NORTHWESTERN
UNIVERSITY
LIBRARY
Purchased from the
James H. Lawley
Memorial Fund
DISCOURSES;
Ufeful for ih.c Vain |
j$loDt(l) iLatiics I
A N D T H E I R i
GALLANTS,
Under thefe following Heads, njiz.
I. Of fome of the Common Wnys many Vertuous|
j Women take to lofe their Reputation, Gfc.
II. Of meet Beauty-Love, (3c.
i III. Of young Mens Folly in adoring young hand-
I fom Ladies, (3c.
IV. Of the Power Womens Beauty exercifes ovcrj
I moft young Men. ]
V. Of the Inconftancy of moft Ladies, eipecialJy
fuch as are crj-'d-up Beauties, (3c. " !
VI. Of Marriage, and of Wives who ufurp a Go-
Venning Power over their Husbands. |
VII. Of the Inequality of many Marriages, with
the fad End that ufually attend iuch Matches. |
VIII. Againft Maids marrying for meer Love, (3c.
IX. Againft Widows marrying.
X. Againft keeping of Mifles.
XI. Of the Folly of fuch Women as think to fhew
their Wit by Cenfuring of their Neighbours.
XII. Of the French Falhions and Drefles, (3c.
XIII. Of Worldly Praifes which all Ladies love to
receive, but few ftrive to deferve.
XIV. Ufeful Advices to the vain modifh Ladies, for
the well regulating their Beauty and Lives.
By the Right Honourable
F R J N C 1 S Lord Vifcount Shanmn.
Printed for^.T^yJor^zt thcShip in S.Ftfzd's Church-yard, 1696
(o ,
^^^'^r^e^^!e^e(kcatory'
To the Right Honourable
ELIZA B E T H,
Countels of Northumberland.
Madam,
My Lady ?. acquainted me
*twas your Defire, which
is ftill to me a Command, that^-
I fhould fend you this fmall
Book of Difcourfes and Eflays :
And tho* I know many of
the Subje<5ts they treat of to be
light and trivial, yet I immedL
ately concluded, tho' none of
thefe Difcourfes are worthy
year reading, yet all your Com-
mands are worthy my obeying;
and I had much rather the
World fhould know I write ill,
than you, Madam, fhould have
the leafl thought I obey you fo.
And I humbly beg you to be=:
lieve, Madam, that I do not pre:=
lent you this Book upon any
dependency 1 have of it's merit,
^ ^ ' a - - but
but meerly to publifli the obli-
gatioiis I owe you, which I mud
ever want ability to requite,
but lhali never lack judice to
acknowledge.
And I hope, Madam, you will
be the more eafily perfwaded to
pardon this great confidence,
when you conlider that felf-in-
tered now governs this World;
and fmce a a King can raife and
illudrate one of his meanedSub-
jedls, and render him Honoura-
ble by declaring him fuch ; fo.
Madam, tho' this is one of the
meaned Books Dedicated to you,
yet if you will be pleafed to raife
and honour it with your counter
nance, it cannot but thrive um
der lb great & noble aPatronage.
And pray. Madam, do not
think I write this Book out of
any hope to ftiew lb me Wit,
when really I never fo much as
thought of it; but meerly to
pub.
to
ai:
cai
wc
nis
liv
nol
ind
no?
eaicatory.
J publilh the great honour I have
tor you, ahd how humble a Ser-
^ vant I am to you : And you
know, Madam, 'tis as well a
Mark of Sovereignty to have
I one's Image flampt upon a Pen-
ny, as a Guinea,the meannefs of
it's value,nor the fmallnefs of
?! it's Image, not at all leffening
the great power of the Prince it
f reprefents.
No more can I, Madam, by
® placing your greatName to this
J fmall Book, in which your Vir-
tues being only meanly let olF
and painted but inDead colours,
can lefTenand echpfe your high
worth and fplendid merits
I know, Madam, there are
many great Ladies that keep a-
' live in theRoot theTitle of their
noble and ancient Families;but
^^ndeed there are very few that
^^ now-a-days bring any addition
)' !of Honour to their Houfe: But
pill
J he EvWe
all know, Madam,that you not
only keep alive in the Root, but
your Merits lpring,and flourifli
in all your A Virions, both to your
owmand FamiliesGreatHonour
and Reputation; for you not on-
ly live to the height ofgreatnefs
that any of cheEnglilhNobility
now do^buc to the height ofPie-1 g]
ty that any ofthePrimitiveChri*
ilians ever did; for you make it
your great delight to read God's
Laws, and your main concern
to keep his Commandmaiits,
never Itriving to procure a high
place in Court, but to fecure a
good one in Heaven;fi:ill court-
ing the good, not the great; ne-
ver flattering the powerful, al-
ways prailing the Virtuous^ be?
ing only a Servant to the Set?
vants of God,and not Courtier-
I ike an humbleServant inWords
to all ^ Icarce in deed a true
Friend to any,who feldom fpeak
what
an
Vi
b'j
&
wi
tm
dec
die*
ceiv
tod
dan
Iqvi
toy,
liji
yoiii
what they rhinii, and rarely
perform what they promife ;
their words being commonly,
not the Interpreters, but Dif-
W' guilers of their Thoughts.
But, Madam, you fHlI kept
your lelf in a kind of religious
'ill! retirement, out of the falfe and
glittering Scenes of the Court;
Ciiiand not only from the common
3k Vices and Vanities of England,
GKbut from the Foppilh Modes,
0K& high Extravagances oiFrance,
which were jult upon being na-
ikturaliz'd here mEngland, Knd\n-
lideed yoti differ from moft La-
ifdies, for they love much to re-
tjEceive Praifes, but flrive little
il,to deferve them ; but you, Ma-
is^ldam, drive to deferve them,but
jStlove not to receive them ; your
rtifgreat Humility adding a luftre
^ofto your high Quality, and your
tnliigh Quality,adding a luftre to
peyour true Humility,and a blef-
'fe a 3 fine
fing too ; for God ftili gives
Grace to the humble.
I (hall not here trouble you
much, Madam,with aCharadler
of the vain idle Vitiofo Fopps
of our time, nor here make it
my bufinefs to let out the vain
modifli Ladies of our age, fince j B
P
both make it their main con
cern to let out themfelves, tho'
in a very bad Figure but my
defign here is, that becaufe 1 did
in my Youth perfwade fome
young Wives to do what they
ought not, I would now in my
old age perfwade ail young
Wives and Women to do what
they ought, which is, Toremem-
ber their Creator in the Days of their
Touth^ ■a.nd to lirive more for
the true lafting Beauty of Ho-
linefs, than the flight fading
one of a fine Face, which is only
a meer out-fide Beauty ; but
the Beauty of Holinefs is like
the
af
it
tr(
he
El
M(
Pr,
Wj]
d
had
fori
his:
liev
the
DiMWj.
e the King's Daughter, all glo-
rious within, which will bring
% one an agreeable fatisfadlion
it whilft one lives, and a fweet
II peace of Confcience when one .
it Dies ; The other, but high and
/a! proud vain thoughts whilfi: her
Im Beauty lives ; and fad Frettings
CO! and Difcontents,when Ihe finds
t| it dies ; for ufually as the Mif-
tu trelTes Beauty leaves her, lb
14 her Lovers Love leaves him; for
foi EfFeiTs will follow their Caufe.
tli And tho' many of the vain
njModilh Ladies are guilty of
ooiPride, Vanity, and perhaps
y,!what's worie than both, yet
^0 mofl- of them are lb felLconceit-
ed of their own merit, as they
had rather judg the World Cen-
jiforious, than themfelves faulty;
j(j,jlike the Philofopher, that loll
pjjlhis fight, and yet would not be-
[jlieve hinifelf blind , but that
Room was Dark.
'Thi tLpjik
And now, Madam, being to-
wards tlie end of my Letter, I
ihail fpeak as all Chriilians do,
or at lea ft ought to do, at the
ending of their Lives, which is,
to fpeak the truth Irom the
bottom of their Heart, as I am
fure I now do, by laying, your
Virtuous Life,exemplary Piety,
and your extraordinary Chari-
ty, which is not like that of
moft great Ladies, whofe bourn
ty extends no farther than to
that great Friend , or this
near Kinfman , and that per-
haps more to inlarge their
own fame, than to relieve his
wants, and fo favours more
of Vain Glory, than true Cha^
rity : But, Madam, your Cha^
rity is lb generally good, and
bountifully great , as none
need a better Title to it, than
that of having a great need
of it. In a word, Madam, your
^ ' whof
whple Life has been a conti-
1 nued Series of noble and Pi-
i ous Actions, which has ren-
tt der'd your Fame fo compleat-
liE ly excellent , as you are not
ti only an honour to your Name,
li but a credit to your Sex, and
f a comfort to both rich and
k poor about you , for yon ob^
h lige the great by your extra-
lat ordinary Civility, and relieve
li the poor by your abundant
b Charity.
t Madam, your trouble of
t f reading this Letter being now
tit near at an end 'tis full time
fel that my Apology for giving
® it you Ihould now begin ; and
;0 becaufe 'tis a good faying I
r(j much like and follow , That
plain dealing is ftill the beft
m Policy, Truth being ever pi-
tk ^ur'd naked, f (hall tell you
iii here, Madam, the plain and
yu naked Truth hqw your Name
vli( came
came to be plac-d in the Front
of this little Book,
When my Lady P—acquaint-
ed me yon defired to fee it,
Ihe in a Rallying manner, bid
me fend it you with a fine
pijile Dedicatorj ; and I, in a
like Rallying manner, told her
I would ; and prefently writ
thus far of this Letter : But
upon my word, Madam, with-
out any thought or defign, that
it fhould ever come to your
fight, much lefs to publick
view : For afifoon as I had writ
it, I refolved never to (hew
it, or look on it more : But
being to buy the fecond part
of this Book to fend a Friend,
whofe Servant ftay'd purpofely
for it, after I had given it him,
and he was gone, talking with
the Book-Binder, he told me ,
he had very near fold all my
Books; upon which / promi^
fed
rTmrcmory
:oi led him one, but it feems / had
unfortunately forgot that I had
liileft this Letter in the Book
ei which I ordered to be carried
ikto him; and he finding this
Del Letter dedicated to your Lady-
iiihip, knowing the high Ho-
lifenour and great Efteem all
whave for you, concluded, That
; I your Name in the Front of this
wiBook, mull: needs Ifamp a
Value on it, and breed a Curi-
yjofity in many for it , and lb
Printed this Letter and placed
himy Name to it, confidering on-
Ifly his own profit by Printing
, |it, not your trouble in reading
jpjiit, or my difcredit in owning
jj(5:it. Affoon as I heard of it, I
po|- went immediately muchtrou-
Ijjjbled and furpris'd, to the Book-
binder, who defired me not
jjjjto be fo much concern'd, for
J n there were very few, if any,
,Q^;of the Books were fold that
f) had
had this Letter Dedicator y
to your Lady (hip Printed to
them, they being but juft come
out of the Prefs, and that for
paying his Charges for Print-
ing them, he would deliver
me them all, which I readily
confented to, and came a few
days after to receive them;
but this Book-binder was gone
out of the World, and by his
Death, my Book was difper-
fed in it, paft ail poffibility of
recalling.
This is, Madam, the plain
truth, how yonr Name comes
to be placed now in the Front
of this little Book, when it
was Printed fome few Years
before , without any Name to
it at all; and that your Name
is npw, I am much alham'd
of and humbly beg your Par-
don for it.
I have, Madam, in writing
thele
f
1
fa
f'
nil
fill
h
llecTrcatory'
tdi thele ^Difcourles , made it
it great concern to avoid all Roads
0® and Paths that Efl'ays ufually
ti Travel in, and treat of; but
tin really Virgin-Themes , and
frelhi Provifibn of Wit is now lb
adi ibarce to find , that many of
ff our belt Writers, and greateH:
a Scholars are often forc'd to ule
gO! cold Repetition Meats^ to fur-
I nifh out their Books, as well as
1[H good Ploufe-keepers are cold
tn Meats to let out their Tables.
And tho' good Cooks can make
3lat feveral forts of Dilhes out of one
)[iif kind of Meat, yet they cannot
roc with all their skill, make one
n, Difli to pleafe ail Paiats, like
;arthe delightful Manna in the
uWildernefs , that gave a plea-
[ffltfant Gufro anfwerable to every
^\Ifraelite*s differing Tafle : No
'ar-niore can one fort of Writing
fuit the Fancy of all kinds of
ins Readers. I am fure I do not
el! cxnevf
expe(fl theie Dilcourles fhouJd
pleale anv^ one, the^ being
Dull, and moll: of the Sub^
je(5is thep write of. Light aL
moh: as very Light, as the
airy Ladies they treat of, and
are deiigned for ; and therefore
I am fo far from pretending
in the lead, to any of my
readers Praifes, as / expedlnone
from any , but beg pardon of
all : And I truly wifh this Book
may perfwade the vain young
Ladies to beg God's : And that
as 1 defire my Readers excnfe
for my dull Writing , they
may their Maker's Pardon, for
their vain living, /amfurel
am doubly bound to beg your
Ladyfiiip's, both for giving you
the trouble of reading this
Book, and afliiming the Con-
fidence of placing your Name,
the' undefignedly, to it.
But
Dudic^orj,
Oil! But I will add no Excufes, know-
len ing a Conclufion to a d^li long Let-
Sill ter is ftiil the befl: Complement j I am
It i lure, Madam, 'tis the only one I can
5tl ever juftly pretend to make you, your
, at Merits being much above all my
refii: Praifes. I wifli I could as truly fay,
niii That your whole Life were above all
of I forts of Troubles, that your reading
fno; this might not prove one to you 3 but
bias'tis foolifh to fear what's unavoid-
sBotable, fo 'tis to wifli for Impollibilities,
'OiMllnce the moft steat, the moft virtu-
dtkous , and the moll happy in this
xciiiWorld are not free from Troubles,
tkbecaufe they cannot be free'd from
1, IiSin ; we are all unavoidable Tributa-
uffries to it, being all born in an origi-
fOUnal fervitude to Sin, without any cer-
^voitain meafure, or exadl number,
th But tho' the mifery of Sinning is
CoBunavoidable, yet we ought to make
ifllCour felves as Spiritually wife, and
Worldly happy as we are able, that
is, make our (Sins as few, and all our
'fSe'Ep/W'Sic.
Troubles (except for our Sins) as lit-
tie as we can 5 and therefore, Madam,
to make your Trouble the lefs in
looking this over, I fhall defire yon
to read it, but juft after the rate I writ
it, which was , when I had nothing
clfe to do. And for all my other
Readers, I only delire they will ule
thefe Dilcourfes, no worfc than moft
do maim'd Beggars, that is, though
they wane the Charity to relieve their
Wants, yet not fo to abound in ill
Nature, as to jeer at their Defeats:
This is all I expedl from them, and
this is all. Madam, I humbly beg of
you, That you will pleafe to pardon
this poor Book's Faults, and not jeer
at its Defedls, which fhall ever be an
Obligation placed on,
Madam^
Your tnoiT: Obedient,
and ever Faithful
Humble Servant,
SHANNON.
jj The C O N T E N T S of
«* Ulie <rft ^art-.
The Firft Difcourfc,
'I' fame of the common rcays many vertuous
[D>|j Women take to lofe their RepHtation , though
they keep their Chafiity^ being vertuous in their in-
-ward Intentions^ but indijcreet in their outward
ill Carriage^ and Men judg by what'they /ee, not by
what Women fay they mean. Page i.
The Second Difcoiirfe,
Of meir Beauty-Love., with fome of the vile Artsf
and wicked Deceits many Gallants ufe^ to ruin their
Mi^rejfes Reputation., under a falfe pretence of true
din Fricndjlypj And of the great folly of fuch
j jj; FTomen who delight in cenfuring others., but flight
all others cenfurwg them., becaufe they fancy they
[1,2 do not defervs it J with fome ujeful Advices there-
L. on. p. X>cxii.
The Third Difcourfe,
pjlli Of young Mens great folly in adoring and over-prai-
Iff It fing all young handfom Lzdksand their greater
' vanity., in receiving it, and bei.eving them. p, i
roti yhe Fourth Difcourfe,
Of the extraordinary governing power , mens
Beauty now exercifes over moflyoung Men. p. 21
The Fifth Difcourfe,
Of the Inconflancy moft Ladies , efpecially fuch as
are cry^d up Beauties, and the folly of any Alan,
. that believes, he^s fully acquainted with, and foky
' poffefs'd of, a vain Be.auties Heart j and can give
|flti good reafons, for the various Motions of her Love-
changes. p. 42
i .-1 r. •A"! A I t.W S. 1
The Sixth Difcourfe,
Of Marria^Cy and of Ff^ives who nfarp a Govern'
ing Power over thctr Husbands^ which is now fo com-
mon^ as ^tis almof become the general Grievance
of the hlation. P* 5 2
The Seventh Difcourle,
Of the inequality of many Marriages , awd of the
Inconfancy of mo ft VKives , that Men Marry
for meer Beauty^ or their Parents Match forbare
Mony^ with the fad end that ufually attends fach
Matches. p. 55
The Eighth Difcourfe,
jigainfl Maids Marrying for meer Love., Or only to
pleafe their Parents Inclinations, tho'' quite contra-
ry to their own. p. 88
The Ninth Difcourfe,
yfgainfi F VI D O FF.'i Marrying. p. py
The Tenth Difcourfe,
a^gainjl keeping of MIS S E S. p 113
The Eleventh Difcourfe,
Of the vain Folly of fuch VF'smen as think to fhew
their FFit, by Jeering at, and Cenfuring of their
Neighbours. p. lai
The Twelfth Difcourfe,
Of the French Fajfions and Dreffes, lately iis^d in
England, by the tnodijh Ladies and young
fparks. p- 139
The Thirteenth Difconrle,
Of FForldly Prafes, which all Ladies love to re'
ceive, but few firive to deferve, and the fad end
cf it, and them, when they come to Die. 15 4
The Fourteenth Difcourfe,
Vfeful advices in order to the vain modijh Ladies well
kegidating their Beauty and Lives. p. i
The
I
h T H E F I R S T
DISCOURSE.
tf:
Mt-
jsii
Of fame, of th^ common ways mmy 'vertuous
Wives take to loje their Reputation^ tho^
they keep their Chajlity, being vertuous in
their inward Intentions, but indifcreet in
their Talk and outward ASlioris \ and Men
judge by what they fe, not by what Women
/ y* 41 # tkt '%r\f^e> /t 77
fay they mean
init
p,f
iij It.
Shall not here. Reader, pretend to prefent
you with the SuniTdtal of rhe numerous and
various Ways, many handfom Women take
to be ill talk'd of, for that I am fure would
be a Task as much above my Power to write, as
1 fancy 'twould be above, your Patience to read ;
. and he that can perform that great work, rauft
^ need atleaft a Prophet's Knowiedge,_ and a Jo^'s
Patience; and truly I pretend to neither; Nor
1 ' have I fo much as a Thought of undertaking
fingly to tell you all the Faults, Arts, Deceits
^ and Indifcretions of all Wives, much lefs of all
Women, fince I fancy if all the Husbands in
the whole World were alTembled in one general
'... Council, they could no more fum up ail their
Wive's Faults, than ciire all their Vices ; for Mi-
racJes are ceas'd to the whole World, but the
,,i( Papift, of vvhofe Faith, I thank God I am net of;
' B But
Tie
C H A R A € T R s
[
But of this opinion I am, that 'tis fufficient for
every Married Man to carry his own Burden
and Proportion, in the Matrimonial Yoke, with
Difcretion and Patience j which latter is a Ver-
tue , their Wives will be fine to make them
praftife, if they be not more fortunate, than the
generality of Husbands are, and I think ever will
be, if one may judge of the future by the pre-
fe'nt.
1 lhall name but few, and write but little of
the many, and feveral ways, diverfe virtuous
( I do not fiy difcreet) Wives take to be ill talked
of, and lhall here skip troubling you with a Cha-
rafter of a vile fort of fcandalous Wives, that
are commonly known, and publickly branded
for fuch, who have, by their wicked Lives, ren-
der'd themfelves fo contemptible,as they are to be
us'd by all vertuous Women, as we do perfons
infefted wich the Plague : We are not bound to
go fee how they do, but we are oblig'd to avoid
coming where they arc, both for our own fake,
and the fake of others; and to remember to ob-
ferve Sc/o;«<j«'sgood Advice as to a vertuous Wo-
man's carriage towards an ill fcandalous Woman,
Remove thyvpay far from her, and come not near the
dior of her Houfe.
Thefe are a fort of beaflly Women, that take
itpon them the vile employment of common cen-
furing, and publick rayling at all ftrift Vertu-
ens Women, arming themfelves with downright
Impudence, having loll all their lhame with their
^Vertuc; for they that part with the one, foon
calls off the other : And becaufe they have rem
der'd themfdves contemptible by their ill Lives,
they ilrive to make good Women appear bad by
their
w D I rc o 'a fv s E s. /
their foul Tongues, fcanclalizing the Vcrtues
by,ail the ill Reports they can invent, being liks
thofe Solomon names. Who canmt Jleep withoat ha-
-vin^ done fame mifchief^ being fo abominably bad,
as their very Parents (for Friends they have none)
want Confidence to excufe them, and they Irapu-
' dence to juftify themfelves. Thefe Herd of
beaftly Women, the Vertuous are bound in
Charity to pity their bad Condition, but in Pru-
dence to fhun their ill Company ^ and fo I'll leave
® them with a red Crofs on their Door, and a Lord
Ifc have mercy on their bad lives.
The fir ft fort of Wives I fliall here name, and
K,"- but name, are a kind of Wives that have the
Happinefs to be thought vertuous by many, but
til' the llnhappinefs to be efteem'd r^ain and indifcreec
lit: by mofti they are careful to keep themfelves
jpo Chaft, but carelefs of what others fay againft
bt their being fo ; and becaufe they think they do no
to; ill, value not what ill others fay they do, which
mi is but a fad fort of Logick, and an ill way of
:rl! managing their Reputation ; fince tho' a Wive's
loti'-Innocency may fatisfy her own Confcience, yet it
cannot protect her Husband's Honour, nor fccure
■its her own, fince publickCenfure may biemiih both,
if an outward difcrect carriage doth not prevent:
tfeli Therefore, dcubtlefs, a Wife, who is truly ver-
®!::tuous, and truly defires to be eftccm''d fuch, is
Hi as much concern'd in Honour to keep a good
00 Name, as fbe is bound in Confcicnce to lead a
ijtiitgood Life ; and the Wife v/hich in point of Re-
ii]e,:'putaticn, values little what others fay, feldorri
JVC'care much what fhe her fclfdoth, for what bad
ilkCeiifures fhe cafts on others, or others caft oa
1)31 her ; and a Wife or Woman of that ill Temper
t B 2 ufually
-r
4 c H a" T R s
ufually loves more to commit a hundred faults,
than to repent of one, or be told of any j never
conlidering that a handibm Woman's leaving a
Vice, argues no defeft in her Body, but a ver-
tuous inclination in her Mind : For the very bell
Women in the World are fubjeft to Faults and
Errors, as well as the worft, tho' notfo much;
and with this great difference, That a pious Wo-
man Sins againft her Will, a wicked Woman
with it ; in the firfl 'tis but the effeds of the
Frailty of humane Nature, in the fecond'tis the
foul Ifliie of vicious Inclinations and habitual
Praftice. Therefore, "'tis worth fuch Womens
ftill carrying in their Mind, this ufeful Memoran-
dum, T hat'tis always a bad Aft, to commit an ill
Things but never an ill thing, to repent a bad
Aft j the firft being the Difeafe, the other the
Remedy.
'Tisa certain Truth, That all bad Women de-
fesve Cenfiu'e •, and, 'tis a^great a Truth, that
many good Women undergo bad Cenfures, tho'
they do not deferve them; many young Men
dealing with handfom Women's Reputation, as
FlLite did with our blefied Saviour, condema
him, tho' he ownd' he found no Fault in him.
Indeed the very Air of this Kingdom is fo infeft-
ed with the Naufeous Diftemper of Cenfuring, as
I fancy 'twill be as impoffible to flop all ill natur'd
Tongues from Cenfuring, as to flop all handfom
Women's Eyes from ftirring in their Head, or
their Blood from running in their Veins; for as
long as they move, bnfy Cenfurers Tongues will
Rir.
Therefore, the belt and mod likely way I
know to prevcn.t others fpeakiug ill of them, is,
for
and D r^iTTra uses. 5
iiit for them not to f;:eak ill of others ^ for if they do
ft what they ought, you arc unjufl: to Cenfure
it: them ^ and if tliey do what they ought nor, you
ar are unkind to do it •, fince none can do an ill Adf,
ni without being puniih'd by the very Ad: of doing
Bi it; and, therefore, by the Rule of God, Nature
c and true-Charity, pious, vcrtuous Women,
ffi'J ought rather to be troubled, than pleafed for
the Faults of others, fince Ihe that is not, doth
01: in fome degree, raake others Faults her own ; As
ft, on the other Hand, Hie that fiievvs Charity to
a Man, doth good to her felf, by doing good to
him ; for Charity to another is Charity to ones
1® felf. A vertuous Wife may certainly fay , Ihe
her felf is vertuous ^but flie cannot truly fay ftich
jt;; a Man''s Wife is unvertuous, except fhe certain-
ottit;: ly knows (lie is fo; and all know that moft Re-
ports are falfe : But I am fuie this is a greai"
Truth, That tho"" a Wife be never fo vertuous,
^ yet fhe ought to be moll ftridly careful, to pre-
'urg^; vent all others from thinking her the contrary,
jj,,; and to fiiun provoking ill Tongues, as well as
pommitting bad Deeds; fince many a good ver-
tiious Woman's Reputation has been by others
jjjji falfe Tongues fadly bhlled, and render d unfor'
jjjjj.;: tunate, tho'her Life and Carriage has been truly
iSirk
p far from being Scandalous or undeferving ; fo
; that no Woman ought to be fo over-pulPd up
j"ijjj;,with the inv/ard knowkdg of her Vertue, as to
flight the outward Care fhe ought to take, and
is;
, the prudent Means fhe is oblig'd to ufe to make
all think her vertuous ; for tho'fhe be never truly
° fuch, yet fhe ought to take the fame care, and
r
.ufe the fame means and method to plant a good
Reputation in the World , as good Gardners
" ^ - B-3 dq
z
^> CHARACf-ERS
<lo in fccting their Trees in Earth ; let the Ground
be never fo good and rich, which is, not to plant
them too deep, for then they''i rot ; nor yet
too lhallovv, for then they''l burn i fo that a
mean between both is to be usM in the very heft
Ground. So a Woman, tho' never fo vcrtuous,
ought not to place lb deep a value on her own
lleputation, as thereby to undervalue that of
oihers; nor fo debafe herfelf and lelTen her own
Character, as to plant too fliallov/ an Elleem on
Iier own Worth \ for then all others will be fure
to do the like by her own Example j very reafon-
ably concluding. That Cue ought belt to know
her felf. This is a way many a vertuous Woman
takes to injure her good Reputation ; for Ihe that
"will defpife and cenfure others, muft expeft, and
will find, that others will defpife and cenfure
her.
There are another fort of Wives, the' inward-
ly vcrtuous,yet outwardly fo overflow withPride,
Vanity and Ambition, as they are lb very mali-
cious as to defpife all below them, and hate all Per-
fens above them ^ which is a wicked Humour ss
£0 others, and an uneafy one as to themfelves.
Thefe Women, becaufe fome of their NeHhbours
Beauty is perhaps greater, or their Qivuity high-
er, or their Eftate larger, or their Equioasre
•richer, or their Wit quicker, or their Houfe-
keeping nobler, and the like ^ thefe, becaufe they
cannot reach to their high rate of Life, condemn
and cenfure their way of living as very bad vain
and extravagant ^ and becaufe they cannot live
j!S fplendidiy as they do, give our, they do not
live rs prudent as they ought to do : And becaufe
thefe egvious Women are themfelves too proud,
ram
and D l3T:''6TrR S E S. 7
052 give ouc, that their Neighbours are fo too j
pt and by their imjuftly and ehvioully ccnfuring
or: their Pride ( meerly upon the account of their
t own) it often inflames, and caufes, or rather
:q; forces, their great Neighbours to condemn their
itE Folly in fo doing, and perhaps their Chalticy to
iHj boot ^ and fo to occalion many others to fpeak
ill of them by their Example: For Pcrfons of
;t!; high Quality and great Reputation, their Cen-
fe- fures, like Bullets (hot out of great Guns, they
Jit; carry farther, and pierce deeper than out of a
jfiE lelTer lize, tho' of a much better Mettle *, the
toll lefler mull fubmit to the greater. Fertil Plains
i\P(j are not the worfc, tho' they are commonly over-
jtlj; topt by barren Hills.
^ This is a ufual way that many good Women
ijtjmake others cenfuretheir Vertue, meerly out of
Revenge, (a Fountain many ill and fcandalous
Streams flow out of) and thus by their indifcreet
Carriage and malicious Reports, and cenfuring
, others good Name, they lofe their own, by
caullng others to condemn and cenfurethem ; by
which vain pradice they are ilill like to come
i by the worll, which made Solomon rank among
AvOrldly Vanities, That a (Ijould not contend
] dwith one that is mightier than himftlf, Ecclef. 6. i o.
There are another kind of vertuous Wives that
. Ij-occalion their being ill talk'd of, and Sacrifice
"Their Reputation, becaufe they will not follow
®The Manners and Fafiaions of the Country they
^f^'live in, and thofe of Qiiality they are Neighbours
' 'to, bfing fo vain, proud, and foolilhly Self-
conceited, that becaufe they cannot be allovvM
Pattern to all, fcornto follow the Examples of
' any, tho* of higher Uegree, larger Fortunes,
B 4. and
OP
fit?
itC
ItEl
C H A R A C T
and much better Reputation and Efteem than
themfelves.
I Hull here name but one Exam pie of the ma-
ny I could give you, in order to convince you,
That all Perfbns are obligM by the Rules and Or-
der of civilSociety,Prudence,and well and eafy liv-
ing, to follow the Manners, Cuftoms and Dref
fes of the Country they live in, and of the belt
and moft efleem'd Families they accompany with,
and are Neighbours to ^ and this one Example
I fnall take out oiFrance, becaufe it fnall be ftarapt
with the heft, at Icaft raoft currant and modilh
Authority in the World. And, in that King-
dom , "Twas in my time, and I believe ftill is,
among Pcrfons of Qiaiity, near as great a fcan-
dal for a Lady to fulFer a Man to fit on her Bed,
as to admit him to lie in it. As for inflance : I
remember when King Charles II. liv'd with
Qjieen Mother in Paris, a French Gentleman, cf
^od Quality and great Eftate, fell defpcrately
in love with an EngliOi Lady, fb as to deiireto
Marry her (which I count Defperate Love) and
the Queen Mother had in a manner made up the
Match ; but, by an unfortunate accident ( I mean
only for the Lady) a near Kinfman and Friend
of hers and Counfellor in all her concerns (except-
ing thofe of her private Amours) came purpofely
out of Englandio aflift her in fetling her Join-
ture,' and other Marriage concerns; and this
Kinfman of hers, ignorant of the nice PundiUo's
of the French Ceremonies, did (that he might
the more eafily hear her, and fhe him, he not
knowing, nor ike not remembring, how fcanda-
lous 'twas for a Man to) fit on a Lady's Bed,
( which is no very flrangc thing in EngLv^d, where
^ ' it
and D 1 S. 9
it may be done without the kail harm, tho'
cannot in France^ without the greateft fcandal^
" but unfortunately this Lady's Lover came in to
■; vifit her, at the very nick of time that he was lit-
ting on her Bed, and the Monfiear feeing a Man
li: litting on her Bed, was fo furprisM at the Sight,
and fcandaliz'd at the Adion, that tho"' the
ii: Man's great Age had been of it felf a fufficient
ft Antidote againft his Jealoufy, efpecially know-
f ing how near of Kin he was to her, and how few
days he declar'd flaying with her, yet, the
K Monfieur, without ufing any Words, or taking
tt any Confideration, immediately left her and her
cl Chamber, and could never be perfuaded to re-
tii turn to her again. This is only to mind you,
iKi That the Cuftom of a Kingdom makes Rules and
fc gives Laws in it's own Dominions, which no
T Woman ought to break, if fire delires to keep her
s Reputation whole. And that Woman that knows
"v; fire ihall lofe her Reputation, if flie will admit
't a Man to lit on her Bed, in ray Opinion, de-
ferves to lofe her good name for doing it y let
t: the Aftion in it felf, and her intention as to her
(Ir felf, be never fo innocent.
df; But this fevere CuRom in France is nothing in
,({s; coinparifon to the Severities, or rather Cruelties
jj;:,; that are generally pradifed in Italy^ by Husbands
);{;!: towards their Wives ;for, there, all young Gen-
jjj'; tlewomen are kept and bred up in a ilrid Con-
fineracnt, Jn Nunneries, till married ; and,
,£12 when they are fo, are kept but a kind of Prifo-
ii. ners in their own Houfes; So that all the Writ
' [rr of Eafea Maid gets by marrying, is, but the ex-
changing one Prifonfor another, which renders
/ tiicm the more eager after liberty ; as pennM up.
' ' Rivers
Rivers fvvell for being connn'd, and run more
violent when they get their freedom, for having
been debarr'd of it, and hinder'd from their
natural Courfe ^ fo molt of thefe imprifon'd
Wives are kept chafl: by their Husbands ftridt con-
fine ment of them, and careful watchfulnefs
over them, rather than by the Motions of their
own natural Temper, or vertuous Inclinati-
ons.
But for my own part as I utterly detefl: the
Severities Husbands ufe to their Wives in/t;?/).',
fo I do not^akogether approve the great Freedoms
that many Husbands do allow their Wives in
England^ (or their Wives will allow themfelvesj
fome Husbands granting them fuch large Ranges
of Liberty, as they, by it, often drew more alonfi-
dence in their Wives, than Drfcretion in them-
felves: Since a large liberty, without a fuitable
proportion of prudence to well manage it, of-
ten caufes high Extravagancies, and foul Exccf-
fcs; and therefore, I believe, as many Husbands
have made their Wives difhoneft by too much
miftruftingthem (for Revenge is veiy fweet and
natural to Women j fo I alfo believe fome Wives
have been made dilhoneft by their Husbands too
much truking them : Opportunity often makes a
Thief, which had not perhaps been a Thief, but
for the opportunity. The Julians have a ccr-
tain way of reafoning, as to the fecming their
Wives, by faying. That no Wife can be dilho-
nek without an Opportunity to be fo, fTime
and Action being infeparable) therefore, fay
they, ever keep your Wife from an Opportuni-
ty, and you will ever keep her honek. But God
forbid that all Men that have opportnnity Oiould
bs
be Thieves; or ibat all Women thac allow Men
Opportunity, fhould allow them Enjoyment,
j- For tho'' the Italians fay as true, That there can
- be no Enjoyment without Opportunity, fo the
Englijh fay as true, That there may be OpportU-
- nity, without Enjoyment. I Remember in
upon a difcourfe with an Italian^ of the great
® freedoms Wives were allow'd in England-^ I heard
him fwear a great Oath, That he would not
- truft the great God with his Wife, when Ihe
j'' was alone in Bed ; And asked me, not only with a
K' ferious, but furious Countenance, if it were pof-
fible thac ftrange Report could be true. That the
Married Women in England had liberty to go
fei abroad with Men, and to receive Vifits from
:il3 them in their Chambers; nay, foraecimes when
ik they were in Bed? laflur'dhim, 'twas very cer-
fe tain, Thac the Women of the highell Quality,
511, greateft Eihecm and belt Reputation, do both
it go abroad with Men in their Company, and re-
fe ceive Men's Vifits in their Cambers, and fome-
)0t times 5 by Men,(at the ufual vificing hours,) when
le;: they were in Bed, and by near Kindred at all
:lf- times, and that this Freedom was allow'd by
vertuous and great Women, to Men, without
p the leaft fcandal i for neernefs of Kin, tbo' it
cannot greatly foul Adions, yet it can proted
;,j Freedoms. But for a Married Woman to admit
the liberty to a Man that's no way related to her
felf. Husband or Family (except upon fom.e good
Cfj ground or extraordinary occafion) argues, in my
; Opinion, great Weaknefs, and high Indifcretion,
jr:;: being a thing, I cannot with prudence approve,
,jG:nora Wife, I think, withdifcretion admit; for
jijj tho'fome may favour fucli a Freedonj with an In-
noccnt conftrudion, yet others may brand it
with a fcandalous Interpretation; and ufnally
indifcreet Freedoms produce difhonourabie Cen-
fares ; And that married Man that allows young
Gallants to vifit his Wife more than ordinary,
mufc allow Men to fpeak more than ordinary of
her for it, or they will be fare to allow it them-
lelves.
Therefore, a Prriti:, vertuous Wife, ought fe-
rioufly to rcfled on the Hazard fne runs, the
Folly Hie commits, and the Difiionour fne may
iiiffer in her Reputation, by allowing a Man that's
unfitly qualified, fo great a freedom. Now as
an Antidoteto prevent reading the like Indifcre-
tion, I fhall advife that Wife that admits fuch
Freedom to a Man at unvifiting hours, ferioufly
to conlider, and foberly to reafon and argue
with her felf, by fuppofing that this her now
dear Friend, file's fo fond of, andfo much relies
in, fliould chance to become her Enemy, and brag
he has enjoy'd her ; (for fuch things have been
certainly done formerly , and may pofiibly be
done again) whether fiiecan, after ferious confi-
deration and firrid examination, fatisfy her felf,
that file's able in this cafe, to alledg more Ilea-
j(bn, and produce better Arguments to juflify her
Chafliity, than her Enemy can taring to accnfe
her Vertue , before imconccrp'd and unbyafs'd
'judges.
Let her, therefore, fuppofe the v/orfi: of her
late dear Friend, but now great Enemy, that he
fiiould fwear. That he came often into her Cham-
bcr when (he was alone infit in Bed, and that (he
order'd and afiign'd him that opportunity and
convenkncy, that they might enjoy one another^
as
1 as they then did ^ and, to ecu firm the Truth of
■■ this Accnfation, he fays, Ihe that was certainly
(i fo indifcreet as to allow the one, might pofiibly
be fo unvertuous as to admit the other , and al-
» ledges his being alone with her , to back the
" Truth of what he now Swears, and to piiblilh
it the Folly of that Ihe then did 5 and farther adds.
That he can prove this her Indifcretion, by her
own aft. But Ihe can never prove her Inno-
iii cency, when they were fo alone by her own
it; Words.
12 Therefore, let her ferioufly refleft and ccnfi-
> der, how weak and flight her Defence muft be
& againfl her Enemies fworn Accufation, let her
3i Wit be never fo great, and her Innocency never
Efo clear, finee fiie cannot produce fo much as one
Jt fingle Witnefs, to confirm the Truth of what lite
T. fays, or to contradift the Truth of what he
it Swears, having only her own bare Word, and
f: that in her own Canfe, and to defend her own
til Honour, and Reputation, which flic has exposM
3;| to Ccnfurc, by the imprudent liberty Ihe allow'd
ISC her then Friend , either on the account of her
Ik! too little Wit, or too much Love, or at leaft too
)(;■ great want of Difcretion and Confidcration,
liii; 1 fuppofe flie may make to his Accufation, fome
jtkind of Defence of th|s nature, That inthefirft
place, for his acculing her of fuffering him to
vifit her at unufuaivifiting hours, when fhe was
alone in her Chamber in Bed, that part fhe does
^ not deny, becaufe fhe cannot well do it; fiys,
■Qj'twas never but once, and that once was meer ac-
[jjiicidental. Secondly, At the time he fo vifired
jpher, he fwore he was, and fhe verily believed
./diim to be an honefl: Man and her real Friend, as
well
well as her long and intimate Acquaintance.
Thirdly, She takes God, The Searcher of all Hearts^
to be her Witnefs, that Ihe did not then, or ever
before or after,aft any thing with him in Thought,
Word or Deed, that was not truly vertuous
and purely innocent, which his Heart knows to
be a real Truth, as well as he knows, what he
fwears to the contrary, to be an errant malicious
Lie. And, Laltly, Ihe fays. That fcandalous
Reports againft Women of (^ality and Repu-
tation, ought only to be credited by fober and
prudent Perfons, but according to what they fee
themfelves, and not according to what they
hear from others ; becaufe 'tis in the power of
any wicked Man, to raife and call fcandalous
Reports on the moll vertuous Woman in the
World, All this I grant a Vv^oman may ailedge
in her own Defence and Juftification, which 1
cannot ellecm much, becaufc Ihe could not well
fay Icfs.
Firft, as to his Accufation of her fuffering
him to vilit her when fiic was alone in Bed at
imufual viliting hours as to her Anfwer, that
'twas altogether undefigncdly, and accidenrally,
and that 'twas never but once, and that Ihe was
fully refolv'd it Ihould never be fo a fecond
time.
To this part of her Juftification it may bean-
fwered. That granting the Judges fhould take
her own bare Word, (For flaecan give no more,
that what fliefaysisa real Truth; yet it maybe
objcfted. That a Woman that will allow her felf
to do one aft of Indifcretion, in her carriage
towards a Man, it may be indeed a reafonable
inducement to believe llie may be perfvvaded to
coram ic
E S 15
' commit another. But to draw an Argument,
' that tho' fhe committed one adl of Indifcretion,
yet wc are to credit her bare word, that flie will
^ never be brought to commit a fecond, is but a
weak and an irrational Conclufion j for if a pure
fenfe of Honour and true Love of Reputation, 1
regulates all a Woman's Aftions, and Carriage
towards all Men, (as certainly it ought) that Wo- '■
" man would never be fo imprudent, as to allow
■- one freedom to her favorite Friend, at any time, [
- which (he could not honourably own, and pub- !
® lickly juftify at all times, and in all Places and ;
'I Companies, in cafe her Friend Ihould become
'• her Enemy ^ but indeed moft Women are too |
^ apt to miftake the difference between the word [
^ Lover, and the thing Friend ; for they will have |
- them to be both one and the fame thing, when in i
"■ deed they are very oft'n far from being fo ; for
-tho' every true Friend muft be a true Lover, '
_ yet every pretending Lover is not a true Friend,
fc as many Ladies can Witnefs by wofuIExperience:
JiS But if rerjHs Love had then the predominant Power
isii over her Inclinations, as it certainly has over
fc many Women, towards the favourite Man of her
ti'preferit fancy, it may be better, and much more s
irrationally argued, That the fame amorous Incli- I
nation which at that time over-ruled her Difcreti-
■?:on, by admitting him one freedom more than j
siii/lie fliould, might as well at another time over- |
aoipower her Difcretion by admitting him a fecond
taliberty more -than flie ought; for (he that com-
jlrmits one aft of irrdifcrction, fcews, by it, a |
fitprobability thatlhe maybe prevail'd with to aft j
lica fecond ; but no impoffibility againfl her being |
i^'.perfwadcd to commit a third,
[o; N^xt,
i6
Next, as to that part of her juflification. That
the Man that did vllic her when fhe was alone in
her Chamber in Bed, at an unufual vifiting hour,
"'twas never but once, and that once was by one
Ihe verily believed to be her true, faithful Friend,
as well as her long and old Acquaintance : But
to this it may well be anfwered. That 'tis very
common for great Friends, to prove great Ene-
tnics, and often the greater Enemies, for having
been great Friends^ as the Weight ofaPendulum
Clock, fails the more backward, for being Ihoved
the more forward ; And this I am fure, that
there can be no Friendthip in the whole World,
that is fo loofely Tack'd on, as that betweena
Man and a Woman, on a raeer Beauty Account,
which mult ofcourfebe deftroy'dby Death, ira-
pait'd by Sicknefs, and may be broken in pieces
by a Thoufand Accidents ; Witnefs that com-
mon one, of a Man growing to like another
Woman better than his Miilrefs, or fhs to fancy
another Man better than him, ( a common Fate
that attends moil; Beauty-Loversj, and Fo they
grow to diflike one another ; tbr great Beau|y,
tho' it often creates great Fondnefs, yet it feldora
contains a long conllant Love : For as Beauty
is plealing, fo'tis Clogging ^ and vve know that
the finell Sweet Meats, make the foukft Sur-
fcits.
For there we find it very ufual among our
young Gallants, that tho' one of them has in a
manner forfaken his Miftrefs, yet that Man can-
notindureto fee her Love another Man ^ and 'tis
ten to one (he cannot indure to be without another
Man to Love % and this creates Anger and Re-
vcnge iii her firfl Lover, and perhaps provokes
him
mt
fet
iter
vo:s
her
W D 1 S C O U R S E S. 17
; him to caft out Words that may highly refiedt on
her Honour ; ( fo vile and ill-natur'd is our pre-
ftnt Age, as moft Men are much readier to re-
; vcnge a ineer fancied Injury, than to requite a
real recei^-^ed Obligation. ) And if a Wife that
allows a Man the freedom of vifiting her, wheii
; ftie is alone in Bed (at unufual vifiting Hours)
will but truly own the fecret Thoughts of her
• Heart, lam confident Ihe cannot deny, but that
one of the principal Motives that induced her
• to grant her Lover that imprudent Freedom,
^.was much occafion'd on this vain and foolilh ac-
J,count. That fhe hoped, by her allowing extraor-
j'.dinary Liberty to him, it would produce extra-
'"ordinary Returns of Kindnefs to her : Which iS
■'but a fimple Fancy, fince that Woman that eh-
"larges her Favours and Freedoms to a Man, be-
,'yond the juft Bounds and Limits of a prudent,
j^modelh, and a decent Carriage, tho'' that Man
Jmay in Heat of Blood, feemingly embrace them
■with an eager Fondnefs, and a paflionate Delight 5
jj/et if he be either a Lover of Vertue, or a Ma-
,,ler of Reafon, he cannot, but in his own Judg-
."'nent, defpife her for it, and conclude, by her
;'^;ranting fuch over-large Liberties to him, it fa-
J?';ors more of hot Love, than true Friendfhip;
nd he cannot but in reafon judge, That as her
...nefent fond Love makes her now grant to him
'■.lore Freedom than is decent, fo Ihc may in a
f.'jctletime as'well flrew moi'e Kindnefs to ano-
•'.her than is difcreet : For Beauty-love cannot be
' uilt upon any fettl'd firm Foundation, but on
Hill of Sand, which looks high, but ftands
''.;eak; nor is it rais'd and maintain'd by true
•'.eafon or pare Friendniip, but rather hangs by
G Geometry y
-•
Geometry ; that is, depends on a mccr flafliy,aii y,
araorous Fancy, as little durable as Summers Rain,
or Winters Sun^ and therefore that Perfon ihCjjj
fancies moft, (he will be fure to love bcft, and be
fondeft of,and kindeft to, during the prefent amo-
rous Fit. And for that Wife,taking God, thefeanh-
er of all Hearts, to be her Witnefs, That fhe never
afted with that Man that accufesher, anything
but what was truly Vcrtuous. Indeed fhe does
well to take the God of Heaven to be her Wit-
nefs, for (he can have none on Earth, except
the Man, that WitnelTeth againft her : And,
therefore, 1 lhall defire her ferionfy to confider,
how is it poftible to judge of a Woman''s inward
Intentions, but by her outward Actions ^ and
if they be indifcreet, how can any juftly fay, her
inward intentions are not fo, fince none can
judge of the one, but by the other ? For we are
to believe according to what we fte, and not
according to what we hear, or the Woman
vows fhe means, which (unlefsto God,the Search-
cr of all Hearts) can be only known to her felf,
and confequently fire can only be a credible Wit-
nefs to her felf, and not others, as to her own
inwardinrcntiorrs.
Laftly, for the excnfe fhe alledges. That it
lies in the Power of any wicked Man to raife
and caft fcandalson the Reputation of the mofi
Vcrtuous Woman on Earth, as that flie admit
ted fuch a Man to vifit her, when fhe was alone
in her Chamber a . Bed, when perhaps flie never
law him out of it, much lefs heher in it, having
never jrofTibly heard his Name, much lefs knew
I ^s Perfon ; Thefe kinds of Reports, I grant
lis in the power cf every wicked Man, toi aifc
on
ait
pii)l
F;
iiif
tltei
rsmm
1
and DISCOURSE S. 19
n on
llf ^
■ on any Vertuous Woman: But I deny 'tis in the
: Power of every wicked Man, to make a Ver-
tuous Woman fay, fhe admitted him to vilit her
'' alone in Bed, when Ihe never did ^ and to own
'"an indifcreet Adf, which fhe never committed.
Indeed I have known many wicked Men difown
■; ill things that they have done ; but I never heard
'■;of a difcreet Woman own an ill thing Ihe never
''.^^didi fo that I think it needlefs to write any
^'more than. That I look upon inch groundleft
"Tcandals, fo falfly rais'd, and fliot at Pvandom
:at a good Woman''s Reputation, to be only
'■-able to Hiew a malicious Man's ill Nature, not
|"'juftly to brand a Vertuous Woman-s good Name.
"1 But I fear I have already not only writ too
''Imuch, but too fliarp on this Nice Subjeft •, there-
i'Tore, I fliall only give this good, tho old Ad-
' 'vice, to all vertuous Wives, which is, ftill to
'mfe an Enemy, as if he may become a Friend j
\*hnd a Friend (efpecially in love matters) as if he
"■■'may become an Enemy ^ that is, a prudent Wo-
'f'^raan ought not to Ihew too much Kindnefs to
Je the one, nor declare too fierce a Hatred againll
liE'the other •, but to manage with Difcretion and
Moderation, her carriage to both, and to ad-
Tfflit Piety, Vertue and due Confideration, to re-
Ululate all. her Adions •, and (lie that obferves
Itehefe good Meafures, will be fure never to ad-
«• Tiit ■ any Perfon (efpecially a Lover) any pr'.vate
?!is"reedom which flie cannot honourably own, and
(bJpublickly juftify.
, i- Farther, a Vertuous Woman ought ftill to
tfsharry in her Mind, That Ihe is bound to fatisfy
Ijall Perfons as to her Vertue, as well as her felf?
locthers Tongues, as well as her own Heart. Nor
20 C H A R A C'f E 11 S
ought a vertuous Maid, or Wife, to depend much
upon her Lover's Vows or Oaths of a true and
conftant Love, and a perfcdt unalterable Friend-
(hip ; fince moft of their Vows and Love Oaths,
being built upon fading Beauty, which is but a
Sandy Foundation, their Friendlhip commonly
moulders away, with the Beauty that created it.
I fhall, therefore, advife all handfom vertuous
Women not to depend much on their Lovers fair
Words, but on their own good Aftions, ftridt pru-
dentCarriage,and pureVcrtuous Life; and (he that
obferves thefe good Meafures, will be fure not
to (hew too much Love or Hatred to any Man,
nor ever expofe her Reputation to her Lover's-
Humor ^ fince by fo doing, fhe's no longer his
Queen and Mifcrefs, but his Subjedt and Servant, j
by trnfting her Humour into his Power, and i
what is worfe, to his Mercy: And Sc/oraow, the
wifeit of Men, gives Men this good advife,
.Advoid Suretypip^ and you Jhall he fure ; And the
like rantionanci Prudence alio leads Women,
not to be bound for, nor to trull in any Beau-
ty-Lover's Oaths^ for this good rcafon. That
if you never trnfc him, he can never deceive you;
but if you do, he may : And as 'tis natural for
all Women to hope the bell, fo "'tis difcreet ia
all Women to fear the woril, and to arm them-
felves againft others bad Tongues as well as
againft their own ill Adls. And as Difcretion
muft ever be a great Vertue among Women t
fo Indifcretion mnfi; ever be a great Vice; j
for all it*'s being a' great Mode, I efleem In- r
difcretion to be mucti alike to Wickednefs, j
as Covetoufnefs is to Evil , which is not
only s but the Root of all Evil, j
So
and D 'l S C O U R S H S. 21
So Indifcretion is not that fole liPae of one Vice,
"•i bnt the fruitful Parent of many, if not mofi:. Now
'® remember this, That tho"' 'tis poffible that a Wo-
man may be vertuous, and notdifcrcet in forae
^ Cafes^ yet 'tis impolTible in any Cafe, that a
® Woman can be indifcreet by being Vertuous,
lince Difcretion is a partof Vertue.
1 fhall not here give it as a general Rule, with-
out any Exception, That a Vertuous Woman
mull ftill make a fond Wife ^ for Vertue is ftill
the Gift of God, but a Husband is pften the
gift of a Father, and fometiracs forced by
him, and not chofen by her: And I will appeal
k!' to all Men and Women-kind , if this be not a
great and real Truth, That a Wife's liking and
to loving a Husband, mull: depend folely upon her
own free Choice, and not upon her Father's Will:
She may, indeed, obey what pleafes him, but
- fhe cannot love but what pleafeth her felf: Love
AcJ is to be led, not drawn: Vertue may make her
\Vc'. a good Wife, but Love can only make her a fond
)j k one, and Content a happy one.
)3,1 Now tho''tis certain. That natirral Heat flill
works ftrong in all young Women's Tem-
m per i yet 'tis far from being certain. That Wo-
ifats men's Love to their Husbands, does ftill work
ftrong in all young 'Wives Minds j for tho' a
itil brisk Heat ftill waits on a Woman's Conftitution,
)ifct3 whilft fhe is a young Woman, yet a brisk Love
WKto a Husband does not ftill attend a Woman's
jt U Inclinations, whilft fhe's a young Wife: And the
feefl^reafon of this is plain, becaufe often a Wo-
rjjeii^man's Love and liking in the choice of a Hus-
is iband, only fprings from, and is but the bare
silliLTue of her then firftFancy; which, perhaps,
C 3 had
C H A R A C 1 V'. R S
had not the leafl mixture of good Reafon, or
true Conflderation in its compofure, but was
meerly to. gratify her paffionate, amorous IncU-
nations ; and fuch a kind of Love, or rather
Frenzy, is ufually but like a Fire of Straw, which
tho' it lights quick, and burns fierce, yet it con-
fumes foon ^ and this caufes her Love-flame,
to lafl: no longer than her Love-fancy, which is
ufually but of a fliort duration , as well of a
fickle compolition : But the natural Temper of
a young healthful Womans Conftitution, its
Operation may be of long Continuance, and
mufl: lafl: as long as her youthful Health docs
Whereas the fickle Love to the Husband of her
raeer Fancy, may polTibly not laft fo long as her
Youth, or Health cither.
This is the Caufe that many of the hot, fiery
Brood of young Wives, love their Huf
bands more for the Mans fake, than the Man for
the Husbands fake ^ for the Man's part cft'ncre-
atcs Pleafure, but the Husbands part ofc'n oc-
caficns Trouble, which makes many of the young
Mettle fort of Wives, to like well enough cou-
pHng vyith their Husbands by Night, who can-r
not, with Ghfio^ relirh their iingle Company by.
day ^ for they can then entertain themfelves with
fwcit Variety •, w'hich plainly demonftrates what
kind of Divertifement fuch fort of Wives Love
to their Husbands aims at, and is delighted in.
I, fhall not here venture to lanch my Difcourfe
into the vaft Ocean, of Reafons and Pretences that
there happens in Husbands loving or hating
their Wives; nor fhall 1 here pretend in the leafr
T) mark out the jufi: bounds and true Mcafurcs
t hat Husbands ought to ufs in the Trufiin^ or
2?
Miftrufting tbcir Wives Carriage in the Manage-
ment of their Chafticy ^ only thus ranch 1 may
fafely write. That there inuft be great Care ta^
A ken in railing or falling this Spring, that ranft
"Jict turn this Engine ; for ovcr-Liherty, or over-
icoa Watchfulnefs and R.efl:raint of Husbands to
feiK, Wives, are of fuch dangerous Confequences, that
a Failure of the exaft Proportions, and juft Mea-
1 "h fures of either fide, may prove of fatal Confe-
quence. Therefore I fhall only fay, That a
' wife Husband ought to obferve a moderate Care ^
M t between both thefe Extremities, which is the moft
1difcrect and fccure way ^ and doubtlefs a politick
of': Husband ought fo warily and prudently to fteer
ijisk his Courfe, and foberly and carefully to manage
his Carriage towards his Wife, as to avoid Ihew-
nt,ir ing too great a Jealoufie of her, or granting too
iti: great a Liberty to her, left the firft may make
dlii! her what (he Ihould not be; and the fccond
cft'iic caufe her to make him what he would not be.
ofm But 'tis more than time to beg your Pardon for
kjs having led your Thoughts as far asthe Gar-
jo'lix den of the World, only to fliew and entertain
ffkiE. you with the worft Weed in it, which is the
njur Husbands of that Countrey's jealous and barba-
l\'£i» rous Ufa ge of their Wives, Ifhall now conclude
ai£S»' this Branch of my Difcourfe by only adding,
vesu That many Vertuous Wives caufe many ill Di-
ifdb fcourfes, and fiiarp reflefling Cenfures on their
Reputation and good Name, by their being fo
;nceit vain, proud and fooliibly indifcreet, as not to
• W follow the Falhions of their Betters; for doubt-
■0 Icfs there are Rules and Meafures in the Man-
ners of DreTcs, as well as other Things, which
([ifl?' Women, by the Rules of Difcretion and Decen-
' I C 4^ cy.
24 CHARACTERS
cy, and the Orders of Civil Society, ought to
obferve and follow, according to the general
Pradice, that fuch of their own Quality wear,
and the Country they live in, ufe ; and the bell
and moil vertuous Perfons they are Neighbours
to, thole to be Followers of, and to make a ftrift
Friendfliip with; for men commonly judge of
Woraens Inclinations, by the Company they make
choice of, and are delighted in.
There are another fort of Vertuous Wives,
which is the lall Sort 1 lhail fpcak of, who, for
all their great Vertue, will yet make a hard Ihifc
but they will be ill talk'd of: Thefe are a nice,
delicate, fqueamifii fort of Virtuous Wives, who
arc, ( or at lealf would have ail think they be )
great Criticks, and ftrifl Followers of all the
Pundilio'^s that belong to, and are ufeful for the
maintaining a pure and clear Reputation in this
World, fo as to deferve and prefervc a high and
vertuous Elleem of all Perfons, fancying they
jufiily merit all Mens Praifes, and no ones Cen-
fures j having fuch nice and curious Palates, in
point of good Reputation, as they cannot in-
dure the Scandal of allowing a Gallant i but yet
can, at the fame time, fuffer the publick Cen-
fure of Entertaining a He-Friend, as a dear, in-
timate and conftant Companion ^ and hope the
good Name of Friend, will fmother the bad one
pf. Gallant. Indeed the Name of Friend, may
ferve as a Blindagainft a Wives own Fears, but
itj cannot ftill prove a Defence againfi;. others
'Eongues. So yileandcenforious is our prefent
J^ge, as mofl; of our young Mens Difcourfes of
hanfcm Women, are fo very Satyrical, as they
generaUy interpret young. Men and Women sen-
enter-
and D I S C O a K S E S. 2$
! entertaining one another, to be but Courtfliip,
' that favors more of pure rewj-Love, than true
|j Platonick Friendfhip *, and I can too truly fay,
'* before hanfocn Women can make all young Mens
Courtfliip to pafs for true Friendlhip, they mull
® weed out of this Country all the bufie, fliarp,
® ill-natur'd Cenfures ink, whofnatchtip-any Pre-
^ tenfions to worry and devour a Womans Re-
putation •, for they will tell you. That the pure
ftate of Innocency was never but in one Woman,
which was the firfl: of her Sex, and will be the
" lafl: of that Kind: And as it begun foon, fo it
laftcd not long for it left her, before Ihe left
" the World. Now it may be argued. That if
the Nature of the Mother of all Women-kind,
when fhe was in perfect Soundnefs and Strength,
would then yield to an Enemy in Paradife, what
I" may be now expeded from her Daughters in this
wicked World, and vicious Age ? If a Woman
4 could Humble then in a pure Light, why fliould
any wonder that many Women fliould fall now;
> in this our Age of Sin and Darknefs? And if a
! Woman could not defend her felf againfl: one
i'- Tempter then, why may not many Women yield
Ci to divers Tempters now, that there are near as
i)i many young Men that are Seducers, as there are
young Women that are hanfom.? Efpecially con-
is lidering in what a fuperlative Degree, Vice, Va-
nity and Idlenefs poflelTes molt of i^em j and
that our vain Ladies Love to their Gallants, is
now as very much in life, as great Beauty is in
Efleera, and Arid Piety out of pradice.
fc: And if when there was but one Man, and one
tii Woman in all the World, fo that fweet Variety
15- cou'd not be then in falhion yet all know. That
C H A R A C T E R s
one Woman could^ not then be true to that one
Man, but did deceive him, meerly for deceiving-
fake •, for (he could not then leave one Man for
another, which is now grown a common Wo-
manifh Praftice. Therefore it may be argued,
That by the fime Rule and Parity of Reafon,
That as the Woman did deceive the one Man,
when /he was in Paradife, fo may many Wives
now deceive many Husbands, whilll they are
hereout of it; for as there are plenty Eve'%
Daughters that ftill retain the Siibtilty of their
Motiicr, fo there will be ever plenty of Adam\
Sons that will ftill retain the Folly of their Fa-
thcr, and be beguiled by their Wives *, which is
aWeaknefs and Diftemper that's now grown fo
common and infectious, as 'tis like the Plague
that roigfi'd founiverfally in Egyft^ as it over-
Jpread the whole Land, And all our moft Learn-
td Dodors aie fo very weak and ignorant in the
means of prefcribing a Remedy for this Diftem-
per to others, as they cannot fo much as com-
pofean Antidote again ft it for themfelves, tho*
they ftiou'd all joyn in a Confultation.
And as the World is now more incrcafed in
Men and Women, fo 'tis alfo in Sins and Vices,
Women having athoufand Arts, Cheats and Al-
Inrements to decoy Men with, which were not
known then, tho' commonly pradifed now.
Therefore all Women, not only of the vain mo-
difh Brood, but of the moft yertuous and pious
Kind, are in Duty obligM to make it their con-
ftant Endeavours, and hearty Prayers to the Al-
mighty, 1 hat he will plcafe to repair the DcfcCls
of their'Earthly Nature, by the Supplies of his
Heavenly Grace, that the Strength of this latter
D r s c 6 a R s E s 27
may conquer the Weaknefs of the former; and
that as they are by Nature frail, and inclin'd to
[► do what's ill, fo they may, through Gods Mercy,
love to pradtifc what's Good, and to lhake off
the wanton and vicious Inclinations of the Flelh,
to put on the heavenly Motions of the Holy
^ Spirit, which will certainly make a Woman love
■ God, and keep his Commandments; which will
p. give her a happy Content of Mind whilft Ihe lives,
■j,, and ableffcd Peace of Confcience when Ihe comes
to die And I am fure neither a vain Life, nor
jjj, a Fop of a Gallant, can ever bring either.
It may be farther ask'd, Where is the great
Difference between a raeer Beauty-Lever and a
meer Gallant's Friendfliip, when 'tis only the
Womans Beauty that creates and maintains the
J J- Gallant's Love, and his falL fubtil Craft that
nick-namcs his meer nrw/w-Love, by mifcalling
it real Friendfliip ? And as many vertuous Wives
deceive and flatter themfelves in the Title of
^ their Lovers, by calling their Gallants their
' „ Friends; fo many Women arecozen'd in the Na-
ture and Meafures of their Love: They'll tell 51 ou,
and with reafon too, (a thing not very common
among Women ) That 'tis immodefl: and fcan-
" j' dalous for a Wife to admit a Man to make Love
and publick Courtlhip to her: But they'll tell
you at the fame time. That a Wife is not bound
to take notice a Man makes Love to her, till he
'""Tells her fo; which, in my Opinion, is a very
fenfelefs fancy, fince that makes the fault of a mar-
f'"'' riedWomans admitting aMans making loveto her,
not to confift in her receiving it from him, but in
i'''' his telling it to her ; not in her fuffering him to do
it, but in his acquainting her, that he do's it.
■s Sure
&
28
c H A K :4 C r E R S
Sutc. that WomsB's . Judgment muft be very
dull, and her Eye-fight very dim, that can be fo
grofly miftaken, as to fancy a Man's making love
to her, is not to be taken notice of, by feeing it
herfelf, but by her hearing it from him j when
'tis moll; certain, that the Eye is a much quicker
and furer Witnefs than the Ear jas may be cbferv'd
in firing a Cannon, the Flame of the Powder
comes to the Eye before the Noife of the Gun
do's to the Ear 5 and that Woman mufi: be ftrange-
ly dull, that cannot difcern a man's anaorous
Looks, and palfionate Actions, and Carriage to-
wards her, that he is in love (or at leafl: pretends
it by adting as if he were J without his down-
right telling her he is.
A Woman may poffibly hear, and yet not be-
lievc what flie hears; but 'tis irapoffible Ihe can
plainly fee, and not believe what Ihe plainly fees;
for feeing is believing ; and if we fhould deny
Sight to be a fiifficient credible Witnefs, we mult
by it deny the Foundation of all Chriftian Reli-
gion; for the Apoftles feeing our Blefled Savi-
cur's Miracles that be did in his Life-time, and
both feeing of him, and ccnverfing with him, af-
ter he was rifen from the dead, is the great Secu-
rity we have that he is fo.
I grant 'tis not in a Wive's Power to hi. der
a Man from liking, loving, and efteeming her;
but fure 'tis in any Wive's Power to avoid re-
ceiving, or at leaft countenancing a Man's pri-
vate Vifits, and entertaining his publick Court-
fliip. And really it cannot polfibly enter into
my Belief, how a Woman that's certainly af-
for'd that fuch a Man loves her paffionately well
on the account of her Beauty, and who confirms
it in all bis Words and Aftions, and by his high
Concerns for her, and abundant Court/hip to her,
which fne receives with great Kindnefs, Freedom,
and Satisfadion, feeming to be abundanly con-
firm'd of his great and pallionate Love, and that
ihe cannot but be afl'nr'd that he knows flie knows
fo much i and yet that I rauft believe at the very
fame time, that ihe can be fo very fierce, and
barbaroufly ill-natui'd, as if that Man fhe knows
fb highly loves her, fhould yet dare to tell her, he
do's fo, fhe fhould from that moment fliun him,
and forfake him : This, I confefs, feem? to me
fuch a Paradox in Love, and is fo extravagant,
fo extraordinary, and fo highly impradicable, as
'tis much fitter for all Mens Wonder, than any
fbber Man's Belief. ^
Therefore let fuch wild Roraantick humpur'd
Ladies fay what they will, I ani fure all Ver-
tuous Women are to confider, as" they ought,
which is, That few young Men make Love to a
Woman ( i mean upon meer Beauty-account )
but on this fcore, that either he fancies fhe likes
him, and fo is inclin'd to be civil, if not kind to
him, or he has forae hope, that in time fhe will
be both; or eiie he muH be a great Fool, eagerly
to ftrive for that he never expects to obtain, and
fiercely to befiege that Place he never hopes to
take; and fo might as wifely build in the Regi-
ons of the Air, or employ bis time in weighing
of Flames, or making his ftudy to anfwer Sdo-
man\ Q_aeftion, Profit hath he that Uhoiireth
for the Wind? I amfute, if bethinks there may
be fome, Solomon thought there was none.
Really, I have often entertain'd my felf with
the Thoughts of what a ftrangc Brood of Lovers
onr
"go C H A R A C T E R S I
our next Age will produce, confideringtheTem-
per of our prefent one^ in which many (1 think
I might have faid^moft; handfom Womens Pride,
Vanity, Idlenefs and Inconftancy reign in them
fb powerfully, and is praftifed by them fo com-
monly, as nothing is more common, except the
D^;bauchery of their Gallants; and how Excel-
lent and Religious a Brood, Vicoj Idlenefs and"
Vanity will produce, the next Age will beableto
tell you more, if poffible, than this : I'm fure
in this'tis become common ( I had almoll faid
natural) for moft of onr handfom Women to be
more iti-clinM to Vice than Vertue *, and for onr
young Men to be readier to fpeak ill than well
of them, and to be more apt to credit all raalici-
ous PvCports, than to fearchinto any real Truths;
to believe what Men fay, than to examine what
Women do, and what Charafter they juflly de-
Icrve. And if in their Love-Rambles, and Beauty-
Ghace they meet with a handfom Woman that's
truly vcrtuous ( which is a kind of Rarity J
they ufuslly avoid her, becaufe (he isfo; and if
they light on a handfom Woman that is unvirtuous
( which is far from being a Rarity ) they defpife
her for being fach ; many of our young Gallants
being grown fuch fubtile Logicians in thePoli-
ticks of making love, as to form to themfelves
■' this manner of arguing, That a handfom Wo-
man thf t can be perfwaded to become too kind to
one Mm, may by the fame Rule of Folly and
Wickednefs, be perfwaded to grow too common
to many. And as a virtuous Woman ftill carries
in her mind the agreeable Satisfaction of doing
what HfS ought ro.do; fo an unvirtuous Woman
often carries in her Body the fad EfFeds for doing
what
arid
^ what fhe ought not to have done-,which great ill in
® fomc Women, often octafions fome good in ma-
ny Men, by terrifying them from afting that com-
- mon Englijii Sin, for fear of meeting that com-
'■ mon French Punifliment that ufually attends ft,
■■ for many of our fine yoUng Gallants'^ tho' they do
not fear the Sin of the Aft, yet they dread the
■ Sting of the Difeafe 5 the Pain of the Body here,
tho' not the Torment of the Soul hereafter.
To conclude in a word. The prefent modilh
fnpcrficial Love of molt of the fine young Gallants
to their Miltrefles, is become like our preienc
Coin, which either is fo falfe, or fo dipt, as there
I®! remains little of its outward Size, or inward Va-
^ lue. So molt of our young Gallants pretended
W Love to their prefent Miftfeires.is fo falfified and
: t debafcd by their brutilh Lnlt, and unvirtuous De-
llfl ligns, as they only cry up Women for their Beau-
Ea ty, not Goodnefs raoft of them praifipg the lat-
iiiii ter, .butin hopes to enjoy the former moft va-
Hff luing their MiltrelTes Bodies more than their Souls
Ic or indeed their own either. Therefore a young,
fiis Gallants fwearing to his Mifirefs that he loves her
rikif as well as his own Soul, tho' it be a Compliment
Gi that founds great, yet in efFeft 'tis an Expreflion
fei. that means little, becaufe he loves his own Soul
Ellh fo.
llJt
ifc' ' ' , .
iciff . . . - .
fdJ
m . THE
iril(5
f'
DISCOURSE,
:j(i
Of meer Beauty-Love, apd of fame of the j^(
vile Arts^ and rvtcked Deceits many of our jcj
Tmng Gdiants ufe to rnine their Mijlrejfts jui
Reputatioh^ under afalfe Pretince of true Ixii
Friendfhip ; and of the great Folly if fach
Ladies who delight in Lenfttring others,
hat flight ail others Cenfaring them, btcaiije
they fancy they do not deferve it, with fome
ufefal Advices thereon.
Itx
oaE(
I Shall begin this Difcourle with my Delire to
to the Reader, that he will pleafe to believe
this great Truth, That "'tis far from ray Opinion
to think tlicpe can hardly be a pure, virtuous and
innocent Frigadfhip between a beautiful young
Woman, and a handfom young Man, except
grounded upon a Marriage-account, or a near Re-
lation-fcore for tho"" I confefs 1 cReem any other,
fome a-kin to a Rarity, yet I am far from belie-
ving it an ImpolTibiJity •, tho' 1 look on meet
Beauty-Friendfhipto be very fickle and undurable
in molt, becaufe it feldom lafteth longer than the
Womans Beauty that createth it. But where a
Friendfhip is juftly grounded, well fuited, and
vertuoufly fixed, between a Man and a Woman,!
fuch a Friendfhip is certainly one of the greateft,'
and moftlaftingSatisfadions of this Life, lince it
may
lert
ab
£ow
fope
ih
■i:;
lit'f
'Itff
■'h
3ec
a»d COURSES. ^ J
kn
may, and in fome do''s laft as long as life it felf,
and is the high Advantage a rational Man hath o-
ver a Beaft, who, tho' he can love a Companion
to cat v\ ith, yet he cannot chufe a Companion-
i Friend to converfe with, to rely in, arid make
ufe of. And 1 am fure none allows, nay, loves
and eftcems more a well-qualified FriendOiip than
I do ; I mean fuch a fort ofFriendfhip between a
young Man and Woman, as is contraded and
|nji maincain'd upon a lawful and honourable Account,
ifn being founded on vertuousAddrefles, as thofe of
/[, true Friendftiip, Kindred-kindnefs, Marriage-de-
fign, or for Obligations done to ones Family in
general j and Obligations of that nature, every
one of that Family is to acknowledge as done to
himfelfiri particular, and accordingly endeavour
a Requital, or upon any other handfom or law-
ful Account-, for doubtlefs a Friendfiiip that's
vertuoufiy qualified, and pioufly grounded, is
* altogether lawful and unfcandalous, as well as
'"7 highly fatisfadory but my Defign is here only
to write againfl; the common modilh, and meer
fuperficial Beauty-Friendlhip that our young Gal-
''1" lants ufually have, or pretend to have for their
Wifirefles, fpringing out of a meer amorous fit,
without any good Reafon, or true Confideracion ;
J!®" growing up, Mufliioom-like, on a fudden, and
®'®'rais'd only by a fight of a handfom Face at a
oil'®''Play, Park, Court, c7c. which fort of Love f or
rather Fancy ; for a Woman, I ellcem to be
ttiHionly great, becaufe her Beaury is fo, he only lo-
fflic!' yjjjg well, becaufe fhe locks fo. And fure
ei"none can deny, but meer Face-Beauty is Ihallow,
,Voi'"-frail, inconifant and undurable, being as very
rreiii D fading
liact'
^ —
fading as the Complexion 'tis much compos'd of,
and chiefly iliuftratcd with.
I with this fort of Lovers would take into
their fcrious Confideration, where's the real Sa-
tisfaftion a Gallant can any way propofe to him-
fclf to take, in gazing on his Miftrelles Beauti-
fill Face, finceat bell, it can be but a momenta-
ry Eye-pleafure, a thing next to nothing, and as
little lafting as 'tis little worth; fo flight and
fandy a Foundation is meer Beauty built on, it
being indeed only a fine bright burnifh'd Clay,
inamcllM with pure white and red, which by
many of our fine Ladies now a-days, is oftner
bought with Money,than given them by Nature;
and do but unmask the Skin of one of their Faces; | rt
whether her Beauty's bought or given, and'twill j f?
t ertainly at firft fight prove loathfoni to ones
Eyes, and in a very little time noifom to the
Smell, being only fit fornafly Worms, not line
Gallants.
Next let us fnppofe that an araourous young
Gallant fliould be fo profperous and fancically
happy, as by the Expence of much time, many
Oaths, and the Trial of a Thoufand coftly Ef-
fays, to gain not only her free leave to behold her
beautiful Face, but to enjoy her beautiful Pcrfon.
In the firfl place 'tis mofl: certain. That a Beauty-
chafe after a handfom Face, is but like a Fox hunt-
ing Recreation, which tho' you follow never fo
eagerly, yet the pleafure lies only in the purfuit,
net in the taking of the Game. Next, I fhall
dclire the young Gallant toballance with the Plea-
fures he enjoys, the many Troubles he rauft fuf-
fer by the feveral Fears, Doubts, Jealoulies and
vex-
Ga
k
ti;
IBC
ter
to!
tori
vexatious Difappointraents he mufh rencounter
in the keeping and fecuring his new Conqueft;
■ and fure there needs no ftronger an Argument
: to prove both the uncertainty and difficulty of
li: keeping his Miftrefs conftant tohirafelf, than the
k. ealinefs he found in perfwading her to prove in-
conllant to another^ for on the fame fcore that fte
i2 left another for him, fhe may leave him for ano-
ther. Next I (hall delire this Beauty-Lover but to
;r, look into common Experience, and 'twill tell
I'JCi him. That as he will certainly be foon cloy'd
?: with her Face, fohe will be foon weary of her
c" Body, lince he loves the laft, but for the firft ;and
\r fure no Man can be fo ignorant in our wife, arao-
:i:; rous and Romantick Age, as not to know that
fweet Variety is now all in fafhion, and that Love,
] tt like Beauty, cannot always lafl;,bec.aufe great Beau-
lit;; ty it felf never did, nor*never can : And tho*
s,i! moftofourfine,modini Ladies are, as to the Gal-
lantry of having a Gallant very conftant, yet as
gji totheperfon of one Gallant, moft of them are
jjr very inconftant and changeable, becaufe one fuits
j|.^, not with fweet Variety, which is now become the
jj; common Mode, great Delight, and ufual Practice
|j(j^ of moft young Gallants and their Miftreffies.
j'jip. Now laft ofall, and indeed what's worfe, and
•jfj moll ftrange ofall, let us fuppofe that our young
jjj- Gallant's Miltrefs fhould chance to prove ver-
jjp tuous ( w bJch indeed is a chance ) and is fully and
unalterably refolv'd to continue llill fo *, then
[I mull our hot, fie:"ce, fiery Lover's eager delire af-
ter the enjoying hir, render his enfiamed Heart,
to be here on earth, as Dives his Soul was in Hell,
I tormented with a Thirlt never to be quenched ^
^ ] that is, whim her Beauty lives, or till his Love
P 2 dies;
56
CHAR A C T li R S
dies j and indeed, the beft of it is, both are mor-
tal, and neither long-liv'd. In a word, If we
ferioufly fearch into the true Nature, and com-
mon Effefts that tnecr Beauty-Love ufually pro-
duces, we lhall find "'tis ordinarily accompanied
with great Fears, conftant jealoulies, and daily
vexatious Difappointments, which this fort of
Beauty-Love is ufually attended on, tormented
with, and conamonly expires in.
And truly. Reader, 'tis only this fort ofnoifora
p^enuj'Love, and mcer Beauty Friendlhip that I ex-
claim againit, having, as I laid before, no mix-
ture of Marriage-deiign , Family-Obligation,
well-grounded Friendfiiip, or fo much of Kin-
dred-pretencc, as that of a 1Cc//7j Coufin, to fhel-
ter and countenance their long Vifits, and great
Familiarity ; But many Women fancy that the
vertuous Name of Friendlhip excufe the fcan-
dalous one of Gallant, never reflefting on the
valt difference there is in the Carriage between a
true pure Platonick Lover, and a meer Beauty-
Gallant's Friendfliip towards the Woman they
pretend a real kindnefs to, and a concern for,
lincc he that's a Woman's true Friend indeed,mult
make it his main Bufinefs and great Care fo to or-
cler all his Looks, Words and Adtions that any
way relate to that Woman he pretends and vows
a true and vertuous Friendfliip for, as to avoid
giving all Pcrfons theleaft occafion or Umbrage
to fufpeft he has any Dcfign to be eflcem'd her
Beauty-admirer, or pretended Gallant, which is
a Title, a real Friend, on the account of his true
Friendlhip, ought as much to avoid, as a truly
vertuous Woman, on fcore of her good Re-
putation, ought truly to dctcfl, fince 'tis an
undeniable
and D I S C "O U R S E S. 37
I undeniable trutu. That no Man can heartily loves
a Womans Pcrfon, that does not truly love,
a :.d heartily endeavour to preferve her good
f:' Nanre, and make her Honour part of his own.
Nay, I am farther of opinion, that no Man does
love a Woman as a real perfect Friend, that does
not love her Reputation as much as if fhe were
his real Wife, that is, to be a true Partner, and
. joint-fliarer, in her good and bad Fame: Where-
as on the contrary, a meer amorous Gallant,
is a Friend to a Woman raeerly becaufe (he's hand-
fom, and only loves her, becaufe her Beauty likes
him, and fo is a concern'd party, only as to her
good or bad look's, not her bad and good adli-
ons j therefore heufes all his Arts, and employs
all his skill and endeavours, to accomplilh his
wicked ends on her, he fo eagerly Courts j and
if her Piety and Virtue is fo great as fhe will not
5®- fuffer him to enjoy her, yet his wicked dcfign"
^ is fo vile, as to ftrive to make all Men believe he
does it-
In a word, this is the great difference between
a true Friend, and a Fop Gallant, thefirft makes
it his real defign and hearty concern, to pre-
fc' ferve her Reputation; whereas the Amorous
Gallant, makes it his grand bufinefs and fole
aim to deftroy it: But moff Ladies are fo vain
tD- (I had alraoil faid foolilhd as to fancy they can
defend themfelves againfl: all fcandalous reflecti-
EE- ons on their Reputation by the great Strength
of their Wit; but really the ftrength of foch
f- vain Wit, fprings often but from the Weaknefs
s Ji' of their Judgment; therefore I ihall Caution that
Woman who depend fo much on the greatnefs
of her o^nWic, to beware of two things 5
D 3 "
T
I. H A" R A T 11
the firft, is, Hot to rely too much on her own
Wit; The fecond, not to depend too much on
her Gallants Oaths ; left both fail her: For indeed
Tis very common for youngWomen to have a bet-
ter opinion of their own Wit than they ought, and
to place a greater confidence in their LoversOaihs
than they fhould, and fo run into a double Error,
by trufting their own Wit too much, and by
miftrufting their Gallants Oaths too little.
Truly I have often obfcrvM , that many a
young raodeft and balliful Woman when her
Lover makes the firft approaches, as to the
befieging and gaining of her Heart, behaves
her felf "as many young Soldiers do at their
firft coming to the Siege of a Town j they
are then fearful and cautious of all Shots
made towards them, left they fhould wound or
kill them; but after the Siege hath continued
fome time, and they areaccuftcmed to hear the
Bullets fly about their Ears, and to fee Men
fall dead at their Feet, tho' their danger is
full as great at laft, as at firft coming, yet the
Cuftoni leftens their Fears, tho'' not their Dan-
ger *, and thofe Shots, which at the begin-
ning of the Siege, they" fhun'd out of dif-
cfction, they afterwards flight through long
Cuftom. Indeed 'tis much alike with many a
modeft and bafhful young Maid, when her Lover
makes his firft approaches to the befieging and
gaining hei» Heart y at the beginning of the Siege,
jhe's very wary and fearful, bluiliing at every
Praife her Lover fliutes at her, or Compliment he
makes to her, left he fhould wound or deftroy
her good Reputation *, but after fhe has allowed
her Gallants Siege for fome. time, and Ihes ac-
cuftcmed
a»d D
cuflomed to heat his frequent Coraplitnents»
® and Vollics of Oaths in her Praifes, to fly com-
^ monly about her Ears, as they grow more ufual
^ to her, fo fiie grows lefs fearful of them, tho*
they are not the lefs dangerous for being the
more common, and the more they aietrufted,
the more they betray \ for all know, a falfe re-
'■ lied on Friend, is worfe than a declar'd Enemy i
for the firfcyou lie open to, the other you arm
your felf againft. V/henl fee a young Gallant
highly prailing, and eagerly courting bis Miftrefs
'• ( 1 ftill except Marriagej and that Ihe feems
•' much delighted in hearing his extravagant Ro-
■ mantick Praifes of her great Beauty and high
i Perfedfions, it puts me in mind of a ftory in
" i/Efvfs Fables, of a Fox that faw a Raven upon
a Tree, with a Bit in his .Mouth, which the fo.v
had a longing delire to get, which put him a
thinking and calling about what way he might
' Cheat the Raven of it^ at laH he concluded,
f there was no better nor more likely way, than
to praife him out of it; and therefore he told
rt the Rayen^ he was a moil excellent Bird, and
K fell upon extolling and prailing the gracefulnels
of-' of his Perfon, the beauty of his Feathers, his
admirable gift in Augury ; and now, fays the
Fox, if you had but a Voice anfwerable to all
il" your other excellent Qualities, the whole World
ii|i could not fhew fuch another famous Creature :
!& Thefe high Praifes, and Naufeous Flatteries, fo
t£t tranfported the Raven, as it prefently fet him
iic upon opening his IVJouth to try to Sing ,
dii" and in that EQay he dropt the Foxe^s defired
illoi Bit, which he prefently run away with, and
Hicii bid the R(^ven to remember, the'' he extol-
lion ' D 4 led
-
4 0 C H A R A C T E R S
led his Beauty, yet he commended not his Brains,
Indeed'tis much alike, that of a young Gal-
lants courting his Miftreft, and his over-magni-
fying and extolling her Beauty j ufually all the
defign his great Courtfhip aims at, is only for
the defired Bit of Enjoyment j which he no
fooner obtains, but he prefently quits his Fond-
ncfs for her, and Courtfhip to her, and runs
away in the purfuit of fome new frefli Conquefl;
and in efFeft, fays the fame to the Woman, as
the Fox did to the Raven ^ tho' he did commend
her Beauty^ he did not praife her Wit, but now
Laughs at her Folly to be fo deceived.
The Moral of this Story is. That a Woman
that can be fo vainly fooliflr as to be brought to
believe fhc is, what indeed fhe is not, may pof-
fibly, by the fame Rule of Folly, be perfwaded
to do what fhe ought not to do ; and to admit
her Gallant to StulF her Mind fo full of the
Praifes of her Beauty, as fhe has no room left,
or time to fpare, to think of Countermining her
Gallants Plots againft her Virtue and Reputati-
on j for as many-Lights blind the fight, fo ma-
ny Praifes dim the Eyes of many Woraens Un-
derftanding and Confidcration; and whilll her
Gallant Swears fhc's the PoflelForof numbers of
Virtues and Perfedions , flie ought never to
claim ^ fne negleds her Chaftity, which flie ought
ever to keep, leaving the fubflance of pure Vir-
tue for the fhadow ot vain Praifes.
Now Thave done the Story of the Craft of
the Four-legged Fo.v, I fhall begin to name the
Folly of many fine handfom Ladies, that fufFer
themfelves to be cheated by the vile Arts of anc-
ther foft of Two legged Fcxes^ which the Men
■ '■■■■ call
and ! ; ! S U R S H b. 41
call (j Mainsbiic molt of the Ladies that en-
terrain them, efteeming the name of Gallant too
courfe and fcandalous, call them (or rather mis-
call them) their Friends: I wi(h I could fay they
were, by the Ladies, more known than trulled ;
but indeed they are trulled, bscaufe not knov/n.
This fort of Two-legged foxes, are full as
Crafty, altogether as Treacherous, and abun-
dantly more Mischievous than the Four-legged
Foxes •, becaufe thefe only worry the Bodies of
poor fraall inconfiderable Creatures, meerly to
fatisfy their Hunger ■, but thefe Two legged
Foxes, called Gallants, often rot their Miltrelfes
Bodies, and fometiraes damn their Souls for ever,
only to fatisfy their prefent Lull.
1 lhall now a little glanfe my Difcourfe on
thefe Gallants ufual way of advancing their Ap-
proaches towards the gaining , their MiltreffeS
favour and efteem, that is, the liberty to ruin
their Reputation •, for tho' moll of our young
Gallants are grown too crafty and well-bred, to
tell them in plain down-right Englifh, That
their aim is to debauch and make them their
Mifles j yet moll of their deligns and endeavours
are fuch, whatfoever they fay or fwear to the
contrary •, and therefore they ufe many Strata-
gems, and put on feveral Difguifes, that if one
fail, another may take, garnifhing all their Dif-
courfes with great Oaths of a mpft pairionate
and moil undecaying Friendihip and Reality,
and many fuch like Lovers Canting Exprelfions,
which ufually are as conftant to one VVomans
Beauty, as the Wind is conftant to one Point of
the Compafs^ and indeed, both arc fo Waver-
ing and in^onftant, as 'tis able tomakeafober
unco:
C H A it K C T E R S
unconcerned perfon y to fwell as much with
Laughter, as the Ladies Gallant does with Love,
to obferve what A'ts he ufes, what Stratagems
he pradifes, what Pains he takes, what Oaths
he makes, nay, vhac Oaths he breaks, to make
his MiftreH, believe him, what perhaps he h not,
(for indeed few Gallants arej real, conllant,
and virtuous Lovers •, for moll of their Love-
Oaths are not the true IlTueof a pious, well-
meaning, and unalterable AfFedion, but meerly
the amorous and flafliy cTeds of a lullfal vio-
lent Pafllon which they ufe to fcrew themfelvcs
up into their MiftreiTes Favour ; which the better
to obtain, they cry her up for the heft Woman
and trueft Friend in the whole World ; That
her beauty is charming, her Carriage Civil and
obliging, her Converfe moft agreeable, her Wit
quick, her Motions taking, which make all that
lee her admire and praife her, and all that know
her, love and efteem her ; in a word, flies
Mifirefs of all the Perfedions of all Kinds, De-
greesand Qjialities, that belong to the compleat-
ment of the moft perfeft of her Sex-; which makes
her Gallant Swear, He is fo far from being able
lingly to exprcfs all her Merits, as "tis not in
the power of all the greateft vVits in the World
together to cxtrad out of the 24 Letters fo many
Praifes as her Merits juftiy claim and truly de->
ferve. Now her Lover hath told her what fhe
now is; his next part is to Swear to her what
he now is, and ever will be, in all his Pretences
and Addrefies to her, which is, that they fhall b?
all ever pure, innocent and unbyas'd, free from
all Self-intereft and ill Defigns, or fo much as
any unhandfom. Thoughts,, and fo takes upon
him I
.UuL^mtnSBS 4?
him whether Ihe will or no, or at kail fhe knows
not why, the officious office of ferving herin all
her concerns, that is, in ferving hiinfelfi for he
deiigns they two fhall be all one. This part I
believe he means really ^ but for that of his con-
ftant Love, and unalterable Friendfhip, tho' he
Swears to its Truth a thoufand times, yet as to
that, 1 fancy he only deals with his Miftrefs, as
a Cheat does with a IMerchant, that is Fool
_ enough to truffi him ^ he proraifes him any thing,
becaufe he reibrves to perform nothing •, and
defies the Ware he takes to be fo bad, as the
^ Payment "he means tc make So thefe fort of |
Beauty-admirers, love in effeft but after this
"f rate. Vowing to his prefent Miflrefs, tho' he |
knows fhe hath crowds of Adorers, yet none of
' them are to be compared to him \ for he loves
her not only above the World, but he love the
^ World only for her ^ Svvearing to her, That
• what Ihe diflikes, he hates; what fhe loves, he
is fond of 4 and that her Will is his Will in all
things •, he being to her juft like Clay in the Pot-
■i' ters Hand, which fhe may Work into what ffiape !
fhe pleafes : Thefe are his ordinary Proteflations '
■ ( I do not fay real Meanings; and is the common
■ Prelude to the Tune of his making love (or ra-
" ther pradfifing deceit) lince ufually all his large i
repeated Oaths only aim to make his Miftrefs i
• to him, as a Wife is to a Husband ; which is.
That they two ffiould be but one Flefh, (Marriage
h ftill excepted, for he will be to her Beauty, on-
f'^lyaTenent at Will, not for Life 5) and in or-
I!* der hereunto, he ventures telling his Miftrefs,
That the Tyeof Friendffiip is much morenatu- j
If- ral and agreeable, than the dull heavy Chains
!^^S!-5a—
44 C H T E R S
of Matrimony ; for thefirft is made wholly and
and foly by the Womans own voluntary choice,
the other ufually by the advice and perfualion
of Friends \ nay, oficn by the terrible and
powerful awe and threatnings of Parents •, and
lure fuch a Match as it made upbv fear o; tn; ce,
and no Love nor liking, a Wife mnrnoc biu eem
fuch a Husband, to be raiij; i a Lroubie > ner
Days, than a Comfort to her Life.
And now I name Marriage, give leave
by the by to tell you, in a wo:d rnyu^nn'on
and Obfervation on HeirelTes of j ^ - F.ftates,
I'hat they are generally more unfortu''n.; ■ nar-
ried than other Women that have but faia: ; For-
tunes i becaufe rich Heircfies, are commonly
fold by their Guardians, or betfay'd by their
Kinfmen or Favorite Waitipg-Worpau \ for'tis
ar fatal confequcnce that nfually attends great
HeirelTes, that becaufe they have i;reai:er Fortunes
than they really need, they muft have lefs con-
tent, than they truly want, and mufl: enjoy lit-
tie Comfort, becaufe they pofTcTs much Riches,
And as many HeirelTes are render'd unfortunate
by having very large Fortunes;, fomany young
Women fuffer many fowl Cenfures for having'
a large proportion of Beauty ^ whilfl other
Women, that are very far from being handfom,
live very far from Scandals, tho' perhaps not
free from deferving them.
And now Reader, I have mention'd a few of
the many Arts and deceitful words, young Gal-
iants ufe to deceive their MiftrelTes with give
me leave but only to name a few of the ordina-
ry ex.cnfes or rather juftifications, divers of their
MiftrefTes( tho perhaps other Mens Wives)
alkdg
^alledg ia their own Defence and Juftification,
uj^^and with them feem fully fatisfied , the' their
j|Triends and Relations are far from being fo, to
j. whom they owe a refpedt and ought to have
a concern for, tho"'they receive no Maintenance
J.'from; and when once an Amour between a Mif-
;trefs and her Gallant comes to flame out, to pub-
lick view, and fo makes common Difcourfc, it
mufl come at lafl: to her Friends and Kindreds
^ Ears ^ for they cannot but hear, what all fpeak
' aloud to her Shame, and their Difcredit, which
■ muft. make them troubled at it, and be much
'concern'd for her, tho' perhaps flies not in the
leaft for her felf, and therefore when her Friends
and Kindred come to difcourfe and argue with
® her about it, and aflure her, tho' her, Intentions
be never fo innocent and virtuous, yet her keep-
' ing fo much Company with fuch a Man cannot
but raife fcandalous Cenfures and ill Refledtions
f upon their Credit and her Reputation; but fhe
to this part of their Accufation, feems more in-
' cenfed at what they fay, than at what flie does,
and inftead of finking into a Fit of Repentance
for her own Deeds, flie fwells into a Fit of An-
gerat their Words, in quellioning her virtuous
- Life and difcreet carriage, protefting fiie does
■ not in the leaft deferve her Friends ill Opinion,
> or the Worlds bad Cenfure, and therefore fays,
flie has good reafon to exclaim againft their un-
juft Jealoufy of her, and fliarp Language to her,
vowing flie never led but a pure innocent Life in
all her Thoughts, Words and Adfions with that
i? Man they accufe her of, and condemn her for,
d there having never been other than a pure Pla-
■I' tonick Love and Friendfhip defign'd by her, and
flie
*
46 C H A R A G T £ R S
ihe verily believes intended by hira ; and there-
fore, inftead of exculing her carriage to him,
Ihe falls upon extolling and magnifying his great
Civility to her, how obligi ^g and friendly he
llill Ihewcd himfelf in all her Concerns, on all
Occafions, and that with much Franknefs, high
Difcretion, great Reality, and abundance of Ge-
nerofity and as long as his Vifits were kept in
the bounds of ftrift Virtue and true Civility,
fhe cannot any way conceive, how her keeping
company with him, can in the leaft bring a
di(honour to her Self, or Family ; and therefore
Ihe ought not to be fo barbaroufly ill-naturM and
ungratefully iinjuft, as to withdraw her harm-
lefs Converfation and juftifiable Frienddiip to
this her Friend, by forbidding him vifiting her,
Jince that were in eifcft to proclaim to the World
the falfenefs of his Love, and the fcandal of his
Company, and by it all may conclude. That he
has either fpoke ill of her Reputation , or has
aded fomc rudcnefs to her Perfon already, or
that fhe hath reafon to fear he willdo it hereaf-
ter, and therefore has forbid him her Company,
either upon the account of revenge for whats paft,
or by the way of prevention for the time to come;
therefore, I am clear of opinion, a Woman
ought not to forbid an old Friend and Acquaint-
ance vifiting her, except it be upon one of thefe
two namM Accounts, or elfe upon the fcore that
fhe has reafon to believe her Husband does not
well rellifh his coming fo often to her ; and if
that be the Eufinefs, ,if this her Friend be what
he really pretends to be, and fhe feems to believe
he is, he cannot juflly take it ill that fhe freely
tells him, That his vifiting her fo conftantly,
tho'
D t
S E S.
47
tho" their Converfe be never fo Vertuous and In-
nocent, yet fhe has fome caufe to fear, it has,
or may, if long continued, raife her Husbands
Diflike, and the Worlds Cenfure*, therefore,
to prevent both, and fecure her ov^n Quiet, and
good Reputation, (lie friendly defires him, for
the future, to make his Vifits Ihorter, and fel-
domer, to flop all bufy ill-natured Cenfurers
Tongues , and any Jealoufies their malicious
Twatlings might raife in her Husbands Mind:
And fure if this her dear efteemed Friend truly
deferves that Title, he mull value her Honour
as part of his ov/n, and make her Content his
Satisfadion, fince Ihe freely and heartily
allures him, "'tis not at all upon the account of
her lelTening her true Eftecra and Friendfliip for
him, but meerly to fecure her Husbands Love
and Kindnefs to her, that Ihe delires this of
him.
Next, I lhall advife that Woman who Hands
fo much on her inward Vertue, as to flight her
Friends Advice, and the Worlds Cenfure for
keeping her Friend fo much company, ferioufly
to confider. That "'tis above the power of any
Mortal,to dive into a Womans inward Thoughts,
and that Men can only behold her outward Adi-
ons, not inward Intentions: For tho' Men can
fee her Lips move, when Ihe whifpers, yet they
cannot tell, what fhe fpeaks when Ihe does fo.
Much lefs are they able to dive into either cf
their Meanings \ for that's fo great a fecrer, as
one of them may deceive the other with for all
their Vows and Oaths of an open Heart, a true
Love, and an unalterable Friendlhip.
I
48 C H A U 7V^ F
F G ^ S T
Ami
rdol
liiiJI
I could name a thouTand Arts, Slights and
Deceits, that many Gallants life to their MiHref- j ®
fcs, but I am fare I Ihould fooner tire my Rea- i
ders Patience with their great numbers, than by |
their great numbers to confirm his belief of their
great Truth, except it be the Truth of their
great Folly and vile Falfity; for indeed moll
of the young Gallants of our prefent fober and
Vertuous Age, do commonly in their Courtlhip
to their prefent jViiftrelTcs, carry little Truth in
their Heart, but many more Romantick Lies
on their Tongues than Teeth in their Mouth.
And now, Reader, pray give me leave to change
n little the Scene of my Difcourfe of the great
Beauty of the Miftrelfes, to add a word of the
great and wicked adtings of Ibme of their Gal-
Jants, who having tried all arts and means they
cculd invent to gain their Millrefies Htart ( 1 Hill
except Marriage ) and after all their Efiavs, find
it fo ftrongly fortified, and fully Garrifon'd with
Vertue and Piety, as they fee it impregnable
f.gainfl all their Batteries and Affaults, fo as to
call thcmfelvcs into an utter defpah of ever
gaining their wicked ends on them; I fay, can
any Man of common Senfe, not think it full
time for him to found a Retreat as to following
rhcir Fcrfons, tho' he cannot leave admiring
their Beauty? Indeed I have ever obferved that
Jrnportimity fiill breeds Trouble; but I never
beard, it over created Love in a Miftrefs. Yet
this fort of wicked, fcolifli Gallants are fo inde-
fitigaldcin the folly of their endlefs Purfuit af-
tcr their MiflTefs, as they will not believe they
hate them, tho' their Words and Aftions declare
their fcorn and averfion to them; but they will
tell
ioUe
ligioo
Pbft
My Tfj
krB
tkg(
siHfj
cooldt
krjfo
difgiilf
HeveD!
foretj
lirtue
geatP
TOltly
c tell you, whats three Kicics of denial to a Lover
•; that has read the Patience of Joby or the fober
I Temper of Semcay or has often experimented
the Inconftancy and Ficklenefs of an ill hu-
(ii mored Miftrefs, which perhaps exceeds both ?
And therefore, by way of Revenge he quickly
refolves, rather than be publickly ridiculed for
c;- miffing his aim, lofing his time, and not gaining
r; his Miftrefs, fince he cannot enjoy her fair Perfon,
he will endeavour blafting her good Name, and
j:make the World believe file's kind to him, tho'
i ftie's only really fo to her own Virtue and Re-
jQ-putation, by defpifing him, and all his Court-
Ij. ftiip; and the better to accomplifii his bafe and
; treacherous Defign on her, he alters his Courfe,
changes his Battery, and comes and throws him-
fclf at his Virtuous MifirelTes Feet, with the
r greateft feeraing Joy imaginable. That God has
blelTed him, as he is now become an intire re-
ji|i,Iigious Convert, who has abandoned all the vain
j^Pleafures of this World, to contemplate the
jj pure and endlefs Felicities of Heaven ; and that
now, inftead of being a Slave to the Beauty of
,. her Body, he is become a devout well wifiier to
'tthe good of her Soul: And intends to be fo vile
i; '; an Hypocrite and wicked a Sinner, that fince he
could not gain her Body by all earthly means,
"'he refolves to fiie to Heaven it felf for a religious
''I' difguife to ruin her Reputation, andfatisfy his
'■Revenge, fince he could not his Love; and there-
® fore he now only pretends to pure Piety, ftrid
'^'virtue, true Humility, much Gravity, and
'f'^great Penitency in all his Difcourfes and Adtions
■^':(Imean before her only) and ferioufly and de-
s'^^outly protefteth to her (for in this Difguife
k) he dares not Swear) that he highly rejoyceth
E that
m
5°
C H
A "R A C T 15
li S
that all the Courtfhip he made, and Perfwafions
he ufed, ferved only to try her Humour, not
tempt her Virtue, which he now highly rejoyces
to find proof againfl: all Temptations, Vowing
to her he is now more delighted with the true
Virtue of her Mind, than ever he was formerly
taken with the great Beauty of her Face; for
the firft: is pure and Heavenly, the lafl meet fen-
fual; the fini relilheth of Angel-Love , the
fecond may, and often does, favour of meerbru-
tal Luft: And thus, whilfl: he makes up all his
Difcourfes in praifing and magnifying her great
Virtue to her felf, he ufes all bafe , oblique
and fubtle Endeavours, and underhand Arts of
Defamation , to brand and blemifh her good
Name to all others, and thus hopes to obtain his
bafe revengful Ends, by a Holy and Heavenly
means. And in purfuit of this his bafe wicked
and Treacherous Defign, he entertains her, with
ho w highly he is delighted that he has quite ftript
hirafelf of the Fools-Coat of a vain amorous
Lover, to Cloath hirafelf with the pious fober
Drefs of a holy Convert, and a Devout Chri-
flian; and that he now does, and ever will,
make it his hearty Prayers, real Endeavours, and
main Concern, to keep her, as well as himfelf,
always full of Heavenly Contempfations of the
other World, by an intire forfaking and abomi-
nating all the Wick^dnefs and Vanities of this;
and by this mounting her mind above, he hopes
the eafier to delude her Thoughts here below,
and fo to make her not to value any of this World's
concerns, and to over-look earthly Cenfures,
as being things all pious Chriftians mull of courfe
meet with, in this their earthly Pilgrimage, not
on the account of any paniculai- afflidUon and pu-
^ niffimPTir
liiii
:esti
IKf
Till
:nf3!
is
|n;ii
broi
:aJ
isiiei
n
Tt
is I
iairi
iteli
si as
I.,..,
Ijli
eic's
ladf
;Ho
ii!al
a t.
S. 5r
jjjjjiifhment for their own private Faults, but as the
j^ommon Frailty appertaining to ail human Be-
jj^^ng. And thus he entertains her, or rather arau- .
j^jZes her, with heavenly Contemplations, and a
|,^f.neer feeming pure religious Platonick Friendihip,
jjjj'hat he may, by his good and pious converlation,
jj.j-epair often, talk much, and vifit long, unmif-
,jj'j,:rufl:ed by her, but much obfervM, and highly
J ;enfur'd by all others, who fee his long and often
ij^'^ifitsto her, but hear not her religious Difcourfes
Vvith him, or his to her j and by this bafe, trea-
_:herous Difguife, he hopes others v.dll think
Jjiim Mafter of her Body, v/hilfthe pretends to
'jjj^^ier, to be only a devout Servant to her Soul,
^jj\nd pleafeth himfelf by putting a religious Cheat
.Jn her pious Meanings and virtuous Aftions,
„ ,nd makes ufe of God"'s good Name, only to pro-
/'lure her a bad one.
There is a remarkable Story, fomething of
®',.his nature, to be read in Jofephus, of a raoft
'"""are Lady in Rome^ called Paulina , who was
^luch renownM for her high Birth, great Virtue,
""'pmirable Wit, charming Beauty, abundant
""Vealth, tranfcendent Wifdom and Difcretion j
as an addition to all thefe, fne was in the very
'""'finie and Bloflbm of her Age ^ and what's yet
'rfonger than all thefe, fliewas reverenc'd by all,
a Mirror of Chaftity j and thatfo many rare
w'^alities Ihould all center in one Woman, where
^"here's hardly one of them to be found in many
W/omen, I am fure is not one of the fmallelt
5 miracles in Rome^ which could never be nam'd
ilV®ae Holy City upon the account of the ma-
holy and virtuous Women in it ^ for in
i^ome all know Miracles are very plenty, but
Women very fcarce, and fo are indeed
ifldp E -chaft
52 CHARACTERS
ejj
fpe
P
Go:
fof
chaft Clefgy-Mcn; for the younger fort of
them love more to make many handfom Women Lj
unvirtuous, but reprove few, if any, for being j,,
fo, or Penancing them that they are fo. This jj,
admirable Paulina, was married to a young Noble
Man, that well match'd her in all her Excellencies,
and Virtues. He was called Saturnam. There
was a perfon of great efteem, nam'd Deems Mm-
dUs that fell defperately in love with her, but
could not corrupt her, fo as to enjoy her one
Night, with all the Arts he could ufe, and vaft
Proffers he did offer to the value of two hundred
tboufand Drachmas, which in our Mony amounts
to about fix tboufand Pounds •, but after having
found all his Eflays of gaining her, fruitlefs, her
Heart being impregnable, he fell into fo great
a Melancholy, and fo deep a Defpair, as he re-
folved, fince, he could not feafl himfelf on her
Beauty, he would Starve himfelf to Death, to be
deliver'd from the Tyranny of his violent Love-
paffion for her, that fo tormented him; but a
Woman, call'd Ida, being much troubled he
Ihould undergo fuch a fad Death, went to him
and defir'd him not to die with Defpair, for fhe
had thought of a means, that for fifty thoufand
Drachmas, which fhe would fo difpofe as a Bribe,
that he fliould enjoy his dear Paulina : To accom
plifh which, fhe pradifed this fubtil, but wicked
Policy, by addrefiing her felf to aPriefbof the
Temple, who upon her large Promifes and Of-
fers of great Sums ( which is flill a prevailing
Argument among the Popifh Clergy ) fhe laid
him down 25000 Drachmas, and ingaging to
him as much more as foon as he had perform'd
what fhe defired. She then acquainted him witli
the violent Love-paflion Mmdns had for PahUms
beg-
(fo
m
pre
tk
Goi
wli
kr
flip;
and
tk
4
ofbi
wicl
fin
retir
h
Jiadi
and Di^ COURSES. 5 J
t rl
* begging him to contrive fome way that he might
® jenjoy her, or elfe he could not long enjoy his
^1: own Life : The Prieft, poffelTed with the great
Jj; Sum (he gave him, and the much more that Ihe
p engaged to give him, promifed. That Mmdus
® fhould enjoy PauUna for a whole Night j And
^ he having free accefs to her, defired he might
fpeak with her in private, which Ihe readily
p granted him, who told her, he was fent by the
God Ambis, who was much inamored with her
charming Beauty, and defired that Ihe would
give him a meeting that night. This Difcourfe
® fo pleafed Paulina^ as (he could not forbear telling
fome of her intimate Friends how (he had been
honoured with an amorous follicitation of a God,
'f': ( for tho' (he was an excellent Woman, yet (he
was ftill a Woman, and confequently vain and
fclf. proud of her Beauty. ) Paulina thought fit, in
the firfl place, to acquaint her Husband, how
ei;t' God Anuhis had fent that he would come to her,
ir which her Husband confented to , relying on
yiii- her great Chaftity (he therefore, after (he had
Mtn fupp'd at her ufual hour, repair'd to the Temple,
itifi and in the Prieft his Houfe (he went to bed, and
jffc the Gates being by the Fried (liut and the Lights
asii' in her Chamber taken away, APundus, that was
lor hid in the Chamber, failed not to accoft her,
|)!itr who (he thought was God Anubis. By this art
Kin of his and miftake of hers, APundus fatisfied his
{aC wicked luftful dcfire of her all that Night, and
preK early in the morning before the Priefts were
)| ftirring ('who were privy to the Treachery,) he
igapii retired himfelf, ind Paulina alfp returned early in
pciiif the morning to her Husband, and acquainted
tiui him how God Anubis had appeared unto her, and
' made h?r boaft to forae of her familiar Friends,
1^ E i ' what
what conferencc^he had ufed wi.h her, which
fome of them could not believeothers were
amazed at it, confidering her great Chaflity.
About three days after, Miindus meeting Paulina^
told her, flie had faved him two hundred thou-
land Drachra-s, which Ihe might have put in her
Treafure^ but, fa id he, I am not much troubled
that you contemned me under the name of Mun-
dus, fincc I have fatisfied my defire by enjoying
you under the Name of Aniih\s\ and fo left her.
She amazed at his high Impudence, and vexed
at her own Misfortune, tore her Garments, and
went and told her Husband of Mundus his
bafe, wicked and fdbrile Deceit, and begged his
afllllance in the profecution of her Revenge;
and prefently acquainted the Emperour Tiberim
of every particular of their vile Treachery ;
who after a ftridt examination of the Priefts
concerning this bafe foul Fad , he, condemned
them and Ida. the contriver of the Plot againlt
Taidina., to be all hanged, the Temple to be pulled
down, the Statue of A»nbis to be call into the Ri-
vcr of Tiber, and Mnndus to bebanifhed.
This fad Story teacheth all Women this good
Dodrin, That they are not to grant a Man ex-
traordinary Opportunities, tho' upon never fo ex-
III traordinary Pretences, wicnefs this wicked Cheat
™ pradifed on the Virtuous- The raellage
Ipl lent to meet him,wa$nolefs than faom a God: The
III Mcllenger that brought it was no worfe than a
Priefl; of the Temple fnc had her Husband's
free confent to juftify her, and her own pure
Innocence to proted her^ yet when flie lay that
Night from her Husband, Ihe ftray'd that Night
from her Prudence, by fancying a God had more
peed oj: defire to have her appear to.bim in Bed
out
'""out of her Houfe,than up and dreftiniti but it
® feetns the Name of a God had a charming power to
j.'' deceive a Mortal Woman, when vaft Gifts, large
^ Promifes,and the moft fubtile Arts could not pre-
® vail, which I may well fay again is a Pattern ufe-
ful to inftruft Women. This prudent Caution,
'' not to trull Men with over-great Liberties and
J,; unufual Opportunities, tho"' they bow down
their Knees to the Ground, and lift up their Eyes
to Heaven, humbly to make God a Witnefs of
j"; their unalterable Conftancy and real Affection,
I lay a Wife, Virtuous Woman ought not to rely
on either, fince there may be Deceit in both.
Really as a Virtuous Wife cannot be too cau-
!:■ tious and careful to maintain a good Reputation,
!;■ fo fne cannot be too wary and watchful to avoid
'•f" a bad one, and confequently to Ihun Mens Court-
fhip, the grand occalion of it, fince more hand-
fom Women lofe their Reputation by being
T publickly courted, than by being privately en-
joyed j for tho' the one is but a high Folly, the
other a great Sin, yet the firll raifes a publick
Scandal, whilft the other is but a private Crime
between themfelves, and cannot be talked of by
many, becaufe known but by few •, and indeed
'tis held by divers Men, a meafuring call, and a
difputable quellion, which is woiTe, a Wife that's
inwardly Virtuous, but outwardly in difcreet,
or a Wife that's outwardly difcreet, but not in-
wardly Virtuous: I dare not undertake to tell
oita you which is the bell of the two, but lamfure
they are both bad: yet I fancy the firll is
iif® lefsill, fince 'tis doubtlefs a greater crime to
tNi3 offend God, than injure Men, a Scandal not
idf being fo bad as a Sin^ for a Scandal may
]0 rife only for breaking a Conitry Cuftom, but
56 C H A R A ~C T E K S
a fin, can only rife frotn breaking a heavenly
Command.
A Wife that's outwardly fcandalous in her
carriage, tho' never fo iiivyardly Vertiious in
her intentions, yet that can give no fatisfadion,
or make any reparation to her Husbands Rcpu-
tation i for if a Mans Wife be generally report-
ed faulty, 'tis the faine to her Husbands Honour,
as if fhe were really fo for tho' her inward
Virtue and Innocency is hers, yet the fcandal of
the ill report is his, fo that the Wives being free
from the Sin, does not clear the Husband from
the fiiame. Now of all that I have writ, good
Wives ought to make this Conclufion, that fince
'tjs not a Womans Innocency of Life, but her
difcreet living in the fight of the World , that
muft preferve, or iruin her Reputation in it, and
as much of her Husbands Honour, as relates to
it, this Confequence muft needs be undeniable,
that a good Wife is as well obliged tolivedif-
creetly on her Husbands account, as Ihe is bound
to live Virtuoufly on her own, and to be truly
careful, ftridlydiligent, and purely raodefl: in
all her Looks, Words, and Adions towards
Men, fince as you juli read before, many Men
are fo very falfe, treacl)erous and wicked, that if
they cannot by all earthly means gain their Mif-
trelTes kindnefs, they will fly to Heaven it felf
for a difguife to ruin their Reputation.
Therefore that Wife that is truly Virtuous,
and that truly refolves to continue fo, andde-
fires to be by all thought fuch, muft not only
avoid doing what's really i}!, but what's feeming-
ly imprudent; and fo mny occafion, tho'not de-
ferve cenfare, and in order thereunto fhe's to
avoid all ftandalous.company of either Sex, and
nnt
and DISCOURSE S. 57
;;; not only to fhun all Sin, but all Inviters to it, or
'' Patterns of it; for evil Communication not only
^ corrupts good Manners, but creates a bad Repu-
tation; therefore a Virtuous Wife mull not only
P abftain from making an intimacy with, but re-
tI ceiving Vifits from, lucb as are branded with a
genera! ill Reputation j for 'tis a fault to keep
company with fuch as are commonly efteemed to
be faulty for that Woman that truly hates fuch
I™ Woracns Vices will Shun their Company for their
Vices fake ; for as Virtue is only followed by the
^ Virtuous, fo Vice is only by the vicious, fo that a
good Wife ought to bcdifcreetas well as virtu-
'""^ous, fince if {he be not the one, fhe will hardly
! ® pafs for the other ; and 'tis much to be doubted,
"Vthat fhe that will not keep in the Bounds of a dif-
creet outward Carriage, will hardly contain her
®®-felf in the Limits of a pure inward Virtue,
'^'■"Laftly, fince Self-intereft ( to fpeak moderately)
!'^-governs the greateft: part of the World in all
ci'''things, fure it ought to govern all good Women
lis'in this one thing, efpecially fince 'tis fo much for
mi® their advantage, which none can deny, who con-
dj' fiders, that 'tis a certain Rule, and a common
Praftice, that fhe that Cenfures others, muft
it;,'expeft that others will Cenfure her, for in this
yi'uSirule, there is rarely any favour fhewed, or re-
Aped given ; and therefore a Prudent Woman
)E:: cannot but efleem it both reafonable and necef-
lioi ary to believe that by pafllng lharp Cenfures on
in;lil)thcrs, whether they do much, little, or not at
i[i;;ii ll deferve them, yet they are ftill received, and
51:;;often returned, by thofethey are intended for,
.'jAi'nd level'd at, with great Anger, bitter Malice,
jjj^ . nd fliarp Revenge i for tho' they fall oa thofc
are truly fauky, fo juftly deferve theq,
)f Z£L.
yet that hinders not fuch from being tranrported
with Fury againfl: the Reporters of them ^ for tho'
many Women love to commit faults, yet molt
hate to be told they do.
And if you blame and cenfure thofe whofe good
and virtuous Life no way deferves fuch lharp
Cenfures, they will be fure to beincenfed againft
you for unjultly accufingthem, fo that both Good,
and Bad will be angry to be ill fpoke of; and
this methinks Ihould dilTwade all Women, that
pretend to Wifdom and Difcretion, to avoid
fcandalizing any; for if you fpeak ill of a Wo-
man, as on your own knowledg, and yet do not
certainly know it, you commit a divelifli fault,
by telling a Lie, and fo raife a Blifter on your
own Tongue, by endeavouring to raife a Scan-
dal on her Fame ^ and if you report Scandalous
things of a Woman as Truth, only upon the ac-ji?o
count of hearing therb from others, 'tis very pof- jfe
lible you tell a Lye at 2d Hand,by telling that as a
Truth, which you are not certain is fo; therefore,
'tis my advice to all Ladies to root out of their
praftice, this bafe, tho' modifh Crime of Defaraa-
tion, which will do you hurt, but can never do
you good ; for you will always get Hatred for it,
but never gain Love by itj fo that indeed the beft
and mofl: prudent Courfe, is, that of perfons you
cannot fpeak v/ell of, be filent, and rather make'
their Faults the fubjed of your Trouble, than that hi;
of your Difcourfe, or the exercife of your Wir,|,',if(
which is in truth, but the pradicc of your Malice
And as Cheating can never make a partoftrua
Wifdom, fo. ill Nature can nevey make a part o|
good Wit i andindeedWomen may rely upon thii
as almoft an infallible Rule, that thole that delighi;
in Cenfuring others before you, will as welldc'
1 tcrll!
ilf
lit
'on
331
^331
'I)r
afid D I S e O i3 sis 59
iK light in cenfuring you before others, alToon as your
back is turned. In a word, thofe that take plea-
I., fure in fcandaljzing others, whether it be to make
Difcourie, or to ibew Wit, or to vent Malice,
p'tis not onlyUnjuft and Unhandfom,but'tis what"'s
UsT worfe than both , irreligious and deceitful , if
^you will take St Jamcs\ word for it, for he fays,
^ If any amongyOH feemcth ReligioHS, and bridleth not
\:his Tongue^ he deeeiveth his crvn Heart, and his Re-
\:hgion is vain, James i. 26.
ir. Laftly, give me leave to mind you again, that
li flie that will cenfure others, rauft exped others
twill cenfure her ; and you know that one that
::fights many, mull needs fight upon great difad-
0!?vantage ^ fo in matter of Cenfures and Scandals flie
lithat provokes many Tongues to Shoot at her own
siJingle Reputation, thofe many are much likelier to
);:'Wound her, than Ihe to wound thofe many ; fincc
[pfhe that fhootsat the Reputation of great numbers
jiisof Women, 'tis improbable flie fiiould hit all jbut
•■;:;if great numbers fliootall at one, 'tis very impro-
•dbable that one Ihould be miffed by all •, fothat 'tis
:p^jnfafe as well as unreafonable and imprudent for
5.;;iny one i Woman to provoke many Women Cer-
j^ainly to csft Iharp Cenfures on her, meerly out
i of her uncertain hopes to call: Scandals on them.
And Cenfurer difguife your malicious ill na-
Lfure, with the pureft Glofs, and the beft Wit
f you can : You lhall never make it pafs for true
'^Wifdom and good Policy, to forfeit your Judg-
|,',;nent, to exercifeyour Wit-, Therefore if your
Prudence and Difcretion cannot hinder you from
;','.ngaging in fuch an unequal Cambat, as one
pjTonpe rauftbe to fight againft many, pray let
„felf-inter eft, upon the account of felf-prelervati-
If 3, diflliade you from it j and remember, to be
" \ vvorfted
6o C II A R A C T E R S
worfled in fightisftilldifgraceful, as well astob
vidorious, is evef glorious]: Therefore, rather fo
low Prudence, than praQiife Malice ; and rathe
conceal your Wit, than divulge your Envy, c
exercife your ill Nature j and fince foul cenfui
ing is ever bad, ftill remember, you can nev(
ftiew good Wit, by doing an ill thing. .
And now. Reader, to conclude all in one wor^j
( for 1 know I have reafon to believe that I ha\
already writ too many, to tire your Patieno
tho' perhaps not to convince your opinion, ) th
a virtuous Woman ought to avoid publick Cei
fures, as well as private Sins; and to fliun as mu''
getting an ill Name, as committing a bad Ac
Now to prevent both, let all your Thoughts t
good, and all your Words and Aftions difcrei^
and Un-cenforious, that tho' the Beauty of yoi
Perfon, may caufe fomethat are unvirtuous, t
■wifh you fo, yet let the Piety of your Life, an
the Prudence of your Carriage, caufe all fuch thi jjj
are truly Religious and ftridly Virtuous, tor
port you to be the like •, and make it always yoi
great care, and conftant concern, that you nevi
fcandalize any, and your great trouble, thatai
fiiouId|ever fcandalize you i for let a Woman
never lb purely virtuous, and free from defertod
ing bad Cenfures , yet (he mull be unfortuna
in receiving them; for fcandalous Reports
hurt a good Womans Reputation, tho' ibe do
not deferve them-, as well as wound a wicki
Womans Confcience, that does.
to
W(
ivit
:t(
^0
to
ff THETHIRD
at!
DISCOURSE.
uOf young'MiQns great follyy in ado^
ring, and over-paijing all young
J)[ handfome Ladies ; and their grea-
ter folly in receiving it^ and be-
lieving them.
IS not more natural for heat to
attend Fire, nor more common for
the Sun to exhale vapours from the
Earthy than 'tis for great Beamy to
'®ittra6t high Prailes from young Men ; and
"'' J ruly fuch of them, as have wit to fparCjtime
2'0 lole, favour to hope for, and no other
,\ijVorld to think of, arefitteftto Court their
j^(r3eauhy in this,which is but modifla breeding,
jiniind fuitable to moft mens praUice and'all
iflfeiandlbm Ladies expectation, I do not fay
l»;j^nerit.
^ And filch Men as are pretenders to raillytng
^ 'vit, and French breeding, may fhew both, by
ntertaining them with CourtlyHarangs, all
et out with high'Prailes, and great Comple-
hcnts, (which few Men fpeak as their belief,
ut moft Ladies receive as their defert,) and
A with
withfach Xdolizin^ f ofiuresyznd Yiying expref-
onsy as if they defignM their fellow Creatures
to be perfeQ:Gt;<s(<^f]/er, who were made likeA^e-
buchAdnezzur^s golden Image, only robe wor-
fliipped ; fo naturally agreeable are fuch ftnful
adorations to vainL^^I/e/, as the firft temptation
we read of in Scripture that ever prevailed on
lVoma»,was that of being made like toGod, and
that Woman then comprizM in her felf, the
whole [pedes of Women kind ; and indeed 'tis
very probable, that her afpiring prefumption
then to more knowledge than (he ought,does
llill punifli moft of her Sex with lefs Wifdom
than they need.
Really ifLadies had but that fhare
of Prudence which they ought to have as good
ChrijlianSy and to ufe in the pradfical part of
Chriftianity, to which all V/omen are called,
(though few ftrive to be chofen) they would
never endure, much lefs countenance, fuch
youn^Men toCourt and magnifie them at fuch
an extravagant rate^ as to prefent them with
that Compoficion of Vraifes^ meerly for vain
paJlimefiT what'sworfe,evil ends.which OUght|
to be attributed io divine Worfhip only ; nor
can there be a more clear and plainer Argu-
menc to prove Womens want of wifdom,then
that many of them will receive fuch profane
Praifesj not as the vain EffeHs of young Mens
wicked folly^ but as the deferved Trophies of
their own conquering beauty and merit. Alii
ihall
and D I S COURSES. 3
e/ fliall fay is, that fuch courtly Inccnfe, fuics
ires well with fuch a vain falfe Deity, and that
h fuch youn^ Women are as foolilhly guilty in
/0(. receiving mch Vain Attributes, as fuch young
nft Men are highly profane in offering them:
lioi Thus Men by the deceitful reflexes of
do high praifes, divert young Women from re-
1,1D raemhring their Creator in the day% of their
\ il Touth, and poflibly all the time of their Life, by
id'i Charming them with their own Charms, and
piu difguifing themfelves, to themfelves; and by
,(!k telling them fo often what they are not, makes
ifi'i them forget what theyreally are; and by thefe
means they advance their minds fo far
td; above any difmal thoughts of their own
isj mortality, that truly few of lour young cry'd
pi up beauties now adays, fcarce hears any
q; thing of but what they are Romantkly
told their own killing beauty does occafion,
J i though in truth, if we read the Weekly Bills of
ijii; Mortality^ we fhall find that the effecRs of An-
pr kill many more, than the pajfon of Love;
Men being often Angry with many Men at
lu; once, but never in Love with more than one
L.j. Woman at a time, and that one it felf, is too
ll>, many by one.
But my defign being riot to Court the young
Ladies with high Complements, but to ferve
them with great reality,! muft affure them that
thefe high praifes, the more they are truftcd,
the more they'll betray, and the more you
A 2 Ladiek
if
4 C H R ACT £ R S
Ladies confide in their worth,the more you'll
bedeceiv'd in their value ;fo that it follows
by the plain Rule of common reafon, that fo
much as you deduct of Mens overpraifes, fo
much you lefTen of your own felf deceivings.
Indeed thcfe poyfoned Darts of praifes, have
got fucha predominant power over moflyoung
handfom Women, (and the mofl handfom,are
moft fubje6t to them,) that mofl of them are
in danger of being wounded by them, becaufe
the peril of flattery flili mounts with the de-
grces of heauty, as the Suns heat Rill increafcs
proportionable as it rifes.
Flattery and vain-glorious praifes are both
infmuating Devils^ two Twins begot by the
father of Lies, and thefe not only attempt all,
but polTefs moft vain handfom Ladies'-, and
therefore they ought above all, to be very
ftrift, and diligently adiive, to lliiin fuch tempt-
ing difcourfe, and avoid fuch dangerous Com-
pany, or atleaft when with them, to befure
ftill to carry about them S.James his good di-
redion and antidote, reflji the Devil, and he will
flie from you.
Really if young Ladies would but take a
fteddy refolution to refift and flight all young
Mens^ vain Courtlhips, and place no fuch high
eflimation on their oton heautywould eafll)
do the like on mens praifes, and by this means
young Gallants would flacken in their Court-
proportionable to the young Ladies cool-
ing
and D 1 5 C O tJ R S E S.
ing in their receptions of it, and fo make
Mcndefpife Womens beauty, fuitable to their
flighting Mens Love, and thus Womens pru-
dence, would become Mens wifdom, for in real
truth, 'tis hope of gain makes love Merchants
as well as others 5 none .watch Bees but for
their Hony, and few Court fair Ladies but
fof fome hopes of a return; and therefore you
never hear of any of the young Sparks that
plant their Love Batteries againfl Nunneries,
not becaufe they think the young Women in
M'- them have loo little beauty, but becaufe they
believe they fliall meet there with too great a
itt: refiftance,by the care they take, and ftridfnefs
If they ufe, to prevent Mens making any Ad-
® drefles and near approaches to them; for as
b. Mr. Ccroley fays, a well govern d heart, like rich
k China, admits Aff-w only to the Frontier parts
tliti! for a ftridt vertuc fets certain bounds to young
handfom Womens carriage and behaviour to-
ok wards Men, which they are not to exceed ; as
the Almighty gave to the Sea, fo far you fliall
dt go, and no farther.
And though I know there's nofuch thing
ilts now adays in pradice among our young Men,
jlii: as Angel Love^ which u the pure Commerce of the
'ytii; Souls, yet I believe Venue Love does not rage
lui;; fo very much, nor is its infeftion fo very
flrong and rife, as Cenjurers would fain have
it, making our Age mucht>Porfet\\2Ln'iis,\v\\zn
God knows 'tis but too bad, at beft; as if the
A 3 youth
A C T E R S
—'
youth ot both Sexes were now fo corrupt, as
that a young Gentlefnan cannot vifit a young
Lady, nor a young Lady receive vifits from a
youngGentleman,without imputation offcan-
dal, or the cenl'ure of ill and vicious dcfigns
on both fides ; rho I verily fomeyomg
( I do not fay all, nor yet many) love
company, and fFipwew Mens, on no
other account than for their great wit, good
humor, and agreeable Converfation, without
any farther ends.
And now I am beginning to enter into that
part of this which principally ad-
dre£es it felf to the handfom young Maiden
Ladies, and chiefly among them, to fuch as
are innocently and modeflly bred, for fuch
fort of young Women often entertain difcourfes,
and make acc[uaintances with young Men,
without the leafl thought of love, or defign
of ill, many of them looking civilly, and talk-
ing freely to them, on no other account, than
to fhew and exercife their wit, and that may
be more to pleafe their own fancy, than on
defign to take that of others; but yet I mufl
advife fuch young Women ro confidcr, that
meer civil looks often tempt, and rejufals may
be given after fuch a manner^ as may rather
embolden one to ask more, than to beg pardon
for having asked too much; for as one well
obferves of ftrift vertuous Women, That Man
comes too near to them, that comes to he denied
h
W D 1 S C d TTRS E S
them. Indeed 'cis not very rare now a days,
for civil looks in young Women to breed A-
dulteroHS thoughts in young Men, for the
Gofpel tells us that there is an Adultery of the
Eye, and I am fure we ought all to remember
with grief of mind, that ailbon as the Serpent
had perfwaded that the forbidden fruit was
pleafant to the Eye, it foon follow'd that it
became delightful to the Tajl; if Mens Vows
of Love, and Oaths of Conftancy, can but
once tempt young Maids appetites to tafle,
'twill foon make them anticipate their fears to
eat.
Therefore Ladies have a care of receiving
Mens praifes and flatteries, and though you
believe your own Vertue never fo flrong, and
yours Lovers Courtfhip never fo innocent, as
poffibly they may be at firfl received by you,
and defign'd by him, only as the effects of pure
civility, and not of any ill intention; yet prai-
fes are fo naturally agreeable to vain handfom
Ladies, as they often unperceiv'd infinuate,
and wind themfelves fo about their hearts, as
to kindle there by degrees Love likings, though
perhaps they do not feel fo much as the leafl
flight atome Love to creep on the fuperficies of
their heart ; Love fometimes like a Tortoife
makes its way, though it does not feem to
fiir,ox. like the hand of a Watch, which though
you cannot perceive to move, yet you may
plainly fee its hourly advances; Love often
A 4 growing
— "v
^ C H 'A R A C i' E R S
growing in young Womens minds, as Difeajes
do in their bodies, without ever giving the
leafl Alarm or Advertifement of itS approach,
till it breaks out into a dangerous fit of Skkr
nefs.
Solomon fays, a foft word Ireaks the Bone,
therefore no wonder if fmooth praifes and com-
plements fhould charm a young Ladies tender
heart; forfure 'tis no wonderful operation in
our times, iot{mdi\freedomi like little Thieves
to open the Doors to great Liherties, and venial
TPantonnefs, to turn to modifhivickednefs.
Therefore let me advife the vain Ladies, not
to deceive themfelves in fancying that they are
more invincible in their Love railleries, in re-
ceiving^rzik^fromyoung Men, than KingSolo-
no/i was with dallying with ftrange Women,
which drew him into the Sin of Idolatry. This
example may ferve as a Caution to young
Ladies, not to relie too much on their own
firength, for many Maids hearts, like Jlrong
Fortrejjes, have been loft by too great a depen-
dency upon their own ftrength, and too mean
an' undervaluing of others attempts againft
them: I ftiall thereforeall youngLadies,
,efpecially Virpns, by no means on any ac-
count, to fuller beauty to lie under the
prejjing temptations of young Mens high praifes,
and conftant Courtfliip which often enflamcs
them beyond their own natural temper and
ftrength j for conrinual blowing, is able to kin-
" ' ' dk
W D i S O o U R :s E S.
lift): die in time, a great Fire out of a little Spark:
njii And alfo young handfom IVomen ought to
piot avoid giving or receiving any favourable attra-
jfl; dfing looks from young ; for the is
as well the Pulfe of the Mind, as the Door of
til the Heart, and no Lo\e flames can enter into
mia the heart, but it muft firft enter the Eye, as
sti we fee the Sun it felf, ftill fends his light, be-
ritio; fore he brings his beat,
k. Next Ladies remember that the Scripture
couples with the lufl- of the Eye, the pride of
fs, Life, as a leffon to teach you, that you ought as
4; much to well order your looks, as to regulate
ttlp your i/w which you may perform much the
eafier and better, ifyou willbutferioufly rcfledt
on the ways and means you»g Gallantj ufe in
^ir making their approaches towards gaining their
- Miflrijfes-, (I do not here intend as to the ma-
[5 yj king them Miflriffes in order to being Wiues but
Miffes) which is ufually after this kind of man-
per; firft they prefent them with fvparms oi
Praifes and Complements,thick garniihed with
great Oaths and repeated Fows, of a never dying
love, and a nesszt failing conflancy, and all attend-
ed with fad/W'j, deep fighs, and humble po"
flures; ( no matter though there be not one
grain of reality among them all,) and if thefe
Counterfits can but work fo powerful an Ope-
ration on their Miftrifles foft good nature,as to
make them receive the conftant repeated
Oaths of their highly adoring them, with
fome
f^f lo C H A R A C T E rT
fome kind of delight; they are then in a fad
yielding condition; for fuch Womens hearts
cannot pretend to be ftronger than fortified
Towns, which when they once come to admit
of frequent parlies, feldom hold out after long
Sieges, but yeild to a Surrender.
Certainly if young Gallants can by their
eager courting their Miftrifles, but gain of them
fome returns of compaflion and efteem, next
ofcourfc follows a favourable liking of them,
and then there's no very great difficulty, after
fuch profperousadvances,to create in them the
beginningsof a Love fondnefs; and fondnefs in
"Siyoung Womans heart, like a weighty lody down
a fteep Hill, it feldom flops till it runs to the
^very hotiom ; and when a Gallant has work'd
his Miflris into fuch a yielding temper, as to
credit his Oaths, and be pleas'd with his Com-
pany^ as believing he truly loves her, and
highly admires her, and fo grows delighted
with ihelRepetitionolthem, efteeming all his
Courtfhip real, then furely they cannot on the
account of good Nature, and pure Civility,
forbear prefenting their Gallants, though to
their own ruin, tbu new Ankle of their Faith,
that they believe their Oatkes, and love their
Perfcns, and when once they declare that,
common experience may foon teach them this,
that 'tis no great rarity in young Maids by li-
king of young Men, to flray into vicious ad-
ings with them; and thus by thefe kinds of
degrees
and DI^TTo U R S E S. ii
^degrees and fteps, Gallants commonly mount
to their Mijlrijfes ruin; for as the Poet fays,
''fe Long waiting Love doth fiill a paffage find, to
k the mofl unbelieving tnind, at leaft to theblaft-
ing her Reputation, if not the utter undoing
of her vertue, fortune, and freedom ; for when
i once a Gallant is become Majler of his Miflrijfes
t heart, he commonly fwells to ai!'Jf(?;^/^r,and go-
iK vernslike a Tyrant^and inftead of treating you
Hike an ador'd Mijlrk, he ufes you like a con-
,r quer'd Captive.
I Now I have told the young Ladies fome of
the common ways their Gallants ufe to gain
B them by, give me leave here in a word
n: or two, to tell you their ufual manner
M: of treating them, after they have gain'd
s an entire Conqueft over their hearts, which
s(i is very bad, and finful in then to fuffer.
f,, Theretore, let me ad vife you to carry Rill this
Memorandum about you. That all your Gal-
L; lants dying exprefitons, Love-Oaths, Idolizing
c: pofiures, and often repeated Vows, that their
9 admiration, and love for you, lhall be as laft-
; ing as their Lives, which tranflated out of the
f; Lovers Language into true plain Englifij, is no
j more but juft as long as they fhall fancy your
i Beauty ; for ufually as faft as their Mifir/jjes
r beauty breaks, fo do their Oaths of Love, and
I ConRancy, which they think they are bound
;; to keep no longer, than their Miftrifies keep
/, their beauty, as being but the meer effeth of
t that
Z__
IX C H A Pv 'A C T £ R S
that caufe, and the caufe being remoud^ the
effet'l muft of courje ceaje, and befides there's
nothing more certain than^that skin deep beau-
ty, feldom creates better than meet fenfual
love, which never contains reality, or long
duration.
But Ladies if this were all it would not be
fo very bad, or indeed this is only the leall
part of it, and when your Gallant has enjoy'd
you, methinks you ought not to wonder
that he honours you no longer as his Mijlris,
when you difhonour your felf by becoming
hisM/^; for fancy what you pleafe, an en-
joy'd Mifiris is no better, let her Quality be
never fo good, and her beauty never fo great,
and there's no Woman ought to think it
flrange, that her Gallant after enjoyment, un-
dcrvalues her, when by it, Ihe Ihevvs him the
way, by fiirft undervaluing her felf, and fo
ought to exped little Love, and lefs Court-
fiiip, but rather much flighting, if not aver-
fion; for this is moll certain. Ladies, that
though yotir Gallants ufe all flattering means
and arts, not fparing their Oaths or Money,
Sotil or furfe, to purchafe your good Nature,
(I Ihouid have faid finful folly,) to blefs them,
as they call it, with the enjoyment of you,
("that is, to curfe your felves by admitting it,)
which when your Gallants have obtain'd on
any terms. Swearing and for/wearing not ex-
cepted they prefently like greedy Hawks, who
aflbon
and S E S. TJ
(l,:aflbon as they have fully gorgW themfelveson
tliftheir Huarry^ flight and turn Tail to the vc-
^lK,ry fame Game, which jufl: before they flew
fftfo eagerly after, and grow foon as weary of an
Oil;enjoy'd Miftris^ as moft eUefl Sons are of
their long/ixiV Fathers, or their mo-
lull nied Wives; in a word, our Amorous Age is fo
Ik; very wicked and unchafl:,that really mofl; of
i{« our young Mens fiery Love to the thing call'd.
ifK a Miftru, is by our prcfent mode become of the
i]J fame nature of Fire it felf, which all know can-
KtofUot fubfifl: long if not often rccnuited with
.!. frefli matter.
1
ijj,], And I have yet, Ladies, fomething more to
'ji,^ add, which is of a much worfe confequence
^ than all before, which is this, that after your
Gallants have enjoy'd you, though never fo
.|jj. much in private, they will not be fatisfied
jj unlefs theymay boaftofit in Fuhlick, fo vain
are our young Sparks, sls to take morefatisfa-
luj, £l:ion in the thoughts that others believe they
enjoy their Mifirijfes, than they themfelves
do in the adual enjoyment of them ; our
young Men retaining ftill fo much of the old
Roman pride, as to love the Triumph more than
the Conquefl, and indeed I am of opinion, that
on the bragging account of enjoying Mijlrijfes
now fo much in falhion among the late Debau-
chees ; thofe Men that boaft they do, though
they do it not, are not fo bad, as thofe that
boaft of it info vain-glorious a manner as to
ad a real Sin. Then
C T~Eni" s
Then the young Gallant can tell their en-
joy'd Mijiri^es^ that meer love of beauty is
but a meer amorous defire, and that none but
fools defire what they polTefs, poflelTion being
the full end and accompliftiment of all defire,
and confequcntly of all beauty Love, and fo
laugh at the fimplicity of thofe that will en-
dure long the fcorching flames of a violent
Love paliion, fancying none but the foolilh
barbarous Perfians can long adore that Sun
which burns thetp.
And out young Gallants are now generally
grown fo very nice, that they cannot feed on
any thing, but fweet variety, which makes
them rant in the He^oring Language of the
Times, and fay that 'tis as mmodijh to have but
one Mijlris, as to have none at all, and there*
fore Swear that Mijlrijfes enjoy'd though
nevec fo young and beautiful, are but like Ro-
mances read, and Plays once feen; and indeed
methinks enjoy'd Mfflrijfes^ ought not to won-
der at their Gallants ficklenefs, it being not at
all flrange that an unvertuous Love Ihould
make an inconftant Lover.
And now I muft beg leave to glance my
difcourfe a little on a Fault, which fome young
Ladies commit. Without ever confidering 'tis
one, which is fometimes to exercife their wit,
lliew their pride, and vanity, or gaity of hu-
mor, or what elfe you pleafc to call it, to make
themfclves fport and entertainment, fpread
abroad
abroad their finefilken nets of inticing arts, and
® attradling allurements, to incourage and invite
fome young Fopf to become fond of one of their
Company, as his dearly beloved^ and highly
admir'd Mijirk, only that they may have
^ thereby, the better means and occafion to rail-
ly, and make paflime with him, never
*;■ confidering that by making him thus to
d® fall in love with one of them, he is obliged by
the general Rules, and common praBices of our
Modern refind Lovers, to magnify and ex-
^ toll her beauty; and never to be fparing of
tc his Oaths and Lies, in praifing her perfe-
1 * ftions, and his own overflowing paffion and fo
caufe him to fin in earneft, though probably
defign'd by the Lady zs a Jeft; but 'twill be
»lii no fufficient excufe in this bad kind of raillery,
Ib to fay your intention was innocent, fince its
its efledt is culpable, for we are not to doill, that
ail good may come of it; and fure much lef^ to do ill,
(ici where no good can come ofit^ arfd I am fure this
0 is an undeniable truth. That fhc who makes
another do an ill thing, does an ill thing her
felf, by her making another to do it.
IfflC Therefore Ldtrf'/a, whether in Jeft or Ear
Ki neft, if you are truly vertuous, and defire re-
bi ally to continue fo, and that the world lliould
[In cfteem you fuch, as defigning to admit men
tfj only to admire your Perfons but never to
,id ruin your vertue; the beft waytoefFeft it is
, l! never to let them Court your beauty; for re-
jl; mem
C H A R A cm R S
til
member chat the Fire of Love is like that' of
Anger, a jhort^ hut fierce rnadnefi,\ for a Man
that's in Love, during the ragingof his
enflam'd luftful paflion, talks light and idly,
for a Lovers heart rifes and falls, is happy and
unhappy, according as his Mifiris is kind or
unkind, it being indeed but very fuitable to
the folly of being in Love, that fuch a Lovers
heart, fhould never move according to the dh
hlates of his own reafon, but the vain motions
of his Mijiriffes fickle fancy and therefore
becaufe fuch Men know not what the do,
their Miflrijfes ought not to mind what they
fay, nor admit their Addrefies, though they
pretend them in jefh, or for meer paftime, I
and not to kindle their hopes, when they
mean never to feed their defires, but avoid
converfing with them, and entertaining of
them; for furely all perfons ought to avoid mad
Bedlam acquaintances, and young Men during
their diftradeJ Love paffion, value not whac
Praifes they prefenc, what Offers they make,
nor indeed what price they give, to purchafe
the enjoyment of their dear Miflrijfes, though
it be at the damnable rate of long continued
Idolatry, and often repeated Perjury.
O ftrange and wicked madnefs, that thefe
kind of Lovers. cannot be concent to give
their Mijlrijfes their heart for a little time,
without giving their Souls to the Devil for
ever, and fancy be is as very obliging as
they
E S. 17
It they are foolifli, and inconftant, and
U that the Devil will as eafily forget the
It Oaths they made to him, as they do theirs
1; they made to their Mijlrijfest which were in-
ij; tended hut as meer Courtiers Compleme»tSi\Nh\c\i
K are meant no longer than they are fpeaking,
lis and therefore ought to be thought on no Ion-
If;get than they are hearing; but though fuch
ill; Lovers fancy they give their Souls to the
E Devil but in jejl, yet he will be careful to keep
];> them in earnefl^ for if they will commit the fm
t of making fuch Oaths, let them have a care
)jt; the Devil be not permitted to make them en-
o|.dure the Hellilh Penance of keeping them,
p God will not be mocked.
I have enlarged this Difcourfc on the fol-
jr Jy of Mens overpraifing and Courting Wo-
men, with great Confidence, becaufe I fancy
with much Experience, though I am fure with
little Prudence, for I confefs fuch experience was
bought too dear,yet I have thisfatisfaction, that
,^jthe fault of committing a vice, do's not con-
in the confeflion of it, but in thcyeilding
i^to it, and therefore I own I have ferved much
more than a thrice feven years Prenticejhip in
the Trade of Love, and its fooliih appendant
'^^.Train of Fopperies, which was confe^) a
great fault againfl the well fpending of my
jjtime, which might have been much better
employ'd in the duties of Religion, than in the
j,J, pafl;imes and vain company of modilh Wo-
' B meny
^
men ; but 1 have nowfcrv'd out my Time, in
that foolifli Trade, and am become a perfeft
freeman, as to that folly of Courting allmodifli
Ladies; not that I am at all grown a Woman ha-
ter, or a precifef or fuch a true Difciple of
foh, as to make a Covenant with mine Eyes, not
to behold a handfom Woman, for I ifhaliflill
own, I look upon all beautiful Women, locomQ
neareff of all Creatures in brightnefs_ and
fplendor to the glorious Angels^ and am very
much pleafed, when I can pafs away an hour or
two in an afternoon, among fuch of them as
are not irreligious, but of a vertuous reputa-
tion, and are good Wits, free humor'd, and of
pleafant Converfe, for 'tis not keeping com-
pany with, but paying an adoration to, Ladies
beauty, that makes the crime finful; as *tis^not
making Images to adorn Churches', but building
Churches to worfliip Images, that makes the
Idolatry.
And fince Recreation for the mind is as well
neccflary as Bxercife for the body, I fee no
reafon why it may not be lawful for me to re-
create my felf.now and then in an afternoon,in
fuch good young Womens company and con-
verfation, to hear their opinions, and dilcour-
fes, (which the rude fort of Men call Tvoat-
lings') on the Stories of the place, and their
feveral fancies and judgments on the divers
Fa/hions then worn; \v ho are the Women molt
talk'd of, for whom, and beauties sltc high-
eft
and D I S <j 0 I; R S E S, ip
,15 eft cried up, and which of them loves moft,and
fcl carries on an Intrigue beft, lives higheft, wears
<li the rtchefl Clothes, keeps the finefi Equipage,znd
ii[i has moft Gallants, and this Gentlewoman is to
pltt be Married to that Gentleman, who in a little
1,5 time will find her Debts much greater than
II her Beauty or Tortion either, and fuch a pretty
ltd Maid is to be Married by a Match of her Pa-
11 rents making to fuch a one, in whom flie will
jK be very unhappy, her heart being prepoflefled
^ by another, and fuch an old Man is jealous
litir of hisyoung iVife without a Caufe, and fuch a
^young Man is not jealous of his handfom Wife
jjI with one, and the like Suhjebls,\^\-\\d\ I grant
i,jj in fevere ftriffnefs, may be truly call'd an omif-
•]j. fion, in not fpending our time fo well as we
'[j, ought, which I look upon to be more a venial
^ vice, than an unpardonable fin, and therefore do
not believe that the knowledge of my infirmity,
ought to be the defpair of my Recovery; but I
j^.am truly pleas'd that all unlawful defigns,
j^and unchaft defires as to Women, arebanifhed
^ J from my heart, and that Vertue has made me
quite leave them, before Age has made them
quite leave me.
Ijj But 'tis more than time to finilh this Dif-
lj|,courfe, for I have dwelt longer on it than I in-
^ijtended, but the trouble of it, I hope the La-
^^dies will the more eafily pardon, fincc 'tis
'^^jnotonly a fault, but a habit, that I have been
\much fubjcft to, and long infefted with,
ao
C T ffi'k S
which is to be loth to part with jouf/gfVbweas
Company, when lam once got into it, and
therefore I will conclude this D/fcourfe, with
this Complement to the Ladies, that I hear-
tily Willi it rnay prove as fatisfadory and ad-
vantagious to them, as to make them all now
as fond of piety, as I was once of beauty, and
that they may continue to love it, as many
years as I did them, and then I dare allure
them this double blelTing, That they ihall nei-
ther live ill, nor die young.
THE
«tl!
lao;
Wt THEFOURTH
b
t DISCOURSE,
imi:
Of the extraordinary governing Vorpef
that Womens Beauty norp exercifes
over mop: Mf«.
BLefs me md deliver me [ What a ftrange
Subjed do I now fall on, and into what
a vaft Sea am I now Imbarking ! The Bay of
Biskay with all its proud fwelling waves, is
but as a calm pond to it; for that only tof^
fes Ships into the Air, and prelently brings
them down again; but thisSubjefi elevates
^tmy Pen above the Skie, and there leaves it;
for Womens governing Potve/, has no certain
Top nor Bottom, but Circle like, is without
beginning or end : How can it poffibly be
then delcrib'd, it being a meer Maze of dif*
-^ficulties, and a Labyrinth of Confufions,
in which it has made lb many crols
Paths of pride and folly, vanity and
power, as I know not which to take, or
which to leave, where to advance, or how
to retreat : And yet I find in my felf an
B J earneft
22
/ C H A R ^ CT "^''R S
• -
earneft inclination to venture on it, though
I anjfure to be loft in it; for I muftexpeO" F
that this dull and fliort on the vo-
' i luminous SubjeQ: of beauties mighty forver, ^
■ can have no other fate than that of Rivers^
y I which ftill run with an eager, hafte, though ""
j it be only to plunge themlelves into the Sea^
i in which they are prelently loft.
' Storj/ tells us of fome E»gli/h trigats that J')
{aWA up to Con (I ant inople^ and were there fo
! generally admir'd, that the great Turk him-
I ielf went to fee them, and was very much
taken with their beauty,(hape and ftrength ;
and being told there were hundreds finer
in England, he commanded that the Map
i of the World fliould be prelently brought
t him, that he might fee that brave KJng-
, I dom , which produced fuch gallant effeds;
I, the Map being come , he laid his finger
carelefly on it, and ask'd whereabouts Eng-
land was, but the peilbn that was tofhew
I it him, told him he could not do it, till he
took off his finger, for it quite covered that
Kingdom.
Thus one Inch of the Worlds Map lerves tc
/ fet out all Englands Confines, but a hundred
fheets of Paper cannot half delcribe the ex
tracrdinary bounds offFl?/»?»r ulur ping piJirer;
! If Hook up towards the height of it, I am con
I founded at the fight of fb bright and clear a
Scene of meer fanciful Splendor, and if I lool;
dov
no
n
nil
fh
its
tea
ni)
fin
pei
cot
it,
anc
J
fee
1
S E S. 25
downwards on it, I meet in my Compajs,
^ jCrowds of Adorers and Suitors thick proftrate
at their feet, fome courting their great heau-
ty, others admiring their high povoer^ fome
begging their favour, but moft bribing their
mj:
. ^ But though their beauty cannot at all elazle
my fight, yet this Subjcdt do's indeed puzzle
(J,! my Pen, for really 1 am fo far from knowing
how to end this Difcourfe, as I profefs I know
jlij not yet where to begin it, and indeed when I
have writ all I can on it, I fancy I can make
I no other than this whole [ale judgment of it.
That beauties univerfal governing dower is of'a
miraculous nature like that of the Ebbing and
Flowing of the Sea, every body may daily fee
its ftrange cffcdrs, but none can give a good
reafon for the true caufe; therefore I am lure
my weaknefs ought not to attempt, what- the
ftrength of wit, and Philofophy could never
perform.
So that I am refolv'd to venture on this Subr
je61:, but as little Boys do on a great River,
" ' not hazard far on it, for fear of being loft in
. it, but content themfelves with wading a little
on the Brink of it, and there to dable and
wafh them, out of the reach of its great depth,
and fierce ftream.
And though I know that the caufe of Mens
fo enflaving themfelves to handfom Womens
^.fii cannot fpring but from a mean flavifla
- B 4 nature.
le.'.
bii
li
isE?;
lUlib
C H A 11 A U i t R S
nature, and lo ought not to be look'd upon
better by any confidcring Men, than a kind of
Kingdom in the Moo» or Fairy Land^ only
hatch'd by the fiery amorous Love, of a high,
luftful, and cnflam'd diftemper'd pafiion;
feated in the vain Aiery Regiorj^ of meer foolifli
imagination, being not grounded on any foun-
dation of true reafonor good confideration.
Yet I cannot imitate the Map makers^ who
flill leave a blank for their Terra Incognita, but
I mufi: fill up my Paper, and rather than not
write more of it, I will leave of fcratching my
head, and breaking my brain any longer about
it, to find out how, and where to begin this
dcfperate Subjedt, it being like a Coal all over
red hot, there's no touching it in any parr,
without one finger, 'tis likQ^ Hedge-
Hogg all over prickles, lo that 'twill be almoft
as hard a task for me to know how to hit upon
a fafe good way to begin this Difcourfe, as to
find afure means to put an end to Womens
governing power. But fince I muft begin, I
will as all Builders do, never mind to have the
firft foundation Rone cut into any fhape ; fo I
aril refolv'd to lay my firft entrance into this
Difcourfe, on the Courtlhips, and power of the
Welch Ladies, for there I fancy the Men take
no pains, nor ufe any arts to fquare or polilh
their Addrefies 5 but only take what comes
uppermofi:, as they arife out of pure Natures
Quarry,
An4
and D \ S'-C O tr |{ S E S. 25"
¥ And truly I am of opinion that according
to the Rules of fober reafon, and naked truth,
ocii the IVelch ought to be efteem'd the more for
f it, fince as 'tis a general approv'd Rule, that
lion of evils we ought ftill to choofe the leafl; fo
fure by the fame rule of proportion, we ought
i® of troubles to choofe the Ihorteil, which being
granted, we muft neceflarily come to own,
i)': that the Welch Courtlhip, and manner of ma-
king Love, muft needs furpafs our great Ma-
ffl: fters of that Trade thQFrench; for the Welch
* are all plain honeft dealing Men, and good
tn!*! kind friends, who are well acquainted with
^jiii one anothers humors; and therefore efteem
al( it fuperfluous to make many words to a Bar-
i»||i gain, which makes them railly both the En-
afli! glijh and the French, who they fay dare not
kii: approach their Mtjlrijfes but with humble
ibiii looks, and obedient poftures, fpeaking as So-
\k^i'lor>wn lays, Prov. 6. 13, With their feet^ ly
ffd making fo many Legs before they come to them,
Ite and thofe with as much exaftnefs, as Poets
make Verfes, where every fyllable muft be
lapci; weigh'd, that they may keep juft Meafures,
.go: and xxxse. Cadence, as well in their approaches
as addrelTes; Nor dare they fpeak to them but
with large Harangues of Praifes, ftill befieging
their Miftriftes with Armies of Complements,
in -admiration of their beauty and perfeftions,
and moft of thefe fierce great Lovers, (I had
almoft faid worfe) differ and excel one ano-
I thetj
C H A il A C T k S
ther, in their manner of Addrefles, means of
Approaches, expences in Prefencs, degrees of
Courtfliip, and ways of Treating and the like;
whereas the plain dealing honeft Welch-men,
are moft of an equal kind of breeding and
birth, being all Gentlemen of Wales, and
moll of them high horn, which is a truth, all
that have Travell'd thorow their Country
will eafily believe, fmce really in one fenfe, I
few of them can be other, confidering the
many elevated Mountains their Country is
made up with, and yet I often obferv'd in my
Travelling through it, that the Men of that
Country, are generally of a very plain breed,
ing, an4 much of a level Capacity, for though
Wales is highly feated, yet 'tis but of a fhort
extent, which occafions the whole Country to
lie under the fame degree of Elevation,
And as the Welch Gentry have for the moft
part an averfion to the Roman Doftrin, fo
they have no fancy for Romance Courtlhip,
few fludying the one, and fewer praftifing
the other, and yet for all they are both great
Fertuofos, and expert Soldiers in the Art of
expeditioufly managing a Fenu^War, andean
fooner takebyftorm the Fort of their Welch
Mijlrijfes heart, than the Englijh or French
can ftnifh their Approaches to gain fo much
as the outworks of their Mijlrijfes civil and
favourable Looks.
But
and D i S€ O TJ iC S E S. 27
" But I am ftray'd from my Themes and there-
fore I'll conclude my Welch Travels^ and In-
' terloping Difcourfes of Wales^ leaving the
* Welch Cavaliers to the power of their own
^ Country Mijirijfes.
, ^ And take notice how we are now in England
fhrunk into fuch a Brood of unmafculine Petti-
" coatMzi^ that are fuch adorers of their Miftrif-
fes beauty, as they cannot behold them but
through the» magnifying Profpe^ive of their
!"/ own enflam'd luftful paflion,and amorous folly,
which renders their Mijirijfes beauty fo large
and Cltarming, and their Power fo high and
Mighty, that like thepojfejfedman in the Gofpel^
™ they will run thorow fire and water, in their
Love fit^ and to feed their momentary flames,
will venture thofe of everlafling Burning.
'' This wretched fort of Slaves to Womens
Power, who in their Courtlhip and Addrefles
to gain their Mijirijfes hearts, do fo defpe-
^ ratly hazard the lofs of their own Souls, by
offending God in their words and actions, re-
femble exadly thofe People of Jernfalem and
isA'' Judah, which the Prophet Ifaiah cap. 3. v. 8.
fpcaks of, They arc fallen down hecauje their
^ Tongue and doings are againji the Lord, provok-
)t ing the Eyes of his Glory.
fo If And now the Prophet has told you their
dri' fault, he will alfo tell you their punilliment.
The Lord ofHofl will take from them the Judg
and the Prophet^ the Prudent and the Ancient,
1 and
' ^ C H A R A C T E R S
will give Children to he their Princes, and
Bahes to be their Governors; and pray what
is the confequence of this noble Infant Govern-
went ? why the Prophet tells you, Verf. 5. And
the People jhall he oppreffed one hy another,
every one hy his Ideighour, the Child Jhall he-
have himfelf proudly againjl the Ancient^ and
tlte hafe againfl the honourable, &c.
And as 'tis a practical Art mOratory to keep
the beft Arguments to bring up the Rear of
the Difcourfe to leave the ftrongeft Impreffi-
on at the laft, fo Qod is pleafed to referve for
the laft, the greateft punilbment of all; which
be here threatens by the Prophet when he
tells men, verfeli. And Women/hall rule over
them- Really 'tis a fign the Peoples ftay and
(Itcngth are gone, and their prudence out of
Power, when Women are placed to Rule over
them, from whence without the help of Phi-
lofophy, I can eafily cxtraft this Ohfervation,
That the Almighty who lure beft knows the a-
bilities of his own Creatures, places Women
in the fame Rank^with Children, thereby plain-
Jy denoting. That a Nurfery kind of Govern-
went fuits beft with Womens Povoer; and this
kind of dodfrin is in fome manner confirmed
byS . Paul, though in a larger Charaiftcr, for he
afcribes to Women as their fit fphere, and pro-
per imployment,ttheg«i<//»g of thehoufe, that
the Women in it.
Thete
W D I S C au R S E S. 29
J,, There is an Author who in his difcourfe of
^\ifVonien very well ohferves, that they have hut
^three States of Life, Virginity, Marriage^and
jffViddowhood; for the firfi two they are, or
il^ought to he, flates of fuhjeBion to Parents, and
^Wl Hushands; and for that of Widdowhood, God
If Jnmfelf counts that ft ate t>f life to he defolate and
fad, the Almighty having defignd them for fuh-
.^jellion and therefore accounts Wotneu mofi mife-
'f^ rahle, when mofi at liherty from Mans Power,
And now furely out of thefe reafons and
jJjjjConfiderations'of his, I may here fafely, be*
^,,|jj,caufe truly, draw this undeniable Argument
jji^!and conclufion.
That it cannot but be very bad for Men to
jjbe under WomensGovernmentj when God
fays 'tis very fad for Women to be under their
"^l^^own.
And fo I have done with the time, when
'twas appointed for Women to govern over
Men 3 next of courfe follows the manner how
'-they Ruled, and that we h^ve an account of
, jjjin few words, in the iz verfe ohh^t Chapter
aforementioned by the Prophet, O my people
the Lord, Thole, {that is the Women) that
. lead ye, caufeyou to err, and deflroy the ways of
''^jhy Paths: Thus we find that error and de-
ftruiRion, arc the effeds ol Womens ruling
^ power, it being contrary to the ways of Truth,
(for it caufeth Error,) and the Laws of Na-
ture, of Reafon, \ cannot fay of common
IK Praaicc!
- " " ' ^ I
Pradicc; and it was here appointed to Wo-
men, not as a favour, but for a punifliment,
as an effeftof Gods wrath againft his People,
it being a Reverfe of the Fundamental Law
which was made by God almoft as foon as the
World, I am fure as early as the firft Man in
it; for Sacred writ tells, that 'twas laid as a
load on the firft Woman for her difobedience
to her Maker, that flie Ihould be fubject to her
Husband, and though to be fo now, is but
the praftice of very few Wives of our Age, yet
that do's not hinder it from bein^ the duty of
all from the beginning of the World.
Therefore let all our high fpirited govern-
i»g Women, who make their filly Husbands,
and foolilh Gallants, fuch flaves to their Toxser^
becaufe admirers of their beauty, remember
what one very well obferv'd. That the day of
the date of Womens Power over Man, was the
day of the date of her fin againfi God: It being
moft clear and plain, that from Adams time,
the Woman oughp to be in fubjedtion to the
Man, and therefore S. Paul faid, / will not
have the Woman ufurp an authority over the
Man, and feems to give the Reafon,for firjl
Adam was made, thenP.\Q.
Seneca wellobfervcsj^Wbying.T'/?^^*? isfome-
thing of meannefi in the mojl feeming gallant and
inviting fin', lam fure there is a great 1
of Spirit in Mens fo fwbje<fting themfelves to
Womens pot0er, fince fuch muft in effeff de-
dare.
and Disco O R S E S. 51
dare, that they have loft not only the Cou-
"■'f rage of Men, but the very Nature of Ge«//e»7e»,
what did I fay, they have loft the Nature of
Gentlemen, nay I might have added,
natural right and reafon of humanity, and de-
ferve to loofe the great honour of being En-
Men, for fuch Petty-Coat Men ought to
be Tranfplanted into the Suburbs of England,
Wales, where the Language of that Country
fits exa£Hy their effeminate humor, who by a
kind of Welch Tar ados, call the Man, hur^ not
he, and indeed hur, fuits betten than he, with
fuch a fort female Gentry, who are compofed
of fuch unmafculine Spirits.
iisbi! Really when I refleft on what Crowds there
lit?" are of this pitiful rank of Men, who take fo
em® great pride and delight, in being conftant
it k adorers, and humble fervants to their Miftrifi
i,M fes beauty, not in railery, but in reality, who
. l[k are as very happy in their own conceit, if their
biE Miftrifles do oblige them with a kind word,
or favourable look, as if the Day Star from
above had come to vifit them, and to lead
them into eternal light, and that all the A-
fpe^s of the Stars had combin'd together, to
be propitious to them.
^0. Yet after all 'tis s very great pity, that
jilliin thefe fort of Miftrifles, do not beftow on thefe
^011 kind of fervants Lace to their Coats, for furc
they are fools enough tp deferve it, and I fee
fjifcl: no reafon why fuch who art fo ambitious of
their
their Ibrvice, Ihould refufe to wear their Li-
veries, and be out of Countenance to be known
Fools by their Coats, when they are not
aftiam'd to dcferve that name by their afti-
ens,
Solomon fays a flothful Man fhall he covered
with rags', and lb indeed ought fuch Men,
who are dull and drowfie in the exercife of
their own power, and over-a£tive in their
obedience to Womens, for which they well
deferve to wear the Colours of their Miflrifles
Soveraignity, and their flavery, on the ragg'd
Fools Coat of their own firaplicity.
Sure all fuch Men as will debafe themfelves
into fuch an effeminate fervitude, as to render
it both eafie and habitual to them, cannot pre-
tend in the leaft to poflefs a noble or gene-
rous fpirit, for that muil be averfe to it, fincc
it makes a Man not ony unfit to ferve his King
and Country, (the duty of every good Subjed,)
but even to be ufeful to himfelf, and family.
Whereas if young Men ftudied nolle Sciencest
inftcad of courting handfom Women, who can
only divert their Time, probably corrupt their
Lives, whereas the pradice of vertue, and the
ftudy of Men and bufinefs, with other ufeful
Sciences, will refine and ftrengthen their
knowledge, fortifie prudence in their adions,
kindle Magnanimity in their hearts, raifeglo-
rious defires in their minds, and fo polifh and
regulate all the weighty adions of their lives,
■ " fo
W D I S G O Wl S E S. 35
Li fo as to render them fit to ferve their Country*
w both in War and Peace, and themfelvcs and
not families to boot, which advantage can never
cL redound on either, by courting and ferving
beauty never fo long, for meer beauty fake:
And I wonder your beauty Courtiers do not
leii obferve, that great beauties feldom efteem,the
0 d long attendance, or great fervices of their Ado"
tte rers as they ought, becaufe they value more
R their own beauty than they fhould, which
rilK makes it common for fuch Women to ruin
3ggi their Lovers liberty, to proclaim their own
Soveraignty over it, and therefore fure it can-
(di! not appear very unreafonable, that fuch Men
KK as will make themfelves Slaves to Womens
otft beauty, fhould pafs for fools in fober Mens
:p thoughts,
.[,ik Indeed there's one Law (and but one Law I
is ft know) which though a French one, yet as
jl)j£ great lovers as our Englijh Ladies are of the
jiiE jprench fafliions 3 they are fo far from efteem-
ing or allowing it, as they will not endufe fb
iliofl much as to hear it nam'd, and that's called the
ipiik Salick Law, which in France prohibits the fe-
jidil male Sex from wearing the Breeches, and
IliK Reigning, which our high fpirited governing
n ik Women in England, fo hate the Name of, as
2tli(c there was a report, they were about calling a
afc Parliament of Women, to vote it high Trea-
lijliijfon,againft the Power of their prefent Govern-
tliltment, to but name bringing that Law into
' C England',
'
34
C H A'K A <_: I k
11
England', but as good fortune would have it,
they could not agree among themfelves about
chufmg a Speaker, for every one would be
one, and knowing where all will fpeak aloud,
none can be heard, they were neceffitated in
Prudence to diflolve that Parliament dc-
fign- P
But truly in my opinion, at the high rate of ^
power Womens now Governs, ih^La- |
dies have no caufe to be concern'd, that the j jj,
Breeches are not given to them by of Parlia- I
ment, fincc it is freely bellowed on them by the
Cujlom of the Country, and Cufiom you know makes
Laws, and thofe as binding as any {tiQ-Atloi
Parliament, fince they are ratified and confirm- ' ^
ed by the Major part of the Lords Spiritual and I
Temporal, as well as the Knights Burgejfes, and
Commons, who by many Signs and Tokens
give great caufe of fear, that they have fub-
mitced, in a perfe£l obedience to beauties So-
veraign power and Wives Government over
their Husbands.
Indeed for the Proteflant Clergy, they muft
be concern'd parties and fellow fuffercrs, in the
general Calamity of having Governing Wives;
lii
'fd
but for xhcRoman they are quite free from
that mifery and fervitude, becaufe they muft
never Marry, fo that they can be no concern'd
parties, as to their own Wives, and therefore
may be aiding and affifling in promoting, and
confirming Wives in their Univerfal Monari
chy|
bj
and 15 I S € O tTR S E S. 3^
" chy oyer their poor Husbands, which they are
briskly fayling towards with a too profperous
^ Gail. But I hope the Fates will protedt poor
p Husbands, from fuch an unnatural, ihameful,
^ ® and Tyrannical kind of Governments for if ever
® all Wives fliould attain to that Supremacy of
Power, Cwhich but too many have already,) .
K' Wives would then make fuch a total deftrudti-
on of all Husbands authority over them, as
the Wives Monarchy would be then as abfolute
'm England^ as that of the French King is now
in France^ and would make then their Hus-
hands as great Fools, as that King do's now his
ordinary Suhjeds Slaves: In iDhort I really fan-
Qok cy, Englijh Wives would be then as very refo-
W'' lure in maintaining their new Franchifes over
f"i' all their Husbands in England, as the Pope is
\k now fteady in deftroying the old Franchifes of
jvel< all Amhaffadors in Rome.
uiisS Then we mull conclude, that Diogenes
lent® his Prophecy is fullfill'd, who order'd him-
felf to be buried with his Face downward,
licp' faying. The World will turn upfide down, and
IS, in- then he fhall lie in his right place. Then we
fliall reckon as the old Germans znd Gauls
by Nights, not Days: Then welliall look on
[ley i all Government, as we read Hebrew, that's
CO# backward. Then that Vcrfe lliall be razed
[lieti: out of the Bible, that fays the Woman is the
[15,1 iveaker Tejfel: Nor fhall S. Pauls inflrudtion to
[jlil# Titus when he left him in Crete, pafs for good,
c C 2 pra-
^
36 C H A R A C I'lE -K S
prailical Do£ltin, l Tim. 12. That young Wo-
men, are to he fohert dtfcreet, and obedient
to their Hiuhands, the Apojlle thereby plainly
implying. That a Wives obedience, is a Wives
difcretion, Then {hall the old Men Jee Vijions,
and the young Men, (efpecially the married)
dream Dreams.
And now I would gladly hear what fort of
anfwer and interpretation, l\\QGoverning-Jpirit
Ladies will make to the Queftion of our blef-
fed Saviour, Can the Servant be greater than
his Lord? For furely Wives affuming power,
cannot render them fo over fenfelefs, as to fancy
he ask'd it as a Queftion of doubt, but fpokc
it as a thing of impolTibility, that a Servant
can be greater than his Lord, any more than
a Son elder than his Father.
And now Women are about impoftibilities,
and vain dreams, methinks they ought to eil-
deavour getting the Philofophersflorie, for that
Would be very convenient to carry about in
their Breeches Pockets, fo that as they have now
got the powerful k»ack, to change Men into
Women, and their poor Husbands Rentals into
Shop-books, fq they may then by thevertueof
the fame Elixir, and the more powerful Charms
of their own killing beauty, turn all Metal into
Cold, as well as too many Wives nowadays
turn their filly Husbands Lands and Woods its-
to rich Gownes, und finp Coaches. Twas tile
faying of 2great Komctssi (who I fancy Married
a kind
^ a kind of an Englifh humor'd Wifej chat the
Womcnsric/;GoH^»jdeftroy'd more Men^ than
all the Enemies Arrows.
And now Reader, I am fure you muft be tir'd
J,J as well as I am of this Subjedt of Womens
Power, the many Men are ijoc of their fubje-
£tion to it, and therefore I will now take leave
of thefe groat beauty adorers, for I cannot as
|. they do, Dream with my Eyes open, nor can
I fpare them fo much ot my patience, as to
wait for the oi their Dreams, my
defign being only to write of, not to dwell on
" this Subjedf, and perhaps I have already not
r only writ more on it than I fhould, but lharper
/ of it than I ought; for confidering how ge-
nerally, as well as powerfully Women now
wear the Breeches, 'tis dangerous provoking
them, efpecially having now in my mind the
^ faying of a great Phikfopher, Thoje that confir
der little (as moR Women do) are apt to he an-'
tgryfoon.
'' And fure if ivife Solomon in his days, when
certainly the Women did not then pretend to
half the power they now ufurp, could prefer
dwelling 'in a Wildernefs, before living with
an angry Woman, how cautious, nay fearful
ought the writers of this fubjedt to be in of-
'^'fending them, when their Anger is as fierce,
'V'as their power is great; and in fome Women,
their paflionate revengeful humor fuitable to
hoth: Therqfpre if the Apoflle thought he
' C3 %a4
: 8 C H A A- e T E R S
J
had good reafon to pray to be deiiver'd from /)
unrcafonablc Men, lure Men may alfo pray to w
be deiiver'd from unreafonable Women. ar
And doubtlefs as it fuits well with all the ; k
meafures of true Reafon, and good Policy, jr
that thole who Command, ought to be wiler (jt
than they who are to obey. And therefore ^tc
Women ought not to ufe a Soveraignty over »
Mens Actions, whilft they arc Subjeds to tue
their own Paflions, and fure none can deny Ge
this Truth, that flie who cannot Rule herfelf, mj,
is very unfit to Govern another. Ica
But 'tis full time for me to begin to relin- m
quidi the argument of this dangerous Subjed, jiili
having fpcnt time enough in daTling my Pen ot
on the brinks of it, for I did not dare venture gif,
farther, for fear I could not get out of it, fo jet
ftrongand fierce, is the flream of female power, Iter
that like an unruly torrent it runs fo violent, eiy
that lam afraid in (lead of making itmybu- iWj
finefs to difwade you againilit; I fancy my ipuj
feciirefl way to defend my felf is by a retreat tie
from it; for I find lean only ad on this Sub-jjijf
jcd, as good Vilots do in great Storms, who 'jey
tho they cannot (hew their power to make the; fje,
winds obey them, yet they may fhcw their cji,
skill, in making the beftufe to have them pro- o?t
fperous. And fo in Soldterjhipy in extremity
of danger, a well made Retreat is as commen Ij,
dable, as a great Vidory obtain'd,and dcfervei
fo be Crown'd with Laurel as well as with the
fro
I
Ho:
' 7Vo/?Z?i«ofagreacConqueft, and that Soldier,
who has only Courage to make a bold Charge,
and wants skill to make a good Retreat, has
li' learn'd but half that belongs to the making of a
V' great Captain: We read xkvM Homer the King
of Poets, praifed Achilles for underftanding the
great Art, of knowing how, and when to run ^
" away conveniently: Adverfity hath her Fet'
tnes, as well as Night has her Stars, and a great
ii; General may ihew his good Conduft, in the
midft of his bad fortune, and ill fuccefs. So
I cannot but hope, that this my attempt in
writing for the moderating Womens over-
t ruling power, was good,tho my fuccefs in ac-
ij: complifhing is but bad, and therefore I will |
a give it over. And as Ships of War, fire Guns i
if: in their Retreat out of their Stern, fo lhall I
(p here in the end of this Difcourfe, difcharge in
my Retreat this farther Confidetation, That f
ii;: Wives over-governing Power runs its Courfe >
act quite contrary to the overflowing dreams of f!
lie the N//w, for that by it produces, great
[Hi: advantage where e'er it goes, without letting
(1,! any know from whence it comes; but all Men,
0 (and in a mod cfpecial manner the Married,)
;j: can tell by woful experience, that Womens f
|,2[: overdowing power, in governing their Hus-
ijjj bands, mud and does produce fad efTeds, and
jjcj fhameful diforder where c're it goes.
|jjf And do but ask one of thefe mean-fpirited j
Husbands, from whence his Wives governing j
C4 powffi 1
40 CHARACTERS
power comes, and he cannot deny, but it flows
from the fame fpring his mean effeminate hu-
mor does, in allowing it,ufurpation; and lam
fure our father Adam, for being rul'd by his
Wife, did juflly receive, as well as truly de-
ferve, Gods wrath, and punifhment for it, and
therefore furely all fuch mean, tame, pittiful
govern'd Husbands, well deferve all fober
Mens contempt and fcorn as the jufl demerit of
fo fliameful a condefcenfion,* which argues ei-
ther their want of wit or manhood. And now
the only hope of Reformation that appears to
me on this particular is, that Solomon tells us,
there's a time for all things, a time to mourn, and
a time to rejoyce; fo that there may be yet a time
hereafter, for Wives to obey, as well as they
have now to command, and when they will
fubmit as they ought to their Husbands Go-
yernmenr, then they will certainly deferve that
praife and refpeft that is due to the honour of
their Sex,and receive the admiration of all Mens
jufl courtfhip and efteem: then may be prefent-
ed on the Stage again, the old-fafliion Play, fo
yery long out of date, fas few Husbands re-
member it was ever Aded,) call'd Rule aWife,
and have a Wife, which indeed very few Huf-
bands dare fay they do, ( I mean before their
Wives,^ and few would bebeliev'dif theyre-
ally did, fo rare and ilrange a thing is this
thing call'd Wife obedience, as many believe
'tis only to be found at John Trede skins, among
his Colledidhsof Antiquities. So
V
ti So that I muft be forc'd to yield that this
111 rare Woman temper of Wife obedience is a
III thing only to be hoped, not expcQied, and
Is therefore I will not vainly ftrive as Xerjcej did,
4 to level Mountains, nor with Ntro^ attempt
ai to alter the Courfe of the Sea ; but inlfead of
as endeavouring fuch impoHibilities, 1 will now
wifely relolve, neither to trouble my (elf, nor
a ruling Wives, to dilTwade them to leflfen their
la governing power, which I am fure, would be
h a Task as hard for me to obtain, as that of
ffi Xerxes or Nero was to perform: Womens go-
tta, verning power, being fo long and deep rooted
m,! an ufurpation,poffe(red by fb many Wives,and
jaj yielded to by fo many Husbands, as long Cu-
jsi ftom has made it a Difeafe in moft Husbands
lej) minds, incident like the infirmities officknefs
noil or age to their bodies, which commonly has
fuch diftempers that attend it, that they are
oje; worthy of all Mens pity, tho' pa ft all Mens
2IIH cure : Therefore I will imitate yourgoodPhy-
fitians, who efteem it unfafe to ftir up thofe
Put humors, they cannot poflibly purge away,
umjl and upon this confideration I fhall now muzle
rny Pen, and found a Retreat, efteeming it
more wife and fafe, to think much, rather
than write more on this extenfive and dange-
pjjt rous Subject.
jisl
I kj
c s THE
^2 H /\ IV A L> 1 i,
■tllf
THE FIFTH Idie
ifo
discourse, i '"
Of the inconfiancy of moft young
Ladies^ efpecially that are crfd up
beauties^ and the folly of any one
that believes he is fully acquainted^
and folely pojfejfed of a vain La^
dies hearty and can give good tea-
fins for the various motions of her
Love-Changes.
I Cannot deny but that young Womens
Company may be very advantageous, as
well as agreeable to young Men, as being ve-
ry ufeful to whet their Wit, to civilizetheir
behaviour, and to polifh their Difcourfes; but
yet they ought ftill to remember, that the
Converlation of thcfe vain young gayLadies,is
to be us-d but like Sawee to Meat, good to
quicken theStomack,but bad to make a Meal
on; being to be taken like ftrong Cordials,not
too much,nor too often,and tharefore to make
their vifits fb moderate, as not to keep longer
in their Company than juft to refrefh and fit
their minds for better employment, and by
thefe
and D 1 S e O U R S E S. 43
thefe means young Men may relifh young La-
dies Converfation with great gufto, and return
to them with a no lefs vcrtuous than agree-
able inclination.
' But inftead of obferving thefe wife meafures,
mofl of our young Gallants, make Courting
* of handfom Women, not only their paftime,
but their bufinefs, fo as to waR all their Time,
and ufe all their endeavors in thepurfuit, and
* attempts of gaining every new handfom face
they fee, and if it be but new, it mufl be hand-
n li fom and taking, if 'twere only for being new,
jj,;; on the modifli account of fweet variety.
, i And truly mofl: of our vain Ladies fall not
!' at all fliort of them in the fame a£t of Incon-
flancy, but are as extravagantly foolifli, and
as little real as they, and therefore if 'twere
ifos poffible to perfwade young Gallants and La-
jjjji dies, but to allow themfelves time ferioufly
to confider this matter, I am apt to think firfl
0 that Men would be alham'd of their folly to
jjjjj rely on the airy, fickle and inconftant humors
jIjji of mofl of our vain modifli Ladies, efpccially
that are the cried up beauties, and thefe our
fickle Ladies no leis blufii (I mean if their
Teeter would give them leave,) at their indi-
fcretion in receiving thofe high praifes, and
believing thofe great Complements, and often
j repeated Oaths, their young Gallants make
them, when in real Truth, thefe Gallants are
j| as much inconftant to their Miftrifies as their
1 Miftrifies
44 CH A'ji. A i k(l!>
Miflrifles can be to them, and their perjured
Vqws of conflancy on both fides, weigh as
little in themfelves, as the breath thatfpeaks
them, which immediatly vanifties into meer
Air, without ever making the leaft return,
their Tongues and Hearts fengfo great ftran-
gers, as there's feldom any correfpondence
between them j fo that 'tis moll certain that
fuch Men may very rationally extradb out of
Womens ficklenefs, this true Conclufion, that
the more they confide, either on Chance, For-
tune, or handfom Womens Conftancy, (which
are all three now a days much alike,) the more
fbUy as well as falfehood they entertain in
their relyancc and depending on them,
§ir John Sucklin was a perfon of great Wit
and Parrs, and not only highly efteem'd of by
the applauded witty Men, but by the hand-
fbm Ladies of his age, and was one who had
made many Philofophical Eflays, on the wa-
Yering nature, and various windings of many
of the Ladies humors, and inclinations, as far
as an extraordinary Wit, a plentiful Fortune,
a liberal Mind, an open Purfe, and a Venus
heart, could carry him; and after having em-
jploy'd all thcfe, with all the care and induftry
imaginable, he found moft young Womens
hearts, fo volatile and inconflant, and to
come fo far fhort of real Truth, as nothing can
he farther, which occafion'd this noble Knight-
to leave behind him in Print, this
and D f S X: O U R S E S. 45
I' friendly Caution, that it might appear as pub-
j lick, as young Womens inconftancy, or yoiing
^ Mens folly, who pretend to a perfefl know-
^ ledge, and fole pofleffion of a young beauties
^ heart; you that propound to your felves propriety
in Loze, know Woment hearts like ft raws do move^
and that which you Mainly think is Sympathy with
yoUf is really hut Love to Jet in general.
V Indeed the moft experienc'd Venus Philofo-
phers, aiid enlightned Infpedtors into the hu-
I mors of moft Womens hearts, and afFedions*
^" are apt to make as grofs over fights, in theit
guefles, and fancies of their making good WiveSj
or true Lovers, as the ableft Seamen do often
', commit miftakes in their fight at Sea, fome-
times taking Land for Cloudsj other times
Clouds for Land,
j; Really the very beft and moft able JMaftefs
of Art, and moft Critical Enquirers with theif
grcateft obfervations, and pretences of know-
ledge as to the Motions of Ladies hearts, can
only make fuch imperfed guefles and fpecu^
I"* latiOns as Aftronomers do of the Operation
of the Stars, which is but by the great j
they can give an account of the general order
liKi. of Providence in their Stations and Motions,
but can give no certain Rule, or true MeafUre
I to difcern their Influences upon particular adi-
ons, or bodies, no more, than they can give a
reafon, (other than Gods Will,) why conftant
[inii • fuccefs attends this Mans undertakings, and a
p •' com
46 C H A P7A C T E R S
continued ill fortune waits on another Mans en-
deavors,or why a wicked curfed Tyrant Ihould
live out his Natural Life profperoufly among
his abufed Vaflals, and our highly excellent,
and truly pious Martyr King Charles the firft,
of ever BlelTed Memory, fhould be barbaroufly
Murder'd by his own free Subjeds; which is a
moft clear and plain Leflbn of inflrudion, not
to Judg the true right of Caufes, by the falle
light of fucceflcs, and therefore fober religious
Men, freely own their ignorance as to the cer-
tain Caufes, of the divers efFe61:s of Gods pro-
vidcnceas to the event of things in this world;
there being fuch an infinity of Caufes that de-
pend on one another, that good and wife
Chriftians efteem it their beft and fafefl: way,
to live in a ftate of Neutrality, as to a pretend-
ing knowledge, of the efFe£ts of Gods provi-
dence in the Iflues either of his Mercies or
Judgments.
And truly if our young Gallants were as
wife as they ought to be, they would alfo live
in aState of Neutrality, as to their Judgment of
the motions of young Ladies fancies, and be
fatisfied with thefe general notions, that their
minds, and inclinations are generally bent to-
wards men, who are young, handfom, rich,
witty, highborn, well bred, and the like; but
how to difcern fpecial Caufes, for particular
Occurrences, and to be able to tell the true
reafons, and give the juft m.eafures, for Wo-
pjcns
and D 1 S -G E S.
^7
scj mens fo often differing and varying in their
on!: LoVc fancies, is I believe beyond the power
W; of Man to Judge; fonie Women efteemingthc
U black before the fair, others the fair before
k the black, in which few agree; or this hand-
out fom Man before t'other, and fometimes an ug-
iis ly Man before them both, Womens likingsto
11 Men, being like their mode of governing, who
Kti tho the power be flill the fame and certain,
ij; yet the manner of it is always changeable and
tit; inconftant.
oi: I fay in all thefe changes or rovings of fan-
cy, the moft knowing, and experienced Lovers,
ifc can make at very beft but impcrfed Gueflbs,
si; almofl as very uncertain as Womens Conflan-
fell cy, or young Mens Love; which indeed is
jjE much of the nature of common Hay and Stub-
ijr ble, which a little fpark lights, and a fmall
time confumes; young Men being more in-
conftant in their addreues, than very beauty
in its duration, moll of our young Gallants
jj| Love, being not able to keep up to the fame
j«: degree of Elevation, as the fhortfpace where-
in their Miftrifles beauty does: In a word, I
llij: think the befl Wit, and moft knowing Lo-
ver, cannot fay better of the nature of Wo-
1^; mens Love, than what S. Aujlin faid of the
nature of the Times, I fancy I know it, when
no lody bids me defer ibe it, but find I am igno-
|j|^; rant of it, when any does.
Truly
48 C H A H ACT E R S
Truly fewot our vain Ladies, guide them-
felves in their Love choices by the clear Light,
and true Rule of Reafon, which occafions their
being fo often mifled by the vain Loveflalhes
of their prefent Airy fancy. And indeed when
a young Mans alluring beauty, (or whatelfe
you pleafe to call it,) attrads a young Wo-
mans fight, and thereby moves her fickle fan-
cy, and inconftant jikings, and fo (lamps a
fierce, but hafly impreflion of Love on her
tender flippery heart, which commonly makes
the newefi; objed, the richefl prize, for indeed
mofl of our modifli Ladies Gallants are to them
like the Falhions, where ufually the laft Com-
mer, is belt lik'd, and mofl us'd.
And the Jefl of it is, that many of thefe
changeable Ladies being fofmitten, are apt to
believe that this their lafl Love is the only true
one, and that all their former Loves were but
a kind of Mufhrom Love, which fprung up in
a Night as Mulhroms do, without any Root;
but that this their prefent Love is built on good
reafon, and true confideration, and therefore
lhall be like the Laws of the Medes and Vet'
fians, unalterable, being fo deeply engraven
in their marble hearts as 'tis never to be alter-
cd or worn out but by death, forgetting all the
Changes they formerly made, and by the fame
Rule of Inconflancy they may hereafter make,i
according to the taking objeds which new con-
verfation may prefjpt, and that 'tis pofTible,
if
and D r Cr U'R S E S. 49
El if not probable, thac their prefent paffion of
jIh Love that is fo newly kindled and fully lighted,
iiEi may in fome farther time be fwallow'd up, and
Ihextinguiflied by a more inviting beauty, thac
bmay prefent more charming and agreeable,
:|and'tis mofl certain thac the Love which pof-
i^ffefles and inflames a young Ladies heart iaft,
itifEclipfes all former fancies, as the Suns appear-
K ance darkens all other Lights, the Sun being
m il to be feen by no other light but his own. Iti
nfhort, mod Womens hearts, and Love vows
jiJfOf Conftancy, are to be read but like flrange
[otProphecies, which are to be undcrflood, not
lO-by their Words, but by their Events.
Indeed mod of our airy Ladies, are fo vola-
jjjtile and fickle in their Amours, as not only
JJJ1 their Eyes, hearts and inclinations, but their
jiljAvhole nature is foaddi6ted to change and va-
jfj^riecy, as one might as eafily fix Mercury, or
i^,.make brickie Glals malleable, as to fix a young
"ivWomans humor, and love-fancy, fo as not
ijjio break out into change and inconftancy, they
Jlujheing more fickle and changable, than the very
^ Wind it felf, for there are Trade Winds that
^^jjplow dill certainly one way all the Year, with-
l^'aut ever altering from the fame Point and
?lace; but ai vain Ladies Condancy, is not cer-
|,ainly to be found at any time, or in anyplace,
. ^eir Love-humors being like the Camelions
^ ^^olours, whofe property is to have no certain'
"'ine. So that 'tis no wonder to find a young
'r D Wo-
50
Woman that is inconftant, but a greater one
to find one that is notthe Earth being not
more variable in all her Properties, nor the
Heaven in all its Influences, than moft of the
vain great beauties are in their Love-fancies;
and fure if the Bafis and ground-work of their
whole Love-nature be fandy, the more Men
foundation on their Conffancy, (I mean only
in point of Love) the more they expofe them-
felves to their deceit, and confequcntly to
creating their mifery.
Therefore I am clearly of opinion, that as
to Ladies Conflancy, when the greatefl Cri-
ticks have made their moft ftudious Obfer-
vations, and EfTay'd their moft fubtil experi- ^
menCs, on all the points of Loves Compafs, ,j
they muft own their Ignorance touching the jj,
various ways and diverfity of motions of Wo-.i
mens minds, fince Love often works uponlfj
their Imaginations, and flies to their Hearts,
as Blufhes do to their Faces, which they can
neither command their going, or hinder their
coming, Imce they ft ill go and come at their
own rate; therefore I am fully of opinion,
that the moft able Artifts,Naturalifts, undVe-'i^^
nus Philofophers with all their fpeculative
Rules and Meafures, ought to ftrike Sail, and
yield to common praftical experience, as to
the Choices of young Womens levcral fancieij
in their Love-likings 5 and to grant thatMensj
beft Logick will be to Argue, in moft young
Women:
af>d D I g^G G U R S E S. 51
Womens way of Arguing, 'lis (b, becaule
® 'tis fo.
''' Since then the difcovery of the Ebbing and
Flowing of young Womens hearts and minds,
® are like that of the Sea, a wonderful Motion,
expoFed to the publick view of ail, but con-
ceal'd from the true knowledg of any, for
® one may as rationally hope to find the Philofb-
phers Stone, that turns all Metals into Gold,
'Iji as to find the Art of turning all young Ladies
Love-fancies fo as to meet in one Centre of
''3' Conftancyi which isasimpofiible as to be able
to meafure the Sea with your Span, or what's
as feafible,to fathom the depth of a youngWo-
® mans inclinations, with the Plummet of your
^ reafon, their changable Love being as very far
from true certainty, as almoft the drop of Ink
iii' that writes this is from the Ocean : There-
is ' fore I fhall end thisDifcourfe with this ferious
fe Confideration, and Refblution, that fince 'tis
to not in the power of Man to find it out, fairly
tos to leave it as fuch, and hereafter only to won-
iU der, at ones wondring, at my not being able
ajt to difcover the various humors, and intricate
H-i windings of young Womens minds at all
times, when few of them know their own at
Siii'any time.
ce,2
0
)|lf Da THE
THE SIXTH
DISCOURSE,
Of Marridgey and Wives who ujurp
a governing Power over their Hus^
handsy which is now fo commony a I
ifs become almoft the general grie:;^
vance of the Nation.
THere are of Wives, as of moft other
things, two forts,the good and the bad;
thegood prefents theHusband withmuch hap-
pinefs,and great Content; and the bad creates
as much milery and diflatisfaQ-ion : The firft
is a kind of Heaven, the fecond a (brt of Hell
upon Earth, for there can be no Purgatory
leated in the mid way between them ; for oui
of Purgatory kis poflible to be redeemed foi
Mony, but from Marriage 'tis impoffible tc
be ranfom'd but by death. All I fliailfay oi
Purgatory is, that if there's fuch a Place
(which I cannot believe^ tho'it may be mucli
vifited, yet I fancy'tis little inhabited, be
caufe fhch as have Mony may buy themfclve^
out of it, and thofe that have none, are noi
worth keeping in ir«
I ftiallhereonly namefomeofthe main in-
gredients that go to make up the Compofiti-
on of a real happy Marriage, to compleac
which there muftbeon both fides, hearty love,
and true liking 5 that fo they may joyn their
Hearts, as well as the Minifler does their
r. Hands, and as their Marriage Vow makes
i f them tho two, but one Flelh; font mufl make
them both, to be but of one Mind, and one
I,, gConcern, which is, to pleafe one another; and
to this good Confort of Humors, and Inclina-
5" tions, there muft be added a like degree of
Age, and a fuitable manner of breeding as
well as an equality of Families and Fortunes,
loi and all thefe Flowers are to be bound up into
a fweet and well made Nofegay, by a fervent
(jils: -Zeal, and a holy love to Piety and Vertue, for
IcS without .a mixture of thele, the Married
[jitr. Couple, do but found their happinefs on the
oiH Sand, and build all their hopes of Content,
with untempered Mortar ; for tho 'tis as true
■Id;; 1 as common, that meet beauties do often breed
.'ujijj ^ great fondnefs, yet it can never create true
IlifLove; for beauty is but the flight fading var-
jIlDi: nifli of the Face which foon wears ofF, but Ver-
tue is the fubflantiai lading beauty of the
Mind, and makes a handfom fine Lady, like
; the Kings Daughter all glorious within, and
preferves her Marriage Love in a fweet, and
. perfeft Harmony, without which, it can have
no duration, but muft foon fade, and ravel out
into change and inconftancy. D 3 And
T E R S
And now I mult tcli you, 1 know not cer-
tainly where to direft you to find the great
j rarity of fuch a happy well match'd Couple,
but this I know, that where e'er they are to be
found about this Kingdom, 'tis a thoufand
pities that death fliould ever take them out of it
becaufe they are fo very hard to be found in it.
And now t have nam'd fome of the princi-
pal Ingredients, that are abfolutely necefiary
to compleat a happy Marriage, I hope I fliall
not need here name any of thofe great Faults,
and ill Humors, which go to the making up
' the Compofition of a bad Wife, but ftiall re-
fer you to the next Husband you meet, and
know, who can certainly tell you by woful
experience fome of them that his Wife has, and
the next you inquire after may. tell you more,
for every Husband can tell you more or lefsof
his Wives faults; for there is no Husband but
knows fome, and 'tis well if flie has not fome
more than he knows, fo that I lliall only need
t,ell you here by whole-fail, that as many Fi-
gures joyn'd together make a great Sum, fo
many great Faults and crofs peeviih ill humors
united in one Woman make an ill Wife.
Now if you would know the difference be-
tween fuch Husbands, who efteem themfelves
in their Wives very happy, and thofe that be-
ilii lieve themlelves to be made by them very mi-
I ferable. Of the firfl: kind, the Husband thinks,
i: i il; as good as his Wife is, that there cannot be a
. Wife
A
^ Wife that has no fault, the other thinks that
there can be no fault, but what his Wife has;
''i fo that the fum total of this difference is eafily
call up in thefe few words, as to the belief that
good, and bad Husbands have of their Wives
'f" faults, that all Wives have fome, and fome
at Wives have all.
® But this truth, neither the good of bad Hus-
^ band can deny, that tho there areas d bad
^ as good fuccefles in Mens choice of W ives, and
Wives choice of Husbands, yet that does not at
§! all leflen, or take from, the holy Inflitution of
Marriage; which is pure and comfortable in it
felf, tho more are made miferable than happy
by it, Marriage being a Sacred Order, not only
i)S as old as our father Adam, but almoft as Nature
It® her felf, for it began with the World, and is not
Is; like to end but with it, and can truly boaft,
lilt both of the greateft Antiquity for its Parent,
fe and thefirft rank of Miracles for its honour;
|1K for Scripture tells us, that thefirfl Miracle our
Iff hlejfed Saviour did in Canaa vtas at aWeddingt
a; and we read in Genefis, that God had no fooner fi-
13E nijhed Creating the World, hut he presently aCled
a Miracle in it^ by making a Marriage, for the per-
£jlt fedion of which, he miraculoufly divided one body
iflis into two, and united tvpo bodies into one.
jitk And in thofe blefled days of purity and inno-
ijj cency, before fin began to reign in the World,
ijilii God the great Maker,, and wife difpofer of all
iki things, thought one Husband fufficient for one
If; D 4 . Wife,
CHARACTERS
Wife, and one Wife for one Husband ; but in
our wicked Age of excefs, wantonnefs and in-
conftancy, there are crowds of Men and Wo-
men that lift themfelves into the holy Order of
Matrimony, that will not confine themfelves
to thofe lirhited bounds which God himfelf
gave, and they themfelves vow'd to keep, but
will rather choofe thofe Adulterous courfcs
God has forbid, than ufe thofe lawful means,
which God has given by Marriage: But 'tis
a fin defeends to us from our father Adam; to
leave all the lawful fruit in the Garden, to eat
of the forbidden Tree.
And now I fancy it need not pafs for Raille-
ry, of a meer Romantick expreffion, to fay,
'Twould be now another Wedding Miracle in
England, to fee our vain modifli Ladies as juft
and obedient to their Husbands as they ought
to be, or indeed our foppifh young Gallants,
as kind, andconftantto their Wives as they
fliould be; for we are got into fuch a Brood
of ill Wives, and bad Husbands, they com-
monly hunt in Couples, one ftill helping to
make the other as infamous as they can, and fo
as many of the bad Wives think one Husband
too little, fd many of thefe ill Husbands think
one Wife too much.
Now if any vvonderat this new falliion, of
ranking in writing, the Wife before the Huf-
^and, I fancy they will not much admire at it,
when! tell them my reafon is, becaufc 'tis the
' ' ' ' ■ Wives
Wives right from the very beginning of the
I World, to take place and go before her Huf-
0 band 5 but yet you ought not to be cither
t pleas'd or proud of it, when I remember you
in what manner you took place, and went be-
I; fore your Husband, which was only in finful
difobedience, a mifery Wives ought ever to
mourn for, but never to boaft of, and which is
aj fo far from a new falhion, as we may read in
tE Scripture 'tis as very old as the firft Woman,
1; and afforded Adam no other excule for his be-
)5 ing perfwaded to dilobedience by his Wife,
than that the Woman beguiled me, and I did
^ eat.
it S.FiJa/orders the Wife to be fubje6t to her
h Husband, and gives this reafon for it, for
jt' firft Adam was made, then Eve, to fiiew 'tis
5-^ the Mans place to go firft, and the Woman to
follow the Man, and not the Man to follow
j. the Woman, fo that'tismoft clear by the Law
of God, the Woman was made for the Man,
,.j(j and formed the weaker Veflel; but by our
g; new Englijh pra(3:ice,it fecms to pafs for good
currant modilh dodtrin, that the Man was
created for the Woman, and made the weaker
Veflel, elfe fure Men would never endure, that
fo very many Wives fliould rule their Hus-
bands, and fo very few Husbands ffiould go-
vern their Wives.
The fubtil Lawyers that can talk the craftieft
Men out of their mony; (feme giving them in-
[Cif deed.
deed only but talk for their mony) cannot yet ! fo
talk their Wives into due obedience, many of j ^
them only laughing at their Husbands threats j
of bringing Writs of Errors, and Adlions of gn
Trefpais, againft them, for ufurping and pra- tii
clifing an unlawful governing power over itk
them, which tho contrary to Magna Chart a, and
the fundamental Law of this Kingdom, and all
pther Laws whatfoever, except that ofCuflom,
yet Lawyers Wives will keep this Law in full
force, (1 am fure they cannot fay, and vertue) lie
for they break all Laws, both divine and human i Pop
by it. ijli
Nor can our Miniflers with all their Canoni- 11
cal gravity, Divine Rhetorick, and eloquent lai
Preaching, teach fheir Wives fo efFedually S. ,lii
Pauls leflon of fubmilTion as to make them pay ra
them fo much as the Tythe of obedience, for if iifut
they could, fure they would never fuffer them Jso
to wear fuch rich Clothes, which is not only /
iinfuitable to the gravity and decency of a Cler- ;oa
gy Mans Wife, but very contradictory to the Hui
Apoftle Pauls doClrin,who orders in general all
Women, and fure Miniflers Wives above all,
not to adorn themfelves with rich, but modeft
Apparel; nor can our great Merchants that
Plow the Seas with their Ships to all Kingdoms
of the World, in all their long Voyages, and
great dealings, purchafe any confiderable quan-
tity of this rare Commodity, call'd Wife obe-
dicnce,and let me tell them, not for their com-
fort,
on;
an^ R S E S. 59
fort, if they can buy none of it abroad, they
will hardly find any given them at home.
Nay I may yet go farther, and fay, that the
grcatefl, and moft wife Statefmcn with all
their Politicks, cannot make their Wives pay
them their jufl obedience, and I fancy their
Husbands efleem it a great part of their wif-
dom and prudence not to expedl it, becaufe
probably they in great wifdom do ferioufly
refleft on theflate of their Adam^ who though
he had all the Wit and Wifdom, Policy andi
1 Power, of the whole World folely and intirely
in himfelf, yet when he got a Wife, or rather
m a Wife got him, we all know to his high
Kjj: fhame, and our great mifery, that flie govern'd
f him, not he her; by which all Husbands may
. receive this fmall Confolation, that Wives
; ufurping the Government, is no new Error, but
- as old almofl as the Creation,
tj All I fliail fay to our" Nobility and Gentry
[i[i on this fad Subjeft of Wives governing their
ui Husbands, is only to defire moft of them to
lay their hands on their Hearts, and then tell
uti, me if feeing is not believing. In truth one
uj need go no farther than the Streets to meet
jg; many Men that do not govern their Wives, but
one muft travel the whole Kingdom over to
J., meet a few that do.
jj We find that Springs which move only by
ijj the meer courfe of Nature, will mount no higher
than their Heads, becaufe 'tis againft Nature
to
6q characters
to do it, and if we may believe S. Paut^ and
he is no good Chriftian that does not, he tells
us that the Husband is the head of the Wife,
and if the Wife will but believe that, fure Ihe
cannot tell how to deny this, that Africa it
felfjcan produce nothing more monftrous,than
for a Woman to grow above her head, which
being the uppermoft part of the body,nothing
can grow above it, for if it did, then it can-
not be the uppermoft part. Sure fuch filly
bead-like Husbands, that do not know their
own drength, and fo allow the Prerogative
power of Governing to be in the Wife, could
never wonder at Balaam's Prodigy, that the
Beafl fliould be wifcr than the Rider.
Certainly this fort of Wives that make it
their Praftice, and believe it their right, to ex-
ercife a Sovereignty over their Husbands, ne-
-ver read, or forgot they ever did, S. Pauls do-
Plrin., I faffer not the Woman to exerci/e an au-
thority over the Man, God fird Created Male,
then Female, Gods command to the Wife to
be fubjed to her Husband, was given as long
ago as the fird Woman, and really I believe,
'twill be as long hence as the lad Wife, before
it be driftly obferv'd by a general concurrence
of obedience, if one may judge of all Wives, by
the common rate mod now adays govern at,
and what's worfe, are like to do, for 'tis mod
Certain, that long Cudom makes a. firm Law,
afid what Men are long acquainted with, they
are ufually well contented at. t
S. 61.
™ I have heard fome of thofe high-fpirited go-
teli verning Wives, chat have been fo wickedly
foolilh,- as CO borrow fome of the Devils fo-
phiflry to argue with, chat becaufe the Com-
mandof Wife obedience, is as old asthefirft
,ik", Woman, and was then only given to one Wo-
man, and that beyond the memory of any
otli Man, that therefore it ought now to be out of
it til the pradlice of all Women of our times,
til Hi efpecially of fuch as are raodiih and witty, and
tvik confequently unfit for them to follow; but
w/r.: thofe that inftead of paying obedience, make
CiCMi: it their fport to railly at Gods Commands, let
ikt fuch expe£t that Gods Judgment without rail-
lery will follow them; be not deceived, God
: mik will not be mocked.
lii,MS There was among this Hedtoring brood of
una' Women, a Parfon'sWife that govern'd her Hus-
Piulsf band, as too many of them do, but could not
pii govern her Tongue, as too many of them do
i(i:l not, who-was fo very fenfelefs, as to ask in a
; Wii':: jeering ranting manner a grave learned Minifier
;nasl« that came to vifither Husband who was not
[ks very well, (and indeed no wonder, for his brains
were never well in their right order fince his
god? Wife firft govern'd him) what S. Pa^^/could
mean by that faying, Woman is the weaker
fovtf To which the learned Minifier grave-
J'[ism ly reply'd. Truly Madam Goierne^ what the A-
litiiib pofile meant I know not, except your Sex was the
lis weaker Veffel in difiretion and Continency.
Indeed
Indeed 'twere much better for thefe high-
fpirited governing Wives, to confider how they
can exempt themfelves of that great profane-
nefs of daring to vie Miracles with the Almigh-
ty, as in efTed: ail governing Wives do, foras
God wrought a Miracle by taking the Woman
out of the Man, fo they would aft another, by
turning the Man into the W^oman; but Mira-
cles are ceafed, and I wilh for the public good
that all governing Wives power were fo too;
but if that were, fome may objeft, that then
Miracles cannot be ceafed, fince that would
be a new and great Miracle indeed.
Really if Wives were but as wife as they
ought, then they would confider as they
fliould do, and conftantly obferve, what they
cannot but ftill truly believe, that 'tis Gods
pofitive Command, that the Wife fliould be
in fubjeftion to her Husband.
And now if I fliould ask one of thefe ranting
governing Wives, this Qneflion, howfliecan
pretend to exempt her felt from the foul faft,
of beheading her Husband; I really believe it
would puzle her to give a rational and fatisfa-
ftory anfwer, for if the Apoflle S. Paul by fay-
ing the Husband is the head of the Wife, means
that the Husband as head has the governing
power over the Wife, which certainly is the
true fenfe of thefe words, and no Wife that has
fence can deny it; then the Head fignifying
the Power, and the Power the Head, this con-
clufion
clufion muft neceflarily of courfe follow. That
L the Head being the Husbands governing Po w-
er, the Wife that cuts off the Husbands go-
g verning Power, cuts off the Husbands head,W
if fhe will allow the firft, flie can hardly deny
the latter; but I fliall end this Difcourle, and
jj|, ferioufly conclude, that if Husbands were as
wife as they ought, governing Wives would
not be fo numerous as they are, nor rule fo
much as they do; for then Men would never
^ yield up fo tamely and meanly their birthright
of governing power, which the Law both of
God and Man, (and I wilh I could fay the
Law of Cuftom too,) has given the Husband
TO
aits
over the Wife, that fo it might become here-
after as fVrange in England to hear of a Wife
that does govern her Husband, as now 'tis to
hear of a Wife that does not; and that govern-
ing Wives maybe as very fcarce, as now they
, _ are very common, and as much out of fafliion,
as now they are in.
But methinks I hear fome blaming me for
being unreafonably fevere, in writing againft
governing Wives in general, when I cannot
; but own that there are fome governing Wives
that for being fo, are not blameable, but com-
mendable, which are fuch prudent fober Wo-
3'^ men, as are Married to foolifli fottiih Men,
who if their Wives did not govern, they could
not govern themfelvcs, and fo their great noble
"f''Eftaccs would foon be wafted, and moulder a-
' ,1 way
cljj ^
f(
t
iiiit'i
way into afoolifh and (hameful ruin; which by
their Wives wife and difcrcet management is
prevented. To which lanfwer, that there's no
general Kuie without an exception, and befides
I do not defign this Difcourfe againft fuch go-
verning Wives,as find their Husbands fools, but
againft thofe Wives as make their Husbands
fuch meerly by their governing them, but if
a Husband be fo foolifhly blind in his Judg-
ment, as he cannot fee the right way to order
his Perfon, and Eftate, 'tis a neceftary duty
and kindnefs of his Wife to govern him, and
his fortune, and to lead him out of all the dan-
gers and inconvenicncies he might run both it,
and himfelf into, and fuch a Wife dcferves
no more blame, for governing fuch a Husband,
than a Servant does for leading about his Ma-
fter, and ihewing him the way, when he can-
not fee to find it being quite blind: But yet
this governing power a Wife muft perforin
with great refpedl: and civility to her Huf-;
band, by leftening, and (heltering his weak-
nefs to all perfons as much as poftibly Ihe can/
that all may fee, the occafton of her Govern-
ing is not an A£t of Pride, but a Work of
pure neceflity, not her delight, but trouble.
In a word, fhe muft be very far from faying of j
her Husband, what a ranting Widow did,
that had three Husbands and govern'd them
all, and for her fourth Ihe chofe a meet Fool,
and being ask'd her reafori, ftie a'nfwcfd, flie
was
""I was grown Lazy,and thereforeMarried aFool,
fto fave her lelf the trouble of making him one.
THE S^EVENTH
DISCOURSE,
Of the Inequality of many Marriages^
and the Inconjiancy of moji Wives,
that Men Marry for meer Beauty, or
their Parents Match for bare Mony,
with the fad end that ufually at"
tends fuch Matches.
IN my Opinion, the great reafbn why diF
agreeingMarriages are now grown fb rife,
is becaufe unequalMatchesare now become fb
common, moft Parents making it more their
bufinefs to Match well Portions and Eftates,
than Sons and Daughters; and fb their For-
tunes do but fiiit well, no matter if their Age,
Humors, and Inclinations agree ill ; many
Parents making it more their concern to pro-
vide their Children plenty of Livelihood,than
contentednefs of Living, being much more
taken with a great Gingling of Guinnies, than
with a Sweet Confort of Vertues, or a good
Pedigree of Gentility, which occafions fbme
fine great Ladies to have rich Husbands, and
~ ^ E ~ fair
66 C H A k A C T E R S
fair Hliates, and yet but bad Fortunes, to be J
well Married, and yet but ill Match'd, becauie tl
they do not fancy, and fo are not fatisfied l/i
with one another. tl
Content and Happinefs are Twins,born out oi
of the fame Womb,and fpring out of the fame /«
Root, and none can be content with what he lo
does not like, no more than dilconientcd b
with what he does j for if he likes, he muft be toi
content, elfe he does not like. And 'tis alfo the ,dSt
fame, where there's no Content, there can be for
no Love ; for if he loves he murt be content na
with what he Loves,elfe he does not Love,and m
where there's no Content and liking,there can k,
hardly beany true Conftancy, for none can Jkji
affetl a Conftancy to that they do not like, but fo
theirMind is ftill in purfuit after that they do. ifc
Moft Parents in Marrying their Childien, tlieii
are fure to remember So/omon^sfiying, That W
Many anjwtrs all thingsforget his meaning, 'ion
that is purchafable with it; for feveral young joeai
Ladies that are richly Married,can tell by wo- Jiie
ful experience, that much Mony cannot ftill Ikt
buy true Content,fince many of them have lit- i^i
■ - ■
tie content, in the midft of their much Mony. Mi
And farther, common experience, which is ijieat
ufually the effeft of reafon, alTures us that it
cannot purchafe many things,as to give fight
to the Blind, or Youth to the Aged, or what's
equally impoftible as both, to create Love
againft liking. [lis true indeed that Guinnies
do
jkIi
ilati
ciul
and S E S. 67
ik do often tye a fad Matrimonial Knot, but of
w[i themfeives can never tye a true Lovers one,
iW fince no Medicine that has not a mixture of
the Sympathetick Powder, can operate kindly
nK on young Womens minds; for as nothing can
[ffi force a Mans belief contrary to his own reafon,
lir fo nothing can compel a Womans Love againft
lii her own liking. Tis true one may be forced
ni; to obey at the rate of a Tyrants Will, but 'tis
ill as true that none can believe or Love but pro-
iQj; portionable to their own reafon or fancy, which
MC made the great Tyrant Idero fay, that he had
o?(,i much rather he fear d, than lovdbecaufe faid
jtiji he, they that fear me, fear me after my rate, hut
lODtj thofe that love me.^ love me after their own.
Indeed mod of thefe Matches that are made
tlitj; up on the account of Intered, and not Love,
;iil; their kindnefs is but like a Winters Sun, faint,
51' and of no duration, and tho it may now and -
jyj; then in fome time of the Day, fliine bright and
clear to the Eyes of Spcftators, yet it carries no
true heat with it, and therefore can never
bring forth any ripe fruit of true concent or
fatisfafdion; and indeed no wonder dnce fuch
a Winter Sun's Love can produce none of the
pleafant Fruit of Marriage delights, when the
lljDays civilities between them are very Faint,
and the Night Embraces very Cold; for thefe
^ i Matches of meer Convenicncy, that are made
jjup only for great fums of Mony, or meet fan-
'!."xiful beauty, no fooner that the Wives beauty
E 2 is
is gone, or the Husbands Mony fpenc, (they
being the only Cement, that laftned a com- ffi
mon civility between them,) but the unbeau- irli
tiful Wife appears difagreeable to her Huf- ire
band. And the Monylels Husband, feemsjei
contemptible to the Wife, and both Husband k
and Wife, become not only unpleafing, but in
defpifabie the one to the other. [oo
There was an Italian that writ a great Book m
in praile of good Wives, and concluded there
was but one good Wife in all the world, and iii
faid that was enough for all, fincc every Hus-br
band that truly lov'd his Wife, might fancy iaiti
'twas her; but by the Italians leave, tho one ikj
good Wife that is trufted abroad, is more by mm
one, than is in all Italy, lor no Husband in )tkj
that Jealous Country will venture on the de- Ii
fperateExperiment, of trufting his Wife abroad My
in Mens Company, to try whether flie be vcr-
tuous or not, much of the Wives Challity there 1M2
depending on their Husbands Ihict watch-jjMv
fulnefs over them; the Italians efteeming it man
a mod excellent and Sovereign Antidote to'iicj;
hinder their Wives from becoming kind toaif
Men, is to prevent Mens being able to comejjiciit
to be kind to their Wives ,* for every Italian A
carries dill about him, this old Englijh Froverb,
7hat^tis the occafion wakes the Thief, nay and
obferves it with more reverence and pun£tu«
ality, than all the Proverbs of Solomon toge
thcr.
But
ana
irea
Hid
an,
ijiii Buc in England there are many vertuous
tc Wives, that go where they will, and keep
ills what Mens company they pleafe; but this
iK; great truft of free liberty, is not convenient
(i to be extended to all Women, fincefomctimes
'ik Husbands by it, (hew more confidence in their
1^1 Wives, than difcretion in themfelves; and as
too much liberty fpoilsfome Wives, fo aftrift
ail watchful Jealoufie, makes many Wives worfc
ik than they would be, by believing them worfe
. than they truly are; lor.doubtlefs manyHus-
bands make their Wives dilhonefl by mifirufl-
ing them; for that breeds anger,and hatred, and
:,ffi they often create revenge, which fome hot Wo-
ik: manilh fpirits will aft upon any account, tho
iiK they themfelves are the greateft fufFerers by it.
Ill; I efteem Jealoufie to be a moft ridiculous
i::;. folly, not only becaufe Jealous Men, eagerly
lek feek, what they highly dread to find, but if
liij: a Man had more Eyes than Argo^, yet as Ar-
i3{. gw was, he may be deceiv'd by afimple Wo-
man; for if a Woman will but put on the
iCi. wickednefs of the Devil, fhe will not fail be-
ijli ing furnilhed with the fubtilty of the Ser-
ietoi pent.
jjji: And therefore it often happens, that great
ijte and wife Statefmenin the Politicks of Marri-
age, who trull intheir Wives vertuous words,
great modelly, and ftrift outward behaviour,
may be deceiv'd ; for unvertuous thoughts
and defigns areufualiy difguifedand fetoutin
E 3 finer
7T5 vj n A H S
finer exprciTions, than plain honeft dealing,
and thofe commonly promife mod, that mean
to perform lead, becaufe they intend to pay in
no other Coin than bare words and fade adu-
ranees; and therefore none ought to wonder
if great Politicians as well as others, are now ,
and then deceiv'd in their Wives vertue. We '
read that Sampfon wixhdMhxs Strength, the
he could not be out witted by all the Phili-
flines, was over-reached by the fubtiky of a
Woman.
A dri(d feeming outward modedy, is not
dill an infallible dgn of a Wives true inward
Vertue ; fince 'tis not extraordinary to fee a
Woman look like a Saint before Company, |
and a£l likea Mifs in private; for many hand- '
fom Women, that are of a good coming and '
melting nature, affoon as you are a little ad- i
vanced into their acquaintance, and favour, :
yet feem very coy and fevere at fird entrance !
into it, imitating the Sea, which tho never fo ]
quiet and calm in the main, yet dill cadeth i
out rough waves near the fliore.
And now, whatfoever men may think ofme, ,
I am fure my meaning is truly friendly, in ad-
vifing them, that if they are in the happy date
of freedom, not to yoak their Liberty in Mar- |
riage for meer Beauty, or bare Mony, but '
ehiefly for vertue and goodnefs; for if you but
confider ferioufly, you wjU find certainly, that
the raifery of an ill Wife, is no new adlidion,
I, — —-—
but as very an old one as Marriage,and almoft
Nature it felf, witnefs Adam who lived in a
'• continued innocency, and felicity whiift he
remained in the Paradice of afingle Life, but
he was no fooner Married to Eve, but he was
® caft out of both.
i And 'tis moft certain, let your Love range over
Court, Town and Country, nay ramble over
the whole World, you can never choofe a Wife,
' that IS not her Daughter; and common expe-
rience tells us, that there are few Daughters
that do not favour fomething of their Mothers
humor, as well as nature, and therefore'twill
be highly prudential in this fad and weighty
affair, to confider that Marrying a bad Wife,
(as 'tis more than an even Lay one does,) has
fomething in it of the nature of that fin, for
which men can have no repentance or pardon,
no more than they can have any eafe, or relief
® for it while they live; for one may as well
pretend to free Deaths Prifoners from the
Grave, as unchain the Married during their
Lives; no SkiLlof thegreateft Artift, nor yet
Argument of the moll fubtile Socman, can
\p ever evade or loofe a Wedding Knot, it being
# of an extraordinary lading Union, quite diffe-
ring from all others, for Men can unbind all
iotf others whild they live, but a Marriage Vow,
lyK can only be unbound by death it felf.
iiilfi' And no w I have given you this part of my
0 Opinion as to meer Mony, or beauty Marri-
" E 4 ages,
r
I
CHARACTER S
ages, which many Husbands may truly call j
in the Apoftlcs phrafc, Ctho fpoke in another ('
and more divine fenfc,J That Lahor of Love. |'
J hope 'twill not appear an extraordinary fault, \ i
in faying it. S. Paul had forefeen the Romantic J
Gallantry, and extravagant folly, (I think, I I
might have faid madnefs,) of many Marriages 11
made now adays, which fome of our vain in- J
confiderate Ladies are drawn into, by the com- j m
mon report, that fuch a Man has a great Eftate, J lii
which fuits well with her eager defire to keep Hf
a Coach and fix Horfes, (which Ihe vainly it
fancies, will not only carry her thorow all the lo
miferies of Marriage, but into the Towring pa- ) ft
Rime of the Park) without the ieaft concern jln
of getting a good prudent fober religious Huf-
band, many of them not valuing, or at leaft
not confidcring other, than the keeping a fplen-
did Retinue, and glittering train of Liveries, jtoi
than wearing rich Clothes adorn'd with Gold, jiil
and coftly Pearl, when there are a hundred i»<
more weighty concerns, that are more needful I ii,
Appendencies to compleat a happy Marriage, j lie
Really this is one of the chief Caufes why ' i:
fuch Marriage Love decays, and wears out j je
with their Wedding Coaches, and, is as often '0
out of order as they, ('twere well if they ilill | m
CDuId be as eafily mended) which none ought W
to wonder at, it being but natural for cfFcds ' tn
p follow their Caufes, • k
I
Among
_LU
and D^T^TT^O U R S E S. 75
g! Among all the great and extravagant follies
4 that areufed in the inequalities of Marriages in
4 cur days,there's none appears to me more irra-
k tional and unnatural, than an old Mans Marry-
It ing a young Woman, which in my Opinion
t feems a Match fitter to make fport for others,
ffi: than to raife joy to themfelves; for an old
ffl: Man is to his young Wifes Bed, but like juice
i£G of Orange to her Stomack; it may create in
\k her an Appetite,^ but of it felf can never fatif-
tot fie it; fuch an old Man being not only unfuit-
1 able, undecent, but unwholefom too, being
i\ to her like March Sun, which all the great
15 Phyfitians concur in opinion, to be very un-
E healthful, as having only flrength to exhale
iisl Humors, but wants force to diflblvc them ; fo
ju that fuch a Match is fo great a folly,as I fhall on-
ly here need name one fliameful mifery that
ij;: commonly attends it, and indeed I need name
[|5i I think no other, either to fortifie my opinion
againfl it, or to fet out ones mifery for doing
it, which is this, That an old Man that Mar-
jjji ries a handfom young Woman, tho his Wife
jjjji may be fo vertuous as not to Cuckold him,
.JJ5 yet the world is fo wicked in its reports to
jj; Cenfure him, fo as it will always 5 which minds
^ me of a ftory of a Gentleman, whom both his
Wife, and Neighbours agreed to proclaim the
truth of his being a Cuckold, and fhe dying,
he Married an old ugly rigid Puritan, that
was fo cdioufly deformed as he was fatisfied,
JS
74 C
flie wanted Power, and the world Charity
enough to Cuckold him, for 'twas impoffible
there could be a fpark of Love, or liking in the
Cafe, and he did believe that this Wife would
not only be a perfect Antidote againfl horns
for the time to come, but a Remedy for what
was pad; but one of his Neighbours being of
a contrary belief call'd him Cuckold, upon
which he repaired to his learned Counfellor in
the Law, to know if his prefent Wife being
honeft, (though his former was not fo,) whe-
ther he was dill a Cuckold, or not? to which
his learned Lawyer gravely anfwered him, That
tbo he was not one in pure firi^neji of Law, yet
heingonce fo, theCuJlom of the Country, was fo
civil as to give him the Title during his Life.
And now I have given you my opinion,and
told you the ufual fare that attends old
Mens Marrying young Women ; next comes
that of young Womens Marrying old Men,
and tho they appear both alike foolifli, yet
there's great difFerence in their folly, for as by
this fort of Marches, old Men glut themfclves
with much more of the Woman than their age
wants ; fo young Wives (if vertuous) dint
themfelves with much Icfs of the Husband
than their Youth needs, and beddesthoMar-
fiage has the power tounite two Bodies into
one FlclhVyet it wants that of uniting the two
Fleflies into one temper or Conditution; for a
young Wife that is in the Spring of her age, is
like
75"
am like the Sun in the Spring of the Year, it not
ft only gets the afcendant every day higher and
int higher, but grows every day more ftrong and
voii; vigorous, but an old Husband, is like Au-
\m tHwriy whofe ftrcngth goes only downward.
[ii Therefore I fancy an old Man Marrying a
ieiiij( handfom young-Lady, has nothing to plead,
, ijc but Guilty 5 but a young Lady for Marrying an
old Man, may,have fome colourable excufe,
eb to moderate the folly, and lelTen thelliameof
]^i fuch an unequal Match; for perhaps flie'll tell
m you, Ihe has heard a (lory, which if as true as
llrange is a rare one. That the reafon that Stags
Lj;,; live Jo very lorg, is, that when they find them-
r),ii [elves to decay, they [wallow alive Serpent,and
J [;■; as it con[ames in their body, they revive in their
niocji jltength and Spirits. So poffibly a young Wo-
jjjj; man will fay. That Jhe did not Marry an old
jj[ 01 Man [or leing r ich in Tears, hut Mony, and he-
m cauje Jhe [ound her Fortune decaying, and al-
moji quite decayed; therefore flie fwallowed a
(jjj; Marriage with an old Man, as the Stag does a
Serpent, in hopes that as her Husband con-
fumes and dies in her bofom, fo flie may re-
Vive in her fprightly gay humor, and pleafe her
gjj- felf with the delightml thoughts of the wealth
he will leave her, and the ways Ihc will In-
trigue to fpend it in the fanciful hopes ilie has,
of fuddenly gaining a young Husband fuitablc
both to her Youth, and aiery Inclinations.
etJ? * T-,
; 4 OOrO
76 C H A R A
There is another fort of Women, but in-
deed their number is very fmall, who being
not handfom in their own opinion, and there-
fore may befafely concluded very ugly in that
of all others^ who to fupply the defeats of
nature and age, give out they are very rich,
and that they hope will make amends for all.
Gold being always young, handfom and ta-
king, to all forts of Men, and Ages, for Mony
anjwers a'l things, and by thefe reports of their
Wealth, tho often falfc, they decoy young
Fops who have iofl their Annuity at Play, or
fpent it in Debauchery, to Court them for their
fame of having much Mony, and too eagerly
prefs the Marrying them for it, Swearing that
they Love their perfons more than their Mo- j
ny, valuing them a thoufand times before it 3 '
and no wonder that they that fwear fo com-
monly for nothing, fliould now lye for much
Mony; for in real truth they only put the Wi-
dow before the Mony, as we do in common
fpeaking, the Box before the Jewels, which
chough firft, is altogether inconfiderable to
the latter, as only containing that Riches,
vvhich it felf makes no part of.
And many of thefe old rich Widows are fo
doatingly fenfelefs, that becaufe their Mony
Courters, fwear they are handfom, they verily
believe they are fo,and credit others words be-
fore their own eycs,thQ their fpedaclesare on,
which renders feme fo fottiflily impudent, as
to
a L
77
to tell their Gallants, that the their beauty is in
the fall of the Leaf, yet Autumn can breed
Lovers as well as the Spring does, when in
truth, an old withered Autumn face, does but
Chill the blood, and difpirit the vigour of the
moft a£five and refoluce Courtier; and there-
fore a Spring beauty can only enflame the
heart, and tho poffibly a young Man may be
fometimes foolilhly taken with an old Womans
great wit, good humor, or rather greater ri-
dies; yet 'tis, I think, impoffiblehecanbe re-
ally in Love with herdeform'd face, perfon.or
age, which muft quench the fire ofany amorous
flames in a youthful or vigorous heart.
Therefore I lliall advife all fuch Women, to
be fo prudent as to yield to the feafons of Age,
as they muft to that of the Year, and not hope
to turn Winter into Summer, or Autumn into
Spring; but inftead offtrivingfor what's im-
polTible, yield to what's reafonable, and fub-
mit to thefe true Meafures, That Eighteen is
the gay fprightly bloflom age that a young
Womans Life flunes out in its brightcft fplen-
dor and beauty: That Thirty is the ftale year :
of a Maid, and the worft age of a Wife, (I
mean that's an ill one,) becauie a Wife at Thir-
ty is old enough to be ugly, and young enough
to live long; but a Woman that is fo farad-
vanced in years as the frigid Zone of Sixty,
ought in all reafon to banilh all vain Love
thoughts, as to the youthful pleafures of this
world.
78
C H e T K R S
world, and to fix them on the other, fo as to
live only in order to die, imitating the good
old Woman named in the Gofpel, Luke^. 37.
Who kept in the Temple^ whofajied and prayed to
God night and day.
Indeed it becomes old Women much better
to frequent the Church with the good old
Godly Matrons fo renown'd for gravity and re-
ligion in former days, than to vific the Park or
the Play, with their vain young Gallants, left
their old Drefs, and Antick Faces, fhould
make Men fay, fuch a one is more fit to
be a Spectacle, than a Spedator; wants good
Mens Prayers, rather than young Mens
b'raifes; and is more apt to create thoughts
of Mortality, than to raife motions of
Love ; really I am of opinion that if 'twere
pofiible to turn beauty into the fame nature of
content, that the little Kingdom of England
would fvvarm now more with handfom Wo-
men, than the Country of Palefiine did ever
With fighting Men, of which Scripture makes
mention of many hundred thoufands, for than
every ugiy Woman, young or old, as thought
her felf handfom, (as moft do,) muft be really
handfom only for think it, as well as all thofe
that believe thcmfelves Content muft be Con-
tent, or elfe they could not believe themfelves
fo 5 therefore all old, and ugly Women, that
are not paft all years of difcretion, tho they
arc of beauty, fliould never ftrive for impoftl-
bilities
E S. 79
n;> bilitics, for youth will aflbon come to the aged,
JO, as beauty to the ugly; jjiut fjnce beauty will
;iv not come to content you, be you content with-
djd, out it, and ftrive for that you may obtain,
which is the beauty of holinef, which infinitely
excels all others, it being much better to live
joijj well, than look fb, and to have a good foul,
[jijl, than a fine face, that being earthly and ever fa-
Piii ding, but a pure foul is heavenly, and never
decays being everlafting.
Ijj In Ihort, that Man who is fotimplc to Mar-
[tir Mony, when that's
fpent, (and you know that Mony, like Love,
, ji, cannot always laft) all the ufe of confolation I
• can think of, is to fend for a Minifler to give
^ him fome fpiritual advice, of which he may
jl'jj perchance receive fome to eafe the trouble of
jjj,. his mind, but as to the bodily diftemper or
■L plague of his broken infirmity I am lure there
iJj can be no remedy, but that of death; for in-
deed it may be fitly faid, of a young Mans
Marrying an old ugly Woman, what the A-
poftlefiid of a greater folly in another fenfe,
' ^ he that doth fo, offends agahji hu own lody^ and
L J truly fuch a one hath in my opinion, no other
Ij plea left him to excufe his folly, than Adam
f,. had to excufe his firfl Sin, The Woman beguiled
me; I fay in Cafes like this poffibly S. Taut
might have thought it equal, for fo indeed k
is, things rightly confidered, for fuch men to
fufTer, or rather indeed conquer tiiedikurbance
of
T 8q c h ^ k
of a luftful burning, than endure the plague," I
and continual mifery«of an ill old ugly Wife,
! that can neither pleafe the fancy, nor fatisfie
the appetite, and therefore coming to fuch a
fad Marriage, is like coming to the age of
fourfcore, after which experience tells us,
there's only Labour, Infirmity, and Sorrow,
young Husbands, and old Wives, being but
meer names, things of form, not ufe, only
made to torment one another, Living in one
Houfe, but Lymg in two Beds, for the old
; Wife would have what the young Husband
will not give, and the old Wife cannot give
what the young Husband would have; in
niort a bad Wife at Land, is like a Storm at
Sea, which becaufc a Man is fo unhappy to be
engaged in, and cannot be rid of it, mufl be
fufFer'd out with patience.
And fo I have done with old Wives, for I
am certain the Reader mufl: be weary of them,
. as well aslamfure the Writer is, and there-
fore I will leave this extream of old Age, and
treat on that of young beauty, and the folly
of thetli, that Marry mecrly for it, and here
fct you down in a few Lines, the common de-
grees, ufual acceflcs, and woful events, of fuch
hot.rafli, hafly, meer beauty Marriages, as are •
now in fafhion among many of our young Gal-
lants, who choofe Wives as the filly Indians
do our Merchants Tynfel and Bawbles, who
value their real worth only by their glittering
ihow. The
W D I S G O U R S E S. 8r
The firft fteps and degrees of a young Gal-
^ lants growing love and fancy to his Miftris are
itis&i generally thefe; firfl he likes the Woman as
iclii we fay in a Lump, or by whole-fale, then he
1! admires her beauties apart, courts her perfon,
llsiii, loves her humor, thinks all Ihe fays is witty,
®in, and all flie does is graceful and becoming, and
Jisk all her aftions agreeable and excellent, though
poffibly not one of them are fo; for you muft
iDE know that beauty in Love, is like Charity in
tk§; Religion, it coveretha multitude of fault s.T^hQn
fe he prefents his heart, and Ihe becomes thefole
not?? Miftris of it, and as his palfion increafes, fo
iaf;;!:he fancies her beauty does, till at lafl: he be-
Smtlicves thefcorching flames of her beauty, to be
jpjimore infuppottable than a Midfummers Sun,
iraiidn its full meridian heat and flrength; and
therefore refolves to follow S. Paul's advice,
;es,:rT« letter to Marry than Burn-, but then pray
oiibtake this Caution with you, that tho of two
lii iktm/j-, 'tis left to choofe the leaji, yet that argues
\jc,;:neither to be good, (as indeed it was not,
tne::.when S. FW firft fpoke thofe words,J and in
jiiiKfome fenfe may not be fo now, yet however
jijoj^out fierce Lovers heart being all a fire, his mind
3 ot'rthereby grows reftlefs, and as very much out
j.5^j;;0f order as his reafon, (if a Man in Love has
Jjijj(i.any,) for to fay a pafTionate Lover that has loft
j'tuhis heart, and can yet keep his reafon, is the
Ij; greateft of follies, next to that of being fo in
cli^Love. \\,
■ I F But
Sz c H ^ R /V C T E R S
■u
|K£,
In
But fince our Amorous Gallant is lofurioully |
fmitten, rather than not quench the Amorous ,
fcorching flames of his luftlul palflon, Ihe re-(j^j
folving not to admit him to her Bed, in any j||
other mape, than that of a Husband, not con-
fiding at all in his Vows of fpcedily Marrying ,
her, poflibly becaufe Ihe had tried anothers ]
word before, and he broke it, and deceiv'd |
her, and therefore flie refolv'd not to be cozen- ^
ed fo a fecond time, by a fccond Tryal; our hot C
Politick Lover, to enjoy the thoraentary dc-'"
light of embracing her beauty, does with much
defperatnefs, and little conftderation, caft him-
felf down that dangerous Precipice of Matri-
mony, and long-liv'd trouble of a Wife, the
he buy her at the dearefl: rate.of Purchafing,
and it may be worfe fort of fooling an ill Mar-
riage, awery fad bottom to Infure the content
and hapf^efs of a Mans life upon, fince
who only Trades to get the Merchandife of|^
beauty, may become a fad loofer the he gets |
his whole Adventure, fince fuch a fort ofMa-"
trimony does ufually bring the Husband, and
often the Vvhfe, Springs of mifery and incon-l,™
veniencies, but feldom fo much as any drops ^
of the Oyl of pure gladnefs, and true fatis-
faftion. \ ' 1^^
And indcc^Tine of the great reafons
Men that Marry for mere beauty, are com J
monlyfo unhappy in their Choice, is. That .
as their^Miftrifles beauty is but a mixture o(
flafliy'
'■I
i»,;
L'
W D I S C O U R S E S. 85
flafliy and glaring colours, fo is in a manner
their reafon ; for not confidering, that beauty
Love, is but like Gunpowder, which as it
flames at thefirll Spark; fo it fees forth all its
flrength and. ficrcenefs at its fir ft firing, and
then foon expires into meet fmoak and air.
The firft falling in Love of an amorous
Man, being juft like the firft furprize of An-
ger in a Cholerick Perfon, it runs on fo violent-
ly,as it ftays not toattend reafon, nor confulc
difcrction or conveniency, and fo ftrips it felf
of true underftanding, and therefore aflbonas
fuch a Husband has cloy'd his fenfual Appe-
tite, on that furfeiting Difli of a mecr beauty
Marriage, his ftomack being ufed tofeaft on
fvveet variety, longs for other food, and then
firft Love grows indifterent, his paflion foon
cools, his eager fiery fancy grows quickly
dull, and his mind fuddenly changes j fo that
he prefently forms a new defire, or paflion of
ffl... loaths his former beauty Compani-
on, as the moft irkfom deformity; and Ihe
whom he was fo lately fond of, as the moft
pleafing Charm and Converfe of his life, who
isi'h was a kind of Elixir falutu to his very heart
If'"' and foul, and the Center point where all the
Lines of his happinefs did meet; She in whom
he could find no difcontent with, or content
f,!';.Without; She whofe prefence made a Village
as agreeable as London, and her abfeiKe Lon-
iDif don as doleful as a Village. In fliort this very
F 2. She,
84 C H P. A C T £ R S
Lfi
She, whole Company he efteem'd his Heaven
upon Earth ; no fooner was the flower of her
fair and youthful beauty worn off, but his lie''
fickle paflion afldon decays and grows languid, j
and this late Soul of his foul, and Joy of 'IjI*
his heart, turns to be the very clog and bur- ;Cia
den of his life, and from all Miftris, becomes
all Wife; that is, Ihe falls from the top of all
admiration, to the depth of meet mifery, and
from an extraordinary charming delight, to an
ordinary ncceflai y evil, called a Wife.
And fuch Husbands commonly call fucli
Wives, and fo do Wives fuch Husbands,
theYoaks of Liberty, and the Stocks of Love;
and all know that neither of them can be eafie
or pleafing in fuch a bondage, being an ene-
my, and deflroyer of fweet variety, fo that
the Husbands love being decay'd with his
Wives beauty, he grows weary of her, flie of
him, and both of one another.
And as to a young Mans Marrying an old
ugly Wife, meerly for her Mony, all I fliail
need fay of it is, that often fuch young Men
fancy fuch Mony Wives, to be of the fame Na-
ture of Mony it felF, whofe vertue confifts not
in keeping of ir, but in parting with it, and fo
commonly ufe fuch Wives accordingly; and
thus this wild paflionate Love or meet Mony
Marriages, like wild-fire, foon devours and
conlumcs it felfin its own flame; and Torrent
like, inflead of rclrefliing, it deftroys, and by
over-
w
ease over-preffing roo violently the courfe and
i\ti flreams of its Waters, foon Ebbs and runs it
felf dry.
n® Therefore that Man that will fell his fweet
jo|! Liberty, and enilave himfelf into Matrimonial
allii Chains, meerly to enjoy a VVomans beauty;
«(£ fure he does notknow, or at leaH does not con-
foli fider that dill the richer the Metal, the heavi-
II,s er the. Chain, and therefore though his Miilris
iiiiioi be never fo much the admired objedl of his
prefent fancy,and that Ilhould allow her golden
oij Chains to weigh as long light on his mind,
as llie continues beautiful to his fight, yet to
iGib. bind himfelf to herin a Matrimonial Vow on-
aks ly on the account of her beauty, till death
Jij: them depart, on alTurance that he fliall feaft
ib on her beauty as long as he lives, is jufl fuch
jfia; a kind of folly, as if a young Man that were
a great Lover of Sweet meats, Ihould leave all
his bufinefs, imployments, and padimes to
bind himfelf an Apprentice tor feven Years to
^it a Confectioner, meerly on the account, and
jgv atTurance, that during chat time he ihould eve-
jfj-:' ry day fead himfelf on them, when very com-
nion Experience is able to inform him, though
his confidence be never fo great, his inclinati-
j; ons never fo eager, and his domach never lb
good, yet 'tis natural for him to eat fo fiercely
-ujg, at fird falling on, that like a ojccedy Haivk, ho
^fjfoon over-gorges himfelf with his own Prey;
.jjj^nd after having taken a full draught of that
F 5
f?ndiai
fenlual delight, ieeing them continually ex- y
pcfed to his fight, and prollrate to his will, ^,
he comes to hate them as much after enjoy- , ,
ment, as he courted them before; for though
the Fire of Loveflill burns for enjoyment, yet
enjoyment ftill quenches, (if not extinguiflies) ®
the fire of Love, and he grows in a little time y
focloy'd, as he wants not only appetite to eat |
them, but almoft patience to fee them.
Then when tis top late, he accufes the un-
reafonablenefs of his prelancied delight, on
which he built his confidence of a laff ing plea- r'
fure, and allows it to be not only a great folly,
but fin againfl reafon, in any Man to believe,
that his fenfitive nature ought to be gratified,
when it propofesonly a bare fatisfaftion to the
Appetite, and cannot fecurc any durable hap-
pinefs or content to the reafon and judgment of ]
, mankind.
And this is really the cauf^, why fo many
of our young Gallants now adaysmake Mar-")!'"!
riage a kind of Paradox in Love; for oneofj*''
rhefe to obtain the Woman he is in Love with, jy
turns his Mifiris into a Wife, and then tis two i'™
to one, in a little time, to get rid of his latCj®^!
beautiful Millris, being Ihrunk into the thape^™
of a mcer Domeflick Wife, he parts forever
with his late Miftris, to get free from" his pre-
fent Wife; and note that tho many MiflrilTes
turn to Wives, yet no Wives ever turn to Mi-
finffes; Wife and Mifiris being of the famedif
fering
fane
tliei
sail
fa
^ feringnature as Water andWine/tis common
to drink Wine with Water, but of Water to
,Qj. make Wine to Drink, was never done but
once, and that by the firft Miracle of our Sa-
vicur ; fbthat in eflfeft they did but (eeming-
jjg ly agree, really to fall out, piece together, to
.[J, fall afunder, and Married to get rid of one
anothers Company.
And 'tis fbme ot thele unfortunate difagree-
ing Husbands that fays the Tranflator of
S. Paitls Epiflles, hath left out the word, tvel/^
in one of them; for where the Apoflle fays,//e
that gives in Marriage does well, it fliould have
been, Me that gives well in Marriage does well^
Jjj., for all know there are more bad Wives, than
l'. good ; and fure all believe, that S. Paul was
too wile to write or think, that any Man
' could do well in Marrying ill; fb that I am of
opinion, the fum of the Apoftles meaning by
faying. We that Marries well does well, but he
that abftainsfrom Marriage does better,\\2is\bmc
reference to that good plain Englijh laying,
That next to no W ife, a good Wife ts which
occafions my pitying the many Husbands that
have bad Wives, and the many Wives that
have ill Husbands, and to wilh thofe few,that
fancy they have good ones,as truly content in
"?,• their Marriages, as I am in my Refolution of
never Marrying; and I am fure none cande-
"f] ny, but that I have this advantage by the Bar-
gain, that 'tisimpoflible for me to meet a bad
E 4 Wife
Wife that does cot Marry, but 'tis very pofl- p
ble, and commoafor him that does.
Ifle
THE EIGHTH
DISCOURSE.
(lei
Maids Marrying for meer Love ?
!0Ol
.we
or only to pleaje their Parents Inch,
nationsy tho^ quite contrary to thei
oxpn. ' bia
1^ 5
Am againftMaidsMarrying for meer Love; Miii
becaufe they that Marry for meer Love, !b:
Marry in a manner for meer fancy, and fbto ioR
feaft their fenfual appetite on what they then ufioi
like, they often ftarve the body of what it will it'll
hereafter need;fortho'your fancy may tell you
that beauty great ftore makes Love a feaft,
yet truth can tell you 'tis too flender a Diet
to make a livelyhood on ; therefore in my
poor opinion, 'twould be a much wifer courfe
for Maids to make up their Marriages with a
good fhare,and large proportion of intereft and
conveniency, to mix with their Love-liking,
and prefect fancy, for the true and durable
content ofMarriages is fb founded on thefe twd I
greatPilIars,that without them Marriage-con- i
tent can never flourilh much or laft long; for a
good
and D r d"r S E S. «9
I®' good fufficienc Eftace of Land is as neceflary to
buy rich Clothes^ and maintain a handfom
-J plentiful way of Living, as the Foundation un-
' der the Ground, is to fupporc the fine Rooms
I above it.
p Beauty is a fine Flower, but it muft foon
V fade, and a young WomansLove fancy, may
often change, but can never long hold, but a
good Eftate may continue longer than you can
rj love or live, and lafl after you are dead, to
^ your Childrens Children to the worlds end 5
' but a meer naked Love match, is at very moft,
but a Tenant for Life, and ufually not near fo
long; a good Eftate can keep you in ficknefs,
and in health; but a Love faflned on meer
beauty or fancy, never can, for fuch a fancy-
Love Rill fadeth away with the beauty that oc-
cafions it, fince aflbon as the flower of beauty
begins to wither at the top, the admirers Love
begins to die at the root.
Yet indeed I cannot think it very Rrangc,
that young Maids Riould be deluded with the
delightful thoughts of pleafingand fatisfying
their prefenc beloved fancy, of enjoying the
Perfon of their inclinations, fincc in mofl young
Maids, their fancy, makes their Reafcn, and
not their Reafon governs their Fancy, and
therefore 'tis not to be wonder'd that they
fhould efteem it reafonable, that there is great
happineis, and that there will be long content,
in flich meer and bare love Marriages, becaufe
they
^ ^
90 c H A'JR A '1'i R
they never tried the fad experiment of fuch a l''
ralh hafty Marriage, and therefore their want
of experience, may well ferve for fome kind of |
excuie, to moderate their want of Confiderati-
on, but after a dear bought Tryal, too many P'
of them find by woful experience, that a Mar-
riage Love built on bare beauty, or meer fancy,
(which are much alike) can never ftem the l"/
I Tyde of the troubles of difappointments, and
' inconveniences, (the ufual IlTue of want,) that
commonly attend fuch hoc and hafty Love-
! Marriages, fince they cannot fancy fo well of
j t it, as they will find ill in it, yet there's lb great ^
{:; a Charm in this thing call'd a Husband, Maids K
reprefenting the Man as they would have him,
. without confidering what he really is, as poor lis t
' filly Maids dance about him as merrily, as they Itjii
i; do a Maypole on a Summers day, and one ®
: ^ Sifters fad and unhappy Marriage will not to
ii ferve the other for a Caution and Warning a- h
ij'. gainft it, becaufe (he fancies her wit is quick-
' er, her humor better, her beauty greater, and 'kil
her perfon more caking, fo eafily young t®
Maids believe what they defire, and therefore ®(
doubts not, but her Fate will be kinder, and Wc
her Husband better, than her Sifters; but 'tis "w
more than an even Lay, file will foon after her
Marriage, experimentally find, flie had more b
, faith in believing her good fortune, than Ihc ne*
had reafon for depending on it, fince Ihe had k
on chat account more danger to fear, than
hap-
an
J b hS U U U k S E S. 9.
happinefs to hope for, or at leafl; to rely
on.
Thus fuch Marriages, are to mofl: young
Maids, like the forbidden Tree in the midfl of
Paradife, pleafant to the Amorous Eye, and
therefore they will be tailing of it, tho they
are almoftfure to be ever after miferable by it,
by their abandoning, and ever after lofing
their great Virgin prerogative, the ApoftleFW
afcribes them, of being exempt from the trou-
blcs'of pleafing their Husbands, and being in
fubjedlion to them.
And fure none that's Mailer of common rea-
fon, can deny but a Virgins life is much happi-
er, becaufe more innocent than any other, and
as 'tis much nearer the bleiled ilate of Innocen-
cy, in this World, fo alio 'tis much more fe-
cure as to the felicity of the next, efpecially in
(fjl, this one particular. That 'tis much eafier for a
« Virgin to keep her felf vertuoufly Chail, than
jj« either a Married Woman, or Widow; becaufc
both natural reafon, and common experience
'p teaches us this plain Philofophy, that 'tis
llijjjj much harder to abilain from a pleafure one has
often tailed, than 'tis to live without a-delight
jjjJ, one has never enjoy'd, it being fuch a certain-
ty as none can deny, that 'tis lefs difficult to
keep ripe Fruit that's fair and found, and was
never touch'd, than 'tis to keep any fuch after
phey have been fo.
Therefore
Therefore in a word, you Virgins that are fo {>
much in the State of happy freedom, as not to 1
be yoak'd in fuch a fort of Marriage, and to a
the pinching troubles of want, (for fancy can t(
only feed the mind, not the body) and poffi: d
bly to the fottilh humors and impertinent fol- »
lies of a jealous Husband, for want is apt flill fi
to create jealoufie. I fay if you Virgins truly ^
defire to continue in your freedom and happy ilii
Life, never allow Men to become your Ma- t
fters, by (wearing they are your humble fer- ie
vants, and by calling you their Queens, make
you their Subjects, for by Marriage you make k
your Servant your Mailer, and from being J,
Miftris of your felf, you become little better fid
than a Slave to your Husband. Itiii
Therefore as an Antidote againft this mifc- \
ry, I lhali advife all young Virgins to carry flill Qii
this Memorandum in their minds. That tho hi
beauty is flill taking, yet 'tis never lafling; k
fvveet, but frail, and that all Husbands love |5tl
Sovereignty much, but few own beauty long, law
VI cfpecially in the domeflick face of a Wife. iiti
And becaufe'tis great pity thefe fort of tin- ®ic
happy Marrying Maids, fhould have no com- ini
pa.nions to folace them in their fad penitential Vti£
flate of Mourning, give me leave to introduce \k
fome Married Women into their difmal Socie- |tli!
ty; for as many Maids make themfelves mife- i]
table by Marrying for meer Love, fo many are .id
alfo made unfortunaic in Marrying meerly to isit
i! • pleafe ;
b. —L
tJKl plcafe their Parents, not at all to fatisfie them-
Stton felves;for really moft Parents make it more their
iJnii concern to match Fortunes than Children, or
ticyt to fuit inclinations or ages, when 'tis but a kind
d poi of Reverfing Nature it felf, it being as feafible
Wf. to unite two contraries, and make Fire and
SJptI Water agree, and Maj and Jamary meet, as
jostni by the Magick of Matrimony to make a very
ilkp old Man, anda very young Woman to be but
0111)1: one flelh and temper; for youcliful beauty to
loililst the mind, is as cold old Age to the body;
Heat penitratcs the pores of the body eafily,
pjE becaufe they expatiate themfelves to receive
oaila it, but when Cold approaches and attacks it,
ttlete prefently it clofes, as being contrary and averfe
to it.
itliiin Yet many Parents think to deal with their
iQnjl Childrens Marriages, as they do with their
%i: Fruit Trees, and think they can Graft humors
jtllj and inclinations between Husband and Wife,
jjdi j as they Graft different kinds of Fruits on one
jiiijlr another, and by their Grafting and binding
them together, they make their differing Na-
turcs to become but one by Marriage, but upon
,^0 ferious Confideration, which does not always
attend Marriage; they will foon find, that
the Minifler can only joyn their hands, but'tis
the free-will offering of the heart, that can
only unite and Graft their affeftions together,
and this free-will offering is to be led by Love,
111 not drawn by the Cords of Wedlock, for the
' Will
94 C H A K A C T E R S
Will is a free faculty, and confequently can-
not be forcibly determined to any add, but yet ^
is capable of admitting perfwafions, and in-
ducements, and fo may be by them inclined,
but without them cannot be forced. ^
And therefore tho Maids ought not to Mar- .
ry without their Parents confent, yet they
ought not to be compell'd againft their own;
'Tis true indeed that large Eftates can produce
a plenty of Livelyhood, but 'tis as true, that ®
Content only can produce happy Living, for i"'
Content and Riches prove often to be no a kin
to one another 5 but Content and Happinefs
are Twins, and ever infeparable friends, and ^
like Water and Ice, one flill makes the other. ^
Content is certainly the greateft worldly
happinefs, for it makes the poor Rich with it> *
and the Rich poor without it, and very com- ®
mon experience tells us that many poor Men ^
are made happy by their unrich Wives, and
many wealthy heirefles are made miferable and
unfortunate lay their tich Husbands, for 'tis ®
not much but enough that fatisfies, and the
Weekly Bills of Mortality inform us, that more i®®
die with Surfeits, than flarvc with Hunger, the ;
true Meafures of Contentment not confiding
in quantity, but quality, for many have much j"-''
that have not enough, and many have enough P
that have not much; fome young Women being J'®
corri-pofed of fuch diftempered Hidropick fea-
vcrilh humors, as there's no quenching the
Third j
■yj
R S K S.
95
lytj, Thirft of their hoc ambitious defires; others
butjj are fo temperately minded, and healthfully
jndu wife, as a moderate and indifferent kind of con-
lncliu' dition fatisfies them, and thofe are happy ,in
fuch a moderation to a high degree; Concent
being the Throne of happinefs, the very top
yjt ^ of our ambition, and the end and accomplilli-
jij ment of all our defires, the fole want of which,
is like that of wanting health, which is fuffici-
ent to unpleafure all our other enjoyments, in
a wordjContent is of fuch an obliging generous
Nature, and of fo univerfal value, as it fur-
niflicth us with every thing, that either our
real neceflicy wants, or our vain defires fancy.
And as Content is thus pleafing, fo difcon-
I tent is little lefs unpleafing, and therefore I
cannot but highly blame and Cenfare fuch Ty-
ranical ill natur'd Parents, as becaufe they like
lllC, IE
fuch a Mans fortune, therefore they will make
their Child Marry fuch a ones pcrlon, tho'cis
as odious to her fight, as pleafing to her fathers
JT Covetous humor, and fo to fatisfic his will,
muft force her inclinations to Marry him, tho
. utterly againft her own. Indeed 'tis fuch kind
J of forc'd Marriages that drives young Women
'ft into a double evil, and that of the worft fort
*• too, being thofc of Perjury, and T reachery; for
how can you make it lefs than Perjury, in a
young Woman, to make afolemn Vow in the
face of the Congregation to Love that Man her
whole Life, whom flie knowslhccannot Love
a piece
'liaieP
96 C H A R A C T k R b'
a piece of a day, nay not fo rrtuch as that very
time of her Life, llie is vowing to Love him, j
till death them depart. I
And furely there is no lefs Treachery in
fuch a Marriage Vow, that mull be akin to
that black one of Judas, who under pretence to [
ki[i his Lord and Mafler^ brought a hand of Sol-
d'ters to feize him, fo averfe forced Marriages
under pretence of long continuing friendlhip
and kindnefs, by lhaking hands, but not joyn-
ing hearts, do often bring Bands of difcontents ,f i
and miferies to each others Lives, and Liber- jllj
ties.
Therefore to conclude this Difcourfe, my
opinion is that Parents may choofe their
Daughters wealthy Husbands to live with, but
'tis only themfclves that can chufe Husbands to
be delighted in, and therefore thofe Maids do
well that Marry with their Parents liking, and
they do ill, that Marry againft their own<
'hfi
Hit;
m
l<di[
6r
THE
Id,
i\
and D I O U R S E S. 97
beryt THE NINTH
ikini
«* DISCOURSE,
MfJl '
hsi^.
iidt -Agdinft Widows Marrying,
not)op
T Tt 7 Hen I confider truly, and refle£t leri-
' VV oufly,how many Widows have made
, themlelves miferable by Marriage, and how
few make themldves happy by Marrying, me-
thinks it fhould be nowas needlefs a Task to
m diffwade fucii fromMarrying,as toadvifethem
''Ij'f not to eat again of that Difh they came juft
from furfeicing on; for fure fhe that makes her
felf unhappy by a fecond Marriage, delerves
'®''' as much her own mifery, and merits as little
others pity, as theMan that Ifeals again after
having been burn in the hand, does the Gal-
lows: for a repeated fault is a twofold Crime,
and deferves a double punifhment.
I know I need not mind the Reader of the
old and common fable, of two Women that
j went affoon as they died,to S. Peter to get ad-
" mitrance into Paradife ; the firR alTured him,
that her Husband was fitch a devilifh wicked
ill natured Man, that he made her life a kind
of Hell on Earth,upon which account S. Peter
G thought
yo ^ n n.
. i
thought it reaibnabie, that fince (he had fiii- 01
fer'd a HcU in this World, Qiefhould not en- fia
dure another in the next, and fo admitted he/1 1
into Faradife. jia
The other Woman obferving this', thought g
fhe had a double Key and Ticket,for fhe was
not only tormented with one, but two bad
wicked crofs-grainM Husbands, which ren-
der'd her life moft miferable : but S. Peter an- i
fwer'd her,that fince fhe was fb very fimple as ||
not to think one bad Husband enough, but fhe
mufl: have two, he bid her be gone, for Para-
dife was no place for fools; indeed that Widow qj
murt be extravagantly foolifh, and unreafo-
nable, that did not think the mileryofone
bale Husband fufficient, but fhe muft try
the experiment of a lecond.
I contefsjl cannot at all agree in opinion with
that Wr iter who lays,a woman is but an imper-
fe£lCreature whilfl: Ihe is without aHusband;
but had he faid a Widow was not come to her
full perfedion of milery \ill fhe had one;! fan-
cy he had given a truer Charabter, and taken
a more juft meafure of mofl: Widows lives
that Marry , fince common experience may
allure all Wives and Widows, that there are
generally ten bad Husbands for one good one,
and I believe there are fewW idows in our age,
that are lb per fe£lDi lei pies of Seneca's wifdom,
as to extract fatisfaCtion out of milery, it be-
ing an Apoftolical vertue to be fatisfied, and
con-
^^
contented in, whatfocver condition it pleafeth
God to place one to.
But I am rather of the belief, that a young
beautiful Widow, that leads a ftrift vertuous
unmarried life, leads a kind ot Miraculous {
one, in as much as Ihe being born a Sobjedt
to the Law of Nature, and to the Luftful frail-
ties of it, having not only tailed, but probably
delighted in them, and yet can contain her
felf fo in the bounds of fuch a vertue and pious
Mortification, as to be fo much Millris of her
felf, and of her own youthful temper, and in-
clinations, as to refill the prefiing temptations
of young handfom Men with an unmoveable
vertuous conftancy; fuch young Widpws do
really live in this world, as the Papifis fay the
J^ms do in their Nunneries, That they live in
the flejhf as if they had no bodies.
And fure fince it cannot be denied, but a
vertue that overcomes the highefl difficulties,
mc- fierceft inclinations, and mod youthlul palfi-
315;'^ ons, muft needs excel all others; then it can-
not be in the lead doubted, but that a young
handfom Widow that leads aretir'd, drift and
unmarried life, mud needs in that kind furpafs
tte: all other Women, becaufe flic praftifes more
looi?' the vertue of continence than any of them can,
I mean as to the outward mark of our know-
ledge, fince a Widow that lives in a true con-
formity to fuch a drift pious life refembles
mod, and approaches clofed to the heavenly
. Qv one,
"X
lOO
C R^A G T'E R
one, which muft needs be the beft as coming i"
neareftto perfection, for flie declines the na- ^
rural commetceof thei3ody, to enjoy the bet- ll"
ter and Spiritual Contemplation of the Soul.
And'tis moft certain the more Women keep ™
tliieir thoughts and defires from worldly de-
lights arid vanities, the more their minds will ®
be fortified againft them, and the more ready
they'll be to embrace true felicity. . ' |w
We read in Scripture that the Womans fub-
jeCtion to the Man, "was laid on her as a pe- J
nance and punilhment for her difobedierice to
her God. Truly mofl of the young Married
Sparks of our Age, are very aCfive in obferving s
Gods pleafure herein, yet not at all on theac- F
count ot the Almighty s defignjbut the worlds
praCfice, which is for fuch Sparks to make ^
Marriage a punilhment to the W oman, as much
as they can, that is as much asfome Wives will;
for ferz'C, honour, and rhey,2XQ grown but wordS
ofcourfe, which all Women muft repeat altcf
the Minifter at Marriage, but few will perform
after they are Married, and their promife of
obedience till death them do part, is feldom
in their thoughts as long as they live.
Indeed I have known fome young handfoni |Mt
Widows, who have lov'd their own Repurati- ifi
on and their Husbands Memory, fo much ;
as to continue fome years in a ftriCt deep |ifi
Mourning, as well in their LifeasDrefs. And '
I have alfo known other Widowsj of the wild H
brisk
1)1
■ 7 ^ c- O tr R S E S. I o I
li: brisk London brood, that liave not fo much
hen Complemented their Blisbands death, as to
bek hold out one year a Widovvs Lite, tho contra-
:So, ry to the Cuftom of the Country, and the com-
nkc tnon Rules ot decency and civility,
lly [ And as llie wing fo little a concern for a Hus-
3(isr band is very unbecoming, and highly immo-
Kis deft, not to fpeak worfe; fo on the other hand
overmuch grief and dcfpair, are both impru-
dent, and irreligious.
isi> But I need not fpeak much of this overabun-
iiai dant Mourning for a Husband, fince 'tis a
\|iE diftemper of mind, very few Widows of our
i'lSf; age areinclin'd too, and therefore not in dan-
ger of being infefted with ; for moft Widows
[,;g can tell us that they arc fo well read in the
tjr brave Roman Story, who though they had no
jj- other bounds to their afpiring hopes, than the
•jfg; Conqueft of the whole world,yet they ftill pla-
ced their glory and praife, as much in fuffering
well, as in doing fo, faying, as they ought not
Ip to he overmuch esalteel hy profperity, Jo they
r»:i to he too much deprejfed or cafl down
ly adverjity, but to obfcrvc the Golden Rule of
Mediocrity in both Cafes, and therefore 'tis
lijjj not ill Wife-like, but bravelike, tofuf-
fer all lofles with Courage and Patience.
- And'tis from thefe Conftderations that ma- |
nyofour fine young say brisk Widows fay,
' (•,: Lhey ejleem more the Phylofophers Wit, than his
Wifdom^ \yho being in, great affliction, and
jg ' \ '' G 3- weeping
\
lOZ
C H A p. A C T E R S
weeping molt bitterly for the death of his W ife,
one of his friends told him, his crying, could i
do neither him, nor her any good ; Therefore jfe
faid the Philofopher I Cry. i
But this is a kind of doleful Logick, that oi
fuits ill with the fprightly gaiety of our fine |a
young Widows, and therefore it muft be need- ii
lefsas well as troublefom to mind them of it, tk
it being a very unmodiih dodrin, to preach h
to fuch young Widows, that becaufe their ffi
Husbands arc out of the world, therefore |Ie
they ought to live as if they were not in it, m
and bury themfelves alive in a ftridt folitary In
retirement, which they will tell you favours i
more of great folly, than true wifdom ; fince k
no Woman by her Matrimonial Vow, is enga- i®!
ged to Love her Husband longer than till tf:
death them do part; and indeed asWives now
go, I think 'ris very extraordinary to meet one jix
that truly loves her Husband half fo long. In jn
a word, Ihe that gives her Husband a more la-
fling Love than ihe promifed, is generoufly a
kind, but Ihe that pays him as much as fhe in- ifjj
gaged for, is truly juft. on;
Next 'tis moll certain that all cxtreams are
bad, and therefore Widows ought to avoid g;
them on both fides; either by fhewing too little %
a Concern, or too violent a Grief,for their Hus- o[
bands death; I know I need not travel your
thoughts fo far as the Eafi'Jndies^ to fliew you jj;
the barbarous examples of Womens love to ikj,
' their
D c^^^~s~Ers;
their dead Husbands bodies, by facnficing
themfelves to the Devil, by burning them-
felves alive, foon after their Husbands death;
we have examples enough in the Hiflory of
our Neighbouring Princes, of their Wives bar-
barous Cruelty committed againft their o\Mi
Lives, for their Husbands lofs of theirs; (but
then do not miftake me, fo as to think, I be-
lieve there are any fuch kind of fond loolifh
Wives in our age,) as Adymond Queen of
Siveedland, who, when Ihe heard her Husband
waskill'd by theDa^es^hid Ihe would foon folr
low him, and prefently ftabb'd her felf. I might
name you many more of this bloody Nature,
but furely fuch kind of Tragical examples are
to be look'd upon, but as the vile and wicked
efFedls of madnefs or a devilifli defpair, and
not at all the motions of a pious vertuous love,
fince good Wives may lliew their kindnefs,
without fhedding their blood, and may mourn
heartily, without dying Cruelly ; for fuch un-
natural deaths utterly deftroy that great Chri-
ftian vertue, of well regulating their pafll-
ons.
And certainly no Widow flands more en-
gaged to her Husbands memory, cither by the
Laws of outward Civility and good manners,
or by the inward effeds of true love and real
cfteem, than to pbferve thofe kinds of mea-
fures, and degrees of mourning for their Hus-
bands; which are ufual according to the rules
G 4 of'
104 C H A R A C T E R S
of cuftom and decency, which is to live a
ftrift religious and unmarried life, for fome i'i
confiderable time, or longer as fome Women U
do; and among thofe many who continue fo to a
the end of their days,and fo are Widows indeed c
according to S, Pauls phrafe, and fo deferve his
charadter of honour. And among thofe lean- Irf
not omit a juit commendation of the three "i
moft Excellent vertuous Ladies, and kind ina
Sifters, who live together near London^ I need |1)'
not name them, becaufe I am fure, there are
not three Widow Sifters of their high Quality,
great Vertue, and clear Reputation, that live
together 'n\2L\{ EuglaMcl', for which as they have
the juft admiration and praifes of all true Lo-
vers of Vertue; fo IwiQi all Widows would
ftrive to imitate'their religious example, that
fo like them, they might enjoy comfort of true
devotion and felicity upon earth, as an earnefl;
of moreblefled comforts and happinefs they do
expedt in the other World.
And who by leading fuch a cbnflant religi-
ous, and unmarried Life, the world muft plain-
ly fee, that fuch Widows have no particular
fondnefs for any Man in the world, fince their
dear Husbands are out of it, and that they do
flill ilicw a conflant affedtion, real efleem and
memory of their Husbands vermes and repu-
ration; and by.aparticular kindnefs continued
to all their Husbands Relations and Friends,as
much as if they had been now actually living,
and
and Am
and could be made fcnfible of the effedls of
fe their good or ill nature towards them. I fay fuch
OK a vertuous and difcreet carriage in Widows is
e(o: a moft clear demonftration that Loves do not
nd; expire with their Husbands Lives; and cer-
tainly fuch an affedfion mufl be more real, and
tk Icfs byafled, as to all appearances, than the love
of any living Wife can pofliblebe; fince that
lb may only look counterfeit, and be difguifed,
l;;; by wearing a Mask of felf intereft, or defigil
m. rather than of true affedion or value, and
|a: may be reckoned on the account, of living »
k in good efteem or reputation as to the world,
1:1,10 or be counterfeited for an outward feeming
[[ii;L kindncfs to her Husband, tho ihe has no real
iK inward one, in order to live at peace and quiet
iiE at home, both for her Childrens good,and for
[oir, her own and families eafe.
jE But a Widow that continues (as I have
faid) confonant kindnefs to her Husbands mc-
mory and Relations, and lives in the Rate of
,31,iT a private and religious widowhood; fuch a 1
j[l|5 one can expedfno return, or hope for any praife |
or advantage,, bur from the jufl commendati- j
0^ on of her vertue while fhe lives, or indeed the !
more certain comfort and afTurance of her eter-
nal happinefs, when flie comes to die.
But mortifying Difcourfes of this nature, I
am fure mud be Hr from making any agreeable i
mufick to the fine young Widows, but it may
, as well as \
ufelcfs I
i," be found harfli, and unpleafant
io6 C H A R A C T E R S
ufelefs and unliking; many of the fine gay
young Widows, making the day of their Hus-
bands death, the joyful Birthday of their own f
freedom.
And there are few of thefe brisk witty fort ''''
of W'tdovoi chat are not fo great Pkilofophers
in the Politicks of Marriage, and fo perfedtly
read in all parts of Scripture tending to that
point, as to be wifely able to extradt 6ut of it, <
the vertue of Patience, and to poflefs it in fo
high a degree, and great meafure, as to be ™
able to raile to themfelves fatisfaftory Argu- ^
ments, of all fizes, degrees, and qualities what- If
foever, to arm themfelves againft the lofs of ^
a Husband of any kind ; be he good or bad, KS
poor or rich, fo as to render his death at leafl; iilt
eafie, ifnot pleafing, by arguing and reafon- sis
ing with themfelves after this manner :
If my Husband was good and vertuous, and 'afi
made a holy end, fuitableto his religious life,
fure I ought not to mourn for it, but rejoyce roi
at it, that he is gone to Heaven, and that I te
have in a manner half my felf there before-
hand; and therefore it mult argue want of ini
Charity, kindnefs and good nature to lament lit
and mourn for his happinefs, in living and dy- linil
ing fo well. , b
if my Husband was wicked, lewd, and pro- iiliE
phane, I have a double reafon to rejoyce for
his death; firft, that the world is rid of fo lot
bad a Man, and I of fo U1 a Husband, and am b
nO;'
and D 1 S13 (YITWS^ S. 107
no more oblig'd to lie every night, withfo
h much wickednefsinmybofom,andthatwearc
:o«: now no more one fleih, who were fo far from
being of one mind, and humor; and I have
I fe alfo this fecond means of extracting this hea-
ifk venly advantage by it, that having experiment
ifei; ed theflavilh mifery of ferving the Creature,
0 tk I am now, or at leaft ought to be, the more rea-
ito[[ dy and willing to dedicate all my remnant of
ilij! Life, only to the ferv^ce of my Creator, whofe
itol fervice is flill perfect freedom, and everlafting
Air, felicity.
stk If my Husband was poor and needy, I have
IjAj reafon to be glad he is intirely delivered from
oife the great milery of want, and that his poverty
jt; is dead and buried with him, for none ever
m; feels want in the Grave.
But if my Husband died Rich, I have great
reafon to rejoyce that he has left me fo, and
jji; has given me by his death, what he dc-
(;.( nied me all his life, the incontroulablc Trea-
jil; fure of his Wealth ; and that I have now the
,|^ range of the whole Kingdom, to ramble over,
jjj. and fpend it after what kind of manner, and
with what fort of Company, as I fancy moft,
and lovebefl; and by being a Widow I am
become theperfcCt Emprefs of my own Will,
jj, infteadof being confin'd at home a Subject to
my Husbands, and fure none can relifh with j
•j. more gufto, the eafe and liberty, and the many
pleafures of freedom, than fhe that's newly i
deliYer'd from the bondage of a Marriage con-
finement, and therefore what Seneca faid of
Ycrtue, that therms no Paffion, or Affli^ion in
the World, that Vertue has not a Remedy for:
The fame may be faid in reference to mod
young Widows love to their Husbands, let
their paflionate kindnefs for them be feeming-
ly never fo great, whilft they live, yet they will
be fure to find Remedies tor their overmuch
mourning for their deatlj.
And therefore I fliajl advife Husbands never
«o Antidate their trouble, by fearing that
their death will produce a long fadnefs in their
Wives, at the common rate Marriage-Love
now goes, there's no great fear of it; fince in
moil Wives, their good Jointure-Rents, out-
weigh their Love-fighs, or at lead Counter-
ppife all their formal Mourning; for there is
^eally, fo little pure Love in many of our
Marriages now adays, as Husband and Wifes
l^ovp, is but of the fame nature of that of
great Sovereign Princes, vvhofe Love is but
meet Intered ; and a Husbands death to ma-,
ny of our Wives, is become as Repentancefor
Sin, which cannot come fo foon or late, but it
dill brings Comfort with it.
And now led you may take my fpeaking
againd Widows Marrying, to be but a kind
of raillyingDifcourfc, fft only to entertain, but
not to convince; and that my reafons againd
Widows Marrying are but meer Romantick,
pleafan!;
• - V
pleafant to be read, but needlefs to be believ'd;
I will wave my own weak reafonings, and
quote you feme Scripture ones, that feem not
to favour Widows Marrying, but rather the
contrary, to continue as they arc, and for
their encouragement to it, propounds to them
great advantages by it, which are thefe. The
firft is o]jitoii\\QOlclTeflament, Lev.22.r3. If
a Priejls Daughter he Married, Jhe muft rot eat
of the Offerings of holy Things, hut if the
PrieJlsDaughter he a Widow^ffe may eat as in her
Touth, that is, as if (he had heen never Married
and was a Maid^ which was a priviledge Women
had by living Widows under the Mojaick Law,
and which would not have it feems heen granted^
had Jhe heen made unclean hy a fecond Marriage.
And S. Paul fpeaking of the happinefs and
advantages Virgins have over Married Wo-
men, gives this as one of his principal rcafons,
that they live free and exempt from the cares
of obferving and plcafing their Husbands, and
being in fubjcdion to them. Andfure Widows
enjoy at leafl as much, if not more, on this ac-
count than Virgins can; for doubtlefs it muft
be a far greater degree of pleafure, and fatis-
faftion tothofethat have caft off tlie Yoke of
an ill Marriage, than it can be to thofe that
never wore it; as a fick Man that recovers his
health muft needs enjoy more pleafure by it,
than another can in his health that was never
fick; and really in my opinion the Penance
of
■
no c H"A K A (J T k R ^ '
: ' of an ill Marriage ought to be the beft Retne-
' dy, to make a Widow well favour the happinefs ^
of an unmarried life, and the moll: perfwafive
Argument to make her continue fo. wii
I lhall further obferve, that the fame Apoflk tfti
in his firft Epiftlc to Timothy, chap. 5-. vcrf 5. i
Seems to divide Widows into two forts, the
good, and the bad; the good he Charafteri- ®
fes with the Title of being Widows indeed^ and
gives us this fign to know them by, She that
trafteth in God, and continueth in Prayers, and
Supplications night and day. This is the holy *lii
Mark, you may know a godly Widow by, 'Mati
• and this is the Widow that the Apollle calls Itli
i; a Widow indeed^ and orders Timothy to pay
!; them great honour as fuch. icu
lam fure thefe are not at all a kin to the ib
V race of proud brisk ranting Widows that are ft
i , in, and about London, who abftain not from ofor
i ! Marriage upon the account of any retired reli- toad
; / gious Inclinations, or upon any want of deCres ktc
to Marry,(for molt of thefe Widows defire more Tory
Husbands than Husbands defirethem)for they jot!
only abftain from Marriage becaufe they can- ft
not get Husbands to fuit their fancy, for they ft
muft Marry fuch as are high enough to Match ,tioo
their Quality, Rich enough to maintain their feci
Extravagancies, and fools enough to be go- loidj
vern'd by them; but fuch a fort of Abftinencc tor I
from Marriage, fprings rather from great pride, k
than true devotion; and fo proves rather a Jtl
Penance
1; Penance co their body, than proceeds from
k any principle of Vertue in their mind,
it; The bad fort of Widows the Apoftle brands
with the foul marks, of he'mgnot only idle,hut
f tatlers and lufie hodks wandrtngfrom Houfe to
a! Houfe, which among the London Ladies is cal-
J,J led Vifiting; thefe fort of Widows S. ?aul or-
ife ders Timothy to refufe, and not to admit into
the number, and feems to give this reafon for
(i, it; for when a Widoiv waxeth wanton againji
V Chriji, tha; is againft holinefs, fhe will Marry,
tk (where by the by, take notice Widows, that
)r Marrying is a fign of waxing wanton) and next,
[ji if that young Widows had not been naturally
tdj inclin'd to this fortofwantonnels,the Apoflle
would never have given this ftrict charge
lit; about it, hy otd^nng Timothy not to admit a
in; Widow into the number under fixty, the Wife
jtij of one Husband, not two, which in cfTeft was
[jif; to admit no Widow, but fuch a one as refolv'd
never to Marry; for fure the Apoftle might
very well conclude, that a Widow that did
j,[U not Marry before fixty, would never Marry
,.j(. after; it being an unfit and undecent Age, as
[(jr exceeding all the bounds of gravity and difcrc-
jjif tion, being an age altogether uncapable to an-
jj. fwer one of thofe ends Marriage was chiefly
ordained for, bringing Children into the v/orld;
for S. Paul in the fame Verfe, Where he will
that young Women fhould Marry, he orders them
'I to bring Children, I Tim. y. 14. So that 'tis
1
t
I IX
C 71 ACT E'R
dear, chat a Widow ac fixcy ought not to IVfcr-
ry, becaufea Widow at that Age cannot bjlng
forth Children; and tho Iconlefs a Widojlac
fixty may with her great Wealth buy a y^ng.
Husband, ( for Gallants are ftill to be haqfor
Mony, J yet 'tis impolhble that her j^ars
Ihould ever breed a Child; for though her
Mony may bring her a Husband to Bed, yet
all the Midwives in Chriftendom can never
bring her fo.
And now I have given you my opinion as
to old Widows, I lhall here prefentmy advice
to the young ones, which is, inftead of ventu-
ring on the great uncertainty of meeting a good
Husband, you will difpofe your felves unto
the fervice of a good God, where you will be
fure to enjoy true content in this world, (which
is more than you will befure to do in a Huf-
band,J and eternal felicity in the next, in fucli
a perfed flate ofblirs, asyou will have nothing
to hope, or fear, wilh, or defire; for Ihe that
(211
V
has all Ihe defires, can have nothing to willi. jjj|
S. Paul fays, Jhs that liveth in pleafure, is
Pead while Jhe liveth; therefore, all Widows
will do well to reflect ferioufly on thevaft dif- iij.
ference, of living in vanity, fin, and pleafure, .j,'
and that of living vertuoufly, and in a true ^
love, and holy fear of God ; and foto be lift-
ed in the bleffed number of thole that S.Paul
calls Widows indeed, who continue in fupplication '
and prayer, night and day.
To
lic£
itf
uid
icj
5.~ i ^
To conclude, this is the vaft difference be"
' tween the Widow that liveth in vainPleafure,
i andihe that liveth in the true fear of God ;
^ The one is dead whilfl{he liveth^ and the other
I {hall live eternally after {he is dead.
b
Ij I
THETENTH
« DISCOURSE,
Againji keeping of MISSES.
1 TV ] O W I have finiflied my Dilcourfe on the
i'f unpleafingSnbjeftjOfmanyWidows mi-
lii lerieS by making (econd Marriages ; I fhali
,13- change that doleful Scene, and now bring on
3® the Stage the gay, brisk, modifh vice of keep-
l)!i= ing Mtffes; a fin grown lb in fafhion, as the
IK great cuftom of the fafhion, has overgrown
ifrs thefenfeof the fin; being a vice fb common,
ft: as its commonnefs makes many forget 'tis a
[ii: vice,nay fome of your youngAtheiftical Gen-
i!:J tiemen are (b far from condemning the finful-
ji8 nefs of it, as they pretend to juftifie its pra-
jk £iice as not finful; but for this fort ofiSatanifls^
Si they are only fit to be fhutup withai^fd? Crofs^
and a Do/nine miferere upon their Doors, that
they may be branded fo for the plague of their
H impiety,
TT
R A C T E R S.
as to keep in their infection to ®
themlelves, for thele are fleering dire^ily be- ^
fore the Wind, with a full fail to Hell.
There are another fort,that fleer almofl the jsilii
fame courfe, but with a fide wind ; and the' P
thefo are of very wicked principles, yet they p
are not of fo profane and debauched a kind, as
the former ; for theie own,that keeping a Mils
is ill,but they hold it a lefs evil to keep a good-
humour'd handfom Mifs, than to live with an
old ugly ill-natured Wife ; for fay they, one
need keep a Mifs no longer than he likes and
loves her ; but one is ftill bound to live with
a crofs-grain'd Wife, though he is fb far from
loving or liking her, as he hates her; but this
Argument ca:rriesno force, but in wickednefs,
being indeed as very fenfelefs and ridiculous,
as its maintainers are highly impious and ex-
travagant; fince a Man by living with his ugly j
Crofs W ife,may thereby often meet occafions '
to exercifo his patience, which may prove a |
vertue in fome kind ; but by keeping a Mifs, ■
he can never by it exercife a vertue in any
kind ; befides a Man by living with his Wife,
tho' never fo deform'd, does but what he J
ought; but a Man by keeping a Mifs, the'
never fo handfom, does what he ought not,
fince in fo doing he offends his God.
There are another fort of vicious young
Sparks, who you will eafily believe have not 'N
attained to years of diforction by their pre-
tending
■ pre- pw
iding J
and D tT COURSES,
i6i tending to Argue, that 'tis not a greater ill to
p keep a handfom Mifs, than for a Widow to
Marry a bad Husband, but in my opinion this
admits of no comparifon; for fure no Widow
If can be fo mad, as to Marry a Man, thatlhe is
tfe fure beforehand will be a bad Husband. But
ffli all Men that keep Mifles know beforehand,
i\ that by fo doing they a£t a great fin. A Widow
l^i^by Marrying an ill Husband, only commits a
[li; fault againfl: her own content, but he that keeps
a Mifs, offends againfl his Makers command;
■g; which mull needs be very much worfe, fince an
(nill Husband can only difturb the body, but a
jij-fcandalous fin may deftroy the foul.
[j;;; But yet tho a Widows Marrying an ill Hus-
....band, cannot pofTibly be of fo ill a nature as a
iji^Mans keeping a Mifs, yet it may probably be
of a much more lafting trouble, fince an ill
jij, Husbands life is like to lafl much longer, than
a fair Mifles beauty; for we all know 'tis very
" cuflomary, for Mifs keepers love, to end with
J their Mifles beauty, fince their beauty only
makes the love.
In a word, I have known ill men that have
j^made kind Husbands, fo that 'tis pofTible a
r Widow may Marry an ill Man, and not be
iiniferable; but'tis impoffible a Man can keep
§ a Mifs, and not be wicked.
'Tis a common Proverbial faying. That a
''■Wife is a necejfary Evil, which I fancy, is not
''''to be taken in the fenfe moil do, that Men can-
H ^ «rvl-
not live without them ; but becaufe Men are 'fe
ftill bound to live with them ; for whiiftthey (Jj
are Wives, tho far Irom being good ones, yet do
poor Husbands are oblig'd to lerve out their m;
time of bondage, according to agreement for diij
letter for xvorje, till death them do part. But
now for the new Mode of protempore Wives, ml;
c2i\[Qd Miffes, they are generally look'd upon,®
by our Gallants, and keepers of them, as only
Tenants at will, to MensPerfons, and Purfes; bj
being tied to them in no other manner, than |fj
we are to reading Romances, on which we iCjn
may begin when we will, and leave off when
we pleale, for we are not oblig'd to read longer
in them, than they fuit cur humor, and pleafejgjji
our fancy.
Indeed Milles are now become in moll great
Towns, (efpecially London) to Gentlemen, as, ^
Books arc in Stationers Shops to Scholars, wherejajjj
they may pick and chufe,Read fometimes thisjjtj
kind of Books, another that fort, all, orany,^,j
and hire them by the Day, Month or Year;td5„
and when they have read them over as oft as
ill
they pleafe, and have no longer delight in
them, or farther ufe of them, they may return
them, and leave them where they found them,
and there's no harm done, they lying ready
expos'd for the next Courteous comer.
Millcs in Towns are like Free booters
Sea, no Purchafe, no Pay, they are never ouc^,
of their way, (except to Heaven) fo they canj^jj,
bull '
but meet a prize ink; indeed our fine young
Gallants are wife in this particular, (but pray
^i)' do not ask me in what other left you puzlc
me,) and this their wifdorn confifts only in
® chufing of two evils the lead; for they will keep
' ^ Mifies which is ill, but they will not be bound
to keep them longer than during pleafure,
which is lefs ill than a longer time; that is,
they will be tied to Mifies by no other Law,
if" than that dearly beloved one of fweet variety,
MifiTes being to be us'd but like flight fummcr
li®' Garments, which are only ufeful in the youth-
off' ful Spring or hot Summer Seafon of Mens
111 Lives, and may without much Ceremony, or
^\- great difficulty be put on, or cad off; ('twere
well if the fin of ufing them could be fo too)
iiof;: lightly worn, and cheaply bought; MifTes be-
I;®;; ing but a kind of Summer Fruit, for prefent
jfti eating, not long keeping, for their beauty will
laiJs never hold out long after a hoc blad, or
|,((: burning clap of thunder, and their Bodies are
lOif often withered and rotten before they are near
[li. ripe, in fubdance and perfeftion, as many of
Jei;:: the Merchant Adventurers in that Trade, can
tap: tell you by woful experience,
lyii: And therefore young Men do wifely in not
ju;:, binding themfelvcs to them, in Health, and
Sicknefs, for then they are not only ufelefs but
Ijdft: chargeable; not till death them do part, but till
.(J, their MifTes beauties does decay, or their Pafli-
jji; on change; forMifs-Love mud dill be Paffio-
H 3 nate,
Ii8 C H A a A C X E R S
nace, becaule it ceafeth to be Love, when it
ceafethtobe Paffionate, having no other mo- ye
tive CO cherifh and maintain it; and therefore oi
ufually fuch MensLove, expires aflbon as their
Mifles beauty breaks, or may be fooner, if he mc
be taken with a more agreeable obje6t, for his af
prefent fancy and conveniency; for though
moll; of our young Gallants Love conftantly, aji
yet few are conftant in their Amours; lor the fy
they are (till Loving, 'tis Women more than
a Woman; for confidering they are only Con- |
Rant to Inconftancy, they can only keep the
name of ConRant Lovers, as Rivers Rill keep
the fame Name, tho they are never two Mi- ^
nutes the fame Water, they Rill running into
the Sea, as Springs are Rill running into them, 'jj,,
Indeed if young Gallants were bound to
keep their Mifles during life, fuch an obliga- j||,j[
tion would come fo near to matrimonial bon- j
dage, as our young Gallant, on thofe terms, ,,[1
would as little love and like a handfom young ■ j
Mifs, as an ugly old Wife, all confinements to ^
our Sparks of the times being odious. ^
O what a brave World and pleafant Age do we
live in, when new fettsof Mife,are now grown , g
modiih marks of Greatnefs, as numbers of
Wives and Concubines were figns of Magni-
licence in Solomons days, which is the only
thing I know our young Gallants imitate him
in, and their only grand reafon for doing it, is '
meerly becaufe ChriRs holy Gofpel forbids
them doing it. Really !
Really the Drunkards in S. Paul's day
were a kind of fober Men to the Libertins of
our Age ; for they knowing their deeds were
evil and fcandaious, had lb great a fenfe of
modefty and fliame, ^tho not of fin,J as to
call a vail of darknefs over them, to hide them-
felves and their Debauchery from the fight of
others, which is implied by S. Paul's faying,
Tho[e that are Drunken, are Drunken in the
Night; but the Debauchees of our times,
fo glory in their own unlliamefulnefs as
they expofe their Perfons and Vices, (I
might have faid Sins) to the open Sun-
ihine, and publick Allemblies; and are fo
far from calling a vail, either to cover their
own ihame, or their Milles painted faces, as
many of our young Sparks, nay, others
that are more than middle aged Sinners, al-
low their MifTes Coaches to themfelves, but
with Coachmen in their own Livery, for fear
all might not know whofe Mides they are,
and who keeps them, to lliew to the World
that their vile impudence fcorns all fober Mens
cenfure, as well as it defies the great Gods pu-
nilhment.
This bafe fpecies of mercenary Mifs Love,
being grown as very common as themfelves
are, who are as impudent in their Carriage, as
lewd in their Actions; and really 'tis now
^grown a difputable queflion Which now
abounds moll in London, Hackny Coaches,
H 4 or
C H A Pv A C T F R S ^
or Hackny Women, Tradefmen or Trading-
women.
1 Thus impudence is now become a kind of
Staple Commodity in our Kingdom of Love, it
being now adays eftcem'd a fhameful meannefs
of Spirit in a young Gentleman, to be out of
countenance for keeping a Mifs, but grown
no fhame at all to keep one; they being now
looked upon but as marks of greatnefs and
riches, and figns of Youth, health, fafhion,
and gaity; but never in the lead thought on, '
to be the fad effefts of fin, fhame, folly, and
wicked nefs. i
O ftrangc change ! That fin fliould be thus
fupported by a cuftomary impudence, and
vertue fupprefled by a general Cuftom: Thus
the tolerated, nay I might have faid incoura-
gingmodeofadingthis fin, has taken away
both the lhame and confcience of committing |
it; yet as very debauch'd as our Age is, we ?
ought not to cafl our faults on it, for there ['
can be no time fo bad, as to render fins necef-
fary; for general Cuflom, can never judifie -
particular faults, fince we might all live well,
if we did not fpend our time ill; for the will in !
her immediate operations, neither depends, |
nor moves by the temper of the body, or the |
fafliion of the times, but by the motions of i
the mind, in her own Refolutions.
In a word, keeping of Mides, is now grown
fo common, not only among great Men, but !
others '
af)i
d di^c6uJ?ses
izi
i5| Others ot as bad Lives, the' noc of 16 great
Eftates; that now as to the keeping of MilFes,
there's nothing in it fo ftrange, as that - any
fhouid think it fo.
the eleventh
DISCOURSE,
Of the vain folly of fuch Ladies who
think to Jhew their [Vit^ by Jeering
and Cenfuring their Neighbours,
INdeed there would not need many Lines or
Arguments on this Subjeft, to diJGTwade
Ladies from Jeering at others Faults, if they
would but ferioufly reflect on their own ; for
then certainly they would neither accule
others,nor juftifie ihemfelves, but avoid keep-
ing Company with, or at leaft pra£lifing of,
this bafe illnatur''d and uncharitable vice, of
Jeering and Cenfuring their Neighbours.
We read in the Gofpsl of S, how the
Scribes and Pharifees brought before our Savi-'
our^ the Woman that was taken in the of A~
dulttrj^ to tempt him^ faying, Mofes in the
Law commanded usy that fuch fhouid he jloned^
but what fayefi thou ? and after often asking,
H5
»
IF I ' •
Jefus faid unto them, he that is rvtthoHt fm Idi
Among you, let him ca/l the pjt ftone at her \
And they that heard it being convt£ied in their jait
own Confeiences, went away one by one, and all left coff
her',iox zs Solomon idi^s, who is fo fure as to ''i
have no ftn ? Oit
If all Cenlbrious Ladies would but truly and mu
heartily apply this laying to themlelves, and tig
fancy our Saviour now faying unto them, the rise
Lady that is free from fault among you, caft
the firft Jeer at your Neighbour, I am confi- jj |
dent the Ladies would belo Confciousof their :;ii
own Guilt, as they would prefently all leave id;
this filthy fin, as the Scribes and Pharilees i|)j
did the Adulterous Woman. i^oi
For there's no Woman in this World of fo isd
holy and pure a mixture, as to be free fi on y
any ftain and fault, for then fhe muftbe more- jjj
than a Woman; and therefore allLadies ought ijuj
to make it their bufinefs ratlier to mend their
own faults, than make it their paftime to Jeer jijjj
at thole of others, which very likely they are
guilty of themfelves, and to confider, fince all fjjj
areinfe£led, none ought to cenfure any, but ,5jj|
every one to repent in particular for himfeif,
and to be lorry in general for all.
I have known fome ordinary home-fpun wit-
ty Women, who have proclaim'd themlelves
very foolifh in great Companies, and have 15^
IhewM their want of wit in attempting to Jeer [;(
at others above their reach, having only flight j,!j
Ideas>
— h ^
^ f ^ € O U-U S E S. 123
■' Ideas, of which they pretended to have a per-
'i fe£t knowledge, and fo have expofed their
® faint glimmering wit and flafhy talk, of felf
"iji conceitednefs, on a Candlcftick, to be judged,
and look'd into by every prying and abufive
Critick, which had been much better kept at
home under a Bullae!, among their Friends and
Neighbours; many of thefe pretenders to Ral-
i|Ci lying wit, fancying they have a perfed know-
i|tt le.dge of things when they do notunderftand,
IK nor fo much as know, that they do not know
'ik it; for there's a knowledge of Ignorance, as
lb' well as an Ignorance of knowledge, and fome
biifi fin by a prefumption of knowledge, as well
as others do by an ignorant prefumption ; and
ite therefore fuch Women pretenders to wit, may
[{tit be affured that they have great reafon to Willi
btr for a deliverance from their unknown igno-
kC ranee, as well as holy David teacheth all Men
iCiiv to beg pardon of God for their fecret and un-
{fii: known faults. *Tis in ordering of wit, as in
ilfl; managing of a voyce, flie that has an indifferent
jiKi fweet low voyce, and fings within its reach,
mj,may doit agreeable enough; but if flie ftriving
to fing better than flie can, over mounts and
ftretches her voyce, by fo ovcrflraining it; flie
f[i(j)i raifes her weak voyce to mccr fqucaking,and fo
■0- renders it more difcord than good vocal Mufick.
mil So truly an indifferent Wit that moves in
^[o|' the Sphere of her own ability, may pafs for
jjiw good witty pleafant Company; but u flie pre-
!;• tends |
k
r: '
i!'
1
114 characters
teji
m
an
tends to talk of what flie does not under- W'
Rand, and by endeavouring to make witty
feoffs on others, to caff only fome grofs foul
(landers on them; fuch a one drowns her fmall
Spring of wit, in the Ocean of her folly, and
receives but contempt, inftead of praife.
For my part I have a more nice opinion of
that they generally call ignorance, than ufual-
ly mod have; for many efteem ignorance to
confifl; only in the want of School learning,
others in that of Hiftory, Philofophy, Ma. fi)
thematicks. Politicks, or the not well under-
(landing the Affairs of the World, and the
Intrigues of Courts, and the Men and fa£ti-
ons in it, when in real truth, one may be a
perfcft Mafter of Art in all thefe, and yet be ^
an ignorant Freflh man in the very dawning,
and beginning of true Wifdom, the fear of
God; which truth is confirmed by a wifer
than any that dares contradi£t it; 'tis
only that Wifdom that leadeth to falvation.
Therefore I am of opinion that a Learned
Man that knoweth much, and lives ill, and is
uncharitable; is much more ignorant, than that
Lady who knows little, and prays much, and
gives Alms plentifully, and this occafioned the
Wifeman to efteem Worldly wifdom but vani-
ty, becaufe it maketh not wife to falvation;
and S. Paul tells us, that worldly knowledge puf-
feth Hp, hut \harity edifieth, and both Gods 'b
Word, and our own experience, (if we are ho- *iii
'yo
itj
r4')
1
and D 1 S C O U~¥rS E S. 1x5
net iy >) can afllirc us, that a good Confcience^ (which
sitr our gracious God never denies to thofe that
i (o! beg it with great zeal, and in good time) is
fm a continual feaji.
f, j; Therefore your vain Ladies cannot but own
in fpight of all their averfnefs to it, that there
lioi mufl be much more wifdom in going to the
[111(1 Houfe of Prayer, than paflime to go to the
ant; Play-houfe; though if we look into the feats
eariB on Sundays, and at the boxes on all the Week-
days, we lhall find more Ladies fet out at
ll UK this, than that; tho we know one is the great
an^t duty of Religion, and the other but a meer
indis; delight of fancy.
jijyli And if the fine Ladies and young Sparks,
,ij j; could read this and not be angry, I would de-
fire them to confider ferioufly; tho I know
ijjg, ferious confidcration is very unmodilh, and
, J f confequently very unufual among them to pra-
jdjjj, dife, and fo uncivil in me to ask, what are
jjjjj witty Plays, and fine Romances; truly Plays
aLm pleafant Plots,
,|ji, fometimes taken out of true Story, fometimes
raifed by meer fancy; well aded, and finely
. reprefentcd on the Stage, richly gilded and
fet out with fine Scenes, quick Wit, pleafant
Fancy, good Humor, modifli Drefs, and pure
double refined Language, exadly fitted and
,;..tun'd to the prefent temper of the Times ,* and
when all this is done, tho one may hear much
"''.rWit in them, yet none can learn much wif-
iC'"' A
iz6 CHARACTERS
dom by them; Plays being writ for meet pa-
ftime to pleafe the fancy, more than inftrudt "f
the underftanding.made to get the Poet praife,
and the Players mony, rather than to teach ■ ,
the hearers vertue. ' ^
And fo of Romances what are they other, " J
than a pleafant ingenious mixture of fiftion, "
made up in a large Volume of extraordinary '
Adventures, and witty well compofed fan- ^
cies; rarely fet out, and richly adorn'd,with
pure fmooth Romantick Language, offlrange ™
things done, and fierce love made, by Knights
Errants in the Air, where the Lovers perform ?
a thoufand Miracles in Fights, and finglc Com- ®)
bats, killing Men without ever hurting them,
or fo much as drawing their Sword towards
it; (for all fuch relations are writ to the height
of Invention, no matter if itfurpafTcs all poflibi-
iity of performance, for thofe niceties are need-
lefs in Romances,) and fay all the fine things
imaginable,without fpeaking aword,and follow p ®
their MiftrifTes over many Kingdoms, with-
out fo much as flirting one ftep after them; fo ^
that I may truly enough fay, that a Romance, 'ilii
is a Monfter, compofed of great contrarieties, ptj
and high falfities.
In fhort, when you have once read over a '"fi
Romance, tho it be never fo good and pleafant,
yet 'tis but a kind of dull entertainment, to g|«
read it a fecond time, a Romance being like a
Stratagem of War, never to be ufed well but
once.
Sk ^
cir%r^s E s. Tif
once. And yet thefe Plays and Romances arc
fo many in number, and fo highly in efteem,
with our vain young Ladies, and fine Sparkiih
Gallants, as among many of them, they make
it the main imployment of their Study, and
the Library of their Books, (except perhaps
an old Pralike of Piety of the family, all moul-
dy through long keeping, and never ufingj
being the great Treafury of their Wit, and
the chief fubjedt of their Difcourfes.
Indeed the vain flalhy Wit of Plays and
Romances, is but like fweet Flowers, or a fine
delightful Voice; they can only for a little
time, recreate and refrefh the Senfes, but can
never benefit the Soul, or fatisfie the neceffities
of the Body; which can never be fully fed,
either by the Ears or Eyes.
• And as the light of the Sun, tho it be of a
mod excellent general influence, yet alone
could produce nothing; fo a general Jeering
wit, of it felf can never bring forth any thing
to ftrengthen the judgment, or improve the
underftanding; becaule it will not make ufe
of the good Guides of Vertue, Prudence, So-
briety,and Piety, to direct ir,on whatSubje£t it
may fall on, on what occafion it fliould be im-
ploy'd in, and by what degrees and meafures it
ought to move, with fitting confiderations of
the perfons, time, and place; and fuch Wits as
will notobfcrve thefe Rules, their drolling Wit
, willworklikenew Wine in old Bottles, which
,,,,11
i- -
will be fure co burfl and flie about, to the
prejudice of themfelves as well as others.
And now if the vain Ladies will but give
themfelves the trouble to obferve carefully one
of thefe common pretenders to rallying wit,
ifo
Icoi
(for all jeering wits are but pretenders; for if i
they had good wit, they would never be jee- y'
rcrsj you will find fuch a one chiefly made f
up of thofe four Elements in compofition, uiz. 'f.
Extravagancy and Diffimulation, Cowardife and ,
Jndifcretion, all which he praftifes to every ' ,
point of the Compafs, guiding all his rambling
talk by them,which is commonly fo rude and a-
bufive, as it caufesall modeft and vertuous per- .
fons to Ihun and deteft the company, and'ac-
quaintance; for the hearts and tongues of
fuch Men like ill Neighbours hardly ever meet
in Unity and Communion one with another,
they living in their bodies, as their eyes do in
their heads, which tho flillvcry near, yet ne-
ver fee one another; in Ihort your Jeererscom- ®
monly want jufticc and confideration, cither
tofpeak what they think, or to think of what
they fpeak, iliooting their words at meer ran-
dom; and fo will be fure to have their fliarc
in the Proverb, That a fools holt is foon /hot,
for their Tongue can only abufc themfelves, 7
not others: They hate a quiet fetled Life, be-
ing never at reft, but whilft they are rambling
from one Company to another, and never fo
well as when in motion; like fomefroward
Infants,
E S. IZ9
: Infants, that arc never at quiet longer than they
j arc Rock'J in the Cradle, and alToon as thatis
C at reft, they are not. And now 1 havenam'd
ii,, a Cradle, 1 cannot but fancy that many of
thefe ignorant pretenders to wit, got a knock in
their Cradk^ which has hindered their Brains,
and confequently their Tongues, from being
■jj. well fetled ever fince.
And as one may rationally enough conclude
of the common Habit and Drefs of a Nation^
, r by only feeing one juft come out of it, that li-
ved long in it; fo I fancy I may here venture to
make a lliort defcription of the common nature
^ of mod of thefe drolling abufive Wits,by here
making a Juft reprefentation, and giving you
' a true Pidture of one of them, tho in little.
, A common publick pretender to Jeer and
I • abule others, with his rallying Wit, isiilually
one, who makes it his great delight, and chief
bufinefs to inquire, and prie into,others Mens
words and adtions, and to make his venomous
Refledtions on them, he only palling through
their Difcourfes, as a Spie does an Enemies
Country, with a mifchievousdelign, to obferve
®"':and return Intelligence ot the dcfedts and
r weakncfs in it, and then to be fare to attack
li®':thofe weaker parrs With hislharp abules ; for
tl^ if a Man has never fo many venues, and has
but one vice, he will be lure to skip them all,
fall foul on that Oiic; as flies, leave the
cl'®' \\ hole body> to faiteti on the lead gawf d parch;
l"'' jI for
130 CHARACTERS
for fuch abufive Wits are like Surgeons, who
live by others hurts, and have nothing to do ^
with thofe parts that are found.
A cenforiousfcoffing Wit, is ordinarily com-
pofed, and made upof fuch a kind of Stuff as
Fire-ftips are, which ferve for no other ufe, r
and are built and kept for no other purpofe
than to do mifchief; the only -good in them
cortftfts in doing harm, fo the fpirit and quin-
teffence of thefe Mens ill-te-mpefd venom, lies
chiefly in abufivenefs, turning all their Notes
to the fame Tune that the Philtfitns did Sam-
fans words, only to raife and fpend their mirth
on, though to the prejudice of their deareft
Friends, and neareft Relations, which they had
rather lofe rhan<theif Jefl.
A common Talkative raillier ought by his
Trade to be fo couragioufly ftout, or rather
fool-hardy, as not to fear jeering every one;"^®
and yet indeed the Generality of them are fo'V
tame and Cowardly (for a generous mind "4
fcorns fuch a bafe and mean imployment) as to
endure(as he well defcrves) the flights and con-
tempts of all he plays upon; for tho he makes ji»
War againfl the whole Kingdom with hisfei|
Tongue, yet he dares not fight with one Man 'jiiii
in it with his Sword, and indeed for this heiiii
may well pretend fome reafon, (which
fure he cannot for Jeering all Men,) firft becaufe'^lii
a Sword is much lharper, and can wound far^^t,
deeper than his Tongue; and next if he fliould'tf?
fight
and EHf^ C O 17 R S E S. I31
vj fight with every Man he raillies, and takes the
to, liberty to abule, he muft fight more Duels in
the Field, than ever Captain reserved
p Challenges in tha Play; but my Gentleman is
tuf; <too wife in his Mirth to expofe his body to
13; fuch a Iharp Encounter. In a word, if youdc-
fire to fee this fierce Satyrifl drawn to the life,
you need but look on S. Georgds pifture drawn
a horfeback, where he is ftill holding up his
hand, but never flrikes ; for he fears danga:
like apoor-fpirited Mortal, thoughhe Uves,as
if he thought he Ihould never die.
This fort of Men that make it their bufi-
nefs, with their pretending Wit, to abufe all
jjjuj, Perfons; all the ill I ne-ed fay of them, (fc^
' they fay enough of themfelves) is, that tfiey
take upon them an employment which they
•muft have a great ftiare of Wit to perforifn'Well,
J., and muft much want difcretion to undertake
'J., at all; for at beft if they are Mafters of any
-Wit, they employ it ill, fince they do not live
fo much by their own wit, as by others
, I hope now the vain Ladies that are givrn to
Jeering will pleafe to take notice, that I have
' on this Subjeft ufed them with the fame re-
fpefl: that Tutors do young-Princes, who when
"f.i, they have committed any great fault, inftead
J. of whipping them, whip their favourite play-
^ " fellow, for their Fault; that the Prince feeing
• the fevere punifhment ufed on their favorite
I i boy.
132 C H A Pv A G T E R S
boy, may by his Chaftilement avoid ading
himfelf, the like fault for the future.
So tho 1 do not here name the Ladies, that
are given to this filthy ill-natured vice; yet I
aflure them this Difcourfe was writ meerly
for them,and aims only at them, as knowing it
a Crime, that moft of them through vanity do
affed; and truly this bafe fault ot Cenfuring
muft needs appear worfe in a young Lady, than
in any other; for as a black fpot fiiews the
clearer, the whiter the skin is that 'tis placed
|upon; fo fharp raillery, and abufive wit, ap-
pear the more black and foul, coming out of the
mouth of a beautiful Lady, whofe words ought m
to be full of fweetnefs fuitable to her looks. ; -.13
And let me tell you this great Truth, that ujli
our pert Cenforious Ladies might in a far I'd
Ihorter time, and with much lefs pains, and
abundant more content to themfelvcs gain the ;2ai
bleJfled Title of good Chriftians, than the bad "ik
Charader of being witty and profane Jeftcrs;
which can only for a little time give them the Jili
applaufe of fome irreligious and ill difpofed per- d
fons, whofe praifes are really but difcommenda- si;
tions: Whereasa truly pious and vertuousLa- ^5,^
dy, will flill jufliy defervc, and ever conftantly
receive the true cflecm and commendation of js,
godly fober Men in this World; befides fecuring
to herfelt Eternal happinefs in the next. ss;
- Therefore if any of our vain Ladies defire k
to attain this happy flate of blifs, let me here
- affure
D 1 S C O U K J> E S. 135
aflure them, that their right way to it, is wife-
ly and charitably to Judge thcmfelves, and
!,ik not others, and inftead of Jeering at others de-
)T, feds to mend theirovvn; by firll repenting of
mK their own immoralities, and then being ferry
win; for thofe that do not the like for theirs; for as
iDKj; wife Seneca fays, He that does good to anothert
<A\: does good to himjelf, not only in the Conjequeneet ,
ilj/u hut in the very prefent aSt of doing it; for the^
i®i Confcience ojvoetl doings is a very pleafant ample,
isfia reward in it felf\ and therefore (I am lure) tho
it be a very unmodilh advice, yet 'tis a very
rt good Chrillian dodrin, not to undo a Ladies
(k reputation to pleai'e your own boundlefs and
oob extravagant fancy in being admired and
rak thought witty in doing mifchief, and there-
[ ui, fore 'tis rather a Chrillian duty if you fee
)]iiis,i your Neighbour lie under any afflidion, or
yjiit; live under any imputation of fcandal, that you
jk; are free from, to corred your proud and high
minded thoughts in fancying that by this you
, tiiji;; merit fo much better than llicj but rather
ifpjjju; thank God, that he is more merciful to you
ijgu than her, and be Hill reformingother Womens
jjjDU, faults, by your own good example, rather than
continue to inflame them by your lharp invc-
dives, and malicious Cenfures, which often
l^fjjjqreate bitter Enemies, but feldom make good
Friends or better Chrillians.
ilk Solomon Prov.vo, Jt ii an honour to
^ - avoid Jirife^ hut every fool will he medling \ all
' I J Mdics
C H A R A C T E R S
Ladies ought fo to govern their Difcourfes, as I;
to make them civil and obliging, not indifcreec [jdi
and Cenforious; but to be fuited to the time, a,
place, and company you are in, for airy talk,
and rallying mirth, would not agree but look ill js
at a fad, and grave Funeral aflembly; and fo ffj
on the other hand, an abundance of gravity iaj
and refervednefs muil be very unbecoming,as jjj
being very unfuitable to a Jovial Wedding-
Company met only to feaft, dance and be mer- ijjJ
ry.; for then gravity would pafs for a kind of
diflike as if you cenfured others jollity. ,53
We read in Scripture of Tongue Murderers,
who tho they are bloudlefs, yet are not guilt-
lefs; and Solomon fays, That a vchifperer fepa- Juj
rates chief Friends; and yet how common is it jj/
among our vain young witty Ladies, to make
defamation their chief talk, and whifpering of
lies againft their Neighbours the main Topicks
of their Difcourfe, if not the conftant enter-
tainment of their Vifiters, eflecming it but a .jj
part of modifh Repartee and fine breeding, to ^
ralily at and cenfure others, and to make fport
at their infirmities; nay often create fairs meer- ^
ly to make fport, fo they be but wittily inven-
ted, no matter how unjuRly they are raifed; jjj|
fure fuch Ladies never read that faying of So-
lomon. That to do mifchief is the fport of a fool^ ^
and he that utteretb a flander is one; and there-
fore fhe mufl be much worfe than a fool, that
not only vents, but invents flanders. - ^ ^ |
How
; i >■ i
■ Ji
I ,ip ■
W D f S C O U R S E S.
How comnpion is it among our vain witty
® Ladies, to make a quarrel, rather than Jole a
Jeer, anddifoblige a good Neighbour, fooner J
I'''' than ftifle a witty Jed; and lb as the Wiic man I
fays, make fport with calling out Fire-brands, |
!* never confidering, (at lead not caring,) that :|
anunjudice done to your Neighbour is afm |
againdGod; lor tlw you really only aim it at 1
fee your Neighbour, yet being forbidden by God,
ikit yourdifobedience renders it a fin againlt God '
aliii; himfeif: And'tis little iefs to Jeer at any ones
'1'^ natural defefts or infirmities, as being born
liuust ugly,crookedorthelike,fince'tis in a manner d
notS reproaching God for making them lb.
wtt'f' But why diould I fpend time in taking no- k
tice of Ladies-jeering at others ill lliapes, bad ii
,ioi faces, or little wit, when many of the young jij
ii®S Atheidical fry of our times, are fo profane, as !;
inlf to pick out faults, in Gods facred Word, and i
atc lb railly at, what they ought to adore, and !!
i»iik can only hope to befaved by; I am ftireour
lais blefled Saviours Doblrin is fo far againil the
Mi:|i fcandalous abufes and cenfures of the Age,
fibtf wherewith fome reproach their Neighbours,
who have been poffibly injurious to them; that
jrcH he forbids us to return them never fo little, tho
pjjD!. they are giving us never fo much, but com-
t^i' mands us not to rail and jeer at them, that
andii jeer and rail at us; to pray for our Enemies^ ;
ifcoi' to do good to thofe that fpitefuUy ufe usi
God having inOituted it as a Fundamental
f I 4 Law I
n6 C H A R A C T f/R S
Law to Mankind, not to do our Neighbours
any hgrm, in Body, Goods, or good Name;
,flj
but to do them all the good we can in every of f
:?ini
at;
£0
them.
In Ihort, this is the fad and unequal deport- '1
ment of moft vain handfom Ladies, both as to
themfelves, and others; which is to be angry
with their Neighbours without a Caufe, and
never to be angry at themfelves, tho they have
one, many of the vain Ladies eftecming it a fuf-
ficient ground of quarrel, and anger, at other
young Ladies lor being more handfom than
they ; but forget }at the fame time to be of-
fended at themfelves for being lefs pious than
them, JM not loving their Neighbours as thew
::ii3
cil
£93
fehes, for if they did, they would never of-
fer, what they would not take.
But fo vain and w.cked is our Age, as com- *^1
monCuRom, and little Conlideracion, makes
many of the vain witty Ladies to fancy, that
Romantick Lies, and detracting Jeers, are but ^
Wind,which if granted,yet it cannot t>e denied,
but the often repetition may unite them into a "
ftorm of fins; for does not experience teach
us, that light flakes of 5novv, that fingly fcarce
weigh anything, being but a kind of half con-
gealcd Atoms, yet do often by their long uni- -i!!
ted Confluence fwell into an ability of de-^-
llroying Houfes and Families in fpice of their.*1
greaceft refifiance. ' ■«
k 3 C O U R S E S. 137
[)Q(r Solomon Frov. 16.57. Tbat an ungod-
lai ly Mans Hps u as a hurningjire, and in the very
aj( next Verfe feems to'explain what he means by
a burning fire; afroward Man foKCth jirife, and
lejKj a vohifperer feparateth chief Friends^ as I latd
tills: before; how common is it among the vain La-
tin? dies of the times, to leflcn their handfom
i(Ciii Neighbours beauty, meetly on defign that liy
ijjlu Eclipfing it, they might make their own Ihine
cm; out the Clearer, and often to raife Icandalous
Reports to blemilli her Reputation among her
juE Friends, and Lovers; it being indeed too com-
(jIj; men a praftice among them to whifper a-
jjjjA bout ill Reports of their Neighbours as told
jijils them abroad from others, when really they
jjg were Coin'd at home by themfelves. O vain
Ladies, if you will not for your own and
J jj(j ftiame fake, at lead for vertue and honour fake,
abandon raifing all wicked fcandals on your
ipjl" Neighbours, and banifli from your praidice, all
impertinent fenfelefs Rrifes, all cenfuring
twaties, and rtiarp offenfive feoffs, which tho
a mode vice, is lb great a Crime, as it truly
piisE requires a ftrift Repentance, and a high Repa-
!' I J. ration for the offence to the Pcrfons fo injured ;
and that fuch fcandalous Jeercrs would for
"1 the future, as David fays, Feep a Bridle in
" ^ their Mouthy that they offend not roith their
Tongue-, and fo new mould, and well regulate
jt, as inflcad of iifing it as an Engine to rack
their Neighbours Reputation with, they may
fnn! 138 (J h'A H A 1
henceforward, employ and confecrate it to the
fetting out, and ftretching forth, their vertue
j and good name; and let all your ftrife be in
a pious Emulation of vertue and hoiinefs, and
in religious endeavors who fliall excel, and
take place in the true and conftant pra£tice of
them, in their lives and converfation; for in
them confifts not only the greateft wifdom,
higheft wit, but alfo the beft breeding, and
moft fublime and fplended beauty, being the
everlafling one of hoiinefs, befides that of pure
honour indeed; for Gofpel Heraldry muft
' ever be the very beft, for the greateft Monarch
in this World muft live a finner, but the mean-
eft Woman in it, by her living a godly and
vertuous life, may die a Saint, and therefore
it muft certainly be much better to live well,
and fo die happily, than to be born great, left
rich, or look handfom; for the beauty of a fair
delicate Complexion, may bea Womansown ^
purchafe,not Natures gift, and her high Title,
and great Eftate, may left her by her friends,
without being in the leaft merited by her felf;
but to be highly pious, and truly vertuous,
muft moft certainly be the true and lawful
Iflue of a Womans own Religious inclinations:
Therefore I lhall conclude this Difcourfe, with
this undeniable Truth, That true goodnefs,is
true greatnefs; and that Lady will be the grea-
reft in the other World, that lives the beft in
this.
THE
I
It;
THETWELFTH
,11
« DISCOURSE,
fell
.
Of French Fajhions and Drejfes^
f now ufed in England, by the moT^
J J dijh Ladies^ and young Sparks.
I "
lox
™ T^\lvi"2s tell us, that perfe£b life may be
iiyi ^^^fteninfhortmeafures, & Painters allure
KE us that exad beauty may be drawn in fmall
proportions, and experience Ihews us, that an
01,1 infinity of words, is made of a few letters ;
ofil and 'tis approv'd by the great Wits,and Poets
m of the Stage, that a fhort Prologue may fuic
jlilt well with a long Play; and fince I do not here
rfc pretend, nor indeed lb much as ambition to
kill keep company with their great Wit, I hope
cnwthey will admit me to follow their fhort mea-
dlitfures, and by their example juftifie this my
isicifmalldifcourre from appearing very unfuita-
irfc,rble to this large Theme,
odiii Solomon in his CharaQer of a Covetous Per-
[jiejfon, fays, He is one inborn God hath given riches
J l)e{ 4»^ honour to^ fo that he wanteth nothing of all
that he defrtSj but Godgiveth him not toe forver
'16 " ' ■ '
14®
to tit thereof', which is an evil Dileafe, becaule ito'
fuch a Man wanteih even what he hath; what d
. can fuch amilerable becall'd better than a fad nln
wretch,that makes himldfa voluntary Slave, rJf
to labour in the Mines of his own wealth, "k
and Vaffal-like only to enjoy the drudgery afc
part for his own fhare, making his wealth a i'l
burden, without reaping any true pleafure or ik
advantage by it; fo that fuch a Man, tho' he ;
be never fo ricb,muft die in debt to himfelhfor im
he flrips himfeif of neceflaries during his own su
life, to make his Children a Wardrobe after ip
his death. #
' I am fure the prodigality of ourLoW^-vtsi
Gallants is after a quite different Manner; forra
fbthey can but make a Wardrobe for them-ul
ielves and Mifles during their own lives,manyui
of them care not the' they leave theirChildremjit
in a condition to want neceflaries after their«|,
death, which too many of thepi can juflinejsi
by woful experience ; feveral of their Fathers
Eftates,that did belong to them as their Birth- ij
tight,by their Parents luxury, pride, and folly,
have been made a facrifice to the extravagant jn
expences,and vain profufenefs of their Millrif-i^
fes pride, and their own fbttifhnefs, as that
they have left nothing to their Heirs of Inhe-^
ritance, but the wind, ( as Solomon exprelfesij
it, ) Pro'V. 11.29. The certAtn lofs of their ft-
thers Ejlate, anA the uncertain getting another^
for tkttnfelves if they can,
' ' I have
WD IS© CURVES. 141
^ I have read of a Philofopher that was per-
V fwaded by his friends to leave his retirement
®' lor a little time to fee a fine Shop plentifully
1^''' ftor'd with all manner of rich things, and fine
knacks, and being asked what he thought of
i- all thofe rare things: I am thinking (faid he)
what a World of things are here I do not want,
for what's more than we ufe, is more than we
need.
- I am confident if one of our fine London La-
dies had been (hewn that fight, and asked
iw.: that queflion; her anfwer had been, what a
World of things I want that are not here,
iili which much juftifies a Writers faying, that the
Hik, ancient Latins called Womens Wardrobe, Mun-
inn dus, a World ; yet I find in the Map of Wo-
mens ornamental Drcfles, reckoned by the
fC Prophet Ifaiah, the fum total of them there
named, to be but twenty one ; which clearly
jm flievvs the vafl difference between the twenty
one years of Men, and the twenty one Dref-
fes of Women; for by the Law of our King-
, doms, all Mens years under one and twenty,
tf.,. are not allow'd to reach difcretion ; but our
Prophet feems here to fry, that by the Law of
God, all Womens Drefles, that amount to,
sf much more that pafs beyond twenty one,
muft exceed all difcretion ; for certainly they
fp muif be too many for Women to wear, whom
God declares too many for him to like.
I4i CHARACTERS J*
And tho without any difpute 'tis a fin to
doubt, that thofe ornamental Dreflcs which -
the Creator thinks too many, no Woman Crea-
ture but ought to efteem more than enough;
yet fo extravagant and phantaftical are many
of our fine Ladies and Gallants, as they are -7
fo far from efteeming that Number fufficient.as
they fend almoft every week to PartSyiot fuch 7"
fupplies of new faftiion DrefTes, as one might as ^
foon Climb up to the Top of all NumberSi as
to hope to reckon the numberlefs variety of
Womens Drefles; tliere belonging much more jie;
Rigging to fet out a young Lady, than a Man 'm
of War; fohard 'tis to caff up the variety of
parts, as now adays belong tocompleat a great "k
Modifti Ladies Drefs and Equipage. a
And therefore I fancy an old Philofopher n®
gave both a good Reafon and true Character of an
the faihion of rich Drefles, That 'twas the
deadly catching Difeafe of Women, and the foo- :!
lijh pajfton of men. Indeed I find no reafon to tijt
believe any of thefe kind of Ladies are know-
ing in Philofophy, becaufe they cannotbe lo-
vers of Wifdom, that are haters of Difcrecion 3,^
which makes a main part of it. But I have a
great deal of reafon to believe that they are
knowing in Satans Arithmatick, and too well ^
underiland finful Subtradion, and vain Mul-
tiplication, fincewe find fo many of them can
Subtract the Ten Commandments to the .55,
fcarce keeping of one, and multiply the twen- ,15
ty
and D I S e O U K S E S. 143
■k ty one ornamental Dreflcs, to the ufing ol hun-
*1" dreds.
nO; And the worft of it, is, that not one of thefc
Mil? twenty one Drefles are a kin to thofe S. Peter
iis advifcd the Women of his time to wear, which
litj! was not putting on Gold, or curling Hair^ or what
ax is Corrupt ible, but the Ornaments of a meek and
toii quiet Spirit, I Pet. ^,4. which exaftlyfuits
K the true beauty of Religion, which the Apoftle
1)®,; fays, is of great price in the fight of God, for that
m; will render Women of fo pious a Temper, as
d? tho the youthful gaiety of their human Na-
111 ture, may make them think of the vain drefies
m of the times, yet their fanftified minds will
[IS .never let them forget to be true followers of
the Rate of Eternity,
ofe;. Indeed 'tis a hard meafuring Caft, whether
their variety of vain extravagant Drefles, de-
M ferves more Mens fober pity, or contempt,
(ii? moft, I am fure are fitter for either, than my
af(s: defcription; yet I muft be Charitable to them,
tho they are far from being fo to themfelves, as
itlj to wilh that thefe our fine young modifh La-
dies, and their Gallants, would keep more
liiB Commandments, and ufe fewer Dreflcs, that
xj! they might thereby leflen their own particular
00^ vanities, and moderate the general Englijhouxr
iiil cry againfl; French fafliions, which many think
ijn; have not only over run, but near deftroycd,
[o; all our noble ancient great way of Living; and
jnc grave kinds of fober Drefles.
Sure
Sure if our fine young Ladies and great Mo-
dills, would but a little ferioufiy refleft of what s
moft of their fine Clothes are made, they
would not be fo proud to glory in, what they 0
really ought-to bealham'd off; for the fine Silks .it!
we wear, are but the workings of poor little 'Q
Worms, and our fineft Cloth is made of the
Wooll of Sheep; fo that our covering was but 0
that of Beafts, till our pride and vanity robb'd lu
them of it. ;ik
And indeed our great adored Miftris Mony, ilJt,
which all, of all forts receive with fo great joy, ni
and entertain with fo high delight, as the on- al
]y true happy, and undecayingMiilris in this id
World, for all Love her palfionatly at once, and if;t
what's yet ftranger than all, both Sexes are ;5k
ftill conllanc in their eager love, and great
fondnefs of her; nay Solomon had fo great an
elleem and value for Money, as he faid it an- ijjj
fwercdall things, yet if we truly look into its si:
Excraftion, we ihall find it as very mean asjj^,|
that of our Clothes-,for as Seneca well obferves, »j]
That Gold and Silver were (I 'tilmixt, and never
kept better Company than Earth and Dull^ i
a varice and ambition raifed and parted therHy j,,
and fo they became our Majiers as well as Mi-
frtfes.
O how lirangely is Apparel Mctamorpho-
fecll We read in Genejis that it was firfi ufed to
iedc our Shame, bur now 'tis worn to fnew our .,j
Piidc; and God knows if we truly confider, we_|'j
are
and D I S C O U R S E S. 145"
w'l are very far frora having any reafon to boaft
of our Apparel, fince 'tis but the cover of
'^1 u Shame and Sin, and therefore we ought to wear
wa itbuc as deep mourning for the greaclofs of our
fcS. dear friend Innocency.
"Jot; Nor can any deny, but that Mourning is a
Garment fitter according to the ftridtcfl nice-
ties of our very prcfenc Modes, to denote true
itJKt fadnefs, than fet out vain^glory; to manifcfl
grief, thanexprefs joy; yet foevil is our pre-
fent Age, as many of the wicked brood ot ei-
fu: der Brothers, who as one faidj pray for their
asiii-Fathers lives, but not their living, plainly
lib. Ihew at their Fathers death, in what a manner
»! they are conccrn'd forhislofs, (not theirs) by
tetheir chearful Countenancej and Gay Lives;
which clearly Proclaim that they Mourned ra-
)Lii. ther becaufe their Fathers lived folong, than
[jjliidied fo foon, and fo make their long funeral
ir Cloaks, (which ufually weigh heavier on their
f do;Backs, than thecaufeof them on their Hearts,)
rather a Habit of great Joy, than true Mourn-
iiit ing.
(ft!' But real Mourning hath nothing to do with
rd our French Drefies, therefore this difcourfe
:<il3ilhall have no more to do with it; and I will
now return to my Subject, and mind you that
3iii(!ithe French have brought into England lb ma-
Jiiny firange Fafhions, as 'tis to be feared cur
(fei young fry of Nobility, and Gentry, willcflcern
jjb piety and vertue as things quite out of falhion;
K and
146 C H A R A C T K R S
Itili
and ufe; and indeed their Lives cannot be
more extravagant and vain, than their Appa- ,
rel, if I can properly fay they have any left. ■*:
Certainly if Sir John Suckling had lived to ^
thefe times, he might well have added to that
pithy faying of his, This trifle Woman^ mil un-
man m all, and mcloath us too, for Doublets
are quite left off by all the Modifts: And
for the Breeches moft of our young Sparks,
and fome of the old Fops have loft them alfo,
being generally given by our Gallants to their
Miftrifies, and by the meer Country Gentle-
men to their Wives, which by the by, is a new
Mode that contradifls the old Law, to con-
found the Habits of fcveral Sexes; fo that iH®-!
our Women increafe thus in Power, and ouri'^j
Men continue fo in folly, 'tis very probable,®
that thofe of the next Age may fee our Englijh
Modifts piftur'd as they doTruth, that's naked.*;;
Thefe fort of Men, if I may properly call si;
them Men that have loft their. Manhood, ha-''^ii
ving left ofF-their Doublets, and yielded up ima
their Breeches, have nothing on to wear but :fi
their Coats, which may indeed ferve to cover
their Nakednefs, but can never hide their »I
Shame; for fo degenerating is their temperisjj
as to make themlelves fervants to Women,-jji
whom by their birth right they ought to ruleijjf
over as Lords and Mafters; and what is worfc ;
and ftranger than all this, to be plcafed and glo- in
ry in their fervitude. 'k
1 read
D r S G O U ft "S E S. 147
ot I read of a great Politician that Counfclied
A- his Prince, to refle£t on the dangerous confe-
l| quence that might happen by admitting his
ivj; Subjects to receive Penfions from forrein
Kj Kings; and his reafon was, that forrein food,
nil was apt to breed forrein blood in them. And
loif: indeed'tis a faying as very true, as old, that
; I ufe is a fecond nature; we "being apt to like
S- heft,what we are accuflom'd to moft; both hi-
ijr. ftory and our own experience afford us many
ftrange examples of the nature of Cuftom,and
among thofe many, one of an Englifh Gentle-
11, man, who was in my time in the Gallies at
[r; Marfeiliies ; where by long Cuftom of being fo,
j),|j he notonly grew a Contended Slave, but if I
jujinay fo fay, a Voluntier ; for he was a good
jjjij Gentleman of the Family of the Courtniet^ and
j|p(as he faid) had fomcprofpeft of an Ellatc in
^^^ England; yet he chofe to continue that kind of
gjj.Life, rather than enjoy his Liberty, which
^,they fay was offered to be procured for him ;
jlijjj: which mad refufal of his, has totally defeated
jjjil half theProverb, That there can he no
jjjj. fuch thing in Nature, at an ugly Mifiru, or a
handfom Fri/on.
jjjj 'Tis an old Curfe among the Turks, Iivifh
as little reft as a Chriftians Hat, and I wilh
|j,[- k may not grow a new Curfe among the Chri-
„^,ftians, Iivijh you as little reft as an Englifh Fa-
^hon, for they are now fo much Frenchefied, as
they change oftner tlian the Moon, and reft
1. ' ,K ^ as
148 C H A R A
as little as the Sea, which is in a continual mo-^all:
tion: And I think I may properly enough fay-^
of Falhions, what a Writer faid of Serving.;:;ji
Men, fuch as are extraordinary Tall are enter-j^
tained for Porters to Lords', and Jnch as areve-.^
ry Low, are taken to he Dwarfs to Ladies, whiljig^^
Men of a good middle-Jize Stature, often waHt yj^
Maflers. ,|l
So all extremities of Falhions are worn by jjji
1 many of the Lords and Ladies, but a fobeitj(
moderate Drcfs few will entertain.
So much have thefe extremities of FrencV^^
Fafliions infatuated our minds, and debauch'c^jfj
our fancies, that thofe that do not exadfly foLj^,
low their Meafures (tho they ace above al.j^jj
needful ufe, and very much befide all decent
fobriety^ are efteem'd as great Phanaticks, am a;
DilTenters to the gentile Rules of modifhDrei .j, L,
•fing, as any Nonconformift can be to the
vernment of Church Difcipline. .i
Thus we have fool'd our felves into fuchri,
diculous extreams, as to make the French lu,^^,
perfluities,. to become not only the Standary/
of our Falhions, but the very neceflity of 0Uj,^i
Apparel; Paris being for Fafliions, like th.|,^^
Camelion for its Colours, who gives them t(
all beholders, whereas in all others we receiv,
them from the Ideas of things we meetwith.^^^
And indeed theFalhions change
often, and coll fo dear, that many of our
Fops that are newly got into their Eftates, bu ;
nc'
%ot at all into their years of difcretion, do fol-
^lovv their vain fafliions and fo (to be eflecmed
modilhly well bred,) in a little time, are for-
^'"ced to fell their real Eftates for ever; and if
^''twere not for fear of grating your Ears with
^''the unfavory found of a Clinch, I was juft gO-
''"ing to fay, that they are the very worft fort of
Fools, that will fell En^ijh Lordlhips to buy
'•'^'^■french Manners.
'' As our Conditions are not alike, fo our Dref-
fes ought not to be the fame, for our Clothes
match our Revenue, as well as fit our Bo-
"^'-dy, for great Expences become a poor Man, as
a large Switzers Breeches does a Dwarf. The
''^Coft of keeping a great Table, a rich Equipage,
^■and a large Retinue, being only for a Perfon of
'J'l'^great Quality, and goodEftate; and he that
i®fells his Lands, only to live at fuch a ranting
iDili^extravagant rate, in a few Months (hews his
, great folly, as well as merits the mifery of fad
to^want.
Apparel like a River, is only good and ufeful,
fSi^whillt kept within the Banks and Limits of
Moderation, but when it begins to fwell and
5>break out intoexcefs,it is fo far from being ufc-
A\, as it Rill proves pernicious if not deflrur
W'ftive.
# We read that the Romans were fo verycau-
cletious and wife, as to banifli out of their Re-
or publick, fuch as fliould attempt to give any
■llaf'new advice in it, and I fancy the reafon for it
K } was,
I50 C H A K A' ^ 1 fc K 5
was, that they believed there were more bad/^
than good Men in their Republic; and there-
fore luch more forward to receive ill Advice,
than hearken to good Counfel. And fince I
put no Name here, I will venture why^'Twere '1'
well the fame Rule were ufed as to Drejfes, and
that any one that brought into England anew
fafhiond Dre^according to the Paris Mode, might
be hanljhedit\ becaufe 'tis moft certain there
are more of our young Men and Women, ex-
travagantly given, than vcrtudufly inclin'd;
and confcquently more apt to imitate a new *
Mode, efpecially if a/reW:? Drcfs, than any
fober decent Apparel of their own Country '
Growth; for indeed it may be truly faid of'®
our Englijh following French fafliions, what a
Writer faid of Ariflotle, that whatfocver indi- -'^^
gefled notions he 'vomited up, there were many
young Fhilofophers ready to lick them up', I am *
fure what extravagant fafliions x\\QFrench wear, '•'1'
too many people are apt to approve and follow. ■'®i
Really I cannot now but laugh, aswellas*™fi
wonder, when I think how our young Engli/h'^-^
Nobility and Gentry, are tied and confined to
the ftrift Rules of the French fafhions; for^Ht
our Englijh Judgments (in that grand affair-iiio
of Dreffes) are only admitted to imitate and'
approve, and many imitate what they do not^al
approve; for their Fancies are not allow'd to b
invent or choofe, fcarce add or diminilh, but J.
we miiftforfooch with an implicit Faith, reve-'"*
rcnce
- ....
rence what the French wear, and to be as infa!-
lij. lible a rule to our EngliJlj Modes, as a Church
Decree is a Guide to thofe of the Roman Faith.
UK; In a word, our young Gallants are grown
'jj. fo very vain in their Apparel and Drefles, that
-i ; defiring to fee change and excefs of vanity, we
dn need but look on one anothers vain change of
(jr Drefles, being almoft as diverfe as the Perfons
u;- that wear them ; and therefore 'tis impoffible
to view them all, but 1 can give you in a line
j5j; this exadl and true Charadter of them. That
.jj. our Modes are lecome the effects of our vain fan-
jjjjj tajiick Prodigality, and more irregular Incon-
c®i
yj;,, Indeed all our vain expenfive French Dref-
fes, may make the Ladies or Gallants finer,
. .. but never better or vvorfer; for Embroidered
Clothes to our Bodies, are but like flowers of
.[^ Rhetoric in Speeches; they make the words
;.|y, found the fweeter, but render not the fcnfe
the better, it may pleafe the Ear, but it does
not improve the Judgment: Orlikefilver Di-
Ihes on a Table, they may fliew their own
Cofllinefs, but they make no addition or good-
ncfs to the .Meat they contain, whatever they
.1 may do to the fancy of the Eater, or Obfer-
vcr.
IKC:
jikI'
Really if we would but allow Confcience
or Reafon a Vote in this affair, we fhould foon
^ be affured by them; that there appears more
* true wifdom, and fatisfadlion in giving one
■ K 4 Penny,
ryi l; H"A K A C T E R S
Penny, as an Aims deed for Chnll's fake, than ?
in laying out many Pounds on bravery for our ,
own; more real fine in Clothing one that's na- J
ked, on a pious account of true Charity, than
by bedawbing twenty footmen in Gold orSil- j
ver rich Liveries on the fcorc either of vani- [|3;ii
ty or Falhion, and that becaufe it fuits the :;ci
Loneli,n or Paris Mode. For I efleem Livery.
men (excepting thofe that are really ncceflary ,,[
to a Mans perfon and Quality) but jufl fo ma- di
ny Porters that are hired to carry about a ;|ij
Mans pride and folly, and the feveral Colours
of his Liveries to be but fo many Lures, and ;
Jack-Puddings to draw mens Eyes to behold a
fair Ihew, not only of his own Pride,but often i it,
of his Merchants lofs; for 'tis now grown no 5
common wonder, efpecially in London, to fee j
ycung Sparks Clothes, and their Footmens Li- .fjj
verics to lafl: longer in their Merchants books,
than on their own, or Footmens backs, and
they turned offi before the Books are CrofTed
In a word, I wifli ourfafliions, may
not prove fatal follies, by being foon natura- ||j
lizecl into EngliJhQw^ioms; lor then let them ..,j
be never fo coftly, ridiculous, and vain, like
blackncfs among the /Ethiopians, the com-
monnefs may remove their deformity, but can
rievcr fmother the prejudices againft them. ■
r will now only add this Confideration to
conclude all, in reference to our line young ,
Frenchefied
J
Arid D C O U S 155
"'^frerichtfiedh2idiQs^2Ln6 thac is, thatchey would
''I'Teriouny reflect on the end o{ all their tine
'^'^^Modifli DrelTeSjand their greater iofs ot preti-
|'®ous time they waft about them, which occa-
J fions their minding (b much the finenefs of
."'their Bodies, as many of them negle£t by it
"""•the care of their Souis, the belt and only lafl-
ing part; and therefore they Qiould remember
thac they muii die certainly, tho'they now
Itloisiiiye pleaiantiy, and .then all their plenty of
finch rich Frenchejitd DreiTes will be contained
one poor Winding-fheet, and their exaft
'^i^^llender fliape in a Coffin, and all their fine
'''"'"■Gallants, and conftant admirers, will leave
Jttethem at the Grave, where their Bodies will be
only fit to be enjoyed by nafty worms.
'1'®' This ('young Ladies) is the true Epilogue
Hlijo the fad Tragedy of your vain DreiTes, and
3li«l|what''syet worle than all, your Souls will be
"'^'ifin as lad a condition as your Bodies after death
h® without a hearty Repentance, which can ne-
ver be without a real amendment, in aban-
DSiiffldoning, not only great Sins, but vain excefles,
M® as well in DreffeSjas wafting time about them,
icti'^'and that you come to efteem them as Solo-
110.1 jw-ja did the pleafuresof this World, only as
le®vanity of vanities.
M Therefore all you young Ladies, that defire
itOL to death your Souls in aHeavenly drcfs,adorn
tioo' your Lives with conftant Piety, and your Bo-
yo^fdiss with modeft and decent Clothing, fuch as
■ K < wafts
L
M4
Warts not too much ot your time or Eftate
but wear ftill-what is mort generally worn ^'
and then you may be fare, that few perib^f®''
will either gaze or laugh at you.
M
the thirteenth
D I s c o u R s E, f
^ ::Iic
Of Worldly Praifes, which all Ladief^^
•' 1 ^ ' L 4. r a ' J. '®
love to receive^ but few Jtrive to
rit; with the Jad end of it and them^<^\ji
when they come to T)ie. ^liii
iliiiii
Worldly Praile is a SubjeQ I (ball writenejt
little of,for thefetWGReafons,firftthat.i
I need not write for it,and next that I dare not)®
write againft it, for as on the one hand it;, otl
would be vain and fuperfluous to make thatjijjj
my bufinefs to commend, what all Praife j fo iij
on the other fide, it would argue a great folly tjf,
to write againft that all the World writes for;
therefore to prevent all I can writing fiiperflu-
oufly or foolifhly, I fhall only glance this Di-^jj^j
Icourfeon the Worlds high efteem, and eager
ambition after vain Praifes; the defiresof^j^
gaining it being as infeparable from raoft Men
and Womens Afltions, as Light is from the j,f
Sun, or heat from fire, and fiiall only nametiij!
HW the common ways to it, and the ufuai end of
y m it, and them, when they come to die.
jxiif Praife is that great Idol, which all people
in the World adore and flatter as the Supream
obje£t of their pleafure and delight, as having
a perfeft influence over all our Adtions of what
T| kind, degree, and quality vvhatfoevcr. And
therefore let publick Writers fay what they
will, and pretend what they pleafe, felfPraile
' is the Jack they all Bowl at, tho many rakefe-
vcral Grounds to it. And tho fome Writers
are more humble, and referv'd; more mode-
rate, and lefs opinionaters of their own Wri-
i tha tings, lefs apt to Cenfure thoic of others, that
differ in Opinion from theirs, than ufually
moft kind of Writers are; yet all of them court
jin. feveral ftiapes and differing man-
)me court Praife by their ingenious Wri-
eliiBi- ting, others think to gain it by their witty
fpeaking, and a third Ibrt hope to procure it
'rf' by a diTcreet fllence, relying upon wife S^U-
reitfiit moKS faying, a Man of mderfi an ding holdetb
im peace, and a Fool ufetb many i/Fords.
fupeil The finefl Ware is ufually the clofeft wrapt
iitiiii up, and Silence is not only Ifill ufeful to f/^elter
oiti; a Fool, but often to difcovcr a wife Man. 'Tis
IcCfi: vvifdom to fpeak when one ought, and fol-
lol!'' ly when we ought not; he'needsmuch Reafon
rojii that fpeaks well, but a little fervcth him that
If 11^1 holdeth his Peace; fmce he that takes upon
' L" 1
156 CHARACTERS
i:;--
him CO fpeak wifely on a Subjedt, but does ic
fimply, ail hearers are Judges and wicnefles of
his folly, but hethatis filenc, none can juftly
tell whether he can fpeak wifely or not, and fo
as to him, ought to hold their Peace, becaufe
he does his.
There are as many Roads and Paths to
Praife as there are employments, I think I
might well venture to fay all Adions in the
World, and hope of Praife is the common
Guide and Condudor general to them all, ma-
king the greatefl Enemies, and moft diftant In-
habitants of the World, to agree in the bands
of unity and friendfliip. '"i'
Praife is the greatefl: of all Levellers, for ic
brings the highefl and lowefl degrees of Men 'l'''
to an equality; for the greatefl Monarch in
the World, and the meanefl Subjed in his Sta-
tion are alike as to their defires of Praife, tho
they vaflly differ in the manner and degrees of
afpiring to it; Praife is as a Sum writ in Fi-
gures, 'tis every Nations Language, and is, and
will be every Countries ambition.
And 'tis well worth obfervation, that this
thing called Praife, is fo light, airy, and vola-
tile, as tho few are fuch Fools to hope for a
Livelihood folely from it, yet many are fo mad
as to expofe their Lives meerly for it.
Really the fine young Ladies need but open
their Eyes, and they cannot but behold their
partiality, in diftributing of their Praifes to
others,
and D i S C O U K .5 Ji J). 157
oes; others, and in receiving others praifes to them-
[fesf felves; for if one of the Ladies is Miftris of any
jiili one quality that they know is truly elleem-
uii able, they believe all the World looks on it,
jCQj but then overfees all their vices that are appa-
rently faulty; fo very wicked many young
itlu { Women are, as to be more apt and ready, to fee
tint and blame their own faults in others, than to
sjjijj confider or mend them in themfelves.
And the like meafures they ufually obferve,
J jj as to the beauties, or defeds of their bodies,
if they have any part that is very handfom,
jIjjj, they fancy all that look on them fix their eyes
on it; but if their Nofe or Eyes be ugly, they
jj, think none takes notice of them; but I de-
fire the Lady that pretends to praifes af-
ijjjj,, ter this rate, to oblige me, or rather them-
y., felveSj fo much as ferioufly to confider this
jIj,, very plain queflion. If youlhouldfee a fine
young Gentleman, of a fam'd vertuous Life,
jjjf and molt excellently well bred, and highly re-
.nown'd for his true humility, and great Cha-
rity; in a word, that was aPerfon indued with
all the excellencies both of body and mind,
that can render a Man compleatly perfed and
admirable,only that he wanted an Eye; pray
ask your felf, if you Ihould not be more ready
to obferve and blame the blemilh of that one
^ Eye, than to praife any of all his Excellencies;
J! I am confident you cannot deny but you
/ ihould, and furefuch a blind kind of imputa-
tion
158 C R A C T E R S i'
tion in you, is as bad as the want of an Eye in
him ; for perhaps he loft his Eye by a fit of s!''
ficknefs, as many do in the Sma/J Pox, which
is now his great trouble, but never was at all
his own fault, and therefore we ought rather
to pity that misfortune, than jeer at that de- aC®
fedt: Or fuppofe he met that lofs in hislnfan- inl
cy, and was in a manner born fo; might you iiSJ
not then as wifely, and reafonably, defpife the acs
two grand Seafons of the Year, the Summer am
for being too hot, and the Winter too cold, :ieiK
when they are not too immoderate, but you ifpo
too foolifli, for efteeming them fo. abi
There is no Womans beauty under the Sun, rpilii
that is fo intirely perfed as to be without fome kiiro
Fault, for then Ihe muft be more than Woman; kA
nay the very glorious Sun it felf is not without ililj
its Eclipfes; yet fure none can be fo very fool-
illi as not to admire and praife its fplendour !k,|)i
and brightnefs, though'tis fometimes obfcured ijijte
with a Cloud.
Nor can you propofeto your felf, that 'tis
a think fitting or reafonable to defpife and iiiui
railly any man, becaufe he cannot work Mi- inju,
racles, and perform impoftibilities, by raifing
the dead to life; for 'twould be as ridiculous
in any one to hope to reftore a loft Eye, by
wilhing for it, as you to change thefSeafons of i^^y;
the Year, by your blaming of them. injy,
Therefore let nie advife you inftead of raih ijuQj
lying at what cannot be help'd in others, liipj
ftrive
O U E S. FTi"
ftrive to mend thofe Faults which may be yet
cured in your feif, which can never be well
done, till you ftill behold the defeds of others
ti with a fad troubled Eye, which you cannot
ii forbear- doing, if you obferve as you ought
It Gods Command of losing yourNeighhour as your
E felf, for his afflidions mull be then yours, as
f well as yours are now your own: And his
:i blemiihes or faults would be but fo many Me-
E morandums of your own frail defeds, and fo
:k muft render you more fit, and better difpofed
r to, fupport thofe of others, and rather make
it your bufinefs to be concern'd for them, than
Se your paftime to jeer at them,
tt In a word, the young Lady that enjoys that
E lhare of beauty, which perhaps her Neighbour
[I? is troubled for the want of, let it not render
to her proud, that flie is more celebrated than a-
is nother, but rather let her exprefs her humility,
ffi and make it the great motive of her praife to
God, that he has been fo liberal to her in this
perfedion,
:: But to return to my defign'd Subjed, Praifes
(f that are not flampt with true vertue and great
ii merit, are but meet Air; all falfe Tongues can
;i, flatteringly give them, but'tis only your own
vcrtues that can juftly merit them.
'Lis with Praifes, as with Faults, they that
charge you with thofe you are free from, do
you no real hurt, and thofe that prefent you
With praifes you no way deferve, do you no
real
real good; therelore to apply to your fclf
the right ufe of both, inftead of being angry i'-
at others for accufing you of fome vices you iff'
do not ad:; be angry with your felf for ading sa
the many you do, which is the true way of tf
having Praifes, and defervingthem too. %
Praife is not only the dearly beloved Miftris ;iki
of Chriftendom, but alfo of Turkyi for 'twas ',iSI
Praife that was the occafion of making the mi
grand f^izier Muflapha lofe fo many Men before i
Vienna; for his Story tells vs, that he did not di
attempt that Siege fo much to ferve his Mafter,
as to Court his Miftris, more out of defign to -i
gain her, than out of hopes to take it; but jiji]
Muflapha was as much miftakcn in his mea- rjis
fures of Conquering his Miftriftes heart, as in It®
thofe of taking Vienna; for by deftroying her
Husbands life, he totally deftroyed her Love,
and fo made his Miftris to revenge her Huf- y
bands death, to beg ^\zGrandSeignior to take ,
awgy Muflapha's Life, which he did, and by ir, j|j;j
fhe Ihew'd her kindnefs to her Husband, and
the Grand Seignior his Juftice to her.
'Tis defire of praife and ambition that makes
the French King imploy fuch vaft Sums of
Mony, and Armies of Soldiers to work about
his Palace of Verfaillies, which is rather a Pro-
digy of Riches, than a Miracle of Nature;
fitter to be wondrcd at, for the vaft expences
laid out on it, than to be praifed for any agre*
abknefs about it, except the Gardens and
Watc!?'"
and D rS C O U ITS E S. i6i
Water-works, which indeed excel all either
of Rome or Florence, and confequencly the
whole World; but for the Houfe it felf, I could
obferve nothing in it extraordinary except the
rich Gildings both within, and without; and
' therefore as to my own opinion of the Place, 1
think there's nothing fo wonderful in all that
glory, as that any one Ihould fo much admire
■"S'-it, having neither River, Wood, good Land,
lib or pleafant Profpe(3: about it, being all round
liiilii! about clofe befieg'd by great coarfe and ragged
Hills, which cannot add muchluflre and glory
ife< to the Situation of any place of fuch vaft Ex-
it; It pence and Magnificence, fo as to be Celebrated
lis IK jjy fome as one of the Wonders of the World.
it|i:' We read in Hiflory that Alexander the
'w.i Great expreflcd much trouble, that he had no
iL"; more Kingdoms left him to Conquer; I am fure
:tli: the French King needs no caufe of trouble, for
lonv want of more Hills to Conquer and fite
dliyt about his Palace of Verfaillks, as long as he
lives, tho he had more Men and Mony to em-
ploy about levelling them, than now he has.
iniit Indeed fuch a Royal Building of Magnificence
li' well deferved a mod pleafant and Stately Si-
.tuation, but it feems that King thought it more
tjfc'noble & better becoming his greatnefs to make
one by the expence of Art, than to be behold en
[j)Cf to one of Natures free bounty, that the World
f' might know, he fcorn'd fo mean an offer,
s whild he has Armies that can level Mountains
ff:-; L as
as plain as he pleafes, and Mony to mount -qu
Rivers as high as he defires. ipi
And indeed if we range over not ox\\^ France
and Turkj, but all the whole World, we fliall
find that Praife is the Bute all Shoot at, tho ^
few hit the Mark; for if we but look narrowly .jii,
into Praifes, andconfider the Adibns, as well igj
as the Perfons, they are commonly, great Flat-
tercrs, and the breath of fuch Praifes, is but '^jj
like a Rain-bow, which is no other than a,jjj
meer feeming Collc£fion of many bright Co-
lours, without any true fubftance, or long du-|y||j
ration, one day difcovering the folly of the ,.y
other, and a few days will fhew you your own
end,and with it the vanity of them all.
Therefore if the young Ladies could but ',-j
perfwade themfelves to think ferioufly of the 1
little reality there is in the Praifes Men prefent^jjl-
them, and the vain paflimes the World deludes J'
them with; both Women and Men will find ,
that mofl of their delights are vain andde- .^J?
fpicable, for the poflelTion of much beauty if
breeds great pride, and high concern; and the "
decay of it creates in fuch as much difcontent. "
and envy at what they then lofc, and after-'
wards fee others enjoy. And fo'tis the fame 5;'
with many of Mens Worldly delights,, which
foon become uneafie to the Mind, and often?''
deftrudive to-the Bod^; for a debauch of^ ^j
drinking makes moft fick and out of order af- '^j'
ler it, and the enjoyment of handfomill
men,""'*)'
-I
W D I S C O U R S E S. 163
men, caufes ufually foul Pocky Difeafes, (fuch
French punifhmenr, fuiting well with fuch an
Englijh tranlgrclTioh) for the fondnefs of an un-
y vertuGus Love placed on an unchaft Womans
beauty, is like the Fire of a Candle, which
lafts no longer than it flames, and Candle like
airoon as its flame is confum'd, it prefently ex-
' pires in a ilinking fnufF. So fuch a debauch'd
'''^''Love, C Ilhould have faid Lull) commonly
ends with the odious detefling thoughts, of
?"fuch afoul and luftful pallion, which makes
then loath the finner, as he ought fliil the
' fin, and himfelf for having committed the folly.
And if any one of thefe Feniu Courtiers falls
jn Love with a truly vertuous Beauty, & hopes
■to gain his bafe unchaft defires of her, by fierce
P'Courtlhip, great adoration, large ofters of Pre-
"F^fents, & all thefe thick larded with the common
Oaths of thepraifesof her great beauty,
and his great and conftant Love, the Lingua
1 ^'franca, of all Gallants which all ftill fwear to ob-
l''''^lerve,but few ever defign to perform, and there-
; fore handfom Ladies never ought to Credit; foe
furely he thatfpeaks what he does not believe,
iK)ne ought to believe what he fpeaks, but is
til''bund in Confcienceand Honour, to flight his
St' Court(lu'p,and fcorn his Offers,or elfefhemuft:
Jill much worfe, flight her felf, and reputation
too. 'Tis a Proverbial faying, that Love ishltnd,
01-1am fure fuch a fort of Lover is; for he will not
A the unjuft defires he makes to her, but only
4 L 2 minds
m
\
iiildl'
I64 C H A R A C T E R S
minds the unkind returns Ihc makes to him,
without; ever confidcringthac they fpring from
her Love to Vertue, and a good Reputation,
but vainly fancies 'tis her Love to fome happy
Lover, that's in her favour, and keeps him out,
which difquiets and torments his Amorous ^
mind, with a fierce Jealoufie, which Solomon *
calls the Rage of Love; and tho young Men are
more naturally enflam'd with eager defires in
thepurfuitof beauty,than old Men are; for^i
Age to Love, is like Water to Wine, theniore'^^
quantity of Water, the lefs ftrength in the*i'>
Wine; but tis mod certain old Men are as able
Courtiers^and Lovers of Wealth, as any young
Men can pofiibly be; Riches being like the^iJJ
Sun, agreeable and comfortable to all, and
deed nothing is more common, than to fee Co-®
vetoufnefs to grow in mod with their Age;ffli
and thereafon of it in my Opinion is, thatalNji
other youthful fprightly delights but that ofw
gaining Wealth, decreafes as Age increafes;SM
but the pleafure of Mony, all Men can keep.lfii
as,the Heathen do their Gods they adore, un-fc
der Lock and Key. 1*1
But yet this fo adored beauty, Riches, carJf
ties its troubles, as well as delights, for there'sfei
great labour in procuring Wealth, trouble inioii
defending and preferving it, and alfo great;::
Cares in the well fpending it whild one lives,te
and well difpofing of it when we die; and fo:ii
if we look over, and fearch into modWorldlyij
•1 ~ pleafures.
tpleafures and vanities, we lhall find them as
contrary to the true repofe of this life, as they
unj are to the felicities of the next,
laj Certainly there is fome great Charm in this
i; thing called Praife, that tickles the ear, in-
Its flames the heart, raifes the fpirits, enlivens
i,;; the refoiution, deludes the reafon, flatters the
ilj; hopes, and deceives the fight, by giving a falfe
glofs, and making a counterfeit reprefentation
of things; for, the Bait of Praifes, for which
liB both Men .and Women fo flrive, and eagerly
i; purfue, is ftill painted and fet out in the bright^
eft and mod oriental charming Colours that
are imaginable, to allure our eyes, inflame our
hearts, and enliven our ambition,
ij. But the Hook that is hid in this Bait, that is,
y the great dangers, hardlhips, and thoufands of
ji! vexatious difappointments, that one mufl ne-
cefTarily meet, and runthorow, in the purfuit of
[jj; this Idol folly,is fo obfcure & artificially drawn,
as 'tis not commonly feen, but very ordinarily
J, I felt by many, in fome to their lofs of Life, and
toothers of their greatefl fatisfadions in it.
And now to put my lafl finifliing Touch to
this Pidure of Praife, the Miflris and Darling
of the whole World, methinks we ought not
to wonder that this adored beauty, is fo Coy
in her Carriage, and fo difficult to be gain'd ;
; if we do but refled, tho in a wholefail manner,
the fad overfights, great miflakes, and blind
„• purfuits of its followers; of whom I fliallonly
L 3 fiy
fay in general, that fome are fo eager in gazing *
at it, others fo over earned in their leeking
it, as really mod overfee the right way to it, atii
which is by true Piety, condant Charity, and
a daily practice of Vertue and Godlinefs in all i"!"
their anions : And no wonder that fuch as
will not take thefe blefled Guides, Ihould mi-
ferably mifs their way to it, and be fadly de-
fcated in their hopes of it. .isJ
And now having done with my Difcourfe oftiuK
Praife, give me leave to change the 5cene, and^iitili
to pafs by the uncertainty of your meeting ir,3jSc
tho to reded on the certainty of deaths meet-:;.;ai
ing you, and the terrors that then appear at lbs
the end of a vain wicked life; and to beg theaJc
vain young Ladies Company for a little time,:2i I
that I might lead their thoughts into the fadi^d
and difmal Regions of Mortality, that they;i,t[
may now confider it, to prevent it hereafter;jiafl
from furprizing them, and that they may car-'ijli
ry their thoughts to the Grave, before their for
friends carry their Bodies. 'X%
The Seafons of our Lives refemble exadlyjrf;
thofe of the Year, the Summer of our Liiesjji
fwallows up the Spring of our Y outh, and the;|ay''
Autumn of our Age makes us to decline, as thei^j.
Sun does daily of its vigorous heat and indu-iud,
cnce, till all the fair days, and various protltn
dudions of natures beauty at lad yeild to old;jjtj
Age Winter as their Grave; for as the Apodleilo,
^ays, 'Tu afpointed jor eiery Man cnce to
' and ■
and one day is ftill the death of the other; and
kk;, tho many things may keep back the thoughts
Jt(| of deaths coming, yet nothing can retard tho
111 time of his approach.
fen- And now I muft humbly beg our vain mo-
difli Ladies pardon, if I here a little mind them
ik: of the fad concluding Scene of their Life; and
itijt in how miferable a condition fome of them
muftnecefTarily bein when they come to die,
«£ and have wafted all their Life, in Vanity and
iit,s Sin, little confidering Reputation, and lefs
2!!!' fearing Scandal; little valuing Confcience, and
Br lefs efteeming Eternity. ^
ijc.', It has often come into my mind, that the
b fad end of fuch vain Womens Lives, is like
tltiH the laft Scene of their Loves, to their Gal-
III.:: lants, which is juft as an Ague turned upfide
jii! down, the cold fit after the hot; for when the
® fiery pafiTions of youthful Love are changed
ffl!5 through their Inconftancy, or worn out by
Kil) Age, or waftdd by Sicknefs; for you know
that Loves vanity, is but of a fhort date, it
E either vanillies in the a£t, and is nipped
li in its gay and vigorous blofTom , like the ten-
der-leav'd Plants, by a cold Northern-wind; or
elfe grows wrinkled and impotent, like crook-
itiJ ed and defofm'd fhrubs, for want of fap and
;r moifture, and fo grows loathfom and deform-
(fsi ed as the grim Jaws of Death, that will too at
j(t£ laft come with a dreadful ftroak to level all
'lit;, our fair Cedars to the ground, and make your
i ~ " L 4 beauty
i6tf C H 7m A C T E R S ^
^—
beauty v Ladies) to confume away like a Moth
fretting a Garment; every Woman is therefore
but vanity : and when you are thus brought .i"!
to your Death beds of pain and languifliing; '■?
O then Confider what a fad condition you
muft needs be in, when you will find all your afii
fond beauty and vanity going off the Stage, iisi
when your life is juft expiring, when thefcorch-
ing thoughts of your paft vain lile come to i
inflame your mind more fiercely, than the inti
burning Feaver can your body, and that the dm
remembrance of your pafl; extravagant pride fa
and vanity will torment your troubled Con- id
fcience more, than eVer before they pleafed 4
your fcnfual appetite, and that the Ihivering --d
fit of guilt, not only feizes your heart, but iy
pierceth your very foul, with fad and fober :abt
thoughts of your pafl: fins, and the Arid ac-
count that you mufl: foon give of them, and of; d
the terrible puniftiments that you mufl juftly aiiil
fuffer for them; when perhaps you cannotstu
comfort your affliffcd Confcience with the af-ji[p
furance of having fo much as performed in liier
your whole life onp pious adt, or charitable
deed, when you had both time and means to iOoi
have performed thoufands; and fo as too ma-uj
ny of you do, lofe the bleflmgs of the other liJi
World, mcerly for flighting Gods mercies in jtoi
this. ^
And farther 'twill be well worth tiie confide- iy
ration of our yain Ladies, that wh?n they lie ^
dying,
T and dT"s "c a crk s e s. 169
dying, the fins of their life will flie about their
troubled minds, as naturally as fparks do about
fire, and will lighten them to a clear fight of
lilt;
their pride and vanity; and their greatefl;
^ trouble when they are leaving this World, is
lilji! what will become of them when they are out
4; of it; and truly it will not be without great
sh; caufe, fince their Confciences will then afTure
them, that their Bodily pain in this Life, will
k: be but the Prologue or firft ftep to their Souls
k: eternal mifery in the next.
Whereas a pious young Lady who with ho-
fib ly David, makes a covenant with her Eyes that
pk they fhould net heboid vanity, hut ohferve Gods
fe commandments as her chief ftudy and delight;
ai;:. by truly living in his fear, Ihe will certainly
J Is die ;in his favour, and will find at her death,
lie. that her good Confcience will be her real friend,
,ii: and true comforter, and furnilh her with a
ip chearful readinefs to fubmit her will to Gods,
which will never fail to protedl her againft all
Ifc thofe fpiritual conflids and temptations of
jKi Confcience, which ftill rack and torture ill
ic Womens minds when they come to die; for
ij;; tho God cafts her on her Bed of ficknefs and
00: pain, yet he will be fure to lift her up with the
;C arms of mercy; and blefs her with the aflii-
:cj; ranceof a perfe£tftate of Blifs, after her pain-
ful life is ended; for tho Death be the wages
of Sin, yet a Pious death, isbutthepaflageto
^ Heavenly Life^ And a Religious vertuous
Woman
Ifi
I
I70 C H A' R A <J 1 fc
Woman at her death will as certainly enter into jsf;
a Rate of eternal Felicity, as an impious vain r,fi
and wicked one will into that of deferved mi- si)
fery.
Solomon fays, That the fear of God is not only i£
the heginning of wifdom hut the end of it; for it jia
teacheth you to regulate your defires, and pu- gis
rifie your a£tions, as it will make you live 0
well, in order to diefo. So that indeed our il
good aftions concur in their influence towards
the happinefs of our fouls, as the Sun does in ijit
motion to the Dial; the Dial is not the true ipj
caufe of the Suns motion to it, yet by the Suns aiii
fhiningonthe Dial, you may truly Judge of
the true motion of the Sun.
But leaving afide that difpute whether good ;;|e£
works can only merit Heaven, or not (as the jjn
Papijls teach,) I am fure living a pious vertuous
life in the faith of the holy Jefus, will certain-
ly carry you there; this all Ladies know, but
few will praftife, or fo much as think of, I
mean as youonght; for you ufually defer all :L
thoughts of the other World, till you arejufl: ijj.j
parting out of this, when alas the time prefent ij|j]
is only yours; for that paft is no more, and . ^
that to come is not yet, fo that you do but jj|jj
live between them both; the prefent be-
ing the only time you can properly call
yours, for God well knowing what great Pro- ijj
digals you are of it, is fo providently merci-
fui, as totruft you only with a Minute at a uuj
Time;
Time; for as he gives you one, fo he flill takes
away the other, as a Leflon of inftrudion, not
to rely on any time but the prcfent, and to per-'
form all your Chriftian duties in it, as the on-
ly time appointed you by God for it. And
Ladies if you will but employ this prefenc
time as you ought, you will certainly find
time enough in it, to enjoy both the delights
of this World, and to fecure you the felicities
^ of the next.
By this all our vain Ladies may eafily know^
and joyfully conclude, that there needs no
great difficulty in obtaining Heaven, fince it
only requires, (as I have told you) a flrid pious
and vertuous life to compafs it; which may ea-
Q ri
I
f fily be done, if you will but fpend half fo much
rfT
time in ferving your God, as you daily waft
in looking on your Glafs; in praying for your
:c® Soul, asin fettingout your Face, which muft
certainly, nay perhaps fuddenly, ftink, rot,
ii and be eaten up by nafty Worms. And real-
Si ly fuppofing there was no fuch place of Blifs,
as Heaven for the Godly, nor yet of Torment,
as Hell for the wicked; yet a pious vertuous
life, cannot but be more healthful for the bo-
dy, and more fatisfa£tory to the mind, than
excefs, pride and vanity, can be to either.
Next'tis worth your confideration to think,
how little true content moft of you can find
in this World, and how little time 'tis you
aifpan enjoy that little you do defire; for fuch
confide-
loii
mi
I7^ C H A R A 0 T E R S
confideracions cannot but render you fome-
what (enfible, of your great and extravagant
folly in all your ludicrous fports and paftimes,
unskilfully gaming away your fouls; fo as in
a manner to fet Eternity againft a Moment, I •'
mean, the Momentary pleafures of this life,
which cannot laft, before the joys of Heaven,
which are everlafting; and fure there can be
nothing more foolilli than to rely on the dura-
tionofyour abode on Earth, asanyfolid and -J'"'
lafting polTeflion, there being nothing more 'J""
frail and tottering than the Bafis your life
flands on; for tho you are never fo healthful,
yet you cannot but find in your felf, fome
marks and fymptoms of Mortality, which -V-
may ferve as Advertifements of the inflability "SHil
of this your earthly being, which is fubjedto ®
a thoufand Difeafes,and a torrent of Accidents,
efpecially in you fine young Ladies, whofe bo- JSi
dies are fo tenderly built, and nicely compo- mI:
fed, as the leaving off a Hood, or wanting of
a Skarf; the leaft crum of Bread, that flicks ®
in your Throats, or the fmalleft flop in the 'n
courfc of your Blood, (I had almofl faid or mo- .w
tion of your Tongues) puts the whole Oeco- liii
nomy of your body in diforder, if not utter :t\
ruin, witncfsas an inflance of this accidental 2[o
mortality, Pope Adrian, who as flory fays, %
vpos choaked with a Flie; nay your very food, .j;
the fupport and maintainer ofyour life, ought k\
to be a Memorandum of your Mortality, fince -i]
you
^
and i>T .TC'O u It's i: s. 175
you cannot live without it; and if fleep be the
Image of death, you are by the very neceffities
of your nature, to die every night, during the
few days you live.
But whether you live long, or die early, you
muftcertainly Die; and you are in this as well
as in all things elfe,to fubmit your will to Gods,
and to bend your grcatcft endeavors, and fix
your ftrongeft refolutions, in an intire obedi-
nee CO it, which if you truly and heartily do,
you muft learn the great vcrcue, and Chriftian
perfeftion of felf-denial, and defpifc all thofe:.
worldly flatteries and enjoyments; mortific
all your excefs of vanity and extravagant plea-
fures, that you may become truly amiable
pure and holy in the fight of God; when you
live in compliance to his holy Laws, and liib-
mit in all things to his good will and pleafure,
who is all love and beauty it felf, in the high-
eft mcafure and perfection; and therefore the
leaftfpot or impurity in your lives, is adireCb
violence and contradiction to the moil excel-
lent nature, and being of an infinitely pure
and holy God.
And now before I quite finifh this Difcourfe,
let me begone of you Ladies, to fuppofe your
felf to be in the aCtual pofieftion of all the
worldly plcafures you can fancy, that you
enjoy as great honours as your ambition can
afpire unto,and as much Beauty, and Hiches, as
ycur vain and Covetous ftumor can thirftaf-
• ter.
174 C H A R AC 1 li K d
I' ter,and as many rarities as your appetite can ^
wifh for, and that your Gallant was as kind,
1 handfom and conftant as you could wi(h: in a
I word, that you thought him as beautiful, as ^
1 you think your (elf; pray do but now confider, ®'
I what all thefe will amount to, at the hour
j| of death, and in order to it, refleft a little feri-
oufly, what a weak Bafis your life {lands on;
for according to the common Law ol the Land, ^
a Life is valued but at feven Years purchafe,
and many times by the courfe of Nature, a Life
does not lafl half fo long.
Next if you will but condefcend fo far to
mortifie your felf, as to go and vifit one of *
thefe Lovers of vanity, and railliers ofReligi- ^
on, one of thefe coyneffes of folly, and de- ■'5'
fpifers of vertue, lying fick on her Death bed, '**5"
pafla 11 hopes of recovery; and do but obferve
how her Words and Looks arc changed, and '
indeed the whole Scene of her Life, herCoun-
tenance being alllhadow'd over with the pale
and difmal Colours of Mortality, inftead of
her gay Vermillion paint; for all beauty and 'di
worldly delights vanifli and leave you with
your health, being like a Sun Dial, only ufe-
ful, whilil the Sun Ihines on it; then you fliall
find the but naming her rich Diamond Pen-
dants, and fine Pearl Necklace, herEmbroide-
red Gowns, and Coftly Points, will prove
troublefom to her, and the fight or fmcllof her
late beloved Dainties will then loath her Sto-
mach;
nfiiit
iklii
:Ul
Mc:
eci] natch ; nay a vifit of her dear Gallant, whom
y he was lb fond of, and delighted in, will be
: Isibdious to her fight, as well as the thoughts of
having too much lov'd him, will be grievous
to her mind : Then her Bottles of White-
wa(hes,orCoftiieticks will be thrown out,and
Slied with Ihowers of penitent Tears for ha-
vinguted them : Then her Boxes of Peeter,
s.nd Patches, and all her Ornamental knacks
'.nd drelTes, (lie was wont every day to wait
sli; bmuch time about, and to take fo great pa-
lime in, to adorn and let out her beauty,
foul vill only lerve to dilquiet her thoughts, and
the Prailes of her beauty,will be but lb many
difturbances in her Sicknels, and flie will be
then as much troubled to hear them, as Ihe
was formerly delighted to receive them, and
proud in the vain thoughts of delerving
them.
In fhort, on her Death bed, all her late dear>
ly beloved Vanities, will at that time appear
her moft afflicting Enemies; and fhe will then
loudly declare, that nothing but a religious
Life, can produce a Comfortable death ; and
will then tell you, that if fhe were the lole
Miftris of all the Riches of both the ladies,
fhe would give it all for the blelflng of a
good Cpnfcience ; for that never leaves one,in
Sicknefs, or in Adverfity, but is ftili the beft
[jj of Friends, in the worft of times.
L8 THE
p;
I, a:
Com
cja^
fJK
1
176 c: M R s
THE FOURTEENTH
E' I
DISCOURSE, *j
Dfeful Advices in order to vain modijh
Ladies rpell Regulating their Beau- ■
tjf and Lives.
I Humbly beg the vain Ladies pardon for
beginning this Dilcourfe fo uncivilly, as ta^o:
tell them, 'tis the Opinion of moft fbber and ite
oblerving Men, that many of you make but a iWia
felf-deceiving Calculation in the account of »!:
your Chriftian duties, and holy performances; aj
by fancying your lelves well lecured, and di- Mj
ligently aftive, in the exercile of Gods Com- ^|,ai
mands; and in your obedience to him, if you iiiiiis
do but rife early enough on Sunday to go to atai
Church in the Morning, and can Dine fo tern- iiil
perately as not tofleep at the Sermon in the it(
Afternoon, and do fay a kind of fizd Prayer j®®
like a fhort Grace of a few euftomary words, yii
riling and going to bed all the week after,
which perhaps may be faid more out of long
habit, than true devotion.
How many Ladies are there, and thofe of a ijlit
good and fober fort,(asWomen go now adays) io[t^
that fancy becaufe they live Chaft, read the
Bibl©
and D f S e O U R S E S. 177
'_L
■Bible now and then,and mifs going to Church
[j'butfcldom, who are Charitable to the Poor,
'Loving to their Neighbours, true to their
p Friends, good will to all, and in love with
none, (unlefs may be a little with themfelves,^
think they perform all Chriftian duties per-
u: feftly, and therefore deferve allMensPraifes
^Jtriily; and indeed they would not think amifs,
"if they would be but near as jufhandexad to
God in their daily account of their time to
him, as they are in creating daily frefh paflimes
tall and pleafures to themfelves, and that they
Ijiiic would meafure out their time, according to
k: Gofpel Precepts, inftead of imploying it in
lehJvain London follies and paflimes, which among
the modifli Ladies, are partly thefe:
rattti So many hours for Dreffing, fo many hours
di for receiving and returning Vifits, fo many for
sCr the Play, and the Park, fo many hours for Di-
,i(pning at this friends houfe, Suppirfgwith that,
op : and playing late at Cards at t'others,or being
foiii ata publickBall or Dancing at anothers, fo ma-
111!tiny hours to fleep a Bed to fatisfie Nature, fo
Pfj;: many more to lie a Bed, to continue their full
ff"': Face, and good Looks; befides hours for go-
[jlitt ing to Court, to fee new falliions, and ranfack-
..'irt'ing5hops tobuy new-falliioned Silks and fine-
ties, befides other times of vain idlenefs and
iftji prodigality of excefsand folly ; as fuch a great
r; : part of the Year for a pretended Difeale, or
rather diverfion at the BatK fuch a feafonfor
M an
I 70 Cri tx
an infirmity, or recreation at the Wells of Tww-fja
bridge^ or Epfom; to raffle away it may bc;;t
our time and money, to be profufe, and game,{fc
at publick Lotteries, or to charm or decoy
fome rich Heir, or Gallant for next Winters j
fervice; and now Ladies^ when all thefc mif-l^j
fpcnt hours arc abfl:ra£fed out of the twenty^
four, befides other parts of your lives accoun-^
ted ; I am afraid you will find fo great a con-jjji
fumption and ill management of your time, as
you do often too fenfibly of your Eflatcs and,"^
Money, and fo miferably condole thofe loft l
Minutes which you might have employed to ,'j
better purpofes, in being foberly modefl and
pious, to have performed the duties of
gion, which is the only true pleafure and pa-',^,
ftime of the foul: And tho fome of thefe di-$
vertifcments I know are not barely in them-*,
felves finful crimes, yet furc they are no better" ^
than venial fiiis, by their totally taking up, andf'
fo intirely devouring of young Womens whole
time.
I. My firfl Advice therefore to the vain La-
dies, is to alter the mifpending of their time as®'*
now they do, to employ it as really as they j""
ought to do; which is in preparing to die well,
rather than ftriving to live high, or look fair, '^
and not to fancy they fpend their time well, a-'
mong fuch as they but lofe it with; for as Seue- 'K
ca (ays, They are idle, ivho might be better
ployed', fo fuch Ladies live in fome kind ill, that^/-^'
may live in many degrees better. There-
oil/
uy
It
aKi/ D f S" C O U R S E S. 179
Therefore as prudent Men manage and re-
gulate their Eftates, by dividing it into fcverai
proportions ; fo much for Houfe-keeping, Ser-
vants wages,Apparel, private expences, and the
Ij^f^T like; and fo fuiting their Income, toanfwer
, '^5 their feveral Cliarges, according to their ability
j to perform, as their occafions require; which
necellary Meafures, becaufe many of the young
Eftated Men will not obferve, they fleer with-
,'out a Compafs, run they know not where,
w" fpend they know not what, and live they know
, not how; extravagantly, without eafe or order.
* Njow Ladies to prevent fuch an extravagant:
manner of fpending, or rather wafting of your
; time, I fhail advifeyou in order to the well
managing of it, not only to divide it into fc-
veral hours, for that is already done to your
"l hand, by many good Clocks and Watches;
hut you muft fubdivide the hours of the day,
into lb many portions fct out for devotion, bu-
finefs, and paftime, according to your ability,
and conveniency, always giving place to the
'I duties of Religion, the firft and principal pare
in all your derigns,and anions; ftill beginning
^ ^ the day with Prayer, and praifcs to your Grea-
tor, who made both it, and you, in order to
your worlhiping and fcrving him, and by fo
dividing the day into <ifo many fcverai parts,
and Stages of hourly employments, the
" T changeable variety that's in them, will afford
you variety of pleafure, as well as bufinefs,to
- M z entertain
10 k;
W-
nilil
ok 14
So C H ^Tl A C T E R S
entertain and direft you, and prevent you La-
dies from complaining, as I have heard many)
of you, O what lliall we do to pafs away this ^
afternoon, fince you will fee all the days bufi-®''
nefs and divertifments marked out before you; ®
and really nothing more diftrafts and vitiates
vain young Womens minds, than emptinefs'i^^
of bufinefs and employment, the want of^'F
which fills you up with the ill vapours of idle-
nefs, that old Mother of wickednefs, whereas
certain hourly employments, fill and reple-®''
nilli your fancy with fuchdivcrfityofchange,sii
and bufinefs, as is able to fupprefs, and allay, ®'
all fumes of vain idle thoughts, from arifing in
your minds, and fave you the expenfive trou-iiti,i
ble, of imitating many of the fine gay modifliJfM
Ladies, who by chargeable means and fiudicdr^l
Arts, purchafe ways vainly to pafs away theirs,
time, which by the courfe of nature, without iP
their help, and beyond their power, runs away si
but too faft of it felf. iioi
2. My next Advice to the vain Ladies, tho uli
I am fure 'tis very good, yet I doubt 'twill beae<
little lik'd, and lefs follow'd; which is to fliun slit
the infedious temptations of a vain London life, isoi
which often gets many young Ladies bad Re-ait
putationSjbut feldom good Husbands. London ;iitl
being become the very^Center-point, and Ren- a,
dezvous, whercall the vices and vanites of the hi;
KingQom meet; yetthefe vices and vanities,qi
are among many of the fine Ladies, fo richly is.\
gilc<
- ;
joul,^ gilt, finely painted, and fplcndedly fetout,as
1 ms; they arc fo far from appearing deformed, as
(fayii ihcy feem beautiful and taking to moll, I
aysfc mean the inconfidering young Men c.f the
oiejfd Town.
<1?®! Really the Air of is fo infefled with
Pride, Vanity, and Idlenefs, that'tis hard for
W; one of you young Ladies to appear in young
rsolf. Mens Company, but you mull have your Ears
,itb furr'd with Oaths and Profanenefs, or elfc your
k1 i;:: perlon Complemented with vain Romantick
Jlckift Courtfliip, which is not exa<ftly applied and fit-
audi; ted for any one Woman, but for all handfom
Women in general; like lalfe flattering Looking
Glafles, which Complements not only one, bur
every one that looks on them, not Raying for
a great beauty, but ftill flattering the firfl
faytltj comer.
; But Piety and Vertue is flill like a pure
wholefom Air, a comfort to all, and an Infc-
Rion to none, and is fo far from diflodging, or
(jis,q overcafling the lightfomnefs of any lawful
'[ffii:! pleafures, as it clears and dilTipatcs any dark
Koiaj Clouds of fears that may hangover them; for
iJni 'tis moft certain. Piety and Beauty, Recreati-
Ijiillil on and Devotion, may live peaceably together,
Ifi: and yield a mutual aid and comfort to one an-
ji-V other.
Indeed if you Ladies would but ufe to mix
jiji, Piety with your paftimes, you would foon
ififl come to make a paftime of Piety; and then in-
M 3 Read
irilis
liFeiiii
jm
dfc
1
ftead of dividing the hours for vain London plea- jjlj;
furcs, you would make them fo many Memo-
randums of the cflux of time, to put you in mind
of the duties of Mortality, and of the hourly y
advances you make towards it, which requires no,
hourly preparations for it; for the fame hours
fcrve as well to tell you of your approaches to y
Death, as to divide your pleafures in Life, as
the fame Figures in your Watch ferve to tell
the hours of the night, as well as thofe of the
day. .a
Then Ladies you will find that time laid out
in Prayer and Devotion, is not fpending, but
gaining time; and if you will but ferioufly re-
fleft, and heartily pradlife this great Truth;
you will foon find, that Piety is as to advancing
of worldly delights, and paflimes, but asBal- ^jl,
laft to a Ship,, which does not hinder, but on- ,1^^^
ly regulate its motion, not flackning but fled-,, i
dying its Sayling. " J
A fine Lady whofe mind is only fraighted. l
with the Airy Cargo of pride and vanity, can
never fleer ftcddy in her heavenly Courfe; but ijj j
is flill tofled from one fide of folly, to. another
extremity of vanity, for the want of the true ,'i
blefTcd Ballaflof godlincfs, which will Calm
anddifpofiefs your mind of all modilh vanities,!,,
and irregularities, and will allay all kinds of!|^
immoderate hears, raifed by theFeavetifli di-'^
flempers of Womanilh Pallions, and will fix J
your afFcdion on what is immovable, and per-"
petual,
and D I S C O U *R S E S. 183
^ petual, and will foon caufe you to abandon the
"I vain empty undatable paflimes of for
. jj"® the trueendlcfs felicity of Heaven, and thiiis
a Heaven upon Earthy To love God, and keep
T' hii Commandments; for then you will truly love
Vertue, and conftantly praftife Piety, and
only delight in the beauty ofholinefs; which
^ as it tranfcends much, fo it differs far from, all
Earthly love, for that's feldom or never enjoyed
with true quietnefs, long fatisfadion, or juft
,,, and equal returns; for the moft pafTionatc Love
j f we can fancy, as a Miflris to her Gallant, or a
p, Gallant to his Miflris, is commonly of fo fickle,
'""''li volatile, and inconflant a nature, as if a Woman
thinks her Gallant loves any other Woman, fhe
grows Jealous ; and if he fancies his Miflris
loves another Man, (as 'tis ten to one llie does)
he becomes inrag'd, for as Solomon fays, Trov.
6. 34. JealouJie is the rage of a Man, here on
Earth tho mofl are Lovers, yet many arefaife
ones, but in Heaven all are Lovers, and are
true ones; fince in your Heavenly Love, your
aft of loving, is the certain fruition of your
artj. Love: a Woman by loving Vertue, it becomes
tkc but by loving a Gallant you become his;
for fhe that is under a Gallants command, can-
vajiK' not truly fay fhe is under her own. In a word,
all the Riches and Pieafures imaginable, that
aii' you abandon for the love of God, you enjoy
the n all, in loving God above them all.
fraifk
Mfii
j«-j M 4 And ^
1:
sae
'184 C H A R A' C 'r E R S
And you maybe certain Ladies, if you can
but thus love God as you ought, you muft de-
fpifc the World as you ihould, and then you
will take more true delight in the title of a good
Chriftian, than you did ever before in the vain
praife of a great beauty, and flight this, in
comparifon of that, for a handfom Woman
like the Sun, is to be efteemed more for her
Vertue, than Splendor. Beauty is but a fine
outfide Skin, but true Godlinefs is all glori-
ous within, and will beftow on you more Ce-
leftial beauty in the other World, than all
your falfe Glafies, and Gallants falfer Tongues,
can flatter you with in this.
3. My next advice to you vain Ladies is,
when you are putting on your fine rich Gowns
which fo many of you adorn your felves with
every day, with fo great care, high excefs, and
vafl expencc.as well of time, as mony, which
makes many of you by being fo over careful
in fetting out your body, to be over carelefs
in looking after your Soul, in not allowing it
perhaps fo much as a clean fhift of Repentance
once a Sunday, I mean a penitent Sigh or Tear
in a Week, to blow off, and wafli away your
Sins, and Vanities, which your own corrupt
Natures, and idle Company breeds in you
every day : Therefore when you are putting
on your new rich Gowns, if you could but
remember at the fame time, to Lace about
your hearts this Memorandum of the Prophet,
lhat
,iiel
and D 1 SCO U Tl S E S. 185-
nnlll
ifagftv
That Worms are breeding under your Coverings
doubtlefs fuch mortifying reflexions, would
humble your pride, and abate your vanity;
and not only hinder you from leading fuch vain
tlieV Lives, bur wearing fuch rich Clothes, which
tliii,i;| though they may exadly fuit with the Rules
ffoji; of the Modifts; yet I am fure 'tis quite con-
: fo[[.' trary to the Precepts of the Apoftle, who or-^
utaj;' ders Womem not to adorn them [elves with rich,
all||J hut modeji Apparel^ as if rich Apparel, was not
motet niodefl, nor to ufe painful Drefles, which is
tliaj;, an excefs of folly of another kind, by fqueezing
your felves into a fine flender fliape, by pinch-
ing in, and thereby tormenting of your bodies,
by lafing your felves fo flreight to take Mens
fight, as you can hardly take your own breath;
and if this be not great pride, and high folly,
I confefs I know not what is.
4. My nextadvife to the vain Ladies,which
(I am fure) is of great ufe, and high advantage,
in order to their living vertuoufly, and dy-
ing religioufly, is this: Not only to lliun,
but totally to banifli that familiar companion
of your Sex, Pride; Ifliall not ftrive hereto
dive far into the depth of this vaft Ocean of
iniquity; though all our adions run as natu-
rally to it, as Rivers do to the Sea : Nor do I
here pretend to make a fubtile penetration,
into any hard Conceptions of the finful na-
ture, and wicked confequences of this com-
men; ( I had almoft faid Womaniih) Vice of
Pride,
IGok
resniL
icarsE
nfOi
lUW
yk
^^
i85 C H A R a C T E R S
Pride, my defign being not to enlarge on it, .
but only to preient you with fome plain ufeful
advices, and diredions how to deftroy, or at
0(2
lead Countermine this raging Sin, which muft
be done by a common pradice of humility;
which if young Women would but confidcr
truly, and follow carefully, it would foon per-
fwade them, to lay afide tlieir Delilah Creature
of vanity, and to call in a more vertuous ac-
tjuaintance of humility, and make her their
bofom friend; for Pride is one of the feven Sins
Solomon tells us God abominates, and Scripture
afllires you. That God ft ill rebuketh the Proud^
and ever giveth grace to the humble.
Pride is now turned into a Cancerous hu-
mor very apt to grow in all young handfom
Womens brefts, and in molt it fwellsand ran-
kles, fo as to become noyfom, not only to hu-
mility, and piety, but indeed to very com-
mon Society; and 'tis eafie to obfervc, that
many handfom Women, whom Nature hath
prcfented with a large proportion of beauty,
which of it felf had been able to render them
agreeable, and taking to all perfons; yet ma-
ny of them do fo fully and ovcrcaft the glory
of it with Pride, and felf conceitedncfs, as to
give it a difagreeable Air, and relifli to moft of
its admirers,by their too apparent proud affed-
ed ellimationof it. And'tis obfervable Ladies,
that luch of you as are always ready to place
too high a value on your felves, arc ftil] apt to
call
and DT S € O U K S E S. i87
iiisk
oinj caft too low an efteera on others, and fo caufe
u(jj naoft to undervalue you, for your flighting
oii|them. Whereas the vertue of true humility,
tiuji afcends by the means of defcending, as Trees .
Dili; mount and flourifh upward, by rooting and
inli;: growing downward.
Pride is a diftemper of the mind, which
at moft young Ladies are naturally inclined to,
)iuj and eafily infeded with ; for the leafl: enflam-
[ [L ing their beauty by Praifes, prefently turns to
aiSj the filthy ulcer of pride, which is of fuch an
extraordinary malignant nature, as low birth,
little wit, no beauty, great want, nay very ug-
linefs it felf, is not afufficient Cureand Anti-
dote againfl it; Solomon fays, Want of Bread
will not ftarve Pride^ and I am fure experience
teacheth us, that want of beauty, will not
ftarve fome Womens proud fancies of being
handfom, tho they have not the leafl feature
of it; fo over-apt arc young Women to believe
thcmfelves fo, that if Men will be fo great ly-
ars as to tell them they are beautiful, they will
be fo great Fools as to believe them, and rather
credit other Mens words, than their own
Eyes; fure Women fo blinded, ought above all
things to beg of our blefled Saviour, as the
blind Man did in the Gofpel, Lord grant me my
U j dearly come to fee them-
jj. felves, and their own folly and uglinef.
Sure 'twould be impoffible that handfom
1 Women, could fo delight in this Dcvililh fin of
I Pride,
:k
- ^
Ii88 characters
Pride, if they would but remember, that hu- js
mility is as well a certain improvement of Co
beauty, asaconftant inhabitant with vertue; m
for humility makes a little beauty appear great, :j i
but Pride makes a great beauty to appear lit-
5 tie; the firft being taking to all, the fecond d
odious to every one : The more beauty a pi- J
' ous young Lady has, the lefs pride fhe will miii
ij Ihew, like a Pyramid, that flill leflcns as it ri- i
it fes, and as zPhilofopher faid. He is a brave mil
Alan indeed, ivhofe wealth, honour, and power^ b
makes the leajl part of his greatnefs; fo that
young Lady is a real perfed beauty indeed, ,L
I that makes the handfomnefs of her face, the tlii
I lealt pride or concern of her mind ; fo vafta uj
I difference there is between the vertue of the .'ct
I Soul, and the beauty oT the Face; as Seneca aiil
I well obferves, That Vertue is the only Immor- ®c
I tal thing that belongs to Mortality, and we
I may alfo well obferve, that the beauty of the liut
I Face is the molt fading thing that belongs to
I frailty. Mcthinks our prouff Ladies ought to iuji
I remember the humility of who though Sd,
I a great King, was yet lb humble as to flile him-
I fclf a iVorm and no Man, but moll of our cc-
I Icbratcd beauties, arefo far from the humble ijj
thoughts of eftceming themfelvcs Worms and
noVVomen, as they arc fo highly proud, and
ridiculoufly foolilh, that like the Bahel proje-
dors, they hope to Toure themfelvcs as high Iq,
as the Heavens; for fome of them fancy them- jj,
fclves
W D i S C G U R S E S. 189
fclves to be Scars of the firft Magnitude, a kind
p of Goddcfles raifed up to theSkie; but if you
ask me how, I can but tell you, they were
only raifed there by the lofty Mufc of their
own vain imagination; and therefore fuch
proud puftup'beauties, are really but like your-
School-boys Paper-Kytes, which are only
mounted into theSkie, by the Wind, and fall
to the ground again aflbon as it ceafes to blow
them up.
Really if I durfl: venture to give my free
vote as to my opinion of beauty, I (hould tell
the Ladies that I think 'tis a meafuring caff,
and adifputable Queftion, which ismoft unfo-
lid and unlading, either the matter of this
fine compofition called beauty, which is in the
handfomeft Woman but like the fading co-
lour of 2. Tulips onlypleafant to the Eye; for
a little time, and there's all; or the maker of it,
which is no other than the various opinion of
every gazers inclination, beauty having almoft
as many Fathers, as there arc Men Judges of it.
Surely thefe vain proud Creatures have read
the Story of Theo^ofnis, a Prince, who
was railed to be Emperor for his good Face;
and therefore think they may well hope to be
raifed not only to an Empire over Men for their
great beauty, but that they do well defcrve a
great tranfcendency over the ordinary rate of
Women-kind, but indeed fuch high beauties
arc at very bed, but like Meteors, which are
exhaled
I ^
Tpo C ri-A R A C T E R S
exhaled but a little above the Earth, and are
yet a great deal below the Heavens. ^
But fuppofe I fliould be fo highly Comple- "
mental as to allow thefe great beauties, the
full Swing, and extravagant ran^e of their own
vain proud and lofty fancies; that they are as ""
far above the ordinary fort of Women, as the
Skie is above the Earth, and that their motions
4 '
were very generous and fublime, imitating
the Sea, which jmpatient to be confined by
the bounds which God has given, is ftill fwel- ®
ling and ftriving to mount and raife it felf above
the furface of the Earth; yet I would gladly
learn, becaufe I can no way fancy how they tpi
will pretend to be begot there, except it be by
the Man in the Moon; and indeed that may
pofiTibly be fomereafon, why our great beauties
are generally fo fickle and inconllant in their
Love, as receiving their great mutability from
the influence of the Moon, as their iifimediate lioi
Parent. M
5". Therefore my next Advice to the vain •;
Ladies, is ftill to remember that though your
beauties may be extraordinary, yet your lives »iii
can never be Immortal on Earth; and that »;i
your great beauty, and proud thoughts, muft Ul
both perifli with you; for it may be truly faid ;or
of great beauties, what the PJalmifl faid of
great Vr[r\cQS,Though yoH are ^ileel Gods^yetyou
muft die like Men ; fo though you may Is called
Goddejfes, yet you muft die like Women; and
~ though
I S O O U ^ S E S. 191
though your beauty could make as great a
Conqueft of hearts, as ever Alexander did of
Kingdoms, who had no more to fubdue; yet
as death has certainly put a period, to his liic
eels and life ; fo he will certainly do the like,
to your beauty and days.
, For indeed thegreateft beauty, is but like
the fineft Glafs, the more clear, the more frail,
and eafily broken^ for alas, take beauxy in its
very higheft Altitude, and greatell: vigour,'tis
a fabrick compofed, and made up of lb many
tender pieces of fuch brittle ware, and delicate
Contexture, as the lead: fpot or flaw, in any
one part, fpoils, or at leafl: blemifhes the luftre
of the whole; and as the Poet fays.
One that ii ^11 over Hearty ^
Every place proves a Mortal part..
Now Ladies if you refolve to be all over
vcrcuous, and difacet in Reputation, foasto
live Shot-free, from all the wounding
Darts of cenfure, you muft arm yourfelves
with a clear and innocent complexion of. ver-
tue; to procure which, you mull not o^ly ab-
ftain from evil, but the very appearance of it,
not only from doing bad Aftions, and keeping
ill Company, but even the hearing, much lefs
receiving vain praifes; and as you ought to
Ihew a general civility to all.fo you ought not
to give a particular freedom to any.
In
In a word, you muft manage all your adti-
ons with a ftndt prudence, a pcrfcd: modefly,
a real humility, a vertuous behaviour, and a
conftant fear of God m all you lay and do, and
thefe will gain you praifes, and make you well
dcfcrve to be admired ; for Solomon fays, Prov.
51.30. 'Tu the Woman thatfeareth God fhall he
pratfed, and by fuch a blelTed and holy kind
of life, you will fecureyour ielf againft all the
Cenforious talk of envious babiers, againft the
venom of thofe lying malicious Tongues, who
are not fit to be believed, nor worthy to be
feared.
Indeed Ladies, the beftwayto make your
earthly beauty, continue good and lafting, is to
be humble in your own thoughts, and not to
pride, or value your felves more than you
ought; fince 'tis fo vain, and uncertain in its
moft lovely colours and complexion; for this
will give Men a juft admiration of your pru-
dcnce and modefty, and preferve the vertue of
it Immortal, beyond the duration of this fair
and naked fubftance, which fomefudden acci-
dent or difeafe can foon blaft and rob of all its
blooming and youthful vigour, ftrip it of all its
gay attirement, and you of that vain delight in
your own felf-admiration; fo then beauty is
only lefs commendable in her, who makes it
her only pride and concern to fet it off; and fuch
a Lady, thus trigg'd up, and furniflied out, by
great art arid invention, by glittering apparel
and
and Disc: O U R S E S. 19?
and proud oftcntation, is but like a fire of
Straw, it may blaze much, but it cannot laft
long, and vvhilfl it lights others, it confumcsic
),ai(;jfelf. But a handfom Lady that's free from
afFedation and pride, and is biefled with
frt: great Piety, and true Humility, is like the
kail I Heavenly fire in Mofes Bulb, which burnt and
tiji]! lighted others, and yet never confum'd itfelf.
iii.; j A handfom woman that is very proud, does
idu but enjoy her beauty, as the Mifer does his
irb Wealth, who does not fo much poflefs it, as it
iols| poffefles him; and therefore your truly pious
Ladies, do but ufe their worldly beauty, as
the Apoflle fays we are to ufe this World, that is,
as if we ufed it not, by a godly habit of mind,
confuming all the ufual vanity affe£ted by
others in the pious refledbion, that there's no
true vertue, or durable fatisfadion in it.
We read in Genejis that good old Abraham^
made no other ufe of ail his wealth, than to
purchafe him a Grave; O why fliould not all
proud Women imitate him, and though they
be never fo rich in beauty, employ it all in
Purchafing a Grave of Humility, to bury the
dufbof their Pride in; and by fo doing, they
will certainly find a Refurredtion of true Glory
out of it, which willraife to them Garlands of
perpetual Praifcs, of fo Heavenly a nature, and
Vaft an extent, as they will as much excel all
the falfe vain glittering fplcndor of this World,
as the noon daybrightncfsjofa Summers Sun,
N does
,94 C H >rfint C"T E R s
ifl
does the fmall glimmering light of a little
Glow-worm, which cannot be Icon, but by the
help of darknefs,
6. I ftiallnext advife the vain Ladies, tore-
folve to new mould their Lives in this Spiritu-
al frame of Reformation, and to fquare out all '
their actions by the Golden Rules of Piety and "
Vertue. I heard of a Gentleman that being^|
dangcroufly ill of aDropfie,went toafamous"!
Phyfician for his Advice, who bid him abftain®
from ail Drink for a Twelve Month, and it ^
would Cure him; I am confident the like kind"'*'
of Remedy would cure the fine Ladies, let*^:
them but abflain from all vain thoughts on "J
themfelves, and not hearken to the vain flatte-
ries, and praifes of others but for one Year,
and 'twill certainly cure them of that Devi-^
lilh diftempcr of Pride; for by one Twelve^'
Months banilhingit, and converfing only with"^
vertue and humility, which are infeparable*.^
friends, they will certainly make them fo reli-
gioufly prudent, and happily vertuous,as to®
hate and-fliunall proud defires, and flatterers-''
Praifes, and caufe them to love only thofe that ^ ^
Court them in the holy Language of Truth, to®
the Love of Godlinefs ; which is the very beft J®''
way, they can exprefs their Love to you, or
you your Love to your felves; and truly La- ^
dies I cannot fee the leafl; reafon, why you'®"
fliould be againfl: this holy change, fincc it®"
Will not be a parting with, nor fo much as a'®
Re-
-4
and
tot! I
lutil
Retrenching of your love delights, but rather
be a better means, to enlarge and improve
them, by placing and fixing your mind, on a
much more noble objeft, and a far finer enter-
tainment, by tranfplanting your affefticns,
into a far richer foil, from Earth to Heaven;
from the fading vanities of this World, to the
never decaying felicities of the next; and when
once a young Ladies Inclinations are firmly
rooted in a real defire and hearty endeavour
for this blefied Change, file willfoon find that
her Love will become fo pioufly purified, that
inftead of her fixing it on mortal Man, flie will
only dedicate it to the fervice of the ever living
God, whofe fervice is llill true happinefs, and
perfeft freedom.
Then fuch a Lady will be happy above the
low Region of all worldly flatterers and the
more vain concerns of a fading beauty, flie'll
not value the rallying fcofls and contempts of
thofe who deride her humble and ftrift de-
portment, now fo much out of fafliion among
the vain Ladies of our times; for fuch a reform-
ed Lady, whofe mind is truly fanflified, will
extra£fc ufes of vertue, out of fuch extravagant
Womens vanities, like the Bee, that fucks
Hony out of all forts of venomous Herbs,
and like Fire, that turns all things within its
compafs to its felf; and fuch a Ladies holy
courfe of Life, will be fteady and certain in
its progrefs like the Sun in his daily motion,
N z nothing
T96 C K A R A C T £ R S J:
^
nothing of Storms or changable weather, can
ever haflen, or retard its regular courfe; for a
Lady that's in the holy ftate of true Mortifica-
tion, her conftant Piety will fo purifie and .|j
drawoff her inclinations from all vain paftimes '.jj
and modifli vanities, and from thofe foul dregs
of impurity, that are the ufual attendants of
a vain idle LondonWi^t, that by thisTransfi- ^
guration of Mind, and pious habit of Life;
her Converfation will be as the Apoflle fays,
fixed up in Heaven, and we all know that the ,t
upper Region of the Air it felf, will admit of
110 Storms or Thunder, for they are all formed
below it.
And firther that Lady who is fo bleffed as ®
Ml tri
to have her heart touch'd with this Magnetic ,
vertue of true godlinefs, her thoughts will b?
elevated to fuch a heavenly pitch of fpiritual
vertue and religion, as flie will defpife all the *
young Gallants fine words, deep fighs, and
languilliing looks, with all their high Praifes, '"'1.
and fliowers of Complements, which will ^
work no more on her fandified Mind, than
fliowers of Hail on the tops of well covered
Houfes, which fall off) as foon as it falls on,
without ever touching any of the inward
part. *
And whereas our vain Ladies receive the
extravagant encomiums and flatteries, I might
have almoft faid Adorations, of their vain Gal- ^
lants as the Lawful IfTus of their own applau-
ded
, and D T S C O U 'R S E S. 197
ded Merit; a truly pious Lady, will only
hearken to all the Airy Praifcs young Men a-
fcnbc to her beauty, to be but the Baftard
brood, of their own abundant fin, and folly,
and Ihe will make fuch pious reflexions on
fuch young Mens overmuch praifes, grounded
on a fenfe of her own unworthinefs of them,
as fhc will not only defpife their extravagant
fpeechcs, but themfelves for fpeaking of them;
which doubtlefs cannot but beveryacceptable
to God the fearcher of all hearts, ivh fiill
^iveth grace to the humlle.
Therefore Ladies, if you really defire true
piety and humility, I ifiufl advile you again,
and again, never to hearken with delight, or
hear with belief, or indeed fuffer with pati-
cnce, but Ihun with diligence, young Mens
airy praifes and Complements, nor yet coun-
tenance their flatteries; for multitude of Prai-
fes cannot but perplex young Ladies Minds, as
many Lights ftill confound the Sight; and
therefore when you hear young Men give their
Tongues fuch loofe liberties, and over large
ranges, in magnifying your beauty, remember
fuch high Complemental exprefllions are to be
truftcd no more, than the Chrijhan Flag of a
Turkijh Pyrat, which he only hangs out, that
you might efteem him your friend, that there-
by he may make you become his Slave.
Therefore Ladies keep ftill about you this
prefervative of your vertuc, that you look up-
on
m
on all the vain Gallants, that Court you with ^
high Complemehts, and great praifes, to be
but fomany Judas s that come to betray you
withakifs, and do not believe their Oaths, .[j,
either on the account of what they fwear, as 'Jjuj
to your great beauty, or their own true Love; -jj'
for really flattery and vain praifes, are now '
grown fuch common Arts, among lond Lovers,
as well as great States-men, and Complemen- 'jy
tal Courtiers, as we often meet the truth of
their meaning, in the contradi£i:ion of their
words.
7. My laft concluding advife to the vain
modilli Ladies is, when one of you is curioufly
beholding and admiring your fine Face in your '
Glafs, and find that the great beauty of it, ' ?
raifes proud thoughts in your heart, (which
is almoft as common among handfom Ladies, ^
as 'tis for them to look in their Glafs, which
nothing can be more common) humble your
pride with thefe mortifying reflections, that
this very fine Face of yours, that you like fo
much, love fo well, and are fo taken with, and
fond of, muft unavoidably in a little time be-
come loachfom, rottennefs, flink, and corrupti-
on, turn odious either to befeenor fmelt,which
is as very certain, as mortality it felf; and
death you know is not only fure to meet you,
but you are expofed by a thoufand accidents
to meet it, whilit you are travelling in this
Earthly Pilgrimage; for the fpricely gaiety of
your
199
your bloflbm youth, can only let you know
how long you may poffibly live, but can give
no advance fecurity how long you certainly
will; therefore young Ladies as well as old
Men ought ftill to march under the fafe Con-
dud: of a vertuous Life, and not to truft: to
the temptation of a long Life, but to rely only
on the blcfled fecurity of a good one.
I ihall conclude this Difcourfe and Book
with the good faying of an excellent religi-
ous perfon, That the vainefi beauty on Earth,
cannot jujlly deny this great Truth^ that beauty
is not abfolutely neceffary to the good of this Life,
but that Piety is eJjentiaUy neceffary both to the
good of this Life, and the nest too, fince one
may live well, without beauty, but one can net-
ther live or die well without Piety.
FINIS.