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 PRli\€ETO!V^ i¥. J. 
 
 DONATION or 
 
 S A M U K I. A O N K W , 
 
 ^^ , , U F H H I I. A I) K 1. V H I A . V A . 
 
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 ; 'V/'<^//.Sectron...r!V^...f 
 
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 /if 
 
 
 
THE 
 
 CEREMONY-MONGER, 
 
 CHARACTER. 
 
 In Ten C H A P T E R S. 
 
 I. Of Bowing to the Al- 
 tar. 
 
 II. Of Implicit Faith. 
 
 III. Of Reading Dons. 
 
 IV. Of Reading alternate- 
 ly Athanajius*^ Creed, 
 
 V. Of Bowing to the 
 Name of Jcfu. 
 
 VI. Of unlighted Candles 
 on the Altar. 
 
 In /i&^ Conclusion. 
 
 I. Of Sureties in Baptifm. 
 
 II. Of Efcapes in the 
 Common-Prayer. 
 
 III. Of Bilhops. 
 
 IV. Of Ordination* 
 
 Of the Nature of a L I B E L^ and ScandaJmn 
 Magnattm. 
 
 And, in the CONCLUSION, 
 
 Hinting at fome Mathematical Untruths ; and what 
 Bishops were, are, and fhould be. 
 
 ■ ^ . / 
 
 By the late E. H ickeringill, Reftor of the 
 Redory of Jll-SaintSj in CoJchefter. 
 
 te Men of Athens, I perceive that m ail 7'hings ye are 
 
 too fuperftitiotis, A 6ls x vi i . 23. 
 Thofe that walk in ^ride, God is able to ahafe, Dan. iv. 5 7. 
 
 LONDON: 
 
 Printed for T. C. and Sold by the Bookfellers. 
 
 [ Price IS. 6d. ] 
 
.mi 
 
T H E 
 
 INXRODU.CTION 
 
 S black as my Ceremon^monger is (here 
 defcrihed) he is neither 7^/(?or nor Tawny- 
 Moor, Ij7fidel nor Jew 5 but a "Proieflajit 
 profefTed : He may be a ^apift, or worfe 
 (an Atheift; in Mafquerade 5 but hh Facs 
 is Proteftant. 
 
 I grant, that I have cenfured, condemn- 
 ed, an3 hanged hjm up in Effigie 5 yet I have drawn no 
 Blood, done Hurt to none 5 for my Man is a Man of Clouts^ 
 a Man in the Cimds, a mere Individuum Vagiirn < So that 
 no Man- alive can be oflfended j becaufe, let his Guilt bo 
 never fo great, in being like my Whiffler-Ecdeiiaftical, tho' 
 it nip him to the very Heart, and. fly in his Face till ths 
 Slood come thither and make him *l;hijhy yet he is as fafs 
 as a ^hief'wi a Mill, except become into Court, and confefi 
 himfelf to be the Man which is here (foi> his Guilt) expofed 
 an4 fentenced. 
 
 If the Fool confefSy he muft//#^r, like that filly Wit- all j 
 (who fhall be namelefs) and not being content to be a CifC- 
 kold, he muft needs ijoind his Horny*sind proclaim hiS own 
 Shame in open Court, by good Evideivce 5 and fo he remains 
 3i Cuckold upon Record 'j like the filly Snail, who had never. 
 been taken ft^r a Corntido^ or horried 'Bnite^ if he himfelf 
 had 7iot thruft out his own Horns : If fuch Difafters bchappsn 
 to a wife Man, his wifejl i3:ay is to make no Words on'f, 
 but to cover the Shame as decently as may be, and put his 
 Hor72S 171 his Tocket, , 
 
 • • . A . . Thi:^ 
 
h / TheJntroduUiofi. 
 
 Tbrs SnitCy with his irrational Ceremonies, fliould belong . 
 to a Proteftant Church and Conttitution 5 but (like an out- ' 
 lying Deer) which are uWlly the luftieft and fatteft of all: 
 the hriitiflo Herd) has, through Wantonnefs, or greedy Ra- . 
 vagc, hroke out of the ^ale of the Church 3 y^here,. if he 
 would be content to keep^ it would }^q fafer for him 5 and 
 my Defign is (.in pure Love and Kindnefs to his Welfare) 
 thus gently to htmt him home 5 and fo he will acknowledge 
 itfurely: But v^/hat Gratitude can a* Man in reaTon exped: 
 from a Brute, who hears no Reafon, but is guided by furious 
 Paflion and Appetite? 
 
 And 1 deny not, but that he may owe much of the Flcfh 
 on his Back to his ramhli72g after T^opiflo-like Ceremonies 5 
 . (.when Popery did fo much influence the Thrortb, in the h^p- 
 py Days of the^wo Caftlemai'ns and Father ^etre) who not 
 being able to bring in Fo^pQiy harefacedy therefore the ^iid 
 pro ^lOy the fonj^thing like it, and near it, rhuft be coun- 
 tenanced and preferred: And thy Ceremony- monger is now 
 as loth to depart with them (his dear, dear, filly, and illegal 
 Ceremonies) for old Acquaintance fake, as w/>Z? his old Deg^ 
 or old Horfe, that though pafi Service, yet he retains thefn 
 for old Kindnefles, and old done 'Deeds, 
 
 Arfd yet they arc fuch,. as neither the Laws of Qod iior 
 jlla7i ever made 3 and therefore mufl be condetnned and 
 executed, if brought to tJfe ^ar of Holy JVrit and right 
 Reafon. ' > 
 
 At which Bar no Man has a heiier CoramiJJzon of Oyer and 
 terminer, tcf arraign and judge him, than myfelf, as being 
 lawfully (into the Sacrec^ Order of Priefthood) ordained, and 
 the Holy Bible then fut into my Hands % the Learned 
 ,Satmderfon (then'Bi/liop q^ Lincoln^ and now (I ddubrnot) 
 a Saint in Heaven,* though he was nicknamad the ^rethy- 
 terian 'Bifhop) and of a Captain (both perfuaded me afid) 
 made me a Pric^, iaying, ^ake thou Authority to preach 
 tVoe Gofpel., 
 
 There's my Cftmmiffion ; and let any Man, Pope or Bi- 
 lliop, /hew a Patent more authentick to teach all Nations, 
 *aud I will never preach nor write Divinity hereafter : But 
 there are but very few Clergymen or Bi/hops in E??gla72d 
 (either in or out of the Univerfities) that can /hew an Autho- 
 rity off© ancient ftanding, or of fo old a Style and Date, as 
 mini^. Nay, we had no Scripture, if Writing be not Preach- 
 
llje IntroditcHon. • iii 
 
 ing : Befides, if I ihould not thus* teach my Ceremony- 
 monger by the Prefs^ t could not admoni/h him at all 5 for 
 my Pulpit is a narrow Place, though it ftand aloft^ and few 
 Ceremony-mongers flefire to be cured : For, like Men that ^ 
 have filthy old Uieers on their Legs, they hate to be drefled 
 before Folks- they«had rather it /hould fefter, than be 
 known.* There is not one WOrd in the Ordination of Bi- 
 fliops, in our Common Prayer- Book, ofin Holy Writ, that 
 gives a Biihop naore authenrick Orders to preach, than a 
 l^resbyter or Priett 5 only the King's Mandate makes him 
 the King's Commiflioner : Bur, in reference to God or the 
 People, a Bifhop has no better or fre/her Charaf^er to teach, 
 or adminifter the Holy Sacraments, than a Presbyter 5 nor 
 has any King or Parliament, Bifhop or Synod, ^ny lawful 
 Power to {ilence me for teaching Truth : The Character is 
 indelible. , 
 
 . For no Flelh alive has more Authority than our Lord Je- 
 fus and the Afoflles had ^ which was for Edification^ not 
 2)fJlrti6liou ; to do Good, not Harm ; to advanc^^ not to' 
 deprefs Truth 5 to fave Mens Lives, Liberties, and Proper- 
 ties, not to deftroy. 
 
 Butfome may objedl to me, that the late Ki?2g did /ilence — 
 
 me, fhut me out of my own Pulpit, and banifhed me frotni -^ 
 
 my Houfe and Home, my felf a4)d my Family, for three or 
 lour Years laft, not only again ffLzw, Equity, and Confci- 
 ence, but without Lslw,. or any Colour , Procefs, or Form of 
 Law 5 and yet I fubmitted in Quietnefs and Silence, and 
 made no Noife iii the World, nor to the World ; not fo much 
 as Groaning or Complaining, but fat down filently. ^ 
 
 To which I anfwer, by confefTing that it is (all of it) a 
 gr^at Truth 5 and I was by'arbitrary Power and Oppreffion, 
 to my Damage jome hundreds of Pounds, thus lilenced (as 
 aforefaid) by Will and Pleafure : A Word from the Court 
 ejected me from my Pulpit and my Houfe ; but aifo a Wgrd 
 from the Court recalled me, aboi^ a Mont!i before the T^titch 
 landed. ;'/," . ' i * 
 
 But to wh'6m cpuld I' cbmplaln ? To the Throne? I ^\^, 
 without R8med5',* for. that oppreft me. To the righteous 
 God I made my humble Appeal, and he heard in Heaven 
 his Dwelling-Place, ajid laughed my Jdverfaries to 'fcorii 5 
 yea, the Lord has had thefn in 'Derifion 3 and thofe that 
 banifhed me from my Houfe without Law, and without' 4 
 
 A a • . Caufa 
 
iv . The IntroduUion. 
 
 Caufe, are, by God's righteous Hand and Judgment, turned 
 out of their Houfes and Homes 5 and before they went, re- 
 canted their Oppreflion towards me*^ but going away- in 
 hafte, fi^ed not Jo m^^ke me Rcftitutioti for»thc Injuftice. 
 
 There is a Time for all Things 3 our bkiTed Saviour had 
 many things to fay, but even his Aptfiles could not hear 
 them fometimes. I wwt againit thefe illegal Ceremonies in 
 the black No7i-C07?fo)(mijl Seven. Years ago : The Times would 
 not bear it, the Criminal would not hear ; Peppery "and Popifh- 
 like Ceremonies were rampant j Aly Soul did weep in fecret 
 for their Pride, they would not hear ; the Judgments of God 
 are beginning at thf Hoiife of God : I'll now try again 5 per» 
 haps they will now hear. 
 
 , But, may fome fay, Have a care 6( Scan damn magnatiim^, 
 have 3. care that your Book be not a Libel, and a Reflexion 
 (vjfibly apparent) againft great ^len • you might have whi- 
 fpered thefc things in private to them. 
 
 And have got a Box o'th' Ear for niy Pains (you mean) 
 by that ]:^rticular Application 3 whereas now none can be 
 o&rjded jiiiHy, ej^cept his guilty Cenfcience makes him con- 
 fefs that I have hit him home, and that he is the Man. 
 
 But clear Scriptures (may fotne ftill urge) fhall not ftand 
 for Law in the King's Bench 3 there you muft follow the 
 Courfe of the Court : Ay, aj, l.know it has been fo ; but I 
 hope t\iQ 1^1 e%v' Star 'Chamber -Court (at that End o{ the 
 Hall) will now follow the Fare oithat other Old StarCham- 
 'her Court y condemned (by 17 Car. |. 10.) at the other End 
 of Weflminfler- 'Hally . for introducing an arbitrary ^o-wer 
 npd Government (the very Words t)f the faid Statutej as an 
 ^moley-ahle "Burdeyt, 
 
 I w«ll remember, indeed, th'at Lord Keeper Norths tn 
 his Speech, when he introduced fhe ne-w Lord Chief jfuftice 
 (what fliall I c2l\U) Scrcggs (I think it ^^s) told him- how 
 eafijy he m^ght (notwithftanding the [aid Statute of Condcm- 
 fiation) refufcitate afid.reviv^ that old Star-Chamber, by a 
 JlefurreBion more glorious, more extenfhic^ in the King's- 
 Berich, m iti Ccgrfizance and JiirifdiBion,^ 
 ' \ He was too true a Prophet j witnefs jheif uncoufcionablej 
 UQchriftian, unfcriptural, and illegal (nec falvo tenemento) 
 Fines, without Bowels of Compaflion, making a Man an 
 Offevder for a Word 3 and then ruin an undo a Man and his 
 }^nfcy a Man and his Heritage, his Liberty, his Eflate^ his 
 
 » ' Honour, 
 
l^he IntrodiiUion. 
 
 Honour, and fome/imes his Life,: In fuch an arbitrary y va- 
 riou's, and difagreeing way to themfelves^ as well as to Law^, 
 that in the late fc:mous Trial t)f thQfevejz Sijhops^ the Bench 
 it lelf could not agrofi, ivhat ivas the Law o{ th^Xloxxn, 
 
 They all agreed that the Courfe of the Court, 'and the La-uj 
 of the.Court were fymonimom^ one and the fame Phrafe or 
 faraphrafe j but what was the Law or Courfe of the Court, 
 could not he decided : Judge againfh Judge, the Bench againft 
 the Bar • i^ttorney that was againit Attorney that is j Soli- 
 citor General that was againft him that is ; and the moft 
 killing Arguments were, y^rgmnefifa ad Hominem^ making 
 the {ame Tongue^ in this Trial, condemn, ^nd eat its own 
 Words in former Trials,* (viz. before they changed Places. 
 
 . At length, to end the Conteft, the wife Chief Juftice went 
 to Cotmcily and gravely asked the Advice of the^ Attorney 
 
 (Sir Sam ) but he was puzzled too,* and#was honplt^ffed 
 
 for the Cq;irfe or Law oi the Court, except for twelve 
 Years, good Gentlemen I only by hear- fay for fixty Years 
 more, as he was told by an old Stager that had been twice^ 
 a Child, and no Man living could remember that ever he was 
 a AIa72 (in the right Senfe) the Vacation I^twixt the two 
 Tmmsr(ofChiJdhood and 2)otage) was a /hort Vacation, if any 
 at all. 
 
 I frefumey fays one, \ frefiimS, fays another, I prefume 
 violently, fays a third 5 'n^y(\{ Prefume be the W'ord) then I 
 frefnme alfoy -that in i'o- prefnming againfi Mens Live« and 
 Liberies, they were too prefiimptuous. Therefore do not 
 you tell me of the Courfe of the Court of Kings-'Bejich ^ if 
 you know it, you know more than I know, or than the Judges 
 knew when the Courfe of the Court was arbitrary, and out of 
 Courfe. ^ , 
 
 But if it keep its due Courfe, and pretend to no difpenjing. 
 ^ower, fh abrogating the Laws of God, .and Chrifl:, and 
 right Reafon, I fear them not, for I hope in God that I iliall 
 never, by preaching "Triithy traftfgrefs j but a Truth may be 
 a Libel, as one of the Lawyers urged in the faid Trial. • 
 
 Yet the learned Gentleman (notwithftanding hi« Tie-Li- 
 ler fan^os) talked without Book, and againft Truth and Law, 
 iike an Oxford Apothecary : For Truth being an AttrihutCt 
 and properly TJivine (as Light is of the Sun, anS whence ra- 
 diantly and virtually all Light proceeds) can never be any Part 
 of the Conftitutfonof a Lihel-jDef amatory* And therefore 
 
 all 
 
vi ^he IntrodiiUion. 
 
 all the Statutes to which Scaitdaliim magnatiim has any Refe- 
 rence, whether that of 3 Edw* i. /\.. or thofe two of Ricb'ard 
 IT. Queen Jiiary, or Que^n ^lizahetl\ are only againlt 
 fuch as tell fa^fe Tales^ or falfe News, whereby D'lfcord ynay 
 arife, &c. 
 
 So that, in the firfl place, nothing can be a Libel but 
 what is falfe 5 and then it may be .falfe, and yet no Lihel^ 
 if it do not tend to 'Difcofd -^ and^confequently be malicious 
 or feditio'iis ^ as- to fay, a Nobleman is wet to the Skin, came 
 to his Country- Houfe, wore black Clothes, ^c. all which 
 maybe/^//^, andyet*no*Z/Z'^/. 
 
 To fay, a Judge or Juftice gives falfe Judgment, though 
 it be m/f, may be fo circumftantiatecl that it may be ji^Jlly 
 ftmifhahle^ as a Misbehaviour 5 but be /hall not fuflfer by 
 Law as a Libeller, if it be apparently true. 
 
 But the Leaned' Judge Sir jf. ^owel, then in the faid 
 Cafe, very honeftly and judicioufly afermed it for Law, that 
 a Libel mnfl be falfe ^ falfe Tales; it is 7iot elfe within the 
 Statutes on which Sca72dahim magjiamm is founded ; "and 
 ftill the Cottrfe of the Court varied ffom Law. Never was 
 the Punifhment#f a Libeller, or Honour-wounder, a pecu- 
 niary Mulft, but ("till Kin'g James \.) always the Body, by 
 Imprifonment, ^c. repaid and repaired wounded Honour^ 
 nay; by i 6c 2 ^hil, ^ Mar. 5. the greateft fcandalous 
 Words againft the Ki72g or ^leen were only punifhed by 
 Vodily ^iinifhmenty which a Man might ha^- bought off 
 (whether the King would or no) with 100/. (not ready Mo- 
 ney neither (the Bill was not drawA upon him, nor upon Sight 
 Ijereof^ but any time within a Month) fo tender were our 
 Anceftors of undoing Men for ill Words, even againft the 
 King ^ much more tender n(4t to undo a Man and his Houfe 
 for a frail Word againft a frail Subje^-, though a Lord. 
 Honour, if it be bafe and Dregs, is not Honour ^ jftd confe- 
 quently n6t wounded or hurt : But if it be true Honour, it 
 is like the beft Spirits, airy 3nd fpirituai^ it can neither be 
 hoiighi nor fold ■: Nor ever was it known in Biigland,^ that fo 
 much as Knighthood could be of fo bafe an Alloy, as that an 
 Ufurer (or Scrivener of 10/. fer Gent,) could purchafe jt, till 
 the ^ov&xVjo{ Scotland, coupled with an empty Exchequer, 
 and a King fiberal to Prodigality to his Countrymen, was 
 glad to make poor Shifts to earn a Penny : This for one, of* 
 making Honour fo mercenary^ that fome. Gentlemen fcorned 
 • .to 
 
"The InirodtiUion. vii 
 
 to be Knights; whilft another rich Dame would give looo /. 
 to be Lady-Baronet, that fo fhe mi^ht'tajce the Wall of her 
 . Grand-2)aw2f . But enough ^concerning Libels • you'll find 
 none here,^nor'any thing rtruck at but Sin and Folly ; and 
 neither of 'th'em arGjngredie72ts in the Conftitution of true 
 llonour j except Honour can be Midas' d^ as the Crclcfiafti- 
 cal Fellows do Sins, turn all they can touch to Gold, calling 
 it by a' Pf^or^ they borro^ved from Father Tetre and Rome^ 
 Commuting^ or Commutation of Penance ; a Word that buys 
 Perriwigs at T)oBors- Commons ^ as filly as it is. 
 
 And if any Expreflion of mine (in this Difcourfe) feefn too ' 
 airy fometimes For io grave and foleq;in a Subje£l, it is nei- 
 t\^QY forced nor ajfe6l^dy Nature will have its Courfe. 
 
 But it is eafie/,to pick a parrel fhan to end it 5 fo it is 
 eafier to find Fatdt tfcan fo mend it: And cannot a Man be 
 fiber GKCGipt he ho. fad '^. nor gral>e except he be dullt 
 
 Nor have I permitted one pf^rd to pafs with more Srisk- 
 72efs of Air or Style than juft what was neceflary to keep my 
 Reader.awa^£?; and is not it as pardonable (at leaft) as that 
 dull ^arentheji^h^j fome Preachers fo often inculcated ~— 
 C2)o not fie ep there) ^. 
 
 None tan expe£l: that^ my Style fhould be fmooth in the 
 fiiiewy and argumentativef Part^ it; is not to be done. * 
 
 But, be it as it may. if the Subje6l-matter be folid and 
 weighty,* let my Style fhift foi^it felf 5 I am .not fond on't 5, 
 yet, blunt as it is, I will neither change it with thee, dro'wzy 
 Mr, Tblegmatiok ! no? yet with thee, (that /It tejl frowning 
 and cenfliring there, I fee th^t) formal Mr* Hyfocoudriack i 
 
 J^^^ 
 
 ^^ 
 
 xilii 
 
 
 THE 
 
.THE ■ • 
 
 CHARACTER 
 
 • OF A. 
 
 Ceremony-MoDger. 
 
 * . C H A P.' I. 
 
 ' Concerning Bowing t&the Altar^ to the Eaft. 
 
 H E Cringes and Bowings o£ the ^apifls io 
 tjie Altar, *is in Adoration of their Wafer-God 
 th^t fits there (they think) enthroned ;• and is 
 (by the Homilies ot ihe Church of England) 
 . frequently ftyled Idolatry^ and the A<51 of a 
 FooL- • 
 
 But the Cringes and Bowings of my Ceremony- Moiiger to 
 thcy^/r^r, to the Eafl^ wfiere th^re is nothing (he muft con- 
 fefs, whatever he has fccretly^ put there) neither more nor 
 better than what is in the IVeft* in the ^elfrey, or the ^cdy 
 of the Church ; therefore fome call him a Fool • but (like 
 Merry- Andrehjo) thouglrhe %di like a Fool, he is more Ki\ave 
 than Fool 5 and though yny "Noddy pretends that he hods to 
 nothing, yet the ol^ 'Doiard does not play the Fool for no- 
 thing.3 but he is as well paid for playing the Cotccomh in his 
 
 filly 
 
Chap. I. Of towing to the Altar. 9 
 
 filly Superftition, as the hefl Merry Andrew of them all. 
 For it is well known what an Influence ^apifls had in the 
 three lail Reigns of Bifhop Land, the two Caflleynains, and 
 Father y^r^r , who not being able to bring in Popery, or a 
 Bifhop Ellis, into a Proteftant Church, and Proteftant Pre- 
 ferment, (the Laws excluding fuch 5) therefore they encou- 
 raged any filly Superftirion that was a ^lid pro ^no 3 and 
 as like Popi^ Idolatry, as I'lvins of the fame Womb. 
 
 Thus flittijig the Change upon us, and ei grofiing a great 
 many of the Protellant Preferments, Honours, and Privileges 
 to Fellows that were as like "Papifls, and our Chu.ches, and 
 Wor/hip, Adorations, and Ceremonies, as like 'PopipC^- 
 remofiies 3 and our Taul\, as like St. "Peters, as one Egg 
 UWk^ another, to fee to • though the Yolks within may, 
 perhaps, /how fome little DiRinaion 5 and a CerertioniouS 
 Jlrminian is no right-down 'Papifi, for if he fhould, he 
 could not be capable of his high S-at in a Proredant Church 3 
 and therefore he will rather confefs himfelf a Fool, in cnnge- 
 ing, like an Afs, to nothing, than be turned out of Church, 
 •and the Revenues thereof, by confefiTmg that he bows to 
 Things divine, tranfabf^antiated from a filly Vv afer ^ and, 
 rather than lofe his fifi 'Place in Church, or Senate, he 
 choofes rather to confefs thefoft Place in his Head, 
 
 But if you take him really for a Fool, you miilake him 
 vilely^ (as 1 faid before) this Ecciefiai^ical Moimteba72k is 
 inore Knave than-Foolj and bows for fomething • even when 
 he bows to nothing, he gets Money by't, he gets Money by 
 the Bargain • and though he fhake his Reverend Noddle, as 
 if it was empty, (by making Reverences to an empty Phcej 
 yet he knows why, and wherefore. 
 
 For though he feems to adore a Non-Entity, you are mi- 
 fiakcn in my Man, for he th.reby adores his chieieit God, 
 (Matmnoii) and his making fjoii/h Legs to the Altar, like 
 an Afs, was the ready Road to make Legs at Court, and be 
 an Ecclefiaftical y^puleian Golden Afs. 
 
 For as a Cofier-Mo^^ger gets his Living and Eftate (often 
 a great one) ' by vending "Trifles and Trinkets of hiS own 
 Purchafe, (as Pears, Plums, or Apples) to that Improve- 
 ment many Times, that he makes Money (even) of his 
 rotten Ware. 
 
 So a Cereraony- monger gets his Living and Eftate fa great 
 one oftentimes) by tn^livg Trinkets, and illegal (as weii as) 
 
 son- 
 
IS Of "Bowing to the Altar, Chap. I. 
 
 nonfenfical Ceremonies in Religion, (or rather hh o-wn Su- 
 ferftitioii) of his oivn Purchafe, or the Inventmi of his pri- 
 vate Noddle j to that Improvement many times, that he 
 grows great in the World, and in the Church 5 and makes 
 Money (even) of his rotten Ware, efpecially 171 had^imes. 
 
 Rifiim teneatis^. Jmici! Come, hold your Sides, and look 
 demurely if you can, (for your very Guts and Spleen) to fee 
 a grave Dignitory of the Church, with Tippet and Sattin 
 Cap, a gaudy Cope and Hood (before and behind) nodding 
 his Reverend Head, and making Revere72ces fo humble, 
 that his briftly Chin even kiiTes the Ground (no Antick 
 Frenchman^ or Father ^eter^ can out-vie the Compliment) 
 in an humble Addrefs to the Eaft, to the Altar • and where 
 there is either fomething or nothing more thanin the Belfry, 
 and in the Weft, Catechize my Don, (for he has been twice 
 a Child •) come ! Ask him, (I fay) Does his Ecclefiaftical 
 Donlhip bow and cringe fo fupplely (notwithftanding his 
 Age) to fomething, or to nothing ? 
 
 If he anfwers — ?o fomething ^ then take him Father 2)^- 
 da^ for he is thine, lift him in the Service and Devotion of 
 thy Wafer- God. 
 
 But if he reneages, (becaufe Papifts are not capable of a 
 Dignity in the Church of £'«g//T;;/^Jand is forced to anfwer, that 
 he bows to nothing ; then beg him for a Fool, and his richer 
 Dignities ; take him Merry- Andreiv^ for he is thine ; he 
 3s that ridiculous Stager that makes a Fool of himfelf, to 
 pick up the Pence j and no little neither ; For when Popery 
 will not, Cdnnot^ get up to the Top of the Steeple or Pinaclc 
 of the Temple, (where the Devil ftood tempting our bleifed 
 Saviour with the World and the Glory of it) my Ceremony- 
 monger being poflefs*d, runs mad to be there : Which lince 
 alJ the Avenues are ftopp'd againft Lord Sijhop Goddard^ 
 and hare- faced Topery^ my crafty Ceremony- monger claps 
 a Vizard over the ugly hare Face^ and pafles moft religioufly 
 for one of the Order, and reverendly, with a Mask, does his 
 Bufinef?, and perhaps gets a Mandate, — in a Mock- Election 
 of the Chaptery vvhich in their Prayers for divine Afliftance 
 in the Eledilon, no: only mock themfelveSy but, which is in- 
 finitely worfe, they mock the Almighty God too, when they 
 pray him to diredt them in the Choice of a Fit Man ^ when 
 he is chofen before to their Hands, and they reither can ivill 
 nor chtife* 
 
 If 
 
Chap. L Of lowing to the Altar, 1 1 
 
 If you do not yet know my Ceren^ony-mongef, Til tell 
 you his Name. 
 
 His Name is Legion^ for never was the Herd more nume- 
 rous, or more poflefs'd, fince the Devil enter'd into the Herd 
 of Swine, and made them run (like mad) violently down 
 Hill, though they are like to perifh in the Waters. 
 
 For this EccleJIaftical Hotfftir (though he) has but a mi- 
 nute ( foher) Share of Knowledge, yet he has Zeal like 
 Mead 5 and therefore never admits any heartily into his fpi- 
 ritucil Mu/ler- Roll, or Z//?, but blind Conformifts, that are 
 prefently tall FellowSy and preferred, if they can but readily 
 obey this one Word of Command 3 Straiten your Files, 
 Follow yo ur File ■ L eader. 
 
 Thus, like Horfes in a Team^ they all uniformly flod on 
 together, moft gravely and foberly, (with Nofe in his Lea- 
 ders Hind-partsj and Showel-HalterSy through thick and 
 thin, at all Adventures, minding nothing (theyy poor Hearts l) 
 but following the Fore* Horfe, though he go out of the way, 
 as irregularly and illegally, as irrationally, falling into a 
 Slough, but defperately bent, though not one,of them know 
 why, nor wherefore 5 nor dare fay, whethef ^Aey cringe and 
 bow to fbmething, or nothing : For they are forced to whifpec 
 when they fay, that they cringe to nothing, leaft the Papifts 
 (that prefer them) fhould hear, and then they're fure to get 
 ngthingy therefore are forced to fay nothing, yet nod to no- 
 thing. 
 
 If I were a 'Papift, qv Anthropo-Morphitey who believes 
 that God fits enthroned in the Eafl^ like a grave Old Ki^g^ 
 I profefs I would bow and cringe as well as any Eccle/iafticjl 
 Limber-ham o^ xh^m -^W '^ and pay my Adoration to that 
 0726 Toint of the Compafs, the Eaft • but if Men believe, 
 that the Holy One, that inhabits Eternity, is alfo Omniprc- 
 fentt and in every 'Place, why do they not make correfpon- 
 dent Ceremonies of Adoration to every ^oint of the Com- 
 pafs ? 
 
 But I recant my Folly for asking a Ceremony-Monger sn 
 honeft Realbn of his Cringes, who never (hitherto) could 
 vouch his Supple- ham Wor/liip to the Altar, to the Eaft, ^r. 
 except (asaforefaid) in Adoration of ^/^^wwo;;, his God. 
 
 But I'll be pofitive, and dogmatical in nothing of this Na- 
 ture 5 ril forf'A'ear nothing but building of Churches, after! 
 haye firft pull'd them down 5 as one did (a certain Chapel) 
 
 B 2 in 
 
12 Of "Bowing to the Altar. Chap. L 
 
 in t^.e Memory of Man, becaufe the Chancel Oooc^ Eafi a?id 
 hy K'^-e a litrle fideling, whereas it fhould have ftood better 
 du ' Eajl^ that (with one Cringe) he might bow to the 
 j\i;ar, and the Eaft alfo 5 he was the wifer, for fo he kill? 
 two Birds '-xirb one Stone t, and one flngle Bow (by this la- 
 borious Regulation) will ferve to the Altar, and ^he Eafl 
 alfo 5 '^o to cafe his unweildy Body, he punifhes his Purfe by 
 Ecclefi iHcal Policy, (called) Commutation : O the Wit of 
 an Ecvlell ftical Politician 1 But Fomtnafavet fat — Fortune 
 f:ivours/^r Folks ^ a poor Man might have been beggar'd by 
 fach a Veiiture ^ but the old Dotard (Mr. Superflitions Noddy 
 was his Name,) made Stairs of the Chapel Stones, and fo 
 got up to the Top of 'Paul's, But let the Ceremony-monger, 
 by his Foppery, grow never fo great, he is paid in his ow^t 
 Com 5 for, in Requital, his only Adorers are Women and 
 Fops ; or fuch as love any thing that is great, on'y hecaiffe it 
 is great : May ihey not, by the fame Reafon, adore an Afs's 
 He.d, with flapping Liiggs^ for they alfo are greats very 
 great. 
 
 Thus the l^^gen-Tiiitchman got Money, being carried 
 about from Fair to Fair^ amongll the Fops that admired his 
 Brawny Bulk, the Reiult of Bacon^ and the Gutter 'Box, 
 
 The greateft Ingenuity of my Ceremony-monger, is, that 
 of an Ape, {wz.^ Imitation, or Mimickry) for the Monkey 
 has indeed fomething of the Vifage and Reiemblance of a 
 Man, (and fo has the Ceremony-monger's Wor (hip the Face 
 of Religion and Devotion) but both of them wants Reafon^ 
 and therefore the 7nore ahominahley and of all Brutes, moft 
 odious to rational Men : 
 
 Simia quam flmilis (tttrpijjima Sejlia) nchs ? 
 
 Of Brutes, none areyo loathfome as the Ape, 
 Wanting Man*s Soul, he only has Man's Shape. 
 
 But fuch is the Force of Mimickry amongft Fops, that it 
 3s far more eafy to make a cringing dancing Afs, than a 
 dancina Horfe in our Academy 5 but the Mifchief is, there 
 is fo m ny of them, they are not a Rarce-Shoio 5 they are 
 fo common^ that it will not quit Coft to carry them about, and 
 ihow them at Sttirhrid^e-Pair^ or Bartholomew-Fair. 
 
 Come, 
 
2hap. I. Of Bowing to the Altar. 1 3 
 
 Come, Friends ! You fliall fee one of the Youngflers (the 
 Foal of a cringing AfsJ for nothing. 
 
 Come to your Poftures, Lad ! Hold up thy Head, and in 
 thy Chin, thy BieatI: out, and thy Belly m : ^ow^ your Re- 
 verevces -, — well done ; face about again, dcwn^ I fay, clofe 
 lown — to the Eaji, to the ,^ltar^ die. well done 3 there's 
 ^opes in thce^ thou may'tt come to be a tall Man in the 
 Church, in Time, if this Trade do but hold. 
 
 For my Ceremony- monger is an Ecclefiaftical T'homas 
 Jfjcllo^ (or corruptly and vuigirly) Mafanello^ a defpicable 
 Tool to look on, ti'.ke him out of his Robes, 2.^Jiily aFifher 
 as Heart can ■wiJJ'7 5 and yet he m^^y grow great by as trivial 
 Occafions, the fcrambiing for a little rotten Ware fNuts and 
 Apples) in Mtdpfmmer Moons, wien the People run mad, 
 and are opprcMVd. 
 
 But the worft is, this Beaft of the People is fbon abufed, 
 and foon uifabufed, and is feldom long and quieily (in En- 
 gland) beltrul (I will not ^ly Prieft- ridden) by Fops 5 they 
 are apt as fuddenly to play a Jade'^ Trick ; and after they 
 have Huzza'd loud Hofannas one Day, foon after ready 
 enough, upon a contrary Provocation, to cry, Crucifigite^ 
 Crttcifig'ite. 
 
 Yer the Fool Mafanello trufted to the unfteady Populace 
 (which made him infolent and infufFerable, proud and mo^ 
 rofe) till i\\^famc Mouths that cry'd him ?//^ foon a^^ter were 
 ready to eat him ^ dragging him at a Horfe's Tail, whom 
 ten Days before, they cry'd up to the Skies ^ they would 
 have done the fame to a Broom ftafF, if it could but have 
 flood them in flead, or could help to withftand the Gahells 
 and Oppreilinn 5 but the Fool thought that the People 
 adored his (own) Worth, which made the Fool infiijferahly 
 petulant^ and was his Ruin. 
 
 Yet (after all) noiv that I better bethink my felf, and that 
 feven Years ago (in my Black NGnc072formi [I ) I did (in vain) 
 wafh x\\\^Mthiope^ I'll even compound the Bulinefs with my 
 Ceremony-monger. • 
 
 And because he has been many times a topping Ecclefia- 
 ftical FelloWy proud and Stomach full, uncontroulable, and 
 it'itfid 'j right or wrong, he will have his Jf///, his Swing, 
 and his Way, (let who will Jland in his fVav j) therefore 
 iince he fays, He "Jtsill flill how like a Fop to nothing (for 
 he dare not fay the Wafer is there hid (flyly) under the 
 
 Carpet 
 
14 Of lowing to the Altar, Chap. L 
 
 Carpet^ nor yet that God is more there than every where 5 
 yetj ril grant him a Licenfe Ujpon two Conditions. 
 
 p/r/?, That he never fhake his empty Noddle at the Al- 
 tar, but when it is covered with a Cap^ (a Sattin Cap iq 
 chufe) the more decently to hide the fofr \Place in his Head. 
 
 Secondly, That alfo then he hide the ^opijh Face of Ado- 
 ration, by putting on a Trot(Jla?2t Vizor-Mafque^ not only 
 that his Blufhes be not vifible, (a brazen Face may do that) 
 but to cover the Popi(h Phyfiognomy, left the undifcerning 
 and fuperficial Judgments of the rude Vulgar, fpy ity and 
 nothing elfe 5 (for they fearch not the infide) and confe- 
 quently handle him, as if he really were a Popifh Prieft 5 
 his Cope^ his Hood^ his Surplice^ his cringing iPorJhipj his 
 j^ltar with Candles on it, (moft nonfenficaily tinlighted too) 
 his bagpipes or Organs^ and in fomc Places, Viols and Vto- 
 linSf fingjng Men, and/zftging SoySy &c. are all fo very like 
 Popery, (and all but the Feftments illegal) that I proteft, 
 when I came in 1660 firft from beyond Sea to ^aiirs, and 
 Whitehall, I could fcarce think rpy felf to be in Engla72dy 
 but in Spain or Portugal again, 1 faw fo little Difference, 
 but that their Service was in Latin, and ours in E72glijh 5 
 but lefs intelligible, and lefs edifyiiig 5 (for one half there- 
 of) then Latin^ by reafon of the Inarticulate Soatiis and 
 graying, whilft all the People read half the ^falms, with ^ 
 Koife as confufed as the rnmbli72g T'hiinder (as I will prove 
 more particularly by and by) that any Man in the World, 
 that had feen High Mafs beyond Sea, muft fay, That the 
 Contrivance of both was to keep People in Ignorance, the 
 Mother of devotion. Faith comes by Hearing, (faith the 
 Scripture) but the 'Papijl and Ceremony-monger, make as 
 though it comes by Seeing, they are all for a Show, a vain 
 Show. And fhail not thofe that /In before all, be rebuked 
 hefore alH That all may learn, and all may be comforted? 
 
 But may fome fay to me, perhaps, That I talk very bold- 
 ly • Whv, do I ? And do you think in your Cofifcience, that 
 they do not fin more boldly ? 
 
 There is a Jinful SafKfulnefs (in being loth to reprove) 
 as well as an impudent Sitnier, and a Whore's Forehead : 
 And fhall a brazen Ceremony monger dare to tranfgrefs the 
 Laws of God and Man, and right Reafon : And is there ;;of 
 a Man (amongft us all) that has Courage enough to attack 
 bim ? 
 
 Let 
 
Chap. I. Of "Bomng to the Altar. i f 
 
 Let him huff like a blafphemous Goliab, I fear him not ; 
 
 I were young and in my Prime) much lefs noWy when 
 
 re are fo few Sands in the Hour Glafs of my Life yet to 
 
 i outy by the Courfe of Nature 5 the greateli Wrath can 
 
 :ecipitate hut nfenv Mi?2mes ; dye we muft, and can ajiy 
 
 !^an die or fiiffer in a letter Quarrel, than in vindicating 
 
 ,he Laws of God and the King, in fpite of the Pope in Italy^ 
 
 Dr any other in his Likenefs, 
 
 CHAP. II. 
 
 Of ImpUcite Faith. 
 
 HAT Man has neither Worth nor Honour m 
 him, that does not truly love and honour a 'Fer- 
 fon of Honour^ and true Vertue and Worth 5 and 
 fo much the more, for the Grandeur 5 but to 
 idolize and adore a meer Image, becaufe a great 
 and golden Image, and becaufe ( Nebuchadjzezzar ) the 
 King fet it up. What is it but Popery, Idolatry, or Flattery, 
 or Foppery ? I know not how to abfolve the Princes, in 
 ^an. \\i. 5. the Governors, the Judges, the Treafurers, the 
 CounfcUors, (wife Fellows !) and the Sheriffs, when they 
 adored the Golden Image, which Nebuchadnezzar the King 
 had fet up 'y though, I confefs, being fixty Cubits high, as 
 high as the Top of the Steeple, it made a great Fignre in 
 the World. 
 
 And what can my Ceremony-monger fay more for him- 
 felf, rhan that great and golden Image ? Both of them have 
 a great Face and Bulk, but want Realon for thdr fianding, 
 and are dumb and blind. 
 
 For my Ceremony monger in the Church (I am in good 
 earne/iy and in fober Sadnef», telling a woful Trurh, which 
 has almoft ruin'd our Church) does aimoft alt his great AEls 
 in the Church (like the Papif^s) by blind 'Dsvot ion andim- 
 f licit Faith* 
 
 Is there any to be admitted into the facred Fur^tion of 
 Priefthood \ (who ought to be a^t and fit for fo Great, fo 
 
 Holy, 
 
t6 Of ImpUcite Faith. Chap. 11. 
 
 Holy, arid fo Divine an Office ^ otherwife, the Contempt of 
 the Clergy, and a contemptible Ciergy, is the ncce^ffary and 
 fad Confeqtieuce) yet this is huridlcd up by implicite Faith in 
 Mr. Archdeacon, or feme eafy Deputy, or Surrogate : The 
 Bifhop that Ordains is not obliged to know any thing of the^ 
 Matter, but goes upon Trtijl for all, in that great Work of 
 Ordination, as you may fee in the Words of Ordination, in 
 the Commo7i-'Prayer-Sook 5 all is done (I faid before) l^y 
 Implicite Faith, as the Papifts call it 5 but this more filly 
 than Popery 5 for it is more rational to believe as Church be- 
 lieves, than to believe as a filly Surrogate believes. 
 
 Is there a Man to be thro-~jvn out of the Church ? This is 
 ^one by Implicite Faith too, in an eafy Surrogate, and Sell- 
 Soul Regijler, that, perhaps, has not paid the lail Payment 
 for his Place, and Money muft be had 5 whereas, the Bifhop 
 t\\2it Jtg7zifies it, knows nothing of the Matter, nor ot the 
 Proceedings, or Proofs ^ hut hy ImpUcite Faith in the Regi- 
 fter's Certificavit, as aforefaid 3 and then the Judges grant 
 a Capias by Implicite Faith too in his Hand, that knows no- 
 thing of the Matter, (neither) of his own Knowledge. 
 
 Is not here fine Doings the while, in the greateft of 
 Church Works ? The out and in, the in and our, is all hy 
 an Implicite Faith, more irrational than that of Papifis. 
 
 Nay, the poor 'Parfon of the Parifh mufi neither will nor 
 rZ70o(^,*but mutt, in fain of the Lanv, Exconnminicate, and 
 deliVer to Satan, any Body, that the Regii^er's Hand and 
 Seal marks out with an A?iarhema, by meer Implicite Faith 
 5n q>ope- fell- Soul (the Regifter). So when the Devil and 
 the Taylor has worried him, and tortured him (as they do 
 fufpeaed Witches) ('till they confefs) and he be wilHng to 
 fay or do any thing, to get out of the Tormentor's Clutches, 
 and the excommunicared Perfon humbfe e-'ough to open his 
 Purfe to Mr. Regifler, poor Parfon muft <'biblve him again, 
 ly the old and Imt)Ucite Faith in the Regiller. 
 
 In Confirmation tqo, all is done by Implicite Faith m the 
 
 Parifli-Prieft ; nay, ufually, not fo well, but Hand over Head, 
 
 to all that kneels for it, rboagh fume of them, to my K'^ow- 
 
 ledge, were never Baptized, nor can yet f y the Creed lo 
 
 well as it is pofiible to teach a Parrot ; nor undcrilanding 
 
 Qne Article thereof much better than a Parrot. Here is fiie 
 
 fDoings ' And a rare ContVirution to fight ^or, Tooth and 
 
 Naii, Swear and Forf^^ar, hy a blind 'UevOtion, and Imph- 
 • /•It* 
 
 cite 
 
Chap. IL Of Implicit e Faith. I'f 
 
 cite Faith, and fcarce a Man knows therefore ; But no 
 Kettles make fo great a Sound and Noife, as thofe that are 
 empty. 
 
 But when Men go out of God's Way, the further and 
 fafler they go, the further and fafter they go ajlray. 
 ■ The very Difciples of Chrift fas well d.s'PopjjJo "Priefls and 
 Cardinals) fell to jfiiftling one another (even in the Prefence^ 
 for the Place, the chief and tippermofl • but our Lord told 
 them, they behaved themfelves more like worldly Princes 
 than his Difciples ; faying, It jloall not he fo amongfi you. 
 
 Pride fays. It floall he fo 5 but will my Ceremony-monger, 
 on his Death-hed^ and at the tremendous Judgment- Seat ^ 
 fay fo^ as he does no-w 5 in fpight of Chrifi and his Word ? 
 I am your hiimhle Servant^ fays the Pope 5 nay, your Ser* 
 vants Servant, Servus Scrvoruni^ yet Lucifer himfelf is not 
 prouder. 
 
 ^ear brother ^ fays a Popifh Bifhop, in his Styk to the 
 reft of the Presbyters, when at the fame Time he makes no 
 more of them than a meer lavement ^ in State to walk upon 
 and trample ; Money too^ the pooreft Prieft muft give his 
 Highnefs'^ though the Family at home want Bread: Nay, 
 the poor Sheep muft not bleat neither, but though clipc 
 fui^ice a Tear, like Sheep before Sheerers, they muji he 
 dumh • fo open they not the Mouth 3 yet I told the Out- 
 landifh Bi/hops, feven Years ago, of this unconfcionabie 
 Avarice, to as little Purpofe, in my Naked I'ruth, faying, 
 I have read, that Tharaoh's Lean JE^ne eat up the ivf^ones, 
 but for the Fat to eat up the Lean ^ *tis mod unconfcionabie 5 
 have a care of "Bare hones^ left they ftick in your Throat, or 
 in your—Wh'A\i fhall I call thee ?)^ Ecclejiaftical Greedy gut I 
 You'll never leave your Gormandizing, 'till you furfcit, I 
 fear. 
 
 This is the true Reafon of Implicite Faith in Italy^ and 
 England 'j Biftiops gape at more than they can fwallow ; in 
 Tpite of that terrible Thunder — T'teV 'Blood -joill I require 
 at the IVatchmaji's Hand — They take a Charge upon them, 
 that noFiefh alive czn dif charge -^ Bifhops and Curares (lays 
 the Common-Prayer) implying, that we of the fmall Fry, are 
 enly Journeymeny or Curates to the Biihop , well, nxith all 
 my Hearty the greater Charge lies heavy on his Soul. 
 
 No, (he may fay) though 1 cannot be here and there too^ 
 yet I h^vs Journeymen every 'uohere 5 I muft, hy Imflicite 
 
 C Faithy 
 
i^ Of Imp //cite Faith, Chap. If. 
 
 Faith, believe my Journeyman, my Profior, my Surrogate, 
 and my Regifter 5 but in Requital, they alfo l;y Imfiicite 
 Faithy believe me. 
 
 Is not here rare Doings ? And all this Inconvenience came 
 at firft only by Avarice and Ambition, which a whole Dia- 
 cefs, and fometimes a Deanery, and a rich Commendam ad- 
 ded thereunto, could not glut , well, that's as to the Wages, 
 if they were twice as big, one Man can make a /hift to fwal- 
 Jow, yea, but as for the Work, it is impoffible to fuperin- 
 tcnd, or Epifcopize, with one pair of Eyes ; then came 
 ffirft) into the Church, Imfiicite Faith in their Journey-men, 
 and of all Journey-men, chiefly, the. j^rch-2Jeacons c^Wtd 
 Ociili Efifcoporitm 5 there are but five Pair of fuch great 
 Implicite Eyes in ourDiocefs ; and if they could fee without 
 Spef^acles, they would be the better Eyes, I think : But the 
 Proipe£t is too far, all over the 2)ioceJs for one Bifliop to'fee 
 or fuperintend ; but who made that Profpe£l To large ? ^a- 
 raccia, a Pari/h, by our ancient Canons, llgnifies a 2)ioceJs, 
 and a Diocefs was no larger than a Parifh, 'till Popifh Ava- 
 rice, and boundlefs Ambition taught Pluralities. 
 
 A good Bifhop fif he keep in his Bounds) as the Kivgs 
 Commijfiover (not fancying that he has, or can have any Neiv 
 Spiritual Character, or greater Spiritual Chara^>er than of 
 a Presbyter, as appears by the Words of Ordination (of both 
 of them) thefamey the very fame, in all FJJential Points ; 
 only the King's Mandate, or CommifTion, gives him an Ec- 
 clcjlafiical Charafler rmjre than he had, and a Temporal 
 CharaEier, by making him a "Baron of the Realm, with 
 Lands and Honours annex'd ; and not one Jot too much, if 
 he make good Ufe thereof, in Hofpitality, Charity, andfome- 
 what too ai an Umbrage again fl Contempt ; the Wages are 
 well enough beiiow'd, if he be fit for the Place, pious, pru- 
 dent, and learned j and he has as lawful a Claim and Title 
 to them, from his Predeceffors, as other Lords or Corpora- 
 tions j and cannot, without great Injuftice, (as well as dange- 
 rous Precedent) be bereaved of them • Who, but a Fool, 
 will go about to remove Groundfclls, and fundamental Con- 
 ftitutions ? 
 
 But hii Work is fo great, and the necefTary Qualifications 
 fo Eminent and Extraordinary, that 770 one Man is fit for fo 
 great a Charge 3 and thofe that are fitteft, will fcarcely ac- 
 cept 
 
Chap. II. Of Implicit e Faith. ig 
 
 cept it, the Temporal Honours and Rewards are no Tempta- 
 tion to them. 
 
 For a Bifhop ought not to Ordain any, 'till he has firft hy 
 his O'Wn Examination and Knowledge^ found their Fitneifs 
 for fo great and holy a Work : ]<Jot trufting by Implicite 
 Faith to Mr. Archdeacon, nor Mr. 'Deacon i 7)eputy, 
 
 And how can he luith afafe CofifciencCy deliver a Soul to 
 the Devil by an Anathema, when he kfio'ws nothiJig of the 
 Nature of the Crime nor ^r^ofl except by hlind iJevotion^ 
 or Implicite Faith in the Regiiler and Surrogate, Mr. Ne- 
 cejjity ? cfo Men call him) hecatife he has no Law, 
 
 So that the grand Diftempers of our Church, do all pro- 
 ceed from this Original Sin^ radical in our Conftitution ; 
 and no Art of Man can cure it, or [avc us from a conteynptihle 
 Clergy, and more defpicahle (as well as prophane) Tiifcipline^ 
 but by applying Remedies to the very Coiifiitiition^ which is 
 neither incurable, nor hard to cure, if wife and willing Phy- 
 ficians do but ufe their Skill. 
 
 . When Soy-^opeSy and Soy-^ifljops^ or ignorant and un- 
 learned !BiJhopSy by Favour, Money, or Friends, were ad- 
 vanced j they neither durft attempt to examine a Scholar's 
 Fitnefs for the holy Fun<5tion, nor could do ity without be- 
 traying their own Unfitnefs and Ignorance ; which begot 
 Archdeacons, they ferved for Eyes to the Blind, and at ge- 
 neral Councils, ufually for Mouths and Tongue^ and "Brains 
 too. The Dotage of Bifhop Alexander^ brought Archdeacon 
 AthanafiiLS into the iirft Council of ITice^ which brought 
 him \nto^ Reqiiefi, and when the old Man died, into the^/- 
 JJooprick (^allbj oi Alexandria. 
 
 But above all the Implicite i^n/VZ?-^!/^?;;, ("I ever rcadj have 
 my Commendations remember'd to the Pope, in the Words 
 of Cardinal SellarminCy lib. 4. de Romano (Pontificey cap. 5. 
 Si papa erraret prdecipiendo vitia^ vcl prohihendo virtiiteSy 
 teneretur Ecclefia credere vitia e//e bona, ^ virtiites ynalas^ 
 nifi vellet contra Confcientiam peccare : If the Pope err 
 (that's a *Biill too^ good Cardinal, as ivife as you are) by 
 commanding Vice, and prohibiting Virtue, yet the Church 
 is bound to believe, that Vice is good, and Virtue evil 3 ex- 
 cept the Church fin wilfully, and againft Confciencc. 
 
 Even fo 5 if a Bifhop, by implicite Faith and Err or y Or- 
 dain a vicious, or ignorant Perfon, a Prieft, or Bifhop, and 
 Madam Tortfmouthy or Father Teter^ help him to a 'Pre- 
 
 C i fcntation^ 
 
20 Of ImpUcite Faith. Chap, II, 
 
 fentation^ or Mandate, (every thing may be done that has 
 been done) or fhould filettcc a vertuous Preacher, yet the 
 Parifh or Diocefe wzw/^, (I iay,) miift accept him for their 
 fpiritual Shepherd, Guide, and Watchman • though he be 
 never fo blind a Guide, never fo lijolfijlo, or cruel a Shep- 
 loerd 5 never fo dull and drorjczy a Watchman, or Readings 
 Don, or Copy-holding Plagiary - except they will be wilful 
 Sinners 5 though he ftar'vc their Souls, they muft feed hirti 
 with the 'Tythe-jheaf, and the "Tythe-pig, 
 
 He's not fit to be caWd to the Sar, that can h\xt j 11 fi read 
 his Breviar, though he tell the Judge he has notable Books 
 in his Study, that argue the Cafe, and flate it notably 5 but 
 be carries them not about, never in his Head. 
 
 Nor is^e fit to be a Fellow in the College of Phyficians, 
 becaufe Galen and Hypocratei lies moulding in his Study $ 
 nor is he fit to be free of the Pulpit, that if his Sermon- 
 Book fall down out of his Hand, muft alfo come down as 
 Knife (a Man) as when he went up j let the Curtain fall 
 down too, and the Play's at an End ^ good Night, ^arfon. 
 
 But all Preachers have not Memory, nor Elocution, and 
 Prefence of Mind : No, no • but then, there'sagood Thrafh- 
 er, or a good Cobler fpoil'd, to make a bad Parfon, a poor 
 Tranfcriber, and duii Tranflator 5 whofe Ghara<^er next 
 follows. 
 
 CHAP. III. 
 
 Of the Reading-Dons of the Tulpit. 
 
 HIS Ecclefiaftical Sophifter, is a true Son of 
 the Church of England, (that ever was) and 
 devoted to her Service, (as in Duty bound,) 
 for file gave him freely all the Devotion he 
 has, namely, the Common-prayer-Book, and 
 the Homilies 5 which are very good Things to 
 all, but to him a God, (a Creator) by which, as a Church- 
 man, (though as lean and cadaverous as a Church-Moufe,) 
 he lives, and moves, and has his Being. 
 
 But, 
 
Chap. II. Of theReadkg-^ons oftheTulpit. 21 
 
 But, as true a Son of the Church as he is, yet he is a Ba- 
 {lard- Divine, but made a Denizon Ecclefiattick, and free of 
 the Church by the King, and (noiwithllanding his fpurious 
 Original} Legitimated, and made capable of Succeflion in 
 Church-Lands, Honours, and Dignities, by Ad: of Parlia- 
 mcnr, viz. the Ad of Uniformity in England • in England^ 
 (I fay,) for in the whole Proteftant World, that Ad has no 
 Parallel, nor this Fellow (I charaderize) any Fellow in the 
 whole Chriftian World, but fuch as himfelf 5 he is a None- 
 fuch all the World over, in all Churches, except what he 
 calls, fand he may well fpeak well of her^ the moft incom- 
 parable Church of England 5 not only the Proteftants all the 
 World over, but the very Papifts, nay, the very Stage-Players 
 would kick him out, the very Boys and Wenches there ; nay, 
 School-Boys muft fay their Parts better, or they are fure to 
 be whip'd for*t. 
 
 Nay, the Stage-Pkyers would have no Cuftomers (except 
 they could get Penal Laws, and a Conttable, a Jaylor, and 
 Apparitor, to drive them by Shoals to the Play Houfe) if 
 they Hiould admit any fuch dull Tools and Adors, that could 
 not fay a Word without Book j but muft read every Word 
 they fay, or elfe they are dumb : For, take away the Play- 
 Book, or Notes, and they are mute as a Fifh 5 the PJay is 
 at an End, though you have paid your Money : Some fmall 
 Note indeed, or Prompter, the beft may need fometimes, 
 or fome Breviate : Hven fo my Reading- Don- Eccleliaftical 
 is a Notelefs Fellow without his Notes, and worle than an 
 Afs, (for he can bray without Book,) nay, worfe than a 
 Peacock, for he can yawl againft Rain 5 but this ^ay Fowl 
 has nothing that fpeaks him divine, but his gay Out-fide. 
 
 The Prophet Ezekicl calls him 'Diimh \Dog^ that cannot 
 bark 3 meaning not that thefe dumb Prophets, or dumb 
 Dogs, had no Tongue, and could make no barking Noife ; 
 but, when he feeth the Sword, or a Thief coming, hegiveth 
 no Warning, but being fenfelefs and notelefs, is therefore a 
 dumb Dog. 
 
 For he, poor Heart ! has his LeiTon before him, there is 
 his Stint, like a Horfe in a Mill ^ he cannot go out of the 
 Track, if he does, he muft leave work : If the Notes drop 
 out of the Pulpit, or the Candles go out, or the Spedacjei5 
 fall from his Nofe, or a dark Day, or any fuch woful Dif- 
 after b^fal him, his Bufinefs is done, he needs no Bifhop to 
 
 filence 
 
22 0/ the Keading'T)ons of the Tnlpit. Chap. III. 
 
 filence him : Come, Sir, you may (even) come down, out 
 of the Pulpir, the Play is done. 
 
 Nay, his very Prayers to Ahnighty God in the Pulpit, he 
 js glad to read them too, except, perhaps, he has (like a 
 Parrot) got a few Words by rote, which all the People of 
 the Cliurch can fay as well as himfelf ; for, like a Turn-fpit 
 Dog in a Wheel, he keeps ado, but makes no Progref^. 
 
 For (alas ! for Shame and Sorrow !) how fhould he fpeak 
 to God, who is a Spirit, from his Heart or Spirit ^ or to the 
 People's Hearts, that never had any Divinity in his Head or 
 Heart ? It is fufficient that he has it in the Book of Homi- 
 lies, 6r in his Notes (ftylo novo) of another Sermon-book, 
 that is more in Vogue and Die, becaufe more adapted to 
 our prefent Language and Age. 
 
 Stole! faid I, he'll bring his A£lion againft me, of Scan- 
 daliim magtiatum^ perhaps; but I'll prevent him, for I re- 
 cant. 
 
 He did not ftcal his Sermon, nor Sermon Notes, for they 
 were his own, upon a double Account ^ Firft, becaufe he 
 lawfully bought and paid for them. Sixpence a-piece ; wit- 
 nefs the Bookfeller : Secondly, becaufe all the Sermons in 
 Print are dedicated to him ^ ^I'o the Reader^ — — All — 1*0 
 the Reader^ and fometimes, (to coaks him out of Sixpence) 
 To the cotirteoiis Reader, 
 
 If Parents have a Ricketty Son, and crook'd-legg'd, he*ll 
 ferve to mike a Parfon, his CafTock will hide his Legs : Is 
 the poor Child pur blind alfo ? He'll ferve to make a Par- 
 fon, (fay his Parents) if he have but Eye enough to fpy Ad- 
 vent Sunday^ the Day of the Month, and the firtt and le- 
 cond Leffons for the Day. Is he a half-witted Lad ? He'll 
 ferve, (poor Child) fay his Parents, well enough for the Pul- 
 pit, if he do but hold his Notes to his pur-blind Eyes, it is 
 but holding them the clofer, and the Bufinefs is done 5 efpe- 
 cially if his Parents or Friends fcrapc Acquaintance with a 
 Patron, (I know how) or buy an Advowfon. 
 
 And then make room for the Parfon, a true Son of the 
 Church : Why do you fmile ? It is too ferious, too great, and 
 too difmal a Truth, to draw Tears from your Eyes by laugh- 
 ing 5 you have more Caufe to be weeping Jcrcm'ies^ and 
 tiiike Lamentations at fo mifchievous a Conftitution of a 
 Church, in making Watchmen that are blind, and lame 5 
 being Ordain'd into Holy Ordcics by blind implicite Faith ^ 
 
 whicla 
 
Chap. III. Of theReading-T)ons of theTtilpit. 33 
 
 which we all condemn in the Papifts, but in the Church of 
 England draw a new Scene, and it is received with Applaufe : 
 Oh poor Evgliflo ! A foolifli People, and unwife, though 
 the mott courageable and befl: Hearts, as well as the moil 
 plain hearted Nation under Heaven. 
 
 You think (now) that this is a Romance, and not literally 
 true ; well then, fo let it go ^ 'tis fo much the fitter for his 
 Charadler of a Ceremony monger, which is all a Romance. 
 
 A Romance ! What's that ? It comes from Rojna^ Rome, 
 the Ground and Platform of the trueft and beft Hiftories of 
 Truth 'y and the Scene of the greateil A^s the Sun everfaw. 
 
 And a Romance is as like a true Roman Hiftory, as my 
 Ceremony-monger is like a Papift • he is not a Papift, (he 
 fays,) no, he is not a bare-faced Papift, Til do him right ; 
 but he is as like a Papifl, and his Devotion as like Popery 
 as ever it can look ; He does not fay the Mafs indeed in La- 
 tin, but hi^s Hood, his Cope, his Surplice, his Rocket, bis 
 Altar rail'd in, his Candles, and Cufliions, and Book there- 
 on, his bowing to it, his bowing (or rather nodding) at the 
 Name yefUy his Organs, his Violins, his Singing-Men, his 
 Singing-Boys, with their alternate Jabbering and Mouthings, 
 (as unintelligible as Latin Service,) and fo very like Popery, 
 that I profefs, (when I came from beyond Sea, about the 
 Year i66c, to ^atifs and Whitehall) I almoft thought (at 
 firft Blufh) that I was (dill) in Spain or Portugal 3 only 
 the Candles on our Altars (moft nonfenfically) Hand un- 
 lighted, to fignify, What ? The Darknefs of our Noddles, 
 or to tempt the Chandler.^ to turn (downright) Papifts, as 
 the more fuitable Religion for their Trade 5 for ours mocks 
 them, feeds them with Hopes only 5 he gapes and flares to 
 fee the lucky Minute when the Candles fhould be lighted, 
 but he is cheated, for they do not burn out in an Age. 
 
 But the Foppery is Homogeneal, all of a Piece, foolifii 
 and illegal Ceremonies all over ^ only my Ceremony monger 
 has got Law of his Side for his Surplice, and his Common- 
 Prayers, which are both very good Things : And though, 
 perhaps, he may be perfwaded to part with the former, if 
 you take away the latter, viz. the Common Prayer-Bcok, 
 ye had as good cut out his Tongue 3 nay, even fow up his 
 Mouth alfo, for he has no Occafion for it, nor for his Teeth 
 neither, for his Body muft ftarve, and be as lean and je- 
 june as his Soul : Therefore, as you love his Life and Soul, 
 
 let 
 
24 Of theReading-1)ons of theTtilpit. Chap. III. 
 
 let him have his Common -Prayer- Book, or cjfe his Curate 
 will have nothing in the V/orid to do, but muft be forced to 
 turn Sexton ^ Why fliould not the Dead bury the Dead ? 
 The dead in Sin, bury the Dead for Sin ; to io iifelefs and 
 fpiritlefs a Thing is Religion reduced by my Ceremony- 
 monger j nay, fome of them in their pretended Prayer be- 
 fore Sermon, do mock both God and the People, praying, 
 or pretending to pray as the Mouth of the People in the Pul- 
 pit, and yet, (like good Hannah\ private Prayer) their 
 Lips only move, but their Voice is not heard. 
 
 Old Heli thought the good Woman was drunk, or a Fool, 
 to talk to herfelf ^ but fhe defign'd only private Prayer. 
 
 But certainly this Matter of the Ceremonies, is either a 
 Fop, or a Mad-man, or elfe takes all the People for Fops 
 of his own making, to have only a handfome Gaze at the 
 Parfon, whilft he adts his Mummery in the Pulpit. 
 
 Why does the Pulpit ftand aloft ? But that the Preacher 
 fliould lift his Voice like a Trumpet, that all the Church 
 may hear, or elfe, What does he do there ? The Papifts in- 
 deed do vindicate Piclures in Churches, as being the Lay- 
 Man's Hiftory, though he know not a Letter in the Book, 
 his Eyes may read by feeing a Pifture ; and thus my Cere- 
 mony-monger brings up his Fops in Ignorance, and ignorant 
 Devotion 5 they know nothing of the Matter, and cannot fay 
 j4men to they know not what, it's no matter for that, for 
 (juft like Popifh Mafs, called Secreta^ which the Prieil 
 mumbles to himfelf, fo) our foppifh Ceremony-monger, 
 that muft be like a Popi/h Prieft, (or elfe, perhaps, he had 
 never come to fo high a Pulpit and Place in the Church) he 
 muft mumble too his Prayers (though in Pulpit) to himfelf, 
 becaufe 'tis juft as the Popifli Priefts do, (that make) as if 
 the People need not pray, nor believe 5 the Prieft prays for 
 them, and believes tor them • keep them blind, fays the 
 Prieft, and then you may lead them by the Nofe, whieh 
 Way you pleafe : Oh poor Evgliflo Fops ! more hypocritical 
 Knave than a Fool. 
 
 And 1 am the more apt to believe it now, becaufe the 
 mumbling Hypocrites never mumbled {o much and fo long 
 in the Pulpit- Prayer before Sermon, as now-a-days in this 
 Juncture and Revolution in the Kingdom, and Change ia 
 
 the Throne. 
 
 Aod 
 
Chap. III. Of the Reading-Dons of theTulpit. 2$ 
 
 And to pray for their facred Majefties, our Sovereign Lord 
 and Lady, ¥,.\nglViUiam and Queen Afan\ they are fuch 
 Strangers to this, that he chufes rather not to pray at al), in 
 his own Prayer before Sermon • or nor at all to be hearci, 
 till fuch Time, as it may be gueis'd, he had done it to him- 
 felf, talking fas they fay Witches do) to himfelf in the Pul- 
 pit ; molt prophanely mocking God and the People, by pre- 
 tending to fpeak, when he only mumbles with his Lips • for 
 if his Voice be heard, the crafty Hypocrite thinks that 
 fome Body will tell (becaafe his Tongue tells) \,Vho he is for : 
 Whereas now the Fox lies learirig and lurching, to lee whicH 
 King will get the better, and then (and not till then) hi^ 
 will declare himfelf • and in the Interim, this Ambo-c^exteC 
 referves himfelf; for he is true to no Intereft, nor to any Re- 
 ligion, but that which moft tends to the Advancement of 
 his only God, M.immo.-!^ and his Curate only runs theRifcjue, 
 in praying for King iViiliamy and Queen Mary. 
 
 In morr, ffor 1 am quire tired and fick of him) hi? 
 Church- Work is juft like his Church-Clock, moved extrane- 
 oufly by outward Weights, Wheels, Springs, or Plurhmet^, 
 but has no inward or fpiritual Life or Motion ; fuch is his 
 Prayers, fuch his Sermons, (though he have a Budget- full j 
 dead, dull, fpiritlefs, lifelefs Devotion ; he never converts 
 any Man, except to filly Ceremonies, becaufe himfelf is noc 
 converted to any thing elfe 5 his Words die b'efore they reach 
 the Heart of his Hearers: For how can they well come to 
 the Heart of his Auditors> when they never canie in, nor 
 from his own Head nor Heart ; he is the great S^ock-Logg 
 of the Church, that has neither Fire nor Heat within, thti 
 little he has is all outfide, fuperficial, and without : It takes 
 up a great deal of Rome indeed, but 'tis good for nothing 
 in the World, but the Dunghil ; he is that Salt that has quit© 
 loft its Savour, if ever he had any, and good for nothing 
 but to be trodden under Foot of Men -^ and relilli'd by non<? 
 but fuch as have loft their Tafte, or never had any. 
 
 ril tell you how you miy be quit of this Ecclefiaftick 
 Copyholder ; all his Tenure and Title to the PijJpit is Copy- 
 hold, get but his Notes or his Copies from him, and the 
 Pulpit will not hold him, he muft come down and hire a 
 Journeyman of more Skill, if any Lich can be had for Mo- 
 ney, fo to debafe himfeif to be Surrogate 10 a rich Fop, 
 ihat with hisfilk Caflfock and fcarlct Flood, runs away with 
 
 D the 
 
i6 OftheReadhig-'Donsofthe'PuIpit. Chap. III. 
 
 tV»e Gains, whilft poor Thread-bare Crape takes ail the 
 Pains. 
 
 "Yet, even thefe are fcarce to be hacT, for Love or Money ; 
 for the Ceremony- monger has fo polluted the Fountains of 
 Learning, the Univerfities, thar where fhall a Man fooner 
 meet with noify Impudence, and gingling Nonfenfe, (a 
 founding Brafs, and tinklinc^ Cymbal) then in the two great 
 St. Maries Pulpits in the Univerfities? 
 
 So that if God be. not the more merciful, and their facred 
 Majeflies the more careful of their Academies, the Gene- 
 rality of the Cleroy mufi: be like the Scribes and Pharifees, 
 (in our Saviour's Time) painted Sepulchres, gay without, 
 fine Ornaments without, but within, nothing but Rottennefs 
 and dead Men's Bones. 
 
 Juli as we were in the Church o^ Erigland^ (I remember) 
 £fry Years ago, in the Reign of that great Mafter of Cere- 
 monies, little Doctor Z^w//, that did fodifcountenance lively 
 and edifying Sermons, or almoil any Sermons 5 that a Man 
 muft have travelfd for it, and far too, if he heard any thing 
 but the Common-Prayer and Organs, above four Times in 
 a Year. Indeed, now there is fo many Sermons in print, 
 that we have plenty in the Pulpit, though generally fuch dif- 
 crepant, heterogeneous, and im methodical Staff, at being, 
 comrofed of feveral printed Sermons, a Patch here, and a 
 Patch there defcribed, that they are like a Beggar's Coar, 
 or a Taylor's Cloak- bag, made up of party-coloured Lifts 
 and Parches ^ they are fo difcompofcd by the Plagiary, in 
 wifelPrudence, like a Thief, that takes by-Roads, for fear 
 of being known, purfued, found out, and taken by the Hue- 
 and-Cry. 
 
 Therefore, this Plagiary-Reader, confcious of Guilt, dif- 
 guifes all Difcovery, if pofTible, like the crafty Hare, that 
 makes falfe Steps and Doubles in the Snow, when/he is near 
 her Form, for fear of being track'd by her Steps, and traced. 
 
 Thus this chattering Jay has nothing good about him, but 
 the gay Feathers j his Carcafs is worth nothing, but to dung 
 the Land 5 fo that the Church, you fee, can breed Vermin, 
 •-^s well as the Barn, 
 
 CHAP, 
 
Ch^p. IV. 
 
 27 
 
 CHAP. IV. 
 
 Of Reading the Vfalms^ Tc Deiim, AthanafiusV 
 Creed^ &c. altervately, ez'ery other Verfe^ by the 
 'People. 
 
 HIS is fuch another nonfenfical Ceremony, that 
 it is Point blank againlt Holy Scripture, as well 
 as again!!: Reaibn and Edification 5 and neither 
 Canon of the Church, nor Rubrick, or Rule in 
 the Conimon-Prayer-Eook, to vouch it, and pu- 
 ni/hable therefore, by the A61 of Uniformity. 
 If fo, then where is the Brains (you'll fay) of all our 
 Ceremony mongers ? Where do you fay ? They are there 
 ^here they always were, but never confulted in any of thefe 
 illegal and ilUy Ceremonies ; further then. Whether are 
 they like-Popifh Ceremonies ? That's the Teft, that's the 
 Teftimonial that firil gave them Entrance into a Proteftant 
 Church • and the Papifts finely laugh at us, and deride us, 
 for being their Apes 5 (as I have heard the Popifa Friars 
 beyond Sea jear at us for the Mimickry) grave EnglijJj 
 Noddles, that have no other Reafon, nor Religion, for what 
 they do, but that they are the Pope's Baboons, in fpite of 
 Hoiy Scripture, right Reafon, true Religioij, and the Laws 
 of the Kingdom. 
 
 The next Step may be, (if this be fuffered,) that the 
 People /hall read one Half of the Chapters too ; and then, 
 though the Vulgar cannot be kept altogether fiom hearing 
 the Scripture, they /liall be debarr'd one half: In Time, 
 we may go further, we are jull in the Popifh Road, that 
 debars the Vulgar from the whole Scriptures. 
 
 Read but the i Cor, 14.. 11. 25, 25, 91, 99. For, (fairh 
 St. ^aiil) in rhar, i Cor. 14. ir. Jf I kiiO'-w not the Mca??- 
 ing of the Foicey I Jh-ali he unto bird that fpeaketb a Sar- 
 i/.tnan, and he that fpeaketb, (I.t^U h€. a Sarharian unto me. 
 Here is a plaiitScripture againrt this conftiFcd Koife, no 
 Man can know the Meaning of a Voice that is not articulate 5 
 
 D 2 But 
 
58 Oj Reading the Tfalms, &c. Chap. IV. 
 
 But what cares a Ceremony- monger for Scripture ? Give 
 him his God, give him his Afammojiy give him his popifh 
 Mimickry 3 but whilft he makes himfelf a popifh Ape, he 
 makes ouli £?;g!i//:>me72 both Apes and Afles. 
 
 All the Reafbn that ever any of rhem can give for this 
 profane Foliy, is, That the Singing Boys do it, and the 
 great Pleads do it, and therefore, the fil!y People, like the 
 Papifb, fay, Mull not we believe and practice as the Church 
 believes and practices? Meaning by the Church, the Clergy, 
 the rich, the great, and the gay Clergy. 
 
 We talk of hating Popery in Jtaly^ we do well f but nor a 
 Jot better for us, if we follow the fame implicite Faith in 
 JE'f!glciT2d^ that the Italians do in Rome* 
 
 Thus tha Prophers prophecy falfely, and the Priefts bear 
 Rule by their Means. 
 
 Let all^thmgs he done to edifying^ (^ faith the Apoftiej . 
 and ye miy all prophecy, (or read,) for if Reading be not 
 preaching or prophccying, we have abundance of dumb 
 Frophets, ("if it be fiot a Bull) \n .E>'glai?d^ i Cor. 14. 31. 
 Te may all prophecy (read or preach) one hy one^ that all 
 7nay learn ^ and all may he comforted 3 implying evidently, 
 that there can be no Learning, no Comforr, .no Edification, 
 in -bur confufed and babbling Superftition j which is jutt like 
 the Gofllps Chat, where all Tongues wag, and all are Preach- 
 ers, and no Hearers. 
 
 Since therefore, God is not the Author of this Confufion, 
 ncirher Law, Canon, Edification, Rubrick, Reafbn, A(5l of 
 UniformJtN', Religion, nor Scripture, to vouch it, but point 
 blank againft all theie, tell me how it came here • except 
 from the Devil and the Pope. Short Ejaculations, as yjyneny 
 Lord have Mercy ^ or repeating after the articulate Voice of 
 the Minifter, falls not under this Cenfure. 
 
 But, 1 wonder who taught the Women (^whofe chiefeft 
 B :auty is modefl SilcnccJ who taught them to prate in the 
 Church ? They are fo full of Tongue, you'll fay, that per- 
 liapa a lia]c Teaching would ferve. 
 
 I never fuflfcred fuch a confufed Babbling in my Church of 
 Jill- Saints -^ let them play the Fools, and popifh A pifhnels, 
 fomcwhcre elfc, I never would permit them ; at which a- 
 bundance of People took Snuff, and becaufe they might not 
 befuperltitiouo Apes, they would not come there at all • A 
 
 good 
 
Chap. IV. Of Reading the 9falms, &c. 29 
 
 good Riddance of them 5 they left the Room to their Bet- 
 tecs, for we want nothing there fo much as Room. 
 
 Is there not feme Fear lell we all be begg'd ? BeggM ? For 
 what? For wife Men ? No ; but to replenifh the College of 
 Gotham 5 we are topping Fellows, if the Pinnacles ot the 
 Temple (land in View , Which is the Way thither? 
 
 Are we not all as filly as that Cardinal, who fays, Sit er- 
 go 1)011117211$ 72oJlcr 'Papa haculus in aqiiafraBus^ ahfit tamen 
 nt crederon quod inderim : Let our Lord the Pope be a 
 Staff (partly in the Water) feeming crooked 3 yet, God for- 
 bid that 1 fhould believe mine own Eyes: Like Cardinal 
 Scltarmi??ey who makes Ignorance (not Underftanding) the 
 Ground of Faith : Intending furely, that none but Coxcombs 
 (Prieft-ridden) fliould be of the Church. 
 
 This Cerernony-monger carries one infallible Mark about 
 hit?) ; you may know him from a Thouland, for he fets fiich 
 a Value and Price upon his illegal Trinkets and Ceremonies^ 
 that if you take them, or offer to take them from him, he 
 cries out, and roars like mad Micah ^ Te have taken a\vay 
 my Gods which I made^ and the Triejl, and ye are gone 
 a-ixay^ and what have I more ? j^nd what is this that ye 
 fay tmto me^ What aileth thee ? Would it not make a Man 
 bellow and cry, to lofe the ^Diana\^ by which he got his 
 Wealth, and on which he chiefly values himfelf, becaufe it 
 made him a Man of Value ? And thofe are his Favourites, 
 on whom he puts the greateft Value, that trinket after him, 
 in a blind, implicite, Ilavifli Mimickry, and Imitation : Ho 
 that calls for a Reafon, he is not a Man for his Turn, but 
 fawcy, troublefome, and petulant. Thus the Blind lead the 
 Blind : Have a care of the Ditch there, juft before you 5 
 you had better take Warning than tumble in. 
 
 But, I fear, iapidi loquor, I wafh a Black- moor (I doubt) - 
 yet, I know no Harm i do, (if I do him no Good ;) if the 
 Leopard will keep his Spots, I did not make them 5 he is 
 Sf^/(3J?2 mad furely, Why doft thou firike fo furioufly ■! 
 would but unfhackie thee, and fet thee free 5 or make thee 
 fet thy felf free, by reprefenting thy felf to thy felf 
 
 For I'll affure thee, that in City and Country, fgood Ma- 
 iler of the Ceremonies \) thou halt not amongft rational 
 Men more Beholders than Abhorrers. 
 
 He is the faireft Candidate for a Reward, that cringes, 
 comes over, and bends the moil nimbly 3 but that Men by 
 
 illegal 
 
3Q Of Pleading the Tfalms, &c. Chap. IV. 
 
 illegal and irraticnal Capricio's fhould cherifh their Hopes 
 (fo) to become Favourites in the Church, I do not under- 
 iknd it. 
 
 1 can only fay, as Cicero^ in his Declamation againft Ca- 
 taVine^ Vroiim ? inio viviint ^ hifenatnyn veji'iiint ^ Oh tem- 
 poral Oh moral It was a fad Time, when Father ^f/^r, 
 or Madam ^ortfimuth chofe Senators 5 and that a poor 
 Lad fhould find it out, that the readieft Road to get into 
 ^ the Church, or to the Steeple, and Pinacles, is to be like a 
 young Setting Dog, that firil learns to fioop (when he is 
 bidden) to nothing : There's Hopes of him, he's coming 
 on, and may be a right Setting Dog in Time, and ftoop to 
 fomething. 
 
 CHAP. V. 
 
 Of ^BcJcing at the Name oj Jefu. 
 
 HFR E is but one of thefefaid irregular and ille- 
 gal and irrational Ceremonies aforementioned, 
 that have any Colour of Law, and that is the Ca- 
 non for bowing at the Name Jefu ; but that Canon 
 is nail'd by Scripture and Reafcn, as well as by the 
 Act of Uniformity, which enadls great Penalties, even De- 
 privation, if any Ceremony- monger obftinately perfift in the 
 Pradlice of any Ceremonies, except thofe alone that are 
 contained in the Cor^mon Prayer-Book^ of which that fame 
 of bowing at the Name jfofJ:)uay or jfdfu 5 and ail their other 
 Eowings and Cringes to the Altar, to the Eafl-, are none at 
 all. I proteR, I wonder at the Ceremony-monger's Audau- 
 •city and Fool-hardincfs, that he ftili dare to do it, in Defiance 
 of the Law, Reafon, and Scripture • except he think to fet 
 the Convocation Houfe over and above, and on the Top of 
 the Parliament- Houfe, where it will ftand moif totteringly, 
 and fubje^l to the Storms. 
 
 Let no Man therefore think this Difcburfe to be bold, or 
 over bold, (having the Law of God and Man, Holy Scrip- 
 ture, 
 
Chaf^. V. Of "Bomiig at the Name cf Jefu. 3 5 
 
 ture, and right Reafon on my Side, and can therefore with 
 fuch great Advantages baffle them all) wonder rather at my 
 incorrigible Ceremony-monger, that will take no Warning 
 'till he be forced publickly to recant the Schifms and Mil- 
 chiefs his Noddle has forged in thp Church of God. 
 
 The Strength cf his Main -Guards (like that of Hell and 
 Popery) lies all in flopping the feveral Avenues of Light, 
 that none may enter into the Kingdom of Darknefs, for they 
 hate the Light, becaufe their Deeds are evil, and therefore 
 would (if they could) keep the Keys of the Prefs- Doors, as 
 well as the Pulpit-Doors, that no Glimmering may appear 
 without Licenfe. Thus the Devil rages the more, becaufe 
 his Time is fhort, and frets and fumes when you difcover 
 his cloven Foot, efpecially when he has Jong been adored 
 fof which he is moil: ambitious) as an Angel of Light : 
 But, bleffed be God, that is above the Devil ; Truth and 
 Light are his glorious Attributes, as Error and Darknefs are 
 the Properties of Hell. 
 
 And if the Devil were not great in Men, they would fub- 
 mit to Law and Reafcn, to God and his holy Writ, to ,the 
 Laws of the Land, Equity and Confcience. 
 
 When iick Men are deadly Tick, and their whole Confli- 
 tution fo diftemper'd, and out of Frame, that the very noble 
 Parts are fenfelefs, flupid, and paft feeling, *tis high Time 
 to toll the Eell for them, they have not long to live. 
 
 Come, then, give Glory to God, confefs and recant pub- 
 lickly in th.e Church, where thy Nonfenfe was committed, and 
 defy the Devil and all his Works, the Pomps and Vanities of 
 this wicked Vv^'orld. Oh ! but may fome fay. It cannot be 
 deny'd but that your Ceremony-monger is the Fop of all 
 Pops, for bowing to the Altar, to the Eaft • but have a care 
 of condemning him when he bows at the Name of ^efu ; 
 for Holy Scripture, the Canon, and right Reafon, (all three) 
 are his Vouchers. 
 
 Poor Hearts ! And (as Solomon fays) Te Fools! nvhen will 
 ye he 'wife ? Have I not wafli'd thele Bkckamores (and to 
 as little Purpofe) long ago ? For Firft, That Text in ^hi^ 
 lippians the fecond, jithe Name of Jefu every Knee Jh all 
 lo^j.\ 'whether in fleaveji or Earth, ^c. is no Precept, bu? 
 a Prophecy, That the Time ihali come, (it is not yet come) 
 that the Name of Jef/n fliall be exalted above every Name. 
 
 Tbac 
 
3 2 Of lowing at the Kcime of Jefu. Ch^p. V, 
 
 That Time is not yet come ; for Jews, Turks, Atheills 
 and Devils, do not own the Name of ifcfui above every 
 Name, whether in Heaven or Earth, {ot Hell) or Things 
 under the Earth ; but it fhall come (at leail) at the Day of 
 Judgment, and probably before. 
 
 Mahomet pretending to have Faith to remove Mountains, 
 told the People, (his Followers and Muffelmenj that he 
 would make that great Mountain (that ftood before him) to 
 come to him at his third Call, and therefore mofi gravely 
 admonifli'd it to come, once, twice, thrice, but no Mountain 
 would come ^ whereupon (without changing Countenance) 
 he faid, Jf the Hill iviU not come to Mahomet, Mahomet 
 JJjall go to the HiH ; and fo march'd *till they met. 
 
 For by that Holv Scripture, cv li'cuctrt I???;. In the Name, 
 Tj: meant, in the Virtue and Power of jfcfiis^ every Knee 
 JJiall hozi\ &LC, (As, ^/"he Name of the. Lord is a Jlrong 
 'Tower, the Righteous /hall run into it, and are fafe, Prov. 
 18. 10. Not the Letters or Sound of Jehovah, not the Te- 
 tragrammaton, but the Power of God, is the Tower, not 
 the four Letters, or Sound of the Name, whither the 
 Righteous run, and are fafe.) 
 
 JBefides, my Ceremony monger does not bow at the Name 
 of Jofloiia, which is the very Word, jfefit, in all Languages : 
 Ks Mat, r. z\. Thou Jl^alt call hn Name ]Q\io{)[\\i2i, Jofhua, 
 or Jefu, all one Hehre'v Word. 
 
 Befides, that Holy Text doth not fay, in the Name, Jo. 
 Jhtia, but in the Navrx of Jcftniay I'tcra ^ U^w . but my Ce- 
 remony-monger does not bow at the proper Name of our 
 Jefiiy or Jofhua^ to wit, Emanuel, (or God ivith 71 s, which 
 Signifies both his Divinity and Humanity,) nor at the Sound , 
 of the Word Cbrijl, Mejjiah, ^c. but Hands as unconcerned, 
 and as ftiffas a Srake. 
 
 Befides, he does not bow the Kriee, but (like the Papiffs) 
 nods his Head, or puts off his Cap, or Hat, as the Popifh 
 Jefuits do, (when they preach) every Time they mention 
 the Word Jefii, if they do not forger, which they commonly 
 do J and as commonly fin, if that Foppery be a Duty. 
 
 Eefides, that Text fays, Every Knee P:)all bo-zv in Heaven, 
 avd Earth, and under the Earth : But there are no Knees 
 in Heaven, and thofe in Graves, in the Earth, an.i undes^ 
 the Earth, are too ftiff to bow : Come, 'tis Nonfenfe, and 
 ridiculous all over, and as very a Specimea of my Fop, as any 
 other. Lo 
 
Ghap. V. Of "Bowing at the Name of Jefn. 33 
 
 Do we well to blame the Ariajis for placing the Father 
 above the Son ? Do we well to believe the Unity and Equa- 
 lity of the Holy Trinity? And yet do we bow at the Name 
 of the fecond, and not at the Name of the iirft and third 
 Perfon of the Holy Trinity. 
 
 Nay, is Chritt divided ? Do we pay more Reverence to 
 the Name Jofhua (the Name of my Foot-Boy) then to the 
 Holy Name o{ jfefii^ namely, MeJ/taby Chrift^ or Ernajiiiel^ 
 For fhathe 1 do not pretend a Reafon for fuch foppi/h Ado- 
 ration. 
 
 And, if neither Holy Writ, nor right SLeafon, be of thy 
 SiBe ,(Mr. Ceremony-monger,) thy Canon will be nail'd by 
 the Statutes, the A^s of Uniformity, that makes it very 
 penal, even Deprivation (no lefs) for thee to follow thy 
 Trade of making Ceremonies which God never made, nor 
 the King and Parliament, or right Reafon ever made. 
 
 Befides, there are feveral Statutes of Prbvifbrs, and then he 
 incurs alfo a Premunire, to fet up the Mitre above the 
 Crown^ the Bi/hop and Prieft above the King, and the 
 Convocation- Houfe above Weflnmiflcr HalL 
 
 And this fawcy and Prieflly Petulancy (derived from 
 Rome) makes my Ceremony-monger manyt Times very 
 troublefome to the State, and to the Crown 5 which he will 
 obey (hkQ T'homas-a-Secket with a falvo hd?wre iDeiy that 
 is) many Times, as far as he lift, and when he lift 5 or in 
 any Thing that is for his own Ends, and his own Honour, 
 not a Jot further : Of which I /hall give no late Inftances 
 here, of thofe that could ftrain at a Gnat, (when againft 
 their Intereft, though for, and not againft God's Glory) and 
 yet could fwailow a Camel, (if fent from the Court) if ic 
 would but advance their Dominion and Sway • or at leafi 
 not hinder it ; witnefs their publi/hing in Churches, the 
 Sports that may be ufed on the Lord's Day, ^c. When 
 this Spirit poffefTes trjy Ceremony -monger, he is not only 
 troublefome, bur dangerous, and infafferable. 
 
 But they that keep the Keys, and can open the Church 
 Doors, to let His Majefty in, can alio, (whilit we have the 
 keeping of the Keys) upon Difpleafure, lock him out : 
 Well, for this very Trick, and foi another late Scotch Trick j 
 if I were a Privy- Gounfellor, I would advife His Majefty, 
 as Head of the Church, and the Governor thereof, to keep 
 the Keys of the Church in his Pocket, or hang them under 
 
 E his 
 
3 4 Of "Bowing at the Name of Jefu. Chap. V, 
 
 his GirdJe ; if it be but becaufe this preiatical Champion, 
 this fame pitiful Archdeacon, like another Pope, or St. ^e- 
 ter,^ will keep the Keys of the Church, and will keep his 
 jVIajelly from them, and would fain perfwade him, that our 
 La,vvs exclude this purely fpiritual Power of the Keys from 
 the Supremacy of our Kings, except it be to fee that fpiri^ 
 tual Men do their Dufy therein. Belike, this fame Arch^ 
 deacon carries the Leges Jiiglice, the Laws of England in 
 his Belly and greedy Gut 5 for I am fure he carries them 
 there, or no where 5 he carries not thefe bulky Laws of 
 England in his Brains 5 he has no Guts in his Brains. For, 
 T pray, good D. D. where does our Laws exclude this pure- 
 ly fpiritual Power of the Keys from the Supremacy of our 
 K.ings, if our Kings, (like good King ^avid, or wife King 
 Solomon) fhould have a Mind to be Eccleliaftes. 
 
 In the Days (even) of Popery, I never heard of a King 
 fhut out even from the Topping-Pulpit, if he had a Mind 
 to climb fo high. Stout King Henry the Third made bold 
 to invade the Pulpit, took his Text, ^fal. 85. 10. Righte- 
 oufnefs and 'Peace have h/Ted each other 5 and then in his 
 Sermon, ad Cleriim — to the learned Monks of the Cathe- 
 dral Church of PFincbefler, when he had a little Self-End 
 too (as fome Pulpiteers have alfo had) in the Cafe, namely, 
 to cajole the faid Monks to elect his Brother (Athelmar) 
 Bifhop of IVincheJler -^ paraphrafing and enlarging upon his 
 Text, and faying, (to ufe his own Words) " To me, and 
 " other Kings, who are to govern the People, belongs the 
 " Rigour of Judgment and Juflice 5 to you, who are Men 
 ** of Religion, Peace and Tranquility : And this Day (I 
 *•■ hear) you have, for your own Good, been favourable to 
 *' my Requeft: " With many fuch like Words. I do not 
 linow whether the, King had got a Licenfe to preach — from 
 a Bifhop. It feems, the Clergy (then too) would favour 
 Kings, in what was for their own Good ; and, if it were for 
 their own Good, would alfo permit the King to take a Text,- 
 and preach in their Cathedral Church. How hard-hearted, 
 or llrait laced foever our Archdeacon proves, and will not 
 fuffcr our Kings to have the Keys, neither of the Church 
 nor Pulpit 5 I fay, therefore, fome Kings would therefore, 
 keep the Keys of the Church themfelves, and truft never a 
 D. D. of them all with them 5 no, not the Pope himfelf. 
 
 Bur 
 
Chap. V. Of lowing at the Name of Jefu. 3 5 
 
 But what if I prove that our Kings at their Coronations, 
 have at the lame Time been ordain'd Clergymen, they are 
 no more excluded (then) by our Laws from the Power oT 
 the Keys. < 
 
 What is Ordination, but the ordering, defigning, or fetting 
 a Man apart to fome Office ? If to the Miniftry, then there 
 are certain fignificant Words to that Pnrpofe ^ and what 
 more {ignificant Words for Ordination to the Priefthood, or 
 making a Man a Clergyman, than thofe the Birtiop ufes to 
 our Kings, namely, with Un^lion, Anthems, Prayers, and 
 Impofirion of Hands, (as is ufual in the Ordination of Priefls) 
 with the fame Hymn, — Come Holy Ghofh^ Eternal Gody Sec- 
 The Bi/hop faying alfo, amongft other Things, Let him oh- 
 tain Favour of the ^People ^ like Aaron in the T'aher^iacle, 
 Elifha in the Waters^ Zacharias in the temple -^ give him 
 Peter'5 Key of 'Difcipliney and PauPi iDoElrine, 
 
 Which laft Claufe was pretermitted (in Times of Popery) 
 from the Coronation of Henry VI. 'till Charles I. and Charles 
 II. left it fhould imply the Kin^ to be more a Clergyman, 
 and Ecclefiaftical Perfon, than thefe Archdeacons could af- 
 ford him ; but our gracious King Charles II. and his Father, 
 at their Coronations, had the ancient Forms of Crowning 
 Kings revived 5 and in the Anointing, the Bifhop faid, Lcn 
 thofe Hands be Anointed with Holy Oil, as Kings and Pro- 
 phets have been anointed, and as Samuel, ^c. 
 
 Then the Archbifliop and Dean of V/eflminficr put the 
 Coif on the King's Head, then put upon his Body the Sur> 
 plice, faying this Prayer • O God, the King of Kings, and 
 Lord of Lords^ &ic. 
 
 And furely, (of old) the very Pope himfelf look'd upon 
 our Anointed Kings as Clergymen, elfe why did the Pope 
 make Henry il. his Legate 'De Latere here in England^ 
 the ufual Office of the Archbi/liop of Canterbury, (ufually 
 ftiled) Legati Nati ? 
 
 Therefore, Mr. Archdeacon, you talk like an unthinking 
 Black- Coat, llock'd with a little fuperficial Learning, when 
 you fay, our Laws exclude the King from the Keys of the 
 Church, to which he has as good Right as yourD. D. Divi- 
 nity fhi p. 
 
 And (indeed) to give the Man his Due, he is glad (after- 
 wards) to confefs, that Cofzjiantine, and the eminent Chri- 
 fti-in Emperors, called Councils, and approved their Canons. 
 
 E z Then, 
 
36 Of lowing at the Name of ]efu. Chap. V. 
 
 Then, by your Leave, dear D. D. they alfo, for the fame 
 Reafon, might, upon Occafion, and if they had feen Caufe, 
 alfo difprove the fame ^ Who then was Tapa of old ? ^a ter 
 ^Pa-trum ? Surely, no other but he that i$ PaTa^ (I mean) 
 ^Pa-ter^iX'tri<0, 
 
 All the Male-Adminiftrations in Ecclefiaftical Govern- 
 ment, take their Rife and Original from our Ignorance of 
 the Power of the Keys ; or who are the Clavigers, Key- 
 keepers, or Porters, to let Men in, and turn them out of 
 the Church- ? 
 
 TJie bulky Clergyman call'd a Bifhop, an Ordinary, or a 
 Diocefan, he (we fay) keeps the Church Keys, he excom- 
 municates and excludes Sinners out of the Church, and he 
 alone receives them, and lets them in : (But that's falfe, the 
 liieaking Regifter, and Surrogate, do that Job.^ 
 
 Ay, But who entrufted a Bifliop alone to be the Church- 
 Porter, Door-keeper, or Church key keeper? Vi'here is his 
 Commiflion ? Where is his Authority ? And who gave him 
 this Authority ? • 
 
 For it is evident in Holy Scripture, that Gcd never gave 
 him any fuch Commiflion, Place, OiHce, or Authority, ro 
 keep the Keys of the Church, any niore than the Speaker 
 of the Houfe of Commons, or Chairman to a Committee, 
 has Power to turn out of the Houfe, or let in any of his 
 Fellow Members ; For neither does a Birtiop differ from 
 snother Presbyter, inore than the Chairman irom the reft 
 of the Committee ^ or he that gives the Rule of the Court 
 at Seflions, differ from the reft of his Brethren and Fellovv- 
 Jufticcs • he is no better Man, nor the more learned, wife, 
 nor more honeft a Man, though he be Ordain'd to be the 
 Mouth of them, (that's all) to fpeak what they put into his 
 Mouth. The Speaker takes too inuch upon him, to fpeak 
 the Senfe of the Houfe, 'till the Majority of Votes has given 
 him Inftructions and Commiflion to pronounce a Sentence, 
 or the Senfe of t'-»e Houfe 5 or to turn any Member out of 
 the Houfe of Com; ons : He has no fuch Authority 5 he is 
 the Speaker (indeed/ ind is look'd upon as the wifeft and 
 fitteft Man for that Place fit flould be fo, it is not always fo) 
 One or other of the McniL ;rs muft be chofen Speaker, or 
 Chairman, and have Prececi.ncy, for Order-fake, and to 
 avoid Confufion 5 but he no oil.erwife differs from other 
 Member?, except only, that the Honourable Speaker is the 
 
 Honou- 
 
Chap. V. Of lowing at the Name of Jefu. j 7 
 
 Honourable Mouth, that's all, after the Members have 
 chofen and ordain'd him, and the King hasconfirm'd him: 
 Even fo, a Bifhop has no new Character confirmed upon hini 
 more than when he was but a Presbyter, or Elder, fave only 
 the King's Ordination, or Mandate, or Conge d'EUre, (The 
 Eleftion of the Dean and Chapter is a meer Mockery, as 
 aforefaid, befides the playing with Edge- Tools, and mock- 
 ing of God.) Bifhops and Presbyters ufed to be chofen, juft 
 as Parliament-Men are chofen, by rhe Majority of the Votes of 
 khe People, (as fliall be more particularly proved in theCon- 
 clufion, in the Chapters concerning Bifhops and Ordination.) 
 Thus ^atU and jSarnal^as were chofen and ordain'd by the 
 whole Church 5 j^6is 13. 3. Perhaps the chief Church- 
 Members laid their Hands upon, or ordain'd the Miniftcrs, 
 Miflioners, or Meffengers of the Church, but the worft Mem- 
 ber had as much Power and Virtue to ordain a MefTenger, 
 Elder, or Bifhop, as the beft Bifhop or Presbyter, if the 
 Majority of Votes had ordain'd and fo appointed 5 as is 
 clear from Scripture, and the Practice of the Primitive 
 Church, and fhall be more particularly infixed upon in the 
 Conclulion in the Chapter of Ordination. 
 
 Ordination ? What is it more than chufing, approving or 
 fetting a Man apart for an Office, to do Bufinefs relating to 
 this Life, or a better ? (I will not fay) in Church or State, 
 or as a Clergyman, or Lay- man 5 for thefe are idle, un- 
 grounded, vain and odious Names of Diftin6lion, where 
 God and Holy Scripture never made any fuch Diftin6lion 5 
 and has not only confounded our Notions of Things, but has 
 been, and yet is the Caufe of moft of our Confufions, in 
 (what Men mifchievouily diftingui/h and call) Church and 
 State j which are not two Things, nor two diftindt Bodies: 
 If you make them fo, you muft make two Kings, and two 
 diftin(5t Heads to thefe two diftin^t Bodies, and that is one 
 too much. 
 
 And if you make a Clergyman and a Lay-man, two di- 
 flindt forts of Perfcns, you make a Man that God never 
 made : And, if fc ! Then Clergyman ! (I muft Catechize 
 you, J Who made you fo ? God ? It is falfe ; for God, in 
 Holy Scripture, does not call the Preachers, but the Hear- 
 ers 5 not the Bi/hops, Presbyters, and Minifters, the Clergy, 
 but the Hearers and Flock are God's Clergy 3 i ^et, 5. i, 2, 
 3. Tl^e 'Preihyters ixhich are araengft jou^ I exlport^ ivho 
 
 am 
 
38 Of Sowing at the Name of Jclii. Chap. V, 
 
 flm aljo a ^reshyter^ or Elder, or EarJ, or Alderman, or 
 Grand Seignior ; no greater Name can well be given. St. 
 ^Pcter was a Presbyter j Can there be a greater Dilciple of 
 Chriji^. And the Presbyters, to whom he presch'd, and 
 were under him, are the fame with Bifhops ; and thofe Pref- 
 byters alfo, to whom St, ^aiil preach'd at Ephefns^ and are 
 called Presbyters in one Verfe, are called Bifhops in another ; 
 and their Auditors, or Flock, are called ("the Clergy, or) 
 God's Heritage, i "Tet. 5. 3. 
 
 How came Caflbck-men, and Lawn-fieeved Men, ffirft) 
 to make an Impropriation of this Word f Clergy, or God's 
 Heritage^ to themfeives forfooth ? 
 
 I'll tell you : Firtt, it is clear, that in aJl the Holy Scrip- 
 tures, this Word (^Clergy, or God's Heritage^ is never men- 
 tioned, except in this Place, i ^ct. 5. 3. 
 
 Secondly^ It is as clear that the Word Clergy, or God's 
 JLot, belongs as much, at leaft, to the Lalry, fas they call 
 them in Scorn,y if not more, than to Presbyters, or Bi /hops, 
 or Paftors ; who by another proud Word too call themfeives 
 Divines, for Diftin^lion-fake from the Flock- juft as they 
 have robb'd the Laity of their good Name Clergy, which 
 by God was given to the Laity, in Holy Writ. 
 
 'J'birdly^ When the Pope and Bifhops made Encroach- 
 ments and Ufurpations upon the Princes and Emperors, 
 taking their Dominions into the Church, and St. Teter's Pa- 
 trimony ; then the Pope and Bifhops, feeling their own 
 Strength, that they had Strength enough of themfeives (zs 
 a dirtin6l Body) to go alone 5 then they (^t up for themfeives, 
 and made a new and diftin6t Corporation in the World, 
 called, "The Church, The Clergy, The Lords Spiritual ^ 
 which is (a Title absolutely, and by Name) forbidden as a 
 prophane Name, i ^ct. 5. 5. And alfo in the very next 
 Words in the fame Verfe, they are forbid to rob the People 
 of the good Name (of Clergy, or God's Heritage,) becaufe 
 God gave the Flock that Name, and IPeter charged the Bi- 
 fhops, (as our Saviour did before) that they fhould not be 
 Lords, nor domineer, nor exercife Lordfhip, as the Princes 
 of the Gentiles do: For there was no fuch Diftin6tion, nor 
 prophane Names of Diflindlion, as Clergy and Laity, Spi- 
 ritual and Temporal Lords 5 there was but one fort of Cler- 
 gy, the Flock 5 and but one fort of Lords, (Temporal) the 
 Princes, or Temporal Lords : For it is a Jefuiticai Tener, 
 
 Cwhich 
 
Chap. V. Of "Bowing at the Name of Jcfu. 39 
 
 (which we practice, and an old popifh Tenet and Error) in 
 makini^ Dominion to be founded in Grace • or to talk of Spi- 
 ritual Lordfliip, qnatenuSy Spiritual Men, or Apoillesj for 
 it is tot'idcm verbis^ and by Name forbidden the Apoftles. 
 
 I grant, that a more honourable OiHce, or Officer, cannot 
 be fn Nature, than a good Presbyter, or Bifhop ^ nor can 
 that Holy and Spiritual Office be more debauch'd and pio- 
 phan'd, than by making Steps of Divinity, to mount over 
 all Humanity: This is to rencounter and ruffle the whole 
 Courfe of Nature, and make Heaven a Pair of Stairs : (Whi- 
 ther go you fo fail:?j To Hell, to Hell, and the Devil, by 
 the Pomps and Vanities of this wicked World ? (Contrary 
 to that (pretended) Vow in Baptifm 5 of which a Bifhop 
 (one would think) fhould make a Confcience) 
 
 Thou that fayeft, a Man Ihould not fteal, (faith ^azU) 
 Doft thou fteal and filch Men's good Names, that God hath 
 given them, (the Clergy, the Church) and appropriates 
 them to thy felf, and thy Coat ? Fie, for /hame ! this is a 
 proud and covetous Encroachment, (taking in the Common 
 by wicked Inclofuies :) Forfake the Devil and the Pope, the 
 Pomps and Vanities of this wicked World. In the Conclu- 
 fion, I'll tell thee what Bifhops were in the pureft and pri- 
 mitive Times, and how much now they are unlike what 
 they ought to be, if they have any Confcience or Reafon'in 
 them 3 but if not, they are fit for any thing rather than 
 Bi/hops. 
 
 Which Honour of Bifliop, or Presbyter, for they are alt 
 one, or little, or no Difference, i 'ttokO to y.kaov^ faith Chry- 
 fojloniy (Homil. 11. in ^im.) very little, no more than (as 
 aforefaid) betwixt the Honourable Speaker of the Houfe of 
 Commons, and the Honourable Members, no more, if fo 
 much : But this Honour no Man taketh of himfelf, but he 
 that is called o^ God, as was Aaron -^ where note, by the 
 way, that he that is called by the Church, is faid to be called 
 by Gm^, or the Holy Ghoit 5 ?s J6ls j^. 2. 3. But how 
 was Aaro?i called of God ? By being ordain'd High-Priell : 
 Who Ordain'd him ? The Captain, the Lay-man, (as you 
 call him,) the Prince, by Name, ylfofes. 
 
 And why may not Mofes^ or any King, or Prince, preach 
 fin his own Perfon, and adminifter the Church Keys in his 
 own PerfonJ as well as Ordain a Deputy, or Deputies, call'd 
 
 Aaron'sy 
 
4 o Of Rowing at the Name of Jefu. Chap. Vo 
 
 Aaron s, if he be a Member 3 as furcly, the Head is the 
 chiefeft Member ? 
 
 A King Preach ! You'll fay, that would be worth the 
 hearing: Yeajoitis- And does not his Sacred Majefty now 
 Preach publickly once a Week, ^more or lefsj as Occafion 
 ferves? What, in the Pulpit, as the other King Henry 
 aforefaid, What Matter is that ? Whether in the Pulpit, or 
 the Throne^ or the Chair, or the Church, or the Banquet- 
 ing- Houfe, or Parliament- Houfe? The Place alters not the 
 
 Sermon, or Speech. . , ^, r vt u . 
 
 But he does not preach an Hour by the Glals : No j but 
 preaches more Divinity, Wifdom, and Senfe, in a Minute, 
 than thebeft of them do in an Hour, that I can hear j and 
 preaches ofrner than the Archbifhop. It is a thouland 
 Times more Skill to fpcak much in few Words, than to talk 
 impertinently a whole Hour. Oh ! but Preaching is not the 
 Archbifhop's Province, but Ruling : I thought that Ruhng 
 had been only the King's Province. Yea, the Archbifliop 
 is deputed by the King, and commifllonated for the Work. 
 
 I am glad to hear it ; he fhould be fo deputed and com- 
 mifllonated, as other Judges are 5 but he that gives a Depu- 
 tation, may, upon Male-Adminittration, take it away ; and 
 if either Archbifhop, Bifiiop, or other Prelate of them all, 
 pretend \us ^ivinum for that Prelacy ; it is not only falle 
 Lt they incurr all of them a Premunire, by the Siatutes of 
 Provifor's, made even in Popifh Times, againA thole bold 
 Intruders and Ufurpers upon the Throne 5 nay, nay, it the 
 Rook, or the BiHiop can Chec-mate the King, (put them 
 all together in a Bag) the Game is at an End. 
 
 St 'Peter, he was an Apoftle", (Are thefe Men more ?) 
 Was'he a Lay-man ? fo were all the Apoftles, even the 13th 
 too, St. "Paul : Peter faid, Lo I I go a Fijhing 3 -xe aljo 
 (quoth they) W// go "Mb thee. 
 
 In the Old Teftament, £//, Samuel, iSc. were no more 
 Minilters than Magiftrates, no more Priefts than Judges 5 
 nor "David any more a Prophet than a Captain, or King ^ 
 nor Solomon the Wife, any more a King than a Preacher. 
 (or Ecclefiaftes.) , ^ . ^r t a .. 
 
 In the New Teftament, Annas and CaiapMs were Judges 
 andPrieftsalfo; Whether were they Lay-men then, or 
 ClerPvmen ? The Prieft fat Judge upon the Bench, and the 
 Judge preach'd, or gave the Charge : Yea, but not m the 
 
Chap. IV. Of Howing at the Kame of Jefu. 4 1 
 
 Pulpit, and the Church : What then ? Does that make the 
 leaU Difference ? He is not fit for the Pulpit, that underttands 
 not the Law of the Land, and Nations, (where he preach- 
 es 5) nor is he fit for the Bench, that cannot preach Gofpel 
 from thence, as well as from the Pulpit : Ct^far was ^onti- 
 fex MaximuSy Chief Prieft, and Chief General, or Emperor. 
 Amongft the ^feivs^ the Scribes and Lawyers were Judges 
 on the Bench, and Preachers in the Synagogues alfo : In all 
 Nations it is generally fo • in T'urkey they have no Judges, 
 but their Preachers ^ nay, our Bi/hops rule not the Churth 
 otherwife than by Lay Elders, (the worft that ever were) 
 Sumrters, Regitters, Scribes, Notaries, Canonifls, Officials, 
 Vicar-generals, Chancellors, CommifTaries, and that Eccle • 
 fiaftical Crew at ^o6ior' $■ Commons ; never was Church in 
 the World fodifciplin'd: What Repentance ? What Penance ? 
 The Purfe is punifli'd, that pays the Reckoning! Oh brave 
 Church ! Oh brave Keys of the Church ! Fine Golden 
 Keys, and dainty gay Porters, Door-keepers, Key-keepers, 
 or Clavigers ! In the firft four Hundred Tears after Chrifl^ 
 ('till Bifhops, and afterwards,) the Pope made fuch En- 
 croachments upon the Laity, (as ignorant Pcrfons, fa 
 efteem'd, fo call'd, and fb treated) never was any Man lee 
 into the Church, 'till approved : By who ? By the Bifhop ? 
 Ko, by the whole Church. Nay, St. Auflhzy after he was 
 thirty Years of Age, continued a Probationer, or Catechu- 
 menifl, before he could get Adttiittance into the Church, as 
 a Church Member, attended at the Door, and waited (as 
 he confefTes in his Book of Confeflions and Recantations,) 
 three or four Years j and then moil Votes of the Houfe car- 
 ried it, not Mr. Speaker's alone, as with us ; nay, the Spea- 
 ker, or Bifhop, or Archbifhop, knows nothing of the Mat- 
 ter with us, but leaves all, by Implicite Faith, to Regifters, 
 
 The Papifls have much the better on't, for every Prieft 
 rules (as vvell as) feeds, ufes both Do<5trine and Difcipline, 
 (of Confeflion and Pennance) but the great Diocefan Bi- 
 fhops permit no fuch Matter to Piotedant Presbyters : And 
 why? Are not they fitter than Sell Soul Rcgilkrs Sumners, 
 Officials ? Yes, much fitter ; but then People would fay, 
 that the great Archbi/liop, that preaches little or nothing of 
 Do6lrine, or Bi/liops, that preach no better (if fo well and 
 fo often) as when they were Presbyters only, are good for 
 
 F nothing 
 
42 Oj "Bowing at the Name ^/Jefu. Chap. V. 
 
 nothing more than common Parfons, except for ruling the 
 Church : And how do they ruJe ? By implicite Faith in the 
 Black- Guard at !Z)c/7orV Cowf;2£?;;5, Blefs us ! What Difci- 
 pline is here? For above three Hundred Years after Chr'ifl^ 
 the People's Vote ordain'd, and were the only Clavigers, 
 Porters, and Key-keepers, to let Men in, and turn them 
 out of the Church. 
 
 So that the King, who is Father of the Country, is Fa- 
 ther alfo of the Fathers Ecclefiaftical, (as well as Temporal) 
 whether they know it or no» 
 
 And if I were of Council with, or for the Bifhops, I would 
 periwade them to alter their popifli-like Style, in fending 
 Procefs, and keeping Courts in their own Names, contrary 
 to the exprefs Words of x^n^ Statute of Ed-ivard VI. in that 
 Cafe made and provided 3 as I have proved (as yet unan- 
 fwerablyj in my Book, called 'rhe 7r/?, fcven Years ago : 
 Have a Care of a Prcmunirc : A Blot is not a Blot 'till it be 
 h\t ^ but if it chance to be hit, the Game is at an End. 
 
 Let them not ilrive to be independent • Are they Sub- 
 jects in Spirituals, as well as Temporals ? If Subje6ls, then 
 act in the King's l^ame, as other Commiffioners do, who 
 are authorized by him ; but if they dare pretend to a Ju- 
 irifdiftion Epifcopal, Jure divine, (more than a Presbyter 3) 
 have a Care of the Statute of Provifors, as aforefaid. 
 
 But lome Men fear nothing, 'tili it fall as heavy as inevi- 
 tably : Do we blame Arbitrary Power in a King, and allow 
 it in a Bifliop? Or, would any Bifl:iop (that knows what 
 true Canonical Obedience is) write in that Magifterial and 
 Apoitolical Style with St. -J\i<v/, (when, perhaps, the Bufi- 
 nefs is a rnecr wanton, or trivial Injunftion ?.) I might eiz- 
 join yon on your Cai20-,2ical Ohediencc, bur for Love fake 1 
 rather hefecch you. We ow^ Obedience to Bifliops, and 
 Judges, and Kings, alike in this, namely, to obey them in 
 Ileitis iS hv?7cfiis^ in all lawful and honeit Things : Loyalty 
 is Legality ; if I be legal I am loyal : Canonical Obedience, 
 (Tay all the CanoniHsj is Ohedieutia fecuiidum Canoncm : If 
 Bifhops (whom I reverence and relpe6t heartily, as the 
 King's Commiilioners, fo that thcy.do not exceed and tranf- 
 grefs their CommifIion,J iliould command me to fay twenty 
 tl^ater-72of:ers every Day before Breakfaft, it is Alajidatunt 
 I'cneftum^ but not licitum quia lex non yuhet : It is a good 
 Tlviivg, but I am not obliged to do evtry good Thing 5 no, 
 
 nor 
 
Chap. V. Of lowing at the Name of Jeft. 4^ 
 
 nor (fometimes) not obliged to do the bcft Thing ; He that 
 marries does -we/lj hat he that keeps his P'irginity does better. 
 If I do well, when I marry, let the Friars, or Nuns, do bet- 
 ter that like 5 and if my Bifliop command me not to marry, 
 (^which is an honeft Command, but not a legal Command) 
 but an arbitrary, luflful, imperious, tyrannical Command, 
 for which the Bifhop has no Warrant, and he .talks without 
 Book, (which is more, perhaps, than he can do in the Pul- 
 pit) when he prates of his Power to command, yet, for 
 Lovers fake ^ he rather hefeeches -, let him firft learn to obey 
 the Word, and to underiland the Mifchief of Impofitions, 
 poor Heart ! before he come to give a magifterial and dog- 
 matical Command, and to his Reverend brethren, (fo, in 
 Compliment, he calls them,) but ufes them, perhaps, like 
 Slaves, that muft do his bidding with Cap in Hand : Lee 
 him command his Servants, and go himfelf , I am his Ks- 
 verend Brother^ if he do not fpeak againft his Confcience 5 
 mentire ejl contra mentem iri j like the Pope, who is the 
 greateft Tyrant under Heaven, enflaving Souls and Confci- 
 ences, as well as Jayling their Bodies, 'till they be Carcaffes j 
 yet his Style is, Servus ServormUy Ser'uanty ;and Reverend 
 brother: But I hate the Hypocrify and Diffimulation 5 it 
 looks \\V.^Joah\ Compliment to Abner^ Art thou in Healthy 
 my "Brother ? And then ftabs him : Go jfudas ! Mind the 
 Bag, mind thy God, Afammon -^ mind the Bag, and keep 
 your Popifli Compliment — T)ear Srother — to yourfelf, *till 
 you ufe him in Refpe^t as a Brother. Comejl thou to betray 
 the So72 of Alan ivith a Kifs I Thou hypocritical jfudas ! 
 Can any Man look into our Chronicler, and not fee the in- 
 fufferable Arrogance of Priefts, in the Reign of Popery, anj 
 iince alfo, in the Reign of the popi/li like Ceremony- 
 monger ? 
 
 What a Slave to Prieft-craftvvas flout King Williayn the 
 Conqueror, when Aldredy Archbifhop of Tork^ required a 
 Boon of him, which the King was fo bold as to deny 5 
 whereupon, the Arch-prieft curll him, and flung away (in a 
 Rage) out of the Room j the King kneel'd and faid, he 
 would never rife 'till the Archbifliop would come and ab- 
 folve him : The Courtiers begg'd, for they durfl: not (lay 
 hold on his Laun Sleeves, nof) lay violent Hands upon a 
 Clerk, but with much ado, and much humble Interceflion, 
 they perfwaded him, at length, to return, and to forgive 
 
 F 2 the 
 
44 Of "Bowing at the Name of Jefu. Chap. V. 
 
 the poor kneeling King, and humble Pepitent 5 2Vo, quoth 
 the Bifhop, let him kneel y that he may k?io'w what it is to 
 vex St. Peter, ajid me ; at length, the King granting the 
 Bufinefs, (a Money Matter,) the Archbi/hop did loofe him, 
 abfolve him, and bid him rife. 
 
 The King, in all other Things, was wife enough, but being 
 biggotted by Prieft craft, and Prieft-ridden, he was crazed 
 with a foolifh Notion and Superftjtion : Nay, he would not 
 fighr, nor invade Ej2gla7idy 'rill the Pope gave him his Be- 
 nedifiion, a Banner, with a Wafer-Cod inclofed in a Golden 
 Crucifix, and alfo one of the Hairs that once came from 
 St. Jeter's Head. People can fcarce imagine, the imperious 
 Force of a filly Ceremony and SuperiHtion, even amongft 
 Men (otherwife) wife even fat this Dayj amongft us, meer- 
 ly by blind Devotion and implicite Faith in a filly Ceremony- 
 monger, becau'e (like as I faid before) the filly Image, 
 fand unthinking Black-Coatj makes a great Figure in the 
 Church, and which Nebuchadnezzar the King had fet up. 
 
 But if they pretend that jfus divinutn \% the necefTary At- 
 tribute of Lawn Sleeves, and that all the little Things he 
 commands, are Law and Gofpel 5 God help his Noddle, 
 and keep him from a Premunire. 
 
 A Bi/hop may pofllbly be a good Man, and a good Schol- 
 lar, though made when Popery influenced the Throne ^ and 
 fome of them made fo, for the unlikelieft Merits that ever 
 advanced a poor Heart. 
 
 But, if he were not a good Scholar, a good Preacher, or 
 a good Linguift before, it is not probable, that the Coiige 
 d Ejlier (let it be got how it will) can improve either his 
 Parts, or his Learning. 
 
 The King's Mandate can make a Man a Bi/hop, or Lord 
 a Baronet • but all the King's Mandates in Chrifteitdomy 
 cannot make him a better Schollar, a better Man, or a better 
 Linguift. This I can demonftrate by my own Knowledge, 
 Acquaintance, and Experience, That they that knew not 
 Syriacky j^rahick^ nor Hebrew^ (before they got the Conge 
 d'Ejlirc) are as ignorant, and unlearned Linguifts, as they 
 were when they only were Presbyters, not a Jot the more 
 improved by the King's Mandate, in any Knowledge, ex- 
 cept that of their great new Rents ; nay, without a Miracle, 
 their bufy Employments, from the Parliament-Houfe to the 
 Council- Board, or to Confirmations, or Vifitations, muft 
 
 hinder 
 
Chap. V. Of 'Bowing at the Name of Jefu. 45 
 
 hinder their learned Studies : Fo^ Lawn Sleeves cannot make 
 a Man a Linguift, that was none before j though it may 
 make him more Right Reverend, 1 grant, than he was 
 when but an ordinary Presbyter. 
 
 In /hort, this Ceremony-monger is that cumberfome Bag- 
 gage that pefters the Ship of the Church in a Calm, and 
 helps to fink it in a Storm ; but what cares he ? Let the 
 Church or State fink or fwim, fo he can but fave his own 
 Cargo, and himfelf, in the Long-Boat. 
 
 Therefore he carciTes, and huggs a Patron, that has a 
 good Living in his Gift. 
 
 I have read an Oration in Praife of ^fndas 5 I am apt to 
 think a Ceremony-monger made it, becaufe he admires any 
 Man that carries the Bag 5 and in his Heart loves Popery^ 
 becaufe (like him) it makes Money of \ti God, and yet 
 hates plain downright Popery in England^ becaufe it inca- 
 pacitates a Churchman, and is inconfiftent with a Dignitary 
 Ecclefiaftical : For though he be of no Religion in good ear- 
 neft, yet Fll truft him for a fure Stake againft bare-faced 
 Popery, whilft the Current of the Laws of Preferment runs 
 ilrong againft it : He'll never kifs the Pope's Toe, I'll warrant 
 you, whilft he lives in Hopes to make Men kifs his own gold- 
 en Slippers. 
 
 Thus my Ceremony-monger loves Religion and God too, 
 as the Lyons, and other Beafts of the Wiidernefs, love him, 
 who feek their Meat from God, ^fal. 104. 21. 
 
 Nay, he can faft and pray too, and keep Thankfgiving- 
 Days (as the State calls) in Show, but in his Heart is as 
 hypocritical therein, as the Emperor Charles the Fifth, who 
 ordained publick Prayers and Fafts to be made to God, 
 throughout his many Dominions, for the Deliverance of 
 Pope Clement the Seventh from Captivity, when he himfelf 
 had taken his poor Holinefs Prifoner, and kept him Captive 
 in the Caftle of St. Angelo in Rome, 
 
 Thus mocking God, (as the Dean and Chapter does in 
 Choice of a Bifhop, (as aforefaid) after they have received 
 the King's Mandate to choofe N. N.) and begging the Af- 
 fiftance of the Holy Ghoft in their Ele<fl:ion of a fit Man to 
 that holy Office, when they know well enough their Man 
 before-hand, fit, or unfit, they can neither will nor chufe j 
 thus (like Ephraim, Hof, 11. 11,) compa0i?2g God about 
 'With Lies, atid the Houfe of Ifrael iiith 2)eceit. 
 
 Thus 
 
4<f Oj "Bowing at the Name of Jefu. Chap. V. 
 
 Thus the crafty Fox Tthe Emperor \tiherim) mock'd 
 Heaven by commanding Common Prayers fhould be faid 
 throughout the whole Empire for his fafe Conduft in a Pro- 
 grefs he never intended to make, fro ititl^ redim (fays Su- 
 etonius) fupplicationes in dixit cum non intcnderct* 
 
 Thus the Ceremony-monger is always crying up the 
 Church, the Church, (meaning himfelf, and fuch as him- 
 felf ^) for whatfoever ado he makes about eflablifhing the 
 Church, 'tis the Wages (it brings him) which makes him 
 buftle, like King Hirmns Servants, in hewing Timber to 
 build a Temple for that God which they neither knew, nor 
 cared for, being a Lover of his own Will-Worfhip, his own 
 Will and Pleafure, more than a Lover of God. 
 
 Uniformity be cries • for with his Mouth he fliows much 
 Love, but his Heart (like EzckieCs Auditors) goeth after 
 his Covetoufnefs. 
 
 Yet, as covetous as he is, he will fometimes be as liberal 
 as a Prince, to propagate, maintain, and uphold that fingle 
 and paramount Vertue of his foppifh and illegal Ceremo- 
 nies : And, therefore, at the Choice of Parliament-Men, 
 What Pains and Coft does he lavifh, in making Parties for 
 fuch Men as are moft like himfelf, and fuch as he thinks 
 will keep up the out-fide of the Church, how little foever 
 of true Devotion is within ^ being zealous for Faith. Is he 
 a Ceremony-monger ? That's his Telf, by which he tries all 
 Men's Religion and Devotion. 
 
 Like the Prince of Darknefs, he hates the very Sun in 
 the Firmament, if it difcover his dark Abode. 
 
 This Ecclefiaftical Fop efpoufes Religion (as other Fops 
 Marry) only for the fair Face, Portion, and gaudy Drels - 
 and may be a Son of God notwithftanding • (I mean^ in 
 that Senfe the Scriptures called the old Giants the Sons of 
 God, that feeing the Daughters of Men, that they were fair, 
 took them Wives of all, which they chofe rneerly for the Skin- 
 deep Perfection ; Eyeing nothing of inward Goodnefs, nor 
 the Beauties of the Mind ^ for both of them are carnally- 
 minded, and fledily given, hankering after the Law of a car- 
 nal Commandment, and carnal Ordinances : Oh ! how he 
 huggs them ! 
 
 And if any Man dare fpeak a Word againft the Beauty of 
 his Mif — , or dare make Comparifons, or prefer a richer 
 Beauty, Oh ! how he fwaggers with his Curfes and Anathe- 
 ma's, 
 
Chap. V. Of "Bowing at the Kame of Jefu. 47 
 
 ttia's, and damns him for a Schilmatick ! And, if he can, 
 jails him too, and there lets him die and rot : What ! fpeak 
 againil Mis— ! 
 
 Thus he is, indeed, the great Scare-Crow in the Church, 
 a Man of Clouts, that looks like a Man at a Diftance, but 
 if you fearch him, he has no Bowels : He wants not Will, 
 but Power, to make his little Finger thicker than his Prede- 
 ceflbr's Loins. 
 
 His Confcience is always juft of the Size with that of his 
 Prince : If his Prince be given to Wantonnefs, he dares not 
 fo much as quote the Seventh Commandment in his Sermon, 
 nor name Adultery. If he had lived in. Macedon^ in the 
 Reign of /Alexander, you might have known him for a true 
 Courtier, by his wry Neck, Regis ad excmplum. 
 
 His Ceremonies are more futile, and thin, than a Spider's 
 Web, and can neither catch nor hold any Body, but Flies, 
 or fuch filly lnfe6ls • yet he has in their Defence, the Venom 
 and Gall of a Spider 5 which tranfcends him in one Thing, 
 for fhe begins her Web at her Bowels, but he has ndne 5 as 
 being of the Opinion of the Philofopher Zeno^ who, amongft 
 the Difeafes of the Soul, (which he reckons up) makes Hu- 
 man Compaffion to be One. 
 
 He keeps a Buftle for his Trinkets, let it make never fo 
 great a Diflurbance or Danger to the Church or State ; fro 
 u4rn ^ Focis, he cries, fland up for the Church 5 chough, 
 indeed, his area is the j^ra^ to which he bows fo devoutly 
 and demurely. 
 
 Not that he cares for his Trinkets neither, if he could 
 make more Money by parting v^ith them, than he has got by 
 keeping them : He would forfake them and the Saints too, 
 with i)emasi for Love of this prefent World, .upon a fair 
 Profpeci of a better Market at Thefalojiica, in the Idol's 
 Temple _: Amicus 'Plato, he cries, ainicus Socrates^ fed tna^ 
 gis amici T>ivitia £5? Uonores. 
 
 He is worfe than Salaam, who could not curfe Ifrael^ 
 though Salak would have given him his lioufe full of Silver 
 and Gold. 
 
 For my Ceremony-monger is always for that Religion, that 
 is moft in Vogue, and, like a Frenchma7i, loves any thing 
 that is inFa/hion^ but, when out of Fafhion, he leaves it, 
 like Lice, that prey only upon the living, but forfake Men 
 when they are going to die ; Or like Ratjf, that, by Inftina,- 
 
 defer: 
 
48 Of lowing at the Name of Jefo. Ghap. V, 
 
 defert the Houfe that is ready to fall : Thus he worfhips 
 (with the Indian) the rifing Sun. 
 
 When the nnendicant Frier preach'd before Cardinal Ode- 
 fcalcbo, (this prefent Pope, beibre he got up to the infallible 
 Chair) and Cardinal Sachetti ^ he begun his Sermon thus : 
 — " St. ^eter was a Fool, St. 'Paul was a Fool, the Prophets 
 *' and Apoftles, all Fools, for wandring about in Sheep's- 
 *' Skins and Goat-Skins, being deftitute, afHifted, and tor- 
 *' mented in their Way to Heaven, when they might as well 
 *' have gone thither (as their SuccefTorsJ in Scarlet Gowns, 
 '* and Scarlet Hats." The Capuchin had an Eye to my Ce- 
 remony-monger, or to one as like him as ever he can look. 
 
 For this Ceremony monger (notwithftanding his voluntary 
 Humility^ is as proud as Lucifer^ and hedors, like a Pope, 
 againil all Oppofition, exalts himfelf above all that is called 
 God 'j valuing his Canons, above the Statutes of the Realm. 
 
 Thus, as the Papifts preach up the Rules of St. Francis^ 
 St. Seiiedi&y and St. 'Uominick, (that may be good Things 
 too, many of them,^ not only above the Laws of the Land, 
 but above the Laws of God too, and drains at a Gnat, at 
 the fame Time when he fwallows a Camel ; for, in his 
 Prayer before Sermon, he fpeaks like a Moufe in a Cheefe, 
 when he prays to God there ^ but when he preaches up the 
 Gofpel Rules, then he makes the Pulpit thunder (till the 
 Church eccho againj with the Canons, the Canons, (which 
 may be good Things too, fome of them, fo that you make 
 noComparifons with their Betters,) making a hideous Koife 
 with preaching up them and his Ceremonies : Methinks he 
 then looks like the Emperor Caligula y when, with a nume- 
 rous Army, he march'd with Colours flying, Trumpets 
 founding, and Drums beating (loud as a Thunder- Clap) to 
 gather Cocklc-fhells. 
 
 No Man more zealoufly cries up the Laws of the Land, 
 and A6ls of Uniformity, when he gets a Nonconformift 
 thereby upon the Hip, and to Penal Law him • but when 
 the Point of the fame A£ls and Laws of the Land are turn'd 
 upon himfelf, or he be commanded to do any thing he does 
 not like, he cries out, Coj!fcie?2cey a??d the Liberties of Holy 
 Church are hivadcd : Juil as the jfeivs, to affront Ctefar, 
 they cry'd out, Thar God alone ivas their Ki72g 5 but, to af- 
 front Chrift, they alter their Note, and fay, JVc have no 
 King hm C^far. 
 
 Thus 
 
Chap. V. Of "Bowing at the Name of Jcfu. 49 
 
 Thus he lays heavy Burdens upon others, and grievous to 
 be born, but he himfelf fthat is the greateft Nonconformift 
 to the Aft of Uniformity, with his irrational and illegal 
 Ceremonies^ does not touch the Burden with one of his Fin- 
 gers. Yet you cannot well difcover him 3 for ye /liall not 
 readily fee him walk, ("but, like a Spaniard^) never, or 
 feldom Abroad, without his Cloak ; beggarly enough too, 
 (for the moft part,) and can fcarcely cover his Rags, and 
 his beggarly Elements, and Will Worfliip. 
 
 C H A P. VI. 
 
 Concerning unlighted Candles on the Jltar, Or- 
 gans^ Church' Mufick^ and other Foppijh Sym- 
 bols^ &c. 
 
 dow-Shut5 
 
 H E Papifts, flike the Cynick ^ioge'tzcs^ that 
 went with his Candle and Lanthorn at Noon- 
 Day, into the Market-place, to fee if he could 
 find an honeft Man there, becaufe the Sun could 
 not iliow one,j at their idolatrous and prepofte- 
 rous Mafs, draw the Window Curtains and Win-. 
 (^as if they were afham'd, that the Sun fhould 
 fee fuch a dark Devotion, and diffipate the Darknefsj (like 
 that heavy Plague fent by God to Jii.gypt^) sl Darknefs pal 
 pable, a Darknefs that might be felt. Thus the dark Shop 
 commends the Ware, and, like other Stage-Plays, Aft ac 
 Noon-day by Candle-light, to choofe, leil: their Tinfel Lace 
 /hould not pafs for Silver Lace 5 nor their 'Briflol Srones for 
 Diamonds. Our Fops, with lefs Reafon, do fet up Cnndles 
 too on the Altar, as well as the Papifts 3 we mull: be ftill like 
 them, and be Popifii Apes, without fo much as Popifh Rea- 
 foning. 
 
 For what Signification of Light can this Ceremony be, 
 anymore than a Stick? A Candle unlighted is no more a 
 fignificant Ceremony of Light, than a Stick, (before the 
 Lire touches \t) is a Firebrand. 1 am not ofjly afhamed of 
 
 G my 
 
50 Of unlighted Candles on the JUa}\&cc. Chap. VI. 
 
 niy Fops, but really am afhamed to ufe any Words about itj 
 it IS needlefs to expofe it, and yet it is retained as a Thing 
 of Value, becaufe that Foppery (amongtt others) made my 
 Ceremcny-mongcr a Man of Value ; for without them he 
 had ilill fate (in the Seat which beft becomes him, and is 
 too good for him) the loweft Srool in the Church. 
 
 Kot that our Blefled Saviour loves to fee his Spoufe (the 
 Church) in a lluttifh Drefs 5 no, her Rayment is (or ihould 
 be) of Keedle-work, and wrought Gold 5 (Does any Queen 
 deferve it better '0 but her chiefcft Beauty is her inward and 
 fpiritual Grace and Vertues. 
 
 There's fomething mdre than a pretty Face and Portion, 
 that wife Men look for in a Bride • though my Ceremony- 
 monger (like other Fops) minds little or nothing elfe, or no- 
 thing fo much. 
 
 I know, that the Church of Ei?gland declares in Words 
 2gain{x any Adoration, though they retain the Pofture, the Po- 
 pifhPofturc 3 not our Saviour's Pofture at the Floly Supper, but 
 vulgar People mind Works more than Words : And is not 
 that Spiritual Father very wanton, that will lay a Stumbling- 
 block (fo Popifli-like) to make his weak Child fall ? You 
 and I can leap over it, but all M:n are not fo nimble ; ai>d 
 ^an wear a Surplice, or white Gown, as harmleisly as a 
 Black ^ but others diflikc it, becaufe it is a Mafs Priefts 
 Weed, which is true, though it is a filly Rcafon, but all 
 Men are not wife. 
 
 I read of vocal Muuck \v\ t#ie New TelTament, and fing"- 
 ing of Pfalms, but not a Word of the little InPtrumenr, the 
 Violin 3 nor the great Bag-pipes,: or Organ • nor of Men 
 that made a Trade of Singing, as the Beggars do in "Bohe- 
 oiiidy and as Gypfies ; and our Singing-Men and Singing- 
 Boys get their Living by Canting : Nay, moft abominably 
 and pfO])hanely, they cant the very Creed. What chopping 
 of Words fo ludicroully in lb folemn a ConfefTion of Faith ! 
 j§or!2 of the Virgin^ Virgin^ Virgin ; 'Bor7i of the Virgin 
 Mary, Marv, ^s?t:. Oh ! moft prophanc ! And every Body 
 hears this, but who reproves it ? Who amends it, that ought 
 to amend it ? And nor fit (like fo many unthinking Black- 
 Coats,) not minding what is done with fuch impious Mock- 
 cry, and filiy Ivccho. 
 
 JSut why not loftrumental Mufick, as well as Vocal? 
 There's a vaftly different Re.afbn 3 the pooreft Men, the 
 
 pooreft 
 
Chap.VL Of unJighied Candles onthe Altar ^Uz, 5.1 
 
 pooreft Pari/hes have Ton/^ucs wherewith to praife God, 
 but have not fo much fuperfiuous Money to fpare, as to buy 
 Organs, anil then give as much, or more, to maintain an 
 Organii^-, as the Vicar has. 
 
 Some Bi/liops taJk of Uniformity, and one Mouth 5 Why 
 not one Sound too ? A poor Countryman may be as good a 
 Chridian as a rich Citizen, Broker, or Ufurer, that has fu- 
 perfluous Money ro buy Organs ^ which, if it conduce to 
 Godlinefs, the Bifliops ought ro commend it to the poor, as 
 well as to the rich Courtier, King, or Queen ; and allow 
 fome Thoufands Yearly, ffureiy, he can fpare it freely, for 
 the Promotion of Godlinefs and Uniformity, which he fb 
 cries up:) But Mum, — not a Penny 3 I'll fecureyou, to make 
 one Sound, anci one Mouth. 
 
 And who can blame that Countryman, (though all the 
 Church laugh'd at him in the great Alley,) when the Pipes 
 begun to play, he fell a Dancing, having never "heard the 
 like before, except the Bag-pipes in an Alehoufe, ivhere he 
 did always ufc to trip it ? 
 
 And the Country People do think that they want fome ex- 
 pedient and requifite Devotion in Prayers and Praifes, or 
 elfe they, and all the World, muft think, that this Popi/h- 
 like Muiick and Organ, is too much Superftirion. 
 
 But what can my filly Ceremony-monger fay for himfelf^ 
 why Sentence fhould not be pronounced againft him, for an 
 impenitent DifTenter, anathematized, and then (by his own 
 invention, the ftrange Writ dc Excom. capiendo^) be jayl'd, 
 and tormented (like- poor DiiTcnters from the Kdc ot Uni- 
 formity,) 'tiil he roar again , and then deprived and de- 
 graded : Come, ^erillns / 'Tis but juft you fliould hanfel 
 your own brazen Bull : For Dilfenters (by Omifiion) are 
 pardonable, they may pretend Weaknefs and Confcience ^ 
 but in rhofe needlefs, liily, irrational, illegai, and unfcrip- 
 tural Ceremonies, What canll thou plead but VVantonnef?, 
 Folly, and Impudence? 
 
 Muiick is a great Spender, the greatell: Spender and Wader 
 of Time in all Sciences, to be expert and, ready at it ; Nay, 
 you'll iofe it too, if you have not a great deal of walle Time, 
 (from Budnefs) to throw away upon it. iDavid had nothing 
 to do, when he wasyoung,^ but fit on a Hill, and pipe to his 
 Sheep, and finger his Lute and Harp 5 in which, by Ufe, 
 he was fo skilful, that it made him a Courtier- (though 
 
 G z K-ing 
 
5 2 OfunlightedCandles on the Altar^t<.z. Chap.VI. 
 
 King Said had forgot him, when he killM Goliah,) but he 
 had often before ufed to play the Devil out of him 5 and in- 
 llrumental Mufick was as n.uural to him as Plalms ; his 
 Fingers as good at it as his Tongue. If Men be brought up 
 in Hunting, in Mufick, ^c, they'll fcarccly leave it, when 
 older, or richer, but rather ufe it the more, and improve it ^ 
 and when we have got T)avid's Skill, and King 2)avid's 
 Exchequer, we'll have as many Organs, and kill as many 
 Bullocks for a Sacrifice, as he did, if we have nothing elfe 
 to do with our Money ; or cannot tell how to fpend an Hour 
 or two m Devotion, without Organs to divert us. 
 
 My Ceremony- monger pretends to have a wonderful Zeal 
 for Knowledge, and againft Ignorance^ and would have the 
 Youth inftrufted (in the Catechifm&) to Admiration 3 like 
 the Pharifee (of old,) and yet, to his utmoft, takes away 
 the Key of Knowledge from the People , getting the Prefs 
 Monopolized to himfelf, many Times, and Chopping the 
 Prefs, and the Pulpit- Doors, and) lilencing thofe (to choofe) 
 that difcover his Buffoonery in Religion • taking a Pride in 
 a tyranical Preheminence, (like the Pharifee,) and faying, 
 That thefe fame People, who know not the Law, are ac- 
 curfed. He would gladly be accounted the 'Domwe fac- 
 ^ottim^ and yet does nothing (at all,) that good is, nor per- 
 niitting others to do it : He neither enters in himfelf, and 
 they that would enter in, he hinders ; except he may be the 
 only authentick Porter, or Door-keeper ^ fcorning that Al- 
 mighty God fhould give any Man better Eyes than his own ; 
 though he (poor Soul !) fees but glimmeringly, and by 
 Spe6lacles, in a Glafs darkly • and all to uphold the high 
 Seat he has got in the Church, (I know not how 3 and yet I 
 do too, in parr, though not fo well, perhaps, as the Pope's 
 Kuncio, or Father Tetre. 
 
 THE 
 
53 
 
 T H E 
 
 CONCLUSION, 
 
 CHAP. I. 
 
 Of StiYeties in Baptifm* 
 
 N D now you may fee, by the Picture that I 
 have drawn, that a Ceremony-monger's Soul 
 and Confciefice is neither ruled by Holy Scrip- 
 ture, right Reafon, nor by the Law of the 
 Land; bur, in defpight oF all thefe, fome of 
 them are fuch only through Cuilom, Ignorance, 
 blind Devotion, implicit Faith, and api/h Imitation ; others, 
 and thofe no fmall Fools, upon Defign, decoy 'd by Avarice 
 and Ambition : But, Cuftom is a fecond Nature, even in 
 Religion too, or more properly, Superftiticn : Cuftom is the 
 Father, and Ignorance is the Mother of their Devotion : As 
 foon may an JEthiopian change his Skin, or a Leopard his 
 Spots, as a Ceremony-monger his foppifl-i Superftition, he 
 is fo accuftom'd to it. Cuftom can beget nothing upon a 
 Man of Reafon, a Man whofe Reafon is not clouded ; and 
 yet, Cuftom has a Brcod in the World far more numerous 
 than Truth could ever beget; becaufe Truth, the Father 
 of wife Men, can never beget any thing, bur upon Reafon, 
 the Mother of true Devotion ; But thele Mothers are but 
 few, and therefore there are but few of the Breed, very few 
 rational Men, and rational Chriftians, in Comparifon of the 
 Numbers of thofe that go the broad Way, and go in at the 
 broad Gate, that leadeth to Deftru6lion, and many there be 
 that go in thereat ; namely, all thofe whole Religion and 
 Worfhip has no other Ground, except Cuftom, (in Conjunc- 
 tion with Mother Ignorance) for their foppifti Devotion. 
 
 ^ ' ^^ Thus 
 
54 Of Sureties in jBapti/m. Chap. L 
 
 Thus the poor filly naked Jiidia^is in America^ I have ca- 
 techized them,) and asked them the Reafon, Why they did 
 bow to fuch an Idol, that was nothing more than other Wood 
 and Treey, of which it was made. They had all one and 
 the fame Anfwer, oamely, CuUom, and their ^eei's 3 ^eei's^ 
 What are they ? but a certain crafty fort of Men amongft 
 them, that lead the reft of the Fops by the Nofe, by feme 
 Superftitions of their own Invention, calPd ^Peci^s, that is, 
 Priefts of the Devil, whom they worfliip in that bowing 
 Idolatry j for they never worfhip God, (whom they acknow- 
 ledge in dark Apprehenfion,J for they fay, God is good 5 
 and fome of them will fay, God is a good Mciiiy and 'will not 
 hurt them, and therefore they worfhip the Devil, to affwage 
 his mifchievous Wrath. 
 
 Even fo, our Englijh foppifh Ceremony-mongers anfwer, 
 ('when I catechize them,) and ask them the Reafon of their 
 bowing to the Altar, when there is no Idol, and to the Eaft, 
 when there is nothing divine more than in the South and 
 North ; and th£ Altar nothing, but a piece of Wood, made 
 of the fame Wood and Trees with the Pews, the Stools, and 
 the Pulpit , Then, juft like the naked Indians, that are but 
 juft one Degree fif they be fo muchj removed from a Mon- 
 key, anfwer, that it is a Cuftom, and their (\Peei'sy orj 
 Priefts do fo, that's all. 
 
 Oh ! but the Priefts are crafty, they do not bow for no- 
 thing, rhey get a Place by it, and Preferment ; and there- 
 fore are forced to get as many Fools as they can to be their 
 Difciples and Followers; for, when Owls are alone, they 
 are hooted at, but not Birds that fly in Flocks, though they 
 be Jack-daws. 
 
 I have ask'd fome of them a Reafon for their confufed 
 and prophane, irrational and unfcriptural babbling together 
 the Reading Pfalms ; and all their Anfwer is, that (it is 
 granted, that) it is a confufed Noife, and therefore unintel- 
 ligible ; but their Priefts do fo, and the Singing Boys, and 
 they arc accuftom'd to it. 
 
 1 have ask'd fome Account alfo of others, how the Or- 
 gans got into Church, to make fuch a Noife, and atfo great 
 a Charge and Expcnce, in the firft Purchafe, and Continu- 
 ance 5 ^/iidas his Qucftion is proper here, To ^jobat 'Tiirpofc 
 is this IFajle'^. Had they not better be fold, and the Organ- 
 ift's Sall.iry retrench'd, and j^iven to the Poor ? 
 
 They 
 
Chap. I. Of Sureties in "Baptifm. 55 
 
 They anfwer, That Mr. Alderman was willing withal - 
 and that he could not Iky a long Hour or two out of his 
 Compting Houle, at Devotion, without fleeping ^ and there- 
 fore, how Ciofe-fifted foever he ufed to be at other Times, 
 yet, on this Occafion, he nimbly opens hisl^urfe to pay the 
 Mufick. 
 
 But of all thd brisk Reafons of my Ceremony-mongers, 
 that of a She-Geremony-monger was very furprizing 5 when 
 being ask'd, Why ihe, in Defiance of plain Scripture, fpoke 
 in the Church ? anfwered nimbly, That her Tongue was fo 
 ufed to wag at Home, that it could not lie fiill in the very 
 Church : And yet, the fame Church-prater was lilenced, 
 when queftion'd. Why /he, in Imitation of the Dodior's 
 bowing his Noddle to the Altar, Madam Limber-ham made 
 a Curfey, and bow'd both her Knees ? Na Reafon could 
 be got for that Mimickry. 
 
 And all the Realon that fome Bifhops can give, why they 
 ordain, many Times, rude, illiterate, unthinking Dons to 
 the Pulpit, to teach others, and know nothing of the Mat- 
 ter, nothing of their own Knowledge 5 no Divinity is con- 
 cocted, or digefted, and made their own, and in their Head 
 and Heart : (The Body of the Law is digefted by a Law- 
 yer, before he is fit to come to the Bar ; and the Body of 
 Phylick, by Phyficians. before they are fit to feel the Pulfe, 
 or be Licenfed ;) His Anfwer is, That he trufts to his Dea- 
 con, or Arch-deacon, by implicite Faith, he believes as the 
 Archdeacon tells him ; and that the Form and Manner of 
 ordaining Deacons, Priefls, and Bifhops, requires no more : 
 Well, 'tis very well anfwer'd, and moit Epifcopaiiy. 
 
 And why do you confirm, and lay Hands fuddenly upon 
 fo tTiany ignorant Perfons, that underftand not one Article of 
 Faith, nor can fo much as fay the Creed ? The Anfwer is,- 
 The Common prayer Book requires no more than to believe 
 by implicit Faith, the Fitnefs of all that the Parifh Prieffc 
 fays is fit 5 he mud take it for granted, and believe as the 
 Priert believes, and fee with other Men's Eyes. 
 
 Befides, Where do we read (except in the Mafs-Book. 
 and Common-prayer Book) of fuch a Thing in Scripture, 
 cs Confirmation by a Bifhop? That Scripture o{ Little 
 Children comi72g to Chnfly and he laid bis Hands upon them, 
 and hle/fcd them^ is, in the Common-prayer Book, applied 
 to Infant Baptlfm, in the Office of Publick Baptifra 5 and 
 
 moft 
 
5^ Of Sureties in "Baptifm. Chap. L 
 
 moft incongruoufly (too) for that Purpofe ; for ycfiis bap- 
 tized none, neither Men, Women, nor Children, his Dif- 
 ciples did that : Nay, the great Apoille of rhe Ge?2riles 
 went about confirming the Dilciples by found Preaching, hut 
 he baptized very few ^ one, or two, or three, he confefles, 
 that he did baptize, and if he had baptized any more, he 
 had forgot : And as for laying Hands upon any Children, 
 there is not the leaft mention of any fuch Matter. How 
 came it then into the Church ? V\\ tell you. 
 
 Infants being not able to make a Confeflion, or Profeffion 
 of Faith and Repentance,' which are required ot all Per- 
 ions before they be baptized. 
 
 But, becaufe that Infants, by Reafon of their tender Age, 
 cannot perform ihcm • therefore they do perform them by 
 Proxy, or by Sureties: Becaufe the Sureties do promife, (a 
 wife Reafon, far Promifes may be broken j they fliali per- 
 form, both Faith and Repentance, when they come to Age. 
 . Ay ! Here's a wife Reafon for a learned Church, and 
 enough to make all rational Men (that have not loft their 
 Reafon) be Anabaptiils. 
 
 For all Promifes and Vows are either broken, or kept ; 
 but the Promifes and Vows of Godfathers and Godmothers 
 in Infant Baptifm, are feldom or never kept , but are broken 
 Vows, and broken Bonds and Prom if Js. 
 
 The Sureties promife and vow, that the poor infolvent 
 Child (that cannot fpeak for itfelf) fliall, when ir can hear 
 (for Faith comes by hearing) have Faith ; and when it can 
 fpeak, then if /hali have Grace to confefs and repent. 
 
 But, fuppofe the Child live to have Wit enough to be a 
 Ceremony-monger, Had ever any Man, or W^oman of them 
 the Grace to confefs, recant, and repent ? And then the 
 Promife of the Snretics is not worth more than fome Lord's 
 Promifes, not worth a Farthing. 
 
 Again : Suppofe the Child prove deaf, or dumb, or a 
 Fool, the Sureties vow they do not know what • nay, iF it 
 live to be hang'd, as many are, for Thieves, Witches, Mur- 
 derers; How is tl^e Godfathers and Godmothers Vow and 
 Promife perform'd ? when they vow'd and promifed for a 
 Child in Baptifm, That it fliould forjakc the Ticvll a>:d all 
 his JVo7^ks, the Tompi ai:d Tuii?'nies of this ivicked Worlds 
 and all thefinfld Liifti of the Ficjh. Secondly^ They vow and 
 promife, that the Child Hiall believe all the Articles of the 
 
 Chriftian 
 
Chap. I. 0/, Sureties in Saptifm. 5 7 
 
 Chriftian Faith j Do they not break their Vow, if the poor 
 Child prove to be a Sceptick, a Hobbift, or an Atheift ? 
 '^rbirdly., They vow that poor Child /hall keep God's holy 
 Will and Commandyne7it ^ and walk hz the fame all the T>ays 
 of its Life ; Do they not break their Vow, if. the poor Child, 
 for whom they fwore, fa folemn Vow and Promife, in the 
 Prefence of God, being an Oath,) happen to turn Apoftate, 
 Papift, Mahoinctan, or Infidel ? Are not the Sureties all for- 
 fworn ? And though they be, or be not, there's the Mif- 
 chief, no Good can poflibiy come of it, but that which is in- 
 cumbent upon Parents, and which Sureties feldom or never 
 mind, namely, Chriftian Educatio7i -^ andiffo, they fhould 
 not fwear and vow, in the Child's Name, that the Child 
 does, or fhall believe and repent: It is enough to promife 
 good Education (if the Godfathers and Godmothers be bar- 
 ren, or old, and paft Children 5 in fuch cafe, it is enough to 
 be fo kind and careful) of another Man's Child. But if they 
 have Children of their own, or likely to have any, it is too 
 much, becaufe Charity fliould begin at Home j and there- 
 fore the faid Vow and Promife is but uliially like the com- 
 mon Difcourfe of Hedors and Bullies ; {I fwear ai?dvoii\ 
 they cry, on all Occafions) when they intend nothing by vow- 
 ing and fwearing, but forfwearing 5 and adding a Lye to the 
 Promife and Vow. 
 
 Firfly Then the Sureties promife that which no honeft^ 
 Man can honeftly promife, who makes a Confcience of i 
 Vow, becaufe he promifes that which is impoflible for him 
 to perform. 
 
 Secondly yU the infolvent Child be bound by Sureties, and 
 good Bail, if he leave them in the Lurch, he wrongs them 
 not, he gave them no fuch Commiflion, Power, Deputation, 
 Authority, or Requeil, to promife and vow in his Name ; 
 and therefore that Talk of a Vow in Baptifm, is Nonfenfe, 
 idle, and v?.in : How can a Man break a Vow, or a Bonl, 
 that he never made ? but his Sureties made it in his Behalf 5 
 ay, without his Order, Knowledge, Care, or Defire : How 
 is the Child concern'd therein, any more than other Children 
 in the World ? 
 
 Thirdly^ Suppofe another Man's Faith, or Repentance, 
 (that has enough of both) for his own Salvation, and alio 
 Merits ("called Works of Supererrogation by the Papifts,) to 
 fpa.c, heap'd up, and running over, (which the Saints de- 
 
 H parted, 
 
58 Of Sureties in $aptifm. Chap. f. 
 
 parteJ, St. 'Bridget^ St. Wimfrcd, St. Francis, St. Ignatius 
 Loyola, St. Coleman, Sic. has left at their Departure, as a 
 Uii Legacy to the Pope, (as the Papifts hold) Faith and Re- 
 renrance enough to fare all the Whores and Rogues in the 
 A-Vorld, to whom the Pope gives (no, fells) to any that has 
 Money, and is willing to buy. 
 
 If Works of Supererrogation be true, it is the firft Mar- 
 ket I would make ; I had rather buy Heaven than a Knight- 
 hood^ or a Bifhoprick. 
 
 U God Almighty would fH^e fpme Creditors) take Sure- 
 tics, and qnemproquo^ that if the Child could not perform 
 ^nd pay Faith and Repentance, then fall upon the Sureties, 
 and make them fmart for it 5 then you fpeak to the Purpofe. 
 But, God is jut}, the Soul that finneth it jhail die, and the 
 Soul that believes and repents fhall be faved 5 bat I fear the 
 h^{\ Protetlant has nothing to fpare for a poor infolvent 
 
 Child. ^ ^ ^ 
 
 Fourthly, Suppofe (which is poffible) that the Sureties 
 are infolvent, and have not Faith and Repentance for theni- 
 felves • then all this great Fat is in the Fire • they can never 
 perform, nor pay a Debt for another, that have not where- 
 with to difcharge their own Debts, let them promife and 
 vow, and be bound in as many Bonds as they pleafe for other 
 People. Any Fool, or Beggar, can promife to pay a Thou- 
 fand Pounds for another, But what iignify Promifes, Vows, 
 or Oaths, made only to be broken and forfvvorn. 
 
 Laftly, Which is the faddeit Cafe of all, (or not a Pin 
 to choofe) fuppofe that the poor Child is baptized without 
 *Sureties, as are the greatelt Number (by far) in this popu- 
 ous Town 5 and in private Baptifm, neither Sureties, nor 
 he S'gn of the Crofs is required 5 then they muft bring 
 Sureties afterwards to Church, and then it fliall be figned 
 with the Crofs. But half the Parifhes in this Town have 
 .JO Churches, and they are not obliged to carry the Child to 
 another Church. Now you are gravell'd, Mr. Ceremony- 
 monger, and you do not know what to do, or fay. 
 
 Again, thofe that have Churches will nor, or cannot, for 
 I-ove, nor Money, get luch good-natured and kind Sureties, 
 to promife, vow, orfwear for,the Child: What will you do 
 ?iow ? Now you are worfe gravell'd. 
 
 For either the Child in private Baptifm, without Sureties, 
 ?.nd the Sign of the Crofs, is baptized aright, truly and 
 fallv, ornct? If 
 
Chap. I. Of Sureties in "Baptifnu j^ 
 
 If not, then half the Kingdom are unchriilcn'd Infidels 3 
 there's one of rhe two Sacraments half joft by your foolidiRea- 
 fonings, and fond Doctrines 5 except you confefs that the Child 
 IS rightly baptized without Sureties, or the Sign of the Crofs. 
 
 Eefides, the Vow and Promife of Sureties gives either 
 true Faith and Repentatice, or not: If only falfe, it is nothing 
 worth, 'tis talfe Coin, it cannot, fhall not pafs current any 
 longer : If true Faith and Repentance come thereby, then 
 is this believing and penitent ChilJ capable alfo of the other 
 Sacrament of the Lord's Supper ; for no other Qualificati- 
 ons can be requifite : Faith and Repentance fits rhem for 
 Heaven and Glory j and if io, it muii needs fit them for the. 
 Means of Grace, in the Way to Glory. St. Auguftinc^ good 
 Man,, was thus run to the Wall v;ith this Argument, fund fo 
 mull: the Church of England^ 'till they get a better Rcw^.foii 
 for Infant Baptifm, than they tell us in their Catechifm and 
 Common-prayer Book,) and mufl: rationally fall into the 
 Error of St. Atigujihza^ who put the Holy Supper, like 
 Spoon- meat, down the Children's Throats 5 thuspiophaning, 
 becaufe not difcerning the Lord's Body. 
 
 But the Sureties do it for them 5 then let them eat and 
 drink alfo for them, take both the Sacraments in their Name ' 
 and Stead, and go to Heaven alfo in their Karnes and Stead. 
 And what will the poor Child get by all this ? He will never 
 know any thing of thofe Heavenly joy-, which h^ Proxy and 
 Surety enjoys. 
 
 CHAP. II. 
 
 Of,Efcapes in the Common-Trayer Sookj in re-- 
 ference to the AU of Uniformity. 
 
 HAT! Shall v^e have no Ceremonies at all 
 then ? Oh ! yes, your Fill, fo you'll be contenr, 
 and not impoie your fmall.Senfe upon others in 
 Canons and A6ls of Uniformity • which are not 
 only vain Attempts hitherto, (even fince the firft 
 General Council of Nice^) but all the gre*t Wars in Chnfteti- 
 
 H A dcm^ 
 
6o OfEfcapes in the Common-prayer Sook Chap.II. 
 
 ^om, upon the Score of Religion 5 the innocent Blood fp lit 
 betwixt the Arrians and Atha7iafiam^ the ^Paptfts and the 
 (ProteJliVUSy the Conformifls and NofiC072fonni/lSy the Ani- 
 mofities, Jails, Ruin, Fines, Imprifonments, Smithfteld 
 Fires, and Bloody Inquifition, muft all be charged at the 
 Foot of this Account. 
 
 It is very ftrange, that Chriftians will not be content with 
 the Impofitions and A6ts of Uniformity, which God, the 
 Holy jfefuSy and his Apoftles have provided. Hajl thou 
 Faith i (faith the Apoftle) have it to thy felf : Hatt thou a 
 Ceremony (thou art fond on ?) it may be good, it may be 
 bad, make much on't, keep it to thy felf- to thine own 
 Maflcr thoiijlanded or fallefl. 
 
 We have general Rules, as to honour God with our Sub- 
 ftance for Eftates) in Works of Charity, which is the 
 greateft Thing in Religion, and without which all thy Faith 
 and Hope is nothings as faith St. 'Paul^ or is a dead Car- 
 riouy disi^sdxhSt, jfameS'y becaufe Charity, the Soul of Faith, 
 is departed, when thou evidences thy Faith to be a nothing 
 paith, a dead Faith, by deftroying Charity, in killing and 
 Jmprifoning thy Brother for Faith's fake ^ and perhaps thy 
 weak Brother, ('for whom Chrifl died) through thy Impo- 
 iitions, and Penal A6ts of Uniformity ; A6lvS that are not 
 only tnifchievous in breaking the Peace and Unity of Breth- 
 ren ^ not only uncharitable in beating thy Son, or thy Bro- 
 ther, becaufe he is blind 5 reflore him to his Sight, in the 
 Spirit of Meeknefs, is the Apoftle's Rule ^ Blows will never 
 cure his Blindnefs. 
 
 Beiides, Uniformity is an unnatural, impoflible, and there- 
 fore an irrational, wicked, and vain Attempt. Go, teach 
 God to make a new Heaven, with Uniformity of Stars, and 
 Skies fpangled uniformly, they are now all of different Forms 
 and Features. Go, teach him to make Men uniform, they 
 are all now of different Forms and Features : Go, teach him 
 to make a new Earth, and fet a new Face on it • the Land- 
 Ikip now looks fo much the more lovely by the Variety, 
 which God and Nature feems to delight in : And wilt thou 
 f^thou filly Ceremony monger, and Projedlor) be vvifer than 
 God? 
 
 If thou hadft feen our Bleffcd Saviour fometimes ftand 
 and pray, fometimes kneel and pray, fometimes lie on a 
 Bed, or Coach, and eat the Holy Supper j fometimes fall 
 
 upon 
 
Chap.II. OfFfcapes in the Common-prayer "Booh 6\ 
 
 upon his Face and pray : If thou hadrt feen all this Variety, 
 thou wouldft have excommunicated him, then capiafs'd and 
 jail'd him, if thy Fiercenefs had not kick'd him, and fpurn*d 
 him up, hadft thou but had an Adt of Uniformity to back 
 thee. 
 
 We are bound to honour God with our Subftance, in 
 Works of Charity, ("the greateft Duty 5) but how much, 
 when, and how, in particular, is left to the Difcretion and 
 Liberty of every Man 5 no Rule of Impofition is, or can be 
 made about it. 
 
 We are obliged to honour God with our Bodies, the lead 
 Thing in true WorOiip, (tor bodily Exercife profiteth little,^ 
 but how much, when, and how, in particular, is left to the 
 Difcretion and Liberty of every Man 5 no Rule of Impofiti- 
 on is, or can be made about it. 
 
 Then you'll lay, the Church of Bfigl(^nd was miftaken in 
 one of her Thirty- nine Articles, that fays, T'he Church has 
 'Po-zver to appoi7iT Ceremonies : And alfo the King and Par- 
 liament were miftaken in the A£i of Uniformity, that en- 
 joins all BiHiops and Clergymen, on pain of Deprivation, to 
 fubfcribe, aflent, and confent to ail and every Thing, as true, 
 which is contaio'd in the Common prayer Book. 
 
 Here is a heavy Charge, Convocation- Houfe, and Parli^- 
 ment-Houfe, both upon my Back ; bur, come, one at once, 
 and I'll deal with then? both, one after another, as well and 
 as fart as I can. 
 
 Fifft then, I fay, in general, that any Decree under Hea- 
 ven, that is either unlawful, or impoffible to be obey'd, is 
 not at all Obligatory : This is fo plain, that it needs no fur- 
 ther Proof, it is like the Light of the Sun, felf evident 5 if 
 the Sun fhine, no Man doubts it, but he that is blind, or 
 winks on purpofe, left he fhould be convinced. And as to 
 that Article, viz. The Church has Po-jcer to enjoin Ceremo- 
 nies — it confounds all the Ceremony-mongers amongfl us. 
 And in all my Travels, Reading, and Difcourfes, 1 never 
 met with any Man, Bifhop, Prieft, or Lay man, that ever 
 did, could, or durft explain What is there meant by Churc/^ 
 
 If it be taken for the Clergy, either in (or out of) Con- 
 vocation, or Synod, viz. That they have of themfelves a '/us 
 ^ivi^itijiiy a Divine Right, to enjoin Ceremonies to the 
 People of England^ they all incur a Premunire, that claim 
 fuch a Power, and juftly, for they thereby fet up a Lcgifla- 
 
 tivo 
 
6 2 Of Efcapes in the Coimnon-prayer "Booh Chap.II, 
 
 five Power, independent of, and diiiincl from the King and 
 Parliament, (the only Legiflators,) and is af moll pernicious 
 Confcquencc, ind foun<l to be fo in all Ages : and by the 
 Statu:es of Provilnrs (made both by Popifli and Proteftant 
 Kinp^s and Parliaments) condemn'd as raofl- pernicious and 
 infufferable, by invading the only Legiflative Power, (King, 
 Lords, and Commons) the great Fundamental of our Go- 
 vernment, and fitting up a I'hing call'd, A Churchy inde- 
 pendant of, and equal with, or above the State, if it be fo 
 bold as not to pleafe them, or fliouid dare to difpleafe them. 
 Better it is, not to be a State, than to befuch a pitiful State, 
 at this precarious Rate, that dare not but be Priell-ridden. 
 Our Noble Anceifors, in Popifli Times, fcorn'd the Motion^' 
 and were true EfPgHJJnncn : This DilHn^lion of Church and 
 State, is a Popifh and pernicious .Diltindlion 5 two Higher 
 Powers is orie too much. 
 
 But, if by the Church,- in that Article, be meant, the 
 Kin^ and 'Parliament^ (the Reprefentatives of the whole 
 Eody of the People) the Convocation, and Canon makers, 
 will, by no means, acknowledge that 3 for that makes them 
 Cyphers, and (as many People account them) ufelefs Tools : 
 And never did King and Parliament ^neither) make Laws 
 coercive in Matters of Religion, or Uniformity in Religion, 
 but Con fu Hon, Divifions, Schifms, Tumults, Sedition, Blood, 
 Ruin, and Civil Wars, were the difmal Confequences in 
 F/,igland y whereas there would be none of thefe, no Dif- 
 fentions, no Penalties, no complaining in our Streets, if the 
 Legiflative Power (unfuborn'd by Prieil-crafrJ make no Laws 
 but what are proper for their Cognizance, and for the Peace, 
 Welfare, good Manners, and good a-bearing in the State : 
 And then, where there is no Law, there can be no Tranf- 
 grcflion j and thofe odious Names of DilTention and Seditiorr, 
 Conformill:, and Nonconformilt, will find an eternal Grave. 
 
 I'll give but one Indance in that fame A£t of Uniformity, 
 which requires all Clergymen to give their Affent and Con- 
 fent to all and every thing (for Truth) which is contained 
 in the Common-]irayer Book. 
 
 But, Who made the Kings and Parliaments of Englmid 
 iirfallible Popes, fince the Church of £;;^/^«^ confeffes fhe 
 may err? 
 
 And how irrational and unaccountable is it for Men that 
 confcfs their Ignorance 5 and yet with the fame Mouth, will 
 
 fa 
 
Chap.II. Of Efcapesin-the Common-prayer jBcok 6^ 
 
 fo vote a Law, or Impofition of their Scnfc in Religion up- 
 on all Mankind under their Jurifdiclion ? For ought they 
 know, they may command and cnaci, That all Clergymeiiit 
 fliail aflcnt in their Judgments, and confent in their Wilis, to 
 a palpable Error, Lie, or Untruth • or cl(t, take their 
 Choice, toftarve, lie down and die 4 for Farm they may 
 nor, ThraAi they cannot, and if they beg they are lent to 
 Srideivel. 
 
 AikI this is our very Cafe this Day 5 we may not chufe 
 what Chapters for LefTons, what CoUecls, Epifties, and 
 Gcfpels we lift to read, but muft read thofe that are ap- 
 poibred for the D.iy : And the laft Year they were all falfely 
 appointed, or elfe thofe Words in the Common-prayer Book 
 are falfe, that fixes and afcertains Eafter S'unday\ (the Ai.ra^ 
 or Beginiiing of the Account, whence all the Leflbns, Col- 
 lefls, Epiftles, and Gofpels, are computed, nominated, and 
 appointed. 
 
 But that is not only filly, and unccrt.nn, but falfe and con- 
 tradictory in the Common prayer Book, and therefore botii 
 the faid Mras cannot be true. As for Example, by ono 
 Common-prayer Book Rule, the laft Eafter Sunday fiiould 
 bave been kept upon April 8, becaufe Eafter Siuiday (whence 
 ail other Feafts, Leffons, Collects, are computed ail the Year 
 after J is always the firft Sunday next after the firft Pull 
 Moon which happens after March a 5, which was April 8, 
 laft paft ; But by another Rule in the Com.mon- prayer 
 Book, it was (and lo we kept it) upon April 15, laft paft. 
 
 They cannot both be true, but one of them is a Mathe- 
 matical Untruth, (and which no Body can deny;) yet Bi- 
 fhops and Curates muft all aftent and confent, that this Falfe- 
 hood is a Truth, (and fuch a Falftiood it is, and of fo evil 
 Confequence, that) it makes a Blunder, and confounds all 
 our wife Methods otUniformity inCommcn-prayers, Epiftles, 
 Gofpels, and Leflbns ; And if we do not confefs and Tub* 
 fcribe, that this Falftiood and Untruth is a Truth, then ftarve 
 and die. 
 
 I can give feveral other Inftances of our irrational Do6]:rine 
 and Difcipline, but I am loth to offend, let them even go on, 
 they'll give me but little Thanks for my Pains already- bur,' 
 I thank God, I do not find the Fault, to expofe it to Shame] 
 but to cvire it, I know how : And, let me tell you, it requires 
 fome Skiii in the Cure. Why tnay not Lightning rometimcs 
 
 corns 
 
64 OjEfcapes in the Common-prayer ^ooh ChapJI. 
 
 come from a black Cloud? And a dull By-ftander fee better 
 fometimcs, than he that plays? Some Part of that Seven- 
 hill'd City (Rcviie) is fituated in a Vale, as well as Weflmi7i- 
 JlcrHall '^ and therefore no wonder if, fometimes,' both of 
 them be in a Fog. • 
 
 And if it abate the proud, pragmatical, impofing, felf con- 
 ceited, dogmatical, and imperious Spirit, that confounds the 
 whole Creation by Methods and Aims of Uniformity, point- 
 blank againft thofc diilfcrent Meafares of God and Kature, 
 it is well. 
 
 CHAP. III. 
 
 Concerning 3iiJJjops. 
 
 H A T I am going to fpeak concerning Bi- 
 fhops, may the more favourably be received, 
 bccaufe fo contrary to Self-Intereft, the worft 
 of Evil Counfellors. 
 
 For why may not I (as well as any other) live 
 in Hopes of a Pair of Lawn Sleeves, rightly 
 put on, iince nothing elle keeps me from making as good a 
 Speech in the Houfe of Lords,, as that which, of late, was 
 only a Speech without Doors 5 and proves fo genuine, and 
 well aim'd, that all of it is (now) a Speech withifi Doors. 
 However, I could ferve as well as the beft, to make up the 
 Number of the Yea^s or No*s 5 and that's all the wife Speech 
 that fome Men ever did make : (I do not fay) that ever they 
 can make ; for the irjore frugal any Man is, and the Icfs he 
 fpends, the greater is his Stock. 
 
 But if I had been fo hafty as tobefpcak the Lawn Sleeves, 
 this Sheet (that I am going to write) willfpoil all my Finery. 
 And certainly, there cannot be fuch a Fool in England^ or 
 the World, as to think that the King's Letters Patents, or 
 Conge d'Ejlirey can make the Baronet, or the Bifhop, a 
 Linguill, or a Learned Man, (except he was fo before,) 
 though ufually the Vulgar are of Opinion, that if a Bifhop, 
 oi a Lord fays it, writes, or preaches it, O Heavenly ! be- 
 
 caafe 
 
Cfiap. III. Concerning ^iJJjops. ^^ 
 
 taufe O Earthly ! and is a Judgment as prepofterous as that 
 Adtion of the Orator, when pointing to the Earth, he de- 
 ehim'd — Coelinn ! 
 
 But it is a received Maxim, — No "BiJIoop^ no Kivg : I 
 know not who invented it, but it may be true, in fomeSenfe 5 
 but it is falfe, if it be meant — No rich "Bijhop^ no King ; 
 for that the rich Bifliops were fo rich, that what with the 
 Hank they got upon filly Men's^ Confciences, and the Inte- 
 reft that their Lands, good Leafes, and Dependencies, their 
 Tenants, Servants, and Friends, they were fo prevalent, 
 when united, that when our Kings have (fometimes) been 
 fo hardy and bold as to difpleafe them, they have either taken 
 the Crown from his Head, (as the rich Bilhop o{ Wlncheftcr 
 unking'd his Brother King Stephen) on wnofe Head that 
 Nimrod o^ a Clergyman had, without any Right, clap'd it 
 on 5 and upon Difpleafure, the Bi/hop chiefly unking'd him 
 again, and (in effed) fpurn'ditoff, as ^andolfus^ the Pope's 
 Nuncio, did the Crown off King John\ Head, which lay 
 grovelling at his Foot, whilft the proud Prelate put it on ; 
 and to fhew the Eccleiiattical Infoience of fome Lawn Sleeves, 
 he up with his Foot, and kick'd it off from the King's Head. 
 So that— no Bi/hop— no King (Stephen^ ov ^ohn,) and i 
 Bifhop— no King (Stephen, or yohn for that rich Bifhops, 
 like other rich Lords, are a Strength to the Crown, when 
 it does not difpleafe them 5 and, on the contrary, have been 
 too great and dangerous when controui'd, growing niufliy and 
 morofe ^ a King had as good be a Slave m'Tttrkey, as to be 
 at the Mercy of fuch Popi/h-like EccleHaftical Pride. 
 
 Nay, did not the very Dean of lFeJlmi?2jler, and ?he Arch- 
 bifhop of Tork (chiefly, though with others bandyed) make 
 the Reign of He72rylV, and Henry V. very uneafy ? Fo^ 
 which Caufe, the wife King Henry VII. invented a Way to 
 pull down the Stomachs of the great Temporal Lords, with 
 their own Hands, by enabling them to alienate and fell their 
 Lands j of which many were fo glad, that it was the firll: 
 Bargain they would make, (to chufe :} Away runs the Foot- 
 man for the Ufurer and Scrivener, (who were as glad to buy 
 as the other to fell,) when both Sides are willing, the Bar- 
 gain is foon ftrock up, and Time was unwing'd, 'till the En- 
 tail \^as dock'd. 
 
 Then his Sony lienry VHI. he reform'd the Clergy with 
 a Witnefs, amd powketeS ap the Reformation by A<fl of Par- 
 
 1 iiament i 
 
66 Concerning "Bijhofs. Chap. HI. 
 
 liament • and excluded from the Houfe of Lords all the Spi- 
 ]itual Lords Abbofs, and put their Lands in his Pocker, by 
 Statute Law. Ed-ward VI. and Queen Elizabeth^ were his 
 own Children too 5 for they, and their wife Council, finding, 
 that though the Spiritual Lords (Abbots) were excluded the 
 Houfe of Lords, yet the other Spiritual Lords (Biiliops) 
 were fo proud fometimes, and high, that no Body could 
 imagine them to be the beft Difciples of Cbrifty who was 
 meek and lowly j therefore is'i'ci'^r^ VL took at once from 
 the Archbifliop of ^'br^, about 7Jhirry-feven great Manors, 
 and were annex'd to the Crown: And Queen Elizahefb, 
 amongft other Things, took all the Lands belonging to the 
 jrince Palatine of Ely, CBifl-iop) (in the Vacancy) and gave 
 zocoL to be paid out of the Exchequer, annucilly, a fufHci- 
 ent Competency, and an Injury to no Man 5 for the Bifhop- 
 rick was in u^haya^ice (as the Law calls it) in niihibus^ it 
 being in pcjje^ any Body's, but in ejjc no Body*s. 
 
 So that I alfo am fo Snuch a Lriend to that Proverb — No 
 SWoopy no Kir.g^ — and fo very much a Friend to Bifhops, 
 that where there i^ one now in England^ I wifli there were 
 twenty 5 and as old as I am, I hope to live to fee it, and yet 
 not take one Farrhing from the prcient Incumbents, nor in the 
 leait diminifli the vait Revenues and Grandeur of, my 
 Lords, the Bifiiops that are in PcaTefFibn ^ let them keep it 
 (I fay) 'till they die ^ and die they muft, and then their Bi- 
 iliopricks being vacant, (by Death, however, if not fooner 
 juftly forfeited) it will be no Injury to any Man, to /hare out 
 and divide the vaft Incomes to many Bi (hops, who mu(l take 
 the Pains, and perform the Work of a Bifliop in their proper 
 Perfons, which is nov; done by Proxies, Sureties, and Impli- 
 cit Faith. 
 
 And I doubt not, but that all my Lords the Bifiiops would 
 be of my Mind herein, as to the Work of a Bi/liop, which 
 they themfclves, and all E?2glijhner,^ find to be fo great a 
 Work, and a Burden fo much too heavy foranyfingle Shoul- 
 der, that they are forced to perform the great Afh of a Bi» 
 iliop, in Ordinations, Confirmations, Excommunication^, 
 Abfolutions, ^c, only by foppifli as well as Popifli-like Im^ 
 plicit Faith, feeing with other Men's Eyes, and hearing with 
 dther Men's Ears, that it is no Wonder that they err fo often. 
 Oh ! But the Wages then mull be divided, as well as the 
 Work, Flcih and Blood cannot bear this Doflrine : No, it 
 
 cannot 5 
 
Chap. III. Concerning SiJJ,wps. 6j 
 
 cannot 5 therefore Fle/h and Blood cannot enter (neither) 
 into the Kingdom of Heaven : But a Biihop {'of all others) 
 ought not ro confult with Flefli and Blcod, and Self-Intereft, 
 which, above all Things in the World, does bribe Men's 
 Judgments, that they cannot (becaufe they will not) give 
 their Afifent.and Confent to fo great a Truth. 
 
 King Charles I. was tenaciowily in love with Bifliops, as 
 now conftituted, even to death, fo great was his Opiniona- 
 tree in the Cafe , and yet he fays, they were not Bifhops 
 ^uye 2)ivino^ by Divine Right, and yet neither contra jfiis 
 tDiv'iJtnm : But, 1 think quite contrary, viz. that there is no- 
 thing in Scripture more plain, than that Bifliops are j^ure 
 ^ivinOy and nothing more plain, than that the Bifliops in 
 England., now conii'tuted, are contrary fabfolutely contrary) 
 w Jiti T)'winum., or Divine Right, fo far as they a6l like 
 Novices in Implicite Faith 5 i H'lm. 3.3. A Bifhop muft 
 neit,hcr be a Novice, nor given to filthy Lucre. For any 
 Boy Bifliop, any ignorant and unlearned Bifliop, is as good 
 as the bed, in thofe A6tsof Implicit Faith 5 any Novice can 
 fee with other Men's Eyes, and hear with other Men's Ears ; 
 any Novice can (and the greater Novice the fitter too) be- 
 lieve as others believe, without any other Reafon. 
 
 Therefore, (ince the Holy Scripture fays, a Bifliop ought 
 not to be a Novice ^ if he be a Novice, that ^'i^i^ but by Im- 
 plicit Faith, then tell me, ('count them if you can) How 
 many Novices have we in Frngland that do all their greareft 
 A£^s by Implicit Faith ? Th;s is as bold a Stroke, you'll fay, 
 as ever was 5 and yet not a Jot too bold to ftrike at fo grand, 
 fo foppifli, fo Popitli a Folly, as Implicit Faith 5 by which, 
 (it mufl: be granted, and cannot be denied,) our Proteftant 
 Bifliops do all their mighty Bufineffes, and is the Caufe of 
 fuch a contemptible and ignorant Clergy, ill grounded Ex- 
 communications and Abfolutions, and Capias's thereupon 5 
 and fuch unlcriptural, irrational, and blind Confirmations, 
 perfwading the ignorant, that they are fit to receive the 
 other Sacrament of the Lord's Supper, when they know no- 
 thing of the Creed , and fomerimcs were never lifted, or 
 matriculated into Mother Church, by the initiating Ordi- 
 nance of Baprifm. 
 
 But that is the Fault of the Perfon, nor of the Conftituri- 
 on : If that were true, it might be amended, but it is falfe j 
 for it is not the Fault of the Perfon only, but the Fault of 
 
 It- tht 
 
d8 Concerning ^iJhops> Chap. III. 
 
 the Conftltution, which obliges no Bifliop in his Office and 
 Performance of thefe great Epifcopal Acls, but only to the 
 Knowledge of a Koyice, or Implicit Fairh. 
 
 Nay, if our Conftitution did oblige him, it would oblige 
 him to ImpolTibilitief;, for his Work is more than any Mor- 
 tal can perform m propria perfo7ia 5 and the great Charge of 
 Souls (which he takes upon him) more terrible, ('ifhisCon- 
 fcience be awake, or not bribed with the Wages, it muft be 
 fenfible) that no Piety, Parrs, or Prudence, can pojflibly dif- 
 charge, except as now, by Implicit Faith ; which any Boy, 
 or Child, or Novice, can perform as well as the beft. 
 
 It was Covetoufnefs therefore, and Ambition, that firft 
 made Bifliopricks fo large, (for the fake of making all the 
 Bifhops Lands therein one Man's Monopoly ^) and alfo made 
 Birtiops Confciences fo large, as to gape and fwallow all, the 
 relifhing Bit was fo guftful and grateful to a greedy Gut : 
 'Eui from the Seg'mnivg it isjas net fo. 
 
 Now, every County muft have a Bifliop ; nay, fometimes 
 Two, or Three, or Four Counties will fcarcely hold one 
 great Bifhop j nay, to them too muft be added, fometimes, 
 a rich Deanery. Is it not ftrange, that a BiHiop fhould be 
 a Deacon again, for the Money Gike ? And a Parfon again 
 by Coyiimcndam, for the fake of fomc bulky Parfonage, like 
 IViggin in LancajJnre^ in Commeidam held by Dr. Cart- 
 miright^ Bifhop of Cbejler^ row advanced to be a Npn-fuch 
 Proteftant Reader in Popi/li France^ and Curate to a Popifh 
 Prince, in the Proteftant Chapel in the Caftle of Aferli. 
 
 Thilippi^ (nay, jferiifciifyn,) a little fcanty City, not fo 
 big and populous as Colcbcfter^ by half, and yet had feveral 
 Bifliops at a Time therein 5 Thilip. z. i. ^0 all the Saints 
 li'hicJi are af Philippi, ivith thc!Biflyops a7id ^eacoi?s, Ho\y 
 many Bifliops of London^ at this Rate, muft there needs 
 be in London^ not to mention the three Counties of Hert- 
 ford^ Effexy and Middlefcx^ into the Bargain. 
 
 Ay, but the Houfe of Lords will not hold fo many Bifhops. 
 No, I grant, there are Bifliops enough there already, as 
 fome have faid, and angrily grudge, that we Clergymen 
 (who are as much reprefented in the Houfe of Commons, as 
 any Commoners in England^ and make as great a Buftle at 
 an Election of Members, to get Men for our Turn,) fliould 
 alfo be reprefented in the other Houfe^ which no other Corn- 
 inoners arc 5 and that my Lords the Bi/liops arc tried by 
 
 their 
 
Chap. III. Coiieernivg !Bifiops. 6g 
 
 their Peers, that is, by their Equals, Commoners, but the 
 Lords are Concilarii Nati : It is part of their Inheritance to 
 be the King's Counfellors, and a Seat in the Houfe of Lords 
 is part of their Eftate and State : But fuch Men talk like 
 thofe that fay. That we had Englijh Parliaments before 
 Bifhops and Abbots fat in the Houfe of Lords, and many 
 Statutes (the Judges fay,) are good Law, though made (in 
 feveral Parliaments) excliifo ClerOy the Lord Bifhops, and 
 Lord Abbots, being /hut out of Doors, and not permitted 
 into the Houfe of Lords ; Nay, the Lord Abbots, that had 
 as good and as ancient Right to lit in the Houfe of Lords, 
 as Lord Bifhops, are long ago, and to this Day excluded. 
 Notwithftanding my known Devotion to my Lords the Bi- 
 fhops, (I confefs) I have not Skill enough to anfwcr fuch 
 Reafbns and Records ; it behoves them that have more Wit, 
 and are more concerned than I, to give this a rational An- 
 fwer 'j I confefs my Ignorance, but my Devotion to them ia 
 well enough known. 
 
 And I cannot deny, but that Bookifh Men, (as my Lords 
 are bred) and ufually Fellows of Colleges, (by that State 
 they take upon them in the College,) ail but themfelves 
 going bare to them, if they do but fee them at the further 
 End of the Court, let it Hail, Snow, or Blow. This in- 
 clines Men to be pedantickly proud ever after, (I knew it 
 too experimentally) being made a Fellow of Go?2vil and Ca- 
 jus College in Cambridge^ when I was but Junior Batchelor, 
 and not nineteen Years of Age) 'till Travel and Experience 
 in the World (which all Bifliops have not) refines this Info- 
 lence, and rpakes it more fociable and complaifant. 
 
 But let no Man envy the Liberality of our Anceftors, in 
 endowing the Bilhops and Univerfities fo plentifully : A few, 
 that are truly worthy and learned Men, may well compound 
 for the Generality of a contemptible Clergy j that would not 
 have been fo truly contemptible, but that my Ceremony- 
 monger, in bad Rei$?ns, got PoffefFion (too often ) of the 
 Steeple (the loftielt Piece of the Church) by Popifli-like 
 andFoppifh Ceremonies 5 and then it behoved him to keep 
 open the Door by which he enter'd, to fuch only as were 
 like him, and followM his Steps, and exclude all others to 
 his uttermoA, whofc Vertues and true Learning muft necef- 
 farily (if fet near him) ruddy his Cheeks, and make hink 
 blufh for Shame. 
 
 But 
 
70 Concerning "Bijloops. Chap.IIL 
 
 But crafty young Lads finding that eafy Way to the Wood, 
 and that it was much more eafy and profitable to go to a 
 Dancing School, than to the laborious Schools of Worth, 
 and crabbed Learning, to which it is fo difficult and fo un- 
 profitable (as Times have been) to bend the Mind 5 and 
 alfo very facile, honourable, and beneficial to bend his Body, 
 in filly Cringings and Bowings : Farewel Books, faith he, 
 and dry, unprofitable Studies 5 Til go to the Ecclefiaflical 
 Dancing-School, and commence Do£}or Ignoramm, 
 
 Hence it is, that our Wife Men of England have made 
 our Engiifh Bifhopricks oiit of two poor Words in Tit. »i. 5. 
 xarat rroAH' 5 ill underllood 5 in every City making Elders^ 
 (or Biiliops, (faith St. 'Paul to TitiiSy as I have appointed 
 thee :^ jLATet 'TTohtVy in every City r 
 
 Tlience it is, thart futh a Pother was made, to make fuch 
 a little Town (as Car li fie) a City ; For why, forfooth ? And 
 Colchefler^ an ancient City, and twenty times bigger than 
 Car a fie ^ to dwindle to a Village ^ For why, forfooth ? Be- 
 caufe every Bifhop'sSee niuft be a City, (>cctT* tt'oUvs) and 
 but one City in a Bifhoprick ; and therefore, little Carlijle 
 mull: be a City, and Colchefler^ which, to my Knowledge, 
 35 ten times bigger, and forty times more rich and populous, 
 muft dwindle from a City, (as anciently it was the only City 
 oi Ef/cx '^} and why? 
 
 Kf'TA Toxiv has done its Bufinefs 5 City and Bifhopricks 
 muft be Convertibles, and London being the greater City 
 and Bifhop's See, or Seat, ergo^ ^c. kat^ toA/i/, which (1 
 confefs) Origen (Lib, 8. contra Celfurn) does Paraphrafe, 
 €1/ 6Ki6s-n ^oArt, much like Cbryfofiome^ ko,^' \yMw 'ir'aKiv^ 
 (i Tom. HomiL 1.) in every City j (thus the iifelefs Feather 
 of an Eagle, confutiies all other Feathers that are near it, 
 and in the Nell^,) whereas not only the beft Greek Authors, 
 but the Holy Scripture, confounds the Word x,6^y.M and t6a/<-, 
 a Village and a City, in feveral Places, both in the Old and 
 New Telkment- as for loftance (in i Cbron. 4. 32. j their 
 Villages, ( Erarn^ ^c.) were Five Cities. 
 
 So, in the New Teikment, St. Ztike calls Setblehew^ 
 ToKiiy the City of 'David^ (Luke z. 4.) but St. jfohn calls it 
 jcuuY\y the Village of iDavid^ and I'll call 'Bethlehem^ as I'll 
 give Colchefter a Name too, (Why not ? fince I have help'd 
 to Chriften a great Part of the Town thefe Seven and Twenty 
 Years,) ;c<i;y.o toA/,-, a City-Town 3 though the Bifhop's See, 
 
Chap. III. Cvncernirig ^iJJoops. 71 
 
 or Scat, at the great City of London^ has taken its good 
 Name from it molt fcandaloufly and unreafon ibly to give it 
 to little Carlijle^ for the fake of y.-jLTct tt'okiu j a Word, the 
 Ceremony-mongers never right underftood, they were fo 
 bufy about Ceremonies, they had no mcjre Leiiure to under- 
 Hand 2^/r. I. 5. ihan ^Phil. z. lo. both of them fallely inter- 
 preted, and thelarter faJfely conflruecl, and falfely tranflated, 
 either through Ignorance, or Fraud, to make room for a 
 Konfenfical Ceremony. 
 
 There were one Thoufand BiHiops in Armenia^ fays Sa- 
 renins^ (ad Jinn. 1145.; /\nd Jiiflinian the Emperor ^T^e- 
 travon^ and Novel. 31. c. i.) lays, there were but' Twenty 
 Cities in his Time, and they have decreafed ever fince : How 
 could one Thouiand Bifliops then fit in Twenty Cities? Ex- 
 cept there were manyBifhops in one City, or many Bifhops 
 in Villages and fmall Towns. 
 
 Nay, to go no further than Trela?7d ^ Su Patrick founded 
 there 9^5 Churches, and as many Bi/liops, faith NemiuSi and 
 alfo Bifliop Ujloer^ (late Primate of Armagh ■^) and yet 
 there never were 565'Cities, and now but 19. 
 
 In Gofpel Times, the BiHiops were chofen by the People^ 
 and mod Voices carried it for two, of which God chofe one 
 by Lot, the Lot fell upon Matthias, 5 and 2 do Years after, 
 ffc'V/'^/^^^ tells us,) that all the People, (that is) the Majority 
 consented, or elfe no Bifhop was chofen 5 (Cyprian^l. z. 
 Epift. 5.) Convocatdplehe tota, ci^ de Uuiverfce frarernitatis 
 fiijfragw 5 and Cdecelianm was chofen Bifhop of Carthage^ 
 mins populi Jifjfragio, Otat, lib. i. by the general Vote of 
 the People. No Man was excommunicated, {Cyprian^ lih. 
 9. Ep» 14.) niji canfnm aBuriis apud Univerfam plehcm : 
 Not every fneaking Pvcgiixer, and peaking Subrogate, could 
 fend a Soul to Satan^ for refufing or regle<fting to give the 
 Knave a. Groat, or the like : Brave Ecciefiafticai Difcipline 
 of the Church of England I It is juft fo in Spain and ^Por- 
 tugal., but not fo bad as here i^our (faid ro be) Reformed 
 Church of England. Reform'd i in what ? Oh ! the Ser- 
 vice Book is in Englifh^ and made intelligible by thePeople^s 
 alternate babbling, like thofe illegal, irrational, and unfcrip- 
 tural Mock Songs of the Sirging-men and Siiiging-bo;ys 3 to 
 feed which Mouthing Tribe, fo vaft an Income is Yearly 
 thrown away in Cathedrals, that would ealily fupply ftoge- 
 ther with fleepy Prebendaries, when vacant,) all the fcan- 
 diilous Livings in £'?^o;/^;;^. For 
 
73 Concermr^ ^ifloops. Chap. IIL 
 
 For what Heart can a poor Minifter, of Twenty, or 
 Thirty Pounds /'^rr Anninny have to Audy? (A Journeyman 
 Carpenter has more : Beiides, out of that, Synodals, Pro- 
 curations, Firft Fruits, Tenths, Dclapidations, Repairs, 
 Poor-Rates, Arms, AffelTments, and Taxes; be/ides a great 
 deal of Money, molt unconfcionably, to the rich Bifhop, or 
 his Secretary, for Ordination 5 feven or eight Pounds more 
 for Inrtitution, to the Bilhop j then to the rich Archdeacon 
 for Induction, ^c» though he feldom or never (lirs one Foot 
 about it, but he and h\s Regi^er agree to Pocket up the 
 Money ; Thefe preliminary Charges muft be paid out of the 
 poor Pittance, and Trade he cannot, Farm he may not, nay. 
 Beg he may not- Starve he may, exeept his great Task be 
 to ftudy how to get Bread, Drink, and Cloaths, and how to 
 keep out of his Creditor's Clutches, Serjeants and Bum- 
 Bail iffs j this is his greateft Study, and clofelt Concern: If 
 he can fpare a Sixpence or two to buy a printed Sermon, his 
 Study has Books enow ; whilfl the lazy fat Prebend and Ce- 
 remony-monger, with two Livings, a Prebendary, or Dean- 
 ery, and Archdeaconry, and two or three more (unfeen In'- 
 comes, Advantages, and Pluralities, drinks Wine in Bowls, 
 and is not affe£led with the Affliction of Jofeph^ but is as 
 red in the Gills as a Turkey-cock, or his fcarlet Hood, ever 
 fince he was made Doctor by MciJidamus^ or the Morrocco 
 Ambaffador. 
 
 Vertue and Learning always fhoot low, if there be not 
 feme high and glorious Mark fet to aim at. 
 
 This is certain 3 Would you have a good Army ? Pay them 
 well : A learned Miniftry ? Pay them well 5 but do not per- 
 mit ('as in fome Fifh-ponds) Ten or Twenty great Jacks to 
 devour all the fmall fry. 
 
 Hov^ would fuch a Primitive Epifcopacy, as I have fhown 
 here, reconcile the Difference betwixt Presbyterians and 
 Epifcoparians, and fo truly conftrue that Saying of Jerom^ 
 (Epijl. ad Evagr'nim) I knoiv not what a iifl.wp has more 
 than a ^Preshyter^ except Orfiaarion ; which is by our Bi- 
 ihops (for want of Numbers') now performed by the laying 
 on of the Hands of the Presbytery, in Conjunction with the 
 great Bi/hop, who yet knew nu more of the Matter, as to 
 the Fitnei's of the Perfbn ordainM, than the Biiliop himfelf, 
 viz. by Implicit Fa ch, in cculo Efifcopiy called iVIr. Arch- 
 deacon, or fome Surrogate, (as is ufual) in his Room. 
 
 The 
 
Ghap. III. Concerning Bijhops. y^- 
 
 The ApoftJe ^atil from jMiletns fent to EphefiiSy and 
 caljed the Elders of the Church, (^<5?i 20. 17.) which are 
 there called (^Fer. 28.) Bifliops. 
 
 Nay, Mr. Alede^ (in his Proof for Churches, in the S.e- 
 conci Century,) evidences, That no one Bifhop had more 
 than one Altar, and that one Ei/liop, and one Aitar, were 
 Correlates. 
 
 But Pride, Avarice, and the Pope (firft) made one Bi- 
 ihop ferve many Altars, by Curares and Journeymeii ; arjd, 
 in Requiral, they made the Pope the One gieut Bifhop of 
 Bifhops, {'Pa fa) as every bulky Bifhop is ufually Ityied in 
 our Eccleiiafticai Hiftories, a Pope, ^ater ^atriim 5 nay,' 
 the Pope himfelf called our great Bi (hop of Canterbury^ ai- 
 terms orhts 'Pupa, 
 
 And Mr. Fuller^ a great Friend to our Epifcopacy, con- 
 fefifes, (in his Hiflory of the Holy War, iil^. 2. c. 2. /. 45, 
 4.6.) that Bifhops were fet (of Old) too thick -or all to grow 
 (tall, and to fuch a Height, as now,) and Palejhue fed too 
 many Cathedral Churches, to have them generally fat. Lid- 
 da^ yanniia^ and jfoppa^ three Epifcopal Towns, were with- 
 in four Miles one of* another ; and furely,, many of their 
 Bifhops (to ufe Bifhop Langhanis Expreflion,) had high 
 Racks, but poor Mangers: Ay I This alone will breed tine 
 Quarrel againft all that I have faid ^ my lean Projefl flarves 
 greedy Avarice, that will be ready to eat me for my Pains. 
 Well, a5imn eft de Epifcopatu meOy this is not the Way for 
 me to get a Pair of dainty Lawn Sleeves : I have read my 
 own Doom, and may ufe the Words of Bifhop Chryfofloine^ 
 upon Heh. xiii. 17. 5 ya.^ oo^Q- ^ovittu KiiTa(reiei u7 rnv '^''vx^- 
 The Fear of that Threatning (as they that mull give an Ac- 
 count) makes my Soul to tremble continually ^ and the Pious 
 Learned Bifhops v/ill thank me heartily ; and th Te that are 
 other wife may live to amend.. Here has been a fad do with 
 fome of them in this poor Kingdom, and ail to keep up 
 that Ecclcfiaiiical Grandeur that God never made ; which 
 makes Chryfvflome fay, (in Hcb. Homil. 54.J I-isoond.ey hoiv 
 it is Pojjiblefoy a 'Bifho;^ to go to Heaven, or to be faird. 
 
 Read ferioufly his Homilies, in T'it. in Atf. in Ileb. and . 
 if thou haft Grace, thou wilt not drive fo for a Biflioprick j 
 and if thcu haft no. Gi dce^ thou art not fit for a Parifh ri eft, 
 to whom Bifhop How no part of Difcipline, Or Govern- 
 Olentj they are only to feed, not rule the Flock. But the 
 
 K learned 
 
74 Concerning ^ijhops. Chap. III. 
 
 learneci Fuller proceeds, — (after this Interruption,) *' Nei- 
 ** ther let it flaggtr the Reader, if in that Catalogue of 
 ** Tyrius we light on tnany Bifhops Seats, which are not to 
 *• be found in Mercatcr, 07'feIitiSy or any other Geogra- 
 ** pherj for fome of them were fuch poor Places, that they 
 ** were afhamed to appear in a Map, and fell fo much under 
 ** a Geographer's Notice, that they fell not under it :" No ? 
 But as little as it is, (pace tita^ quaint Mr. Fuller^) it is a 
 great Bull ^ for in that Age, Bj/hops had their Sets at poor 
 and contemptible Villages. 
 
 The Apoftles, ^atd and ^arnahas^ Ordained Elders 
 (Biihops) in every City, at A^itioch^ Iconiiim^ Derhe^ and 
 I.yftra 5 the Three lait are there called Cities, ABs 14. 
 
 j^^nioch was a great City, the Third in the World, but 
 in that almoft all the Chriftian Inhabitants could meet toge- 
 ther in one Place, to hear a Sermon, A6is 1 5. 44. And Ico- 
 niuf}i was but a fmall Village, L)'sStrabo^ lib. 12. -iroKiyvm'y 
 or 'TToKiyj)] [JLixey^: And T)erbe, only a Citadel in Jfcmria ^ 
 and Lydra^ only pc^mh, a Village in Ifattria too • and, as 
 for the Names of Bi/hops and Presbyters, or Elders, or Al- 
 dermen, they are, in Holy Writ, indifferently ufed, to fig- 
 nify one and the fame Grand Seignior. Why are the Aria?2S 
 fa condemned by the Orthodox, (as Thecdor. Syncd. ep, I. 2. 
 c. 8.) for not being contented with fmall Bifhopricks, and no 
 bigger than a Bi/liop might fuperintend in his own Perfon, 
 if Rapine be no Sin ? 
 
 It never was a good World, iince the Clergy and Laity 
 drove on two feveral Interefts, and two Bodies diftindV, and 
 made the Church one Thing, and the State another. If the 
 Clergy endeavour to keep the People in Subjection, and ua- 
 der their Girdle Canonical, by Impofltions, Canons, and 
 A6ls of Uniformity ^ endeavouring to Lord it over God's 
 Heritage the Laity ; no wonder that they ftruggle for Life 
 and Liberty, and that the Feuds and Animofities betwixt 
 them are Immortal : But they would die, ceafe, and de- 
 ccafe, if Clergymen fludy'd to reftore Sinners and erroneous 
 Perfons in the Spirit of Meeknefs. 
 
 Ay ; but the obftinate will not be {"o reftored 5 then let 
 him alonCj perhaps he knows more than thou dolt, that art 
 his Teacher : However, to bis o-W72 Mafler he fiandeth or 
 fallctl\ and thou, by givi?jg bim IVamingy haft delivered thy 
 Soul I as to Matters of Faith and Opinion 3 but as to evil 
 
 Works, 
 
Chap. III. Concerning ^ijhcps. 75- 
 
 Works, that is the Magiftrates Province and Care to correct 
 and punifli. 
 
 But if we cannot fright our Parifhioners, they will not care 
 a Pin for us. 
 
 No? (iTou fhould fay,) They do not care for you, nor love 
 you, becaufe you are fuch Scare- crows, and Bug-bears that 
 would be : If they fear you only, they'll never love you : Do 
 bur thou Jabour diligenrly in the Word and Do6lrine, and 
 fear not, but that all good Men will give thee, of all JVIen 
 living, (as the Apoftle fays) double Honour, which is due to 
 a Ruling Elder,^ much more to the Minifters that labour in 
 the Word and Do6trine 5 though with us, (quite contrary to 
 Scripture) the Ruling Elder (or Bifhop) is the Man of 
 double Honour amongft us, and the Paftor, or Teiiching 
 Elder, muft fcarce keep his Hat on in the Prefence of the 
 great Ruling Bi/hop j to whom the Apoftle, indeed, com- 
 mands us to give double Honour, but more efpecially to the 
 Minifters, or Pallors, that labour in the Word and Do^irine; 
 thofe are the moft Honourable, the moit Reverend jfiire 
 fDivi7Z0y if you believe the Holy Scriptures. But Fops mind 
 chiefly who fpeal^s, not what is fpoken, if it be the Word of 
 a Lord, it is with them more valued, and obey'd, than the 
 Word of the Lord. 
 
 Since therefore, to give a Rulijig Elder, orBifhop, more 
 Honour than a Paftor, or good Preacher, is exprefly againft 
 Holy Writ, (as aforefaid) look you to that 5 but that great 
 Scripture, which they bring to prove, that every City had a 
 Bifhop, and but one Bifhop, and every Bifhop had but one 
 City, you fee, by what has been faid, both thefe Aflertions 
 are (fufficiently proved to be) falfe 5 though we had no other 
 Inftance than in ST/r. i. 5. For this Caiife left I thee in Crete, 
 to Ordain Sijhcps^ kclta TrUty (that is) x«9' iKcccony ToA/r 5 
 Crete is an Ifland, that had in it a hundred Ciries, and was 
 therefore call'd i)iATou t6a/^, in the Reign of LeofopKnis the 
 Emperor ; and Anno 880, there were but twelve Bi/liops : 
 But at that Time, why fhould we imagine that they were all 
 Chrillians? when the Third great City of the Empire, Ayi- 
 tiochy where Difciples were firfl called Chriftians, and bigger 
 than any City, except Rome and Alexandria, yet had no 
 more Chriftians in it, than one Church will hold, A6}s 15. 
 44. Nay, Jeriifaleyn (where our Lord was crucified) had 
 io few Chriftians Forty Years after, at the Deftru^tion there, 
 K 3 of 
 
7<S CoiKerning ^iflocps. Chap. Ill, 
 
 of, that ail tbe Chriftians being warned by God to depart, 
 did depart to ^Teila 5 a poor ijttle Village, fays Etifehius^ 
 {lib. 5. c, 5.) held them all. 
 
 But we will take it for granted, that T'lttn Ordain'd in 
 every City (in the Ifland or Crete) a Bifliop, namely, a 
 Hundred : And, which is not at all likely, that all were 
 Chril-kians; (for, 'till Ct?;;y^^;;r/;;£''s Time, one Church held 
 al the Chriitians in Romt^ 5 arid one great Church in Alex- 
 andria held all the Chriftians there, as their Bjfhop Atha- 
 iiafins gives an Account in his Epiliie to Conjlantius, the 
 Son of Co77jianti77e^) yet Hcylm^ in his Cofiiicg. />. 265. fays, 
 There are in Crete but Two Hundred and fcven Parifhes : 
 Then, by that Accoutir, the great Bifhops will get but a 
 Plurality, two Parifhes for their Dioceffes. 
 
 And ever fince ih.t, Bifhops firfl: monopolized fo many 
 Parifhes, all u ^der their Eccleiial^ical Government, there 
 has been no Eccefiauical Government at all, but a meer 
 Anarchy and Confufmn, as at this D^^y, and has b^en the 
 Occafion ot fetnng up fo many Independent Churches, to 
 take Care ot ihemfelves and one another, for whom the 
 Ruling Bifliop could not poflibly take care 5 engroffing all 
 Governmcnr, we have none at alK but fome filly Face of it, 
 in a poor Surrogate and Regifter, that minds little elfe than 
 to finger the Pence, and fhear the poor Clergy and Church- 
 Wardens twice a Year in Vifitations, ^c. Deliver your Purfe 5 
 poor Sheep efcape better than we j they are clipp'd but once 
 a Year, and the Maimer that feeds them has the Wool, but 
 they that /hear us, poor Lambs, take our Wool, but feed 
 us not 5 they have it for nothing, and their great Revenues 
 will notfatisfy. 
 
 Let them fliow us one fuch Diocefan Bifhop as we have 
 cot in Ej?glaT2d, in the beit and pureft Times^ or one Bi- 
 iliop that ever durif pretend to govern the Church by Im- 
 plicit Faith in others, for the firlt three Hundred Years, or 
 smy Thing like it, in Holy Scripture • or any Reafon for it 5 
 or any Poffibility to difcharge th .t heavy Charge 5 and I'll 
 iUike out Avarice and Ambition, as the gre .t Caufe, and 
 furrogate a better Reafon in the Room, and be their Profe- 
 lite: Nay, I'll {loop lower, I'll condefcend to be my Lords 
 the BiHiops Chaplain, and Apologift/ 
 
 But if all their Skill cannot do it, then it is high Time to 
 recant and repent, that Iniquity may not be our Ruin j and 
 
 to 
 
Chap. III. Concerning "BiJJoops, 77 
 
 to reftore the Lamb Four fold ^ and becaufe rich 2)ives had 
 no more Pity of his Brethren, whom the rich Diocefan calls 
 (according to the Style in the Primitive Church) Revereiid 
 brother, and "Brother^ but looks over the Head of his Bro- 
 ther Elder, or Presbyter, as if a Conge d'Eflire had made 
 him a Saul^ and higher by the Head, when he only ftruts, 
 (being rich) and ftands a Tip-toe, but is not a better Man, 
 nor a better Scholar than he was before. 
 
 It m ly hinder his Worth and Learning (rather) by Avo- 
 cations, running from Ordinations, to the Houfe of Lords, 
 thence to the Court, thence to the Council Chamber, thence 
 £0 Confirmations, thence to Viiitations, ^c. If thefe do not 
 hinder a Man's Study and Improvement, I have loft my 
 Aim. 
 
 Let them but read Mr. Saxtcr's learned Pook of Epifco- 
 pacy, or Archbi/hop Cranmer's Opinion of Ordijiation ; 
 this latter a learned and holy Martyr, the former a moft 
 learned and pious Confeflbr : Or let them but read the New 
 Teftamenr, and there is little or no Difference at all, betwixt 
 a Presbyter, or Elder, and Bifhop 5 what in one Verfe is. 
 called Presbyter, in the next is called Bilhop ; as Bethlehem 
 the Town is the fame with Bethlehem the City aforefard :. 
 And a Parifh iignified the fame with Diocefe. 
 
 The Golden Key always gets Abfolution, which in Gof- 
 pel Times, and the Primitive Times, never was purchafed 
 but with Tears, in the midft of the Congregation. 
 
 The Council of Sardica, in the fourth Century, A?27io 947, 
 faw this devilifh Mifcbief coming trowling into the Church, 
 and a perpetual Strife and Conteft about the Borders and 
 Limits, as litigious as now at jD 61 or s - Comrno }j s ^^ -Sibout the 
 Probate of Wills, and about Letters of Adminiftration ; 
 namely. Who fhall get the Money? Whether the Bifliop's, 
 or Archdeacon's Courts of that Diocefe where the Man died, 
 or elfe a Prerogative Cafe, by the l^o?2a notahila^ of the Value 
 of five or ten Pounds ? Old Doings there were : Wherefore 
 the faid Council made a Decree, (Can. 6.) ** That no Bi- 
 ** /hop fhould be made in a Village, or little Town, for 
 ** which one Presbyter might well fuffice ^ becaufe it is not 
 ** neceflfary to make a Bi (hop's See there, left the Name and 
 " Authority be render'd contemptible." There were Three 
 Hundred and Forty Bifhops there, (which exceeded the 
 Number of the General Council of iV/cr, and they took care 
 
 fcr 
 
jS Concerning ^BifJ^ops. Chap. III. 
 
 for the Honour of their own Function,) yet they add, ** That 
 " when the People in a Town fhall grow fo numerous (a 
 " Hundred and Fifty was the common Stint for a Presbyter's 
 " Care and Cure) then that Village deferves to have a Bi- 
 " fhop, and ought to have one." 
 
 By this Rule, London had need have more than Forty 
 Bifhops ^ and this would whet Indultry, and make Men 
 ftudy to be Workmen that need not to be afham'd, left the 
 People ihould never chufe them, (as of Old they did ;) 
 ■whereas now, if they can but buy an Advowfon, or next 
 Avoidance, or a Patron, ^c. let the People go whiftle, they 
 are their Feeders and Paftors in fpite of their Teeths. 
 
 But how can Men reli/h what is cramm'd down their 
 Throats, (as Capons are ferved,) or given them with a Horn, 
 like a Drench ? This makes an immortal Feud and Difguft, 
 generally, betwixt the Phyfick'd Patients, and their Eccleii- 
 aftical (not Fathers, but) Farriers, that force open their 
 Mouths, and pour down what they pleafe. Thus are the 
 People treated like Brutes, rather than Men and Chriftians, 
 they are like to be good ones j But what cares the Reading 
 Don of the Pulpit ? He cries, I am inftituted and indudled, 
 come to your Parifh Church, the Horfe and the poor Afs 
 muft graze where he is tied ; I'll {qqA, you in fpite of your 
 Teeth : Ay, and ftarve us too, in fpite of our Teeth. 
 
 There is neither Reafon nor Religion for this : If he were 
 never fo good a Phyfician of Souls, all he fays is accepted 
 with Prejudice, artd difguftful 5 for let his Potion be never 
 {b wholelbme, it goes againft any wife Man*s Stomach to be 
 drench'd. This is the Fault (alio) of our Conftitution, and 
 wonderful are the Inconveniencies that follow this, as Ani- 
 mofitics betwixt Minifter and People, Suits at Law about 
 his Maintenance, for they pay as they hear, only fo much as 
 they are forced to • and as for the Care of their Souls, they'll 
 truft him no more than they will their Bodies with a Phyfi- 
 cian of another Man's choofing. 
 
 Patrons will lofe nothing by parting with their Advowfon*s, 
 not a Farthing honeftly : Yes, you'll fay, he may make it a 
 Portion for his Daughter, or to his Waiting Maid, to a poor 
 Parfon that will leap at her. 
 
 But this is the worft of Symonies, and fuch never thrives 
 no more than other Symonifts, a Curfe attends it, and blafts 
 all 5 this is Smock Symony: In other Symonies, Money makes 
 
 the 
 
Chap. Ill: Concerning ^ijhops. 7^ 
 
 the Mare to go ; but in this, the Jade makes the Parfon 
 ride, that muft otherwife have gone on Poor. 
 
 Befides, the moft of the Livings in £;;^/^;;// are in the 
 King's Gift, or the Chancellor's, or the Eifhop's, or the 
 Univerfities 5 few have private Patrons, except Noblemen, 
 Gentlemen and Papiiis^ the former are all too noble to coin 
 their Advcwfons, and the laft, the Papifts, are very unfit, 
 nay, they are, by Law, incapacitated after Convi6tion. 
 
 It is certain, that wherever the Carcafe is, there will the 
 Eagles he gathered together-^ every Man that is at a Lofs for 
 Preferment, or for greater Preferment, will be fure to en- 
 quire. Which is the Way thither? And if Symony, Smock 
 Symony, or a Ceremony, be the Way and the Door, thither 
 the Clergy make Application, it is their great Aim and Study; 
 thence comes the common Ignorance, Lazinefs, dead and 
 dull Preaching, or rather Reading, becaufe it is eafy, moft 
 in Requeft with the great Dons, that can do no better, and 
 is therefore more acceptable than the beft. 
 
 But if you make Merit the only Way to Preferment, then 
 you will have a pious, learned, loving, and lovely Clergy, 
 that will go Hand in Hand, and Heart in Heart, with their 
 People, and nothing thought too good for them • but now, 
 what they get is only got with Scrambling, in all Places, efpe- 
 cially in Pluralities. 
 
 By Pluralities, I do not mean two or three Pari/hes, for one 
 PariOi may be ten Times more a Plurality, (as St. Andrew's 
 Holhom) than twenty Norfolk, or JSJex Livings in fome 
 Places. 
 
 And I wi/li, that the Right Reverend Clergyman, who 
 was fo fagacious fas fome little Animals are,) to leave the 
 falling Houfe, and therefore left his Seat in the Hioh Com- 
 miilion Court, left if he ftay'd any longer, it had fallen up- 
 on his Head, would alio be as fagacious as to leave his in- 
 confiftenr Pluralities. What Sen^e is it for a Bifliop to be a 
 Deacon ? For the due joining of (which two) Words in Con- 
 ftru^lion, Siibi72telligitzir, Avaritia, 
 
 And (by way of Parentheiis, now I have named that 
 High CommifTion Courr, I cannot but remember one Word 
 ufedbymyold Friend, Lord Jcffery, foon aiter, in my 
 Lord of London\ Cafe, repeated, viz. Raptim, we do all 
 Things here (quoth he) Raptim, ra/hly, in haile, without 
 thinking, without Coniideration, without Writing, without 
 
 ib 
 
.8o Concerning ^ijhops. Chap.IIL 
 
 fo much as a Clerk, or Rcgifter : Ay, the wifer, for litcra 
 Scripta Manet, (but enough of that,} and of Eifhops, at 
 prefent. 
 
 CHAP. IV. 
 
 Of Ordination. 
 
 Never could underfland any thing by Ordina- 
 tion, but what Archbifhop Cranmer makes 
 it, a fcrting apart Bifliops^ aj> aConllablc, a 
 Juftice, or a Judge, is Ordained for fome 
 fpecial Work: And the greater and more 
 facred the Work is, the greater and more fa- 
 cred is the Ordination. 
 
 The Church, the whole Church did this in the Gofpci 
 Times, and Jong after.^ fo fays Jw^row, Requiritur in Sacer- 
 dote Ordinando ^etiara ppidi pnefentia ^ the People's Pre- 
 fence is neceffary when Men are Ordain'd 5 not as here, by 
 a Mockery ©f this ancient Cuftom, Ordaining Men in a Con- 
 oregation, who are as ignorant as the Bifliop, in reference to 
 their Perfon, Converfations, Learning, or Abilities : But, in 
 the purefl and primitive Times, they were always Ordain'd 
 by the Church, as well as in the Church, and fometimes by 
 laying on of Hands of the Presbytery alone, as Tittts j and 
 fometimes by the whole Church, as 'Barnabas and Satit 5 the 
 laying on of Hands was only a Jewifl? Cuftom, or Ceremo- 
 ny, pointing out the Perfon Ordain'd ^ it was not the Hands 
 did any thing, none are fo fooliih to think that, except Vcr- 
 tue could go out by touching 5 as when our Saviour touched 
 the Woman, (not willingly) which had an Iflue oi Blood, 
 none are fo blafphemoufly iilly, as to pretend that: Indeed, 
 the Sign is taken often for the Thing fignified 5 as, For this 
 Caiifcbow I the Knee to the Father ^ and fine fta-atihus non 
 (laret mtmdns 5 and, negleB not the Gift of God that ^isoas 
 "given thee by the laying on of the Hands of the 'Presbytery ^ 
 by all wkich Ceremonies of kneeling, (landing, and laying 
 on of Hands, is only meant Prayers made when they were 
 
 in 
 
Chap. IV. Of Ordination. 8i 
 
 in that Pofture : Now who can imagine- then that the Pre- 
 lence of a Bifhop is more needful than the Prefence of the 
 Presbyters, or People ? Except he could pray more heartily, 
 and more fpiritually than the rell. 
 
 Which he ufually was fuppofed to ^o^ becaufe his Worth 
 (not his Friends, Relations, Money, or Kindred,) advanced 
 him, in Gofpel Tjmes, and in the Primitive Times. When 
 'Timothy was Ordain'd a Bifliop, the Presbyters only did it 5 
 except Presbyters and Bifhops be only two Names for one 
 Perfon, as undoubtedly they are : After-Times did diftin- 
 guifh them, How ? only by Precedency, as the Chairman of 
 a Committee, the Speaker, he that in Seffions gives the 
 Rule of Court ^ but no better Men, nor other Charadter, 
 than his other Brethren the Juflices, or Members, except 
 for Order-fake, Precedency. 
 
 And therefore for Order- fake, the Bifliop with the Pres- 
 byters, or the Presbyters, or (in Default) any Church Mem- 
 ber, or the whole Church, might have laid on Hands, as 
 well as have pray'd at an Ordination.- Thus when the Holy 
 Ghoft had chofen ^^^^/and "Barnabas^ they had their Mif- 
 fion from the whole Church, ABs 13. 2, 5. Jerom^iVi^Chry- 
 foftome agree, that there is no Difference betwixt a Presbyter 
 and Bifhop, but only Ordination 5 and that was by Cuftom, 
 as the beii Man, not as the fole Man j he never could law- 
 fully Ordain, but in his own Church, and his own Church 
 Members only, and by the Confent of the rsft of the Mem- 
 bers : For Bifhops, for three Hundred Years after Chrijly 
 had no more Souls in their Dioceies than they were intimately 
 and familiarly acquainted with : This makes Chryfofloyue 
 fay, that notwithlianding the Cuflom of a Bifliop's Prefence 
 at Ordination, yet betwixt Presbyters and Bifhops there was 
 little or noDiflFerence, {Homit. 11. in i Tim,) t ^ohv to ^j^zchv. 
 very little Difference ; and in Scripture Times nothing at ail. 
 \Theophile£i calls it, ferme nihil^ next to nothing • namely. 
 Precedency 5 but the Church, in Scripture, or the Faithful, 
 Ordain'd as many Bifliops as was needful ; and may not 
 Presbyters Ordain now, without a Bifhop's Prefence, as well 
 as of old in Scripture Times, or as well as Bi/hops do Or- 
 dain Archbifhops and Metropolitans ? 
 
 But, in Holy Writ, if any had the Precedency, the Pres- 
 byter had it; The Presbyters that are amongft yon (faith 
 St. \Pauly) I exhort^ -who am alfo a ^reshyter^ i Tct. 5. i. 
 
 L ro 
 
$2 Of Ordination. Cliap. IV. 
 
 no gre?»ter Titles of Honour can be given, than what Age 
 and Nature gives ^ thence conies Sieur, Monfieur, Sire, and 
 Sir, or Father •. Madam, a diminutive of Dame, or Dam, 
 Maiam, nn Dam, or Mother , and Age being honourable, 
 the grcateil Title of Honour is thence derived, Senior, Se- 
 . nicrc, Seignior, Grand Seniore, in Sfau'ifJi^ Italian^ and 
 LifJgttci Franka : Prei^byter amongft the Greeks^ Elder, or 
 Alderman, or Earl, (all is one Derivative from Seniority,) fo 
 that if People be ambitious of a Name, Presbyter, or Earlj 
 Alderman, or Earl of the Church, is far before Overfeer, 
 or Bifhop ; whofe Diocefe was, atfirfi, no bigger than that 
 he might eafily cverfee it, or fee over it^ now it is monftrous. 
 
 The Burden of a Bifliop is fo great, and the Danger 
 greater in Male-Adminiftration, that Cbryfoftome (HomiL 
 nit. 53.^. 13. in Heh. i;. 17.) fays, t) Kkyiri^ ^. a.yovirvei^ 
 arvJ'vyQV 9'/&i Kstrct tw$ ttvTt yA^a,Kii^ j What fay'it ? Does he 
 watch for Souis ? Yea, and at his Peril too 3 Does not the 
 horrid Hazard threaten his Head ? 
 
 But what cares fome Men for the Thunder of Heaven's 
 Vengeance, till it fall upon them ? They are ilouter than 
 thofe two atheiflicai Emperors, T'llerius and Caligula^ they 
 would run under Ground, in Vaults and Caves, when it 
 thunder'd : Eut fome are as unrelenting as the High-Prie(t 
 c.f Rome) called jfulizts Ccefar, that, notwithftanding that he 
 read Divinity Le«fl:ures in RofUCy to the People, was the 
 greateilRobberer and Murderer in the World, and facrificed 
 to his atnbitious and greedy Rapacity, the braveft Common- 
 wealth that ever the Sun faw ; but he fell in the Height of 
 hisjolliiv, and fo ihail all miferably, whofe Portion is fas 
 they dciire) in this Life only. 
 
 in /l-;ort, the Difxcrence betwixt Presbyter and Bifhop, in 
 Holy \Yr;t, is nothing at all ; no, not in Ordination : As in 
 j^frica. Presbyters did ordain, and fo now, (at this Day,) in 
 Ger'/nai;y, France^ and in the moft Proteftant Churches : 
 And muft we rchifmatize from Scripture, and from all the 
 Protef^ants in the World, to follow a Cuftom they got into 
 the Greek Church : (Forty Guftoms they had befides this, 
 contrary to Scripture Cuftoms-) Cbryfoftome being a Greek 
 Bifhop^ and Hiercvi, though writing in Latin^ yet dwell- 
 ing and ccnverling amongft the Greeks^ but would never 
 ■-.ake fo bold a Venture as to be a Bifhop, in thofe Times, 
 m the fourth Century, when the Task was forty Times eafi- 
 
 erj 
 
Chap. IV. Of Ordination.. 83 
 
 er, becaufe the Province, or Diocefe, was forry Times Jefs; 
 nay, a hundred Tinits Jefs than now in England and Wales : 
 Beiides KxrctrroKh (make the moft on't) \s but per Civiratcs^ 
 along the Cities, which being a hundred in CrcTc^ and the 
 ParilTies but two Hundred and feven, and not a tenth Pare 
 Chriftians, this KctTcfTroKh is only iiilily coniirued to make 
 fuch Havock as it has, both in the State, and all true Devo- 
 tion. 
 
 Yet Men drink Healths to the Profperify of the Church 
 of England ^ if they mean hereby a good Health to the Pro- 
 teftant Head of the Church, and the Proteftant Members, 
 (the only true Meaning) with all my Heart, let it pais. 
 
 But if by the Church of England^ they fcandalouOy mean 
 thereby only the great Diocefans, that cannot pofTibly watch 
 over Souls, except by implicit Faith in the Black-Guard of 
 Apparitors, Sumners, Regiders, Procters, Canonids, Lay- 
 Vicars, Vicar-Generals, Commiflaries, Officials, Surrogates, 
 (or I do not know who) at the General Rendezvous, and 
 Head Quarters at ^oEiors-Commons -j What an Aiiront is. 
 this to the true Proteftant Church of E72gland ? 
 
 I grant, that fhe Papifls have all this whole ragged Regi- 
 ment, and by the fame Names too, and for the iarae Ser- 
 vice in their Popifh Mufter-Roll. 
 
 Yes, you'll fay, our Litany is in Engllfh^ the Mafs Litany 
 in Latin ; and the Saints are omitted ^ and T'e Dcura is fung 
 in Englijh^ or half jabber'd over unintelligibly, after the 
 firft Leflbn 5 We praife thee^ O God ' We ack?W'ivledge thee 
 to he the Lord ^ All the Earth doth wot'JJ^ip thee, &c. All 
 the Earth ? I wifh it did 5 but in my little Travels, 1 know 
 it is falfe • for more than half the Earth are Infidels to this 
 Day : There we are out of the Truth, whatever be the 
 Tune J And why do all the People lay this Verfe ? There's 
 lio Rule, no Rubrick for ir. 
 
 But I am quite tired, it is endiefs to find Fault ; I had 
 much rather fee it amended : Yhe Common prayer Book i^ 
 the more amiable to me, as old Gold is more accepcable than 
 new, it has been long tried, and has endured the Teil pretty 
 well, which is more than can be faid oFany other Defultory 
 Prayers, that, like new Guineas, may many Times be coun- 
 terfeit J but as the moft tried Gold will well endure, fo it 
 sifiay {bmeumes need the Refiner's lire. 
 
 L 2, But' 
 
§4 Of Ordination. Chap. IV'. 
 
 But as for the faid Black -Guard of Sumner^, Surrogates, 
 Apparitors, [nformers, Regifters, ^c. that live by the Sins 
 of the People, it is as much beyond the Art of Man to mend 
 a broken Cobweb • and when you have uftd your utmoll 
 Skill, it will not quit Coft : I have fludied the Poirtt, and 
 yet am I not one Jot the better Artift at it, than I was feveri 
 Years ago. 
 
 Never was there fuch Church DifcipMne, and fuch Eccle- 
 fiaftical Fellows to manage it, in the whole Chriftian World, 
 (except amongft the Papifts,) they indeed have the like 
 Harpies, but every private Prieft there is more than a Bi/hop 
 here, can take Confeffions, fearch their Entrails, and enjoin 
 Pennance. 
 
 And in Italy^ at this Day, they have many Dioceffes that 
 are not half fo big, nor by half fo rich and populous as the 
 Parifhes of St. Andre'vo's Holhorn^ St. Margaret's Weftmin- 
 fter, St. Martins^ Stepney^ St. Giles^ and many others ^ 
 yet not any one of thefe is thought a Charge great enough 
 tor one Ungle Shoulder under the Bifhop 5 whereas good St. 
 Aiigiifti72e knew not how to difcharge alone the Epifcopal 
 Work of little HippOy without Co adjutors 5 and in the little 
 Territory adjoining, there were many Bifhops ; as, one at 
 the Caftle Syn'ica^ near Hippo^ another at the Caftle Fiiffiil^i 
 adEcclefi<e Hippmienjis ^areeciam (Jitgtift. de Civitate 2)ei 
 L 11, c.%. Epifl. 16 \. Epifl. 6^.) Ecce LiTerim Epifcopos 
 fioflroSy (jiii fii7it in Regione Hipponenji^ iihi a vefiris tanta 
 Tnala patimiir con^uemte : Affemble our Bi/hcps that are in 
 the Territory of Hippo^ Sic. BiHiops that had a City to go- 
 vern, did not ufe to Bi/liop it in the Territory adjoining 5 
 the Bifhop of Rome never pretended that his Diocefe of 
 Rome reached beyond the City 5 for at this Day there are 
 Forty EiHiops in the Territory of Rome 5 and of old, there 
 were Sixty Nine Bifhops there, and not one of their Dio- 
 cefes is fo great, fo populous, and fo rich as St. j^ndreiv's 
 Hoi born. 
 
 This which I have faid is enough to pious Bi/liops; but 
 to fuch as are given to filthy Lucre, nothing will fatisfy but 
 more Mammon, more, more. Even Pope Z^o himfelf con- 
 demns fuch Bifhops, faying, tDominari magis qimm Cojijh- 
 lerefiihditis qii<ertmt ^ They make it their Bufinefs to do- 
 mineer, but n©t to confult the Welfare of thofe under their 
 
 Charge. 
 
Chap. IV., Of Ordination. 85 
 
 Charge. Pope Gregory appointed Twelve Biiliops in tl\e 
 County of Torky Refponf.ad^, Interrog.) 
 
 Surely our Bi/hops and great Do6lors have contemptible 
 Thoughts of the Common-prayers, as a mean, underling 
 Office, or elfe, why do they put mean underling Curates, 
 and Singing Men (Sadlers, or Coblers, that can fing, and 
 therefore^ made Deacons, to ferve to read Prayers, and flng 
 them to fome Tune 5 and ?s fcon as that Drudgery is over, 
 then away goes the Queriiler to his Shop,) whilft the Do6lor 
 and the Bi/hop referve themfelves for the topping Pulpit, if 
 they fay any thing, except "Benedicite^ leaving the Common- 
 prayer to Readers 5 fome School-boys, not yet emancipated 
 from School-dames, will read more audibly and diftinftly 
 than many of them In /hort, the Common prayer (if 
 mended, y will ferve for a Crutch to the Lame 5 and though 
 I (bleffed be God) need none, yet the Crutch muft not be 
 thrown out of the Church 5 for then you niuft throw the 
 Parfon after it, ^generally; all* Eiigland over. The Com- 
 mon-prayer Book ? Oh ! 'tis all in all 5 it is a Crutch te the 
 lame Parfon, Eyes to the blind Parfon, and puts Words into 
 the Mouth of the (otherwife) dumb Parfon ^ nay, it is Ears 
 too to the deaf Diiciples, and mimick Ceremony-monger, 
 the very Oracoufticon of the Spirit 5 therefore, here's my 
 Hand to it, it /hall have my Vote, for my poor Brethren's 
 fake ; upon Condition though, that it be not cramm'd down 
 other Men's Throats, that need not be fo fed, but can chew 
 what they fwallow 5 and alfo upon Condition, that we do no 
 longer exclude a great Part of Holy Scripture, to maJce 
 room {or Tol/U and his Dog, I mean, the Jpocrypha. 
 
 Have we not Apocryphal and unfcriptural Ceremony- 
 mongers enow, that fill up the Steeples and high Places in 
 the Church, like a great crack'd Bell, that is good for no- 
 thing but to fill up the Vacancy ; but murt Apocryphal Books 
 too juftle the Holy Scriptures alfo out of the Church ? You'll 
 fay. The Mafs-book did it before we did it; Yea, that's 
 true J fo a Popilh Intereft alio poffibly brought this great 
 crack'd Bell into a Proteftant Steeple; (What does it do 
 there ?) there it hangs 5 but had never been hang'd fo high, 
 but that it was crack'd, and good for nothing, but to oive 
 an unintelligible and jarring Sound, to keep out a better; 
 and in room of a better, it will ferve well enough to make 
 up the Number of the Yea's and the Nose. 
 
 Weli 
 
S5 Of Ordination. Chap. IV 
 
 Well may tnis crack'd Ceremony monger dread a wife 
 and a pious, and honeft EngliJJj Parliament, more than he 
 fears either God or the Devil, more than H^cn, or Hell 5 
 left they fpy this Church Cobweb, (thouglr it hang aloft,) 
 and fweep it down, or nev/ caft this ufelefs crack'd Bell. , 
 
 Thus have 1 run him to an unavoidable Driemma, one of 
 the Horns whereof muft gore my Ceremony monger 5 for if 
 he obftinately perfift in his irrational and illegal Ceremonies, 
 the Law and the next Jury deprives him by his own cele- 
 brated Aft, the Kdi of Uniformity, whicU condemns all 
 Ceremony-mongers, and all Ceremonies, not contain'd in the 
 Common prayer Book. 
 
 But if he recant, abhor, repent and for.fake his illegal and 
 Popifli-like Ceremonies, we have got the Day, he is con- 
 verted to be a good Man ; and will then voluntarily relin- 
 quifh that Burden, which no Mortal can bear, for fear of 
 the Torments eternal, which none can ht?.x j che Saying of 
 St, Chryfoflome {\n Ueb. 15.1*7. HomiLulr. 34..J will pene- 
 trate his hard Heart and .feared Confcience, BifA'fy.a,^et h rio<x, 
 Ir? T&^v A^yjjv]du> (Tc^bmcn^ ike. I wo?2der in my Heart (fays he) 
 hoisi it is ■poffible for a chief SifJoop in the Church to iefaved, 
 &c. The High Prieft Aaroii faid, Nolo Eptfcofiari • Mofes. 
 alfo was as loth to come into the Collar 5 Send by the Hand 
 of "whom thou iviit feiid^ ffaid hej in a Pet, to God Al- 
 mighty ; forcfeeing the dreadful Burden. St. Chryfoftome^ 
 in that Homily, fays in Efteft, concerning a great Bi/hop, 
 as one faid of an Executor, mz. If 1 had a Mind to fend a^^ 
 Man to the TicviU I "vootild make him my Executor ^ a-ndif 
 I had a Mind to fend a Man to the Devil^ I 'yoould make. 
 
 him a great Lord Blefs me 1 that vain ambitious Man 
 
 fhottld hope to climb Heaven by that very Sin of Haughti- 
 r\Q£s and Pride, which made Lucifer a Devil. 
 
 But nothing is here propofed but what is eafy, good for all, 
 found, pure, primitive, and prafticable, as well as profitable, 
 and hurts no body ; no, not the great Diocefan, and ileepy 
 fat Prebend, in their prefent Incumbencies and PofTeffions, 
 if they can (with a fife Confcience^ continue them. 
 
 For St. Chryfojlome is bolder with fuch Bi/liops as are Co 
 addifted to filthy Lucre, that he quite incapacitates them 
 for the Place, (Hovdil. 2. in Ep, ad l^at» c. i.j ^5^/ ta 
 ;i^p «//*>' yj^>^-^l<>'V, ^^' '^T^'^ ct^/fic^f©-, hie titi?2dignus Sacerdo- 
 
 ' tl9 
 
Chap. IV. Of Ordination. 87 
 
 tio eft removendtis 5 let him be depofed,. fnay, degraded,) 
 as unworthy of that holy Fun6tion. 
 
 Some Repairs, of Nccefliiy, muft be done Cas the Wif- 
 dom of a pious King and Parliament fhaJl think meet,) upon 
 thofe that have by their filly, illegar, and foppi/li, and Po- 
 piHi-like Conftitutions and Ceremonies, reduced all true De- 
 votion to a mcer Pharifaical and outfide Superftition, ("which 
 is alfo very filly and nonfenfical) to boot. 
 
 Does not St. Cyprian tell us, (Ep^ <^8.) That in the Ordi- 
 nation of SabhzuSy the Bifhopdclc was conferral upon him 
 by the Suftiage ("that is, the Votej of the whole Fraternity, 
 for Brethren,) and by the Judgment of the Bifhops that 
 met together in our Prefence ? ^>c* 
 
 That Exhortation in the Common prayer Book, before 
 the Communion, concerning the quieting of a troubled 
 Confcience, (^when the guilty Perfon thinks himfelf not qua- 
 lified fufficiently for the receiving that bleflcd Sacrament,^ 
 gives the Minitter Power of Abfolution 5 that is, Power of 
 the Keys, the Church Keys, (good Reafon !j of his own 
 Churchy whereby I judge, that every Minifter has Power 
 to loofe what any Regifter, or Bifliop, or Surrogate, has 
 bound, if he think fit 5 though they aifo have bound the Spi- 
 rit down to Hell, or his Body afterwards lies bound (for 
 want of Abioluiion) in a Jail : I think a Minifter has Power 
 flike Orpheus) to fetch him back from Satan^ but not frorai 
 the Jailor: Is not this to give the Power of the Keys to a 
 Minifter by the Statute, or Common- prayer Book, which 
 the common Praftice, . or Canons, do not allow or admit ? 
 This is to give and take again 5 this is to give we do not know 
 what -J this is to give the great Bi/hop more Eyes than thofe 
 fame large Eyes, caij'd Archdeacon's 5 this is to give Mini- 
 fters that Power that Chrifl gives them, to Rule aad Feed 5 
 for <To///izr5^$, in i^et- 5. 2. fignifies both Feed and Rule, 
 and one as much as the other, God has join'd them together, 
 and woe be to him that feparatcs thofe whom God hath 
 join'd together, only to gratify his own ambitious and avari- 
 cious Claw, that grafps more than it can poffibly hold. 
 
 ^ Never could any Bifhop, or Prieft, (with whom I ever yet 
 did difcourle the Point, either here, or beyond Sea,) alledge 
 any Reafon, why the Presbyters /liould not be Helps in Go- 
 vernment, rather than filly and rafcally Regifters, Sumners, 
 OiHcials, Canonifts, ^c, except that the Work being divided 
 
 amongd 
 
gg Of OrdiriattoiL Chap. IV. 
 
 amongft his Brethren, in Time, the Wages would be divided 
 alfo 5 wherejs the other Free hooters, .Ecclefiaftical, or ra- 
 ther Mungrels, (party per-palej Lay-Elders,, wen*, no Pur- 
 chafe, no Pay, and, perhaps, gave Money too, to purchafc 
 fuch a Spiritual Letter of Mart, ay, and get good Booty too 
 by the Venture. 
 
 In Ihort, fuch monfl:rou{ly bulky Bi/hopricks (as now we 
 have) has formerly been found too dangeroufly big for the 
 "King and Kingdom, as well as uneafy for the People. 
 
 Methinks it looks like ^Tom of Lincolvy (the great Cathe- 
 dral Bell there,) too big for Ufe, or to call Men to Church ; 
 it would well make Ten good and ufeful Bells, (if well cait,> 
 whereas now it ferves for nothing but a Show ^ and only the 
 Name rings all the Kingdom over, but good for nothing but 
 to be gazed at, and admired (by Women and Fools) for its 
 huge Dimenfions j and is certainly a too much over grown 
 Thing : Since the Days of the Martyr Ignatius^ Bifhop of 
 j^iitiochy and Contemporary with fome of the Apofiles, 
 when he fays. Every Altar fhould have a ^ifJoop^ meaning 
 (certainly) a Presbyter, or fomething very little different : 
 Nay, (in his Epifi. ad Smyr.) he lays, It is not la-wful^ 
 ivithout (hi Bijhop, to Baptize^ or hold a Love Feafly or 
 any Ecdefiaflical AjTemhly^ Sic. Certainly then, a Bifhop 
 was not Omniprefent, or an Ubiqusteriany or elfe tiothing 
 like to the Bifhop's Office (at this Day) amongft us per- 
 form 'd. 
 
 Shall we call thofe feparate Congregations Schifms from 
 the Catholick Church, when they" keep to the Primitive 
 Rule from which our Conftitution has fwerved ? What Vote 
 Avarice and Ambition had in making fuch a Conftitution, 
 by Precedent from the Hierarchy of Rome, let others judge, 
 I fhall not dogmatically determine. 
 
 But (fome fay,) though the Bifhop cannot fee from the 
 Cathedral what is done all over the County, Shires, and 
 Towns of his Diocefe, yet he can ride about, and go the 
 Rounds, and viiit them j and fo he is bound to go or ride 
 once in three Years. 
 
 And what Improvement is made by fuch Trienial Vifits, 
 in any thing except his Purfe, and the Thing he calls Con- 
 firmation ? Can he poffibly be a fufHcient Shepherd and Bi- 
 fliop of Souls, or Phylician of Souls, that has not fo much 
 a& fpoke with (or vifued) one of a thoafand in his Dioceie? 
 
 ^ Nay, 
 
Ctiap. IV^ Of Ordination. 8p 
 
 ]^ay, grant that he do nothing oX^c all the Year (if it be 
 not a Parliament Year,) but vifir his Flock, we'll grant him 
 for every Town, Village, or Pari/h, two or three Days in one 
 Tear, and by that Account, in that two Days, he cannot have 
 examined above the tenth Part, or Tythe of the Parifh, nor 
 heard their Caufes and Complaints, for above one tenth Part, 
 and what /hall become of the other Nine ? Nay, What /hall 
 become of that fame tenth Part, 'till the next Year's Vifit ? 
 the Patient may be dead in that Time, as well as ail th^ 
 Nine, that get no Relief from his Epifcopal Hands. 
 
 Oh ! But other Curates, Journeymen, and Apparitor5,^t\ 
 do the Work for him : That furrogated Folly has been fuf- 
 ficiently anfwer*d already 5 not but rhat fometimcs he may, 
 by implicit Faith, /hooting at Rovers, hit the Mark 5 but it 
 is as the blind Man /hot the Crow, more by Luck than by 
 Wit. 
 
 In /liort, when a bounteous Prince publi/hes the Bantis, 
 betwixt a needy, greedy Doftor, and a great, fat, bulky, 
 uiiweildy Bi/Koprick, the Match is fbon made up, generaiiy, 
 though Confcience, (ftartled a little at the tremendous Ac- 
 eounti and Impoffibiiity, and Impotency of Performance,) 
 does whifperingly, perhaps, forbid the Banns j Avarice and 
 Ambition are loud and lewd Speakers, and can foon filencc 
 the Whifper of a Confcience, that, like fome drowzy Judge, 
 is fcarcely awake when he pafles Sentence : And the Contract 
 once folemnized publickly in the Church, the Divorce is not 
 fo eafy* 
 
 No ? Is not the Divorce eafy in Cafe of Impotence, and 
 Impoflibility of giving the Church due Benevolence, the 
 only Defign and End of fuch a Contrail ? The Civilians 
 cheat us, if fuch an Impotence be not a fuificient, a lawful, 
 and nece/Tary Caufe of Divorce* nay, worfe, it is (fofhefay) 
 ipfsfaBoy void, where there is Error ferjo',i<£^ or not a lit 
 Man for the Turn. But Til urge no parabolical Arrgumenrs 
 fo far as (if I lift) I can make them go : If before God, 
 and in for Confcienti^^ they can anfWer it, I leave them to 
 thofe two Judges. Is it any Wonder to fee a Church barren 
 and unfruitful of any thing, but Puppit-iikc, and Apifh, as 
 well as irrational Ceremonies, fuperficial and perumd^ory 
 Devotions, (the only Fruits of fuch decrepid Sons of the 
 
 M Church) 
 
JO Of Ordination. Chap. IV. 
 
 Church,) wliich are begot when Impotency is fupplied by 
 fumbling CRegifters, Apparitors, Lay-Chancellors, or Lay- 
 Elciers, andforfworn Church- Wardens ? 
 
 St. TaiU (indeed) had upon him the Care of all the 
 Churches; namely, to advife them, and leave Presbyters 
 iind Bifhops to guide, rule, and feed them, but did not Ex- 
 communicate, or Ordain by Implicit Faith. When Presby- 
 ters were Ordain'd, he left the whole Government and Ma- 
 nagement of the Church to their Care and Prudence $ but 
 ho never undertook the Load of a whole County, two c» 
 three, upon his own fingle Shoulders, left with fuch a Weight 
 he could never mount Heaven, but rather be caft down to 
 the nethermoft Hell, and become a Caft-away by Male-Ad- 
 miniftration, and Impoffibility of performing that Office and 
 Undertaking. The Apoftle himfelf could not manage a 
 Plurality. 
 
 A Plurality ? What's that ? Not fuch a thing as it is com- 
 monly taken and accepted to be, viz. two or three poor Pa- 
 ri fhes 5 for one Pari/h (fuch as St. Audre'ws Holhorny) has 
 twenty Times more People than twenty Country ParifTies, 
 (fo unequally arePariflies divided) both as to Numbers and 
 Ellates. A Plurality then is more People than any one Man 
 can probably vifit and regard, either by reafon of their Num- 
 bers, or Diftance of Place : No Men did Rule or Feed the 
 People (in the Scripture Times, pureft and primitive Times) 
 by Proxies, Journeymen- Curates, Sureties, Regifters, Sur- 
 rogates, or Implicit Faith ; 'tis Nonfence all over, as well 
 as irreligious, until blind Men can learn to fee (as our Great 
 Men do now) by other Men's Eyes, and Implicit Faith. I 
 j»rant, that the blind Beggar of SednalGreeji did do his 
 Bufinefs by the Eyes of his Dog and a Bell, and got (they 
 fay) thereby a great Eftate 5 but ftill, in Spirituals, it will 
 not hold good ; and if it would, it would be no great Honour 
 for a Billaop to be accounted the great blind Beggar Eccle- 
 liafticalj yet, fo he mu(l always beg the Queftion, and do 
 his great Church- Works by blind Implicit Faith, or eife he 
 cannot polTibly do Budnefs. 
 
 Therefore, fome Repairs muft of Neceffity be done, and 
 in Time too 5 or elfe, a Church, fo crazy in her Difcipline, 
 and fo nonfenfical in her Ceremonies, cannot ftand long, prop 
 it how we can. 
 
 Th» 
 
Chap. IV. Of Ordination. 91 
 
 The Papifts uphold theirs with Dragoons, Conftables, Jai- 
 lors, Sumners, Regifters, Hangmen, and the Inquifition ; 
 with Curfes, Anathema's, Capiafles, Tortures, and Jails : 
 If any Body make Experiment of like Props, they'll find 
 them rotten, and give them the Slip now in thefe Days ^ 
 and God help us, when Governo s (whofe Duty it is to re- 
 form,^ do neglect fo Jong, (as f^ry Years ago, in Scotland,) 
 *ti]l the Peopk; could bear no longer, and took them to do j 
 but the People are but Tinker like Reformers 5 if they mend 
 one Hole, they make two. 
 
 Force and JaiJs, Im portions, ^t;. might do in the Days 
 of Ignorance. A German Writer tells us, ** That tl e 
 '* People were To filly there, (before Luther's Time,) and 
 *' fo devoutly Frieft-ridden, that if the Priells had bid 
 *v* them, they would have eat Grafs, as our Affes and Jades 
 V do." 
 
 But thofe hap,py Days are done and pafl ; nor mufl: we 
 expe6l fuch Succefs : Formerly, the Priefts were the only 
 Clerks, the only Scholars, and the Gentry went to no School, 
 but the Dancing-School j but now quite contrary, the Gen- 
 try are the moll accompli fti'd Vertuofo's in true Knowledge, 
 and the great Accompli fhment of a Clergy Ceremony-mon- 
 ger, is to go learn his Cringings, Bowings, and Ahmods 
 Poftures Ecclefiaftical, at the two Academies (thofe two 
 Fountains) of fuch Dancing-Literature, and modifn, Cere- 
 monies ^ wherein being pretty well improved in feven Years, 
 in fo hot and long a Skirmiih of Ergo verfus Ergo, it is but 
 addreffing to fome caft Chamber-maid, or Groom to a Pa- 
 tron, that has a void Living in his Gift, and he is forthwith, 
 by the Help of Implicit Faith, made free of the Pulpit : 
 This may be done, becaufe it is frequently done, and then 
 the Flock are not guidable by fuch a Novice 5 but go to the 
 Conventicles, and feek out for better Paftures. What then? 
 Then they are prefented j And what then ? Then the Re- 
 gifters fhears them, takes their Fleeces, and lets them go, 
 to gather more Wool againft the next Clipping-Time, tho 
 next Vifitation, which begins (as all other Mitters of that 
 Nature) with a NofuiJie i)07ni7iiy a Sermon ^ then call over 
 the Clergy, to be ready to pay their Vilitations to the Re- 
 gifters, whilft the Bifhop's great Eye, (Mr. Archdeacon,) is 
 
 M z - getting 
 
jra Of Ordination. Chap. IV. 
 
 letting himfelf a Stomach to hi« Dinner, with Wine and 
 Oyfters : The next Queftion is, — Is Dinner ready ? Then, 
 after Dinner, call what's to pay • there the poor Clergy muft 
 pay again after Dinner, when they had paid for it once be- 
 fore, in their Procurations and SynodaU, before they eat a 
 Bit. Wei), the World grows worfe and worfe : Old Bifhop 
 Htimfrey\ late Bifhop ot Lo72do72^ did, indeed, make us pay 
 our Vifitf, or Procurations, (intended and given, at firft,) to 
 bear Charges, and pay the common Reckoning, and fo he 
 did, we never paid twice 5 but that Innovation came in as 
 foon as he was dead. 
 
 Then, after Dinner, to Church they go again, (when the 
 Clergy are /horn,) to do as much to the Church-Wardens, 
 and IwCf^ring them, to be forfworn j (for no Man ever did, 
 or can keep that Oath :) Sometimes a Church-Warden pays 
 four or five Shillings, fomctimes two Shillings and Four- 
 pence ; the Sell-Soui feldome refufes ready Money ; Then 
 take in their Prefentments 5 and having thereby Notice 
 where the Covy lies, by the Help of his Stalking Horfe, (the 
 Apparitor,) he catches fome, to be fure, in his Net, whence 
 they never efcape, but with the Lofs of fome Feathers, at 
 leafr. 
 
 Well may the Fops fay. Here's a Health to the Church of 
 J'jjgla^df tor never did any fickly Church fland in more 
 Need thereof; If, by the Church, they mean the faid Black 
 Guard, and ragged Regiment of Sumners, Jailors, fworn 
 (I had almoft faid, forfworn) Church-Wardens, Apparitors, 
 P.egirters, Surrogates, Officials, and Ceremony mongers. 
 Here's anEcclefiaftical Body of a Church for yoj ! The like 
 of it is no where in the World 5 for though the Papifts have 
 the fame Tools, and for the fame Ufe, and by the fame 
 Names called and known, yet every Prieft Secular, ("befides 
 the fwarming Monkf, and itinera Friersj performs more 
 Ecclefiaftical Difcipline, in their Way, than the beft Bi/liop 
 does here, in making Penitents. Is it not high Time for 
 our Governors to imitate our Bleffed Saviour, and make a 
 Whip of fmall Cords, and flafh thefe Ecclefiaftical Money- 
 changers out of the lemplc ? 
 
 When Curs get into the Church, the Sexton does not fiapd 
 asking how they canje in, (^when he (ofs the Doors fland 
 
 Open^j 
 
Chap. IV. Of Ordination. ^3' 
 
 ©pen J but whips them out : Even fo, it is a Folly to fpcnd 
 Time in enquiring how thefe Ceremony-mongers, and 
 ragged Regiment got fo high into Church, but flafh theiu 
 out. For though the Favour of a Jefuit, or a Court Whore, 
 might have done Wonders, in putting a great flapping 
 Cap upon my Ceremony-monger's Head, yet I cannot 
 imagine how they could open his Scull, and put in more 
 Brains 5 except Scholars and Wits could be made (like 
 Knights,) by dubbing, or as Kings make Lords, by Letters 
 Patents. 
 
 Not but that the Vijlgar, and the Fool himfelf thinks him- 
 felf Somebody, for Wit and Knowledge, (forfooth,) Vertue 
 and Valour, more than before his Father, or Elder Brother 
 died 5 or before he got (I know how,) to be a Court Favou- 
 rite. But, anatomize and rip him up, and you will not 
 find him to be made of Clay one Jot more refined (than 
 other Mortals, by the Sound or Title of Honour;) but he 
 that was a Fool and a Coward before, is fo ftill, though he 
 had Fools Fortiine, the Luck to have a King for his God- 
 father, and to give him a Name 5 bur, in all other Refpedts, 
 he is juft as God Almighty made him, and as his Sin and 
 Ignorance has polluted him, only a great deal more lofty and 
 confident, (I dare npt fay) impudent, proud, and high. 
 
 Put the Canons of our Church, (now in Force, I'll prove,) 
 forefeeing the Arrogance Ecclefiaftical, took Care (as well 
 as our Saviour did) to prevent it : Nay, even in minute 
 Matters, fuch as that, namely. That a Bifliop /hould not 
 fuffer a Presbyter (his Reverend Brother) fo much as to 
 ftand bare, or keep off his Hat in his Prefence, and imitate 
 our Saviour in warning his Difciples Feet 5 both of thofe fa. 
 nificant Ceremonies had no other Meaning, but the Ruin of 
 Prelatical Pride, which begun amongft the very Twelve 
 Apoftles, as foon as ever they came from receiving the Sa. 
 crament, or iirft Holy Supper, they fell a juftling each other 
 for the Place, being at Strife amongft themfelves, who ihould 
 be Pope, or Archbifhop. 
 
 Juft like the Mother o^ ^ames ^n^ John, the Love of 
 Prelatical Pride made her pray, (fuch was the Height of 
 her Devotion,) that her Sons might fit Cheek by Jowle with 
 pur BlefTed Saviour uppn the Throne, one on the Right 
 
 Hand, 
 
94 0/ Ordinatmu Chap. IV, 
 
 Hand, and the 6ther on the Left : Let not my Ink (herein) 
 leem too corrolive, it is the more proper Remedy to cure 
 this fpreading, canorous, and Ecclefiaftical Ring-worm, that 
 defaces the Beauty of a Churchman, making him more like 
 Lucifer than Chrifl^ who was meek and lowly. 
 
 I have compared Popifh Prelacy (which I have feen be- 
 yond Sea, as well as read of,) with our Englijh Prelacy, and 
 I profefs in the Prefenceof Almighty God, and before Men, 
 that I could not difcern any the learf Difference, within nor 
 withottt, more than what was between two Crows Eggs, no 
 fpecifical Difference, but moft individual ^ and where there 
 is any Difference, the Papills have much more Reafbn for 
 theirs, than we for ours. 
 
 For an Italian Bilhop has not the hundredth Part fo big a 
 Piocefc, neither in Numbers, nor Exten^t, as is the Bifhop- 
 rick of London^ nor fcarce a twentieth Part of the Value '^j 
 and ycf, in that little Extent of a Diocefe, he has a hundred 
 Times more Presbyters to help him in Difcipiine, or Pen- 
 nance, than the Bifhops of London : We are fuffer'd, ici- 
 -deed, (if we picale the Bifliop,) to Preach fometimes, or 
 to Feed, but as to Church Difcipiine, we are juft fo many 
 Cyphers. The Papifts defraud the People of half the Sa- 
 vrament, and the Bifliops take from their Brethren the Pres- 
 byters half the Work of a Presbyter 5 that they may be the 
 Domini Do-all's, and yet they cannot do at all, except by 
 Sell- Soul RegiiJers and Sumners, ©f whom a Presbyter js but 
 the nieer Eccho. What a Church have we got! TheRule- 
 ing Elder, in Scripture, is worthy of double Honour, but 
 cfpecially the Preaching Elder, that labours in the Word 
 and Doctrine ; but, quite contrary with us : For the Preach- 
 ing Elder is ^o-body to the Regiiler, Bifliop, or Arch- 
 biHiop, who, if they be not Ruling Elders, are (fome of 
 them) noth i.g at all ; for Preach they do not, Rule they 
 cannor, except by Proxy, Sureties, or Godfathers, and Im- 
 plicit Faith : Where lies their chief Ufe then, more than of 
 Old, dbfelete, and antiquated Statutes, long laidafideamongft 
 old Almanacks, and out of Date ? 
 
 Ay, fay fome, but old Things, and old Men rnuft not be 
 caft away : No, God forbid 5 no more than Novices or little 
 •C^hildren 5 bur, woe be to that Land whofe King is a Child, 
 and the Land ruled by Sureties, Godfathers, Proxies, and 
 Adminiikaiors 3 fo woe be that Church whofe Ecciefiafli- 
 
 <;al 
 
Chap. IV. Cf Ordination. gj 
 
 cal Men are Novices, or antiquated, and twice Children: 
 An old Lawyer is not caft away, when he cafts himfelf 
 oflF, as unfit for the Bar,- being half deaf, and half blind ; 
 'tis Time to have done, when Nature gives a Man his ^«/- 
 ctus efl. 
 
 Oh ! But no matter who does the Work, (fay feme) yet 
 <he Profits, the Profits, the Wages, the Wages. 
 
 To that ril anfwer ; Avarice, Avarice, (which made an 
 Apoftle fell his Lord) the Work, the Work, which none but 
 a God that is Omniprefenr can difcharge honeftly, except by 
 Deputies and Curates, a Name unknown in Scripture, and 
 the Primitive Church, 'till Pride and Covctoufnefs would 
 i^oop to that Load that it is enough to break the Back of any 
 Mortal 5 bona hterim Confcientia fremcntc intui ^ vbju- 
 ra'dte faltem fitfurrajite meliora 5 we hoped, and are ilill not 
 without fomc Hopes, that as we have lately changed our Po- 
 pifti Task-Mafter, our Popifh Bondage alfo would have been 
 eafed ^ for it is meer Hypocrify, and mocking of God, to 
 make a Thankfgiving for our Deliverance from Slavery and 
 Popery, if we be only Tranflated, Latin into Engl'ijh^ and 
 the Amendment only in Words, meer Words, of the fame 
 Tenour and Signification, and are really Comrades Ecclefia- 
 ttical and Prelatical, whom our Lord has condemn'd, in every 
 Thing, except for Order or Methods fake, cur Saviour has 
 pad a Sentence againft all Spiritual Lordfiiip, but Temporal 
 Lordfhips, and Temporal Lords only does he admit, Eoa- 
 tiitfo Clero, 
 
 I know not how, when, or how foon it fliall come to pais, 
 but the Time fhall come, (Fll fay with my Saviour — Mat^ 
 15. 13,) that every ^lant ixhich my Heavenly Father hath 
 not planted^ jhali he rooted up. 
 
 The Devil and the Popes made certain Laws called Canon 
 Law; and to encourage Men to profefs the Magick, or Black 
 Art, a Thing was advanced, called a Profeflbr, orDo^orof 
 Canon-Law, and we are fuch wife Reformers as tochufeour 
 Officials, Commiflaries, Regifters, and Chancellors out of 
 this Rubbifh : It will coft a Man honeftly 500/. before his 
 Son can be free of the Sell-Soul Trade ; but then, then, when 
 he happens to have a Sell-Soufs Place given f given, (aid I ? 
 Fool that I am ! I mean granted) to him, when he gets Un- 
 derftanding to know the BngUfh o{ Co7?/ideratis Covjideran- 
 diSi or the Meaning of a Gratuity, an Income, o^r a Fine, 
 
 he 
 
9^6 Of Ordination. Ghap. IV^ 
 
 he may get the Devil and all of Money, and a Purfe as large 
 »'$ his Confcience. As for Inftance : I myfelf read an Ablo- 
 jution in my Church 6^ All- Saint s^ fent to me from 2)o6iors- 
 Commons to publifli, in Pain of the Law 5 namelyj I muft 
 cure a young Lady, by abfolving her, that was Excomntiuni- 
 cated for breaking her Leg, or coming before her Time j 
 and becaufe flie was loath to repent, fhe puni/li*d her Purfe, 
 fent up the Guineas to 'DoEiors- Commons y where a Pro£lor 
 (that fhall be namelefs, for 'tis ufual) fwore in my Prefence 
 before the Vicar-general, /;; aJiimam T>cmi7i^i for the Soal 
 of hisMittrefs, fthe faid young Lady, whom he never fa w, 
 nor ever will fee, for fhe is dead,) that he did believe her 
 very penitent, for her Sin of Fornication 5 'tis true^ /he 
 never fpoke to him, nor to the Regifter, nor to the Vicar, 
 iior Surrogate, nor to any of that Rabble, but her Guineas 
 did, to my Kriowlcdge. This is no telling Tales out of 
 School, for I always defy'd them, and all their Works, they 
 are fo profligate and proftitute, without Shame or Confcience. 
 
 A Whore in Rome may have a Pardon, or Abfolution, for 
 a Jiiiio or two, and for twelve Royals, (a Noblci Engiijh 
 Money,) in Spain^ or Portugal -^ but our Sell Souls have no 
 Confcience in them, if they get a rich Whore into their 
 handling. Befides, the Papifts colour over the Pick-pocket 
 Rapine, with enjoining fome Pennioce, as to fay forty Ave- 
 Maries, or fit all Kight naked upon a cold Stone, to cool 
 and mortify them at leaft, to colour the Robbery of their 
 Purfes ; but our* Difciplinarians, bare-faced, bid you deliver 
 your Purfe, (full of Guineas fometimes,) or elfe go to 
 Pound, or Pinfold, (the Devil) and Jail 5 but open your 
 Purfe, and you fliall not need to open your Mouth, and con- 
 fefs your Sins. 
 
 I have feen a great Part of this Moiety, or one Side of 
 the Globe of the World, and fomewhat of the other He- 
 mifpheres beyond the iKquator 5 but, in all my Travels, 
 Reading, or Difcourfes, I never met with fuch a rotten, 
 fcnfelefs, fhamelefs Church Difcipline, as ours is, for it is 
 nothing but a Money Matter, without any Sconce, or Co- 
 lour. The Papifts are as bad, but, more cunning and mo- 
 deft Sinners, they have fome Clo^k for their Knavery ; 
 they woifliip Mammon, their God, as much as any Church 
 of England Man does, but they make fome Pretence of 
 Pennance and Repentance. 
 
 ^ Nor 
 
chap. IVd Of Ordimtion. gj 
 
 Nor is there a Church of England Man that will ever 
 come to Heaven, but, before he comes there, he will and 
 inuft thank me (or fuch as me) for {lopping his Career to 
 Hell, (full Speed J without Check, or Remorfe : They'll 
 find, that neither Almighty God, nor the People, will long 
 be mocked. 
 
 Jf they can defend their 'Baal and ^ahcl like Chriftians, 
 Scholars, or Gentlemen, let them come forth and anfwcr 
 me • but, hitherto, they never durft encounter my Naked 
 Truths, but with a picked Jury, that credited a fingle Wit- 
 nels, in Contradiftion to Five unconcerned and unbiafs'd, as 
 ■well as fubftantial WitnefTes j (but neither God, nor any 
 King has pardonM Perjury, there is a Time for all Things.) 
 It was well for him, as well as for me, that I fell into the 
 Hands of a noble Perfon, that fcorn'd to make Money of his 
 Honour, promifing upon his Honour, that he would never 
 take Advantage of that Verdi6l of 2000/. 'till I fhould 
 commit fome other Crime, that might deferve fo great a 
 Penalty 5 whereas Truth and Reformation is {o far from 
 being a Crime, that none can have fuch a Thought, but 
 an Atheift, or he that defies all Honefly, and the God of 
 Truth. 
 
 The God of Heaven then has decreed, That Pride and 
 Cruelty Prclatical, ihall have a fudden and a dreadful Fall i 
 Stand clear there, and look to your Heads, for prop it, and 
 Shoulder it up who will, they have been, and ilill fhaii be 
 buried in its Ruins. 
 
 Oh! But the Popiihly- invented Writ, de Heretico Com- 
 lurefido, is taken away by Act of Parliament ! Yea, I do not 
 fay, that Prelates burn DiRenters, (they cannot if they 
 would,) but there has been ten Times more Ruin to Fami- 
 lies by cruel and long Imprlfonments, by Vertue of that 
 other Popifhly invented Writ, de Bxccmmiimcato Capiendo^ 
 that had the fame Original and End with the Burning 
 Writ 3 they were neither of them Plants which my Hea- 
 venly Father hath planted, and therefore you know their 
 Doom. 
 
 Pillories, exceilive and unmerciful Fines, the late cruel 
 Whippings of Gentlemen, is a new Invention 5 the Weipj 
 Monfter muft have the Honour of that bafe Cruelty, that 
 even the bloody Romans never ufed to any that out-lived the 
 Infamy, nor to any but fuch as were conden[ined. Docs not 
 
 K the 
 
^8 Of Ordination. Chap. IV. 
 
 the WeiP^ ^erillns deferve to roar by reafon of his own 
 ^ brazen Bull? That the Welch Blood of his Back may re- 
 fund a little for the Engliflo Blood fo fhamefully flafh'd-our, 
 and fpilt 5 but, (I fayj Pillories, exceffive and unmerciful 
 Fines, Imprifonments eternal, and to Death, (devifing there- 
 by Hell upon Earth,) cropping ofF Ears, impofing of filly 
 Ceremonies, and arbitrary Taxes, and Oppreflions, (in the 
 Reign of little Archbi/hop Laud) were the Occafion, at 
 leaft, (I well remember) of fo many Diflenters, and the 
 People's Pretence (at leaft) of rifing in Arms, which were 
 f ot laid down, with his Death, nor the Crimes and Blood 
 expiated, but by committing greater, in an unnatural and 
 bloody Civil War, of Twenty long Years landing. 
 
 But the Sarcafme put upon Archbifhop Laud, by ( Ar- 
 ch ee) the King's Jefter, I cannot forgive in any other Man ; 
 namely, when, at his Requeft, King Charles I. admitted 
 the Fool to fay Grace, (his Grace, little Dollar Laudy then 
 in Pre fence,) viz. 
 
 Great Traifc he given to God, and little Laud to the DeviU 
 
 For Prelates were the People's Love and Hate, 
 Cry'd down, and once (by Chance) cry'd up of late, 
 (In Rancour to the Pope, and Popifh State 5) 
 And EngiiJJy Popery fhall have the fame Fate 
 With lait Year's Almanack, quite tut of Date. 
 
 For a Ceremony-monger (that Church Cobweb,) can no 
 more be mended (as aforefaid,) than other tatter'd and 
 broken Cobwebs 5 and if you could, *tis not worth the while, 
 a Broom will do it : However, fome Repairs are as fpeedily 
 as neceflarily to be done ; left England become allegorically 
 famous (as 'Denmark \^ in a literal Senfe,) for Abundance 
 of Wood-cocks, with Ions Bills, gay Feathers, narrow 
 Tongues, and little Brains.^ 
 
 F / iV / S. 
 
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