W 
 
 'WW 
 

AN ACCOUNT OF THE 
 
 L I F E 
 
 OF THE REVEREND 
 
 DAVID BRAINERD, 
 
 Minister of the gospel ; missionary to the Indians from ths 
 
 honourable SOCIETY, in SCOTLAND, for the PROPAGATION 
 
 of CHRISTIAN KNOWLEDGE ; and PASTOR of a CHURCH 
 
 of CHRISTIAN INDIANS in NEW-JERSEY. 
 
 Who died at Northampton, in New-England, 
 Oftober 9th, 1747, in the 30th year of his age. 
 
 Chiefly taken from his own DIARY, and other PRIVATE 
 
 WRITINGS, WRITTEN FOR HIS OWN USE. 
 
 By JONATHAN 'EDWARDS, A.M. 
 
 late PRESIDENT of the COLLEGE in NEW-JERSEY. 
 TO WHICH ARE ADDED 
 
 EXTRACTS from Mr. Br ainerd's JOURNAL, 
 
 COMFRISING THE MOST MATERIAL THINGS IN THAT PUBLICATION. 
 
 PRINTED at W RC EST E P, MASSACKUSETT S, 
 
 By LEONARD WORCESTER, 
 
 MSCCXCII I, 
 

 
 The E D I T O R's 
 
 PREFACE, 
 
 IT is acknowledged on ail hands that one 
 pre t hod of conveying religious and moral injlrutlion is 
 by example. This is a -medium of dijfeminating truth, 
 and extending the influence of virtue, which is accom- 
 modated to every capacity , and adaptedin a peculiar man- 
 ner to meet the feelings of mankind. Examples, drawn 
 jnfttyi exhibit the deformity of vice, and the beauty of 
 virtue ; not with the languor of mere f peculation, but 
 with the energy of fir iking faff, in which the legiti- 
 mate effetl offentiment isfeen. The example furnifhed 
 in the following pages is that offlriB and almojl unva- 
 rying piety. The chrijlian life of Mr. Brainerd, 
 though /hort, was lovely. It was fueh as has Jirik- 
 ingly adorned the doctrine of God our Saviour, and- % 
 as delineated in this volume, prefenis the mofl falutary 
 infrucdion to all defcriptions of men. It is removed 
 from ojlent 'atious feeming zeal on the one hand, and a 
 Jl upid inaBion on the other ; from enthufiafnu and form- 
 ality. Here we may fe the leading fentiments of the 
 gofpel. having their genuine influence on the, he art, and 
 
 A ^ reduced 
 
4 The EDITOR'S 
 
 reduced to a uniform practice ; the real fpirit ofchrijli* 
 anity,Jlripped of all difguife, and forming an obvious 
 contraft to the barren indevout lives of thoufands of 
 profeffors. Mr. Brainerdwas achriflian, not in name 
 only ; but in reality, in life, in the progreffive ardour of 
 true godlinefs. His religion was fupernatural, and ex- 
 perimental ; founded in holy love, conflituting a bond 
 of union to God, embracing all the interefls of his gov- 
 ernment, and rcfembling his pure nature. It was not 
 the mere decency of a reformed life, the popular goodnefs 
 of the prefent day. It reached the heart, and formed the 
 character of the whole man. It did not con/ifl in a be- 
 ing prof cly ted to one party or the other } but in a cor- 
 dial, unconditional, p erf ever ing devotednefs to God 
 through the grace which is by Jefus Chrift. Since 
 injlances of equal piety are rare, efpecially at the pref- 
 ent day, it is happy for the caufe of religion that fuch a 
 life has been prefervedfrom oblivion , and that, through 
 the medium of the prefs, it may be fp read abroad, as an 
 object ofrefrefhing contemplation to God's people, and 
 as afource ofrefiraint and conviction to fmners. The 
 Life of Mr. Brainerd, prefentedto the pub lick by Pref- 
 ldent Edwards, of which the following, excepting fome 
 few retrenchments, is an exact copy, has always been 
 read with pleafure and improvement by the friends of 
 pure chriflianity. And the editor cannot but flatter 
 himfelf, that, under the bleffing of God, the prefent edi- 
 tion may have its utility, in the fecu,rily of the fame 
 great objects, the conviction cffinners, and the edifica- 
 tion and confolation of/owe, at leafi, of the children of 
 
 Zion 
 
PREFACE. 5 
 
 Zion. The authenticity of what is exhibited in the 
 Life and 'Journal of Mr. Brainerd, can admit of no 
 doubt ; fince the former was publifloed by a gentleman 
 whofe reputation for learning, integrity, and umverjal 
 piety, is cftablifhed even beyond the cavils of impie- 
 ty itfelf and was compiled by him chiefly from Mr. 
 Brainerdys own Diary ; and fince the latter was writ* 
 ten by Mr. Brainerdys own hand, was attejled by fever- 
 al reputable minijlers of the gofpel, and was publijhed 
 under thefanclion and patronage of the Society for prop- 
 agating Chriflian Knowledge in Scotland. With re- 
 fpefi to the retrenchments which have been made, the 
 editor has exsreifed his bejl judg?nent. Nothing, infacl, 
 has been fup preffed which was of importance to an im- 
 partial difplay of Mr. Brainerd y s character ; nothing 
 but what had either been repeatedly faid before, or was 
 local, or referred to circumflances in which the reader 
 cannot be interejled. The objeB of the retrenchments . 
 was merely to exclude what was fuperfluous, without 
 concealing a Jingle trait of characler, or a Jingle fenti- 
 mint "; to reduce, infjort, all that was confid.erably 
 valuable within a fmaller compafs. Whatever opinion 
 the critical reader may have of this alteration ; wheth- 
 er he may think it an amendment or dijfervice, the edi- 
 tor is confident, that the volume, as it is nowprefented, 
 will be deemed by all the friends of experimental religion 
 j.is a valuable pojfefjion. If we have a tafle for moral 
 beauty, if we love what conjiitutes the glory of God him- 
 fclf, we Jhall find j'atisf action in pcrujing the Jbl lowing 
 pages. May wefindfpiritual improvement alfo. May 
 
 A 3 we 
 
6 The EDITOR'S 
 
 we be prompted, in imitation of this eminent fervent of 
 God, to gird up the loins of cur minds, to make an habit- 
 ual confecration of ourf elves to the will and fervice of 
 God, and like him find, in our own progreffive experi- 
 ence, that the ways of wifdom are ways of pleafant- 
 nefs, and that all her paths are peace. The ferious 
 reader will unavoidably make an efiimate of his own 
 fpiritualftate, in a comparifon with what Mr, Brainerd 
 appears to have experienced, and the manner in which 
 he lived. The trial will be fever e ; but if made judi- 
 cioufiy it can have no ill effect. As, however, jome of 
 Gad y s people, who are rather prone to view things on 
 the dark fide, may be in danger of mi [calculating, it can- 
 not be improper to obferve, that a man may be a real 
 chriflian, though he be not ofthefiature of Mr. Brai- 
 nerd. His life is not exhibited to the pub lick view as a 
 Jlandard, to the complete meafure of which every one 
 inujl come or not befaved. It is believed that the /pi r- 
 it of vital chriflianity is in its nature every where the 
 fame, and that, in the general, the fame things in kind 
 mufi be experienced, the fame affections exercifed, and 
 the fame holy converfation maintained : But of true 
 chriflians there are undoubtedly fame of a larger, and 
 fome of afmallcr growth . If we have the di/linguijhing 
 evidences ofaflate of grace, though not with the fame in- 
 dubitable clearnefs with which Mr. Brainerd jeans to 
 have been favoured, we are allowed to entertain hope to- 
 wards God,andfyoulddo wrong to rejed- the conflations 
 which infinite mercy may prefent us. Theft rong oug hi 
 to bear the infirmities of the weak ; and the weak, in- 
 
 fiead 
 
PREFACE. 4 
 
 Jlead of Jinking into a dejefled unprofitable defpondency, 
 ought to prefs forward to perfection. 
 
 It is manifejl that Mr Brainerd was, from his con- 
 Jlitutional habit, inclined to melancholy. His bodily 
 health was generally low. And the peculiar circum- 
 Jfances into which he was thrown in the profecution of 
 his pub lick duty, confpi red with his natural infirmities 
 to plwige him often into extreme dejeclion. This de- 
 jeclion the carelefs reader may impute to his particular 
 ^views of chriflianity . But they ought not to be con- 
 founded. This dejeclion formed no part of his religion. 
 It was merely animal. His religion, in fact, was his 
 only relief from his deprefiions. That the reader may 
 be exempted from that unhappy portion of his experience 
 and enjoy the infinitely precious part, the divine confo- 
 lations with which he was favoured, is the fervent 
 prayer of his friend andfervant in 'Jefus Chrift, 
 
 SAMUEL AUSTIN, 
 Worcester, May 29th, 1793. 
 
 A 4 ADVERTISEMENT. 
 
>*~»<&to®<zz0>©it<$>+<- 
 
 ADVERTISEMENT. 
 
 TN the fubfcriptlon papers the publick had a partial encouragement 
 that fhoulcl the fubferibers be numerous, there would be a diminu-* 
 tion of the price. The expectations of the Editor are not fully anfwer-. 
 ed in this refped. But had they been anfwered, the addition of more 
 than fifty pages to the number mentioned in the conditions will be con- 
 fidered as an ample equivalent to fuch a benefit, and be a fecurity frora, 
 all pofiiblc imputation. 
 
OF THE REVEREND 
 
 DAVID BRAINERD. 
 
 PART I. 
 
 From his Birth, to the time when he began to devote 
 h wife If to the Study ^/"Divinity, in order to his 
 being fitted for the Work of the Ministry. 
 
 [\ yfR. David Brainerd was born April 20, 1718, 
 1VJL at Haddam, a town belonging to the county 
 ofMiddlefex, in the (late of Connecticut, New-En- 
 gland. His father, who died when this his fon was 
 about nine years of age, was the Worfhipful Hezeki- 
 ah Brainerd, Efq; anafiiftant, or one of his Majefly's 
 Council for the then colony, and the fon of Daniel 
 IBrainerd, Efq; a juflice of the peace, and a deacon 
 of the church of Chrift in Haddam. His mother 
 was Mrs. Dorothy Hobart, daughter to the Rev. 
 Mr. Jeremiah Hobart, who preached a while at 
 Topsneld, and then removed to Hempftead on 
 Long-Ifland, and afterwards removed from Hemp- 
 ftead (by reafon of numbers turning Quakers, and 
 many others being fo irreligious, that they would do 
 nothing towards the fupport of the ministry) and 
 came and fettled in the work of the miniftry at Had- 
 dam : Where he died in the 85th year of his age : 
 Of whom it is remarkable, that he went to the pub- 
 lick 
 
*° The L I F E of 
 
 lick worftiip in the forenoon, and died in his chair 
 between meetings. And this Rev. gentleman was 
 fon of the Rev. Mr. Peter Hobart* .who was firft 
 minifter of the gofpel at Hingham, mi-the county of 
 Norfolk in England, and by reafon of. the perfecu- 
 don of the puritans, removed with -{&$ family to 
 New-England, and was fettled in the miniftry at Hing- 
 ham, in MafTachufetts. The mother of Mrs. Dorothy 
 Hobart (who was afterwards Brainerd ) was daughter 
 to the Rev. Mr. Samuel Whiting, minifter of the 
 gofpel, firft at Bofton in Lincoln (hi re, and afterwards 
 at Lynn in Maffachufetts, New-England : He had 
 three fons that were minifters of the gofpel. 
 
 Mr. David Brainerd was the third Ion of his pa- 
 rents. They had five fons and four daughters. 
 Their eldeft ion was Hezekiah Brainerd, Elq; a juf- 
 tice of the peace, and for feveral years a repref* 
 tive of the town of Haddam, in the Genu. ! feme 
 bly of Connecticut. The fecOnd was the Re* Wfol 
 Nehemiah Brainerd, a worthy minifter at Jiaitbury 
 in Connecticut, who died of a confumption, Novem- 
 ber io, 1742. The fourth was Mr. John Brainerd, 
 who fuceeeded his brother David, as miffionary 
 to the Indians, and paftor of the fame church of 
 chriftian Indians in New-Jerfey : And the fifth was 
 Ifrael, ftudent at Yale-College in New-Haven, who 
 died foon after his brother David. Mrs. Dorothy 
 Brainerd having lived' feveral years a widow, died 
 when her fon, (whofe life I am about to give an ac- 
 count of,) was about fourteen years of age : So that 
 in his youth he was left both fatherlefs and mother-' 
 lefs. What account he has given of himfelf, and 
 his own life, maybe feen in what follows.] 
 
 I WAS, I think, from my youth, fomethmgfoher, 
 and inclined rather to melancholy, than the contrary 
 extreme ; but do not remember any thing of convic- 
 tion- of fin, worthy of remark, until I was, I believe, 
 
 about 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. n 
 
 about feven or eight years of age ; when I became 
 fomething concerned for my foul, and terrified at 
 the thoughts ot death, and was driven to the per- 
 formance of duties*. But it appeared a melancholy 
 bufineis, and deilroyed my eagernefs for play. And 
 alas ! this religious concern was but ihortlived. 
 However, l fometimes attended fecret prayer ; and 
 thus lived at eafe in Zion, without God in the world, 
 and without much concern, as 1 remember, until I 
 was above thirteen years of age. But fome time 
 in the winter, 17321, 1 was fomethingroufed out of car- 
 nal fecurity, by 1 fcarce knew what means at firft ; 
 but was much excited by the prevailing of a mortal 
 ficknels in Haddam, 1 was frequent, coniiant, and 
 fomething fervent in duties, and took delight in read- 
 ing, efpecially Mr. Janeway's Token for Children; I 
 felt fometimes much melted in duties, and took 
 great delight in the performance of them : And I 
 fometimes hoped that I was converted, or at lead: in. 
 a good and hopeful way for heaven and happinefs, 
 not knowing what converfion was. The Spirit of 
 God at this time proceeded far with me ; 1 was re- 
 markably dead to the world, and my thoughts were 
 almoft, wholly employed about my foul's concerns ; 
 and I may indeed fay, almoft 1 was perfuaded to be a 
 chrijlian. Iwasalfo exceedingly diilrelTed and mel- 
 ancholy at the death of my mother, in March, 1732. 
 But afterwards my religious concern began to de- 
 cline, and I by degrees fell back into a coniiderable 
 degree of fecurity ; though 1 ftill attended fecret 
 prayer frequently. 
 
 About the 15th of April, 1733, I removed from 
 my father's houfe to Eaft-Haddam, where I fpent 
 four years, but ftill without God in the world ; though 
 
 for 
 
 *The reader will find from the general current of Mr. Frainerd's writings, that fay 
 the term duty, he cloth not mean any real, genuine compliance with the law 01 g<>f- 
 pel. but certain external performances, the refalt pi conviction and concern only, and 
 emirely compatible with rcigoinj enmity of keari to God. 
 
12 The LIFE of 
 
 for the moft part I went a round of fecret duty. I 
 was not exceedingly addicted to young company, or 
 frolicking (as it is called.) But this I know, that 
 when I did go into company, I never returned from 
 a frolick in my life, with fo good a confcience as I 
 went with : It always added new guilt to me, and 
 made me afraid to come to the throne of grace, and 
 fpoiled thofe good frames, I was wont fometimes to 
 pleafe myfelf with. But alas ! all my good frames 
 were but fel frighteoufnefs, not bottomed on a defire 
 for the glory of God. 
 
 About the latter end of April, 1737, being full 
 nineteen years of age, I removed to Durham, and 
 began to work on my farm, and fo continued the 
 year out, or near, until I was twenty years old, fre- 
 quently longing, from a natural inclination, after a 
 liberal education. When I was about twenty years 
 of age, I applied myfelf to fludy ; and fome time be- 
 fore, was more than ordinarily excited to and in du- 
 ty : But now engaged more than ever in the duties 
 of religion. I became very ftricl:, and watchful over 
 my thoughts, words, and actions ; and thought 1 
 mull: be fober indeed, becaufe I defigned to devote 
 myfelf to the miniftry ; and imagined I did dedicate 
 myfelf to the Lord. 
 
 Some time in April, 1738, I went to Mr. Fifke's, 
 and lived with hirn, during his life*. And I remem- 
 ber, he advifedme wholly to abandon young compa- 
 ny, and affociate myfelf with grave elderly people : 
 Which counfel I followed ; and my manner of life 
 was now exceeding regular, and full of religion, fuch 
 as it was : For 1 read my Bible more than twice 
 through inlefs than a year, I fpent much time every 
 day in fecret prayer, and other fecret duties : i gave 
 great attention to the word preached, and endeavour- 
 ed to my utmolt, to retain it. So much concerned 
 
 was 
 
 * Mr. fifix was the pallor of the church in Haddam, 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 13 
 
 was I about religion, that I agreed with fome young 
 perfons to meet privately on Sabbath evenings for re- 
 ligious cxercifes, and thought myfelf fincere in thefe 
 duties ; and after our meeting was ended, I ufed to 
 repeat the difcourfes of the day to myielf, and recol- 
 lect what I could, though fometimes it was very late 
 in the night. Again on Monday mornings, I ufed 
 fometimes to recoiled: the fame fermons. A 4 nd I 
 had fometimes confiderable movings of affections in 
 duties, and much pleafure, and had many thoughts 
 of joining to the church. In (hort, I had a very good 
 outride, and refled entirely on my duties, though I 
 was not fenfible of it. 
 
 After Mr. Fifke's death, I proceeded in my learn- 
 ing with my brother ; and was ftill very conftant in 
 religious duties, and often wondered at the levity of 
 profeiTbrs ; it was a trouble to me, that they were fo 
 carelefs in religious matters. Thus I proceeded a 
 considerable length on a felf righteous foundation ; 
 and mould have been entirely loft and undone, had 
 not the mere mercy of God prevented. 
 
 Some time in the beginning of winter, anno 1738, 
 it pleafed God, on one Sabbath day morning, as I 
 was walking out for fome fecret duties (as I remem- 
 ber) to give me on a fudden fuch a fenfe of my dan- 
 ger and the wrath of God, that I ftood amazed, and 
 my former good frames, that I had pleafed myfelf 
 with, all prefently vanimed ,• and from the view, 
 that I had of my fin and vilenefs, I was much dif- 
 treffed all that day, fearing the vengeance of God 
 would foon overtake me ; I was much dejected, and 
 kept much alone, and fometimes begrudged the birds 
 and beafts their happinefs, becaufe they were not ex- 
 pofed to eternal mifery, as 1 evidently faw I was. 
 And thus I lived from day to day, being frequently 
 in great diflreis. Sometimes there appeared moun- 
 tains before me topbftruct my hopes of mercy ; and 
 
 the 
 
14 T ii e L I F E o f 
 
 the work of converfion appeared fo great, I thought 
 1 fhould never be the fubject of it : But ufed how-* 
 ever, to pray and cry to God, and perform other du- 
 ties with great earneftnefs, and hoped by fome 
 means to make the cafe better. And though I, hun- 
 dreds of times, renounced all pretences of any w»rth 
 in my duties (as I thought) even in the feafonof the 
 performance of them, and often confefifed to God 
 that I deferved nothing for the very belt of them, 
 but eternal condemnation : Yet ftill I had a fecret 
 latent hope of recommending myfelf to God by my 
 religious duties ; and when I prayed affectionately, 
 and my heart feemed in fome meafure to melt, I 
 hoped God would be thereby moved to pity me ; my 
 prayers then looked with fome appearance of good- 
 nefs in them, and I feemed to mourn for fin ; and 
 then I could in fome meafure venture on the mercy 
 of God in Chrift, (as I thought ;) though the pre- 
 ponderating thought and foundation of my hope was 
 fome imagination of goodnefsin my heart meltings, 
 and flowing of affections in duty, and fometimes ex- 
 traordinary enlargements therein, &c. Though at 
 fome times the gate appeared fo very ftrait, that it 
 looked next to impoffible to enter, yet at other times 
 I flattered myfelf that it was not fo very difficult, 
 and hoped I fliould by diligence and watchfulnefs 
 foon gain the point. Sometimes after enlargement 
 in duty and considerable affection, I hoped I had 
 made a good ffep towards heaven, and imagined 
 that God was affected as I was, and that he would 
 hear fuch fincere cries, (as I called them) and fo 
 fometimes when I withdrew for fecret duties in great 
 diftrefs, I returned fomething comfortable; and thus 
 Jiealed ,myfelf with my duties. 
 
 Some time in February, 1738,9,! ^t apart a day for 
 fecret fafting and prayer, and fpent the day in al- 
 moft inceffant cries to God for mercy, that he would 
 
 open 
 
% Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 15 
 
 open my eyes to fee the evil of fin, and the way of 
 life by Jefus Chrift. And God was pleafed that day 
 to make confiderable difcoveries of my heart to me : 
 But ftill I trufted in all the duties I performed 3 
 though there was no manner of goodnefs in the du- 
 ties I then performed, there being no manner of re- 
 fpect to the glory of God in them, nor any fuch prin- 
 ciple in my heart : Yet God was pleafed to make 
 my endeavours that day, a means to fhew me my 
 hejpleflhefs, in fomemeafure. 
 
 Sometimes I was greatly encouraged, and imagin- 
 ed that God loved me and was pleafed with me, and 
 thought I mould foon be fully reconciled to God ; 
 while the whole was founded on mere prefumption, 
 arifing from enlargement in duty, or flowing of af- 
 fections, or fome good refolutions, and the like. 
 And when, at times, great diftrefs began to.arife, on? 
 a light of my vilenefs and nakednefs, and inability 
 to deliver myfelf from a fovereign God, I ufed to 
 put off the difcovery, as what I could not bear. Once, 
 I remember, a terrible pang of diftrefs feized me, 
 and the thoughts of renouncing myfelf, and (land- 
 ing naked before God, ftripped of all goodnefs, 
 were fo dreadful to me, that I was ready to fay to 
 them as Felix to Paul, Go thy way for this th?ie. 
 Thus, though I daily longed for greater conviction 
 of fin, fuppofing that I muft fee more of my dread- 
 ful ftate in order to a remedy, yet when the difcov- 
 eries of my vile hellifh heart were made to me, the 
 fight was fo dreadful, and lliewed me fo plainly my 
 expofednefs to damnation, that I could not endure 
 it. I conftantly ftrove after whatever qualifications, 
 I imagined others obtained before the reception of 
 Chrift, in order to recommend me to his favour. 
 Sometimes I felt the power of an hard heart, and 
 fuppofed it muft be foftened before Chrift would 
 accept of me; and when I felt any meltings of heart, 
 
 I 
 
i6 The LIFE op 
 
 I hoped now the work was almoft done : And hence, 
 when my diftrefs ftill remained, I was wont to mur- 
 mur at God's dealings with me; and thought, when 
 others felt their hearts fo ftened, God fhewed them 
 mercy : But my diftrefs remained ftill. 
 
 Sometimes I grew remifs and fluggifh, without 
 any great convictions of fin, for a confiderable time 
 together; but after fuch a feafon, convictions fome- 
 times feized me more violently. One night I re- 
 member in particular, when I was walking folitari- 
 ly abroad, I had opened to me fuch a view of my 
 fin, that I feared the ground would cleave afunder 
 under my feet, and become my grave, and fend my 
 foul quick into hell, before I could get home. And 
 though I was forced to go to bed, left my diftrefs 
 mould be difcovered by others, which I much fear- 
 ed j yet I fcarce durft fleep at all, for I thought it 
 would be a great wonder if I mould be out of hell in 
 the morning. And though my diftrefs was fometimes 
 thus great, yet I greatly dreaded the lofs of convic- 
 tions, and returning back to a ftate of carnal fecurity, 
 and to my former infenfibility of impending wrath; 
 which made me exceeding exact in my behaviour, 
 left: I fhould ftifle the motions of God's Spirit. When 
 at any time I took a view of my convictions of my 
 own finfulnefs, and thought the degree of them to 
 be confiderable, I was wont to truft in my convic- 
 tions : But this confidence, and the hopes that arofe 
 in me from it, of foon making fome notable advances 
 towards deliverance, would eafe my mind, and I 
 foon became more fenfelefs and remifs : But then 
 again when I difcerned my convictions to grow lan- 
 guid, and I thought them about to leave me, this 
 immediately alarmed and diftreffed me. Sometimes 
 I expected to take a large ftep, and get very far to~ 
 wards converfion by fome particular opportunity or 
 means I had in view. 
 
 The 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 17 
 
 The many difappointments, and great diftreffes 
 and perplexity I met with, put me into a moll hor- 
 rible frame of contending with the Almighty ; with 
 an inward vehemence and virulence, finding fault 
 with his ways of dealing with mankind. I found 
 great fault with the imputation of Adam's fin to his 
 pofterity : And my wicked heart often wifhed for 
 fbme other way of falvation than by Jefus Chrift : 
 And being like the troubled fea, and my thoughts 
 confufed, I ufed to contrive to efcape the wrath of 
 God by fome other means, and had firange projec- 
 tions, full of Atheifm, contriving to difappoint God's 
 defigns and decrees concerning me, or to efcape 
 God's notice, and hide my felt from him : But when, 
 upon reflection, I faw thefe projections were vain, 
 and would not ferve me, and that I could contrive 
 nothing for my own relief, this would throw my 
 mind into the mod horrid frame, to wifh there was 
 no God, or to wifh there were fome other God that 
 could control him, Sec. Thefe thoughts and de- 
 fires were the fecret inclinations of my heart, that 
 were frequently acting before I was aware ; but alas, 
 they were mine ! although I was affrighted with 
 them, when I came to reflect on them : When I con- 
 iidered of it, it diiirefTed me, to think that my heart 
 was fo full of enmity againft God ; and it made me 
 tremble, left God's vengeance lhould fuddenly fall 
 upon me. I ufed before to imagine my heart was 
 not fo bad as the fcriptures and fome other books 
 reprefented. Sometimes I ufed to take much pains 
 to work it up into a good frame, a humble fubmif- 
 five difpofition ; and hoped there was then fome 
 goodnefs in me : But it may be on a fudden, the 
 thoughts of the itrictnefs of the law, or the fovereign- 
 ty of God, would fo irritate the corruption of my 
 heart, that I had fo watched over, and hoped I had 
 brought to a good frame, that it would break ove£ 
 B all 
 
i8 Th e L 1 F E o i 
 
 all bounds, and burft forth on all fides, like floods 
 of waters, when they break down their dam. But 
 being fenfible of the neceflity of a deep humiliation in 
 order to a faving clofe with Chrift, 1 ufed to fetmy- 
 felf to work in my own heart thofe convictions, that 
 were requifite in fuch an humiliation : As, a convic- 
 tion, that God would be juft, if he cad: me off forev- 
 er ; and that if ever God fhould bellow mercy on 
 me, it would be mere grace, though I mould be in 
 diftrefs many years firft, and be never fo much en- 
 gaged in duty ; that God was not in theleaft obliged 
 to pity me the more for all pall: duties, cries, and 
 tears, &c Thefe things I ftrove to my utmoft to 
 bring myfelftoa firm belief of, and hearty affent 
 to ; and hoped that now I was brought off from my- 
 ielf, and truly humbled and bowed to the divine 
 fovereignty ; and was wont to tell God in my pray- 
 ers, that now I had thofe very, difpofitions of foul 
 that he required, and on which hcihewed mercy to 
 ethers, and thereupon to beg and plead for mercy 
 to me : But when i found no relief, and was frill 
 oppreffed with guilt and fears of wrath, my foul was 
 in a tumult, and my heart rofe againft God, as deal- 
 ing hardly with me, Yet then my conference flew 
 in my face, putting me in mind of my late confef- 
 fion to God of his juftice in my condemnation, &c. 
 And this, giving me a fight of the badnefs of my 
 heart, threw me again into diftrefs, and I wifhed I 
 had watched my heart more narrowly, to keep it 
 from breaking out againft God's dealings with me, 
 and I even wifhed I had not pleaded for mercy on 
 account of my humiliation, becaufe thereby I had 
 loft all my feeming goodnefs. 
 
 Thus, fcores of times, I vainly imagined myfelf 
 humbled and prepared for faving mercy.- 
 
 While I was in this diftreffed, bewildered, and 
 tumultuous ftate of mind, the corruption of my 
 
 heart 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 19 
 
 heart was efpecialiy irritated with thefe things fol- 
 lowing : 
 
 1. The ftrictnefs of the divine law. For I found 
 it was impoliible for me, after my utmoft pains, to 
 anfvver the demands ot it. I often made new refolu- 
 tions, and as often broke them. I imputed the 
 whole to carelelTnefs, and the want of being more 
 watchful, and ufed to call myfelf a fool for my neg- 
 ligence : But when, upon a ftronger refolution, and 
 greater endeavours, and clofe application of myfelf 
 to falling and prayer, 1 found all attempts fail, then 
 1 quarrelled with the law of God, as unreafonably 
 rigid. I thought, if it extended only to my outward 
 actions and behaviour, I could bear with it : But I 
 found it condemned me for my evil thoughts, and 
 fins of my heart, which I could not poffibly prevent. 
 I was extremely loth to give out, and own my utter 
 helplefThefs in this matter : But after repeated dif- 
 appointments, thought that, rather than perifh, I 
 could do a little more Hill, efpecialiy iffuchand fuch 
 circumftances might but attend my endeavours and 
 ftrivings; I hoped that I mould ftrive more earneifly 
 ly than ever, if the matter came toextremity (though I 
 never could find the time to do my utmoft, in the man- 
 ner 1 intended :) And this hope of future more favour- 
 able circumftances, and of doingfomethinggreat here- 
 after, kept me from defpair in myfelf, and from fee- 
 ing myfelf fallen into the hands ofa fovereign God, and 
 dependent on nothing but free and boundlefs grace : 
 
 2. Another thing was, that faith alone was the 
 condition of falvation ; and that God would not 
 come down to lower terms, that he would not prom- 
 ife life and falvation upon my iincere and hearty" 
 prayers and endeavours. That word, Mark xvi. 16. 
 He that believeth not, jhall be damned, cut off all hope 
 there : And I found, faith was the fovereign gifto^ 
 God j that I could not get it as of myfelf, and could 
 
 B % not 
 
20 T HE LIFE OF 
 
 not oblige God to beftow it upon me, by any of my 
 performances. Eph. ii. I. 8. This, I was ready to 
 fay, is a bard faying, Who can hear it f I could not 
 bear, that all I had done ihould (land for mere noth- 
 ing, who had been very confeientious in duty, and 
 had been exceeding religious a great while, and had 
 (as I thought) done much more than many others 
 that had obtained mercy. I confefTed indeed the 
 vilenefs of my duties ; but then, what made them 
 at that time feem vile, was my wandering thoughts 
 in them ; not becaufe I was all over defiled like a 
 devil, and the principle corrupt from whence they 
 flowed, fo that I could not poflibly do any thing that 
 was good. And therefore I called what 1 did, by 
 the name of honeft faithful endeavours ; and could 
 not bear it, that God had made no promifes of falva- 
 tion to them. 
 
 3. Another thing was, that ^could not find out 
 w 7 hat faith was ; or what it was to believe, and 
 come to Chriil. I read the calls of Chriil:, made to 
 the weary and heavy laden ; but could find no way, 
 that he directed them to come in. I thought, I 
 would gladly come, if I knew how, though the path 
 of duty directed to were never fo difficult. I read 
 Mr. Stoddard's Guide to Chrifl (which I trull was, 
 in the hand of God, the happy means of my conver- 
 sion) and my heart rofe againff. the author ; for 
 though he told me my very heart all along under con- 
 victions, and feemed to be very beneficial to me in 
 his directions ; yet here he failed, he did not tell me 
 any thing I could do, that would bring me to Chrift, 
 but left me as it were with a great gulf between me 
 and Chrift, without any direction to get through. 
 For I was not yet effectually and experimentally 
 taught, that there could be no way prefcribed, where- 
 by a natural man could, of his own ftrength, obtain 
 that which is fupernatural, and which the higheft 
 angel cannot give. 
 
 4. Another 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. ti 
 
 4. Another thing that I found a great inward op- 
 pofition to, was the fovereignty of God. I could 
 not bear, that it fhould be wholly at God's pleafure, 
 to fave or damn me, juft as he would. That paf- 
 fage, Rom. ix. 11 — 23. was a conftant vexation to 
 me, efpecially verfesi. The reading or meditating 
 on this always deitroyed my feeming good frames : 
 When I thought I was almofr. humbled, and almoft 
 refigned to God's fovereignty, the reading or think- 
 ing on this paffage would make my enmity againft 
 the fovereignty of God appear. And when 1 came 
 to refiecl: on my inward enmity and blafphemy, that 
 arofe on this occafion, I was the more afraid of God, 
 and driven further from any hopes of reconciliation 
 with him ; and it gave me fuch a dreadful view of 
 myfelf, that I dreaded more than ever to fee myfelf in 
 God's hands, and at his fovereign difpofal, and it 
 made me more op^ofite than ever to ilibmit to his 
 fovereignty ; for I thought God defigned my dam- 
 nation. 
 
 All this time the Spirit of God was powerfully at 
 work with me; and I was inwardly preiled torelin- 
 quifh all felf confidence, all hopes of ever helping 
 myfelf by any means whatfoever : And the convic- 
 tion of my loll: eftate was fometimes fo clear and 
 manifeft before my eyes, that it was as if it had been 
 declared to me in fo many words, " It is done, it is 
 done, it is forever impoflibleto deliver yourfelf." For 
 about three or four days, my foul was thus diftreffed, 
 efpecially at foine turns, when for a few moments I 
 feemed to myfelf loll and undone ; but then would 
 fhrink back immediately from the light, be- 
 oaufe I dared not venture myfelf into the hands of 
 God, as wholly helplefs, and at the difpofal of his 
 fovereign pieafure. I dared not fee that important 
 truth concerning myfelf, that I was dead in trefpajfes 
 and fin?. But when I had as it were thruft away 
 B 3 thcfe 
 
22 , The LIFE of 
 
 thefe views of myfelf at any time, I felt dinreffed to 
 have the fame difcoveries of myfelr again ; for 1 
 greatly feared being given over of God to final ifu- 
 pidity. When I thought of putting it off to a more 
 convenient feafon % the conviction was fo clofe and 
 powerful with regard to the prefenttime, that it was 
 the heft time, and probably the only time, that I 
 dared not put it off. It was the fight of truth con- 
 cerning myfelf, truth refpe«5ting my ffate, as a crea- 
 ture fallen and alienated from God, and that confe- 
 quently could make no demands on God for mercy, 
 but mull fubfcribe to the abfolute fovereignty of the 
 Divine Being; the fight of the truth, I fay, my 
 foul fhrankaway from, and trembled to think of be- 
 holding. Thus, be that doth evil (as all unregener- 
 ate men continually" do) hates the light of truth, 
 neither cares to come to it, becaufe it will reprove his 
 deeds, and mew him his jufl defyts. (John iii. 20.) 
 And though, fome time before, I had taken much 
 pains (as I thought) to fubmit to the fovereignty of 
 God, yet I miitook the thing ; and did not once im- 
 agine, that feeing and being made experimentally 
 feniible of this truth, which my foul now fo much 
 dreaded and trembled at a fenfeof, was the frame of 
 foul that I had been fo earneff. in purfuit of hereto- 
 fore : For I had ever hoped, that when I had attain- 
 ed to that humiliation, which 1 fuppofed neceffarv, 
 to go before faith, then it would not be fair for God 
 to cafl me off; but now I (aw it was fo far from any 
 goodnefs in me, to own myfelt fpiritually dead, and 
 deititute of all goodnefs, that on the contrary, my 
 mouth would be forever flopped by it : and it look- 
 ed as dreadful to me, to fee myfelf, and the relation 
 I flood m to God, as a finner and a criminal, and he 
 a great judge and fovereign, as it would be to a poor 
 trembling creature, to venture off fome high preci- 
 pice. And hence I put it off for a minute or two, 
 
 and 
 
Mr. DA VI D BR A I NERD. 23 
 
 and tried for better circumftances to do it in ; either 
 I muff, read a paffage or two, or pray firft, or fone- 
 thing of the like nature ; or elfe put off my fubmif- 
 fion to God's fovereignty, with an objection, that I 
 did not know how to fubmit : But the truth was, I 
 could feenofafety in owning myfelf in the hands of a 
 fovereign God, and that I could lay no claim to any 
 thing better than damnation. 
 
 But after a confiderable fime fpent in fuch likeex- 
 ercifes and diftreffes, one morning, while I was walk- 
 ing in afolitary place as ufual, I at once faw that all 
 my contrivances and projections to effect or procure 
 deliverance and falvation for myfelf, were utterly in 
 vain : I was brought quite to a lland, as finding my- 
 felf totally loft. I had thought many times before, 
 that the difficulties in my way were very great : But 
 now I faw, in another and very different light, that 
 it was forever impoflible forme to do any thing to- 
 wards helping or delivering myfelf. I then thought 
 of blaming myfelf, that I had not done more, and 
 been more engaged, while I had opportunity (tor it 
 feemed now as if the feafon of doing was forever 
 over and gone) but I inlfantly faw, that let me have 
 done what I would, it would no more have tended 
 to my helping myfelf, than what I had done ; 
 that I had made all the pleas I ever could have made 
 to all eternity ; and that all my pleas were vain. 
 The tumult that had been before in my mind, was 
 now quieted ; and I was fomething eafed of that 
 diitrefs, which 1 felt while flruggling againil a light 
 of rnyfelf, and of the divine fovereignty. I had the 
 greater! certainty, that my ftate was forever mifera- 
 ble, for all that I could do ; and wondered, and was 
 aimofl aironiihed, that 1 had never been fenlible of it 
 before. 
 
 In the time while I remained in this flate, my no- 
 tions iwfp-ecting my duties, were quite different 
 
 B 4 from 
 
24 The LIFE of 
 
 from what I had ever entertained in times pad. 
 Before this, the more I did in duty, the more I 
 thought God was obliged to me ; or at leaft the 
 more hard I thought it would be for God to caff me 
 off; though at the fame time I confeffed, and thought 
 I faw, that there was no goodnefs or merit in my 
 duties : But now the more I did in prayer or any 
 other duty, the more I faw I was indebted to God 
 for allowing me to aik for mercy ; for I faw, it was 
 felf intereft had led me to pray, and that I had never 
 once prayed from any refpect to the glory of God. 
 Now I faw, there was no necelfary connection be- 
 tween my prayers and the beftowment of divine 
 mercy; that. they laid not the leafl obligation upon 
 God to beftow his grace upon me ; and that there 
 ■was no more virtue or goodnefs in them, than there 
 would be in my paddling with my hand in the ^a- 
 ter, (which was the comparifon I had then in my 
 mind) and this becaufe they were not performed 
 from any love or regard to God. I law that I had 
 been heaping up my devotions before God, faffing, 
 praying, &c. pretending, and indeed really thinking, 
 at fome times , that I was aiming at the glory of God ; 
 whereas I never once truly intended it, but only my 
 own happinefs. I faw, that, as I had never done 
 any thing for God, I had no claim to lay to any thing 
 from him, but perdition, on account of my hypoc- 
 rify and mockery. O how different did my duties 
 now appear from what they ufed to do S I ufed to 
 charge them with fin and imperfection ; but this 
 was only on account of the wanderings and vain 
 thoughts attending them, and not becaufe I had no 
 regard to God in them ; for this I thought I had : 
 But when I faw evidently that I had regard to 
 nothing but felf intereft, then they appeared vile 
 mockery of God, felf worfhip, and a continual courfe 
 of lies ; fo that I faw now, there was fomething 
 
 worfe 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 25 
 
 worfe had attended my duties, than barely a few- 
 wanderings, &c. for the whole was nothing but 
 felf worfhip and an horrid abufe of God. 
 
 I continued, as I remember, in this Hate of mind, 
 from Friday morning until the Sabbath evening/ol- 
 lowing, July 12, 1739, when I was walking again in 
 the fame folitary place where I was brought to fee 
 myfelf loft and helplefs (as was before mentioned) 
 and here, in a mournful melancholy ftate, was at- 
 tempting to pray ; but found no heart to engage in 
 that, or any other duty; my former concern, and ex- 
 ercife, and religious affections were now gone. I 
 thought the Spirit of God had quite left me ; but 
 ilill was not diftreiTed : Yet difcon folate, as if there 
 was nothing in heaven or earth could make me 
 happy. And having been thus endeavouring to 
 pray (though being, as I thought, very ilupid and 
 fenfelefs) for near half an hour, (and by this time the 
 fun was about half an hour high, as I remember) 
 then, as I was walking in a dark thick grove, un- 
 fpeakable glory feemed to open to the view and ap- 
 prehension of my foul : I do not mean any externa! 
 brightnefs, for I faw no fuch thing; nor do I intend 
 any imagination of a body of light, fome where 
 away in the third heavens, or any thing of that na- 
 ture ; but it was a new inward apprehenficn or view 
 that I had of God, fuch as I never had before, nor 
 any thing which had the leaft refemblance of it. I 
 flood ftill, and wondered and admired ! 1 knew th?.t 
 I never had {cen before any thing comparable to it 
 for excellency and beauty : It was widely different 
 from all the conceptions that ever 1 had had of God, 
 or things divine. 1 had no particular appreheniian 
 of any one perfon in the Trinity, either the Father, 
 the Son, or the Holy Ghdft ; but it appeared to be 
 divine glory that I then beheld : And my foul re- 
 joiced with joy unipeakablc, to fee fuch a God, fuch 
 
 a 
 
26 The LIFE of 
 
 a glorious divine Being ; and I was inwardly pleaf- 
 ed and fatisfied, that he fliould be God over all for- 
 ever and ever. My foul was fo captivated and de- 
 lighted with the excellency, lovelinefs, greatnefs, 
 and other perfections of God, that I was even fwal- 
 lowed up in him ; at lcaft to that degree, that I had 
 no thought (as I remember) at firit, about my own 
 falvation, and fcarce reflected there was inch a crea- 
 ture as myfelf. 
 
 Thus God, I truft, brought me to a hearty difpo- 
 fition to exalt him, and let him on the throne, and 
 principally and ultimately to aim at his honour and 
 glory, as King of the Univerfe. 
 
 I continued in this (rate of inward joy and peace, 
 yet aftonifhment, until near dark, without any fenli- 
 ble abatement ; and then began to think and exam- 
 ine what I had feen ; and felt fweetly compofed in 
 my mind all the evening following : I felt myfelfln 
 a new world, and every thing about me appeared 
 with a different afpedt from what it^was wont to do. 
 
 At this time, the way of falvation opened to me 
 with fuch infinite wifdom, fuitablenefs and excellen- 
 cy, that I wondered I mould ever think of any other 
 way of falvation ; was amazed that 1 had not drop- 
 ped my own contrivances, and complied with this 
 lovely, bleffed, and excellent way before. If I could 
 have been faved by my own duties, or any other way 
 that I had formerly contrived, my whole foul would 
 now have rcfufed. I wondered that all the world did 
 not fee and comply with this way of ialvation, en- 
 tirely by the righteoufnels of Chriil. 
 
 The fweet relifli of what I then felt, continued 
 with me for feveral days, almoif conftantly, in a 
 greater or lefs degree : 1 could not but iweetly re- 
 joice in God, lying down and riling up. The next 
 Lord's Day I felt fomething of the fame kind; though 
 not fo powerful as before. But, not long after, was 
 
 again 
 
Mr. D A V I D B RAINERD. 27 
 
 an;ain involved in thick darknefs, and under great 
 diftreis ; yet not of the fame kind with my diilrefs 
 tinder convictions. 1 was guilty, afraid and aiham- 
 ed to come before God, was exceedingly preffed with 
 a fenfe of guilt : But it was not long before I felt, I 
 truir , true repentance and joy in God. 
 
 About the latter end of Auguft, 1 again fell under 
 great darknefs ; it feemed as if the prefence of God 
 was clean gone forever. Though I was not fo much 
 diilreiTcd about my fpiritual ftate, as I was at my be- 
 ing (hut out from God's prefence, as I then feniibly 
 was. But it pleafed the Lord to return gracioufly to 
 me, not long after. 
 
 In the beginning of September I went to college*, 
 and entered there : But with fome degree of reluc- 
 tancy, fearing left I fliould not be able to lead a life 
 of ftridt religion, in the midft of fo many tempta- 
 tions. After this, in the vacancy, before I went to 
 tarry at college, it pleafed God to viiit my foul with 
 clearer manifeftations of himfelf and his grace. I 
 was {pending fome time in prayer, ancLfelf examina- 
 tion ; and the Lord by his grace fo fhined into my 
 heart, tiiat I enjoyed full aflu ranee of his favour for 
 that time ; and my foul was unfpeakably refrelhed 
 with divine and heavenly enjoyments. At this time 
 efpecially, as well as fome others, fundry pafTages of 
 God's word opened to my foul with divine clearnefs, 
 power and fweetnefs, fo as to appear exceeding pre- 
 cious, and with clear and certain evidence of its be- 
 ing the word of God. I enjoyed conliderable fweet- 
 nefs in religion, all the winter following. 
 
 In January, 173940, the mealies fpread much in 
 college ; and I having taken the diilemper, went 
 home to Haddam : But fome days before I was tak- 
 en fick, 1 feemed ro be greatly deferred, and my foul 
 mourned the abfence of the Comforter exceedingly : 
 
 h 
 
 * Yale College in New-Haven, 
 
28 The LIFE of 
 
 It Teemed to me, all comfort was forever gone ; I 
 prayed and cried to God for help, yet found no pref- 
 ent comfort or relief. But through divine goodnefs, 
 a night or two before I was taken ill, while I was 
 walking alone in a very retired place, and engaged 
 in meditation and prayer, I enjoyed a fweet refrelh- 
 ing vifit, as I truft, from above, fo that my foul w r as 
 raifed far above the fears of death ; indeed I rath- 
 er longed for death, than feared it. O how much 
 more refrefhing this one feafon was, than all the 
 pleafures and delights that earth can afford ! After 
 a day or two I was taken with the meafles, and was 
 very ill indeed, fo that I almoft. defpaired of life : 
 But had no diftreffing fears of death at all. How- 
 ever, through divine goodnefsl foon recovered : Yet, 
 by reafon of hard and clofe ftudies, and being much 
 expofed on account of my freihmanfhip, I had but 
 little time for fpiritual duties ; my foul often mourn- 
 ed for want of more time and opportunity to be alone 
 with God. In the fpring and iummer following I 
 had better advantages for retirement, and enjoyed 
 more comfort in religion : Though indeed my am- 
 bition in my ftudies greatly wronged the activity 
 and vigour of my fpiritual life : Yet this was ufual- 
 Iy the cafe with me, that in the multitude of my thoughts 
 within me % God's comforts principally delighted my 
 foul-. Thefe were my greateft confolations day by day. 
 One day I remember in particular (I think it was 
 in June, 1740) I walked to a conliderable diftance 
 from the college, in the fields alone at noon, and in 
 prayer found fuch unfpeakable fweetnefs and de- 
 light in God, that I thought, if I muft continue (till 
 in this evil world, I wanted always to be there, to 
 behold God's glory : My foul dearly loved all man- 
 kind, and longed exceedingly that they fhould en- 
 joy what I enjoyed. It feemed to be a little refem- 
 blance of Heaven. 
 
 On 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 29 
 
 On Lord's Dary, July 6, being facrament day, I 
 found fome divine life and fpiritual refreshment in 
 that holy ordinance. When I came from the Lord's 
 table, I wondered how my fellow fhidents could 
 live as I was fenfible moft did. Next Lord's Day, 
 July 13, I had fome fpecial fweetnefs in religion. 
 Again Lord's Day, July 20, my foul was in a fweet 
 and precious frame. 
 
 Sometime in Auguft following, I became fo weak- 
 ly and difordered, by too clofe application to my 
 iludies, that I was advifed by my tutor, to go home, 
 and difengage my mind from fhidy, as mucb as I 
 could ; for I was grown fo weak, that I began to 
 fpit blood. I took his advice, and endeavoured to lay 
 afide my fhidies. But being brought very low, I look- 
 ed death in the face more fteadfaftly ; and the Lord 
 was plea fed to give me renewed ly a fweet fenfe and 
 reliili of divine things; and particularly in October 
 1 3, I found divine help and confolation in the pre- 
 cious duties of fecret prayer and felf examination, 
 and my foul took delight in thebleffed God : So like- 
 wife on the 17th of October. 
 
 Saturday, October \%> in my morning devotions, 
 my foul was exceedingly melted for, and bitterly 
 mourned over my exceeding finfulnefs and vilenefs. 
 I never before had felt fo pungent and deep a fenfe 
 of the odious nature of fin, as at this time. My 
 foul was the* unufually carried forth in love to God, 
 and had a lively fenfe of God's love to me. And this 
 love and hope, at that time, cad: out fear. Both morn- 
 ing and evening I fpent fome time in felf examina- 
 tion, to find the truthof grace, as alfo my fitnefsto ap- 
 proach to God at his table the next day ; and through 
 infinite grace, found the Holy Spirit influencing 
 my foul with love to God, as a witnefs within my felf. 
 
 Lord's Day, October 19, in the morning I felt 
 my foul hungering and ihirfting after r ; 7ktcciifn p (s. 
 
 ' In 
 
30 The LIFE of 
 
 In the forenoon when I was looking on the facra- 
 mental elements, and thinking that fejus Chrijl 
 would foon be Jet. forth crucified before me, my foul 
 was filled with light and love, fo that I was almoft 
 in an ccftafy ; my body was fo weak, I could icarce- 
 ly itand. I felt at the fame time an exceeding ten- 
 dernefs and moil fervent love towards all mankind ; 
 fo that my foul and all the powers oi it feemed, as it 
 were, to melt into foftnefs and fweetnels. But in 
 the feafon of the communion there was fame abate- 
 ment of this fweet life and fervour. This love and joy 
 caftout fear; and my fo;rl longed for per feci: grace and 
 glory. This fweet frame continued until the evening, 
 when my foul was fweetly fpiritual in fecret duties. 
 
 Monday, Otiober 20, 1 again found the fweet af- 
 fiftance of the Holy Spirit in fecret duties, both 
 morning and evening, and life and comfort in relig- 
 ion through the whole day. 
 
 Tuefday, Ofiober 2i, I had likewife experience 
 of the goodnefs of God injhedding abroad his love in 
 my heart, and giving me delight and confolation in 
 religious duties. And all the remaining part of the 
 week, my foul feemed to be taken up with divine 
 things. I now fo longed after God, and to be freed 
 from fin, that when I felt myfelf recovering, and 
 thought I mult return ,to college again, which had 
 proved fo hurtful to my fpiritual intereft the year 
 pail, I could not but be grieved, and I diought I had 
 much rather have died ; for it dillreifed me to think 
 of getting away from God. But before I went, I 
 enjoyed feveral other fweet and precious fealons of 
 communion with God, (particularly O&ober 30, and 
 November 4,) wherein my foul enjoyed unfpeakable 
 comfort. 
 
 I returned to college about November 6, and 
 through the goodnefs of God felt the power of relig- 
 ion almoft daily, for the fpace of fix weeks. 
 
 November 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 3? 
 
 November 28, in my evening devotion, I enjoy- 
 ed precious difcoveries of God, and was unfpea<ka- 
 bly refrefhed with that paffage, Heb. xii. 22, 23, 24. 
 That my foul longed to wing away for the paradife 
 of God ; I longed to be conformed to God in all 
 tilings. A day or two after, I enjoyed much of the 
 light of God's countc?u;nce, mod: of the day ; and my 
 foul refted in God. 
 
 Tuefday, December 9, I. was in a comfortable 
 frame of foul moft of the day ; but efpecially in 
 evening devotions, when God was pleafed wonder- 
 fully to afTth 1 and flrengthen me ; fotbat I thought 
 nothing Ihould ever move me from the love of God 
 in Chrifl Jefus my Lord. O ! one hour with God 
 infinitely exceeds all the pleafures and delights of 
 this lower world. 
 
 Sometime towards the latter end of January, 
 1740,1 , I grew more cold and dull in matters of re- 
 ligion, by means of my old temptation, viz. ambi- 
 tion in my fludies. But through divine goodnefs, a 
 great and general awakening ipread itfelf over the 
 college, about the latter end of February, in which 
 I was much quickened, and more abundantly engag- 
 ed in religion. 
 
 [This awakening here fpoken of, was at the be- 
 ginning of that extraordinary religious commotion 
 through the land, which is frelh in every one's mem- 
 ory. This awakening was for a time very great and 
 general at New-Haven ; and the college had no 
 fmall fliare in it : That fociety was greatly reform- 
 ed, the fhidents in general became ferious, and ma- 
 ny of them remarkably fo, and much engaged in 
 the concerns of their eternal falvation. And how- 
 ever undeiirable the iffueof the a wakenings of that day 
 have appeared in many others, there have been man- 
 ifeflly happy and abiding effects of the impreflions 
 then made on the minds of many of the members of 
 
 that 
 
P The LIFE of 
 
 that college. And by all that I can learn concerning 
 Mr. Brainerd, there can be no reafon to doubt but 
 that he had much of God's gracious prefence, and 
 of the lively actings of true grace, at that time : But 
 yet he was afterwards abundantly fenfibie, that his 
 religious experiences and affections at that time were 
 not free from a corrupt mixture, nor his con duel: to 
 be acquitted from many things that were imprudent 
 and blamable j which he greatly lamented himfelf, 
 and was willing that others fhould forget, that none 
 might make an ill improvement of fuch an example. 
 And therefore 'although in the time of it, he kept a 
 conftant Diary, containing a very particular account 
 of what pad'ed from day to day, for the nex,t thirteen 
 months, from the latter end of January, 1740,1, 
 forementioned, in two fmall books, which he called 
 the two firfr volumes of his Diary, next following 
 the account before given of his convictions, conver- 
 fion, and confequent comforts ; yet, when he lay on 
 his death bed, he gave order (unknown to me, until 
 after his death) that thefe two volumes fhould bede- 
 ftroyed, and in the beginning of the third book of 
 his Diary, he wrote thus, (by the hand of another, 
 he not being able to write himfelf) — " The two pre- 
 ceding volumes, immediately following the account 
 of the author's converfion, are loft. If any are de- 
 firous to know how the author lived in general, 
 during that fpace of time, let them read the nrft thir- 
 ty pages of this volume ; where they will find fome- 
 thing of a fpecimen of his ordinary manner of liv- 
 ing, through that whole fpace of time, which was 
 about thirteen months ; excepting that here he was 
 more refined from fome imprudencies and indecent 
 heats, than there ; but the fpirit of devotion running 
 through the whole, was the fame." 
 
 It could not be otherwife than that one whofe 
 heart had been fo prepared and drawn to God, as 
 
 Mr, 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 33 
 
 Mr. Brainerd 's had been, fliould be mightily enlarg- 
 ed, animated and engaged, at the fight of fuch an 
 alteration made in the college, the town and land, 
 and io great an appearance of men's reforming their 
 lives, and turning from their profanenefs and immo- 
 rality, to ferioufnefs and concern for their falvation, 
 and of religion's reviving and floiirifliing almoit ev- 
 ery where. But as an intemperate imprudent zeal, 
 and a degree oT enthuiiafm loon crept in, and min- 
 gled itfelf with that revival of religion; and fo great 
 and general an awakening being quite a new thing 
 in the land, at lead: as to all the living inhabitants 
 of it ; neither people nor minidershad learned thor- 
 oughly to diiringuilh between folid religion and its 
 delufive counterfeits ; even many miniflers of the 
 gofpel, of long {landing and the bed: reputation, 
 were for a time overpowered with the glaring ap- 
 pearances of the latter : And therefore furely it was 
 not to be wondered at, that young Brainerd, but a 
 ibphimore at college, mould be fo ; who was not 
 only young in years, -but very young in religion and 
 experience, and had had but little opportunity for 
 the ftudy of divinity, and frill lefs for obfervation of 
 thecircumftances and events of fuch an extraordinary 
 Irate of things : A man mud dived himfelf of all 
 reafon, to make flrange of it. In thefe difadvanta- 
 gcous circumflances, Brainerd had the unhappinefs 
 to have a tincture of that intemperate indifcreet zeal, 
 which was at that time too prevalent j and was ted, 
 from his high opinion of others that he looked upon 
 better than himfelf, into fuch errors as were really 
 contrary to the habitual temper of his mind. One 
 indanci? of his mifconducl: at that time, gave great 
 offence to the rulers of the college, even to that de- 
 gree that they expelled him the fociety ; which it is 
 neceilary flibuld here be particularly related, with its 
 eircum dances. 
 
 C. U. 
 
34 The LIFE of 
 
 In the time of the awakening at college, there 
 were feveral religious fludents that allociated them- 
 ielves one with another for mutual converfation and 
 afliftance in fpiritual things, who were wont freely 
 to open themfelves one to another, as fpecial and in- 
 timate friends. Brainerd was one of this company. 
 And it once happened, that he and two or three 
 moreofthefe his intimate friends were in the hall 
 together, after Mr. Whittelfcy, one of the tutors, 
 had heen to prayer there with the fcholars ; no oth- 
 er perfon now remaining in the hall, but Brainerd 
 and thefe his companions. Mr. Whittelfey haying 
 been unufually patheticalin his prayer, one of Brai- 
 nerd's friends on this occafion aiked him what he 
 thought of Mr. Whittelfey ; he made anfwer, " He 
 Iras no more grace than this chair." One of the frefh- 
 men happening at that time to be near the hall 
 (though not in the room) overheard thofe words oi 
 his ; though he heard no name mentioned, and knew 
 not who the perfon was, which was thus cenfured. 
 He informed a certain woman that belonged to the 
 town, withal telling her his own fufpicion, viz. that 
 he believed Brainerd faid this of fbme one or other 
 of the rulers of the college. Whereupon (lie went 
 and informed the rector, who fent for this frefhman 
 and examined him ; and he told the reclor the 
 words that he heard Brainerd utter, and informed 
 him who were in the room with him at that time. 
 Upon which the rector fent for them : They were 
 very backward to inform againft their friend, of that 
 which they looked upon as private converfation, and 
 efpecially as none but they had heard or knew of 
 whom he had uttered thofe words ; yet the reclor 
 compelled them to declare what he faid, and of whom 
 he faid it. Brainerd locked on himfelf greatly abuf- 
 ed in the management of this affair ; and thought, 
 that what he faid in private, was injurioufly extort- 
 ed 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 35 
 
 ed from his friends, and that then it was injurioufly 
 required of him (as it was wont to be of fuch as had 
 been guilty of fome Open notorious crime) to make 
 a publick confeffion, and to humble himfelf before 
 the whole college in the hall, for what he had faid 
 only in private converfation. He; not complying 
 with this demand, and having gone once to the fep- 
 arate meeting at New-Haven, when forbidden by 
 the rector, and alfo having been accufed by one per- 
 fon of faying concerning the rector, that he wonder- 
 ed he did not expect to drop down dead for fining 
 the fcholars who followed Mr. Tennent to Milford, 
 though there was no proof of it (and Mr. Brainerd 
 ever profefTed that he did not remember his faying 
 any thing to that purpofe) for thefe things he was 
 expelled the college. 
 
 Now, how far the cirrjum fiances and exigences of 
 that day might juftify fuch great feverity in the gov- 
 ernours of the college, I will not undertake to deter- 
 mine ; it being my airri,inot.to bring reproach on 
 the authority of the college, but only to do juftice to 
 the memory of a perfon who I think to be eminent- 
 ly one of thofe who fe memory is blejjed. The reader 
 will fee, in the fequel of the flory of Mr. Brainerd 's: 
 life,* what his own thoughts afterwards were of his 
 behaviour in thefe things, and in how chriftian a 
 manner he conducted himfelf, with refpect to this 
 affair ; though he ever, as long as he lived, fuppof- 
 ed himfelf much abufed in the management of it» 
 and in what he fuffered in it* 
 
 His expulfion was in the winter anno 1741,2,, 
 whikihe was: in his third year in college.] 
 
 * Psrtaculajty unc'.cr the date, U'fdnefilay, Stptcmbtr i4» 1743- 
 
 W r A k 1 
 
 1 . 
 
The LIFE <yt 
 
 i 
 
 V A R T II. 
 
 £r$tf ahout the timet bat he fir ft began to devote himj elf 
 more efpcciatly To the Study of Divinity, until 
 he was examined and lice nfed to preach , by the As- 
 sociation of 'Ministers belonging to the eaflem 
 dijlritl of the county ofluiirfcldin Connecticut \ 
 
 \\ y|R. Brainerd, the fpring after his expulfion, 
 IVi went to live with the Rev. Mr. Mills of Rip- 
 ton, to follow his ftudies with him, in order to his 
 being fitted for the work of the miniftry ; where 
 he fpent the greater part of the time until the af- 
 fociation licenied him to preach ; but frequently 
 rode to vifit the neighbouring minifters, particu- 
 larly Mr. Cooke of Stratfield, Mr. Graham of South- 
 bury, and Mr. Bellamy of, Bethlehem. 
 
 Here (at Mr. Mills's) he began the third book of 
 his Diary, in which the account he wrote of himfelf, 
 is as follows.] 
 
 Thufday y April i , 1742. — I feem to be declining 
 with refpecl to my life and warmth in.divine things : 
 Had not fo free accefs to God in prayer as ufual of 
 Lite. G that God would humble me deeply in the 
 duff before him. I deierve hell every day, for not 
 loving my Lord more, who has (I truft) loved me 
 and given himfelf for me ; and every time I am ena- 
 bled to exercife any grace renewedly, I am renewed- 
 ly indebted to the God of all grace for fpecial aflift- 
 ance. Where then is boafing f Surely it is excluded, 
 when we think how we are dependent on God for 
 the being and every act of grace. O if ever I get 
 to heaven, it will be becaufe God will, and nothing 
 df Cj for I ver did any thing of myfelf, but get 
 
 away 
 I 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 37 
 
 away from God ! My foul will be aftonifhed-#t <$$# 
 unfearchable riches of divine grace, when I arrive at 
 the maniions which the blelled Saviour is gone be- 
 fore to prepare. 
 
 Friday, April 2.— In the afternoon I felt fomething 
 fweetly in fecret prayer, much reiigned, calm and 
 ferene. What are. all the florins of this lower world , 
 if Jefus by his Spirit does but come walking upon the 
 feas ! Some time pail I had much pleafure in the 
 profpedt of the heathen's being brought home to 
 thrift, and defired that the Lord would improve me 
 in that work : But now my foul more frequently 
 de fires to die, to be with Chrift. O that my foul 
 were wrapt up in divine love, and my longing de- 
 fires after God increafed. In the evening, was re- 
 freshed in prayer, with the hopes of the advance- 
 ment of Chrift's kingdom in the world. 
 
 Saturday r , April 3. — Was very much amifs this 
 morning, and had an ill night laft night. I thought, 
 if God would take me to himfelf now, my foul 
 would exceedingly rejoice. O that I may be always 
 humble and refigned to God, and that God would 
 caufe my foul to be more fixed on himfelf, that I may 
 be more fitted both for doing and fuffering. 
 
 Lord's Day, April 4. — My heart was wandering 
 and lifelefs. In the evening God gave me faith in 
 prayer, and made my foul melt in fome meafure, and 
 gave me to tafte a divine fweetnefs. O my bleffed 
 God ! Let me climb up near to him, and love, and 
 long, and plead, and wreflle, and reach, and ftretch 
 after him, and fox deliverance from the body of Jin and 
 death. Alas, my foul mourned to think 1 fhould 
 ever lofe fight of its beloved again ! O come Lord 
 "jefus ! Atnen. 
 
 [On the evening of the next day, he complains 
 that he feemed to be void of all relifh of divine things., 
 felt much of the prevalence of corruption, and faw 
 C 3 in 
 
3* 
 
 The LIFE of 
 
 in'hifrvfelf a difpofition to all manner of fin ; which 
 brought a very great gloom on his mind, and call 
 him down into the depths of melancholy ; fo that 
 he fpeaks of himfelf, as aftonifhed, amazed, having 
 no comfort, being filled with horror, feeing no com- 
 fort in heaven or earth.] 
 
 Tuefdny, April 6. — I walked out this morning to 
 the fame place where I was laft night, and felt fome- 
 thing as I did then ; but was fomething relieved- by. 
 reading fome paiTages in my Diary, and feemed to 
 fed as if I might pray to the great God again with 
 freedom ; but was fuddenly (truck with a damp, 
 from the fenfe I had of my own vilenefs. Then I 
 cried to God to waih my foul and cleanfe me from 
 my exceeding filthinefs, to give me repentance and 
 pardon ; and it began to be fomething fweet to pray : 
 And I could think of undergoing the greateft iuffer- 
 ings in the caufe of Chrift, with pleafure ; and round 
 myfelf willing (if God mould fo order it) to fufTer 
 banifhment from my native land, among the hea- 
 then, that I might do fomething for their fouls' falva-* 
 tion, in diftrefles and deaths of any kind. Then 
 God gave me to wreftle earneftly for others, for the 
 kingdom of Chrift in the world, and for dear chrii- 
 tian friends. I felt weaned from the world and from 
 my own reputation amongft men, willing to be def* 
 pifed, and to be a gazing ftock for the world 
 to behol'd. It is impoftible for me to exprefs how 
 I then felt : I had not much joy, but fome fenfe of 
 the majefty of God, which made me as it were trem- 
 ble. I faw myfelf mean and vile, which made mc 
 more willing that God fhould do what he would 
 with me ; it was all infinitely reaionable. 
 
 Tburfday, April 8. ---Had raifed hopes to day res- 
 pecting the heathen. O that God would bring in 
 great numbers of them to Jcfus Chrift. I cannot but 
 hope 1 lhall fee that glorious day. Every thing in 
 
 this 
 
Mr. DAVID BRA'I.NERD. 39 
 
 this world feems exceeding vile and little to me : I 
 look ib to myfelf. 1 had lome little dawn of com- 
 fort to day in prayer : But efpecially tonight I think 
 I had fome faith and power of interceflion with God, 
 was enabled to plead with God for the growth of 
 grace in myfelf ; and many of the dear children of 
 God then lay with weight upon my foul. Biened be 
 the Lord. It is good to wreftle for divine blenings. 
 Friday, April 9. — Molt of my time in morning de- 
 votion was fpent without fenfible fweetnefs j yet I 
 had one delightful profpeCt of arriving at the heav- 
 enly world. I am more amazed thaaever at fuch 
 thoughts ; fori fee myfelf infinitely vile and unwor- 
 • thy. I feel very heartlefs and dull ; and though I 
 long for the prefence of God, and feem conilantly 
 to reach towards God in defires, yet I cannot feel 
 that divine and heavenly fweetnels that I ufcd to en- 
 joy. No poor creature Hands in need of divine grace 
 more than I, and none abufe it more than I have 
 done, and Hill do. 
 
 Saturday, April 10. — Spent much time in fecret 
 prayer this morning, and not without lome. comfort 
 in divine things, and I hope had fome faith in exer- 
 cife : But am lb low, and feel lb little of the fenfible 
 prefence of God, that 1 hardly know what to call, 
 laith, and am made to pqflej's the fins of my youth, and 
 t*ie dreadful lin of my nature, and am all iin ; I can- 
 not think, nor act, but every motion is lin. I feel 
 fome faint hopes, that God will, of his infinite mer- 
 cy, return again with mowers of converting grace to 
 poor gofpel abuiing linners ; and my hopes of being 
 improved in the caufe of God, which of late have 
 been almofr. extinct, feem now a little revived. O 
 that all my late d ill relies and awful appreheniions 
 might prove but ChrifVs fchool, to make me lit for 
 greater fervice, by learning me the great lclTon of 
 Juimility. 
 
 C 4. Lord's 
 
40 The LIFE of 
 
 Lord's Day , April i 1 . — In the morning, felt but lit- 
 tle life, excepting that my heart, was fomething 
 drawn out in thankfulnefs to God for his amazing 
 grace and condefcenfion to me in paif influences and 
 afliftances of his Spirit. Afterwards had fome fwcet- 
 iiefs in the thoughts of arriving at the heavenly- 
 world. O for the happy day. ! After publick wor- 
 ship God gave me fpccial affiftance in prayer ; I 
 wreitled with my dear Lord, with much fweetnefs ; 
 and interceffion was made a fweet and delightful em- 
 ployment to me. In the evening, as I was view- 
 ing the light in the north, was delighted in con- 
 templation on the glorious morning of the refurrec- 
 tion. 
 
 Monday, April 12. — This morning the Lord was 
 pleafed to lift up the light of his countenance upon me 
 in fecret prayer, and made the feafon very precious 
 to my foul. And though I have been fo depreffeci 
 of late, refpecling my hopes of future ierviceablenefs 
 in the caufe of God ; yet now 1 had much encour- 
 agement refpecling that matter. I was fpecially 
 affifted to intercede and plead for poor fouls, and for 
 the enlargement of ChrifVs kingdom in the world, 
 and for fpecial grace for myfelf, to fit me for fpecial 
 fer vices. I felt exceeding calm, and quite reiigned 
 to God, refpecting my future improvement, when, 
 and where he pjeafed : My faith lifed me above the 
 world, and removed all thofe mountains, that I 
 could not look over of late : I thought I wanted not 
 the favour of man to lean upon ; for I knew ChrifVs fa- 
 vour was infinitely better, and that it was nomatter 
 when, nor where, nor how Chrifr. mould fend me, nor 
 what trials hefhould ftillexercife mewith.ifl might 
 be prepared for his work and will. I now found iw eet- 
 ]y revived in my mind the wonderful difcovery of 
 infinite wifdom in all the difpenfations of God to- 
 wards me, which 1 had a liule before I met with my 
 
 great 
 
Mr. DAVID BR A I NERD. 41 
 
 great trial at college : Every thing appeared full of 
 the wifdom of God. 
 
 Tucfday, April 13. — Saw myfelf to be very mean 
 and vile ; wondered at thoie that fhewed me refpecl. 
 Afterwards was fomething comforted in fecret re- 
 tirement, and was alTiiled to wreifle with God, with 
 ibme power, fpirituality and fweetnefs. Blefled be 
 the Lord, he is never unmindful of me, but always 
 fends me needed fupplies, and, from rime to time, 
 when I am like one dead, raifes me to life. O that 
 I may never diftruii infinite goodnefs. 
 
 Wcdnefday, yiprili^. — My foul longed for commu- 
 nion with Chriit, and for the mortification of in- 
 dwelling corruption, efpecially fpiritual pride. O 
 there is a fweet day coming, wherein the wcaiy will 
 be at reft. My foul has enjo}'ed much fweetnefs this 
 day in. hopes of its fpeedy arrival. 
 
 Thur/day, April 1 5 . — My defires apparently center- 
 ed in God, and I found a fenfible attraction of foul 
 after him, fundry times to day : I know I long for 
 God, and a conformity to his will, in inward purity 
 and holinefs, ten thoufand times more than lor any- 
 thing here below. 
 
 Friday and Saturday , April 16, 17. — Seldom prayed . 
 without feme fenfible fweetnefs and joy in the Lord. 
 Sometimes I longed much to be dijfohedand to be with 
 Chrifi. O that God would enable me to grozv in 
 grace every day. Alas ! my barrennefs is inch, that 
 God might well fay, Cut it down. I am afraid of a 
 dead heart on the Sabbath now begun,; O that God 
 would quicken me by his grace. 
 
 Lord's Day, April ;8. — Retired early tJ :rn- 
 
 ing into the woods for prayer ; had the aililbnce of 
 God's Spirit, and faith m exercifc, and was enafrl 
 to plead with fervency for the advancement of 
 Chriil's kingdom in the world, and to intercede fcr 
 dear abfent friends-. At noon, God enabled me to 
 
 wreilic 
 
43 The LIFE of 
 
 wreflle with him, and feel (as I fruit.) the power of 
 divine love in prayer. At night, favv my f elf infi- 
 nitely indebted to God, and had a view of my ihort 
 comings : It feemed to me, that I had done as it 
 were nothing for God, and that I never had lived to 
 him but a few hours of my life. 
 
 Monday , April 19. — I fet apart this day for faffing 
 and prayer to God for his grace, efpecially to pre- 
 pare me for the work of the miniflry, to give me di- 
 vine aid and direction in my preparations for that 
 great work, and in his own time to fend me into his 
 harvejt. Accordingly, in the morning, endeavoured 
 to plead for the divine prefence for the day, and not 
 without fome life. In the forenoon, I felt a pow- 
 er of interceffion for precious immortal fouls, for the 
 advancement of the kingdom of my dear Lord and 
 Saviour in the world j and withal, a moft fvveet re- 
 iignation, and even confolation and joy in the 
 thoughts of fuffering hardfhips, diftreffes, and even 
 death itfelf, in the promotion of it ; and had fpecial 
 enlargement in pleading for the enlightening and 
 conversion of the poor heathen. In the afternoon, 
 God was with me of a truth. O it was bleffed compa- 
 ny indeed ! God enabled me fo to agonize in prayer, 
 that I was quite wet with fvveat, though in the fhade, 
 and the wind cool. My foul was drawn out very 
 much from the world ; I grafped for multitudes of 
 fouls. I think I had more enlargement for finners, 
 than for the children of God ; though I felt as if I 
 could fpend my life in cries for both. I enjoyed 
 great fweetnefs in communion with my dear Saviour. 
 I think I never in my life felt fuch an entire wean- 
 ednefs from this world, and {o much refigned to 
 God in every thing. O that I may always live to 
 and upon my blefTed God. Amen, Amen. 
 
 Tuefday, April 20. — This day I am twenty four 
 years of age. O how much mercy have I received the 
 
 year 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 43 
 
 year paft .! How often has God caufcd his gvcdnefo, to 
 pajs before me I And how poorly have. I anfwered the 
 vows Lmade this time twelve months, to be wholly 
 the Lord's, to be forever devoted to .-his fervice ! 
 The Lord help me to live more to his glory for time 
 to come. This has been a fweet, a happy day to 
 me : -BleiTed be God. I think my foul was never 
 fa drawn out in mterceflion for others, as it has been 
 this night. -Had a mod fervent wreflle with the 
 Lord to night for my enemies ; ar.d 1 hardly ever i'o 
 longed to live to God, and to be altogether devoted 
 to him ; I wanted to wear out my life in his ferviee 
 and for his glory. 
 
 Wednefday, April 21 . — Felt much calmnefs and re- 
 iignation, and God again enabled me to wreftie for 
 numbers of fouls, and had much fervency m the 
 fweet duty of interceffion. I enjoy or. late more 
 fweetnefs in interceiiion for others, than in any other 
 part of prayer. My blciied Lord really let me come 
 near to him y and plead with him. 
 
 [The frame of mind, and exercifes of foul, that 
 he exprelTes the three days next following, Thurf- 
 day, Friday, and Saturdays are much of the lame 
 kind with thofe expreffed the two days pall.] 
 
 Lord's Day, April 2$. — This morning fpe.nt about 
 two hours in feeret duties, and was enabled more 
 than ordinarily to agonize for immortal fouls ; 
 though it was early in the morning, and the fun 
 fcarcely fhined at all, yet my body was quite vyet 
 with fweat. Felt much prelfed now, as frequently 
 of late, to plead for the meeknefs and calmnefs of 
 Lamb of God m my foul : Through divine goodnefs 
 felt much of it this morning. O it is a fweet dtfpo» 
 fition, heartily to forgive all injuries done to us ; to 
 vv » [li our greater! enemies as well as we do our own 
 fouls ! Blefied Jefus, may I daily be more and more 
 conformed to thee. At night was exceedingly mehed 
 
 with 
 
44 The LIFE 01 
 
 with divine love, and had fome feeling fenfe of the 
 bleffednefs of the upper world. Thole words hung 
 upon me, with much divine fwectnefs, Pfal. lxxxiv. 
 7. They go from fir ength tofirength, every one of them 
 in Zion appeareth be/ore God. O the nearaccefs that 
 God fometimes gives us in our addreffes to him ! 
 This may well be termed appearing before God: It is 
 io indeed in the true fpiritual fenfe, and in the fweet- 
 eil fenfe. I think I have not had fuch power of in- 
 terceihon, thefe many months, both for God's chil- 
 dren, and for dead finners, as I have had this even- 
 ing, I vvifhed and longed for the coming of my dear 
 Lord : I longed tojoin the angelick hofts in praifes, 
 xvholly free from im perfection. O the bleffed mo- 
 ment haftens ! All I want is to be more holy, more 
 like my dear Lord. O for fancci fixation ! My very 
 foul pants for the complete reftoration of the bleffed 
 image of my fwect Saviour ; that I may be fit for 
 the bleffed enjoyments and employments of the 
 heavenly world . 
 
 Farewell, vain world ; my foul can bid adieu : 
 My Saviour 's taught me to abandon you. 
 Your charms may gratify a fenfual mind ; 
 Not pleafe a foul wholly for God defign'd. 
 Forbear t' entice, csafe then my foul to call : 
 'Tis fix'd, through grace ; my God fhall be my alt. 
 While he thus lets me heavenly glories view, 
 Your beauties fade, my heart 's no room for you. 
 
 The Lord refrefhed my foul with many fvveet 
 paffages of his word. O the New 'Jerufalem ! my 
 foul longed for it. O the Jong of'Mofes and the Lamb ! 
 And that bleffed long, that no man can learn, but 
 they that are redeemed from the earth ! And the glo- 
 rious white robes , that were given to the fouls under 
 the altar ! 
 
 Lord, I'm a llrangerhere alone; 
 Earth no true comforts can afford : 
 Yet, abfent irom my deareft one, 
 My foul delights to cry, My Lord i 
 
 Jcfus 
 
Mr. DAVID B R A I N E R D. 45 
 
 Jefus, my. Lord, my only love, 
 Foffd's my ibul, nor thence depart : 
 Grant me kind vifits, heavenly dove ; 
 My God (hall then have all my heart. 
 
 Monday, Apri/26. — Continued in a fvveet frame of 
 mind ; but in the afternoon felt fomething of fpirit- 
 ual pride furring. God was pleafed to make it a 
 humbling feafon at firll ; though afterwards he gave 
 me fweetnefs. O, my foul exceedingly longs for 
 that bleffed Mate of perfection of deliverance from 
 all fin ! At night, God enabled me to give my foul 
 up to him, to cad my (elf upon him, to be ordered 
 and difpofed of according to his fovereign pleafure ; 
 and I enjoyed great peace and confolation in i^o do- 
 ing. My foul took fvveet delight in God to night : 
 My thoughts freely and fweetly centered in him. 
 O that I could fpend every moment of my life to 
 his glory. 
 
 Tuejday, April Z^. — Retired pretty early for fecret 
 devotions ; and in prayer God was pleafed to pour 
 fuch ineffable comforts into my foul, that I could do 
 nothing for fome time but fay over and over, O my 
 tweet Saviour ! O my fvveet Saviour [ Whom have I in 
 heaven, but thee? and there is none upon earth, that I 
 dejire bcfide thee. If I had had a thou (and lives, my foul 
 would gladly have laid them all down at once, to have 
 been with Chrift. My foul never enjoyed fo much of 
 heaven before ; it was the moft. refined and mofr fpirit- 
 ual feafon of communion with God I ever yet felt : I 
 never felt fo great a degree of refignation in my 
 life : I felt very fweetly all the forenoon. In the af- 
 ternoon I withdrew to meet with my God, but found 
 myfelf much declined, and God made it a hum- 
 bling feafon to my foul : I mourned over the body of 
 death, that is in me: It grieved me exceedingly, 
 that I could not pray to and praifc God with mv 
 heart full of divine heavenly love. O that my foul 
 might never offer any dead cold fervices to my God. 
 
 In 
 
46 The L I F £ op 
 
 In the evening bad not fo much fweet divine love as ifl 
 the morning ; but had a fweet feafon of fervent inter- 
 cefnon. 
 
 IVednefday, -Apfffffi* — Withdrew to myufual place 
 of retirement in great peace and tranquillity, and 
 fpent about two hours in fecret duties. I felt much, 
 as I did yeflerday morning, only weaker and more 
 overcome. I feemed to hang and depend wholly on 
 my dear Lord : wholly weaned from all other de- 
 pendences. I knew not what to fay to my God, but 
 only lean on his bo fan: , as it were, and breath out my 
 defines after a perfect conformity to him in all things. 
 Thiriiing deiires and infatiable longings pofTeilcd 
 my foul,, after perfect holinefs : God was fo pre- 
 cious to my fcul, that the World with all its enjoy- 
 rit's was infinitely vile : I had no more value for 
 the favour of men, than for pebbles : The Lord 
 was my all ; and he overruled all ; which greatly 
 delighted me. I think my faith and dependence 
 on G.odfcarce ever rofe fo high. I faw him fuch a 
 fountain" of goodnefs, that it feemed impoilible I 
 mould ' diftruft him again, or be any. way anxious 
 about any thing that fhould happen* to me. I now 
 enjoyed great fweetnefs in praying forabfent friends, 
 and for the enlargement of ChriiVs kingdom in the 
 world. Much of the power of thefe divine ehjoy r 
 ments remained with me through the day. In the 
 evening my heart feemed fweetly to melt, and, I truft, 
 was really humbled for indwelling corruption, and 
 I mourned like a dove. 1 felt that all my unhappinefs 
 arofe from my being a iinner : for with resignation 
 I could bid welcome all other trials • but fin hung 
 heavy upon me ; for God difcovered to me the cor- 
 ruption of my heart : So that I went to bed with a 
 heavy heart, becaufe I was a {inner;" though 1 did 
 not in tlie leait doubt of God's love. O that God 
 would purge away my drofs, raid take away., my tin, 
 and make me {"even times refined. 
 
 T&urfday, 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 47 
 
 Thurfday, April 29. — Was kept off at a diftance 
 from God ; but had fom.e enlargement in interceilion 
 for precious fouls. 
 
 Friday, April ^o. — Was fomething dejected inspir- 
 it : Nothing grieves me fo much, as that I cannot 
 live conflantly to God's glory. I could bear any de- 
 fertion or fpiritual conflicts, if I could but have my 
 heart all the while burning within the with love to 
 God and defires of his glory : But this is impofiible ; 
 for when I feel thefe, I cannot be dejected in my 
 foul, but only rejoice in my Saviour, who has deliv- 
 ered me from the reigning power, and will fhortly 
 deliver me from the indwelling of fin. 
 
 Saturday, May 1 . — Was enabled to cry to God with 
 fervency for minifterial qualifications, and that God 
 would appear for the advancement of his own king- 
 dom, and that he would bring in the heathen world, 
 &c. Had much afiiflance in my ftudies. This has 
 been a profitable week to me ; I have enjoyed many 
 communications of the blefTed Spirit in my foul. 
 
 Lord's Day, May 2. — God was pleafed this morn- 
 ing to give me fuch a fight of my (elf, as made me 
 appear very vile in my own eyes : I felt corruption 
 flirring in my heart, which I could by no means fup- 
 prefs ; felt more and more deferred ; was exceeding 
 weak, and aUnoft fick with my inward trials. 
 
 Monday, May 3. — Had a fenfe of vile ingratitude. 
 In the morning I withdrew to my ufual place of re- 
 tirement, and mourned for my abufe of my dear 
 Lord : Spent the day in failing and prayer : God 
 gave me much power of wrejftling for his caufe and 
 kingdom : And it was a happy day to my foul. 
 God was with me all the day, and I was more above 
 the world than ever in my life. 
 
 [Through the remaining part of this week, he 
 complains almoft c\cry day oj defertion and inward 
 trials and conflicts, attended with dejection of fpirit ; 
 
48 T he LIFE o * 
 
 but yet fpeaks of times of relief and fvveetnefs, and 
 daily refreshing viiits of the Divine Spirit, affording 
 fpecial ailiftanccand comfort, and enabling, at fome 
 times, to much fervency and enlargement in relig- 
 ious duties.] 
 
 Lord's Day, May 9. — I think I never felt i'o much 
 of the curfed pride of my heart, as well as the ftub- 
 bornnefs of my will before. O dreadful ! what a 
 vile wretch I am ! I could not fubmit to be nothing, 
 and to lie down in the duft! O that God would 
 humble me in the dull:. I felt myfelf fuch a (inner, 
 all day, that I had fcarce any comfort. Oh, when 
 ill all I be delivered from the body of this death ! I 
 greatly feared, left through ftupidity and careleffnefs 
 I mould loie the benefit of thefe trials. O that they 
 might be fanctified to my foul. Nothing feemed to 
 touch me but only this, that I was a finner. Had fer- 
 vency and refrefhrnent in focial prayer in the evening. 
 
 Monday, May 1 0. — Rode to New-Haven ; faw fome 
 chriftian friends there ; had comfort in joining in 
 prayer with them, and hearing of the goodneis of 
 God to them lince I laft faw them. 
 
 Tuefday, May 11. — -Rode from New-Haven to 
 Weathersfield ; was very dull moft of the day ; 
 had little fpirituality in this journey, though I often 
 longed to be alone with God • was much perplexed 
 with vile thoughts ; was fometimes afraid of every 
 thing : But God was my helper. Catched a little 
 time for retirement in the evening, to my comfort 
 and rejoicing. Alas, I cannot live in the midit of 
 a tumult ! I long to enjoy God alone. 
 
 Wedr.efjay, May 1 2. — Had a diftrefting view of the 
 pride and enmity and vilenefs of my heart. After- 
 wards had fweet rcfrefhment in converting, and wor- 
 shipping God, with chriftian friends. 
 
 Tburfday,May 13. — Saw fo much of the wicked- 
 nei's of my heart, that I longed to get away from 
 
 myfelf. 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD, 49 
 
 myfelf. I never before thought, there was fo much 
 I'piritual pride in my foul : 1 felt alrnofr, preiTed to 
 death with my own vilenefs. O, what a body of 
 death is there in me ! Lord, deliver my foul, I could 
 not find any convenient place for retirement, and was 
 greatly exercifed. Rode to Hartford in the after- 
 noon : Had fome refreshment and comfort in relig- 
 ious exercifes with chriftian friends ; but longed for 
 more retirement. O the clofeff, walk with God is 
 the f weeteft heaven, that can be enjoyed on earth ! 
 
 Friday, May 14. — Waited on a council of minifters 
 convened at Hartford, and fpread before them the 
 treatment I had met with from the rector and tutors 
 of Yale College ) who thought it advifable to inter- 
 cede for me with the rector and trufrees, and to en- 
 treat them to reftore me to my former privileges in col- 
 lege*. After this, fpent fome time in religious ex- 
 ercifes with chriftian friends. 
 
 Saturday, May 1 c. — Rode from Hartford to Hebron ; 
 was fomething dejected on the road ; appeared ex- 
 ceeding vile in my own eyes ; faw much pride and 
 frubbornnefs in my heart. Indeed I never law fuch 
 a week before, as this ; for I have been almoft ready 
 to die with the view of the wickednefs of my heart. 
 I could not have thought I had fuch a body of death in 
 me. O that God would deliver my foul, 
 
 [The three next days, which he fpent at Hebron, 
 Lebanon, and Norwich, he complains frili of dul- 
 nefs and defertion, and exprelTes a fenfe of his vile- 
 nefs, and longing to hide himfelf in fome cave 
 or den of the earth : But yet Ipeaks of fome inter- 
 vals of comfort and foul refreshment each day.] 
 
 Wednefday Jvlay 19. — [AtMillington] 1 was fo amaz- 
 ingly deferted this morning, that I feemed to fed a 
 fort of horror in my foul. Alas, when God withdraws, 
 what is there that can afford any comfort to the foul ! 
 
 D [Through 
 
 * The application vtVcb was the» made rn his be'rialf, had not the ctefired fusccfi. 
 
50 The LIFE of 
 
 [Through the eight days next following, he ex- 
 prefTes more calmnefs and comfort, and confidera- 
 ble life, fervency and fweetnefs in religion.] 
 
 Friday , May2&, — [AtNevv-Haven] I think, Ifcarce 
 ever felt fo calm in my life ; I rejoiced in refignation, 
 and giving myfelf up to God, to be wholly and en- 
 tirely devoted to him forever. 
 
 [On the three following days, there was, by the 
 account he gives, a continuance of the fame excel- 
 lent frame of mind, laff. expreffed : But it feems not 
 to be altogether to fo great a degree.] 
 
 Tuefday^une i . — Had much of the prefenceof God 
 in family prayer, and had fome comfort in fecret. 
 I was greatly refrefhed from the word of God this 
 morning, which appeared exceeding fweet to me : 
 Some things that appeared myfterious, were opened 
 to me. O that the kingdom of the dear Saviour 
 might come with power, and the healing waters of 
 the fanftuaty fpread far and wide for the healing of 
 the nations. Came to Ripton ; but was very weak : 
 However, being vifited by a number of young peo- 
 ple in the evening, I prayed with them. 
 
 [The remaining part of this week, he fpeaks of be- 
 ing much diverted and hindered in the bufinefs of relig- 
 ion, by great weaknefs of body, and necefTary affairs, 
 that he had to attend, and complains of having but 
 little power in religion ; but fignifies, that God here- 
 by ihewed him, he was like a helplefs infant caftout 
 in the open field.] 
 
 Lord's day, June 6. — I feel much deferted : But all 
 this teaches me my nothingnefs and vilenefs more 
 than ever. 
 
 Mo/?Jay,Ju?ir7. — Felt fr.il! powerlefs in fecret pray- 
 er. Afterwards I prayed, and converfed, with fome 
 little life. God feeds me with crumbs : BleiTed be 
 his name for any thing. I felt a great defire, that 
 all God's people might knew how mean and little 
 
 arid 
 
Mr. DAVID BR A I NERD. 51 
 
 and vile I am ; that they might fee I am nothing, 
 that i'o they may pray for me aright, and not have 
 the leaft dependence upon me. 
 
 Tuefday, June 8. — I enjoyed one fweet and precious 
 feafon this day : I never felt it fo fweet to be nothing, 
 and lefs than nothing, and to be accounted nothing. 
 
 [The three next days he complains ofdefertion, 
 and want of fervency in religion j but yet his Diary 
 fhews that every day his heart was engaged in relig- 
 ion, as his great and as it were only bulinefs.] 
 
 Saturday , June 12. — Spent much time in prayer, 
 this morning, and enjoyed much fweetnefs : Feltin- 
 fatiable longings after God, much of the day : I 
 wondered how poor fouls do to live, that have nd 
 God. The world, with all its enjoyments, quite van- 
 ished. I fee myfelf very helplcfs : But I have a bleif- 
 ed God to go to. I longed exceedingly to bedijfohed, 
 and to be with Cbrijl, to behold bis glory. O, my weak 
 weary foul longs to arrive at my Father's houfe. 
 
 Lord's JDay, jimeiT,. — Felt fomethingcalm and re- 
 figned in the publick worfliip : At the facfament faw 
 myfelf very vile and worthtefs. O that I may always 
 lie low in the dull. My foul feemed lieadily to go 
 forth after God, in longing defires to live upon him Q 
 
 Monday, June 14. — Felt fomething of the fweetnefs 
 of communion with GjJ, and the conftraining force 
 of his love : How admirably it captivates the foul, 
 and makes all the defires and affeclions to center in 
 God ! I fet apart this day for fecret fading and pray- 
 er, to entreat God to direct and blefs me with regard 
 to the great work I have in view, of preaching the 
 gofpel ; and that the Lord would- return to me and 
 Jhew me the light of his countenance. Had little life 
 and power in the forenoon : Near the middle of the 
 afternoon, God enabled me to wreftle ardently in inu 
 terceffion for abfent friends : But juft at night, the 
 Lord vifited me marvelloufly in prayer ; I think 
 D % my 
 
52 The LIFE op 
 
 my foul never was in fuch an agony before : I felt 
 no reftraint; for the treafures of divine grace were 
 opened to me. I wreftled for abfent friends, for 
 the ingathering of fouls, for multitudes of poor fouls, 
 and for many that I thought were the children of 
 God, perfonally, in many diftant places. I was 
 in fuch an agony, from fun half an hour high, until 
 near dark, that I was all over wet with fweat ; but 
 yet it feemed to me that I had wafted away the day, 
 and had done nothing. O, my dear Jefus did fweat 
 blood for poor fouls ! I long for more companion 
 towards them. Felt ftill in a fweet frame, under a 
 fenfe of divine love and grace; and went to bed in 
 fuch a frame, with my heart fet on God. 
 
 Tuefday, June 15. — Had the moil ardent longings 
 after God, that ever I felt in my life : At noon, in 
 my fecret retirement, I could do nothing but tell my 
 dear Lord, in a fweet calm, that he knew I longed 
 for nothing but himfelf, nothing but holinefs ; that 
 he had given me thefe defires, and he only could 
 give me the thing defired. I never feemed to be fo 
 unhinged from myfelf, and to be fo wholly devot- 
 ed to God. My heart was fwallowed up in God, 
 molt of the day. In the evening I had fuch a view 
 of the foul's being as it were enlarged, to contain 
 more holinefs, that my foul feemed ready to fepa- 
 rate from my body and ftrctch to obtain it. I then 
 wreftled in an agony for divine bleftings ; had my 
 heart drawn out in prayer for fome chriftian friends, 
 beyond what I ever had before. I feel differently 
 now from what ever 1 did under any fweet enjoy- 
 ments before, more engaged to live to God forever, 
 and Icfs pleafed with my own frames : I am not i'at- 
 isfied with my frames, nor feel at all more eafy af- 
 ter fuch fweet ftrugglings than before; for it feems 
 far too little, if I could always be fo. O, how lliort 
 do I fall of my duty in my fweeteit moments ! 
 
 [In 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD, 53 
 
 [In his Diary for the two next days, he exprelTes 
 fomething of the fame frame, but in a far lefs degree*.] 
 
 Friday, June 18.— Confidering my great unfitnefs 
 for the work of the miniftry, my prefent deadnefs, 
 and total inability to do any thing for the glory of God 
 that way, feeling myfelf very helplefs, and at a great 
 lofs what the Lord would have me to do, I fet apart 
 this day for prayer to God, and fpent mod of the 
 day in that duty ; but amazingly deferred, moft of 
 the day : Yet I found God gracioufly near, once in 
 particular, while I was pleading for more compaf- 
 lion for immortal fouls ; my heart feemed to be open- 
 ed at once, and I was enabled to cry with great ar- 
 dency, for a few minutes. O, I was diftreiTed, to 
 think, that I mould offer fuch dead cold fervices to 
 the living God ! My foul feemed to breathe after 
 holinefs, a life of conftant devotednefs to God. But 
 I am almoft loft fomecimes in the purfuit of this 
 bleffednefs, and ready to fink, becaufe 1 continually 
 fall ihort and mifs of my defire. O that the Lord 
 would help me to hold out, yet a little while, until 
 the happy hour of deliverance comes. 
 
 Lord's Day, June 20. — Spent much time alone. 
 My foul longed to be holy, and reached after God ; 
 but feemed not to obtain my defire : I hungered and 
 thirited ; but was not fweetly refrefhed and fatisfi- 
 ed. My foul hung on God, as my only portion. O 
 that I could groza in grace more abundantly every day. 
 
 [The next day he fpeaks of his having afiiftance in 
 his fludies, and power, fervency and comfort in 
 prayer.] 
 
 Tucfday,June 22. — In the morning, fpent about two 
 hours in prayer and meditation, with confiderable 
 delight. Towards nightj felt my foul go out in long- 
 D 3 ing 
 
 * Mere end the 33 firfl pages of the third volume of his Diary, which he Ipcaks of 
 in the beginning of this volume f,is was obferved before! is containing a fpromen of 
 bis ordinary manner of living, through the whole fpace oi tiinc, from the begiuninj 
 of thole two volumes that were dcftroved. 
 
54 The LIFE of 
 
 ing defires after God, in fecret retirement. In the 
 evening, was fweetly compofed and refigned to 
 God's will ; was enabled to leave myfelf and all my 
 concerns with him, and to have my whole depend- 
 ence upon him : My fecret retirement was very re- 
 frefhingto my foul: It appeared fuchahappinefs to 
 have God for my portion, that I had rather be any 
 other creature in this lower creation, than not come 
 to the enjoyment of God : I had rather be a beaft, 
 than a man, without God, if I were to live here to 
 eternity* Lord, endear thyfelf more to me, 
 
 [In his Diary for the next feven days,' heexprefTes 
 a variety of exercifes of mind : He fpeaks of great 
 longings after God and holinefs, and earned defires 
 for the converfion of others, of fervency in prayer, 
 and power to wreftle with God, and of compofure, 
 comfort and fweetnefs, from time to time; but ex- 
 prelfes a fenfe of the vile abomination of his heart, 
 and bitterly complains of his barrennefs, and the 
 preffing body of death ; and fays, he faw clearly that 
 whatever he enjoyed better than hell, was free grace.] 
 
 Wednefday, June $p. — Spent this day alone in the 
 woods, in failing and prayer; underwent the moll: 
 dreadful conflicts in my foul, that ever I felt, in fome 
 refpects : I faw myfelf fo vile, that I was ready to 
 fay , IJhall now perijh by the hand of Saul. 1 1 h ou g h t , 
 and almoft concluded, I had no power to iland for 
 the caufe of God, but was almofl afraid of the /bak- 
 ing of a leaf Spent almoft the whole day in prayer, 
 incelTantly. I could not bear to think of chrillians* 
 ihewing me any refpect. I almoft defpaired of do- 
 ing any fervice in the world. I could not feci any 
 hope or comfort refpecting the heathen, which ufed 
 to afford me fome refrefhment in the darkeft hours 
 of this nature. I fpent away the day in the bitter-* 
 nefs of my foul. Near night I felt a little better, and 
 afterwards enjoyed fome fweetnefs in fecret prayer, 
 
 Tburfday, 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAIN ERD. 55 
 
 Thurfday, "July 1 . — Had fome fweetnefs in prayer 
 this morning. Felt exceeding fweetly in fecret 
 prayer to night, and defired nothing Co ardently as 
 that God mould do with me juft as he pleafed. 
 
 Friday, July 2. — Felt compofed in fecret prayer, 
 in the morning. My defires fweetly afcended to God 
 this day, as I was travelling : And was comfortable in 
 the evening. BlefTed be God for all my confolations. 
 
 Lord's Day, July 4. — Had considerable afliftance. 
 In the evening, I withdrew and enjoyed a happy 
 feafon in fecret prayer : God was pleafed to give 
 me the exercife of faith, and thereby brought the in- 
 vifible and eternal world near to my foul ; which 
 appeared fweetly to me. I hoped, that my weary 
 pilgrimage in the world would be fhort, and that 
 it would not be long before I was brought to my 
 heavenly home and Father's houfe : I was fweetly 
 refigned to God's will, to tarry his time, to do his 
 work, and fuffer his pleafure. I felt thankfulnefs 
 to God for all my prefling defertions of late ; for I 
 am perfuaded they have been made a means of mak- 
 ing me more humble, and much more refigned. I 
 felt pleafed, to be little, to be nothing, and to lie in 
 the dujl. I enjoyed life and fvvect confolation in 
 pleading for the dear children of God, and the king- 
 dom of Chrifr. ill the world : And my foul earneftly 
 breathed after holinefs and the enjoyment of God. 
 O, come Lord Jefus ! come quickly. Amen. 
 
 [By his Diary for the remaining days of this week, 
 it appears that he enjoyed considerable compofure 
 and tranquillity, and had fweetnefs and fervency of 
 fpirit in prayer, from day to day.] 
 
 [The eight next days, he expreiTes confiderable 
 comfort and fervency of fpirit in chriftian converfa- 
 tion and religious exercifes.] 
 
 Monday, July 19. — My defires feem efpecially to 
 be carried out after weanednefs from the world, per- 
 
 D4 fca 
 
j6 The LIFE of 
 
 fed deadnefs to it, and to be even crucified to all its 
 allurements. My foul longs to feel itfelf more of 
 a pilgrim and {hanger here below ; that nothing 
 may divert me from preiling through the lonely def- 
 ert, until I arrive at my Father's houfe. 
 
 Tuefday, July 20.— It was fweet, to give away 
 myfelf to God, to bedifpofed of at his pleafure ; and 
 had fome feeling fenfe of the fweetnefs of being a 
 pilgrim on earth. 
 
 [The next day, he expreifes himfelf as determin- 
 ed to be wholly devoted to God ; and it appears by 
 his Diary, that he fpent the whole day in a moft dili- 
 gent exercifeof religion, and exceedingcomfortably.] 
 
 Ibwfday, 'July 22. — Journeying from Southbury 
 to Ripton, called at a houfe by the way, where be- 
 ing very kindly entertained and refrefhed, I was fill- 
 ed with amazement and mame,that God mould flir up 
 the hearts of any to fhew fo much kindnefs to fucha 
 dcaddogas I ; was made fenfible, in fome meafure, how 
 
 exceeding vile it is, not to be wholly devoted to God. 
 I wondered that God would fuffer any of his crea- 
 tures to feed and fuftain me, from time to time. 
 
 [In his Diary for the fix next days, are expreffed 
 various exercifes and experiences, fuch as fweet com- 
 poiure and fervency of fpirit in meditation and pray- 
 er, weanednefs from the world, being fenfibly a pil- 
 grim and flranger on the earth, engagednefs of mind 
 to fpend every inch of time for God, &c] 
 
 Tburfday, July 29. — Was examined by the alToci- 
 ation met at Danbury, as to my learning, and alfo 
 my experiences in religion, and received a licenfe 
 from them to preach the gofpel of Chriit. After- 
 wards felt much devoted to God ; joined in prayer 
 with one of the miniflers, my peculiar friend, in a 
 convenient place ; went to bed refolving to live de- 
 voted to God all my days. 
 
 PART 
 
Mr. DAVID BR A I NERD. 57 
 PA R T III. 
 
 From the time of his being licenfed to preach, by the 
 Ajfociation, until he was examined in Newyork, by 
 the Correfpondents'or Commiffioners of the Society in 
 Scotland for propagating Chriftian Knowledge, and 
 approved and appointed as their Missionary to 
 the I n d 1 a n s . 
 
 FRIDAY, July 30, 1742.— Rode from Danbury to 
 Southbury ; preached there from 1 Pet. iv. 8. 
 Had much of the comfortable prefence of God in 
 the exercife : I feemed to have power with God in 
 prayer, and power to get hold of the hearts of the 
 people in preaching. 
 
 Saturday , July 31. — Exceeding calm and compof- 
 ed, and was greatly refrefhed and encouraged. 
 
 [It appears by his Diary, that he continued in this 
 fweetnefs and tranquillity, almofi through the whole 
 of the next week.] 
 
 Lord*s Day, Augifl 8. — In the morning felt com?- 
 fortably in fecret prayer ; my foul was refrefhed with 
 the hopes of the heathen's coming home to Chrift ; 
 was much refigned to God ; I thought it was no mat- 
 ter what became of me. Preached both parts of the 
 day at Bethlehem, from Job xiv. 14. It was fweet 
 to me to meditate on death. In the evening, felt 
 very comfortably, and cried to God fervently, in fe- 
 cret prayer. 
 
 Thurfjay, Augufl 12. — Thismorning and laft night 
 was exercifed with fore inward trials : I had no pow- 
 er to pray ; but feemed mut out from God. I had 
 in a great meafure loft my hopes of God's fending 
 me among the heathen afar off, and of feeing them 
 
 ■ flock 
 
$8 The LIFE of 
 
 flock home to Chrift. I faw fo much of my hellifh 
 vilenefs, that I appeared worfe to myfelf, than any 
 devil : I wondered that God would let me live, and 
 wondered that people did not ftone me, much more, 
 that they would ever hear me preach ! It feemed 
 as though I never could nor mould preach any 
 more ; yet about nine or ten o'clock, the people came 
 over, and I was forced to preach : And blefTed be 
 God, he gave me his prefence and fpirit in prayer 
 and preaching : So that I was much affifted, and 
 fpake with power from Job xiv. 14. Some Indians 
 cried out in great diflrefs*, and all appeared greatly 
 concerned. After we had prayed and exhorted them 
 to feek the Lord with conftancy, and hired an En- 
 glifh. woman to keep a kind of fchool among them, 
 we came away about one o'clock, and came to Ju- 
 dea, about fifteen or fixteen miles. There God was 
 pleafed to vifit my foul with much comfort. BlefT- 
 ed be the Lord for all things I meet with. 
 
 [It appears, that the two next days he had much 
 comfort, and had his heart much engaged in religion.] 
 
 Lord's Day > Augufl 13. — Felt much comfort and 
 devotednefs to God this day. At night, it was refrem- 
 ing, to get alone with God and pour out my foul. O 
 who can conceive of the fweetnefs of communion 
 with the blefTed God, but thofe that have experience 
 of it ! Glory to God forever, that I may tafte heav- 
 en below. 
 
 Monday y Augufl 16. — Had fome comfort in fecret 
 prayer, in the morning. Felt fweetly fundry times 
 in prayer this day : But was much perplexed in the 
 evening with vain converfation. 
 
 Tuefday, Augufl 17. — Exceedingly deprerTed in 
 fpirit. It cuts and wounds my heart, to think how 
 much felf exaltation, fpiritual pride, and warmth of 
 
 temper, 
 
 * It was in a place near Kent, in the weitcrn borders of Connecticut, where there 
 was a number of Indians. 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 5 g 
 
 temper, J have formerly had intermingled with my 
 endeavours to promote God's work : And fometimes 
 I long to lie down at the feet of oppofers, and con- 
 fefs what a poor imperfect creature I have been and. 
 jTtill am. O, the Lord forgive me, and make me for 
 the future wife as aferpent, and harmlefs as a dove. 
 Afterwards enjoyed confiderable comfort and delight 
 of foul. 
 
 Wednefday, Augufl 18. — Spent moft of this day in 
 prayer and reading. I fee fo much of my own ex- 
 treme vilenefs, that I feel afhamed and guilty before 
 God and man : I look to myfelf, like the vilefr. fel- 
 low in the land : I wonder, that God ftirs up his peo- 
 ple to be fo kind to me. 
 
 Thurfday, Augujl 19. — This day, being about to 
 go from Mr. Bellamy's at Bethlehem, where I had 
 redded fome time, prayed with him, and two or 
 three Other chriftian friends, and gave ourfelves to 
 God with all our hearts, to be his forever. Eternity 
 looked very near to me, while I was praying. If I 
 never mould fee thefe chriftians again in this world 
 it feemed but a few moments before I fliould meet 
 them in another world. Parted with them fweetly. 
 
 Friday, Augufl 20. — I appeared fo vile to myfelf, 
 that I hardly dared to think of being feen, efpecially 
 on account of fpiritual pride. However, tonight, I 
 enjoyed a fweet hour alone with God [at Ripton.] I 
 was lifted above the frowns and flatteries of this low- 
 er world, had a fweet relifli of heavenly joys, and 
 my foul did, as it were get into the eternal world, and 
 really tafte of heaven. I had a fweet feafon of inter- 
 ceffion for dear friends in Chrifr ; and God helped 
 me to cry fervently for Zion. Blefled be God for 
 this feafon. 
 Monday, Augufl 23. — Had a fweet feafon in fecret 
 prayer : The Lord drew near to my foul, and filled 
 rne with peace and divine confolation. O, my foul 
 
 tailed 
 
6o TheLIFEof 
 
 tailed the fweetnefs of the upper world ; and was 
 fweetly drawn out in prayer for the world, that it 
 might come home to Chrift ! Had much comfort in 
 the thoughts and hopes ofthe ingathering of the hea- 
 then ; and was greatly afiifted in interceiTion for 
 chriftian friends. 
 
 [He continued frill in the fame frame of mind the 
 next day, but in a lefTer degree.] 
 
 Wednefday, Augufi 2$. — In family prayer, God 
 helped me to climb up near him, lb that I fcarce ever 
 got nearer. 
 
 Monday, Augufi 30. — Felt fomething comfortably 
 in the morning ; converfed fweetly with fome friends ; 
 was in a ferious compofed frame ; prayed at a certain 
 houfe with fome degree of fweetnefs. Afterwards, 
 at another houfe, prayed privately with a dear chrif- 
 tian friend or two ; and I think I fcarce ever launch- 
 ed fo far into the eternal world, asthen ; I got fo far 
 out on the broad ocean, that my foul with joy tri- 
 umphed over all the evils on the mores of mortality. 
 I think time and all its gay amufements and cruel 
 difappointments, never appeared foinconfiderableto 
 me before : I was in a fweet frame ; I faw myfelf 
 nothing, and my foul reached after God with intenfe 
 defire. O ! i faw what I owed to God, in fuch a 
 manner, as I fcarce ever did : I knew, I had never lived 
 a moment to him, as I mould do : Indeed it appear- 
 ed to me, I had never done any thing in chriftianity : 
 My foul longed with a vehement defire to live to God. 
 In the evening, fung and prayed with a number of 
 chriftians : Felt the powers of the world to come, in 
 my foul, in prayer. Afterwards prayed again pri- 
 vately, with a dear chrifHan or two, and found the 
 prefence of God ; was fomething humbled in my fe- 
 cret retirement ; felt my ingratitude, becaufe I was 
 not wholly fwallowed up in God. 
 
 [He was in a fweet frame great part of the next day.] 
 
 IVcdncfday^ 
 
Mr. DAVID B R A I N E R D. 6t 
 
 Wednefday, September i .—Went to Judea, to the 
 ordination of Mr. Judd. Dear Mr. Bellamy preach- 
 ed from Matth. xxiv. 46. Blejfed is that fir-van t 9 
 Qfrr. I felt very folemn, and very fweetly, m oft of 
 the time ; had my thoughts much on that time when 
 our Lord will come ; that time refrefhed my foul 
 much ; only I was afraid, I mould not be found 
 faithful, becaufe I have fo vilea heart. My thoughts 
 were much in eternity, where I love to dwell. Bleff- 
 ed be God for this folemn feafon. Rode home to 
 night with Mr. Bellamy ; felt fomething fweetly 
 on the road ; converfed with fome friends until it 
 was very late, and then retired to reft in a comforta- 
 ble frame. 
 
 Thurfday, September 2. — About two in the after- 
 noon, I preached from Joh. vi. 67. and God affifted 
 me in fome comfortable degree ; but nijore cfpecially 
 in my firft prayer ; my foul feemed then to launch 
 quite into the eternal world, and to be as it werefep- 
 arated from this lower world. Afterwards preached 
 again from Ifa. v. 4. God gave me fome ailiftance ; 
 but I faw myfelf a poor worm. 
 
 [On Friday, September 3, he complains of having 
 but little life in the things of God, the former part 
 of the day, but afterwards fpeaks of fweetnefs and 
 enlargement.] 
 
 Saturday, September 4. — Much out of health, and 
 exceedingly depreiTed in my foul, and was at an aw- 
 ful diftance from God. Towards night fpent fome 
 time in profitable thoughts on Rom. viii. 2. Near 
 night, had a very fweet feafon in prayer ; God ena- 
 bled me to wreftle ardently for the advancement of 
 the Redeemer's kingdom ; pleaded earnehMy for my 
 own dear brother John, that God would make him 
 more of a pilgrim and ftranger on the earth, and fit 
 him for Angular ferviceablenefs in the world ; and 
 my heart fweetly exulted in the Lord, in the thoughts 
 
 of 
 
62 The LIFE of 
 
 of any diftrefTes that might alight on him or me, in 
 the advancement of Chrift's kingdom. It was a 
 Tweet and comfortable hour unto my foul, while I 
 was indulged freedom to plead, not only for myfelf, 
 but for many other fouls. 
 
 Lord's Day, September 5. — Preached all day ; was 
 fomething Strengthened and ailifted in the afternoon ; 
 more efpecially in the evening : Had a fenfe of my 
 unfpeakable fhort comings in all my duties. I found, 
 alas ! that I had never lived to God in my life. 
 
 Monday, September 6. — Was informed that they 
 only waited for an opportunity to apprehend me for 
 preaching at New-Haven lately, that fo they might 
 imprifon me : This made me more folemn and feri- 
 ous, and to quit all hopes of the world's friendfhip : 
 It brought me to a further fenfe of my vilenefs, and 
 juftdefert of this, and much more, from the hand of 
 God, though not from the hand of man : Retired 
 into a convenient place in the woods, and fpreadthe 
 matter before God. 
 
 [Tuefday, September*]. — This day he rode to New- 
 Haven, but was obliged to fecrete himfelf among 
 private friends.] 
 
 Wednefday, September 8. — Felt very fweetly, when 
 I full: rofe in the morning. In family prayer, had 
 fome enlargement, but not much fpirituality, until 
 eternity came up before me and looked near : I found 
 fome fweetnefs in the thoughts of bidding a dying 
 farewell to this tire fome world. Though fome- 
 time ago I reckoned upon feeing my dear friends at 
 commencement, yet being now denied the opportu- 
 nity, for fear of imprifonment, I felt totally resign- 
 ed, and as contented to fpend this da}' alone in the 
 woods, as I could have done, if I had been allowed 
 to go to town. Felt exceedingly weaned from the 
 world to day. In the afternoon difcourfed fome- 
 thing on fome divine things with a dear chriftian 
 
 friend, 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 6$ 
 
 friend, whereby we were both refreshed. Then I 
 prayed, with a fweet fenfe of the bleffed nefs of com- 
 munion with God: I think I fcarce ever enjoyed 
 more of God in any one prayer. O it was a bleffed 
 feafon indeed to my foul ! I knew not that ever I faw 
 fo much of my own nothingnefs in my life ; never 
 wondered io y that God allowed me to preach his 
 word j never was fo aftonifhed as now. This has 
 been a fweet and comfortable day to my foul : Bleff- 
 ed be God. Prayed again with my dear friend, with 
 fomething of the divine prefence. I long to be 
 wholly conformed to God, and transformed into his 
 image. 
 
 Thurfday, September 9. — Spent much of the day 
 alone : Enjoyed the prefence of God in fome com- 
 fortable degree : Was vifited by fome dear friends, 
 and prayed with them : Wrote fundry letters to 
 friends ; felt religion in my foul while writing : En- 
 joyed fome fweet meditations on fome fcriptures. 
 In the evening, went very privately into town, from 
 the place of my refidence at the farms, and converfed 
 with fome dear friends ; felt fweetly in* finging 
 hymns with them ; and made my efcape to the farms 
 again, without being difcovered by my enemies, as I 
 knew of. Thus the Lord preferves me continually. 
 
 Friday , September \0. — Longed with intenfe defire 
 after God : My whole foul feemed impatient to be 
 conformed to him, and to become holy, as be is holy. 
 In the afternoon, prayed with a dear friend privately, 
 and had the prefence of God with us ; our fouls 
 united together to reach after a bleffed immortality, 
 to be unclothed of the body of Jin and death, and to 
 enter the bleffed world, where no unclean thing enters, 
 O, with what intenfe defire did our fouls lung for 
 that bleffed day, that we might be freed from fin, 
 and forever live to and in our God ! In the evening, 
 took leave of that houfe ; but firfl kneeled down and 
 
 prayed 5 
 
64 The LIFE op 
 
 prayed ; the Lord zc as of a truth in the midjl of us ; 
 it was a fweet parting feafon; felt in myfelf much 
 fweetnefs and affection in the things of God. Bleff- 
 ed be God for every fuch divine gale of his Spirit, 
 to fpeed me in my way to the New Jerufalem ! Felt 
 fome fweetnefs afterwards, and fpent the evening in 
 converfation with friends, and prayed with fome life, 
 and retired to reft very late. 
 
 [The five next days, he appears to have been in 
 an exceeding comfortable, fweet frame of mind, for 
 the moil part, and to have been the fubject of the 
 like heavenly exercifes as are often expreffed in pre- 
 ceding paffages of his Diary.] 
 
 Thurfday^ September 16. — At night, felt exceeding 
 fweetly : Enjoyed much of God in fecret prayer : 
 Felt an uncommon refignation, to be and do what 
 God pleafed. Some days pail, I felt great perplex- 
 ity on account of my pad conduct : My bitternefs, 
 and want of chriftian kindnefs and love, has been 
 very diftrefiing to my foul. The Lord forgive me 
 my unchriftian warmth, and want of a fpirit of meek- 
 nefs. 
 
 [The next day, he fpeaks of much refignation, 
 calmnefs and peace of mind, and near views of the 
 eternal world.] 
 
 Saturday, September 18. — Felt fome compaffion 
 for fouls, and mourned I had no more. I feel much 
 more kindnefs, meeknefs, gentlenefs and love to- 
 wards all mankind, than ever. I long to be at the 
 ieet of my enemies and perfecutors. Enjoyed fome 
 fweetnefs, in feeling my foul conformed to Chrift 
 Jefus, and given away to him forever, in prayer to 
 day. 
 
 [The next ten days, he appears to have been for 
 the moil part under great degrees of melancholy, ex- 
 ceedingly dejected and difcouraged ; fpeaks of his 
 being ready to give up all for gone rci pecting the 
 
 caufe 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 65 
 
 caufe of Chrift, and exceedingly longing to die : Yet 
 had fome fvveet feafons and intervals of comfort, and 
 1 pecial afliftance and enlargement in the duties of re- 
 ligion, and in performing publick fervices, and con- 
 siderable fuccefs in them.] 
 
 Tburfday, September 30.— Still very low in fpirits, 
 and did not know how to engage in any work or buf- 
 inefs, efpecially to correct fome diforders among 
 chriftians ; felt as though I had no power to be faith- 
 ful in that regard. However, towards noon, preach- 
 ed from Deut. viii. 2. and was enabled with free- 
 dom to reprove fome things in chriftians* conduct, 
 that I thought very unfuitable and irregular j infift- 
 ed near two hours on this fubject. 
 
 [Through this and the two following weeks, he 
 palled through a variety of exercifes : He was fre- 
 quently dejected, and felt inward diftreffes ; and 
 fometimes funk into the depths of melancholy : At 
 which turns, he was not exercifed about the ftate of 
 his foul, with regard to the favour of God and his 
 intereft in Chrift, but about his own finful infirmi- 
 ties, and unfltnefs for God's fervice. His mind ap- 
 pears fometimes extremely deprelTed and funk with 
 a fenfe of inexpreflible vjlenefs. But in the mean 
 time, he fpeaks of many feafons of com fort and fpir- 
 itual refrefhment, wherein his heart was encouraged 
 and ftrengthened in God, and fweetly refigned to his 
 will, and of fome feafons of very high degrees of 
 fpiritual confolation, and of his great longings aftef 
 holinefsand conformity to God, of his great fear of 
 offending God, of his heart's being fweetly melted 
 in religious duties, of his longing for the advance- 
 ment of (Thrift's kingdom, and of his having at fome 
 times much afliftance in preaching, and of remarka- 
 ble effects ofi the auditory.] 
 
 Lord's Day, Ocloberi^j. — Had a con'fidefable fenfe 
 of my helplelTnefs and inability ; faw that I muft be 
 E dependent 
 
66 The LIFE of 
 
 dependent on God for all I want ; and efpecially 
 when I went to the place of publick worfhip : I 
 found 1 could not fpeak a word for God without his 
 ipecial help and affiftance : I went into the affembly 
 trembling, as I frequently do, under a fenfe of my 
 inibfficiency to do any thing in thecaufe of God, as 
 1 ought to do. But it pleafed God to afford me 
 much afiiitance, and there feemed to be a confidera- 
 ble effect on the hearers. In the evening, I felt a 
 difpofition to praife God for his goodneis to me, in 
 fpecial, that he had enabled me in fome meafure to 
 be faithful ; and my foul rejoiced to think, that I had 
 thus performed the work of one day more, and was 
 one day nearer my eternal, and (I trull) my heavenly 
 home. O that I might ho. faithful to the death, ful- 
 filling as an hireling my day , until the fbades of the 
 evening of life fhall free my foul from the toils 
 of the day ! This evening, in fecret prayer, I felt ex- 
 ceeding folemn, and fuch longing detires after deliv- 
 erance from fin, and after conformity to God, as 
 melted my heart. O, I longed to be delivered from 
 this body of death ! I felt inward pleating pain, 
 that I could not be conformed to God entirely, fully 
 and forever. I fcarce ever preach without being firit 
 vifited with inward conflicts and fore trials. Bleff- 
 ed be the Lord for thefe trials and diftreffes, as they 
 are bleffed for my humbling. 
 
 Monday , Oclober 18. — In the morning, felt fome 
 fweetnefs, but ftill preffed through fome trials of foul. 
 My life is a conftant mixture of confolations and con- 
 flicts, and will be fo until I arrive at the world of 
 fpirits. 
 
 Tuefday, Oclober 19. — This morning and laft night, 
 felt a fweet longing in my foul after holinefs : My 
 foul feemed fo to reach and ftretch towards the mark 
 of perfedt fan&ity, that it was ready to break with 
 longings. 
 
 Thurfday 7 
 
Mr, DAVID B R A I N E R D. 67 
 
 Thurfiay, Oclober 11. — Had a very deep fenfe of 
 the vanity of the world, mod of the day ; had little 
 more regard to it, than if I had been to go into eter- 
 nity the next hour. Through divine goodnefs I felt 
 very ferious and folemn. O, I love to live on the 
 brinkof eternity, in my views and meditations ! This 
 gives me a fweet, awful and reverential fenfe and ap- 
 prehenfion of God and divine things, when I fee my- 
 felf as it were/landing before the judgment feat ofChrift. 
 
 Friday, Oclober 22. — Uncommonly weaned from 
 the world to day : My foul delighted to be zfiranger 
 and pilgrim on the earth : I felt a difpofition in me never 
 to have any thing to do with this world : The char- 
 acter given of fome of the ancient people of God, in 
 Heb. xi. 13. was very pleating to me, They conjeffed j 
 that they were pilgrims and Jl rangers on the earthy by 
 their daily practice ; and O that I could always do 
 fo ! Spent fome confiderable time, in a pleafant 
 grove, in prayer and meditation. O it is fweet, to 
 be thus weaned from friends, and from myfelf, and 
 dead to the prefent world, that fo I may live wholly 
 to and upon the bleffed God. Saw myfelf little, low, 
 and vile in myfelf. In the afternoon, preached at 
 Bethlehem, from Deut. viii. 2. and felt fweetly both 
 in prayer and preaching : God helped me to fpeak 
 to the hearts of dear chriftians. B felled be the Lord 
 for this feafon : I trull, they and I fliall rejoice on 
 this account to all eternity. Dear Mr. Bellamy came 
 in, while I was making the firfr. prayer (being return- 
 ed home from a journey) and after meeting, we 
 walked away together, and fpent the evening in 
 fweetly converting on divine things, and praying to- 
 gether, with fweet /and tender love to each other, 
 and retired to reft wirh our hearts in a ferious fpir- 
 itual frame. 
 
 Monday, October a$.<—[At Turkey-Hills.] In the 
 evening enjoyed the divine prefence in fecret prayer 1 
 
 E% It' 
 
68 T h e L I F E 
 
 O F 
 
 It was a fvveet and comfortable feafon to me : My 
 foul longed for God, for the living God: Enjoyed a 
 fweet folemnity of fpirit, and longing defire after 
 the recovery of the divine image in my foul : Then 
 JJjall I be fatisfied y when Ijhall awake in God's like- 
 nefs, and never before. 
 
 Tuefday, October 26.— -[At Weft-Suffield.] Under- 
 went the mod dreadful diftreiTes, under a fenfe of 
 my own unworthinefs : It feemed to me, I deferved 
 rather to be driven out of the place, than to have any 
 body treat me with any kindnefs, or come to hear me 
 preach. And verily my fpirits were fodeprefTed at this 
 time, as well as at many others, that it was impolTi- 
 ble I fhould treat immortal fouls with faithfulnefs : I 
 could not deal clofely and faithfully with them, I felt 
 fo infinitely vile in myfelf. O, what dujl and ajhes 
 I am, to think of preaching the gofpel to others" ! 
 Indeed, I never can be faithful for one moment, but 
 jfhall certainly daub with untempered mortar, if God 
 does not grant me fpecial help. In the evening, I went 
 to the meeting houfe, and it looked to me near as ea- 
 fy for one to rife out of the grave and preach, as for 
 me. However, God afforded me fome life and pow- 
 er, both in prayer and fermon : God was pleafed to 
 lift me up, and fhevv me that he could enable me to 
 preach. O the wonderful goodnefs of God to fo 
 vile a finner ! Returned to my quarters ; and enjo) r - 
 ed fome fvveetnefs in prayer alone, and mourned that 
 I could not live more to God. 
 
 PFednefday, October 27. — Spent the forenoon in 
 prayer and meditation : Was not a little concerned 
 about preaching in the afternoon : Felt exceedingly 
 without ftrength, and very helplefs indeed : Went 
 into the meeting houfe, alhamed to fee any come to 
 hear fuch an unfpeakably worthlefs wretch. How- 
 ever, God enabled me to fpeak with clearnefs, pow- 
 er, and pungency ; But there was fome noife and tu- 
 mult 
 
Mr. DAVID BR A I NERD. 69 
 
 mult in the aflfembly, that I did not well like, and 
 endeavoured to bear publick teftimony againft, with 
 moderation and mildnefs, through the current of my 
 difcourfe. In the evening, was enabled to be in 
 fome meafure thankful and devoted to God. 
 
 [The frames and exercifes of his mind, during the 
 four next days, were moftly very iimilar to thofe of 
 the two days paft ; excepting intervals of confidera- 
 ble degrees of divine peace and confolation.] 
 
 [Within this time he rode from Suffield to Eaftbu- 
 ry, Hebron, and Lebanon.] 
 
 Thurfday, November 4. — [At Lebanon.] Saw 
 much of my nothingnefs, moll of this day ; but felt 
 concerned that I had no morefenfeof my infufficien- 
 cy and unworthinefs. O it is fweet lying in the dufl I 
 but it is diftreffing, to feel in my foul that hell of 
 corruption, which ftill remains in me. In the after- 
 noon, had a fenfe of the fweetnefs of a ftricl, clofe 
 and conftant devotednefs to God, and my foul was 
 comforted with the confolations of God ; my foul 
 felt a pleafing, yet painful concern, left I mould 
 fpend fome moments without God. O may I always 
 live to God. In the evening, was vifited by fome 
 friends, and fpent the time in prayer and fuch con- 
 verfation as tended to our edification. It was a com- 
 fortable feafon to my foul : I felt an intenfe defire to 
 fpend every moment for God. God is unfpeakably 
 gracious to me continually : In times paft, he has 
 given me inexpreiTible fweetnefs in the performance 
 of duty : Frequently my foul has enjoyed much of 
 God ; but has been ready to fay, Lord it is good to be 
 here ; and fo to indulge (loth, while I have lived on 
 the fweetnefs of my feelings. But of late, God has 
 been pleafed to keep my foul hungry, almoft contin- 
 ually ; fo that I have been filled with a kind of a 
 pleafing pain : When I really enjoy God, I feel my 
 defiresof him the more infatiable, and my thirftings 
 
 E 3 after 
 
70 The LIFE of 
 
 after holinefs the more unquenchable ; and the Lord 
 will not allow me to feel as though I were fully fup- 
 plied and {"atisfied, but keeps me ftill reaching for- 
 ward ; and I feel barren and empty, as though I 
 could not live, without more of God in me ; I feel 
 afhamed and guilty before God. O, I fee, the law 
 is j'piritual, but I am carnal I I do not, I cannot live 
 to God. O for holinefs ! O for more of God in my 
 foul ! O this pleating pain ! It makes my foul prefs 
 after God ; the language of it is, Thenfljalllbefatis- 
 Jiedy when I awake in God\s likenefs, Pfal. xvii. ult. but 
 never, never before ; and confequently I am engaged 
 to prefs toward the mark, day by day. O that I may 
 feel this continual hunger, and not be retarded, but 
 rather animated by every clufter from Canaan, to 
 reach forward in the narrow way, for the full enjoy- 
 ment and poifeilion of the heavenly inheritance. O 
 that I may never loiter in my heavenly journey. 
 
 [Thefe infatiable defires after God and holinefs, 
 continued the two next days, with a great fenfe of 
 his own exceeding unworthinefs, and the nothing- 
 nefs of the things of this world.] 
 
 Lord's Day, November 7. — [At Millington.] It 
 feemed as if iuch an unholy wretch as I never 
 could arrive at that blefTednefs, to be holy, as God is 
 holy. At noon, I longed for fandification, and con- 
 formity to God. O, that is the all, the all ! The 
 Lord help me to prefs after God forever. 
 
 Monday, November 8. — Towards right, enjoyed 
 much fweetnefs in fecret prayer, fo that my foul 
 longed for an arrival in the heavenly country, the 
 bleffed paraciife of God. Through divine goodnefs, 
 I have fcarce feen the day, for two mouths, but death 
 has looked fo pleafant to me at one time or other of 
 the day, that I could have rejoiced the prefent mould 
 be my laft, notwithstanding my prcfling inward 
 trials and conflicts : And I truil, the Lord will final- 
 
 if 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 71 
 
 ]y make me a conqueror, and more than fo ; that I 
 mall beableto ule that triumphant language, death \ 
 where is thy Jiing ! And, grave, where is thy victory ! 
 
 [Within the next ten days, the following things 
 are expreffed : Longing and wreftling to be holy 
 and to live to God ; a defire that every fingle 
 thought might be for God j feeling guilty, that his 
 thoughts were no more f wallowed up in God ; fweet 
 iolemnity and calmnefs of m|nd, fubmiffion and re- 
 signation to God, great weanednefs from the world, 
 abatement in the duff, grief at fome vain converfa- 
 tion that was obierved, fweetnefs from time, to time 
 in fecret prayer, and in converting and praying with 
 chriftian friends. And every day he appears to have 
 been greatly engaged in the great bufincfs of religion 
 and living to God, without interruption.] 
 
 Friday, November 19. — [At New-Haven.] Receiv- 
 ed a letter from the reverend Mr. Pemberton, of 
 New-York, deiiring me fpeedily to go down thither, 
 and confult about the Indian affairs in thole pans, 
 and to meet certain gentlemen there, that were en- 
 trufted with thofe affairs : My mind was inftantly 
 feized with concern ; fo I retired with two or three 
 chriftian friends and prayed ; and indeed it was a 
 fweet time with me ; I was enabled to leave myfelf 
 and all my concerns with God ; and taking leave 
 of friends, I rode to Ripton, and was comforted in 
 an opportunity to fee and converfe with dear Mr, 
 Mills. 
 
 [In the four next following days, he was fome- 
 times opprelfed with the weight of that great affair, 
 about which Mr. Femberton had written to him ; 
 but was enabled from time to time to cqfl his bitfdc/i 
 en the Lord, and to commit himfelf and all his con- 
 cerns to him : And he continued {fill in a fenfe pi. 
 the excellency of holinefs, and longings alter it, and 
 earned deilres of the advancement of (Thrift's king- 
 
 E 4 dom 
 
72 The LIFE of 
 
 dom in the world ; and had from time to time fvveet 
 comfort in meditation and prayer.] 
 
 Wednefday % November 24. — Came to New- York ; 
 felt (till much concerned about the importance of 
 my bufinefs -, put up many earneit requefts to God 
 for his help and direction ; was confufed with the 
 noife and tumult of the city ; enjoyed but little time 
 alone with God j but my foul longed after him. 
 
 Thurfday, November 25.— Spent much time in 
 prayer and fupplication ; Was examined by fome 
 gentlemen, of my christian experiences, and my ac- 
 quaintance with divinity, and fome other Studies, in 
 order to my improvement in that important affair of 
 gofpellizing the heathen*: Was made fenfible of 
 my great ignorance and unfitnefs for publick fervice: 
 I had the mofl abating thoughts of myfelf, I think, 
 that ever I had ; I thought myfelf the worft wretch 
 that ever lived : It hurt me and pained my very 
 heart, that any body fliould fhew me any refpect : 
 Alas ! me thought, how fadly they are deceived in 
 me ; how miferably would they be difappointed, it 
 they knew my infide ! O my heart ! And in this 
 depreffed condition, I was forced to go and preach to 
 a considerable affembly, before fome grave and learn- 
 ed minifters ; but felt fuch a preifure from a fenfe 
 of my vilenefs, ignorance, and unfitnefs to appear in 
 publick, that I was almofr. overcome with it ; my 
 foul was grieved for the congregation, that they 
 fhould fit there to hear fuch a dead dag as I preach ; 
 I thought myfelf infinitely indebted to the people, 
 and longed that God would reward them with the 
 rewards of his grace. I fpent much of the evening 
 alone. 
 
 * Thefe gentlemen that examined Mr. Braincrd, were the Correfpor.der.t?, in New- 
 Vo r k.New-Jerfey, and Pennfylvania, of the honourable Society in Scot 'and for prop- 
 agating Chriltian Knowledge ; to whom was committed the management of the:r 
 •ffairs in thole parts, and who were now met at New-York. 
 
 PART 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 73 
 PART IV. 
 
 From the ti?ne of his examination by the Correfpondents 
 of the Society for propagating Chrifiian Knowledge, 
 and being appointed their Missionary, to hisjirjl 
 entrance on the bufinefs of his mifjion among the In- 
 dians at Kaunaumeek. 
 
 FRIDAY, November 26.— Had ftill a fenfe of my 
 great vilenefs, and endeavoured as much as I could 
 to keep alone. O, what a nothing, what duft and 
 allies am I ! Enjoyed fome peace and comfort in 
 fpreading my complaints before the God of all grace. 
 
 Saturday , November 27. — Committed my foul to 
 God with fome degree of comfort ; left New- York 
 .about nine in the morning; came away with a dif- 
 treffing fenfe (till of my unfpeakable unworthinefs. 
 Surely I may well love all my brethren ; for none of 
 them all is fo vile as I ; whatever they do outwardly, 
 yet it feems to me none is confeious of fo much 
 guilt before God. O my leannefs, my barrennefs, 
 my carnality, and pail bitternefs, and want of a gof- 
 pel temper ! Thefe things opprefs my foul. Rode 
 from New-York, thirty miles, to White Plains, and 
 moll of the way continued lifting up my heart to 
 God for mercy and purifying grace ; and fpent the 
 evening much dejected in ipirit. 
 
 [The three next days, he continued in this frame, 
 in a great fenfe of his own vilenefs, with an evident 
 mixture of melancholy, in no fmall degree ; but 
 had fome intervals of comfort and God's fenfible 
 prefence with him.] 
 
 Wednefday, December 1. — My foul breathed after 
 God, infweet fpiritual and longing defires of con- 
 formity 
 
74 The LIFE o i 
 
 formity to him ; my foul was brought to reft itfelf 
 and all on his rich grace, and felt fhength and en- 
 couragement to do or mffer any thing that divine 
 Providence mould allot me. Rode about twenty 
 miles, from Stratfield to Newton. 
 
 [Within the fpace of the next nine days, he went 
 a journey from Newton to Haddam, his native 
 town; and after flaying there fome days, returned 
 again into the weftern part of Connecticut, and 
 came to Southbury. In his account of the frames 
 and exercifes of his mind, during this fpace of time, 
 are fuch things as thefe : Frequent turns of dejection, 
 a ienfe of his vilenefs, emptinefs.and unfathom- 
 able abyfs of defperate wickednefs in his heart, at- 
 tended with a conviction that he had never feen but 
 little of it ; bitterly mourning over his barrennefs, 
 being greatly grieved that he could not live to God, 
 to whom he owed his all ten thoufand times ; cry- 
 ing out, My leannefs, my leannefs ! a fenfe of the 
 meetnefs and fuitablenefs of his lying in the duff, 
 beneath God's feet ; fervency and ardour in prayer ; 
 longing to live to God, and being afflicted with 
 fome impertinent trifling converfation that he heard, 
 but enjoying fweetnefsin chriftian converfation.] 
 
 Saturday , December u. — Converfed with a dear 
 fricnd, to whom I had thought of giving a liberal 
 education, and being at the whole charge of it, that 
 he might be fitted for the gofpel miniitry*. I ac- 
 quainted him with my thoughts in that matter, and 
 
 fo 
 
 * Mr. Brainerd having now undertaken thibufinefs of a Miffionary to the Indi- 
 ans, and expecting in n little time to leave his native country, to go among the Sav- 
 ages, into the wildernefs. far diftant, and fpend the remainder of his life among them, 
 and having fome eftate left him by his father, and thinking he fhnuld have no oc- 
 casion for it among them, (though afterwards he told me he found himlelf miltaken) 
 he let himfelf to think which way he might Ipind it moft to the glory of God; and 
 no way nrc fenting to his thoughts, wherein he could do more good with it, than 
 by being at the charge of educating ionic young perfon for the inimflry, that ap- 
 peared to be of good abilities and well difpoi'cd, lie pitched upon this pcrfon here 
 j'poken of, to this end : Who accordingly was foon put to learning ; and Mr. Bra;- 
 nerd continued to be at the charge of his education from year to year lo long as he 
 (Mr Brainerd) 'iyed, \vhic!i was until this young man was canied through his thud 
 year in college. 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD 75 
 
 fo left him to confider of it, until I fhould fee him 
 again. Then I rode to Bethlehem, and fo came to 
 Mr. Bellamy's lodgings • fpent the evening with 
 him in fvveet converfation and prayer : We rec- 
 ommended the important concern before men- 
 tioned (of fending my friend to college) unto the 
 God of all grace. Bleffed be the Lord for this even- 
 ing's opportunity together. 
 
 Lord's Day, December 12. — I felt, in the morning, 
 as if I had little or no power either to pray or preach, 
 and felt a diifreffing need of divine help : I went to 
 meeting trembling : But it pleafed God to afTift me 
 in prayer and fermon : 1 think my foul fcarce ever 
 penetrated fo far into the immaterial world, in any 
 one prayer that ever I made, nor were my devotions 
 ever fo much refined, and free from grofs concep- 
 tions, and imaginations framed from beholding ma- 
 terial objects. I preached with fome fvveetnefs, 
 from Matth. vi. 33. Butfeekycjirft.&c. And in 
 the afternoon from Rom. xv. 30. And now I ■■'. 
 vou; brethren, &c. There was much affection in 
 the aflembly. This has been a fvveet Sabbath to me : 
 And bleffed be God, I have reafon to think that vc\-j 
 religion has become more refined and fpi ritual, by 
 means of my late inward conflicts. Amen ! May 
 I always be willing that God fhould u(q his own 
 methods with me. 
 
 Monday, December 13. — joined in prayer with Mr. 
 Bellamy ; and found fvveetnefs and compofure in 
 parting with him, who went a journey. Enjoyed 
 fome fvveetnefs through the day, and jufr. at night 
 rode down to Woodbury. 
 
 Tuefday, December 14. — Some perplexity hung on 
 my mind : Was diitreffed Lift night and this morn- 
 ing for the intered of Z ion, efpecially on account 
 of the falfe appearances of religion, that do bur rath- 
 er breed cbnfulion, efpecially in fome places. I 
 
 cried 
 
76 The LIFE of 
 
 cried to God for help, to enable me to bear teftimony 
 againit thofe things, which inftead of promoting, do 
 but hinder the progrefs of vital piety. In the after- 
 noon, rode down to Southbury, and converfed again 
 with my friend about the important affair of his 
 following the work of the miniftry ; and he appear- 
 ed much inclined to devote himfelf to that work, if 
 God mould fucceed his attempts to qualify himfelf 
 for fo great a work. In the evening, I preached 
 from i Theff. iv. 8. and endeavoured, though 
 with tendernefs, to undermine falfe religion. The 
 Lord gave me fome afliftance ; but, however, I feemed 
 fo vile, I was afhamed to be feen when I came out of 
 the meeting houfe. 
 
 Wednefday, December 15. — Enjoyed fomething of 
 God to day, both in fecret and focial prayer ; but 
 was feniible of much barrennefs, and deled: in duty, 
 as well as my inability to help myfelf for the time 
 to come, or to perform the work and bufinefs I have 
 to do. Afterwards, felt much of the fweetnefs of 
 religion, and the tendernefs of the gofpel temper ; 
 was far from bitternefs, and found a dear love to all 
 mankind, and was afraidof fcarcely any thing fo much 
 as left fome motion of anger or refentment mould 
 fome time or other creep into my heart. Had fome 
 comforting foul refrefhing difcourfe with fome dear 
 friends, juft as we took our leave of each other, and 
 fuppofed it might be likely we mould not meet again 
 until we came to the eternal world*. But I doubt 
 not, through grace, but that fome of us mall have a 
 happy meeting there, and blefs God for this feafon, 
 as well as many others. Amen. 
 
 Tburfday, 
 
 * It had been determined by the Commiffioners, who employed Mr. Brainerd as 
 a Miffionary, that he fhould go as foon as might be conveniently, to the Indians liv- 
 ing nearthe Forks of Delaware river in Pennfylvania, and the Indians on Sufquehan- 
 nah river ; which being far off, white he would be expo fed to many hard (hips and 
 dangers ; this was the occafion of his taking leave of his fiiendc in this manner. 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 77 
 
 Thurfday, December 16. — Rode down to Derby ; 
 had fome fweet thoughts on the road : My thoughts 
 were very clear, efpecially on the eflence of our fal- 
 vation by Chrift, from thofe words, Thou Jhalt call 
 his name 'Jefus, &c. 
 
 Friday, December 17. — Spent much time in fweet 
 converfation on fpiritual things with dear Mr. Hum- 
 phreys. Rode to Ripton ; fpent fome time in 
 prayer with dear chriftian friends. 
 
 Saturday, December 18. — Spent much time in 
 prayer in the woods : Seemed raifed above the things 
 of the world : My foul was flrong in the Lord of 
 hofts : But was fenfible of great barrennefs. 
 
 Lord's Day, December 19. —At the facrament of 
 the Lord's fupper, feemed ftrong in the Lord ; and 
 the world with all its frowns and flatteries in a great 
 meafuredifappeared, fo that my foul had nothing to 
 do with them ; and I felt a difpofition to be wholly 
 and forever the Lord's. In the evening, enjoyed 
 fomething of the divine prefence ; had a humbling 
 fenfe of my vilenefs, barrennefs and finfulnefs. O, 
 it wounded me, to think of the miilmprovement of 
 time ! God be merciful to me ajinner. 
 
 Monday, December 20. — Spent this day in prayer, 
 reading, and writing; and enjoyed fome affiftance, 
 efpecially in correcting fome thoughts on a certain 
 fubjed: ; but had a mournful fenfe of my barrennefs. 
 
 Tuefday, December 2i . — Had a fenfe of my infuffi- 
 ciency for any publick work and bufinefs, as well as 
 to live to God. 1 rode over to Derby, and preached 
 there : It pleafed God to give me very fweet affift- 
 anceand enlargement, and to enable me tofpeak with 
 a foft and tender power and energy. We had after- 
 wards a comfortable evening in finging and prayer : 
 God enabled me to pray with as much fpirituality 
 and fweetnefs as I have done for fome time : My 
 mind feemed to be unclothed of fenfe and imagina- 
 tion, 
 
78 T he LIFE of 
 
 tion, and was in a meafure let into the immaterial 
 world of fpirits. This day and evening was, I truft, 
 through infinite goodnefs, made very profitable to a 
 number of us, to advance our fouls in holinefsandcon- 
 formity to Cod : The glory be to him forever. Amen. 
 How bleffed it is to grow more and more like God ! 
 
 Wednefday , December 22. — Enjoyed fome affiftance 
 in preaching at Ripton ; but my foul mourned with- 
 in me for my barrennefs. 
 
 Tfourfday, December 23. — Enjoyed, I truft, fome- 
 tning of God this morning in fecret. O how di- 
 vinely fweet it is to come into the fecret of his pref- 
 ence, and abide in his pavillion ! Took an affection- 
 ate leave of friends, not expecting to fee them a^-ain 
 for a very confidcrable time, if ever in this world. 
 Rode with Mr. Humphreys to his houfe at Derby ; 
 fpent the time in fweet converfation ; my foul was 
 refrefhed and fweetly melted with divine things. O 
 that I was always confecrated to God. Near night, 
 I rode to New-Haven, and there enjoyed fome fweet- 
 riefs in prayer and converfation, with fome dear chrif- 
 tiah friends : My mind was fweetly ferious and com- 
 pofed : But alas, I too much loft the fenfe of divine 
 things ! 
 
 [He continued much in the fame frame of mind, 
 and in like exercifes, the two following days.] 
 
 Lord's Day, December 26. — Felt much fweetnefs 
 and tendernefs in prayer ; efpecially my whole foul 
 feemed to love my worft enemies, and was enabled 
 to pray for thofe that are ftrangers and enemies to 
 God with a great degree of foftnefs and pathetick 
 fervour. In the evening, rode from New-Haven to 
 Brahfbrd, after I had kneeled down and prayed with 
 a number of dear chfiftian friends in a very retired 
 place in the woods, and fo partecj. 
 
 Monday, December 27. — Enjoyed a precious feafon 
 indeed ; had a fweet melting fenfe of divine things, 
 
 of 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 79 
 
 of the pure fpirituality of the religion of Chriftjefus. 
 In the evening, I preached fromMatth. vi. 33. with 
 much freedom, and fweet power and pungency : 
 The prefence of God attended our meeting. O the 
 fweetnefs, the tendernefs I felt in my foul ! If ever 
 I felt the temper of Chrift, I had fome fenfe of it 
 now. BlefTed be my God, I have feldom enjoyed a 
 more comfortable and profitable day than this. O 
 that I could fpend all my time for God. 
 
 Tuefday, December 28. — Rode from Branford to 
 Haddam. In the morning, my clearnefs and fweet- 
 nefs in divine things continued ; but afterwards my 
 fpiritual life feniibly declined. 
 
 [The next twelve days, he was for the moft part 
 extremely dejected,difcouraged and diitrefTedjand was 
 evidently very much under the power of melancholy ; 
 and there are from day today moll: bitter complaints 
 of exceeding vilenefs, ignorance, corruption, an amaz- 
 ing Load of guilt, unworthinefs to creep on God's 
 earth, everlafting ufeleffnefs, fitnefs for nothing, &c. 
 and fometimes expreffions even of horror at the 
 thoughts of ever preaching again. But yet in this 
 time of great dejection, he fpeaks offeveral intervals 
 of divine help and comfort.] 
 
 [The three next days, which were fpent at Hebron 
 and the Crank (a pariih in Lebanon) he had relief, 
 and enjoyed con fiderable comfort.] 
 
 Friday, January 14, 1742,3.— My fpiritual con- 
 flicts to day were unfpeakably dreadful, heavier 
 than the mountains and overflowing floods : I icem- 
 ed inclofed, as it were in hell itfelf ! I was deprived 
 of all fenfe of God, even of the being of a God ; and 
 that was my mifery ! I had no awful apprehensions 
 of God as angry. This was diilrefs, the neareft akin 
 to the damned's torments, that I ever endured : Their 
 torment, 1 am fure, will confift much in a privation 
 of God, and confequently of all good* Thi? taught 
 
 me 
 
80 The LIFE of 
 
 me the abfolute dependence of a creature upon God 
 the Creator, for every crumb of happinefs it enjoys. 
 O ! I feel that if there is no God, though I might 
 live forever here, and enjoy not only this, but all oth- 
 er worlds, I Ihould be ten thoufand times moremif- 
 erable than a toad ! My foul was in fuch anguim I 
 could not eat, but felt as I fuppofed a poor wretch 
 would that is juft going to the place of execution. I 
 was almoft fwallowed up with anguifh, when I faw 
 people gathering together to hear me preach. How- 
 ever, I went in that diftrefs to the houfe of God, and 
 found not much relief in the firfl prayer : It feemed 
 as if God would let loofe the people upon me, nor 
 were the thoughts of death diftreffing to me, like my 
 own vilenefs. But afterwards, in my difcourfe from 
 Deut. viii. 2. God was pleafed to give mefome free- 
 dom and enlargement, fome power and fpirituality ; 
 and I fpent the evening fomething comfortably. 
 
 [The two next days, his comfort continues, and 
 he feems to enjoy an almoft continual fweetnefs of 
 foul in the duties and exercifes of religion and chril- 
 tian converfation. On Monday was a return of the 
 gloom he had been under the Friday before. He rode 
 to Coventry this day, and the latter part of the day, 
 had more freedom. On Tuefday he rode to Canter- 
 bury, and continued more comfortable.] 
 
 Wednefday, 'January 19.— [At Canterbury.] In the 
 afternoon preached the lecture at the meeting houfe : 
 Felt fome tendernefs, and fomething of the gofpel 
 temper : Exhorted the people to love one another, 
 and not fet up their own frames as a ftandard to try 
 all their brethren by. But was much prefTed, moft 
 of the day, with a fenfe of my own badnefs, inward 
 impurity, and unfpeakable corruption. Spent the 
 evening in loving christian converfation. 
 
 Tbu rf day , January 20. — Rode to my brother's houfe 
 between Norwich and Lebanon ; and preached in 
 
 the 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD, 81 
 
 the evening to a number of people : Enjoyed neither 
 freedom nor fpirituality ; but faw myfelf exceeding 
 unworthy. 
 
 Friday, "January 21 . — Had great inward conflicts ; 
 enjo3'ed but little comfort. Went to fee Mr. Will- 
 iams of Lebanon, and fpentfeveral hours with him ; 
 and was greatly delighted with his ferious, deliberate 
 and impartial way of difcourfe about religion. 
 
 [The next day, he was much dejected.] 
 
 Lord's Day, January 23. — Scarce ever felt myfelf 
 fo unfit to exifl, as now : I faw, I was not worthy 
 of a place among the Indians, where I am going, if 
 God permit : I thought I mould be afhamed to look 
 them in the face, and much more to have any refpecl: 
 friewn me there. Indeed I felt myfelf banifhed from 
 the earth, as if all places were too good for fuch a 
 wretch as I : I thought 1 mould be afhamed to go 
 among the very favages of Africa : I appeared to 
 myfelf a creature fit for nothing, neither heaven nor 
 earth. None knows, but thofe that feel it, what the 
 foul endures that is fenfibly fhut out from the pref- 
 enceof God : Alas, it is more bitter than death ! 
 
 [On Monday he rode to Stoningtown, Mr. FinVs 
 pariih. On Tuefday he exprefTes considerable de- 
 grees of fpiritual comfort and refrefhment.] 
 
 IVednefday , January 26. — Preached to a pretty large 
 afiembly at Mr. FiiVs meeting houfe : Infiited 
 on humility, and ireadfaftnefs in keeping God's com- 
 mands, and that through humility we ihould prefer 
 one another in love, and not make our own frames 
 the rule by which we judge others. I felt fweetly 
 calm, and full of brotherly love; and never more 
 free from party fpirit. I hope fome good will fol- 
 low, that chriftians will be freed from falfe joy, and 
 party zeal, and cenfuring one another. 
 
 [OnThuriday, after confiderable time fpent in prayer 
 and chriftian converfation, he rode to New-London.] 
 
 F Friday, 
 
§2 The LIFE of 
 
 Friday, January Q&. — Here I found fome fallen in- 
 to fome extravagances, too much carried away with 
 a falfe zeal, and bitternefs. O, the want of a gof- 
 pel temper is greatly to be lamented. Spent the 
 evening in converting with fome about fome points 
 of conduct in both minifters and private chriftians ; 
 but did net agree with them ; God had not taught 
 them with briers and thorns to be of a kind difpofition 
 toward mankind. 
 
 [On Saturday, he rode to Eaft-Haddam, and fpent 
 the three following days there ; and in that fpace of 
 time he fpeaks of his feeling weanednefs from the 
 world, a fenfe of the nearnefs of eternity, fpecial af- 
 fiftance in praying for the enlargement of ChrifVs 
 kingdom, times of fpiritual comfort, &c] 
 
 Wednefday, February 2. — Preached my farewell 
 fermon, laft night, at the houfeof an aged man, who 
 had been unable to attend on the publick worfhip 
 for fome time ; and this morning, fpent the time in 
 prayer, almoft wherever I went ; and having taken 
 leave of friends> I fet out on my journey towards the 
 Indians ; though by the way I was to fpend fome 
 time at Eaft- Hampton on Long-Ifland, by the leave 
 of the commiffioners who employed me in the In- 
 dian affair* ; and being accompanied by a meffenger 
 from Eaft-Hampton, we travelled to Lyme. On 
 the road I felt an uncommon prefTure of mind : I 
 feemed to ft ruggle hard for fome pleafure in fome- 
 thing here below, and feemed loth to give up all for 
 gone ; but then faw myfelf evidently throwing my- 
 felf into all hardfhips and diftrefTes in my prefent 
 undertaking ; I thought it would be lefs difficult to 
 lie down in the grave : But yet I chofe to go, rather 
 than flay. Came to Lyme that night. 
 
 [He 
 
 * The reafon why the Commiffioners or Correfpondents did not order Mr. Brai- 
 ncrd to go immediately to the Indians, and enter on his bufinefs as a Miffionary to 
 them, was that the winter was not judged to be a convenient feafon for him firft to 
 go out into the wildemefs; and enter on the difficulties and kardfhips he mull there 
 be eicpofed to. 
 
Mr. DAVID BR A I NERD. 83 
 
 [He waited the two next days for a pafTage over 
 the found, and fpent much of the time in inward con- 
 flicts and dejection, but had fome comfort.] 
 
 [On Saturday, he crofled the found, landed at Oyf- 
 ter-Ponds on Long-Ifland, and travelled from thence 
 to Eaft- Hampton. And the feven following days 
 he fpent there, for the mod part, under extreme de- 
 jection and gloominefs of mind, with great com- 
 plaints ofdarknefs, ignorance, &c. Yet his heart 
 appears to have been constantly engaged in the great 
 bufinefs of religion, much concerned for the interefl 
 of religion in Eaft- Hampton, and praying and la- 
 bouring much for it.] 
 
 Saturday ', February 12. — Enjoyed a little more 
 comfort, was enabled to meditate with fome compo- 
 fure of mind ; and efpecially in the evening, found 
 my foul more refrefhed in prayer, than at any time 
 of late ; my foul feemed to take hold of God's ftrength 9 
 and was comforted with his confolations. O how 
 fweet are fome glimpfes of divine glory I How 
 Itrengthening and quickening ! 
 
 Lord's Day, February 13- — At noon, under a great 
 degree of difeouragement ; knew not how it was 
 poflible for me to preach in the afternoon ; was ready- 
 to give up all for gone ; but God was pleafed to af- 
 fift me in fome meafure. In the evening, my heart 
 was fweetly drawn out after God, and devoted to 
 him. 
 
 [The next day, he had comfort and dejection in- 
 termingled.] 
 
 Tuefday, February 15. — Early in the day I felt 
 fome comfort, afterwards I walked into a neighbour- 
 ing grove, and felt more as a ftranger on earth, I 
 think, than ever before ; dead to any of the enjoy- 
 ments of the world as if I had been dead in a nat- 
 ural fenfe. In the evening, had divine fvveetnefs in 
 fecret duty : God was then my portion, and my foul 
 F % rofe 
 
84 The LIFE o i 
 
 rofe above thofe deep waters, into which I have funk 
 fo low of late: My foul then cried for Zion, and 
 had fweetnefs in fo doing. 
 
 [This fweet frame continued the next morning ; 
 but afterwards his inward diftrefs returned.] 
 
 Thurfday, February 17. — In the morning, found 
 myfelf fomething comfortable, and relied oi\ God in 
 fome meafure. Preached this day at a little village 
 belonging to Eaft-Hampton ; and God was pleaf- 
 cd to give me his gracious prefence and afliftance. To 
 that. I fpake with freedom, boldnefs and fome pow- 
 er. In the evening, fpent fome time with a dear 
 chriftian friend ; felt fweetly ferious, as on the brink 
 of eternity ; my foul enjoyed fweetnefs in lively ap- 
 prehensions of Handing belore the glorious God : 
 Prayed with my dear friend with fweetnefs, and dif- 
 courfed with utmoft folemnity. And truly it was a 
 little emblem of heaven itfelf. I find my foul is 
 more refined and weaned from a dependence on my 
 frames and fpiritual feelings. 
 
 Friday, February 1 8. — Felt fomething fweetly moft 
 of the day, and found accefs to the throne of 
 grace. BlelTed be the Lord for any intervals of heav- 
 enly delight and compofure, while lam engaged in 
 the field of battle. O that I might be ferious, fol- 
 emn, and always vigilant, while in an evil world. 
 Had fome opportunity alone to day, and found fome 
 freedom in ftudy. O, I long to live to God. 
 
 Lord's Day, February 20. — Was fomething per- 
 plexed on account of my careleflhefs ; I thought I 
 could not be fuitably concerned about the important 
 work of the day, and fo was reftlefs with my eafinefs. 
 Was exceeding infirm again to day ; but the Lord 
 ftrengthened me both in the outward and inward 
 man, fo that I preached with fome life and fpirit- 
 uality, efpecially in the afternoon, wherein I was 
 enabled to fpeak clofely againft felfifh religion, 
 
 that 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 85 
 
 that loves Chrifl for his benefits, but not for him- 
 
 ielf. 
 
 [During the next fortnight, it appears that he for 
 the moft part enjoyed much fpiritual peace and com- 
 fort. In his Diary for this fpace of time, are ex~ 
 preffed fuch things as thefe ; mourning over indwell- 
 ing fin, and unprofltablenefs ; deadnefs to the world ; 
 longing after God and to live to his glory ; heart 
 melting defires after his eternal home ; fixed reliance 
 on God for his help ; experience of much divine af- 
 fiitance both in the private and publick exercifes of 
 religion .; inward flrength and courage in the fervice 
 of God ; very frequent refrefhment, confolation and 
 divine fweetnefs in meditation, prayer, preaching, 
 and chriftian converfation. And it appears by his 
 account, that this fpace of time was filled up with 
 great diligence and earneflnefs in ferving God, in 
 ftudy, prayer, meditation, preaching, and private in- 
 finicking and counfeling.] 
 
 Monday , March 7. — This morning when I arofe, 
 I found my heart go forth after God in longing de- 
 fires of conformity to him, and in fecret prayer 
 found myfelf fvvectly quickened and drawn out in 
 praifes to God for all he had done to and for me, 
 and for all my inward trials and diftrefTes of late ; 
 my heart afcribed glory, glory, glory to the bleifed 
 God ! And bid welcome all inward diltrefs again, 
 if God faw meet to exercife me with it ; time ap- 
 peared but an inch long, and eternity at hand ; and 
 I thought I could with patience and cheerfulnefs 
 bear any thing for the caufe of God : For i faw that 
 a moment would bring me to a world of peace and 
 blefTednefs ; and my foul, by the itrength of the 
 Lord, rofe far above this lower world, and all the 
 vain amufements and frightful difappointments of 
 it. Afterwards, was vifited by fome friends, but 
 loft fome fweetnefs by the means. After that, had 
 
 F 3 fome 
 
S6 The LIFE of 
 
 fome fweet meditation on Gen. v. 24. And Enoch 
 walked with God, &c. This was a comfortable day 
 to my foul, 
 
 [The next day, he feems to have continued in a 
 considerable degree of fweetnefs and fervency in re- 
 ligion.] 
 
 Wednefday, March 9. — Endeavoured to commit 
 myfelf and all my concerns to God. Rode fixteen 
 Miles to Mantauk*, and had fome inward fweetnefs 
 on the road ; but fomething of flatnefs and deadnels 
 after I came there and had feen the Indians : I with- 
 drew, and endeavoured to pray, but found myfelf 
 awfully deferted and left, and had an afflicting fenfe 
 of my vilenefs and meannefs. However, 1 went 
 and preached from Ifai. liii. 10. Had fome aflift- 
 ance ; and, I truft, fomething of the divine prefence 
 was among us. In the evening, again I prayed and 
 exhorted among them, after having had a feafon 
 alone, wherein I was fo preffed with the blacknefs 
 of my nature, that I thought it was not fit for me^o 
 fpeak fo much as to Indians. 
 
 [The next day, he returned to Eaft- Hampton % 
 ■was exceeding infirm in body through the remain- 
 ing part of this week ; but fpeaks of aififlance and 
 enlargement in ftudy and religious exercifes, and of 
 inward fweetnefs and breathing after God.] 
 
 Lord's Day, March 13. — At noon, I thought it 
 impoflible for me to preach, by jeafon of bodily 
 weaknefs and inward deadnefs ; and in the firft 
 prayer, was fo weak that I could hardly fland 3 but 
 in fermon, God Strengthened me, fp that I fpake near 
 an hour and half with fweet freedom, clearnefs and 
 fome tender power, from Gen. v. 24. And Enoch 
 walked with God. I was fvveetly aflifted to infifr on 
 a clofe walk with God, and to leave this as my part- 
 ing 
 
 * Mantauk is the eafiern cape or end of Long-Ifland, then inhabited chiefly by 
 Indians, 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD 87 
 
 Ing advice to God's people here, that they JJjou/d 
 walk with God. May the God of all grace fucceed 
 my poor labours in this place ! 
 
 Monday, March 14. — In the morning, was very bufy 
 in preparation for my journey, and was almoft con- 
 tinually engaged in ejaculatory prayer* About ten, 
 took leave of the dear peopje of Eafl- Hampton. 
 My heart grieved and mourned, and rejoiced at the 
 fame time ; rode near fifty miles to a part of Brook- 
 Haven, and lodged there, and had refrefhingconver- 
 fation with a chriftian friend. 
 
 [In two days more he reached New-York ; but 
 complains of much defertion and deadnefs on the 
 road. He flayed one day in New- York, and on 
 Friday went to Mr. Dickinfon's at Elizabeth-Town. 
 His complaints are the fame as on the two preced- 
 ing days.] 
 
 Saturday, March 19. — Was bitterly diflreffed un- 
 der a fenfeof my ignorance, darknefs and unworthi- 
 nefs ; got alone, and poured out my complaint to 
 God in the birternefs of my foul. In the afternoon, 
 rode to Newark, and had fome fweetnefs in conver- 
 fation with Mr. Burr, and in praying together. O ! 
 bleUed be God forever and ever, for any enlivening 
 and quickening. 
 
 Lord's Day, March 20. — Preached in the fore- 
 noon : God gave me fome affiftance and fweetnefs, 
 and enabled me to fpeak with real tendernefs, love 
 and impartiality. In the evening preached again ; 
 and of a truth God was pleafed to affifl a poor worm. 
 BlefTed be God, I was enabled to fpeak with life, 
 power, and paffionate defire of the edification of 
 God's people, and with fome power to finners. In 
 the evening, I felt fomething fpirifualand watchful, 
 left my heart fhould by any means be drawn away 
 from God. O, when fhall I come to that blefled 
 world, where every power of my foul will be in- 
 
 F 4 ceflantly 
 
83 The LIFE or 
 
 ceffantly and eternally wound up, in heavenly 
 employments and enjoyments, to the highefl de- 
 gree ? 
 
 [On Monday he went to Woodbridge, where he 
 fpeaks of his being with a number of miniftcrs* ; 
 and the remainder of this week and the greater part 
 of the next he fpent in a journey to Stockbridge.] 
 
 * Thefe minifters were the Correfpondents, who row met at Woodbridge, and 
 gave Mr. Brainerd new directions, and inftead.of fending him to the Indians at the 
 Forks of Delaware, as before intended, they ordered him'to go to a number of In- 
 dians, at Kaunaumeek, a place in the province of New- York, in the wood* between 
 S:cckbridge and Albany. 
 
 PART 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAIN ERD. 89 
 
 PART V. 
 
 From hisfirjl beginning to injlniB the Indians at Kau- 
 naumeeky to his Ordination. 
 
 FRIDAY, April 1, I743-— I rocSe to Kaunaumeek, 
 near twenty miles from Stockbridge, where 
 the Indians live, with whom I am concerned, and 
 there lodged on a little heap of ftraw : Was greatly 
 exercifed with inward trials and diflreiTes all day ; 
 and in the evening, my heart was funk, and I feem- 
 ed to have no God to go to. O that God would 
 help me ! 
 
 [The next five days, he was for the moll: part in 
 a dejected depreffed ftate of mind, and fometimes 
 extremely fo.] 
 
 Friday y April 7. — Appeared to myfelf exceeding 
 ignorant, weak, helplefs, and unworthy, and alto- 
 gether unequal to my work. It feemed to me, I 
 fhould never do any fervice, or have any fuccefs 
 among the Indians. My foul was weary of my 
 life : I longed for death beyond meafure. When I 
 thought of any godly foul departed, my foul was 
 ready to envy him his privilege, thinking, O when 
 ivill my turn come ! Muff, it be years firfl ! But I 
 know thofe ardent defires at this and other times, 
 rofe partly from want of refignation to God under all 
 miferies ; and fo were but impatience. Towards 
 night I had, I think, the exercife of faith in prayer, 
 and fome afliflance in writing. O that God would 
 keep me near him ! 
 
 Friday, April 8. — Was exceedingly prefTed under 
 a fenfe of my pride, felfifhnefs, bitternefs, and party 
 fpirit in times pad:, while I attempted to promote the 
 caufeofGod: It's vile nature and dreadful confe- 
 
 quences 
 
go The LIFE op 
 
 quences appeared in fuch odious colours to me, that 
 my very heart was pained : I faw how poor fouls 
 {tumbled over it into everlafting definition, that I 
 wasconftrained to make that prayer in the bitternefs 
 of my foul, O Lord, deliver me from blood guiltinefs. 
 I faw my defert of hell on this account. My foul 
 was full of inward anguifh and mame before God, 
 that I had fpent fo much timeinconverfation tending 
 only to promote a party fpirit. O, I faw I had not 
 iuitably prized mortification, felf denial, refignation 
 under all adverfities, meeknefs, love, candour, and 
 holinefs of heart and life : And this dav was almoil 
 wholly fpent in fuch bitter and foul afflicting reflec- 
 tions on my paft frames and conduit. Of late I 
 have thought much of having the kingdom of Chrift 
 advanced in the world ; but now I faw I had enough 
 to do within myfelf. The Lord be merciful to me a 
 firmer ', and warn my foul. 
 
 Saturday \ April 9. — Remained much in the fame 
 ftate as yefterday ; excepting that the fenfe of my 
 vilenefs was not fo quick and acute. 
 
 Lord's Day, April \Q. — Rofe early in the morning, 
 and walked out, and fpent confiderable time in the 
 woods, in prayer and meditation. Preached to the In- 
 dians both forenoon and afternoon. They behaved fo- 
 berly in general : Two or three in particular appeared 
 under fome religious concern; with whom 1 difcourf- 
 ed privately ; and one told me, her heart had cried, 
 ever fince me heard me preach firft. 
 
 [The two next days he complains of much defer- 
 tion, and manifeils a great fenfe of guilt and ftupid- 
 ity.] 
 
 Wednefday, April 13. — My heart was overwhelm- 
 ed within me : I verily thought I was the meaneft, 
 vileft,mofthelplefs, guilty, ignorant, benighted crea- 
 ture living. And yet I knew what God had done 
 for my foul, at the fame time. Though fometimes 
 
 1 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD, 91 
 
 I was affaulted with damping doubts and fears, 
 whether it was poflible for fuch a wretch as I to be 
 in aftate of grace. ;•'-< , . 
 
 Saturday, April 16 — Still in the depths of diftrefs. 
 In the afternoon, preached to my people ; but was 
 more difcouraged with them than before ; feared 
 that nothing would ever be done for them to any 
 happy effect. I retired and poured out my foul to 
 God for mercy -, but without any fenfible relief. — 
 Soon after came an Irimman and a Dutchman, with 
 a defign, as they faid, to hear me preach the next day ; 
 but none can tell how I felt to hear their profane 
 talk. O, I longed that fome dear chriflian knew my 
 diftrefs. I got into a kind of hovel, and there groan- 
 ed out my complaint to God ; and withal felt more 
 fenfible gratitude and thankfulnefs to God, that he 
 had made me to differ from thefe men, as I knew 
 through grace he had. 
 
 Lord*s Day, April 17. — In the morning was again 
 diftrelled as foon as I awaked, hearing much talk 
 about the world and the things of it : Though I per- 
 ceived the men were in fome meafure afraid of me ; 
 and I difcourfed fomething about fandtifying the 
 Sabbath, if poffible, to folemnize their minds ; but 
 when they were at a little diftance, they again talked 
 freely about fecular affairs. O, I thought, what a hell 
 it would be to live with fuch men to eternity 1 The 
 Lord gave me fome afliftance in preaching, all day, and 
 fome refignation, and a fmall degree of comfort in 
 praver at night. 
 
 [He continued in this difconfolate frame the next' 
 day.] 
 
 TuefdaVy April 19. — In the morning, enjoyed fome 
 fweet repofe and reilin God ; felt fome itrength and 
 confidence in God ; and my foul was in fome meafure 
 refrelhed and comforted. Spent moll of the day in 
 writing, and had fome exercife of grace fenfible and 
 
 comfortable : 
 
92 The LIFE of 
 
 comfortable ; my foul feemed lifted above the deep 
 wafers, wherein it has been fo long almoft drowned ; 
 felt fome fpiritual longings and breathings of foul 
 after God ; found myfelf engaged for the advance- 
 ment of ChriiVs kingdom in my own foul, more than 
 in others, more than in the heathen world. 
 
 iVednefday ', April 20. — Set apart this day for fad- 
 ing and prayer, to bow my foul before God for the 
 beflowrnent of divine grace ; efpeciully that all my 
 fpiritual afflictions and inward diftreffes might be 
 fanctified to my foul. And endeavoured alfo to re- 
 member the goodnefs of God to me in the year pair, 
 this day being my birth day. Having obtained 
 help of God, I have hitherto lived, and am now ar- 
 rived at the age of twenty five years. My foul was 
 pained to think of my barrennefs and deadnefs ; that 
 1 have lived fo little to the glory of the eternal God. 
 I fpent the day in the woods alone, and there poured 
 out my complaint to God. O that God would 
 enable me to live to his glory for the future. 
 
 T/jutfday, April 1i. — Spent the forenoon in read- 
 ing and prayer, and found myfelf fomething engag- 
 ed ; but ftill much depreffed in fpirit under a fenfe 
 of my vilenefs and unntnefsfor any publick fervice. 
 In the afternoon, I vifited my people, and prayed 
 and converfed with fome about their fouls' concerns : 
 And afterwards found fome ardour of foul in fecret 
 prayer. O that I might grow up into the likenefs 
 of God. 
 
 Friday, April 22. — Spent the day in fludy, read- 
 ing and prayer ; and felt a little relieved of my bur- 
 den, that has been Co heavy of late. But flill in 
 fome meafure oppreffed. Had a fenfe of barrennefs. 
 O, myleannefs teftifies againft, me ! My very foul 
 abhors itfelf for its unlikenefs to God, its inactivity 
 and fluggifhnefs. When I have done all, alas, what 
 an unprofitable Servant am I ! My foul groans, to 
 
 fee 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 93 
 
 fee the hours of the day roll away, becaufe I do not 
 fill them, in fpirituality and heavenly mindednefs. 
 And yet I long they fliould fpeed their pace, to 
 haften me to my eternal home, where I may fill up 
 all my moments, through eternity, for God and his 
 glory 
 
 [For feveral following days he feems to have been 
 under an increafe of dejection and melancholy. On 
 Tuefday, he exprefTes ibme relief. Wednefday he 
 kept as a day of falling and prayer, but in great dif- 
 treis. The next three days following, his melan- 
 choly continued, but in a lefTer degree, and with in- 
 tervals of comfort.] 
 
 Lord's Day, May 1. — Was at Stockbridge to day. 
 Jn the forenoon had fome relief and affiftance ; though 
 not fo much as ufual. In the afternoon, felt poorly 
 in body and foul ; while 1 was preach in g,feemed to be 
 rehearfing idle tales, without the leaft life, fervour, 
 fenfe or comfort : And cfpecially afterwards, at the 
 facrament, my foul was filled with confufion, and 
 the utmoft anguiih that ever I endured, under the 
 feeling of my inexpreffible vilenefs and meannefs. 
 
 [The remaining days of this week were fpent, for 
 the moft part, in inward diftrefs and gloominefs. 
 The next Sabbath, he had encouragement, affiftance 
 and comfort ; but on Monday funk again.] 
 
 Tae/day, May 10.-— Was in the fame ftate, as to 
 my mind, that I have been in for fome time, extreme- 
 ly preiTed with a fenfe of guilt, pollution, blindnefs: 
 The iniquity of my heels have compaffed me about ; 
 thejins of my youth have been fet in order before me ; 
 they have gone over my head, as an heavy burden, too 
 heavy for me to bear. Almoft ail the actions of my 
 life paft feem to be covered over with fin and guilt ; 
 and thofe of them that I performed in the moft con- 
 fcientious manner, now fill me with fhame and con- 
 fufion, that I cannot hold up my face. O ! the pride, 
 
 felfiftmefs, 
 
94 The LIFE of 
 
 felfiftinefs, hypocrify, ignorance, bitternefs, party 
 zeal, and the want of love, candour, meeknefs and 
 gentlenefs that have attended my attempts to pro- 
 mote religion and virtue ; and this when I have 
 reafon to hope I had real aftiftance from above, and 
 fome fweet intercourfe with heaven ! But alas, what 
 corrupt mixtures attended my bed: duties ! 
 
 [The next feven days, his gloom and diftrefs con- 
 tinued, for the moft part ; but he had fome turns of 
 relief and fpiritual comfort. He gives an account of 
 his fpending part of this time in hard labour, to build 
 himfelf a little cottage to live in amongft the Indians, 
 in which he might be by himfelf ; having (it 
 feems) hitherto lived with a poor Scotchman ; and 
 afterwards, before his own houfe was habitable, liv- 
 ed in a wigwam among the Indians.] 
 
 Wednefday, May 18. — My circumftances are fuch 
 that I have no comfort, of any kind, but what I have 
 in God. I live in the moil lonefome wildernefs ; 
 have but one fihgle perfon to converfe with, that 
 can fpeak Englifh* : Moft of the talk I hear, is 
 either Highland-Scotch or Indian. I have no fellow 
 chriftian to whom I might unbofom myfelf , and lay 
 open my fpiritual forrows, and with whom I might 
 take fweet counfel in converfation about heavenly 
 things, and join in focial prayer. I live poorly with 
 regard to the comforts of life : Moft of my diet con- 
 lifts of boiled corn, hafty-pudding, &c. I lodge on 
 a bundle offtraw, and my labour is hard and ex- 
 tremely difficult ; and I have little appearance of 
 fuccefs to comfort me. The Indians' affairs are ve- 
 ry difficult ; having no land to live on, but what 
 
 the 
 
 *This perfon was Mr. Brainerd's interpreter ; who was an ingenious young Iny 
 dian belonging to Stockbridge, whofe name was John Wauwaumpeqnunnaunt, who 
 had been initrucled in the chriftian religion by Mr. Sergeant ; and had lived with 
 the Rev. Mr. Williams of Long-Meadow, and had besn further inftrufted by hira 
 at the charge of Mr. Hollis of London ; and undtrftood both Eugufn and Indian 
 very well, and wrote a good hand. 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 93 
 
 the Dutch people lay claim to, and threaten to drive 
 them off from ; they have no regard to the fouls of 
 the poor Indians ; and, by what I can learn, they 
 hate me, becaufe I come to preach to them. But 
 that which makes all my difficulties grievous to be 
 borne, is, that God hides his face from me. 
 
 [The next eleven days, his burdens were for the 
 molt part alleviated ; but with variety ; at fome 
 times having confiderable confolation, and at other 
 times more depreffed. The next day, Monday, 
 May 30, he fet out on a journey to New-Jerfey, 
 to confult the Commiilioners that employed him 
 about the affairs of his million* : Performed his jour- 
 ney thither in four days ; and arrived at Mr. Burr's 
 in Newark on Thurfday. In great part of his jour- 
 ney, he was in the depths of melancholy, under like 
 diftreiTes with thofe already mentioned. On Friday, 
 he rode to Elizabeth-Town ; and on Saturday, to 
 New-York ; and from thence on his way homewards 
 as far as White-Plains, where he fpent the Sabbath, 
 and had confiderable degrees ol divine confolation 
 and affiftance in publick fervices. On Monday, he 
 rode about lixty miles to New-Haven. There he 
 attempted a reconciliation with the authority of the 
 college ; and fpent this week in vifiting his friends 
 in thofe parts, and in his journey homewards, until 
 Saturday, in a pretty comfortable frame of mind. — 
 On Saturday, in his way from Stockbridge to Kau- 
 naumeek, he was loft in the woods, and lay all night 
 in the open air ; but happily found his way in 
 the morning, and came to his Indians on Lord's 
 Day, June 12. And had greater affiftance in preach- 
 ing among them than ever before, fince his firfr. 
 coming among them.] 
 
 [From 
 
 * His bufinefs with the Commiitianers now, was, to obtain orders from them to 
 fet up a fchool among the Indians at Kaunaunieek, and that his interpreter might be 
 appointed the ichoolmafler ; Which was accordingly done- 
 
96 TheLIFEof 
 
 [From this time forward he was the fubjecl of va- 
 rious frames and exercifes of mind. How it was 
 with him in thofe dark feafons, he himfeif further 
 defcribes in his Diary for July 2, in the following 
 manner. My foul is and has for a long time been 
 in a piteous condition, wading through a feries of 
 forrows, of various kinds. 1 have been fo crufhed 
 down fometimes with a fenfe of my meanncfs and 
 infinite unworthinefs, that I have been afhamed that 
 any even the meanefr. of my fellow creatures (hould io 
 much as fpend a thought about me, and have wifli- 
 ed fometimes while I have travelled among the thick 
 brakes, as one of them to drop into everlafting obliv- 
 ion. Sometimes my foul has been in diftrefs on 
 feeling fome particular corruptions rife and fwell 
 like a mighty torrent, with prefent violence ; 
 having at the fame time ten thoufand former iins and 
 follies prefented to view, in all their blacknefs and 
 aggravations. And thefe attended with fuch exter- 
 nal circumftances as mine at prefent are ; deititute of 
 moil: of the conveniencies of life, and I may iay, of 
 all the pleafures of it ; without a friend to communi- 
 cate any of my forrows to, and fometimes without any 
 place of retirement, where I may unburden my foul 
 before God, which has greatly contributed to my dif- 
 trefs. Of late, more efpecially, my great difficulty 
 has been a fort of careleiTnefs, a kind of regardlefs 
 temper of mind, whence I have been difpofed to in- 
 dolence and trifling : And this temper of mind has 
 constantly been attended with guilt and fhame ; lo 
 that fometimes I have been in a kind of horror, to 
 find myfelf fo unlike the blefTed God ; and have 
 thought" I grew worfe under all my trials ; and noth- 
 ing has cut and wounded my foul more than this. 
 O, if I am one of God's chofen, as I truft through in- 
 finite grace I am, I find of a truth, that the righteous 
 are fcarcely faved I 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 97 
 
 It is apparent, that one main occafion of that dif- 
 trefling gloominefs of mind which he was fo much 
 exercifed with at Kaunaumeek, was reflection on his 
 paft errors and mifguided zeal at college, in the be- 
 ginning of the late religions commotions in the land. 
 And therefore he repeated his endeavours this year 
 for reconciliation with the governours of the college, 
 whom he had in that time offended. Although he 
 had been at New-Haven, in June, this year, and had 
 attempted a reconciliation, as has been mentioned 
 already, yet in the beginning of July, he madeanother 
 journey thither, and renewed his attempt, but flill 
 in vain. 
 
 Although he was much dejected great part of that 
 fpace of time that I am now fpeaking of, yet there 
 were many intermiiTions of his melancholy, and 
 fbme feafons of comfort, fvveet tranquillity and re- 
 iignation of mind, and frequent fpecial affiffance 
 in publick fervices, that he fpeaks of in his Diary. 
 The manner of his relief from hisforrow, once in par- 
 ticular, is worthy to be mentioned in his own words, 
 imhis Diary, for July 25, which are as follows : Had 
 little or no refolution for a life of holinefs ; was ready 
 almoft to renounce my hopes of living to God. And 
 O how dark it looked, to think of being unholy for- 
 ever ! This I could not endure. The cry of my foul 
 was that (Pfal. Ixv. 3,) Iniqut ties prevail againfi me* 
 But was in fome meafure relieved by a comfortable 
 meditation on God's eternity, that he never had a 
 beginning, &c. whence I was led to admire his great- 
 nefs and power, &c. in fuch a manner that I flood 
 ftill and pratfed the Lord for his own glories and 
 perfections ; though I was (and if I fhould forever 
 be) an unholy creature, my foul was comforted to 
 apprehend an eternal, infinite, powerful, holy God.] 
 
 Saturday, Jufy 30.— 'Juft at night, moved into my 
 own houle, and lodged there that night j found it 
 
 G much 
 
9& The LIFE of 
 
 much better fpending the time alone in my own 
 houfe, than in the wigwam where I was before. 
 
 Lord's Day, Ju/y 31. —Felt more comfortably than 
 fome days pafk BkfTed be the Lord, that has now 
 given me a place of retirement. O that I might 
 find God in it, and that he would dwell with me 
 forever. 
 
 Monday, Augufl 1 . — Was ftill bufy in further la- 
 bours on my houfe. Felt a little of the fweetnefs of 
 religion, and thought it was worth the while to fol- 
 low after God through a thoufand ' fnares, deferts, 
 and death itfelf. O that I might always follow af- 
 ter holinefs, that I may be fully conformed to God. 
 Had fome degree of fweetnefs, in fecret prayer, 
 though I had much forrow. 
 
 fVednefday, Augufl 3.— Spent moft of the day in 
 writing. Enjoyed fome fenfe of religion. Through 
 divine goodnefs I am now uninterruptedly alone ; and 
 find my retirement comfortable. I have enjoyed 
 more fenfe of divine things within a few days laft 
 paft, than for fome time before.. I longed after ho- 
 linefs, humility and meeknefs : O that God would 
 enable me to pafs the time of my fojourning here in his 
 fear, and always live to him. 
 
 Thurfday, Augufl 4. — Was enabled to pray much 
 through the whole day ; and through divine good- 
 nefs found fome intenfenefs of foul in the duty, as I 
 ufed to do, and fome ability to perfevere in my fup- 
 plications : Had fome apprehenftons of divine things, 
 that were engaging, and that gave me fome courage 
 and refolution. It is good, I find, to perfevere in at- 
 tempts to pray, if I cannot pray with perfeverance, 
 i. e. continue long in my addrelfes to the Divine 
 Being. I have generally found that the more I do 
 in fecret prayer, the more I have delighted to do, 
 and have enjoyed more of a fpirit of prayer ; and 
 frequently have found the contrary, when, with jour- 
 neying 
 
Mr. DAVID BR A I NERD. 99 
 
 neying or otherwife, I have been much deprived of 
 retirement. A feafonable fleady performance of fe- 
 cret duties in their proper hours, and a careful im- 
 provement of all time, filling up every hour with fome 
 profitable labour, either of heart, head, or hands, are 
 excellent means of fpiritual peace and boldnefs be- 
 fore God. Chrift indeed is our peace, and by him 
 we have boldnefs of accefs to God ; but a good con- 
 fcience, void of offence, is an excellent preparation for 
 an approach into the divine prefence. There is dif- 
 ference between felf confidence, and a felf righteous 
 pleafing ourfelves (with our own duties, attainments, 
 and fpiritual enjoyments) which godly fouls fome- 
 times are guilty of, and that holy confidence arifing 
 from the teftimony of a good confcience, which 
 good Hezekiah had when he fays, Remember, O Lord, 
 I befeech thee, how I have walked before thee in truth , 
 and with a perfect heart. Then (fays the holy Pfalm- 
 i&)JJoall I not be aflja?ned, when I have refpeel to all 
 thy commandments. Filling up our time with and 
 for God is the way to rife up and lie down in peace. 
 
 [The next eight days, he continued for the moll 
 part in a very comfortable frame, having his mind 
 fixed and fweetly engaged in religion; and more than 
 once blefTes God, that he had given him a little cot- 
 tage, where he might live alone, and enjoy a happy 
 retirement, free from noife and difturbance, and 
 could at any hour of the day lay afide all ftudies, and 
 fpend time in lifting up his foul to God for fpiritual 
 bleffings.] 
 
 Saturday, Augufi 13. — Was enabled in fecret 
 prayer to raife my foul to God, with defire and 
 delight. It was indeed a bleffed feafon to my 
 foul : I found the comfort of being a chriflian : 
 / counted the fuffe rings of the prefent life not worthy 
 to be compared with the glory of divine enjoyments, 
 even in this world. All my pafl forrows feemed 
 
 G % kindly 
 
too The LIFE of 
 
 kindly to difappear, and I remembered no more the for- 
 two *f or joy. O, how kindly, and with what a filial ten- 
 dernels, the foul hangs on, and confides in the Rock of 
 itges, at flich a feafon, that he will never leave it nor 
 forfake it, that he will caufe all things to work to- 
 gether for its good, &c. I longed that others mould 
 know how good a God the Lord is. My foul was 
 full of tendemefsahd love, even to the moft inveter- 
 ate of my enimieS : I longed they (hould Chare in 
 the fame mercy. 1 loved and longed that God fhould 
 do juft as he pleafed, with me and every thing elfe. 
 I felt exceeding ferious, calm and peaceful, and en- 
 couraged to prefs after holinefs as long as I live,, 
 whatever difficulties and trials may be in my way. 
 "May the Lord always help me fo to do. Amen, 
 and Amen f 
 
 Lord's Day, Anguji 14.-— I had much more free- 
 dom in publick, than in private. God enabled me 
 to fpeak with fome feeling fenfe of divine things y 
 tut perceived no confiderable effect. 
 
 Monday, Auguji 15. — Spent moil of the day in la- 
 bour to procure fomething to keep my horfe on in 
 the winter. Enjoyed not much fweetnefs in the 
 morning : Was very weak in body, through the day, 
 and thought this frail body would foon drop into the 
 duft : Had fome very realizing apprehensions of a 
 fpeedy entrance into another world. And in this 
 weak ftate of body, was not a little diftrefled for 
 want of fuitable food. Had no bread, nor could I 
 get any. I am forced to go or fend ten or fifteen 
 miles for all the bread I eat ; and fometimes it is 
 mouldy and four, before I eat it, if I get any con- 
 fiderable quantity : And then again I have none for 
 fome days together, for want of an opportunity to 
 fend for it, and cannot find my horfe in the woods 
 to go myfclf ; and this was my cafe now : But 
 through divine goodnefs I had fome Indian meal, of 
 
 which 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 101 
 
 which I made little cakes and fried them. Yet felt 
 contented with my circumftances, and fweetly refign- 
 ed to God. In prayer I enjoyed great freedom; 
 and bleiTed God as much for my prefent eircum- 
 ftances, as if I had been a king ; and thought, I found 
 a difpofition to be contented in any circumftances : 
 Blefled be God I 
 
 [The reft of this week, he was exceeding weak 
 in body and much exercifed with pain; and yet 
 obliged from day to day to labour hard, to procure 
 fodder for his horfe; excepting fome part of the 
 time he was fo very ill, that he was neither able to 
 work ncr ftudy : But fpeaks of longings after holi- 
 nefs and perfedt conformity to God ; complains of 
 enjoying but little of God; yet fays, that little was 
 better to him than all the world betides. In his Dia- 
 ry for Saturday „ he fays, he, was femething rnelan? 
 choly and forrowful in mind ; and adds, Ineverfeei 
 comfortably, but when I find my foul going for^ 
 after God : If I cannot be holy, I muft necefTarily rfb 
 miferable forever J 
 
 Lord's Day j Augujl%\> — Was much ftraiteried in 
 the forenoon exercife : My thoughts feemed to be 
 all fcattered to the ends of the earth. At noon I fell 
 down before the Lord, and groaned under my vile- 
 nefs, barrennefs, deadnefs, and felt as if I was guilty 
 of foul murder, in (peaking to immortal fouls in 
 fuch a manner as I had then done. In the afternoon, 
 God was pleafed to give me feme afliftance, and I 
 was enabled to fet before my hearers the nature and 
 neceility of true repentance, &c. Afterwards had 
 fome fmall degree of thankfulnefs. Was very ill 
 and full of pain in the evening ; and my foul mourn- 
 ed that I had fpent fo much time to {o little profit. 
 
 Monday, Augufl 22. — Spent mod of the day in 
 ftudy ; and found my bodily ftrength in a meafure 
 reftored. Had fome intenfe and paflionate breath- 
 
 G 3 ings 
 
loa The LIFE of 
 
 ings of foul after holinefs, and very clear manifefta- 
 tions of my utter inability to procure, or work it in 
 myfelf; it is wholly owing to the power of God. 
 O, with what tendernefs the love and defire of holi- 
 nefs fills the foul ! I wanted to wing out of myfelf, 
 to God ; or rather to get a conformity to him : But 
 alas, I cannot add to my fixture in grace one cubit. 
 However, my foul can never leave driving for it ; 
 or at lead groaning, that it cannot ftrive for it, and 
 obtain more purity of heart. At night, I fpent fome 
 time in inftrudting my poor people : O that God 
 would pity their fouls. 
 
 *£uefday, ^# < g7//?23»-^-Studied in the forenoon, and 
 enjoyed fome freedom. In the afternoon, laboured 
 abroad : Endeavoured to pray much ; but found not 
 much fweetnefs or intenfenefs of mind. Towards 
 night, was very weary, and tired of this world of 
 forrow : The thoughts of death and immortality ap- 
 peared very defirable, and even refrefhed my foul, 
 Thofe lines turned in my mind with pleafure. 
 
 Come, death, (hake hands ; I'll kifs thy bands ; 
 
 'Tis happinefs for me to die. 
 What ! doft thou think, that I will Ihrink ? 
 
 I'll go to immortality. 
 
 In evening prayer, God was pleafed to draw near 
 my foul, though very finful and unworthy : Was 
 enabled to wreflle with God, and to perfevere in my 
 requefts for grace : I poured out my foul for all the 
 world, friends and enemies. My foul was concern- 
 ed, not fo much for fouls as fuch, but rather for 
 Chrift's kingdom, that it might appear in the world, 
 that God might be known to be God, in the whole 
 earth. And O, my foul abhorred the very thought 
 of a party in religion ! Let the truth of God appear, 
 wherever it is ; and God have the glory forever. 
 Amen. This was indeed a comfortable feafon : I 
 thought I had fome fmall tafle of, and relifh for the 
 
 enjoyments 
 
Mr. DAVID BRA INERD. 103 
 
 enjoyments and employments of the upper world. 
 O that my foul was more attempered to it. 
 
 Wednefday, Auguji 24. — Spent fome time, in the 
 morning, in ftudy and prayer. Afterwards, was en- 
 gaged in fome necefTary bufinefs abroad. Towards 
 night, found a little time for fome particular itudies. I 
 thought if God mould fay, Ceafe making any pro- 
 vifion for this life, for you fhall in a few days go 
 out of time into eternity, my foul would leap for joy. 
 O that I may both defire to be dijfohed to be with 
 Chrijl, and like wife wait patiently all the days of my 
 appointed time until my change come. But alas, I am 
 .very unfit for the bufinefs and blelTednefs of heaven. 
 O for more holinefs. 
 
 Thurfday, Auguji 25..— Part of the day engaged m 
 fhidies and part in labour abroad. I find it is im- 
 pofllble to enjoy peace and tranquillity of mind with- 
 out a careful improvement of time. This is really 
 an imitation of God and Chrift Jefus : My Father 
 worketh hitherto, and I work, fays our Lord. But 
 ftill if we would be like God, we mult fee that we 
 fill up our time for him. I daily long to dwell in 
 perfect light and love. In the mean time my foul 
 mourns, that I make fo little progrefs in grace and 
 preparation for the world of blelTednefs : I fee and 
 know that I am a very barren tree in God's vineyard „ 
 and that he might juftly fay, Cut it down, &c. O 
 that God would make me more lively and vigor- 
 ous in grace, for his own glory ! Amen. 
 
 [The two next days, he was much engaged in fome 
 necefTary labours, in which he extremely fpenthim- 
 felf. He feems, thefe days, to have had a great fenfe 
 of the vanity of the world ; and continued longings 
 after holinefs, and more fervency of fpirit in the fer- 
 vice of God.] 
 
 Lord's Day, Auguji 28. — Was much perplexed 
 with fome irreligious Dutchmen. All their difcourfe 
 
 G4 turned 
 
104 The LIFE oj 
 
 turned upon the things of the world ; which was no 
 fmall exercife to my mind. O what a hell it would 
 be to fpend an eternity with fuch men ! Well might 
 David fay, / beheld the tranfgrejfors and was grieved. 
 But adored be God, heaven is a place, into which 
 no unclean thing enters. O, I long for the holinefs of 
 that world ! Lord, prepare me therefor. 
 
 [The next day, he fet out on a journey to New* 
 York. Was fomething dejected, the two firfb days 
 of his journey ; but yet feems to have enjoyed fome 
 degrees of the fenfible prefence of God.] 
 
 Wednefday, Auguji 31.— Rode down to Bethle- 
 hem : Was in a fweet, ferious, and, I hope, chrifr 
 tian frame, when I came there ; eternal things en-r 
 groffed all my thoughts ; and I longed to be in the 
 world of fpirits. O how happy it is, to have all 
 our thoughts fwallowed up in that world ; to feel 
 one's felf a ferious confederate ftranger in this world, 
 diligently feeking a road through it, the bed, the 
 fure road to the heavenly Jerufajem. 
 
 Thurfday, September 1 .—Rode to Danbiiry. Was 
 more dull and dejected in fpirit, than ycfterday. 
 Indeed, I always feel comfortably, when God real- 
 izes death and the things of another world to my 
 mind: Whenever my mind is taken off from the 
 things of this world, and fet on God, my foul is then 
 at reft. 
 
 [He went forward on his journey, and came to 
 New-York on the next Monday. And after tarry- 
 ing there two or three days, fet out from the city to*, 
 wards New-Haven, intending to be there at the com- 
 mencement ; and on Friday came to Horfe-Neck. 
 In the mean time, he complains much of dullnefs, 
 and want of fervour in religion : But yet from time 
 to time, fpeaks of his enjoying fpiritual warmth and 
 fweetnefs in converfation with chriftian friends, af- 
 fiftance in publick fer vices, Sec] 
 
 Saturday, 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. io$ 
 
 Saturday, September 10.— Rode fix miles to Stan- 
 wich, and preached to a confiderable affembly of 
 people. Had fome affiftance and freedom, efpec- 
 ially towards the clofe. Endeavoured much after- 
 wards, in private converfation, to eftablifh holinefs, 
 humility, meeknefs, &c. as the effence of true relig- 
 ion ; and to moderate fome noify fort of perfons, 
 that appeared to me to be acted by unfeen fpiritual 
 pride. Alas, what extremes men incline to run in- 
 to ! Returned to Horfe-Neck, and felt fome feriouf- 
 nefs and fweet folemnity in the evening. 
 
 Lord's Day, September u.— In the afternoon, 
 preached from Tit. iii. 8. I think God never help^ 
 ed me more in painting out true religion, and in de- 
 tecting clearly, and tenderly difcountenancing falfe 
 appearances of religion, wild fire, party zeal, fpirit- 
 ual pride, &c. as well as a confident dogmatical fpir- 
 jt, and its fpring, viz. ignorance of the heart. In the 
 evening, took much pains in private converfation to 
 fupprefs fome confufions, that I perceived were 
 amongft that people. 
 Monday, September 12— -Rode to Mr. Milk's at 
 Ripton. Had fome perplexing hours ; but was 
 fome part of the day very comfortable. It is through 
 great trials, I fee, that we muft enter the gates of 
 'paradife. If my foul could but be holy,that God might 
 not be dimonoured, methinks I could bear forrows. 
 Tuefday, September 13.— Rode to New-Haven. 
 Was fometimes dejected ; not in the fweeteft frame. 
 I find it very difficult maintaining any fenfe of divine 
 things, while removing from place to place, divert- 
 ed with new objects, and filled with care and bufi- 
 nefs. A fettled iteady bufinefs is beR adapted to a 
 life of ftricl: religion. 
 
 Wednejday, September 14. — This day I ought to 
 have taken my degree* j but God fees fit to deny it 
 
 me 
 
 * This being Commencement day. 
 
ro6 The LIFE of 
 
 me. And though I was greatly afraid of being over- 
 whelmed with perplexity and confufion, when I 
 fhould fee my clafsmates take theirs ; yet, in the 
 very feafon of it, God enabled me with calmnefs and 
 rerlgnation to fay, The will of the Lord be done. In- 
 deed, through divine goodnefs, I have fcarcely felt 
 my mind fo calm, fedate, and comfortable for fome 
 time. I have long feared this feafon, and expected 
 my humility, meeknefs, patience, and refignation,, 
 would be much tried : But found much more pleaf- 
 ure and divine comfort, than I expected. Felt fpir- 
 itually ferious, tender and affectionate in private 
 prayer with a dear chriftian friend to day. 
 
 Tburfday, September 15. — Had fome fatisfaction in 
 hearing the minifters difcourfe, &c. It is always a 
 comfort to me, to hear religious and fpintual dif- 
 courfe. O that minifters and people were more 
 fpiritual, and devoted to God. Towards night, 
 with the advice of chriftian friends, I offered the fol- 
 lowing reflections in writing, to the rector and truf- 
 teesof the college (which are for fubftance the fame 
 that I had freely offered to the rector before, and en- 
 treated him to accept) and this I did that if poffibk 
 I might cut off all occafionof ftumbling and offence, 
 from thofe that feek occafion. What I offered, is as 
 follows : 
 
 " Whereas I have faid before feveral perfons, con- 
 cerning Mr. Whittelfey, one of the tutors of Yale- 
 College, that I did not believe he had any more 
 grace than the chair 1 then leaned upon ; I humbly 
 confefs, that herein I have finned againft God, and 
 acted contrary to the rules of his word, and have in- 
 jured Mr. Whittelfey. I had no right to makethus 
 free with his character ; and had no juft reafon to 
 ,fayas I did concerning him. My fault herein was 
 the more aggravated, in that I faid this concerning 
 one that was fo much my fuperiour, and one that I 
 
 was 
 
Mr. DAVID BRA INERD. 107 
 
 was obliged to treat with fpecial refpect and honour, 
 by reafon of the relation I flood in to him in the col- 
 lege. Such a manner of behaviour, I confefs, did 
 not become a chriftian • it was taking too much up- 
 on me, and did not favour of that humble refpect, 
 that I ought to have exprefTed towards Mr. Whittel- 
 fey. I have long flnce been convinced ot the falfe- 
 nefs of thofe apprehensions, by which I then juftifi- 
 ed fuch a conduct. I have often reflected on this act 
 with grief,* 1 hope, on account of the fin of it ; 
 ! and am willing to lie low, and be abafed before God 
 and man, for it : And humbly, afk the forgivenefs 
 of the governours of the college, and of the whole 
 fociety ; but of Mr. Whittelfey in particular. And 
 whereas I have been accufed by one perfon of faying 
 concerning the Rev. rector of Yale-College, that I 
 wondered he did not expect to drop down dead for 
 fining the fcholars that followed Mr. Tennent to 
 Milford ; I ferioufly profefs, that I do not remem- 
 ber my faying anything to this purpofe. But if I 
 did, which I am not certain I did not, I utterly con- 
 demn it, and deleft all fuch kind of behaviour ; and 
 efpecially in an under graduate towards the rector. 
 And I now appear, to judge and condemn myfelf for 
 going once to the feparate meeting in New-Haven, 
 a little before I was expelled, though the rector had 
 refufed to give me leave. For this I humbly afk the 
 rector's forgivenefs. And whether the governours 
 of the college (hall ever fee caufe to remove the ac- 
 ademical cenfure I lie under, or no, or to admit me 
 to the privileges I defire ; yet I am willing to ap- 
 pear, if they think fit, openly to own, and to hum- 
 ble myfelf for thofe things I have herein confen r ed. ,> 
 God has made me willing to do any thing, that I 
 can do, confident with truth, for the fake of peace, 
 and that I might not be a (tumbling block and of- 
 fence to others. For this reafon 1 can cheerfully 
 
 forego , 
 
voS The LIFE of' 
 
 forego, and give up what I verily believe, after |bt 
 molt, mature and impartial fearch, is my right, in 
 fome inftances. God has given me that difpofuion, 
 that if this were the cafe, that a man has done me an 
 hundred injuries, and I (though ever fo much pro- 
 voked to it) have done him one, I feel difpofed, and 
 heartily willing humbly to confefs my fault to him, 
 and on my knees toafk forgivenefs of him ; though 
 at the fame time he fhould juftify himfelf in all the 
 injuries he has done me, and fhould only make 
 ufe of my humble confefTion to blacken my character 
 the more, and reprefent me as the only perfon guilty, 
 &c. Yea, though he mould as it were infult me, 
 and fay he knew all this before, and that I was mak- 
 ing work for repentance, &c. Though what I faid 
 concerning Mr. Whittelfey was only fpoken in pri- 
 vate, to a friend or two; and being partly overheard, 
 was related to the rector, and by him extorted from 
 my friends ; yet, feeing it was divulged and made 
 publick, I was willing to confefs my fault therein 
 publickly. But I truft, God will plead my caufe. 
 
 [The next day he went to Derby; then to South- 
 bury, where he fpent the Sabbath : And fpeaks of 
 fome fpiritual comfort ; but complains much of un- 
 fixednefs, and wanderings of mind in religion.] 
 
 Monday, September 19. — In the afternoon, rode to 
 Bethlehem, and there preached. Had fome meafure 
 of afliftance, both in prayer and preaching. I felt 
 ferious, kind and tender towards all mankind, and 
 longed thatholinefs might flourim more on earth. 
 
 Tuefday> September 20.— Had thoughts of going 
 forward on my journey to my Indians ; but towards 
 night was taken with a hard pain in my teeth, and 
 fhivering cold, and could not poffibly recover a com- 
 fortable degree of warmth the whole night following. 
 I continued very full of pain all night ; and in the 
 morning had a very hard fever, and pains almoft all 
 
 over 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINJERD. 109 
 
 over my whole body. I had a fenfe of the divine 
 goodnefs in appointing this to be the place of my lick- 
 nefs, viz. among my friends that were very kind to 
 me. I mould probably have perifhed, if I had firft 
 got home to my own houfe in the wildernefs, where 
 I have none to converfe with but the poor rude ig- 
 norant Indians. Here I faw was mercy in the midft 
 of affliction. I continued thus, moftly confined to 
 my bed, until Friday night ; very full of pain mofj: 
 of the time ; but through divine goodnefs not afraid 
 of death . Then the extreme folly of thofe appeared 
 to me, who put off their turning to God until a lick 
 bed. Surely this is not a time proper to prepare for 
 eternity. On Friday evening my pains went off 
 fomething fuddenly ; and I was exceeding weak, 
 and almoft fainted ; but was very comfortable the 
 night following. Thofe words Pfal. cxviii. 17, I 
 frequently revolved in my mind ; and thought we 
 were to prize the continuation of life only on this 
 account, that we may Jhew forth God's goodnefs and 
 works of grace. 
 
 [From this time, he gradually recovered : And 
 on the next Tuefday was fo well as to be able to go 
 forward on his journey homewards : But was until 
 the Tuefday following before he reached Kaunau- 
 meek. And feems, great part of this time, to have 
 had a very deep and lively fenfe of the vanity and 
 emptinefs of all things here below, and of the real- 
 ity, nearnefs and vaft importance of eternal things.] 
 Tuefday, Oclober 4. — This day rode home to my 
 own houfe and people. The poor Indians appear- 
 ed very glad of my return. Found my houfe and 
 all things in fafety. I prefently fell on my knees 
 and blefled God for my fafe return, after a long and 
 tedious journey, and a feafon of ficknefs in feverai 
 places where I had been, and after I had been lick 
 myfelf. God has renewed his kindnefs to me, in 
 
 prefer ving 
 
no The LIFE of 
 
 preferving me one journey more. I have taken ma- 
 ny confiderable journeys fince this time lait year, 
 and yet God has never fuffered one of my bones to 
 be broken, or any diftreffing calamity to befal me, 
 excepting the ill turn I had in my lad journey ; 
 though I have been often expofed to cold and hun- 
 ger in the wildernefs, where the comforts of life 
 were not to be had ; have frequently been loft in the 
 woods ; and fometimes obliged to ride much of the 
 night ; and once lay out in the woods all night. 
 BicfTed be God that has preferved me. 
 
 [In his Diary for the next eleven days, are great 
 complaints of diftance from God,fpiritual pride, cor- 
 ruption, and exceeding vilenefs. He once fays, his 
 heart was fo prelTed with a fenfe of his pollution, 
 that he could fcarcely have the face and impudence 
 (as it then appeared to him) to defire that God 
 mould not damn him forever. And at another time, 
 he fays he had fo little fenfe of God, orapprehenfion 
 and relifh of his glory and excellency, that it made 
 him more difpofed to kindnefs and tendernefs to- 
 wards thofe who are blind and ignorant of God and 
 things divine and heavenly.] 
 
 Lord's Day y OElober 16. — In the evening, God 
 was pleafed to giVe me a feeling fenfe of my own 
 unworthinefs ; but through divine goodnefs fuchas 
 tended to draw, rather than drive me from God : It 
 filled me with folemnity. I retired alone (having 
 at this time a friend with me) and poured out my 
 foul to God with much freedom ; and yet in an- 
 guifh, to find myfelf fo unfpeakably finful and un- 
 worthy before a holy God. Was now much resign- 
 ed under God's difpenfations towards me, though 
 my trials had been very great. But thought wheth- 
 er I could be refigned, if God fhould let the French 
 Indians come upon me, and deprive me of my life, 
 or carry me away captive (though 1 knew of no fpe- 
 
 cial 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. in 
 
 cial reafonthen to propofe this trial to myfelf, mort 
 thaa any other) and my foul feemed fo far to reft 
 and acquiefce in God, that the fling and terror of 
 thefe things feemed in a great meafure gone. Pref- 
 ently after I came to the Indians, whom I was teach- 
 ing to ring pfalm tunes that evening, I received the 
 following letter from Stockbridge, by a meffenger 
 fent on the Sabbath on purpofe, which made it ap- 
 pear of greater importance. 
 
 " Sir, Juft now we received advices from CoL 
 Stoddard, that there is the utmoft danger of a rup- 
 ture with France. He has received the fame from 
 his Excellency our Govern our, ordering him to give 
 notice to all the expofed places, that they may fe- 
 cure themfelves the bell they can againft any fudden 
 invafion. We thought befl to fend directly to Kau- 
 naumeek, that you may take the prudenteft meafures 
 for your fafety that dwell there. I am, Sir, &c." 
 
 I thought, upon reading the contents, it came in 
 a good feafon ; for my heart feemed fomething. fix- 
 ed on God, and therefore I was not much furprifed* 
 But this news only made me the more ferious, and 
 taught me that I mull not pleafe myfelf with any of 
 the comforts of life which I had been preparing for 
 my fupport. BleiTed be God, that gave me any in- 
 tenfenefs and fervency this evening. 
 
 Monday, October 17. — Had fome riling hopes 
 fometimes, that God would arife and have mercy on 
 Zion, fpeedily. My heart is indeed refrefhed, when 
 I have any prevailing hopes of Zion's profperity. 
 O that I may fee that glorious day, when Zion mall 
 become the joy of the whole earth ! Truly there is 
 nothing that I greatly value in this lower world. 
 
 [On Tuefday, he rode to Stockbridge; complains 
 of being much diverted, and having but little life. 
 On Wednefday, he exprefTes fome folemn fenfe of 
 divine things, and a longing to be always doing for 
 God with a godly frame of fpiritj 
 
 Saturday, 
 
 - 
 
%iz TheLIFEof 
 
 Saturday, OBober 22. — Had but little fenfible com- 
 munion with God. This world is a dark cloudy 
 manfion. O, when will the Sun of righteoufnefs 
 mine on my foul without cefTation or intermiilion. 
 
 Lord's Day, OBober 23. — In the morning, had a 
 little dawn of comfort ariling from hopes of feeing 
 glorious days in the church of God : Was enabled 
 to pray for fuch a glorious day with fome courage, 
 and ilrength of hope. In the forenoon, treated on 
 the glories of heaven, &c. In the afternoon, on the 
 miferies of hell, and the danger of going there. Had 
 fome freedom and warmth, both parts of the day. 
 And my people were very attentive. In the even- 
 ing, two or three came to me under concern for their 
 fouls ; to whom I was enabled to difcourfe clofely, 
 and with fome earneftnefs and defire. O that God 
 would be merciful to their poor fouls. 
 
 [He feems, through the whole of this week, to 
 have been greatly engaged to fill up every inch of 
 time in the fervice of God, and to have been mod: 
 diligently employed in fludy, prayer, and inftruct- 
 ing the Indians ; and from time to time expreffes 
 longings of foul after God, and the advancement of 
 his kingdom, and fpiritual comfort and refrefhment.] 
 
 Lord's Day, OBober 30. — In the morning enjoyed 
 fome fixednefs of foul in prayer, which was indeed 
 fweet and deferable : Was enabled to leave myfelf 
 with God, and to acquiefce in him. At noon, my 
 foul was refrefhed with reading Rev. iii. more efpec- 
 ially the nth and 12th verfes. O my foul longed 
 for that bleffed day, when I fhould dwell in the tem- 
 ple of God, and go no more out of his immediate pref- 
 ence ! 
 
 Monday, OBober 31 . — Rode to Kinderhook, about 
 fifteen miles from my place. While riding, I felt 
 fome divine fweetnefs in the thoughts of being a pil- 
 lar in the temple of God in the upper world, and be- 
 ing 
 
 h 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 113 
 
 ing no more deprived of his blelTed prefence and the 
 fenfeofhis favour, which is better than life. My 
 foul was fo lifted up to God, that I could pour out 
 my defires to him, for more grace and further de- 
 grees of fanctifkation, with abundant freedom. O, 
 I longed to be more abundantly prepared for that 
 bleffednefs, with which I was then in fome meafure 
 refreshed 1 Returned home in the evening ; but took 
 an extremely bad cold by riding in the night. 
 
 iLuefday, November 1. — Was very much diforder-' 
 ed in body, and fometimes full of pain in my face, 
 and teeth : Was not able to ftudy much, and had not 
 much fpiritual comfort. Alas, when God is with- 
 drawn, all is gone ! Had fome fweet thoughts which 
 I could not but write down, on the defign, nature, 
 and end of chriftianity. 
 
 Thurfday, November 2- — Spent this day in fecret 
 faffing and prayer from morning until night. Ear- 
 ly in the morning, had (I think) fome frnall degree 
 of aiiiftance in prayer. Afterwards, read the fiory 
 of Elijah the prophet, 1 Kings, xvii. xviii. and xix. 
 chapters, and alfo, 2 Kings ii. and iv. chapters. My 
 foul was much moved, obferving the faith, Zealand 
 power of that holy man ; how he wreftled with God 
 in prayer, &c. My foul then cried with Elifha, 
 Where is the Lord God of Elijah P O, I longed for 
 more faith ! My foul breathed after God, and plead- 
 ed with him, that a double portion of that fpirit y 
 which was given to Elijah, might reft on me. And 
 that which wjfcs divinely refreshing and ftrengthen- 
 ing to my foul, was, I law that God is the fame that 
 he was in the days of Elijah. Was enabled to wref- 
 tle with God by prayer, in a more affectionate, fer- 
 vent, humble, intenfeand importunate manner, than 
 I have for many months paft. Nothing feemed too 
 hard for God to perform ; nothing too great for me 
 to hope for from him. I had for many months en- 
 
 1 . H tirely 
 
:i4 The LIFE of 
 
 tirely loft all hopes of being made inftrumental of 
 doing any fpecial fervice for God in the world : It 
 has appeared entirely impoiTible, that one fo black 
 and vile fhould be thus improved for God : But at 
 this time God was pleafed to revive this hope. Af- 
 terwards read the iii. chap, of Exod. and on to the 
 xx. and favv more of the glory and majefty of God 
 difcovered in thofe chapters, than ever I had feen be- 
 fore ; frequently in the mean time falling on my 
 knees and crying to God for the faith of Mofes, and 
 for a manifeftation of the divine glory. Efpecially 
 the iii. and iv. and part of the xiv. and xv. chapters, 
 were unfpeakably fvveet to my foul : My foul blefT- 
 ed God, that he had fhewn himfelf fo gracious to 
 his fervants of old. The xv. chapter feemed to be 
 the very language which my foul uttered to God in 
 the feafon of my firft fpiritual comfort, when I 
 had juft got through the red fea, by a way that I had 
 no expectation of. O how my foul then rejoiced in 
 God ! And now thofe things came frefti and lively 
 to my mind ; now my foul blefled God afrem, that 
 he had opened that unthought of way to deliver me 
 from the fear of the Egyptians, when I almoft del- 
 paired of life. Afterwards read the ftory of Abra- 
 ham's pilgrimage in the land of Canaan : My foul 
 was melted, in obferving his faith, how he leaned 
 on God ; how he communed with God, and what 
 a ft ranger he was here in the world. After that, 
 read the ftory of Jofeph's fufferings, and God's good- 
 nefs to him : Blc.iTed God for thefe examples of faith 
 and patience. My foul was ardent in prayer, was 
 enabled to wreftk ardently for myfelf, for chriftian 
 friends, and for the church of God. And felt more de- 
 iire to fee the power of God in the converfion of fouls, 
 than I have done for a long feafon. Blefled be God for 
 this feafon of falling and prayer. May his goodnefs 
 always abide with me, and draw my foul to him. 
 
 Monday. , 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 115 
 
 Monday, November 7. — This morning, the Lord 
 afforded me fame fpecial afliftance in prayer : My 
 mind was. folemn, fixed, affectionate, and ardent in 
 defires after holinefs ; and felt full of tendemefs 
 and love ; and my affections feemed to be diffolved 
 into kindnefs and foftnefs. In the evening, enjoy- 
 ed the fame comfortable afiiftance in prayer, as in 
 the morning : My foul longed after God, and cried 
 to him with a filial freedom, reverence and boldnefs. 
 O that I might be entirely confecrated and devoted 
 to God. 
 
 [The two next days, he complains of bodily ill- 
 nefs and pain ; but much more of fpiritual barrcn- 
 . nefs and unprofitablenefs.] 
 
 Tburfday, November 10. — Spent this day in failing 
 and prayer alone. In the morning, was very dull 
 and lifelefs ; was fpmething melancholy and difcour- 
 aged. But after fome time, reading 2 Kings xix. 
 chapter, my foul was moved and affected ; efpecial- 
 ly reading verfe 14. and onward. I faw there was 
 no other way for the afflicted children of God to 
 take, but to go to God with all their forrows. Hez- 
 ekiah, in his great diftrefs, went and fpread his com- 
 plaint before the Lord. I was then enabled to fee 
 the mighty power of God, and my extreme need of 
 that power: Was enabled to cry to God affectionately 
 and ardently for his divine power and grace to be 
 exercifed towards me. Afterwards, read the ftory 
 of David's trials, and obferved the courfe he took 
 under them, how he ltrengthened his hands in God ; 
 whereby my foul was carried out after God, enabled 
 to cry to him and rely upon him, and felt Jirong in 
 the Lord. Was afterwards refreshed, obferving the 
 bleffed temper that was wrought in David by his 
 trials : All bitterneis and defire of revenge feemed 
 wholly taken away ; fo that he mourned for the 
 death of his enemies ; 2 Sam, i. 17, andiv. 9. ad fin. 
 
 H % Was 
 
u6 TheLIFEof 
 
 Was enabled to blefs God, that he had given me 
 fomcthing of this divine temper, that my foul free- 
 ly forgives, and heartily loves my enemies. 
 
 [It appears by his Diary for the remaining part of 
 this week, and for the two following weeks, that 
 great part of the time he was very ill and full of 
 pain ; and yet obliged through his circumftances, in 
 this ill ftate of body, to be at great fatigues, in la- 
 bour, and travelling day and night, and to expofe 
 himfelf, in ftormy and fevere feafons. He, from 
 time to time, within this fpace, fpeaks of outgoings 
 of foul after God j his heart ftrengthened in God * y 
 feafons of divine fweetnefs and comfort ; his heart 
 affected with gratitude for mercies, &c. And yet 
 there are many complaints of lifeleffnefs, weaknefs 
 of grace, diftance from God, and great unprofitable- 
 ness. But ft ill thereappears a conftant care, from day 
 to day, not tolofe time, but to improve it all for God.} 
 
 Lord's Day, November 27. — In the evening, was 
 greatly affected in reading an account of the very joy- 
 ful death of a pious gentleman ; which feemed to 
 invigorate my foul in God's ways : I felt courageous- 
 ly engaged to purfue a life of holinefs and felt deni- 
 al as long as I live ; and poured out my foul to God 
 for his help and aftiftance in order thereto. Eternity 
 then feemed near, and my foul rejoiced, and longed 
 to meet it. O, I truft, that will be a bleffed day, 
 that finifhes my toil here ! 
 
 Monday, November 28. — In the evening, was oblig- 
 ed to fpend time in company and converfation that 
 was unprofitable. Nothing lies heavier upon me, 
 than the miiimprovement of time. 
 • TuefJay, November 29. — Began to ftudy the Indian 
 tongue, with Mr Sargeant, at Stockbridge*. Was 
 
 perplexed 
 
 * The Commiflioners that employed him, had d^re&ed him to fpend much time 
 this winter wnh Mr. Sargeant, to learn the language of the Indians ; which neceffi. 
 tatcd him very often to ride, backwards and forwards, 20 miles through the 1 nin- 
 1 abited weeds between SLOckbndge and Kaunaumcck ; which many times expofed 
 him to extreme hardfhip in the fevcrc i'cafons of the winter, 
 
Mr. DAVID B R A I N E RD. 117 
 
 perplexed for want of more retirement. I love to 
 live alone in my own little cottage, where I can 
 fpend much time in prayer, &c. 
 
 Wednefday, November 30. — Purfued my ftudy of 
 Indian : But was very weak and difordered in body, 
 and was troubled in mind at the barrennefs of tho 
 day, that I had done fo little for God. I had fome 
 enlargement in prayer at night. O, a barn, or lia- 
 ble, hedge or any other place, is truly defirable, if 
 God is there ! Sometimes, of late, my hopes of Zi- 
 on's prosperity are more raifed, than they were in 
 the fummer paft. My foul feems to confide in God, 
 that he will yet Jbcw forth his falvationto his people, 
 and make Zion the joy of the whole earth. O how ex- 
 cellent is the loving kindnefs of the Lord ! My foul 
 fometimes inwardly exults at the lively thoughts of 
 what God has already done for his church, and what 
 mine eyes have feen of the falvation of God. It is 
 fweet, to hear nothing but fpiritual difcourfe from 
 God's children ; and {inners inquiring the way to 
 Zion, faying, What Jhdll 'we do,&e . P Othat I may fee 
 more of this bleffed work ! 
 
 Thurfday, December 1. — Both morning and even- 
 ing, I enjoyed fome intenfenefs of foul in prayer, and 
 longed for the enlargement of Chrifl's kingdom in 
 the world. My foul feems of late, to wait on God 
 for his blefling on Zion. O that religion might pow- 
 erfully revive ! 
 
 Friday, December 2. — Enjoyed not fomuch health 
 of body, or fervour of mind as yeltcrday. If the 
 chariot wheels move with cafe and fpeed at any- 
 time, for a fhort fpace ; yet by and by they drive 
 heavily again. O that I had the wings of a dove, 
 that I might fly away from fin and corruption, and 
 be at reft in God ! 
 
 Saturday, December 3. — Rode home, to my houfe 
 and people. Suffered much with the extreme cold, 
 
 H3 I 
 
nS The LIFE of 
 
 I truft, I fhall, before long, arrive fafeat myjourn ey *s 
 end, where my toils fhall ceafe. 
 
 Lord's Day, December 4. — Had but little fenfe of 
 divine and heavenly things. My foul mourns over 
 my barrennefs. O how fad is fpiritual deadnefs ! 
 
 Tuefday, December 6. — Was perplexed to fee the 
 vanity and levity of profeffed chnitians. Spent the 
 evening with a chriftian friend, that was able in 
 fome meafure to fympathize with me in my fpirit- 
 ual conflicts. Was a little refrefhed to find one with 
 whom I could converfe of inward trials, &c. 
 
 Wednefday, December 7. — Spent the evening in 
 perplexity, with a kind of guilty indolence. When 
 I have no heart or refolution for God and the duties 
 incumbent on me, I feel guilty of negligence and 
 mifimprovement of time. Certainly I ought to be 
 engaged in my work and bufinefs, to theutmolt ex- 
 tent of my flrength and ability. 
 
 Tburfday, December 8. — My mind was much dif- 
 fracted with different affections. Seemed to be at 
 -an amazing diftance from God : And looking round 
 in the world, to fee if there was not fome happiness 
 to be derived from it, God, and fome certain objects 
 in the world, feemed each to invite my heart and af- 
 fections ; and my foul feemed to be diftracted be- 
 tween them. 1 have not been fo much befet with 
 the world for a long time ; and that with relation to 
 fome particular objects which I thought my felfm oft 
 dead to. But even while I was deiiring to pleafe 
 myfelfwith any thing below, guilt, forrowand per- 
 plexity attended the firft motions of defire. Indeed 
 I cannot fee the appearance of pleafure and happi- 
 nefs in the world, as I ufed to do : And bleffed be 
 God for any habitual deadnefs to the world. I 
 found no peace, or deliverance from this diffraction 
 and perplexity of mind, until I found accefs to the 
 throne of grace : And as foon as I had any fenfe of 
 
 God 
 
Mr. DA VI D BR A I NERD. 119 
 
 God and things divine, the allurements of the world 
 vanifhed, and my heart was determined for God. 
 But my foul mourned over my folly, that I ihould 
 defire any pleafure, but only in God. God forgive 
 my fpiritual idolatry. 
 
 Saturday, December 24. — Had fome affiftance, and 
 longing deflres after fanc~tification, in prayer, this 
 day ; efpecially in the evening : Was fenflbleof my 
 own weaknefs and fpiritual impotency : Saw plain- 
 ly, I fhould fall into iin, if God of his abundant 
 mercy did not uphold my foul, and withhold me from 
 evil. O that God would uphold me by his free fpirit \ 
 and five me from the hour of temptation. 
 
 Lord's Day, December 25. — Prayed much, in the 
 morning, with a feeling fenfe of my own fpiritual 
 weaknefs and infufficiency for any duty. God gave 
 me fome affiftance in preaching to the Indians ; and 
 efpecially in the afternoon, when I was enabled to 
 fpeak with uncommon plainnefs, freedom, and earn- 
 cfmefs. BlelTed be God for any affiftance granted to 
 one fo unworthy. Afterwards felt fome thankful- 
 fulnefs ; but ftill fenflbleof barrennefs. Spent fome 
 time in the evening, with one or two perfons under 
 fpiritual concern, and exhorting others to their du- 
 ty, &c. 
 
 Monday, December 26. — Rode down to Stock- 
 bridge. Was very much fatigued with my journey, 
 wherein I underwent great hardfhip : Was much 
 expofed and very wet by falling into a river. Spent 
 the day and evening without much fenfe of divine 
 and heavenly things ; but felt guilty, grieved, and 
 perplexed with wandering carelefs thoughts. 
 
 Tuefday, December 27. — Had a fmall degree of 
 warmth in fecret prayer, in the evening: But, alas, 
 had but little fpiritual life, and confequently but lit- 
 tle comfort ! O, the prellureof a body of death ! 
 
 H 4 Wednefda\\ 
 
ISO 
 
 The LIFE of 
 
 Wednefday, December 28. — Rode about fix miles, 
 to the ordination of Mr. Hopkins. In the feafon 
 of the folemnity was fomewhat affected with a fenfe 
 of the greatnefs and importance of the work of a 
 minifter of Chrift. Afterwards was grieved to fee 
 the vanity of the multitude. In the evening, fpent 
 a little time with fome chriftian friends, with fome 
 degree of fatisfaction ; but molt of the time had 
 rather have been alone. 
 
 Tburfday, December 29. — Spent the day mainly in 
 converging with friends ; yet enjoyed little fatisfac- 
 tion, becaUfe I could find but few difpofed to con- 
 verfe of divine and heavenly things. Alas, what 
 are things of this world, to afford fatisfaction to the 
 foul! Near night, returned to Stockbridge ; in fecret 
 blefled God for retirement, and that I be not always 
 expofed to the company and converfation of the 
 world. Q that I could live in the fecret of God's pref 
 cnce ! 
 
 Friday, December 30. — Was in a folemn devout 
 frame in the evening. Wondered that earth with 
 all its charms, mould ever allure me in the lead: de- 
 gree. O that I could always realize the being and 
 holinefs of God. 
 
 Saturday, December 31. — Rode from Stockbridge, 
 home to my houfe : The air was clear and calm, 
 but as cold as ever I felt it in the world, or near. I 
 was in great danger of periiTiingby the extremity of 
 the feafon. Was enabled to meditate much on the 
 road. 
 
 Lord's Day, ^January 1, 1743,4. — In the morning, 
 had fome i'mall degree of afiiftance in prayer. Saw 
 myfelf fo vile and unworthy, that I could not look 
 my people in the face, when I came to preach. 
 O, my meannefs, folly, ignorance, and inward pollu- 
 tion ! In the evening, had a little afiiftance in prayer, 
 fo that the duty was delightfome, rather than bur- 
 
 denfome. 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. iat 
 
 denfome. Reflected on the goodnefsof God to mc in 
 the paftyear, &c. BlefTed be the Lord, that has carri- 
 ed me through all the toils, fatigues, and hardmips of 
 the year paft, as well as the fpirituul forrovvs and con- 
 flicts that have attended it. O that I could begin 
 this year with God, and fpend the whole of it to his 
 glory, either in life or death. 
 
 Monday, January 2.— Had fome affe&ing fenfe 
 of my own impotency and fpiritual weaknefs. It 
 is nothing but the power of God that keeps me from 
 all manner of wickednefs. I fee I am nothing, and 
 can do nothing without help from above. O, for di- 
 vine grace ! In the evening, had fome ardour ot foul 
 in prayer, and longing defires to have God for my 
 guide and fafeguard at all tin.es. 
 
 Wednefday, January 4.— Was in a refigned and 
 mortified temper of mind, much of the day. Time 
 appeared a moment, life a vapour, and all its enjoy- 
 ments as empty bubbles, and fleeting blafts of wind. 
 
 Thar/day, January 5. — Had a humbling and prefix- 
 ing fenfe of my un worth inefs. My fenfe of the 
 badnefs of my own heart filled my foul with bitter- 
 nefs and anguifli ; which was ready to fink, as un- 
 der the weight of a heavy burden. And thus fpent 
 the evening, until late. Was fomewhat intenfe and 
 ardent in prayer. 
 
 Friday, January 6. — Feeling and confidering my 
 extreme weaknefs, and want of grace, the pollution 
 ot my foul, and danger of temptations on every fide, 
 I fet apart this day for failing and prayer, neither 
 eating nor drinking from evening, to evening, be- 
 feeching God to have mercy on me. And my foul 
 intenfely longed, that the dreadful fpots and {fains of 
 . iin might be warned away from it. Saw fomething 
 of the power and all fufficiency of God. My foul 
 fecmed to reft on his power and grace ; longed for 
 resignation to his will, and mortification to all things 
 
 here 
 
iiz The LIFE of 
 
 here below. My mind was greatly fixed on divine 
 things : My refolutions for a life of mortification, 
 continual watchfulnefs, felf denial, ferioufnefs, and 
 devotion to God, were ftrong and fixed ; my defires 
 ardent and intenfe ; my confcience tender, and afraid 
 of every appearance of evil. My foul grieved with 
 the reflection on pad: levity, and want of refolution 
 for God. Ifolemnly renewed my dedication of my- 
 felf to God, and longed for grace to enable me al- 
 ways to keep covenant with him. Time appeared 
 very fhort, eternity near ; and a great name, either 
 in or after life, together with all earthly pleafures 
 and profits, but an empty bubble, a deluding dream. 
 
 Saturday, January 7. — Spent this day in feriouf- 
 nefs, with ftedfaft refolutions for God and a life of 
 mortification. Studied clpfely, until I felt my bod- 
 ily ftrength fail. Felt fome degree of relignation to 
 . God, with an acquiefcence in his difpenfations. Was 
 grieved, that I could do {o little for God before my 
 bodily ftrength failed. In the evening, though tired, 
 yet was enabled to continue inftant in prayer for 
 fome time. Spent the time in reading, meditation, 
 and prayer, until the evening was far fpent : Was 
 grieved, to think that I could not watch unto prayer 
 the whole night. But bleffed be God, heaven is a place 
 of continual and inceflant devotion, though earth is 
 dull. 
 
 [The fix days following, he continued in the 
 fame happy frame of mind ; enjoyed the fame com- 
 pofure, calmnefs, refignation, ardent defire and fweet 
 fervency of fpirit, in a high degree, every day, not 
 one excepted. Thurfday, this week, he kept as a 
 day of fecret failing and prayer.] 
 
 Saturday, January 14. — This morning, enjoyed a 
 mod folemn feafon in prayer : My foul feemed en- 
 larged and afiiited to pourout itfelf to God for grace, 
 and for every blefli ng I wanted, -for my felf, my dear 
 
 chriftian 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 123 
 
 chriftian friends, and for the Church of God ; and 
 was ib enabled to fee him who is invijible, that my 
 foul retted upon him for the performance of every- 
 thing I afked agreeable to his will. It was then my 
 happinefs to continue inftant in prayer, and was en- 
 abled to continue in it for near an hour. My foul 
 was then flrong in the Lord and in the power of his 
 might : Longed exceedingly for angelick holinefs 
 and purity, and to have all my thoughts, at all times, 
 employed in divine and heavenly things. O how 
 blefled is an heavenly temper ! O how unfpeakably 
 blefled it is, to feel a meafure of that rectitude, in 
 which we were at firft created ! Felt the fame di- 
 vine afliftance in prayer fundry times in the day. My 
 foul confided in God for myfelf, and for his Zion ; 
 trufted in divine power and grace, that he would do 
 glorious things in his church, on earth, for his own 
 glory. 
 
 Monday, January 23. — [At Salifbury] I think I 
 never felt more refigned to God, nor [o much dead 
 to the world, in every refpe<5t, as now : Was dead 
 to all defire of reputation and greatnefs, either in life 
 or after death : All I longed for, was to be holy, 
 humble, crucified to the world, &c 
 
 Tueflay, January 24. — Near noon, rode over to Ca- 
 naan. In the evening, was unexpectedly vifited by a 
 considerable number of people, with whom I was en- 
 abled to converle profitably of divine things : Took 
 pains to defcribe the difference between a regular and 
 irregular felf love : The one con filling wit h a iiipremc 
 love to God, but the other not ; the former uniting 
 God's glory and the foul 's happinefs, that they become 
 one common if tereft, but the latter disjoining and 
 feparating God's glory and the man's happinefs, 
 feeking the 'latter with a neglect of the former. 
 Illultrated this by that genuine love that is found be- 
 tween the fexes ; which is diverfe from that which 
 
 is 
 
124 The LIFE of 
 
 is wrought up towards a perfon only by rational ar- 
 guments, or hope of ielf intereil. Love is a pleaf- 
 ing paffion, it affords pleafure to the mind where it 
 is; but yet true genuine love is not nor can be placed 
 upon any object with that defign of pleafing itfelf 
 with the feeling of it in a man's own breaft. 
 
 [On Wednefday, he rode to Sheffield ; the next 
 day, to Stockbridge ; and on Saturday, home to 
 Kaunaumeek, though the feafon was cold and 
 itormy : Which journey was followed with illnefs 
 and pain. It appears by his Diary, that he fpent 
 the time, while riding, in profitable medita- 
 tions, and in lifting up his heart to God ; and he 
 fpeaks of afliftance, comfort, and refrefhment j but 
 ftill complains of barrennefs, &c. His Diary for 
 the five next days is full of the moh: heavy bitter 
 complaints ; and he exprefles himfelf as full of 
 ihame and ielf loathing for his lifelefs temper of 
 mind and fluggifhnefs of fpirit.] 
 
 Thurfday y February 2. — Spent this day in falling 
 and prayer, feeking the prefence and affiftance of 
 God, that he would enable me to overcome all my 
 corruptions and fpiritual enemies. 
 
 Friday, February 3. — Enjoyed more freedom and 
 comfort than of late ; was intenfely engaged in med- 
 itation upon the different whifpers of the various 
 powers and affections of a pious mind, exerciled 
 with a great variety of difpenfations : And could not 
 but write as well as meditate on i'o entertaining a 
 fubjecl:. I hope the Lord gave me forne true fenfe 
 of divine things this day : But alas, how great an 
 preffing are the remains of indwelling corruption ! 
 
 c. that th( 
 
 I am now more ienfible than ever,.tkat God alone, i 
 the author and finijher of our faith j i, 
 whole and every part of fanclificati#n, and every., 
 good word, work, or thought, that is found in me, I 
 is theeflecl: of his power and grace ; that without him* 
 
 I 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 125 
 
 I can do nothing, in the ftri&eft fenfe ; and that he 
 works in us to will and to do of his own good pleafure* 
 and from no other motive. O, how amazing it is 
 that people can talk fo much about men's power 
 and goodnefs ; when, if God did not hold us back 
 every moment, we mould be devils incarnate ! This 
 my bitter experience, for feveral days lair, part, has 
 abundantly taught me concerning myfelf. 
 
 Saturday, February 4. — Enjoyed fome degree of 
 freedom and fpintual rcfrefhment ; was enabled to 
 pray with fome fervency, and longing derires of Zi- 
 on's profperity ; and my faith and. hope feemed to 
 take hold of God, for the performance of what I was 
 enabled to plead for. Sandtification in myfelf, and 
 the ingathering of God's elect, was all my defirc 5 
 and the hope of its accomplishment, all my joy. 
 
 Lord's Day, February 5. — Was enabled in fome 
 meafure to reft and confide in God, and to prize his 
 prefence and fome glimpfes of the light of his coun- 
 tenance, above my neceffary food. Thought my- 
 felf,. after the feafon of weaknefs, temptation, and 
 defertion I endured the laft week, to be fomewhat like 
 Sampfon when his locks began to grow again. Was 
 enabled to preach to my people with more life and 
 warmth, than I have for fome weeks paft. 
 
 Monday, February 6. — This morning my foul a- 
 gain was Strengthened in God, and found fomefweet 
 repofe in him in prayer : Longing efpecially for the 
 complete mortification of fenfuality and pride, and 
 for refignation to God's difpenfations, at all times, 
 as through grace I felt it at this time. I did not defire 
 deliverance from any difficulty, that attends my cir- 
 cumftances, urilefs God was willing. O how com- 
 fortable is this temper ! Spent moil of the day in 
 reading God's word, in writing and pra5^er. Enjoy- 
 ed repeated and frequent comfort, and intenfenefs of 
 foul in prayerthrough the day, In the evening, fpent 
 
 fome 
 
i26 The LIFE of 
 
 fome hours in private converfation with my people : 
 And afterwards, felt fome warmth in fecret prayer. 
 Tuejday, February 7. — Was much engaged in fome 
 fweet meditations on the powers and affections of 
 the godly foul in their purfuit of their beloved object : 
 Wrote fomething of the native language of fpiritual 
 fenfation, in its foft and tender whifpers ; declar- 
 ing, that it now feels and tafles that the Lord is 
 gracious ; that he is the fupreme good, the on- 
 ly foul fatisfying happinefs ; that he is a com- 
 plete, fufficient, and almighty portion ; laying, 
 " Whom have I in heaven but thee ? And there is 
 none upon earth that I dejire, bejides this bleffed por- 
 tion. O, I feel it is heaven to pleafe him, and to 
 be juff. what he would have me to be ! O that 
 my foul were holy, as he is holy I O that it were pure 
 even as Chrifi is pure ; and perfect as my Father in 
 heaven is per/eel ! Thefe, I feel, are the fweeteft com- 
 mands in God's book, comprifing all others. And 
 fhall I break them ! Muff I break them ! Am I un- 
 der a neceffity of it as long as I live in the world ! 
 
 my foul, wo, wo is me that I am a {inner, becaufe 
 
 1 now neceffarily grieve and offend this bleffed God, 
 who is infinite in goodnefs and grace ! O, methinks, 
 if he would puniih me for my fins, it would not 
 wound my heart fo deep to offend him : But though 
 I fin continually, yet he continually repeats his kind- 
 nefs to me ! O methinks I could bear any fuffering; 
 but how can I bear to grieve and dishonour this bleffed 
 God ! How fhall I yield ten thoufand times more 
 honour to him ? What fhall I do to glorify and wor- 
 fliip this bell: of beings ? O that I could confecrate 
 myfelf, foul and body, to his fervice forever. O 
 that I could give up myfelf to him fo as never more to 
 attempt robe my own, or to have any will or affections 
 that are not perfectly conformed to him. But alas, 
 alas, I find I cannot be thus entirely devoted to God: 
 
 I 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 127 
 
 I cannot live and not fin. O ye angels, do ye glorify 
 him incefTantly; and if poffible, proftrate yourfelves 
 lower before the blefifed king of heaven. 1 long to 
 bear a part with you ; and, if it were poffible, to 
 help you. O when we have done all that we can to 
 all etetnity, we fhall not be able to offer the ten thou- 
 fandth part of the homage that the glorious God 
 deferves !" 
 
 Felt fomething fpiritual, devout, refigned and 
 mortified to the world, mucbof theday ; andefpecial- 
 ]y towards and in the evening. BlefTed be God, that 
 he enables me to love him for himfelf. 
 
 Wednefday, February 8. — Was in a comfortable 
 frame of foul moll: of the day ; though fenfible of 
 and reillefs under fpiritual barrennefs. I find that 
 both mind and body are quickly tired with intenfe- 
 n-efs and fervour in the things of God. O that I 
 could'beas inceiTantas angels in devotion and fpirit- 
 ual fervour. 
 
 [The following day he fpent as a day of faffing 
 and prayer ; and the two next he appears to have 
 been under fome depreilion,] 
 
 hordes Day, February 12. — My foul feemed to con- 
 fide in God, and to repofe itielf on him ; and had 
 outgoings of ioul after God in prayer. Enjoyed 
 fome divine ailiitance, in the forenoon, in preaching; 
 but in the afternoon, was more perplexed with fhame, 
 &c. Afterwards, found fome relief in prayer : Lov- 
 ed, as a feeble, afflicted, defpifed creature, to cafl my- 
 felf on a God of infinite grace and goodnefs, hop- 
 ing for no happinefs but from him. 
 
 Monday, February 13. — Was calm and fedate in 
 morning devotions ; and my foul feemed to rely on 
 God. Rode to Stockbridge, and enjoyed fome com- 
 fortable meditations by the way : Had a more re- 
 freshing tafte and reliili of heavenly bleffednefs, 
 thaal have enjoyed for many months paif. I have 
 
 manv 
 
128 .The LIFE of 
 
 many times of Jate, felt as ardent defires of holinefs 
 as ever : But not fo much fenfe of the fweetnefs and 
 unfpeakable pleafure of the enjoyments and employ- 
 ments of heaven. My foul longed to leave earth, 
 and bear a part with angels in their celeftial employ- 
 ments. My foul faid, Lord, it is good to be here ; 
 and it appeared to me better to die, than to lofe the 
 relifli of thefe heavenly delights. 
 
 [A fenfe of divine things feemed to continue with 
 him, in a leffer degree, through the next day. On 
 Wednefday he was, by fome difcourfe that he heard, 
 caft into a melancholy gloom, that operated much 
 in the fame manner as his melancholy had formerly 
 done, when he came fir ft to Kaunaumeek ; the ef- 
 fects of which feemed to continue in fome degree 
 the fix following days.] 
 
 Wednefday, February 22. — In the morning, had as 
 clear a fenfe of the exceeding pollution of my nature, 
 as ever I remember to have had in my life. 1 then 
 appeared to myfelf inexpreflibly loathfome, and de- 
 filed : Sins of childhood, of early youth, and fuch fol- 
 lies as I had not thought of for years together, (as I 
 remember) came now frefli to my view, as if com- 
 mitted but yefterday, and appeared in the moft odi- 
 ous colours : They appeared more in number than 
 the hairs of my head : Yea, they went over my head 
 as an heavy burden. In the evening, the hand of faith 
 feemed to be ftrengthened in God : My foul feem- 
 ed to reft and acquiefce in him : Was fupported un- 
 der my burdens, reading the exxv. Pfalm : Found 
 that it was fweet and comfortable to lean on God. 
 
 Friday, February 24. — Was exceeding reftlei's and 
 perplexed under a fenfe of the miiimprovement of 
 time ; mourned to fee time pafs away ■ felt in the 
 greateft hurry ; feemed to have every thing to do : 
 Yet could do nothing, but only grieve and groan 
 under my ignorance, unprofitablenefs, meannefs, the 
 
 foolilhncfs 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 129 
 
 foolifhnefs of my actions and thoughts, the pride 
 and bitternefs of my pall: frames (at fome times, at 
 leaft) all which at this time appeared to me in lively 
 colours, and filled me with fhame. I could not com- 
 pofe my mind to any profitable ftudies, by reafon of 
 this ; preiTure. 
 
 [He continued in much the fame frame of unea- 
 iinefs at the mifimprovement of time, and prefllire 
 of fpirit under a fenfe of vilenefs, unprofitablenefs, 
 &c. for the fix next following days ; excepting 
 fome intervals of calmnefs and compofure, in refig- 
 nation to and confidence in God.] 
 
 Friday , March 2. — Was moft of the day employed 
 in writing on a divine fubjecl:* Was frequent tja, 
 prayer, and enjoyed fome fmall degree of alii fiance. 
 But in the evening, God was pleafed to grant me 
 a divine fweetnefs in prayer ; efpecially in the duty 
 of interceiTion. I think I never felt fo much kind- 
 nefs and love to thofe who I have reafon to think are 
 my enimies, (though at that time I found fuch a dif- 
 pofition to think the beft of all, that I fcarce knew 
 how to think that any fuch thing as enmity and ha- 
 tred lodged in any foul j it feemed as if all the world 
 mufr. needs be friends) and never prayed with more 
 freedom and delight, for myfelf, or deareft friend, 
 than I did now for my enemies. 
 
 Saturday, March 3. — In the morning fpent, I be- 
 lieve, an hour in prayer, with great incenfenefs and 
 freedom, and with the moft foft and tender affection 
 towards mankind , I longed that thofe who I have 
 reafon to think owe me ill will, might be eternally 
 happy : It feemed refrefhing, to think of meeting 
 them in heaven, how much foever they had in- 
 jured me on earth : Had no difpoiifion to infift uj 
 on any confeffion from them, in order to reconcilia- 
 tion and the exercife of love and kiadnefs to them. 
 O it is an emblem of heaven itfelf, to love all the 
 
 I world 
 
130 The LIFE of 
 
 world with a love of kindnefs, forgivenefs, and be- 
 nevolence. Prayer was fo fweet an exercife to me, 
 that I knew not how to ceafe, left I fliould lofe the 
 fpirit of prayer. Felt no difpofition to eat or drink 
 for the fake of the pleafijre of it, but only to fupport 
 my nature, and fit me for divine fervice. 
 
 Lord's Day, March 4.— In the morning enjoy- 
 ed the fame intenfenefs in prayer as yefterday morn- 
 ing ; though not in fo great a degree : Felt the fame 
 fpirit of love, univerfal benevolence, forgivenefs, hu- 
 mility, resignation, mortification to the world, and 
 compofure of mind, as then. My foul re/led in God y 
 and I found I wanted no other refuge or friend. — 
 While my foul thus trufts in God, all things feem 
 to be at peace with me, even the {tones of the 
 earth : But when I cannot apprehend and con- 
 fide in God, all things appear with a different af- 
 pect. 
 
 [Through the four next days he complains of bar- 
 rennefs, want of holy confidence in God, ftupidity, 
 wanderings of mind, &c. and fpeaks of oppreflion of 
 mind under a fenfe of exceeding meannefs, paft fol- 
 lies, as well as prefent workings of corruption. On 
 Friday, he feems to have been reftored to a consider- 
 able degree of the fame excellent frame that he en- 
 joyed the Saturday before.] 
 
 Saturday, March 10. — In the morning, felt exceed- 
 ing dead to the world and all its enjoyments : I thought 
 I was ready and willing to give up life and all 
 its comforts, as foon as called to it : And yet then 
 had as much comfort of life as almoft ever I had. 
 Life itfelf now appeared but an empty bubble : The 
 riches, honours, and common enjoyments of life ap- 
 peared extremely taftelefs. I longed to be perpetual- 
 ly and entirely crucified to all things here below, by 
 the crofs of Chrifi. My foul was fweetly refigned 
 to God's difpof al of me, in every regard ; and I law, 
 
 there 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 131 
 
 there had nothing happened to me but what wasbefl 
 for me. I confided in God, that he would never 
 leave me> though I fhould walk through the valley of 
 the jhadow of death. It was then my meat and drink 
 to be holy, to live to the Lord, and die to the Lord : 
 And I thought that I then enjoyed fuch a heaven as 
 far exceeded the moil fublime conceptions of an un- 
 regenerate foul ; and even unfpeakably beyond what 
 I myfelf could conceive of at another time. I did 
 not wonder that Peter faid, Lord, it is good to be Bere y 
 when thus refrefhed with divine glories. My foul 
 was full of love and tendernefs in the duty of inter- 
 ceffion ; efpecially felt a molt fweet affection to fome 
 precious godly minifters, of my acquaintance. 
 Prayed earneftly for dear chriilians, and for thofe I 
 have reafon to fear are my enemies : And could not 
 jjhave fpoken a word of bitternefs, or entertained a 
 bitt-er thought againfl the vileft man living. Had a 
 fenfe of my own great unworthinefs. My foul feem- 
 ed to breathe forth love and praife to God a- 
 frefh, when 1 thought he would let his children 
 love and receive me as one of their brethren and 
 fellow citizens : And when I thought of their 
 treating me in that manner, I longed to lie at 
 their feet ; and could think of no way to exprefs: 
 the fincerity and fimplicity of my love and ef- 
 teem of them, as being much better than my- 
 felf. 
 
 Lord*s Day, March II. — My foul was in fome 
 meafure Jlrengthened in God, in morning devotion ; 
 ib that I was releafed from trembling, fear and dif- 
 trefs. Preached to my people from the parable of 
 the fower, Matth. xiii. And enjoyed fome aflift- 
 ance, both parts of the day : Had fome freedom, 
 affection, and fervency in addrefling my poor peo- 
 ple ; longed that God mould take hold of their hearts, 
 and make them fpiritually alive. And indeed I had 
 
 1 2 £o 
 
132 The LIFE of 
 
 fo much to fay to them that I knew not how to 
 leave off f peaking*. 
 
 Monday, March 12. — In the morning was in a de- 
 vout, tender, and loving frame of mind ; and was 
 enabled to cry to God, I hope, with a child like 
 fpirit, with importunity, and refignation, and com- 
 pofure of mind. My fpirit was full of quietnefs, 
 and love to mankind ; and longed that peace fliould 
 reign on the earth : Was grieved at the very thoughts 
 of a fiery, angry and intemperate zeal in religion ; 
 mourned over pad: follies in that regard ; and my 
 foul confided in God for itrength and grace fuffi- 
 cient for my future work and trials. Spent the day 
 mainly in hard labour, making preparation for my 
 intended journey. 
 
 Tuefday, March 13. — Felt my foul going forth af- 
 ter God fometimes ; but not with fuch ardency as I 
 longed for. In the evening, was enabled to contin- 
 ue inftant in prayer, for fome confiderable time to- 
 gether ; and efpecially had refpect to the journey I 
 defigned to enter upon, with the leave of Divine 
 Providence, on the morrow. Enjoyed fome freedom 
 and fervency, entreating that the divine prefence 
 might attend me in every place where my bufinefs 
 might lead me ; and had a particular reference to 
 the trials and temptations that I apprehended I might 
 be more eminently expofed to in particular places. 
 Was ftrengthened and comforted ; although I was 
 before very weary. Truly the joy of the Lord is 
 jlrength and life. 
 
 Wednefday, March 14. — Enjoyed fome intenfenefs 
 of foul in prayer, repeating my petitions for God's 
 prefence in every place where I expected to be in 
 my journey. Befought the Lord that I might not 
 
 be 
 
 * This •^■'.s the laft Sabbath that ever he performed publick fervice at Kaunaumeek, 
 and theie the laft fermons that ever he pi cached ...ihcrc. It appears by his Diary, 
 that while he continued with thefe Indians, he took, great pains with them, and 
 did it with much difcreUon \ but the particular manner how, has been omitted for 
 brevity's fake. 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 133 
 
 be too much pleafed and amufed with dear friends 
 and acquaintance, in one place and another. Near 
 ten fet out on my journey, and near night came to 
 Stockbridge. 
 
 Tburfday, March 15. — Rode down to Sheffield. 
 Here I met a meflenger from Eaft-Hampton, oh 
 Long-Ifland ; who, by the unanimous vote of that 
 large town, was lent to invite me thither, in order 
 to fettle with that people, where I had been before 
 frequently invited. Seemed more at a lofs what 
 was my duty than before. When I heard of the 
 great difficulties of that place, I was much concern- 
 ed and grieved, and felt fome defires to comply with 
 their requeif. ; but knew not what to do : Endeav- 
 oured to commit the cafe to God. 
 
 Lord's Day, March 18. — [At Salifbury.] Was ex- 
 ceeding weak and faint, fo that I could fcarce walk : 
 But God was pleafed to afford me much freedom, 
 clearnefs and fervency in preaching : I have not had 
 the like affiltance in preaching to hnners for many 
 months part. Here another mefTenger met mc, 
 and informed me of the vote of another congrega- 
 tion, to give me an invitation to come among them 
 upon probation for fettlement*. Was fomething 
 exercifed in mind with a weight and burden of care. 
 O that God would fend forth faithful labourers into 
 his harvefl. 
 
 [After this, he went forward on his journey to- 
 wards New-York and New-Jerfey ; In which he 
 proceeded flowly ; performing his journey under 
 great degrees of bodily indifpofltion. However, 
 he preached feveral times by the way, being urged 
 by friends ; in which he had confiderable afiiftance. 
 He i peaks of comfort in converfation with chriftian 
 friends horn time to time, and of various things in 
 
 1 3 the 
 
 * Tin's congregation was that at Millington, srar fladdajn, Thty were vr.r; 
 sanidllv demons of his cuming araung thrir.. 
 
134 The LIFE, of 
 
 the exqrcifes and frames of his heart, that fhew 
 much of a divine influence on his mind in this 
 journey.] 
 
 Thurfday, April 5. — Was again much exercifed 
 with weaknefs, and with pain in my head. At- 
 tended on the commiflioners in their meeting*. Re- 
 folved to goon ftill with the Indian affair, if Divine 
 Providence permitted ; although I had before felt 
 fome inclination to go to Eaft-Hampton, where I 
 was folicited to go. 
 
 [After this he continued two or three days in the 
 Jerfeys, very ill ; and then returned to New- York ; 
 and from thence into New-England ; and went to 
 his native town of Haddam : Where he arrived on 
 Saturday, April 14. And he continues ftill his bit- 
 ter complaints of want of retirement. While he 
 w T as in New-York, he fays thus, O, it is not the 
 pleafures of the world can comfort me ! If God deny 
 his prefence, what are the pleafures of the city to 
 me ? One hour of fweet retirement where God is, 
 is better than the whole world. And he continues 
 to cry out of his ignorance, meannefs, and unwor- 
 thinefs. However, he fpeaks of fome feafons of 
 fpecial afhftance and divine fweetnefs. He fpent 
 fome days among his friends at Eaft-Hampton, and 
 Millington.] 
 
 Tuefday, April 17.— Rode to Millington again ; 
 and felt perplexed when I fet out ; was feeble in 
 body, and weak in faith. I was going to preach a 
 lecture ; and feared I fhould never have ailiftance 
 enough to get through. But contriving to ride alone 
 at a diftance from the company that was going, I 
 
 fpent 
 
 * The Indians at Kaunaumeek being but few in number, and Mr. Brainerd having 
 now been labouring among them about a year, and having prevailed upon them to 
 be willing to leave Kaunaumeek, and remove to Stockbrid^c, to live conftantly un- 
 der Mr. Sargeant's miniftry ; he thought he might now do more fcrvice for Chrift 
 among the Indians eliewhere : And therefore went this journey to Ncw-Jerfey to 
 lay the matter before the commiffioners ; who met at Elizabeth-Town, on this oc- 
 cafion, and determined that he fhould forthwith leave Kaunaumeek, and go to the 
 Delawa-re Indians. 
 
Mr. DAVID BRA INERD. 135 
 
 fpent the time in lifting up my heart to God : Had 
 not gone far before my foul was abundantly ftrength- 
 ened with thofe words, If God be for us, who can be 
 againji us P I went on, confiding in God ; and fear- 
 ing nothing i'o much as felf confidence. In this 
 frame I went to the houfe of God, and enjoyed fome 
 afliftance. Afterwards felt the fpirit of love and 
 meeknefs in converfation with fome friends. Then 
 rode home to my brother's : And in the evening, 
 ringing hymns with friends, my foul feemed to melt: 
 And in prayer afterwards, enjoyed the exercife of 
 faith, and was enabled to be fervent in fpirit : Found 
 more of God's prefence, than I have done any time 
 in my late wearifome journey. Eternity appeared 
 very near : My nature was very weak, and feemed 
 ready to be diffolved : The fun declining, and the 
 fhadows of the evening drawing on apace. O I 
 longed to fill up the remaining moments all for God f 
 Though my body was i'o feeble, and wearied with 
 preaching, and much private converfation, yet I 
 wanted to fit up all night to do fomething for God. 
 To God, the giver of thefe refreshments, be glory 
 forever and ever : Amen. 
 
 [After this, he vifited feveral minifters in Connec- 
 ticut ; and then travelled towards Kaunaumeek, and 
 came to Mr. Sargeant's at" Stockbridge, Thurfday, 
 April 26. He performed this journey in a very weak 
 flate of body.] 
 
 Friday, and Saturday, April 27, and 28.' — Spent 
 fome time in vifiting friends, and difcourfing with 
 my people (who were now moved down from their 
 own place to Mr. Sargeant's) and found them 
 very glad to fee me returned. Was exercif- 
 ed in my mind with a fenfe of my own unworthi- 
 nefs. 
 
 Lvrd*s Day, April 29. — Preached for Mr. Sargeant, 
 both parts of the day, from Rev. xiv. 4. 
 
 I 4 Monday, 
 
136 The LIFE of 
 
 Monday, April 30. — Rode to Kaunaumeek, but 
 was extremely ill : Did not enjoy the comfort I 
 hoped for in my own houfe. 
 
 Tuefday, May 1 . — Having received new orders to 
 go to a number of Indians on Delaware river in 
 Pennfylvania, and my people here being moftly re- 
 moved to Mr. Sargeant's, I this day took all my 
 clothes, books, &c. and difpofed of them, and fet 
 out for Delaware river ; but made it my way to re- 
 turn to Mr. Sargeant's : Which I did this day, juft 
 at night. Rode feveral hours in the rain through the 
 howling wildernefs, although I was fo difordered in 
 body, that little or nothing but blood came from me. 
 
 [He continued at Stockbridge, the next day ; and 
 on Thurfday rode a little way, to Sheffield, under a 
 great degree of illnefs ; but with encouragement and 
 cheerfulnefs of mind under his fatigues. On Fri- 
 day, he rode to Salifbury, and continued there until 
 after the Sabbath. On Monday, he rode to Sharon ; 
 and fpeaks of himfelf as diftreiTed at the confidera- 
 tion of the mifimprovement of time.] 
 
 Tuefday, May^S. — Set out from Sharon in Connec- 
 ticut, and travelled about forty five miles to a place 
 called theFifh-Kill, and lodged there. Spent much 
 of my time, while riding, in prayer, that God would 
 go with me to Delaware. My heart fometirnes was 
 ready to fink with the thoughts of my work, and go- 
 ing alone in the wildernefs, I knew not where : But 
 ilill it was comfortable, to think, that others of 
 God's children had wandered about in caves and dens 
 of the earth ; and Abraham, when he was called to 
 go forth, went cut not knowing whither he went. O 
 that I might follow after God. 
 
 [The next day, he went forward on his journey ; 
 crolTed Hudfon's river, and went to Goflien in the 
 highlands ; and fo travelled acrofs the woods, from 
 Hudfon's riyer to Delaware, about an hundred miles, 
 
 through 
 
Mr. DAVID B RAJ NERD. 137 
 
 through a defolate and hideous country, above New- 
 Jerfey; where were very few fettlements : In which 
 journey he fuffered much fatigue and hardfhip. He 
 vifited fome Indians in the way, and difcourfed with 
 them concerning chriftianity. Was confiderably 
 melancholy and difconiolate, being alone in a ftrange 
 wildernefs. On Saturday, he came to a fettlement 
 of Irifh and Dutch people, about twelve miles above 
 the Forks of Delaware.] 
 
 Lord'sDay, May 13. — Rofe early : Felt very poor- 
 ly after my long journey, and after being wet and 
 fatigued. Was very melancholy j have fcrace ever 
 feen fuch a gloomy morning in my life ; there 
 appeared to be no Sabbath ; the children were all at 
 play ; I a ftranger in the wildernefs, and knew not 
 where to go ; and all circumftances feemed to con- 
 fpire to render my affairs dark and difcouraging. 
 Was difap pointed refpecling an interpreter, and 
 heard that the Indians Were much fcattered, &c. O 
 I mourned after the prefence of God, and feemed 
 like a creature banifhed from his fight : Yet he was 
 pleafed to fupport my finking foul, arnidff. all my 
 iorrows ; fo that I never entertained any thought of 
 quitting my bufinefs among the poor Indians, but 
 was comforted, to think, that death would before 
 long fet me free from thefe diftrelfes. Rode about 
 three or four miles to the Irifh people, where I found 
 fome that appeared fober and concerned about reh'gt 
 ion. My heart then began to be a little encouraged : 
 Went and preached, firit to the Irifh, and then to the 
 Indians : And in the evening, was n 1 i trie comfort- 
 ed ; my foul feemed to reft on God, and take cour- 
 age. O that the Lord would be my fupport and 
 comforter in an evil world. - 
 
 Monday, May 14.— Was very bufy in fome necefTa- 
 ry itudies. Felt mvfelf very loofe from all the world : 
 All appeared vanity and vexation offpirit. Seemed 
 
 fomething 
 
138 The LIFE of 
 
 fomething lonefome and difconfolate, as if I was 
 banilhed from all mankind, and bereaved of all that 
 is called pleafure in the world : But appeared to my- 
 f elf fo vile and unworthy, it feemed fitter for me to 
 be here than any where. 
 
 [He continued much in the fame frame the three 
 next days.] 
 
 Friday, May 18. — Felt again fomething of the 
 iweet fpirit of religion ; and my foul feemed to con- 
 fide in God, that he would never leave me. But oft- 
 entimes faw myfelf fo mean a creature, that I knew 
 not how to think of preaching. O that I could al- 
 ways live to and upon God ! 
 
 Saturday, May 19. — Was, fome part of the time, 
 greatly opprelTed with the weight and burden of my 
 work : It feemed impoffible for me ever to go through 
 with the bufinefs I had undertaken. Towards night, 
 was very calm and comfortable ; and I think my 
 foul trufted in God for help. 
 
 Lord's Day, May 20. — Preached twice to the poor 
 Indians, and enjoyed fome freedom in f peaking, 
 while I attempted to remove their prejudices againft 
 chriftianity. My foul longed for alTiftance from 
 above, all the while ; for I faw I had no ftrength fuf- 
 ficient for that work. Afterwards, preached to the 
 Irifh people : Was much affifted in the firft prayer, 
 and fomething in fermon. Several perfons feemed 
 much concerned for their fouls, with whom I dif- 
 courfed afterwards with much freedom and fome 
 power. BlelTed be God for any aiTiltance afforded 
 to an unworthy worm. O that 1 could live to him ! 
 
 [Through the reft of this week, he was fometimes 
 ready to fink with a fenfe of his unworthinefs and 
 unfitnefs for the work of the miniftry ; and fome- 
 times encouraged and lifted above his fears and for- 
 rows, and was enabled confidently to rely on God ; 
 and efpecially on Saturday, towards night, he en- 
 joyed 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD, 139 
 
 joyed calmnefs and compofure, and affiftance in 
 prayer to God. He rejoiced (as he fays) that God 
 remains unchangeably powerful and faithful, a fure and 
 fufficient portion, and the dwelling place of his children 
 in all generations . ] 
 
 Lord's Day, May 27. — Vifited my Indians in the 
 morning, and attended upon a funeral among them : 
 Was affected to fee their heathenifh practices. O 
 that they might be turned from darknefs to light. Af- 
 terwards, got a considerable number of them togeth- 
 er, and preached to them ; and obferved them very 
 attentive. After this, preached to the white people 
 from Heb. ii. 3. Was enabled to fpeak with fome 
 freedom and power : Several people feemed much 
 concerned for their fouls ; efpecially one who had 
 been educated a Roman Catholick. Bieffed be the 
 Lord for any help. 
 
 Mo?iday, May 28. — Set out from the Indians above 
 the Forks of Delaware, on a journey towards New- 
 ark in New-Jerfey, according to my orders. Rode 
 through the wildernefs ; was much fatigued with 
 the heat ; lodged at a placecalled Black-River j was 
 exceedingly tired and worn out. 
 
 [On Tueiday, he came to Newark : The next 
 day, went to Elizabeth-Town : On Thurfday, he 
 went to New-York ; and on Friday returned to Eliz- 
 abeth-Town. Thefe days were fpent in fome per- 
 plexity of mind. He continued at Elizabeth-Town 
 until Friday in the week following. Was enliven- 
 ed, refreshed, and ftrengthened on the Sabbath at 
 the Lord's table. The enfuing days of the week 
 were fpent chiefly in ftudies preparatory to his ordi- 
 nation ; and on fome of them he feemed to have 
 much of God's gracious prefence, and of the fweet 
 influences of his fpirit ; but was in a very weak ftate 
 of body. On Saturday, he rode to Newark.] 
 
 Lord's Day, June io.—f At Newark.] In the morn- 
 ing, was much concerned how I fhould perform the 
 
 work 
 
i*Q The LIFE of 
 
 work of the day ; and trembled at the thoughts of 
 being left to myfelf. Enjoyed very confiderable af- 
 iiftance in all parts of the publick fervice. Had an 
 opportunity again to attend on the ordinance of the 
 Lord's flipper, and through divine goodnefs was re- 
 freflied in it : My foul was full of love and tender- 
 nefs towards the children of God, and towards all 
 inen : Felt a certain fweetnefs of difpolition towards 
 every creature. At night, I enjoyed more fpiritual- 
 ity, and fweet defire of holincfs, than I have felt for 
 fome time : Was afraid of every thought and every 
 motion, left thereby my heart fhould be drawn away 
 from God. O that I might never leave the blefled 
 God ! Lord, in thy prefence isfulnefsofjoy. O the 
 bleffednefs of living to God ! 
 
 Monday, "June i 1 . — This day the Prefbytery met 
 together at Newark, in order to my ordination. Was 
 very weak and djforderedin body ; yet endeavoured 
 to repofe my confidence in God. Spent mod of the 
 day alone ; efpecially the forenoon. At three in the 
 afternoon preached my probation fermon, from 
 Acts xxvi. 17. 18. being a text given me for that end. 
 Felt not well, either'in body or mind ; however, 
 God carried me through comfortably. Afterwards, 
 pafled an examination before the Prelhytery. Was 
 much tired, and my mind burdened with the great- 
 nefs of that charge I was in the mod: folemn man- 
 ner about to take upon me : My mind was fo preiT- 
 ed with the weight of the work incumbent upon me, 
 that I could not fleep this night, though very weary 
 and in great need of reft. 
 
 Tucjtfay, June 12. — Was this morning farther ex- 
 amined, refpefting my experimental acquaintance 
 with chriftianity*. At ten o'clock my ordination 
 
 was 
 
 * Mr. Pcmberton, in a letter to the Honourable Society in Scotland that employed 
 Mr. Brainerd. which he wrote concerning him, (publilh-il in Scotland, in the 
 ontldy Hi/lory! wriics thus, " We can with pleafure lay, that Mr. Bruincu: 
 ed through his ordination trials, to Lhc unrveifal agprobatfop of the Prdbyui . 
 
 appeared 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 141 
 
 was attended : The fermon preached by the Rev. 
 Mr. Pemberton. At this time I was affected with 
 a fenfe of the important trull: committed to me ; yet 
 was compofed, and folemn, without diffraction : 
 And I hope, I then (as many times before) gave my- 
 felf up to God, to be for him, and not for another. 
 O that I might always be engaged in the fervice of 
 God, and duly remember the folemn charge I have 
 received, in the prefence of God, angels and men ; 
 Amen ! May I be aiYifted of God for this purpofe, 
 Towards night, rode to Elizabeth-Town. 
 
 appeared uncommonly qualified for the w uri* o/ "' g rr..:; '.-v. Ke feems to b 
 
 ecl with a great deal of felf denial, and animated with c nobte zeal to* propagate the 
 
 gofpel among diofe barbfcfcduj nations, who have long fiWeh in this ds/rknH's 
 
 t'lenifm." 
 
 PART 
 
r 4 3 The LIFE of 
 
 PART VI. 
 
 From his Ordination until hefirjl began to preach 
 to the I n d i a n s at C r o s we e k s u n g , among whom 
 he had his mojl remarkable fuccefs . 
 
 WEDNESDAY, June 13.— Spent fome confid- 
 erable time in writing an account of the Indian 
 affairs to go to Scotland ; fpent fome time in con- 
 verfation with friends - 3 but enjoyed not much fweet- 
 nefs and fatisfaction. 
 
 Thurfday, June 14. — Received fome particular 
 kindnefs from friends ; and wondered that God 
 fhould open the hearts of any to treat me with kind- 
 nefs : Saw myfelf to be unworthy of any favour from 
 God, or any of my fellow men. Was much exer- 
 cifed with pain in my head ; however determined 
 to fet out on my journey towards Delaware in the 
 afternoon : But in the afternoon my pain increafed 
 exceedingly ; fo that I was obliged to betake myfelf 
 to the bed ; and the night following, was greatly 
 diftreifed with pain and iicknefs : Was fometimes 
 almoft bereaved of the exercife of reafon by the ex- 
 tremity of pain. Continued much diftrefTed until 
 Saturday ; when I was fomething relieved by an emet- 
 ick : But was unable to walk abroad until the Mon- 
 day following, in the afternoon ; and ifill remained 
 very feeble. I often admired the goodnefs of God, 
 that he did not fuffer me to proceed on my journey 
 from this place, where I was fo tenderly ufed, ar.d to 
 be fick by the way among Grangers. God is very 
 gracious to me, both in health and ficknefs, and in- 
 termingles much mercy with all my afflictions and 
 
 toils. 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 143 
 
 toils. Enjoyed fome fweetnefs in things divine, in 
 the midft of my pain and weaknefs. O, that I could 
 praife the Lord ! 
 
 [On Tuefday, June 19, he fet out on his journey 
 home, and in three days reached his place, near the 
 Forks of Delaware. Performed the journey under 
 much weaknefs of body ; but had comfort in his 
 foul, from day to day : And both his weaknefs of 
 body, and confolation of mind, continued through 
 the week.] 
 
 Lord's Day y June 24. — Extremely feeble ; fcarce 
 able to walk : However, vifited my Indians, and 
 took much pains to inftruct them : Laboured with 
 fome that were much difaffected to chriftianity. My 
 mind was much burdened with the weight and dif- 
 ficulty of my work. My whole dependence and 
 hope of fuccefs feemed to be on God ; who alone, I 
 faw, could make them willing to receive inftruction. 
 My heart was much engaged in prayer, fending up 
 filent requefts to God, even while I was fpeaking to 
 them . O that I could always go in the ftrength of 
 the Lord ! 
 
 Monday, June 2$. — Was fomething better in health 
 than of late : Was able to fpend a confiderable part 
 of the day in prayer and clofe ftudies. Had more 
 freedom and fervency in prayer than ufual of late. 
 
 Tuefday, June 26. — In the morning, my defires 
 feemed to rife, and afcend up freely to God. Was 
 bufy moil of the day in tranflating prayers into the 
 language of the Delaware Indians : Met with great 
 difficulty by reafon that my interpreter was altogeth- 
 er unacquainted with the bufinefs. But though I 
 was much difcouraged with the extreme difficulty 
 of that work, yet God fupported me ; and efpecial- 
 ly in the evening, gave me fweet refrefhment : In 
 prayer my foul was enlarged, and my faith drawn 
 into fenfible exercife ; was enabled to cry to God 
 
 for 
 
144 The LIFE o j? 
 
 for my poor Indians ; and though the work of their 
 converfion appeared impoffible with man, yet with God 
 I law all things were pojjible. My faith was much 
 flrengthened, by obferving the wonderful affiftance 
 God afforded his fervants Nehemiah and Ezra, in re- 
 forming his people, and reeftab liming his ancient 
 church. I was much affifted in prayer for dear chrif- 
 tian friends, and for others that I apprehended to be 
 chriftlefs ; but was more efpecially concerned for 
 the poor heathen, and thofe of my own charge: Was 
 enabled to be infrant in prayer for them ; and hop- 
 ed that God would bow the heavens and come dovvn- 
 for their falvation. It feemed to me, there could be 
 no impediment fufficient to obftruct that glorious 
 work, feeing the living God, as I frrongly hoped, 
 was engaged for it. I continued in a folemn frame, 
 lifting up my heart to God for afliftance, and grace, 
 that I might be more mortified to this pre fent world,, 
 that my whole foul might be taken up continually 
 in concern for the advancement of ChrifVs kingdom : 
 Longed that God would purge me more, that I 
 might be as a chofen veiled to bear his name among 
 the heathen. Continued in this frame until I drop* 
 ped afleep. 
 
 Wednefday, June 27. — Felt fomething of the fame 
 folemn concern, and fpirit of prayer, that I enjoyed 
 lad night, foon after I rofe in the morning. In the 
 afternoon, rode feveral miles to fee if Icould procure 
 any lands for the poor Indians, that they might live 
 together, and be under better advantages for inftruc- 
 tion. 
 
 ThurfJay, "June 28. — Spent the morning, in read- 
 ing feveral parts of the holy fcripture, and in fer- 
 vent prayer for my Indians, that God would fet up 
 his kingdom among them, and bring them into 
 his- church. About nine, I withdrew to my ufual 
 place of retirement in the woods ; and there again 
 
 enjoyed 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 145 
 
 enjoyed fome affi fiance in prayer. My great con- 
 cern was for the converfion of the heathen to God ; 
 and the Lord helped me to plead with him for it. 
 Towards noon, rode up to the Indians, in order to 
 preach to them ; and while going my heart went up 
 to God in prayer for them ; could freely tell God, 
 he knew that the caufe was not mine, which I was 
 engaged in ; but it was his own caufe, and it would 
 be for his own glory to convert the poor Indians : 
 And bleiTed be God, I felt no defire of their conver- 
 fion, that I might receive honour from the world, as 
 being the inilrument of it. Had fome freedom in 
 fpeaking to the Indians. 
 
 [The two next days he fpeaks of fome ferious 
 concern for the kingdom of the bleffed Redeemer ; 
 and confidence in God, that he would advance it ; 
 but complains much of barrennefs, wanderings, in- 
 activity, &c] 
 
 Lord's Day, 'July 1. — In the morning, was per- 
 plexed with wandering vain thoughts : Was much 
 grieved, judged and condemned myfelf before God. 
 And O, how miferable did I fed, becaufe I could 
 not live to God. At ten, rode away with a heavy 
 heart to preach to my Indians. Upon the road, I 
 . attempted to lift up my heart to God ; but was iri- 
 feiled with an uniettled wandering frame of mind ; 
 and w T as exceeding reftlefs and perplexed, and filled 
 with ihame and confufion before God. I feemed 
 to my fell to be more brutijh than any man ; and 
 thought, none deferved to be cqfl out of 'God's prefence 
 fo much as f . If I attempted to lift up my heart to 
 God, as f frequently did by the way, on a fudden be- 
 fore I was aware, my thoughts were wandering to 
 the ends of the earth : And my foul was filled with 
 furprife and anxiety, to find it thus. Thus alfo af- 
 ter I came to the Indians, my mind was confufed ; 
 and I felt nothing fenfibly of that fweet reliance on 
 
 K God, 
 
146 The LIFE o i 
 
 God, that my foul has been comforted with in aays 
 pall. Spent the forenoon in this poflure of mind, 
 and preached to the Indians without any heart. In 
 the afternoon, I felt llill barren, when I began to 
 preach ; and after about half an hour, I feemed to 
 myfelf to know nothing, and to have nothing to fay 
 to the Indians ; but foon after, I found in my~ 
 i'clt a fpirit of love, and warmth, and power to ad- 
 drefsthe poor Indians ; and God helped me to plead 
 with them to turn from all the vanities of the heathen , 
 to the living God : And I am perfuaded the Lord 
 touched their confciences ; for 1 never faw fuch at- 
 tention raifed in them before. And when I came 
 away from them, I fpent the whole time while I 
 was riding to my lodgings, three miles diflant, in 
 prayer and praife to God. And after I had rode 
 more than two miles, it came into my mind to ded- 
 icate myfelf to God again ; which I did with great 
 folemnity, and unfpeakable fatisfaction ; efpecially 
 gave up myfelf to him renewedly in the work of the 
 miniitry. And this 1 did by divine grace," I hope, 
 without any exception or referve ; not in the leafl 
 ihrinking back from any difficulties, that might at- 
 tend this great and blelTed work. I feemed to be 
 mofl free, cheerful, and full in this dedication of 
 myfelf: My whole foul cried, " Lord, to thee I 
 dedicate myfelf : O accept of me, and let me be 
 thine forever. Lord, I defire nothing elk ; I defire 
 nothing more. O come, come, Lord accept a poor 
 worm. Whom have I in heaven, but thee ; and there 
 is none upon earth, that I defire befide thee." After 
 this, was enabled to praife God with my whole foul, 
 that he had enabled me to devote and confecrate all 
 my powers to him in this folemn manner. My 
 heart rejoiced in my particular work as a miffionary ; 
 rejoiced in my neceffity of felf denial in many re- 
 fpecls j and iUli continued to give up myfelf to God, 
 
 and 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 147 
 
 and implore mercy of him ; praying incefTantly ev- 
 ery moment, with fweet fervency. My nature be- 
 ing very weak of late, and much fpent, was now 
 considerably overcome : My fingers grew very fee- 
 ble and fomewhat numb ; fo that I could fcarcely 
 ftretch them out ftraight : And when I lighted from 
 my horfc, could hardly walk : My joints feemed all 
 to be loofed. But I felt abundant Jlrength in the in- 
 ner man. Preached to the white people : God help- 
 ed me much, efpecially in prayer. Sundry of my 
 poor Indians were fo moved as to come to meeting 
 alio ; and one appeared much concerned. 
 
 Monday, July 2. — Had fome relifh of the divine 
 comforts of yeflerday ; but could not get that 
 warmth and exercife^ of faith, that I defired. Had 
 fornetimes a dillrefling fenfeof my pail follies, and 
 prefent ignorance and barrennefs : And efpecially 
 in the afternoon, was funk down under a load of fin 
 and guilt, in that I had lived fo little to God, after 
 his abundant goodnefs to me yefterday. In the even- 
 ing, though very weak, was enabled to pray with fer- 
 vency, and to continue irifbmt in prayer, near an 
 hour. My foul mourned over the power of its corrup- 
 tion, and longed exceedingly tobewafhed, and purg~ 
 ed as with byjfop. Was enabled to pray for my dear 
 abfent friends, Chrift's miniiters, and his church ; 
 and enjoyed much freedom and fervency, but not fo 
 much comfort, by reafon of guilt and fhame before 
 God. Judged and condemned myfelf for the follies 
 of the day. 
 
 [The two. next days he feems to have had fpecial 
 alliftance and fervency moil of the time. Thurfday 
 was ipent in great bodily weaknefs ; and in great 
 bitternefs of f'pirit by reafon of his vilenefs and cor- 
 ruption ; he lays thus, I thought there was not one 
 creature living fo vile as 1. O, my inward pollu- 
 tion ! O, my guilt and fliame before God I I know" 
 K a not 
 
148 The LIFE o r 
 
 not what to do. O, I longed ardently to be cleanfed 
 and wafhed from the ftains of inward pollution ! O, 
 to be made like God, or rather to be made fit for God 
 to own ! 
 
 Friday, 'July 6. — Awoke this morning in the fear 
 of God : Soon called to mind my fadnefs in the 
 evening paft ; and fpent my nrft waking minutes in 
 prayer for fanStification, that my foul might be 
 wafhed from its exceeding pollution and defilement. 
 After I arofe, I fpent fome time in reading God's 
 word and prayer. I cried to God under a fenfe of 
 my great indigency. lam, of late, m oft of ail con- 
 cerned for minifterial qualifications, and the conver- 
 sion of the heathen : Laft year, I longed to be pre- 
 pared for a world of glory, and fpeedily to depart 
 out of this world ; but of late all my concern almoft 
 is for the converfion of the heathen ; and for that 
 end, I long to live. But bleffed be God, I have lefs 
 defire to live for any of the pleafures of the world, 
 than ever I had : I long and love to be a pilgrim ; 
 and want grace to imitate the life, labours and 
 fufferings of St. Paul among the heathen. And 
 when I long for holinefs now, it is not i'o much for 
 myfelf as formerly ; but rather that thereby I may 
 become an able minifter of the New Teffament, ef- 
 pecially to the heathen. Spent about two hours this 
 morning, in reading and prayer, by turns ; and was 
 in' a watchful tender frame, afraid of every thing 
 that might cool my affections, and draw away my 
 heart from God. Was fomething ftrengthened 
 in my iludies j but near night was very weak and 
 weary. i*<V*'r 
 
 Saturday, July 7. — Was very much difordered this 
 morning, and my vigour all fpent and exbaufted : 
 But was affecled.and refrefhcd in reading the'fweet 
 ftory of Elijah's translation, and enjoyed fome affec- 
 tion and fervency in prayer ; longed much for min- 
 ifterial 
 
Mr. DA VID BR A I NERD. 149 
 
 ifterial gifts and graces, that I might do fomething 
 in the caufe of God. 
 
 Lord's Day, July 8. — Was ill laft night, not able 
 to reft quietly. Had fome fmall degree of affiftance 
 in preaching to the Iffdians ; and afterwards was en- 
 abled to preach to the white people with fome pow- 
 er, efpccially in the clofe of my difeourfe, from Jer. 
 iii. 23. The Lord alfo ailifted me in fome meafure 
 in the firft prayer : Blefled be his name. Near 
 night, though very weary, was enabled tovread God's 
 word with fome fweet relifh of it, and to pray with 
 affection, fervency, and (I trull) faith : My foul 
 was more fenfibly dependent on God, than ufual. 
 Was watchful, tender, and jealous of my own heart, 
 left I mould admit careleftnefs and .vain thoughts, 
 and grieve the blefted Spirit, fo that he ihould with- 
 draw his fweet, kind, and tender influenced Long- 
 ed to depart and be with Chrift, more than at any time 
 of late. My foul was exceedingly united to the 
 faints cf ancient times, as well as thofenow living ; 
 efpccially my foul melted for the fociety of Elijah 
 and Eliiha. Was enabled to cry to God with a child 
 like fpirit, and to continue inftantin prayer for fome 
 time. Was much enlarged in the fweet duty of in- 
 terceffion. 
 
 Tucfday, July 10. — Was very ill and full of pain, 
 and very dull and fpiritlefs. In the evening, had an 
 affecting fenfe of my ignorance, &c. and of my need 
 of God at all times, to do every thing for me ; and 
 my foul was humbled before God. 
 
 Wednefday, July ii. — Was ft ill exercifed with (fi- 
 nds and pain. Had fome degree of affection and 
 warmth in prayer and reading God's word : Long- 
 ed for Abraham's faith and fellowlhip with God ; 
 and {<z\\ iome refolution to fpend all my time for 
 God, and to exert myfelf with more fervency in his 
 lervice ; but found my body weak and feeble. In 
 «. K 3 the 
 
150 The LIFE of 
 
 the afternoon, though very ill, was enabled to fpend 
 fome considerable time in prayer ; fpent indeed moft 
 of the day in that exercife ; and my foul was diffi- 
 dent, watchful and tender, left I fhould oftend my 
 bleffed friend, in thought or behaviour. lam per- 
 fuaded my foul confided in, and leaned upon '.he bidi- 
 cd God. O what need did I fee myfelf to ftand in 
 of God at all times, to aiTift me and lead me ! Found 
 a great want of ftrength and vigour, both in the out- 
 ward and inner man. 
 
 [The exercifes and experiences, that he fpeaks of 
 in the next nine days, are very fimilarto thole of the 
 preceding days of this and the foregoing week.] 
 
 Saturday, °july 21. — This morning, w T as greatly 
 opprelTed with guilt and fhame, Irom a fenfe of in- 
 ward vilenefs and pollution. Towards night my 
 burden refpecting my work among the Indians be- 
 gan to increafe much;, and was aggravated by hear- 
 ing fundry things that looked very difcouraging, in 
 particular that they intended to meet together the 
 next day for an idolatrous feaft and dance. Then I 
 began to be in anguifh : I thought I muft in con- 
 science go and endeavour to break them up ; and 
 knew not how to attempt fuch a thing. However,, 
 I withdrew for prayer, hoping for ftrength from 
 above. And iv. prayer I was exceedingly enlarged, 
 and my foul was as much drawn out as ever I remem- 
 ber it to have been in my life, or near. So, as far as 
 I could judge, I was wholly free from felfifhends in 
 my fervent fupplications for the poor Indians. I 
 knew, they were met together to worfhip devils, and 
 not God ; and this made me cry earneflly, that God 
 would now appear, and help me in my attempts to 
 break up this idolatrous meeting. My foul plead- 
 ed long; and I thought God would hear, and would 
 go with me to vindicate his own caufe : I feemed to 
 confide in God for his prefence and afliilance. And 
 
 thy 
 
Mr. D A V I D B R A I N E R D. 151 
 
 thus I fpent the evening, praying incelfantly for di- 
 vine afliftance, and that I might not be felf depend- 
 ent, but ftill have my whole dependence upon God, 
 What I palled through was remarkable, and indeed 
 inexpreflible. I exceedingly longed, that God 
 would get to him felf a name among the heathen : And 
 I appealed to him with the greateft freedom, that he 
 knew I preferred him above my chief joy. Indeed, 
 I had no notion of joy from this world : I cared not 
 where or how I lived, or what hard (hips I went 
 through ; fo that I could but gain fouls to Chrift. I 
 continued in this frame all the evening and night. 
 While I was afleep, 1 dreamed of thefe things ; and 
 when I awaked (as I frequently did) the firft thing 
 I thought of was this great work of pleading for God 
 a gain ft Satan. 
 
 Lord's Day, July 2Z. — When I waked, my foul 
 was burdened with what feemed to be before me : 
 I cried to God, before I could get out of my bed : 
 And as f'oon as I was d relied, 1 withdrew into the 
 woods, to pour out my burdened foul to God, es- 
 pecially for afliftance in my great work ; for I could 
 Scarcely think of arvjr thing elfe : And enjoyed the 
 lame freedom and fervency as the laft evening ; and 
 did with unlpeakable freedom give up myfelf alrelh 
 to God for life or death, for all hardlhips he mould 
 call me to among the heathen ; and felt as if nothing 
 could difcourage me from this blelTed work. I had 
 a lirong hope, that God would bow the heavens and 
 come down, and do fome marvellous work among the 
 heathen. And when I was riding to the Indians, 
 three miles, my heart was continually going up to 
 God for his pre fence and afliftance ; and hoping, 
 and almoft expecting, that God would make this the 
 day of his power and grace amongft the poor In- 
 dians. When I came to them, I found them engag- 
 ed in their frolick \ but through divine goodnefs I 
 K 4 got 
 
152 The LIFE of 
 
 them tobreak up, and attend to my preaching : Yet 
 ftill there appeared nothing of the fpecial power of 
 God among them. Preached again to them in the 
 afternoon ; and obferved the Indians were more fo- 
 ber than before : But ftill law nothing fpecial among 
 them ; from whence Satan took occaiion to tempt 
 and buffet me with thefe curfed fuggeftions, There 
 is no God, or if there be, he is not able to convert the 
 Indians, before they have more knowledge, &c. I 
 was very weak and weary, and my foul borne down 
 with perplexity : But was mortified to all the world, 
 and was determined frill to wait upon God for the 
 converfion of the heathen, though the devil tempted 
 me to the contrary. 
 
 Monday, July 23. — Retained ftill a deep and pi-eff- 
 ing fenfe of what lay with fo much weight upon me 
 yeflerday : But was more calm and quiet ; enjoyed 
 freedom and-compofure, after the temptations of the 
 laff. evening : Had fweet resignation to the divine 
 will ; and defired nothing fo much as the converfion 
 of the heathen to God, and that his kingdom might 
 come in my own heart, and the hearts of others. 
 Rode to a fettlement of Irifh people, about fifteen 
 miles fouth weft ward ; fpent my time in prayer and 
 meditation by the way. Near night, preached from 
 Matth. v. 3. God was pleafed to afford me fome 
 degree of freedom and fervency. Bleffed be God for 
 any meafure of afiiftance. 
 
 Tuefday, July 24. — Rode about feventeen miles 
 weftward, over a hideous mountain, to a number of 
 Indians. Got together near thirty of them : Preachy 
 ed to. them in the evening, and lodged among them. 
 Was weak, and felt fomething difconfolate. 
 
 [The next day, he preached to thefe Indians again ; 
 and then returned to the Irifh fettlement, and there 
 preached to a numerous congregation : There was a 
 confiderable appearance of awakening in the congre- 
 gation. 
 
Mr. DAVID BR AI NERD. 153 
 
 gation. 'Thurfday, he returned home, exceedingly- 
 fatigued and fpent ; (till in the fame frame of mor- 
 tification to the world, and folicitous for the advance- 
 ment of Chrift's kingdom : And on this day he lays 
 thus, " I have felt, this week, more of the ipirit of 
 a pilgrim on earth y than perhaps ever before ; and 
 yet fo defirous to fee Zion's profperity, that I was 
 not fo willing to leave this fcene of for row as I uied 
 to be." The two remaining days of the week, he 
 was very-ill, and cries out of wanderings, dulnefs, 
 and want of fpiritual fervency and fweetnefs. On 
 the Sabbath, he was confined by illnefs, not able to 
 go out to preach. After this, his illnefs increafed 
 upon him, and he continued very ill all the week. 
 Concerning the next five days he writes thus : " On 
 Lord's Day, Auguft 5, was ftill very poor. But 
 though very weak, 1 viflted and preached to the 
 poor Indians twice, and was ftrengthened vailly be- 
 3^ond my expectations. And indeed, the Lord gave 
 me fome freedom and fervency in addreiling them ; 
 though I had not ftrength enough to (land, but was 
 obliged to fit down the whole time ; towards night, 
 was extremely weak, faint, fick, and full of pain. 
 And thus 1 have continued much in the fame ftate 
 that I was in laft week, through the molt of this (it 
 being now Friday ;) unable to engage in any bufi- 
 nefs ; frequently unable to pray in the family. [ 
 am obliged to let all my thoughts and concerns run 
 at random ; fori have neither ftrength to read, med- 
 itate, or pray : And this naturally perplexes my 
 mind. 1 Icem to myfelf like a man that has all his 
 eftate embarked in one fmali boat, unhappily going 
 adrift, down a fwift torrent. The poor owner (rands 
 on the more, and looks, and laments his lofs." 
 
 [The next three weeks after this, his illnefs was 
 not fo extreme : He was in fome degree capable of 
 bufinefs, both publick and private ; (although he 
 
 had 
 
154 T ii e L I F E o f 
 
 had fome turns wherein his indifpofition prevailed 
 to a great degree :.) He alfo in this fpace had, for 
 the mod part, much more inward aftiftance, and 
 ftrength of mind : He often expreftbs great longings 
 for the enlargement of Chrift's kingdom ; efpecially 
 by the conversion of the heathen to God : He fpeaks 
 of his hope of this as all his delight and joy. He 
 continues Hill to exprefs his ufual longings after ho- 
 linefs and living to God, and his fenfe of his own 
 unworthinefs : He feveral times fpeaks of his ap- 
 pearing to himfelf the vileft creature on c t/th ; and 
 once fays, that he verily thought there woe nor! of 
 God's children who fell fo far ftiort of tha iv i; iefs, 
 and perfection in their obedience, which God re- 
 quires, as he. He fpeaks of his feeling more dead 
 than ever to the enjoyments of the world. He fome- 
 times mentions fpecial affiftance that he had in this 
 fpace of time, in preaching to the Indians, and of 
 appearances of religious concern among them. He 
 fpeaks alfo of affiftance in prayer for abfent friends, 
 and efpecially minifters and candidates for the i 
 iflry j and of much comfort he enjoyed in the 
 pany of fome minifters that came to vifit him.j 
 
 Saturday, September I. — Was fo far Strengthened, 
 after a feafon of great weaknefs, that I was able to 
 ipend two or three hours in writing on a divine Sub- 
 ject Enjoyed fome comfort and fweetnefs in things 
 divine and facred : And as my bodily ftrength was 
 in fome meafure reftored, fo my foul feemed to be 
 Somewhat: vigorous, and engaged in the tilings of 
 God. 
 
 Lord's Day, September 2. — Was enabled to fpeak 
 to my poor Indians with much concern and ferven- 
 cy ; and I am perfuaded, God enabled me to exer- 
 cife faith in him, while I was fpeaking to them. L 
 perceived, that fome of them were afraid to hearken 
 to, and embrace chriftianity, left they mould be en- 
 chanted 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD, 155 
 
 chanted and poifoned by fome of the powows : But 
 I was enabled to plead with them not to fear thefe ; 
 and confiding in God for fafety and deliverance, I 
 bid a challenge to all thefe powers of darknefs, to do 
 their worft upon me firil. Afterwards 1 found my 
 foul rejoice in God for his aiFiding grace. 
 
 [After this he went a journey into New-England, 
 and was abfent from the place of his abode, at the 
 Forks of Delaware, about three weeks. lie was in 
 a feeble flare the greater part of the time. But in 
 the latter part of the journey, he found he gained 
 much in health and fhength, And as to the itate of 
 his mind, and his religious and fpiritual extrcifes, 
 it was much with him as had been before ufual in 
 journeys; excepting that the frame of his mind feem ? 
 cd more generally to be comfortable.] 
 
 Wedncj'day, September 26. — Rode home to the 
 Forks of Delaware. What reafon have I to blefs 
 God, who has preferved me in riding more than 
 four hundred and twenty miles, and has kept all my 
 bones that not one of item has been broken /My health 
 likewife is greatly recovered. O that I could dedi- 
 cate myall to God : This is all the return I can 
 make to him. 
 
 Thurfday, September 27. — Was fome thing melan- 
 choly : Had not much freedom and comfort in 
 prayer: My foul is di icon folate, when God is with- 
 drawn. 
 
 [The three next days he fpeaks of the fame long- 
 ings for the advancement of Chriit's kingdom, and 
 the converfion of the Indians ; but complains great- 
 ly of the ill effects of the diverdons of his late jour- 
 ney, as unfixing his mind from that degree of en- 
 gagedneis, fervency, watch fulnefs, &c. which he 
 enjoyed before.] 
 
 Monday, OHober 1.— Was engaged this ddy •■• 
 making preparation for my intended journey to Suf- 
 
 quehannah : 
 
156 The LIFE of 
 
 quehannah : Withdrew feveral times to the woods 
 tor fecret duties, and endeavoured to plead for the 
 divine prcfence to go with me to the poor pagans, 
 to whom I was going to preach the gofpel. To- 
 wards night rode about four miles, and met broth- 
 er Byram* ; who was come, at my defire, to be my 
 companion in travel to the Indians. I rejoiced to 
 fee him ; and, I truft, God made his converfation 
 profitable to me. I faw him, as I thought, more 
 dead to the world, its anxious cares, and alluring 
 objects, than I was : And this made me look within 
 myfelf, and gave me a greater fenfe of my guilt, in- 
 gratitude, and mifery. 
 
 Tuefday, Oclober 2. — Set out on my journey, in 
 company with dear brother Byram, and my inter- 
 preter, and two chief Indians from the Forks of 
 Delaware. Travelled about twenty five miles, and 
 lodged in one of the laft houfes on our road ; after 
 which there was nothing but a hideous and howl- 
 ing wildernefs. 
 
 Wednefday, OElober 3. — We went on our way into 
 the wildernefs, and found the moil difficult and dan- 
 gerous travelling, by far, that ever any of us had 
 feen ; we had fcarce any thing elfe but lofty mount- 
 ains, deep valleys, and hideous rocks, to make our 
 way through. However, I felt fome fweetnefs in 
 divine things, part of the day, and had my mind in- 
 tenfely engaged in meditation on a divine fubjecl:. 
 Near night, my beaff, that I rode upon, hung one of 
 her legs in the rocks, and fell down under me ; but, 
 through divine goodnefs, I was not hurt. However, 
 fhe broke her leg ; and being in fuch a hideous place, 
 and near thirty miles from any houfe, I faw nothing 
 that could be done to preferve her life, and fo was 
 obliged to kill her, and to profecute my journey on 
 
 foot. 
 
 * Minifter at a place called Rockciticus, about forty miles from Mr. Braineid's 
 lodgings. 
 
Mr. DAVID B R A I N E R D. 157 
 
 foot. This accident made me admire the divine 
 goodnefs to me, that my bones were not broken, 
 and the mulitude of them filled with ftrong pain. 
 Juft at dark we kindled a fire, cut up a few buin.es, 
 and made a fhelter over our heads to fave us from 
 the froft, which was very hard that night ; and com- 
 mitting ourfelves to God by prayer, we lay down oil 
 the ground and ilept quietly. 
 
 [The next day they went forward on their journey, 
 and at night took up their lodging in the woods in 
 like manner.] 
 
 Friday, October 5. — We arrived at Sufquehannah 
 River, at a place called Opeholhaupung : Found 
 there twelve Indian houfes. After 1 had fainted the 
 king in a friendly manner, I told him my bufinefs, 
 and that my defire was to teach them chriftianity. 
 After fome confutation, the Indians gathered, and 
 I preached to them. And when I had done, I afked 
 if they would hear me again. They replied, that 
 they would confider of it ; and foon after lent me 
 word, that they would immediately attend if I 
 would preach : Which I did, with freedom, both 
 times. When I aiked them again whether they 
 would hear me further, they replied, they would 
 the next day. 1 was exceeding fenfible of the im- 
 poflibility of doing any thing for the poor heathen, 
 without fpecial afii fiance from above : And my foul 
 feemed to reft on God, and leave it to him to do as 
 he pleafed in that which I fuv was his own caufe : 
 And indeed, through divine goodnefs, I had felt 
 fomethi.ng of this frame mo ft of the time while I 
 was travelling thither ; and in fome meafure before 
 I let out. 
 
 Saturday, October 6. — Rofe early and be fought the 
 Lord for help in my great work. Near noon preach- 
 ed again to the Indians : And in the afternoon, vii- 
 ited them from houfe to houfe, and invited them to 
 
 come 
 
i;8- The LIFE o t 
 
 come and hear me again the next day, and put off' 
 their hunting: defign, which they were juft entering 
 upon, until Monday. This night, I truft, the Lord 
 Hood by me to encourage and ftrengthen my foul : 
 I fpent more than an hour in fecret retirement ; was 
 enabled to pour out my heart before God, for the 
 increafe of: grace in my foul, for miniiterial en- 
 dowments, for fuccefs among the poor Indians, for 
 God's minifters and people, and for dear friends 
 vaftly diitant, &c, BlefTed be God. 
 
 [The next day he complains of great want of fix- 
 ednefs and intenfenefs in religion, fo that he could. 
 not keep any fpiritual thought one minute without 
 diffraction ; which occasioned anguifh of fpirit. — 
 He felt, he fays, amazingly guilty, and extremely 
 miferable ; and cries out, O my foul, what death it 
 is, to have the affections unable to center in God, by 
 reafon of darknefs, and confequently roving after 
 that fatis faction el fe where, that is only to be found 
 here ! However, he preached twice to the Indians 
 with fome freedom and power : But was afterwards 
 damped by the objections they made againft chriir- 
 ianity. In the evening, in afenfeofhis great de- 
 fects in preaching, he entreated God not to impute 
 to him blood guiltinefs ; but yet was at the fame 
 time enabled to rejoice in God.] 
 
 Monday, OBober 8. — Vifited the Indians with a 
 defign to take my leave of them, fuppofing they 
 would this morning go. out to hunting early ; but 
 beyond my expectation and hope, they defired to 
 hear me preach again. I gladly complied with 
 their requeft, and afterwards endeavoured to an fiver 
 their objections againfr. chriftianity. Then they 
 went away ; and we fpent the reft of the afternoon 
 in reading and prayer, intending to go homeward 
 very early the next day. My foul was in fome mca(- 
 nre refrelhed in fecret prayer and meditation. Bleff- 
 ed be the Lord for all his goodnefs. 
 
 Tuefday % 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 159 
 
 • Tuefdiy, OffoStrg. — We rofe about four in the morn- 
 ing, and, commending ourfelves to God by prayer,and 
 aiking his fpecial protection, we let out on our jour- 
 ney homewards about five, and travelled with great 
 ff.eadir.efs until pail fix at night. And then made 
 us a fire, and a fhtdter of barks, and fo refted. I had 
 jbme dear and comfortable thoughts on a divine 
 fubjecl:, by the way, towards night. In the night, 
 the wolves howled around us ; but God preferv- 
 ed us. 
 
 [The next day they rofe early, and fet forward, 
 and travelled that day until they came to an Irifh. 
 fettlement, where Mr. Brainerd was acquainted, 
 and lodged there.] 
 
 Friday, Oclober 12. — Rode home to my lodging ; 
 where 1 poured out my foul to God in fecret prayer, 
 and endeavoured tobkfs him for his abundant good- 
 nefs to me in my late journey. I fcarce ever enjoy- 
 ed more health,-; at leaff. of later years; and God 
 marvellouily, and almofr. miraculoufly, fupported 
 me under the fatigues of the way, and travelling on 
 foot. BlefTed be the Lord, that continually pre- 
 ferves me in all my ways. 
 
 [On Saturday he went again to the Irifh fettlement, 
 to fpend the Sabbath there, his Indians being gone.] 
 
 hordes Day, Odobcr 14. — Was much confufed 
 and perplexed in my thoughts ; could not pray ; 
 and was almoft difcouraged, thinking I fhould nev- 
 er be able to preach any more. But afterwards God 
 was pleafed to give me fome relief from thefe con- 
 furious : But frill I w r as afraid, and even trembled 
 before God. I went to the place of publick wor- 
 ihip, lifting up my heart to God for afliftance and 
 grace, in my great work : And God was gracious 
 to me., and helped me to plead with him for holi- 
 nefs, and to ufe the itrongsir arguments with him, 
 drawn from the incarnation and fuflerings oi Chriil 
 
 for 
 
1 6a Th e L I F E o f 
 
 for this very end, that men might be made holy. 
 Afterwards, I was muchailifted in preaching. I know 
 not that ever God helped me to preach in a more 
 clofe and diftinguifhing manner for the trial of men's 
 ftate. Through the infinite goodnefs of God, I felt 
 what I fpake ; and God enabled me to treat on di- 
 vine truth with uncommon clearnefs : And ytt I was 
 fo fenfible of my defects in preaching, that I could 
 not be proud of my performance, as at fome times ; 
 and bleffed be the Lord for this mercy. In the even- 
 ing, I longed to be entirely alone, to blefs God for 
 help in a time of extremity ; and longed for great 
 degrees of holinefs, that I might (hew my gratitude 
 to God. 
 
 [The next morning he fpent fome time before 
 funrife in prayer, in the fame fweet and grateful 
 frame of mind, that he had been in the evening he- 
 fore: And afterwardswent to his Indians, and fpent 
 fome time in teaching and exhorting them.] 
 
 Tuefday, OElober 1 6. — Felt a fpirit of folemnity and 
 watchfulnefs ; was afraid I fhould not live to and 
 upon God : Longed for more intenfenefs and fpirit- 
 uality. Spent the day in writing ; frequently lift- 
 ing up my heart to God for more heavenly minded- 
 nefs. In the evening enjoyed fweet affiftance in 
 prayer, and thirfted and pleaded to be as holy as the 
 bleffed angels : Longed for ministerial gifts and 
 graces, and fuccefs in my work : Was fweetly affiit- 
 ed in the duty of intercciilon, and enabled to remem- 
 ber, and plead for numbers of dear friends, and 
 Chrift's minifters. 
 
 [He feemed to have much of the fame frame of 
 mind, the two next days. J 
 
 Friday, OEiober 19. — My foul enjoyed a fweet 
 feafon of bitter repentance and forrow, that I had 
 wronged that bleffed God, who, I was perfuaded, 
 was reconciled to me in his dear Son. My foul was 
 
 now 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 161 
 
 now tender, devout, and folemn. And I was afraid 
 of nothing, but fin ; and afraid of that in every ac- 
 tion and thought. 
 
 [The four following days, were manifeftty 
 fpent in a molt conftant tendernefs, watchful- 
 nefs, diligence and felf diffidence. But he com- 
 plains of wanderings of mind, languor of affec- 
 tions, &c] 
 
 Wednefday, OBober 24.— Near noon, rocle to my 
 people ; fpent fome time, and prayed with them : 
 Felt the frame of a pilgrim on earth ; longed much 
 to leave this gloomy manflon ; but yet found the 
 exercife of patience and resignation* And as I re- 
 turned home from the Indians, fpent the whole 
 time in lifting up my heart to God. In the evening* 
 enjoyed a bletTefd feafon alone in prayer ; was ena- 
 bled to cry to God with a child like fpirit, for the 
 fpace of near an hour : Enjoyed a fweet freedom 
 in fupplicatingfor my felf, for dear friends, minifters, 
 and fome who are preparing for that work, and for the 
 church of God ; and longed to be as lively my felf. 
 in God's fervice as the angels. 
 
 Friday, Othber 16. — In the morning my foul was 
 melted with a fenfe of divine goodnefs and mercy 
 to fuch a vile unworthy worm as I : Delighted to 
 lean upon God, and place my whole truft in him. 
 My foul was exceedingly grieved for fin, and prized 
 and longed after holinefs ; it wounded my heart deep- 
 ly, yet fweetly, to think how I had abufed a kind 
 God. I longed to be perfectly holy, that I might 
 not grieve a gracious God ; who will continue to 
 love, notwithstanding his love is abufed : I longed 
 for holinefs more for this end, than I did for my 
 own happinefs lake. And yet this was my greateil 
 happinefs, never more to ditnonour, but always to 
 glorify the bleffed God. Afterwards rode up to the 
 Indians, in the afternoon, &c. 
 
 L [The 
 
i6a TheLIFEof 
 
 [The four next days he was exercifed with much 
 diforde'r and pain of body, with a degree of melan- 
 choly and gloominefs of mind, bitterly complaining 
 of deadnefs and unprofitablenefs, yet mourning and 
 longing after God.] 
 
 Wednefday* October 31. — Was fenfible of my bar- 
 rennefs, and decay, in the things of God : My foul 
 failed, when I remembered the fervency I had en- 
 joyed at the throne of grace. O, I thought, if I 
 could but be fpiritual, warm, heavenly minded, and 
 affectionately breathing after God, this would be 
 better than life to me ! My foul longed exceedingly 
 for death, to be loofed from this dulnefs and barren- 
 nefs, and made forever a&ive in the fervice of God. 
 I feemed to live for nothing, and to do no good : And 
 O, the burden of fuch a life ! O, Death, Death, my 
 kind friend, haften and deliver me from dull mor- 
 tality, and make me fpiritual and vigorous to 
 eternity. 
 
 Friday , November 2. — Was filled with forrow and 
 confuiion, in the morning, and could enjoy nofweet 
 fenfe of divine things, nor get any relief in prayer. 
 Saw I deferved that every one of God's creatures 
 fhould be let loofe upon me to be the executioners 
 of his wrath againft me : And yet therein I faw I 
 deferved what I did not fear as my portion. About 
 noon rode up to the Indians; and while going, could 
 feel no defires for them, and even dreaded to fay 
 any thing to them ; but God was pleafed to give me 
 fome freedom and enlargement, and made the feafon 
 comfortable to me. In the evening had enlarge- 
 ment in prayer. 
 
 Saturday, November 3. — I read-the life and trials of 
 a godly man, and was much warmed by it : I won- 
 dered at my pail: deadnefs ; and was more convinced 
 of it than ever. Was enabled to confefs and be- 
 wail my fm before God, with (elf abhorrence. 
 
 Lord's 
 
Mr. DAVID BR A I N £ R D, 163 
 
 Lord's Day, November 4. — Had, I think, fome 
 exercife of faith in prayer in the morning : Longed to 
 be fpiritual. Had considerable help in preaching to 
 my poof Indians : Was encouraged With them, and 
 hoped that God defigned mercy for them. 
 
 [The next day he fet out on a journey to New- 
 York, to the meeting of the prefbytery there; and 
 was gone from home more than a fortnight. He 
 feemed to enter on this journey with great reluc- 
 tance ; fearing that the diversions of it would prove 
 a means of cooling his religious affections, as he had 
 iound in other journeys. But yet in this journey 
 he had fome fpecial feafons wherein he enjoyed ex- 
 traordinary evidences and fruits of God's gracious 
 pretence. He was greatly fatigued and expofed ill 
 this journey by cold and ftorms : And when he re- 
 turned from New-York to New-Jerfey, on Friday, 
 was taken very ill, and was detained by his illnefs 
 fome time.] 
 
 Wedriefday, "November 21. — Rode from Newark to 
 Rockciticus in the cold, and was almofr. overcome 
 with it. Enjoyed fome fvveetnefs in converfation 
 with dear Mr. Jones, while I dined with him : My 
 foul loves the people of God, and efpecially the 
 minifters of Jefus Chrift, who feel the fame trials 
 that I do. 
 
 Thurfday, November 22* — Came on my way from 
 Rockciticus to Delaware river. Was very much 
 difordered with a cold and pain in my head. About 
 fix at night, I loft my way in the wildernefs, and 
 wandered over rocks and mountains, down hideous 
 fteeps, through (wamps, and mod dreadful and 
 dangerous places : And the night being dark, fo 
 that few flars could be feen, I was greatly expofed : 
 Was much pinched with cold, and diftreiTed with 
 an extreme pain in my head, attended with ficknefs 
 at my ftomacn ; fo that every ftep I took was dif- 
 
 L 2 trifling 
 
164 The LI F E of 
 
 treiling to me. I had but little hope for feveral 
 hours together, but that I muff, lie out in the woods 
 all night in this diftrefTed cafe. But, about nine 
 o'clock, I found a houfe, through the abundant good- 
 nefs of God, and was kindly entertained. Thus I 
 have frequently been expofed, and fometimes lain 
 out the whole night : But God has hitherto preferv- 
 ed me ; and bleffed be his name. Such fatigues and 
 hardfhips as thefe, ferve to wean me more from the 
 earth ; and, I trurt, will make heaven the fweeter. 
 Formerly, when I was thus expofed to cold, rain, 
 &c. I was ready to pleafe myfelf with the thoughts 
 of enjoying a comfortable houfe, a warm fire, and 
 other outward comforts ; but now thefe have lefs 
 place in my heart, through the grace of God, and 
 my eye is more to God for comfort. 
 
 Friday, November 23. — Vifited a lick man ; dif- 
 courfed and prayed with him. Then vifited another 
 houfe. where was one dead and laid out ; looked on 
 the corpfe and longed that my time might come to 
 depart, that I might be with Cbriji. Then went 
 home to my lodgings, about one o'clock. Felt poor- 
 ly ; but was able to read mod; of the afternoon. 
 
 [Within the fpace of the next twelve days, he 
 palled under many changes in the frames and exer- 
 cifes of his mind. He had many feafons of the 
 fpecial influence of God's Spirit, animating, invig- 
 orating, and comforting him in the ways of God 
 and duties of religion ; but had fome turns of great 
 dejection and melancholy. He fpent much time, 
 within this fpace, in hard labour, with others, to 
 make for himfelf a little cottage or hut, to live in 
 by himfelf through the winter. 
 
 T^harfday, Decetmer 6. — Having now a happy op- 
 portunity of being retired in a houfe of my own, 
 which I have lately procured and moved into, and 
 eonfidering that it is now a long time fince I have 
 
 been 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 165 
 
 been able, either on account of bodily weaknefs, or 
 for want of retirement, or fome other difficulty, to 
 fpend any time in fecret fading and prayer ; confid- 
 eringalfo thegreatnefs of my work, and the extreme 
 difficulties that attend it ; and that my poor Indi- 
 ans are now worfhiping devils, notwithftanding all 
 the pains I have taken with them, which almoft 
 overwhelms my fpirit : Moreover, confidering my 
 extreme barrennefs, fpiritual deadnefs,and dejection, 
 of late ; as alfo the power of fome particular cor- 
 ruptions ; I fat apart this day for fecret prayer and 
 faffing, to implore the bleffing of God on myfelf, 
 on my poor people, on my friends, and on the 
 church of God. At firft, I felt a great backward- 
 nefs to the duties of the day, on account of the 
 feeming impofTibility of performing them : But the 
 Lord helped me to break through this difficulty. I 
 enjoyed much more intenfenefs, fervency, and fpir- 
 ituality, than I expected ; God was better to me 
 than my fears. And, towards night, I felt mjvfqiil 
 rejoice, that God is unchangeably happy and "glori- 
 ous ; that he will be glorified, whatever becomes of 
 his creatures. I was enabled to perfevere in prayer 
 until fome time in the evening; at which time I faw 
 fo much need of divine help, in every refpect, that 
 I knew not how to leave off, and had forgot that I 
 needed food. This evening I was much affifted in 
 meditating on Ifai, lii. 3. BlefTed be the Lord for 
 any help in the paft day. 
 
 Friday, December 7. — Spent fome time in prayer, 
 in the morning ; enjoyed fome freedom and affec- 
 tion in the duty, and had longing defires of being 
 made faithful to the death. Spent a little time in 
 writing on a divine fubjecl: : J^cn vifited the Indi- 
 ans, and preached to them : out under inexpreffi- 
 ble dejection. I had no heart to fpeak to them, and 
 could not do it, but as I forced myfelf : I knew they 
 
 L 3 muff. 
 
1 66 The LIFE of 
 
 mud hate to hear me, as having but juft got home 
 from their idolatrous feaft and devil worihip. In 
 the evening had fome freedom in prayer and med- 
 itation. 
 
 Saturday, December S. — Have been uncommonly 
 free this day from dejection, and from that diftrefTr 
 ing apprehenfion that I could do nothing : Was en^ 
 abletl to pray and fludy with fome comfort ; and 
 efpecially was afhfted in writing on a divine fubject. 
 In the evening my foul rejoiced in God ; and I 
 blefTed his name for mining on my foul. O the 
 fweet and blefTed change I then felt, when God 
 brought me out of darhiefs into his marvellous light. 
 
 Lord's Day> December 9. — Preached both parts 
 of the day at a place called Greenwich, in New- 
 Jerfey, about ten miles from my own houfe. In the 
 firit difcourfe I had fcarce any warmth or affection- 
 ate longing for fouls. In the intermillion feafon I 
 got alone among the bufh.es, and cried to God for 
 pardon ofmydeadnefs ; and was in anguifh and 
 bitternefs, that I could not addrefs fouls with more 
 companion and tender affection ; Judged and con? 
 demned myfelf for want of this divine temper : 
 Though I faw I could not get it as of myfelf any 
 more than I could make a world. In the latter exer-* 
 cife, bleffed be the Lord, I had fome fervency, both 
 in prayer and preaching ; and efpecially in the ap? 
 plication of my difcourfe was enabled to addrefs pre- 
 cious fouls with affection, concern, tendernefs and 
 importunity. The Spirit of God, I think, was 
 there ; as the effects were apparent, tears running 
 down many cheeks. 
 
 Wednefday , December 12.— Was very weak ; but 
 fomewhat aflifted in^cret prayer, and enabled with 
 pleafure and fvveetnerc to cry, Come, Lord JeJ'us ! 
 Come, Lord "J ejus ; come quickly. My foul longed for 
 God, for the living God. O how delightful it is, to 
 
 pray 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 167 
 
 pray under fuch fweet influences ! O how much 
 better is this than one's neceffary food ! I had at this 
 time no difpofition to eat, though late in the 
 morning; for earthly food appeared wholly taftelefs. 
 
 how much better is thy love than wine, than the 
 fweeteft wine ! I vifiled and preached to the Indians 
 in the afternoon ; but under much dejection. Found 
 my interpreter under fome concern for his foul ; 
 which was fome comfort to me ; and yet filled me 
 with new care. I longed greatly for his converfion ; 
 lifted up myheart to God for it while I was talking to 
 him : Came home and poured out my foul to God 
 for him : Enjoyed fome freedom in prayer, and was 
 enabled, I think, to leave all with God. 
 
 Tburfday, December 13. — Endeavoured to fpend 
 the day in failing and prayer, to implore the divine 
 blefling, more efpecially on my poor people ; and 
 in particular, I fought for converting grace for my 
 interpreter, and three or four more under fome con- 
 cern for their fouls. I was much difordered in the 
 morning when I arofe ; but having determined to 
 fpend the day in this manner, I attempted it. Some 
 freedom I had in pleading for the(e poor concerned 
 fouls, feveral times; and when interceding for them, 
 
 1 enjoyed greater freedom from wandering and dif- 
 tracting thoughts, than in any part of my fupplica- 
 tions : But in the general was greatly exercifed with 
 wanderings ; fo that in the evening it feemed as if I 
 had need to pray fornothingfomuchas forthepardon 
 of fins committed in the day pait, and the vilenefs I 
 then found in myfelf. The fins I had moll fenfe 
 of were pride, and wandering thoughts, whereby I 
 mocked God. The former of thefe curfed iniqui- 
 ties excited me to think of writing, or preaching, or 
 converting heathen, or performmg fome other great 
 work, that my name might live when I mould be 
 dead. My foul was jn anguim, and ready to drop 
 
 L 4 into 
 
1 68 The LIFE of 
 
 into defpair, to find fo much of that curfed temper. 
 With this and the other evil I laboured under, viz. 
 wandering thoughts, I was almoft overwhelmed, 
 and even ready to give over driving after a fpirit of 
 devotion ; an d oftentimes funk into a confiderable 
 degree of defpondency, and thought I was more brut- 
 ijh than any man. Yet after all my forrows, I truft, 
 through grace, this day and the exercifes of it have 
 been for my good, and taught me more of my cor- 
 ruption, and weaknefs without Chrift, than I knew 
 before. 
 
 Monday , December 17. — Was fomething comfort- 
 able in mind, moft of the day ; and was enabled to 
 pray with fome freedom, cheerfulnefs, compofure, 
 and devotion 3 had alfo fome afliftance in writing on 
 a divine fubject. 
 
 Tucfday, December 1$.— Went to the Indians, and 
 diicourfed to them near an hour, without any pow- 
 er to come clofe to their hearts. But at laft, I felt fome 
 fervency, and God helped me to fpeak with warmth . 
 My interprerer alfo was amazingly affiiled ; and I 
 doubt not but the Spirit of God was upon him (though 
 I had no reafon to think he had any true and faving 
 grace , but ;vas only under con viction of his lofl ftate ; ) 
 and prefently upon this moft of the grown perfons 
 were muc>i affected, and the tears ran down then- 
 cheeks 1 and one old man (I fuppofe, an hundred 
 years old) was fo .affected, that he wept, and feem- 
 ed convinced of the importance of what I taught 
 them. I flayed with them a confiderable time, ex- 
 horting and directing them ; and came away, lifting 
 up my heart to God in prayer and praife, and en- 
 couraged and exhorted my interpreter tojirive to en- 
 ter in at the Jlraittoitc. Came home, and ipent 
 moll: of the eveningin prayer and thankfgiving > 3 
 and found myfelf much enlarged and quickened, 
 Was greatly concerned, that the Lord's work, which 
 
 feemed 
 
Mr. fiAVID BRAINEREL 169 
 
 feemed to be begun, might be carried on with pow- 
 er, to the converfion of poor fouls, and the glory of 
 divine grace. 
 
 Wednefday, December 19. — Spent a great part of 
 the day in prayer to God for the out pouring af his 
 fpirit on my poor people ; as alfo to blefs his name 
 for awakening my interpreter, and fome others, and 
 giving us fome tokens of his prefence yefterday. And 
 blefTed be God, I had much freedom, five or fix 
 times in the day, in prayer and praife, and felt a 
 weighty concern upon my fpirit for the falvation of 
 thofe precious fouls, and the enlargement of the Re- 
 deemer's kingdom among them. My foul hoped 
 in God for fome fuccefs in my miniftry : And blefT- 
 ed be his name for fo much hope. 
 
 Friday, December 21 . — Was enabled again to pray 
 with freedom, cheerfulnefs, and hope. God was 
 pleafed to make the duty comfortable and pleafant 
 to me ; fo that I delighted to perfevere, and repeat- 
 edly to engage in it. Towards noon, vifited my 
 people, and fpent the whole time in the way to them 
 in prayer, longing to fee the power of God among 
 them, as there appeared fomething of it the lafl 
 Tuefday ; and I found it fvveet to reft and hope in 
 God. Preached to them twice, and at two diftincl: 
 places : Had considerable freedom, each time, and 
 fo had my interpreter. Several of them followed 
 me from one place to the other : And I thought, 
 there were fome divine influences difcernible amongfl 
 them. In the evening, was affifted in prayer again. 
 Bleffed, bleffed be the Lord. 
 
 Lord's Day, December 30. — Difcourfed, both parts 
 of the day, from Mark viii. 34. Whofoever uill 
 come after me, &c. God gave me very great freedom 
 and clearncfs, and in the afternoon efpecially, con- 
 siderable warmth and fervency. In the evening al- 
 io, had very great clearnefs while converfing with 
 
 friends 
 
170 The LIFE of 
 
 I 
 
 friends on divine things : I do not remember ever 
 
 to have had more clear apprehentions of religion in 
 my. life : But found a druggie, in the evening, with 
 fpiritual pride. 
 
 [€)n Monday he preached again in the fame place 
 with freedom, and fervency ; and rode home to his 
 lodging ; and arrived in the evening, under a con- 
 fiderable degree of bodily illnefs, which continued 
 the two next days. And he complains much of 
 fpiritual emptinefs and barrennefs on thofe days.] 
 
 Thurfday, "January 3, 1744,5. — Being fenfible of 
 the great want of divine influences, and the out 
 pouring of God's fpirit, I fpent this day in failing 
 and prayer, to feek fo great a mercy for myfelf, and 
 jny poor people in particular, and for the church of 
 God in general. In the morning, was very lifelefs 
 in prayer, and could get fcarce any feme of God. 
 Near noon, enjoyed fome fvveet freedom to pray 
 that the will of God might in every refpect become 
 mine : And I am perfuaded, it was fo at that time 
 in fome good degree. In the afternoon, I was ex- 
 ceeding weak, and could not enjoy much fervency 
 in prayer, but felt a great degree of dejection ; which, 
 I believe, was very much owing to my bodily weak- 
 nefs and diforder. 
 
 Lord's Day, January 6. — Was frill diftreffed with 
 vapoury diforders. Preached to my poor Indians ; 
 but had little heart or life. Towards night, my 
 foul was preifed under a fenfe of my unfaithfulnefs. 
 O the joy and peace that arifes from a fenfe of hav- 
 ing obtained mercy of God to be faithful ! And O, the 
 mifery and anguifh that fpring from an apprehen- 
 sion of the contrary ! 
 
 [His dejection continued the two next days ; but 
 not to fo great a degree onTuefday, when he enjoy- 
 ed fome freedom and fervency in preaching to the 
 Indians.] 
 
 Wedneflay t 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 171 
 
 Wedn?fday y January 9.— In the morning, God 
 was pleafed to remove that gloom which has of late 
 opprefTed my mind, and gave me freedom and 
 fweetnefs in prayer, I was encouraged and ftrength- 
 ened, and enabled to plead for grace for myfelf, and 
 mercy for my poor Indians ; and was lweetly af- 
 filed in my interceijions with God for others. BlefT- 
 ed be his holy name forever and ever : Amen, and 
 Amen. Thofe things that of late have appeared moil 
 difficult and almoft impoffible, now appeared not on- 
 ly pofhble, but eafy. My foul fo much delighted 
 to continue inftant in prayer, at this blefTed feafon, 
 that I had no deilre for my neceftary food ; evert 
 dreaded leaving off praying at all, left I mould lofe 
 this fpintuality, and this blefTed thankfulnefs to God 
 which I then felt. I felt now quite willing to live, 
 and undergo all trials that might remain for me in a 
 world of forrow ; but frill longed for heaven, that 
 I might glorify God in a perfecl: manner. O come, 
 Lord 'Jcjics, come quickly. Spent the day in reading 
 a little ; and in fqme diverfions, which I was necef- 
 iitated to take by reafon of much weaknefs and dif- 
 order. In the evening, enjoyed fome freedom and 
 intenfenefs in prayer. 
 
 [The three remaining days of the week, he was 
 very low and feeble in body ; but neverthelefs con- 
 tinued conftantly in the fame comfortable fweet frame 
 of mind, as is exprefTed on Wednefday. On the 
 Sabbath, this fweetnefs and fpiritual alacrity began 
 to abate : But frill he enjoyed fome degree of com- 
 fort, and had alTiftance in preaching to the Indians. 
 On Monday and Tuefday he was in a ft ate of depref- 
 fion.] 
 
 IVedncfday, and Thurfday, January 16, and 17. — I 
 fpent molt of the time in writing on a fweet divine 
 iubjeel, and enjoyed fome freedom and afliftance. 
 Was likewife enabled to pray more frequently and 
 
 fervently 
 
172 The LIFE of 
 
 fervently thanufual ; and my foul, I think, rejoiced 
 in God ; efpecially on the evening of the laft of thefe 
 days : Praife then feemed comely, and 1 delighted 
 to blefs the Lord. O what reafonhavel to be thank- 
 ful, that God ever helps me to labour and ftudy for 
 him ! He does but receive his own, when I am ena- 
 bled in any meafure to praife him, labour for him, 
 and live to him. O, how comfortable and fweet it 
 is, to feel the afliftance of divine grace in the per- 
 formance of the duties God has enjoined us / Blefs 
 the Lord, O my foul, 
 
 [The fame enlargement of heart and joyful frame 
 of foul continued through the next day. But on the 
 day following it began to decline ; which decay 
 feems to have continued the whole of the next week ; 
 which feems to have continued the week following 
 with an increafe of dejection and melancholy. Yet 
 he enjoyed fome feafons of fpecial and fweet aflift- 
 ance.] 
 
 Lord's Day, February 3. — In the morning, I was 
 fomewhat relieved of that gloom and confufion, that 
 my mind has of late been greatly exercifed with : 
 Was enabled to pray with fome compofure, and 
 comfort. But however, went to my Indians trem- 
 bling ; for my foul remembered the wormwood and 
 the gall (I might almoft fay the hell) of Friday laft ; 
 and I was greatly afraid 1 fhould be obliged again 
 to drink of that cup of trembling, which was incon- 
 ceivably more bitter than death, and made me long 
 for the grave more, unfpeakably more, than for hid 
 treafures, yea, inconceivably more than the men of 
 this world long for fuch treafures. But God was 
 pleafed to hear my cries, and to afford me great af- 
 iiftance ; fo that I felt peace in my own foul ; and 
 was fatisfied that if not one of the Indians fhould be 
 profited by my preaching, but fhould all be damn- 
 ed, yet I fhould be accepted and rewarded as faithful * 
 
 for 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD, 173 
 
 for I am perfuaded, God enabled me to be fo. Had 
 fome good degree of help afterwards, at another 
 place ; and much longed for the converfion of the 
 poor Indians. Was fomewhat refrefhed, and com- 
 fortable, towards night, and in the evening. O that 
 my foul might praife the Lord for his goodnefs. 
 Enjoyed fome freedom, in the evening, in meditation 
 on Luke xiii. 24. 
 
 [In the three next days, he was the fubject of 
 much dejection : But the three remaining days of 
 the week feem to have been fpent with much com- 
 pofure and comfort. On the next Sabbath, he 
 preached at Greenwich, in New-Jerfey. In the even- 
 ing, he rode eight miles to vifit a lick man at the 
 point of death, and found him fpeechlefs and fenfe- 
 lefs.] 
 
 Monday, February 11. — About break of day, the 
 fick man died. I was affected at the fight : Spent 
 the morning with the mourners ; and after prayer, 
 and fome difcourfe with them, I returned to Green- 
 wich, and preached again from Pfal. Ixxxix. 15. 
 And the Lord gave me affirmance : I felt a fweet love 
 to fouls, and to the kingdom of Chrft ; and longed 
 that poor finners might know the joyful found. Sev- 
 eral perfons were much affected. And after meet- 
 ing, I was enabled to difcourfe, with freedom and 
 concern, to fome perfons that applied to me under 
 fpiritual trouble. Left the place fweetly compofed, 
 and rode home to my houfe about eight miles dis- 
 tant. Difcourfed to friends, and inculcated divine 
 truths upon fome. In the evening, was in the moit 
 folcmn frame that almofl ever I remember to have 
 experienced : I know not that ever death appeared 
 more real to me, or that ever I faw myfelf in the 
 condition of a dead corpfe, laid out, and drelTcd for 
 a lodging in the filent grave, fo evidently as at this 
 time. And yet I felt exceeding comfortably : My 
 
 mirid 
 
1*74 The LIFE o f 
 
 mind was compofed and calm, and death appeared 
 without a fting. I think I never felt fuch an univer- 
 fal mortification to all created objects as now. O 
 how great and folemn a thing it appeared to die ! O 
 how it lays the greateft honour in the duft ! And O, 
 how vain and trifling did the riches, honours, and 
 pleafures of the world appear ! I could not, I dare 
 not, fo much as think of any of them ; for death, 
 death, folemn (though not frightful) death appear- 
 ed at the door. O, 1 could fee myfclf dead, and laid 
 out, and inclofed in my coffin, and put down into 
 the cold grave, with greateft folemnity, but without 
 terror ! I fpent moft of the evening, in converting 
 with a dear chriftian friend : And, blefTed be God, 
 it was a comfortable evening to us both. What are 
 friends ? What are comforts ? What are forrows ? 
 What are diftreffes ? The time is Jhort : It remains, 
 that they which weep.be as though they wept not ; and 
 they which rejoice, as though they rejoiced not ; for the 
 fajhion of this world paffeth away. O come, Lord jfc- 
 fus, come quickly : Amen. BlefTed be God for the 
 comforts of the paft day. 
 
 Tuefday, February 12.— Was exceeding weak ; but 
 in a fweet refigned, compofed frame, moft of the 
 day : Felt my heart freely go forth after God in 
 prayer. 
 
 Wednefday, February 13. — Was much exercifed 
 with vapoury diforders j but ftill enabled to main- 
 tain folemnity, and I think fpirituality. 
 
 Thurfday, February 14. — Spent the day in writing 
 on a divine fubject : Enjoyed health, and freedom' 
 in my work : Had a folemn fenfe of death ; as I 
 have indeed had every day this week, in fomemeaf- 
 ure : What I felt on Monday laft, has been abiding, 
 in fome confiderable degree, ever lincc. 
 
 Friday, February 15. — Was engaged in writing 
 again almoft the whole day. In the evening, was 
 
 much 
 
 . 
 
Mr. DAVID BR AI NERD. 175 
 
 much affiled in meditating on that precious text, 
 Joh. vii. 37. 'Jefus flood and cried, &c. I had then 
 a fweet fenfe of the free grace of the gofpel : My 
 foul was encouraged, warmed and quickened, and 
 my defires drawn out after God in prayer : My foul 
 was watchful, and afraid of lofing fo fweet a gueft 
 as I then entertained. 1 continued long in prayer, 
 and meditation, intermixing one with the other ; 
 and was unwilling to be diverted by any thing at all 
 from fo fweet an exercife. I longed to proclaim the 
 grace I then meditated upon, to the world of finners, 
 
 how quick and powerful is the word of the blelf- 
 ed God. 
 
 [The next day, he complains of great conflicts 
 with corruption, and much difcompofure of mind.] 
 
 Lord's Day, February 17. — Preached to the white 
 people (my interpreter being abfent) in the wilder- 
 nefs, upon the funny fide of a hill. Had a confider- 
 able afTembly, confifting of people that lived (at leafl 
 many of them) not lefs than thirty miles afunder ; 
 fome of them came near twenty miles. I difcourfed 
 to them, all day, from Joh. vii. 37. jf 'ej, us flood and 
 cried, faying, If any ?nan thirfl, &c. In the after- 
 noon, it pleafed God to grant me great freedom and 
 fervency hi my difcourfe ; and I was enabled to im- 
 itate the example of Chrift in the text, who flood 
 and cried. I think I was fcarce ever enabled to offer 
 the free grace of God to periihing finners with more 
 freedom and plainnefs in my life. And afterwards, 
 
 1 was enabled earnestly to invite the children of God 
 to come renewedly, and drink of this fountain of wa- 
 ter of life, from whence they have heretofore deriv- 
 ed unfpeakable fat is faction. It was a very comfort- 
 able time to me : There were many tears in the af- 
 fembly ; and I doubt not but that the Spirit of God 
 was there, convincing poor finners of their need of 
 Chrift. In the evening, I felt compofed, and com- 
 fortable, 
 
176 The LIFE of 
 
 fortable, though much tired : I had fome fvvcet fenfe 
 of the excellency and glory of God ; and my foul 
 rejoiced, that he was God over all bleffed 'forever ; but 
 was too much crowded with company and conver- 
 sation, and longed to be more alone with God. O 
 that I could forever blefs God for the mercy of this 
 day, who anfwered me in the joy of my heart. 
 
 [The reft of this week feems to have been fpent 
 under a decay of this life and joy, and in diftreffing 
 conflicts with corruption j but not without fome 
 feafons of ref refliment and comfort.] 
 . Lord's Day, February 24. — In the morning, was 
 much perplexed : My interpreter being abfent, I 
 knew not how to perform my work among the In- 
 dians. However, I rode to the Indians, got a Dutch- 
 man to interpret for me, though he was but poorly 
 qualified for the bufinefs. Afterwards, I came and 
 preached to a few white people from Joh. vi. 67. 
 Here the Lord feemed to unburden me in fome meas- 
 ure ; efpecially towards the clofe of my difcourfe : 
 I felt freedom to open the love of Chrijl to his own 
 dear difciples : When the reft of the world forfakes 
 him, and are forfaken by him, that he calls them no 
 more, he then turns to his own, and fays, JVillyealfo 
 go away P I had a fenfe of the free grace of Chrift 
 to his own people, in fuch feafons of general apofta- 
 iy, and when they themfelves in fome meafure back- 
 ilide with the world. O the free grace of Chrift, 
 that he feafonably minds his people of their danger 
 of backiliding, and invites them to perfevere in their 
 adherence to himfelf ! I faw that backiliding fouls, 
 who feemed to be about to go away with the world, 
 might return, and welcome, to him immediately; 
 without any thing to recommend them ; notwith- 
 ftanding all their former backflidings. And thus 
 my difcourfe was fuited to my own foul's cafe : For, 
 of late, I have found a great want of this fenfe and 
 
 apprehenfion 
 
Mr. DA VID BRAINERD. 177 
 
 apprehension of divine grace ; and have often been 
 greatly diltrefled in my own foul,becaufe I did not 
 fuitably apprehend this fountain opened to purge away 
 Jin ; and fo have been too much labouring for ipiritual 
 life, peace of confcience, and progreflive holineis, 
 in my own ftrength : But now God fhewed me, in 
 fome meafure, the arm of all ftrength, and the foun- 
 tain of all grace. In the evening, I felt folemn, de- 
 vout, and fweet, refting on free grace for affiftance, 
 acceptance, and peace of confcience. 
 
 [Within the fpace of the next nine days, he had 
 frequent refreftiing, invigorating influences of God's 
 fpirit ; attended with complaint of dulnefs, and 
 with longings after fpiritual life and holy fervency.] 
 
 Wednesday, March 6. — Spent moit of the day in 
 preparing for a journey to New-England. Spent 
 fome time in prayer, with a fpecial reference to my 
 intended journey. Was afraid I fliould forfake the 
 fountain of living waters > and attempt to derive fatis- 
 faction from broken cijiems, my dear friends and ac- 
 quaintance, with whom I might meet in my journey. 
 I looked to God to keep me from this vanity in fpe- 
 cial, as well as others. Towards night, and in the 
 evening, was vifited by fome friends, fome of whom, 
 I truft, were real chriftians ; who difcovered an af- 
 fectionate regard to me, and feemed grieved that I 
 was about to leave them ; efpecially feeing I did not 
 expect to make any confiderable ftay among them, 
 if I fliould live to return from New-England*. O 
 how kind has God been to me ! How has he raifed 
 up friends in every place, where his providence has 
 called me ! Friends are a great comfort ; and it is 
 God that gives them ; it is he makes them friendly 
 to me. B/efs the Lord, O my foul, and forget not alt 
 his benefits. 
 
 M [The 
 
 * It feems he had a defjgn, by what afterwards appears, to remove and li 
 the Indians at Sutquehannah river. 
 
 v2 amps* 
 
178 The LI F E o f 
 
 [The next day, he fet out on his journey ; and it 
 was about five weeks before he returned. The fpe- 
 cial defign of this journey, he himfelf declares after- 
 wards, ip bis Diary for March ai. Where, fpeak- 
 ing of his converting with a certain minilter in New- 
 England, he fays thus, Contrived with him how to 
 raife fome money among chriftian friends, in order 
 to fupport a colleague with me in the wildernefs, (I 
 having now fpent two years in a very folitary man- 
 ner) that we might be together ; as Chrift lent out 
 his difciples, two and two: And as this was the 
 principal concern I had in view, in taking this jour- 
 ney, fo I took pains in it, and hope God will fuc- 
 ceed it if for his glory. He fir ft went into various 
 parts of New-Jerfey, and vifited feveral minifters 
 there : And then went to New-York ; and from 
 thence into New-England, going to various parts of 
 Connecticut : And then returned into New-Jerfey* 
 He met a number of minifters at Woodbridge, who 
 (he fays) met there to confult about the affairs of 
 thrift's kingdom, in fome important articles. He 
 feems, for themofl part, to have been free from mel- 
 ancholy in this journey ; and many times to have 
 had extraordinary aftiftance in publick miniftrations, 
 and his preaching fometimes attended with very 
 hopeful appearances of a good effect on the audito- 
 ry. He alfo had many feafons of fpecial comfort 
 and fpiritual refrefhment, in converfation with min- 
 ifters and other chriftian friends, and alfo in medita- 
 tion and prayer by himfelf alone.] 
 
 Saturday, April 13. — Rode home to my own houfe 
 at the Forks of Delaware : Was enabled to remem- 
 ber the goodnefs of the Lord, who has now preferved 
 me while riding full fix hundred miles in this jour- 
 ney ; has kept me that none of my bones have been 
 broken. BleiTed be the Lord, who has preferved me 
 in this tedious journey, and returned me in fofety to 
 
 my 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 179 
 
 my own houfe. Verily it is God that has upheld 
 me, and guarded my goings. 
 
 Lord's Day, April 14. — Was difordered in body 
 with the fatigues of my late journey ; but was ena- 
 bled however to preach to a confiderable aiTembly of 
 white people, gathered from all parts round about, 
 with fo me freedom, from Ezek. xxxiii. 11. As I 
 live, faith the Lord God, &c. had much more affift- 
 ance than I expected. 
 
 [This week, he went a journey to Philadelphia/ 
 in order to engage the governour there to ufe his in- 
 tereft with the chief man of the Six Nations, (with 
 whom he maintained a ftricl: friend (hip) that he 
 would give him leave to live at Sufquehannah, and 
 inftrucl: the Indians that are within their territories. 
 In his way to and from thence, he lodged with Mr. 
 Beaty, a young Prefbyterian minifter. He fpeaks 
 of feafons of fweet fpiritual refrefhment, that he en- 
 joyed at his lodgings.] 
 
 Saturday, April 20. — Rode with Mr. Beaty to 
 Abington, to attend Mr. Treat's administration of 
 the facrament, according to the method of the church 
 of Scotland. When we arrived, we found Mr. Treat 
 preaching : Afterwards I preached a fermon from 
 Matth. v. 3. Blejfed are the poor infpirit, &c. God 
 was pleafed to give me great freedom and tender- 
 nefs, both in prayer and fermon : The aiTembly was 
 fweetly melted, and fcores were all in tears. It was, as 
 I then hoped and was afterwards abundantly fatisfi- 
 ed by converting with them, a word fpoken infeafon, 
 to many weary fouls. I was extremely tired, and my 
 fpirits much exhaufted, fo that I could fcarcely fpeak 
 loud ; yet I could not help rejoicing in God. 
 
 Lord's Day, April 21 . — In the morning, was calm 
 and compofed, and had fome outgoings of foul after 
 God in fecret duties, and longing defires of his pref- 
 ence in the lancluary and at his table ; that his pref- 
 
 M 2 ence 
 
i8d The LIFE of 
 
 ence might be in the affembly ; and that his children 
 might be entertained with a feqfl of fat things. In 
 the forenoon, Mr. Treat preached. I felt fome af- 
 fection and tendernefs in the feafon of the adminif- 
 tration of the ordinance. Mr. Beaty preached to the 
 multitude abroad, who could not half have crowded 
 into the meeting houfe. In the feafon of the com- 
 munion, 1 had comfortable and fweet apprehenfions 
 of the blifsful communion of God's people, when 
 they mall meet at their father's table in his kingdom, 
 in a ftate of perfection. In the afternoon, I preach- 
 ed abroad to the whole affembly, from Rev. xiv. 4. 
 Thefe are., they that follow the Lamb, &c. God was 
 pleafed again to give me very great freedom and 
 clearnefs, but not fo much warmth as before. How- 
 ever, there was a moft amazing attention in the 
 whole affembly ; and, as I was informed afterwards, 
 this was a fweet feafon to many. 
 
 Monday, April 11. — I enjoyed fome fweetnefs in 
 retirement, in the morning. At eleven o'clock Mr. 
 Beaty preached, with freedom and life. Then I 
 preached- from Joh. vii. 37. and concluded the fo- 
 lemnity. Had fome freedom ; but not equal to 
 what I had enjoyed before : Yet in the prayer, the 
 Lord enabled me to cry (I hope) with v a child like 
 temper, with tendernefs, and brokennefs of heart; 
 Came home with Mr. Beaty to his lodgings ; and 
 fpent the time, while riding, and afterwards, very 
 agreeably on divine things. 
 
 . Tuefday, April 23.— Left Mr. Beaty's, and re- 
 turned home to the Forks of Delaware : Enjoyed 
 fome fweet meditations, on the road, and was 
 enabled to lift up my heart to God in prayer and 
 praife. 
 
 [The two next days, he fpeaks of much bodily 
 diforder, but of fome degrees of fpiritual affiilance 
 and freedom.] 
 
 Friday, 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 181 
 
 Friday, April 26. — Converfed with a chriftian 
 friend with fome warmth ; and felt a fpirit of mor- 
 tification to the world, in a very great degree. Af- 
 terwards, was enabled to pray fervently and to rely 
 on God fweetly, for all things pertaining to life and 
 godlinefs. Juft in the evening, was vifited by a dear 
 chriftian friend, with whom I fpent an hour or two 
 in conversation, on the very foul of religion. There 
 are many with whom I can talk about religion : But 
 alas, I find few with whom I can talk religion itfelf : 
 But, bleffed be the Lord, there are fome that love to 
 feed on the kernel, rather than the ffiell. 
 
 [The next day he went to the Irifh fettlement, 
 often before mentioned, about fifteen miles diftant ; 
 where he fpent the Sabbath, and preached with 
 fome confiderable affiilance. On Monday, he re- 
 turned, in a very weak if ate, to his own lodgings.] 
 
 Tuefday* April 30. — Was fcarceable to walk about, 
 and was obliged to betake myfelf to the bed, much 
 of the day ; and fpent away the time in a very foli- 
 tary manner ; being neither able to read, meditate, 
 nor pray, and had none to converfe with in that wil- 
 dernefs. O, how heavily does time pais away, when 
 I can do nothing to any good purpofe ; but feem 
 obliged to trifle away precious time I But of late, I 
 have feen it my duty to divert myfelf by all lawful 
 means, that I may be fit, at leaft fome fmall part of 
 my time, to labour for God. And here is the dif- 
 ference between my prefent diveriions, and thofe I 
 once purfued, when in a natural itate. Then I made 
 a god of diveriions, delighted in them with a neg- 
 lect of God, and drew my higheft faiisfadtion from 
 them : Now I ufe them as means to help me in liv- 
 ing to God ; fixedly delighting in him, and not in 
 them, drawing my higheft fatisfadion from him. 
 Then they were my all j now they are only means 
 leading to my all. And thpfe things that are the 
 M 3 greateft 
 
182 The LIFE of 
 
 greateft diverfion, when purfued with this view, do 
 not tend to hinder, but promote my fpirituality ; and 
 I fee now, more than ever, that they are abfolutely 
 neceflary. 
 
 Wednefday % May i . — Was not able to fit up more than 
 half the day ; and yet had fuch recruits of ftrength 
 fometimes, that I was able to write a little on a divine 
 iubjedt. Was grieved that I could no more live to 
 God. In the evening, had fome fvveetnefs and in- 
 tenfenefs in fecret prayer. 
 
 Thurfday, May 2. — In the evening, being a little 
 better in health, I walked into the woods, and enjoy- 
 ed a fvveet feafon of meditation and prayer. My 
 thoughts run upon Pfal. xvii. 15. I Jhall be fatisfi- 
 ed, when I awake with thy likenefs. And it was in-' 
 deed a precious text to me. I longed to preach to 
 the whole world : And it feemed to me, they mult 
 needs all be melted in hearing fuch precious divine 
 truths, as I had then a view and relifh of. My 
 thoughts were exceeding clear, and my foul was re- 
 frefhed. BlefTed be the Lord, that in my late and 
 prefent weaknefs, now for many days together, my 
 mind is not gloomy, as at fome other times. 
 
 Friday, May 3. — Felt a little vigour of body and 
 mind, in the morning : Had fome freedom, ftrength, 
 and fweetnefs in prayer. Rode to and fpent fome 
 time with my Indians. In the evening, again retir- 
 ing into the woods, I enjoyed fome fweet medita- 
 tions on Ifai. liii. 10. Yet it pleafedthe Lord to bruife 
 him, &c. 
 
 [The three next days were fpent in much weak- 
 nefs of body : But yet he enjoyed fome afliflance in 
 publick and private duties : And feems to have re- 
 mained free from melancholy.] 
 
 Tuefday, May 7. — Spent the day mainly in mak- 
 ing preparation for a journey into the wildernefs. 
 Was (till weak, and concerned how I mould perform 
 
 fo 
 
Mr. DAVID B R A I N E R D. 183 
 
 £0 difficult a journey. Spent fome time in prayer 
 for the divine blefTmg, direction and protection in 
 my intended journey ; but wanted bodily ftrength to 
 fpend the day in failing and prayer. 
 
 [Hie next day, he fet out on his journey to Sufque- 
 hannah, with his interpreter. He endured great hard- 
 ships and fatigues in his way thither through a hid- 
 eous wildernefs ; where, after havinglodged one night 
 in the open woods, he was overtaken with a northeail- 
 erly ftorm, in which he was almoft ready to periih. 
 Having no manner of fhelter, and hot being able to 
 make a fire in fo great a rain, he could have no com- 
 fort if he flopped ; therefore determined to go for- 
 ward, in hopes of meeting with fome fhelter, with- 
 out which he thought it impoilible he fhould live 
 the night through : But their horfes happening to 
 have eat poifon for want of other food, at a place 
 where they lodged the night before, were fo iick that 
 they could neither ride nor lead them, but were 
 obliged to drive them before them, and travel on 
 foot ; until, through the mercy of God, juft at dulk, 
 they came to a bark hut, where they lodged that 
 night. After he came to Sufquehannah, he travel- 
 led about the length of an hundred miles on the riv- 
 er, and vifited many towns and fettlements ot the 
 Indians ; faw fome of feven or eight di(t incl tribes ; 
 and preached to different nations, by different inter- 
 preters. He was fometimes much difcouraged, and 
 funk in his fpirits, through the opposition that ap- 
 peared in the Indians to chriflianity. Atother times, 
 lie was encouraged by the difpoiltion that fome of 
 theie people manifefted to hear, and willingnefs to 
 be iniiructed. He here met with fome that had for- 
 merly been his hearers at Kaunaumeek, and had re- 
 moved hither ; who faw and heard him again with 
 great joy. He fpent a fortnight among the Indians 
 on this river ; and palled through considerable la- 
 M 4 hours 
 
1 84 The LIFE of 
 
 bours and hardfhips, frequently lodging on the 
 ground, and fometimes in the open air ; and at 
 length he fell extremely ill, as he was riding in the 
 wildernefs, being feized with an ague, followed 
 with a burning fever, and extreme pains in his head 
 and bowels, attended with a great evacuation of 
 blood ; fo that he thought he muft have perifhed in 
 the wildernefs : But at lafl coming to an Indian tra- 
 der's hut, he got leave to ftay there ; and though 
 without phyfick or food proper for him, it pleafed 
 God, after about a week's diftrefs, to relieve him fo 
 far that he was able to ride. He returned home- 
 wards from Juncauta, an Ifland far down the river ; 
 where was a considerable number of Indians, who 
 appeared more free from prejudicesagainfichriflian- 
 ity than mofl of the other Indians. He arrived at 
 the Forks of Delaware on Thurfday, May 30, after 
 having rode in this journey about three hundred 
 and forty miles. He came home in a very weak 
 ftate, and under dejection of mind ; which was a 
 great hindrance to him in religious exercifes. — 
 However, on the Sabbath, after having preached 
 to the Indians, he preached to the white people, 
 with fome fuccefs, from Ifai. liii. 10. Tet it pleaf- 
 ed the Lord to briiife him, &c. fome being awak- 
 ened by his preaching. The next day, he was 
 much exercifed for want of fpiritual life and fer- 
 vency.] 
 
 Tuefday, 'June 4. — Towards evening was in dif- 
 trefs for God's prefence and a fenfe of divine things : 
 Withdrew myfelf to the woods, an K d fpent near an 
 hour in prayer and meditation ; and I think the 
 Lord had companion on me, and gave me fome 
 fenfe of divine things ; which was indeed refresh- 
 ing and quickening to me : My foul enjoyed in- 
 tenfenefs and freedom in prayer, fo that it grieved me 
 to leave the place. 
 
 Wednefday, 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 184 
 
 Wednefday, June 5. — Felt thirfting defires after 
 God, in the morning. In the evening enjoyed a pre- 
 cious feafon of retirement : Was favoured with fome 
 clear and fvveet meditations upon a facred text : 
 Divine things opened with clearnefs and certainty, 
 and had a divine ftamp upon them. My foul was 
 alfo enlarged and refreshed in prayer ; and I delight- 
 ed to continue in the duty ; and was fweetly afiift- 
 ed in praying for fellow chriftians, and my dear 
 brethren in the miniftry. BlefTed be the dear Lord 
 for fuch enjoyments. O how fweet and precious it 
 is, to have a clear apprehenfion and tender fenfe of 
 the myflery ofgodlinefs, of true holinefs, and likenefs 
 to the befr. of beings ! O what a blelfednefs it is, to 
 be as much like God as it is pofTible for a creature 
 to be like his great Creator ! Lord give me more 
 of thy likenefs : I Hi all be fatisjied> when I awake 
 •with it. 
 
 c Thurfday, June 6, — Was engaged a considerable 
 part of the day, in meditation and ftudy on divine 
 fubjects. Enjoyed fome fpecial freedom, clearnefs, 
 and fweetnefs in meditation. O how refrefhing it 
 is, to be enabled to improve time well ! 
 
 [The next day he went a journey of near fif- 
 ty miles, to Neiliaming, to affiil at a facramental 
 occaiion, to be attended at Mr. Beaty's meet- 
 ing hbofe j being invited thither by him and his 
 pc pie.] 
 
 ''ay, June 8. — Was exceeding weak and fa- 
 tigued with riding in the heat yefterday : But being 
 defirsd, I preached in the afternoon, to a crowded 
 audience, from Ifai. xl. I. Comfort ye, comfort ye ?ny 
 people y faith your God. God was pleafed to give me 
 great freedom, in opening the ibrrows of God's peo- 
 ple, and in letting before them comforting confed- 
 erations. And blciTed be the Lord, it was a fweet 
 melting feafon in the afTembly. 
 
 Lord's 
 
1 86 --The LIFE of 
 
 Lord's Day, 'June 9. — Felt fome longing defires of 
 the prefence of God to be with his people on the fol- 
 emn occafion of the day. In the forenoon Mr. Beaty 
 preached ; and there appeared fome warmth in the 
 affembly. Afterwards I affifted in the adminiftra- 
 tion of the Lord's Supper : And towards the clofe 
 of it, I difcourfed to the multitude extempore, with 
 fome reference to that facred paffage, Kai. liii. 10. 
 Yet it pleaj'ed the Lord to bruife him. Here God 
 gave me great afliftance in addreffing tinners : And 
 the word was attended with amazing power ; ma- 
 ny fcores, if not hundreds, in that great affembly, 
 conllfting of three or four thoufand, were much af- 
 fected ; fo that there was a very great mounting, like 
 the mourning of Hadadrimmon, In the evening I 
 could hardly look any body in the face, becaufe of 
 the imperfections I faw in my performances in the 
 day paft. 
 
 Monday, 'June 10.— Preached with a good degree 
 of clearnefs and with fome fweet warmth, from 
 Pfal. xvii. 15. 1 jhall be jatisjied, when I awake with thy 
 likenefs. And bleffed be God, there was a great fo- 
 lemnity and attention in the affembly, and fweet 
 refreihment among God's people ; as was evident 
 then and afterwards. 
 
 Tuefday, June II. — Spent the day mainly in con- 
 versation with dear chriftian friends ; and enjoyed 
 fome fweet fenfe of divine things. O how denia- 
 ble it is, to keep company with God's dear children ! 
 Thefe are the excellent ones of the earth, in whom, I 
 can truly fay, is all my delight, O what delight will 
 it afford, to meet them all in a ftate of perfection ! 
 Lord, prepare me for that ftate. 
 
 [The next day he left Mr. Beaty *s, and went to 
 Maidenhead in New-Jerfey ; and fpent the next 
 feven days in a comfortable ftate of mind, vifiting 
 feveral minifters in thofe parts.] 
 
 Tuefday, 
 
Mr. DAVID BRA I NERD. 187 
 
 Tuefday, June 18.— Set out from New-Brunfwick 
 ■with a defign to vifit (ome Indians at a place called 
 Crofweekfung in New-Jerfey, towards the fea. In 
 the afternoon, came to a place called Cranber- 
 ry, and meeting with a ferious minifler, Mr. 
 M'Night, I lodged there with him. Had fome en- 
 largement and freedom in prayer with a number of 
 people. 
 
 PART 
 
1 88 The LIFE of 
 
 PART VIL 
 
 From his Jirjl beginning to preach to the Indians at 
 Crosweeksung, until he returned from his lajt 
 journey to Susquehannah /// with the confump- 
 tio-n, whereof he died. 
 
 [T 71 TE are now come to that part of Mr Brainerd's 
 V V life wherein he had his greateft fuccefs, in 
 his labours for the good of fouls, and in his particu- 
 lar buflnefs as a MifTionary to the Indians. An ac- 
 count of which, if here publifhed, would doubtlefs 
 be very entertaining to the reader, after he has fcen 
 by the preceding parts of this account of his iife, 
 how great and long continued his deiires for the fpir- 
 itual good of this fort of people were, how he pray- 
 ed, laboured and wreftled, and how much he deni- 
 ed himfelf and fuffered, to this end. After all Mr. 
 Brainerd's agonizing in prayer, and travelling in 
 birth, for the converfion of Indians, and all the in- 
 terchanges of his raifed hopes and expectations, and 
 then difappointments and difcouragements ; and af- 
 ter waiting in a way of perfevering prayer, labour 
 and fuffering, as it were through a long night, 
 at length the day dawns : Weeping continues for a 
 nighty hut joy comes in the morning. He went forth 
 weeping, bearing precious feed, and now he comes with 
 rejoicing, bringing his Jh eaves with him. The de fir- 
 ed event is brought to pafs at lail ; but at a time, in 
 a place, and upon fubjects, that fcarce ever entered 
 into his heart. An account of the whole fcene the 
 reader will find in the annexed journal.] 
 
 Wcdnefday\ 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 189 
 
 Wednejday, June 19, 1745. — Rode to the Indians 
 at Crofweekfung : Found few at home ; difcourfed 
 to them however ; and obferved them very ferious 
 and attentive. At night I was extremely worn out, 
 and fcarce able to walk or fit up. O how tirefome 
 is earth ! How dull the body ! 
 
 Friday, June 2,1. — Rode to Freehold, to fee Mr, 
 William Tennent ; and fpent the day comfortably 
 with him. My linking fpirits were a little raifed 
 and encouraged ; and I felt my foul breathing after 
 God, in the midft of chriftian converfation. And 
 in the evening was refreshed in fecret prayer : Saw 
 myfelfa poor worthlefs creature, without wifdom to 
 direct or ftrength to help myfelf. O bleffed be God, 
 that lays me under a happy, a bleffed neceility of 
 living upon himfelf ! 
 
 [In the five next days is nothing remarkable in 
 his diary, but what is in his publick journal.] 
 
 Tburfday, June 27. — My foul rejoiced to find that 
 God enabled me to be faithful, and that he was 
 pleafed to awaken thefe poor Indians by my means. 
 O how heart reviving, and foul refrefhing is it to me 
 to fee the fruit of my labours ! 
 
 Friday, June 28. — In the evening my foul was 
 revived and my heart lifted up to God in prayer, 
 for my poor Indians, myfelf and friends, and the dear 
 church of God, And O how refrefhing, how fweet 
 was this ! Blefs the Lord, O my foul, and forget not 
 his goodnefs and tender mercy. 
 
 Saturday, June2g. — Preached twice to the Indians % 
 and could not but wonder at their ferioufnefs, and 
 the ftrictnefs of their attention. Bleffed be God that 
 has inclined their hearts to hear. And O how re- 
 frefhing it is to me, to fee them attend with fuch 
 uncommon diligence and affection, with tears in 
 their eyes, and concern in their hearts ! In the even- 
 ing could not but lift up my heart to God in prayer, 
 
 while 
 
190 The LIFE of 
 
 while riding to my lodgings : And bleffed be bis 
 name, had afiiftance and freedom. O how much 
 better than life is the prefence of God ! 
 
 [His Diary gives an account of nothing remarkable 
 on the two next days, befides what is in his publick 
 journal ; excepting his heart's being lifted up with 
 thankfulnefs, rejoicing in God, &cj 
 
 Tuefday, 'July %. — Rode from the Indians to Brunf- 
 wick, near forty miles, and lodged there. Felt my 
 heart drawn out after God in prayer, almoft all the 
 forenoon ; efpecially while riding. And in the 
 evening could not help crying to God for thofe poor 
 Indians ; and after I went to bed, my heart continu- 
 ed to go out to God for them, until I dropped afleep. 
 O bleffed be God that I may pray ! 
 
 [He was fo beat out by conflant preaching to thefe 
 Indians, yielding to their earneft and importunate 
 defires, that he found it neceffary to give himfelr 
 fome relaxation. He fpent, therefore, about a week 
 in New-Jerfey, after he left thefe Indians, vifiting 
 feveral minifters, and performing fome neceffary 
 bufinefs, before he went to the Forks of Delaware. 
 And though he was very weak in body, yet he feems 
 to have been ftrong in fpirit. On Friday, July 12, 
 he arrived at his own houfe in the Forks of Dela- 
 ware ; continuing ftill free from melancholy ; from 
 day to day, enjoying freedom, affiftance and refrefh- 
 ment in the inner man. But on Wednefday, 
 the next week, he feems to have had fome mel- 
 ancholy thoughts about his doing fo little for 
 God ; being fo much hindered by weaknefs of 
 body.] 
 
 Thurfday, Ju/y 18. — Longed to fpend the little 
 inch of time I have in the world more for God. Felt 
 a fpirit of ferioufnefs, tendernefs, fweetnefs, and de- 
 votion, and wifhed to fpend the whole night in prayer 
 and communion with God. 
 
 Friday, 
 
Mr. DAVID BR A I NERD 191 
 
 Friday, July 19. — In the evening, walked abroad 
 for prayer and meditation, and enjoyed compofure 
 and freedom in thefe fvveet exercifes ; efpecially in 
 meditation on Rev. iii. 12. Him that overeometh, will 
 I make a pillar in the temple of my God, &c. This 
 was then a delightful theme to me, and it refrellied 
 my foul to dwell upon it. O, when (hall I go no 
 more out from the fervice and enjoyment of the dear 
 Lord ? Lord, haften the bleiTed day. 
 
 [Within the fpace of the next fix days, he fpeaks 
 of much inward refreshment and enlargement from 
 time to time.] 
 
 Friday, July 26. — In the evening, God was pleaf- 
 ed to help me in prayer, beyond what I have expe- 
 rienced for fome time ; efpecially my foul was 
 drawn out for the enlargement of ChrifVs kingdom, 
 and for the converfion of my poor people ; and my 
 foul relied on God for the accomplishment of that 
 great work. O, how fweet were the thoughts of 
 death to me at. this time ! O, how I longed to be 
 with Chrifl, to be employed in the glorious work 
 of angels, and with an angel's freedom, vigour and 
 delight ! And yet how willing was I to (ray a while 
 on earth, that I might do Something, if the Lord 
 pleafed, for his intereft in the world ! My foul, my 
 very foul, longed for the ingathering of the poor 
 heathen ; and I cried to God for them moft willingly 
 and heartily ; and yet becaufe I could not but cry. 
 This was a fweet feafon ; for I had fome lively tafte 
 of heaven, and a temper of mind fuited in fome 
 meafure to the employments and entertainments of 
 it. My foul was grieved to leave the place ; but my 
 body was weak and worn out, and it was near nine 
 o'clock. O, I longed that the remaining part of my 
 life might be filled up with more fervency and activ- 
 ity in the things of God ! O, the inward peace, com- 
 pofure, and God like ferenity of fuch a frame \ 
 
 Heaven 
 
192 The LIFE of 
 
 Heaven muft needs differ from this only in degree, 
 and not in kind. Lord ever give me this bread of life. 
 
 [Much of this frame iecmed to continue the 
 next day.] 
 
 Lord's Day, July 28. — In the evening my foul 
 was melted, and my heart broken, with a fenfe of 
 part barrennefs and deadnefs : And O, how I then 
 longed to live to God, and bring forth much fruit 
 to his glory ! 
 
 Monday, July 29.— Was much exercifed with a 
 fenfe of vilenefs, with guilt and thame before God. 
 
 [On Wednefday, July 31, he fetout on his return 
 to Crofweekfung, and arrived there the next day. 
 In his way thither, hehad longingdelires that he might 1 
 come to the Indians there, in the fulnefs of the bleff- 
 ing of the gofpel of Chrifl ; attended with a fenfe of his 
 own great weaknefs, dependence and worthleffnefs.] 
 
 Friday, Augufl 2. — In the evening I retired, and 
 my foul was drawn out in prayer to God ; efpecial- 
 ly for my poor people, to whom I had fent word 
 that they might gather together, that I might preach 
 to them the next day. I was much enlarged in pray- 
 ing for their faving converfion ; and fcarce ever 
 found my delires of any thing of this nature fo fen- 
 fibly and clearly (to my own fatisfaction) difinter- 
 efted, and free from felfifh views. It feemed to me, 
 I had no care, or hardly any defire to be the inftru- 
 ment of fo glorious a work, as I wilhed and prayed 
 for among the Indians : If the bleffed work might 
 be accomplifhed to the honour of God, and the en- 
 largement of the dear Redeemer's kingdom, this was 
 all my defire and care ; and for this mercy I honed, 
 but with trembling ; for I felt what Job expreffes, 
 chapter ix. 16. My rifing hopes, refpe&ing the 
 converfion of the Indians, have been fo often dafh.- 
 ed, that my fpirit is as it were broken, and courage 
 wafted, and I hardly dare hope. 
 
 [Concerning 
 
Mr. DAVID B R A I N E R D. 193 
 
 [Concerning his labours and marvellous fuccefs 
 amongil the Indians, for the following fixteen days, 
 let the reader fee his Journal. The things worthy 
 of note in his Diary, not there published, are his earn- 
 er!: and importunate prayers for the Indians, and the 
 travail of his foul for them from day to day ; and his 
 great refrefhment and joy in beholding the wonder- 
 ful mercy of God, and the glorious manifestations of 
 his power and grace in his work among them ; 
 and his ardent thankfgivings to God ; his heart's re- 
 joicing in Chrift, as king of his church, and king of 
 his foul, in particular at the facrament of the Lord's 
 fupper, at Mr. M'Night's meeting houfe ; a fenfe 
 of his own exceeding unworthinefs ; which fome- 
 tirnes was attended with dejection and melancholy.] 
 
 Monday, Augufi 19. — Near noon I rode to Free- 
 hold and preached to a considerable afTembly, from 
 Matth. v. 3. It pleafed God to leave me to be very 
 dry and barren ; fo that I do not remember to have 
 been fo Straitened for a whole twelvemonth pair. 
 God is juir, and he has made my foul acquiefce in 
 his will in this regard. It is contrary to flejh and 
 blood to be cut off from all freedom, in a large audi- 
 tory, where their expectations are much raifed ; but 
 fo it was with me : And God helped me to fay 
 Amen to it ; Good is the will of the Lord. In the 
 evening I felt quiet and compofed, and had freedom, 
 and comfort in fecret prayer. 
 
 Tuefday, Augufi 20. — Was compofed and com- 
 fortable, ftill in a refigned frame. Travelled 
 from Mr. Tennent's in Freehold, to Elizabeth- 
 Town. Was refrefhed to fee friends, and relate to 
 them what God had done, and was flill doing 
 among my poor people. 
 
 Wednefday, Auguji 21. — Spent the forenoon in 
 converfation with Mr. Dickinfon, contriving fome- 
 nting for the fettfement of the Indians together in a 
 
 N body, 
 
194 The LIFE of 
 
 body, that they might be under better advantages for 
 inftru<ftion. In the afternoon, fpent time agreea- 
 bly with other friends ; wrote to my brother at col- 
 lege : But was grieved that time Aid away, while I 
 did fo little for God. 
 
 Friday, Augujl X^. — In the morning was very weak ; 
 but favoured with fome freedom and fweetnefs in 
 prayer : Was compofed and comfortable in mind. 
 After noon rode to Crofweekfung to my poor people. 
 
 Saturday ', Augujl 24. — Had compofure and peace, 
 while riding from the Indians to my lodgings : Was 
 enabled to pour out my foul to God for dear friends 
 in New-England. Felt a fweet tender frame of 
 fpirit : My foul was compofed and refrethed in God. 
 Had likewife freedom and earneftnefs in praying 
 for my dear people: BlelTed be God. O the peace 
 of God that pajfeth allunderjianding. It is impoffible 
 to defcribe the fweet peace of confeience, and ten- 
 dernefs of foul, I then enjoyed. O the bleffed fore- 
 taftes of heaven ! 
 
 Lord's Day, Augujl 25. — I rode to my lodgings in 
 the evening, bleiTing the Lord for his gracious vifit- 
 ation of the Indians, and the foul refrelhing things I 
 had feen the day paft amongfl them, and praying 
 that God would ftill carry on his divine work among 
 them. 
 
 Monday, Augujl 26. — I went from the Indians to 
 my lodgings, rejoicing for the goodnefs of God to 
 my poor people ; and enjoyed freedom of foul in 
 prayer, and other duties, in the evening. Blefs the 
 Lord, O my foul. 
 
 [The next day he fetout on a journey towards the 
 Forks of Delaware, defigning to go from thence to 
 Sufquehannah, before he returned to Crofweekfung. 
 Jt was five days from his departure from Crofweek- 
 fung before he reached the Forks, going round by 
 the way of Philadelphia, and waiting on the govern- 
 
 our 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 195 
 
 our of Pennfylvania, to get a recommendation from 
 him to the chiefs of the Indians ; which he obtained. 
 He fpeaks of much comfort and fpiritual refrefh- 
 ment in this journey ; and alfo a ienfe of his exceed- 
 ing unworthinefs, thinking himfelf the meaneft 
 creature that ever lived.] 
 
 Lord's Day*, September 1 . — [At the Forks of Dela- 
 ware.] God gave me the fpirit of prayer, and it was 
 a bleffed feafon in that refpect. My foul cried to 
 God for mercy, in an affectionate manner. In the 
 evening alfo my foul rejoiced in God. 
 
 [His private Diary has nothing remarkable, for 
 the two next days, but what is in his Journal.] 
 
 Wednefday, September 4. — Rode fifteen miles to an 
 Irilh fettlement, and preached there from Luke xiv. 
 22. Andyet there is room. God was pleafed to afford 
 me fome tendernefs and enlargement in the firft 
 prayer, and much freedom, as well as warmth, in 
 fermon. There were many tears in the affembly : 
 The people of God feemed to melt, and others to be 
 in fome meafure awakened. BlelTed be the Lord, that 
 lets me fee his work going on in one place and another. 
 
 Lord's Day, September 8. — In the evening God 
 was pleafed to enlarge me in prayer, and give me 
 freedom at the throne of grace : I cried to God for 
 the enlargement of his kingdom in the world, and in 
 particular among my dear people ; was alfo enabled 
 to pray for many dear ministers of my acquaintance, 
 both in thefe parts, and in New-England ; and alfo 
 for other dear friends in New-England. And my 
 foul was fo engaged and enlarged in that fweet ex- 
 ercife, that I fpent near an hour in it, and knew 
 not how to leave the mercy feat. O, how I delight- 
 ed to pray and cry to God ! I faw God was both' 
 able and willing to do all that I delired, for rhyfelf 
 and friends, and his church in general. I was like* 
 wife much enlarged -and aflifted in family, prayer,- 
 
 N 3 Aivi 
 
196 The LIFE of 
 
 And afterwards, when I was juft going to bed, God 
 helped me to renew my petitions with ardency and 
 freedom. O, it was to me a blefTed evening of 
 prayer. Blefs the Lord, O my foul. 
 
 [The next day he fet out from the Forks of Dela- 
 ware to go to Sufquehannah. And on the fifth day 
 of his journey, he arrived at Shaumoking, a large 
 Indian town on Sufquehannah river. He perform- 
 ed the journey under a confiderable degree of melan- 
 choly, occafioned at firft by his hearing that the 
 Moravians were gone before him to the Sufquehan- 
 nah Indians.] 
 
 Saturday, September 14. — [At Shaumoking.] In 
 the evening my foul was enlarged and fweetly en- 
 gaged in prayer ; efpecially that God would fet up 
 his kingdom in this place, where the devil now 
 reigns in the rnoft eminent manner. And I was en- 
 abled to afk this for God, for his glory, and becaufe 
 I longed for the enlargement of his kingdom, to the 
 honour of his dear name. I could appeal to God 
 with the greateft freedom, that he knew it was his 
 dear caufe, and not my own, that engaged my heart : 
 And my foul cried, Lord, fet up thy kingdom, for 
 thine own glory. Glorify thyfelf; and I fhall rejoice. 
 Get honour to thy blefTed name ; and this is all I 
 cieiire. Do with me juft what thou wilt. BlefTed be 
 thy name forever, that thou art God, and that thou 
 wilt glorify thyfelf. O that the whole world might 
 glorify thee. O let thefe poor people be brought 
 to know thee, and love thee, for the glory of thy 
 dear ever blefTed name. I could not but hope that 
 God would bring in thefe miferable wicked Indians ; 
 though there appeared little human probability 
 of it, for they were then dancing and revelling, as if 
 pofleffed by the devil. But yet I hoped, though 
 againft hope, that God would be glorified, and that 
 God's name would be glorified by thefe poor Indi- 
 ans. 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 1.9- 
 
 ans. I continued long in prayer and praife to God ; 
 and had great freedom, enlargement and fweetnefs, 
 remembering dear friends in New-England, as well 
 as the people of my charge. Was entirely free from 
 that dejection of fpirit, with which I am frequently 
 exercifcd : BlefTed be God. 
 
 [His Diary, from this time through feveral days, is 
 not legible, by reafon of the badnefs of the ink.] 
 
 Wednefday, September 25. — Rode ftill homeward. 
 In the forenoon enjoyed freedom and intenfenefs of 
 mind in meditation on Job xlii. 5. 6. 1 have heard of 
 thee by the hearing of the ear ; but now mine eye fee th 
 thee : Wherefore 1 abhor my f elf and repent in duft and 
 ajhes. The Lord gave me clearnefs to penetrate in- 
 to the fvveet truths contained in that text. It was a 
 comfortable and fvveet feafon to me. 
 
 Friday, September 27. — Spent considerable time, 
 in the morning, in prayer and praife to God. My 
 mind was fomewhat intenfe in the duty, and my 
 heart in fome degree warmed with a fenie of divine 
 things. My foul was melted, to think, that God had 
 accounted me faithful, putting me into the minijtry, 
 notwithstanding all my barrennefs and deadneis. 
 My foul wasalfo in fome meafure enlarged in prayer 
 for the dear people of my charge, as well as for other 
 dear friends. In the afternoon vifited fome chrif- 
 tian friends, and fpent the time, I think, profitably : 
 My heart was w r armed, and more engaged in the 
 things of God. In the evening I enjoyed enlarge- 
 ment, warmth, and comfort in prayer : My ioul 
 relied on God for afiiftance and grace to enable me 
 to do fomething in his caufe : My heart was 
 drawn out in thankfuinefs to God for what he had 
 done for his own glory among my poor people oi 
 late : And I felt encouraged to proceed in his work, 
 being perfuaded of his power, and hoping his arm 
 might be further revealed, for the enlargement of his 
 
 N 3 dear 
 
198 The LIFE of 
 
 dear kingdom : And my foul rejoiced in hope of the 
 glory of God, in hope of the advancement of his de- 
 clarative glory in the world, as well as of enjoyinghim 
 in a world of glory. O, bleffed be God, the living 
 God, forever ! 
 
 [He continued in this comfortable fweet frame of 
 mind the two next days. On the day following he 
 went to his own houfe, in the Forks of Delaware, and 
 continued ftill in the fame frame. The next day, 
 which was Tuefday, he vifited his Indians. Wed- 
 nefday he fpent moftly in writing the meditations 
 he had had in his late journey to Sufquehannah. On 
 Thurfday he left the Forks of Delaware, and travelled 
 towards Crofweekfung, where he arrived on Saturday 
 (October 5) and continued from day to day in a com- 
 fortable ftate of mind. There is nothing material 
 in his Diary for this day and the next, but what is 
 in his Journal.] 
 
 Mo?tday y October 7. — Being called by the church 
 and people of Eaft- Hampton, on Long-Iiland, as a 
 member of a council, to aflift and advife in affairs 
 of difficulty in that church, I fet out on my journey 
 this morning, before it was well light, and travelled 
 to Elizabeth-Town, and there lodged. Enjoyed 
 fome comfort on the road, in converfation with Mr. 
 William Tennent, who was fent for on the fame 
 bufinefs. 
 
 [He profecuted his journey with the other minif- 
 ters that were fent for; and did not return until Oc- 
 tober 24. While he was at Eaft-Hampton, the im- 
 portance of the bufinefs that the council were come 
 upon, lay with fuch weight on his mind, and he was 
 fo concerned for the intereft of religion in that place, 
 that he flept but little for feveral nights fuccefTively. 
 In his way to and from Eaft-Hampton, he had fev- 
 eral ieafons of fweet refrefhment, wherein his foul 
 was enlarged and comforted with divine confolations, 
 
 in 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD 199 
 
 in fecret retirement ; and he had fpecial afliftance 
 in publick minifterial performances in the houfe of 
 God ; and yet, at the fame time, a fenfe of extreme 
 vilenefs and unprofitablenefs.] 
 
 Monday, Otlober 28. — Had an evening of fvveet 
 refreshing ; my thoughts were raifed . to a blefled 
 eternity ; my foul was melted with defires of per- 
 fect holinefs, and perfectly glorifying God. 
 
 Tuefday, OlHober 29. — About noon rode and view- 
 ed the Indian lands at Cranberry : Was much de- 
 jected, and greatly perplexed in mind : Knew not 
 how to fee any body again, my foul was fo funk 
 within me. O that thefe trials might make me 
 more humble and holy. O that God would keep 
 me from giving way to finful dejection, which may 
 hinder my ufefulnefs. 
 
 Wednefday, October 30. — My foul was refrefhed 
 with a view of the continuance of God's blefTed 
 work among the Indians. 
 
 Thurfday, October 31. — Spent moil of the day in 
 writing : Enjoyed not much fpiritual comfort ; but 
 was not fo much funk with melancholy as at fome 
 other times. 
 
 [November 1, 2, 3, and 4. — See the Journal.] 
 
 [Tuefday, November 5, he left the Indians, and 
 fpent the remaining part of this week in travelling 
 to various parts of New-Jerfey, in order to get a 
 collection for the ufe of the Indians, and to obtain a 
 fchoolmafter to inftruct them. And in the mean 
 time, he fpeaks of very fvveet refreshment and enter- 
 tainment with chriftian friends, and of his being 
 fweetly employed, while riding, in meditation o\\ 
 divine fubjects ; his heart's being enlarged, his 
 mind clear, his fpirit refrelhed with divine truths, 
 and his hearts burning within hi?n, while he went 
 by the way, and the Lord opened to him the /cap- 
 tures,] 
 
 N4 I 
 
 Lord 
 
 ■V 
 
200 The LIFE op 
 
 Lord's Day, November io.— [ At Elizabeth-Town.] 
 Was comfortable in the morning, both in body and 
 mind ; preached in the forenoon from 2 Cor. v. 20. 
 God was pleafed to give me freedom and fervency 
 in my difcourfe ; and the prefence of God feemed to 
 be in the alTembly : Numbers were affected, and 
 there were many tears among them. In the after- 
 noon, preached from Luke xiv. 22. And yet there is 
 room. Was favoured with divine ailiftance in the 
 firft prayer, and poured out my foul to God with a 
 filial temper of mind ; the living God alfo affifted 
 me in fermon. 
 
 [The next day, he went to New-Town, on Long- 
 Ifland, to a meeting of the Prefbytery. He f peaks 
 of fome fweet meditations he had while there, on 
 Chrijt's delivering up the kingdom to the Father, and 
 of his foul's being much refreshed and warmed with 
 the consideration of that blifsfulday.] 
 
 Friday, November 15. — Could not crofs the ferry 
 by reafon of the violence of the wind ; nor could I 
 enjoy any place of retirement at the ferry houfe : So 
 that I was in perplexity. Yet God gave me fome 
 iatisfaction and fweetnefs in meditation, and lifting 
 up my heart to God in the midfl of company. And 
 although fome were drinking and talking profanely, 
 which was indeed a grief to me, yet my mind was 
 calm and compofcd. And I could not but blefs 
 God, that I was not like t,o fpend an eternity in fuch 
 company. In the evening, I fat down and wrote 
 with compofure and freedom ; and can fay through 
 pure grace it was a comfortable evening to my foul, 
 an evening I was enabled to fpend in the fervice of 
 God. 
 
 Saturday, November 16. — CrofTed the ferry about 
 ten o'clock ; arrived at Elizabeth-Town near night. 
 Was in a calm compofed frame of mind, and felt an 
 entire reiignation with refpecl to a lofs I had late- 
 ly 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 201 
 
 ly fuftained, 111 having my horfe ftolen from me the 
 lad Wednefday night, at New-Town. Had fome 
 longings of foul for the dear people of Elizabeth- 
 Town, that God would pour out his fpirit upon 
 them, and revive his work amongft them. 
 
 [He fpent the four next days at Elizabeth-Town; 
 for the mofl part, in a free and comfortable ftate of 
 mind, intenfely engaged in the fervice of God, and 
 enjoying at fome times, the fpecial affiftances of his 
 Spirit. On Thurfday, this week, he rode to Free- 
 hold, and fpent the day under confiderable dejec- 
 tion.] 
 
 Friday, November 22. — Rode to Mr. Tennent's, 
 and from thence to Crofweekfung. Had little free- 
 dom in meditation, while riding; which was a grief 
 and burden to my foul. O that I could fill up all 
 my time, whether in the houfe or by the way, for 
 God ! I was enabled, I think, this day, to give up my 
 foul to God, and put over all my concerns into his 
 hands ; and found fome real confolation in the 
 thought of being entirely at the divine difpofal, and 
 having no will or intereft of my own. 
 
 [There is nothing very material in his Diary for 
 the five next days, but what is alfo in his Journal.] 
 
 'Thurfday, November 28. — I enjoyed fome divine 
 comfort, and fervency in the publick exercife, and 
 afterwards. And while riding to my lodgings, was 
 favoured with fome fweet meditations on Luke ix. 
 31. Who appeared in glory, and j pake of his deccafe, 
 which he jhould accompUfh at Jerufalem. My 
 thoughts ran with freedom, and I faw and felt what 
 a glorious fubject the death of Chrifl is for glorified 
 fouls to dwell upon in their converfation. 0> the 
 death of Chrifl: ! How infinitely precious. 
 [For the three next days, fee the Journal.] 
 Monday, December 2, — Was much affected with 
 grief, that 1 had net lived more to God ; and felt 
 
 flrong 
 
202 The LIFE of 
 
 ilrong refolutions to double my diligence in my Maf- 
 ter's fervice. 
 
 [After this, he went to a meeting of the Prefbyte- 
 ry, at a place in New-Jerfey, called Connecticut- 
 Farms ; which occafloned his abfence from his peo- 
 ple the reft of this week. He fpeaks of fome feafons 
 of fweetnefs, folemnity, and fpiritual affection, in his 
 abfence.] 
 
 [For the mofl of the following week he was em- 
 ployed in providing to live in a houfeby himfelf.] 
 
 Saturday, December 14. — Rofe early, and wrote by 
 candle light fome confiderable time ; fpent mofl of 
 the day in writing : But was fomewhat dejected. 
 In the evening, was exercifed with a pain in my 
 head. 
 
 [For the three next days, fee his Journal. The 
 remainder of this week he fpent chiefly in writing : 
 Some part of the time under a degree of melancho- 
 ly ; but fome part of it with a fweet ardency in re- 
 ligion.] 
 
 Monday, and Tuefday, December 23, and 24. — Spent 
 thefe days in writing, with the utmoft diligence. 
 Felt in the main a fweet mortification to the world, 
 and a defire to live and labour only for God ; but 
 wanted more warmth and fpirituality, a more fenfi- 
 ble and affectionate regard to the glory of God. 
 
 Tburfday, and Friday, December 26, and 27. — La- 
 boured in my ftudies, to the utmoft of my ftrength : 
 And though I felt a fteady difpofition of mind to 
 live to God, and that 1 had nothing in this world to 
 live for ; yet I did not find that fenfible affection in 
 the fervice of God that I wanted to have ; my heart 
 feemed barren, though my head and hands were full 
 of labour. 
 
 [For the four next days, fee his Journal.] 
 
 Wednefday, January 1, 1745,6. — lam this day be- 
 ginning a new year ; and God has carried me through 
 
 numerous 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 203 
 
 numerous trials and labours in the pad. He has 
 amazingly fupported my feeble frame ; for having 
 obtained help of God, I continue to this day. O that I 
 might live nearer to God, this year, than I did the 
 laft. The buflnefs I have been called to, and ena- 
 bled to go through, I know, has been as great as na- 
 ture could bear up under, and what would have funk 
 and overcome me quite, without fpecial fupport. 
 But alas, alas ! though I have done the labours, and 
 endured the trials, with what fpirit have I done the 
 one, and borne the other? How cold has been the 
 frame of my heart oftentimes ! And how little have 
 I feniibly eyed the glory of God, in all my doings 
 and lufferings ! I have found, that I could have no 
 peace without filling up all my time with labours ; 
 and thus neceflity has been laid upon me ; yea, in 
 that reipect, I have loved to labour : But the mifery 
 is, I could not feniibly labour for God, as I would 
 have done. May I for the future be enabled more 
 feniibly to make the glory of God myall. 
 
 [For the fpace from this time until the next Mon- 
 day, fee the Journal,] 
 
 Monday, "January 0. — Being very weak in body, I 
 rode for my health. While riding, my thoughts 
 were fweetly engaged, for a time, upon thejione cut 
 out of the mountain without hands, which brake in pieces 
 all before it, and waxed great, and became a great 
 mountain, and filled the whole earth : And I longed 
 that Jefus (hould take to himfelf his great power, and 
 reign to the ends of the earth. And O, how fweet 
 were the moments, wherein I felt my foul warm 
 with hopes of the enlargement of the Redeemer's 
 kingdom I I wanted nothing elfe but that Chrift 
 mould reign, to the glory of his blefled name. 
 
 [The next day he complains of want of fervency.] 
 
 Wednefday, January 8. — In the evening, my heart 
 was drawn out after God in fecret : My foul was re- 
 
 frefhed 
 
204 The LIFE of 
 
 frefhed and quickened ; and I truft, faith was in ex- 
 ercife. I had great hopesof the ingathering of pre- 
 cious fouls to Chrift ; not only among my own peo- 
 ple, but others alio. I was fweetly refigned and 
 compofed under my bodily weaknefs ; and was wil- 
 ling to live or die, and defirous to labour lor God to 
 the utmoft of my ftrength. 
 
 Friday, 'January WJ. — My foul was in a fweet, 
 calm, compofed frame, and my heart filled with love 
 to all the world ; and chriftian Simplicity and tender- 
 nefs feemed then to prevail and reign within me. 
 Near night, vifiteda feriousbaptift minifter, and had 
 ibme agreeable converfation with him ; arid found 
 that I could tafte God in friends. 
 
 [For the feven next days nothing very remarkable 
 appears but what is to be found in the Journal.] 
 
 [The next day, he fet out on a journey to Eliza- 
 beth-Town, to confer with the correfpondents at 
 their meeting there ; and enjoyed much fpiritual re- 
 frefhment from day to day, through this week. The 
 things exprefled in this fpace of time, are fuch as 
 thefe ; ferenity, compofure, fweetnefs, and tender- 
 nefs of foul, thankfgiving to God for his fuccefs 
 among the Indians, delight in prayer and praife, 
 fweet and profitable meditations on various divine 
 fubjects, longing for more love, for more vigour to 
 live to God, for a life more entirely devoted to God, 
 that he might fpend all his time profitably for God, 
 and in his caufe ; converting on fpiritual fubjects 
 with affection » and lamentation for unprofitablcnefs.] 
 
 Lord's Day, January 26. — [At Connecticut- 
 Farms.] Was calm and compofed. Was made ien- 
 iible of my utter inability to preach, without divine 
 help ; and was in fome good meafure willing to 
 leave it with God, to give or withhold afiiitance, as 
 he faw would be mofr. for his own glory. Was fa- 
 voured with a confiderable degree of afli fiance in my 
 
 publick 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 205 
 
 publick work. After publick worfliip, I was in a 
 fweet and f'olemn frame of mind, thankful to God 
 that he had made me in fome meafure faithful in ad- 
 dreffing precious fouls, but grieved that I had 
 been no more fervent in my work ; and was tender- 
 ly affected towards all the world, longing that every 
 (inner might be faved ; and could not have entertain- 
 ed any bittemefs towards the worft enemy living. 
 In the evening, rode to Elizabeth-Town : While 
 riding, was almoft constantly engaged in lifting up 
 my heart to God, left I mould lofe that fweet heav- 
 enly folemnity and compofure of foul I then enjoy- 
 ed. Afterwards, was pleafed, to think that God 
 reigneth ; and thought I could never be uneafy with 
 any of his difpenfations ; but muft be entirely fatis- 
 fied, whatever trials he fhould caufe me or his church 
 to encounter. Never felt more fedatenefs, divine 
 ferenity and compofure of mind : Could freely have 
 left the deareft earthly friend, for the fociety of an- 
 gels and f pi rits of juft men made perfect. My affec- 
 tions foared aloft to the blefled Author of every dear 
 enjoyment : I viewed the emptinefs and unfat- 
 isfaciory nature of the moil definable earthly objects, 
 any further than God is feen in them : And longed 
 for a life of fpirituality and inward purity ; without 
 which, I faw there could be no true pleafure. 
 
 [He retained a great degree of this excellent frame 
 of mind, the four next days.] 
 
 Saturday, February 1. — Towards night, enjoyed 
 fome of the cleared: thoughts on a divine lubjecl:, 
 viz. that treated of 1 Cor. xv. 13. — 16. that ever I 
 remember to have had upon any f "ubje£fc whatfoever ; 
 and fpent two or three hours in writing them. I 
 was refremed with this intenfenefs : My mind was 
 fo engaged in thcfe meditations, I could fcarcely turn 
 it to any thing elfe ; and indeed I could not be wil- 
 ling to part with fo fweet an entertainment. 
 
 Lord's 
 
2c6 The LI F E of 
 
 Lord's Day, February 2.— After publick worftiip, 
 my bodily ftrength being much fpent, my fpirits 
 funk amazingly ; and efpecially on hearing that I 
 was fo generally taken to be a Roman Catholick, 
 fent by the Papifts to draw the Indians into an in- 
 furrection againft the Englifh, that fome were in 
 fear of me, and others were for having me taken up 
 by authority and punimed. Alas, what will not the 
 devil do to bring a flur and difgrace on the work of 
 God ! O, how holy and circumfpect had I need 
 to be ! 
 
 Monday, February 3. — My fpirits were ftill much 
 funk with what I heard the day before, of my being 
 fufpedted to be engaged in the pretender's intereft : 
 It grieved me, that after there had been fo much ev- 
 idence of a glorious work of grace among thefe poor 
 Indians, as that the moft carnal men could not but 
 take notice of the great change made among thern, 
 fo many poor fouls mould ftill fufpect the whole to 
 be only a popifh plot, and fo caft an awful reproach 
 on this blefled work of the divine Spirit ; and at the 
 fame time wholly exclude themfelves from receiving 
 any benefit by this divine influence. This put me 
 upon fearching whether I had ever dropped any 
 thing inadvertently, that might give occafion to any 
 to fufpect that I was ftirring up the Indians againft 
 the Englifh : And could think of nothing, unlefs it 
 was my attempting fometimes to vindicate the rights 
 of the Indians, and complaining of the horrid prac- 
 tice of making the Indians drunk, and then cheat- 
 ing them out of their lands and other properties : 
 And once I remembered I had done this with too 
 much warmth of fpirit. And this much diftreffed 
 me ; thinking that this might poffibly prejudice 
 them againft this work of grace, to their everlafting 
 deftruction. God, I believe, did me good by this 
 trial j which ferved to humble me, and fhew me the 
 
 neceflity 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAIN ERD. 207 
 
 neceiTity of watchfulnefs, and of being wife as afer- 
 pent, as well as harmlefs as a dove. This exercifeled 
 me often to the throne of grace ; and there I found 
 fome fupport : Though I could not get the burden 
 wholly removed. Was aflifled in prayer, efpecial- 
 ly in the evening. 
 
 [He remained frill under a degree of exercife of 
 mind about this affair ; which continued to have 
 the fame effect: upon him, to caufe him to reflect up- 
 on, and humble himfelf, and frequent the throne of 
 grace : But foon found himfelf much more relieved 
 and fupported. He was, this week, in an extremely 
 weak flate, and obliged (as he expreffes it) to con- 
 fume confiderable time in diverfions for his health. 
 
 The Monday after, he fet out on a journey to 
 the Forks of Delaware, to vifit the Indians there. 
 The things appertaining to his inward frames and 
 exercifes, exprefled within this week, are fweet com- 
 pofure of mind, thank fulnefs to God for his mercies 
 to him and others, refignation to the divine will, 
 comfort in prayer and religious converfation, his 
 heart drawn out after God, and affected with a fenfe 
 of his own barrennefs, as well as the fulnefs and 
 freenefs of divine grace.] 
 
 Loni*s Day> February 16. — In the evening, was 
 in a fweet compofed frame of mind. It was exceed- 
 ing refrefhing and comfortable, to think that God 
 had been with me, affording me fome good meafure 
 of afliftance- I then found freedom and fweetnefs 
 in prayer and thankfgiving to God ; and found my 
 foul fvveetly engaged and enlarged in prayer for dear 
 friends and acquaintance. BlefTed be the name of 
 the Lord, that ever I am enabled to do any thing for 
 his dear intereft and kingdom. BlefTed be God, who 
 enables me to be faithful. Enjoyed more resolution 
 and courage for God, and more refrefhment of fpir- 
 it, than I have been favoured with for many weeks pad. 
 
 Monday, 
 
208 . TheLIFEof 
 
 Monday, February 17. — I was refreftied and en- 
 couraged : Found a fpirit of prayer, in the evening, 
 and earned longings for the illumination and conver- 
 sion of thefe poor Indians. 
 
 Thurfday, February 20. — God was pleafed to fup- 
 port and refrefh my fpirits, by affording me afiift- 
 ance, this day, and fo hopeful a profpedlof fuccefs ; 
 and I returned home rejoicing, and blefling the name 
 of the Lord ; and found freedom and fweetnefs af- 
 terwards in fecret prayer, and had my foul drawn 
 out for dear friends. O, how blefTed a thing is it, 
 to labour for God faithfully, and with encourage- 
 ment of fuccefs ! BlefTed be the Lord forever and ev- 
 er, for the afliftance and comfort granted this day. 
 
 Friday, February 21 . — My foul was refrefhed and 
 comforted, and I could not but blefs God, who had 
 enabled me in fome good meafure to be faithful in 
 the day pafl. O how fweet it is to be fpent and worn 
 out for God ! 
 
 Saturday, February 22. — My fpirits were much 
 fupported, though my bodily ftrength was much 
 wafted. O that God would be gracious to the fouls 
 of thefe poor Indians. 
 
 God has been very gracious to me this week : He 
 has enabled me to preach every day ; and has given 
 me fome afliftance, and encouraging profpects of 
 fuccefs, in almoft every fermon. BlefTed be his 
 name. Divers of the white people have been awak- 
 ened this week, and fundry of the Indians much 
 cured of the prejudices and jealoufies they had 
 conceived againft chriftianity, and fome feem to be 
 really awakened. 
 
 [The next day he left the Forks of Delaware, to 
 return to Crofweekfung ; and fpent the whole week 
 until Saturday, before he arrived there ; but preach- 
 ed by the way every day, excepting one ; and was 
 feveral times greatly affifted j and had much inward 
 
 comfort, 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 209 
 
 comfort, and earneft longings to fill up all his time 
 with the fervice of God. He utters fuch expreffions 
 as thefe, after preaching : O that I may be enabled 
 to plead the caufe of God faithfully, to my dying 
 moment. O how fweet it would be to fpend my- 
 felf wholly for God, and in his caufe, and to be freed 
 from fclfifh motives in my labours !] 
 
 [For Saturday and Lord's Day, March I, and 2, 
 fee the Journal. The four next days were fpent in 
 great bodily weaknefs ; but he fpeaks of fome fea- 
 ibns of confiderable inward comfort.] 
 
 Thurfhy, March 6.— I walked alone in the even- 
 ing, and enjoyed fweetnefs and comfort in prayer, 
 beyond .what I have of late enjoyed : My foul re- 
 joiced in my pilgrimage ftate, and I was delighted 
 with the thoughts of labouring and enduring hard- 
 nefs for God : Felt fome longing defires to preach 
 the gofpel to dear immortal fouls ; and Confided in 
 God, that he would be with me in my work, and 
 that he never would leave nor forfake me, to the end 
 of my race. O, may I obtain mercy of God to be 
 faithful, to my dying moment ! 
 
 [For the following Lord's Day, fee the Journal.] 
 
 Monday, March 10. — My foul was refrefhed with 
 freedom and enlargement, and I hope the lively exer- 
 cife of faith, in fecret prayer, this night : My will 
 was fweetly refigned to the divine will, and my 
 hopes refpecling the enlargement of the dear king- 
 dom of Chrift fomewhat raifed, and could commit 
 Zion's caufe to God as his own. 
 
 [In his Diary for feveral following days it appears 
 that he was ill in body, and dejedted in mind under 
 an apprehenfion that his ufefulnefs was about to ter- 
 minate.] 
 
 Monday, March 24.— After the Indians were gone 
 to their work, to clear their lands, I got alone, and 
 poured out my foul to God, that he would fmile 
 
 O upon 
 
a,io The LIFE of 
 
 upon thefe feeble beginnings, and that he would fet- 
 tle an Indian town, that might be a mountain of ho- 
 lincfs ; and found my foul much refrefhed in thefe 
 petitions, and much enlarged for Zion's intereft, and 
 for numbers of dear friends in particular. My 
 finking fpirits were revived and railed, and I felt an- 
 imated in the fervice God has called me to. This 
 was the deareft hour I have enjoyed for many days, 
 if not weeks. I found an encouraging hope, that 
 fomething would be done for God, and that God 
 would ufe and help me in his work. And O, 
 how fweet were the thoughts of labouring for God, 
 when I felt my fpirit and courage, and had any hope 
 that ever 1 mould be fucceeded ! 
 
 [The next day, his fchoolmafter was taken fick 
 with a pleurify ; and he fpent great part of the re- 
 mainder of this week in tending him : Which in 
 his weak Hate was almoft an overbearing burden to 
 him ; he being obliged conftantly to wait upon him 
 all day, from day to day, and to lie on the floor at 
 night. His fpirits funk in a confiderable degree, 
 with his bodily ftrength, under this burden.] 
 
 Monday , March 31. — Towards night, enjoyed 
 fome fweet meditations on thofe words, It is good for 
 me to draw near to God. My foul, I think, had fome 
 fweet fenfe of what is intended in thofe words. 
 . Wednefday, April 2. — Was fomewhat exercifed 
 with a fpiritlefs frame of mind. Was a little reliev- 
 ed and refrefhed in the evening, with meditation 
 alone in the woods. But alas, my days pafs away 
 as the chaff. It is but little I do, or can do, that 
 turns to my account ; and it is my conftant mifery 
 and burden, that I am fo fruitlefs in the vineyard of 
 the Lord. O that I were fpirit, that I might be act- 
 ive for God. This, I think, more than any thing 
 elle, makes me long, that this corruptible might put 
 on incorrupt ion, and this mortal put on immortality 4 
 
 God 
 
Mr. DAVID BR AI NERD, sit 
 
 God deliver me from clogs, fetters, and a body of 
 death, that impede my fervice for him. 
 
 [The next day, he complains bitterly of fome ex- 
 ercifes by corruption he found in his own heart.] 
 
 Friday, April 4. — Spent mod of the day in writ- 
 ing on Rev. xxii. .17. Andwhofoever will, &c. En- 
 joyed fome freedom and encouragement in my work i 
 and found fome comfort and compofure in prayer. 
 
 Saturday, April 5. — After publick worfhip, a 
 number of my dear chriftian Indians came to my 
 houfe ; with whom I felt a fweet union of foul : 
 My heart was knit to them ; and I cannot fay, I have 
 felt fuch a fweet and fervent love to the brethren, 
 for fome time paft : And I law in them appearances 
 of the fame love. This gave me fomething of a 
 view of the heavenly ilate ; and particularly that 
 part of the happinefs of heaven, which confiits in 
 the communion of faints ; and this was affecting 
 to me. 
 
 [The following week was fpent in a journey to 
 Elizabeth-Town and Staten-Ifland, at which laif. 
 place he preached on the Sabbath to an affembly of 
 Dutch and Englifli.] 
 
 Monday, April 14. — My fpirits this day were 
 raifed and reirefhed, and my mind compofed, io 
 that I was in a comfortable frame of foul, mod of 
 the day. In the evening, my head was clear, my 
 mind ferene ; I enjoyed fweetnefs in fecret prayer, 
 and meditation on Pfal. Ixxiii. 28. O, how free, 
 how comfortable, cheerful, and yet foiemn do I feel 
 when 1 am in a good rneafure freed from thofe 
 damps and melancholy glooms, that I often labour 
 under ! And bleffed be the Lord, I find myfelf re- 
 lieved in this refpect. 
 
 Tt/cfday, April 15. — My foul longed for more 
 fpirituality • and it was my burden, that I could do 
 no more for God. O, my barrennefs is my daily 
 
 O 2 affliction 
 
212 The LIFE of 
 
 affliction and heavy load ! O, how precious is time ; 
 and how it pains me, to fee it Hide away, while I 
 do fo very little to any good purpofe ! O that God 
 would make me more fruitful and fpiritual. 
 
 [The next day he fpeaks of his being almoft over- 
 whelmed with vapoury diforders ; but yet not fo as 
 wholly to deftroy the compofure of his mind.] 
 
 Tburfday, April 17. — Enjoyed fome comfort in 
 prayer, fome freedom in meditation, and compofure 
 in my ftudies. Spent fome time in writing, in the 
 forenoon. In the afternoon, fpent fome time in con- 
 version with feveral dear miniifers. In the even- 
 ing, preached from Pfal.'lxxiii. 28. But it is good 
 for me to draw near to God. God helped me to feel 
 the truth of my text, both in the firft prayer and in 
 fermon. I was enabled to pour out my foul to God, 
 with great freedom, fervency, and affection : And, 
 bleffed be the Lord, it was a comfortable feafon to 
 me. I was enabled to fpeak with tendernefs, and 
 yet with faithfulnefs : And divine truths feemed to 
 fall with weight and influence upon the hearers. My 
 heart was melted for the dear allembly, and I loved 
 every body in it ; and fcarce ever felt more love to 
 immortal fouls in my life ; my foul cried, O that 
 the dear creatures might be faved ! O that God would 
 have mercy on them \ 
 
 [He feems to have been in a very comfortable 
 frame of mind the two next days.] 
 
 Lord's Day, April 20*. — Enjoyed fome freedom, 
 and, I hope, exercife of faith in prayer, in the morn- 
 ing ; efpecially when I came to pray for Zion. I 
 was free from that gloomy difcouragement, that fo 
 often oppreffes my mind ; and my foul rejoiced in 
 the hopes of Zion's profperity, and the enlargement 
 of the dear kingdom of the great Redeemer. O that 
 his kingdom might come. 
 
 Tuefday, 
 
 * This day he entered into the 23th year of his age, 
 
Mr. DAVID B R A I N E R D. 213 
 
 Yuefday, April 22.' — My mind was remarkably 
 free, this day, from melancholy damps and glooms, 
 and animated in my work. I found fuch frefh vig- 
 our and refolution in the fervice of God, that the 
 mountains feemed to become a plain before me. O 
 bleffed be God for an interval of refrefhment, and 
 fervent refolution in my Lord's work ! In the even- 
 ing, my foul was refremed in fecret prayer, and my 
 heart drawn out for divine bleffings ; especially for 
 the church of God, and his intereft among my own 
 people, and for dear friends in remote places. O 
 that Zion might profper, and precious fouls be 
 brought home to God ! 
 
 [See, for about this time, the Journal.] 
 
 Saturday \ May 3. — Rode from Elizabeth-Town 
 home to my people, at or near Cranberry ; whither 
 they are now removed, and where, I hope, God will 
 fettle them as a chriftian congregation. Was refrefh- 
 ed in lifting up my heart to God, while riding ; 
 and enjoyed a thankful frame of fpirit, for divine fa- 
 vours received the week paft. Was fomewhat uneafy 
 and dejected, in the evening ; having no houfe of my 
 own to go into in this place; but God was my fupport. 
 
 Wednefday, May 7. — Spent moft of the day in 
 writing, as ufual. Enjoyed fome freedom in my 
 work. Was favoured with fome comfortable med- 
 itations, this day. In the evening, was in a fweet 
 compofed frame of mind : Was pleafed and delight- 
 ed to leave all with God, refpec~ting myfelf, for time 
 and eternity, and refpecling the people of my charge, 
 and dear friends. Had no doubt but that God would 
 take care of me, and of his own intereft among my 
 people : And was enabled to ufe freedom in prayer, 
 as a child with a tender father. O, how fweet is 
 fuch a frame ! 
 
 Thurfday, May 8. — In the evening, was fomewhat 
 refremed with divine things, and enjoyed a tender 
 
 O t, melting 
 
2i4 T h e LI F E of 
 
 rnelting frame in fecret prayer, wherein my foul was 
 drawn out for the interest of Zion, and comforted 
 with the lively hope of the appearing of the king- 
 dom of the great Redeemer. . Thefe were fweet mo- 
 ments : I felt almoft loth to go to bed, and grieved that 
 fleep was neceifary. However, I lay down with a 
 tender reverential fear of God, fenlible that his fa^ 
 n)our is Iife,a.nd his fmiles better than all that earth can 
 boaft of, infinitely better than life itfelf. 
 
 [Friday, May 9. — See the Journal.] 
 
 Saturday, May 10. — Rode to Allen's-Town, to 
 aflift in the administration of the Lord's fupper. In 
 the afternoon, preached from Tit. ii. 14. Who gave 
 himfelffor us, &c. God was pleafed to carry me 
 through with fome competency of freedom ; and 
 yet to deny me that enlargement and power I long- 
 ed for. In the evening, my foul mourned, and 
 could not but mourn, that I had treated fo excellent 
 a fubjedt in fo defective a manner; that I had borne 
 fo broken a teftimony for fo worthy and glorious a 
 Redeemer. And if my difcourfe had met with the 
 utmoft applaufe from all the world (as I accidentally 
 heard it applauded by fome perfons of judgment) it 
 would not have given me any fatisfadiion. O, it 
 grieved me, to think that I had had no more holy 
 warmth and fervency, that I had been no more melt- 
 ed in difcourfing of ChriiVs death, and the end and 
 clefign of it ! Afterwards, enjoyed fome freedom and 
 fervency in fecret and family prayer.and longed much 
 for the prefence of God to attend his word and ordi- 
 nances the next day. 
 
 Lord's Day, May 11. — Aflifted in the adminiftra- 
 tion of the Lord's fupper ; but enjoyed little en- 
 largement : Was grieved and funk with fome things 
 1 thought undeiirable, &c. In the afternoon, went 
 to the houfe of God weak and lick in foul, as well 
 as feeble in body : And longed, that the people 
 
 might 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 215 
 
 might be entertained and edified with divine truths, 
 and that an honefl fervent teftimony might be borne 
 for God ; but knew not how it was pofTible for me 
 to do any thing of that kind, to any good purpofe. 
 Yet God, who is rich in mercy, was pleafed to give 
 me ailiftance, both in prayer and preaching. God 
 helped me to wreftle for his prefence in prayer, and 
 to tell him, that he had promifed, Where two or three 
 are met together in his name, there he would be in the 
 midjl of them ; and that we were, at leaft fome of us, 
 fo met ; and pleaded, that for his truth's fake he 
 would be with us. AndblefTed be God, it was fweet 
 to my foul, thus to plead, and rely on God's prom- 
 ifes. Difcourfed upon Luke ix. 30. 31 . And behold \ 
 there talked with him two men, which were Mofes and 
 Elias ; who appeared in glory, and/pake of his deceafe, 
 which hefhoi/ld acccmplijh at Jerz/Jalem. Enjoyed 
 fpecial freedom, from the beginning to the end of 
 my difcourfe, without interruption. Things perti- 
 nent to the fubjecl: were abundantly prefented to my 
 view, and fuch a fulnefs of matter, that I fcarce 
 knew how to difmifs the various heads and particu- 
 lars I had occafion to touch upon. And, blefled be 
 the Lord, I was favoured with fome fervency and 
 power, as well as freedom ; fo that the word of 
 God feemed to awaken the attention of a ft upid au- 
 dience, to a confiderable degree. I was inwardly re- 
 freihed with the confolations of God ; and could 
 with my whole heart fay, Though there be no fruit 
 in the vine, &c. yet will I rejoice in the Lord. After 
 publick fervice, was refrelhed with the fweet con- 
 verfation of fome chriftian friends. 
 
 [The four next days feem to have been moflly 
 fpent with fpintual comfort and profit.] 
 
 Friday, May 16. — Near night, enjoyed fome agree- 
 able and lweet converfation with a dear minifter, 
 which, I trufr, was blefled to my foul : My heart 
 
 O 4 was 
 
2i6 The LIFE of 
 
 was warmed, and my foul engaged to live to God ; 
 fo that I longed to exert myfelf with more vigour, 
 than ever I had done, in his caufe : And thofe words 
 were quickening to me, Herein is my Father gloriji- 
 ed y that ye bring forth much fruit. O, my foul long- 
 ed, and wifhed, and prayed, to be enabled to live to 
 God with utmoft conflancy and ardour ! In the even- 
 ing, God was pleafed to mine upon me in feeret 
 prayer, and draw out my foul after himfelf ; and I 
 had freedom in fupplication for myfelf, but much 
 more in interceffion for others : So that I was fweet- 
 ly conftrained to fay, Lord, ufe me as thou wilt ; do 
 as thou wilt with me : But O, promote thine own 
 caufe. Zion is thine ; O vifit thine heritage ; O let 
 thy kingdom come ; O let thy blefTed intereft be 
 advanced in the world ! When I attempted to look 
 to God refpecting my worldly circumrtances, and 
 his providential dealings with me, in regard of my 
 fettling down in my congregation, which feems to 
 be neceffary, and yet very difficult, and contrary to 
 my fixed intention for years paft, as well as my 
 difpofition, which has been, and flill is, at times ef- 
 pecially, to go forth, and fpend my life in preach- 
 ing the gofpel from place to place, and gathering 
 fouls afar off to Jefus the great Redeemer ; when I 
 attempted to look to God with regard to thefe things, 
 and his defigns concerning me, I could only fay, 
 The will of the Lord be done : It is no matter for me. 
 The fame frame of mind I felt with refpect to an- 
 other important affair I have lately had fome ferious 
 thoughts of : I could fay, with utmoft calmnefs 
 and compofure, Lord, if it be moff. for thy glory, 
 let me proceed in it ; but if thou feeft that it will in 
 any wife hinder my ufefulnefs in thy caufe, O pre- 
 vent my proceeding : For all I want, refpecting this 
 world, is fuch circumftances as may bell capacitate 
 me to do fervicc for God in the world. Bur bleffed 
 
 be 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD 217 
 
 be God, I enjoyed liberty in prayer for my dear 
 flock, and was enabled to pour out my. foul into the, 
 bofom of a tender father. My heart within me was 
 melted, when I came to plead for my dear people, 
 and for the kingdom of Ghrift in general. O, how 
 fwect was this evening to my foul ! I knew not how 
 to go to bed ; and when got to bed, longed forfome 
 way to improve time for God, to fome excellent 
 purpofe. Blefs the Lord, O my foul. 
 
 Saturday, May 17.— Walked out in the morning, 
 and felt much of the fame frame I enjoyed the even- 
 ing before : Had my heart enlarged in praying for 
 the advancement of the kingdom of Chrift, and 
 found utmoft freedom in leaving all my concerns, 
 with God. , 
 
 I find difcouragements to be an exceeding bin-, 
 drance to my fpiritual fervency and affection : But 
 when God enables me fenfibly to find that I have 
 done fomething for him, this refrefhes and animates 
 me, fo that I could break through all hardships, un- 
 dergo any labours, and nothing feems too much 
 either to do or to fuffer. But O, what a death it is, to 
 ft rive and flrive ; to be always in a hurry, and yet 
 do nothing, or at leaft nothing for God ! Alas, alas, 
 that time flies away, and I do fo little for God ! 
 
 Lord's Day, May 18. — I felt my own utter infuffi- 
 ciency for my work : God made me to fee that I was a 
 child ; yea, that I was a fool. I difcourfed both parts of 
 the day, from Rev. iii. 20. Behold, Ijiandat the door and 
 knock. God gave me freedom and power in the lat- 
 ter part of my forenoon's difcourfe ; although, in 
 the former part of it, I felt peevifTi and provoked 
 with the unmannerly behaviour of the white people, 
 who crowded in between my people and me; which 
 proved a great temptation to me. But blefTcd be 
 God, I got thele fhackles off before the middle of 
 my difcourfe, and was favoured with a (wsct frame 
 
 of 
 
ai8 Th e LIFE o * 
 
 of fpirit in the latter part of the exercife ; was full 
 of love, warmth, and tendernefs, in addreffing my 
 dear people. In the intermiilion feafon, could not 
 but difcourfe to my people on the kindnefs and pa- 
 tience of Chrift, mflanding and knocking at the door y 
 &c. In the evening I was grieved that I had done 
 fo little for God. O that I could be aflame of fire in 
 the fervice of my God. 
 
 Thurfday, May 22. — In the evening was in a frame 
 fomewhat remarkable : Had apprehended for fever- 
 al days before, that it was the deiign of Providence I 
 fhould fettle among my people here ; and had in my 
 own mind begun to make provifion for it ; and to con- 
 trive means to haften it; and found my heart fomething 
 engaged in it, hopingl might then enjoy more agreeable 
 circumftances of life, in feveral refpe&s : And yet was 
 never fully determined, never quite pleafed with the 
 thoughts of being fettled and confined to one place. 
 Neverthelefs, I feemed to have fome freedom in that 
 refpect, becaufe the congregation I thought of fettling 
 with, was one that God had enabled me to gather from 
 amongft Pagans. For I never, fince I began to 
 preach, could feel any freedom to enter into other 
 men's labours, and fettle down in the miniftry where 
 the gofpel was preached before ; I never could make 
 that appear to be my province. When I felt any 
 difpofition toconfult my eafe and worldly comfort, 
 God has never given me any liberty in that refpect, 
 either fince, or for years before I began to preach. 
 But God having fucceeded my labours, and made me 
 instrumental of gathering a church for him among 
 thefe Indians, I was ready to think it might be his 
 defign to give me a quiet fettlement and a ftated 
 home of my own. And this, confidering the late 
 frequent finking and failure of my fpirits, and the 
 need I flood in of fome agreeable fociety, and my 
 great defire of enjoying conveniences and opportu- 
 nities 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 219 
 
 nities for profitable ftudies, was not altogether difa- 
 greeable to me : Although I itill wanted to go about, 
 far and wide, in order to fpread the bleiTed gofpel 
 among benighted fouls, far remote ; yet 1 never had 
 been fo willing to fettle in any one place, for more 
 than five years paft, as I was in the foregoing part 
 of this week. But now thefe thoughts feemed to be 
 wholly darned to pieces ; not by neceffity, but of 
 choice : For itappeareJ to me, that God's dealings 
 towards me had fitted me for a life of folitarinefs and 
 hardfhip : It appeared to me, 1 had nothing to lofe, 
 nothing to do with earth, and confequently nothing 
 to lofe by a total renunciation of it : And it appear- 
 ed juff. right that I fhould be deftitute of houfe and 
 home, and many comforts of life, which I rejoiced 
 to fee others of God's people enjoy. And at the 
 fame time, I faw fo much of the excellency of 
 ChrifVs kingdom, and the infinite defirablenefs of 
 its advancement in the world, that it fwallowed up 
 all my other thoughts ; and made me willing, yea, 
 even rejoice, to be made a pilgrim or hermit in the 
 wildernefs, to my dying moment, if I might there- 
 by promote thebleffed intereft of the great Redeem- 
 er. And if ever my foul prefented itfelf to God for 
 his fervice, without any referve of any kind, it did 
 fo now. The language of my thoughts and difpo- 
 iition (although I fpake no words) now were, Here 
 I am, Lord, fend me ; fend me to the ends of the earth ; 
 fend me to the rough, the favage Pagans of the wil- 
 dernefs ; fend me from all that is called comfort in 
 earth, or earthly comfort ; fend me even to death it- 
 felf, if it be but in thy fervice, and to promote thy 
 kingdom. And at the fame time I had as quick and 
 t lively a fenfe of the value of worldly comforts, as ever. 
 1 had ; but only faw them infinitely overmatched by 
 the worth of ChrifVs kingdom, and the propaga- 
 tion of his bleiTed gofpel. The quiet fettlement, 
 
 the 
 
220 The LIFE of 
 
 the certain place of abode, the tender friendfhip, 
 which I thought I might be likely to enjoy in con- 
 fequence of f'uch circumitances, appeared as valua- 
 ble to me, confidered abfolutely and in themfelves, as 
 ever before ; but conlidered comparatively, they ap- 
 peared nothing : Compared with the value and pre- 
 cioufnefs of an enlargement of ChriiVs kingdom, they 
 vanifhed like the ftars before the rifing fun. And fure 
 I am, that although the comfortable accommodations 
 of life appeared valuable and dear tome, yet I did fur- 
 render and refignmyfelf, foul and body, to the fervice 
 of God, and promotion of ChriiVs kingdom ; though 
 it mould be in the lofs of them all. And I could 
 not do any other, becaufe 1 could not will or choofe 
 any other. I was conflrained, and yet chofe to fay, 
 Farewell friends and earthly comforts, the deareft 
 of them all, the very deareft, if the Lord calls for it : 
 Adieu, adieu ; I will fpend my life, to my later! mo- 
 ments, in caves and dens of the earth, if the king- 
 dom of Chrift may thereby be advanced. I found 
 extraordinary freedom at this time in pouring out 
 my foul to God, for his caufe ; and efpecially that 
 his kingdom might be extended among the Indians, 
 far remote ; and I had a great and itrong hope that 
 God would do it. I continued wreftling with God 
 in prayer for my dear little flock here ; and more 
 efpecially for the Indians elfewhere ; as well as for 
 dear friends in one place and another ; until it was 
 bed time, and I feared I fliould hinder the family, 
 &c. But O, with what reluctancy did I find my- 
 felf obliged to confume time in fleep ! I longed 
 to be as aflame of fire ^ continually glowing in the 
 divine fervice, preaching and building up ChriiVs 
 kingdom, to mylatefr, my dying moment. 
 
 Friday \ May 23. — In the morning was in the fame 
 frame of mind, as in the evening before. The glory 
 of ChriiVs kingdom io much out (hone the pleaf- 
 
 ure 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 221 
 
 ure of earthly accommodations and enjoyments, that 
 they appeared comparatively nothing, though in 
 themfelves good and defirable. My. foul was melt- 
 ed in fecret meditation and prayer, and I found my- 
 felf divorced from any part in this world ; fo that: 
 in thofe affairs that feemed of the greateft importance 
 to me, in refpecl: of the prefent life, and thofe where- 
 in the tender powers of the mind are moll fenffbly 
 touched, I could only lay, "The will of the Lord be 
 done. But juft the fame things that I felt the even- 
 ing before, I felt now ; and. found the lame freedom 
 in prayer for the people of my charge, for the prop- 
 agation of the gofpel among the Indians, and for the 
 enlargement and fpiritual welfare of Zionin general, 
 and my dear. friends in particular, now, as I did then ; 
 and longed to burn out in one continued flame for 
 God. Retained much of the fame frame through 
 the day. In the evening was viiited by my brother 
 John Brainerd : The firfr. vilit 1 have ever received 
 from any near relative, fince I have been a MifTion- 
 ary. Felt the fame frame of fpirit in the evening, 
 as in the morning ; and found that it was good for 
 me to draw near to God, and leave all my concerns 
 and burdens with him. Was enlarged and refrefh- 
 ed in pouring out my foul for the propagation of the 
 gofpel of the Redeemer among the diftant tribes of 
 Indians. BleiTed be God. If ever I filled up a day 
 with ftudies and devotion, 1 was enabled fo to fill up 
 this day. 
 
 Saturday, May 24. — Enjoyed, this day, fomething 
 of the lame frame of mind as I felt the day before. 
 
 Monday, June 2. — In the evening, enjoyed lb mc 
 freedom in lecret prayer and meditation. 
 
 Taefday, June 3. — My foul rejoiced early in the 
 morning, to think that all tilings were at God's 
 difpofal. O it pleafed. me to leave them there. 
 Felt afterwards much as I did on Thurfday evening, 
 
 May 
 
222 The LIFE of 
 
 May 22 laft ; and continued in this frame for fever- 
 al hours. Walked out into the wildernefs, and en- 
 joyed freedom, fervency, and comfort in prayer : 
 And again enjoyed the fame in the evening. 
 
 Wednefday, 'June 4. — Spent the day in writing, and 
 enjoyed fome comfort, fatisfaction and freedom in 
 my work. In the evening I was favoured with a 
 fweet refrefhing frame of foul in fecret prayer and 
 meditation. Prayer was now wholly turned into 
 praife; and I could do little elfe but try to adore 
 and blefs the living God : The wonders of his grace 
 difplayed in gathering to himfelf a church among 
 the poor Indians here, were the fubject matter of my 
 meditation, and the occafion of exciting my foul to 
 praife and blefs his name. My foul was fcarce ever 
 more difpofed to inquire, What I Jhould reader to 
 God for all his benefits, than at this time. O, I was 
 brought into a (trait, a fweet and happy {trait, to 
 know what to do ! I longed to make fome returns to 
 God ; but found I had nothing to return : I could 
 only rejoice that God had done the work himfelf; 
 and that none in heaven or earth might pretend to 
 fhare the honour of it with him : I could only be 
 glad that God's declarative glory was advanced by the 
 converfion of thefe fouls, and that it was to the en- 
 largement of his kingdom in the world : But law I 
 was fo poor that I had nothing to offer to him. My 
 foul and body, through grace, I could cheerfully furren- 
 der to him : But it appeared to me this was rather a 
 cumber than a gift : And nothing could I do to glo- 
 rify his dear and blefled name. Yet I was glad at 
 heart, that he was unchangeably poffefTed of glory 
 and blcffednefs. O that he might be adored and 
 praifed by all his intelligent creatures, to the utmolt 
 of their powers and capacities. My foul would 
 have rejoiced to fee others praife him, though I 
 could do nothing towards it myielf, 
 
 [The 
 
Mr. DAVID BRA I NERD. 223 
 
 [The next day he fpeaks of his being fubje£t to 
 fome degree of melancholy j but of being fomething 
 relieved in the evening.] 
 
 [Friday, June 6. — See the Journal.] 
 
 Saturday, June']. — Rode to Freehold, to ailiit Mr. 
 Tennent in the administration of the Lord's fupper. 
 In the afternnon preached from Pfal. lxxiii. 28. 
 God gave me fome freedom and warmth in my dif- 
 courfc ; and, I truft, his prefence was in the affembly. 
 Was comfortably compofed, and enjoyed a thank- 
 ful frame of fpirit ; and my foul was grieved, that I 
 could not render fomething to God for his benefits be- 
 itowed. O that I could be fvvallowed up in his praife ! 
 
 Lord's Day, June 8. — Spent much time in the 
 morning in fecret duties ; but between hope and 
 fear, refpecting the enjoyment of God in the bufinefs 
 of the day then before us. Was agreeably entertain- 
 ed, in the forenoon, by a difcourfe from Mr. Ten- 
 nent, and felt fomewhat melted and refrefhed. In 
 the feafon of communion enjoyed fome comfort ; 
 and efpecially in ferving one of the tables. BlefTed 
 be the Lord it was a time of refreihing to me, and, I 
 truft, to many others. A number of my dear peo- 
 ple fat down by themfelves at the laft table ; at 
 which time God feemed to be in the midfr. of them. 
 And the thoughts of what God had done among 
 them were refreshing and melting to me. In the 
 afternoon God enabled me to preach with uncom- 
 mon freedom, from 2 Cor. v. 20. Through the 
 goodnefs of God I was favoured with a conftant flow 
 of pertinent matter, and proper expreffions, from the 
 beginning to the end of my difcourfe. In the evening 
 I could not but rejoice in God, and blefs him for the 
 manifefhtions of his grace in the day paft. O, it 
 was a fweet and folemn day and evening ! A feafon 
 of comfort to the godly, and of awakening to fome 
 fouls. O that I could praife the Lord. 
 
 Monday, 
 
224 Thl LIFE op 
 
 Monday, 'June 9. — Enjoyed fome fweetnefs in fe- 
 cret duties. Preached the concluding fermon from 
 Gen. v. 24. And Enoch walked with God, &c. God 
 gave me enlargement and fervency in my difcourfe ; 
 fo that I was enabled to fpeak with plainnefs and 
 power; and God's prefence feemed to be in the af- 
 iembly. Praifedbe the Lord it was a fweet meeting, 
 a defirable afTembly. I found my ilrength renew- 
 ed, and lengthened out even to a wonder ; fo that 
 1 felt much ftrongcr at the conclusion, than in the 
 beginning of this facramental folemnity. I have great 
 reafon to blefs God' for this folemnity, wherein I 
 have found affiftance in addreiling others, and fweet- 
 nefs in my own foul. 
 
 [On Tuefday, he found himfelf fpent, and his 
 fpirits exhauffed by his late labours ; and on Wed- 
 nefday complains of vapoury diforders, and deject, ion 
 of fpirit, and of enjoying but little comfort or fpirit- 
 uality.] 
 
 Thurfday y June 12. — In the evening enjoyed free- 
 dom of mind, and fome fweetnefs in fecret prayer: 
 It was a defirable feafon to me ; my ioul was en- 
 larged in prayer for my own dear people, and for 
 theenlargement of ChrifVs kingdom, and efpecially 
 for the propagation of the gofpel among the Indians, 
 back in the wildernefs. Was refreihed in prayer 
 for dear friends in New-England, and el fe where : 
 I found it fweet to pray at this time ; and could 
 with all my heart fay, 1/ is good for me to draw near 
 to God. 
 
 Friday, June 13. — I came away from the meeting 
 ingof the Indians, this day, rejoicing and bleiiing 
 God for his grace manifested at this feafon. 
 
 Saturday, June 14. — Rode to Kingfton, to afTifl 
 the Rev. Mr. Wales in the adminiftration of the 
 Lord's fupper. In the afternoon preached ; but 
 almoft fainted in the pulpit : . Yet God llrengthened 
 
 me 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 225 
 
 me when I was juft gone, and enabled me to fpeak 
 his word with freedom, fervency, and application to 
 the confcience. And praifed be the Lord, out of 
 iveaknefs I was madejlrong. I enjoyed fome fweetnefs, 
 in and after publick worfhip ; but was extremely 
 tired. G, how many are the mercies of the Lord ! 
 To them that have no might \ he increafeth ftrengtfa. 
 
 Lord's Day, "June 15.— Was in a dejected fpirit- 
 lefs frame, that I could not hold up my head, nor 
 look any body in the face. Adminiftered the Lord's 
 fupper at Mr-. Wales's deflre : And found myfelf in 
 a good meafure unburdened and relieved of my prefix- 
 ing load, when I came to a(k a bleffing on the ele- 
 ments : Here God gave me enlargement, and a ten- 
 der affectionate fenfe of fpiritual things ; fo that it 
 was a feafon of comfort, in fome meafure, to me, 
 and, I truft, more fo to others. In the afternoon, 
 preached to a vaft multitude, from Rev. xxii. 17. 
 And whofoever will, &c. God helped me to offer a 
 teilimony for himfelf, and to leave finners inexcufa- 
 ble in neglecting his grace. I was enabled to fpeak 
 with fuch freedom, fluency and clearnefs, as com- 
 manded the attention of the great. Was extremely tired 
 in the evening, but enjoyed compofure and fweetnefs. 
 
 Monday, "June 16. — Preached again, and God help- 
 ed me amazingly, fo that this was a Tweet refrefh- 
 ing feafon to my foul and others. O, forever bleff- 
 ed be God for help afforded at this tirne, when my 
 body was fo weak, and while there was fo large an 
 affembly to hear. Spent the afternoon in a comfort- 
 able agreeable manner. 
 
 [The next day was fpent comfortably. 
 
 On Wednefday he went to a meeting of rninifters 
 at Hopewell.] 
 
 [Thurfday, "June 19. — See Ins Journal.] 
 
 [On Friday and Saturday he was Very much amifs * 
 but yet preached to- his people on Saturday. His 
 
 F illnefs 
 
2z6 The LIFE o i 
 
 illnefs continued on the Sabbath ; but he preached * 
 notwithftanding, to his people, both parts of the day: 
 And after the publick worfhip was ended, he en- 
 deavoured to apply divine truths to the confciences 
 of fome, and addrelTed them perfonally for that end: 
 Several were in tears, and fome appeared much af- 
 fected. But he was extremely wearied with the 
 fervices of the day, and was fo ill at night, that he 
 could have no bodily reft ; but remarks that God was 
 his fupport, and that he was not left destitute of 
 comfort in him. On Monday he continued very 
 ill, but fpeaks of his mind's being calm and compof- 
 edj refigned to the divine difpenfations, and content 
 with his feeble ftate. And by the account he gives 
 of himfelf, the remaining part of this week, he con- 
 tinued very feeble, and for the molt part dejected 
 in mind, and enjoyed no great freedom nor fweet- 
 nefs in fpiritual things ; excepting that for fome 
 very fhort fpaces of time he had refreshment and 
 encouragement, which engaged his heart on divine 
 things ; and fometimes his heart was melted with 
 fpiritual affection.] 
 
 Lord's Day, June 39.— Preached both parts of the 
 day, from John xiv. 19. Yet a little while \ and the 
 world jeeth me no more, &c. God was pleafed to aflift 
 me, to afford me both freedom and power ; efpe- 
 cially towards the clofe of my difcourfes, both fore- 
 noon and afternoon. God's power appeared in the 
 nffembly, in both exercifes. Numbers of God's 
 people were refreshed and melted with divine things - p 
 one or two comforted who had been long under dif- 
 trefs : Convi£tions, in divers inftances, powerful- 
 ly revived ; and one man in years much awakened, 
 who had not long frequented our meeting, and ap- 
 peared before as ftupid as a itock. God amazingly re- 
 newed and lengthened out my ftrength. I was fofpent 
 ;it noon, that I could fcarce walk, and all my joints 
 
 trembled j 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. iif 
 
 trembled ; fo that I could not fit nor fo much as hold 
 my hand flill : And yet God flrengthened me to 
 preach with power in the afternoon ; although I had 
 given out Word to my people, that 1 did not expedt 
 to be able to do it. Spent fome time afterwards in 
 converting, particularly, with feveral perfons, about 
 their fpiritual (late ; and had fome fatisfaction con- 
 cerning one or two. Prayed afterwards with a fick 
 child, and gave a Word of exhortation. Was afFi fl- 
 ed in all my work. BlefTed be God. Returned 
 home with more health than I went out with ; al- 
 though my linen was wringing wet upon me, from 
 a little after ten in the morning, until paft five in 
 the afternoon. My fpirits alfo were confiderably 
 refreihed ; and my foul rejoiced in hope, that I had 
 through grace done fomcthing for God. In the even- 
 ing, walked out, and enjoyed a fvveet feafon in fe- 
 cret prayer and praife. But O, I found the truth of 
 the Pfal miff's words, My goodnefs extendeth not 
 to thee ! I could not make any returns to God : I 
 longed to live only to him, and to be in tune for his 
 praife and fervice forever. O, for fpirituality and 
 holy fervency, that I might fpend and be /pent for 
 God, to my latefl moment ! 
 
 Monday, 'June 30. — Spent the day in writing; but 
 under much weaknefs and diforder. Felt the la- 
 bours of the preceding day ; although my fpirits 
 were fo refrefhed the evening before, that I was not 
 then fenfible of my being fpent. 
 
 Tuefday, 'Ju/y 1.— In the afternoon' vifiied and 
 preached to my people, from Heb. iX. 27. on ocea- 
 [ fion of fome peribns' lying at the point of death, in 
 my congregation. God gave me fome affiftance ; 
 and his word made fome irnprefiions on the audi- 
 ence, in general. This was an agreeable and com- 
 fortable everting to my foul : My fpirits were fome- 
 what refrefhed with a fmall degree of freedom and 
 help enjoyed in my work, 
 
 V' [0,1 
 
228 • The LIFE of 
 
 [On Wednefday he went to Newark, to a meeting 
 of the Prefbytery :. Complains of lownefs of fpirits i 
 and greatly laments his fpending his time fo unfruit- 
 ftijtfy. The remaining part of the week he fpent 
 there, and at Elizabeth-Town ; and fpeaks of com- 
 fort and divine affiftance from day to day : But yet 
 greatly complains for want of more fpirituality.] 
 
 hordes Day, "July 6. — [At Elizabeth -Town.] En- 
 joyed fo'mc compofure and ferenity of mind, in the 
 morning : Heard Mr. Dickinfon preach in the fore- 
 noon, and was refreshed with his difcourfe ; was in a 
 melting frame, fome part of the time of fermon : 
 Partook of the Lord's fupper, and enjoyed fome 
 fenfe of divine things in that ordinance. In the af- 
 ternoon I preached from Ezek. xxxiii. u. As I live, 
 faith the Lord God, &c. God favoured me with free- 
 dom and fervency ; and helped me to plead his 
 caufe, beyond my own power. "*• 
 
 Monday, July 7. — My fpirits were considerably 
 refrefhed and raifed, in the morning. There is no 
 comfort, I find, in any enjoyment, without enjoying 
 God, and being engaged in his fervice. In the even- 
 ing had the moft agreeable converfation that ever I 
 remember in all my life, upon God's being all in all, 
 and all enjoyments being jufl that to us which God 
 makes them, and no more. It is good to begin and 
 end with God. O, how does a fweet folemnity lay 
 a foundation for true pleafure and happinefs ! 
 
 Tuefday, July 8. — Rode home, and enjoyed fome 
 agreeable meditations by the way. 
 
 Wednefday, July 9. — Spent the day in writing. En- 
 joyed fome comfort and refreihment of fpirit in my 
 evening retirement. 
 
 Thurfday, July 10. — Spent moft of the day in 
 writing. Towards night rode to Mr. Tennent's j 
 enjoyed fome agreeable converfation : Went home 
 in the evening, in a folemn fweet frame of mind -, 
 
 was 
 
Mr. DAVID BR A I NERD. 229 
 
 was refremed in fecret duties, longed to live wholly 
 and only for God, and law plainly there was nothing 
 in the world worthy of my affection ; fo that my 
 heart was dead to all below ; yet not through dejec- 
 tion as at fome times, but from views of a better 
 inheritance. 
 
 Friday, July IX. — Was in a calm compofed frame 
 in the morning, efpecially in the feafon of my fecret 
 retirement : I think I was well pleafed with the will 
 of God, whatever it was, or fhould be, in all refpects 
 I had then any thought of. Intending to adminifter 
 the Lord's fupper the next Lord's Day, I looked to 
 God for his prefence and afliftance upon that occa- 
 sion ; but felt a difpofition to fay, The "will of the 
 Lord be done, whether it be to give me affiftance or 
 not. Spent fome little time in writing : Vifited the 
 Indians, and fpent fome time in ferious converfation 
 with them ; thinking it not bed: to preach, by rea- 
 fon that many of them were abfent. 
 
 Saturday, July 12. — This day was fpent in fading 
 and prayer by my congregation, as preparatory to 
 the facrament. I difcourfed, both parts of the day, 
 from Rom. iv. 2,5. Who was delivered for our offences, 
 Sec. God gave me fome afliftance in my difcourfes, 
 and fomething of divine power attended the word ; 
 fo that this was an agreeable feafon. Afterwards 
 led them to a foiemn renewal of their covenant, and 
 frefli dedication of themfelves to God. This was a 
 feafon both of folemnity and fweetnei^, and God 
 feemed to be in the midjl of us. Returned to my 
 lodgings, in the evening, in a comfortable frame ol 
 mind. 
 
 Lord's Day-, July 13. — In the forenoon difcourfed 
 on the bread cf life, from John vi. 35. God gave me 
 fome afiiitance, in part of my difcourfc efpecially % 
 and there appeared fome tender affection in the af- 
 fembly under divine truths ; my foul alio was fome- 
 
 P 3 what 
 
230 The LIFE of 
 
 what refrefhed. Adminiftered the facrament of tho 
 Lord's fupper to thirty one perfons of the Indians, 
 God feemed to be prefem in this ordinance ; the 
 communicants were fvveetly melted and refrefhed, 
 moft of them. O, how they melted, even when the 
 elements were firft uncovered ! There was fcarcely a 
 dry eye amongft them, when I took off the linen, 
 and fhewed them the fymbols of Cbrift's broken body. 
 Having refted a little, after the adminiftration of the 
 facrament, I vifited the communicants, and found 
 them generally in a fvveet loving frame ; not unlike 
 what appeared among them on the former facra- 
 mental occafion, on April 27. In the afternoon 
 difcourfed upon corning to Cbrijl, and the fanctifica- 
 tion of thofe who do fo, from the fame verfe 1 in* 
 fifted on in the forenoon. This was like wife an 
 agreeable feafon, a feafonofmuch tendernefs, af- 
 fection and enlargement in divine fervice : An4 
 God, I am perfuaded, crowned our affembly with 
 his divine prefence. I returned home much fpent, 
 yet rejoicing in the goodnefs of God. 
 
 Monday, 'July 14. — Went to my people and dif- 
 courfed to them from Pfal. cxix. 106. I have /worn 
 and I will perform it 1 &c. Obferved, 1 . That all God's 
 judgments or commandments are righteous. 2. That 
 God's people have fworn to keep them ; and this 
 they doefpecially at the Lord's table. There appeared 
 to be a powerful divine influence on the affembly, and 
 coniiderable melting under the word. Afterwards, 
 I led them to a renewal of their covenant before God 
 (that they would watch over themfelves and one 
 another, left they mould fall into fin, and dishonour 
 the name of Chrift) juft as I did on Monday, April 
 28. This transaction was attended with great So- 
 lemnity : And God feemed to own it by exciting in 
 them a fear and jealoufy of themfelves, left they 
 should fin againft God ; fo that the prefence of God 
 
 feemed 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 2,31 
 
 feemed to be amongft us in this conclusion of the fa- 
 cramental folemnity. 
 
 [The next day he fet out on a journey towards 
 Philadelphia ; from whence he did not return until 
 Saturday. He went this journey, and fpent the 
 week, under a great degree of illnefs of body, and 
 dejecliion of mind.] 
 
 Lord's Day, "July 20. — Preached twice to my peo- 
 ple from John xvii. 24. Father, I will that they alfo 
 whom thou haft given me, be with me, where I am, that 
 they may behold my glory, which thou haft given me. 
 Was helped to difcourfe with great clearnefs and 
 plainnefs in the forenoon. In the afternoon, enjoy- 
 ed fome tendernefs, and fpake with fome influence. 
 Divers were in tears ; and fome, to appearance, in 
 diftrefs. 
 
 Monday, 'July 21 . — Preached to the Indians, chief- 
 ly for the fake of fome Grangers. Then propofed 
 my defign of taking a journey fpeedily to Sufque- 
 hannah : Exhorted my people to pray for me, that 
 God would be with me in that journey, etc. Then 
 chofe divers perfons of the congregation to travel 
 with me. Afterwards, fpent time in difcourfing to 
 the itrangers, and was fomewhat encouraged with 
 them. Took care of my people's fecular bulinefs, 
 and was not a little exercifed with it. Had fome 
 degree of compofure and comfort in lecret retirement. 
 
 Tucfday, July 22. — Was in a dejected frame, moft 
 of the day : Wanted to wear out life and have it at 
 an end ; but had fome defires of living to God, and 
 wearing out life for him. O that I could indeed 
 do fo ! 
 
 [The next day he went to Elizabeth-Town, to a 
 meeting of the Prefbytery.] 
 
 Lord's Day, July 27.— Difcourfed to my people, 
 in the forenoon, irom Luke xii. 37. on the duty and 
 benefit of watching. God helped me in the latter 
 
 P 4 part 
 
232 The LIFE of 
 
 part of my difcourfe, and the power of God appear- 
 ed in the affembly. In the afternoon, difcourfed 
 from Luke xiii. 25. Here alfo I enjoyed fome af- 
 fiftance, and the Spirit of God feemed to attend what 
 was fpoken, fo that there was a great folemnity, and 
 fome tears among Incjians and others. 
 
 Monday, 'July 28. — Was very weak, and fcarce 
 able to perform any bufineis at all ; but enjoyed 
 fweetnefs and comfort in prayer, both morning and 
 evening; and was compofed and comfortable through 
 the day. My mind was intenfe, and my heart fer- 
 vent, at lead in fome degree, in fecret duties; and I 
 longed to fpend and be /pent for God. 
 
 Tue/day, July 29. — My mind was cheerful, and 
 free from thofe melancholy damps, that I am often 
 exercifed with : Had freedom in looking up to God, 
 at fundry times in the day. In the evening I enjoy- 
 ed a comfortable feafon in fecret prayer ; was help- 
 ed to plead with God for my own dear people, that 
 he would carry on his own bleffed work among 
 them ; was affifted alfo in praying for the divine 
 prefence to attend me in my intended journey to 
 Sufquehannah ; was alfo helped to remember dear 
 brethren and friends in New- England ; fcarce knew 
 how tq leave the throne of grace, and it grieved me 
 that 1 was obliged to go to bed ; I longed to do 
 fomething for God, but knew not how. Bleffed be 
 God for this freedom from dejection. 
 
 Wednejday> July 30. — Was uncommonly comforta- 
 ble, both in body and mind ; in the forenoon spe- 
 cially : My mind was folemn, I was ailifted in my 
 work, and God feemed to be near to me ; fo that 
 the day was as comfortable as moft I have enjoyed 
 for fome time. In the evening was favoured with 
 affiflance in fecret prayer, and felt much as I did the 
 evening before. Bleffed be God for that freedom 
 I then enjoyed at the throne of grace, for my<- 
 
 felf, 
 
Mr. DAVID BR A I NERD. 233 
 
 felf, my people, and my dear friends. It is good for 
 me to draw near to God. 
 
 [He feems to have continued very -much in the 
 fame free, comfortable Hate of mind the next day.] 
 
 Friday, Augujl 1 . — In the evening enjoyed a fweet 
 feafon in fecret prayer; clouds-of darknefs and per- 
 plexing care were fweetly fcattered, and nothing 
 anxious remained. O, how ferene was my mind at 
 this feafon ! How free from that dift.ra6t.ing con- 
 cern I have often felt ! Thy will be done, was a peti- 
 tion fweet to my foul ; and if God had bidden me 
 choofe for my felf in any affair, I mould have chofen 
 rather to have referred the choice to him ; for I faw 
 he was infinitely wife, and could not do any thing 
 amifs, as I was in danger of doing. Was aflifled 
 in prayer, for my dear flock, that God would pro- 
 mote his own work among them, and that God 
 would go with me in my intended journey to Sul- 
 quehannah ; was helped to remember dear friends 
 in New-England, and my dear brethren in the min- 
 iftry. I found enough in the fweet duty of prayer 
 to have engaged me to continue in it the whole night, 
 would my bodily ffate have admitted of it. O how 
 fweet it is, to be enabled heartily to fay, Lord, not 
 my will, but thine be done ! 
 
 Saturday, Augujl 2. — Near night preached from 
 Matth. xi. 29. Was confiderably helped ; and the 
 prefence of God feemed to be fomewhat remarkably 
 in the affembly ; divine truths made powerful im- 
 preffions, both upon faints and finners. BlefTed be 
 God for fuch a revival among us. In the evening 
 was very weary, but found my fpirits fupported and 
 refrefhed. 
 
 Lord's Day, Augujl 3. — Difcourfed to my people, 
 in the forenoon, from Coloff. iii. 4. Obferved that 
 Chrift is the believer's life. God helped me and 
 gave me his prefence in this difcourfe ; and it was 
 
 a 
 
aj4 The LIFE op 
 
 a feafon of considerable power in the afTembly. In 
 the afternoon preached from Luke xix. 41 . 42. I 
 enjoyed fome affiftance \ though not fo much as in 
 the forenoon. 
 
 Monday, Augujl 4. — Spent the day in writing ; 
 enjoyed much freedom and affifrance in my work : 
 Was in a compofed and comfortable frame, moft of 
 the day ; and in the evening enjoyed fome fweetnefs 
 jn prayer. BlefTed be God , my fpirits were yet up, 
 and I was free from finking damps ; as I have been 
 in general ever fince I came from Elizabeth-Town 
 ]a{t, O what a mercy is this ! 
 
 Tuefday, Augujl 5. — Towards night, preached at 
 the funeral of one of my chriftians, from Ifai. lvii. 
 3 t Was opprefled with the nervous headach, and 
 considerably dejected : However, had a little free- 
 dom, fome part of the time I was difcourflng. Was 
 extremely weary in the evening ; but notwithstand- 
 ing enjoyed fome liberty and cheerfulnefs of mind 
 in prayer ; and found the dejection that I feared, 
 much removed, and my fpirits considerably re- 
 freshed, 
 
 [He continued in a very comfortable cheerful 
 frame of mind the next day, with his heart enlarg- 
 ed in the fervice of God.] 
 
 Thurfday, Augujl 7. — -Rode to my houfe, where I 
 fpent the lad winter, in order to bring fome things 
 I needed for my Sufquehannah journey : Was re- 
 freshed to fee that place, which God fo marvelloufr 
 ]y vifited with the iTiowers of his grace. O how 
 amazingly did the power of God often appear there ! 
 Bkfsthe Lord, my foul, and forget not all his benefits , 
 
 [The next day, he fpeaks of liberty, enlarge- 
 ment, and fweetnefs of mind, in prayer and relig- 
 ious converfation.] 
 
 Saturday, Augujl 9. — In the afternoon, vifited my 
 people ; fet their affairs in order, as much as poffi- 
 
 ble, 
 
Mr. DAVID BRA IN ERD. 235 
 
 Jble, and contrived for them the management of their 
 worldly bufinefs : Difcourfed to them in a folemn 
 manner, and concluded with prayer. Was compof- 
 ed, and comfortable in the evening, and fomewhat 
 fervent in fecret prayer : Had fome fenfe and view 
 of the eternal world, and found a ferenity of mind. 
 
 that I could magnify the Lord for any freedom he 
 affords me in prayer. 
 
 Lord's Day, Auguji 10. — Difcourfed to my peo- 
 ple, both parts of the day, from Acts iii. 19. In 
 difcourfing of repentance, in the forenoon, God 
 helped me, fo that my difcourfe was fearching. Some 
 were in tears, both of the Indians and white people ; 
 and the word of God was attended with fome pow- 
 er. In theintermiffion feafon, I was engaged in dif- 
 courfing to fome in order to their baptifm ; as well 
 as with one who had then lately met with fome com- 
 fort, after fpiritual trouble and diftrefs. In the af- 
 ternoon, was fomewhat aflifled again, though weak 
 and weary. Afterwards baptized iix perfons ; three 
 adults, and three children. Was in a comfortable 
 frame in the evening, and enjoyed fome fatisfa&ion 
 in fecret prayer. I fcarce ever in my life felt my- 
 felf fo full of tendernefs, as this day. 
 
 Monday, Auguji 1 1 . — Being about to fet out on a 
 journey to Sufquehannah the next day, with leave 
 of Providence, I fpent fome time this day in prayer 
 with my people, that God would blefs and fucceed 
 my intended journey, that he would fend forth his 
 blelTed Spirit with his word, and fet up his kingdom 
 among the poor Indians in the wildernefs. While 
 
 1 was opening and applying part of the cxth and iid 
 Pfalms, die power of God feemed to defcend on the 
 aff-mblyin fome meafure; and, while I was making 
 the firft prayer, numbers were melted, and I found 
 fome affectionate enlargement of foul myfelf. 
 Freached from Ads iv. 31. God helped me, and 
 
 my 
 
236 The LIFE of 
 
 my interpreter alfo : There was a making and melt- 
 ing among us ; and divers, I doubt not, were in 
 fome meafure filled with the Holy Ghofl. After- 
 wards, Mr. M 'Knight prayed : I then opened the 
 two laft ftanzas of the Ixxiid Pfal. at which time 
 God was prefent with us ; efpecially while I infift- 
 edupon the promife of all nations' bleffing the great 
 Redeemer : My foul was refrefhed, to think, that 
 this day, this blefTed glorious feafon, mould furely 
 come ; and I trull, numbers of my dear people were 
 alfo refrefhed. Afterwards prayed ; had fome free- 
 dom, but was almoft fpent: Then walked out, and 
 left my people to carry on religious exercifes among 
 themfelves : They prayed repeatedly, and fung, 
 while I refted and refrefhed myfelf. Afterwards, 
 went to the meeting ; prayed with, and difmilTed 
 the affembly. 
 
 [The next day he fet out on his journey towards 
 Sufquehannah, and fix of his chriftian Indians with 
 him, whom hehadchofen out of his congregation, as 
 thofe that he judged moft fit to affiit him in the buf- 
 inefs he was going upon. He took his way through 
 Philadelphia; intending to go to Sufquehannah riv- 
 er, far down along, where it is fettled by the white 
 people, below the country inhabited by the Indians ; 
 , and fo to travel up the river to the Indian habita- 
 tions : For although this was much further about, 
 yet hereby he avoided the huge mountains, and hid- 
 eous wildernefs, that muft be crofted in the nearer 
 way ; which in time paft he had found to be ex- 
 tremely difficult and fatiguing. He rode this week 
 as far as Charleftown, a place of that name about 
 thirty miles weft ward of Philadelphia ; where he 
 arrived on Friday : And in his way hither, was for the 
 moft part in a compofed comfortable ftate of mind.] 
 Saturday, Augujt 16. — ["At Charleftown.] It be- 
 ing a day kept by the people of the place where I 
 
 now 
 
 
Mr. DAVID BR A I NERD. 237 
 
 now was, as preparatory to the celebration of the 
 Lord's fupper, I tarried ; heard Mr. Treat preach ; 
 and then preached myfelf. God gave me fome good 
 degree of freedom, and helped me to difcourfe with 
 warmth and application to the confcience. After- 
 wards, I was refrefhed in fpirit, though much tired ; 
 and fpent the evening agreeably, having fome free- 
 dom in prayer, as well as chriftian converfation. 
 
 Lord's Day, Augufl 17. — Enjoyed liberty, com- 
 pofure, and fatis fact ion, in the fecret duties of the 
 morning : Had my heart fomewhaf enlarged in 
 prayer for dear friends, as well as for myfelf. In 
 the forenoon, attended Mr. Treat's preaching, par- 
 took of the Lord's fupper, five of my people alfo 
 communicating in this holy ordinance : I enjoyed 
 fome enlargement and outgoing of foul in this feafon. 
 f In the afternoon, preached from Ezek. xxxiii. 11. 
 Enjoyed not fo much fenfible affiftance as the day 
 before; however, -was helped to fome fervency in 
 addrefling immortal fouls. 
 
 Monday, Auguft 18. — Rode on my way towards 
 Paxton, upon Sufquehannah river. Felt my fpirits 
 fink, towards night, fo that 1 had little comfort. 
 
 Tuefday, Augufl 19. — Rode forward ftill ; and at 
 night lodged by the fide of Sufquehannah. Was 
 weak and difordered, both this and the preceding 
 day, and found my fpirits considerably damped, 
 meeting with none that I thought godly people. 
 
 IVednefday, Augufl 20. — Having lain in a cold fweat 
 all night, 1 coughed much bloody matter this morn- 
 ing, and was under great diforder of body, and not 
 a little melancholy ; but what gave me fome encour- 
 agement, was, I had a fecret hope that I might 
 fpeedily get a difmiffion from earth and all its toils 
 and forrows. Rode this day to one Chambers's up- 
 on Sufquehannah, and there lodged. Was much af- 
 flicted in the evening, with an ungodly crew, drink- 
 ing, 
 
238 The LIFE of 
 
 ing, fwearing, &c. O, what a hell it would be, td 
 be numbered with the ungodly ! Enjoyed fome agree- 
 able converfation with a traveller, who feemed to 
 have fome relifh of true religion. 
 
 T/jurfday, Augufl 21 . — Rode up the river about fif- 
 teen miles, and there lodged, in a family that ap- 
 peared quite deftituteof God. Laboured to difcourfe 
 with the man about the life of religion, but found 
 him very artful in evading fuch converfation. O, 
 what a death it is to fome, to hear of the things of 
 God ! Was out of my element ; but was not fo de- 
 jected as at fome times. 
 
 Friday, Augufl 22. — Continued my courfe up the 
 river j my people now being with me, who before 
 were parted from me : Travelled above all the En- 
 glim fettlements ; at night, lodged in the open 
 woods ; and flept with more comfort, than while 
 among an ungodly company of white people. En- 
 joyed fome liberty in fecret prayer, this evening ; 
 and was helped to remember dear friends, as well as 
 my dear flock, and the church of God in general. 
 
 Saturday, Augufl 23. — Arrived at the Indian town, 
 called Shaumoking, near night. Was not fo deject- 
 ed as formerly ; but yet fome what exercifed. Felt 
 fomewhat compofed in the evening j enjoyed fome 
 freedom in leaving my all with God : Through the 
 great goodnels of God, I enjoyed fome liberty of 
 mind ; was not diftreffed with a defpondency, as 
 frequently heretofore. 
 
 Lord's Day, Augufl 24.— Towards noon viflted 
 fome of the Dela wares, and difcourfed with them 
 about chriftianity. In the afternoon, difcourfed to 
 the king, and others, upon divine things ; who ieem- 
 ed difpofed to hear. Spent moll: of the day in thefe 
 exercifes. In the evening, enjoyed fome comfort 
 and fat is fact ion ; and efpecially had fome fweetnefs 
 in fecret prayer : This duty was made fo agreeable 
 
Mr. DAVID BRA INERD, 239 
 
 to me, that I loved to walk abroad and repeatedly en- 
 gage in it. O, how comfortable is a little glimpfe 
 of God ! 
 
 Monday, Augujl 25.— Spent mod of the day in 
 writing. Sent out my people that were with me, 
 to talk with the Indians, and contract a friendfhip, 
 and familiarity with them, that I might have a bet- 
 ter opportunity of treating with them about chrif« 
 tianity. Some good feemed to be done by their vii- 
 its this day j divers appeared willing to hearken to 
 chriitianity. My fpirits were a little refreflied, this 
 evening ; and I found fome liberty and fatisfa<5lion 
 in prayer. 
 
 TuefJay, Augujl 26. — About noon, difcourfed to a 
 confiderable number of Indians : God helped me, I 
 am perfuaded : I was enabled to fpeak with much 
 plainnefsi and fome warmth and power. The dif- 
 courfe had impreffion upon fome, and made them 
 appear very ferious^ I thought, things now appear- 
 ed as encouraging as they did at Crofweekfung, at 
 the time of my firft vilit to thofe Indians. I was a 
 little encouraged : I prelfed things with all my 
 might j and called out my people who were then 
 prefent, to give in their teflimony for God ; which 
 they did. Towards night,- was refrefhed j felt a 
 heart to pray for the fetting up of God's kingdom, 
 here ;as well as for my dear congregation below, 
 and my dear friends elfewhere. 
 
 Tbu/fday, Augujl 28. — In the forenoon, was tffr* 
 der great concern of mind about my work. Was 
 vifited by fome who dellred to hear me preach ; dif- 
 courfed to them, in the afternoon, with fome ferven- 
 cy, and laboured to perfuade them to turn to God, 
 Was full of concern for the kingdom of Chrift, and 
 found fome enlargement of foul in prayer, both in 
 lecret and in my family. Scarcely ever faw more 
 clearly, than this day, that it is God's work to con- 
 vex c 
 
240 " T he LI F E o f 
 
 vert fouls, and efpecially poor heathens : I knew, I 
 could not touch them ; I faw, I could only fpeak to 
 dry bones, hut could give them no fenfe of what I 
 faid. My eyes were up to God for help : I could 
 fay, the work was his ; and if done, the glory would 
 be his. 
 
 Saturday f Auguft 3°* — Spent the forenoon in viflt- 
 ing a trader, that came down the river lick ; who 
 appeared as ignorant as any Indian. In the after- 
 noon, fpent fome time in writing, reading, and 
 prayer. 
 
 Lord's Day, Augufi 31 . — Spent much time, in the 
 morning, in fecret duties : Found a weight upon 
 my fpirit, and could not but cry to God with con- 
 cern and engagement of foul. Spent fome time alfo 
 in reading and expounding God's word to my dear 
 family, that was with me, as well as in finging and 
 prayer with them. Afterwards, fpake the word of 
 God to fome few of the Sufquehannah Indians. In 
 the afternoon, felt very weak and feeble. Near 
 night, wasjbmething refrefhed in mind, with fome 
 views of things relating to my great work. O, how 
 heavy is my work, when faith cannot take hold of 
 an almighty arm, for the performance of it ! Ma- 
 ny times have I been ready to fink in this cafe. 
 BleiTed be God, that I may repair to a full fountain. 
 
 Monday, September 1. — Set out on a journey to- 
 wards a place called the Great-lfland, about fifty 
 miles diftant from Shaumoking, in the northweftern 
 branch of Sufquehannah. Travelled fome part of 
 the way, and at night lodged in the woods, Was 
 exceeding feeble, this day, and fweat much the night 
 following. 
 
 Tuefdaf, September 2. — Rode forward ; but no faft- 
 er than my people went on foot. Was very weak, 
 on this, as well as the preceding days : Was io fee- 
 ble and faint, that I feared it would kill me to lie 
 \ out 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 241 
 
 out in the open air ; and fome of our company be- 
 ing parted from us, fo that we had now no axe with 
 us, I had no way but to climb into a young pine 
 tree, and with my knife to lop the branches, and fo 
 made a flielter from the dew. But the evening be- 
 ing cloudy and very likely for rain, I was ftill un- 
 der fears of being extremely expofed : Sweat much 
 in the night, fo that my linen was almoft wringing 
 wet all night. I fcarce ever was more weak and 
 weary, than this evening, when I was able to fit up 
 at all. This was a melancholy fituation I was in ; 
 but I endeavoured to quiet myfelf with confidera- 
 tions of the poffibility of my being in much worfe 
 circumstances amongff. enemies, &c. 
 
 Wednefday , September 3. — Rode to the Delaware- 
 Town ; found divers drinking and drunken. Dif- 
 courfed with fome of the Indians about chriitianity ; 
 obferved my interpreter much engaged and aflifted 
 in his work : Some few perfons feemed to hear with 
 great earneftnefs and engagement of foul. About 
 noon, rode to a fmall town of Shauwaunoes, about 
 eight miles diftant ; fpent an hour or two there, and 
 returned to the Delaware-Town> and lodged there. 
 Was fcarce ever more confounded with a fenfe of my 
 own unfruitfulnefs, and unfitnefs for my work, thart 
 now. O, what a dead, heartlefs, barren, unprofita- 
 ble wretch did I now fee myfelf to be ! 
 
 Thurfday, September 4. — Difcourfed with the In- 
 dians, in the morning, about chriitianity ; my inter- 
 preter, afterwards, carrying on the difcourfe, to a 
 confiderable length : Some few appeared well dif- 
 pofed, and fomewhat affected. Left this place, and 
 returned towards Shaumoking ; and at night lodged 
 in the place where I lodged the Monday night be- 
 fore : Was in very uncomfortable circumfcances in 
 the evening, my people being belated, and not com- 
 ing to me until pall ten at night ; fo that I had no 
 
 CL fire 
 
24* The LIFE of 
 
 fire to drefs any visuals, or to keep me warm, or 
 keep off wild beafts • and I was fcarce ever more 
 weak and worn out in all my life. However, I lay 
 down and flept before my people came up, expect- 
 ing nothing elfe but to fpend the whole night alone 
 and without fire. 
 
 Friday, September 5. — Was exceeding weak, fo 
 that I could fcarccly ride ; it feemed fometimes as 
 if I muft fall off from my horfe, and lie in the open 
 woods: However, got to Shaumoking towards night: 
 Felt fomethingof a fpirit of thankfulnefs, that God 
 had fo far returned me : Was refrefhed, to fee one of 
 my chriftians, whom I left here in my late excursion. 
 Saturday, September 6. — Spent the day in a very 
 weak ftate ; coughing and fpitting blood, and hav- 
 ing little appetite to any food I had with me : Was 
 able to do very little, except difcourfe a while of di- 
 vine things to my own people, and to fome few I 
 met with. Had, by this time, very little life or heart to 
 fpeak for God, through feeblenefs of body, and flat- 
 nefs of fpirits. 
 
 Lord's Day, September 7. — Was much in the fame 
 weak ftate of body, and afflicted frame of mind, as 
 in the preceding day : My foul was grieved, and 
 mourned, that I could do nothing for God. Read 
 and expounded fome part of God's word to my own 
 dear family, and fpent fome time in prayer with 
 them ; difcourfed alfo a little to the pagans : But 
 fpent the Sabbath with little comfort. 
 
 Monday, September 8. — Spent the forenoon among 
 the Indians ; in the afternoon left Shaumoking, and 
 returned down the river, a £ew miles. Had propof- 
 ed to have tarried a confiderable time longer among 
 the Indians upon Sufquehannah, but was hindered 
 from purfuing my purpofe by the licknefs that pre- 
 vailed there, the weakly circumstances of my own 
 people that were with me, .and efpecially my own 
 
 extraordinary 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 243 
 
 extraordinary weaknefs, having been exercifed with 
 great nocturnal fweats, and a coughing up of blood, 
 in almoft the whole of the journey ; and was a great 
 part of the time fo feeble and faint, that it feemed as 
 though I never mould be able to reach home ; and 
 at the fame time very deftitute of the comforts and 
 even neceflaries of life ; at leafl, what' was neceiTary 
 for one in fo weak a ftate. 
 
 Tuefday, September 9. — Rode down the river, near 
 thirty miles. Was extreme weak, much fatigued, 
 and wet with a thunder florm. Difcourfed with 
 fome warmth and clofenefs to fome poor ignorant 
 iouls, on the life and power of religion; what were 
 and what were not the evidences of it- They feem- 
 ed much aftonifhed, when they faw my Indians alk 
 a blefling and give thanks at dinner ; concluding 
 that a very high evidence of grace in them : But 
 were aftonifhed, when I infifted that neither that, 
 nor yet fecret prayer, was any fure evidence of 
 grace. O the ignorance of the world ! How are 
 fome empty outward forms, that may all be en- 
 tirely felfifh, miftaken for true religion, infalli- 
 ble evidences of it ! The Lord pity a deluded 
 world. 
 
 Tbuifday, September 1 1 . — Rode homeward ; but 
 was very weak, and fometimes fcarce able to ride. 
 Had a very importunate invitation to preach at a 
 meeting houfe I came by, the people being then 
 gathering; but could not by reafon of weaknefs. 
 Was refigned and cornpofed under my weaknefs ; 
 but was much exercifed with concern for my com- 
 panions in travel, whom I had left with much regret, 
 fome lame, and fome fick. 
 
 Friday, September 12, — Rode about fifty miles ; 
 and came juit at night to a chriftian triend's houfe, 
 about twenty five miles well ward from Philadel- 
 phia. Was courteoufly received, and kindly enter* 
 
 0^2 tained, 
 
244 The LIFE of 
 
 tained, and found myfelf much refrefhed in the 
 midil of my weaknefs and fatigues. 
 
 Saturday, September 13. — Was ilill agreeably enter- 
 tained with chriflian friendship, and all things nee- 
 eflary for my weak circumflances : In the afternoon 
 heard Mr. Treat preach ; and was refrefhed in con- 
 verfation with him, in the evening. 
 
 hordes Day, September 14. — At the defire of Mr. 
 Treat and the people, I preached both parts of the 
 day, but fhort, from Luke xiv. 23. God gave me 
 fome freedom and warmth in my difcourfe ; and I 
 trull, helped me in fome meafure to labour in Jin- 
 glenefs of heart. Was much tired in the evening, 
 but was comforted with the mod tender treatment I 
 ever met with in my life. My mind through the 
 whole of this day was exceeding calm ; and I could 
 alk for nothing in prayer, with any encouragement 
 of foul, but that the will of God might be done. 
 
 Monday, September 15. — Spent the whole day, in 
 concert with Mr. Treat, in endeavours to compofe 
 a difference, fubfilting between certain perfons in 
 the congregation where we now were : There feem- 
 ed to be a blelTing on our endeavours. In the even- 
 ing, baptized a child: Was. in a calm compofed 
 frame, and enjoyed, I trull, a fpiritual fenfe of di- 
 vine things, while adminillering the ordinance. Af- 
 terwards, fpent the time in religious converfation, 
 until late in the night. This was indeed a pleafant 
 agreeable evening. 
 
 Friday, September 19. — Rode from Mr. Treat's to 
 Mr. Stockton's at Prince-Town : Was extreme 
 weak, but kindly received and entertained. Spent 
 the evening with fome degree of fatisfadion. 
 
 Saturday, September 20. — Arrived among my own 
 people, jull at night : Found them praying togeth- 
 er : Went in and gave them fome account of God's 
 dealings with mc and my companions in the jour- 
 ney ; 
 
Mr. DAVID BRA INERD. 245 
 
 ney ; which feemed affecting to them. I then pray- 
 ed with them, and thought the divine prefence was 
 amongft us ; divers were melted into tears, and 
 feemed to have a fenfe of divine things. Being very- 
 weak, I was obliged foon to repair to my lodgings, 
 and felt much worn out in the evening. Thus God 
 has carried me through the fatigues and perils of an- 
 other journey to Sufquehannah, and returned me 
 again in fafety, though under a great degree of bod- 
 ily indifpofition. O that my foul were truly thank~ 
 ful for renewed inftances of mercy ! Many hard- 
 ships and diflreffes I endured in this journey : But 
 the Lord fupported me under them all. 
 
 Qj PART 
 
226 The LIFE of 
 
 PART VIL 
 
 After his Return from his lafl journey to Susque- 
 hannah, until his Death. 
 
 LORD'S DAY, September 21, 1746.— I was fo 
 weak I could not preach, nor pretend to ride 
 over to my people in the forenoon. In the afternoon 
 rode out ; fat in my chair, and difcourfed to my 
 people from Rom. xiv. 7. 8. I was ftrengthened 
 and helped in my difcourfe : And there appeared 
 fomething agreeable in the afTembly. I returned to 
 my lodgings extremely tired ; but thankful, that I 
 had been enabled to fpeak a word to my poor people 
 1 had been fo long abfent from. Was able to ileep 
 very little this night, through wearinefsand pain. O 
 how blelTed mould I be, if the little I do were all 
 done with right views ! O that whether / live I might 
 live to the Lord, &c. 
 
 Saturday, September 27. — Spent this day, as well 
 as the whole week paft, under a great degree of bod- 
 ily weaknefs, exercifed with a violent cough, and a 
 confiderable fever ; had no appetite to any kind of 
 food ; and frequently brought up what I eat, as foon 
 is it was down ; and oftentimes had little reft in rny 
 bed, by reafonof pains in my breaft and back : Was 
 able, however, to ride over to my people, about two 
 miles, every day, and take fome care of thofe who 
 were then at work upon a fmall houfe for me to re- 
 fide in amongft the Indians. I was fornetimes fcarce 
 able to walk, and never able to fit up the whole day, 
 through the week. Was calm and compofed, and 
 but little exercifed with melancholy damps, as in 
 
 former 
 
Mr. D AVID BR A I NERD. 247 
 
 former fcafons of weaknefs. Whether I fliould ever 
 recover, or no, feemed very doubtful ; but this was 
 many times a comfort to me, that life and death did 
 not depend upon my choice. I was plealed, to think 
 that he who is infinitely wife, had the determination 
 of this matter ; and that I had no trouble, to consid- 
 er and weigh things upon all fides, in order to make 
 the choice, whether I would live or die. Thus my 
 time was confumed ; I had little ftrength to pray, 
 none to write or read, and fcarce any to meditate : 
 But through divine goodnefs, I could with great 
 compofure look death in the face, and frequently 
 with fenfible joy. O, how blefTed it is, to be habit- 
 ually prepared for death ! The Lord grant, that I 
 maybe actually ready alio. 
 
 Lord's Day, September 28.— Rode to my people, 
 and, though under much weaknefs, attempted to 
 preach, from 2 Cor. xiii. 5. Difcourfed about half 
 an hour ; at which feafon divine power feemed to at- 
 tend the word : But being extreme weak, I was 
 obliged to defifr. ; and after a turn of faintnefs, with 
 much difficulty, rode to my lodgings ; where betak- 
 ing myfelf to my bed, I lay in a burning fever, and 
 almoft delirious, for feveral hours ; until towards 
 morning, my lever went off with a violent fweat. I 
 have often been feverifh, and unable to reft, quietly 
 after preaching ; but this was the molf fevere dif- 
 treffing turn, that ever preaching brought upon me. 
 Yet I felt perfectly at reft in my own mind, becaufe 
 I had made my utmoft attempts to fpeak for God, 
 and knew I could do no more. 
 
 Tuefday, Septmbe* ; 3.0.-rYefterdaij r i and today, was 
 in the fame weak itate, or rather weaker than in days 
 pall: j was fcarce able to fit up half the day. Was 
 in a compofed frame of mind, remarkably free from 
 dejection and melancholy damps ; as God has been 
 plealed, in great meafure, to deliver me* from thefe 
 Q^4 unhappy 
 
248 The LIFE of 
 
 unhappy glooms, in the general courfe of my pref- 
 ent weaknefs hitherto, and alfo from a peevifh fro- 
 ward fpirit : And O, how great a mercy is this ! O 
 that I might always be perfectly quiet in feafons of 
 greateft weaknefs, although nature fhould fink and 
 fail. 
 
 Saturday, Othber 4. — Spent the former part of 
 this week under a great degree of infirmity and dif- 
 order, as I had done feveral weeks b r ore : Was able 
 however, to ride a little every day, although unable 
 to lit up half of the day, until Thurfday. Took 
 fome care daily of fome perfons at work upon my 
 houfe. On Friday, afternoon, found myfelf won- 
 derfully revived and ftrengthened ; and having fome 
 time before given notice to my people, and thofe of 
 them at the Forks of Delaware, in particular, that I 
 defigned, with the leave of Providence, to adminifter 
 the facrament of the Lord's fupper upon the firft 
 Sabbath in October, the Sabbath now approaching, 
 on Friday afternoon I preached, preparatory to the 
 facrament, from 2 Cor. xiii. 5. Finifhing what I 
 had propofed to offer upon the fubject the Sabbath 
 before. The fermon was blefTed of God to the ftir- 
 ring up religious affection, and a fpirit of devotion, 
 in the people of God ; and to the greatly affecting 
 -*me who had backflidden from God, which caufed 
 him to judge and condemn himfelf. This being 
 Saturday, I difcourfed particularly with divers of the 
 communicants ; and this afternoon preached from 
 Zech. xii. 10. There feemed to be a tender melting, 
 and hearty mourning for fin, in numbers in the con- 
 gregation. My foul was in a comfortable frame, 
 and I enjoyed freedom and afliftance in publick fer- 
 vice : Was myfelf, as well as mod of the congrega- 
 tion, much affected with the humble confeffioo, and 
 apparent brokenheartednefs of the foreinentioned 
 backflider ; and could not but rejoice, that God had 
 
 given 
 
Mr. DAVID BR AI NERD. 249 
 
 given him fuch a fenfe of his fin and unworthinefs. 
 Was extremely tired in the evening ; but lay on my 
 bed, and difcourfed to my people. 
 
 Lord's Day, October 5. — Was ffill very weak ; and, 
 in the morning, considerably afraid 1 mould not be 
 able to go through the work of the day ; having 
 much to do, both in private and publick. Difcourf- 
 ed before the administration of the facrament, from 
 John i. 29. Behold the Lamb of God, that taketh away 
 the Jin of the world. Where 1 confidered, I. In what 
 refpe&:s Chrift is called the Lamb of God ; and ob- 
 served that he is fo called, 1. From lite purity and 
 innocency of his nature. 2. From, his meeknefs and 
 patience under Sufferings. 3. From his being that 
 atonement, which was pointed out in the facrifice of 
 lambs, and in particular by the pafchal lamb. II. 
 Confidered how and in what fenfe he takes away the 
 Jin of the world : And obferved, that the means and 
 manner, in and by which he takes away the fins of 
 men, was his giving him/elf for them, doing and Suf- 
 fering in their room and Stead, &c. And he is faid 
 to take away ihtjin of the world, not becaufe all the 
 world mall actually be redeemed from fin by him ; 
 but becaufe, J. He bai aone and fuSrered Sufficient 
 to anfwer for the fins of the world, and io to redeem 
 all mankind. 2. He actually docs take away the 
 Sins of the elect world. And III. Confidered how 
 we are to behold him, in order to have our (ins tak- 
 en away. t. Not with our bodily eyes : Nor 2. By 
 imagining him on the crofs, &c. But by a fpiritual 
 view of his glory and goodnefs, engaging the foul to 
 rely on him, &c. The divine prefence attended this 
 difcourfe ; and the aiTembly was considerably melt- 
 ed with divine truths. After ferrnon baptized two 
 perfons. Then administered the Lord's fupper to 
 near forty communicants, of the Indians, betides 
 divers dear christians of the white people. It Seem- 
 ed 
 
250 The LIFE of 
 
 ed to be a feafon of divine power and grace j and num- 
 bers Teemed to rejoice in God. O.the fvveet union and 
 harmony then appearing among the religious people ! 
 My foul was refrefhed, and my religious friends, of 
 the white people, with me. After the facrament, 
 could fcarcely get home, though it was not more 
 than twenty rods ; but was fupported and led by 
 my friends, and laid on my bed ; where I lay in 
 pain until fome time in the evening ; and then was 
 able to lit up and difcourfe with friends. O how 
 was this day fpent in prayers and praifes among my 
 dear people i One might hear them, all the morning 
 before publick worfhip, and in the evening, until 
 near midnight, praying and ringing praifes to God, 
 in one or other of their houfes. My foul was re- 
 frefhed, though my body was weak. 
 
 [This week he went in a very low ftate, in two 
 days, to Elizabeth-Town, to attend the meeting of 
 the Synod there : But was difappointed by its remov- 
 al to New-York. He continued in a very compofed 
 comfortable frame of mind.] 
 
 Saturday, OBober u. — Towards night was feized 
 with an ague, which was followed with a hard fever, 
 and confiderable pain : Was treated with great 
 kindnefs, and was afhamed to fee fo much concern 
 about fo unworthy a creature, as I knew myfelf to 
 be. Was in a comfortable frame of mind, wholly 
 fubmifiive, with regard to life or death. It was in- 
 deed a peculiar fatisfacfion to me, to think, that it 
 was not my concern or bufinefs to determine wheth- 
 er I mould live or die. I likevvife felt peculiarly fat- 
 isfied, while under this uncommon degree of difor- 
 der ; being now fully convinced of my being really 
 weak, and unable to perform my work; whereas at 
 other times my mind was perplexed with fears, that 
 I was a miiimprover of time, by conceiting I was 
 fick, when I was not in reality fo. O, how precious 
 
 is 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 251 
 
 is time ! And how guilty it makes me feel, when I 
 think I have trifled away and mifimproved it, or 
 neglected to fill up each part of it with duty, to the 
 utmoft of my ability and capacity ! 
 
 Lord's Day, Oftober 12. — Was fcarce able to fit 
 up, in the forenoon : In the afternoon, attended 
 publick worfhip, and was in a compofed and com- 
 fortable frame. 
 
 [The following week, he went back to his Indians 
 at Cranberry, to take fome care of their fpiritual and 
 temporal concerns : And was much fpent with rid- 
 ing ; though he rode but a little way in a day.] 
 
 Friday j Oflober 24. — Spent the day in overfeeing 
 and directing my people, about mending their fence, 
 and fecuring their wheat. Found that all their con- 
 cerns of a fecular nature depended upon me. Was 
 fom e what re fre (lied in the evening, having been able 
 to do fomething valuable in the day time. O, how 
 it pains me, to fee time pafs away, when I can do 
 nothing to any purpofe ! 
 
 Saturday, OEioberl§. — Vifited fome of my peo- 
 ple ; fpent fome time in writing, and felt much bet- 
 ter in body, than ufual : When it was near night, I 
 felt fo well, that I had thoughts of expounding : But 
 in the evening was much difordered again, and fpent 
 the night in coughing, and fpittingof blood. 
 
 Lord's Day, OBober 26. — In the morning, was ex- 
 ceeding weak: Spent the day, until near night, in 
 pain to fee my poor people, wandering as jheep not 
 having a jhepherd, waiting and hoping to fee me able 
 to preach to them before night : It could not but 
 difrrefs me, to fee them in this cafe, and to find my- 
 self unable to attempt any tiling for their fpiritual 
 benefit. But towards night, finding myfelf a little 
 better, I called them together to my own houfe, and 
 fat down and read and expounded Matth. v. t . — 16. 
 This difcourfe, though delivered in much wcaknefs, 
 
 was 
 
252 The LIFE of 
 
 was attended with power to many of the hearers ; 
 efpecially what was fpoken upon the laft of thofe 
 verfes ; where I infilled on the infinite wrong done 
 to religion, by having our light become darknefs, in- 
 stead oijhining before men. As many in the congre- 
 gation were now deeply affected with a fenle of their 
 deficiency, in regard of a f'pirtual converfation, that 
 might recommend religion to others, and as a fpirit 
 of concern and watchfulnefs feemed to be excited in 
 them ; fo there was one, in particular, that had fall- 
 en into the fin of drunkennefs, fome time before, 
 who was now deeply convinced of his fin, and the 
 great difhonour done to religion by his mifconduct, 
 and difcovered a great degree of grief and concern 
 on that account. My foul was refrefhed to fee this. 
 
 Monday, Oflober 27. — Spent the day in overfeeing 
 and directing the Indians, about mending the fence 
 round their wheat : Was able to walk with them, and 
 contrive their bufinefs, all the forenoon. In the af- 
 ternoon, was vifited by two dear friends, and fpent 
 fome time in converfation with them ; towards 
 night, was able to walk out, and take care of the 
 Indians again. In the evening, enjoyed a very 
 peaceful frame. 
 
 Tuefday, October 28. — Rode to Prince-Town, in a 
 very weak ftate : Had fuch a violent fever, by the 
 way, that I was forced to alight at a friend's houle ; 
 and lie down for fome time. Near night was vifit- 
 ed by Mr. Treat, Mr. Beaty and his wife, and 
 another friend. My fpirits were refrefhed to fee 
 them ' 3 but I was furprifed, and even afhamed, that 
 they had taken fo much pains as to ride thirty or 
 forty miles to fee me ! Was able to fit up moft of 
 the evening ; and fpent the time in a very comfort- 
 able manner with my friends. 
 
 Wednefday, OBober 29. — Rode about ten miles 
 with my friends that came yefterday to fee me ; and 
 
 then 
 
Mr.DAVID BRAINERD. 2S3 
 
 then parted with them, all but one, who (layed on 
 purpofe to keep me company, and cheer my fpirits; 
 
 Was extremely weak, and very feverifh, efpeciaily 
 towards night ; but enjoyed comfort and fatisfaction. 
 
 Lord's Day, November 2. — Was unable to preach, 
 and fcarcely able to lit, the whole day. Was griev- 
 ed, and almoft funk, to fee my poor people defHtute 
 of the means of grace ; efpeciaily confidering they 
 could not read, and fo were under great difad vanta- 
 ges for fpending the Sabbath comfortably. O me- 
 thought, I could be contented to be fick, if my poor 
 flock had a faithful paftor to feed them with 
 fpiritual knowledge ! A view of their want of this 
 was more afflictive to me, than all my bodily illnefs. 
 
 Monday, November 3. — Being now in fo weak and 
 low a (late, that I was utterly uncapable of per- 
 forming my work, and having little hope of recov- 
 ery, unlefs by much riding, I thought it my duty to 
 take a lengthy journey into New-England, and to 
 divert myfelf among my friends, whom I had not 
 now feen for along time. And accordingly took leave 
 of my congregation this day. Before I left my peo- 
 ple, I vifited them all in their refpective houfes, and 
 difcourfed to each one, as I thought mod proper and 
 fuitable for their circumftances, and found great free- 
 dom and afliftance in fo doing : I fcarcely left one 
 houfe but fome were in tears ; and many were not 
 only affected with my being about to leave them. 
 but with the folemn addreffes i made them upon 
 divine things ; for I was helped to be fervent in 
 Spirit, while I difcourfed to them. When I had 
 thus gonethroughmy congregation, which took me 
 moll: of the day, and had taken leave of them, and 
 of thefchool, I left home, and rode about two miles 
 to the houfe where I lived in the fummer paft, and 
 there lodged. Was refrefhed, this evening, in that I 
 , had left my congregation fo well difpofed and affected, 
 
 and 
 
254 The LIFE of 
 
 and that I had been fo much afiifted in making my 
 farewell addreffes to them. 
 
 Tuefday, November 4. — Rode to Woodbridge, and 
 lodged with Mr. Pierfon ; continuing Hill in a very 
 weak ftate. 
 
 Wednefday, November 5. — Rode to Elizabeth- 
 Town ; intending, as foon as poffible, to profecute 
 my journey into New-England. But was, in an 
 hour or two after my arrival, taken much worfe. 
 
 After this, for near a week, was confined to my 
 chamber, and mod of the time to my bed : And 
 then fo far revived as to be able to walk about the 
 houfe ; but was Hill confined within doors. 
 
 In the beginning of this extraordinary turn of dis- 
 order, after my coming to Elizabeth-Town, I was 
 enabled, through mercy, to maintain a calm, compof- 
 ed, and patient fpirit, as I had been before from the 
 beginning of my weaknefs. After I had been in 
 Elizabeth-Town about a fortnight, and had fo far 
 recovered that I was able to walk about houfe, 
 upon a day of thankfgiving kept in this place, I was 
 enabled to recall and recount over the mercies of 
 God, in fuch a manner as greatly affected me, and 
 filled me, I think, with thankfulnefs and praife to 
 God : Efpecially my foul praifed him for his work 
 of grace among the Indians, and the enlargement of 
 his dear kingdom : My foul bleffed God for what 
 he is in himfelf, and adored him, that he ever would 
 difplay himfelf to creatures : I rejoiced that he was 
 God, and longed that all fhould know it and feel it, 
 and rejoice in it. Lord, glorify thyfclf, was the de- 
 fire and cry of my foul. O that all people might 
 love and praife the bleffed God : That he might 
 have all poffible honour and glory from the intelli- 
 gent world. 
 
 After this comfortable thankfgiving fcafon, I fre- 
 quently enjoyed freedom and enlargement, and en- 
 
 gagednefs 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 255 
 
 gagednefs of foul, in prayer, and was enabled to in- 
 tercede with God for my dear congregation, very 
 often for every family, and every perfon, in particu- 
 lar ; and it was often a great comfort to me, that I 
 could pray heartily to God for thofe, to whom f 
 could not fpeak, and whom I was not allowed to fee. 
 But at other times, my fpirits were fo flat and low, 
 and my bodily vigour fo much wafted, that I had 
 i'carce any affections at all. 
 
 In December I had revived fo far as to be able to 
 walk abroad, and vilit friends, and feemed to be on 
 the gaining hand with regard to my health, in the 
 main, until Lord's Day, December 21. 
 
 After this, having perhaps taken fbme cold, I be- 
 gan to decline as to bodily health ; and contiuned to 
 do (o, until the latter end of January, 1746,7. 
 
 ■ On Lord's Day, February 1, though in a very 
 weak and low ftate, I enjoyed a confiderable deal of 
 comfort and fweetnefs in divine things ; and was 
 enabled to plead and ufe arguments with God in 
 prayer, I think, with a child like fpirit. That paf- 
 iage of fcripture occurred to my mind, and gave me 
 great ailiftance, If ye, being evil, know how to give 
 good gifts to your children, how much more will your 
 heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ajk 
 him? This text I was helped to plead and infill: up- 
 on ; and faw the divine faithfulnefs engaged for 
 dealing with me better than any earthly parent can 
 do with his child. This feafon fo refrefhed mv 
 foul that my body feemed alfo to be a gainer by it. 
 And from this time, I began gradually to amend. 
 And as 1 recovered fome ltrength, vigour and fpirit, 
 I found at times fome freedom and life in the exer- 
 cifes of devotion, and fome longings after fpirituality 
 and a life of ufefulnefs to the intereils of the great Re- 
 deemer ; although, at otherlimes, I was awfully barren 
 and lifelefs* and out of frame for the things of God ; fo 
 
 that 
 
'256 The LIFE op 
 
 that I was ready often to cry out, O that it were 
 with me as in months paji ! O that God had taken 
 me away in the midft of my ufefulnefs, with a fud- 
 den ftroke, that I might not have been under a ne- 
 ceffity of trifling away time in diverfions ! O that 
 I had never lived to fpend fo much precious time, 
 in fo poor a manner, and to fo little purpofe ! Thus 
 I often reflected, was grieved, afhamed, and even 
 confounded, funk and difcouraged. 
 
 On Tuefday, February 24, I was able to ride as 
 far as Newark, (having been confined within Eliza- 
 beth-Town almoft four months) and the next day 
 returned to Elizabeth-Town. My fpirits were fome- 
 what refrefhed with the ride, though my body was 
 weary. 
 
 On Saturday, February 28, was vifited by an In- 
 dian, of my own congregation ; who brought me 
 letters, and good news of the fober and good be- 
 haviour of my people, in general. This refrefhed 
 my foul ; I could not but foon retire, and blefs God 
 for his goodnefs ; and found, I trufl, a truly thank- 
 ful frame of fpirit, that God feemed to be building 
 up that congregation for himfelf. 
 
 On Wednefday, March 4, 1 met with reproof from 
 a friend, which, although I thought I did not deferve 
 it from him, yet was, I trufl, bleffedof God to make 
 me more tenderly afraid of fin, more jealous over 
 myfelf, and more concerned to keep both heart and 
 life pure and unblamable- : It likewife caufed me 
 to reflect on my pari: deadnefs, and want of fpiritu- 
 ality, and to abhor myfelf, and look on myfelf moll 
 unworthy. 
 
 Wednefday, March it. — Being kept in Elizabeth- 
 Town as a day of failing and prayer, I was able to 
 attend publick worfTiip ; which was the firft time 
 I was able fo to do after December 2t. O, how 
 muchweaknefs anddiftrefs did God carry me through 
 
 in 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 257 
 
 in this fpace of time ! But having obtained help from 
 him, I yet live : O that I could live more to his glory. 
 
 Lord's Day, March 15. — Was able again to attend 
 the publick worfhip, and felt fome earneSt defires of 
 being reftored to the ministerial work : Felt, I think, 
 ibme fpiritand life to fpeak for God. 
 
 Wednefday, March 18.— Rode out with a defign to 
 vifit my people, and the next day arrived among 
 them : Was under great deje&ion in my journey. 
 
 On Friday morning, I rofe early, walked about 
 among my people, and inquired into their ftate and 
 concerns; and found an additional weight and bur- 
 den on my fpirits, upon hearing fome things difa- 
 greeable. I endeavoured to go to God with my dif~ 
 treffes, and made fome kind of lamentable com- 
 plaint ; and in a broken manner fpread my difficult- 
 ies before God ; but, notwithstanding, my mind 
 continued very gloomy. About ten o'clock, I call- 
 ed my people together, and after having explained 
 and fung a Pfalm, I prayed with them : There was 
 a considerable deal of affection among them ; I 
 doubt not, in fome inftances, that which was more 
 than merely natural. 
 
 [This was the laft interview that he ever had with 
 his people. About eleven o'clock the fame day, he 
 left them ,• and the next day, came to Elizabeth- 
 Town ; his melancholy remaining (till ; and he con- 
 tinued for a considerable time under a great degree 
 of dejection through vapoury diforders.] 
 
 Lord's Day, April 5. — It grieved me to find myfelf 
 fo inconceivably barren. My foul thirfted for grace : 
 But alas', how far was I from obtaining what I faw 
 lb exceeding excellent ! I was ready to defpaif of ever 
 being a holy creature • and yet my foul was defirous 
 of following hard after God ; but never did I fee my- 
 felf fo far from having apprehended, or being alrea- 
 dy perfect, as at this time. The Lord's fupper be- 
 
 R ins: 
 
2$ The LIFE of 
 
 ing this day adminiflered, I attended the ordinance ; 
 And though I faw in myfelf a dreadful emptinefs, 
 and want of grace, and faw myfelf as it were at an 
 infinite diftance from that purity, which is becom- 
 ing the gofpel ; yet in the fealon of communion, 
 efpecially in the time of the diftribution of the 
 bread, I enjoyed fome warmth of affection, and 
 felt a tender love to the brethren ; and, I think, to 
 the glorious Redeemer, the firfl-bom among them* 
 I endeavoured then to bring forth mine and his ene- 
 mies, and flay them before him ; and found great free- 
 dom in begging deliverance from this fpiritual death, 
 as well as in afking divine favours for my friends, and 
 congregation, and the church of Chrift in general. 
 
 Friday, April 10. — Spent the forenoon in Prefby- 
 terial bufineis,: In the afternoon rode to Elizabeth- 
 Town ; found my brother John there* : Spent fome 
 time in converfation with him ; but was extremely 
 weak and outdone, my fpirits confiderably funk, 
 and my mind dejected. 
 
 Thurjday, April 16. — Was in bitter anguifh of 
 foul, in the morning, fuch as I have fcarce ever felt, 
 with a fenfe of fin and guilt. I continued in diftrefs 
 the whole day, attempting to pray wherever I 
 went ; and indeed could not help fo doing : But 
 looked upon myfelf fo vile, I dared not look any 
 body in the face ; and was even grieved, that any 
 body mould {hew me any refpect, or at leaf!:, that 
 they mould be fo deceived as to think 1 deferved it. 
 
 Friday, April 17. — In the evening could not but 
 think that God helped me to draw near to the throne of 
 grace, though moit unworthy, and gave me a fenfe 
 of his favour ; which gave me inexprefhble fupport and 
 
 encouragement 
 
 * This brother of his had been fent for by the Correfpondents, to take rate of, 
 and inftruct Mr. Brainerd's congregation of Indians ; he being obliged by his i 11— 
 nefs to be abfent from them. And he continued to take care of them until Mr. Brai- 
 nerd's death : And finre his death, was ordained his fuccefTor in his miffion, and to 
 the charge of his congregation; which continued much to flouiiili under his pit • 
 tcral care. 
 
Mr. DAVID BR AI NERD. 239 
 
 Encouragement ; though I fcarcely dared to hope the 
 mercy was real, it appeared fo great : Yet could 
 iiot but rejoice* that ever God mould difcover his 
 reconciled face to fuch a vile finner. Shame and 
 confufion, at times, covered me ; and then hope 
 and joy and admiration of divine goodnefs gain- 
 ed the afcendant. Sometimes I could not but ad- 
 mire the divine goodnefs, that the Lord had not let 
 me fall into all the grofTeft vilefl acts of fin and 
 open fcandal, that could be thought of; and felt my- 
 felf fo neceflitated to praife God, that this was ready 
 for a little while, to fwallow up my fhameand prefT- 
 ure of f'pirit on account of my fins. 
 
 [After this his dejection and prefTure of fpirit re- 
 turned ; and he remained under it the two next days.] 
 
 Monday, April 20. — Was in a very difordered 
 ftate, and kept my bed molt of the day. I en- 
 joyed a little more comfort, than in feveralofthe 
 preceding days* This day I arrived at the age of 
 twenty nine years. 
 
 Tue/day, April i\. — I let out on my journey for 
 New-England, in order (if it might be the will of 
 God) to recover my health by riding j Travelled to 
 New- York, and there lodged. 
 
 [This proved his final departure from New-Jer- 
 f^y. He travelled flowly, and arrived among his 
 friends, at Eaft-Haddam, about the beginning of 
 May. There is very little account in his Diary of 
 the time that palled from his fetting out on this 
 journey to May 10. He fpeaks of his fometimes 
 finding his heart rejoicing in the glorious perfections 
 of God, and longing to live to him ; but complains 
 of the unfixednefs of his thoughts, and their being 
 eafily diverted from divine fubjecls, and cries out of 
 his leannefs, as teftifying againfr. him in the loudeit 
 manner. And concerning thofe diverfions he was 
 obliged. to ufe for his health, he fays, that he fome- 
 
 R % times 
 
260 The LIFE op 
 
 times found he could ufe diverfions with Jinglencfe 
 of heart, aiming at the glory of God ; but that he 
 alfo found there was a neceflity of great care and 
 watchfulnefs left he fhould lofe that fpiritual tem- 
 per of mind in his diverfions, and left they fhould 
 degenerate into what was merely felfiiTi without any 
 fupreme aim at the glory of God in them.] 
 
 Lord's Day, May 10.— [At Had-Lime.] I could 
 not but feel fome meafure of gratitude to God at 
 this time (wherein I was much exercifed) that he 
 had always difpofed me, in my miniftry, toinfifton 
 the great doctrines of regeneration, the new creature, 
 faith in Chri/l, progrejjive fanclifi cation , fupreme hve 
 to God, living entirely to the glory of God, being not 
 our own, and the like. God has helped me to fee in 
 the furcft manner, from time to time, that thefe 
 and the like doctrines, neceftarily connected with 
 them, are the only foundation of fafety and falvation 
 for perifning fmners; and that thofe divine difpofi- 
 tions, which are confonant hereto, are that holinefs 
 without which no man Jhall fee the Lord : The exercife 
 of thefe godlike tempers, wherein the foul acts in a 
 kind of concert with God, and would be and do eve- 
 ry thing that is pleafmgto God ; this, I faw, would 
 ftand by the foul in a dying hour ; for God muft, I 
 think, deny himfelf , if he cafts away his own image ■, 
 even the foul that is one in defires with himfelf. 
 
 Lord's Day, May 17.— [At Millington.] Spent the 
 forenoon at home, being unable to attend the publick 
 worfhip. At this time, God gave me fome affect- 
 ing fenfe of my own vilenefs, and the exceeding fin- 
 fulnefsof my heart; that there feemed to be nothing 
 but fin and corruption within me. Innumerable 
 evils compafted me about; my want of fpirituality 
 and holy living, my neglect of God, and living to 
 myfelf ; all the abominations of my heart and life 
 feemed to be open to my view ; and I had nothing 
 
 to 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 261 
 
 to fay, but God be merciful to me a firmer. Towards 
 noon, I faw, that the grace of God in Chrift is infi- 
 nitely free towards finners, and fuch finners as I was; 
 I alfo faw, that God is the fupreme good, that in his 
 prefence is life ; and I began to long to die, that I 
 might &? with him, in a ftate of freedom from all fin. 
 O, how a fmall glimpfe of his excellency refrefhed 
 my foul ! O, how worthy is the blefTed God to be 
 loved, adored, and delighted in, for himfelf, for his 
 own divine excellencies. 
 
 Though I felt much dulnefs, and want of a fpirit 
 of prayer, this week, yet I had fome glimpfes of the 
 excellency of divine things ; and efpecially one 
 morning, in fe.cret meditation and prayer, the excel- 
 lency and beauty of holinefs, as a likenefs to the 
 glorious God, was fo difcovered to me, that I began 
 to long earneftly to be in that world where holineis 
 dwells in perfection : And I feemed to long for this 
 perfect holinefs, not fo much for the fake of my own 
 happinefs (although I faw clearly that this was the 
 greateft, yea, the only happinefs of the foul) as that 
 I might pieafe God, Jive entirely to him, and glorify 
 him to theutmoff. ilretch of my rational powers and 
 capacities. 
 
 [On Thurfda5 r , May 28, he came from Long- 
 Meadow to Northampton ; appearing vaflly bet- 
 ter than, by his account, he had been in the winter; 
 indeed, fo well that he was able to rjde twenty five 
 miles in a day, and to walk half a mile; and ap 
 peared cheerful, and free from melancholy : Bui 
 yet, undoubtedly, at that time, in a confirmed, in- 
 curable conflimption. 
 
 I had had much opportunity, before this, of par- 
 ticular information concerning him, from many 
 that were well acquainted with him. But now I had 
 opportunity for a more full acquaintance with him 
 1 found him rem.irkably fociable, pleafant and ente r - 
 
 R 3 gaining 
 
262 The LIFE of 
 
 tainingin his converfation ; yet folid, favoury, fpir* 
 itual, and very profitable ; appearing meek, modeft, 
 and humble ; far from any ftiffnefs, morofenefs, fu- 
 perftitious demurenefs, or affected Angularity in 
 ipeech or behaviour, and feeming tonaufeate all fuch 
 things* We enjoyed not only the benefit of his con- 
 verfation, but had the comfort and advantage of 
 hearing him pray in the family, from time to time. 
 His manner of praying was very agreeable ; moft 
 becoming a worm of the duft, and a difciple of 
 Chrift, addrefling an infinitely great and holy God, 
 and Father of mercies ; not with florid expreffions, 
 or a ftudied eloquence ; not with any intemperate 
 vehemence, or indecent boldnefs ; at the greater! 
 diftance from any appearance of orientation, and 
 from every thing that might look as though he meant 
 to recommend himfelf to thofe that were about him, 
 or fet himfelf off to their acceptance ; free too from 
 vain repetitions, without impertinent excurfions, or 
 needlefs multiplying of words. He expreffed him- 
 felf with the ftricteft propriety, with weight, and 
 pungency ; and yet what his lips uttered feemed to 
 flow from the fulnefs of his heart, as deeply impreif- 
 ed with a great and folemn fenfe of our neceffities, 
 imworthinefs, and dependence, and of God's infinite 
 greatnefs, excellency, and fufficiency, rather than 
 merely from a warm and fruitful brain, pouring out 
 good expreffions. And I know not, that ever I 
 heard him fo much as afk ableffing or return thanks 
 at table, but there was fomething remarkable to be 
 obferved, both in the matter and manner of 
 performance. In his prayers he infifted much 
 on the profperity of Zion, the advancement of 
 ChrifVs kingdom in the world, and the flourishing 
 and propagation of religion among the Indians, 
 And he generally made, it one petition in his prayer, 
 that we might not outlive our ufefulncfs .] 
 
 Lord** 
 
Mr. DA VID BR AINE RD. 265 
 
 Lord's. Day, May 31. —[At Northampton.] I 
 had little inward fvveetnefs in religion, for moil: of 
 trie week paft ; not realizing and beholding fpiritu- 
 ally the glory of God, and the blelTed Redeemer; from 
 whence always arife my comforts and joys in relig- 
 ion, if I have any at all : And if I cannot fo behold 
 the excellencies and perfections of God, as to caufe 
 me to rejoice in him for what he is in himfelf, I 
 have no folid foundation for joy. To rejoice only 
 becaufe I apprehend I have an interefl in Chrift, 
 and fhall be finally favcd, is a poor mean bufinefs 
 indeed. 
 
 [This week, he confulted doctor Mather, at my 
 houfe, concerning his illnefs ; who plainly told him, 
 that there were great evidences of his being in a con- 
 firmed confumption, and that he could givehim no 
 encouragement, that he mould ever recover. But it 
 feemed not tooccaiion theleaft difcompofure in him, 
 nor to make any manner of alteration as to the cheer- 
 fulnefs and ferenity of his mind, or the freedom or 
 pleafantnefs of his converfation.] 
 
 Lord's Day, ^June"j. — My attention was greatly 
 engaged, and my foul fo drawn forth, this day, by 
 what I heard of the exceeding precioufnefs of the 
 faving grace of God's Spirit, that it almofl over, 
 came my body in my weak ftate : I faw that true 
 grace is exceeding precious indeed ; that it is very 
 rare ; and there is but a very fmali degree of it, 
 even where the reality of it is to be found ; at lead, 
 I faw this to be my cafe. 
 
 In the preceding week I enjoyed fome comforta- 
 ble feafons of meditation. One morning the caufe 
 of God appeared exceeding precious to me: The 
 Redeemer's kingdom is all thatis valuable in thecarth„ 
 and I could not but long for the promotion o^ it in 
 the world : I faw alio that this caufe is God's, that 
 he has an infinitely greater regard and concern for 
 
 &4 it, 
 
264 The LIFE of 
 
 it, than I could poflibly have ; that if I have any 
 true love to this bleffed interest, it is only a drop de- 
 rived from that ocean. Hence, I was ready to lift 
 up my head with joy; and conclude, well, if God's 
 caufe be fo dear and precious to him, he will pro- 
 mote it. And thus I did as it were reft on God, 
 that finely he would promote that which was io 
 agreeable to his own will ; though the time when 
 muft fUll be left to his fovereign pleafure. 
 
 [He was advifed by phyficians frill to continue 
 Tiding, as what would tend, above any other means, 
 to prolong his life. He was at a lofs for fome time, 
 which way to bend his courfe next j but finally de- 
 termined to ride from hence to Bofton ; we having 
 concluded that one of this family mould go with 
 him, and be helpful tohim in his weak and low ftate.] 
 
 Tuefday, June 9. — I fet out on a Journey from 
 Northampton to Bofton : Travelled ilowly, and 
 got fome acquaintance with divers minifters on the 
 road. 
 
 I having now continued to ride for fome confider- 
 able time together, felt myfelf much better than I had 
 formerly done ; and I found that in proportion tQ 
 the profpect I had of being reftored to a ftate of ufe- 
 iulnefs, fo I defired the continuance of life : But 
 death appeared inconceivably more defirable to me, 
 than a ufelefs life ; yet, blefTed be God, I found my 
 heart, at times, fully refigned and reconciled to this 
 greateft of afflictions, if God faw lit thus to deal 
 with me. 
 
 Friday, 'June \1; — I arrived in Bofton this day, 
 fomewhat fatigued with my journey. Obferved, 
 that there is no reft but in God : Fatigues of body, 
 and anxieties of mind attend us, both in town and 
 country ; no place is exempted. 
 
 Lord's Day, June 14. — 1 enjoyed fome enlarge- 
 ment and fweetnefs in family prayer, as well as in 
 
 fecret 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 265 
 
 fecret exercifes ; God appeared excellent, his ways 
 full of pleafure and peace, and all I wanted was a 
 fpirit of holy fervency, to live to him. 
 
 VVednefday ', June 17. — This and the two preced- 
 ing days, I fpent mainly in vifiting the minifters of 
 the town, and was treated with great refped: by them. 
 
 On Thurfday, June 18, I was taken exceeding ill, 
 and brought to the gates of death, by the breaking of 
 fmall ulcers in my lungs, as my phyflcianfuppofed. In 
 this extreme weak ftate I continued forTeveral weeks, 
 and was frequently reduced fo low as to be utterly 
 fpeechlefs, and not able fo much as to whifper a word ; 
 and even after I had fo far revived, as to walk about 
 houfe,and toftep out of doors, I was exercifed every- 
 day with a faint turn, which continued ufually 
 four or five hours ; at which times, though I was 
 not utterly fpeechlefs, fo but that I could fay yes 
 or no, yet I could not converfe at all, nor fpeak 
 one fentence without making flops for breath; and 
 divers times in this feafon, my friends gathered 
 round my bed, to fee me breathe my laft, which 
 they looked for every moment, as I myfelf aU 
 fo did. 
 
 How I was the firft day or two of my illnefs, with 
 regard to the exercife of reafon, I fcarcely know ; 
 but I believe I was fomething mattered with the vio- 
 lence of the fever, at times : But the third day of my 
 illnefs, and conflantly afterwards, for four or five 
 weeks together, I enjoyed as much ferenity of 
 mind and clearnefs of thought, as perhaps I ever 
 did in my life : And I think my mind never pene- 
 trated with fo- much eafe and freedom into divine 
 things, as at this time ; and I never felt fo capable 
 of demonftrating the truth of many important doc- 
 trines of the gofpelas now. And as I faw clearly the 
 truth of thofe great doctrines, which are juftly filled 
 the Doctrines of Grace ; fo I faw with no lefs 
 
 clearnefs, 
 
266 The LIFE of 
 
 clearnefs, that the effence of religion confided in the 
 foul's conformity to God, and acting above all felf- 
 ifh views, for his glory, longing to be for him, to 
 live to him, and pleafe and honour him in all things ; 
 and this from a clear view of his infinite excellency 
 and worthinefs in himfelf, to be loved, adored, wor- 
 shipped and ferved by all intelligent creatures. Thus 
 I faw, that when a foul loves God with a fupreme 
 love, he therein ads like the bleffed God himfelf, 
 who moft juftly loves himfelf in that manner : So 
 when God's intereft and his are become one, and he 
 longs that God mould be glorified, and rejoices to 
 think that he is unchangeably poffeffed of the high- 
 eft glory and bleffednefs, herein alfo he acts in con- 
 formity to God : In like manner, when the foul is 
 fully refigned to, and refts fatisfied and content- 
 ed with the divine will, here it is alfo conformed 
 to God. 
 
 I faw further, that as this divine temper, whereby 
 the foul exalts God, and treads felf in the dull, is 
 wrought in the foul by God's difcovering his own 
 glorious perfections in the face qfjefus Cbrijl to it, 
 by the fpecial influences of the Holy Spirit, fo he 
 cannot but have regard to it, as his own work ; and 
 as it is his image in the foul, he cannot but take de- 
 light in it. Then I faw again, that if God mould 
 flight and reject his own moral image, he muft needs 
 deny himfelf; which he cannot do. And thus Haw 
 theftability and infallibility of this religion, and that 
 thofe who are truly pofleffed of it, have the mod 
 complete and fatisfying evidence of their being in- 
 terefted in all the benefits of Chrift's redemption, 
 having their hearts conformed to him ; and that thefe 
 and thefe only are qualified for the employments 
 and entertainments of God's kingdom of glory ; as 
 none but thefe have any relifh for the bufinefs of 
 heaven, which is to afcribe glory to God, and not to 
 
 them (elves : 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 267 
 
 themfelves ; and that God, though I would fpeak it 
 with great reverence of his name and perfedtions, can- 
 not, without denying himfelf, finally caft fuch away. 
 
 The next thing I had then to do, was to inquire, 
 whether this was my religion : And here God was 
 pleafed to help me to the mod eafy remembrance 
 and critical review of what had palTed in courfe, of a 
 religious nature, through feveral of the latter years of 
 my life : And although I could difcover much cor- 
 ruption attending my beft duties, many felfifh views 
 and carnal ends, much fpiritual pride and felf exalt- 
 ation, and innumerable other evils which compafled 
 me about ; I fay, although I now difcerned the fins 
 of my holy things, as well as other actions, yet God 
 was pleafed, as I was reviewing, quickly to put this 
 queflion out of doubt, by mewing me, that I had, 
 from time to time, acted above the utmoft influence 
 of mere felf love ; that I had longed to pleafe and 
 glorify him, as my higheft happinefs, &c. And 
 this review was through grace attended with a pres- 
 ent feeling of the fame divine temper of mind ; I felt 
 now pleafed to think of the glory of God, and long- 
 ed for heaven as a ftate wherein I might glorify God 
 perfectly, rather than a place of happinefs for my- 
 felf : And this feeling of the love of God in my 
 heart, which I truft the Spirit of God excited in me 
 afrefh, was fufficient to give me full fatisf action, 
 and make me long, as I had many times before done, 
 to be with Chrift. I did not now want any of the 
 fudden fuggeflions, which many are fo pleafed with, 
 that Chrift and his benefits are mine, that God 
 loves me, &c. in order to give me fatisfaction about 
 my ftate. 
 
 Thefe things I faw with great clearnefs, when I 
 was thought to be dying. And God gave me great 
 concern for his church and intereft in the world, at 
 this time. 
 
 As 
 
e6B The LIFE of 
 
 As God was pleafed to afford me clearnefs of 
 thought, and compofure of mind, almoft continual- 
 ly, for feveral weeks together, under my great weak- 
 nefs ; fo he enabled me, in fome meafure, to im- 
 prove my time, as I hope, to valuable purpofes. I 
 was enabled to write a number of important letters 
 to friends in remote places : And fometimes I wrote 
 when I was fpeechlefs ; i. e. unable to maintain 
 converfation with any body ; though perhaps I Was 
 able to fpeak a word or two fo as to be heard. 
 
 [He was much vifited, while in Bofton, by many 
 perfons of considerable note and figure, and of the 
 beft character, and by fome of the firft rank : Who 
 fhewed him uncommon refpect, and appeared high- 
 ly pleafed and entertained with his converfation. And 
 befides his being honoured with the company and 
 refpecl: of minifters of the town, he was vifited by 
 feveral minifters from various parts of the coun- 
 try. And as he took all opportunities to difcourfe 
 of the peculiar nature, and diftinguifhing characters 
 of true fpiritual and vital religion, and to bear his 
 teftimony againft the various falfe appearances of it, 
 confifting in, or arifing from impreflionson the im- 
 agination, and fudden and fuppofed immediate fug- 
 geftions of truths, not contained in the fcripture, and 
 that faith which confifts primarily in a perfon's be- 
 lieving that Chrift died for him in particular, &c. 
 So what he faid was for the mod part heard with 
 uncommon attention and regard ; and his difcourfes 
 and reafonings appeared manifeftly to have great 
 weight and influence, with many that he converfed 
 with, both miniiters and others. 
 
 Mr. Brainerd's reftoration from his extremely low 
 ftate in Boflon, foas to go abroad again and to trav- 
 el, was very unexpected.' to him and his friends. My 
 daughter, who was with him, writes thus concerning 
 
 him, in a letter dated June 23. " On Thurfday, 
 
 he 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 269 
 
 he was very ill with a violent fever, and extreme pain 
 in his head and breaft, and, at turns, delirious. So 
 he remained until Saturday evening, when he Teem- 
 ed to be in the agonies of death : The family was 
 up with him until one or two o'clock, expecting ev- 
 ery hour would be his laft. On Sabbath day he was 
 a little revived, his head was better, but very full 
 of pain, and exceeding fore at his breaft, much put 
 to it for breath, See. Yefterday he was better upon 
 all accounts. Laft night he flept but little. This 
 morning he is much worfe. Doctor Pynchon fays, 
 he has no hopes of his life ; nor does he think it 
 likely he will /ever come out of the chamber ; 
 though he fays he may be able to come to North- 
 ampton/' 
 
 In another letter, dated June 29, (he fays as follows :' 
 " Mr.Brainerd has not fomuch pain nor fever, fince 
 I laft wrote, as before : Yet he is extremely weal? 
 and low, and very faint, expecting every day will 
 be his laft. He fays, it is impoflible for him to live 
 for want of life. He has hardly vigour enough to 
 draw his breath. I went this morning into town, 
 and when I came home, Mr. Bromfield faid, he 
 never expected I mould fee him alive ; for he lay 
 two hours, as they thought, dying; one could icarce- 
 ly tell, whether he was alive or not ; he was notable 
 to fpeak, for fome time : But now' is much as he 
 was before. The Doctor thinks, he will drop away 
 in fuch a turn. Mr. Brainerd fays, he never felt any 
 thing fo much like diflblution, as w 7 hat he felt today ; 
 and fays, he never had any conception of its being 
 poffible for any creature to be alive, and 3'et fo weak 
 as he is from day to day. Doctor Pynchon fays, he 
 ihould not be furprifed, if he mould fo recover as to 
 live half a year ; nor wouH it furprifc him, if he 
 mould die in half a day. Since 1 began to write, he 
 is not (o well ; having had a faint turn again : Yet 
 
 patient 
 
*7o The LIFE of 
 
 patient and refigned, having no diftrefling fears, but 
 the contrary." 
 
 His phyfician, the honourable Jofeph Pynchon, 
 Efq; when he vifited him in his extreme illnefs in 
 Bofton, attributed his finking fo fuddenly into a ftate 
 fo extremely low, and nigh unto death, to the break- 
 ing of ulcers, that had been long gathering in his 
 lungs, as Mr. Brainerd himfelf intimates in a fore- 
 mentioned pafTage in his Diary, and there difcharg- 
 ing and diffufing their purulent matter ; which, 
 while nature was labouring and ftruggling to throw 
 off, that could be done no otherwife, than by gradu- 
 al {training of it through the fmall vellels of thofe 
 vital parts. This occafioned an high fever, and vi- 
 olent coughing, and threw the whole frame of na- 
 ture into the utmoft diforder, and brought it near to 
 a diffolution : But fuppofed, if the ftrength of na- 
 ture held until the lungs had this way gradually 
 cleared themfelves of this putrid matter, he might 
 revive, and continue better, until new ulcers gather- 
 ed and broke ; but then would furely link again ; 
 and that there was no hope of his recovery ; but, as 
 he exprefled himfelf to one of my neighbours, who 
 at that time faw him in Bofton, he was as certainly 
 a dead man, as if he was fliot through the heart. 
 
 But fo it was ordered in divine Providence, that 
 the ftrength of nature held out through this great 
 conflict, fo as juft to efcape the grave at that turn ; 
 and then he revived, to the aftoniihment of all that 
 knew his cafe. 
 
 After he began to revive he was vifited by his 
 youngeft brother, Mr. Ifrael Brainerd, a ftudent at 
 Yale-College ; who having heard of his extreme ill- 
 nefs, went from thence to Bofton, in order to fee him» 
 ifhe might find him alive, which he but little expected. 
 
 This vifit was attended with a mixture of joy and 
 forrow to Mr. Brainerd, He greatly rejoiced to fee 
 
 his 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 271 
 
 his brother, efpecially becaufe he had defired an op- 
 portunity of fome religious converfation with him 
 before he died. But this meeting was attended with 
 Sorrow, as his brother brought to him the Sorrowful 
 tidings of his filler Spencer's death at Haddam ; a 
 lifter, between whom and him had long fubfifted a 
 peculiarly dear affection, and much intimacy in Spir- 
 itual matters, and whole houfe he ufed to make his 
 home, when he went to Haddam, his native place. 
 He bad heard nothing of her fickneSs until this re- 
 port of her death. But he had thefe comforts, to- 
 gether with the tidings, viz. a confidence of her be- 
 ing gone to heaven, and an expectation of his foon 
 meeting her there. His brother continued with him 
 until he left the town, and came with him from 
 thence. to Northampton. 
 
 Concerning the laff. Sabbath Mr. Brainerd fpent 
 in Bolton, he writes in his Diary as follows.] 
 
 Lord's Day, July 19. — I was juft able to attend 
 publick worfhip, being carried to the houfe of God 
 in a chaife. Heard Dr. Sewall preach, in the fore- 
 noon : Partook of the Lord's fupper at this time. 
 In this Sacrament,! Saw aftonifhing divine wifdom dis- 
 played j fuch wifdom as I law required the tongues 
 of angels and glorified faints to celebrate : It feemed 
 to me, I never mould do any thing at adoring the 
 infinite wifdom of God difcovered in the contrivance 
 of man's redemption, until I arrived at a world of 
 perfection ; yet I could not help Striving to call upon 
 my foul and all within me to blefs the name of God. In 
 the afternoon, heard Mr. Prince preach. I faw more 
 of God in the wifdom difcovered in the plan of man's 
 redemption, than I faw of any other of his perfec- 
 tions, through the whole day. 
 
 [He left Boiton the next day. But before he 
 came away, he hadoccafion to bear a very full, plain, 
 and open testimony againit that opinion, that theel- 
 
 Sence 
 
272 The LIFE of 
 
 fence of faving faith lies in believing that Chrift di- 
 ed for me in particular, and that this is the firft act 
 of faith in a true believer's clofing with Chrift. He 
 did it in a long conference he had with a gentleman, 
 that has very publickly and ftrenuoufly appeared to 
 defend that tenet. He had this difcourfe with him 
 in the prefence of a number of considerable perfons, 
 who came to vifit Mr. Brainerd before he left the 
 town, and to take their leave of him. In which de- 
 bate he made this plain declaration, at the fame time 
 confirming what he faid by many arguments, That 
 the effence of faving faith was wholly left out of that 
 definition of faving faith which that gentleman has 
 publifhed ; and that the faith which he had defined, 
 had nothing of God in it, nothing above nature, nor 
 indeed above the power of the devils ; and that all 
 fuch as had this faith, and had no better, though 
 they might have this to never fo high a degree, 
 would finely perifh. And he declared alfo, that he 
 never had greater afiurance of the falfenefs of the 
 principles of thofe that maintained fuch a faith 3 and 
 of their dangerous and deftructive tendency, or a 
 more affecting fenfe of the great delufion and mife- 
 ry of thofe that depended on getting to heaven by 
 fuch a faith, while they had no better, than he late- 
 ly had when he was fuppofed to be at the point' to 
 die, and expected every minute to pafs into eternity. 
 Mr. Brainerd y s difcourfe at this time, and the forci- 
 ble reafonings by which he confirmed what he af- 
 ferted, appeared to be greatly to the fatis faction of 
 thofe prefent ; as feveral of them took occafion ex- 
 prefsly to manifeft to him, before they took leave of 
 him. 
 
 When this converfation was ended, having bid 
 an affectionate farewell to his friends, he fet out in 
 the cool of the afternoon, on his journey to North- 
 ampton, attended by his brother, and my daughter 
 
 that 
 
Mr. DAVID BRA INERD. 273 
 
 that went with him to Bofton ; and would have 
 been accompanied out of the town by a number of 
 gentlemen, belides that honourable perfon who gave 
 him his company for fome miles on that occafion, 
 as a teftimony of their efteem and refpect, had not his 
 averiion to any thing of pomp and mew prevent- 
 ed it.] 
 
 Saturday, 'July 25.— I arrived here at Northamp- 
 ton j having let out from Bofton on Monday, about* 
 four o'clock P. M. In this journey, I rode about 
 fixteen miles a day, one day with another. I was 
 fometimes extremely tired and faint on the road, fo 
 that it feemed impoffible for me to proceed any fur- 
 ther i At other times I was considerably better, and 
 felt fome freedom both of body and mind. 
 
 Lord's Day, July 26. — This day I faw clearly, that 
 I mould never be happy ; yea, that God himfelf 
 could not make me happy, unlefs I could be in a ca- 
 pacity topleafe and glorify him forever: Take away 
 this, and admit me into all the fine heavens that can 
 be conceived of by men or angels, and I mould ftili 
 be miferable forever. 
 
 [Though he had fo far revived, as to be able to 
 travel thus far, yet he manifefted no expectation of 
 recovery : He fuppofed, as his phyfician did, that 
 his being brought fo near to death at Bofton, was 
 o\ving to the breaking of ulcers in his lungs : He 
 told me, that he had had feverai fuchill turns before, 
 only not to fo high a degree, but as he fuppofed, 
 owing to the fame caufe, viz. the breaking of ulcers % 
 and that he was brought lower and lower every time ; 
 and it appeared to him, that in his lad llcknefs, in 
 Bofton, he was brought as low as it was poflible and 
 yet live ; and that he had not the leaft expectation 
 of furviving the next return of this breaking of ul- 
 cers : But ftill appeared perfectly calm in the prof* 
 peel of death, 
 
 S On 
 
274 The LIFE of 
 
 On Wednefday morning, the week after he came* 
 to Northampton, he took leave of his brother Ifrael, 
 as never expecting to fee him again in this world * 
 he now fetting out from hence on his journey to- 
 New-Haven. 
 
 When Mr. Brainerd came hither, he had fo much 
 ftrength as to be able, from day to day, to ride out 
 two or three miles, and to return - 3 and fometimes to 
 pray in the family ; but from this time he gradual- 
 ly, but fenfibly, decayed, and became weaker and 
 weaker. 
 
 While he was here his converfation from firit. to* 
 laft was much on the fame fubjects as it had been 
 when in Bolton : He was much in fpeaking of the 
 nature of true religion of heart and practice, as dif- 
 tinguifhed from its various counterfeits ; expreffing 
 his great concern, that the latter did fo much pre- 
 vail in many places. He often manifefled his great 
 abhorrence of all fuch doctrines and principles in re- 
 ligion, as in any wife favoured of, and had any though 
 but a remote, tendency toAntinomianifm ; of all fuch 
 notions, as feemed to diminiih the neceflity of holi- 
 nefs of life, or to abate men*s regard to the com- 
 mands of God, and a ftrict, diligent, and univerfal 
 practice of virtue and piety, under a pretence of de- 
 preciating our works, and magnifying God's free 
 grace. He fpake often, with much deteftation, of 
 fuch experiences and pretended difcoveries and joys, 
 as have nothing of the nature of fanctification in 
 them, and do not tend to Itrictnefs, tendernefs, and 
 diligence in religion, and meeknefs and benevolence 
 towards mankind, and an humble behaviour : And 
 he alfo declared, that he looked on fuch pretended 
 humility as worthy of no regard, that was not man- 
 ifefled by modefty of conduct and converfation. He 
 fpake often, with abhorrence, of the fpirit and prac- 
 tice that appears among the greater part of feparatifts 
 
 at 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 3*75 
 
 at this day in the land, particularly thofe in the eaft- 
 ern parts of Connecticut ; in their condemning and 
 fep'arating from the Handing miniftry and churches, 
 their crying down learning, and a learned miniftry, 
 their notion of an immediate call to the work of the 
 miniftry, and the forwardnefs of laymen to fet up 
 themfelves as publick teachers. He had been much 
 converfant in the eaftem part of Connecticut, his 
 native place being near to it, when the fame princi- 
 ples, notions and fpirit began to operate, which have 
 fince prevailed to a greater height ; and had ac- 
 quaintance with fome of thofe perfons who are be- 
 come heads and leaders of the feparatifts ; he had. 
 alfo been converfant with perfons of the fame way 
 clfewhere : And I heard him fay, once and again, he 
 knew by his acquaintance with this fort of people, 
 that what was chiefly and molt generally in repute 
 among them as the power of godlinefs, was an en- 
 tirely different thing from that true vital piety rec- 
 ommended in the fcriptures, and had nothing in it 
 of that nature. He manifeited a great diflike of a 
 difpofition in perfons to much noife and (how in re- 
 ligion, and affecting to be abundant in proclaiming 
 and publifhing their own experiences : Though at 
 the fame time he did not condemn, but approved of 
 chriitians* fpeaking of their own experiences on fome 
 occafion^, and to fome perfons, with due modelty 
 and difcretion. 
 
 After he came hither, as long as he lived, he was 
 much in fpeaking of that future profperity of Zion, 
 that is fo often foretold and promifed in the fcrip- 
 ture : It was a theme he delighted to dwell upon 5 
 and his mind feemed to be carried forth with earneft 
 concern about it, and intenfe deflres, that religion 
 might fpeedily and abundantly revive and flourifh 5 
 though lie had not the lead expectation of recovery ; 
 yea, the nearer death advanced, and the more the 
 S 7, fymptoms 
 
276 The LIFE of 
 
 fymptoms of its approach increafed, ftill the more 
 did his mind feem to be taken up with this fubject. 
 He told me, when near his end, that " he never in 
 all his life, had his mind fo led forth in defires and 
 earneft prayers for the flourifhing of Chrift's king- 
 dom on earth, as fince he was brought fo exceeding 
 low at Bolton." He feemed much to wonder, that 
 there appeared no more of a difpofition in minifters 
 and people to pray for the flourifhing of religion 
 through the world ; that fo little a part of their 
 prayers was generally taken up about it in their fam- 
 ilies, and elfewhere ; and particularly, he feveral 
 times exprelTed his wonder, that there appeared no 
 more forwardnefs to comply with the propofal late- 
 ly made, in a memorial from a number of minifters 
 in Scotland, and fent over into America, for united 
 extraordinary prayer, among Chrift's minifters and 
 people, for the coming of Chrift's kingdom : And 
 he fent it as his dying advice to his own congrega- 
 tion that they mould practife agreeably to that pro- 
 pofal*. 
 
 Though he was conftantly exceeding weak, yet 
 there appeared in him a continual care well to im- 
 prove time, and fill it up with fomething that might 
 be profitable, and in fome refpect for the glory of 
 God or the good of men ; either profitable conver- 
 fation, or writing letters to abfent friends, or noting 
 fomething in his Diary, or looking over bis former 
 writings, correcting them, and preparing them to 
 be left in the hands of others at his death, or giving 
 fome directions concerning a future conducting and 
 management of his people, or employment in fecret 
 devotions. He feemed never to be eafy, however 
 
 ill, 
 
 * His congregation, fincc this, have with great chcerfulnefs and unanimity fallen 
 in with this advice, and have prafti fed agreeably lo the propofal from Scotland ; and 
 have at times, appeared with uncommon engagednefs and fervency of fpiril in their 
 meetings and united devotions, purfuant to that propofal : Alfo the Prefbyteiies of 
 New-York, and New-Brunfwick, fince this, have with one confent, fallen in with 
 the propofal, as likewife fome others of God's people in thofe parts 
 
Mr. D AVID BR AI NERD. 277 
 
 ill, if he was not doing fomething for God, or in 
 his fervice. 
 
 After he came hither, he wrote a preface to a Di- 
 ary of the famous Mr. Shepard's, having been much 
 urged to it by thofe gentlemen in Bofton, who had 
 the care of the publication : Which Diary, with his 
 preface, has lince been publifhed, 
 
 In his Diary for Lord's Day, Auguft 9, he fpeaks 
 of longing defires after death, through a fenfe of the 
 excellency of a ftate of perfection. 
 
 In his Diary for Lord's Day, Auguft 16, he 
 fpeaks of his having io much refrefhment of foul in 
 the houfe of God, that it feemed to refrelh his body. 
 And this is not only noted in his Diary, but was 
 very obfervable to others ; it was very apparent, not 
 only, that his mind was exhilarated with inward 
 confolation, but alfo that his animal fpirits and bod- 
 ily ftrength feemed to be remarkably reitored, as 
 though he had forgot his illnefs. But this was the 
 3aft time that ever he attended publick worfhip on 
 the Sabbath. 
 
 On Tuefday morning that week, I being abfent on 
 a journey, he prayed with my family ; but not with- 
 out much difficulty, for want of bodily ftrength z 
 And this was the lafl family prayer that ever he 
 made. 
 
 He had been wont, until now, frequently to ride 
 out, two or three miles : But this week, on Thurs- 
 day, was the laft time he ever did fo.] 
 
 Lord's Day, Auguft 23.— This morning I was 
 considerably refreihed with the thought, yea, the 
 hope and expectation of the enlargement of Chrift's 
 kingdom ; and I could not but hope, the time was 
 at hand, when Babylon the great would fall, and 
 rife no more : This led me to fome fpiritual medi- 
 tations, that were very refrefhing tome. I was un- 
 able to attend publick worfhip either part of the 
 
 S 3 day ; 
 
278 The LIFE of 
 
 day ; but God was pleafed to afford me fixednefs 
 and fatisfaction in divine thoughts. Nothing fo re- 
 frefhes my foul, as when I can go to God, yea, 
 to God my exceeding joy. When he is fo, fenfi- 
 bly, to my foul, O, how unfpeakably delightful is 
 this ! 
 
 In the week pafl, I had divers turns of inward re- 
 frefhing ; though my body was inexprefiibly weak, 
 followed continually with agues and fevers. Some- 
 times my foul centered in God, as my only portion ; 
 and I felt that I mould be forever unhappy, if he 
 did not reign : I faw the fweetnefs and happinefs of 
 being his fubjecl:, at his difpofal : This made all my 
 difficulties quickly vanifh. 
 
 From this Lord's Day, viz. Auguft 23, I was 
 troubled very much with vapoury diforders, and 
 could neither write nor read, and could fcarcely live; 
 although, through mercy, was not fo muchopprefT- 
 ed with heavy melancholy and gloominefs, as at 
 many other times. 
 
 [Until this week he had been wont to lodge in a 
 room above flairs ; but he now grew fo weak, that 
 he was no longer able to go up flairs and down ; 
 Friday Auguft 28, was the lafl time he ever went 
 above flairs ; henceforward he betook himfelf to a 
 lower room. 
 
 On Wednefday, September 2, being the day of 
 our publick lecture, he feemed to be refreshed with 
 feeing the neighbouring miniflers that came hitherto 
 the lecture, and exprefTed a great defire once more 
 to go to the houfe of God on that day ,• And accord- 
 ingly rode to the meeting, and attended divine fer- 
 vice, while the Rev. Mr. Woodbridge of Hatfield 
 preached. He fignified that he fuppofed it to be 
 the lafl time that ever he fhould attend the publick 
 worfhip ; as it proved. And indeed it was the laft 
 time that ever he went out at our gate alive. 
 
 On. 
 
Mr. DAVID BRA I NERD. 279 
 
 On the Saturday evening next following, he was un- 
 expectedly vifited by his brother, Mr. JohnBrainerd, 
 who came to fee him from New-Jerfey. He was 
 much refrefhed by this unexpected vifit, this broth- 
 er being peculiarly dear to him ; and he feemed to 
 rejoice in a devout and folemn manner, to fee him, 
 and to hear the comfortable tidings he brought con- 
 cerning the ftate of his dear congregation of chrif- 
 tian Indians : And a circumftance of this vifit, that 
 he was exceeding glad of, was, that his brother 
 brought him fome of his private writings from New- 
 Jerfey, and particularly his Diary that he had kept 
 for many years pad.] 
 
 Lord's Day, September 6. — I began to read fome 
 of my private writings, which my brother brought 
 me ; and was confiderably refrefhed, with what I 
 met with in them. 
 
 Monday, September"]. — I proceeded farther in read- 
 ing my old private writings, and found they had the 
 fame effect upon me as before : I could not but re- 
 joice and blefs God for what paffed long ago, which 
 without writing had been entirely loft. 
 
 This evening, when I was in great d iftre fs of body, 
 my foul longed that God mould be glorified : I faw 
 there was no heaven but this. I could not but fpeak 
 to the byftanders then of the only happinefs, viz. 
 pleafing God. O that I could forever live to God ! 
 The day 1 fruit, is at hand, the perfect day : O, the 
 day of deliverance from all fin ! 
 
 Lord's Day, September 13. — I was much refreshed 
 and engaged in meditation and writing, and found a 
 heart to act for God. My fpirits were refrefhed, 
 and my foul delighted to do fomething for God. 
 
 [On the evening following that Lord's Day, his 
 feet began to appear fenfibly fwelled ; which thence- 
 forward fwelled more and more. A fymptom of 
 his diffolution coming on. 
 
 S 4 The 
 
280 TheLIFEof 
 
 The next day, his brother John left him, being 
 obliged to return to New-Jerfey on fome bufinefs of 
 great importance and neceility ; intending to return 
 again with all poflible fpeed, hoping to fee his 
 brother yet once more in the land of the living. 
 
 On the Thurfday of this week, September 17, 
 was the lafr, time that ever he went out of his lodg- 
 ing room. That day, he was again vifited by his 
 brother Ifrael, who continued with him thencefor- 
 ward until his death. On that evening, he was tak- 
 en with fomething of a diarrhoea ; which he looked 
 upon as another fign of his approaching death : 
 Whereupon he expreiTed himfelf thus ; O, the glo- 
 rious time is now coming ! I have longed to ferve 
 God perfectly : Now God will gratify thofe defires ! 
 And from time to time, at the feveral fteps and new 
 fymptoms of the fenfible approach of his diffolu- 
 tion,hc was fo far from being funk or damped, that 
 hefeemed to be animated, and made more cheerful ; 
 as being glad at the appearances of death's ap- 
 proach. He often ufed the epithet, glorious, when 
 fpeaking of the day of his death, calling it that glo- 
 rious day. And as he faw his dilTolution gradually 
 approaching, he was much in talking about it, with 
 perfect calmnefs fpeaking of a future Hate ; and al- 
 io fettling all his affairs, very particularly and mi- 
 nutely giving directions concerning what he would 
 have done in one refpec~l and another after he. was 
 dead. And the nearer death approached, the more 
 defirous he feemed to be of it. He feveral times 
 fpake of the different kinds of wiliingnefs to die ; 
 and fpoke of it as an ignoble, mean kind of wiliing- 
 nefs to die, to be willing to leave the body, only to 
 get rid of pain -, or to go to heaven only to get hon- 
 our and advancement there.] 
 
 Saturday, September 19. — Near night, while I at- 
 tempted to walk a little, my thoughts turned thus 5 
 
 How 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 281 
 
 How infinitely fweet it is, to love God, and be all 
 for him ! Upon which it was fuggefted to me, You 
 are not an angel, not lively and active. To Which 
 my whole foul immediately replied, I as fincerely 
 defire to love and glorify God, as any angel in heav- 
 en. Upon which it was fuggefted again, But you are 
 filthy, not fit for heaven. Hereupon ifaft ap- 
 
 peared the bleiTed robes of Chrilt's righteouk.. 
 which I could not but exult and triumph in ; and I 
 viewed the infit, .ellency of God, and my foul 
 
 even broke wit; longiags, that God mould be glori- 
 fied. I thought of dignity in heaven ; but inftantly 
 the thought returned, I do not go to heaven to get 
 honour, but to give all poflible glory and praife. O, 
 how I longed that God mould be glorified on earth 
 alio ! O, I was made for eternity, if God might be 
 glorified ! Bodily pains I cared not for : Though I 
 was then in extremity, I never felt eafier ; I felt wil- 
 ling to glorify God in that ftate of bodily diftrefs, as 
 long as he pleafed I mould continue in it. The 
 grave appeared really fweet, and I longed to lodge 
 my weary bones in it : But O that God might be 
 glorified ! This was the burden of ail my cry. O I 
 knew I fliould be active as an angel, in heaven ; and 
 that I mould be Gripped of my filthy garments ! So 
 that there was no objection. But O, to love and 
 praife God more, to pleafe him forever ! This my 
 foul panted after, and even now pants for while I 
 write. O that God might be glorified in the whole 
 earth. Lord, let thy kingdo??i come. I longed for a 
 fpirit of preaching to delcend and reft on minifters, 
 that they might addrefs the confidences of men with 
 clofenefs and power. I faw God had the refidue of 
 the fpirit; and my foul longed it mould be poured 
 from on high. 1 could not but plead with God for 
 my dear congregation, that he would preferve 
 it, and not fuffer his great name to lofe its glory in 
 
 that 
 
£$z T h e L I F E o f 
 
 that work : My foul frill longing, that God might be 
 glorified. 
 
 [The extraordinary frame that he was in, that 
 evening, could not be hid ; his mouth /pake out of the 
 abundance of his heart : , expreffing in a very affecting 
 manner much the fame things as are written in his 
 Diary : And among very many other extraordinary 
 expreflions, which he then uttered, were fuch as 
 thefe ; My heaven is topleafe God, and glorify him, 
 and give all to him, and to be wholly devoted to his 
 glory ; that is the heaven I long for ; that is my re- 
 ligion, and that is my happinefs ; and always was, 
 ever fince I fuppofe I had any true religion ; and all 
 thofe that are of that religion, fhall meet me in heav- 
 en. I do not go to heaven to be advanced, but to 
 give honour to God. It is no matter where I thai! 
 be Rationed in heaven, whether I have a high or a 
 low feat there ; but to love and pleafe and glorify 
 God is all : Had I a thoufand fouls, if they were 
 worth any thing, I would give them all to God ; 
 but I have nothing to give, when all is done. It is 
 impoffible for any rational creature to be happy 
 without acting all for God : God himfelf could not 
 make him happy any other way. I long to be in 
 heaven, praifing and glorifying God with the holy 
 angels : All my defire is to glorify God. My heart 
 goes out to the burying place ; it feenis to me a de- 
 lirable place : But O to glorify God ; that is it ; 
 that is above all. It is a great comfort to me, to 
 think that I have done a little for God in the world : 
 O ! it is but a very fmall matter ; yet I have done a 
 little ; and I lament it, that I have not done more for 
 him. There is nothing in the world worth living 
 for, but doing good, and finifhing God's work, do- 
 ing the work that Chrift did. I fee nothing eKc in 
 the world, that can yield any fatisfaction, befides liv- 
 ing to God, pleafing him, and doing his whole will. 
 
 My • 
 
Mr, DAVID BRAINERD. 283 
 
 My greateft joy and comfort has been, to do fome- 
 thing for promoting the interefl of religion, and the 
 fouls of particular perfons : And now in my illnefs, 
 while I am full of pain and diflrefs from day to day, 
 all the comfort I have, is in being able to do fome 
 little char, orfmall piece of work for God, either by 
 fomething that I fay, or by writing, or fome other 
 way. 
 
 He intermingled with thefe and other like expref- 
 fions, many pathetical counfels to thofe that were 
 about him ; particularly to my children and 
 fervants. He applied himfelf to fome of my young- 
 er children at this time ; calling them to him, and 
 Ipeaking to them one by one; letting before them, 
 in a very plain manner, the nature and efTence of 
 true piety, and its great importance and neceflity ; 
 earneflly warning them not to reft in any thing fliort 
 of that true and thorough change of heart, and a life 
 devoted to God ; counfelling them not to be flack 
 in the great bufinefs of religion, nor in the lead to 
 delay it ; enforcing his counfels with this, that his 
 words were the words of a dying man : Said he, I 
 fhall die here, and here I fhall be buried, and here 
 you will fee my grave, and do you remember what 
 I have faid to you. I am going into eternity : And it 
 is fweet to me to think of eternity; theendleffnefsof it 
 makes it fweet : But O, what fhall 1 fay to the eter- 
 nity of the wicked ! I cannot mention it, nor think 
 of it: The thought is too dreadful. When you fee 
 my grave, then remember what I fiid to you while 
 I was alive ; then think with yourfelf, how that 
 man, that lies in that grave, counfelled and warn- 
 ed me to prepare for death. 
 
 His body feemed to be marvelloufly ftrengtherted, 
 through the inward vigour and refrefhment of his 
 mind; fo that, although before he was fo weak that 
 he could hardly utter a fentence, yet now he contin- 
 ued 
 
284 The LIFE of 
 
 ued his moft affecting and profitable difcourfe to ut 
 for more than an hour, with fcarce any intermiffion ; 
 and faid of it, when he had done, it was the laft 
 fermon that ever he mould preach. 
 
 This extraordinary frame of mind continued the 
 next day ; of which he fays in his Dairy as fol- 
 lows.] 
 
 Lord's Day, September 2o. — Was (till in a fweet and 
 comfortable frame ; and was again melted with de- 
 fires that God might be glorified, and with longings 
 to love and live to him. Longed for the influences 
 of the Divine Spirit to defcend on minifters, in a fpe- 
 cial manner. And O, I longed to be with God, to 
 behold his glory, and to bow in his prefence. 
 
 [It appears by what is noted in his Diary, both of 
 this day, and the evening preceding, that his mind 
 at this time was much impreffed with a fenfe of the 
 importance of the work of the miniftry, and the 
 need of the grace of God, and his fpecial fpiritual 
 aiiiftance in this work : And it alio appeared in 
 what he expreiTed in converfation ; particularly in 
 his difcourfe to his brother Ifrael, who was then a 
 member of Yale-College at New-Haven, and had 
 been profecuting his ftudies and academical exercifes 
 there, to that end, that he might be fitted for the 
 work of the miniftry, and was now with him*. He 
 now, and from time to time, in this his dying ftate, 
 recommended to his brother, a life of felf denial, of 
 weanednefs from the world, and devotednefs to God, 
 and an earneft endeavour to obtain much of the 
 grace of God's Spirit, and God's gracious influences 
 on his heart ; reprefenting the great need which 
 minifters (land in of them, and the unfpeakable ben- 
 efit of them from his own experience. Among ma- 
 ny 
 
 * This young gentlman was an ingenious, ferious, ftudious, and hopefully truly 
 pious perfon : There appeared in him many qualities giving hope of his being a 
 great blefling in his day. ' But it has pleafed God, fince the death of h;s brcrtl 
 take him away alfo. He died that winter; at New-Haven, on Jan. 6, 17 ;. 
 nervous fever, after about a fortnight's ilhiefs. 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAIN E R D. 285 
 
 ny other expreffions, he faid thus ; When minifters 
 feel thefe fpecial gracious influences on their hearts, 
 it wonderfully affifts them to come at the con- 
 fciences of men, and as it were to handle them with 
 hands ; whereas, without them, whatever rea- 
 fon and oratory we make ufe of, we do but make ufe 
 of flumps, inftead of hands." 
 
 Monday, September 21 . — I began to correct a little 
 volume of my private writings : God, I believe, re- 
 markably helped me in it ; my ftrength was fur- 
 priflngly lengthened out, and my thoughts quick 
 and lively, and my foul refrefhed, hoping it might 
 be a work for God. O, how good, how fweet 
 it is, to labour for God ! 
 
 Titefday, September 22. — Was again employed in 
 reading and correcting, and had the fame fuccefs, as 
 the day before. I was exceeding weak ; but it 
 feemed to refrefh my foul, thus to fpend time. 
 
 Wednefday, September 23. — I rlnimed my correc- 
 tions of the little piece forernentioned, and felt un- 
 commonly peaceful : It feemed as if I had now done 
 all my work in this world, and flood ready for my 
 call to a better. As long as I fee any thing to be 
 done for God, life is worth having : But O, how 
 vain and unworthy it is, to live for any lower end ! 
 This day I indited a letter, I think, of great impor- 
 tance, to the Rev. Mr. Byram in New-Jerfey : O 
 that God would, blefs and fucceed that letter, which 
 was written for the benefit of his church* I O that 
 God would purify the Jons of Levi, that his glory 
 may be advanced ! This night, I endured a dread- 
 ful turn, wherein my life was expected fcarce an 
 hour or minute together. But bleffed be God, I 
 have enjoyed confiderable fvveetnefs in divine things, 
 this week, both by night and day. 
 
 Tburfday, 
 
 * It was concerning the qualifications of m-inifters, and the examination and liceni". 
 tag of candidates for the wsik-of the miniftry. 
 
286 TheLIFE of 
 
 Tburfday, September 24. — My ftrength began to 
 fail exceedingly ; which looked further as if I had 
 done all my work : However, 1 had fhength to fold 
 and fuperfcribe my letter. About two I went to bed, 
 being weak and much diiordered, and lay in a burn- 
 ing fever until night, without any proper reft. In 
 the evening I got up, having lain down in fome of 
 my clothes ; but was in the greateft diftrefs, that 
 ever I endured, having an uncommon kind of hic- 
 cough ; which either ftrangled me, or threw me in- 
 to, a {training to vomit ; and at the fame time was 
 diftreffed with griping pains. O, the diftrefs of 
 this evening ! I had little expectation of my living 
 the night through, nor indeed had any about me : 
 And I longed for the finifhing moment ! I was oblig- 
 ed to repair to bed by fix o'clock ; and through 
 mercy enjoyed fome reft ; but was grievoufly dif- 
 treffed at turns with the hiccough. My foul breath- 
 ed after God, while the watcher was with me : 
 When fhall I come to God, even to God, my ex- 
 ceeding joy ? O for this bleffed likenefs ! 
 
 Friday, September 25. — ffhis day, I was unfpeak- 
 ably weak, and little better than fpeechlefs all the 
 day : However, I was able to write a little, and felt 
 comfortably in fome part of the day. O, it refrefh- 
 ed my foul, to think of former things, of defires to 
 glorify God, of the pleafures of living to him ! O 
 my dear God, I am fpeedily coming to thee, I hope ! 
 Haften the day, O Lord, if it be thy bleffed will : O 
 come, Lord^jefus, come quickly. Amen.* 
 
 Saturday, September 26. — I felt the fweetnefs of 
 divine things, this forenoon ; and had the confola- 
 tion of a confeioufnefs that I was doing fomething 
 for God . 
 
 Lord's 
 
 * This was the hfl that ever he wrote in his Diary with his own hand : 
 Though it is continued a little farther, in a broken manner; written by his brother. 
 Ifrael, but indited by his mouth m this his weak a,nd dying ilatc, 
 
Mr. DAVID B R A I N E R D. tfj 
 
 Lord's Bay, September 27.— This was a very com- 
 fortable day to my foul ; I think, I awoke w»ith 
 God. I was enabled to lift up my foul to God, ear- 
 ly this morning ; and while I had little bodily 
 flrength, I found freedom to lift up my heart to 
 God for myfelfand others. Afterwards, was pleaf- 
 ed with the thoughts of fpeedily entering into the 
 unfeen world. 
 
 [Early this morning, as one of the family came 
 into the room, he expreffed himfelf thus : I have 
 had more pleafure this morning, than all the drunk- 
 ards in the world enjoy ; if it were all extracted !• 
 So much did he efteem the joy of faith above the 
 pleafures of fin. 
 
 He felt, that morning, an ufual appetite to food, with 
 which his mind feemed to be exhilarated, as looking 
 on it a fign of the very near approach of death ; and 
 faid upon it, I was born on a Sabbath day ; and I 
 have reafon to think I was new born on a Sabbath 
 day ; and I hope I mall die on this Sabbath day : I 
 mould look upon it as a favour, if it may be the 
 will of God that it mould be fo : I long for the 
 time. O, why is his chariot fo long in coming f 
 V/hy tarry the wheels of his chariots P I am very- 
 willing to part with all : I am willing to part with 
 my dear brother John, and never to fee him again, 
 to go to be forever with the Lord*. O, when I go 
 there, how will God's dear church on earth be up- 
 on my mind ! 
 
 Afterwards, the fame morning, being afked how 
 he did, he anfvvered, I am almoft in eternity ; I long 
 to be there. My work is done ; I have done with 
 all my friends ; all the world is nothing to me ; I 
 
 long 
 
 ♦He. had, before this, expreffed a defire, if it might be the will of God, to live 
 until his brother returned from New-Jerfey : Who, when he went away, intended, 
 if poihble, to perform his journey and return in a fortnight ; hoping once more to 
 weet his brother in the land of the living. The fortuight was now near expired, 
 it aided the sext day. 
 
The LIFE of 
 
 long To be in heaven, praifing and glorifying God 
 witti the holy angels : All my defire is to glorify God. 
 
 y During the whole of thefe laft two weeks of his 
 life he feemed to continue in this frame of heart, 
 loofe from all the world, as having done his work, 
 and done with all things here below, having nothing 
 to do but'to.die, and abiding in an earneft defire 
 and expectation of the happy moment, when his 
 foul mould take its lifght, and go to a ftate of per- 
 fe&ion of holinefs, and perfect glorifying and en- 
 joying God, manifefted. in- a-*fariety of expreffions. 
 He faid, f'haithe confi deration of the day of death, 
 and the .day of judgment, had a long time been pe- 
 culiarly fweet to him. He from time to time fpake 
 of his being willing to leave the body and the world 
 immediately, that day, that night, and that moment, 
 if it was the will of God. He alfo was much in ex- 
 preffing his longings that the church of Chrift on 
 earth might flourifh, and Chrift's kingdom here 
 might be advanced, notwithstanding he was about 
 to leave the earth, and ftitfnld not with his eyes be- 
 hold the defirable event, nor be inftru mental in pro- 
 moting it. He faid to me, one morning as I came 
 into the room, my thoughts have been employed on 
 the old dear theme, the profperity of God's church 
 on earth. Asl waked out of fleep, I was led to cry 
 for the pouring out of God's fpirit, and the advance- 
 ment of Chrift's kingdom, which the dear Redeem- 
 erdid and fuffered fo much for. It is this that efpecial- 
 
 ' 3y makes me long for it. He exprefted much hope 
 that a glorious advancement of Chrift's kingdom 
 was near at hand. 
 
 He once told me, that he had formerly longed for 
 the outpouring of the fpirit of God, and the glori- 
 ous times of the church, and hoped they were com- 
 ing ; and mould have been willing to have lived to 
 promote religion at that time, if that had been the 
 
 will 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD.' 289 
 
 will of God j but, fays lie, I am willing it fyould 
 be as it is ; I would not have the choice to make 
 for myfelf for ten thoufand worlds. He exprefled, 
 on his death bed, a full perfuafion, that he mould 
 in heaven fee the profperity of the church on earth, 
 and mould rejoice with Chrift therein j and the con- 
 sideration of it feemed to be highly plealing and 
 fatisfying to his mind. 
 
 He alfo ftill dwelt much on the great importance of 
 the work of miniftersof the go (pel ; and exprefled his 
 longings, that they might be filled with the fpirit 
 of God j and manifefted much defire to fee fome of 
 the neighbouring minifters, whom he had fome 
 acquaintance with, and whofe fincere friendmip he 
 was confident of, that he might converfe freely with 
 them on that fubjedt, before he died. And it fo 
 happened, that he had opportunity with fome of 
 them according to his defire. 
 
 Another thing that lay much on his heart, and 
 that he fpake of, from -time to time, in thefe near 
 approaches of death, was the fpiritual profperity of 
 his own congregation of chriftian Indians in New- 
 Jerfey : And when he fpake of them, it was with 
 peculiar tendernefs j fo that his fpeech would be 
 prefently interrupted and drowned with tears. 
 
 He alfo exprefled much Satisfaction in the dif- 
 pofals of Providence, with regard to the circum- 
 stances of his death ; particularly that God had 
 before his death given him the opportunity he had 
 had in Boflon, with fo many coniiderable perfons,. 
 minifters and others, to give in his teflimony for God, 
 and againit falfe religion, and many mistakes that 
 lead to it and promote it ; and there to lay before 
 pious and charitable gentlemen, the Slate of the In- 
 dians and their neceflities, to fo good effect ; and that 
 God had Since given him opportunity to write to them 
 further concerning thefe affairs : and to write other 
 
 T letters 
 
290 The LIFE of 
 
 letters of importance, that he hoped might be o£ 
 good influence with regard to the ilate of religion 
 among the Indians, and elfewhere, after his death. 
 He expreffed great thankfulnefs to God for his mer- 
 cy in thefe things. He alfo mentioned it as what he 
 accounted a merciful circumftance of his death, that 
 he mould die here. And fpeaking of thefe things, 
 he faid, God had granted him all his defire ; and 
 Signified, that now he could with the greater alacrity 
 leave the world.] 
 
 Monday, September 28. — I was able to read, and 
 make ibme few corrections in my private writings ; 
 but found I could not write, as I had done ; I found 
 myfelf fenfibly declined in all refpe&s. It has been 
 only from a little while before noon, until about one 
 or two o'clock, that I have been able to do any- 
 thing, for fome time paft : Yet this refrefhed my 
 heart, that I could do any thing, either publick or 
 private, that I hoped was for God. 
 
 [This evening he was fuppofed to be dying : He 
 thought fo himfelf, and was thought fo by thofe 
 who were about him. He feemed glad at the ap- 
 pearance of the near approach of death. He was 
 almoft fpeechlefs, but his lips appeared to move j 
 and one that fat very near him, heard him utter fuch 
 cxpreflions as thefe, Come, Lord "J ef us, come quickly, 
 O, why is his chariot Jo long in coming f After he 
 revived, he blamed himfelf for having been too ea- 
 ger to be gone. And in exprefling what he found 
 in the frame of his mind at that time, he faid, he 
 then found an inexpreffibly fweet love to thofe that 
 he looked upon as belonging to Chriff, beyond al- 
 moft all that ever he felt before ; fo that it feemed, 
 to ufe his own words, like a little piece of heaven 
 to have one of them near him. And being afked 
 whether he heard the prayer that was, at his defire, 
 roade with him; he faid, yes, he heard every word, 
 
 And v 
 
Mr. DAVID BR A I NERD. 29* 
 
 and had an uncommon fenfe of the things that were 
 uttered in that prayer, and that every word reached 
 his heart. 
 
 On the evening of the next day, viz. Tuefday^ 
 September 29, as he lay in his bed, he feemed to be 
 in an extraordinary frame ; his mind greatly engag- 
 ed in fvveet meditations concerning the profperity 
 of Zion : There being prefent here at that time two 
 young gentlemen of his acquaintance, that were 
 candidates for the miniftry, he defired us all to unite 
 in finging a Pfalm on that fubject, even Zion's 
 profperity. And on his defire we fung a part of 
 the ciid Pfalm. This feemed much to refreih and 
 revive him, and gave him new ffcrength ; fo that, 
 though before he could fcarcely fpeak at all, now he 
 proceeded, with f'ome freedom of fpeech, to give 
 his dying counfels to thole two young gentlemen 
 forementioned, relating to their preparation for, and 
 profecution of that great work of the miniftry they 
 were defigned for ; and in particular, earneltly recom- 
 mending to them frequent fecret failing and prayer : 
 And enforced his counfel with regard to this, from 
 his own experience of the great comfort and benefit 
 of it; which, laid he, I mould not mention, were 
 it not that I am a dying perlbn. And after he had 
 imifhed his counfel, he made a prayer, in the audi- 
 ence of us all j wherein, befides praying for this 
 family, for his brethren, and thofe candidates for 
 the miniftry, and for his own congregation, he earn- 
 estly prayed for the reviving and flouriihing of re- 
 ligion in the world. 
 
 Until now he had every day fat up part of the 
 day ; bur after this he never role from his bed.] 
 
 IVednefduy, September 30. — I was obliged to keep 
 my bed the whole day, through wcaknefs. However, 
 redeemed a little time, and with the help of my 
 brother, read and corrected about a dozen pages if* 
 my M.S, giving an account of my converfiori, 
 
 T 3 ThurSday, 
 
292 The LIFE of 
 
 Thurfday, October i . — I endeavoured again to do 
 fomething by way of writing, but foon found my 
 powers of body and mind utterly fail. Felt not fo 
 fweetly as when I was able to do fomething that I 
 hoped would do fome good, In the evening, was 
 difcompofed and wholly delirious ; but it was not 
 long before God was pleafed to give me fome fleep, 
 and fully compofed my mind*. O, blefTed be 
 God for his great goodnefs to me, fince 1 was fo 
 low at Mr. Bromfield's, on Thurfday, June 18 laft 
 pail. He has, except thofe few minutes, given me 
 the clear exercife of my reafon, and enabled me to 
 labour much for him, in things both of a publick 
 and private nature ; and, perhaps, to do more good 
 than I mould have done if I had been well ; befides 
 the comfortable influences of his blefTed Spirit, with 
 which he has been pleafed to refrefh my foul. May 
 his name have all the glory forever and ever. Amen» 
 
 Friday, Otlober 2. — My foul was this day, at 
 turns, fweetly fet on God : I longed to be with him, 
 that I might behold his glory. I felt fweetly dif- 
 pofed to commit all to him, even my deareft friends, 
 my deareft flock, and my abfent brother, and all my 
 concerns for time and eternity. O that his king- 
 dom might come in the world ; that they might all 
 love and glorify him, for what he is in himfelf ; and 
 that the blefTed Redeemer might fee of the travail of 
 his foul and be fitisfied* Q, come, Lord ^efus, come 
 quickly. Amen*f. 
 
 [The next evening we very much expected his 
 brother John from New-Jerfey ; it being about a 
 week after the time that he propofed for his return, 
 when he went away. And though our expectations 
 
 were 
 
 * From this time forward, he had the free ufe of his reafon until the day before 
 his death ; excepting that at fome times he appeared a little loil for a moment, at 
 firlt waking out of lieep. 
 
 + Here ends his Diary : Thefe are the laft woids that are written in it, either by 
 &3 own, jaspdj or by aoy o(b:t from his mouth, 
 
Mr. DAVID BRA I NERD. 293 
 
 were Hill difappointed, yet Mr. Brainerd feemed to 
 continue unmoved, in the fame calm and peaceful 
 frame, that he had before manifested ; as having re- 
 signed all to God, and having done with his friends, 
 and with all things below. 
 
 On the morning of the next day, being Lord's 
 Day, October 4, as my daughter Jerulha, who chief- 
 ly tended him, came into the -room, he looked on 
 her very pleafantly, and faid, D^ear Jerulha, are you 
 willing to partowith me? I am quite willing to 
 part with you : I am willing to part with all my 
 friends : I am willing to part with my dear brother 
 John, although I love him the befl of any creature 
 living : I have committed him and all my friends 
 to God, and can leave them with God. Though if 
 I thought I fliould not fee you, and be happy with 
 you in another world, I could not bear to part with 
 you. But we fhall fpend an happy eternity together ! 
 
 In the evening, as one came into the room 
 with a Bible in her hand, he expreffed himfelf thus ; 
 O, that dear book ! that lovely book i I fhall foort 
 fee it opened ! The myfteries that are in it, and the 
 myfteries of God's providence, will be all unfolded ? 
 
 His diftemper now very apparently preyed on 
 his vitals in an extraordinary manner : Not by a 
 fudden breaking of ulcers in his lungs, as at Bofton, 
 but by a constant difcharge of purulent matter, in 
 great quantities : So that what he brought up by 
 expectoration, feemed to be as it were mouthfuls of 
 a! mod clear pus ; which was attended with very 
 great inward pain and diftreis. 
 
 On Tuelday, October 6, he lay for 2. considerable 
 time, as if he were dying. At which time, he was 
 heard to utter, in broken whifpers, fuch expreilions 
 as thefe : He will come, he will not tarry. I fhall 
 foon be in glory. 1 fhall foon glorify God with 
 the angels. But after fome time he revived. 
 
 T. 3 The 
 
S94 The LIFE of 
 
 The next day, viz. Wednefday, October 7, his 
 brother John arrived, being returned from New- 
 Jerfey ; where he had been detained much longer 
 than he intended, by a mortal ficknefs prevailing 
 among the chriilian Indians, and by fome other 
 things in their circumftances that made his ftay 
 with them neceflary. Mr. Brainerd was affected 
 and refremed with feing him, and appeared fully 
 fatisfied with the feafons of his delay ; feeing the 
 intereft of religion and of the fouls of his people re- 
 quired it. 
 
 The next day, Thurfday, October 8, he was in 
 great diftrefs and agonies of body ; and for the big- 
 ger part of the day, was much difordered as to the 
 exercife of his reafon. In the evening he was more 
 compofed, and had the ufe of his reafon well ; but 
 the pain of his body continued and increafed. He 
 told me it was impoflible for any to conceive of the 
 diftrefs he felt in his breaft. He manifefted much 
 concern left he fhould dimonour God, by impatience 
 under his extreme agony ; which was fuch, that he 
 faid, the thought of enduring it one minute longer 
 was almofr. infupportable. He defired that others 
 would be much in lifting up their hearts continual- 
 ly to God for him, that God would fupport him, 
 and give him patience. He fignified that he ex- 
 pected to die that night ; but feemed to fear a long- 
 er delay : And the difpofition of his mind with re- 
 gard to death appeared ftill the fame that it had 
 been all along. And notwithstanding his bodily 
 agonies, yet the interefl: of Zion lay fHll with great 
 weight on his mind; as appeared by fome confider- 
 able difcourfe he had that evening with the Rev. 
 Mr. Billing, one of the neighbouring minifters, who 
 was then prefent, concerning the great importance 
 of the work of the miniftry, &c. And afterwards, 
 when it was very late in the night, he had much 
 
 very 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 295 
 
 very proper and profitable difcourfe with his brother 
 John, concerning his congregation in New-Jerfey, 
 and the intereft of religion among the Indians. In 
 the latter part of the night, his bodily diftrefs feem- 
 ed to rife to a greater height than ever ; and he faid 
 to thofe then about him, that it was another thing 
 to die, than people imagined ; explaining him- 
 felf to mean that they were not aware what bodily 
 pain and anguifh is undergone before death. To-- 
 wards day, his eyes fixed ; and he continued lying 
 immoveable, until about fix o'clock in the morning, 
 and then expired, on Friday, October 9, 1747, when 
 his foul, as we may well conclude, was received by 
 his dear Lord and Maffer, as an eminently faithful 
 fervant, into that ftate of perfection of holinefs, and 
 fruition of God, which he had fo often and fo ar- 
 dently longed for ; and was welcomed by the glo- 
 rious aiTembly of the upper world, as one peculiarly 
 fitted to join them in their bleifed employments 
 and enjoyments. 
 
 Much refpect was fhewn to his memory at his 
 funeral ; which was on the Monday following, af- 
 ter a fermon preached the fame* day, on that folemn 
 occafion. His funeral was attended by eight of the 
 neighbouring minifters, and feventeen other gentle- 
 men of liberal education, and a great concourfe of 
 people.] 
 
 T 4 Some 
 
zg6 The LIFE op 
 
 Some further REMAINS of the Rev. Mr, DA- 
 VID BR AINERD. 
 
 Some Signs of Godliness. 
 
 The diflinguifhing Marks of a true Christian, 
 taken from one of my old Manufcripts ; where I 
 wrote as I felt and experienced, and not from any 
 confideraMe degree of dottrinal knowledge or ac- 
 quaintance with the fentiments of others in this 
 point, 
 
 I. "|_JE has a true knowledge of the glory and ex- 
 JLJL cellency of God, that he is mod worthy to 
 be loved and praifed for his own divine perfec- 
 tions. Pfal. cxlv. 3. 
 
 2. God is his portion. Pfal.lxxiii. 25. And God's 
 glory, his great concern. Matth. vi. 22. 
 
 3. Holinefs is his delight ; nothing he fo much 
 longs for, as to be holy, as God is holy. Phil. 
 jii. 9—12. 
 
 4. Sin is his greateft enemy. This he hates for 
 its own nature, for what it is in itfelf, being con- 
 trary to a holy God. Jer. ii. 1. And confequently 
 he hates all fin. Rom. vii. 24. 1 John iii. 9. 
 
 5. The laws of God alfo are his delight. Pfal. 
 cxix. 97. Rom. vii. 22. Thefe he obferves, not 
 out of conftraint, from a fervile fear of hell ; but 
 they are his choice. Pfal. cxix. 30. The ftrict 
 obfervance of them is not his bondage, but his great-' 
 eft liberty . Verfe 45. 
 
 LETTERS. 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 29? 
 
 LETTERS, written by Mr. BRAINERD to 
 his FRIENDS. 
 
 To bis Brother John, at Tale-College in New-Haven* 
 
 Kaunaumeek, December 27, 1743. 
 
 Dear Brother, 
 
 LONG to fee you, and know how you fare iri 
 your journey throug-h a world of inexpreflible for- 
 row, where we are compaffed about with vanity, 
 confufion and vexation of fpirit. I am more weary 
 oflife, I think, than ever I was. The whole world 
 appears to me like a huge vacuum, a vaft empty 
 fpace, whence nothing defirable, or at lean: fatisfac- 
 tory, can poffibly be derived ; and I long daily to 
 die more and more to it ; even though I obtain not 
 that comfort from fpiritual things, which I earneft- 
 ly defire. Worldly pleafures, fuch as flow from 
 greatnefs, riches, honours, and fenfual gratifications, 
 are infinitely worfe than none. May the Lord de- 
 liver us more and more from thefe vanities. I have 
 fpent moil of the fall and winter hitherto in a very 
 weak frate of body ; and fometimes under prefling 
 inward trials and fpiritual conflicts : But having ob- 
 tained help from God t I continue to this day ; and am 
 now fomething better in health, than I was fometime 
 ago. I find nothing more conducive to a life of 
 chriftianity, than a diligent, induftrious, and faith- 
 ful improvement of precious time. Let us then 
 faithfully perform that bufinefs, which is allotted to 
 us by Divine Providence, to the utmoft of our bodi- 
 ly ftrength, and mental vigour. Why mould we 
 link, and grow difcouraged, with any particular tri- 
 als, and perplexities, we are called to encounter in 
 the world ? Death and eternity arejuft before us ,• a 
 
 few 
 
i(jo T h e L I F E o f 
 
 few tofiing billows more will waft us into the world 
 of fpirits, and, we hope, through infinite grace, into 
 endlefs pleafures, and uninterrupted reft and peace. 
 Let us then run with patience, the race fet before 
 us. Heb. xii. i. 2. And O that we could de- 
 pend more upon the living God, and lefs upon our 
 own wifdom and ftrength. Dear brother, may the 
 God of all grace comfort your heart, and fucceed your 
 ftudies, and make you an inflrument of good to his 
 people in your day. This is the conftant prayer of 
 Your affectionate brother, 
 
 DAVID BRAINERD. 
 
 To his Brother Israel, at H add am. 
 
 Kaunaumeek, January 21, 1743,4 
 
 My dear Brother, 
 
 -THERE is but one thing, that deferves 
 
 our higheft care and moft ardent defires ; and 
 that is, that we may anfwer the great end, for 
 w r hich we were made ; viz. to glorify that God, 
 who has given us our beings and all our comforts, 
 and to do all the good we poilibly can, to our fellow 
 men, while we live in the world : And verily life is 
 not worth the having, if it be not improved for this 
 noble end and purpofe. Yet, alas, how little is this 
 thought of among mankind ! Mod men feem to 
 live to themfelves, without much regard to the glo r 
 ry of God, or the good of their fellow creatures ; 
 they earneftly defire, and eagerly purfue after the 
 riches, the honours, and the pleafures of life, as i-f 
 they really fuppofed, that wealth, or greatnefs, or 
 merriment, could make their immortal fouls happy. 
 But alas, what falfe and delufive dreams are tbeie ! 
 And how miferable will thole ere long be, who are 
 not awaked out of them, to fee that all their happi- 
 
 nels 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 299 
 
 nefs conflfts in living to God, and becoming holy as 
 he is holy ! O, may you never fall into the tempers 
 and vanities, the fenfuality and folly of the prefent 
 world. You are, by Divine Providence, left as it 
 were alone in a wide world, to act for yourfelf : Be 
 fare then to remember, it is a world of temptation. 
 You have no earthly parents to be the means of 
 forming your youth to piety and virtue, by their pi- 
 ous examples, and feafonable counfels ; Let this 
 then excite you with greater diligence and fervency 
 to look up to the Father of Mercies for grace and ai- 
 iiitance againft all the vanities of the world. And 
 if you would glorify God, aniwer his juft expecta- 
 tions from you, and make your own foul happy in 
 this and the coming world, obferve thefe few direc- 
 tions ; though not from a father, yet from a broth- 
 er who is touched with a tender concern for your 
 prefent and future happinefs. And, 
 
 Firjl % Refolve upon, and daily endeavour to prac- 
 tife a life of ferioufnefs, and itridt fobriety. The 
 wife man will tell you the great advantage of fuch a 
 life, Ecclef. vii- 3. Think of the life of Chrift ; and 
 when you can find that he was pleafed with jelling and 
 vain merriment, then you may indulge it in yourfelf. 
 
 Again, Be careful to make a good improvement of 
 precious time. When you ceafe from labour, fill 
 up your time in reading, meditation, and prayer : 
 And while your hands are labouring, let your heart 
 be employed, as much as poilible, in divine thoughts. 
 
 Further, Take heed that you faithfully periorm 
 the bufinefs you have to do in the world, from a re- 
 gard to the commands of God ; and not from an 
 ambitious defire of being eiteemed better than oth- 
 ers. We mould always look upon ourfelves as God's 
 fen/ants, placed in God's world, to do his work ; 
 and accordingly labour faithfully for him ; not with 
 a defign to grow rich and great, but to glorify God„ 
 and do all the good we poflibJy can. 
 
§00 The LIFE op 
 
 Again, Never expect any fatisfaction or happi, 
 nefs from the world. If you hope for happinefs in 
 the world, hope for it from God, and not from the 
 ■world. Do not think you mall be more happy, if 
 you live to fuch or fuch a ftate of life, if you live 
 to be for yonrfelf, to be fettled in the world, or if 
 you mould gain an eftate in it : But look upon it 
 that you fhall then be happy, when you can be con- 
 stantly employed for God, and not for yourfelf ; 
 and defire to live in this world, only to do and fut- 
 fer what God allots to you. When you can be of 
 the fpirit and temper of angels, who are willing to 
 come down into this lower world, to perform what 
 God commands them, though their deiires are heav- 
 enly, and not in the leaft fet on earthly things, then 
 you will be of that temper that you ought to have. 
 Coloff. iii. 2. 
 
 Once more ', Never think that you can live to God 
 by your own power or ftrength ; but always look 
 to and rely on him for aiTiftance, yea, for all ftrength 
 and grace. There is no greater truth, than this, 
 That we can do nothing of ourf elves ; John xv. 5. 
 and 2 Cor. iii. 5. Yet nothing but our own expe- 
 rience can effectually teach it to us. Indeed we are 
 a long time in learning, that all our itrength and fal- 
 vation is in God. This is a lite, that I think no un- 
 converted man can poffibly live ; and yet it is a life 
 that every godly foul is preiling after, in fome good 
 meafure. Let it then be your great concern, thus to 
 devote yourfelf and your all to God. * 
 
 I long to fee you, that I may fay much more to 
 you than I now can, for your benefit and welfare ; 
 but f defire to commit you to, and leave you with 
 the Father of Mercies, and God of 'all grace ; praying 
 that you may be directed fafely through an evil world, 
 to God's heavenly kingdom. 
 
 I am your affectionate loving brother, 
 
 DAVID BRAINERD. 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. $M 
 
 To a Special Friend. 
 
 The Forks of Delaware, July 31, 1744. 
 
 -CERTAINLY the greateft, thenobleft pleaf- 
 
 11 re of intelligent creatures mud refult from their ac- 
 quaintance with the bleffed God, and with their own 
 rational and immortal fouls. And O, how divinely 
 fvveet and entertaining is it, to look into our own 
 fouls, when we can find all our powers and paffions 
 united and engaged in purfuit after God, our whole 
 fouls longing and paflioriately breathing after a con- 
 formity to him, and the full enjoyment of him ! 
 Verily there are no hours pafs away with fo much 
 divine pleafure, as thole that are fpent in commun- 
 ing with God and our own hearts. O, how fweet 
 is a fpirit of devotion, a fpirit of ferioufnefs and di- 
 vine folemnity, a fpirit of gofpel fimplicity, love, 
 tendernefs ! O how deferable, and how profitable to 
 the chriftian life, is a fpirit of holy watchfulnefs, 
 and godly jealoufy over ourfelves ; when our fouls 
 are afraid of nothing fomuch as that we fliall grieve 
 and offend the bleffed God, whom at fuch times we 
 apprehend, or at leaf! hope, to be a father and friend ; 
 whom we then love and long to pleafe, rather than 
 to be happy ourfelves ; or at leaft we delight to derive 
 our happinefs from pleafing and glorifying him I 
 Surely this is a pious temper, worthy of the higheil 
 ambition and elofelt purfuit of intelligent creatures 
 and holy chrifrians. O how vaftly fuperiour is the 
 pleafure, peace, and fatisfa&ion derived from thete 
 divine frames, to that which we, alas, fometimes 
 purfue in things impertinent and trifling If Our own 
 bitter experience teaches us, that in the midji of fuch 
 laughter the heart is Jorrowfid, and there is no true 
 fatisfaction but in God. But, alas ! How (hall we 
 obtain and retain this fvveet fpirit of religion and de- 
 votion ? Let us follow the apoftle's direction, Phi!,. 
 
302 The LIFE of 
 
 ii. 12. and labour upon the encouragement he there 
 mentions, verfe 13. For it is God only can afford 
 us this favour ; and he will be fought to, and it is fit 
 we mould wait upon him for fo rich a mercy. O, 
 may the God of all grace afford us the grace and in- 
 fluences of his Divine Spirit ; and help us that we 
 may from our hearts eileem it our greateif liberty 
 and happinefs, that whether we live, we may live to 
 the Lord, or whether we die, we may die to the Lord ; 
 that in life and death we may be his. 
 
 I am in a very poor ftate of health ; I think, fcarce 
 ever poorer : But through divine goodnefs, I am not 
 difcontented under my weaknefs, and confinement 
 to this wildernefs : I blefs God for this retirement. 
 I never was more thankful for any thing, than I have 
 been of late for the neceflity I am under of felf denial 
 in many refpects. I love to be a pilgrim and Gran- 
 ger in this wildernefs : It feems moll fit for fuch a 
 poor, ignorant, worthless, defpifed creature as I. I 
 would not change my prefent million for any other 
 bufinefs in the whole world. I may tell you freely, 
 without vanity and oftentation, God has of late giv- 
 en me great freedom and fervency in prayer, when 
 I have been fo weak and feeble, my nature ieemed 
 as if it would fpeedily diffoive. I feel as if my all 
 was loft, and I was undone for this world, if the 
 poor heathen may not be converted. I feel in gen- 
 eral, different from what I did when I faw you hit ; 
 at leaft, more crucified to all the enjoyments of life. 
 It would be very refrefhing to me, to fee you here in 
 this defert j efpecially in my weak dilconfolate 
 hours : But, I think I could be content never to fee 
 you, or any of my friends again in this world, if 
 God would blefs my labours here to the conversion 
 of the poor Indians. 
 
 I have much that I could willingly communi- 
 cate to you, which I mult omit, until Providence 
 
 gives 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 303 
 
 gives us leave to fee each other. In the mean time, 
 I reft, 
 
 Your obliged friend and fervant, 
 
 DAVID BRAINERD. 
 
 To a Special Friend, a Minijler of 'the Go/pel in 
 
 The Forks of Delaware, December 24, 1744. 
 
 Rev. and dear Brother, 
 
 -I HAVE little to fay to you, about fpiritu- 
 
 al joys, and thofe blerTed refrefhments, and divine 
 confolations, with which I have been much favoured 
 in times pad : But this I can tell you, that if I gain 
 experience in no other point, yet I am fure I do in 
 this, viz. that the prefent world has nothing in it to 
 fatisfy an immortal foul ; and hence, that it is not to 
 be deli red for itfelf, but only becaufe God may be 
 feen and ferved in it : And I wifh I could be more 
 patient and willing to live in it for this end, than I 
 can ufually find myfelf to be. It is no virtue, I 
 know, to defire death, only to be freed from the mis- 
 eries of life : But I want that divine hope, which 
 you ob ferved, when I faw you lalt, was the very iln- 
 evvs of vital religion. Earth can do us no good, 
 and if there be no hope of our doing good on earth, 
 How can we deiire to live in it ? And yet we ought 
 to deiire, or at leaft to be refigned to tarry in it ; be- 
 caufe it is the will of our all wife Sovereign. But per- 
 haps thefe thoughts will appear melancholy and 
 gloomy, and confequcntly will be very undefirable 
 to you ; and therefore I forbear to. : add. I wiihyou 
 may not read them in the fame circumftances in 
 which I write them. I have a little more to do and 
 furfer in a dark difconfolate world ; and then I hope 
 to be as happy a? you are. I mould afk yxm to pray 
 
 for ' 
 
304 The LIFE of 
 
 for me, were I worth your concern. May the Lord 
 enable us both to endure hardnefs as good foldiers of 
 Jefus Chrifl ; and may we obtain mercy of God to be 
 faithful, to the death, in the discharge of our refpect- 
 ive trufts. 
 
 I am your very unworthy brother, 
 And humble fervant, 
 
 DAVID BRAINERD. 
 
 To his Brother John, at College. 
 
 Crosweeksung, in New-Jerfey, December 28, 1745* 
 
 Very dear Brother, 
 
 -I AM in one continued, perpetual, and 
 
 uninterrupted hurry; and Divine Providence throws 
 fo much upon me, that I do not fee it will ever be 
 otherwife. May I obtain mercy of God to be faithful, 
 to the death. I cannot fay, I am weary of my hur- 
 ry ; I only want flrcngth and grace to do more for 
 God, than I have ever yet done. 
 
 My dear brother, the Lord of heaven, that has carri- 
 ed me through many trials, blefs you ; blefs you for 
 time, and eternity; and fit you to do fervicefor him in 
 his church below, and to enjoy his blifsful prefence 
 in his church triumphant. My brother, the time is 
 fhort : O, let us fill it up for God : Let us count 
 the fuffe rings of this prefent time as nothing, if we 
 can but run our race, andjintjh our courfe with joy. 
 O let us ilrive to live to God. I blefs the Lord, I have 
 nothing to do with earth, but only to labour honefr- 
 ly in it for God, until I (hall accomplijh as an hire- 
 ling my day. I think 1 do not defire to live one min- 
 ute for any thing that earth can afford. O that I 
 could live for none but God, until my dying moment. 
 I am your affectionate brother, 
 
 DAVID BRAINERD. 
 
 To 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 305 
 
 To his Brother Israel, then a Student at Yale-Col- 
 lege > in New-Haven. 
 
 Elizabeth-Town* New-Jerfey, November 24, 1746. 
 
 Dear Brother, 
 I HAD determined to make you and my other 
 friends in New-England a vifit, this fall ; partly 
 from an earned: defire I had to fee you and them, 
 and partly with a view to the recovery of my health ; 
 which has, for more than three months paft, been 
 much impaired. And in order to profecute this de- 
 fign, I fet out from my own people about three 
 weeks ago, and came as far as to this place ; where, 
 my diforder greatly increafing, I have been obliged 
 to keep houie ever fence, until the day before yefter- 
 day ; at which time I was able to ride about half a 
 mile, but found myfelf much tired with the journey. 
 I have now no hopes of profecuting my journey in- 
 to New-England this winter, fuppofing my prefent 
 itate of health will by no means admit of it. Al- 
 though I am, through divine goodnefs, much better 
 than I Was fome days ago, yet I have not ftrength 
 now to Vide more than ten miles a day, if the feafon 
 were warm, and fit for me to travel in. My difor- 
 der has been attended with feveral fymptoms of a 
 confumption ; and I have been at times apprehen- 
 five, that my great change was at hand : Yet, blelTed 
 be God, I have never been affrighted ; but on die 
 contrary, at ionic times much delighted with a view 
 of its approach. O the bleilednefs of being deliv- 
 ered from the clogs of fie Hi and fenfe, from a 
 body of fin and fpiritual death ! O, the unfpeakable 
 fweetn-efs of being tranllated into a Hate of complete 
 purity and perfection! Believe me, my brother, a 
 lively view and hope of thefe things will make the 
 king of terrors himfelf appearagveeable. Dear broth- 
 
 U er* 
 
306 The LIFE o f 
 
 er, let me entreat you to keep eternity in your view, 
 and behave yourfelf as becomes one that muff, fhort- 
 ly give an account of all things done in the body. That 
 God may be your God, and prepare you for his 
 fervice here, and his kingdom of glory hereafter, is 
 thedefire and daily prayer of 
 
 Your affectionate loving brother, 
 
 DAVID BRA1NERD. 
 
 To his Brother Israel, at College ; written in the 
 time of his extreme illnefs in Boflon, a few months 
 before his death. 
 
 Boston, June 50, 1747. 
 
 My dear Brother, 
 
 IT is from the fides of eternity I novvaddrcfs you. 
 
 I am heartily forry, that I have fo little ftreng*h to 
 
 write what I long fo much to communicate tp you. 
 
 But let mc tell you, my brother, eternity is mother 
 
 thing than we ordinarily take it to be in a nealthful 
 
 itate. O how van: and boundlefs ! O how fixed 
 
 and unalterable ! O, of what infinite importance is 
 
 it, that we be prepared for eternity ! I have been 
 
 juft a dying, now for more than a week ; and all 
 
 around me have thought me fo : But in this time I 
 
 have had clear views of eternity; have feen thebleff- 
 
 ednefs of the godly, in fome meafure ; and have 
 
 longed to fhare their happy flate ; as well as been 
 
 comfortably fatisfied, that, through grace, I /hall do 
 
 fo : But O, what anguifh is railed in my mind, to 
 
 think of an eternity for thofe who are chriftlefs, for 
 
 thofe who are miftaken, and who bring their falfe 
 
 hopes to the grave with them ! The light was fa 
 
 dreadful, I could by no means bear it : My thoughts 
 
 recoiled, and 1 find, but under a more affecting fcnfc 
 
 than ever before, IVho can dwell with cverlajling 
 
 burnings ! 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD, 307 
 
 burnings ! O, methought, that I could now fee my 
 friends, that I might warn them, to fee to it, they 
 lay their foundation for eternity fure. And you my 
 dear brother, I have been particularly concerned 
 for ; and have wondered I fo much neglected con- 
 vening with you about your fpiritual ftate at our 
 Lift meeting. O, my brother, let me then befeech 
 you now to examine, whether you are indeed a new 
 creature ? Whether you have ever acted above felf ? 
 Whether the glory of God has ever been the fweet- 
 eft higheft concern with you ? Whether you have 
 ever been reconciled to all the perfections of God ? 
 In a word, whether God has been your portion, and 
 a holy conformity to him your chief delight ? If 
 you cannot anfwer positively, coniider ferioufly the 
 frequent breathings of your foul : But do not how- 
 ever put yourfelf off with a flight anfwer. If you 
 have rcafon to think you are gracelefs, O give your- 
 felf and the throne of grace no reft, until God ante 
 and fave. But if the cafe mould be otherwife, blefs 
 God for tiis« grace, and prefs after holinefs, 
 
 My foul longs, that you mould be fitted for, and 
 in due time go into the work of the rnMftry. I 
 cannot bear to think of your going into any other 
 bulinefs in life. Do not be difcouraged, becaufe you 
 fee your elder brothers in the miniitry die early, one 
 after another : I declare now lam dying, I would 
 not have fpent my life otherwife for the whole 
 world. But I mure leave this with God. 
 
 If this line mould come to your hands foon after 
 the date, I mould be almoft defirous you mould fet 
 out on a journey to me : It ma5 r be, you may fee me 
 alive ; which I mould much rejoice iff. But if you 
 cannot come, I mull commit yoii to the grace 
 of God, where you are. May he be your guide 
 and counfeilor, your faildtifier, and eternal por- 
 tion- 
 
308 The LIFE of 
 
 O my dear brother, flee flefhly lufts, and the en- 
 chanting amufements, as well as corrupt doctrines, 
 of the prcfent day ; and ftrive to live to God. 
 Take this as the laft line from 
 
 Your, affectionate dying brother, 
 
 DAVID BRAINERD. 
 
 To a young Gentleman, a Candidate for the Work of the 
 Miniflry , for whom he had a fpecialfriendjhip ; alfo 
 "written at the fame tin\e of his great illnefs and near- 
 ?iefs to death in Boflon. 
 
 Very dear Sir, 
 
 HOW amazing it is, that the living, who know 
 they muft die, mould notwithftanding put far away 
 the evil day, in a feafon of health and profperity ; 
 and live at fuch an awful diftance from a familiarity 
 with the grave, and the great concerns beyond it ! 
 And efpecially it may juftly ri,llus with furprife, that 
 any whofe minds have been divinely enlightened, to 
 behold the important things of. eternity as they are, 
 I fay, that fuch mould live in this manner. And 
 yet fir, how frequently is this the cafe ! How rare 
 are the inftances of thofe who live and act from day 
 to day, as on the verge of eternity ; ftriving to fill 
 up all their remaining moments, in the fervice, and 
 to the honour of their great M after ! We infenfibly 
 trifle away time, while we feem to have enough of 
 it ; and are fo ftrangely amufed, as in a great meaf- 
 ure to lofe a fenfe ot the holinefs and blefted qualifi- 
 cations neceffary to prepare us to be inhabitants 
 of the heavenly paradife. But O, dear fir, a dying 
 bed, if we enjoy our reafon clearly, will give anoth- 
 er view of things. I have now, for more than three 
 weeks, lain under the greateft degree of weaknefs ; 
 the greater part of the time, expeding daily and 
 
 hourly 
 
Mr. DAVID BRAINERD. 309 
 
 hourly to enter into the eternal world : Sometimes 
 have been fo far gone, as/to be wholly fpeechlefs, 
 for fome hours together. And O, of what vaft im- 
 portance has a holy fpiritual life appeared to me to 
 be in this feafonj L have long>.J to call upon all my 
 .friends, to make it their tjuiinefs to live to God; 
 and efpecially all that are defigncd for, or engaged 
 in the fervice of the fanctuary. O, clear fir, do nor 
 think it enough, to live at the rate of common chrif- 
 tians. Alas, to how little purpofe do they often 
 converfe, when they meet together ! The vifits even of 
 thofe who are called chriff ians indeed, are frequently 
 extreme barren : And confeience cannot but con- 
 demn us for the milimprovement of time, while we 
 have been converfant with them. But the way to 
 enjoy the divine prefence, and be fitted for diftin- 
 guifhing fervice for God, is to live a life of great dc~ 
 votion and cohfbinr felf dedication to him ; obferv- 
 ing the motions and dispositions 'of our own hearts, 
 whence we may learn the corruptions 'that lodge 
 there, and our conftant need of help from God for 
 the performance of the lead: duty. And O, deariir, 
 let me befeech you frequently to attend the great and 
 precious duties of fecret faffing and prayer. 
 
 I have a fecret thought, from fome things I have 
 obferved, that God may perhaps defign you for fome 
 lingular fervice in the world. O then labour to be 
 pre pared and qualified to do much for God. Read 
 Mr. Edwards* piece on the affections, again and 
 again ; and labour to diiringuiih clearly upon expe- 
 riences and affections in religion, that you may 
 make a difference between the gold and the mining 
 drofs ; I fay, labour here, as ever you would be an 
 ufeful miniiler of Chriff : For nothing has put fuch 
 a flop to the work of God in the late day as thc- 
 falfe religion, the wild affections that attended it. 
 Suffer me therefore, finally to entreat you earneflly 
 
 U 3 t? ' 
 
3io The LIFE, &c. 
 
 to giveyourfelf to prayer, to reading, and meditation 
 on divine truths : Strive to penetrate to the bottom 
 of them, and never be content with a fuperflcial 
 knowledge. By tirs means, your thoughts will 
 gradually grow weighty and judicious ; and you 
 hereby will be pofTeifed'of a valuable treafure, out of 
 which you may produce things new and old, to the 
 glory of God. 
 
 And now I commend you to the grace of God ; 
 earneftly deliring, that a plentiful portion of the Di- 
 vine Spirit may reft upon you ; that you may live to 
 God in every capacity of life, and do abundant fer- 
 vice for him in publick, if it be his will ; and that 
 you may be richly qualified for the inheritance of 
 the faints in light. 
 
 I fcarce expect to fee your face any more in the 
 body; and therefore entreat you to accept this as the 
 token of love, from 
 Your fincerely affectionate dying friend, 
 
 DAVID BRAINERD. 
 
 P. S. I am now, at the dating of this letter, con- 
 siderably recovered from what I was when i wrote 
 it ; it having lain by me fome time, for want ot an 
 opportunity of conveyance : It was written in Bol- 
 ton. I am now able to ride a little, and fo am re- 
 moved into the country : But I have no more expect- 
 ation of recovering, than when I wrote, though I 
 am a little better for the prefent ; and therefore I 
 {fill fubferibe myfelf, 
 
 Your dying friend, &c. 
 
 D. B, 
 
 A Xl 
 
 A - i 
 
3 11 
 
 A N 
 
 APPENDIX, 
 
 Containing fame REFLECTIONS W OBSERVA- 
 TIONS on the preceding Memoirs of Mr. Brai- 
 nerd. 
 
 I. W/E nave ^ lere an opportunity, as I apprehend, 
 * V in a very lively inftance, to lee the nature 
 of true religion ; and the manner of its operation, 
 when exemplified in a high degree and powerful 
 exercife. Particularly it may be worthy to be ob- 
 ferved , 
 
 i. How greatly Mr. Brainerd's religion differed 
 from that of fome pretenders to the experience of a 
 clear work of faying converiion wrought on their 
 hearts ; who, depending and living on that, fettle in 
 a cold, carelefs and carnal frame of mind, and in a 
 neglect of thorough, earneft religion, in the ilated 
 practice of it. Although his convictions and con- 
 version were in all refpects exceeding clear and very 
 remarkable ; yet how far was he from acting as 
 though he thought he had got through his work, 
 when once lie had obtained comfort, and fatisfaction 
 of his intereft in Chrilf, and title to heaven. On 
 the contrary, that work on his heart, by which he 
 was brought to this, was with him evidently but 
 the beginning of his work, his ftrft entering on the 
 great bufinefs of religion and the fervice of God, his 
 fir It letting out in his race. His work was not fin- 
 ilhed, nor his race ended, until life was ended; 
 agreeable to frequent fcripturereprefentations of the 
 chriiiian life, He continued preiimg forward in a 
 U 4 coniiant 
 
312 Reflections and Observations 
 
 conftant manner, forgetting the things that were be- 
 hind, and reaching forth towards the things that 
 were before. His pains and earneftnefs in the bufi- 
 nefs of religion were rather increafed, than dimin- 
 ished, after he had received comfort and fatisfaction 
 concerning the fafety of his ftate. Thofe divine 
 principles, which after this he was actuated by, of 
 love to God, and longings and thirftings after holi- 
 nefs, feem to be more effectual to engage him to 
 pains and activity in religion, than fear of hell had 
 been before. 
 
 And as his converfion was not the end of his work, 
 cr of the courfe of his diligence and itrivings in re- 
 ligion ; fo neither was it the end of the work of the 
 Spirit of God on his heart : But on the contrary, 
 the beginning of that work ; the beginning of his 
 fpiritual difcoveries, and holy views ; the firft dawn- 
 ing of the light, which thenceforward increafed 
 more and more ; the beginning of his holy affec- 
 tions, his forrow for fin, his love to God, his rejoic- 
 ing in (Thrift Jefus, his longings after holinefs. And 
 the powerful operations of the Spirit of God in thefe 
 things, were carried on, from the day of his conver- 
 fion, in a continued courfe, to his dying day. His 
 religious experiences, his admiration, his joy and 
 praife, and flowing affections, did not only hold up 
 to a confiderable height for a few days, weeks or 
 months, at firft, while hope and comfort were new 
 things with him ; and then gradually dwindle and 
 die away, until they came to almoft nothing, and fo 
 leave him without any fenfible or remarkable expe- 
 rience of fpiritual difcoveries, or holy and divine af- 
 fections, for months together ; as it is .with many, 
 who, after the newnefs of things is over, foon come 
 to that pafs, that it is again with them very much as 
 it ufed to be before their fuppofed converfion, with 
 refpect to any prefent views of God's glory, of 
 
 1 Chrift's 
 
On the preceding Memoirs. 313 
 
 Chrift's excellency, or of the beauty of divine things; 
 and with refpect to any prefent thirftings for God, 
 or ardent outgoings of their fouls after divine ob- 
 jects : But only now and then, they have a comfort- 
 able reflection on things they have met with in times 
 pall, and are Something affected with them j and fo 
 reft eafy, thinking all things are well ; they have 
 had a good clear work, and their ftate is fafe, and 
 they doubt not but .they mall go to heaven when 
 they die. How far otherwife was it with Mr. Brai- 
 nerd, than it is with iuch perfons ! His experiences, 
 inftead of dying away, were evidently of an increas- 
 ing nature. His firll love and other holy affections, 
 even at the beginning, were very great ; but after 
 months and years, became much greater, and more 
 remarkable ; and the Spiritual exercifes of his mind 
 continued exceeding great, though not equally fo at 
 all times, yet ufually fo, without indulged remiff- 
 nefs, and without habitual dwindling and dying 
 away, even until his deceafe. They began in a time 
 of general deadnefs all over the land, and were great- 
 ly increafed in a time of general reviving of religion. 
 And when religion decayed again, and a general 
 deadnefs returned, his experiences were ftill kept up 
 in their height, and his holy exercifes maintained in 
 their life and vigour ; and fo continued to be, in a 
 general courfe, wherever he was, and whatever his 
 circumitances were, among Englifh and Indians, in 
 company and alone, in towns and cities, and in the 
 howling wildernefs, in ficknefs and in health, living 
 and dying. This is agreeable to fcripture defcriptions 
 of true and right religion, and of the chriftian life. 
 The change that was wrought in him at hisconver- 
 fion, was agreeable to fcripture reprefentaiions of 
 that change which is wrought in true converfion ; a 
 great change, and an abiding change, rendering him 
 a new man, a new creature : Not only a change as 
 
 to 
 
314 Reflections and Observations 
 
 to hope and comfort, and an apprehenfion of his 
 own goodeftate; and a tranficnt change, coniifting 
 in high flights of paiTing affections ; but a change 
 of nature, a change of the abiding habit and temper 
 of his mind. Nor a partial change, merely in point 
 of opinion, or outward reformation ; much lefs a 
 change from one error to another, or from one fin to 
 another; but an univerlal change, both internal and 
 external ; as from corrupt and dangerous principles 
 in religion, unto the belief of the truth, fo irom both 
 the habits and ways of fin, unto univerfal holinefs of 
 heart and practice ; from the power and iervice of 
 Satan, unto God. 
 
 2. His religion did apparently and greatly differ 
 from that of many high pretenders to religion, who 
 are frequently actuated by vehement emotions of 
 mind, and are carried on in a courfe of fudden and 
 ftrong impreffions, and fuppofed high illumina- 
 tions and immediate difcovenes, and at the lame 
 time are perfons of a virulent zeal, not according to 
 
 k?7owlcd%'C, 
 
 His convictions, preceding his converfion, did 
 not arife from any frightful impreflions on his im- 
 agination, or any external images and ideas of fire 
 and bnmftone, a fword of vengeance drawn, a dark 
 pit open, devils in terrible ihapes, &c. itrongly fix- 
 ed in his mind. His light of his own finrulnefs 
 did not confift in any imagination ol a heap oi loatn- 
 fome material filthinels within him ; nor did his 
 fenfe of the hardnefs of his heart conhit in any 
 bodily feeling in his bread fomethmg hard and hea- 
 vy like a ftone, nor in any imaginations whatever or 
 fuch a nature. 
 
 His firft difcovery of God or Chrift, at his con- 
 verfion, was not any flrong idea of any external glo- 
 ry or brightnefs, or majeity and beauty of counte- 
 nance, or pleafant voice; nor was it any iuppofcd 
 
 immediate 
 
On the p receding Memoirs. 3 T 5 
 
 immediate manifeftation of God's love to him in 
 particular; nor any imagination of Chrift's fmil- 
 ing face, arms open, or words immediately fpoken 
 to him, as by name, revealing Chrift's love to him ; 
 either words of fcripture, or any other : But a man- 
 ifeftation of God's glory, and the beauty of his 
 nature, as fupremely excellent in itfelf; powerfully 
 drawing, and fweetly captivating his heart ; bring- 
 ing him to a hearty defire to exalt God, fet him on 
 the throne, and give him fupreme honour and glo- 
 ry, as the king and fovereign of the univerfe ; and 
 alio a new fenfe of the infinite wifdom, fuitablenefs 
 and excellency of the way of falvation by Chrift ; 
 powerfully engaging his whole foul to embrace this 
 way of falvation, and to delight in it. His firft: 
 faith did not confift in believing that Chrift loved 
 him, and died for him, in particular. His firft com- 
 fort was not from any fecret fuggeftion of God's 
 eternal love to him, or that God was reconciled to 
 him, or intended great mercy foT him ; by any fuch 
 texts as thefe, Son, be of good cheer, thy fins are for- 
 given thee. Fear not, I am thy God, &c. or in any 
 fuch way. On the contrary, when God's glory was 
 firft difcovered to him, it was without any thought 
 of falvation as his own. His firft experience of the 
 ian&ifying and comforting power of God's Spirit 
 did not begin in fome bodily fenfation, any pleafant 
 warm feeling in his breaft, that he, as fome others, 
 called the feeling the love of Chrift in him, and be- 
 ing full of the fpirit. How exceeding far were his 
 experiences at his firft converfion from things of 
 fuch a nature ! 
 
 And if we look through the whole feries of his 
 experiences, from his converfion to his death, we 
 fhall find none of this kind. 
 
 Mr. Braincrd's religion was not felfifh and mer- 
 cenary : His love to God was primarily and prin- 
 cipally 
 
316 Reflections and Observations 
 
 cipally for the fupreme .excellency of his own na- 
 ture, and not built on a preconceived notion that 
 God loved him, had received him into favour, 
 and had done great things for him, or promifed 
 great things to him : So his joy was joy in God, and 
 not in himfelf. We fee by his Diary how, from 
 time to time, through the courfe of his life, his foul 
 was filled with ineffable fweetnefs and comfort. 
 But what was the .fpring of this ftrong and abid- 
 ing confolation ? Not fo much the coniideration of 
 the fure grounds he had to think that his ftate was 
 good, that God had delivered him from hell, and 
 that heaven was his ; or any thoughts concerning 
 his own diftinguiihed happy and exalted circum- 
 ffances, as a high favourite of heaven : But the 
 fweet meditations and entertaining views he had of 
 divine things without himfelf; the affecting confed- 
 erations and lively ideas of God's infinite glory, his 
 unchangeable blelTednefs, his fovereignty and uni- 
 verfal dominion ; together with the fweet exercifes 
 of love to God, giving himfelf up to him, abating 
 himfelf before him, denying himfelf for him, de- 
 pending upon him, acting for his glory, diligently 
 ferving him ; and the pleafing profpects or hopes 
 he had of a future advancement of the kingdom of 
 Chrift, &c. 
 
 It appears plainly and abundantly all along, from 
 his converfion to his death, that that beauty, that 
 fort of good, which was the great object of trie new 
 fenfe of his mind, the new reliih and appetite given 
 him in converfion, and thenceforward maintained 
 and increafed in his heart, was holinefs, conformity 
 to God, living to God, and glorifying him. This 
 was what drew his heart ; this was the centre of his 
 foul ; this was the ocean to which ail the itreams 
 of his religious affections tended ; this was the object 
 that engaged his eager thirfting defires and earnef r. 
 
 purfuits : 
 
On the preceding Memoirs. 317 
 
 purfuits : He knew no true excellency or happinefs 
 but this : This was what he longed for molt, vehe- 
 mently and conftantly on earth ; and this was with 
 him the beauty and bleffednefs of heaven; which 
 made him fa much and fo often to long for that world 
 of glory ; it was to be perfectly holy, and perfectly 
 exercifed in the holy employments of heaven ; thus 
 to glorify God and enjoy him forever. 
 
 His religious illuminations, affections and com- 
 fort feemed to a great degree, to be attended with 
 evangelical humiliation ; confiding in a fenfeof his 
 own utter infufRciency, defpicablenefs and odiouf- 
 nefs ; with an anfwerable difpofition and frame of 
 heart. How deeply affected was healmoft continu- 
 ally with his great defects in religion ; with his 
 vait diftance from that fpirituality and holy frame 
 of mind that became him ; with his ignorance, 
 pride, deadnefs, unfteadinefs, barrennefs ! He was 
 not only affected with the remembrance of his 
 former finfulnefs, before his converfion, but with 
 the fenfe of his prefent vilenefs and pollution. He 
 was not only difpofed to think meanly of himfelf 
 as before God, and incomparifonof him jbutamongft 
 men, and as compared with them : He was apt to 
 think other faints better than he ; yea, to look on 
 himfelf as the meaneft and leaft of faints ; yea, very 
 often, as the vileft and worfr of mankind. And 
 notwithstanding his great attainments in fpiritual 
 knowledge, yet we find there is fcarce any thing 
 that he is more frequently affected and abated with 
 a fenfe of, than his ignorance. 
 
 How eminently did he appear .to be of a meek and 
 quiet fpirit, refembling the lamblike, . dovelike 
 fpirit of Jefus Chrilt ! How full of iove, meeknefs, 
 quietnefs, forgivcncfs and mercy ! His love was not 
 merely a fondnefs and zeal for a party, but an uni- 
 verfal benevolence; very often exercifed in the moft 
 
 fen fib le 
 
318 Reflections #/7i Observations 
 
 fenlible and ardent love to his greatefl oppofers and 
 enemies. His love and meeknefs were not a meer 
 pretence, and outward profefTion and fhew ; but 
 they were effectual things, manifefted in expenfive 
 and painful deeds of love and kindnefs ; and in a 
 meek behaviour ; readily confeffing faults under 
 the greatefl: trials, and humbling himfelf even at the 
 feet of thofe from whom he fuppofed he had fuf- 
 fered mofl ; and from time to time, very frequently 
 praying for his enemies, abhorring the thoughts of 
 bitternefs or refentment towards them. I fcarcely 
 know where to look for any parallel inflance of 
 felf denial, in thefe refpects, in the prefent age. 
 He was a perfon of great zeal ; but how did he ab- 
 hor a bitter zeal, and lament it where he faw it [ 
 And though he was once drawn into fome degrees 
 of it, by the force of prevailing example, as it were 
 in his childhood ; yet how did he go about with his 
 heart bruifed and broken in pieces for it all his life 
 after ! 
 
 Of how foft and tender a fpirit was he ! How far 
 were his experiences, hopes, and joys from a ten- 
 dency finally to flupify and harden him, to leffen 
 convictions and tendernefs of confeience, to caufe 
 him to be lefs affected with prefent and pad: fins, 
 and lefs confeientious with refpect to future fins, 
 more eafy in the neglect of duties that are trouble- 
 fome and inconvenient, more flow and partial in 
 complying with difficult commands, lefs apt to be 
 alarmed at the appearance of his own defects and 
 tranfgreflions, more eafily induced to a compliance 
 with carnal appetites ! On the contrary, how tender 
 was his confeience J How apt was his heart to fmite 
 him ! How eafily and greatly was he alarmed at 
 the appearance of moral evil ! How great and cori- 
 ffant was his jealoufy over his own heart f How 
 flrict his care and watchful neis againft fin ! How 
 
 deep 
 
O/i the preceding Memoirs. 3 1 9 
 
 deep and fenfible were the wounds that fin made in 
 his conference ! Thofe evils that are generally ac- 
 counted fmall, were almoft an infupportable burden 
 to him ; fuch as his inward deficiencies, his having 
 no more love to God, finding within himfelf any 
 ilacknefs or dulnefs in religion, any unfteadinefs, or 
 wandering frame of mind, &c. How did the con- 
 fideration of fuch things as thefe opprefs and abafe 
 him, and fill him with inward fhame and confufion ! 
 His love, and hope, though they were fuch as can: 
 out a fervile fear of hell, yet they were fuch as were 
 attended with, and abundantly cherifhed and promot- 
 ed a reverential filial fear of God, a dread of fin, and 
 of God's holy difpleafure. His joy feemed truly to 
 be a rejoicing with trembling. His afllirance and 
 comfort differed greatly from a falfe enthufiauiek 
 confidence and joy, in that it promoted and main- 
 tained mourning for fin. Holy mourning, with him, 
 was not only the work of an hour or a day, at his 
 firfl converfion ; but forrow for fin was like a wound 
 conftantly running : He was a mourner for fin all 
 his days. He did not, after he received comfort 
 and full iatisfa&ion of the forgivenefs of all his 
 fins, and the fafety of his (rate, forget his pan: fins, 
 the fins of his youth, that were committed before 
 his converfion ; but the remembrance of them, from 
 time to time, revived in his heart, with renewed 
 grief. That in Ezek. xvi. 63. was evidently ful- 
 filled in him, That thou mayejl remember, and be con- 
 founded, and never open thy month any more, becaufe 
 of thy jhame ; when I am pacified toward thee for all 
 that thou hajl done. And how laftihgly did the 
 fins that he committed after his converfion, afFcct 
 and break his heart ! If he did any thing whereby 
 he thought he had in any refpect di (honoured God, 
 and wounded the mtereft of religion, he had never 
 done with calling it to mind with forrow and bitter- 
 
 nefs ; 
 
320 Reflections <z/?i Observations 
 
 nefs; though he wasafTured that God had forgiven it, 
 yet he never forgave himfelf : His pafh forrows and 
 fears made no fatisfaction, with him ; but (till the 
 wound renews and bleeds afrefh, again and again. 
 And his prefent fins, that he daily found in him- 
 felf, were an occafion of daily fenlible and deep 
 forrow of heart. 
 
 His religious affections and joys were not like thofe 
 of fome, who have rapture and mighty emotions 
 from time to time in company ; but have very lit- 
 tle affection in retirement and fecret places. Though 
 he was of a very fociable temper, and loved the 
 company of faints, and delighted very much in re- 
 ligious converfation and in focial worfhip ; yet his 
 warmefr. affections, and their greatcft effects on ani- 
 mal nature, and his fweeteil: joys, were in his clofet 
 devotions, and folitary tranfictions between God and 
 his own foul ; as is very obfervable through his 
 whole courfe, from his converfion to his death. He 
 delighted greatly in facred retirements ; and loved 
 to get quite away from all the world, to converfe 
 with God alone, in fecret duties. 
 
 Mr. Brainerd's experiences and comforts were 
 very far from being like thofe of fome perfons, which 
 are attended with a fpiritual fatiety, and put an end 
 to their religious defires and longings, at lealf. to the 
 edge and ardency of them ; refting fatisfied in their 
 own attainments and comforts, as having obtained 
 their chief end, which is to extinguifh their fears of 
 hell, and give them confidence of the favour of God. 
 How far were his religious affections, refrefhments, 
 and fatisfactions, from fuch an operation and in- 
 fluence as this ! On the contrary, how were they 
 always attended with longings and thirftings after 
 greater degrees of conformity to God ! And the 
 greater and fweeter his comforts were, the more vehe- 
 ment were his defires after holinefs. For it is to be 
 
 obferved, 
 
On the preceding Memoirs. 321 
 
 obferved, that his longings were not So much after 
 joyful difcoveries of God's love, and clear views of 
 his title to future advancement and eternal honours 
 in heaven ; as after more of prefent holinefs, greater 
 spirituality, an heart more engaged for God, to love 
 and exalt and depend on him, an ability better to 
 ferve him, to do more for his glory, and to do all 
 that he did with more of a regard to Chi ill: as his 
 righteoufnefs and ftrength ; and after the enlarge- 
 ment and advancement of ChrifVs kingdom in the 
 earth. And his defires were not idle wiihings and 
 wouldings, but fuch as were powerful and effectual, 
 to animate him to the earned:, eager purfuit of thefe 
 things, with utmort diligence, and unfainting labour 
 and felf denial. His comforts never put an end to 
 his feeking after God, and ftriving to obtain his 
 grace ; but on the contrary, greatly engaged and en- 
 larged him therein. 
 
 His religion did not confllt only in experience, 
 without practice. All his inward illuminations, 
 affections and comforts feemed to have a direct ten- 
 dency to practice, and to iffue in it ; and this, not 
 merely a practice negatively good, free from grofs 
 acts of irreligion and immorality : But a practice 
 pofitively holy and chriftian, in a ferious, devout, 
 humble, meek, merciful, charitable, and beneficent 
 converfation ; making the fervice of God, and our 
 Lord Jefus Chrift, the great bufinefs of life, which 
 he was devoted to, and purfued with the greateft 
 sarneftnefs and diligence to the end of his days, 
 through all trials. In him was to be feen the right 
 way of being lively in religion. His livelinefs in 
 religion did not confift merely or mainly in his be- 
 ing lively with the tongue, but in deed ; not in be- 
 ing forward in profeffion and outward (hew, and 
 abundant in declaring his own experiences ; but 
 chiefly in being active and abundant in the labours 
 
 W and 
 
322 Reflections ^^Observations 
 
 and duties of religion ; not ilothful in bufinefs, but 
 fervent in fpirit, ferving the Lord, and ferving his 
 generation, according to the will of God. 
 
 It cannot be pretended, that the reafon why he fo 
 much abhorred and condemned the notions and ex- 
 periences of thofe whole flrft faith confifts in be- 
 lieving that Chrift is theirs, and that Chrift died 
 for them; without any previous experience of union 
 of heart to him, for his excellency, as he is in him- 
 felf, and not for his fuppofed love to them ; and 
 who judge of their intereft in Chrift, their justifica- 
 tion, and God's love to them, not by their fancti- 
 fication and the exercifes and fruits of grace, but by 
 a fuppofed immediate witnefs of the Spirit by in- 
 ward fuggeftion ; I fay, it cannot be pretended, that 
 the reafon why he {o much detefted and condemned 
 fuch opinions and experiences, was, that he was of 
 a too legal fpirit ; either that he never was dead to 
 the law, never experienced a thorough work of con- 
 viction, was never fully brought off from his own 
 righteoufnefs, and weaned from the old covenant, 
 by a thorough legal humiliation; or that afterwards, 
 he had no great degree of evangelical humiliation, 
 not living in a deep fenfe of his own emptinefs, 
 wretchednefs, poverty, and abfolute dependence on 
 the mere grace of God through Chrift. For his 
 convictions of fin, preceding his flrft confolations in 
 Chrift, were exceeding deep and thorough; his trou- 
 ble and exercife of mind, by a fenfe of fin and mife- 
 ry, very great and long continued ; and the light 
 let into his mind at his converfion and in progreflive 
 fanctification, appears to have had its genuine hum- 
 bling influence upon him, to have kept him low 
 in his own eyes, not confiding in himfelf, but 
 in Chrift, living by the faith of the Son of God, 
 and looking for the mercy of the Lord Jefus to eternal 
 hfe. 
 
 Noi 
 
On the preceding Memoirs. 323 
 
 Nor can it be pretended, that the reafon why he 
 condemned thofe, and other things, which this fort 
 of people call the very height of vital religion, and 
 the power of godlinefs, was, that he was a dead 
 chriitian, and lived in the dark (as they exprefs 
 themfelves) that his experiences, though they might 
 be true, were not great ; that he did not live hear to 
 God, had but a fmall acquaintance with him, and 
 had but a dim fight of fpiritual things. If any, af- 
 ter they have read the preceding account of Mr. 
 Brainerd's life, will venture to pretend thus, they 
 will only fhew that they themfelves are in the dark, 
 and do indeed put darknefs for light, and light for 
 darknefs. 
 
 II. The foregoing account of Mr. Brainerd's life 
 fnay afford matter of conviction, that there is indeed 
 fuch a thing as true experimental religion, arifing 
 from immediate divine influences, fupematurally en- 
 lightening and convincing the mind, and powerfully 
 impreiTing, quickening, fanctifying, and governing 
 the heart ; which religion is indeed an amiable 
 thing, of happy tendency, and of no hurtful cohfe- 
 quence to human fbciety ; notwithstanding there 
 having been fo many pretences and appearances 
 of what is called experimental vital religion, that 
 have proved to be nothing but vain, pernicious en- 
 thufiafm. 
 
 If any infift, that Mr. Brainerd's religion was en~ 
 thufiafm, and nothing but a fhange heat, and blind 
 fervour of mind, arifm^ from the ilrong fancies and 1 
 dreams of a notional whimfical brain j I would afk, 
 if it be fo, that fuch things as thefe are the fruits of 
 enthufiafm, viz. a great degree of honefty and fim- 
 plicity, fincere and earned: defires and endeavours 
 to know and do whatever is right, and to avoid every 
 thing that is wrong; an high degree of love to God, 
 delight in the perfections of his nature, placing the 
 
 "W % happinefs 
 
324 Reflections <j?;i Observations 
 
 happinefs of life in him ; not only in contemplating 
 him, but in being active in pleafing and ferving him ; 
 a firm and undoubting belief in the Meffiah, as the 
 faviour of the world, the great prophet of God, and 
 king of God's church ; together with great love to 
 him, delight and complacence in the way of falva- 
 tion by him, and longing for the enlargement of his 
 kingdom ; earned defires that God may be glorified, 
 and the Meffiah *s kingdom advanced, whatever in- 
 ftruments are made life of ; uncommon refignation 
 to the will of God, and that under vaft trials ; great 
 and univerfal benevolence to mankind, reaching all 
 forts of perfons without didinction, manifeded in, 
 fvveetnefs of fpeech and behaviour, kind treatment, 
 mercy, liberality, and earned feeking the good of 
 the fouls and bodies of men > attended with extraor- 
 dinary humility, meeknefs, forgivenefs of injuries, 
 and love to enemies ; and a great abhorrence of a 
 contrary fpirit and practice ; not only as appearing 
 in others, but whereinfoever it had appeared in him- 
 felf; caufing the mod bitter repentance, and bro- 
 kennefs of heart on account of any pad indances of 
 fuch a conduct. ; A moded, difcreet and decent de- 
 portment, among fuperiours, inferiours and equals - y 
 a mod diligent improvement of time, and earned 
 care to lofe no part of it ; great watchfulnefs againd 
 all forts of fin, of heart, fpeech and action: And 
 this example and thefe endeavours attended with 
 mod happy fruits, and blefled effects on others, in 
 humanizing, civilizing, and wonderfully reforming 
 and transforming fome of the mod brutiih lavages ; 
 idle, immoral, drunkards, murderers, grofs idola- 
 ters, and wizards ; bringing them to permanent fo- 
 briety, diligence, devotion, honedy, confcientiouf- 
 neis, and charity : And the foregoing amiable vir- 
 tues and fuccefsful labours all ending at lad in a 
 marvellous peace, unmovable dability, calmnefs, and 
 
 refignation, 
 
On the p receding Memoirs. 3 2 5 
 
 resignation, in the fenfible approaches of death ; with 
 longing for the heavenly ftate ; not only for the hon- 
 ours and circumftantial advantages of it, but above 
 all for the moral perfections, and holy and bleffed 
 employments of it : And thefe things in a perfon 
 indifputably of a good underftanding and judgment : 
 I fay, if all thefe things are the fruits of enthufiafm, 
 why mould not enthufiafm be thought a definable 
 and excellent thing ? For what can true religion, 
 what can the bell philofophy do more ? If vapours 
 and whimfey will bring men to the moft thorough 
 virtue, to the moil benign and fruitful morality ; 
 and will maintain it through a courfe of life, attend- 
 ed with many trials, without affectation or fell ex- 
 altation, and with an earneft conftant bearing tefti- 
 mony againft the wildnefs, the extravagances, the 
 bitter zeal, affuming behaviour, and feparatmg 
 fpirit of enthufiafts ; and will do all this more ef- 
 fectually, than any thing elfe has ever done in any 
 plain known inftance that can be produced ; if it be 
 lb, 1 fay, what caufe then has the world to prize and 
 pray for this bleffed whimficalnefs, and thefe benign 
 fort of vapours ! 
 
 III. The preceding hiftory ferves to confirm 
 thofe doctrines ufually called the doctrines of grace. 
 For if it be allowed that there is truth, fubftance, or 
 value in the main of Mr. Brainerd's religion, it will 
 undoubtedly follow, that thofe doctrines are divine : 
 Since it is evident, that the whole of it, from begin- 
 ning to end, is according to that fcheme of things ; 
 all built on thofe apprehenfion?, notions, and views, 
 that are produced and eftabiilhed in the mind by 
 thofe doctrines. He was brought by doctrines of 
 this kind to his awakening, and deep concern about 
 things of a fpiritual and eternal nature ; and by thefe 
 doctrines his convictions were maintained and car- 
 ried on ; and his converfion was evidently altogether 
 
 W 3 agreeable 
 
326 Reflections and Observations 
 
 agreeable to this Scheme, but by no means agreeing 
 with the contrary ; and utterly inconfiftent with the 
 Arminian notion of conversion or repentance. His 
 converfion was plainly founded in a clear Strong con- 
 viction, and undoubting perfuafion of the truth of 
 thole things appertaining to thefe doctrines, which 
 Arminians molt object againft, and which his own 
 mind had contended moft about. And his conver- 
 sion was no confirming and perfecting of moral 
 principles and habits, by ufe and practice, and his 
 own labour in an induftrious difciplining himfelf, 
 together with the concurring fuggeftions and confpir- 
 jng aids of God's Spirit : But entirely a fupernatural 
 work, at once turning him from darknefs to marvel- 
 lous light, and from the power of fin to the dominion 
 of divine and holy principles ; an effect, in no re- 
 gard produced by his Strength or labour, or obtain- 
 ed by his virtue ; and not accomplished until he 
 was firft brought to a full conviction that all his own 
 virtue, Strength, labours and endeavours could nev- 
 er avail any thing to the producing or procuring 
 this effect. 
 
 A very little while before, his mind was full of 
 the fame cavils againft the doctrines of God's fov- 
 ereign grace, which are made by Arminians ; and 
 his heart full even of a raging oppofition to them. 
 And God was pleafcd to perform this good work in 
 him juft after a full end had been put to this cavil- 
 ling and oppofition ; after he was entirely convinced, 
 that he was dead in fin, and was in the hands of 
 God, as the abfolutely fovereign, unobliged, Sole 
 difpofer and author of true holmefs. God's ihew- 
 ing him mercy at fuch a time, is a confirmation, 
 that this was a preparation for mercy ; and ccpfe- 
 quently, that thefe things which he was convinced 
 of, were true : While he oppofed thefe things, he 
 was the fubject of no fuch, mercy ; though he {q, 
 
 earnestly 
 
On the preceding Memoirs. 327 
 
 earneftly fought it, and prayed for it with fo much 
 painfulnefs, care and ftridtnefs in religion : But when 
 once his oppofition is fully fubdued 3 and he is brought 
 to fubmit to the truths, which he before had oppof- 
 ed, with full conviction, then the mercy he fought 
 for is granted, with abundant light, great evidence, 
 and exceeding joy, and he reaps the fweet fruits of 
 it all his life after, and in the valley of the Jloadozv of 
 death. 
 
 In his converfion, he was brought to fee the glory 
 of that way of falvation by Chrift, that is taught in 
 what are called the doctrines of grace ; and thence- 
 forward, with unfpeakable joy and complacence, to 
 embrace and acquiefce in that way of falvation. He 
 was in his converfion, in all refpe&s, brought to thofe 
 views, and that ftate of mind, which thefe doclrines 
 fhew to be neceffary. And if his converfion was any 
 real converfion, or any thing befides a mere whim, and 
 if the religion of his life was any thing elfe but a feries 
 of freaks of a whimfical mind, then this one grand 
 principle, on which depends the whole difference 
 between Calvinifts and Arminians,is undeniable, viz- 
 that the grace or virtue of truly good men, not only 
 differs from the virtue of others in degree, but even 
 in nature and kind. If ever Mr. Brainerd was truly 
 turned from fin to God at all, or ever became truly 
 religious, none can reafonably doubt but that his 
 converfion was at the time when he fuppofed it to 
 be. The change he then experienced, was evident- 
 ly the greateft moral change that ever he pafled un- 
 der ; and he was then apparently firft brought to 
 that kind of religion, that remarkable new habit and 
 temper of mind, which he held all his life after. 
 The narration ihews it to be different, in nature and 
 kind, from all that ever he was the fubject of before.^ 
 It was evidently wrought at once, without fitting 
 and preparing his mind, by gradually convincing 
 
 W4 it 
 
328 Reflections <zm/ Observations 
 
 it more and more of the fame truths, and bringing 
 it nearer and nearer to fiich a temper : For it was 
 foon after his mind had been remarkably full of 
 blafphemy, and a vehement exercife of fenfible en- 
 mity againft God, and great oppofition to thofe 
 truths, which he was now brought with his whole 
 foul to embrace, and reft in, as divine and glorious, 
 and to place his happinefs in the contemplation and 
 improvement of. And he himfelf (who was furely 
 beft able to judge) declares, that the difpofitions 
 and affections, which were then given him, and 
 thenceforward maintained in him, were mofl fenfibly 
 and certainly, perfectly different, in their nature, from 
 all that ever he was the fubject of before, or that he ever 
 had any conception of. This he ever ffood to and 
 was peremptory in (as what he certainly knew) 
 even to his death. He muft be looked upon as ca- 
 pable of judging ; he had opportunity to know : 
 He had practifed agreatdeal of religion before, was 
 exceeding ftrict and conscientious, and had continu- 
 ed fo for a long time ; had various religious affec- 
 tions, with which he often flattered himfelf, and fome- 
 times pleafed himfelf as being now in a good eftate. 
 And after he had thofe new experiences, that began in 
 his converfion, they were continued to the end of his 
 life; long enough for him thoroughly to obferve their 
 nature, and compare them with what had been before. 
 Doubtlefs he was compos mentis ; and was at Ieait 
 one of fo good an understanding and judgment, as 
 to be pretty well capable of difcerning and compar- 
 ing the things that paffed in his own mind. 
 
 It is further obfervable, that his religion all along 
 operated in fuch a manner as tended to confirm his 
 mind in the doctrines of God's abfolute fovereignty, 
 man's ur.iverfal and entire dependence on God's 
 power and grace, &c. The more his religion pre- 
 vailed in his heart, and the fuller he was of divine 
 
 love, 
 
On the preceding Memoirs. 329 
 
 love, and of clear and delightful views of fpiritual 
 things, and the more his heart was engaged in God's 
 fervice ; the more fenfible he was of the certainty 
 and the excellency and importance of thefe truths, 
 and the more he was affected with them, and rejoic- 
 ed in them. And he declares particularly, that when 
 he lay for a long while on the verge of the eternal 
 world, often expecting to be in that world in a few 
 minutes, yet at the fame time enjoying great fereni- 
 ty of mind, and clearnefs of thought, and being moft 
 apparently in a peculiar manner at a diftance from 
 an enthuliaftical frame, he at that time faw clearly 
 the truth of thofe great doctrines of the gofpel, which 
 are jultly filled the doctrines of grace, and never felt 
 himfeif ib capable of demonstrating the truth of 
 
 them. 
 
 So. that it is very evident, Mr. Brainerd's religion 
 was wholly correipondent to what is called the Cal- 
 viniftical icheme, and was the effect of thofe dop- 
 trines applied to his heart : And certainly ii cannot 
 be denied, that the effect was good, unlefs we turn 
 Atheifts, or Deifts. I would afk, whether there be 
 any fuch thing in reality, as chriftian devotion ? If 
 there be, What is it ? What is its nature ? And what 
 its juft meafure ? Should it not be in a great degree ? 
 We read abundantly in fcripture — of loving God 
 with all the heart, with all the foul, with all the 
 mind, and with all the ftrength, of delighting in 
 God, of rejoicing in the Lord, rejoicing with joy 
 unfpeakabie and full of glory, the fouPs magnifying 
 the Lord, thirfting for God, hungering and thirfiing 
 after righteoufnefs, the foul's breaking for the long- 
 ing it hath to God's judgments, praying to God 
 with groanings that cannot be uttered, mourning for 
 lin with a brokentieart and contrite fpirit, &c. How 
 full is the book of Pfalms, and other parts of fcrip- 
 ture, of fuch things as theie ! Now wherein do thefe 
 
 things, 
 
330 Reflections and Observations 
 
 things, as expreffed by, and appearing in Mr. Brai- 
 nerd, either the things themfelves, or their effects 
 and fruits, differ from the fcripture reprefentations ? 
 Thefe things he was brought to by that ftrange and 
 wonderful transformation of the man, which he call- 
 ed his converiion. And does not this well agree 
 with what is fo often raid, in Old Teftament and 
 New, concerning the giving of a new heart, creating 
 a right fpirit, a being renewed in the fpirit of the 
 mind, a being fanctified throughout, becoming a 
 new creature, &c ? Now where is there to be found 
 an Arminian converiion or repentance, confifting in 
 fo great and admirable a change ? Can the Armin- 
 ians produce an inftance, within this age, and fo 
 plainly within our reach and view, of fuch a ref- 
 ormation, fuch a transformation of a man, to fcirp- 
 tural devotion, heavenly mindednefs, and true chrif- 
 tian morality, in one that before lived without thefe 
 things, on the foot of their principles, and through 
 the influence of their doctrines ? 
 
 And here is worthy to be confidered, not only the 
 effect of Calviniitical doctrines, as they are called, 
 on Mr. Brainerd himfelf, but alfo the effect of the 
 fame doctrines, as taught and inculcated by him, on 
 others. It is abundantly pretended and afferted of 
 late, that thefe doctrines tend to undermine the very 
 foundations of all religion and morality, and to ener- 
 vate and vacate all reafbnable motives to the exer- 
 cife and practice of them, and lay invincible tum- 
 bling blocks before infidels, to hinder their embrac- 
 ing chriftianity ; and that the contrary doctrines 
 are the fruitful principles of virtue and goodnefs, 
 fet religion on its right bafis, reprefent it in an ami- 
 able light, give its motives their full force, and re- 
 commend it to thereafon and common fenfe of man- 
 kind. But where can they find an inftance of fo 
 great and fignal an effect of their doctrines, , in bring- 
 ing 
 
On the preceding Memoirs. 331 
 
 ing infidels, who were at fuch a di (lance from all 
 that is civil, human, fober, rational, and chriftian, 
 and fo full of inveterate prejudices againft thefe 
 things, to fuch a degree of humanity, civility, exer- 
 cife of reafon, felf denial, and chriftian virtue ? Ar- 
 minians place religion in morality : Let them bring 
 an inftance of their doctrines producing fuch a tranf- 
 formation of a people in point of morality. It is 
 ftrange, if the allwife God fo orders things in his 
 providence, that reafonable and proper means, and 
 his own means, which he himfelf has appointed, 
 fhould in no known remarkable inftance be inftru- 
 mental to produce fo good an effect ; an effect fo 
 agreeable to his own word and mind, and that very 
 effect for which he appointed thefe excellent means ; 
 that they fhould not be fo fuccefsful as thofe means 
 which are not his own, but very contrary to them, 
 and of a contrary tendency ; means that are in them- 
 felves very abfurd, and tend to root all religion and 
 virtue out of the world, to promote and eftablifh in- 
 fidelity, and to lay an infuperable Humbling block 
 before pagans, to hinder their embracing the gofpel : 
 I fay, if this be the true ftate of the cafe, it is cer- 
 tainly pretty wonderful, and an event worthy of 
 fome attention. 
 
 I know, that many will be ready to fay, it is too 
 foon yet to glory in the work, that has been wrought 
 among Mr. Brainerd's Indians ; it is beft to wait 
 and fee the final event ; it may be, all will come to 
 nothing by and by : To which I anfvvcr, not to infill 
 that it will not follow, according to Arminian prin- 
 ciples, they are not now true chriftians, really piolts 
 and godly, though they fhould fall away and come 
 to nothing, that I never fuppofed, every one of thofe 
 Indians, who in profellion renounced their heathen- 
 ifm and vifibly embraced chriftianity, and have had 
 feme appearances of piety, will finally prove true 
 
 converts : 
 
$$Z Reflections ^Observations 
 
 converts : If two thirds, or indeed one half of them, 
 as great a proportion as there is in the parable of the 
 ten virgins, fhould perfevere ; it will be fufficient to 
 mew the work wrought among them, to have been 
 truly admirable and glorious. But fo much of per- 
 manence of their religion has already appeared, as 
 fhews it to be fomething elfe befides an Indian hu- 
 mour or good mood, or any transient effect in the 
 conceits, notions, and affections of thefe ignorant 
 people, excited at a particular turn, by artful man- 
 agement. For it is now more than three years ago, 
 that this work began among them, and a remarkable 
 change appeared in many of them ; fince which 
 time the number of vifible converts has greatly in- 
 creafed : And by repeated accounts, from feveral 
 hands, they ftill generally perfevere in diligent religion 
 and ftrici virtue. I think worthy to be here inferted, a 
 letter from a young gentleman, a candidate for the 
 miniftry, one of thofe appointed by the hon- 
 ourable Commillioners in Bolton, as Miffionaries 
 to the heathen of the Six Nations, fo called ; 
 who, by their order, dwelt with Mr. John Brai- 
 nerd, among thefe chriftian Indians, in order to 
 their being prepared for the bufinefs of their mif- 
 fion. The letter was written from thence to his pa- 
 rents here in Northampton, and is as follows. 
 
 Bethel, in Nen.v-Jerfej, January 14, 1747,8. 
 
 Honoured and dear Parents, 
 AFTER a long and uncomfortable journey, by 
 reafon of bad weather, I arrived at Mr. Brainerd's 
 the fixth of this inftant ; where I defign to flay 
 this winter : And as yet, upon many accounts, am 
 well fatisfied with my coming hither. The ft ate 
 and ci re um fiances of the Indians, fpiritual and tem- 
 poral, much exceed what I expected. I have en- 
 deavoured to acquaint myfelf with the ilate of the 
 
 Indians 
 
On the preceding Memoirs. 333 
 
 Indians in general, with particular perfons, and with 
 the fchool, as much as the fhort time I have been 
 here would admit of. And notwitriftanding my ex- 
 pectations were very much raifed, from Mr. David 
 Brainerd's Journal, and from particular informations 
 from him ; yet I mufl confefs, that in many re- 
 flects, they were not equal to that which now appears 
 to me to be true, concerning the glorious work of 
 divine grace amongfr. the Indians. 
 
 The evening after I came to town, I had oppor- 
 tunity to fee the Indians together, whilft the Rev. 
 Mr. Arthur preached to them : At which time 
 there appeared a very general and uncommon feri- 
 oufnefs and folemnity in the congregation : And 
 this appeared to me to be the effect of an inward 
 fcnfe of the importance of divine truths, and not be- 
 caufe they were hearing a ftranger : Which was 
 abundantly confirmed to me the next Sabbath, when 
 there was the fame devout attendance on divine fer- 
 vice, and a iurpriiing folemnity appearing in the 
 performance of each part of divine worfhip. And 
 fome, who are hopefully true ehriitians, appear to 
 have been at that time much enlivened and comfort- 
 ed ; not from any obfervable commotions then, but' 
 from converfation afterwards : And others feemed 
 to be under prefiing concern for their fouls. 1 have 
 endeavoured to acquaint myfelf with particular per- 
 fons ; many of whom feem to be ver} r humble and 
 growing chriftians ; although fome of them, as I 
 am informed, were before their con verfion moil mon- 
 ftroufly wicked. 
 
 Religious converfation feems to be very pleafing 
 and delightful to many, and efpecially that which 
 relates to the exercifes of the heart. And many here 
 do not feem to be real chriffians only, but growing 
 chriftians alfo ; as well in doctrinal, as experiment- 
 al knowledge. Bcfrdes my converfation with par- 
 ticular 
 
334 Reflections and Observations 
 
 ticular pcrfons, I have had opportunity to attend up- 
 on one of Mr. Brainerd's catechetical lectures ; 
 where I was furprifed at their readinefs in anfwering 
 questions which they had not been ufed to ; al- 
 though Mr. Brainerd complained much of their un- 
 common deficiency. It is furprifing, to fee this 
 people, who, not long fince were led captive by Sa- 
 tan at his will, and living in the practice of all man- 
 ner of abominations, without the lead fenfe even of 
 moral honefty, yet now living foberly and regular- 
 ly, and not feeking every man his own, but every 
 man, in fome fenfe, his neighbour's good ; and to 
 fee thofe, who but a little while paft, knew nothing 
 of the true God, now worfhipping him in a iblemn 
 and devout manner ; not only in publick, but in 
 their families and in fecret ; which is manifeftly the 
 cafe; it being a difficult thing to walk out in the 
 woods in the morning, without difturbing perfons 
 at their fecret devotion. And it feems wonderful, 
 that this mould be the cafe, not only with adult per- 
 fons, but with children alfo. It is obfervable here, 
 that many children, if not the children in general, 
 retire into fecret places to pray. And as far as at 
 prefent I can judge, this is not the effecl: of cuftom 
 and fafhion, but of real ferioufnefs and thoughtful- 
 nefs about their fouls. 
 
 I have frequently gone into the fchool, and have 
 fpent confiderable time there amongfr. the children ; 
 and have been furprifed to fee, not only their diligent 
 attendance upon the bufinefs of the fchool, but alfo 
 the proficiency they have made in it, in reading and 
 writing, and in their catechifms of divers forts. It 
 feems to be as pleafing and as natural to thefe chil- 
 dren to have their books in their hands, as it does 
 for many others to be at play. I have gone into an 
 houfe where there has been a number of children 
 accidentally gathered together ; and obferved, that 
 
 every 
 
On the preceding Memoirs. 33$ 
 
 every one had his book in his hand, and was dili- 
 gently ftudying of it. There is to the number of 
 about thirty of thefe children, who can anfwer to all 
 the qucftions in the aiTembly's catechifm ; and the 
 bigger part of them are able to do it with the proofs 
 to the fourth commandment. 1 wifli there were 
 many fuch fchools : I confefs, that I never was ac- 
 quainted with fuch an one, in many refpects. O 
 that what God has done here, may prove to be the 
 beginning of a far more glorious andextenfive work 
 of grace among the heathen. 
 
 I am your obedient and dutiful fon, 
 
 JOB STRONG. 
 
 P. S. Since the date of this, I have had opportuni- 
 ty to attend upon another of Mr. Braincrd's cate- 
 chetical lectures ; and truly I was convinced, that 
 Mr. Brainerd did not complain before of his peo- 
 pled defedts in anfwering to quellions propofed, 
 without reafon : For although their anfwers at that 
 time exceeded my expectations very much ; yet 
 their performances at this lecture very much exceed- 
 ed them. 
 
 IV. Is there not much in the preceding Memoirs 
 of Mr.. Brainerd to teach, and excite to duty, us 
 who are called to the work of the miniftry, and all 
 that are candidates for that great work ? What a 
 deep fenfe did he feem to have of the greatnefs and 
 importance of that work, and with what weight did 
 it lie on his mind ! How fenlible was he of his own 
 infufficiency for this work ; and how great was his 
 dependence on God's fufficiency ! How folicitous, 
 that he might be fitted for it ! And to this end, how 
 much time did he fpend in prayer and falling, as 
 well as reading and meditation ; giving himfelf to 
 thefe things ! How did he dedicate his whole life, 
 all his powers and talents to God ; and forfake and 
 
 renounce 
 
%$6 Refeections and Observations 
 
 renounce the world, with all its pleafing and enfnar* 
 ing enjoyments, that he might be wholly at liberty, 
 to fcrve Chrift in this work ,• and to pleafe him who 
 had chofen him to be a foldier, under the Captain of 
 ourfahation I With what folicitude, folemnity, and 
 diligence did he devote himfelf to God our Saviour, 
 and feek his prefence and bleffing in lecret, at the 
 time of his ordination ! And how did his whole 
 heart appear to be conftantly engaged, his whole 
 time employed, and his whole ftrength fpent in the 
 bufinefs he then folemnly undertook, and was pub- 
 lickly fet apart to ! And his hiftory (hews us the 
 right way to fuccefs in the work of the miniftry. 
 He fought it, as a refolute foldier feeks victory, in a 
 liege or battle ; or as a man that runs a race, for a 
 great prize. Animated with love to Chrift and 
 fouls, how did he labour always fervently, not only 
 in word and doctrine, in publick and private, but 
 in prayers day and night, wreftling with God in fe- 
 cret, and travailing in birth, with unutterable groans 
 and agonies, until Chrift were formed in the hearts 
 of the people to whom he was fent ! How did he 
 thirft for a blefiing on his miniftry ; and watch for 
 fouls, as one that m uft give account ! How did he go 
 forth in thefirength of the Lord God ; feeking and 
 depending on a ipecial influence of the Spirit to af- 
 fift and fucceed him ! And what was the happy 
 fruit at laft, though after long waiting, and many 
 dark and difcouraging appearances ! Like a true 
 fon of Jacob,.he perfevered in wreftling, through all 
 thedarknefs of the night, until thebreakingof the day. 
 And his example of labouring, praying, denying 
 himfelf, and enduring hardnefs, with unfainting 
 refolutiofl and patience, and his faithful, vigilant, 
 and prudent conduct in many other refpects, which 
 it would be too long now particularly to recite, may 
 afford inftruction to miflionaries in particular. 
 
On the preceding Memoirs. 337 
 
 V. The foregoing account of Mr. Brainerd's life 
 may afford inftru&ion to chriftians in general ; as it 
 ihews, in many refpe&s, the right way of pradtifing 
 religion, in order to obtain the ends of it, and 
 receive the benefits of it ; or how chriftians fhould 
 run the race Jet before them, if they would not run 
 in vain, or run as uncertainly, but would honour 
 God in the world, adorn their profeftion, be fervice- 
 able to mankind, have the comforts of religion while 
 they live, be free from difquieting doubts and dark 
 apprehenfions about the ftate of their fouls ; enjoy 
 peace in the approaches of death, and Jin ijh their 
 courfe with joy. In general, he much recommend- 
 ed, for this purpofe, the redemption of time, great 
 diligence in the bufmefs of the chriftian life, watch- 
 fulnefs, &c. And he very remarkably exemplified 
 thefe things. 
 
 But particularly, his example and fuccefs with re- 
 gard to one duty in fpecial, may be of great uk to 
 both minifters and private chriftians ; I mean the 
 duty of fecret fafting. The reader has feen, how 
 much Mr. Brainerd recommends this duty r and how 
 frequently he exercifed himfelf in it j nor can it 
 well have efcaped obfervation, how much he was 
 owned and bleffed in it, and of what great benefit it 
 evidently was to his foul. Among all the many 
 days he fpent in fecret failing and prayer, that he 
 gives an account of in his Diary, there is fcarce an 
 inftance of one, but what was-either attended or foon 
 followed with apparent fuccefs, and a remarkable 
 blefting, in fpecial incomes and confolations of God's 
 Spirit ; and very often, before the day was ended. 
 But itmuftbe observed, that when he fet about this 
 duty, he did it in good earned ; ftirring up himfelf 
 to take hold of God, and continuing injicmi in prayer^ 
 with much of the fpirit of Jacob, who laid to the 
 angel , Iivill net ict thee go, except thou blefs me. 
 
 X VI. There 
 
338 Reflections and Observations 
 
 VI. There is much in the preceding account to 
 excite and encourage God's people to earned: prayers 
 and endeavours for the advancement and enlarge- 
 ment of the kingdom of Chrift in the world. Mr. 
 Brainerd fat us an excellent example in this refpect. 
 He fought the profperity of Zion with all his might, 
 He preferred Jerufalem above his chief joy. How 
 did his foul long for it, and pant after it ! And how 
 earneftly and often did he wreflle with God for it ! 
 And how far did he, in thefe defires and prayers, 
 ieem to be carried beyond all private and felflfli 
 views ! Being animated by a pure love toChrift, an 
 earneft. defire of his glory, and a difmterefted affec- 
 tion to the fouls of mankind. 
 
 As there is much in Mr. Brainerd's life to encour- 
 age chriflians to feek the advancement of ChrifVs 
 kingdom, in general -, fo there is, in particular, to 
 pray for the converfion of the Indians on this conti- 
 nent, and to exert themfelves in the ufe of proper 
 means for its accomplifhment. For it appears, that 
 he in his unutterable longings and wreftlings of foul 
 for the flourifhing of religion, had his mind peculi- 
 arly intent on the converfion and falvation of thefe 
 people, and his heart more efpecially engaged in 
 prayer for them. And if we confider the degree and 
 manner in which he, from time to time, fought and 
 hoped for an extenfive work of grace among them, 
 I think we have reafon to hope, that the wonderful 
 things, which God wrought among them by him, 
 are but a forerunner of fomething yet much more 
 glorious and extenfive of that kind ; and this may 
 juftly be an encouragement, to well difpofed char- 
 itable perfons, to honour the Lord with their fubjlance^ 
 by contributing, as they are able, to promote the 
 fpreading of the gofpel among them ; and this alfo 
 may incite and encourage gentlemen who are incor- 
 porated, and intrufted with the care and difpofal of 
 
 thofe 
 
On the preceding M,E M o I R s . 339 
 
 thofe liberal benefactions, which have already been 
 made by pious perforis, to that end ; and likewife 
 the miflionaries themfelves, that are or may be em- 
 ployed ; and it may be of direction unto both, as to 
 the proper qualifications of miflionaries, and the 
 proper meafures to be taken in order to their fuccefs. 
 One thing in particular, I would take occafion 
 from the foregoing hiftory to mention and propofe 
 to the consideration of fuch as have the care of pro- 
 viding and fending mitiionanes among favages ; 
 viz. Whether it would not ordinarily be beft to fend 
 two together ? It is pretty manifeft, that Mr. Brai- 
 nerd's going, as he did, alone into the howling wil- 
 dernefs, was one great occafion of fuch a prevailing 
 of melancholy on his mind ; which was his greatefl 
 difadvantage. He was much in fpeaking of it him- 
 felf, when he was here in his dying ftate ; and ex- 
 preffed himfelf, to this purpofe, that none could con^ 
 ceive of the difadvantage a miiTionary in fuch cir- 
 cumflances was under, by being alone ; efpecially 
 as it expofed him to difcouragement and melancho- 
 ly : And fpoke of the wifdom of Chrift in fending 
 forth his difciples by two and two ; and left it as 
 his dying advice to his brother, never to go to Suf- 
 quehannah, to travel about in that remote wilder- 
 nefs, to preach to the Indians there, as he had often 
 done, without the company of a fellow mifiionary. 
 VII. One thing more may not be unprofitably ob- 
 ferved in the preceding account of Mr. Brainerd ; 
 and that is the fpecial and remarkable difpofal of Di- 
 vine Providence, with regard to the circumitances of 
 his laft. ficknefs and death. 
 
 Though he had been long infirm, his conftimtion 
 being much broken by his fatigues and hardships ; 
 and though he was often brought very low by illnefs, 
 before he left Kaunaumeek, and alfo while he lived 
 at the Forks of Delaware ; yet his life was preferved 
 
 X % until 
 
340 Reflections ^^/Observations 
 
 until he had feen that which he had to long and 
 greatly defired and fought, a glorious work of grace 
 among the Indians, and had received the wifhed for 
 blefling of God on his labours. Though as it were 
 in deaths oft, yet he lived to behold the happy fruits 
 of the long continued travail of his foul and labour 
 of his body, in the wonderful converfion of many of 
 the heathen, and the happy effect of it in the great 
 change of their converfation, with many circumftan- 
 ces which afforded a fair profpectof the continuance 
 of God's bleiling upon them : Thus he did not de- 
 part, until his eyes had feen God y s faivation. 
 
 Though in that winter that he lay fick at Mr. 
 Dickinfon's in Elizabeth-Town, he continued for a 
 long time in an extremely low ftate, fo that his life 
 was almoft defpaired of, and his ftate was fome- 
 times fuch that it was hardly expected he would 
 live a day to an end ; yet his life was fpared a while 
 longer ; he lived to fee his brother arrived in New- 
 Jerfey, being come to fucceed him in the care of his 
 Indians ; and he hirafelf had opportunity to affiit in 
 his examination and introduction into his bulfinefs ; 
 and to commit the conduct of his dear people to one 
 whom he well knew, and could put confidence in, and 
 ule freedom within giving him particular inftructions 
 and charges, and under whole care he could leave 
 his congregation with great cheerfulnefs. 
 
 The providence of God was remarkable in {o or- 
 dering of it, that before his death he mould take, a 
 journey into New-England, and go to Bofton : 
 Which was, in many refpecXs, of very great and 
 happy confequence to the intereft of religion, and 
 especially among his own people. By this means, 
 as has been obferved, he was brought into acquaint- 
 ance with many pcrions of note and influence, min- 
 ilters and others, belonging both to the town and va- 
 rious parts of the country ; and had opportunity, 
 
 under 
 
On the preceding Memoirs. 34 i 
 
 unde r the beft advantages, to bear a teftimony for 
 God and true religion, and againft thofe falfe appear- 
 ances of it that have proved moft pernicious to the 
 interefts of ChriiVs kingdom in the land. And the 
 providence of God is particularly obfervable in this 
 circumftance of the teftimony he there bore for true 
 religion, viz. That he there was brought fo near 
 the grave, and continued for ib long a time on the 
 very brink of eternity ; and from time to time look- 
 ed on himfelf, and was looked on by others, as juft 
 leaving the world ; and that in thefe circumftances 
 he mould be {0 particularly directed and affifted in 
 his thoughts and views of religion, to diftinguiili be- 
 tween the true and the falfe, with fuch cleamefs and 
 evidence ; and that after this he mould be unexpect- 
 edly and furprifingly reftored and ftrengthened, fo 
 far as to be able to converfe freely ; and have fuch 
 opportunity, and fpecial occafions to declare the fen- 
 timents he had in thefe, which were, to human ap- 
 prehenfion, his dying circumftances ; and to bear 
 his teftimony concerning the nature of true religion, 
 and concerning the mifchievous tendency of its inoft 
 prevalent counterfeits and falfe appearances ; as things 
 he had a fpecial, clear, diftinct view of at that time, 
 when he expected in a few minutes to be in eterni- 
 ty ; and the certainty and importance of which 
 were then, in a peculiar manner, imprefled on his 
 mind. 
 
 Among the happy confequenccs of his going to 
 Bofton, were thofe liberal benefactions that have 
 been mentioned, which were made by pious difpof- 
 ed perfons, for the maintaining and promoting the 
 intereft of religion among his people : And alf'o the 
 meeting of a number of gentlemen in Bofton, of 
 note and ability, to confult upon meafures for that 
 purpofe ; who were excited, by their acquaintance 
 and converfation with Mr. Brainerd, and by the ac* 
 
 X 3 count 
 
342 Reflections <7#i Observations 
 
 count of the great things God had wrought by his 
 miniftry, to unite themfelves, that by their joint en- 
 deavours and contributions they might promote the 
 kingdom of Chrift, and the fpiritual good of their 
 fellow creatures, among the Indians in New-Jerfey, 
 and el few here. 
 
 The providence of God was obfervable in his go- 
 ing to Bofton at a time when not only the honoura- 
 ble Commiflioners were feeking miffionaries to the 
 Six Nations ; but juft after his Journal, which gives 
 an account of his labours and fuccefs among the In- 
 dians, had been received and fpread in Bofton : 
 Whereby his name was known, and the minds of 
 ferious people were well prepared to receive his per- 
 fon,and the teftimony he there gave for God ; to 
 exert themfelves for the upholding and promoting 
 the intereft of religion in his congregation, and 
 amongft the Indians elfewhere ; and to regard his 
 judgment concerning the qualifications of miffiona- 
 ries, &c. If he had gone there the fall before, when 
 he had intended to have made his journey into New- 
 England, but was prevented by a fudden great increafe 
 of his illnefs, it would not have been likely to have 
 been in any meafure to fo good effedt : And alio if he 
 had not been unexpectedly detained in Bofton : For 
 when he went from my houfe, he intended to make 
 but a very fhort flay there : But Divine Providence, 
 by his being brought fo low there, detained him 
 long ; thereby to make way for the fulfilling its own 
 gracious defigns. 
 
 The providence of God was remarkable in fo or- 
 dering, that although he was brought fo very near the 
 grave in Bofton, that it-was not in the leaft expected 
 he would ever come alive out of his chamber ; yet 
 he wonderfully revived, and was preferved feverai 
 months longer : So that he had opportunity to fee, 
 and fully to converfc with both his younger breth* 
 
 rcn 
 
On the preceding Memoirs. 343 
 
 ren before be died; which was a thing he greatly 
 deflred ; and efpecially to fee his brother John, with 
 whom was left the care of his congregation; that 
 he might by him be fully informed of their ftate, 
 and might leave with him fuch inftructions and di- 
 rections as were requiiite in order to their fpiritual 
 welfare, and to fend to them his dying charges and 
 counfels. And he had alfb an opportunity, by 
 means of this fufpenfion of his death, to find and 
 recommend a couple of perfons fit to be employed 
 as miflionaries to the Six Nations, as had been de- 
 iired of him. 
 
 Although it was the pleafure of a fovereign God', 
 that he mould be taken away from his congregation, 
 the people that he had begotten through the gofpel, 
 who were fo dear to him ; yet it was granted to him , 
 that before he died he mould fee them well provided 
 for, every way : He faw them provided for with 
 one to in ft met them, and take care of their fouls ; 
 his own brother, whom he could confide in : He 
 faw a good foundation laid for the fupport of 
 the fchool among them ; thofe things that before 
 were wanting in order to it, being fupplied : And 
 he had the profpect of a charitable fociety being ef- 
 tabliihed, of able and well difpofed perfons, who 
 ieem to make the fpiritual intereft of his congrega- 
 tion their own ; whereby he had a comfortable view 
 of their being well provided for, for the future : And 
 he had alio opportunity to leave all his dying charges 
 with his fucceiTor in the paitoral care of his people, 
 and by him to lend his dying counfels to tfiem. 
 Thus God granted him to fee all things happily 
 fettled, or in a hopeful way of being 10; before his 
 death, with refpect to his dear people. And where- 
 as not onh/ his own congregation, but the fouls 
 of -the Indians in North -America in general, were 
 very dear to him, and he hasj greatly let his heart on 
 X 4 the 
 
344 Reflections ^^/Observations 
 
 the propagating and extending the kingdom of 
 Chrift among them ; God was pleafed to grant to 
 him, however it was his will that he mould be tak- 
 en away, and i'o ihould not be the immediate inftru- 
 ment of their in ft ruction and conversion, yet that 
 before his death, he mould fee unexpected extraor- 
 dinary provifion made for this alfo. And it is re- 
 markable, that God not only allowed him to fee fuch 
 provifion made for the maintaining the interefr. of 
 religion among his own people, and the propagation 
 of it elfewhere ; but honoured him by making him 
 the means or occafion of it. So that it is very prob- 
 able, however Mr. Brainerd, during the laft four 
 months of his life, was ordinarily in an extremely 
 weak and low ftate, very often fcarcely able to fpeak ; 
 yet that he was made the inftrument or means of 
 much more good in that fpace of time, than he 
 would have been if he had been well, and in full 
 ilrength of body. Thus God's power was manifeft- 
 ed in his weaknefs, and the life of Chrifr. was mani- 
 fefted in his mortal fleih. 
 
 Another thing wherein appears the merciful dif- 
 pofal of Providence with refpect to his death, was, 
 that he did not die in the wildernefs, among the lav- 
 ages, at Kaunaumeek, or the Forks of Delaware, or 
 at Sufquehannah ; but in a place where his dying be- 
 haviour and fpeeches might be obferved and remem- 
 bered, and fome account given of them for the ben- 
 efit of furvivors -, and alfo where care might be tak- 
 en of him in his ficknefs, and proper honours done 
 him at his death. 
 
 The providence of God is alio worthy of remark,. 
 in fo overruling and ordering the matter, that he did 
 not finally leave abfolute orders for the entire fup- 
 prefling of his private papers ; as he had intended 
 and fully refolved, infomuch that all the importuni- 
 ty of his friends could fcarce reftrain him from do^ 
 
On the preceding Memoirs. 345 
 
 ing it, when fick at Bofton. And one thing relat- 
 ing to this is peculiarly remarkable, viz. that his 
 brother, a little before his death, fhould come from 
 the Jerfeys unexpected, and bring his Diary to him, 
 though he had received no fuch order. So that he 
 had opportunity of accefs to thefe his referved pa- 
 pers, and for reviewing the fame ; without which, 
 it appears, he would at laft have ordered them to be 
 wholly fupprelTed : But after this, he the more read- 
 ily yielded to the defires of his friends, and was wil- 
 ling to leave them in their hands, to be difpofed of 
 as they thought might be molt for God's glory : By 
 which means, he being dead, yet fpcaketh, in thefe 
 Memoirs of his life, taken from thofe private writ- 
 ings : Whereby it is to be hoped he may ftill be as 
 it were the inftrument of much promoting the inter- 
 eft of religion in this world ; the advancement of 
 which he fo much defired, and hoped would be ac- 
 complished after his death. 
 
 If thefe circumftances of Mr. Brainerd's death be 
 duly considered, I doubt not but they will be ac- 
 knowledged as a notable inftance of God's fatherly 
 care, and covenant faithfulnefs towards them that 
 are devoted to him, and faithfully ferve him while 
 they live ; whereby he never fails nor forfakes them., 
 but is with them living and dying ; fo that whether 
 they live, they live to the Lord ; or whether they die y . 
 they die to the Lord ; and both in life and death thev 
 are owned and taken care of as his. Mr. Brainerd 
 himfelf, as was before obferved, was much in tak- 
 ing notice, when near his end, of the merciful cir- 
 cumftances of his death ; and iaid, from time to 
 time, that God had granted him all his deiire. 
 
 And I would not conclude my obfervations on the 
 merciful circumftances of Mr. Brainerd's death, with- 
 out acknowledging with thankfulnefs, the gracious 
 dilpeniation of Providence to me and my familv, in 
 
 fo 
 
346 Reflections ^Observations. 
 
 fo ordering, that he (though the ordinary place of 
 his abode was more than two hundred miles diftant) 
 ihould be caft hither, to my houfe, in his laft fick- 
 nefs, and mould die here : So that we had oppor- 
 tunity for much acquaintance and converfation with 
 him, and to {hew him kindnefs in fuch circum- 
 ftances, and to fee his dying behaviour, to hear his 
 dying fpeeches, to receive his dying counfels, and 
 to have the benefit of his dying prayers. May God 
 in infinite mercy grant that we may ever retain a 
 proper remembrance of thefe things, and make a 
 due improvement of the advantages we have had in' 
 thefe refpects ! The Lord grant alfo, that the fore- 
 going account of Mr. Brainerd's life and death may 
 be for the great fpiritual benefit of all that {hall read 
 it, and prove a happy means of promoting the re- 
 vival of true religion in thefe parts of the world- 
 
 AMEN. 
 
Mirabilia Dei inter Indices, 
 
 OR T H I 
 
 RISE and PROGRESS 
 
 OF A REMARKABLE 
 
 WORK of GRACE 
 
 AMONG A NUMBER OF THE 
 
 INDIANS, 
 
 In the Provinces of NEW-JERSEY and PENNSYLVANIA, 
 
 JUSTLY REPRESENTED IN A. 
 
 JOURNAL 
 
 KEPT BY ORDER OF THE HONOURABLE SOCIETY, IN SCOTLAND, FOR PROPA* 
 
 gat ins CHRISTIAN KNOWLEDGE. 
 
 With some general REMARKS. 
 By DAVID 'BRAINERD, 
 
 MINISTER of the GOSPEL, and MISSIONARY from the said SOCIETY- 
 
 Published, at the first, by the reverend and worthy CORRESPOND- 
 ENTS of the said SOCIETY. 
 
 NOW REPUBLISHED, WITH SOME DIMINUTION WHERE THE MATTER WAS LESS 
 INTERESTING, BY THE EDITOR. 
 
 Inftead of the thorn, (hall come up the fir tree ; and inftead of the brier, fhall corr.e 
 up the myrtle tree : And it fhall be to the Lord for a name, tor an evetlafting 
 fign that fhall not be cut off. Ifiiah Jv. 13. 
 
 1 am fought of them that afked not for me : I am found of them that fought m; 
 not : I fiid, Bi hold me, behold me, to a nation that was not called by my 
 name, Ifaiak Ixv. 1. 
 
 All thy works fhall praife thee, O Lord, and thy faints fhall blefs thee ; they fhall 
 fpeak of the glory of thy kingdom, and talk of thy power. Pjabn cxlv. 10, 11. 
 
 PRINTED at WORCESTER, MASSACHUSETTS, 
 
 By LEONARD WORCESTER, 
 
 MDCCXC1U, 
 
8 
 
THE 
 
 RISE and PROGRESS, &c. 
 
 »»»**»*»*g&fiW*«we' 
 
 Crosweeksunc, in New-Jerfey, fune 19, i?45- 
 
 H 
 
 AVING fpent mod of my time for more than 
 . a year paft, amongft the Indians in the Forks 
 of Delaware in Pennfylvania ; and having in that 
 time made two journeys to Sufquehannah river, 
 far back in that province, in order to treat with the 
 Indians there, refpecling chriflianity ; and not 
 having had any considerable appearance of fpecial 
 fuccefs in either of thofe places, which damped my 
 fpirits, and was not a little difcouraging tome ; up- 
 on hearing that there was a number of Indians in 
 and about a place called (by the Indians) Crofweek- 
 fung, in New-Jerfey, near fourfcore miles foutheaft- 
 ward from the Forks of Delaware, I determined to 
 make them a vifit, and fee what might be done to- 
 wards the chriftianizing of them ; and accordingly ar- 
 rived among them this day. 
 
 I found very few perfons at the place I vifited, 
 and perceived the Indians in thefe parts were very 
 much fcattered, there being not more than two or 
 three families in a place, and thefe fmall fettlements 
 fix, ten, fifteen, twenty and thirty miles, and fome 
 more, from the place I was then at : However, I 
 preached to thofe few I found, who appeared well 
 
 difpofed 
 
4 DIVINE GRACE displayed 
 
 difpofed, and not inclined to object and cavil, as 
 the Indians had frequently done otherwhere. 
 
 When I had concluded my difcourfe, I informed 
 fhem (there being none but a few women and 
 children) that I would willingly viiit them again 
 the next day. Whereupon they readily fet out and 
 travelled ten or fifteen miles, in order to give notice 
 to fome of their friends at that diftance. Thefe 
 women, like the woman of Samaria, feemed deiir- 
 ous that others mighty^f the man that told them what 
 they had done in their lives paft, and the mifery that 
 attended their idolatrous ways. 
 
 June 20. — Vifited and preached to the Indians 
 again as I propofed. Numbers more were gather- 
 ed at the invitations of their friends, who heard me 
 the day before. Thefe alfo appeared as attentive, 
 orderly and well difpofed as the others. And none 
 made any objection, as Indians in other places have 
 ufually done. 
 
 'June 22. — Preached to the Indians again. Their 
 number, which at firfl confifted of about feven or 
 eight perfons, was now increafed to near thirty. 
 
 There was not only a folemn attention among 
 them, but fome considerable impreflions (it was 
 apparent) were made upon their minds by divine 
 truths. Some began to feel their mifery and per- 
 illing flate, and appeared concerned for a deliver- 
 ance from it. 
 
 Lord's Day, June 23. — Preached to the Indians, 
 and fpent the day with them. Their number flill 
 increafed ; and all, with one confent, feemed to re- 
 joice in my coming among them. Not a word of 
 oppofition was heard from any of them againft 
 chriflianity, although in times paft, they had been 
 as opposite to any thing of that nature, as any In- 
 dians whatfoever. And fome of them, not many 
 months before, were enraged with my interpreter 
 
 becaufe 
 
• -Among the INDIANS. .£ 
 
 becaufe he attempted to teach them fomething of 
 chriftianity. 
 
 'June 24. — Preached to the Indians at their defire, 
 and upon their own motion. To fee poor pagans 
 defirous of hearing the gofpel of Chrift, animated 
 me to difcourfe to them, although I was now very- 
 weakly, and my fpirits much exhaufted. They at- 
 tended with the greateft ferioufnefs and diligence ; 
 and there was fome concern for their fouls 1 falvation, 
 apparent among them. 
 
 June 27. — Vifited and preached to the Indians 
 again. Their number now amounted to about forty 
 perfons. Their folemnity and attention ftill contin- 
 ued ; and a considerable concern for their fouls be- 
 came very apparent among fundry of them. 
 
 JunezS. — The Indians being now gathered a con- 
 •fiderable number of them, from their feveral and 
 -diftant habitations, requefted me to preach twice a 
 day to them, being defirous to hear as much as they 
 "poflibly could while I was with them. I cheerful- 
 ly complied with their motion, and could not but 
 admire the goodnefs of God, who, I was perfuaded, 
 had inclined them thus to inquire after the way of 
 falvation. 
 
 'fyarii 29. — Preached again twice to the Indians, 
 Saw, as I thought, the hand of God very evidently, 
 and in a manner fomewhat remarkable, making pro- 
 vision for their fubliilence together, in order to their 
 being inir.ruct.ed in divine things. For this day and 
 the day before, with only walking a little way from 
 the place of our daily meeting, they killed three deer, 
 which were a feafonable fupply for their wants, and 
 without which, it feems, they could not have fub-* 
 filled together in order to attend the means of grace. 
 
 Lord's Day, June 30. — Preached twice this day 
 
 • alfo. Obferved yet more concern and affection, 
 
 among the poor heathens than ever : So that fhey 
 
 even 
 
6 DIVINE GRACE displayed 
 
 even conftrained me to tarry yet longer with them ; 
 although my confutation was exceedingly worn out, 
 and my health much impaired by my late fatigues 
 and labours, and efpecially by my late journey to 
 Sufquehannah in May laft, in which I lodged on 
 the ground for fcveral weeks together. 
 
 "July i. — Preached again, twice, to a very ferious 
 and attentive afTembly of Indians, they having now 
 learned to attend the worlhip of God, with chriftian 
 decency in all refpects. 
 
 There were now between forty and fifty perfons 
 of them prefent, old and young. 
 
 I fpent fome confiderable time in difcourfing 
 with them in a more private way, inquiring of them 
 what they remembered of the great truths that had 
 been taught them from day to day ; and may juft- 
 ]y fay it was amazing to fee how they had received 
 and retained the inftructions given them, and what 
 a meafure of knowledge fome of them had acquired 
 in a few days. 
 
 July 2. — Was obliged to leave thefe Indians at 
 Crofweekfung, thinking it my duty, as foon as 
 health would admit, again to vifit thofe at the Forks 
 of Delaware. When I came to take leave of them, 
 and fpoke fomething particularly to each of them, 
 they all earneftly inquired when I would come again, 
 and expreiTed a great defire of being further inltrucl- 
 ed. And of their own accord agreed, that when I 
 fhould come again, they would all meet and ]ive 
 together during my continuance with them. And 
 that they would do their utmofl endeavours to gath- 
 er all the other Indians in thefe parts that were yet 
 further remote. And when I parted, one told me 
 with many tears, (he wifhed God would change 
 her heart ! Another that fhe wanted to find Chrift ! 
 And an old man that had been one of their chiefs, 
 wept bitterly with concern for his foul. I then 
 
 promifed 
 
Among the INDIANS. 7 
 
 promifed them to return as fpeedily as my health 
 and bufinets elfewhere would admit, and felt not a 
 little concerned at parting, left the good impreffions 
 then apparent upon numbers of them, might decline 
 and wear off, when the means came to ceafe ; and 
 yet could not but hope that he who, I trufted, had 
 begun a good work among them, and who I knew 
 did not ftand in need of means to carry it on, would 
 maintain and promote it in the abfence of them ; al- 
 though at the fame time I muft confefs, that I had 
 fo often (cen fuch encouraging appearances among 
 the Indians otherwhere prove wholly abortive, and 
 it appeared the favour would be fo great, if God 
 fhould now, after I had palled through fo confid- 
 erable a feries of alrnoit. fruitlefs labours and fatigues, 
 and after my riling hopes had been fo often fruftrat- 
 ed among thefe poor pagans, give me any fpecial 
 fuccefs in my labours with them, that I could not 
 believe, and fcarce dared to hope that the event 
 would be fo happy, and fcarce ever found myfelf 
 more fufpended between hope and fear, in any affair, 
 or at any time, than this. 
 
 This encouraging difpofuion and readinefs to 
 receive inftruction, now apparent among thefe In- 
 dians, feerns tohave been the happy effect of the con- 
 viction that one or two of them met with fome time 
 llnce at the Forks of Delaware, who have fince en- 
 deavoured to (hew their friends the evil of idolatry, 
 &c. And although the other Indians feemed but 
 little to regard, but rather to deride them, yet this, 
 perhaps has put them into a thinking pofture of 
 mind, or at lead, given them fome thoughts about 
 chrift ianity, and excited in fome of them a curiofity 
 to hear, and fo made way for the prefent encourag- 
 ing attention. An apprehenfion that this might be 
 the cafe here, has given me encouragement that God 
 may in fuch a manner blefs the means I have ufed 
 
 Y with 
 
S DIVINEGRACE displayed 
 
 with Indians in other places, where there is as yet 
 no appearance of it. It f'o, may his name have the 
 glory of it ; for I have learned by experience that 
 he only can open the ear, engage the attention, and 
 incline the heart of poor benighted prejudiced pa- 
 gans to recieve inftru&ion. 
 
 Forks of Del aware, in Pennfylvania, 1745. 
 
 hordes Day, July 14. — Difcourfed to the Indians 
 twice, feveral of whom appeared concerned, and 
 were, I have reafon to think, in fome meafure con- 
 vinced by the Divine Spirit, of their fin and mifery: 
 So th^t they wept much the whole time of divine 
 fervice. 
 
 Afterwards difcourfed to a number of white peo- 
 ple then prefent. 
 
 'July 18. — Preached to my people, who attended 
 diligently, beyond what had been common among 
 thefe Indians : And fome of them appeared con- 
 cerned for their fouls. 
 
 Lord's Day, July %\. — Preached to the In- 
 dians firft, then to a number of white people pref- 
 ent, and in the afternoon to the Indians again. Di- 
 vine truths feemed to make very confiderable im- 
 preflions upon feveral of them, and caufed the tears 
 to flow freely. 
 
 Afterwards I baptized my interpreter and his 
 wife, who were the firft I baptized among the Indians. 
 
 They are both perfons of fome experimental 
 knowledge in religion; have both been awakened to 
 a folemn concern for their fouls ; have, to appearance, 
 been brought to a fenfe of their mifery and undone- 
 nefs in themfelves ; have both appeared to be com- 
 forted with divine eonfoktions ; and it is apparent 
 both have palled a great, and I cannot but hope a 
 faving change, 
 
 July 
 
Among the INDIANS. 9 
 
 July 23. — Preached to the Indians, but had few- 
 hearers : Thofe who are conftantly at home fcem 
 of late to be under fome ferious impreflions of a re- 
 ligious nature. 
 
 July 2 6. — Preached to my people, and, after- 
 wards, baptized my interpreter's children. 
 
 Lord's Day, July 28. — Preached again, and per- 
 ceived my people, at leafr. fome of them, more 
 thoughtful than ever about their fouls' concerns. I 
 was told by fome, that feeing my interpreter and 
 others baptized made them more concerned than 
 any thing they had ever feen or heard before. There 
 was indeed a confiderable appearance of divine pow- 
 er amongft them at the time that ordinance was ad- 
 miniftered. May that divine influence fpread and 
 increafe more abundantly. 
 
 July 30. — Difcourfed to a number of my people, 
 and gave them fome particular advice and direction, 
 being now about to leave them for the prefent, in 
 order to renew my vifit to the Indians in New-Jer- 
 fey. They were very attentive to my difcourfe, 
 and earneftly defirous to know when I designed to 
 return to them again. 
 
 Crosweeksung, in New-Jerfey, 1745. 
 
 Augujl 3; — Having viiited the Indians in thefe 
 parts in June laft, and tarried with them fome con- 
 siderable time, preaching almoft daily ; at which 
 feafon God was pleafed to pour upon them a fpirit 
 of awakening and concern for their fouls, and fur- 
 prifingly to engage their attention to divine truths. 
 I now found them ferious, and a number of them 
 under deep concern for an intereft in Chrifl : Their 
 convictions of their finful and perilhingftate having, 
 in my abfence from them, been much promoted by 
 the labours and endeavours of the Rev. Mr. Willi- 
 
 Y % am 
 
io DIVINE GRACE displayed 
 
 am Tennent, to whom I had advifed them to apply 
 for direction, and whofe houfe they frequented 
 much while I was gone. I preached to them this 
 day with fome view to Rev. xxii. 17. And whofo- 
 ever will, let him take the water of life freely : 
 Though I could not pretend to handle the fubject 
 methodically among them. 
 
 The Lord, I am perfuaded, enabled me, in a manner 
 fome what uncommon, to fet before them the Lord 
 Jefus Chrift as a kind and compaflionate Saviour, 
 inviting diftrelTed and perifliing finners to accept 
 everlafting mercy. And a furprifing concern foon 
 became apparant among them. There were about 
 twenty adult perfons together, (many of the Indi- 
 ans at remote places not having as yet had time to 
 come fince my return hither) and not above two that 
 I could fee with dry eyes. 
 
 Lord's Day, Augujl 4. — Being invited by a neigh- 
 bouring minifterto affiltin the adminiitration of the 
 Lord's fupper, I complied with his requeft, and 
 took the Indians along with me, not only thofe 
 that were together the day before, but many more 
 that were coming to hear me, fo that there were near 
 fifty in all, old and young. 
 
 They attended the feveral difcourfes of the day, 
 and fome of them that could understand English, 
 were much affected, and all feemed to have their 
 concern in fome meafure raifed. 
 
 Now a change in their manners began to appear 
 very vifible. In the evening when they came to 
 fup together, they would not tafte a morfel un- 
 til they had fent to me to come and afk a bleif- 
 ing on their food, at which time fundry of 
 them wept, efpecially when I minded them how 
 they had in times paft eat their feafts in hon- 
 our to devils, and neglected to thank God for 
 them. 
 
 Augujl 
 
Among the INDIANS. n 
 
 Augufl 5.— After a fermon had been preached by 
 another minifler, I preached, and concluded the 
 publick work of the folemnity from John yii. 37. 
 And in my difcourfe addrefled the Indians in par- 
 ticular, who fat by themfelves in a part of the houfe; 
 at which time one or two-of them were {truck with 
 deep concern, as they afterwards told me, who had 
 been little affe&ed before : Others had their con- 
 cern increafed to a considerable degree. In the 
 evening (the greater part of them being at the houfe 
 where I lodged) I difcourfed to them, and found 
 them univerfally engaged about their fouls' concern, 
 inquiring what they Jhould do to be faved ! And all 
 their converfation among themfelves turned upon 
 religious matters, in which they were much affifted 
 by my interpreter, who was with them day and 
 night. 
 
 This day, there was one woman, that had been 
 much concerned for her foul, ever fince fhe firfl 
 heard me preach in June lafl, who obtained comfort, 
 I truft, folid and well grounded : She feemed to be 
 filled with love to Chrift, at the fame time behaved 
 humbly and tenderly, and appeared afraid of noth- 
 ing fo much as of grieving and offending him 
 whom her foul loved. 
 
 Auguji 6. — In the morning I difcourfed to the In- 
 dians at the houfe where we lodged : Many of them 
 were then much affected, and appeared furpjufing- 
 ly tender, fo that a few words about their fouls* con- 
 cerns would caufe the tears to flow freely, and pro- 
 duce many fobs and groans. 
 
 In the afternoon, they being returned to the place 
 where I have ufually preached amongil them, I 
 again difcourfed to them there. There were about 
 fifty five perfons in all, about forty that were capa- 
 ble of attending divine fervice with underflanding : 
 I infilled upon 1 John iv. 10. Herein is love, Sec, 
 
 Y 3 They 
 
12 DIVINE GRACE displayed 
 
 They feemed eager of hearing ; but there appeared 
 nothing very remarkable, except their attention, until 
 near the clofe of my difcourfe, and then divine truths 
 were attended with a furprifing influence, and pro- 
 duced a great concern among them. There was 
 fcarce three in forty that could refrain from tears 
 and bitter cries. They all, as one, feemed in an ago- 
 ny of foul to obtain an intereft in Chrift ; and the 
 rnore I difcourfed of the love and compaffion of God 
 in fending his Son to fuffer for the fins of men ; and 
 the more I invited them to come and partake of his 
 love, the more their diftrefs was aggravated, becaufe 
 they felt themfelves unable to come. 
 
 It was furprifing to fee how their hearts feemed 
 to be pierced with the tender and melting invitations 
 of the gofpel, when there was not a word of terror 
 i'poken to them. 
 
 There were this day two perfons that obtained 
 yelief and comfort, which (when I came to dif- 
 courfe with them particularly) appeared folid, ra- 
 tional and fcriptural. After I had inquired into the 
 grounds of their comfort, and faid many things I 
 thought proper to them, I afked them what they 
 wanted God to do further for them. They replied, 
 they wanted Chrift fhould wipe their hearts quite 
 clean, &c. 
 
 Surprifing were now the doings of the Lord, that 
 I can fay no lefs of this day, and I need fay no more 
 of it, than that the arm of the Lord was powerfully 
 and marvelloully revealed in it. 
 
 Auguji 8. — In the afternoon I preached to the In- 
 dians ; their number was now about fixty five per- 
 fons, men, women, and children : I difcourfed from 
 Luke xiv. 1 6. — 23. and was favoured with uncom- 
 mon freedom in my difcourfe. 
 
 There was much vifible concern among them 
 while I was difcourfing publickly ; but afterwards 
 
 r when 
 
Among the INDIANS. 13 
 
 when I fpoke to one and another more particularly, 
 whom I percieved under much concern, the power 
 of God feemed to defcend upon the affembly like a 
 rujhing mighty wind, and with an aftonifhing ener- 
 gy bore down all before it. 
 
 I flood amazed at the influence that feized the 
 audience almoff. univerfally, and could compare it 
 to nothing more aptly, than the irrefiftibie force of 
 a mighty torrent, or fwelling deluge, that with its 
 infupportable weight and prelTure, bears down and 
 fweeps before it whatever is in its way ! Almoff. all 
 perfons of all ages were bowed down with concern to- 
 gether, and fcarce one was able to withftand the fhock 
 of this furprifing operation ! Old men and women, 
 who had been drunken wretches for many years, and 
 fome little children, not more than fix or feven years 
 of age, appeared in diftrefs for their fouls, as well 
 as perfons of middle age. And it was apparent 
 thefe children (fome of them at leait) were not 
 merely frighted with feeing the general con- 
 cern ; but were made fenfible of their danger, the 
 badnefs of their hearts, and their mifery without 
 Chrift, as flhie of them exprefied it. The moft 
 ftubborn hearts were now obliged to bow. A prin- 
 cipal man among the Indians, who before was moft 
 fecure and felf righteous, and thought his Urate good 
 becaufe he knew more than the generality of the In- 
 dians had formerly done, and who with a great degree 
 of confidence the day before, told me, he had been a 
 chriftian more then ten years, was now brought un- 
 der folemn concern for his foul, nnd wept bitterly. 
 Another man confiderable in years, who had been a 
 murderer, a powwow, (or cunjurer) and a notori- 
 ous drunkard, was like wife brought now to cry for 
 mercy with many tears, and to complain much tbt 
 he could be no more concerned when he faw his 
 danger fo very great. 
 
 Y 4 They 
 
14 DIVINE GRACE displayed 
 
 They were almofi: universally praying and crying 
 for mercy in every part of the houfe, and many out 
 of doors, and numbers could neither go nor ftand : 
 Their concern was fo great, each one for himfelf, that 
 none feemed to take any notice of thofe about them, 
 but each prayed as freely for themfelves, and (I am 
 apt to think) were, to their own apprehenfion, as 
 much retired as if they had been every one by them- 
 felves in the thickeft defert : Or, I believe rather 
 that they thought nothing about any but themielves, 
 and their own ftates, and fo were every one praying 
 apart, although all together. 
 
 It feemed to me there was now an exact fulfilment 
 of that prophefy, Zech. xii. 10. n. 12. for there was 
 now a great mourning, like the mourning of Hadadnm- 
 mon. And each feemed to mourn apart. Methought 
 this had a near refemblance to the day of God's pow- 
 er, mentioned Join. x. 14. fori muft fay, I never" law 
 any day like it in all refpe&s : It was a day wherein, 
 I am perfuaded, the Lord did much to deftroy the 
 kingdom of darknefs among this people. 
 
 This concern in general was moil rational and juft. 
 Thofe who had been awakened any considerable time, 
 complained more efpecially of the badnefs of their 
 hearts ; and thofe newly awakened of the badnefs 
 of their lives and actions pair ; and all were afraid 
 of the anger of God, and of everlafling mifery as 
 the defert of their fins. 
 
 Some of the white people, who came out of curi- 
 ofity to hear what this babbler would fay, to the poor 
 ignorant Indians, were much awakened, and lome 
 appeared to be wounded with a view of their per- 
 ifhing Hate. 
 
 Thofe who had lately obtained relief, were filled 
 with comfort at this feafon ; they appeared calm 
 and compofed, and feemed to rejoice in Chriit Jefus ; 
 And fome of them took their djitrdfed friends by 
 
 the 
 
Among the INDIAN S. fcj 
 
 the hand, telling them of thegoodnefs of Chrift, and 
 the comfort that is to be enjoyed in him, and thence 
 Invited them to come and give up their hearts to him. 
 And I could obferve fome of them in the mod hon- 
 ed and unaffected manner (without any defign of 
 being taken notice of) lifting up their eyes to heaven 
 as if crying for mercy, while they faw the diftrefs 
 of the poor fouls around them. 
 
 There was one remarkable inftance of awakening 
 this day, that I cannot but take particular notice of 
 here. A young Indian woman, who, 1 believe, never 
 knew before that me had a foul, nor ever thought of 
 any fuch thing, hearing that there was fomething 
 itrange among the Indians, came, it leems, to fee 
 what was the matter : She in her way to the Indians, 
 called at my lodgings, and when I told her I deiign- 
 ed prefently to preach to the Indians, laughed and 
 feemed to mock ; but went however to them. I 
 had not proceeded far in my pubiick difcourfe be- 
 fore fhe felt effectually that ihe had a foul, and before 
 I had concluded my difcourfe, was fo convinced of 
 her fin and mifery, and fo difrxeffed with concern 
 for her foul's^lfalvation, that fhe feemed like one 
 pierced through with a dart, and cried out incefiant- 
 ly. She could neither go nor if and, nor fit on her 
 feat without being held up. After pubiick fervice 
 was over, fhe lay flat on the ground, praying earned- 
 ]y, and would take no notice of, nor give any anfwer 
 to any that fpoke to her. I hearkened to hear what 
 ihe faid, and perceived the burden of her prayer to 
 be, Guttummaukalummeh wechaumeh hneleh Ndah, i. e. 
 Have mercy on me, and help me to give you my heart* 
 And thus ihe continued praying inceflantly for many 
 hours together. 
 
 This was indeed a furprifing day of God's 
 power, and feemed enough to convince an atheiit of 
 the truth, importance and power of God's word. 
 
 Auguji 
 
16 DIVINE GRACE displayed 
 
 Augujl 9. — Spent almofl the whole day with the 
 Indians, the former part of it in difcourfing to ma- 
 ny of them privately, and efpecially to fome who 
 had lately received comfort, and endeavouring to 
 inquire into the grounds of it, as well as to give them 
 fome proper inftructions, cautions and directions. 
 
 In the afternoon difcourfed to them publickly. 
 There were now prefent about feventy perfons, old 
 and young. I opened and applied the parable of 
 the fower, Matth. xiii. Was enabled to difcourfe 
 with much plainnefs, and found afterwards that this 
 difcourfe was very inftructive to them. There were 
 many tears among them while I was difcourfing 
 publickly, but no considerable cry : Yet fome were 
 much affected with a few words fpoken from 
 Matth. xi. 28. with which I concluded my difcourfe. 
 But while I was difcourfing near night to two or 
 three of the awakened perfons, a divine influence 
 feemed to attend what was fpoken to them in a pow- 
 erful manner, which caufed the perfons to cry out 
 in anguifh of foul, although I fpoke not a word of 
 terror, but on the contrary, fet before them the ful- 
 nefs and allfufficiency of Chrift's m&its, and his 
 willingnefs to fave all that came to him ; and there- 
 upon preffed them to come without delay. 
 
 The cry of thefe was foon heard by others, who, 
 though fcattered before, immediately gathered round. 
 I then proceeded in the fame ftrain of gofpel invita- 
 tion, until they were all melted into tears and cries, 
 except two or three ; and feemed in the greateft dif- 
 trefs to find and fecure an intereft in the great Re- 
 deemer. Some who had but little more than a ruf- 
 fle made in their paflions the day before, feemed 
 now to be deeply affected and wounded at heart : 
 And the concern in general appeared near as preva- 
 lent as it was the day before. There was indeed a 
 very great mourning among them, and yet every one 
 
 feemed 
 
Among the INDIANS. 17 
 
 feemed to mourn apart. For fo great was their con- 
 cern, that almoft every one was praying and crying 
 for himfelf, as if none had been near, Guttummau- 
 kalummeh, guttummaukalummeh : i. e. Have mer- 
 cy upon me, have mercy upon me, was the common 
 cry. 
 
 It was very affecting to fee the poor Indians, who 
 the other day were hollowing and yelling in their 
 idolatrous feafts and drunken frolicks, now crying 
 to God with fuch importunity for an interefl in his 
 dear Son. 
 
 Lord's Day, Augujl 1 1 . — Difcourfed in the fore- 
 noon from the parable of the prodigal fon, Luke xv. 
 Obferved no fuch remarkable effecl: of the word up- 
 on the aflembly as in days paft. There were num- 
 bers ofcarelefs fpectators of the white people ; fome 
 Quakers and others. 
 
 In the afternoon I difcourfed upon a part of St. 
 Peter's ferrnon, Acts ii. And at the clofe of my 
 difcourfe to the Indians, made an addrefs to the 
 white people, and divine truths feemed then to be 
 attended with power both to Englifh and Indians. 
 Several of the white heathen were awakened, and 
 could not longer be idle fpectators, but found they 
 had fouls to fave or lofe as well as the Indians, and 
 a great concern fpread through the whole affembly, 
 fo that this alfo appeared to be a day of God's pow- 
 er, efpecially towards the conclusion of it, as well as 
 feveral of the former, although thelnfluence attend- 
 ing the word feemed fcarce fo powerful now, as in 
 fome days paft. 
 
 The number of the Indians, old and young, was 
 now upwards of feventy, and one or two were new- 
 ly awakened this day, who never had appeared to be 
 moved with concern for their fouls before. 
 
 Thofe that had obtained relief and comfort, and 
 ^ad given hopeful evidences of having pafled a lay- 
 ing 
 
i8 DIVINE GRACE displayed 
 
 ing change, appeared humble and devout, and be- 
 haved in an agreeable and chriftian manner. I was 
 refrefhed to fee the tendernefs of confcience manifeft 
 in fome of them ; one inftance of which I cannot but 
 take notice of. Perceiving one of them very forrow- 
 ful in the morning, I inquired into the caufe of her 
 ibrrow, and found the difficulty was, (he had been 
 angry with her child the evening before, and was 
 now exercifed with fears, left her anger had been in- 
 ordinate and finful, which fo grieved her that fhe 
 waked and began to fob before daylight, and con- 
 tinued weeping for feveral hours together. 
 
 Auguji 14. — Spent the day with the Indians. 
 There was one of them who had fome time fince 
 put away his wife, as is common among them, and 
 taken another woman, and being now brought un- 
 der fome ferious impreffions, was much concerned 
 about that affair in particular, and feemed fully con- 
 vinced of the wickednefs of that practice, and earn- 
 eftly defirous to know what God would have him 
 do inhisprefent circumftances. When the law of 
 God refpe&ing marriage had been opened to them, 
 and the caufe of his leaving his wife inquired into ; 
 and when it appeared fhe had given him no juft oc- 
 cafion by unchaftity to defert her, and that fhe was 
 willing to forgive his paft mifcondudt, and to live 
 peaceably with him for the future, and that fhe 
 moreover infifted on it as her right to enjoy him ; 
 he was then told, that it was his indifpenfable duty 
 to renounce the woman he had laft taken, and re- 
 ceive the other who was his proper wife, and live 
 peaceably with her during life • with which he read- 
 ily and cheerfully complied, and thereupon publick- 
 ly renounced the woman he hadlafl taken, and pub- 
 lickly promifed to live with and be kind to his wife 
 during life, fhe alfo promifing the fame to him. 
 And here appeared a clear demonft ration of the 
 
 power 
 
Among the INDIANS. 19 
 
 power of God's word upon their hearts. I iiippofe 
 a few weeks before the whole world could not have 
 perfuaded this man to a compliance with chriftian 
 rules in this affair. 
 
 Augufi 16. — Spent confiderable time in converting 
 privately with fundry of the Indians. Found one 
 that had got relief and comfort, after preiling con- 
 cern, and could not but hope, when I came to dif- 
 courfe particularly with her, that her comfort was of 
 the right kind. 
 
 In the afternoon preached to them from John vi. 
 26. — 34. Toward the clofe of my difcourfe, divine 
 truths were attended with confiderable power upon 
 the audience, and more efpecially after publick fer- 
 vice was over, when I particularly addrefled fundry 
 diftreffed perfons. 
 
 There was a great concern for their fouls fpread 
 pretty generally among them : But efpecially there 
 were two perfons newly awakened to a fenfe of their 
 fin and mifery, one of whom was lately come, and 
 the other had all along been very attentive, and de- 
 firous of being awakened, but could never before 
 have any lively view of her perilling irate. But 
 now her concern and fpiritual diftrefs was fuch, that 
 I thought, I had never feen any more preiling. Sun- 
 dry old men were alfo in diftrefs for their fouls ; i'o 
 that they could not refrain from weeping and crying 
 out aloud, and their bitter groans were the mod con- 
 vincing as well as affecting evidence of the reality 
 and depth of their inward anguifh. God is pow- 
 erfully at work among them I True and genuine 
 convictions of fin are daily promoted in many in- 
 stances, and fome are newly awakened from time to 
 time j although fome few, who felt a commotion in 
 their paffions in days pail, feem now to difcover that 
 their hearts were never duly affected. I never favv 
 the work of God appear fo independent of means as 
 
 at 
 
20 DIVINE GRACE displayed 
 
 at this time. Idifcourfed to the people, and fpoke what 
 I fuppofe had a proper tendency to promote convic- 
 tions, and God's manner of working upon them ap- 
 peared fo entirely fiipernatural, and above means, that 
 Icouldfcarce believe he ufed me as an inftrument, or 
 what I fpake as means of carrying on his work : 
 For it feemed, as I thought, to have no connexion 
 with, or dependence upon means in any refpedt. 
 And although I could not but continue to uie the 
 means I thought proper for the promotion of the 
 work, yet God feemed, as I apprehended, to work 
 entirely without them : So that I feemed to do noth- 
 ing, and indeed to have nothing to do, but to Jland 
 ftill and fee the falvation of God, and found myfelf 
 obliged and delighted to fay, Not unto us, not unto 
 inftruments and means, but to thy name be glory. 
 God appeared to work entirely alone, and I faw no 
 room to attribute any part of this work to any cre« 
 ated arm. 
 
 Lord's Day, Augufl 25. — Preached in the fore- 
 noon from Luke xv. 3. — 7. There being a multi- 
 tude of white people prefent, I made an addrefs to 
 them at the clofe of my difcourfe to the Indians : 
 But could not {o much as keep them orderly ; for 
 fcores of them kept walking and gazing about, and 
 behaved more indecently than any Indians I ever ad- 
 drelTed ; and a view of their abuiive conduit io 
 funk my fpirits, that I could fcarce go on with my 
 work. 
 
 In the afternoon difcourfed from Rev. iii. 20. At 
 which time the Indians behaved ferioufly, though 
 many others were vain. 
 
 Afterwards baptized twenty five perfons of the 
 Indians, fifteen adults and ten children. Moft of 
 the adults I have comfortable rcafon to hope are re- 
 newed perfons, and there was not one of them but 
 what 1 entertained feme hopes of in that refpedt, 
 
 though 
 
Among the INDIANS. 21 
 
 though the cafe of two or three of them appeared 
 more doubtful, 
 
 After the crowd of fpe&ators was gone, I called 
 the baptized perfons together, and difcourled to 
 thern in particular, at the fame time inviting others 
 to attend, minded them of the folemn obligations 
 they were now under to live to God, warned them 
 of the evil and dreadful confequences of carelefs liv- 
 ing, efpecially after this publick profeffion of chrif- 
 tianity ; gave them directions for their future con- 
 duct, and encouraged them to watchfulnefs and de- 
 votion, by fetting before them the comfort and hap- 
 py conclufion of a religious life. This was a defer- 
 able and fweet feafon indeed ! Their hearts were en- 
 gaged and cheerful in duty, and they rejoiced that 
 they had in a publick and folemn manner dedicated 
 themfelves to God. Love feemed to reien amono* 
 them ! They took each other by the hand with ten- 
 dernefs and affection, as if their hearts were knit to- 
 gether, while I was difcourfing to them : And all 
 their deportment toward each other was fuch, that 
 a ferious fpectator might juftly be excited to cry out 
 with admiration, Behold how they love one another ! 
 Sundry of the other Indians at feeing and hearing 
 thefe things, were much affected and wept bitterly, 
 longing to be partakers of the fame joy and comfort 
 that thefe difcovered by their very countenances as 
 well as con duel:. 
 
 Augujl 26. — Preached to my people from John 
 vi. 51. — 55. After I had difcourfed fome time, I 
 addrelTed thofe in particular who entertained hopes 
 that they were pajfedfrom death to life. Opened to 
 them the perfevering nature of thofe confolations 
 Chrift gives his people, and which I trufted he had 
 beflowed upon fome in that aflembly, mewed them 
 -that fuch have already the beginnings of eternal life y 
 verfe 54. and that their heaven mail fpcedily be 
 
 I 
 
22 DIVINE GRACE displayed 
 
 I no fooner began to difcourfe in this (train, but 
 the dear chriftians in the congregation began to be 
 melted with affection to, and defire of the enjoyment 
 of Chrift, and of a ftate of perfect purity. They 
 wept affectionately and yet joyfully, and their tears 
 and fobs difcovered brokennefs of heart, and yet 
 were attended with real comfort and fweetnefs, fo 
 that this was a tender, affe&ionate, humble, delight- 
 ful melting, and appeared to be the genuine effect 
 of a fpirit of adoption, and very far from that fpirit 
 of bondage that they not long fince laboured under. 
 The influence feemed to fpread from thefe through 
 the whole affembly, and there quickly appeared a 
 wonderful concern among them. Many who had 
 not yet found Chrift as an allfufficient Saviour, were 
 furprifingly engaged in feeking after him. It was 
 indeed a lovely and very defirable affembly. Their 
 number was now about ninety five perfons, old and 
 young, and almoft all affected either with joy in 
 Chrift Jefus, or with utmoft concern to obtain an in- 
 tereft in him. 
 
 Being fully convinced it was now my duty to take 
 a journey far back to the Indians on Sufquchannah 
 river, it being now a proper feafon of the year to 
 find them generally at home, after having fpent 
 fome hours in publick and private difcourfes with 
 my people, I told them that I muft now leave them 
 for the prefent, and go to their brethren far remote 
 and preach to them : That I wanted the Spirit of God 
 mould go with me, without whom nothing could be 
 done to any good purpofe among the Indians, as 
 they themfelves had had opportunity to fee and ob- 
 ferve by the barrennefs of our meetings at fome 
 times, when there was much pains taken to effect 
 and awaken finners, and yet to little or no purpofe : 
 And afked them if they could not be willing to fpend 
 the remainder of the day in prayer for me, that God 
 
 would 
 
Among the INDIANS. 23 
 
 would go with me, and fucceed my endeavours, for 
 the con verfion of thofe poor fouls. They cheerfully 
 complied with the motion, and foon after 1 left them, 
 the fun being then about an hour and half high at 
 night, they began, and continued praying all night, 
 until break of day, or very near, never miftrufting, 
 they tell me, until they went out and viewed the ftars, 
 and faw the morning ftar a considerable height, that 
 it was later than common bed time. Thus eager 
 and unwearied were they in their devotions ! A re- 
 markable night it was, attended, as my interpreter 
 tells me, with a powerful influence upon thofe who 
 were yet under concern, as well as thofe that had re- 
 ceived comfort. 
 
 There were, I trull:, this day, two diftreffed fouls 
 brought to the enjoyment of folid comfort in him, in 
 whom the weary find reft. 
 
 It was likewife remarkable that, this day, an old 
 Indian, who has all his days been an obftinate idol- 
 ater, was brought to give up his rattles, which they 
 ufe for muiick in their idolatrous feafts and dances, 
 to the other Indians, who quickly deftroyed them, 
 and this without any attempt of mine, in the affair, 
 I having faid nothing to him about it ; fo that it feem- 
 ed it was nothing but juft the power of God's word, 
 without any particular application to this fin, that 
 produced this effect. Thus God has begun, thus he 
 has hitherto furprifingly carried on, a work of grace 
 amongft thefe Indians. May the glory be afcribed 
 to him, who is the fole author of it. 
 
 Forks of Delaware, in Pennfylvania, 17450 
 
 September 19. — Vifited an Indian town called Ju~ 
 
 neauta, fituate on an ifiand in Sufquehannah. Was 
 
 much difcouraged with the temper and behaviour 
 
 of the Indians here, although they appeared friendly 
 
 Z when 
 
<z\ DIVINE GRACE displayed 
 
 when I was with them the laft fpring, and then 
 gave me encouragement to come and fee them again : 
 But they now feemed refolved to retain their pagan 
 notions, and perfifr. in their idolatrous practices. 
 
 September 20. — Vifited the Indians again at Ju- 
 neauta Ifland, and found them almofl univerfal- 
 ly very bufy in making preparations for a great 
 facrifice and dance. Had no opportunity to get 
 them together in order to difcourfe with them about 
 chriftianity,by reafon of their being fo much engag- 
 ed about their facrifice. My fpirits were much funk 
 with a profpedt fo very difcouraging, and efpecially 
 feeing I had now no interpreter but a pagan, who 
 was as much attached to idolatry as any of them, 
 (my own interpreter having left me the day before, 
 being obliged to attend upon fome important bufi- 
 nefs otherwhere, and knowing that he could neither 
 fpeak nor underftand the language of thefe Indians) 
 fo that I was under the greateft difadvantages imagin- 
 able ; however, I attempted to difcourfe privately 
 with fome of them, but without any appearance of 
 fuccefs : Notwithstanding, I ftill tarried with them. 
 
 In the evening they met together, near a hundred 
 of them, and danced round a large fire, having pre- 
 pared ten fat deer for the facrifice ; the fat of whofe 
 inwards they burned in the fire, while they were 
 dancing, and fometimes raifed the flame to a pro- 
 digious height, at the fame time yelling and mout- 
 ing in fuch a manner, that they might eafily have 
 been heard two miles or more. 
 
 They continued their facred dance all night, or 
 near the matter ; after which they ate the flefh of 
 the facrifice, and fo retired each one to his lodging. 
 
 I enjoyed little fatisfa&ion this night, being en- 
 tirely alone on the ifland, as to any chriftian com- 
 pany, and in the midff. of this idolatrous revel ; and 
 having walked to and fro until body and mind were 
 
 pained 
 
Among the INDIANS. £5 
 
 pained and much oppreffed, I at length crept into a 
 little crib made for corn, and there flept on the poles. 
 
 Lord's Day, September 21. — Spent the day with 
 the Indians on the ifland. As foon as they were 
 well up in the morning, I attempted to inftruct 
 them, and laboured for that purpofe to get them to- 
 gether, but quickly found they had fomething elfe 
 to do ; for near noon they gathered together all their 
 powwows, or conjurers, and fet about half a dozen 
 of them to playing their juggling tricks, and acting 
 their frantick detracted poftures, in order to find out 
 why they were then lb fickly upon the ifland, num- 
 bers of them being at that time difordered with a 
 fever and bloody flux. In this exercife they were en- 
 gaged for feveral hours, making all the wild, ridicu- 
 lous and diffracted motions imaginable ; fometimes 
 finging, fometimes howling, fometimes extending 
 their hands to the utmoft ftretch, fpreading all their 
 fingers, and feemed to pufh with them, as if they 
 defigned to fright fomething away, or, at leaft, keep 
 it off at arm's end; fometimes ftroking their faces 
 with their hands, then fpurting water as fine as mill: 1 
 fometimes fetting flat on the earth, then bowing 
 down, their faces to the ground \ wringing their fides 
 as if in pain and anguifh ; twifting their faces, turn- 
 ing up their eyes, grunting, puffing, &c. 
 
 Their monftrous actions tended to excite ideas of 
 horror, and feemed to have fomething in them, as I 
 thought, peculiarly fuited to raife the devil, if he* 
 could be raifed by any thing odd, ridiculous and 
 frightful. Some of them I could obferve were much 
 more fervent and devout in the bufinefs than others, 
 and feemed to chant, peep and mutter with a great 
 degree of warmth and vigour, as if determined to 
 awaken and engage the powers below. I fat at a 
 fmall diftance, not more than thirty feet from them, 
 though undifcovered, with my Bible in my hand, 
 
 Z 2 refolving 
 
s6 D I V I N E G R A C E displayed 
 
 revolving if poflible to fpoil their fport, and prevent 
 their receiving any anfwers from the infernal world, 
 and there viewed the whole fcene. They continued 
 their hideous charms and incantations for more than 
 three hours, until they had all wearied themfelves 
 out, although they had in that fpace of time taken 
 fundry intervals of reft, and at length broke up, I ap- 
 x prehended, without receiving any anfwer at all. 
 
 After they had done powwowing, I attempted to 
 difcourfe with them about chriftianity j but they 
 foon fcattered, and gave me no opportunity for any 
 thing of that nature. 
 
 Crosweeksung, in New-Jerfey, 1745. 
 
 1 
 
 Preached to my people from John xiv. 1. — 6. 
 The divine prefence feemed to be in the affembly. 
 Numbers were affected with divine truths, and it 
 was a feafon of comfort tofome in particular. 
 
 O ! what a difference is there between thefe and 
 the Indians I had lately treated with upon Sufque- 
 hannah ! w To be with thofe feemed like being ban- 
 ifhed from God and all his people ; to be with thefe 
 like being admitted into his family, and to the en- 
 joyment of his divine prefence ! How great is the 
 change lately made upon numbers of thefe Indians, 
 who not many months ago were many of them as 
 thoughtlefs, and averfe to chriftianity, as thofe upon 
 Sufquehannah ! And how aftonilhing is that grace 
 that has made this change ! 
 
 Lord's Day y Otiober 6. — Preached in the forenoon 
 from John x. 7. — 11. There was a considerable 
 melting among my people, the dear young christ- 
 ians were refrefhed, comforted and ftrengthened, 
 and one or two perfons newly awakened. 
 
 In the afternoon I difcourfed on the ftory of the 
 jailor, Ads xvi. and in the evening expounded Acts 
 
 xx. 
 
Among the -I N D I AN S. 37 
 
 xx. 1. — 12. There was at this time a very agreea- 
 ble melting fp read through the whole affembly. I 
 think I icarce ever faw a more defirable affection in 
 any number of people in my life. There was fcarce 
 a dry eye to be feen among them, and yet nothing 
 boifterous or unfeemly, nothing that tended to dif- 
 turb the publick worfhip ; but rather to encourage 
 anci excite a chriftian ardour and fpirit of devotion. 
 
 Thofe, who I have* reafon to hope were favingly 
 renewed, were firft affected, and feemed to rejoice 
 much, but with brokennefs of fpiritand godly fear; 
 their exercifes were much the fame with thofe men- 
 tioned in my Journal of Auguft 26, evidently ap- 
 pearing to be the genuine effect of a fpirit of adop- 
 tion. 
 
 After publick fervice was over I withdrew, being 
 much tired with the labours of the day, and the In- 
 dians continued praying among themfelves. for near 
 two hours together, which continued exercifes ap- 
 peared to be attended with a bleffed quickening in- 
 fluence from on high. 
 
 I could not but earneftly wiffi that numbers of 
 God's people had been prefent at this feafo*n, to fee 
 and hear thefe things, which I am fure muft refrefh 
 the heart of every true lover of Zion*s intereft. To 
 fee thofe, who very lately were favage pagans and 
 idolaters, having no hope, and without God in 
 the- r jDorld, now filled with a fenfe of divine love and 
 grace, and worshipping the Father in fpirit and in 
 truth, as numbers here appeared to do f was not a 
 little affecting; and efpecially to fee them appear fo 
 tender and humble, as well as lively, fervent and de- 
 vout in the divine fervice. 
 
 OHober 24. — Difcourfed from John iv. 13. 14, 
 
 There was a great attention, a defirable affection, 
 
 and an unaffected melting in the affembly. It is 
 
 furprifing to iee how eager they are of hearing the 
 
 Z 3 word 
 
a8 DIVINE GRACE displayed 
 
 word of God. I have oftentimes thought they would 
 cheerfully and diligently attend divine worfhip twen- 
 ty four hours together, had they an opportunity fo 
 to do. 
 
 OElober<i$. — Difcourfed to my people refpecting 
 the refurrection, from Luke xx. 27. — 36. And 
 when I came to mention the bleffednefs the godly 
 fhall enjoy at that feafon, their final freedom from 
 death, fin and forrow ; their equality to the angels 
 in regard of their nearnefs to and enjoyment of 
 Chrift ; fome imperfect degree of which they are 
 favoured with in the prefent life, from whence 
 fprings their fweeteft comfort ; and their being the 
 children of God, openly acknowledged by him as 
 fuch : I fay, when I mentioned thefe things, num- 
 bers of ihem were much affected, and melted with a 
 view of this bleffed ftate. 
 
 Ot~lober%%.— Difcourfed from Matth. xxii. 1.— 13. 
 I was enabled to open the fcripture, and adapt my 
 difcourfe and expreffions to the capacities of my 
 people I know not how, in a plain, eafy, and famil- 
 iar manner, beyond all that I could have done by 
 the utmoft ftudy : And this, without any fpecial 
 difficulty, with as much freedom as if I had been 
 addrefling a common audience, who had been in- 
 ftructed in the doctrine of chriftianity all their days. 
 
 The word of God at this time feemed to fall up- 
 on the aiTembly with a divine power and influence, 
 efpecially toward the clofe of my difcourfe : There 
 was both a fweet melting and bitter mourning in the 
 audience. The dear chriftians were refrefhed and 
 comforted, convictions revived in others, and fundry 
 perfons newly awakened who had never been with 
 us before; and fo much of the divine prefence ap- 
 peared in the aiTembly, that it feemed, this was none 
 other than the houfe of God, and the gate of heaven. 
 And all that had any favour and rejifh of divine 
 
 things 
 
Among the INDIAN S. 29 
 
 things were even conftrained by the fvveetnefs ofrtiat 
 feafon to fay, Lord, it is good for us to be here. If ever 
 there was amongft my people an appearance of the 
 New-Jerufalem, as a bride adorned for her hufband, 
 there was much of it at this time ; and fo agreeable 
 was the entertainment where fuch tokens of the di- 
 vine prefence were, that I could fcarce be willing in 
 the evening to leave the place, and repair to my 
 lodgings. I was refrefhed with a view of the con- 
 tinuance of this blefled work of grace among them, 
 and its influence upon ftrangers of the Indians that 
 had of late, from time to time, providentially fallen 
 into thefe parts. 
 
 Lord's Day, November 3. — Preached to my people 
 from Luke xvi. 17. more efpecially for the fake of 
 feveral lately brought under deep concern for their 
 fouls. There was fome apparent concern and affec- 
 tion in the aifembly, though far lefs than has been 
 ufual of late. 
 
 Afterwards I baptized fourteen perfons of the In- 
 dians, fix adults and eight children : One of thefe 
 was near fourfcore years of age, and I have reafon 
 to hope God has brought her favingly home to him- 
 felf : Two of the others were men of fifty years old, 
 who had been lingular and remarkable, even among 
 the Indians, for their wickednefs. One of them had 
 been a murderer, and both notorious drunkards as 
 well as exceilive quarrelfome j but now I cannot 
 but hope both are become fubjedts of God's fpecial 
 grace, efpecially theworfl of them. I deferred their 
 baptifm for many weeks after they had given evi- 
 dences of having paffed a great change, that I might 
 have more opportunities to obferve the fruits of thofe 
 impreffions they had been under, and apprehended 
 the way was now clear : And there was not one of 
 the adults I baptized, but what had given me fome 
 comfortable grounds to hope, that God had wrought 
 
 Z4 a 
 
30 DIVINE GRACE displayed 
 
 a work of fpecial grace in their hearts ; although I 
 could not have the fame degree of fatisfaction re- 
 specting one or two of them, as the reft. 
 
 November 4. — Difcourfed from John xi. briefly 
 explaining moil of the chapter. Divine truths made 
 deep impreflionsupon many in the affembly ; num- 
 bers were affected with a view of the power of 
 Chrift, manifefted in his railing the dead, and ef- 
 pecially when this inftance of his power was im- 
 proved to (hew his power and ability to raife dead fouls, 
 fuch as many of them then felt themfelves to be, to 
 afpirituallife: As alfo to raife the dead at the laftday,' 
 and difpenfe to them due rewards and punifhments. 
 
 There were fundry of the perfons lately come here 
 from remote places, that were now brought under 
 deep and preffmg concern for their fouls, particu- 
 larly one, who not long fince came half drunk, and 
 railed on us, and attempted by all means to difturb 
 us while engaged in the divine worfhip, was now fo 
 concerned and diftreffed for her foul, that fhe feem- 
 ed unable to get any eafe without an intereft in 
 Chrift. There were many tears and affectionate fobs, 
 and groans in the affembly in general, fome weep- 
 ing for themfelves, others for their friends. And 
 although perfons are doubtlefs much eafier affected 
 now, than they were in the beginning of this relig- . 
 ious concern, when tears and cries for their fouls 
 were things unheard of among them, yet I muft fay, 
 their affection in general appeared genuine and un- 
 feigned ; and efpecially this appeared very confpic- 
 uous in thofe newly awakened. So that true and 
 genuine convictions of fin, feem ftill to be begun " 
 and promoted in many inftances. 
 
 Baptized a child this day, and perceived fundry 
 of the baptized perfons affected with the adminiftra- 
 tion of this ordinance, as being thereby minded of 
 their own folemn engagements. 
 
 I 
 
Among the INDIANS. 3r 
 
 I have now baptized in all forty feven perfons of 
 the Indians, twenty three adults, and twenty four 
 children. Thirty five of them belonging to thefe 
 parts, and the reft to the Forks of Delaware : And, 
 through rich grace, they have none of them as 
 yet been left to difgrace their profclTion of chrif- 
 tianity by any fcandalous or unbecoming beha- 
 viour. 
 
 Lord's Day y November 24. — Preached both parts of 
 the day from the ftory of Zaccheus, Luke xix. 1 . — 9. 
 In the latter exercife, when I opened and infilled 
 upon the falvation that comes to the iinner, upon 
 his becoming a fon of Abraham, or a true believer, 
 the word feemed to be attended with divine pow- 
 er to the hearts of the hearers. Numbers were 
 much affected with divine truths. Former con- 
 victions were revived. One or two perfons newly 
 awakened. And a mofl affectionate engagement 
 in divine fervice appeared among them univer- 
 fally. 
 
 The impreiTions they were under appeared to be 
 the genuine effect of God's word brought home to 
 their hearts, by the power and influence of the Di- 
 vine Spirit. 
 
 November 26. — Afterhaving fpent fome time in pri- 
 vate conferences with my people, I difcourfed pub- 
 lickly among them, from John v. 19. I was favour- 
 ed with fome fpecial freedom and fervency in my 
 difcourfe, and a powerful energy accompanied di- 
 vine truths. Many wept and fobbed affectionately, 
 and fcarce any appeared unconcerned in the whole 
 affembly. The influence that feized the audience 
 appeared gentle, and yet pungent and efficacious. 
 It produced no boifterous commotion of the paf- 
 /ions, but feemed deeply to affect the heart ; and 
 excited in the perfons under convictions of their loll 
 ftate, heavy groans and tears. And in others who 
 
 had 
 
32 DIVINE GRACE displayed 
 
 had obtained comfort, a fweet and humble melting. 
 It Teemed like the gentle but ffeady fhowers that 
 effectually water the earth, without violently beat- 
 ing upon the furface. 
 
 November 30. — Preached near night, after having 
 fpent fome hours in private conference with fome 
 of my people about their fouls* concerns. Explain- • 
 ed and infilled upon the flory of the rich man and 
 Lazarus, Luke xvi. 19. — 26. The word made 
 powerful impreillons upon many in the afTembly, 
 efpecially while 1 difcourfed of the bleffednefs of 
 Lazarus in Abraham's bofom. 
 
 Lord's Day, December 1. — Difcourfed to my peo- 
 ple, in the forenoon, from Luke xvi. 27. — 31 . There 
 appeared an unfeigned affection in divers perfons, 
 and fome feemed deeply impreifed with divine 
 truths. 
 
 Lord's Day, December 8. — Difcourfed on the ftory 
 of the blind man, John ix. There appeared no re- 
 markable effect of the word upon the alTembly at 
 this time. The perfons who have lately been much' 
 concerned for their fouls, feemed now not fo affect-' 
 ed nor folicitous to obtain an interel/t in Chrift as 
 has been ufual ; although they attended divine fer-: 
 vice with ferioufnefs and diligence. 
 
 Such have been the doings of the Lord here, in 
 awakening finners, and affecting the hearts of thofe* 
 who are brought to folid comfort, with a frefh fenfe: 
 of divine things from time to time, that it is now- 
 ftrange to fee the'alTembly lit with dry eyes, and" 
 without fobs and groans ! 
 
 Lord's Day, December 15. — Preached to the In- 
 dians from, Luke xiii. 24. — 28. Divine truths fell 
 with weight and power upon the audience, and 
 feemed to reach the hearts of many. Near night 
 difcourfed to them again from Matth. xxv, 31.— 46. 
 At which feafon alfo, the word appeared to'be ac- 
 companied 
 
Among the INDIANS. 33 
 
 companied with a divine influence, and made pow- 
 erful impreffions upon the affembly in general, as 
 well as upon divers perfons in a very fpecial and 
 particular manner. This was an amazing feafon 
 of grace ! The word of the Lord, this day, was quick 
 and powerful y jharper than a two edged fword, and 
 pierced to the hearts of many. The affembly was 
 greatly affected, and deeply wrought upon ; yet 
 without fo much apparent commotion of the paf-' 
 fions, as was ufual in the beginning of this work of 
 grace. The impreflions made by the word of God 
 upon the audience, appeared folid, rational and deep, 
 worthy of the folemn truths by means of which 
 they were produced, and far from being the effects 
 of any fudden fright or groundlefs perturbation of 
 mind. 
 
 O, how did the hearts of the hearers feem to bow 
 under the weight of divine truths! x^nd how evident 
 did it now appear that they received and felt them, not 
 as the word of man but as the word of God ! None, 
 can frame a juft idea of the appearance of ouralTem- 
 bly at this time, but thofe who have feen a congrega- 
 tion folemnly awed, and deeply imprefled by the 
 fpecial power and influence of divine truths deliver- 
 ed to them in the name of God ! 
 
 December 16. — Difcourfed to my people in the 
 evening from Luke xi. 1. — 13. There was much; 
 affection and concern in the affembly ; and efpecial- 
 ly one woman appeared in great diftrefs for her fouL 
 She was brought to fuch an agony in feeking after 
 Chrift, that the fweat ran off her face for a con-, 
 fiderable time together, although the evening 
 was very cold ; and her bitter cries were the molt 
 affecting indication of the inward anguilh of her 
 
 heart. 
 
 - 
 
 Lord's Day, December 22, — Difcourfed upon the 
 ftory of the young man in the gofpel, Matth. ix. 
 
 16.— 22, 
 
34 DIVINE GRACE displayed 
 
 16 — 22. God made it a feafonable word, I am per- 
 fuaded, to fome fouls. 
 
 There were fundry perfons of the Indians newly 
 come here, who had frequently lived among Qua- 
 kers, and being more civilized and conformed to 
 Englim manners than the generality of Indians, they 
 bad imbibed fome of the Quakers* errors ; efpecially 
 this fundamental one, viz. That if men will but 
 Vive foberly and honeftly, according to the dictates 
 of their own confciences (or the light within) there 
 is then no danger or doubt of their falvation, &c. 
 Thefe perfons I found much worfe to deal with 
 than thofe who are wholly under pagan darknefs, 
 who make no pretences to knowledge in chrifti- 
 anity at all, nor have any felf righteous foundation 
 to ftand upon. However, they all, except one, ap- 
 peared now convinced, that this fober honefr. life of 
 itfelf, was not fufficient to falvation ; fince Chrift 
 liimfelf had declared it fo in the cafe of the young 
 man. And feemed, in fome meafure, concerned to 
 obtain that change of heart which I had been labour- 
 ing to mew them the neceflity of. 
 
 This was likewife a feafon of comfort to feme 
 fouls, and in particular to one (the fame mentioned 
 in my journal of the 16th inftant) who never before 
 obtained any fettled comfort, though I have abun- 
 dant reafon to think fhe had paiTed a faving change 
 fome days before. 
 
 She now appeared in a heavenly frame of mind, 
 compofed and delighted with the divine will. Wheir 
 I came to difcourfe particularly with her, and to in- 
 quire of her, how fhe got relief and deliverance from 
 the fpiritual diitrefFes me had lately been under, fhe 
 anfwered in broken Englifh, Me try, me try, fave 
 myfelf, laft my ftrength be all gone, (meaning her 
 ability to fave herfelf) coud'nt me ftir bit further. 
 Den laft, me fore'd let Jefus Chrift alone, fend me. 
 
 hell 
 
Among the INDIANS, $$ 
 
 hell if he pleafe*. I faid, But you was not w: 
 to go to hell, was you ? She replied, Could not me 
 help it. My heart he would wicked for all. Could 
 not me make him good-f*, (meaning ihe faw it was 
 right fhe mould go to hell, became her heart was 
 wicked, and would be fo after all ihe could do to 
 mend it.) I afked her, how fhe got out cf this cafe. 
 She anfvvered {till in the fame broken language, By 
 by my heart be grad defperately. I afked her, why 
 her heart was glad. She replied, Grad my hesrt 
 Jefus Chrift do what he pleafe with me. Den me 
 tink, grad my heart Jefus Chrift fend me hell. Did'«t 
 me care where he put me, me lobe him for all J, &c. 
 
 And (lie could not readily be convinced, but that 
 (lie was willing to go to hell, if Chrift was pleafed 
 to fend her there. Though the truth evidently was, 
 her will was fo fwallowed up in the divine will, 
 that fhe could not frame any hell in her imagination 
 that would be dreadful or undefirable, provided it 
 was but the will of God to fend her to it. 
 
 Towards night difcourfed to them again in the 
 catechetical method I entered upon the evening be- 
 fore. And when I came to improve the truths i 
 had explained to them, and to anfwer that queliion,, 
 But how (hall I know whether God hath chofen m« 
 to everlafting life ? by preffing them to come and 
 give up their hearts to Chrift, and thereby to make 
 their election fure, they then appeared much affect- 
 ed : And the perfons under concern were afrefh en- 
 gaged in feeking after an infereft in him ; while 
 fome others, who had obtained comfort before., w 7 ere 
 
 refrefhed 
 
 * In proper Englifh, tbliS, I tried and tried to fsve myftif, until at laft my lirengtii 
 was all gone, ar.d I could not ftir any fuither. Then, at lail, 1 was forced to i!«* 
 Jefus Chrift alone to fend me to hell it he pleated. 
 
 t In plain Ehglifti, thus, I could not help it. My heart would be wicked for aH 
 what I could do. I could not make it pood. 
 
 + tty and by rr.y heart was exceeding glad. My heart was z'lad that Jelus Chrift 
 would do toith rr.e what he pleafed. Then 1 thought ray heart would be ,-';! 
 although Ciniil fhould fend me to hell. I did not care w-licre he pat xnc, J fiiould 
 iove h;ra fvr all, i, e, do what he would with me. 
 
S6 D I V I N.E G R A C E displayed 
 
 refrefhed to find that love to God in themfelves, 
 which was an evidence of his electing love to them. 
 
 December 25. — The Indians having been ufed upon 
 Chriftmas days to drink and revel among fome of the 
 white people in thefe parts, I thought it proper this 
 day to call them together and difcoude to them 
 upon divine things ; which I accordingly did from 
 the parable of the barren fig tree, Luke xiii. 6. — 9. 
 A divine influence, I am perfuaded, accompanied 
 theJword at this feafon. The power of God appear- 
 ed in the aflfembly, not by producing any remarka- 
 ble cries, but by Shocking and roufing at heart, (as it 
 feemed) feveral ftupid creatures, that were fcarce 
 ever moved with any concern before. The power 
 attending divine truths, feemed to have the influ- 
 ence of the earthquake rather than the whirlwind 
 upon them. Their paffions were not fo much alarm- 
 ed as has been common here, in times paft ; but their 
 judgments appeared to be powerfully convinced by 
 the mafterly and conquering influence of divine truths. 
 The impreffions made upon the alTembly in general, 
 feemed not fuperficial, but deep and heart affecting. 
 O how ready did they now appear univerfally to 
 embrace and comply with every thing they heard 
 and were convinced was duty 1 God was in the 
 mid ft of us of a truth, bowing and melting ftub- 
 born hearts ! How many tears and fobs were then 
 to be feen and heard among us ! What liveliness 
 and ftrict attention ! What eagernefs and intenfe- 
 nefs of mind appeared in the whole affemb'ly in the 
 time of divine fervice ! They feemed to watch and 
 wait for the dropping of God's word, as the thirfty 
 earth for the former and latter rain. 
 
 December 28. — Difcourfed to my people in the 
 catechetical method 1 lately entered upon. And in 
 the improvement of my difcourfe, wherein I was 
 comparing man's prefent with his primitive (rate ; 
 
 and 
 
Among the I N D PAN S. 37 
 
 and mewing what he had fallen from, and the mif- 
 eries he is now involved in, and expofed to in his 
 natural eftate ; and prefTing finners to take a view 
 of their deplorable circum fiances without Chrift ; 
 as alfo to ftrive that they might obtain an intereft in 
 him ; the Lord, I truft, granted a remarkable influ- 
 ence of his blelTed Spirit to accompany what was 
 fpoken, and there was a great concern appeared in 
 the affembly : Many were melted into tears and 
 fobs, and the imprcffions made upon them, feemed 
 deep and heart affecting. 
 
 Lord's Day, December 29. — Preached from John 
 iii. 1 . — 5. A number of white people were prefent 
 as is ufual upon the Sabbath. The difcourfe was 
 accompanied with power, and feemed to have a 
 filent, but deep and piercing influence upon the au- 
 dience. Many wept and fobbed affectionately. And 
 there were fome tears among the white people as 
 well as the Indians. Some could not refrain from 
 crying out, though there were not many fo exercif- 
 ed. But the impreflions made upon their hearts, 
 appeared chiefly by the extraordinary eameftnefs of 
 their attention, and their heavy fighs and tears. 
 
 After publick worfhip was over, I went to my 
 houfe, propofing to preach again after a fhort fea- 
 fbn of intermiflion. But they foon came in one af- 
 ter another, with tears in their eyes, to know what 
 they fhould do to be faved. And the Divine Spirit 
 in fuch a manner fet home upon their hearts what 
 I fpoke to them, that the houfe was foon filled with 
 cries, and groans. They all flocked together upon 
 this occalion, and thofe whom I had reafon to think 
 in a chriftlefs frate, were almoft univerfklly feized 
 with concern for their fouls. 
 
 It was an amazing feafon of power among them, 
 and feemed as if God had bowed the hea-vcns and 
 come down. So ailonifhingly prevalent was the op- 
 
 e rat J on 
 
33, DIVINE GRACE displayed 
 
 eration upon old as well as young, that it Teemed 
 as if none would be left in a fecure and natural 
 ftate, but that God was now about to convert all 
 the world. And I was ready to think then, that I 
 mould never again defpair of the converfion of any 
 man or woman living, be they who or what they 
 would. 
 
 It is impoffible to give a juft and lively defcrip- 
 tion of the appearance of things at this feafon, at 
 leaft, fuch as to convey a bright and adequate idea 
 of the effects of this influence ! A number might 
 now be feen rejoicing that God had not taken 
 away the powerful influence of his bleffed Spirit 
 from this place j refreshed to fee {o many ftriving 
 to enter in at the flrait gate ; and animated with 
 fuch concern for them, that they wanted to pufh 
 them forward, as fome of them exprelTed it. At the 
 fame time numbers, both of men and women, old 
 and young, might be feen in tears, and fome in an- 
 guifli of fpirit, appearing in their very countenances 
 like condemned malefactors, bound towards the 
 place of execution, with a heavy folicitude fitting in 
 their faces ; fo that there feemed here, as I thought, 
 a lively emblem of the folemn day of accounts ! A 
 mixture of heaven and hell, of joy unfpeakable, and 
 anguifh inexpreflible ! 
 
 The concern and religious affection was fuch, 
 that I could not pretend to have any formal relig- 
 ious exercife among them ; but fpent the time in 
 difcourfing to one and another, as I thought mofi 
 proper, and feafonable for each, and fome times ad- 
 drefled them all together, and finally concluded 
 with prayer. Such were their circumftances at 
 this feafon, that I could fcarce have half an hour's 
 reft from (peaking, from about half an hour before 
 twelve o'clock (at which time I began publick wor- 
 
 ihip) until paft feyen at night. 
 
 There 
 
Among the INDIANS. 39 
 
 There appeared to be four or five perfons newly 
 awakened this day, and the evening before, fome of 
 whom but very lately came among us. 
 
 December 30.-— Was vifited by four or five young 
 perfons under concern for their fouls, moftof whom, 
 were very lately awakened. They wept much 
 while I difcourfed to them, and endeavoured to prefs 
 upon them the neceffily of flying to Chrift, with- 
 out delay, for falvation. 
 
 December 31. — Spent fome hours this day in vifit- 
 ing my people from houfe to houfe, and converting 
 with them about their fpiritual concerns ; endeavour- 
 ing to prefs upon thriftlefs fouls the neceffity of a 
 renovation of heart : And fcarce left a houfe, with- 
 out leaving fome or other of its inhabitants in tears, 
 appearing folicitoufly engaged to obtain an interefl 
 in Chrift. 
 
 The Indians are now gathered together" from all 
 quarters to this place, and have built them little cot- 
 tages, ib that more than twenty families live within 
 a quarter of a mile of me. A very convenient fitu- 
 ati-on in regard both of publick and private in- 
 fin; 6t ion. 
 
 January 1, 1745,6. — Spent fome confiderable 
 time in vi firing my people again. Found fcarce 
 one but what was under fome ferious impreffions 
 refpe<fting their fpirifua! concerns. 
 
 "January ?,.— -Vifited fome perfons newly come 
 among us, who had fcarce ever heard any thing of 
 chrift lanky (except the empty name] before. En- 
 deavoured to initrucl: them particularly ill the firfl 
 principles of religion, in the mod eafy and familiar 
 manner I could. 
 
 There are (bangers from remote parts alrnoil con- 
 tinually dropping in amongus, fo that I haveoccafion 
 repeatedly to open and inculcate the firft principles 
 ■ f cbriftianity, 
 
 A a januat^ 
 
40 ^DIVINE GRACE displayed 
 
 January 4. — Profecuted my catechetical method 
 of inftructing. Found my people able to anfwer 
 queftions with propriety, beyond what could have 
 been expected from perfons fo lately brought out of 
 heathenifli darknefs. 
 
 Lord's Day, 'January 5. — Difcourfed from Matth. 
 xii. 10. — 13. There appeared not fo much liveli- 
 nefs and affection in divine fervice as ufual. The 
 fame truths that have often produced many tears and 
 fobs in the aflembly, feemed now to have no fpecial 
 influence upon any in it. 
 
 Near night I propofed to have proceeded in my 
 ufual method of catechifing. But while we were 
 engaged in the firft prayer, the power of God feem- 
 ed to defcend upon the aflembly in fuch a remarka- 
 ble manner, and fo many appeared under prefling 
 concern for their fouls, that I thoilght it much more 
 expedient to infill upon the plentiful provifion made 
 by divine grace for the redemption of perifhing 
 tinners, and to prefs them to a fpeedy acceptance of 
 the great falvation, than to aik them queftions about 
 doctrinal points. What was moft practical, feem- 
 ed moft feafonable to be infifted upon, while num- 
 bers appeared fo extraordinarily folicitous to obtain 
 an intereft in the great Redeemer. 
 
 Baptized two perfons this day ; one adult (the 
 woman particularly mentioned in my Journal of 
 December 22,) and one child. 
 
 This woman has difcovered a very fweet and heav- 
 enly frame of mind, from time to time, fince her 
 firft reception of comfort. One morning in partic- 
 ular fhe came to fee me, difcovering an unufual joy 
 and fatisfaction in her countenance; and when 1 in- 
 quired into the reafon of it, fhe replied, that God 
 had made her feel that it was right for him to do 
 what he pleafed with all things ; and that it would 
 be right if he fhould caft her huiband and fon both 
 
 into 
 
Among the INDIANS. - ' 41 
 
 into hell ; and (he faw it was fo right for God to do 
 what he pleafed with them, that (he could not but 
 rejoice if God mould fend them into hell. Though 
 it was apparent me loved them dearly. She, more- 
 over, inquired whether I was not fent to preach to 
 the Indians, by fome good people a great way off. 
 I replied, Yes, by the good people in Scotland. She 
 anfwered, that her heart loved thofe good people fo, 
 the evening before, that fhe could fcarce help pray- 
 ing for them all night, her heart would go to God 
 for them, &c. fo that thebleffing of thofe ready to 
 periih is like to come upon thofe pious perfons who 
 have communicated of their fubftance to the propa- 
 gation of the gofpel. 
 
 January 1 1 :■ — Difcourfed in a catechetical method, 
 as ufual of late. And having opened our fir ft pa- 
 rent's primitive apoftafy, from God, and our fall ill 
 him, 1 proceeded to improve my difcourfe, by (hew- 
 ing the necellity we flood in of an almighty Redeem- 
 er, and the abfolute need every (inner has of an in- 
 tereft in his merits and mediation. There was 
 fome tendernefs and affectionate concern appeared 
 in the arTembl)'. 
 
 Lord's Day, January \%. — Preached from Ifaiah 
 Iv. 6. The word of God feemed to fall upon the 
 audience, with a divine weight and influence, and 
 evidently appeared to be not the word of man. The 
 blelTed Spirit, f am perfuaded, accompanied what 
 was fpoken to the hearts of many. So that there 
 was a powerful revival of conviction in numbers 
 who were under fpiritual exercife before, 
 
 January 13. — 'Was vifited by divers perfons under 
 deep concern for their fouls i One of whom was 
 newly awakened. It is a moil agreeable work to 
 treat with fouls who are folicitoufly inquiring what 
 they JJjj/1 do to be favedp And as we are never to 
 be weary in well doing, fo the obligation feems to be 
 A a % peculiarly 
 
42 DIVINE GRACE displayed 
 
 peculiarly ftrong when the work is fo very defirable. 
 And yet I mull: fay, my health is fo much impaired, 
 and my fpirits fo wafted with my labours and folitary 
 manner of living (there being no human creature in 
 the houfe with me) that their repeated and almoft 
 inceffant applications to me for help and direction, 
 are fometimes exceeding burdenfome, and foexhauft 
 my fpirits, that I become fit for nothing at all, en- 
 tirely unable to profecute any bufinefs fometimes 
 for days together. 
 
 'January 14. — Spent fome time in private con- 
 ferences with my people, and found fome difpofed 
 to take comfort, as I thought, upon flighty grounds. 
 They are now generally awakened, and it is become 
 fo difgraceful, as well as terrifying to the confcience, 
 to be deftitute of religion, that they are in eminent 
 danger of taking up with any appearances of grace, 
 rather than to live under the fear and difgrace of an 
 unregenerate (rate. 
 
 Lord's Day, January 19. — Difcourfed to my peo- 
 ple from Ifaiah lv. 7. Towards night catechized 
 in my ordinary method. And this appeared to be 
 a powerful feafon of grace among us. Numbers 
 were much affected. Convictions powerfully reviv- 
 ed. Divers of the chriftians refrefbed and length- 
 ened. And one weary heavy laden foul, I have abund- 
 ant reafon to hope, brought to true reft and folid 
 comfort in Chrift, who afterwards gave me fuch an 
 account of God's dealing with his foul as was abund- 
 antly fatisfying as well as refreshing to me. 
 
 He told me, he had often heard me fay, that per- 
 fons mull fee and feel themfelves utterly helplefs 
 and undone, that they muff, be emptied of a depend- 
 ence upon themfelves, and of all hope of laving them- 
 felves by their own doings in order to their coming 
 to Chrift for falvation. And he had long been {{riv^ 
 ing after this view of things ; fuppofmg this would 
 
 be 
 
Among the INDIANS. 43 
 
 be an excellent frame of mind to be thus emptied 
 of a dependence upon his own goodneis : That 
 God would have refpect to this frame ; would then 
 be well pleafed with him, and beftow eternal life 
 upon him. But when he came to feel himfelf in this 
 helplefs undone condition, he found it quite contra- 
 ry to all his thoughts and expectations ; fo that it 
 was not the fame nor jndeed any thing like the 
 frame he had been feeking after. Inftead of its be- 
 ing a good frame of mind, he now found nothing 
 but badnefs in himfelf, and .faw it was forever im- 
 poffible for him to make himfelf any better. He 
 wondered, he faid, that he had ever hoped to mend 
 his own heart. He was amazed he had never be- 
 fore {cen it was utterly impoflible for him, by all 
 his contrivances and endeavours, t© do any thing 
 that way, fince the matter now appeared to him in 
 fo clear a light. 
 
 Inftead of imagining now, that God would be 
 pleafed with him for the lake of this frame of mind, 
 and this view of his undone eftate, he faw clearly, 
 and felt it would be juft with God to fend him to 
 eternal mifery ; and that there was no goodnefs in 
 what he then felt ; for he could not help feeing, 
 that he was naked, {infill and miferable, and there 
 was nothing in fuch a fight to deferve God's love 
 or pity. 
 
 He faw thcfe things in a manner fo clear and con- 
 vincing, that it feemed to him, he faid, he could 
 convince every body of their utter inability ever to 
 help themfelves, and their unvvorthinefs of any help 
 from God. 
 
 In this frame of mind he came to publick worfliip, 
 this evening, and while I was inviting finners to 
 come to Chriitnakeci and empty, without any good- 
 nefs of their own to recommend them to his accept- 
 ance, then he thought with himfelf, that he had oft- 
 A a 1 e-n 
 
44 DIVINE GRACE displayed 
 
 en tried to come and give up his heart to Chrift, 
 and he ufed to hope that fome time or other he mould 
 be able to do fo. But now he was convinced he 
 could not, and it feemed utterly vain for him ever 
 to try any more : And he could not, he faid, find 
 a heart to make any further attempt, becaufe he 
 faw it would fignify nothing at all : Nor did he now 
 hope for abetter opportunity, or more ability hereaf- 
 ter, as he had formerly done, becaufe he faw, and was 
 fully convinced, his own ftrength would forever fail. 
 
 While he was mufing in this manner, he faw, he 
 faid, with his heart (which is a common phrafe 
 among them) fomething that was unfpeakably good 
 and lovely, and what he had never feen before; and 
 this ftole away his heart whether he would or no. 
 He did not, he faid, know what it w r as he faw. He 
 did not fay, this is Jefus Chrift, but it was fuch 
 glory and beauty as he never faw before. He did 
 not now give away his heart fo as he had formerly 
 intended and attempted to do, but it went away of 
 itfelf after that glory he then difcovered. He ufed 
 to try to make a bargain with Chrift, to give up his 
 heart to him, that he might have eternal life for it. 
 But now he thought nothing about himfelf , or what 
 would become of him hereafter. But was pleafed, 
 and his mind was wholly taken up with the unfpeak- 
 able excellency of what he then beheld. 
 
 After fome time he was wonderfully pleafed with 
 the way of falvation by Chrift ; {o that it feejned 
 unfpeakably better to be faved altogether by the 
 mere free grace of God in Chrift, than to have any 
 hand in faving himfelf. And the confequence of 
 this exercife is, that he Appears to retain a fenfe and 
 relifh of divine things, and to maintain a life of 
 ferioufnefs and true religion. 
 
 February 8. — Spent a confiderable part of the day 
 in vifiting my people from houfe tohoufe, and con- 
 
 yerflng 
 
Among the INDIANS. 45 
 
 verfing with them about their fouls' concerns. Di- 
 vers perfons wept while I difcourfed to them, and 
 appeared concerned for nothing fo much as for an 
 intereft in the great Redeemer. 
 
 Lord's Day, February 9. — Difcourfed to my peo- 
 ple from the ftory of the blind man, Matth.x.46.— 52. 
 The word of God feemed weighty and powerful 
 upon the affembly at this time, and made confidera- 
 ble impreflions upon many. Divers in particular 
 who have generally been remarkably ftupid and care- 
 lefs under the means of grace, were now awakened, 
 and wept affectionately. And the molt earned at- 
 tention, as well as ten dernefs and affection, appeared 
 in the audience univerfally. 
 
 Baptized three perfons, two adults and one 
 child. The adults, I have reafon to hope, were 
 both truly pious. There was a confiderable melt- 
 ing in the affembly, while I was difcouriing partic- 
 ularly to the perfons, and administering the or- 
 dinance. 
 
 March 1. — Catechifed in my ordinary method. 
 Was pleafed and refrefhed to fee them anfwer the 
 queftions propofed to them, with fuch remarkable 
 readinefs, diicretion and knowledge. 
 
 Towards the ciofe of my difcourfe, divine truths 
 made confiderable impreffions upon the audience, 
 and produced tears and fobs in fome under concern ; 
 and more efpeciahy a fweet and humble melting 
 in fi^pdry that, I have reafon to hope, were truly 
 gracious. 
 
 Lord's Day, March 2. — Preached from John xv. 
 1 . — 6. The affembly appeared not 10 lively in their 
 attention as umal, nor fo much affected with divine 
 truths in general v as has been common. 
 
 Some of my people who went up to the Forks of 
 Delaware with me, being now returned, were ac- 
 companied by two of the Indians belonging to the. 
 A a 4 Forks, 
 
46 DIVINE GRACE displayed 
 
 Forks, who had promifed me a fpeedy vifit. May 
 the Lord meet with them here. They can fcarce go 
 into a houfe now, but they will meet with chriftian 
 converfation, whereby, it is hopeful, they may be 
 both inftructed and awakened. 
 
 Difcourfed to the Indians again in the afternoon, 
 and obferved among them fome livelinefs and en- 
 gagement in divine fervice, though not equal to 
 what has often appeared here, 
 
 I know of no affembly of chriftians, where there 
 feems to be fo much of the prefence of God, where 
 brotherly love fo much prevails, and where I fhould 
 take fo much delight in the publick worfhip of God, 
 in the general, as in my own congregation. Although 
 not more than nine months ago, they were worship- 
 ping devils and dumb idols, under the power of pa- 
 gan darknefs and fuperflition ! Amazing change 
 this j effected by nothing lefs than divine power 
 and grace ! This is the doing of the Lord, and it is 
 juilly marvellous in our eyes I 
 
 Lord's Day, March 9. — Preached from Luke x. 
 38. — 42. The word of God was attended with pow- 
 er and energy upon the audience. Numbers were 
 affected and concerned to obtain the one thing need- 
 ful. And fundry that have given good evidences of 
 their being truly gracious, were much affected with a 
 fenfe of their want of fpirituality ; and faw the need 
 they ftood in of growing in grace. And moff that 
 had been under any impreffions of divine things in 
 times pad, feemed now to have thofe impreffions 
 revived. 
 
 In the afternoon propofed to have catechized in 
 my ufual method. But while we were engaged in 
 the firft prayer in the Indian language, as ufual, a 
 great part of the affembly was fo much moved and 
 affected with divine things, that 1 thought it fca fun- 
 gible and proper to omit the propoling of queftions 
 
 for 
 
 \ 
 
Among - the INDIANS. 47 
 
 for that time, and infift upon the moft practical truths '. 
 And accordingly did fo : Making a further improve- 
 ment of the pafiage of icripture I diicourfed upon 
 in the former part of the day. 
 
 There appeared to be a powerful divine influence 
 in the congregation. Sundry that I have reafon to 
 think are truly pious, were fo deeply affected with a 
 fenfe of their own barren nefs, and their unworthy 
 treatment of the blefied Redeemer, that they looked 
 en him as pierced r by themieives, and mourned, yea 
 fome of them were//; bitlcrnefs as for afirji bor;;. 
 Some poor awakened tinners alfo appeared to be in 
 anguifh of foul to obtain an intereif in Chriil. So 
 that there was a great mourning in the alTembly ; 
 Many heavy groans, fobs and tears ! And one or 
 two perfons newly come among us, were confidera* 
 bly awakened. 
 
 Methinks it would have refrefhed the heart of any 
 who truly love Zion's interelt, to have been in the 
 midftof this divine influence, and ken the effects of 
 it upon faints and tinners. The place of divine wor- 
 ihip appeared both folemn and fweet ! And was io 
 endeared by a difplay of the divine pretence and 
 grace, that thofe who had any reliili of divine 
 things, could not but cry, How amiable are thy tab- 
 ernacles, O Lord of Hqfts ! 
 
 After publick worfhip was over, numbers came 
 to my houfe, where we fang and difcourfed of di- 
 vine things ; and the prefence of God feemed here 
 alfo to be in the midftof us. 
 
 While we were finging there was one woman, 
 who, I may venture to fay, if I may be allowed to 
 fay fo much of any perfon I ever faw, was filled 
 with joy Unfpeakable and full of glory , and could not 
 but burft forth in prayer and praifes to God before 
 us all, with many tears, crying, fometimes in En- 
 glifh and fometimes in Indian, G bleffed Lord, do 
 
 come, 
 
4^ DIVINE GRACE displayed 
 
 come, do come ! O do take me away, do let me die 
 and go to Jefus Chrift ! I am afraid if I live I (hall 
 iin again ! O do let me die now ! O dear Jefus, do 
 come ! I cannot ftay, I cannot flay ! O how can I 
 live in this world ! Do take my foul away from this 
 iinful place ! O let me never fin any more ! O what 
 fhall I do, what fhall I do ! Dear Jefus, O dear Je- 
 fus, &c. In this ecftafy fhe continued fome time, 
 uttering thefe and fuch like expreffions inceflantly. 
 And the grand argument fhe ufed with God to take 
 her away immediately, was, that if fhe lived fhe 
 fhould fin againft him. 
 
 When fhe had a little recovered herfelf, I afked 
 her, if Chrift was not now fweet to her foul : Where- 
 upon, turning to me with tears in her eyes, and with 
 all the tokens of deep humility I ever faw in any per- 
 fon, fhe faid, I have many times heard you fpeak of 
 the goodnefs and the fweetnefs of Chrift, that he 
 was better than all the world. But O ! 1 knew noth- 
 ing what you meant, I never believed you ! I never 
 believed you; but now I know it is true. Or words 
 to that effecT:. I anfwered, And do you fee enough 
 in Chrift for the greateft of finners ? She replied, O, 
 enough, enough for all the finners in the world it 
 they would but come. And when I afked her, if 
 lhe could not tell them of the goodnefs of Chrift ; 
 turning herfelf about to fome poor chriftlefs fouls 
 who flood by, and were much aftecled, file faid, O, 
 there is enough in Chrift for you, if you would but 
 come ! O ftrive, ftrive to give up your hearts to him, 
 &c. And upon hearing fomething of the glory of 
 heaven mentioned, that there was no fin in that 
 world, &c. fhe again fell into the fame ecftafy of 
 joy, and defire of Chrift's coming ; repeating her 
 former expreffions, O dear Lord, do let me go ! O 
 what lhall I do, what fhall I do ! I want to go to 
 Chrift ! I cannot live! O do let me die, &c. 
 
 She 
 
Among the INDIANS. 49 
 
 She continued in this fvveet frame for more than 
 two hours, before (he was well able to get home. 
 
 I am very feniible there may be great joys, arifing 
 even to an ecftafy, where there is ftill no fubftantial 
 evidence of their being well grounded. But in the 
 prefent cafe there feemed to be no evidence wanting 
 in order to prove this joy to be divine, either in re- 
 gard of its preparatives, attendants, or consequents. 
 
 Of all the perfons I have feen under fpiritual ex- 
 ercife, I fcarce ever faw one appear more bowed and 
 broken under convictions of fin and mifery, (or 
 what is ufually called a preparatory work, J than this 
 woman. Nor fcarce any who feemed to have a 
 greater acquaintance with her own heart than fhe 
 had. She would frequently complain to me of the 
 hardnefs and rebellion of her heart. Would tell me 
 her heart rofe and quarrelled with God, when ilie 
 thought he would do with her as he pleafed, and 
 fend her to hell, notwithftanfting her prayers, good 
 frames, &c. That her heart was not willing to come 
 to Chrift for falvation, but tried every where elfe 
 for help. 
 
 And as fhe feemed to be remarkably fenfible of 
 her ftubbornnefs and contrariety to God, under con- 
 viction, fo me appeared to be no lefs remarkably 
 bowed and reconciled to divine fovereignty before 
 flie obtained any relief or comfort. Something of 
 which I have before noticed in my Journal of Febru- 
 ary 9. Since which time fhe has feemed conftantly 
 to breath the fpirit and temper of the new creature 1 
 crying after Chrift , not through fear of hell as be- 
 fore, but with ftrong defires after him as her only 
 fatisfying portion. And has many times wept and 
 fobbed bitterly, becaufe (as fhe apprehended) fhe did 
 not and could not love him. When I have fometimes 
 afked her, why fhe appeared fo forrcwful, and 
 whether it was becaufe (lie was afraid of hell ; fhe 
 
 would 
 
50 DIVINE GRACE displayed 
 
 would anfwer, No, I ben't diftreffed about that ; but 
 my heart is fo wicked I cannot love Chrift ; and 
 thereupon burfr. out into tears. But although this 
 has been the habitual frame of her mind for feveral 
 weeks together, fo that the exercife of grace appear- 
 ed evident to others, yet (lie feemed wholly infenii- 
 bleof it herfelf, and never had any remarkable com- 
 fort, and fenfible fatisfaction until this evening. 
 
 This fweet and furprifing ecftafy, appeared to 
 fpring from a true fpiritual difcovery of the glory, 
 ravifhing beauty and excellency of Chrifb : And not 
 from any grofs imaginary notions of his human na- 
 ture i fuch as that of feeing him in fuch a place or 
 pofture, as hanging on the crofs, as bleeding, dying, 
 as gently fmiling, and the like ; which del ufions 
 fome have been carried away with. Nor did it rife 
 from a fordid felfifh apprehenfion of her having any 
 benefit whatfoever conferred on her, but from a 
 view of his perfonal excellency, and tranfcendent 
 lovelinefs, which drew forth thofe vehement defires 
 of enjoying him fhe now manifefted, and made her 
 long to be abfent from the body , that fhe might be pref- 
 ect with the Lord. 
 
 The attendants of this ravifhing comfort, were 
 fuch as abundantly difcovered its fpring to be di- 
 vine, and' that it was truly a joy in the Holy Ghojl. 
 Now (he viewed divine truths as living realities ; 
 and could fay, I know thefe thing are fo, I feel they 
 are true ! Now her foul was refigned to the divine 
 will in the moft tender points ; fo that when I fad 
 to her, What if God mould take away your* huf- 
 band from. you, (who was then very fick) how do 
 you think you could bear that ? She replied, He be- 
 longs to God, and not me ; he may do with him juft 
 what he pleafes ! Now fhe had the mofl tender fenie 
 of the evil of fin, and difcovered the utmdft averfion 
 
 to 
 
 * The man particularly mentioned in • •"•>' Journal of January ig> 
 
Among the INDIA N S. 51 
 
 to it j longing to die that fhe might be delivered 
 from it. Now fhe could freely truft her all with 
 God for time and eternity. And when I queried 
 with her, how fhe could be willing to die arid leave 
 her little infant, and what fhe thought would become 
 of it in cafe fhe fhould ; fhe anfvvered, God will 
 take care of it. It belongs to him, he will take care 
 of it. 
 
 Now fhe appeared to have the mofl humbling 
 fenfe of her own meannefs and unworthinefs, her 
 weaknefs and inability to preferve herfelf from fin, 
 and to perfevere in the way of holinefs, crying, If I 
 live I fhall fin. And I then thought I had never Cecil 
 fuch an appearance of ecftafy and humility meeting 
 in any one perfon in all my life before. 
 
 The confequents of this joy are no lefs defirable 
 and fatisfactory than its attendants. She fince ap- 
 pears to be a moft tender, broken hearted, affection- 
 ate, devout, and humble chriitian, as exemplary in 
 life and converfation as any perfon in my congrega- 
 tion. May me frill grow in grace and in the knowfc 
 edge of Ch rift. 
 
 March 10. — Toward night the Indians 'met to- 
 gether of their own accord and fang, prayed, and 
 difcourfed of divine things among themfelves. At 
 which time there was much affection among them. 
 Some, who are hopefully gracious, appeared to be 
 melted with divine things. And fome others feem- 
 ed much concerned for their fouls. Perceiving their 
 engagement, and affection in rcdhiious exercifes, I 
 went among them, and prayed and gave a word of 
 exhortation ; and obferved two or three fomewha£ 
 affected and concerned, who fcarqe.ever appeared to 
 be under any religious impreiiions before, h feem- 
 ed to be a day and evening of divine power. Num- 
 bers retained the warm impreiuons of divine things 
 that had been made upon their minds the day before, 
 
 b 
 
52 DIVINE GRACE displayed 
 
 March ."4. — Was vifited by a confiderable number 
 of my people, and fpent fome time in religious ex- 
 ercifes with them. 
 
 March 24. — Numbered the Indians, to fee how 
 many fouls God had gathered together here, fince 
 my coming into thefe parts, and found there was 
 now about an hundred and thirty perfons together, 
 old and young. Sundry of thofe that are my ftated 
 hearers, perhaps to the number of fifteen or twenty, 
 were abfent at this feafon. So that if all had been 
 together, the number would now have been very 
 confiderable ; efpecially confidering how few were 
 together at my firft coming into thefe parts, the 
 whole number not amounting to ten perfons at that 
 time. 
 
 My people going out this day upon the defign of 
 clearing fome of their lands above fifteen miles dif- 
 tant from this fettlement, in order to their fettling 
 there in a compact form, where they might be un- 
 der advantages of attending the publick worfhip of 
 God, of having their children fchooled, and at the 
 fame time have a conveniency for planting, &c. 
 their land in the place of our prefent refidence be- 
 ing of little or no value for that purpofe. And the 
 defign of their fettling thus in a body, and cultivat- 
 ing their lands, (which they have done very little at 
 in their pagan ftate) being of fuch neceffity and im- 
 portance to their religious intereft, as well as world- 
 ly comfort, I thought it proper to call them togeth- 
 er, and fhew them the duty of labouring with faith- 
 fulnefs and induftry ; and that they mull not now 
 bejlothful in bufinefs, as they had ever been, in their 
 pagan ftate. And endeavoured to prefs the impor- 
 tance of their being laborious, diligent and vigorous 
 in the profecution of their bufinefs, efpecially at the 
 prefent juncture, (the feafon of planting being now 
 near) in order to their being in a capacity of living 
 
 together, 
 
Among the INDIANS. 53 
 
 together, and enjoying the means of grace and in- 
 flrudtion. And having given them directions for 
 their work (which they very much wanted] as well 
 as for their behaviour in divers refpects, I explained, 
 fang, and endeavoured to inculcate upon them, 
 Pfalm cxxviith, common metre, Dr. Watts's ver- 
 sion. And having recommended them, and the de- 
 fign of their going forth, to God, by prayer with 
 them, I di (milled them to their bufinefs. 
 
 In the evening read and expounded to my people, 
 (thole of them who were yet at home, and the 
 ftrangers newly come,) the fubftance of the third 
 chapter ol the Acts. Numbers feemed to melt un- 
 der the word, efpecially while I was difcourfing up- 
 on verfe 19. Sundry of the ftrangers alfo were af- 
 fected. When I aiked them afterwards, whether 
 they did not now feel that their hearts were wicked, 
 as I had taught them ; one replied, Yes, fhe felt it 
 now. Although before me came here (upon hear- 
 ing that I taught the Indians their hearts were all 
 bajd by nature, and needed to be changed and made 
 good by the power of God) fhe had faid, her heart 
 was not wicked, and (he never had done any thing 
 that was bad in her life. And this indeed feems to 
 be the cafe with them, I think univerfally, in their 
 pagan ftate. 
 
 They feem to have no confcioufnefs of fin and 
 guilt, unlefs they can charge them f elves with fome 
 grofs acts of fin contrary to the commands of the 
 fecond table. 
 
 March 29. — In the evening catechifed as ufual 
 upon Saturday. Treated upon the benefits which 
 believers receive from Chri/i at death. The queftions 
 were anfwered with great readinefs and propriety. 
 And thofe who I have reafon to think, are the dear 
 people of God, were fweetly melted almoft in gen- 
 eral. There appeared fuch a liveliness and vigour 
 
 in 
 
54 DIVINE GRACE displayed 
 
 in their attendance upon the word of God, and fuch 
 eagernefs to be made partakers of the benefits then 
 mentioned, that they feemed to be not only looking 
 for, but hafemng to the coming of the day of God. Di- 
 vine truths feemed to diflil upon the audience with 
 a gentle, but melting efficacy, as the rcfrefhing 
 mowers upon the new mown grafs. The aiTembly 
 in general, as well as thofe who appear truly relig- 
 ious, were affected with fome brief account of the 
 bleiTednefs of the godly at death : And moil: then 
 difcovered an affectionate inclination to cry, Let me 
 die the death of the righteous, &c. Although many 
 were not duly engaged to obtain the change of heart 
 that is neceffary in order to that bleffed'end. 
 
 March 31. — Called my people together, as I had 
 done the Monday morning before, and difcourfed 
 to them again en the neceflity and importance of 
 their labouring induflrioufly, in order to their living 
 together and enjoying the means of grace, &c. And 
 having engaged in folemn prayer to God among 
 them, for a bleffing upon their attempts, Idifmiflea 
 them to their work. 
 
 Numbers of them, both men and women, feemed 
 to offer themfelves willingly to this fervice; and 
 fome appeared affectionately concerned that God 
 might go with them, and begin their little town for 
 them ; that by his bleffing it might be a place com- 
 fortable for them and theirs, in regard both of pro- 
 curing the neceflaries of life, and of attending the 
 worfhip of God. 
 
 After publick worfhip, a number ot thofe I have 
 reafon to think are truly religious, came to my houfe 
 and feemed eager of fome, further entertainment 
 upon divine things. And while I was converting 
 with them about their fpiritual exercifes, obferving 
 to them, that God's work in the hearts of all his chil- 
 dren, was, for fubflance, the fame ; and that their 
 
 trials 
 
Among^the INDIANS. $$ 
 
 trials and temptations were alfo alike ; and fhew- 
 ing the obligations fuch were under to love one 
 another in a peculiar manner, they feemed to 
 be melted into tendernefs and affection to- 
 ward each other : And I thought that particular 
 token of their being the difciples of Chrift, 
 viz. of their having love one toward another* 
 had fcarce ever appeared more evident than at this 
 time. 
 
 April 25. — Having of late apprehended that a 
 number of perfons in my congregation, were prop- 
 er fubjedts of the ordinance of the Lord's flipper, 
 and that it might be feafonable fpeedily to adminif- 
 ter it to them : And having taken advice of fome of 
 the reverend Correfpondents in this folemn affair ; and 
 accordingly having propofed and appointed the next 
 Lord's Day, with the leave of Divine Providence, 
 for the adminiflration of this ordinance, this day, as 
 preparatory thereto, was fet apart for folemn fading 
 and prayer, to implore the bleffing of God upon our 
 defign of renewing covenant with him, and with 
 one another, to walk together in the fear of God, in 
 love and chriftian fellowmip ; and to entreat that 
 his divine prefence might be with us in ourdefigned 
 approach to his table ; as well as to humble our- 
 felves before God on account of the apparent with- 
 drawment, (at leaft in a meaTure,) of that blefled in- 
 fluence that has been [o prevalent upon perfons of 
 all ages among us : As alfo on account of the riling 
 appearance o v f careleffhefs, vanity and vice among 
 fome, who, fometime fince, appeared to be touched 
 and affected with divine truths, and brought to fome 
 fenfibility of their miferable and perifliing ftate by 
 nature. And that we might alfo importunately pray 
 for the peaceable fettlement of the Indians together 
 in a body, that they might be a commodious con- 
 gregation for the worfhip of God ; and that God 
 B b would 
 
56 DIVINE GRACE displayed 
 
 would blaft and defeat all the attempts that were or 
 might be made againft that pious defign*. 
 
 The folemnity was obferved and ferioufly attend- 
 ed, not only by thofewho propofed to communicate 
 at the Lord's table, but by the whole congregation 
 univerfally. In the former part of the day, I en- 
 deavoured to open to my people the nature and de- 
 fign of a fad, as I had attempted more briefly to do 
 before, and to inftruct them in the duties of fuch a 
 folemnity. In the afternoon, I infilled upon the 
 fpecial reafons there were for our engaging in thefe 
 folemn exercifes at this time ; both in regard of the 
 need we flood in of divine affiftance, in order to a 
 due preparation for that facred ordinance we were 
 fome of us propofing (with the leave of Divine Prov- 
 idence) fpeedily to attend upon : And alfo in refpect 
 of the manifeft decline of God's work here, as to 
 the effectual conviction and conversion of finners, 
 there having been few of late deeply awakened out 
 of a ftate of fecurity. 
 
 The worfhip of God was attended with great fo- 
 lemnity and reverence, with much tendernefs and 
 many tears, by thofe who appear to be truly relig- 
 ious : And there was fome appearance of divine 
 power upon thofe who had been awakened fome 
 time before, and who were {fill under concern. 
 
 After repeated prajfcr and attendance upon the 
 word of God, I propofed to the religious people, 
 with as much brevity and plainnefs as I could, the 
 fubftance of the doctrine of the chriftian faith, as I 
 had formerly done, previous to their baptifm, and 
 had their renewed cheerful aflent to it. I then led 
 
 them 
 
 * There being a* this time a terrible clamour railed againfl. the Indians in various 
 places in the country, and infinuations as though I was training them up to cut peo- 
 ple's throats. Numbers wifhing to ha\e them banifhed out of thefe parts, and feme 
 giving out great words in order to fright and deter them from fettling upon the bcU 
 and moft convenient tract of their own lands, threatening to moleft and trouble 
 them in the law, pretending a claim to thefe lands themfeives, although never pur- 
 chafed of the Indians, 
 
Among the INDIANS. 57 
 
 them to a folemn renewal of their baptifmal cove- 
 nant, wherein they had explicitly and publickly 
 given up themfelves to God, the Father, Son and 
 Holy Ghoft, avouching him to be their God 1 and 
 at the fame time renouncing their heathenifh vani- 
 ties, their idolatrous and Superfluous practices, and 
 Solemnly engaging to take the word of God, fo far 
 as it was, or might be made known to them, for the 
 rule of their lives, promifing to walk together in 
 love, to watch over themfelves, and one another; to 
 lead lives of ferioufnefs and devotion, and to dis- 
 charge the relative duties incumbent upon them re- 
 spectively, &c. 
 
 This folemn tranSaction was attended with much 
 gravity and ferioufnefs : And at the fame time with 
 utmofl rcadineSs, freedom, and cheerfulnefs ; and a 
 religious union and harmony of foul, feemed to 
 crown the whole Solemnity. I could not but think 
 in the evening, that there had been manifefl tokens 
 of the divine prefence with us in all the feveral fer- 
 vices of the day ; though it was alfo manifefl there 
 was not that concern among chrifllefs fouls that has 
 often appeared here. 
 
 April 26. — Toward noon prayed with a dying 
 child, and gavea word of exhortation to the byfland- 
 ers to prepare for death, which feemed to takeeffect 
 upon fome. 
 
 In the afternoon difcourfed to my people from 
 Matth. xxvi. 26. — 30. oS the author, the nature 
 and defign of the Lord's flipper ; and endeavoured 
 to point out the worthy receivers of that ordinance. 
 
 The religious people were affected and even melt- 
 ed with divine truths, with a view of the dying lovd 
 ofChrilt. Sundry others who had been for fome 
 months under convictions of their perilhing State 
 appeared now to be much moved with concern, and 
 afrefh, engaged in feeking after an interefl in Chrifl j 
 . B b 3 although 
 
58 DIVINE GRACE displayed 
 
 although I cannot fay the word of God appeared fo 
 quick and powerful, io fharp and piercing to the af- 
 fembly, as it had fometimes formerly done. 
 
 Lord's Day, April '27. — Preached from Tit. ii. 14. 
 Who gave h wife If for us, &c. The word of God at 
 this time was attended with fome appearance of di- 
 vine power upon the alTembly ; fo that the attention 
 and gravity of the audience was remarkable ; and 
 efpecially towards the conclusion of theexercife, di- 
 vers perfons were much affected. 
 
 Adminiftered the facrament of the Lord's fupper 
 to twenty three perfons of the Indians, (the number 
 of men and women being nearly equal) divers others, 
 to the number of five or fix, being now abfent at the 
 Forks of Delaware, who would otherwife have com- 
 municated with us. 
 
 The ordinance was attended with great folemnity, 
 and with a mofl defirable tendemefs and affection. 
 And it was remarkable that in the feafon of the per- 
 formance of the facramental actions, efpecially in 
 the distribution of the bread, they feemed to be af- 
 fected in a moll lively manner, as if Chrift had been 
 really crucified before them. And the words of the 
 inftitution when repeated and enlarged upon in the 
 feafon of the administration, feemed to meet with 
 the fame reception, to be entertained with the fame 
 full and firm belief and affectionate engagement of 
 foul, as if the Lord Jefus Chrift himfelf had been 
 prefent, and had perfonally fpoken to them. 
 
 The affections of the communicants, although 
 considerably raifed, were notwithftandingagreeably 
 regulated, and kept within proper bounds. So that 
 there was a fweet, gentle and affectionate melting, 
 without any indecent or boifterous commotion of the 
 paffions. 
 
 Having refted fome time after the administration 
 of the facrament, (being extremely tired with the 
 
 neceffary 
 
Among the INDIANS. 59 
 
 neceflary prolixity of the work,) I walked from 
 houfe to houfe, and converfed particularly with mod 
 of the communicants, and found they had been ai- 
 med univerfally refrefhed at the Lord's table, as 
 with new wine. And never did I fee fuch an ap- 
 pearance of chriftian love among any people in all 
 my life. It was fo remarkable, that one might well 
 have cried with an agreeable furprife, Behold how 
 they love one another ! I think there could be no 
 greater tokens of mutual affection among the people 
 of God in the early days of chriftianity, than what 
 now appeared here. The fight was fo deferable, and 
 fo well becoming the gofpel, that nothing lefs 
 could be faid of it, than that it was the doing of 
 the Lord, the genuine operations of him who is 
 love ! 
 
 Toward night difeourfed again on the foremen- 
 tioned Tit. ii. 14. and infifted on the immediate end 
 and defign of ChriiVs death, viz. That he might re- 
 deem his people from all iniquity, &c. 
 
 This appeared to be a feafon of divine power 
 among us. The religious people were much re- 
 frefhed, and feemed remarkably tender and affection- 
 ate, full of love, joy, peace, anddefires of being com- 
 pletely redeemed from all iniquity ; fo that fome of 
 them afterwards told me, they had never felt the 
 like before. Convictions alfo appeared to be reviv- 
 ed in many inflances ; and divers perfons were awak- 
 ened whom I had never obferved under any religious 
 impreilions before. 
 
 Such was the influence that attended our afTcmbiy, 
 and fo unfpeakably defirable the frame of mind that 
 many enjoyed in the divine fervice, that it feemed al- 
 moit grievous to conclude the publick worfhip. And 
 the congregation, when difmiiTed, although it was 
 then almofr. dark, appeared loth to leave the place 
 and employments that had been rendered fb dear to 
 
 B b 3 them 
 
6o DIVINEGRACE displayed 
 
 them by the benefits enjoyed, while ableffed quick- 
 ening influence diftilled upon them. 
 
 And upon the whole, I mud fay, I had great fat- 
 isfaction with relation to the adminiftration of this 
 ordinance in divers refpects. I have abundant rea- 
 fon to think, that thofe who came to the Lord's ta- 
 ble, had a good degree of doctrinal knowledge of 
 the nature and defign of the ordinance ; and that 
 they acted underftandingly in what they did. 
 
 In the preparatory fervices I found (I may juftly 
 fay) uncommon freedom in opening to their under- 
 standings and capacities, the covenant of grace, and 
 in (hewing them the nature of this ordinance as a 
 feal of that covenant : Although many of them 
 knew of no fuch thing as a feal before my coming 
 among them, or at leaft of the ufe and defign of it 
 in the common affairs of life. They were likewife 
 thoroughly fenfible that it was no more than a feal 
 or fign, and not the real body and blood of Chrift. 
 That it was defigned for the refrefhmentand edifica- 
 tion of the foul, and not for the feafting of the body. 
 They were alfo acquainted with the end of the ordi- 
 nance, that they were therein called to commemo- 
 rate the dying love of Chrift, &c. 
 
 And this competency of doctrinal knowledge, to- 
 gether with their grave and decent attendance upon 
 the ordinance ; their affectionate melting under it ; 
 and the fweet and chriftian frame of mind they dif- 
 covered confequent upon it, gave me great fatisfac- 
 tion refpectingmy adminiftration of it to them. 
 
 And O what a fweet and bleffed feafon was this ! 
 God himfelf, I am perfuaded, was in the midfl of 
 his people, attending his own ordinances : And I 
 doubt not but many, in the conclufion of the day, 
 could fay with their whole hearts, Verily, a day thus 
 /pent in God's boufe, is better than a thoufand elfe- 
 where. There feemed to be but one heart among 
 
 the 
 
Among the INDIANS. 61 
 
 the pious people ! The fweet union, harmony, and 
 endearing love and tendernefs fubfifting among them, 
 was, I thought, the moft lively emblem of the heav- 
 enly world, I had ever feen. 
 
 April Q^.— Concluded the facramental folemnity 
 with a difcourfe upon John xiv. 15. If ye love me, 
 keep my' commandments. At which time there ap- 
 peared a very agreeable tendernefs in the audience in 
 general, but efpecially in the communicants. O 
 how free, how engaged and aftedtionate did thefe 
 appear in the fervice of God : They feemed willing 
 to have their ears bored to the doorpofts of God* s houfe, 
 and to be his fervants forever. 
 
 Obferving numbers in this excellent frame, and 
 thealfembly in general affected, and that by a divine 
 influence, I thought it proper to improve this advan- 
 tageous feafon, as Hezekiah did the deferable feafon 
 of his great palfover, 2 Chronxxxi. in order to pro- 
 mote the blefted reformation begun amongthem ; and 
 to engage thofe that appeared ferious and religious, 
 to perfevere therein j and accordingly propoied to 
 them, that they fhould renewedly enter into cove- 
 nant before God, that they would watch over them- 
 felves and one another, left they fhould di (honour 
 the name of Chrift by falling into finful and unbe- 
 coming practices. And efpecially that they would 
 watch againft the fin of drunkennefs, the Jin that ea- 
 fily befits them, and the temptations leading thereto ; 
 as well as the appearance of evil in that refpedt. 
 They cheerfully complied with the propofal, and 
 explicitly joined in that covenant. Whereupon I 
 proceeded in the moft folemn manner I was capable 
 of j to call God to witnefs rei peeling their facred en- 
 gagement ; and minded them of the grcatnefs of the 
 guilt they would contract to themfelves in the viola- 
 tion of it; as well as obferved to them, that God 
 would be a terrible witnefs againft thofe who fhould 
 B b 4 prefume 
 
62 DIVINE GRACE displayed 
 
 prefume to do fo, in the gnat and notable day of the 
 Lord. 
 
 It was a feafon of amazing folemnity ! And a 
 divine awe appeared upon the face of the whole af- 
 fembly in this tranfaction ! Affectionate fobs, fighs 
 and tears were now frequent in the audience : And 
 I doubt not but that many filent cries were then fent 
 up to the Fountain of grace, for fupplies of grace fuffi- 
 cientfor the fulfilment of thefe folemn engagements. 
 
 Baptized fix children this day. 
 
 Lord*s Day, May 4. — My people being now re- 
 moved to their lands, mentioned in my Journal of 
 March 24, where they were then, and have iince 
 been making provifion for a compact fettlement, in 
 order to their more convenient enjoyment of the gof- 
 pel, and other means of inftruction, as well as the 
 Comforts of life :I this dayviiited them (being now 
 obliged to board with an Englifh family at fome dif- 
 tance from them,) and preached to them in the fore- 
 noon from Markiv. 5. Endeavoured tofhew them 
 the reafon there was to fear left many promising ap- 
 pearances and hopeful beginnings in religion, might 
 prove abortive, like the feed dropped uponjlony places. 
 
 May 9. — Preached from John v. 40. in the open 
 wildernefs ; the Indians having as yet no houfe for 
 publick worfhipin this place, nor (carce any ihelters 
 for themfelves. Divine truths madeconfiderable im- 
 preffions upon the audience, and it was a feafon of 
 folemnity, tendernefs, and affection. 
 
 May 19. — Vifited and preached to my people 
 from Acts xx. 18. 19. And endeavoured to rectify 
 their notions about religious affections : Shewing 
 them on the one hand, the defirablenefs of religious 
 affection, tendernefs and fervent engagement in the 
 worfhip and fervice of God, when fuch affection 
 flows from a true fpiritual difcovery of divine glo- 
 ries - 9 from a juftly affecting fenfe of the tranfccndent 
 
 excellency 
 
Among the INDIANS. 6j 
 
 excellency and perfections of the blelTed God ; a 
 view of the glory and lovelinefs of the great Re- 
 deemer : And that fuch views of divine things, will 
 naturally excite us to ferve the Lord with many tears, 
 with much affection and fervency, and yet with all 
 humility of mind. And on the other hand, obferv- 
 ing the finfulnefs of feeking after high affections im- 
 mediately, and for their own fakes, that is, of mak- 
 ing them the object our eye and heart is nextly and 
 principally fet upon, when the glory of God ought 
 to be io. Shewed them, that if the heart be direct- 
 ly and chiefly fixed on God, and the foul engaged 
 to glorify him, fome degree of religious affection 
 will be the effect and attendant of it. But to feek 
 after affection, directly and chiefly to have the heart 
 principally fet upon that, is to place it in the room 
 of God and his glory. If it be fought that others 
 may take notice of and admire us for our fpirituality 
 and forwardnefs in religion, it is then abominable 
 pride : If for the fake of feeling the pleafure of be- 
 ing affected, it is then idolatry and felf gratification. 
 Laboured alfo to expofe the difagreeablenefs of thofe 
 affections that are fometimes wrought up in perfons 
 by the power of fancy and their own attempts for that 
 purpofe, while I itill endeavoured to recommend to 
 them that religious affection, fervency and devotion, 
 which ought to attend all our religious exercifes, 
 and without which religion will be but an empty 
 name and lifelefs carcafs. 
 
 Lord's Day, "June I, 1746. — Preached both fore- 
 noon and afternoon from Matth. xi. 27. 28. The pres- 
 ence of God feemed to be in the affembly, and num- 
 bers were confiderably melted and affected under 
 divine truths. There was a deferable appearance 
 in the congregation in general, an earned attention 
 and agreeable tendernefs, and it feemed as if God 
 defigned to vifit us with further fhowers of divine 
 
 grace. 
 
64 DIVINE GRACE displayed. 
 
 grace. I then baptized ten perfons, five adults and 
 five children, and was not a little refrefhed with this 
 addition made to the church , of fuch as (I hope) J}j ail be 
 faved. 
 
 June 6. — Difcourfed to my people from part of 
 Ifaiah liii. The divine prefence appeared to be 
 amongftus in fome meafure. Divers perfons were 
 much melted and refrefhed; and one man in partic- 
 ular, who had long been under concern for his foul, 
 ■was now brought to fee and feel in a very lively 
 manner, the impofTibility of doing any thing to help 
 himfelf, or to bring him into the favour of God, by 
 his tears, prayers and other religious performances, 
 and found himfelf undone as to any power or good- 
 nefs of his own, and that there was no way left him, 
 but to leave himfelf with God to be difpofed of 
 as he pleafed. 
 
 June 7. — Being defired by the Rev. Mr. William 
 Tennent to be his aiTiftant in the adminiftration of 
 the Lord's fupper : My people alfo being invited to 
 attend the facramental folemnity, they cheerfully 
 embraced the opportunity, and this day attended the 
 preparatory fervices with me. 
 
 Lord's Day, June 8. — Moil of my people, who 
 had been communicants at the Lord's table before, 
 being prefentat this facramental occafion, communi- 
 cated, with others, in this holy ordinance, at the 
 defire, and, I truft, to the fatis faction and comfort 
 of numbers of God's people, who had longed to fee 
 this day, and whofe hearts had rejoiced in this work 
 of grace among the Indians, which prepared the 
 way for what appeared fo agreeable at this time. 
 
 June 9. — A coniiderable number of my people 
 met together early in the day, in a retired place in 
 the woods, and prayed, fang and converfed of di- 
 vine things, and were feen by fome religious per- 
 fons of the white people, to be affe&ed and engaged, 
 
 and 
 
GENERAL REMARKS. 65 
 
 and divers of them in tears in thefe religious exer- 
 cifes. 
 
 'June 19. — Vifited my people with two of the 
 reverend Correspondents. Spent fome time in con- 
 verfation with fome of them upon fpiritual things ; 
 and took fome care of their worldly concerns. 
 
 This day makes up a complete year from the firft 
 time of my preaching to thefe Indians in New-Jer- 
 {ey. What amazing things has God wrought in 
 this fpace of time for thefe poor people ! What a fur- 
 priiing change appears in their tempers and behavi- 
 our ! How are morofe and favage pagans, in this 
 fhort fpace of time, transformed into agreeable, af- 
 fectionate and humble chriftians ! And their drunk- 
 en and pagan howlings, turned into devout and 
 fervent prayers and praifes to God ! They who were 
 fometimes darknefs, are now become light in the Lord. 
 May they walk as children of the light and of the day. 
 And now to him that is of power to Jlabli/h them ac- 
 cording to the gofpel and the preaching of Chrijl ; to 
 God only wife, be glory ', through Jefus Chri/l, forever 
 and ever. Amen, 
 
 BEFORE I conclude the prefent Journal, I would 
 make a few general remarks upon what to me ap- 
 pears worthy of notice, relating to the continued 
 work of grace among my people. 
 
 It is worthy of remark, that numbers of thefe peo- 
 ple are brought to a Uriel: compliance with the rules 
 of morality and fobriety, and to a confeientious per- 
 formance of the external duties of chriftianity, by the 
 internal power and influence of divine truths (the 
 peculiar doctrines of grace) upon their minds ; 
 without their having thefe moral duties frequent- 
 ly repeated and inculcated upon them, and 
 
 the 
 
66 GENERAL REMARKS. 
 
 the contrary vices particularly expofed and fpoken 
 againft. 
 
 Thofe doctrines which had the mod direct tenden- 
 cy to humble the fallen creature ; to (hew him the 
 mifery of his natural ftate ; to bring him down to 
 the foot of fovereign mercy, and to exalt the great Re- 
 deemer, difcoverhis tranfcendent excellency and in- 
 finite precioufnefs, and fo to recommend him to the 
 linner's acceptance, were the fubject matter of what 
 was delivered in publick and private to them, and 
 from time to time repeated and inculcated upon them. 
 
 And God was pleafed to give thefe divine truths 
 fuch a powerful influence upon the minds of thefe 
 people, and fo to blefs them for the effectual awak- 
 ening of numbers of them, that .their lives were 
 quickly reformed, without my infilling upon the 
 precepts of morality, and fpending time in repeated 
 harangues upon external duties. 
 
 When thefe truths were felt at heart, there was 
 now no vice unreformed ; no external duty neglect- 
 ed. Drunkennefs, the darling vice, was broken off 
 from, and fcarce an inftance of it known among my 
 hearers for months together. The abufive practice 
 of hufbands and wives in putting away each other, 
 and taking others in their ftead, was quickly reform- 
 ed : So that there are three or four couple who have 
 voluntarily difmiffed thofe they had wrongfully tak- 
 en, and now live together again in love and peace. 
 The fame might be faid of all other vicious prac- 
 tices. The reformation was general ; and all fpring- 
 ing from the internal influence of divine truths 
 upon their hearts ; and not from any external re- 
 straints, or becaufethey had heard thefe vices partic- 
 ularly expofed, and repeatedly fpoken againit : For 
 fome of them I never fo much as mentioned ; par- 
 ticularly that of the parting of men and their wives, 
 until fome, having their confcience awakened by 
 
 God's 
 
GENERAL REMARKS. 67 
 
 God's word, came, and of their own accord confeff- 
 ed themfelvcs guilty in that refpect. 
 
 And as all vice was reformed upon their feeling 
 the power of thefe truths upon their hearts, fo the 
 external duties of chriftianity were complied with, 
 and confcientioufly performed from the fame inter- 
 nal influence ; family prayer fet up and conftantly 
 maintained, unlefs among fome few more lately- 
 come, who had felt little of this divine influence. 
 This duty conftantly performed even in fome fami- 
 lies where there were none but females, and fcarce a 
 prayerlefs perfon to be found among near a hundred 
 of them. The Lord's Day ferioufly and religioufly 
 obferved, and care taken by parents to keep their 
 children orderly upon that facred day, &c. And 
 this, not becaufe I had driven them to the perform- 
 ance of thefe duties by a frequent inculcating^ 
 of them, but becaufe they had felt the power of 
 God's word upon their hearts, were made fenfible 
 of their fin and mifery, and thence could not but 
 pray, and comply with every thing they knew was 
 duty, from what they felt within themfeives. 
 When their hearts were touched with a fenfe of their 
 eternal concernments, they could pray with great 
 freedom as well as fervency, without being at the 
 trouble firftto learn fet forms for that purpofe. And 
 fome of them who were fuddenly awakened at their 
 firft coming among us, were brought to pray and 
 cry for mercy with utmoft importunity, without ever 
 being inftructed in the duty of prayer, or Co much 
 as once directed to a performance of it. 
 
 The happy effects of thefe peculiar doctrines of 
 grace which I have fo much infilled upon with this 
 people, plainly difcover, even to demonftration, that 
 inftead of their opening a door to licentioufnefs (as 
 many vainly imagine, and flanderoufly in&ruiate) 
 they have a direct contrary tendency : So that a dole 
 
 application, 
 
68 GENERAL REMARKS. 
 
 application, a fenfe and feeling of them, will have the 
 moft powerful influence towards the renovation and 
 effectual reformation both of heart and life. 
 
 A view of the blelTed effect of honed: endeavours 
 to bring home divine truths to the confcience, and 
 duly to affect the heart with them, has often mind- 
 ed me of thofe words of our Lord, (which I have 
 thought might be a proper exhortation for minifters 
 in refpect of their treating with others, as well as 
 for perfons in general with regard to themfelves) 
 Cleanfe firfi the injide of the cup and platter, that the 
 outjide may he clean alfo. Cleanfe, fays he, the in- 
 fide, that the outiidemay be clean, q. d. The on- 
 ly effectual way to have the outiide clean, is, to be- 
 gin with what is within ; and if the fountain be 
 purified, the ftreams will naturally be pure. And 
 moft certain it is, if we can awaken in tinners a live- 
 ly fenfe of their inward pollution and depravity ; 
 their need of a change of heart j and fo engage them 
 to feek after inward cleanfing, their external defile- 
 ment will naturally be cleanfed ; their vicious ways, 
 of courfe, be reformed, and their converfation and 
 behaviour become regular. 
 
 Now, although I cannot pretend that the reform- 
 ation among my people, does, in every inftance, 
 fpring from a faving change of heart, yet I may 
 truly fay, it flows from fome heart affecting view 
 and fenfe of divine truths that all have had in a great- 
 er or leffer degree. 
 
 I do not intend by what I have obferved here, to 
 reprefent the preaching of morality, and preiling 
 perfons to the external performance of duty, to be 
 altogether unneceffary and ufelefs at any time ; and 
 efpecially at times when there is lefs of divine pow- 
 er attending the means of grace : When for want of 
 internal influences, there is need of external re- 
 ftraints. It is, doubtlefs, among the things that 
 
 ought 
 
GENERAL REMARKS. 69 
 
 ought to be done, while others are not to be left undone. 
 But what I principally defigned by this remark, was 
 to difcover plain matter of fact, viz. That the re- 
 formation, the fobriety and external compliance 
 with the rules and duties of chriftianity, appearing 
 among my people, are not the effecl: of any mere 
 doctrinal inftruction, or merely rational view of the 
 beauty of morality, but from the internal power 
 and influence that divine truths (the foul humbling 
 doctrines of grace) have had upon their hearts. 
 
 It is remarkable alfo that God has fo continued 
 and renewed the mowers of his grace here ; fo 
 quickly fet up his vifible kingdom among thefe 
 people i and lo imiled upon them in relation to their 
 acquirement of knowledge, both divine and human. 
 It is now near a year fince the beginning of this gra- 
 cious outpouring ot the divine Spirit among them : 
 And although it has often feemed to decline and 
 -abate for iome fhort fpace of time (as may be ob- 
 ierved by feveral palTages in my Journal, where I have 
 endeavoured to note things juft as they appeared to 
 me from time to time) yet the fhower has feemed 
 to be renewed, and the work of grace revived again. 
 And as God has continued and renewed the mow- 
 ers of his grace among this people for fome time, fo 
 he has with uncommon quicknefs fet up his vifible 
 kingdom, and gathered himfelf a church in the midft 
 of them. I have now baptized feventy feven perfons ; 
 whereof thirty eight are adults, and thirty nine chil- 
 dren ; and all within the fpace of eleven months pail. 
 And it muit be noted that I have baptized no adults, 
 but fuch as appeared to have a work of fpecial grace 
 wrought in their hearts : I mean fuch who have 
 had the experience not only of the awakening and 
 humbling, but (in a judgment of charity ) of the 
 renewing and comforting influences of the divine 
 Spirit, 
 
 I 
 
70 GENERAL REMARKS. 
 
 I like wife adminiftered the Lord's fupper to a 
 number of perfons, who, I have abundant reafon to 
 think (as I el fe where obferved) wer*e proper fubjects 
 of that ordinance, within the fpace of ten months 
 and ten days after my firfr. coming among thefe In- 
 dians in New-Jerfcy. And from the time that, I 
 am informed, fome of them were attending an idol- 
 atrous feaft and facrifice in honour to devils, to the 
 time they fat down at the Lord's table (I truft) to 
 the honour of God, was not more than a full year. 
 Surely Chrift's little flock here, fo fuddenly gather- 
 ed from among pagans, may juftly fay, in the lan- 
 guage of the church of old, The Lord hath done great 
 things for us, whereof we are glad. 
 
 Much of the goodnefs of God has alfo appeared 
 in relation to their acquirement of knowledge, both 
 in religion and in the affairs of common life. There 
 has been a wonderful third: after chriftian knowledge 
 prevailing among them in general, and an eager de- 
 lire of being inltru&ed in chriftian doctrines and 
 manners. This has prompted them to afk many- 
 pertinent as well as important queftions ; the anfwers 
 to which have tended much to enlighten their minds 
 and promote their knowledge in divine things. 
 Many of the doctrines I have delivered, they have 
 queried with me about, in order to gain further 
 light and infight into them ; particularly the doc- 
 trine of pred eft i nation. And have from time to 
 time manifefted a good underftanding of them, by 
 the anfwers to the queftions propofed to them in my 
 chatechetical lectures. 
 
 They have like wife queried with me, refpecting 
 a proper method as well as proper matter of prayer, 
 and expreflions fuitable to be made ufe of in that 
 religious exercife ; and have taken pains in or- 
 der to the performance of this duty with underftand- 
 ing. 
 
 They 
 
GENERAL REMARKS. 71 
 
 'They have likewife taken pains, and appeared re- 
 markably apt in learning to fing pfalm tunes, and 
 are now able to ling with a good degree of decency 
 in the worfhip of God. 
 
 They have alfo acquired a considerable degree of 
 ufeful knowledge in the affairs of common life : 
 So that they now appear like rational creatures, fit 
 for human fociety, free of that favage roughnefs 
 and brutifh ftupidity, which rendered them very 
 difagreeable'in their pagan ftate. 
 
 And as they are defirous of inftruction, and fur- 
 prifingly apt in the reception of it, fo Divine Provi- 
 dence has fmiled upon them in regard of proper" 
 means in order to it. The attempts made for the pro- 
 curement of a fchool among them have been fucceed- 
 ed, and a kind Providence has fent them a fchool- 
 mafter, of whom I may juftly fay, / know of no ?nan 
 like minded, who will naturally care for ihzixflate, 
 
 He has generally thirty or thirty five children in 
 his fchool : And when he kept an evening fchool (as 
 he did while the length of the evenings would admit 
 of it) he had fifteen or twenty people, married and 
 fingle. 
 
 The children learn with furprifing readinefs ; fo 
 that their mailer tells me, he never had an Englifh 
 fchool that learned, in general, comparably fo faft. 
 There were not above two in thirty, although fome 
 of them were very fmall, but what learned to know 
 all the letters in the alphabet diflincvtly, within three 
 days after his entrance upon his bufinefs ; and di- 
 vers in that fpace of time learned to fpell considera- 
 bly : And fome of them fince the beginning of Feb- 
 ruary lafl (at which time the fchool was fet up) 
 have learned fo much, that they are able to read in a 
 Pfalter or Teftarnent without fpelling. 
 
 They arc instructed twice a week in the reverend 
 aJfiTembly's Shorter catechifm, viz. on Wednefday 
 
 C c and 
 
72 GENERAL REMARKS. 
 
 a 
 
 and Saturday. And fome of them, fince the latter 
 end of February, (at which time they began) have 
 learned to fay it pretty dictin&ly by heart confidera- 
 bly more than half through : And moil: of them 
 have made fome proficiency in it. 
 
 They are likewife inftrudted in the duty of fe- 
 cret prayer, and moft of them conftantly attend it 
 night and morning, and are very careful to inform 
 their matter if they apprehend any of their little 
 fchool mates neglect that religious exercife. 
 
 It is worthy to be noted alfo, to the praife of fov- 
 ereign grace, that amidft fo great a work of convic- 
 tion, fo much concern and religious affection, there 
 has been no pravelency, nor indeed any confiderable 
 appearance of falfe religion, (if I may fo term it) or 
 heats of imagination, intemperate zeal, and fpiritu- 
 al pride ; which corrupt mixtures too often attend 
 the revival and powerful propagation of religion ; 
 and that there have been fo very few inftances of 
 irregular and fcandalous behaviour among thofe who 
 have appeared ferious. 
 
 But this work of grace has, in the main, been car- 
 ried on with a furprifing degree of purity, and free- 
 dom from trafh and corrupt mixture. The relig- 
 ious concern that perfons have been under has gen- 
 erally been rational and juft; arifing from a fenfe of 
 their fins and expofednefs to the divine difpleafure 
 on the account of them j as well as their utter ina- 
 bility to deliver themfelves from the mifery they 
 felt and feared. And if there has been in any in- 
 ftances an appearance of irrational concern and per- 
 turbation of mind, when the fubjects of it knew not 
 why, yet there has been no prevalency of any fuch 
 thing ; and indeed I fcarce know of any initance of 
 that nature at all. And it is very remarkable, that 
 although" the concern of many perfons under con- 
 victions of their perifhing ftate has been very great 
 
 and 
 
GENERAL REMARKS. 73 
 
 and preffing, yet I have never feen any thing like 
 defperation attending it in any one inftance. They 
 have had the mod lively fenfe of their undonenefs 
 in themfelves ; have been brought to give up all 
 hopes of deliverance from themfelves ; ,and their 
 fpiritual exercifes leading hereto, have been attend- 
 ed with great diftrefs andanguifh of foul : And yet, 
 in the feafons of the greater! extremity, there has 
 been no appearance of defpair in any of them. 
 
 The comfort that perfons have obtained after their 
 diftreiTes, has likewife in general appeared folid, 
 well grounded and fcriptural ; arifing from a fpirit- 
 ual and fupernatural illumination of mind, a view of 
 divine things (in a meafure) as they are, a compla- 
 cency of foul in the divine perfections, and a pecu- 
 liar fatisfaclion in the way of falvation, by free fov- 
 ereign grace in the great Redeemer. 
 
 Their joys have ieemed to rife from a variety of 
 views and confiderations of divine things, although 
 for fubftance the fame. Some, who under convic- 
 tion feemed to have the hardeft ftruggles and heart 
 rifings againft divine fovereignty, have feemed at 
 the firfl dawn of their comfort, to rejoice in a pecu- 
 liar manner in that divine perfection, have been de- 
 lighted to think that themfelves, and all .things elfe, 
 were in the hand of God, and that he would dif- 
 pofe of them jufr. as he pleafed. 
 
 Others, who juit before their reception of comfort, 
 have been remarkably op pre (Ted with a fenfe of their 
 undonenefs and poverty, who have feen themfelves „ 
 as it were, falling down into remedilefs perdition, 
 have been at firfr. more peculiarly delighted with a 
 view of the freenefs and riches of divine grace, and 
 the offer of falvation made to perifhing finners with- 
 out money ami without price. 
 
 Some have at firft appeared to rejoice efpecially in 
 + :-ie wifdorn of God, c red in the way of falva- 
 
 C c % tion 
 
74 GENERAL REMARKS. 
 
 tion by Chrift. ; it then appearing to them a new and 
 living way, a way they had never thought nor had 
 any juft conception of, until opened to them by the 
 fpecial influence of the Divine Spirit. And fome of 
 them, upon a lively fpi ritual view of this way of fal- 
 vation,- have wondered at their pad folly in feeking 
 falvation other ways, and have admired that they 
 never favv this way of falvation before, which now 
 appeared fo plain and eafy, as well as excellent, to 
 them. 
 
 Others again have had a more general view of the 
 beauty and excellency of Chrift, and have had their 
 fouls delighted with an apprehenfion of his divine 
 glory, as unfpeakably exceeding all they had ever 
 conceived of before : Yet without fingling out (as 
 it werej any one of the divine perfections in particu- 
 lar. So that although their comforts have feemed to 
 arife from a variety of views and confederations of 
 divine glories, flill they were fpiritualand fupernat- 
 ral views of them, and not groundlefs fancies, that 
 were the fpring of their joys and comforts. 
 
 Yet it muftbe acknowledged, that when this work 
 became fo univerfal and prevalent, and gained fuch 
 general credit and efteem among the Indians, that 
 Satan feemed to have little advantage of working 
 againft. it in his own proper garb ; he then tranf- 
 formed himfelf into an angel of light , and made fomc 
 vigorous attempts to introduce turbulent commo- 
 tions of the paflions in the room of genuine convic- 
 tions of fin, imaginary and fanciful notions of Chrift, 
 as appearing to the mental eye in a human fhape, 
 and being in fome particular poftures, &c. in the 
 room of fpiritual and fupernatural difcoveries of his 
 divine glory and excellency, as well as divers other 
 delufions. And I have reafon to think, that if thefe 
 things had met with countenance and encourage- 
 ment, there would have been a very confiderable har- 
 
 veft 
 
GENERAL REMARKS. 75 
 
 veft of this kind of converts here. Spiritual pride 
 alfo difcovered itfelf in various inftances. Some per- 
 fbns who had been under great affections, feemed 
 very defirous from thence of being thought truly 
 gracious ; who, when I could not but exprefs to 
 them my fears refpecting their fpiritual ftates, dif- 
 covered their refentments to a conliderable degree 
 upon that occafion. There alfo appeared in one or 
 two of them an unbecoming ambition of being teach- 
 ers of others. So that Satan has been a bufy adver- 
 fary here as well as elfewhere. But blelTed be God, 
 though fomething of this nature has appeared yet 
 nothing of it has prevailed, nor indeed made any 
 confiderable progrefs at all. My people are now 
 apprized of thefe things, are acquainted that Sa- 
 tan in fuch a manner transformed himfelf into an angel 
 of light in the firft feafon of the great outpouring of 
 the Divine Spirit in the days of the apoftles, and that 
 fomething of this nature, in a greater orleiTer degree, 
 has attended almoft every revival and remarkable 
 propagation of true religion ever fince. And they 
 have learned fo to diftinguifh between the gold and 
 drofs, that the credit of the latter is trod down like 
 the mire of the flreets : And it being natural for this 
 kind of ftuffto die with its credit, there is now fcarce 
 any appearance of it among them. 
 
 And as there has been no prevakney of irregular 
 heats, imaginary notions, fpiritual pride, and fa tan - 
 kal delufions, among my people, fo there has been 
 very few inftances of fcandalous and irregular be- 
 haviour among thole who have made a profeffion, or 
 even an appearance of lerioufnefs. I do not know 
 of more than three or four fuch performs that have 
 been guilty of any open mifconduCt, fince their flrfe 
 acquaintance with chriftianity, and not one that per- 
 fifts in any thing of that nature. And perhaps the 
 remarkable purity of this work in the latter refp 
 
 C c 3 its 
 
76 Difficulties attending the 
 
 its freedom from frequent inftances of fcandal, is very 
 much owing to its purity in the former refpect, its 
 freedom from corrupt mixtures of fpiritual pride, 
 wild fire and delufion, which naturally lay a founda- 
 tion for fcandalous practices. 
 
 May this blefted work in the power and purity of 
 it prevail among the poor Indians here, as well as 
 fpread elfewhere, until their remoteft tribes fhall/^ 
 the falvation of God. Amen. 
 
 ENUMERATING fome of the difficulties which 
 obftructed his fuccefs in chriftianizing the Indians, 
 Mr. Brainerd fays, 
 
 I have met with great difficulty in my work 
 among thefe Indians, from the rooted averfion 
 to chriftianity that generally prevails among them. 
 They are not only brutiftily ftupid and ignorant of 
 divine things, but many of them are obftinately fet 
 againft chriftianity, and feem to abhor even the chrif- 
 tian name. 
 
 This averfion to chriftianity arifes partly from the 
 view of the immorality and vicious behaviour of 
 many who are called chriftians. They obferve that 
 horrid wickednefs in nominal chriftians, which the 
 light of nature condemns in themfelves : And not 
 having diftinguifhing views of things, are ready to 
 look upon all the white people alike, and to con- 
 demn them alike for the abominable practices of 
 fome. Hence, when I have attempted to treat with 
 them about chriftianity, they have frequently ob- 
 jected the fcandalous practices of chriftians, and caft 
 in my teeth all they could think of that was odious 
 in the conduct of any of them. Have obferv- 
 ed to me, that the white people lie, defraud, 
 Heal, and drink, worfe than the Indians : That 
 
 they 
 
Chriftianizing of the Indians. 77 
 
 they have taught the Indians thefe things, ef- 
 pecially the latter of them ; who before the com- 
 ing of the Englifli, knew of no fuch thing as ftrong 
 drink : That the Englifli have by thefe means, 
 made them quarrel, and kill one another, and in 
 a word, brought them to the practice of all 
 thofe vices that now prevail among them. So that 
 they are now vaftly more vicious, as well as much 
 more miferable, than they were before the coming of 
 the white people into the country. 
 
 Thefe, and fuch like objections, they frequently 
 make againft chriftianity, which are not eafily an- 
 fwered to their fatisfaction ; many of them being facts 
 too notorioufly true. 
 
 The only way I have to take in order to furmount 
 this difficulty, is, to diftinguiiTi between nominal 
 and real chriftians, and to mew them that the ill con- 
 duct of many of the former proceeds not from 
 their being chriftians, but from their being chrif- 
 tians only in name, not in heart, 6cc. To which it 
 has iometimesbeen objected, that if all thofe who will 
 cheat the Indians, are chriftians only in name, there 
 are but few left in the country to be chriftians in 
 heart. This, and many other of the remarks they 
 pafs upon the white people, and their mifcarriages, I 
 am forced to own, and cannot but grant, that many 
 nominal chriftians are more abominably wicked 
 than the Indians. But then I attempt to mow them 
 that there are fome who feel the power of chrittian- 
 ity, that are not Co. And \ alk them when they ev- 
 er iaw me guilty of the vices they complain of, and 
 charge chriitians in general with. But (till the great 
 difficulty is, that the people who live back in the 
 country ncareft to them, and the traders that go 
 among them, are generally of the mod irreligious 
 and vicious fort, and the conduct of one or two per- 
 fons, be it never fo exemplary, is not fufficient to 
 C c 4 counterbalance 
 
78 Difficulties attending the 
 
 counterbalance the vicious behaviour of fo many 
 of the fame denomination, and fo to recommend 
 chriftianity to pagans. 
 
 Another thing that ferves to make them more 
 averfe to chriftianity, is a fear of being enflaved. 
 They are, perhaps, fome of the molt jealous people 
 living, and extremely averfe to a Hate of fervitude, 
 and hence are always afraid of fome defign forming 
 againft them. Befides, they feem to have no fenti- 
 ments of generofity, benevolence and goodnefs : 
 That if any thing be propofed to them, as being for 
 their good, they are ready rather to fufpect that there 
 is at bottom fome defign forming againft. them, than 
 that fuch propofals flow from good will to them, and 
 a defire ot their welfare. And hence, when 1 have 
 attempted to recommend chriftianity to their accept- 
 ance, they have fometimes objected, that the white 
 people have come among them, have cheated them 
 out of their lands, driven them back to the moun- 
 tains, from the pleafant places they ufed to enjoy by 
 the fea fide, &c. That therefore they have no reafon 
 to think the white people are now feeking their wel- 
 fare ; but rather that they have fent me out to draw 
 them together under a pretence or kindnefs to them, 
 that they may have an opportunity to make flaves 
 of them as they do of the poor negroes, or elfe to 
 fhip them on board their veifels, and make them 
 fight with their enemies, &c. Thus they have often- 
 times conftrued all the kindnefs I could fhew them, 
 and the hard (hips I have endured in order to treat 
 with them about chriftianity. " He never would 
 (fay they j take all this pains to do us good 3 he mu|t 
 have fome wicked defign to hurt us fome way or 
 other." And to give them alfurance of the contrary, 
 is not an eafy matter, while there arc fo many, who 
 (agreeable to their apprehenfionj are only ieekir.^ 
 their own, not the good ot others, 
 
 To 
 
Chrijiianizing of the Indians. 79 
 
 To remove this difficulty I inform them, that I 
 am not fent out among them by thofe perfons in 
 thefe provinces, who, they fuppofe, have cheated 
 them out of their lands, but by pious people at a 
 great diftance, who never had an inch of their lands, 
 nor ever thought of doing them any hurt, &c. 
 
 But here will arife fo many frivolous and imper- 
 tinent queftions, that it would tire one's patience, 
 and wear out one's fpirits to hear them ; fuch as 
 that, '* But why did not thefe good people fend you 
 to teach us before, while we had our lands down by 
 the fea fide, &c? If they had fent you then, we mould 
 likely have heard you and turned christians." The 
 poor creatures ftill imagining that I fhould be much 
 beholding to them in cafe they would hearken tochrif- 
 tianity, and insinuating that this was a favour they 
 could not now be fo good as to mew me, feeing they 
 had received fo many injuries from the white people. 
 
 Another fpring of averfion to chrifhianity in the 
 Indians, is, their rtrong attachment to their own re- 
 ligious notions, (if they maybe called religious) and 
 the early prejudices they have imbibed in favour of 
 their own frantick and ridiculous kind of worfhip. 
 What their notions of God are, in their pagan ftate, 
 is hard precifely to determine. I have taken much 
 pains to inquire of my chriftian people whether 
 they, before their acquaintance with chriftianity, 
 imagined there was a plurality of great invisible 
 powers, or whether they fuppofed but one fuch be- 
 ing, and worshipped him in a variety of forms and 
 ihapes : But cannot learn any thing of them fo dif- 
 tinct as to be fully Satisfying upon the point. Their 
 notions in that Slate were io prodigiouily dark and 
 confufed, that they feemed not to know what they 
 thought themlelves. But fo far as I can learn, they 
 had a notion of a plurality of invifible deities, and 
 paid Some kind of homage to them proinifcuouily, 
 
 under 
 
So Difficulties attending the 
 
 under a great variety of forms and (ha pes. And it 
 is certain, thofe who yet remain pagans pay fome 
 kind of fuperilitious reverence to beafts, birds, fifti- 
 es, and even reptiles; that is, fome to one kind of an- 
 imal and fome to another. They do not indeed fup- 
 pofe a divine power eiTential to, or inherent in thefe 
 creatures, but that fome inviiible beings (I cannot 
 learn that it is always one fuch being only, but di- 
 vers ; not diftinguimed from each other by certain 
 names, but only notionally) communicate to thefe 
 animals a great power, either one or other of them, 
 (juft as it happens) or perhaps fometimes all of 
 them, and fo make thefe creatures the immediate au- 
 thors of good to certain perfons. Whence fuch a 
 creature becomes facred to the perfons to whom he is 
 fuppofed to be the immediate author of good, and 
 through him they mull: worfhip the invifible pow- 
 ers, though to others he is no more than another 
 creature. And perhaps another animal is looked 
 upon to be the immediate author of good to another, 
 and confequently he muft worfhip the invifible 
 powers in that animal. And I have known a pagan 
 burn fine tobacco for incenfe, in order to appeafe the 
 anger of that inviiible power which he fuppofed 
 preiided over rattlefnakes, becaufe one of thefe ani- 
 mals was killed by another Indian near his houfe. 
 
 But after the ftriclreft inquiry refpecting their no- 
 tions of the Deity, I find, that in ancient times, be-' 
 fore the coming of the white people, fome fuppofed 
 there were four inviiible powers who prefided over: 
 the four corners of the earth. Others imagined the 
 fun to be the only djaty, and that all things were" 
 made by him: Others at the fame time having a 
 confufed notion of a certain body or fountain of de-' 
 ity, fomevvhat like the ar.ima mundi, fo frequently^ 
 mentioned by the more learned ancient heathens, 
 diffufing itfelf to variou?- animals, and even to inani- 
 mate 
 
Chrijiianizing of the Indians. 81 
 
 mate things, making them the immediate authors 
 of good to certain perfons, as was before ob- 
 ferved with refpect to various fuppofed deities. 
 But after the coming of the white people, they feem- 
 ed to fuppofe there were three deities, and three on- 
 ly, becaufe they faw people of three different kinds 
 of complexion, viz. Englifh, Negroes and them- 
 felves. 
 
 It is a notion pretty generally" prevailing among 
 them, that it was not the fame God made them who 
 made us ; but that they were made after the white 
 people ; which further ihews, that they imagine a 
 plurality of divine powers. And I fancy they fup- 
 pofe their god gained fome fpecial (kill by feeing 
 the white people made, and fo made them better : 
 For it is certain they look upon themfelves and their 
 methods of living (which, they fay, their god ex- 
 prefsly prefcribed for them) vaftly preferable to the 
 white people, and their methods. And hence will 
 frequently fit and laugh at them, as being good for 
 nothing elfe but to plough, and fatigue themfelves 
 with hard labour ; while they enjoy the fatisfac- 
 tion of ftretching themfelves on the ground, and 
 fleeping as much as they pleafe, and have no other 
 trouble but now and then to chafe the deer, which 
 is often attended with pleafure rather than pain. 
 Hence, by the way, many of them look upon it as 
 difgraceful for them to become chriflians, as it would 
 be eiteemed among chriflians for any to become pa- 
 gans. And now although they fuppofe our religion 
 will do well enough for us, becaufe prefcribed br 
 our God, yet it is no ways proper for them, becaufe 
 not of the fame make and original. This they have 
 fometimes offered as a reafon why they did not in- 
 cline to hearken to chriflianity. 
 
 They feem to have fome confufed notion about a 
 future ftate of exigence, and many of them imagine 
 
 that . 
 
82 Difficulties attcndhig the 
 
 that the Chichung (i. e. The fhadow) or what fur- 
 vives the body, will at death go fouthward, and in 
 an unknown, but curious place, will enjoy fome 
 kind of happinefs, fuch as hunting, feafting, dancing, 
 and the like. And what they fuppofe will contrib- 
 ute much to their happinefs in that ftate is, that they 
 fhall never be weary of thofe entertainments. It 
 feems by this notion of their going fouthward to obtain 
 happinefs, as if they had their couiTe into thefe parts 
 of the world from fome very cold climate, and found 
 the further they went fouth ward the more comfort- 
 able they were ; and thence concluded, that perfect 
 felicity was to be found further towards the fame 
 point. 
 
 They feem to have fome faint and glimmering no- 
 tion about rewards and punifhments, or at leaft hap- 
 pinefs and mifery in a future ftate, that is, fome that I 
 have converfed with, though others feem to know of 
 no fuch thing. Thofe that fuppofe this, feem to im- 
 agine that mofr. will be happy, and that thofe who 
 are not fo, will be punifhed only with privation, 
 being only excluded the walls of that good world 
 where happy fouls mall dwell. 
 
 Thefe rewards and punifhments they fuppofeto de- 
 pend entirely upon their conduct with relation to the 
 duties of the fecond table, i.e. theirbehaviour towards 
 mankind, and feem, fo far as I can fee, not to imag- 
 ine that they have any reference to their religious 
 notions or practices, or any thing that relates to the 
 worfhip of God. I remember I once confulted a 
 very ancient, but intelligent Indian, upon this point, 
 for my own fitisfaction ; afked him whether the 
 Indians of old times had fuppofed there was any 
 thing of the man that would furvivc the body. He 
 replied, Yes. I aikedhim, where they fuppofed its 
 abode would be. He replied, It would go fouthward. 
 I afked him further, whether it would be happy 
 
 there. 
 
Chrijlianizing of the Indians. 83 
 
 there. He anfwered, niter a confklerable paufe, 
 that the fouls of good folks would be happy, and 
 the fouls of bad folks miferable. I then aflced him, 
 who he called bad folks. His anfwer (as I remem- 
 ber) was, thofe who lie, fteal, quarrel with their 
 neighbours, are unkind to their friends, and efpecial- 
 }y to aged parents, and in a word, fuch as are a 
 plague to mankind. Thefe were his bad folks ; 
 but not a word was faid about their negledt of di- 
 vine worfbip, and their badnefs in that refpect. 
 
 They have indeed fome kind of religious wor- 
 ship, are frequently offering facrifices to fome fup- 
 pofed invifible powers, and are very ready to impute 
 their calamities in the prefent world, to the negle<5t 
 of thefe facrifices ; but there is no appearance of rev- 
 erence and devotion in the homage they pay them ; 
 and what they do of this nature, feems to be done 
 only to appeafe the fuppofed anger of their deities, 
 to engage them to be placable to themfelves, and 
 do them no hurt, or at mofl, only to invite thefe 
 powers to fucceed them in thofe enterprifes they are 
 engaged in refpecting the prefent life. So that in 
 offering thefe facrifices, they feem to have no refer- 
 ence to a future (late, but only to prefent comfort. 
 
 What further contributes to their averfionto chvif- 
 tianity, is, the influence that their powwows (con- 
 jurers or diviners) have upon them. Thefe are a 
 fort of perfons who are fuppofed to have a power of 
 foretelling future events, of recovering the lick, at 
 leaft oftentimes, and of charming, enchanting, or 
 poifoning perfons to death, by their magick divina- 
 tions. And their fpirit, in its various operations, 
 feems to be a fatanical imitation of the fpiirit of 
 prophecy that the church in early ages was favoured 
 with. Some of thefe diviners are endowed with this 
 fpirit in infancy. Others in adult age. It feems 
 not to depend upon their own will, nor to be acquir- 
 ed. 
 
84 Difficult if s attending, &c. 
 
 cd by any endeavours of the perfon who is the fub- 
 jed of it, although it is fuppofed to be given to chil- 
 dren fometimcs in confequence of fome means the 
 parents ufe with them for that purpofe : One of 
 which is to make the chill fwallow a fmall Jiving 
 frog, after having p< i , mc fuperftitious rites 
 
 and ceremonies upon it. They are not under the m r 
 fluetue ol this fpirit always alike; but it comes up- 
 on them at times. An i thofc v. ho are endow 
 with it, are accounted fingularly la. 
 
 Thei • thin fix them down in their idol- 
 
 atry, an. I to i em believe th fety to 
 
 be i d, but by their continuing to offer fuch 
 
 facrifio tad the ceihatthefe powwov 
 
 have upon them, either through the eileem or t 
 
 they have of them, is no fmall hindrance to their em. 
 bra. iillianity. 
 
 F I N I S. 
 
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