OPULAR 
 ECTURE 
 
 V 
 
tihv<{vy of Che theological ^tminaxy 
 
 PRINCETON • NEW JERSEY 
 
 PRESENTED BY 
 
 The Estate of the 
 
 Pew - JT^W-^ -D Ui ^j^— — 
 
 BV 3797 .J85 P66 1909 
 Jones, Sam P. 1847-1906 
 Popular lectures of Sam 
 Jones 
 
/ 
 
 s3J 
 
POPULAR LECTURES OF \ 
 
 SAM P. JONES I 
 
Stories, Lectures, Sermons 
 By Sam Jones 
 
 Sam Jones' Revival Sermons. 
 
 Compiled by his daughter, Annie 
 Jones Pyron. i2mo, cloth, net $i.oo 
 
 These selected sermons by the famous evan- 
 gelist have a heart quality that enforces their 
 messages of love and sympathy even divorced as 
 they are from the voice of that master pleader 
 for the souls of men. The depth of feeling with 
 vk^hich Sam Jones presented gospel truths illu- 
 minates every page. His illustrations are re- 
 markable for their homely qualities and for their 
 practical application. 
 
 Famous Stories of Sam Jones. 
 Edited by George R. Stuart. 
 
 i2mo, cloth, net i.oo 
 "In his revival work, Sam Jones presented the 
 truths of the Gospel in epigram and story. They 
 are all very striking, very entertaining, too, and 
 withal deeply convincing. The book cannot fail 
 to stir the heart."— Christian Intelligencer. 
 
 Popular Lectures of Sam Jones. 
 Edited by Walt Holcomb. 
 
 i2nio, cloth, net .75 
 "Sam Jones was a marvelous compound. His 
 lectures and sermons as given in this little vol- 
 ume are just as he delivered them. Sharp, satiri- 
 cal, bitter, it is certain that he hated the devil and 
 all his works. He touched the hearts of people 
 and did good, and his addresses hold the attention 
 till the last word has been read." 
 
 —Herald and Presbyter. 
 
POPULAR LECTU 
 
 OF 
 
 SAM p. JONES 
 
 Edited by 
 WALT HOLCOMB 
 
 New York Chicago Toronto 
 
 Fleming H. Revell Company 
 
 London and Edinburgh 
 
Copyright, 1909, by 
 FLEMING H. REVELL COMPANY 
 
 New York: 158 Fifth Avenue 
 Chicago: 125 No. Wabash Ave. 
 Toronto: 25 Richmond Street, W. 
 London: 21 Paternoster Square 
 Edinburgh: 100 Princes Street 
 
 \ 
 
CONTENTS 
 
 PAGE 
 
 I. A Medley op Philosophy^ Facts,, 
 
 AND Fun 9 
 
 II. The World as It Is and the 
 
 World as It Ought to Be . . 36 
 
 III. Character and Characters . . 60 
 
 IV. Manhood and Money . . . ,77 
 
 V. Ravages of Rum 87 
 
 VI. Get There and Stay There . . 110 
 
INTRODUCTORY 
 
 In response to requests from different 
 parts of the country, we have gathered to- 
 gether The Popular Lectures of the late 
 Reverend Sam P. Jones. These were de- 
 livered from almost every lyceum and Chau- 
 tauqua platform throughout the United 
 States and Canada. 
 
 Some of these lectures were dictated by 
 Mr. Jones just before his death, others were 
 reported by competent stenographers; all 
 have been carefully edited and arranged, 
 and preserve the style in which they were 
 spoken. 
 
 Believing that these lectures will prove 
 the most popular of his many helpful mes- 
 sages, we send them forth with a prayer that 
 they may make the world brighter and 
 better. 
 
 Very sincerely yours, 
 
 Walt Holcomb^ 
 
 Nashville, Tenn. 
 
POPULAR LECTURES OF 
 SAM R JONES 
 
 A MEDLEY OF PHILOSOPHY, FACTS, 
 AND FUN 
 
 PHILOSOPHY furnishes to us the 
 rules by which we do the best pos- 
 sible thing, in the best possible way, 
 at the best possible time. The man who 
 knows just what to do, and when to do, and 
 then how to do the best thing to be done, 
 is a philosopher ! Of course, that sort of a 
 fellow would feel lonesome in a crowd. 
 That was a description of a philosopher. 
 
 And then when we come to think about 
 facts, they are the most tremendous, far- 
 reaching things in all the world. A fact is 
 a very different thing from a theory. Now, 
 in my younger days I had my theories, and 
 championed my theories, and was ready to 
 die by them. Keally, when I was twenty- 
 one years of age I was very intelligent. I 
 9 
 
10 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 looked upon Daniel Webster as an idiot; 
 and if Solomon had come along I would 
 have put him in the asylum. But I am just 
 getting old enough now to see what a fool 
 I was. Why, a fellow oughtn't to be al- 
 lowed to go about by himself until he is 
 thirty years old; a WOMAN, Never. 
 
 I have been a young fool, I am free to 
 admit that; I have been a middle-aged fool, 
 and I am sorry about that, and I am pray- 
 ing so earnestly now that the Lord will just 
 keep me from being an old fool. You see 
 that is the last wag of the hammer. You 
 take an old widower, for instance. I was 
 sitting in a car some time ago, and an old 
 widower walked in. I suppose he was eighty 
 years old, his nose and chin nearly met. 
 He took a seat near me and began to brag 
 of his health. He said he hadn't felt better 
 in forty years, and he said, " They tease me 
 about marrying again, and I don't know 
 but that I will." I suspect the old rascal 
 had rubbed every joint of his limbs with 
 Wizard Oil before he could get out of bed 
 that morning. 
 
 I am growing older; I am a sort of 
 patriarch now, I have had my silver wed- 
 ding, and that was a big time at our house. 
 That was the night they got the swallow-tail 
 
PHILOSOPHY, FACTS, AND FUN 11 
 
 coat on me, and tliey laughed at me. I told 
 them I had never had one on before, and I 
 got that on mostly behind. I shook hands 
 with myself seven times that night. That 
 was a big occasion. I have grandchildren 
 playing about my home, and the time has 
 come with me, if ever, when I ought to begin 
 to stay by the facts. Theories furnish the 
 basis for a young fellow to operate upon. 
 But wisdom and age stay by the facts. I 
 used to love to sit down and read articles on 
 agriculture, but I wouldn't give ten cents 
 a dozen for them to-day. Now I love to walk 
 with a good old farmer through his magnifi- 
 cent, growing crops, look at his fat cattle, 
 hogs, and horses, and see his full granaries 
 and cribs. There is something charming 
 about that to me. 
 
 I do not want a preacher now, to stand up 
 and talk theology and ecclesiasticism to me. 
 I always did despise theology and botany, 
 but I do love religion and flowers. There is 
 something about them that is fragrant and 
 wholesome. I do not want a doctor now, to 
 talk hygiene, anatomy, and physiology to 
 me. Let him take me out to the cemetery, 
 and show me w^hat he has done. It is the 
 practical fellow; it is the fellow w^ho has 
 done something. That is my style of man. 
 
12 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 I have reached the point in my life now, 
 where I wouldn't give one well-substan- 
 tiated fact for all the theories in this world. 
 
 I can argue down a fellow's theories, and 
 clean up his rhetoric, but when I meet a 
 fact, I go to sitting up with it, and my chil- 
 dren will have to sit up with it after I am 
 gone. You can't get over a fact, nor around 
 it, nor under it, nor through it. You have 
 to pitch your tent and camp when you meet 
 a fact; and the biggest fool in the United 
 States, and that is saying a heap, is the fel- 
 low who will stand up and argue against 
 a fact. Of course, most of you fellows will 
 not do it, but I am speaking to those who 
 will. 
 
 I was talking out West, some time ago, 
 and I said : " Prosperity has come again. 
 The clearing-house receipts, the railroad 
 earnings, the marts of trade, and the wheels 
 of commerce roll higher than at any time in 
 the history of America. Prosperity has 
 come again ! '^ A good old Silver Loon, in 
 the audience, stood up and said, " It hain't 
 hit me yit," and I said, " Neighbor, it's 
 mighty hard to hit nothing." 
 
 He was a fellow who would argue against 
 a fact. And if you Free-silver men, who 
 listen to me now, if you will look back a 
 
PHILOSOPHY, FACTS, AND FUN 13 
 
 few years ago, and see how you were tearing 
 your shirts, and talking yourselves hoarse on 
 Free silver, if you don't feel like a fool, now, 
 you don't feel natural, that's all. 
 
 I may stop long enough here to illustrate 
 what I mean by theories and facts; for in- 
 stance, in the church world, we Methodists 
 and Baptists differ on our theories of bap- 
 tism. The Methodist theory is to pour the 
 water on the kid when it is little, and the 
 Baptist theory is to wait 'till he is about 
 grown, and then souse him clear under. 
 Those are the two theories, practically 
 stated. Let us go behind these theories and 
 look at some facts. I know a fellow who was 
 baptised in infancy by a Methodist preacher, 
 and he poured the water on him. He grew 
 up, joined the Methodist church, and he is 
 one of the best men to-day that I have ever 
 seen. I know another fellow who professed 
 conversion after he was grown, joined the 
 Baptist church, and the Baptist preacher 
 immersed him. That same fellow is one of 
 the best men who walk the American conti- 
 nent. 
 
 I know another fellow who was baptised 
 in infancy by a Methodist preacher, who 
 poured the water on him. He grew up and 
 joined the Methodist church, and he is in 
 
14 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 the penitentiary now, serving out his sen- 
 tence. I know another fellow who professed 
 conversion after he was grown, joined the 
 Baptist church, and the Baptist preacher 
 immersed him clear under; they hung him! 
 Absolutely hung him. 
 
 I never ask a fellow what church he be- 
 longs to ; I ask him, are you a good husband 
 to your wife, a good father to your children, 
 and a good citizen in your community; do 
 you pay your debts, tell the truth, and live 
 right? If he says " Yes," I say, " Give me 
 your hand." If he says " No," I say, " Fix 
 for my foot." I give one of them the right- 
 hand of fellowship, and the other the right- 
 hand of footship. I think that is the best 
 practical settlement of the whole question. 
 
 Fun is the next best thing to religion. The 
 best thing in this old sin-cursed earth is good 
 old-fashioned Bible religion. Of course, 
 you people here know nothing about it, but 
 there is such a thing in the world as good 
 old-fashioned religion. But we are rele- 
 gating that to the rear. Theosophy, Occult- 
 ism, Christian Science, and Spiritualism are 
 catching people by the thousand, and you 
 good people are following after these things. 
 The devil will get the most of you, but 
 thank God, he won't get much. That is one 
 
PHILOSOPHY, FACTS, AND FUN 15 
 
 consolation. Christian Science starts out 
 with a monumental lie : " No such thing as 
 pain ! '' I know that's a lie, for I have sat 
 up with it all night. " If you have the tooth- 
 ache, and will get the thought that you 
 haven't got it, and will hold the thought, 
 then you haven't got it." I suppose then, 
 that if a married man gets the thought that 
 he has no wife and holds the thought, then 
 he is an old bachelor? I suspect some of 
 you wish you were. Like the fellow who 
 said, when he first married, he just felt all 
 the time like he wanted to eat his wife up, 
 but he said, in about a week, " I lost my ap- 
 petite." 
 
 I repeat it. Christian Science catches 
 them by the thousand, but they are mostly 
 women. Anything will catch a woman. If 
 you are a Christian Scientist that is no sign 
 that you are not good; but your trouble is 
 above your eyes. There is one consolation 
 in being a Christian Scientist; if you ever 
 get in the water over your head you need 
 not be scared, for your head will swim 
 all right. Just lift your handkerchief for 
 a sail, and you will come in with the first fa- 
 vourable breeze. And Spiritualism is catch- 
 ing them by the thousand. Like the spirit- 
 ualist orator, who had his great crowd be- 
 
16 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 fore him, and who was carrying them by 
 storm. Directly he said, " Now, ladies and 
 gentlemen, I announce the most marvellous 
 phenomenon in the spiritual world. When 
 you live and dwell in spiritualism, every- 
 thing becomes real, and you can handle a 
 ghost like you can handle a man.'' At that 
 time a little, red-haired, squint-eyed man 
 down in the audience said " Amen." The 
 orator said, " Ladies and gentlemen, there is 
 a witness to this wonderful phenomenon. 
 Come right up here and bear testimony." 
 The fellow came up to the stand. '' Now," 
 said the orator, " give them the facts on this 
 proposition." " What is your proposition? " 
 " That when you live and dwell in spirit- 
 ualism, everything becomes real, and you 
 can handle a ghost just like you can handle 
 a man." " Oh, the devil," said the man, " I 
 thought you said a GOAT." 
 
 Whenever you tackle spiritualism, there 
 is a goat in there, and he is after you, too. 
 You can all run after new tricks and new 
 isms, if you care to ; but here is one fellow 
 that's going to stay by the God of his 
 fathers, and the church of his mother. I am 
 not going to run after your new tricks, I 
 won't do it. And I repeat it, the best thing 
 on earth is good old-fashioned Bible reli- 
 
PHILOSOPHY, FACTS, AND FUN 17 
 
 gion; and just as we drift away from that, 
 we are drifting downward, and hellward. 
 
 Anybody with a heart in him loves fun. 
 A man who does not love fun is abnormal. 
 He isn't all right; there is a part of him 
 missing. 
 
 Josh Billings, Mark Twain, Bill Nye, they 
 are benefactors of the world. We have real- 
 ised long ago that Job told an universal 
 truth when he said, " Man is born unto 
 trouble as the sparks fly upward." Every 
 human heart in this world is loaded, and 
 every laugh of your life is a leverage under 
 a burden, lifting it up and giving you a 
 moment of surcease and rest. We need to 
 laugh more. 
 
 Anybody with a soul loves to laugh. That 
 is one reason why I despise " sassiety," so 
 called ; the most heartless creature in God's 
 world is a full-fledged society woman. I have 
 met a few of them, been introduced to them, 
 and they would push out a little, old, 
 straight-kid-gloved hand at me, and I would 
 shake the thing, and I would just as soon 
 shake the tail of a dead fish. No heart, no 
 life, and no warmth. A society woman looks 
 upon the introduction of a baby in the home 
 as a nuisance, and a big family of children 
 as a thing to be despised. I keep telling you 
 
18 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 when God Almighty gives a man a good wife 
 and ten or fifteen children, He has done a 
 heap for that fellow. When the devil gives 
 him a society woman and a poodle dog, he 
 just threw off on him. 
 
 I repeat it, anybody with a heart loves 
 fun, but these foolish, flippant, society 
 people: — if I had married a society woman 
 and gone home some day and didn't see her 
 around, I wouldn't ask, " Where is my 
 wife?" I would just ask, "Where is it?" 
 Frill and flounce and dance. I have no ob- 
 jection to dancing for some people. I rather 
 advocate it. If I had a daughter that wore 
 a number four hat and a number seven shoe, 
 I would send her to a dancing school, and 
 train the big end of the thing. But if I had 
 a bright, sweet, intelligent girl, I would as 
 deliberately take her up in my arms and toss 
 her into perdition as I would pick her up 
 and project her into the average ballroom 
 life of this country. 
 
 Fun, nothing like it in all the world! 
 That is one reason why I like the Irish. 
 They are full of fun, and I thank God that 
 I have a streak of Irish blood in me, and I 
 thank God that there isn't any more than 
 there is. Pat will get fun out of anything. 
 Some temperance people were talking on the 
 
PHILOSOPHY, FACTS, AND FUN 19 
 
 street. Pat came up and said, " Gintlemen, 
 ye kin talk agin likker and abuse likker, but 
 it's the best eyesight medicine I iver seed 
 and tried yit. There's me brother Moike, 
 born blind, and niver seed a thing; he jist 
 drank whiskey a week, and the divel may 
 kill me, if he didn't see snakes all over the 
 house. And nothin' iver helped his eyesight 
 but whiskey." There is many a poor fel- 
 low in America treating his eyes with it. I 
 suspect this country uses more eyesight 
 medicine, of that kind, than almost any 
 country in the world. 
 
 You can't cure them from drinking, either. 
 They won't be cured. They won't take the 
 medicine. Like the old darkey that went to 
 a doctor. He said, " I have come to you 
 about my mule; he is sick, and is going to 
 die, it looks like, and I can't get another. 
 Doctor, can't you give me something for my 
 mule?" The doctor said, "Yes, I'll help 
 you. Uncle, in your trouble; here is some 
 calomel. Go home and put this calomel in a 
 big cane joint, and put the joint in the 
 mule's mouth, and blow. He will take it up, 
 and I think it will help him." " Yes, Boss, 
 I'se gwine follow your directions." He went 
 home, and the next day he sent for the doc- 
 tor. The doctor came and the old darkey 
 
20 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 was piled up in bed, nearly dead. The doc- 
 tor said, " I thought it was your mule that 
 was sick, and here you are in bed." " Hit 
 shorely was de mule, doctor, but hit's me 
 now." ^^ What's the matter with you?" 
 " Hit was dat calomel, doctor." " You fool, 
 I told you to give it to the mule." " Well, I 
 did try to, doctor, but you see hit was disser 
 w^ay, dat ar mule blowed fust." 
 
 Whenever you go to treating an American 
 for drinking, he will blow first on you every 
 time. 
 
 Fun, nothing like it in all the world. Pat 
 loved fun in any stage in life. The doctor 
 had just told him that he would pass away 
 before night. He was very low, and after 
 the doctor left, he called his faithful wife to 
 the side of his bed, and said, " Bridget, I 
 want you to make me a promise. I want 
 you upon your soul never to go back on 
 that promise." She said, "What is it?" 
 " I want you to promise me that when I am 
 dead, you will see, with your own eyes, that 
 I am buried right under the Jewish Syna- 
 gogue." Bridget said, " You are losing your 
 mind, now." " My mind was never better," 
 said Pat. " Well," she said, " what on earth 
 do you want to be buried under a Jewish 
 Synagogue for? " " Begorry, that's the last 
 
PHILOSOPHY, FACTS, AND FUN 21 
 
 place that the devil would ever look for an 
 Irishman/' 
 
 Fat people like fun. Fat people are the 
 best-natured people in the world if you will 
 feed them. Like the big, fat, old sister, who 
 sat down in the dentist^s chair, filled it up 
 and run it over. The dentist looked at her 
 and said, " You seem to be cheerful, 
 madam." " I was always cheerful, and I 
 like folks who are cheerful, whether they 
 are chairfull, or not." 
 
 Like the big, old, fat sister, who came in- 
 to the train, when it stopped at a station; 
 she looked like a Muscovy duck. She 
 waltzed up and down the aisle; every seat 
 was taken, and the thing got to be painful. 
 Directly Pat arose on the scene and said, 
 " Gintlemen, begorry, I will be one of any 
 two of ye who will git up and give the lady 
 a seat." 
 
 Fun, nothing like it. " Now, we are to get 
 a ' medley,' " as the old woman said. Med- 
 ley means mixture, and we will mix it in 
 due proportions, not asking any of you to 
 agree with me on any proposition. When a 
 majority of this country agrees with me I 
 am going to change my views. I know 
 that I am wrong then. If a fellow will 
 agree with the majority of people, and stick 
 
22 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 with them until he dies, if he don't go to 
 hell it will be because the shebang burned 
 out before he got there. That is no joke. 
 
 I never ask a crowd to agree with me; 
 I just ask them, " Did you understand me? " 
 I make everything so plain that if a fellow 
 don't understand me, he is all right anyhow, 
 because God has made especial provision 
 for idiots and children. You will get in 
 with that bunch. 
 
 Now I want to say that every phase of 
 American life seems to have turned its back 
 upon the great facts of God's world, and is 
 chasing false theories around in every phase 
 of life. You step into the political world, 
 and a man ought never to mention politics 
 without an apology. It isn't politics now, it 
 is just plain ticks. Just something to hang 
 on and fill up. You may catch all your old 
 politicians and run them into a great plate- 
 glass place, and shut them up, and the devil 
 will come along in the morning and peep in 
 on them, and walk off shaking his head. He 
 will say, " That is ahead of anything I have 
 got. I have nothing that will keep up with 
 that bunch." 
 
 I really believe there is where the biggest 
 difference is. You take the two last na- 
 tional campaigns; they were projected and 
 
PHILOSOPHY, FACTS, AND FUN 23 
 
 run on false theories. The Eepublican 
 Party came along one day and told us that 
 the maintenance of our honor, and the per- 
 petuity of our institutions, depended upon 
 the single gold standard. Bryan came along 
 and told the dear people that the monu- 
 mental crime of 1873 was to demonetise 
 silver, and precipitate a panic in our coun- 
 try, and that there would never be prosper- 
 ity until we got the free and unlimited 
 coinage of silver, at sixteen to one ; and both 
 of them were lying like a trotting dog. But 
 I say to you, in the fear of God, that the 
 peace and prosperity in this country do 
 not depend upon the single gold standard, 
 nor the free and unlimited coinage of silver, 
 but they depend alone upon the honesty, in- 
 tegrity, uprightness, sobriety, and industry 
 of this great American people, and nothing 
 else that the sun shines upon. 
 
 I am sorry for the Democrats; you need 
 a guardian. Amid the wild debauchery and 
 crimes of the Eepublican Party, the Demo- 
 crats to-day stand back without a leader, 
 and without an issue. My, my, I am sorry 
 for them! I think they ought to join the 
 Christian Scientists. The only man who 
 ever led you to victory since the war be- 
 tween the States, and carried you to victory 
 
24 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 twice, has never changed his policies or 
 principles one iota from start to finish ; you 
 turn your back on him, and kick him and 
 curse him from Maine to California, and 
 then take after another fellow who has lead 
 you to inglorious defeat twice, and you are 
 still whooping for him. I don't understand 
 it. And you stole the last plank the old 
 Populists had in their platform and left 
 them sitting on the ground. They aint had 
 anything since. 
 
 Oh! When the Democratic Party, which 
 is the people's party of this country, when 
 you throw every rotten Populist plank out 
 of your platform, and get back on a Jeffer- 
 sonian and Old Hickory Jackson platform, 
 and stay there, you will sweep this country 
 for Democracy, and hold your own ; but you 
 will never do it until then. 
 
 I am sorry for you. You need sympathy. 
 
 And I don't want to make any of you old 
 politicians mad, because we can't fight. I 
 wouldn't fight you at all. I am like the 
 'possum felt toward the skunk. He said he 
 wasn't afraid of the skunk, but he knew if 
 he "fit" it he couldn't go home to his 
 family. 
 
 The greatest enemy to American life to- 
 day, and the very influence that is going to 
 
PHILOSOPHY, FACTS, AND FUN 25 
 
 destroy our free institutions^ is the dirty old 
 demagogues of America, in the politics of 
 the country. I have a thousand times more 
 fear of them than I have of every other in- 
 fluence that is preying upon the liberties of 
 America. Old demagogues. Old demijohns. 
 Why, if they were all to die to-night, and the 
 devil were to peep through his keyhole and 
 see them coming, he would shut up shop. 
 Why, if the whole gang got into hell to- 
 gether in a bunch, they would call a caucus, 
 knock the devil in the head, elect their own 
 devil, and run the place to suit themselves. 
 
 You don't have any trouble understanding 
 me, do you? 
 
 Again; you step into the church world, 
 and it is all agog and awry there. The most 
 painful fact to my mind and heart is the 
 loose grip that the church has upon the God 
 of the universe. How sad that phase is to 
 me ! We have been clamouring for fifty years 
 for an educated ministry, and we have got it 
 to-day, and the church is deader than it ever 
 has been in its history. Half of the literary 
 preachers in this town are A.B.'s, Ph.D.'s, 
 D.D.'s, LL.D.'s, and A.S.S.'s. And when 
 you find a fellow with a whole alphabet on 
 him, you can turn him out. Half of them 
 will read a sermon from a manuscript, and I 
 
26 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 would rather a fellow would pull a pistol 
 on me than a manuscript. What does a 
 preacher want with a manuscript? 
 
 Every year down in my town we have our 
 tabernacle meetings. We invite the best 
 preachers on this continent, and they come. 
 One year I invited the pastor of a great 
 church in Cincinnati, and he came, and he 
 spoke on Sunday morning. He pulled out a 
 forty-page manuscript and stood there and 
 read the gospel for a whole hour, and those 
 good country people never saw it done be- 
 fore, and when they adjourned for dinner 
 they got under the trees and talked about 
 the proceedings. They said, " What do you 
 think of that letter from Cincinnati? " And 
 I never see a fellow pull his manuscript 
 now that I don't wonder where that letter is 
 from. 
 
 Now what I want is a fellow with sense 
 enough and religion enough to preach the 
 gospel of Jesus Christ with a warm heart 
 and an honest mind to a lost and ruined 
 world; and I never saw a fellow in my life 
 who was converted under a read sermon; 
 and if I had been I wouldn't tell it. I would 
 hate to admit that I was that soft a fellow 
 to have been converted that way. 
 
 Then you dear old brethren in the church, 
 
PHILOSOPHY, FACTS, AND FUN Tt 
 
 you are not doing your duty. You will pack 
 your preacher in an icebox and cuss all the 
 year because he don't sweat. He can't get 
 up a sweat. It's too cold. I am sorry for 
 the preachers. They are doing the best they 
 can with the gang they've got. You dear old 
 deacons and stewards, you just sit around 
 there and don't give him the proper encour- 
 agement. When you wake up, and get up, 
 the seats of your pants look like the map of 
 the United States. Just trusting in the 
 Lord all the time! It reminds me of the 
 two old negro preachers coming down the 
 road, one to help the other in a protracted 
 meeting. Presently Brother Green said, 
 " Brother Chauncy, I will tell how I is dese 
 latter days; I have got so now dat I don't 
 do anything; I jus' trust in de Lord all de 
 time, laying down on dem promises." 
 Brother Chauncy said, " I'll tell you how I 
 is ; I does de bes' I kin fer myself fust, den I 
 lays down on de Lord, and trusts in dem 
 promises." About that time a mad bull 
 came down the road with mud on his horn 
 and business in his eyes, and he was making 
 for the two darkies. One took to the woods 
 on this side of the road, and the other took 
 to the woods on that side. About a mile up 
 the road the old negroes came together again 
 
28 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 in the road, both puffing and blowing. 
 Brother Chauney said, " Look heah. Brother 
 Green, you 'lowed you didn't do nuffin' fo 
 yo'self, but dat you trusts in de Lord al- 
 ways, but I noticed dat when dat animal 
 come down de road, you took to your heels 
 jes lak I did. How you gwine to 'splain dat 
 in your theology? " Brother Chauney re- 
 plied, " Brother Green, I'se gwine tell you 
 how dat is. I don't think dar was any ob 
 dem wild animals loose w^hen de Lord made 
 dem promises." 
 
 Just trusting in the Lord. You hear me. 
 Whenever we put our faith into practice, 
 whenever we do like we believe, it is just a 
 question of time until we will win the world 
 to God. You can do it. You can't substi- 
 tute rhetoric and logic and belles-lettres and 
 beautiful sermons for the Power from On 
 High. And some pastors are leading the 
 way wrong by preaching occultism, social- 
 ism, and a thousand other isms. 
 
 I was at a big Chautauqua a year or more 
 ago, and I was to lecture in the afternoon, 
 and their purpose was to go from the 
 sublime to the ridiculous, so they put up a 
 great D.D. — dudle digger — to speak in the 
 morning. You know what a dudle digger is? 
 He is a fellow nearly out of a job. And that 
 
PHILOSOPHY, FACTS, AND FUN 29 
 
 old D.D. ; his lecture was on sociology. My, 
 what a lecture! Learned? He told us all 
 the ologies, biology, geology, and zoology, 
 and how he did capture that crowd. This 
 was his peroration : " Now, ladies and gen- 
 tlemen, in view of these facts of biology and 
 geology and sociology, the man that believes 
 that God created this w^orld just six thou- 
 sand years ago, and that on the finishing 
 day of creation he picked up a little piece 
 of mud and blew on it and a living perfect 
 man walked off and stumbled over an apple 
 and fell in a barrel of whiskey and is reeling 
 off to hell, — a man who will believe that 
 now will believe anything. Why, rather I 
 believe that the world has existed for mil- 
 lions of years, and God created man away 
 down among the lower animals and he has 
 come up higher and higher and higher, and 
 some day he will reach the stature of a full 
 man." He bowed himself off the platform, 
 and the people whooped and hollered. He 
 walked down, took my arm, and walked off 
 with me, and I said, " Hello, Bud, you dug 
 up more snakes to-day than you can kill the 
 balance of your life. It is a sin and a shame 
 for a minister of God to dig up snakes and 
 throw them on the crowd, for you can easily 
 unsettle the beliefs of the weak these days, 
 
30 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 but it is mighty hard to settle them back 
 again/' " Well/' he said, " Jones, I think 
 there is less harm in the promulgation of 
 truth than in the suppression of truth." 
 " Yes, but," I said, " you don't know but 
 that everything you stated was a lie. Now," 
 said I, " will you, the next time you deliver 
 your great sermon on sociology, will you 
 slip in a parenthesis for me? " He promised 
 that he would, and then I said, " Tell the 
 people I heard your lecture and that I didn't 
 like it. I don't like a joke on God; and tell 
 your neighbors that I didn't know the modus 
 operandi of creation, whether God on the fin- 
 ishing day picked up a piece of mud and 
 blew upon it and a living, perfect man 
 walked away and stumbled over an apple 
 and fell into a barrel of whiskey and then 
 into hell; I don't know what that means; 
 but I do know, for I was right on the spot 
 when the thing happened, that the Good 
 God did come down to Cartersville, Ga., 
 nearly thirty years ago and picked up the 
 dirtiest piece of mud in the town, called 
 Sam Jones, and blew upon it, and a living 
 man for God and right has been walking 
 forth from that day to this." And I believe 
 the breath of the Almighty is omnipotent ! 
 But to hurry through. The finest girl is 
 
PHILOSOPHY, FACTS, AND FUN 31 
 
 the young lady who makes her mother her 
 sweetheart, and who loves her mother more 
 than she does all this world. I know what 
 I am talking about. I married a Kentucky 
 girl, and thank God, she was a " mammy 
 girl." I never saw such devotion in my life 
 as I have witnessed on the part of my good 
 wife toward her sweet old mother. The last 
 many years of her life she came from her 
 Kentucky country home and spent the win- 
 ter with us. And oh, such devotion ! I was 
 preaching in a great camp-meeting in Balti- 
 more, and got a telegram from my wife at 
 Cartersville, saying, " I take the train this 
 morning for mother's home, she is quite ill, 
 I will keep you posted." By wire the mes- 
 sages came every day, and the fourth day 
 she wired, " Come, I don't think mother can 
 live." I took the first train, and when I got 
 off at Eminence, and got into the buggy and 
 drove to the country home, I jumped out of 
 the buggy, and wife met me on the front 
 porch, and I scarcely recognised her. I 
 never saw such a change in human looks. 
 She threw her arms about me and said, 
 " Mother is gone, but she did want to see 
 you and talk with you so bad." It was 
 nearly six months before I dared hope that 
 my wife would ever get over the stroke 
 
32 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 caused by the death of her mother, who was 
 eighty-six years of age, and wife was nearly 
 fifty-one. You give me the girl that will 
 stay by her mammy ; and boys, when you find 
 that sort of a girl, you drive your ducks up 
 to that market and sell them. And if you 
 can not sell them give them away, — that's 
 the thing to do right there. The girl that 
 will stay by her mammy is worth her weight 
 in gold. 
 
 Again ! The finest boy is the boy, twenty- 
 one years old, who can stand on the 
 threshold of manhood, and look back to his 
 cradle and say, " Thank God, from the 
 cradle to manhood, I have never put a cruel 
 foot on the heart of my sweet mother, a 
 single time." That's the finest young man 
 you have got. Boys, hear me! I step into 
 the inner circle of my home, with its secrets 
 of life, and tell you this : I would sit by the 
 mother of my two boys, when they were off 
 at school, — and that is the most dangerous 
 period with Ajnerican boys. I would get 
 home from a long trip, and after supper, and 
 the evening prayers, and the girls retired, 
 wife and I alone, she would pull down the 
 letters she had gotten from her boys, and 
 read me one and another and another, with 
 interludes of what I thought of this letter 
 
PHILOSOPHY, FACTS, AND FUN 33 
 
 and of the next, and so on. That ni^Iit she 
 talked so long and late, she melted my whole 
 nature. I said, " I am going to watch and 
 wait, and catch the last word that this 
 mother says to-night." And that night, just 
 before she closed her eyes in sleep, she 
 turned her face toward me and said, " Hus- 
 band, do you reckon it goes well with my 
 boys to-night? My precious boys ! " When 
 her heavy breathing told me that she had 
 gone to sleep, I said, " I am going to watch 
 and catch the first words of this mother in 
 the morning." And the morning came with 
 the light peering through the blinds; she 
 opened her eyes, and turned her face and 
 said, " Husband, I dreamed all night about 
 my boys, I wonder if it goes well with my 
 boys." Can a boy run over a heart like that 
 and make a man? You can't do it. God 
 has got it fixed so that you can't. 
 
 I have never known a boy nor a girl who 
 loved and honored a mother that they did 
 not come to the highest destiny of human 
 beings : I have never known a girl or a boy 
 yet to turn a back on a good mother, and 
 trample her heart under their feet, that 
 didn't come to grief. God help you, young 
 man, to stay by your mother. She is the 
 best friend you will ever have. I am going 
 
34 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 to throw this little picture out ; take it home 
 with you, boys, young ladies; it is not 
 poetry, nor is it a dream. 
 
 One calm, bright, sweet, sunshiny day, an 
 angel stole out of heaven, and came down to 
 this old world, and roamed field and forest, 
 city and hamlet; and just as the sun went 
 down he plumed his wings and said : " Now 
 my visit is out, and I must go back to the 
 world of light, but before I go I must gather 
 some mementos of my visit here''; and he 
 looked over into a beautiful flower garden 
 and said, '' How lovely and fragrant these 
 flowers are," and he plucked the rarest roses, 
 and made a bouquet, and said, " I see noth- 
 ing more beautiful and fragrant than these ; 
 I will take them with me/' But he looked 
 a little further and there saw a little bright- 
 eyed, rosy-cheeked babe, smiling up into its 
 mother's face, and he said, " Oh, that baby's 
 smile is prettier than this bouquet; I will 
 take that, too." Then he looked just beyond 
 the cradle, and there was a mother's love 
 pouring out like the gush of a river, to- 
 ward the cradle and the baby, and he said, 
 "Oh, that mother's love is the prettiest 
 thing I have seen on earth ; I will carry that, 
 too ! " With the three treasures he winged his 
 way to the pearly gates, and lit just on the 
 
PHILOSOPHY, FACTS, AND FUN 35 
 
 outside, and said, " Before I go in I will ex- 
 amine my mementos," and he looked at the 
 flowers, and they had withered ; he looked at 
 the baby's smile, and it had faded away ; he 
 looked at the mother's love, and there it was 
 in all its pristine beauty and fragrance. He 
 threw aside the withered flowers and the 
 faded smile, and winged his way through the 
 gates and led all the hosts of heaven to 
 gether and said, " Here is the only thing I 
 found on earth that would keep its fragrance 
 all the way to heaven, — A Mother's Love." 
 
II 
 
 THE WORLD AS IT IS AND THE 
 WORLD AS IT OUGHT TO BE 
 
 Frank Stanton, the Georgia poet, says: 
 
 "This old world we're living in 
 Is mighty hard to beat; 
 You get a thorn with every rose. 
 But ain't the roses sweet ? " 
 
 THIS is a great world in which you and 
 I live, brother. There may be larger 
 worlds, iand grander andbetter worlds 
 than this; but this is a great world. Its 
 mountains are God^s thoughts piled up ; its 
 prairies God's thoughts spread out; its 
 rivers God's thoughts in motion ; its flowers 
 God's thoughts in bloom ; its harvests God's 
 thoughts in bread; its dew drops God's 
 thoughts in pearls; and, wherever we look 
 about us, every object smiles back upon us, 
 and says, " I am but the gift of a gracious 
 Father to his wayward children." 
 
 This is not only a great world, but the 
 people in this world are very badly spoiled 
 36 
 
WORLD AS IT IS AND OUGHT TO BE 37 
 
 people. Nothing pleases them. There is noth- 
 ing the world to-day reminds me so much 
 of as a big family of spoiled children. See 
 that old banker, president of a ten million 
 dollar bank? At three o'clock in the after- 
 noon he steps into his landau and drives off 
 down the street. He stops in front of a beau- 
 tiful candy and fruit store, and orders some 
 of the rarest candies and fruits for his home. 
 By and by, sitting in his palatial home, he 
 sees the delivery wagon driving up, and he 
 turns to his children, and says, " Children, 
 if you will go to the pantry, I expect you 
 will find something to your liking. I have 
 ordered you some nice things.^' Only two of 
 the children walk out of the room. Directly 
 one of them comes back with candy in one 
 hand and fruit in the other and says, " Papa, 
 what do you get this old stuff for? Nobody 
 wants it.'' That kid needs killing. But see 
 that old country brother drive into town 
 with his wagon, with chickens and eggs to 
 barter for the necessities of his home. When 
 he is about through trading, there is still 
 about ten cents due him, and he returns to 
 the merchant and says, " Wrap me up a 
 pound of that red stick candy." The candy 
 goes in with the other bundles. He drives 
 up in front of his home, and when he gets 
 
88 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 near the house, a half dozen little tow- 
 headed children run out and say, ^' Papa, 
 what did you bring us? " He unwraps the 
 bundle of candy, and gives each little fel- 
 low a stick. They go out under a shade 
 tree, sit down on the greensward, look at 
 each other, and say, " We've got the best 
 papa in this world. Just look what he has 
 brought us." Those children ought to grow 
 up, and multiply and replenish the earth. 
 They are grateful. 
 
 We have reached a point in this country 
 where we are satisfied with nothing. A man 
 who gets a million wants another million. 
 If he gets ten millions then he wants to be 
 as rich as Rockefeller. And then he wants 
 the whole world fenced in and fixed up for 
 him. What if a man is as rich as Rockefel- 
 ler? What is that compared with the State 
 of New York. And suppose a man owned 
 the whole State of New York, what is that 
 compared with the balance of America? 
 And suppose one man owned the whole 
 United States, what is that compared with 
 the balance of the world? And suppose a 
 man owned this w^hole world? Why, you 
 could put two such worlds in your pocket, 
 and go out to the dog star and stay all night, 
 and you wouldn't have enough to pay your 
 
WORLD AS IT IS AND OUGHT TO BE 39 
 
 hotel bill. This whole thing is comparative. 
 The more we get of anything the more we 
 want. Out in Utah a man wants every 
 woman in the country for a wife. Some men 
 can't get along with one, and I never could 
 understand how they could get along with 
 two, much less four, or a dozen. The more 
 you get the more you want. 
 
 But happiness in this life is found in ab- 
 stinence. Happiness in this life is found in 
 absolute temperance, in everything. Happy 
 is the man that don't want much. Happy 
 is the man w^ho is blessed with but little. 
 Every man wants but little here below, 
 and he don't want that very long. I am 
 very well pleased with this world! It 
 is really the best world in which I have ever 
 lived. And this world is a thousand times 
 better to me than I have been to it ; I have no 
 kick or complaint. I don't kick any way. I 
 am like the fellow that got both legs cut 
 off by the train. They gathered around, 
 and began condoling with him. He looked 
 up and said, " Gentlemen, I am not 
 kicking." 
 
 I not only have a thousand great blessings 
 to be thankful for, but I have a great many 
 things, in a negative sense, to be thankful 
 for. I thank God I am not bow-legged. The 
 
40 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 hardest thing in the world to do is to marry 
 off a bow-legged man. The town girl won't 
 have him because she can't sit in his lap. 
 The country girl won't have him because he 
 can't keep off the grass. I am glad I was 
 not born bow-legged. I am glad I am not 
 cross-eyed. Two cross-eyed fellows met one 
 another round the corner, and they had a 
 head-end collision. One bounced back and 
 said, " Why don't you look where you are 
 going?" The other said, "Why don't you 
 go where you are looking? " I thank God 
 I have never licked anybody; that I never 
 stole anything; that I never committed a 
 crime for which I was arrested; and yet, 
 other men, perhaps, as good as myself, in 
 temptation, have done those things. And 
 when we sit down and think over not only 
 the blessings we have received, but the many 
 things the grace of God has kept us out of, 
 we ought to go through this world with a 
 smile of gratitude on our faces, at every 
 step. 
 
 A fellow had two neighbours. One of 
 them was always growling. He met him one 
 morning, and said to him, " How are you? " 
 He replied, " Not so well to-day as yester- 
 day; and not near as well yesterday as the 
 day before. And if I don't die of disease 
 
WORLD AS IT IS AND OUGHT TO BE 41 
 
 pretty soon, I will starve to death.'' And he 
 said he hurried away from that fellow, and 
 went round the corner and met another 
 neighbour, and said to him, " How are you 
 this morning? " " Ha, ha, never better." 
 "Is your family well?" "Ha, ha, well! The 
 measles struck us ten days ago, and nine of 
 the children are down with the measles, and 
 it would make a dog laugh to watch my wife 
 out among the speckled children. It is the 
 funniest thing I ever saw." 
 
 Once I got hard up and went down and 
 sold the best suit I had to get bread, and I 
 had my shoes half soled, and that night some 
 fellow stole my shoes, and the next morning 
 the snow was ten inches deep, and I got up 
 and looked out of the window, and saw a 
 man on a wagon with no feet, and I said, 
 " I would rather have feet and no shoes than 
 shoes with no feet." I like the fellow that 
 goes along without growling. This world 
 is an ungrateful world. If there is anything 
 we ought to cultivate to make this world 
 w^hat it ought to be, it is the spirit of grati- 
 tude. There is no more commendable spirit 
 in this world than the spirit which thanks 
 God and thanks his fellowmen for the many 
 thousand kindnesses shown him along the 
 way. 
 
42 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 Another thing; this world is not what it 
 ought to be, in its financial intercourse. It 
 seems like now every fellow without scruple 
 is after the dollar. The way to hide any 
 deviltry in this world is to cover it over with 
 dollars and cents, and then you can't see any 
 wrong. When times began to tighten up in 
 1893 plenty of good fellows wanted me to 
 stand for them at the bank. I stood for 
 them. I did not know what it meant, but 
 shucks, I know now. I will venture the 
 assertion that I have paid out forty thou- 
 sand dollars in the last five years, standing 
 for fellows, and now when a fellow comes 
 to me and wants me to stand for him, I say, 
 " Shucks, I am lying down myself ; I don't 
 stand for anything." The biggest fool in the 
 country is the fellow who will sign his name 
 to another fellow's notes. You bankers 
 don't act right. If a fellow comes to you, 
 and wants to borrow money, you tell him if 
 he will go and get so and so on his note, 
 you will let him have the money. Why don't 
 you get on the note yourself? You get the 
 interest. 
 
 The biggest fool in the United States to- 
 day is the fellow that dulls his conscience 
 with dollars and cents. This world is in 
 debt. The national, state, the municipal, 
 
WORLD AS IT IS AND OUGHT TO BE 43 
 
 and individual debt of this country never 
 will be paid. They don't calculate to pay 
 it. They pay the interest until they can not 
 pay it longer, and then they go into bank- 
 ruptcy, and reorganise ; and it is an absolute 
 impossibility for the world to pay its debts ; 
 and there ought never to have been a debt in- 
 curred. The biggest fool in this country is 
 the man who will go on another fellow's 
 notes. The next biggest fool is the fellow 
 going into debt. It is our imaginary wants 
 which keep us in debt. 
 
 Then you step into the church world ; and 
 the thing is not moving along like it ought 
 to. We will all admit that. You can abuse 
 the churches and laugh at the preachers, but 
 I want to tell you I have watched the pro- 
 cession move until I know this is true; the 
 best men and women living on this earth, 
 those who are really the salt of the earth, 
 are the faithful men and women who be- 
 lieve the word of God and march to the 
 tune of his grace in the church every day. 
 Suppose you go to St. Louis, Kansas City, 
 Chicago, and New York, and to every city in 
 the Union, and turn the community over to 
 the gang — uninterrupted, unmolested, and 
 uninfluenced by the good people of the com- 
 munity. It would not be very long before 
 
44 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 these communities would go to the very bot- 
 tom of anarchy and ruin. You know I thank 
 God for every churchman in my town. 
 There are some trifling members, but I am 
 talking about the good members. The devil 
 has worried me a heap about the trifling 
 members in the church. One day I was sit- 
 ting quietly at home talking to my wife. I 
 said, " Wife, I have learned a new trick on 
 the devil.'' She said, " What is it? " I said, 
 " He has worried me almost to death. He 
 trots out an old hypocrite and says to me, 
 ^ What do you think of him?' When he 
 does it, I propose to trot out old Brother 
 Loveless here in town. One of the best old 
 men God ever made, and ask the devil what 
 he thinks of him. And the devil will have to 
 walk off." Whenever the devil trots out a 
 hypocrite, you trot out a first-class man, and 
 the devil." She said," What is it?" I said, 
 else at once. And if you have not got one, 
 import one. The women are the best part 
 of the church, but the good women spend 
 more for Easter bonnets, and rigging every 
 spring than they give to God throughout the 
 year. They will dress up and rig out in all 
 their Easter style, and go to church, take a 
 front seat, and sing, 
 
WORLD AS IT IS AND OUGHT TO BE 45 
 
 ^^ Must Jesus bear the cross alone. 
 And all the world go free? 
 No, there's a cross for every one. 
 And an Easter bonnet for me." 
 
 How are you going to save the world with 
 a gang like that? You can't do it. And 
 you, dear old brother, you will sing, 
 
 " Am I a soldier of the cross ? " 
 
 You are no soldier, you are just home 
 guards. You are like the soldier in the 
 midst of the fight, who threw down his gun 
 and ran. His colonel said, " What are you 
 running for? " " Because I can't fly." 
 
 Some years ago we were holding a kind of 
 a love feast in a city church in Atlanta, Ga. 
 I was talking on the church as an organised 
 force for God and right. I said. Suppose 
 the church of God was organised like a loco- 
 motive. A locomotive engine is like a pile 
 of organised iron ; that pile of scrap iron out 
 there on the ground is unorganised iron. 
 That iron, if you want to move it, you must 
 pick it up on the trucks, roll it into a car, 
 and hitch an engine to the car. See that 
 organised iron. That steam gauge as its 
 finger indicates one hundred and eighty 
 pounds pressure. Touch the throttle and 
 see that pile of organised iron go down the 
 
46 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 track a mile a minute, pulling its freighted 
 tons. The church is the organised force of 
 God. I said to the congregation, " Each of 
 you get up and say what part of the engine 
 of God's power you would rather be." One 
 got up and said, " I would like to be the 
 driving w^heels of God's engine. That is the 
 secret of her speed. They are under the 
 cylinder where the power is locked up.'' 
 
 Another said, ^' I would like to be the 
 cow-catcher, and run ahead, and keep the 
 track clear." 
 
 Another said, " I would like to be the 
 whistle, and sound the praises of God all 
 over the land." 
 
 I said to him, " We have got too many 
 whistles now. We don't want any more 
 whistles. The church reminds me of a 
 steamboat with the little engine about four 
 feet long, and every time the whistle blows 
 the boat stopped. When they would blow 
 the whistle the boat could not run, and 
 when it ran, they could not blow." 
 
 Another said, " Brother Jones, I would 
 like to be the throttle lever, so that when 
 God put his hand on me, things would 
 move." 
 
 And by and by a young fellow, about 
 twenty-six years old, who was a clothing 
 
WORLD AS IT IS AND OUGHT TO BE 47 
 
 mercliant in Atlanta, and one of God's 
 noblemen, got up, and I knew wlien he 
 stood up he was going to say something. 
 A royal, splendid fellow. I suppose he was 
 worth twenty thousand dollars. The only 
 trouble with him was his stinginess. He 
 was worth twenty thousand dollars, and 
 would not give but fifteen hundred dollars 
 a year to the church. That was all they 
 could get out of him. And he was worth 
 twenty thousand dollars! The stingy 
 rascal! I knew he was going to say some- 
 thing. That spring the pastor was taking 
 up a collection, the big, old, rich fellows 
 gave thirty and forty and fifty dollars, and 
 he stood up and said, " I made a donation 
 for Foreign Missions last fall, and I will 
 give five hundred dollars this spring to help 
 the cause.'^ He was a good one — all except- 
 ing his stinginess. He said, " Brother 
 Jones, let these other brethren be cow-catch- 
 ers, and throttle levers, and driving wheels, 
 and whistles. I am willing to be the black 
 coal which is pitched into the furnace, and 
 which is burned up, and which makes the 
 steam to carry on the work." 
 
 We have run out of coal. You good old 
 sisters, you kneel down and say, " Oh, Lord, 
 send the fire,'' and if God would drop a 
 
48 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 coal of fire on you as big as your finger, 
 you would say, " Ouch, I can't stand 
 it!" 
 
 We are making war on saloons. Of 
 course the preachers preach a temperance 
 sermon every year, and this is about the sub- 
 stance of it, " Brethren, wine is a mocker, 
 and strong drink is raging.'' You can't 
 run the devil out of town with a thing like 
 that. You ought to be loaded up to the 
 muzzle and shell the woods. The day has 
 come for the practical Gospel sermon, and 
 not so much theory. There is a tremendous 
 difference between the absorption of 
 truth, and the application of truth. A 
 fellow has the cramp colic and is tied up 
 in a double bow knot. By and by an old 
 dignified doctor comes in with a can of mus- 
 tard in one hand, and a dissertation on 
 mustard in the other. He walks up to the 
 bed, and says, " My friend, be quiet about 
 an hour and a half, and let me read you a 
 dissertation on mustard ; this mustard grew 
 in the State of Connecticut; it was planted 
 about the first of June and cultivated like 
 potatoes, and vegetables of a like char- 
 acter." 
 
 About that time another paroxysm hit 
 the fellow, and he said, "Good Lord, doc- 
 
WORLD AS IT IS AND OUGHT TO BE 49 
 
 tor, I don't care how it grew or where; 
 spread some on a rag and put it on 
 me." 
 
 It is the application of the thing which 
 does the work, not the dissertation. And 
 it is not the dissertation on truth, but the 
 plain, naked truth, slapped on the con- 
 sciences of men, that does the work. That 
 is what we want, and that is what the church 
 does not want. I like to see a preacher that 
 nobody can ride. Some of them can be rid- 
 den like the darky's old mule. He drove 
 into town on Saturday evening, driving his 
 old mule to a one-horse wagon. The darkies 
 gathered round him, and they said, " Uncle 
 Mose, have you swapped mules again? " 
 " Yes, and dat am de best mule I ever had. 
 Anybody can drive dat mule. The children 
 can drive him. You may have him if you'll 
 ride him." They said, " Take the harness 
 off him and we'll ride him." They took the 
 mule out of the shafts, and took the harness 
 off of him, and a darky jumped on the mule. 
 But he did not stay very long. And then 
 another, and another tried him, and met a 
 like fate. By and by a lean, tall fellow 
 came up wearing a number fifteen shoe. He 
 got on the mule, and the mule turned his 
 head this way and that way and went off 
 
50 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 down the road. When it got about six hun- 
 dred yards, he turned him, and he came 
 lagging back. He said, " Uncle Moses, in 
 justice this mule am mine; but I am not 
 gwine to take de mule. Dar aint no justice 
 in it. When I got on de mule, he turned 
 dis way, and dat way, and he seed my 
 feet, and he thought he w^as in shafts; he 
 don't know it to dis minute that I have been 
 riding him." 
 
 They are riding you preachers, lots of 
 times, when you think you are in shafts. 
 When the preachers give it to you, old 
 brethren, it don't do any good. I feel some- 
 times like doing with the church like an 
 old darky driving along a sandy, level 
 road with an old buggy, to which was 
 hitched a mule. The mule stopped. He got 
 out and tried to lead him, and he would not 
 go. He tried to drive him and he set back. 
 He got out, and got a bunch of fodder, and 
 held it in front of the mule, but he would 
 not budge. Finally, the old darky said, 
 " You old fool mule, you, I'll make you 
 pull." So he piled some straw and brush 
 under the mule, and set it on fire. The 
 mule moved up about four feet, and stopped 
 with the buggy over the fire, and burned it 
 up. That is the way with a good many of 
 
WORLD AS IT IS AND OUGHT TO BE 51 
 
 you church people. You just can't do any- 
 thing with them. 
 
 The saddest phase of our American life 
 is that the good old-fashioned and Holy 
 Ghost revival is played out in our country. 
 I have not seen a Holy Ghost revival in the 
 United States in the last five years. And 
 you have not. We need to get back to them. 
 I will give you an incident illustrating ex- 
 actly what I mean by bringing this world 
 where it ought to be. 
 
 It happened now just about twelve years 
 ago. I got off the train at the Union Sta- 
 tion in a city east of here, and four of the 
 preachers met at the depot. They said, 
 " Brother Jones, we meet you, and greet 
 you in the name of our Lord. We have fin- 
 ished the great tabernacle which seats eight 
 thousand people, and we have been holding 
 a meeting there. All the churches and pas- 
 tors have combined for ten nights, and God 
 is with us. And, Brother Jones, God is 
 going to give us the greatest revival you 
 ever witnessed in all your life. I said, " I 
 thank God for news like thaf They said, 
 " Brother Jones, we have reserved a suite of 
 rooms in our best hotel for you, or there is 
 a splendid private home that wants you as 
 their guest." I said, " I will let you decide 
 
52 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 it for me." Then they said, " We will put 
 you at the private home." I got in the car- 
 riage with two of those pastors, and we 
 drove out about a mile from the depot in 
 the suburbs, and stopped in front of a splen- 
 did home. They walked in with me, and 
 met the wife and mother, and I found her 
 to be one of God's jewels. In a few mo- 
 ments the daughter walked in, and I found 
 out afterwards she was one of the sweetest 
 Christian girls I have ever known. By and 
 by the husband came in. He was a whole- 
 sale dry-goods merchant, and my after- 
 acquaintance told me there was no better, 
 truer man in that great city. The next 
 morning was Sunday, and this man and his 
 wife and daughter went with me to the 
 great tabernacle, and on Monday morning 
 and Monday afternoon they were also 
 there. 
 
 Monday night we were sitting at the sup- 
 per table, and everything was nice and 
 pleasant. All at once there was a dull thud, 
 as though some one were falling on the soft 
 carpet in the hall. Instantly one of the 
 liveried servants waiting on the table shot 
 out of the dining-room, and closed the door 
 behind him; and I saw the light go out of 
 the faces of those around the table. Noth- 
 
WORLD AS IT IS AND OUGHT TO BE 53 
 
 ing more was said until I left the table, and 
 as I left the mother spoke up and said, 
 " Brother Jones, excuse us, we won't go 
 with you to the services to-night." I went 
 up to my room and got ready, and went 
 down to the meeting. After the meeting was 
 over, I came back and went to bed. The next 
 morning just as I waked up that servant 
 came into my room to see if I needed any- 
 thing. I looked at him, and I said, " Neigh- 
 bour, what was that disturbance in the hall 
 last night ? " He said, " Brother Jones, don't 
 you know about that? '' I said, " Nothing 
 at all." He said, " That is the poor, way- 
 ward, wrecked, and ruined boy of this home. 
 He came staggering in last night, and fell in 
 the hall." He said, "Mr. Jones, I don't 
 reckon there is a more depraved or aban- 
 doned boy in all the world than that; and 
 he has broken his mother's heart, and the 
 old boss rolls and tosses on his bed and 
 groans through the night; and that sweet 
 young lady here never goes anywhere. She 
 is heartbroken." And he said, " Mr. Jones, 
 in your meetings around in this country, 
 did you ever hear of such an afflicted fam- 
 ily? " I said, " I have seen scores and hun- 
 dreds of them." He said then, " I have 
 prayed every day to God to save that boy." 
 
54 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 I said, " Keep on praying ; God will save 
 him.'' 
 
 That morning when I got up from the 
 breakfast table, the mother followed me into 
 the sitting-room, and said, " Brother Jones, 
 I don't know what you have heard about it, 
 but that disturbance last night was my 
 poor, wayward, and ruined boy. When he 
 was seventeen years old, a better boy I never 
 knew. If he had a bad habit we did not 
 know it. We sent him off to college. He 
 came back at the end of four years, gradu- 
 ated in debauchery and ruin. And," she 
 said, " he has been back a year now, and we 
 have done everything that the heart and 
 soul of man can do; but he has gone from 
 bad to worse, and I expect he is the most 
 depraved boy in all this city to-day." She 
 said, " Just one question — in your meetings 
 did you ever see a family so sorely af- 
 flicted? " I said, " By the hundreds." She 
 said, "Will God save my boy?" I said, 
 " Let us get right down on our knees, now, 
 here together, and pray that he may." All 
 through the prayer I could hear her fervent 
 " Amen." When we got off our knees, she 
 stood up in front of me, with tears that 
 would not have stained an angePs cheek 
 running down her face, and she said, " Oh, 
 
WORLD AS IT IS AND OUGHT TO BE 55 
 
 will God hear that prayer and save my poor 
 lost boy?'' I said, "He certainly will, in 
 my candid faith and opinion." I said, 
 " Where is that boy? " She said, " He is in 
 the next room now, I heard him moving 
 about." She said, "You will have to be 
 very careful, he is so resentful if you go 
 about him." I tapped on his room door, 
 and a harsh, rough voice said, " Come in." 
 He was standing before a mirror, brushing 
 his hair, dressed, except his coat and hat. 
 When I stepped in I extended my hand and 
 said, " Young man, I am the guest of this 
 home. My name is Sam Jones; I thought 
 I would talk to you a little while, if you 
 don't care." He just turned deliberately, 
 put on his coat and hat, and, paying no 
 attention to me, started out by me. I 
 stepped in front of him and said, " Young 
 man, just a minute. I have been on my 
 knees beside that heart-broken mother of 
 yours, down in the sitting-room, as we 
 prayed; and now, young man, listen. Go 
 right downstairs, put your arms around 
 your mother's neck, and say, ' Mother, I 
 have drank my last drop, and debauched my 
 last night. Or else go back to the dresser, 
 pick up that pistol, load it freshly, go down- 
 stairs, and push the muzzle against the 
 
56 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 tender temple of your sweet mother, and 
 pull the trigger, and the angels of God will 
 clap their hands as she falls to the floor, and 
 thank God another angel mother is out of 
 suffering for ever." 
 
 He turned his face towards me, and a 
 more debauched face I never saw. He 
 said, " What can I do? " " Surrender your 
 life to God, and be an honour and blessing 
 to this home." He said, " What can a poor 
 dog like me do?" I said, "Surrender to 
 God." He said, " Mr. Jones, I am so tired 
 of this miserable life of mine. I see no 
 hope or chance." I said, " God will save 
 you, and make you an honour to this home." 
 " Oh," he said, " will God have anything 
 to do with a wretch like me? " I said, " Let 
 us get on our knees and ask God about it 
 right away." He dropped on his knees, and 
 I said " Pray." I could hear his sobs. He 
 arose and put his arms around my neck, and 
 said, " Mr. Jones, tell me the truth ; is there 
 any hope for a poor dog like me? " I an- 
 swered him there was. I said, " Don't go 
 out of this room to-day." He said, " If I do 
 not, I'll die." I said, " If you do, you will 
 die. Stay here; I am going to the taber- 
 nacle." 
 
 I went downstairs, and said, " Mother, go 
 
WORLD AS IT IS AND OUGHT TO BE 57 
 
 upstairs; your boy is on his knees praying. 
 He has promised me to stay in the room 
 until I get back. You go and stay with 
 him," She looked me in the face and said, 
 " Oh, is God going to hear my prayer? " I 
 said, " He certainly will." She went up 
 those steps like a young girl. When I came 
 back from the services, she was sitting by 
 the lounge stroking his nervous temples 
 with a gentle hand. I walked in and said, 
 " Mother, you can go. I will stay with the 
 young man." I said, '' What now, young 
 man?" He said, "Oh, Mr. Jones, nothing 
 but prayer will do a poor miserable 
 creature like me any good." I said, " We 
 will kneel and pray. You pray first." He 
 said, " God won't hear a miserable being 
 like me pray." I said, " Pray the best you 
 can." He started in, " Oh, God, for moth- 
 er's sake have mercy on me. If there is 
 any mercy in heaven let it come to a poor, 
 miserable, ruined dog like me." We got off 
 our knees, and he said, " Mr. Jones, don't 
 trifle with a poor miserable creature like 
 me. Do you think there is any chance for 
 me? " I said, " Of course there is." " Oh," 
 he said, "if God will save me ! " 
 
 That night I got up from the supper table 
 and said, " Mother, fix a cup of coffee, and I 
 
58 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 will take it up to the young man. He don't 
 Avant any supper. You go on to the services, 
 and I will bring him with me.'' She said, 
 " Are you going to take care of him there? " 
 I said, " Of course I am." 
 
 I carried the cup of coffee to him, and he 
 was so nervous he could not take it in his 
 hand and drink it. I poured it in the saucer 
 and held it to his lips. I said, " Get your 
 hat and we will go to the services." He 
 said, "Are you going to let me go to the 
 services? " I said, " Yes, it is the place for 
 you." He put on his coat, took my arm, 
 and we walked to the tabernacle. I set him 
 about four pews from the front, and all the 
 time I was preaching, he kept his nervous 
 eyes on me, and when I invited the penitents 
 forward, he came along with the others. I 
 walked out to him to encourage him, and he 
 was praying with all his heart. And to 
 make a long story short the third night 
 after that I saw that boy converted from the 
 crown of his head to the soles of his feet. It 
 has been twelve years ago, and he has never 
 drank a drop, and he has been a blessing 
 to that home from that day to this, and 
 all through these meetings he worked with 
 all his might with his old friends and com- 
 panions. I bade them good-bye when the 
 
WORLD AS IT IS AND OUGHT TO BE 59 
 
 meeting was over. I have had many a letter 
 from that mother and that young man. 
 Five years had gone by, and I was back in 
 that city for two hours between trains. I 
 got on a street car and ran out to that 
 home. I rang the door bell. The mother 
 being in the hall opened the door, and when 
 I stepped in she looked me full in the face, 
 threw her arms around my neck and said, 
 " Oh, excuse me, sir, but you can never 
 know in this world what you have done for 
 this home, and for my boy. From the day 
 you left us to this hour he has been an 
 angel of life and blessing in this home." 
 
 What we need to bring this world back 
 to where it ought to be is simply enough 
 of the religion of the Lord Jesus Christ, in 
 every human heart, to make us true and pure 
 and good. Then we will get the earth where 
 it ought to be. And when we get the earth 
 where it ought to be, it is not far from 
 heaven. Really you can stay right where 
 you are, when you get far enough, and God 
 Almighty will extend the streets of the New 
 Jerusalem, and incorporate you in heaven 
 forever. 
 
Ill 
 
 CHARACTER AND CHARACTERS 
 
 CHARACTER is the immortal part of 
 man. Character is that part of you 
 and me which shall outlive the stars. 
 Character is a very different thing from 
 reputation. My reputation is what men say 
 of me. My character is what I really am. 
 Reputation is like a glove that you may put 
 on and off at pleasure, or rend to pieces and 
 throw away, but character is the hand itself, 
 and when once it is scarred it is scarred 
 for ever. To say that a man has a good 
 character is to say the best possible thing 
 of him. To say that a man has a bad 
 character, you can say nothing worse of 
 him. My reputation is at the mercy of 
 every vicious tongue and pen in the world. 
 My character is in my own hands and out 
 of gunshot reach of man and devil. With 
 a good character no amount of calumny 
 or slander can harm me. With a bad char- 
 acter, slander and libel only state the facts 
 concerning me. 
 
 60 
 
CHARACTER AND CHARACTERS 61 
 
 The finest picture of character and repu- 
 tation I ever saw was at the shipyards at 
 Portsmouth, Va. In company with some 
 friends, we visited the shipyards there just 
 about the time the Texas was ready to 
 launch, and, walking around the great ship, 
 I asked the master builder how thick the 
 hull of the ship was. He said, " It was two 
 layers of steel about the thickness of your 
 hand.'' I asked him if those modern guns 
 would throw a ball through her wall. 
 " Yes," he replied, " as easily as a rifle will 
 shoot a lead ball through a white pine 
 plank." " What," I said, " and this battle- 
 ship to cost nearly three million dollars, 
 and you are to launch her out to be punc- 
 tured and sunk by the first well-directed 
 shot aimed at her? " " No," said he, " you 
 don't understand this ship. Let's go on her 
 upper deck. Come with me." When we 
 reached her upper deck, I looked at her 
 massive turret, I said, " My ! What are 
 those? " He said, " Those are her turrets." 
 I said, "What about them?" He replied, 
 " The walls of her turrets are twelve inches 
 thick, made of the best armor plate. There 
 is not a flat place on her turrets as large as 
 the palm of your hand. A ball fired at her 
 turrets would not stick, and if it did would 
 
62 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 do no harm.'' Then I said, " Why have her 
 so strong up here and so weak below? " He 
 said, ^' Mr. Jones, you do not understand 
 this ship. When she approaches battle, they 
 pump water into her hull and sink her on a 
 dead level with her turrets. Then you may 
 turn the guns of all battleships and forts on 
 her, and you can't phase her." "Well," 
 said I, " w^hat sort of guns wdll she carry? " 
 He replied, " No ship or fort can stand up 
 before her guns." 
 
 My reputation may be riddled by the 
 tongues and pens of others, but if I am a 
 man of good character I sink myself on a 
 level wdth my character, and then you can 
 turn the guns of earth and hell loose upon 
 me and you can't phase me. But when I 
 turn the guns loose from the turrets of my 
 character, nothing can stand before them. 
 
 Character is the result of the harmony of 
 forces in man. The great trouble w ith hu- 
 manity lies in the fact that it is all out of 
 harmony with itself. That something that 
 turned angels into devils has struck human- 
 ity a hard lick and knocked it all out of 
 harmony with itself. 
 
 A man's will may choose something, but 
 his judgment does not approve. Sometimes 
 will and judgment will agree, then con- 
 
CHARACTER AND CHARACTERS 63 
 
 science will pull back on him. Again will 
 and conscience and judgment may all agree 
 upon a night's debauch, and the poor fellow 
 wakes up saying, " I am sorry to think of 
 my head in the morning." Then whatever 
 else may be said for or against humanity, 
 we know it is not out of harmony with 
 itself. 
 
 Let a well-trained musician sit down at 
 that piano; he sweeps the board with his 
 fingers a time or two. A frown gathers on 
 his face and I hear the discordant notes of 
 the instrument. I ask him what is the 
 matter. He replies, " Two of these keys are 
 out of harmony with the others.^' Then 
 those two keys are out of harmony with 
 everything in all worlds that is in harmony. 
 I say to him, " Close the piano up and tell it 
 to put itself in harmony with itself.'^ He 
 replies, " The piano can't do if I say, 
 " Who can do it? '' " The man who made 
 it," he replies. When the man who made it 
 sits down and begins work, and brings those 
 two keys in harmony with the others that 
 are in harmony, then the whole instrument 
 is in harmony with everything in the uni- 
 verse that is in harmony. And man can't 
 put himself in harmony with himself, but 
 the God who made him can do it. When you 
 
64 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 and I go up into the presence of a Merciful 
 God, with penitence and prayer, He will 
 take us in His own loving hands and set 
 the Ten Commandments to music in our 
 souls, and every Christian duty to music in 
 our lives, so that ever afterwards when God 
 or the law shall touch a chord of our nature 
 it will vibrate and make music that would 
 charm an angePs ear. 
 
 Some men say God did not make them; 
 that they came up through evolution. I 
 have wondered, if that was true, when 
 Nature would evolute again, and would it 
 be a boy or a girl next time. I do not be- 
 lieve that we came from animalcules to tad- 
 poles, and from tadpoles to lizards, and 
 from lizards to squirrels, and from squirrels 
 to monkeys, and from monkeys to men. 
 Sometimes I believe in inverted evolution. 
 For when I have seen some men I 
 have thought they were headed towards 
 monkeys. 
 
 There can be no well-rounded character 
 without the harmony of forces. Liberty is 
 synonymous here with the word harmony. 
 Liberty means the privilege of doing right. 
 License means you may do wrong if you pay 
 the penalty. There is no liberty outside of 
 the boundary lines of the law. God has 
 
CHARACTER AND CHARACTERS 65 
 
 reserved for Himself no higher privilege 
 than the privilege of doing right. God 
 never moves in the realm of license, because 
 He does not want to do wrong. Therefore, 
 I say, the best thing a man ever did is to do 
 right, no matter what he may have lost in 
 money or so-called friends or political power 
 or social prestige. The worst thing a man 
 ever did is to do wrong, no matter how much 
 money he made or how much power he 
 acquired. Nothing will beat doing right. 
 Nothing is worse than doing wrong. 
 
 I have been hunting diligently for thirty 
 years for a man who had found something 
 that would beat doing right. I have found 
 only one and I met him a short while after- 
 wards and he said the thing had busted bad. 
 It would not work. 
 
 Character like everything else involving 
 principle must have foundation. Heaven is 
 topless, but it has an enduring foundation. 
 Hell is bottomless; it needs no foundation, 
 for there is not a principle involved in the 
 whole shebang from top to bottom. Our 
 Saviour guarded us at this point when He 
 told us about the man who built his house 
 on the sand, and when the rains and storms 
 beat upon it, it fell, and fell just at the time 
 that the poor fellow most needed a house. 
 
66 POPULAR LECTURES o^SAM P. JONES 
 
 Then He told us of the man who built his 
 house upon the rock, and when the storms 
 and winds came, it stood and stood just at 
 the time when he most needed the house. 
 However calm and quiet this day may be 
 with us, we may be sure that the storm will 
 come by and by. Therefore let's look well 
 to foundations. 
 
 If I were seeking an enduring foundation 
 for character, on what would I rest it? You 
 cannot make intellect the basis of char- 
 acter, because some of the most intellectual 
 people I ever knew had no character. Nor 
 can you make the will the basis of charac- 
 ter, because some of the most self-willed 
 people I ever saw were characterless. 
 Neither can you make conscience the basis 
 of character, because conscience is largely a 
 thing of education, somew^hat like the fellow 
 who said, when he first joined the church, 
 that any little thing he did wrong turned 
 his conscience, but he said, " I have got so 
 now I can steal a horse and it doesn't bother 
 me at all." Therefore the will, the intellect, 
 or the conscience cannot be made the 
 foundation of character. 
 
 If I was seeking an enduring foundation 
 on which to rest character, I would make 
 the affections the basis, for what a man 
 
CHARACTER AND CHARACTERS 67 
 
 loves and what a man hates determines his 
 character, and a man's power to love deter- 
 mines his immortality. 
 
 After placing a permanent foundation for 
 character I would build on this wise. High 
 over all I would put the law; right under 
 the law I would put the conscience, and 
 right under the conscience I would put the 
 will, and under the will I w^ould put the af- 
 fections. Now let law, with its radiating 
 light, fall down upon a well-enlightened 
 conscience, then let a well-enlightened con- 
 science get a good grip on the will, and 
 through the will subjugate the affections, 
 until the man loves everything that is right 
 and hates everything that is wrong, then he 
 will have a foundation as indestructible as 
 the soul is immortal. 
 
 Now, having laid the foundation well, I 
 would build character like they builded the 
 Temple of old, without the sound of a ham- 
 mer, and the first stone I would put on that 
 foundation would be faith. Faith in God, 
 faith in His Word, faith in my fellowman, 
 and faith in myself. Faith affirms, asserts, 
 declares. Doubt denies. One affirms, the 
 other is negative; no character was ever 
 builded by negations. The man who says, 
 / helieve^ and feels it in his blood and bones, 
 
68 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 is omnipotent. He who dallies is a dastard, 
 and he who doubts is damned. 
 
 Christian character is the highest type of 
 character in this world. The greatest 
 statesman this world has ever known was 
 the humble, trusting, Bible-reading, praying 
 William E. Gladstone of England. The 
 world's greatest ruler was the kindly, pray- 
 ing, godly, consecrated Queen Victoria of 
 England. The world's greatest warrior, in 
 my judgment, was the pious, God-loving, 
 and God-serving Robert E. Lee of Virginia. 
 
 Christianity is but the science of charac- 
 ter building and its laws regulate and its 
 precepts guide a life up into the highest 
 realms of true character. 
 
 With that stone w^ell down on the founda- 
 tion, the next stone I would lay on that 
 would be courage. Not so much the phys- 
 ical courage, that faces cannon and listens 
 to the rattle of musketry unmoved, but the 
 moral courage that flies in the face of a 
 vicious public opinion and stands for the 
 right. We learn in biographies of the great 
 and good, that God never chose a man to do 
 and dare for Him that moral courage was 
 not the supreme element in the character 
 of that man. Abraham, Daniel, and St. 
 Paul are but examples in the line of heroes 
 
CHARACTER AND CHARACTERS 69 
 
 who developed the highest characters. Cow- 
 ardice weakens, debilitates, and defeats. I 
 repeat it, it is not the courage that fights 
 with sword or gun, but it is the courage 
 that makes a young man say, " No, boys, 
 I won't do that. I would not bring a care 
 to my mother's heart for all you will get out 
 of that." The courage that makes a young 
 girl say, " No, I will not go with you. I 
 would not bring a sorrow to my father's 
 heart for ten thousand times all you would 
 get out of that." The courage that would 
 rather be right than rich; rather be pure 
 than be a prince; had rather have a con- 
 science void of offence than own the world. 
 With that stone well laid, the next one 
 I would lay on that would be knowledge, 
 for knowledge is the handmaid of char- 
 acter to dress its charms and make it lovely. 
 Ignorance may be bliss, but it is not char- 
 acter. Sanctified knowledge is the most 
 potent weapon in the hands of the good. 
 I do not mean by knowledge so much the 
 stuffing of the curriculum of a college in 
 the head of a boy, for I have seen a man 
 who spoke seven languages fluently, yet he 
 would tell a lie three times out of five as 
 he talked. I do not mean the knowledge 
 that comes so much in the research of books, 
 
70 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 but the knowledge which teaches how to do 
 all good, and at the same time teaches us 
 how to shun the wrong; the knowledge of 
 good and evil. In the absence of knowledge, 
 superstition and prejudice have the field. 
 But wisdom teaches us how to think, and 
 what to think, and what to do. 
 
 With that stone w^ell laid, the next one 
 that fits down on that, without the sound of 
 a hammer, is temperance. Not simply the 
 abstinence from intoxicating drinks; not 
 that something that prevents gluttony in 
 eating, but it is a balance wheel of human 
 life and character. That something that 
 regulates the life and makes me as good on 
 Monday as I am on Sunday. That some- 
 thing that enables me to do well whatever 
 I undertake, and leave nothing till to-mor- 
 row that I can accomplish to-day. It is the 
 balance wheel of the machinery of human 
 life, that regulates its movements. 
 
 With that stone well down, the next one 
 that fits on that is patience. Patience has 
 to do with temper, and temper gives ring 
 and resistance to mettle. No matter what 
 passions may have manifested themselves 
 in vengeance or hatred, patience tempers 
 and tones and regulates so that a man can 
 be an anvil, to be struck, as well as to be 
 
CHARACTER AND CHARACTERS 71 
 
 the hammer that strikes; to be an anvil 
 when he ought to be an anvil, and a ham- 
 mer when he ought to be a hammer. Pa- 
 tience is in its perfection in the home life. 
 Mother, if you had a little more patience, 
 you would be the best mother, and if you 
 had patience enough, you would be a grand- 
 mother some day. Patience and quiet are 
 twin sisters. He who is the most patient 
 has the best control of the tongue, for we 
 scarcely ever let temper get from under con- 
 trol until the tongue has started on its mis- 
 sion of deadly work. Patience is the gentle 
 hand we lay upon the turbulent spirit, and 
 calm it like the strokes of the master horse- 
 man calm the spirit of a wild and vicious 
 horse. Give me plenty of temper, but give 
 me absolute mastery of it, and I will do no 
 harm. There is no more unseemly sight 
 than a mother on a tear with her temper ; a 
 father giving vent to unseemly passions in 
 his home. "A soft answer turneth away 
 wrath.'' We can always control our tem- 
 pers if we control our mouths, and vice 
 versa. 
 
 The next stone I would lay down on 
 patience is God-likeness. This much I 
 know : the more I am like God in thought, 
 in life, in character, the farther I am away 
 
72 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 from things which debauch, and the nearer 
 I am to every helpful influence that en- 
 nobles character and develops the good that 
 is in me. There is no higher type of char- 
 acter than we find with those who walk 
 and talk with God. 
 
 The next stone that fits on that is broth- 
 erly love. Every man, my brother; every 
 woman, my sister. Each members of a com- 
 mon family, for we are all brothers. Many 
 of us, however, think we are but step- 
 brothers, not kin to each other. Like the 
 old Christian sitting on the roadside, who 
 had just taken the lid off of his dinner 
 bucket to eat dinner. An old tramp walked 
 up and said, " Mister, give me a little piece 
 of bread. I have no money, no home, no 
 bread." The old Christian cut him a slice 
 of bread and started to hand it to him, but 
 said, " Before I give it to you, I will ask the 
 blessing.'' He looked up and said, " Our 
 Father, which is in heaven, bless this bread 
 we eat. Amen." The old tramp looked at 
 him, and said, "Our Father in heaven?" 
 " Yes," said the old Christian, " He is our 
 Father." " Then," said the old tramp, " if 
 He is our Father, we are brothers, aint 
 we? " The old Christian replied, " Yes, we 
 are brothers." Then spoke the old tramp, 
 
CHARACTER AND CHARACTERS 73 
 
 " If we are brothers, cut me a thicker piece 
 of bread, and put some meat on it." My 
 idea of brotherly love is this. I have two 
 brothers in the flesh. If either of them had 
 a bed in his home, a plate at his table, a 
 dollar in his pocket, or a drop of blood in 
 his veins too good for me when I should need 
 it, the same I would not call my brother at 
 all. We are brothers and we should be kind. 
 There is not a sweeter, fuller, better word 
 in all the world than kindness. It was 
 simple kindness that always made my 
 mother's voice to me as sweet as an seolian 
 harp. It was mother's kindness that always 
 made the touch of her hand to me as soft 
 and gentle as the zephyrs put in motion by 
 the angels' wings. For kindness is the 
 mother of sentiment, and sentiment is the 
 divinest element in man. For it is senti- 
 ment that lends beauty to the landscape, 
 glory to a sunset, and fragrance to the rose. 
 He who has the most of sentiment is closest 
 akin to his mother, and he who is closest 
 akin to his mother is closest akin to God. 
 
 And now the building is finished, except 
 the keystone which we drop into the arch, — 
 Charity. Charity is the crowning virtue. 
 It is the keystone of the arch and not only 
 holds together, but ties together, and 
 
74 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 strengthens and ennobles every stone in 
 the great arch. Love to God and love to 
 man. Love in the home and love in the 
 church. Love in the world is not only the 
 force that brings us together in sympathy 
 and effort, but it is the crowning grace of 
 virtue, for God Himself is Love. A well- 
 developed character is the most beautiful 
 and symmetrical thing in the world. A lop- 
 sided character is the most unseemly. Look 
 on the broad, generous, noble, splendid 
 royal character, then look on the little, nar- 
 row, contracted, selfish, useless character, 
 and we have the two in the picture I now 
 give. 
 
 See the little streamlet as it leaps down 
 the mountain side, and passes along in its 
 healthful activity, and it passes near a pool 
 or pond, and the old pond hails it and says, 
 "Whither away, master streamlet?" The 
 little streamlet replies, " I am going to the 
 river to bear this cup of water which God 
 has given me.'' The old pond smiles in its 
 complacency, " Ah, you poor foolish thing. 
 We have had a backward spring and we 
 will have a hot summer to pay for it, and 
 you will be dried up then." " Well," said 
 the little streamlet, " if I am to die so soon, 
 I will use this blessing for the good of 
 
CHARACTER AND CHARACTERS 75 
 
 others while I have it/' The old pond 
 smiled again, and threw its arms around all 
 it had, and said, " I won't let one drop get 
 away. I know I will need it for myself by 
 and by.'' 
 
 And by and by the hot sun did come down, 
 hotter and hotter still, and how about the 
 little streamlet? The trees lined its verdant 
 course, locked its boughs upon its bosom, 
 and would not let a ray of the sun touch the 
 little streamlet. The cattle sipped its tide; 
 the birds sung its praise, and it went on re- 
 joicing in its useful verdant course. And 
 how about the old pond? The sun poured 
 down on its bosom, hotter and hotter still, 
 and by and by the old pond began to breed 
 malaria, and the winds scattered the ma- 
 laria over the settlement, and the people 
 had chills and fever. By and by the sun 
 came hotter still, then the frogs cast their 
 venom on its bosom. The cattle met at its 
 brink and would not touch its water, and 
 the birds flew away without a note of praise. 
 Then by and by God smote it with a hotter 
 breath, and dried it up from the face of the 
 earth. 
 
 And how about the little streamlet? It 
 ran on to the river, and gave all it had to the 
 river, and the river caught it up and carried 
 
76 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 it to the ocean, and the ocean sent up its in- 
 cense to greet the skies, then the winds, like 
 waiting steeds, caught up the clouds and 
 carried it thither until it stood right over 
 the little streamlet^s mouth, then God tipped 
 the cup and poured the water back into the 
 mouth of the little streamlet. Then the 
 streamlet, with its renewed life and vigor, 
 passed on down near the old pond, now 
 dried up. As it passed it began to sing : 
 
 " Old ponds may come, 
 And old ponds may go, 
 But I run on forever," 
 
IV 
 
 MANHOOD AND MONEY 
 
 THE biggest thing in the universe is a 
 well-rounded, royal, splendid man. 
 The smallest thing in the universe is 
 the person whom greed has dwindled, and 
 money has minimized. True manhood is hu- 
 manity at its highest point. There is noth- 
 ing better than character; there is nothing 
 lower than greed. When God makes a 
 royal, splendid man. He makes him as nigh 
 like Himself as He can. When the devil 
 fills us with greed, he makes us as nigh like 
 himself as he can. 
 
 The miser who spends his whole life ac- 
 cumulating his money, and in his old age 
 sits down upon his fortune with no capacity 
 for enjoying it, is a monumental fool. I 
 repeat it, the curse of this age is we have 
 put gold above God, chattels above charac- 
 ter, and mammon above manhood. We 
 have inverted God's order of things, and 
 money is on top and manhood at the bot- 
 tom. Happy is the man who enthrones God 
 77 
 
78 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 above gold, manhood above money, and char- 
 acter above chattels. Then he is moving 
 along, " right side up with care." 
 
 It is historically true that whatever a 
 nation or a man has made its ideal, if that 
 ideal be wrong, at last it has fallen down 
 under its ideal and died. Greece focalised 
 her life and centralised her whole being in 
 her literature, and at last poor old Greece 
 turned up her toes and died under a book. 
 Rome centralised her life and focalised her 
 whole being in her military power, and noth- 
 ing but a spear now marks the final resting 
 place of Rome. America has concentrated 
 all her energies upon the dollar, and shall 
 we at last lie buried under a silver dollar, 
 the intrinsic value of which is about forty- 
 eight cents? 
 
 One splendid, royal man will give more 
 character, and add more to the history of 
 a country, than all its products for a hun- 
 dred years. Gladstone gave more character 
 to England than all England's commerce 
 for a century. George Washington gave 
 more character to America, and added more 
 to her history, than Wall Street can do in a 
 thousand years. America will live on be- 
 cause of her Washingtons, her Jeffer- 
 sons, her Jacksons, her Lincolns, and not 
 
MANHOOD AND MONEY 79 
 
 because of her Vanderbilts, Astors, and 
 Rockefellers. 
 
 A man may be both rich and great. He 
 must be if he shall live. Abraham was 
 wealthy beyond the dream of our million- 
 aires, and yet his character was such that 
 we know him only as the Father of the 
 Faithful, and not as the wealthiest of the 
 wealthy. Manhood is enduring, is immor- 
 tal; nothing else is. 
 
 A gentleman asked another some time 
 ago, " How much property did Mr. So-and- 
 So leave? '' His friend replied, " He left all 
 he had. He didn't take a dollar with him." 
 It is not what we leave, but what we carry 
 with us. Manhood belongs to both worlds. 
 Lands and stocks and bonds and moneys 
 belong to only one world. This is demon- 
 strated in the fact that the rich man whom 
 the Bible calls Dives, when he left this 
 world, was without means by which he 
 could procure one drop of water to cool his 
 parching tongue, while the poor man, Laz- 
 arus, that fed upon the crumbs that fell 
 from the rich man's table, and whose only 
 doctor was the dogs that licked his sores, 
 when he left, joined the companionship of 
 those who were recognised as kings in both 
 worlds. 
 
80 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 A father may not have done mneh for his 
 boy when he endowed him with riches, but 
 a father has done the most and the best for 
 his boy when he rears him rightly and 
 starts him out at twenty-one with a charac- 
 ter as solid and a life as pure as that of 
 King Josiah. Agur was right when he 
 prayed " O, Lord, give me neither poverty 
 nor riches,'' for poverty handicaps and 
 riches demoralise manhood. A father and 
 mother who skimp and skin and save and 
 lay up for their children; who deny them- 
 selves of real comforts of life, in order that 
 their children may have their accumulation 
 of money, have reached the height of folly. 
 If your boy is of any account, he does not 
 need a dollar you may give him; and if he 
 is of no account, every dollar you leave him 
 will sink him. 
 
 Money is valuable only as it helps to de- 
 velop the manhood in you. It is a curse 
 when it is used for any other reason. Our 
 money to us should be what the wings of a 
 bird are to it. Simply the best means to 
 reach the end, or like a railroad train, sim- 
 ply a vehicle or thing to carry me where I 
 want to go. There is no virtue in poverty, 
 or any vice in riches. It is in the use 
 we may put it to. We may shine in the 
 
MANHOOD AND MONEY 81 
 
 midst of either, or we may ride them to 
 ruin. 
 
 There is something about one honestly 
 earned dollar that is worth a million, if 
 there is a dirty shilling in the pile. Almost 
 any fellow can make money, but only the 
 wise and good man knows how to use it. 
 The secret of accumulation is simply to hold 
 to what you get. Prodigality is as really a 
 manifestation of selfishness as stinginess; 
 wherever the object is simply self, whether 
 self puts it in its pocket or spends it on 
 appetite or passion, the effect on the person 
 is about the same. 
 
 One of the most marvellous wills in his- 
 tory was that made by one of our Southern 
 bishops. By reason of his position, he had 
 opportunity to accumulate quite a fortune. 
 But when he came to his last hours and 
 made his will, he simply said, after com- 
 mending his spirit to God through Christ, 
 " I give and bequeath to my faithful wife, 
 my little farm over in South Carolina. To 
 my widowed daughter and orphan children, 
 the income on my books. To my other chil- 
 dren," giving their names in order, " I give 
 nothing, not for the want of love, but for the 
 lack of means.'' 
 
 The world of commerce and the marts of 
 
82 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 trade furnish the battle field. The force on 
 the one side is greed and gain. On the other 
 side, it is character and manhood. What- 
 ever may add to my greed or multiply my 
 gain, hurts character, and whatever shall 
 build up my character and my manhood is 
 the thing to be sought at the expense of 
 money, ease, comfort, and everything. 
 
 The best sign of the times I see is the 
 fact that the spirit of benevolence grows 
 among men. The millions contributed to 
 the various charitable and benevolent causes 
 can hardly be computed year by year. 
 Think of one man, who has contributed 
 nearly two hundred millions. Another 
 nearly one hundred millions and scores 
 have given from five to twenty millions. 
 Hospitals, training schools, colleges, li- 
 braries, orphanages, etc.; the aggregate 
 annual benevolences to all these pile up 
 a sum that makes us stagger to look upon. 
 But after all it is better to be good than 
 great, better to be right than rich, and bet- 
 ter to have a conscience void of offence to 
 God and man than to own the world. 
 
 Riches are sordid, manhood is made up 
 of the best stuff in the world. Honour, in- 
 tegrity, uprightness, benevolence, kindness, 
 temperance, love, are some of the ingredi- 
 
MANHOOD AND MONEY 83 
 
 ents that make man immortal, and these ele- 
 ments dominated by a will that commands 
 the situation ; an inflexible will, not dogged 
 stubbornness; an imperious will, not hard- 
 headedness, but a will that chooses right, 
 and after that choice is made, abides the 
 choice. A will that chooses not to do wrong, 
 and stays by the choice, conscious that there 
 isn't enough money coined to change it, or 
 bullets enough moulded to alter the deter- 
 mination, and wherever intelligence, cour- 
 age, mind, is dominated by such a will, and 
 fostered and fed by every element that be- 
 longs to an upright man, the result is a 
 first-class character, and there is nothing 
 higher, nothing better, than that. 
 
 Take Governor Nichols, of Louisiana. 
 When he was Governor of the State, there 
 was a bill for re-chartering the Louisiana 
 State Lottery, and a more infamous thing 
 never cursed the American Republic than 
 that. Five years before the bill came up 
 for renewing the charter I was preaching 
 in New Orleans, and the first four days the 
 newspapers reported me pretty well. The 
 fifth I struck the Lottery, and, God bless 
 you, the papers dropped me like a hot cake. 
 They never knew I was in town any more. 
 They sprung the question, and I began the 
 
84 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 fight, and some of them gave me credit for 
 starting the ball in motion, there in New 
 Orleans, against that infamous scheme. 
 Now they had the Legislature, or as many 
 as they wanted of them — they had bought 
 them just like sheep or mules, so much a 
 head, and when they had the majority of the 
 Legislature, and everything was coming 
 their way, then they found out some way 
 that the old Governor was going to veto the 
 bill. So they walked into the Governor's 
 ofSce, and began to talk to him, and they 
 carried him out on a high hill, and showed 
 him all the kingdoms of the world, and some 
 one showed him that there was a million 
 of cash in it, if he wanted it, and the old 
 Governor saw what they were up to. He 
 reached over and got his crutch, and shoved 
 it under his arm, and spoke up, and said, 
 " Gentlemen, I see what you are up to. This 
 leg went off at the Battle of Manassas, this 
 arm went off at the Battle of Sharpsburg, 
 and this eye went out at Richmond ; but, gen- 
 tlemen, poor as I am, I want to say to you, 
 you can crush this other leg off here, and 
 this other arm off here at the joints, and jab 
 this other eye out, and I will go through 
 this life eyeless, and legless, and armless, 
 to a pauper's grave, but there ain't money 
 
MANHOOD AND MONEY 85 
 
 enough on earth to buy me. Get out of my 
 office ; get out of my office.'' 
 
 The highest type of manhood is to help a 
 brother in need. It is to me a beautiful 
 story, and I want you to hear it in closing. 
 I think I have run up on some things con- 
 nected with human life as beautiful as the 
 stars and as fragrant as a flower garden.. 
 And these beautiful things that memory 
 takes hold of now have all come to the sur- 
 face as diamonds in the rough, and they all 
 belong to the sturdy, stalwart men who pull 
 the throttle and bell cord of our railroads. 
 Take this one instance : In the collision near 
 Adairsville, Ga., some months ago, Engineer 
 Dobbs was mortally hurt. He was lying on 
 an improvised litter at Adairsville, when 
 No. 93 rolled down to the depot and stopped. 
 Engineer Dobbs looked up at the approach- 
 ing engine and said, " That's Van Bell on 
 that engine, isn't it? " They answered in 
 the affirmative. He said, " I want to see 
 Van." The wounded engineer was carried 
 back to the sleeping car. Van Bell got the 
 summons. He stepped down off of his en- 
 gine, and followed his brother engineer to 
 the sleeping car, and walked into the car 
 among the many passengers with his over- 
 alls on, and the smut of his engine on his 
 
86 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 face. He kneeled by the wounded brother 
 engineer's side, and said, ^' What can I do 
 for you/' The dying man said, " I want 
 you to pray for me." And the Christian en- 
 gineer knelt down in the sleeping car among 
 all the passengers, and lifted his voice in 
 earnest prayer to God for the soul of his 
 dying brother. He prayed earnestly and 
 fervently, and remained with him fifteen or 
 twenty minutes, until the wounded engineer 
 told him that he accepted the offered Christ, 
 and surrendered his heart to Him. Then 
 Van Bell bade him hold onto God by faith, 
 and when he was going back to his engine, 
 the conductor said to him, " Van, we have 
 lost twenty minutes." Van replied, " Yes, 
 but what is that? " I had rather lose my 
 job and help a dying brother get right with 
 God, than to hold onto my job and neglect 
 my brother." 
 
V 
 
 RAVAGES OF RUM 
 
 I BELIEVE that in the very nature of 
 things there will be issues between men 
 always, but I like a man; year in and 
 year out, up or down, straight or crooked, 
 let him be a man. As a speaker I must 
 take sides. Now you needn't ask me which 
 side of the question I am on; just slip up 
 and get the great ear of God Almighty, and 
 ask him which side He is on, then you 
 needn't come back to me at all ; just put me 
 down on the side God says he is on. If 
 you want to know which side I am on, you 
 go to any good mother in this town and ask 
 her which side she is on, and then you 
 needn't come back to me ; just put me down 
 with that good mother. If you want to 
 know which side I am on, you go to that 
 sweet, old mother, that many of us have in 
 this world, and whisper up in her ear, and 
 ask her which side of this fight she is on, 
 and you may put me down on her side with- 
 out asking me any questions at all. 
 87 
 
88 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 Now if I take the side that God is on, and 
 every sweet, good wife is on, and the old 
 mothers that have gone over into the better 
 world are on — if I am on their side, I can't 
 be very wrong, can I ? 
 
 Now let us talk like good neighbors and 
 friends. Which side are you on? I wish 
 you could see every fellow in God Al- 
 mighty's world that is on the side of liquor, 
 and see them march out into line, and if you 
 will march with that gang, I want to tell 
 you, you aint fit to associate with a buzzard. 
 Now that is the truth. Now if you will 
 just look at your crowd that is lined up 
 with you ; there ain't a dirty old bum saloon- 
 keeper, there ain't a crooked old devil that 
 wants to make money on liquor, there ain't 
 a dirty, disreputable negro in town that ain't 
 on your side ; and when you march out with 
 your gang, then I want to tell you, you ain't 
 fit for sausage — ^you ain't fit for bologna; 
 you are eleven-tenths dog, all the animal in 
 you is dog, and the human has turned to 
 dog, and that makes the other eleventh, and 
 you are eleven-tenths dog. There are some 
 fellows living here in this town, that if they 
 had some more hair and a tail they would 
 go to running rabbits to-night. Now, I don't 
 mean any reflection on a decent pointer dog 
 
RAVAGES OF RUM 89 
 
 when I am talking about that, and making 
 the comparison ; I don't want you to think 
 that I have let down at a respectable dog 
 when I compare some fellows to him, and 
 I want us to stay in a perfectly good 
 humour, because I want to tell you whiskey 
 fellows you won't get any fight out of me; 
 I won't fight you at all. 
 
 I want to say to you gentlemen, I came to 
 you just like I go everywhere else. I have 
 got no ill will or unkindness towards any 
 man on this earth; there aint a man in the 
 county, of any name and age, that I would 
 not go down on my knees at his side to-day 
 and pray God to give him as good a home 
 in heaven as I would ask Him to give me, or 
 my wife or children. I never fight men, 
 never fight anything, except the thing that 
 hurts men, and breaks the hearts of good 
 women, and brings sadness to the human 
 race. Those are the only things I fight in 
 the world ; and if any of you are offended at 
 anything I say, if you will come up to me 
 like a man, when I am through, and beg 
 my pardon, I will forgive you, because I 
 never bear malice towards anybody, and we 
 ought to make it up before we go out. 
 
 Now there are three ways by which whis- 
 key is dispensed in this country. You are 
 
90 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 listening to a man that is fiftj-eight years 
 old ; gentlemen, I have gone over this great 
 country of ours for thirty-five years, from 
 ocean to ocean, and from lake to gulf; I 
 have gone with both eyes open, with both 
 ears open, and I have seen and I have heard, 
 and I know what I am talking about. The 
 worst thing this side of the gaping gates of 
 damnation is the wide open saloon in a 
 town. That is the worst thing that God or 
 man ever tackled, and the best institution 
 that the devil ever inaugurated — a wide 
 open saloon. 
 
 Now the next worst thing to a saloon is 
 a dispensary. I mean in its influence and 
 effect. Now I know all about the dis- 
 pensary. You fellows up here do not, be- 
 cause you haven't been around them like I 
 have, and seeing the thing. 
 
 Now I know w^here the question gets the 
 biggest crowd of us poor fellows. There are 
 men in this city — and I w^ant to say they are 
 respectable men — who say if we are obliged 
 to have liquor, let us get the license and the 
 tax money out of it ; it aint right to have it 
 sold here and get nothing in return. Well, 
 now, I want to talk to you a little about 
 that. You know Judas Iscariot is put down 
 in the Bible as a pretty bad egg. He sold 
 
RAVAGES OF RUM 91 
 
 his Lord for thirty pieces of silver. You 
 know the more I see of some fellows the 
 more I think of Judas Iscariot. Old Judas 
 was the treasurer of the apostles, and money 
 got pretty low, and they walked up to him 
 and said, " If you will point Him out to us 
 we will give you thirty pieces of silver." I 
 think now that Judas said in his heart, 
 " That money will help us out mighty well ; 
 if I point Him out He will withdraw Himself 
 as He has done in times past, and He will 
 not be hurt or harmed by them. And he 
 took the money. And when he saw them 
 mock his Lord, as they platted a crown of 
 thorns and thrust it on his Lord's temples, 
 when he saw them spit on Him and buffet 
 Him, Judas went back and dumped the 
 pieces of silver at their feet, and said, " Take 
 your money back, I have betrayed innocent 
 blood." And they said, " We won't take it 
 back, see to.it"; and Judas left the money 
 lying at their feet and went out and hung 
 himself. You know that I think when a 
 man sells himself, and his wife, and chil- 
 dren, and town to these damnable saloons 
 and dispensaries, I think there is only one 
 thing for him to do, and that is, go out and 
 hang himself. What do you think about 
 that, old red nose? Judas had some con- 
 
92 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 science in him, but you want to put this 
 town and county in the attitude of selling 
 the most sacred things that God's eyes ever 
 looked at, and instead of taking the money 
 back, you want to take it and invest it, to 
 lighten your taxes and fix up your roads; 
 and you tell me, " Why, Brother Jones, 
 wouldn't you rather have open saloons than 
 blind tigers?'' Why don't you ask me 
 which I had rather have, smallpox or yellow 
 fever? I don't want either one. Why do 
 you want to have either one? 
 
 When you find blind tigers, you will find 
 a blind mayor, a blind council, and a blind 
 sheriff ; everything is blind. You can't run 
 them without having everything blind. You 
 know a pup will get his eyes open in nine 
 days, but there are officers in this town fifty 
 years old that have never got their eyes open 
 yet. Why don't you go to electing pups? 
 They will get their eyes open sooner. 
 
 Now hear me, with all the lights before 
 you, listen: When I look around over this 
 great State of Georgia — you know this is a 
 good State, and if God Almighty was ever 
 good to any people, he is good to us, there 
 aint no doubt about that — I want to say to 
 you, when I look up and see the merciful 
 goodness of God, and the immense blessings 
 
RAVAGES OF RUM ^ 93 
 
 He has bestowed upon us fellows, and then 
 Bee how we will lie out with the devil to 
 debauch one another, I am the most aston- 
 ished man on this earth ; and whenever Sam 
 Jones puts in a vote for saloons or dis- 
 pensaries, you can disfranchise me like a 
 negro, and never allow me to vote any more, 
 and I believe you will have done a good 
 thing for my country. You hear. Bud? 
 
 Now hear me: The saloon is the worst 
 thing that ever opened for business any- 
 where on the face of God's earth. The dis- 
 pensary is more debauching to the sentiment 
 of the community than the saloon, because 
 you take it out of the hands of the bull- 
 necked, white-aproned devil that stands be- 
 hind the counter and dishes it out at ten 
 cents a drink, to put the money in his own 
 pocket, and you put it in the hands of your 
 council, and your church members, dishing 
 it out to help pay the taxes; and my God, 
 what worse shape can you get liquor in than 
 to have it in the hands of the best people in 
 your town? You say, " Why, Brother Jones, 
 don't you think a dispensary will do less 
 harm? " I say it will do more harm, by de- 
 bauching the sentiment of your community. 
 The most debauched State in this country 
 to-day is South Carolina, where they are 
 
94 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 debauched in State, and county, and ballot ; 
 and the State of South Carolina is shoveling 
 the dispensaries out of existence, and they 
 say, we will tolerate you no longer. 
 
 Then your blind tigers. For you know a 
 blind tiger cannot run in this town without 
 the consent of the people that live here. I 
 will tell you what is the matter. You 
 needn't jump on your mayor and council. 
 When you march out like men and say this 
 thing has got to stop, it will stop, mayor or 
 no mayor, council or no council. 
 
 You hear me? You know the biggest 
 thing in this country? We talk about com- 
 bines and corporations and trusts; the big- 
 gest thing, thank God, on earth is the people, 
 and whenever they wake up you have got a 
 moral cyclone that will straighten things 
 out. You are laying around here waiting for 
 the officers to do it, when any twenty of you 
 can get in a hack, and drive around to these 
 fellows, and tell them to clean out and get 
 out of business, or you will not guarantee the 
 consequences — it will straighten things out. 
 You go around saying, blind tiger this, and 
 blind tiger that in the town. The trouble is 
 that you have got no men here; if I were 
 you, sister, when I got my little husband 
 home to-night^ I would make the children 
 
RAVAGES OF RUM 95 
 
 catch the little daddy and bring him in, and 
 I would pull the baby out of the cradle, and 
 put the little daddy in there, and make the 
 children rock the little daddy, and if he 
 didn't get a move on him, I would knock his 
 teeth out and nurse him till you wean him. 
 Anybody can go around talking blind tiger 
 this and blind tiger that, when all you want 
 on God Almighty's earth is some respect- 
 able, reputable, real genuine citizens. You 
 say the thing has got to stop, and it will 
 stop any day you say so. You say, " Brother 
 Jones, don't you think we had better have 
 some money out of it? " Now look here, I 
 want you fellows to hear every word I say 
 to you, and if any of you don't like anything 
 I say, if you will go outside the corporation 
 and wait till I come we will settle it; but 
 God bless you, I aint coming, you hear? 
 
 Now I am not here to abuse your mayor 
 and council. They are just about average 
 fellows of the town, and I could not abuse 
 them without abusing the whole business. 
 There never was a fellow mayor of this town 
 that you did not elect; there never was a 
 councilman that you did not elect; there 
 never was a sheriff that you did not elect; 
 there never was an officer in this county that 
 was not a matter of choice with you. 
 
96 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 Now listen to me. When you come np as a 
 good citizen, considering this question of 
 opening your doors and taking the saloon- 
 keeper into your town, to debauch our boys, 
 and wreck our homes, and break the hearts 
 of our wives, you have got up the biggest 
 question that intelligent citizens ever got 
 up in this world. 
 
 God bless you country folks. You country 
 fellows, you know what they want to do 
 with you? They want you to come in, and 
 sell you liquor, and you get drunk, and they 
 will lock you up ; they will get your money 
 for the liquor to pay their license, and then 
 lock you up. A country man that would 
 vote for liquor ought to be bored for the hol- 
 low head, and bled in the frog of the foot. 
 The town gets the money for the license, the 
 saloonkeeper gets the profits, and all the 
 poor country fellow gets is to be locked up, 
 find when the council meets they will get 
 you up before them, and then fine you for 
 getting drunk, and your poor wife has to pay 
 you out. Will a man vote for a tricky set 
 like that? 
 
 I love my wife and children, boys, and I 
 would rather walk down to that railroad 
 track, and lie down on it and let an engine 
 grind me into mincemeat before I would 
 
RAVAGES OF RUM 97 
 
 walk up to the ballot box and vote for liquor, 
 and wreck my home, bring disgrace to my 
 children, and break my wife's heart. You 
 can have your saloons, but I will fight them 
 every day God gives me to do it; you can 
 have your dispensaries, but I will say to the 
 tax gatherers, you can count it out as far as 
 I am concerned, and I will give my part of 
 it to the orphans' home ; if I have to send my 
 children to the orphans' home to live I will 
 fight it. 
 
 I will tell you another thing, and it is 
 the truth, if a preacher ever uttered the 
 truth : If any man will deliberately walk up 
 to the polls and put in a vote for the saloon, 
 he deserves that every boy he has got dies 
 a drunkard, and every daughter of his home 
 has to live in the embrace of a cruel, drunken 
 husband. In the name of God, if the saloon 
 is debauched then why not debauch the son 
 of every man that votes for them? 
 
 Now hear me; my boys may both die 
 drunkards, but they shall say at the bar 
 of God, and say it amid the sufferings of 
 hell, " My father fought liquor as long as 
 he had a fist to strike it, and kicked it as 
 long as he had a foot, and bit it as long as 
 he had teeth, and then gummed it till he 
 died." If there aint but one man on God 
 
98 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 Almighty's earth that will fight liquor any- 
 where and everywhere, by God's grace, I 
 will be that man; and you fellows stand 
 around and say, " I will lick him and beat 
 him to death for what he said down there." 
 You may take me and beat me to death, and 
 when you go home to your wife you will say, 
 " We beat Sam Jones to death." And she 
 will say, "What for, husband?" And you 
 will say, " Because he was standing up for 
 the women and children and for God-fear- 
 ing, sober, upright men, and I will beat any- 
 body to death who will speak in the interest 
 of my wife and children." Wouldn't that 
 be a nice tale to tell your wife? But if you 
 start that beating business around here we 
 will feed the buzzards on you. My God, a 
 man that would vote for a saloon ! It is bad 
 enough to lie for them. You know a fellow 
 can't help but lie when he is for the saloon. 
 You can put any old whiskey devil in an ash 
 hopper and pour water on him and he will 
 drip lies — he can't help it. 
 
 Now I will just take this thing and look 
 you in the face to-day, and I say it aint 
 any debatable question. Are you a father? 
 Yes. So am I. Are you a husband? Yes. 
 So am I. Are you a citizen of Georgia? 
 Yes. So am I. Are you endeavouring to 
 
RAVAGES OF RUM 99 
 
 do the best you can for your wife and chil- 
 dren? Yes. Then there aint any use talk- 
 ing about it, and if you are not for your wife 
 and boys I won't discuss it with you ; I aint 
 got no time to waste on you. I like to en- 
 counter a brave, true man, ever ready to use 
 his tongue, or lift his hand or pen in defence 
 of women and children, and whenever a fel- 
 low strikes a blow, or puts in a ballot that 
 will bring sorrow to a woman's heart he un- 
 mans himself on the spot. 
 
 Some of the cleverest fellows in this town 
 are for whiskey, but it is the devil in you. I 
 have seen the devil get in a hog, and you 
 couldn't drive him through a gate. I have 
 seen the devil get in a horse, and he can't 
 pull a hen off the roost; I have seen the 
 devil get in a man, and the devil was in him ; 
 I have seen the devil get in a woman, but 
 I never stayed to see what happened. 
 
 I want to tell you about that blind tiger. 
 A blind tiger can't live in this town unless 
 you patronise them, and any one who will 
 patronise blind tigers will go into the court 
 house and swear a lie about it. If I were 
 you I would tuck my tail and go home right 
 now, for Sam Jones fixed your clock right 
 then. Now he is afraid to lick me about 
 that, because the grand jury would get him 
 
100 POPULAR LECTURES o/ SAM p. JONES 
 
 sure, and get a bill against him, because 
 that would be an open confession to the 
 world, like the fellow that said he done it. 
 You know I didn't call any names, but every 
 fellow knows his number. 
 
 I want to say to you coloured people, you 
 just look around and see who are your 
 friends, and if you are going to let the saloon 
 gang vote you for liquor, then I want to tell 
 you, you deserve to be debauched and then 
 taken out and lynched, and it is the gang 
 that debauches you that lynches you every 
 pop. You have got some as good coloured 
 people as there are on earth, and there aint 
 enough money in whiskeydom to buy them, 
 and you are going to stand right on this 
 question. You hear this, you coloured men 
 out there, if there is a man on earth that 
 ought to let whiskey alone it is the coloured 
 man. God bless you, you will need all the 
 sobriety and manhood you can get, and 
 whiskey cuts that grit from you every day 
 you live. You may be as black as the ace of 
 spades, but be a black MAN, and not a black 
 DOG, and don't vote with these whiskey 
 devils. 
 
 Now, fellow citizens, hear me : The worst 
 thing you can open on God Almighty's earth 
 is a saloon. The next worse thing is a dis- 
 
RAVAGES OF RUM 101 
 
 pensary, that debauches your sentiment, and 
 puts your best people in control of the liquor 
 traffic ; and the next worse thing is the blind 
 tiger. There aint a saloon-keeper that ever 
 opened a saloon, but that he was as good as 
 the saloon ; there never was a saloon opened 
 in a town that wasn't as good as the law 
 that opened the way for it ; there never was 
 a law that opened the way for it that wasn't 
 as good as the voter that went up to the 
 ballot box and voted for it. 
 
 Now there is the saloon-keeper, the saloon, 
 the law and the voter, they all belong to- 
 gether, and, before God, do you want to 
 hook up with such a gang? We have pound- 
 ed them with argument on argument, logic 
 on top of logic, ethics on top of ethics, and 
 said to them, " One man makes liquor, an- 
 other man sells it, another man votes for it 
 to be sold, another man rents the house for 
 it to be sold in, another man dies drunk on 
 it, all these make each, a link in a chain." 
 We have put the drunkard, the end link, at 
 one end, and the old deacon that votes with 
 the party that licenses it at the other end, 
 and we have talked to them like this, 
 " Drunkard, where are you going? " He re- 
 plies, ^' I am going to hell." '^ How do you 
 know it? " He replies, " The Bible says no 
 
102 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 drunkard shall enter into the kingdom of 
 heaven." We walk back to the other end 
 of the chain, and say to the old deacon, 
 " Where are you going? " " I am going to 
 heaven." We ask, " How do you know it? " 
 He replies, " I was converted to God way 
 back yonder forty years ago, and once in 
 grace, always in grace." We replied to him, 
 " You old fool, when the other end of this 
 chain goes into hell, chook, the old deacon 
 will go in with the balance of the links, 
 and ought to go, and will feel absolutely 
 at home when he lands. He will be with 
 the gang that he runs with here, how- 
 ever much he may outclass them in 
 pretensions." 
 
 The temperance people of the United 
 States may be divided into two classes. 
 First, the Prohibitionists, and, secondly, the 
 Local Optionists. The Prohibitionists ad- 
 vocate the extermination of the traffic. The 
 Local Optionists say, " Let the people of 
 every county and hamlet in the United 
 States settle it for themselves." 
 
 The first class stand at the very source of 
 the river of dissipation, and stand saying to 
 the liquor traffic, " If we can prevent it, you 
 shall not push or throw another boy or man 
 or woman into this river." The other class 
 
RAVAGES OF RUM 103 
 
 of temperance people, good-hearted, good- 
 natured, backboneless crowd, are standing 
 away down the stream of dissipation, and 
 try to get busy pulling out the poor drunk- 
 ards, and trying to save them from a drunk- 
 ard's grave. The first class pray and vote 
 Prohibition. The second class can al- 
 ways be found in the ranks of the Demo- 
 cratic or Republican parties, and that class 
 of temperance people had rather see whiskey 
 flowing ankle deep all over the United 
 States, with a dipper hanging on a limb of 
 every tree, and all America floating to hell, 
 than to see the Grand Old Democratic Party 
 defeated at the polls. They vote one way 
 and pray another. They are all right for 
 temperance three hundred and sixty-four 
 days in the year, and then take a furlough 
 on election day, and do all the devil wants 
 them to do to perpetuate the traffic, that he 
 may debauch the country. 
 
 There are three classes upon which the 
 guilt of this traffic rests. First, those who 
 favor the license ; second, those who deal in 
 the traffic, and, thirdly, those who drink it. 
 The first class are rascals, the second class, 
 hypocrites, and the third class are fools, and 
 when you ring up that whole crowd, you 
 have got a combination of rascals, and hypo- 
 
104 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 crites, and fools, in spite of the fact that 
 they are nearly forty to one as they stand 
 upon the voting list of America. 
 
 If the Prohibitionists of this country 
 could go to the United States Congress, and 
 ask for the prohibition of the traffic, the poli- 
 ticians would reply, " We can't do without 
 the revenue we get from that direction." 
 Go to the Legislature, and they reply, " Our 
 educational fund comes largely from the 
 liquor traffic." Go to the municipality, they 
 Bay, " We need the money the liquor traffic 
 supplies." 
 
 It is the last retreat for a pusillanimous 
 coward and scoundrel to want to jerk his 
 tax money from the heart's blood of the 
 women and children, the best that God ever 
 made. When I can't pay taxes on the last 
 piece of property I have got, I am ready to 
 go to the poorhouse of my county and die 
 an honourable death. You talk to me about 
 you want the money out of it. Your money 
 perish with you! On the day you go up 
 to the ballot box and put a vote in for 
 the saloon you have unmanned yourself, be- 
 cause you have said, " I think more of the 
 liquor traffic and the money it will bring 
 than I think of my wife, than I think of 
 my children." Away with your money, if 
 
RAVAGES OF RUM 105 
 
 I have to run the Avheels of the liquor traffic 
 over my wife and children. 
 
 But this thing is all a joke. When the 
 liquor crowd counts up their vote in this 
 county they will tuck their tails, for that 
 settles them for ever, it will never be raised 
 again; we mean business; those fellows 
 won't know what hit them the next morning 
 after the election. 
 
 Now hear me, the boys in this county have 
 grown up from boyhood to young manhood, 
 and never saw an open saloon in the county, 
 and now by your vote you want to open 
 them up and show them what they are. God 
 pity a citizenship that wants a thing like 
 that. Now of all men on God Almighty's 
 earth you country men don't want the sa- 
 loon. The country is where all the boys 
 come from that are fit for anything. You 
 have got a lot of little lobsters in this town, 
 sitting around, playing pool, and living with 
 their mothers, and having their washing 
 done at home. God deliver me from the 
 poolroom gang. There ain't a poolroom 
 gang anywhere that there is not a blind 
 tiger within one hundred yards of it. They 
 said to me in Atlanta, " Oh, the poolroom 
 men w^ere respectable men. That fellow is 
 boarding with his widowed mother and hav- 
 
106 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 ing his washing done at home." Some of 
 them say, ^^ You are impugning my hon- 
 our ! '' You little fool, you haven't got any 
 honour. 
 
 Talk about the saloons. I would rather 
 see ten mad dogs turned loose than one 
 saloon. If a mad dog bites your child he 
 may die, but his pure spirit will go home to 
 God, while the saloon will damn his soul 
 for ever. If you want to turn loose some fel- 
 lows that have got to have some money, just 
 inaugurate a set of burglars. They will take 
 all a fellow has got, but cannot hurt his 
 character, and he can make more money; 
 but you turn the saloon loose, and you put 
 him where he can't make any more money, 
 and take all he has. I think the burglar is a 
 gentleman beside the saloon-keeper, who 
 takes all the poor fellow has and sends him 
 to hell at last. 
 
 In a county where I was pastor, a good, 
 clever-hearted country fellow, like many of 
 you, drove into town with his last bale of 
 cotton on his wagon and sold it. His little 
 boy had on cotton pants that struck him 
 at the knee ; he didn't have any coat. After 
 he had sold the cotton he said to the little 
 boy, " You hold the horses and I will be 
 back in a little while." He went off to the 
 
RAVAGES OF RUM 107 
 
 saloon, and after he had stayed an hour, 
 the poor, pale little boy left in the wagon, 
 shivering with cold, crawled down on his 
 poor, feeble, benumbed limbs, went across 
 to the saloon, went in, and up to his father, 
 and said, " Father, please come on and let 
 us go home ; I am so cold out yonder." The 
 father set down the glass of liquor, and lift- 
 ing his strong right hand, struck the poor 
 little fellow on the side of the head, knock- 
 ing him against the wall with such force that 
 he rebounded from the wall to the floor. The 
 little fellow put his poor little hand to his 
 head and went back to the wagon and 
 crawled in, and some time later his father 
 staggered out to the wagon, and he drove 
 him home. The next morning when the man 
 woke up his wife said, " Get up and go for 
 the doctor; little Johnny has the highest 
 kind of a fever, and the side of his face is all 
 swollen, and since midnight he has been out 
 of his head; get up and go for the doctor." 
 The poor little fellow had never told on his 
 father. He got up and went for the doctor, 
 and the doctor came and examined the 
 child, and said to the mother, " Both lungs 
 are on fire with pneumonia, temperature 
 one hundred and eight ; he won't live to see 
 the sun go down." The next morning that 
 
108 POPULAR LECTURES 0/ SAM P. JONES 
 
 man walked into the sitting-room and 
 kneeled down by the corpse of his little boy, 
 and fell on his face, and said, " Oh, my 
 God, is there any mercy for a man that 
 would treat his little boy as I have?" 
 
 When the whiskey drinker looks around 
 him and sees that the stuff he is drinking 
 made his neighbour murder his wife, an- 
 other neighbour butcher his children, an- 
 other kill his mother, another shoot down 
 a friend, when he sees that the stuff he is 
 drinking made other men do deeds like 
 these, then he must be an infernal fool to 
 pour the same stuff down his throat. 
 
 When I was in New Orleans, a poor 
 woman — the papers were full of it — was liv- 
 ing in a little shed-like home, trying to cook 
 the little simple meal one day, and her little 
 baby was playing in the front room, a poor 
 little pale drunkard's child and as it was 
 sitting there, the drunken father came in, 
 and as he walked up to the child it shrank 
 away and screamed, and he lifted his cruel 
 rough shoe and kicked it, and its brains scat- 
 tered over the floor. He turned and walked 
 out to the saloon across the street. The 
 mother came into the room after he had 
 gone, and there was the little one lying with 
 its brains over the floor. She knelt down 
 
RAVAGES OF RUM 109 
 
 by it, pushed her arm under its little form, 
 and went over to the saloon ; just as she en- 
 tered her husband was lifting a glass of 
 liquor to his lips, and the blood gushed from 
 his lungs and he fell dead. She rushed up 
 to the counter, dashed her child on it, and 
 said to the saloon-keeper, " Sir, you have 
 murdered my husband and child, now 
 please, sir, take a pistol and blow my brains 
 out!" 
 
 You talk about licensing a thing like 
 that. I would shoot my brains out before 
 I would do it. You look out how you use 
 the sacred ballot. A ballot has got a man 
 behind it, and you have got to answer for it 
 at the bar of God. 
 
VI 
 
 GET THERE AND STAY THERE 
 
 THERE are two classes that ought to 
 be especially interested in the sub- 
 ject under discussion. The Presby- 
 terians and the Methodists. The Presby- 
 terians ought to be specially interested in 
 how to get there; they can beat the world 
 staying there, but they are a little slow 
 about getting there. The Methodists ought 
 to be specially interested in how to stay 
 there. They can beat the world getting 
 there, but they are back again next morn- 
 ing before breakfast. 
 
 This phrase, " Get there," is peculiarly 
 an American phrase. It was born in the 
 last decade, amid the whistle of our engines, 
 the rush of our commerce, and the click of 
 our telegraph, and there is no phrase so 
 expressive of the life and energy of our 
 American people as the one we select for 
 the subject of this lecture. 
 
 First, I might stand here and talk for 
 the time allotted me, on how to get there 
 
 110 
 
GET THERE AND STAY THERE Ul 
 
 socially. But really, when we get into 
 society, we have not gotten very far or very 
 high. The dude and the dudine are the 
 highest expression of nineteenth century 
 social life, and after all a dude is nothing 
 but society gone to seed. A father was one 
 day walking down the streets of a city with 
 his little son. They met a dude. The little 
 fellow turned and looked up at his father, 
 and said, " Papa, what was that? '' The 
 father answered, " It is a dude, son." The 
 little fellow said, " Papa, who makes 
 dudes? " The father answered, " God 
 makes them, I suppose.'' " Well, then," 
 said the little fellow, " God loves to have 
 fun as well as the balance of us." 
 
 But God didn't any more make a dude 
 than he made a drunkard or a liar or a 
 gambler. It is a perversion of every God- 
 given instinct in any man to turn out in 
 either of these directions. I have seen 
 social life in this great country from the 
 Atlantic to the Pacific; from the home of 
 the millionaire in the East, to the wigwam 
 of the Indian in the West; from the White 
 House in Washington, to the humblest 
 cabin in our Southland, and I deal can- 
 didly with this audience when I say that 
 the finest type of social life on which my 
 
112 POPULAR LECTURES 0/ SAM P. JONES 
 
 eyes have ever looked is that plain, quiet 
 country home, where a noble father, and a 
 pious, painstaking mother, and the rosy- 
 cheeked, vigorous boys and girls grow up. 
 See them in all their life, so real and 
 earnest; so helpful and kindly, each to- 
 wards the other. See them as they gather 
 morning, noon, and night at the hearty meal 
 of the hour. See them when the day's work 
 is done, and the early bed hour comes, and 
 the old father gathers them around his 
 hearthstone, and takes the Bible from the 
 little table on which there sits the burning 
 lamp. He reads aloud a chapter to his wife 
 and children, and then they all kneel down 
 in prayer and devotion to God. Look on 
 that picture. I have thought I could see 
 God's old family prayer elevator come down 
 in the midst, and they all mount into it, 
 and go above the stars and commune until 
 they over-vaulted the very throne of God 
 itself. 
 
 There they linger, a few moments, look- 
 ing over the towering spires and jasper walls 
 of the city of God. Then they all come back 
 and retire for peaceful sleep, and next 
 morning before the early breakfast is an- 
 nounced, the same group will gather, and 
 the same God is worshipped. 
 
GET THERE AND STAY THERE 113 
 
 I want to say to you, my neighbour, that 
 it is out of homes like these that have 
 come the grand men and women who have 
 made the history of America worth writing 
 in the past, and it is from homes like these 
 whence shall come the noble men and 
 women who will adorn all future pages of 
 American history. The real home, the gen- 
 uine home, where character is fostered and 
 manhood is developed. 
 
 We can never lift this country up by 
 putting the leverage under State Capitols 
 or the National Capitol, but when we put 
 the leverage under the homes of this coun- 
 try, then we reach altitudes that will make 
 us honour God and make us the greatest 
 nation on the face of the earth. 
 
 Again, I might stand here and talk indef- 
 initely about how to get there financially. 
 But the game isn't worth the candle, for we 
 are all on a pilgrimage here, on a journey, 
 and the less baggage we are hampered with 
 on the way the better off we are. Shrouds 
 have no pockets, and if you have pockets 
 put in your shroud your arms will be so 
 stiff you can't put your hands in them. 
 
 The difference between being rich and 
 being poor is all incidental and not acci- 
 dental. That philosopher is yet to be born 
 
114 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 who can tell which is the best estate, to be 
 hungry as a dog and have nothing to eat, 
 or have the colic every day from eating too 
 much. I believe I had rather have nothing 
 than have the colic. That philosopher is 
 yet to be born who can tell which is the 
 best estate, to be a millionaire and roll all 
 night on his downy bed and not sleep a 
 wink, or be an old tramp on the roadside, 
 snoring so you can hear him a hundred 
 yards. The old tramp has got the drop on 
 him for the time being. 
 
 The man who puts gold above God, chat- 
 tels above character, and mammon above 
 manhood, has inverted God's order of 
 things, and his pathway will be downward 
 instead of upward. Many men will save 
 and skimp and skin to lay up money for 
 their children. They rob themselves of 
 every comfort, and the wife and mother 
 knows no surcease from toil and labour, and 
 frequently they lay down and die, and 
 leave all their hard-earned money to their 
 children, and the children, many times, buy 
 a through ticket to hell with what is left 
 them, and check their baggage through, and 
 never get off the train until they land. If 
 your boy is any account, he does not need 
 your money. 
 
GET THERE AND STAY THERE 115 
 
 Then again, I might stand here for the 
 hour, and talk about how to get there polit- 
 ically. Really, if I wanted to ruin a man 
 for both worlds, I would run him for office, 
 and see that he was elected. You ask, 
 " Can't a good man go into office? " Yes, 
 and frequently they do, but who ever heard 
 of a good man coming out of office? A clean 
 hog will go into a mud hole, but just look 
 at him come out. There is not a dirtier 
 cesspool of corruption this side of perdition 
 than politics in this country. A fellow 
 some time ago asked me was I Democrat. 
 I answered, " No." Then said he, " Are you 
 a Republican?" I said, "No, thank God." 
 Then, " Are you a Populist? " I replied, 
 " No ; are you a fool? " Then he said, " What 
 are you, Jones ? " I said, " I am a gentleman." 
 I suppose most of you would feel a little 
 awkward at the first trying to be a gentle- 
 man, but you would soon get around it, 
 and like it. Men may talk about the prin- 
 ciples of the grand old Democratic Party, 
 and the principles of the grand old Re- 
 publican Party, but I say to you, in the 
 fear of God, that the highest patriotism 
 and divinest principles that ever stirred 
 the American heart are the patriotism and 
 principles which honour a wife, shield a 
 
116 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 mother, protect a daughter, and send the 
 boys of this country home sober to their 
 mothers. I am one American citizen who 
 thinks more of the boys of his home, the 
 happiness of his wife, and the sobriety of 
 his boys, than he does of any political party 
 that ever cracked a whip over a human 
 slave. If this makes me a traitor, then 
 brand me the biggest traitor in American 
 history since Benedict Arnold. 
 
 I have but two planks in my political 
 platform. I am for everything that is 
 against whiskey, and against everything 
 that is for whiskey. The curse of our poli- 
 tics is that men pray one way, and vote 
 another. A man who prays that his coun- 
 try may be delivered from liquor and his 
 boys from rum, and then gets off his knees 
 and goes down to the polls and votes with 
 these red-nose Democrats and Republicans, 
 ought to come to church next Sunday, and 
 sing, " Thank God, I am still on my journey 
 home," with his index finger pointing down- 
 wards as he sings. 
 
 The liquor traffic of America has more in- 
 fluence with the Democratic and Republi- 
 can parties than any other influence on 
 earth has, and the man who does not know 
 that fact hasn^t sense enough to vote at all, 
 
GET THERE AND STAY THERE 117 
 
 and if he knows it, and still votes with 
 them, then it seems that he was either a 
 hypocrite while he was praying or a hypo- 
 crite while he was voting. 
 
 We must locate the responsibility of this 
 liquor traffic somewhere. No saloon-keeper 
 is dirtier and meaner than his saloon. No 
 saloon is lower down than the law that 
 licenses it, and no law that licenses the sa- 
 loon is dirtier than the Legislature that 
 enacted it, and no Legislator can be lower 
 down than the voters w^ho put him in. 
 
 This problem, like all other problems in 
 America, is square up against the people, 
 and the people only. As for me, I am a 
 consolidated, concentrated, eternal, uncom- 
 promising, every-day-in-the-week, stand-up- 
 to-be-knocked-down Prohibitionist from 
 head to foot. 
 
 That there are principles in both the 
 Democratic and Republican parties that 
 are wise and good, and will live forever, I 
 won't deny, but I won't run with a 
 gang that is dominated by the whiskey 
 traffic, no matter how good they be nor 
 how wise. 
 
 But I will not spend the time talking 
 about how to get there, socially, financially, 
 or politically, but will now take a broader 
 
118 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 and better view of the subject. How to get 
 there in genuine manhood and noble char- 
 acter. 
 
 Get the right sort of a fellow, get him 
 in the right way, and then get a move on 
 him, and he will get somewhere soon. The 
 first spirit I would breathe into such a fel- 
 low, who really wants to go to the best 
 destiny, would be the spirit of life. Give 
 me a fellow with enterprise, and vim, and 
 push, and go. Motive makes a man go, like 
 steam makes an engine go. A man really 
 needs but tw^o motives. To illustrate what 
 I mean. I was going down a country road 
 in my buggy. My dog was following along. 
 We passed a country home, and a dog 
 jumped the fence and took after my dog. 
 My dog cut one eye around and saw him 
 coming, and decided on the spot. " The best 
 thing I can do,'' it seemed to say, " is to 
 move on." Daniel Webster never made a 
 wiser decision or acted more promptly on 
 it. He took off down the road in good style. 
 
 A little further along we passed another 
 house, and the biggest dog in the county 
 jumped the fence, and took after the middle 
 dog. Now, sirs, of all the running I ever 
 saw, that middle dog did it from right there 
 on. And well he did, for he had more 
 
GET THERE AND STAY THERE 119 
 
 reasons for humping himself than any dog 
 I ever saw. First he wanted to get on 
 ahead and catch the front dog and lick him. 
 And in the second place, he knew if that 
 behind dog caught him, he would clean him 
 up. That middle dog had the double mo- 
 tive, and was doing the tallest running I 
 ever saw a dog do. 
 
 Every man on earth has that double mo- 
 tive. The mark of the prize alluring him 
 onward and upward, and the devil and all 
 his angels pressing from the rear, and we 
 all have motive enough to keep us moving 
 a mile a minute down the pike. 
 
 All things may come to him who waits, 
 but the fellow who has the move on him 
 will get the prize far in advance of the 
 one who is w^aiting. Not the fellow who 
 stands around waiting for something to 
 turn up, but the fellow who gets under it 
 and turns it up. Not the man who waits 
 for the iron to get hot, but the one who 
 pitches in and pounds it till it is hot, and 
 then shapes it as he wills. Not the fellow 
 who stands on the banks of the river of de- 
 cision and shivers and shudders and dreads, 
 but the one who runs and leaps into 
 the current and swims to the other shore. 
 The man, who, if he cannot go over an ob- 
 
120 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 stacle goes under, if he cannot go through 
 he will go around. 
 
 If I had this spirit thoroughly infused 
 into a fellow, the next spirit I would give 
 him would be the spirit of courage. The 
 man who sees clearly the right thing to 
 do, and who has the courage to do it, and 
 the sense that sees that it will pay to do it; 
 this is the fellow that wins. A man with 
 the moral courage to stand out against pub- 
 lic opinion. 
 
 Moral courage is superior to physical 
 courage. Many men will walk up to the 
 blazing mouth of the cannon without a 
 quiver of a muscle and afterwards cower, 
 and wince, and whine in the presence of 
 public opinion. And it is not the courage 
 that tanks up on liquor and carries a pistol 
 in the hip pocket, for I never see a cowardly 
 dog with a pistol in his hip pocket that I 
 don't warn him that that pistol will go off 
 some day and blow his brains out. 
 
 To fight is the first thought of a bulldog, 
 and the last retreat of a gentleman. I was 
 asked some time ago if I would fight if a 
 fellow hit me the first lick. I said, " I 
 would if he hit me the second lick." The 
 man said, " How is that? " " Well," said I, 
 " when a man smites me on my right cheek. 
 
GET THERE AND STAY THERE 121 
 
 and I turn my left, and he smites me on 
 that, then I have no further instructions, 
 and I will proceed to keep the flies off him 
 till the procession moves on." 
 
 Not one man in a thousand is brave 
 enough to do right when the tide sets the 
 other way. It takes no courage to go with 
 the crowd, but the man who is willing to 
 stand alone in the right is the truly brave 
 man. 
 
 Again I would infuse the spirit of hon- 
 esty and fair dealing into a man whom 
 I would get there. The world honours and 
 gives the right of way to the honest man, 
 for he is the noblest work of God. Not 
 simply the man who will not steal, but the 
 man who lives up to and will die by his 
 convictions of right. Not simply the man 
 who will pay his just debts, but the man 
 who ^' sweareth to his own hurt and 
 changeth not." 
 
 Courage is an essential element in suc- 
 cess. Reckless men rise, but they will fall 
 down lower than they rose upwards. 
 
 Perseverance is another quality that I 
 would give the man who would " get there 
 and stay there." Many men have failed be- 
 cause they gave up too soon. Many men 
 have had pursuit but not persistence. For 
 
122 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 pursuit and persistence bring all posses- 
 sions. It is the never-let-up lawyer, the stay- 
 by-his-job workman, the faithful-unto-death 
 fellow that gets there and stays there. 
 
 With these elements thoroughly infused 
 into the man, and he is in the right way, 
 and headed in the right direction, he is the 
 man who will win. 
 
 When I see a young man choose the way 
 of uprightness, sobriety, industry, and hon- 
 esty, I need no tongue of prophecy to tell 
 me he will go to a grand destiny. But the 
 young man who chooses the way of the 
 saloon, and the gambling hell, and the 
 shameless houses, and indolence will hit 
 the grit, and hit it hard, and hit it a thou- 
 sand times. If the young men could see 
 that the way of the transgressor is hard 
 like the old man can see it, many of them 
 would choose the better way. Then let 
 them get a move on them. 
 
 I always like a fellow with go, and push, 
 and vim. In Kentucky I have been asked 
 to preach against the blooded horses, but I 
 like them. I have said, I hated to see a fel- 
 low raise colts and sell them for |50,000 
 apiece, and bring up boys that are not 
 worth a dollar a head. I like the fast 
 horses. Give me a horse like Lou Dillon, 
 
GET THERE AND STAY THERE 128 
 
 that will trot a mile in two minutes. I 
 tell you, to stand on the side of a race track 
 and see half a dozen runners prancing for 
 the start, then see them when the signal 
 is given, as they leap and lunge and run, 
 and then see them off on the home stretch, 
 with nostrils distended and muscles swol- 
 len. See them again as they run neck to 
 neck, and nose to nose, why, preacher that 
 I am, I " go one eye '' on that. But I have 
 not seen a thoroughbred horse race in 
 thirty years, and never expect to see an- 
 other. Not that I don't like the thorough- 
 bred horses, but I cannot stand the little 
 scrubby men that stand around and bet on 
 them. If you will breed up your folks as 
 highly as the horses are bred, I will go to 
 the race track, for the horses that are doing 
 the running are thoroughbreds, and the 
 little devils that are doing the betting are 
 little scrubs. I always like to race. When 
 I was a boy, there was not a boy in my town 
 with legs three inches within the length of 
 mine that could beat me running. If I 
 wrestled with him it was every dog fall on 
 his back in the sand. If he knocked a chip 
 off my head I would crawl him in a minute, 
 not that I was specially mad, but I always 
 despised a dull time. 
 
124 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 I was coming' from St. Louis to Cincin- 
 nati sometime ago on the B. & O. South- 
 western Limited train, and she was a 
 hummer. Fourteen miles out of Cincin- 
 nati the Big Four Railroad, coming from 
 Chicago, turns a curve, and runs parallel 
 with the B. & O. into the city. Then as 
 we ran up to that point, I looked over to 
 my left and saw the Big Four passenger 
 engine rounding the curve. She pulled 
 her train of passengers in line with us. We 
 ran almost a mile together. I could all 
 but hold the hands of the man in the oppo- 
 site car. Directly I began to feel racy, and 
 you can feel it come on. I looked around 
 and saw everybody else was feeling it, and 
 then I saw the race was on. 
 
 We had a great ten-wheel Mogul Bald- 
 win engine with twelve cars, counting the 
 two Pullmans. They had a lighter Schenec- 
 tady engine, with only six cars, counting 
 their one Pullman. Their lighter engine 
 with its shorter train, picked up its forces 
 and ran for ten cars ahead. I said to my- 
 self, " Shucks, this ain't no race at all. 
 They have beat us quick." But I could feel 
 every pulsation of power as our grand old 
 engine got down to her work with increas- 
 ing momentum, at every round of her 
 
GET THERE AND STAY THERE 125 
 
 wheels. Directly there was a little decline 
 in the track. Our engine picked up her 
 forces and ran down grade like a thing of 
 life, and when we turned the grade the Big 
 Four engine was right back at my side. 
 I said, " We will beat them now. We have 
 got them beat already." And I felt good all 
 over, and all the passengers in our train 
 seemed to feel that victory was ours. But 
 as I sat by the window I saw the fireman of 
 the Big Four engine scoop the coal into the 
 furnace, and when he shut the furnace door 
 I saw the engineer as he leaped from the 
 cushioned seat by his reverse lever. I saw 
 him shut off the cold water from his boiler. 
 He took hold of the sand rod and shook it 
 a time or two, and got hold of the lever and 
 pulled the throttle wide open. The little 
 engine seemed to lie down and roll over in 
 the sand. And the sparks began to fly 
 from their engine, and she forged ahead 
 directly; she seemed to leap ahead a hun- 
 dred yards. I said, " We are beat for 
 good." But our old engine, with increasing 
 momentum, was getting down to her work 
 with mighty force. There came another de- 
 cline in the track. She picked up her forces 
 and shot down the hill like a streak of 
 lightning, and just as we turned the grade, 
 
126 POPULAR LECTURES of SAM P. JONES 
 
 the Big Four engine was back again at my 
 side. I said, " Good-bye, boys, for good. We 
 have beat you now." But I looked again, 
 and saw that old fireman heaving the coal 
 into the furnace, and when he shut the door 
 he wrung the perspiration from his brow. 
 The engineer, with a determined look in his 
 eye, pulled the reverse lever up one notch, 
 and then shook the sand rod a time or two, 
 and pulled the throttle wide open, and the 
 little engine waltzed around a lick or two, 
 and then got up her speed and rushed right 
 in and beat the race, and I said, " Go it, go 
 it. I don't mind being beaten by a thing that 
 can run like that." It was great. 
 
 But my mind looks outward and upward 
 into the future, and some day I would love 
 to stand on some hilltop of heaven and see 
 every church of God like a mighty engine 
 out on parallel tracks, loaded down with 
 immortal men, pulling for the Pearly Gates. 
 The old Methodist, Presbyterian, Episco- 
 palian, Congregationalist, Cumberland, Lu- 
 theran, and Catholic engines, each trying to 
 beat the other with their freighted tons. 
 This will be a sight on which I would like 
 to look. 
 
 The old Methodist engine, the Presby- 
 terian engine, the Episcopal engine, the 
 
GET THERE AND STAY THERE 127 
 
 Congregational engine, the Catholic en- 
 gine, the Lutheran engine, and the Cumber- 
 land engine, with their freighted tons of 
 immortal souls, each trying to beat the 
 other to the Pearly Gates, and then look 
 down on the river and see the old Baptists 
 and Campbellites steamboats come down 
 the river as fast as their machinery can 
 move them. A sight like that would glad- 
 den the eye of angels and make all heaven 
 rejoice. 
 
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