  had  some  intimation  of  it  otherwise.  When  he 
 came  near  me,  1  could  not  but  shrink  away  from  him.  although  it 
 was  then  noon  day,  and  I  knew  who  it  was  ;  his  appearance  and 
 gestures  were  so  prodigiously  frightful.  He  had  a  house  conse- 
 crated to  religious  uses,  with  divers  images  cut  upon  the  several 
 parts  of  it.  I  went  in,  and  found  the  ground  beat  almost  as  hard 
 as  a  rock,  with  their  frequent  dancing  upon  it.  I  discoursed  with 
 him  about  Christianity.  Some  of  my  discourse  he  seemed  to  like, 
 but  some  of  it  he  disliked  extremely.  He  told  me  that  God  had 
 taught  him  his  religion,  and  that  he  never  would  turn  from  it ; 
 ^  but  wanted  to  find  some  who  would  join  heartily  with  him  in  it ; 
 for  the  Indians,  he  said,  were  grown  very  degenerate  and  corrupt. 
 He  had  thoughts,  he  said,  of  leaving  all  his  friends,  and  travelling 
 abroad,  in  order  to  find  some  who  would  join  with  him;  for  he 
 believed  that  God  had  some  good  people  some  where,  who  felt  as 
 he  did.  He  had  not  always,  he  said,  felt  as  he  now  did  ;  but  had 
 formerly  been  like  the  rest  of  the  Indians,  until  about  four  or  five 
 years  before  that  time.  Then,  he  said,  his  heart  was  very  much 
 distressed,  so  that  he  could  not  live  among  the  Indians,  but  got 
 away  into  the  woods,  and  lived  alone  for  some  months.  At 
 length,  he  says,  God  comforted  his  heart,  and  showed  him  what 
 he  should  do  ;  and  since  that  time  he  had  known  God,  and  tried 
 to  serve  him  ;  and  loved  all  men,  be  they  who  they  would,  so  as 
 he  never  did  before.  He  treated  me  wiih  uncommon  courtesy, 
 and  seemed  to  be  hearty  in  it.  I  was  told  by  the  Indians,  that  he 
 opposed  their  drinking  strong  liquor  with  all  his  power  ;  and  that, 
 if  at  any  time  he  could  not  dissuade  them  from  it  by  all  he  could 
 say,  he  would  leave  them,  and  go  crying  into  the  woods.  It  was 
 manifest  that  he  had  a  set  of  religious  notions  which  he  had  exam- 
 "*  ined/or  himself^  and  not  taken /or  granted^  upon  bare  tradition  ; 
 and  he  relished  or  disrelished  whatever  was  spoken  of  a  religious 
 nature,  as  it  either  agreed  or  disagreed  with  his  standard.  While 
 I  was  discoursing,  he  would  sometimes  say,  "Now  that  1  like  ;  so 
 God  has  taught  me  ;"  &c.  and  some  of  his  sentiments  seemed 
 very  just.  Yet  he  utterly  denied  the  existence  of  a  </erz7,  and 
 declared  there  was  no  such  creature  known  among  the  Indians  of 
 old  times,  whose  religion  he  supposed  he  was  attempting  to  revive. 
 He  likewise  told  me,  that  departed  souls  all  went  soutliToard,  and 
 that  the  difference  between  the  good  and  the  bad,  was  this  :  that 
 the  forme?-  were  admitted  into  a  beautiful  town  with  spiritual 
 walls  ;  and  that  the  latter  would  for  ever  hover  around  these 
 walls,  in  vain  attempts  to  get  in.  He  seemed  to  be  sincere,  hon- 
 est, and  conscientious  in  his  own  way,  and  according  to  his  own 
 religious  notions  ;  which  was  more  than  I  ever  saw  in  any  other 
 Pagan.     I  perceived  that  he  was  looked  upon  and  derided  among 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  239 
 
 most  of  the  Indians,  as  a  precise  zealot,  who  made  a  needless  noise 
 about  rehgious  matters  ;  but  I  must  say  that  there  was  something 
 in  his  temper  and  disposition,  which  looked  more  like  true  reli- 
 gion, than  any  thing  1  ever  observed  amongst  other  heathens. 
 
 "  But  alas  !  how  deplorable  is  the  state  of  the  Indians  upon  this 
 river  !  The  brief  representation  which  I  have  here  given  of  their 
 notions  and  manners,  is  suthcient  to  shew  that  they  are  ''led  cap- 
 tive by  Satan  at  his  will,"  in  the  most  eminent  manner;  and  me- 
 thinks  might  likewise  be  sufficient  to  excite  the  compassion,  and 
 engage  the  prayers,  of  pious  souls  for  these  their  fellow-men,  who 
 sit  "  in  the  regions  of  the  shadow  of  death." 
 
 Sept.  22.  "  Made  some  further  attempts  to  instruct  and  Chris- 
 tianize the  Indians  on  this  Island,  but  all  to  no  purpose.  They 
 live  so  near  the  white  people  that  they  are  always  in  the  way  of 
 strong  liquor,  as  well  as  of  the  ill  examples  of  nor/^^?^«/ Christians  ; 
 which  renders  it  so  unspeakably  difficult  to  treat  with  them  about 
 Christianity." 
 
 Brainerd  left  these  Indians  on  the  23d  of  September,  to  re- 
 turn to  the  Forks  of  Delaware,  in  a  very  weak  state  of  body,  and 
 under  great  dejection  of  mind,  which  continued  the  two  first  days 
 of  his  journey. 
 
 Sept,  25,  "  Rode  still  homeward.  In  the  forenoon,  enjoyed 
 freedom  and  intenseness  of  mind  in  meditation  on  Job,  xlii.  5,  6, 
 "  I  have  heard  of  thee  by  the  hearing  of  the  ear,  but  now  mine 
 eye  seeth  thee  ;  wherefore  I  abhor  myself  and  repent  in  dust  and 
 ashes."  The  Lord  gave  me  clearness  to  penetrate  into  the  sweet 
 truths  contained  in  that  text.  It  was  a  comfortable  and  sweet 
 season  to  me. 
 
 Sept  26.  ''  Was  still  much  disordered  in  body,  and  able  to 
 ride  but  slowly.  Continued  my  journey,  however.  Near  night, 
 arrived  at  the  Irish  settlement,  about  fifteen  miles  from  mine  own 
 house.  This  day,  while  riding,  1  was  much  exercised  with  a  sense 
 of  my  barrenness  ;  and  verily  thought  there  was  no  creature  who 
 had  any  true  grace,  but  what  was  more  spiritual  and  faithful.  I 
 could  not  think  that  any  of  God's  children  made  so  poor  a  hand 
 of  living  to  God. 
 
 Sept.  27.  "  Spent  a  considerable  time  in  the  morning  in  prayer 
 and  praise  to  God.  My  mind  was  somewhat  intense  in  the  duty  ; 
 and  my  heart,  in  some  degree,  warmed  with  a  sense  of  divine 
 things.  My  soul  was  melted  to  think  that  ''  God  had  accounted 
 me  faithful,  putting  me  into  the  ministry."  My  soul  was  also,  in 
 some  measure,    enlarged  in  prayer   for  the  dear  people  of  my 
 
240  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 charge,  as  well  as  for  other  dear  friends.  Afternoon  visited  some 
 christian  friends,  and  spent  the  time  I  think  profitably;  my  heart 
 was  warmed  and  more  engaged  in  the  things  of  God.  In  the  eve- 
 ning I  enjoyed  enlargement,  warmth  and  comfort  in  prayer:  my 
 soul  relied  on  God  for  assistance  and  grace  to  enable  me  to  do 
 something  in  his  cause  :  my  heart  was  drawn  out  in  thankfulness 
 to  God  for  what  he  had  done  for  his  own  glory  among  my  poor 
 people  of  late.  I  felt  encouraged  to  proceed  in  his  work  ;  being 
 persuaded  of  his  power,  and  hoping  that  his  arm  might  be  further 
 revealed  for  the  enlargement  of  his  dear  kingdom.  My  soul  ''  re- 
 joiced in  hope  of  the  glory  of  God,"  in  hope  of  the  advancement 
 of  his  declarative  glory  in  the  world,  as  well  as  of  enjo}ing  him 
 in  a  world  of  glory.     0,  blessed  be  God^  the  living  God,  for  erer." 
 
 He  continued  in  this  comfortable  sweet  frame  of  mind  the  two 
 Itext  days.  On  (he  following  day,  he  went  to  his  own  house  in 
 the  Forks  of  Delaware,  and  continued  still  in  the  same  frame. 
 The  next  day,  Tuesday,  he  visited  his  Indians. 
 
 "  Forks  of  Delaware.  Oct,  1 745.. 
 
 Oct,  1.  "  Discoursed  to  the  Indians  here,  and  spent  some  time 
 in  private  conference  with  them  about  their  souls'  concerns,  and 
 afterwards  invited  them  to  accompany,  or  if  not,  to  follow  me  to 
 Crossweeksung  as  soon  as  they  could  conveniently;  which  invi- 
 tation numbers  of  them  cheerfully  accepted. 
 
 Wednesday  he  spent  principally  in  writing  the  meditations  he 
 had  in  his  late  journey  to  the  Susquehannah.  On  Thursday  he 
 left  the  Forks  of  Delaware,  and  travelled  towards  Crossweek- 
 sung, where  he  arrived  on  Saturday,  Oct.  5 ;  and  continued  from 
 day  to  day  in  a  comfortable  state  of  mind. 
 
 ^^  Crosszveeksiing,   Oct.   1745. 
 
 Oct.  5,  "  Preached  to  my  people  from  John  xiv.  1 — 6.  The 
 divine  presence  seemed  to  be  in  the  assembly.  Numbers  were 
 affected  with  divine  truths,  and  it  was  a  comfort  to  some  in  par- 
 ticular. O  what  a  difference  is  there  between  these,  and  the  In- 
 dians with  whom  I  had  lately  treated  upon  the  Susquehannah  ! 
 To  be  with  those  seemed  to  be  like  being  banished  from  God  and 
 all  his  people  ;  to  be  with  these,  like  being  admitted  into  his 
 family,  and  to  the  enjoyment  of  his  divine  presence  !  How  great 
 is  the  change  lately  made  upon  numbers  of  those  Indians  ;  who, 
 not  many  months  ago,  were  as  thoughtless  and  averse  to  Chris 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  241 
 
 tianity,  as  those  upon  the  Susquehannah  ;  and  how  astonishing  is 
 that  Grace,  which  Ivas  made  this  change! 
 
 LorcPs  day.  Get,  6.  ''  Preached  in  the  forenoon  from  John 
 X.  7 — 11.  There  was  a  considerable  melting  amoni;  my  peo- 
 ple; the  dear  young  Christiaiis  were  refreshed,  comforted  and 
 strengthened;  and  one  or  two  persons  newly  awakened. — In  the 
 afternoon  I  discoursed  on  the  story  of  the  Jailor,  Acts  xvi,  and  in 
 the  evening,  expounded  Acts  xx,  1 — 12.  There  was  at  this  time 
 a  very  agreeable  melting  spread  throughout  the  whole  assembly. 
 I  think  I  scarce  ever  saw  a  more  desirable  affection  in  any  num- 
 ber of  people  in  my  life.  There  was  scarcely  a  dry  eye  to  be 
 seen  among  them  ;  and  yet  nothing  boisterous  or  unseemly,  noth- 
 ing that  tended  to  disturb  the  public  worship  ;  but  rather  to  en- 
 courage and  excite  a  christian  ardour  and  spirit  of  devotion. — 
 Those,  who  I  have  reason  to  hope  were  seriously  renewed,  were 
 first  affected,  and  seemed  to  rejoice  much,  but  with  brokennessof 
 spirit  and  godly  fear.  Their  exercises  were  much  the  same  with 
 those  mentioned  in  my  journal  of  Aug.  26,  evidently  appearing  to 
 be  the  genuine  effects  of  a  spirit  of  adoption. 
 
 ''  After  public  service  was  over,  I  withdrew,  being  much  tired 
 with  the  labours  of  the  day  ;  and  the  Indians  continued  praying 
 among  themselves  for  nearly  two  hours  together;  which  contin- 
 ued exercises  appeared  to  be  attended  w^ith  a  blessed  quickening 
 influence  from  on  high.  I  could  not  but  earnestly  wish  that  num- 
 bers of  God's  people  had  been  present  at  this  season  to  see  and 
 hear  these  things  which  I  am  sure  must  refresh  the  heart  of  every 
 true  lover  of  Zion's  interest.  To  see  those,  who  were  very  late- 
 ly savage  Pagans  and  idolaters,  having  no  hope,  and  without  God 
 in  the  world,  now  filled  with  a  sense  of  divine  love  and  grace, 
 and  worshipping  the  Father  in  spirit  and  in  truth,  as  numbers 
 have  appeared  to  do,  was  not  a  little  affecting ;  and  especially  to 
 see  them  appear  so  tender  and  humble,  as  well  as  lively,  fervent, 
 and  devout  in  the  divine  service. 
 
 Oct,  7.  "  Being  called  by  the  church  and  people  of  East- 
 Hampton,  on  Long-Island,  as  a  member  of  a  council  to  assist  and 
 advise  in  affairs  of  difficulty  in  that  church,  I  set  out  on  my  jour- 
 ney this  morning  before  it  was  well  light,  and  travelled  to  Eliza- 
 bethtown,  and  there  lodged.  Enjoyed  some  comfort  on  the  road 
 in  conversation  with  Mr.  William  Tennent,  who  was  sent  for  on 
 the  same  business." 
 
 Brainerd  prosecuted  his  journey  with  the  other  ministers  who 
 were  sent  for,  and  did  not  return  till  Oct.  24.  While  he  was  at 
 East-Hampton,  the  importance  of  the  business,  on  which  the 
 council  were  convened,  lay  with  such  weight  on  his  mind,  and 
 
 31 
 
242  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 be  was  so  concerned  for  the  interests  of  religion  in  that  place, 
 that  he  slept  but  little  for  several  nights  successively.  In  his 
 way  to  and  from  East-Hampton,  he  had  several  seasons  of  sweet 
 refieshmeiit ;  wherein  his  soul  was  enlarged  and  comforted  with 
 divine  consolations  in  secret  retirement;  and  he  had  special  as- 
 sistance in  public  ministerial  performances  in  the  house  of  God  ; 
 and  yet  at  the  same  time  a  sense  of  extreme  vileness  and  unprof- 
 fitableness.  From  time  to  time  he  speaks  of  soul  refreshments 
 and  comfort  in  conversation  with  the  ministers  who  travelled 
 with  him,  and  seems  to  have  little  or  nothing  of  melancholy  until 
 be  came  to  the  west  end  of  Long-Island  in  his  return.  After 
 that  he  was  oppressed  with  dejection  and  gloominess  of  mind  for 
 several  days  together. 
 
 "  Crossweeksung,  Oct.  1745. 
 
 Oct,  24.  "  Discoursed  from  John  iv.  13,  14.  There  was  a 
 great  attention,  a  desirable  affection,  and  an  unaffected  melting  in 
 the  assembly.  It  is  surprising  to  see  how  eager  they  are  to  hear 
 the  word  of  God.  I  have  oftentimes  thought  that  they  would 
 cheerfully  and  diligently  attend  divine  worship  twenty-four  hours 
 together,  if  they  had  an  opportunity  so  to  do. 
 
 Oct.  25.  "  Discoursed  to  my  people  respecting  the  Resurrec- 
 tion, from  Luke  xx.  27 — 36.  When  I  came  to  mention  the  bless- 
 edness which  the  godly  shall  enjoy  at  that  season  ;  their  final  free- 
 dom from  death,  sm  and  sorrow ;  their  equality  to  the  angels  in 
 their  nearness  to  and  enjoyment  of  Christ,  some  imperfect  degree 
 of  which  they  are  favored  with  in  the  present  life,  from  whence 
 springs  their  sweetest  comfort ;  and  their  being  the  children  of 
 God,  openly  acknowledged  by  him  as  such  : — I  say,  when  1  men- 
 tioned these  things,  numbers  of  them  were  much  affected  and 
 melted  with  a  view  of  this  blessed  state. 
 
 Oct.  26.  "  Being  called  to  assist  in  the  administration  of  the 
 Lord's  supper  in  a  neigbouring  congregation,  J  invited  my  people 
 to  go  with  me.  They  in  general  embraced  the  opportunity  cheer- 
 fully ;  and  attended  the  several  discourses  of  this  solemnity  with 
 diligence  and  affection,  most  of  them  now  understanding  some- 
 thing of  the  English  language. 
 
 LorcVs  day,  Oct.  27.  "  While  I  was  preaching  to  a  vast  assem- 
 bly of  people  abroad,  who  appeared  generally  easy  and  secure 
 enough,  there  was  one  Indian  woman,  a  stranger,  who  never  heard 
 me  preach  before,  nor  ever  regarded  any  thing  about  religion, 
 being  now  persuaded  by  some  of  her  friends  to  come  to  meeting, 
 though  much  against  her  will,  was  seized  with  distressing  concern 
 for  her  soul ;  and  soon  after  expressed  a  great  desire  of  going 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  243 
 
 borne,  more  than  forty  miles  distant,  to  call  her  husband,  that  he 
 also  might  be  awakened  to  a  concern  for  his  soul.  Some  others 
 of  the  Indians  appeared  to  be  affected  with  divine  truths  this  day. 
 The  pious  people  of  the  English,  numbers  of  whom  1  had  oppor- 
 tunity to  converse  with,  seemed  refreshed  with  seeing  the  Indians 
 worship  God  in  that  devout  and  solemn  manner  with  the  assem- 
 bly of  his  people  ;  and  with  those  mentioned  in  Acts  xi.  18,  they 
 could  not  but  glorify  God,  saying,  "  Then  hath  God  also  to  the 
 Gentiles  granted  repentance  unto  life." 
 
 '*•  Preached  again  in  the  afternoon,  to  a  great  assembly  ;  at 
 which  time  some  of  my  people  appeared  affected  ;  and,  when 
 public  worship  was  over,  were  inquisitive  whether  there  would 
 not  be  another  sermon  in  the  evening,  or  before  the  sacramental 
 solemnity  was  concluded;  being  still  desirous  to  hear  God's 
 word. 
 
 Cct.  28.  "  Discoursed  from  Matt.  xxii.  1 — 13.  I  was  enabled 
 to  open  the  scriptures,  and  adapt  my  discourse  and  expression  to 
 the  capacities  of  my  people,  I knozo  not  how,  in  a  plain,  easy,  and 
 familiar  manner  beyond  all  that  I  could  have  done  by  the  utmost 
 study:  and  this  without  any  special  difficulty  ;  yea  with  as  much 
 freedom  as  if  I  had  been  addressing  a  common  audience,  who  had 
 been  instructed  in  the  doctrines  of  Christianity  all  their  days. — 
 The  word  of  God  at  this  time  seemed  to  fall  upon  the  assembly 
 with  a  divine  power  and  influence,  especially  towards  the  close 
 of  my  discourse  :  there  was  both  a  sweet  melting  and  bitter 
 mourning  in  the  audience.  The  dear  christians  were  refreshed 
 and  comforted,  convictions  revived  in  others,  and  several  persons 
 newly  awakened  who  had  never  been  with  us  before.  So  much  of 
 the  divine  presence  appeared  in  the  assembly,  that  it  seemed 
 '  this  was  no  other  than  the  house  of  God  and  the  gate  of  heaven.'' 
 All,  who  had  any  savour  and  relish  of  divine  things,  were  even 
 constrained  by  the  sweetness  of  that  season  to  say,  "Lord,  it  is 
 good  for  us  to  be  here  :  If  ever  there  was  among  my  people  an 
 appearance  of  the  New  Jerusalem  "  as  a  bride  adorned  for  her 
 husband,"  there  was  much  of  it  at  this  time :  and  so  agreeable 
 was  the  entertainment,  where  such  tokens  of  the  divine  presence 
 were,  that  I  could  scarcely  be  \^  illing  in  the  evening  to  leave  the 
 place  and  repair  to  my  lodgings.  1  was  refreshed  with  a  view 
 of  the  continuance  of  this  blessed  work  of  grace  among  them, 
 and  with  its  influence  upon  strangers  among  the  Indians,  who  had 
 of  late  from  time  to  time  providentially  come  into  this  part  of 
 the  country.  Had  an  evening  of  sweet  refreshing  ;  qiy  thoughts 
 were  raised  to  a  blessed  eternity  ;  my  soul  was  melted  with  de- 
 sires of  perfect  holiness,  and  of  perfectly  glorifying  God. 
 
244  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 OcL  29.  •'  About  noon  rode  and  viewed  the  Indian  lands  at 
 Cranberry  :  was  much  dejected  and  greatly  perplexed  in  mind  : 
 knew  not  how  to  see  any  body  a^ain,  my  soul  was  sunk  with- 
 in me.  Oh  that  these  trials  might  make  me  more  humble  and 
 holy.  Oh  that  God  would  keep  me  from  giving  way  to  sinful  de- 
 jection, which  may  hinder  my  usefulness. 
 
 Oct.  /lO.  *'  My  soul  was  refreshed  with  a  view  of  the  continu- 
 ance of  God's  blessed  work  among  the  Indians. 
 
 Oct,  31.  "  Spent  most  of  the  day  in  writing;  enjoyed  not  much 
 spiritual  comfort ;  but  was  not  so  much  sunk  with  melancholy  as 
 at  other  times. 
 
 JVov.  1.  "Discoursed  from  Luke  xxiv.  briefly  explaining  the 
 whole  chapter,  and  insisting  especially  upon  some  particular  pas- 
 sages. The  discourse  was  attended  with  some  affectionate  con- 
 cern upon  some  of  the  hearers,  though  not  equal  to  what  has  of- 
 ten appeared  among  them. 
 
 J^oz\  2.  "  Spent  the  day  with  the  Indians ;  wrote  some  things 
 of  importance ;  and  longed  to  do  more  for  God  than  I  did,  or 
 could  do  in  this  present  feeble  and  imperfect  state. 
 
 Lord^s  day,  Kov,  3.  "  Preached  to  my  people  from  Lukexvi. 
 17.  "  And  it  is  easier  for  heaven  and  earth,"  he.  more  especial- 
 ly for  the  sake  of  several  lately  brought  under  deep  concern  for 
 their  souls.  There  was  some  apparent  concern  and  affection  in 
 the  assembly:  though  far  less  than  has  been  usual  of  late. 
 
 "  Afterwards  I  baptized  fourteen  persons  of  the  Indians :  six 
 adults  and  eight  children.  One  of  -these  was  nearly  fourscore. 
 years  of  age  ;  and  I  have  reason  to  hope  that  God  has  brought 
 her  savingly  home  to  himself.  Two  of  the  others  were  men  of 
 fifty  years  old,  who  had  been  singular  and  remarkable  among  the 
 Indians  for  their  wickedness  ;  one  of  them  had  been  a  murderer, 
 and  both  notorious  drunkards  a?  well  as  excessively  quarrelsome  ; 
 but  now  1  cannot  but  hope  that  both  of  them  have  become  sub- 
 jects of  God's  special  cprace,  especiaiiy  the  worst  of  them."*"  I 
 deferred  their  baptism  for  many  weeks  after  they  had  given  evi- 
 dence of  having  pas.-^ed  a  great  change,  that  I  might  have  more 
 opportunities  to  observe  the  fruits  of  the  impressions  which  they 
 had  been  unde.r.  and  apnreherided  the  way  was  now  clear.  There 
 was  not  one  of  the  aduits  wiiom  1  baistized,  who  had  not  given  mc 
 comfortable  grounds  to  hope  that  God  had  wrought  a  work  of 
 special  grace  in  their  hearts;  a'thou^ji  I  could  not  have  the 
 same  degree  of  satisfaction  respecting  one  or  two  of  them  as  the 
 rest. 
 
 ^Thormn  particularly  meutioneJ  in  my  journHl  of  August  10,  as  being  then 
 awakened. 
 
MExMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  24& 
 
 AoT).  4.  "Discoursed  from  John  xi,  briefly  explaining  most  of 
 the  chapter.  Divine  truths  made  deep  impressions  upon  many 
 in  the  assembly.  Numbers  were  affected  with  a  view  of  the  pow- 
 er of  Christ  manifested  in  his  raising  the  dead  ;  and  especially 
 when  this  instance  of  his  power  was  improved  to  show  his  ability 
 to  raise  dead  souls,  such  as  many  of  them  then  felt  themselves  to 
 be,  to  a  spiritual  life  ;  as  also  to  raise  the  dead  at  the  last  day,  and 
 dispense  to  them  true  rewards  and  punishments. 
 
 *'  There  numbers  of  those  who  had  come  here  lately  from  re- 
 mote places,  who  were  now  brought  under  deep  and  pressing  con- 
 cern for  their  souls.  One  in  particular,  who  not  long  since  came 
 half  drunk,  and  railed  on  us.  and  attempted  by  all  means  to  dis- 
 turb us  while  engaged  in  divine  worship,  was  now  so  concerned 
 and  distressed  for  her  soul,  that  she  seemed  unable  to  get  any 
 ease  without  an  interest  in  Christ.  There  were  many  tears  and 
 affectionate  sobs  and  groans  in  the  assembly  in  general;  some 
 weeping  for  themselves;  others  for  their  friends.  Although  per- 
 sons are  doubtless  much  more  easily  affected  now  than  they  were 
 in  the  beginning  of  this  religious  concern,  when  tears  and  cries  for 
 their  souls  were  thiiigs  unheard  of  among  them;  yet  I  must  say 
 that  their  affection  in  general  appeared  genuine  and  unfeigned; 
 and  especially  this  appeared  very  conspicuous  in  those  newly 
 awakened.  So  that  true  and  genuine  convictions  of  sin  seem  still 
 to  be  begun  and  promoted  in  many  instances. 
 
 "  Baptized  a  child  this  day,  and  perceived  numbers  of  the  bap- 
 tized persons  affected  with  the  administration  of  this  ordinance, 
 as  being  thereby  reminded  of  theirown  solemn  engagements. 
 
 "  1  have  now  baptized  in  aW  forti^-seven  of  the  Indians  ;  tiventy- 
 three  adults,  and  twenty-four  children  ;  thirty-five  of  them  belong- 
 ed to  this  region,  and  the  rest  to  the  Forks  of  Delaware. — 
 Through  rich  grace,  none  of  them  as  yet  have  been  left  to  dis- 
 grace their  profession  of  Christianity  by  any  scandalous  or  unbe- 
 coming behaviour. 
 
 "  I  might  now  properly  make  many  remarks  on  a  work  of  grace 
 so  very  remarkable  as  this  has  been  in  various  respects  ;  but  shall 
 confine  myself  to  a  few  general  hints  only. 
 
 "1.  It  is  remarkable  that  God  began  this  work  among  the  In 
 dians  at  a  time  when  I  had  the  least  hope,  and,  to  my  apprehen- 
 sion the  least  rational  prospect  of  seeing  a  v/ork  of  grace  propa- 
 gated among  them  :  my  bodily  strength  being  then  much  wasted 
 by  a  late  tedious  journey  to  the  Susquehannah,  where  I  was  ne- 
 cessarily exposed  to  hardships  and  fatigues  among  the  Indians  : 
 my  mind  being  also  exceedingly  depressed  with  a  view  of  the  un- 
 successfulness  of  my  labours.     I  had  little  reason  so  much  as  to 
 
246  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 hope  that  God  had  made  me  instrumental  in  the  saving  conversion 
 of  any  of  the  Indians,  except  my  interpreter  and  his  wife.  Hence 
 I  was  ready  to  look  upon  myself  as  a  burden  to  the  honourable 
 Society  which  employed  and  supported  me  in  this  business,  and 
 began  to  entertain  serious  thoughts  of  giving  up  my  mission;  and 
 almost  resolv^3"~rwould  do  so  at  the  conclusion  oFthTe  present 
 year,  if  I  had  then  no  better  prospect  of  special  success  in  my 
 work  than  I  had  hitherto  had.  1  cannot  say  that  I  entertained 
 these  thoughts  because  I  was  weary  of  the  labours  and  fatigues 
 which  necessarily  attended  my  present  business,  or  because  I  had 
 light  and  freedom  in  my  own  mind  to  turn  any  other  way  ;  but 
 purely  through  dejection  of  spirit,  pressing  discouragement,  and 
 an  apprehension  of  its  being  unjust  to  spend  money  consecrated 
 to  religious  uses,  only  to  civilize  the  Indians,  and  bring  them  to  an 
 external  profession  of  Christianity.  This  was  all  which  I  could 
 then  see  any  prospect  of  effecting,  while  God  seemed,  as  I 
 thought,  evidently  to  frown  upon  the  design  of  their  saving  con- 
 version, by  withholding  the  convincing  and  renewing  influences 
 of  his  blessed  Spirit  from  attending  the  means  which  1  had  hith- 
 erto used  with  them  for  that  end. 
 
 '•  In  this  frame  of  mind  1  first  visited  these  Indians  at  Cross- 
 weeksung;  apprehending  that  it  was  my  indispensable  duty,  see- 
 ing I  had  heard  there  was  a  number  in  these  parts,  to  make  some 
 attempts  for  their  conversion  to  God,  though  I  cannot  say,  I  had 
 any  hope  of  success,  my  spirits  being  now  so  extremely  sunk.  1 
 do  not  know  that  my  hopes  respecting  the  conversion  of  the  In- 
 dians were  ever  reduced  to  so  low  an  ebb,  since  I  had  any  special 
 concern  for  them,  at  this  time.  Yet  this  was  the  very  season  in 
 which  God  saw  fit  to  begin  this  glorious  work  !  Thus  he  ''or- 
 dained strength  out  of  weakness,"  by  making  bare  his  almighty 
 arm  at  a  time  when  all  hopes  and  human  prGbabilitics  most  evi- 
 dently appeared  to  fail. Whence  1  learn,  that  i/  is  good  tofol- 
 
 lo2v  the  path  of  duty ^  though  in  the  midst  of  darkness  and  discour- 
 agement. 
 
 2.  "It  is  remarkable  how  God  providenHally,  and  in  a  manner  al- 
 most unaccountable,  called  these^Indians  together  to  be  instructed 
 in  the  great  things  that  concerned  their  souls  ;  and  how  he  seized 
 their  minds  with  the  most  solemn  and  weighty  concern  for  their 
 eternal  salvation,  as  fast  as  they  came  to  the  place  where  his  word 
 was  preached.  When  I  first  came  into  these  parts  in  June,  1 
 found  not  one  man  at  the  place  I  visited,  but  only  four  women 
 and  a  few  children  ;  but  before  I  had  been  here  many  days  they 
 gathered  from  all  quarters,  some  from  more  than  twenty  miles 
 distant ;  and  when  I  made  them  a  second  visit  in  the  beginning  of 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  24-7 
 
 August,  some  came  more  than  forty  miles  to  hear  me.  Many 
 came  without  any  intelligence  of  what  was  going  on  here,  and 
 consequently  without  any  design  of  theirs,  so  much  as  to  gratify 
 their  curiosity.  Thus  it  seemed  as  if  God  had  summoned  them 
 together  from  all  quarters  for  nothing  else  but  to  deliver  his  mes- 
 sage to  them;  and  that  he  did  this,  with  regard  to  some  of  them, 
 without  making  use  of  any  human  means;  although  there  was 
 pains  taken  by  some  of  them  to  give  notice  to  others  at  remote 
 places. 
 
 "Nor  is  it  less  surprising  that  they  were  one  after  another  af- 
 fected with  a  solemn  concern  for  their  souls,  almost  as  soon  as 
 they  came  upon  the  spot  where  divine  truths  were  taught  them. 
 I  could  not  but  think  often,  that  their  coming  to  the  place  of  our 
 public  w^orship,  was  like  Saul  and  his  messengers  coming  among 
 the  prophets ;  they  no  sooner  came  but  they  prophesied  ;  and 
 these  were  almost  as  soon  affected  with  a  sense  of  their  sin  and 
 misery,  and  with  an  earnest  concern  for  dehverance,  as  they  made 
 their  appearance  in  our  assembly.  After  this  work  o(  grace  be- 
 gan with  power  among  (hem,  it  was  common  for  strangers  of  the 
 Indians,  before  they  had  been  with  us  one  day,  to  be  much  awa- 
 kened, deeply  convinced  of  their  sin  and  misery,  and  to  enquire 
 with  great  solicitude,  "  What  they  should  do  to  be  saved  ?" 
 
 3.  "  It  is  likewise  remarkable  how  God  preserved  these 
 poor  ignorant  Indians  from  being  prejudiced  against  me,  and  the 
 truths  I  taught  them,  by  those  means  that  were  used  with  them  for 
 that  purpose  by  ungodly  people.  There  were  many  attempts 
 made  by  some  ill-minded  persons  of  the  white  people  to  prejudice 
 them  against,  or  fright  them  from,  Christianity.  They  sometimes 
 told  them,  that  the  Indians  were  well  enough  already; — that  there 
 was  no  need  of  all  this  noise  about  Christianity  ; — that  if  they  were 
 Christians,  they  would  be  in  no  better,  no  safer,  or  happier  state, 
 than  they  were  already  in.  Sometimes  they  told  them,  that  I  was 
 a  knave,  a  deceiver,  and  the  like;  that  I  daily  taught  them  lies, 
 and  had  no  other  design  but  to  impose  upon  them,  &c.  When 
 none  of  these,  and  such  like  suggestions,  would  avail  to  their  pur 
 pose,  they  then  tried  another  expedient,  and  told  the  Indians, 
 "  My  design  was  to  gather  together  as  large  a  body  of  them  as  I 
 possibly  could,  and  then  sell  them  to  England  for  slaves  ;"  than 
 which  nothing  could  be  more  likely  to  terrify  the  Indians,  they 
 being  naturally  of  a  jealous  disposition,  and  the  most  averse  to 
 a  state  of  servitude  perhaps  of  any  people  living. 
 
 "  But  all  these  wicked  insinuations,  through  divine  goodness 
 over-ruling,  constantly  turned  against  the  authors  of  them,  and 
 only  served  to  engage  the  affections  of  the  Indians  more  firmly 
 
248  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 to  me ;  for  they,  being  awakened  to  a  solemn  concern  for  their 
 souls,  could  not  but  observe,  that  the  persons  who  endeavoured 
 to  embitter  their  minds  against  me,  were  altogether  unconcerned 
 about  their  own  souls,  and  not  only  so,  but  vicious  and  profane; 
 and  thence  could  not  but  argue,  that  if  they  had  no  concern 
 for  their  ozm,  it  was  not  likely  they  should  have  for  the  souls  of 
 others, 
 
 "  It  seems  yet  the  more  wonderful  that  the  Indians  were  pre- 
 served from  once  barkening  to  these  suggestions,  in  as  much  as 
 I  was  an  utter  stranger  among  them,  and  could  give  them  no  as- 
 surance of  my  sincere  affection  to,  and  concern  for,  them,  by  any 
 thing  that  was  past, — while  the  persons  who  insinuated  these 
 things  were  their  old  acquaintance,  who  had  frequent  opportuni- 
 ties of  gratifying  their  thirsty  appetites  with  strong  drink,  and  con- 
 sequently, doubtless,  had  the  greatest  interest  in  their  affections. 
 But  from  this  instance  of  their  preservation  from  fatal  prejudices, 
 I  have  had  occasion  with  admiration  to  say,  "  If  God  will  work, 
 who  can  hinder?" 
 
 "4.  Nor  is  it  less  wonderful  how  God  was  pleased  to  provide  a 
 remedy  for  my  want  of  skill  and  freedom  in  the  Indian  language, 
 by  remarkably  fitting  my  interpreter  for,  and  assisting  him  in  the 
 performance  of,  his  work.  It  might  reasonably  be  supposed  I 
 must  needs  labour  under  a  vast  disadvantage  in  addressing  the  In- 
 dians by  an  Interpreter;  and  that  divine  truths  would  undoubted- 
 ly lose  much  of  the  energy  and  pathos  with  which  they  might  at 
 first  be  delivered,  by  reason  of  their  coming  to  the  audience  from 
 a  second  hand.  But  although  this  has  often,  to  my  sorrow  and  dis- 
 couragement, been  the  case  in  times  past,  when  my  interpreter 
 had  little  or  no  sense  of  divine  things  ;  yet  now  it  was  quite  oth- 
 erwise. I  cannot  think  my  addresses  to  the  Indians  ordinarily, 
 since  the  beginning  of  this  season  of  grace  have  lost  any  thing  of 
 the  power  or  pungency  with  which  they  were  made,  unless  it  were 
 sometimes  for  want  of  pertinent  and  pathetic  terms  and  expres- 
 sions in  the  Indian  language  ;  which  difficulty  could  not  have  been 
 much  redressed  by  my  personal  acquaintance  with  their  language. 
 My  interpreter  had  before  gained  some  good  degree  of  doctrinal 
 knowledge,  whereby  he  was  rendered  capable  of  understanding, 
 and  communicating,  without  mistakes,  the  intent  and  meaning  of 
 my  discourses,  and  that  without  being  confined  strictly^  and  obli- 
 1  ged  to  interpret  verbatim.  He  had  likewise,  to  appearance,  an 
 experimental  acquaintance  with  divine  things  ;  and  it  pleased  God 
 at  this  season  to  inspire  his  mind  with  longing  desires  for  the  con- 
 version of  the  Indians,  and  to  give  him  admirable  zeal  and  fer- 
 vency in  addressing  them  in  order  thereto.  It  is  remarkable,  that. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  249 
 
 when  I  was  favoured  with  any  special  assistance  in  any  work,  and 
 enabled  to  speak  with  more  than  common  freedom,  fervency,  and 
 power,  under  a  lively  and  affecting  sense  of  divine  things,  he  was 
 usually  affected  in  the  same  manner  almost  instantly,  and  seemed 
 at  once  quickened  and  enabled  to  speak  in  the  same  pathetic  lan- 
 guage, and  under  the  same  influence  that  I  did.  A  surprising  en- 
 ergy  often  accompanied  the  word  at  such  seasons;  so  that  the  face 
 of  the  whole  assembly  would  be  apparently  changed  almost  in  an 
 instant,  and  tears  and  sobs  became  common  among  them. 
 
 "  He  also  appeared  to  have  such  a  clear  doctrinal  view  of  God's 
 usual  methods  of  dealing  with  souls  under  a  preparatory  work  of 
 conviction  and  humiliation's  he  never  had  before;  so  that  I  could, 
 with  his  help,  discourse  freely  with  the  distressed  persons  about 
 their  internal  exercises,  their  fears,  discouragements,  temptations, 
 he.  He  likewise  took  pains  day  and  night  to  repeat  and  inculcate 
 upon  the  minds  of  the  Indians  the  truths  which  I  taught  them  dai- 
 ly ;  and  this  he  appeared  to  do,  not  from  spiritual  pride,  and  an 
 affectation  of  setting  himself  up  as  a  public  teacher,  but  from  a 
 spirit  of  faithfulness,  and  an  honest  concern  for  their  souls. 
 
 "  His  conversation  among  the  Indians  has  likewise,  so  far  as  I  - 
 know,  been  savoury,  as  becomes  a  Christian,  and  a  person  em- 
 ployed in  his  work  ;  and  I  may  justly  say,  he  has  been  a  great 
 comfort  to  me,  and  a  great  instrument  of  promoting  this  good 
 work  among  the  Indians;  so  that  whatever  be  the  state  of  his  own 
 soul,  it  is  apparent  God  has  remarkably  fitted  him  for  this  work. 
 Thus  God  has  manifested  that,  without  bestowing  on  me  the  gift 
 of  tongues,  he  could  find  a  way  wherein  I  might  be  as  effectually 
 enabled  to  convey  the  truths  of  his  glorious  gospel  to  the  minds  of 
 these  poor  benighted  Pagans. 
 
 b.  "  It  is  further  remarkable,  that  God  has  carried  on  his 
 work  here  by  such  means,  and  in  such  a  manner,  as  tended  to  ob- 
 viate, and  leave  no  room  for,  those  prejudices  and  objections  which 
 have  often  been  raised  against  such  a  work.  When  persons  have 
 been  awake-ied  to  a  solemn  concern  for  th'ir  souls,  by  hearins;  the 
 more  awful  truths  of  God's  word,  and  the  terrors  of  the  divine 
 law  insisted  upon,  it  has  usually  in  such  cases  been  objected  by 
 some,  that  such  persons  were  only  frighted  with  a  fearful  noise  of 
 hell  and  damnation;  and  that  there  was  no  evidence  that  their 
 concern  was  the  effect  of  a  divine  influence.  But  God  has  left 
 no  room  for  this  objection  in  the  present  case  ;  this  work  of  grace  , 
 having  been  begun  and  carried  on,  by  almost  one  continued  strain 
 of  gospel  invitation  to  perishing  sinners.  This  may  reasonably  be 
 guessed,  from  a  view  of  the  passages  of  scripture  I  chiefly  insisted 
 
 .    32 
 
250  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 upon  in  my  discourses  from  time  to  time ;  which  L  have  for  that 
 purpose  inserted  in  my  Diary. 
 
 '*  Nor  have  1  ever  seen  so  general  an  awakening  in  any  assemhiy 
 in  my  hfe  as  appeared  here  while  I  was  opening  and  insisting  up- 
 on the  parable  of  the  great  supper — Luke  14th.  In  which  dis- 
 course, I  was  enabled  to  set  before  my  hearers,  the  unsearcha- 
 ble riches  of  gospel  grace.  Not  that  1  would  be  understood 
 here,  that  I  never  instructed  the  Indians  respecting  their  fallen 
 state,  and  the  sinfulness  and  misery  of  it:  for  this  was  what  I  at 
 first,  chiefly  insisted  upon  with  them,  and  endeavoured  to  repeat 
 and  inculcate  in  altnost  every  discourse,  knowing  that  without 
 tliis  foundation,  I  should  but  build  upon  the  sand,  and  that  it  would 
 be  in  vain  to  invite  them  to  Christ  unless  1  could  convince  them 
 of  their  need  of  him. — Mark  ii.  17. 
 
 "  But  still  this  great  awakening,  this  surprising  concern,  was 
 never  excited  by  any  harangues  of  terror,  but  always  appeared 
 ;  most  remarkable  when  I  insisted  upon  the  compassion  of  a 
 dying  Saviour,  the  plentiful  provisions  of  the  gospel,  and  the 
 free  offers  of  divine  grace,  to  needy,  distressed  sinners.  Nor 
 would  1  be  understood  to  insinuate,  that  such  a  religious  concern 
 might  justly  be  suspected  as  not  being  genuine,  and  from  a  divine 
 influence,  because  produced  from  the  preaching  of  terror  :  for 
 this  is  perhaps,  God's  more  usual  way  of  awakening  sinners,  and 
 appears  entirely  agreeable  to  scripture  and  sound  reason.  But 
 what  I  meant  here  to  observe  is,  that  God  saw  fit  to  employ  and 
 bless  milder  means  for  the  effectual  awakening  of  these  Indians, 
 and  thereby  obviated  the  forementioned  objection,  which  the 
 world  might  otherwise  have  had  a  more  plausible  colour  of  ma- 
 king. 
 
 ''As  there  has  been  no  room  for  any  plausible  objection  against 
 this  work,  with  regard  to  the  means  ;  so  neither  with  regard  to 
 ihQjmannej  in  which  it  has  been  carried  on.  It  is  true,  persons' 
 concern  for  their  souls  has  been  exceeding  great  ;  the  convictions 
 of  their  sin  and  misery  have  arisen  to  a  high  degree,  and  produ- 
 ced many  tears,  cries,  and  groans  ;  but  then  they  have  not  been 
 ^y  attended  with  those  disorders,  either  bodily  or  mental,  which  have 
 sometimes  prevailed  among  persons  under  religious  impressions. 
 There  has  here  been  no  appearance  of  those  convulsions^  bodily 
 agonies^  frightful  screamings.  STvoonings,  and  the  like,  which  have 
 been  so  much  complained  of  in  some  places  ;  although  there 
 have  been  some,  who,  with  the  jailer,  have  been  made  to  treni' 
 hie  under  a  sense  of  their  sin  and  misery;  numbers  who  have 
 been  made  to  cry  out  from  a  distressing  view  of  their  perishing 
 state; — and  some,  who    have  been,  for  a  time,  in  a  great  nieas- 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  251 
 
 lire,  deprived  of  their  bodily  strength,  yet  without  any  such  co7i- 
 vulsive  appearances. 
 
 ''Nor  has  there  been  any  appearance  of  mental  disorders  here, 
 such  as  visions,  trances,  imaginations  of  being  under  prophetic 
 inspiration,  and  the  hke  ;  or  scarce  any  unbeconning  disposition 
 to  appear  remarkably  affected  either  with  concern  or  joy  ;  though 
 I  must  confess,  I  observed  one  or  two  persons,  whose  concern  1 
 thought,  was  in  a  considerable  measure  alfected  ;  and  one  whose 
 joy  appeared  to  be  of  the  same  kind.  But  these  workings  of 
 spiritual  pride,  I  endeavoured  to  crush  in  their  first  appearances, 
 and  have  not  since  observed  any  affection,  either  of  joy  or  sor- 
 row, but  what  appeared  genuine  and  unaffected*     But, 
 
 Gthly  and  lastly,  The  effects  of  thjs  work  have  likewise  been 
 very  remarkable.  I  doubt  not  but  that  many  of  these  people 
 have  gained  more  doctrinal  knowledge  of  divine  truths,  since  I 
 first  visited  them  in  June  last,  than  could  have  been  instilled  into 
 their  minds  by  the  most  diligent  use  of  proper  and  instructive 
 means  for  whole  years  together,  without  such  a  divine  influence. 
 Their  Pagan  notions  and  idolatrous  practices,  seem  to  be  entirely 
 abandoned  in  these  parts.  They  are  regulated,  and  appear  regu- 
 larly disposed  in  the  affairs  of  marriage;  an  instance  whereof  I 
 have  given  in  my  Journal  of  August  14.  They  seem  generally 
 divorced  from  drunkenness,  their  darling  vice,  the  'sin  that  easily 
 besets  them  ;'  so  that  I  do  not  know  of  more  than  two  or  three 
 who  have  been  my  steady  hearers,  that  have  drunk  to  excess  since  I 
 first  visited  them ;  although  before  it  was  common  for  some  or  other 
 of  them  to  be  drunk  almost  every  day  :  and  some  of  them  seem 
 now  to  fear  this  sin  in  particular,  more  than  death  itself.  A  prin- 
 ciple of  honesty  and  justice,  appears  in  many  of  them;  and  they 
 seem  concerned  to  discharge  their  old  debts,  which  they  have 
 neglected,  and  perhaps  scarcely  thought  of  for  years  past.  Their 
 manner  of  living,  is  much  more  decent  and  comfortable  than  former- 
 ly, having  now  the  benefit  of  that  money  which  they  used  to  con- 
 sume upon  strong  drink.  Love  seems  to  reign  among  them,  es- 
 pecially those  who  have  given  evidences  of  having  passed  a  sav- 
 ing change:  and  I  never  saw  any  appearance  of  bitterness  or  cen- 
 soriousness  in  these,  nor  any  disposition  to  'esteem  themselves 
 better  than  others,'  who  had  not  received  the  like  mercy. 
 
 "As  their  sorrows  under  convictions  have  been  great  and  pres- 
 sing, so  many  of  them  have  since  appeared  to  'rejoice  with  joy; 
 unspeakable,  and  full  of  glory ;'  and  yet  I  never  saw  any  thing! 
 ecstatic  OT  flighty  in  their  joy.  Their  consolations  do  not  incline 
 them  to  lightness;  but,  on  the  contrary,  are  attended  with  solem- 
 nity, and  oftentimes  with  tears,  and  an  apparent  brokenness  of 
 heart,  as  may  bfr  seen  in  several  passages  of  my  Diary,     in  this 
 
162  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 respect,  some  of  them  have  been  surprized  at  themselves,  and 
 have  with  concern  observed  to  me,  that  "  when  their  hearts  have 
 been  glad,'  which  is  a  phrase  they  commonly  make  use  of  to  ex- 
 press t«piritual  joy,  '  they  could  not  help  crying  for  all.' 
 
 ''And  now,  upon  the  whole,  I  think,  1  may  justly  say,  that  here 
 are  all  the  symptoms  and  evidences  of  a  remarkable  work  of 
 i;race  among  these  Indians,  which  can  reasonably  be  desired  or 
 expected.  May  the  great  Author  of  this  work  maintain  and  pro- 
 mote the  same  here^  and  propagate  it  every  zohere^  till  'the  whole 
 earth  be  filled  with  his  glory  !'  Amen. 
 
 "  I  have  now  rode  more  than  three  thousand  miles,  of  which  I 
 have  kept  an  exact  account,  since  the  beginning  of  March  last, 
 and  aln)ost  the  whole  of  it  has  been  in  my  own  proper  business  as 
 a  missionary,  upon  the  design,  either  immediately,  or  more  re- 
 motely, of  propagating  Christian  ^/lozo/er/ge  among  the  Indians.  I 
 have  taken  pains  to  look  out  for  a  colleague  or  companion,  to  trav- 
 el with  me  ;  and  have  likewise  used  endeavours  to  procure  some- 
 thing for  his  support,  among  religious  persons  in  New-England, 
 which  cost  me  a  journey  of  several  hundred  miles  in  length  ;  but 
 have  not,  as  yet,  found  any  person  qualified  and  disposed  for  this 
 good  work,  although  I  had  some  encouragement  from  ministers  and 
 others,  that  it  was  hoped  a  maintenance  might  be  procured  for 
 one,  when  the  man  should  be  found. 
 
 "  I  have  likewise  of  late,  represented  to  the  gentlemen  con- 
 cerned with  this  mission,  the  necessity  of  having  an  English  5C^oo/ 
 speedily  set  up  among  these  Indians,  who  are  now  willing  to  be 
 at  the  pains  of  gathering  together  in  a  body,  for  this  purpose. 
 In  order  thereto,  I  have  humbly  proposed  to  them  the  collecting 
 of  money  for  the  maintenance  of  a  school-master,  and  the  defray- 
 ing of  other  necessary  charges,  in  the  promotion  of  this  good 
 work;  which  they  are  now  attempting  in  the  several  congrega- 
 tions of  Christians  to  which  they  respectively  belong. 
 
 ''  The  several  companies  of  Indians  to  whom  I  have  preached 
 in  the  summer  past,  live  at  ,g"re«/  distances  from  each  other.  It 
 is  more  than  seventy  miles  from  Crossweeksung,  in  New-Jersey, 
 to  the  Forks  of  Delaware  in  Pennsylvania  ;  and  thence  to  sun- 
 dry of  the  Indian  settlements  which  I  visited  on  Susquehannah, 
 is  more  than  an  hundred  and  tzoenty  miles.  So  much  of  my 
 Jime  is  necessarily  consumed  in  journeying,  that  I  can  have  but 
 little  for  any  of  my  necessary  studies,  and  consequently  for  the 
 ^tudy  of  the  Indian  languages  in  particular;  and  especially  see- 
 ing I  am  obliged  to  discourse  so  frequently  to  the  Indians  at  each 
 of  thcjic  places  while  I  am  with  them,  in  order  to  redeem  time 
 to  visit  the  rest.  I  am,  at  times,  almost  discouraged  from  at- 
 tempting to  gaio  any   acquaintance  with  the  Indian  languages, 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  253 
 
 they  are  so  very  numerous;  some  account  of  which  I  gave  in 
 my  Diary  of  May  last ;  and  especially,  seeing  my  other  la- 
 bours and  fatigues  engross  almost  the  whole  of  my  time,  and 
 bear  exceedingly  hard  upon  my  constitution,  so  that  my  health 
 is  much  impaired. — However,  1  have  taken  considerable  pains 
 to  learn  the  Delaware  lan<iuage,  and  propose  still  to  do  so,  as  far 
 as  my  other  business  and  bodily  health  will  admit.  I  have  al- 
 ready made  some  proficiency  in  it,  though  I  have  laboured 
 under  many  and  great  disadvantages  in  my  attempts  of  that 
 nature.  It  is  but  just  to  observe  here,  that  all  the  pains  I  took 
 to  acquaint  myself  with  the  language  of  the  Indians  with  whom 
 I  spent  my  first  year,  were  of  little  or  no  service  to  me  here 
 among  the  Delawares  ;  so  that  my  work,  when  I  came  among 
 these   Indians,  was  all  to  begin  anew, 
 
 "As  these  poor  ignorant  Pagans  stood  in  need  of  having  '  line 
 upon  line,  and  precept  upon  precept,'  in  order  to  their  being  in- 
 structed and  grounded  in  the  principles  of  Christianity ;  so  I 
 preached  '  publicly,  and  taught  from  house  to  house,'  almost  eve- 
 ry day  for  zvhole  weeks  together,  when  I  was  with  them.  My  pub- 
 lic discourses  did  not  then  make  up  the  one  half  of  my  work,  while 
 there  were  so  many  constantly  coming  to  me  with  that  important 
 enquiry,  'What  must  we  do  to  be  saved?'  and  opening  to  me  the 
 various  exercises  of  their  minds.  Yet  1  can  say  to  the  praise  of 
 rich  grace,  that  the  apparent  success,  with  which  my  labours  / 
 were  crowned,  unspeakably  more  than  compensated  for  the  labour  / 
 itself,  and  was  likewise  a  great  means  of  supporting  and  carrying/ 
 me  through  the  business  and  fatigues,  which,  it  seems,  my  'taturef 
 would  have  sunk  under,  without  such  an  encouragrng  prospect. 
 But  although  this  success  has  afforded  matter  of  support,  com- 
 fort, and  thankfulness;  yet  in  this  season  I  have  found' great  need 
 of  assistance  in  my  work,  and  have  been  much  oppressed  for  want 
 of  one  to  bear  a  part  of  my  labours  and  hardships.  'May  the 
 Lord  of  the  harvest  send  forth  other  labourers  into  this  part  of 
 his  harvest,  that  those  who  sit  in  darkness  may  see  great  light; 
 and  that  the  whole  earth  may  be  filled  with  the  knowledge  of 
 himself!     Amen." 
 
CHAPl'EU  VIII. 
 
 From  the  close  oj  tliejlrat  part  of  his  "  Journal,''  Xov.  5,  1745,  to  the 
 I9th  of  June,  1746. ;  when  the  second  part  of  his  Journal  terininated. 
 This,  and  the  preceding  chapter,  occupy  one  year — the  most  interesting 
 year  of  Brainerd'* s  Life. 
 
 On  Tuesday,  Nov.  5,  Brainerd  left  the  Indians,  and  spent  the 
 remaining  part  of  this  week  in  travelling  to  various  parts  of  New- 
 Jersey,  in  order  to  get  a  collection  for  the  use  of  tlie  Indians,  and  to 
 obtain  a  schoolmaster  to  instruct  them.  In  the  meantime,  he  speaks 
 of  very  sweet  refreshment  and  entertainment  with  christian  friends, 
 and  of  being  sweetly  employed  while  riding,  in  meditation  on  di- 
 vine subjects;  his  heart  being  enlarged,  his  mind  clear,  his  spirit 
 refreshed  with  divine  truths,  and  his  "  heart  burning  within  him 
 while  he  went  by  the  way,  and  the  Lord  opened  to  him  the  scrip- 
 
 Lord^s  day,  Nov.  10.  [At  Ehzabeth  Town.]  "Was  comfort- 
 able in  the  morning  both  in  body  and  mind:  preached  in  the 
 forenoon  from  2  Cor.  5.  20.  Now  then  we  are  ambassadors  for 
 Christ.  &£c.  God  was  pleased  to  give  me  freedom  and  fervency 
 in  my  discourse  ;  and  the  presence  of  God  seemed  to  be  in  the 
 assembly  ;  numbers  were  affected,  and  there  were  many  tears 
 among  them.  In  the  afternoon,  preached  from  Luke  14.  22. 
 And  yet  there  is  room.  Was  favoured  with  divine  assistance  in 
 the  first  prayer,  and  poured  out  my  soul  to  God  with  a  filial 
 temper ;  the  living  God  also  assisted  me  in  the  sermon." 
 
 The  next  day  he  went  to  Newtown  on  Long  Island,  to  a  meet- 
 ing of  the  Presbytery.  He  speaks  of  some  sweet  meditations 
 which  he  had  while  there,  on  Christ's  delivering  up  the  kingdom 
 to  the  Father;  and  of  his  soul  being  much  refreshed  and  warmed 
 with  the  consideration  of  that  blissful  day. 
 
 Nov.  15.  "Could  not  cross  the  ferry  by  reason  of  the  violence 
 of  the  wind;  nor  could  I  enjoy  any  place  of  retirement  at  the 
 Ferry-house  ;  so  that  I  was  in  perplexity.  Yet  God  gave  me 
 some  satisfaction  and  sweetness  in  meditation,  and  in  lifting  up 
 my  heart  to  him  in  the  midst  of  company.     Although  some  were 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  255 
 
 drinking  and  talking  profanely,  which  was  indeed  a  grief  to  me ; 
 yet  my  mind  was  calm  and  composed  ;  and  I  could  not  but  bless 
 God,  that  I  was  not  likely  to  spend  an  eternity  in  such  company. 
 In  the  evening  I  sat  down  and  wrote  with  composure  and  freedom; 
 and  can  say  through  pure  grace  it  was  a  comfortable  evening  to 
 my  soul;  an  evening  which  I  was  enabled  to  spend  in  the  service 
 of  God. 
 
 J^/ov.  16.  "  Crossed  the  fenry  about  ten  o'clock,  and  arrived  at 
 Elizabeth  Town  near  night.  Was  in  a  calm,  composed  frame  of 
 mind,  and  felt  an  entire  resignation,  with  respect  to  a  loss  I  had 
 lately  sustained  in  having  my  horse  stolen  from  me  the  last 
 Wednesday  night,  at  Newtown.  Had  some  longings  of  soul  for 
 the  dear  people  of  Klizabeth  Town,  that  God  would  pour  out  his 
 Spirit  upon  them,  and  revive  his  work  among  them." 
 
 He  spent  the  next  four  days  at  Elizabeth  Town,  for  the  most 
 part  in  a  free  and  comfortable  state  of  mind ;  intensely  engaged  in 
 the  service  of  God,  and  enjoying  at  times  the  special  assistance 
 of  his  Spirit.  On  Thursday  of  this  week  he  rode  to  Freehold, 
 and  spent  the  day  under  considerable  dejection, 
 
 JVov.  22.  "  Rode  to  Mr.  Tennents,  and  from  thence  to  Cross- 
 weeksung.  Had  but  little  freedom  in  meditation  while  riding ; 
 which  was  a  grief  and  burden  to  my  soul.  Oh  that  I  could  fill 
 up  all  my  time,  whether  in  the  house  or  by  the  way,  for  God.  I 
 I  was  enabled,  I  think,  this  day  to  give  up  my  soul  to  God,  and 
 put  over  all  his  concerns  into  his  hands  ;  and  found  some  real 
 consolation  in  the  thought  of  being  entirely  at  the  divine  disposal, 
 and  having  no  will  or  interest  of  my  own.  I  have  received  ray 
 all  from  God ;  Oh  that  I  could  return  my  all  to  God  !  Surely 
 God  is  worthy  of  my  highest  affections  and  most  devout  adoration; 
 he  is  infinitely  worthy  that  I  should  make  him  my  last  end,  and 
 live  for  ever  to  him.  Oh  that  I  might  never  more,  in  any  one 
 instance,  live  to  myself! 
 
 Lord's  day,  Nov.  24.*  "  Preached  both  parts  of  the  day  from 
 the  story  of  Zaccheus,  Luke  19.  1 — 9.  In  the  latter  exercise, 
 when  I  opened  and  insisted  upon  the  salvation  that  comes  to  a  sin- 
 ner upon  his  becoming  a  son  of  Abraham  or  a  true  believer,  the 
 word  seemed  to  be  attended  with  divine  power  to  the  hearts  of  the 
 hearers.  Numbers  were  much  affected  with  divine  truths;  former 
 convictions  were  rivived  ;  one  or  two  persons  newly  awakened  ; 
 and  a   most    affectionate   engagement  in  divine  service  appeared 
 
 *  The  second  part  of  the  Journal  began  here. 
 
256  MEMOmS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 among  them  universally.  The  impressions  they  were  under  ap- 
 peared to  be  the  genuine  effect  of  God's  word  brought  home 
 to  their  hearts  by  the  power  and  influence  of  the  Divine 
 Spirit. 
 
 JVb«.  26.  "After  having  spent  some  time  in  private  conferences 
 with  my  people,  I  discoursed  publicly  among  them  from  John  v. 
 1 — 9.  I  was  favored  with  some  special  freedom  and  fervency  in 
 my  discourse,  and  a  powerful  energy  accompanied  divine  truths. 
 Many  wept  and  sobbed  affectionately,  and  scarcely  any  appeared 
 unconcerned  in  the  whole  assembly.  The  influence  which  seized 
 the  audience,  appeared  gentle,  and  yet  pungent  and  efficacious. 
 It  produced  no  boisterous  commotions  of  the  passions ;  but  seem- 
 ed deeply  to  affect  the  heart,  and  excite  in  the  persons  under 
 convictions  of  their  lost  state,  heavy  groans  and  tears  :  and  in  oth- 
 ers, who  had  obtained  comfort,  a  sweet  and  humble  melting.  It 
 seemed  like  the  gentle  but  steady  showers  which  effectually  water 
 the  earth,  without  violently  beating  upon  the  surface.  The  per- 
 sons lately  awakened  were  some  of  them  deeply  distressed  for 
 their  souls,  and  appeared  earnestly  solicitous  to  obtain  an  interest 
 in  Christ :  and  some  of  them,  after  public  worship  was  over,  in 
 anguish  of  spirit,  said  "they  knew  not  what  to  do,  nor  how  to 
 get  their  wicked  hearts  changed."  &ic. 
 
 J^ov.  28.  "Discoursed  to  the  Indians  publicly,  after  having 
 used  some  private  endeavours  to  instruct  and  excite  some  in  the 
 duties  of  Christianity.  Opened  and  made  remarks  upon  the  sa- 
 cred story  of  our  Lord's  transfiguration,  Luke  9.  28 — 36.  Had 
 a  principal  view  in  insisting  upon  this  passage  of  scripture  to  the 
 edification  and  consolation  of  God's  people.  Observed  some, 
 that  I  have  reason  to  think  are  truly  such,  exceedingly  affected 
 with  an  account  of  the  glory  of  Christ  in  his  transfiguration,  and 
 filled  with  longing  desires  of  being  with  him,  that  they  might  with 
 open  face  behold  his  glory. 
 
 "After  public  service  was  over,  I  asked  one  of  them,  who  wept 
 and  sobbed  most  affectionately.  What  she  now  wanted?  She  re- 
 plied, "Oh,  to  be  with  Christ.  She  did  not  know  how  to  stay," 
 k,c.  This  was  a  blessed  refreshing  season  to  the  religious  people 
 in  general.  The  Lord  Jesus  Christ  seemed  to  manifest  his  divine 
 glory  to  them,  as  when  transfigured  before  his  disciples;  and  they 
 were  ready  with  the  disciples  universally  to  say,  "  Lord  it  is  good 
 for  us  to  be  here." 
 
 "The  influence  of  God's  word  was  not  confined  to  those,  who 
 had  given  evidence  of  being  truly  gracious;  though  at  this  time 
 I  calculated  my  discourse  for  and  directed  it  chiefly  to  such.  But 
 it  appeared  to  be  a  season  of  Divine  power  in  the  whole  assembly; 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  257 
 
 so  that  most  were  in  some  measure  affected.  One  aged  man,  in 
 particular,  lately  awakened,  was  now  brought  under  a  deep  and 
 pressing  concern  for  his  soul,  was  now  earnestly  inquisitive  '*ho\v 
 he  might  find  Jesus  Christ."  God  seems  still  to  vouchsafe  his 
 divine  presence,  and  the  influence  of  his  blessed  Spirit  to  accom- 
 pany his  word,  at  least  in  some  measure,  in  all  our  meetings  for 
 divine  worship. 
 
 "  I  enjoyed  some  divine  comfort  and  fervency  in  the  public 
 exercise  and  afterwards.  While  riding  to  my  lodgings,  was  iavor- 
 ed  with  some  sweet  meditations  on  Luke  9.  31.  "Who  appeared 
 in  glory,  and  spake  of  his  decease,  which  he  should  accomplish 
 at  Jerusalem."  My  thoughts  ran  with  freedom  ;  and  I  saw  and 
 felt  what  a  glorious  subject  the  death  of  Christ  is  for  glorified  souls 
 to  dwell  upon  in  their  conversation.  O  the  death  of  Christ!  how 
 infinitely  precious! 
 
 Xov.  30.  "Preached  near  night,  after  having  spent  some  hours 
 in  private  conference  with  some  of  my  people  about  their  souls' 
 concerns.  Explained  and  insisted  upon  the  story  of  the  rich  man 
 and  Lazarus,  Luke  16.  19 — 26.  The  word  made  powerful  im- 
 pressions upon  many  in  the  assembly,  especially  while  I  discours- 
 ed of  the  blessedness  of  Lazarus  in  Abraham's  bosom.  This  I 
 could  perceive  affected  them  much  more  than  what  I  spoke  of 
 the  rich  man's  misery  and  torments;  and  thus  it  has  been  usualiy 
 with  them.  They  have  almost  always  appeared  much  more  af- 
 fected with  the  comfortable  than  the  dreadful  truths  of  God's 
 word.  That  which  has  distressed  many  of  them  under  convic- 
 tion is,  that  they  found  they  wanted,  and  could  not  obtain,  ihe 
 happiness  of  the  godly;  at  least,  they  have  often  appeared  to  be 
 more  affected  with  this  than  with  the  terrors  of  hell.  But  what- 
 ever be  the  means  of  their  awakening,  it  is  plain,  numbers  are 
 made  deeply  sensible  of  their  sin  and  misery,  the  wickedness  and 
 stubbornness  of  their  own  hearts,  their  utter  inability  to  help  them- 
 selves, or  to  come  to  Christ  for  help,  without  divine  assistance; 
 and  so  are  brought  to  see  their  perishing  need  of  Christ  to  do  all 
 for  them  and  to  lie  at  the  foot  of  sovereign  mercy. 
 
 Lord's  day,  Dec.  L  "Discoursed  to  my  people  in  the  fore- 
 noon from  Luke  16.  27—31.  There  appeared  an  unfeigned  af- 
 fection in  divers  persons,  and  some  seemed  deeply  impressed  with 
 divine  truths.  In  the  afternoon,  preached  to  a  number  of  while 
 people;  at  which  time  the  Indians  attended  w^ith  dihaenc?,  and 
 many  of  them  were  unable  to  understand  a  considerable  part  of 
 the  discourse.  At  night  discoursed  to  my  people  again,  and  gave 
 them  particular  cautions  and  directions  relating  to  their  conduct  in 
 divers  respects,  and  pressed  them  to  watchfulnessintheir  deportment, 
 
 3:^ 
 
258  3iEM01RS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 seeing  they  were  encompassed  with  those  who  waited  for  their 
 hahing,  and  who  stcod  ready  to  draw  thenti  into  temptations,  of 
 every  kind  and  then  to  expose  rehgion  hy  their  missteps. 
 
 Dec.  2.  "Was  much  aftected  with  grief  that  I  had  not  hved 
 more  to  God  ;  and  felt  strong  resolutions  to  double  my  diligence 
 in  my  Master's  service." 
 
 After  this  he  went  to  a  meeting  of  the  Presbytery,  at  a  place 
 in  N.  Jersey,  called  Connecticut  Farms;  which  occasioned  his  ab- 
 sence from  his  people  the  remainder  of  the  week-  He  speaks  of 
 some  seasons  of  sweetness  and  spiritual  affection  in  his  absence. 
 
 LortVs  day,  Dec.  8.  "  Discoursed  on  the  story  of  the  blind 
 man,  John  9.  There  appeared  no  remarkable  effect  of  the  word 
 upon  the  assembly  at  this  time.  The  persons  who  have  lately 
 been  much  concerned  for  their  souls,  seemed  now  not  so  affected 
 nor  solicitous  to  obtain  an  interest  in  Christ  as  has  been  usual  ;  al- 
 though they  attended  divine  service  with  seriousness  and  diligence. 
 Such  have  been  the  doings  of  the  Lord  here  in  awakening  sinners. 
 and  affecting  the  hearts  of  those  who  are  brought  to  solid  comfort 
 with  a  fresh  sense  of  divine  things,  from  time  to  time,  that  it  is 
 now  strange  to  see  the  assembly  sit  with  dry  eyes  and  without  sob? 
 and  groans. 
 
 Dec,  9.  "  Spent  most  of  the  day  in  procuring  provisions  in  or- 
 der to  my  setting  up  house-keeping  among  the  Indians.  Enjoyed 
 little  satisfaction  through  the  day  being  very  much  out  of  my  ele- 
 ment. 
 
 Dec.  10.  "  ^Vas  engaged  in  the  same  business  as  yesterday. 
 Towards  night  got  into  my  house.* 
 
 Dec.  11.  "  Spent  the  forenoon  in  necessary  labours  about  my 
 house.  In  the  afternoon  rode  out  upon  business  ;  and  spent  the 
 evening  with  some  satisfaction  among  friends  in  conversation  on  a 
 serious  and  profitable  subject. 
 
 Dec.  12.  "  Preached  from  the  parable  of  llie  Ten  Virgins. 
 Matt.  25.  The  divine  power  seemed  in  some  measure  to  aliend 
 this  discourse  ;  in  which  I  was  favoured  wivh  uncommon  freedom 
 and  plainness  of  address,  and  enabled  to  open  divine  truths,  and 
 explain  them  to  the  capacities  of  my  people  in  a  manner  beyond 
 myself.  There  appeared  in  many  persons  an  affectionate  concern 
 for  their  souls,  although  the  concern  in  general  seemed  not  so 
 deep  and  pressing  as  it  had  formerly  done.     Yet  it  was  refreshing 
 
 *  This  is  the  tliird  house  that  he  built  to  d\vr\]  in  aincns-  Ihe  ludinns.  The  fir?! 
 at  Kaunanmeek,  county  of  Alhony;  the  second  at  the  Forks  of  Delaware  ;  Uie 
 third  at  Cross  week?  unj::,  N.Jersey. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  259 
 
 to  see  many  melted  into  tears  and   unaffected  sobs ;  some   with  a 
 sense  of  divine  love,  and  some  for  the  want  of  it. 
 
 Dec. 13.  "Spent  the  day  mainly  in  labour  about  my  house. 
 In  the  evening,  spent  some  time  in  writins; ;  but  was  very  weary 
 and  much  outdone  with  the  labour  of  the  day. 
 
 Dec.  14.  "Rose  early,  and  wrote  by  candle  light  some  con- 
 siderable time:  spent  most  of  the  day  in  writing,  but  was  some- 
 what dejected.  In  the  evening  was  exercised  with  pain  in  my 
 head. 
 
 Dec.  15.  "Preached  to  the  Indians  from  Luke  13.24 — 28. 
 Divine  truth  fell  with  weight  and  power  upon  the  audience  and 
 seemed  to  reach  the  hearts  of  many.  Near  night  discoursed  to 
 them  again  from  JVlatt.  25.  31 — 46.  At  this  season  also  the  word 
 appeared  to  be  accompanied  with  a  divine  influence,  and  made 
 powerful  impressions  upon  the  assembl)-  in  general,  as  well  as 
 upon  numbers  in  a  very  special  and  particular  manner.  This  was 
 an  amazing  season  of  grace.  "The  word  of  the  Lord,''  this 
 day,  "was  quick  and  powerful,  sharper  than  a  two  edged  sword," 
 and  pierced  the  hearts  of  many.  The  assembly  was  greatly  af- 
 fected and  deeply  wrought  upon;  yet  without  so  much  apparent 
 commotion  of  the  passions  as  appeared  in  the  beginning  of  this 
 work  of  grace.  The  impressions  made  by  the  word  of  God  upon 
 the  audience  appeared  solid,  rational,  and  deep ;  worthy  of  the 
 solemn  truths  by  which  they  were  produced ;  and  far  from  being 
 the  effects  of  any  sudden  fright  or  groundless  perturbation  of 
 mind.  O,  how  did  the  hearts  of  the  hearers  seem  to  bow  under 
 the  weight  of  divine  truths  ;  and  how  evident  did  it  now  appear, 
 that  they  received  and  felt  them,  "  not  as  the  word  of  man,  but 
 as  the  word  of  God."  None  can  form  a  just  idea  of  the  appear- 
 ance of  our  assembly  at  this  time  but  those  who  have  seen  a  con- 
 gregation solemnly  awed,  and  deeply  impressed  by  the  special 
 powder  and  influence  of  divine  truths  delivered  to  them  in  the  name 
 of  God. 
 
 Dec,  1 6.  "  Discoursed  to  my  people  in  the  evening  from  Luke 
 xi.  1 — 13.  After  having  insisted  some  time  upon  the  ninth  verse, 
 wherein  there  is  a  command  and  encouragement  to  ask  for  the 
 divine  favour,  I  called  upon  them  to  ask  for  a  new  heart  with  the 
 utmost  importunity  ;  as  the  man  mentioned  in  the  parable,  on 
 which  I  was  discoursing,  pleaded  for  loves  of  bread  at  midnight. 
 There  was  much  affection  and  concern  in  the  assembly,  and  es- 
 pecially one  woman  appeared  in  great  distress  for  her  soul.  She 
 was  brought  to  such  an  agony  in  seeking  after  Christ,  that  the 
 sweat  ran  off  her  fare  for  a  considerable  time  together  ;  (although 
 
260  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERL). 
 
 the  evening  was  very  cold ;)  and  her  bitter  cries  were  the  most 
 affecting  indications  of  her  heart." 
 
 The  remainder  of  this  day  he  spent  chiefly  in  writing  ;  some 
 part  of  the  time  under  a  degree  of  melancholy  ;  but  some  part 
 of  it  with  a  sweet  ardency  in  religion. 
 
 Dec,  21.  "  My  people  having  now  attained  to  a  considerable 
 degree  of  knowledge  in  the  principles  of  Christianity  ;  I  thought 
 it  proper  to  set  up  a  catechetical  lecture  among  them  ;  and  this 
 evening  attempted  something  in  that  form  ;  proposing  questions 
 to  them  agreeably  to  the  Assembly's  Shorter  Catechism,  receiv- 
 ing their  answers,  and  then  explaining  and  insisting  as  appeared 
 necessary  and  proper  upon  each  question.  After  this  I  endeav- 
 ored to  make  some  practical  improvement  of  the  whole.  This 
 was  the  method,  I  entered  upon.  They  were  able  readily  and 
 rationally  to  answer  many  important  questions  which  I  proposed 
 to  them  ;  so  that,  upon  trial,  I  found  their  doctrinal  knowledge 
 
 "^to  exceed  my  own  expectations.  In  the  improvement  of  my  dis- 
 course, when  I  came  to  infer  and  open  the  blessedness  of  those, 
 who  have  so  great  and  glorious  a  God,  as  had  before  been  spo- 
 ken of,  "  for  their  everlasting  friend  and  portion  ;"  several  were 
 much  affected,  and  especially  when  I  exhorted,  and  endeavored 
 to  persuade,  them  to  be  reconciled  to  God  through  his  dear  Son, 
 and  thus  to  secure  an  interest  in  his  everlasting  favour.  So  that 
 they  appeared  not  only  enlightened  and  instructed,  but  affected 
 and  engaged  in  their  soul's  concern  by  this  method  of  discoursing. 
 After  my  labours  with  the  Indians,  I  spent  some  time  in  writing 
 some  things  divine  and  solemn;  and  was  much  wearied  with  the 
 labours  of  the  day,  found  that  my  spirits  were  extremely  spent, 
 and  that  I  could  do  no  more.  I  am  conscious  to  myself,  that  my 
 labours  are  as  great  and  constant  as  my  nature  will  admit ;  and 
 ordinarily  I  go  to  the  extent  of  my  strength,  so  that  I  do  all  I 
 can  :  but  the  misery  is  I  do  not  labour  with  that  heavenly  tem- 
 per, that  single  eye  to  the  glory  of  God,  that  I  long  for." 
 
 LordPs  Day,  Dec,  22.  Discoursed  upon  the  story  of  the 
 young  man  in  the  Gospel,  Matt.  ix.  16 — 22.  God  made  it  a 
 seasonable  word,  I  am  persuaded,  to  some  souls.  There  were 
 several  of  the  Indians  newly  come  here,  who  had  frequently  lived 
 among  Quakers  ;  and,  being  more  civilized  and  conformed  to 
 Enghsh  manners  than  the  generality  of  the  Indians,  they  had  im- 
 bibed some  of  the  Quaker's  errors,  especially  this  fundamental 
 one,  viz.   That,  if  men  will  but  live  soberly  and  honestly  according 
 
 "'  to  the  dictates  of  their  oron  consciencss,  or  the  light  within,  there  is 
 then  no  danger  or  doubt  of  their  salvation.  These  persons  I  found 
 much  worse  to  deal  with  than  those  who  are  wholly  under  Pagan 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  261 
 
 darkness  ;  who  make  no  pretences  to  knowledge  in  Christianity 
 at  all,  nor  have  any  seif-righteous  foundation  to  stand  upon. 
 However,  they  all,  except  one,  appeared  now  convinced  that 
 this  sober  honest  life  of  itself  was  not  sufficient  to  salvation  ;  since 
 Christ  himself  had  declared  it  so  in  the  case  of  the  young  man. 
 They  seemed  in  some  measure  concerned  to  obtain  that  change 
 of  heart,  the  necessity  of  which  I  had  been  labouring  to  shew 
 them. 
 
 This  was  likewise  a  season  of  comfort  to  some  souls,  and  in 
 particular  to  one,  the  same  mentioned  in  my  journal  of  the  16th 
 instant,  who  never  before  obtained  any  settled  comfort,  though 
 I  have  abundant  reason  to  think  she  had  passed  a  saving  change 
 some  days  before.  She  now  appeared  in  a  heavenly  frame  of 
 mind,  composed,  and  delighted  with  the  divine  will.  When  I 
 came  to  discourse  particularly  with  her,  and  to  enquire  of  her, 
 how  she  obtained  relief  and  deliverance  from  the  spiritual  dis- 
 tresses which  she  had  lately  suffered  ;  she  answered,  in  broken 
 English,*  "  Jl/e  try^  me  try  save  myself;  last,  my  strength  be  all 
 gone;  (meaning  her  ability  to  save  herself;)  could  not  me  stir  bit 
 further.  Den  last  me  forced  let  Jesus  Christ  alone  send  me  hell,  if 
 he  please^''  I  said,  "  But,  you  was  not  willing  to  go  to  hell ;  was 
 you?^"^  She  replied,  "  Could  not  me  help  it.  My  heart,  he  would 
 wicked  for  all.  Could  not  me  make  him  good,  (meaning,  she  saw 
 it  was  right  she  shoidd  go  to  hell,  because  her  heart  was  wicked,  and 
 would  be  so  after  all  she  could  do  to  mend  it.)  I  asked  her,  how 
 she  got  out  of  this  case.  She  answered  still  in  the  same  broken 
 language,  ''''By  by,  my  heart  be  glad  desperately.'^'*  I  asked  her, 
 why  her  heart  was  glad  ?  She  replied,  "  Glad  my  heart,  Jesus 
 Christ  do  what  he  please  with  me.  Den  me  tink,  glad  my  heart  Jesus 
 Christ  send  me  to  hell.  Did  not  me  care  where  he  put  me  ;  love 
 him  for  all,'''*  &c.  She  could  not  readily  be  convinced,  but  that 
 she  was  willing  to  go  to  hell  if  Christ  was  pleased  to  send  her 
 there  ;  although  the  truth  evidently  was,  that  her  will  was  so 
 swallowed  up  in  the  divine  will,  that  she  could  not  frame  any  hell 
 in  her  imagination  which  would  be  dreadful  or  undesirable,  pro- 
 vided it  was  the  will  of  God  to  send  her  to  it.  Toward  night  dis- 
 coursed to  them  again  in  the  catechetical  method,  which  I  enter- 
 ed upon  the  evening  before.  When  I  came  to  improve  the  truth, 
 which  I  had  explained  to  them,  and  to  answer  that  question, 
 "  But  how  shall  I  know  whether  God  has  chosen  me  to  everlasting 
 life?''''  by  pressing   them  to  come  and  give  up   their  hearts  to 
 
 *  In  proper  English,  "  /  tried^  and  tried  to  save  myself,  till  at  last  my  strength  was 
 alt  gone,  and  I  could  not  stir  any  further.  Then  I  was  at  last  obliged  to  let  Jesus 
 Christ  alonej  to  send  we  to  hell  if  he  pleased. 
 
262  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 Christ  and  thereby  "  to  make  their  election  sure,"  they  then  ap- 
 peared much  affected  :  and  persons  under  concern  were  afresh 
 engaged  in  seeking  after  an  interest  in  him  ;  while  some  others, 
 who  had  obtained  comfort  before,  were  refreshed  to  find  that 
 love  to  God  in  themselves,  which  was  an  evidence  of  his  electing 
 love  to  them. 
 
 Dec.  23  and  24.  "  Spent  three  days  in  writing  w^ith  the  utmost 
 diligence.  Felt  in  tl)e  main  a  sweet  mortification  to  the  world, 
 and  a  desire  to  live  and  labour  only  for  God  ;  but  wanted  more 
 warmth  and  spirituahty,  and  a  more  sensible  and  affectionate  re- 
 gard for  the  giory  of  God. 
 
 Dec,  25.  "  The  Indians  having  been  used,  on  Christmas 
 days,  to  drink  and  revel  among  some  of  the  white  people  in  these 
 parts  ;  I  thought  it  proper  this  day  to  call  them  together  and  dis- 
 course to  them  upon  divine  things  ;  which  I  accordingly  did  from 
 the  parable  of  the  barren  fig  tree,  Luke  xiii.  6 — 9.  A  divine 
 influence,  lam  persuaded,  accompanied  the  word  at  this  season. 
 The  power  of  God  appeared  in  the  assembly,  not  by  producing 
 any  remarkable  crisis,  but  by  rousing  several  stupid  creatures 
 who  were  scarcely  ever  moved  with  any  concern  before.  The 
 power  attending  divine  truths  seemed  to  have  the  influence  of  the 
 earthquake  rather  than  of  the  whirlwind  upon  them.  Their  pas- 
 sions were  not  so  much  alarmed  as  has  been  common  here  in 
 times  past,  but  their  judgments  appeared  to  be  powerfully  con- 
 vinced by  the  masterly  and  conquering*influence  of  divine  truths. 
 The  impressions  made  upon  the  assembly  in  general,  seemed  not 
 superficial,  but  deep,  and  heart  affecting.  O  how  ready  did  they 
 now  appear  universally  to  embrace  and  comply  with  every  thing 
 which  they  heard,  and  were  convinced  was  their  duty.  God  was 
 in  the  midst  of  us,  of  a  truth,  bowing  and  melting  stubborn  hearts  ! 
 How  many  tears  and  sobs  were  then  to  be  seen  and  heard  among 
 us  !  What  liveliness  and  strict  attention  !  What  eagerness  and 
 intenseness  of  mind  appeared  in  the  whole  assembly,  iji  the  time 
 of  Divine  service.  They  seemed  to  watch  and  wait  for  the  drop- 
 pings of  God's  word,  as  the  thirsty  earth,  for  the  "  former  and 
 latter  rain." 
 
 "  Afterwards  I  discoursed  to  them  on  the  duty  of  husbands  and 
 wives,  from  Eph.  v.  22—23,  and  have  reason  to  think  this  was  a 
 word  in  season.  Spent  some  time  further  in  the  evening  in  in- 
 culcating the  truths  on  which  I  had  insisted  in  my  former  dis- 
 course, respecting  the  barren  fig  tree  ;  and  observed  a  powerful 
 influence  accompany  what  was  spoken. 
 
 Dec,  26.  "  This  evening  was  visited  by  a  person  under  great 
 spiritual  distress  ;  the  most  remarkable   instance  of  this   kind  I 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  263 
 
 ever  saw.  She  was,  I  believe,  more  than  fourscore  years  old  ; 
 and  appeared  to  be  much  broken  and  very  childish,  through  age  ; 
 so  that  it  seemed  impossible  for  man  to  instil  into  her  any  notions 
 of  Divine  things  ;  not  so  much  as  to  give  her  any  doctrinal  in- 
 struction, because  she  seemed  incapable  of  being  taught.  She 
 was  led  by  the  hand  into  my  house,  and  appeared  in  extreme  an- 
 guish. 1  asked  her,  what  ailed  her?  She  answered. /?er  Ae«r^ 
 was  distressed,  and  she  feared  she  should  never  find  Christ.^^  I 
 asked  her  when  she  began  to  be  concerned,  with  divers  other 
 questions  relating  to  her  distress.  To  all  which  she  answered, 
 for  substance,  to  this  effect :  That  she  had  heard  me  preach  many 
 times^  but  never  knew  any  thing  about  it^  never  felt  it  in  her  heart, 
 till  the  last  Sabbath,  and  then  it  came,  she  said,  all  one,  as  if  a  nee- 
 dle had  been  thrust  into  her  heart  ;  since  which  time,  she  had  no 
 rest  day  nor  night.  She  added,  that  on  the  evening  before  Christ- 
 mas, a  number  of  Indians  being  together,  at  the  house  where  she  was, 
 and  discoursing  about  Christ,  their  talk  pricked  her  heart  so  that 
 she  could  not  set  up,  bid  fell  down  in  her  bed  ;  at  which  time  she 
 2ve7it  away,  as  she  expressed  it,  and  felt  as  if  she  dreamed,  and  yet 
 is  corrfdenl  she  did  not  dream.  When  she  was  thus  gone,  she  sazu 
 two  paths  ^  one  appeared  very  broad  and  crooked^  and  that  turned 
 to  the  left  hand.  The  other  appeared  straight  and  very  narrow  ; 
 and  that  went  up  the  hill  to  the  right  hand.  She  travelled,  she  said, 
 for  some  time  up  the  narrow  right  hand  path,  till  at  length  something 
 seemed  to  obstruct  her  journey.  She  sometimes  called  it  darkness  ; 
 and  then  described  it  otherwise,  and  seemed  to  compare  it  to  a  block 
 or  bar.  She  then  remembered  what  she  had  heard  me  say  about  stri- 
 ving to  enter  in  at  the  straight  gate, although  she  took  Uttlenoticc  of  it. 
 at  the  time  zohen  she  heard  me  discourse  upon  that  subject ;  and 
 thought  she  woidd  climb  over  this  bar.  But  just  as  she  zons  think- 
 ing of  this,  she  came  back  again,  as  she  termed  it,  meaning  that  she 
 came  to  herself ;  zu hereupon  her  soul  zvas  extremely  distressed,  ap- 
 prehending  that  she  had  nozo  turned  back,  and  forsaken  Christ,  and 
 that  there  zoas  therefore  no  hope  of  mercy  for  her. 
 
 "  As  I  was  sensible  that  trances,  and  imaginary  views  of  things 
 are  of  dangerous  tendency  in  religion,  where  sought  after  and  de- 
 pended upon  ;  so  I  could  not  but  be  much  concerned  about  this 
 exercise,  especially  at  first ;  apprehending  this  might  be  a  design 
 of  satan  to  bring  a  blemish  upon  the  work  of  God  here,  by  intro- 
 ducing visionary  scenes,  imaginary  terrors,  and  all  manner  of  men- 
 tal disorders  and  delusions,  in  the  room  of  genuine  convictions  of 
 sin,  and  the  enlightening  influences  of  the  blessed  Spirit  ;  and  I 
 was  almost  resolved  to  declare,  that  I  looked  upon  this  to  be  one 
 ©f  Satan's  devices,  and  to  caution  my  people  again^t  this  and  sim- 
 
264  BIEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 ilar  exercises  of  that  nature.  However,  I  determined  first  to  en- 
 quire into  her  knowledge,  to  see  whether  she  had  any  just  views 
 of  things  which  might  be  the  occasion  of  her  present  distressing 
 concern,  or  whether  it  was  a  mere  fright,  arising  only  from  ima- 
 ginary terrors.  I  asked  her  divers  questions  respecting  man's 
 primitive,  and  more  especially,  his  present  state,  and  respecting 
 her  own  heart  ;  which  she  answered  rationally,  and  to  my  sur- 
 prise. I  thought  it  next  to  impossible,  if  not  altogether  so,  that 
 a  Pagan,  who  was  become  a  child  through  age,  should  in  that 
 state  gain  so  much  knowledge  by  any  mere  human  instruction, 
 without  being  remarkably  enlightened  by  a  divine  influence.  I 
 then  proposed  to  her  the  provision  made  in  the  gospel  for  the  sal- 
 vation of  sinners,  and  the  ability  and  willingness  of  Christ  "  to  save 
 to  the  uttermost  all,  old  as  well  as  young,  that  come  to  him." 
 To  this  she  seemed  to  give  a  hearty  assent ;  but  instantly  replied, 
 "  Ay,  hut  I  cannot  come  ;  "  my  wicked  heart  willnot  come  to  Christ ; 
 /  do  not  knozo  how  to  come,''''  &LC.  This  she  spoke  in  anguish  of 
 spirits,  striking  on  her  breast,  with  tears  in  her  eyes,  and  with 
 such  earnestness  in  her  looks,  as  was  indeed  piteous  and  affecting. 
 She  seems  to  be  really  convinced  of  her  sin  and  misery,  and  her 
 need  of  a  change  of  heart.  Her  concern  is  abiding  and  constant, 
 so  that  nothing  appears  why  this  exercise  may  not  have  a  saving 
 issue.  Indeed  there  seems  reason  to  hope  such  an  issue,  seeing 
 she  is  so  solicitous  to  obtain  an  interest  in  Christ;  that  her  heart, 
 as  she  expresses  it,  prays  day  and  night. 
 
 How  far  God  may  make  use  of  the  imaginatiofi  in  awakening 
 some  persons  under  these,  and  similar  circumstances,  I  cannot 
 pretend  to  determine.  Or,  whether  this  exercise  be  from  a  di- 
 vine influence,  I  shall  leave  others  to  judge.  But  this  I  must  say, 
 that  its  effects  hitherto  bespeak  it  to  be  such  ;  nor  can  it,  as  I  see, 
 be  accounted  for  in  any  rational  way,  but  from  the  influence  of 
 some  spirit  either  good  or  evil.  The  woman,  I  am  sure,  never 
 heard  divine  things  in  the  manner  in  which  she  now  viewed  them  ; 
 and  it  would  seem  strange  that  she  should  get  such  a  rational  no- 
 tion of  them  from  the  mere  working  of  her  own  fancy,  without 
 some  superior,  or  at  least  foreign,  aid.  Yet  I  must  say,  I  have 
 looked  upon  it  as  one  of  the  glories  of  this  work  of  grace  among 
 the  Indians,  and  a  special  evidence  of  its  being  from  a  divine  in- 
 fluence, that  there  has,  till  now,  been  no  appearance  of  such 
 things,  no  visionary  notions,  trances,  and  imaginations,  intermixed 
 with  those  rational  convictions  of  sin,  and  solid  consolations,  of 
 which  numbers  have  been  made  the  subjects.  And  might  I  have 
 had  my  desire,  there' had  been  no  appearance  of  anv  thina  of  this 
 nature  at  all.  -  '  "^ 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  265 
 
 Dec,  27.  "  Laboured  in  my  studies  to  the  utmost  of  my 
 strenght,  and  though  1  telt  a  steady  disposition  of  mind  to  Hve 
 to  God,  and  a  tirm  conviction  that  I  had  nothing  in  this  world  to 
 hve  for,  yet  1  did  not  tind  that  sensible  atfeclion  in  the  service  of 
 God  which  I  wanted  to  have.  My  heart  seemed  barren,  though 
 my  head  and  hands  were  full  of  labour. 
 
 Dec,  28.  "  Discoursed  to  my  people  in  the  catechetical  meth- 
 od on  which  I  lately  entered.  In  the  improvement  of  my  dis- 
 course, wherein  I  was  comparing  man's  present  with  his  primi- 
 tive state,  and  shewing  from  what  he  had  fallen,  and  i\\c  miseries 
 in  which  he  is  now  involved,  and  to  which  he  is  exposed  in  his 
 natural  estate;  and  pressing  sinners  to  take  a  view  of  their  de- 
 plorable circumstances  without  Christ,  as  also  to  strive  that  they 
 might  obtain  an  interest  in  him;  the  Lord,  I  trust,  granted  a 
 remarkable  influence  of  his  blessed  Spirit  to  accompany  what  was 
 spoken  ;  and  a  great  concern  appeared  in  the  assembly.  Many 
 were  melted  into  tears  and  sobs  ;  and  the  impressions  made  upon 
 them  seemed  deep  and  heart-affecting.  In  particular,  there  were 
 two  or  three  persosis,  who  appeared  to  be  brought  to  the  last  ex- 
 ercises of  a  preparatory  work,  and  reduced  almost  to  extremity  ; 
 being  in  a  great  measure  convinced  of  the  impossibility  of  their 
 helping  themselves,  or  of  mending  their  own  hearts  ;  and  seemed 
 to  be  upon  the  point  of  giving  up  all  hope  in  themselves,  and  of 
 venturing  upon  Christ,  as  poor,  helpless,  and  undone.  Yet  they 
 were  in  distress  and  anguish,  because  they  saw  no  safety  in  so  do- 
 ing, unless  they  could  do  something  towards  saving  themselves. 
 Oije  of  these  persons  was  the  very  aged  woman  above-mentioned, 
 who  now  appeared  ''weary  and  heavy  laden"  with  a  sense  of  her 
 sin  and  misery,  and  her  perishing  need  of  an  interest  in  Christ." 
 
 This  day  Braixerd  wrote  the  following  letter  to  his  brother 
 John  at  Yale  College  : — 
 
 "  Crossweeksung,  M  Jersei/,  Dec,  28,  1745, 
 "  Very  Dear  Brother, 
 
 "  I  am  in  one  continued,  perpetual,  and  uninterrupted  hurry; 
 and  divine  Providence  throws  so  much  upon  me,  that  I  do  not 
 see  how  it  will  ever  be  otherwise.  May  I  obtain  mercy  of  God 
 to  be  faithful  to  the  death  !"  I  cannot  say  that  I  am  weary  of  my 
 hurry.  1  only  want  strength  and  grace  to  do  more  for  God  than 
 I  have  ever  yet  done. 
 
 ''  My  dear  brother,  the  Lord  of  heaven,  v/ho  ha?  carried  me 
 through  many  trials,  bless  you  for  time  and  eternity,  and  fit  you 
 
 34 
 
vGG  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 io  do  service  for  him  in  his  Church  below,  and  to  enjoy  his  bliss- 
 ful presence  in  his  church  triumphant! 
 
 ''  My  dear  brother,  the  time  is  short.  O  let  us  fill  it  up  for 
 God  ;  let  us  couut  the  sufferings  of  this  present  time  as  nothing, 
 if  we  can  but  run  our  race,  and  finish  our  course  with  joy.  Oh 
 let  us  strive  to  live  for  God  !  I  bless  the  Lord,  I  have  nothing  to 
 do  with  earth,  but  only  to  labour  honestly  in  it  for  God.  till  I  shall 
 accomplish  ''  as  an  hireling  my  day."  I  think  J  do  not  desire  to 
 live  one  minute  for  any  thing  which  earth  can  afford.  Oh  that -I 
 could  live  for  none  but  God,  till  my  dying  moment! 
 "  I  am  your  aftectionate  brother, 
 
 "  DAVID  BRAINERD." 
 
 Lord-s  day,  Dec.  29.  "  Preached  from  John  iii.  1 — 5.  A 
 number  of  white  people  were  present,  as  is  usual  upon  the  Sab- 
 bath. The  discourse  was  accompanied  with  power,  and  seemed 
 to  have  a  silent,  but  deep  and  piercing  influence  upon  the  audi- 
 ence. Many  wept  and  sobbed  affectionately.  There  were  some 
 tears  amonsj  the  white  people,  as  well  as  the  Indians.  Some 
 could  not  refrain  from  crying  out  ;  though  there  were  not  many 
 so  exercised.  But  the  impressions  made  upon  their  hearts  ap- 
 peared chiefly  by  the  extraordinary  earnestness  of  their  attention, 
 and  thir  heavy  sighs  and  tears. 
 
 "  After  public  worship  was  over,  I  went  to  my  house,  proposing 
 to  preach  again  after  a  short  season  of  intermission.  But  they 
 soon  came  in,  one  after  another,  with  tears  in  their  eyes,  to  kno\T 
 "  what  they  should  do  to  be  saved.^^  The  divine  spirit  in  such  a 
 manner  set  home  upon  their  hearts  what  I  spake  to  them,  that 
 the  house  was  soon  filled  with  cries  and  groans.  They  all  flock- 
 ed together  upon  this  occasion  ;  and  those,  whom  I  had  reason  to 
 think  in  a  christless  state,  were  almost  universally  seized  with 
 concern  for  their  souls.  It  was  an  amazing  season  of  power 
 amo:^g  them  ;  and  seemed  as  if  God  had  bowed  the  heavens  and 
 comedown.  So  astonishingly  prevalent  was  the  operation  upon 
 old  as  well  as  young,  that  it  seemed  as  if  none  would  be  left  in  a 
 secure  and  natural  state,  but  that  God  was  now  about  to  convert 
 all  the  world.  1  was  ready  to  think,  then,  that  I  should  never 
 again  despair  of  the  conversion  of  any  man  or  woman  living,  be 
 they  who  or  what  they  would. 
 
 "  It  is  impossible  to  give  a  just  and  lively  description  of  the  ap- 
 pearance of  things  at  this  season  ;  at  least  such  as  to  convey  a 
 bright  and  adequate  idea  of  the  effects  of  this  influence.  A  num- 
 ber might  now  be  seen  rejoicing,  that  God  had  not  taken  away  the 
 powerful  influence  of  his  blessed  spirit  from  this  place  ;  refreshed 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  2G7 
 
 to  see  so  many  striving  to  enter  in  at  the  straight  gate  ;  and  ani- 
 mated with  such  concern  for  them,  that  they  wanted  to  push  them 
 forward,  as  some  of  them  expressed  it.  At  the  same  time  num- 
 bers both  of  men  and  women,  old  and  young,  mis^ht  be  seen  in  tears  ; 
 and  some  in  anguish  of  spirit  appearing  in  their  very  countenan- 
 ces, like  condemned  malefactors  bound  toward?  the  place  ol  exe- 
 cution, with  a  heavy  solicitude  sitting  in  their  faces  ;  so  that  ihere 
 seemed  here,  as  I  thought,  a  lively  emblem  of  the  solemn  day  of 
 account:  a  mixture  of  heaven  and  hell  ;  of  joy  and  anguish  inex- 
 pressible. 
 
 ''  The  concern  and  religious  affection  was  such,  that  I  could  not 
 pretend  to  have  any  formal  religious  exercise  among  them ;  but 
 spent  the  time  in  discoursing  to  one  and  another,  as  I  thought  most 
 proper  and  seasonable  for  each  ;  and  addressed  them  all  together  ; 
 and  finally  concluded  with  prayer.  Such  were  their  circumstan- 
 ces at  this  season,  that  I  could  scarcely  have  half  an  hour's  rest 
 from  speaking,  from  about  half  an  hour  before  twelve  o'clock,  at 
 which  time  I  began  public  worship,  till  after  seven  at  night.  There 
 appeared  to  be  four  or  five  persoiis  newly  awakened  this  day,  and 
 the  evening  before ;  some  of  whom  but  very  lately  came  among 
 us. 
 
 Dec,  30.  "Was  visited  by  four  or  five  young  persons,  under 
 concern  for  their  souls  ;  most  of  whom  were  lately  awakened. 
 They  wept  much  while  I  discoursed  with  them  ;  and  endeavoured 
 to  press  upon  them  the  necessity  of  flying  to  Christ  without  delay 
 for  salvation. 
 
 Dec.  31.  *' Spent  some  hours  this  day  in  visiting  my  people 
 from  house  to  house,  and  conversing  with  them  about  their  spiritu- 
 al concerns ;  endeavouring  to  press  upon  christless  souls  the  ne- 
 cessity of  renovation  of  heart;  and  scarce  left  a  house  without 
 leaving  some  or  othrr  of  its  inhabitants  in  tears,  appearing  solicit- 
 ously engaged  to  obtain  an  interest  in  Christ, 
 
 "  The  Indians  are  now  gathered  together  from  all  quarters  to 
 this  place,  and  have  built  them  little  cottages,  so  that  more  than 
 twenty  families  live  within  a  quarter  of  a  mile  of  me.  A  very  con- 
 venient situation  with  regard  both  to  public  and  private  instruc- 
 tion. 
 
 Jan,  1,  1746.  "  I  am  this  day  beginning  a  new  year,  and  God 
 has  carried  me  through  numerous  trials  and  labours  in  the  past. 
 He  has  amazingly  supported  my  feeble  frame  ;  for,  having  obtain- 
 ed help  of  God,  I  continue  to  this  day  O  that  I  might  live  nearer 
 to  God  this  .year  than  I  did  the  last !  The  business  to  which  I 
 have  been  called,  and  which  I  have  been  enabled  to  go  through,  I 
 know,  has  been  as  great  as  nature  could  bear  up  under,  and  what 
 
268  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 would  have  sunk  and  overcome  me  quite,  without  special  support. 
 But  alas,  alas!  though  I  have  done  the  labours  and  endured  the 
 trials  ;  with  what  spirit  have  I  done  the  one,  and  endured  the  oth- 
 er f  How  cold  has  been  the  frame  of  my  heart  offentimes  !  and 
 how  little  have  I  sensibly  eyed  the  glory  of  God  in  all  my  doings 
 and  sufferings  !  I  have  found  that  I  could  have  no  peace  without 
 filling  up  all  my  time  with  labour.  Thus  'necessity  has  been  laid 
 upon  me ;'  yea,  in  that  respttct,  I  have  loved  to  labour  ;  but  the 
 misery  is,  I  could  not  sensibly  labour  for  God,  as  I  would  have 
 done.  May  I  for  the  future  be  enabled  more  sensibly  to  make 
 the  glory  of  God  my  all. 
 
 "Spent  considerable  time  in  visiting  my  people  again.  Found 
 scarcely  one  but  what  was  under  some  serious  impressions  respec- 
 ting their  spiritual  concerns. 
 
 Jan.  2.  "Visited  some  persons  newly  come  among  us,  who 
 had  scarce  ever  heard  any  thing  of  Christianity  before,  except  the 
 empty  name.  Endeavoured  to  instruct  them,  particularly  in 
 -Hie  first  principles  of  religion,  in  the  most  easy  and  familiar 
 manner  1  could.  There  are  strangers  from  remote  parts,  almost 
 continually  dropping  in  among  us,  so  that  I  have  occasion  repeat- 
 edly to  open  and  inculcate  the  first  principles  of  Christianity. 
 
 Jan.  4.  "  Prosecuted  my  catechetical  method  of  instructing. 
 Found  my  people  able  to  answer  questions  with  propriety,  beyond 
 what  could  have  been  expected  from  persons  so  lately  brought 
 out  of  Heathenish  darkness.  In  the  improvement  of  my  dis- 
 course, there  appeared  some  concern  and  affection  in  the  assem- 
 bly: and  especially  in  those  of  whom  I  entertained  hopes  as  be- 
 ing truly  gracious,  at  least  several  of  them  were  much  affected 
 and  refreshed. 
 
 LonVs  day,  Jan.  5.  "Discoursed  from  Matt,  xii.  10 — 13.  There 
 appeared  not  so  much  liveliness  and  aficction  in  divine  service  as 
 usual.  The  same  truths  which  have  often  produced  many  tears 
 and  sobs  in  the  assembly,  seemed  now  to  have  no  special  influ- 
 ence upon  any  in  it.  Near  night,  I  proposed  to  have  proceeded 
 in  my  usual  method  of  catechising;  but  while  we  were  engaged 
 in  the  first  prayer,  the  power  of  God  seemed  to  descend  upon  the 
 assembly  in  such  a  remarkable  manner,  and  so  many  appeared  un- 
 der pressing  concern  for  their  souls  that  1  thought  it  much  more 
 expedient  to  insist  upon  the  plentiful  provision  made  by  divine 
 grace  for  the  redemption  of  perishing  sinner?-,  and  to  press  them 
 to  a  speedy  acceptance  of  the  great  salvation,  than  to  ask  them 
 questions  about  doctrinal  points.  What  was  most  practical,  seem- 
 ed most  seasonable  to  be  insisted  upon,  while  numbers  appeared 
 St)  extraordinarily  solicitous  to  obtain  an   interest  in  the  great  Re- 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAiNERD.  269 
 
 deemer.     Baptized  two  persons  this  day  :  one  adult,  the   woman 
 pariicLilarly  mentioned  in  my  Journal  ol  Dec.  22,  and  one  child. 
 
 "This  woman  has  discovered  a  very  sweet  and  heavenly  frame 
 of  mind  from  time  to  lime,  since  her  first  reception  of  comfort. 
 One  morning  in  particular,  she  came  to  see  me,  discovering  an 
 unusual  joy  and  satisfaction  in  her  countenance;  and  when  I  in- 
 quired into  the  reason  of  it,  she  replied,  *  that  God  had  made  her 
 feel  that  it  was  right  for  him  to  do  what  he  pleased  with  all  things; 
 and  that  it  would  be  right  if  he  should  cast  her  husband  and  son 
 both  into  hell;  and  she  saw  it  was  so  right  for  God  to  do  what  he 
 pleased  with  them,  that  she  could  not  but  rejoice  in  God  even  if 
 he  should  f-end  them  into  hell;'  though  it  was  apparent  she  loved 
 them  dearly.  She  moreover  enquired  whether  1  was  not  sent  to 
 preach  to  the  Indians  by  some  good  people  a  great  way  off.  I  re- 
 plied, 'Yes,  by  the  good  people  in  Scotland.'  She  answered, 
 'that  her  heart  loved  those  good  people  so  the  evening  before,  that 
 she  could  not  help  prajiog  for  them  all  night,  her  heart  would  go 
 to  God  for  them.'  Thus,  the  blessings  of  those  ready  to  perish, 
 is  like  to  come  upon  those  pious  persons,  who  have  communicated 
 of  their  substance  to  the  propagation  of  the  gospel. 
 
 Jan  6,  "Being  very  weak  in  body,  I  rode  for  my  health. 
 AVhile  riding,  my  thoughts  were  sweetly  engaged  for  a  time  upon 
 'the  Stone  cutout  of  the  mountain  without  hands,'  which  broke 
 in  pieces  all  before  it,  and  waxed  great  and  became  a  great  moun- 
 tain, and  filled  the  whole  earth:  and  I  longed  that  Jesus  should 
 lake  to  himself  his  great  power,  and  reign  to  the  ends  of  the  earth.' 
 O  how  sweet  were  the  moments,  wherein  I  felt  my  soul  warm  with 
 hopes  of  the  enlargement  of  the  Redeemer's  Kingdom  !  I  wanted 
 nothing  else,  but  that  Christ  should  reign  to  the  glory  of  his  bles- 
 sed name." 
 
 The  next  day  he  complains  of  want  of  fervency. 
 
 Jan,  8.  In  the  evening,  my  heart  was  drawn  out  after  God 
 in  secret ;  my  soul  was  refreshed  and  quickened,  and  I  trust  faith 
 was  in  exercise.  1  had  great  hopes  of  the  ingathering  of  pre- 
 cious souls  to  Christ,  not  only  among  my  own  people,  but  others 
 also.  I  was  sweetly  resigned  and  composed  under  my  bodily 
 weakness;  and  was  willing  to  live  or  die,  and  desirous  to  labour 
 for  God  to  the  utmost  of  my  strength. 
 
 Jan.  9.  "  Was  still  very  weak,  and  exercised  with  vapoury 
 disorders.  In  the  evening,  enjoyed  some  enlargement  and  spir- 
 ituality in  prayer.  Oh  that  1  could  always  spend  my  time 
 profitably  both  in  health  and  weakness. 
 
270  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINEKD. 
 
 Jan.  1 0.  '•  My  soul  was  in  a  sweet,  calm,  and  composed  frame, 
 and  my  heart  filled  with  love  to  all  the  world  ;  and  christian 
 simplicity  and  tenderness,  seemed  then  to  prevail  and  reign  with- 
 in me.  Near  nig'ht  visited  a  serious  Baptist  minister,  and  had 
 some  agreeable  conversation  v/ith  him,  aiid  found  that  I  could 
 love  Christ  in  his  friends. 
 
 Jan,  11.  "Discoursed  in  a  catechetical  method,  as  usual,  of 
 late.  Having  opened  our  first  parents'  primitive  apostacy  from 
 God,  and  our  fall  in  iiim;  I  proceeded  to  apply  my  discourse  by 
 shewing  the  necessity  we  stood  in  of  an  Almighty  Redeemer,  and 
 the  absolute  need  every  sinner  has  of  an  interest  in  his  merits 
 and  mediation.  There  was  some  tenderness  and  affectionate 
 Concern  apparent  in  the  assembly. 
 
 LorcPs  day,  Jan.  12.  "Preached  from  Isaiah  Iv.  6.  The  word 
 of  God  seemed  to  fall  upon  the  audience  with  a  divine  weight 
 and  influence,  and  evidently  appeared  to  be 'not  the  word  of 
 man.'  The  blessed  Spirit  1  am  persuaded  accompanied  what 
 was  spoken,  to  the  hearts  of  many  ;  so  that  there  was  a  power- 
 ful revival  of  conviction  in  numbers  w^ho  were  under  spiritual 
 exercise  before. 
 
 "  Toward  night,  catechised  in  my  usual  method.  Near  the 
 close  of  my  discourse,  there  appeared  a  great  concern,  and  much 
 affection  in  the  audience;  which  increased  while  1  continued  to 
 invite  them  to  come  to^i^  all-sufficient  Redeemer,  for  eternal 
 salvation.  The  spirit  of  God  seems,  from  time  to  time  to  be 
 striving  with  souls  here.  They  are  so  frequently  and  repeated- 
 ly roused,  that  they  seem  unable  at  present,  to  lull  themselves 
 asleep. 
 
 Jan.  13.  "  T'Vas  visited  by  several  persons  under  deep  concern 
 for  their  souls  ;  one  of  whom  was  newly  awakened.  It  is  a  most 
 agreeable  work  to  treat  with  souls  who  are  solicitously  inquiring, 
 '  what  they  shall  do  to  be  saved.'  As  we  are  never  to  be  'weary 
 in  well  doing,'  so  the  obligation  seems  to  be  peculiarly  strong 
 when  the  work  is  so  very  desirable.  Yet  1  must  say,  my  health 
 is  so  much  impaired,  and  my  spirits  so  wasted  with  my  labours  and 
 solitary  manner  of  living  ;  there  being  no  human  creature  in  the 
 house  with  me  ;  that  their  rej)eated  and  almost  incessant  appli- 
 cations to  me  for  help  and  direction,  are  sometimes  exceedingly 
 burdensome  ;  and  so  exhaust  my  spirits,  that  I  become  fit  for  no- 
 thing at  all,  entirely  unable  to  prosecute  my  business,  sometimes 
 for  clays  together.  What  contributes  much  towards  this  difficulty 
 is,  that  I  am  obliged  to  spend  much  time  in  communicatiug  a  lit- 
 tle matter  to  them:  there  being  oftentimes  many  things  to  be 
 premised  betore  I   can  speak  directly  to  what  I   principally  aim 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  271 
 
 at;  which  things  would  readily  he  taken  for  granted,  where  there 
 was  a  competency  of  doctrinal  knowledge. 
 
 Jan.  14.  "  Spent  some  time  in  private  conference  with  my 
 people,  and  found  some  'disposed  to  take  comfort  as  I  thou^^ht  upon 
 slight  grounds.  They  are  now  generally  awakened,  and  it  is  be- 
 come so  disgraceful,  as  well  as  terrifying  to  the  conscience,  to  be 
 destitute  of  religion,  that  they  are  in  imminent  danger  of  taking 
 up  with  an  appearance  of  grace,  rather  than  to  live  under  the 
 fear  and  disgrace  of  an  unregenerated  state. 
 
 Jan,  15.  *'  My  spirits  were  very  low  and  flat,  and  I  could  not 
 but  think  I  was  a  burden  to  God's  earth  ;  and  could  scarcely 
 look  any  body  in  the  face  through  shame  and  sense  of  barrenness. 
 God  pity  a  poor  unprofitable  creature." 
 
 The  two  next  days  he  had  some  comfort  and  refreshment. 
 
 Jan,  18.  "  Prosecuted  my  catechetical  method  of  discoursing. 
 There  appeared  a  great  solemnity,  and  some  considerable  affec- 
 tion in  the  assembly.  This  method  of  instruction  I  find  wery 
 profitable.  When  \  first  entered  upon  it  I  was  exercised  with 
 fears,  lest  my  discourses  would  unavoidably  be  so  doctrinal,  that 
 they  would  tend  only  to  enlighten  the  head,  but  not  to  aff-ct  the 
 heart.  But  the  event  proved  quite  otherwise  ;  for  these  exerci- 
 ses have  hitherto  been  remarkably  blessed  in  the  latter,  as  well 
 as  the  former  respects. 
 
 Lord^s  day^  Jan.  19.  "Discoursed  to  my  people  from  Isaiah 
 Iv.  7.  Toward  night  catechised  in  my  ordinary  method ;  and  this 
 appeared  to  be  a  powerful  season  of  grace  amona;  us.  Numbers 
 were  much  affected.  Convictions  were  powerfully  revived,  and 
 divers  numbers  of  christians  refreshed  and  strengthened  ;  and 
 one  weary,  heavy  laden  soul,  I  have  abundant  reason  to  hope, 
 brought  to  true  rest  and  solid  comfort  in  Christ;  who  afterwards 
 gave  me  such  an  account  of  God's  dealing  with  his  soul,  as  was 
 abundantly  satisfying,  as  well  as  refreshing  to  me. 
 
 "He  told  me  he  had  often  heard  me  say  that  persons  must  see 
 and  feel  themselves  utterly  helpless  and  undone — that  they  must 
 be  emptied  of  a  dependence  upon  themselves  and  of  all  hope 
 of  saving  themselves,  in  order  to  their  coming  to  Christ  for  salva- 
 tion. He  had  long  been  striving  after  this  view  of  things  ;  suppo- 
 sing that  this  would  be  an  excellent  frame  of  mind,  to  be  thus 
 emptied  of  a  dependence  upon  his  own  goodness :  that  God 
 would  have  respect  to  this  frame,  would  then  be  well  pleased  with 
 him,  and  bestow  eternal  life  upon  him.  But  when  he  came  to 
 feel  himself  in  this  helpless,  undone  condition,  he  found  it  quite 
 contrary  to  all  his  thoughts  and  expectations;  so  that  it  was  not 
 
272  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 the  same  frame,  nor  indeed  any  thing;  like  the  frame  after  which 
 he  had  been  seeking.  Instead  of  its  being  a  good  frame  of  mind, 
 he  now  found  nothing  but  badness  in  himself,  and  saw  it  was  for- 
 ever impossible  for  him  to  make  himself  any  better.  He  wonder- 
 ed, he  said,  that  he  had  ever  hoped  to  mend  his  own  heart.  He 
 was  amazed  that  he  had  never  before  seen,  that  it  was  utterly  im- 
 possible for  him  by  ail  his  contrivances  and  endeavours,  to  do  any 
 thing  in  that  way,  since  the  matter  now  appeared  to  him  in  so 
 clear  a  light.  Instead  of  imagining,  now  that  God  would  be 
 pleased  with  him  for  the  sake  of  this  frame  of  mind,  and  this  view 
 of  his  undone  estate,  he  saw  clearly,  and  felt  that  it  would  be  just 
 with  God  to  send  him  to  eternal  misery;  and  that  there  was  no 
 goodness  in  what  he  then  felt ;  for  he  could  not  help  seeing  that 
 he  was  naked,  sinful,  and  miserable,  and  that  there  was  nothing  in 
 such  a  sight  to  deserve  God's  love  or  pity. 
 
 *'  He  saw  these  things  in  a  manner  so  clear  and  convincing, 
 that  it  seemed  to  him  he  said,  he  could  convince  every  body  of 
 their  utter  inability  to  help  themselves,  and  their  unworthiness  of 
 any  help  from  God.  In  this  frame  of  mind  he  came  to  public 
 worship  this  evening  ;  and  while  I  was  inviting  sinners  to  come  to 
 Christ  naked  and  empty,  without  any  goodness  of  their  own  to 
 recommend  them  to  his  acceptance,  then  he  thought  with  himself 
 that  he  had  often  tried  to  come  and  give  up  his  heart  to  Christ, 
 and  he  used  to  hope  that  some  time  or  other  he  should  be  able 
 to  do  so.  But  now  he  was  convinced  that  he  could  not,  and  that 
 it  was  utterly  vain  for  him  ever  to  try  any  more  ;  and  he  could  not, 
 he  said,  find  a  heart  to  make  any  further  attempt,  because  he  saw 
 it  would  signify  notliing  at  all ;  nor  did  he  now  hope  for  a  better 
 opportunity  or  more  ability  hereafter,  as  he  had  formerly  done, 
 because  he  saw  and  was  fully  convinced  that  his  own  strength 
 would  forever  fail. 
 
 While  he  was  musing  in  this  manner,  he  saw,  he  said,  with  his 
 heart,  which  is  a  common  phrase  among  them,  something  that 
 was  unspeakably  good  and  lovely,  and  what  he  had  never  seen 
 before  ;  and  "this  stole  away  his  heart  whether  he  would  or  no." 
 He  did  not,  he  said,  know  what  it  was  that  he  saw.  He  did  not 
 say  *Hhis  is  Jesus  Christ ;"  but  it  was  such  glory  and  beauty  as  he 
 never  saw  before.  He  did  not  now  give  away  his  heart,  as  he 
 had  formerly  intended  and  attempted  to  do  ;  but  it  went  away  of 
 itself  aher  that  glory  which  he  then  discovered.  He  used  to  make 
 a  bargain  with  Christ  to  give  up  his  heart  to  him  that  he  might 
 have  eternal  life  for  it.  But  now  he  thought  nothing  about  himself 
 or  what  would  become  of  him  hereafter  ;  but  was  pleased,  and 
 his  mind   wholly    taken    up  with   the   unspeakable  excellency  of 
 
t 
 
 MMbiRS  OF  BRAINERD.  273 
 
 what  he  then  beheld.  After  some  time  he  was  wonderfully  pleas- 
 ed with  the  way  of  salvation  by  Christ ;  so  that  it  seemed  un- 
 speakably better  to  be  saved  altogether  by  the  mere  free  grace  of 
 God  in  Christ,  than  to  have  any  hand  in  saving  himself.  The 
 consequence  of  this  exercise  is,  that  he  appears  to  retain  a  sense 
 and  relish  of  divine  things,  and  to  maintain  a  life  of  seriousness 
 and  true  religion." 
 
 The  next  day  Brainerd  set  out  on  a  journey  to  Elizabeth 
 Town,  to  confer  with  the  Correspondents  at  their  meeting  there; 
 and  enjoyed  much  spiritual  refreshment  from  day  to  day.  through 
 this  week.  The  things  expressed  in  this  space  of  time  are  such 
 as  these  ;  serenity,  composure,  sweetness  and  tenderness  of  soul; 
 thanksgiving  to  God  for  his  success  among  the  Indians  ;  delight 
 in  prayer  and  praise  ;  sweet  and  profitable  meditations  on  various 
 divine  subjects  ;  longing  for  more  love,  for  more  vigour  to  live  to 
 God,  for  a  life  more  entirely  devoted  to  him,  that  he  might  spend 
 all  his  time  profitably  for  God  and  his  cause;  conversing  on  spir- 
 itual subjects  with  affection  ;  and  lamentation  for  unprofitable- 
 ness. 
 
 Lord's  day,  Ja7i.  ^Q,  [At  Connecticut  Farms.]  "Was  calm 
 and  composed.  Was  made  sensible  of  utter  inability  to  preach 
 without  divine  help  ;  and  was  in  some  good  measure  willing  to 
 leave  it  with  God,  to  give  or  withhold  assistance,  as  he  saw 
 would  be  most  for  his  own  glory.  Was  favoured  with  a  consid- 
 erable degree  of  assistance  in  my  public  work.  After  public 
 worship,  I  was  in  a  sweet  and  solemn  frame  of  mind,  thankful  to 
 God  that  he  had  made  me  in  some  measure  faithful  in  addressing 
 precious  souls,  but  grieved  that  I  had  been  no  more  fervent  in 
 my  work;  and  was  tenderly  affected  towards  all  the  world,  long- 
 ing that  every  sinner  might  be  saved  ;  and  could  not  have  enter- 
 tained any  bitterness  tovvards  the  worst  enemy  living.  In  the 
 evening,  rode  to  Elizabeth  Town  ;  and  while  riding,  was  almost 
 constantly  engaged  in  lifting  up  my  heart  to  God,  lest  I  should 
 lose  that  sweet,  heavenly  solemnity  and  composure  of  soul  which 
 I  then  enjoyed.  Afterwards  was  pleased  to  think  that  God 
 reigneth ;  and  thought  I  could  never  be  uneasy  with  any  of  his 
 dispensations,  but  must  be  entirely  satisfied,  whatever  trials  he 
 should  cause  me  in  his  church  to  encounter.  Never  felt  morese- 
 dateness,  divine  serenity  and  composure  of  mind;  could  freely 
 have  left  the  dearest  earthly  friend  for  the  society  of  angels  and 
 spirits  of  just  men  made  perfect :  my  affections  soared  aloft  to  the 
 blessed  Author  of  every  dear  enjoyment.  1  viewed  the  empti- 
 ness and  unsatisfactory  nature  of  the   most  desirable  earthly  oh- 
 
 35 
 
274  xME3I0IRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 jects,  any  further  than  God  is  seen  in  them,  and  longed  for  a  hfe 
 of  spirituahty  and  inward  purity ;  without  which  1  saw  there 
 could  he  no  true  pleasure. 
 
 -.i^  ^^Crossweeksung,  Jan.  1746. 
 
 Jan.  28th.  "  The  Indians  in  these  parts  have,  in  times  past, 
 run  themselves  in  debt,  by  their  excessive  drinking;  and  some 
 have  taken  the  advantage  of  them,  and  put  them  to  trouble  and 
 charge,  by  arresting  sundry  of  them  ;  whereby  it  was  supposed 
 their  hunting  lands,  in  great  part,  were  much  endangered,  and 
 might  speedily  be  taken  from  them.  Being  sensible  that  they, 
 could  not  subsist  together  in  these  parts,  in  order  to  their  being  a 
 Christian  congregation,  if  these  lands  should  be  taken,  which 
 was  thought  very  likely;  I  thought  it  my  duty  to  use  my  utmost 
 endeavours  to  prevent  so  unhappy  an  event.  Having  acquainted 
 the  gentlemen  concerned  in  this  mission  with  the  affair,  according 
 to  the  best  information  I  could  get  of  it,  they  thought  it  proper 
 to  expend  the  money,  which  they  had  been  and  still  were  collect- 
 ing for  the  religious  interest  of  the  Indians,  at  least  a  part  of  it, 
 for  discharging  their  debts,  and  securing  these  lands,  that  there 
 might  be  no  entanglement  lying  upon  them  to  hinder  the  settle- 
 ment and  hopeful  enlargement  of  a  Christian  congregation  of  In- 
 dians in  these  parts.  Having  received  orders  from  them,  I  an- 
 swered, in  behalf  of  the  Indians,  eghty-two  pounds,  Jive  shillings^ 
 N.  Jersey  currency,  at  eight  shillings  per  ounce;  and  so  prevented 
 the  danger  of  difficulty  in  this  respect. 
 
 "As  God  has  wrought  a  wonderful  work  of  grace  among  these 
 Indians,  and  now  inclines  others  from  remote  places  to  fall  in 
 among  them  almost  continually ;  and  as  he  has  opened  a  door  for 
 the  prevention  of  the  difficulty  now  mentioned  which  seemed 
 greatly  to  threaten  their  religious  interests  as  well  as  worldly  com- 
 forts ;  it  is  to  be  hoped  that  he  designs  to  establish  a  church 
 for  himself  among  them,  and  hand  down  true  religion  to  their 
 posterity. 
 
 Jan.  30.  "Preached  to  the  Indians  from  John  3.  16,  17. 
 There  was  a  solemn  attention  and  some  affection  visible  in  the 
 audience  ;  especially  several  persons,  who  had  long  been  con- 
 cerned for  their  souls,  seemed  afresh  excited  and  engaged  in 
 seeking  after  an  interest  in  Christ.  One,  with  much  concern, 
 afterwards  told  me  "  his  heart  was  so  pricked  with  my  preaching 
 he  knew  not  where  to  turn  or  what  to  do." 
 
 Jan.  31.  "  This  day,  the  person  whom  I  had  made  choice  of 
 and  engaged  for  a  school  master  among  the  Indians,  arrived 
 among  us,  and  was  heartily  welcomed  by  my  people  universally. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  275 
 
 Whereupon  I    distributed  several  dozen  of  primers  among  the 
 children. 
 
 Feb,  1.  "  My  schoolmaster  entered  upon  his  business  among 
 the  h)dians.  He  has  generally  about  thirty  children  and  young 
 persons  in  his  school  in  the  day  time,  and  about  tifteen  married 
 people  in  the  evening  school.  The  number  of  the  latter  sort  of 
 persons  being  less  than  it  would  be  if  they  could  be  more  con- 
 stantly' at  home,  and  could  spare  time  from  their  necessary  em- 
 ployments for  an  attendance  upon  these  instructions. 
 
 '•Towards  night  enjoyed  some  of  the  clearest  thoughts  on  a 
 divine  subject,  viz.  that  treated  of  1  Cor.  15.  13 — 16.  But  if 
 there  he  no  resurrection  of  the  dead,  Sic,  which  I  ever  remember 
 to  have  had  upon  any  subject  whatsoever  ;  and  spent  two  or  three 
 hours  in  writing  them.  I  was  refreshed  with  this  intenseness  ; 
 my  mind  was  so  engaged  in  these  meditations  I  could  scarcely 
 turn  it  to  any  thing  else,  and  indeed  1  could  not  be  willing  to  part 
 with  so  sweet  an  entertainment. 
 
 "In  the  evening  chatechised  in  my  usual  method.  Towards 
 the  close  of  my  discourse,  a  surprising  power  seemed  to  attend 
 the  word,  especially  to  some  persons.  One  man  considerably  in 
 years,  who  had  been  a  remarkable  drunkard,  a  conjurer  and  mur- 
 derer, and  was  awakened  some  months  before,  was  now  brought 
 to  great  extremity  under  his  spiritual  distress;  so  that  he  trembled 
 for  !>ours  together,  and  apprehended  himself  just  dropping  into 
 hell,  without  any  power  to  rescue  or  relieve  himself.  Divers  oth- 
 ers appeared  under  great  concern,  as  well  as  he,  and  solicitous  to 
 obtain  a  saving  change. 
 
 Lord's  day,  Feb.  2.  "Preached  from.  John  5th,  24,  25.  There 
 appeared,  as  usual,  some  concern  and  affection  in  the  assembly. 
 Towards  night  proceeded  in  my  usual  method  of  chatechising. 
 Observed  my  people  more  ready  in  answering  the  questions  pro- 
 posed to  them  than  ever  before.  It  is  apparent  they  advance 
 daily  in  doctrinal  knowledge.  But  what  is  still  more  desirable, 
 the  Spirit  of  God  is  yet  operating  among  them;  whereby  exper- 
 imental as  well  as  speculative  knowledge  is  propagated  in  their 
 minds. 
 
 "After  public  worship  my  bodily  strength  being  much  spent, 
 my  spirits  sunk  amazingly  ;  and  especially  on  hearing  that  1  was 
 generally  taken  to  be  a  Roman  Catholic,  sent  by  the  Papists  to 
 draw  the  Indians  into  an  insurrection  against  the  English ;  that 
 some  were  in  fear  of  me,  and  others  were  for  having  me  taken  up 
 by  authority  and  punished.  Alas,  what  will  not  the  devil  do  to 
 bring  a  slur  and  disgrace  on  the  work  of  God  !  O,  how  holy  and 
 circumspect  had  I  need  to  be  !     Through  divine  goodness  I  have 
 
276  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 been  enabled  to  mind  my  own  business  in  these  parts  as  well  as 
 elsewhere  ;  and  to  let  all  men,  and  all  denominations  of  men, 
 alone,  as  to  their  party  notions ;  and  only  preached  the  plain  and 
 necessary  truths  of  Christianity,  neither  inviting  to,  nor  excluding 
 from,  any  meeting,  any  of  any  sort  or  persuasion  whatsoever. 
 Towards  night,  the  Lord  gave  me  freedom  at  the  throne  of  grace 
 in  my  first  prayer  before  my  chatechetical  lecture:  and,  in  opening 
 the  45th  Psalm  to  my  people,  my  soul  confided  in  God;  although 
 the  wricked  world  should  slander  and  persecute  me,  or  even  con- 
 demn and  execute  me  as  a  traitor  to  my  king  and  country.  Truly, 
 *'  God  is  a  pres^mt  help  in  time  of  trouble."  In  the  evening  my 
 soul  was  in  some  measure  comforted,  having  some  hope  that  one 
 poor  soul  was  brought  home  to  God  this  day  ;  though  the  case  did 
 by  no  means  appear  clear.  Oh  that  I  could  fill  up  every  moment 
 of  time,  during  my  abode  here  below,  in  the  service  of  my  God 
 and  King. 
 
 Feb.  3.  "My  spirits  were  still  much  sunk  with  what  I  heard 
 the  day  before,  of  my  being  suspected  to  be  engaged  in  the  Pre- 
 tender's interest.  It  grieved  me,  that,  after  there  had  been  so 
 much  evidence  of  a  glorious  work  of  grace  among  these  poor  In- 
 dians, as  that  the  most  carnal  men  could  not  but  take  notice  of  the 
 great  change  made  among  them,  so  many  poor  souls  should  still 
 suspect  the,whole  to  he  only  a  Popish  plot,  and  so  cast  an  awful 
 reproach  oti  this  blessed  work  of  the  divine  Spirit,  and  at  the  same 
 time  wholly  exclude  themselves  from  receiving  any  benefit  by  this 
 divine  influence.  This  put  me  upon  searching  whether  I  had  ever 
 dropped  any  thing  inadvertently,  which  might  give  occasion  to 
 any  to  suspect  that  I  was  stirring  up  the  Indians  against  the  Eng- 
 lish ;  and  could  think  of  nothing  unless  it  was  my  attempting 
 sometimes  to  vindicate  the  rignts  of  the  Indians,  and  complaining 
 of  the  horrid  practice  of  making  the  Indians  drunk  and  then 
 cheating  them  out  of  their  lands  and  other  property.  Once  I  re- 
 membered I  had  done  this  with  too  much  warmth  of  spirit,  which 
 much  distressed  me;  thinking  that  it  might  possibly  prejudice 
 them  against  this  work  of  grace  to  their  everlasting  destruction, 
 God,  I  believe,  did  me  good  by  this  trial,  which  served  to  hum- 
 ble me,  and  shew  me  the  necessity  of  watchfulness  and  of  being 
 wise  as  a  serpent  as  well  as  harmless  as  a  dove.  This  exercise 
 led  me  to  a  throne  of  grace,  and  there  I  found  some  support  : 
 though  I  could  not  get  the  burden  wholly  removed.  Was  assisted 
 in  prayer,  especially  in  the  evening." 
 
 He  remained  still  under  a  degree  of  anxiety  about  this  affair, 
 which  continued  to  have  the  same  effect  upon   him  to  cause  him 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  277 
 
 10  reflect  upon  and  humble  himself,  and  frequent  the  throne  of 
 grace;  but  soon  found  himself  much  more  relieved  and  supported. 
 He  was  thib  week  in  an  extremely  weak  state,  and  obliged,  as  he 
 expresses  it,  "  to  consume  considerable  time  in  diversions  for  his 
 health." 
 
 Feh^  5.  "  Discoursed  to  a  considerable  number  of  the  Indians 
 in  the  evening;  at  wl)ich  time  numbers  of  them  appeared  timch 
 affected  and  melted  with  divine  things. 
 
 Feb.  8.  "  Spent  a  considerable  part  of  the  day  in  visiting  my 
 people  from  house  to  house,  and  conversing  with  them  about  their 
 soul's  concerns.  Divers  persons  wept,  while.  I  discoursed  to 
 them,  and  appeared  concerned  for  nothing  so  much  as  for  an  inter- 
 est in  the  great  Redeemer.  In  the  evening  catechised  as  usual. 
 Divine  truths  made  some  impressions  upon  the  audience;  and 
 were  attended  with  an  affectionate  engagement  of  soul  in  some. 
 
 Lo'd\s  day,  Feb.  9.  "  Discoursed  to  my  people  from  the 
 story  of  the  blind  man.  Matt.  x.  46 — 52.  The  word  of  God 
 seemed  weighty,  and  powerful  upon  the  assembly  at  this  time, 
 and  made  considerable  impressions  upon  many  ;  several  in  par- 
 ticular, who  have  generally  been  remarkably  stupid  and  car-  1-ss 
 under  the  means  of  grace,  w^ere  now  awak'  nod,  and  wept  affec- 
 tionately. The  most  earnest  attention,  as  well  as  tendcrn-wss  and 
 affection,  appeared  in  the  audience  universally. 
 
 "Baptized  three  persons;  two  adults,  and  one  child.  The 
 adults,  I  have  reason  to  hope,  were  both  truly  pious.  There  was 
 considerable  melting  in  the  assembly,  whi'e  I  was  discoursing  par- 
 ticularly to  the  persons,  and  administering  the  ordinance.  God 
 has  been  pleased  to  own  and  bless  the  administration  of  this  as 
 well  as  of  his  other  ordinances  among  the  Indians.  There  are 
 some  here,  who  have  been  powerfully  awakened  at  seeing  others 
 baptized  ;  and  some,  who  have  obtained  relief  and  comfort,  just  in 
 the  season  when  this  ordinance  has  been  administered. 
 
 "Toward  night  catechised.  God  made  this  a  powerful  season 
 to  some.  There  were  many  affected.  Former  convictions  appear- 
 ed to  be  powerfully  revived.  Th£re  was  likewise  one,  who  had 
 been  a  vile  drunkard,  remarkably  awakened.  He  appeared  to  be 
 in  great  anguish  of  soul,  wept,  and  trembled,  and  continued  to  do 
 so  till  near  midnight.  There  was  also  a  poor  heavy-laden  soul, 
 who  had  been  long  under  spiritual  distress,  as  constant  and  press- 
 ing as  I  ever  saw,  who  was  now  brought  to  a  comfortable  calm, 
 and  seemed  to  be  bowed  and  reconciled  to  the  divine  sovereignty, 
 and  told  me,  she  now  felt  and  saw,  that  it  was  right  for  God  to  do 
 with  her  as  he  pleased  ;  and  that  her  heart  felt  pleased  and  satis- 
 
278  MEMOlRb  OF  BKAINERD. 
 
 fied  it  should  be  so ;  although  of  late  she  had  often  found  her 
 heart  rise  and  quarrel  with  God,  because  he  would,  if  he  pleased^ 
 send  her  to  hell  after  all  she  had  done,  or  could  do  to  save  herself. 
 She  added,  that  the  heavy  burden  she  iiad  lain  under  was  now  re- 
 moved ;  that  she  had  tried  to  recover  her  concern  and  distress 
 again,  fearing  that  the  spirit  of  God  was  departing  from  her,  and 
 would  leave  her  w-Jiolly  careless,  but  that  she  could  not  recover  it; 
 that  she  felt  she  never  could  do  any  thing  to  save  herself,  but  must 
 perish  for  ever  if  Christ  did  not  do  all  for  her;  that  she  did  not  de- 
 serve he  should  help  her ;  and  that  it  would  be  right  if  he  should 
 leave  her  to  perish.  But  Christ  would  save  her  though  she  could 
 do  nothing  to  save  herself,  &ic.  and  here  she  seemed  to  rest." 
 
 The  Monday  after,  he  set  out  on  a  journey  to  the  Forks  of 
 Delaware  to  visit  the  Indians  there.  He  performed  the  journey 
 under  great  weakness,  and  was  sometimes  exercised  with  much 
 pain;  but  says  nothing  of  his  dejection  and  melancholy.  He  ar- 
 rived at  his  own  house,  at  the  Forks,  on  Friday.  During  the 
 week  he  appears  from  his  Diary  to  have  enjoyed  a  sweet  compo- 
 sure of  mind,  thankfuh^ess  to  God  for  his  mercies  to  him  and  oth- 
 ers, resignation  to  the  divine  will,  and  comfort  in  prayer  and  reli- 
 gious conversation.  At  the  same  time  his  heart  was  drawn  out  af- 
 ter God  and  affected  with  a  sense  of  his  own  barrenness,  as  well 
 as  with  the  fulness  and  freeness  of  divine  grace. 
 
 "  Forks  of  Delaware,  February,  1746. 
 
 Lordh  Day,  February  16.  "Knowing  that  numbers  of  the  In- 
 dians in  these  parts  were  obstinately  set  against  Christianity  ;  and 
 that  some  of  them  had  refused  to  hear  me  preach  in  times  past;  I 
 thought  it  might  be  proper  and  beneficial  to  the  Christian  inter- 
 est, here,  to  have  a  number  of  my  religious  people  from  Cross- 
 weeksunii  with  me,  to  converse  with  them  about  religious  mat- 
 ters;  hoping  it  might  be  a  means  to  convince  them  of  the  truth 
 and  importance  of  Christianity,  to  see  and  hear  some  of  their  own 
 nation  discoursing  of  divine  things,  and  manifesting  earnest  desires 
 that  others  might  be  brought  out  of  heathenish  darkness,  as  them- 
 selves were.  For  this  purpose  I  selected  half  a  dozen  of  the  most 
 serious  and  intelligent  of  those  Indians,  and  having  brought  them  to 
 the  Forks  of  Delaware,  I  this  day  met  with  them  and  the  Indians 
 of  this  place.  Numbers  of  the  latter  probably  could  not  have 
 been  prevailed  upon  to  attend  this  meeting,  had  it  not  been  for 
 these  religious  Indians,  who  accompanied  me  hither,  and  preached 
 to  them.     Some  of  those  who  had  in  times  past  been  extremely 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  279 
 
 averse  to  Christianity,  now  behaved  soberly;  and  some  others 
 laughed  and  mocked.  However,  the  word  of  God  fell  with  such 
 weight  and  power,  that  numbers  seemed  to  be  stunned,  and  ex- 
 pressed a  wilhngness  to  hear  me  again  of  these  matters. 
 
 ''  Afterwards  prayed  with,  and  made  an  address  to  the  white 
 people  present;  and  could  not  but  observe  some  visible  effects  of 
 the  word,  such  as  tears  and  sobs  among  them.  After  public  wor- 
 ship, spent  some  time,  and  took  pains  to  convince  those  that 
 mocked,  of  the  truth  and  importance  of  what  I  had  been  insisting 
 upon  ;  and  so  endeavored  to  awaken  their  attention  to  divine 
 truths.  Had  reason  to  think,  from  what  I  observed  then  and  after- 
 wards, that  my  endeavours  took  considerable  effect  upon  one  of 
 the  worst  of  them. 
 
 "  Those  few  Indians  then  present,  who  used  to  be  my  hearers 
 in  these  parts;  some  having  removed  hence  to  Crossweeksung; 
 seemed  somewhat  kindly  disposed  toward  me,  and  glad  to  see  me 
 again.  They  had  been  so  much  attacked,  however,  by  some  of 
 the  opposing  Pagans,  that  they  were  almost  ashamed  or  afraid  to 
 manifest  their  friendship. 
 
 Feb.  17.  *' After  having  spent  much  time  in  discoursing  to  the 
 Indians  in  their  respective  houses,  I  got  them  together  and  repeated 
 and  inculcated  whati  had  before  taught  them.  Afterwards  discoursed 
 to  them  from  Acts  viii.  5 — 8.  A  divine  influence  seemed  to  attend 
 the  word.  Several  of  the  Indians  here  appeared  to  be  somewhat 
 awakened,  and  manifested  eariiest  tears  and  sobs.  My  people  of 
 Crossweeksung  continued  with  them  day  and  night  repeating  and 
 inculcating  the  truths  I  had  taught  them  ;  and  sometimes  prayed 
 and  sung  psalms  among  them  ;  discoursing  with  each  other  in 
 their  hearing,  of  the  great  things  God  had  done  for  them  and  for 
 the  Indians  from  whence  they  came.  This  seemed,  as  my  peo- 
 ple told  me,  to  have  more  effect  upon  them,  than  when  they  di- 
 rected their  discourse  immediately  to  them. — I  was  refreshed  and 
 encouraged,  and  found  a  spirit  of  prayer  in  the  evening,  and  ear- 
 nest longings  for  the  illumination  and  conversion  of  these  poor  In- 
 dians. 
 
 Feb,  18.  "Preached  to  an  assembly  of  Irish  people,  nearly 
 fifieen  miles  distant  from  the  Indians. 
 
 Feb.  19.  «'  Preached  to  the  Indians  again,  after  having  spent 
 considerable  time  in  conversing  with  tliem  more  privately.  There 
 appeared  a  great  solemnity,  and  some  concern  and  affection  among 
 the  Indians  belonging  to  these  parts,  as  well  as  a  sweet  melting 
 among  those  who  came  wiih  me.  Numbers  of  the  Indians  here 
 seemed  to  have  their  prejudices  and  aversion  to  Christianity  re- 
 moved;   and  appeared  well   disposed  and  inclined  to   hear  the 
 
280  MEMOlllS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 word  of  God.  My  heart  was  comforted  and  refreshed,  and 
 my  soul  filled  with  longings  for  the  conversion  of  these  poor  In- 
 dians. 
 
 Feb.  20.  "  Preached  to  a  small  assembly  of  High  Dutch  peo- 
 ple, who  had  seldom  heard  the  gospel  preached,  and  were  some  of 
 them  at  least  very  ignorant;  but  numbers  of  them  have  lately  been 
 put  upon  an  inquiry  after  the  way  of  salvation  with  thoughtfulness. 
 They  gave  wonderful  attention;  and  some  of  them  were  much  af- 
 fected under  the  word,  and  afterwards  said,  as  I  was  informed,  that 
 they  never  had  been  so  much  enhghtened  about  the  way  of  salva- 
 tion in  their  whole  lives  before.  They  requested  me  to  tarry  with 
 them,  or  come  again  and  preach  to  them.  It  grieved  me  that  I 
 could  not  comply  with  their  request.  I  could  not  but  be  affected 
 with  their  circumstances ;  for  they  w^ere  as  "  sheep  not  having  a 
 shepherd,"  and  some  of  them  appeared  under  some  degree  of  dis- 
 tress for  sin  ;  standing  in  peculiar  need  of  the  assistance  of  an  ex- 
 perienced spiritual  guide 
 
 "  God  Wris  pleased  to  support  and  refresh  my  spirits,  by  afford- 
 ing me  assistance  this  day,  and  so  hopeful  a  prospect  of  success.  I 
 returned  home  rejoicing,  and  blessing  the  name  of  the  Lord  ;  found 
 freedom  and  sweetness  afterward  in  st^cret  prayer,  and  had  my 
 soul  drawn  ont  for  dear  friends.  Oh  how  blessed  a  thing  it  is  to 
 labour  for  God  faithfully,  and  with  encouragement  of  success  ! 
 Blessed  be  the  Lord  for  ever  and  ever  for  the  assistance  and  com- 
 fort granted  this  day  ! 
 
 Feb,  21.  Preached  to  a  number  of  people,  many  of  them  Low 
 Dutch.  Several  of  the  fore-mentioned  High  Dutch  people  at- 
 tended the  sermon,  though  eight  or  ten  miles  distant  from  their 
 houses.  Numbers  of  the  Indians  also  belonging  to  these  parts 
 came  of  their  own  accord  with  my  people  from  Crossweeksung,  to 
 the  meeting. — There  were  two  in  particular,  who,  though  the  last 
 Sabbath  they  opposrd  and  ridiculed  Christianity,  now  behaved  so- 
 berly. May  the  present  encouraging  appearances  continue! 
 
 "  My  soul  was  refreshed  and  comforted  ;  and  I  could  not  but 
 bless  God,  who  had  enabled  me  in  some  good  measure  to  be 
 faithful  the  day  past.  Oh  how  sweet  it  is  to  be  spent  and  worn 
 out  for  God. 
 
 Feb,  22.  "  Preached  to  the  Indians.  They  appeared  more 
 free  from  prejudice  and  more  cordial  to  Christianity  than  before  ; 
 and  some  of  them  appeared  affected  with  divine  truths.  My  spir- 
 its were  much  supported,  though  my  bodily  strength  was  much  wast- 
 ed. Oh  that  God  would  be  gracious  to  the  souls  of  these  poor 
 Indians  ! 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  281 
 
 **  God  has  been  very  gracious  to  me  this  week.  He  has  ena- 
 bled me  to  preach  every  day  ;  and  has  given  me  some  assistance 
 and  encouraging  prospect  of  success  in  almost  every  sermon. — 
 Blessed  be  his  name!  Several  of  the  white  people  have  been 
 awakened  this  week  ;  and  numbers  of  the  Indians  much  cured  of 
 prejudices  and  jealousies,  which  they  had  conceived  against  Chris- 
 tianity, and  seem  to  be  really  awakened. 
 
 Lord^s  day,  Feb.  23.  "  Preached  to  the  Indians  from  John 
 vi.  35 — 37,  After  public  service  discoursed  particularly  with  sev- 
 eral of  them,  and  invited  them  to  go  down  to  Crossweeksung  and 
 tarry  there  at  least  for  some  time  ;  knowing  tiiat  they  would  then 
 be  Uee  from  the  scoffs  and  temptations  of  the  opposing  Pagans,  as 
 well  as  in  the  way  of  hearing  divine  truths  discoursed  of  both  in 
 public  and  private.  Obtained  a  promise  of  some  of  them  that 
 they  would  speedily  pay  us  a  visit,  and  attend  some  farther  instruc- 
 tions. They  seemed  to  be  considerably  enlightened,  and  much 
 freed  from  their  prejudices  against  Christianity.  But  it  is  much  to 
 be  feared  that  their  prejudices  will  revive  again,  unless  they  can 
 enjoy  the  means  of  instruction  here,  or  be  removed  when  they  may 
 be  under  such  advantages,  and  out  of  the  way  of  their  Pagan  ac- 
 quaintances." 
 
 The  next  day  Brainerd  left  the  Forks  of  Delaware  to  return  to 
 Crossweeksung,  and  spent  the  whole  week  till  Saturday  in  his 
 journey.  He  preached  on  the  way  every  day  except  one;  and 
 was  several  times  greatly  assisted,  and  had  much  inward  comfort 
 and  earnest  longings  to  fill  up  all  his  time  in  the  service  of  God. — 
 He  utters  such  expressions  as  these  after  preaching  :  "  Oh  that  I 
 may  be  enabled  to  plead  the  cause  of  God  faithfully  to  my  dying 
 moment.  Oh  how  sweet  it  would  be  to  spend  myself  wholly  for 
 God,  and  in  his  cause,  and  to  be  freed  from  selfish  motives  in  my 
 labours." 
 
 Crossweeksung f  March,   1746. 
 
 March  1.  "  Catechised  in  my  ordinary  method.  Was  pleased 
 and  refreshed  to  see  them  answer  the  questions  proposed  to  them 
 with  such  remarkable  readiness,  discretion  and  knowledge.  To- 
 ward the  close  of  my  dscourse  divine  truths  made  considerable 
 impressions  upon  the  audience,  and  produced  tears  and  sobs  in 
 some  under  concern;  and  more  especially  a  sweet  and  humble 
 melting  in  several,  who,  I  have  reason  to  hope,  were  truly  gra- 
 cious. 
 
 36 
 
^82  MEMOIKS  OF  BRALNERD. 
 
 Lord^s  Say^  March  2.  "  Preached  from  John  xv.  16.  The 
 assembly  a}>peared  not  so  lively  in  their  atienlion  as  usual,  nor  so 
 much  affected  with  divine  truths  in  general  as  has  been  common. 
 Some  of  my  people  who  went  up  to  the  Forks  of  Delaware  with 
 me,  being  now  returned,  were  accompanied  by  two  of  the  Indians 
 belonging  to  the  Forks,  who  had  promised  me  a  speedy  visit. 
 May  the  Lord  meet  with  them  here.  They  can  scarcely  go  into 
 a  house  now  but  they  will  meet  with  christian  conversation, 
 whereby  it  is  to  be  hoped  they  may  be  both  instructed  and  awa- 
 kened. 
 
 "  Discoursed  to  the  Indians  again  in  the  afternoon,  and  observ- 
 ed among  them  some  animation  and  engagedness  in  divine  service, 
 though  not  equal  to  what  has  often  appeared  here.  I  know  of  no 
 assembly  of  christians,  where  there  seems  to  be  so  much  of  the 
 presence  of  God,  where  brotherly  love  so  much  prevails,  and 
 where  I  should  take  so  much  delight  in  the  public  worship  of  God 
 in  general,  as  in  my  own  congregation;  although  not  more  than 
 nine  months  ago,  they  were  worshipping  devils  and  dumb  idols 
 under  the  power  of  Pagan  darkness  and  superstition.  Amazing 
 change  this  !  effected  by  nothing  less  than  divine  power  and  grace. 
 This  is  the  doing  of  the  Lord,  and  it  is  justly  marvellous  in  our 
 eyes." 
 
 The  four  next  days  were  spent  in  great  bodily  weakness,  but  he 
 speaks  of  some  seasons  of  considerable  inward  comfort. 
 
 March  5.  "  Spent  some  time  just  at  evening  in  prayer,  sing- 
 ing, and  discoursing  to  my  people  upon  divine  things  ;  and  ob- 
 served some  agreeable  tenderness  and  affection  among  them. — 
 Their  present  situation  is  so  compact  and  commodious,  that  they 
 are  easily  and  quickly  called  together  with  only  the  sound  of  a 
 conk-sheil,  (a  shell  like  that  of  a  periwinkle,)  so  that  they  have 
 frequent  opportunities  of  attending  religious  exercises  publicly. — 
 This  seems  to  be  a  great  means  under  God  of  keeping  alive  the 
 impressions  of  divine  things  in  their  minds. 
 
 March  6.  "  I  walked  alone  in  the  evening,  and  enjoyed  sweet- 
 ness and  comfort  in  prayer  beyond  what  I  have  of  late  enjoyed* 
 My  soul  rejoiced  in  my  pilgrim  state  ;  and  I  was  delighted  with 
 the  thoughts  of  labouring  and  enduring  hardness  for  God;  felt 
 some  longing  desires  to  preach  the  gospel  to  dear  immortal  souls ; 
 and  confided  in  God,  that  he  would  be  with  me  in  my  work,  and 
 that  he  never  would  leave  nor  forsake  me  to  the  end  of  my  race. 
 Oh  may  I  obtain  mercy  of  God  to  6e  faithful  to  my  dying  mo- 
 ment ! 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  283 
 
 March  7.  "  In  the  afternoon  went  on  with  my  work  with  free- 
 dom and  cheerfulness;  God  assisting  me  ;  and  enjoyed  comfort  in 
 the  evening. 
 
 March  8.  *'  Catechised  in  the  evening.  My  people  answered 
 the  questions  proposed  to  them  well.  I  can  perceive  their  knowl- 
 edgti  in  religion  increases  daily.  And,  what  is  still  more  desira- 
 ble, the  divine  influence,  which  has  been  so  remarkable  among 
 them,  appears  still  to  continue  in  some  good  measure.  The  divine 
 presence  seemed  to  be  in  tiie  assembly  this  evening.  Some,  who 
 I  have  good  reason  to  think  are  christians  indeed,  were  melted 
 with  a  sense  of  divine  goodness  and  their  own  barrenness  and  in 
 gratitude,  and  seemed  to  hate  theinselves,  as  one  of  them  after- 
 wards expressd  it.  Convictions  also  appeared  to  be  revived  in 
 several  instances  ;  and  divine  truths  were  attended  with  such  influ- 
 ence upon  the  assembly  in  general,  that  it  might  justly  be  called 
 an  evening  of  divine  power. 
 
 Lord's  clay,  March  d,  "Preached  from  Luke  x.  38— -42. 
 The  word  of  God  was  attended  with  power  and  energy  upot;  the 
 audience.  Numbers  were  affected,  and  concerned  to  obtain  the 
 one  thing  needful.  Several,  who  have  given  good  evidence  of 
 being  truly  gracious,  were  much  affected  with  a  want  of  spirituali- 
 ty, and  saw  the  need  they  stood  in  of  growing  in  grace.  The 
 greater  part  of  those,  who  liad  been  under  any  imprt^ssions  of  di- 
 vine things  in  times  past,  seemed  now  to  have  those  impressions 
 revived. 
 
 "  In- the  afternoon  proposed  to  have  catechised  in  my  usual 
 method.  But,  while  we  were  engaged  in  the  first  prayer  in  the 
 Indian  la» .^uage,  as  usual,  a  grc  a^  part  of  the  assembly  was  so  much 
 moved  and  affected  with  divine  tilings,  that  I  thought  it  seasonable 
 and  proper  to  omit  the  proposing  of  questions  for  that  time,  and  to 
 insist  upon  the  most  practical  truths.  I  accordingly  did  so  ;  mak- 
 ing a  further  improvement  of  the  passage  of  scripture  on  which  I 
 had  discoursed  in  the  former  part  of  the  day.  There  appeared  to 
 be  a  powerful  divine  influence  in  the  congregation.  Several,  who, 
 as  I  have  reason  to  think,  are  truly  pious,  were  so  deeply  affected 
 with  a  sense  of  their  own  barrenness,  and  their  unworthy  treatment 
 of  the  blessed  Redeemer,  that  they  looked  on  him  as  pierced  by 
 themselves,  and  mourned,  yea  some  of  them  were  in  bitterness  as 
 for  a  first-born. 
 
 "Some  poor  awakened  sinners,  also,  appeared  to  be  in  anguish 
 of  soul  to  obtain  an  interest  in  Christ ;  so  that  there  was  a  great 
 mourning  in  the  assembly :  many  heavy  groans,  sobs  and  tears  ! 
 and  one  or  two,  newly  come  among  us,  were  considerably  awak- 
 «>ned. 
 
204  :VIEM01KS  OF  BKAINERD. 
 
 *'  INIethinks  it  would  have  refreshed  the  heart  of  any,  who  truly 
 love  Zion's  interests,  to  have  been  in  the  midst  of  this  divine  influ- 
 ence, and  seen  the  effects  of  it  upon  saints  and  sinners.  The 
 place  of  divine  worship  appeared  both  solemn  and  sweet;  and 
 was  so  endeared  by  a  display  of  the  divine  presence  and  grace, 
 that  those  who  had  any  relish  for  divine  things  could  not  but  cry, 
 "  How  amiable  are  thy  tabernacles,  O  Lord  of  Hosts  !"  After 
 public  worship  was  over,  numbers  came  to  my  house  ;  where  we 
 sang  and  discoursed  of  divine  things  ;  and  the  presence  of  God 
 seemed  here  also  to  be  in  the  midst  of  us. 
 
 "  While  we  were  singing  there  was  one  individual,  the  woman 
 mentioned  in  my  jo'  rnal  of  February  9,  who,  I  may  venture  to 
 say,  if  I  may  be  allowed  to  say  so  much  of  any  person  I  ever  saw, 
 was  '■  filled  with  joy  unspeakable  and  full  of  glory  ;"  and  could 
 not  but  burst  forth  in  prayer  and  praises  to  God  before  us  all, 
 with  many  tears;  crying  sometimes  in  Englisli,  and  sometimes  in 
 Indian,  "  O  Messed  Lord!  do  come,  do  come!  O  do  take  me 
 away;  do  let  me  die,  and  go  to  Jesus  Christ!  I  am  afraid  if  I  live 
 I  shall  sin  again.  O  do  let  me  die  now  !  O  dear  Jesus,  do  come  ! 
 I  cannot  stay,  I  cannot  stay  !  O  how  can  I  live  in  this  world  ;  do 
 take  my  soul  away  from  this  sinf id  place!  O  let  me  never  sin  any 
 more!  O  what  shall  I  do,  what  shall  I  do,  dear  Jesus!  O  dear 
 Jesus!  In  this  ecstacy  she  continued  some  time,  uttering  these 
 and  similar  expressions  incessantly.  The  grand  argument  she 
 used  with  God  to  take  her  away  immediately  was,  that  "if she  liv- 
 ed, she  should  sin  against  him."  When  she  had  a  little  recovered 
 herself,  I  asked  her,  if  Christ  was  now  sweet  to  her  soul  ?  Where- 
 upon, turning  to  me  with  tears  in  her  eyes,  and  with  all  the  tokens 
 of  deep  humility  I  ever  saw  in  any  person,  she  said,  "  I  have  ma- 
 ny times  heard  you  speak  of  the  goodness  and  the  sweetness  of 
 Christ,  that  he  was  better  than  all  the  world.  But  O  I  knew  noth- 
 ing what  you  meant.  I  never  believed  you,  I  never  believed  you! 
 But  now  1  know  it  is  true  ;"  or  words  to  that  effect.  I  answered, 
 "  And  do  you  see  enough  in  Christ  for  the  greatest  of  sinners  ?" 
 She  replied,  "  O  enough,  enough  for  all  the  sinners  in  the  world, 
 if  they  would  but  come."  When  I  asked  her,  "If  she  could  not 
 tell  them  of  the  goodness  of  Christ."  Turning  herself  about  to 
 some  Christless  souls,  who  stood  by,  and  were  much  affected,  she 
 said,  "  Oh  there  is  enough  in  Christ  for  you  if  you  would  but 
 come.  O  strive,  strive  to  give  up  your  hearts  to  him,"  Sic.  On 
 hearing  something  of  the  glory  of  heaven  mentioned,  that  there 
 was  no  sin  in  that  world  ;  she  again  fell  into  the  same  ecstacy  of 
 joy  and  desire  of  Christ's  coming  ;  repeating  her  former  expres- 
 Fions,   "  O  dear  Lord,  do  let  me  go !     O  what  shall  I  do ;  what 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  ^zSd. 
 
 shall  I  do.     I  want  to  go  to  Christ.     I  cannot  live.     O  do  let  rae 
 die,"  he. 
 
 She  continued  in  this  sweet  frame  for  more  than  two  hours,  be- 
 fore she  was  able  to  get  home.  I  am  very  sensible  tl^-^  there  may 
 be  great  joys,  arising  even  to  an  ecstacy,  where  there  is  still  no 
 substantial  evidence  of  their  being  well  grounded.  But,  in  the 
 present  case,  there  seemed  to  be  no  evidence  wantin-'.  in  order  to 
 prove  this  joy  to  be  divine ;  either  in  regard  to  its  preparatives,  at- 
 tendants, or  consequents. 
 
 Of  all  the  persons,  whom  1  have  seen  under  spiritual  exerci-e, 
 I  scarcely  ever  saw  one  appear  more  bowed  and  broken  under  con- 
 victions of  sin  and  misery,  or  what  is  usually  called  a  preparatory 
 work,  than  this  woman  ;  nor  scarcely  any,  who  seemed  to  have  a 
 greater  acquaintance  with  her  own  heart  than  she  had.  She  would 
 frequently  complain  to  me  of  the  hardness  and  rebellion  of  her 
 heart.  Would  tell  me  that  her  heart  rose  and  quarrelled  with 
 God,  when  she  thought  he  would  do  with  her  as  he  pleased,  and 
 send  her  to  hell,  notwithstanding  her  prayers,  good  frames,  he. 
 and  that  her  heart  was  not  willing  to  come  to  Christ  for  salvation, 
 but  tried  every  where  else  for  help.  As  she  seemed  to  be  re- 
 markably sensible  of  her  stubbornness  and  contrariety  to  God. 
 under  conviction,  so  she  appeared  to  be  no  less  remarkably  bowed 
 and  reconciled  to  his  sovereignty,  before  she  obtained  any  reliefer 
 comfort;  something  of  which  I  have  noticed  in  my  journal  of 
 Feb.  9.  Since  that  time  she  has  seemed  constantly  to  breathe  the 
 temper  and  spirit  of  the  new  creature;  crying  after  Christ,  not 
 through  fear  of  hell  as  before,  but  with  strong  desires  after  him  as 
 her  only  satisfying  porh'on;  and  has  many  times  wept  and  sobbed 
 bitterly  because,  as  she  apprehended,  she  did  not  and  could  not 
 love  him.  When  I  have  sometimes  asked  her  why  she  appeared 
 so  sorrowful,  and  whether  it  was  because  she  was  afraid  of  hell : 
 she  would  answer  "No,  I  be  not  distressed  about  that ^  but  mv 
 heart  is  so  wicked,  I  cannot  love  Christ ;"  and  thereupon  burst  in- 
 to tears.  But  although  this  has  been  the  habitual  frame  of  her 
 mind  for  several  weeks  together,  so  that  the  exercise  of  grace  ap- 
 peared evident  to  others;  yet  slie  seemed  wholly  insensible  to  it 
 herself,  and  never  had  any  remarkable  comfort  and  sensible  satis- 
 faction until  this  evening. 
 
 This  sweet  and  surprising  ecstacy,  appeared  to  spring  from  a 
 true  spiritual  discovery  of  the  glory,  ravishing  beauty,  and  excel- 
 lency of  Christ;  and  not  from  any  gross  imaginary  notions  of  his 
 human  nature,  such  as  that  of  seeing  him  in  such  a  place,  or  pas- 
 ture, as  hanging  on  the   cross,  as   bleeding  and  dying,  as  gently 
 
$86  .MEMOlIiS  OF   BKAINEKD. 
 
 smiling,  and  the  like  ;  which  delusions  some  have  been  carried 
 away  with.  Nor  did  it  rise  from  sordid  selfish  apprehensions  of 
 her  having  any  benefit  whatsoever  conferred  on  her;  but  from  a 
 view  of  his  personal  excellency  and  transcendant  loveliness  ; 
 which  drew  forth  those  vehement  desires  of  enjoying  him  which 
 she  now  marii.ested,  and  made  her  long  ''to  be  absent  from  the 
 body,  that  she  might  be  present  with  the  Lord." 
 
 The  attendants  of  this  ravishing  comfort  were  such,  as  abun- 
 dantly discovered  its  spring  to  be  divine  ;  and  that  it  was  truly 
 '^  a  joy  in  the  Holy  Ghost."  Now  she  viewed  divine  truths  as 
 livi!»g  realities,  and  could  say,  "  1  know  these  things  are  so  ;  I  feci 
 that  they  are  true"  !  Now  her  soul  was  resigned  to  the  divine 
 wiil  H\  the  most  tender  point ;  so  that  when  I  said  to  her,  "  What 
 if  God  should  take  away  your  husband*  from  you,  who  was  then 
 very  sick,  how  do  you  think  you  could  bear  that  ?"  She  replied, 
 "  He  belongs  to  God,  and  not  to  me  ;  he  may  do  with  him  just  as 
 he  pleases."  Now  she  had  the  most  tender  sense  of  the  evil  of  sin, 
 and  discovered  the  utmost  aversion  to  it,  api^  longing  to  die,  that 
 she  might  be  delivered  from  it.  Now  she  could  freely  trust  her 
 all  with  God  for  time  and  eternity.  When  I  questioned  her, 
 "  How  she  would  be  w^illing  to  die  and  leave  her  little  infant; 
 and  what  she  thought  would  become  of  it  ill  that  case  ?"  she  an- 
 swered, "  God  will  take  care  of  it."  Now  she  appeared  to  have 
 the  most  humbling  sense  of  her  own  meanness  and  unworthiness, 
 her  weakness  and  inability  to  preserve  herself  from  sin,  and  to  per- 
 severe in  the  w^ay  of  holiness,  crying,  "If  I  Hve  I  shall  sin."  I 
 then  thongiit  that  I  had  never  seen  such  an  appearance  of  ecstasy 
 and  humility  meeting  in  any  one  person  in  all  my  life  before. 
 
 "The  consequents  of  this  joy  are  no  less  desirable  and  satisfac- 
 tory than  its  attendants.  She  since  appears  to  be  a  most  tender, 
 broken-hearted,  affectionate,  devout,  and  humble  Christian  ;  as 
 exemplary  in  life  and  conversation  as  any  person  in  my  congre- 
 gation. May  she  still  "grow  in  grace  and  in  the  knowledge  of 
 Christ." 
 
 March  10.  "  Towards  night  the  Indians  met  together,  of  their 
 own  accord,  and  sang,  prayed,  and  discoursed  of  divine  things 
 among  themselves;  at  which  time  there  was  much  affection  among 
 them.  Some,  who  are  hopefully  gracious,  appeared  to  be  melted 
 with  divine  things;  and  some  others  seemed  much  concerned  foi 
 their  souls.  Perceiving  their  engagement  and  affection  in  reli- 
 gious exercises,  I  went  among.them,  and  prayed,  and  gave  a  word 
 o(  exhortation  ;  and  observed  two  or  three  somewhat  affected  and 
 concerned,  who   scarce  ever  appeared   to  be  under  any  religion? 
 
 *  The  man  mentions  J  in  my  Journal  of  January  1!) 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  287 
 
 impressions  before.  It  seemed  to  be  a  day  and  evenmg  of  divine 
 power.  Numbers  retained  the  warm  impressions  of  divine  things 
 which  had  been  made  upon  their  minds  the  day  before. 
 
 "My  soul  was  refreshed  with  freedom  and  enlargemerrt,  and,  I 
 hope,  the  lively  exercise  of  faith  in  secret  prayer  this  night.  My 
 will  was  sweetly  resigned  to  the  divine  will;  my  hopes  respecting 
 the  enlargement  of  the  kingdom  of  Christ  somewhat  raised  ;  and 
 I  could  commit  Zion's  cause  to  God  as  his  owti.^^ 
 
 On  Tuesday  he  speaks  of  some  sweetness  and  spirituality  in' 
 Christian  conversation.  On  Wednesday  complains  that  he  enjoy- 
 ed not  much  comfort  and  satisfaction  through  the  day,  because 
 he  did  but  little  for  God.  On  Thursday,  spent  a  considerable 
 lime  in  company  on  a  special  occasion,  but  in  perplexity,  because 
 without  salutary  religious  conversation. 
 
 March  14.  "Was  visited  by  a  considerable  number  of  my 
 people  and  spent  somie  time  in  religious  exercises  with  them. 
 
 March  15.  "In  the  evening  catechised.  My  people  answered 
 the  questions  put  to  them  with  surprising  readiness  and  judgment. 
 There  appeared  some  warmth,  and  a  feeling  sense  of  divine 
 things  among  those  who  I  have  reason  to  hope  are  real  Christians, 
 while  I  was  discoursing  upon  peace  of  conscience  and  joy  in  the 
 Holy  Ghost.  These  seemed  quickened  and  enlivened  in  divine 
 service,  though  there  was  not  so  mucb  appearance  of  concerrt 
 among  those  whom  I  have  reason  to  think  in  a  Christless  state.'' 
 
 In  the  former  part  of  the  week  following  he  was  very  ill,  and 
 under  great  dejection  ;  being  rendered  unserviceable  by  his  illness, 
 and  fearing  that  he  should  never  be  serviceable  any  more  ;  and 
 therefore  exceedingly  longed  for  death.  But  afterwards  he  was 
 more  encouraged,  and  life  appeared  more  desirable  ;  because,  as 
 he  says,  he  "had  a  little  dawn  of  hope  that  he  might  be  useful  in 
 the  world."  In  the  latter  part  of  this  week  he  was  somewhat 
 relieved  of  his  illness,  in  the  use  of  means  prescribed  by  his 
 physician. 
 
 Lord''s  day,  March  16.  "Preached  to  my  congregation  from 
 Hebrews  2nd,  1 — 3.  Divine  truths  seemed  to  have  some  con- 
 siderable influence  upon  some  of  the  hearers,  and  produced  ma- 
 ny tears,  as  well  as  heavy  sighs  and  sobs,  among  those  who  have 
 given  evidence  of  being  real  Christians,  and  o-hers  also.  The 
 impressions  made  upon  the  audience  appeared  in  general  deep* 
 and  heart-affecting  :  not  superficial  noisy  and  affected. 
 
288  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 "Towards  night  discoursed  again  on  the  Great  Salvation. 
 The  word  was  again  attended  with  some  power  upon  the  audience. 
 Numbers  wept  affectionately,  and  to  appearance  unfeignedly;  so 
 that  the  Spirit  of  God  seemed  to  be  7noving  upon  the  face  of  the 
 assembly.  Baptized  the  woman  particularly  mentioned  in  my 
 journal  of  last  Lord's  day;  who  now,  as  well  as  then,  appeared 
 to  be  in  a  devout,  humble,  and  excellent  frame  of  mind. 
 
 "  My  house  being  thronged  with  my  people  in  the  evening  ;  1 
 spent  the  time  in  religious  exercises  with  then),  until  my  nature 
 was  almost  spent.  They  are  so  unwearied  in  religious  exercises 
 and  insatiable  in  their  thirsting  afte.  Cliristian  knowledge,  that  I 
 can  sometimes  scarcely  avoid  labouring  so  as  greatly  to  exhaust 
 my  strength  and  spirits. 
 
 March  19.  "S-veral  of  the  persons  who  went  with  me  to  the 
 Forks  of  Delaware  in  February  last,  having  b'?eu  detained  there 
 by  \he  dangerous  "llness  of  one  <.f  their  company,  returned  home 
 but  this  day.  Whereupon  my  people  generally  met  together  of 
 their  own  accord,  in  order  to  ^pend  some  time  in  religious  exer- 
 cises; and  especially  to  give  thanks  to  God  for  his  preserving 
 goodness  to  those  who  had  beeu  absent  from  them  for  several 
 weeks,  and  recovering  mercy  to  him  who  had  been  sick  ;  and  that 
 he  had  now  returned  them  all  in  safety.  As  I  was  then  absent; 
 they  desired  my  school-master  to  assist  them  in  carrying  on  their 
 religious  solemnity  ;  who  tells  me  that  they  appeared  engaged  and 
 affectionate  in  repeated  prayer,   singing,  &tc. 
 
 March  22.  "Catechised  in  my  usual  method  in  the  evening. 
 My  people  answered  questions  to  my  great  satisfaction.  There 
 appeared  nothing  very  remarkable  in  the  assembly,  considering 
 what  has  been  common  among  us.  Although  1  may  justly  say 
 the  strict  attention,  the  tenderness  and  affection,  the  man}  tears 
 and  heart  affecting  sobs,  appearing  in  numbers  in  the  assembly, 
 would  have  been  very  remarkable,  were  it  not  that  God  has  made 
 these  things  common  with  us,  and  even  with  strangers  soon  after 
 their  coming  among  us,  from  time  to  time.  I  am  far  froni  think- 
 ing that  every  appearance  and  particular  instance  of  affection  that 
 has  been  among  us  has  been  truly  genuine,  and  purely  from  a  di- 
 vine influence.  I  am  sensible  of  the  contrary  ;  and  doubt  not 
 but  that  there  has  been  some  corrupt  mixture,  some  chaff  as  well 
 as  wheat;  especially  since  religious  concern  appeared  so  common 
 and  prevalent  here. 
 
 Lord's  day,  March  23.  "There  being  about  fifteen  strangers, 
 adult  persons,  come  among  us  in  the  week  past,  several  of  whom 
 had  never  been  in  any  reliciious  meetini^  till  now ;  I  thought  it 
 proper  to  discourse  this  day  in  a  manner  peculiarly  suited  to  their 
 
1VIEM0IRS  OF  BRAINERD.  289 
 
 circumstances  and  capacities ;  and  accordingly  attempted  it  from 
 Hosea  13th,  9.  *'  O  Israel,  thou  hast  destroyed  thyseliV  &ic.  In 
 the  forenoon,  I  opened,  in  the  plainest  manner  I  could,  man's 
 apostasy  and  ruined  state,  after  having  spoken  some  things  re- 
 specting the  being  and  perfections  of  God,  and  his  creation  of 
 man  in  a  state  of  uprightness  and  happiness.  In  the  afternoon, 
 endeavoured  to  open  the  glorious  provision  which  God  has  made 
 for  the  redemption  of  apostate  creatures,  by  giving  his  own  dear 
 Son  to  suffer  for  them  and  satisfy  divine  justice  on  their  behalf. 
 There  was  not  that  affection  and  concern  in  the  assembly  which 
 has  been  common  among  us ;  although  there  was  a  desirable 
 attention  appearing  in  general,  and  even  in  most  of  the  stran- 
 gers. 
 
 "Near  sun-set  I  felt  an  uncommon  concern  upon  my  mind,  es- 
 pecially for  the  poor  strangers;  that  God  had  so  much  withheld 
 his  presence  and  the  powerful  influence  of  liis  Spirit  from  the  as- 
 sembly in  the  exercises  of  the  day;  and  thereby  withheld  from 
 them  that  degree  of  conviction  which  1  hoped  they  might  have 
 had.  In  this  frame  I  visited  several  houses  and  discoursed  with 
 some  concern  and  affection  to  several  persons  particularly;  but 
 without  much  appearance  of  success,  till  I  came  to  a  house  where 
 several  of  the  strangers  were.  There  the  solemn  truths  on  which 
 I  discoursed  appeared  to  take  effect;  first  upon  some  children; 
 then  upon  several  adult  persons  who  had  been  somewhat  awaken- 
 ed before;  and  afterwards  upon  several  of  the  Pagan  strangers. 
 
 "I  continued  my  discourse,  with  some  fervency,  until  almost 
 every  one  in  the  house  was  melted  into  tears,  and  divers  wept 
 aloud,  and  appeared  earnestly  concerned  to  obtain  an  interest  in 
 Christ.  Upon  this,  numbers  soon  gathered  from  all  the  houses 
 round  about ;  and  so  thronged  the  place,  that  we  were  obliged  to  re- 
 move to  the  house  vvhere  we  usually  met  for  pubfic  worship. 
 The  congregation  gathering  immediately,  and  many  appearing 
 remarkably  affected,  I  discoursed  some  time  from  Luke  19(h,  10. 
 For  the  Son  of  manis  come  to  seek,  &;c.;  endeavoring  to  open  the 
 meri  y,  compassion,  and  concern  of  Christ  for  lost,  helpless,  and 
 undone  sinners.  There  was  much  visible  concern  and  affection 
 in  the  assembly;  and  I  doubt  not  but  that  a  divine  influence  ac- 
 companied what  was  spoken  to  the  hearts  of  many.  There  were 
 five  or  six  of  the  strangers,  men  and  women,  who  appeared  to  be 
 considerably  awakened;  and,  in  particular,  one  very  rugged 
 young  man,  who  seemed  as  if  nothing  would  move  him,  was 
 now  brought  to  tremble  like  the  jailor,  and  weep  for  a  long 
 time. 
 
 37 
 
290  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 "The  Pagans  who  were  awakened,  seemed  at  once  to  put  ofF 
 their  savage  roughness  and  Pagan  manners,  and  became  sociable, 
 orderly  and  humane  in  their  carriage.  When  they  first  came,  I 
 exhorted  my  religious  people  to  take  pains  with  them  as  they  had 
 done  with  other  strangers  from  time  to  time,  to  instruct  them  in 
 Christianity.  But  when  some  of  them  attempted  something  of 
 (hat  nature,  the  strangers  would  soon  rise  up  and  walk  to  other 
 houses  in  order  to  avoid  the  hearing  of  such  discourses.  Where- 
 upon some  of  the  serious  peisons  agreed  to  disperse  themselves 
 into  the  several  parts  of  the  settlement;  so  that  wherever  the 
 strangers  went,  they  met  with  some  instructive  discourse,  and 
 warm  addresses  respecting  their  salvation.  But  now,  there  was 
 no  need  of  using  policy  in  order  to  get  an  opportunity  of  convers- 
 ing with  some  of  them  about  their  spiritual  concerns;  for  they 
 were  so  far  touched  with  a  sense  of  their  perishing  state,  as  made 
 them  voluntarily  yield  to  the  closest  addresses  which  were  made 
 them  respecting  their  sin  and  misery,  their  need  of  an  acquaintance 
 with  and  interest  in  the  great  Redeemer. 
 
 March  24.  "Nun:ibered  the  Indians,  to  see  how  many  souls 
 God  had  gathered  together  here  since  my  coming  into  these  parts; 
 and  found  there  were  now  about  an  hundred  and  thirty  persons 
 together,  old  and  young.  Sundry  of  those,  who  are  my  stated 
 hearers,  periiaps  to  the  number  o^  fifteen  or  twenty,  were  absent 
 at  this  season.  If  all  had  been  together,  the  number  would  now 
 have  been  very  considerable ;  especially  considering  how  few 
 w^ere  together  at  my  first  coming  into  this  part  of  the  country  : 
 the  whole  number,  then,  not  amounting  to  ten  persons  at  that 
 time. 
 
 "My  people  were  out  this  day  with  the  design  of  clearing  some 
 of  their  land,  above  fifteen  miles  distant  from  this  settlement,  in 
 order  to  their  settling  there  in  a  compact  form,  where  they  might 
 be  under  the  advantages  of  attending  the  public  worship  of  God, 
 of  having  their  children  taught  in  a  school,  and  at  the  same  tiiue 
 have  a  conveniency  for  planting  :  their  land,  in  the  place  of  our 
 present  residence,  being  of  little  or  no  value  for  that  purpose. 
 The  design  of  their  settling  thus  in  a  body,  and  cultivating  their 
 lands,  of  which  they  have  done  very  little  in  their  Pagan  state, 
 being  of  such  necessity  and  importance  to  their  religious  interest, 
 as  well  as  worldly  comfort;  I  thought  it  proper  to  call  them  to- 
 gether, and  shew  them  the  duty  of  labouring  with  faithfulness  and 
 industry,  and  that  they  must  not  now  "be  slothful  in  business," 
 as  they  had  ever  been  in  their  Pagan  state.  I  endeavoured  to 
 press  the  importance  of  their  being  laborious,  dili}.ent,  and  vigo- 
 rous in  the  prosecution  of  their  business;  especially  at  the  present 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  291 
 
 juncture,  the  season  of  planting  being  now  near,  in  order  to  their 
 being  in  a  capacity  of  living  together,  and  enjoying  the  means  of 
 grace  and  instruction.  Having  given  them  directions  for  their 
 work,  which  they  very  much  wanted,  as  well  as  for  their  behaviour 
 in  divers  respects;  I  explained,  sang,  and  endeavoured  to  incul- 
 cate upon  them  the  127th  Psalm,  common  metre.  Dr.  Watt's  ver- 
 sion; and  having  recommended  them,  and  the  design  of  their 
 going  forth,  to  God,  by  prayer  with  them,  I  dismissed  them  to 
 their  business. 
 
 "  After  the  Indians  were  gone  to  their  work,  to  clear  their  lands, 
 I  retired  by  myself,  and  poured  out  my  soul  to  God,  that  he  would 
 smile  on  their  feeble  beginnings,  and  that  he  would  settle  an  Indian 
 town,  which  might  be  a  mountain  of  holiness.  I.  found  ray  soul 
 much  refreshed  in  these  petitions  and  much  enlarged  for  Zion's 
 interest,  and  for  numbers  of  dear  friends  in  particular.  My  sink- 
 ing spirits  were  revived  and  raised  ;  and  I  felt  animated  in  the  ser- 
 vice lo  which  God  has  called  me. 
 
 "  This  was  the  dearest  hour  I  have  enjoyed  for  many  days,  if 
 not  weeks.  I  found  an  encouraging  hope  that  something  would 
 be  done  for  God;  and  that  God  would  use  and  help  me  in  his 
 work.  O,  how  sweet  were  the  thoughts  of  labouring  for  God, 
 when  I  felt  any  spirit  and  courage,  and  had  any  hope  that  I  ever 
 should  be  succeeded. 
 
 "In  the  evening,  read  and  expounded  to  those  of  my  people 
 who  were  yet  at  home,  and  to  the  strangers  newly  come,  the  sub- 
 stance of  the  3d  chapter  of  the  Acts.  Numbers  seemed  to  melt 
 under  the  word  ;  especially  while  I  was  discoursing  upon  ver.  19. 
 "Repent  ye,  therefore,  and  be  converted,"  &;c.  Several  of  the 
 strangers  also  were  affected.  When  I  asked  them  afterwards. 
 Whether  they  did  not  now  feel  that  their  hearts  were  wicked  as  I 
 liad  taught  them;  one  of  them  replied,  "Yes,  she  felt  it  now." 
 Although,  before  she  came  here,  upon  hearing  that  I  taught  the 
 Indians  that  their  hearts  were  all  bad  by  nature,  and  needed  to  be 
 changed  and  made  good  by  the  power  of  God  ;  she  had  said, 
 "  Her  heart  was  not  wicked,  and  she  had  never  done  any  thing 
 that  was  bad  in  her  life."  This,  indeed,  seems  to  be  the  case 
 with  them,  1  think  universally,  in  their  Pagan  State.  They  seem 
 to  have  no  consciousness  of  sin  and  guilt,  unless  they  can  charge 
 themselves  with  some  gross  acts  of  sin  contrary  to  the  commands 
 of  the  second  table.^^ 
 
 The  next  day  his  schoolmaster  was  taken  sick  with  a  pleurisy, 
 and  he  spent  a  great  part  of  the  remainder  of  this  week  in  at- 
 tending him.     In  his  weak  state,  this  was  an  almost  overbearing 
 
292  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAlNERD. 
 
 burden;  he  being  obliged  constantly  to  wait  upon  liim  from  day 
 to  day,  and  to  lie  on  the  floor  at  night.  His  spirits  sunk  in  a 
 considerable  degree,  with  his  bodily  strength,  under  this  burden. 
 
 March  27,  '•Discoursed  to  a  number  of  my  people  in  one  of 
 their  houses  in  a  more  private  manner.  Inquired  particularly 
 into  their  spiritual  states,  in  order  to  see  what  impressions  they 
 were  under.  Laid  before  them  the  marks  of  a  regenerate,  as 
 well  as  of  an  unregenerate  state:  and  endeavoured  to  suit  and 
 direct  my  discourse  to  them  severally,  according  as  1  apprehend- 
 ed their  states  to  b&.  Th^re  ^as  a  c.oni.i.:lerabh'  number  gather- 
 ed together  before  I  finished  my  discourse  ;  and  several  seemed 
 much  atFected,  while  I  was  urging  the  necessity  and  infinite  im- 
 portance of  getting  into  a  renewed  state.  I  find  particular  and 
 close  dealing  with  souls  in  private,  is  often  very  successful. 
 
 March  29.  "  In  tlie  evening,  catechised,  as  usual  upon  Satur- 
 day. Treated  upon  the  benefits  which  believers  receive  from 
 Christ  at  death.  The  questions  were  answered  with  great  readi- 
 ness and  propriety  ;  and  those  who  I  have  reason  to  think,  are 
 the  dear  people  of  God,  were  in  general  sweetly  melted.  There 
 appeared  such  a  liveliness  and  vigour  in  their  attendance  upon 
 the  word  of  God,  and  such  eagerness  to  be  made  partakers  of 
 the  benefits  mentioned  :  that  they  seemed  not  only  to  be  'looking 
 for,'  but  'hasting  to,  the  coming  of  the  day  of  God.'  Divine 
 truths  seemed  to  distil  upon  the  audience  with  a  gentle,  but  melt- 
 ing eflicacy,  as  the  refreshing  'showers  upon  the  new  mown 
 grass.'  The  assembly  in  general,  as  well  as  those  who  appear 
 truly  religious,  were  affected  with  some  brief  accounts  of  the 
 blessedness  of  the  godly  at  death  ;  and  most  of  them  then  dis- 
 covered an  affectionate  inclination  to  cry,  'Let  me  die  the  death 
 of  the  righteous,  and  let  my  last  end  be  like  his:'  although  many 
 were  not  duly  engaged  to  obtain  the  change  of  heart  that  is  ne- 
 cessary to  that  blessed  end. 
 
 LorcPs  dajj,  March  .30.  "  Discoursed  from  Matt.  xxv.  31 — 40. 
 There  was  a  very  considerable  moving,  and  affectionate  melting, 
 in  the  assembly.  I  hope  that  there  were  some  real,  deep,  and 
 abiding  impressions  of  divine  things  made  upon  the  minds  of  ma- 
 ny. There  was  one  aged  man,  newly  come  among  us,  who  ap- 
 peared to  be  considerably  awakened,  that  never  was  touched 
 with  any  concern  for  his  soul  before.  In  the  evening,  catechis- 
 ed. There  was  not  that  tenderness  and  melting  engagement 
 among  God's  people,  which  appeared  the  evening  before,  and 
 many  otlier  times.  They  answered  the  questions  distinctly,  and 
 well,  and  were  devout  and  attentive  in  divine  service. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF   BIIAINERD.  293 
 
 March  31.  "Called  my  people  together,  as  I  had  done  the 
 Monday  evening  before,  and  discoursed  to  them  again  on  the  ne- 
 cessity and  importance  of  labouring  industriously  in  order  to  their 
 living  together,  and  enjoying  the  means  of  grace,  &c.  Having 
 engaged  in  a  solemn  prayer  to  God  among  them  for  a  blessing 
 upon  their  attempts,  I  dismissed  them  to  their  work.  Numbers 
 of  them,  both  men  and  women,  seemed  to  otler  themselves  wil- 
 lingly to  this  service;  and  some  appeared  atilectioiiately  concern- 
 ed that  God  might  go  with  them,  and  begin  their  little  town  for 
 them  ;  that  by  his  blessing  it  might  be  a  place  comfortable  for 
 them  and  theirs,  with  regard  both  to  procuring  the  necessaries 
 of  life,  and  to  attending  on  the  worship  of  God. 
 
 "Towards  night,  I  enjoyed  some  svy-eet  meditations  on  these 
 words:  'It  is  good  for  me  to  draw  near  to  God.'  My  soul,  I 
 think,  had  some  sweet  sense  of  what  is  intended  in  those  words." 
 
 The  next  day  he  was  extremely  busy  in  taking  care  of  the 
 school-master,  and  in  some  other  necessary  affairs,  which  great- 
 ly diverted  him  from  what  he  looked  upon  as  his  proper  busi- 
 ness; but  yet  he  speaks  of  comfort  and  refreshment  at  some 
 time  of  the  day. 
 
 April  2.  "I  was  somewhat  exercised  with  a  spiritual  frame 
 of  mind ;  but  was  a  little  relieved  and  refreshed  in  the  eve- 
 ning with  meditation  alone  in  the  woods.  But  alas!  my  days 
 pass  away  as  the  chaff!  it  is  but  little  I  do,  or  can  do,  that 
 turns  to  any  account;  and  it  is  my  constant  misery  and  bur- 
 den, that  I  am  so  fruitless  in  the  vineyard  of  the  Lord.  Oh 
 that  I  were  a  pure  spirit;  that  I  might  be  active  for  God  !  This, 
 I  think,  more  than  any  thing  else,  makes  me  long  that  this 
 corruptible  might  put  on  incorruption,  and  this  mortal  put  on 
 immortality.  God  deliver  me  from  clogs,  fetters,  and  a  hodi/  of 
 death,  which  impede  my  service  from  him." 
 
 The  next  day  he  complains  bitterly  of  some  exercises  by  cor- 
 ruption, which  he  found  in  his  own  heart. 
 
 April  4.  "Spent  the  most  of  the  day  in  writing  on  Revelation 
 xxii.  17 — 'And  whosoever  will,'  &c.  Enjoyed  some  freedom 
 and  encouragement  in  my  work ;  and  found  some  comfort  in 
 prayer. 
 
 April  5,  "Catechised  in  the  evening.  There  appeared  to  be 
 some  affection  and  fervent  engagement  in  divine  service  through 
 the  assembly  in  general  ;  especially  towards  the  conclusion  of 
 my  discourse.  After  public  worship,  a  number  of  those,  who 
 1  have  reason  to  think,  are  truly  religious,  come  to  my  house, 
 
294  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 and  seemed  eager  for  some  farther  entertainment  upon  divine 
 things.  While  I  was  conversing  with  them  about  their  scriptural 
 exercises  :  observing  to  them,  that  God's  work  in  the  hearts  of 
 all  his  children,  was  for  substance  the  same  ;  and  that  their  trials 
 and  temptations  were  also  alike  ;  and  shewing  the  obligations 
 such  were  under  to  love  one  another  in  a  peculiar  manner;  they 
 seemed  to  be  melted  into  tenderness  and  affection  towards  each 
 other.  I  thought  that  that  particulnr  token  of  their  being  the 
 disciples  of  Christ,  viz.  of  their  having  love  one  towards  another, 
 had  scarcely  ever  appeared  more  evident  than  at  this  time. 
 
 After  public  worship,  a  number  of  my  dear  Christian  Indians 
 came  to  my  house  ;  with  whom  I  felt  a  sweet  union  of  soul.  My 
 heart  was  knit  to  them  ;  and  I  cannot  say  I  have  felt  such  a  sweet 
 and  fervent  love  to  the  brethren,  for  some  time  past.  I  saw  in 
 them  appearances  of  the  same  love.  This  gave  me  somewhat 
 of  a  view  of  the  heavenly  state  ;  and  particularly  of  that  part  of 
 the  happiness  of  heaven  which  consists  in  the  communion  of 
 saints  ;  and  this  was  affecting  to  me. 
 
 Lord's  day,  April  6.  "Preached  from  Matt.  vii.  21—23.  J^ot 
 every  one  that  saith  unto  me,  Lord,  Lord,  &;c.  There  were  con- 
 siderable effects  of  the  word  visible  in  the  audience,  and  such  as 
 were  very  desirable;  an  earnest  attention,  a  great  solemnity,  many 
 tears  and  heavy  sighs,  which  were  modestly  suppressed  in  a  con- 
 siderable measure,  and  appeared  unaffected  and  vvithont  any  inde- 
 cent commotion  of  the  passions.  Numbers  of  the  religious  peo- 
 people  were  put  upon  serious  and  close  examination  of  their  spir- 
 itual state,  by  hearing  that  'not  every  one  that  saith  to  Christ 
 Lord,  Lord,  shall  enter  into  his  kingdom.'  Some  expressed  fears 
 lest  they  had  deceived  themselves,  and  taken  up  a  false  hope,  be- 
 cause they  found  they  had  done  so  little  of  the  will  of  his  Father 
 who  is  in  heaven. 
 
 "There  was  one  man  brought  under  Very  great  and  pressing 
 concern  for  his  soul ;  which  appeared  more  especially  after  his 
 retirement  from  public  worship.  That,  which,  he  says,  gave  him 
 his  great  uneasiness,  was,  not  so  much  any  particular  sin,  as  that 
 he  had  never  done  the  will  of  God  at  all,  but  had  sinned  continu- 
 ally, and  so  had  no  claim  to  the  kingdom  of  Heaven.  In  the  af- 
 ternoon, I  opened  to  them  the  discipline  of  Christ  in  his  Church, 
 and  the  method  in  which  offenders  are  to  be  dealt  with.  At  which 
 time  the  religious  people  were  much  affected;  especially  when 
 they  heard  that  the  offender  continuing  obstinate,  must  finally  be 
 esteemed  and  treated  'as  an  Heathen  man,'  and  Pagan,  who  has 
 no  part  nor  lot  among  God's  visible  people.  Of  this  they  seem- 
 ed to  have  the  most  awful  apprehensions;  a  state  of  Heathenism, 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  295 
 
 out  of  which  they  were  so  lately  brought,  appearing  very  dreadful 
 to  them. 
 
 "After  public  worship,  I  visited  several  houses,  to  see  how 
 they  spent  the  remainder  of  the  sabbath,  and  to  treat  with  them 
 solemnly  on  the  great  concerns  of  their  souls.  The  Lord  seem- 
 ed to  smile  upon  my  private  endeavours,  and  to  make  these  par- 
 ticular and  personal  addresaes  more  effectual  upon  some,  than  my 
 public  discourses. 
 
 April  7.  "Discoursed  to  my  people  in  the  evening,  from  1. 
 Cor.  xi,  23 — 26.  '  For  I  have  received  of  the  Lord,'*  &;c.  En- 
 deavoured to  open  to  them  the  institution,  nature,  and  ends  of  the 
 Lord's  Supper,  as  well  as  of  the  qualifications  and  preparations 
 necessary  to  the  right  participation  of  that  ordinance.  Numbers 
 appeared  much  affected  with  the  love  of  Christ,  manifested  in  his 
 making  this  provision  for  the  comfort  of  his  people,  at  a  season 
 when  himself  was  just  entering  upon   his  sharpest  sufferings." 
 
 On  Tuesday  he  went  to  the  meeting  of  the  Presbytery  ap- 
 pointed at  Elizabethtown.  In  his  way  thither  he  enjoyed  some 
 sweet  meditations  :  but  after  he  came  there,  he  was,  as  he  expres- 
 ses it,  'very  vapoury  and  melancholy,  and  under  an  awful  gloom 
 which  oppressed  his  mind.'  This  continued  until  Saturday  eve- 
 ning; when  he  began  to  have  some  relief  and  encouragement. 
 He  spent  the  Sabbath  at  Staten  Island  ;  where  he  preached  to  an 
 assembly  of  Dutch  and  English,  and  enjoyed  considerable  re- 
 freshment and  comfort,  both  in  public  and  private.  In  the  eve- 
 ning, he  returned  to  Elizabethtown. 
 
 April  14.  "My  spirits,  this  day,  were  raised  and  refreshed, 
 and  my  mind  composed;  so  that  I  was  in  a  comfortable  frame  of 
 soul  most  of  the  day.  In  the  evening,  my  head  was  clear,  my 
 mind  serene ;  I  enjoyed  sweetness  in  secret  prayer  and  medita- 
 tion on  Psalm  Ixxiii.  28.  '  But  it  is  good  for  me  to  draw  near  to 
 God;'  &ic.  O  how  free,  how  comfortable,  cheerful,  and  yet  sol- 
 emn, do  I  feel  when  I  am  in  a  crood  measure  freed  from  those 
 damps  and  melancholy  glooms  under  which  I  often  labour.  Bles- 
 sed be  the  Lord,  I  find  myself  relieved  in  this  respect. 
 
 April  15.  "My  soul  longed  for  more  spirituality;  and  it  was 
 my  burden  that  I  could  do  no  more  for  God.  O,  my  barrejmess 
 in  my  daily  affliction  and  heavy  load!  O  how  precious  is  time  , 
 and  how  it  pains  me  to  see  it  slide  away,  while  I  do  so  little  to  any 
 good  purpose.  O  that  God  would  make  me  more  fruitful  and 
 spiritual. 
 
296  MEMOIRS  OF  BKAINERD. 
 
 The  next  day  he  speaks  of  his  being  almost  overwhelmed  with 
 vapoury  disorders  :  but  yet  not  so,  as  wholly  to  destroy  the  com- 
 posure of  his  mind. 
 
 April  17.  "  Enjoyed  some  comfort  in  prayer,  some  freedom 
 in  meditation,  and  composure  in  my  studies.  Spent  some  time 
 in  writing  in  the  forenoon.  In  the  afternoon  spent  some  time  in 
 conversation  with  several  dear  ministers.  In  the  evening  preach- 
 ed from  Psalm  Ixxiii.  28.  "  But  it  is  good  for  me  to  draw  near 
 to  God."  God  helped  me  to  feel  the  truths  of  my  texts  both  in 
 the  tirst  prayer  and  in  the  sermon.  I  was  enabled  to  pour  out 
 my  soul  to  God  with  great  freedom,  fervency  and  affection  ;  and, 
 blessed  be  the  Lord,  it  was  a  comfortable  season  to  me.  1  was 
 enabled  to  speak  with  tenderness,  and  yet  with  faithfulness  :  and 
 divine  truths  seemed  to  fall  with  weight  and  influence  upon  the 
 hearers.  My  heart  was  melted  for  the  dear  assembly  ;  and  I 
 loved  every  body  in  it ;  and  scarcely  ever  felt  more  love  to  im- 
 mortal souls  in  my  life.  My  soul  cried,  '  Oh  that  the  dear  crea- 
 tures might  be  saved  !  Oh  that  God  would  have  mercy  upon 
 them  !'  " 
 
 He  seems  to  have  been  in  a  very  comfortable  frame  of  mind 
 the  two  next  days. 
 
 LoriVs  day,  April  20.*  "  Discoursed,  both  forenoon  and  af- 
 ternoon, from  Luke  xxiv.  ;  explaining  most  of  the  chapter,  and 
 making  remarks  upon  it.  There  was  a  desirable  attention  in  the 
 audience  ;  though  there  was  not  so  much  appearance  of  affection 
 and  tenderness  among  them  as  had  been  usual.  Our  meeting 
 was  very  full;  there  being  sundry  strangers  present  who  had  nev- 
 er been  with  us  before.  Enjoyed  some  freedom,  and,  I  hope, 
 exercise  of  faith,  in  prayer  in  the  morning,  especially  when  I 
 came  to  piay  for  Zion.  I  was  free  from  that  gloomy  discourage- 
 ment which  so  often  oppresses  my  mind ;  and  my  soul  rejoiced  in 
 the  hopes  of  Zion's  prosperity,  and  the  enlargement  of  the  dear 
 kingdom  of  the  great  Redeemer.  O  that  his  kingdom  might 
 come  ! 
 
 ••  In  the  evening  chatechised.  My  people  answered  the  ques- 
 tions proposed  to  them  readily  and  distinctly;  and  I  could  per- 
 ceive that  they  advanced  in  their  knowledge  of  the  principles  of 
 Christianity.  There  appeared  an  atfcctionate  melting  in  the  as- 
 sembly at  this  time.  Several,  who  I  trust  are  truly  religious, 
 were  refreshed   and   quickened,  and  seemed   by  their  discourse 
 
 *  This  day  he  entered  the  29th  year  of  his  a^e. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  297 
 
 and  behaviour  after  public  worship  to  have  their  "hearts  knit 
 together  in  love."  This  was  a  sweet  and  blessed  season,  like 
 many  others  with  which  my  poor  people  have  been  favored  in 
 months  past.  God  has  caused  this  little  fleece  to  be  repeatedly 
 wet  with  the  blessed  dew  of  his  divine  grace,  while  all  the  earth 
 around  has  been  comparatively  dry. 
 
 ^pril  21.  "  Was  composed  and  comfortable  in  mind  most  of 
 the  day  ;  and  was  mercifully  freed  from  those  gloomy  damps 
 with  which  I  am  frequently  exercised.  Had  t>eedom  and  comfort 
 in  prayer  several  times;  and  especially  had  some  rising  hopes  of 
 Zion's  enlargement  and  prosperity.  Oh  how  refreshing  were 
 those  hopes  to  my  soul  !  Oh  that  the  kii}gdom  of  the  dear  Lord 
 might  come.  Oh  that  the  poor  Indians  might  quickly  be  gather- 
 ed in  great  numbers  ! 
 
 j^pril  22.  "  My  mind  was  remarkably  free  this  day  from  mel- 
 ancholy damps  and  glooms,  and  animated  in  my  work.  1  found 
 such  fresh  vigour  and  resolution  in  the  service  of  God,  that  the 
 mountains  seemed  to  become  a  plain  before  me.  O  blessed  be 
 God  for  an  interval  of  refreshment  and  fervent  resolution  in  my 
 Lord's  work !  In  the  evening,  my  soul  was  refreshed  in  secret 
 prayer,  and  my  heart  drawn  out  for  divine  blessings  ;  especially 
 for  the  church  of  God,  and  his  interest  among  my  own  people, 
 and  for  dear  friends  in  remote  places.  Oh  that  Zion  might  pros- 
 per and  precious  souls  be  brought  home  to  God!" 
 
 In  this  comfortable  fervent  frame  of  mind  he  remained  the  two 
 next  days. 
 
 ^pril  25.  "  Of  late  I  apprehended  that  a  number  of  persons 
 in  my  congregation  were  proper  subjects  of  ilie  ordinance  oi  ihe 
 Lord's  supper,  and  that  it  might  be  seasonable  speedily  to  admin- 
 ister it  to  them  ;  and  having  taken  advice  of  some  of  the  reverend 
 correspondents  in  this  solemn  alFair;  I  accordingly  proposed  and 
 appointed  the  next  Lord's  day,  with  leave  of  divine  providence, 
 for  the  administration  of  this  ordinance  ;  and  this  day  as  prepara- 
 tory thereto  was  set  apart  for  solemn   fasting  and  prayer, 
 
 "  The  design  of  this  preparaiory  solemnity  w  is  to  implore  the 
 blessing  of  God  upon  our  renewing  covenant  with  him,  and  with 
 one  another,  to  walk  together  in  the  fear  of  God,  in  love  and 
 christian  fcllovrship,  and  to  entreat  that  his  presence  might  be 
 with  us  in  our  designed  approach  to  his  table  ;  as  weli  as  to  hum- 
 ble ourselves  before  God  on  account  of  the  apparent  withdraw- 
 ment,  at  least  in  a  measure  of  that  blessed  influence,  which  has 
 been  so  prevalent  upon  persons  of  all  ages  among  us  ;  as  also  on 
 account  of  the  rising  appearance  of  carelessness,  and  vanity,  and 
 
 38 
 
298  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 vice  among  some,  who  some  time  since  appeared  to  be  touched 
 and  affected  with  divine  truths,  and  brought  to  some  sensibility  of 
 their  miserable  and  perishing  state  by  nature.  It  was  also  design- 
 ed that  we  might  importunately  pray  for  the  peaceable  settle- 
 ment of  the  Indians  together  in  a  body  ;  that  they  miglit  be  a  com- 
 modious congregation  for  the  worship  of  God;  and  that  God 
 would  blast  and  defeat  all  the  attempts  that  were,  or  might  be, 
 made  against  that  pious  design.* 
 
 "  The  solemnity  was  observed  and  seriously  attended,  not  only 
 by  those  who  proposed  at  the  Lord's  table,  but  by  the  whole 
 congregation  universally.  In  the  former  part  of  the  day,  I  en- 
 deavoured to  open  to  my  people  the  nature  and  design  of  a  fast, 
 as  I  had  attempted  more  briefly  to  do  before,  and  to  instruct  them 
 in  the  duties  of  such  a  solemnity.  In  the  afternoon  I  insisted  up- 
 on the  special  reasons  there  were  for  our  engaging  in  these  sol- 
 emn exercises  at  this  time  ;  both  in  regard  of  the  need  we  stood 
 in  of  divine  assistance,  in  order  to  a  due  preparation  for  that  sa- 
 cred ordinance  upon  which  some  of  us  were  proposing,  with  leave 
 of  divine  Providence  speedily  to  attend  ;  and  also  in  respect  of 
 the  manifest  decline  of  God's  work  here,  as  to  the  effectual  con- 
 viction and  conversion  of  sinners  ;  there  having  been  few  of  late 
 deeply  awakened  out  of  a  state  of  security.  The  worship  of  God 
 was  attended  with  great  solemnity  and  reverence,  with  much  ten- 
 derness and  many  tears,  by  those  who  appeared  to  be  truly  re- 
 ligious ;  and  there  was  some  appearance  of  divine  power  upon 
 those  who  had  been  awakened  some  time  before,  and  who  were 
 still  under  concern. 
 
 "  After  repeated  prayer,  and  attendance  upon  the  word  of  God, 
 I  proposed  to  the  religious  people,  with  as  much  brevity  and 
 plainness  as  I  could,  the  substance  of  the  doctrine  of  the  christian 
 faith,  as  I  had  formerly  done  previous  to  their  baptism  ;  and  had 
 their  renewed  cheerful  assent  to  it.  I  then  led  them  to  a  solemn 
 renewal  of  their  baptismal  covenant ;  wherein  they  had  explicitly 
 and  publicly  given  up  themselves  to  God  the  Father,  Son  and 
 Holy  Ghost,  avouching  him  to  be  their  God  ;  and  at  the  same 
 time  leiiouncing  their  heathenish  vanities,  their  idolatrous  and 
 superstitious  practices  ;  solemnly  engaging  to  take  the  Word  of 
 God,  so  far  as  it  was  or  might  be  made  known  to  them,  for  the 
 rule  of  their  lives  ;  promising  to  walk  together  in  love,  to  watch 
 
 *  There  was  at  this  time  a  terrible  clamour  raised  agfainst  the  Indians  in  variouf 
 places  in  the  country,  and  insinuations  as  though  I  was  training:  them  up  to  cut  peo- 
 ple's throats.  Ntimbers  wiished  to  have  them  banished  from  these  parts  and  some 
 gave  out  j:jreat  words  in  order  to  fris^ht  and  deter  them  from  settlin*  upon  the  best 
 and  most  convenient  tract  of  their  own  lands  ;  threatening"  to  trouble  them  in  the 
 law  ;  pretending  a  claim  to  these  lands  themselves,  although  never  purchased  of  the 
 Indians. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  21K? 
 
 over  themselves  and  one  another,  to  lead  lives  of  seriousness  and 
 devotion,  and  to  discharge  the  relative  duties  incumbent  on  them 
 respectively,  &c.  This  solemn  transaction  was  attended  with 
 much  gravity  and  seriousness ;  and  at  the  same  time  with  the  ut- 
 most readiness,  freedom  and  cheerfulness ;  and  a  religious  union 
 and  harmony  of  soul  seemed  to  crown  the  whole  solemnity.  I 
 could  not  but  think  in  the  evening,  that  there  had  been  manifest 
 tokens  of  the  divine  presence  with  us  in  all  the  several  services 
 of  the  day  ;  though  it  was  also  manifest  that  there  was  not  that 
 concern  among  Christless  souls  which  has  often  appeared  there. 
 
 April  26.  "  Toward  noon  prayed  with  a  dying  child,  and  gave 
 a  word  of  exhortation  to  the  bystanders  to  prepare  for  death  ; 
 which  seemed  to  take  effect  upon  some.  In  the  afternoon  dis- 
 coursed to  my  people  from  Matthew  xxvi.  26 — 30  of  the  author, 
 the  nature,  and  designs  of  the  Lord's  supper ;  and  endeavoured 
 to  point  out  the  worthy  receivers  of  that  ordinance. 
 
 "  The  religious  people  were  affected,  and  even  melted,  with 
 divine  truths, — with  a  view  of  the  dying  love  of  Christ.  Several 
 others,  who  had  been  for  some  months  under  convictions  of  their 
 perishing  state,  appeared  now  to  be  much  moved  with  concern, 
 and  afresh  engaged  in  seeking  after  an  interest  in  Christ ;  al- 
 though I  cannot  say  that  the  word  of  God  appeared  so  quick  and 
 powerful,  so  sharp  and  piercing  to  the  assembly  as  it  had  some- 
 times formerly  done.  Baptized  two  adult  persons  ;  both  serious 
 and  exemplary  in  their  lives,  and  I  hope  truly  religious.  One  of 
 them  was  the  man  particularly  mentioned  in  my  journal  of  the  6th 
 instant ;  who,  although  he  was  greatly  distressed,  because  "  he 
 had  never  done  the  will  of  God,"  has  since,  it  is  hoped,  obtained 
 spiritual  comfort  upon  good  grounds. 
 
 "  In  the  evening  I  catechised  those,  who  were  designed  to  par- 
 take of  the  Lord's  supper  the  next  day,  upon  the  institution,  na- 
 ture and  end  of  that  ordinance  ;  and  had  abundant  satisfaction 
 respecting  their  doctrinal  knowledge  and  fitness  in  that  respect 
 for  an  attendance  upon  it.  They  likewise  appeared  in  general 
 to  have  an  affecting  sense  of  the  solemnity  of  this  sacred  ordi- 
 nance, and  to  be  humbled  under  a  sense  of  their  own  unworthi- 
 ness  to  approach  to  God  in  it  ;  and  to  be  earnestly  concerned 
 that  they  might  be  duly  prepared  for  an  attendance  upon  it. — 
 Their  hearts  were  full  of  love  one  toward  another,  and  that  was 
 the  frame  of  mind  which  they  seemed  concerned  to  maintain  and 
 bring  to  the  Lord's  table  with  them.  In  the  singing  and  prayer 
 after  catechising,  there  appeared  an  agreeable  tenderness  and 
 melting  among  them ;  and  such  tokens  of  brotherly  love  and  af- 
 fection, as  would  even  constrain  one  to  say  "  Lord,  it  is  good  to 
 be  here  ;"  it  is  good  to  dwell  where  such  an  heavenly  influence 
 distils. 
 
300  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINEHD. 
 
 Lord's  day,  April  27.  "Preached  from  Tit.  ii,  14,  '^  Who 
 gave  himself  for  us,"  &;c.  The  word  of  God,  at  this  time,  was 
 attended  with  some  appearance  of  divine  power  upon  the  assem- 
 bly: so  that  the  attention  and  gravity  of  the  audience  were  re- 
 markable ;  and  especially  towards  the  conclusion  of  the  exercise, 
 divers  persons  were  much  aifected.  Administered  the  sacrament 
 of  the  Lord's  supper  to  tiventy  three  persons  of  the  Indians,  the 
 number  of  the  men  and  women  being  nearly  equal;  several  oth- 
 ers, to  the  number  o{  Jive  or  six^  being  now  absent  at  the  Forks 
 of  Delaware,  who  would  otherwise  have  communed  with  us. 
 The  ordinance  was  attended  with  great  solemnity,  and  with  a 
 most  desirable  tenderness  and  affection.  It  was  remarkable  that 
 in  the  season  of  the  performance  of  the  sacramental  actions,  es- 
 pecially in  the  distribution  of  the  bread,  they  seemed  to  be  affect- 
 ed in  a  most  lively  manner,  as  if  Christ  had  been  really  crucified 
 before  them.  The  words  of  the  institution,  when  repeated  and 
 enlarged  upon  in  the  season  of  the  administration,  seemed  to 
 meet  with  the  same  reception,  to  be  entertained  with  the  same 
 free  and  full  belief  and  affectionate  engagement  of  soul,  as  if  the 
 Lord  Jesus  Christ  himself  had  been  present,  and  had  personally 
 spoken  to  them.  The  affections  of  the  communicants,  although 
 considerably  raised,  were,  notwithstanding,  agreeably  regulated 
 and  kept  within  proper  bounds.  So  that  there  was  a  sweet,  gen- 
 tle, and  affectionate  melting  without  any  indecent  or  boisterous 
 commotion  of  the  passions. 
 
 "  Having  rested  sometime  after  the  administration  of  the  sa- 
 crament, being  extremely  tired  with  the  necessary  prolixity  of 
 the  work,  I  walked  from  house  to  house,  and  conversed  particu- 
 larly with  most  of  the  communicants,  and  found  they  had  been  al- 
 most universally  refreshed  at  the  Lord's  table,  "  as  with  new 
 wine."  Never  did  1  see  such  an  appearance  of  Christian  love 
 among  any  people  in  all  my  life.  It  was  so  remarkable,  that  one 
 might  well  have  cried  with  an  agreeable  surprise,  ''  Behold  how 
 they  love  one  another."  I  think  there  could  be  no  greater  to- 
 kens of  mutual  affection  among  the  people  of  God,  in  the  early 
 days  of  Christianity,  than  what  now  appeared  here.  The  sight 
 was  so  desirable,  and  so  well  becoming  the  gospel,  that  nothing 
 less  could  be  said  of  it  than  that  it  was  "  the  doing  of  the  Lord," 
 the  genuine  operation  of  Him,  "  who  is  Love." 
 
 "Toward  night  discoursed  again  on  the  forementioned  text, 
 Tit.  ii.  14;  and  insisted  on  the  immediate  end  and  design  of 
 Christ's  death  :  viz.  That  he  might  redeem  his  people  from  all 
 iniquity,  &c.  This  appeared  to  be  a  season  of  divine  power 
 among  us.  The  religious  people  were  much  refreshed,  and  seem- 
 ed   remarkably   tender  and   affectionate,    full   of  love,  joy,  and 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  30i 
 
 peace,  and  desirous  of  being  completely  "  redeemed  from  all  in- 
 iquity ;''  so  that  some  of  tliem  afterwards  told  me  that  "  they 
 had  never  felt  the  like  before."  Convictions  also  appeared  to 
 be  revived  in  many  instances  ;  and  several  persons  were  awaken- 
 ed, whom  I  had  never  observed  under  any  r^ligioAis  impressions 
 before. 
 
 "  Such  was  the  influence  which  attended  our  assembly,  and 
 so  unspeakably  desirable  the  frame  of  mind  which  many  enjoyed 
 in  divine  service,  that  it  seemed  almost  grievous  to  conclude  the 
 public  worship.  The  congregation,  when  dismissed,  although  it 
 was  then  almost  dark,  appeared  loth  to  leave  the  place,  and 
 employments  which  had  been  rendered  so  dear  to  them  by  the 
 benefits  enjoyed,  while  a  blessed  quickening  influence  distilled 
 upon  them.  Upon  the  whole,  I  must  say,  I  had  great  satisfaction 
 relative  to  the  administration  of  thisordinancein  various  respects. 
 I  have  abundant  reason  to  think,  that  those  who  came  to  the 
 Lord's  table  had  a  good  degree  of  doctrinal  knowledge  of  the 
 nature  and  design  of  the  ordinance,  and  that  they  acted  with  un- 
 derstanding in  what  they  did. 
 
 "In  the  preparatory  services^  I  found,  I  may  justly  say,  uncom- 
 mon freedom  in  opening  to  their  understandings  and  capacities^ 
 the  covenant  of  grace,  and  in  shewing  them  the  nature  of  this  or- 
 dinance as  a  seal  of  that  covenant;  although  many  of  them  knew 
 of  no  such  thing  as  a  seal^  before  my  coming  among  them,  or  at 
 least,  of  the  use  and  design  of  it  in  the  common  affairs  of  life. 
 They  were  likewise  thoroughly  sensible,  that  it  was  no  more  than 
 a  seal,  or  sign,  and  not  the  real  body  and  blood  of  Christ ;  that  it 
 was  designed  for  the  refreshment  and  edification  of  the  soul,  and 
 not  for  the  feasting  of  the  body.  They  were  also  acquainted 
 with  the  end  of  the  ordinance,  that  they  were  therein  called  to 
 commemorate  the  dying  love  of  Christ. 
 
 "This  competency  of  doctrinal  knowledge,  together  with  their 
 grave  and  decent  attendance  upon  the  ordinance,  their  affection- 
 ate melting  under  it,  and  the  sweet  and  christian  frame  of  mind 
 which  they  discovered  after  it,  gave  me  great  satisfaction  respect- 
 ing my  administration  of  it  to  them.  O,  what  a  sweet  and  blessed 
 season  was  this!  God  himself,  I  am  persuaded,  was  in  the  midst 
 of  his  people,  attending  on  his  own  ordinance.  I  doubt  not  but 
 many,  in  the  conclusion  of  the  day,  could  say  with  their  whole 
 hearts,  "Verily,  a  day  thus  spent  in  God's  house,  is  better  than  a 
 thousand  elsewhere."  There  seemed  to  be  but  one  heart  among 
 the  pious  people.  The  sweet  union,  harmony  and  endearing 
 love  and  tenderness  subsisting  among  them  was,  I  thought,  the 
 most  lively  emblem  of  the  heavenly  world,  which  I  had  ever 
 seen. 
 
302  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 April  28.  •'  Concluded  the  sacramental  solemnity  with  a  dis- 
 course upon  John  xiv.  15.  "  If  ye  love  me,  keep  my  command- 
 ments." At  this  time  there  appeared  a  very  agreeable  tender- 
 ness in  the  audience  in  general,  but  especially  in  the  communi- 
 cants. O,  how  free,  how  engaged  and  affectionate  did  these  ap- 
 pear in  the  service  of  God!  they  seemed  willing  to  have  their 
 ears  bored  to  the  door  posts  of  God's  house,  and  to  be  his  servants 
 forever. 
 
 "  Observing  numbers  in  this  excellent  frame,  and  the  assembly 
 in  general  affected,  and  that  by  a  divine  influence,  I  thought  it 
 proper  to  improve  this  advantageous  season  as  Hezekiah  did  the 
 desirable  season  of  hisgreat  passover,  2  Chron.31,  in  order  to 
 promote  the  blessed  reformation  begun  among  them  ;  and  to  en- 
 gage those  that  appeared  serious  and  religious  to  persevere  there- 
 in. Accordingly  1  proposed  to  them,  that  they  should  njnewedly 
 enter  into  covenant  before  God,  that  they  would  w^atch  over 
 themselves  and  one  another,  lest  they  should  dishonour  the  name 
 of  Christ,  by  falling  into  sinful  and  unbecoming  practices;  and 
 especially  that  they  would  watch  against  the  sin  of  drunkenness, 
 "the  sin  that  most  easily  besets  them,"  and  the  temptations  lead- 
 ing thereto,  as  well  as  the  appearance  of  evil  in  that  respect. 
 They  cheerfully  complied  with  the  proposal,  and  explicitly  joined 
 in  that  covenant ;  whereupon  I  proceeded  in  the  most  solemn 
 manner  of  which  I  was  capable,  to  call  God  to  witness  respecting 
 their  sacred  engagements,  and  reminded  them  of  the  greatness  of 
 the  guilt  they  would  contract  to  themselves  in  the  violation  of  it, 
 as  well  as  observed  to  them  that  God  would  be  a  terrible  witness 
 against  those  who  should  presume  to  do  so  in  the  great  and  nota- 
 ble day  of  the  Lord.  It  was  a  season  of  amazing  solemnity  ;  and 
 a  divine  awe  appeared  upon  the  face  of  the  whole  assembly  in 
 this  transaction.  Affectionate  sobs,  sighs  and  tears  were  now 
 frequent  in  the  audience;  and  I  doubt  not  but  that  many  silent 
 cries  were  then  sent  up  to  the  Fountain  of  grace  for  supplies  of 
 grace  sufficient  for  the  fulfilment  of  these  solemn  engagements. 
 Baptized  six  children  this  day." 
 
 On  Tuesday,  April  29,  he  went  to  Elizabeth  Town  to  attend 
 the  meeting  of  the  Presbytery  ;  and  seemed  to  spend  the  time 
 while  absent  from  his  people  on  this  occasion,  in  a  free  and  com- 
 fortable state  of  mind. 
 
 Cranberry,  JV*.  J,  May,   1746. 
 
 May  3.  "Rode  from  Elizabeth  Town  home  to  my  people  at 
 Qv  near  Cranberry  ;  whither  they  are  now  removed,  and  where  I 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  303 
 
 hope  God  will  settle  them  as  a  christian  congregation.  Was  re- 
 freshed in  lifting  up  my  heart  to  God,  while  riding,  and  enjoyed 
 a  thankful  frame  of  spirit  for  divine  favours  received  the  week 
 past. 
 
 "  Was  somewhat  uneasy  and  dejected  in  the  evening;  having 
 no  house  of  my  own  to  go  to  in  this  place;  but  God  was  my  sup- 
 port. ' 
 
 Lord'^s  day^  May  4.  ''  My  people  being  now  removed  to  their 
 lands,  mentioned  in  my  diary  of  March  24,  where  they  were 
 then  and  have  since  been  making  provision  for  a  compact  settle- 
 ment, in  order  to  their  more  convenient  enjoyment  of  the  gospel 
 and  other  means  of  instruction,  as  well  as  of  the  comforts  of  life  ; 
 I  this  day  visited  them  ;  being  now  obliged  to  board  with  an  Eng- 
 lish family  at  some  distance  from  them;  and  preached  to  them  in 
 the  forenoon  from  Mark  iv.  5.  "  And  some  fell  upon  stony  ground." 
 &;c.  Endeavoured  to  shew  them  the  reason  there  was  to  fear, 
 lest  many  promising  appearances  and  hopeful  beginnings  in  reli- 
 gion, might  prove  abortive,  like  the  seed  dropped  upon  stony 
 places. 
 
 "  In  the  afternoon  discoursed  upon  Rom.  viii.  9.  "Now,  if  any 
 man  have  not  the  spirit  of  Christ,  he  is  none  of  his."  I  have 
 reason  to  think  this  discourse  was  peculiarly  seasonable,  and  that 
 it  had  a  good  effect  upon  some  of  the  hearers.  Spent  some  hours 
 afterwards  in  private  conference  with  my  people,  and  laboured  to 
 regulate  some  things  which  I  apprehended  amiss  among  some  of 
 them. 
 
 May  5.  "Visited  my  people  again,  and  took  care  of  their 
 worldly  concerns  ;  giving  them  directions  relating  to  their  busi- 
 ness. I  daily  discover  more  and  more  of  what  importance  it  is  jy 
 likely  to  be  to  their  religious  interests,  that  Ihey  become  labori- 
 ous and  industrious,  acquainted  with  the  affairs  of  husbandry, 
 and  able  in  a  good  measure  to  raise  the  necessaries  and  comforts 
 of  life  within  themselves;  for  their  present  method  of  living 
 greatly  exposes  them  to  temptations  of  various  kinds. 
 
 May,  6.  "  Enjoyed  some  spirit  and  courage  in  my  work  ;  was 
 in  a  good  measure  free  from  melancholy  :  blessed  be  God  for 
 freedom  from  this  death. 
 
 May  7.  "  Spent  most  of  the  day  in  writing  as  usual.  Enjoyed 
 some  freedom  in  my  work.  Was  favoured  with  some  comforta- 
 ble meditations  this  day.  In  the  evening  was  in  a  sweet  compo- 
 sed frame  of  mind  :  was  pleased  and  delighted  to  leave  all  with 
 God  respecting  myself,  for  time  and  eternity,  and  respecting  the 
 people  of  my  charge,  and  dear  friends.  Had  no  doubt  butthat 
 God  would  take   care   of  me  and  of  his   own  interest  among  m^: 
 
304  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 people  ;  and  was  enabled  to  use  freedom  in  prayer  as  a  child  with 
 a  tender  father.     O  how  sweet  is  such  a  frame  ! 
 
 May  8.  *'  In  the  evening,  was  somewhat  refreshed  with  divine 
 things,  and  enjoyed  a  tender  melting  frame  in  secret  prater  ; 
 wherein  my  soul  was  drawn  out  for  the  interests  of  Zion,  and 
 comforted  with  the  lively  hope  of  the  appearing  of  the  great  Re- 
 deemer. These  were  sweet  moments;  I  felt  almost  loth  to  go 
 to  bed,  and  grieved  that  sleep  was  necessary.  However,  I  lay 
 down  with  a  tender  reverential  fear  of  God,  sensible  that  his  fa- 
 vour is  life,  and  his  smiles  better  than  all  that  earth  can  boast  of, 
 infinitely  better  than  life  itself. 
 
 May  9.  "  Preached  from  John  5,  40.  "  And  ye  will  not  come 
 to  me,"  Sic.  in  the  open  wilderness  ;  the  Indians  having  as  yet  no 
 house  for  public  worship  in  this  place,  nor  scarcely  any  shelters 
 for  themselves.  Divine  truths  made  considerable  impressions 
 upon  the  audience,  and  it  was  a  season  of  great  solemnity,  tender- 
 ness and  affection. 
 
 "  Baptized  one  man  this  day,  the  conjurer,  murderer,  &;c. 
 mentioned  in  my  diary  of  Aug.  8,  1745,  and  Feb.  1,  1746,  who 
 appears  to  be  such  a  remarkable  instance  of  divine  grace,  that  I 
 cannot  omit  to  give  seme  brief  account  of  him  here.  He  lived 
 near,  and  sometimes  attended  my  meeting,  at  the  Forks  of  Dela- 
 ware, for  more  than  a  year  together  ;  but  was,  hke  many  others  of 
 them,  extremely  attached  to  strong  drink,  and  seemed  to  be  in  no 
 degree  reformed  by  the  means  w^hich  I  used  with  them  for  their  in- 
 struction and  conversion.  At  this  time  he  likewise  murdered  a 
 likely  young  Indian,  which  threw  him  into  some  kind  of  horror  and 
 desperation,  so  that  he  kept  at  a  distance  from  me,  and  refused  to 
 hear  me  preach  for  several  months  together,  until  I  had  an  oppor- 
 tunity of  conversing  freely  with  him,  and  giving  him  encourage- 
 ment, that  his  sin  might  be  forgiven,  for  Christ's  sake.  After 
 this  he  again  attended  my  meeting  sometimes. 
 
 *'  But  that  which  was  the  worst  of  all  his  conduct,  was  his  con- 
 juration. He  was  oho  of  those  who  are  sometimes  called  powaws, 
 among  the  Indians  ;  and,  notwithstanding  his  frequent  attendance 
 upon  my  preaching,  he  still  followed  his  old  charms  and  juggling 
 tricks,  ''  giving  out  that  himself  was  some  great  one,  and  to  him 
 they  gave  heed,"  supposing  him  to  be  possessed  of  great  power. 
 When  I  have  instructed  them  respecting  the  miracle  wrought  by 
 Christ  in  healing  the  sick,  and  mentioned  them  as  evidence  of  his 
 divine  mission,  and  the  truths  of  his  doctrine  ;  they  have  quickly 
 observed  the  wonders  of  that  kind,  which  this  man  had  perform- 
 ed by  his  magic  charms.  Hence  they  had  a  high  opinion  of  him 
 and  his  superstitious  notions  ;  which  seemed  to  be  a  fatal  obstruc- 
 tion to  some  of  them  in  regard  to  their  receiving  the  Gospel.     I 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  306 
 
 have  often  thought  that  it  would  be  a  great  favour  to  the  design  of 
 evangelizing  these  Indians,  if  God  would  take  that  wretch  out  of 
 the  world  ;  for  I  had  scarcely  any  hope  of  his  ever  becoming 
 good.  But  God,  whose  thoughts  are  not  as  man's  thoutjhts,  has 
 been  pleased  to  take  a  much  moie  desirable  method  with  him  ;  a 
 method  agreeable  to  his  own  merciful  nature,  and  I  trust  advan- 
 tageous to  his  own  interest  among  the  Indians,  as  well  as  effectu- 
 al to  the  salvation  of  his  poor  soul.  I'o  God  be  the  glory  of  it. 
 "  The  first  genuine  concern  for  his  soul,  that  ever  appeared  in 
 him,  was  excited  by  seeing  my  Interpreter  and  his  wife  baptised  at 
 the  Forks  of  Delaware,  July  21,  1745.  Which  so  prevailed  upon 
 him,  that  with  the  invitation  of  an  Indian  who  was  a  friend  to 
 Christianity,  he  followed  me  down  to  Crossweeksung,  in  the  be- 
 ginning of  August,  following  in  order,  to  hear  me  preach;  and  there 
 continued  for  several  weeks  in  the  season  of  the  most  remarkable 
 and  powerful  awakening  among  the  Indians  ;  at  which  time  he 
 was  more  effectually  awakened,  and  brought  under  great  concern 
 for  his  soul.  And  then  he  says,  upon  his  "  feeling  the  word  of 
 God  in  his  heart,"  as  he  expresses  it,  his  spirit  of  conjuration  left 
 him  entirely,  so  that  he  has  had  no  more  power  of  that  nature 
 since,  than  any  other  man  living.  He  also  declares,  that  he  does 
 not  now  so  much  as  know,  how  he  used  to  charm  and  conjure,  and 
 that  he  could  not  now  do  atiy  thing  of  that  nature  if  he  were  ever 
 so  desirous  of  it. 
 
 ''  He  continued  under  convictions  of  his  sinful  and  perishing 
 state,  and  a  considerable  degree  of  concern  for  his  soul,  all  the  fali 
 and  former  part  of  the  winter  past  ;  but  was  not  so  deeply  exer- 
 cised until  some  time  in  January.  Then  the  word  of  God  took 
 such  hold  upon  him,  that  he  was  brought  into  deep  distress,  and 
 knew  not  what  to  do,  nor  where  to  turn  himself.  He  then  told 
 me,  that  when  he  used  to  hear  me  preach  from  time  to  time  in  the 
 fall  of  the  year,  my  preaching  pricked  his  heart,  and  made  him 
 very  uneasy,  but  did  not  bring  him  to  so  great  distress,  because 
 he  still  hoped  he  could  d(5  something  for  his  own  relief;  but  now 
 he  said,  I  drove  him  up  in  such  a  sharp  corner,  that  he  had  no 
 way  to  turn  and  could  not  avoid  being  in  distress.  He  continued 
 constantly  under  the  heavy  burden  and  pressure  of  a  wounded 
 spirit,  until  at  length  he  was  brought  into  the  acute  anguish  and 
 utmost  agony  of  soul,  mentioned  in  my  Journal  of  Feb.  1st, 
 which  continued  that  night  and  part  of  the  next  day.  After  this 
 he  was  brought  to  the  utmost  calmness  and  composure  of  mind  ; 
 his  trembling  and  heavy  burden  were  removed  ;  and  he  appeared 
 perfectly  sedate,  although  he  had  to  his  apprehensions  scarcely 
 any  hope  of  salvation. 
 
 39 
 
306  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 "  I  observed  him  to  appear  remarkably  composed  ;  and  there- 
 upon asked  him  how  he  did  ?  He  replied,  *'  It  is  done,  it  is  done, 
 it  is  all  done  now."  I  asked  him  what  he  meant  ?  He  answer- 
 ed, "  I  can  never  do  any  more  to  save  myself;  it  is  all  done  for 
 ever.  I  can  do  no  more."  I  queried  with  him,  whether  he  could 
 not  do  a  little  more,  rather  than  go  to  hell  /  He  rephed  "'  my 
 heart  is  dead.  I  can  never  help  myself."  I  asked  him  what  he 
 thought  would  become  of  him  then  ?  He  answered,  '^  I  must  go 
 to  hell."  I  asked  him  if  he  thought  it  was  right,  that  God  should 
 send  him  to  hell  ?  He  replied,  "  O  it  is  right.  The  devil  has 
 been  in  me  ever  since  I  was  born."  I  asked  him  if  he  felt  this 
 when  he  was  in  such  great  distress  the  evening  before  ?  He  ans- 
 w^ered,  "  No  ;  I  did  not  then  think  it  was  right.  I  thought  God 
 would  send  me  to  hell,  and  that  I  was  then  dropping  into  it;  but 
 my  heart  quarrelled  with  God,  and  would  not  say  it  was  right  he 
 should  send  me  there.  But  now  1  know  it  is  right ;  for  I  have  al- 
 ways served  the  devil  ;  and  my  heart  has  no  goodness  in  it  now  ; 
 but  it  is  as  bad  as  ever  it  was,  &lc.  I  thought  I  had  scarcely  ever 
 seen  any  person  more  effectually  brought  off  from  a  dependance 
 upon  his  own  contrivances  and  endeavours  for  salvation,  or  more 
 apparently  to  lie  at  the  foot  of  sovereign  mercy,  than  this  man 
 did  under  these  views  of  things. 
 
 "Jn  this  frame  of  mind  he  confined  for  several  days,  passing 
 sentence  of  condemnation  upon  himself,  and  constantly  owning 
 that  it  would  be  right  he  should  be  damned,  and  that  he  expected 
 this  would  be  his  portion  for  the  greatness  of  his  sins.  Yet  it 
 was  plain  that  he  had  a  secret  hope  of  mercy,  though  impercep- 
 tible to  himself,  which  kept  him  not  only  from  depair  but  from 
 any  pressing  distress  :  so  that,  instead  of  being  sad  and  dejected, 
 his  very  countenance  appeared  pleasant  and  agreeable. 
 
 "While  he  was  in  this  frame,  he  several  times  asked  me, 
 "  When  I  would  preach  again?"  and  seemed  desirous  to  hear  the 
 word  of  God  every  day.  I  asked,  "  Why  he  wanted  to  hear  me 
 preach,  seeing  his  heart  was  dead,  and  all  was  done  ;  that  he 
 could  never  help  himself,  and  expected  that  he  must  go  to  hell  ?" 
 Fie  replied,  "  I  love  to  hear  you  speak  about  Christ  for  all."  I 
 added,  "  But  what  good  will  that  do  you,  if  you  must  go  to  hell 
 at  last?"— using  now  his  own  language  with  him,  having  before  from 
 time  to  time  laboured  in  the  best  manner  I  could  to  represent  to 
 him  the  excellency  of  Christ,  his  all-sufliiciency  and  willingness 
 to  save  lost  sinners,  and  persons  just  in  his  case  ;  although  to  no 
 purpose,  as  to  yielding  him  any  special  comfort.  He  answered, 
 "  I  would  have  others  come  to  Christ,  if  I  must  go  to  hell  my- 
 self." It  was  remarkable,  that  he  seemed  to  have  a  great  love 
 for  the  people  of  God  ;  and  nothing  affected  him  so  much  as  be- 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  307 
 
 ing  separated  from  them.  This  seemed  to  be  a  very  dreadful  part 
 of  the  hell  to  wliich  he  saw  himself  doomed.  It  was  likewise  re- 
 markable, that  in  this  season  he  was  most  diligent  in  the  use  of 
 all  the  means  for  the  soul's  salvation  ;  although  he  had  the 
 clearest  view  of  the  insufficiency  of  means  to  alford  him 
 help.  He  would  frequently  say,  That  all  he  did  signified 
 nothing  at  all;  and  yet  was  never  more  constant  in  doing; 
 attending  secret  and  family  prayer  daily ;  and  surprisingly 
 diligent  and  attentive  in  hearing  the  word  of  God;  so  that  he 
 neither  despaired  of  mercy,  nor  yet  presumed  to  hope  upon  his 
 own  doings,  but  used  means  because  appointed  of  God  in  order 
 to  salvation  ;  and  because  he  would  wait  upon  God  in  his  own 
 way. 
 
 "  After  he  had  continued  in  this  frame  of  mind  more  than  a 
 week,  while  1  was  discoursing  publicly,  he  seemed  to  have  a 
 lively  soul-refreshing  view  of  the  excellency  of  Christ  and  the 
 way  of  salvation  by  him  ;  which  melted  him  into  tears,  and  filled 
 him  with  admiration,  comfort,  satisfaction  and  praise  to  God. 
 Since  then,  he  has  appeared  to  be  a  humble,  devout  and  affec- 
 tionate christian  ;  serious  and  exemplary  in  his  conversation  and 
 behaviour,  frequently  complaining  of  his  barrenness,  his  want  of 
 spiritual  warmth,  life  and  activity,  and  yet  frequently  favoured 
 with  quickening  and  refreshing  influences.  In  all  respects,  so 
 far  as  I  am  capable  of  judging,  he  bears  the  marks  of  one  "  crea* 
 ted  anew  in  Christ  Jesus  to  good  works." 
 
 "  His  zeal  for  the  cause  of  God  was  pleasing  to  me,  when  he 
 was  with  me  at  the  Forks  of  Delaware  in  February  last.  There 
 being  an  old  Indian  at  the  place  where  I  preached,  who  threat- 
 ened to  bewitch  me,  and  my  religious  people  who  accompanied 
 me  there;  this  man  presently  challenged  him  to  do  his  worst; 
 telling  him  that  himself  had  been  as  great  a  conjuror  as  he  ;  and 
 that  not  withstanding,  as  soon  as  he  felt  that  word  to  his  lieart 
 which  these  people  loved,  meaning  the  word  of  God,  his  power 
 of  conjuring  immediately  left  him.  ''  And  so  it  would  you,"  said 
 he,  "  if  you  did  but  once  (eel  it  in  your  heart ;  and  you  have  no 
 power  to  hurt  them,  nor  so  much  as  to  touch  one  of  them."  &;c. 
 So  that  I  may  conclude  my  account  of  him,  by  observing,  in  allu- 
 lusion  to  what  was  said  of  St.  Paul,  that  he  now  zealously  "  de- 
 fends and  practically  preaches  the  faith  which  he  once  destroyed," 
 or  at  least  was  instrumental  of  obstructing.  May  God  have  the 
 glory  of  the  amazing  change  which  he  has  wrought  in  him  ! 
 
 May  10.  ''Rode  to  Allen's-town  to  assist  in  the  administra- 
 tion of  the  Lord's  supper.  In  the  afternoon,  preached  from  Ti- 
 tus ii.  14.  Who  gave  himself  for  us,  ojc.  God  was  pleased  to 
 carry  me  through,   and  to  grant   me  some  fieedom  ;  and  yet  tp 
 
303  MEJMOIUS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 deny  me  that  enlargement  and  power  for  which  I  longed.  In  the 
 evening  my  soul  mourned  and  could  not  but  mourn,  that  I  had 
 treated  so  excellent  a  subject  in  so  defective  a  manner  ;  that 
 I  had  borne  so  broken  a  testimony  for  so  worthy  and  glorious  a 
 Redeemer.  If  my  discourse  had  met  with  the  utmost  applause 
 from  all  the  world,  it  would  not  have  given  me  any  satisfaction. 
 Oh,  it  grieved  me  to  think,  that  1  had  no  more  holy  warmth  and 
 fervency,  that  I  had  been  no  more  meltedin  discoursing  of  Christ's 
 death  and  the  end  and  design  of  it !  Afterwards  enjoyed  some 
 freedom  and  fervency  in  family  and  secret  prayer,  and  longed 
 much  for  the  presence  of  God  to  attend  his  word  and  ordinances 
 the  next  day. 
 
 LordPs  day^  May   11.     "  Assisted  in  the  administration  of  the 
 Lord's  supper  ;  but  enjoyed  but  little  enlargement :   was  grieved 
 and  sunk  with  some  things,  which  I  thought  undesirable,  k,c.    In 
 the  afternoon  went  to  the  house  of  God,  weak  and  sick  in  soul, 
 as  well  as   feeble  in  body,  and   longed  that  the  people  might  be 
 entertained  and  edified  with  divine  truths,  and  that  an  honest, 
 fervent  testimony  might  be  borne  for  God  ;  but  knew  not  how  it 
 was  possible  for  me  to  do  any  thing  of  that  kind  to  any  good  pur- 
 pose.    Yet  God,  who  is  rich  in  mercy,  was  pleased  to  give  me 
 assistance  both  in  prayer  and  preaching.     God  helped   me    to 
 wrestle  for  his  presence  in   prayer,  and  to  tell  him  that  he  had 
 promised,   ''  Where  (wo  or  three  are   met  together  in  his   name, 
 there  he  would  be  in  the  midst  of  (hem  ;"  and  (hat  we  were,  at 
 least  some  of  us,  so  met ;  and  pleaded  that  for  his   truth's  sake 
 he  would  be  with  us.     Blessed  be  God,  it  was  sweet  to  my  soul, 
 thus  to  plead  and  rely  on  God's  promises.  Discoursed  upon  Luke 
 ix.  30,  31.     And  behold  there  talked  luith  him  two  men,  zvhich  were 
 Moses  and  Elias,  who  appeared  in  glory ^  and  spake  of  his  decease^ 
 which  he  should  accomplish  at  Jerusalem,      Enjoyed   special   free- 
 dom from  the   be<j:;inning   to  the  end  of  my  discourse  without  in- 
 terruption.    Things  pertinent   to  the   subject  were    abundantly 
 presented  to  my  view,  and  such  a  fulness  of  matter,  that  I  scarce 
 knew  how  to  dismiss  the  various  heads  and  particulars  I  had  occa- 
 sion to  touch  upon.     Blessed   be  the  Lord,  I  was  favored    with 
 some  fervency  and  power,  as  well  as  freedom  ;  so  that  the  word 
 of  God  seemed   to  awaken  the  attention  of  a  stupid  audience  to 
 a  considerable  degree.     I  was  inwardly  refreshed  with   the  con- 
 solations of  God   and   could  with  my  whole  heart  say,   '*  Though 
 there  be  no  fruit  in  the  vine,  &c.  yet  will   J  rejoice  in  the  Lord." 
 After  public  service,  was   refreshed  with  the  sweet  conversation 
 some  Christian  friends." 
 
 The  four  next  days  seem  to  have  been  mostly  spent  with  spirit- 
 ual comfort  and  profit. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  309 
 
 May  16.  "  Near  night  enjoyed  some  agreeable  and  sweet  con- 
 versation with  a  dear  minister;  which  was,  I  trust,  blessed  to  my 
 soul.  My  heart  was  warmed,  and  my  soul  engaged  to  live  to 
 God  ;  so  that  I  longed  to  exert  myself  with  more  vigour  than  ever 
 I  had  done  in  his  cause  ;  and  those  words  were  quickening  to  me, 
 "Herein  is  my  Father  glorified,  that  ye  bring  forth  much  fruit." 
 Oh,  my  soul  longed,  and  wished,  and  prayed  to  be  enabled  to  live 
 to  God  with  the  utmost  constancy  and  ardour!  In  the  evening, 
 God  was  pleased  to  shine  mpon  me  in  secret  prayer,  and  draw 
 out  my  soul  after  himself;  and  I  had  freedom  in  supplication  for 
 myself,  but  much  more  in  intercession  for  others  :  so  that  I  was 
 sweetly  constrained  to  say,  ''  Lord,  use  me  as  thou  wilt ;  do  as 
 thou  wilt  with  me  :  but,  O,  promote  thine  own  cause  !  Zion  is 
 thine  ;  Oh,  visit  thine  heritage  !  Let  thy  kingdom  come!  Oh,  let 
 thy  blessed  interest  be  advanced  in  the  world."  When  I  attemp- 
 ed  to  look  to  God  respecting  my  worldly  circumstances,  and  his 
 providential  dealings  With  me  relative  to  my  settling  down  in  my 
 congregation  ;  which  seems  to  be  necessary,  and  yet  very  difficult 
 and  contrary  to  my  fixed  intentions  for  years  past,  as  well  as  to 
 my  disposition,  which  has  been  and  still  is,  at  times  especially, 
 to  go  forth,  and  spend  my  life  in  preaching  the  gospel  from 
 place  to  place,  and  gathering  souls  afar  off  to  Jesus  the  great  Re- 
 deemer ;  1  could  only  say,  "The  will  of  the  Lord  be  done  ;  it  is 
 no  matter  for  me."  The  same  frame  of  mind,  I  felt,  with  regard 
 to  another  important  aflfair,  of  which  I  have  lately  had  some  seri- 
 ous thoughts.  I  could  say,  with  the  utmost  calmness  and  compo- 
 sure, "  Lord,  if  it  be  most  for  thy  glory,  let  me  proceed  in  it  ; 
 but,  if  thou  seest  it  will  in  any  wise  hinder  my  usefulness  in  thy 
 cause,  Oh  prevent  me  from  proceeding;  for  all  I  want  respect- 
 ing this  world  is  such  circumstances  as  may  best  capacitate  me  to 
 do  service  for  God  in  the  world."  But,  blessed  be  God  !  I  enjoy- 
 ed liberty  in  prayer  for  my  dear  flock,  and  was  enabled  to  pour 
 out  my  soul  into  the  bosom  of  a  tender  Father.  My  heart  within 
 me  was  meited,  when  I  came  to  plead  for  my  dear  people  and  for 
 the  kingdom  of  Christ  in  general.  Oh,  how  sweet  was  this  eve- 
 ning to  my  soul !  I  knew  not  how  to  go  to  bed  ;  and  when  I  got  to 
 bed,  longed  for  some  way  to  improve  time  for  God  to  some  excel- 
 lent purpose.     Bless  the  Lord,  O  my  soul  ! 
 
 May  17.  "  Walked  out  in  the  morning,  and  felt  much  of  the 
 same  frame  which  I  enjoyed  the  evening  before  ;  had  my  heart 
 enlarged  in  praying  for  the  advancement  of  the  kingdom  of 
 Christ,  and  found  the  utmost  freedom  in  leaving  all  my  concerns 
 v^^ith  God. 
 
 "  I  find  discouragement  to  be  an  exceeding  hindrance  to  my 
 spiritual  fervency  and  afiection  j  but,  when  God  enables  me  sens- 
 
310  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 ibly  to  find  that  I  have  done  sonrtething  for  him,  this  refreshes  and 
 animates  me,  so  that  I  could  break  through  all  hardships,  and  un- 
 dergo any  labours,  and  nothing  seems  too  much  either  to  do  or 
 to  suffer.  But  Oh,  what  a  death  it  is  to  strive  and  strive;  to  be 
 always  in  a  hurry^  and  yet  do  nothings  or  at  least,  nothing  for 
 God!  Alas,  alas,  that  time  flies  away,  and  I  do  so  little  for 
 God  ! 
 
 Lord'^s  Day,  May  18th.  I  felt  my  own  utter  insufficiency  for 
 my  work  :  God  made  me  to  see,  that  I  was  a  child;  yea  that  I 
 was  a  fool,  I  discoursed  both  parts  of  the  day  from  Rev.  iii.  20, 
 "  Behold  I  stand  at  the  door  and  knock."  God  gave  me  freedom 
 and  power  in  the  latter  part  of  my  forenoon's  discourse  :  although, 
 in  the  former  part  of  it  1  felt  peevish  and  provoked  with  the  un- 
 mannerly behaviour  of  the  ii'/nVe  people,  who  crowded  in  between 
 my  people  and  me  ;  which  proved  a  great  temptation  to  me. 
 But,  blessed  be  God  !  I  got  these  shackles  off,  before  the  middle 
 of  my  discourse,  and  was  favored  with  a  sweet  frame  of  spirit  in 
 the  latter  part  of  the  exercise  ;  was  full  of  love,  wormth  and  ten- 
 derness in  addressing  my  dear  people.  There  appears  some  af- 
 fectionate melting  towards  the  conclusion  of  the  forenoon  exer- 
 cise, and  one  or  two  instances  of  fresh  awakening.  In  the  inter- 
 mission of  public  worship  I  took  occasion  to  discourse  to  numbers, 
 in  a  more  private  way,  on  the  kindness  and  patience  of  the  bless- 
 ed Redeemer  in  standing  and  knocking,  in  continuing  his  gra- 
 cious calls  to  sinners,  who  had  long  neglected  and  abused  his 
 grace  ;  which  seemed  to  take  some  effect  upon  several. 
 
 *'  In  the  afternoon  divine  truths  were  attended  with  solemnity, 
 and  with  some  tears  ;  although  there  was  not  that  powerful  a- 
 wakening  and  quickening  influence,  which  in  times  past  has  been 
 common  in  our  assemblies.  The  appearance  of  the  audience  un- 
 der divine  truths  was  comparatively  discouraging ;  and  I  was 
 ready  to  fear  that  God  was  about  to  withdraw  the  blessed  influ- 
 ence of  his  spirit  from  us. 
 
 In  the  evening,  I  was  grieved  that  I  had  done  so  little  for  God. 
 Oh  that  1  could  be  "  aflame  offre'^^  in  the  service  of  my  God  ! 
 
 May  19.  Visited  and  preached  to  my  people  from  Acts  xx.  18, 
 1 9,  "  j^nd  7vhen  they  were  come  to  him^  he  said  unto  thcm^  Ye  knozo 
 from  the  first  day,"^^  &zc.  and  endeavoured  to  rectify  tiieir  notions 
 d^hoyitrelifrions  affections ;  shewing  them  on  the  one  hand  the  de- 
 1/  sirableness  of  religious  affection,  tenderness  and  fervent  engage- 
 ment in  the  worship  and  service  of  God,  when  such  affection  flows 
 from  a  true  spiritual  discovery  of  divine  glories  from  a  just  sense 
 of  the  transcendant  excellence  and  perfections  of  the  blessed 
 God, — and  a  view   of  the  glory   and  loveliness  of  the  great  Re- 
 
MExMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  311 
 
 doemer  ;  and  that  such  views  of  divine  things  will  naturally  excite 
 us  to  "  serve  the  Lord  with  many  tears,  with  much  affection  and 
 fervency,  and  yet  with  all  humility  of  mind."  On  the  other  hand 
 I  observed  the  sinfulness  of  seeking  after  high  affections  wimedi- 
 ately  m\d  for  their  oivn  sakes  ;  that  is,  of  making  them  the  object 
 which  our  eye  and  heart  hfirst  and  principally  set  upon,  when  the 
 glory  of  God  ought  to  be  that  object.  Shewed  them  that,  if  the 
 heart  be  directly  and  chiefly  fixed  on  God,  and  the  soul  engaged 
 to  glorify  him,  some  degree  of  religious  affection  will  be  the  ef- 
 fect and  attendant  of  it.  But  to  seek  after  affection  directly  and 
 chiefly  ;  to  have  the  heart  principally  set  upon  that  ^  is  to  place 
 it  in  the  room  of  God  and  his  glory.  If  it  be  sought,  that  others 
 may  take  notice  of  it,  and  admire  us  for  our  spirituality  and  for- 
 wardness in  religion,  it  is  then  abominable />nc?e  ;  if  for  the  sake 
 of  feeling  the  pleasure  of  being  affected,  it  is  then  idolatry  and 
 self-gratification.  Laboured  also  to  expose  the  disagreeahleness 
 of  those  affections,  which  are  sometimes  wrought  up  in  persons 
 by  the  power  of  fancy,  and  their  own  attempts  for  that  purpose, 
 while  I  still  endeavoured  to  recommend  to  them  that  religious  af- 
 fection, fervency  and  devotion  which  ought  to  attend  all  our  reli- 
 gious exercises,  and  witliout  which  religion  will  be  but  an  empty 
 name  and  lifeless  carcase.  This  appeared  to  be  a  seasonable  dis- 
 course, and  proved  very  satisfactory  to  some  of  the  religious  peo- 
 ple, who  before  were  exercised  with  some  ditKculties  relating  to 
 this  point.  Afterwards  took  care  of,  and  gave  my  people  direc- 
 tions about,   their  zvor Idly  affairs," 
 
 On  Tuesday^  he  complains  of  want  of  freedom  and  comfort  ; 
 but  had  some  returns  of  these  on  Wednesday, 
 
 May  22.  "  In  the  evening  was  in  a  frame  somewhat  remarka- 
 ble. I  had  apprehended  for  some  days  before,  that  it  was  the 
 design  of  Providence  that  I  should  settle  among  my  people  here, 
 and  had  in  my  own  mind  began  to  make  provision  for  it,  and  ib 
 contrive  means  to  hasten  it  ;  and  found  my  heart  somewhat  en- 
 gaged in  it ;  hoping  that  I  might  then  enjoy  more  agreeable  cir- 
 cumstances of  life  in  several  respects  :  and  3'et  was  never  fully  de- 
 termined, never  quite  pleased  with  the  thoughts  of  being  settled 
 and  confined  to  one  place.  Nevertheless  1  seemed  to  have  some 
 freedom  in  that  respect,  because  the  congregation,  with  which  I 
 thought  of  settling,  was  one  which  God  had  enabled  me  to  gather 
 from  among  Pagans.  For  I  never,  since  I  began  to  preach,  could 
 feel  any  freedom  to  enter  into  other  men's  labours,  and  settle 
 down  in  the  ministry  where  the   gospel   was  preached  before.     I 
 
312  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 never  could  make  that  appear  to  be  my  province.  When  I  felt 
 any  disposition  to  consult  my  worldlj^  ease  and  comfort,  God  has 
 never  given  me  any  liberty  in  this  respect,  either  since,  or  for 
 some  years  before,  I  began  to  preach.  But  God  having  succeed- 
 ed my  labours,  and  made  me  instrumental  in  gathering  a  church 
 for  him  among  these  Indians,  I  was  ready  to  think  it  might  be  his 
 design  to  give  me  a  quiet  settlement,  and  a  stated  home  of  my 
 own.  This,  considering  the  late  frequent  sinking  and  failure  of 
 my  spirits,  and  the  need  I  stood  in  of  some  agreeable  society,  and 
 my  great  desire  of  enjoying  conveniences  and  opportunities  for 
 profitable  studies,  was  not  altogether  disagreeable  to  me.  Al- 
 though 1  still  wanted  to  go  about  far  and  wide,  in  order  to  spread 
 the  "blessed  gospel  among  the  benighted  souls  far  remote,  yet 
 1  never  had  been  so  willing  to  settle  in  any  one  place,  for  more 
 than  five  years  past,  as  I  was  in  the  preceding  part  of  this  week. 
 But  now  these  thoughts  seemed  to  be  wholly  dashed  to  pieces,  not 
 by  necessity,  but  of  choice  ;  for  it  appeared  to  me  that  God's 
 dealings  towards  me  had  fitted  me  for  a  life  of  solitariness  and 
 hardship,  and  that  I  had  nothing  to  lose,  nothing  to  do  with  earth, 
 and  consequently  nothing  to  lose  by  a  total  renunciation  of  it.  It 
 appeared  to  me  just  right  that  1  should  be  destitute  of  house  and 
 home,  and  many  of  the  comforts  of  life,  which  1  rejoiced  to  see 
 others  of  God's  people  enjoy.  At  the  same  time,  I  saw  so  much 
 of  the  excellency  of  Christ's  kingdom  and  the  infinite  desirableness 
 of  its  advancement  in  the  world,  that  it  swallowed  up  all  my  other 
 thoughts,  and  made  me  willing,  yea,  even  rejoice,  to  he  made  a 
 piliirim  orhennitin  the  wilderness  to  my  dying  moment ;  if  I  might 
 thereby  promote  the  blessed  interest  of  the  great  Redeemer.  If 
 ever  my  soul  presented  itself  to  God  for  his  service,  loithoul  any 
 reserve  of  any  kind,  it  did  so  now.  The  language  of  my  thoughts 
 and  disposition  now  was,  "  Here  I  am^  Lord^  send  ine  ^  send  me 
 to  the  ends  of  the  Earth  ;  send  me  to  the  roughs  the  savage  Pagans 
 of  the  7oilderness  ;  send  me  from  all  that  is  called  comfort  in  earth, 
 or  earthly  comfort  ^  send  me  even  to  death  itself  if  it  be  but  in  thy 
 ecrvice,  and  to  promote  thy  kingdom.'^''  At  the  same  time,  I  had 
 as  quick  and  lively  a  sense  of  the  value  of  worldly  comforts,  as  I 
 <Her  had  ;  but  only  saw  them  infinitely  overmatched  by  the  worth 
 of  Christ's  kini^dom,  and  the  propagation  of  his  blessed  gospel. 
 The  quiet  settlement,  the  certain  place  of  abode,  the  tender 
 friendship,  which  I  thought  I  might  be  likely  to  enjoy  in  conse- 
 quence of  such  rircum'itances,  appeared  as  valuable  to  me,  con- 
 sidered ahsolutily  and  in  themselves,  as  ever  before  ;  hut  consider- 
 ed comparatively^  they  appeared  nothing.  Compared  with  the 
 value  and  preciousness  of  an  enlargement  of  Christ's  kingdom, 
 they  vanished  as  stars  before  the  rising  sun.     Sure  1  am,  that,  al- 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  313 
 
 though  the  comfortable  accommodations  of  life  appeared  valuable 
 and  dear  to  me,  yet  I  did  surrender  and  resign  myself,  soul  and 
 body,  to  the  service  of  God,  and  to  the  promotion  of  Christ's 
 kingdom  ;  though  it  should  be  in  the  loss  of  them  all  I  could  not 
 do  any  other,  because  I  could  not  will  or  choose  any  other.  1  was 
 constrained,  and  yet  chose,  to  say,  '•'  Farewell  friends  and  earthly 
 comforts,  the  dearest  of  them  all,  the  rery  dearest,  if  the  Lord 
 calls  for  it :  adieu,  adieu  ;  I  will  spend  my  life,  to  my  latest  mo- 
 ments, in  caves,  and  dens  of  the  earth,  if  the  kingdom  of  Christ 
 may  thereby  be  advanced.  I  found  extraordinary  freedom  at  this 
 time  in  pouring  out  my  soul  to  God  for  his  cause  ;  and  especiallv 
 that  his  kingdom  might  be  extended  among  the  Indians,  far  re- 
 mote ;  and  I  had  a  great  and  strong  hope  that  God  would  do  it. 
 I  continued  wrestling  with  God  in  prayer  for  my  dear  little  flock 
 here  ;  and  more  especially  for  the  Indians  elsewhere  ;  as  well  as 
 for  dear  friends  in  one  place  and  another  until  it  was  bed  time, 
 and  I  feared  I  should  hinder  the  family,  &;c.  But,  O,  with  what 
 reluctancy  did  I  feel  myself  obliged  to  consume  time  in  sleep  !  I 
 longed  to  be  as  a  flame  of  fire,  continually  glowing  in  the  divine 
 service,  and  building  up  Christ's  kingdom,  to  my  latest  my  dying 
 moment. 
 
 May  23.  "  In  the  morning,  was  in  the  same  frame  of  mind  as 
 in  the  evening  before.  The  glory  of  Christ's  kingdom  so  much 
 outshone  the  pleasure  of  earthly  accommodations  and  enjoyments, 
 that  they  appeared  comparatively  nothing,  though  in  themselves 
 good  and  desirable.  My  soul  was  melted  in  secret  meditation 
 and  prayer ;  and  I  found  myself  divorced  from  any  part  or  por- 
 tion in  this  world  ;  so  that  in  those  affairs  which  seemed  of  the 
 greatest  importance  to  me  with  respect  to  the  present  life,  and  in 
 those  with  the  tenderest  feelings  of  the  heart  are  most  sensibly 
 connected  ;  I  could  only  say,  '•  the  will  of  the  Lord  be  done." 
 But  just  the  same  things,  which  I  felt  the  evening  before,  I  felt 
 now,  and  found  the  same  freedom  in  prayer  for  the  people  of  my 
 charge,  for  the  propagation  of  the  gospel  among  the  Indians,  and 
 for  the  enlargement  and  spiritual  welfare  of  Zion  in  general,  and 
 my  dear  friends  in  particular  now,  as  1  did  then  ;  and  longed  to 
 burn  out  in  one  continued  flame  for  God.  Retained  much  of  the 
 same  frame  through  the  day.  In  the  evening  I  was  visited  by  my 
 brother  John  Brainerd  ;  the  first  visit  which  1  have  ever  receiv- 
 ed from  any  near  relative  since  I  have  been  a  missionary.  Felt 
 the  same  flame  of  spirit  in  the  evening,  as  in  the  morning;  and 
 found  that  it  was  good  for  me  to  draw  near  to  God,  and  leave  all 
 my  concerns  and  burdens  with  him.  Was  enlarged  and  refreshed 
 in  pouring  out  my  soul  for  the  propagation  of  the  gospel  of  the 
 Redeemer  among  the  distant  tribes  of  Indians.     Blessed  be  God. 
 
 40 
 
314  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 If  ever  I  filled  up  a  day  with  study  and  devotion,  I  was  enabled 
 so  to  fill  up  this  day. 
 
 May  24.  "  Visited  the  Indians,  and  took  care  of  their  secular 
 business  ;  which  they  are  not  able  to  manage  themselves,  without 
 the  constant  care  and  advice  of  others.  Afterwards  discoursed 
 to  some  of  them  particularly  about  their  spiritual  concerns. — En- 
 joyed this  day  somewhat  of  the  same  frame  of  mind  which  1  felt 
 the  day  before. 
 
 LordPs  day,  May  25.  **  Discoursed  both  parts  of  the  day  from 
 John  xii.  44 — 48.  "  Jesus  cried  and  said.  He  that  helieveth  on  me, 
 &:c."  There  was  some  degree  of  divine  power  attending  the 
 word  of  God.  Several  wept,  and  appeared  considerably  affect- 
 ed, and  one,  who  had  long  been  under  spiritual  trouble,  now  ob- 
 tained clearness  and  comfort,  and  appeared  to  rejoice  in  God  her 
 Saviour.  It  was  a  day  of  grace  and  divine  goodness ;  a  day 
 wherein  something  I  trust  was  done  for  the  cause  of  God  among 
 my  people  ;  a  season  of  comfort  and  sweetness  to  numbers  of  the 
 religious  people  ;  although  there  was  not  that  influence  upon  the 
 congregation  which  was  common  some  months  ago," 
 
 This  week,  at  least  the  former  part  of  it,  he  was  in  a  very  weak 
 state,  but  yet  seems  to  have  been  free  from  melancholy,  which  of- 
 ten had  attended  the  failing  of  his  bodily  strength.  He  from 
 time  to  time  speaks  of  comfort  and  inward  refreshment  this 
 week. 
 
 Lord''s  day,  June  1,  1746.  "  Preached  both  forenoon  and  af- 
 ternoon from  Matt,  xi.  27,  28.  The  presence  of  God  seemed  to 
 be  in  the  assembly;  and  numbers  were  considerably  melted  and 
 affected  under  divine  truths.  There  was  a  desirable  appearance 
 in  the  congregation  in  general,  an  earnest  attention  and  an  agree- 
 able tenderness  ;  and  it  seemed  as  if  God  designed  to  visit  us 
 with  further  showers  of  divine  grace  1  then  baptized  ten  per- 
 sons :  five  adults,  and  five  children  ;  and  was  not  a  little  refresh- 
 ed with  this  addition  made  to  the  church  of  such  as  I  hope  will 
 be  saved.  I  have  reason  to  hope  that  God  has  lately,  at  and 
 since  our  celebration  of  the  Lord's  supper,  brought  to  himself 
 several  persons  who  had  long  been  under  spiritual  trouble  and 
 concern;  although  there  have  been  few  instances  of  persons  late- 
 ly awakened  out  of  a  state  of  security.  Those  comforted  of  late 
 seem  to  be  brought  in,  in  a  more  silent  way  ;  neither  their  con- 
 cern, nor  consolation  being  so  powerful  and  remarkable,  as  ap- 
 peared among  those  more  suddenly  wrought  upon  in  the  begin- 
 ning of  this  work  of  grace. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  315 
 
 June  2.  "  In  the  evening,  enjoyed  some  freedom  in  secret 
 prayer  and  meditation. 
 
 June  3.  "  My  soul  rejoiced,  early  in  the  morning,  to  think 
 that  all  things  were  at  God's  disposal.  Oh,  it  pleased  me  to  leave 
 them  there  !  Felt  afterwards  much  as  I  did  on  Thursday  eve- 
 ning last  May  22,  and  continued  in  that  frame  for  several  hours. 
 Walked  out  in  the  wilderness,  and  enjoyed  freedom,  fervency  and 
 comfort  in  prayer,  and  again  enjoyed  the  same  in  the  evening. 
 
 June  4.  *'  Spent  the  day  in  writing,  and  enjoyed  some  com- 
 fort, satisfaction  and  freedom  in  my  work.  In  the  evening,  I  was 
 favoured  with  a  sweet  refreshing  frame  of  soul  in  secret  prayer 
 and  meditation.  Prayer  was  now  wholly  turned  into  praise,  and 
 I  could  do  little  else  but  try  to  adore  and  bless  the  living  God. 
 The  wonders  of  his  grace  displayed  in  gathering  to  himself  a 
 church  among  the  poor  Indians  here,  were  the  subject  matter  of 
 my  meditation,  and  the  occasion  of  exciting  my  soul  to  praise 
 and  bless  his  name.  My  soul  was  scarcely  ever  more  disposed 
 to  inquire,  What  I  should  render  to  God  for  all  his  benefits,  than 
 at  this  time.  Oh,  I  was  brought  into  a  strait,  a  sweet  and  happy 
 strait,  to  know  what  to  do !  I  longed  to  make  some  returns  to 
 God  ;  but  found  I  had  nothing  to  return  :  I  could  only  rejoice 
 that  God  had  done  the  work  himself;  and  that  none  in  heaven  or 
 earth  might  pretend  to  share  the  honour  of  it  with  him.  I  could 
 only  be  glad  that  God's  declarative  glory  was  advanced  by  the 
 conversion  of  these  souls,  and  that  it  was  to  the  enlargement  of 
 his  kingdom  in  the  world  ;  but  saw  I  was  so  poor  that  I  had 
 nothing  to  offer  to  him.  My  soul  and  body,  through  grace,  I 
 could  cheerfully  surrender  to  him;  but  it  appeared  to  me  this 
 was  rather  a  burden  than  a  gift ;  and  nothing  could  I  do  to  glorify 
 his  dear  and  blessed  name.  Yet  I  was  glad  at  heart,  that  he  was 
 unchangeably  possessed  of  glory  and  blessedness.  Oh  that  he 
 might  be  adored  and  praised  by  all  his  intelligent  creatures  to  the 
 utmost  extent  of  their  capacities  !  My  soul  would  have  rejoiced 
 to  see  others  praise  him,  though  I  could  do  nothing  towards  it 
 myself." 
 
 The  next  day  he  speaks  of  his  being  subject  to  some  degree  of 
 melancholy  ;  but  of  being  somewhat  relieved  in  the  evening. 
 
 June  6.  *'  Discoursed  to  my  people  from  part  of  Is.  liii.  The 
 divine  presence  appeared  to  be  among  us  in  some  measure. — 
 Several  persons  were  much  melted  and  refreshed  ;  and  one  man 
 in  particular,  who  had  long  been  under  concern  for  his  soul,  was 
 now  brought  to  see  and  feel,  in  a  very  lively  manner,  the  impos- 
 sibility of  his  doing  any  thing  to  help  himself,  or  to  bring  him  into 
 
316  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 the  favour  of  God,  by  his  tears,  prayers  and  other  rehgious  per- 
 formances ;  and  found  himself  undone  as  to  any  power  or  good- 
 ness of  (lis  own,  and  that  there  was  no  way  left  him  but  to  leave 
 himself  with  God,  to  be  disposed  of  as  he  pleased. 
 
 June  7.  "  Being  desired  by  the  Rev.  William  Tenxent  to  be 
 his  assistant  in  the  administration  of  the  Lord's  Supper,  J  this 
 morning  rode  to  Freehold  to  render  that  assistance.  My  people 
 also  being  invited  to  attend  the  sacramental  solemnity  ;  they 
 cheerfully  embraced  the  opportunity,  and  this  day  attended  the 
 preparatory  services  with  me. 
 
 "  In  the  afternoon  I  preached  from  Psalm  Ixxiii.  28.  "  But  it 
 is  good  for  me  to  draio  near  to  God,'''^  &c.  God  gave  me  some 
 freedom  and  warmth  in  my  discourse  :  and  I  trust  his  presence 
 was  in  the  assembly.  Was  comfortably  composed,  enjoyed  a 
 thankful  frame  of  spirit,  and  my  soul  was  grieved,  that  I  could  not 
 render  something  to  God  for  his  benefits  bestowed.  O  that  I 
 could  be  swallowed  up  in  his  praise  ! 
 
 Lord'^s  day,  June  8.  "  Spent  much  time  in  the  morning  in  se- 
 cret duties,  but  between  hope  and  fear  respecting  the  enjoyment 
 of  God  in  the  business  of  the  day  then  before  us.  Was  agreeably 
 entertained  in  the  forenoon  by  a  discourse  from  Mr.  Tennent, 
 and  felt  somewhat  melted  and  refreshed.  In  the  season  of  com- 
 munion, enjoyed  some  comfort ;  and  especially  in  serving  one  of 
 the  tables.  Blessed  be  the  Lord  !  it  was  a  time  of  refreshing  to 
 me,  and  1  trust  to  many  others. 
 
 "  Mo"*t  of  my  people,  who  had  been  communicants  at  the  Lord's 
 table,  before  being  present  at  this  sacramental  occasion,  communed 
 with  others  in  the  holy  ordinance,  at  the  desire,  and  I  trust  to  the 
 satisfaction  andcomfort  of  numbers  of  God's  people,  who  had  long- 
 ed to  see  this  day^  and  whose  hearts  had  rejoiced  in  this  work  of 
 grace  among  the  Indians,  which  prepared  the  way  for  what  ap- 
 peared so  agreeable  at  this  time.  Those  of  my  people  who  com- 
 muned, seemed  in  general,  agreeably  affected  at  the  Lord's  table, 
 and  some  of  them  considerably  melted  with  the  love  of  Christ,  al- 
 thoufi,h  they  were  not  so  remarkably  refreshed  and  feasted  at  this 
 time,  as  when  I  administered  this  ordinance  to  them  in  our  own  con- 
 gregation only.  A  number  of  my  dear  people  sat  down  by  them- 
 selves at  the  last  table ;  at  which  time  God  seemed  to  be  in  the  midst 
 of  them.  Some  of  the  by-standers  were  affected  with  seeing  those 
 who  had  been  "aliens  from  the  common  wealth  of  Israel,  and  stran- 
 gers to  the  covenant  of  promise,"  who  of  all  men  had  lived  "without 
 hope  and  without  God  in  the  world,"  now  brought  yiear  to  God,  as 
 his  professing  people,  and  sealing  their  covenant  with  him,  by  a 
 solemn  and  devout  attendance  upon  this  sacred  ordinance.  As 
 numbers  of  God's  people  were  refreshed  with  this  sight,  and  there- 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  317 
 
 by  excited  to  bless  God  for  the  enlargement  of  bis  kingdom  in  the 
 world  ;  so  some  others,  I  was  told,  were  awakened  by  it,  appre- 
 hending the  danger  they  were  in  of  being  themselves  finally  cast 
 out;  while  they  sav/  others  from  the  east  and  west  preparing,  and 
 hopefully  prepared  in  some  good  measure,  to  sit  down  in  the 
 kingdom  of  God.  At  this  season  others  of  my  people  also,  who 
 were  not  communicants,  were  considerably  affected  ;  convictions 
 were  revived  in  several  instances  ;  and  one,  the  man  particular- 
 ly mentioned  in  my  journal  of  the  6th  instant,  obtained  comfort 
 and  satisfaction  ;  and  has  since  given  me  such  an  account  of  his 
 spiritual  exercises,  and  the  manner  in  which  he  obtained  relief,  as 
 appears  very  hopeful.  It  seems  as  if  He,  who  commanded  the 
 light  to  shine  out  of  darkness,  had  now  "  shined  into  his  heart,  and 
 and  given  him  the  light  of,"  and  experimental  "  knowledge  of  the 
 glory  of  God  in  the  face  of  Jesus  Christ."      ^ 
 
 "  In  the  afternoon  God  enabled  me  to  preach  with  uncommon 
 freedom,  from  2  Co.  v.  20,  "  Aozw  then  we  are  ambassadors  for 
 Christ,^^  &;c.  Through  the  great  goodness  of  God,  I  was  favoured 
 with  a  constant  flow  of  pertinent  matter,  and  proper  expressions, 
 from  the  beginning  to  the  end  of  my  discourse.  In  the  evening  I 
 could  not  but  rejoice  in  God,  and  bless  him  in  the  manifestations 
 of  grace  in  the  day  past.  Oh  it  was  a  sweet  and  solemn  day  and 
 evening!  a  season  of  comfort  to  the  godly,  and  of  awakening  to 
 some  souls  !   O  that  I  couldpraise  the  Lord. 
 
 June  9,  "  Enjoyed  some  sweetness  in  secret  duties.  A  con- 
 siderable number  of  my  people  met  together  early  in  a  retired 
 place  in  the  woods,  and  prayed,  sang  and  conversed  of  divine 
 things  ;  and  were  seen  by  some  religious  persoris  of  the  white 
 people  to  be  affected  and  engaged,  and  divers  of  them  in  tears  in 
 these  religious  exercises.  Preached  the  concluding  sermon  from 
 Gen.  v.  24,  "  Jl)id  Enoch  imlked  with  God,^''  &c.  God  gave 
 me  enlargement  and  fervency  in  my  discourse,  so  that  I 
 was  enabled  to  speak  with  plainness  and  power  ;  and  God's  pres- 
 ence seemed  to  be  in  the  assembly.  Praised  be  the  Lord,  it  was 
 a  sweet  meeting,  a  desirable  assembly.  I  found  my  strength  re- 
 newed, and  lengthened  out  even  to  a  wonder,  so  that  I  felt  much 
 stronger  at  the  conclusion  than  in  the  beginning  of  this  sacramen- 
 tal solemnity.  I  have  great  reason  to  bless  God  for  this  solemni- 
 ty ;  wherein  1  have  found  assistance  in  addressing  others,  and 
 sweetness  in  my  own  soul. 
 
 "  After  my  people  had  attended  the  concluding  exercises 
 of  the  sacramental  solemnity,  they  returned  home ;  many  of 
 them  rejoicing  for  all  the  goodness  of  God  which  they  had  seen 
 and  felt:  so  that  this  appeared  to  be  a  profitable  as  well  as  com- 
 
318  MExMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 fortable  season  to  numbers  of  my  congregation.  Their  being 
 present  at  this  occasion,  and  a  number  of  them  communing  at  the 
 Lord's  table  with  other  christians,  was,  1  trust,  for  the  honour 
 of  God  and  the  interest  of  religion  in  these  parts;  as  numbers  I 
 have  reason  to  think,  were  quickened  by  means  of  it." 
 
 On  Tuesday^  he  found  himself  spent,  and  his  spirits  exhausted, 
 by  his  late  labours  ;  and  on  Wednesday  complains  of  vapoury  dis- 
 orders and  dejection  of  spirits,  and  of  enjoying  but  little  comfort 
 and  spirituality. 
 
 June  12.  "  In  the  evening,  enjoyed  freedom  of  mind  and  some 
 sweetness  in  secret  prayer.  It  was  a  desirable  season  to  me  ;  my 
 soul  was  enlarged  in  prayer  for  my  own  dear  people,  and  for  the 
 enlargement  of  Christ's  kingdom,  and  especially  for  the  propaga- 
 tion of  the  Gospel  among  the  Indians,  far  back  in  the  wilderness. 
 Was  refreshed  in  prayer  for  dear  friends  in  New-England  and 
 elsewhere.  I  found  it  sweet  to  pray  at  this  time  ;  and  could,  with 
 all  my  heart,  say,  "  It  is  good  for  me  to  draw  near  to  God»''\ 
 
 June  \ 3.  "Preached  to  my  people  upon  the  7iew  o'cature^ 
 from  2  Cor.  v.  17,''''  If  any  man  be  in  Christ,^^  &;c.  The  presence 
 of  God  appeared  to  be  in  the  assembly,  [t  was  a  sweet  and 
 agreeable  meeting,  wherein  the  people  of  God  were  refreshed  and 
 strengthened  ;  beholding  their  faces  in  the  glass  of  God's  word, 
 and  finding  in  themselves  the  works  and  lineaments  of  the  new 
 creature.  Some  sinners  under  concern  were  also  renewedly  af- 
 fected ;  and  afresh  engaged  for  the  securing  of  their  eternal  in- 
 terests. 
 
 "  Baptised^^ue  persons  at  this  time,  three  adults,  and  two  chil- 
 dren. One  of  these  was  the  very  aged  rvoman,  of  whose  exercises 
 1  gave  an  account  in  my  diary,  of  Dec.  26.  She  now  gave  me  a 
 very  punctual,  rational,  and  satisfactory  account  of  the  remarka- 
 ble change  which  she  experienced  some  months  after  the  begin- 
 ning of  her  concern,  which  I  must  say,  appeared  to  be  the  genuine 
 operations  of  the  Divine  Spirit,  so  far  as  I  am  capable  of  judging. 
 Although  she  was  become  so  childish  through  age,  that  I  could 
 do  nothing,  in  a  way  of  questioning  with  her,  nor  scarcely  make 
 her  understand  any  thing  that  I  asked  her ;  yet  when  I  let  her 
 alone  to  go  on  with  her  own  story,  she  could  give  a  very  distinct 
 and  particular  relation  of  the  many  and  various  exercises  of  soul, 
 which  she  had  experienced  ;  so  deep  were  the  impressions  left 
 upon  her  mind  by  that  influence  and  those  exercises  which  she 
 h;id  experienced.  1  have  great  reason  to  think,  that  she  is  born 
 anew  in  her  old   age  :  she  being,  I  presume,  upwards  of  eighty. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  319 
 
 1  had  good  hopes  of  the  other  adults,  and  trust  they  are  such  as 
 God  will  own  "  in  the  day  when  he  makes  up  his  jewels." 
 
 "  1  came  away  from  the  meeting  of  the  Indians,  this  day, 
 rejoicing  and  blessing  God  for  his  grace  manifested  at  this  sea- 
 son. 
 
 June  14.  "Rode  to  Kingston  to  assist  the  Rev.  Mr.  Wales 
 in  the  administration  of  the  Lord's  supper.  In  the  afternoon, 
 preached ;  but  almost  fainted  in  the  pulpit.  Yet  God  strength- 
 ened me  when  I  was  just  gone,  and  enabled  me  to  speak  his  word 
 with  freedom,  fervency,  and  application  to  the  conscience. — 
 Praised  be  the  Lord,  "  out  of  weakness  I  was  made  strong."  I 
 enjoyed  some  sweetness  in  and  after  public  worship,  but  was  ex- 
 tremely tired.  Oh,  how  many  are  the  mercies  of  the  Lord! 
 "  To  them  that  have  no  might  he  increaselh  strength." 
 
 Lord's  day,  June  15.  "  Was  in  a  dejected,  spiritless  frame,  so 
 that  I  could  not  hold  up  my  head,  nor  look  any  body  in  the  fac€. 
 Administered  the  Lord's  supper  at  Mr.  Wale's  desire,  and  found 
 myself  in  a  good  measure  unburdened  and  relieved  of  my  pressing 
 load,  when  I  came  to  ask  a  blessing  on  the  elements.  Here  God 
 gave  me  enlargement  and  a  tender  affectionate  sense  of  spiritual 
 things,  so  that  it  was  a  season  of  comfort,  in  some  measure  to  me, 
 and  I  trust,  more  so  to  others.  In  the  afternoon,  preached  to  a 
 vast  multitude,  from  Rev.  xxii.  17 — ^Jlndiuhoever  loill,  t^c'  God 
 helped  me  to  offer  a  testimony  for  himself,  and  to  leave  sinners 
 inexcusable  in  neglecting  his  grace.  I  was  enabled  to  speak  with 
 such  freedom,  fluency  and  clearness,  as  commanded  the  atten- 
 tion of  the  great.  Was  extrem.ely  tired  in  the  evening,  but  en- 
 joyed composure  and  sweetness. 
 
 June  16.  "Preached  again;  and  God  helped  me  amazingly, 
 so  that  this  was  a  sweet  refreshing  season  to  my  soul  and  others. 
 Oh,  forever  blessed  be  God  for  help  afforded  at  this  time,  when 
 my  body  was  so  weak,  and  while  there  was  so  large  an  assembly 
 to  hear.  Spent  this  afternoon  in  a  comfortable  agreeable  man- 
 ner." 
 
 The  next  day  was  spent  comfortably.  On  Wednesday,  he 
 went  to  a  meeting  of  ministers  at  Hopewell. 
 
 June  19.  "Visited  my  people  with  two  of  the  Reverend  cor- 
 respondents. Spent  some  time  in  conversation  with  some  of 
 them  upon  spiritual  things  ;  and  took  some  care  of  their  worldly 
 concerns. 
 
 "This  day  makes  up  a  complete  year  from  the  first  time  of 
 my  preaching  to  these  Indians  in   New-Jersey.     What  amazing 
 
2^0  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 things  has  God  wrought,  in  this  space  of  time,  for  this  poor  peo- 
 ple !  What  a  surprizing  change  appears  in  their  tennpers  and  be- 
 haviour! How  are  morose  and  savage  Pagans,  in  this  short  peri- 
 od, transformed  into  agreeable,  affectionate,  and  humble  chris- 
 tians! and  their  drunken  and  Pagan  bowlings  turned  into  devout 
 and  fervent  praises  to  God!  They  'who  were  sometimes  in  dark- 
 ness are  now  become  light  in  the  Lord.'  May  they  '  walk  as 
 children  of  the  light  and  of  the  day!'  And  now  to  Him  that  is  of 
 power  to  establish  them  according  to  the  gospel,  and  the  preach- 
 ing of  Christ — to  God  only  wise,  be  glory  through  Jesus  Christ, 
 for  ever  and  ever,  Amen.*' 
 
^s./ 
 
 CiiAFTER  IX. 
 
 General  Remarks  on  the  preceding  Xarrathe  of  a  Work  of  Grace  at 
 Crosswei'ksiing,  I.  On  the  Doctrines  preached  to  the  Indians, 
 II.  On  the  Moral  Effects  of  preaching  Christ  Crucified,  111.  On 
 the  Continuance,  Renezval  and  Quickness  of  the  Work.  IV.  On 
 the  little  appearance  of  False  Religion.'^ 
 
 •'  At  the  close  of  this  Narrative,  I  would  make  a  few  General 
 Remarks  upon  what,  to  me,  appears  worthy  of  notice,  relating  to 
 the  continued  work  of  grace  among  my  people. 
 
 I.  "  On  the  Doctrines  preached  to  the  Indians. 
 
 "  I  cannot  but  take  notice,  that  I  have  in  general,  ever  since 
 my  first  coming  among  the  Indians  in  New-Jersey,  been  favoured 
 with  that  assistance,  which,  to  me,  is  uncommon,  in  preaching 
 Christ  crucified,  and  making  him  the  ceritre  and  7nark  to  which  all 
 my  discourses  among  them  were  directed. 
 
 "  It  was  the  principal  scope  and  drift  of  all  my  discourses  to  this 
 people,  for  several  months  together,  (after  having  taught  them 
 something  of  the  being  and  perfections  o(  God,  hk  creation  of 
 man  in  a  state  of  rectitude  and  happiness,  and  the  obligations 
 mankind  v/ere  thence  under  to  love  and  honour  him,)  to  lead 
 them  into  an  acquaintance  with  their  deplorable  state  by  nature, 
 as  fallen  creatures  ;  their  inahility  to  extricate  and  deliver  them- 
 selves from  it ;  the  utter  insufficiency  of  any  external  reformations 
 and  amendments  of  life,  or  of  any  religious  performances,  of 
 which  they  were  capable,  while  in  tliis  state,  to  bring  them  into 
 the  favour  of  God,  and  interest  them  in  his  eternal  mercy  ;  thence 
 to  shew  them  their  absolute  need  of  Christ  to  redeem  and  save 
 them  from  the  misery  of  their  fallen  state  ; — to  open  his  all-suffi- 
 ciency and  willingness  to  save  the  chief  of  sinners  ; — the  freeness 
 and  riches  of  divine  grace,  proposed  "  without  money,  and  with- 
 out price,"  to  all  that  will  accept  the  offer;  thereupon  to  press 
 them  without  delay,  to  betake  themselves  to  him,  under  a  sense  of 
 their  misery  and  i/«c?07ie  state,  for  relief  and  everlasting  salva- 
 tion ; — and  to  shew  them  the  abundant  encouragement  the  gos- 
 pel proposes  to  needy,  perishing,  and  helpless  sinners,  in  order 
 to  engage  them  so  to  do.  These  things,  I  repeatedly  and  large- 
 ly insisted  upon  from  time  to  time. 
 
 *  As  the  General  Remarks  in  this  chapter  and  the  next  were  appended  by 
 Brainerd  to  his  Journal  which  terminated  June  19,  1746,  this  is  obviously  the 
 proper  place  for  inserting  thenu 
 
 3  ai 
 
322  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 "  I  have  oftentimes  remarked  with  admiration,  that  whatever 
 subject  1  have  been  treating  upon,  after  having  spent  time  sufli- 
 cient  to  explain  and  illustrate  the  truths  contained  therein,  I  have 
 been  nalurally  and  easily  led  to  Christ  as  the  substance  of  every 
 subject.  If  1  treated  on  the  being  and  glorious  perfections  of 
 God  ;  I  was  thence  tiatiiralh/  led  to  discourse  of  Christ  as  the  only 
 "  way  to  the  Father." — If  I  attempted  to  open  the  deplorable 
 misery  of  our  fallen  state  ;  it  was  natural  from  thence  to  shew  the 
 necessity  of  Christ  to  undertake  for  us,  to  atone  for  our  sins,  and 
 to  redeem  us  from  the  power  of  them. — If  I  taught  the  commands 
 of  God,  and  shewed  our  violation  of  them  ;  this  brought  me  in  the 
 most  easy  and  natural  way,  to  speak  of,  and  recommend  the 
 Lord  Jesus  Christ,  as  one  who  had  "  magnified  the  law"  which 
 we  had  broken,  and  who  was  "  become  the  end  of  it  for  righteous- 
 ness, to  every  one  that  believes."  Never  did  1  find  so  much  free- 
 dom and  assistance  in  making  all  the  various  lines  of  my  dis- 
 courses meet  together,  and  centre  in  Christ,  as  I  have  frequently 
 done  among  these  Indians. 
 
 "Sometimes  when  I  have  had  thoughts  of  offering  but  a  few 
 words  upon  some  particular  subject,  and  saw  no  occasion,  nor  in- 
 deed much  room,  for  any  considerable  enlargement,  there  has  at 
 unawares  appeared  such  a  fountain  of  gospel-grace  shining  forth 
 in,  or  naturally  resulting  from  a  just  explication  of  it;  and  Christ 
 has  seemed  in  such  a  manner  to  be  pointed  out  as  the  substance 
 of  what  I  was  considering  and  explaining ;  that  I  have  been 
 drawn  in  a  way  not  only  easy  and  natural,  proper  and  pertinent, 
 but  almost  unavoidable  to  discourse  of  him,  either  in  regard  of 
 his  undertaking,  incarnation,  satisfaction,  admirable  fitness  for 
 the  work  of  man's  redemption,  or  the  infinite  need  that  sinners 
 stand  in  of  an  interest  in  him  ;  which  has  opened  the  way  for  a 
 continued  strain  of  gospel  invitation  to  perishing  souls,  to  come 
 empty  and  naked,  weary  and  heavy  laden,  and  cast  themselves 
 upon  him. 
 
 "  As  I  have  been  remarkably  influenced  and  assisted  to  dwell 
 upon  the  Lord  Jesus  Christ,  and  the  way  of  salvation  by  him,  in 
 the  general  current  of  my  discourses  here,  and  have  been,  at 
 times,  surprisingly  furnished  with  pertinent  matter  relating  to 
 him,  and  the  design  of  his  incarnation  ;  so  I  have  been  no  less 
 assisted  oftentimes  in  an  advantageous  manner  of  openincj  the 
 mysteries  of  divine  grace,  and  representing  the  infinite  excellen- 
 cies, and  "  unsearchable  riches  of  Christ,"  as  well  as  of  recom- 
 mending him  to  the  acceptance  of  perishing  sinners.  I  have  fre- 
 quently been  enabled  to  represent  the  divine  glory,  the  infinite 
 preciousness  and  transcendant  loveliness  of  the  great  Redeemer, 
 the  suitableness  of  his  person  and  purchase  to  supply  the  wants^ 
 
-       MEJVIOIRS  OF   BRAINERD.  323 
 
 and  answer  the  utmost  desires  of  imnnortal  souls  ; — to  open  the 
 infinite  riches  of  his  grace,  and  the  wonderful  encouragement 
 proposed  in  the  gospel  to  unworthy,  helpless  sinners  ; — to  call, 
 invite,  and  beseech  them  to  come  and  give  up  themselves  to  him, 
 and  be  reconciled  to  God  through  him  ; — to  expostulate  with  them 
 respecting  their  neglect  of  one  so  infinitely  lovely,  and  freely  of- 
 fered ; — and  this  in  such  a  munncr,  with  such  freedom,  pertinency, 
 pathos,  and  application  to  the  conscience,  as,  I  am  sure,  I  never 
 could  have  made  myself  master  of  by  the  most  assiduous  applica- 
 tion of  mind.  Frequently,  at  such  seasons,  I  have  been  surpris- 
 ingly helped  in  adapting  my  discourses  to  the  capacities  o{  my 
 people,  and  bringing  them  down  into  sucli  easy,  and  familiar 
 methods  of  expression,  as  has  rendered  them  intelligible  even  to 
 Pagans. 
 
 "  I  do  not  mention  these  things  as  a  recommendation  of  my 
 own  performances  ;  for,  I  am  sure,  1  found,  from  time  to  time, 
 that  1  had  no  skill  or  wisdom  for  my  great  work  ;  and  knew  not 
 how  "  to  choose  out  acceptable  words"  proper  to  address  poor 
 benighted  Pagans  with.  But  thus  God  was  pleased  to  help  me, 
 "  not  to  know  any  thing  among  them,  save  Jesus  Christ,  and  him 
 crucified."  Thus  I  was  enabled  to  shew  theni  their  mis ei'i/  with- 
 out him,  and  to  represent  his  complete  fitness  to  redeem  and 
 save  shem. 
 
 "  This  was  the  preaching  God  made  use  of  for  the  awakening 
 of  sinners,  and  the  propagation  of  this  '*  work  oi  grace  among  the 
 Indians." — It  was  remarkable,  from  time  to  time,  that  when  I 
 was  favoured  with  dLuy  special  freedom,  in  discoursing  of  the 
 "ability  and  willingness  of  Christ  to  save  sinners,"  and  "the 
 need  in  which  they  stood  of  such  a  Saviour  ;"  there  was  then  the 
 greatest  appearance  of  divine  power  in  awakening  numbers  of 
 secure  souls,  promoting  convictions  begun,  and  comforting  the 
 distressed. 
 
 "  I  have  sometimes  formerly,  in  reading  the  apostle's  discourse 
 to  Cornelius,  (Acts  x.)  wondered  to  see  him  so  quickly  introduce 
 the  Lord  Jesus  Christ  into  his  sermon,  and  so  entirely  dwell  upon 
 him  through  the  whole  of  it,  observing  him  in  this  point  very 
 widely  to  differ  from  many  o(  our  modem  preachers  ;  but  latterly 
 this  has  not  seemed  strange,  siiice  Christ  has  appeared  to  be  the 
 substance  of  the  gospel,  and  the  ceiitre  in  which  the  several  lines 
 of  divine  revelation  meet.  Still  I  am  sensible  that  there  are 
 many  things  necessary  to  be  spoken  to  persons  under  Pagan  dark- 
 ness, in  order  to  make  way  for  a  proper  introduction  of  the  name 
 of  Christ,  and  his  undertakinej  in  behalf  of  fallen  man. 
 
3i4  31EM0IRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 1  f .  *•  On  the  moral  Effects  of  preaching  Christ  crucijicd. 
 
 "  It  is  worthy  of  remark,  that  numbers  of  these  people  are 
 brought  to  a  strict  compliance  with  the  rules  o(  rnoraliti/  and  so- 
 briety, and  to  a  conscientious  performance  of  the  external  duties 
 of  Christianity,  by  the  internal  power  and  intiucnce  of  divine 
 truths — the  peculiar  doctrines  of  grace — upon  their  minds;  with- 
 out their  having  these  moral  duties  frequently  repeated  and  incul- 
 cated upon  them,  and  the  contrary  vices  particularly  exposed  and 
 spoken  against.  What  has  been  the  general  strain  and  drift  of 
 my  preaching  among  these  Indians,  what  were  the  truths  I  prin- 
 cipally insisted  upon,  and  how  I  was  influenced  and  enabled  to 
 dwell  from  time  to  time  upon  the  peculiar  doctrines  of  grace,  i 
 have  already  observed  in  the  preceding  remarks.  Those  doc- 
 trines, which  had  the  most  direct  tendency  to  humble  the  fallen 
 creature;  to  shew  him  the  misery  of  his  na/wm/ state  ;  to  bring 
 him  down  to  the  foot  of  sovereign  mercy,  and  to  exalt  the  great 
 Redeemer — discover  his  transcendent  excellency  and  infinite 
 preciousness,  and  so  to  recommend  him  to  the  sinner's  accept- 
 ance— were  the  subject-matter  of  w^hat  was  delivered  in  public 
 and  private  to  them,  and  from  time  to  time  repeated  and  incul- 
 cated upon  them. 
 
 *'  God  was  pleased  to  give  these  divine  truths  such  a  powerful 
 influence  upon  the  minds  of  these  people,  and  so  to  bless  them 
 for  the  etfectual  awakening  of  numbers  of  them,  that  their  lives 
 were  quickly  reformed,  without  my  iiisisting  upon  ih^ precepts  of 
 moralitj,  aud  spending  time  in  repeated  harangues  upon  external 
 duties.  There  was  indeed  no  room  for  any  kind  of  discourses, 
 but  those  which  respected  the  essentials  of  religion,  and  the  ex-. 
 perhnental  knowledge  of  divine  things,  while  there  were  so  many 
 inquiring  daily — not  how  they  should  regulate  their  external  con- 
 duct, (or  that,  persons  who  are  honestly  disposed  to  comply  with 
 duty,  when  known,  may  in  ordinary  cases,  be  easily  satisiied  a- 
 bout,  but — how  the^  should  escape  from  the  wrath  they  feared, 
 and  felt  a  desert  of, — obtain  an  effectual  change  of  heart, — get  an 
 interest  in  Christ, — and  come  to  the  enjoyment  of  eternal  bles- 
 sedness ?  So  that  my  great  work  still  was  to  lead  them  into  a  fur- 
 ther view  of  their  utter  undoneness  in  themselves,  the  total  de- 
 pravity and  corruption  of  theirhearts  ;  that  there  was  no  manner 
 of  goodness  in  thmi  ;  no  good  dispositions  nor  desires  :  no  love 
 to  God,  nor  delight  in  his  commands  :  but,  on  the  contrary,  ha- 
 tred, enmity,  and  all  manner  of  wickedness  reignirjg  in  (hem  : — 
 And  at  the  same  time  to  open  to  them  the  glorious  and  complete 
 remedy  provided  in  Christ  for  helpless  perishing  sinners,  and  of- 
 fered freely    to   those  who  have  no  goodness   of  their  own,  no 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  325 
 
 •'  works  of  righteousness  which  thej  have  done,  to    recommend 
 them  to  God. 
 
 *'  This  was  the  continued  strain  of  my  preaching  ;  this  my 
 §reat  concern  and  constant  endeavour,  so  to  enhghten  the  mind, 
 as  thereby  duly  to  atfcct  the  hearty  and,  as  far  as  possible,  give 
 persons  a  sense  o^ feeling  of  these  precious  and  important  doc- 
 trines of  grace,  at  least,  so  far  as  means  might  conduce  to  it. 
 These  were  the  doctrines,  and  this  the  method  of  preaching,  which 
 were  blessed  of  God  for  the  awakening,  and  I  trust,  the  saving 
 conversion  of  numbers  of  souls  ; — and  which  were  made  the 
 means  of  producing  a  remarkable  reformation  among  the  hearers 
 in  general. 
 
 '•  When  these  truths  were  felt  at  hearty  there  was  now  no  vice 
 unreformed, — no  external  duty  neglected. — Drunkenness,  the 
 darling  vice,  was  broken  off  from,  and  scarce  an  instance  of  it 
 known  among  my  hearers  for  months  together.  7'he  abusive 
 practice  of  husbands  and  wives  in  putting  away  each  other,  and 
 taking  others  in  their  stead,  was  quickly  reformed  ;  so  that  there 
 are  three  or  four  couple  who  have  voluntarily  dismissed  those 
 whom  they  had  wrongfully  taken,  and  now  live  together  in  love 
 and  peace.  The  same  might  be  said  of  all  other  vicious  practi- 
 ces.— The  reformation  was  general  ;  and  all  springing  from  the 
 internal  influence  of  divine  truths  upon  their  hearts  ;  and  not  from 
 any  external  restraints,  or  because  they  had  heard  these  vices 
 particularly  exposed,  and  repeatedly  spoken  against.  Some  of 
 them  I  never  so  much  as  mentioned  ;  particularly,  that  of  the 
 parting  of  men  and  their  wives,  till  some,  having  their  conscience 
 awakened  by  God's  word,  came,  and  of  their  own  accord,  confess- 
 ed themselves  guilty  in  that  respect.  When  I  at  any  time  men- 
 tioned their  wicked  practices,  and  the  sins  they  were  guilty  of  con- 
 trary to  the  light  of  nature^  it  was  not  with  a  design,  nor  indeed 
 with  any  liope,  of  working  an  elfcctual  reformation  in  their  ex- 
 ternal manners  by  this  means,  for  I  knew,  that  while  the  tree  re- 
 mained corrupt^  the  fruit  would  naturally  be  so.  My  design  was 
 to  lead  them,  by  observing  the  wickedness  of  their  lives,  to  a  view 
 of  the  corruption  of  their  hearts^  arid  so  to  convince  them  of  the 
 necessity  of  a  renovation  of  nature,  and  to  excite  them  v*'ith  the 
 uimost  diligence  to  seek  after  that  great  change  ;  which,  if  once 
 obtained,  I  was  sensible,  would  of  course  produce  a  reformation 
 of  externa!  manners  in  every  respect. 
 
 '•  And  as  all  vice  was  reformed  upon  i\\(i\T feeling  the  power  of 
 the^e  truths  upon  their  hearts,  so  the  external  duties  of  Christiani- 
 ty wire  complied  with,  and  conscientiously  performed  from  the 
 same  internal  influence;  family  prayer  set  up,  and  constaiitly 
 maintained,  unless  among  some  ic\w  more  lately  come,  who  had 
 
326  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 felt  little  of  this  divine  influence.  This  duty  was  constantly  per- 
 fornned,  even  in  sonne  families  where  there  were  none  hut  females^ 
 and  scarce  a  prayerless  person  was  to  be  found  annong  near  an 
 hundred  of  them.  The  Lord's  day  was  seriously  and  religious- 
 ly observed,  and  care  taken  by  parents  to  keep  their  children  or- 
 derly upon  that  sacred  day  ;  and  this,  not  because  I  had  driven 
 them  to  the  performance  of  these  duties,  by  frequently  inculca- 
 ting them,  but  because  they  had  felt  the  power  of  God's  word 
 upon  their  hearts, — were  made  sensible  of  their  sin  and  misery, 
 and  thence  could  not  but  pray,  and  comply  with  every  thing 
 which  they  knew  to  be  their  duty,  from  what  they  felt  within 
 themselves.  When  their  hearts  were  touched  with  a  sense  of 
 their  eternal  concerns,  they  could  pray  with  great  freedom,  as 
 well  as  fervency,  without  being  at  the  trouble  first  to  learn  set 
 forms  for  that  purpose.  Some  of  them,  who  were  suddenly  awa- 
 kened at  their  first  coming  among  us,  were  brought  to  pray  and 
 cry  for  mercy  with  the  utmost  importunity,  without  ever  being 
 instructed  in  the  duty  of  prayer,  or  so  much  as  once  directed  to  a 
 performance  of  it. 
 
 '•  The  happy  effects  of  these  peculiar  doctrines  of  grace,  upon 
 which  I  have  so  much  insisted  upon  this  people,  plainly  discover, 
 even  to  demonstration,  that,  instead  of  liieir  opening  a  door  to  li- 
 centiousness, as  many  vainly  imagine,  and  slaDcleroasiy  insinuate, 
 they  have  a  directly  contrary  tendency  ;  so  that  a  close  applica- 
 tion, a  sense  i\nd  feeling  of  them,  will  have  the  most  powerful  in- 
 fluence toward  the  renovation,  and  eficiuul  reformation  both  of 
 heart  and  life. 
 
 '•  Happy  experience,  as  well  as  t!ie  word  of  God,  and  the  ex- 
 ample of  Christ  and  his  apostles,  has  taught  me,  that  ihe  very 
 method  of  preaching  which  is  best  suited  to  awaken  in  mankind  a 
 sense  and  lively  apprehensioj^  of  their  depravity  and  misery  in  a 
 fallen  state^ — to  excite  them  earnestly  to  seek  after  a  change  of 
 heart,  as  to  fly  for  refuge  to  (ree  and  sovereign  grace  in  Christ  as 
 the  only  hope  set  before  them,  is  likely  to  be  mosi  stwcessful  in  the 
 reformation  of  their  external  conduct. —  I  have  found  that  close  ad- 
 dresses, ar.d  solemn  applications  of  divine  truth  to  the  conscience, 
 strike  at  the  root  of  all  vice  ;  while  sniooth  and  plausible  ha- 
 rangues upon  moral  virtues  and  external  duties^  at  best  are  like  to 
 do  no  more  than  lop  olf  the  branches  of  corruption,  while  the  root 
 of  all  vice  retnains  still  untouched. 
 
 "  A  view  of  the  blessed  etfixt  of  honest  endeavours  to  bring 
 home  divine  truths  to  the  conscience,  and  duly  to  affect  the  heart 
 with  them,  has  often  retninded  me  of  those  words  of  our  Lord, 
 which  I  have  thought  mi<.^ht  be  a  proper  exhortation  for  ministers 
 in  respect  of  their  treating  with  others,  as  well  as  for  persons  in 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  327 
 
 general  with  regard  to  themselves,  "  Cleanse  first  the  inside  of 
 the  Clip  and  platter,  that  the  outside  may  be  clean  also."  Cleanse, 
 says  be,  the  inside,  that  the  outside  may  be  clean.  As  if  he  had 
 said.  The  only  effectual  way  to  have  the  outside  clean,  is  to  be- 
 gin with  with  ivhat  is  loithin  ;  and  if  (he  fountain  be  purified,  the 
 streams  will  naturally  be  pure.  Most  certain  it  is,  if  we  can  a- 
 waken  in  sinners  a  lively  sense  of  their  inward  pollution  and  de- 
 pravity— their  need  of  a  change  of  heart — and  so  engage  them  to 
 seek  after  inward  cleansing,  their  external  defilement  will  natural- 
 ly be  cleansed,  their  vicious  ways  of  course  be  reformed,  and 
 their  conversation  and  behaviour  become  regular. 
 
 "  Now,  alfhough  I  cannot  pretend  that  the  reformation  among 
 my  people,  does,  in  every  instance,  spring  from  a  saving  change 
 of  heart ;  yet  I  may  truly  say,  it  flows  from  some  hrart-affecting 
 view  and  sense  of  divine  truths  which  all  have  had  in  a  greater  or 
 less  degree. — I  do  not  intend,  by  what  I  have  observed  here,  to 
 represent  the  preaching  oi  morality  and  pressing  persons  to  the 
 external  performance  of  duty,  to  be  altogether  unnecessary  and 
 useless  at  any  tirne  ;  and  especially  at  times  when  there  is  less  of 
 divine  power  attending  the  means  of  grace; — when,  for  want  of 
 internal  influences,  there  is  need  of  external  restraints.  It  is 
 doubtless  among  the  things  that  "  ought  to  be  done,"  while  "  oth- 
 ers are  not  to  be  left  undone." — But  what  I  principally  designed 
 hy  this  remark,  was  to  discover  a  plain  matter  of  fact,  viz,  7'hat 
 the  reformation,  the  sobriety,  and  the  external  compliance  with 
 the  rules  and  duties  of  Christianity,  appearing  among  my  people, 
 are  not  the  efifect  of  any  mere  doctrinal  instruction,  or  merely  ra- 
 tional view  of  the  beauty  o(  morality,  but  from  the  internal  pow- 
 er and  influence  which  the  soul  humbling  doctrines  of  grace  have 
 had  upon  their  hearts. 
 
 III.  ^^  On  the  Continuance,  Renewal,  and  Quickness  of  the  Work, 
 "  It  is  remarkable,  that  God  has  so  continued  and  renewed  the 
 showers  of  his  grace  here  ; — so  quickly  set  up  his  visible  kingdom 
 among  these  people  ;  and  so  smiled  upon  them  in  relation  to  their 
 acquirement  of  knowledge,  both  divine  and  human.  It  is  now 
 nearly  a  year  since  the  beginning  of  this  gracious  outpouring  of 
 the  divine  Spirit  among  them  ;  and  although  it  has  often  seemed 
 to  decline  and  abate  for  some  short  space  of  time — as  may  be  ob- 
 served by  several  passages  of  my  Joz/nm/,  where  I  have  endeav- 
 oured to  note  things  just  as  they  appeared  to  me — yet  the  show- 
 er has  seemed  to  be  renewed,  and  the  work  of  grace  revived  z^^dim. 
 A  divine  influence  seems  still  apparently  to  attend  the  means  of 
 grace,  in  a  greater  or  less  degree,  in  most  of  our  meetings  for  re- 
 ligious exercises  ;  whereby  religious  persons  are  refreshed, 
 strengthened,  and  established, — convictions  revived  and   promo- 
 
320  MEMOIRS  OF   BRAIXERD. 
 
 led  in  many  instances,  and  sonne  few  persons  newly  awakened 
 from  time  to  time,  ft  must  be  acknowledc!;ed,  that  for  some  time 
 past,  there  has,  in  general,  appeared  a  more  maniTest  decline  of 
 this  work;  and  the  divine  Spirit  has  seemed,  in  a  considerable 
 measure,  withdrawn,  especially  with  regard  to  his  awakening  in- 
 fluence— so  that  the  strangcr.^i  who  come  latterly,  are  not  seized 
 with  concern  as  formerly  ;  and  some  few  who  have  been  much 
 ail'ected  with  divine  truths  in  time  past,  isow  appear  less  concern- 
 ed.— Yet,  bleseed  be  God,  there  is  still  an  appearance  of  divine 
 power  and  grace,  a  desirable  degree  of  tenderness,  religious  af- 
 fection and  devotion  in  our  assemblies. 
 
 "  As  God  has  continued  and  renewed  the  showers  of  his  grace 
 amonsj  this  people  for  some  time  ;  so  he  has  with  uncommon 
 (jnicktiess  set  up  his  visible  kingdom,  and  gathered  himself  a 
 church  in  the  midst  of  them.  I  have  now  baptized,  since  the  con- 
 clusion of  my  last  Journal,  (or  the  First  Part,)  thirty  persons,  jf/*- 
 teen  adults  and  fifteen  children.  Which  added  to  the  number 
 there  mentioned,  makes  sevcnty-seveji  persons;  whereof </t?r/^- 
 eight  are  adults,  and  thirty-nine  children  ;  and  all  within  the 
 space  of  eleven  months  past. — It  must  be  noted,  that  I  have  bap- 
 tized no  adults,  but  such  as  appeared  to  have  a  work  of  special 
 grace  wrought  in  their  hearts  ;  I  mean  such  as  have  had  the  expe- 
 rience not  only  of  the  awakening  and  humbling,  but  in  a  judg- 
 ment of  charity,  of  the  renewing  and  confirming  influences  of  the 
 divine  Spirit.  There  are  many  others  under  solemn  concern  for 
 their  souls,  who  I  apprehend,  are  persons  of  sufficient  knowl- 
 edge, and  visible  seriousness,  at  present,  to  render  them  proper 
 subjects  of  the  ordinance  of  baptism.  Yet  since  they  give  no 
 fomfortahle  evidence  of  ^  saving  change,  but  only  appear  under 
 convictions  of  their  sin  and  misery  ;  as  the  propensity  in  this  peo- 
 ple to  abuse  themselves  with  strong  drink  is  naturally  \Gvy  great ; 
 and  as  some,  who  at  present  appear  serious  and  concerned  for 
 their  souls,  may  lose  their  concern,  and  return  to  this  sin,  and  so, 
 if  baptized,  prove  a  scandal  to  their  profession;  I  have  thought 
 proper  hitherto  to  defer  their  baptism. 
 
 ''  I  likewise  administered  the  Lord's  supper  to  a  number  of  per- 
 sons, who  I  have  abinidant  reason  to  think,  as  I  elsewhere  ob- 
 served, were  proper  subjects,  of  that  ordinance,  within  the  space 
 of  ten  months  nud  ten  days,  after  my  tirst  coming  among  these  In- 
 dians in  New-Jersey.  From  the  time,  when,  as  1  am  informed, 
 some  of  them  attending  an  idolatrous  feast  and  sacrifice  in  honour 
 to  devils,  to  the  time  when  they  sat  down  at  the  Lord's  table,  I 
 trust  to  the  honour  of  God,  was  not  more  than  a /?i// ?/car.  Sure- 
 ly Christ's  little   flock  here,  so  suddenly  gathered    from  among 
 
MExMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  329 
 
 Pasjans,  may  justly  say,  in  the  language  of  the  church  of  old, 
 *'  The  Lord  hath  done  great  things  for  us,  wliercof  we  are  glad." 
 
 "  Much  of  the  goodness  of  God  has  also  appeared  in  relation 
 Xo  their  acquirement  of  knowledge,  both  in  religion  and  in  the  af- 
 fairs of  common  life.  There  has  been  a  wonderful  thirst  after 
 Christian  knowledge  prevailing  among  them  in  general,  and  an 
 eager  desire  of  being  instructed  in  Christian  doctrines  and  man- 
 ners. This  has  prompted  them  to  ask  many  pertinent  as  well  as 
 important  questions  ;  the  answers  to  which  have  tended  much  to 
 enlighten  their  minds,  and  promote  their  knowledge  in  divine 
 things.  Many  of  the  doctrines  which  I  have  delivered,  they  have 
 queried  with  me  about,  in  order  to  gain  further  light  and  insight 
 into  them  ;  particularly  the  doctrine  o^ predestination ;  and  have 
 from  time  to  time  manifested  a  good  understanding  of  them,  by 
 their  answers  to  the  questions  proposed  to  them  in  my  chatechcti- 
 cal  lectures, 
 
 '*  They  have  likewise  queried  with  me,  respecting  a  proper 
 method^  as  well  as  proper  matter^  of  prayer,  and  expressions 
 suitable  to  be  used  in  that  religious  exercise  ;  and  have  taken 
 pains  in  order  to  the  performance  of  this  duty  with  understand- 
 ing.— They  have  likewise  taken  pains,  and  appeared  remarkably 
 apt  in  learning  to  sing  Psahn-tunes^  and  are  now  able  to  sing  with 
 a  good  degree  of  decency  in  the  worship  of  God. — They  have  al- 
 so acquired  a  considerable  degree  of  useful  knowledge  in  the  af- 
 fairs of  common  life  ;  so  that  they  now  appear  like  rational  crea- 
 tures, fit  for  human  society,  free  of  that  savage  roughness  and 
 brutish  stupidity,  which  rendered  them  very  disagreeable  in  their 
 Pagan  state. 
 
 "  They  seem  ambitious  of  a  thorough  acquaintance  with  the 
 English  language,  and  for  that  end  frequently  speak  it  among 
 themselves.  Many  of  them  have  made  good  proficiency  in  their 
 acquirement  of  it,  since  my  coming  among  them  ;  so  that  most 
 of  them  can  understand  a  considerable  part,  and  some  the 
 substance  of  my  discourses,  without  an  interpreter^  being  used  to 
 my  low  and  vulgar  methods  of  expression,  though  they  could  not 
 well  understand  other  ministers. 
 
 "  As  they  are  desirous  of  instruction,  and  surprisingly  apt  in 
 the  reception  of  it,  so  divine  Providence  has  smiled  upon  them 
 with  regard  to  the  proper  means  in  order  to  it.  The  attempts 
 made  fof  the  procurement  of  a  school  among  them  have  been 
 succeeded,  and  a  kind  providence  has  sent  them  a  schoolmaster 
 of  whom  I  may  justly  say,  I  know  of  "  no  man  like  minded,  who 
 will  naturally  care  for  their  state." — He  has  generally  thirty  or 
 thirty-Jive  children  in  his  school  :  and  when  he  kept  an  evening 
 
 42 
 
330  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 school,  as  he  did  while  the  length  of  the  evenings  would  admit  of 
 it,  he  h^dffteen  or  iiocnt)/  people,  nnarried  and  single. 
 
 "  The  children  learn  with  surprising  readiness  ;  so  that  their 
 master  tells  me,  he  never  had  an  English  school  which  learned, 
 in  general,  comparably  so  fast.  There  were  not  above  two  in 
 thirty^  although  some  of  them  were  very  small,  but  that  learned 
 to  know  all  i\\elettersm  the  alphabet  distinctly,  within  three  days 
 after  his  entrance  upon  his  business  ;  and  several  in  that  space  of 
 time  learned  to  spell  considerably.  Some  of  them,  since  the  be- 
 gir)ning  of  February  last,*  when  the  school  was  set  up,  have  learn- 
 ed so  much,  that  they  are  able  to  read  in  a  Psalter  or  Testament, 
 without  spelling. 
 
 '•  They  are  instructed  twice  a  week  in  the  Assembly's  Shorter 
 Catechism,  on  Wednesday  and  Saturday.  Some  of  them,  since 
 the  latter  end  of  February,  when  they  began,  have  learned  to 
 say  it  pretty  distinctly  bi/  heart  considerably  more  than  half 
 through  ;  and  most  of  them  have  made  some  pi-oficiency  in  it. 
 
 '"'  They  are  likewise  instructed  in  the  duty  of  secret  prayer, 
 and  most  of  them  constantly  attend  it  night  and  morning,  and  are 
 very  careful  to  inform  their  master  if  they  apprehend  that  any  of 
 their  little  school-mates  neglect  that  religious  exercise. 
 
 IV.   "  On  the  little  .'Appearance  of  False  Religion, 
 
 "  It  is  worthy  to  be  noted,  to  the  praise  of  sovereign  grace,  that 
 amidst  so  great  a  work  of  conviction — so  much  concern  and  reli- 
 gious afTection — there  has  been  no  prevalence,  nor  indeed  any 
 cons'\dev^h\{i  appearance  o{ false  religion,  if  I  may  so  term  it,  or 
 heats  of  imagination,  intemperate  zeal,  and  spiritual  pride  ; 
 which  corrupt  mixtures  too  often  attend  the  revival  and  powerful 
 propagation  of  religion ;  and  that  there  have  been  very  few  in- 
 stances of  irregular  and  scandalous  behaviour  among  those  who 
 have  appeared  serious.  I  may  justly  repeat  what  I  formerly  ob- 
 served, that  there  has  here  been  no  appearance  of  "  bodily  ago- 
 nies, convulsions,  frightful  screamings,  swoonings,"  and  the 
 like  ;  and  may  now  further  add,  that  there  has  been  uopreva- 
 lence  of  visions,  trances,  and  imaginations  of  any  kind;  although 
 there  has  been  some  appearance  of  something  of  that  nature;  an 
 instance  of  which  I  have  given  an  account.of  in  my  Diary  for  De- 
 cember 26. 
 
 "'  But  this  work  of  grace  has,  in  the  main,  been  carried  on  with 
 a  surprising  degree  oi' purity,  and  freedom  from  trash  and  corrupt 
 mixture.  The  religious  concern  under  which  persons  have  been, 
 has  generally  been  rational  'M\i\just  ;  arising  from  a  sense  of  their 
 sins    and    exposedness   to   the   divine    displeasure  on  account  of 
 
 *  In  less  than  five  months,   viz.  from  Feb.  1,  to  June  19. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  331 
 
 them  ;  as  well  as  their  utter  inability  to  deliver  themselves  from 
 the  misery  which  thev  teltand  feared.  If  there  has  heen,  in  any 
 instance,  an  appearance  of  concern  and  perturbation  of  mind, 
 when  the  subjects  of  it  knew  not  why ;  yet  there  has  been  no 
 prevalence  of  any  such  thing;  and  indeed  I  scarcely  know  of  any 
 instance  of  that  nature  at  all. — It  is  very  remarkable,  that,  al- 
 though the  concern  of  many  persons  under  convictions  of  their 
 perishing  state  has  been  very  great  and  pressing,  yet  I  have  never 
 seen  any  thing  like  r/e^joerf/Zio/i  attending  it  in  any  one  instance. 
 They  have  had  the  most  lively  sense  of  their  uncloneness  in  them- 
 selves ;  have  been  brought  to  give  up  all  hopes  of  deliverance 
 from  themselves  ;  have  experienced  great  distress  and  anguish  of 
 soul ;  and  yet,  in  the  seasons  of  the  greatest  extremity,  there  has 
 been  no  appearance  of  f/c5/?«/r  in  any  of  them, — nothing  that  has 
 discouraged,  or  in  any  wise  hindered  them  from  the  most  diligent 
 use  of  all  proper  means  for  their  conversion  and  salvation.  Hence 
 it  is  apparent,  that  there  is  not  that  danger  of  persons  being  driv- 
 en into  despair  under  spiritual  trouble^  unless  in  cases  of  deep 
 and  habitual  melancholy,  which  the  world  in  general  is  ready  to 
 imagine. 
 
 "  The  comfort  which  persons  have  obtained  after  their  dis- 
 tresses, has  likewise  in  general  appeared  solid,  well  grounded, 
 and  scriptural  ;  arising  from  a  spiritual  and  supernatural  illumina- 
 tion of  mind, — a  view  of  divine  things,  in  a  measure,  as  they  are, 
 — a  complacency  of  soul  in  the  divine  perfections, — and  a  pecu- 
 liar satisfaction  in  the  ?««^  o/'s-a/rar/o/i  by  free  sovereign  grace  in 
 the  great  Redeemer. 
 
 "  Their  joys  have  seemed  to  rise  from  a  variety  of  views  and 
 considerations  of  divine  things,  although  for  substance  the  same. 
 Some,  who  under  conviction  seemed  to  have  the  hardest  struggles 
 and  heart-risings  against  the  divine  sovereignty,  have  seemed,  at 
 the  first  dawn  of  their  comfort,  to  rejoice  in  a  peculiar  manner  in 
 that  divine  perfection  : — and  have  been  delighted  to  think  that 
 themselves,  and  all  things  else,  were  in  the  hand  of  God,  and  that 
 he  would  dispose  of  them  "  just  as  he  pleased." 
 
 "  Others,  who  just  before  their  reception  of  comfort,  have 
 been  remarkably  oppressed  with  a  sense  of  their  undoneness  and 
 poverty,  who  have  seen  themselves,  as  it  were,  falling  down  into 
 remediless  perdition,  have  been  at  first  more  peculiarly  delight- 
 ed with  a  view  o{  the  freencss  and  riches  of  divine  grace,  and  the 
 olfer  of  salvation  made  to  perishing  sinners  "  without  money,  and 
 without  price." 
 
 "  Some  have  at  first  appeared  to  rejoice  especially  in  the  wisdom 
 of  God,  discovered  in  the  way  of  salvation  by  Christ ;  it  then  ap- 
 pearing to  them  "  a  new  and  living  way,"  a    way  of  which   th^y 
 
332  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 had  never  thought,  nor  had  any  just  conceptions,  until  opened  to 
 them  by  the  special  influence  of  the  divine  Spirit.  Some  of  them, 
 w^on  diV\\'Q\y  spiritual  view  of  this  way  of  salvation,  have  won- 
 dered at  their  past  folly  in  seeking  salvation  in  other  ways,  and 
 have  wondered  that  they  never  saw  (his  way  of  salvation  before, 
 which  now  appeared  so  plain  and  easy,  as  well  as  excellent  to 
 them. 
 
 •'  Others,  again,  have  had  a  more  general  view  of  the  beauty 
 and  excellency  of  Christ,  and  have  had  their  souls  delighted  with 
 an  apprehension  of  his  divine  glory,  as  unspeakably  exceeding  «// 
 of  which  they  had  ever  conceived  before  ;  yet,  without  singling 
 out  any  one  of  the  divine  perfections  in  particular;  so  that  al- 
 though their  comforts  have  seemed  to  arise  from  a  variety  of 
 views  and  considerations  of  divine  glories,  still  they  were  spiritual 
 and  supernatural  views  of  them,  and  not  groundless  fancies,  which 
 were  the  spring  of  their  joys  and  comforts. 
 
 "  Yet  it  must  be  acknowledged,  that,  when  this  work  became 
 so  universal  d^wA prevalent,  and  gained  such  general  credit  and  es- 
 teem among  the  Indians  as  Satan  seemed  to  have  little  advantage 
 of  working  against  it  in  his  own  proper  garb,  he  then  transformed 
 himself  "  into  an  angel  of  light."  and  made  some  vigorous  at- 
 tempts to  introduce  turbulent  commotions  of  the  passions  in  the 
 room  of  genuine  convictions  of  sin,  imaginary  and  fanciful  notions 
 of  Christ,  as  appearing  to  the  mental  eye  in  a  human  shape,  and 
 in  some  particular  postures,  <Sz;c.  in  the  room  oi'  spiritual  and  su- 
 pernatural discoveries  of  his  divine  glory  and  excellenc}',  as  well 
 as  divers  other  delusions.  I  have  reason  to  think,  that,  if  these 
 things  had  met  with  countenance  and  encouragement,  there  would 
 have  been  a  very  considerable  harvest  o[  this  kind  o(  converts 
 here. 
 
 "  Spiritual  pride  also  discovered  itself  in  various  instances. 
 Some  persons  who  had  been  under  great  atTcctions,  seemed  very 
 desirous  from  (hence  of  being  thought  truly  gracious  :  who,  when 
 1  could  not  but  express  to  them  my  fears  respecting  their  spiritual 
 state,  discovered  their  resentments  to  a  considerable  di^gree  upon 
 that  occasion.  There  also  appeared  in  one  or  /zyoof  them  an  un- 
 becoming ambition  of  he'my^  teachers  of  others.  So  that  S«^«/i 
 lias  been  a  busy  adversary  here,  as  well  as  elsewhere.  But  bles- 
 sed be  God,  though  something  of  this  nature  has  appeared,  yet 
 nothing  of  it  has  prevailed,  nor  indeed  made  any  considerable 
 progress  at  all.  My  people  are  now  apprised  of  these  things,  are 
 made  acquainted,  that  Satan  in  such  a  manner  '*  transformed 
 himself  into  an  angel  of  liglit,"  in  the  first  season  of  the  great  GM^ 
 pourin_^  of  the  divine  Spirit  in  the  days  of  the  apostles  ;  and  that 
 something  of  lhi'>  nature,  in  a  greater  or  less  degree,  has  attended 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  333 
 
 almost  every  revival  and  remarkable  ^ro/?fl^'flf//on  of  true  religion 
 ever  since.  They  have  learned  so  to  distinguish  between  the 
 gold  and  dross^  that  the  credit  of  the  latter  "  is  trodden  down  like 
 the  mire  of  the  streets  ;"  and,  as  it  is  natural  for  this  kind  of  stuff" 
 to  die  with  its  credit^  there  is  now  scarce  any  appearance  of  it 
 among  them. 
 
 "  As  there  has  been  no  prevalence  of  irregular  heats,  imagina- 
 ry notions,  spiritual  pride,  and  Satanical  delusions  among  my 
 people;  so  there  have  been  very  few  instances  o(  scandalous  and 
 it-regular  behaviour  among  those  who  have  made  a  profession,  or 
 even  an  appearance  of  seriousness.  I  do  not  know  of  more  than 
 three  or  four  suc^  persons  who  have  been  guilty  of  any  open  mis- 
 conduct, since  their  tirst  acquaintance  with  Christianity  ;  andnot 
 one  who  persists  in  any  thing  of  that  nature.  Perhaps  the  re- 
 markable purity  of  this  work  in  the  latter  respect,  its  freedom 
 from  frequent  instances  of  scandal,  is  very  much  owing  to  its  pu- 
 rity in  the  ybrme/- respect,  its  freedom  from  corrupt  mixtures  of 
 spiritual  pride,  wild-fire,  and  delusion,  which  naturally  lay  a 
 foundation  for  scandalous  practices. 
 
 "May  this  blessed  work  in  the  power  and  purity  of  it  prevail 
 among  the  poor  Indians  here,  as  well  as  spread  elsewhere,  till 
 their  remotest  tribes  shall  see  the  salvation  of  God  !     Amen."* 
 
 *  ^^  Money  collected  aad  expended  for  tlie  Indians. — As  mention  has  been  made  in 
 the  preceding  Diary,  of  an  English  sc/joo/  erected  and  continued  among  these  In- 
 dians, dependent  entirely  upon  charity  ;  and  as  collections  have  ah'eady  been  made 
 in  divers  places  for  the  support  or  it,  as  well  as  ibr  defraying  other  charges  which 
 have  necessarily  arisen  in  the  promotion  of  the  religious  interests  of  the  Indians  ;  it 
 may  he  satisfactory,  and  perhaps  will  be  thought  by  some  but  apiece  of  justice 
 to  the  world,  that  an  exact  account  be  here  given  of  the  money  already  received 
 by  way  of  collection  for  the  benefit  of  the  Indians,  and  the  manner  in  which  it  has 
 been  expended. 
 
 The  following  is  therefore  a  just  account  of  this  matter  : — 
 Money  received  since  October  last,  by  way  of  public  collection,  for  promoting  the 
 religious  interests  of  tha  Indians  in  New- Jersey,  viz. 
 
 £.     s.     d. 
 
 From  New- York 23  10    2 
 
 Jamaica  on  Long-Island         ....  300 
 
 Elizabeth-Tov.'n         ...  .  .  750 
 
 Elizabeth-Town  Farms  .  .  .  1   18     9 
 
 Newark  .  .  .  .  .457 
 
 "Woodbridge  .  .  .  .  2  18     2 
 
 Morris-'I'ov/n  .  .  .  .  15     3 
 
 Freehold  .  .  .  .  .       12  11     0 
 
 Freehold  Dutch  congregation  .  .  4  14     3 
 
 Shrewsbury  and  Shark-river         .  .  .  3     5     0 
 
 Middle-Town  Dutch  congregation  .  .         2     0     0 
 
 The  Dutch  congregation  in  and  about  N.  Brunswik   3     5     0 
 King's -Town  .  .  .  .  5  11     0 
 
 Neshaminy,  and  places  adjacent  in  Pennsylvania    14     5  10 
 Abington  and  New-Pro\  ideuce,  by  the  hand  of 
 
 the  Rev.  Mr.  Treat  .  .  .        10    5     0 
 
 The  whole  amounting  to  £100    0    0 
 
334  MEiMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 Money  paid  out  since  October  last  for  promoting  the  religious   interests  of  the   In- 
 dians in  New-Jersey,  viz. 
 
 £'.  s.  d. 
 
 Upon  the  occasion  mentioned  in  my  Journal  of  Jan.  28  82  5  0 
 
 For  the  building  of  a  school-house  .  .  .  3  5  0 
 
 To  the  schoolmaster  as  a  part  of  his  reward  for  his  present 
 
 year's  service  ,  .  .  .  .         17  10  0 
 
 For  books  for  the  children  to  learn  in  .  .  3  0  0 
 
 The  whole  amounting  to  £106     0     0 
 
 DAVID  BRAINERD.' 
 
CHAPTER  X. 
 
 general  Remarks  on  the  Work  of  Grace  at  Crossioeeksung  con- 
 tinned. — Introduction. — Method  of  learning  the  Indian  Lan- 
 guage.— Method  of  Instructing  the  Indians. — Difficulties  in  the 
 way  in  converting  them  to  Christianity, — Attestations  of  neis;h- 
 houring  Ministers,  Elders  and  Deacons  to  the  Display  of  Di- 
 vine grace  at  Crossweeksung, 
 
 "  I  should  hat*e  concluded  what  f  had  at  present  to  offer,  upon 
 the  affairs  respecting  my  mm?07i,  with  the  preceding  account  of 
 the  money  collected  and  expended  for  the  religious  interests  of 
 the  Indians,  but  that  I  have  not  long  since  received  from  the  Rev. 
 President  of  the  correspondents,  the  copy  of  a  letter  directed  to 
 him  from  the  Hon.  Society  for  propagating  Christian  knowledge, 
 dated  Edinburgh,  March  21,  1745.  Wherein  I  find  it  is  express- 
 ly enjoined  upon  their  missionaries,  "  That  they  give  an  exact 
 account  of  the  methods  they  make  use  of  for  instructing  them- 
 selves in  the  Indians'  language,  and  what  progress  they  have  al- 
 ready made  in  it ;  of  what  methods  they  are  now  taking  to  instruct 
 the  Indians  in  the  principles  of  our  holy  religion  ;  and  particular- 
 /y  of  what  difficulties  they  have  already  met  with,  and  of  the 
 methods  they  make  use  of  for  surmounting  the  same." 
 
 "  As  to  the  trvo  former  of  these  particulars,  I  trust  that  what  I 
 have  already  noted  in  my  communications  from  time  to  time, 
 might  have  been  in  good  measure  satisfictory  to  the  Hon.  Socie- 
 ty, h'dd  they  arrived  saf el)/ and  seasonahly  ;  which  I  am  sensible 
 they  have  not  in  general  done,  by  reason  of  their  falling  into  the 
 hands  of  the  enemy  ;  although  I  have  been  at  the  pains  of  send- 
 ing two  copies  of  each,  for  more  than  two  years  past,  lest  one 
 might  miscarry  in  the  passage.  With  relation  to  the  latter  of 
 these  particulars,  I  have  purposely  omitted  saying  any  thing  con- 
 siderable, and  that  for  these  two  reasons.  First,  because  I  could 
 not  oftentinaes  give  any  tolerable  account  of  the  difficulties  which 
 I  met  with  in  my  work,  without  speaking  somewhat  particularly 
 o{  the  causes  of  them,  ^nd  the  circumstances  conducing  to  them, 
 which  would  necessarily  have  rendered  my  journals  very  tedious. 
 Besides,  some  of  the  causes  of  my  difficulties,  I  thought  more  fit 
 to  be  concealed  than  divulged.  Sccondlij,  because  I  thought  that 
 a  frequent  mention  of  the  difficulties  attending  my  work,  might 
 appear  an  unbecoming  complaint  under  my  burdens  ;  or  as  if  I 
 would  rather  be  thought  to  be  endowed  with  a  singular  measure 
 of  self  denial,  constancy,  and  holy  resolution,  to  meet  and  con- 
 
3Se  MEMOlllS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 front  so  many  difficulties,  and  yet  to  hold  on  and  go  forward  a- 
 nnidst  them  all.  But  since  the  Honourable  Society  are  pleased 
 to  require  a  more  exact  diU^  particular  account  of  these  things,  I 
 shall  cheerfully  endeavour  something  for  their  satisfaction  in  rela- 
 tion to  each  of  these  particulars  ;  although  with  regard  to  the  lat- 
 ter, I  am  ready  to  say,  Infandum — jubes  renovare  ddorcm, 
 
 SECT.  I. 
 
 "  Method  of  learning  the  Indian  Language, 
 
 "  The  most  successful  method  which  I  have  taken  for  instruct- 
 ing myself  in  any  of  the  Indian  languages,  is,  to  translate  English 
 discourses  by  the  help  of  an  interpreter  or  two,  into  their  lan- 
 guage, as  near  verbatim  as  the  sense  will  admit  of,  and  to  ob- 
 serve strictly  how  they   use  words,  and   what   construction  they 
 
 //  will  bear  in  various  cases  ;  and  thus  to  gain  some  acquaintance 
 with  the  root  from  whence  particular  words  proceed,  and  to  see 
 how  they  are  thence  varied  and  diversified.  But  here  occurs  a 
 Very  great  difficulty  ;  for  the  interpreters  being  unlearned,  and 
 unacquainted  with  the  rules  of  language,  it  is  impossible  some- 
 times to  know  by  them  what  part  of  speech  some  particular  word 
 is  of,  whether  noun,  verb,  or  participle^  for  they  seem  to  use 
 participles  sometimes  where  we  should  use  nouns,  and  sometimes 
 where  we  should  use  verbs  in  the  English  language. 
 
 "  But  I  have,  notwithstanding  many  difficulties,  gained  some 
 acquaintance  with  the  grounds  of  the  Delaware  language,  and 
 have  learned  most  of  the  defects  in  it ;  so  that  I    know  what  Eng- 
 
 (/  lish  words  can,  and  what  cannot  be  translated  into  it.  I  have  al- 
 so gained  some  acquaintance  with  the  particular  phraseologies, 
 as  well  as  peculiarities  of  their  language,  one  of  which  I  cannot 
 but  mention.  Their  language  does  not  admit  of  their  speaking 
 any  word  denoting  relation,  such  as,  father,  son,  &c.  absolutely  ; 
 that  is,  without  prefixing  a  pronoun-possessive  to  it,  such  as  my, 
 thy,  his,  S/c.  Hence  they  cannot  be  baptized  in  their  own  lan- 
 guage in  the  name  of  the  Father,  and  the  Son,  &:c.  ;  but  they  may 
 be  baptized  in  the  name  of  Jesus  Christ  and  liis  Father,  «Sic.  I 
 have  gained  so  much  knowledge  of  their  language,  that  I  can  un- 
 derstand a  considerable  part  of  what  they  say,  when  they  dis- 
 course upon  divine  things,  and  am  frequently  able  to  correct  my 
 interpreter,  if  he  mistakes  my  sense.  But  I  can  do  nothing  to 
 any  purpose  at  speaking  the  language  mvself. 
 
 "  As  an  apology  for  this  defect,  I  must  renew,  or  rather  enlarge 
 my  former  complaint,  viz. ; — That  '  while  so  much  of  my  time  is 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  337 
 
 necessarily  consumed  in  journeying,'  while  I  am  obliged  to  ride 
 four  thousand  miles  a  year,  as  1  have  done  in  the  year  past,  '  I 
 can  have  little  left  for  any  of  my  necessary  studies,  and  conse- 
 quently for  the  study  of  the  Indian  languages.'  This,  I  may  ven- 
 ture to  say,  is  the  great,  if  not  the  only  reason  why  the  Delaware 
 language  is  not  familiar  to  me  before  this  time.  It  is  impossible 
 that  1  should  ever  be  able  to  speak  it  without  close  application, 
 for  which,  at  present,  I  see  no  prospect  of  having  time.  To 
 preach  and  catechise  frequently  ;  to  converse  privately  with  per- 
 sons who  need  so  much  instruction  and  direction  as  these  poor 
 Indians  do  ;  to  take  care  of  all  their  secular  affairs,  as  if  they 
 were  a  company  of  children  ;  to  ride  about  frequently  in  order  to 
 procure  collections  for  the  support  of  the  school,  and  for  their 
 help  and  benefit  in  other  respects  ;  to  hear  and  decide  all  the 
 petty  differences  which  arise  among  any  of  them  ;  and  to  have 
 the  constant  oversight  and  management  of  all  their  affairs  of  ev- 
 ery kind  ;  must  needs  engross  most  of  my  time,  and  leave  me  lit- 
 tle for  application  to  the  study  of  the  Indian  languages.  When  I 
 add  to  this  the  time  that  is  necessarily  consumed  upon  my  Diary, 
 I  must  say  I  have  little  to  spare  for  other  business.  1  have  not, 
 as  was  observed  before,  sent  to  the  Hon.  Society  less  than  two 
 copies  of  every  journal,  for  more  than  two  years  past;  most  of 
 which,  I  suppose,  have  been  taken  by  the  French  in  their  pas- 
 sage. A  third  copy  I  have  constantly  kept  by  me,  lest  the  others 
 should  miscarry.  This  has  caused  me  not  a  little  labour,  and  so 
 straitened  me  for  time,  when  I  have  been  at  liberty  from  other 
 business,  and  had  opportunity  to  sit  down  to  write,  which  is  but 
 rare,  that  I  have  been  obliged  to  write  twelve  and  thirteen  hours 
 in  a  day  ;  till  my  spirits  have  been  extremely  wasted,  and  my  life 
 almost  spent,  to  get  these  writings  accomplished.  After  all;  af- 
 ter diligent  application  to  the  various  parts  of  my  work,  and  after 
 the  most  industrious  improvement  of  time,  of  wiiich  I  am  capa- 
 ble, both  early  and  late,  I  cannot  oftentimes  possibly  gain  two 
 hours  in  a  week  for  reading,  or  any  other  studies,  unless  just  for 
 what  appears,  of  absolute  necesshy  for  the  present.  Frequently 
 when  I  attempt  to  redeem  time,  by  sparing  it  out  of  my  sleeping 
 hours,  I  am  by  that  means  thrown  under  bodily  indisposition,  and 
 rendered  fit  for  nothing. — This  is  truly  my  present  state,  and  is 
 like  to  be  so,  for  aught  I  can  see,  unless  I  could  procure  an  assist- 
 ant in  my  work,  or  quit  my  present  business. 
 
 "  Although  I  have  not  made  that  proficiency  which  I  could 
 wish  to  have  made,  in  learning  the  Indian  languages  ;  yet  I  have 
 used  all  endeavours  to  instruct  them  in  the  English  toiigue;  which 
 perhaps  will  be  more  advantageous  to  the  Christian  interest 
 among  them,  than  if  I  should  preach  in  their  own  language ;  for 
 
 43 
 
338  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 that  is  very  defective,  as  I  shall  hereafter  observe,  so  that  many 
 things  cannot  be  communicated  to  them  without  introducing  Eng- 
 lish terms.  Besides,  they  can  have  no  books  translated  into  their 
 language,  without  great  difficulty  and  expense  ;  and  if  still  accus- 
 tomed to  their  own  language  only,  they  would  have  no  advantage 
 of  hearing  other  ministers  occasionally,  or  in  my  absence.  So 
 that  my  having  a  perfect  acquaintance  with  the  Indian  language, 
 would  be  of  no  great  importance  with  regard  to  this  congregation 
 of  Indians  in  New-Jersey,  although  it  might  be  of  great  service  trv 
 me  in  treating  with  the  Indians  elsewhere. 
 
 SECT.  II. 
 
 ''  Method  of  msiructing  the  Indians, 
 
 '•  The  method  which  I  am  taking  to  instruct  the  Indians  in  the 
 principles  of  our  holy  religion,  are,  to  preach,  or  open  and  im- 
 prove some  particular  points  of  doctrine  ;  to  expound  particular 
 paragraphs,  or  sometimes  whole  chapters  of  God's  word  to  them  ; 
 to  give  historical  relations  from  scripture  of  the  most  material  and 
 remarkable  occurrences  relating  to  the  church  of  God  from  the 
 beginning;  and  frequently  to  catechise  them  upon  the  principles 
 of  Christianity.  The  latter  of  these  methods  of  instructing,  I 
 manage  in  a  twofold  manner.  I  sometimes  catechise  systemati- 
 cally^ proposing  questions  agreeably  to  the  Assembly's  Shorter 
 Catechism.  This  I  have  carried  to  a  considerable  length.  Ai 
 other  times  I  catechise  upon  any  important  subject  which  I  think 
 difficult  to  them.  Sometimes,  when  I  have  discoursed  upon  some 
 particular  point,  and  made  it  as  plain  and  familiar  to  them  as  I 
 can,  I  then  catechise  them  upon  the  most  material  branches  of 
 my  discourse,  to  see  whether  they  had  a  thorough  understanding 
 of  it.  But  as  I  have  catechised  chiefly  in  a  systematical  form,  I 
 shall  here  give  some  specimen  of  the  method  1  make  use  of  in  it, 
 as  well  as  of  the  propriety  and  justness  of  my  people's  answers  to 
 the  questions  proposed  to  them. 
 
 ^^  Questions  upon  the  benefits  believers  receive  from  Christ  at  death. 
 
 Q.  "  I  have  shewn  you,  that  the  children  of  God  receive  a  great 
 many  good  things  from  Christ  while  they  live,  now  have  they  any 
 more  to  receive  when  they  come  to  die  ?  A,   Yes. 
 
 Q.  Are  the  children  of  God  then  made  perfectly  free  from  sin  ? 
 
 A.  Yes. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  339 
 
 Q.  Do  you  think  they  will  never  more  be  troubled  with  vain, 
 foolish,  and  wicked  thoughts?  A,  No,  never  at  all. 
 
 Q,  Will  they  not  then  be  like  the  good  angels  I  have  so  often 
 told  you  of?  A.  Yes. 
 
 Q.  And  do  you  call  this  a  great  mercy  to  be  freed  from  all  sin  ? 
 
 A,  Yes. 
 
 Q.  Do  all  God's  children  count  it  so  ? 
 
 A.  Yes,  all  of  them. 
 
 Q.  Do  you  think  this  is  what  they  would  ask  for  above  all 
 ihitigs,  if  God  should  say  to  them,  Ask  what  you  will,  and  it  shall 
 be  done  for  you  ? 
 
 A,  O  yes,  besure,  this  is  what  they  want. 
 
 Q.  You  say  the  souls  of  God's  people  at  death  are  made  per- 
 fectly free  from  sin,  where  do  they  go  then? 
 
 A,  They  go  and  live  with  Jesus  Christ. 
 
 Q,  Does  Christ  shew  them  more  respect  and  honour,  and  make 
 them  more  happy*  than  we  can  possibly  think  of  in  this  world  ? 
 
 A,  Yes. 
 
 Q,  Do  they  go  immediately  to  live  with  Christ  in  heaven,  as 
 soon  as  their  bodies  are  dead  ?  or  do  they  tarry  somewhere  else 
 a  while  ? 
 
 A.  They  go  immediately  to  Christ. 
 
 Q.  Does  Christ  take  any  care  of  the  bodies  of  his  people  when 
 they  are  dead,  and  their  souls  gone  to  heaven,  or  does  he  forget 
 them  ?  A,  He  takes  care  of  them. 
 
 "  These  questions  were  all  answered  with  surprising  readi- 
 ness, and  without  once  missing,  as  I  remember.  In  answering 
 several  of  them,  which  respected  deliverance  from  sin,  they  were 
 much  affected,  and  melted  with  the  hopes  of  that  happy  state." 
 
 **  Questions  upon  the  benefits  which  believers  receive  from  Christ  at 
 the  resurrection* 
 
 Q.  You  see  1  have  already  shewn  you  what  good  things  Christ 
 gives  his  good  people  while  they  live,  and  when  they  come  to  die  : 
 now,  will  he  raise  their  bodies,  and  the  bodies  of  others,  to  life 
 again  at  the  last  day  ? 
 
 A,  Yes,  they  shall  all  be  raised. 
 
 Q.  Shall  they  then  have  the  same  bodies  they  now  have  ? 
 
 A,  Yes. 
 
 *  The  only  way  I  have  to  express  their  "  entering  into  glory,"  or  being  glorified; 
 there  being  no  word  in  the  Indian  language  answering  to  that  general  term. 
 
340  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINEIID. 
 
 Q,  Will  their  bodies  then  be  weak,  will  they  feel  cold,  hunger, 
 thirst,  and  weariness,  as  they  now  do? 
 
 »^.  No.  none  of  these  things. 
 
 Q,  Will  their  bodies  ever  die  any  more  after  they  are  raised  to 
 life?  A.  No. 
 
 Q,  Will  their  souls  and  bodies  be  joined  together  again  ? 
 
 .4.  Yes. 
 
 Q.  Will  God's  people  be  more  happy  then,  than  they  were 
 while  their  bodies  were  asleep  ?  ^.  Yes. 
 
 Q.  Will  Christ  then  own  these  to  be  his  people  before  all  the 
 world  ?  A.  Yes. 
 
 Q.  But  God's  people  find  so  much  sin  in  themselves,  that  they 
 are  often  ashamed  of  themselves,  and  will  not  Christ  be  ashamed 
 to  own  such  for  his  friends  at  that  day? 
 
 Ji.  No,  he  never  will  be  ashamed  of  them. 
 
 Q.  Will  Christ  then  show  all  the  world,  that  he  has  put  away 
 these  people's  sins,*  and  that  he  looks  upon  them  as  if  they  had 
 never  sinned  at  all  ?  ^.  Yes. 
 
 Q,  Will  he  look  upon  them  as  if  they  had  never  sinned,  for  the 
 sake  of  any  good  things  they  have  done  themselves,  or  for  the 
 sake  of  his  righteousness  accounted  to  them  as  if  it  was  theirs  ? 
 
 A.  For  the  sake  of  his  righteousness  counted  to  them,  not  for 
 their  own  goodness. 
 
 Q.  AVill  God's  children  then  be  as  happy  as  they  can  desire  to 
 be?  A.  Yes. 
 
 Q.  The  children  of  God  while  in  this  world,  can  but  now  and 
 then  draw  near  to  him,  and  they  are  ready  to  think  they  can  nev- 
 er have  enough  of  God  and  Christ,  but  will  they  have  enough 
 there,  as  much  as  they  can  desire  ? 
 
 A,  O  yes,  enough,  enough. 
 
 Q.  Will  the  children  of  God  love  him  then  as  much  as  they 
 desire,  will  they  find  nothing  to  hinder  their  love  from  going  to 
 him  ? 
 
 Jl,  Nothing  at  all,  they  shall  love  him  as  much  as  they  desire. 
 
 Q,  Will  they  never  be  weary  of  God  and  Christ,  and  the  pleas- 
 ures of  heaven,  so  as  we  are  weary  of  our  friends  and  enjoyments 
 here,  after  we  have  been  pleased  with  them  a  while  ? 
 
 ^.  No,  never. 
 
 Q.  Could  God's  people  be  happy  if  they  knew  God  loved 
 them,  and  yet  felt  at  the  same  time  that  they  could  not  love  and 
 honour  him?  A  No,  no. 
 
 *  The  only  way  I  have  to  express  their  being  openly— acquitted.  In  like  manner, 
 when  I  speak  of  justification,  I  have  no  other  way  but  to  call  it  God's  looking  upon 
 us  as  good  creatures. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  341 
 
 Q.  Will  this  then  make  God's  people  perfectly  happy,  to  love 
 God  above  all,  to  honour  him  continually,  and  to  feel  his  love  to 
 them?  A.  Yes. 
 
 Q.  And  will  this  happiness  last  for  ever? 
 
 A,  Yes,  for  ever,  for  ever. 
 
 "  These  questions,  like  the  former,  were  aswered  without  hesi- 
 tation or  missing,  as  I  remember,  in  any  one  instance." 
 
 "  Questions  upon  the  duty  which  God  requires  of  men. 
 
 Q,  Has  God  let  us  know  any  thing  of  his  will,  or  what  he  would 
 have  us  to  do  to  please  him  ?  A,  Yes. 
 
 Q.  And  does  he  require  us  to  do  his  will,  and  to  please  him  / 
 
 Jl.  Yes. 
 
 Q.  Is  it  right  that  God  should  require  this  of  us,  has  he  any 
 business  to  command  us  as  a  father  does  his  children  ? 
 
 Jl.  Yes. 
 
 Q.  Why  is  it  right  that  God  should  command  us  to  do  what  he 
 pleases  ? 
 
 A.  Because  he  made  us,  and  gives  us  all  our  good  things. 
 
 Q.  Does  God  require  us  to  do  any  thing  that  will  hurt  us,  and 
 take  aw^ay  our  comfort  and  happiness?  A.  No. 
 
 Q,  But  God  requires  sinners  to  repent  and  be  sorry  for  their 
 sins,  and  to  have  their  hearts  broken ;  now,  does  not  this  hurt 
 them,  and  take  away  their  comfort,  to  be  made  sorry,  and  to  have 
 their  hearts  broken  P 
 
 A.  No,  it  does  them  good. 
 
 Q.  Did  God  teach  man  his  will  at  first  by  writing  it  down  in  a^ 
 book,  or  did  he  put  it  into  his  heart,  and  teach  him  without  a  book 
 what  was  right  ? 
 
 A.  He  put  it  into  his  heart,  and  made  him  know  what  he 
 should  do. 
 
 Q.  Has  God  since  that  time  writ  down  his  will  in  a  book  ? 
 
 A,  Yes. 
 
 Q.  Has  God  written  his  whole  will  in  his  book  ;  has  he  there 
 told  us  all  that  he  would  have  us  believe  and  do  ? 
 
 A.  Yes. 
 
 Q.  What  need  was  there  of  this  book,  if  God  at  first  put  his 
 will  into  the  heart  of  man,  and  made  him  feel  what  he  should  do  ? 
 
 A  There  was  need  of  it,  because  we  have  sinned,  and  made 
 our  hearts  blind. 
 
 Q.  And  has  God  writ  down  the  same  things  in  his  book,  that  he 
 at  first  put  into  the  heart  of  man  ?  A,  Yes. 
 
342  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 "  In  this  manner  I  endeavour  to  adapt  my  instructions  to  the 
 capacities  of  my  people  ;  although  they  may  perhaps  seem  strange 
 to  others  who  have  never  experienced  the  difficulty  of  the  work. 
 These,  of  which  I  have  given  an  account,  are  the  methods  I  am 
 from  time  to  time  pursuing,  in  order  to  instruct  them  in  the  prin- 
 ciples of  Christianity.  I  think  I  may  say,  it  is  my  great  concern 
 that  these  instructions  be  given  them  in  such  a  manner^  that  they 
 may  not  only  be  doctrinally  taught,  but  dull/  affected  thereby  ; 
 that  divine  truths  may  come  to  them,  "  not  in  word  only,  but  in 
 power,  and  in  the  Holy  Ghost,"  and  be  received  "  not  as  the  word 
 
 SECT.  Ill, 
 
 ^^  Difficulties  attending  the  Christianizing  of  the  Indians — First 
 Difficidty,  the  rooted  aversioyi  to  Christianity  that  generally  pre- 
 vails among  them* 
 
 "  I  shall  now  attempt  something  with  relation  to  the  last  par- 
 ticular required  by  the  Honourable  Society  in  their  letter,  viz. 
 To  give  some  account  of  the  "  ditHculties  1  have  already  met  with 
 in  my  work,  and  the  methods  I  make  use  of  for  surmounting  the 
 same." 
 
 J.  "  I  have  met  with  great  difficulty  in  my  work  among  these 
 Indians,  ^^ from  the  rooted  aversion  to  Christianity  ivhich  general- 
 ly prevails  among  them,'^''  They  are  not  only  brutishly  stupid 
 and  ignorant  of  divine  things,  but  many  of  them  are  obstinate- 
 ly set  against  Christianity,  and  seem  to  abhor  even  the  Christian 
 name. 
 
 "  This  aversion  to  Christianity  arises  partly  from  a  view  of  the 
 "  immorality  and  vicious  behaviour  of  many  who  are  called  chris- 
 tians." They  observe  that  horrid  wickedness  in  nominal  chris- 
 tians, which  the  light  of  nature  condemns  in  themselves  ;  and  not 
 having  distinguishing  views  of  things,  are  ready  to  look  upon  all 
 the  while  people  cdikc,  and  to  condemn  them  alike,  for  the  abom- 
 inable practices  o(  some, — Hence,  when  I  have  attempted  to  treat 
 with  them  about  Christianity,  they  have  frequently  objected  the 
 scandalous  practices  of  christians.  They  have  observed  to  me, 
 that  the  white  people  lie,  defraud,  steal,  and  drink  worse  than  the 
 Indians;  that  they  have  taught  the  Indians  these  things,  especial- 
 ly the  latter  of  them;  who  before  the  coming  of  the  English, 
 knew  of  no  such  thing  as  strong  drink  ;  that  the  English  have,  by 
 these  means,  made  them  quarrel  and  kill  one  another;  and,  in  a 
 word,  brought  them  to  the  practice  of  all  those  vices  which  now 
 
MEMOIRS  at'  BRAINERD.  343 
 
 prevail  among  them.  So  that  they  are  now  vastly  more  vicious, 
 as  well  as  much  more  miserable,  than  they  were  before  the  com- 
 ing of  the  white  people  into  the  country. — These,  and  such  like 
 objections,  they  frequently  make  against  Christianity,  which  are 
 not  easily  answered  lo  their  satisfaction  ;  many  of  them  be'mg  facts 
 too  notoriously  true. 
 
 "  The  only  way  I  have  to  take  in  order  to  sur-mouni  this  dijji- 
 cultT/,  is  to  distinguish  between  nominal  and  real  christians  ;  and 
 to  shew  them,   that   the  ill  conduct  of  many  of  the  former  pro- 
 ceeds not  from  their  being  christians,  but  from  their  being  chris-    \ 
 tians  only  in  name,  not  in  heart.     To  this  it  has  sometimes  been    \\ 
 objected,  that,  if  all  those  who  will  cheat  the  Indians  are  chris-    |  \ 
 tians  only  in  name,  there    are  but   few  left  in  the  country  to  be    /    ^ 
 christians  in  heart.     This,  and  many  other  of  the  remarks  they    ' 
 pass  upon  the  white  people,  and  their  miscarriages,  I  am  forced 
 to  own,  and  cannot  but  grant,  that  many  nominal  christians  arc 
 more  abominably  wicked  than  the  Indians.     But  then   I  attempt 
 to  show  them,  that  there  are  some  who  feel  the  power  of  Chris- 
 tianity, and  that  these  are  not  so.     I  ask  them,   when  they  ever 
 saw  me  guilty  of  the  vices  of  which  they  complain,  and  with 
 which   they  charge  Christians  in  general  ?      But  still  the  great 
 difficulty  is,  that  the  people  who  live  back  in  the  country  nearest 
 to  them,  and  the  traders  who  go  among  them,  are  generally  of  the 
 most  irreligious  and  vicious  sort;  and  the  conduct  of  one  or  two 
 persons,  be  it  never  so  exemplary,  is  not  sufficient  to  counterbal- 
 ance the  vicious  behaviour  of  so  many  of  the  same  denomination, 
 and  so  to  recommend  Christianity  to  Pagans. 
 
 "  Another  thing  which  serves  to  make  them  more  averse  to 
 Christianity,  is  a  '  fear  of  being  enslaved.'  They  are,  perhaps, 
 some  of  the  most  jealous  people  living,  and  extremely  averse  to 
 a  state  of  servitude;  and  hence  are  always  afraid  of  some  design 
 forming  against  them.  Besides,  they  seem  to  have  no  sentiments 
 of  generosity,  benevolence,  and  goodness.  If  any  thing  be  pro- 
 posed to  them,  as  being  for  their  good,  they  are  ready  rather  to 
 suspect,  that  there  is  afbottom  some  design  forming  against  them^ 
 than  that  surh  proposals  flow  from  good  will  to  them,  and  a  desire 
 of  their  welfare.  Hence,  when  I  have  attempted  to  recommend 
 Christianity  to  their  acceptance,  they  have  sometimes  objected, 
 that  the  white  jeople  have  come  among  them,  have  cheated  them 
 out  of  their  lands,  and  driven  them  back  to  the  mountains,  froni 
 the  pleasant  places  they  used  to  enjoy  by  the  sea-side  ;  that  there- 
 fore they  have  no  reason  to  think  the  white  people  are  now  seek- 
 ing their  welfare  ;  but  rather  that  they  have  sent  me  out  to  draw 
 them  together,  under  a  pretence  of  kindness  to  them,  that  they 
 may  have  an  opportunity  to  make  slaves  of  them,  as  they  do  of 
 
344  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINEKD. 
 
 the  poor  negroes,  or  else  to  ship  them  on  hoard  their  vessels,  and 
 make  thein  fight  with  their  enemies.  Thus  they  have  oftentimes 
 construed  all  the  kindness  1  could  shew  them,  and  the  hardships  I 
 have  endured  in  order  to  treat  with  them  about  Christianity. — 
 *  He  never  v/ould,  say  they,  take  all  this  pains  to  do  us  good  ;  he 
 must  have  some  wicked  design  to  hurt  us  some  way  or  other.' 
 To  give  them  assurance  of  the  contrary,  is  not  an  easy  matter  ; 
 while  there  are  so  many,  who,  agreeable  to  their  apprehension, 
 are  only  '  seeking  their  own,'  not  the  good  of  others. 
 
 "  To  remove  this  difficulty,  I  inform  them,  that  I  am  not  sent 
 out  among  them  by  those  persons  in  these  provinces^  who  they  sup- 
 pose, have  cheated  them  out  of  their  lands  ;  but  by  pious  people 
 at  a  great  distance,  who  never  had  an  inch  of  their  lands,  nor  ev- 
 er thought  of  doing  them  any  hurt. 
 
 "  But  here  will  arise  so  many  frivolous  and  impertinent  ques- 
 tions, that  it  would  tire  one's  patience,  and  wear  out  one's  spirits 
 to  hear  them ;  such  as,  "  But  why  did  not  these  good  people  send 
 you  to  teach  us  before,  while  we  had  our  lands  down  by  the  sea- 
 side. If  they  had  sent  you  then,  we  should  likely  have  heard 
 you,  and  turned  Christians.  The  poor  creatures  still  imagiinng, 
 that  I  should  be  much  beholden  to  them,  in  case  they  would  hear- 
 ken to  Christianity  ;  and  insinuating,  that  this  was  a  favour  they 
 could  not  now  be  so  good  as  to  shew  me,  seeing  they  had  received 
 so  many  injuries  from  the  white  people, 
 
 "  Another  spring  of  aversion  to  Christianity  in  the  Indians,  is 
 ^  their  strong  attachment  to  their  own  religious  notions,  if  they  may 
 be  called  religious,  and  the  early  prejudices  which  they  have  im- 
 bibed in  favour  of  their  own  frantic  and  ridiculous  kind  of  wor- 
 ship.' What  their  notions  of  God  are,  in  their  Pagan  state,  is 
 hard  precisely  to  determine.  I  have  taken  much  pains  to  inquire 
 of  my  christian  people,  whether  they,  before  their  acquaintance 
 with  Christianity,  imagined  that  there  was  2i  plurality  of  great  in- 
 visible powers,  or  whether  they  supposed  but  one  such  being,  and 
 worshipped  him  in  a  variety  of  forms  and  shapes  ;  but  cannot  learn 
 any  thing  of  them  so  distinct  as  to  be  fully  satisfied  upon  the  point. 
 Their  notions  in  that  state  were  so  prodigiously  dark  and  confus- 
 ed, that  they  seemed  not  to  know  what  they  thought  themselves. 
 But  so  far  as  I  can  learn,  they  had  a  notion  of  a  plurality  of  invis- 
 ible deities^  and  paid  some  kind  of  homage  to  them  promiscuous- 
 ly, under  a  great  variety  of  forms  and  shapes.  It  is  certain,  that 
 those  who  yet  remain  Pagans,  pay  some  kind  of  superstitious  rev- 
 erence to  beasts,  birds,  fishes,  and  even  reptiles  ;  that  is,  some  to 
 one  kind  of  animal,  and  somt;  to  another.  They  do  not  indeed 
 suppose  a  divine  power  essential  to,  or  inhering  in,  these  crea- 
 tures ;  but  that  some  invisible  beings — I  cannot  learn  that  it  is  aJ- 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  345 
 
 ways  one  such  being  only,  but  divers;  not  distinguished  fronn  each 
 other  by  certain  nanties,  but  only  notionally ; — communicate  to 
 those  animals  a  grcal  power  ;  either  one  or  other  of  them,  just  as 
 it  happens,  or  perhaps  sometimes  all  of  them  ;  and  so  make  these 
 creatures  the  immediate  authors  of  good  to  certain  persons. — 
 Whence  such  a  creature  becomes  sacred  to  the  persons  to  whom 
 he  is  supposed  to  be  the  iinmediate  author  of  good,  and  through 
 him  they  must  worship  the  invisible  powers,  though  to  others  he 
 is  no  more  than  another  creature.  Perhaps  another  animal  is 
 looked  upon  to  be  the  immediate  author  of  good  to  another  ;  and 
 consequently  he  must  worship  the  invisible  powers  in  that  animal. 
 I  have  known  a  Pagan  burn  fine  tobacco  for  incense,  in  order  to 
 appease  the  anger  of  that  invisible  power,  which  he  supposed 
 presided  over  rattle-snakes,  because  one  of  these  animals  was 
 killed  by  another  Indian  near  his   house. 
 
 "  After  the.  strictest  inquiry  respecting  their  notions  of  the  De- 
 ity, I  find,  that  in  ancient  times,  before  the  coming  of  the  white 
 people,  some  supposed  that  there  were  four  invisible  powers,  who 
 presided  over  the  four  corners  of  the  earth.  Others  imagined 
 the  sun  to  be  the  onli/  deity,  and  that  all  things  were  made  by  t^^^ 
 him.  Others,  at  the  same  time,  have  a  confused  notion  of  a  cer- 
 tain bodi/  or  fountain  of  deitj/.  somewhat  like  the  aninia  mundi,  so 
 frequently  mentioned  by  the  more  learned  ancient  Heathens,  dif- 
 fusing itself  to  various  animals,  and  even  to  inanimate  things,  ma- 
 king them  the  immediate  authors  of  good  to  certain  persons,  as 
 before  observed,  with  respect  to  various  supposed  deities.  But 
 after  the  coming  of  the  white  people,  tljey  seemed  to  suppose 
 there  were  three  deities,  and  three  only,  because  they  saw  peo- 
 ple of  three  different  kinds  of  complexion,  viz.  English,  Negroes, 
 and  Indians. 
 
 "  It  is  a  notion  pretty  generally  prevailing  among  them,  that  it 
 was  not  the  same  God  made  them,  who  made  us  ;  but  that  they 
 were  made  after  the  white  people  ;  which  further  shews,  that 
 they  imagine  a  plurality  of  divine  powers.  I  fancy  that  they  sup- 
 pose their  God  gained  some  special  skill  by  seeing  the  white  peo- 
 ple made,  and  so  made  thcra  better  ;  for  it  is  certain  they  look  up- 
 on themselves,  and  their  method  of  living,  which,  they  say,  their  C^ 
 God  expressly  prescribed  for  them,  vastly  preferable  to  the  white 
 people,  and  their  method.  Hence  they  will  frequently  sit  and 
 laugh  at  the  whites,  as  being  good  for  nothing  else  but  to  plow 
 and  fatigue  themselves  with  hard  labour;  while  ^As^' enjoy  the 
 satisfaction  of  stretching  themselves  on  the  ground,  and  sleeping 
 as  much  as  they  please;  ar.d  have  no  other  troulde  but  now  and 
 then  to  chase  the  deer,  which  is  often  attended  with  pleasure 
 rather  than  pain.     Hence,  bv  the  wav,  many  of  them  look  upon 
 
 44 
 
34b  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 it  to  be  as  disgraceful  for  them  to  become  christians,  as  it  would 
 be  esteemed  among  christians  for  any  to  become  Pagans.  They 
 suppose  onr  religion  will  do  well  enough  for  us,  because  prescri- 
 bed by  our  God  ;  yet  it  is  no  way  proper  for  them,  because  not  of 
 the  same  make  and  original.  This  they  have  sometimes  offered 
 as  a  reason  why  they  did  not  incline  to  hearken  to  Christianity. 
 
 "  They  seem  to  have  some  confused  notion  about  a  future  state 
 of  existence,  and  many  of  them  imagine  that  the  chichung,  ?'.  e.  the 
 shadozv,  or  what  survives  the  body,  will  at  death  go  southward, 
 and  in  an  unknown  but  curious  place,  will  enjoy  some  kind  of 
 ^  happiness,  such  as,  hunting,  feasting,  dancing,  and  the  like.  What 
 they  suppose  will  contribute  much  to  their  happiness  in  that  state 
 is,  that  they  shall  never  be  weary  of  those  entertainments.  It 
 feccms  by  this  notion  of  their  going  southward  io  obtain  happiness, 
 as  if  they  had  theircourse  into  these  parts  of  the  world  from  some 
 very  cold  climate,  and  found  the  further  they  went  southward  the 
 more  comfortable  they  were  ;  and  thence  concluded,  that  perfect 
 felicity  was  to  be  found  furtlier  towards  the  same  point. 
 
 "They  seem  to  have  some  faint  and  glimmering  notion  about 
 rewards  ixnd  punishinents,  or  at  least  happiness  and  misery  in  a  fu- 
 ture state ;  that  is,  some  with  whom  1  have  conversed  ;  though 
 others  seem  to  know  of  no  such  thing.  Those  who  suppose  this, 
 ^  seem  to  imagine  tliat  most  will  be  happy;  and  that  those  who 
 are  not  so,  will  be  punished  only  with  privation,  being  only  ex- 
 cluded the  walls  of  that  good  world,  where  happy  souls  shall 
 dwell. 
 
 "  These  rewards  and  punishments  they  suppose  to  depend  en- 
 tirely upon  their  conduct  with  relation  to  the  duties  of  the  second 
 table,  i.  e.  their  behaviour  towards  mankind  ;  and  seem,  so  far  as 
 1  can  see,  not  to  imagine  that  they  have  any  reference  to  their  re- 
 ligious  notions  or  practices,  or  any  thing  that  relates  to  the  wor- 
 ship of  God.  I  remember  I  once  consulted  a  very  ancient,  but 
 intelligent  Indian  upon  this  point,  for  my  own  satisfaction  ;  and 
 asked  him  whether  the  Indians  of  old  times  had  supposed  there 
 was  any  thing  of  the  man  that  would  survive  the  body  ?  He  re- 
 plied. Yes.  I  asked  him,  where  he  supposed  its  abode  would  be  ? 
 He  replied,  "  It  would  go  southward."  I  asked  him  further, 
 whether  it  would  be  happy  there  ?  He  answered,  after  a  consid- 
 erable pause,  "  that  the  souls  of  good  folks  would  be  happy,  and 
 the  souls  of  bad  folks  miserable."  I  then  asked  him,  whom  he 
 called  bad  folks?  His  answer,  as  I  remember,  was,  '*  Those  who 
 lie,  steal,  quarrel  with  their  neighbours,  arc  unkind  to  their 
 friends,  and  especially  to  aged  parents,  and,  '\n  a  word,  such  as  are 
 a  plague  to  mankind."     These  weic  his  bad  folks  ;  but  not  a 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  347 
 
 word  was  said  about  their  neglect  of  divine  worship,  and  their 
 badness  in  that  respect. 
 
 "They  have  indeed  some  kind  of  religious  worship,  are  fre- 
 quently ofiering  sacrifccs  to  sonse  supposed  invisible  powers,  and 
 are  very  ready  to  impute  their  calamities  in  the  present  world,  to 
 the  neglect  of  these  sacrilices  ;  but  there  is  no  appearance  of  rev- 
 erence and  devotion  in  the  homage  which  they  pay  them  ;  and 
 what  they  do  of  this  iiatare,  seems  to  be  done  only  to  appease  the 
 supposed  anger  of  their  deities,  to  engage  them  to  be  placable  to 
 themselves,  and  do  them  no  hurt,  or  at  most,  only  to  invite  these 
 powers  to  succeed  them  in  those  enterprises  they  are  engaged  in 
 respecting  the  present  life.  So  that  in  offering  these  sacrifices, 
 they  seem  to  have  no  reference  to  a  future  state,  but  only  to  pres- 
 ent comfort.  This  is  the  account  my  interpreter  always  gives  me 
 of  this  matter.  "  They  sacrifice,  says  he,  that  they  may  have 
 success  in  hunting  and  other  alFairs,  and  that  sickness  and  other 
 calamities  may  not  befal  them,  which  they  fear  in  the  present 
 world,  in  case  of  neglect ;  but  they  do  not  suppose  God  will  ever 
 punish  them  in  the  coming  world  for  neglecting  to  sacrifice.  In- 
 deed they  seem  to  imagine,  that  those  whom  they  call  had  folks^ 
 are  excluded  from  the  company  of  good  people  in  that  state,  not 
 so  much  because  God  remembers,  and  is  determined  to  punish 
 them  for  their  sins  of  any  kind,  either  immediately  against  him- 
 self or  their  neighbour,  as  because  they  would  be  a  plague  to  so- 
 ciety, and  would  render  others  unhappy  if  admitted  to  dwell  with 
 them.  So  that  they  are  excluded  rather  of  neccessity^  than  by 
 God  acting  as  a  righteous  judge, 
 
 "  They  give  much  heed  to  dreams^  because  they  suppose  these 
 invisible  powers  give  them  directions  at  such  times  about  certain 
 affairs,  and  sometimes  inform  them  what  anzma/ they  would  choose 
 to  be  worshipped  in.  They  are  likewise  much  attached  to  the 
 traditions  and  fabulous  notions  of  their  fathers  ;  who  have  inform- 
 ed them  of  divers  miracles  that  were  anciently  wrought  among  the 
 Indians,  which  they  firmly  believe,  and  thence  look  upon  their 
 ancestors  to  have  been  the  best  of  men.  They  also  mention  some 
 wonderful  things  which,  they  say,  have  happened  since  the  mem- 
 ory of  some  who  are  now  living.  One  I  remember  affirmed  to 
 me,  that  himself  had  once  been  dead  four  days,  that  most  of  his 
 friends  in  that  time  were  gathered  together  to  his  funeral,  and 
 that  he  should  have  been  buried,  but  that  some  of  his  relations  at 
 a  great  distance,  who  were  sent  for  upon  that  occasion  were  not 
 arrived,  before  whose  coming  he  came  to  life  again.  In  this 
 time,  he  says,  he  went  to  the  place  where  the  sun  rises  ;  imagin- 
 ing the  earth  to  be  a  plain ;  and  directly  over  that  place,  at  a  great 
 height  in  the  air.  he  was  admitted,  be  says,  into  a  great  house, 
 
348  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 which  he  supposes  was  several  miles  in  length,  and  saw  many 
 wonderfu!  things,  too  tedious  as  well  as  ridiculous  to  mention. — 
 Anotiier  person,  a  woman,  whom  I  have  not  seen,  but  of  whom  I 
 have  been  credibly  informed  by  the  Indians,  declares,  that  she 
 was  dead  several  days,  that  her  soul  went  southward^  and  feasted 
 and  danced  with  the  happy  spirits,  and  that  she  found  all  things 
 exactly  agreeable  to  the  Indian  notions  of  a  future  state.  To 
 these  superstitious  notions  and  traditions,  and  to  this  ridiculous 
 worship  they  are  extremely  attached  ;  and  the  prejudice  which 
 they  have  imbibed  in  favour  of  these  things,  renders  them  not  a 
 little  averse  to  the  doctrines  of  Christianity.  Some  of  them  have 
 told  me,  when  I  have  endeavoured  to  instruct  them,  "that  their 
 fathers  had  staught  them  already,  and  that  they  did  not  want  to 
 learn  now." 
 
 "  It  will  be  too  tedious  to  give  any  considerable  account  of  the 
 methods  I  make  use  of  for  surmounting  this  difficulty.  I  will  just 
 say,  I  endeavour,  as  much  as  possible,  to  shew  them  the  incon- 
 sistency of  their  own  notions,  and  so  to  confound  them  out  of  their 
 own  mouths.  I  must  also  say,  I  have  sometimes  been  almost 
 nonplussed  with  them,  and  scarcely  knew  what  to  answer  them  ; 
 but  never  have  been  m.ore  perplexed  with  them,  than  when  they 
 have  pretended  to  yield  to  me  as  knowing  more  than  they,  and 
 consequently  have  asked  me  numbers  of  impertinent,  and  yet 
 difficult  questions,  as,  '*  How  the  Indians  came  first  into  this 
 part  of  the  world,  aw^y  from  all  the  white  people,  if  what  I  said 
 was  true,"  viz.  that  the  same  God  made  them  who  made  us  ? 
 "  How  the  Indians  became  blacky  if  they  had  the  same  original 
 parents  with  the  while  people  ?"  And  numbers  more  of  the  like 
 nature. — These  things,  I  must  say,  have  been  not  a  little  difficult 
 and  discouraging,  especially  when  withal  some  of  the  Indians 
 have  appeared  angry  and  malicious  against  Christhanity. 
 
 "What  further  contributes  to  their  aversion  to  Christianity  is, 
 the  influence  which  ihaxr porvaws  (conjurers  or  diviners)  have  upon 
 them.  These  are  a  sort  of  persons  who  are  supposed  to  have  a 
 power  o( foretelling  fuliire  events^  or  recovering  the  sick^  at  least 
 oftentimes,  and  of  c/m?-mmg-,  inchanting,  or  poisoning  persons  to 
 death  by  their  magic  divinations.  Their  spirit,  in  its  various 
 operations,  seems  to  be  a  Satanical  imitation  of  the  spirit  of 
 prophecy  with  which  the  church  in  early  ages  was  favoured. 
 Some  of  these  diviners  are  endowed  with  the  spirit  in  infancy; — 
 others  in  adult  age. — It  seems  not  to  depend  upon  their  own  will, 
 nor  to  be  acquired  by  any  endeavours  of  the  person  who  is  the 
 subject  of  it,  although  it  is  supposed  to  be  given  to  children  some- 
 times in  cofisequence  of  some  means  which  the  parents  use  with 
 them  for  that  purpose  ;  one  of  which  is  to  make  the  child  swallow 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  349 
 
 a  small  living  frog,  after  having  performed  some  superstitious 
 rites  and  ceremonies  upon  it.  They  are  not  under  the  influence 
 of  this  spirit  always  aiike, — but  it  comes  upon  them  at  times. 
 Those  whoare  endowed  with  it,are  accounted  singularly  favoured. 
 ''  I  have  laboured  to  gain  some  acquaintance  with  this  affair  of 
 their  conjuration,  and  have  for  that  end  consulted  and  queried 
 with  the  man  mentioned  in  my  Diary,  May  9,  who,  since  his  con- 
 version to  Christianity,  has  endeavoured  to  give  me  the  best  in- 
 telligence he  could  of  this  matter.  But  it  seems  to  be  such  a 
 mystery  of  iniquity,  that  I  cannot  well  understand  it,  and  do  not 
 know  oftentimes  what  ideas  to  affix  to  the  terms  he  makes  use  of. 
 So  far  as  I  can  learn,  he  himself  has  not  any  clear  notions  of  the 
 thing,  now  his  spirit  of  divination  is  gone  from  him.  However, 
 the  manner  in  which  he  says  he  obtained  this  spirit  of  di- 
 viniation  was  this  ; — he  was  admitted  into  the  presence  of  a 
 great  man,  who  informed  him,  that  he  loved,  pitied,  and  desired 
 to  do  him  good.  It  was  not  in  this  world  that  he  saw  the  great 
 man,  but  in  a  world  above  at  a  vast  distance  from  this.  The 
 great  man,  he  says,  was  clothed  with  the  day  ;  yea,  with  the 
 brightest  day  he  ever  saw  ;  a  day  of  many  years,  yea,  of  ever- 
 lasting continuance  !  this  whole  world,  he  says,  was  drawn  upon 
 him,  so  that  in  him,  the  earth,  and  all  things  in  it,  might  be  seen, 
 I  asked  him,  if  rocks,  mountains,  and  seas  were  drawn  upon,  or 
 appeared  in  him?  He  replied,  that  every  thing  that  was  beauti- 
 ful and  lovely  in  the  earth  was  upon  him,  and  might  be  seen  by- 
 looking  on  him,  as  well  as  if  one  was  on  the  earth  to  take  a  view 
 of  them  there.  By  the  side  of  the  great  man,  he  says,  stood  his 
 shadow  or  spirit ;  for  he  used  {chickung,)  the  word  they  common- 
 ly use  to  express  that  part  of  the  man  which  survives  the 
 body,  which  word  properly  signifies  a  shadorv.  This  shadow, 
 he  says,  was  as  lovely  as  the  man  himself,  and  filled  all  places, 
 and  was  most  agreeable  as  well  as  wonderful  to  him. — Here  he 
 says,  he  tarried  some  time,  and  was  unspeakably  entertained  and 
 delighted  with  a  view  of  the  great  man,  of  his  shadow  or  spirit, 
 and  of  all  things  m  him.  What  is  most  of  all  astonishing,  be  im- 
 agines all  this  to  have  passed  before  he  was  born.  He  never 
 had  been,  he  says,  in  this  world  at  that  time.  What  confirms  him 
 in  the  belief  of  this,  is,  that  the  great  man  told  him,  that  he  must 
 come  down  to  earth,  be  born  of  such  a  woman,  meet  with  suck 
 and  such  things,  and  in  particular,  that  he  should  once  in  his  life 
 be  guilty  o( murder.  At  this  he  was  displeased,  and  told  the  great 
 man,  he  would  never  murder.  But  the  great  man  replied,  "  I 
 have  said  it,  and  it  shall  be  so."  Which  has  accordingly  happen- 
 pened.  At  this  time,  he  says,  the  great  man  asked  him  what  he 
 would  choose  in  life.     He  replied,  First  to  be  a  hunter,  and  af- 
 
J 
 
 350  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 terwards  lo  be  a  powaxo  or  diviner.  Whereupon  the  great  man 
 told  him,  he  should  have  what  he  desired,  and  that  his  shadom 
 should  go  along  with  him  down  to  earth,  and  be  with  him  for  ev- 
 er. There  was,  he  sa3's,  all  this  time  no  words  spoken  between 
 them.  The  conference  was  not  carried  on  by  any  Awma/i  lan- 
 guage, but  they  had  a  kind  of  mental  intelligence  of  each  others 
 thoughts,  dispositions,  and  proposals.  After  this,  he  says,  he 
 saw  the  great  man  no  more  ;  h'\  supposes  he  now  came  down  to 
 earth  to  be  born,  but  the  spirit  or  shadow  of  the  great  man  still 
 attended  him,  and  ever  after  continued  to  appearto  him  in  dreams 
 and  other  ways,  until  he  felt  the  power  of  God's  word  upon  his 
 heart  ;  since  which  it  has  entirely  left  him. 
 
 "  The  spirit,  he  says,  used  sometimes  to  direct  him  in  dreams 
 to  go  to  such  a  place  and  hunt,  assuring  him  he  should  there  meet 
 with  success,  which  accordingly  proved  so.  When  he  had  been 
 there  some  time,  the  spirit  would  order  him  to  another  place. 
 So  that  he  had  success  in  hunting,  according  to  the  great  man's 
 promise  made  to  him  at  the  time  of  his  chusing  this  employment. 
 
 "  There  were  some  times  when  this  spirit  came  upon  him  in  a 
 special  manner,  and  he  was  full  of  what  he  saw  in  the  great  man. 
 Then,  he  says,  he  was  all  light,  and  not  only  light  himself,  but 
 it  was  light  all  around  him,  so  that  he  could  see  through  men, 
 and  knew  the  thoughts  of  their  hearts.  These  depths  of  Satan  I 
 leave  to  others  to  fathom  or  to  dive  into  as  they  please,  and  do 
 not  pretend,  for  my  own  part,  to  know  what  ideas  to  affix  to 
 such  terms,  and  cannot  well  guess  what  conceptions  of  things 
 these  creatures  have  at  these  times  when  they  call  themselves  all 
 light.  But  my  interpreter  tells  me,  that  he  heard  one  of  them 
 tell  a  certain  Indian  the  secret  thoughts  of  his  heart,  which  he 
 had  never  divulged.  The  case  was  this,  the  Indian  w^as  bitten 
 with  a  snake,  and  was  in  extreme  pain  with  the  bite.  Whereup- 
 on the  diviner,  w^ho  was  applied  to  for  his  recovery,  told  him. 
 that  at  such  a  time  he  had  promised,  that  the  next  deer  he  killed, 
 he  would  sacrifice  it  to  some  great  ^-'Oioer,  but  had  broken  his 
 promise.  Now,  said  he,  that  great  power  has  ordered  this  snake 
 to  bite  you  for  your  neglect.  The  Indian  confessed  it  was  so,  but 
 said  he  Ijad  never  told  any  bod^  of  It. 
 
 ''  These  things  serve  to  fix  the  i  down  in  their  idolatry,  and  to 
 make  them  believe  that  there  is  no  safety  to  be  expected,  but  by 
 their  continuing  to  offer  such  sacrifices.  The  inliuence  which 
 ihcse  powaws  have  upon  them,  either  through  the  esteem  or  fear 
 they  have  of  them,  is  no  small  hindrance  io  their  embracing 
 Christianity. 
 
 "  To  remove  this  difficulty,  I  have  laboured  to  shew  the  In- 
 dians, that  these   diviners  have  no  power  to  recover  the  6ick, 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  351 
 
 when  the  God  whom  christians  serve,  has  determined  them  for 
 death  ;  that  the  supposed  great  power  vfho  influences  the  diviners 
 has  himself  no  power  in  this  case  ;  and  that,  if  they  seem  to  re- 
 cover any  by  their  magic  charms^  they  are  only  such  as  the  God 
 I  preached  to  them,  had  determined  should  recover,  and  who 
 would  have  recovered  without  their  conjurations.  When  I  have 
 apprehended  them  afraid  of  embracing  Christianity,  lest  they 
 should  be  inchanted  and  poisoned,  1  have  endeavoured  to  relieve 
 their  minds  of  this  fear,  by  asking  them,  Why  i\\Q\Y  powaws  did 
 not  inchant  and  poison  me,  seeing  they  had  as  much  reason  to 
 hate  me  for  preacliing  to  them,  and  desiring  them  to  become 
 christians,  as  they  could  have  to  hate  them  in  case  they  should 
 actually  become  such  ?  That  they  might  have  an  evidence  of  the 
 power  and  goodness  of  God  engaged  for  the  protection  of  chris- 
 tians, I  venlured  to  bid  a  challenge  to  all  i\-\e\Y  powaros  and  great 
 powers  to  do  their  worst  on  me  first  of  all,  and  thus  laboured  to 
 tread  down  their  influence. 
 
 ''  Many  things  further  might  be  offered  upon  this  head,  but 
 thus  much  may  suflice  for  a  representation  of  their  aversion  to, 
 and  prejudice  against  Christianity,  the  springs  of  it,  and  the  dif- 
 ficulties thence  arising. 
 
 II.  "  Another  great  difficulty  which  I  have  met  with  in  my  at- 
 tempts to  christianize  the  Indians,  has  been,  to  convey  divine 
 truths  to  their  understandings,  and  to  gain  their  assent  to  them  as 
 such.''^ 
 
 "  In  the  first  place,  I  laboured  under  a  Ycry  great  disadvan- 
 tage for  want  of  an  Interpreter,  who  had  a  good  degree  of  doc- 
 trinal as  well  as  experimental'  knowledge  of  divine  things  :  in  both 
 which  respects  my  present  hiterpreter  was  very  defective  when  I 
 first  employed  him,  as  noted  in  the  account  I  before  gave  of  him. 
 And  it  was  sometimes  extremely  discouraging  to  me,  when  I 
 could  not  make  him  understand  what  I  designed  to  communicate: 
 when  truths  of  the  last  importance  appedired  foolishness  to  him 
 for  want  of  a  spiritual  understanding  and  relish  of  them  ;  and 
 when  he  addressed  the  Indians  in  a  lifeless,  indifferent  manner, 
 without  any  heart-engagement  or  fervency;  and  especially  when 
 he  appeared  heartless  and  irresolute  about  making  attempts  for 
 the  conversion  of  the  Indians  to  Christianity,  as  he  frequently 
 did.  For  alihough  he  had  a  desire  that  they  should  conform  to 
 Christian  manners,  as  I  elsewhere  observed  ;  yet,  being  abun- 
 dantly  acquainted  with  their  stroi.g  attachment  to  their  own  su- 
 perstitious notions,  and  the  difliculty  of  bringing  them  ofT,  and 
 having  no  sense  of  divine  power  and  grace,  nor  dependence  upon 
 an  Almighty  arm  for  the  accomplishment  of  this  work,  he  used  to 
 be  discouraged,  and   tell  me,  ''  It  signiiles  nothing  for  us  to  try. 
 
352  MExMOlRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 they  will  never  turn."  Thus  he  was  a  distressing  weight  and 
 burden  to  me.  Here  I  should  have  sunk  scores  of  times,  but 
 God  in  a  remarkable  manner  supported  me  ;  sometimes  by  giv- 
 ing me  iuH  satisfaction  that  He  himself  had  called  me  to  this 
 work,  and  thence  a  secret  hope  that  some  time  or  other  1  might 
 meet  with  success  in  it ;  or  if  not,  that  "  my  judgment  should 
 notwithstanding  be  with  the  Lord,  and  my  work  with  my  God  ;" 
 sometimes  by  giving  me  a  sense  of  his  almighty  power,  and  that 
 *'  his  hand  was  not  shortened  ;"  sometimes  by  affording  me  a 
 fresh  and  lively  view  of  some  remarkable  freedom  and  assistance 
 with  which  I  had  been  repeatedly  favoured  in  prayer  for  the  in- 
 gathering of  these  Heathens  some  years  before,  even  before  I  was 
 a  missionary,  and  a  refreshing  sense  of  the  stability  and  faithfulness 
 of  the  divine  promises,  and  that  the  prayer  of  faith  should  not 
 fail.  Thus  I  was  supported  under  these  trials,  and  the  method 
 God  was  pleased  to  take  for  the  removal  of  this  difficulty,  respec- 
 ting my  Interpreter,  1  have  sufficiently  represented  elsewhere. 
 
 "■  Another  thing  which  rendered  it  very  difncult  to  convey  di- 
 vine truths  to  the  understandings  of  the  Indians,  was  the  deftct 
 of  their  lauiruage,  the  want  of  terms  to  express  and  convey  ideas 
 of  spiritual  things.  There  are  no  words  in  the  Indian  language 
 to  answer  our  English  wortis,  "  Lord,  Saviour,  salvation,  sinner, 
 justice,  condemnation,  faith,  repentance,  justitication,  adoption, 
 sanctification,  grace,  glory,  heaven,  with  scores  of  the  like  impor- 
 tance. 
 
 "  The  only  methods  I  can  make  use  of  for  surmounting  this 
 difficulty,  are,  either  to  describe  the  things  at  large  designed  by 
 these  terms,  as  if  I  was  speaking  of  regeneration,  to  call  it  the 
 ''  heart's  being  changed"  by  God's  Spirit,  or  the  "  heart's  being 
 made  good ;"  or  to  introduce  the  Etiglish  terms  into  their  lan- 
 g:uage,  and  fix  the  precise  meaning  of  them,  that  they  may  know 
 what  1  intend  whenever  I  use  them. 
 
 "  What  renders  it  much  more  difficult  to  convey  divine  truths 
 to  the  understandings  of  these  Indians,  is,  that  ''  there  seems  to 
 be  no  foundation  in  their  mijids  to  begin  upon  ;"  I  mean,  no 
 truths  which  may  be  taken  for  granted,  as  being  already  known, 
 while  I  am  attempting  to  instil  others.  As  divine  truths  have  such 
 a  qccessary  connexion  with,  and  dependence  upon  each  other,  I 
 find  it  extremely  difficult  in  my  lirst  addresses  to  Pagans,  to  begin 
 and  discourse  of  them  in  their  proper  order  and  connection, 
 without  having  reference  to  truths  not  yet  known, — without  ta- 
 king for  granted  such  things  as  need  first  to  be  taught  and  proved. 
 There  is  no  point  of  Christian  doctrine  but  what  they  are  either 
 wholly  ignorant  of,  or  extremely  confused  in  their  notions  about. 
 Therefore  it  is  necessary  that  they  should  be  instructed  in  every 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  353 
 
 truth,  even  in  those  which  are  the  most  easy  and  obvious  to  the 
 understanding,  and  which  a  person  educated  under  gospel-light 
 would  be  ready  to  pass  over  in  silence,  as  not  imagining  that  any 
 rational  creature  could  be  ignorant  of. 
 
 "  The  method  which  I  have  usually  taken  in  my  first  addresses 
 to  Pagans,  has  been  to  introduce  myself  by  saying,  that  I  was 
 come  among  them  with  a  desire  and  design  of  teaching  them  some 
 things  which  I  presumed  they  did  not  know,  and  which  I  trusted, 
 would  be  for  their  comfort  and  happiness,  if  known,  desiring  they 
 would  give  their  attention,  and  hoping  they  might  meet  with  sat- 
 isfaction in  my  discourse.  Thence  I  have  proceeded  to  observe, 
 that  there  are  two  things  belonging  to  every  man,  which  I  call  the  l^ 
 soul  and  body.  These  I  endeavour  to  distinguish  from  each  other, 
 by  observing  to  them,  that  there  is  something  in  them  that  is  ca- 
 pable of  joy  and  pleasure,  when  their  bodies  are  sick  and  much 
 pained  ;  and,  on  the  contrary,  that  they  find  something  within 
 them,  that  is  fearful,  sorrowful,  ashamed,  &tc.  and  consequently 
 very  uneasy,  when  their  bodies  are  in  perfect  health.  I  then 
 ohserved  to  them,  that  this  which  rejoices  in  them,  perhaps  at 
 the  sight  of  some  friend  who  has  been  so  long  absent,  when  their 
 bodies  are  sick  and  in  pain, — this  which  is  sorrowful,  frighted, 
 ashamed,  &c.  and  consequently  uneasy,  when  their  bodies  are 
 perfectly  at  ease, — this\  call  the  souL  And  although  it  cannot  be 
 seen  like  the  other  part  of  the  tnan,  viz.  the  body,  yet  it  is  as  real  as 
 their  thoughts,  desires,  &:c.  v/hich  are  likewise  things  that  cannot 
 be  seen. 
 
 "  I  then  further  observe,  that  this  part  of  the  man  which  thinks, 
 rejoices,  grieves,  &c.  will  live  after  the  body  is  dead.  For  (he 
 proof  of  this,  I  produce  the  opitiion  of  their  fathers,  who  as  I  am 
 told  by  very  aged  Indians  now  iivins-,  always  supposed  that  there 
 was  something  of  the  man  which  would  survive  the  body.  If  I 
 can,  for  the  proof  of  any  thing  1  assert,  say,  as  St.  Paul  to  the 
 Athenians,  "  As  certain  also  of  your  own  sages  have  said,"  it  is 
 sufficient.  Having  established  this  point,  1  next  observe,  that 
 what  I  have  to  say  to  them,  respects  the  conscious  part  of  the  man; 
 and  that  with  relation  to  its  state  after  the  death  of  the  body  ;  and 
 that  I  am  not  come  to  treat  with  them  about  the  things  that  con- 
 cern the  present  world. 
 
 "  This  method  I  am  obliged  to  take,  because  they  will  other- 
 wise entirely  mistake  the  design  of  my  preachinjr,  and  suppose 
 that  the  business  I  am  upon,  is  something  which  relates  to  the  pres- 
 ent world  ;  having  never  been  called  together  by  the  white  peo- 
 ple upon  any  other  occasion,  but  only  to  be  treated  with  about 
 the  sale  of  lands,  or  some  other  secular  business.  1  find  it  almost 
 impossible  to  prevent  their  imagining  that  I  am  engaged  in  the 
 
 45 
 
35i  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 same,  or  such  like  alTairs,  and  to  beat  it  into  them,  that  my  con- 
 cern is  to  treat  with  them  about  their  invisible  part,  and  that  with 
 relation  to  its  future  state.  y 
 
 "  But  having  thus  opened  the  way,  by  distinguishing  between 
 soul  and  body,  and  shewing  the  immortality  of  the  former,  and 
 that  my  business  is  to  treat  with  them  in  order  to  their  happiness 
 in  a  future  state  ;  1  proceed  to  discourse  of  the  Being  and  Perfec- 
 tions of  God,  particularly  of  his  "eternity,  unity,  self-sufficiency, 
 infinite  wisdom,  and  almighty  power."  It  is  necessary,  in  the  first 
 place,  to  teach  them  that  God  is  from  everlasting,  and  so  distin- 
 guished from  all  creatures  ;  though  it  is  very  difficult  to  communi- 
 cate any  thing  of  that  nature  to  them,  they  having  no  terms  in 
 their  language  to  signify  an  eternity  a  parte  ante.  It  is  likewise 
 necessary  to  discourse  of  the  divine  imiii/,  in  order  to  confute  the 
 notions  they  seem  to  have  of  a  plurality  of  gods.  The  divine 
 nll-sufficiericy  must  also  necessarily  be  mentioned,  in  order  to  pre- 
 vent their  imagining  that  God  was  unhappy  while  alone,  before 
 the  formation  of  his  creatures.  Something  respecting  the  divine 
 wisdom  and  po7oer  seems  necessary  to  be  insisted  upon,  in  order  to 
 make  way  for  discoursing  of  God's  works. 
 
 "  Having  offered  some  things  upon  the  divine  perfections  men- 
 tioned, I  proceed  to  open  the  work  of  Creation  in  general,  and  in 
 particular  God's  creation  of  man  in  a  state  of  uprightness  and 
 happiness,  placing  them  in  a  garden  of  pleasure  ;  the  means  and 
 manner  of  their  apostacy  from  that  state,  and  loss  of  that  happi- 
 ness. Before  I  can  give  a  relation  of  their  fall  from  God,  I  am 
 obliged  to  make  a  large  digression,  in  order  to  give  an  account  of 
 the  original  and  circumstances  of  their  tempter-,  his  capacity  of 
 assuming  the  shape  of  a  serpent,  from  his  being  a  spirit  without  a 
 body,  &LC.  Hence  I  go  on  to  shew,  the  ruins  of  our  fallen  state, 
 the  mental  blindness  and  vicious  dispositions  which  our  first  pa- 
 rents then  contracted  to  themselves,  and  propagated  to  all  their 
 posterity  ;  the  numerous  calamities  brought  upon  them  amd  theirs 
 by  this  apostacy  from  God  ;  and  the  exposedness  of  the  whole 
 human  race  to  eternal  perdition.  Hence  I  labour  to  shew  them, 
 the  necessity  of  an  Almighty  Saviour  to  deliver  us  from  this  de- 
 plorable state,  as  well  as  of  a  divine  Revelation  to  instruct  us  in, 
 and  direct  us  agreeable  to  the  will  of  God. 
 
 "  Thus  the  way,  by  such  an  introductory  discourse,  is  prepared 
 for  opening  the  gospel  scheme  of  salvation  through  the  great  Re- 
 deemer, and  for  treating  of  those  doctrines  which  immediately  re- 
 late to  the  soul's  renovation  by  the  divine  Spirit,  and  preparation 
 for  a  state  of  everlasting  blessedness, 
 
 "  In  giving  such  a  relation  of  things  to  Pagans,  it  is  not  a  little 
 difficult,  as  observed  before,  to  deliver  truths  in  their  properorder 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  355 
 
 without  interfering,  and  without  taking  for  granted  things  not  as 
 yet  known;  to  discourse  of  them  in  a  familiar  manner,  suited  to 
 the  capacities  of  heathen  ;  to  illustrate  them  by  easy  and  natural 
 similitudes  ;  to  obviate  or  answer  the  objections  which  they  are 
 disposed  to  make  against  the  several  particulars  of  it;  as  well  as 
 to  take  notice  of,  and  confute  their  contrary  notions. 
 
 '•  What  has  sometimes  been  very  discouraging  in  my  first  dis- 
 courses to  them,  is,  that  when  I  have  distinguished  between  the 
 present  diwA  future  state,  and  shown  them  that  it  was  my  business 
 to  treat  of  those  things  which  concern  the  life  to  come,  they  have 
 mocked,  and  looked  upon  these  things  of  no  importance  ;  have 
 scarce  had  a  curiosity  to  hear;  and  perhaps  walked  oif  before  I 
 had  half  done  my  discourse.  In  such  a  case,  no  impressions  can 
 be  made  upon  their  minds  to  gain  their  attention.  They  are  not 
 awed  by  hearing  of  the  anger  of  God  engaged  against  sinners,  or 
 of  everlasting  punishment  as  the  portion  of  gospel-necjlecters. 
 They  are  not  allured  by  hearing  of  the  blessedness  of  those  who 
 embrace  and  obey  the  gospel.  So  that  to  gain  their  attention  to 
 my  discourses,  has  often  been  as  difficult  as  to  give  them  a  just 
 notion  of  the  design  of  them,  or  to  open  truths  in  their  proper 
 order. 
 
 "  Another  difficulty,  naturally  falling  under  the  head  I  am  now 
 upon,  is,  that  "  it  is  next  to  impossible  to  bring  them  to  a  rational 
 conviction  that  they  are  sinners  by  nature,  and  that  their  hearts 
 are  corrupt  and  sinful,''  unless  one  could  charge  them  with  some 
 gross  acts  of  immorality,  such  as  the  light  of  nature  condemns. 
 If  they  can  be  charged  with  behaviour  contrary  to  the  commands 
 of  the  second  tahle^ — with  manifest  abuses  of  their  neighbour, 
 they  will  generally  own  such  actions  to  be  wrong  ;  but  then  they 
 seem  as  if  they  thought  only  the  actions  were  sinful,  and  not  their 
 hearts.  But  if  they  cannot  be  charged  with  such  scandalous  ac- 
 tions, they  seem  to  have  no  consciousness  of  sin  and  guilt  at  all, 
 as  I  had  occasion  to  observe  in  my  Diary,  March  24.  So  that  it 
 is  very  difficult  to  convince  them  rationally  of  that  which  is  read- 
 ily acknowledged,  though,  alas!  rarely  felt,  in  the  Christian  world, 
 viz.  "That  we  are  all  sinners." 
 
 '*  The  method  which  I  take  to  convince  them  that  "  we  are  sin- 
 ners by  nature,"  is,  to  lead  them  to  an  observation  of  their  little 
 children,  how  they  will  appear  in  a  rage,  fight  and  strike  their 
 mothers,  before  they  are  able  to  speak  or  walk,  while  they  are  so 
 young  that  it  is  plain  they  are  incapable  of  learning  such  practices. 
 As  the  light  of  nature  in  the  Indians  condemns  such  behaviour  in 
 children  towards  their  parents  ;  they  must  own  these  tempers  and 
 actions  to  be  wrong  and  sinful.  As  the  children  have  never  learn- 
 ed these  things,  they  must  have  been  in  their  natures ;  and  con- 
 
356  MEMOIRS  OF  BRALN'ERD. 
 
 sequently  (hey  must  be  allowed  to  be  "  by  nature  the  children  of 
 wrath."  The  same  I  observe  to  them  with  respect  to  the  sin  of 
 lying,  to  which  their  children  seem  much  inclined,  they  tell  lies 
 without  being  taught  so  to  do,  from  their  own  ?z«/wra/ inclination, 
 as  well  as  against  restraints,  and  after  corrections  for  that  vice, 
 which  proves  them  sinners  b)/  nature, 
 
 "  Further  ;  in  order  to  shew  them  that  ihi^'w  hearts  are  all  cor- 
 rupted and  sinful,  I  observe  to  them,  that  this  may  be  the  case, 
 and  they  not  be  sensible  of  it  through  the  blindness  of  their 
 minds  ;  and  that  it  is  no  evidence  that  they  are  not  sinful,  because 
 they  do  not  know  and  feel  it.  I  then  mention  all  the  vices  I 
 know  the  Indians  to  be  guilty  of,  and  so  make  use  of  these  sinful 
 streams  to  convince  (hem  that  the  fountain  is  corrupt.  This  is 
 the  end  for  which  I  mention  their  wicked  practices  to  them  ; 
 not  because  I  expect  to  bring  them  to  an  effectual  reformation 
 merely  by  inveighing  against  their  immoralities;  but  hoping  that 
 they  may  hereby  be  convinced  of  the  corruption  of  their  hearts, 
 and  awakened  to  a  se::se  of  the  depravity  and  misery  of  their 
 fallen  slate. 
 
 '"  For  the  same  purpose,  viz.  "  to  convince  them  that  they  are 
 sinners,"  1  sometimes  open  to  them,  the  great  command  of  *'  lov- 
 ing God  with  all  the  heart,  strength,  and  mind  ;"  shew  them  the 
 reasonableness  of  loving  Him  who  has  made,  preserved  and  dealt 
 bountifully  with  us  ;  and  then  labour  to  shew  them  that  they  have 
 utterly  neglected  this  duty,  and  that  they  have  been  so  far  from 
 loving  God  in  this  manner,  that,  on  the  contrary,  he  has  not  been 
 "  in  all  their  thoughts." 
 
 "  Such  are  the  means  which  1  have  made  use  of  to  remove 
 this  difhculty  ;  but  if  it  be  asked  after  all,  "  How  it  was  sur- 
 mounted ?''  I  must  answer,  God  himself  was  pleased  to  do  it  with 
 regard  to  a  number  of  these  Indians,  by  taking  his  work  into  his 
 ov/n  hand,  and  making  them  feel  at  heart,  that  they  were  both 
 sinful  and  miserable.  In  the  day  of  God's  power,  whatever  was 
 spoken  to  them  from  God's  word,  served  to  convince  them  that 
 they  were  sinners;  even  the  most  melting  invitations  of  the  gos- 
 pel; and  to  tiii  <hom  with  solicitude  to  obtain  a  deliverance  from 
 that  deplorable  state. 
 
 "  Further  ;  it  is  extremely  difficult  to  give  them  any  just  notion 
 of  the  undertaking  of  Christ  in  behalf  of  sinners;  of  his  obeying 
 and  suffering  in  their  room  and  stead,  in  order  to  atone  for  their 
 sins,  and  procure  their  salvation  ;  and  of  their  being  justiiied  by 
 his  righteousness  imputed  to  them. — They  are  in  general  wholly 
 unacquainted  with  civil  lazvs  and  proceedings,  and  know  of  no 
 such  thing  as  one  peison  being  substituted  as  a  surety  in  the  room 
 of  another,  nor  have  any  kind  of  notion  of  civil  judicatures,  of 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  357 
 
 persons  being  arraigned,  tried,  judged,  condennned,  or  acquitted. 
 Hence  it  is  very  difficult  to  treat  with  them  upon  any  thing  of  this 
 nature,  or  that  bears  any  relation  to  /eo-a/ procedures.  Although 
 they  cannot  but  have  sonne  dealings  w^ith  the  white  people,  in 
 order  to  procure  clothing  and  other  necessaries  of  life,  yet  it  is 
 scarce  ever  known  that  any  one  pays  a  penny  for  another,  but 
 each  one  stands  for  himself.  Yet  this  is  a  thing  which  may  be 
 supposed,  though  seldom  practiced  among  them,  and  they  may  be 
 made  to  understand,  that  if  a  friend  of  theirs  pay  a  debt  for  them, 
 it  is  right  that  upon  that  consideration  they  themselves  should  be 
 discharged. 
 
 "  This  is  the  only  way  I  can  take  in  order  to  give  them  a  prop- 
 er notion  of  the  undertaking  and  satisfaction  of  Christ  in  behalf 
 of  sinners.  But  here  naturally  arise  two  questions.  First, 
 "  What  need  there  was  of  Christ's  obeying  and  suffering  for  us  ; 
 why  God  would  not  look  upon  us  to  be  good  creatures,  to  use  my 
 common  phrase  for  justification,  on  account  of  our  own  good 
 deeds?"  In  answer  to  which  I  sometimes  observe,  that  a  child 
 being  never  so  orderly  and  obedient  to  its  parents  to-day,  does 
 by  no  means  satisfy  for  its  contrary  behaviour  yesterday  ;  and  that 
 if  it  be  loving  and  obedient  at  some  times  only,  and  at  other  times 
 cross  and  disobedient,  it  never  can  be  looked  upon  a  good  child 
 for  its  own  doings,  since  it  ought  to  have  behaved  in  an  obedient 
 manner  alzuays.  This  simile  strikes  their  minds  in  an  easy  and 
 forcible  manner,  and  serves,  in  a  measure,  to  illustrate  the  point. 
 For  the  light  of  nature,  as  before  hinted,  teaches  them,  that  their 
 children  ought  to  be  obedient  to  them,  and  that  at  all  times;  and 
 some  of  them  are  very  severe  with  them  for  the  contrary  behav- 
 iour. This  I  apply  in  the  plainest  manner  to  our  behaviour  to- 
 wards God  ;  and  so  shew  them,  that  it  is  impossible  for  us,  since 
 we  have  sinned  against  God,  to  be  justified  before  him  by  our  own 
 doings,  since  present  and  future  goodness,  although  perfect  and 
 constant,  could  never  satisfy  for  past  misconduct. 
 
 ''A  second  question  is,  '"  If  our  debt  was  so  great,  and  if  we  all 
 deserved  to  suffer,  how  one  person's  suffering  was  sufficient  to 
 answer  for  the  whole  ?"  Here  1  have  no  better  way  to  illustrate 
 the  infinite  value  of  Christ's  obedience  and  sufferings,  arising 
 from  the  dignity  and  excellency  of  his  person,  than  to  shew  them 
 the  superior  value  of  gold  to  that  of  baser  metals,  and  that  a  small 
 quantity  of  this  will  discharge  a  greater  debt,  than  a  vast  quantity 
 of  the  common  copper  pence.  After  all,  it  is  extremely  difficult 
 to  treat  with  them  upon  this  great  doctrine  of  "justification  by 
 imputed  righteousness."  I  scarce  know  how  to  conclude  this  head; 
 so  many  things  occuring  which  might  properly  be  added  here  ; 
 but  what  has  been  mentionedj  may  serve  for  a  specimen  of  the 
 
358  BIEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 difficulty  of  conveying  divine  truths  to  the  understandings  of  these 
 Indians,  and  of  gaining  their  assent  to  them  as  such. 
 
 III.  "Their  inconvenient  situations,  savage  manners,  and  un- 
 happy method  of  living,^^  have  been  an  unspeakable  difficulty  and 
 discouragement  to  me  in  my  work. — They  generally  live  in  the 
 wilderness,  and  some  whom  I  have  visited,  at  great  distances  from 
 the  English  settlements.  This  has  obliged  me  to  travel  much, 
 oftentimes  over  hideous  rocks,  mountains,  and  swamps,  and  fre- 
 quently to  lie  out  in  the  open  woods  ;  which  deprived  me  of  the 
 common  comforts  of  life,  and  greatly  impaired  my  heaKh. 
 
 "Whenl  have  got  amongthem  in  the  wilderness,  I  haveoftenmet 
 with  great  difficulty  in  my  attempts  to  discourse  to  them. — 1  have 
 sometimes  spent  hours  with  them  in  attempting  to  answer  their 
 objections,  and  remove  Iheir  jealousies,  before  1  could  prevail  upon 
 them  to  give  me  a  hearing  upon  Christianity.  I  have  been  often 
 obliged  to  preach  in  their  houses  in  cold  and  windy  weather, 
 when  they  liave  been  full  of  smoak  and  cinders,  as  well  as  un- 
 speakably filthy  ;  which  has  many  times  thrown  me  into  violent 
 sick  head-achs. 
 
 "  While  I  have  been  preaching,  their  children  have  frequently 
 cried  to  snch  a  degree,  that  1  could  scarcely  be  heard,  and  their 
 Pagan  mothers  would  take  no  manner  of  care  to  quiet  them.  At 
 the  same  time,  perhaps,  some  have  been  laughing  and  mocking  at 
 divine  truths  ;  othrrs  playing  with  their  dogs,  whittleing  sticks, 
 and  the  like  ;  and  this,  in  many  of  them,  not  from  spite  and  preju- 
 dice, but  for  want  of  better  manners. 
 
 "A  view  of  these  things  has  been  not  a  little  sinking  and  dis- 
 couraging to  me.  it  has  sometimes  so  far  prevailed  upon  me  as 
 to  render  me  entirely  dispirited,  and  wholly  unable  to  go  on  with 
 my  work  ;  and  given  me  such  a  melancholy  turn  of  mind,  that  I 
 have  many  times  thought  I  could  never  more  address  an  Indian 
 upon  religious  matters. 
 
 '*  The  solitary  manner  in  which  I  have  generally  been  obliged 
 to  live,  on  account  of  their  inconvenient  situation,  has  been  not  a 
 little  pressing.  I  have  spent  the  greater  part  of  my  time,  for 
 more  than  three  years  past,  entirely  alone,  as  to  any  agreeable 
 society  ;  and  a  very  considerable  part  of  it  in  houses  by  myself, 
 without  having  the  company  of  any  human  creature.  Sometimes 
 I  have  scarcely  seen  an  Englishman  for  a  month  or  six  weeks  to- 
 gether; and  have  had  my  spirits  so  depressed  with  melancholy 
 views  of  the  tempers  and  conduct  of  Pagans,  when  I  have  been 
 for  some  time  confined  with  them,  that  I  have  felt  as  if  banished 
 from  all  the  people  of  God. 
 
 '*I  have  likewise  been  wholly  alone  in  my  work,  there  being  no 
 other  missionary  among  (he  Indians  in  either  of  these  provinces. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  353 
 
 Other  ministers^  neither  knowing  i\\e. peculiar  difficulties  nor  most 
 advantageous  methods  of  performing  my  work,  have  been  able  to 
 afford  me  little  assistance  or  support  in  any  respect. — A  feeling  of 
 the  great  disadvantages  of  being  alone  in  this  work,  has  discover- 
 ed to  me  the  wisdom  and  goodness  of  the  great  Head  of  the 
 church,  in  sending  forth  his  disciples  two  and  two^  in  order  to  pro- 
 claim the  sacred  mysterfes  of  his  kingdom  ;  and  has  made  me  long 
 for  a  colleague  to  be  a  partner  of  my  cares,  hopes,  and  fears,  as 
 well  as  labours  among  the  Indians  ;  and  excited  me  to  use  some 
 means  in  order  to  procure  such  an  assistant,  although  I  have  not 
 as  yet  been  so  happy  as  to  meet  with  success  in  that  respect. 
 
 "  I  have  not  only  met  with  great  difficulty  in  travelling  to,  and 
 for  some  time  residing  among,  the  Indians  far  remote  in  the  wil- 
 derness, but  also  in  living  with  them,  in  one  place  and  another, 
 more  statedly.  I  have  been  obliged  to  remove  my  residence  from 
 place  to  place  ;  having  procured,  and  after  some  poor  fashion, 
 furnished  three  houses  for  living  among  them,  in  the  space  of 
 about  three  years  past.  One  at  Kaunaumeek^  about  twenty  miles 
 distant  from  the  city  of  Albany:  one  at  the  Forks  of  Delaware,  in 
 Pennsylvania,  and  one  Sit  Crossweeksung,  in  New-Jersey.  The 
 Indians  in  the  latter  of  these  provinces,  with  whom  I  have  lat- 
 terly spent  most  of  my  time,  being  not  long  since  removed  from 
 the  place  where  they  lived  last  winter  ;  (the  reason  of  which  I 
 mentioned  in  my  Diary,  March  24,  and  May  4 ;)  have  now  no 
 house  at  all  of  my  own,  but  am  obliged  to  lodge  with  an  English 
 family  at  a  considerable  distance  from  them,  to  the  great  disad- 
 vantage of  my  work  among  them  ;  they  being  like  children  that 
 continually  need  advice  and  direction,  as  well  as  incitement  to  their 
 worldly  business. — The  houses  in  which  I  have  formerly  lived  are 
 at  great  distances  from  each  other  ;  the  two  nearest  of  them  being 
 more  than  seventy  miles  apart,  and  neither  of  them  within  fifteen 
 miles  of  the  place  where  the  Indians  now  live. 
 
 "  The  Indians  are  a  very  poor  and  indigent  people,  and  so  des- 
 titute of  the  comforts  of  life,  at  some  seasons  of  the  year  espe- 
 cially, that  it  is  impossible  for  a  person  who  has  any  pity  on 
 them,  and  concern  for  the  christian  interest,  to  live  among  them 
 without  considerable  expence,  especially  in  time  of  sickness.  If 
 any  thing  be  bestowed  on  one,  as  in  some  cases  it  is  peculiarly- 
 necessary,  in  order  to  remove  their  Pagan  jealousies,  and  engage 
 their  friendship  to  Christianit) ,  others,  be  there  never  so  many 
 of  them,  expect  the  same  treatment.  Vv'hile  they  retain  their 
 Pagan  tempers,  they  discover  little  gratitude,  amid  all  the  kind- 
 '  nesses  which  tiiey  receive.  If  they  make  any  presents,  they  ex- 
 pect double  satisfaction.  Christianity  itself  does  not  at  once  cure 
 them  of  these  ungrateful  tempers. 
 
360  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 "  They  are  in  general  unspeakably  indolent  and  slothful.— 
 They  have  been  bred  up  in  idleness,  and  know  little  about  culti- 
 vating land,  or  indeed  about  engaging  vigorously  in  any  other  bu- 
 siness. I  am  obliged  to  instruct  them  in,  as  well  as  press  them 
 to,  the  performance  of  their  work,  and  take  the  oversight  of  all 
 their  secular  business.  They  have  little  or  no  ambition  or  reso- 
 lution. Not  one  in  a  thousand  of  them  has  the  spirit  of  a  man.  It 
 is  next  to  impossible  to  make  them  sensible  of  the  duty  and  im- 
 portance of  being  active,  diligent,  and  industrious  in  the  manage- 
 ment of  their  worldly  business;  and  to  excite  in  them  any  spirit 
 and  promptitude  of  that  nature.  When  I  have  laboured,  to  the 
 utmost  of  my  ability,  to  shew  them  of  what  importance  it  would 
 be  to  the  christian  interest  among  them,  as  well  as  to  their  world- 
 ly comfort,  for  them  to  be  laborious  and  prudent  in  their  business, 
 and  to  furnish  themselves  with  the  comforts  of  life  ;  how  this  would 
 incline  the  Pagans  to  come  among  them,  and  so  put  them  under 
 the  means  of  salvation  ; — how  it  would  encourage  religious  per- 
 sons of  the  white  people  to  help  them,  as  well  as  to  stop  the 
 mouths  of  others,  who  are  disposed  to  cavil  against  thenri,  and 
 how  they  might  by  this  means  pay  others  their  just  dues,  and  so 
 prevent  trouble  from  coming  upon  themselves,  and  reproach  up- 
 on the'\r  chrhi'mn  prof ession  ; — they  have  indeed  assented  to  all  I 
 said,  but  been  little  moved,  and  consequently  have  acted  like 
 themselves,  or  at  least  too  much  so.  Though  it  must  be  acknowl- 
 edged, that  those  who  appear  to  have  a  sense  of  divine  things, 
 are  considerably  amended  in  this  respect,  and  it  is  to  be  hoped, 
 that  time  will  make  a  yet  greater  alteration  upon  them  for  the 
 better. 
 
 "The  concern  I  have  had  for  the  settling  of  these  Indians  in 
 New-Jersey,  in  a  compact  form,  in  order  to  their  being  a  christian 
 congregation,  in  a  capacity  of  enjoying  the  means  of  grace  ;  the 
 care  of  managing  their  worldly  business  in  order  to  this  end,  and 
 to  their  having  a  comfortable  hvelihood;  have  been  more  press- 
 ing to  my  mind,  and  cost  me  more  labour  and  fatigue,  for  several 
 months  past,  than  all  my  other  work  among  them. 
 
 "  Their  "  wandering  to  and  fro  in  order  to  procure  the  neces- 
 saries of  life,"  is  another  difficulty  which  attends  my  work.  This 
 has  often  deprived  me  of  opportunities  to  discourse  to  them.  It 
 has  thrown  Ihcm  in  the  way  of  temptation  ;  either,  among  Pagans 
 further  remote  where  they  have  gone  to  hunt,  who  have  laughed 
 at  them  for  hearkening  to  Christianity  ;  or,  among  white  people, 
 more  horribly  wicked,  who  have  often  made  them  drunk  ;  then 
 got  their  commodities — such  as  skins,  baskets,  brooms,  shovels, 
 and  the  like,  with  which  they  designed  to  have  bought  corn,  and 
 other  necessaries  of  life,  for  themselves  and  families — for,  it  may 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  361 
 
 be,  nothing  but  a  little  strong  liquor;  and  then  sent  them  home 
 empty.  For  the  labour,  perhaps,  of  several  weeks,  they  have 
 thus  got  nothing  but  the  satisfaction  of  being  drunk  once  ;  and 
 have  not  only  lost  (heir  labour,  but,  which  is  infinitely  worse,  the 
 impressionsof  some  divine  subjects  that  were  made  upon  their 
 minds  before. — But  1  forbear  enlarging  upon  this  head.  The  few 
 hints  I  have  given  may  be  sufficient  to  give  thinking  persons  some 
 apprehensions  of  the  ditiiculties  attending  mj  work,  on  account 
 «f  the  inconvenient  si  Illations  and  savage  mamiers  of  the  Indians, 
 as  well  as  of  their  unhappy  method  of  living, 
 
 IV.  "  The  last  difficulty  I  shall  mention,  as  having  attended 
 my  work,  is,  "what  has  proceeded  from  the  attempts,  which  some 
 ill-minded  persons  have  designedly  made,  -to  hinder  the  propagation 
 of  the  gospel, and  a  7vork  of  divine  grace  among  the  Indians,^^ — The 
 Indians  are  not  only  of  themselves  prejudiced  against  Christiani- 
 ty, on  the  various  accounts  which  1  have  already  mentioned  ;  but, 
 as  if  this  were  not  enough,  there  are  some  in  all  parts  of  the 
 country  where  I  have  preached  to  them,  who  have  taken  pains 
 industriously  to  bind  them  down  in  Pagan  darkness  ;  *'  neglecting 
 to  enter  into  the  kingdom  of  God  themselves,  and  labouring  to 
 hinder  others." 
 
 "  After  the  beginning  of  the  religious  attention  among  the  In- 
 dians in  New- Jersey,  some  endeavoured  to  prejudice  them  a- 
 gainst  me  and  the  truths  1  taught  them,  by  the  most  base,  unman- 
 ly, and  false  suggestions  of  things  which  had  no  foundation  but  in 
 their  own  brains.  Some  particulars  of  this  kind  I  formerly  took 
 notice  of  in  one  of  the  remarks  made  upon  my  Diary,  concluded  the 
 20th  of  November  last  ;  and  might  have  added  more,  and  of 
 another  nature,  had  not  dehcacy  forbidden  me  to  mention  what 
 was  too  obscene.  But,  through  the  mercy  of  God,  they  were 
 never  able,  by  all  their  abominable  insinuations,  flouting  jeers, 
 and  downright  lies,  to  create  in  the  Indians  those  jealousies  with 
 which  they  desired  to  possess  them  ;  and  so  were  never  suffered 
 to  hinder  the  work  of  grace  among  them. — When  they  saw  that 
 they  could  not  prejudice  the  Indians  against  me,  nor  hinder  them 
 from  receiving  the  gospel,  they  then  noised  it  through  the  coun- 
 try, "  that  I  was  undoubtedly  a  Roman  catholic  ;  that  1  was  gath- 
 ering together,  and  training  up  the  Indians  in  order  to  serve  a 
 Popish  interest ;  and  that  I  should  quickly  head  them,  and  cut 
 people's  throats." 
 
 "  What  they  pretended  gave  them  reason  for  this  opinion,  was, 
 that  they  understood  I  had  a  commission  from  Scotland.  Where- 
 upon they  could  with  great  assurance  say,  "  All  Scotland  is  turn- 
 ed to  the  Pretender;  and  this  is  but  a  Popish  plot  to  make  a  party 
 for  him  here."     Some,  I  am  informed,  actually  went  to  the  civil 
 
 46 
 
36«  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 authority  with  complaints  against  me  ;  but  only  laboured  under 
 this  unhappiness,  that  when  they  came,  they  had  nothing  to  com- 
 plain of,  and  could  give  no  colour  of  reason  why  they  attempted 
 any  such  thing,  or  desired  the  civil  authority  to  take  cognizance 
 of  me,  having  not  a  word  to  allege  against  my  preaching  or  prac- 
 tice, only  they  surmised  that  because  the  Indians  appeared  so 
 \ery  loving  and  orderly,  they  had  a  design  of  imposing  upon  peo- 
 ple by  that  means,  and  so  of  getting  a  better  advantage  to  cut 
 their  throats.  With  ichat  temper  they  would  have  had  the  In- 
 dians appear,  in  order  to  have  given  no  occasion,  nor  have  left 
 any  room  for  such  a  suspicion,  I  cannot  tell.  I  presume  if  they 
 had  appeared  with  the  contrary  temper,  it  would  quickly  have 
 been  observed  of  them,  that  ''  they  were  now  grown  surly,"  and 
 in  all  probability  were  preparing  to  '*  cut  people's  throats." — 
 From  a  view  of  these  things,  I  have  had  occasion  to  admire  the 
 wisdom  and  goodness  of  God  in  providing  so  full  and  authentic  a 
 commission  for  the  undertaking  and  carrying  on  of  this  work, 
 without  which,  notwithstanding  the  charitableness  of  the  design, 
 it  had  probably  met  with  molestation. 
 
 "  The  Indians,  who  have  been  my  hearers  in  New-Jersey,  have 
 likewise  been  sued  for  debt,  and  threatened  with  imprisonment 
 more  since  I  came  among  them,  as  they  inform  me,  than  in  seven 
 years  before.  The  reason  of  this,  1  suppose,  was,  they  left  fre- 
 quentingthose  /7/>p/m^ houses  where  they  used  to  consume  most  of 
 what  they  gained  by  hunting  and  other  means.  These  persons, 
 seeing  that  the  hope  of  future  gain  was  lost,  were  resolved  to 
 make  sure  of  what  they  could.  Perhaps  some  of  them  put  the 
 Indians  to  trouble,  purely  out  of  spite  at  their  embracing  Chris- 
 tianity. 
 
 "  This  conduct  of  theirs  has  been  very  distressing  to  me  ;  for  I 
 was  sensible,  that  if  they  did  imprison  any  one  that  embraced,  or 
 hearkened  to  Christianity,  the  news  of  it  would  quickly  spread 
 among  the  Pagans,  hundreds  of  miles  distant,  who  would  immedi- 
 ately conclude  that  1  had  involved  them  in  this  difficulty,  and 
 thence  be  filled  with  prejudice  against  Christianity,  and  strength- 
 ened in  their  jealousy,  that  the  whole  of  my  design  among  them, 
 was  to  ensnare  and  enslave  them.  1  knew  that  some  of  the  In- 
 dians upon  Susquehannah  had  made  this  objection  against  hearing 
 me  preach,  viz.  That  they  understood  that  a  number  of  Indians 
 in  Maryland,  some  hundreds  of  miles  distant,  who  had  been  un- 
 commonly free  with  the  English,  were  after  a  while  put  in  jail, 
 and  sold.  Whereupon  they  concluded,  it  was  best  for  them  to 
 keep  at  a  distance,  and  have  nothing  to  do  with  Christians. — The 
 method  1  took  in  order  to  remove  this  difficulty,  was,  to  press 
 the  Indians  with  all  possible  speed  to  pay  their  debts ,  and  to  ex- 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  363 
 
 hort  those  of  them  that  had  skins  or  monei/,  and  were  themselves  in 
 good  measure  free  of  debt,  to  help  others  that  were  oppressed. 
 Frequently  upon  such  occasions  1  have  paid  money  outof  my  own 
 pocket,  which  I  have  not  as  yet  received  again. 
 
 "  These  are  some  of  the  difficulties  which  I  have  met  with  from 
 the  conduct  oi those  who,  notwithstanding  their  actions  so  much 
 tend  to  hinder  the  propagation  of  Christianity,  would,  I  suppose, 
 be  loth  to  be  reputed  Pagans, — Thus  I  have  endeavoured  to  an- 
 swer the  demands  of  the  Hon.  Society  in  relation  to  each  of  the 
 particulars  mentioned  in  their  letter, — If  what  I  have  written  may 
 be  in  any  measure  agreeable  and  satisfactory  to  them,  and  serve 
 to  excite  in  them,  or  any  of  God's  people,  a  spirit  o{ prayer  and 
 supplication  for  the  furtherance  of  a  work  of  grace  among  the  In- 
 dians here,  and  the  propagation  of  it  to  their  distant  tribes,  I  shall 
 have  abundant  reason  to  rejoice,  and  bless  God  in  this,  as  well 
 as  in  other  respects." 
 
 "DAVID  BRAINERD.'^ 
 
 ''June  20,    1746. 
 
 P.  S.  "Since  the  conclusion  of  the  preceding  Journal — which 
 was  designed  to  represent  the  operations  of  one  year  only,  from 
 the  first  time  of  my  preaching  to  the  Indians  in  New-Jersey — 1  ad- 
 ministered the  sacrament  of  the  Lord''s  Supper,  a  second  time  in 
 my  congregation,  riz.  on  the  13th  of  July.  At  this  time  there 
 were  more  than  thirty  communicants  of  the  Indians,  although  di- 
 vers were  absent  who  should  have  communicated  ;  so  considera- 
 bly has  God  enlarged  our  number  since  the  former  solemnity  of 
 this  kind,  described  somewhat  particularly  in  my  Diary.  This 
 appeared  to  be  a  season  of  divine  power  and  grace,  not  unlike 
 the  former  ;  a  season  of  refreshing  to  God's  people  in  general, 
 and  of  awakening  to  some  others;  although  the  divine  influence 
 manifestly  attending  the  several  services  of  the  solemnity,  seem- 
 ed not  so  great  and  powerful  as  at  the  former  season. 
 
 "  D.  BRAINERD." 
 
 SECTION  IV. 
 
 Attestations  of  Divine  Grace  displayed  among  the  Indians, 
 
 FIRST    ATTESTATION. 
 
 Since  my  dear  and  Rev.  brother  Brainerd,  has  at  length  con- 
 sented to  the  publication  of  his  Journal,  I  gladly  embrace  this  op- 
 portunity of  testifying,  that  our  altogether  glorious  Lord  and 
 Saviour,  Jesus  Christ,  has  given  such  a  display  of  his  Almighty 
 
364  MExMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 power  and  sovereign  grace,  not  only  in  the  external  reformation 
 but,  [in  a  judgment  of  charity,]  the  saving  conversion  of  a  con- 
 siderable number  of  Indians,  that  it  is  really  wonderful  to  all  be- 
 holders !  though  some,  alas !  notwithstanding  sufficient  grounds 
 of  conviction  to  the  contrary,  do  join  with  the  devil,  that  avowed 
 enemy  of  God  and  man,  in  endeavouring  to  prevent  this  glorious 
 work,  by  such  ways  and  means  as  are  mentioned  in  the  aforesaid 
 Journal,  to  which  I  must  refer  the  reader  for  a  faithful,  though 
 very  brief,  account  of  the  time  when,  the  place  where,  the  means 
 by  which,  and  manner  how,  this  wished-for  work  has  been  begun 
 and  carried  on,  by  the  great  Head  of  the  Church.  This  I  can  the 
 more  confidently  do,  not  only  because  1  am  intimately  acquainted 
 with  the  author,  but  on  account  of  my  own  personal  knowledge 
 of  the  matters  of  fact  recorded  in  it  respecting  the  work  itself. 
 As  I  live  not  far  from  the  Indians,  I  have  been  much  conversant 
 with  them,  both  at  their  own  place,  and  in  my  own  parish,  where 
 they  generally  convene  for  public  worship  in  Mr.  Brainerd's  ab- 
 sence ;  and  1  think  it  my  duty  to  acknowledge,  that  their  con- 
 versation, hath  often,  under  God,  refreshed  my  soul. 
 
 "  To  conclude,  it  is  my  opinion,  that  the  change  wrought  iia 
 those  savages,  namely,  from  the  darkness  of  Paganism,  to  the 
 knowledge  of  the  pure  gospel  of  Christ ;  from  sacrificing  to  dev- 
 ils, to  "  present  themselves,  body  and  soul,  a  living  sacrifice  to 
 God,"  and  that  not  only  from  the  persuasion  of  their  minister, 
 but  from  a  clear  heart-affecting  sense  of  its  being  their  reasona- 
 ble service^  this  change  I  say,  is  so  great,  that  none  could  effect  it 
 but  He  "who  worketh  all  things  after  the  good  pleasure  of  his 
 own  will."  I  would  humbly  hope,  that  this  is  only  the  first-fruits 
 of  a  much  greater  harvest  to  be  brought  in  from  among  the  In- 
 dians, by  HIM,  who  has  promised  to  give  his  Son  "  the  Heathen 
 for  his  inheritance,  and  the  uttermost  parts  of  the  earth  for  his 
 possession  :" — who  hath  also  declared,  "  That  the  whole  earth 
 shall  be  filled  with  the  knowledge  of  the  Lord,  as  the  waters 
 cover  the  sea. — Even  so,  Lord  Jesus,  come  quickly.  Amen  and 
 Amen. 
 
 *'  I  am  courteous  reader, 
 
 *'  thy  soul's  well  wisher, 
 
 "WILLIAM  TENNENT." 
 
 Freehold,  August  16,  1746. 
 
 SECOND    ATTESTATION. 
 
 "  As  it  must  needs  afford  a  sacred  pleasure  to  such  as  cordially 
 desire  the  prosperity  and  advancement  of  the  Redeemer's  kintf- 
 
•       MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  363 
 
 dom  and  interest  in  the  world,  to  hear,  that  our  merciful  and  gra- 
 cious God  is  in  very  deed  fulfilling  such  precious  pronnises  as  re- 
 late to  the  poor  Heathen,  by  sending  his  everlasting  gospel  among 
 them,  which,  with  concurrence  of  his  holy  Spirit,  is  removing  that 
 worse  than  Egyptian  darkness,  whereby  the  god  of  this  world  has 
 long  held  them  in  willing  subjection;  so  this  narrative  will  per- 
 haps be  more  acceptable  to  the  world,  when  it  is  confirmed  by  the 
 testimony  of  such  as  were  either  eye-witnesses  of  this  glorious 
 dawn  of  gospel-light  among  the  benighted  Pagans,  or  personally 
 acquainted  with  those  of  them,  in  whom,  in  a  judgment  of  char- 
 ity, a  gracious  change  has  been  wrought.  Therefore,  I  the  more 
 willingly  join  with  my  brethren,  Mr.  VVilliam  Tennent,  and  Mr. 
 Brainerd,  in  affixing  my  attestation  to  the  foregoing  narrative; 
 and  look  upon  myself  as  concerned  in  point  of  duty  both  to  God 
 and  his  people,  to  do  so,  because  I  live  contiguous  to  their  set- 
 tlement, and  have  had  frequent  opportunities  of  being  present  at 
 their  religious  meetings;  where  I  have  with  pleasing  wonder,  be- 
 held what  I  am  strongly  inclined  to  believe  were  the  effects  of 
 God's  Almighty  power  accompanying  his  own  truths;  more  es- 
 pecially, on  the  8th  day  of  August,  1745.  While  the  word  of 
 God  was  preached  by  Mr.  Brainerd,  there  appeared  an  uncom- 
 mon solemnity  among  the  Indians  in  general  ;  but,  I  am  wholly 
 unable  to  give  a  full  representation  of  the  surprizing  effects  of 
 God's  Almighty  power  which  appeared  among  them  when  public 
 service  was  over.  While  Mr.  Brainerd  urged  upon  some  of 
 them  the  absolute  necessity  of  a  speedy  closure  with  Christ,  the 
 holy  Spirit  seemed  to  be  poured  out  upon  them  in  a  plenteous 
 measure,  insomuch  as  the  Indians  present  in  the  roigzvaiii  seemed 
 to  be  brought  to  the  jailor's  case,  Acts  xvi.  30,  utterly  unable  to 
 conceal  the  distress  and  perplexity  of  their  souls.  This  prompt- 
 ed the  pious  among  them  to  bring  the  dispersed  congregation  to- 
 gether, who  soon  seemed  to  be  in  the  greatest  extremity.  Some 
 were  earnestly  begging  for  mercy,  under  a  solemn  sense  of  their 
 perishing  condition;  while  others  were  unable  to  arise  from  the 
 earth,  to  the  great  wonder  of  those  white  people  that  were  pres- 
 ent, one  of  whom  is  by  this  means,  I  trust,  savingly  brought  to 
 Christ  since.  Nay,  so  very  extraordinary  was  the  concern  which 
 appeared  among  these  poor  Indians  in  general,  that  I  am  ready 
 to  conclude,  it  might  have  been  sufficient  to  have  convinced  an 
 Atheist,  that  the  Lord  was  indeed  in  the  place.  I  am  for  my 
 part,  fully  persuaded  that  this  glorious  work  is  true  and  genuine, 
 while  with  satisfaction  1  behold  several  of  these  Indians  discov- 
 ering all  the  symptoms  of  inward  holiness  in  their  lives  and  con- 
 versation. I  had  the  satisfaction  of  joining  with  them  in  their 
 service  on  the  1 1th  of  August,  1746^  which  was  a  day  set  apart 
 
366  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERU. 
 
 for  imploring  the  divine  blessing  on  the  labours  of  their  minister 
 among  other  tribes  of  Indians  on  the  Susquehannah  ;  in  all  which 
 they  conducted  themselves  with  a  very  decent  and  becoming 
 gravity  ;  and  as  far  as  I  am  capable  of  judging,  they  may  be  pro- 
 posed as  examples  of  piety  and  godliness,  to  all* the  white  people 
 around  them,  which  indeed  is  justly '  marvellous  in  our  eyes,'  es- 
 pecially considering  what  they  lately  had  been.  Oh  may  the  glo- 
 rious God  shortly  bring  about  that  desirable  time,  when  our  exalt- 
 ed Immanuel  shall  have  'the  Heathen  given  for  his  inheritance, 
 and  the  uttermost  parts  of  the  earth  for  his  possession  !" 
 
 "CHARLES  MACNIGHT." 
 '^  Crosswicks,  August  29,  1746. 
 
 THIRD    ATTESTATION. 
 
 "  We  whose  names  are  underwritten,  being  elders  and  deacons 
 of  the  Presbyterian  Church  in  Freehold,  do  hereby  testify,  that 
 in  our  humble  opinion,  God,  even  our  Saviour,  has  brought  a  con- 
 siderable number  of  the  Indians  in  these  parts  to  a  saving  union 
 with  himself.  Of  this  we  are  persuaded  from  a  personal  ac- 
 quaintance with  them  ;  whom  we  not  only  hear  speak  of  the 
 great  doctrines  of  the  gospel  with  humility,  affection,  and  under- 
 standing, but  we  see  walk,  as  far  as  man  can  judge,  soberly,  right- 
 eously, and  godly.  We  have  joined  with  them  at  the  Lord's  sup- 
 per, and  do  from  our  hearts  esteem  them  as  our  brethren  in  Jesus. 
 For  "  these  who  were  not  God's  people,  may  now  be  called  the 
 children  of  the  living  God;  it  is  the  Lord's  doing,  and  it  is  mar- 
 vellous in  our  eyes."  Oh  that  he  may  go  on  "conquering  and 
 to  conquer,"  until  he  has  subdued  all  things  to  himself!  This  is, 
 and  shall  be  the  unfeigned  desire  and  prayer  of, 
 
 Walter  Ker,         ^  *'  William  Ker, 
 
 "  Robert  Cummins,    |  "  Samuel  Ker, 
 
 "  David  Rhe,  J    S     "  Samuel  Craig, 
 
 a- 
 
 a 
 
 "  John  Henderson,    ]   ^  jo 
 
 "John  Anderson,       I    •  |   ? 
 
 "Joseph  Ker,  J  J 
 
 Presbyterian  Church,  Freehold,  Aug,  16,  1746, 
 
CHAPTER  Xr. 
 
 From  the  close  of  his  Journal,  June   19,   1746,  to  the  termination  of  his 
 Missionary  Labours,  March  20,  1747. 
 
 The  hardships,  which  Brainerd  had  endured,  had  now  obvi- 
 ously affected  his  constitution;  and  unfitted  him  for  a  hfe  of  so 
 much  toil  and  exposure.  Of  this,  he  appears  not  to  have  been 
 aware,  until  the  case  had  become  hopeless ;  and,  unfortunately, 
 the  circumstances,  in  which  he  was  placed,  were  calculated,  in- 
 stead of  retarding,  to  hasten  the  ravages  of  disease.  He  lived 
 alone,  in  the  midst  of  a  wilderness;  in  a  miserable  hut,  built  by 
 Indians;  with  few  of  the  necessaries,  and  none  of  the  comforts  of 
 life ;  at  a  distance  from  civilized  society  ;  without  even  a  nurse  or 
 a  physician.  His  labours,  also,  were  sufficient  to  have  impaired 
 a  vigorous  constitution.  It  is  not  surprizing,  therefore,  that  his 
 health  was  gradually,  but  fatally  undermined. 
 
 On  Friday,  June  20th,  as  well  as  on  the  next  day,  he  was  very 
 ill ;  though,  with  great  effort,  he  was  enabled  to  preach  to  his 
 people  on  Saturday,  His  illness  continued  on  the  Sabbath,  but 
 he  preached,  notwithstanding,  to  his  people  both  parts  of  the  day; 
 and  after  the  public  worship  was  ended,  he  endeavoured  to  apply 
 divine  truths  to  the  consciences  of  some,  and  addressed  them 
 personally  for  that  end;  several  were  in  tears,  and  some  appeared 
 much  affected.  But  he  was  extremely  wearied  with  the  services 
 of  the  day,  and  so  ill  at  night,  that  he  could  have  no  bodily  rest ; 
 but  remarks,  that  "  God  was  his  support,  and  that  he  was  not  left 
 destitute  of  comfort  in  him."  On  Monday,  he  continued  very  ill; 
 but  speaks  of  his  mind  being  calm  and  composed,  resigned  to  the 
 divine  dispensations,  and  content  with  his  feeble  state.  By  the 
 account  which  he  gives  of  himself,  the  remaining  part  of  this 
 week,  he  continued  very  feeble,  and  for  the  most  part  dejected  in 
 mind.  He  enjoyed  no  great  freedom  nor  sweetness  in  spiritual 
 things ;  except  that  for  some  very  short  spaces  of  time  he  had 
 refreshment  and  encouragement,  which  engaged  his  heart  on  di- 
 vine things  ;  and  sometimes  his  heart  was  melted  with  spiritual 
 affection. 
 
 Lord's  day,  June  29.  "  Preached,  both  parts  of  the  day,  from 
 John  xiv.  19.  "Yet  a  little  while,  and  the  world  seeth  me  no 
 more,"  &c.     God  was  pleased  to  assist  me,  to  afford  me  both 
 
368  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 freedom  and  power,  especially  towards  the  close  of  my  discourse, 
 both  forenoon  and  afternoon.  God's  power  appeared  in  the  as- 
 sembly, in  both  exercises.  Numbers  of  God's  people  were  re- 
 freshed and  melted  with  divine  things;  one  or  two  comforted,  who 
 had  been  long  under  distress  :  convictions,  in  divers  instances, 
 powerfully  revived  ;  and  one  man  in  years  much  awakened,  who 
 had  not  long  frequented  our  meeting,  and  appeared  before  as  stu- 
 pid as  a  stock.  God  amazingly  renewed  and  lengthened  out  my 
 strength.  I  was  so  spent  at  noon,  that  I  could  scarce  walk,  and 
 all  my  joints  trembled  ;  so  that  !  could  not  ^it,  nor  so  much  as  hold 
 my  hand  still:  and  yet  God  strengthened  me  to  preach  with  pow- 
 er in  the  afternoon;  although  I  had  given  out  word  to  my  people, 
 that  I  did  not  expect  to  be  able  to  do  it.  Spent  some  time  after- 
 wards in  conversing,  particularly,  with  several  persons,  about  their 
 spiritual  state  ;  and  had  some  satisfaction  concerning  one  or  two. 
 Prayed  afterwards  with  a  sick  child,  and  gave  a  word  of  exhorta- 
 tion. Was  assisted  in  all  my  work.  Blessed  be  God.  Returned 
 home  with  more  health,  than  I  went  out  with  ;  although  my  linen 
 was  wringing  wet  upon  me,  from  a  little  after  ten  in  the  morning, 
 till  past  five  in  the  afternoon.  My  spirits  also  were  considerably 
 refreshed  ;  and  my  soul  rejoiced  in  hope,  that  I  had  through  grace 
 done  something  for  God.  In  the  evening,  walked  out,  and  enjoy- 
 ied  a  sweet  season  in  secret  prayer  and  praise.  But  Oh,  I  found 
 the  truth  of  the  Psalmist's  words,  "  My  goodness  extendeth  not  to 
 thee!"  I  could  not  make  any  returns  to  God;  I  longed  to  live 
 only  to  him,  and  to  be  in  tune  for  his  praise  and  service  for  ever. 
 Oh,  for  spirituality  and  holy  fervency,  that  I  might  spend  and  be 
 ^pent  for  God  to  my  latest  moment! 
 
 June  30.  "  Spent  the  day  in  writing;  but  under  much  weak- 
 ness and  disorder.  Felt  the  labours  ot  the  preceding  day  ;  al- 
 though my  spirits  were  so  refreshed  the  evening  before,  that  I  was 
 not  then  sensible  of  my  being  spent. 
 
 July  1.  "In  the  afternoon,  visited,  and  preached  to  my  peo- 
 ple, from  Heb.  ix.  27.  And  as  it  is  appointed  unto  men  once  to 
 die,  «^c.  on  occasion  of  some  person's  lying  at  the  point  of  death, 
 in  my  congregation.  God  gave  me  some  assistance;  and  his 
 word  made  some  impressions  on  the  audience,  in  general.  This 
 was  an  agreeable  and  comfortable  evening  to  my  soul:  my  spirits 
 were  somewhat  refreshed,  with  a  small  degree  of  freedom  and 
 help  enjoyed  in  my  work." 
 
 On  Wednesday  he  went  to  Newark,  to  a  meeting  of  the  Pres- 
 bytery; complains  of  lovvness  of  spirits;  and  greatly  laments  his 
 spending  his  time  so  unfruitfully.     The    remaining  part  of  the 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  369 
 
 week  he  spent  there,  and  at  Elizabethtovvn  ;  and  speaks  of  com- 
 fort and  divine  assistance,  from  (\\iy  to  day  ;  but  yet  greatly  com- 
 plains for  want  of  more  spirituality. 
 
 Lord's  dat/y  July  6.  *'  [At  Elizabethtown.]  Enjoyed  some 
 composure  and  serenity  of  mind,  in  the  morning:  heard  Mr.  Dick- 
 inson preach, in  the  forenoon, and  was  refreshed  with  his  discourse; 
 was  in  a  melting  frame,  some  part  of  the  time  of  sermon  :  partook 
 of  the  Lord's  supper,  and  enjoyed  some  sense  of  divine  things  in 
 that  ordinance.  In  the  afternoon,  I  preached  from  Ezek.  xxxiii. 
 11.  *'  As  I  live,  saith  the  Lord  God,"  he.  God  favoured  me 
 with  freedom  and  fervency,  and  helped  me  to  plead  his  cause, 
 beyond  my  own  power. 
 
 July  7.  '•  My  spirits  were  considerably  refreshed  and  raised, 
 in  the  morning.  There  is  no  comfort,  I  find,  in  any  enjoyment, 
 without  enjoying  God,  and  being  engaged  in  his  service.  In  the 
 evening,  had  the  most  agreeabk  conversation  which  I  remember 
 in  all  my  life,  upon  God's  being  all  in  all,  and  all  enjoyments  be- 
 ing just  that  to  us  which  God  makes  them,  and  no  more.  It  is 
 good  to  begin  and  end  with  God.  O  how  does  a  sweet  solemnity 
 lay  a  foundation  for  true  pleasure  and  happiness  ! 
 
 July  8.  "  Rode  home,  and  enjoyed  some  agreeable  medita- 
 tions by  the  way. 
 
 July  9.  "  Spent  the  day  in  writing,  enjoyed  some  comfort  and 
 refreshment  of  spirit  in  my  evening  retirement. 
 
 July  10.  "  Spent  most  of  the  day  in  writing.  Towards  night 
 rode  to  Mr.  Tennent's;  enjoyed  some  agreeable  conversation  : 
 w'ent  home,  in  the  evening,  in  a  solemn,  sweet  frame  of  mind;  was 
 refreshed  in  secret  duties,  longed  to  live  wholly  and  only  for  God, 
 and  saw  plainly,  there  was  nothing  in  the  world  worthy  of  my  af- 
 fection ;  so  that  my  heart  was  dead  to  all  below  ;  yet  not  through 
 dejection,  as  at  some  times,  but  from  views  of  a  better  inherit- 
 ance. 
 
 Julyll,  "  Was  in  a  calm,  composed  frame,  in  the  morning, 
 especially  in  the  season  of  my  secret  retirement.  I  think,  that  1 
 was  well  pleased  with  the  will  of  God,  whatever  it  was,  or  should 
 be,  in  all  respects  of  which  I  had  then  any  thought.  Intending  to 
 administer  the  Lord's  Supper  the  next  Lord's  day,  I  looked  to 
 God  for  his  presence  and  assistance  upon  that  occasion  ;  but  felt  a 
 disposition  to  say,  "  The  will  of  the  Lord  be  done,"  whether  it  be 
 to  give  me  assistance,  or  not.  Spent  some  little  time  in  writing  : 
 visited  the  Indians,  and  spent  some  time  in  serious  conversation 
 with  them  ;  thinking  it  not  best  to  preach,  many  of  them  being 
 absent. 
 
 47 
 
370  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 July  12.  '*  This  day  was  spent  in  fasting  and  prayer  by  mv 
 congregation,  as  preparatory  to  the  sacrament.  I  discoursed,  both 
 parts  of  the  day,  from  Rom.  iv.  25.  "  Who  was  delivered  for  our 
 offences,"  &;c.  God  gave  me  some  assistance  in  my  discourses, 
 and  something  of  divine  power  attended  the  word ;  so  that  this 
 was  an  agreeable  season.  Afterwards  led  them  to  a  solemn  re- 
 newal of  their  covenant,  and  fresh  dedication  of  themselves  to 
 God.  This  was  a  season  both  of  solemnity  and  sweetness,  and 
 God  seemed  to  be  "  in  the  midst  of  us."  Returned  to  my  lodg- 
 ings, in  the  evening,  in  a  comfortable  frame  of  mind. 
 
 Lordh  day,  July  13.  "In  the  forenoon,  discoursed  on  the 
 bread  of  life,  from  John  vi.  35.  God  gave  me  some  assistance, 
 in  part  of  my  discourse  especially;  and  there  appeared  some  ten- 
 der affection  in  the  assembly  under  divine  truths;  my  soul  also 
 was  somewhat  refreshed.  Administered  the  sacrament  of  the 
 Lord's  supper  to  thirty-one  persons  of  the  Indians.  God  seemed 
 to  be  present  in  this  ordinance ;  the  communicants  were  sweetly 
 melted  and  refreshed,  most  of  them.  O  how  they  melted,  even 
 when  the  elements  were  first  uncovered  !  There  was  scarcely  a 
 dry  eye  among  them,  when  I  took  off  the  linen,  and  shewed  them 
 the  symbols  of  Christ's  broken  body. — Having  rested  a  little,  after 
 the  administration  of  the  sacrament,  I  visited  the  communicants, 
 and  found  them  generally  in  a  sweet  loving  frame  ;  not  unlike  what 
 appeared  among  them  on  the  former  sacramental  occasion,  on 
 April  27.  In  the  afternoon,  discoursed  upon  coming  to  Christy 
 and  the  satisfaction  of  those  who  do  so,  from  the  same  verse  I  in- 
 sisted on  in  the  forenoon.  This  was  likewise  an  agreeable  sea- 
 son, a  season  of  much  tenderness,  affection,  and  enlargement  in  di- 
 vine service:  and  God,  I  am  persuaded,  crowned  our  assembly 
 with  his  divine  presence.  I  returned  home  much  spent,  yet  re- 
 joicing in  the  goodness  of  God. 
 
 July  14.  "Went  to  my  people,  and  discoursed  to  them  from 
 Psal.  cxix  106.  "  I  have  sworn,  and  I  will  perform  it."  &c.  Ob- 
 served, 1.  That  all  God.'^s  judgments  ov  commandments  are  right- 
 eous, 2.  That  God's  people  have  sworn  to  keep  them ;  and  this 
 they  do  especially  at  the  Lord's  table.  There  appeared  to  be  a 
 powerful  divine  influence  on  the  assembly,  and  considerable  melt- 
 ing under  the  word.  Afterwards,  I  lead  them  to  a  renewal  of 
 their  covenant  before  God,  that  they  would  watch  over  them- 
 selves and  one  another,  lest  they  should  fall  into  sin  and  dishonoi 
 the  name  of  Christ,  just  as  1  did  on  Monday,  April  28.  This 
 transaction  was  attended  with  great  solemnity  :  and  God  seemed 
 to  own  it  by  exciting  in  them  a  fear  and  jealousy  of  themselves, 
 lest  they  should  8in    against  God  ;  so  that  the  presence   of  God 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  371 
 
 seemed  to  be  amongst  us  in  this  conclusion  of  the  sacramental 
 solemnity." 
 
 The  next  day,  he  set  out  on  a  journey  towards  Philadelphia  ;  - 
 from  whence  he  did  not  return  till  Saturday.     He  went  this  jour- 
 ney, and  spent  the  week,  under  a  great  degree  of  illness  of  body, 
 and  dejection  of  mind. 
 
 Lord?s  day,  July  20.  "  Preached  twice  to  my  people  from 
 John  xvii.  24.  "  Father,  I  will  that  they  also  whom  thou  hast 
 given  me,  be  with  me,  where  I  am,  that  they  may  behold  my  glo- 
 ry, which  thou  hast  given  me."  Was  helped  to  discourse  with 
 great  clearness  and  plainness  in  the  forenoon.  In  the  afternoon, 
 enjoyed  some  tenderness,  and  spake  with  some  influence.  Num- 
 bers were  in  tears  ;  and  some,  to  appearance,  in  distress. 
 
 July '2],  "Preached  to  the  Indians,  chiefly  for  the  sake  of 
 some  strangers;  proposed  my  design  of  taking  a  journey  speedily 
 to  the  Susquehannah;  exhorted  my  people  to  pray  for  me,  that 
 God  would  be  with  me  in  that  journey  ;  and  then  chose  divers 
 persons  of  the  congregation  to  travel  with  me.  Afterwards,  spent 
 some  time  in  discoursing  to  the  strangers,  and  was  somewhat  en- 
 couraged with  them.  Took  care  of  my  people's  secular  busi- 
 ness, and  was  not  a  little  exercised  with  it.  Had  some  degree  of 
 composure  and  comfort  in  secret  retirement. 
 
 July  22.  "  Was  in  a  dejected  frame,  most  of  the  day  ;  wanted 
 to  wear  out  life,  and  have  it  at  an  end  ;  but  had  some  desires  of 
 living  to  God,  and  wearing  out  life  for  him.  Oh  that  I  cotdd  in- 
 deed do  so ."' 
 
 The  next  day  he  went  to  Elizabeth-Town,  to  a  meeting  of  the 
 Presbytery;  and  spent  this,  and  Thursday,  and  the  former  part  of 
 Friday,  under  a  very  great  degree  of  melancholy,  and  gloominess 
 of  mind  ;  not  through  any  fear  of  future  punishment,  but  as  being 
 distressed  with  a  senselessness  of  all  good,  so  that  the  whole  world 
 appeared  empty  and  gloomy  to  him.  In  the  latter  part  of  Friday 
 he  was  greatly  relieved  and  comforted. 
 
 July  ^6.  Was  comfortable  in  the  morning;  my  countenance 
 and  heart  were  not  sad,  as  in  days  past ;  enjoyed  some  sweetness 
 in  lifting  up  my  heart  to  God.  Rode  home  to  my  people,  and 
 was  in  a  comfortable,  pleasant  frame  by  the  way  ;  my  spirits 
 were  much  relieved  of  their  burden,  and  1  felt  free  to  go  through 
 all  difliculties  and  labours  in  my  Master's  service. 
 
 LordU  day,  July  Tl.  "  Discoursed  to  my  people  in  the  fore- 
 noon,  from   Luke  xii.  37,  on  the  duty  and  benefit  of  watching. 
 
372  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINEKD. 
 
 God  helped  me  in  the  latter  part  of  my  discourse,  and  Die  power 
 of  God  appeared  in  the  assembly.  In  the  afternoon,  discoursed 
 from  Luke  xiii.  25.  IVhen  once  the  master  of  the  house  is  risen 
 up^&LC.  Here  also  I  enjoyed  some  assistance;  and  the  Spirit  of 
 God  seemed  to  attend  what  was  spoken,  so  that  there  was  a  great 
 solemnity,  and  some  tears  among  Indians  and  others. 
 
 July  28.  "  Was  very  weak,  and  scarce  able  to  perform  any 
 business  at  all  ;  but  enjoyed  sweetness  and  comfort  in  prayer, 
 both  morning  and  evening;  and  was  composed  and  comfortable 
 through  the  day.  My  mind  w^as  intense,  and  my  heart  fervent, 
 at  least  in  some  degree,  in  secret  duties  ;  and  1  longed  to  spend 
 and  be  spent  for  God, 
 
 July  29.  "  My  mind  was  cheerful,  and  free  from  the  mel- 
 ancholy, with  which  I  am  often  exercised  ;  had  freedom  in  look- 
 ing up  to  God.  at  various  times  in  the  day.  In  the  evening,  I 
 enjoyed  a  comfortable  season  in  secret  prayer  ;  was  helped  to 
 plead  with  God  for  my  own  dear  people,  that  he  would  carry  on 
 his  own  blessed  work  among  them  ;  was  assisted  also  in  praying 
 for  the  divine  presence  to  attend  me  in  my  intended  journey  to 
 the  Susquehannah  ;  and  was  helped  to  remember  dear  brethren 
 and  friends  in  New -England.  I  scarce  knew  how  to  leave  the 
 throne  of  grace,  and  it  grieved  me  that  I  was  obliged  to  go  to 
 bed  ;  I  longed  to  do  something  for  God,  but  knew  not  how. 
 Blessed  be  God  for  this  freedom  from  dejection. 
 
 July  30.  "Was  uncommonly  comfortable,  both  in  body  and 
 mind  ;  in  the  forenoon  especially,  my  mind  was  solemn ;  I  was 
 assisted  in  my  work  ;  and  God  seemed  to  be  near  to  me ;  so  that 
 the  day  was  as  comfortable  as  most  I  have  enjoyed  for  some  time. 
 In  the  evening,  was  favoured  with  assistance  in  secret  prayer,  and 
 felt  much  as  I  did  the  evening  before.  Blessed  be  God  for  that 
 freedom  I  then  enjoyed  at  the  throne  of  grace,  for  myself,  my 
 people,  and  my  dear  friends.  It  is  good  for  me  to  draw  near  to 
 God:' 
 
 He  seems  to  have  continued  very  much  in  the  same  free,  com- 
 fortable state  of  mind  the  next  day. 
 
 Aug-  1.  "In  the  evening,  enjoyed  a  sweet  season  in  secret 
 prayer  ;  clouds  of  darkness  and  perplexing  care  were  sweetly  scat- 
 tered, and  nothing  anxious  remained.  O  how  serene  was  my 
 mind  at  this  season  !  how  free  from  that  distracting  concern  I 
 have  often  felt  I  "  Thy  will  be  done,"  was  a  petition  sweet  to 
 my  sovil ;  and  if  God  had  bidden  me  choose  for  myself  in  any 
 affair,  I  should  have  chosen  rather  to  have  referred  the  choice  to 
 him  ;  for  I  saw  he  was  infinitely  wise,  and  could  not  do  any  thing 
 
'  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  373 
 
 amiss,  as  I  was  in  danger  of  doing.  V\^as  assisted  in  prayer  for 
 my  dear  flock,  that  God  would  promote  his  own  work  among 
 them,  and  that  God  would  go  with  me  in  my  intended  journey  to 
 the  Susquehannah  ;  was  helped  to  remember  my  dear  friends  in 
 New  England,  and  my  dear  brethren  in  the  ministry.  I  found 
 enough  in  the  sweet  duty  of  prayer  to  have  engaged  me  to  con- 
 tinue in  it  the  whole  night,  would  my  bodily  state  have  admitted 
 of  it.  O  how  sweet  it  is,  to  be  enabled  heartily  to  say,  Lord^  not 
 7ny  ivill,  but  thine  be  done, 
 
 Aug.  2.  "  Near  night,  preached  from  Matt.  xi.  29.  Take  my 
 yoke  upon  you,  &fc.  Was  considerably  helped  ;  and  the  presence 
 of  God  seemed  to  be  somewhat  remarkably  in  the  assembly  ;  di- 
 vine truths  made  powerful  impressions,  both  upon  saints  and  sin- 
 ners. Blessed  be  God  for  such  a  revival  among  us.  In  the  eve- 
 ning was  very  weary,  but  found  my  spirits  supported  and  re- 
 freshed. 
 
 Lord^s  day,  Aug.  3.  "  Discoursed  to  my  people,  in  the  fore- 
 noon, from  CoL  iii.  4,  and  observed,  that  Christ  is  the  believer's 
 Life.  God  helped  me,  and  gave  me  his  presence  in  this  dis- 
 course ;  and  it  was  a  season  of  considerable  power  to  the  assem- 
 bly. In  the  afternoon,  preached  from  Luke  xix.  41,  42.  And 
 when  he  was  come  near,  he  beheld  the  city,  ^c.  I  enjoyed  some 
 assistance  ;  though  not  so  much  as  in  the  forenoon.  In  the  eve- 
 ning I  enjoyed  freedom  and  sweetness  in  secret  prayer  ;  God  en- 
 larged my  heart,  freed  me  from  melancholy  damps,  and  ^ave  me 
 satisfaction  in  drawing  near  to  himself.  Oh  that  my  soul  could 
 magnify  the  Lord,  for  these  seasons  of  composure  and  resignation 
 to  his  will. 
 
 Aug.  4.  "  Spent  the  day  in  waiting  ;  enjoyed  much  freedom 
 and  assistance  in  my  work  ;  was  in  a  composed  and  comfortable 
 frame,  most  of  the  day  ;  and  in  the  evening  enjoyed  some  sweet- 
 ness in  prayer.  Blessed  be  God,  my  spirits  were  yet  up,  and  I 
 was  free  from  sinking  damps ;  as  I  have  been  in  general  ever 
 since  I  came  from  Elizabeth-Town  last.      O  whcU  a  mercy  is  this  ! 
 
 Aug.  5.  "Towards  night,  preached  at  the  funeralof  one  of  my 
 christians,  from  Is.  Ivii.  2.  He  shall  enter  into  peace,  ^-c,  I  was 
 oppressed  with  the  nervous  head-ach,  and  considerably  dejected  ; 
 however,  had  a  little  freedom,  some  part  of  the  time  I  was  dis- 
 coursing. Was  extremely  weary  in  the  evening;  but  notwith- 
 standing, enjoyed  some  liberty  and  cheerfulness  of  mind  in  prayer; 
 and  found  the  dejection  that  I  feared,  much  removed,  and  my 
 spirits  considerably  refreshed." 
 
 He  continued  in  a  very  comfortable,  cheerful  frame  of  mind  the 
 next  day,  with  his  heart  enlarged  in  the  service  of  God. 
 
374  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 Aug.  7.  "  Rode  to  my  house,  where  I  spent  the  last  winter, 
 in  order  to  bring  some  things  I  needed  for  my  Susquehannah 
 journey  ;  was  refreshed  to  see  that  place,  which  God  so  marvel- 
 lously visited  with  the  showers  of  his  grace.  O  how  amazing  did 
 the  power  of  God  often  appear  there  !  Bless  the  Lord,  O  my  soul, 
 and  forget  not  all  his  benefits.''^ 
 
 The  next  day,  he  speaks  of  Hberty,  enlargement,  and  sweetness 
 of  mind,  in  prayer  and  religious  conversation. 
 
 Aug.  9.  "  In  the  afternoon,  visited  my  people ;  set  their  af- 
 fairs in  order,  as  much  as  possible,  and  contrived  for  them  the 
 management  of  their  worldly  business  ;  discoursed  to  them  in  a 
 solemn  manner,  and  concluded  with  prayer.  Was  composed  and 
 comfortable  in  the  evening,  and  somewhat  fervent  in  secret  prayer; 
 had  some  sense  and  view  of  the  eternal  world  ;  and  found  a  se- 
 renity of  mind.  O  that  I  could  magnify  the  Lord  for  any  free- 
 dom which  he  affords  me  in  prayer ! 
 
 Lord^s  day,  Aug.  10.  "  Discoursed  to  my  people,  both  parts  of 
 the  day,  from  Acts  iii.  19.  Repent  ye  therefore,  ^c.  In  discours- 
 ing of  repentance,  in  the  forenoon,  God  helped  me,  so  that  my  dis- 
 course was  searching ;  some  were  in  tears,  boih  of  the  Indians 
 and  white  people,  and  the  word  of  God  was  attended  with  some 
 power.  In  the  intermission,  I  was  engaged  in  discoursing  to 
 some  in  order  to  their  baptism  ;  as  well  as  with  one  who  had  then 
 lately  met  with  some  comfort,  after  spiritual  trouble  and  distress. 
 In  the  afternoon,  was  somewhat  assisted  again,  though  weak  and 
 weary.  Afterwards  baptized  six  persons  ;  three  adults  and  three 
 children.  Was  in  a  comfortable  frame  in  the  evening,  and  enjoy- 
 ed some  satisfaction  in  secret  prayer.  I  scarce  ever  in  my  life 
 felt  myself  so  full  of  tenderness,  as  this  day. 
 
 Aug,  11.  "  Being  about  to  set  out  on  a  journey  to  the  Sus- 
 quehannah the  next  day,  with  leave  of  Providence,  I  spent  some 
 time  this  day  in  prayer  with  my  people,  that  God  would  bless  and 
 succeed  my  intended  journey,  that  he  would  send  forth  his  blessed 
 Spirit  with  his  word,  and  set  up  his  kingdom  among  the  poor  In- 
 dians in  the  wilderness.  While  I  was  opening  and  applying  part 
 of  the  cxth  and  iid  Psalms,  the  power  of  God  seemed  to  descend 
 on  the  assembly  in  some  measure ;  and  while  I  was  making  the 
 first  prayer,  numbers  were  melted,  and  found  some  affectionate 
 enlargement  of  soul  myself.  Preached  from  Acts  iv.  31.  And 
 when  they  had  prayed,  the  place  was  shaken,  ^c,  God  helped  me, 
 and  my  intepreter  also  ;  there  was  a  shaking  and  melting  among 
 us  ;  and  divers,  I  doubt  not,  were  in  some  measure  ^'Jfilled  with 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  375 
 
 the  Holy  Ghost."  Afterwards,  Mr.  M acnight  prayed  ;  and  I  then 
 opened  (he  two  last  stanzas  of  the  Ixxiid  Psalm  ;  at  which  time 
 God  was  present  with  us  ;  especially  while  I  insisted  upon  the 
 promise  oi  all  nations  blessing  the  great  Redeemer,  My  soul  was 
 refreshed,  to  think,  that  this  day,  this  blessed  glorious  season, 
 should  surely  come  ;  and  1  trust,  numbers  of  my  dear  people  were 
 also  refreshed.  Afterwards  prayed  ;  had  some  freedom,  but  was 
 almost  spent  ;  then  walked  out,  and  left  my  people  to  carry  on 
 religious  exercises  among  themselves.  They  prayed  repeatedly, 
 and  sung,  while  I  rested  and  refreshed  myself.  Afterwards,  went 
 to  the  meeting,  prayed  with,  and  dismissed  the  assembly.  Blessed 
 be  God,  this  has  been  a  day  of  grace.  There  were  many  tears 
 and  affectionate  sobs  among  us  this  day.  In  the  evening,  my  soul 
 was  refreshed  in  prayer  ;  enjoyed  liberty  at  the  throne  of  grace, 
 in  praying  for  my  people  and  friends,  and  the  Church  of  God  in 
 general.     Bless  the  Lord,  O  my  50?</." 
 
 The  next  day  he  set  out  on  his  journey  towards  the  Susque- 
 hannah,  and  six  of  his  Christian  Indians  with  him,  whom  he  had 
 chosen  out  of  his  congregation,  as  those  he  judged  most  fit  to  as- 
 sist him  in  the  business  he  w^as  going  upon.  He  took  his  way 
 through  Philadelphia;  intending  to  go  to  the  Susquehannah  river, 
 far  down,  where  it  is  settled  b}  the  white  people,  below  the  coun- 
 try inhabited  by  the  Indians ;  and  so  to  travel  up  the  river  to  the 
 Indian  habitations.  For  although  this  was  much  farther  about, 
 yet  hereby  he  avoided  the  huge  mountains,  and  hideous  wilder- 
 ness, that  must  be  crossed  in  the  nearer  way  ;  which  in  time  past 
 he  found  to  be  extremely  difficult  and  fatiguing.  He  rode  this 
 week  as  far  as  Charlestown,  about  thirty  miles  westward  of  Phil- 
 adelphia ;  where  he  arrived  on  Friday  :  and  in  his  w^ay  hith- 
 er, was  for  the  most  part,  in  a  composed,  comfortable  state  of 
 mind. 
 
 .^w^.  16.  "  [At  Charlestown.]  It  being  a  day  kept  by  the 
 people  of  the  place  where  I  now  was,  as  preparatory  to  the  cele- 
 bration of  the  Lord's  supper,  I  tarried  ;  heard  Mr.  Treat  preach  ; 
 and  then  preached  myself.  God  gave  me  some  good  degree  of 
 freedom,  and  helped  me  to  discourse  with  warmth  and  application, 
 to  the  conscience.  Afterwards,  I  was  refreshed  in  spirit,  though 
 much  tried  ;  and  spent  the  evening  agreeably,  having  some  free- 
 dom in  prayer,  as  well  as  christian  conversation. 
 
 Lord's  day,  Aug.  17.  "  Enjoyed  liberty,  composure,  nnd  sat- 
 islaction,  in  the  secret  duties  of  the  morning  ;  had  my  heart  some- 
 what enlarged  in  prayer  for  dear  friends,  as  well  as  for  myself.     \n 
 
376  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 the  forenoon  attended  Mr.  Treat's  preaching,  partook  of  the 
 Lord's  supper,  five  of  mj  people  also  communicating  in  this  holy 
 ordinance;  I  enjoyed  some  enlari^ement  and  outgoing  of  soul  in 
 this  season.  In  the  afternoon  preached  from  Ezk.xxxiii.il. 
 Say  unio  them,  as  I  live,  saith  the  Lord  God,  &lc.  Enjoyed  not 
 so  much  sensible  assistance  as  the  day  before ;  however,  was 
 helped  to  some  fervency  in  addressing  immortal  souls.  Was 
 somewhat  confounded  in  the  evening,  because  I  thought  I  had 
 done  littie  or  nothing  for  God;  yet  enjoyed  some  refreshment  of 
 spirit  in  Christian  conversation  and  prayer.  Spent  the  evening, 
 till  near  midnight,  in  religious  exercises  ;  and  found  my  bodily 
 strength  which  was  much  spent  Avhen  I  came  from  the  public 
 worship,  something  renewed  before  1  went  to  bed. 
 
 Jlug.  18.  '*  Rode  on  my  way  towards  Paxton,  upon  Susque- 
 hannah  river.  Felt  my  spirits  sink  towards  night,  so  that  I  had 
 little  comfort. 
 
 Aug.  19.  "Rode  forward  still;  and  at  night  lodged  by  the 
 side  of  the  Susquehannah.  Was  weak  and  disordered  both  this 
 and  the  preceding  day,  and  found  my  spirits  considerably  damp- 
 ed, meeting  with  none  that  I  thought  godly  people. 
 
 Aug.  ^0.  "Having  lain  in  a  cold  sweat  all  night,  I  coughed 
 much  bloody  matter  this  morning,  and  was  under  great  disorder 
 of  body,  and  not  a  littie  melancholy;  but  what  gave  me  some  en- 
 couragement, was,  I  had  a  secret  hope  that  1  might  speedily  get 
 a  dismission  from  earth,  and  iii!  its  toils  and  sorrows.  Rode  this 
 day  to  one  Chamber's,  upon  the  Susquehannah,  and  there  lodged. 
 Was  much  afflicied  in  the  evening,  with  an  ungodly  crew,  drink- 
 ing, swearing,  &c.  O  what  a  htll  w^ould  it  be,  to  be  numbered 
 with  the  ungodly  !  Enjoyed  some  agreeable  conversation  with  a 
 traveller  who  seemed  to  have  some  relish  of  true  religion. 
 
 Aug.  2].  "  Rode  up  the  river  about  fifteen  miles  and  there 
 lodged,  in  a  family  which  appeared  quite  destitute  of  God.  La- 
 boured to  discourse  with  the  man  about  the  life  of  religion,  but 
 found  him  very  artful  in  evading  such  conversation,  O  what  a 
 death  it  is  to  some,  to  hear  of  the  things  of  God!  Was  out  of  my 
 demerit ;  but  was  not  so  dejected  as  at  some  times. 
 
 Aug.  '22.  "Continued  my  course  up  the  river;  my  people 
 now  being  with  me,  who  before  were  parted  from  me;  travelled 
 above  all  the  English  settlements;  at  night  lodged  in  the  open 
 woods ;  and  slept  with  more  comfort  than  while  among  an  un- 
 godly company  of  white  people.  Enjoyed  some  liberty  in  se- 
 cret prayer,  this  evening;  and  was  helped  to  remember  dear 
 friends,  as  well  as  my  dear  flock,  and  the  church  of  God  in  gene- 
 ral. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  377 
 
 Aug.  '2S,  "  Arrived  at  the  Indian  town,  called  Shaumoking^ 
 near  night,  was  not  so  dejected  as  formerly  ;  but  yet  somewhat 
 exercised.  Felt  somewhat  composed  in  the  evening;  enjoyed 
 some  freedom  in  leaving  my  all  with  God.  Through  the  great 
 goodness  of  God,  I  enjoyed  some  liberty  of  mind  ;  and  was  not 
 disires.sed  with  a  despondency,  as  frequently  heretofore. 
 
 Lord^s  day,  Aug.  24.  "  Towards  noon,  visited  some  of  the 
 Delawares,  and  discoursed  with  them  about  Christianity.  In  the 
 afternoon  discoursed  to  ihe  ^m^,  and  others,  upon  divine  things; 
 who  seemed  disposed  to  hear.  Spent  most  of  the  day  in  these 
 exercises.  In  the  evening  enjoyed  some  comfort  and  satisfac- 
 tion; and  especially  had  some  sweetness  in  secret  prayer.  This 
 duty  was  made  so  agreeable  to  me,  that  I  loved  to  walk  abroad, 
 and  repeatedly  engage  in  it.  Oh,  koiu  comfortable  is  a  little 
 glimpse  of  God  ! 
 
 Aug  25.  "  Spent  most  of  the  day  in  writing.  Sent  out  my 
 people  that  were  with  me,  to  talk  with  the  Indians,  and  contract 
 a  friendship  and  familiarity  with  them,  that  1  might  have  a  better 
 opportunity  of  treating  with  them  about  Christianity.  Some  good 
 seemed  to  be  done  by  their  visit  this  day,  divers  appeared  v/illing 
 to  hearken  to  Christianity.  My  spirits  were  a  little  refreshed, 
 this  evening;  and  I  found  some  liberty  and  satisfiction  in  prayer. 
 
 Aug  26.  "About  noon,  discoursed  to  a  considerable  number 
 of  Indians.  God  helped  me,  I  am  persuaded  ;  for  I  was  enabled 
 to  speak  with  much  plainness,  and  some  warmth  and  power;  and 
 the  discourse  had  impression  upon  some,  and  made  them  appear 
 very  serious.  I  thought  things  now  appeared  as  encouraging,  as 
 they  did  at  Crossweeks.  At  the  time  of  my  first  visit  to  those 
 Indians,  I  was  a  little  encouraged  ;  I  pressed  things  with  all  my 
 might;  and  called  out  my  people,  who  were  then  present,  to  give 
 in  their  testimony  for  God  ;  which  they  did.  Towards  night,  was 
 refreshed  ;  had  a  heart  to  pray  for  the  setting  up  of  God's  king- 
 dom here  ;  as  well  as  for  my  dear  congregation  below,  and  my 
 dear  friends  elsewhere. 
 
 Aug.  21.  "  There  having  been  a  thick  smoke  in  the  house 
 where  I  lodged  all  night  before,  whereby  I  was  almost  choaked, 
 ]  was  this  morning  distressed  with  pains  in  my  head  and  neck, 
 and  could  have  no  rest.  In  the  morning,  the  smoke  was  still  the 
 same;  and  a  cold  easterly  storm  gathering,  I  could  neither  live 
 within  doors,  nor  without,  a  long  time  together.  1  was  pierced 
 with  the  rawness  of  the  air  abroad,  and  in  the  house  distressed 
 with  the  smoke.  I  was  this  day  very  vapoury,  and  lived  in  great 
 distress,  and  had  not  health  enough  to  do  any  thing  to  any  pur- 
 pose. 4S 
 
o:S  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 Aug.  23.  "In  the  forenoon,  I  was  under  great  concern  o( 
 mind  about  my  work.  Was  visited  by  some  who  desired  to  hear 
 me  preach;  discoursed  to  them,  in  the  afternoon,  with  some  fer- 
 vency, and  laboured  to  persuade  them  to  turn  to  God,  Was  full 
 of  concern  for  the  kingdom  of  Christ,  and  found  some  enlarge- 
 ment of  soul  in  prayer,  both  in  secret  and  in  my  family.  Scarce 
 ever  saw  more  clearly,  than  this  day,  that  it  is  God's  work  to  con- 
 vert souls,  and  especially  poor  Heathens.  I  knew.  1  could  not 
 touch  them  :  I  saw  I  could  only  speak  to  dry  hones,  but  could  give 
 jhem  no  sense  of  what  I  said.  My  eyes  were  up  to  God  for  help  : 
 1  could  say  the  work  was  his:  and  if  done,  the  glory  would  be  his, 
 
 Aucr.  29.  "  Felt  the  same  concern  of  mind,  as  the  day  before. 
 Enjoyed  some  freedom  in  prayer,  and  a  satisfaction  to  leave  all 
 with  God.  Travelled  to  the  Delawares,  found  few  at  home,  felt 
 poorly:  but  was  able  to  spend  some  time  alone  in  reading  God's 
 word  and  in  prayer,  and  enjoyed  some  sweetness  in  these  exer- 
 cises. In  the  evening,  was  assisted  repeatedly  in  prayer,  and 
 found  some  comfort  in  coming  to  the  throne  of  grace. 
 
 Aug.  30.  ''-Spent  the  forenoon  in  visiting  a  trader,  who  came 
 down  the  river  sick ;  and  who  appeared  as  ignorant  as  any  Indian. 
 In  the  afternoon,  spent  sometime  in  reading,  writing,  and  prayer. 
 
 Lord'^s  day,  Aug.  31.  ''Spent  much  time,  in  the  morning,  in 
 secret  duties  ;  found  a  weight  upon  my  spirits,  and  could  not  but 
 cry  to  God  with  concern  and  enga^rement  of  soul.  Spent  some 
 time  also  in  reading  and  expounding  God's  word  to  my  dear  fam- 
 ily which  was  with  me,  as  well  as  in  singing  and  prayer  with  them. 
 Afterwards  spake  the  word  of  God,  to  some  few  of  the  Susque- 
 hannah  Indians.  In  the  afteriioon,  felt  very  weak  and  feeble. 
 Near  night,  was  somewhat  refreshed  in  mind,  with  some  views  of 
 thiijgs  relating  to  my  great  work.  O  how  heavy  is  my  work, 
 when/^////?  cannot  take  hold  of  an  almighty  arm,  for  the  perform- 
 ance of  it!  Many  times  have  I  been  ready  to  sink  in  this  case. 
 Blessed  be  God,  that  I  may  repair  to  aftdl  fountain!, 
 
 Sept.  1.  "Set  out  on  a  journey  towards  a  place  called  The 
 great  Island,  about  fifty  miles  distant  from  Shaumoking,  in  the 
 north-western  branch  of  the  Susquehannah.  Travelled  some 
 part  of  the  way.  and  at  night  lodged  in  the  woods.  Was  exceed- 
 ingly feeble  this  day,  and  sweat  much  the  night  following. 
 
 Sept,  2.  "Rode  forward:  but  no  faster  than  my  people  went 
 on  foot.  Was  very  weak,  oi]  this  as  well  as  the  preceding  days. 
 I  was  so  feeble  and  fair)t,  that  I  feared  it  would  kill  me  to  lie  out 
 in  the  open  air;  and  some  of  our  company  being  parted  from  us, 
 so  that  we  had  now  no  axe  with  us,  I  had  no  way  but  to  chmb  in- 
 to a  young  pine  tree,  and  with  my  knife  to  lop  the  hranchcr,  and 
 so  made  a  shelter  from  the  dew.     But  the  evening  being  cloudy. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  370 
 
 and  very  likely  for  rain,  I  was  s(ilj  under  fears  of  being  extreme- 
 ly exposed  :  sweat  much  in  the  night,  so  that  my  linen  was  al- 
 most wringing  wet  all  night.  1  scarcely  ever  was  more  weak 
 and  weary,  than  this  evening,  when  1  was  able  to  sit  up  at  all. 
 This  was  a  melancholy  situation  I  was  in  ;  but  I  endeavoured  to 
 quiet  myself  with  considerations  of  the  possibility  of  my  being  in 
 much  worse  circumstances,  amongst  enemies,  &lc. 
 
 Sept,  S.  "  Rode  to  the  Delaware-town  ;  found  divers  drinking 
 and  drunken.  Discoursed  with  some  of  the  Indians  about  Chris- 
 tianit}';  observed  my  Interpreter  much  engaged  and  assisted  in 
 his  work  ;  some  few  persons  seemed  to  hear  with  great  earnest- 
 ness and  engagement  of  soul.  About  noon,  rode  to  a  small  town 
 of  Shauwaunoes,  about  eight  miles  distant ;  spent  an  hour  or  two 
 there,  and  returned  to  the  Delaware-town,  and  lodged  there. 
 Was  scarce  ever  more  confounded  with  a  sense  of  my  own  un- 
 fruitfulness  and  unfitness  for  my  work,  than  now.  O  what  a 
 dead,  heartless,  barren,  unprofitable  wretch  did  I  now  see  my- 
 self to  be  !  My  spirits  were  so  low,  and  my  bodily  strength  so 
 wasted,  that  I  could  do  nothing  at  all.  At  length,  being  much 
 overdone,  lay  down  on  a  buffalo-skin  ;  but  sweat  much  the  whole 
 night. 
 
 Sept,  4,  "  Discoursed  with  the  Indians,  in  the  morning,  about 
 Christianity ;  my  Interpreter,  afterwards,  carrying  on  the  dis- 
 course to  a  considerable  length.  Some  few  appeared  well-dis- 
 posed, and  somewhat  affected.  Left  this  place,  and  returned 
 towards  Shaumoking  ;  and  at  night  lodged  in  the  place  where  I 
 lodged  the  Monday-night  before  :  was  in  very  uncomfortable 
 circumstances  in  the  evening,  my  people  being  belated,  and  not 
 coming  to  me  till  past  ten  at  night ;  so  that  i  had  no  fire  to  dress 
 any  victuals,  or  to  keep  me  warm,  or  keep  oflf  wild  beasts  ;  and 
 I  was  scarce  ever  more  weak  and  worn  out  in  all  my  life.  How- 
 ever, I  lay  down  and  slept  before  my  people  came  up,  expect- 
 ing nothing  else  but  to  spend  the  whole  night  alone,  and  without 
 fire. 
 
 Sept,  5,  "  Was  exceeding  weak,  so  that  I  could  scarcely  ride; 
 it  seemed  sometimes  as  if  I  must  fall  otT  from  my  horse,  and  lie 
 in  the  open  woods:  however,  got  to  Shaumoking,  towards  night  : 
 felt  somewhat  of  a  spirit  of  thankfulness,  that  God  had  so  far  re- 
 turned me  :  was  refreshed  to  see  one  of  my  Christians,  whom  I 
 left  here  in  my  late  excursion. 
 
 Sept,  6.  "  Spent  the  day  in  a  very  weak  state  ;  coughing  and 
 spitting  blood,  and  having  little  appetite  for  any  food  I  had  with 
 me  ;  was  able  to  do  very  little,  except  discourse  a  while  of  di- 
 vine things  to  my  own  people,  and  to  some  few  I  met  with.  Had, 
 by  this  time,  very  Httle  life  or  heart  to  speak  for  God,  through 
 
380  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 feebleness  of  body,  and  flatness  of  spirits.  Was  scarcely  ever 
 more  ashamed  and  confounded  in  myself,  than  now.  I  was  sen- 
 sible, that  there  were  numbers  of  God's  people,  who  knew  I  was 
 then  out  upon  a  design,  or  at  least  the  pretence,  of  doing  some- 
 thing for  God,  and  in  his  cause,  among  the  poor  Indians  ;  and 
 they  were  ready  to  suppose,  that  1  was  fervent  in  spirit;  but  O 
 the  heartless  frame  of  mmd  that  1  felt,  filled  me  with  confusion  ! 
 O  methought  if  God's  people  knew  me,  as  God  knows,  they 
 would  not  think  so  highly  of  my  zeal  and  resolution  for  God,  as 
 perhaps  now  they  do  !  I  could  not  but  desire  they  should  see  how 
 heartless  and  irresolute  I  was,  that  they  might  be  undeceived, 
 and  ''  not  think  of  me  above  what  they  ought  to  think."  And 
 yet  I  thought,  if  they  saw  the  utmost  of  my  flatness  and  unfaith- 
 fulness, the  smallness  of  my  courage  and  resolution  for  God, 
 they  would  be  ready  to  sJiut  me  out  of  their  doors,  as  unworthy 
 of  the  company  or  friendship  of  christians. 
 
 LorcPs  day^  Sept.  7.  "  VVas  much  in  the  same  weak  state  of 
 body,  and  afflicted  frame  of  mind,  as  in  the  preceding  day  :  my 
 soul  was  grieved,  and  mourned  that  I  could  do  nothing  for  God. 
 Read  and  expounded  some  part  of  God's  word  to  my  own  dear 
 family,  and  spent  some  time  in  prayer  with  them  ;  discoursed 
 also  a  little  to  the  Pagans  ;  but  spent  the  Sabbath  with  a  little 
 comfort. 
 
 Sept  8.  "  Spent  the  forenoon  among  the  Indians  ;  in  the  af- 
 ternoon, left  Shaumoking,  and  returned  down  the  river,  a  few 
 miles.  Had  proposed  to  have  tarried  a  considerable  time  longer 
 among  the  Indians  upon  the  Susquehannah  ;  but  was  hindered 
 from  pursuing  my  purpose  by  the  sickness  that  prevailed  there, 
 the  weakly  circumstances  of  my  own  people  that  were  with  me, 
 and  especially  my  own  extraordinary  weakness,  having  been  ex- 
 ercised with  great  nocturnal  sweats,  and  a  coughing  up  of  blood, 
 almost  the  v/hole  of  the  journey.  I  was  a  great  part  of 
 the  time  so  feeble  and  faint,  that  it  seemed  as  though  I  never 
 should  be  able  to  reach  home  ;  and  at  the  same  time  very  desti- 
 tute of  the  comforts,  and  even  the  necessaries  of  life;  at  least, 
 what  was  necessary  for  one  in  so  weak  a  state.  In  this  journey 
 I  sometimes  was  enabled  to  speak  the  word  of  God  with  some 
 power,  and  divine  truths  made  some  impressions  on  divers  who 
 heard  me  ;  so  that  several,  both  men  and  women,  old  and  young, 
 seemed  (o  cleave  to  us  ,  and  be  well  disposed  towards  Christiani- 
 ty ;  but  others  mocked  and  shouted,  which  damped  those  who  be- 
 fore seemed  friendly,  at  least  some  of  them.  Yet  God,  at  times, 
 was  evidently  present,  assisting  me,  my  interpreter,  and  other 
 dear  friends  who  were  with  me.  God  gave,  sometimes,  a  good 
 degree  of  freedom  in  prayer  for  the  ingathering  of  souls  there; 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  381 
 
 and  1  could  not  but  entertain  a  strong  hope,  that  the  journey 
 should  not  be  wholly  fruitless.  Whether  the  issue  of  it  would  be 
 the  setting  up  of  Christ's  kingdom  there,  or  only  the  drawing  of 
 some  few  persons  down  to  my  congregation  in  New- Jersey  ;  or 
 whether  they  were  now  only  being  prepared  for  some  furihcr  at- 
 tempts, that  might  be  made  among  them,  1  did  not  determine  ; 
 but  I  was  persuaded,  the  journey  would  not  be  be  lost.  Blessed 
 be  God,   that  I  had  any  encouragement  and  hope, 
 
 Sept.  9.  "  Rode  down  the  river,  near  thirty  miles.  Was  ex- 
 tremely weak,  much  fatigued,  and  wet  with  a  thunder  storm.  Dis- 
 coursed with  some  warmth  and  closeness  to  some  poor  ignorant 
 souls,  on  the  life  and  power  of  religion ;  what  were,  and  what 
 were  not  the  evidences  of  it.  They  seemed  much  astonished, 
 when  they  saw  my  Indians  ask  a  blessing,  and  give  thanks,  at  din- 
 ner; concluding  that  a  very  high  evidence  of  grace  in  them  ;  but 
 were  astonished,  when  i  insisted,  that  neither  that,  nor  yet  secret 
 prayer,  was  any  sure  evidence  of  grace.  O  the  ignorance  of  the 
 world  !  How  are  some  empty  outward /orm.9,  that  may  all  be  en- 
 tirely selfish,  mistaken  for  true  religion,  infallible  evidences  of  it ! 
 The  Lord  pity  a  deluded  world  ! 
 
 Sept,  10.  "  Rode  near  twenty  miles  homeward.  Was  much 
 solicited  to  preach,  but  was  utterly  unable,  through  bodily  weak- 
 ness. Was  extremely  overdone  with  the  heat  and  showers  this 
 day,  and  coughed  up  a  considerable  quantity  of  blood. 
 
 Sept.  11.  "  Rode  homeward  ;  but  was  very  weak,  and  some- 
 times scarce  able  to  ride.  Had  a  very  impoirtunate  invitation  to 
 preach  at  a  meeting-house  1  came  by,  the  people  being  then  gath- 
 ering ;  but  could  not,  by  reason  of  weakness.  Was  resigned  and 
 composed  under  my  weakness;  but  was  much  exercised  with  con- 
 cern for  my  companions  in  travel,  whom  I  had  left  with  much  re- 
 gret, some  lame,  and  some  sick. 
 
 Sept.  12.  "  Rode  about  fifty  miles  ;  and  came,  just  at  night,  to 
 a  christian  friend's  house,  about  twenty-five  miles  westward  from 
 Philadelphia.  Was  courteously  received,  and  kindly  entertained, 
 and  found  myself  much  refreshed  in  the  midst  of  my  weakness  and 
 fatigues. 
 
 Sept.  13.  "  Was  still  agreeably  entertained  with  christian 
 friendship,  and  all  things  necessary  for  my  weak  circumstances.  In 
 the  afternoon,  heard  Mr.  Treat  preach  ;  and  was  refreshed  in  con- 
 versation with  him,  in  the  evening. 
 
 Lord'^s  day,  Sept.  14.  "  At  the  desire  of  Mr.  Treat  and  the 
 people,  I  preached  both  parts  of  the  day  (but  short)  from  Luke 
 xiv.  23.  And  the  Lord  said  unto  the  servant,  go  out,  i^c.  God 
 gave  me  some  freedom  and  warmth  in  my  discourse ;  and  I  trusty 
 
382  MEMOIRS  OF  BKAINEKD. 
 
 helped  me  in  some  measure  to  labour  in  singleness  of  heart. — 
 Was  much  tired  in  the  evening,  but  was  comforted  with  the  most 
 tender  treatment  I  ever  met  with  in  my  hfe.  My  mind,  through 
 the  whole  of  this  day,  was  exceeding  calm  ;  and'  I  could  ask  for 
 nothing  in  prayer,  with  any  encouragement  of  soul,  but  that  "  the 
 will  of  God  might  be  done." 
 
 Sept.  15.  "Spent  the  whole  day,  in  concert  with  Mr.  Treat, 
 in  endeavours  to  compose  a  difference,  subsisting  between  certain 
 persons  in  the  congregation  where  we  now  were  :  and  there  seem- 
 ed to  be  a  blessing  on  our  endeavours.  In  the  evening,  baptized 
 a  child  ;  w^as  in  a  calm,  composed  frame;  and  enjoyed,  I  trust,  a 
 spiritual  sense  of  divine  things,  while  administering  the  ordinance. 
 Afterwards,  spent  the  time  in  religious  conversation,  till  late  in 
 the  night.     This  was  indeed  a  pleasant  agreeable  evening. 
 
 Sept.  16.  "  Continued  still  at  my  friend's  house,  about  twenty- 
 five  miles  westward  of  Philadelphia.  Was  very  weak,  unable  to 
 perform  any  business,  and  scarcely  able  to  sit  up. 
 
 Scjjt.  17.  "Rode  into  Philadelphia.  Still  very  weak,  and  my 
 cough  and  spitting  of  blood  continued.  Enjoyed  some  agreeable 
 conversation  with  friends,  but  wanted  more  spirituality. 
 
 Sept.  18.  "W^ent  from  Philadelphia  to  Mr.  Treat's;  was 
 agreeably  entertained  on  the  road  ;  and  was  in  a  sweet  composed 
 frame,  in  the  evening. 
 
 Sept.  19.  "  Rode  from  Mr.  Treat's  to  Mr.  Stockston's,  at 
 Princeton  :  was  extremely  w^eak,  but  kindly  received  and  enter- 
 tained.    Spent  the  evening  with  some  degree  of  satisfaction. 
 
 Sept.  20.  "  Arrived  among  my  own  people,  near  Cranberry, 
 just  at  night:  found  them  praying  together;  went  in,  and  gave 
 them  some  account  of  God's  dealings  with  me  and  my  compan- 
 ions in  the  journey  ;  which  seemed  affecting  to  them.  I  then 
 prayed  with  them,  and  thought  the  divine  presence  was  amongst 
 us ;  divers  were  melted  into  tears,  and  seemed  to  have  a  sense  of 
 divine  things.  Being  very  weak,  I  was  obliged  soon  to  repair  to 
 my  lodgings,  and  felt  much  worn  out,  in  the  evening.  Thus  God 
 has  carried  me  through  the  fatigues  and  perils  of  another  journey 
 to  the  Susqueha.tnah,  and  returned  me  again  in  safety,  though  un- 
 der a  great  degree  of  bodily  indisposition.  Oh  that  my  soul  were 
 truly  thankful  for  renewed  instances  of  mercy  !  Many  hardships 
 and  distresses  I  endured  in  this  journey  !  but  the  Lord  supported 
 me  under  them  alh" 
 
 Hitherto  Brainerd  had  kept  a  constant  diary^  g'ving  an  ac- 
 count of  what  passed  from  day  to  day,  with  very  little  interrup- 
 tion ;  but  henceforward  his  diary  is  very  much  interrupted  by  his 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD,  383 
 
 illness ;  under  which  he  was  often  brought  so  low,  as  either  not 
 to  be  capable  of  writing,  or  not  well  able  to  bear  the  burden  of  a 
 care  so  constant,  as  was  requisite,  to  recollect,  every  evening,  what 
 had  psssed  in  the  day,  and  digest  it,  and  set  down  an  orderly  ac- 
 count of  it  in  writing.  However,  his  diary  was  not  wholly  neg- 
 lected ;  but  he  took  care,  from  time  to  time,  to  take  some  notice 
 in  it  of  the  most  material  things  concerning  himself  and  the  state 
 of  his  mind,  even  till  within  a  few  days  of  his  death,  as  the  read- 
 er will  see  afterwards.* 
 
 hordes  day,  Sept.  21,  1746.  "I  was  so  weak  that* I  could  not 
 preach,  nor  pretend  to  ride  over  to  my  people  in  the  forenoon. 
 In  the  afternoon,  rode  out;  sat  in  my  chair,  and  discoursed  to  my 
 people  from  Rom.  xiv.  7,  8.  For  none  of  us  liveth  to  himself,  he, 
 I  was  strengthened  and  helped  in  my  discourse;  and  there  ap- 
 peared something  agreeable  in  the  assembly.  I  returned  to  my 
 lodgings  extremely  tired,  but  thankful,  that  I  had  been  enabled  to 
 speak  a  word  to  my  poor  people,  from  whom  I  had  been  so  long 
 absent.  Was  enabled  to  sleep  very  little  this  night,  through  wea- 
 riness and  pain.  O  how  blessed  should  I  be,  if  the  little  I  do 
 were  all  done  with  right  views  !  Oh  that,  "  whether  I  live,  I 
 might  live  to  the  Lord ;  or  whether  I  die,  1  might  die  unto  the 
 Lord  ;  that,  whether  living  or  dying,  I  might  be  the  Lord's  ! 
 
 Sept.  27.  "  Spent  this  day,  as  well  as  the  whole  week  past, 
 under  a  great  degree  of  bodily  weakness,  exercised  with  a  violent 
 cough,  and  a  considerable  fever.  I  had  no  appetite  for  any  kind 
 of  food  ;  and  frequently  brought  up  what  I  ate,  as  soon  as  it  was 
 down;  oftentimes  had  little  rest  in  my  bed,  owing  to  pains  in  my 
 breast  and  back.  I  was  able,  however,  to  ride  over  to  my  peo- 
 ple, about  two  miles,  every  day,  and  take  some  cnre  of  those  who 
 were  then  ^t  work  upon  a  small  house  for  me  to  reside  in  among 
 the  Indian^^  I  was  sometimes  scarce  able  to  walk,  and  never 
 able  to  sit  up  the  whole  day,  through  the  week.     Was  calm  and 
 
 *  Mr  Shepard,  in  hi?  select  cases  resohrd,  under  the  first  case  s^ys  as  folloivs  : — "  I 
 have  lately  known  one,  very  able,  wise  and  godly,  put  upon  the  rack,  by  him  that, 
 envying  God's  people's  peace,  knows  how  to  change  himself  into  an  ange.l  of  light  ; 
 for  it  being  his  usual  course,  in  the  time  of  his  health  to  make  a  diarif  of  his  hourly 
 life,  and  finding  much  benefit  by  it,  he  was  in  conscience  pressed,  by  the  power  and 
 delusion  of  Satan,  to  make  and  take  the  same  daily  survey  of  his  lii'e  in  the  time  oi 
 his  sickness — by  means  of  which  he  spent  his  enfeebled  s^jirits,  cast  on  fuel  to  fire  his 
 sickness.  Had  not  a  friend  of  his  convinced  him  of  his  erroneous  conscience  mis- 
 leading him  at  that  time,  he  had  murdered  his  body,  out  of  cons-cience  to  save  his 
 soul,  and  to  preserve  his  grace.  And  do  you  think  these  were  the  motions  of  God's 
 Spirit,  which  like  those  locusts,  Rev.  ix.  9,  10.  had  faces  like  men,  but  had  tails  like 
 scorpions,  and  stings  in  their  tails.'"' 
 
 1 1  his  was  the  fourth  house  he  built  for  his  residence  among  the  Indians.  Beside 
 that  at  Kaunaumeek,  and  that  at  the  Forhi  of  Delaware^  and  auother  at  Cruxsweek- 
 sung,  he  built  o!ie  now  at  Cranberry. 
 
384  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 composed,  and  but  little  exercised  with  melancholy,  as  in  former 
 seasons  of  weakness.  Whether  I  should  ever  recover  or  no,  seem- 
 ed very  doubtful ;  but  this  was  many  times  a  comfort  to  me,  that 
 life  and  death  did  not  depend  upon  my  choice.  I  was  pleased  to 
 think,  that  He  who  is  infinitely  wise,  had  the  determination  of  this 
 matter;  and  that  I  had  no  trouble  to  consider  and  weigh  things  up- 
 on all  sides,  in  order  to  make  the  choice,  whether  I  should  live  or 
 die.  Thus  my  time  was  consumed  ;  I  had  little  strength  to  pray, 
 none  to  write  or  read,  and  scarce  any  to  meditate  ;  but  through  di- 
 vine goodness  I  could  with  great  composure  look  death  in  the 
 face,  and  frequentiy  with  sensible  joy.  O  how  blessed  it  is,  to  be 
 hah'.tuaUy  prepared  for  death  !  The  Lord  grant,  that  I  may  be 
 actually  ready  also  ! 
 
 LoT'Vs  day,  Sept.  28.  "  Rode  to  my  people  ;  and,  though 
 under  much  weakness,  attempted  to  preach  from  2  Cor.  xiii.  5. 
 Examine  yourselves,  &tc.  Discoursed  about  half  an  hour;  at 
 which  season  divine  power  seemed  to  attend  the  word  :  but  being 
 extremely  weak,  I  was  obliged  to  desist ;  and  after  a  turn  of  faint- 
 ness,  with  much  difficulty  rode  to  my  lodgings  ;  where  betaking 
 myself  to  my  bed,  I  lay  in  a  burning  fever,  and  almost  delirious, 
 for  several  hours;  till  towards  morning,  my  fever  went  off  with  a 
 violent  sweat.  I  have  often  been  feverish,  and  unable  to  rest  qui- 
 etly after  preaching  ;  but  this  was  the  most  severe,  distressing  turn, 
 that  ever  preaching  brought  upon  me.  Yet  I  felt  perfectly  at  rest 
 in  my  own  mind,  because  I  had  made  my  utmost  attempts  to  speak 
 for  God,  and  knew  I  could  do  no  more." 
 
 Sept,  30.  •'  Yesterday  and  to-day,  was  in  the  same  weak 
 itate,  or  rather  weaker  than  in  days  past  ;  w^as  scarce  able  to  sit 
 up  half  the  day.  Was  in  a  composed  frame  of  mind,  remarkably 
 free  from  dejection  and  melancholy  ;  as  God  has  been  pleased,  in 
 a  great  measure,  to  deliver  me  from  these  unhappy  glooms,  in  the 
 general  course  of  my  present  weakness  hitherto,  and  also  from  a 
 peevish  froward  spirit.  And  O  how  great  a  mercy  is  this  !  Oh 
 that  1  might  always  be  perfectly  quiet  in  seasons  of  greatest 
 weakness,  although  nature  should  sink  and  fail  !  Oh  that  1  may 
 always  be  able  with  the  utmost  sincerity  to  say,  '^  Lord,  not  my 
 will  but  thine  be  done  !"  This,  through  grace,  I  can  say  at  pres- 
 ent, with  regard  to  life  or  death,  ''  The  Lord  do  with  me  as  seems 
 good  in  his  sight;"  that  whether  I  live  or  die,  I  may  glorify  Him, 
 who  is  *'  worthy  to  receive  blessing,  and  honour,  and  dominion  for 
 ever.     Amen." 
 
 Oct,  4.  "  Spent  the  former  part  of  this  week  under  a  great  de- 
 gree of  infirmity  and  disorder,  as  1  had  done  several  weeks  be- 
 fore ;  was  able,  however,  to  ride  a  little  every  day,  although  un- 
 able to  sit  up  half  the  day,  till  Thursday.  Took  some  care  daily 
 of  some  persons  at  work  upon  my  house.     On  Friday  afternoon. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  SSS 
 
 found  myself  wonderfully  revived  and  strengthened.  Having 
 some  time  before  given  notice  to  my  people,  and  those  of  them  at 
 the  Forks  of  Delaware  in  particular,  that  I  designed,  with  the 
 leave  of  Providence,  to  administer  the  sacrament  of  the  Lord's 
 supper  upon  the  first  Sabbath  in  October.  On  Friday  afternoon 
 I  preached  preparatory  to  the  sacrament,  from  2  Cor.  xiii.  5  ;  fin- 
 ishing what  I  had  proposed  to  offer  upon  the  subject  the  Sabbath 
 before.  The  sermon  was  blessed  of  God  to  the  stirring  up  reli- 
 gious aflfection,  and  a  spirit  of  devotion,  in  the  people  of  God  ; 
 and  to  greatly  affecting  one  who  had  backslidden  from  God,  which 
 caused  him  to  judge  and  condemn  himself.  I  was  surprisingly 
 strengthened  in  my  work,  while  I  was  speaking  ;  but  was  obliged 
 immediately  after  to  repair  to  bed,  being  now  removed  into  my 
 own  house  among  the  Indians  ;  which  gave  me  such  speedy  relief 
 and  refreshment,  as  I  could  not  have  well  lived  without.  Spent 
 some  time  on  Friday  night  in  conversing  with  my  people  about 
 divine  things,  as  I  lay  upon  my  bed  ;  and  found  my  soul  refreshed, 
 though  my  body  was  weak.  This  being  Saturday,  I  discoursed 
 particularly  with  divers  of  the  communicants  ;  and  this  afternoon 
 preached  from  Zech.  xii.  10.  And  I  will  pour  on  the  house  of  Da- 
 vid^ ^c.  There  seemed  to  be  a  tender  melting,  and  hearty 
 mourning  for  sin,  in  numbers  in  the  congregation.  My  soul  was 
 in  a  comfortable  frame,  and  I  enjoyed  freedom  and  assistance  in 
 public  service  ;  was  myself,  as  well  as  most  of  the  congregation, 
 much  affected  with  the  humble  confession,  and  apparent  broken- 
 heartedness  of  the  forementioned  backslider  ;  and  could  not  but 
 rejoice,  that  God  had  given  him  such  a  sense  of  his  sin  and  un- 
 worthiness.  Was  extremely  tired  in  the  evening  ;  but  lay  on  my 
 bed,  and  discoursed  to  my  people. 
 
 Lord^s  day,  Oct.  5.  "  Was  still  very  weak  ;  and  in  the  morning 
 considerably  afraid  I  should  not  be  able  to  go  through  the  work 
 of  the  day  ;  having  much  to  do,  both  in  private  and  public.  Dis- 
 coursed before  the  administration  of  the  sacrament,  from  John  i. 
 29.  «'  Behold  the  Lamb  of  God,  that  taketh  away  the  sins  of  the 
 world."  Where  I  considered  I.  In  what  respects  Christ  is  csM" 
 ed  the  Lamb  of  God ;  and  observed  that  he  is  so  called,  (1,)  From 
 the  purity  and  iimocency  of  his  nature.  (2,)  From  his  meekness 
 a^ud  patience  under  sufferings.  (3,)  From  his  being  that  atonement 
 which  was  pointed  out  in  the  sacrifice  of  the  lambs,  and  in  partic- 
 ular by  the  paschal  lamb.  II.  Considered  how  and  in  what  sense 
 he  "takes  away  the  sin  of  the  world  :"  and  observed,  that  the 
 means  and  manner,  in  and  by  which  he  takes  away  the  sins  of  men, 
 was  his  "giving  himself  for  them,"  doing  and  suffering  in  their 
 room  and  stead,  <S2;c.  And  he  is  said  to  take  away  the  sin  of  the 
 world,  not  because  all  the  world  shall  actually  be  redeemed  from 
 
 49 
 
386  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAlNfeRD. 
 
 sin  by  him  ;  but  because,  (1.)  He  has  done  and  suffered  sufficient 
 to  answer  for  the  sins  of  the  world,  and  so  to  redeem  all  mankind. 
 (2,)  He  actually  does  take  away  the  sins  of  the  elect  world.  And, 
 III.  Considered  how  we  are  to  heholdhim^  in  order  to  have  our 
 sins  taken  away.  (1,)  Not  with  our  bodily  eyes.  Nor,  (2,)  By 
 ifnagining  him  on  the  cross,  &lc.  But  by  a  spiritual  view  of  his 
 glory  and  goodness,  engaging  the  soul  to  rely  on  him,  &ic. — The 
 divine  presence  attended  this  discourse  ;  and  the  assembly  was 
 considerably  melted  with  divine  truths.  After  sermon,  baptized 
 two  persons.  Then  administered  the  Lord's  supper  to  near  forty 
 communicants,  of  the  Indians,  besides  divers  dear  christians  of 
 the  white  people.  It  seemed  to  be  a  season  of  divine  power  and 
 grace  ;  and  numbers  seemed  to  rejoice  in  God.  O  the  sweet 
 union  and  harmony  then  appearing  among  the  religious  people  ! 
 My  soul  was  refreshed,  and  my  religious  friends,  of  the  white 
 people,  with  me.  After  the  sacrament,  could  scarcely  get  home, 
 though  it  was  not  more  than  twenty  roods;  but  was  supported 
 and  led  by  my  friends,  and  laid  on  my  bed  ;  where  I  lay  in  pain 
 till  some  time  in  the  evening  ;  and  then  was  able  to  sit  up  and 
 discourse  with  friends.  O  how  was  this  day  spent  in  prayers  and 
 praises  among  my  dear  people  !  One  might  hear  them,  all  the 
 morning  before  public  worship,  and  in  the  evening,  till  near  mid- 
 night, praying  and  singing  praises  to  God,  in  one  or  other  of  their 
 houses.     My  soul  was  refreshed,  though  my  body  was  weak." 
 
 This  week,  in  two  days,  though  in  a  very  low  state,  he  went  to 
 Elizabeth-Town,  to  attend  the  meeting  of  the  Synod  there  :  but 
 was  disappointed  by  its  removal  to  New-York.  He  continued  in 
 a  very  composed,  comfortable  frame  of  mind. 
 
 Oct.  11.  "  Towards  night  was  seized  with  an  ague,  which  was 
 followed  with  a  hard  fever,  and  considerable  pain  ;  was  treated 
 with  great  kindness  ;  and  was  ashamed  to  see  so  much  concern 
 about  so  unworthy  a  creature,  as  I  knew  myself  to  be.  Was  in  a 
 comfortable  frame  of  mind,  wholly  submissive,  with  regard  to  life 
 or  death.  It  was  indeed  a  peculiar  satisfaction  to  me,  to  think, 
 that  it  was  not  my  concern  or  business  to  determine  whether  I 
 should  live  or  die.  I  likewise  felt  peculiarly  satisfied,  while 
 under  this  uncommon  degree  of  disorder  ;  being  now  fully  con- 
 vinced of  my  being  really  weak,  and  unable  to  perform  my  work. 
 Whereas  at  other  times  my  mind  was  perplexed  with  fears,  that  I 
 was  a  misimprover  of  time,  by  conceiting  I  was  sick,  when  I  was 
 not  in  reality  so.  O  how  precious  is  time  !  And  how  guilty  it 
 makes  me  feel,  when  I  think  that  I  have  trifled  away  and  misim- 
 proved  it,  or  neglected  to  fill  up  each  part  of  it  with  duty,  to  the 
 utmost  of  my  ability  and  capacity  ! 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  587 
 
 Lor(Ps  day,  Oct,  12.  "  Was  scarcely  able  to  sit  up  in  the  fore- 
 noon :  in  the  afternoon,  attended  pubhc  worship,  and  was  in  a 
 composed  comfortable  frame. 
 
 LorcVs  day^  Oct,  1 9.  "  Was  scarcely  able  to  do  any  thing  at 
 all  in  the  week  past  except  that  on  Thursday  I  rode  out  about  four 
 miles  ;  at  which  time  I  took  cold.  As  I  was  able  to  do  little  or 
 nothing,  so  I  enjoyed  not  much  spirituality,  or  lively  religious  af- 
 fection ;  though  at  some  times  I  longed  much  to  be  more  fruitful 
 and  full  of  heavenly  affection  ;  and  was  grieved  to  see  the  hours 
 shde  away,  while  I  could  do  nothing  for  God. — Was  able  this 
 week  to  attend  public  worship.  Was  composed  and  comfortable, 
 willing  either  to  die  or  Hve  ;  but  found  it  hard  to  be  reconciled  to 
 the  thoughts  of  living  useless.  Oh  that  I  might  never  live  to  be  a 
 burden  to  God's  creation  ;  but  that  I  might  be  allowed  to  repair 
 home,  when  my  sojourning  work  is  done  !" 
 
 This  week,  he  went  back  to  his  Indians  at  Cranberry,  to  take 
 some  care  of  their  spiritual  and  temporal  concerns  ;  and  was 
 much  spent  with  riding ;  though  he  rode  but  a  little  way  in  a 
 day. 
 
 Oct,  23.  "  Went  to  my  own  house,  and  set  things  in  order. 
 Was  very  weak,  and  somewhat  melancholy  ;  laboured  to  do  some- 
 thing, but  had  no  strength  ;  and  was  forced  to  lie  down  on  my 
 bed,  very  solitary. 
 
 Oct,  24.  ''  Spent  the  day  in  overseeing  and  directing  my  peo- 
 ple, about  mending  their  fence,  and  securing  their  wheat.  Found 
 that  all  their  concerns  of  a  secular  nature  depended  upon  me. — 
 Was  somewhat  refreshed  in  the  evening,  having  been  able  to  do 
 something  valuable  in  the  day  time.  O  how  it  pains  me,  to  see 
 time  pass  away,  when  1  can  do  nothing  to  any  purpose  ! 
 
 Oct,  25.  "  Visited  some  of  my  people  ;  spent  some  time  in 
 writing,  and  felt  much  better  in  body,  than  usual.  When  it  was 
 near  night,  I  felt  so  well,  that  1  had  thoughts  of  expounding  ;  but 
 in  the  evening  was  much  disordered  again,  and  spent  the  night  in 
 coughing,  and  spitting  blood. 
 
 Lord^s  day,  Oct,  26.  "  In  the  morning  was  exceedingly  weak: 
 spent  the  day,  till  near  night,  in  pain,  to  see  my  poor  people  wan- 
 dering as  sheep  not  having  a  shepherd,  waiting  and  hoping  to  see 
 me  able  to  preach  to  them  before  night.  It  could  not  but  distress 
 me,  to  see  them  in  this  case,  and  to  find  myself  unable  to  attempt 
 any  thing  for  their  spiritual  benefit.  But  towards  night,  finding 
 myself  a  little  better,  I  called  them  together  to  my  house,  and  sat 
 down,  and  read  and  expounded  Matth.  v.  1 — 16.  This  discourse, 
 though  delivered  in  much  weakness,  was  attended  with  power  to 
 
388  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 many  of  the  hearers  ;  especially  what  was  spoken  upon  the  last 
 of  these  verses  ;  where  I  insisted  on  the  infinite  wrong  done' to 
 religion,  by  having  our  light  become  darkness^  instead  of  shining 
 before  men.  Many  in  the  congregation  were  now  deeply  affected 
 with  a  sense  of  their  deficiency  with  respect  to  a  spiritual  conver- 
 sation, which  might  recommend  religion  to  others,  and  a  spirit  of 
 concern  and  watchfulness  seemed  to  be  excited  in  them.  One, 
 in  particular,  who  had  fallen  in  the  sin  of  drunkenness  some  time 
 before,  was  now  deeply  convinced  of  his  sin,  and  the  great  dis- 
 honour done  to  religion  by  his  misconduct,  and  discovered  a  great 
 degree  of  grief  and  concern  on  that  account.  My  soul  was  re- 
 freshed to  see  this.  And  though  I  had  no  strength  to  speak  so 
 much  as  I  would  have  done,  but  was  obliged  to  lie  down  on  the 
 bed  ;  yet  1  rejoiced  to  see  such  an  humble  melting  in  the  congre- 
 gation ;  and  that  divine  truths,  though  faintly  delivered,  were  at- 
 tended with  so  much  efficacy  upon  the  auditory. 
 
 Oct,  27.  "  Spent  the  day  in  overseeing  and  directing  the  In- 
 dians, about  mending  the  fence  round  their  wheat :  was  able  to 
 walk  with  them,  and  contrive  their  business,  all  the  forenoon. 
 In  the  afternoon,  w^as  visited  by  two  dear  friends,  and  spent  some 
 time  in  conversation  with  them.  Towards  night,  I  was  able  to 
 walk  out,  and  take  care  of  the  Indians  again.  In  the  evening,  en- 
 joyed a  very  peaceful  frame. 
 
 Oct,  28.  "  Rode  to  Princeton,  in  a  very  weak  state  ;  had  such 
 a  violent  fever,  by  the  way,  that  I  was  forced  to  alight  at  a 
 friend's  house,  and  lie  down  for  some  time.  Near  night,  was 
 visited  by  Mr.  Treat,  Mr.  Beaty,  and  his  wife,  and  another 
 friend.  My  spirits  w^ere  refreshed  to  see  them  ;  but  I  was  sur- 
 prized, and  even  ashamed,  that  they  had  taken  so  much  pains  as 
 to  ride  thirty  or  forty  miles  to  see  me.  Was  able  to  sit  up  most 
 of  the  evening ;  and  spent  the  time  in  a  very  comfortable  man- 
 ner with  my  friends. 
 
 Oct.  29.  "  Rode  about  ten  miles  with  my  friends  who  came 
 yesterday  to  see  me  ;  and  then  parted  with  them  all  but  one,  who 
 stayed  on  purpose  to  keep  me  company,  and  cheer  my  spirits. 
 Was  extremely  weak,  and  very  feverish,  especially  towards 
 night  ;  but  enjoyed  comfort  and  satisfaction. 
 
 Oct.  30.  "  Rode  three  or  four  miles,  to  visit  Mr.  Wales  ;  spent 
 some  time,  in  an  agreeable  manner,  in  conversation  ;  and  though 
 extremely  weak,  enjoyed  a  comfortable,  composed  frame  of 
 mind. 
 
 Oct,  31.  "  Spent  the  day  among  friends,  in  a  comfortable 
 frame  of  mind,  though  exceedingly  weak,  and  under  a  considera- 
 ble fever. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  389 
 
 jVbr.  1 .  '*  Took  leave  of  friends,  after  having  spent  the  fore- 
 noon with  them,  and  returned  home  to  my  own  house.  Was 
 much  disordered  in  the  evening,  and  oppressed  with  my  cough ; 
 which  has  now  heen  constant  for  a  long  time,  with  a  hard  pain  in 
 my  breast,  and  fever. 
 
 Lordh  day,  Nov*  2.  "  Was  unable  to  preach,  and  scarcely  able 
 to  sit  up,  the  whole  day.  Was  grieved,  and  almost  sunk,  to  see 
 my  poor  people  destitute  of  the  means  of  grace  ;  especially  as 
 they  could  not  read,  and  so  were  under  great  disadvantages  for 
 spending  the  Sabbath  comfortably.  O  methought,  I  could  be 
 contented  to  be  sick,  if  my  poor  flock  had  a  faithful  pastor  to  feed 
 them  with  spiritual  knowledge  !  A  view  of  their  want  of  this  was 
 more  afflictive  tome,  than  all  my  bodily  illness. 
 
 Kov,  3.  '*  Being  now  in  so  weak  and  low  a  state,  that  I  was 
 utterly  incapable  of  performing  my  work,  and  having  little  hope 
 of  recovery,  unless  by  much  riding,  I  thought  it  my  duty  to  take 
 a  long  journey  into  New-England,  and  to  divert  myself  among  my 
 friends,  whom  I  had  not  now  seen  for  ^  long  time.  Accordingly  I 
 took  leave  of  my  congregation  this  d?iy. — Before  I  left  my  people, 
 1  visited  them  all  in  their  respective  houses,  and  discoursed  to 
 each  one,  as  I  thought  most  proper  and  suitable  for  their  circum- 
 stances, and  found  great  freedom  and  assistance  in  so  doing.  I 
 scarcely  left  one  house  but  some  were  in  tears  ;  and  many  were 
 not  only  affected  with  my  being  about  to  leave  them,  but  with  the 
 solemn  addresses  I  made  them  upon  divine  things  ;  for  I  was  help- 
 ed to  be  fervent  in  spirit^  while  I  discoursed  to  them. — When  I 
 had  thus  gone  through  my  congregation,  which  took  me  most  of 
 the  day,  and  had  taken  leave  of  them,  and  of  the  school,  1  left 
 home,  and  rode  about  two  miles,  to  the  house  where  I  lived  in 
 the  summer  past,  and  there  lodged.  Was  refreshed,  this  eve- 
 ning, because  I  had  left  my  congregation  so  well-disposed,  and 
 affected,  and  had  been  so  much  assisted  in  making  my  farewell- 
 addresses  to  them. 
 
 J^ov,  4.  "  Rode  to  Woodbridge,  and  lodged  with  Mr.  Pier- 
 son  ;  continuing  still  in  a  very  weak  state. 
 
 JVb-y.  5.  "  Rode  to  Elisabeth-Town  ;  intending,  as  soon  as 
 possible,  to  prosecute  my  Journey  into  New-England.  But  was, 
 in  an  hour  or  two  after  my  arrival,  taken  much  worse. 
 
 "  After  this,  for  near  a  week,  I  was  confined  to  my  chamber, 
 and  most  of  the  time  to  my  bed  :  and  then  so  far  revived  as  to  be 
 able  to  walk  about  the  house  ;  but  was  still  confined  within  doors. 
 
 "  In  the  beginning  of  this  extraordinary  turn  of  disorder,  after 
 my  coming  to  Elisabeth-Town,  I  was  enabled  through  mercy  to 
 maintain  a  calm,  composed,  and  patient  spirit,  as  I  had  been  be- 
 fore from   the   beginning  of  my  weakness.     After  I  had  been  in 
 
896  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 Elisabeth-Town  about  a  fortnight,  and  had  so  far  recovered  that 
 I  was  able  to  walk  about  the  house,  upon  a  day  of  thanksgiving 
 kept  in  this  place,  I  was  enabled  to  recall  and  recount  over  the 
 mercies  of  God,  in  such  a  manner  as  greatly  affected  me,  and 
 filled  me  with  thankfulness  and  praise.  Especially  my  soul  prais- 
 ed God  for  his  work  of  grace  among  the  Indians,  and  the  enlarge- 
 ment of  his  dear  kingdom.  My  soul  blessed  God  for  what  he  is 
 in  himself,  and  adored  him,  that  he  ever  would  display  himself 
 to  creatures.  I  rejoiced,  that  he  was  God,  and  longed  that  all 
 should  know  it,  and  feel  it,  and  rejoice  in  it.  "  Lord,  glorify 
 thyself,  was  the  desire  and  cry  of  my  soul.  O  that  all  people 
 might  love  and  praise  the  blessed  God  ;  that  he  might  have  all 
 possible  honour  and  glory  from  the  intelligent  world  ! 
 
 "  After  this  comfortable  thanksgiving-season,  I  frequently  en- 
 joyed freedom,  enlargement,  and  engagedness  of  soul  in  prayer, 
 and  was  enabled  to  intercede  with  God  for  my  dear  congrega- 
 tion, very  often  for  every  family,  and  every  person,  in  particu- 
 lar. It  was  often  a  great  comfort  to  me,  that  I  could  pray 
 heartily  to  God  for  those,  to  whom  I  could  not  speak,  and  whom 
 I  was  not  allowed  to  see.  But  at  other  times,  my  spirits  were  so 
 flat  and  low,  and  my  bodily  vigour  so  much  wasted,  that  1  had 
 scarce  any  affections  at  all. 
 
 During  his  confinement  at  Elizabethtown,  Brainerd  wrote  the 
 following  letter  to  his  youngest  brother. 
 
 To  his  Brother  Israel,  then  a  Student  at  Yale-College^  New-Haven. 
 
 "  Elizabeth-Town,  New-Jersey,  Nov,  24,   1746. 
 
 ^'dear  brother, 
 
 "  I  had  determined  to  make  you  and  my  other  friends  in  New- 
 England  a  visit,  this  fall ;  partly  from  an  earnest  desire  I  had  to 
 see  you  and  them,  and  partly  with  a  view  to  the  recovery  of  my 
 health  ;  which  has,  for  more  than  three  months  past,  been  much 
 impaired.  In  order  to  prosecute  this  design,  1  set  out  from  my 
 own  people  about  three  weeks  ago,  and  came  as  far  as  to  this 
 place;  where,  my  disorder  greatly  increasing,  I  have  been  obli- 
 ged to  keep  house  ever  since,  until  the  day  before  yesterday ; 
 when  I  was  able  to  ride  about  half  a  mile,  but  found  myself  much 
 tired  with  the  journey.  I  have  now  no  hopes  of  prosecuting  my 
 journey  into  New-England  this  winter  ;  my  present  state  of  health 
 will  by  no  means  admit  of  it.  Although  I  am,  through  divine 
 goodness,  much  better  than  I  was  some  days  ago  ;  yet  1  have  not 
 strength  now   to  ride   more  than  ten  miles  a  day,  if  the  season 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  391 
 
 were  warm,  and  fit  forme  to  travel  in.  My  disorder  has  been 
 attended  with  several  symptoms  o{  consumption  ^  and  I  have  been 
 at  times  apprehensive,  that  my  great  change  was  at  hand  :  yet 
 blessed  be  God,  I  have  never  been  affrighted;  but,  on  the  con- 
 trary, at  times  much  delighted  w\ih  a  view  of  its  approach.  O 
 the  blessedness  of  being  delivered  from  the  clogs  of  flesh  and 
 sense,  from  a  bodi/  of  sin  and  spiritual  death!  O  the  unspeaka- 
 ble sweetness  of  being  translated  into  a  state  of  complete  purity 
 and  perfection  !  believe  me,  my  brother,  a  lively  view  and  hope 
 of  these  things,  will  make  the  king  of  terrors  himself  appear  a- 
 greeable.  Dear  brother,  let  me  intreat  you,  to  keep  eternity/  in 
 your  view,  and  behave  yourself  as  becomes  one  that  must  short- 
 ly "  give  an  account  of  all  things  done  in  the  body."  That  God 
 may  be  your  God,  and  prepare  you  for  his  service  here,  and  his 
 kingdom  of  glory  hereafter,  is  the  desire  and  daily  prayer  of 
 "  Your  affectionate  loving  brother, 
 
 "DAVID  BRAINERD." 
 
 "  In  December,  I  had  revived  so  far  as  to  be  able  to  walk  a- 
 broad,  and  visit  my  friends,  and  seemed  to  be  on  the  gaining 
 hand  with  regard  to  my  health,  in  the  main,  until  Lord's  day, 
 December  21.  At  which  time  I  went  to  the  public  worship  ;  and 
 it  being  sacrament  day,  1  laboured  much  at  the  Lord's  table  to 
 bring  forth  a  certain  corruption,  and  have  it  5/«m,  as  being  an 
 enemy  to  God  and  my  own  soul  ;  and  could  not  but  hope,  that  I 
 had  gained  some  strength  against  this,  as  well  as  other  corrup- 
 tions ;  and  felt  some  brokenness  of  heart  for  my  sin. 
 
 "  After  this,  having  perhaps  taken  some  cold,  I  began  to  de- 
 cline as  to  bodily  health;  and  continued  to  do  so,  till  the  latter 
 end  of  January,  1747.  Having  a  violent  cough,  a  considerable 
 fever,  an  asthmatic  disorder,  and  no  appetite  for  any  manner  of 
 food,  nor  any  power  of  digestion,  1  was  reduced  to  so  low  a  state, 
 that  my  friends,  I  believe,  generally  despaired  of  my  life;  and 
 some  of  them,  for  some  time  together,  thought  1  could  scarce 
 live  a  day.  At  this  time,  I  could  think  of  nothing,  with  any  ap- 
 plication of  mind,  and  seemed  to  be  in  a  great  measure  void  of 
 all  affection,  and  was  exercised  with  great  temptations  ;  but  yet 
 was  not,  ordinarily,  afraid  of  death. 
 
 Lordh  day,  Feb.  1.  "  Though  in  a  very  weak  and  low  state,  I 
 enjoyed  a  considerable  degree  of  comfort  and  sweetness  in  divine 
 things  ;  and  was  enabled  to  plead  and  use  arguments  with  God  in 
 prayer,  I  think,  with  a  child-hke  spirit.  That  passage  of  scrip- 
 ture occurred  to  my  mind,  and  gave  me  great  assistance,  "  If  ye. 
 being  evil,  know  how  to  give  good  gifts  to  your  children,  how 
 much  more  will  your  heavenly  Father  give  the  holy  Spirit  to  them 
 
 v/ 
 
392  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 that  ask  him  ?"  This  text  I  was  helped  to  plead,  and  insist  upon  ; 
 and  saw  the  divine  faithfulness  engaged  for  dealing  with  me  bet- 
 ter than  any  earthly  parent  can  do  with  his  child.  This  season 
 so  refreshed  my  soul,  that  my  body  seemed  also  to  be  a  gainer  by 
 it.  From  this  time,  I  began  gradually  to  amend.  As  1  recover- 
 ed some  strength,  vigour  and  spirit,  I  found  at  times  some  free- 
 dom and  life  in  the  exercises  of  devotion,  and  some  longings  after 
 spirituality  and  a  life  of  usefulness  to  the  interests  of  the  great 
 Redeemer.  At  other  times,  I  was  awfully  barren  and  lifeless, 
 and  out  of  frame  for  the  things  of  God  ;  so  that  I  was  ready  often 
 to  cry  out,  "  Oh  that  it  were  with  me  as  in  months  past !"  Oh 
 that  God  had  taken  me  away  in  the  midst  of  my  usefulness,  with 
 a  sudden  stroke,  that  I  might  not  have  been  under  a  necessity  of 
 trifling  away  time  in  diversions !  Oh  that  I  had  never  lived  to 
 spend  so  much  precious  time,  in  so  poor  a  manner,  and  to  so  lit- 
 tle purpose  !  Thus  I  often  reflected,  was  grieved,  ashamed,  and 
 even  confounded,  sunk  and  discouraged. 
 
 Feb.  24.  "  I  was  able  to  ride  as  far  as  Newark,  (having  been 
 confined  within  Elizabeth-Town  almost  four  months,)  and  the  next 
 day  returned  to  Elizabeth-Town.  My  spirits  were  somewhat  re- 
 freshed with  the  ride,  though  my  body  was  weary. 
 
 Feb.  28.  "  Was  visited  by  an  Indian  of  my  own  congregation  ; 
 who  brought  me  letters,  and  good  news  of  the  sober  and  good 
 behaviour  of  my  people  in  general.  This  refreshed  my  soul.  I 
 could  not  but  soon  retire,  and  bless  God  for  his  goodness  ;  and 
 found,  I  trust,  a  truly  thankful  frame  of  spirit,  that  God  seemed 
 to  be  building  up  that  congregation  for  himself. 
 
 March  4.  "  I  met  with  reproof  from  a  friend,  which,  although 
 I  thought  I  did  not  deserve  it  from  him,  yet  was,  I  trust,  blessed 
 of  God  to  make  me  more  tenderly  afraid  of  sin,  more  jealous 
 over  myself,  and  more  concerned  to  keep  both  heart  and  life 
 pure  and  unblameable.  It  likewise  caused  me  to  reflect  on  my 
 past  deadness  and  want  of  spirituality,  and  to  abhor  myself,  and 
 look  on  myself  as  most  unworthy.  This  frame  of  mind  continued 
 the  next  day  ;  and  for  several  days  after,  I  grieved  to  think,  that 
 in  my  necessary  diversions  I  had  not  maintained  more  seriousness, 
 solemnity,  heavenly  affection  and  conversation.  Thus  my  spir- 
 its were  often  depressed  and  sunk ;  and  yet,  I  trust,  that  reproof 
 was  made  to  be  beneficial  to  me. 
 
 ''  March  \  1,  being  kept  in  Elizabeth-Town  as  a  day  of  fasting 
 and  prayer,  I  was  able  to  attend  public  worship  ;  which  was  the 
 first  time  I  had  been  able  so  to  do  since  December  21.  O,  how 
 much  weakness  and  distress  did  God  carry  me  through  in  this 
 space  of  time  !  But  having  obtained  help  from  him,  I  yet  live. 
 Oh  that  I  could  live  more  to  his  glory  ! 
 
BIEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  393 
 
 Lord's  day,  March  15.  "Was  able  again  to  attend  public 
 worship,  and  felt  some  earnest  desires  of  being  restored  to  the 
 ministerial  work  :  felt,  I  think,  some  spirit  and  life,  to  speak  for 
 God. 
 
 March  18.  "  Rode  out  with  a  design  to  visit  my  people  ;  and 
 the  next  day  arrived  among  them  :  but  was  under  great  dejection 
 in  my  journey. 
 
 "  On  Friday  morning,  I  rose  early,  walked  about  among  my 
 people,  and  enquired  into  their  state  and  concerns ;  and  found 
 an  additional  weight  and  burden  on  my  spirits,  upon  iicaringsome 
 things  disagreeable.  I  endeavoured  to  go  to  God  with  my  dis- 
 tresses, and  made  some  kind  of  lamentable  complaint ;  and  in  a 
 broken  manner  spread  my  difficulties  before  God  ;  but  notwith- 
 standing, my  mind  continued  very  gloomy.  About  ten  o^ciock,  I 
 called  my  people  together,  and  after  liaving  explained  and  sung  a 
 psalm,  I  prayed  with  them.  There  was  a  considerable  deal  of 
 affection  among  them  ;  I  doubt  not,  in  some  instances,  that  which 
 was  more  than  merely  natural.^' 
 
 This  was  the  last  interview  which  he  ever  had  with  his  people. 
 
 50 
 
CHAPTER  XII. 
 
 From  the  termination  of  his  Missionary  Labours  to  his  Death. 
 
 On  Friday,  March  20,  1747,  about  1 1  A.  M.  he  left  Cranberry; 
 little  suspectinf];  that  he  saw  it  and  his  beloved  people  for  the  last 
 time.  On  Saturday,  he  came  to  Elizabeth-Town,  enfeebled  in 
 health,  and  oppressed  with  melancholy.  Here  he  continued  a 
 considerable  time,  labouring  under  the  ravages  of  disease,  and 
 suifering  from  extreme  depression  of  spirit. 
 
 March  28.  "  Was  taken  this  morningwith  violent  griping  pains. 
 These  pains  were  extreme,  and  constant,  for  several  hours  ;  so 
 that  it  seemed  impossible  for  me,  without  a  miracle,  to  live  twen- 
 ty-four hours  in  such  distress.  I  lay  confined  to  my  bed,  the 
 whole  day.  and  in  distressing  pain,  all  the  former  part  of  it ;  but 
 it  pleased  God  to  bless  means  for  the  abatement  of  my  distress. 
 Was  exceedingly  weakened  by  this  pain,  and  continued  so  for 
 several  days  following  ;  being  exercised  with  a  fever,  cough,  and 
 nocturnal  sweats.  In  this  distressed  case,  so  long  as  my  head 
 was  free  of  vapoury  confusions,  death  appeared  agreeable  to  me. 
 1  looked  on  it  as  the  end  of  toils,  and  an  entrance  into  a  place 
 "where  the  weary  are  at  rest;  and  think  I  had  some  relish  for 
 the  entertainments  of  the  heavenly  state  ;  so  that  by  these  I  was 
 allured  and  drawn,  as  well  as  driven  by  the  fatigues  of  life.  O, 
 how  happy  it  is,  to  be  drawn  by  desires  of  a  state  of  perfect 
 holinessv! 
 
 April  4.  "  Was  sunk  and  dejected,  v^^ry  restless  and  uneasy, 
 by  reason  of  the  misimprovement  of  time  ;  and  yet  knew  not 
 what  to  do.  I  longed  to  spend  time  in  fasting  and  prayer,  that  I 
 might  be  delivered  from  indolence  and  coldness  in  the  things  of 
 God  ;  but,  alas,  I  had  not  bodily  strength  for  these  exercises  !  O, 
 liow  blessed  a  thing  it  is  to  enjoy  peace  of  conscience  !  but  how 
 dreadful  is  a  want  of  inward  peace  and  composure  of  soul !  It  is 
 impossible,  I  find,  to  enjoy  this  happiness  without  re c/eemz/io- //^Tie, 
 and  maintaining  a  spiritual  frame  of  mind. 
 
 Lord''s  day,  April  5.  "It  grieved  me  to  find  myself  so  inconceiv- 
 ably barren.  My  soul  thirsted  for  grace  :  ))ut.  alas,  hnw  far  was 
 I  from  obtaining  wliat  appeared  to  me  so  exceeding  excellent!  F 
 was  ready  to  despair  of  <;vpr  being  a  holy  creature  and  yet  my 
 soul  was  desirous  of  following  hard  after  God;  but  never  did   1 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  395 
 
 >ee  myself  so  far  from  having  apprehended,  or  being  already  per- 
 fect, as  at  this  time.  The  Lord's  supper  being  this  day  adminis- 
 tered, I  attended  the  ordinance  :  and  though  1  saw  in  myself  a 
 dreadful  emptiness,  and  want  of  grace,  and  saw  myself  as  it  were 
 at  an  infinite  distance  from  that  purity  which  becomes  the  gospel, 
 yet  at  the  communion,  especially  at  the  distribution  of  the  bread, 
 I  enjoyed  some  warmth  of  affection,  and  felt  a  tender  love  to  the 
 brethren;  and,  I  think,  to  the  glorious  Redeemer,  the  first-born 
 among  them.  I  endeavoured  then  to  bring  forth  mine  and  his  en- 
 emies, and  slay  them  before  him;  and  found  great  freedom  in  beg- 
 ging deliverance  from  this  spiritual  death,  as  well  as  in  asking 
 divine  favours  for  my  friends  and  congregation,  and  the  churcli 
 of  Christ  in  general. 
 
 j^pril  7.  "  in  the  afternoon  rode  to  Newark,  to  marry  the  Rev. 
 Mr.  Dickinson  ;*  and  in  the  evening,  performed  that  service. 
 Afterwards,  rode  home  to  Elisabeth-Town,  in  a  pleasant  frame, 
 full  of  composure  and  sweetness. 
 
 April  9.  "  Attended  the  ordination  of  Mr.  Tucker,f  and  after- 
 wards  the  examination  of  Mr.  Smith  :  was  in  a  comfortable  frame 
 of  mind  this  day,  and  felt  my  heart,  I  think,  sometimes  in  a  spiritu- 
 al frame. 
 
 April  10.  "  Spent  the  forenoon  in  Presbyterial  business.  In 
 the  afternoon,  rode  to  Elizabethtown  ;  found  my  brother  John 
 there  rf  spent  some  time  in  conversation  with  him  ;  but  was  ex- 
 tremely weak  and  outdone,  my  spirits  considerably  sunk,  and  my 
 mind  dejected. 
 
 April  13.  "Assisted  in  examining  my  brother.  In  the  eve- 
 ning, was  in  a  solemn  devout  frame  ;  but  was  much  overdone  and 
 oppressed  with  a  violent  head-ach. 
 
 April  14.  "  Was  able  to  do  little  or  nothing:  spent  some  time 
 with  Mr.  Byram  and  other  friends.  This  day  my  brother  went 
 to  my  people. 
 
 *  The  late  learned  and  very  excellent  Mr.  Jonathan  Dickinson,  pastor  of  a  church 
 in  Elisabeth-Town,  president  of  the  college  of  New- Jersey,  and  one  of  the  corres- 
 pondents of  the  honourable  society  in  Scotland  for  propagating:  Christian  knowled'>-e. 
 He  had  a  great  esteem  for  Brainerd  ;  kindly  entertained  him  in  his  house  durin^^- 
 his  sickness  the  winter  past ;  and  after  a  short  illness,  died  the  ensuing  October,  two 
 days  before  Brainerd. 
 
 _  t  A  worthy  pious  young  gentleman  ;  who  lived  in  the  ministry  but  a  very  short 
 time  :  he  died  at  Stratfield  in  Connecticut,  the  December  following  his  ordination,  a 
 little  while  after  Brainerd's  death  at  Northampton.  He  was  taken  ill  on  a  journey, 
 returning  from  a  visit  to  his  friends  at  Milton  in  Massachusetts,  which,  as  I  take  it, 
 was  his  native  place,  and  Harvard  College  the  place  of  his  education. 
 
 :]:  This  brother  of  his  had  been  sent  for  by  the  correspondents,  to  take  care  of,  and 
 instruct  Brainerd's  congregation  of  Indians  ;  he  being  obliged  bv  his  illness  to  beab-     1/ 
 sent  from  them.     He  continued  to  take  care  of  them  till  Brainerd's  death  :  and  since    ^ 
 his  death,  has  been  ordained  his  surcessor  in  his  mission,  and  to  the  charge  of  his  con- 
 gregation ;  which  continues  much  to  flourish  under  his  pasloral  care. 
 
396  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 April  15.  **  Found  some  freedom  at  the  throne  of  grace  seve- 
 ral times  this  day.  In  the  afternoon,  was  very  weak,  and  spent 
 the  time  to  very  little  purpose ;  yet,  in  the  evening,  had,  I  thought, 
 some  religious  warmth  and  spiritual  desires  in  prayer.  My  s^oul 
 seemed  to  go  forth  after  God,  and  take  complacence  in  his  divine 
 perfections.  But,  alas!  aftervvards  awfully  let  down  my  watch, 
 and  grew  careless  and  secure. 
 
 April  16.  *'  Was  in  bitter  anguish  of  soul,  in  the  morning,  such 
 as  I  have  scarce  ever  felt,  with  a  sense  of  sin  and  gnih,  I  contin- 
 ued in  distress  the  whole  day,  attempting  to  pray  wherever  I 
 went;  and  indeed  could  not  help  so  doing;  but  looked  upon  my- 
 self so  vi.e,  that  I  dared  not  look  any  body  in  the  face;  and  was 
 even  grieved,  that  any  body  should  shew  me  any  respect,  or  that 
 they  should  be  so  deceived  as  to  think  I  deserved  it. 
 
 April  11,  "In  the  evening,  could  not  but  think,  that  God 
 helped  me  to  "  draw  near  to  the  throne  of  grace,"  though  most 
 unworthy,  and  gave  me  a  sense  of  his  favour;  which  gave  me  in- 
 expressible support  and  encouragement.  Though  I  scarcely  dar- 
 ed to  hope  that  the  mercy  was  real,  it  appeared  so  great ;  yet 
 could  not  but  rejoice,  that  ever  God  should  discover  his  reconcil- 
 ed face  to  such  a  vile  sinner.  Shame  and  confusion,  at  times, 
 covered  m.e  ;  and  then  hope,  and  joy,  and  admiration  of  divine 
 goodness  gained  the  ascendant.  Sometimes  I  could  not  but  ad- 
 mire the  divine  goodness,  that  the  Lord  had  not  let  me  fall  into  all 
 the  grossest,  vilest  acts  of  sins  and  open  scandal,  that  could  be 
 thought  of;  and  felt  so  much  necessitated  to  praise  God,  that  this 
 was  ready  for  a  little  while  to  swallow  up  my  shame  and  pressure 
 of  spirit  on  account  of  my  sins." 
 
 After  this,  his  dejection  and  pressure  of  spirit  returned;  and  he 
 remained  under  it  the  two  next  days. 
 
 April  20.  "  Was  in  a  very  disordered  state,  and  kept  my  bed 
 most  of  the  day.  I  enjoyed  a  little  more  comfort,  than  in  several 
 of  the  preceding  days.  Jliis  day  I  arrived  at  the  age  of  twenty- 
 nine  years. 
 
 April  21.  "I  set  out  on  my  journey  for  New-England,  in  or- 
 der (if  it  might  be  the  will  of  God)  to  recover  my  health  by  riding; 
 travelled  to  New- York,  and  there  lodged." 
 
 This  proved  his  final  departure  from  New-Jersey. — He  travel- 
 led slowly,  and  arrived  among  his  friends  at  East-Haddam,  about 
 the  beginning  of  xMay.  There  is  very  little  account  in  his  diary  of 
 ihc  lime  that  passed  from  his  setting  out  on  his  journey  to  May  10. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  397 
 
 He  speaks  of  his  sometimes  finding  his  heart  rejoicing  in  the  glo- 
 rious perfections  of  God,  and  longing  to  live  to  him;  but  com- 
 plains of  the  Linfixedness  of  his  thoughts,  and  their  being  easily  di- 
 verted from  divine  subjects,  and  cries  out  of  his  leanness,  as  testi- 
 fying against  him,  in  the  loudest  manner.  Concerning  those  di- 
 versions which  he  was  obliged  to  use  for  his  health,  he  says,  that 
 he  sometimes  found  he  could  use  diversions  with  "  singleness  of 
 heart,"  aiming  at  the  glory  of  God  ;  but  that  he  also  found  there 
 was  a  necessity  of  great  care  and  watchfulness,  lest  he  should  lose 
 that  spiritual  temper  of  mind  in  his  diversions,  and  lest  they  should 
 degenerate  into  what  was  merely  selfish,  without  any  supreme  aim 
 at  the  glory  of  God  in  them. 
 
 LorcVs  day,  May  10.  "  (At  Had-Lime)*  I  could  not  but  feel 
 some  measure  of  gratitude  to  God  at  this  time,  wherein  I  was  much 
 exercised,  that  he  had  always  disposed  me,  in  my  ministry,  to  in- 
 sist on  the  greatest  doctrines  of  regeneration,  the  new  creature, 
 faith  in  Christ,  progressive  sanctijication,  supreme  love  to  God,  liv- 
 ing entirely  to  the  glory  of  God,  being  not  our  own,  and  the  like. 
 God  thus  helped  me  to  see,  in  the  surest  manner,  from  time  to 
 time,  that  these,  and  the  like  doctrines  necessarily  connected  with 
 them,  are  the  only  foundation  of  safety  and  salvation  for  perishing 
 sinners ;  and  that  those  divine  dispositions,  w-hich  are  consonant 
 hereto,  are  that  holiness,  "  without  which  no  man  shall  see  the 
 Lord."  The  exercise  of  these  God-like  tempers — wherein  the 
 soul  acts  in  a  kind  of  concert  with  God,  and  would  be  and  do  ev- 
 ery thing  that  is  pleasing  to  him — I  saw,  would  stand  by  the  soul  in 
 a  dying  hour;  for  God  must,  I  think,  deny  himself,  if  he  cast 
 away  his  own  image,  even  the  soul  that  is  one  in  desires  with  him- 
 self. 
 
 Lord^s  day.  May  17.  "  (At  Millington)f  Spent  the  forenoon 
 at  home,  being  unable  to  attend  public  worship.  At  this  time, 
 God  gave  me  such  an  affecting  sense  of  my  own  vileness,  and  the 
 exceeding  sinfulness  of  my  heart,  that  there  seemed  to  be  nothing 
 but  sin  and  corruption  within  me.  "  Innumerable  evils  compass- 
 ed me  about ;"  my  want  of  spirituality  and  holy  living,  my  ne- 
 glect of  God,  and  living  to  myself. — All  the  abominations  of  my 
 heart  and  life  seemed  to  be  open  to  my  view;  and  I  had  nothing 
 to  say,  but,  "  God  be  merciful  to  me  a  sinner." — Towards  noon, 
 I  saw,  that  the  grace  of  God  in  Christ,  is  infinitely  free  towards 
 sinners,  and  such  sinners  as  I  was.  I  also  saw,  that  God  is  the 
 supreme  good,  that  in  his  presence  is  life;  and  I  began  to  long  to 
 
 *  A  parish  of  Haddam,  in  Connecticut, 
 t  A  parish  of  East-Haddara,  in  Connecticut. 
 
398  MExMOIKS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 die,  that  I  might  be  with  him,  in  a  state  of  freedom  from  nil  sin. 
 O  how  a  small  glimpse  of  his  excellency  refreshed  my  soul!  O 
 how  worthy  is  the  blessed  God  to  be  loved,  adored,  and  delight- 
 ed in,  for  himself,  for  his  own  divine  excellencies! 
 
 *'  Though  I  felt  much  dulness,  and  want  of  a  spirit  of  prayer, 
 this  week ;  yet  I  had  some  glimpses  of  the  excellency  of  divine 
 things;  and  especially  one  morning,  in  secret  meditation  and 
 prayer,  the  excellency  and  beauty  of  holiness,  as  a  likeness  to  the 
 glorious  God,  was  so  discovered  to  me,  that  I  began  to  long  ear- 
 nestly to  be  in  that  world  where  holiness  dwells  in  perfection.  I 
 seemed  to  long  for  this  perfect  holiness,  not  so  much  for  the  sake 
 of  my  own  happiness,  although  1  saw  clearly  tiiat  this  was  the 
 greatest,  yea,  the  only  happiness  of  the  soul,  as  that  1  might  please 
 God,  live  entirely  to  him,  and  glorify  him  to  the  utmost  stretch  of 
 my  rational  powers  and  capacities. 
 
 LorcVs  day,  May  24.  "  (At  Long-Meadow)*"  Could  not  but 
 think,  as  I  have  often  remarked  to  others,  that  much  more  o^  true 
 religion  consists  in  deep  humility,  hrokenness  of  heart,  and  an 
 abasing  sense  of  barrenness  and  want  of  grace  and  holiness,  than 
 most  who  are  called  Christians,  imagine;  especially  those  who 
 have  been  esteemed  the  converts  of  the  hite  day.  Many  seem  to 
 know  of  no  other  religion  but  elevated  joys  and  affections,  arising 
 only  from  some  flights  of  imagination,  or  some  suggestion  made 
 to  their  mind,  of  Christ  being  their^s,  God  loving  them.,  and  the 
 Mike." 
 
 On  Thursday,  May  28,  he  came  from  Long-Meadow  to  North- 
 ampton; appearing  vastly  better  than,  by  his  account,  he  had  been 
 in  the  winter  ;  indeed  so  well,  that  he  was  able  to  ride  twenty- 
 five  miles  in  a  day,  and  to  walk  half  a  mile  ;  and  appeared  cheer- 
 ful, and  free  from  nielancholy:  but  yet  undoubtedly,  at  that  tim,e, 
 in  a  confirmed,  incurable  consumption. 
 
 I  had  much  opportunity,  before  this,  of  particular  information 
 concerning  him,  from  many  who  were  well  acquainted  with  him  ; 
 and  had  myself  once  an  opportunity  of  considerable  conversation 
 and  some  acquaintance  with  him,  at  New-Haven,  near  four  years 
 before,  at  the  time  of  the  commencement,  when  he  offered  that  con- 
 fession to  the  rector  of  the  college,  which  has  been  already  men- 
 tioned in  this  history  ;  having  been  one  whom  he  was  pleased 
 then  several  times  to  consult  on  that  affair  :  but  now  I  had  oppor- 
 tunity for  a  more  full  acquaintance  with  him.  I  found  him  re- 
 markably sociable,  pleasant,  and  entertaining  in  his  conversation  : 
 
 "  In  Massachusetts. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  399 
 
 yet  solid,  savoury,  spiritual,  and  very  profital/le.  He  appeared 
 meek,  modest,  and  humble;  far  from  any  stiffness,  moroseness, 
 superstitious  demureness,  or  affected  singularity  in  speech  or  be- 
 haviour, and  seeming  to  dislike  all  such  things.  We  enjoyed  not 
 only  the  benefit  of  his  conversation,  but  had  the  comfort  and  ad- 
 vantage of  hearing  him  pray  in  the  family,  from  time  to  time. — 
 His  manner  of  praying  was  very  agreeable;  most  becoming  a 
 worm  of  the  dust,  and  a  disciple  of  Christ,  addressing  an  infinitely 
 great  and  holy  God,  the  Father  of  mercies;  not  witli  florid  ex- 
 pressions, or  a  studied  eloquence  ;  not  with  any  intemperate  ve- 
 hemence, or  indecent  boldness.  It  was  at  the  greatest  distance 
 from  any  appearance  of  ostentation,  and  from  every  thing  that 
 might  look  as  though  he  meant  to  recommend  himself  to  those 
 that  were  about ^him,  or  set  himself  off  to  their  acceptance.  It 
 was  free  also  from  vain  repetitions,  without  impertinent  excur- 
 sions, or  needless  multiplying  of  words.  He  expressed  himself 
 with  the  strictest  propriety,  with  weight  and  pungency  ;  and  yet 
 what  his  lips  uttered  seem  to  flow  from  the  fulness  of  his  heart,  as 
 deeply  impressed  with  a  great  and  solemn  sense  of  our  necessi- 
 ties, unworthiness,  and  dependence,  and  of  God's  infinite  great- 
 ness, excellency,  and  sufficiency,  rather  than  merely  from  a  warm 
 and  fruitful  brain,  pouring  out  good  expressions.  I  know  not,  that 
 I  ever  heard  him  so  much  as  ask  a  blessing  or  return  thanks  at  ta- 
 ble, but  there  was  something  remarkable  to  be  observed  both  in 
 the  matter  and  manner  of  the  performance.  In  his  prayers,  he 
 insisted  much  on  the  prosperity  of  Zion,  the  advancement  of 
 Christ's  kingdom  in  the  world,  and  the  flourishing  and  propaga- 
 tion of  religion  among  the  Indians.  And  /he  generally  made  it 
 one  petition  in  his  prayer,  "  that  we  might  not  outlive  our  useful- 
 
 LoriTs  day,  May  31.  "  [At  Northampton,]  I  had  little  inw^ard 
 sweetness  in  religion,  m.ost  of  the  week  past;  not  realizing  and  be- 
 holding soiritually  the  glory  of  God,  and  the  blessed  Redeemer  ; 
 from  whence  always  arise  my  comforts  and  joys  in  religion,  if  1 
 have  any  at  all:  and  if  I  cannot  so  behold  the  excellencies  and 
 perfections  of  God,  as  to  cause  me  to  rejoice  in  him  for  what  he 
 is  in  himself  I  have  no  solid  foundation  for  joy.  To  rejoice,  only 
 because  I  apprehend  I  have  an  interest  in  Christ,  and  shall  be 
 finally  saved,  is  a  poor  mean  business  indeed." 
 
 This  week,  he  consulted  Dr.  Mather,  at  my  house  concerning 
 his  illness  ;  who  plainly  told  him,  that  there  were  great  evidences 
 of  his  being  in  a  confirmed  consumption^  and  that  he  could  givr 
 
400  MEMOIUS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 him  no  encouragement,  that  he  should  ever  recover.  But  it  seem- 
 ed not  to  occasion  the  least  discomposure  in  him,  nor  to  make  any 
 manner  of  alteration  as  to  the  cheerfulness  and  serenity  of  his 
 mind,  or  the  freedom  or  pleasantness  of  his  conversation. 
 
 Lord^s  day,  June  7.  "My  attention  was  greatly  engaged,  and 
 my  soul  so  drawn  forth,  this  day,  by  what  I  heard  of  the  "ex- 
 ceeding preciousness  of  the  saving  grace  of  God's  Spirit,"  that  it 
 almost  overcame  my  6ody,  in  my  weak  state.  I  saw  that  true 
 grace  is  exceedingly  precious  indeed;  that  it  is  very  rare;  and 
 that  there  is  but  a  very  small  degree  of  it,  even  where  the  reaHty 
 of  it  is  to  be  found ;  At  least,  I  saw  this  to  be  my  case. 
 
 "  In  the  preceding  week,  1  enjoyed  some  comfortable  seasons 
 of  meditation.  One  morning,  the  cause  of  God  appeared  ex- 
 ceedingly precious  to  me.  The  Redeemer's  kingdom  is  all  that 
 is  valuable  in  the  earth,  and  I  could  not  but  long  for  the  promo- 
 tion of  it  in  the  world.  I  saw  also,  that  this  cause  is  God's,  that 
 he  has  an  infinitely  greater  regard  and  concern  for  it,  than  I  could 
 possibly  have;  that  if  I  have  any  true  love  to  this  blessed  interest 
 it  is  only  a  drop  derived  from  that  ocean.  Hence  I  was  ready  to 
 "lift  up  my  head  with  joy;"  and  conclude,  "Well,  if  God's 
 cause  be  so  dear  and  precious  to  him,  he  will  promote  it."  Thus 
 I  did  as  it  were,  rest  on  God  that  he  would  surely  promote  that 
 which  was  so  agreeable  to  his  own  will ;  though  the  time  when, 
 must  still  be  left  to  his  sovereign  pleasure." 
 
 He  was  advised  by  physicians  still  to  continue  riding;  as  what 
 would  tend,  above  any  other  means,  to  prolong  his  life.  He  was 
 at  a  loss,  for  some  time,  which  way  to  bend  his  course  next;  but 
 finally  determined  to  ride  from  hence  to  Boston;  we  having  con- 
 cluded that  one  of  our  family  should  go  with  him,  and  be  helpful 
 lo  him  in  his  weak  and  low  state. 
 
 June  9.  "I  set  out  on  a  journey  from  Northampton  to  Boston. 
 Travelled  slowly,  and  got  some  acquaintance  with  divers  minis- 
 ters on  the  road. 
 
 "  Having  now  continued  to  ride  for  some  considerable  time  to- 
 gether, I  felt  myself  much  better  than  I  had  formerly  done;  and 
 found,  that  in  proportion  to  the  prospect  I  had  of  being  restored 
 to  a  state  of  usefulness,  so  I  desired  the  continuance  of  life ;  but 
 death  appeared,  inconceivably  more  desirable  to  me,  than  a  use- 
 less life ;  yet  blessed  be  God,  I  found  my  heart,  at  times  fully  re- 
 signed and  reconciled  to  this  greatest  of  afflictions,  if  God  saw  fit 
 thus  to  deal  with  me. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  401 
 
 June  12,  "I  arrived  in  Boston  this  day,  somewhat  fatigued 
 with  my  journey.  Observed,  that  there  is  no  rest,  but  in  God  ; 
 fatigues  of  body,  and  anxieties  of  mind,  attend  us  both  in  town  and 
 country  ;  no  place  is  exempted. 
 
 Lord* s  day,  June  14.  "I  enjoyed  some  enlargement  and 
 sweetness  in  family  prayer,  as  well  as  in  secret  exercises ;  God 
 appeared  excellent,  his  ways  full  of  pleasure  and  peace,  and  all 
 I  wanted  was  a  spirit  of  holy  fervency,  to  live  to  him. 
 
 June  17.  "This  and  the  two  preceding  days,  I  spent  mainly 
 in  visiting  the  ministers  of  the  town,  and  was  treated  whh  great 
 respect  by  them. 
 
 June  18.  '.*  I  was  taken  exceedingly  ill,  and  brought  to  the 
 gates  of  death,  by  the  breaking  of  small  ulcers  in  my  lungs,  as  my 
 physician  supposed.  In  this  extremely  weak  state,  I  continued 
 for  several  weeks,  and  was  frequently  reduced  so  low,  as  to  be  ut- 
 terly speechless,  and  not  able  so  much  as  to  whisper  a  word.  Even 
 after  I  had  so  far  re^vived,  as  to  walk  about  the  house,  and  to  step 
 out  of  doors,  I  was  exercised  every  day  with  a  faint  turn,  which 
 continued  usually  four  or  five  hours;  at  which  times, though  I  was 
 not  so  utterly  speechless,  but  that  I  could  say  Yes,  or  Ko,  yet  I 
 could  not  converse  at  all,  nor  speak  one  sentence,  without  mak- 
 ing stops  for  breath  ;  and  divers  times  this  season,  my  friends 
 gathered  round  my  bed,  to  see  me  breathe  my  last,  which  they 
 expected  every  moment,  as  I  myself  also  did. 
 
 "How  I  was,  the  first  day  or  two  of  my  illness  with  regard  to 
 to  the  exercise  of  reason,  I  scarcely  know.  I  believe  I  was 
 somewhat  shattered  with  the  violence  of  the  fever  at  times;  but 
 the  third  day  of  my  illness,  and  constantly  afterwards,  for  four  or 
 five  weeks  together,  I  enjoyed  as  much  serenity  of  mind,  and 
 clearness  of  thought,  as  perhaps  I  ever  did  in  my  life.  I  think 
 that  my  mind  never  penetrated  with  so  much  ease  and  freedom 
 into  divine  things,  as  at  this  time ;  and  I  never  felt  so  capable  of 
 demonstrating  the  truth  of  many  important  doctrines  of  the  gos- 
 pel, as  now.  As  I  saw  clearly  the  truth  of  those  great  doctrines, 
 which  are  justly  styled  the  doctrine'^  of  grace ;  so  I  saw  with  no 
 less  clearness,  that  the  essence  of  religion  consisted  in  the  soul's 
 conformity  to  God,  and  acting  above  all  selfish  views,  for  h\s  glo- 
 ry, longing  to  be  for  him  to  live  to  him,  and  please  and  honour 
 him  in  all  things  :  and  this  from  a  clear  view  of  his  infinite  excel- 
 lency and  worthiness  in  himself  to  be  loved,  adored,  worshipped, 
 and  served  by  all  intelligent  creatures.  Thus  I  saw,  that  when 
 a  soul  loves  God  with  a  supreme  love,  he  therein  acts  like  the 
 blessed  God  himself,  who  most  justly  loves  himself  in  that  man- 
 ner.    So  when   God's  interest  and  his  are  become  one,  and   he 
 
 51 
 
402  MtiMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 longs  that  God  should  he  glorified,  and  rejoices  to  think  that  he  is 
 unchangeably  possessed  of  the  highest  glory  and  blessedness, 
 herein  also  he  acts  in  conformity  to  God.  In  like  manner,  when 
 the  soul  is  fully  resigned  to,  and  rests  satisfied  and  content  with 
 the  divine  will,  here  it  is  also  conformed  to  God. 
 
 "  I  saw  further,  that  as  this  divine  temper,  by  which  the  soul 
 exalts  God,  and  treads  self  in  the  dust,  is  wrought  in  the  soul  bj 
 God's  discovering  his  own  glorious  perfections  i?i  the  face  of  Jesws 
 Christ  to  it,  by  the  special  influences  of  the  holy  Spirit,  so  he 
 cannot  but  have  regard  to  it,  as  his  own  work;  and  as  it  is  his 
 image  in  the  soul,  he  cannot  but  take  delight  in  it.  Then  I  saw 
 again,  that  if  God  should  slight  and  reject  his  oWn  moralimage^ 
 he  must  needs  deny  himself-,  which  he  cannot*do.  And  thus  I 
 saw  the  stability  and  infallibility  of  this  religion  ;  and  that  those 
 who  are  truly  possessed  of  it,  have  the  most  complete  and  satis- 
 fying evidence  of  their  being  interested  in  all  the  benefits  of 
 Christ's  redemption,  having  their  hearts  conformed  to  him  ;  and 
 that  these,  these  only,  are  qualified  for  the  employments  and  en- 
 tertainments of  God's  kingdom  of  glory;  as  none  but  these  have 
 any  relish  for  the  business  of  heaven,  which  is  to  ascribe  glory  to 
 God,  and  not  to  themselves;  and  that  God  (though  I  would  speak 
 it  with  great  reverence  of  his  name  and  perfection)  cannot,  with- 
 out denying  himself,  finally  cast  such  away. 
 
 "  The  next  thing  1  had  then  to  do,  was  to  inquire,  whether  this 
 was  my  religion :  and  here  God  was  pleased  to  help  me  to  the 
 most  easy  remembrance  and  critical  review  of  what  had  passed 
 in  course,  of  a  religious  nature,  through  several  of  the  latter 
 years  of  my  life.  Although  I  could  discover  much  corruption 
 attending  my  best  duties,  many  selfish  views  and  carnal  ends, 
 much  spiritual  pride  and  self-exaltation,and  innumerable  otherevils 
 which  compassed  me  about;  yet  God  was  pleased,  as  I  was  re- 
 viewing, quickly  to  put  this  question  out  of  doubt,  by  shewing 
 me,  that  I  had,  from  time  to  time,  acted  above  the  utmost  influ- 
 ence of  mere  self-love  ;  that  I  had  longed  to  please  and  glorify 
 him,  as  my  highest  happiness,  &:c.  This  review  was  through 
 grace  attended  with  a  present  feeling  of  the  same  divine  temper 
 of  mind.  I  felt  now  pleased,  to  think  of  the  glory  of  God,  and 
 longed  for  heaven,  as  a  state  wherein  I  might  glorify  God  perfect- 
 ly, rather  than  a  place  of  happiness  for  myself.  This  feeling  of 
 the  love  of  God  in  my  heart,  which  1  trust  the  Spirit  of  God  ex- 
 cited in  me  afresh,  was  sufficient  to  give  me  a  full  satisfaction, 
 and  make  me  long,  as  I  had  many  times  before  done,  to  be  with 
 Christ.  1  did  not  now  want  any  of  the  sudden  suggestions,  which 
 many  are  so  pleased  with,  ''  That  Christ  and  his  benefits  are  mine; 
 that  God  loves  me,"  &;c.   in  order  to  give  me  satisfaction  about 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  403 
 
 my  state.  No,  my  soul  now  abhorred  those  delusions  of  Satan, 
 "which  are  thought  to  be  the  immediate  witness  of  the  Spirit,  while 
 there  is  nothing  but  an  empty  suggestion  of  a  certain  fact,  without 
 any  gracious  discovery  of  the  divine  glory,  or  of  the  Spirit''s  work 
 in  their  own  hearts.  I  saw  the  awful  delusion  of  this  kind  of  con- 
 fidence, as  well  as  of  the  whole  of  that  religion,  from  which  they 
 usually  spring,  or  at  least  of  which  they  are  the  attendants.  The 
 false  religion  of  the  late  day,  though  a  day  of  wondrous  grace, 
 the  imaginations,  and  impressions  made  only  on  the  animal  affec- 
 tions— together  with  ihe.  sudden  suggestions  made  to  the  mind  by 
 Satan,  transformed  into  an  angel  of  light,  o{  CQitd^n  facts  not  re- 
 vealed in  scripture — and  many  such  like  things,  I  fear,  have 
 made  up  the  greater  part  of  the  religious  appearance  in  many 
 places. 
 
 "  These  things  I  saw  with  great  clearness,  when  I  was  thought 
 to  be  dying.  God  gave  me  great  concern  for  his  church  and  in- 
 terest in  the  world,  at  this  time  ;  not  so  much  because  the  laie 
 remarkable  influence  upon  the  minds  of  people  was  abated,  as 
 because  that  false  religion — those  hearts  of  imagination,  and  wild 
 and  selfish  commotions  of  the  animal  affections — which  attended 
 the  work  of  grace,  had  prevailed  so  far.  This  was  that  which 
 my  mind  dwelt  upon,  almost  day  ajid  night  5  and  this,  to  me,  was 
 the  darkest  appearance,  respecting  religion,  in  the  land ;  for  it 
 was  this  chiefly,  that  had  prejudiced  the  world  against  inward  re- 
 ligion. And  1  saw  the  great  misery  of  all  was,  that  so  few  saw 
 any  manner  of  difference  between  those  exercises  which  are  spir- 
 itual and  holy,  and  those  which  have  self-love  only  for  their  be- 
 ginning, centre,  and  end. 
 
 "As  God  was  pleased  to  afford  me  clearness  of  thought,  and 
 composure  of  mind,  almost  continually,  for  several  weeks  to- 
 gether under  my  great  weakness  ;  so  he  enabled  me,  in  some 
 measure,  to  improve  my  time,  as  I  hope,  to  valuable  purposes, 
 I  was  enabled  to  write  a  number  of  important  letters,  to  friends 
 in  remote  places  :  and  sometimes  I  wrote  when  1  was  speechless, 
 i.  e.  unable  to  maintain  conversation  with  any  body  ;  though  per- 
 haps I  was  able  to  speak  a  word  or  two  so  as  to  be  heard. 
 
 Among  the  letters  written  at  this  period,  were  the  following. 
 The  reader  will  perceive  that  they  were  written  by  one,  con- 
 scious that  he  was  standing  on  the  verge  of  the  grave,  and  real- 
 izing in  no  ordinary  degree,  the  infinite  importance  of  eternity. 
 
404  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 To  his  brother  Israel,  at  College:  zvritten  in  the  time  of  his  extreme  illness 
 in  Boston,  a  few  months  before  his  death, 
 
 "  Boston,  June  30,  1747. 
 
 "  My  dear  brother, 
 
 "  It  is  on  the  verge  o( Eternity  1  now  address  you.  I  am  hearti- 
 ly sorry,  that  I  have  so  little  strength  to  write  what  I  long  so  nnuch 
 to  communicate  to  you.  But  let  me  tell  you,  my  brother,  Eter- 
 iiity  is  another  thing  than  we  ordinarily  take  it  to  be  in  a  health- 
 ful state.  O,  how  vast  and  boundless  !  O,  how  fixed  and  unal- 
 terable !  O,  of  what  infinite  importance  is  it,  that  we  be  prepared 
 for  Eternity!  I  have  been  just  a  dying,  now  for  more  than  a  week; 
 and  all  around  me  have  thought  me  so.  I  have  had  clear  views 
 of  Eternity;  have  seen  the  blessedness  of  the  godly,  in  some 
 measure  ;  and  have  longed  to  share  their  happy  state;  as  well  as 
 been  comfortably  satisfied,  that  through  grace,  I  shall  do  so  :  but 
 O,  what  anguish  is  raised  in  my  mind,  to  think  of  Eternity  for 
 those  who  are  Christless,  for  those  who  are  mistaken,  and  who 
 bring  their  false  hopes  to  the  grave  with  them  !  The  sight  was 
 so  dreadfiil,  I  could  by  no  means  bear  it :  my  thoughts  recoiled, 
 and  I  said,  under  a  more  affecting  sense  than  ever  before,  "  Who 
 can  dwell  with  everlasting  burnings  !"  O,  methought,  could  I  now 
 see  my  friends,  that  I  might  warn  them  to  see  to  it,  that  they  lay 
 their  foundation  for  Eternity  sure.  And  for  you,  my  dear  brother, 
 I  have  been  particularly  concerned  ;  and  have  wondered,  I  so 
 much  neglected  conversing  with  you  about  your  spiritual  state  at 
 our  last  meeting.  O,  my  brother,  let  me  then  beseech  you  now 
 to  examine,  Avhcther  you  are  indeed  a  nezv  creature  F  whether 
 you  have  ever  acted  above  self/'  whether  the  glory  of  God  has 
 ever  been  the  sweetest  and  highest  concern  with  you  ?  whether 
 you  have  ever  been  reconciled  to  all  the  perfections  of  God  ? 
 in  a  word,  whether  God  has  been  your  portion,  and  a  holy  con- 
 formity to  him  your  chief  delight  ?  If  you  cannot  answer  posi- 
 tively, consider  seriously  the  frequent  breathings  of  your  soul  ; 
 but  do  not  however  put  yourself  off  with  a  slight  answer.  If  you 
 have  reason  to  think  you  are  graceless,  O,  give  yourself  and  the 
 throne  of  grace  no  rest,  till  God  arise  and  save.  But  if  the  case 
 should  be  otherwise,  bless  God  for  his  grace,  and  press  after  holi- 
 ness.* 
 
 *  Brainerd  afterwards  had  greater  satisfaction  concerning  the  state  of  his 
 brother's  soul,  by  much  opportunity  of  conversation  with  him  before  bis  death. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  405 
 
 "  My  soul  longs,  that  you  should  be  fitted  for,  and  in  due  time 
 go  into  the  work  of  the  ministry.  1  cannot  bear  to  think  of  your 
 going  into  any  other  business  in  life.  Do  not  be  discouraged,  be- 
 cause you  see  your  elder  brothers  in  the  ministry  die  early^  one 
 after  another.  1  declare,  now  I  am  dying,  I  would  not  have  spent 
 my  life  oikerroise  for  the  whole  world.  But  I  must  leave  this  with 
 God. 
 
 "  If  this  line  should  come  to  your  hands  soon  after  the  date,  I 
 should  be  almost  desirous  you  should  set  out  on  a  journey  to  me  : 
 it  may  be  you  may  see  me  alive  ;  which  I  should  much  rejoice  in. 
 But  if  you  cannot  come,  I  must  commit  you  to  the  grace  of  God, 
 where  you  are.  May  He  be  your  guide  and  counsellor,  your 
 sanctifier  and  eternal  portion  ! 
 
 "  O,  my  dear  brother,  flee  fleshly  lusts,  and  the  enchanting 
 amusements,  as  well  as  corrupt  doctrines  of  the  present  day  ;  and 
 strive  to  live  to  God,     Take  this  as  the  last  line  from 
 
 "  Your  affectionate  dying  brother. 
 
 "  David  Brainerd." 
 
 To  a  young  gentleman,  a  candidate  for  the  work  of  the  ministry,  for 
 ■whom  he  had  a  special  friendship;  also  xvritten  at  the  same  time  of  his 
 great  illness  and  nearness  to  death,  in  Boston. 
 
 "  Very  dear  sir, 
 
 "  How  amazing  it  is,  that  the  living  who  knoro  they  must  die^ 
 should,  notwithstanding,  "put  far  away  the  evil,"  in  a  season  of 
 health  and  prosperity  ;  and  live  at  such  an  awful  distance  from  a 
 familiarity  with  the  grave,  and  the  great  concerns  beyond  it! 
 Especially,  it  may  justly  fill  us  with  surprise,  that  any  whose 
 minds  have  been  divinely  enlightened  to  behold  the  important 
 things  of  eternity  as  they  are,  I  say,  that  such  should  live  in  this 
 manner.  And  yet.  Sir,  how  frequently  is  this  the  case  !  How 
 rare  are  the  instances  of  those  who  live  and  act,  from  day  to  day; 
 as  on  the  verge  of  Eternity;  striving  to  fill  up  all  their  remaining 
 moments,  in  the  service,  and  to  the  honour  of  their  gve?ii  Master! 
 We  insensibly  trifle  away  time,  while  we  seem  to  have  enough  of 
 it ;  and  are  so  strangely  amused, as  in  agreat  measure  to  lose  a  sense 
 of  the  holiness  and  blessed  qualifications  necessary  to  prepare  us 
 to  be  inhabitants  of  the  heavenly  paradise.  But  O,  dear  Sir,  a 
 dying  bed,  if  we  enjoy  our  reason  clearly,  will  give  another  view 
 of  things.  I  have  now,  for  more  than  three  weeks,  lain  under 
 the  greatest  degree  of  weakness;  the  greater  part  of  the  time, 
 expecting  daily  and  hourly  to  enter  into  the  eternal  world:  some- 
 
406  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 times  have  been  so  far  gone,  as  to  be  wholy  speechless,  for  some 
 hours  together.  O  of  what  vast  importance  has  a  holy  spiritual  life 
 appeared  to  me  at  this  season  !  I  have  longed  to  call  upon  all  my 
 friends,  to  make  it  their  business  to  live  to  God  ;  and  especially  all 
 that  are  designed  for,  or  engaged  in  the  service  of  the  sanctuary, 
 O  dear  Sir,  do  not  think  it  enough,  to  live  at  the  rate  of  common 
 Christians.  Alas,  to  how  little  purpose  do  they  often  converse, 
 when  they  meet  together!  The  visits,  even  of  those  who  are 
 called  Christians  indeed,  are  frequently  extremely  barren ;  and 
 conscience  cannot  but  condemn  us  for  the  misimprovement  of 
 time,  while  we  have  been  conversant  with  them.  But  the  way  to 
 enjoy  the  divine  presence,  and  to  be  fitted  for  distinguishing  ser- 
 vice for  God,  is  to  live  a  life  of  great  devotion  and  constant  self- 
 dedication  to  him  ;  observing  the  motions  and  dispositions  of  our 
 own  hearts,  whence  we  may  learn  the  corruptions  that  lodge  there, 
 and  our  constant  need  of  help  from  God  for  the  performance  of 
 the  least  duty.  And  O  dear  Sir,  let  me  beseech  you  frequent- 
 ly to  attend  the  great  and  precious  duties  of  secret  fasting  and 
 prayer, 
 
 "  I  have  a  secret  thought,  from  some  things  I  have  observed, 
 that  God  may  perhaps  design  you  for  some  singular  service  in  the 
 world.  O  then  labour  to  be  prepared  and  quahfied  to  do  much 
 for  God.  Read  Mr.  Edwards'  piece  on  the  affections,  again  and 
 again  ;  and  labour  to  distinguish  clearly  upon  experiences  and  af- 
 fections in  religion,  that  you  may  make  a  difference  between  the- 
 gold  and  the  shining  dross,  I  say,  labour  here,  if  ever  you  would 
 be  an  useful  minister  of  Christ;  for  nothing  has  put  such  a  stop  to 
 the  work  of  God  in  the  late  day  as  the  false  religion,  and  the  wild 
 affections  which  attend  it.  Suffer  me  therefore,  finally,  to  intreat 
 you  earnestly  to  "  give  yourself  to  prayer,  to  reading  and  medita- 
 tion on  divine  truths:  strive  to  penetrate  to  the  bottom  of  them, 
 and  never  be  content  with  a  superficial  knowledge.  By  this 
 means,  your  thoughts  will  gradually  grow  weighty  and  judicious  ; 
 and  you  hereby  will  be  possessed  of  a  valuable  treasure,  out  of 
 which  you  may  produce  "  things  new  and  old,"  to  the  glory  of 
 God. 
 
 "  And  now,  '  1  commend  you  to  the  grace  of  God  ;'  earnestly 
 desiring,  that  a  plentiful  portion  of  the  divine  Spirit  may  rest  up- 
 on you ;  that  you  may  live  to  God,  in  every  capacity  of  life,  and 
 do  abundant  service  for  him  in  sl  public  one,  if  it  be  his  will;  and 
 that  you  may  be  richly  qualified  for  the  "  inheritance  of  the  saints 
 in  light." — I  scarce  expect  to  see  your  face  anymore  in  the  body; 
 and  therefore  intreat  you  to  accept  this  as  the  last  token  of  love, 
 from  *'  Your  sincerely  affectionate  dying  friend, 
 
 DAVID  BRAINERD." 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  407 
 
 «*  P.  S.  I  am  now,  at  the  dating  of  this  letter,  considerably  re- 
 covered from  what  I  was  when  I  wrote  it;  it  having  lain  by  rne 
 some  time,  for  want  of  an  opportunity  of  conveyance  ;  it  was  writ- 
 ten in  Boston. — I  am  now  able  to  ride  a  little,  and  so  am  removed 
 into  the  country  ;  but  have  no  more  expectation  of  recovering, 
 than  when  I  wrote,  though  I  am  a  little  better  for  the  present ;  and 
 therefore  I  still  subscribe  myself, 
 
 "  Your  dying  friend,  &ic. 
 
 "D.  B." 
 
 To  his  brother  John,  at  Bethel,  the  town  bf  Christian  Indians,  in  New- 
 Jersey  ;  written  likewise  at  Boston,  when  he  was  there  on  the  brink  of 
 the  grave,  in  the  summer  before  his  death. 
 
 I  am  now  just  on  the  verge  of  Eternity,  expecting  very  speedily 
 to  appear  in  the  unseen  world.  I  feel  myself  no  more  an  inhabit- 
 ant of  earth,  and  sometimes  earnestly  long  to  "  depart  and  be  vmh 
 Christ.  I  bless  God,  he  has  for  some  years  given  me  an  abiding 
 conviction,  that  it  is  impossible  for  any  rational  creature  to  enjoy 
 true  happiness,  without  being  entirely  *'  devoted  to  him."  Under 
 the  influence  of  this  conviction  I  have  in  some  measure  acted. 
 Oh  that  I  had  done  more  so.  I  saw  both  the  excellency  and  ne- 
 cessity of  holiness  in  life  ;  but  never  in  such  a  manner  as  now, 
 when  I  am  just  brought  from  the  sides  of  the  grave.  O  my  broth- 
 er, pursue  after  holiness ;  press  towards  this  blessed  mark  ;  and 
 let  your  thirsty  soul  continually  say,  "  I  shall  never  be  satisfied  till 
 I  awake  in  thy  likeness."  Although  there  has  been  a  great  deal 
 q{  selfishness  in  my  views  ;  of  which  I  am  ashamed,  and  for  which 
 my  soul  is  humbled  at  every  view;  yet,  blessed  be  God,  I  find  I 
 have  really  had,  for  the  most  part,  such  a  concern  for  his  glory, 
 and  the  advancement  of  his  kingdom  in  the  world,  that  it  is  a  satis- 
 faction to  me  to  reflect  upon  these  years. 
 
 "  And  now,  my  dear  brother,  as  I  must  press  you  to  pursue  af- 
 ter ^ersonaZ  hohness,  to  be  as  much  in  fasting  and  prayer,  as  your 
 health  will  allow,  and  to  live  above  the  rate  of  common  Christians; 
 so  I  must  entreat  you  solemnly  to  attend  to  your  public  work;  la- 
 bour to  distinguish  between  true  and  false  religion ;  and  to  that 
 end,  watch  the  motions  of  God's  spirit  upon  your  own  heart. — 
 Look  to  him  for  help  ;  and  impartialiy  compare  your  experiences 
 with  his  word.  Read  Mr  Edwards  on  the  affections  ;  where 
 the  essence  and  soul  of  religion  is  clearly  distinguished  from  false 
 
4,08  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 affections*  Value  religious  joys  according  to  the  subject-matter 
 of  them:  there  are  many  who  rejoice  in  their  supposed  justifica- 
 iion;  but  what  do  these  joys  argue,  but  only  that  they  love  them- 
 selves ?  Whereas,  in  true  spiritual  joys,  the  soul  rejoices  in  God 
 for  what  he  is  in  himself;  blesses  God  for  his  holiness,  sovereign- 
 ty, power,  faithfulness,  and  all  his  perfections ;  adores  God,  that 
 he  is  what  he  is,  that  he  is  unchangeably  possessed  of  infinite  glory 
 and  happiness.  Now,  when  men  thus  rejoice  in  the  perfections  of 
 God,  and  in  the  infinite  excellency  of  the  way  of  salvation  by  Christ, 
 and  in  the  holy  commands  of  God,  which  are  a  transcript  of  his 
 holy  nature ;  these  joys  are  divine  and  spiritual.  Our  joys  will 
 stand  by  us  at  the  hour  of  death,  if  we  can  be  then  satisfied,  that 
 we  have  thus  acted  above  self;  and  in  a  disinterested  manner,  if  I 
 may  so  express  it,  rejoiced  in  the  glory  of  the  blessed  God.  I 
 fear,  you  are  not  sufficiently  aware  how  much  false  religion  there 
 is  in  the  world;  many  serious  christians  and  valuable  ministers 
 are  too  easily  imposed  upon  by  this  false  blaze.  I  likewise  fear, 
 you  are  not  sensible  of  the  dreadful  effects  and  consequences  of 
 this  false  religion.  Let  me  tell  you,  it  is  the  devil  transformed  in- 
 to an  angel  of  light ;  it  is  a  fiend  of  hell,  that  always  springs  up 
 with  every  revival  of  religion,  and  stabs  and  murders  the  cause 
 of  God,  while  it  passes  current  w^ith  muhitudes  of  well  meaning 
 people  for  the  height  of  religion.  Set  yourself,  my  brother,  to 
 crush  all  appearances  of  this  nature,  among  the  Indians,  and  never 
 encourage  any  degrees  of  heat  without  light.  Charge  my  people 
 in  the  name  of  their  dying  minister,  yea,  in  the  name  of  Him  who 
 was  dead  and  is  alive,  to  live  and  walk  as  becomes  the  gospel. — 
 Tell  them,  how  great  the  expectations  of  God  and  his  people  are 
 
 *l  had  at  first,  fully  intended,  in  publishing  tJiis  and  the  foregoing  letters,  to  have 
 suppressed  these  passages  wherein  my  name  is  mentioned,  and  my  discourse  on  re- 
 ligious affections  recommended  ;  and  am  sensible,  that  by  my  doing  otherwise,  I  shall 
 bring  upon  me  the  reproach  of  some.  But  how  much  soever  I  may  be  pleased  with 
 the  commendation  of  any  performance  of  mine,  (and  I  confess  I  esteem  the  judgment 
 and  approbation  of  such  a  person  as  BrAinerd  worthy  to  be  valued,  and  look  on 
 myself  as  highly  honoured  by  it,)  yet  I  can  truly  say,  the  things  that  governed  me 
 in  altering  my  forementioned  determination  with  respect  to  these  passages,  were 
 these  two.  (I)  What  BrAinerd  here  says  of  that  discourse,  shews  very  fully  and 
 particularly  whdii  his  notions  were  of  experimental  religion,  and  the  nature  of  true 
 piety,  and  bow  far  he  was  from  placing  it  in  impressions  on  the  imagination,  or  any 
 enthusiastical  impulses,  and  how  essential  in  religion  he  esteemed  holy  practice, 
 &c.  Sec.  For  all  that  have  read  that  discourse,  know  what  sentiments  are  ihere 
 expressed  concerning  those  things.  (2).  I  judged,  that  the  approbation  of  so  ap- 
 parent and  eminent  a  friend  and  example  of  inward  vital  religion,  and  evangelical 
 piety  in  the  height  of  it,  would  probably  tend  to  make  that  hook  more  serviceable  : 
 especially  among  some  kinds  of  zealous  persons,  whose  benefit  was  especially  aimed 
 at  in  the  book  ;  some  of  which  are  prejudiced  against  it,  as  written  in  too  legal  a 
 strain,  and  opposing  some  things  wherein  the  height  of  christian  experience  consists, 
 and  tending  to  build  men  upon  their  own  work«. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  409 
 
 from  them,  and  how  awfully  they  will  wound  God's  cause,  if  they 
 fall  into  vice ;  as  well  as  fatally  prejudice  other  poor  Indians. — 
 Always  insist,  that  their  experiences  are  rotten,  that  their  joys  are 
 delusive,  although  they  may  have  been  rapt  up  into  the  third 
 heavens  in  their  own  conceit  by  them,  unless  the  main  tenour  of 
 their  lives  be  spiritual,  watchful,  and  holy.  In  pressing  these 
 things,  '*  thou  shalt  both  save  thyself  and  those  that  hear  thee." 
 
 "  God  knows,  I  was  heartily  willing  to  have  served  him  longer 
 in  the  work  of  the  ministry,  although  it  had  still  been  attended 
 with  all  the  labours  and  hardships  of  past  years,  if  he  had  seen 
 fit  that  it  should  be  so :  but  as  his  will  now  appears  otherwise,  I 
 am  fully  content,  and  can  with  the  utmost  freedom  say,  "  The  will 
 of  the  Lord  be  done."  It  affects  me,  to  think  of  leaving  you  in  a 
 world  of  sin  ;  my  heart  pities  you,  that  those  storms  and  tempests 
 are  yet  before  you,  from  which  I  trust,  through  grace,  I  am  al- 
 most delivered.  But  "God  lives,  and  blessed  be  my  Rock  ;"  he 
 is  the  same  almighty  Friend  ;  and  will,  I  trust,  be  your  Guide  and 
 Helper,  as  he  has  been  mine. 
 
 "  And  now,  my  dear  brother,  "  I  commend  you  to  God  and  to 
 the  word  of  his  grace,  which  is  able  to  build  you  up,  and  give  you 
 inheritance  among  all  them  that  are  sanctified.  May  you  enjoy 
 the  divine  presence,  both  in  private  and  public ;  and  may  •'  the 
 arms  of  your  hands  be  made  strong,  by  the  right  hand  of  the 
 mighty  God  of  Jacob  !"  Which  are  the  passionate  desires  and 
 prayers  of 
 
 "  Your  affectionate  dying  brother, 
 
 "DAVID  BRAINERD." 
 
 "  At  this  season  also,  while  I  was  confined  at  Boston,  I  read  with 
 care  and  attention  some  papers  of  old  Mr.  Shepard's,  lately  come 
 to  light,  and  designed  for  the  press;  and,  as  I  was  desired,  and 
 greatly  urged,  made  some  corrections,  where  the  sense  was  left 
 dark,  for  want  of  a  word  or  two. — Besides  this,  I  had  many  visit- 
 ants ;  with  whom,  when  I  was  able  to  speak,  I  always  conversed 
 of  the  things  of  religion  ;  and  was  peculiarly  assisted  in  distin- 
 guishing between  the  true  2ind  false  religion  of  the  times.  There 
 is  scarcely  any  subject,  which  has  been  matter  of  controversy  of 
 late,  but  I  was  at  one  time  or  other  compelled  to  discuss  and  shew 
 my  opinion  respecting  it;  and  that  frequently  before  numbers  of 
 people.  Especially,  I  discoursed  repeatedly  on  the  nature  and 
 necessity  of  that  humiliation,  self-emptiness,  or  full  conviction  of  a 
 person's  being  utterly  undone  in  himself,  which  is  necessary  in  or- 
 der to  a  saving  faith,  and  the  extreme  difficulty  of  being  brought 
 to  this,  and  the  great  danger  there  is  of  persons  taking  up  with  some 
 
 52 
 
410  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 self-righteous  appearances  of  it.  The  danger  of  this  I  especially 
 dwelt  upon,  being  persuaded  that  multitudes  perish  in  this  hiddea 
 way ;  and  because  so  little  is  said  from  most  pulpits  to  discover 
 any  danger  here  :  so  that  persons  being  never  effectually  brought 
 to  die  in  themselves^  are  never  truly  united  to  Christy  and  so  perish. 
 I  also  discoursed  much  on  what  I  take  to  be  the  essence  of  true 
 religion ;  endeavouring  plainly  to  describe  that  god-h'ke  temper 
 and  disposition  of  soul,  and  that  holy  conversation  and  behaviour, 
 which  may  justly  claim  the  honour  of  having  God  for  its  original 
 and  patron.  I  have  reason  to  hope  God  blessed  my  way  of  dis- 
 coursing and  distinguishing  to  some,  both  ministers  and  people  ; 
 so  that  my  time  was  not  wholly  lost." 
 
 He  was  much  visited,  while  in  Boston,  by  many  persons  of  con- 
 siderable note  and  character,  and  by  some  of  the  first  rank  3  who 
 showed  him  uncommon  respect,  and  appeared  highly  pleased  and 
 entertained  with  his  conversation.  Beside  being  honoured  with 
 the  company  and  respect  of  ministers  of  the  town,  he  was  visited 
 by  several  ministers  from  various  parts  of  the  country.  He  took 
 all  opportunities  to  discourse  on  the  peculiar  nature,  and  distin- 
 guishing characteristics  of  true,  spiritual,  and  vital  religion;  and  to 
 bear  his  testimony  against  the  various  false  appearances  of  it,  con- 
 sisting in,  or  arising  from  impressions  on  the  imagination,  sudden 
 and  supposed  immediate  syggesiions  of  truths  not  contained  in  the 
 scripture,  and  that  faith  which  consists  primarll-i  in  a  person  be- 
 lieving that  Christ  died  for  him  in  particular,  &:c.  What  he  said 
 was,  for  the  most  part,  heard  with  uncommon  attention  and  re- 
 gard :  and  his  discourses  and  reasonings  appeared  manifestly  t© 
 have  great  weight  and  influence,  with  many  with  whom  he  con- 
 versed both  ministers  and  others.* 
 
 The  honourable  Commissioners  in  Boston,  of  the  incorporated 
 society  in  London  for  propagating  the  gospel  in  New-England 
 and  parts  adjacent,  having  newly  had  committed  to  them  a  legacy 
 of  the  late  reverend  and  famous  Dr.  Daniel  WiHiams,  of  London, 
 for  the  support  of  two  missionaries  to  the  Heathen,  were  pleased 
 while  he  was  in  Boston,  to  consult  him  about  a  mission  to  those 
 Indians  called  the  Six  Nations,  particularly  about  the  qualifica- 
 tions requisite  in  a  missionary  to  those  Indians.  They  were  so 
 satisfied  with  his  sentiments  on  this  head,  and  had  such  confidence 
 in  his  faithfulness,  his  judgment  and  discretion  in  things  of  this 
 nature,  ihat  they  desired  him  to  undertake  to  find  and  recommend 
 
 *  I  have  bad  advanta^fe  for  the  more  full  information  of  his  conduct  and  conver- 
 sation, the  eaitertainmfnt  he  met  with,  and  what  passed  relating  to  him  while  in 
 Boston  ;  as  lie  was  constantly  attended,  during  his  continuance  there,  by  one  of 
 my  children,  in  order  to  hi?  assistance  in  his  iUnes'^. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  411 
 
 two  persons  fit  to  be  emploved  in  this  business  ;  and  very  much 
 left  the  matter  with  him. 
 
 Several  pious  and  generously  disposed  gentlemen  in  Boston, 
 moved  by  the  wonderful  narrative  of  his  labours  and  success 
 among  the  Indians  in  New-Jersey,  and  more  especially  by  their 
 conversation  with  him  on  the  same  subject  ;  took  opportunity  to 
 inquire  more  particularly  into  the  state  and  necessities  of  his  con- 
 gregation, and  the  school  among  them,  with  a  charitable  intention 
 of  contributing  something  to  promote  the  excellent  design  of  ad- 
 vancing the  interests  of  Christianity  among  the  Indians.  Under- 
 wStanding  that  there  was  a  want  of  Bibles  for  the  school,  three  doz- 
 en Bibles  were  immediately  procured,  and  14/.  in  bills  (of  the  old 
 tenor)  given  over  and  above,  besides  more  large  benefactions 
 made  afterwards,  which  I  shall  have  occasion  to  mention  in  their 
 proper  place. 
 
 Brainerd's  restoration  from  his  extremely  low  state  in  Boston, 
 so  as  to  go  abroad  again  and  to  travel,  was  very  unexpected  to 
 him  and  his  friends.  My  daughter,  who  was  with  him,  writes  thus 
 concerning  him,  in  a  letter  dated  June  23. — "  On  Thursday,  he 
 was  very  ill  with  a  violent  fever,  and  extreme  pain  in  his  head  and 
 br'iast,  and,  at  turns,  delirious.  So  he  remained  till  Saturday 
 evening,  when  he  seemed  to  be  in  the  agonies  of  death  ;  the  fam- 
 ily was  up  with  him  till  one  or  two  o'clock,  expecting  that  every 
 hour  would  be  his  last.  On  Sabbath  day  he  was  a  little  revived, 
 his  head  was  better,  but  very  full  of  pain,  and  exceeding  sore  at 
 his  breast,  much  put  to  it  for  breath,  &;c.  Yesterday  he  was  bet- 
 ter upon  all  accounts.  Last  night  he  slept  but  little.  This  mor- 
 ning he  was  much  worse. — Dr.  Pynchon  says,  he  has  no  hopes  of 
 his  life  ;  nor  does  he  think  it  likely  that  he  will  ever  come  out  of 
 the  chamber;  though  he  says  he  may  be  able  to  come  to  North- 
 ampton.— " 
 
 In  another  letter  dated  June  29,  she  says  as  follows  : — Mr. 
 Brainerd  has  not  so  much  pain,  nor  fever,  since  1  last  wrote,  as 
 before  :  yet  he  is  extremely  weak  and  low,  and  very  faint,  ex- 
 pecting every  day  will  be  his  last.  He  says,  it  is  impossible  for 
 him  to  live  ;  for  he  has  hardly  vigour  enough  to  draw  his  breath. 
 I  went  this  morning  into  town,  and  when  I  came  home,  Mr. 
 Bromfield  said,  he  never  expected  I  should  see  him  alive  ;  for  he 
 lay  two  hours,  as  they  thought,  dying  ;  one  could  scarcely  tell, 
 whether  he  was  alive  or  not ;  he  was  not  able  to  speak  for  some 
 time  :  but  now  is  much  as  he  was  before.  The  doctor  thinks  he  will 
 drop  away  in  such  a  turn.  Mr.  Brainerd  says,  he  never  feltany  thing 
 so  much  like  dissolution,  as  that  he  felt  to-day  ;  and  says,  he  never 
 had  any  conceptionof  its  beingpossible  for  any  creature  to  be  alive, 
 and  yet  so  weak  as  he  is  from  day  to  day. — Dr.  Pynchon  says,  he 
 
412  MExMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 should  not  be  surprised,  if  he  should  so  recover  as  to  live  half  a 
 year  ;  nor  would  it  surprise  him,  if  he  should  die  in  half  a  day. 
 Since  I  began  to  write,  he  is  not  so  well,  having  had  a  faint  turn 
 again  :  yet  patient  and  resigned,  having  no  distressing  fears,  but 
 the  contrary." 
 
 His  physician,  the  honourable  Joseph  Pynchon,  Esq.  when  he 
 visited  him  in  his  extreme  illness  in  Boston,  attributed  his  sinking 
 so  suddenly  into  a  state  so  extremely  low,  and  nigh  unto  death,  to 
 the  breaking  of  ulcers,  which  had  been  long  gathering  in  his  lungs, 
 as  Brainerd  himself  intimates  in  a  forementioned  passage  in  his 
 diary,  and  there  discharging  and  diffusing  their  purulent  matter. 
 This,  while  nature  was  labouring  and  struggling  to  throw  it  off, 
 which  could  be  done  no  otherwise  than  by  a  gradual  straining  of 
 it  through  the  small  vessels  of  those  vital  parts,  occasioned  a  high 
 fever  and  violent  coughing,  threw  the  whole  frame  of  nature  into 
 the  utmostdisorder,  and  brought  it  near  to  a  dissolution.  But  it  was 
 supposed,  if  the  strength  of  nature  held  till  the  lungs  had  this  way 
 gradually  cleared  themselves  of  this  putrid  matter,  he  might  re- 
 vive, and  continue  better,  till  new  ulcers  gathered  and  broke  ; 
 but  that  this  would  surely  sink  him  again,  and  there  was  no  hope 
 of  his  recovery.  He  expressed  himself  to  one  of  my  neighbours, 
 who  at  that  time  saw  him  in  Boston,  that  he  was  as  certainly  a 
 dead  man,  as  if  he  was  shot  through  the  heart. 
 
 But  so  it  was  ordered  in  divine  Providence,  that  the  strength 
 of  nature  held  out  through  this  great  conflict,  so  as  just  to  escape 
 the  grave  at  that  turn  ;  and  then  he  revived,  to  the  astonishment 
 of  all  who  knew  liis  case.  After  he  began  to  revive,  he  was  visi- 
 ted by  his  youngest  brother,  Israel,  a  student  at  Yale  College ; 
 who  having  heard  of  his  extreme  illness,  went  from  thence  to 
 Boston,  in  order  to  see  him  ;  if  he  might  find  him  ahve,  which  he 
 but  little  expected. 
 
 This  visit  was  attended  with  a  mixture  of  joy  and  sorrow  to 
 Brainerd.  He  greatly  rejoiced  to  see  his  brother;  especially 
 because  he  had  desired  an  opportunity  of  some  religious  conver- 
 sation with  him  before  he  died.  But  this  meeting  was  attended 
 with  sorrow,  as  his  brother  brought  to  him  the  sorrowful  tidings 
 of  his  sister  Spencer's  death  at  Haddam  ;  a  sister,  between  whom 
 and  him  had  long  subsisted  a  peculiarly  dear  affection,  and  much 
 intimacy  in  spiritual  matters,  and  whose  house  he  used  to  make 
 his  own,  when  he  went  to  Haddam,  his  native  place.  He  had 
 heard  nothing  of  her  sickness  till  this  report  of  her  death. 
 But  he  had  these  comforts,  together  with  the  tidings,  viz. a  confi- 
 dence of  her  being  gone  to  heaven,  and  an  expectation  of  his  soon 
 meeting  her  there. — His  brother  contined  with  him  till  he  left  the 
 town,  and  came  with  him  from  thence  to  Northampton— Con- 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  413 
 
 cerning  the  last  Sabbath  Braiiierd  spent  in  Boston,  he  writes  in 
 his  diary  as  follows  : — 
 
 LordPs  day,  My  19.  "I  was  just  able  to  attend  public  wor- 
 ship, being  carried  to  the  house  of  God  in  a  chaise.  Heard  Dr. 
 Sewall  preach,  in  the  forenoon  :  partook  of  the  Lord's  supper 
 at  this  time.  In  this  sacrament,  I  saw  astonishing  divine  wisdom 
 displayed  ;  such  wisdom,  as  I  saw,  required  the  tongues  of  angels 
 and  glorified  saints  to  celebrate.  It  seemed  to  me  that  I  never 
 should  do  any  thing  at  adoring  the  infinite  a;i5fZom  of  God,  dis- 
 covered in  the  contrivance  of  man's  redemption,  until  I  arrived 
 at  a  world  of  perfection  ;  yet  I  could  not  help  striving  "  to  call 
 upon  my  soul,  and  all  within  me,  to  bless  the  name  of  God." — In 
 the  afternoon,  heard  Mr.  Prince  preach. — I  saw  more  of  God  in 
 the  wisdom  discovered  in  the  plan  of  man's  redemption,  than  1 
 saw  of  any  other  of  his  perfections,  through  the  whole  day." 
 
 He  left  Boston  the  next  day.  But  before  he  came  away,  he 
 had  occasion  to  bear  a  very  full,  plain,  and  open  testimony  against 
 that  opinion,  that  the  essence  of  %aL\ing  faith  lies  in  beliemng  that 
 Christ  died  for  me  in.  particular  ;  and  that  this  is  the^r^^  act  of 
 faith  in  a  true  believer's  closing  with  Christ.  He  did  it  in  a  long 
 conference  he  had  with  a  gentleman,  who  has  very  publicly  and 
 strenuously  appeared  to  defend  that  tenet.  He  had  this  discourse 
 with  him  in  the  presence  of  a  number  of  respectable  individuals 
 who  came  to  visit  Brainerd  before  he  left  the  town,  and  to  take 
 their  leave  of  him.  In  this  debate,  he  made  this  plain  declaration, 
 at  the  same  time  confirming  what  he  said  by  many  arguments, 
 That  the  essence  of  saving/m7A  was  wholly  left  out  of  the  defini- 
 tion which  that  gentleman  has  published  ;  and  that  the  faith  whicii 
 he  had  defined,  had  nothing  of  God  in  it,  nothing  above  nature, 
 nor  indeed  above  the  power  of  the  devils  ;  and  that  all  such  as 
 had  this  faith,  and  no  better,  though  they  might  have  this  to  never 
 so  high  a  degree,  would  surely  perish.  He  declared  also,  that  he 
 never  had  greater  assurance  of  the  falseness  of  the  principles  of 
 those  who  maintained  such  a  faith,  and  of  their  dangerous  and  de- 
 structive tendency,  or  a  more  alTecting  sense  of  the  great  delusion 
 and  misery  of  those  who  depended  on  getting  to  heaven  by  such  a 
 faith,  while  they  had  no  better,  than  he  lately  had  when  he  was 
 supposed  to  be  at  the  point  to  die,  and  expected  every  minute  to 
 pass  into  eternity, — Brainerd's  discourse  at  this  time,  and  the 
 forcible  reasonings  by  which  he  confirmed  what  he  asserted,  ap- 
 peared to  be  greatly  to  the  satisfaction  of  those  present ;  as  seve- 
 ral of  them  took  occasion  expressly  to  manifest  to  him,  before 
 they  took  leave  of  him. 
 
414  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 When  this  conversation  was  ended,  having  bid  an  affectionate 
 farewell  to  his  friends,  he  set  out  in  the  cool  of  the  afternoon,  on 
 his  journey  to  Northampton,  attended  by  his  brother,  and  mj 
 daughter  who  went  with  him  to  Boston;  and  would  have  been  ac- 
 companied out  of  the  town  by  a  number  of  gentlemen,  besides 
 that  honourable  person  who  gave  him  his  company  for  some  miles 
 on  that  occasion,  as  a  testimony  of  their  esteem  and  respect,  had 
 not  his  aversion  to  any  thing  of  pomp  and  shew  prevented  it. 
 
 July  25.  ''  I  arrived  here,  at  Northampton  ;  having  set  out 
 from  Boston  on  Monday,  about  4  o'clock  P.M.  In  this  journey,  I 
 rode  about  sixteen  miles  a  day,  one  day  with  another.  Was 
 sometimes  extremely  tired  and  faint  on  the  road,  so  that  it  seem- 
 ed impossible  for  me  to  proceed  any  further:  at  other  times  I 
 was  considerably  better,  and  felt  some  freedom  both  of  body  and 
 mind. 
 
 Lor(Ps  day^  July  26.  ''  This  dr^iy  I  saw  clearly,  that  I  should 
 never  be  happy  ;  yea,  that  God  himself  could  not  make  me  hap- 
 py, unless  I  could  be  in  a  capacity  to  "  please  and  glorify  him  for 
 ever."  Take  away  this^  and  admit  me  in  all  the  fine  heavens  that 
 can  be  conceived  of  by  men  or  angels,  and  I  snould  still  be  miser- 
 able for  ever." 
 
 Though  he  had  so  revived,  as  to  be  able  to  travel  thus  far,  yet 
 he  manifested  no  expectation  of  recovery.  He  supposed  as  his 
 physician  did,  that  his  being  brought  so  near  to  deatii  at  Boston, 
 was  owing  to  the  breaking  of  ulcers  in  his  lungs.  He  told  me 
 that  he  had  several  such  ill  turns  before,  only  not  to  so  high  a  de- 
 gree, but  as  he  supposed,  owing  to  the  same  cause,  viz.  the  break- 
 ing of  ulcers;  that  he  was  brought  lower  and  lower  every  time  ; 
 that  it  aptjeared  to  him,  that  in  his  last  sickness  he  was  hrought 
 lis  low  as  it  was  possible,  and  yet  live  ;  and  that  he  had  not  the 
 •least  expectation  of  surviving  the  next  return  of  this  breaking  of 
 ulcers  ;  but  still  appeared  perfectly  calm  in  the  prospect  of 
 death. 
 
 On  Wednesday  morning,  the  week  after  he  cam^  to  Northamp- 
 ton, he  took  leave  of  his  brother  Israel,  never  expecting  to  see 
 him  again  in  this  world  :  he  now  setting  out  from  hence  on  his 
 journey  to  New-Haven. 
 
 When  Brainerd  came  hither,  he  had  so  much  strength  as  to  be 
 able,  from  day  to  day,  to  ride  out  two  or  three  miles,  and  to  re- 
 turn ;  and  sometimes  to  pray  in  the  family  :  but  from  this  time 
 3ie  gradually  decayed,  becoming  weaker  and  weaker. 
 
 While  he  was  here,  his  conversation  from  first  to  last  was 
 much  on  the  same  subjects  as  when  in  Boston.     He  spoke  much 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  4l5 
 
 ©f  the  nature  o{  true  religion  in  the  heart  and  practice,  as  distin- 
 guished from  its  various  counterfeits  ;  expressing  his  great  concern 
 that  the  latter  so  much  prevailed  in  many  places.  He  often 
 manifested  his  great  abhorrence  of  all  such  doctrines  and  princi- 
 ples in  reHgion,  as  had  any  tendency  to  Antinomianism  ;  of  all 
 such  notions,  as  seemed  to  diminish  the  necessity  of  holiness 
 of  life,  or  to  abate  men's  regard  to  the  commands  of  God, 
 and  a  strict,  diligent,  and  universal  practice  of  virtue  and 
 piety,  under  a  pretence  of  depreciating  our  works,  and  magnify- 
 ing God's  free  grace.  He  spoke  often,  with  much  detestation,  of 
 such  experiences  and  pretended  discoveries  and  joys,  as  have  noth- 
 ing of  the  nature  oi  sanctifi cation  in  them,  as  do  not  tend  to  strict- 
 ness, tenderness,  and  diligence  in  religion,  to  meekness  and  be- 
 nevolence towards  mankind,  and  an  humble  behaviour.  He  also 
 declared,  that  he  looked  on  such  pretended  humility  as  worthy  of 
 no  regard,  which  was  not  manifested  by  modesty  of  conduct  and 
 conversation.  He  spoke  often  with  abhorrence  of  the  spirit  and 
 practice  which  appear  among  the  greater  part  of  separatists  at  this 
 day  in  the  land,  particularly  those  in  the  Eastern  parts  of  Connec- 
 ticut ;  in  their  condemning,  and  separating  from,  the  standing 
 ministry  and  churches,  their  crying  down  learning  and  a  learned 
 ministry,  their  notion  of  an  immediate  call  to  the  work  of  the  min- 
 istry, and  the  forwardness  o{  laymen  to  set  up  themselves  as  pub- 
 lic teachers  and  preachers.  He  had  been  much  conversant  in  the 
 eastern  part  of  Connecticut,  it  being  near  his  native  place,  when 
 the  same  principles,  notion,  and  spirit  began  to  operate,  which 
 have  since  prevailed  to  a  greater  height ;  and  had  acquaintance 
 with  some  of  those  persons  who  are  become  heads  and  leaders  of 
 the  separatists.  He  had  also  been  conversant  with  persons  of  the 
 same  class  elsewhere  ;  and  I  heard  him  say,  once  and  again,  that 
 he  knew  by  his  acquaintance  with  this  sort  of  people,  that  what  was 
 chiefly  and  most  generally  in  repute  among  them  as  the  power  of 
 godliness,  was  an  entirely  different  thing  from  that  true  vital  piety 
 recommended  in  the  scriptures,  and  had  nothing  in  it  of  that  na- 
 ture. He  manifested  a  great  dislike  of  a  disposition  in  persons  to 
 much  noise  and  show  in  relgion,  and  affecting  to  be  abundant  in 
 proclaiming  and  publishing  their  own  experiences.  Though  at  the 
 same  time  he  did  not  condemn,  but  approved  of  Christians  speak- 
 ing of  their  own  experiences  on  some  occasions,  and  to  some  per- 
 sons, with  due  modesty  and  discretion.  He  A /mi  e//"  sometimes, 
 while  at  my  house,  spake  of  his  own  experiences  ;  but  it  was  al- 
 ways with  apparent  reserve,  and  in  the  exercise  of  care  and  judg- 
 ment with  respect  to  occasions,  persons,  and  circumstances.  He 
 mentioned  some  remarkable  things  of  his  own  religious  experience 
 to  two  young  gentlemen,  candidates  for  the  ministry,  who  watch- 
 
416  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 ed  with  him,  each  at  different  times,  when  he  was  very  low,  and 
 not  far  from  his  end  ;  but  he  desired  both  of  them  not  to  speak 
 of  what  he  had  told  them  till  after  his  death. 
 
 The  subject  of  the  debate  already  mentioned,  which  he  had 
 with  a  certain  gentleman,  the  day  he  left  Boston,  seemed  to  lie 
 with  much  weight  on  his  mind  after  he  came  hither.  He  began 
 to  write  a  letter  to  that  gentleman,  expressing  his  sentiments  con- 
 cerning the  dangerous  tendency  of  some  of  the  tenets  he  had  ex- 
 pressed in  conversation,  and  in  the  writings  he  had  published  ; 
 with  the  considerations  by  which  the  exceeding  hurtful  nature  of 
 those  notions  is  evident ;  but  he  had  not  strength  to  finish  his  let- 
 ter. 
 
 After  he  came  hither,  as  long  as  he  lived,  he  spoke  much  of 
 that  future  prosperity  of  Zion,  which  is  so  often  foretold  and 
 promised  in  the  scripture.  It  was  a  theme  upon  which  he  de- 
 lighted to  dwell;  and  his  mind  seemed  to  be  carried  forth  with 
 earnest  concern  about  it,  and  intense  desires,  that  religion  might 
 speedily  and  abundantly  revive  and  flourish.  Though  he  had  not 
 the  least  expectation  of  recovery,  yea,  the  nearer  death  advanced, 
 and  the  more  the  symptoms  of  its  approach  increased,  still  the  more 
 did  his  mind  seem  to  be  taken  up  with  this  subject.  He  told  me, 
 when  near  his  end,  that  "  he  never  in  all  his  life  had  his  mind  so 
 led  forth  in  desires  and  earnest  prayers  for  the  flourishing  of 
 Christ^  kingdom  on  earth,  as  since  he  was  brought  so  exceeding 
 low  at  Boston."  He  seemed  much  to  wonder,  that  there  appear- 
 ed no  more  of  a  disposition  in  ministers  and  people  to  pray  for  the 
 flourishing  of  religion  through  the  world  ;  that  so  little  a  part  of 
 their  jora^er^  was  generally  taken  up  about  it,  in  their  families, 
 and  elsewhere.  Particularly,  he  several  times  expressed  his 
 wonder,  that  there  appeared  no  more  forwardness  to  comply  with 
 the  proposal  lately  made,  in  a  Memorial  from  a  number  of  minis- 
 ters in  Scotland,  and  sent  over  into  America,  for  united  extraordi- 
 7iary  prayer,  among  Christ's  ministers  and  people,  for  the  coming 
 of  Christh  kingdom  :  and  sent  it  as  his  dying  advice  to  his  own 
 congregation,  that  they  should  practice  agreeably  to  that  propo- 
 sal.* 
 
 Though  he  was  constantly  exceeding  weak  ;  yet  there  appear- 
 '^d  in  him  a  continual  care  well  to  improve  time,  and  fill  it  up 
 with  something  that  might  be  profitable,  and  in  some  respect  for 
 the  glory  of  God  or  the  good  of  men  ;  either  profitable  conversa- 
 
 *  His  congreg^atioti,  since  this,  have  with  great  cheerfulness  and  unanimity  fall- 
 en in  with  this  advice,  and  have  practised  agreeably  to  the  proposal  from  Scotland  ; 
 and  have  at  times  appeared  with  uncommon  cngagedness  and  fervency  of  spirit  in 
 their  meetings  and  united  devotions,  pursuant  to  that  proposal.  Also  the  Presby- 
 teries of  New- York  and  New-Brunswick,  since  this,  have  with  one  consent,  fallen 
 in  with  the  proposal,  as  likewise  some  others  of  God's  people  in  those  parts. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  417 
 
 tion  ;  or  writing  letters  to  absent  friends  ;  or  noting  something 
 in  his  diary  ;  or  looking  over  his  former  writings,  correcting 
 them,  and  preparing  them  to  be  left  in  the  hands  of  others  at  his 
 death  ;  or  giving  some  directions  concerning  the  future  mauage- 
 ment  of  his  people  ;  or  employment  in  secret  devotions.  He 
 seemed  never  to  be  easy,  however  ill,  if  he  was  not  doing  some- 
 thing for  God,  or  in  his  service.  After  he  came  hither,  he  wrote 
 di  preface  to  a  diary  of  the  famous  Mr.  Shepard's,  in  those  pa- 
 pers before  mentioned,  lately  found  ;  having  been  much  urged 
 to  it  by  those  gentlemen  in  Boston  who  had  the  care  of  the  publi- 
 cation ;  which  diary,  with  his  preface^  has  since  been  published.* 
 
 In  his  diary  for  LorcPs  day,  Aug.  9,  he  speaks  of  longing  de- 
 sires after  death,  through  a  sense  of  the  excellency  of  a  state  of 
 perfection. — In  his  diary  for  Lord'^s  day,  Aug.  16.  he  speaks  of 
 his  having  so  much  refreshment  o(  soul  in  the  house  of  God,  that 
 it  seemed  also  to  refresh  his  body.  And  this  is  not  only  noted  in 
 his  diary,  but  was  very  observable  to  others  ;  it  was  very  appa- 
 rent, not  only,  that  his  mind  was  exhilerated  with  inward  conso- 
 lation but  also  that  his  animal  spirits  and  bodily  strength  seemed 
 to  be  remarkably  restored,  as  though  he  had  forgot  his  illness. — 
 But  this  was  the  last  time  that  ever  he  attended  pubhc  worship 
 on  the  Sabbath. 
 
 On  Tuesday  morning  that  week,  as  I  was  absent  on  a  journey, 
 he  prayed  with  my  family  ;  but  not  without  much  difficulty,  for 
 want  of  bodily  strength  ;  and  this  was  the  last  family-prayer  that 
 he  ever  made. — He  had  been  wont,  till  now,  frequentl}^  to  ride 
 out,  two  or  three  miles  :  but  this  week,  on  Thursday,  was  the 
 last  time  he  ever  did  so. 
 
 Lord'^s  day,  Aug,  23.  "  This  morning,  I  was  considerably  re- 
 freshed with  the  thought,  yea,  the  hope  and  expectation  of  the 
 enlargement  ofChrisl'^s  kingdom;  and  1  could  not  but  hope,  that 
 the  time  was  at  hand,  when  Babylon  the  great  would /«//,  and 
 rise  no  more.  This  led  me  to  some  spiritual  meditations,  which 
 were  very  refreshing  to  me.  I  was  unable  to  attend  public  wor- 
 ship, either  part  of  the  day  ;  but  God  was  pleased  to  atford  me 
 fixedness  and  satisfaction  in  divine  thoughts.  Nothing  so  refresh- 
 es my  soul,  as  when  I  caii  go  to  God,  yea,  to  God  my  exceeding 
 joy.  When  he  is  so  sensibly,  to  my  soul,  O  how  unspeakably 
 delightful  is  this  ! 
 
 "  In  the  week  past,  I  had  divers  turns  of  inward  refreshing; 
 though  my  body   was   inexpressibly  weak,  followed  continually 
 
 *  *  A  p^n  of  this  preface  is  inserted  in  the  Reflections  a\\  these  Memoirs,  in  a  sub- 
 sequent  part  of  this  volume, 
 
 53 
 
413  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 with  agues  and  fevers.  Sometimes  my  soul  centred  in  God,  as 
 my  only  portion;  and  I  felt  that  I  should  be  for  ever  unhappy,  if 
 He  did  not  reigti.  I  saw  the  sweetness  and  happiness  of  being  his 
 subject,  at  Az5  disposal.  This  made  all  my  difficulties  quickly 
 vanish. 
 
 "  From  this  Lordh  day,  viz.  Aug.  23.  I  was  troubled  very 
 much  w'\ih  vapoury  disorders,  and  could  neither  write  nor  read, 
 and  could  scarcely  live  ;  although  through  mercy,  was  not  so 
 much  oppressed  with  heavy  melancholy  and  gloominess,  as  at 
 many  other  times." 
 
 Till  this  week,  he  had  been  wont  to  lodge  in  a  room  above 
 stairs  ;  but  he  now  grew  so  weak,  that  he  was  no  longer  able  to 
 go  up  stairs  and  down.  Friday^  Aug.  28,  was  the  last  time  he 
 ever  went  above  stairs,  henceforward  he  betook  himself  to  a  low- 
 er room. 
 
 On  Wednesday^  Sept,  2,  being  the  day  of  our  public  lecture, 
 he  seemed  to  be  refreshed  with  seeing  the  neighbouring  ministers 
 who  came  hither  to  the  lecture,  and  expressed  a  great  desire 
 once  more  to  go  to  the  house  of  God  on  that  day  :  and  according- 
 ly rode  to  the  meeting,  and  attended  divine  service,  while  the 
 Reverend  Mr.  Woodbridge,  ofHattield,  preached.  He  signified 
 that  he  supposed  it  to  be  the  last  time  he  should  ever  attend  pub- 
 lic worship  ;  as  it  proved.  Indeed  it  was  the  last  time  that  he 
 ever  went  out  of  our  gate  alive. 
 
 On  the  Saturday  evening  next  following,  he  was  unexpectedly 
 visited  by  his  brother,  Mr.  John  Brainerd,  who  came  to  see  him 
 from  New-Jersey.  He  was  much  refreshed  by  this  unexpected 
 visit  ;  this  brother  being  peculiarly  dear  to  him  ;'  and  he  seemed 
 to  rejoice  in  a  devout  and  solemn  manner,  to  see  him,  and  to 
 hear  the  comfortable  tidings  which  he  brought  concerning  the 
 state  of  his  dear  congregation  of  Christian  Indians.  A  circum- 
 stance of  this  visit,  of  which  he  was  exceedingly  glad,  was,  that 
 his  brother  brought  him  some  of  \\h  private  writings  from  New- 
 Jersey,  and  particularly  his  diary  which  he  had  kept  for  many 
 years  past. 
 
 '  Lord'^s  day,  Sept,  6.  "  I  began  to  read  some  of  my  private  wri- 
 tings, which  my  brother  brought  me  ;  and  was  considerably  re- 
 freshed with  what  I  found  in  them. 
 
 Sept,  7.  "  1  proceeded  further  in  reading  my  old  private  wri- 
 tings, and  found  that  they  had  the  same  effect  upon  me  as  before. 
 I  could  not  but  rejoice  and  bless  God  for  what  passed  long  ago,, 
 which  without  writing  had  been  entirely  lost. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINEKD.  419 
 
 *'  This  evening,  when  I  was  in  great  distress  of  body,  my  soul 
 lonj^ed  that  God  should  be  glorified  :  I  saw  there  was  no  charac- 
 ter but  this.  I  could  not  but  speak  to  the  by-standers  then  of  the 
 oi  ly  happiness,  \iz.  pleasing  God.  O  that  I  could  for  ever  live 
 t€  God  !  The  day,  I  trust,  is  at  hand,  the  perfect  day.  O  the 
 daij  of  dtliv  trance  from  all  sin  ! 
 
 LorcPs  day^  Sept.  13.  '*  I  was  much  refreshed  and  engaged  in 
 meditation  and  writing,  and  found  a  heart  to  act  for  God.  My 
 spirits  were  refreshed,  and  my  soul  delighted  to  do  something  for 
 God."  . 
 
 On  the  evening  following  that  Lord's  day,  his  feet  began  to 
 appear  sensibly  swelled  ;  which  thenceforward  swelled  more  and 
 more.  A  symptom  of  his  dissolution  coming  on.  The  next  day, 
 his  brother  John  left  him,  being  obliged  to  return  to  New-Jersey 
 on  some  business  of  great  importance  and  necessity  4  intending 
 to  return  again  with  all  possible  speed,  hoping  to  see  his  brother 
 yet  once  more  in  the  land  of  the  living. 
 
 Brainerd  having  now,  with  much  deliberation,  considered  of 
 the  important  affair  before  mentioned,  which  was  referred  to  him 
 by  the  honourable  commissioners  in  Boston,  of  the  corporation 
 in  London  for  the  propagation  of  the  gospel  in  New-England, 
 and  parts  adjacent,  viz.  the  fixing  upon  and  recommending  of  two 
 persons  proper  to  be  employed  as  missionaries  to  the  Six  Na- 
 tions ;  about  this  time  wrote  a  letter,  recommending  two  young 
 gentlemen  of  his  acquaintance  to  those  commissioners,  viz.  Mr. 
 Elihu  Spencer  of  East-Haddam,  and  Mr.  Job  Strong  of  North- 
 ampton. The  commissioners  on  the  receipt  of  this  letter,  cheer- 
 fully and  unanimously  agreed  to  accept  of  and  employ  the  per- 
 sons whom  he  had  recommended.  They  accordingly  since  have 
 waited  on  the  commissioners  to  receive  their  instructions  ;  and 
 pursuant  to  these  have  applied  themselves  to  a  preparation  for 
 the  business  of  their  mission.  One  of  them,  Mr.  Spencer,  has 
 been  solemnly  ordained  to  that  work,  by  several  of  the  ministers 
 of  Boston,  in  the  presence  of  an  ecclesiastical  council  convened 
 for  that  purpose  ;  and  is  now  gone  forth  to  the  nation  of  Oneidas, 
 about  a  hundred  and  seventy  miles  beyond  Albany. 
 
 On  Wednesday^  Sept.  AQ,  he  wrote  a  letter  to  a  gentleman  in 
 Boston,  (one  of  those  charitable  persons  beforementioned,  who 
 appeared  so  forward  to  contribute  of  their  substance  for  promo-- 
 ting  Christianity  among  the  Indians)  relating  to  the  growth  of  the 
 Indian  school,  and  the  need  of  another  schoolmaster,  or  some  per- 
 son to  assist  the  schoolmaster  in  instructing  the  Indian  children. 
 These  gentlemen,  on  the  receipt  of  this  letter,  had  a  meeting, 
 and  agreed  with  great  cheerfulness  to  give  £200  (in  bills  oi  the 
 
420  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 old  tenor)  for  the  support  of  another  schoohnaster ;  and  desired 
 the  Rev.  Mr,  Peinberton  of  New- York,  (who  was  then  at  Boston, 
 and  was  also,  at  their  desire,  present  at  their  meeting,)  as  soon  as 
 possible  to  procure  a  suitable  person  for  that  service;  and  also 
 agreed  to  allow  £74  to  defray  some  special  charges  which  were 
 requisite  to  encourage  the  mission  to  the  Six  Nations,  [besides 
 the  salary  allowed  by  the  commissioners]  which  was  also  done  on 
 some  intimations  given  by  Braixerd. 
 
 Brainerd  spent  himself  much  in  writing  those  letters,  being 
 exceedingly  weak  ;  but  it  seemed  to  be  much  to  his  satisfaction, 
 that  he  had  been  enabled  to  do  it;  hoping  that  it  was  something 
 done  for  God,  and  which  might  be  for  the  advancement  of 
 Christ's  kingdom  and  glory.  In  writing  the  last  of  these  letters, 
 he  was  obliged  to  use  the  hand  of  another,  not  being  able  to  write 
 himself. 
 
 On  the  Thursday  of  this  week  (Sept.  17,)  was  the  last  time 
 that  ever  he  went  out  of  his  lodging  room.  That  day,  he  was 
 again  visited  by  his  brother  Israel,  who  continued  with  him  thence- 
 forward till  his  death.  On  that  evening  he  was  taken  with  some- 
 thing of  a  diarrhea^  which  he  looked  upon  as  another  sign  of  his 
 approaching  death;  whereupon  he  expressed  himself  thus;  ''Oh, 
 the  glorious  time  is  now  coming!  I  have  longed  to  serve  God 
 perfectly:  now  God  will  gratify  those  desires  !"  And  from  time, 
 to  time,  at  Ihe  several  steps  and  new  symptoms  of  the  sensible 
 approach  of  his  dissolution,  he  was  so  far  from  being  sunk  or 
 damped,  that  he  seemed  to  he  animated,  and  made  more  cheer- 
 ful; as  being  glad  at  the  appearance  of  (/e«f/t'5  approach.  He 
 often  used  the  epithet,  glorious,  when  speaking  of  the  day  of  his 
 death,  calling  it  i\\dii  glorious  day.  And  as  he  saw  his  dissolution 
 gradually  approaching,  he  talked  much  about  it;  and  with  per- 
 fect calmness  spoke  of  a  future  state.  He  also  settled  all  his  af- 
 fairs, giving  directions  very  particularly  and  minutely,  concerning 
 what  he  would  have  done  in  one  respect  and  another  after  his 
 decease.  And  the  nearer  death  approached,  the  more  desirous 
 he  seemed  to  be  of  it.  He  several  times  spoke  of  the  different 
 kinds  of  zvillingncss  to  die;  and  represented  it  as  an  ignoble, 
 mean  kind,  to  be  willing  to  leave  the  body,  only  to  get  rid  of 
 pain  ;  or  to  go  to  heaven,  only  to  get  honour  and  advancement 
 there. 
 
 Sept,  19.  "  Near  night,  while  I  attempted  to  walk  a  little,  my 
 thoughts  turned  thus  ;  "  How  infinitely  sweet  it  is,  to  love  God, 
 and  be  all  for  him  !"  Upon  which  it  was  suggested  to  me,  "  You 
 are  not  an  angel,  not  lively  and  active."  To  which  my  whole 
 soul  immediately  replied,  ''I  as  sincerely  desire  to  love  and  glo- 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  421 
 
 rify  God,  as  any  s.n^e\  in  heaven."  Upon  which  it  was  suggest- 
 ed agairj,  "  But  you  are  filthy,  not  fit  for  heaven."  Hereupon 
 instantly  appeared  the  blessed  roijes  of  Christ's  righteousness,  in 
 which  r  could  not  but  exult  and  triumph  ;  and  I  viewed  the  infi- 
 nite excellency  of  God,  and  my  soul  even  broke  with  longings, 
 that  God  should  be  glorified.  1  thought  of  dignity  in  heaven  ;  but 
 instantly  the  thought  returned,  ''  I  do  not  go  to  heaven  to  get 
 honour,  but  to  give  all  possible  glory  and  praise."  O  how  I 
 longed  that  God  should  be  glorified  on  earth  also !  O I  was  made — 
 for  eternity, — if  God  might  be  gloriiied  !  Bodih/  pains  I  cared  !>ot 
 for;  though  I  was  then  in  extremity,  I  never  felt  easier.  I  felt 
 willing  to  glorify  God  in  that  state  of  bodily  distress,  as  long  as 
 he  pleased  I  should  continue  in  it.  The  gmi?e  appeared  really 
 sweet,  and  I  longed  to  lodge  my  weary  bones  in  it:  but  Oh,  that 
 God  might  be  glorified  !  this  was  the  burden  of  all  my  cry.  O  I 
 knew  that  I  should  be  active  as  an  angel,  in  heaven  ;  and  thit  I 
 should  be  stripped  of  my  filthy  garments  f  so  that  there  was  no 
 objection.  But,  O  to  love  and  praise  God  more,  to  please  him 
 forever!  this  my  soul  panted  after,  and  even  now  pants  foi-  while 
 I  write.  Oh  that  God  might  be  glorified  in  the  whole  earth! 
 "Lord  let  thy  kingdom  come."  I  longed  for  a  spirit  of  preach- 
 ing to  descend  and  rest  on  rninisters,  that  they  migiit  address  the 
 consciences  of  men  with  closeness  and  power.  1  saw  that  God 
 "  had  the  residue  of  the  Spirit ;  and  my  soul  longed  that  it  should 
 be  "poured  from  on  high."  I  could  not  but  plead  with  God  for 
 my  dear  congregation,  that  he  would  preserve  it,  and  not  suffer 
 his  great  name  to  lose  its  glory  in  that  work;  my  soul  still  long- 
 ing,  that  God  might  be  glorified. ^\ 
 
 The  extraordinary  frame  he  was  in,  that  evening,  could  not  be 
 hid.  "  His  mouth  spake  out  of  the  abundance  of  his  heart,"  ex- 
 pressing in  a  very  affecting  manner  much  the  same  thin;rs  as  are 
 written  in  his  diary.  Among  very  many  other  extiaordinary  ex- 
 pressions, which  he  then  uttered,  were  such  as  these  : — "  My 
 heaven  is  Xo  please  God,  and  glorify  him,  and  to  give  all  to  him, 
 and  to  be  wholly  devoted  to  his  glory  :  that  is  the  heaven  I  long 
 for;  that  is  my  religion,  and  that  is  my  happiness,  and  always  was 
 ever  since  I  suppose  I  had  any  true  religion  ;  and  all  those  that 
 are  of  that  religion  shall  meet  me  in  heaven.  I  do  not  go  to 
 heaven  to  be  advanced,  but  to  give  honour  to  God.  It  is  no  mat- 
 ter where  I  shall  be  stationed  in  heaven,  whether  1  have  a  high  or 
 low  seat  there  ;  but  to  love,  and  please,  and  glorify  God  is  all. — 
 Had  I  a  thousand  souls,  if  they  were  worth  any  thing,  I  would 
 give  them  all  to  God ;  but  I  have  nothing  to  give,  when  all  is 
 done. — It  is  impossible  for   any  rational   creature  to  be  happy 
 
422  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 without  acting  all /or  God  :  God  himself  could  not  make  him  hap- 
 py any  other  way.  1  long  to  be  in  heaven,  praising  and  glorify- 
 ing God  with  the  holy  angels  ;  all  my  desire  is  to  glorify  God. — 
 My  heart  goes  out  to  the  burying  place  ;  it  seems  to  me  a  desira- 
 ble place  :  but  O  to  glorify  God  !  that  is  it ;  that  is  above  all. — It 
 is  a  great  comfort  to  me,  to  think,  that  1  have  done  a  little  for  God 
 in  the  world  :  Oh  !  it  is  but  a  very  small  matter;  yet  I  have  done 
 a  little-,  and  I  lament  it,  that  I  have  not  done  more  for  him. — 
 There  is  nothing  in  the  world  worth  living  for,  but  doing  good, 
 2ind  finishing  God^s  work,  doing  the  work  that  Christ  did.  I  see 
 nothing  else  in  the  world,  that  can  yield  any  satisfaction,  besides 
 living  to  God,  pleasing  him,  and  doing  his  whole  will. — My  great- 
 est joy  and  comfort  has  been,  to  do  something  for  promoting  the 
 interest  of  religion,  and  the  souls  of  particular  persons  :  and  }iow, 
 in  my  illness,  while  I  am  full  of  pain  and  distress,  from  day  to 
 day,  all  the  comfort  I  have,  is  in  being  able  to  do  some  little  ser- 
 vice/or God,  either  by  something  that  I  say,  or  by  writing,  or  in 
 some  other  way." 
 
 He  intermingled  with  these  and  other  like  expressions,  many 
 pathetical  counsels  to  those  who  were  about  him  ;  particularly  to 
 my  children  and  servants.  He  applied  himself  to  some  of  my 
 younger  children  at  this  time;  calling  them  to  him,  and  speaking 
 to  them  one  by  one;  setting  before  them,  in  a  very  plain  manner, 
 the  nature  and  essence  of  true  piety,  and  its  great  importance  and 
 necessity  ;  earnestly  warning  them  not  to  rest  in  any  thing  short  of 
 a  true  and  thorough  change  of  heart,  and  a  life  devoted  to  God. — 
 He  counselled  them  not  to  be  slack  in  the  great  business  of  re- 
 ligion, nor  in  the  least  to  delay  it;  enforcing  his  counsels  with 
 this,  that  his  words  were  the  words  of  a  dying  man:  said  he,  "  I 
 shall  die  here,  and  here  I  shall  be  buried,  and  here  you  will  see 
 my  grave,  and  do  you  remember  what  I  have  said  to  you.  I  am 
 going  into  eternity  :  and  it  is  sweet  for  me  to  think  of  eternity  : 
 the  endlessness  of  it  makes  it  sweet:  but  O  what  shall  1  say  to  the 
 eternity  of  the  wicked  !  I  cannot  mention  it,  nor  think  of  it;  the 
 thought  is  too  dreadful.  When  you  see  my  grave,  then  remem- 
 ber what  I  said  to  you  while  I  was  alive ;  then  think  with  your- 
 self, how  the  man  who  lies  in  that  grave,  counselled  and  warned 
 me  to  prepare  for  death." 
 
 His  body  seemed  to  be  marvellously  strengthened,  through  the 
 inward  vigour  and  refreshment  of  his  mind;  so  that,  although  be- 
 fore he  was  so  weak  that  he  could  hardly  utter  a  sentence,  yet 
 now  he  continued  his  most  affecting  and  profitable  discourse  to  us 
 for  more  than  an  hour,  with  scarce  any  intermission  ;  and  said  of 
 it,  when  he  had  done,  *'it  was  the  last  sermon  that  ever  he  should 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  423 
 
 preach." — This  extraordinary  frame  of  mind  continued  the  next 
 day ;  of  which  he  says  in  his  diary  as  follows. 
 
 Lord's  day,  Sept.  20.  '*  Was  still  in  a  sweet  and  comfortable 
 frame  :  and  was  again  melted  with  desires  that  God  might  be  glo- 
 rijied,  and  with  longings  to  love  and  live  to  him.  Longed  for  the 
 influences  of  the  divine  Spirit  to  descend  on  ministers,  in  a  special 
 manner.  And  O  I  longed  to  be  ivith  God,  to  behold  his  glory, 
 and  to  bow  in  his  presence  I" 
 
 It  appears  by  what  is  noted  in  his  diary,  both  of  this  day  and  the 
 evening  preceding,  that  his  mind  at  this  time  was  much  impressed 
 with  a  sense  of  the  importance  of  the  work  o(  the  ministry,  and  the 
 need  of  the  grace  of  God,  and  his  special  spiritual  assistance  in  this 
 work.  It  also  appeared  in  what  he  expressed  in  conversation  :  par- 
 ticularly in  his  discourse  to  his  brother  Israel,  who  was  then  a 
 member  of  Yale-College  at  New-Haven,  prosecuting  his  studies 
 for  the  work  of  the  ministry.*  He  now,  and  from  time  to  time,  in 
 this  his  dying  state,  recommended  to  his  brother  a  life  of  self- 
 denial,  of  weanedness  from  the  world,  and  devotedness  to  God, 
 and  an  earnest  endeavour  to  obtain  much  of  the  grace  of  God's 
 Spirit,  and  God's  gracious  influences  on  his  heart;  representing 
 the  great  need  which  ministers  stand  in  of  them,  and  the  unspeak- 
 able benefit  of  them  from  his  own  experience.  Among  many 
 other  expressions,  he  said  thus  : — "  When  ministers  feel  these 
 special  gracious  influences  on  their  hearts,  it  wonderfully  assists 
 them  to  come  at  the  consciences  of  men,  and  as  it  were  to  handle 
 them  ;  whereas,  without  them,  whatever  reason  and  oratory  we 
 make  use  of,  we  do  but  make  use  of  stumps,  instead  oi hands,''"' 
 
 Sept. 2i'  "I  began  to  correct  a  little  volume  of  my  private 
 writings.  God,  I  believe,  remarkably  helped  me  in  it;  my  strength 
 was  surprisingly  lengthened  out,  my  thoughts  were  quick  and  live- 
 ly, and  my  soul  refreshed,  hoping  it  might  be  a  work  for  God. — 
 O  how  good,  how  sweet  it  is  to  labour  for  God ! 
 
 Sept.  22.  "  Was  again  employed  in  reading  and  correcting, 
 and  had  the  same  success,  as  the  day  before.  I  was  exceeding 
 weak;  but  it  seemed  to  refresh  my  soul,  thus  to  spend  time. 
 
 *This  young  gentleman  was  an  ingenious,  serious,  studious,  and  hopefully  pious 
 person:  there  appeared  in  him  many  qualities  giving  hope  of  his  being  a  great 
 blessing  in  his  day.  But  it  has  pleased  God,  since  the  death  of  his  brother,  to  take 
 him  away  r-lso.  He  died  that  winter,  at  New-Haveu  January  6,  1748,  oia  nervous 
 fever,  after  about  a  fortnight's  illness. 
 
454  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 Sept.  23.  "  I  finished  my  corrections  of  the  little  piece  before- 
 mentioned,  and  felt  uncommonly  peaceful  :  it  seemed  as  if  I  had 
 now  done  all  my  work  in  this  world,  and  stood  ready  for  my  call 
 to  a  better.  As  long  as  I  see  any  thing  to  be  done  for  God,  life 
 is  worth  having  :  but  O,  how  vain  and  unworthy  it  is,  to  live  for 
 any  lower  end  !— This  day,  I  indited  a  letter,  I  think,  of  great 
 importance,  to  the  Rev.  Mr.  Byram  in  New-Jersey.  Oh  that 
 God  would  bless  and  succeed  that  letter,  which  was  written  for 
 the  benefit  of  his  church  !*  Oh  that  God  would  purify  the  sons 
 of  Levi,  that  his  glory  may  be  advanced  ! This  night,  1  en- 
 dured a  dreadful  turn,  wherein  my  life  was  expected  scarce  an 
 hour  or  minute  together.  But  blessed  be  God,  I  have  enjoyed 
 considerable  sweetness  in  divine  things,  this  week,  both  by  night 
 and  day. 
 
 Sept.  24.  "  My  strength  began  to  fail  exceedingly  ;  which 
 looked  further  as  if  I  had  done  all  my  work:  however,  I  had 
 strength  to  fold  and  superscribe  my  letter.  About  two  I  went  to 
 bed,  being  weak  and  much  disordered,  and  lay  in  a  burning  fever 
 till  night,  without  any  proper  rest.  In  the  evening,  I  got  up,  hav- 
 ing lain  down  in  some  of  my  clothes;  but  was  in  the  greatest  dis- 
 tress, that  ever  I  endured,  having  an  uncommon  kind  of  hiccough; 
 which  either  strangled  me,  or  threw  me  into  a  straining  to  vomit ; 
 and  at  the  same  time  was  distressed  with  griping  pains.  O  the 
 distress  of  this  evening  !  I  had  little  expectation  of  my  living  the 
 night  through,   nor  indeed    had  any  about  me  :  and  I   longed  for 
 
 the  finishing  moment  ! J    was  obliged  to   repair  to  bed  by  six 
 
 o'clock;  and  through  mercy  enjoyed  some  rest;  but  was  griev- 
 ously distressed  at  turns  with  the  hiccough. My  soul  breathed 
 
 after  God, — "  When  shall  I  come  to  God,  even  to  God,  my  ex- 
 ceeding joy  .^"     Oh  for  his  blessed  likeness  ! 
 
 Sept.  25.  "  This  day,  I  was  unspeakably  weak,  and  little 
 better  than  speechless  all  the  day  ;  however,  I  was  able  to  write  a 
 little,  and  felt  comfortably  in  some  part  of  the  day.  O  it  refresh- 
 ed my  soul,  to  think  of  former  things,  of  desires  to  glorify  God, 
 of  the  pleasures  of  living  to  him  !  O,  blessed  God.  I  am  speed- 
 ily coming  to  thee,  I  hope.  Hasten  the  day,  O  Lord,  if  it  be 
 thy  blessed  will,   O  come.  Lord  Jesus,  come  quickly.     Amen.\ 
 
 Sipt.  26.  '•!  felt  the  sweetness  of  divine  things,  this  forenoon; 
 and  had  the  consolation  of  a  consciousness  that  I  was  doing  some- 
 thing for  God. 
 
 *  It  Tvas  concerning^  the  qualifications  oi"  ministers,  and  the  examination  and  li- 
 censini^of  candidates  lor  the  work  of  the  ministry. 
 
 t  This  WHS  the  hist  time  that  ever  he  wrote  in  his  Diary  with  his  own  hand  ! 
 thoujjh  it  is  continued  a  little  farther,  in  a  broken  manner ;  written  by  his  brother; 
 }>»rael,  but  indited  bv  his  mouth  in  this  hi?  weak  anddvins:  stat'v 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAIiNEHD.  425 
 
 Lord's  day,  Sept.  27.  ''This  was  a  very  comfoctable  day  to  my 
 soul ;  I  think,  1  awoke  with  God,  I  was  enabled  to  lift  up  my  soul 
 to  God,  early  this  morning;  and  while  I  had  little  bodily  strength, 
 I  found  freedom  to  lift  up  my  heart  to  God  for  myself  and  others. 
 Afterwards,  was  pleased  with  the  thoughts  of  speedily  entering  in- 
 10  the  unseen  world." 
 
 Early  this  morning,  as  one  of  the  family  came  into  the  room, 
 he  expressed  himself  thus  :  "I  have  had  more  pleasure  this  morn- 
 ing, than  all  the  drunkards  in  the  world  enjoy." So  much  did 
 
 he  esteem  the  joy  of  faith  above  the  pleasures  of  sin. — He  felt 
 that  morning,  an  unusual  appetite  to  food,  with  which  his  mind 
 seemed  to  be  exhilarated,  looking  on  it  as  a  sign  of  the  very  near 
 approach  of  death.  At  this  time  he  also  said,  "I  was  born  on  a 
 Sabbath-day;  and  I  have  reason  to  think  I  was  new-born  on  a 
 Sabbath-day;  and  I  hope  I  shall  die  on  this  Sabbath-day.  I  shall 
 look  upon  it  as  a  favour,  if  it  may  be  the  will  of  God  that  it  should 
 be  so  :  I  long  for  the  time.  O,  ivhy  is  his  chariot  so  long  in  com- 
 ing ?  why  tarry  the  wheels  of  his  chariot  ?  I  am  very  willing  to 
 part  with  all :  1  am  willing  to  part  with  my  dear  brother  John,  and 
 never  to  see  him  again,  to  go  to  be  for  ever  with  the  Lord.*  O, 
 when  I  go  there,  how  will  God's  dear  church  on  earth  be  upon 
 my  mind  !" 
 
 Afterwards,  the  same  morning,  being  asked  how  he  did,  he 
 answered,  "  I  am  almost  in  eternity ;  I  long  to  be  there.  My 
 work  is  done  ;  I  have  done  with  all  my  friends  ;  all  the  world  is 
 nothing  to  me.  I  long  to  be  in  heaven,  praising  and  glorifying 
 God  with  the  holy  angels.     All  my  desire  is  to  glorify  God. 
 
 During  the  whole  of  these  last  two  weeks  of  his  life,  he  seem- 
 ed to  continue  in  this  frame  of  heart ;  loose  from  all  the  world,  as 
 having  finished  his  work,  and  done  with  all  things  here  below. 
 He  had  now  nothing  to  do  but  to  die,  and  to  abide  in  an  earnest 
 desire  and  expectation  of  the  happy  moment,  when  his  soul 
 should  take  its  flight,  to  a  state  of  perfect  holiness,  in  which  he 
 should  be  found  perfectly  glorifying  and  enjoying  God.  He  said, 
 "  That  the  consideration  of  the  day  of  death,  and  the  day  of 
 judgment,  had  a  long  time  been  peculiarly  sweet  to  him."  From 
 time  to  time  he  spake  of  his  being  willing  to  leave  the  body  and 
 the  world   immediately,  that  day,   that  night,  that   moment,   if  it 
 
 *  He  had,  before  this,  expressed  a  desire,  if  it  might  be  the  will  of  God,  to  live 
 till  his  brother  returned  from  New-Jersey  :  who,  when  he  went  away,  intended,  il 
 possible,  to  perform  his  journey,  and  return  in  a  fortnight ;  hoping  once  more  to 
 meet  his  brother  in  the  land  of  the  living.  The  fortnight  was  now  near  expired,  it 
 ^nded  the  next  day, 
 
 54 
 
426  MExMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 was  the  will  of  God.  He  also  was  much  engaged  in  expressing 
 his  longings  that  the  church  of  Christ  on  earth  might  flourish,  and 
 Christ's  kingdom  here  might  be  advanced,  notwithstanding  he 
 was  about  to  leave  the  earth,  and  should  not  with  his  eyes  behold 
 the  desirable  event,  nor  be  instrumental  in  promoting  it.  He  said 
 to  me,  one  morning,  as  I  came  into  his  room,  "  My  thoughts  have 
 been  employed  on  the  old  dear  theme,  the  prosperity  of  God's 
 church  on  earth.  As  I  waked  out  of  sleep,  I  was  led  to  cry  for 
 the  pouring  out  of  God's  Spirit,  and  the  advancement  of  Christ's 
 kingdom,  for  which  the  Redeemer  did  and  suffered  so  much. 
 It  is  that  especially  which  makes  me  long  for  it." — He  expressed 
 much  hope  that  a  glorious  advancement  of  Christ's  kingdom  was 
 near  at  hand. 
 
 He  once  told  me,  that  "  he  had  formerly  longed  for  the  out- 
 pouring of  the  Spirit  of  God,  and  the  glorious  times  of  the 
 church,  and  hoped  they  were  coming ;  and  should  have  been 
 wilhng  to  have  lived  to  promote  religion  at  that  time,  if  that  had 
 been  the  will  of  God ;  but,  says  he,  I  am  willing  it  should  be  as 
 it  is;  I  would  not  have  the  choice  to  make  for  myself,  for  ten 
 thousand  worlds."  He  expressed  on  his  death-bed  a  full  persua- 
 sion that  be  should  in  heaven  see  the  prosperity  of  the  church  on 
 earth,  and  should  rejoice  with  Christ  therein ;  and  the  consid- 
 eration of  it  seemed  to  be  highly  pleasing  and  satisfying  to  his 
 mind. 
 
 He  also  still  dwelt  much  on  the  great  importance  of  the  work 
 of  gospel  ministers  ^  and  expressed  his  longings,  that  they  might 
 hejilled  with  the  Spirit  of  God,  He  manifested  much  desire  to  see 
 some  of  the  neighbouring  ministers,  with  whom  he  had  some  ac- 
 quaintance, and  of  whose  sincere  friendship  he  was  confident,  that 
 he  might  converse  freely  with  (hem  on  that  subject,  before  he 
 died.  And  it  so  happened,  that  he  had  opportunity  with  some  of 
 them  according  to  his  desire. 
 
 ^  Another  thing  that  lay  much  on  his  heart,  from  time  to  time, 
 in  these  near  approaches  of  death,  was  the  spiritual  prosperity  of 
 his  own  congregation  of  Christian  Indians  in  New-Jersey:  and 
 when  he  spake  of  them,  it  was  with  peculiar  tenderness  ;  so  that 
 his  speech  would  be  presently  interrupted  and  drowned  with 
 tears. 
 
 He  also  expressed  much  satisfaction  in  the  disposals  of  Provi- 
 dence, with  regard  to  the  circumstances  of  his  death  ;  particular- 
 ly that  God  had  before  his  death  given  him  an  opportunity  in  Bos- 
 ton, with  so  many  considerable  persons,  ministers  and  others,  to 
 give  in  his  testimony  for  God  against  false  religion,  and  many  mis- 
 takes that  lead  to  it,  and  promote  it.  He  was  much  pleased  that 
 he  had    an   opportunity  there  to  lay  before  pious  and  charitable 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BKAINERD.  427 
 
 gentlemen  the  state  of  the  Indians,  and  their  necessities,  to  so 
 good  effect ;  and  that  God  had  since  enabled  him  to  write  to  them 
 further  concerning  these  affairs  ;  and  to  write  other  letters  of  im- 
 portance, which  he  hoped  might  be  of  good  influence  with  regard 
 to  the  state  of  religion  among  the  Indians,  and  elsewhere,  after 
 his  death.  He  expressed  great  thankfulness  to  God  for  his  mercy 
 in  these  things.  He  also  mentioned  it  as  what  he  accounted  a 
 merciful  circumstance  of  his  death,  that  he  should  die  here.  When 
 he  was  sick  at  Boston,  nigh  unto  death,  it  was  with  reluctance  he 
 thought  of  dying  in  a  place  w\\q\:q  funerals  are  often  attended  with 
 a  pomp  and  shojo,  to  any  appearance  of  which  he  was  very  averse  : 
 and  though  it  was  with  some  difficulty  he  got  his  mind  reconciled 
 to  the  prospect  then  before  him,  yet  at  last  he  was  brought  to  ac- 
 quiesce in  the  divine  will,  with  respect  to  this  circumstance  of  his 
 departure.  However,  it  pleased  God  to  order  the  event  so  as  to 
 gratify  his  desire,  which  he  had  expressed,  of  getting  back  to  North- 
 ampton, with  a  view  particularly  to  a  more  silent  and  private 
 burial.  And  speaking  of  these  things,  he  said,  "  God  had  grant- 
 ed him  all  his  desire  ;"  and  signilicd,  that  now  he  could  with  the 
 greater  alacrity  leave  the  world. 
 
 Sept,  28.  "  I  was  able  to  read,  and  make  some  few  corrections 
 in  my  private  writings  ;  but  found  I  could  not  write,  as  I  had 
 done  ;  I  found  myself  sensibly  declined  in  all  respects.  It  has 
 been  only  from  a  little  while  before  noon,  till  about  one  or  two 
 o'clock,  that  I  have  been  able  to  do  any  thing  for  some  time  past : 
 yet  this  refreshed  my  heart,  that  I  could  do  any  thing  either  pub- 
 lic or  private,  that  I  hoped  was  for  God." 
 
 This  evening,  he  was  supposed  to  be  dying.  He  thought  so 
 himself,  and  was  thought  so  by  those  who  were  about  him.  He 
 seemed  glad  at  the  appearance  of  the  near  approach  of  death. 
 He  was  almost  speechless,  but  his  lips  appeared  to  move  :  and 
 one  that  sat  very  near  him,  heard  him  utter  such  expressions  as 
 these,  "  Come,  Lord  Jesus,  come  quickly. — O  why  is  his  chariot 
 so  long  in  coming." — After  he  revived,  he  blamed  himself  for 
 having  been  too  eager  to  be  gone.  And  in  expressing  what  he 
 found  in  the  frame  of  his  mind  at  that  time,  he  said,  he  then 
 found  an  inexpressiby  sweet  love  to  those  whom  he  looked  upon 
 as  belonging  to  Christ,  beyond  almost  all  that  ever  he  felt  before  ; 
 so  that  it  "seemed,  to  use  his  own  words,  like  a  little  piece  of 
 heaven  to  have  one  of  them  near  him."  And  being  asked,  wheth- 
 er he  heard  the  prayer  that  was,  at  his  desire,  made  with  him  ; 
 he  said,  "  Yes,  he  heard  every  word,  and   had   an  uncommon 
 
128  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 sense  of  the   things  that  were  uttered   in  that  prajer,  and  that 
 every  word  reached  his  heart." 
 
 On  the  evening  of  Tuesday^  Sept,  29,  as  he  Jay  on  his  bed,  he 
 seemed  to  be  in  an  extraordinary  frame  ;  his  mind  greatly  en- 
 gaged in  sweet  meditations  concerning  the  prosperity  of  Zion. 
 There  being  present  here  at  that  time  two  young  gentlemen  of 
 his  acquaintance,  who  were  candidates  for  the  ministry,  he  de- 
 sired us  all  to  unite  in  singing  a  Psalm  on  that  subject,  even 
 Zion's  prosperity.  And  on  his  desire  we  sung  a  part  of  the  ciid 
 Psalm.  This  seemed  much  to  refresh  and  revive  him,  and  gave 
 him  new  strength  ;  so  that,  though  before  he  could  scarcely 
 speak  at  all,  now  he  proceeded,  with  some  freedom  of  speech, 
 to  give  his  dying  counsels  to  those  two  young  gentlemen  before- 
 mentioned,  relating  to  their  preparation  hr,  and  prosecution  of, 
 that  great  work  of  the  ministry  for  which  they  were  designed  ; 
 and  in  particular,  earnestly  recommended  to  them  frequent  secret 
 fasting  and  prayer  :  and  enforced  his  counsel  with  regard  to  this, 
 from  his  own  experience  of  the  great  comfort  and  benefit  of  it  ; 
 which,  said  he,  1  should  not  mention,  were  it  not  that  I  am  a 
 dying  person.  After  he  had  finished  his  counsel,  he  made  a 
 prayer,  in  the  audience  of  us  all  ;  wherein,  besides  praying  for 
 this  family,  for  his  brethren,  and  those  candidates  for  the  minis- 
 try, and  foi*  his  own  congregation,  he  earnestly  prayed  for  the 
 reviving  and  flourishing  of  religion  in  the  world. — Till  now,  he 
 had  every  day  sat  up  part  of  the  day  ;  but  after  this  he  never  rose 
 from  his  bed. 
 
 Sept,  30.  "  I  was  obliged  to  keep  my  bed  the  whole  day, 
 through  weakness.  However,  redeemed  a  little  time,  and  with 
 the  help  of  my  brother,  read  and  corrected  about  a  dozen  pages 
 in  my  Si.  S.  giving  an  account  of  my  conversion. 
 
 Oct,  1.  "  I  endeavoured  again  to  do  something  by  way  of  wri- 
 ting, but  soon  found  my  powers  of  body  and  mind  utterly  fail. 
 Felt  not  so  sweetly,  as  when  I  was  able  to  do  something  which  I 
 hoped  would  do  some  good.  In  the  evening,  was  discomposed 
 and  wholly  delirious  ;  but  it  was  not  long  before  God  was  pleas- 
 ed to  give  me  some  sleep,  and  fully  composed  my  mind.*  O 
 blessed  be  God  for  his  great  goodness  to  me,  since  I  was  so  low 
 at  Mr.  Bromfield's  on  Thurday,  June  18,  last.  He  has,  except 
 those  few  minutes,  given  me  the  clear  exercise  of  my  reason, 
 and  enabled  me  to  labour  much  for  him,  in  things  both  of  a  pub- 
 lic and    private    nature  ;  and  perhaps  to  do    more  good,  than    I 
 
 *  From  this  time  forward,  he  had  the  free  use  of  his  rea3on  till  the  day  before  his 
 death  ;  except  that  at  some  times  lie  appeared  a  little  lost  for  a  moment,  when  firt;! 
 waking  out  of  sleep. 
 
MEMOIIIS  OF  BRAINERD.  429 
 
 sliould  have  done  if  I  had  been  well  ;  besides  the  comfortable  in- 
 fluences of  his  blessed  Spirit,  with  which  he  has  been  pleased  to 
 refresh  my  soul.  May  his  name  have  all  the  glory  for  ever  and 
 ever.     Amen. 
 
 Oct.  2.  "  My  soul  was  this  day,  at  turns,  sweetly  set  on  God  : 
 I  longed  to  be  rmth  him,  that  1  might  behold  his  glory,  I  felt 
 sweetly  disposed  to  commit  all  to  him,  even  my  dearest  friends, 
 my  dearest  flock,  my  absent  brother,  and  all  my  concerns  for 
 time  and  eternity.  O  that  his  kingdom  might  come  in  the  world  ; 
 that  they  might  all  love  and  glorify  him,  for  what  he  is  in  himself; 
 and  that  the  blessed  Redeemer  might  "  see  of  the  travail  of  his 
 soul,   and   be   satisfied !     Oh,   come,  Lord  Jesus,  come  quickly !    'i~ 
 
 The  next  evening,  we  very  much  expected  his  brother  John 
 from  New^-Jersey  ;  it  being  about  a  week  after  the  time  that  he 
 proposed  for  his  return,  when  he  w^ent  away.  Though  our  ex- 
 pectations were  slill  disappointed,  yet  Brainerd  seemed  to  con- 
 tinue unmoved,  in  the  same  calm  and  peaceful  frame,  which  he 
 had  before  manifested  ;  as  having  resigned  all  to  God,  and  hav- 
 ing done  with  liis  friends,  and  with  all  things  here  below . 
 
 On  the  morning  of  the  next  day,  being  Lord'^s  day,  Oct.  4,  as  my 
 daughter  Jerusha,  who  chiefly  attended  him,  came  into  the 
 room,  he  looEe3"  on  her  very  pleasantly,  and  said,  "  Dear  Je- 
 rusha, are  you  wiUing  to  part  with  me  ? — 1  am  quite  willing  to 
 part  w^ith  you  :  1  am  willing  to  part  with  all  my  friends  :  I  am 
 willing  to  part  with  my  dear  brother  John,  although  I  love  him 
 the  best  of  any  creature  living  :  I  have  committed  him  and  all 
 my  friends  to  God,  and  can  leave  them  with  God.  Though,  if  I 
 thought  I  should  not  see  you,  and  be  happy  wi(h  you  in  another 
 world,  I  could  not  bear  to  part  with  you.  But  we  shall  spend  aa 
 happy  eternity  together  !"f     In  the  evening,  as  one  came  into  the 
 
 "  *  Here  ends  his  diary.  These  are  the  Inst  ivords  which  are  written  in  it,  either  hj 
 his  own  hand,  or  by  any  other  from  his  mouth. 
 
 t  Since  this,  it  has  pleased  a  holy  and  sovereign  God  to  take  away  this  my  dear 
 child  by  death,  on  the  14th  of  February,  next  following,  after  a  short  illness  of  five 
 days,  in  the  eighteenth  year  of  her  age.  She  was  a  person  of  much  the  same  spirit 
 with  Brainerd.  She  had  constantly  taken  care  of,  and  attended  him  in  his 
 sickness,  for  nineteen  weeks  before  his  death  ;  devoting  herself  to  it  with  great 
 delight,  because  she  looked  on  him  as  an  eminent  servant  of  Jesus  Christ.  In 
 this  time,  he  had  much  conversation  with  her  on  the  things  of  religion  ;  and  in 
 his  dying  state,  often  expressed  to  us,  her  parents,  his  great  satisfaction  concerning 
 her  true  piety,  and  his  confidence  that  he  should  meet  her  in  heaven 
 and  his  high  opinion  of  her,  not  only  as  a  true  Christian,  but  a  very  eminent  saint : 
 one  whose  soul  was  uncommonly  fed  and  entertained  with  things  which  appertain 
 to  the  most  spiritual,  experimental,  and  distinguishing  parts  of  religion  :  and  one 
 who,  by  the  temper  of  her  mind,  was  fitted  to  deny  herself  for  God,  and  to  do  good, 
 beyond  any  young  woman  whatsoever,  whom  he  knew.     She  had  manifested  a  hearl 
 
430  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 room  with  a  Bible  in  her  hand,  he  expressed  himself  thus  :  "  O 
 that  dear  book  !  that  \o\e\y  book  !  I  shall  soon  see  it  opened  ! 
 the  mysteries  that  are  in  it,  and  the  mysteries  of  God's  providence 
 will  be  all  unfolded  !'' 
 
 His  distemper  now  very  apparently  preyed  on  his  vitals  in  an 
 extraordinary  manner  :  not  by  a  sudden  breaking  of  ulcers  in  his 
 lungs,  as  at  Boston,  but  by  a  constant  discharge  of  purulent  mat- 
 ter, in  great  quantities  :  so  that  what  he  brought  up  by  expectora- 
 tion, seemed  to  be  as  it  were  mouthfuls  of  almost  clear  pus  ; 
 which  was  attended  with  very  inward  pain  and  distress. 
 
 On  Tuesday,  Oct.  6,  he  lay,  for  a  considerable  time,  as  if  he 
 were  dying.  At  which  time,  he  was  heard  to  utter,  in  broken 
 whispers,  such  expressions  as  these  :  "  He  will  come,  he  will  not 
 tarry.— I  shall  soon  be  in  glory. — I  shall  soon  glorify  God  with  the 
 angels." — But  after  some  time  he  revived. 
 
 The  next  day,  Wednesday,  Oct.  7,  his  brother  John  arrived 
 from  New-Jersey  ;  where  he  had  been  detained  much  longer 
 than  he  intended,  by  a  mortal  sickness  prevailing  among  the 
 christian  Indians,  and  by  some  other  circumstances  that  made  his 
 stay  with  them  necessary.  Bbainerd  was  affected  and  refreshed 
 with  seeing  him,  and  appeared  fully  satisfied  with  the  reasons  of 
 his  delay  ;  seeing  the  interest  of  religion  and  the  souls  of  his  peo- 
 ple required  it. 
 
 The  next  day,  Thursday,  Oct.  8,  he  was  in  great  distress  and 
 agonies  of  body  ;  and  for  the  greater  part  of  the  day,  was  much 
 disordered  as  to  the  exercise  of  his  reason.  In  the  evening,  he 
 was  more  composed,  and  had  the  use  of  his  reason  well :  but  the 
 pain  of  his  body  continued  and  increased.  He  told  me  that  it 
 was  impossible  for  any  one  to  conceive  of  the  distress  which  he 
 felt  in  his  breast.  He  manifested  much  concern  lest  he  should 
 dishonour  God  by  impatience,  under  his  extreme  agony  ;  which 
 was  such,  that  he  said,  the  thought  of  enduring  it  one  minute  lon- 
 ger was  almost  insupportable.  He  desired  that  others  would  be 
 much  in  lifting  up  their  hearts  continually  to  God  for  him,  that 
 God  would  support  him,  and  give  him  patience.  He  signified, 
 that  he  expected  to  die  that  night ;  but  seemed  to  fear  a  longer 
 delay  :  and  the  disposition  of  his  mind  with  regard  to  death,  ap- 
 peared still  the  same  that  it  had  been  all  along.  And  notwith- 
 standing his  bodily  agonies,  yet  the  interest  of  Zion  lay  still  with 
 great  weight  on  his  mind  ;  as  appeared  by  some  considerable 
 discourse  he  had  that  evening  with  the  Rev.   Mr.  Bilhng,  one  of 
 
 uncommonly  devoted  to  God,  in  the  course  of  her  life,  many  years  before  her  death  ; 
 and  said  on  her  death  bed,  that  "  she  had  not  seen  one  minute  for  several  years, 
 vi^herein  she  desired  to  live  one  minute  longer,  for  the  sake  of  any  other  good  in  life. 
 but  doing  good,  living  to  God,  and  doing  what  might  be  for  his  glory. 
 
xMEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  431 
 
 the  neighbouring  ministers,  who  was  then  present,  concerning  the 
 great  importance  of  the  work  of  the  ministry.  Afterwards,  when 
 it  was  very  late  in  the  night,  he  had  much  very  proper  and  profit- 
 able discourse  with  his  brother  John,  concerning  his  congregation 
 in  New-Jersey,  and  the  interest  of  religion  among  the  Indians. 
 In  the  latter  part  of  the  night,  his  bodily  distress  seemed  to  rise  to 
 a  greater  height  than  ever  ;  and  he  said  to  those  then  about  him, 
 that  '•  it  was  another  thing  to  die,  than  people  imagined ;"  ex- 
 plaining himself  to  mean  that  they  were  not  aware  what  bodily 
 pain  and  anguish  is  undergone  before  death.  Towards  day,  his 
 eyes  fixed ;  and  he  continued  lying  immovable,  till  about  six 
 o'clock,  on  Friday,  Oct.  9,  1747,  when  his  soul,  as  we  may  well 
 conclude,  was  received  by  his  dear  Lord  and  Master,  as  an  emi- 
 nently faithful  servant,  into  that  state  of  perfection  of  holiness, 
 and  fruition  of  God  for  which  he  had  so  often  and  so  ardently  long- 
 ed ;  and  was  welcomed  by  the  glorious  assembly  in  the  upper 
 world,  as  one  peculiarly  fitted  to  join  them  in  their  blessed  employ 
 and  enjoyment. 
 
 Much  respect  was  shewn  to  his  memory  at  his  funeral  ;  which 
 was  on  the  Monday  following,  after  a  sermon  preached  the  same 
 day,  on  that  solemn  occasion.  His  funeral  was  attended  by  eight 
 of  the  neighbouring  ministers,  and  seventeen  other  gentlemen  of 
 liberal  education,  and  a  great  concourse  of  people. 
 
CHAPTER  XIII. 
 
 lleflections  on  the  preceding  Meiiwim. 
 
 REFLECTION  I. 
 
 We  have  here  an  opportunity,  as  I  apprehend,  in  a  very  lively 
 instance,  to  see  the  nature  of  true  religion;  and  the  manner  of 
 its  operation  ;  when  exemplified  in  a  high  degree  and  in  powerful 
 exercise.     Particularly  it  may  be  worthy  to  be  observed, 
 
 I.  How  greatly  Bratnerd's  religion  differed  from  that  of  some 
 pretenders  to  the  experience  of  a  clear  luork  of  saving  conversion 
 wrought  on  their  hearts;  who,  depending  and  hving  on  that,  settle 
 in  a  cold,  careless,  and  carnal  frame  of  mind,  and  in  a  neglect  of 
 a  thorough,  earnest  religion,  in  the  stated  practice  of  it.  Al- 
 though his  convictions  and  conversion  were  in  all  respects  ex- 
 ceedingly clear,  and  very  remarkable;  yet  how  far  was  he  from 
 acting  as  though  he  thought  he  had  got  through  his  work,  when 
 once  he  had  obtained  comfort,  and  satisfaction  of  his  interest  in 
 Christ,  and  title  to  heaven  ?  On  the  contrary,  that  work  on  his 
 heart,  by  which  he  was  brought  to  this,  was  with  him  evidently 
 but  the  beginning  of  his  ivork;  his  first  entering  on  the  great  bu- 
 siness of  religion,  and  the  service  of  God  ;  his  first  setting  out  in 
 his  race.  His  obtaining  rest  of  sou!  in  Christ,  after  earnest  striv- 
 ing to  enter  in  at  the  strait  gate,  and  being  violent  to  take  the  king- 
 dom of  heaven,  he  did  not  look  upon  as  putting  an  end  to  any 
 further  occasion  for  striving  in  religion;  but  these  were  continued 
 still,  and  maintained  constantly,  through  all  changes,  to  the  very 
 end  of  life.  His  work  was  not  finished,  nor  his  race  ended,  till 
 hfe  was  ended;  agreeably  to  (requent  scriptural  representations 
 of  the  Christian  life.  He  continued  pressing  forward  in  a  con- 
 stant manner,  "  forgetting  the  things  that  were  behind,  and  reach- 
 ing forth  to  the  things  that  were  before."  His  pains  and  earnest- 
 ness in  the  business  of  religion  were  rather  increased,  than  di- 
 minished, after  he  had  received  comfort  and  satisfaction  concern- 
 ing the  safety  of  his  state.  Those  divine  principles,  by  which 
 after  this  he  was  actuated,  love  to  God,  longings  and  thirstings 
 after  holiness,  seem  to  have  been  more  effectual  to  engage  him  to 
 labour  and  activity  in  religion,  than  the  fear  of  hell  had  been  be- 
 fore. 
 
 As  his  conversion  was  not  the  end  o(  his  tvork,  or  of  the  course 
 of  his  diligence  and  stnvings  in  religion;  so  neither  was  it  the  end 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  433 
 
 of  the  work  of  the  Spirit  of  God  on  his  heart.  On  the  contrary, 
 it  was  the  beginning  of  the  work;  the  beginning  of  his  spiritual 
 discoveries,  and  holy  views;  the  first  dawning  of  the  light,  which 
 thenceforth  increased  more  and  more ;  the  beginning  of  his  holy 
 affections,  his  sorrow  for  sin,  his  love  to  God,  his  rejoicing  in 
 Christ  Jesus,  his  longing  after  holiness.  The  powerful  operations 
 of  the  spirit  of  God  in  these  things,  were  carried  on  from  the  day 
 of  his  conversion,  in  a  continued  course,  to  his  dying  day.  His 
 religious  experiences,  his  admiration,  his  joy,  praise  and  flovving 
 affections,  did  not  maintain  a  considerable  height  merely  for  a  few 
 days,  weeks,  or  months,  at  first,  while  hope  and  comfort  were  new 
 things  with  him  ;  and  then  gradually  dwindie  and  die  away,  till 
 they  came  to  almost  nothing,  and  so  leave  him  without  any  sensi- 
 ble or  remarkable  experience  of  spiritual  discoveries,  or  holy  and 
 divine  affections,  for  months  together.  Many  after  the  efiect  of 
 novelty  is  over,  soon  find  their  situation  and  feelings  very  much 
 the  same  as  before  their  supposed  conversion,  witli  respect  to  any 
 present  views  of  God's  glory,  of  Christ's  exeeHency,  or  of  the 
 beauty  of  divine  things;  and  with  respect  to  any  present  thirstings 
 for  God,  or  ardent  out  goings  of  their  souls  afior  divine  objects. 
 Now  and  then,  indeed,  they  have  a  comfortable  reflection  on  the 
 past,  and  are  somewhat  affected  with  the  remembrance,  and  so 
 rest  easy,  thinking  that  it  is  safe,  and  tisey  doubt  not  biit  tlipy  shall 
 go  to  heaven  when  they  die.  Far  otherwise  was  it  with  Brain- 
 ERD.  His  experiences,  instead  of  dying  away,  were  evidently 
 of  an  increasing  nature.  His  first  iove,  and  other  holy  afflictions, 
 even  at  the  beginning  were  very  great;  but  after  the  lapse  of 
 months  and  years,  became  much  greater  and  more  remarkable. 
 The  spiritual  exercises  of  his  mind  continued  exceedingly  great, 
 [though  not  equally  so  at  all  times,  yet  usually  so]  without  indul- 
 ged remissness,  and  without  habitiral  dwindling  and  dying  away, 
 even  till  his  decease.  They  began  in  a  time  of  general  deadness 
 all  over  the  land,  and  were  greatly  increased  in  a  time  of  general 
 revivinaj  of  religion.  When  religion  decayed  again,  and  a  gene- 
 ral deadness  returned  ;  his  experiences  were  still  kept  up  in  their 
 height,  and  his  holy  exercises  maintained  in  their  life  and  vigour. 
 Thus  they  continued  wherever  he  was,  and  whatever  his  cir- 
 cumstances were ;  among  English  and  Indians,  in  company  and 
 alone,  in  towns  and  cities,  and  in  the  howliiig  wilderness,  in  sick- 
 ness and  in  health,  living  and  dying.  This  is  agreeable  to  the 
 scriptural  descriptions  of  true  and  genuine  religion,  and  of  the 
 Christian  life.  The  change  wrought  in  him  at  his  conversion,  was 
 agreeable  to  the  scriptural  representations  of  that  change  which  is 
 wrought   in  true   conversion ;    a  great   change  and   an   abiding 
 
 55 
 
434  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 change,  rendering  him  a  new  man,  a  new  creature ;  not  merely  a 
 change  as  to  hope  and  comfort,  and  an  apprehension  of  his  own 
 good  estate,  and  a  transient  change,  consisting  in  high  flights  of 
 passing  affection  ;  but  a  change  of  nature^  a  change  of  the  abid- 
 ing habit  and  temper  of  his  mind.  Not  a  partial  change  merely 
 in  point  of  opinion,  or  outward  reformation  ;  much  less  a  change 
 from  one  error  to  another,  or  from  one  sin  to  another;  but  an  uni- 
 versal change,  both  internal  and  external ;  as  from  corrupt  and 
 dangerous  principles  in  religion,  unto  the  belief  of  the  truth,  so 
 from  both  the  habits  and  the  ways  of  sin,  unto  universal  holiness 
 of  heart  and  practice;  from  the  power  and  service  of  Satan  unto 
 God. 
 
 II.  His  religion  apparently  and  greatly  differed  from  that  of 
 many  high  pretenders  to  religion,  who  are  frequently  actuated  by 
 vehement  emotions  of  mind,  and  are  carried  on  in  a  course  of  sud- 
 den and  strong  impressions,  and  supposed  high  illuminations  and 
 immediate  discoveries ;  and  at  the  same  time  are  persons  of  a  viru- 
 lent "  zeal,  not  according  to  knowledge." 
 
 His  convictions,  preceding  his  conversion,  did  not  arise  from 
 any  frightful  impressions  of  his  imagination^  or  any  external  ima- 
 ges and  ideas  of  fire  and  brimstone,  a  sword  of  vengeance  drawn, 
 a  dark  pit  open,  devils  in  terrible  shapes,  &tc.  strongly  fixed  on  his 
 mind.  His  sight  of  his  own  sinfulness  did  not  consist  in  any  ima- 
 gination of  a  heap  of  loathsome  material  filthiness  within  him ; 
 nor  did  his  sense  of  the  hardness  of  bis  heart  consist  in  any  bodily 
 feeling  in  his  breast  of  something  hard  and  heavy  like  a  stone,  nor 
 in  any  imaginations  whatever  of  such  a  nature. 
 
 His  first  discovery  of  God  or  Christ,  at  his  conversion,  was  not 
 any  strong  idea  of  any  external  glory  or  brightness,  or  majesty 
 and  beauty  of  countenance,  or  pleasant  voice;  nor  was  it  any 
 supposed  immediate  manifestation  of  God's  love  to  him  in  par- 
 ticular; nor  any  imagination  of  Christ's  smiling  face,  arms  open, 
 or  words  immediately  spoken  to  him,  as  by  name,  revealing 
 Christ's  love  to  himj  either  words  of  scripture,  or  any  other. 
 But  it  was  a  manifestation  of  God's  glory,  and  the  beauty  of  his 
 nature,  as  supremely  excellent  in  itself;  powerfully  drawing,  and 
 sweetly  captivating  his  heart,  and  bringing  him  to  a  hearty  desire- 
 10  exalt  God,  to  set  him  on  the  throne,  and  to  give  him  supreme 
 honour  and  glory,  as  the  King  and  Sovereign  of  the  Universe: 
 and  also  a  new  sense  of  i\w  infinite  wisdom,  suitableness,  and  ex- 
 cellency of  the  way  of  salvation  by  Christ;  powerfully  engaging 
 his  whole  soul  to  embrace  this  way  of  salvation,  and  to  deliuht  in 
 it.  His  first  faith  did  not  consist  in  believing  that  Christ  loved 
 him,  and  died  for  him  in  particular.    His  first  comfort  was  not  from 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  435 
 
 any  secret  suggestion  of  God's  eternal  love  to  him,  or  that  God 
 was  reconciled  to  him,  or  intended  great  mercy  for  him  ;  by  any 
 such  texts  as  these,  "  Son,  be  of  good  cheer,  thy  sins  are  forgiv- 
 en thee.  Fear  not,  I  am  thy  God,"  he.  or  in  any  such  way.  On 
 the  contrary,  when  God's  glory  was  first  discovered  to  him,  it  was 
 without  any  thought  of  salvation  as  his  own.  His  first  experience 
 of  the  sanctifying  and  comforting  power  of  God's  Spirit  did  not 
 begin  in  some  bodily  sensation,  any  pleasant  warm  feeling  in  his 
 breast  which  some  would  have  called/<?e/m^  the  love  of  Christ  in 
 him  and  being  full  of  the  Spirit,  How  exceedingly  far  were  his 
 experiences,  at  his  first  conversion,  from  all  things  of  such  a  na- 
 ture. 
 
 If  we  look  through  the  whole  series  of  his  experiences,  from 
 his  conversion  to  his  death,  we  shall  find  none  of  this  kind.  J 
 have  had  occasion  to  read  his  diary  over  and  over,  and  very  par- 
 ticularly and  critically  to  review  every  passage  in  it ;  and  I  find 
 no  one  instance  of  a  strong  impression  on  his  imagination,  through 
 his  whole  life  ;  no  instance  of  a  strongly  impressed  idea  of  any  ex- 
 ternal glory  and  brightness,  of  any  bodily  form  or  shape,  any 
 beautiful  majestic  countenance.  There  is  no  imaginary  sight  of 
 Christ  hanging  on  the  cross  with  his  blood  streaming  from  his 
 wounds  ;  or  seated  in  heaven  on  a  bright  throne,  with  angels  and 
 saints  bowing  before  him  ;  or  with  a  countenance  smiling  on  him  ; 
 or  arms  open  to  embrace  him  :  no  sight  of  heaven,  in  his  imagi- 
 nation, with  gates  of  pearl,  and  golden  streets,  and  vast  multi- 
 tudes of  glorious  inhabitants,  with  shining  garments.  There  is  no 
 sight  of  the  book  of  Hfe  opened,  with  his  name  written  in  it  ;  no 
 hearing  of  the  sweet  music  made  by  the  songs  of  heavenly  hosts  • 
 no  hearing  God  or  Christ  immediately  speaking  to  him  ;  nor  any 
 sudden  suggestions  of  words  or  sentences,  either  of  scripture  or 
 any  other,  as  then  immediately  spoken  or  sent  to  him  ;  no  new 
 objective  revelations  ;  no  sudden  strong  suggestions  of  secret  facts. 
 Nor  do  I  find  any  one  instance  in  all  the  records  which  he  has 
 left  of  his  own  life,  from  beginning  to  end,  of  joy  excited  from  a 
 supposed  immediate  witness  of  the  Spirit ;  or  inward  immediate 
 suggestion,  that  his  state  was  surely  good,  that  God  loved  him 
 with  an  everlasting  love,  that  Christ  died  for  him  in  particular, 
 and  that  heaven  was  his  ;  either  with  or  without  a  text  of  scrip- 
 ture. There  is  no  instance  of  comfort  from  any  sudden  sugges- 
 tion to  his  mind,  as  though  at  that  very  time  directed  by  God  to 
 him  in  particular,  of  any  such  texts  as  these  ;  "  Fear  not ;  I  am 
 with  thee  ;" — "  It  is  your  Father's  good  pleasure  to  give  you  the 
 kingdom  ;"— "  You  have  not  chosen  me,  but  I  have  chosen 
 you  ;"— "  I  have  called  thee  by  thy  name,  thou  art  mine  ;"— 
 "  Before  thou  wast  forraed  in  the  belly,  1  knew  thee,"  &c.  There 
 
436  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 is  no  supposed  communion  and  conversation  with  God  carried  on 
 in  this  way  ;  nor  any  such  supposed  tasting  of  the  love  of  Christ. 
 But  the  way  ii^  which  he  was  satisfied  of  his  own  good  estate, 
 even  to  the  entire  abohshing  of  fear,  was  by  feehng  within  him- 
 self the  lively  actings  of  a  hojy  temper  and  heavenly  disposition, 
 the  vigorous  exercises  of  that  divine  love  which  casteth  out  fear. 
 This  was  the  way  in  which  he  had  full  satisfaction  soon  after  his 
 conversion,  (see  his  diary  for  Oct.  18,  and  19,  1740.)  We  find 
 no  other  way  of  satisfaction  through  his  whole  life  afterwards  ; 
 and  this  he  abundantly  declared  to  be  the  way,  the  only  way,  in 
 which  he  had  complete  satisfaction,  when  he  looked  death  in  the 
 face,  in  its  near  approaches. 
 
 Some  of  the  pretenders  to  an  immediute  witness  by  suggestion, 
 and  defenders  of  it,  with  an  assuming  confidence  would  persuade 
 us,  that  there  is  no  full  assurance  without  it ;  and  that  the  way  of 
 being  satisfied  by  signs,  and  arguing  an  interest  in  Christ  from 
 sanctification,  if  it  will  keep  men  quiet  in  life  and  health,  yet 
 will  never  do  when  they  come  to  die.  Then,  they  say,  men 
 must  have  immediate  witness,  or  else  be  in  a  dreadful  uncertain- 
 ty. Brainerd's  experience  is  a  confutation  of  this  ;  for  in  him 
 we  have  an  instance  of  one  who  possessed  as  constant,  as  unsha- 
 ken an  assurance,  through  the  course  of  his  life,  after  conversion, 
 as  perhaps  can  be  produced  in  this  age.  Yet  he  obtained  and 
 enjoyed  it  without  any  such  sort  o^  testimony^  and  without  the 
 least  appearance  of  it,  or  pretence  to  it ;  yea,  while  utterly  dis- 
 claiming any  such  thing,  and  declaring  against  it.  His  assurance, 
 we  need  not  scruple  to  affirm,  has  as  fair  a  claim,  and  as  just  a 
 pretension,  to  truth  and  genuineness,  as  any  which  the  preten- 
 ders to  immedial.e  7oit7iess  can  produce.  He  not  only  had  such  as- 
 surance in  life,  but  had  it  in  a  constant  manner  in  his  last  illness  ; 
 and  particularly  in  the  latter  stages  of  it,  through  those  last 
 montI»5  of  hi^  life  wherein  death  w^s  more  sensibly  approaching, 
 without  (he  least  hope  of  life.  He  had  it  too  in  its  fulness,  and 
 in  the  height  of  its  exercise,  under  repeated  trials,  in  this  space 
 of  time  ;  when  brought  from  time  to  time  to  the  very  brink  of  the 
 grave,  expecting  in  a  few  minutes  to  be  in  eternity.  He  had 
 ''  the  full  assurance  of  hope,  unto  the  end."  When  on  the  verge 
 of  eternity,  he  then  declared  his  assurance  to  be  such  as  perfectly 
 excluded  all  fear.  Not  only  so,  but  it  manifestly  filled  his  soul 
 with  exceeding  joy  ;  he  declaring  at  the  same  time,  that  this  his 
 consolation  and  good  hope  through  grace,  arose  wholly  from  the 
 evidence  he  had  of  his  good  estate,  by  what  he  found  of  his  sancti- 
 fication, or  the  exercise  of  a  holy  heavenly  temper  of  mind,  su- 
 preme love  to  God,  (SiC.  and  not  in  the  least  from  any  immediate 
 witness  by   suggestion.     Yea,  he  declares   that,  at  these   very 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  437 
 
 times,  he  saw  the  awful  delusion  of  that  confidence  which  is  built 
 on  such  a  foundation,  as  well  as  of  the  whole  of  that  relis^ion 
 which  it  usually  springs  from,  or  at  least  is  the  attendant  of:  and 
 that  his  soul  abhorred  those  delusions  :  and  he  continued  in  thie 
 mind,  often  expressing  it  with  much  solemnity,  even  till  death, 
 
 III.  Brainerd's  religion  was  not  seljish  and  mercenary;  his 
 love  to  God  was  primarily  and  principally  for  the  supreme  ex- 
 cellency of  his  own  nature,  and  not  built  on  a  preconceived  no- 
 tion that  God  loved  kim^  had  received  him  into  favour,  and  had 
 done  great  things/or  him^  or  promised  great  things  to  him.  His 
 joy  was  joy  in  God,  and  not  in  himself.  We  see  by  his  diary  how, 
 from  time  to  time,  through  the  course  of  his  life,  his  soul  was 
 filled  with  ineffable  sweetness  and  comfort.  But  what  was 
 the  spring  of  this  strong  and  abiding  consolation  ?  Not  so  much 
 the  consideration  of  the  sure  grounds  he  had  to  think  that  his  state 
 was  good,  that  God  had  dehvered  him  from  helL  and  that  heavea 
 was  his  ;  or  any  thoughts  concerning  his  own  distinguished  happy 
 and  exalted  circumstances,  as  a  high  favourite  of  Heaven  :  but 
 the  sweet  meditations  and  refreshing  views  he  had  of  divine  things 
 without  himself ;  the  affecting  considerations  and  lively  ideas  of 
 God's  infinite  glory,  his  unchangeable  blessedness,  his  sovereign- 
 ty and  universal  dominion;  together  with  the  sweet  exercises  of 
 love  to  God,  giving  himself  up  to  him,  abasing  himself  before 
 him,  denying  himself  for  him,  depending  upon  him,  acting  for 
 his  glory,  diligently  serving  him  ;  and  the  pleasing  prospects  or 
 hopes  he  had  of  a  future  advancement  of  the  kingdom  of  Christ, 
 &c. 
 
 It  appears  plainly  and  abundantly  all  along,  from  his  conver- 
 sion to  his  death,  that  the  sort  of  good,  which  was  the  great  ob- 
 ject of  the  new  relish  and  appetite  given  him  in  conversion,  and 
 thenceforward  maintained  and  increased  in  his  heart,  was  holi- 
 ness, conformity  to  God,  living  to  God,  and  glorifying  him. 
 This  was  what  drew  his  heart  ;  this  was  the  centre  of  his  soul ; 
 this  was  the  ocean  to  which  all  the  streams  of  his  religious  affec- 
 tions tended  ;  this  was  the  object  which  engaged  his  eager 
 thirsting  desires  and  earnest  pursuits.  He  knew  no  true  excel- 
 lency, or  happiness,  but  this  ;  this  was  what  he  longed  for  most 
 vehemently  and  constantly  on  earth  ;  and  this  was  with  him  the 
 beauty  and  blessedness  o(  heaven.  This  made  him  so  much  and 
 so  often  long  for  that  world  of  glory.  It  was  to  be  perfectly  ho- 
 ly, and  perfectly  exercised  in  the  holy  employments  of  heaven; 
 and  thus,  "  to  glorify  God  and  enjoy  him  for  ever." 
 
 His  religious  illuminations,  affections,  and  comfort,  seemed, 
 to  a  great  degree,  to  be  attended  with  evangelical  humiliation  ; 
 consisting  in  a  sense    of  his  own  utter  insufficiency,  despicable- 
 
438  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 ness,  and  odiousness  ;  with  an  answerable  disposition  and  frame 
 of  heart.  How  deeply  affected  was  he  almost  continually  with 
 his  great  defects  in  religion ;  with  his  vast  distance  from  that 
 spirituality  and  holy  frame  of  mind  that  became  him  ;  with  his 
 ignorance,  pride,  deadness,  unsteadiness,  barrenness  ?  He  was 
 not  only  affected  with  the  remembrance  of  h\s  former  sinfulness, 
 before  his  conversion,  but  with  the  sense  o(  h'\s  present  vileness 
 and  pollution.  He  was  not  only  disposed  to  think  meanly  of  him- 
 self as  before  God,  and  in  comparison  of  him  ;  but  amongst  men, 
 and  as  compared  with  them.  He  was  apt  to  think  other  saints 
 better  than  himself ;  yea,  to  look  on  himself  as  the  meanest  and 
 least  of  saints  ;  yea,  very  often,  as  the  vilest  and  worst  of  man- 
 kind. And  notwithstanding  his  great  attainments  in  spiritual 
 knowledge^  yet  we  find  there  is  scarce  any  thing,  with  a  sense  of 
 which  he  is  more  frequently  affected  and  abased,  than  his  igno- 
 rance. 
 
 How  eminently  did  he  appear  to  be  of  a  meek  and  quiet  spirit, 
 resembling  the  lamb-like,  dove-like  Spirit  of  Jesus  Christ!  How 
 full  of  love,  meekness,  quietness,  forgiveness,  and  mercy  !  His 
 love  was  not  merely  a  fondness  and  zeal  for  a  party,  but  an  uni- 
 versal benevolence  ;  very  often  exercised  in  the  most  sensible  and 
 ardent  love  to  his  greatest  opposers  and  enemies.  His  love  and 
 meekness  were  not  a  mere  pretence,  and  outward  profession  and 
 shew  ;  but  they  were  effectual  things,  manifested  in  expensive 
 and  laborious  deeds  of  love  and  kindness  ;  and  in  a  meek  be- 
 haviour ;  readily  confessing  faults  under  the  greatest  trials,  and 
 humbling  himself  even  at  the  feet  of  those  from  whom  he  sup- 
 posed he  had  suffered  most ;  and  from  time  to  time  very  frequent- 
 ly praying  for  his  enemies,  abhorring  the  thoughts  of  bitterness 
 or  resentment  towards  them.  I  scarcely  know  where  to  look  for 
 any  parallel  instance  of  self-denial,  in  these  respects,  in  the  pres- 
 ent age.  He  was  a  person  of  great  zeal ;  but  how  did  he  abhor 
 a  bitter  zeal,  and  lament  it  where  he  saw  it !  And  though  he  was 
 once  drawn  into  some  degrees  of  it,  by  the  force  of  prevailing 
 example,  as  it  were  in  his  childhood ;  yet  how  did  he  go  about 
 with  a  heart  bruised  and  broken  in  pieces  for  it  all  his  life  after! 
 
 Of  how  soft  and  tender  a  spirit  was  he  !  How  far  were  his  ex- 
 periences, hopes,  and  joys,  from  a  tendency  finally  to  stupify 
 and  harden  him,  to  lessen  convictions  and  tenderness  of  con- 
 science, to  cause  him  to  be  less  affected  with  present  and  past 
 sins,  and  less  conscientious  with  respect  to  future  sins.  How  far 
 were  they  from  making  him  more  easy,  in  neglect  of  duties 
 which  are  troublesome  and  inconvenient,  more  slow  and  partial 
 in  complying  with  difficult  commands,  less  apt  to  be  alarmed  at 
 the  appearance  of  his  own  defects  and  transgressions,  more  easily 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  439 
 
 induced  to  a  compliance  with  carnal  appetites  !  On  the  contra- 
 ry, how  tender  was  his  conscience  !  how  apt  was  his  heart  to 
 smite  him  !  how  easily  and  greatly  was  he  alarmed  at  the  appear- 
 ance of  moral  evil  !  how  great  and  constant  was  his  jealousy  over 
 his  own  heart!  how  strict  his  care  and  watchfulness  against  sin  ! 
 how  deep  and  sensible  were  the  wounds  that  sin  made  in  his  con- 
 science !  Those  evils  which  are  generally  accounted  small,  were 
 almost  an  insupportable  burden  to  him  ;  such  as  his  inward  defi- 
 ciencies, his  having  no  more  love  to  God,  finding  within  himself 
 any  slacknes  or  dulness  in  religion,  any  unsteadiness  or  wander- 
 ing frame  of  mind.  How  did  the  consideration  of  such  things  as 
 these  oppress  and  abase  him,  and  fill  him  with  inward  shame  and 
 confusion  !  His  love  and  hope,  though  they  were  such  as  cast  oqt 
 a  servile  fear  of  hell,  yet  were  attended  with,  and  abundantly 
 cherished  and  promoted  a  reverential  filial  fear  of  God,  a  dread 
 of  sin  and  of  God's  holy  displeasure.  His  joy  seemed  truly  to  be 
 a  rejoicing  with  trembling.  His  assurance  and  comfort  differed 
 greatly  from  a  false  enthusiastic  confidence  and  joy,  in  that  it  pro- 
 moted and  maintained  mourning  for  sin.  Holy  mourning,  with 
 him,  was  not  only  the  work  of  an  hour  or  a  day,  at  his  first  con- 
 version ;  but  sorrow  for  sin  was  like  a  wound  constantly  running: 
 he  was  a  mourner  for  sin  all  his  days.  He  did  not,  after  he  re- 
 ceived comfort  and  full  satisfaction  of  the  forgiveness  of  all  his 
 sins,  and  the  safety  of  his  state,  forget  his  past  sins,  the  sins  of  his 
 youth,  committed  before  his  conversion  ;  but  the  remembrance 
 of  them,  from  time  to  time,  revived  in  his  heart,  with  renewed 
 grief.  That  passage  [Ezek  xvi.  63.]  was  evidently  fulfilled  in 
 him,  "That  thou  mayest  remember,  and  be  confounded,  and  nev- 
 er open  thy  mouth  any  more,  because  of  thy  shame  ;  when  I  am 
 pacified  toward  thee  for  all  that  thou  hast  done."  And  how  last- 
 ingly did  the  sins  he  committed  after  his  conversion  affect  and 
 hreak  his  heart!  If  he  did  any  thing  whereby  he  thought  he  had 
 in  any  respect  dishonoured  God,  and  wounded  the  interest  of  re- 
 ligion, he  had  never  done  with  calling  it  to  mind  with  sorrow  and 
 bitterness;  though  he  was  assured  that  God  had  forgiven  it,  yet 
 he  never  forgave  himself;  his  past  sorrows  and  fears  made  no 
 satisfaction,  with  him  ;  but  still  the  wound  rene^vs  and  bleeds 
 afresh,  again,  and  again.  And  his  present  sins,  those  he  daily 
 found  in  himself,  were  an  occasion  of  daily  sensible  and  deep  sor- 
 row of  heart. 
 
 His  religion  did  not  consist  in  unaccountable  flights  and  vehe- 
 ment pangs;  suddenly  risin,-,  and  sudd'Mily  falling;  at  times  ex- 
 alted almost  to  the  third  heavens,  end  then  negligent,  vain,  carnal, 
 and  swallowed  up  with  the  world,  for  days  and  weeks,  if  not 
 months  together.     His  religion  was  not  like  a  blazing  meteor,  or 
 
440  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 like  a  flaming  comet,  (or  a  wandering  star,  as  the  apostle  Jude  calls 
 it,  ver.  13.)  flyii^.g  through  the  firmament  with  a  bright  train,  and 
 then  quickly  departing  into  perfect  darkness  ;  but  more  like  the 
 steady  lights  of  heaven,  constant  principles  of  light,  though  some- 
 times hid  with  clouds.  Nor  like  a  land-flood,  which  flows  far  and 
 wide  with  a  rapid  stream,  bearing  down  all  before  it,  and  then 
 dries  up ;  but  more  like  a  stream,  fed  by  hving  springs  ;  which 
 thoui^h  sometimes  increased  by  showers,  and  at  other  times  dimin- 
 ished by  drought,  yet  is  a  constant  stream. 
 
 His  religious  afl*e-ctions  and  joys  were  not  like  those  of  some, 
 who  have  rapture  and  mighty  emotions  from  time  to  time  in  com- 
 pany;  but  have  very  little  affection  in  retirement  and  secret  places. 
 Though  he  was  of  a  very  sociable  temper,  and  loved  the  company 
 of  saints,  and  delighted  very  much  in  religious  conversation,  and 
 in  social  worship ;  yet  his  warmest  affections,  and  their  greatest 
 effects  on  animal  nature,  and  his  sweetest  joys,  were  in  his  closet 
 devotions,  and  solitary  transactions  between  God  and  his  own  soul: 
 as  is  very  observable  through  his  whole  course,  from  his  conver- 
 sion to  his  death.  He  delighted  greatly  in  sacred  retirements ; 
 and  loved  to  get  quite  away  from  all  the  world,  to  converse  with 
 God  slone,  in  secret  duties. 
 
 Brainerd's  experiences  and  comforts  were  very  far  from  being 
 like  those  of  some  persons,  which  are  attended  with  a  spiritual  sa- 
 tiety, and  which  put  an  end  to  their  religious  desires  and  longings, 
 at  least  to  the  edge  and  ardency  of  them ;  resting  satisfied  in  their 
 own  attainments  and  comforts,  as  having  obtained  their  chief  end, 
 which  is  to  extinguish  their  fears  of  hell,  and  give  them  confi- 
 dence of  the  favour  of  God.  On  the  contrary,  they  were  always 
 attended  with  longings  and  thirsitings  after  greater  degrees  of  con- 
 formity to  God  !  The  greater  and  sweeter  his  comforts  were,  the 
 more  vehement  were  his  desires  after  holiness.  His  longings 
 were  not  so  much  after  joyful  discoveries  of  God's  love,  and  clear 
 views  of  his  own  title  to  future  advancement  and  eternal  honours 
 in  heaven  ;  as  after  more  of  present  holiness,  greater  spirituality, 
 an  heart  more  engaged  for  God,  to  love,  and  exalt,  and  depend 
 on  him.  He  earnestly  wished  to  serve  God  better,  to  do  more 
 for  his  glory,  to  do  all  that  he  did  with  more  of  a  regard  to  Christ 
 as  his  righteousness  and  strength,  and  to  behold  the  enlargement 
 and  advancement  of  his  kingdom  on  earth.  His  desires  were  not 
 idle  wishes,  but  such  as  were  powerful  and  effectual,  to  animate 
 him  to  the  earnest,  eager  pursuit  of  these  things,  with  the  utmost 
 diligence  and  unfainting  labour  and  self-denial.  His  comforts  nev- 
 er put  an  end  to  his  seeking  after  God,  and  striving  to  obtain  his 
 grace;  but,  on  the  contrary,  greatly  engaged  him  therein. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  441 
 
 IV.  His  religion  did  not  consist  in  experience  without  pract  ce. 
 All  his  inward  illumina(ions,  affections,  and  comforts,  seemed  to 
 have  a  direct  tendency  to  practice,  and  to  issue  in  it :  and  this,  not 
 merely  a  practice  negatwtly  good,  free  from  gross  acts  of  irreli- 
 gion  and  immorality;  but  a  practice  positively  holy  and  christian, 
 in  a  serious,  devout,  humble,  meek,  merciful,  charitable,  and  be- 
 neficent conversation  ;  making  the  service  of  God  and  our  Lord 
 Jesus  Christ,  the  great  business  of  life,  to  which  he  was  devoted, 
 and  which  he  pursued  with  the  greatest  earnestness  and  diligence 
 to  the  end  of  his  days,  through  all  trials.  In  him  was  to  be  seen 
 the  right  way  of  being  lively  in  religion.  His  liveliness  in  religion 
 did  not  consist  merely,  or  mainly,  in  his  being  lively  with  the 
 tongm,  but  in  deed:  r,oi  in  being  forward  in  profession  and  out- 
 ward shew,  and  abundant  in  declaring  his  own  experiences;  but 
 chiefly  in  being  active  and  abundant  in  the  labours  and  duties  of 
 religion  ;  "  not  slothful  in  business,  but  fervent  in  spirit,  serving 
 the  Lord,  and  serving  his  generation,  according  to  the  will  of  God." 
 
 By  these  things,  many  high  pretenders  to  religion,  and  pro- 
 fessors of  extraordinary  spiritual  experience,  may  be  sensible 
 that  Brainekd  did  greatly  condemn  their  kind  of  religion  ;  and 
 that  not  only  in  word,  but  by  example,  both  living  and  dying  ; 
 as  the  whole  series  of  his  christian  experience  and  practice, 
 from  his  conversion  to  his  death,  appears  a  constant  condemnation 
 of  it. 
 
 It  cannot  be  objected,  that  the  reason  why  be  so  much  disliked 
 the  religion  of  these  pretenders,  and  why  his  own  so  much  differ- 
 ed from  it,  was,  that  h;s  experiences  were  not  clear.  There  is 
 HO  room  to  say,  they  were  otherwise,  in  any  respect,  in  which 
 clearness  of  experience  has  been  wont  to  be  insisted  on  ;  whether 
 it  be  the  clearness  of  their  nature  or  of  their  order,  and  the 
 method  in  which  his  soul  first  found  rest  and  comfort  in  his  con- 
 version, lam  far  from  thinking,  and  so  was  he,  that  clearness  in 
 the  order  o^  experiences  is,  in  any  measure,  of  equal  importance 
 with  the  clearness  of  their  nature.  I  have  sufliciently  declared  in 
 my  discourse  on  religious  affections,  which  he  expressly  approved 
 of  and  recommended,  that  T  do  not  suppose,  a  sensible  distinct- 
 ness of  the  steps  of  the  Spirit's  operation  and  method  of  succes- 
 sive convictions  and  illuminations,  is  a  necessary  requisite  to  per- 
 sons being  received  ip.  fiiU  cha'ity,  as  true  saints  ;  provided  ihe 
 nature  of  the  things  which  they  profess  be  right,  and  thejr  prac- 
 tice correspondent.  Nevertheless,  it  is  observable, — a  fact  which 
 cuts  off  all  objection  from  such  as  would  be  most  unreasonably 
 disposed  to  object  and  cavil  in  the  present  case, — that  Brainerd's 
 experiences  were  not  only  clear  in  the  latter  respect,  but  remarka- 
 
442  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 bly  so  in  the  former  :  so  that  there  is  not  perhaps  one  instance  ia 
 five  hundred  true  converts,  which  on  this  account  can  be  parallel- 
 ed with  him. 
 
 It  cannot  be  pretended,  that  the  reason  why  he  so  much  con- 
 demned the  experiences  of  those  whose  first  faith  consists  in  be- 
 lieving that  Christ  is  theirs^  and  ihat  Chn^i  died  for  them;  without 
 any  previous  experience  of  union  of  heart  to  him,  for  his  excel- 
 lency, as  he  is  in  himself,  and  not  for  his  supposed  love  to  them — 
 and  who  judge  of  their  interest  in  Christ,  their  justification, 
 and  God's  love  to  them,  not  by  their  sanctification,  and  the 
 exercises  and  fruits  of  grace,  but  by  a  supposed  immediate 
 witness  of  the  Spirit,  by  inward  suggestion — was,  that  he  was  of 
 a  too  legal  spirit,  or  that  he  never  was  dead  to  the  law,  never  ex- 
 perienced a  thorough  work  of  conviction,  was  never  fully  brought 
 off  from  his  own  righteousness,  and  weaned  from  the  old  covenant 
 by  a  thorough  legal  humiliation  ;  or  that  afterwards,  he  had  no 
 j^reat  degree  of  eraw^e/ica/ humiliation,  not  living  in  a  deep  sense 
 of  his  own  emptiness,  wretchedness,  poverty,  and  absolute  de- 
 pendence on  the  mere  grace  of  God  through  Christ.  His  convic- 
 tions of  sin,  preceding  his  first  consolations  in  Christ,  were  ex- 
 ceedingly deep  and  thorough;  his  trouble  and  exercise  of  mind, 
 from  a  sense  of  sin  and  misery,  very  great,  and  long  continued, 
 and  the  light  let  into  his  mind  at  his  conversion,  and  in  progressive 
 sanctification,  appears  to  have  had  its  genuine  humbiing  influence 
 upon  him,  to  have  kept  him  low  in  his  own  eyes,  not  confiding  in 
 himself,  but  in  Christ,  "  living  by  the  faith  of  the  Son  of  God,  and 
 looking  for  the  mercy  of  the  Lord  Jesus  to  eternal  life." 
 
 Nor  can  it  be  pretended,  that  the  reason  why  he  condemned 
 these,  and  other  things,  which  this  sort  of  people  call  the  very  es- 
 sence of  vital  religion,  and  the  power  of  godliness,  was,  that  he 
 was  a  dead  Christian^  and  lived  in  the  dark,  as  they  express  them- 
 selves ;  that  his  experiences,  though  they  might  be  true,  were  not 
 great  ;  that  he  did  not  live  near  to  God  ;  that  he  had  but  a  small 
 acquaintance  with  him;  or  that  he  had  but  a  dim  sight  of  spiritual 
 things.  If  any,  after  ihey  have  read  the  preceding  account  of 
 Bhainerd's  life,  will  venture  to  pretend  this,  they  will  only  shew 
 \haithey  themselves  are  in  the  dark,  and  do  indeed  "  put  darkness 
 for  light,  and  light  for  darkness." 
 
 It  is  common  with  this  sort  of  people,  if  there  are  any,  whon» 
 they  cannot  deriy  to  exhibit  tjood  evidences  of  true  godliness,  who 
 yet  appear  to  dislike  their  notions — and  condemn  those  things, 
 wherein  they  place  the  heij^ht  of  relitrion — to  insinuate,  that  thei^ 
 are  afraid  of  the  c7'oss,  and  have  a  mind  to  secvre  the  favour  (f  the 
 worlds  and  the  like.  But  this  will  not  be  allejjed  concerning 
 Brainerd,  by  any  one  who  has  read  the  preceding  account  of 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  443 
 
 his  life.  It  must  be  obvious  to  every  one,  that  lie  was  an  extra- 
 ordinary, and  almost  unparalleled  instance  in  these  times,  and 
 these  parts  of  the  world,  of  the  contrary  disposition  ;  and  that^ 
 whether  we  consider  what  he  has  recorded  of  his  inward  experi- 
 ence, from  time  to  time ;  or  his  practice^  how  he  in  fact  took  up 
 and  embraced  the  cross,  and  bore  it  constantly,  in  his  great  self- 
 denials,  labours,  and  sufferings  for  the  name  of  Jesus,  and  went 
 on  without  fainting,  without  repining,  to  his  dying  illness  ;  how  he 
 did  not  only,  from  time  to  time,  relinquish  and  renounce  the  world 
 secretly  in  his  heart,  with  the  full  and  fervent  consent  of  all  the 
 powers  of  his  soul  ;  but  openly  and  actually  forsook  the  worlds 
 with  its  possessions,  delights,  and  common  comforts,  to  dwell  as  it 
 were  with  wild  beasts,  in  a  howling  wilderness  ;  with  constant 
 cheerfulness,  complying  with  the  numerous  hardships  of  a  life  of 
 toil  and  travel  there,  to  promote  the  kingdom  of  his  dear  Re- 
 deemer. Besides,  it  appears  by  the  preceding  history,  that  he 
 never  did  more  condemn  the  things  referred  to,  never  had  a  great- 
 er sense  of  their  delusion,  p^ernicious  nature,  and  ill  tendency, 
 and  never  was  more  full  of  pity  to  those  who  are  led  away  with 
 them,  than  in  his  last  illness,  and  at  times  when  he  had  the  near- 
 est prospect  of  death,  and  supposed  himself  to  be  on  the  very 
 brink  of  eternity.  Surely  he  did  not  condemn  those  things  at 
 these  seasons,  only  to  secure  the  favour  of  the  world, 
 
 V.  Beside  what  has  been  already  related  of  Brainerd's  senti- 
 ments in  his  dying  state  concerning  true  and  false  religion,  we 
 have  his  deliberate  and  solemn  thoughts  on  this  subject  in  his  pre- 
 face to  Mr.  Shepard's  diary,  before  mentioned,  which,  when  he 
 wrote  it,  he  supposed  to  be,  as  it  proved,  one  of  the  last  things  he 
 should  ever  write.  1  shall  here  insert  a  part  of  that  preface^  as 
 follows  : — 
 
 ''  How  much  stress  is  laid  by  many  upon  some  things  as  being 
 effects  and  evidences  of  exalted  degress  of  religion,  when  they 
 are  so  far  from  being  of  any  importance  in  it,  that  they  are  real- 
 ly irreligious,  a  mixture  of  self-love,  imagination,  and  spiritual 
 pride,  or  perhaps  the  influence  of  satan  transformed  into  an  an- 
 gel of  light ;  I  say,  how  much  stress  is  laid  on  these  things  by 
 many,  I  shall  not  determine  :  but  it  is  much  to  be  feared,  that 
 while  God  was  carrying  on  a  glorious  work  of  grace,  and  undoubt- 
 edly gathering  a  harvest  of  souls  to  himself,  which  we  should  al- 
 ways remember  with  thankfulness,  numbers  of  others  have,  at  the 
 same  time  been  fatally  deluded  by  the  devices  of  the  devil,  and 
 their  own  corrupt  hearts.  It  is  to  be  feared,  that  the  conversions 
 of  some  have  no  better  foundation  than  this  ;  viz.  that  after  they 
 have  been  under  sonDe  concern  for  their  eouls  for  a  while,  and  it 
 
444  MExMOlRS  OF  BRAINEKD. 
 
 may  be  manifested  some  very  great  and  uncommon  distress  and 
 agonies,  they  have  on  a  suddf^n  imagined  that  they  saw  Christ,  \n 
 some  posture  or  other,  perhaps  on  the  cross,  bleeding  and  dying 
 for  their  sins  ;  or  it  may  be.  smiling  on  them,  and  th<Teby  sii^nify- 
 ing  his  love  to  them  ;  and  that  these  and  the  like  things,  though 
 mere  imaginations,  which  have  nothin<x  spiri|;iial  in  them,  have  in- 
 stantly removed  all  their  fears  and  distresses,  filled  tliem  with 
 raptures  of  joy,  and  made  them  imagine,  that  they  loved  Christ 
 with  all  their  hearts  ;  when  the  bottom  of  all  was  nothing  but  self- 
 love.  For  when  they  imagined  that  Christ  had  been  so  good  to 
 them  as  to  save  them,  and  as  it  were  to  single  them  out  of  all  the 
 world,  they  could  not  but  feel  some  kind  of  natural  gratitude  to 
 him  ;  although  they  never  had  any  spiritual  view  of  his  divine 
 glory,  excellency,  and  beauty,  and  consequently  never  had  any 
 love  to  him  for  himself.  Others,  having  had  a  passage,  or  per- 
 haps maj'Y  passages  of  scripture,  brought  to  their  minds  with  pow- 
 er, as  the.'  express  it,  such  as  that.  "  Son,  be  of  good  cheer,  thy 
 sins  are  forgiven  thee,"  and  the  like  ;  have  immediately  applied 
 these  passages  to  themselves,  supposing  that  God  hereby  manifest- 
 ed his  peculiar  fav(3iir  to  them^  a>:  if  mentioned  by  name  ;  never 
 considering,  that  they  are  now  giving  heed  to  new  revelations, 
 there  being  no  such  thing  revealed  in  the  word  of  God,  as  that  this 
 or  that  particular  person  has,  or  ever  shall  have  his  sins  forgiven; 
 nor  ye{  remeinbering,  that  Satan  can,  with  a  great  deal  of  seem- 
 ing pertinency,  and  perhaps  also  with  considerable  power,  bring 
 scripture  to  {\\e.  minds  of  men,  as  he  did  to  Christ  himself.  7'hus 
 these  persons  rejoice  in  having  a  passage  of  scripture  suddenly 
 suggested  to  them,  or  impressed  upon  their  minds,  supposing 
 they  arc  now  the  children  of  God  ;  just  as  the  others  did  in  their 
 imaginary  views  of  Christ.  Some  speak  of  seeing  a  great  light 
 which  tilled  all  the  place  where  they  were,  and  dispelled  all  their 
 darkness,  fears,  and  distresses,  and  almost  ravished  their  souls. — 
 While  others  have  had  it  viarmi}  suggested  to  their  minds,  not 
 by  any  passage  of  scripture,  but  as  it  were  by  a  zvhisper  or  voice 
 from  heaven,  "  Tliat  God  loves  them,  that  Christ  is  theirs,"  &c. 
 which  groundless  imaginations  and  suggestions  of  Satan  have  had 
 the  same  effect  upon  them,  that  the  delusions  before  mentioned 
 had  on  the  others.  As  is  the  conversation  of  this  sort  of  persons, 
 so  are  their  after  experiences  ;  the  whole  being  built  upon  imagi- 
 nation, strong  impressions,  and  sudden  suggestions  made  to  their 
 minds;  whence  they  are  usually  extremely  confident,  as  if  imme- 
 diately informed  from  God,  not  only  of  the  goodness  of  their  own 
 state,  but  of  their  infallible  knowledge,  and  absolute  certainty,  of 
 the  truth  of  every  thing  to  which  they  pretend,  under  the  notion 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  445 
 
 of  religion  ;  and  thus  all  reasoning  with   some  of  them  is   utterly 
 excluded. 
 
 *'  But  it  is  remarkable  of  these,  that  they  are  extremely  deficient 
 in  true  poverty  of  spirit,  a  sense  of  exceeding  vileness  in  them- 
 selves, such  as  frequently  makes  truly  gracious  souls  to  groan,  be- 
 ing  burdened  ;  as  also  in  meekness,  love,  gentleness  towards  man- 
 kind, and  tenderness  of  conscience  in  their  ordinary  affairs  and 
 dealings  in  the  world.  It  is  rare  to  see  them  deeply  concerned 
 about  the  principles  and  ends  of  their  actions,  and  under  fears 
 lest  they  should  not  eye  the  glory  of  God  chiefly,  but  live  to  them- 
 selves; or  this  at  least  is  the  case  in  their  ordinary  conduct,  wheth- 
 er civil  or  religious.  But  if  any  one  of  their  particular  notions, 
 which  their  zeal  has  espoused,  be  attacked,  they  are  then  so  con- 
 scientious, they  must  burn,  if  called  to  it,  for  its  defence.  At  the 
 same  time  while  they  are  so  extremely  deficient  in  these  precious 
 divine  tempers,  which  have  been  mentioned,  they  are  usually  full 
 o{ zeal,  concern,  and  fervency  in  the  things  of  religion,  and  often 
 discourse  of  them  with  much  warmth  and  engagedness  :  and  lo 
 those,  who  do  not  know,  or  do  not  consider,  wherein  the  essence 
 of  true  religion  consists — viz.  in  being  conformed  to  the  image  of 
 Christ,  not  in  point  of  zeal  and  fervency  only,  but  in  all  divine 
 tempers  and  practices — they  often  appear  like  the  best  of  men." 
 
 It  is  common  with  this  sort  of  people  to  say,  that  "  God  is 
 among  them,  that  his  Spirit  accompanies  their  exhortations,  and 
 other  administrations,  and  that  they  are  sealed  by  the  Holy  Ghost 
 in  the  remarkable  success  which  they  have,  in  the  great  affections 
 which  are  stirred  up  in  God's  people,"  &ic.  and  to  insinuate  on 
 the  contrary,  that  "he  is  not  with  their  opponents;"  and  particu- 
 larly, "  that  God  has  forsaken  the  standing  ministry  ;  that  the  time 
 is  come,  when  it  is  the  will  of  God  that  they  should  be  put  down, 
 and  that  God's  people  should  forsake  them  ;  and  that  no  more 
 success  is  to  be  expected  to  attend  their  adininistrations.''  But 
 where  can  they  find  an  instance,  among  all  their  most  flaming  ex~ 
 horters,  who  Iras  been  sealed  with  so  incontestable  and  wonderful 
 success  of  his  labours,  as  Brainerd,  not  only  in  quickening  and 
 comforting  God's  children,  but  also  in  a  work  of  conviction  and 
 conversion,  which  they  own  has  in  a  great  measure  ceased  for  a 
 long  time  among  themselves,  with  a  most  visible  and  astonishing 
 manifestation  of  God's  power.'*  This,  too,  was  on  subjects,  who 
 were  extremely  unprepared,  and  who  had  been  brought  up  and 
 lived,  some  of  them  to  old  age,  in  the  deepest  prejudices  against 
 the  very  first  principles  of  Christianity  ;  and  yet  we  find  the  di- 
 vine power  accompanying  his  labours,  producing  the  most  re- 
 markable and  abiding  change,  turning  the  wilderness  into  a  fruit- 
 
446  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 ful  field,  and  causing  that  which  was  a  desart  indeed  to  bud  and 
 blossom  as  the  rose  ?  And  this,  although  he  was  not  only  one  of 
 their  greatest  opponents  in  their  errors ;  but  also  one  of  those 
 whom  they  call  the  standing  ministry  ;  first  examined  and  licensed 
 to  preach  by  such  ministers,  and  sent  forth  among  the  Heathen  6y 
 such  ministers;  and  afterwards  ordained  by  such  ministers;  al- 
 ways directed  by  them,  and  united  with  them  in  their  consistories, 
 and  administrations;  and  even  abhorring  the  practice  of  those 
 who  give  out,  that  they  ought  to  be  renounced,  and  separated 
 from,  and  that  teachers  may  be  obtained  by  laymen. 
 
 It  cannot  be  pretended  by  these  men,  that  BraIxVERd  condem- 
 ned their  religion,  merely  because  he  was  not  acquainted  with 
 them,  and  had  not  opportunity  for  full  observation  of  the  nature, 
 operation,  and  tendency  of  their  experiences  ;  for  he  had  abun- 
 dant and  peculiar  opportunities  of  such  observation  and  acquaint- 
 ance. He  lived  through  the  late  extraordinary  time  of  religious 
 commotion,  and  saw  the  beginning  and  end,  the  good  and  the  bad, 
 of  it.  He  had  opportunity  to  see  the  various  operations  and  ef- 
 fects which  were  wrought  in  this  season,  more  extensively  th^n  any 
 person  whom  I  know.  His  native  place  was  near  the  centre  of  Con- 
 necticut ;  and  he  was  much  conversant  in  all  parts  of  that  colony. 
 He  was  conversant  in  the  eastern  parts  of  it.  after  the  religion  which 
 he  condemned  began  much  to  prevail  there.  He  was  conversant 
 with  the  zealous  people  on  Long  island,  from  one  end  of  the  isl- 
 and to  the  other  ;  and  also  in  New-Jersey  and  Pennsylvania;  with 
 people  of  various  nations.  He  had  special  opportunities  in  some 
 places  in  this  province,  (Massachusetts),  where  there  has  been  ve- 
 ry much  of  this  sort  of  religion,  and  at  a  time  when  it  greatly  pre- 
 vailed. He  had  conversed  and  disputed  with  multitudes  of  this 
 sort  of  people  in  various  parts,  as  he  told  me  ;  and  had  seen  some- 
 what of  the  same  appearances  in  some  of  the  Indians,  to  whom  he 
 had  preached  ;  and  had  opportunity  to  see  the  beginning  and  end 
 of  them.  Besides,  Brainerd  could  speak  more  feelingly  con- 
 cerning these  things,  because  there  was  once  a  timt»  when  he  was 
 drawn  away  into  an  esteem  of  them,  and  for  a  short  season  had 
 united  himself  to  this  kind  of  people,  and  partook,  in  some  res- 
 pects, of  their  spirit  and  behaviour.  But  I  proceed  to  another 
 observation  on  the  foregoing  memoirs. 
 
 REFLECTION    II. 
 
 This  history  of  Brainerd,  may  help   us  to  make   distinctions 
 among  the   high   religious  affections  and   remarkable  impressions 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BUAINERD,  447 
 
 made  on  the  minds  of  persons,  in  a  time  of  j^reat  aioakening^  and 
 revival  of  religion;  and  may  convince  us,  that  there  are  not  only 
 distinctions  in  theory^  invented  to  save  the  credit  of  pretended  re- 
 vivals of  religion,  and  what  is  called  the  experience  of  the  opera- 
 tions of  the  Spirit ;  but  distinctions  which  do  actually  take  place 
 in  the  course  of  events,  and  have  a  real  and  evident  foundation  in 
 fact. 
 
 Many  do  and  will  confound  things,  blend  altogether,  and  say, 
 "It  is  all  alike;  it  is  all  of  the  same  sort."  So  there  are  many 
 who  say  concerning  the  religion  most  generally  prevailing  among 
 Separatists,  and  the  affections  which  they  manifest.  "  It  is  the 
 same  that  was  all  over  the  land  seven  years  ago."  And  some  who 
 have  read  Brainerd's  Journal  giving  an  account  of  the  extraor- 
 dinary things  wltich  have  come  to  pass  among  the  Indians  in  New- 
 Jersey,  say,  "  It  is  evidently  the  same  thing  which  appeared  in 
 many  places  among  the  English,  which  has  now  proved  naught, 
 and  come  to  what  is  worse  than  nothing."  The  only  reason 
 which  they  have  thus  to  determine  all  to  be  the  same  ruork,  and  the 
 same  spirit,  is,  that  the  one  manifested  high  affections,  and  so  do 
 the  other;  that  the  great  affections  of  the  one  had  some  influence 
 on  their  bodies,  and  so  have  the  other;  that  the  one  use  the  terms 
 conviction,  conversion^  humiliation^  coming  to  Christ,  discoveries, 
 experiences^  &ic.  and  so  do  the  other;  that  the  impressions  of  the 
 one  are  attended  with  a  great  deal  of  zeal,  and  so  it  is  with  the 
 other;  that  the  affections  of  the  one  dispose  them  to  speak  much 
 about  things  of  religion,  and  so  do  the  other;  and  that  the  one  de- 
 light much  in  religious  met'tin2;s,  and  so  do  the  other.  The 
 agreement  which  appears  in  these,  and  similar  things,  makes  them 
 conclude  that  surely  all  is  alike,  all  is  the  same  work.  Whereas, 
 on  a  closer  inspection  assd  more  critical  examination,  it  would  ap- 
 pear, that  notvvithstandi'.ig  an  agreement  in  such  circumstances, 
 yet,  indeed,  there  is  a  vast  difference,  both  in  essence  and/rmV^. 
 A  considerable  part  of  the  religious  operations  that  were  six  or 
 sev^en  years  ago,  especially  towards  the  latter  part  of  that  extra- 
 ordinary season,  was  doubtless  of  the  same  sort  with  the  religion 
 of  the  Separatists;  but  not  all :  there  were  many  whose  experi- 
 ences were  like  Brainerd's,  in  a  judgment  of  charity,  genuine 
 and  incontestible. 
 
 Noi.  only  do  the  opposers  of  all  religion  which  consists  in  pow- 
 erful operations  and  affections,  tlius  confound  things;  but  many 
 of  the  pretenders  to  such  religion  do  the  same.  They  who  have 
 been  the  subjects  of  some  sort  of  veheme  it,  but  vain  operations 
 on  their  minds,  when  they  hear  the  experiences  of  some  real  and 
 eminent  Christians,  related,  say,  that  their  experiences  are  of  the 
 
14B  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINEKD. 
 
 same  sort;  and  that  ihey  are  just  like  the  experiences  of  eminent 
 christians  in  former  times,  of  which  we  have  printed  accounts. 
 So,  I  doubt  not,  but  that  there  are  many  dehided  people,  who 
 reading  the  preceding  account  of  Brainerd's  Hfe,  without  much 
 und(^rstanding  or  careful  observation,  would  say  without  hesita- 
 tion, that  some  things  which  they  have  met  with,  are  of  the  very 
 same  kind  with  what  he  expresses  ;  when  the  agreement  is  only 
 in  some  general  circumstances,  or  some  particular  things  which 
 are  superncial,  and  belonging  as  it  were  to  the  profession  and  out- 
 side of  religion;  but  thi?  inward  temper  of  mind,  and  the  fruits  in 
 practice,  are  as  opposite  and  distant  as  east  and  west. 
 
 Many  honest,  good  people  also,  and  true  Christians,  do  not  very 
 well  know  how  to  make  a  difference.  The  ghstering  appearance 
 of  false  religioii  dazzles  their  eyes;  and  they  sometimes  are  so 
 deluded  by  it.  that  they  look  on  some  of  these  impressions,  which 
 hypocrites  tell  of,  as  the  brightest  experiences.  And  though  they 
 have  experienced  no  such  things  themselves,  they  think,  it  is  be- 
 cause they  are  vastly  lower  in  attainments,  and  but  babes  in  com- 
 parison of  these  flaming  christians.  Yea,  sometimes  from  their 
 differing  so  much  from  those  who  make  so  great  a  show,  they 
 doubt  whether  they  have  any  grace  at  all.  And  it  is  a  hard  thing, 
 to  bring  many  well  meaning  people  to  make  proper  distinctions  in 
 this  case;  and  especially  to  maintain  and  stand  by  them.  Through 
 a  certain  weakness,  under  wliich  they  unhappily  labour,  ♦hey  are 
 liable  to  be  overcome  with  the  glare  of  outward  appearances. 
 Tlm^,  if  in  a  sedate  hour,  they  are  by  reasoning  brought  to  allow 
 such  and  such  distinctions,  yet  the  iicxt  time  they  come  in  the 
 way  of  the  great  show  of  fair^e  religion,  ilie  dazslin.j^  appea' ance 
 swallows  them  up,  and  lliey  are  carried  away.  ThiJs  the  devil  by 
 his  cunning  artifices,  easily  dazzles  the  sight  of  men,  and  puts 
 rhem  beyond  a  capacity  of  a  prf)}>cr  exercise  of  consideration, 
 or  hearkening  to  the  dictates  of  calm  thought,  and  cool  under- 
 standing. When  they  perceive  t'le  great  affection,  earnest  talk, 
 strong  voice,  assured  looks,  vast  confidence,  and  hold  asseriions, 
 of  tliese  empty,  assuming  pretenders  they  are  overborne,  lose  the 
 possession  of  their  judgment,  and  say,  "Surely  these  men  are  in 
 the  right;  God  is  with  them  of  a  truth  ;"  \i^6  so  they  are  carried 
 away,  not  with  light  and  reason,  but,  like  children,  as  it  were  with 
 a  strong  wind. 
 
 This  confounding  of  all  things  together,  which  hr.ve  a  fair 
 shew,  is  but  acting  the  part  of  a  child,  vlio  going  into  a  shop,  vvhere 
 a  variety  of  wares  ai»3  exposed  to  sale — aJl  of  a  shining  appear- 
 ance ;  vessels  of  gold  an-!  silver;  diamonds  and  other  precious 
 stones ;  toys   of  little  value,  which   are   of  some  base  metal  gih  ; 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  449 
 
 glass  polished  and  painted  with  some  curious  colors,  or  cut  like 
 diamonds,  &tc. — should  esteem  all  alike,  and  give  as  great  a  price 
 for  the  vile  as  for  the  precious.  Or  it  is  like  the  conduct  of  some 
 unskilful,  rash  person,  who,  finding  himself  deceived  by  some  of 
 the  wares  which  he  had  bought  at  that  shop,  should  at  once  con- 
 clude that  all  which  he  there  saw  was  of  no  value;  and  pursuant 
 to  such  a  conclusion,  when  afterwards  he  has  true  gold  and  dia- 
 monds offered  him,  enough  to  enrich  him  and  enable  him  to  live 
 iike  a  prince  all  his  days,  he  should  throw  it  all  into  the  sea. 
 
 But  we  must  get  into  another  way.  The  want  of  distinguish- 
 ing in  things  which  appertain  to  experimental  religion,  is  one  of 
 the  chief  miseries  of  the  professing  world.  It  is  attended  with 
 very  many  most  dismal  consequences ;  multitudes  of  souls  are 
 fatally  deluded  about  themselves,  and  their  own  state  ;  and  thus 
 are  eternally  undone.  Hypocrites  are  confirmed  in  their  delu- 
 sions, and  exceedingly  puffed  up  with  pride;  many  sincere 
 christians  are  dreadfully  perplexed,  darkened,  tempted^  and  drawn 
 aside  from  the  way  of  duty  ;  and  sometimes  sadly  tainted  with 
 false  religion,  to  the  great  dishonour  of  Christianity,  and  hurt  of 
 their  own  souls.  Sojne  of  the  most  dangerous  and  perniciOus 
 enemies  of  religion  in  the  world,  [though  called  bright  christians] 
 are  encouraged  and  honoured,  who  ought  to  be  discountenanced 
 and  shunned  by  every  body;  and  prejudices  are  begotten  and 
 confirmed  in  vast  multitudes,  against  every  thing  in  which  the 
 power  and  essence  of  godliness  consists;  and  in  the  end,  Deism^ 
 and  Atheism  are  promoted. 
 
 REFLECTION    III. 
 
 The  foregoing  account  of  Brainerd's  life  may  Convince  us, 
 that  there  is  indeed  such  a  thing  as  true  experimental  religion, 
 arising  from  an  immediate  divine  influence,  supernaturally  en- 
 lightening and  convincing  the  mind,  and  powerfully  impressing, 
 quickening,  sanctifying,  and  governing  the  heart ;  which  religion 
 is  indeed  an  amiable  thing,  of  happy  tendency,  and  of  no  hurtful 
 consequence  to  human  society ;  notwithstanding  there  having 
 been  so  many  pretences  and  appearances  of  what  is  called  exper- 
 imental, vital  religion,  which  have  proved  to  be  nothing  but  vain, 
 pernicious  enthusiasm. 
 
 If  any  insist,  that  Brainerd's  religion  was  mere  enthusiasm, 
 the  result  of  a  heated  imagination,  I  would  ask.  What  were  tha 
 fruits  of  his  enthusiasm  ?  In  him  we  behold  a  great  degree  of 
 honesty  and  simplicity  ;  sincere  and  earnest  desires  and  endeav- 
 ours to  know  and  do  whatever  is  right,  and  to  avoid  every  thing 
 
 57 
 
450  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 that  is  wrong  ;  a  high  degree  of  love  to  God  ;  delight  in  the  per- 
 fections of  his  nature,  placing  the  happiness  of  life  in  him,  not  on- 
 ly in  contemplating  him,  but  in  being  active  in  pleasing,  and  ser- 
 ving him  ;  a  firm  and  undoubting  belief  in  the  Messiah,  as  the 
 Saviour  of  the  world,  the  great  Prophet  of  God,  and  King  of  the 
 diurch,  together  with  great  love  to  him,  delight  and  complacence 
 in  the  way  of  salvation  by  him,  and  longing  for  the  enlargement 
 of  his  kingdom  ;  earnest  desires  that  God  may  be  glorified  and 
 the  Messiah's  kingdom  advanced,  whatever  instruments  are  em- 
 ployed ;  uncommon  resignation  to  the  will  of  God,  and  that  under 
 vast  trials  ;  and  great  and  universal  benevolence  to  mankind, 
 reaching  all  sorts  of  persons  without  distinction,  manifested  in 
 sweetness  of  speech  and  behaviour,  kind  treatment,  mercy,  lib- 
 erality, and  earnest  seeking  the  good  of  the  souls  and  bodies  of 
 men.  All  this  we  behold  attended  with  extraordinary  humility, 
 meekness,  forgiveness  of  injuries,  and  love  to  enemies,  and  a  great 
 abhorrence  of  a  contrary  spirit  and  practice  ;  not  only  as  appear- 
 ing in  others,  but  in  himself;  causing  the  most  bitter  repentance, 
 and  brokenness  of  heart  on  account  of  any  past  instances  of  such 
 a  conduct.  In  him  we  see  a  modest,  discreet,  and  decent  de- 
 portment, among  superiors,  inferiors,  and  equals  ;  a  most  diligent 
 improvement  of  time  ;  earnest  care  to  lose  no  part  of  it  ;  and 
 great  watchfulness  against  all  sorts  of  sin,  of  heart,  speech,  and 
 action.  This  example  and  these  endeavours  we  see  attended  with 
 most  happy  fruits,  and  blessed  effects  on  others^  in  humanizing, 
 civilizing,  and  wonderfully  reforming  and  transforming  some  of 
 the  most  brutish  savages  ;  idle,  immoral,  drunkards,  murderers, 
 gross  idolaters,  and  wizards  ;  bringing  them  to  permanent  so- 
 briety, diligence,  devotion,  honesty,  conscientiousness,  and  char- 
 ity. The  foregoing  virtues  and  successful  labours,  all  end  at  last 
 in  a  marvellous  peace,  immovable  stability,  calmness,  and  resig- 
 nation, in  the  sensible  approaches  of  death  ;  with  longing  for  the 
 heavenly  state  ;  not  only  for  the  honours  and  circumstantial  ad- 
 vantages of  it,  but  above  all,  for  the  moral  perfection^  ^\\A\\o\y 
 and  blessed  employments  of  it.  These  things  are  seen  in  a  per- 
 son indisputably  of  good  understanding  and  judgment.  I  there- 
 fore say,  if  all  these  things  are  the  fruits  oi  enthusiasm^  why  s\\o\i\d. 
 not  enthusiasm  be  thought  a  desirable  and  excellent  thing?  For 
 what  can  true  religion,  what  can  the  best  philosophy,  do  more  ? 
 If  vapours  and  fanaticism  will  bring  men  to  the  most  thorough 
 virtue,  to  the  most  benign  and  fruitful  morality;  and  will  main- 
 tain it  through  a  course  of  life  attended  with  many  trials,  without 
 affectation  or  self-exaltation,  and  with  an  earnest,  constant  testi- 
 mony against  the  wildness,  the  extravagances,  the  bitter  zeal,  as- 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BKAINERD.  461 . 
 
 suming  behaviour,  and  separating  spirit  of  enthusiast^  ;  and  will 
 do  all  this  more  effectually,  than  any  thing  else  has  ever  been 
 done  in  any  plain  knov^^n  instance  that  can  be  produced  :  vv^hat 
 cause  then  has  the  world  to  prize  and  to  pray  for  these  benignva- 
 pours^  and  this  blessed  fanaticism. 
 
 It  would  p<irhaps  be  a  prejudice  with  some  against  the  whole 
 of  Brainerd's  religion,  if  it  had  begun  in  the  time  of  the  late  reli- 
 gious commotion  y  being  ready  to  conclude,  however  unreasona- 
 ble, that  nothing  good  could  take  its  rise  from  those  times.  But  it 
 was  not  so  ;  his  conversion  was  before  that  event,  in  a  time  of 
 general  deadness  ;  and  therefore  at  a  season  when  it  was  impossi- 
 ble, that  he  should  receive  a  taint  from  any  corrupt  notions,  ex- 
 amples, or  customs,  which  originated  at  that  period. 
 
 There  are  many,  who  are  not  professed  opposers  oi  eocperimen- 
 tal  religion^  who  yet  doubt  its  reality  from  the  bad  lives  of  some 
 professors  ;  and  are  ready  to  determine  that  there  is  nothing  in  re- 
 generation,  self- abasement,  and  a  cordial  acceptance  of  Christ  ;  be- 
 cause many  who  pretend  to  these  things,  and  are  thought  by  oth- 
 ers to  have  been  the  subjects  of  them,  manifest  no  abiding  altera- 
 tion in  their  moral  disposition  and  behaviour,  are  as  careless,  car- 
 nal, and  covetous,  as  ever  ;  yea,  some  much  worse  than  ever.  It 
 is  to  be  acknowledged  and  lamented,  that  this  is  the  case  with 
 some  ;  but  by  the  preceding  account  they  must  be  sensible,  that 
 it  is  not  so  with  all.  There  are  some  indisputable  instances  of 
 such  a  change,  as  the  scripture  speaks  of;  an  abiding  great 
 change,  a  "renovation  of  the  spirit  of  the  mind,"  and  a  walking 
 in  newness  of  life."  In  the  foregoing  instance  particularly,  they 
 may  see  the  abiding  influence  of  such  a  work  of  conversion,  as 
 they  have  heard  of  from  the  word  of  God  ;  the  fruits  of  such  ex- 
 periences through  a  course  of  years  ;  under  a  great  variety  of 
 circumstances,  many  changes  of  state,  place,  and  company;  and 
 may  see  the  blessed  issue  and  event  of  it  in  life  and  death. 
 
 REFLECTION    IV, 
 
 The  preceding  history  serves  to  confirm  those  doctrines  usually 
 called  the  doctrines  of  grace.  For  if  it  be  allowed  that  there  is 
 truth,  substance,  or  value  in  the  main  of  Brainerd's  religion,  it 
 will  undoubtedly  follow,  that  those  doctrines  are  divine  ;  since  it 
 is  evident,  that  the  whole  of  it  from  beginning  to  end,  is  accor- 
 ding to  that  scheme  of  things  ;  all  built  on  those  apprehensions, 
 notions  and  views,  which  are  produced  and  established  in  the  mind 
 by  those  doctrines.  He  was  brought  by  doctrines  of  this  kind  to  his 
 awakening,  and  deep  concern  about  things  of  a  spiritual  and  eter- 
 
452  ME3I01KS  OF  BRAINERD, 
 
 nal  nature  ;  by  these  doctrines  his  convictions  were  maintamed 
 and  carried  on  ;  and  his  conversion  was  evidently  altogether 
 agreeable  to  this  schenne,  but  by  no  means  agreeing  with  tlie  con- 
 trary, and  utterly  inconsistent  with  the  Arnr/inian  notion  of  con- 
 version or  repentance.  His  conversion  was  plainly  founded  in  a 
 clear  strong  conviction,  and  undoubting  persuasion  of  the  truth 
 of  those  things  appertaining  to  these  doctrines,  against  which  Ar- 
 minians  most  object,  and  about  which  liis  own  mind  had  contend- 
 ed most.  His  conversion  was  no  confirming  and  perfecting  of 
 moral  principles  and  habits,  by  use  and  practice,  and  industrious 
 discipline,  together  with  the  concurring  suggestions  and  conspir- 
 ing aids  of  God's  Spirit  ;  but  entirely  a  supernatural  work,  at 
 once  turning  him  from  darkness  to  marvellous  light,  and  from  the 
 power  of  sin  to  the  dominion  of  divine  and  holy  principles.  It 
 was  an  effect,  in  no  respect  produced  by  his  strength  or  labour, 
 or  obtained  by  his  virtue  ;  atid  not  accomplished  till  he  was  first 
 brought  to  a  full  conviction,  that  all  his  own  virtue,  strength,  la- 
 bours, and  endeavours,  could  never  avail  any  thing  towards  pro- 
 ducing or  procuring  this  effect. 
 
 A  very  little  while  before,  his  mind  was  full  of  the  same  cavils 
 against  the  doctrines  of  God's  sovereign  grace,  which  are  made 
 by  Armenians;  and  his  heart  full  even  of  opposition  to  them. 
 God  was  pleased  to  perform  this  good  work  in  him,  just  after  a 
 full  end  had  been  put  to  this  cavilling  and  opposition  ;  and  after 
 he  v»'as  entirely  convinced,  that  lie  was  dead  in  sin,  and  was  in 
 the  hands  of  God,  as  the  absolutely  sovereign,  unobliged,  sole 
 disposer  and  author  of  true  holiness.  God's  shewing  him  mercy 
 at  such  a  time,  is  a  confirmation,  that  this  was  a  preparation  for 
 mercy;  and  consequently,  that  these  things  which  he  was  con- 
 vinced of,  were  true.  While  he  opposed,  he  was  the  subject  of 
 no  such  mercy  ;  though  he  so  earnestly  sought  it,  and  prayed  for 
 it  with  so  much  care,  and  strictness  in  religion  ;  but  when  once 
 his  opposition  is  fully  subdued,  and  he  is  brought  to  submit  to  the 
 truths,  which  he  before  had  opposed,  with  full  conviction,  then 
 the  mercy  he  sought  for  is  granted,  with  abundant  light,  great 
 evidence,  and  exceeding  joy  ;  and  he  reaps  the  sweet  fruit  of  it 
 all  his  life  after,  and  in  the  valley  of  the  shadow  of  death. 
 
 In  his  conversion,  he  was  brought  to  see  the  glory  of  that  way 
 of  salvation  by  Christ,  which  is  taught  in  what  are  called  the  doc- 
 trines of  grace ;  and  thenceforward,  with  unspeakable  joy  and 
 complacence,  to  embrace  and  acquiesce  in  that  way  of  salvation. 
 He  was,  in  his  conversion,  in  all  respects,  brought  to  those  views, 
 and  that  state  of  mind,  which  these  doctrines  shew  to  be  neces- 
 sary.    If  his   conversion  was   any  real   conversion,  or  any  thing 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  453 
 
 beside  a  mere  whim;  and  if  the  religion  of  his  life  was  any  thing 
 else  but  the  freaks  of  a  bewildered  fancy  ;  then  this  one  grand 
 principle,  on  which  depends  the  whole  difference  between  Cal- 
 vinists  and  Arminians,  is  undeniable,  viz.  that  the  grace  or  vir- 
 tue of  truly  good  men,  not  only  differs  from  the  virtue  of  others 
 in  degree,  but  even  \n  7mtnre  s.nd  kiiid.  If  ever  Brainerd  was 
 truly  turned  from  sin  to  God  at  all,  or  ever  became  truly  reli- 
 gious ;  none  can  reasonably  doubt  but  that  his  cdnversioD  was  at 
 the  time  when  he  supposed  it  to  be.  The  change  which  he  then 
 met  with,  was  evidently  the  greatest  moral  change  that  he  ever 
 experienced  ;  and  he  was  then  apparently  ftrst  brought  to  that 
 kind  of  religion,  that  remarkable  new  habit  and  temper  of  mind, 
 which  he  held  all  his  life  after.  The  narration  shews  it  to  be  dif- 
 ferent, in  nature  and  kind,  from  all  of  which  he  was  ever  the  sub- 
 ject before.  It  was  evidently  wrought  at  once  without  fitting  and 
 preparing  his  mind,  by  gradually  convincing  it  more  a-id  more  of 
 the  same  truths,  and  bringing  it  nearer  and  nearer  to  such  a  tem- 
 per. It  was  soon  after  his  mind  had  been  remarkably  full  of 
 blasphemy,  and  a  vehement  exercise  of  sensible  enmity  against 
 God,  and  great  opposition  to  those  truths  which  he  was  now 
 brought  with  his  whole  soul  to  embrace,  and  rest  in  as  divine  and 
 glorious  ;  truths,  in  the  contemplation  and  improvement  of  which, 
 he  placed  his  happiness.  He  himself,  who  was  surely  best  able 
 to  judge,  declares,  that  the  dispositions  and  affections,  which 
 were  then  given  him  and  thenceforward  maintained  in  him,  were 
 most  sensibly  and  certainly,  altogether  different  in  theirn«/wre, 
 from  all  of  which  he  was  ever  the  subject  before,  or  of  which  he 
 ever  had  any  conception.  In  this  he  was  peremptory,  even  to 
 his  death.  He  must  be  looked  upon  as  capable  of  judging;  he 
 had  opportunity  to  know  ;  he  had  practised  a  great  deal  of  reli- 
 gion before,  was  exceedingly  strict  and  conscientious,  and  had 
 continued  so  for  a  long  time  ;  and  had  various  religious  affec- 
 tions, with  which  he  often  flattered  himself,  and  sometimes  pleas- 
 ed himself  as  being  now  in  a  good  estate.  After  he  had  those 
 new  experiences,  which  began  in  his  conversion,  they  were  con- 
 tinued to  the  end  of  his  life  ;  long  enough  for  him  thoroughly  to 
 observe  their  nature,  and  compare  them  with  what  had  been  be- 
 fore. Doubtless  he  was  compos  mentis  ;  and  was  at  least  one  of 
 so  good  an  understanding  and  judgment,  as  to  be  pretty  well  capa- 
 ble of  discerning  and  comparing  the  things  which  passed  in  his 
 own  mind. 
 
 It  is  further  observable,  that  his  religion  all  along  operated  in 
 such  a  manner  as  tended  to  confirm  his  mind  in  the  doctrines  of 
 God's  absolute  sovereignty,  man's  universal  and  entire  depen- 
 dence on  God's  power  and  grace,  &c.     The  more  his  religion  pre- 
 
454  MEMOIRS^  OF  BRAINEKD. 
 
 vailed  in  his  heart,  and  the  fuller  he  was  of  divine  love,  and  oi 
 clear  and  delightful  views  of  spiritual  things,  and  the  more  his 
 heart  was  engaged  in  God's  service  ;  the  more  sensible  he  was  of 
 the  certainty  and  the  excellency  and  importance  of  these  truths, 
 and  the  more  he  was  affected  with  them,  and  rejoiced  in  them. 
 He  declares  particularly,  that,  when  he  lay  for  a  long  while  on 
 the  verge  of  the  eternal  world,  often  expecting  to  be  in  that 
 world  in  a  few  minutes,  yet  at  the  same  time  enjoying  great  se- 
 renity of  mind,  and  clearness  of  thought,  and  being  most  appar- 
 ently in  a  peculiar  manner  at  a  distance  from  an  enthusiastical 
 frame  ;  he  "  at  that  time  saw  clearly  the  truth  of  those  great  doc- 
 trines of  the  gospel,  which  are  justly  stiled  the  doctrines  of  grace, 
 and  never  felt  himself  so  capable  of  demonstrating  the  truth  of 
 them." 
 
 Hence  it  is  very  evident,  that  Brainerd's  religion  was  wholly 
 correspondent  to  what  is  called  the  Calvi?iisiic  scheme,  and  was 
 the  etFect  of  those  doctrines  applied  to  his  heart:  and  certainly 
 it  cannot  be  denied,  that  the  effect  was  good,  unless  we  turn 
 Athiesls,  or  Deists. — I  would  ask,  whether  there  be  any  such 
 thing,  in  reality,  as  christian  devotion.^  If  there  be,  what  is  it? 
 — What  is  its  nature? — and  What  its  just  measure?  Should  it 
 not  be  in  a  greait  degree  P — We  read  abundantly  in  scripture  of 
 *'  loving  God  with  all  the  heart,  with  all  the  soul,  with  all  the 
 mind,  and  with  all  the  strength  ;  of  delighting  in  God,  of  rejoicing 
 in  the  Lord,  rejoicing  with  joy  unspeakable  and  full  of  glory  ; 
 the  soul  magnifying  the  Lord,  thirsting  for  God,  hungering  and 
 thirsting  after  righteousness  ;  the  soul  breaking  for  the  longing  it 
 ha(h  to  God's  judgments,  praying  to  God  with  groanings  that  can- 
 not be  uttered,  mourning  for  sin  with  a  broken  heart  and  con- 
 trite spirit,''  &c.  How  full  is  the  book  of  Psalms,  and  other  parts 
 of  scri[)turc,  of  such  things  as  these  !  Now  wherein  do  these 
 things,  as  expressed  by  and  appearing  in  BraIiVerd,  either  the 
 things  themselves,  or  their  effects  and  fruits,  differ  from  the 
 scripture  representations  ?  To  these  things  he  was  brought  by 
 that  strange  and  wonderful  transformation  of  the  man,  which  he 
 called  his  conversion.  Does  not  this  well  agree  with  what  is  so 
 often  said  in  the  Old  Testament  and  the  New,  concerning  "giv- 
 ing a  new  heart,  creating  a  right  spirit,  being  renewed  in  the 
 spirit  of  the  mind,  being  sanctified  throughout,  becoming  a  new 
 creature.^"  Szc.  Now  where  is  there  to  be  found  an  Arminiao 
 conversion  or  repentance,  consisting  in  so  great  and  admirable  a 
 change  ?  Can  the  Arminians  produce  an  instance,  within  this 
 age,  and  so  plainly  within  our  reach  and  view.,  of  such  a  refor- 
 mation, such  a  transformation  of  a  man  to  scriptural  devotion, 
 heavenly  mindedness,  and  true  christian  morality,  in  one  who  be- 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  4^ 
 
 fore  lived  without  these  things,  on  the  basis  of  their  principles^ 
 and  through  the  influence  of  their  doctrines  ? 
 
 Here  we  ought  to  consider  the  effect  of  these  doctrines  not  onl  j 
 on  Brainerd  himself,  but  also  on  others,  whom  he  taught.  It 
 is  abundantly  pretended  and  asserted  of  late,  that  these  doctrines 
 tend  to  undermine  the  very  foundations  of  all  religion  and  morali- 
 ty, and  to  enervate  and  vacate  all  reasonable  motives  to  the  ex- 
 ercise and  practice  of  them  ;  and  lay  invincible  stumbling-blocks 
 before  infidels,  to  hinder  their  embracing  Christianity  ;  and  that 
 the  contrary  doctrines  are  the  fruitful  principles  of  virtue  and 
 goodness,  set  religion  on  its  right  basis,  represent  it  in  an  amia- 
 ble light,  give  its  motives  their  full  force,  and  recommend  it  t& 
 the  reason  and  common  sense  of  mankind. — But  where  can  they 
 find  an  instance  of  so  great  and  signal  an  effect  of  their  doctrines, 
 in  bringing  infidels,  who  were  at  such  a  distance  from  all  that  is 
 civil,  sober,  rational,  and  christian,  and  so  full  of  inveterate  pre- 
 judices against  these  things,  to  such  a  degree  of  humanity,  civili- 
 ty, exercise  of  reason,  self-denial,  and  christian  virtue  ?  Ar- 
 minians  place  religion  in  morality.  Let  them  then  bring  an  in- 
 stance of  their  doctrines  producing  such  a  transformation  of  a 
 people  in  point  o(morality.  It  is  strange,  if  the  all-wise  God  so 
 orders  things  in  his  providence,  that  reasonable  and  proper  rneansj 
 and  his  own  means  which  he  himself  has  appointed,  should  in  no 
 known  remarkable  instance  be  instrumental  to  produce  so  good 
 an  effect :  an  effect  so  agreeable  to  his  own  word  and  mind,  and 
 that  very  effect  for  which  he  appointed  these  excellent  means  ; 
 that  they  should  not  be  so  successful,  as  those  means  which  are 
 not  his  own,  but  very  contrary  to  them,  and  of  a  contrary  tenden- 
 cy ;  means  that  are  in  themselves  very  absurd,  and  tend  to  root 
 all  religion  and  virtue  out  of  the  world,  to  promote  and  establish 
 infidelity,  and  to  lay  an  insuperable  stumbling-block  before  Pa- 
 gans, to  hinder  their  embracing  the  gospel  :  I  saj',  if  this  be  the 
 true  state  of  the  case,  it  is  certainly  wonderful,  and  an  event 
 worthy  of  some  attention. 
 
 I  know,  that  many  will  be  ready  to  say,  "  It  is  too  soon  yet  to 
 glory  in  the  work,  which  has  been  wrought  among  Brainerd's 
 Indians  ;  it  is  best  to  wait  and  see  the  final  event ;  it  may  be,  all 
 will  come  to  nothing  by  and  by."  To  which  I  answer,  not  to  in- 
 sist, that  it  will  not  follow,  according  to  Arminian  principles,  that 
 they  are  not  now  true  christians,  really  pious  and  godly,  though 
 they  should  fnW  away  and  come  to  nothing,  that  I  never  supposed, 
 every  one  of  those  Indians,  who  in  profession,  renounced  their 
 Heathenism  and  visibly  embraced  Christianity,  and  have  had 
 some  appearance  o  piety,  will  finally  prove  true  converts.  If 
 two  thirds,  or  indeed  one  half  of  them,  as  great  a  proportion   as 
 
466  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 there  is  in  the  parable   of  the   ten  virgins,  should  persevere  ;  it 
 will  h'l  surlicient  to  shew  the  work  wrought   among  them  to  have 
 been  truly  admirable  and  glorious.     But  so  much  of  permanence 
 of  their   religion    has  already  appeared,  as  shews   it  to  be  some- 
 thing else  besides  an  Indian  humour  or  good  mood,  or  any  tran- 
 sient effect  in  the  conceits,  notions,  and  affections  of  these  igno- 
 rant people,   excited  at  a  particular  crisis,  by  artful  management. 
 It  is  now  na-ore  than  three  years  ago,  that  this  work  began  among 
 them,  a.id  a  remarkable  change  appeared  in  many  of  them  ;  since 
 which  time  the  number  of  visible  converts   has  greatly  increased  : 
 and  by  repeated  accounts,  from  several  hands,  they  still  general- 
 ly persevere  in  diligent  religion  and  strict  virtue.     I  think,  a  letter 
 from  a   young  gentleman,  a  candidate   for  the  ministry,  one  of 
 those  before    mentioned,  appointed  by  the  honourable   commis- 
 sioners in  Boston,  as  missionaries  to  the  Heathen  of  the  Six  Na- 
 tions^  worthy  of  insertion  here.     He,  by  their  order,  dwelt  with 
 Mr.   John   Brainerd    among  these  Christian   Indians,  in  order  to 
 their  being  prepared  for  the  business  of  their  mission.     The  letter, 
 was  written    from   thence,  to  his  parents   here  in  Northampton, 
 and  is  as  follows  : — 
 
 Bethel,  J^ew- Jersey,  Jan,  14,    1748. 
 Honoured  and  dear  Parents, 
 
 "  After  a  long  and  uncomfortable  journey,  by  reason  of  bad 
 weather,  I  arrived  at  Mr.  Brainerd's,  the  sixth  instant ;  where  I 
 design  to  stay  this  winter  :  and  as  yet,  upon  many  accounts,  am 
 well  satisfied  with  my  coming  hither.  The  state  and  circum- 
 stances of  the  Indians,  spiritual  and  temporal,  much  exceed  what 
 I  expected.  1  have  endeavoured  to  acquaint  myself  with  the 
 state  of  the  Indians  in  general,  with  particular  persons,  and  with 
 the  school,  as  much  as  the  short  time  1  have  been  here  would  ad- 
 mit. Notwithstanding  my  expectations  were  very  much  raised, 
 from  Mr.  David  Brainerd's  Journal,  and  from  particular  infor- 
 mation from  him  ;  yet  I  must  confess,  that  in  many  respects,  they 
 are  not  equal  to  that  which  now  appears  to  me  to  be  true,  con- 
 cerning the  glorious  work  of  divine  grace  among  the  Indians. 
 
 "  The  evening  after  I  came  to  town,  I  had  opportunity  to  see 
 the  Indians  together,  while  the  Rev.  Mr.  Arthur  preached  to 
 them  :  at  which  time  there  appeared  a  very  general  and  uncom- 
 mon seriousness  and  solemnity  in  the  congregation.  This  ap- 
 peared to  me  to  be  the  effect  of  an  inward  sense  of  the  importance 
 of  divine  truths,  and  not  because  they  were  hearing  a  stranger; 
 which  was  abundantly  confirmed  to  me  the  next  Sabbath,  when 
 there  was  the  «ame  devout   attendance  on  divine  service,  and  a 
 
MExMOIRS  OF  BKALVERD.  457 
 
 surprising  solemnity  appearing  in  the  performance  of  each  part  of 
 divine  worship.  Some,  who  are  hopefully  true  christians,  ap- 
 pear to  have  been  at  that  time  much  enlivened  and  comforted  ; 
 not  from  any  observable  commotions  then,  but  from  conversa- 
 tion afterwards  ;  and  others  seemed  to  be  under  pressing  concern 
 for  their  souls.  I  have  endeavoured  to  acquaint  myself  with  par- 
 ticular persons  ;  many  of  whom  seem  to  be  very  humble  and 
 growing  christians;  although  some  of  them,  as  lam  informed, 
 were  before  their  conversion  most  monstrously  wicked. 
 
 '*  Religious  conversation  seems  to  be  very  pleasing  and  delight- 
 ful to  many,  and  especially  that  which  relates  to  the  exercises  of 
 the  heart.  And  many  here  do  not  seem  to  be  real  christians  only, 
 but  growing  christians  also  ;  as  well  in  doctrinal,  as  experimental 
 knowledge.  Beside  my  conversation  with  particular  persons,  I 
 have  had  opportunity  to  attend  upon  one  of  Mr.  Brai^jerd's  cate- 
 chetical lectures  ;  where  I  was  surprised  at  their  readiness  in  an- 
 swering questions  to  which  they  had  not  been  used  ;  although 
 Mr.  Brainerd  complained  much  of  their  uncommon  deficiency. 
 It  is  surprising  to  see  this  people,  who  not  long  since  were  led 
 captive  by  Satan  at  his  will,  and  living  in  the  practice  of  all  man- 
 ner of  abominations,  without  the  least  sense  even  of  moral  hon- 
 esty, yet  now  living  soberly  and  regularly,  and  not  seeking  every 
 man  his  own,  but  every  man,  in  some  sense,  his  neighbour's  good  ; 
 and  to  see  those,  who  but  a  little  while  past,  knew  nothing  of  the 
 true  God,  now  worshipping  him  in  a  solemn  and  devout  manner; 
 not  only  in  public,  but  in  their  families,  and  in  secret;  which  is 
 manifestly  the  case,  it  being  a  difficult  thing  to  walk  out  in  the 
 woods  in  the  morning,  without  disturbing  persons  at  their  secret 
 devotion.  It  seems  wonderful,  that  this  should  be  the  case,  not 
 only  with  adult  persons,  but  with  children  also.  It  is  observable 
 here,  that  many  children,  [if  not  the  children  in  general]  retire  in- 
 to secret  places  to  pray.  And,  as  far  as  at  present,  1  can  judge, 
 this  is  not  the  effect  of  custom  and  fashion,  but  of  real  seriousness 
 and  thoughtfulness  about  their  souls. 
 
 "I  have  frequently  gone  into  the  school,  and  have  spent  con- 
 siderable time  there  amongst  the  children  ;  and  have  been  sur- 
 prized to  see,  not  only  their  diligent  attendance  upon  the  business 
 of  the  school,  but  also  ihe  proficiency  they  have  made  in  it,  in 
 reading  and  writing,  and  in  their  catechisms  of  divers  sorts.  It 
 seems  to  be  as  pleasing  and  as  natural  to  these  children  to  have 
 books  in  their  hands,  as  it  does  for  many  others  to  be  at  play.  I 
 have  gone  into  a  house  where  there  has  been  a  number  of  chil- 
 dren accidentally  gathered  together;  and  observed  that  every  one 
 had  his  book  in  his  hand,  and  was   diligently  studying  it.     About 
 
 58 
 
458  MExMOIRS  OF  BRAlNEIxD. 
 
 thirty  of  these  children,  can  answer  all  the  questions  in  the  as- 
 sembly's catechism;  and  the  greater  part  of  them  are  able  to  do 
 it  with  the  proofs,  to  the  fourth  commandment.  1  wish  there 
 were  many  such  schools;  I  confess,  that  1  never  was  acquainted 
 with  such  an  one,  in  many  respicts.  Oh  that  what  God  has  done 
 here,  may  prove  to  be  the  beginning  of  a  far  more  glorious  and 
 extensive  work  of  grace  among  the  Heathen  ! 
 
 "  I  am  your  obedieat  and  dutiful  son, 
 
 -JOB  STRONG. 
 
 "  P.  S.  Since  the  date  of  this,  I  have  had  an  opportunity  to  at- 
 tend upon  another  os"  Mr.  Brainerd's  catechetical  lectures  :  and 
 truly  1  was  convmced,  that  Mr.  Brainerd  did  not  complain  be- 
 fore of  his  people's  defects  in  answering  to  questions  proposed, 
 without  reason;  for  although  their  answers  at  that  time  exceeded 
 my  expectations  very  much;  yet  their  performances  at  this  lec- 
 ture very  much  exceeded  them." 
 
 Since  this,  we  have  had  accounts  from  time  to  time,  and  some 
 very  late,  which  shew  that  religion  still  continues  in  prosperous 
 and  most  desirable  circumstances  among  these  Indians. 
 
 REFLECTION  V. 
 
 Is  there  not  much  in  the  preceding  memoirs  of  Brainerd  to 
 teach,  and  excite  to  duty,  us  who  are  called  to  the  v/ork  of  the 
 ministry  and  all  who  are  candidates  for  that  great  work  ?  What  a 
 deep  ser.se  did  he  seem  to  have  of  the  greatness  and  importance 
 of  that  work,  and  witii  what  weight  did  it  lie  on  his  mind!  How" 
 sensible  w^as  he  of  his  own  insufficiency  for  this  work;  and  how- 
 great  was  his  dependence  on  God's  sufficiency  !  How  solicitous, 
 that  he  might  be  fitted  for  it !  and  to  this  end,  how  much  time  did 
 lie  spend  in  prayer  and  fasting,  as  well  as  reading  and  meditation  : 
 giving  himself  to  these  things!  How  did  he  dedicate  his  whole 
 life,  all  his  powers  and  talents  to  God;  and  forsake  and  renounce 
 the  world,  with  all  its  pleasing  and  ensnaring  enjoyments,  that  he 
 mi.;ht  be  wholly  at  liberty  to  serve  Chri?t  in  this  work;  and  to 
 "  please  him  who  had  chosen  him  to  be  a  soldier,  under  the  cap- 
 tain of  our  salvation!^'  With  what  solicitude,  solemnity,  and  dili- 
 gence, did  he  devote  himself  to  God  our  Saviour,  and  seek  his 
 j)reseiice  and  blessing  in  secret,  at  the  time  of  liis  ordination! 
 and  how  did  his  whole  heart  appear  to  be  constantly  engaged,  his 
 whole  time  employed,  and  his  whole  strength  spent  in  the  busi- 
 ness, he  then  solemnly  undertook  and  to  which  he  was  publicly 
 set  apart ! — His  history  shews  us  the  right  way  to  sv.ccess  in  the  work 
 of  the  ministry.     He  sought  it,  as  a   resolute  soldier  seeks  victQ- 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  459 
 
 r>%  in  a  siege  or  battle  ;  or  as  a  man  who  runs  a  race,  seeks  a  great 
 prize.  Animated  with  love  to  Christ  and  the  souls  of  men,  how 
 did  he  ''labour  always  fervently,"  not  only  in  word  and  doctrine, 
 in  public  and  private,  but  in  prayers  day  and  night,  "  wrestling 
 with  God"  in  s:^cret,  and  "travailing  in  birth,"  with  unutterable 
 groans  and  agonies,  "  until  Christ  were  formed"  in  the  hearts  of 
 the  people  to  whom  he  was  sent!  How  did  he  thirst  for  a  bles- 
 sing on  his  ministry;  "watch  for  souls,  as  one  that  must  i(ive  ac- 
 count!" How  did  he  "go  forth  in  the  strength  of  the  Lord  God ;" 
 seeking  and  depending  on  a  special  influence  of  the  Spirit  to  as- 
 sist and  succeed  him  !  What  was  the  happy  fruit  ai  last,  though 
 after  long  waiting,  and  many  dark  and  discouraging  appearances.? 
 Like  a  true  son  of  Jacob,  he  peri^evered  in  wrestling,  through  all 
 the  darkness  of  the  night,  until  the  breakinnj  of  the  day. 
 
 His  example  of  labouring,  praying,  denying  himself,'and  endur- 
 ing hardness  with  unfainting  resolution  and  patience,  and  his  faith- 
 ful, vigilant,  and  prudent  conduct  in  many  other  respects,  [which 
 it  would  be  too  long  now  particularly  to  recite,]  may  afford  in- 
 struction to  missionaries  in  particular. 
 
 REFLECTION    VI. 
 
 The  foregoing  account  of  Buainero's  life  may  afford  instruc- 
 tion to  christians  in  general ;  as  it  shews  in  many  respects,  the 
 right  way  oi practicing  religion,  in  order  to  obtain  the  ends^  and 
 receive  the  benefits  of  it;  or  how  christians  should  "run  the  race 
 set  before  them,"  if  they  would  not  "run  m  vain,  or  run  as  un- 
 certainly," but  would  honour  God  in  the  world,  adorn  their  pro- 
 fession, be  serviceable  to  mankind,  have  the  comforts  of  religion 
 while  they  live,  be  free  from  disquieting  doubts  and  dark  appre- 
 hensions about  the  state  of  their  souls,  enjoy  peace  in  tlie  ap- 
 proaches of  death,  and  "  finish  their  course  with  joy."  In  gene- 
 ral, he  much  recommended,  for  this  purpose,  the  redemption  of 
 time,  great  diligence  in  the  business  of  the  christian  life,  lu-ttchfuU 
 ness,  he.  and  he  very  remarkably  exemplified  these  things. 
 
 Particularly,  his  example  and  success  with  regard  to  one  duty, 
 in  an  especial  manner,  may  be  of  great  use  to  both  ministers  and 
 private  christians;  I  mean  the  duty  of  secret  fasting.  Tiie  read- 
 er has  seen,  how  much  Brainerd  recommends  this  duty,  and 
 how  frequently  he  exercised  himself  in  it;  nor  can  it  well  have 
 escaped  observation,  how  much  he  was  owned  and  blessed  in  it, 
 and  of  what  great  benefit  it  evidently  was  to  his  soui.  Among  all 
 the  many  days  he  spent  in  secret  fasting  and  prayer,  of  which  he 
 gives  an  account  in  his  diary,    there    is  scarcely  an  instance    of 
 
460  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 one  which  was  not  either  attended  or  soon  followed  with  apparen-t 
 success,  a  id  a  remarkable  blessing,  in  special  influences  and  con- 
 solations of  God's  Spirit;  and  very  often,  before  the  day  was 
 ended.  But  it  must  be  observed,  that  when  he  -et  about  tliis  du- 
 ty, he  did  it  in  good  earnest;  ''  stirring  up  himself  to  take  hold  of 
 God,"  and  "  continuing  instant  in  prayer,"  with  much  of  the  spir- 
 it of  Jacob,  who  said  to  the  angel,  "  1  will  not  let  thee  go,  except 
 thou  bless  me." 
 
 REFLECTION    Vll. 
 
 There  is  much  in  the  preceding  account  to  excite  and  encourage 
 God's  people  to  earnest  prayers  and  endeavours  for  the  advance- 
 ment and  enlargement  of  the  kingdom  of  Christ  in  the  taorld. 
 Brainerd  set  us  an  excellent  example  in  this  respect.  He 
 sought  the  prosperity  of  Zion  with  all  his  might;  and  prefer- 
 red Jerusalem  above  his  chief  joy.  How  did  his  soul  long  for  it^ 
 and  pant  after  it!  how  earnestly  and  often  did  he  wrestle  with 
 God  for  it !  and  how  far  did  he,  in  these  desires  and  prayers, 
 seem  to  be  carried  beyond  all  private  and  selfish  views!  being 
 animated  by  a  pure  love  to  Christ,  an  earnest  desire  of  his  glory, 
 and  a  disinterested  affection  to  the  souls  of  mankind. 
 
 The  consideration  of  this,  not  only  ought  to  be  an  incitement  to 
 the  people  of  God,  but  may  also  be  a  just  encouragement  to  them, 
 to  be  much  in  seeking  and  praying  for  a  general  outpouring  of  the 
 Spirit  of  God,  and  an  extensive  revival  of  religion.  I  confess, 
 that  God's  giving  so  much  of  a  spirit  of  prayer  for  this  mercy  to 
 so  eminent  a  servant  of  his,  and  exciting  him,  in  so  extraordinary 
 a  manner,  and  with  such  vehement  thirsiings  of  soul,  to  agonize  in 
 prayer  for  it,  from  time  to  time,  through  the  course  of  his  life,  is 
 one  thing  among  others,  which  give^  me  great  hope,  that  God  has 
 a  design  of  accomplishing  something  very  glorious  for  the  interest 
 of  his  church  before  long.  One  such  instance  as  this,  I  con- 
 ceive, gives  more  encouragement,  than  the  common,  cold,  forma! 
 prayers  of  thousands.  As  Brainerd's  desires  and  prayers  for 
 the  coming  of  Christ's  kingdom,  were  very  special  and  extraor- 
 dinary;  so,  I  think  we  may  reasonably  hope,  that  the  God  who 
 excited  those  desires  and  prayers,  will  answer  them  with  some- 
 thing special  and  extraordinary.  And  in  a  particular  manner  do 
 I  think  it  worthy  of  notice  for  our  encouragement,  that  he  had  his 
 heart,  [as  he  declared,]  unusually  drawn  out  in  longings  and  pray- 
 ers for  the  flourishing  of  Christ's  kingdom  on  earth,  when  he  was 
 in  the  approaches  of  death  ;  and  that  with  his  dying  breath  he 
 Ijireathcd  out  hi;5  departing  soul  into  the   bosom  of  his  Redeemer, 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  461 
 
 in  prayers  and  pantings  after  the  glorious  event  ;  expirin^y  in 
 \ery  ^reat  hope,  that  it  would  soon  begin  to  be  fulfilled.  I  wish 
 that  the  thoughts  which  he  in  his  dying  state  expressed  of  that 
 <.xplicit  agreement,  and  visible  union  of  God's  people,  in  extraor- 
 dinary prayer  for  a  general  revival  of  religion,  lately  proposed  in 
 a  MEMORIAL  to  Scotland,  which  has  been  dispersed  among  us,  rnay 
 be  well  considered  by  those  who  hitherto  have  not  seen  fit  to  fall 
 in  with  that  proposal. — But  I  forbear  to  say  any  more  on  this 
 head,  having  already  largely  published  my  thouejhts  tipon  it.  in  a 
 discourse  written  on  purpose  to  promote  that  affair  ;  with  which, 
 1  confess,  1  wish  (hat  every  one  of  my  readers  might  be  supplied  ; 
 not  that  my  honour,  but  that  this  excellent  design  might  be  pro- 
 moted. 
 
 As  there  is  much  in  Brainerd's  life  to  encourage  christians  to 
 seek  the  advancement  of  Christ's  kingdom,  in  general  ;  so  there 
 is,  in  particular,  to  pray  for  the  conversion  of  the  Itjdians  on  this 
 continent,  and  to  exert  themselves  in  the  use  of  proper  means  for 
 its  accomplishment.  It  appears,  that  he,  in  his  unutterable  long- 
 ings and  wrestlings  of  soul  for  the  flourishing  of  religion,  had  his 
 miiid  peculiarly  intent  on  the  conversion  and  salvation  of  these 
 people,  and  his  heart  more  especially  engaged  in  prayer  for 
 them.  If  we  consider  the  degree  and  manner  in  which  he,  from 
 time  to  time,  sought  and  hoped  for  an  extensive  work  of  grace 
 among  them,  1  think,  we  have  reason  to  hope,  that  the  wonderful 
 things,  which  God  wrought  among  them  by  him,  are  but  a  forerun- 
 ner ofsomethingyet  much  more  glorious  and  extensive  of  thatkind. 
 This  may  justly  be  an  encouragement,  to  well-disposed  charitable 
 persons,  to  "  honour  the  Lord  with  their  substance,"  by  contribut- 
 ing, as  they  are  able,  to  promote  the  spreading  of  the  gospel 
 among  them.  This  also  may  incite  and  encourage  gentlemen, 
 who  are  incorporated  and  intrusted  with  the  care  and  disposal  of 
 those  liberal  benefactions,  which  have  already  been  made  by 
 pious  persons  to  that  end  ;  and  likewise  the  missionaries  them- 
 selves, that  are  or  may  be  employed  ;  and  it  may  be  of  direction 
 unto  both,  as  to  the  proper  qualifications  of  missionaries,  and  the 
 proper  measures  to  be  taken  in  order  to  their  success. 
 
 One  thing  I  would  particularly  propose  to  the  consideration  of 
 such  as  have  the  care  of  providing  and  sending  missionaries  among 
 savages  ;  viz.  Whether  it  would  not  ordinarily  be  best  to  send 
 two  together  ?  It  is  pretty  manifest,  that  Brainerd's  going,  as  he 
 did,  alone  into  the  howling  wilderness,  was  one  great  occasion  of 
 a  prevailing  melancholy  on  liis  mind  ;  which  was  his  greatest  dis- 
 advantage, lie  spoke  much  of  it  himself,  when  he  was  here  in 
 his  dying  state  ;  and  expressed  himself,  to  this  purpose,  that  none 
 could  conceive  of  the  disadvantage  a  missionary  in  such  circum- 
 
462  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 stances  was  under,  by  being  alone  ;  especially  as  it  exposed  him 
 to  discouragement  and  melancholy.  He  spoke  of  the  wisdom  of 
 Christ  in  sending  forth  his  disciples  by  two  and  two  ;  and  left  it 
 as  his  dying  advice  to  his  brother,  never  to  go  to  Susquehannah,to 
 travel  about  in  that  remote  wilderness,  to  preach  to  the  Indians 
 there,  as  he  had  often  done,  without  the  company  o[  Si  fellow  mis- 
 sionary, 
 
 REFLECTION    Villi 
 
 One  thing  more  may  not  be  unprofitably  observed  in  the  pre- 
 ceding account  of  Braikerd  ;  and  that  is,  the  special  and  remark- 
 able  disposal  o{  d'\\'n\e  providence,  with  regard  to  the  circumstan- 
 ces of  his  last  sickness  and  death. 
 
 Though  he  had  been  long  infirm,  his  constitution  being  much 
 broken  by  his  fatigues  and  hardships  ;  and  though  he  was  often 
 brought  very  low  by  illness  before  he  left  Kaunaumeeic,  and  also 
 while  he  lived  at  the  Forks  of  Delazvare  ;  yet  his  life  was  pre- 
 served, till  he  had  seen  that  which  he  had  so  long  and  greatly  de- 
 sired and  sought,  a  gloriou.^  work  of  grace  among  the  Indians,  and 
 had  received  the  wished  t'br  blessing  of  God  on  his  labours. 
 Though  as  it  were  "in  deaths  oft,"  yet  he  lived  to  behold  the 
 happy  fruits  of  the  long  continued  travail  of  his  soul  and  labour 
 of  his  bodv,  in  the  wonderful  conversion  of  many  of  the  heathen, 
 and  the  happy  effects  of  it  in  the  great  change  of  their  conversa- 
 tion, with  many  circumstances  which  afforded  a  fair  prospect  of 
 the  continuance  of  God's  blessing  upon  them  ;  as  may  appear  by 
 what  I  shall  presently  further  observe. — Thus  he  did  not  "  depart 
 till  his  eyes  had  seen  God's  salvation." 
 
 Though  it  was  the  pleasure  of  God,  that  he  should  be  taken  off 
 from  his  labours  among  that  people  to  whom  God  had  made  him  a 
 spiritual  father,  who  were  so  dear  to  him,  and  tor  whose  spiritual 
 welfare  he  was  so  greatly  concerned  ;  yet  this  was  not  before 
 they  were  well  initiated  and  instructed  in  the  Christian  religion, 
 thoroughly  weaned  from  their  old  heathenish  and  brutish  notions 
 and  practices,  and  all  their  prejudices  and  jealousies,  which  tend- 
 ed to  keep  their  minds  unsettled,  were  fully  removed.  They 
 were  corjfirmed  and  fixed  in  the  christian  faith  and  manners  ; 
 were  formed  into  a  church  ;  had  ecclesiastical  ordinances  and  dis- 
 cipline introduced  and  settled  ;  were  brought  into  a  good  way 
 with  respect  to  the  education  of  children  ;  had  a  schoolmaster 
 excellently  qualified  for  the  business  ;  and  had  a  school  set  up 
 and  established,  in  good  order,  among  them.  They  had  been 
 well  brought  off  from  their  former  idle,  strolling,  sottish  way  of 
 Jiving  ;  had  removed  from  their  former  scattered  uncertain  habi- 
 
MEMOinS  OF  BRAIKERD.  46a 
 
 lalions,  were  collected  in  a  town  by  themselves,  on  a  good  piece  of 
 land  of  their  own  ;  were  introduced  into  the  way  of  living  by 
 husbandry  ;  and  had  begun  to  ex[)erience  the  benefits  of  it. 
 These  things  were  but  just  brought  to  pass  by  his  indefatigable 
 application  and  care  ;  and  then  he  was  taken  oif  from  his  work 
 by  illness.  If  this  had  been  but  a  little  sooner,  they  would  by  no 
 means  have  been  so  well  prepared  for  such  a  dispensation  ;  and 
 it  probably  would  have  been  unspeiikably  more  to  (he  hurt  of 
 their  spiritual  interest, and  of  thecause  of  Christianity  auiong  them. 
 
 The  time  and  circumstances  of  his  ilhiess  were  so  ordered, 
 that  he  had  just  op{>ortunity  to  tinish  his  Jourxal,  a,](i  prepare  it 
 for  tlje  press  ;  giving  an  account  of  the  marvellous  display  of  di- 
 vine power  and  grace  among  the  Indians  in  JS''eco- Jersey,  and  at 
 the  Forks  of  Delaioare.  His  doing  this  was  of  great  consequence 
 and  therefore  urged  upon  him  by  the  correspondents^  who  have 
 honoured  his  Journal  with  a  preface.  The  world  being  particu- 
 larly and  Justly  informed  of  that  affnir  by  Brainerd,  before  his 
 death,  a  foundation  was  hereby  laid  for  a  concern  in  others  for 
 that  cause,  and  proper  care  and  measures  to  be  taken  for  main- 
 taining it  after  his  death.  It  has  actually  proved  to  be  of  great  in- 
 llucnce  and  benefit  in  this  respect  ;  for  it  has  excited  and  enga- 
 ged many  in  those  parts,  nnd  also  more  distant  parts  of  America, 
 to  exert  themselves  for  upholding  and  promoting  the  good  and 
 glorious  work,  remarkably  opening  their  hearts  and  hands  to  that 
 end  :  and  not  only  in  America,  but  in  Great  Britain,  that  Journal, 
 which  I  have  earnestly  recommended  to  my  readers,  has  been  an 
 occasion  of  some  large  benefactions,  made  for  promoting  the  in- 
 terest of  Christianity  among  the  Indians. — If  Brainerp  had  been 
 taken  iil  but  a  little  sooner,  he  had  not  been  able  to  complete  his 
 Journal,  and  prepare  a  copy  for  the  press. 
 
 He  was  not  taken  off  from  the  work  of  the  ministry  among  his 
 people,  till  his  brother  was  in  a  capacity  and  circumstances  to 
 succeed  him  in  his  care  of  them  ;  who  s'.jccceds  him  in  the  like 
 spirit,  and  under  whose  prudent  and  faithful  care  his  congrega- 
 tion has  flourished,  arid  been  very  happy,  since  he  left  them  ;. 
 and  probfibly  could  not  have  been  so  well  provided  for  otherwise. 
 If  Brainerd  had  been  disabled  sooner,  his  brother  Avoi^ld  by  no 
 means  have  been  ready  to  stand  up  in  his  place  ;  having  taken  his 
 (irst  degree  at  college  btit  about  that  very  time  that  he  v/as  seized 
 with  his  fa  la  I  consumption. 
 
 Though  in  that  winter  in  which  he  lay  sick  at  Mr.  Dlckinson^s, 
 in  Eiizabeth-'J'own,  he  continued  for  a  long  time  in  an  extremely 
 low  state,  so  that  his  life  was  almost  despaired  o{^  and  his  state 
 was  sometimes  such  that  it  was  hardly  expected  (hat  he  would 
 live  a  day  ;  yet  his  life  was   spared    a   while  longer;  he  lived  to 
 
464  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINEUD. 
 
 see  his  brother  arrived  in  New- Jersey,  being  come  to  succeed  him 
 in  the  care  of  his  Indians  ;  and  he  himself  had  opportunity  to  as- 
 sist in  his  examination  and  introduction  into  his  business  ;  and  to 
 commit  the  conduct  of  his  dear  people  to  one  whom  he  well 
 knew,  and  could  put  confidence  in,  and  use  freedom  with,  in  giv- 
 ing him  particular  instructions  and  charges,  and  under  whose 
 care  he  could  leave  his  congregation  with  great  cheerfulness. 
 
 The  providence  of  God  was  remarkable  in  so  ordering  it,  that 
 before  his  death  he  should  take  a  journey  in  New-England,  and 
 go  to  Bosion  ;  which  was,  in  many  respects,  of  verj'  great  and 
 happy  consequence  to  the  interest  of  religion,  and  especially 
 among  his  own  people.  By  this  means,  as  before  observed,  he 
 was  brought  in  acquaintance  with  many  persons  of  note  and  influ- 
 ence, min)^-;ters  and  otheri?,  belonging  both  to  the  town  and  vari- 
 ous parts  of  the  country  ;  and  had  opportunity,  under  the  best 
 advantages,  to  bear  a  testimony  for  God  and  true  religion,  and 
 against  those  false  appearances  of  it  which  have  proved  most 
 pernicious  to  the  interest  of  Christ's  kingdom  in  the  land.  The 
 providence  of  God  is  particularly  observable  in  this  circumstance 
 of  the  testimony  which  he  there  bore  for  true  religion,  viz,  that 
 he  there  was  brought  so  near  the  grave^  and  continued  for  so 
 long  a  time  on  the  very  brink  of  eternity  ;  and  from  time  to 
 time,  looked  on  himself,  and  was  looked  on  by  others,  as  just 
 leaving  the  world;  and  that  in  these  circumslances  he  should  be 
 so  particularly  directed  and  assisted  in  his  thoughts  and  views  of 
 religion,  to  distinguish  between  the  true  and  the  false,  with  such 
 clearness  and  evidence  ;  and  that  after  this  he  should  be  unex- 
 pectedly and  surprisingly  restored  and  strengthened,  so  far  as  to 
 be  able  to  converse  freely.  Then  he  had  an  opportunity,  and 
 special  occasions  to  declare  the  sentiments  he  had  in  these,  which 
 to  human  apprehension,  were  his  dying  circumstances  ;  and  to 
 bear  his  testimony  concerning  the  nature  of  true  religion,  and 
 concerning  the  mischievous  tendency  of  its  most  prevalent  coun- 
 terfeits and  false  appearances  ;  as  things  he  had  a  special,  clear, 
 distinct  view  of  at  that  time,  when  he  expected  in  a  \e\v  minutes 
 to  be  in  eternity ;  and  the  certainty  and  importance  of  wliich  were 
 then,  in  a  peculiar  manner,  impressed  on  his  mind. 
 
 Among  the  happy  consequences  of  his  going  to  Boston,  were 
 those  liberal  benefactions  that  have  been  mentioned,  which  were 
 made  by  piously  disposed  persons,  for  maintaining  and  promoting 
 the  interest  of  reliiiion  among  his  people  ;  and  also  the  meeting 
 of  a  number  of  gentlemen  in  Boston,  of  note  and  ability,  to  con- 
 sult upon  measures  for  that  purpose  ;  who  were  excited  by  their 
 acquaintance  and  conversation  with  Brainerd,  and  by  the  account 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  466 
 
 of  the  great  things  which  God  had  wrought  by  his  ministry,  to 
 unite  themselves,  that  by  their  joint  endeavours  and  contributions 
 they  might  promote  the  kingdom  of  Christ,  and  the  spiritual  good 
 of  their  fellow-creatures,  among  the  Indians  in  New-Jersey;  and 
 elsewhere. 
 
 It  was  also  rema.  kable,  that  Brainerd  should  go  to  Boston  at 
 tliat  time,  after  the  honourable  commissioners  there,  of  the  corpo- 
 ration in  London  for  propagating  the  gospel  in  ^ew-England  and 
 parts  adjacent,  had  received  Dr.  Williams*  legacy  for  maintaining 
 two  missionaries  among  the  Heathen  ;  and  at  a  time  when  they, 
 having  concluded  on  a  mission  to  the  Indians  of  the  Six  Nations, 
 were  looking  out  for  fit  persons  to  be  employed  in  that  important 
 service.  This  was  the  occasion  of  their  committing  to  him  the 
 affair  of  finding  and  recommending  suitable  persons :  which  has 
 proved  a  successful  means  of  two  persons  being  found  and  actual- 
 ly appointed  to  that  business,  who  seem  to  be  well  qualified  for 
 it,  and  to  have  their  hearts  greatly  engaged  in  it.  One  of  them 
 has  been  solemnly  ordained  to  that  work  in  Boston,  and  is  now 
 gone  forth  to  one  of  those  tribes,  who  have  appeared  well  dis- 
 posed to  receive  him  ;  it  being  judged  not  convenient  for  the 
 other  to  go  till  the  next  spring,  by  reason  of  his  bodily  infirmity.* 
 
 These  happy  consequences  of  Brainerd's  journey  to  Boston 
 would  have  been  prevented,  in  case  he  had  died  when  he  was 
 brought  so  near  to  death  in  New-Jersey.  Or,  if  after  he  came  to 
 Northampton,  (where  he  was  much  at  a  loss,  and  long  delibera- 
 ting, which  way  to  bend  his  course,)  he  had  determined  not  to  go 
 to  Boston. 
 
 The  providence  of  God  was  observable  in  his  going  to  Boston 
 at  a  time  when  not  only  the  honourable  commissioners  were  seek- 
 ing missionaries  to  the  Six  Nations,  but  also  just  after  his  Journal, 
 which  gives  an  account  of  his  labours  and  success  among  the  In- 
 dians, had  been  received  and  spread  in  Boston.  His  name  was 
 thus  known,  and  the  minds  of  serious  people  were  well  prepared 
 to  receive  his  person,  and  the  testimony  he  there  gave  for  God ; 
 to  exert  themselves  for  the  upholding  and  promoting  the  interest 
 of  religion  in  his  congregation,  and  among  the  Indians  elsewhere  ; 
 and  to  regard  his  judgment  concerning  the  qualifications  of  mis- 
 sionaries. If  he  had  gone  there  the  fall  before,  (when  he  had  in- 
 tended  to  make    his  journey   into   New-England,    but  was  pre- 
 
 *  The  appointment  of  these  gentlemen  to  this  mission  has  been  hitherto  much 
 smiled  on  by  providence  ;  as  in  other  respects,  so  particularly  in  wonderfully  open- 
 ing the  hearts  of  many  to  contribute  liberally  to  so  excellent  a  design.  Besides  the 
 benefactions  in  Boston,  a  number  of  persons  at  Northampton  with  much  cheerful- 
 ness have  given  about  160/.  (old  tenor;  ;  and  a  particular  person  in  Springfield  has- 
 devoted  a  considerable  part  of  his  estate  to  this  interest. 
 
 59 
 
466  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERO. 
 
 vented  by  a  sudden  great  increase  of  his  illness;)  or  if  he  had 
 not  been  unexpectedly  detained  in  Boston;  (for  when  he  went 
 from  my  house,  he  intended  to  make  but  a  very  short  stay  there,) 
 it  would  not  probably  have  been  in  any  measure  to  so  good  effect; 
 but  divine  providence,  by  his  being  brought  so  low  there,  detained 
 him  long  ;  thereby  to  make  way  for  the  fulfilling  his  own  gracious 
 designs. 
 
 The  providence  of  God  was  remarkable  in  so  ordering,  that  al- 
 though he  was  brought  so  very  near  the  grave  in  Boston,  that  it 
 was  not  in  the  least  expected  he  would  ever  come  alive  out  of  his 
 chamber  ;  yet  he  was  wonderfully  revived,  and  preserved  several 
 months  lonejer ;  so  that  he  had  opportunity  to  see,  and  fully  to 
 converse  with  both  his  younger  brothers  before  he  died.  This  he 
 greatly  desired ;  especially  to  see  his  brother  John,  with  whom 
 was  left  the  care  of  his  congregation  ;  that  he  might  by  him  be 
 fully  informed  of  their  state,  and  leave  with  him  such  insiructions 
 and  directions  as  were  requisite  in  order  to  their  spiritual  welfare, 
 and  send  to  them  his  dying  charges  and  counsels.  He  had  also 
 opportunity,  by  means  of  this  suspension  of  his  death,  to  find  and 
 recommend  two  persons  fit  to  be  employed  as  missionaries  to  the 
 Six  Nations,  as  had  been  desired  of  him. 
 
 Thus,  although  it  was  the  pleasure  of  a  sovereign  God,  that  he 
 should  be  taken  away  from  his  congregation,  the  people  whom  he 
 had  begotten  through  the  gospel,  who  were  so  dear  to  him  ;  yet  it 
 was  granted  him,  that  before  he  died  he  should  see  them  well  pro- 
 vidtd  for,  every  way.  He  saw  them  provided  for,  with  one  to 
 instruct  them,  and  to  take  care  of  their  souls ;  his  own  brother 
 in  whom  he  could  confide.  He  saw  a  good  foundation  laid  for 
 fhe  support  of  the  school  among  them  ;  those  things,  which 
 before  were  wanting  in  order  to  it,  being  supplied.  He  had  the 
 prospect  of  a  charitable  society  being  established,  of  able  and 
 well-disposed  persons,  who  seem  to  make  the  spiritual  interest  of 
 his  congregation  their  own  ;  whereby  he  had  a  comfortable  view 
 of  their  being  well  provided  for,  for  the  future.  He  had  also  op- 
 portunity to  leave  all  his  dying  charges  with  his  successor  in  the 
 pastoral  care  of  his  people,  and  by  him  to  send  his  dying  counsels 
 fo  them.  Thus  God  granted  him  to  see  all  things  happily  settled, 
 or  in  a  hopeful  way  of  being  so,  before  his  death,  with  respect  to 
 his  dear  people.— And  whereas  not  only  his  own  congregation, 
 but  the  souls  of  the  Indians  in  North-America  in  general,  were 
 very  d'l^ar  to  him,  and  he  had  greatly  set  his  heart  on  propagating 
 and  extending  the  kingdom  of  Christ  among  them  ;  God  was 
 pleased  to  grant  him — though  not  to  be  the  immediate  instrument 
 of  their  instruction  and  conversion — yet,  that  before  his  death,  he 
 should  see  unexpected  extraordinary  provisions  made  for  this  also. 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  467 
 
 It  is  remarkable,  that  God  not  only  allowed  him  to  see  such  pror 
 vision  made  for  maintaining  the  interest  of  religion  among  his  own 
 people,  and  the  propagation  of  it  elsewhere  ;  but  honoured  him  by 
 making  him  tlie  means  or  occasion  of  it.  So  that  it  is  very  proba- 
 ble, although  Brainerd  during  the  last  four  months  of  his  life, 
 was  ordinarily  in  an  extremely  weak  and  low  state,  very  often 
 scarcely  able  to  speak;  yet  that  he  was  made  the  instrument  or 
 means  of  much  more  good  in  that  space  of  time,  than  he  would 
 have  been  if  well,  and  in  full  strength  of  body.  Thus  God'^s  power 
 was  manifested  in  his  weakness,  and  the  life  of  Christ  was  mani- 
 fested in  his  mortal  flesh. 
 
 Another  thing,  wherein  appears  the  merciful  disposal  of  provi- 
 dence with  respect  to  his  death,  was,  that  he  did  not  die  in  the 
 wilderness,  amorij^  the  savages,  at  Kaunaumeek.,  or  the  Forks  of 
 Delaware,  or  on  the  Susquehannah  ;  but  in  a  place  where  his  dy- 
 ing behaviour  and  speeches  might  be  observed  and  remembered, 
 and  some  account  given  of  f  em  for  the  benefit  of  survivors  ;  and 
 where  care  might  be  talcori  of  him  in  his  sickness,  and  proper 
 honours  done  him  at  his  death.  » 
 
 The  providence  of  God  is  also  worthy  of  remark,  in  so  over- 
 ruling and  ordering  the  matter,  that  he  did  not  finally  leave  abso- 
 lute orders  for  the  entire  suppressing  of  \\\%  private  papers  ^  as  he 
 had  intended  and  fully  resolved,  insomuch  that  all  the  importu- 
 nity of  his  friends  could  scarce  restrain  him  from  doing  it,  when 
 sick  at  Boston.  One  thing  relating  to  this  is  peculiarly  remarka- 
 ble, that  his  brother,  a  little  before  his  death,  should  come  un- 
 expectedly from  New-Jersey ;  and  bring  his  Diary  to  him,  though 
 he  had  received  no  such  order.  Thus  he  had  opportunity  of  ac- 
 cess to  these  his  reserved  papers,  and  of  reviewing  the  same  ; 
 without  which,  it  appears,  he  would  at  last  have  ordered  them 
 to  be  wholly  suppressed  ;  but  after  this,  he  the  more  readily 
 yielded  to  the  desires  of  his  friends,  and  was  willing  to  leave  them 
 in  their  hands  to  be  disposed  of  as  they  thought  might  be  most  for 
 God's  glory.  By  this  means,  "  he,  being  dead,  yet  speaketh," 
 in  these  memoirs  of  his  life,  taken  from  those  private  writings; 
 whereby  it  is  to  be  hoped  that  he  may  still  be  as  it  were  the  in- 
 strument of  promoting  the  interest  of  religion  in  this  world;  the 
 advancement  of  which  he  so  much  desired,  and  hoped  would  be 
 accomplished  after  his  death. 
 
 If  these  circumstances  of  Brainerd's  death  be  duly  consider- 
 ed, I  doubt  not  but  they  will  be  acknowledged  as  a  notable  in- 
 stance of  God's  fatherly  care,  and  covenant-faithfulness  towards 
 them  who  are  devoted  to  him,  and  faithfully  serve  him  while  they 
 live  ;  whereby  '*  he  never  fails  nor  forsakes  them,  but  is  rvith 
 them  living  and  dying  :  so  that  whether  they  live,  they  live  to  the 
 
468  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 Lord  ;  or  whether  they  die,  they  die  to  the  Lord  ;"  and  both  in 
 life  and  death  they  are  owned  and  taken  care  of  as  his. — Brain- 
 ERD  himself,  as  was  before  observed,  was  much  in  taking  notice, 
 when  near  his  end,  of  the  merciful  circumstances  of  his  death; 
 and  said,  from  time  to  time,  that  '^God  had  granted  him  all  his 
 desire." 
 
 I  would  not  conclude  my  observations  on  the  merciful  circum- 
 stances of  Brainerd's  death,  without  acknowledging  with  thank- 
 fulness, the  gracious  dispensation  of  providence  to  me  and  my 
 family,  in  so  ordering,  that  he,  though  the  ordinary  place  of  his 
 abode  was  more  than  two  hundred  miles  distant,  should  be 
 brought  to  my  house,  in  his  last  sickness,  and  should  die  here. 
 Thus  we  had  opportunity  for  much  acquaintance  and  conversa- 
 tion with  him,  to  shew  him  kindness  in  such  circumstances,  to  see 
 his  dying  behaviour^  to  hear  his  dying  speeches^  to  receive  his  dy- 
 ing  counsels,  and  to  have  the  benefit  of  his  dying />m?/er5.  May 
 God  in  infinite  mercy  grant,  that  we  may  ever  retain  a  proper 
 remembrance  of  these  things,  and  make  a  due  improvement  of 
 the  advantages  we  have  had,  in  these  respects  !  The  Lord  grant 
 also,  that  the  foregoing  account  of  Brainerd's  life  and  death 
 may  be  for  the  great  spiritual  benefit  of  ail  who  shall  read  it,  and 
 prove  a  happy  means  of  promoting  the  revival  of  true  reli- 
 gion !     Amen. 
 
 NOTE. 
 
 The  reader  will  not  be  uninterested  in  the  following  letters 
 from  Mr.  John  Brainerd,  giving  an  account  of  the  Indians,  after 
 his  brother's  death. 
 
 The  first  is  an  Extract  from  a  Letter  to  his  friend  in  England, 
 dated, 
 
 "  Bethel,   Oct.  4th,   1752. 
 
 *'  I  have  now  been  employed  as  a  Missionary  among  these  In- 
 dians for  above  four  years  and  a  half,  beside  oflSciating  for  my 
 brother  several  monthsduringhislastsickness.  In  this  space  of  time 
 the  number  has  considerably  increased  ;  though,  for  more  than 
 two  years  after  I  came,  we  were  visited  with  much  sickness  and 
 great  mortality.  We  have  now  near  forty  families  belonging  to 
 our  society  ;  and  our  church  consists  of  thirty-seven  communi- 
 cants, beside  two  or  three  more,  who  stand  as  candidates  for  ad- 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  469 
 
 mission.  Our  school  has  sometimes  consisted  of  above  fifty  chil- 
 dren ;  but  the  number  at  present  is  not  altogether  so  great.  I 
 have  spent  the  most  of  my  time,  since  I  have  been  employed  as  a 
 Missionary,  among  this  people  ;  but  have  not  wholly  confined 
 myself  to  them.  I  have  taken  several  journies  out  among  the 
 more  remote  Indians  and  some  to  those  at  a  great  distance.  By 
 this  means,  with  the  blessing  of  God  on  my  labours,  I  have  per- 
 suaded numbers  to  come  from  distant  places  and  settle  here, 
 where  they  and  their  children  have  the  advantages  of  instruction, 
 which  I  trust  have  been  blest  to  the  saving  conversion  of  some. 
 May  the  Lord  daily  increase  their  number  ! 
 
 We  have  a  very  considerable  number  of  serious  regular  chris- 
 tians, who  are  an  ornament  to  religion  ;  although  some,  who 
 make  ?i  profession,  have  grievously  backslidden.  The  Lord  has 
 preserved  and  continued  a  christian  congregation  together,  al- 
 though many  attempts  have  been  made  by  Satan  and  his  instru- 
 ments to  disperse  and  destroy  it." 
 
 After  mentioning  the  obstacles,  which  hinder  the  conversion 
 of  the  Indians  to  Christianity,  such  as — Their  love  to  strong  drink 
 — Their  indolent,  wandering,  unsteady  disposition — The  wicked- 
 ness of  some  white  people,  who  prejudice  them  against  the  Mis- 
 sionaries— The  temptations  which  the  whites  throw  in  their  way  ; 
 some  of  them  buying  drink,  and  giving  it  gratuitously,  to  see  if 
 they  cannot  make  the  Christian  Indians  drunk — And  the  want  of 
 a  more  liberal  support  to  the  Missionaries  for  carrying  them 
 through  difficult  journies,  and  taking  christian  Indians  along  with 
 them — He  proceeds  : 
 
 "  I  hope  and  trust,  as  this  work  of  grace  among  the  Indians 
 comes  to  be  more  generally  know?;  and  spread  abroad,  there  will 
 be  a  greater  plenty  of  provision  for  the  prevention  of  the  same  : 
 and  may  the  Lord  hasten  the  blissful  time  ! — 
 
 "  Upon  the  whole,  though  1  am  feelingly  sensible  of  many  dif- 
 ficulties and  discouragements  in  christianizing  the  Indians;  yet  1 
 cannot  but  think  that  there  has  been  and  still  is  as  much  encour- 
 agement as  could  rationally  have  been  expected,  before  any  at- 
 tempts of  this  kind  were  made,  and  that  which  is  sufiicient  for  us 
 still  to  act  upon,  and  to  make  farther  attempts  of  this  nature. 
 There  is  ground  to  hope  that  within  these  seven  years  last  past 
 there  have  been  at  least  forty  persons  savingly  converted  to  God 
 even  in  this  small  place  ;  which  at  most  does  not  contain  above 
 two  hundred  souls,  old  and  young  of  all  sorts  ;  and  were  there  a- 
 ny  sufficiently  zealous  to  go  to  the  more  remote  places  where 
 there- are  greater  numbers  of  these  miserable  savages ;  who  can 
 
470  MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD. 
 
 tell  what  the  Lord  would  do.     What  a  glorious    prospect   might 
 soon  open  ? 
 
 "  The  quarterly  days  of  prayer  for  the  prosperity  of  Zion  are 
 observed  by  some  in  these  parts,  and  have  been  very  constantly 
 attended  in  my  congregation  ;  and  some  of  my  people  have  ap- 
 peared very  affectionate  and  warmly  engaged  at  such  times.  May 
 the  Lord  hear  and  and  answer  the  supplications  of  his  people,  and 
 cause  his  church  to  arise  and  flourish  and  become  a  praise  in  the 
 whole  earth.  I  would  desire  a  remembrance  in  your  addresses  to 
 the  throne  of  grace  forme,  for  my  people,  and  for  the  cause  of 
 God  among  the  Indians.  If  you  should  have  leisure,  and  think  it 
 worthwhile  to  write,  please  to  direct  for  me  at  Bethel,  in  New- 
 Jersey,  to  the  care  of  Mr.  William  Grant,  merchant,  in  Second 
 street,  Philadelphia  ;  or  to  the  care  of  Mr.  Denys  De  Berdt, 
 merchant,  in  Artillery  court,  Chiswal-street,  London. 
 "  I  am,  &:c. 
 
 "JOHN  BRAINERD.*' 
 
 The  second  was  to  the  Praeses  of  the  Society  in  Scotland,  dated 
 
 ''Bethel,  Oct,  22,   1753. 
 
 "  Since  my  last  to  your  Lordship,  which  bears  date  March  2, 
 1753,  I  have  steadily  attended  to  the  business  of  the  Mission, 
 and  have  not  been  absent  from  my  charge  except  on  some  ne- 
 cessary occasions,  and  then  only  for  a  short  space.  I  have  en- 
 deavoured to  attend  strictly  to  my  commissions  and  instructions; 
 preaching  the  gospel  ;  administering  the  sacraments  ;  catechis- 
 ing both  the  grown  people  and  the  children  ;  visiting  my  people  ; 
 praying  and  conversing  with  the  sick  ;  attending  funerals  ;  and 
 watching  all  opportunities  to  do  them  good. — I  have  constantly 
 attended  public  worship  three  times  on  the  Lord's  day  ;  steadily 
 once,  and  sometimes  more,  in  the  rest  of  the  week.  Besides  I 
 have  advised  the  people,  especially  of  late,  to  meet,  at  least  one 
 evening  in  a  week  at  a  private  house,  which  they  do  in  the  seve- 
 ral parts  of  their  town  ;  sometimes  at  one  house  and  sometimes 
 at  another.  This  meeting  I  have  generally  attended  ;  and  carry 
 it  on  by  prayer,  singing  of  psalms  or  hymns  and  religious  conver- 
 sation. At  these  meetings  I  address  myself  to  particular  persons  ; 
 inquire  into  the  state  of  their  souls;  warn,  exhort,  encourage, 
 &ic.  as  I  see  occasion.  When  I  am  absent,  the  meeting  is  car- 
 ried on  by  religious  conversation,  together  with  prayer  and  sing- 
 ing. My  endeavours,  through  the  blessing  of  heaven,  have  been, 
 1  hope  attended  with  some  degree  of  success.  1  have  had  the 
 satisfaction  of  admitting  one  adult  person  to  baptism,  who  1  trust 
 
MEMOIRS  OF  BRAINERD.  471 
 
 IS  a  true  convert  to  God,  and  savingly  acquainted  with  Jesus 
 Christ;  and  sundry  children  have  been  the  subjects  of  that  di- 
 vine ordinance.  I  can  also  inform  your  Lordship  and  the  Socie- 
 ty that  many  of  our  former  converts  adorn  their  profession  by  a 
 sober  virtuous  life.  But  some,  I  must  needs  say,  have  grievous- 
 ly backslidden  ;  which  has  been  matter  of  unspeakable  grief  to 
 me,  and  done  more  to  exhaust  my  spirits  and  wear  me  out,  than 
 all  the  bodily  fatigues  I  have  ever  undergone  in  the  prosecution 
 of  this  mission." 
 
 Afterwards  he  writes  of  great  difficulties,  which  the  Indiana 
 have  laboured  under  of  late  with  regard  to  their  lands  ; — and  of 
 the  lamented  death  of  a  promising  young  Indian,  whom  the  So- 
 ciety was  educating  for  the  ministry  ;  of  whom  he  says  : 
 
 "  He  had  been  a  member  of  Princeton  College  nearly  two 
 years  ;  was  much  beloved  by  his  classmates  and  the  other  scho- 
 lars, and  made  a  decent,  handsome  appearance  among  them.  He 
 died  of  a  quick  consumption.  1  had  opportunity  of  conversing 
 with  him  in  the  latter  part  of  his  sickness  ;  and  though  he  was 
 under  some  darkness,  yet  his  discourse  was  good,  and  discovered 
 much  of  the  Christian. 
 "  I  am,  (fcc. 
 
 "JOHN  BRAINERD." 
 
Christians,  when  absent  from  the  body,  are  present  zcith  the  Lord 
 
 PREACHED  AT  THE  FUNERAL  OF  THE 
 
 REV.   DAVID   BRAINERD, 
 
 MISSIONARY  TO  THE  INDIANS, 
 
 R03I    JHE   SOCIETY    IJV   SCOTLAJ>fD   FOR   PROPAGATING    CHRISTIAN    KNOWI.EDOE'j 
 AND    PASTOR   OF   A     CHURCH    OF    CHRISTIAN   INDIANS    IN   NEW- 
 JERSEY  ;     WHO    DIED   AT    NORTHAMPTON,    OCT.    9, 
 1747,  AND    WAS   INTERRED    ON    THE    12th. 
 
 By    Rev.    JONATHAN    EDWARDS. 
 
 60 
 
A  SERMON. 
 
 CHRISTIANS,  WHEN   ABSENT    FROM    THE    BODY   ARE    PRESENT    WITH    THE    LORD- 
 
 II    COR.    V.    8. 
 
 We  are  conjident^  I  say^  and  willing  rather  to  be  absent  from  the  body, 
 and  to  be  present  with  the  Lord. 
 
 THE  Apostle  is  here  giving  a  reason  why  he  went  on  with  such 
 immoveable  boldness  and  stedfastness,  through  such  labours,  suf- 
 ferings, and  dangers,  in  the  service  of  the  Lord  ;  for  which  his 
 enemies,  the  false  teachers  among  the  Corinthians,  sometimes  re- 
 proached him  as  being  beside  himself,  and  driven  on  by  a  kind  of 
 madness.  In  the  latter  part  of  the  preceding  chapter,  he  informs 
 the  christian  Corinthians,  that  the  reason  why  he  did  thus,  was, 
 that  he  firmly  believed  the  promises  which  Christ  had  made  to  his 
 faithful  servants  of  a  glorious  and  eternal  reward;  and  knew  that 
 these  present  afflictions  were  light,  and  but  for  a  moment,  in  com- 
 parison of  that  far  more  exceeding  and  eternal  weight  of  glory. — 
 In  this  chapter  he  further  insists  on  the  reason  of  his  constancy  in 
 suffering,  and  exposing  himself  to  death  in  the  work  of  the  minis- 
 try, even  the  more  happy  state  which  he  expected  after  death. — 
 This  is  the  subject  of  the  Text;  in  which  we  may  observe, 
 
 1.  The  p-eat  future  Privilege,  for  which  the  Apostle  hoped; 
 that  of  being  present  with  Christ.  The  Avords  in  the  original  prop- 
 erly signify  dwelling  with  Christ,  as  in  the  same  country  or  city,  or 
 making  an  home  with  Christ. 
 
 2.  When  the  Apostle  looked  for  this  privilege  ;  viz.  when  he 
 should  be  absent  from  the  body  :  not  to  wait  for  it  till  the  Resur- 
 rection, v^ien  soul  and  body  should  be  united  again.  He  signi- 
 fies the  same  thing  in  Phil.  i.  22,  23,  "But  if  I  live  in  the  flesh, 
 this  is  the  fruit  of  my  labour.  Yet  what  I  shall  choose,  I  wot  not. 
 For  I  am  in  a  strait  between  two;  having  a  desire  to  depart,  and 
 to  be  with  Christ." 
 
 3.  The  Falue  which  he  set  on  this  privilege.  For  the  sake  of 
 it,,  he  chose  to  he  absent  from  the  body.     It  was  mor^  pleasing  to 
 
176       EDWARDS'  SERMON  AT  BRAIKERD'S  FUNERAL. 
 
 him,  to  part  with  the  present  hfe  and  all  its  enjoyments,  if  he  might 
 be  possessed  of  this  great  henefit,  than  to  continue  here. 
 
 4.  Ti)e  Present  Benefit,  which  he  had  by  his  faith  and  hope  of 
 this  future  privilege,  and  of  his  great  value  for  it;  viz.  that  hence 
 he  received  courage,  assurance,  and  constancy  of  mind  ;  agreea- 
 bly to  the  proper  import  of  the  word  which  is  rendered,  we  are 
 confident.  He  is  now  giving  a  reason  of  that  fortitude  and  im- 
 moveable stability  of  mind,  with  which  he  went  through  those 
 extreme  labours,  hardships,  and  dangers,  which  he  mentions  in 
 this  course;  so  that,  in  the  midst  of  all,  he  did  not  faint,  was  not 
 discouraged,  but  had  constant  li^ht,  and  inward  support,  strength, 
 and  comfort  in  the  midst  of  all :  agreeably  to  the  tenth  verse  of 
 the  foregoing  chapter,  "  For  which  cause,  we  faint  not ;  but 
 though  "  our  outward  man  perish,  yet  the  inward  man  is  renewed 
 day  by  day."  The  same  is  expressed  more  particularly  in  the 
 eighth,  ninth,  and  tenth  verses  of  that  chapter,  "  We  are  troubled 
 on  every  side,  yet  not  distressed  ;  we  are  perplexed,  but  not  in 
 despair;  persecuted,  but  not  forsaken;  cast  down,  but  not  de- 
 stroyed ;  always  bearing  about  in  the  body,  the  dying  of  the  Lord 
 Jesus,  that  the  life  also  of  Jesus  might  be  made  manifest  in  our 
 mortal  flesh."  And  in  the  next  chap.  ver.  4 — 10,  "In  all  things, 
 approving  ourselves  as  the  ministers  of  God,  in  much  patience,  in 
 afflictions,  in  necessities,  in  distresses,  in  stripes,  in  imprisonments, 
 in  tumults,  in  labours,  in  watchings,  in  fastings,  bv  pureness,  by 
 knowledge,  by  longsufTering,  by  kindness,  by  the  Holy  Ghost,  by 
 love  unfeigned,  by  the  word  of  truth,  by  the  power  of  God,  by  the 
 armour  of  righteousness  on  the  right  hand  and  on  the  left,  by  hon- 
 our and  disiionour,  by  evil  report  and  good  report :  as  deceivers, 
 and  yet  true  ;  as  unknown,  and  yet  well  known  ;  as  dying,  and 
 behold,  we  live  ;  as  chasten&d,  and  not  killed  ;  as  sorrowful,  yet 
 ahvay  rejoicing;  as  poor,  yet  making  many  rich;  as  having  noth- 
 ing, and  yet  possessing  all  tilings." 
 
 Anions  the  many  i!seful  instructions,  which  might  be  derived 
 from  the  text,  I  shall  at  this  time  only  insist  on  tiiis  : — 
 
 The  souls  of  rhrlstians,  loJien  they  leave  the  body,  go  to  be  with 
 Christ. 
 
 They  do  this  in  the  following  respects  : — 
 
 F.  They  go  to  dwell  in  the  same  blessed  Abode  with  the  glorfinid 
 Human  nature  of  Christ. 
 
 The  Human  nalme  of  Cljrist  is  yet  in  being.  He  siill  contin- 
 ues, and  will  continue  to  all  eternity,  to  be  both  God  and  mai]. — 
 His  whole  human  nature  remains  :   nc^t  onlv   his  soul,  but  also   his 
 
EDWARDS'  SERMON  AT  BRAINERD'S  FUNERAL.       477 
 
 hody.  His  body  rose  from  the  dead  ;  and  the  same  that  was  rais- 
 ed from  the  dead,  is  exalted  and  glorified  at  God's  right  hand, — 
 That  which  was  dead  is  now  alive,  and  lives  for  evermore. 
 
 There  is  therefore  a  certain  place,  a  particular  part  of  the  exter- 
 nal creation,  to  which  Christ  is  gone,  and  where  he  remains. — 
 This  place  is  the  heaven  of  heavens:  a  place  beyond  all  the  visi- 
 ble heavens.  Epb.  iv.  9.  10.  "  Now  that  he  ascended,  what  is  it, 
 but  that  he  also  descended  first  into  the  lower  parts  of  the  earth  .^ 
 He  that  descended,  is  the  same  also  that  ascended  up  far  above 
 all  heavens."  This  is  the  same  which  the  Apostle  calls  the  third 
 heaven,  2  Cor.  xii.  2;  reckoning  the  aerial  heaven  as  the  first, 
 the  starry  heaven  as  the  second,  and  the  highest  heaven  as  the 
 third.  This  is  the  abode  of  the  holy  angels;  they  are  called  "  the 
 angels  of  heaven,"  Matth.  xxiv.  36.  "  The  angels  which  are  \a 
 heaven,"  Mark  xiii.  32.  *'  The  angels  of  God  in  heaven,"  Matth. 
 xxii.  30.  and  Mark  xii.  25.  They  are  said  *'  always  to  behold  the 
 face  of  the  Father  which  is  in  heaven,"  Matth.  xviii.  10.  They 
 are  elsewhere  often  represented  as  before  the  throne  of  God,  or 
 surrounding  his  throne  in  heaven,  and  sent  from  ihence,  and  de- 
 scending from  thence,  on  messages  to  this  world.  Thither  it  is 
 that  the  souls  of  departed  saints  are  conducted,  when  they  die. — 
 They  are  not  reserved  in  an  abode  distinct  from  the  highest 
 heaven  ;  a  place  of  rest,  which  they  are  kept  in,  till  the  day  of 
 judgment ;  which  some  call  the  Hades  of  the  happy  :  but  they  go 
 directly  to  heaven  itself.  This  is  the  saints'  home,  being  their 
 Father's  house.  They  are  "  pilgrims  and  strangers"  on  the 
 earth,  and  this  is  the  "  other  and  better  country"  to  which  they 
 are  travelling.  Heb.  xl.  13 — 16.  This  is  the  city  to  which  they 
 belong.  Philip,  iii.  20.  "Our  conversation,  or  (as  the  word  prop- 
 erly signifies)  citizenship,  is  in  heaven."  Therefore  this  undoubt- 
 edly is  the  place  to  wliich  the  Apostle  refers  in  the  text,  when  he 
 says,  "  We  are  willing  to  forsake  our  former  house,  the  body,  and 
 to  dwell  in  the  same  house,  city  or  country,  wherein  Christ 
 dwells;  which  is  the  proper  import  of  the  words  of  ihe  original. — 
 V/liat  can  this  house,  or  city,  or  country  be,  but  that  house,  vvhicli 
 is  elsewhere  spoken  of,  as  their  proper  home,  their  Father's 
 house,  the  city  and  country  to  which  they  properly  belong,  whith- 
 er they  are  travelling  all  the  while  they-continue  in  this  world,  and 
 the  house,  city,  and  country  where  we  know  the  human  nature  of 
 Christ  is  ;  this  is  the  saints'  rest;  here  their  hearts  are  while  they 
 live;  and  here  their  treasure  is:  "The  inheriiniice  incorruptible, 
 undefiled,  and  that  fadeth  not  away,  that  is  designed  for  them,  is 
 reserved  in  heaven  ;"  1  Pet.  i.  4.  Therefore  they  never  can 
 have  their  proper  and  full  rest  till  they  corao  there.     So  that  un- 
 
478       EDWARDS'  SERMON  AT  BRAINERD'S  FUNERAL. 
 
 doubtedly  their  souls,  when  absent  from  the  body,  (when  the  scrip- 
 tures represent  them  as  in  a  state  of  perfect  rest)  arrive  there. — 
 Those  two  saints,  who  left  this  world,  to  go  to  their  rest  in  anoth- 
 er world,  without  dying,  viz.  Lnoch  and  Elijah,  went  to  heaven. — 
 Elijah  was  seen  ascending  up  to  heaven,  as  Christ  was  ;  and  to  the 
 same  resting  place,  is  there  all  reason  to  think,  to  which  those 
 saints  go,  who  leave  the  world,  to  go  to  their  rest,  by  death.  Mo- 
 ses, when  he  died  in  the  top  of  the  mount,  ascended  to  the  same 
 glorious  abode  with  Elias,  who  ascended  without  dying.  They 
 are  companions  in  another  world  ;  as  they  appeared  together  at 
 Christ's  transfiguration.  They  were  together  at  that  time,  with 
 Christ  in  the  mount,  when  there  was  a  representation  of  his  glory  in 
 heaven.  Doubtless,  also,  they  were  together  afterwards,  with 
 him,  when  he  was  actually  glorified  in  heaven.  Thither  undoubt- 
 t^ly  it  was,  that  the  soul  of  Stephen  ascended,  when  he  expired. 
 The  circumstances  of  his  death  demonstrate  it,  as  we  have  an  ac- 
 count of  it,  Acts  vii.  55.  he.  "  He  being  full  of  the  Holy  Ghost, 
 looked  up  stedfastly  into  heaven,  and  saw  the  glory  of  God,  and 
 Jesus  standing  on  the  right  hand  of  God,  and  said,  behold,  I  see 
 the  heavens  opened,  and  the  Son  of  man,  (i.  e.  Jesus  in  his  human 
 nature),  standing  on  the  right  hand  of  God.  Then  they  cried  out 
 with  aloud  voice,  and  stopped  their  ears,  and  ran  upon  him  with 
 one  accord,  and  cast  him  out  of  the  city,  and  stoned  him. — And 
 they  stoned  Stephen,  calling  upon  God,  and  saying.  Lord  Jesus, 
 receive  my  spirit."  Before  his  death  he  had  an  extraordinary 
 view  of  the  glory  which  his  Saviour  had  received  in  heaven,  not 
 only  for  himself,  but  for  him,  and  all  his  faithful  followers ;  that 
 he  might  be  encouraged,  by  th<5  hopes  of  this  glory,  cheerfully  to 
 lay  down  his  life  for  his  sake.  Accordingly,  he  dies  in  the  hope 
 of  this,  saying,  "  Lord  Jesus,  receive  my  spirit."  By  which  doubt- 
 less he  meant,  "  receive  my  spirit  to  be  with  thee,  in  that  glory, 
 wherein  I  have  now  seen  thee,  in  heaven,  at  the  right  hand  of 
 God."  Thither  it  was,  that  the  soul  of  the  penitent  thief  on  the 
 cross  ascended.  Christ  said  to  him,  "To-day  shalt  thou  be  with 
 me  in  pnradise."  Paradise  is  the  same  with  the  third  heaven  ;  as 
 appears  by  2  Cor.  xii.  2 — 4.  There,  that  which  is  called  the 
 third  heaven  in  the  second  verse,  in  the  fourth  verse  is  called  par- 
 adise. The  departed  souls  of  the  Apostles  and  Prophets  are  in 
 heaven;  as  is  manifest  from  Rev.  xviii.  20.  ''Rejoice  over  her, 
 thou  heaven,  and  ye  holy  apostles  and  prophets."  The  church 
 of  God  is  distinguished  in  Scripture,  from  time  to  time,  into  these 
 two  parts  ;  that  part  of  it,  which  is  '\n  heaven,  and  that  which  is  in 
 earth  ;  Eph.  iii.  I4,  15.  "Jesus  Christ,  of  whom  the  whole  fami- 
 ly in  heaven  and  earth  is  named."  Col.  i.  20.   "  And  having  made 
 
EDWARDS'  SERMON  AT  BRAINERDS'  FUNERAL.       47a 
 
 peace  through  the  blood  of  his  cross,  by  him  to  reconcile  all  things 
 to  himself;  by  him,  1  say,  whether  they  be  things  in  earth,  or 
 things  in  heaven."  Now  what  '*  things  in  heaven"  are  they  for 
 whom  peace  has  been  made  by  the  blood  of  Christ's  cross,  and 
 who  have  by  him  been  reconciled  to  God  ;  but  the  saints  in  heav- 
 en ^  In  like  manner  we  read,  Eph.  i.  10.  of  "  God's  gathering 
 together  in  one  all  things  in  Christ,  both  which  are  in  heaven,  and 
 which  are  on  earth,  even  in  him."  The  "spirits  of  just  men  made 
 perfect"  are  in  the  same  "  City  of  the  living  God,"  with  the  '*  in- 
 numerable company  of  angels,"  and  "Jesus  the  Mediator  of  the 
 new  covenant ;"  as  is  manifest  by  Heb.  xii.  22 — 24.  The  church 
 of  God  is  often  in  Scripture  called  by  the  name  of  Jerusalem  : 
 and  the  Apostle  speaks  of  the  Jerusalem  ivhich  is  above,  or  which 
 is  in  heaven,  as  the  mother  of  us  all :  but  if  no  part  of  the  church 
 be  in  heaven,  or  none  but  Enoch  and  Elias,  it  is  not  likely  that  the 
 church  would  be  called  the  Jerusalem  which  is  in  heaven. 
 
 II.  They  go  to  dwelt  in  the  immediate,  full,  and  constant  sight 
 or  view  of  Christ, 
 
 When  we  are  absent  from  our  dear  friends,  they  are  out  of 
 sight;  but  when  we  are  with  them,  we  have  the  opportunity  and 
 satisfaction  of  seeing  them.  While  the  saints  are  in  the  body, 
 and  are  absent  from  the  Lord,  he  is  in  several  respects  out  of 
 sight,  1  Pet.  i.  8.  "Whom  having  not  seen,  ye  love:  in  whom, 
 though  now  ye  see  him  not,  yet  believing,"  &;c.  They  have,  in- 
 deed, in  this  world,  a  spiritual  sight  of  Christ;  but  they  see 
 through  a  glass  darkly,  and  with  great  interruption  ;  but  in  heav- 
 en, they  see  him  face  to  face,  1  Cor.  xiii.  12.  "The  pure  in 
 heart  are  blessed ;  for  they  shall  see  God,^''  Matth.  v.  8.  Their 
 beatifical  vision  of  God  is  in  Christ ;  who  is  that  brightness  or 
 effulgence  of  God's  glory,  by  which  his  glory  shines  forth  in  heav- 
 en, to  the  view  of  saints  and  angels  there,  as  well  as  here  on 
 earth.  This  is  the  Sun  of  righteousness,  which  is  not  only  the 
 light  of  this  world,  but  is  also  the  sun  which  enlightens  the  heaven- 
 ly Jerusalem ;  by  whose  bright  beams  the  glory  of  God  shines 
 forth  there,  to  the  enlightening  and  making  happy  of  all  the  glori- 
 ous inhabitants.  "The  Lamb  is  the  light  thereof;  and  so  the 
 Glory  of  God  doth  lighten  it,"  Rev.  xxi.  23.  No  one  sees  God 
 the  Father  immediately.  He  is  the  King  eternal,  immortal,  invisi- 
 ble. Christ  is  the  Image  of  that  invisible  God,  by  which  he  is 
 seen  by  all  elect  creatures.  The  only  begotten  Son  who  is  in  the 
 bosom  of  the  Father,  he  hath  declared  him  and  manifested  him. 
 No  one  has  ever  immediately  seen  the  Father,  but  the  Son  ;  and 
 no  one  else  sees  the  Father  in  any  other  way,  than  by  the  Son's 
 
480     EDWARD'S  SERMON  AT  BRAINERDS'  FUNERAL. 
 
 revealing  him.  In  heaven,  the  spirits  of  just  men  made  perfect 
 see  tiim  as  he  is.  They  behold  his  glory.  They  see  the  glory 
 of  his  divine  nature,  consisting  in  all  the  glory  of  the  Godhead, 
 the  beauty  of  all  his  perfections;  his  great  majesty,  and  almighty 
 power,  his  infinite  wisdom,  holiness,  and  grace;  and  they  see  the 
 beauty  of  his  glorified  human  nature,  and  the  glory  which  the  Fa- 
 ther hath  given  him,  as  God-man  and  Mediator.  For  this  end 
 Christ  desired  that  his  saints  might  "be  tuith  him,  that  they  might 
 behold  his  glory,"  John,  xvii.  24.  When  the  souls  of  the  saints 
 leave  their  bodies,  to  go  to  be  with  Christ,  they  behold  the  glory 
 of  the  work  of  Redemption,  "  which  the  angels  desire  to  look  in- 
 to." They  have  the  clearest  view  of  the  unfathomable  depth  of 
 the  wisdom  and  knowledge  of  God  ;  and  the  brightest  displays  of 
 the  purity  and  holiness  of  God,  which  appear  in  that  work.  They 
 see  in  a  far  clearer  manner  than  the  saints  do  here,  "  what  is  the 
 breadth  and  length,  and  depth  and  height  of  the  grace  and  love  of 
 Christ,"  appearing  in  his  redemption.  As  they  see  the  unspeak- 
 able riches  and  glory  of  God's  grace,  so  they  clearly  understand 
 Christ's  eternal  and  immeasurable  love  to  them  in  particular.  In 
 short,  fhey  see  every  thing  in  Christ  which  tends  to  inflame  and 
 gratify  love,  in  the  most  clear  and  glorious  manner,  without  any 
 darkness  or  delusion,  without  any  impediment  or  interruption. 
 Now  thy  saints,  while  in  the  body,  see  somewhat  of  Christ's  glory 
 and  love;  as  we,  in  the  dawn  of  the  morning,  see  somewhat  of 
 the  reflected  light  of  the  sun  mingled  with  darkness  :  but,  when 
 separated  from  the  body,  they  see  their  glorious  and  loving  Re- 
 deemer, as  we  see  the  sun  when  risen,  above  the  horizon,  by  his 
 direct  beams,  in  a  clear  hemisphere,  and  with  perfect  day. 
 
 III.  They  are  htought  into  a  perfect  conformity  to,  and  union 
 with,    Christ, 
 
 Their  spiritual  conformity  is  begun  while  they  are  in  the  body. 
 Here,  "  beholding  as  in  a  glass,  the  glory  of  the  Lord,  they  are 
 changed  into  the  same  image  ;  but,  when  they  come  to  see  him 
 as  he  is,  in  heaven,  then  they  become  like  him  in  another  manner. 
 That  perfect  sight  will  annihilate  all  remains  of  deformity,  and  sin- 
 ful unlikeness;  as  all  darkness  is  annihilated  before  the  full  blaze 
 of  the  sun's  meridian  light.  It  is  impossible  that  the  least  degree 
 of  obscurity  should  remain  before  such  light;  so  it  is  impossible 
 the  least  degree  of  sin  and  spiritual  deformity  should  remain,  in 
 such  a  view  of  the  spiritual  beauty  and  glory  of  Christ,  as  the 
 saints  enjoy  in  heaven.  When  they  see  the  Sun  of  Righteous- 
 ness without  a  cloud,  they  themselves  shine  forth  as  the  sun,  and 
 shall  be  themselves  as  sun^  without  a  spot.  Then  Christ  presents 
 his  saints  to  himself,  in   glorious  beauty  ;   "  not  having  spot  or 
 
EDWARDS'  SERMON  AT  BRAINERD'S  FUNERAL.     481 
 
 wrinkle,  "or  any  such  thing;"  and  having  hoh'ness  without  a 
 blemish.  Then  their  union  with  Christ,  is  perfected.  This  also 
 is  begun  in  this  world.  The  relative  union  is  both  begun  and  per- 
 fected at  once,  when  the  soul  first  closes  with  Christ  by  faith. — 
 The  real  union ;  consisting  in  the  union  of  heart  [and  affection] 
 and  in  the  vital  union  ;  is  begun  in  this  world  and  perfected  in  the 
 next.  The  union  of  the  heart  of  a  believer  to  Christ,  is  begun 
 when  his  heart  is  drawn  to  Christ,  by  the  first  discovery  of  his  di- 
 vine excellence  at  conversion.  Consequent  on  this  is  established 
 a  vital  union  with  Christ;  whereby  the  believer  becomes  a  living 
 branch  of  the  true  vine,  living  by  a  communication  of  the  sap  and 
 vital  juice  of  the  stock  and  root:  a  member  of  Christ's  mystical 
 body,  living  by  a  communication  of  spiritual  and  vital  influences 
 from  the  head,  and  by  a  participation  of  Christ's  own  life.  But 
 while  the  saints  are  in  the  body,  there  is  much  remaining  distance 
 between  Christ  and  them.  The  vital  union  is  very  imperfect; 
 and  so  is  the  communication  of  spiritual  life  and  vital  influence. 
 There  is  much  between  Christ  and  believers  to  keep  them  asun- 
 der,  much  indwelling  sin,  much  temptation,  a  heavy  moulded,  frail 
 body,  and  a  world  of  carnal  objects,  to  keep  off  the  soul  from 
 Christ,  and  hinder  a  perfect  coalescence.  But  when  the  soul 
 leaves  the  body,  all  these  hindrances  are  removed,  every  separa- 
 ting wall  is  broken  down,  every  impediment  is  taken  out  of  the 
 way,  and  all  distance  ceases;  the  heart  is  wholly  and  perfectly 
 drawn,  and  firmly  and  forever  bound  to  Christ,  by  a  perfect  view 
 of  his  glory.  The  vital  union  is  then  brought  to  perfection;  the 
 soul  lives  perfectly  in  and  upon  Christ ;  being  perfectly  filled  with 
 his  spirit,  and  animated  by  his  vital  influence ;  living  as  it  were 
 only  by  Christ's  life,  without  any  remainder  of  spiritual  death,  ov 
 carnal  life. 
 
 IV.  They  enjoy  a  glorious,  and  immediate^  intercourse  and 
 conversation  with  Christ. 
 
 While  we  are  present  with  our  friends,  we  have  opportunity  for 
 a  free  and  immediate  conversation  with  them,  which  we  cannot 
 have  when  absent.  Therefore,  by  reason  of  the  far  more  free, 
 perfect,  and  immediate  intercourse  with  Christ,  which  the  saints 
 enjoy  when  absent  from  the  body,  are  properly  represented  as 
 present  with  him. 
 
 The  most  intimate  intercourse  becomes  that  relation  in  which 
 the  saints  stand  to  Jesus  Christ ;  and  especially  becomes  that 
 perfect  and  glorious  union  into  which  they  shall  be  brought,  with 
 him  in  heaven.  They  are  not  merely  his  servants,  but  his  friends; 
 John  XV.  15;  his  brethren  and  companions;  Psal.  cxxii.  8;  yea, 
 they  are  the  spouse  of  Christ.     They  are  espoused  or  betrothed 
 
 61 
 
482      EDWARD'S  SERMON  AT  BKAINERD^S  FUNERAL. 
 
 to  Christ  while  in  the  body;  but  when  they  go  to  heaven,  their 
 marriage  with  him  is  come,  and  the  King  brings  him  into  his  pal- 
 ace. Christ  conversed  in  the  most  friendly  manner  with  his  dis- 
 ciples on  earth,  and  admilied  one  of  them  to  lean  on  his  bosom  : 
 but  they  are  admitted  much  more  fully  and  freely  to  converse  with 
 him  in  heaven.  Though  Christ  be  there  in  a  state  of  glorious 
 exaltation,  reigning  in  the  majesty  and  glory  of  the  sovereign  Lord 
 and  God  of  heaven  and  earth,  of  angeis  and  men;  yet  this  will 
 not  hinder  the  intimacy  and  freedom  of  their  intercourse,  but  will 
 rather  promote  it.  He  is  thus  exalted,  not  only  for  himself,  but 
 for  them.  He  is  Head  over  all  things  for  their  sakes,  that  they 
 may  be  exalted  and  glorified;  and,  when  they  go  to  heaven  where 
 he  is,  they  are  exalted  and  glorified  with  him  ;  and  shall  not  be 
 kept  at  a  greater  distance  from  Christ,  but  shall  be  admitted  near- 
 er, and  to  a  greater  intimacy.  They  shall  be  unspeakably  more 
 fit  for  it;  and  Christ  will  be  in  more  fit  circumstances  to  bestow 
 on  them  this  blessedness.  Their  seeing  the  great  glory  of  their 
 friend  and  Redeemer,  will  not  awe  them  to  a  distance,  and  make 
 them  afraid  of  a  near  approach  ;  but  on  the  contrary,  will  most 
 powerfully  draw  them  near,  and  encourage  and  engage  them  to 
 holy  freedom.  They  v^ill  know  that  he  is  their  own  Redeemer, 
 and  beloved  friend  ;  the  very  same  who  loved  them  with  a  dying 
 love,  and  redeem  them  to  God  by  his  blood;  Matt.  xiv.  27.  *'It 
 is  I;  be  not  afraid."  (Rev.  i,  17,  18.)  "Fear  not:  I  am  he  that 
 liveth,  and  was  dead."  The  nature  of  this  glory  of  Christ  which 
 they  shall  see,  will  be  such  as  will  draw  and  encourage  them ;  for 
 they  will  not  only  see  infinite  majesty  and  greatness,  but  infinite 
 grace,  condescension,  gentleness  and  sweetness,  equal  to  his  ma- 
 jesty. He  appears  in  heaven  not  only  as  "  the  Lion  of  the  tribe 
 of  Judah,  but  as  the  Lamb,  and  the  Lamb  in  the  midst  of  the 
 throne  ;"  (Rev.  v.  5,  6, :)  and  this  Lamb  in  the  midst  of  the 
 throne  shall  be  their  shepherd,  to  '*feed  them,  and  lead  them  to 
 living  fountains  of  water;  (Rev  vii.  17;)  so  that  the  sight  of 
 Christ's  majesty  will  be  no  terror  to  them  ;  but  will  only  serve  the 
 more  to  heighten  their  pleasure  and  surprise.  When  Mary  was 
 about  to  embrace  Christ,  being  full  of  joy  at  seeing  him  again 
 alive  after  his  crucifixion,  Christ  forbids  her  to  do  it  for  the  pres- 
 ent;  because  he  was  not  yet  ascended  ;  (John  xx.  16,  17,  "Je- 
 sus saith  unto  her,  *  Mary.'  She  turned  herself,  and  saith  unto 
 him,  '  Rabboni,'  which  is  to  say,  '  Master.'  Jesus  saith  unto  her, 
 *  Touch  me  not ;  for  I  am  not  yet  ascended  to  my  Father  ;  But 
 go  to  my  brethren,  and  say  unto  them,  I  ascend  unto  my  Father 
 and  your  Father,  and  to  my  God  and  your  God."  As  if  he  had 
 said,  "  This  is  not  the  time  and  place  for  that  freedom  which  your 
 
EDWARDS'  SERMON  AT  BRAINERD'S  FUNERAL,      4.^3 
 
 love  to  me  desires.  That  is  appointed  in  heaven  after  my  ascen- 
 sion, I  am  going  thither  :  and  you  who  are  my  true  disciples, 
 shall,  as  my  brethren  and  companions^  soon  be  there  with  me  in 
 my  glory.  That  is  the  place  appointed  for  the  most  perfect  ex- 
 pressions of  complacence  and  endearment."  Accordmgly  the 
 souls  of  departed  saints  in  heaven,  find  Christ  manifesting  thosG 
 infinite  riches  of  love  towards  them,  which  he  has  felt  from  eter- 
 nity;  and  they  are  enabled  to  express  their  love  to  him,  in  an  in- 
 finitely better  manner,  than  they  could  while  in  the  body.  Thus 
 they  shall  be  eternally  encompassed  by  the  infinitely  bright  and 
 mild  and  sweet  beams  of  divine  love  ;  eternally  receiving  that 
 light,  and  forever  reflecting  it  to  the  fountain. 
 
 V.  They  are  received  to  a  glorious  fellowship  with  Christ  in  his 
 blessedness. 
 
 As  the  wife  is  received  to  a  joint  possession  of  her  husband's 
 estate;  and  as  the  wife  of  a  prince  partakes  wit.i  him  in  his  prince- 
 ly possessions  and  honours;  so  the  church,  the  spouse  of  Christ, 
 is  received  to  dwell  with  him  in  heaven,  and  shall  partake  with 
 him  in  his  glory.  When  Christ  rose  from  the  dead,  and  took 
 possession  of  eternal  life  ;  this  was  not  as  a  private  person,  but  as 
 the  Head  of  his  redeemed  people.  He  took  possession  of  it  for 
 them,  as  well  as  for  himself ;  and  "  they  are  quickened  together  with 
 him,  and  raised  up  together.^^  So,  when  he  ascended,  he  took 
 possession  of  heaven  not  only  for  himself,  but  for  his  people,  as 
 their  Forerunner  and  Head,  that  they  might  ascend  also,  "  and 
 sit  together  in  heavenly  places  with  him."  (Eph.  ii.  5.  6.) 
 "Christ  writes  upon  them  his  new  name."  (Rev.  iii.  12.  i.  e.) 
 He  makes  them  partakers  of  his  own  glory  and  exaltation  in  heav- 
 en. His  new  Kame  is  that  new  honour  and  glory  with  vvhicli  the 
 Father  invested  him,  when  he  set  him  at  his  own  right  hand  :  just 
 as  a  prince,  when  he  advances  any  one  to  new  dignity  in  his  king- 
 dom, gives  him  a  new  title.  Christ  and  his  saints  shali  be  glorifi- 
 ed together,  Rom.  viii.  17. 
 
 The  saints  in  heaven  have  communion  with  Christ  in  his  glory 
 and  blessedness  in  heaven,  in  the  following  respects. 
 
 1.  Thty  partake  with  him  in  the  ineffable  delights  which  he  has 
 in  heaven,  in  the  enjoyment  of  his  Father. 
 
 When  Christ  ascended  to  heaven,  he  was  received  to  a  peculiar 
 blessedness  in  the  enjoyment  of  his  Father,  who  in  his  passion 
 hid  his  face  from  him  ;  such  an  enjoyment  as  became  the  relation 
 in  which  he  stood  to  the  Father ;  and  sixh  as  was  a  meet  reward 
 for  the  great  and  difficult  service  which  he  had  performed  on 
 «arth.     Then   "  God  shewed  him  the  path    of  life,  and   brought 
 
484      EDWARDS'  SERMON  AT  BRAINERD'S  FUNERAL, 
 
 him  into  his  presence,  where  is  fulness  of  joy,  and  to  sit  on  his 
 right  hand,  where  there  are  pleasures  for  evermore,"  as  is  said  of 
 Christ,  Psal.  xvi.  11.  Then  the  Father  "made  him  most  hles- 
 sed  for  ever  :  he  made  him  exceeding  glad  with  his  countenance;" 
 as  in  Psal.  xxi.  6.  The  saints,  by  their  union  with  Christ, partake 
 of  his  child-like  relation  to  the  Father;  and  are  heirs  with  him  of 
 his  happiness  in  the  enjoyment  of  his  Father  ;  as  seems  to  be  in- 
 timated by  the  Apostle,  in  Gal.  iv.  4 — 7.  The  spouse  of  Christ, 
 by  her  espousals  to  the  only  begotten  Son  of  God,  is  a  partaker  of 
 his  filial  relation  to  God ;  becomes  the  King's  daughter ;  Psal. 
 xlv.  13;  and  so  partakes  with  her  divine  Husband  in  his  "en- 
 joyment of  his  Father  and  her  Father,  of  his  God  and  her  God." 
 A  promise  of  this  seems  to  be  implied  in  those  words  of  Christ  to 
 Mary,  John,  xx.  17.  Thus  Christ's  faithful  servants  "  enter  into 
 the  joy  of  their  Lord,"  Math.  xxv.  21,  23.;  and  "  Christ's  joy 
 remains  in  them  ;"  agreeably  to  those  words  of  Christ,  John,  xv. 
 11.  Christ  from  eternity  is  in  the  bosom  of  the  Father,  as  the 
 object  of  his  infinite  complacence.  In  him  is  the  Father's  eternal 
 happiness.  Before  the  world  was,  he  was  with  the  Father,  in  the 
 enjoyment  of  his  boundless  love ;  and  had  infinite  delight  and 
 blessedness  in  that  enjoyment;  as  he  declares  of  himself  in 
 Prov.  viii.  30.  "Then  I  was  by  him,  as  one  brought  up  with 
 him  :  and  I  was  daily  his  delight,  rejoicing  always  before  him.'' 
 When  Christ  ascended  to  the  Father  after  his  passion,  he 
 went  to  the  enjoyment  of  the  same  glory  and  blessedness 
 in  the  enjoyment  of  his  love ;  agreeably  to  his  prayer  the 
 evening  before  his  crucifixion,  John  xvii.  5.  "And  now,  O  Fa- 
 ther glorify  me  with  thine  own  self,  Vvith  the  glory  which  I  had 
 with  thee  before  the  world  was.'^  In  the  same  prayer,  he  mani- 
 fests it  to  be  his  will,  that  hjs  true  disciples  should  be  with  him  in 
 the  enjoyment  of  that  joy  and  glory,  vvhich  he  then  asked  for 
 himself;  verse  13.  "  That  my  joy  might  be  fulfilled  in  themselves;" 
 verse  22.  "  And  the  glory  which  thou  gavest  me,  I  have  given 
 them."  This  glory  and  joy  of  Christ,  which  the  saints  are  to 
 enjoy  with  him,  is  that  which  he  has  in  the  enjoyment  of  the 
 Father's  infinite  love  to  him  ;  as  appears  by  the  last  words  of  that 
 prayer  of  our  Lord,  verse  26.  "  That  the  love  wherewith  thou 
 hast  loved  me,  may  be  in  them,  and  I  in  tliem."  The  love  which 
 the  Father  has  to  his  Son  is  great  indeed  ;  the  Deity  does,  as  it 
 were,  wholly  and  entirely  flow  out  in  a  stream  of  love  to  Christ ; 
 and  the  joy  and  pleasure  of  Christ  is  proportionally  great.  This 
 is  the  stream  of  Christ's  delight,  the  river  of  his  infinite  pleasure ; 
 wiiich  he  will  make  his  saints  to  drink  of  with  him  ;  agreeably  to 
 Psal.  xxxvi.  8,  9.     "  They  shall  be  abundantly  satisfied  with  the 
 
EDWARDS'  SERMON  AT  BRAINERD'S  FUNERAL,      m 
 
 fatness  of  thy  house  :  thou  shall  make  them  drink  of  the  river 
 of  thy  pleasures.  For  with  thee  is  the  fountain  of  life  :  in  thy 
 light  shall  we  see  light."  The  saints  shall  have  pleasure  in  par- 
 taking with  Christ  in  his  pleasure,  and  shall  see  light  in  his  light. 
 They  shall  partake  with  Christ  of  the  same  river  of  pleasure, 
 shall  drink  of  the  same  water  of  life,  and  of  the  same  new  wine 
 in  his  Father's  kingdom  ;  Matth.  xxvi.  29.  That  new  wine  is 
 especially  that  joy  and  happiness  which  Christ  and  his  true  disci- 
 ples shall  partake  of  together  in  glory  ;  which  is  the  purchase  of 
 Christ's  blood,  or  the  reward  of  his  obedience  unto  death.  Christ, 
 at  his  ascension  into  heaven,  received  everlasting  pleasures  at  his 
 Father's  right  hand,  in  the  enjoyment  of  his  Father's  love,  as  the 
 reward  of  his  own  obedience  unto  death.  But  the  same  righteous- 
 ness is  reckoned  both  to  the  head  and  the  members  ;  and  both 
 jshali  have  fellowship  in  the  same  reward  ;  each  according  to  their 
 distinct  capacity. 
 
 That  the  saints  in  heaven  thus  partake  with  Christ  in  his  own 
 enjoyment  of  the  Father,  manifests  the  transcendent  excellence  of 
 their  happiness,  and  their  being  admitted  to  a  vastly  higher  privi- 
 lege in  glory  than  the  angels. 
 
 2.  They  partake  with  Christ,  in  the  glory  of  that  dominion, 
 to  which  the  Father  has  exalted  him. 
 
 The  saints,  when  they  ascend  to  heaven,  and  are  made  to  sit 
 together  with  Christ  in  heavenl}  places,  are  exalted  to  reign  with 
 him.  They  are  through  him  made  kings  and  priests,  and  reign 
 with  him,  and  in  him,  over  the  same  kingdom.  As  the  Father 
 has  appointed  unto  him  a  kingdom,  so  he  has  appointed  it  to 
 them.  The  Father  has  appointed  the  Son  to  reign  over  his  own 
 kingdom,  and  the  Son  appoints  his  saints  to  reign  in  his.  The 
 Father  has  given  to  Christ  to  sit  with  him  en  his  throne,  and 
 Christ  gives  to  the  saints  to  sit  with  him  on  his  throne,  agreeably 
 to  his  piomise ;  Rev.  iii.  21.  Christ,  as  God's  Son,  is  the  Heir 
 of  his  kingdom.  ;  and  the  saints  are  joint-heirs  with  Christ;  which 
 implies,  that  they  are  heirs  of  the  sr^iTie  inheritance,  to  possess  the 
 same  kingdom,  in  and  with  him,  according  to  their  capacity. 
 Christ  in  his  l:i;!gdc;iii  reigns  over  heaven  and  earth ;  he  is  ap- 
 pointed the  "  Heir  of  ai!  things;"  and  so  all  things  are  the  saints': 
 "  whether  Paul,  or  Apollcs,  or  Cephas,  or  the  world,  or  life,  or 
 death,  or  things  present,  oi  thi.jgs  to  come,"  all  are  theirs ;  because 
 they  are  Christ's,  and  united  to  him  ;  (1  Cor.  iii.  21 — 23.)  The 
 angels  are  given  lo  Christ  as  a  part  of  his  Hominion,  to  wait  upon 
 him  as  ministering  spirits  :  so  they  are  all  ministering  spirits,  to 
 minister  tothcm  who  ar?  the  hciis  of  salvation.  They  are  Christ's 
 angels,  and  they  are  also  iheir  angels.     Such  is  the  sainto'  union 
 
4'lJ6      EDWARDS'  SERI\fON  AT  BUAINERD'S  FUNERAL. 
 
 with  Christ,  and  their  interest  in  him,  that  what  he  possesses, 
 they  possess,  in  a  much  more  perfect  and  blessed  manner  than  if 
 all  things  were  given  to  them  separately,  and  by  themselves,  to  be 
 disposed  of  according  to  their  discretion.  Ail  things  are  now  dis- 
 posed of  so  as,  in  every  respect,  to  be  most  for  their  blessedness, 
 by  an  infinitely  better  discretion  thnn  their  own  ;  and  are  disposed 
 of,  aJso,  by  their  head  and  husband,  between  whom  and  them 
 there  is  the  most  perfect  union  of  hearts,  and  of  wills,  and  who 
 are  one,  even  as  Christ  and  the  Father  are  one. 
 
 As  the  glorified  spouse  of  this  great  King  reigns  with  him,  in 
 his  doniiinion  over  the  universe  ;  so  more  especially  does  she 
 s^liare  with  him  in  the  joy  and  glory  of  his  reign  in  his  kingdom  of 
 grace.  This  is  pecuharly  the  kingdom  vs'iich  he  possesses  as 
 Head  of  the  Church,  and  is  that  kingdom  b  which  she  is  more 
 especially  interested.  It  was  especially  to  reign  in  this  kingdom, 
 that  God  the  Father  exalted  him  to  his  throne  in  heaven.  He  set 
 his  King  on  his  holy  hill  of  Zion,  especially  that  he  might  reign 
 over  Zion,  or  over  his  church,  in  his  kingdom  of  grace;  and  that 
 he  might  be  under  the  best  advantages  to  carry  on  the  designs  of 
 his  love  in  this  lower  world.  Hence,  the  saints  in  heaven  are  par- 
 takers in  Christ's  joy  when  they  witness  the  prosperity  of  his  king- 
 dom of  grace  on  earth,  and  the  success  of  his  gospel  here  ;  which 
 he  looks  on  as  the  peculiar  glory  of  his  reign.  The  good  shep- 
 herd rejoices  when  he  finds  but  one  sheep  that  was  lost  ;  and  his 
 friends  and  neighbours  in  heaven  rejoice  with  him  on  that  occasion. 
 That  part  of  the  family  which  is  in  heaven  are  surely  not  unac- 
 quainted with  the  affairs  of  that  part  of  the  same  family  which  is 
 on  earth.  They  who  are  with  the  King  and  are  next  to  him,  the 
 royal  family  who  dwell  in  his  palace,  are  not  kept  in  ignorance  of 
 the  affairs  of  his  kingdom.  The  saints  in  heaven  aie  with  the 
 angels,  the  King's  ministers;  by  whom  he  manages  the  affairs  of 
 his  kingdom  ;  and  who  are  continually  ascending  and  descending 
 from  heaven  to  earth,  and  daily  employed  as  ministering  spirits  to 
 each  individual  member  of  the  church  below  :  beside  the  contin- 
 ual ascending  of  the  souls  of  departed  saints  from  all  parts  of  the 
 militant  church.  On  these  accounts  the  saints  in  heaven  must  be 
 under  far  greater  advantages  than  we  are  here,  for  a  full  view 
 of  the  state  of  the  church  on  earth,  and  a  speedy  direct,  and 
 certain  acquaintance  with  all  its  affairs  in  every  country. 
 That  which  gives  them  a  still  greater  advantage  for  such  an 
 acquaintance,  is  their  beiiig  constantly  in  the  immediate  pres- 
 ence of  Christ,  and  in  the  enjoyment  of  the  most  perfect  inter- 
 course with  him,  who,  as  the  King  of  the  Church,  manages  all 
 these  affairs,  and  has  a  perfect  knowledge  of  them.     Christ  is  the 
 
EDWARDS'  SERMON  AT  BRAINERD'S  FUNERAL.     481 
 
 Head  of  the  whole  glorified  assembly  ;  they  are  mystically  his 
 glorified  body  :  and  what  the  head  sees,  it  sees  for  the  informa- 
 tion of  the  whole  body,  according  to  its  capacity  :  and  what  the 
 head  enjoys,  is  for  the  joy  of  the  whole  body.  The  saints,  in 
 leaving  this  world,  and  ascending  to  heaven,  do  not  go  out  of  sight 
 of  things  appertaining  to  Christ's  kingdom  on  earth.  On  the  con- 
 trary, they  go  out  of  a  state  of  obscurity,  and  ascend  above  tiie 
 mists  and  clouds,  into  the  clearest  light  ;  to  a  pinnacle,  in  the 
 very  centre  of  light,  where  every  thing  appears  in  clear  view. 
 They  have  as  much  greater  advantage  to  view  the  state  of  Christ's 
 kingdom,  and  the  works  of  the  new  creation  here,  than  they  had 
 while  in  this  world  5  as  a  man  who  ascends  to  the  top  of  a  high 
 mountE^in  has  greater  advantage  to  view  the  face  of  the  earth, 
 than  he  had  while  he  was  in  a  deep  valley,  or  thick  forest  below ; 
 surrounded  on  every  side  with  those  things  which  impeded  and 
 limited  his  sight.  Nor  do  thej  view  them  as  inditferent  or  un- 
 concerned spectators,  any  more  than  Christ  himself  is  an  uncon- 
 cerned spectator.  The  happiness  of  the  saints  in  heaven  consists 
 very  much  in  beholding  the  glory  of  God  appearing  in  the  work 
 of  Redemption  :  for  it  is  by  this  chiefly  that  God  manifests  his 
 glory,  the  glory  of  his  wisdom,  holiness,  grace,  and  other  perfec- 
 tions, to  both  saints  and  angels;  as  is* apparent  by  many  scrip- 
 tures. Hence,  undoubtedly  much  of  their  happiness  consists  in 
 beholding  the  progress  of  this  work  in  its  application  and  suc- 
 cess, and  the  steps  by  which  Infinite  power  and  wisdom  brings  it 
 to  its  consummation.  They  are  under  unspeakably  greater  ad- 
 vantages to  enjoy  the  progress  of  this  work,  than  we  are  ;  as  they 
 are  under  greater  advantages  to  see  and  understand  the  mar- 
 vellous steps  which  Divine  wisdom  takes  in  all  that  is  done,  and 
 the  glorious  ends  he  obtains  ;  the  opposition  Satan  makes,  and 
 how  he  is  baffled  and  overthrown.  They  can  better  see  the  con- 
 nection of  one  event  with  another,  and  the  beautiful  order  of  all 
 things  which  come  to  pass  in  the  church  in  different  ages  that  to 
 us  appear  like  confusion.  Nor  do  they  only  view  these  things, 
 and  rejoice  in  them,  as  a  glorious  and  beautiful  sight ;  but  as  per- 
 sons interested,  as  Christ  is  interested  ;  as  possessing  these  things 
 in  Christ,  and  reigning  with  him,  in  his  kingdom.  Christ's  suc- 
 cess in  his  work  of  redemption,  in  bringing  home  souls  to  him- 
 self, applying  his  saving  benefits  by  his  Spirit,  and  the  advance- 
 ment of  the  kingdom  of  grace  in  the  world,  is  the  reward  espe- 
 cially promised  to  him  by  his  Father  in  the  Covenant  of  redemp- 
 tion, for  the  hard  and  difficult  service  which  he  performed  while 
 in  the  form  of  a  servant  ;  as  is  manifest  by  Is.  liii.  10 — 12.  But 
 the  saints  shall  partake  with  him  in  the  joy  of  this  reward  ;  for 
 this  obedience  which  is  ^lus  rewarded,   is  reckoned  to  them  as 
 
488     EDWARDS'  SERMON  AT  BRAINERD'S  FUNERAL, 
 
 they  are  his  members.     This  was  specially  the  joy  that  was  set 
 before  Christ;  for  the  sake  of  which,  he  endured   the  cross,  and 
 despised  the  shame  ;  and  his  joy  is  the  joy  of  ail  heaven.    They, 
 who  are  with  him  in  heaven,  are  under  much  the  greatest  advan- 
 tages to  partake  with  him  in  this  joy  ;  for  they  have  a  perfect 
 communion  with  him  through  whom  they  enjoy  all  their  heavenly 
 happiness  ;  as  much  as  the  whole  body  has  all  its  pleasure  of  mu- 
 sic by  the  ear,  and  all   the  benefit  and  refreshment  of  air  by  the 
 lungs.     The  saints  while  on   earth  pray  and  labour  for  the  same 
 thing  for  which   Christ  laboured,  viz.   the  advancement  of  the 
 kingdom  of  God   among  men,  the  promoting  of  the  prosperity  of 
 Zion,  and  the  flourishing  of   religion  in  this  world  ;  and  most  of 
 them  have  suffered  for  that  end  as  Christ  did,  have  been  made 
 partakers  with  their  head  in  his  sufferings,  and  '^  filled  up,  as  the 
 Apostle  expresses   it,  that  which  is   behind  of  the  sufferings   of 
 Christ."     Ilence  they  shall  partake  with  him  of  the  glory  and  joy 
 of  the  end  obtained;  Rom.  viii.  17.     "  We  are  joint-heirs  witli 
 Christ  ;  if  so   be   that   v.^e  suffer  with  him,  that  we  may  be  also 
 glorified  together."     2  Tim.  ii.  12.     "  If  we  suffer  with  him,  we 
 shall   also   reign  with  him."     Christ,   wiien  his  sufferings  were 
 past,  and    he  left  the  earth  and  ascended  to  heaven,  was  so  far 
 from  having  done  with  his  kingdom  in  this  world,  that  it  was  as  it 
 were  but  then  begun.     He   ascended  for  that  very  end,  that  he 
 might  more  fully    possess  and  enjoy  this  kingdom,  and  that  he 
 might  reign  in  it ;  as  a  king  ascends  a   throne  to  reign  over  his 
 people,  and  receive  the  honour  and  glory  of  his   dominion.     No 
 more  have  the  saints  done  with  Christ's  kingdom  on  earth,  when 
 they  leave  the  earth  and  ascend  into  heaven.     "  Christ  ascended 
 in  the   clouds  of  heaven,  and  came   to   the  Ancient  of  days,  and 
 was  brought  near  before  him,"   to  the  veri/  end,  "  that  he   might 
 receive  dominion,  and  glory,  and  a  kingdom  ;  that  all  people,  na- 
 tions and  languages,  should  serve  him,"  Dan.  vii.   13,  14.     This 
 will  be  eminently  fulfilled  after  the    ruin  of  Antichrist,  which  is 
 especially  the  time  of  Christ's  kingdom.     The  same  is  the  time 
 when  "the  kingdom  and  the  dominion,  and  the  greatness  of  the 
 kingdom  under  the  whole  heaven,  shall  be  given  to  the  people  of 
 the  saints  of  the  Most  High  God."     This  is  because  they  shall 
 reign  in  and  with  Christ,  the  Most  High,  "  whose  kingdom  is  an 
 everlasting  kingdom,   "  and  whom  all  dominions  shall  serve  and 
 obey."     This  is  true,  not  only  of  the  saints  on  earth,   but  also  of 
 the  saints  in  heaven.     Hence  the  saints  in  heaven,  having  respect 
 to  this   time,  do  sing,  in  Rev.   v.  10.     "We  shall   reign  on   the 
 earth."    Agreeably  hereto,  it  is  afterwards  represented,  that  when 
 that  time  comes,  the  souls  of  them  who  in  former  ages  had  suf- 
 fered with  Christ,  do  reign  with  Christ  ;  having  as  it  were  given 
 
EDWARDS'  SERMON  AT  BRAINERD'S  FUNERAL.     489 
 
 to  them  new  life  and  joy,  in  that  spiritual  blessed  rcsnrrcrtion, 
 which  shall  then  he  of  the  church  of  God  on  earth  ;  and  thus 
 "The  meek,  tliosc  who  meekly  and  patiently  suffer  with  Christ., 
 and  for  his  sake,  shall  inherit  the  earth  :"  they  shall  inherit  it,  and 
 reign  on  earth  with  Christ.  Christ  is  the  heir  of  the  world  ;  and 
 when  the  appointed  time  of  his  kingdom  comes,  his  inheritance 
 shall  be  given  him;  and  there  the  meek,  who  are  joint-heirs,  shall 
 also  inherit  it.  The  place  in  the  Old  Testament  whence  the&e 
 words  are  taken,  leads  to  their  true  interpretation  ;  Psal.  xxxvii. 
 11.  "The  meek  shall  inherit  the  earth,  and  shall  delight  them- 
 selves in  the  abundance  of  peace."  That  these  words  refer  to 
 the  peace  and  blessedness  of  the  latter  day,  we  learn  by  compar- 
 ing them  with  Psalm  Ixxii.  7.  "  In  his  days  shall  be  abundance 
 of  peace,  so  long  as  the  moOn  endureth  :"  And  Jer.  xxxiii.  6.  "  I 
 will  reveal  to  them  the  abundance  of  peace  and  truth  :"  Also  Is. 
 ii.  4.  Mic.  iv.  3.  Is.  xi.  6 — 9  ;  and  many  other  parallel  places. 
 The  saints  in  heaven  will  as  truly  share  with  Christ  in  reigning  over 
 the  nations,  and  in  the  glory  of  his  dominion  at  that  time,  as  they 
 will  share  with  him  in  the  honour  of  judging  the  world  at  the  last  day. 
 The  promise  of  Christ  to  his  deciples.  Matth.  xix.  28,  29.  seems 
 to  have  a  specidl  respect  to  the  former  of  these,  hi  ver.  28. 
 Christ  promises-  the  disciples,  that  hereafter,  "  when  the  Son  of 
 Man  shall  sit  on  the  throne  of  his  glory,  they  shall  sit  on  twelve 
 thrones,  judging  the  tv.eive  tribes  of  Israel."  The  saints  in  heav- 
 en reigning  on  earth  in  the  glorious  latter  day,  is  described  in 
 language  accommodated  to  this  promise  of  Christ,  Picv.  xx.  4. 
 "  And  I  saw  thrones,  and  they  sat  upon  them  ;  and  judgment 
 was  given  them. — And  they  reigned  with  Christ."  And  tjie 
 promise  in  the  next  verse,  in  that  xixth  of  Matthew,  seems  to 
 have  its  fulfilment  at  the  same  time  :  *'  And  every  one  that  hath 
 forsaken  houses,  or  brethren,  or  sisters,  or  father,  or  wife  or  chil- 
 dren, or  lands,  for  my  names  sake,  shall  receive  an  hundred  fold, 
 and  shall  inherit  everlasting  life  ;"  i.  e.  At  the  time  when  the 
 saints  shall  inherit  the  earth  and  reign  on  earth,  the  earth, 
 with  all  its  blessings  shall  be  given  in  great  abundance  to 
 the  church,  to  be  possessed  by  the  saints.  This  ihey  shall  re- 
 ceive in  the  present  world,  and  in  the  world  to  come  everlasting 
 life.  The  saints  in  heaven  shall  partake  with  Christ  in  the  tri- 
 umph and  glory  of  those  victories  which  he  shall  obtain,  at  that 
 glorious  period  over  the  kings  and  nations  of  the  world  ;  which 
 are  sometimes  represented  by  his  ruling  them  loiih  a  rod  of  iron, 
 and  dashing  them  in  pieces  as  a  potter'' s  vessel.  To  this  doubtless 
 there  is  a  reference  in  Rev.  ii.  26,  27.  "  He  that  overcometh, 
 and  keepeth  my  words  unto  the  end,  to  him  will  I  give  power  over 
 the  nations  ;  and  he  shall  rule  them  with  a  rod  of  iron  ;  as  the- 
 
 02 
 
4m)      EDWARDS'  SERMON  AT  BRAlNERD's  FUNERAL. 
 
 vessels  of  a  potter  shall  they  be  broken  to  shivers,  even  as  I  re- 
 ceived of  my  Father."  And  in  Psal.  cxlix.  5,  to  the  end  ;  "  Let 
 the  saints  be  joyful  in  glory  :  let  them  sing  aloud  upon  their  beds  ; 
 (i.e.  in  their  separate  state  after  death;  compare  Is.  Ivlii.  1,  2.) 
 Let  the  high  praises  of  God  be  in  their  mouth,  and  a  two-edged 
 sword  in  their  hand  ;  to  execute  vengeance  upon  the  heathen, 
 and  punishments  upon  the  people ;  to  bind  their  kings  with 
 chains,  and  their  nobles  with  fetters  of  iron,  to  execute  upon  them 
 the  judgment  written  :  This  honour  have  all  the  saints."  Accor- 
 dingly, when  Christ  appears  riding  forth  to  his  victory  over  An- 
 tichrist, Rev.  xix.  the  hosts  of  heaven  appear  going  forth  with 
 him  in  robes  of  triumph,  ver.  14.  When  Antichrist  is  destroyed,  the 
 inhabitants  of  heaven,  and  the  holy  apostles  and  prophets,  are 
 called  upon  to  rejoice,  chap,  xviii.  20.  Accordingly,  the  wholci 
 multitude  of  the  inhabitants  of  heaven  on  that  occasion,  exult,  and  ^ 
 praise  God  with  exceeding  joy  ;  (chap.  xix.  1 — 8,  and  chap.  xi. 
 15,)  and  are  also  represented  as  greatly  rejoicing  on  occasion  of 
 the  ruin  of  the  heathen  empire,  in  the  days  of  Constantine, 
 (chap.  xii.  10.)  It  is  observable  all  along  in  the  visions  of  that 
 book,  that  the  hosts  of  heaven  appear  as  much  concerned  and  in- 
 terested in  the  events  appertaining  to  the  kingdcfrn  of  Christ  here 
 below,  as  the  saints  on  earth.  The  cemmencement  of  the 
 Church's  latter-day  glory  is  eminently  "  the  day  of  Christ's  es- 
 pousals;" "  the  day  of  the  gladness  of  his  heart,  when  as  the  bride- 
 groom rejoiceth  over  the  bride,  so  he  will  rejoice  over  his 
 church."  Then  will  all  heaven  exceedingly  rejoice  with  him  ; 
 and  therefore  they  say  at  that  time,  (Rev.  xix.  7,)  "Let  us  be 
 glad  and  rejoice,  and  give  glory  to  him  ;  for  the  Marriage  of  th% 
 Lamb  is  come." 
 
 Thus  Abraham  enjoys  these  things,  when  they  come  to  pass, 
 which  were  of  old  promised  to  him,  which  he  saw  before  hand, 
 and  in  which  he  rejoiced.  He  will  enjoy  the  fnliilment  of  the 
 promise  that  all  the  families  of  the  earth  should  be  blessed  in  his 
 seed,  when  it  shall  be  accomplished.  All  the  ancient  patriarchs, 
 who  died  believing  in  the  promises  of  glorious  things  to  be  ac- 
 complished in  this  world  ;  "  who  had  not  received  the  promises, 
 but  saw  them  afar  off,  and  were  persuaded  of  them,  and  embraced 
 them  ;  do  actually  enjoy  them  when  fulfilled.  David  actually 
 saw  and  enjoyed  the  fulfilment  of  that  promise,  in  its  due  time, 
 which  was  made  to  him  many  hundred  years  before,  and  was  all 
 his  salvation  and  all  his  desire."  Thus  Daniel  shall  stand  in  his 
 loty  at  the  end  of  the  days  pointed  out  by  his  own  prophecy. 
 Thus  tbe  saints  of  old,  who  died  in  faith  not  having  received  the 
 promise,  are  made  perfect,  and  have  their  faith  crowned  by  the 
 
EDWARDS'  SERMON  AT  BRAINERD'S  FUNERAL.     491 
 
 better  things   accomplished  in    these  latter  days   of  the  gospel. 
 (Heb>  xi.  39,  40,)  which  they  sec  and  enjoy  in  their  time. 
 
 3.   They  have  fellowship  with   Christy  in  his  blessed  and  eternal 
 Employment  of  glorifying  the  Father, 
 
 The  happiness  of  heaven  consists,  not  merely  nor  principally 
 in  contemplation  and  passive  enjoyment,  but  to  a  great  degree  in 
 action  ;  and  particularly  in  actively  serving  and  glorifying  God. 
 This  is  expressly  mentioned  as  a  great  part  of  the  blessedness  of 
 the  saints  in  their  perfect  state,  Rev.  xxii.  3.  "  And  there  shall 
 he  no  more  curse  ;  but  the  throne  of  God  and  of  the  Lamb  shall 
 be  in  it;  and  his  servants  shall  serve  him."  The  angels  are  as  a 
 flame  of  fire  in  their  ardour  and  activity  in  God's  service.  The 
 four  living  creatures,  (Rev.  iv.)  wlio  are  generally  supposed  to 
 signify  the  angels,  are  represented  as  continually  giving  praise 
 and  glory  to  God,  and  are  said  not  to  rest  day  nor  night.  The 
 souls  of  departed  saints  are  doubtless  become  as  the  angels  of 
 God  in  this  respect.  Jesus  Christ  is  the  head  of  the  whole  glo- 
 rious assembly,  as  in  other  things  pertaining  to  their  blessed  state, 
 so  in  this  of  their  praising  and  glorifying  the  Father.  When 
 Christ,  the  night  before  he  was  crucified,  prayed  for  his  exalta- 
 tion to  glory,  it  was  that  he  might  glorify  the  Father;  John,  xvii. 
 1.  "  These  words  spake  Jesus,  and  lift  up  his  eyes  to  heaven, 
 and  said,  '  Father,  the  hour  is  come  ;  glorify  thy  Son  ;  that  thy 
 Son  also  may  glorify  thee."  This  he  doubtless  does,  now  he  is  in 
 heaven  ;  not  only  in  fulfilling  the  Father's  will,  in  what  he  does 
 as  Head  of  the  church  and  Ruler  of  the  universe  ;  but  also  in 
 leading  the  heavenly  assembly  in  their  praises.  When  Christ  iu- 
 «»stituted  the  Lord's  Supper,  and  ate  and  drank  with  his  disciples 
 at  his  table  ;  giving  them  therein  a  representation  and  pledge  of 
 their  future  feasting  with  him,  and  drinking  new  wine  in  hie; 
 heavenly  Father's  kingdom  ;  he  at  that  time  Ved  them  in  their 
 praises  to  God,  in  the  hymn  which  they  sang.  So,  doubtless,  he 
 leads  his  glorified  disciples  in  heaven.  David,  as  the  sweet 
 psalmist  of  Israel,  led  the  great  congregation  of  God's  people  in 
 their  songs  of  praise.  In  this,  as  in  innumerable  other  things,  he 
 was  a  type  of  Christ ;  who  is  often  spoken  of  in  Scripture  by  the 
 \i2iVCiQ.  oi  David.  Many  of  the  psalms  which  David  penned,  were 
 songs  of  praise,  which  he,  by  the  Spirit  of  prophecy,  uttered  in 
 the  name  of  Christ,  as  head  of  the  church,  and  leading  the  saints 
 in  their  praises.  Christ  in  heaven  leads  the  glorious  assembly  in 
 their  praises  to  God,  as  Moses  did  the  congregation  of  Israel 
 at  the  Red  Sea  :  which  is  implied  in  its  being  said,  that  "  they 
 sing  the  song  of  Moses  and  the  Lamb."  (Rev.  xv.  2,  3.)  In  Rev. 
 xix.  5.  John  tells  us,  that  "  he  heard  a  voice  come  out  of  the 
 throne,  saying,  "  Praise  our  God,  all  yc  his  servants,  and  yc  that 
 
492     EDWARDS'  SERMON  AT  BRAINERD'S  FtJNERAL. 
 
 fear  him,  both  small  and  great."  Who  can  it  be,  that  utters  this 
 voice  out  of  the  throne^  but  "  the  Lamb  who  h  in  the  midst  of  the 
 throne,"  calling  on  the  glorious  assembly  of  saints  to  praise  his 
 Father  and  their  Father,  his  God  and  their  God  ?  What  the 
 consequence  of  this  voice  is,  we  learn  in  the  following  words  : 
 "And  I  heard  as  it  were  the  voice  of  a  great  multitude,  and  as 
 the  voice  of  many  waters,  and  as  the  voice  of  mighty  thunder- 
 ingSj  saying,  '  Alleluia  ;  for  the  Lord  God  Omnipotent  reigneth." 
 
 APPLICATION. 
 
 The  subject,  which  we  have  been  considering,  may  be  use- 
 fully applied  in  the  way  of  exhortation.  Let  us  all  be  exhorted 
 hence  earnestly  to  seek  after  that  great  privilege  which  has  been 
 spoken  of;  that  when  "  we  are  absent  from  the  body,  we  may  be 
 present  with  the  Lord."  We  cannot  continue  always  in  these 
 earthly  tabernacles.  They  are  very  frail,  and  will  soon  decay 
 and  fall  ;  and  are  continually  liable  to  be  overthrown  by  innume- 
 rable means.  Our  souls  must  soon  leave  them,  and  go  into  the 
 eternal  world.  O,  how  infinitely  great  will  be  the  privilege  and 
 happiness  of  those,  who,  at  that  time  shall  go  to  be  with  Christ 
 in  his  glory,  in  the  manner  that  has  been  represented !  The 
 privilege  of  the  twelve  disciples  was  great,  in  being  so  constantly 
 with  Christ  as  his  family,  in  his  state  of  humiliation.  The  privi- 
 lege of  those  three  disciples  was  great,  who  were  with  him  in  the 
 mount  of  his  TransHguration  ;  where  was  exhibited  to  them  a 
 faint  semblance  of  his  future  glory  in  heaven,  such  as  they  might 
 safely  behold  in  the  present  frail,  feeble,  and  sinful  state.  They 
 were  greatly  delighted  with  what  they  saw  ;  and  were  desirous 
 of  making  tabernacles  to  dwell  there,  and  return  no  more  down 
 the  mount.  Great,  also,  was  the  privilege  of  Moses  when  he 
 was  with  Christ  in  Mount  Sinai,  and  besought  him  to  shew  him 
 his  glory,  and  he  saw  his  back-parts  as  he  passed  by,  and  heard 
 him  proclaim  bis  Name.  But  is  not  that  privilege  infinitely  great- 
 er, which  has  now  been  spoken  of:  the  privilege  of  being  with 
 Christ  in  heaven,  where  he  sits  on  the  throne,  as  the  King  of  an- 
 gels, and  the  God  of  the  universe  ;  shining  forth  as  the  Sun  of 
 that  world  of  glory  ; — there  to  dwell  in  the  full,  constant,  and 
 everlasting  view  of  his  beauty  and  brightness  ; — therc/tnost  freely 
 and  intimately  to  converse  with  him,  and  fully  to  enjoy  his  love, 
 as  his  friends  and  brethren  ; — there  to  share  witjj^him  in  the  infi- 
 nite pleasure  and  joy  which  he  has  in  the  enjoyment  of  his  Fa- 
 ther ; — there  to  sit  with  him  on  his  throne  to  reign  with  him  in 
 the  possession  of  all  things,  to  partake  with  him  in  the  glory  of 
 his  victory  over  his  enemies,  and  the  advancement  of  his  king- 
 dom in  the  world,  and  to  join  with  him  in  joyful  songs  of  praise  to 
 
KDWARDS'  SERMON  AT  BRAINERD'S  FUNERAL.     493 
 
 bis  Father  and  our  Father,  to  his  God  and  our  God,  for  ever  and 
 ever  ?     Is  not  this  a  privilege  worth  the  seeking  after  ? 
 
 Here,  as  a  powerful  enforcement  of  this  exhortation,  I  would 
 improve  that  afflictive  dispensation  of  God's  holy  Providence, 
 which  is  the  occasion  of  our  coming  together  at  this  time  :  the 
 Death  of  that  eminent  servant  of  Jesus  Christ,  whose  funeral  is 
 this  day  to  be  attended  5  together  with  what  was  observable  in  him, 
 living  and  dying. 
 
 In  this  dispensation  of  Providence,  God  puts  us  in  mind  of  our 
 mortality,  and  forewarns  us  that  the  time  is  approaching  when  we 
 must  be  "  absent  from  the  body  ;"  and  "  must  appear,"  as  the 
 Apostle  observes  in  the  next  verse  but  one  to  the  text,  "before 
 the  judgment-seat  of  Christ,  that  every  one  of  us  may  receive  the 
 things  doiie  in  the  body,  according  to  what  we  have  done,  wheth- 
 er it  be  good  or  bad." 
 
 In  him,  whose  death  we  are  now  called  to  consider  and  im- 
 prove, we  have  not  only  an  instance  of  moriality  ;  but  as  we  have 
 all  imaginable  reason  to  conclude,  an  iiistauce  of  one,  who,  be- 
 ing absent  from  the  body,  is  present  with  the  Lord.  Of  this,  we 
 shall  he  convinced,  whether  we  consider  the  nature  of  his  expe- 
 rience at  the  time  whence  he  dates  his  conversion  ;  or  the  nature 
 and  course  of  his  inward  exercises  from  that  time  forward  ;  or  his 
 outward  conversation  and  practice  in  life  ;  or  his  frame  and  be- 
 haviour during  the  whole  of  that  long  space  wherein  he  looked 
 death  in  the  face. 
 
 His  convictions  of  sin,  preceding  his  first  consolations  in  Christ, 
 as  appears  by  a  written  account  which  he  has  left  of  his  inward 
 exercises  and  experiences,  were  exceedingly  deep  and  thorough. 
 His  trouble  and  sorrow  arising  from  a  sense  of  guilt  and  misery, 
 Tv^ere  very  great  and  long  continued,  but  yet  sound  and  rational ; 
 consisting  in  no  unsteady,  violent,  and  unaccountable  frights, 
 and  perturbations  of  mind  ;  but  arising  from  the  most  serious  con- 
 sideration, and  a  clear  illumination  of  tlie  conscience  to  discern 
 and  consider  the  true  state  of  things.  The  light  let  into  his  mind 
 at  conversion,  and  the  influences  and  exercises  to  which  his  mind 
 was  subject  at  that  time,  appear  very  agreeable  to  reason  and 
 the  gospel  of  Jesus  Christ.  The  cl\ange  was  very  great  and  re- 
 markable ;  yet  without  any  appearance  of  strong  impressions  on 
 the  imagination,  of  sudden  flights  of  the  affections,  or  of  vehe- 
 ment emotions  of  the  animal  nature.  It  was  attended  with  just 
 views  of  the  supreme  glory  of  the  divine  Being  ;  consisting  in  the 
 infinite  dignity  and  beauty  of  the  perfections  of  his  nature,  and 
 of  the  transcendent  excellency  of  the  way  of  salvation  by  Christ. 
 —This  was  about  eight  years  ago,  when  he  was  twenty-one  years 
 of age. 
 
494     EmVARi:)S'  SERMON  AT  BRAINERD'S  FUNERAL. 
 
 Thus  God  sanctified,  and  made  meet  for  his  use,  that  vessel^ 
 which  he  intended  to  make  eminently  a  vessel  of  honour  in  his 
 house,  and  which  he  had  made  of  large  capacity,  having  endow- 
 ed him  with  very  uncommon  abilities  and  gifts  of  nature.  He 
 was  a  singular  instance  of  a  ready  invention,  natural  eloquence, 
 easy  flowing  expression,  sprightly  apprehension,  quick  discern- 
 ment, and  very  strong  memory;  and  yet  of  a  very  penetrating 
 genius,  close  and  clear  thought,  and  piercing  judgment.  He 
 had  an  exact  taste:  His  understanding  was,  if  I  may  so  express 
 it,  of  a  quick,  strong,  and  distinguishing  scent. 
 
 His  learning  was  very  considerable.  He  had  a  great  taste  for 
 learning  ;  and  applied  himself  to  his  studies  in  so  close  a  manner 
 when  he  was  at  college,  that  he  much  injured  his  health  ;  and  was 
 obliged  on  that  account  for  a  while  to  leave  college,  throw  by  his 
 studies,  and  return  home.  He  was  esteemed  one  who  excelled 
 in  learning  in  that  society. 
 
 He  had  extraordinary  knowledge  of  men,  as  well  as  of  things  ; 
 and  an  uncommon  insiglit  into  human  nature.  He  excelled  most 
 whom  I  ever  knew  in  the  power  of  communicating  his  thoughts; 
 and  had  a  peculiar  talent  at  accommodating  himself  to  the  ca- 
 pacities, tempers,  and  circumstances,  of  those  whom  he  would 
 instruct  or  counsel. 
 
 He  had  extraordinary  gifts  for  tlie  pulpit.  1  never  had  an  op- 
 portunity to  hear  him  preach  ;  but  have  often  heard  him  pray. 
 I  think  that  his  mannerof  addressing  himself  to  God,  and  express- 
 ing himself  before  him,  in  that  duty,  almost  inimitable  ;  such  as 
 I  have  very  rarely  known  equalled.  He  expressed  himself  with 
 such  exact  propriety  and  pertinency  ;  in  such  significant,  weigh- 
 ty, pungent  expressions  ;  with  such  an  appearance  of  sincerity, 
 reverence,  and  solemnity,  and  so  great  a  distance  from  all  af- 
 fectation, as  forgetting  the  presence  of  men,  and  as  being  in  the 
 immediate  presence  of  a  great  and  holy  God  ;  as  I  have  scarcely 
 cvcrknown  paralleled.  His  manner  of  preaching,  by  what  I  have 
 often  heard  of  it  from  good  judges,  was  no  less  excellent  ;  being 
 clear  and  instructive,  natural,  nervous  and  moving,  and  very 
 searching  and  convincing.  He  nauseated  an  affected  noisiness, 
 and  violent  boisterousness  in  the  pulpit  ;  and  yet  much  disrelish- 
 ed a  flat  cold  delivery,  when  the  subject  required  affection  and 
 earnestness. 
 
 Not  only  had  he  excellent  talents  for  the  study  and  the  pu?pit, 
 but  also  for  conversation.  He  was  of  a  social  disposition  ;  was 
 remarkably  free,  entertaining,  and  profitable  in  his  ordinary  dis- 
 course :  and  discovered  uncommon  ability  in  disputing  ;  in  de- 
 fending truth  and  confuting  error. 
 
EDWARDS'  SERMON  AT  BRAINERD'S  FUNERAL.      496 
 
 He  excelled  in  his  knowledge  of  Theology;  and  was  truly,  for 
 one  of  his  standing,  an  extraordinary  divine;  but  above  all  in 
 matters  relating  to  experimental  religion.  In  this,  I  know  that  I 
 have  the  concurring  opinion  of  some,  who  are  generally  regarded 
 as  persons  of  the  best  judgment.  According  to  what  ability  I 
 have  to  judge  of  things  of  this  nature,  and  according  to  my  oppor- 
 tunities, which  of  late  have  been  very  great,  I  never  knew  his 
 equal,  of  his  age  and  standing,  for  clear,  accurate  notions  of  the 
 sature  and  essence  of  true  religion,  and  its  distinctness  from  its 
 various  false  appearances.  This  I  suppose  to  be  owing  to  the 
 strength  of  his  understanding;  to  the  great  opportunities  which 
 he  had  of  observing  others,  both  whites  and  Indians  ;  and  to  his 
 own  great  experience. 
 
 His  experiences  of  the  holy  influences  of  God's  Spirit  were  not 
 only  great  at  his  first  conversion;  but  they  were  so,  in  a  continued 
 course,  from  that  time  forward.  This  appears  from  a  diary,  which 
 he  kept  of  his  daily  inward  exercises,  from  the  time  of  his  con- 
 version, until  he  was  disabled  by  the  failing  of  his  strength,  a  fe\r 
 days  before  his  death.  The  change,  which  he  looked  upon  as 
 his  conversion,  was  not  only  a  great  change  of  the  present  views, 
 affections,  and  frame  of  his  mind  ;  but  was  evidently  the  begin- 
 ning of  that  work  of  God  in  his  heart,  which  God  carried  on,  in  a 
 very  wonderful  manner,  from  that  time  to  his  dying  day.*  He 
 abhorred  the  course  pursued  by  those,  who  live  on  their 
 first  evidences  of  piety,  as  though  they  had  now  finished  theii- 
 
 *This  more  abundantly  appear^  from  a  farther  acquaintance  with  his  diary,  since 
 this  sermon  was  delivered.  Grace  in  him  seems  to  have  been  almost  continually, 
 with  scarcely  the  intermission  of  a  day,  in  very  sensible,  and  indeed  vigorous  and 
 powerful  exercise,  in  one  respect  or  other.  His  heart  appears  to  have  been  exer- 
 cised, in  a  continued  course,  in  such  things  as  these  that  follow  :  the  most  ardent 
 and  pure  love  to  God  ;  great  weauedness  from  the  world,  and  sense  of  its  vanity  ; 
 great  humiliation;  a  most  abasing  sense  of  his  own  vileness  ;  a  deep  sense  of  in- 
 dwelling sin,  which  indeed  was  most  evidently,  by  far  the  greatest  burden  of  his 
 life,  and  more  than  all  other  afflictions  that  he  met  with  put  together;  great  brolcen- 
 ness  of  heart  before  God,  for  his  small  attainments  in  grace,  that  he  loved  God  so 
 little,  &c.  mourning  that  he  was  so  unprofitable  ;  earnest  longings  and  thirstings  of 
 soul  after  holiness  ;  earnest  desires  that  God  might  be  glorified,  and  that  Clirist's 
 kingdom  might  be  advanced  in  the  world;  wrestlings  with  God  in  prayer  ibr  these 
 things:  delight  in  the  gospel  of  Jesus  Christ,  and  the  way  of  salvation  by  him  ;  sweet 
 complacence  in  those  whose  conversation  savoured  of  true  holiness :  compassion  to 
 the  souls  of  men,  and  earnest  intercessions  in  secret  for  them  ;  great  resignation  to- 
 the  will  of  God;  a  very  frequent,  most  sensible,  renewed  renunciation  of  all  things 
 for  Christ,  and  giving  up  himself  wholly  to  God,  in  soul  and  body  ;  great  distrust  of 
 his  own  heart,  and  universal  dependence  on  God;  longings  after  full  deliverance 
 from  the  body  of  sin  and  death,  after  perfect  conformity  to  God,  and  perfectly  glori- 
 fying him  in  heaven  ;  clear  views  of  eternity,  almost  as  though  he  were  actually 
 out  of  the  body,  and  had  his  eyes  open  in  another  world;  con:~tant  watchfulness  over 
 his  own  heart,  and  continual  earnestness  in  his  inward  warfare  with  sin  ;  together 
 with  great  care  to  the  utmost,  to  improve  time  for  God,  in  his  service,  and  to  hi'; 
 glory. 
 
<9S       EDWARDS'  SERMON   AT  BRAINERD'S  FUNERAL. 
 
 work  ;  and  thenceforuMrd  gradually  settle  into  a  cold,  lifeless, 
 negligent,  worldly  frame. 
 
 His  experiences  were  very  difluirent  from  many  things,  which 
 have  lately  been  regarded  by  muUitudes,  as  the  very  height  of 
 Christian  experience.  When  that  false  rehgion,  which  arises 
 chiefly  from  impressions  on  the  imagination,  began  first  to  gain  a 
 very  great  prevalence  in  the  land,  he  was  for  a  httle  while  de- 
 ceived with  it,  go  as  to  think  highly  of  it.  Though  he  knew  that 
 he  never  had  such  experiences  as  others  told  of,  yet  he  thought 
 it  was  because  their  attainments  were  superior  to  his  ;  and  so 
 coveted  them,  and  sought  after  them,  but  could  never  obtain 
 them.  He  told  me  that  be  never  had  what  is  called  an  impulse, 
 or  a  strong  impression  on  his  im,aginaiion.m  things  of  religion,  in 
 bis  life  ;  yet  owned,  that  during  the  snort  time  in  which  he 
 thought  well  of  these  things,  he  was  tinged  with  that  spirit  of  false 
 zeal,  which  was  wont  to  attend  them  ;  but  added,  that,  even  at  this 
 time,  he  was  not  in  his  element,  but  as  a  fish  out  of  water.  When, 
 after  a  little  while,  he  came  clearly  to  see  the  vanity  and  perrri- 
 ciousness  of  such  things,  it  cost  him  abundance  of  sorrow  and  dis- 
 tress of  mind,  and  to  my  knowledge  he  afterwards  freely  and 
 openly  confessed  the  errors  in  conduct  into  which  he  had  run, 
 and  humbled  himself  before  those  whom  he  had  offended.  Since 
 his  conviction  of  his  error  in  those  respects,  he  has  ever  had  a  pe- 
 culiar abhorrence  of  that  kind  of  bitter  zeal,  and  those  delusive 
 experiences  which  have  been  the  principal  source  of  it.  He  de- 
 tested Enthusiasm  in  all  its  forms  and  operations  ^  and  condemned 
 whatever  in  opinion  or  experience  seemed  to  verge  towards  An- 
 tinomianism.  He  regarded  with  abhorrence  the  experiences  of 
 those,  whose  first  faith  consists  in  believing  that  Christ  died  for 
 them  in  particular ;  whose  first  love  consists  in  loving  God,  be- 
 cause they  suppose  themselves  the  objects  of  his  love  ;  and  whose 
 assurance  of  their  good  estate  arises  from  some  immediate  testi- 
 mony, or  suggestion,  either  with  or  without  texts  of  Scripture, 
 that  their  sins  are  forgiven,  and  that  God  loves  them.;  as  well  as 
 the  joys  of  those  who  rejoice  more  in  their  own  supposed  distinc- 
 tion above  others,  in  honour,  privileges,  and  high  experiences, 
 than  in  God's  excellence  and  Christ's  beauty  ;  and  the  spiritual 
 pride  of  those  laymen,  who  set  themselves  up  as  public  teachers, 
 and  decry  human  learning,  and  a  learned  ministry.  He  greatly 
 nauseated  every  thing  like  noise  and  ostentation  in  religion,  and 
 the  disposition  which  many  possess  to  publish  and  proclaim  their 
 own  experiences ;  though  he  did  not  condemn,  but  approved  of 
 C-hristians  speaking  of  their  experi.enccs,  on  some  occasions,  and 
 to  some  persons,  with  modesty,  discretion  and  reserve.  He  abom- 
 inated the  spirit  and  practice  of  the  generality  of  the  Separatists 
 
EDWARDS'  SERMON  AT  BRAINERD'S  FUNERAL.     497 
 
 in  this  land.  I  heard  him  say,  once,  and  again,  that  he  had  had 
 much  intercourse  with  this  class  of  people,  and  was  acquainted 
 with  many  of  them  in  various  parts  of  the  country;  and  that  by 
 this  acquaintance  he  knew,  that  what  was  chiefly  and  most  i^ene- 
 rally  in  repute  among  them,  as  the  power  of  godliness,  was  en- 
 tirely a  ditierent  thing  from  that  vital  pi(-'ty  recommended  in  the 
 Scriptures,  and  had  nothing  in  it  of  tliat  nature.  lie  never  was 
 more  full  in  condemning  these  things  than  in  his  last  iMness,  and 
 after  he  ceased  to  have  any  expectations  of  life  :  pailicularly, 
 when  he  had  the  greatest  and  nearest  views  of  approaching  eter- 
 nity ;  and  several  times,  when  he  thought  himself  actually  dying, 
 and  expected  in  a  few  minutes  to  be  in  the  eternal  world,  as  lie 
 himself  told  me.* 
 
 *  Since  this  Sermon  was  preached,  I  find  what  follows  in  his  Diary  for  the  last 
 sumofier. 
 
 "  Thursday,  June  18.  *'  I  was  this  day  taken  exceeding:  ill,  and  brought  to  the 
 gates  of  death. — In  this  extremely  weak  state  I  continued  for  several  weeks ;  and 
 was  frequently  reduced  so  low  as  to  be  utterly  speechless,  and  not  able  so  much  as 
 to  whisper  a  word.  Even  after  I  had  so  far  revived,  as  to  walk  about  house,  and  to 
 step  out  of  doors,  1  was  exercised  every  dny  with  a  faint  turn,  which  cosjtinued  usu- 
 ally four  or  five  hours.  At  these  times,  though  I  could  say  yes  or  no  ;  yet  I  could 
 not  converse  at  all,  nor  speak  one  sentence  without  making  stops  for  breath.  And 
 divers  times,  in  this  season,  my  friends  gathered  round  my  bed,  to  see  me  breathe 
 my  last ;  which  they  looked  for  every  moment,  as  I  myself  also  did.    * 
 
 "  How  I  was  the  first  day  or  two  of  my  illness,  with  regard  to  the  exercise  of  rea- 
 son, I  scarcely  know  :  but  1  believe  I  was  somewhat  shattered,  with  the  violence  of 
 the  fever,  at  times.  But  the  third  day  of  my  illness,  and  constantly  afterwards,  for 
 four  or  five  weeks  together,  I  enjoyed  as  much  serenity  of  mind,  and  clearness  of 
 thought,  as  perhaps  I  ever  did  in  my  life.  I  think  that  my  mind  never  pen';trated 
 with  so  much  ease  and  freedom  into  divine  things  as  at  this  time  ;  and  that  I  never 
 felt  so  capable  of  demonstrating  the  truth  of  many  important  doctrines  of  the  gospel 
 as  now. 
 
 "As  I  saw  clearly  the  truth  of  those  great  doctrines,  which  are  justly  styled  the 
 doctrines  of  grace  ;  so  I  saw  with  no  less  clearness,  that  the  essence  of  true  religion 
 consists  in  the  soul's  conformity  to  God,  and  acting  above  all  selfish  views,  for  his 
 glory,  longing  to  be  for  him,  to  live  to  him,  and  please  and  honour  him  in  all  things; 
 and  that,  from  a  clear  view  of  his  infinite  excellence  and  worthiness  in  himself,  to  be 
 lored,  adored,  worshipped,  and  served,  by  all  intelligent  creatures.  Thus  I  saw, 
 that  when  a  soul  loves  God  with  a  supreme  love,  he  therein  acts  like  the  blessed 
 God  himself,  who  most  justly  loves  himself  in  that  manner  ;  so  when  God's  interest 
 and  his  are  become  one,  and  he  longs  that  God  should  be  glorified,  and  rt\joices  to 
 think  that  he  is  unchangeably  possessed  of  the  highest  glory  and  blessedness,  herein 
 also  he  acts  in  conformity  to  God.  In  like  manner,  wlicn  the  soul  is  fully  resigned 
 to,  and  rests  satisfied  and  contented  with  the  divine  will,  here  he  is  also  conformed 
 to  God. 
 
 "I  saw  further,  that  as  this  divine  temper,  whereby  the  soul  exalts  God,  and 
 treads  itself  in  the  dust,  is  wrought  in  the  soul  by  God's  discovering  his  own  glori- 
 ous perfections,  in  the  face  of  Jesus  Christ,  to  it,  by  the  special  infiuence?  of  iiis  Ifoly 
 Spirit;  so  he  could  not  but  have  regard  to  it  as  his  own  work:  As  it  i?  his  image  in 
 the  soul,  he  could  not  but  take  delight  in  it.  Then  I  saw  again  that  if  (iod  should 
 slight  and  reject  his  own  moral  image,  he  must  needs  deny  himself;  which  he  can- 
 not do.  Thus  I  saw  the  stability  and  infullibility  of  this  religion;  and  that  Uiose 
 who  were  truly  possessed  of  it,  had  the  most  complete  and  satisfying  evidence  of 
 their  being  interested  in  all  the  benefits  of  Christ's  redemption,  having  lUeir  hearts 
 
 63 
 
498     EDWARDS'  SERMON  AT  BRAINERD'S  FUNERAL. 
 
 As  his  inward  appearances  appear  to  have  been  of  the  right 
 kind,  and  were  very  remarkable  as  to  their  degree,  so  were  his 
 outward  behaviour  and  practice  agreeable.  In  his  whole  course, 
 he  acted  as  one  who  had  indeed  sold  all  for  Christ,  had  entirely 
 devoted  himself  to  God,  had  made  his  glory  his  highest  end,  and 
 was  fully  deternlined  to  spend  his  whole  time  and  strength  in  his 
 service.  He  was  animated  in  religion,  in  the  right  way  :  animated 
 not  merely,  nor  chiefly,  with  his  tongue,  in  professing  and  talking; 
 but  animated  in  the  ivork  and  business  of  religion.  He  was  not 
 one  of  those  who  contrive  to  shun  the  cross,  and  get  to  heaven  in 
 
 conformed  to  him  ;  and  that  these,  and  these  only,  were  qualified  for  the  employ- 
 ments and  entertainments  of  God's  kingdom  of  glory  ;  as  none  but  these  would 
 have  any  relish  for  the  business  of  heaven,  which  is  to  ascribe  glory  to  God,  and  not 
 to  themselves  ;  and  that  God,  (though  I  would  speak  it  with  great  reverence  of  his 
 name  and  perfections)  could  not,  without  denying  himself,  finally  cast  sucii  away. 
 
 "■  The  next  tiling  1  had  then  to  do,  was  to  enquire,  Whether  this  was  my  religion. 
 Here  God  was  pleased  to  help  me  to  the  most  easy  remembrance,  and  critical  review 
 of  what  had  passed  in  course,  of  a  religious  nature,  through  several  of  tlie  latter 
 years  of  my  life.  Although  I  could  discover  much  corruption  attending  my  best 
 duties,  many  selfi.-h  views  and  carnal  ends,  much  spiritual  pride,  and  self-exaltation, 
 and  innumerable  other  evils  which  compassed  me  about;  I  say,  although  I  now 
 discerned  the  sins  of  my  holy  things,  as  wall  as  other  actions  ;  yet  God  was  pleased, 
 as  I  was  reviewing,  quickly  to  put  this  question  out  of  doubt,  by  shewing  me  that  I 
 had,  from  time  to'time,  acted  above  the  utmost  influence  of  mere  self-love  ;  that  I 
 had  longed  to  please  and  glorify  him,  as  my  highest  happiness,  &c.  This  review, 
 v/as  through  grace,  attended  with  a  present  feeling  of  the  same  divine  temper  of 
 mind.  I  felt  noAv  pleased  to  think  of  the  glory  of  God ;  and  longed  for  heaven,  as  a 
 state  wherein  I  might  glorify  God  perfectly,  rather  than  a  place  of  happiness  for  my- 
 self. Tliis  feeling  of  the  love  of  God  in  my  heart,  which  I  trust  the  Spirit  of  God 
 excited  in  me  afresh,  was  sufficient  to  give  me  full  satisfaction,  and  make  me  long 
 iis  I  had  many  times  before  done,  to  be  with  Christ.  I  did  not  now  want  any  of  the 
 sadden  suggestions,  with  which  many  are  so  pleased,  '  That  Christ  and  his  benefits 
 are  mixe,'"' T/h//  God  /ores  me,'  in  order  to  give  me  satisfaction  abovit  my  state. 
 No  :  mv  soul  abhorred  tno?e  delusions  of  Satan  ;  which  are  thought  to  be  the  imme- 
 diate witness  of  the  Spirit,  while  there  is  nothing  but  an  einpti/  suggestion  of  a  certain 
 fact,  witliout  any  gracious  discovery  of  the  divine  glory,  or  of  the  Spirit's  work  in 
 their  own  hearts.  I  saw  the  awful  delusion  of  this  kind  of  confidences  ;  as  well  as 
 of  the  whole  of  that  religion  from  which  they  usually  spring,  or  of  which  at 
 least  they  are  the  attendants ;  the  false  religion  of  the  late  day,  though  a  day  of 
 wondrous  grace;  the  inia2:irtations  and  impressions  iiKide  only  on  the  animal  affec- 
 tions ;  together  Avith  tl\o  sudden  suggestions  made  to  the  mind  by  Satan,  transform- 
 ed into  an  angel  of  lig'it,  of  certain  facts  not  revealed  in  Scripture  :  These  I  say, 
 and  many  like  things,^  I  fear  have  made  up  the  greater  part  of  the  religious  appear- 
 ances in  many  places. 
 
 "  'J'ue^e  things  I  saw  with  great  clearness,  when  I  was  thought  to  be  dying,  and 
 God  gave  me  great  concern  for  his  church  and  interest  in  the  world  at  this  time  : 
 Xot  fco  much  because  the  late  remarkable  influence  upon  the  minds  of  the  people 
 was  ab;ited,  and  almost  wholly  gone,  as  because  the  false  religion,  the  heats  of  ima- 
 gination, and  wild  and  selfish  commotions  of  the  animal  affections,  which  attended 
 Tlie  work  of  grace,  had  prevailed  so  i'ar.  This  was  that  which  my  mind  dwelt  upon 
 almost  day  and  nijcht :  And  this  to  mo  was  the  darkest  appearance  respecting  religion 
 m  the  land.  For  it  was  this  chiolly  that  had  prejudiced  the  world  against  inward 
 religion.  Th's  I  saw  was  the  great  misery  of  all,  that  so  few  saw  any  manner  of 
 difltTr  lice  between  tlio-e  exercises  which  are  spiritual  and  holy,  and  those  which 
 have  tea-love  only  fur  tho^r  beginning,  centre,  and  end." 
 
EDWARDS'  SERMON  AT  BRAINERD'S  FUNERAL.     490 
 
 the  indulgence  of  ease  and  sloth.  His  life  of  labour  and  self-de- 
 nial, the  sacrifices  which  he  made,  and  the  readiness  and  constan- 
 cy with  which  he  spent  his  strength  and  snb&iance  to  promote  the 
 glory  of  his  Redeemer,  are  probably  without  a  parallel  in  this  age 
 in  these  parts  of  the  world.  Much  of  ihis  may  be  perceived  by  . 
 any  one  who  reads  his  printed  Journal ;  but  much  more  has  been 
 learned  by  long  and  intimate  acquaintance  with  him,  and  l)y  look- 
 ing into  his  Diary  since  his  death,  which  he  purposely  concealed 
 in  what  he  published. 
 
 As  his  desires  and  labours  for  the  advancement  of  Christ's  king- 
 dom were  great,  so  was  his  success.  God  was  pleased  to  make 
 Jiim  the  instrument  of  bringing  to  pass  the  most  remarkable  alter- 
 ation among  the  poor  savages,  in  enlightening,  awakening,  re- 
 forming and  changing  their  disposition  and  manners,  and  wonder- 
 fully transforming  them,  of  which  perhaps  any  instance  can  be 
 produced  in  these  latter  ages  of  the  world.  An  account  of  this 
 has  been  given  the  pubh'c  in  his  Journal,  drawn  up  by  order  of  the 
 Honourable  Society  in  Scotland,  which  etnployed  him.  This  I 
 would  recommend  to  the  perusal  of  all  who  take  pleasure  in  the 
 wonderful  works  of  God's  grace,  and  who  wish  to  read  that  which 
 will  peculiarly  tend  both  to  entertain  and  profit  a  christian  mind. 
 
 Not  less  extraordinary  were  hi.^  constant  calmness,  peace,  as- 
 surance and  joy  in  God,  during  the  long  time  he  looked  death  in 
 the  face,  without  the  least  hope  of  recovery  ;  continuing  without 
 interruption  to  the  last ;  while  his  distemper  very  sensibly  preyed 
 upon  his  vitals,  from  day  to  day,  and  often  brought  him  to  that 
 state  in  which  he  looked  upon  himself,  and  was  thought  by  others, 
 to  be  dying.  The  thoughts  of  approaching  death  never  seemed 
 in  the  least  to  damp  him,  but  rather  to  encourage  him,  and  exhili- 
 rate  his  mind.  The  nearer  death  approached,  the  more  desirous  he 
 seemed  to  be  to  die.  He  said,  not  long  before  his  death,  that  "the 
 consideration  of  the  day  of  death,  and  the  day  of  judgment,  had  a 
 long  time  been  peculiarly  sweet  to  him."  At  another  time  he  ob- 
 served, that  he  could  not  but  think  of  the  propriety  there  was  in 
 throwing  such  a  rotten  carcase  as  his  into  the  grave  :  It  seemed  to 
 him  to  be  the  right  way  of  disposing  of  it."  He  often  used  the 
 epithet  glorious^  when  speaking  of  the  day  of  his  death,  calling 
 it  that  glorious  day.  On  Sabbath  morning,  Sept.  27,  feeling  an 
 unusually  violent  appetite  for  food,  and  looking  on  it  as  a  sign 
 of  approaching  death;  he  said  "he  should  look  on  it  as  a  favour, 
 if  this  might  be  his  dying  day,  and  that  he  longed  for  the  time." 
 He  had  before  expressed  himself  desirous  of  seeing  his  brother 
 again,  whose  return  had  been  expected  from  New-Jersey  ;  buf 
 then,  [speaking  of  him]  he  said,  "  I  am    willing  to  go,  and  never 
 
•500     EDWARDS'  SERMON  AT  BRAINERD'S  FUNERAL. 
 
 see  him  again:  I  care  not  what  I  part  with,  to  be  forever  with  the 
 Lord."  Oeing  asked  that  morning,  how  he  did  .^  he  answered, 
 "I  am  almost  in  eternity;  God  knows,  I  long  to  be  there.  My 
 work  is  done:  I  have  done  with  all  my  friends:  All  the  world  is 
 nothing  to  me."  On  the  evening  of  the  next  day,  when  he  thought 
 himself  dying,  and  was  apprehended  to  be  so  by  others,  and  he 
 could  utler  himself  only  by  broken  whispers,  he  often  repeated 
 the  word  Eternity;  and  said,  "I  shall  soon  be  with  the  holy  an- 
 gels." "Jesus  will  come,  he  will  not  tarry."  He  told  me  one 
 night,  as  he  went  to  bed,  that  "he  expected  to  die  that  night;"  and 
 added  "  I  am  not  at  all  afraid,  I  am  w^illing  to  go  this  night,  if  it  be 
 the  will  of  God.  Death  is  what  I  long  for."  He  sometimes  ex- 
 pressed himself  as  "having  nothing  to  do  but  to  die  :  and  being 
 wilhng  to  go  that  minute,  if  it  was  the  will  of  God."  He  some- 
 times used  that  expi'ession,  "O  why  is  his  chariot  so  long  in  com- 
 ing!" 
 
 He  seemed  to  have  remarkable  exercises  of  resignation  to  the 
 will  of  God.  He  once  told  me  that  "  he  had  longed  for  the  out- 
 pouring of  the  Holy  Spirit  of  God,  and  the  glorious  times  of  the 
 church,  and  hoped  they  were  coming:  and  should  have  been  wil- 
 ling to  have  lived  to  promote  religion  at  that  time,  if  that  had  been 
 the  will  of  God."  *'  But,"  said  he,  "  I  am  willing  it  should  be  as 
 it  is  :  I  would  not  have  the  choice  to  make  for  myself  for  ten  thou- 
 sand worlds.*" 
 
 He  several  times  spoke  of  the  different  kinds  of  willingness  to 
 die  :  and  mentioned  it  as  an  ignoble,  mean  kind  of  willingness  to 
 die,  to  be  loiliing  only  to  get  rid  of  pain  ;  or  to  go  to  heaven  only  to 
 get  honour  and  advancement  there.  His  own  longings  for  death 
 seemed  to  be  quite  of  a  different  kind,  and  for  nobler  ends.  When 
 he  was  first  taken  with  one  of  the  last  and  most  fatal  symptoms  in 
 a  consumption,  he  said,  "  O  now  the  glorious  time  is  coming  !  I 
 have  longed  to  serve  God  perfectly  ;  and  God  will  gratify  these 
 desires."  At  one  time  and  another,  in  the  latter  part  of  his  illness, 
 he  'jttcred  these  expressions.  ''  Myheaven  is,  to  please  God,  to  glo- 
 rifv  him,  to  tdve  all  to  him,  and  to  be  wholly  devoted  to  his  glory  : 
 That  is  the  heaven  I  long  for;  that  is  my  religion  ;  that  is  my  happi- 
 ness ;  and  always  v/as,  ever  since  1  supposed  I  had  any  true  reli- 
 gion. All  those  who  are  of  that  religion,  shall  meet  me  in  heav- 
 en."— "  I  do  not  go  to   heaven  to  be  advanced  ;  but  to  give  hon- 
 
 *  He  writes  thus  in  his  Diary  :  .'?;'iT.  23,  1747.  "Im  the  week  past,  I  had  di- 
 vers turns  of  inward  refreshing.  Though  my  boJy  was  inexpressibly  weak,  follow- 
 eJ  continually  with  agues  and  fevers,  sometimes  my  soul  centered  in  God  as  my  on- 
 ly portion  ;  and  I  felt  that  I  shourJ  be  forever  unhappy  if  he  did  not  reign.  I  saw 
 the  sweetness  and  happiness  of  being  /m  subject  at  tiis  disposal.  This  made  all  my 
 difficulties  quickly  vanish." 
 
EDWARDS'  SERMON  AT  BRAINERD'S  FUNERAL.     501 
 
 our  to  God.  It  is  no  matter  where  I  shall  be  stationed  in  heaven  ; 
 whether  I  have  a  high  or  low  seat  there ;  but  I  go  to  love,  and 
 please,  and  glorify  God.  If  I  had  a  thousand  souls,  if  they  were 
 worth  any  thing,  1  would  give  them  all  to  God:  But  I  have  noth- 
 ing to  give,  when  all  is  done.  It  is  impossible  for  any  rational 
 creature  to  be  happy  without  acting  all  for  God  :  God  himself 
 could  not  make  me  happy  in  any  other  way." — "  1  long  to  be  in 
 heaven,  praising  and  glorifying  God  with  the  holy  angels  ;  all  my 
 desire  is  to  glorify  God." — *'  My  heart  goes  out  to  the  burying- 
 place,  it  seems  to  me  a  desirable  place:  But  O  to  glorify  God! 
 That  is  it !  That  is  above  all !" — "  It  is  a  great  comfort  to  me  to 
 think  that  I  have  done  a  little  for  God  in  the  world  :  It  is  but  a 
 very  small  matter  ;  yet  I  have  done  a  little  ;  and  I  lament  it  that 
 I  have  not  done  more  for  him." — "  There  is  nothing  in  the  world 
 worth  living  for,  but  doing  good,  and  finishing  God's  work  ;  doing 
 the  work  that  Christ  did.  I  see  nothing  else  in  the  world  that  can 
 yield  any  satisfaction,  beside  living  to  God,  pleasing  him,  artd  do- 
 ing his  whole  will.  My  greatest  joy  and  comfort  lias  b' ^.:  i*  do 
 something  for  promoting  the  interest  of  religion,  and  the  souis  of 
 particular  persons.*" 
 
 *  In  his  diary  he  writes  thus  :  '<  Sept.  7,  1747.  When  I  was  in  great  distress  of 
 body,  my  soul  desired  that  God  should  be  glorified.  I  saw  there  was  no  heaven  but 
 this.  I  could  not  but  speak  to  the  by-standers  then  of  the  only  happiness,  viz. 
 pleasing  God.  O  that  I  could  for  ever  live  to  God  !  The  day  I  trust  is  at  hand, 
 the  perfect  day  !     O,  the  day  of  deliverance  from  all  sin?" 
 
 "  Sept.  19.  Near  night,  while  I  attempted  to  walk  a  little,  my  thoughts  turned 
 thus  :  How  infinitely  sweet  it  is  to  love  God,  and  be  all  for  him  !  Upon  which  it 
 was  suggested  to  me,  '  You  are  not  an  angel,  nor  lively  and  active.'  To  which  my 
 whole  soul  immediately  replied,  '  1  as  sincerely  desire  to  love  and  glorify  God  as 
 any  angel  in  heaven.'  Upon  which  it  Avas  suggested  again,  '  But  you  are  filthy 
 not  fit  for  heaven.'  Hereupon  instantly  appeared  the  blessed  robes  of  Christ's 
 righteousness,  in  which  I  could  not  but  exult  and  triumph.  I  viewed  the  infinite 
 excellency  of  God  ;  and  my  soul  even  broke  with  longings,  that  God  should  be  glo- 
 rified. I  thought  of  dignity  in  heaven  :  But  instantly  the  thought  returned,  I  do  not 
 go  to  heaven  to  get  honour,  but  to  give  all  possible  glory  and  praise.  O,  how  I  long- 
 ed that  God  should  be  glorified  on  earth  also  !  O,  I  was  made  for  eternity,  it  God 
 might  be  glorified  !  For  bodily  pains  I  cared  not ;  though  I  was  then  in  extremity, 
 I  never  felt  easier;  I  felt  v/illing  to  glorify  God  in  that  state  of  bodily  distress,  as 
 long  as  he  pleased  I  should  continue  so.  The  grave  appeared  really  sweet,  and  I 
 longed  to  lodge  my  wearv  bones  in  it  :  But  O  !  that  God  might  be  glorified  !  This 
 was  the  burden  of  all  my  cry.  O,  I  knew  I  should  be  active  as  an  angel  in  heaven, 
 and  that  I  should  be  stripped  of  my  filthy  garments  I  So  that  tliere  was  no  objection. 
 But  O,  to  love  and  praise  God  more,  to  please  liim  for  ever  !  This  my  soul  panted 
 after,  and  even  now  pants  for,  while  I  write.  O,  that  God  may  be  glorified  in  the 
 whole  earth  !  Lord,  let  thy  kin-dom  come.  1  longed  for  a  spirit  ol  preaching  to 
 descend  and  rest  on  ministers  that  they  might  addre^^s  the  consciences  of  men  with 
 closeness  and  power.  I  saw  God  had  the  residue  ot  the  Spirit  ;  and  my  soul  long- 
 ed it  should  be  poured  out  from  on  higli.  I  could  not  but  plead  with  God  for  my 
 dear  congregation,  that  he  would  preserve-  it,  and  not  suffer  his  great  name  to  lose 
 its  glory  in  that  work  ;  my  soul  still  longing,  that  God  might  be  glorified.  ' 
 
502     EDWARDS'  SERMON  AT  BRAINERD'S  FUNERAL, 
 
 After  he  came  to  be  in  so  low  a  state,  that  he  ceased  to  have 
 the  least  expectation  of  recovery,  his  mind  was  peculiarly  carried 
 forth  with  earnest  concern  for  the  prosperity  of  the  church  of 
 God  on  earth  ;  This  seemed  very  manifestly  to  arise  from  a 
 pure  disinterested  love  to  Christ,  and  a  desire  of  his  glory.  The 
 prosperity  of  Zion,  was  a  theme  on  which  he  dwelt  much,  and  of 
 which  he  spake  much  ;  and  more  and  more,  tl>e  nearer  death  ap- 
 proached. He  told  me  when  near  his  end,  that  "  he  never,  in  all 
 his  life,  had  his  mind  so  led  forth  in  desires  and  earnest  prayers 
 for  the  flourishing  of  Christ's  kingdom  on  the  earth,  as  since  he 
 was  brought  so  exceedingly  low  at  Boston."  He  seemed  much 
 to  wonder,  that  there  appeared  no  more  of  a  disposition  in  min- 
 isters and  people,  to  pray  for  the  flourishing  of  religion  through 
 the  world.  Pariicularly,  he  several  times  expressed  his  wonder 
 that  there  appeared  no  more  forwardness  to  comply  v/ith  the 
 proposal  lately  made  from  Scotland,  for  united  extraordinary 
 prayer  among  God's  people,  and  for  the  coming  of  Christ's  king- 
 dom ;  and  sent  it  as  his  djing  advice  to  his  own  congregation,  that 
 they  should  practice  agreeably  to  that  proposal. 
 
 But  a  little  before  his  death,  he  said  to  me,  as  I  came  into  the 
 room,  '*  My  thoughts  have  been  employed  on  the  old  dear  theme, 
 the  prosperity  of  God's  church  on  earth.  As  I  waked  out  of 
 sleep,  I  was  led  to  cry  for  the  pouring  out  of  God's  Spirit,  and  the 
 advancement  of  Christ's  kingdom,  for  which  the  dear  Redeemer 
 did  and  suffered  so  much.  It  is  that,  especially,  which  makes  me 
 long  for  it." 
 
 But  a  few  days  before  his  death,  he  desired  us  to  sing  a  psalm, 
 which  related  to  the  prosperity  of  Zion  ;  which  he  signified  enga- 
 ged his  thoughts  and  desires  above  all  things.  At  his  desire  we 
 sung  part  of  the  102d  psalm.  When  we  had  done,  though  he 
 was  then  so  low  that  he  could  scarcely  speak  ;  he  so  exerted 
 himself,  that  he  made  a  prayer,  very  audibly,  in  which,  beside 
 praying  for  those  present,  and  for  his  own  congregation,  he  ear- 
 nestly prayed  for  the  reviving  and  flourishing  of  religion  in  the 
 world. 
 
 His  own  congregation  especially,  lay  much  on  his  heart.  He 
 often  spoke  of  them  ;  and  commonly  when  he  did  so,  it  was  with 
 peculiar  tenderness  ;  so  that  his  speech  was  interrupted  and 
 drowned  with  weeping. 
 
 Thus  I  have  endeavoured  to  represent  something  of  the  char- 
 acter and  behaviour  of  that  excellent  servant  of  Christ,  whose  fu- 
 neral is  now  to  be  attended. — Tiiough  1  have  done  it  very  imper- 
 fectly ;  yet  I  have  endeavoured  to  do  it  faithfully,  and  as  in  the 
 presence  and  fear  of  God,  without  flattery  ;  which  surely  is  to  be 
 abhorred  in  ministers  of  the  gospel,  when  speaking  "  as  messen- 
 ger^ of  the  Loid  of  hosts." 
 
EDWARDS'  SERMON  AT  BRAINERD'S  FUNERAL.     50:^ 
 
 Such  reason  have  we  to  be  satisfied  that  the  person,  of  whom  F 
 have  been  speaking,now  he  is  "  absent  from  the^body,"  is  "  present 
 with  the  Lord  ;"  not  only  so,  but  also,  with  him,  now  wears^  a. 
 crown  of  glory,  of  distinguished  brightness. 
 
 How  much  is  there  in  the  consideration  of  such  an  example, 
 and  so  blessed  an  end,  to  excite  us,  who  are  yet  alive,  with  liie 
 greatest  diligence  and  earnestness,  to  improve  the  time  of  life,  that 
 we  also  may  go  to  be  with  Christ,  when  we  forsake  the  body  ? 
 The  time  is  coming,  and  will  soon  come,  we  know  not  how  soon, 
 when  we  must  eternally  take  leave  of  all  things  here  below,  to  en- 
 ter on  a  fixed  unalterable  state  in  the  eternal  world.  O,  how  well 
 it  is  worth  the  while  to  labour  and  suffer,  and  deny  ourselves,  to 
 lay  up  in  store  a  good  foundation  of  support  and  supply,  against 
 that  time  !  How  much  is  such  a  peace  as  we  have  heard  of, 
 worth  at  such  a  time  f  How  dismal  would  it  be,  to  be  in  such 
 circumstances,  under  the  outward  distresses  of  a  consuming,  dis- 
 solving frame,  and  looking  death  in  the  face  from  day  to  day,  with 
 hearts  uncleansed,  and  sin  unpardoned,  under  a  dreadful  load  of 
 guilt  and  divine  wrath,  having  much  sorrow  and  wrath  in  our  sick- 
 ness, and  nothing  to  comfort  and  support  Oiir  minds,  nothing  be- 
 fore us  but  a  speedy  appearance  before  the  judgment-seat  of  an 
 almighty,  infinitely  holy,  and  angry  God,  and  an  endless  eternity 
 in  suffering  his  wrath  without  pity  or  mercy  !  The  person  of 
 whom  we  have  been  speaking,  had  a  great  sense  of  this.  He 
 said,  not  long  before  his  death,  "  It  is  sweet  to  me  to  i.hink  of 
 eternity  :  The  endlessness  of  it  makes  it  sweet.  But,  Oh,  what 
 shall  I  say  to  the  eternity  of  the  wicked! — I  cannot  mention  it, 
 nor  think  of  it ! — The  thought  is  too  dreadful  !"  At  another 
 time,  speaking  of  an  heart  devoted  to  God  and  his  glory,  he  said, 
 '*  O,  of  what  importance  is  it,  to  have  such  a  frame  of  mind,  such 
 an  heart  as  this,  when  we  come  to  die!  It  is  this  now  that  gives 
 me  peace.'* 
 
 How  much  is  there,  in  particular,  in  the  things  which  have  been 
 observed  of  this  eminent  minister  of  Christ,  to  excite  us,  who  are 
 called  to  the  same  great  work  of  the  gospel-ministry,  to  earnest 
 care  and  endeavours,  that  we  may  be  in  like  manner  faithful  in 
 our  work  ;  that  we  may  be  filled  with  the  same  spirit,  animated 
 with  the  same  pure  and  fervent  flame  of  love  to  God,  and  the 
 same  earnest  concern  to  advance  the  kingdom  and  glory  of  our 
 Lord  and  Master,  and  the  prosperity  of  Zion  ?  How  lovely  did 
 these   principles  render  him   in   his  life  ;  and  how  blessed  in  his 
 
 end  i? The  time  will  soon  come,  when  we    also,   must  leave  our 
 
 earthly  tabernacles,  and  go  to  our  Lord,  who  sent  us  to  labour  in 
 his  harvest,  to  render  an  account  of  ourselves   to  him.     O  how 
 
504     EDWARDS'  SERMON  AT  BRAINERD'S  FUNERAL. 
 
 does  it  concern  us  so  to  run  as  not  uncertainly  ;  so  to  fight,  not  as 
 those  that  beat  the  air  ?  Should  not  what  we  have  heard  excite 
 lis  to  a  careful  dependence  on  God  for  his  help  and  assistance  in 
 our  great  work,  and  to  be  much  in  seeking  the  influences  of  his 
 Spirit,  and  success  in  our  labours,  by  fasting  and  prayer  ;  in  which 
 the  person  of  whom  I  have  been  speaking  abounded  ?  This 
 practice  he  earnestly  recommended  on  his  deathbed,  from  his  own 
 experience  of  its  great  benefits  to  some  candidates  for  the  minis- 
 try who  stood  by  his  bedside.  He  was  often  speaking  of  the  great 
 need  which  ministers  have  of  much  of  the  Spirit  of  Christ  in  their 
 work,  and  how  little  good  they  are  like  to  do  without  it  ;  and 
 how  "  when  ministers  were  under  the  special  influences  of  the 
 Spirit  of  God,  it  assisted  them  to  come  at  the  consciences  of  men, 
 and,  as  he  expressed  it,  to  handle  them  w^ith /i«?if/5 :  whereas, 
 without  the  Spirit  of  God,  said  he,  whatever  reason  and  oratory 
 we  employ,  we  do  but  make  use  o(  stumps,  instead  of  hands." 
 
 Oh  that  the  things  which  were  seen  and  heard  in  this  extraor- 
 dinary person  ;  his  holiness,  heavenliness,  labour  and  self-denial  in 
 life  ;  his  so  remarkably  devoting  himself  and  his  all,  in  heart  and 
 practice,  to  the  glory  of  God;  and  the  wonderful  frame  of  mind 
 manifested,  in  so  stedfast  a  manner,  under  the  expectation  of 
 death,  and  under  the  pains  and  agonies,  which  brought  it  on  ;  may 
 excite  in  us  all,  both  ministers  and  people,  a  due  sense  of  the 
 greatness  of  the  work  which  we  have  to  do  in  the  world,  of  the 
 excellency  and  amiableness  of  thorough  religion  in  experience  and 
 practice,  of  the  blessedness  of  the  end  of  those  whose  death  fin- 
 ishes such  a  life,  and  of  the  infinite  value  of  their  eternal  reward, 
 when  "  absent  from  the  body  and  present  with  the  Lord  ;"  and 
 effectually  stir  us  up  to  constant  and  effectual  endeavours  that,  in 
 the  way  of  such  an  holy  life,  we  may  at  last  come  to  so  blessed 
 an  end!     Amen. 
 
CONTENTS. 
 
 Page. 
 
 Advertisement  by  the  Editor  -         -         -       '  -         -         -         3 
 
 Pemberton's  Sermon ^^ 
 
 Preface  _.--------^ 
 
 CHAPTER  I. 
 
 From  his  birth  to  the  time  when   he  began  to  study  for  the  min- 
 
 .  -  -      ■        -  36 
 
 istry 
 
 CHAPTER  U. 
 
 From  about  the  time  when  he  began  the  study  of  Theology  to  his 
 Licensure 
 
 CHAPTER  Ul. 
 
 From  his  Licensure,  till  his  examination  and  Commission  as  a  Mi- 
 
 70 
 sionarv  '  '  ' 
 
 CHAPTER  IV. 
 
 From  the  time  of  his  examination  and  Commission  as  a  Mi.^Mon:.- 
 ry,  to  his  entrance  on  his  Mission  among  the  Indians  at  kaunau- 
 
 meek  -         -         "         "         " 
 
 C4 
 
606  CONTENTS. 
 
 Page. 
 CHAPTER  V. 
 
 From  the  commencement  of  his  labours  at  Kaunaumeek  to  his  or- 
 dination ---------  95 
 
 CHAPTER  VI. 
 
 From  his  Ordination  to  the  commencement  of  his  labours  atCross- 
 weeksung  ---------     149 
 
 CHAPTER  VII. 
 
 From  the  commencement  of  his  residence  at  Crossweeksung,  to 
 the  close  o,f  the  first  part  of  his  Journal  -  -  -       203 
 
 CHAPTER  VIII. 
 
 From  the  close  of  the  first  part  of  his  "  Journal,"  Nov.  5,  1745, 
 to  the  19th  of  June,  1746  ;  when  the  second  part  of  his  Journal 
 terminated.  This,  and  the  preceding  chapter,  occupy  one 
 year — the  most  interesting  year  of  Brainerd's  Life  -  254 
 
 CHAPTER  IX. 
 
 General  Remarks  on  the  preceding  Narrative  of  a  work  of  grace 
 at  Crossweeksung.  I.  On  the  Doctrines  preached  to  the  In- 
 dians.    II.    On  the  Moral  Effects  of  preaching  Christ  crucified. 
 
 III.  On  the  Continuance,  Renewal  and  Quickness  of  the  Work. 
 
 IV.  On  the  little  appearance  of  False  Religion  -  -      321 
 
CONTENTS.  507 
 
 Page. 
 CHAPTER  X. 
 
 Creneral  Remarks  on  the  Work  of  Grace  at  Crossweeksung  con- 
 tinued— Introduction Method  of  Learning  the  Indian  Lan- 
 guage— Method  of  Instructing  the  Indians — Difficulties  in  the 
 way  in  converting  them  to  Christianity — Attest:>iions  of  neigh- 
 bouring Ministers,  Eiders,  and  Deacons  to  the  display  of  Divine 
 grace  at  Crossweeksung  -         -         -         -         -         -  3S.'> 
 
 CHAPTER  XI. 
 From  the  close  of  his  Journal,  June  19,  1746,  to  the  termination 
 
 of  his  Missionary  Labours,  March  20,  1747 
 
 36' 
 
 CHAPTER  XII. 
 From  the  termination  of  his  Missionary  Labours  to  his  Death  301 
 
 CHAPTER  XIII. 
 
 Reflections  on  the  preceding  Memoirs         .         .         .         -  432 
 
 Funeral  Sermon  -  -  -  -  -  -         -  -       473